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1189 | 0en
| On our way back to Alex around 1 in the morning, as we were pulling out of Dibgluf to get onto the freeway, some cops pulled our minibus over. | On our way back to Alex around one in the morning, as we were pulling out of Dibgluf to get onto the freeway, some cops pulled our minibus over. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
119 | 0en
| There were mixed kids in South Africa nine months after the first Dutch boats hit the beach in Table Bay. Just like in America, the colonists here had their way with the native women, as colonists so often do. Unlike in America, where anyone with one drop of black blood automatically became black, in South Africa, mixed people came to be classified as their own separate group. Neither black, nor white, but what we call colored. Colored people, black people, white people, | There were mixed kids in South Africa nine months after the first Dutch boats hit the beach in Table Bay. Just like in America, the colonists here had their way with the native women, as colonists so often do. Unlike in America, where anyone with one drop of black blood automatically became black, in South Africa, mixed people came to be classified as their own separate group. Neither black, nor white, but what we call colored. Colored people, black people, white people,. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1190 | 0en
| They made everyone get out and they searched it. We were standing outside, lined up alongside the car. When one of the cops came back, we found a gun, he said. Whose gun is it? We all shrugged. We don't know, we said. Nope, somebody knows. It's somebody's gun. Officer, we really don't know, Bongani said. He slapped Bongani hard across the face. You're bullshitting me. | They made everyone get out and they searched it. We were standing outside, lined up alongside the car. When one of the cops came back, we found a gun, he said. Whose gun is it? We all shrugged. We don't know, we said. Nope, somebody knows. It's somebody's gun. Officer, we really don't know, Bongani said. He slapped Bongani hard across the face. You're bullshitting me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1191 | 0en
| Then he went down the line, slapping each of us across the face, berating us about the gun. We couldn't do anything but stand there and take it. You guys are trash, the cop said. Where are you from? Alex. Oh, okay, I see. Dogs from Alex. You come here and you rob people and you rape women and you hijack cars, bunch of fucking hoodlumps. No, we're dancers. | Then he went down the line, slapping each of us across the face, berating us about the gun. We couldn't do anything but stand there and take it. You guys are trash, the cop said. Where are you from? Alex. Oh, okay, I see. Dogs from Alex. You come here and you rob people and you rape women and you hijack cars, bunch of fucking hoodlumps. No, we're dancers. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1193 | 0en
| Can't we do something? You asked the officer. What do you want me to do? We're really sorry officer. What can we do? You tell me. Then you're supposed to make up a story whereby you indicate to the cop how much money you have on you, which we couldn't do because we didn't have any money. So he took us to jail. It was a public bus. It could have been anyone's gun. But the guys from Alex were the only ones who got arrested. | Can't we do something? You asked the officer. What do you want me to do? We're really sorry officer. What can we do? You tell me. Then you're supposed to make up a story whereby you indicate to the cop how much money you have on you, which we couldn't do because we didn't have any money. So he took us to jail. It was a public bus. It could have been anyone's gun. But the guys from Alex were the only ones who got arrested. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1194 | 0en
| What are you doing with these crooks? I didn't know what to say. | What are you doing with these crooks? I didn't know what to say. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1195 | 0en
| He glared at me hard. Listen here, rich boy. You think it's fun running around with these guys. This isn't play-play anymore. Just tell me the truth about your friends and the gun and I'll let you go. | He glared at me hard. Listen here, rich boy. You think it's fun running around with these guys. This isn't play play anymore. Just tell me the truth about your friends and the gun and I'll let you go. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1196 | 0en
| I told him no, and he threw me back in the cell. | I told him no, and he threw me back in the cell. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1198 | 0en
| And the next day I called a friend who said he could borrow the money from his dad to get us out. Later that day, the dad came down and paid the money. The cops kept calling it bail, but it was a bribe. We were never formally arrested or processed. There was no paperwork. | And the next day I called a friend who said he could borrow the money from his dad to get us out. Later that day, the dad came down and paid the money. The cops kept calling it bail, but it was a bribe. We were never formally arrested or processed. There was no paperwork. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1199 | 0en
| We got out and everything was fine, but it rattled us. Every day we were out in the streets, hustling, trying to act as if we were in some way down with the gangs. But the truth was, we were always more cheese than hood. We had created this idea of ourselves as a defense mechanism to survive in the world we were living in. Bongani and the other East Bank guys, because of where they were from, what they looked like, they just had very little hope. | We got out and everything was fine, but it rattled us. Every day we were out in the streets, hustling, trying to act as if we were in some way down with the gangs. But the truth was, we were always more cheese than hood. We had created this idea of ourselves as a defense mechanism to survive in the world we were living in. Bongani and the other East Bank guys, because of where they were from, what they looked like, they just had very little hope. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
12.1 | 0en
| The Zulu man is known as the warrior. | The Zulu man is known as the warrior. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
12.2 | 0en
| He's proud. | He's proud. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
12.4 | 0en
| When the colonial armies invaded, the Zulu charged into battle with nothing but spears and shields against men with guns. | When the colonial armies invaded, the Zulu charged into battle with nothing but spears and shields against men with guns. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
