VishaalY/house-md-transcripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

name stringlengths 1 98 ⌀	line stringlengths 1 1.11k ⌀
Andie	I've nEver kissed a boy.
Chase	There's time yet for that.
Andie	There was a boy last summer; I was at one of those cancer camps.
Chase	Uh huh.
Andie	I just nEver had the guts to ask him. You know there's a good chance I'm not gonna walk out of this hospital. Even if I do I'm nine. There's not a lot of kissing going on in the third grade.
Chase	You will walk out of here, alright, and you will kiss a boy. There you go. A smile.
Andie	Will you kiss me?
Chase	No.
Andie	No one will Ever know.
Chase	I'm! I'm! I'm sorry I can't.
Andie	I won't tell anyone.
Chase	Listen, you're nine years old I'm thirty.
Andie	I just want to know what it feels like. Once.
Chase	This isn't your last chance for that.
Andie	What if it is? Please kiss me.
House	Bagels.
Foreman	You didn't sleep in.
House	Didn't sleep. Didn't breathe. I'm dying.
Chase	Pulmonary angiogram of Andie's lungs was clean. Arterial blood gasses and a CT scan were also normal. Her heart and lungs are fine.
House	Which gives us no explanation for the diminished sat percentage.
Foreman	Yeah oddly enough sometimes normal is normal.
House	Sometime we can't see why normal isn't normal. Get her symptoms on the board.
Cameron	Whoa; you're letting me touch the markers?
House	It's written down in my advanced health care directive, should I be incapacitated in any way you run the board, then Foreman. Chase you're just not ready yet. What else?
Foreman	Guys, I know we ruled out infection but if we forget the labs for a minute, there is one infection we didn't test for because of her age. Neurosyphilis.
Chase	There's no way.
Foreman	If the infection dipped into her cerebral cortex all peripheral functions could be compromised.
Chase	No she hasn't had sex, she's nine!
Foreman	Maybe it wasn't her idea. I mean she's been around a lot of adults; all the hospital visits, the counselors at the cancer camps.
Cameron	You think she's been molested.
Chase	She's hiding it pretty well if there's any of that going on.
House	Yeah, all girls who've been molested want to talk about it. Break out the rape kit.
Chase	She hasn't had sex.
House	Why are you so sure?
Chase	She told me she'd nEver kissed a boy.
House	You read her diary too?
Chase	She asked me to kiss her.
House	I rest my case. A regular nine year old girl does not have sex on the brain, not when a doctor is threading a catheter through her vein.
Chase	But she's not a regular nine year old. She's got terminal cancer.
House	Cancer doesn't make you special. Molestation on the other hand!
Chase	She wanted one kiss before she dies. If she's nEver kissed a boy it's a fair bet she's nEver had sex.
House	Tell that to all the hookers who won't kiss me on the mouth. Hey, here's a theory, she has been molested, seeks refuge in roMantic fantasies with older men with great hair. And I think you left out the punch line, victims of molestation learn to work the angles. Manipulate people. You did it didn't you. You kissed her.
Chase	It wasn't sick. [Foreman and Cameron freak out quietly] It was one kiss for a dying girl. One small! one small kiss before she dies. Thank you. Thanks.
House	This is exactly why you can't touch my markers. Go see if she's had sex.
Cameron	Okay.
Andie	No one's Ever touched me.
Cameron	We just need to be sure.
Andie	I like your hair. I used to have really curly hair. I always wanted it to be like yours is.
Cameron	Thank you. Alright, that's it, you're fine.
Wilson	With a Patient.
House	Is she dying?
Wilson	No.
House	Then she can wait.
Wilson	Would you excuse me, just 2 minutes.
House	If only she'd been molested then we'd have something to go on. [He tries to open a jar of mentholatum] No forced entry.
Wilson	One hallucination; maybe it was just bad pork, maybe there's nothing!
House	She's not fine. Her sat percentage dropped another point.
Wilson	Which could suggest a tumor in her lung.
House	Lung wouldn't explain the hallucination. CT scan showed both lungs were clean, which means there's a tumor in her heart.
Wilson	Not a chance. Give me that.
House	I loosened it.
Wilson	I opened it. We've got an MRI and an echo of her heart, there's nothing there.
House	Give me one other explanation for low oxygen saturation.
Wilson	I can't. There's only one condition that simultaneously affects the heart and the brain but she!
House	Perfect let's go with that.
Wilson	Tuberous Sclerosis in a kid that also has Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Two different unrelated cancers at the same time is a statistical no no.
House	What's the rate of cancer in the general population? 1 in 10,000?
Wilson	Don't, don't start with the numbers.
House	The way I figure it 1 in 10,000 of them should have another cancer. Little girl won the lottery twice. It happens.
Wilson	So you're gonna cut her open?
House	Exploratory surgery, gotta find this thing.
Wilson	You're just going to grope around inside an immuno-compromised nine year old? She could die on the table.
House	I know it's somewhere near the heart.
Wilson	House, you've gotta do better than that.
Foreman	Why are we here?
House	Better acoustics. Now listen to this.
Chase	That's a mitral heart valve.
House	No, get the wax out of your ears. This is the Patient's aortic valve. I downloaded the audio of her echocardiogram.
Foreman	What are we trying to hear?
House	Tumor.
Chase	They tend to keep quiet on account of them not having any mouths.
House	But we could hear an abnormality in the sound of the valve, which would indiCate the presence of something; a tumor for example. If we can tell the surgeon where to look this is no longer exploratory surgery it's a precision strike.
Foreman	Her aortic valve sounds normal.
House	Too bad. Now listen to the dulcet tones of Andie's tricuspid valve.
Cameron	Normal.
House	And this is her mitral valve.
Chase	I don't hear anything weird.
House	You guys make me sad. Listen again.
Chase	She's had one hallucination. Why are we operating on her? Why are we risking her life?
House	Because Wilson thinks it'll be nice to give the girl a year to say good bye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something. Now shut up and listen. Tricuspid. Mitral. Again.
Cameron	Wait. There. There's an extra flap.
House	I'm gonna ask the surgeon to look at the mitral valve first. Chase, I want you there. I don't like reading surgeons reports, they're boring.
Chase	I'm not really sure I should be spending more time!
House	She'll be unconscious you'll be safe.
Mom	I'll be there when you wake up.
Andie	I'm gonna be fine mom.
Wilson	Brave kid, she Even gave her mom a pep talk.
House	Sure. Brave. She's a wonder.
Wilson	What's your pRoblem?
House	These cancer kids; you can't put them all on a pedestal. It's basic statistics some of them have to be whiny little fraidy cats.

