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fair fame here in the latter you lose it this marriage has to be in either case by the first mr escapes free by the second he suffers with me said quietly that i know and am prepared for was s answer and companionship in misfortune is pleasant she returned if you are really set on this absurd bit of you shall smart for it mon i am not disposed to be made the and sent into the wilderness carrying your sins as well as my own we will go together i am ready said sternly to give up to give up that i may save t the ghost of the past she laughed in a mocking kind of way yon were not such a lover to me she said i do not think you would have given up me for any such high morality at least i know that mr my husband then and the seventh did not you i did not give you up till i knew you said while i believed in you i would have gone down into hell for you to have died for you would have been easy and i for you she said suddenly changing her tone for i loved you loved you faithfully loved you as i never loved before nor have since i had to deceive you bad as i was how could i tell my sad story to a man so young as you were then with all your illusions unbroken it would have killed you i loved you my darling and you loved me will not the memory of that love soften you i want only the opportunity to be good i am i the ghost of the past not bad at heart i never was i have been the victim of a cruel fate and the sport of circumstances but i was never really vicious help me to redeem myself and to make s life blessed as i can and will make it he will never know i will be so good to him help me for old times sake she spoke with inconceivable passion her words flowed like a stream of fiery and as she uttered her last appeal she knelt on the sands at his feet and took his hand in both of hers carrying it to her lips lovely in her passion graceful in her with the eloquence of despair in her voice and manner with the wonderful of her nature shining in her eyes and drawing out the very heart of her she was at this moment as dangerous to s resolve as she had formerly been to his soul her appeal was one which touches every true man to help her to be good to help her to the ghost of the past redeem herself to lift her from the mire where as she said a cruel fate h d cast her and where he himself had helped to fling her and set her among the shining ranks of the if he would not if for the shadowy of he failed to do the real good laid before him to do genuine tears came into her eyes her painted lips quivered with a genuine emotion put his hand over his eyes he was trembling like a leaf for the task was very hard it cannot be he said with a sob for her sake and his i must not a boat drifted noiselessly round the and and sprang on shore god in heaven what does this mean cried dashing up the beach to seize by the throat stood where she was and as if in a dream i the of the past started to her feet she read her doom in s face now and as if in stone and she knew that the game was lost i was an old play with my former lover she said in her hard harsh voice the man who me when i was s wife tears had passed since this bolt fell from the blue and shattered the lives of all concerned how often the summer had faded into the autumn and the autumn had died into winter since then and what had wrought out their course to the end s lifeless body cast up by the tide how drowned whether by accident or design no one ever knew the beautiful woman by whom had been wrought all this woe dead of misery and want like so much drift wood on the ghost of the past the shores of time and disease and her mother like dim of their former selves wandering through the world banished like adam from the paradise where he had lived with love and walked with all the roses dead all the sunlight gone what a term of what a blank life was to the three remaining the two who had found their rest in the grave were happier than those who still lived beneath the sky sorrow shame futile despair and as futile repentance what an of that bitter harvest of youthful folly ought i to have him said often to herself but never asked his heart ought i to have concealed it cost all it had it was better than a life of deception the white washing of and the association of and with the wife of the widow of the of san i the ghost of the past long parted they met again one winter moonlight night in the at rome this place of death and ruin filled with the memories of love joy glory and all buried deep in the past it was the fitting place for them to meet and it was the fitting time night for day winter for summer the pale moon which threw black fantastic shadows on a ruin for the glorious sun which had touched all	45
living nature with gold and colour when they met it was st as if they too were ghosts with the rest but that momentary hesitation of each passed like a cloud and their hands clasped one the other too frankly for even the shadow of doubt shall we never bury our dead he asked will you never forgive me never me not while she lives she stands between us said but she spoke faintly and as if with reluctance the ghost of the past she is dead he answered only the ghost of the past us is that as strong as the living present can i ever trust or believe you again she asked sadly if the anguish of all these years gives assurance yes he returned oh did you not swear to be always true to me always always and through everything i have been true she said i have never loved any one else not for a moment but if you love me she turned away her head she did not wish the moonlight to shine on the tears that came into her eyes he took her hands and drew them up to his breast and she did not resist but if you love me he said again very gently she hesitated her heart beating fast her bosom then suddenly with the the ghost of the past old sweet action of self surrender she turned to him looking at him with the same eyes of love as used to look at him in the summer time so long ago i have always loved you she said softly and i have never ceased to pray for you perhaps god has heard me and has given us back to each other as an answer to my prayers for pardon pardon for myself as well as for you perhaps i was too hard will you accept my repentance s remorse bt james it not unusual with young men of or religious to seek their work on taking orders in the east end of london and to turn their backs upon fashionable and gift slippers and yet those angels of fiction as they have been termed the doctors are never with the same self sacrificing motives no medical man is ever described as preferring a poor neighbourhood to a rich one he goes to if he s remorse cannot get to and to if he cannot get to but farther east than he is not to be found in fiction this is not in accordance with his character with his sending in his little account to his poor patient with his giving him the money for a holiday instead of a or with the furnishing of every comfort for mind and body which that marvellous of his has discerned to be necessary at the first glance this is hard as there really are doctors in the east end of london and i once had a practice there myself it was not a good one in point of and there were plenty of the sort of practice that makes one perfect from a professional point of view and at the same time one from the income tax i confess however that i did not make this choice of my own free will not grace nor zeal but a quarrel with my respected uncle on s remorse whom i was entirely dependent had been the cause of it i had i allow considerably exceeded my allowance at college and my hospital career in london had been expensive but his conduct in buying a practice for me in the east instead of the west as a punishment for what he did not hesitate to term my reckless extravagance was i think it will be admitted he made me however an allowance which though one would have called it moderate in a more fashionable locality was ample enough for such a neighbourhood pleasures were very cheap there and not attractive its were not at the time of which i am speaking classical though of late years music of quite a high class has thither and green itself has become an art centre the dances one was invited to by advertisement were of a public nature and were too much of a character to suit the there was s remorse no shop where you could spend money to any extent save that wonderful where not only lions and are as plentiful as chickens in market but much finer are to be found than can be picked up in but lions were not in my way though i had kept a tiger at the university and i was much too young to care for a for which does not usually develop till the mind has given way a little this enforced economy had however one very pleasant side to it i generally found my self with money in my pocket a most unusual experience with an east end doctor there is nothing more distressing to him if he is a good fellow or even if he has a human heart in his breast than the knowledge that half the who come under his care are not so much in need of medicine as of the necessaries of life with which he is unable to supply them no one knows what poverty is who s remorse has not seen the east end during a bad time for my part it was a revelation to me and when one saw how far not a shilling but even a penny was made to go it gave one a nasty jar to remember the hundreds one had for spending s sake at first indeed brought face to face with such urgent want one s heart made one lose one s head and i found myself not from but from fastidious disgust at and wretchedness supporting some of the and most worthless in the parish	45
but after a while one grew wiser or less and learnt discretion which is the better part of charity it was a good school for me in many ways though i did not like being sent to it people talk of genteel poverty as being the worst sort of it but at the risk of thought material and commonplace i venture to remark that abject poverty the of bread and the sack instead of a bed s remorse on the floor is much more hard to bear there are degrees even in that or rather the same wretchedness seems greater or less according to the habits of those who endure it it is possible though by no means easy to be under the most sordid conditions the house or rather the one room may be swept though it cannot be the broken tea cup may be washed the ragged blanket mended but when is added to want pity is lost in disgust and the attempt to cling to the of life is the most touching of all the attributes of the very poor it is not help them often made when everything else has gone by the board it seems useless to look after the hen star court a locality where some of my most wretched dwelt made very little effort in this direction though as a rule they were decent people who dwelt there we have all a tendency to live among those of our own remorse calling how else since they are far from loving one another can the congregation of doctors in street or lawyers in row be accounted for and when we have no calling among those of our own taste and habits and so star court had become known in time as a quiet street new comers as the rest of my colony but averse to rows and thither sooner or later i used to fancy there were more people who had seen better days there thai i elsewhere but at all events they could hardly have seen worse it was a miserable spot but it was not necessary to ask the policeman to keep his eye on you when you went into star court which was but a reasonable precaution in some other my first introduction to it was owed to bent who called upon me one very warm evening in late august to ask for medical advice i had seen her before for she had s remorse been for a few weeks at the little house i occupied when one of my two was away i remembered her because she had worked so hard like a horse my cook had said during that temporary engagement and given greater satisfaction than usually do otherwise there was nothing about her to the memory she was not young five and forty one would say at least and she had not e en the remains of good looks a tall big masculine woman her only claim on the sentimental emotions that look of hopeless discontent worn by so many of her class and age she was certainly not an attractive person she was strong enough however and to all appearance healthy and the last person i should have expected to need my professional services still strange as it may seem in the case of those who have so many genuine troubles it is not more unusual for the very poor to imagine s remorse themselves ill when there is little the matter with them than for a fine lady if they cut their finger they think they are like to die and the woman had the bell which though scarcely in the city sense meant business well nothing gone wrong i hope i said cheerfully you all ht appearances are sir heavens knows she answered with what seemed for so a proverb a most unnecessary significance it s weakness so that one cannot lift one s hand to one s head and thirst so that one wants a and a cough that seems to tear one s inside out and besides that there s fever so bad as that is it i made the usual examination her pulse was right her tongue quite a pleasure to look at as compared with most of those organs submitted to my inspection especially that a s remorse most common variety the drunken tongue she had not at all throughout the ordeal and there was not a trace of fever you re nervous about yourself my good woman i said which in your case surprises me you re too hard a to have such fancies still them are the symptoms she answered and i want a and she held out her hand with in it such is not the fee in street but in the east end we are less and we have the same excuse for taking less as the gave for taking half a crown instead of a guinea it is often all our have in the world i don t want your money any more than you want my i said for mercy s sake give it me she cried it s not for me sir it s for my sister s remorse for your sister i did not know you had a sister how is it possible for me to for a patient i have never seen she is ill sir deadly ill she pleaded the more reason i should see her but she will not see you sir she made me promise that i would not bring you she has seen no one but me for years she s an invalid well of course and has an invalid s fancies no doubt come take me to her and i took up my hat then to my amazement the big strong woman burst into tears oh sir you don t understand me she sobbed she is not accustomed to	45
be seen like this you will break her heart i said on the contrary it is my business to mend it not that i had the least belief in what she said for indeed i began to think that her o s remorse sister might be a natures of i had seen more than one in my east end practice poor creatures that were not good enough or bad enough for a show two headed who had just missed their chance as it were by half a head elephant men with imperfectly developed trunks when poverty goes hand in hand with it cannot close door and window or hide in secluded grounds but still it will shriek from observation all it can like some shy creature on the whose shell is too small for it seeing it was useless to argue with me led the way to star court dry dusty but without sunshine because the tall black houses are huddled too close together it was indeed a cheerless spot for the sound far more for the sick to dwell in a few ragged children were dancing in the centre of it round a barrel organ to the superficial eye an example of how happiness is found s remorse in every spot but well i knew that in more than one of these lay women and children down with fever to each of whom every note of the instrument was torture but there was no footman there to warn the unwelcome or policeman to bid him move on the police in that neighbourhood had their hands full of more serious matters up three flights of stairs we went steep enough to suggest the aid of the had they been less and and at last into an with a sloping roof at the first glance i thought a had found its way there but it was only a head of golden hair upon a coarse pillow the face was turned to the wall and held her finger up stained with toil and rough with work to warn me that the invalid was sleeping why i noted the finger was because of the contrast it exhibited to the thin white delicate hand that lay outside the blanket for counter o s remorse pane there was none there was a on the hand and it was the only article in the room which would have fetched a shilling at the s there was a chair but it had no back and a deal table one leg of which much shorter than the others was by a brick upon it stood a with in it the only the apartment could boast yet all was clean down to the bare boards by a of carpet i had seen hundreds of homes before of every comfort but never one so cared for in its last extremity by hand and eye even the brick on which the table stood was washed and resembled one from a child s toy box that is a good sign her sleeping is it not sir whispered eagerly had entered very softly and doubtless the ear of the invalid had only caught the footstep she expected but when her sister spoke she answered in faint tones s remorse i am not asleep and you have broken your word it was not my fault my darling indeed it wasn t oh did i not tell you doctor how it would be and the great gaunt woman wrung her hands it was not your sister s fault that i am here i interposed gently she would have had me believe she had come to consult me on her own account but i saw through her it was my duty to come and it will be a pleasure to me if i can do you any good i had caught sight for a moment of the face of an angel or rather as it seemed to me of one who was about to join the heavenly choir but even while i was speaking she had put up both her hands before it it was a poor protection for they were so thin and fragile that one could almost see through them but the gesture was eloquent enough you need not be afraid of the doctor my io s remorse dear lie is not like any one else said soothingly a compliment addressed to my profession and not to myself she ll come round after a bit sir she whispered but she has not seen a stranger not to speak to for years and your coming is a terrible trial to her i nodded indifferently as though such shyness was a common trait for it is a point of honour with us doctors never to be surprised but to say just so and incline the head at the angle of assent when a case is introduced to us whether it be or the moreover i could have waited patiently for some time to get a glimpse of that face again it was the face of a girl rather than of a young woman though as this may seem there was little of youth in it the continuance of some distressing emotion or possibly of physical pain had as it will do driven youth away from it and instead of the ver remorse hue of health had given it an unnatural flush as if autumn had laid its fiery finger on a leaf of but the features were perfect and the large blue eyes the most beautiful i had ever beheld they had only expressed shrinking and right at my presence but it was easier to imagine them as the natural homes of love and tenderness around this picture the beauty of which had something about it or rather as it struck my professional eye was only to be for a short time on earth that gleaming hair made a	45
golden frame a greater contrast to her sister it was not possible for one woman to be to another presently she seemed to recover herself a little and i ventured to put to her a few questions founded upon what had told me she answered them very gently but in so a tone that they might well as in her case have had no personal application this was s remorse a bad sign for her disease was consumption where if the patient is not as usual sanguine or has little interest in the result the outlook is gloomy indeed after several things which i simply said should be sent in i took my leave followed me out of the room she does not understand she whispered you must not think her ungrateful sir her mind she hesitated is fixed on other things than food and i said smiling it is a common case with one so ill as she is she is not dying doctor the woman s face grew pale and her eyes with sheer terror i had seen relatives anxious about the fate of their dear ones upon grounds the most momentous spiritual considerations but never one so moved as this one and yet she did not strike me as being a religious woman as a rule the s remorse very poor take these matters with philosophy as well they may if there is another world which they do not always believe to which their invalid is going it naturally strikes them that it needs must be an improvement on the one he is leaving and at all events there will be one less to feed and cl the but in the case of her emotion was infinitely deeper than mere anxiety or regret it seemed to shake the very roots of her being i do not say your sister is dying my good woman i replied my examination of her as you know has been very slight but i confess that her condition me she seems to be in very low spirits about herself heaven help her well she may be groaned and yet she does not seem alarmed as some do alarmed what has she to be afraid of s remorse it is others like me who have to be afraid she has done no wrong if there is a heaven above she must needs go there well that after all is the great thing and should give you comfort for you will meet again i was a young man at the time with such at the tip of my tongue that they are all well meant is the best that can be said of them when a child is going to school for the first time we say the months will soon pass when a friend is for his health in a few years we shall see you again strong and well and since under these circumstances this vacant well meant for grain is found to be how can it be otherwise when the separation is complete the whither our dear one is bound one from which there is no return and our him without date and doubtful a clergyman may say these things from his s remorse mouth they may have their effect but though never is a hard word we have most of us to bear it from the doctor at all events a glance of the eye and a touch of the hand in token of human sympathy are it is my experience more welcome to the mother that is about to be to the wife that is about to be a widow than this vague consolation comfort and meet again she echoed with a sort of contemptuous despair and shaking her head like one with the re entered the sick room the whole situation amazed and perplexed me on all other topics the woman was what one would have expected her to be save for a somewhat exceptional honesty cleanliness and diligence bent was like other but in all that to her sister she was tender and to an extraordinary degree i made inquiries about them without much information they had i s remorse lived in star court for nearly three years but alone was known to their fellow her sister had been always a if not an invalid she had never left the room it was understood that she took in when she could obtain employment which was not often but was the bread she toiled early and late but no one had heard a word of complaint from her as a general rule it is not the that complain it is not that they are resigned to their harsh fate whatever cant may have to say about it it is not in human nature to be that but there is often a certain grim about them a not resentment this was not the case with however she had her reasons as i afterwards discovered for liking work for its own sake work preserves us from thinking she was quiet in her ways and kept herself to herself but she had a temper of her own a s remorse hour once with her on having a sick sister to keep she didn t seem to help much couldn t she put her own shoulder to the wheel a little more there didn t seem so very much the matter with her and so on then broke out and exhibited quite an unexpected command of language she impressed upon that neighbour the of her own business in such convincing terms that nobody ever ventured to with her upon the labour question again but she had not been popular before and this set society against her she was for the future very severely let alone gaunt and grim though she was for my part strange to say interested me at least as much as my patient notwithstanding her many advantages	45
her beauty was of the kind that is heightened rather than otherwise by delicacy of constitution even disease only rendered it more exquisite it reminded me i s remorse of the lily of the whom youth makes so fair and passion so frail that the light of its tremulous bells is seen through their of tender green so transparent was its splendour that she was dying i had now no doubt nor could the end be far distant the spectacle was very touching even to a professional eye but what i confess lessened my sympathy for her was her conduct towards she seemed to take everything she did for her as a matter of course it was quite true that she gave one the impression of belonging to quite another and a higher sphere of being but to see her so self conscious of it was deplorable if she had been a princess she could hardly have been served not only with more devotion but with more respectful reverence i noticed in particular that though every term of upon her sister she never addressed her by her christian name and i only discovered it to be by direct inquiry s remorse with the selfish of the habitual invalid every doctor is familiar but with bent it was carried beyond all bounds i had supplied her with various little luxuries and made arrangements by which during her illness her sister should not be under the necessity of leaving her and for this she expressed herself though i have reason to believe only at s in a few sufficiently suitable words if she had not uttered them i should have thought little of it there was not much in star court though in this case where the was so fair one naturally looked for the jewel but the of her sister s claim to gratitude and the coldness as it seemed to me the studied coldness of her manner towards her was painful to witness she never exchanged a word with her that was not absolutely necessary her state was such that it was impossible to with her upon that or any other s remorse subject indeed and so far this was an excuse for her she was so in her own wretchedness so given over to i know not what of and despairing memories that she seemed to pay no attention even to her own condition to the body that did her such grievous wrong or to the soul that was about to quit it on her side was equally silent dumb as the dog who treated with indifference by some master still waits on and watches him with patient devotion but it was easy to see how she longed for a kind word or even a loving glance and longed in vain at last when the end was very near i could forbear no longer it was a clergyman s business perhaps more than mine but my patient had declined and with no little vehemence for one so weak to see a clergyman and i took my courage for strange as it may seem it needed courage in both hands and spoke to her s remorse have you not one word even of farewell for the sister who has nursed you so tenderly there was a struggle within the panting bosom added to the fight for breath but the lips moved and what they formed was the no in the faint sound i recognized a distant touch of bitterness i know not what you have suffered i went on and it may be this struck me for the first time even at her hands but i know what she has suffered and is suffering now for your sake forgive her if she has done you wrong as you yourself hope to be forgiven look at her it may be for the last time and bid her kiss you into the dying eyes as she turned them on her sister there came a look of sweetness and she feebly stretched her arms towards her in invitation of an embrace fell on her knees beside the wretched s remorse bed with a cry in which for the moment sorrow seemed to have been swallowed up in joy to have been the witness of what followed would have been a and i left them together it may have been their first and last caress for when i entered the room the next morning it had but one living tenant the dead girl lay on the bed with her hands crossed as if praying over her breast the words of the poet occurred to me as i looked at her but it was that line alone which had any application to her case that she had not fallen whatever sin she had committed though she looked an angel as hood s unfortunate had done i felt certain her story was no common one of the street and the river everything that loving hands could do had been done for her to the very last service was wonderfully calm and resigned and after a few words of sympathy which perhaps had better not have been said for i s remorse m i i could see they tried her firmness i spoke of what was necessary of course i took upon myself all the arrangements of the funeral but i had to ask her one question about the i do not know your sister s married name i said she was never married was the unexpected reply my eye wandered to the wedding ring upon that delicate finger on which the needle had left no trace it had indeed done little work of any kind but only shook her	45
head then i will give your sister s maiden name bent she was not my sister sir she was no relative at all put no relative then indeed you may say you have done your duty to your neighbour s remorse my duty she answered with bitter scorn and throwing up her great hands it was i who murdered her it was not till some days afterwards when had been laid to rest in the that i heard from what she believed to be the story of her crime it was exaggerated and i am very sure represented the case only as it appeared to a mind full of remorse and self reproach i prefer for truth s sake as well as hers to give the facts as they would have struck an observer was the daughter of a well to do and who had made his money honestly enough but he was a and of the of the his wife had died when was still a child and she was brought up in an atmosphere of gloom and very to her character which was at once frivolous and her beauty s remorse of which she was only too conscious was pronounced by the formal society with which she mixed to be a as indeed it proved to be and every amusement to which she was naturally inclined was sternly forbidden to her who had been her nurse and when she grew up become her maid with her young mistress to whom she was also attached and made common cause with her against her as she called them though those included her parent himself he was very and kept short as to pin money and who as she told me for she spared herself in nothing was very greedy of gain on a very low scale of wages it was a sad and rather sordid story of severity and met by and what it was the disinterested though exaggerated of which would have borne comparison with that of times except for her singular beauty there s remorse was nothing admirable in who indeed was proud selfish and but in s eyes she was perfection and a martyr fit for a prince but with no choice of save of a commonplace and unworthy kind who never having seen a stage play had no notion of the of making a friend of the maid of their mistress presently however a lover appeared of quite another stamp but unhappily a lover mr power was one of her father s customers a gentleman as was understood of good position who at all events gave large orders which were paid for and while calling on mr on business he chanced to catch sight of and became at once of her beauty without the simplicity which is the of her sex she was absolutely ignorant of that world with which she panted to mingle the man s air of fashion made as much way with her as his and s remorse the which a man of his stamp when bent on such a design was taken by as a sign of a generous nature without knowing them as i think to be exactly she took his with one word to her master she could probably have saved his daughter but she did not feel she was in danger even a word of warning to herself might not have been thrown away but she did not give it on the contrary urged by many considerations dislike of her master and his surroundings to please her darling and confidence in power s professions she assisted him to with her i am afraid there was even a time when shrank from the audacity of that design and but for would have abandoned it but it was because she was herself deceived indeed at the last when had lost her head as well as her heart and would have risked all for love stepped in and insisted upon s remorse being present at the marriage ceremony it was a barren precaution though poor might afterwards have used it as a weapon of revenge if she had had the heart for revenge for in a few weeks she discovered that he whom she had believed to be her husband was a married man in that brief space she had lost all fortune friends and home for her father closed his doors against her and the unhappy girl found herself thrown on her own resources which consisted only of a scanty wardrobe and a few jewels then like a wounded she turned upon with it is you who have been my ruin the fury that might reasonably have been poured on her seemed in the very catastrophe he had caused as flame deserts the blackened ruin so far as he was concerned the crime of which she had been the victim was so overwhelming that in place of indignation she felt only wretchedness and despair too s remorse weak to seek relief in self destruction she yet desired to hide herself from her fellow creatures and especially to be seen no more of men what remained to her of vitality took the form of passionate reproach of her late ally and assistant and not a word did say in her own defence instead of leaving her young mistress to a fate only too easy to be foreseen she devoted herself with and remorse to smooth the rough road she must needs travel for the future of her own never made and accepted the other s services not only as her due but as but a small of the obligation she had incurred in having given her such bad advice that she had not forgiven her she made very plain even as has been shown up to the last moment of her life but never thought herself hardly used there was nothing i could do as you may s remorse	45
believe she said that deserved thanks it was owing to me that my poor dear mistress so young so beautiful so tender had fallen into the hands of a villain and unfit as she was to bear hardships was compelled to live upon a crust was it to my credit that these hands which had taken his provided the crust if miss had complained she said she could have better borne the consciousness of her crime but after that first outbreak she kept silence a cold silence that for years had chilled the other s very heart all she for was to be alone not to be spoken to not to be seen and even when her illness had become severe it was only on s promise to obtain professional advice without the doctor s presence that the sick girl had permitted her to apply to me this was the story of s remorse i did what i could to reason with the poor s remorse woman by pointing out how penance for wrong but if i had not been so fortunate as to obtain for her s death bed forgiveness she would certainly never have forgiven herself as it was she was in some degree comforted i got her a situation in the country with some friends of mine where she was greatly esteemed and remained for years she always took a day or two s holiday in the summer no one knew where she spent it for she had no friends but at the same time who ever visited a certain east end would have found on s grave fresh flowers is it a man br j m i i came upon his grave accidentally a few weeks ago while taking a short cut through the of an provincial his name i had forgotten the night j h b j heard it years ago had flung it away so to speak with the he gave me at the same time but the on the recalled his story to me as vividly as if it was a long lost friend n is it a whom i had suddenly struck against i laughed at the story when he told it to me but when i read it in brief on the i wondered why i had laughed we only met once and it was in london at the theatre his stall mine when his lips were at rest he was a melancholy looking little man but frequently he spoke to himself and then all character went out of his face for a time he paid no attention to the acting but by and by he sat up excitedly in his seat rubbed his hands nervously on his trousers and leaning in my direction peered not at the stage but at the wings i heard him her cue in a moment and i don t see her he looked around the house as if to signal to everybody that something was about to happen and then i noticed his feet begin to beat the floor instinctively and his one palm run to the other next moment the heavy father whispered to the old and there is it a fore comic but not a word of this to my daughter here she comes the heroine of the piece sailed on to the stage with tears for her father and smiles for the audience and as i thought one quick glance for my neighbour his feet softly on the floor as a sign to the audience to cheer but they were reluctant and after she had given them an imploring glance she began to speak slowly as one saying to herself between her spoken words i am still quite willing to stop if you will me and she was applauded for my neighbour s feet at last set others a going and then she and waited for more and then we all became energetic the little man had been breathing quick in his excitement but now he heaved a great sigh of relief and whispered to me in exultation what a reception the o has got sir and quite spontaneous the same thing occurs every night every night is it a every night hush you will see acting now he had silenced me when i was about to ask him if he was here every night i judged him an ardent admirer of miss o and had further evidence during the first act that one man may lead the applause as a conductor leads the when miss entered and some began to cheer my neighbour cried sh sh so fiercely that the demonstration stopped abruptly and miss withdrew her when the heavy father stopped in the middle of his long speech for a hand to help him on his way he would have got it but for the sh sh of the little man when the the elderly in the ribs which is how elderly are made love to on the stage some ladies but my neighbour looked at them with a face that said there is nothing funny in that and they restrained their mirth is it a man but miss o snatched the from and put it on her own head he chuckled till the whole audience admitted the fun of it and when miss o told lord john to stand back and let her pass my neighbour brought down the house and when she made her reluctant exit he brought down the house again and when the curtain fell on the first act he shouted o until we were all not until he had her before the curtain would he retire and then it was to speak about her to me the exchange of a introduced us to each other you have seen the piece before i asked with the good nature that is born of a i had already interest in him to wonder who he was the piece	45
he echoed indifferently oh yes i have seen the greater part of it frequently how does it end is it a he shrugged liis shoulders i don t know he answered contemptuously i always walk out of the house just before the last is miss o not on the stage in that i asked she is not he replied out an oath or two and trembling with rage did you ever hear of anything so monstrous she is leading lady the idol of the town and yet she is not on at the end excuse me sir i am always taken in this way when i think of it he bit his in two and asked for another then he explained she dies you know in the middle of the act ah that accounts for it i said not at all he retorted she ought not to die until the and if she had to die then that should have been the what do people come to the theatre to see it a the play i suggested the he sneered there are twenty plays to be seen nightly at west end theatres but only one o they come to see the o sir and it is the public to let her die a moment before the end still i said the author he broke in who thinks of the author he could easily have brought down the curtain on the o s death and i am confident he meant to do it but is the management s niece and insisted on being the only lady in the you noticed that was a complete frost i distinctly heard some one hissing her so did i i said smiling for the some one had been himself you heard it too he cried thank you sir he said and shook me warmly by the hand the o herself he added had no is it a man wish to be in the but she knew the public would expect it she is a woman that sir she is i agreed ha he exclaimed you too were struck by it but she every one in the same way the management pay her a salary but she is worth it did you hear how that man in the pit laughed over her lines about bread and cheese and kisses i wonder who he is what salary does she get i asked with the curiosity of a theatre they say he replied looking at me sharply that she gets eighty pounds a week hem i said he what a carriage she has he exclaimed and then waited for me to agree wonderful i said for i never contradict a man who is in love you think she has a wonderful carriage is it a f lie asked as if i had put the idea into his head yes you are quite right i will tell her you remarked on it you know her personally i have that honour he replied with dignity candidly now is not her education superb it is i said i agree with you he answered and you have used the one word that properly describes it superb yes that is the very word i will tell her you said superb i see you know acting sir when you see it not that i would call it acting would you call it acting certainly not i answered but hoping he would not ask me to give it a name no he said it is not acting it is simply genius genius i said from memory is all the talents in a ha he cried that is how you would is it a describe her all the talents in a i what a capital line for the all the talents in a i will tell her you said that about her he lowered his voice press he asked with some awe i shook my head got friends on the press he next inquired yes i said remembering that a owed me five pounds critics i shouldn t wonder then he said eagerly put them up to that line all the talents in a or stop would you mind giving me their private address unfortunately i cannot that is a pity because if you could see your way to a par i think i might be able to introduce you to the but she is very particular is it a you are an about her i remarked who could help it he answered i have watched her career since she was on my soul sir since she was nobody in particular there was a time when that woman was no more famous than you are you were speaking of her genius a minute ago but would you believe it she rose from the ranks positively from the ranks if i had at this his hands would have been ready to catch me but i kept my senses your interest in her i ventured to say was very natural but it must have taken up a good deal of your time all my time he said except during business hours of course from the time i rise until midnight then you have no profession that is my profession is it a what the interest i take in her and did you never do anything else i asked beginning to envy the little man his father at once the melancholy look of which i have spoken came back to his face i used to be in the profession myself he said sighing i am jolly little jim he did not look it at that moment tou have forgotten me i see he said think a moment jolly little jim was the name i am afraid i never heard it i had to admit nonsense he answered everybody knew that name once i got no other though my real name is james why i advertised as jolly	45
little jim you must have heard it perhaps i have i replied pitying his distress a is it a man f if you would care to read my press notices he began putting his hand into his pocket i can not to night i interposed hurriedly i can repeat most of them he said brightly rather tell me why you gave up a profession i said which you doubtless adorned thank you he answered again pressing my hand well sir the o has the responsibility for that you gave up acting because it interfered with your interest in her you may put it in that way i gave up everything for her if that woman sir had asked me to choose between her and my press notices t believe i would have burned them how has she rewarded you i asked seeing that he was of a nature she married me he answered drawing himself up to his full height yes i am her husband is it a it was i who shook his hand this time i could think of nothing else to do he was beginning his story when the bell warning us to return to our seats she is on immediately he said so we must go back and give her a hand i ll meet you here again after the second act ii during the second act mr behaved as previously drinking in miss o s every word cheering her and and yawning and even reading a newspaper when he should have been listening to miss once i saw him make a note on his programme and felt sure it was all the talents in a i started him on his story as soon as he joined me in the smoking room he had remained in his seat to shout o the first time i ever set eyes on her he it a began was at where we had both been engaged for yes that woman once played in and what is more she was only second girl that is a strange thing to think of i was the first villain and the said of my creation another part admirably rendered is the of mr james better known to fame as jolly little jim mr who was received with an but you were to tell me of miss o i reminded him ah he said i shall never forget that first meeting it took place at and when i left the theatre that afternoon i was a changed man you fell in love with her at first sight not absolutely at first sight you see i was introduced to her before the began and there was no opportunity of falling in love with her then is it a still she had impressed you how could she impress me before i had seen her do anything what is it in a woman that one falls in love with who can tell i said anybody can tell he answered putting me down for a bachelor it is the genius in her or rather what we consider genius for many men make a mistake about that so you loved her for her genius what first struck me was her exit i suppose i may say that i fell in love with it at once then she sang only a verse but it was enough later she danced and that sir was a revelation i knew the woman was a genius by the time the was in full swing she was the one woman in the world for me and she had fallen in love with your genius too i could not be certain you see we is it a were not on speaking terms she was so jealous but that i said is recognized as a sign of love no doubt she wanted you entirely to herself who was the lady what lady he asked in surprise the lady miss o was jealous of i said i never said she was jealous of a lady though of she would be jealous of the principal girl i spoke of myself but how i questioned could she be jealous unless she thought you were paying attention to some other woman oh he said with slow i see what you mean but you don t see what i mean it was of me that she was jealous or rather of my song you may not be aware that in we are allowed to choose our own songs well it so happened that she and i both wanted to sing the same song it is it a was an exquisite thing called do you think when you wink and as i had applied for permission to sing it first she was told to select something else that was why we did not speak but if you loved her i said speaking it is true on a subject of which i knew little you would surely have consented to your rights to the song love it is said delights in self sacrifice no doubt he admitted but you know the lines i could not love you dear so much loved i not honour more well my honour was at stake for i had promised my admirers in and they were see the for january to sing that song and my fame was at stake as well as my honour for i created quite a with do you think when you wink still i insisted love is all powerful i admit it he answered and what is is it a more i proved it for after i had sung the song a week i transferred it to her did she sing it as well as you had done there was a mighty struggle within him before he could reply but when he did speak he was magnificent she sang it far better than i he said firmly and then it was a	45
great sacrifice you made i said gently but doubtless it had its reward did she give you her hand in exchange for the no he answered we were not married until a year after that she was grateful to me but soon we quarrelled again the fact is that i took a call which she insisted was meant for her she felt that disappointment terribly indeed she has not got over it yet she cannot speak about it without crying you mean i said that you years ago deprived her of the privilege of to is it a an audience surely she would not let that prey on her mind you don t understand he replied that fame is food and drink to an artist it was months she forgave me that though she is naturally the most tender hearted creature our man stole fifty pounds from her and she would not him because she knew his sister but you see it was not money that i deprived her of it was fame and did you win your way back into her favour i asked by letting her take a call that was meant for you no he said several times i determined to do so but when the moment came i could not make the sacrifice i spent about half my salary in presents to her but although she took them she refused to listen to any proposal of marriage by this time i had confessed my love for her well we parted and soon afterwards i got an engagement as chief o is it a in the powder monkey company which was then on tour she was playing in it fancy that woman flinging herself away on i made a big hit in my part the observer said mr james the celebrated jolly little jim created a but about miss o i asked we got on at first he said she had decided to forgive you no she was the first day but i put her up to a bit of business that used to be nightly and then she accepted my of marriage but a week after i had given her the engagement ring she returned it to me i don t blame her you admit that she had just cause of complaint against you yes no woman who was an artist could have stood it the fact is that one night i took the up side of her in our comic love is it a scene that is to say i had my face to the audience and so she was forced to turn her back to them i had no right to do it but a sort of madness came over me and i yielded to the impulse as soon as we had made our she flung the ring in my ah she gave me back the ring and for the remainder of the tour she was not civil to me the tour ended abruptly indeed the manager owing us all a fortnight s salary and we were in without money to pay for our lodgings not to speak of our tickets back to london i my watch and sold my fur coat and shared what i got for them with her and so the engagement was resumed no no that was merely a friendly act and it was accepted as such the engagement was not resumed until i got a par about her into a sunday paper but that is the bell i ll tell you the rest after her death scene is it a iii miss o died as slowly as the management would allow her and when she had gasped her last gasp with her hair down jolly little jim that was led the tears and the cheers cried out superb by jove that woman has all the talents in a nut shell and from the in a manner that invited the rest of the audience to follow but everybody save mr and myself remained to see the comic man produce the missing will and so my little friend and i got the smoking room to ourselves the next time we were on tour together he continued after i had given the death scene a was in letters of fire with a real steam engine i was bill the returned and the age said mr who as jolly little jim made such a is it a the engagement was resumed by this time i asked i told you the par had done that however we had another during because i got the to speak i dare say that would have led to a had not had not she loved you so deeply i suggested she loved me fondly he replied but she loved fame more every true genius does no the reason she did not break with me then was that i was on in her great scene in the fourth act you see as chief i had a right to a little comic by play in that scene and if i had exercised that right i should have drawn away attention from herself thus i had the whip hand of her i am inclined to think that had i pressed the point i could have married her during the run of that piece by threatening if she delayed the wedding to introduce comic business into her great yes but i did not and you are no doubt wondering why the fact is i thought my self denial would soften her heart and so bring about the results i was for perhaps it would have done so but unfortunately letters of fire did not draw though a great success and we had to put london on in its place in that piece the leading played up to her so well that she began to neglect me i was in despair and so not quite for my actions nevertheless you	45
will think the revenge i took as cold blooded as it seemed to her you must understand that though our pieces were splendidly the o had fifty of herself done at her own expense and all framed these she got our agent in advance to exhibit in the best places in the best shops and undoubtedly they added to her fame they is it a preceded us by a week and so she was always well known before we opened anywhere well sir got fifty of myself framed and ten days before we were due at i had them put into fifty shops there why shops i interposed because they are most seen and discussed there he explained it comes natural to a man when he is being shaved to talk about what is on at the theatres i can t say why that is so but so it is perhaps one reason is that are nearly always on matters of art well if there is a good in the shop of course it comes in for its share of discussion and the tells what parts you have played before and so on it is a great help however the o no sooner heard what i had done than she told me all was over between us still i said the would have had room for her pictures as well as for yours is it a i got the best places lie answered and there is too to consider the more there are to look at the less attention does any particular one get and she held that if i loved her truly i would not have stepped in as it were between her and the public she did not get a reception that opening night at and of course she gave me the blame it seriously affected her health but you made that quarrel up not for three weeks then she gave in instead of my going to her she came to me and offered to renew the engagement if i would withdraw my which you did gladly of course i took a night to think of it you who are not an artist cannot conceive how i loved my did i tell you that i had printed beneath them yours very sincerely jolly little jim however i did yield to her wishes and we were to be married at is it a when a terrible thing happened we have now come to the turning point of my life at sir i made my last appearance on the stage mr turned his face from me until he recovered command of it then he resumed two days before the marriage was to take place a paper her and praised me it said miss o ought to take a page out of mr s book she should learn from him that the action should suit the word not it she should note his expression which is comedy in picture and control her own tendency to let her face look after itself she should take note of his clear and model her somewhat delivery on it sir i read that notice with mixed feelings as an artist i could not but delight in its complimentary to myself but as a lover i dreaded its effect on the o after breakfast i went to call on is it a her at her lodgings and happening to pass a number of news shops on the way i could not resist the temptation to buy at each a paper with the notice i concealed the papers about my person and as i approached her door i tried to look downcast but i fear my was perhaps she saw me from her window at all events her landlady informed me that miss o declined to see me here is something i was told to give you said the woman handing me a box it contained the ring i compelled the o to listen to me that night at the theatre and she allowed that i was not to blame for the notice but she pointed out that there could be no chance of happiness for a husband and wife whose interests were opposed and i saw that it was true i walked about the streets of all that night such was my misery such the struggle in my breast between love and fame well sir love conquered as it is it a never could have conquered her for she was a great artist and i only a small one though the said of me the irresistibly droll mr better known as the play will end in a minute i said how did you win her i offered he replied with emotion to give up my profession and devote myself to her fame and to live on her i said aghast you who do not understand art may put it in that way he replied but she realized the sacrifice i was making for her sake and doubted my love no longer was it nothing sir to give up my fame to give up the name i was known by all over england as the chat said and sink to the level of those who have never been mentioned in the papers why you yourself had forgotten the famous jolly little jim his voice was mournful and is it a i felt that i really had been listening to a love romance the last three hours too had shown me that mr was responsible for some of the fame of his wife the management he went on bravely allowed me to retire without the usual fortnight s notice and so the marriage took place on the day we had previously arranged it for had you a pleasant i asked in one sense he replied we had no for she played that night as usual but in another sense it has been a ever since	45
for we have the same interests the same joys the same sorrows that is to say you have both only her fame to think of now may i ask did she for whom you made such a sacrifice make any sacrifice for you she did indeed he answered for four is it a weeks she let her name be printed in the bills thus miss o mrs james though to have it known by the public that she is married is against an and you are happy in your new occupation yery happy he answered cheerfully and very proud then with a heavy sigh he added but i wish people would remember jolly little jim there was really something pathetic about the man but before i could tell a lie and say that i now remembered jolly little jim perfectly the audience began to and mr thrusting some bills into my hands hurried back to the to shout o as i have said i never met him again nor thought of him until i found myself at his grave this is the inscription on the is it a erected to the memory of james aged by his wipe the famous may o of the principal theatres poor mr there was something about him the o might have put on the better known as jolly little jim it would have gratified him the golden rule by i the breakfast room in the at was one of the most cheerful rooms you can imagine especially at the hour and the meal to which it was devoted it got all the morning sun and on a warm morning in may when the with which the lawn was surrounded were in full bloom and the pretty breakfast table was adorned as all tables are nowadays with the flowers of the season golden and brown with the dew still on them gathered making a glow of colour among the white china and filling the room with fragrance you could not the golden rule r i i ii have seen a pleasanter place and the family gathered round the table was in every way suited to the place first the sixty hale and hearty with white hair which was exceedingly becoming to him and a fine country colour speaking of fresh air and much exercise second his wife mrs ten years younger very well preserved who had been a handsome woman in her day and third not perhaps to be described in these words but yet a young woman whose looks were not to be despised and who would have been an important member of any household in which she had found herself it was a special providence mrs believed all things considered that up to this moment her father s house had pleased her more than any other and that no had carried her away for it need scarcely be said that in this pleasant house everything was not pleasant had all been well with them the historian the golden rule would have had nothing to tell from whence no doubt comes the saying whether appropriated to countries or to wives that those are the happiest of whom there is nothing to be said the post had come in just before the moment at which this episode in their lives opens and the ladies as was natural had thrown themselves upon their letters the for his part had opened his newspaper which is the natural division i do not say of labour in the circumstances for at sixty a man and especially a clergyman gets a little indifferent about his correspondence which is generally more a trouble than a pleasure whereas a woman s interest in her letters even when they are about nothing in particular never fails this morning however there was some special interest which made even the s in his newspaper a little when mrs and her daughter took the golden rule up the letters thej both in one breath exclaimed jack throwing aside the other of their correspondence as if they mattered less than nothing when he heard that exclamation the looked up from his paper and said well sharply looking from one to another but receiving no reply after a moment s interval returned or seemed to return to his reading he knew by long experience that jack s letters generally meant some scrape or other and he was relieved when he got no answer but still i think his newspaper for the moment was more or less a pretence jack was not a son appropriate to a he was not of the kind of those who are their father s favourite and their mother s joy how it is that this comes to pass who can tell with everything to lead him to do well every tradition and habit of life in his favour he had not done well he should have been ready to the golden rule step into the in his father s place for it was a sort of family living securing many good things to the fortunate but it was soon found that this was out of the question not in the way which is most respectable and even superior nowadays a young man to the interest and admiration of everybody that of religious doubts and scruples but in a more vulgar way which nobody s interest he had not managed even to take his degree he had done nothing that he ought to have done and instead of being in orders or at the bar or a fellow of his college all which would have been things reasonable and to be expected he was in a merchant s ofl ce in london sadly against his will and against all the of his family but what was he then to do jack had nothing to suggest what he would have liked would have	45
