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ifyoueat - - - - - - - - - you'll die. rich people need - - - - -, poor people have - - - - - - - - - - -. put one word that fits in all those 3 blanks.
word is nothing
imagine you are locked in a car, all the windows are up and locked, they are barred on the outside, you have no way to get out and the car is about to blow up in 2 minutes, how do you get out quickly and safe?
stop imagining
if you are running in a race and you over take 2nd what place will you be in
2nd
there is a three digit number the second digit is four times as big as the third digit, while the first digit is three less than the second digit what is the number?
141
I can play music but not an instrument, i have no voice but i am well heard what am i?
stereo
what weighs more a pound of lead or a pound of feathers?
they both weigh one pound
a man leaves home for work makes three left turns and then returns home to see another man wearing masks. what does the first man do for a living?
he is a baseball player
what tree do future tellers look at?
palm tree
if you are n. i. t. you are me.
furniture
if a scientist is going to invent a creature so evil cruel and unusual what did it create?
human
this lady was a cheerleader and a basketball player. oneday she had a cheerleading competition and a basketball game on the same day. so she went to the cheer leading competition uphill as the basketball game at the same time. how was she there playing at the basketball game and cheering at the cheerleading competition at the same time?
she was a twin
there is one that has a head without an eye, and there's one that has an eye without a head. you may find the answer if you try; and when all is said, half the answer hangs upon a thread.
pin and needle
a man and his son were in a traffic accident. two ambulances come and carry them to different hospitals. the son needs emergency surgery, but upon entering the room the doctor says I can not operate on him, he is my son. how is this possible? ( yes, his real dad is being cared for at another hospital. )
docter is his mother
what's dark, different lengths and enjoyable?
chocolate
a man leaves home makes three left turns and on his way home he is stopped by the man in the mask. who is the man in the mask?
umpire at a baseball game
I live in a hot, dry, rock islands of indonesia. i eat carrion and live snakes, deer, goats and birds. i am 3m long and weighs up to 136kg. what am i?
komodo dragon
you can never say no to this question, but its hard for you to see, it's easy to answer and with this you became to be. what is the question?
were you born
what animal drops from the clouds
raindeer
both boats with holes and dirty dishes have this in common
sink
if there's brownie mix on first base, pudding on second base, and cookie dough on third base, then who is going to hit the ball?
cake batter
there were 2 men sharing a jail cell. one man asked the other, " what are you in for? " he said, " I'm in for something I didn't do! " what didn't he do?
he didnt run fast enough
I'm tall and twisted; narrow and fast; i'm there for a moment, but my devastation lasts. what am i?
tornado
bottimetle what common saying is this?
time in a bottle
it describes an era in history during which lights was hard to come by
darkages
I am a band that does not perform, sing, or act what am i?
rubberband
to open the door to be let in. you need this good breathing apparatus.
respirator
when I am backwards I am one hundredth of me.
number 100
what did one math book say together?
i have so many problems
you are in a clothes store with no doors you have a bag. how do you get out?
you dont
how do you wake up dead?
you cant
what pulls you down and never lets go?
gravity
I come in square package, but i'am round. i contain lots of information for your computer. handle me carefully. what am i?
compact disc
what happens when you step on a selfish cat?
it meows get it meows
why did the coffee file a police report?
it was mugged
a man wakes up in the middle of the night. he knows that he has a razor, a watch and a glass of water. how can he pick up the glass of water without touching the razor or watch?
man turns on light
what do you call a funny book about eggs?
yolk book
if your inside your house, and all your walls face south, where is your house located?
north pole
ok, pay close attention. there is one room. no doors. or windows. there is a baby. with 3 men. who's bastard gets sacked so the baby can escape before the stands of time?
clark stevnson
a man walks into me and says everything I say is a lie is he telling the truth
hes lying
eat us and we will give you strength, eat us and you we will makeyousuffocate, we come in many shapes and sizes, we come in one shape and size, use as a tool for your disposal, if we are lost and one is left, with little luck only one can reunite us all. who are we?
we are chips
what goes over the water and under the water, never touches the water?
egg inside a duck
if a dog is on a 20 foot leash. how can it reach a bone that is 5 feet away?
leash isnt attached to anything
what did the baby corn say to its mother?
wheres pop corn
what is in the bathroom sometimes big sometimes small water shoots around in it
toilet
I smell like blue paint, pores like green paint, and i look like a red truck what am i?
redpaint
what doesnt live but is not dead!? h hint - it coooomes from you!
poo
you was going the wrong way down a one way street, and the police saw you and didn't pull you over. why didn't the police stop you?
because you was walking
a sphere has three, a circle has two, and a point has zero what?
dimensions
it lives with electricity, reveals info, and travels around the world faster than the speed of sound. what is it?