Andie

I've nEver kissed a boy.

Chase

There's time yet for that.

Andie

There was a boy last summer; I was at one of those cancer camps.

Chase

Uh huh.

Andie

I just nEver had the guts to ask him. You know there's a good chance I'm not gonna walk out of this hospital. Even if I do I'm nine. There's not a lot of kissing going on in the third grade.

Chase

You will walk out of here, alright, and you will kiss a boy. There you go. A smile.

Andie

Will you kiss me?

Chase

No.

Andie

No one will Ever know.

Chase

I'm! I'm! I'm sorry I can't.

Andie

I won't tell anyone.

Chase

Listen, you're nine years old I'm thirty.

Andie

I just want to know what it feels like. Once.

Chase

This isn't your last chance for that.

Andie

What if it is? Please kiss me.

House

Bagels.

Foreman

You didn't sleep in.

House

Didn't sleep. Didn't breathe. I'm dying.

Chase

Pulmonary angiogram of Andie's lungs was clean. Arterial blood gasses and a CT scan were also normal. Her heart and lungs are fine.

House

Which gives us no explanation for the diminished sat percentage.

Foreman

Yeah oddly enough sometimes normal is normal.

House

Sometime we can't see why normal isn't normal. Get her symptoms on the board.

Cameron

Whoa; you're letting me touch the markers?

House

It's written down in my advanced health care directive, should I be incapacitated in any way you run the board, then Foreman. Chase you're just not ready yet. What else?

Foreman

Guys, I know we ruled out infection but if we forget the labs for a minute, there is one infection we didn't test for because of her age. Neurosyphilis.

Chase

There's no way.

Foreman

If the infection dipped into her cerebral cortex all peripheral functions could be compromised.

Chase

No she hasn't had sex, she's nine!

Foreman

Maybe it wasn't her idea. I mean she's been around a lot of adults; all the hospital visits, the counselors at the cancer camps.

Cameron

You think she's been molested.

Chase

She's hiding it pretty well if there's any of that going on.

House

Yeah, all girls who've been molested want to talk about it. Break out the rape kit.

Chase

She hasn't had sex.

House

Why are you so sure?

Chase

She told me she'd nEver kissed a boy.