12.5 | 0en
| The Zulu were slaughtered by the thousands, but they never stopped fighting. | The Zulu were slaughtered by the thousands, but they never stopped fighting. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
120 | 0en
| Indian areas were segregated from colored areas, which were segregated from black areas. All of them segregated from white areas, and separated from one another by buffer zones of empty land. | Indian areas were segregated from colored areas, which were segregated from black areas. All of them segregated from white areas, and separated from one another by buffer zones of empty land. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1200 | 0en
| Once, when I was 10 years old, visiting my dad in Yovil, I needed batteries for one of my toys. My mom had refused to buy me new batteries because, of course, she thought it was a waste of money. So I snuck out to the shops and shoplifted a pack. A security guard busted me on the way out, pulled me into his office and called my mom. We've caught your son shoplifting batteries, he said. You need to come and fetch him. No, she said. Take him to jail. | Once, when I was ten years old, visiting my dad in Yovil, I needed batteries for one of my toys. My mom had refused to buy me new batteries because, of course, she thought it was a waste of money. So I snuck out to the shops and shoplifted a pack. A security guard busted me on the way out, pulled me into his office and called my mom. We've caught your son shoplifting batteries, he said. You need to come and fetch him. No, she said. Take him to jail. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1202 | 0en
| 17. The world doesn't love you. | seventeen . The world doesn't love you. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1203 | 0en
| My mom never gave me an inch. Any time I got in trouble, it was tough love, lectures, punishment, and hideings. Every time, for every infraction. You get that with a lot of black parents. They're trying to discipline you before the system does. | My mom never gave me an inch. Any time I got in trouble, it was tough love, lectures, punishment, and hideings. Every time, for every infraction. You get that with a lot of black parents. They're trying to discipline you before the system does. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1204 | 0en
| I need to do this to you before the police do it to you. Because that's all black parents are thinking from the day you're old enough to walk out into the street where the law is waiting. | I need to do this to you before the police do it to you. Because that's all black parents are thinking from the day you're old enough to walk out into the street where the law is waiting. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.01 | 0en
| In Alex, getting arrested was a fact of life. | In Alex, getting arrested was a fact of life. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.03 | 0en
| Everyone knew what that meant. Where's Bongani? Risclap. Oh shit, when? Friday night. Damn. | Everyone knew what that meant. Where's Bongani? Risclap. Oh shit, when? Friday night. Damn. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.04 | 0en
| My mom hated the hood. | My mom hated the hood. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.05 | 0en
| She didn't like my friends there. If I brought them back to the house, she didn't even want them coming inside. | She didn't like my friends there. If I brought them back to the house, she didn't even want them coming inside. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.06 | 0en
| I don't like those boys, she'd say. | I don't like those boys, she'd say. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.08 | 0en
| You and those boys get into so much shit, she'd say. | You and those boys get into so much shit, she'd say. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205.09 | 0en
| You must be careful who you surround yourself with, because where you are can determine who you are. | You must be careful who you surround yourself with, because where you are can determine who you are. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1205 | 0en
| In Alex, getting arrested was a fact of life. It was so common that out on the corner we had a sign for it, a shorthand. Clapping your wrists together like you were being put in handcuffs. Everyone knew what that meant. Where's Bongani? Wrist clap. Oh shit, when? Friday night. Damn. My mom hated the hood. She didn't like my friends there. If I brought them back to the house, she didn't even want them coming inside. I don't like those boys, she'd say. She didn't hate them personally. | In Alex, getting arrested was a fact of life. It was so common that out on the corner we had a sign for it, a shorthand. Clapping your wrists together like you were being put in handcuffs. Everyone knew what that meant. Where's Bongani? Wrist clap. Oh shit, when? Friday night. Damn. My mom hated the hood. She didn't like my friends there. If I brought them back to the house, she didn't even want them coming inside. I don't like those boys, she'd say. She didn't hate them personally. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1206 | 0en
| She said the thing she hated most about the hood was that it didn't pressure me to become better. She wanted me to hang out with my cousin at his university. | She said the thing she hated most about the hood was that it didn't pressure me to become better. She wanted me to hang out with my cousin at his university. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1208 | 0en
| I'd been stealing Abel's junkers to get around since I was 14. I would say I was test-driving them to make sure they'd been repaired correctly. Abel didn't think that was funny. I'd been caught many times, caught and subjected to my mother's wrath. But that had never stopped me from doing anything. | I'd been stealing Abel's junkers to get around since I was fourteen . I would say I was test driving them to make sure they'd been repaired correctly. Abel didn't think that was funny. I'd been caught many times, caught and subjected to my mother's wrath. But that had never stopped me from doing anything. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1209 | 0en
