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euclaise
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WritingPrompts_binarized

Dataset card Data Studio Files Files and versions Community

Split (1)

train · 353k rows

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[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	"I'm the goddess of love." The man blinked twice. "Sorry, I have bad hearing, can you run that by me again?" he replied. He'd heard of beer goggles, but at the moment he was wondering if there was such a thing as 'beer ears'. "You heard me," the blonde woman sitting next to him replied, swiveling her stool to face him with her sharp blue eyes, "seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. Love, lust, beauty, vanity - some go their whole lives without understanding any of it, but that's just because they haven't had a few thousand years like me." The woman next to him was not particularly unattractive. He could see himself being friends with such a girl, but to call herself a goddess of love and beauty was perhaps a bit much - her eyes were pretty, but she was rather plain, wearing no earrings, makeup, or a particularly low cut dress. Still, his brain was somewhat functional, and he knew that if he commented on something so superficial, he'd probably be eating his glass rather than drinking from it. "Alright," he said, prodded as much by curiosity as by disbelief, "if you're the goddess of love, can you prove it?" "What'll you give me?" She shot back. "What?" "What good is it to prove it?" she replied, "make it worth my while, and I'll show you that I'm the goddess of love." The man pondered for a moment, entertaining the idea of coming up with something that might please a goddess. "If you can genuinely convince me that you're the goddess of love, I will eat my shoe." "Hah, good enough," said the woman. She turned her seat completely around, looking out at the rest of the busy bar. "Alright, pick a woman in here, any woman." "Eh?" the man replied to the goddess, "uh, alright. By the door, blonde, black dress. The one that's talking to the dude who looks like he could bench press a bus." "Oh, that's an easy one, she's single." "What?" the man replied, "how do you figure? She looks gorgeous, she's bound to have a boyfriend." "Naw," replied the woman, "mascara, eyeshadow, acting bubbly and cheery, she's single and on the hunt. You want help with her?" "Oh no," the man said, recoiling, "that jacked dude she's talking to looks way too friendly with her, I'm not messing with that." "Oh, they are actually friends," said the woman, "He's gay and wingmaning for her, making sure weird dudes stay away from her. A real gentleman, though I guess that hurts your chances, doesn't it?" "You're just guessing," retorted the man. The goddess shrugged. "Ask her if you don't believe me. Now, give me a harder one." The man thought for a moment. "Back in the corner, in the booth. The one with the ponytail, across from the one in the blue shirt and jeans." "Well, that's more of a teal shirt, but yeah, the one you're talking about is taken. Teal girl is single though." The man raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure? Ponytail girl doesn't look very attractive. A little on the, er, rounded side, maybe not the prettiest face." "Bah! Hardly matters," replied the goddess, "while she may not fare up to your standards of beauty, she's got confidence and charisma, the kind of person who draws attention in more ways than just looks. Her face could be covered in bees, she'd still find a guy." "In other words, go for her friend." The goddess chuckled. "Her friend may be single, but not looking. Student focused on studies. Maybe if you were the right guy, but it wouldn't be for a few months." The man grumbled. He had no way of verifying any of this unless he up and asked any of these women. Suddenly, something caught his eye. "Over there, coming out of the bathroom - dark hair, freckles, deadpool shirt, and-" "You mean your sister?" chuckled the goddess, "you shouldn't need me to tell you that one." "No! I'm testing you here!" "I'm teasing," replied the goddess. "Lesbian, married, planning to adopt a kid but hasn't told your mother yet. Good enough?" The man raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, one last one," he said. "That one." The goddess smiled when she saw the man was pointing at her. "Oh?" she grinned, "are you asking if I, the goddess of love and beauty, is free to gallop around with some young man? You know, I'm a few millenia older than you." "If I'm going to be making noodle-and-shoe soup for myself tonight, I might as well try to enjoy it with someone interesting." She laughed. "I like a man who owns up to his promises. Then let's see you make the best shoe-soup this world has ever seen!" By the end of the night, the two had left the bar. True to his word, the man made a shoe-soup to uphold his end of the bet - while smartly ordering a takeout pizza for the two of them to share as they spent a more than interesting evening with each other.	