House

You read her diary too?

Chase

She asked me to kiss her.

House

I rest my case. A regular nine year old girl does not have sex on the brain, not when a doctor is threading a catheter through her vein.

Chase

But she's not a regular nine year old. She's got terminal cancer.

House

Cancer doesn't make you special. Molestation on the other hand!

Chase

She wanted one kiss before she dies. If she's nEver kissed a boy it's a fair bet she's nEver had sex.

House

Tell that to all the hookers who won't kiss me on the mouth. Hey, here's a theory, she has been molested, seeks refuge in roMantic fantasies with older men with great hair. And I think you left out the punch line, victims of molestation learn to work the angles. Manipulate people. You did it didn't you. You kissed her.

Chase

It wasn't sick. [Foreman and Cameron freak out quietly] It was one kiss for a dying girl. One small! one small kiss before she dies. Thank you. Thanks.

House

This is exactly why you can't touch my markers. Go see if she's had sex.

Cameron

Okay.

Andie

No one's Ever touched me.

Cameron

We just need to be sure.

Andie

I like your hair. I used to have really curly hair. I always wanted it to be like yours is.

Cameron

Thank you. Alright, that's it, you're fine.

Wilson

With a Patient.

House

Is she dying?

Wilson

No.

House

Then she can wait.

Wilson

Would you excuse me, just 2 minutes.

House

If only she'd been molested then we'd have something to go on. [He tries to open a jar of mentholatum] No forced entry.

Wilson

One hallucination; maybe it was just bad pork, maybe there's nothing!

House

She's not fine. Her sat percentage dropped another point.

Wilson

Which could suggest a tumor in her lung.

House

Lung wouldn't explain the hallucination. CT scan showed both lungs were clean, which means there's a tumor in her heart.

Wilson

Not a chance. Give me that.

House

I loosened it.

Wilson

I opened it. We've got an MRI and an echo of her heart, there's nothing there.

House

Give me one other explanation for low oxygen saturation.

Wilson

I can't. There's only one condition that simultaneously affects the heart and the brain but she!

House

Perfect let's go with that.

Wilson

Tuberous Sclerosis in a kid that also has Alveolar Rhabdomyosarcoma. Two different unrelated cancers at the same time is a statistical no no.

House

What's the rate of cancer in the general population? 1 in 10,000?

Wilson

Don't, don't start with the numbers.

House

The way I figure it 1 in 10,000 of them should have another cancer. Little girl won the lottery twice. It happens.

Wilson

So you're gonna cut her open?

House

Exploratory surgery, gotta find this thing.

Wilson

You're just going to grope around inside an immuno-compromised nine year old? She could die on the table.

House

I know it's somewhere near the heart.

Wilson

House, you've gotta do better than that.

Foreman

Why are we here?

House

Better acoustics. Now listen to this.

Chase

That's a mitral heart valve.

House

No, get the wax out of your ears. This is the Patient's aortic valve. I downloaded the audio of her echocardiogram.

Foreman

What are we trying to hear?

House

Tumor.

Chase

They tend to keep quiet on account of them not having any mouths.

House

But we could hear an abnormality in the sound of the valve, which would indiCate the presence of something; a tumor for example. If we can tell the surgeon where to look this is no longer exploratory surgery it's a precision strike.

Foreman

Her aortic valve sounds normal.

House

Too bad. Now listen to the dulcet tones of Andie's tricuspid valve.

Cameron

Normal.

House

And this is her mitral valve.

Chase

I don't hear anything weird.

House

You guys make me sad. Listen again.

Chase

She's had one hallucination. Why are we operating on her? Why are we risking her life?

House

Because Wilson thinks it'll be nice to give the girl a year to say good bye to her mommy. I guess maybe she stutters or something. Now shut up and listen. Tricuspid. Mitral. Again.

Cameron

Wait. There. There's an extra flap.

House

I'm gonna ask the surgeon to look at the mitral valve first. Chase, I want you there. I don't like reading surgeons reports, they're boring.

Chase

I'm not really sure I should be spending more time!

House

She'll be unconscious you'll be safe.

Mom

I'll be there when you wake up.

Andie

I'm gonna be fine mom.

Wilson

Brave kid, she Even gave her mom a pep talk.

House

Sure. Brave. She's a wonder.

Wilson

What's your pRoblem?

House

These cancer kids; you can't put them all on a pedestal. It's basic statistics some of them have to be whiny little fraidy cats.