| Most of these junkers weren't street legal. They didn't have proper registrations or proper number plates. Luckily, Abel also had a stack of old number plates in the back of the garage. I quickly learned I could just put one on an old car and hit the road. I was 19, maybe 20, not thinking about any of the ramifications of this. I stopped by Abel's garage when no one was around, picked up one of the cars, the red Mazda are taken to the metric dance, slapped some old plates on it, | Most of these junkers weren't street legal. They didn't have proper registrations or proper number plates. Luckily, Abel also had a stack of old number plates in the back of the garage. I quickly learned I could just put one on an old car and hit the road. I was nineteen , maybe twenty , not thinking about any of the ramifications of this. I stopped by Abel's garage when no one was around, picked up one of the cars, the red Mazda are taken to the metric dance, slapped some old plates on it,. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
121 | 0en
| Laws were passed prohibiting sex between Europeans and natives, laws that were later amended to prohibit sex between whites and all non-whites. | Laws were passed prohibiting sex between Europeans and natives, laws that were later amended to prohibit sex between whites and all non whites. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1210 | 0en
| I got pulled over in Hillbrow. Cops in South Africa don't give you a reason when they pull you over. Cops pull you over because they're cops and they have the power to pull you over. It's as simple as that. I used to watch American movies where cops would pull people over and say, you didn't signal or your tail lights out. I'd always wonder, why do American cops bother lying? One thing I appreciate about South Africa is that we have not yet refined the system to the point where we feel the need | I got pulled over in Hillbrow. Cops in South Africa don't give you a reason when they pull you over. Cops pull you over because they're cops and they have the power to pull you over. It's as simple as that. I used to watch American movies where cops would pull people over and say, you didn't signal or your tail lights out. I'd always wonder, why do American cops bother lying? One thing I appreciate about South Africa is that we have not yet refined the system to the point where we feel the need. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1212 | 0en
| Your parents, on the other hand, are not rational at all. They have served as judge, jury, and executioner for your entire childhood, and it feels like they give you a life sentence for every misdemeanor. In that moment, when I should have been scared of the cop, all I was thinking was, shit, shit, shit, I am in so much trouble when I get home. The cop called in the number plate registration and discovered that it didn't match the car. Now, he was really on the way. | Your parents, on the other hand, are not rational at all. They have served as judge, jury, and executioner for your entire childhood, and it feels like they give you a life sentence for every misdemeanor. In that moment, when I should have been scared of the cop, all I was thinking was, shit, shit, shit, I am in so much trouble when I get home. The cop called in the number plate registration and discovered that it didn't match the car. Now, he was really on the way. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1213 | 0en
| The Hillbrough Police Station looks exactly like every other police station in South Africa. They were all built by the same contractor at the height of apartheid. Separate nodes in the central nervous system of a police state. If you were blindfolded and taken from one to the other, you probably wouldn't even know that you changed locations. They're sterile, institutional, with fluorescent lights and cheap floor tile like a hospital. My cop walked me in and sat me down at the front booking desk. | The Hillbrough Police Station looks exactly like every other police station in South Africa. They were all built by the same contractor at the height of apartheid. Separate nodes in the central nervous system of a police state. If you were blindfolded and taken from one to the other, you probably wouldn't even know that you changed locations. They're sterile, institutional, with fluorescent lights and cheap floor tile like a hospital. My cop walked me in and sat me down at the front booking desk. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1214 | 0en
| In the meantime, they'd been checking out the car, which wasn't going well for me either. Whenever I borrowed cars from Able's Workshop, I tried to take the junkers rather than a real client's car. I thought I'd get in less trouble that way. That was a mistake. The Mazda, being one of Able's Junkers, didn't have a clear title of ownership. If it had had an owner, the cops would have called the owner, the owner would have explained that the car had been dropped off for repairs, | In the meantime, they'd been checking out the car, which wasn't going well for me either. Whenever I borrowed cars from Able's Workshop, I tried to take the junkers rather than a real client's car. I thought I'd get in less trouble that way. That was a mistake. The Mazda, being one of Able's Junkers, didn't have a clear title of ownership. If it had had an owner, the cops would have called the owner, the owner would have explained that the car had been dropped off for repairs,. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1215 | 0en
| Carjackings were common in South Africa at the time too. So common, you weren't even surprised when they happened. You'd have a friend coming over for a dinner party and you'd get a call. Sorry, got carjacked. Gonna be late. Ah, that sucks. Hey guys, Dave got carjacked. Oh, sorry, Dave. And the party would continue. And that's if the person survived the carjacking. Often, they didn't. People were getting shot for their cars all the time. | Carjackings were common in South Africa at the time too. So common, you weren't even surprised when they happened. You'd have a friend coming over for a dinner party and you'd get a call. Sorry, got carjacked. Gonna be late. Ah, that sucks. Hey guys, Dave got carjacked. Oh, sorry, Dave. And the party would continue. And that's if the person survived the carjacking. Often, they didn't. People were getting shot for their cars all the time. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1217 | 0en
| one call would have fixed everything. | one call would have fixed everything. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1218 | 0en
| This is my stepfather. He's a mechanic. I borrowed his car when I shouldn't have. Done. At worst, I'd get a slap on the wrist for driving a car that wasn't registered. But what would I be getting at home? | This is my stepfather. He's a mechanic. I borrowed his car when I shouldn't have. Done. At worst, I'd get a slap on the wrist for driving a car that wasn't registered. But what would I be getting at home?. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1219 | 0en