a nice wife who had sense if it were ever the golden rule possible that he could be able to marry would be the saving of jack ah yes said mrs if he could have had an income to marry on an income of his own but if the money is all on the woman s side and a father to look after her to tie it up oh it isn t that i am for money though i see the great great advantage but would she take all the trouble with him if it was like that she would love to take the trouble said could she be happy if he were not happy and right she added in an the glanced over the letter while this conversation was going on he did not read it line by line but jumped at the meaning having had it already explained to him and for a moment his heart rose lightly in his breast to have jack provided for suddenly made independent no longer a trouble and the golden rule anxiety to everybody belonging to him but with a home an income a keeper so to speak of his own the s heart gave a leap of relief and delight no more responsibility it would be his wife s business to look after him and nobody could do that as well as a wife and then the money even without the money if there had been any chance that jack could ever have enough to live upon they had all been agreed that a wife might be the making of him that meant i fear that she poor soul the wife would take the anxiety off the shoulders of his parents that she would put herself between jack and harm and perhaps cure him and bring him right a thing which it is known women have undertaken to do and have done and made life possible before now this was an they had all breathed never expecting however that it would come to pass and to see it suddenly realized and with the golden rule money added that would make it all the more sure a beautiful vision rose before the s mind of a time when there would be no anxiety about jack no to send him no dreadful news of dismissal to be looked for or any other anxiety of that kind no call upon every available penny to make up for some but peace and happiness and some one to watch over him wherever he went the money indeed was a great thing but the guardian the companion the some one to watch over him that was the thing of all but then the put down the letter and those which had so relaxed and been sensible of the happiest and ease all at once again he put his elbows on the table and his face in his hands the ladies were silent thinking that he was thanking but when he looked up after that pause his face was not the face the golden rule of a man by the old lines were all drawn again round his anxious eyes jane he said and yon listen to me we talk every day don t we about doing to our neighbours as we would that our neighbours should do to us surely said mrs a little dismayed though she scarcely knew why for to have her assent required to such a proposition at such a moment was the strangest thing in the world the s ruddy countenance had grown quite pale if a man should come asking to marry and his people concealed necessary facts from us hoping she would be the saving of him then there passed a dreadful moment of silence in that glowing room so bright with sunshine the three looked in each other s the golden rule faces they were as if they had been struck dumb oh charles charles said mrs and began to cry oh papa it was a name she still sometimes called him in kindness for the children s father said faltering in such cases people judge for themselves they hate any one who as you would that men should do unto you do you also unto them the replied if it was my case she cried colouring high i should not eve a word oh papa repeated his wife papa you will not say anything your own son and perhaps the only hope father if he was responsible for a woman s happiness he has never had any responsibility and if he loses her as he says and he always had the kindest heart cried mrs among her tears the golden rule get me the time table said the at least they must judge for themselves i am going to town by the next train ii the was asked into a handsome room in a hotel somewhere in he had got the address from jack who gave it with suspicion and reluctance not knowing what his father could mean or what he wanted dashing up to town like this do you mean to tell me you re engaged to miss the said why yes of course we are engaged should i have written to the about it do you think if it hadn t been true but you never believe a word i say jack answered with a certain defiance i believe this jack since you say it to the golden rule my face does this girl know anything about you this girl you might be more civil to my of course she knows everything she has any call to know about me and she has a father she has a father said jack beginning to feel there was trouble in the air it is right that he and i should talk the matter over said the if it s	45
about money said jack more and more alarmed they know i ve got no money there is no use entering upon that there is use in entering upon a great many things the said father what do you mean you are not going to you don t mean to spoil my chance cried the young man the only chance i ever may have in my life the said nothing he gave his boy a look that silenced jack when had his y the golden rule father spoiled a chance or taken a hope away from him but there was nothing more to be said to him now it was a handsome room for a room in a hotel being the best and in the corner near the great window which commanded a glimpse of there was seated a young lady alone a tall girl with fair hair upon her forehead an and a clear cut imperious face there is something a little something peculiar in the american mouth heaven knows all our mouths are in all nations it is the feature everywhere in france they say it of the english whose long teeth are a frequent subject of mockery but the american mouth has a character specially its own it is a little harsh the merest trifle in the world nay too slight for any such decided expression let us say with the under lip the least in the world beyond its fellow the golden rule her lips were thin except the one was next the chin but on the other hand that is too complimentary for the was as thin as the other only put forward a hair s breadth it is the result i suppose in the young feminine subject of having things too much her own way she was looking at the s card which he had sent up when he entered the room and she said with a little start but without rising mr goodness you are jack s papa yes i am jack s papa said the half astonished half confused half nay not half for three cannot be but the very least bit amused he took the hand she held out to him and held it for a moment she looked a creature who might do this thing imperious not hesitating or counting the cost whatever she might take into her head the golden rule and you also have a papa said the yes i suppose jack has told you all about us how we met him and how we did this bold thing and came after him here he did not say you had come him i should have been very angry if he had why it is quite true i liked him i don t feel the least ashamed better than any man i have seen and i thought perhaps it was the money kept him back you are so poor in this country why are you so poor so we came after him papa and was papa aware of of what i may call the object of the journey said the not knowing whether to laugh out which perhaps she would not have liked or what to do oh said this young lady i never anything from papa he is not in i fear said the yes he is in do you want him tell me the golden rule first before i let you see him what are you going to tell him about jack my dear young lady the two fathers must certainly be permitted to talk such a matter over no said the girl unless you tell me first what you are going to tell him about jack i am going to speak to him very seriously said the it is a very serious thing to confide the happiness of a girl like you to a young man you scarcely know oh she said that s taking it the wrong way about confiding his happiness to me you mean oh i am not at all afraid i ll make him happy you need not make yourself miserable about that the pressed his hat a hat which had a as somebody has said a sort of in it for he was a rural dean whatever that may be between his hands the girl s eyes were fixed upon that little symbol of the golden rule rank she interrupted him before he could say any more what is that for that thing in your hat you are perfectly delightful for a papa in law you make me more and more satisfied that i came my dear said the feeling that his virtue was stealing away from him under these i must see your father why she said i am sure i will do better it is i that am to marry jack and not father i ll hear what you have got to say i called on mr he said more and more anxiously permit me to ring and ask if he is in the hotel oh he is in the next room she said but he would not come in of course when he heard i was talking to somebody father she said raising her voice a door opened and a tall man put in hia head do you want me he said the golden rule i don t want you but here is a gentleman who wants you it is mr papa jack s father i am happy to make your acquaintance sir said mr both father and daughter spoke with an accent which was extremely to the he had scarcely ever encountered any of their country folk before and he was extremely curious about them and would had his mind been less deeply engaged have been greatly amused and delighted with their ways mr was clad very	45
solemnly in black and doubtless had other peculiarities besides his accent but the was not at sufficient ease to remark them i heard only this morning he said of the engagement if it is an engagement between your daughter and my son jack and i came up to town instantly to see you the golden rule if it is an engagement said miss with indignation well sir and have you any objection said the other father will you grant me an interview mr with pleasure isn t this an interview fire away said miss s papa the did not know what to say he sat still for a moment with the spirit gone out of him then he murmured almost with a tone i meant a private interview mr oh said the american i have no secrets from my here she s full of sense and always gives me her advice besides if it is anything about jack it is she that has the best right to hear the poor stared in the face of this man who being a man and his own contemporary ought surely to have understood the golden rule him he had thought that no man could have been more surprised than he had been this morning by the news of jack s engagement but he was more surprised now my dear sir he said it is impossible that i can say what i have to say in the presence of miss oh never mind me said the young lady he has come to tell you something against jack papa i ought to be here it will be more fair said mr it is just simply indispensable said his daughter the felt the obstinacy of despair come into his being he said this is a very serious matter i must talk to you alone for heaven s sake grant me ten minutes when your child s happiness is at stake it is not all such easy work such plain sailing as you seem to think father said miss if he tells you the golden rule jack has another wife living or anything of that sort promise me you ll not believe him she raised herself slowly from her seat no i ll not believe him without proof i shan t with volumes of proof but i ll go away though i consider it very and just like an englishman to treat a woman in this contemptuous way you said ten minutes mr i ll come back in ten minutes to hear what all this fuss is about the young lady retired accordingly she had a fine graceful figure and moved languidly swinging a little to one side and another as some tall people do and she went no further than to the next room where it would not have been to hear all that passed but one could not see that young person and suspect her of listening at a door well said mr out with it now is there another wife living i ll have to see all the papers before i ll believe that of jack the golden rule another wife cried the god bless my soul what can you be thinking of jack is not a villain then there is not another wife well that s a relief what was a man to think you re so dreadfully in earnest if it ain t that it s all right but it is not all right said the mr do you know my son has not a penny that is there will be a mere trifle when we are both dead his mother and i but she s young yet thank god stop a moment and he is only a clerk in my friend s office earning little and it breaks my heart to say deserving little an idle young dog more fond of pleasure than of work one can see as much as that having as you may say the pleasure of his acquaintance with half an eye and there is more behind said the very pale don t make me blame my own the golden rule boy more than i can help knows what it costs me to speak but i can t let the happiness of another young creature be thrown away meaning said mr she s pretty well able to look after that herself you re not feeling faint are you stop a moment i ve ot something handy here never mind said the waving him away never mind i m all right mr do you understand what i say can i say anything stronger to make you understand i dare not let you trust your daughter s happiness to jack without telling you here old man take this and sit down and keep quiet till you come to yourself and to tell the truth a mist was coming over the s eyes he laid his head back and the room seemed to be round him his heart was beating loud in his ears and the the golden rule tall figure standing before him with a glass in its hand seemed some kind of solemn demon tempting him to an unknown fate he swallowed what was given to him however and slowly came to himself the walls sinking into the perpendicular and the tall american in his black coat becoming once f more you want to know now i suppose said the other father how the young folks are to live i m pretty comfortably ofi and she s all i have in the world are you sure you understand me do you know what i mean said the in despair i know what you say fast enough but what you mean is beyond me unless it be to put a spoke in your son s wheel which is more than i can understand i ll allow the did not say a word	45
they would think it at home too that he had tried to put a the golden rule spoke in his son s wheel and jack would think it with more reason but he felt that he had not another word to say have you got anything more to tell me in this hole and corner way the other father asked the shook his head what does it matter what i have to say when you won t believe me he said then i reckon i may as well have her back here said mr and the door opened widely and the young lady sailed in well papa she said well this old gentleman wants us to understand that his son is a bad lot no money to speak of and deserves less is just good for nothing as far as i can make him out not fit to be trusted with your happiness he says father said miss who is talking of trusting jack with my happiness is it the o the golden rule woman that asks the man to make her happy or the man that asks the woman as a matter of fact it s the man but i don t know that it always holds good i must allow there is a doubt on that there is no doubt in my mind said the young lady jack s happiness is going to be trusted to me and take care of it if mr has any objection to me he has got a right to say it i ain t quite so clear of that said mr jack s of age he s a man and he has a right to choose for himself the old gentleman has no call to have any voice in it now the had gone on for a long time hearing himself called the old gentleman and had borne it though at sixty when a man is well and strong it is an which he feels to be half ludicrous and half injurious but at last the moment had come when he could bear no more the golden rule the old gentleman he said as you call me has no desire to have a on his son s choice you are a very pretty young lady and charming i am sure but i don t know what are your other qualities miss you must excuse me if i go now for i have said everything i have to say go cried the without even having your luncheon you who are going to be my papa in law or a drink said her father yes i had to give him a drink or he would have fainted on my hands sir if i must not call you an old gentleman i m a great one for knowing motives what was your meaning in coming here to day his meaning of course was to make acquaintance with me papa and see what sort of girl i was let alone with your talk for one short moment and let him speak o the golden rule the stood up and would have gone away if he could but the tall black figure opposite barred the way and demanded an answer and indeed the answer was hard to give for a man somehow finds it very hard to say that he has done anything whatever it may be simply from the highest motive of all the felt this deeply though he was an old gentleman and though to be religious was as you may say his profession he was often not at all abashed to a mean motive but when you think of it it requires a great deal of courage to claim to be carrying out the charge of the gospel when he spoke his voice faltered and his ruddy old face was like a rose sir he replied without knowing it the style of his i have been preaching all my life what my master said whatsoever you would that men should do unto you do ye also unto them there was a little pause in the room and the golden rule though the rattle of the carriages in the streets and the sound of the men with the flowers calling all a blowing and a growing came in very distinctly yet the effect was as if you could have heard a pin fall the held his breath for a time that is to say even miss though she was not quite clear what it was all about did not say a word at last that gentleman s jack s father said mr slowly i m not in the running with the likes of him if you don t train that fellow up to do his father credit i ll never believe in you again i will papa said the girl as if she were making a vow jack strolled in in the afternoon very carefully dressed with a flower in his coat but with much trouble in his mind why did his father come up to town so suddenly what was it he was so anxious to say the the golden rule young man s conscience told him pretty clearly what it was and he went to the hotel to fulfil his engagement with his expecting little but to be met by her father and sent the golden rule z about his business as the result of what his own father had said but no such reception awaited him he found miss in her prettiest waiting for him and oh jack said that young lady there has been the sweetest old gentleman here with a button in his hat saying all sorts of things about you he said you were not fit to be trusted with my happiness and i said no but i was to be trusted with yours and we are going down	45
to the to stay do you hear to stay and make acquaintance with everything and papa has fallen deep in love with him and you are to behave sir like a saint or an angel or i will lose all my credit with everybody from this day the went home i need not say with a load lifted from his heart he had delivered his soul and yet he had not injured jack but that was because the people whom he had the golden rule warned in the discharge of his duty were such people as never were they know everything at least he said to his wife and who met him with much anxiety at the gate both of them looking ten years older i have not concealed anything from them but how it will all end god knows general s will by grant i three girls had always been brought up to expect we would come into s money but there poor dear though he was the very sweetest old man that ever lived was stuck as full of prejudices all over as a is stuck full of he literally with them he was always up at some unexpected point and what was worse his family had almost every one of them managed to annoy him by running counter to his pet for no better reason on earth than just because they wanted to general s will marry the men or women they loved themselves instead of marrying the people poor in his wisdom would have chosen to select for them it was really a most general s will affair all round one would say a couldn t manage to fall in love with anybody anywhere without treading on one of poor dear s very tenderest there was aunt for example she married an a very nice man to be sure and a or something at that but somehow dear never could abide him he was military to the core was with a fine old british dislike of which was his brief description for foreigners in general a pretty thing he used to say this marrying of people in an enemy s service why any day a european war might happen to break out in which case we might be compelled to take sides against though it doesn t look likely i must confess and then where would be why we should all be fighting against our own brothers in law and i general s will sons in law preposterous absurd depend upon it my dear he used to say to me my front hair with his gentle old hand for he was a dear old man mind you in spite of his prejudices depend upon it an s business is to marry an englishman a fine young fellow and make him happy what husband can you see among all those foreigners to equal a british soldier an and a gentleman for poor s ideas never travelled one inch outside the army list that any girl of his could care to marry a for example or a or an artist or a doctor was a notion that never even so much as occurred to his dear old military head as for one moment possible then there was aunt she married a that was a harder blow still to poor for he hated the scotch and general s will he hated the and he hated lawyers and he hated and aunt s husband was a member of the general assembly and a writer to the never quite grasped what the was or why any one should write to it but he always alluded to mr s profession with bitter contempt there are no such things as writers to the in england i believe and considered everything un english as too barbarous and low for his mind to dwell upon but poor dear aunt had the worst luck of all she married a jew who was a member of the stock exchange that cut poor to the very quick for mr da wasn t at all he was six feet two and as handsome as a s model never could bear even to mention aunt s name to us though he was very kind and good to her and i general s will to mr da too and when he died he left her ten thousand pounds the same sum he left to his other daughters as a slight token he said in his will of christian forgiveness twas a very hard hut poor it with resignation he was accustomed to he said for one arm was my father however who was a colonel of rejoiced the general s heart hy marrying as he ought an and a member of the church of england and though dear never quite forgave us for being girls instead of boys he was very proud and fond of us and loved to contrast us very much to our advantage with those little and that raw young for he never so much as to allude in any way to poor little curly headed da so when in course of time dear general s will died and his will was opened we were not at all surprised to find he left a comparatively small sum to papa and twenty thousand pounds apiece to his beloved grand daughters and but there was a condition attached a condition so awfully like dear provided always the will went on in each case my said grand daughter from marrying any of the three persons following to wit an alien whether or otherwise that is to say any man who is not a natural born subject of her majesty queen victoria secondly a that is to say a member of the established church of scotland or j a sworn of the city of london and in case	45
my said for example should break this and marry any of the persons so then and in that case i will and devise that she shall all claim to the general s will said sum of twenty thousand pounds three per cent standing in the name of my said which sum shall thereafter be divided into two equal of ten thousand pounds each whereof my shall pay over one to my grand daughter and the other to my grand daughter for their own sole use and benefit papa read the will over to us a few days after poor s funeral and explained what it meant in plain english for of course we girls couldn t understand just at first all the legal however we knew at any rate we were now in a small way and papa put it clearly to us that as we had no mother i forgot to say she died when i was five years old we must be very careful on our general s will own account not to let ourselves get entangled in foolish engagements with interested we must avoid young men who made themselves agreeable to us but above all he insisted since poor had willed it so we must take particular notice not to fall in love whatever might happen with foreigners or members of the stock exchange that was easy enough to promise i thought for being s grand daughter you see i hate i the scotch and i simply and solely city men so i made up my mind that whatever the others did i at least would keep a good hold over my own twenty thousand letting and in their various romantic ways behave as they might with their separate portions half an hour after papa had finished explaining the position to us however i was sitting in my own room making day dreams after my general s will fashion when suddenly there came a nervous little knock at the door and to my great surprise enter excited i could see at a glance the poor girl was very much about something for her face was pale and her eyes were red besides which she instantly turned the key in the door in a most resolute way and herself upon the bed as if her heart was breaking though was four years older than me she always came to me in all her troubles oh she cried between her sobs this is too too dreadful i ve been leading him to suppose for months that well that if anything was ever to happen to poor dear he and i could be married and now this hateful hateful will i can t bear it i can t endure it how can i ever tell him i was utterly taken by surprise i didn t know who she meant i could hardly believe general s will my ears engaged to somebody for months before and me never to have observed it never even to have suspected who on earth she was speaking of this was almost incredible i exclaimed bewildered why who s he i haven t the remotest notion who it is you re talking about raised her head open mouthed and gazed across at me half incredulous you don t mean to say dear she cried with a sort of of surprise you ve never even noticed it never dearest i answered sincerely holding her hand and it who is it mr for he was really the only of our acquaintance i could remember at the moment as at all a likely person for to fall in love with mr repeated mr indeed well general s will really i do think you might give me credit for better taste than that no it isn t mr i wouldn t for worlds say a word about it to she d be so unkind and she never cared for him but i can trust you dear i m sure you re always so sympathetic and i just must tell somebody well for eight months past i wonder you never guessed it i ve been engaged quite quietly to only on poor s account both and i thought it was better for the present to say nothing about it before i could answer there came a knock at the door again and i heard s voice saying in a very cold despairing way let me in please i want to speak at once with you started up with a perfectly tragic air oh send her away dear she cried in a low tremulous tone if she were to find out general s will what i was saying i could never never never marry poor you can t come in just now i answered going over to the door and speaking through the i m i m writing letters but that was a i hope and trust a harmless one come back again in half an hour there s a dear and i ll accept your confidences and i went over to the bed once more and tried my best to soothe down why what s the matter i asked leaning over her and wiping her eyes with poor mr he isn t a german and he isn t a he isn t a and he isn t a why on earth should poor s will interfere with you in any way i understood mr was some sort of a writing person a don t they call it and poor though his prejudices were sufficiently comprehensive general s will never made any express against the literature of our country but began to cry again even more bitterly than before yes s a newspaper man she said through her tears he s on the european edition of the new york and he s been brought up in england and he s	45
as english in every way as you or i are and he only about three hundred a year and he couldn t marry on that but the dreadful thing of it all is this he s an american citizen and he s never been i my lips it was clear at once this was a hopeless case there was nothing for it but to comfort her and with her and i comforted her with all the consolation in my power as far as was concerned i said my share in her twenty thousand pounds but at that poor grew absolutely hysterical it was with i her down by ee general s will degrees and got lier off at last to her own room to write a ten page letter on the subject to iii the moment she was gone who had evidently been listening at her own door to hear mine open and let out came sweep ing iu like a in distress pale and calm but profoundly miserable she seated herself with great dignity in the easy chair folded her hands in front of her like a marble statue and stared at me for several minutes in solemn silence well this is a dreadful thing she said at last with an evident effort about poor s will i m sure i don t know how on earth after this crushing blow i shall ever have the courage to face him and tell him general s will tell who tell him what i exclaimed bewildered once more for i certainly never suspected such a cold creature as of being in love with anybody gazed back at me with the tranquillity of utter despair don t pretend you don t know she cried in a very voice it isn t any use you must have noticed it not mr i cried perhaps just a trifle the curl of s lip would have been a study for well really she said up at a moment like this you might at least spare mo from positive insult mr indeed that affected idiot t should be very hard up for a lover fm sure if i allowed mr to presume upon proposing to me but you surely must know you can t possibly have overlooked it i there s only one man on general s will earth td ever dream of accepting i wouldn t tell for worlds s so sympathetic but you re always kind i don t mind it in this crisis to you for it h a crisis i ve been engaged for six weeks past to but he can join the church of england i said coolly for i m afraid i must confess being a worldly creature didn t think the difference worth losing a wife for no no my dear he can t answered with an air of resignation that s just the worst of it his father s something or other in the high legal way to the general assembly or what not and s agent for the legal business in london if he were to give up the he d lose his place and his father might too for it would be quite a scandal in and he s only a junior partner and he s too poor to marry but i ll wait for him for ever or no general s will and i ll marry him when i choose and ru give up everything on earth for him and you and are welcome to your money i m sure for i mean to marry if he hasn t a ha penny i couldn t have believed it of but i rushed up to her and kissed her she sat there for half an hour as cold as ice and then went oflf in turn to write the news to and as soon as she was gone i sat down and cried a little by myself for both of them but i must confess i reflected with pride that the whole episode did the family credit i was glad the two girls should have made up their mind to marry poor men when they might have gone in if they wished for position or money and i made up my mind at the same time that i at least would avoid the very first approach of and members of the stock exchange it s so very much easier not to fall in love at first general s will than having fallen in love once to fall out again comfortably iv for the next few weeks life was a burden to me i lived in a perpetual state of receiving alternate confidences from and and endeavouring to conceal from each the other s position this was distinctly hard but i pulled it through somehow and i applauded each in turn in her firm resolution that come what might she would never give up her or her fortunately i myself was not engaged was i was in a position i thought to give a wide berth now to all classes of men expressly included in poor s however it was only about six weeks later general s will that i met at the a most charming young man who really paid me a great deal of attention i liked him from the very first though i pretended i didn t his name was and he was a struggling artist now artists had always for me a certain romantic interest and do you know it may be silly of me but somehow i never could bear to marry a man unless he were struggling i can t say why but well to do men always did me they put my back up i hate their self satisfied air and i love the so to speak of the struggling classes men who work for their living are always more real to	45
with you to help me i m sure i can earn enough for both of us it was only that horrid horrid shadow that stood between us i knew he was right so i stood still and allowed him two minutes later mrs came in upon us i suppose i looked horribly flushed and but i understood i was engaged to arthur general s will v next day i made a clean breast of it all to she listened in silence in that calm cold way of hers then she took my hand in hers and to my immense surprise kissed me most affectionately she said with a burst i always knew you were a brick i knew you d follow the guidance of your own heart but s so different shell never fall in love you may be sure with any one on earth who could possibly come under poor s she s absolutely in the astonishment of the moment i out the whole truth why i exclaimed you re awfully unjust to her she s in love already and with an american too an alien a foreigner well there mr general s will it was a shocking breach of confidence i admit and the moment i d let the words pass my lips i regretted it bitterly but drew back like one stung then she jumped up with a sudden air of resolve if that s so she said quickly in quite a hopeful tone i must see immediately will tell us he s so clever is i see a way out i think but you re quite sure of this thing about are you as certain as i am about you and mr i replied all bewildered though i don t see what difference that can possibly make to you and me dear instead of answering looked at me hard once more in her calmly contemptuous way had always a very low opinion of my humble intellect then she rose at once and swept out of the room with her train behind her leaving me in utter wonder as to what on earth she could be driving at general s will that very afternoon as soon as lunch was finished asked and myself to go out for a stroll in g from the way she asked it we saw at once she had something definite in view and though was the eldest when asked us in her grand manner to go anywhere or do anything we other two girls would as soon have of refusing to obey her as of refusing to obey a judge in so we followed her blindly through palace gardens and past the round pond and along the path to the seat under the trees by the memorial as we reached the seat somebody got up and raised his hat to greet us he was expecting us clearly i saw at a glance it was mr took his hand in hers without a gleam of recognition yet i could see he held it a little bit longer than was absolutely necessary you got my note then she said in her com i general s will voice and youve looked tliis matter up for us yes mr answered just a trifle confused and glancing from her to me and oh never mind the girls said quietly with a little wave of her hand they re all in the same box you see they won t turn back upon us tell us quite plainly what the law is in the matter well ive consulted the will mr replied drawing an envelope from his pocket and consulted the authorities and the result is i find that if your sister mr oh how could you cried turning towards me one red flush and drawing back several paces in a tragic attitude but mr took no notice of her and if your sister mr he went on and if finally you general s will marry me why then according to your grandfather s will which the courts would certainly in every particular your sister s share must be divided equally between you aud your sister s share must be divided equally between you and and your share must be divided equally between the other two so you see it out each of you ll get just the same in the end and all will come square as if there were no said emphatically moving back a step and surveying him from head to foot with supreme satisfaction i call you a daniel come to judgment yea a daniel this is just delightful and what s more mr went on looking from one of us to the other the arrangement would in every way be a most satisfactory one for the original are left under trust and subject to many most general s will while the by a singular are absolute and for your own sole use and benefit girls said triumphantly you hear him this is capital do you agree to marry and make this certainly i answered without an instant s hesitation and so will you as soon as you ve had time to make out what it s all driving at i never saw a man more astonished in my life than poor dear papa when we explained to him the decision at which we d all arrived and i never saw a man more either than arthur when he found out that he d have to take me after all with a fortune of twenty thousand pounds which he d never expected it lost him such a chance of romantic poverty with the girl he loved that i really believe if he hadn t been very much in love with me indeed he d have thrown general s will me overboard at once and started afresh in quest of a but lie managed to put up with it for	45
my sake he said and you can see me as his in this year s town and country library published semi monthly i he steel hammer by louis eve a novel by s for fifteen years a to the steel hammer by a counsel of perfection a novel by ttie a romance by hall a virginia inheritance by an of by the author of v ra the right honourable a romance of society and politics by and mrs the silence of dean by mrs a study in black and white by l he lady by george mystery of the ocean by w aristocracy a novel a vengeance by frank with illustrations ttie secret of la by margaret field tlie master of by smart a modem englishman by cheap edition this mortal by grant fair by the a romance by or in by johnson the a romance of the primitive church cheap edition and rival by we two by cheap edition a of dreams by the author of the ladies y by m p and mrs camp bell the reproach of by grey near to happiness in the wire by louis lace a romance by paul american coin a novel by the author of aristocracy won by waiting by l he story of by violet ie light of her countenance by h h mistress cope or passages in the life of a c daughter by m e le the knight by in the golden days by or the curse of love by george a hardy by ie romance of and sketches of life by w town and country continued slave by richard the of mary by translated from the german of blind love by the daughter by f f a romance of life by j robert a i shorter poems frozen hearts by g the by a g ton ihe of christian by henry lai by a m d cheap edition a novel by henry a dutch story by of by george alfred a by sea well by the author of aristocracy by t s a romance of old russia by f w m a part of the property by in private life by a fellow student n ta w relief by the of old an historical romance by a squire of low degree by lily a long a fluttered by george the of an irish story by a sensitive plant by e and d by don translated by mrs mary j by don translated by mrs j the and their neighbors tales of middle by richard the iron game by henry f stories of old new spain by thomas a the maid of by hon in the heart of the storm by grey by castle the three miss kings by cambridge a matter of skill by maid and other stories by sea well one woman s way by a merciful divorce by f w daughter by mrs j h one reason why by the tragedy of noble by w the stage and other stories by robert h a indeed by and elizabeth the flight of the shadow by george love or money by lee town and country y not all in vain by cambridge it happened yesterday by my guardian by cambridge the start of philip by mrs j h the story of a beauty by r don by translated by bell he of mr by richard m a queen of and cream by and others by castle december roses by mrs de by s vow by cross currents by mary a his by passing the love of women by mrs j h in old st s by ie and their neighbors by medical student by mrs by a on the threshold by james hanging moss by paul a comedy of by christian in the of her youth by stories in black and while by thomas hardy and others an englishman in paris notes and recollections commander by dr s theory by mrs a m children of destiny by a little by cambridge s by hall the voice of a flower by e singularly by the author of suspected by and another by mrs j h s secret r by victor from the five rivers by mrs f a an innocent and other by grey by grand each mo paper cents cloth and new york d co i p bond street t d co s books by he simple adventures of a by with illustrations by f h i cloth tt is impossible for to be otherwise than interesting whether it be a voyage around the or an american girl s experiences in london society or the adventures to the establishment of a youthful couple ia india there is always an atmosphere a quality a charm peculiarly her own standard it is like without leaving one s to read it miss has die descriptive and narrative gift in large measure and she brings vividly before us the street scenes the the queer natives the of the english colony r another witty and delightful times a social departure how and i went round the world by ourselves by with iii illustrations by f h i mo paper cents cloth widely read and praised on both sides of the atlantic and pacific with scores of illustrations which fit the text exactly and show the mind of artist and writer in new york evening post it is to be doubted whether another book can be found so thoroughly amusing beginning to end boston daily for sparkling wit irresistibly fun keen observation absolutely poetic appreciation of beauty and vivid it has no recent rival mrs p t s letter to the new york a brighter more entirely charming book would be indeed difficult to find louis republic a n american girl in london by with illustrations by f h i mo paper cents cloth one of the most and entertaining books of the season new york	45
observer the and which made a social departure by the same author last season the best read and most talked of book of travel for many a year the new book and appear between the of every standard union so a book as this on life in london as observed by an american has never before been written philadelphia with and good will new york commercial we shall not interfere with the reader s privilege to find out for what after her at court and narrow escape from s in england becomes of die american who is the gay theme of the book sure we are that no one who takes up the volume which by the way is will lay it down until his or her mind is at rest on this point mail new york d co i bond street m d co s ii any inventions by containing fourteen stories several of which are now published for the first time and two poems i mo pages cloth the reader turns from its pages with die conviction that the author has no superior to day in animated narrative and of style he remains master of a power in which none of his approach him the ability to select out of countless details the few vital ones which create the finished picture he knows how with a phrase or a word to make you see his characters as he sees them to make you feel the full meaning of a dramatic situation new york many inventions will confirm mr s reputation we would with pleasure sentences from almost every page and extract incidents from almost every story but to what end here is the book that mr has yet given us m the and most humane in breadth of view mai mr s powers as a story are evidently not we advise everybody to buy many inventions and to profit by some of the best entertainment that modem fiction has to offer new york sun many inventions will be welcomed wherever the english language is spoken every one of the stories bears the of a master who up incident as if by magic and who character and feeling with an ease which is only exceeded by the boldness on globe the book will get and hold the attention of the a mr s place in the world of letters is unique he sits quite aloof and alone the and master of the exquisitely fine art of writing mr robert louis has perhaps written several tales which match the run of mr s work but the best of mr s tales are and his latest collection many inventions contains several s i philadelphia press of late essays in fiction the work of can be compared to only three s s sketch of in the new nights and thomas hardy s of the d it is probably owing to this extreme care that many inventions is undoubtedly mr s best book post mr s style is too well known to american readers to require introduction but it can scarcely be amiss to say there is not a story in this collection that does not more than repay a perusal of them all american as a writer of short stories is a genius he has had but they have not been successful in the of his achievements by contrast many inventions is the title and they are entirely original in incident ingenious in plot and startling by their boldness and force herald how clever he is this must always be the first thought on reading such a collection of s stories here is art art of the most sort compared with this the stories of our brightest young writers become commonplace new york taking the group as a whole it may be said that the execution is up to his best in the past while two or three sketches in rounded strength and ot imagination anything else he has done fifteen more extraordinary sketches without a tinge of it would be hard to find every one has an of its own which th boston times new york d co i bond street d co s handy volumes of fiction each cloth with special design cents he translation of a savage by to tell such a story a man must have what i call the of literary gifts the power to of the good feeling and healthy wisdom of this little tale others no doubt have spoken and will speak but i have chosen this quality for praise because in this think mr has made the ce on his previous work indeed in he seems to be improving faster than any of the younger a t couch in the london spectator by translated by w h bishop the style is happy throughout the humorous parts being well calculated to bring smiles while we can hardly restrain our tears when the poor goes to that have a touch of pathos times union t ue riches by s delicate as an apple blossom with its limp cover of pale green and its stalk of golden rod is this little volume containing two stories by e the tales are told and their setting is an artistic delight the author scarcely had a thought of his readers each of these little stories presents a moral not easily overlooked and whose influence with those who read them a a truthful woman in southern by author of an abandoned farm etc the writer considers the of the glorious climate of and then she gives the decidedly the have it the book is and entertaining the descriptions have the true touch of vitality and i those who have read miss s book entitled an abandoned farm will look to her new	45
volume for vivacity and cheerful comment they will not be disappointed for the little book is from cover to cover outlook a border by author of a of the west etc we confess to a great liking for the tale mr tells there are of trouble ere the devoted lovers secure the tying of their love knot and mr describes them all with a flavor that is refreshing a y times a swift gay dramatic little tale which at once takes captive the reader s sympathy and holds it without difficulty to the end news and new york d co i bond street a co s good books for young readers on the old frontier j or the last of the by william o author of crowded out o little smoke the battle of new york etc illustrated by h d i mo cloth in this thrilling story mr is at his best he describes the of the in western new york which was the frontier of the last century the homely yet adventurous existence at hollow fort the of the their assemblage in the great council house and their final desperate a boy is the hero of the book and every american boy and girl should read it for its historical value as well as for its romantic interest y be bo of v co a story of the early years of washington by butter worth author of in the boyhood of the log school house on the the books etc illustrated by h w pierce i mo cloth mr s remarkable ability to write stories which are entertaining and at the same time informing has never been better illustrated than in this tale of the famous old house of court the home of lord washington s early patron it is a book full of picturesque incidents and legends of hunting exploits and adventures and the figure the young washington is shown in these pages in a light which will be sure to the interest of young readers s adventures by thomas y w author of the boy etc illustrated by w s i mo cloth john was a hero of the days when american sailors american ships and the ships went everywhere in spite of and hostile or englishmen he went to sea in the early part of the century and his adventures as an slave a man of war s man an intended victim of chinese and as a young hero in other stirring scenes almost the globe and enable the author to convey much information regarding strange people and countries and the history of times paul jones by au of little etc illustrated by h d and j o young heroes of the navy series i mo cloth paul jones the captain who sailed around the british and bade defiance to the entire british fleet is perhaps the most heroic figure in the naval history of the revolution and readers old and young will welcome this thrilling story of his exploits new york d co i bond street d s j he faith doctor by edward j author of the the circuit rider etc i mo cloth one of the novels of the union and the author of the has his reputation by this beautiful and touching study of the character of a girl to love whom proved a liberal education to both of her admirers london the faith doctor is reading for its style its wit and its humor and not less we may add for its pathos london spectator much skill is shown by the author in making these the basis of a novel of great interest one who tries to keep in the current of good novel reading must certainly find time to read the faith doctor an excellent piece of work with each new novel the author of the his audience and surprises old friends by reserve forces sterling integrity of character and high moral motives dr s fiction and assure its place in the literature of america which is to stand as a worthy of the best thoughts of this age new york world it is extremely fortunate that the fine subject indicated in the title should have fallen into such competent hands chronicle telegraph this story would alone be sufficient to place dr in the front rank of american writers of fiction the subject is treated with perfect fidelity and artistic th critic t a and o by author of consequences paper cents cloth the stories will be welcomed with a sense of refreshing by readers who have been by a too long succession of sweetness and familiar incident london a the author is gifted with a lively fancy and the clever plots he has devised gain greatly in interest thanks to the surroundings in which the action for the most part takes place london literary world eight stories all exhibiting notable originality in conception and mastery of art the first two them best they add a dramatic power that makes them both belong to the period when was most and its practice boston globe t by louis translated j from the dutch by j t with an introduction by holland fiction series i mo cloth i most careful in its details of description most in its boston post a and performance giving an evidently faithful picture of society and the art of a true story philadelphia telegraph the ment is thrilling and picturesque new york world new york d co i bond street d co s ii r b a book which no student of modem literature should fail to od s fool by author of w the sin of i mo cloth throughout there is an force which would make a less interesting story of human lives or one less told london saturday review perfectly	45
is anything in the handling to which exception can be taken like former productions of this pen the obscure is simply an endeavor to give shape and to a series of or personal impressions the question of their or their of their or their being regarded as not of the first moment t h august i contents part i page at i xi part ii at i vii part iii at i x part iv at i vi part v at and elsewhere i viii part vi at again i xi illustrations i i i ought not to be born ought i three young women were kneeling facing page see how he s served me she cried a knock brought him to the door stood up and began she looked into his eyes with her own tearful ones said a voice timidly there on the gravel lay a white heap her advent seemed ghostly a small slow voice rose from the shade of the fireside sue continued to tear the linen into at the mile stone il part i at yea many there be that have run out of their for women ana become servants for their many also have have and for women o ye men how can it be but women should be strong seeing they do thus i i the school master was leaving the village and everybody seemed sorry the miller at lent him the small white cart and horse to carry his goods to the city of his destination about twenty miles off such a vehicle proving of quite sufficient size for the departing teacher s effects for the school house had been partly furnished by the and the only article possessed by the master in addition to the packing case of books was a cottage piano that he had bought at an during the year in which he thought of learning music but the enthusiasm having he had never acquired any skill in playing and the purchased article had been a perpetual trouble to him ever since in moving house the had gone away for the day being a man who disliked the sight of changes he did not mean return till the evening when the new school teacher would have arrived and settled in and everything would be smooth again the blacksmith the farm and the school master himself were standing in perplexed attitudes in the parlor before the instrument the master had remarked that even if he got it into the cart he should not know what to do with it on his arrival at the city he was bound for since he was only going into temporary lodgings just at first a little boy of eleven who had been thoughtfully assisting in the packing joined the group of men and as they rubbed their he spoke up blushing at the sound the obscure of his own voice aunt got a great fuel house and it could be put there perhaps till you ve found a place to settle in sir a proper good notion said the blacksmith it was decided that a should wait on the boy s aunt an old maiden resident and ask her if she would house the piano till mr should send for it the smith and the started to see the of the suggested shelter and the boy and the were left standing alone sorry i am going asked the latter kindly tears rose into the boy s eyes for he was not among the regular day scholars who came close to the school master s life but one who had attended the night school only during the present teacher s term of office the regular scholars if the truth must be told stood at the present moment afar off like certain historic to any enthusiastic of aid the boy awkwardly opened the book he held in his hand which mr had bestowed on him as a parting gift and admitted that he was sorry so am i said mr why do you go sir asked the boy ah that would be a long story you wouldn t understand my reasons you will perhaps when you are older i think i should now sir well don t speak of this everywhere you know what a university is and a university degree it is the necessary hall mark of a man who wants to do anything in teaching my scheme or dream is to be a university and then to be ordained by going to live at or near it i shall be at so to speak and if my scheme is practicable at all i consider that being on the spot will afford me a better chance of carrying it out than i should have elsewhere at the smith and his companion returned old miss s fuel house was dry and eminently practicable and she seemed willing to give the instrument there it was accordingly left in the school till the evening when more hands would be available for removing it and the school master gave a final glance around the boy assisted in some small articles and at nine o clock mr mounted beside his box of books and other and bade his friends good bye i forget you he said smiling as the cart moved off be a good boy remember and be kind to animals and birds an d read all you can and ever you come to remember you hunt me out for old acquaintance sake the cart across the green and disappeared round the corner by the house the boy returned to the draw well at the edge of the where be had left his when he went to help his patron and teacher in the there was a quiver in his lip now and after opening the well cover to begin lowering the bucket he paused and leaned with his forehead and arms against	45