What else was I going to do? I had just been temporarily deployed to a duty station. While they ripped the flight line up from my base, but work can never stop. Grease stained my hands, my knuckles bloodied from breaking lug nuts off tires and replacing them. Now I was stuck in the middle of nowhere, with the only place to drink being a run down bar full of people under the impression that drinks can solve their problems. But who was I to judge. wasn’t I doing the same? drinking to cure my social seclusion. I didn’t even notice when she walked in. a friend in each arm one she wasn’t the prettiest her long wavy brown hair layered on her shoulders. a long white t with some irrelevant label and jeans. her friends much better dressed for a night out. they sat across the room from me separated by what seemed to be an obstacle course of tables and guys trying to get their chance with her friends. I filled my stomach with liquid courage and made my move on her friends. making small talk about college, drinks, and jobs. I can’t say I was the best flirt, but she kept staring at me. as if trying to figure me out. her friends were escorted away by two strangers, and I was perfectly fine with that. we talked about the fact she was leaving soon. She was going overseas for her schooling, and she just wanted to have some fun before she went. Her eyes sparkled green almost glowing, and a seductive smile grinned perfect white teeth. was it the bottle of whiskey that was turning this plain girl into a goddess? it must have been. we seemed to talk for hours ignoring everything around us. I escorted her out to her car. asking her if she wanted to get out of here? she smiled and touched my face, as she slid her number into my hands. that night I laid in bed and thought more about her. Her eyes as they stared into my soul. how her words formed a sympathy that would make a sinner repent. how she scared me... I called her the next day we decided we should go on a date a simple game of laser tag and dinner. a few garlic sticks later, and we shared our first kiss. her perfume drawing me into her as she tangled her fingers into my hair. we tempted the line of decently more than once and we rarely paused to breathe. My heart raced as fast as it did when I was young and inexperienced in this particular thing, but she was consuming my world, and holding my heart in her hand. than she stopped and asked me to take her home. I sat in the car that night the butterflies in my stomach kicking my ribs. it was painful to be without her.. we had many dates each one more wonderful than the last. we spoke of politics, and kids. we talked of marriage and friends. then the day came. we were hiking in Yellowstone I was walking behind her living in the ambience of love. she stopped suddenly and turned to me and touched my chest. the shock of her touch made my hair stand up on ends. she told me “it’s time”. that she would leave tonight to go abroad. I tried to grasp at straws. saying that “we can make the distance work” that I can “wait for her”. She doesn’t have to go. she just smiled as she held my hand and said “we always knew what this was just a place holder for time”. her hair shined gold in the light as her lips pursed. her words whispered “your a sweet guy you were nice while we lasted but a goddess can never love a mortal”. then she was gone as if she had never existed. tears welled in my eyes. I was alone again... it’s been years since then. I finished my term in the Military and now just work in a shop. I’m still alone I haven’t dated since her. sometimes I think I see her, but I know she’s happy without me. sometimes I wish what we had been real, but I should have known she would never love me. Please excuse grammar and punctuation I am vary horrible at this.
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	The Goddess of Beauty, surprisingly humble in her charms Looks up at you with bundles of roses on her arms Face of no note, flower-adorned hair of plain coloration Yet in no time at all you feel adoration Every week you meet in a garden, surrounded by flowers Eating, laughing, wasting the day's hours Each morning you wake, heart filled with bliss Until one day you notice something amiss A small rash, intense in its itch Not something a bit of ointment can't fix You meet your goddess with usual ardor Has she become more beautiful than before? Time passes and you wait eagerly for you next meeting But your joy is suspended, excitement fleeting For upon the rash that once was red Grows a small bulb in its stead You show the Goddess, offering her your arm And she smiles, saying it means you no harm For this is a symbol of our love blooming So won't you give its roots a kind welcoming? This of you she asks, rosecheeks blushing gently Bewitched, you agree and leave it be Time continues and with each passing day The bulb grows and blooms and blossoms away A beautiful rose, like those of the Goddess' garden Stands curled around you arm, a miracle beholden Giddy and glowing, the Goddess' joy knows no bounds Even as the second, third, fifth flower comes 'round As you rush to the Goddess, body burdened by roses growing free You panic as your hands paw at the thorned stems futilely Yet when you arrive you cannot see her there Nothing but the garden where She once stood The roses tremble You dare