| I sat there in the police station, arrested for suspicion of grand theft auto, a plausible suspect for carjacking or murder, and debated whether I should call my parents or go to jail. With my stepfather I was thinking, he might actually kill me. In my mind, that was an entirely realistic scenario. With my mother I was thinking, she's going to make this worse. She's not the character witness I want right now. She won't help me. | I sat there in the police station, arrested for suspicion of grand theft auto, a plausible suspect for carjacking or murder, and debated whether I should call my parents or go to jail. With my stepfather I was thinking, he might actually kill me. In my mind, that was an entirely realistic scenario. With my mother I was thinking, she's going to make this worse. She's not the character witness I want right now. She won't help me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
122 | 0en
| The government went to insane lengths to try to enforce these new laws. The penalty for breaking them was five years in prison. There were whole police squads whose only job was to go around peeking through windows. Clearly an assignment for only the finest law enforcement officers. And if an interracial couple got caught, God help them. The police would kick down the door, drag the people out, beat them, arrest them. At least, that's what they did to the black person. With the white person, it was more like | The government went to insane lengths to try to enforce these new laws. The penalty for breaking them was five years in prison. There were whole police squads whose only job was to go around peeking through windows. Clearly an assignment for only the finest law enforcement officers. And if an interracial couple got caught, God help them. The police would kick down the door, drag the people out, beat them, arrest them. At least, that's what they did to the black person. With the white person, it was more like. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1221 | 0en
| I used my call to phone my cousin and told him not to tell anyone what had happened while I figured out what to do. Now, I just had to figure out what to do. | I used my call to phone my cousin and told him not to tell anyone what had happened while I figured out what to do. Now, I just had to figure out what to do. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1222 | 0en
| I'd been picked up late in the afternoon, so by the time I was processed, it was close to lights out. I was spending the night in jail, like it or not. It was at that point that a cop pulled me aside and told me what I was in for. | I'd been picked up late in the afternoon, so by the time I was processed, it was close to lights out. I was spending the night in jail, like it or not. It was at that point that a cop pulled me aside and told me what I was in for. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1223 | 0en
| The way the system works in South Africa is that you're arrested and held in a cell at the police station until your bail hearing. At the hearing, the judge looks at your case, hears arguments from the opposing sides, and then he that dismisses the charges or sets bail and a trial date. If you can make bail, you pay and go home. But there are all sorts of ways your bail hearing can go wrong. You get some court-appointed lawyer who hasn't read your case and doesn't know what's going on. | The way the system works in South Africa is that you're arrested and held in a cell at the police station until your bail hearing. At the hearing, the judge looks at your case, hears arguments from the opposing sides, and then he that dismisses the charges or sets bail and a trial date. If you can make bail, you pay and go home. But there are all sorts of ways your bail hearing can go wrong. You get some court appointed lawyer who hasn't read your case and doesn't know what's going on. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1224 | 0en
| In prison, you're housed with the people awaiting trial, not with the general population. But even the awaiting trial section is incredibly dangerous because you have people picked up for traffic violations all the way up to proper hardened criminals. You're stuck there together. And you can be there for days, weeks, maybe months. It's the same way in America. If you're poor, if you don't know how the system works, you can slip through the cracks. And the next thing you know, you're in this | In prison, you're housed with the people awaiting trial, not with the general population. But even the awaiting trial section is incredibly dangerous because you have people picked up for traffic violations all the way up to proper hardened criminals. You're stuck there together. And you can be there for days, weeks, maybe months. It's the same way in America. If you're poor, if you don't know how the system works, you can slip through the cracks. And the next thing you know, you're in this. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1226 | 0en
| He wasn't giving me this advice out of the goodness of his heart. He had a deal with a defense attorney, sending him clients in exchange for a kickback. He handed me the attorney's business card. I called him, and he agreed to take my case. He told me to stay put while he handled everything. | He wasn't giving me this advice out of the goodness of his heart. He had a deal with a defense attorney, sending him clients in exchange for a kickback. He handed me the attorney's business card. I called him, and he agreed to take my case. He told me to stay put while he handled everything. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1227 | 0en
| Now, I needed money. Because lawyers, as nice as they are, don't do anything for free. | Now, I needed money. Because lawyers, as nice as they are, don't do anything for free. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1228 | 0en
| I called a friend and asked him if he could ask his dad to borrow some money. He said he'd handle it. He talked to his dad and the lawyer got his retainer the next day. | I called a friend and asked him if he could ask his dad to borrow some money. He said he'd handle it. He talked to his dad and the lawyer got his retainer the next day. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1229 | 0en
| With the lawyer taken care of, I felt like I had things under control. I was feeling pretty slick. I'd handled the situation and most important, Mom and Abel were none the wiser. | With the lawyer taken care of, I felt like I had things under control. I was feeling pretty slick. I'd handled the situation and most important, Mom and Abel were none the wiser. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1230 | 0en
| When the time came for lights out, a cop came and took my stuff. My belt, my wallet, my shoelaces. Why do you need my shoelaces? So you don't hang yourself. | When the time came for lights out, a cop came and took my stuff. My belt, my wallet, my shoelaces. Why do you need my shoelaces? So you don't hang yourself. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1231 | 0en