the frame work his face wearing the of a who has felt the of what before his time the well into which he was looking was as ancient as the village itself and from his present position appeared as a long circular perspective ending in a shining of quivering water at a distance of a hundred feet there was a of green moss near the top and nearer still the s tongue he said to himself in the tones of a boy that the school master had drawn at that well scores of times on a morning like this and would never draw there any more i ve seen him look down into it when he was tired with his drawing just as i do now and when he rested a bit before carrying the the obscure home but he was too clever to bide here any longer a small sleepy place like this a tear rolled from his eye into the depths of the well the morning was a little and the boy s breathing itself as a thicker fog upon the still and heavy air his thoughts were interrupted by a sudden bring on that water will ye you idle young it came from an old woman who had emerged from her door towards the garden gate of a green cottage not far off the boy quickly waved a signal of assent drew the water with what was a great effort for one of his stature landed and emptied the big bucket into his own pair of smaller and pausing a moment for breath started with them across the patch of whereon the well stood nearly in the centre of the little village or rather hamlet it was as old fashioned as it was small and it rested in the lap of an adjoining the north downs old as it was however the well shaft was probably the only of the local history that remained absolutely unchanged many of the and dwelling houses had been pulled down of late years and many trees on the green above all the original church backed wood and had been taken down and either cracked up into heaps of road metal in the lane or as pig walls garden seats guard stones to fences and in the flower beds of the neighborhood in place of it a tall new building of german design to english eyes had been erected on a new piece of ground by a certain of historic records who had run down from london and back in a day the site whereon so long had stood the ancient temple to the christian was not even recorded on the green and level grass plot that had been the churchyard the graves being by cast iron crosses to last five years ii slender as was s frame he bore the two house of water to the cottage without resting over the door was a little piece of blue board on which was painted in yellow letters baker within the little lead panes of the window this being one of the few old houses left were five bottles of sweets and three on a plate of the willow pattern while the at the back of the house he could hear an animated conversation in progress between hi s aunt the of the and some other villagers having seen the depart they were up particulars of the event and indulging in of his future and who s he asked one comparatively a stranger when the boy entered well ye ask it mrs he s my come since you was last this way the old who answered was a tall gaunt woman who spoke on the most trivial ct and gave a phrase of her each tor in turn re come from south about a year ago worse luck n turning to the right where his father was living and was took wi the for death and died in two days as you know turning to the left it would ha been a blessing if mighty had took thee too wi thy mother and father poor useless boy but i ve got him here to stay with me till i can see what s to be done with l the obscure un though i be obliged to let him earn any penny he can just now he s a of birds for farmer it keeps un out of why do ye turn away she continued as the boy feeling the of their glances like upon his face moved aside the local woman replied that it was perhaps a very good plan of miss or mrs s as they called her indifferently to have him with her to ee company in your loneliness fetch water the o nights and help in the bit o miss doubted it why didn t ye get the school master to take ee to wi un and make a scholar of ee she continued in frowning i m sure he couldn t ha took a better one the boy is crazy for books that he is it runs in our family rather his cousin sue is just the same so i ve heard but i have not seen the for years though she was born in this place within these four walls as it happened my niece and her husband after they were married didn get a house of their own for some year or more and then they only had one till well i won t go into that my don t ever marry t for the s to take that step any more she their only one was like a o my own till the split come ah that a little maid should know such changes finding the general attention again on himself went out to the where he ate the cake provided for his breakfast the end of	45
go home and never let him see him in one of those fields again leaped out of arm s reach and walked along the weeping not from the pain though that was keen enough not from the perception of the flaw in the scheme by which what was good for god s birds was bad for god s gardener but with the awful sense that he had wholly disgraced himself before he had been a year in the parish and hence might be a burden to his great aunt for life with this shadow on his mind he did not care to show himself in the village and went homeward by a round i the obscure f about track behind a high hedge and across a pasture here he beheld scores of coupled lying half their length on the surface of the damp ground as they always did in such weather at that time of the year it was impossible to advance in regular steps without crush some of them at each tread though farmer had just hurt him he was a boy who could not himself bear to hurt anything he had never brought home a nest of young without lying awake in misery half the night after and often them and the nest in their original place the next morning he could scarcely bear to see trees cut down or from a fancy that it hurt them and late when the sap was up and the tree had been a positive grief to him in his infancy this weakness of character as it may be called suggested that he was the sort of man who was born to ache a good deal before the fall of the curtain upon his unnecessary life should signify that all was well with him again he carefully picked his way on among the without killing a single one on entering the cottage he found his aunt selling a penny loaf to a little girl and when the customer was gone she said well how do you come to be back here in the middle of the morning like this i m turned away what mr have turned me away because i let the have a few of corn and there s my wages the last i shall ever he threw the sixpence on the table ah said his aunt her breath and she opened upon him a lecture on how she would now have him all the spring upon her hands doing nothing if you can t birds what can ye do there don t ye look so farmer is not so much better than myself come to that but tis as job said now a at i they that are younger than i have me in derision whose fathers i would have to have set with the dogs of my flock his father was my father s anyhow and i must have been a fool to let ee go to work for n which i shouldn t ha done but to keep ee out of more angry with for her by coming there than for of duty she him from that point of view and only from a moral one not that you should have let the birds eat what farmer planted of course you was wrong in that why t go off with that school master of thine to or somewhere but oh no poor or child there never was any on thy side of the family and never will be where is this beautiful city aunt this place where mr is gone to asked the boy after meditating in silence lord you ought to know where the city of is near a score of miles from here it is a place much too good for you ever to have much to do with poor boy i m a thinking and will mr always be there how can i tell couldn t i go to see him lord no you didn t grow up or you wouldn t ask such as that we ve never had anything to do with folk in nor folk in with we went out and feeling more than ever his existence to be an one he lay down upon his back on a heap of litter near the pig the fog had by this time become more and the position of the sun could be seen through it he led hi s straw hat over his face and peered through the of the at the white brightness vaguely reflecting the obscure growing up brought he found events did not rhyme quite as he had thought nature s logic was too horrid for him to care for th it mercy towards one set of creatures was cruelty towards another his sense of harmony as you got older and felt yourself to be at the centre time and not at a point in its as you had felt when you were little you were seized with a sort of shuddering he perceived all around you there seemed to be something glaring rattling and the noises and hit upon the little cell called your life and shook it and it if he could only prevent himself growing up he did want to be a man then like the natural boy he forgot his despondency and sprang up during the remainder of the morning he helped his aunt and in the afternoon when there was nothing more to be done he went into the village here he asked a man whereabouts lay oh well out by there yonder though i ve never bin there not i i ve never had any business at such a place the man pointed in the very direction where lay that field in which had so disgraced himself there was something unpleasant about the coincidence for the moment but the of this fact hither increased his curiosity about	45
the city the farmer had said he was never to be seen in that field again yet lay across it and the path was a public one so stealing out of the hamlet he descended into the same hollow which had witnessed his punishment in the morning never an inch from the path and climbing up the long and tedious ascent on the other side till the track joined the highway by a little of trees here the land ended and all before him was bleak open down ill not a soul was visible on the highway or on either side of it and the white road seemed to ascend and till it joined the sky at the very top it was crossed at right angles by a green the et and original roman road through the district this ancient track ran east and west for many miles and down almost to within living memory had been used for driving flocks and herds to and but it was now neglected and overgrown the boy had never before strayed so far north as this from the hamlet in which he had been deposited by the from a railway station southward one dark evening some few months earlier and till now he had had no suspicion that such a wide flat low lying country lay so near at hand under the very verge of his world the whole northern between east and west to a distance of forty or fifty miles spread itself before him a atmosphere evidently than that he breathed up here not far from the road stood a weather beaten old barn of gray brick and tile it was known as the brown house by the people of the locality he was about to pass it when he perceived a ladder against the and the reflection that the higher he got the further he could see led to stand and regard it on the slope of the roof two men were the he turned into the and drew towards the barn when he had wistfully watched the workmen for some l the obscure time he took courage and ascended the ladder till he stood beside them well my lad and what may you want up here i wanted to know where the city of is if you please is out across there by that you can see it at least you can on a clear day ah no you can t now the other glad of any kind of diversion from the monotony of his labor had also turned to look towards the quarter you can t often see it in weather like this he said the time i ve noticed it is when the sun is going down in a blaze of flame and it looks like i don t know what the heavenly suggested the serious ay though i should never ha thought of it myself but i can t see no to day the boy strained his eyes also yet neither could he see the far off city he descended from the barn and with the of his age he walked along the ridge track looking for any natural objects of interest that might lie in the banks when he the barn to go back to he observed that the ladder was still in its place but that the men had finished their day s work and gone away it was towards evening there was still a faint mist but it had cleared a little except in the tracts of country and along the river courses he thought again of and wished since he had come two or three miles from his aunt s house on purpose that he could have seen for once this attractive city of which he had been told but even if he waited here it was hardly likely that the air would clear before night yet he was to leave the spot for the northern expanse became lost to view on retreating towards the village only a few hundred yards t at ij he ascended the ladder to have one more look at the point the men had and perched himself on the highest rung the he might not be able to come so far as this for many days perhaps if he prayed the wish to see might be forwarded people said that if you prayed things sometimes came to you even though they sometimes did not he had read in a tract that a man who had begun to build a church and had no money to finish it knelt down and prayed and the money came in by the next post another man tried the same experiment and the money did not come but he found afterwards that the breeches he knelt in were made by a wicked jew this was not and turning on the ladder knelt on the third rung where resting against those above it he prayed that the mist might rise he then seated himself again and waited in the course of ten or fifteen minutes the mist dissolved altogether from the eastern horizon as it had already done elsewhere and about a quarter of an hour before the time of sunset the westward clouds parted the sun s position being partially uncovered and the beams streaming out in visible lines between two bars of cloud the boy immediately looked back in the old direction some way within the limits of the stretch of landscape points of light like the gleamed the air increased in with the lapse of minutes till the points showed themselves to be the windows wet roof and other shining spots upon the work and varied outlines that were faintly revealed it was unquestionably either directly seen or in the peculiar atmosphere the spectator gazed on and on till the windows and lost their shine going out almost suddenly like extinguished candles the vague city became	45
veiled in the obscure mist turning to the west he saw that the sun had disappeared the of the scene had grown dark and near objects put on the hues and shapes of he anxiously descended the ladder and started homeward at a run trying not to think of giants the hunter lying in wait for christian or of the captain with the bleeding hole in his forehead and the round him that every night on board the ship he knew that he had grown out of belief in these horrors yet he was glad when he saw the church tower and the lights in the cottage windows even though this was not the home of his birth and his did not care much about him inside and that old woman s shop window with its twenty four little panes set in lead work the glass of some of them with age so that you could hardly see the poor penny articles exhibited within and forming part of a stock which a strong man could have carried had his outer being for some long tide less time but his dreams were as gigantic as his sur x were small through the solid barrier of cold to the northward he was always beholding a gorgeous city the fancied place he had to the new though there was perhaps more of the painter s imagination and less of the diamond merchant s in his dreams thereof than in those of the writer and the city acquired a a a hold on his life mainly from the one of fact that the man for whose knowledge and purposes he had so much reverence was actually living there not only so but living among the more thoughtful and mentally shining ones therein in sad wet seasons though he knew it must rain at too he could hardly believe that it rained at so there whenever he could get away from the of the hamlet for an hour or two which was not often he would steal off to the brown house on the hill and strain his eyes persistently sometimes to be rewarded by the sight of a dome or spire at other times by a little smoke which in his estimate had some of the of incense then the day came when it suddenly occurred to him that if he ascended to the point of view after dark or possibly went a mile or two farther he would see the night lights of the city it would be necessary to come back alone but even that consideration did not him for he could throw a little into his mood no doubt the project was duly executed it was not late when he arrived at the place of outlook only just after dusk but a black sky accompanied by a wind from the same quarter made the occasion dark enough he was rewarded but what he saw was not the lamps in rows as he had half expected no individual light was visible q a o or glow fog the place against the black heavens behind it making the light and the city seem distant but a mile or so he set himself to wonder on the exact point in the glow where the school master might be he who never communicated with anybody at now who was as if dead to them here in the glow he seemed to see at ease like one of the forms in s furnace he had heard that breezes travelled at the rate of ten miles an hour and the fact now came into his mind he parted his lips as he faced the and drew in the wind as if it were a sweet liquor you he said addressing the breeze were in city between one and two hours ago floating along the streets pulling round the touching mr s face being breathed by the obscure him and now you be here breathed by me you the very same suddenly there came along this wind something towards him a message from the place from some soul there it seemed surely it was the sound of bells the voice of the city faint and musical calling to him we are happy here he had become entirely lost to his bodily situation during this mental leap and only got back to it by a rough recalling a few yards below the brow of the hill on which he paused a team of horses made its appearance having reached the place by dint of half an hour s progress from the bottom of the immense d l they had a load of coals behind them a fuel that could only be got into the by this particular route they were accompanied by a a second man and a boy who now kicked a large stone behind one of the wheels and allowed the panting animals to have a long rest while those in charge took a off the load and indulged in a drink round they were elderly men and had genial voices addressed them inquiring if they had come from heaven forbid with this load said they he place i mean is that one yonder he was getting so attached to that like young lover alluding to his mistress he felt at mentioning its name again he pointed to the light in the hardly perceptible to their older eyes yes there do seem a spot a bit brighter in the nor east than elsewhere though i shouldn t ha noticed it myself and no doubt it be here a little book of tales which had tucked up under his arm having brought them to read on his way hither before it grew dark slipped and fell into the road the eyed him while he picked it up and straightened the leaves at ah young man he observed you d have to get	45
your head on t other way before you could read what they read there why asked the boy oh they never look at anything that folks like we can understand the continued by way of passing the time on y foreign tongues used before the flood when no two families spoke alike they read that sort of thing as fast as a night hawk will tis all learning there nothing but learning except religion and that s learning too for i never could understand it yes tis not but there s in the streets o nights you know i suppose that they raise pa sons there like in a bed and though it do take how many years bob five years to turn a de chap into a solemn preaching man with no corrupt passions they ll do it if it can be done and polish un off like the workmen they be and turn un out wi a long face and a long black coat and waistcoat and a religious collar and hat same as they used to wear in the so that his own mother wouldn t know un sometimes there tis their business like anybody else s but how should you know now don t you interrupt my boy never interrupt your move the fore aside here s at coming you must mind that i be a talking of the college life em lives on a lofty level there s no it though i myself not think much of em as we be here in our bodies on this high ground so be they in their minds noble minded men enough no doubt some on em able to earn hundreds by thinking out loud and some on em be strong young fellows that can earn a most as much in silver cups as for music there s beautiful music everywhere in you be religious or you not but you can t help striking in your homely the obscure note with the rest and there s a street in the place the main street that ha n t another like it in the world i should think i did know a little about by this time the horses had recovered breath and bent to their again throwing a last look at the distant turned and walked beside his remarkably well informed friend who had no objection to tell him as they moved on more yet of the city its towers and halls and churches the wagon turned into a cross road whereupon thanked the warmly for his information and said he only wished he could talk half as well about as he well tis what has come in my way said the i ve never been there no more than you but i ve picked up the knowledge here and there and you be welcome to it a getting about the world as i do and mixing with all classes of society one can t help hearing of things a friend o mine that used to the boots at the hotel in when he was in his prime why i un as well as my own brother in his later years continued his walk homeward alone pondering so deeply that he forgot to feel timid he suddenly grew older it had been the yearning of his heart to find something to anchor on to cling to for some place which he could call admirable should he find that place in this city if he could get there would it be a spot in which without fear of farmers or or ridicule he could watch and wait and set himself to some mighty undertaking like the men of old of whom he had heard as the had been to his eyes when gazing at it a quarter of an hour earlier so was the spot mentally to him as he pursued his dark way it is a city of light he said to himself the tree of knowledge grows there he added a few farther on at it is a place that teachers of men spring from and go to it is what you may call a castle by and religion after this figure he was silent a long while till he added it would just suit me l iv walking somewhat slowly by reason of his the boy an ancient man in some phases of thought much younger than his years in others was overtaken by a light footed whom notwithstanding the gloom he could perceive to be wearing an tall hat a swallow coat and a watch chain that danced madly and threw around of light as its owner swung along upon a pair of thin legs and noiseless boots beginning to feel lonely endeavored to keep up with him well my man i m in a hurry so you ll have to walk pretty fast if you keep alongside of me do you know who i am yes i think physician ah i m known everywhere i see that comes of being a public benefactor was an doctor well known to the rustic population and absolutely unknown to anybody else as he indeed took care to be to avoid inconvenient v formed his only and his wide was among them alone his position was and his field more obscure than those of the with capital and an organized system of he was in fact a the distances he traversed on foot were enormous and extended nearly the whole length and breadth of had one day seen him selling a pot of colored to an old woman as a certain cure for a bad leg the woman arranging to pay a guinea in of a shilling a fortnight at for the precious which according to the physician could only be obtained from a particular animal which on mount and was to be	45
captured only at great risk to life and limb though he already had his doubts about this gentleman s felt him be unquestionably a travelled personage and one be a source of information on matters not strictly professional i s pose you ve been to physician i have many times replied the long thin man that s one of my it s a wonderful city for and religion you d say so my boy if you d seen it why the very sons of the old women who do the washing of the college can talk in latin not good latin that i admit as a critic dog latin cat latin as we used to call it in my days and greek well that s more for the men who are in training for that they may be able to read the new testament in the original i want to learn latin and greek myself a lofty desire you must get a grammar of each tongue i mean to go to some day whenever you do you say that physician is the only proprietor of those celebrated that cure all of the system as well as and of breath two and a box specially by the government stamp can you get me the if i promise to say it i ll sell you mine with pleasure those i used as a student oh thank you sir said gratefully but in for the amazing speed of the physician s walk kept him in a dog trot which was giving him a in the side tt the obscure i think you d better drop behind ray young man now i ll tell you what i ll do i ll get you the and give you a first lesson if you ll remember at every house in the village to recommend physician s golden life drops and female where will you be with the i shall be passing here this day fortnight at precisely this hour of five and twenty minutes past seven my movements are as truly timed as those of the in their courses here i ll be to meet you said with orders for my yes physician then dropped behind waited a few minutes to recover breath and went home with a consciousness of having struck a blow for through the intervening fortnight he ran about and smiled outwardly at his inward thoughts as if they were people meeting and nodding to him smiled with that singularly beautiful which is seen to spread on young faces at the of some glorious idea as if a supernatural lamp were held inside their transparent natures giving rise to the flattering fancy that heaven lies about them then he honestly performed his promise to the man of many in whom he now sincerely believed walking miles hither and thither among the surrounding as the physician s agent in advance on the evening appointed he stood motionless on the at the place where he had parted from and there awaited his approach the road physician was fairly up to time but to the surprise of on striking into his pace which the did not by a single of force the latter seemed hardly to recognize his young companion though with the lapse of the fortnight the evenings had grown light thought it might perhaps be owing to his wearing another hat and he saluted the physician with dignity at j well my boy t said the latter i ve come said you who are you oh to be sure got any orders lad yes and told him the names and addresses of the who were willing to test the virtues of the world renowned and the mentally these with great care and the latin and greek s voice trembled with anxiety what about them you were to bring me yours that you used before you took your degree ah yes yes forgot all about it all i so many lives depending on my attention you see my man that i can t give so much thought as i would like to other things controlled himself sufficiently long to make sure of the truth and he repeated in a voice of dry misery you haven t brought em no but you must get me some more orders from sick people and i ll bring the next time dropped behind he was an boy but the gift of sudden insight which is sometimes vouchsafed to children showed him all at once what humanity the was made of there was to be no intellectual light from this source the leaves dropped from his imaginary crown of laurel he turned to a gate leaned against it and cried bitterly the disappointment was followed by an interval of he might perhaps have obtained from but to do that required money and a knowledge of what books to order and though physically comfortable he was in such absolute dependence as to be without a of his own at this date mr sent for his and it gave a lead why should he not write to the school master and ask him to be so kind as to get him the the obscure in he might slip a letter inside the case of the instrument and it would be sure to reach the desired eyes why not ask him to send any old second hand copies which would have the charm of being by the university atmosphere to tell his aunt of his intention would be to defeat it it was necessary to act alone after a further consideration of a few days he did act and on the day of the piano s departure which happened to be his next birthday placed the letter inside the packing case directed to his much admired friend being afraid to reveal the operation to his aunt lest she should discover his motive and compel	45
him to abandon his scheme the piano was despatched and waited days and weeks calling every morning at the cottage post office before his great aunt was stirring at last a packet did indeed arrive at the village and he saw from the ends of it that it contained two thin books he took it away into lonely place and sat down on a elm to open it ver since his first ecstasy or vision of and its possibilities had meditated much and curiously on the probable sort of process that was involved in turning the expressions of one language into those of another he concluded that a grammar of the required tongue would contain a rule or of the nature of a secret which once known would enable him by merely applying it to change at will all words of his own speech into those of the foreign one his childish idea was in fact a pushing to the extremity of precision what is everywhere known as s law an ni of rough rules to ideal completeness thus he assumed that the words of the required language were always to be found somewhere latent in the words of the given language by those who had the art to them such art being furnished by the books y i i r at when therefore having noted that the packet bore the of he cut the string opened the volumes and turned to the latin grammar which chanced i to come uppermost he could scarcely believe his eyes the book was an old one thirty years old soiled over with a strange name in every variety t of to the letter press and marked at random with f dates twenty years earlier than his own day but this was not the cause of s amazement he learned for the first time that there was no law as s in his innocence he had supposed there was in some degree but the did not recognize it but that every word in both latin and greek was to be committed to memory at the cost of years of flung down the books lay backward along the broad trunk of the elm and was an utterly miserable boy i for the space of a quarter of an hour as he had often done before he pulled his hat over his face and watched the sun peering at him through the of the straw this was latin and greek then was it this grand delusion the charm he had supposed in store for him was really a labor like that of in egypt what brains they must have in and the great schools he presently thought to learn words one by one up to of thousands there were no brains in his head equal to this business and as the little sun rays continued to stream in through his hat at him he wished he had never seen a book that he might never see another that he had never been born somebody might have come along that way who would have asked him his trouble and might have cheered him by saying that his notions were further advanced than those of his but nobody did come because nobody does and under the crushing recognition of his gigantic error continued to wish ef the world h during the three or four succeeding years a quaint and singular vehicle might have been discerned moving along the lanes and by roads near driven in a quaint and singular way in the course of a month or two after the receipt of the books had grown to the shabby trick played him by the dead languages in fact his disappointment at the nature of those tongues had after a while been the means of still further the of to acquire languages departed or living in spite of such as he now knew them to possess was a performance which gradually led him on to a greater interest in it than in the patent process the mountain weight of material under which the ideas lay in those dusty volumes called the him into a dogged of attempt to move it he had endeavored to make his presence tolerable to his maiden aunt by assisting her to the best of his ability and the business of the little cottage had grown in consequence an aged horse with a hanging head had been purchased for eight pounds at a sale a creaking cart with a brown obtained for a few pounds more and in this it became s business thrice a week to carry of bread to the villagers and solitary immediately around the lay after all less in the conveyance itself than in s manner of conducting it along its route its interior was the scene of most of l at it s education by private study as soon as the horse had learned the road and the houses at which he was to pause a while the boy seated in front would slip the i reins over his arm fix open by means of a j attached to the the volume he was reading spread the dictionary knees and plunge into the passages from c or as the case might be in his stumbling way and with an expenditure of labor that would have made a shed tears yet somehow getting at the meaning of what he read and rather than beholding the spirit of the original which often to his mind was something else than that which he was taught to look for the only copies he had been able to lay hands old because they were and therefore cheap but bad for idle it did so happen that they were good for him the and lonely covered up the and used them merely on points of construction as he would have used a comrade or who should have happened to be passing	45
bj r and though may have had little chance of becoming a scholar i by these rough and ready means he was in the way of getting into the he wished to follow while he was busied with these ancient pages which had already been by hands possibly in the grave digging out the thoughts of these minds so remote yet so near the bony old horse pursued his rounds and would be aroused from the woes of by the of his cart and the voice of some old woman crying two to day baker and i return this stale one he was frequently met in the lanes by and others without his seeing them and by degrees the people of the neighborhood began to talk about his method oi work and play such they considered his reading to be which though probably convenient enough to the obscure himself was not altogether a safe proceeding for other travellers along the same roads there were murmurs then a private resident of an adjoining place informed the local policeman that the baker s boy should not be allowed to read while driving and insisted that it was the s duty to catch him in the act and take him to the police court at and get him for dangerous on the highway the policeman thereupon lay in wait for and one day him and him as had to get up at three o clock in the morning to heat the oven and mix and set in the bread that he distributed later in the day he was obliged to go to bed at night immediately after laying the so that if he could not read his on the he could hardly study at all the only thing to be done was therefore to keep a sharp eye ahead and around him as well as he could in the circumstances and slip away his books as soon as anybody loomed in the distance the policeman in particular to do that official justice he did not put himself much in the way of s bread cart considering that in such a lonely district the chief danger was to himself and often on seeing the white over the hedges he would move in another direction on a day when was getting quite advanced being now about sixteen and had been stumbling through the on his way home he found himself to be passing over the high edge of the by the brown house the light had changed and it was the sense of this which had caused him to look up the sun was going down and the full moon was rising simultaneously behind the woods in the opposite quarter his mind had become so with the poem that in a moment of the same impulsive emotion which years before had caused him to kneel on the ladder he stopped the horse alighted and glancing to see that nobody was in sight knelt down on the road side bank with open j at book he turned first to the shiny goddess who seemed to look so softly and at his doings then to the disappearing on the other hand as he began the horse stood still till he had finished the hymn which repeated under the sway of a fancy that he would never have thought of in broad daylight reaching home he mused over his curious superstition innate or acquired in doing this and the strange forgetfulness which had led to such a lapse from and custom in one who wished next to being a scholar to be a christian divine it had all come of reading heathen works exclusively the more he thought of it the more convinced he was of his he began to wonder whether he could be reading quite the right books for his object in life certainly there seemed little harmony between this pagan literature and the at christ that romance in stone ultimately he decided that in his sheer love of reading he had taken up a wrong emotion for a christian young man he had in but had never yet worked much at the new testament in the greek though he possessed a copy obtained by post from a second hand he abandoned the now familiar for a new dialect and for a long time onward limited his reading almost entirely to the and in s text moreover on going into one day he was introduced to j literature by finding at the s some volumes of the fathers which had been left behind by an clergyman of the neighborhood as another of this change of he the obscure on sundays all the churches within a walk and the latin on century and on one of these he met with a old woman of great intelligence who read everything she could lay her hands on and she told him more yet of the romantic charms of the city of light and lore thither he resolved as firmly as ever to go but how live in that city at present he had no income at all he had no trade or calling of any dignity or whatever on which he could while carrying out an intellectual labor which might spread over many years what was most required by citizens food clothing and shelter an income from any work in preparing the first would be too meagre for making the second he felt a the preparation of the third requisite he inclined to they built in a city therefore he would learn to build he thought of his unknown uncle his cousin s father an in metal and somehow art in any material was a trade for which he had rather a fancy he could not go far wrong in following his uncle s footsteps and engaging himself a while with the that contained the scholar souls as a preliminary he obtained some small blocks of metal not	45
being available and his studies a while occupied his spare half hours in the heads and in his parish church there was a stone of a humble kind in alfred and as soon as he had found a substitute for himself in his aunt s little business he offered his services to this man for a trifling here had the opportunity of learning at least the of some time later he went to a church in the same place and under the s direction became handy at restoring the of several village churches x at not forgetting that he was only following up this han as a to lean on while he prepared those great er engines which he flattered himself would be better fit ted for him he yet was interested in his pursuit on its own account he now had lodgings during the week in the little town whence he returned to village every saturday evening and thus he reached and passed his nineteenth year vi at this memorable date of his life he was one saturday returning from to about three o clock in the afternoon it was fine warm and soft summer weather and he walked with his tools at his back his little faintly against the larger ones in his basket it being the end of the week he had left work early and had come out of the town by a route which he did not usually frequent having promised to call at a flour mill in that direction to execute a commission for his aunt he was in an enthusiastic mood he seemed to see his way to living comfortably in christ in the course of a year or two and knocking at the doors of one of those of learning of which he had dreamed so much he might of course have gone there now in some capacity or other but he preferred to enter the city with a little more assurance as to means than he could be said to feel at present a warm self content him when he considered what he had already done now and then as he went along he turned to face the j of country on either side of him but he hardly saw them the act was an repetition of what he had been accustomed to do when less occupied and the one matter which really engaged him was the mental estimate of his progress thus far i have acquired quite an average student s power to read the common ancient latin in particular this was true possessing a facility in that language which enabled him with great ease to himself at to his lonely walks by imaginary conversations therein i have read two books of besides being pretty familiar with passages such as the speech of in the ninth book the fight of and in the the appearance of and his heavenly in the and the funeral games in the twenty third i have also done some a little scrap of and a lot of the greek testament i wish there was only one dialect all the same i have done some including the first six and the and twelfth books of and as far as simple i know something of the fathers and something of roman and english history a these things are only a beginning but i shall make much further advance here from the difficulty of getting books hence i must next all my energies on settling in once there i shall so advance with the assistance i shall there get that my present knowledge will appear to me but as childish ignorance i must save money and i will and one of those shall open its doors to me shall welcome whom now it would if i wait twenty years for th welcome i ll be d d before i have done and then he continued to dream and thought he might become even a bishop by leading a pure energetic wise christian life and what an example he would set if his income were a year he would give away in one form and another and live for him on the remainder well on second thoughts a bishop was absurd he would draw the line at an perhaps a man could be as good and as learned and as useful in the capacity of as in that of bishop yet he thought of the bishop again meanwhile i will read as soon as i am settled in the obscure christ the books i have not been able to get hold of here ha ha ha the sounds were expressed in light voices on the other side of the hedge but he did not notice them his thoughts went on then i must master other things the fathers thoroughly and history generally a of hebrew i only know the letters as yet but i can work hard i have staying power in abundance thank god and it is that which tells yes shall be my and i ll be her beloved son in whom she shall be well pleased in his deep on these transactions of the future s walk had and he was now standing quite still looking at the ground as though the future were thrown by a magic lantern on a sudden something him sharply in the ear and he became aware that a soft cold substance had been flung at him and had fallen at his feet a glance told him what it was a piece of flesh the characteristic part of a pig which the countrymen used for their boots as it was useless for any other purpose pigs were rather plentiful being bred and in large numbers in certain parts of north on the other side of the hedge was a stream whence as he now for the first time realized had come	45
the slight sounds of voices and laughter that had mingled with his dreams he mounted the bank and looked over the fence on the farther side of the stream stood a small having a garden and pig attached in front of it beside the brook three young women were kneeling with and beside them contain a x j at ing heaps of pigs which they were washing in the running water one or two pairs of eyes glanced up and perceiving that his attention had at last been attracted and that he was watching them they themselves for inspection by putting their mouths into shape and their operations with thank you severely i throw it i tell you v asserted one girl to her neighbor as if unconscious of the young man s presence nor i the second answered oh how can you said the third if i had thrown anything at all it shouldn t have been such an thing as that i don t care for him and they laughed and continued their work without looking up still each other grew sarcastic as he wiped the spot where the flesh had struck him you didn t do it oh no he said to the up stream one of the three she whom he addressed was a fine dark eyed girl not exactly handsome but capable of passing as such at a little distance despite some of skin and fibre she had a round and prominent bosom full lips perfect teeth and the rich complexion of a hen s egg she was a complete and substantial female human no more no less and was almost certain that to her was the enterprise of throwing the lump of at him the from which she had obviously just cut it off lying close beside her that you ll never be told said she whoever did it was of s property oh that s nothing the pig is my father s but you want it back i suppose the obscure oh yes if you like to give it me shall i throw it across or will you come to the plank above here for me to hand it to you perhaps she foresaw an opportunity for somehow or other the eyes of the brown girl rested in his own when he had said the words and there was a momentary flash of intelligence a dumb announcement of in between herself and him which so far as was concerned had no sort of in it she saw that he had her out from the three as a woman is out in such cases for no reasoned purpose of further acquaintance but in commonplace obedience to orders from unconsciously received by unfortunate men when the last intention of their lives is to be occupied with the feminine v springing to her feet she said don t throw it give it to me was now aware that the value of the had nothing to do with her request he set down his basket of tools out with his stick the slip of flesh from the ditch and got over the hedge they walked in parallel lines one on each bank of the stream towards the small plank bridge as the girl drew nearer to it she gave without perceiving it an little to the interior of each of her cheeks in succession by which curious and original she brought as by magic upon its smooth and surface a perfect which she was able to retain there as long as she continued to smile this production of at will was a not unknown operation which many attempted but only a few succeeded in v they met in the middle of the plank and held out his stick with the fragment of pig dangling looking elsewhere the while and faintly she too looked in another direction and took the piece as though ignorant of what her hand was doing she hung it temporarily on the rail of the bridge and at then by a species of mutual curiosity they both turned and regarded it you don t think i threw it oh no it belongs to father and he have been in a taking if he had wanted it he makes it into what made either of the others throw it i wonder asked politely accepting her assertion though he had very large doubts as to its truth impudence don t tell folk it was i mind how can i i don t know your name ah no shall i tell it to you do i m living here i must have known it if i had often come this way but i mostly go straight along the high road my father is a pig and these girls are helping me wash the for black and they talked a little more and a little more as they stood regarding the limp object dangling across the hand rail of the bridge the call of woman to man which was uttered very distinctly by s personality held to the spot against his intention almost against his will and in a way new to his experience it is scarcely an exaggeration to say that till this moment had never looked at a woman to consider her as such but had vaguely regarded the sex as beings outside his life and purposes he gazed from her eyes to her mouth thence to her bosom and to her full round naked i arms wet with the chill of the water and firm as marble what a nice looking girl you are he murmured though the words had not been necessary to express his sense of her ah you should see me sundays she said i don t suppose i could he answered that s for you to think on there s nobody after the obscure me just now though there be in a week or two she had	45
spoken this without a smile and the disappeared felt himself drifting strangely but could not help it will you let me i don t mind by this time she had managed to get back one by turning her face aside for a moment and repeating the odd little operation before mentioned being still unconscious of more than a general impression of her appearance next sunday he tomorrow that is yes shall i call yes she brightened with a little glow of triumph swept him almost tenderly with her eyes in turning and throwing the out of the way upon the grass rejoined her companions shouldered his tool basket and resumed his lonely way filled with an at which he mentally stood at gaze he had just a single breath from a new atmosphere which had evidently been hanging round him everywhere he went for he knew not how but had somehow been divided from his actual breathing as by a sheet of glass the intentions as to reading working and learning which he had so precisely i only a few minutes earlier were suffering a curious into a corner he knew not how well it s only a bit of fun he said to himself faintly conscious that to common sense there was something lacking and still more obviously something in the nature of this girl who had drawn him to her which made it necessary that he should assert mere on his part as his reason in seeking her something in her quite to that side of him which had been occupied with literary study and the at magnificent dream it had been no who chose that for opening her attack on him he saw this with his intellectual eye just for a short fleeting while as by the light of a falling lamp one might see an inscription on a wall before being in darkness and then this passing power was withdrawn and was lost to all conditions of things in the advent of a fresh and wild pleasure that of having found a new channel for interest hitherto though it had lain close beside him he was to meet this one of the other sex on the following sunday meanwhile the girl had joined her companions and she silently resume i r and of the in t he stream un my dear asked the girl called i don t know i wish i had thrown something else than that murmured lord he s nobody though you think so he used to drive old s bread cart out at till he himself at since then he s been very stuck up and always reading he wants to be a scholar they say oh i don t care what he is or anything about n don t you think it my child oh don t ee you needn t try to deceive us what did you stay talking to him for if you didn t want un whether you do or whether you don t he s as simple as a child i could see it as you on the bridge wi that piece o the pig hanging between ye what a proper thing to court over well he s to be had by any woman who can get him to care for her a bit if she likes to set herself to catch him the right way vii the next day was pausing in his bedroom with the sloping ceiling looking at the books on the table and then at the black mark on the plaster above them made by the smoke of his lamp in past months it was sunday afternoon four and twenty hours after his meeting with during the whole week he had been to set this afternoon apart for a special purpose the re reading of his greek testament his new one with better type than his old copy following s text as by numerous and with in the margin he was proud of the book having obtained it by boldly writing to its london a thing he had never done before he had anticipated much pleasure in this afternoon s reading under the quiet roof of his great aunt s house as formerly where he now slept only two nights a week but a new thing a great had happened yesterday in the gliding and noiseless current of his life and he felt as a snake must feel who has off its winter skin and cannot understand the brightness and of its new one he would not go out to meet her after all he sat down opened the book and with his elbows firmly planted on the table and his hands to his temples began at the beginning h at had he promised to call for her surely he had she would wait in doors poor girl and waste all her afternoon on account of him there was a something in her too which was very winning apart from promises he ought not to break faith with her even though he had only sundays and week day evenings for reading he could afford one afternoon seeing that other young men af j so many after to day he would never probably see her again indeed it would be impossible considering what his plans were in short as if materially a compelling arm of extraordinary muscular power seized hold of him something which had nothing in common with the spirits and influences that had moved him hitherto this seemed to care little for his reason and his will nothing for his elevated intentions and moved him along as a violent school master a school boy he has seized by the in a direction which tended towards the embrace of a woman for whom he had no respect and whose life had nothing in common with his own except locality h was suddenly closed and the sprang up and	45
across the room such an event he had already arrayed himself in his clothes in three minutes he was out of the house and descending by the path across the wide vacant hollow of corn ground which lay between the village and the isolated house of in the dip beyond the as he walked he looked at his watch he could be back in two hours easily and a good long time would still remain to him for reading after tea passing the few fir trees and cottage where the path joined the highway he hastened along and struck away to the left descending the steep side of the country to the west of the brown house here at the base of the chalk formation he the brook that from it and followed the stream till he reached her dwelling a smell of came from the back the obscure and the of the of that smell he entered the garden and knocked at the door with the of his stick somebody had seen him through the window for a male voice on the inside said here s your young man come my girl at the words in such a business like aspect as it evidently wore to the speaker was the last thing tie was thinking of he was going to walk with her perhaps kiss her but was too coolly to be anything but to his ideas the door was opened and he entered just as came down stairs in full walking attire take a chair mr what s your name said her father an energetic black man in the same business like tones had heard from outside i d rather go out at once wouldn t you she whispered to yes said he we ll walk up to the brown house and back we can do it in half an hour looked so handsome amid her surroundings that he felt glad he had come and all the vanished that had hitherto haunted him first they to the top of the great down during which ascent he had occasionally to take her hand to assist her then they bore off to the left along the crest into the which they followed till it the high road at the brown house the spot of his former desires to behold but he forgot them now he talked the commonest local die to with greater zest than he would have felt in discussing all the with all the in the recently adored university and passed the spot where he had knelt to and without remembering that there were any such people in the or that the sun was anything else than a useful lamp for at s face an indescribable lightness of heel served to lift him along and the scholar d d professor bishop or what not felt himself honored and by the condescension of this handsome country in agreeing to take a walk with him in her sunday frock and ribbons they reached the brown house barn the point at which he had planned to turn back while looking over the vast northern landscape from this spot they were struck by the rising of a dense volume of smoke from the neighborhood of the little town which lay beneath them at a distance of a couple of miles it is a fire said let s run and see it do it is not far the tenderness which had grown up in s bosom left him no will to her inclination now which pleased him in affording him excuse for a longer time with her they started off down the hill almost at a trot but on gaining level ground at the bottom and walking a mile they found that the spot of the fire was much farther off than it had seemed having begun their journey however they pushed on but it was not till five o clock that they found themselves on the scene the distance being altogether about half a dozen miles from and three from s the had been got under by the time they reached it and after a short inspection of the melancholy ruins they their steps their course lying through the town of said she would like some tea and they entered an inn of an inferior class and gave their order as it was not for beer they had a long time to wait the recognized and whispered her surprise to her mistress in the background that he the student who kept up so particular should have suddenly descended so low as to keep company with the latter guessed what was being said and laughed as she the obscure met the serious and tender gaze of her lover the low and triumphant laugh of a careless woman who sees she is winning her game they sat and looked round the room and at the ture of and which hung on the wall and circular beer on the table and at the filled with the whole aspect of the scene had that effect on which few places can produce like a tap room on a sunday evening when the setting sun is in and no liquor is going and the unfortunate finds himself with no other haven of rest it began to grow dusk they could not wait longer really they said yet what else can we do asked it is a three mile walk for you i suppose we can have some beer said beer oh yes i had forgotten that somehow it seems odd to come to a public house for beer on a sunday evening but we didn t no we didn t by this time wished he was out of such an atmosphere but he ordered the beer which was promptly brought tasted it she said tasted what s the matter with it he asked i don t understand beer very much now it	45