internet
I have an eye but cannot see. i am stronger and faster then any man alive but have no limbs. what am i?
im a hurricane
what do you put in a barrel to make it less than it was?
put a hole in it
I'm 90 years old but will don't know who i am i have a rich history with 5 children who look down on me always cultured but recently refined, i am backwards and forward thinker at the same time i tech virtue but there is no " r's " in my name i am _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
game
dad and the son were in separate cars and then crashed they were both sent to different hospitals and when they were going to operate the sun the doctor said " I cant operate this guy he's my son. what happened?
mom was doctor
the nine of us go forth not back, to protect our king from the foes attack. what could we possibly be?
pawns in a chess game
hide me from your parents if you have done bad academically this year. what am i?
report card
one night, a witch, a king and a queen went on a three hour boat ride. after three hours past, a witch, a king and a queen got off the boat. who is left?
one night knight p
what goes around the world and stays in a corner?
mail a stamp
which is monsters favourite game
hide seak
I have wings, lay eggs, and a bird but cannot fly. what am i?
ostritch
it can be done to buttons and shopping carts what is it?
push
why did pikachu put its eyes in the water?
its eyes were burning
what goes after the cat where ever it goes?
it tail
knock knock. who's there? ben. ben who?
ben over kiss me
I am a toy can a be any colour. i go up and down every one stand on me and bounce
pogo stick
what kind of running means walking?
running out of gas
if you have me you want to share me, if you share me you won't have me. what am i?
seceret
teddy destroyed many yards fences and houses but did not get in trouble. how?
teddy is a hurricane
a guy sold a pen to a customer. the seller said that it could write " underwater ". but then the guy came back and complained that it couldnt. yet the seller was able to write " underwater " how did he?
he wrote the word underwater
a runner ran a distance and turned left. he ran the same distance and made another left. he ran the same distance again and made a left. when he came home there were two masked men. who were the masked men?
cater and umpire
the answer i give is yes, but what i mean is no. what was the question?
do you mind
a 16 - year - old boy was driving a moped down a one - way street in the wrong direction. a policeman stopped him and gave him a ticket. the policeman paid the ticket himself. what is a logical explanation for this?
boy was policemans son
rail road crossing, watch out for the cars, can you spell that without any " r's "?
yes that
what gets smaller as it gets fuller?
hole
on which side of a church is the graveyard always situated?
on the outside of course
a black dog is sleeping in the middle of a black road that has no streetlights and there is no moon. a car coming down the road with its lights off streets around the dog. how did the driver know the dog was there?
it was daytime
I can see but have no eyes, i wear a robe, some fear me, others dont, i am old and boney, i have no skin. what am i?
grim reaper
what is the air around gettysburg called?
spagettysburg
something fun on its bum what is it
chocolate
I hold up the sky i hold many pounds just so you know i can never fall on the * ground * i am made of the world without me you'll die the ones who survive are the ones that can fly
ground
what is the difference between a shiny new penny, and an old dirty quarter?
24 cents
never trust this fellow's grin his teeth are sharp and cause his blood's as cold as icicles and he'll show no remorse! what is he?
crocodile
what do you get when you combine roller skates and a rocking chair.
rock n roll
a lady and a man have kids on the same day of the same year and they are not twins how can that be.
they were triplets
a close relative of ketchup that people often spread on their dog
mustard
a bird that is too large to fly
bigbird
a car's odometer shows 72927 miles, a palindromic number. what are the minimum miles you would need to travel to form another? ( a palindrome can be read both forwards and backwards, like " kayak " )
110 miles 73037
the dog climbs a wall
becaese hes dreaming
what is at the end of nothing the end of thing but not in great
ing
what's the world's saddest animal?
cryote
a hell - full, a hole - full, you cannot catch a bowl - full
mist or fog
transportation of choice for princesses to attend balls
carriage
what is attached to the mind yet pierces the skull, some are born with them but do not stand tall.
horns on an animal
what is 5 to 7 inches tall and stands up on its own?
greeting card
what has eyes but can't see?
patato
why didn't the man take a bath?
because he had no soap
there is a bus full of people travelling over san franchise and no one gets off the bus throughout the journey. but when it gets to the other side there is not a single person left. how is this possible?
they are all married
if you do this once it is good, but if you do it twice it is a bad thing?
marriage or voting
people like this usually live in rural areas, unless they are lucky enough to strike oil and move to severely hills
hillbilly
there is a man lying dead in his office. he is all alone and the doors and windows are locked from the inside. there are no marks on him. there is no blood. there is a sealed envelope on his desk. how did he die?
envelope was poisoned
what can be as big as an elephant, but doesn't weigh anything?
shadow of elephant