| Right. Even when he said that, the gravity of my situation still wasn't sinking in. Walking to the station's holding cell, looking around at the other six guys in there, I was thinking, this is no big deal. Everything's going to be cool. I'm going to get out of this. | Right. Even when he said that, the gravity of my situation still wasn't sinking in. Walking to the station's holding cell, looking around at the other six guys in there, I was thinking, this is no big deal. Everything's going to be cool. I'm going to get out of this. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1232 | 0en
| I thought that, right up until the moment the cell door clanged shut behind me and the guard yelled, lights out! That's when I thought, oh shit, this is real. | I thought that, right up until the moment the cell door clanged shut behind me and the guard yelled, lights out! That's when I thought, oh shit, this is real. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1233 | 0en
| The guards had given me a mat and a scratchy blanket. I rolled them out on the concrete floor and tried to get comfortable. Every bad prison movie I'd ever seen was racing through my head. | The guards had given me a mat and a scratchy blanket. I rolled them out on the concrete floor and tried to get comfortable. Every bad prison movie I'd ever seen was racing through my head. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1235 | 0en
| I woke up the next morning with that fleeting sensation where you think something has all been a dream. Then I looked around and remembered that it wasn't. Breakfast came and I settled in to wait. | I woke up the next morning with that fleeting sensation where you think something has all been a dream. Then I looked around and remembered that it wasn't. Breakfast came and I settled in to wait. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1236 | 0en
| A day in jail is mostly silence punctuated by passing guards shouting profanities at you, doing roll call. Inside the holding cell, nobody says anything. Nobody walks into a jail cell and says, hi guys, I'm Brian. | A day in jail is mostly silence punctuated by passing guards shouting profanities at you, doing roll call. Inside the holding cell, nobody says anything. Nobody walks into a jail cell and says, hi guys, I'm Brian. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1237 | 0en
| Because everyone is afraid and no one wants to appear vulnerable. Nobody wants to be the bitch. Nobody wants to be the guy getting killed. I didn't want anyone to know that I was just a kid in for a traffic charge. So I reached back in my mind for all the stereotypes of what I imagined people act like in prison. And then I tried to act like that. | Because everyone is afraid and no one wants to appear vulnerable. Nobody wants to be the bitch. Nobody wants to be the guy getting killed. I didn't want anyone to know that I was just a kid in for a traffic charge. So I reached back in my mind for all the stereotypes of what I imagined people act like in prison. And then I tried to act like that. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1238 | 0en
| In South Africa, everyone knows that coloured gangsters are the most ruthless, the most savage. It's a stereotype that's fed to you your whole life. The most notorious coloured gangs are the numbers gangs, the 26s, the 27s, the 28s. They control the prisons. They are known for being brutally violent, maiming, torturing, raping, cutting off people's heads. Not for the sake of making money, but just to prove how ruthless and savage they are. | In South Africa, everyone knows that coloured gangsters are the most ruthless, the most savage. It's a stereotype that's fed to you your whole life. The most notorious coloured gangs are the numbers gangs, the twenty six s, the twenty seven s, the twenty eight s. They control the prisons. They are known for being brutally violent, maiming, torturing, raping, cutting off people's heads. Not for the sake of making money, but just to prove how ruthless and savage they are. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
124 | 0en
| If you stop to consider the ramifications, you'll never do anything. Still, it was a crazy, reckless thing to do. A million things had to go right for us to slip through the cracks the way we did for as long as we did. | If you stop to consider the ramifications, you'll never do anything. Still, it was a crazy, reckless thing to do. A million things had to go right for us to slip through the cracks the way we did for as long as we did. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.001 | 0en
| I figured that if I was in jail, people were going to assume I was the kind of colored person who ends up in jail. | I figured that if I was in jail, people were going to assume I was the kind of colored person who ends up in jail. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.002 | 0en
| a violent criminal. So I played it up. | a violent criminal. So I played it up. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.003 | 0en
| I put on this character. I played the stereotype. | I put on this character. I played the stereotype. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.005 | 0en
| Imagine a white guy in America, just dark enough to pass for Latino, walking around jail doing bad Mexican gangster dialogue from the movies. | Imagine a white guy in America, just dark enough to pass for Latino, walking around jail doing bad Mexican gangster dialogue from the movies. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.006 | 0en
| Shit's about to get loco essay. | Shit's about to get loco essay. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.007 | 0en
| That's basically what I was doing. | That's basically what I was doing. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.008 | 0en
| the South African version of that. | the South African version of that. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.010 | 0en
| But it worked. | But it worked. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.011 | 0en
| The guys in the cell with me, they were there for drunk driving, for domestic abuse, for petty theft. They had no idea what real colored gangsters were like. | The guys in the cell with me, they were there for drunk driving, for domestic abuse, for petty theft. They had no idea what real colored gangsters were like. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.012 | 0en
| Everyone left me alone. | Everyone left me alone. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.013 | 0en
| We were all playing a game. Only nobody knew we were playing it. | We were all playing a game. Only nobody knew we were playing it. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.015 | 0en