is true i like it well enough but it is bad to read on and i find coffee better but this seems all right i can t touch it she mentioned three or four that she detected in the liquor beyond and much to s surprise how much you know he said good ly nevertheless she returned to the beer and drank her share and they went on their way it was now nearly dark and as soon as they had withdrawn from the lights of the town they walked closer together till they touched each other she wondered why he did not put his arm at round her waist but he did not he merely said what to himself seemed a quite bold enough thing take my arm she took it thoroughly up to the shoulder he felt the warmth of her body against his and putting his stick under his other arm held with his right hand her right as it rested in its place now we are well together dear aren t we he observed yes said she adding to herself rather mild how fast have become he was thinking thus they walked till they reached the foot of the where they could see the white highway ascending before them in the gloom from this point the only way of getting to s was by going up the incline and dipping again into the valley on the right before they had climbed far they were nearly run into by two men who had been walking on the grass unseen these lovers you find em out o doors in all seasons and lovers and dogs only said one of the men as they vanished down the hill lightly are we lovers asked you know best but you can tell me for answer she inclined her head upon his shoulder took the hint and her waist with his arm pulled her to him and kissed her they walked now no longer arm in arm but as she had desired clasped together after all what did it matter since it was dark said to himself when they were half way up the long hill they paused as by arrangement and he kissed her again they reached the top and he kissed her once more you can keep your arm there if you would like to she said gently he did so thinking how trusting she was thus they slowly went towards her home he had left his cottage at half past three intending to be sitting down the obscure again to the new testament by half past five it was nine o clock when with another embrace he stood to deliver her up at her father s door she asked him to come in if only for a minute as it would seem so odd otherwise and as if she had been out alone in the dark he gave way and followed her in immediately that the door was opened he found in addition to her parents several neighbors sitting round they all spoke in a manner and took him seriously as s intended partner they did not belong to his set or circle and he felt out of place and embarrassed he had not meant this a mere afternoon of pleasant walking with that was all he had meant he did not stay longer than to speak to her step mother a simple quiet woman without features or character and bidding them all good night plunged with a sense of relief into the track over the down but that sense was only temporary soon her sway in his soul he walked as if he felt himself to be another man from the of yesterday what were his books to him what were his intentions hitherto to so strictly as to not wasting a single i minute of time day by day wasting it depended i on your point of view to define that he was just living for the first time not wasting life it was better to love a woman than to be a or a parson ay or a pope when he got back to the house his aunt had gone to bed and a general consciousness of his neglect seemed written on the face of all things him he went up stairs without a light and the dim interior of his room him with sad inquiry there lay his book open just as he had left it and the capital letters on the title page regarded him with fixed reproach in the gray like the eyes of a dead man h at had to leave early next morning for his usual week of absence at lodgings and it was with a sense of that he threw into his basket upon his tools and other necessaries the book he had brought with him he kept his impassioned doings a secret almost from himself on the contrary made them public among all her friends and acquaintances by the light of dawn the road he had followed a few hours earlier under cover of darkness with his sweetheart by his side he reached the bottom of the hill where he walked slowly and stood still he was on the spot where he had given her the first kiss as the sun had only just risen it was possible that nobody had passed there since looked on the ground and sighed he looked closely and could just discern in the damp dust the of their feet as they had stood locked in each other s arms she was not there now and the of imagination upon the stuff of nature so depicted her past presence that a void was in his heart which nothing could fill a willow stood close to the place and that willow was different from all other in the world utter of the six days which must before he could see her	45
again as he had promised would have been his wish if he had had only the week to live an hour and a half later came along the same way with her two companions of the saturday she passed the scene of the kiss and the willow that marked it though chattering freely on the subject to the other two and what did he tell ee next then he said and she related almost word for word some of his tenderest speeches if had been behind the fence he would have felt not a little surprised at learning how very few of his sayings and doings on the previous evening were private you ve got him to care for ee a bit nation if you the obscure ha n t murmured it s well to be you in a few moments replied in a curiously low fierce tone of latent i ve got him to care for me yes but i want him to more than care for me i want him to have me to marry me i must have him j i can t do without him he s the sort of man i long for i shall go mad if i can t give myself to him altogether i felt i should when i first saw him i as he is a ard honest chap s to be had and as a husband if you set about catching him in the right way remained thinking a while what be the right way she asked oh you don t know you don t said the third girl on my word i don t no further that is than by plain and taking care he don t go too far the third girl looked at the second she don t know tis clear she don t said and having lived in a town too as one may say well we can teach ee at then as well as you us yes and how do you mean a sure way to gain a man take me for a innocent and have done wi it as a husband as a husband a that s honorable and serious minded such as he god forbid that i should say a or sailor or commercial from the towns or any of them that be slippery with poor women i d do no friend that harm well such as lie of course s companions looked at each other and turning up their eyes in began then one went up close to and although nobody was near imparted some information in a low tone the other observing curiously the effect upon at v ah said the last named slowly i own i didn t think of that way but suppose he isn t honorable a woman had better not have tried it nothing venture nothing have besides you make sure that he s honorable before you begin you d be safe enough with yours i wish i had the chance lots of girls do it or do you think they d get married at all pursued her way in silent thought i ll try it she whispered but not to them i f r viii at the week s end was again walking out to his l aunt s at from his lodging in a walk which now had large attractions for him quite other than his desire to see his aged and relative he to the right before ascending the hill with the single purpose of gaining on his way a glimpse of that should not come into the reckoning of regular before quite reaching the his alert eye perceived the top of her head moving quickly hither and thither over the garden hedge entering the gate he found that three young pigs had escaped from their by leaping clean over the top and that she was to drive them in through the door which she had set open the lines of her countenance changed from the of business to the softness of love when she saw and she bent her eyes upon him the animals took advantage of the pause by and out of the way they were only put in this morning she cried stimulated to pursue in spite of her lover s presence they were drove from farm only yesterday where father bought em at a stiff price enough they are wanting to get home again the stupid will you shut the garden gate dear and help me to get em in there be no men folk at home only mother and they ll be lost if we don t mind he set himself to assist and this way and that over the rows and the every now and at then they ran together when he caught her for a moment and kissed her the first pig was got back promptly the second with some difficulty the third a long legged creature was more obstinate and he plunged through a hole in the garden hedge and into the lane he ll be lost if i don t follow n said she come along with me she rushed in full pursuit out of the garden alongside her barely to keep the fugitive in sight occasionally they would shout to some boy to stop the animal but he always past and ran on as before let me take your hand darling said you are getting out of breath she gave him her now hot hand with apparent and they trotted along together this comes of driving em home she remarked they always know the way back if you do that they ought to have been over by this time the pig had reached an gate admitting to the open down across which he sped with all the his little legs afforded as soon as the had entered and ascended to the top of the high	45
ground it became apparent that they would have to run all the way to the farmer s if they wished to get at him from this summit he could be seen as a minute speck following an line towards the farm it is no good cried he ll be there long before we get there it don t matter now we know he s not lost or stolen on the way they ll see it is ours and send un back oh dear how hot i be without her hold of s hand she aside and flung herself down on the sod under a thorn pulling on to his knees at the same time oh i ask pardon i nearly threw you down didn t i but i am so tired she lay and straight as an arrow on the sloping the obscure sod of this hill top gazing up into the blue miles of sky and still retaining her warm hold of s hand he on his elbow near her we ve run all this way for nothing she went on her form heaving and falling in quick her face flushed her full red lips parted and a fine dew of perspiration on her skin we ll why don t you speak i m blown too it was all up hill they were in absolute solitude the most apparent of all that of empty surrounding space nobody could be nearer than a mile to them without their seeing him they were in fact on one of the of the county and the distant landscape around could be discerned from where they lay but did not think of that then oh i can see such a pretty thing up this tree said a sort of a of the most loveliest green and yellow you ever came across where said sitting up you can t see him there you must come here said she he bent nearer and put his head by hers no i can t see it he said why on the limb there where it branches off close to the moving leaf there she gently pressed his face towards the position i don t see it he repeated the back of his head against her cheek but i can perhaps standing up he stood accordingly placing himself in the direct line of her gaze how stupid you are she said turning away her face i don t care to see it dear why should i he replied looking down upon her get up why i want you to let me kiss you i ve been waiting to ever so long v at c she her face remained a moment looking at him then with a slight curl of the lip sprang to her feet and exclaiming abruptly i must walked off quickly homeward followed and rejoined her just one he sha n t she said he surprised what s the matter she kept her two lips together and followed her like a pet lamb till she her pace and walked beside him talking calmly on indifferent subjects and always checking him if he tried to take her hand or clasp her waist thus they descended to the of her father s and went in nodding good bye to him with a air i expect i took too much liberty with her somehow said to himself as he withdrew with a sigh and went on to on sunday morning the interior of s home was as usual the scene of a grand weekly cooking the preparation of the special sunday dinner her father was before a little glass hung on the ion of the window and her mother and herself were beans hard by a neighbor passed on her way home from morning service at the nearest church and seeing engaged at the window with the nodded and came in she at once spoke to i ee running with un i hope tis coming to something merely threw a look of consciousness into her face without raising her eyes he s for i hear as soon as he can get there have you heard that lately quite lately asked with a jealous of breath the obscure oh no but it has been known a long time that it is his plan he s on y waiting here for an opening ah well he must walk about with somebody i s pose young men don t mean much nowadays tis a here and a there with em twas different in my time when the gossip had departed said suddenly to her mother i want you and father to go and inquire how the be this evening after tea or no there s evening service at you can walk to that oh what s up to night then nothing only i want the house to myself he s shy and i can t get un to come in when you are here i shall let him slip through my fingers if i don t mind as i care for n if it is fine we as well go since you wish in the afternoon met and walked with who had now for weeks ceased to look into a book of greek latin or any other tongue they wandered up the slopes till they reached the green track along the ridge which they followed to the circular british earth bank adjoining thinking of the great age of the and of the who had frequented it probably before the knew the country up from the level lands below them floated the of church bells presently they were reduced to one note which quickened and stopped now we ll go back said who had attended to the sounds assented so long as he was near her he minded little where he was when they arrived at her house he said i won	45
t come in why are you in such a hurry to go in to night it is not near dark wait a moment said she she tried the handle of the door and found it locked ah they are gone to church she added and searching behind the she found the key and unlocked the door now you ll at come in a moment she asked lightly we shall be all alone certainly said wit h ity the case being unexpectedly altered in doors they went did he want any tea no it was too late he would rather sit and talk to her she took of her jacket and hat and they sat down naturally enough close together don t touch me please she said softly i am part egg shell or perhaps i had better put it in a safe place she began the collar of her gown what is it said her lover an egg a s egg i am a very rare sort i carry it about everywhere with me and it will get in less than three weeks where do you carry it just here she put her hand into her bosom and drew out the egg which was wrapped in wool outside it being a piece of pig s in case of accidents having exhibited it to him she put it back now mind you don t come near me i don t want to get it broke and have to begin another why do you do such a strange thing just for a fancy t suppose it is foe l worn an to want to bring t h in ff r l it is very awkward for me just now he said laughing it serves you right there that s all you can have of me she had turned round her chair and reaching over the back of it presented her cheek to him that s very shabby of you you should have me a minute ago when i had put the egg down there she said i am without it now she had quickly withdrawn the egg a second time but before he could quite reach her she had put it back as quickly laughing with the excitement of her then there was a little struggle the obscure making a plunge for it and it triumphantly her face flushed and becoming suddenly conscious he flushed also they looked at each other panting till he rose and said one kiss now i can do it without damage to property and i ll go but she had jumped up too you must find me first she cried her lover followed her as she withdrew it was now dark inside the room and the window being small he could not discover for a long time what had become of her till a laugh revealed her to have rushed up the stairs whither rushed at her heels ix it was some two months later in the year and the pair had met constantly during the interval seemed dissatisfied she was always imagining and waiting and wondering one day she met the she like all the knew the well and they began talking about her experiences had been gloomy but before he left her she had grown brighter that evening she kept an appointment with who seemed sad i am going away he said to her i think i ought to go i think it will be better both for you and for me i wish some things had never begun i was much to blame i know but it is never too late to mend began to cry how do you know it is not too late she said that s all very well to say i haven t told you yet and she looked into his face with streaming eyes what he asked turning pale not yes and what shall i do if you desert me oh how can you say that my dear you know i wouldn t desert you well i have next to no wages as yet you know or perhaps i should have thought of this before but of course if that s the case we must marry what other thing do you think i could dream of doing i thought i thought perhaps you would go away all the more for that and leave me to face it alone the obscure you knew better of course i never dreamed six months ago or even three of marrying it is a complete up of my plans i mean my plans before i knew you my dear but what are they after all dreams about books and degrees and impossible and all that certainly we ll marry we must that night he went out alone and walked in the dark self he knew well too well in the secret centre of his brain that was not worth a great deal as a specimen of yet such being the custom of the rural districts among honorable young men who had drifted so far into intimacy with a woman as he unfortunately had done he was ready to abide by what he had said and take the consequences for his own soothing he kept up a belief in her his idea i of her was the thing of m not he sometimes said were put in the very next sunday the people of the parish all said what a simple fool young was all his reading had only come to this that he would have to sell his books to buy those who guessed the probable state of affairs s parents being among them declared that it was the sort of conduct they would have expected of such an honest young man as in of the wrong he had done his innocent sweetheart the parson who married them seemed to think it satisfactory too and so	45
standing before the the two swore that at every other time of their lives they would assuredly believe feel and desire precisely as they had believed felt and desired during the few preceding weeks what was as remarkable as the undertaking itself was the fact that nobody seemed at all surprised at what they swore s aunt being a baker she made him a saying bitterly that it was the last thing she could do for him poor silly fellow and that it would have at been far better if instead of his living to trouble her he had gone years before with his father and mother of this cake took some wrapped them up in white note paper and sent them to her companions in the pork dressing business and each packet in remembrance of good advice the prospects of the newly married couple were not very brilliant even to the most sanguine mind he a stone s nineteen years of age was working for half wages till he should be out of his time his wife was absolutely useless in a town lodging where he at first had considered it would be necessary for them to live but the urgent need of adding to income in ever so little a degree caused him to take a lonely road side cottage between the brown house and that he might have the profits of a vegetable garden and her past experiences by letting her keep a pig but it was not the sort of life he had for and it was a long way to walk to and from every day however felt that all these were temporary she h ad gained a d th at was th f q husband with a lot of earning power in him for buying her and hats when he should begin to get frightened a bit and stick to his trade and throw aside those stupid books for practical so to the cottage he took her on the evening of the marriage giving up his old room at his aunt s where so much of the hard labor at greek and latin had been carried on a little chill him at her first a long tail of hair which wore twisted up in an enormous at the back of her head was deliberately out and hung upon the looking glass which he had bought her what it wasn t your own he said with a sudden for her the obscure oh no it never is nowadays with the better class nonsense perhaps not in towns but in the country it is supposed to be different besides you ve enough of your own surely why it s a lot yes enough as country notions go but in towns the men expect more and when i was at at well not exactly i used to draw the drink at a public house there just for a little time that was all some people put me up to getting this and i bought it just for a fancy the more you have the better in which is a finer town than all your christ every lady of position wears false hair the s assistant told me so thought with a feeling of sickness that though this might be true to some extent for all that he knew many girls would and did go to towns and remain there for years without losing their simplicity of life and alas had an instinct towards ia very blood and became in at the t g of it however perhaps there was no great sin in a woman adding to her hair and he resolved to think no more of it a new made wife can usually manage to look interesting for a few weeks even though the prospects of the household ways and means are cloudy there is a certain about her situation and her manner to her acquaintance at the sense of it which carries off the gloom of facts and renders even the bride independent a while of the real mrs was r walking in the streets of one market day with this quality in her carriage when she met her former friend whom she had not seen since the wedding as usual they laughed before talking the world seemed funny to them without saying it at so it turned out a good plan you see remarked the girl to the wife i knew it would with such as him he s a dear good fellow and you ought to be proud of un i am said mrs quietly and when do you expect s sh not at all what i was mistaken oh you be a deep one mistaken well that s clever it s a stroke of genius it is a thing i never thought o wi all my experience i never thought beyond the thing not that one could sham it don t you be too quick to cry sham t sham i didn t know my word won t he be in a taking he ll give it to ee o saturday nights whatever it was he ll say it was a trick a double one by the lord i ll own to the first but not to the second he won t care he ll be glad i was wrong in what i said he ll shake down bless ee men always do what can em do otherwise married is married nevertheless it was with a little uneasiness that approached the time when in the natural course of things she would have to reveal that the alarm she had raised had been without foundation the occasion was one evening at bed time and they were in their chamber in the lonely cottage by the way side to which walked home from his work every day he had	45
worked hard the whole twelve hours and had retired to rest before his wife when she came into the room he was between sleeping and waking and was barely conscious of her before the little looking glass as he lay one action of hers however brought him to full her face being reflected towards him as she sat the obscure he could perceive that she was amusing herself by producing in each cheek the before alluded to a curious accomplishment of which she was mistress it by a momentary it seemed to him for the first time that the were far oftener absent from her face during his intercourse with her nowadays than they had been in the earlier weeks of their acquaintance don t do that he said suddenly there is no harm in it but i don t like to see you she turned and laughed lord i didn t know you was awake she said how you are that s nothing where did you learn it nowhere that i know of they used to stay without any trouble when i was at the public house but now they won t my face was then i don t care about i don t think they improve a woman particularly a married woman and of full sized figure like you most men think otherwise i don t care what most men think if they do how do you know i used to be told so when i was serving in the that public house experience accounts for your knowing about the of the ale when we went and had some that sunday evening i thought when i married you that you had always lived in your father s house you ought to have known better than that and seen i was a little more finished than i could have been by staying where i was born there was not much to do at home and i was eating my head off so i went away for three months you ll soon have plenty to do now dear won t you how do you mean tl at why of course little things to make oh when will it be can t you tell me exactly instead of in such general terms as you have used tell you the date there s nothing to tell i made a mistake what it was a mistake he sat bolt upright in bed and looked at her how can that be people fancy wrong things sometimes but why of course so unprepared as i was without a stick of furniture and hardly a shilling i shouldn t have hurried on our affair and brought you to a half furnished hut before i was ready if it had not been for the news you gave me which made it necessary to save you ready or no good god don t take on dear what s done can t be undone i have no more to say he gave the answer simply and lay down and there was silence between them when awoke the next morning he seemed to see the world with a different eye as to the point in question he was compelled to accept her word in the circumstances he could not have acted otherwise while ordinary notions prevailed but how came they to prevail there se to him and dimly t something wrong in a social which made necessary a of well formed schemes years ol a man s on e opportunity to the tower animals and of his of work to the general progress of his generation because of a momentary surprise by a new and instinct which had nothing in it of the nature of vice a nd could be only at the most weakness he was inclined to inquire what he had done or the obscure she lost for that matter that he deserved to be caught in a gin which would him if not her also for the rest of a lifetime there was perhaps something fortunate in the fact that the immediate reason of his marriage had proved to be non but the marriage remained x the time arrived fer killing the pig which and his wife had in their during the autumn months and the was timed to take place as soon as it was light in the morning so that might get to without losing more than a quarter of a day the night had seemed strangely silent looked out of the window long before dawn and perceived that the ground was covered with snow snow rather deep for the season it seemed a few still falling i m afraid the pig won t be able to come he said to oh he ll come you must get up and make the water hot if you want to him though i like best i ll get up said i like the way of my own county he went down stairs lit the fire under the copper and began feeding it with all the time without a candle the blaze flinging a cheerful shine into the room though for him the sense of cheerfulness was lessened by thoughts on the reason of that blaze to heat water to an animal that as yet lived and whose voice could be continually heard from a corner of the garden at half past six the time of appointment with the butcher the water boiled and s wife came downstairs is come she asked no they waited and it grew lighter with the dreary light jo the obscure of a snowy dawn she went out gazed along the road and returning said he s not coming drunk last night i expect the snow is not enough to hinder him surely then we must put it off it is only the water boiled for nothing the snow may be deep in the valley	45
can t be put off there s no more for the pig he ate the last mixing o meal yesterday morning yesterday morning what has he lived on since nothing what he has been starving yes we always do it the last day or two to save bother with the in what ignorance not to know that that accounts for his crying so poor creature well you must do the sticking there s no help for it i ll show you how or i ll do it myself i think i could though as it is such a big pig i had rather had done it however his basket o knives and things have been already sent on here and we can use em n v of course you sha n t do it said i ll do it r since it must be done he went out to the away the snow for the space of a couple of yards or more and placed the stool in front with the knives and ropes at hand a robin peered down at the preparations from the nearest tree and not liking the sinister look of the scene flew away though hungry by this time had joined her husband and rope in hand got into the and the animal who beginning with a of surprise rose to repeated cries of rage opened the door and together they hoisted the victim on to the stool legs upward and while held him bound him down the cord over his legs to keep him from struggling the animal s note changed its quality it was not now at rage but the cry of despair long drawn slow and hopeless upon my soul i would sooner have gone without the pig than have had this to do said a creature i have fed with my own hands don t be such a tender hearted fool there s the sticking knife the one with the point now whatever you do don t stick un too deep i ll stick un effectually so as to make short work of it that s the chief thing you must not she cried the meat must be and to do that he must die slow we shall lose a shilling a score if the meat is red and bloody just touch the vein that s all i was brought up to it and i know every good butcher keeps un bleeding long he ought to be eight or ten minutes dying at least he shall not be half a minute if i can help it however the meat may look said the from the pig s throat as he had seen the do he the fat then plunged in the knife with all his might od damn it all she cried that ever i should say it you ve over stuck un and i telling you all the do be quiet and have a little pity on the creature however the deed it had been done the blood flowed out in a torrent instead of in the stream she had desired the dying animal s cry assumed its third and final tone the shriek of agony his eyes ri themselves on with the keen reproach of a creature at last the treachery of those who had seemed his only friends make un stop that said such a noise will bring somebody or other up here and i don t want people to know we are doing it ourselves picking up the obscure the knife from the ground whereon had flung it she slipped it into the and the wind pipe the pig was instantly silent his dying breath coming through the hole that s better she said it is a hateful business said he pigs must be killed the animal heaved in a final and despite the rope kicked out with all his last strength a of black came forth the of red blood having ceased for some seconds that s it now he ll go said she artful creatures they always keep back a drop like that as long as they can the last plunge had come so unexpectedly as to make and in recovering himself he kicked over the vessel in which the blood had been caught there she cried thoroughly in a passion now i can t make any there s a waste all through you put the pan upright out only about a third of the whole steaming liquid was left in it the main part being over the snow and forming a dismal sordid ugly spectacle to those who saw it as other than an ordinary obtaining of meat the lips and nostrils of the animal turned livid then white and the muscles of his limbs relaxed thank god said he s dead what s god got to do with such a job as a pig killing i should like to know she said scornfully poor folks must live i know i know said he i don t you suddenly they became aware of a voice at hand well done young married i couldn t have carried it out much better myself me if i could the voice which was came from the garden gate and looking up from the scene of slaughter they saw the at form of mr leaning over the gate surveying their performance tis well for ee to stand there and said owing to your being late the meat is blooded and half spoiled t won t fetch so much by a shilling a score expressed his you should have waited a bit he said shaking his head and not have done this in the delicate state too that you be in at present ma am tis yourself too much you needn t be concerned about that said laughing too laughed but there was a strong flavor of bitterness in his amusement made up	45
for his neglect of the killing by zeal in the and felt dissatisfied with himself as a man at what he had done though aware of his lack of common sense and that the deed would have amounted to the same thing if carried out by the white snow stained with the blood of his wore an look to him as a lover of justice not to say a christian but he could not see how the matter was to be mended no doubt he was as his wife had called him a tender hearted fool he did not like the road to now it stared him in the face the way side objects reminded him so much of his courtship of his wife that to keep them out of his eyes he read whenever he could as he walked to and from his work yet he sometimes felt that by caring for books he was not escaping commonplace nor gaining rare ideas every working man being of that taste now when passing near the spot by the stream on which he had first made her acquaintance he one day heard voices just as he had done at that earlier time one of the girls who had been s companions was talking to a friend in a shed himself being the subject of discourse possibly because they had seen him in the distance they were quite unaware that the the obscure shed walls were so thin that he could hear their words as he passed twas i put her up to it nothing venture nothing have i said if i hadn t she d no more have been his mis ess than i tis my belief she knew before what had been put up to by this woman so that he should make her his mis ess otherwise wife the suggestion was unpleasant and it in his mind so much that instead of entering his own cottage when he reached it he flung his basket inside the garden gate and passed on determined to go and see his old aunt and get some supper there this made his arrival home rather late however was busy melting down from fat of the deceased pig for she had been out on a all day and so delayed her work lest what he had heard should lead him to say something to her he spoke little but was very and said among other things that she wanted some money seeing the book sticking out of his pocket she added that he ought to earn more an s wages are not meant to be enough to keep a wife on as a rule my dear then you shouldn t have had one come that s too bad when you know how it came about i ll declare afore heaven that i thought what i told you was true doctor thought so it was a good job for you that it wasn t so i don t mean that he said hastily i mean before that time i know it was not your fault but those women friends of yours gave you bad advice if they hadn t or you hadn t taken it we should at this moment have been free from a bond which not to matters both of us it may be very sad but it is true at who s been telling you about my friends what advice i insist upon your telling me i d rather not but you shall you ought to it is mean of ee not to very well and he hinted gently what had been revealed to him but i don t wish to dwell upon it let us say no more about it her manner that was nothing she said laughing coldly every woman has a right to do such as that the risk is hers i quite deny it she might if no life long penalty attached to it for the man or in his for herself if the weakness of the moment could end with the moment or even with the year but when effects stretch so far she should not go and do that which a man if he is honest or herself if he is otherwise what ought i to have done given me time why do you fuss yourself about melting down that pig s fat to night please put it away then i must do it to morrow morning it won t keep very do xi next morning which was sunday she resumed operations about ten o clock and the renewed work recalled the conversation which had accompanied it the night before and put her back into the same temper that s the story about me in is it that i ee much of a catch you was lord send as she warmed she saw some of s dear ancient on a table where they ought not to have been laid won t have them books here in the way she cried and seizing them one by one she began throwing them on the floor leave my books alone he said you might have thrown them aside if you had liked but as to them like that it is disgusting in the operation of making s hands had become with the hot and her fingers consequently left very perceptible on the book covers she continued deliberately to toss the books upon the floor till beyond bearing caught her by the arms to make her leave off somehow in doing so he loosened the of her hair and it rolled about her ears let me go she said promise to leave the books alone she hesitated let me go she repeated promise after a pause i do his hold and she crossed the room to the door out of which she went with a set face and into the highway here she began to up and at down	45
even now he might battle with his evil r and follow out his original intention by moving to a spot a little way off he uncovered the horizon in a direction there actually rose the faint a small dim hardly save by the eye of faith it was enough for him he would go to as soon as the term of his expired j he returned to his lodgings in a better mood and said his prayers part ii at save his own soul he hath no star i i the next move in s life was that in which he appeared gliding steadily onward through a dusky landscape of some three years later than had his courtship of and the of his coarse life with her he was walking towards city at a point a mile or two to the he had at last found himself clear of and he was out of his and with his tools at his back seemed to be in the way of making a new start the start to which the interruption involved in his intimacy and married experience with he had been looking forward for about ten years would now have been described as a young man with a forcible meditative and earnest rather than handsome cast of countenance he was of dark complexion with dark eyes and he wore a closely trimmed black beard of more advanced growth than is usual at his age this with his great mass of black curly hair was some trouble to him in and washing out the stone dust that settled on it in the pursuit of his trade his in the latter having been acquired in the country were of an all round sort including stone cutting free stone work for the restoration of churches and carving of a general kind in london he would probably have become and have made himself a a foliage perhaps a the obscure he had that afternoon driven in a cart from to the village nearest the city in this direction and was now walking the remaining four miles rather from choice than from necessity having always fancied himself arriving thus the ultimate impulse to come had had a curious origin one more nearly related to the side of him than to the intellectual as is often the case with young men one day while in lodgings at he had gone to to see his old aunt and had observed between the brass on her mantel piece the photograph of a pretty girlish face in a broad hat with folds under the brim like the rays of a he had asked who she was his grand aunt had replied that she was his cousin sue of the branch of the family and on further questioning the old woman had replied that the girl lived in ch though she did not know where or what she was doing his aunt would not give him the photograph but it haunted him and ultimately formed a in his latent intent of following his friend the school master thither he now paused at the top of a crooked and gentle and obtained his first near view of the city and it stood within hail of the border and almost with the tip of one small toe within it at the point of the line along which the leisurely thames strokes the fields of that ancient kingdom the buildings now lay quiet in the sunset a here and there on their many and giving sparkle to a picture of sober secondary and hues reaching the bottom he moved along the level way between growing indistinct in the twilight and soon confronted the lamps of the town some of those lamps which had sent into the sky the at gleam and glory that caught his strained gaze in his days of dreaming so many years ago they winked their yellow eyes at him and as if though they had been awaiting him all these years in disappointment at his they did not much want him now he was a species of dick whose spirit was touched to finer issues than a mere material gain he went along the streets with the cautious tread of an he saw nothing of the real city in the on this side his first want being a lodging he carefully such as seemed to offer on terms the modest type of accommodation he demanded and after inquiry took a room in a nick named though he did not know this at the time himself and having had some tea forth it was a windy whispering night to guide himself he opened under a lamp a map he had brought the breeze ruffled and fluttered it but he could see enough to decide on the direction he should take to reach the heart of the place after many he came up to the first ancient pile that he had encountered it was a college as he could see by the he entered it walked round and penetrated to dark corners which no reached close to this college was another and a little farther on another and then he began to be encircled as it were with the breath and sentiment of the venerable city when he passed objects out of harmony with general expression he allowed his eyes to slip over them as if he did not see them a bell began and he listened till a hundred and one strokes had sounded he must have made a mistake he thought it was meant for a hundred when the gates were shut and he could no longer get into the he under the walls and feeling with his fingers the of their r j the obscure and carving the minutes passed fewer and fewer people were visible and still he among the shadows for had he not imagined these scenes through ten by gone	45
years and what mattered a night s rest for once high against the black sky the flash of a lamp would show and down obscure apparently never trodden now by the foot of man and whose very existence seemed to be forgotten there would into the path of enriched and design their extinct air being by the of the stones it seemed impossible that modern thought could house itself in such and chambers knowing not a human being here began to be impressed with the of his own personality as with a self the sensation being that of one who walked but could not make himself seen or heard he drew his breath and seeming thus almost his own ghost gave his thoughts to the other ghostly with which the were haunted the interval of preparation for this venture since his wife and furniture s promising disappearance into space he had read and learned almost all that could be read and learned by one in his position of the who had spent their youth within these reverend walls and whose souls had haunted them in their age some of them by the accidents of his reading loomed out in his fancy large by comparison with the rest the brushing of the wind against the angles and door were as the passing of these only other inhabitants the of each ivy leaf on its neighbor were as the of their mournful souls the shadows as their thin shapes in nervous movement making him comrades in his solitude in i the gloom it was as if he ran against them without feeling their bodily frames at the streets were now deserted but on account of these things he could not go in there were poets abroad of early date and of late from the friend and of shakespeare down to him who has recently passed into silence and that musical one of the tribe who is still among us philosophers passed along not always with wrinkled and hair as in framed portraits but pink faced slim and active as in youth modern in their among whom the most real to were the of the religious school called the well known three the the poet and the the echoes of whose had influenced him even in his fl r a start of aversion appeared in his fancy to move them at sight of those other sons of the place the form in the full wig a t and the smoothly shaven historian so civil to christianity with others of the same incredulous temper who knew each as well as the faithful and took equal freedom in haunting its he regarded the in their various types men of firmer movement and less dreamy air the scholar the speaker the the man whose mind grew with his growth in years and the man whose mind contracted with the same the an d followed on in his in an odd impossible combination men of meditative faces lined and weak eyed as with constant then official characters such men as governor and lord in whom he took little interest chief and lord silent thin figures of whom he knew barely the names a regard attached to the by reason of his own former hopes of them he had an ample band some men of heart others rather men of head he who for the church in latin the the obscure author of the evening hymn and near them the great preacher hymn writer and like by his matrimonial difficulties found himself speaking out loud holding conversations with them as it were like an actor in a who the audience on the other side of the till he suddenly ceased with a start at his absurdity perhaps those words of the wanderer were heard within the walls by some student or over his lamp and he may have raised his head and wondered what voice it was and what it now perceived that so far as solid flesh went he had the whole aged city to himself with the exception of a here and there and that he seemed to be catching a cold a voice reached him out of the shade a real and local voice you ve been a a long time on that young man what you be up to it came from a policeman who had been observing without the latter observing him went home and to bed after reading up a little about these men and their several messages to the world from a book or two that he had brought with him concerning the sons of the university as he drew towards sleep various memorable words of theirs that he had just been seemed spoken by them in muttering some audible some unintelligible to him fl one of the who afterwards at as the home of lost causes though did not remember this was now her thus beautiful city so so lovely o by the fierce intellectual life of our century so serene her charm keeps ever calling us to the true goal of all the ideal to perfection another voice was that of the corn law convert whose phantom he had just seen in the with at the great bell thought his soul might have been the historic words of his master speech f sir i may be wrong but my impression is that my duty towards a country threatened with famine requires that that which has been the ordinary remedy under all similar circumstances should be resorted to now namely that there should be free access to the food of man from whatever quarter it may come deprive me of office to morrow you can never deprive me of the consciousness that i have exercised the powers committed to me from no corrupt or interested motives from no desire to gratify ambition for no personal gain then the sly author of the immortal chapter on christianity	45
how shall we excuse the of the pagan and philosophic world to those evidences miracles which were presented by the of greece and rome turned aside from the awful spectacle and appeared unconscious of any alterations in the moral or physical government of the world then the shade of the poet the last of the how the world is made for each of us and each of the many helps to the life of the race by a general plan then one of the three he had seen just now the author of the my argument was that absolute as to the truths of natural was the result of an assemblage of and that which did not reach to logical certainty might create a mental the second of them no murmured things why should we faint and fear to live alone since all alone so heaven has will d we die the obscure he likewise heard some phrases spoken by the phantom with the short face the genial spectator when i look upon the of the great every motion of envy dies in me when i read the of the beautiful every desire goes out when i meet with the grief of parents upon a my heart with compassion when i see the of the parents themselves i consider the vanity of for those whom we must quickly follow and lastly a gentle spoke during whose meek familiar rhyme to him from earliest childhood fell asleep t teach me to live that i may dread the grave as little as my bed teach me to die he did not wake till morning the ghostly past seemed to have gone and everything spoke of to day he started up in bed thinking he had himself and then said by jove i had quite forgotten my sweet faced cousin and that she s here all the time and my old school master too his words about his school master had perhaps less zest in them than his words concerning his cousin necessary meditations on the actual including the mean bread and cheese question dissipated l or a while and compelled to high under immediate needs he had to get up and seek for work manual work the only kind deemed by many of its professors to be work at all passing out into the streets on this errand he found that the had changed their sympathetic countenances some were stern some had put on the look of family above ground something loomed in the all the spirits of the great men had disappeared the pages around him he read naturally less as an artist critic of their forms than as an and comrade of the dead whose muscles had actually executed those forms he examined the them as one who knew their beginning said they were difficult or easy in the working had taken little or much time were trying to the arm or convenient to the tool what at night had been perfect and ideal was by day the more or less real had he perceived been inflicted on the aged the condition of several moved him as he would have been moved by beings they were wounded broken off their outer shape in the deadly struggle against years weather and man the of these historical documents reminded him that he was not after all hastening on to begin the i the obscure morning practically as he had intended he had come to work and to live by work and the morning had nearly gone it was in one sense encouraging to think that in a place of crumbling stones there must be plenty for one of his trade to do in the business of he asked his way to the work yard of the stone whose name had been given him at and soon heard the familiar sound of the and the yard was a little centre of here with keen edges and smooth curves were forms in the exact likeness of those he had seen and time eaten on the walls these were the ideas in modern prose which the presented in old poetry even some of those might have been called prose when they were new they had done nothing but wait and had become poetical how easy to the smallest building how impossible to most men he asked for the and looked round among the new shafts and standing on the half worked or waiting to be removed they were marked by precision there in the old walls were the broken lines of the original idea jagged curves disdain of precision for a moment there fell on a true illumination that here in the stone yard was a centre of as worthy as that dignified by the name of study within the noblest of the but he lost it under stress of his old idea he would accept any employment which might be offered him on the strength of his late employer s recommendation but he would accept it as a thing only this was his form of the modern vice of moreover he perceived that at best only and went on here which he fancied to be owing to some temporary and local cause he did not at at that time see that was as dead as a leaf in a lump of coal that other were in the world around him in which architecture and its associations had no place the deadly of contemporary logic and vision towards so much of what he held in reverence was not yet revealed having failed to obtain work here as yet he went away and thought again of his cousin whose presence somewhere at hand he seemed to feel in of interest if not of emotion how he wished he had that pretty trait of her at last he wrote to his aunt to send it she j did so with a request	45
however that he was not to bring disturbance into the family by going to see the girl or her relations a affectionate fellow promised nothing put the photograph on the mantel piece kissed it he did not know why and felt more at home she seemed to look down and over his tea it was cheering the one thing him to the emotions of the living city there remained the school master probably now a reverend parson but he could not possibly hunt up such a respectable man just yet so raw and was his condition so precarious were his fortunes thus he still remained in loneliness although people moved round him he saw none not as yet having mingled with the active life of the place it was largely non to him but the saints and in the window the paintings in the galleries the statues the the the heads these seemed to breathe his atmosphere like all new comers to a spot on which the past is deeply he heard that past announcing itself with an emphasis altogether by and even incredible to the habitual for many days he haunted the and of the at odd minutes in passing them surprised by echoes of his own footsteps smart as the blows of a the sentiment as it d the obscure had been called ate further and further into him till he probably knew more about those buildings materially and than any one of their inmates it was not till now when he found himself actually on the spot of his enthusiasm that perceived how far away from the object of that enthusiasm he really was only a wall divided him from those happy young of his with whom he shared a common mental life men who had nothing to do from morning till night but to read mark learn and inwardly only a wall but what a wall every day every hour as he went in search of labor he saw them going and coming also rubbed shoulders with them heard their voices marked their movements the conversation of some of the more thoughtful among them seemed owing to his long and persistent preparation for this place to be peculiarly akin to his own though ts he was as far from them as if he had been at the anti j of course he was he was a young workman in a white and with stone dust in the of his clothes and in passing him they did not even see him or hear him rather saw through him as through a pane of glass at their beyond whatever they were to him he to them was not on the spot at all and yet he had fancied he would be close to their lives by coming there but the future lay ahead after all and if he could only be so fortunate as to get into good employment he would put up with the inevitable so he thanked god for his health and strength and took courage for the present he was outside the gates of everything included perhaps some day he would be inside those palaces of light and leading he might some day look down on the world through their panes at length he did receive a message from the s yard that a job was waiting for him it was his first encouragement and he closed with the offer promptly at he was young and strong or he never could have executed with such zest the to which he now applied himself since they involved reading most of the night after working all the day first he bought a shaded lamp for four and sixpence and obtained a good light then he got pens paper and such other necessary books as he had been unable to obtain elsewhere then to the consternation of his landlady he shifted all the furniture of his room a single one for living and sleeping up a curtain on a rope across the middle to make a double chamber out of one hung up a thick blind that nobody should know how he was the hours of sleep laid out his books and sat down having been deeply by marrying getting a cottage and buying the furniture which had disappeared in the wake of his wife he had never been able to save any money since the time of those disastrous and till his wages began to come in he was obliged to live in the way after buying a book or two he could not even afford himself a fire and when the nights with the raw and cold air from the meadows he sat over his lamp in a great coat hat and gloves from his window he could perceive the spire of the cathedral and the dome under which the great bell of the city the tall tower tall windows and tall of the college by the bridge he could also get a glimpse of by going to the staircase these objects he used as when his faith in the future was dim like in general he made no inquiries into details of picking up general notions from casual acquaintance he never dwelt upon them for the present he said to himself the one thing necessary was to get ready by money and knowledge and await whatever chances were afforded to such a one of becoming a son of the university for wisdom is a the obscure defence and money is a defence but the of knowledge is that wisdom life to them that have it his desire absorbed him and left no part of him to weigh its at this time he received a nervously anxious letter from his poor old aunt on the subject which had previously distressed her a fear that would not be strong minded enough to keep away from his cousin sue	45
and her relations sue s parents his aunt believed had gone to london but the girl remained at to make her still more objectionable she was an artist or of some sort in what was called an which was a perfect seed bed of and she was no doubt abandoned to on that account if not quite a miss was of her date as was rather on an intellectual track than a this news of sue s probable opinions did not much influence him one way or the other but the to her whereabouts was decidedly interesting with an altogether singular pleasure he walked at his earliest spare minutes past the shops answering to his great aunt s description and beheld in one of them a young girl sitting behind a desk who was suspiciously like the original of the portrait he ventured to enter on a trivial errand and having made his purchase lingered on the scene the shop seemed to be kept entirely by women it contained books and fancy goods little plaster angels on framed pictures of saints crosses that were almost that were almost he felt very shy of looking at the girl at the desk she was so pretty that he could not believe it possible that she should belong to him then she spoke to one of the two older women behind the counter and he recognized in the accents certain qualities of his own voice softened and but his own what was she doing he stole a glance at round before her lay a piece of cut to the shape of a three or four feet long and with a paint on one side she was or in characters of church text the single word a sweet christian business hers thought he her presence here was now fairly enough explained her skill in work of this sort having no doubt been acquired from her father s occupation as an in metal the on which she was engaged was clearly intended to be fixed up in some to assist devotion he came out it would have been easy to speak to her there and then but it seemed scarcely his aunt to disregard her request so she had used him roughly but she had brought him up and the fact of her being powerless to control him lent a pathetic force to a wish that would have been as an argument so gave no sign he would not call upon sue just yet he had other reasons against doing so when he had walked away she seemed so dainty beside himself in his rough working jacket and dusty trousers that he felt he was as yet to encounter her as he had felt about mr and how possible it was that she had inherited the of her family and would scorn him as far as a christian could particularly when he had told her that unpleasant part of his history which had resulted in his becoming to one of her own sex whom she would certainly not admire thus he kept watch over her and liked to feel she was there the consciousness of her living presence stimulated him but she remained more or less an ideal the obscure about whose form he began to curious and fantastic day dreams between two and three weeks afterwards was engaged with some more men outside college in old time street in getting a block of worked from a wagon across the pavement before it to the which they were standing in position the head man said when ye heave and they heaved all of a sudden as he lifted his cousin stood close to his elbow pausing a moment on the bend of her foot till the object should have been removed she looked right into his face with liquid eyes that combined or seemed to him to combine with tenderness and mystery with both their expression as well as that of her lips taking its life from some words just spoken to a companion and being carried on into his face quite unconsciously she no more observed his presence than that of the dust which his raised into the his to her was so suggestive that he trembled and turned his face away with a shy instinct to prevent her him though as she had never once seen him she could not possibly do so and might very well never have heard even his name he could perceive that though she was a country girl at bottom a latter of some years in london and a womanhood here had taken all out of her when she was gone he continued his work reflecting on her he had been so caught by her influence that he had taken no count of her general mould and build he remembered now that she was not a large figure that she was light and slight of the type elegant that was about all he had seen there was nothing in her all was nervous motion she was living yet a painter might not have called her handsome or beautiful but the much that she was sur at i a him she was quite a long way removed from that was his how could one of his jf unfortunate almost accursed stock have to reach this pitch of london done it he supposed from this moment the emotion which had been in his breast as the up effect of solitude and the locality he dwelt in began to itself on this half visionary form and he perceived that whatever his obedient wish in a contrary direction he would soon be unable to resist the desire to make himself known to her he affected to think of her quite in a family way since there were crushing reasons why he should not and could not think of her in any other the first reason was that he was married and	45