to look down And there is the Goddess' perfect face And her flower crown And her golden hair And her full lips drawn Into a smile And she says As the flowers spread My dear, my love, Now we can be together, Forever	Her raven black hair was the thing I found most unattractive about her. It was too... Bland. Why the hell was she the goddess of love and beauty again? She was average by all accounts. Her brown eyes were just about the same as the others millions of people that live on planet Earth. She was petite, much to my dissatisfaction. Not to mention her nose was a little too pointy. Around half my height, it was quite a bother to talk to her but for some reason, she kept coming back to talk to man like me. For as long as I have known, I always knew the right strings to pull when it cam to the matters of the heart. I have taken the innocence of many women and I thought the goddess would be a nice next target but she seemed like no fun. "Whatcha thinking about?" She asked, her squeaky voice, painfully annoying to my ears. "Nothing that concerns you." She crossed her arms and gave me a dirty look and fluttered her tongue. "Meanie." I gave her a deep sigh. "How long exactly do you plan on doing this?" Her angry expression immediately shifted to a purely confused one as she puckered her lips. "Until you love me?" I laughed uncontrollably. "Never is a long time, missy." She smiled at me. "Give it time." 3 weeks later. "Okay, how did you get in my room?" The goddess was reading one of my fashion magazines on my bed. Her gaze momentarily flickered towards me before returning her attention to the magazine. "Is it really that important to keep up with these trends?" She asked. I snatched the magazine from her, which she willingly allowed me to do, trying to get her to talk to me. She stretched and rolled around my bed. She was wearing an oversized hoodie with shorts. Even I had to admit she looked cute. "Oh come on, it's not like I'm the first woman to enter here." I think back to those women that I easily tricked into getting in bed with me. They had loved me unconditionally but I knew from the gecko, that I was only to satisfy my needs. "You know I can see any sexual thoughts right?" Damn it! That just made the situation awkward. "Umm.... Were you offended?" She glared at me and sarcastically replied. "What? When a dirty slimeball plays with other people's hearts? No, that can be right, that must be the most honourable action a man can take." Definitely awkward. "Umm... Could you please leave. My parents are downstairs and they don't know about what I do up here. She got up and proceeded to walk past me and vanish into thin air but not before a strand of hair struck me in the face. I could smell the fragrance of her shampoo. Strawberries. Wait, do goddesses even wear shampoo? 2 months later. It's been awhile since I last saw that goddess and something feels a little out of place. I haven't been eating or sleeping very well these days. I'm a mess! For some reason, I keep smelling that sweet fragrance of hers. Where the hell was she? Was this loneliness? "Miss me?" Said a familiar voice. I was on my feet in seconds and I was greeted with that sweet smile of hers. She looked the same and yet somehow so different. Her black hair suddenly looked dazzling, she seemed to glow up. I was at a lost of words. "I see you've learned your lesson." I was confused. "Lesson?" "That has been my goal for all this time, David. When I first met you, I saw nothing. An empty husk of a man. No love, no passion. You were selfish and disrespectful but I saw light in your heart. It's there in all of us but sometimes we just need the right person to bring that light out into the world where it cam shine the brightest." Streams of tears rolled down my cheek. "I was an idiot. All those women I hurt, I swear I'll make right by them, even if it kills me!" She slandered a finger across my cheek to wipe the tears. "The path of redemption is often a hard one but at the end of it? Endless peace. I wish you luck, my dear David." Emotions I never knew I had were suddenly surfacing. "Why does it sound like you're leaving?" A smile formed on her face. "I have done my duty, live your life now as a true man." Out of the blue, the face of the goddess melted away to reveal her true form. Her beauty was blinding, I couldn't even describe it. "Live and die a happy man, David!" She placed a hand over my head and everything turned pitch black. 1 year later. I embrace Amber with all my might. I finally got the girl of my dreams. Her black hair, pointy nose and petite body were the things that I adored about her. The weirdest thing is I felt like I've seen her before in some distant past "Wanna come over to my house tonight?" She asked, a hint of lust in her voice. I laughed. "Sorry, but I stopped doing that a long time ago. Let's save that for after we're married." Amber looked a little disappointed but nodded. "Fine, you win." I gave her a little smooch and we continued our stroll trough the park. Nearby, the goddess, who was disguised as an old woman, lowered her newspaper. She was actually just eavesdropping. "Well, you know what they say about love," She said before vanishing.
