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Jove bless thee, Master Parson.
CLOWN.
Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that
never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of King
Gorboduc, 'That that is, is'; so I, being master parson, am
master parson: for what is that but that? and is but is?
SIR TOBY.
To him, Sir Topas.
CLOWN.
What, hoa, I say,--Peace in this prison!
SIR TOBY.
The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.
MALVOLIO.
[In an inner chamber.] Who calls there?
CLOWN.
Sir Topas the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the
lunatic.
MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.
CLOWN.
Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou
nothing but of ladies?
SIR TOBY.
Well said, master parson.
MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do
not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.
CLOWN.
Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest
terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil
himself with courtesy. Say'st thou that house is dark?
MALVOLIO.
As hell, Sir Topas.
CLOWN.
Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the
clear storeys toward the south-north are as lustrous as ebony;
and yet complainest thou of obstruction?
MALVOLIO.
I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you this house is dark.
CLOWN.
Madman, thou errest. I say there is no darkness but
ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in
their fog.
MALVOLIO.
I say this house is as dark as ignorance, though
ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say there was never man
thus abused. I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it
in any constant question.
CLOWN.
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fowl?
MALVOLIO.
That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.
CLOWN.
What thinkest thou of his opinion?
MALVOLIO.
I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.
CLOWN.
Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt
hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits; and
fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy
grandam. Fare thee well.
MALVOLIO.
Sir Topas, Sir Topas!
SIR TOBY.
My most exquisite Sir Topas!
CLOWN.
Nay, I am for all waters.
MARIA.
Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown: he
sees thee not.
SIR TOBY.
To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou
findest him; I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may
be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far