it would be wrong the second was that they were cousins it was not well for cousins to fall in love even when circumstances seemed to favor the passion the third even were he free in a family like his own where marriage usually meant a tragic sadness marriage with a blood relation i would the adverse conditions and a tragic sadness might be to a tragic horror therefore again he would have to think of sue with only a relation s mutual interest in one belonging to him regard her in a practical way as some one to be proud of to talk and nod to later on to be invited to tea by the emotion spent on her being that of a man and well so would she be to him a kindly star an power a companion in worship a tender friend ill but under the various influences s instinct was to approach her timidly and the next sunday he went to the morning service in the cathedral church of cardinal college to gain a further view of her for he had found that she frequently attended there she did not come and he awaited her in the afternoon which was finer he knew that if she came at all she would approach the building along the eastern side of the great green from which it was accessible and he stood in a corner while the bell was going a few minutes before the hour for service she appeared as one of the figures walking along under the college walls and at sight of her he advanced up the side opposite and followed her into the building more than ever glad that he had not as yet revealed himself to see her and to be himself unseen and unknown was enough for him at present he lingered a while in the and the service was some way advanced when he was put into a seat it was a mournful still afternoon when a religion of some sort seems a necessity to ordinary practical men and not only a luxury of the and classes in the dim light and the glare of the story windows he could discern the opposite only but he saw that sue was among them he had not long discovered the exact seat that she occupied when the of the th in which the choir was engaged reached its second part in at i the organ changing to a pathetic tune as the singers gave forth shall a young man his way it was the very question that was engaging s attention at this moment what a wicked worthless fellow he had been to give vent as he had done to an animal passion for a woman and allow it to lead to such disastrous consequences then to think of putting an end to himself then to go and get drunk the great waves of music tumbled round the choir and nursed on the supernatural as he had been it is not wonderful that he could hardly believe that the was not specially set by some providence for this moment of his first entry into the solemn building and yet it was the ordinary for the twenty fourth evening of the month the girl for whom he was beginning to an extraordinary tenderness was at this time by the same as those which floated into his ears and the thought was a delight to him she was probably a of this place and body and soul in church sentiment as she must be by occupation and habit had no doubt much in common with him to an and lonely young man the consciousness of having at last found for his thoughts which promised to supply both social and spiritual possibilities was like the dew of and he remained throughout the service in a atmosphere of ecstasy though he was loth to suspect it some people might have said to him that the atmosphere blew as distinctly from as from waited till she had left her seat and passed under the screen before he himself moved she did not look towards him and by the time he reached the door she was half way down the broad path being dressed up in the obscure his sunday suit he was inclined to follow her and reveal himself but he was not quite ready and alas ought he to do so with the kind of feeling that was awakening in him for though it had seemed to have an basis during the service and he had persuaded himself that such was the case he could not altogether be blind to the real nature of the she was such a stranger that the was affectation and he said it can t be i a man with a wife must hot know her still sue was his own kin and the fact of his having a wife even though she was not in evidence in this might be a help in one sense it would put all thought of a tender wish on his part out of sue s mind and make her intercourse with him free and fearless it was with some that he saw how little he cared for the freedom and that would result in her from such knowledge some little time before the date of this service in the cathedral the pretty liquid eyed light footed young woman sue had an afternoon s holiday and leaving the establishment in which she not only assisted but lodged took a walk into the country with a book in her hand it was one of those days which sometimes occur in and elsewhere between days of cold and wet as if by caprice of the weather god she went along for a mile or two until she came to much higher ground than that of the city she had left behind her the road passed between green fields	45
ve seen her about here and there why yes she s the daughter of that clever chap who did all the wrought at st s ten years ago and went away to london afterwards i don t know what he s doing now not much i fancy as she s come back here meanwhile the young woman had knocked at the office door and asked if mr was at work in the yard it so happened that had gone out somewhere or other that afternoon which information she received with a look of disappointment and went away immediately when returned they told him and described her whereupon he exclaimed why that s my cousin sue he looked along the street after her but she was out of sight he had no longer any thought of a conscientious of her and resolved to call upon her that very evening and when he reached his lodging he found a note from her a first note one of those documents which simple and commonplace in themselves are seen to have been with impassioned consequences the very of a s the obscure drama which is shown in such innocent first from women to men or vice makes them when such a drama follows and they are read over by the purple or lurid light of it all the more impressive solemn and in cases terrible sue the most and natural kind she addressed him as her dear cousin said she had only just learned by the merest accident that he was r ing in and reproached him with not letting her know they might have had such nice times together she said for she was thrown much upon herself and had hardly any congenial friend but now there was every probability of her soon going away so that the chance of companionship would be lost perhaps forever a cold sweat at the news that she was going away that was a he had never thought of and it him to write all the more quickly to her he would meet her that very evening he said one hour from the time of writing at the cross in the pavement which marked the spot of the when he had despatched the note by a boy he regretted that in his hurry he should have suggested to her to meet him out of doors when he might have said he would call upon her it was in fact the country custom to meet thus and nothing else had occurred to him had been met in the same way unfortunately and it might not seem respectable to a dear girl like sue however it could not be helped now and he moved towards the point a few minutes before the hour under the glimmer of the newly lighted lamps the broad street was silent and almost deserted although it was not late he saw a figure on the other side which turned out to be hers and they both towards the cross mark at the same moment before either had reached it she called out to him i am not going to meet you just there for the first time in my life come farther on at the voice though positive and silvery had been tremulous they walked on in parallel lines and waiting her pleasure watched till she showed signs of closing in when her did likewise the place being where the carts stood in the though there were none on the spot then i am sorry that i asked you to meet me and didn t call began with the of a lover but i thought it would save time if we were going to walk oh i don t mind that she said with the freedom of a friend i have really no place to ask anybody in to what i meant was that the place you chose was so horrid i suppose i ought not to say i mean gloomy and but isn t it funny to begin like this when i don t know you yet she looked him up and down curiously though did not look much at her you seem to know me more than i know you she added yes i have seen you now and then and you knew who i was and didn t speak and now i am going away yes that s unfortunate i have hardly any other friend i have indeed one very old friend here somewhere but i don t quite like to call on him just yet i wonder if you know anything of him mr a parson somewhere about the country i think he is i only know of one mr he lives a little way out in the country at he s a village school master ah i wonder if he s the same surely it is impossible only a school master still do you know his christian name is it richard yes it is i ve directed books to him though i ve never seen him then he couldn t do it s countenance fell for how could he succeed in an enterprise wherein the great had failed he il the obscure would have had a day of despair if the news had not arrived during his sweet sue s presence but even at this moment he had visions of how s failure in the grand university scheme would him when she had gone as we are going to take a walk suppose we go and call upon him said suddenly it is not late she agreed and they went along up a hill and through some prettily wooded country presently the tower and square of the church rose into the sky and then the school house they inquired of a person in the street if mr was likely to be at home and were informed that he	45
was always at home a knock brought him to the school house door with a candle in his hand and a look of inquiry on his face which had grown thin and since last set eyes on him that after all these years the meeting with mr should be of this homely complexion destroyed at one stroke the which had surrounded the s figure in s imagination since their parting it created in him at the same time a sympathy with as an obviously much and disappointed man told him his name and said he had come to see him as an old friend who had been kind to him in his youthful days i don t remember you in the least said the thoughtfully you were one of my pupils you say yes no doubt but they number so many thousands at this time of my life and have naturally changed so much that i remember very few except the quite recent ones it was out at said wishing he had not come yes i was there a short time and is this an old pupil too that s my cousin i wrote to you for some if you recollect and you sent them at ah yes i do dimly recall that incident it was very kind of you to do it and it was you who first started me on that course on the morning you left when your goods were on the wagon you wished me good bye and said your scheme was to be a university man and enter the church that a degree was the necessary hall mark of one who wanted to do anything as a or teacher i remember i thought all that privately but i wonder i did not keep my own counsel the idea was given up years ago i have never forgotten it it was that which brought me to this part of the country and out here to see you to night come in said and your cousin too they entered the parlor of the school house where there was a lamp with a paper shade which threw the light down on three or four books took it off so that they could see each other better and the rays fell on the nervous little face and dark eyes and hair of sue on the earnest features of her cousin and on the school master s own face and figure showing him to be a spare and thoughtful personage of five with a thin somewhat refined mouth a slightly stooping habit and a black frock coat which from continued shone a little at the the middle of the back and the elbows the old friendship was renewed the school master speaking of his experiences and the cousins of theirs he told them that he still thought of the church sometimes and that though he could not enter it as he had intended to do in former years he might enter it as a meanwhile he said he was comfortable in his present position though he was in want of a they did not stay to supper sue having to be in doors before it grew late and the road was to christ i il the obscure though they had talked of nothing more than general subjects was surprised to find what a revelation of woman his cousin was to him she was so that everything she did seemed to have its source in feeling an exciting thought would make her walk ahead so fast that he could hardly keep up with her and her sen on some points was such that it might have been as vanity it was with heart sickness he i perceived that while her sentiments towards him were j those of the friendliness only he loved her more i than before becoming acquainted with her and the gloom of the walk home lay not in the night overhead but in the thought of her departure why must you leave be said how can you do otherwise than cling to a city in whose history such men as ward loom so large yes they do though how large do they loom in the history of the world what a funny reason for caring to stay i should never have thought of it she laughed well i must go she continued miss one of the partners whom i serve is offended with me and i with her and it is best to go how did that happen she broke some of mine oh yes she found it in my room and though it was my property she threw it on the floor and stamped on it because it was not according to her taste and ground the arms and the head of one of the figures all to bits with her heel a horrid thing too catholic for her i suppose no doubt she called them images and talked of the of saints no no she didn t do that she saw the matter quite differently ah then i am surprised i at yes it was for quite some other reason that she didn t like my patron saints so i was led to retort upon her and the end of it was that i resolved not to stay but to get into an occupation in which i shall be more independent why don t you try teaching again you once did i heard i never thought of it for i was getting on as an art do let me ask mr to let you try your hand in his school if you like it and go to a training college and become a first class mistress you get twice as large an income as any or church artist and twice as much freedom well ask him now i must go in good bye dear i am so glad we have	45
met at last we needn t quarrel because our parents did need we did not like to let her quite see how much he agreed with her and went his way to the remote street in which he had his lodging to keep sue near him was now a desire which without regard of consequences and the next evening he again set out for fearing to trust to the effects of a note only the was unprepared for such a proposal what i rather wanted was a second year s transfer as it is called he said of course your cousin would do personally but she has had no experience oh she has has she does she really think of teaching as a profession said she was disposed to do so he thought and his ingenious arguments on her natural fitness for assisting mr of which knew nothing whatever so influenced the school master that he said he would engage her assuring as a friend that unless his cousin really meant to follow on in the same course and regarded this step as the first stage of an the obscure ship of which her training in a normal school would be the second stage her time would be wasted quite the salary being merely the day after this visit received a letter from containing the information that he had again consulted his cousin who took more and more warmly to the idea of and that she had agreed to come it did not occur for a moment to the school master and that s in the arrangement arose from any other feelings towards sue than the instinct of co operation common among members of the same family i the school master sat in his homely dwelling attached to the school both being modern and he looked across the way at the old house in which his teacher sue had a lodging the arrangement had been concluded very quickly a pupil teacher who was to have been transferred to mr s school had failed him and sue had been taken as stop gap all such arrangements as these could only last till the next annual visit of h m whose approval was necessary to make them permanent having taught for some two years in london though she had abandoned that of late miss was not exactly an and thought there would be no difficulty in retaining her services which he already wished to do though she had only been with him three or four weeks he had found her quite as bright as had described her and what master does not wish to keep an who him half his labor it was a little over half past eight o clock in the morning and he was waiting to see her cross the road to the school when he would follow at twenty minutes to nine she did cross a light hat tossed on her head and he a watched her as a curiosity a new which had nothing to do with her skill as a teacher seemed to surround her this morning he went to the school also and sue remained governing her class at the other end of the room all day under his eye she certainly was an excellent teacher it was part of his duty to give her private lessons in the obscure the evening and some article in the code made it necessary that a respectable elderly woman should be present at these lessons when the teacher and the taught were of different sexes richard thought of the absurdity of the in this case when he was old enough to be the girl s father but he faithfully acted up to it and sat down with her in a room where mrs the widow at whose house sue lodged occupied herself with sewing the was indeed not easy to for there was no other sitting room in the dwelling sometimes as she figured it was that they were working at she would involuntarily glance up with a little inquiring smile at him as if she assumed that being the master he must perceive all that was passing in her brain as right or wrong was not really thinking of the at all but of her in a novel way which somehow seemed strange to him as perhaps she knew that he was thinking of her thus for a few weeks their work had gone on with a monotony which in itself was a delight to him then it happened that the children were to be taken to to see an exhibition in the shape of a model of to which schools were admitted at a penny a head in the interests of education they marched along the road two and two she beside her class with her simple cotton her little thumb cocked up against its stem and behind in his long dangling coat handling his walking stick in the musing mood which had come over him since her arrival the afternoon was one of sun and dust and when they entered the exhibition room few people were present but themselves the model of the ancient city stood in the middle of the apartment and the proprietor with a fine religious written on his features walked round it at with a in his hand showing the young people the various quarters and places known to them by name from reading their mount the valley of the city of the walls and the gates outside one of which there was a large mound like a and on the mound a little white cross the spot he said was i think said sue to the school master as she stood with him a little in the background that this model elaborate as it is is a very imaginary production how does anybody know that was like this in the time of christ i am	45
sure this man doesn t it is made after the best maps based on actual visits to the city as it now exists li t r ru i we have had enough of u i she said j p r not descended from the jews x w w as nothing first rate about the place people after x i q f as there was about rome r f l tb p r old cities wi but my dear girl consider what it is to us she was silent for she was easily repressed and then perceived behind the group of children clustered round the model a young man in a white flannel jacket his form being bent so low in his intent inspection of the valley of that he was almost hidden from view by the mount of look at your cousin continued the school master he doesn t think we have had enough of ah i didn t see him she cried in her quick light voice how seriously you are going into it started up from his reverie and saw her oh sue he said with a glad flush of embarrassment these are your school children of course i saw that schools were admitted in the and thought you might come but i got so deeply interested that i didn t remember where i was how it carries one back doesn t it i could examine it for hours but i have only a few the obscure minutes unfortunately for i am in the middle of a job out here your cousin is so terribly clever that she it said with good satire she is quite as to its no mr i am not altogether i hate to be what is called a clever girl there are too many of that sort now answered sue i only meant i don t know what i meant except that it was what you don t understand know your meaning said although he did not and i think you are quite right that s a good i know you believe in me she seized his hand and leaving a look on the school master turned away to her voice revealing a tremor which she herself felt to be for by sarcasm so gentle she had not the least conception how the hearts of the twain went out to her at this momentary revelation of feeling and what a she was building up thereby in the of both the model wore too much of an aspect for the children not to tire of it soon and a little later in the afternoon they were all marched back to returning to his work he watched the flock in their clean and down the street towards the country beside and sue and a sad dissatisfied sense of being out of the scheme of the lives had possession of him had invited him to walk out and see them on friday evening when there would be no lessons to give to sue and had eagerly promised to avail himself of the opportunity meanwhile the scholars and teachers moved homeward and the next day on looking on the black board in sue s class was surprised to find upon it drawn in chalk a perspective view of with every building shown in its place at i thought you took no interest in the model and hardly looked at it he said i hardly did said she but i remembered that much of it it is more than i had remembered myself her majesty s school was at that time paying surprise visits in this neighborhood to test the teaching unawares and two days later in the middle of the morning lessons the latch of the door was softly lifted and in walked my gentleman the king of terrors to pupil teachers to mr the surprise was not great like the lady in the story he had been played that trick too many times to be unprepared but sue s class was at the farther end of the room and her back was towards the entrance the therefore came and stood behind her and watched her teaching some half minute before she became aware of his presence she turned and realized that an oft dreaded moment had come the effect upon her timidity was such that she uttered a cry of fright with a strange instinct of solicitude quite beyond his control was at her side just in time to prevent her falling from she soon recovered herself and laughed but when the had gone there was a reaction and she was so white that took her into his room and gave her some brandy to bring her round she found him holding her hand you ought to have told me she gasped that one of the s surprise visits was imminent oh what shall i do now he ll write and tell the that i am no good and i shall be disgraced forever he won t do that my dear little girl you are the best teacher ever i had he looked so gently at her that she was moved and regretted that she had him when she was better she went home in the mean time had been waiting impatiently for the obscure friday on both wednesday and thursday he had been so much under the influence of his desire to see her that he walked after dark some distance along the road in the i direction of the village and on returning to his room to found himself quite unable to his mind on the page on friday as soon as he had got himself up as he thought sue would like to see him and made a hasty tea he set out notwithstanding that the evening was wet the trees overhead deepened the gloom of the hour and they sadly	45
the neighbor told also of sue s accomplishments in other kinds she was not exactly a you know but she could do things that only boys do as a rule i ve seen her hit in and steer down the long slide oh yonder pond with her little curls blowing one of a file of twenty moving along against the sky like shapes painted on glass and up the back slide without stopping all boys except herself and then they d cheer her and then she d say don t be boys and suddenly run in doors they d try to her out again but a wouldn t come these visions of sue only made the more miserable that he was unable to her and he left the cottage of his aunt that day with a heavy heart he would fain have glanced into the school to see the room in which sue s little figure had so itself but he checked his desire and went on it being sunday evening some villagers who had known j him during his residence here were standing in a group in their best clothes was startled by a salute from one of them ye ve got there right enough then showed that he did not understand why to the seat of l the city of light you v at used to talk to us about as a little boy is it all you expected of it yes more cried when i was there once for an hour i didn t see much in it for my part crumbling buildings half church half and not much going on at that you are wrong john there is more going on than meets the eye of a man walking through the streets it is a unique centre of thought and religion the intellectual and spiritual of this country all that silence and absence of on is the stillness of infinite motion the sleep of the spinning top to borrow the of a writer oh well it be all that or it not as i say i didn t see nothing of it the hour or two i was there so i went in and had a pot o beer and a penny loaf and a ha o cheese and waited till it was time to come along home you ve j a college by this time i suppose ah no said i am almost as far off that as ever how so his pocket just what we thought such places be not for such as you only for them with plenty o money there you are wrong said with some bitterness they are for such ones still the remark was sufficient to withdraw s attention from the imaginative world he had lately inhabited in which an abstract figure more or less himself was his mind in a of the arts and and making his calling and election sure to a seat in the paradise of the learned he was set regarding his prospects in a cold northern light he had lately felt that he could not quite satisfy himself in his greek in the greek of the particularly so fatigued was he sometimes after his day s work that he could not the obscure maintain the critical attention necessary for thorough application he felt that he wanted a coach a friend at his elbow to tell him in a moment what sometimes would occupy him a weary month in from clumsy books it was decidedly necessary to consider facts a little more closely than he had done of late what was the good after all of using up his spare hours in a vague labor called private study without giving an outlook on i ought to have thought of this before he said as he a i back it would have been better never to have embarked in the scheme at all than to do it without see ing clearly where i am going or what i am at this hovering outside the walls of the as if expecting some arm to be stretched out from them to lift me inside won t do i must get special information the next week accordingly he sought it what at first seemed an opportunity occurred one afternoon when he saw an elderly gentleman who had been pointed out as the head of a particular college walking in the public path of a near the spot at which chanced to be sitting the gentleman came nearer and looked anxiously at his face it seemed considerate yet rather reserved on second thoughts felt that he could not go up and address him but he was sufficiently influenced by the incident to think what a wise thing it would be for him to state his difficulties by letter to some of the best and most judicious of these old masters and obtain their advice during the next week or two he accordingly placed himself in such positions about the city as would afford him glimpses of several of the most distinguished among the and other heads of houses and from those he saw he ultimately selected five whose seemed to say to him that they were and far seeing men to these five he addressed let at briefly stating his difficulties and asking their opinion on his situation when the letters were posted mentally began to them he wished they had not been sent it is just one of those vulgar pushing which are so common in these days he thought why couldn t i know better than address utter strangers in such a way i may be an an idle a man with a bad character for all that they know to the contrary perhaps that s what i am nevertheless he found himself clinging to the hope of some reply as to his one last chance of he	45
yourself as a working man i venture to think that you will have a much better chance of success in life by remaining in your own sphere and sticking to your trade than by any other course that therefore is what i advise you to do yours faithfully t to mr j stone this terribly sensible advice exasperated he had known all that before he knew it was true yet it seemed a hard slap after ten years of labor and its effect upon him just now was to make him rise from the table and instead of reading as usual to go downstairs and into the street he stood at a bar and tossed off two or three glasses then unconsciously sauntered along till he came to a spot called the in the middle of the city gazing at the groups of people like one in a trance till coming to himself he began talking to the policeman fixed there that officer yawned stretched out his elbows elevated himself an inch and a half on the balls of his toes smiled and looking at said you ve had a wet young man at no i ve only begun he replied whatever his his brains were dry enough he only heard in part the policeman s further remarks having fallen into thought on what struggling people like himself had stood at that whom nobody ever thought of now it had more history than the oldest college in the city it was literally with the shades of human groups who had met there for tragedy comedy farce real of the kind at men had stood and talked of napoleon the loss of america the execution of king charles the burning of the the the conquest possibly of the arrival of caesar here the two sexes had met for loving parting had waited had suffered for each other had over each other cursed each other in jealousy blessed each other in forgiveness he began to see that the town life was a book of infinitely more varied and ous than the gown life these struggling men and women j before him were the reality of though they knew little of christ or that was one of the j of things the floating population of students and teachers who did know both in a way were not in a local sense at all he looked at his watch and in pursuit of this idea he went on till he came to a public hall where a concert was in progress entered and found the room full of shop youths and girls soldiers boys of eleven smoking and light women of the more respectable and amateur class he had tapped the real life a band was playing and tne crowd walked about and each other and every now and then a man got upon a platform and sang a comic song the spirit of sue seemed to round him and prevent his and drinking with the girls who the obscure made advances wistful to gain a little joy at ten o clock he came away choosing a route homeward to pass the gates of the college whose head had just sent him the note the gates were shut and by an impulse he took from his pocket a lump of chalk which as a workman he usually carried there and wrote along the wall have understanding as well as you i am not inferior to you yea who not such things as these job xii vii the stroke of scorn relieved his mind and the next morning he laughed at his self conceit but the laugh was not a healthy one he re read the letter from the master and the wisdom in its lines which had at first exasperated him chilled and depressed him now he saw himself as a fool indeed deprived of the objects of both intellect and emotion he could not proceed to his work whenever he felt reconciled to his fate as a student there came to disturb his calm his hopeless relations with sue that the one soul he had ever met was lost to him through his marriage returned upon him with cruel till unable to bear it longer he again rushed for distraction to the real life he now sought it out in an obscure and low tavern up a court which was well known to certain of the place and in brighter times would have interested him simply by its here he sat more or less all the day convinced that he was at bottom a vicious character of whom it was hopeless to expect anything in the evening the of the house dropped in one by one still retaining his seat in the corner though his money was all spent and he had not eaten anything the whole day except a he surveyed his gathering companions with all the and philosophy of a man who has been drinking long and slowly and made friends with several to wit a decayed church iron who appeared to have been of a religious turn in earlier years but was the obscure somewhat now also a red also two like himself called uncle jim and uncle joe there were present too some clerks and a gown and maker s assistant two ladies who moral characters of various depths of shade according to their company bower o bliss and some men in the know of circles a travelling actor from the theatre and two devil may care young men who proved to be they had slipped in by to meet a man about bull and stayed to drink and smoke short pipes with the racing looking at their watches every now and then the conversation general society was the and other people in authority being sincerely pitied for their while opinions on how they ought to conduct themselves and their affairs to be properly respected	45
t hate me and despise me like all the rest of the world you are ill poor dear no i won t despise you of course i won t come in and rest and let me see what i can do for you now lean on me and don t mind with one hand holding the candle and the other supporting him she led him in doors and placed him in the only easy chair the furnished house afforded the obscure ing his feet upon another and pulling off his boots now getting towards his sober senses could only say dear dear sue in a voice broken by grief and she asked him if he wanted anything to eat but he shook his head then telling him to go to sleep and that she would come down early in the morning and get him some breakfast she bade him good night and ascended the stairs almost immediately he fell into a heavy slumber and did not wake till dawn at first he did not know where he was but by degrees his situation cleared to him and he beheld it in all the of a right mind she knew the worst of him the very worst how could he face her now she would soon be coming down to see about breakfast as she had said and there would he be in all his shame her he could not bear the thought and softly drawing on his boots and taking his hat from the nail on which she had hung it he slipped noiselessly out of the house his fixed idea was to get away to some obscure spot and hide and perhaps pray and the only spot which occurred to him was he called at his lodging in where he found awaiting him a note of dismissal from his employer and having packed up he turned his back upon t he city that had been such a thorn in his side and struck southward into he had no money left in his pocket his small deposited at one of the banks in having fortunately been left untouched to get to therefore his only course was walking and the distance being nearly twenty miles he had ample time to complete on the way the process begun in him at some hour of the evening he reached here he his waistcoat and having gone out of the town a mile or two slept under a that night at dawn he rose shook off the and stems from his at clothes and started again the long white road up the hill to the downs which had been visible to him a long way off and passing the at the top whereon he had carved his hopes years ago he reached the ancient hamlet while the people were at breakfast weary and mud but quite possessed of his ordinary clearness of brain he sat down by the well thinking as he did so what a poor christ he made seeing a ot water near he bathed his face k and went on to the cottage of his great aunt whom he found in bed attended by the woman who lived with her what out o work asked his relative regarding him through eyes sunken deep under heavy as no other cause for his tumbled appearance suggesting itself to one whose whole life had been a struggle with material things yes said heavily i think i must have a little rest refreshed by some breakfast he went up to his old room and lay down in his shirt sleeves after the manner of the he fell asleep for a short while and when he awoke it was as if he had awakened in hell it was hell the hell of conscious failure both in ambition and in love he thought x f that previous abyss into which he had fallen before leaving this part of the country the deepest deep he had supposed it then but it was not so deep as this that had been the breaking in of the outer of his hope this was of his second line if he had been a woman he must have screamed under the nervous which he was now but that relief being denied to his he his teeth in misery bringing lines about his mouth like those in the and between his brows a mournful wind blew through the trees and sounded the obscure in the chimney like the notes of an organ each ivy leaf the wall of the churchyard hard by now abandoned its neighbor and the on the new german church in the new spot had already begun to yet apparently it was not always the out door wind that made the deep murmurs it was a voice he guessed its origin in a moment or two the was praying with his aunt in the adjoining room he remembered her speaking of him presently the sounds ceased and a step seemed to cross the landing sat up and shouted the step made for his door which was open and a man looked in it was a young clergyman i think you are mr said my aunt has mentioned you more than once well here i am just come home a fellow gone to the bad though i had the best intentions in the world at one time now i am melancholy mad what with drinking and one thing and another slowly unfolded to the his late plans and movements by an unconscious bias dwelling less upon the intellectual and ambitious side of his dream and more upon the though this had up till now been merely a portion of the general plan of advancement now i know i have been a fool and that folly is with me added in conclusion and i don t regret the of my university hopes one i wouldn t begin again if	45
he duly looked about for a hotel and found a little establishment of that description in the street leading from the station when he had had something to eat he walked out into the dull winter light over the town bridge and turned the corner towards the close the day was the obscure and standing under the walls of the most graceful pile in england he paused and looked up the lofty building was visible as far as the roof ridge above the spire rose more and more till its was quite lost in the mist drifting across it the lamps now began to be lighted and turning to the west front he walked round he took it as a good omen that numerous blocks of stone were lying about which signified that the cathedral was restoration or repair to a considerable extent it seemed to him full of the of his that this was an exercise of on the part of a ruling power that he might find plenty to do in the art he practised while waiting for a call to higher labors then a wave of warmth came over him as he thought how near he now stood to the bright eyed girl with the broad forehead and pile of dark hair above it the girl with the glance soft at times something like that of the girls he had seen in from paintings of the spanish school she was here actually in this close in one of the houses this very west he went down the broad gravel path towards the building it was an ancient edifice of the century once a palace now a training school with and windows and a court yard in front shut in from the road by a wall opened the gate and went up to the door through which on inquiring for his cousin he was admitted to a waiting room and in a few minutes she came though she had been here such a short while she was not as he had seen her last all her bounding manner was gone her curves of motion had become subdued lines the and of had likewise disappeared yet neither was she quite the woman who had written the letter that summoned him that had plainly been dashed off in an impulse which second at thoughts had somewhat regretted thoughts that were possibly of his recent self disgrace was quite overcome with emotion you don t think me a wretch for coming to you as i was and going so sue oh i have tried not to you said enough to let me know what had caused it i hope i shall never have any doubt of your my poor and i am glad you have come she wore a colored gown with a little lace collar it was made quite plain and hung about her slight figure with clinging her hair which formerly she had worn according to the custom of the day was now twisted up tightly and she had altogether the air of a woman and by severe discipline an under brightness shining through from the depths which that discipline had not yet been able to reach she had come forward prettily but felt that she had hardly expected him to kiss her as he was burning to do under other colors than those of he could not perceive the least sign that sue regarded him as a lover or ever would do so now that she knew the worst of him even if he had the right to behave as one and this on his growing resolve to tell her of his matrimonial which he had put off doing from time to time in sheer dread of losing the bliss of her company sue came out into the town with him and they walked and talked with tongues only on the passing moments said he would like to buy her a little present of some sort and then she confessed with something of shame that she was dreadfully hungry they were kept on very short in the college and a dinner tea and supper all in one was the present she most desired in the world thereupon took her to an inn and ordered whatever the house afforded which was not much the place however gave them a delightful the obscure for a t te t te t nobody else being in the room and they talked freely she told him about the school as it was at that date and the rough living and the mixed character of her fellow students gathered together from all parts of the and how she had to get up and work by in the early morning with all the bitterness of a young person to whom restraint was new to all this he listened but it was not what he wanted especially to know her relations with that was what she did not tell when they had sat and eaten placed his hand upon hers she looked up and smiled and took his quite freely into her own little soft one dividing his fingers and coolly examining them as if they were the fingers of a glove she was your hands are rather rough aren t they she said yes so would yours be if they held a and all day i don t dislike it you know i think it is noble to see a man s hands subdued to what he works in well i m rather glad i came to this training school after all see how independent i shall be after the two years training i shall pass pretty high i expect and mr will use his influence to get me a big school she had touched the subject at last i had a suspicion a fear said that he cared about you rather warmly and perhaps wanted to	45
marry you now don t be such a silly boy he has said something about it i expect if he had what would it matter an old man like him oh come sue he s not so very old and i know what i saw him doing not kissing me that i m certain no but putting his arm round your waist at il tt ah i remember bat i didn t know he was going to you are out of it sue and it isn t quite kind her ever sensitive lip began to quiver and her eye to at something this reproof was deciding her to say i know you ll be angry if i tell you everything and that s why i don t want to very well then dear he said soothingly i have no real right to ask you and i don t wish to know i shall tell you said she h t h e p e that was part of this is what i have done i have i have that i will marry him when i come out of the train ing school two years hence and have got my his plan being that we shall then take a large double school in a great town he the boys and i the as married school teachers often do and make a good income between us oh sue but of course it is right you couldn t have done better he glanced at her and their eyes met the reproach in his own his words then he drew his hand quite away from hers and turned his face in from her to the window sue regarded him without moving i knew you would be angry she said with an air of no emotion whatever very well i am wrong i suppose i ought not to have let you come to see me we had better not meet again and we ll only correspond at long intervals on purely business matters this was just the one thing he would not be able to bear as she probably knew and it brought him round at once oh yes we will he said quickly your being engaged can make no difference to me whatever i have a perfect right to see you when i want to and i shall then don t let us talk of it any more it is quite our evening together what does it matter about what one is going to do two years hence i the obscure she was something of a riddle to him and he let the subject drift away shall we go and sit in the cathedral he asked when their meal was finished cathedral yes though i think i d rather sit in the railway station she answered a remnant of vexation still in her voice that s the centre of the town life now the cathedral has had its day how modern you are so would you be if you bad lived so much in the middle ages as i have done these last few years the cathedral was a very good place four or five centuries ago but it is played out now i am not modern either i am more ancient than if you only knew looked distressed there i won t say any more of that she cried only vo n t how bad i am from your point of view or you wouldn t think so much of me or care whether i was engaged or not now there s just time for us to walk round the close and then i must go in or i shall be locked out for the night he took her to the gate and they parted had a conviction that his unhappy visit to her on that sad night had this marriage engagement and it did anything but add to his happiness her reproach had taken that shape then and not the shape of words however next day he set about seeking employment which it was not so easy to get as at there being as a stone cutting in progress in this quiet city and hands being mostly permanent but he edged himself in by degrees his first work was some carving at the on the hill and ultimately he became engaged on the labor he most desired the cathedral which were very extensive the whole interior having been swept away to be replaced by new it might be a labor of years to get it all done and he at had confidence enough in his own skill with the and to feel that it would be a matter of choice with himself how long he would stay the lodgings he took near the close gate would not have disgraced a the rent representing a higher on his wages than of any sort usually care to pay his combined bed and sitting room was furnished with framed photographs of the and at which his landlady had lived as trusted servant in her time and the parlor down stairs bore a clock on the mantel piece inscribed to the effect that it was presented to the same serious minded woman by her fellow servants on the occasion of her marriage added to the furniture of his room by photographs of the and monuments that he had executed with his own hands and he was deemed a satisfactory acquisition as tenant of the vacant apartment he found an ample supply of books in the city book shops and with these his studies were in a different spirit and direction from his former course as a from the fathers and such stock works as and butler he read and many other modern lights he hired a set it up in his lodging and practised single and double ii to morrow is our grand day you know where	45
her reading at this the seventy murmured the sentence being they thought too severe a round robin was prepared and sent in to the principal asking for a of sue s punishment no notice was taken towards evening when the geography mistress began her subject the girls in the class sat with folded arms you mean that you are not going to work said the mistress at last i may as well tell you that it has been at ascertained that the young man stayed out with was not her cousin for the very good reason that she has no such relative we have written to to ascertain we are willing to take her word said the head girl this young man was discharged from his work at for and in and he has come here to live entirely to be near her however they remained stolid and motionless and the mistress left the room to inquire from her what was to be done presently towards dusk the pupils as they sat heard exclamations from the first year s girls in an adjoining class room and one rushed in to say that sue had got out of the back window of the room in which she had been confined escaped in the dark across the lawn and disappeared how she had managed to get out of the garden nobody could tell as it was bounded by the river at the bottom and the side door was locked they went and looked at the empty room the between the middle of which stood open the lawn was again searched with a lantern every bush and being examined but she was nowhere hidden then the porter of the front gate was and on reflection he said that he remembered hearing a sort of in the stream at the back but he had taken no notice thinking some ducks had come down the river from above she must have walked through the river said a mistress or herself said the porter the mind of the matron was not so much at the possible death of sue as at the possible half column that event in all the newspapers which added to the scandal of the year before would give the college an for many months to come the obscure more were procured and the river examined and then at last on the opposite shore which was open to the fields some little boot tracks were discerned in the mud which left no doubt that the too girl had through a depth of water reaching nearly to her shoulders for this was the chief river of the county and was mentioned in all the geography books with respect as sue had not brought disgrace upon the school by drowning herself the matron began to speak of her and to express gladness that she was gone on the self same evening sat in his lodgings by the close gate often at this hour after dusk he would enter the silent close and stand opposite the house that contained sue and watch the shadows of the girls heads passing to and fro upon the blinds and wish he had nothing else to do but to sit reading and learning all day what many of the thoughtless inmates despised but to night having finished tea and brushed himself up he was deep in the perusal of the twenty ninth volume of s library of the fathers a set of books which he had purchased of a second hand dealer at a price that seemed to him to be one of miraculous for that invaluable work he fancied he heard something rattle lightly against his window then he heard it again certainly somebody had thrown gravel he rose and gently lifted the from below sue yes it is can i come up without being seen oh yes then don t come down shut the window waited knowing that she could enter easily enough the front door being opened merely by a which anybody could turn as in most old country towns he at the thought that she had fled to him in her trouble as he had fled to her in his what they were he the door of his room at heard a stealthy rustle on the dark stairs and in a moment she appeared in the light of his lamp he went up to seize her hand and found she was as a marine deity and that her clothes clung to her like the robes upon the figures in the i m so cold she said through her chattering teeth can i come by your fire she crossed to his little grate and very little fire but as the water from her as she moved the idea of drying herself was absurd whatever have you done darling he asked with alarm the tender epithet slipping out unawares walked through the largest river in the county that s what i ve done they locked me up for being out with you and it seemed so unjust that i couldn t bear it so i got out of the window and escaped across the stream she had begun the explanation in her usual slightly independent tones but before she had finished the thin pink lips trembled and she could hardly refrain from crying dear sue he said you must take off all your things and let me see you must borrow some from the landlady i ll ask her no no don t let her know for god s sake we are so near the school that they ll come after me then you must put on mine you don t mind oh no my sunday suit you know it is close here in fact everything was close and handy in s single chamber because there was not room for it to be otherwise he opened a drawer took out his best dark	45
suit and giving the garments a shake said now how long shall i give you ten minutes left the room and went into the street where he walked up and down a clock struck half past seven and he returned sitting in his only arm chair he saw a slim and fragile being as himself on a sun the obscure day so pathetic in her that his heart felt big with the sense of it on two other chairs before the fire were her wet garments she blushed as he sat down beside her but only for a moment i suppose it is odd that you should see me like this and all my things hanging there yet what nonsense they are only a woman s clothes cloth and linen i wish i didn t feel so ill and sick will you dry my clothes now please do and i ll get a lodging by and by it is not late yet no you sha n t if you are ill you must stay here dear dear sue what can i get for you i don t know i can t help shivering i wish i could get warm put on her his great coat in addition and then ran out to the nearest public house whence he returned with a little bottle in his hand here s six of best brandy he said now you drink it dear all of it i can t out of the bottle can i fetched the glass from the dressing table and administered the spirit in some water she gasped a little but it down and lay back in the arm chair she then began to relate her experiences since they had parted but in the middle of her story her voice faltered her head nodded and she ceased she was in a sound sleep dying of anxiety lest she should have caught a chill which might permanently injure her was glad to hear the regular breathing he softly went nearer to her and observed that a warm flush now her hitherto blue cheeks and felt that her hanging hand was no longer cold then he stood with his back to the fire regarding her and saw in her almost a divinity iv s reverie was interrupted by the of footsteps ascending the stairs he sue s clothing from the chair where it was drying thrust it under the bed and sat down to his book somebody knocked and opened the door immediately it was the landlady oh i didn t know whether you was in or not mr i wanted to know if you would require supper i see you ve a young gentleman yes ma am but i think i won t come down tonight will you bring supper up on a tray and i ll have a cup of tea as well it was s custom to go down stairs to the kitchen and eat his meals with the family to save trouble his landlady brought up the supper however on this occasion and he took it from her at the door when she had descended he set the on the and drew out sue s clothes anew but they were far from dry a thick gown he found held a deal of water so he hung them up again and kept up his fire and mused as the steam from the garments went up the chimney suddenly she said yes all right how do you feel now better quite well why i fell asleep didn t i what time is it not late surely it is past ten is it really what shall i do she said starting up stay where you are the obscure yes that s what i want to do but i don t know what they would say and what will you do i am going to sit here by the fire all night and read to morrow is sunday and i haven t to go out anywhere perhaps you will be saved a severe illness by resting there don t be frightened i m all right look here what i have got for you some supper when she had sat upright she breathed and said i do feel rather weak still i thought i was well and i ought not to be here ought i but the supper fortified her somewhat and when she had had some tea and had lain back again she was bright and cheerful the tea must have been green or too long drawn for she seemed afterwards though who had not taken any began to feel heavy till her conversation fixed his attention you called me a creature of civilization or something didn t you she said breaking a silence it was very odd you should have done that why well because it is wrong i am a sort of of it you are very philosophical a is profound talking is it do i strike you as being learned she asked with a touch of not learned only you don t talk quite like a girl well a girl who has had no advantages i have had advantages i don t know latin and greek though i know the of those tongues but i know most of the greek and latin through and other books too i read martial and de me de foe shakespeare the bible and other such and found that all interest in the part of those books ended with its mystery at you have read more than i he said with a sigh how came you to read some of those ones well she said thoughtfully it was by accident my life has been entirely shaped by what people call a peculiarity in me i have no fear of men as such nor of their books i have mixed with them one or two of them particularly almost as one	45