| I'm dangerous. Don't fuck with me. | I'm dangerous. Don't fuck with me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.016 | 0en
| So I went shits. | So I went shits. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.017 | 0en
| These people are hardened criminals. | These people are hardened criminals. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.018 | 0en
| I shouldn't be here because I am not a criminal. | I shouldn't be here because I am not a criminal. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.020 | 0en
| One by one, guys left to go to their hearings. I stayed to wait for my lawyer, and new people started to pitch up. Now, I was the veteran. | One by one, guys left to go to their hearings. I stayed to wait for my lawyer, and new people started to pitch up. Now, I was the veteran. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.021 | 0en
| Doing my colored gangster routine giving the new guys the same look. I'm dangerous Don't fuck with me | Doing my colored gangster routine giving the new guys the same look. I'm dangerous Don't fuck with me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240.022 | 0en
| And they looked at me and went, shit, he's a hardened criminal. I shouldn't be here because I'm not like him. | And they looked at me and went, shit, he's a hardened criminal. I shouldn't be here because I'm not like him. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1240 | 0en
| I figured that if I was in jail, people were going to assume I was the kind of colored person who ends up in jail. A violent criminal. So I played it up. I put on this character. I played the stereotype. Anytime the cops asked me questions, I started speaking in broken off recants with a thick colored accent. Imagine a white guy in America, just dark enough to pass for Latino, walking around jail, doing bad Mexican gangster dialogue from the movies. | I figured that if I was in jail, people were going to assume I was the kind of colored person who ends up in jail. A violent criminal. So I played it up. I put on this character. I played the stereotype. Anytime the cops asked me questions, I started speaking in broken off recants with a thick colored accent. Imagine a white guy in America, just dark enough to pass for Latino, walking around jail, doing bad Mexican gangster dialogue from the movies. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1242 | 0en
| Once I had the game sorted out, I was good again. I relaxed. I was back to thinking, I got this. This is no big deal. The food was actually decent. For breakfast, they brought you these peanut butter sandwiches on thick slices of bread. Lunch was chicken and rice. The tea was too hot and it was more water than tea, but it was drinkable. They were older, hard-time prisoners close to parole and their detail was to come and clean the cells and circulate | Once I had the game sorted out, I was good again. I relaxed. I was back to thinking, I got this. This is no big deal. The food was actually decent. For breakfast, they brought you these peanut butter sandwiches on thick slices of bread. Lunch was chicken and rice. The tea was too hot and it was more water than tea, but it was drinkable. They were older, hard time prisoners close to parole and their detail was to come and clean the cells and circulate. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1243 | 0en
| There was one point when I remember eating a meal and saying to myself, this isn't so bad. I hang around with a bunch of dudes. There's no chores, no bills to pay. No one constantly nagging me and telling me what to do. Peanut butter sandwiches? Shit, I eat peanut butter sandwiches all the time. This is pretty sweet. I could do this. I was so afraid of the ass whooping waiting for me at home that I genuinely considered going to prison. For a brief moment, | There was one point when I remember eating a meal and saying to myself, this isn't so bad. I hang around with a bunch of dudes. There's no chores, no bills to pay. No one constantly nagging me and telling me what to do. Peanut butter sandwiches? Shit, I eat peanut butter sandwiches all the time. This is pretty sweet. I could do this. I was so afraid of the ass whooping waiting for me at home that I genuinely considered going to prison. For a brief moment,. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1244 | 0en
| I'll go away for a couple of years, come back and say I was kidnapped and mom will never know and she'll just be happy to see me. | I'll go away for a couple of years, come back and say I was kidnapped and mom will never know and she'll just be happy to see me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1245 | 0en
| On the third day, the cops brought in the largest man I had ever seen. This guy was huge. Giant muscles, dark skin, hardened face. He looked like he could kill all of us. Me and the other prisoners who'd been acting tough with one another, the second he walked in, our tough guy routines were over. Everyone was terrified. We all stared at him. Oh, fuck. | On the third day, the cops brought in the largest man I had ever seen. This guy was huge. Giant muscles, dark skin, hardened face. He looked like he could kill all of us. Me and the other prisoners who'd been acting tough with one another, the second he walked in, our tough guy routines were over. Everyone was terrified. We all stared at him. Oh, fuck. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1247 | 0en
| Then one of the cops came back and called the Hulk over. They needed information from him. The cop started asking him a bunch of questions, but the guy kept shaking his head and saying he didn't understand. The cop was speaking Zulu. The Hulk was speaking Zonga. Black person to black person and neither could understand the other. The Tower of Babel. | Then one of the cops came back and called the Hulk over. They needed information from him. The cop started asking him a bunch of questions, but the guy kept shaking his head and saying he didn't understand. The cop was speaking Zulu. The Hulk was speaking Zonga. Black person to black person and neither could understand the other. The Tower of Babel. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1248 | 0en
| Few people in South Africa speak Zonga, but since my stepfather was Zonga, I had picked it up along the way. I overheard the cop and the other guy going back and forth with nothing getting across, so I stepped in and translated for them and sorted everything out. | Few people in South Africa speak Zonga, but since my stepfather was Zonga, I had picked it up along the way. I overheard the cop and the other guy going back and forth with nothing getting across, so I stepped in and translated for them and sorted everything out. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1249 | 0en