about what was written in an old book like the bible i won t disturb your convictions i really won t she went on soothingly for now he was rather more ruffled than she but i did want and long to some man to high aims and when i saw you and knew you wanted to be my comrade i shall i confess it thought that man might be you but you take so much tradition on trust that i don t know what to say well dear i suppose one must take some things on trust life isn t long enough to work out everything in problems before you believe it i take christianity well perhaps you might take something worse indeed i might perhaps i have done so he thought of i won t ask what because we are going to be very nice with each other aren t we and never never vex each other any more she looked up and her voice seemed trying to in his breast tt l o the obscure i shall always care for you said and i for you because you are single hearted and to your and tiresome little sue he looked away for that tenderness of hers was too was it that wliich had broken the heart of the poor leader writer and was he to be the next one but sue was so dear if he could only get over the sense of her sex as she seemed to be able to do so easily of his what a comrade she would make for their difference of opinion on subjects only drew them closer together on matters of daily human experience she was nearer to him than any other woman he had ever met and he could scarcely believe that time creed or absence would ever divide him from her but his grief at her returned they sat on till she fell asleep again and he nodded in his chair likewise whenever he aroused himself he turned her things and made up the fire anew about six o clock he awoke completely and lighting a candle found that her clothes were dry her chair being a far more comfortable one than his she still slept on inside his great coat looking warm as a new and boyish as a placing the garments by her and touching her on the shoulder he went down stairs and washed himself by in the yard when he returned she was dressed as usual now could i get out without anybody seeing me she asked the town is not yet but you have had no breakfast oh i don t want any i fear i ought not to have run away from that school things seem so different in the cold light of morning don t they what mr will say i don t know it was quite by his wish that i went there he is the only man in the world for whom i have any respect or fear i hope he ll forgive me but he ll me dreadfully i expect i ll go to him and explain began oh no you sha n t i don t care for him he may think what he i shall do just as i choose but you just this moment said well if i did i shall do as i like for all him i have thought of what i shall do go to the sister of one of my fellow students in the training school who has asked me to visit her she has a school near about eighteen miles from here and i shall stay there till this has blown over and i get back to the training school again at the last moment he persuaded her to let him make her a cup of coffee in a apparatus he kept in his room for use on rising to go to his work every day before the household was now a dew bit to eat with it he said and off we go you can have a regular breakfast when you get there the obscure they went quietly out of the house accompanying her to the station as they departed along the street a head was softly thrust out of an upper window and quickly withdrawn sue still seemed sorry for her and to wish she had not telling him at parting that she would let him know as soon as she got to the training school they stood rather miserably together on the platform and it was apparent that he wanted to say more i want to tell you something two things he said hurriedly as the train came up one is a warm one the other a cold one she said i know one of them and you mustn t what r you mustn t love me you are to like me that s all s face became so full of complicated that hers was agitated in sympathy as she bade him adieu through the carriage window and then the train moved on and waving her pretty hand to him she vanished away was a dismal place enough for that sunday of her departure and the close so hateful that he did not go once to the cathedral services the next morning there came a letter from her which with her usual she had written directly she had reached her friend s house she told him of her safe arrival and comfortable quarters and then added what i really write about dear is something i said to you at parting you had been so very good and kind to me that when you were out of sight i felt what a cruel and ungrateful woman i was to say it and it has reproached me ever since if you want to love me y you may i don t mind	45
at all and i ll never say again that you mustn t at now i won t write any more about that you do forgive your thoughtless friend for her cruelty and won t make her miserable by saying you don t ever sue it would be superfluous to say what his answer was and how he thought what he would have done had he been free which should have rendered a long residence with a female friend quite unnecessary for sue he felt he might have been pretty sure of his own victory if it had come to a conflict between and himself for the possession of her yet was in danger of more meaning to sue s impulsive note than it really was intended to bear after the lapse of a few days he found himself hoping that she would write again but he received no further communication and in the intensity of his solicitude he sent another note suggesting that he should pay her a visit some sunday the distance being under eighteen miles he expected a reply on the second morning after his but none came the third morning arrived the did not stop this was saturday and in a feverish state of anxiety about her he sent off three brief lines stating that he was coming the following day for he felt sure something had happened his first and natural thought had been that she was ill from her but it soon occurred to him that somebody would have written for her in such a case conjectures were put an end to by his arrival at the village school house near on the bright morning of sunday between eleven and twelve o clock when the parish was as vacant as a desert most of the inhabitants having gathered inside the church whence their voices could occasionally be heard in a little girl opened the door miss is upstairs she said and will you please walk up to her is she ill asked hastily the obscure only a not very entered and ascended on reaching the landing a voice told him which way to turn the voice of sue calling his name he passed the doorway and found her lying in a little bed in a room a dozen feet square oh sue he cried sitting down beside her and taking her hand how is this you couldn t write it wasn t that she answered i did catch a bad cold but i could have written only i wouldn t why not me like this that was what i was afraid of but i had de not to write to you any more they won t have me back at the school that s why i couldn t write not the fact but the reason well they not only won t have me but they give me a parting piece of what she did not answer directly i vowed i never would tell you it is so vulgar and distressing is it about us yes but do tell me somebody has sent them reports about us and they say you and i ought to marry as soon as possible for the sake of my reputation there now i have told you and i wish i hadn t oh poor sue i don t think of you like that means it did just oc cur to me to regard you in the way they think i do but i hadn t begun to i have recognized that the was merely since we met as total strangers but my marrying you dear why of course if i had reckoned upon marrying you i shouldn t have come to you so often and i never supposed you thought of such a thing as marrying me till the other evening when i began to fancy you did love me a little perhaps i at ought not to have been so intimate with you it is all my fault everything is my fault always the speech seemed a little forced and unreal and they regarded each other with a mutual distress i was so at first she went on i didn t see what you felt at all oh you have been unkind to me you have to look upon me as a sweetheart without saying a word and leaving me to discover it myself your attitude to me has become known and naturally they think we ve been doing wrong i ll never trust you again yes sue he said simply i am to blame more than you think i was quite aware that you did not suspect till within the last meeting or two what i was feeling about you i admit that our meeting as strangers pre a sense of relationship and that it was a sort of to avail myself of it but don t you think i deserve a little consideration for concealing my wrong very wrong sentiments since i couldn t help having them she turned her eyes doubtfully towards him and then looked away as if afraid she might forgive him by every law of nature and sex a kiss was the only that fitted the mood and the moment under the of which sue s regard of him might not have changed its temperature some men would have cast scruples to the winds and ventured it both of sue s declaration of her feelings and of the pair of in the chest of s parish church did not he had in fact come in part to tell his own fatal story it was upon his lips yet at the hour of this distress he could not disclose it he preferred to dwell upon the recognized between them of course i know you don t care about me in any particular way he said you ought not and you are	45
see her oftener than she desired the school being such an awkward place for and because of her strong wish that her engagement to him should not be known which it would be if he visited her often over these phrases the school master what precise shade of satisfaction was to be gathered from a woman s gratitude that the man who loved her had not been often to see her the problem occupied him distracted him he opened another drawer and found therein an envelope from which he drew a photograph of sue as a child long before he had known her standing under work with a little basket in her hand there was another of her as a young woman her dark eyes and hair making a very distinct and attractive picture of her which just disclosed too the that lay behind her lighter moods it was a of the one she had given and would have given to any man brought it half way to his lips but withdrew it in doubt at her phrases ultimately kissing the dead with all the and more than all the devotion of a young man of eighteen the school master s was an looking old fashioned face rendered more old fashioned by his style of a certain had been imparted to it by nature suggesting an inherent wish to do rightly by all his speech was a little slow but his tones were the obscure sincere enough to make his hesitation no defect his hair was curly and from a point in the middle of his crown there were four lines across his forehead and he only wore spectacles when reading at night it was almost certainly a forced upon him by his purpose rather than a for women which had hitherto kept him from closing with one of the sex in matrimony such silent proceedings as those of this evening were repeated many and oft times when he was not under the eye of the boys whose quick and penetrating regard would frequently become almost intolerable to the master in his present anxious care for sue making him in the gray hours of morning dread to meet anew the glances lest they should read what the dream within him was he had in sue s announced wish that he was not often to visit her at the training school but at length his patience being sorely tried he set out one saturday afternoon to pay her an unexpected call there the news of her departure as it might almost have been considered was flashed upon him without warning or as he stood at the door expecting in a few minutes to behold her face and when he turned away he could hardly see the road before him sue had in fact never written a line to her on the subject although it was fourteen days old a short reflection told him that this proved nothing a natural delicacy being as ample a reason for silence as any degree of they had informed him at the school where she was living and having no immediate anxiety about her comfort his thoughts took the direction of a burning indignation against the training school committee in his bewilderment entered the adjacent cathedral just now in a state by reason of the at he sat down on a block of regardless of the dusty it made on his breeches and his eyes following the movements of the workmen he presently became aware that the sue s lover was one amongst them had never spoken to his former hero since the meeting by the model of having witnessed s courtship of sue in the lane there had grown up in the younger man s mind a curious dislike to think of the elder to meet him to communicate in any way with him and since s success in obtaining at least her promise had become known to he had frankly recognized that he did not wish to see or hear of his senior any more learn anything of his pursuits or even imagine again what might to his character on this very day of the school master s visit was expecting sue as she had promised and when therefore he saw the school master in the of the building saw moreover that he was coming to speak to him he felt no little embarrassment which s own embarrassment prevented his observing joined him and they both withdrew from the other workmen to the spot where had been sitting offered him a piece of for a cushion and told him it was dangerous to sit on the bare block yes yes said as he himself his eyes resting on the ground as if he were trying to remember where he was i won t keep you long it was merely that i have heard that you have seen my little friend sue recently it occurred to me to speak to you on that account i merely want to ask about her i think i know what hurriedly said about her escaping from the training school and her coming to me i the obscure yes well for a moment felt an and wish to his rival at all cost by the exercise of that treachery which love for the same woman renders possible to men the most honorable in every other relation of life he could send off in agony and defeat by saying that the scandal was true and that sue had committed herself to him but his action did not respond for a moment to his animal instinct and what he said was i am glad of your kindness in coming to talk plainly to me about it you know what they say that i ought to marry her what and i wish with all my soul i could trembled and his naturally pale face acquired a corpse like	45
in its lines i had no idea that it was of this nature god forbid no no said aghast i thought you understood i mean that were i in a position to marry her or some one and settle down instead of living in lodgings here and there i should be glad what he had really meant was simply that he loved her but since this painful matter has been opened up what really happened asked with the firmness of a man who felt that a sharp smart now was better than a long agony of suspense hereafter cases arise and this is one when even questions must be put to make false impossible and to kill scandal explained readily giving the whole series of adventures including the night at the shepherd s her wet arrival at his lodging her from her their of discussion and his seeing her off next morning well now said at the conclusion i take it as your final word and i know i can believe you that at the suspicion which led to her is an absolutely one it is said solemnly absolutely so help me god the school master rose each of the twain felt that the interview could not comfortably in a friendly discussion of their recent experiences after the manner of friends and when had taken him round and shown him some features of the which the old cathedral was bade the young man good day and went away this visit took place about eleven o clock in the morning but no sue appeared when went to his dinner at one he saw his beloved ahead of him in the street leading up from the north gate walking as if in no way looking for him speedily her he remarked that he had asked her to come to him at the cathedral and she had promised i have been to get my things from the college she said an observation which he was expected to take as an answer though it was not one finding her to be in this mood he felt inclined to give her the information so long withheld you have not seen mr to day he ventured to inquire i have not but i am not going to be cross examined about him and if you ask anything more i won t answer it is very odd that he stopped regarding her what that you are never so nice in your real presence as you are in does it really seem so to you said she smiling with quick curiosity well that s strange but i feel just the same about you when you are gone away i seem such a cold hearted as she knew his sentiment towards her saw that the obscure they were getting upon dangerous ground it was now he thought that he must speak as an honest man but he did not speak and she continued it was that which made me write and say i didn t mind your loving if you wanted to much the exultation he might have felt at what that implied or seemed to imply was by his intention and he rested rigid till he began i have never told you yes you have murmured she i mean i have never told you my history all of it but i guess it i know nearly looked up could she possibly know of that morning performance of his with which in a few months had ceased to be a marriage more completely than by death he saw that she did not i can t quite tell you here in the street he went on with a gloomy tongue and you had better not come to my lodgings let us go in here the building by which they stood was the it was the only place available and they entered the market being over and the and empty he would have preferred a more congenial spot but as usually happens in place of a romantic field or solemn aisle for his tale it was told while they walked up and down over a floor with rotten leaves and amid all the usual of decayed vegetable matter and refuse he began and finished his brief narrative which merely led up to the information that he had married a wife some years earlier and that his wife was living still almost before her countenance had time to change she hurried out the words why didn t you tell me before i couldn t it seemed so cruel to tell it to yourself so it was better to be cruel to me no dear darling cried passionately he tried to take her hand but she withdrew it their old at i tions of confidence seemed suddenly to have ended and the of sex to sex were left without any she was his comrade friend unconscious sweetheart no longer and her eyes regarded him in silence i was ashamed of the episode in my life which brought about the marriage he continued i can t explain it precisely now i could have done it if you had taken it differently but how can i she burst out here i have been saying or writing that that you might love me of the sort just out of charity and all the time oh it is perfectly how things are she said stamping her foot in a nervous quiver you take me wrong sue i never thought you cared for me at all till quite lately so i felt it did not matter do you care for me sue you know how i mean i don t like out of charity at all it was a question which in the circumstances sue did not choose to answer i suppose she your wife is a very pretty woman even	45
if she s wicked she asked quickly she s pretty enough as far as that goes prettier than i am no doubt you are not the least alike and i have never seen her for years but she s sure to come back they always do how strange of you to stay apart from her like this said sue her trembling lip and throat her you such a religious man how will the in your i mean those persons you call for you after this now if l had done such a thing it would have been different and not remarkable for i at least don t regard marriage as a j your theories are not so advanced as your practice sue you are terribly cutting when you like to be i the obscure a perfect but you must treat me as you will when she saw how wretched he was she softened and trying to away her sympathetic tears said with all the winning of a heart hurt woman ah you should have told me before you gave me that idea that you wanted to be allowed to love me i had no feeling before that moment at the railway station except for once sue was as miserable as he in her attempts to keep herself free from emotion and her less than don t cry dear he implored i am not crying because i love you but because of your want of confidence they were quite from the market square without and he could not help putting out his arm towards her waist his momentary desire was the means of her no no she said drawing back and wiping her eyes of course not it would be to pretend that it would be meant as from my cousin and it can t be in any other way they moved on a dozen paces and she showed herself recovered it was to and his heart would have ached less had she appeared anyhow but as she did appear essentially large minded and generous on reflection despite a previous exercise of those narrow womanly on impulse that were necessary to give her sex i don t blame you for what you couldn t help she said smiling how should i be so foolish i do blame you a little bit for not telling me before but after all it doesn t matter we should have had to keep apart you see even if this had not been in your life no we shouldn t sue this is the only obstacle you forget that i mast have loved you and wanted to be your wife even if there had been no obstacle said sue with a gentle seriousness which did not reveal her at i mind and then we are cousins and it is bad for cousins to marry and i am engaged to somebody else as to our going on together as we were going in a sort of friendly way the le round us would have made it unable to continue their views of the relations of man and woman are limited as is proved by their me from the school their philosophy only relations based on animal desire the wide field of strong attachment where desire plays at least only a secondary part is ignored by them the part of who is it her being able to talk showed that she was mistress of herself again and before they parted she had almost regained her glance her of tone her gay manner and her second thought attitude of critical towards others of her age and sex he could speak more freely now there were several reasons against my telling you one was what i have said another that it was always impressed upon me that i ought not to marry that i belonged to an odd and peculiar family the wrong breed for marriage ah who used to say that to you my great aunt she said it always ended badly with us that s strange my father used to say the same to me they stood possessed by the same thought ugly enough even as an assumption that a union between them had such been possible would have meant a terrible of two in one dish oh but there can t be anything in it she said with nervous lightness our family have been unlucky of late years in choosing mates that s all and then they tried to persuade themselves that all that had happened was of no consequence and that they could still be cousins and friends and warm and have happy genial times when they met even i the obscure if they met less frequently than before their parting was in good friendship and yet s last look into her eyes was tinged with inquiry for he felt that he did not even now quite know her mind vii r tidings from sue a day or two after passed across like a withering blast before reading the letter he was led to suspect that its contents were of a somewhat serious kind by catching sight of the signature which was in her full name never used in her correspondence with him since her first note my dear i have something to tell you which perhaps you will not be surprised to hear though certainly it may strike you as being as the railway companies say of their trains mr and i are to be married quite soon in three or four weeks we had intended as you know to wait till i had gone through my course of training and obtained my so as to assist him if necessary in the teaching but he generously says he does not see any object in waiting now i am not at the training school it	45
view of things and had taken breakfast apart what oppressed was the thought that having done a wrong thing of this sort himself he was and the woman he loved in doing a like wrong thing instead of imploring and warning her against it it was on his tongue to say you have quite made up your mind after breakfast they went out on an errand together moved by a mutual thought that it was the last opportunity they would have of indulging in companionship by the irony of fate and the curious trick in sue s nature of tempting providence at critical at times she took his arm as they walked through the muddy street a thing she had never done before in her life and on turning the corner they found themselves close to a gray perpendicular church with a low pitched the church of st thomas that s the church said where i am going to be married yes indeed she exclaimed with curiosity how i should like to go in and see what the spot is like where i am so soon to kneel and do it again he said to himself she does not realize what marriage means he in her wish to go in and they entered by the western door the only person inside the gloomy building was a woman cleaning sue still held s arm almost as if she loved him cruelly sweet indeed she had been to him that morning but his thoughts of a penance in store for her were tempered by an ache i can find no way how a blow should fall such as falls on men nor prove too much for your womanhood they strolled up the towards the altar railing which they surveyed in silence turning then and walking down the again her hand still on his arm precisely like a couple just married the too suggestive incident entirely of her making nearly broke down like to do things like this she said in the delicate voice of an in emotions which left no doubt that she spoke the truth i know you do said they are interesting because they have probably never been done before i shall walk down the church like this with my husband in about two hours sha n t i the obscure no doubt you will was it like this when you were married good god sue don t be so awfully merciless there dear one i didn t mean it ah you are vexed she said as she away an access of eye moisture and i promised never to vex you i suppose i ought not to have asked you to bring me in here oh i t i see it now curiosity to hunt up a new sensation ways leads me into these forgive me you will won t you the appeal was so that s eyes were even than hers as he pressed her hand for yes now we ll hurry away and i won t do it any more she continued humbly and they came out of the building sue intending to go on to the station to meet but the first person they encountered on entering the main street was the school master himself whose train had arrived sooner than sue expected there was nothing really to to in her leaning on s arm but she withdrew her hand and thought that had looked surprised we have been doing such a funny thing said she smiling candidly we ve been to the church as it were haven t we how said curiously inwardly what he thought to be unnecessary frankness but she had gone too far not to explain all which she accordingly did telling him how they had marched up to the altar seeing how puzzled seemed said as cheerfully as he could i am going to buy her another little present will you both come to the shop with me no said sue i ll go on to the house with him and her lover not to be a long time she departed with the school master soon joined them at his rooms and shortly after at they prepared for the ceremony s hair was brushed to a painful extent and his shirt collar appeared than it had been for the previous twenty years beyond this he looked dignified and thoughtful and altogether a man of whom it was not to that he would make a kind and considerate husband that he adored sue was obvious and she could almost be seen to feel that she was his adoration although the distance was so short he had hired a fly from the red lion and six or seven women and children had gathered by the door when they came out the school master and sue were unknown though was getting to be recognized as a citizen and the couple were judged to be some relations of his from a distance nobody supposing sue to have been a recent pupil at the training school in the carriage took from his pocket his extra little wedding present which turned out to be two or three yards of white which he threw over her bonnet and all as a veil it looks so odd over a bonnet she said i ll take the bonnet off oh no let it stay said and she obeyed when they had passed up the church and were standing in their places found that the visit had certainly taken off the edge of this performance but by the time they were half way on with the service he wished from his heart that he had not undertaken the business of giving her away how could sue have had the to ask him to do it a cruelty possibly to herself as well as to him women were different from j men in such matters was	45
it that they were instead of more sensitive as more and less ro or were they more heroic or was sue simply so perverse that she gave herself and him pain for the odd and mournful luxury of in her own person and of being touched with the obscure tender pity for him at having made him practise it he could perceive that her face was nervously set and when they reached the trying ordeal of giving her to she could hardly command herself rather however as it seemed from her knowledge of what her cousin must feel whom she need not have had there at all than from self consideration possibly she would go on such pains again and again and for the sufferer again and again in all her colossal seemed not to notice to be surrounded by a mist which prevented his seeing the emotions of others as soon as they had signed their names and come away j and the suspense was over felt relieved the meal at his lodging was a very simple affair and at two o clock they went off in crossing the pavement to the fly she looked back and there was a frightened light in her eyes could it be that sue had acted with such unusual foolishness as to plunge into she knew not what for the sake of asserting her independence of him of on him for his secrecy perhaps sue was thus with men because she was ignorant of that side of their natures which wore out women s hearts and lives when her foot was on the carriage step she turned round saying that she had forgotten something and the landlady offered to get it no she said running back it is my handkerchief i know where i left it followed her back she had found it and came holding it in her hand she looked into his eyes with her own tearful ones and her lips suddenly parted as if she were going to say something but she went on and whatever she had meant to say remained i viii wondered if she had really left her handkerchief behind or whether it were that she had miserably wished to tell him of a love that at the last moment she could not bring herself to express he could not stay in his silent lodging when they were gone and fearing that he might be tempted to drown his misery in he went up stairs changed his dark clothes for his white his thin boots for his thick and proceeded to his customary work for the afternoon but in the cathedral he seemed to hear a voice behind him and to be possessed with an idea that she would come back she could not possibly go home with he fancied the feeling grew and stirred the moment that the clock struck the last of his working hours he threw down his tools and rushed homeward has anybody been for me he asked nobody had been there as he could claim the down stairs sitting room till twelve o clock that night he sat in it all the evening and even when the clock had struck eleven and the family had retired he could not shake off the feeling that she would come back and sleep in the little room adjoining his own in which she had slept so many previous days her actions were always why should she not come gladly would he have for the denial of her as a sweetheart and wife by having her live thus as a fellow and friend even on the most distant terms his supper still remained spread and going to the front door and softly setting it open he re the obscure turned to the room and sat as sit on old expecting the phantom of the beloved but she did not come having indulged in this wild hope he went up stairs and looked out of the window and pictured her through the evening journey to london whither she and had gone for their holiday their rattling along through the damp night to their hotel under the same sky of cloud as that he beheld through which the moon showed its position rather than its shape and one or two of the larger stars made themselves visible as faint only it was a new beginning of sue s history he projected his mind into the future and saw her with children more or less in her own likeness around her but the consolation of regarding them as a of her identity was denied to him as to all such by the of nature in not allowing issue from one parent alone every desired renewal of an existence is by being half if at the or death of my lost love i could go and see her child hers solely there would be comfort in it said a nd then he again uneasily saw as he had y seen with more a nd more the scorn of nature for man s finer emotions and her lack of interest in his aspirations the oppressive strength of his affection for sue showed itself on the morrow and following days yet more clearly he could no longer endure the light of the lamps the sunshine was as paint and the blue sky as then he received news that his old aunt was ill at which intelligence almost with a letter from his former employer at christ who offered him permanent work of a good class if he would come back the letters were almost a relief to him he started to visit aunt and resolved to go onward to to see what worth there might be in the s offer at found his aunt even worse than the communication from the widow had led him to expect there was every possibility of her lingering on for weeks or months though	45
little he wrote to sue informing her of the state of her aunt and suggesting that she might like to see her aged relative alive he would meet her at road the following evening monday on his way back from if she could come by the up train which crossed his down train at that station next morning accordingly he went on to intending to return to soon enough to keep the suggested appointment with sue the city of learning wore an look and he had lost all feeling for its associations yet as the sun made vivid lights and shades of the architecture of the and drew patterns of the on the young turf of the thought he had ne ver seen the place look more beautiful he came to the street in which he had first beheld sue the chair she had occupied when leaning over her a hair brush in her hand her girlish figure had arrested the gaze of his inquiring eyes stood precisely in its former spot empty it was as if she were dead and nobody had been found capable of succeeding her in that artistic pursuit hers was now the city phantom while those of the intellectual and who had once moved him to emotion were no longer able to assert their presence there however here he was and in fulfilment of his intention he went on to his former lodging in near the church of st the old landlady who opened the door seemed glad to see him again and bringing some lunch informed him that the who had employed him had called to inquire his address went on to the stone yard where he had worked but the old sheds and were distasteful to him io the obscure he felt it impossible to engage himself to return and stay in this place of vanished dreams he longed for the hour of the homeward train to where he might probably meet sue then for one ghastly half hour of depression caused by these scenes there returned upon him that feeling which had been his more than once that he was not worth the trouble of being taken care of either by himself or others and during this half hour he met the iron at who proposed that they should to a bar and drink together they walked along the street till they stood before one of the great of life the inn wherein he formerly had responded to the challenge to the creed in latin now a popular tavern with a spacious and inviting entrance which gave to a bar that had been entirely and in modern style since s residence here drank off his glass and departed saying it was too a place now for him to feel at home in unless he was than he had money to be just then was longer finishing his and stood silent in the almost empty place the bar had been and newly arranged throughout mahogany having taken the place of the old painted ones while at the back of the standing space there were stuffed sofa benches the room was divided into in the approved manner between which were of ground glass in mahogany to prevent in one being put to the blush by the of those in the next on the inside of the counter two leaned over the white handled beer engines and the row of little inside dripping into a feeling tired and having nothing more to do till the train left sat down on one of the at the at c back of the rose edged with glass shelves running along their front on which stood precious that did not know the name of in bottles of and the moment was by the entrance of some customers into the next and the starting of the mechanical tell tale of received which a ting ting every time a coin was put in the attending to this was invisible to s direct glance though a reflection of her back in the glass behind her was occasionally caught by his eyes m he had only observed this when she turned her face for a moment to the glass to set her hair tidy then he was amazed to discover that the face was s if she had come on to his she would have seen him but she did not this being presided over by the maiden on the other side was in a black gown with white linen and a broad white collar and her figure more developed than formerly was by a bunch of that she wore on her left bosom in the she served stood an fountain of water over a spirit lamp whose blue flame sent a steam from the top all this being visible to him only in the mirror behind her which also reflected the faces of the men she was attending to one of them a handsome dissipated young fellow possibly an who had been relating to her an experience of some humorous sort oh mr cock man now how can you tell such a tale to me in my innocence she cried mr cock man what do you use to make your curl so beautiful as the young man was clean shaven the retort provoked a laugh at his expense come said he i ll have a and a light please she served the from one ot the lovely bottles the obscure and striking a match held it to his while he well have you heard from your husband lately my dear he asked not a sound said she where is he i left him in and i suppose he s there still s eyes grew what made you part from him don t you ask questions and you won t hear lies come then give me my change which you ve been keeping from me for the last	45
quarter of an hour and i ll vanish up the street of this picturesque city she handed the change over the counter in taking which he caught her fingers and held them there was a slight struggle and and he bade her good bye and left had looked on with the eye of a dazed philosopher it was extraordinary how far removed from his life now seemed to be he could not realize their and this being the case in his present frame of mind he was indifferent to the fact that was his wife indeed the that she served emptied itself of visitors and after a brief thought he entered it and went forward to the counter did not recognize him for a moment then their glances met she started till a humorous impudence sparkled in her eyes and she spoke well i m i thought you were years ago oh i never heard anything of you or i don t know that i should have come here but never mind what shall i treat you to this afternoon a scotch and come anything that the house will afford for old acquaintance sake at thanks said without a smile but i don t want anything more than i ve had the fact was that her unexpected presence there had destroyed at a stroke his momentary taste for strong liquor as completely as if it had him back to his milk fed infancy that s a pity now you could get it for nothing how long have you been here about six weeks i returned from three months ago i always liked this business you know wonder you came to this place well as i say i thought you were gone to glory and being in london i saw the situation in an advertisement nobody was likely to know me here even if i had minded for i was never in in my growing up why did you return from oh i had my reasons then you are not a don yet no not even a reverend no nor so much as a rather reverend gentleman i am as i was true you look so she idly allowed her fingers to rest on the pull of the beer engine as she him he observed that her hands were smaller and than when he had lived with her and that on the hand which pulled the engine she wore an ornamental ring set with what seemed to be a real which it was indeed and was much admired as such by the young men who frequented the bar so you pass as married he continued yes i thought it might be awkward if i called myself a widow as i should have liked true i am known here a little i didn t mean on that account for as i said i didn t expect you it was for other reasons the obscure what were they don t care to go into them she replied i make a very good living and i don t know that i want your company here a with no chin and a like a lady s came and asked for a curiously drink and was obliged to go and attend to him we can t talk here she said stepping back a moment can t you wait till nine say yes and don t be a fool i can get off duty two hours sooner than usual if i ask i am not living in the house at present he reflected and said gloomily i ll come back i suppose we d better arrange something oh bother arranging i m not going to arrange anything but i must know a thing or two and as you say we can t talk here very well i ll call for you his glass he went out and walked up and down the street here was a rude into the of his sad attachment to sue though s word was absolutely he thought there might be some truth in her that she had not wished to disturb him and had really supposed him dead however there was only one thing now to be done and that was to play a straightforward part the law being the law and the woman between whom and himself there was no more unity than between east and west being in the eye of the church one person with him having to meet here it was impossible to meet sue at as he had promised at every thought of this a pang had gone through him but the could not be helped was perhaps an intended to punish him for his love passing the evening therefore in a waiting about the town wherein he avoided the at of every and hall because he could not bear to behold them he repaired to the tavern bar while the hundred and one strokes were from the great bell of cardinal college a coincidence which seemed to him irony the inn was now brilliantly lighted up and the scene was altogether more brisk and gay the faces of the had risen in color each having a pink flush on her cheek their manners were still more than before more abandoned more excited more and they expressed their sentiments and desires less laughing in a tone without reserve the bar had been crowded with men of all sorts during the previous hour and he had heard from without the of their voices but the customers were fewer just now he nodded to and told her that she would find him outside the door when she came away but you must have something with me first she said with great good humor just an early night cap i always do then you can go out and wait a minute as it is best we should not be seen going together she drew a	45
parted watched her disappear in the direction of the hotel and entered the railway station close by finding that it wanted three quarters of an hour of the time at which he could get a train back to he strolled mechanically into the city as far as to the where he stood as he had so often stood before and surveyed chief street stretching ahead with its college after college in except by such continental as the street of palaces in the lines of the buildings being as distinct in the morning air as in an drawing but was far from seeing or these things they were hidden by an indescribable consciousness of s midnight a sense of degradation at his revived experiences with her of her appearance as she lay asleep at dawn which set upon his motionless face a look as of one accursed if he could only have felt resentment towards her he would have been less unhappy but he pitied while he her turned and his steps drawing again towards the station he started at hearing his name pronounced less at the name than at the voice to his great surprise no other than sue stood like a vision before him her look and anxious as in a dream her little mouth nervous and her strained eyes speaking inquiry oh i am so glad to meet you like this she said in quick accents not far from a sob then she flushed as she observed his thought that they had not met since her marriage they looked away from each other to hide their emotion took each other s hand without further speech and went on together a while till she glanced at him with solicitude i arrived at station last night as you asked me to and there was nobody to meet the obscure me but i reached alone and tbey told me aunt was a trifle better i sat up with her and as you did not come all night i was frightened about you i thought that perhaps when you found yourself back in the old city you were upset at at thinking i married and not there as i used to be and that you had nobody to speak to so you had tried to drown your gloom as you did at that former time when you were disappointed about entering as a student and had forgotten your promise to me that you never would again and this i thought was why you hadn t come to meet me and you came to hunt me up and deliver me like a good angel i thought i would come by the morning train and try to find you in case in case i did think of my promise to you dear continually i shall break out again as i did i am sure i may have been doing nothing better but i was not doing that i the thought of it i am glad your staying had nothing to do with that but she said the faintest entering into her tone you didn t come back last night and meet me as you engaged to i didn t i am sorry to say i had an appointment at nine o too late for me to catch the train that would have met yours or to get home at all looking at his loved one as she appeared to him now in his tender thought the sweetest and most disinterested comrade that he had ever had living largely in vivid so ethereal a creature that her spirit could be seen trembling through her limbs he felt heartily ashamed of his in spending the hours he had spent in s company there was something rude and in thrusting these recent facts of his life upon the mind of one who to him was so as to seem at times impossible as a human wife to any average man and yet she was s how she had become at such how she lived as such passed his comprehension as he regarded her to day you ll go back with me he said there s a train just now i wonder how my aunt is by this time and so sue you really came on my account all this way at what an early time you must have started pool thing yes sitting up watching alone made me all nerves for you and instead of going to bed when it got light i started and now you won t frighten me like this again about your morals for nothing he was not so sure that she had been frightened about his morals for nothing he released her hand till they had entered the train it seemed the same carriage he had lately got out of with another where they sat down side by side sue between him and the window he regarded the delicate lines of her and the small tight apple like curves of her so different from s though she knew he was looking at her she did not turn to him but kept her eyes forward as if afraid that by meeting his own some discussion would be sue you are married now you know like me and yet we have been in such a hurry that we have not said a word about it there s no necessity she quickly returned oh perhaps not but i wish don t talk about wish you wouldn t she entreated it me rather forgive my saying it where did you stay last night she had asked the question in perfect innocence to change the topic he knew that and said merely at an inn though it would have been a relief to tell her of his meeting with an unexpected one but the latter s final announcement of her	45
marriage in bewildered him lest what he might say should do his ignorant wife an injury their talk proceeded but awkwardly till they reached the obscure that sue was not as she had been but was whenever he wanted to with her as an individual yet she seemed he could not say why there remained the five mile extra journey into the country which it was just as easy to walk as to drive the greater part of it being had never before in his life gone that road with sue though he had with another it was now as if j he carried a bright light which temporarily banished the shady associations of the earlier time sue talked but noticed that she still kept the conversation from herself at length he inquired if her husband were well oh yes she said he is obliged to be in the school all the day or he would have come with me he is so good and kind that to accompany me he would have dismissed the school for a day even against his principles for he is strongly opposed to giving casual holidays only i wouldn t let him i felt it would be better to come alone aunt i knew was so very eccentric and his being almost a stranger to her now would have made it irksome to both since it turns out that she is hardly conscious i am glad i did not ask him had walked while this praise of i son was being expressed mr you in everything as he ought he said of course you ought to be a happy wife and of course i am bride i might almost have said as yet it is not so many weeks since i gave you to him and yes i know i know there was something in her face which her late assuring words so strictly proper and so spoken that they might have been taken from a list of model speeches in the wife s guide to conduct knew the quality of every in sue s voice could read every symptom of her mental at condition and he was convinced that she was unhappy although she had not been a month married but her rushing away thus from home to see the last of a relative whom she had hardly known in her life proved nothing for sue naturally did such things as those well you have my good wishes now as always mrs she reproached him by a glance no you are not mrs murmured you are dear free sue only you don t know it not v a fl fi nd vou in its vast as an which has no further individuality sue put on a look of being offended till she answered nor has you so far as i can see but it has he said shaking his head sadly when they reached the lone cottage under the between the brown house and in which and had lived and quarrelled he turned to look at it a family lived there now he could not help saying to sue that s the house my wife and i occupied the whole of the time we lived together i brought her home to that house she looked at it that to you was what the at is to me yes but i was not very happy there as you are in yours she closed her lips in silence and they walked some way till she glanced at him to see how he was taking it of course i may have exaggerated your happiness one never knows he continued don t think that for a moment even though you may have said it to sting me he s as good to me as a man can be and gives me perfect liberty which elderly husbands don t do in general if you think i am not happy because he s too old for me you are wrong the obscure i don t think anything against him to you dear and you won t say things to distress me will you i will not he said no more but he knew that from some cause or other in taking as a husband sue felt that she had done what she ought not to have done they plunged into the field on the other side of which rose the village the field wherein had received a from the farmer many years earlier on ascending to the village and approaching the house they found mrs standing at the door who at sight of them lifted her hands she s downstairs if you ll believe me cried the widow out o bed she got and nothing could turn her what will come o t i do not know on entering there indeed by the fireplace sat the old woman wrapped in blankets and turning upon them a countenance like that of s they must have looked their amazement for she said in a hollow voice ye have i i wasn t going to bide up there no longer to please nobody tis more than flesh and blood can bear to be ordered to do this and that by a that don t know half as well as you do yourself ah you ll this marrying as well as he she added turning to sue all our family and nearly all everybody else s you should have done as i did you and the school master of all men what made ee marry him what makes most women marry aunt ah you mean to say you loved the man i don t mean to say anything definite do ye love un don t ask me aunt i can mind the man very well a very civil honorable liver but lord i don t want to your feelings but	45
there be certain men here and there that no at woman of any can stomach i should have said he was one i don t say so now since you must ha known better than i but that s what i should have said sue jumped up and went out followed her and found her in the crying don t cry dear said in distress she means well but is very and queer now you know oh no it isn t that said sue trying to dry her eyes i don t mind her one bit what is it then it is that what she says is is true god what you don t like him asked i don t mean that she said hastily that i ought perhaps i ought not to have married he wondered if she had really been going to say that at first they went back and the subject was smoothed over and her aunt took rather kindly to sue telling her that not many young women newly married would have come so far to see a sick old like her in the afternoon sue prepared to depart a neighbor to drive her to i ll go with you to the station if you d like he said she would not let him the man came round with the trap and helped her into it perhaps with unnecessary attention for she looked at him i suppose i may come to see you some day when i am back again at he half observed she bent down and said softly no dear you are not to come yet i don t think you are in a good mood very well said good bye good bye she waved her hand and was gone she s right i won t go he murmured he passed the evening and following days in by every possible means his wish to see her nearly starving himself in attempts to by his passionate tendency to love her he read sermons on discipline and hunted up passages in church history the obscure that treated of the of the second century before he had returned from to there arrived a letter from the sight of it revived a stronger feeling of self condemnation for his brief return to her society than for his attachment to sue the letter he perceived bore a london instead of the one informed him that a few days after their parting in the morning at she had been surprised by an affectionate letter from her husband formerly manager of the hotel in he had come to england on purpose to find her and had taken a free fully public in where he wished her to join him in conducting the business which was likely to be a very one the house being situated in an excellent gin drinking neighborhood and already doing a trade of a month which could be easily doubled as he had said that he loved her very much still and implored her to tell him where she was and as they had only parted in a slight and as her engagement in was only temporary she had just gone to join him as he urged she could not help feeling that she belonged to him more than to since she had properly married him and had lived with him much longer than with her first husband in thus wishing good bye she bore him no ill will and trusted he would not turn upon her a weak woman and inform against her and bring her to ruin now that she had a chance of improving her circumstances and leading a genteel life a returned to which had the questionable recommendation of being only a dozen and a half miles from his sue s now permanent residence at first he felt that this was a distinct reason for not going southward at all but was too sad a place to bear while the of to might afford him the glory of the enemy in a close engagement such as was deliberately sought by the priests and of the early church who an flight from temptation became even with did not pause to remember that in the words of the historian insulted nature sometimes her rights in such circumstances he now returned with feverish desperation to his study for the in the recognition that the of his aims and his fidelity to the cause had been more than questionable of late his passion for sue troubled his soul yet his to the society of for twelve hours seemed instinctively a worse thing even though she had not told him of her husband till afterwards he had he verily believed overcome all tendency to fly to liquor which in deed he had never done from taste but merely as an es cape from intolerable misery of mind yet he perceived with despondency that taken all round he was a man of too many passions to make a good clergyman the utmost he could hope for was that in a life of constant internal warfare between flesh and spirit the former might not always be victorious f the obscure as a to his in divinity he developed his slight skill in church music and till he could join in part singing from with some accuracy a mile or two from there was a restored village church to which had originally gone to fix the new columns and by this means he had become acquainted with the and the ultimate result was that he joined the choir as a bass voice he walked out to this parish twice every sunday and sometimes in the week one evening about the choir met for practice and a new hymn which had heard of as being by a was to be tried and prepared for the following week it turned	45
out to be a strangely composition as they all sang it over and over again its grew upon and moved him exceedingly when they had finished he went round to the to make inquiries the score was in manuscript the name of the being at the head together with the title of the hymn the foot of the cross yes said the he is a local man he is a professional at between here and the knows him he was brought up and educated in traditions which accounts for the quality of the piece i think he plays in the large church there and has a choir he comes to sometimes and once tried to get the cathedral organ when the post was vacant the hymn is getting about everywhere this as he walked humming the air on his way home j fell to musing on its and the reasons why he composed it what a man of sympathies he must be perplexed and harassed as he himself was about sue and and troubled as was his conscience by the of his position how he would like to know that man he of all men would understand my difficulties at said the impulsive if there were any person in the world to choose as a this would be the one for he must have suffered and and in brief ill as he could afford the time and money for the journey resolved like the child that he was to go to the very next sunday he duly started early in the morning for it was only by a series of crooked that he could get to the town about mid day he reached it and crossing the bridge into the quaint old he inquired for the house of the they told him it was a red brick building some little way farther on also that the gentleman himself had just passed along the street not five minutes before which way asked with alacrity straight along homeward from church hastened on and soon had the pleasure of observing a man in a black coat and a black felt hat no considerable distance ahead stretching out his legs yet more widely he stalked after a hungry soul in pursuit of a full soul he said i must speak to that man he could not however overtake the before he had entered his own house and then arose the question if this were an expedient time to call whether or not he decided to do so there and then now that he had got here the distance home being too great for him to wait till late in the afternoon this man of soul would understand scant ceremony and might be quite a perfect adviser in a case in which an earthly and passion had obtained entrance into his heart through the opening afforded for religion accordingly rang the bell and was admitted the came to him in a moment and being dressed good looking and frank in manner obtained a favorable reception he was the obscure less conscious that there would be a certain awkwardness in explaining his errand i have been singing in the choir of a little church near he said and we have this week practised the foot of the cross which i understand sir that you composed i did a year or so ago i like it i think it beautiful ah well other people have said so too yes there s money in it if i could only see about getting it published i have other to go with it too i wish i could bring them out for i haven t made a five pound note out of any of them yet these people they want the of an obscure s work such as mine is for almost less than i should have to pay a person for making a fair manuscript copy of the score the one you speak of i have lent to various friends about here and and so it has got to be sung a little but music is a poor staff to lean on i am giving it up entirely you must go into trade if you want to make money nowadays the wine business is what i am thinking of this is my list it is not issued yet but you can take one he handed an advertisement list of several pages in shape with a red line in which were set forth the various ports and other with which he to his new venture it took rather by surprise that the man with the soul was thus and thus and he felt that he could not open up his confidences they talked a little longer but for when the found that was a poor man his manner changed from what it had been while s appearance and address deceived him as to his position and pursuits stammered out something about his feelings in wishing to congratulate the author on such an exalted and took an embarrassed leave rf ff i at all the way home by the slow sunday train sitting in the waiting rooms on this cold spring day he was depressed enough at his simplicity in taking such a journey but no sooner did he reach his lodging than he found awaiting him a letter which had arrived that morning a few minutes after he had left the house it was a little note from sue in which she said with sweet humility that she felt she had been horrid in telling him he was not to come to see her that she despised herself for having been so conventional and that he was to be sure to come by the eleven forty five train that very sunday and have dinner with them at half past one almost tore his hair at having missed this letter till it	45
was too late to act upon its contents but he had himself considerably of late and at last his expedition to really did seem to have been another special of providence to keep him away from temptation but a growing impatience of faith which he had noticed m himself more tha n once of him pass over in ridicule the idea tha t sent errands he longed to see her he was angry at having missed her and he wrote instantly telling her what had happened and saying he had not enough patience to wait till the following sunday but would come any day in the week that she liked to name since he wrote a little over sue as her manner was delayed her reply till thursday before good friday when she said he might come that afternoon if he wished this being the earliest day on which she could welcome him for she was now assistant teacher in her husband s school therefore got leave from the cathedral works at the trifling expense of a of pay and went part iv at prefers either matrimony or other before the good of and the plain of charity let him profess or or what he will he is no better than a j milton i the ancient british from whose foundation first such strange reports arise as sang it was and is in itself the city of a dream vague of its castle its three its magnificent abbey the chief glory of south its twelve churches its its all now swept away throw the visitor even against his will into a pensive melancholy which the atmosphere and landscape around him can scarcely the spot was the burial place of a king and a queen of and saints and knights and the bones of king edward the martyr carefully removed hither for holy preservation brought a renown which made it the resort of from every part of europe and enabled it to maintain a reputation extending far beyond english shores to this fair creation of the great middle age the dissolution was as tells us the death with the destruction of the enormous abbey the whole place in a general ruin the martyr s bones met with the fate of the sacred pile that held them and not a stone is now left to tell where they lie the natural and of the town still remain but strange to say these qualities which were noted by many writers in ages when beauty is said not to have been are passed over the obscure in this and one of the and spots in england stands to day it has a unique position on the summit of an almost perpendicular rising on the north south and west sides of the out of the deep of the view from the castle green over three of pasture south mid and being as sudden a surprise to the traveller s eyes as the air is to his lungs impossible to a railway it can best be reached on foot next best by light and it is hardly accessible to these but by a sort of on the that it with the high chalk table land on that side such is and such was the now world forgotten or its situation rendered water the great want of the town and within living memory horses and men may have been seen toiling up the winding ways to the top of the steep laden with and barrels filled from the wells beneath the mountain and their contents at the price of a half penny a this difficulty in the water supply together with two other odd facts namely that the chief slopes up as as a roof behind the church and that in former times the town passed through a curious period of corruption and domestic gave rise to the saying that was remarkable for three to man such as the world afforded not elsewhere it was a place where the churchyard lay nearer heaven than the church where beer was more plentiful than water and where there were more wanton women than honest wives and maids it is also said that after the middle ages the inhabitants were too poor to pay their priests and hence were compelled to pull down their churches and refrain altogether from the public worship of god a necessity which they over their cups in the settles of their on sunday in those days at the were apparently not without a sense of humor there was another peculiarity this a modern one which appeared to owe to its site it was the resting place and of the of wandering shows shooting galleries and other concerns whose business lay largely at and as strange wild birds are seen assembled on some lofty pausing for longer flights or to return by the course they followed thither so here in this cliff town stood in silence the yellow and green bearing names not local as if surprised by a change in the landscape so violent as to hinder their further progress and here they usually remained all the winter till they turned to seek again their old tracks in the following spring it was to this and spot that ascended from the nearest station for the first time in his life about four o clock one afternoon and entering on the summit of the peak after a climb passed the first houses of the town and drew towards the school house the hour was too early the pupils were still in school humming small like a swarm of and he withdrew a few steps along abbey walk whence he regarded the spot which fate had made the home of all he loved best in the world in front of the schools which were extensive and stone built grew two enormous with smooth mouse colored trunks as such	45
now she will you be carving out at that church again next week where you learned the pretty hymn at yes perhaps that will be very nice shall i come and see you there it is in this direction and i could come any afternoon by train for half an hour no don t come what aren t we going to be friends then any longer as we used to be no i didn t know that i thought you were always going to be kind to me no i am not what have i done then i am sure i thought we two the in her voice caused her to break off sue i sometimes think you are a said he abruptly there was a momentary pause till she suddenly jumped up and to his surprise he saw by the kettle flame that her face was flushed i can t talk to you any longer she said the tragic note having come back as of old it is getting too dark to stay together like this after playing morbid good friday tunes that make one feel what one shouldn t we mustn t sit and talk in this way any more yes you must go away for you mistake me i am very much the reverse of what you say so cruelly oh it was cruel to say that yet i can t tell you the truth i should shock you by letting you know how n i give way to my impulses and how much i feel that i shouldn t have been provided with unless it were meant to be exercised some women s love of being loved is and so often is their love of loving and in the last case they may find that they can t give it to the chamber officer appointed by the bishop s license to receive it but you are so straight forward that you can t understand me now you must go i am sorry my husband is not at home are you the obscure i perceive i have said that in mere honestly i don t think i am sorry it does not matter either way sad to say as they had the grasp of hands some time sooner she touched his fingers but lightly when he went out now he had hardly gone from the door when with a dissatisfied look she jumped on a form and opened the iron of a window beneath which he was passing in the path without when do you leave here to catch your she asked he looked up in some surprise the coach that runs to meet it goes in three quarters of an hour or so what will you do with yourself for the time oh wander about i suppose perhaps i shall go and sit in the old church it does seem hard of me to pack you off so you have thought enough of churches heaven knows without going into one in the dark stay there where where you are i can talk to you better like this than when you were inside it was so kind and tender of you to give up half a day s work to come to see me i you are joseph the of dreams dear and a tragic don and sometimes you are st who while they were him could see heaven opened oh my poor friend and comrade you ll suffer yet now that the high window sill was between them so that he could not get at her she seemed not to mind indulging in a frankness she had feared at close quarters i i have been thinking she continued still in the tone i j of one of feeling that the social civil i fits us into have no more relation to our actual j shapes than the conventional shapes of the i i have to the real star patterns i am called mrs richard living a calm wedded life with my k of that name but i am not really mrs richard at son but a woman tossed about all alone with passions and unaccountable now you mustn t wait longer or you will lose the coach come and see me again you must come to the house then yes said when shall it be to morrow week good bye good bye she stretched out her hand and his forehead just once said good bye and went away into the darkness passing along street he thought he heard the wheels of the coach departing and truly enough when he reached the duke s arms in the market place the coach had gone it was impossible for him to get to the station on foot in time for this train and he settled himself to wait for the next the last to that night he wandered about awhile obtained something to eat and then having another half hour on his hands his feet involuntarily took him through the venerable of church with its avenues of in the direction of the schools again they were entirely in darkness she had said she lived over the way at old grove s place a house which he soon discovered from her description of its antiquity a glimmering candle light shone from a front window the shutters being yet he could see the interior clearly the floor sinking a couple of steps below the road without which had become raised during the centuries since the house was built sue evidently just come in was standing with her hat on in this front parlor or sitting room whose walls were lined with of oak reaching from floor to ceiling the latter being crossed by huge beams only a little way above her head the mantel piece was of the same heavy description carved with and work the centuries did indeed a young	45
wife who passed her time here r v the obscure she had opened a work box and was looking at a photograph having contemplated it a little while she pressed it against her bosom and put it again in its place then becoming aware that she had not obscured the windows she came forward to do so candle in hand it was too dark for her to see without but he could see her face distinctly and there was an unmistakable about the dark long lashed eyes she closed the shutters and turned away to pursue his solitary journey home whose photograph was she looking at he said he had once given her his but she had others he knew yet it was his surely he knew he should go to see her again according to her invitation those earnest men he read of the saints whom sue with gentle called his gods would have such if they doubted their own strength but he could not he might fast and pray during the whole interval but the human was more powerful in him than the divine ii however if god disposed not woman did the next morning but one brought him this note from her don t come next week on your own account don t we were too free under the influence of that morbid hymn and the twilight think no more than you can help of mary the disappointment was keen he knew her mood the look of her face when she herself at length thus but whatever her mood he could not say she was wrong in her view he replied i you are right it is a lesson in which i suppose i ought to learn at this season he despatched the note on eve and there seemed a in their but other forces and laws than theirs were in operation on monday morning he received a message from the widow ed whom he had directed to telegraph if anything serious happened your aunt is sinking come at once he threw down his tools and went three and a half hours later he was crossing the downs about and presently plunged into the field across which the short cut was made to the village as he ascended on the other side a laboring man who had been watching the obscure his approach from across the path moved uneasily and prepared to speak i can see in his face that she is dead said poor aunt it was as he had supposed and mrs had sent out the man to break the news to him she wouldn t have ee she lay like a doll glass eyes so it didn t matter that you wasn t here said he went on to the house and in the afternoon when everything was done and the out had finished their beer and gone he sat down alone in the silent place it was absolutely necessary to communicate with sue though two or three days earlier they had agreed to mutual he wrote in the terms aunt is dead having been taken almost suddenly the funeral is on friday afternoon he remained in and about through the intervening days went out on friday morning to see that the grave was finished and wondered if sue would come she had not written and that seemed to signify rather that she would come than that she would not having timed her by her only possible train he locked the door about mid day and crossed the hollow field to the verge of the by the brown house where he stood and looked over the vast prospect northward and over the nearer landscape in which stood two miles behind it a jet of white steam was travelling from the left to the right of the picture there was a long time to wait even now till he would know if she had arrived he did wait however and at last a small hired vehicle pulled up at the bottom of the hill and a person alighted the conveyance going back while the passenger began ascending the hill he knew her and she looked so slender to day that it seemed as if she might be crushed in the intensity of a too passion at ate embrace such as it was not for him to give of the way up her head suddenly took a and he knew that she had at that moment recognized him her face soon began a pensive smile which lasted till having descended a little way he met her i thought she began with nervous quickness that it would be so sad to let you attend the funeral alone and so at the last moment i came dear faithful sue mu with tha a i p h r however sue did not stand still for any further greeting though it wanted some time to the burial a pathos so unusually as that which attached to this hour was unlikely to repeat itself for years if ever and would have paused and meditated and conversed but sue either saw it not at all or seeing it more than he would not allow herself to feel it the sad and simple ceremony was soon over their progress to the church being almost at a trot the bustling having a more important funeral an hour later three miles off was put into the new ground quite away from her ancestors sue and had gone side by side to the grave and now sat down to tea in the familiar house their lives united at least in this last attention to the dead she was opposed to marriage from first to last you say murmured sue yes particularly for members of our family her eyes met his and remained on him a while we are rather a sad family don t you think she said we	45
made bad husbands and wives certainly we make unhappy ones at all events i do for one sue was silent is it wrong she said with a tremor for a husband or wife to tell a third person that they are unhappy in their marriage if a marriage ceremony is a religious thing it is possibly the obscure wrong but if it is only a sordid contract based on material convenience in and and the inheritance of land and money by children making it necessary that the male parent should be known which it seems to be why surely a person may say even proclaim upon the that it hurts and him or her i have said so anyhow to you presently she went on are there many couples do you think where one the other for no definite fault yes i suppose if either cares for another person for instance but even apart from that wouldn t the woman for example be very bad natured if she didn t like to live with her husband merely her voice and he guessed things merely because she had a personal feeling against it a physical a or whatever it may be called although she might respect and be grateful to him i am merely putting a case ought she to try to overcome her threw a troubled look at her he said looking away it would be just one of those cases in which my experiences go contrary to my speaking as an order loving man which i hope i am though i fear i am not i should say yes speaking from experience and nature i should say no sue i believe you are not happy yes i am said she excitedly how can a woman be unhappy who has only been married eight weeks to a man she chose freely chose freely why do you repeat it but i have to go back by the six o clock train you will be staying on here i suppose for a few days to wind up aunt s affairs this house is gone now shall i go to the train with you at a little laugh of objection came from sue i think not you may come part of the way but you can t go to night that train won t take you to you must stay and go back tomorrow mrs has plenty of room if you don t like to stay here very well she said i didn t tell him i would come for certain went to the widow s house adjoining to let her know and returning in a few minutes sat down again it is horrible how we are sue horrible he said abruptly with his eyes bent to the floor no why i can t tell you all my part of the gloom your part is that you ought not to have married him i saw it before you had done it but i thought i mustn t interfere i was wrong i ought to have but what makes you assume all this dear because i can see you through your feathers my poor little bird her hand lay on the table and put his upon it sue drew hers away that s absurd sue cried he after what we ve been talking about i am more strict and formal than you if it comes to that and that you should object to such an innocent action shows that you are inconsistent perhaps it was too she said only i have fancied it was a sort of trick of too frequent perhaps there you may hold it as much as you like is that good of me yes very but i must tell him who richard oh of course if you think it necessary but as it means nothing it may be him the obscure well are you sure you mean it only as my cousin absolutely sure i have no feelings of love left in me that s news how has it come to be i ve seen she at the hit then said curiously when did you see her when i was at so she s come back and you never told me i suppose you will live with her now of course just as you live with your husband she looked at the window pots with the and withered for want of attention and through them at the outer distance till her eyes began to grow moist what is it said in a softened tone why should you be so glad to go back to her if if what you used to say to me is still true i mean if it were true then of course it is not now how could your heart go back to so soon a special providence i suppose helped it on its way ah it isn t true she said with gentle resentment you are me that s all because you think i am not happy i don t know i don t wish to know if i were unhappy it would be my fault my wickedness not that i should have a right to dislike him he is considerate to me in everything and he is very interesting from the amount of general knowledge he has acquired by reading everything that comes in his way do you think that a man ought to marry a woman his own age or one younger than himself eighteen years as i am than he it depends upon what they feel for each other he gave her no opportunity of self satisfaction and she had to go on which she did in a tone on tears at i i think i must be equally honest with you as you have been with me perhaps you	45
you awake he said no i was awake how was that oh you know now i know you with your religious doctrines think that a married woman in trouble of a kind like mine a mortal sin in making a man the of it as i did you i wish i hadn t now the obscure don t wish it dear he said that may have been my view but my doctrines and i begin to part company i knew it i knew it and that s why i vowed i wouldn t disturb your but i am so glad to see you and oh i didn t mean to see you again now the last tie between us aunt is dead seized her hand and kissed it there is a stronger one left he said i ll never care about my doctrines or my religion any more let them go let me help you even if i do love you and even if you don t say it i know what you mean but i can t admit so much as that there guess what you like but don t press me to answer questions i wish you were happy whatever i may be i can t be so few could enter into my feeling they would say twas my fanciful or something of that sort and condemn me it is none of the natural of love that s love s usual tragedy in civilized life but a tragedy for people who in a natural state would find relief in parting it would have been wrong perhaps for me to tell my distress to you if i had been able to tell it to anybody else but i have nobody and i must tell somebody before i married him i had never thought out fully what marriage meant even though i knew it was of me there is no excuse i was old enough and i thought i was very experienced so i rushed on when i had got into that training school scrape with all the of the fool that i was i am certain one ought to be allowed to undo what one has done so i dare say it happens to lots of women only they submit and i kick when people of a later age f look back upon the barbarous customs and of the times that we have the to live in what will they say you are very bitter darling sue how i wish i at you must go in now in a moment of impulse she bent over the sill and laid her face upon his hair weeping and then a scarcely perceptible little kiss upon the top of his head withdrawing quickly so that he could not put his arms round her as he unquestionably would have otherwise done she shut the and he returned to his cottage ill sue s confession to s mind all the night as being a sorrow indeed the morning after when it was time for her to go the neighbors saw her companion and herself disappearing on foot down the hill path which led into the lonely road to an hour passed before he returned along the same route and in his face there was a look of exaltation not with an incident had occurred they had stood parting in the silent highway and their tense and passionate moods had led to bewildered inquiries of each other on how far their intimacy ought to go till they had almost quarrelled and she had said that it was hardly proper of him as a parson in to think of such a thing as kissing her even in farewell as he now wished to do then she had that the fact of the kiss would be nothing all would depend upon the spirit of it if given in the spirit of a cousin and a friend she saw no objection if in the spirit of a lover she could not permit it will you swear that it will not be in that spirit she had said no he would not and then they had turned from each other in and gone their several ways till at a distance of twenty or thirty yards both had looked round simultaneously that look behind was fatal to the reserve hitherto more or less maintained they had quickly run back and met and embracing most kissed each other when they parted for at good it was with flushed cheeks on her side and a beating heart on his the kiss was a ng point in s career again in the cottage left to reflection he saw one thing that though his kiss with that being ha seemed the purest moment of his life as long as he nourished this tenderness it was inconsistent for him to pursue the idea of becoming the soldier and servant of a religion in which love was regarded as at its best a and at its worst what sue had said in warmth was really the cold truth when to defend his affection tooth and nail to persist with headlong force in impassioned attentions to her was all he thought of he was condemned as a professor of the accepted school of morals he was as unfit obviously by nature as he had been by social position to fill the part of a of strange t hat his first towards had been by a that his towards had also been fo y man is it he said that the i blame or is it the artificial system of things which the normal sex impulses are turned into domestic and to and hold back who want to progress it had been his standing desire to become a prophet however humble to his struggling fellow creatures out any thought of personal gain yet with a wife	45
living away from him with another husband and himself in love the loved one s revolt against her state being possibly on his account he had sunk to be barely respectable according to views it was not for him to consider further he had only to the obvious which was that he had made himself quite an as a law abiding religious teacher the obscure at dusk that evening he went into the garden and dug a shallow hole to which he brought out all the and works that he possessed he knew that in this country of true most of them were not at a much higher price than waste paper value and preferred to get rid of them in his own way even if he should sacrifice a little money to the sentiment of thus destroying them lighting some loose to begin with he cut the volumes into pieces as well as he could and with a three fork shook them over the flames they kindled and lighted up the back of the house and pig and his own face till they were more or less consumed though he was almost a stranger here now passing talked to him over the garden hedge burning up your aunt s i suppose aye a lot gets heaped up in and corners when you ve lived eighty years in one house it was nearly one o clock in the morning before the leaves covers and binding of butler and the rest had gone to ashes but the night was quiet and as he turned and turned the paper with the fork the sense of being no longer a to himself afforded a relief to his mind which gave him calm he might go on believing as before but he professed nothing and no longer owned and exhibited engines of faith which as their proprietor he might naturally be supposed to exercise on himself first of all in his passion for sue he could now stand as an ordinary sinner and not as a meanwhile sue after parting from him earlier in the day had gone along to the station with tears in her eyes for having run back and let him kiss her ought not to have pretended that he was not a lover and made her give way to an impulse to act if not she was inclined to call it the latter for sue s logic was and seemed to at maintain that before a thing was done it might be right to do but that being done it became wrong or in other words that things which were right in theory were wrong in practice i have been too weak i think she jerked out as she on shaking down tear drops now and then it was burning like a lover s oh it was and i won t write to him any more or at least for a long time to impress him with my dignity and i hope it will hurt him very much expecting a letter to morrow morning and the next and the next and no letter coming he ll suffer then with suspense won t he that s all and i am very glad of it tears of pity for s approaching sufferings at her hands mingled with those which had up in pity for herself then the slim little wife of a husband whose person was disagreeable to her the ethereal fine sensitive girl quite by temperament and instinct to fulfil the conditions of the matrimonial relation with possibly with any man walked along and panted and brought weariness into her eyes by gazing and worrying hopelessly met her at the arrival station and seeing that she was troubled thought it must be owing to the effect of her aunt s death and funeral he began telling her of his day s doings and how his friend a neighboring school master whom he had not seen for years had called upon him while ascending to the town seated on the top of the beside him she said suddenly and with an air of self regarding the white road and its bushes of richard i let mr hold my hand i don t know whether you think it wrong he waking apparently from thoughts of far different mould said vaguely oh did you what did you do that for the obscure i don t know he wanted to and i let him i hope it pleased him i should think it was hardly a novelty they into silence had this been a case in the i court of an judge he might have entered on his notes the curious fact that sue had placed the minor for the major and had not said a word about the kiss after tea that evening hot son sat the school she remained in an unusually silent tense and restless condition and at last saying she was tired went to bed early when arrived upstairs weary with the of the attendance numbers it was a quarter to twelve o clock entering their chamber which by day commanded a view of some thirty or forty miles over the of and even into outer he went to the window and pressing his face against the pane gazed with hard breathing into the mysterious darkness which now covered the scene he was musing i think he said at last without turning his head that i must get the committee to change the school all the are sent wrong this time there was no reply thinking sue was he went on and there must be a of that in the class room the wind blows down upon my head and gives me the as the silence seemed more absolute than ordinarily he turned round the heavy gloomy oak which extended over the walls up stairs and down in the old grove s house and	45
of me to ask it it is irregular s the obscure but t do ask it domestic laws should be made according to which should be if people are at all peculiar in character they have to suffer from the very rules that produce comfort in others will you let me but we married what is the use of thinking of laws and she burst out if they make you miserable when you know you are committing no sin but you are committing a sin in not liking me i do like you but i didn t reflect it would be that it would be so much more than that for a man and woman to live on intimate terms when one feels as i do is in any circumstances however legal there i ve said it will you let me richard you distress me by such why can t we agree to free each other we made the compact and surely we can it not of course but we can morally especially as no new interests in the shape of children have arisen to be looked after then we might be friends and meet without pain to either oh richard be my friend and have pity we shall both be dead in a few years and then what will it matter to anybody that you relieved me from for a little while i dare say you think me eccentric or sensitive or something absurd well why should i suffer for what i was born to be if it doesn t hurt other people but it does it hurts me and you vowed to love yes that s it i am in the wrong i always am it is as to bind yourself to love always as to believe a creed always and as silly as to vow always to like a particular food or drink and do you mean by living away from me living by yourself well if you insisted yes but i meant living with at as his wife as i choose sue continued she or he who lets the d or his own portion of it choose his plan of life for him has no need of any o ther faculty than the like one of im j s mill s words those are why can t you act upon them i wish to always what do i care about j s mill moaned he i only want to lead a quiet life do you mind my saying that i have guessed what never once occurred to me before our marriage that you were in love and are in love with you may go on that i am since you have begun but do you suppose that if i had been i should have asked you to let me go and live with him the ringing of the school bell saved from the necessity of replying at present to what apparently did not strike him as being such a convincing ad as she in her loss of courage at the last moment meant it to appear she was beginning to be so and that he was ready to throw in with her other little peculiarities the request which a wife could make they proceeded to the schools that morning as usual sue entering the class room where he could see the back of her head through the glass whenever he turned his eyes that way as he went on giving and hearing lessons his forehead and eyebrows from concentrated agitation of thought till at length he tore a scrap from a sheet of paper and wrote your request prevents my attending to work at all i don t know what i am doing was it seriously made he folded the piece of paper very small and gave it to a little boy to take to sue the child off into the obscure the class room saw his wife turn and take the note and the bend of her pretty head as she read it her lips slightly to prevent undue expression under fire of so many young eyes he could not see her hands but she changed her position and soon the child returned bringing nothing in reply in a few minutes however one of sue s class appeared with a little note similar to his own these words only were therein lam sincerely sorry to say that it was seriously made looked more disturbed than before and the meeting place of his brows again in ten minutes he called up the child he had just sent to her and despatched another god knows i don t want to you in any reasonable way my whole thought is to make you comfortable and happy but i cannot agree to such a preposterous notion as your going to live with your lover you would lose everybody s respect and regard and so should i after an interval a similar part was in the class room and an answer came i k now you m my good but i do n t want to be e to pr nt in its richest t o quote h u is mv mind far above no doubt my tastes are low in your view hopelessly low if you won t let me go to him will you grant me this one request allow me to live in your house in a separate way to this he returned no answer she wrote again i know what you think but cannot you have pity on me i beg you to i you to be merciful i would not ask if i were not almost compelled by what i can t bear no poor at woman has ever wished more than i that eve had not fallen so that as the primitive christians believed some harmless mode of vegetation might have	45
peopled paradise but i won t trifle to me e ven though i have not been kind to you i will go away go abroad mid u you nearly an hour passed and then he returned an answer i do not wish to pain you how well you know i don t give me a little time i am disposed to agree to your last request one line from her thank you from my heart richard i do not deserve your kindness all day bent a dazed regard upon her through the glazed and he felt as lonely as when he had not known her but he was as good as his word and consented to her living apart in the house at first when they met at meals she had seemed more composed under the new arrangement but the of their position worked on her temperament and the of her nature seemed strained like harp strings she talked vaguely and to prevent his talking f iv was sitting up late as was often his custom trying to get together the materials for his of roman for the first time since the subject he felt a return of his old interest in it he forgot time and place and when he remembered himself and ascended to rest it was nearly two o clock his was such that though he now slept on the other side of the house he mechanically went to the room that he and his wife had occupied when he first became a tenant of old grove s place which since his differences with sue had been hers exclusively he entered and unconsciously began to there was a cry from the bed and a quick movement before the school master had realized where he was he perceived sue starting up half awake staring wildly and springing out upon the floor on the side away from him which was towards the window this was somewhat hidden by the of the and in a moment he heard her flinging up the before he had thought that she meant to do more than get air she had mounted upon the sill and leaped out she disappeared in the darkness and he heard her fall below ran down stairs striking himself sharply against the in his haste opening the heavy door he ascended the two or three steps to the level of the ground and there on the gravel before him lay a white heap seized it in his arms and bringing sue into the hall seated her on a chair where at he gazed at her by the flapping light of the candle which he had set down in the draught on the bottom stair she had certainly not broken her neck she looked w at him with eyes that seemed not to take him in and though not particularly large in general they appeared so now she pressed her side and rubbed her arm as if conscious of pain then stood up her face in evident distress at his gaze thank god you are not killed though it s not for want of trying nor much hurt i hope her fall in fact had not been a serious one probably owing to the of the old rooms and to the high level of the ground outside beyond a scraped elbow and a blow in the side she had apparently incurred little harm i was asleep i think she began her pale face still turned away from him and something frightened me a terrible dream i thought i saw you the actual circumstances seemed to come back to her and she was f silent her cloak was hanging at the back of the door and i the wretched flung it round her shall i help you up stairs he asked for the of all this him of himself and of everything no thank you richard i am very little hurt i can walk you ought to lock your door he mechanically said as if in school then no one could intrude even by accident i have tried it won t lock all the doors are out of order the aspect of things was not improved by her admission she ascended the staircase slowly the waving light of the candle shining on her did not approach her or attempt to ascend himself till he heard her enter her room then he fastened up the front door and t t the obscure returning sat down on the lower stairs holding the with one hand and bowing his face into the other thus he remained for a long long a pitiable object enough to one who had seen him till raising his head and sighing a sigh which seemed to say that the business of his life must be carried on whether he had a wife or no he took the candle and went up stairs to his lonely room on the other side of the landing no further incident touching the matter between them occurred till the following evening when immediately school was over walked out of saying i he required no tea and not informing sue where he was i going he descended from the town level by a steep road in a direction and continued to move downward till the soil changed from its white to a tough brown clay he was now on the low beds where is the traveller s mark and s a rolling more than once he looked back in the increasing obscurity of evening against the sky was dimly visible on the gray d height of as pale day wore away the new lit lights from its windows burned with a steady shine as if watching him one of which windows was his own above it he could just discern the tower of church the air down here tempered by the thick damp bed of clay was not	45
as it had been above but soft and so that when he had walked a mile or two he was obliged to wipe his face with his handkerchief william at sh leaving hill on the left he proceeded without hesitation through the shade as a man goes on night or day in a district over which he has played as a boy he had walked altogether about four and a half miles when he crossed the of the and reached a little town of three or four thou sand inhabitants where he went on to the boys school and knocked at the door of the master s residence a boy pupil teacher opened it and to s inquiry if mr was at home replied that he was going at once off to his own house and leaving to find his way in as he could he discovered his friend putting away some books from which he had been giving evening lessons the light of the lamp fell on s face pale and wretched by contrast with his friend s who had a cool practical look they had been in boyhood and fellow students at training college many years before this time glad to see you dick but you don t look well nothing the matter advanced without replying and closed the cupboard and pulled up beside his visitor why you haven t been here let me see since you were married i called you know but you were out and upon my word it is such a climb after dark that i have been waiting till the days are longer before ing up again i am glad you didn t wait however though well trained and even masters they occasionally used a dialect word of their boyhood to each other in private i ve come george to explain to you my reasons for taking a step that i am about to take so that you at least will understand my motives if other people question them as they may indeed certainly will but anything is better than the present condition of things god forbid that you should ever have such an experience as mine the obscure sit down you don t mean anything wrong between you and mrs i do my wretched state is that i ve a wife i love who not only does not love me but but well i won t say i know her feeling i should prefer hatred from her s sh and the sad part of it is that she is not so much to blame as i she was a pupil teacher under me as you know and i took advantage of her and her out for walks and got her to agree to a long engagement before she well knew her own mind afterwards she saw somebody else but she blindly fulfilled her engagement loving the other yes with a curious tender solicitude seemingly though her exact feeling for him is a riddle to me and to him too i think possibly to herself she is one of the creatures i ever met however i have been struck with these two facts the extraordinary sympathy or ty between the pair he is her cousin which perhaps accounts for some of it they seem ta he one and with her aversion to husband even though she may like me as a friend tis too much to bear longer she has struggled against it but to no purpose i cannot bear it i cannot i can t answer her arguments she has read ten times as much as i her intellect like diamonds while mine like brown paper she s one too many for me she ll get over it good now never it is but i won t go into it there are reasons why she never will at last she calmly and firmly asked if she might leave me and go to him the climax came last night when owing to my entering her room by accident she jumped out of window so strong was her dread of me she pretended it was a dream but that j accounts for split in two f myself as a h at was to soothe me now when a woman out of window without caring whether she breaks her neck or no she s not to be mistaken and this being the case i r have come to a conclusion that it is wrong to so torture a fellow creature any longer and i won t be the wretch to do it cost what it may what you ll let her go and with her lover whom with is her matter i shall let her go with him certainly if she wishes i know i may be wrong i know i can t or defend my sion to such a wish of hers or it with the doctrines i was brought up in only i know one thing something within me tells me i am doing wrong in refusing her i like other men profess to hold that if a v band gets such a so called preposterous request from his wife the only course that can possibly be regarded as right and proper and honorable in him is to refuse it and put her under lock and key and murder her lover perhaps but is that essentially right and proper and honorable or is it mean and selfish i don t profess to decide i simply am going to act by instinct and let principles take care of themselves if a person who has blindly walked into a cries for help i am inclined to give it if possible but you see there s the question of neighbors and society what will happen if everybody i	45
oh i am not going to be a philosopher any longer i only see what s under my eyes well i don t agree with your instinct dick said gravely i am quite amazed to tell the truth that such a fellow as you should have entertained such a for a moment you said when i called that she was and peculiar i think you are have you ever stood before a woman whom you know to be a good woman while she has pleaded the obscure for release been the man she has knelt to and implored indulgence of i am thankful to say i haven t then i don t think you are in a position to give an opinion i have been that man and it makes all the difference in the world if one has any or chivalry in him i had not the remotest idea living apart from women as i have done for so many years that merely taking a woman to church and putting a ring upon her finger could by any possibility involve one in such a daily continuous tragedy as that now shared by her and me well i could admit some excuse for letting her leave you provided she kept to herself but to go attended by a that makes a difference not a bit suppose as i believe she would rather endure her present misery than be made to promise to keep apart from him all that is a question for herself it is not the same thing at all as the treachery of living on with a husband and playing him false however she has not distinctly implied living with him as wife though i think she means to and to the best of my understanding it is not an merely animal feeling between the two that is the worst of it because it makes me think their affection will be enduring i did not mean to confess to you that in the first jealous weeks of my marriage before i had come to my right mind i hid myself in the school one evening when they were together there and i heard what they said i am ashamed of it now though i suppose i was only a legal right i found from their manner that an extraordinary or sympathy entered into their attachment which somehow took away all flavor of their supreme desire is to be together to share each other s emotions and fancies and dreams well no would be nearer to it they re at mind me of and also of paul and virginia a little the more i reflect the more entirely i am on their side but if people did as you want to do d be domestic d tion th e family would no r the yes i am all abroad i suppose said sadly i was never a very bright you remember and yet i don t see why the woman and the children should not be the without the man by the lord harry does she say all this too oh no she little thinks i have out sue in this all in the last twelve hours it will upset all received opinion good god what will say i don t say that it won t i don t know i don t know say i am only a not a now said let us take it quietly and have something to drink over it he went under the stairs and produced a bottle of wine of which they drank a each i think you are and not yourself he continued do go back and make up your mind to put up with a few but keep her i hear on all sides that she s a charming young thing ah yes that s the bitterness of it well i won t stay i have a long walk before me accompanied his friend a mile on his way and at parting expressed his hope that this consultation singular as its subject was would be the renewal of their old stick to her were his last words flung into the darkness after from which his friend answered aye aye but when was alone under the clouds of night and no sound was audible but that of the of the he said so my friend you had no stronger arguments against it than those the obscure i think she ought to be and brought to her senses that s what i think murmured as he walked back alone the next morning came and at breakfast told sue you may go with whom you will i absolutely and agree having once come to this conclusion it seemed to more and more the true one his mild serenity at the sense that he was doing his duty by a woman who was at his mercy almost overpowered his grief at her some days passed and the evening of their last meal together was come a cloudy evening with wind which indeed was very seldom absent in this elevated place how permanently it was upon his vision that look of her as she glided into the parlor to tea a slim figure a face strained from its and marked by the of restless days and nights suggesting tragic possibilities quite at with her times of a trying of this morsel and that and an inability to eat either her nervous manner of a fear lest he should be injured by her course might have been interpreted by a stranger as displeasure that his presence on her for the few brief minutes that remained you had better have a of ham or an egg t or something with your tea you can t travel on a of bread and butter she took the he helped her to and they discussed as they	45
when it was done closed the box and turned the key there he said to adorn her in somebody s eyes never again in mine i four and twenty hours before this time sue had written the following note to it is as i told you and i am leaving to morrow evening richard and i thought it could he done with less after dark i feel rather frightened and therefore ask you to be sure you are on the platform to meet me by the train arriving at a quarter to nine i know you will of course dear but feel so timid that i can t help begging you to be punctual he has been so very kind to me through it all now to our meeting s as she was carried by the farther and farther down from the mountain town the single passenger that evening she regarded the receding road with a sad face but no hesitation was apparent therein the up train by which she was departing stopped by signal only to sue it seemed strange that such a powerful organization as a railway train should be brought to a on purpose for her a fugitive from her lawful home the twenty minutes journey drew towards its close and sue began gathering her things together to alight at the moment that the train came to a by the platform a hand was laid on the door and she beheld he entered the promptly he had a black bag in his hand and was dressed in the i dark suit he wore on sundays and in the evening after work altogether he looked a very handsome young fellow his ardent affection for her burning in his eyes i at l oh she clasped his hand with both hers and her tense state caused her to over in a little succession of dry sobs i i am so glad i get out here no i get in dear one i ve packed besides this bag i ve only a big box which is but don t i get out aren t we going to stay here we couldn t possibly don t you see we are known here i at any rate am well known i ve for and here s your ticket for the same place as you have only one to here i thought we should have stayed here she repeated it wouldn t have done at all ah perhaps not there wasn t time for me to write and say the place i had decided on is a much bigger town sixty or seventy thousand inhabitants and nobody knows anything about us there and you have given up your cathedral work here yes it was rather sudden your message coming unexpectedly strictly i might have been made to finish out the week but i pleaded and i was let off i would have deserted any day at your command dear sue i have deserted more than that for you i fear i am doing you a lot of harm g your of the church your progress in your t the church is no more to me let it lie am not to be one of the soldier saints who row on row burn upward each to his point of bliss if any such there be my point of bliss is not upward but here oh i seem so bad men s courses like this said she taking up in her voice the emotion that had begun in his but she recovered her by the time they had travelled a dozen miles the obscure he has been so good in letting me go she resumed and here s a note i found on my dressing table addressed to you yes he s not an unworthy fellow said glancing at the note and i am ashamed of myself for him because he married you according to the rule of women s i suppose i ought to suddenly love him because he has let me go so generously and unexpectedly she answered smiling but i am so cold or devoid of gratitude or so something that even this generosity hasn t made me love him or repent or want to stay with him as his wife although i do feel i like his large minded ness and respect him than ever it may not work so well for us as if he had been less kind and you had run away against his will murmured that i never would have done s eyes rested on her face then he suddenly kissed her and was going to kiss her again no only once now please that s rather cruel he answered but such a strange thing has happened to me continued after a silence has actually written to ask me to get a divorce from her in kindness to her she says she wants to honestly and marry that man she has already married and me to enable her to do it what have you done i have agreed i thought at first i couldn t do it without getting her into trouble about that second marriage and i don t want to injure her in any way perhaps she s no worse than i am after all but nobody knows about it over here and i find it will not be a t proceeding at all if she wants to start afresh i have only too obvious reasons for not her then you ll be free y at yes i shall be free where are we for she asked with the that marked her to night as i said but it will be very late when we get there yes i thought of that and i for a room for us at the hotel there one one she looked at him oh sue bent	45
her forehead against the corner of the i thought you might do it and that i was deceiving you but i didn t mean that in the pause which followed s eyes fixed themselves with a expression on the opposite seat well i he said well he remained in silence but seeing how he was she put her face against his cheek murmuring don t be vexed dear oh there s no harm done he said but i understood it like that is this a sudden change of mind you have no right to ask me such a question and i sha n t answer she said smiling my dear one your happiness is more to me than anything although we seem to verge on quarrelling so often and your will is law to me i am something more than a mere selfish fellow i hope have it as you wish on reflection his brow showed perplexity but perhaps it is that you don t love me not that you have become conventional much as under your teaching i hate i hope it is that not the other terrible alternative even at this obvious moment for sue could not be quite candid as to the state of that mystery her heart put it down to my timidity she said with hurried to a woman s natural timidity when the crisis comes i may feel as well as you that i have a perfect right to live with you as you thought from this moment the obscure i may hold the opinion that in a proper state of society the father of a woman s child will be as much a private matter of hers as the cut of her under linen on whom nobody will have any right to conjecture but partly perhaps because it is by his generosity that i am now free i would rather not be other than a little rigid if there had been a rope ladder and he had run after us with pistols it would have seemed different and may have acted otherwise but don t press me and me assume that i haven t the courage of my opinions i know i am a poor miserable creature my nature is not so passionate as yours he repeated simply i what i naturally thought but if we are not lovers we are not thought so i am sure see here is what he has written to me he opened the letter she had brought and read make only one condition that you are tender and kind to her i know you love her but even love may be cruel at times you are made for each other it is obvious palpable to any third person you were all along the shadowy third in my short life with her i repeat take care of sue he s a good fellow isn t he she said with latent tears on she added he was very resigned to letting me go too resigned almost i never was so near being in love with him as when he made such thoughtful arrangements for my being comfortable on my journey and offering to provide money yet i was not if i loved him ever so little as a wife i d go back to him even now but you don t do you it is true oh so terribly true i don t nor me neither i half fear he said nor anybody perhaps sue sometimes when i am vexed with you i think you are incapable of real that s not good and loyal of you she said and r at drawing away from him as far as she could looked severely out into the darkness she presently added in hurt tones turning round my liking for you is not as some women s perhaps but it is a delight in being with you of a delicate kind and i don t want to go further and risk it by an attempt to it i quite realized that as woman with man it was a risk to come but as me with you i resolved to trust you to set my wishes above your gratification don t discuss it further dear of course if it would make you reproach yourself but you do like me very much sue say you do say that you do a quarter a tenth as much as i do you and i ll be content ive let and that tells enough just once or so well don t be a greedy boy he leaned back and did hot look at her for a long time that episode in her past history of which she had told him of the poor whom she had handled returned to s mind and he saw himself as a possible second in such a destiny this is a queer he murmured perhaps you are making a cat s of me with all this time upon my word it almost seems so to see you sitting up there so now you mustn t be angry i won t let you she turning and moving nearer to him you did kiss me just now you know and i didn t dislike you to very much only i don t want to let you do it again just yet considering how we are don t you see he could never resist her when she pleaded as she well knew and they sat side by side with joined hands till she aroused herself at some thought i can t possibly go to that inn after your that message the obscure why not you can see well enough very well there ll be some other one open no doubt i have sometimes thought since your marrying because of a stupid scandal that the affectation of	45