| Nelson Mandela once said, if you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. He was so right. When you make the effort to speak someone else's language, even if it's just basic phrases here and there, you are saying to them, I understand that you have a culture and identity that exists beyond me. I see you as a human being. | Nelson Mandela once said, if you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. He was so right. When you make the effort to speak someone else's language, even if it's just basic phrases here and there, you are saying to them, I understand that you have a culture and identity that exists beyond me. I see you as a human being. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
125 | 0en
| Under apartheid, if you were a black man, you worked on a farm, or in a factory, or in a mine. If you were a black woman, you worked in a factory, or as a maid. Those were pretty much your only options. My mother didn't want to work in a factory. She was a horrible cook and never would have stood for some white lady telling her what to do all day. | Under apartheid, if you were a black man, you worked on a farm, or in a factory, or in a mine. If you were a black woman, you worked in a factory, or as a maid. Those were pretty much your only options. My mother didn't want to work in a factory. She was a horrible cook and never would have stood for some white lady telling her what to do all day. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1251 | 0en
| Once we started talking, I realized he wasn't the Hulk at all. He was the sweetest man, a gentle giant, the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was simple, not educated. I'd assumed he was in for murder, for squashing a family to death with his bare hands, but it wasn't anything like that. He'd been arrested for shoplifting PlayStation games. He was out of work and needed money to send to his family back home. And when he saw how much these games sold for, he thought he could steal a few | Once we started talking, I realized he wasn't the Hulk at all. He was the sweetest man, a gentle giant, the biggest teddy bear in the world. He was simple, not educated. I'd assumed he was in for murder, for squashing a family to death with his bare hands, but it wasn't anything like that. He'd been arrested for shoplifting PlayStation games. He was out of work and needed money to send to his family back home. And when he saw how much these games sold for, he thought he could steal a few. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1252 | 0en
| I tried to help him out a bit. I told him my trick of putting off your bail hearing to get your defense together. So he stayed in the cell too, biding his time. And we hit it off and hung out for a few days, having a good time, getting to know each other. No one else in the cell knew what to make of us. The ruthless, colored gangster and his menacing, hulk-like friend. | I tried to help him out a bit. I told him my trick of putting off your bail hearing to get your defense together. So he stayed in the cell too, biding his time. And we hit it off and hung out for a few days, having a good time, getting to know each other. No one else in the cell knew what to make of us. The ruthless, colored gangster and his menacing, hulk like friend. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1253 | 0en
| He told me his story, a South African story that was all too familiar to me. | He told me his story, a South African story that was all too familiar to me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1254 | 0en
| The man grows up under apartheid, working on a farm, part of what's essentially a slave labour force. It's a living hell, but it's at least something. He's paid a pittance, but at least he's paid. He's told where to be and what to do every waking minute of his day. | The man grows up under apartheid, working on a farm, part of what's essentially a slave labour force. It's a living hell, but it's at least something. He's paid a pittance, but at least he's paid. He's told where to be and what to do every waking minute of his day. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1256 | 0en
| He finds his way to Johannesburg, looking for work, trying to feed his children back home. But he's lost. He has no education. He has no skills. He doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know where to be. The world has been taught to be scared of him. But the reality is that he's scared of the world because he has none of the tools necessary to cope with it. So what does he do? He takes shit. He becomes a petty thief. He's in and out of jail. | He finds his way to Johannesburg, looking for work, trying to feed his children back home. But he's lost. He has no education. He has no skills. He doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know where to be. The world has been taught to be scared of him. But the reality is that he's scared of the world because he has none of the tools necessary to cope with it. So what does he do? He takes shit. He becomes a petty thief. He's in and out of jail. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1257 | 0en
| I felt terrible for him. The more time I spent in jail, the more I realized that the law isn't rational at all. It's a lottery. What color is your skin? How much money do you have? Who's your lawyer? Who's the judge? Shoplifting PlayStation games was less of an offense than driving with bad number plates. He had committed a crime, but he was no more a criminal than I was. The difference was that he didn't have any friends or family to help him out. He couldn't afford anything | I felt terrible for him. The more time I spent in jail, the more I realized that the law isn't rational at all. It's a lottery. What color is your skin? How much money do you have? Who's your lawyer? Who's the judge? Shoplifting PlayStation games was less of an offense than driving with bad number plates. He had committed a crime, but he was no more a criminal than I was. The difference was that he didn't have any friends or family to help him out. He couldn't afford anything. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1258 | 0en
| If I had to guess, he was around 35, 40 years old, staring down another 35, 40 years of the same. | If I had to guess, he was around thirty five , forty years old, staring down another thirty five , forty years of the same. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1259 | 0en
| The day of my hearing came. I said goodbye to my new friend and wished him the best. Then I was handcuffed and put in the back of a police van and driven to the courthouse to meet my fate. | The day of my hearing came. I said goodbye to my new friend and wished him the best. Then I was handcuffed and put in the back of a police van and driven to the courthouse to meet my fate. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1260 | 0en