independent views you are as to the social code as any woman i know not mentally but i haven t the courage of my views as i said before i didn t marry him altogether because of the scandal but sometimes a woman s being loved gets the better of her conscience and she is at the thought of treating a man cruelly she him to love her while she doesn t love him at all then when she sees him suffering her remorse sets in and she does what she can to repair the wrong you simply mean that you with him poor old chap and then repented and to make married him though you tortured yourself to death by doing it well if you will put it it was a little like that that and the scandal together and your concealing from me what you ought to have told me before he could see that she was distressed and tearful at his and soothed her saying there dear don t mind me if you will you know you are all the world to me whatever you do i am very bad and i know you think that she said trying to away her tears i think and know you are my dear sue from whom neither length nor breadth nor things present nor things to come can divide me though so in many things she was such a child in others that this satisfied her and they reached the end of their journey on the best of terms it was about ten o clock when they arrived at the county town of north as she would not go to at the hotel because of the form of his inquired for another and a youth who volunteered to find one wheeled their luggage to a place near at hand which proved to be the inn at which had stayed with on that one occasion of their meeting after their division for years owing however to their now entering it by another door and to his he did not at first recognize the place when they had engaged their respective rooms they went down to a late supper during s temporary absence the waiting maid spoke to sue i think ma am i remember your relation or friend or whatever he is coming here once late just like this with his a lady at any rate that wasn t you by no manner of means jest as be with you now oh do you said sue with a certain sickness of heart though i think you must be mistaken how long ago was it about a month or two a handsome full figured woman when came back and sat down to supper sue seemed and miserable she said to him at their parting that night upon the landing it is not so nice and pleasant as it used to be with us i don t like it here i can t bear the place and i don t like you so well as i did how you seem dear why do you change like this because it was cruel to bring me here why you were lately here with there now i have said it dear me why said looking round him yes it is the same i really didn t know it sue well it is not cruel since we have come as we have two relations staying together the obscure how long ago was it you were here tell me tell me the day before i met you in when we went back to mary green together i told you i had met her yes you said you had met her but you didn t tell me all your story was that you had met as people who were not husband and wife at all in heaven s not that you had made it up with her we didn t make it up he said sadly i can t explain sue you ve been false to me you my last hope and i shall never forget it never but by your own wish dear sue we are only to be friends not lovers it is so very inconsistent of you to friends can be jealous i don t see that you nothing to me a and i have to everything to you after all you were on good terms with your husband at that time no i wasn t oh how can you think so and you have taken me in even if you didn t intend to she was so that he was obliged to take her into her room and close the door lest the people should hear was it this room yes it was i see by your look it was i won t have it for mine oh it was treacherous of you to have her again jumped out of the window but sue she was after all my legal wife if not slipping down on her knees sue buried her face in the bed and wept i never knew such an unreasonable such a dog feeling said i am not to approach you nor anybody else oh don t you understand my feeling why don t you why are you so gross jumped out of the window jumped out of window at i can t explain it was true that he did not understand her feeling very well but he did a little and began to love her none the less i i thought you cared for nobody desired nobody in the world but me at that time and ever since continued sue it is true i did not and don t now said as distressed as she but you must have thought much of her or no i need not you don	45
t understand me either women never do why should you get into such a about nothing looking up from the she replied if it hadn t been for that perhaps i would have gone on to the hotel after all as you proposed for i was beginning to think i did belong to you oh it is of no consequence said i thought of course that she had never been really your wife since she left you of her own accord years and years ago my sense of it was that a parting such as yours from her and mine from him ended the marriage i can t say more without speaking against her and i don t want to do that said he yet i must tell you one thing which would settle the matter in any case she has married another man really married him i knew nothing about it till after the visit we made here married another it is a crime as the world treats it but does not believe there now you are yourself again yes it is a crime as you don t hold but would fearfully but i shall never inform against her and it is evidently a of conscience in her that has led her to urge me to get a divorce that she may re marry this man so you perceive i shall not be likely to see her again and you didn t really know anything of this when you saw her said sue more gently as she rose i i i ft v the obscure i did not considering all things i don t think you ought to be angry darling i am not but i sha n t go to the hotel he laughed never mind he said so that i am near you i am comparatively happy it is more than this earthly wretch called me deserves you spirit you creature you dear sweet phantom hardly flesh at all so that when i put my arms round you i almost expect them to pass through you as through air forgive me for being gross as you call it remember that our calling cousins when really strangers was a the enmity of our parents gave a to you in my eyes that was even than the novelty of ordinary new acquaintance say those pretty lines then from s as if they meant me she up closer to him as they stood don t you know them i know hardly any poetry he replied mournfully don t you these are some of them there was a being whom my spirit oft met on its wanderings far aloft a of heaven too gentle to be human beneath that radiant form of woman oh it is too flattering so i won t go on but say it s me say it s me it ts you dear exactly like you now i forgive you and you shall kiss me just once there not very long she put the tip of her finger to her cheek and he did as commanded you do care for me very much don t you in spite of my not you know yes sweet he said with a sigh and bade her vi in returning to his native town of as had won the interest and awakened the memories of the inhabitants who though they did not honor him for his miscellaneous as he would have been honored elsewhere retained for him a sincere regard when shortly after his arrival he brought home a pretty wife awkwardly pretty for him if he did not take care they said they were glad to have her settle among them for some time after her flight from that home sue s absence did not excite comment her place as in the school was taken by another young woman within a few days of her it which also passed without remark sue s services having been of a nature only when however a month had passed and casually admitted to acquaintance that he did not know where his wife was staying curiosity began to be aroused till jumping to conclusions people ventured to affirm that sue had played him false and run away from him the school master s growing languor and over his work gave countenance to the idea though had held his tongue as long as he could except to his friend his honesty and would not allow him to do so when as to sue s conduct spread abroad on a monday morning the of the school committee called and after attending to the business of the school drew aside out of of the children ti the obscure you ll excuse my asking since everybody is talking of it is this true as to your domestic affairs that your wife s going away was on no visit but a secret with a lover if so i with you don t said there was no secret about it she has gone to visit friends no then what happened she has gone away under circumstances that usually call for with the husband but i gave my consent the looked as if he had not apprehended the remark what i say is quite true continued she asked leave to go away with her lover and i let her why shouldn t i a woman of full age it was a question for her own conscience not for me i was not her i can t explain any further i don t wish to be questioned the children observed that much seriousness marked the faces of the two men and went home and told their parents that something new had happened about mrs then s little maid servant who was a school girl just out of her standards said that mr had	45
very ill and and as i know that you recognize other feelings between man and woman than physical love i have come i am not very ill my dear friend only the obscure i didn t know that and i am afraid that only a severe illness would have justified my coming yes yes and i almost wish you had not come it is a little too that s all i mean still let us make the best of it you haven t heard about the school i suppose no what about it only that i am going away from here to another place the and i don t agree and we are going to that s all sue did not for a moment either now or later suspect what troubles had resulted to him from letting her go it never once seemed to cross her mind and she had received no news whatever from they talked on slight and subjects and when his tea was brought up he told the amazed little servant that a cup was to be set for sue that young person was much more interested in their history than they supposed and as she descended the stairs she lifted her eyes and hands in grotesque amazement while they sue went to the window and thoughtfully said it is such a beautiful sunset richard they are mostly beautiful from here owing to the rays crossing the mist of the but i lose them all as they don t shine into this gloomy corner where i lie wouldn t you like to see this particular one it is like heaven opened ah yes but i can t i ll help you to no the can t be shifted but see how i mean she went to where a swing glass stood and taking it in her hands carried it to a spot by the window where it could catch the sunshine moving the glass till the beams were reflected into s face there you can see the great red sun now she said and i am sure it will cheer you i do so hope it will at she spoke with a child like kindness as if she could not do too much for him smiled sadly you are an odd creature he murmured as the sun glowed in his eyes the idea of your coming to see me after what has passed don t let us go back upon that she said quickly i have to catch the for the train as t doesn t know i have come he was out when i started so i must return home almost directly richard i am so very glad you are better you don t hate me do you you have been such a kind friend to me i am glad to know you think so said no i don t hate you it grew dusk quickly in the gloomy room during their chat and when candles were brought and it was time to leave she put her hand in or rather allowed it to through his for she was significantly light in touch she had nearly closed the door when he said sue he had noticed that in turning away from him tears were on her face and a quiver in her lip it was bad policy to recall her he knew it while he pursued it but he could not help it she came back h sue he murmured do you wish to make it up and stay i ll forgive you and everything oh you can t you can t she said hastily you can t it now he is your husband now in effect you mean of course you may assume it he is obtaining a divorce from his wife his wife it is altogether news to me that he has a wife it was a bad marriage like yours like mine he is not doing it so much on his own account as on hers she wrote and told him it would be the obscure a kindness to her since then she could marry and live and has agreed a wife a kindness to her ah yes a kindness to her to release her altogether but i don t like the sound of it can forgive sue no no you can t have me back now i have been so wicked as to do what i have done there had arisen in sue s face that fright which showed itself whenever he changed from friend to husband and which made her adopt any line of defence against feeling in him i must go now i ll come again may i i don t ask you to go even now i ask you to stay thank you richard but i must as you are not so ill as i thought i cannot stay she s his his from lips to heel said but so faintly that in closing the door she did not hear it the dread of a change in the school master s sentiments coupled perhaps with a faint at letting even him know what a lack of from a man s point of view her transferred prevented her telling him of her thus far relations with and lay like a man in hell as he pictured the prettily dressed compound of sympathy and who bore his name returning impatiently to the home of her lover was so interested in s affairs and so seriously concerned about him that he walked up the hill side to two or three times a week although there and back it was a journey of nine miles which had to be performed between tea and supper after a hard day s work in school when he called on the next occasion after sue s visit his friend was down stairs and noticed that his restless mood had been	45
by a more fixed and composed one at she s been here since you called last said not mrs yes ah you have made it up no she just came patted my pillow with her little white hand played the thoughtful nurse for half an hour and went away i m hanged a little what do you say nothing what do you mean i mean what a capricious little woman if she were not your wife she is not she s another man s except in name and law and i have been thinking it was suggested to me by a conversation i had with her that in kindness to her i ought to the legal tie altogether which singularly enough i think i can do now she has been back and refused my request to stay after i said i had forgiven her i believe that fact would afford me opportunity of doing it though i did not see it at the moment what s the use of keeping her chained on to me if she doesn t belong to me i know i feel absolutely certain that she would welcome my taking such a step as the greatest charity to her for though as a fellow creature she with and me and even for me as a husband she cannot endure me she me there s no use in words she me and my only manly and dignified and merciful course is to complete what i have begun and for worldly reasons too it will be better for her to be independent i have hopelessly ruined my prospects because of my decision as to what was best for us though she does not know it i see only dire poverty ahead from my feet to the grave for i can be accepted as teacher no more i shall probably have enough to do to make both ends meet during the remainder of my life now my occupation s gone and i the obscure shall be better able to bear it alone i may as well tell you that what has suggested my letting her go is some news she brought me the news that is doing the same oh he had a too a queer couple these lovers well i don t want your opinion on that what i was going to say is that my her can do her no possible harm and will open up a chance of happiness for her which she has never dreamed of hitherto for then they ll be able to marry as they ought to have done at first did not hurry to reply i may with your motive he said gently for he respected views he could not share but i think you are right in your determination if you can carry it out i doubt however if you can part v at and elsewhere thy part and all t u fiery parts which are mingled in thee though by nature they have an upward tendency still in obedience to the disposition of the universe they are overpowered here in the compound mass the body m long i how s doubts were disposed of will most quickly appear by passing over the series of dreary months and incidents that followed the events of the last chapter and coming on to a sunday in the february of the year following sue and were living in in precisely the same relations that they had established between themselves when she left to join him the year before the proceedings in the law courts had reached their consciousness but as a distant sound and an occasional which they hardly understood they had met as usual to breakfast together in the little house with s name on it that he had taken at fifteen pounds a year with pounds ten extra for and taxes and furnished with his aunt s ancient and goods which had cost him about their full value to bring all the way from sue kept house and managed everything as he entered the room this morning sue held up a letter she had just received well and what is it about he said after kissing her that the decree in the case of and pronounced six months ago has just been made absolute ah said as he sat down the same concluding incident in s suit against had occurred about a month or two earlier both cases had been too insignificant to be reported in the obscure the papers further than by name in a long list of other cases now then sue at any rate you can do what you like he looked at his sweetheart curiously are we you and i just as free now as if we had never married at all just as free except i believe that a clergyman may object personally to re marry you and hand the job on to somebody else but i wonder do you think it is really so with us i know it is generally but i have an uncomfortable feeling that my freedom has been obtained under false how well if the truth about us had been known the decree wouldn t have been pronounced it is only is it because we have made no defence and have led them into a false supposition therefore is my freedom lawful however proper it may be well why did you let it be under false you have only yourself to blame he said don t you ought not to be about that still you must take me as i am very well darling so i will perhaps you were right as to your question we were not obliged to prove anything that was their business anyhow we are living together yes though not in their sense one thing is certain that however brought about a marriage	45
is dissolved when it is dissolved there is this advantage in being poor obscure people like us that these things are done for us in a rough and ready fashion it was the same with me and i was afraid her criminal second marriage would have been discovered and she punished but nobody took any interest in her nobody inquired nobody suspected it if we d been we should have had infinite trouble at and elsewhere and days and weeks would have been spent in by degrees sue acquired her lover s cheerfulness at the sense of freedom and proposed that they should take a walk in the fields even if they had to put up with a cold dinner on account of it agreed and sue went upstairs prepared to start putting on a joyful colored of her liberty seeing which put on a lighter tie now we ll arm in arm he said like any other engaged couple we ve a legal right to they out of the town and along a path over the low lying lands that bordered it though these were frosty now and the extensive seed fields were bare of color and produce the pair however were so absorbed in their own situation that their surroundings were little in their consciousness well my dearest the result of all this is that we can marry after a decent interval yes i suppose we can said sue without enthusiasm and aren t we going to i don t like to say no dear but i feel just the same about it now as i have done all along i have just the same dread lest an iron contract should your tenderness for me and mine for you as it did between our unfortunate parents still what can we do i do love you as you know sue i know it abundantly but i think i would much rather go on living always as lovers as we are living now and only meeting by day it is so much sweeter for the woman at least and when she is sure of the man and we needn t be so particular as we have been about appearances our experiences of matrimony with others have not been encouraging i own said he with some gloom the obscure either owing to our own dissatisfied natures or by our misfortune but we two should be two dissatisfied ones linked together which would be twice as bad as before i think i should begin to be afraid of you the moment you had contracted to cherish me under a government stamp and i was to be loved on the premises by you how horrible and sordid although as you are free i trust you more than any other man in the world no no don t say i should change he yet there was in his own voice also apart from ourselves and our unhappy peculiarities it is foreign to a man s nature to go on loving a person when he is told that he must and shall be that person s lover there would be a much chance of his doing it if he were told not to love if the marriage ceremony consisted in an oath and signed contract between the parties to cease loving from that day forward in consideration of personal possession being given and to avoid each other s society as much as possible in public there would be more loving couples than there are now fancy the secret meetings between the husband and wife the of having seen each other the in at bedroom windows and the hiding in there d be little then yes but admitting this or something like it to be true you are not the only one in the world to see it dear little sue people go on marrying because they can t resist natural forces although many of them may know perfectly well that they are possibly buying a month s pleasure with a life s discomfort no doubt my father and mother and your father and mother saw it if they at all resembled us in habits of observation but then they went and married just the same because they had ordinary passions but you sue are such a creature one who if you ll allow me to say it has so little animal passion in you that you can act upon reason at and elsewhere in the matter when we poor unfortunate wretches of substance can t well she sighed you ve owned that it would probably end in misery for us and i am not so exceptional a woman as you think fe women like marriage y on only they enter into it for the dignity it is assumed to confer and the social advantages it gains them sometimes a dignity and an advantage that i am quite willing to do without fell back upon his old complaint that intimate as they were he had never once had from her an honest candid declaration that she loved or could love him i really fear sometimes that you cannot he said with a approaching anger and you are so i know that women are taught by other women that they must never admit the full truth to a man but the highest form of affection is based on full sincerity on both sides not being men these women don t know that in looking back on those he has had tender relations with a man s heart returns to her who was the soul of truth in her conduct the better class of man even if caught by airy of and is not retained by them a the plays the game of too often in the utter contempt for her that sooner or later her old admirers feel under which they allow her to go to her grave	45
sue who was regarding the distance had acquired a guilty look and she suddenly replied in a tragic voice i don t think i like you to day so well as i did don t you why oh well you are not nice too though i suppose i am so bad and worthless that i deserve the utmost of no you are not bad you are a dear but as slippery as an when i want to get a confession from you the obscure oh yes i am bad and obstinate and all sorts it is no use your pretending i am not people who are good don t want scolding as i do but now that i have nobody but you and nobody to defend me it is very hard that i mustn t have my own way in deciding how live with you and whether i ll be married or no sue my own comrade and sweetheart i don t want to force you either to marry or to do the other thing of course i don t it is too wicked of you to be so now we won t say any more about it and go on just the same as we have done and during the rest of our walk we ll talk of the meadows only and the floods and the prospect of the farmers this coming year after this the subject of marriage was not mentioned by them for several days though living as they were with only a landing between them it was constantly in their minds sue was assisting very materially now he had occupied himself on his own account in working and head stones which he kept in a little yard at the back of his little house where in the intervals of domestic duties she marked out the letters full size for him and them in after he had cut them it was a lower class of than were his former performances as a cathedral and his only were the poor people who lived in his own neighborhood and knew what a cheap man this as he called himself on his front door was to employ for the simple they required for their dead but he seemed more independent than before and it was the only arrangement under which sue who particularly wished to be no burden on him could render any assistance i it n it was an evening at the end of the month and had just returned home from hearing a lecture on ancient history in the public hall not far off when he entered sue who had been keeping in doors during his absence laid out supper for him contrary to custom she did not speak had taken up some illustrated paper which he till raising his eyes he saw that her face was troubled are you depressed sue he said she paused a moment i have a message for you she answered somebody has called yes a woman sue s voice as she spoke and she suddenly sat down from her preparations laid her hands in her lap and looked into the fire i don t know whether i did right or not she continued i said you were not at home and when she said she would wait i said i thought you might not be able to see her why did you say that dear i suppose she wanted a head stone was she in mourning no she wasn t in mourning and she didn t want a head stone and i thought you wouldn t see her sue looked and at him but who was she didn t she say no she wouldn t give her name but i know who she was i think i do it was heaven save us what should come for what made you think it was she oh i can hardly tell but i know it was i feel the obscure perfectly certain it by the light in her eyes as she looked at me she was a coarse woman well i should not have called coarse exactly except in speech though she may be getting so by this time under the duties of the public house she was rather handsome when i knew her handsome but yes so she is i think i heard a quiver in your little mouth well that as she is nothing to me and married to another man why should she come troubling us are you sure she s married have you definite news of it no not definite news but that was why she asked me to release her she and the man both wanted to lead a proper life as i understood oh it was it was cried sue cover ing her eyes with her hand and i am so miserable it seems such an ill omen whatever she may have come for you could not possibly see her could you i don t really think i could it would be so very painful to talk to her now for her as much as for me however she s gone did she say she would come again no but she went away very reluctantly sue whom the least thing upset could not eat any supper and when had finished his he prepared to go to bed he had no sooner out the fire fastened the doors and got to the top of the stairs than there came a knock sue instantly emerged from her room which she had but just entered there she is again sue whispered in appalled accents how do you know she knocked like that last time they listened and the knocking came again no servant was kept in the house and if the summons were to be responded to one of them would have to do it in per at and elsewhere ii son i ll	45
open a window said whoever it is cannot be expected to be let in at this time he accordingly went into his bedroom and lifted the the obscure street of early retiring work people was empty from end to end save of one figure that of a woman walking up and down by the lamp a few yards off who s there he asked is that mr came up from the woman in a voice which was s replied that it was is it she asked sue from the door with lips apart yes dear said what do you want he inquired i beg your pardon for disturbing you said humbly but i called earlier i wanted particularly to see you to night if i could i am in trouble and have nobody to help me in trouble are you yes there was a silence an inconvenient sympathy seemed to be rising in s breast at the appeal but aren t you married he said hesitated no i am not she returned he wouldn t after all and i am in great difficulty i hope to get another situation as soon but it takes time and i really am in great distress because of the sudden responsibility that s been sprung upon me from or i wouldn t trouble you believe me i wouldn t i want to tell you about it sue remained at gaze in painful hearing every word but speaking none you are not really in want of money he asked in a distinctly softened tone have enough to pay for the night s lodging i have obtained but barely enough to take me back again where are you living the obscure in london still she was about to give the address but she said i am afraid somebody may hear so i don t like to call out particulars of myself so loud if you could come down and walk a little way with me towards the prince inn where i am staying to night i would explain all you may as well for old time s sake poor thing i must do her the kindness of hearing what s the matter i suppose said in much perplexity as she s going back to morrow it can t make much difference but you can go and see her to morrow don t go now came in plaintive accents from the doorway oh it is only to you i know it is as she did before don t don t go dear she is such a woman i can see it in her shape and hear it v in her voice but i shall go said don t attempt to detain me sue god knows i love her little enough now but don t want to be cruel to her he turned to the stairs but she s not your wife cried sue and i and you are not either dear yet said oh but are you going to her don t stay at home please please stay at home and not go to her now she s not your wife any more than i well she is rather more than you come to that he said taking his hat i ve wanted you to be and i ve waited with the patience of job and i don t see that i ve got anything by my self denial i shall certainly give her something and hear what it is she is so anxious to tell me no man could do less there was that in his manner which she knew it would be futile to oppose she said no more but turning to her room as meekly as a martyr heard him go down stairs the door and close it behind him with a woman s disregard of her dignity when in the presence of no at and elsewhere body but herself she also trotted down sobbing as she went she listened she knew exactly how far it was to the inn that had named as her lodging it would occupy about seven minutes to get there at an ordinary walking pace seven to come back again if he did not return in fourteen minutes he would have lingered she looked at the clock it was minutes to eleven he might enter the inn with as they would reach it before closing time she might get him to drink with her and heaven only knew what would befall him then in a still suspense she waited on it seemed as if the whole time had nearly elapsed when the door was opened again and appeared sue gave a little cry oh i knew i could trust you how good you are she began i can t find her anywhere in this street and i went out in my slippers only she has walked on thinking i ve been so hard hearted as to refuse her entirely poor woman i ve come back for my boots as it is beginning to rain oh but why should you take such trouble for a woman who has served you so badly said sue in a jealous burst of disappointment but sue she s a woman and i once cared for her and one can t be a brute in such circumstances she isn t your wife any longer exclaimed sue passionately excited you mustn t go out to find her it isn t right you can t join her now she s a stranger to you how can you forget such a thing my dear dear one she seems much the same as ever an careless fellow creature he said continuing to pull on his boots what those legal fellows have been playing at in london makes no difference in my real relations to her if she was my wife while she was away in with another husband she s my wife now the	45
obscure but she wasn t that s just what i hold there s the absurdity well you ll come straight back after a few minutes won t you dear she is too low too coarse for you to talk to long and was always perhaps i am coarse too worse luck i have the of every human infirmity in me i verily believe that was why i saw it was so preposterous of me to think of being a i have cured myself of i think but i never know in what new form a suppressed vice will break out in me i do love you sue though i have danced attendance on you so long for such poor returns all that s best and noblest in me loves you and your freedom from everything that s gross has elevated me and enabled me to do what i should never have dreamed myself capable of or any man a year or two ago it is all very well to preach about self control and the wickedness of a woman but i should just like a few virtuous people who have condemned me in the past about and other things to have been in my position with you through these late weeks they d believe i think that i have exercised some little restraint in always giving in to your wishes living here in one house and not a soul between us yes you have been good to me i know you have my dear protector well appeals to me i must go out and speak to her sue at least i can t say any more oh if you must you must she said bursting out into sobs that seemed to tear her heart i have nobody but you and you are me i didn t know you were like this i can t t bear it i can t if she were yours it would be different or if you were very well then if i must i must since you will have it so i agree i will be only i didn t mean to and i didn t want to marry again either but yes i agree at and elsewhere i agree i ought to have known that you would conquer in the long run living like this she ran across and flung her arms round his neck i am not a cold red creature am i for keeping you at such a distance i am sure you don t think so wait and see i do belong to you don t i i give in and i ll arrange for our marriage to morrow or as soon as ever you wish yes then i ll let her go said he embracing sue softly i do feel that it would be unfair to you to see her and perhaps unfair to her she is not like you my darling and never was it is only bare justice to say that don t cry any more there and there and there he kissed her on one side and on the other and in the middle and the front door the next morning it was wet now dear said at breakfast as this is saturday i mean to call about the at once so as to get the first done to morrow or we shall lose a week will do we shall save a pound or two sue agreed to but her mind for the moment was running on something else a glow had passed away from her and depression sat upon her features i feel i was selfish last night she murmured it was sheer in me or worse to treat as i did i didn t care about her being in trouble and what she wished to tell you perhaps it was really something she was justified in telling you that s some more of my i suppose love has its own dark morality when enters in at least mine has if other people s hasn t i wonder how she got on i hope she reached the inn all right poor woman oh yes she got on all right said placidly i hope she wasn t shut out and that she hadn t to walk the streets in the rain do you mind my putting on my the obscure water proof and going to see if she got in i ve been thinking of her all the morning well is it necessary you haven t the least idea how is able to shift for herself still darling if you want to go and inquire you can there was no limit to the strange and unnecessary which sue would meekly undertake when in a mood and this going to see all sorts of extraordinary persons whose relation to her was precisely of a kind that would have made other people them was her instinct ever so that the request did not surprise him and when you come back he added i ll be ready to go about the you ll come with me sue agreed and went off under cloak and umbrella letting kiss her freely and returning his kisses in a way she had never done before times had decidedly changed the bird is caught at last she said a little sadness showing in her smile no only he assured her she walked along the muddy street till she reached the public house mentioned by which was not so very far off she was informed that had not yet left and in doubt how to announce herself so that her in s affections would recognize her she sent up word that a friend from spring street had called the place of s residence she was asked to step up stairs and on being shown into a room found that it was s bedroom and that the	45
latter had not yet risen she halted on the turn of her toe till cried from the bed come in and shut the door which sue accordingly did lay facing the window and did not at once turn her head and sue was wicked enough despite her to wish for a moment that could behold her now with the daylight full upon her she may have seemed handsome enough in under the lamps but a was apparent this morning and at and elsewhere the sight of her own fresh charms in the looking glass made sue s manner bright till she reflected what a emotion this was in her and hated herself for it i ve just looked in to see if you got back comfortably last night that s all she said gently i was afraid afterwards that you might have met with any oh how stupid this is i thought my visitor was your friend your husband mrs as i suppose you call yourself said flinging her head back upon the pillows with a disappointed toss and ceasing to retain the she had just taken the trouble to produce indeed i don t said sue oh i thought you might have even if he s not yours decency is decency any hour of the twenty four i don t know what you mean said sue stiffly he is mine if you come to that he wasn t yesterday sue colored and said how do you know from your manner when you talked to me at the door well my dear you ve been quick about it and i expect my visit last night helped it on ha ha but i don t want to get him away from you sue looked out at the rain and at the dirty toilet cover and at the detached tail of s hair hanging on the looking glass just as it had done in s time and wished she had not come in the pause there was a knock at the door and the chamber maid brought in a for mrs opened it as she lay and her ruffled look disappeared i am much obliged to you for your anxiety about me she said when the maid had gone but it is not necessary you should feel it my man finds he can t do without me after all and to stand by the promise to marry again over here that he has made me all along see here this is in answer to one from me she held the obscure out the for sue to read but sue did not take it he asks me to come back his little corner public in would go to pieces without me he says but he isn t going to knock me about when he has had a drop any more after we are by english law than before as for you i should to take me before the parson straight off and have done with it if i were in your place i say it as a friend my dear he s waiting to any day returned sue with pride then let him in heaven s name life with a man is more after it and money matters work better and then you see if you have rows and he turns you out of doors you can get the law to protect you which you can t otherwise unless he half runs you through with a knife or cracks your with a and if he away from you i say it friendly as woman to woman for there s never any knowing what a man do you ll have the sticks o furniture and won t be looked upon as a thief i shall marry my man over again now he s willing as there was a little flaw in the first ceremony in my last night which this is an answer to i told him i had almost made it up with and that frightened him i expect perhaps i should quite have done it if it hadn t been for you she said laughing and then how different our histories might have been from to day never such a tender fool as is if a woman seems in trouble and him a bit just as he used to be about birds and thin however as it it is just as well as if i had made it up and i forgive you and as i say i d advise you to get the business done as soon as possible you ll find it an awful bother later on if you don t i have told you he is asking me to marry to make our natural marriage a legal one said sue with yet more dignity it was quite by my wish that he didn t the moment i was free at and elsewhere ah yes you are a too like myself said her visitor with humorous criticism bolted from your first didn t you like me good morning i must go said sue hastily and i too must up and off replied the other springing out of bed so suddenly that the soft parts of her person shook sue jumped aside in lord i am only a woman not a six foot just a moment dear she continued putting her hand on sue s arm i really did want to consult on a little matter of business as i told him i came about that more than anything else would he run up to speak to me at the station as i am going you think not well i ll write to him about it i didn t want to write it but never mind i will i iii when sue reached home was awaiting her at the door to take the step towards their marriage she clasped	45
his arm and they went along silently together as true comrades do he saw that she was and to question her oh i ve been talking to her she said at last i wish i hadn t and yet it is best to be reminded of things i hope she was civil yes i i can t help liking her just a little bit she s not an nature and i am so glad her difficulties have all suddenly ended she explained how had been summoned back and would be enabled to her position i was referring to our old question what has been saying to me has made me feel more than ever how hopelessly vulgar an institution legal marriage is a sort of trap to catch a man i can t bear to think of it i wish i hadn t promised to let you put up the this morning oh don t mind me any time will do for me i thought you might like to get it over quickly now indeed i don t feel anxious now than i did before perhaps with any other man i might be a little anxious but among the very few virtues possessed by your family and mine dear i think i may set so i am not a bit frightened about losing you now i really am yours and you really are mine in fact i am easier in my mind than i was for my conscience is clear at and elsewhere about richard who now has a right to his freedom felt we were deceiving him before sue you seem when you are like this to be one of the women of some grand old civilization whom i used to read about in my by gone wasted classical days rather than a of a mere christian country i almost expect you to say at these times that you have just been talking to some friend whom you met in the about the latest news of or or have been listening to s eloquence or have been watching away at his latest while made complaint that she was tired of they had now the house of the parish clerk sue stood back while her lover went up to the door his hand was raised to knock when she said he looked round wait a minute would you mind he came back to her just let us think she said timidly i had such a horrid dream one night and what did say to you he asked oh she said that when people were tied up you could get the law of a man better if he beat you and how when couples quarrelled do you think that when you must have me with you by law we shall be so happy as we are now the men and women of our family are very generous when everything depends upon their but they always kick against don t you dread the attitude that arises out of legal obligation don t you think it is destructive to a passion whose essence is its upon my word love you are beginning to frighten me too with all this well let s go back and think it over her face brightened yes so we will said she and they turned from the clerk s door sue taking his arm and murmuring as they walked on homeward ax the obscure can you keep the bee from or the ring dove s neck from changing no nor d love they thought it over or postponed thinking certainly they postponed action and seemed to live on in a dreamy paradise at the end of a fortnight or three weeks matters remained un advanced and no were announced to the ears of any congregation whilst they were and thus a letter and a newspaper arrived before breakfast one morning from seeing the handwriting went up to sue s room and told her and as soon as she was dressed she hastened down sue opened the newspaper the letter after glancing at the paper she held across the first page to him with her finger on a paragraph but he was so absorbed in his letter that he did not turn a while look said she he looked and read the paper was one that in south london only and the marked advertisement was simply the announcement of a marriage at st john s church road under the names the united pair being and the inn keeper well it is satisfactory said sue complacently though after this it seems rather low to do likewise and i am glad however she is provided for now in a way i suppose whatever her faults poor thing it is that we are able to think that than to be uneasy about her i ought too to write to richard and ask him how he is getting on perhaps but s attention was still absorbed having merely glanced at the announcement he said in a disturbed voice listen to this letter what shall i say or do j at and elsewhere ton l i won t be so distant as to call you mr i send to day a newspaper from which useful document yon will learn that i was married over again to garden last so that business is settled ri ht and tight at last but what i write about more particular is that private affair i wanted to speak to you on when i came down to i couldn t very well tell it to your lady friend and should much have liked to let you know it by word of mouth as i could have explained better than by letter the fact is that though i have never informed you before there was a boy born of our marriage eight months after i left you when i was at	45
living with my father and mother all that is easily as i had separated from you before i thought such a thing was going to happen and i was over there and our quarrel had been sharp i did not think it convenient to write about the birth i was then looking out for a good situation so my parents took the child and he has been with them ever since that was i did not mention it when i met you in nor at the law proceedings he is now of an intelligent age of course and my mother and father have lately written to say that as they have rather a hard struggle over there and i am settled comfortably here they don t see why they should be with the child any longer his parents being alive i would have him with me here in a moment but he is not old enough to be of any use in the bar nor will be for years and years and naturally might think him in the way they have however packed him off to me in charge of some friends who happened to be coming home and i must ask you to take him when he arrives for i don t know what to do with him he is yours that i solemnly swear if anybody says he isn t call them for my sake whatever i may have done before or afterwards i was honest to you from the time we were married till i went away and i remain yours c it sue s look was one of dismay what will you do dear she asked faintly did not reply and sue watched him anxiously with heavy the obscure v it me hard said he in an under voice it may be true i can t make it out certainly if his age is exactly what it ought to be i cannot think why she didn t tell me when i met her at christ and came on here that evening with her ah i do remember now that she said something about having a thing on her mind that she would like me to know if ever we lived together again the poor child seems to be wanted by nobody sue replied and her eyes filled had by this time come to himself what a view of life he must have mine or not mine he said i must say that if i were better off i should not stop for a moment to think whose he might be i would take him and bring him up the question of what is it after all what does it matter when you come to think of it whether a child is yours by blood or not all the little ones of our time are the children of us of the time and entitled to our general care that excessive regard of parents for their own children and their dislike of other people s is like class feeling patriotism save your own soul and other virtues a mean at bottom sue jumped up and kissed with passionate devotion yes so it is dearest and we ll have him here and if he isn t yours it makes it all the better i do hope he isn t though perhaps i ought not to feel quite that if he isn t i should like so much for us to have him as an adopted child well you must assume about him what is most pleasing to you my curious little comrade he said i feel that anyhow i don t like to leave the unfortunate little fellow to neglect just think of his life in a pot house and all its evil influences with a parent who doesn t want him and has indeed hardly seen him and a step father who doesn t know him let the day perish wherein i was born and the night in which it was at and elsewhere said there is a man child conceived that s what the boy my boy perhaps will find himself saying before long r oh no m as i was the i am really entitled to his i suppose whether or no we must have him i see that i ll do the best i can to be a mother to him and we can afford to keep him somehow til work harder i wonder when he ll arrive in the course of a few weeks i suppose i wish when shall we have courage to marry whenever you have it i think i shall it remains with you entirely dear only say the word and it s done before the boy comes it m a more natural home for him perhaps she murmured thereupon wrote in purely formal terms to request that the boy should be sent on to them as soon as he arrived making no remark whatever on the surprising nature of s information nor a single word of opinion on the boy s nor on whether had he known all this his conduct towards her would have been quite the same in the down train that was timed to reach station about ten o clock the next evening a small pale child s face could be seen in the gloom of a carriage he had large frightened eyes and wore a white over which a key was suspended round his neck by a piece of common string the key attention by its occasional shine in the in the band of his hat his half ticket was stuck his eyes remained mostly fixed on the back of the seat the obscure opposite and never turned to the window even when a station was reached and called on the other seat were two or three passengers one of them a working woman who held a basket	45
on her lap in which was a the woman opened the cover now and then whereupon the would put out its head and indulge in playful at these the fellow passengers laughed except the solitary boy bearing the key and ticket who regarding the with his eyes seemed to say all laughing comes from rightly looked at there is no thing under the sun occasionally at a the guard would look into the and say to the boy all right my man your box is safe in the van the boy would say yes without animation would try to smile and fail he was age as and doing it so badly that his real self showed through a ground swell from ancient years of night seemed now and then to lift the child in this his morning life when his face took a back view over some great atlantic of time and appeared not to care about what it saw when the other travellers closed their eyes which they did one by one even the curling itself up in the basket weary of its too play the boy remained just as before he then seemed to be doubly awake like an and divinity sitting passive and regarding his companions as if he saw their whole rounded lives rather than their immediate figures this was s boy with her usual carelessness she had postponed writing to about him till the eve of his landing when she could absolutely no longer though she had known for weeks of his approaching arrival and had as she truly said visited mainly to reveal the boy s existence and his near home coming to this very day on which she had received her former husband s answer at some time in at and elsewhere the afternoon the child reached the london and the family in whose charge he had come having put him into a cab for and directed the to his mother s house bade him good bye and went their way on his arrival at the three horns had looked him over with an expression that was as good as saying you are very much what i expected you to be had given him a good meal a little money and late as it was getting despatched him to by the next train wishing her husband who was out not to see him the train reached and the boy was deposited on the lonely platform beside his box the took his ticket and with a meditative sense of the of things asked him where he was going by himself at that time of night going to spring street said the little one why that s a long way from here a most out in the country and the folks will be gone to bed i ve got to go there you must have a fly for your box no i must walk oh well you d better leave your box here and send for it there s a goes half way but you ll have to walk the rest i am not afraid why didn t your friends come to meet ee i suppose they didn t know i was coming who is your friends mother didn t wish me to say all i can do then is to take charge of this now walk as fast as you can saying nothing further the boy came out into the street looking round to see that nobody followed or observed him when he had walked some little distance he asked for the street of his destination he was told to go straight on quite into the outskirts of the place the obscure the child fell into a steady mechanical creep which had in it an quality the movement of the wave or of the breeze or of the cloud he followed his directions literally without an inquiring gaze at anything it could have been seen that the boy s ideas of life were different from those of the local boys children begin with detail and learn up to the general they begin with the and gradually comprehend the universal the boy seemed to have begun with the of life and never to have concerned himself with the par to him the houses the the obscure fields beyond were apparently regarded not as brick meadows but as human dwellings in the abstract vegetation and the wide dark world he found the way to the little lane and knocked at the door of s house had just retired to bed and sue was about to enter her chamber adjoining when she heard the knock and came down is this where father lives asked the child who mr that s his name sue ran up to s room and told him and he hurried down as soon as he could though to her impatience he seemed long what is it he so soon she asked as came she the child s features and suddenly went away into the little sitting room adjoining lifted the boy to a level with himself keenly regarded him with gloomy tenderness and telling him he would have been met if they had known of his so soon set him in a chair while he went to look for sue whose was disturbed as he knew he found her in the dark bending over an arm chair he enclosed her with his arm and putting his face by hers whispered what s the matter what says is true true i see you in him at and elsewhere it well that s one thing in my life as it should be at any rate but the other half of him is she i and that s what i can t bear but i ought to i ll try to get used to it yes i ought jealous little sue i withdraw all remarks about your	45
never mind time may right things and sue darling i have an idea we ll and train him with a view to the university i d n t a r my own person perhaps i carry out through they are making fo easier for poor students now you k now oh you a aid she and holding his hand returned to the child with him the boy looked at her as she had looked at him is it you who s my real mother at last he inquired why do i look like your father s wife well yes he seems fond of you and you of him can i call you mother then a yearning look came over the child and he began to cry sue thereupon could not refrain from instantly doing likewise being a harp which the least wind of emotion from another s heart could make to as readily as a radical stir in her own you may call me mother if you wish to my poor dear she said bending her cheek against bis to hide her tears what s this round your neck asked with affected calmness the key of my box that s at the station they about and got him some supper and made him up a temporary bed where he soon fell asleep both went and looked at him as he lay he called you mother two or three times be ore he dropped off murmured wasn t it odd that he should have wanted to well it was significant said sue there s more v the obscure for us to think about in that one little hungry heart than in all the stars of the sky i suppose dear we must pluck up ge and get that ceremony over it is no use struggling against the current and i feel myself getting with my kind oh you ll love me dearly won t you afterwards i do want to be kind to this child and to be a mother to him and our adding the legal form to our marriage might make it easier for me iv their next and second attempt was more deliberately made though it was begun on the morning following the singular child s arrival at their home him they found to be in the habit of sitting silent his quaint and weird face set and his eyes resting on things they did not see in the substantial world his face is like the tragic mask of said sue what is your name dear did you tell us tim is what they always called me it is a because i look so aged they say and you talk so too said sue tenderly it is strange that these old boys almost always come from new countries but what were you i never was why was that because if i died in save the expense of a christian funeral oh your name is not then said his father with some disappointment the boy shook his head never on it of course not said sue quickly since she was you all the time we ll have him said and privately to sue the day we are married yet the advent of the child disturbed him their position lent them shyness and having an im v that a marriage at a s office was more private than an one they the obscure decided to avoid a church this time both sue and together went to the office of the district to give notice they had become such companions that they could hardly do anything of importance except in each other s company signed the form of notice sue looking over his shoulder and watching his hand as it traced the words as she read the four square undertaking never before seen by her into which her own and s names were inserted and by which that very essence their love for each other was supposed to be made permanent her face seemed to grow painfully apprehensive names and of the parties they were to be parties now not lovers she thought condition a horrid idea rank or occupation age dwelling at length of residence church or building in which the marriage is to be district and county in which the parties dwell it spoils the sentiment doesn t it she said on their way home it seems making a more sordid business of it even than the contract in a there is a little poetry in a church but we ll try to get through with it dearest now we will for what man is he that hath a wife and hath not taken her let him go and return unto his house lest he die in the battle and another man take her so said the law how you know the you really ought to have been a parson i can only quote profane writers during the interval before the issuing of the sue in her housekeeping errands sometimes walked past the office and glancing in saw to the wall the notice of the to their union she could not bear its aspect coming after her previous experience of matrimony all the romance of their attachment seemed to be starved away by placing her present at and elsewhere case in the same she was usually leading little father time by the hand and fancied that people thought him hers and regarded the intended ceremony as the up of an old error meanwhile decided to link his present with his past in some slight degree by inviting to the wedding the only person remaining on earth who was associated with his early life at the aged widow mrs who had been his great aunt s friend and nurse in her last illness he hardly expected that she would come but she did bringing singular presents in the form of	45

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