| In South African courts, to minimize your exposure and your opportunities for escape, the holding cell where you await your hearing is a massive pen below the courtroom. | In South African courts, to minimize your exposure and your opportunities for escape, the holding cell where you await your hearing is a massive pen below the courtroom. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1261 | 0en
| you walk up a set of stairs, into the dock, rather than being escorted through the corridors. What happens in the holding cell is you're mixed in with the people who've been in prison awaiting trial for weeks and months. It's a weird mix. Everything from white-collar criminals to guys picked up on traffic stops, to real hardcore criminals covered with prison tattoos. It's like the cantina scene from Star Wars, where the band's playing music and Hans Solo's in the corner, and all of the bad guys | you walk up a set of stairs, into the dock, rather than being escorted through the corridors. What happens in the holding cell is you're mixed in with the people who've been in prison awaiting trial for weeks and months. It's a weird mix. Everything from white collar criminals to guys picked up on traffic stops, to real hardcore criminals covered with prison tattoos. It's like the cantina scene from Star Wars, where the band's playing music and Hans Solo's in the corner, and all of the bad guys. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1262 | 0en
| I was with these people for only a brief window of time. But in that moment, I saw the difference between prison and jail. I saw the difference between criminals and people who've committed crimes. I saw the hardness in people's faces. I thought back on how naive I'd been just hours before, thinking jail wasn't so bad and I could handle it. I was now truly afraid of what might happen to me. | I was with these people for only a brief window of time. But in that moment, I saw the difference between prison and jail. I saw the difference between criminals and people who've committed crimes. I saw the hardness in people's faces. I thought back on how naive I'd been just hours before, thinking jail wasn't so bad and I could handle it. I was now truly afraid of what might happen to me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1263 | 0en
| When I walked into that holding pen, I was a smooth-skinned, fresh-faced young man. At the time, I had a giant afro, and the only way to control it was to have it tied back in this ponytail thing that looked really girly. I looked like Maxwell. The guards closed the door behind me, and this creepy old dude yelled out in Zulu from the back. Ha ha ha! Here, my daughter! | When I walked into that holding pen, I was a smooth skinned, fresh faced young man. At the time, I had a giant afro, and the only way to control it was to have it tied back in this ponytail thing that looked really girly. I looked like Maxwell. The guards closed the door behind me, and this creepy old dude yelled out in Zulu from the back. Ha ha ha! Here, my daughter!. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1265 | 0en
| Yo, yo, yo, damn guys. I've never seen a man this beautiful before. It's gonna be a good night tonight. Fuck! Right next to me as I walked in was a young man having a complete meltdown, talking to himself, bawling his eyes out. He looked up and locked eyes with me, and I guess he thought I looked like a kindred soul he could talk to. He came straight at me and started crying about how he'd been | Yo, yo, yo, damn guys. I've never seen a man this beautiful before. It's gonna be a good night tonight. Fuck! Right next to me as I walked in was a young man having a complete meltdown, talking to himself, bawling his eyes out. He looked up and locked eyes with me, and I guess he thought I looked like a kindred soul he could talk to. He came straight at me and started crying about how he'd been. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1266 | 0en
| I was staring at the most notorious, most violent prison gang in South Africa. I looked like them, but I wasn't them. I couldn't go over there doing my fake gangster shit and have them discover I was a fraud. No, no, no. That game was over, my friend. The last thing I needed was colored gangsters up against me. | I was staring at the most notorious, most violent prison gang in South Africa. I looked like them, but I wasn't them. I couldn't go over there doing my fake gangster shit and have them discover I was a fraud. No, no, no. That game was over, my friend. The last thing I needed was colored gangsters up against me. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1267 | 0en
| But then, what if I went to the black corner? I know that I'm black, and I identify as black, but I'm not a black person on the face of it. So would the black guys understand why I was walking over? And what kind of shit would I start by going there? Because going to the black corner as a perceived colored person might piss off the colored gangs even more than going to the colored corner as a fake colored person. Because that's what had happened to me my entire life. Colored people would see me hanging out with blacks | But then, what if I went to the black corner? I know that I'm black, and I identify as black, but I'm not a black person on the face of it. So would the black guys understand why I was walking over? And what kind of shit would I start by going there? Because going to the black corner as a perceived colored person might piss off the colored gangs even more than going to the colored corner as a fake colored person. Because that's what had happened to me my entire life. Colored people would see me hanging out with blacks. | male | 1 | true | None |
|
1268 | 0en
| All of this was happening in my head in an instant, on the fly. I was doing crazy calculations, looking at people, scanning the room, assessing the variables. If I go here, then this. If I go there, then that. My whole life was flashing before me. The playground at school, the spazza shops in Soweto, the streets of Eden Park. Every time and every place I ever had to be a chameleon, navigate between groups, explain who I was. | All of this was happening in my head in an instant, on the fly. I was doing crazy calculations, looking at people, scanning the room, assessing the variables. If I go here, then this. If I go there, then that. My whole life was flashing before me. The playground at school, the spazza shops in Soweto, the streets of Eden Park. Every time and every place I ever had to be a chameleon, navigate between groups, explain who I was. | male | 1 | true | None |
Subsets and Splits