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	"I'm the goddess of love." The man blinked twice. "Sorry, I have bad hearing, can you run that by me again?" he replied. He'd heard of beer goggles, but at the moment he was wondering if there was such a thing as 'beer ears'. "You heard me," the blonde woman sitting next to him replied, swiveling her stool to face him with her sharp blue eyes, "seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. Love, lust, beauty, vanity - some go their whole lives without understanding any of it, but that's just because they haven't had a few thousand years like me." The woman next to him was not particularly unattractive. He could see himself being friends with such a girl, but to call herself a goddess of love and beauty was perhaps a bit much - her eyes were pretty, but she was rather plain, wearing no earrings, makeup, or a particularly low cut dress. Still, his brain was somewhat functional, and he knew that if he commented on something so superficial, he'd probably be eating his glass rather than drinking from it. "Alright," he said, prodded as much by curiosity as by disbelief, "if you're the goddess of love, can you prove it?" "What'll you give me?" She shot back. "What?" "What good is it to prove it?" she replied, "make it worth my while, and I'll show you that I'm the goddess of love." The man pondered for a moment, entertaining the idea of coming up with something that might please a goddess. "If you can genuinely convince me that you're the goddess of love, I will eat my shoe." "Hah, good enough," said the woman. She turned her seat completely around, looking out at the rest of the busy bar. "Alright, pick a woman in here, any woman." "Eh?" the man replied to the goddess, "uh, alright. By the door, blonde, black dress. The one that's talking to the dude who looks like he could bench press a bus." "Oh, that's an easy one, she's single." "What?" the man replied, "how do you figure? She looks gorgeous, she's bound to have a boyfriend." "Naw," replied the woman, "mascara, eyeshadow, acting bubbly and cheery, she's single and on the hunt. You want help with her?" "Oh no," the man said, recoiling, "that jacked dude she's talking to looks way too friendly with her, I'm not messing with that." "Oh, they are actually friends," said the woman, "He's gay and wingmaning for her, making sure weird dudes stay away from her. A real gentleman, though I guess that hurts your chances, doesn't it?" "You're just guessing," retorted the man. The goddess shrugged. "Ask her if you don't believe me. Now, give me a harder one." The man thought for a moment. "Back in the corner, in the booth. The one with the ponytail, across from the one in the blue shirt and jeans." "Well, that's more of a teal shirt, but yeah, the one you're talking about is taken. Teal girl is single though." The man raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure? Ponytail girl doesn't look very attractive. A little on the, er, rounded side, maybe not the prettiest face." "Bah! Hardly matters," replied the goddess, "while she may not fare up to your standards of beauty, she's got confidence and charisma, the kind of person who draws attention in more ways than just looks. Her face could be covered in bees, she'd still find a guy." "In other words, go for her friend." The goddess chuckled. "Her friend may be single, but not looking. Student focused on studies. Maybe if you were the right guy, but it wouldn't be for a few months." The man grumbled. He had no way of verifying any of this unless he up and asked any of these women. Suddenly, something caught his eye. "Over there, coming out of the bathroom - dark hair, freckles, deadpool shirt, and-" "You mean your sister?" chuckled the goddess, "you shouldn't need me to tell you that one." "No! I'm testing you here!" "I'm teasing," replied the goddess. "Lesbian, married, planning to adopt a kid but hasn't told your mother yet. Good enough?" The man raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, one last one," he said. "That one." The goddess smiled when she saw the man was pointing at her. "Oh?" she grinned, "are you asking if I, the goddess of love and beauty, is free to gallop around with some young man? You know, I'm a few millenia older than you." "If I'm going to be making noodle-and-shoe soup for myself tonight, I might as well try to enjoy it with someone interesting." She laughed. "I like a man who owns up to his promises. Then let's see you make the best shoe-soup this world has ever seen!" By the end of the night, the two had left the bar. True to his word, the man made a shoe-soup to uphold his end of the bet - while smartly ordering a takeout pizza for the two of them to share as they spent a more than interesting evening with each other.	Her raven black hair was the thing I found most unattractive about her. It was too... Bland. Why the hell was she the goddess of love and beauty again? She was average by all accounts. Her brown eyes were just about the same as the others millions of people that live on planet Earth. She was petite, much to my dissatisfaction. Not to mention her nose was a little too pointy. Around half my height, it was quite a bother to talk to her but for some reason, she kept coming back to talk to man like me. For as long as I have known, I always knew the right strings to pull when it cam to the matters of the heart. I have taken the innocence of many women and I thought the goddess would be a nice next target but she seemed like no fun. "Whatcha thinking about?" She asked, her squeaky voice, painfully annoying to my ears. "Nothing that concerns you." She crossed her arms and gave me a dirty look and fluttered her tongue. "Meanie." I gave her a deep sigh. "How long exactly do you plan on doing this?" Her angry expression immediately shifted to a purely confused one as she puckered her lips. "Until you love me?" I laughed uncontrollably. "Never is a long time, missy." She smiled at me. "Give it time." 3 weeks later. "Okay, how did you get in my room?" The goddess was reading one of my fashion magazines on my bed. Her gaze momentarily flickered towards me before returning her attention to the magazine. "Is it really that important to keep up with these trends?" She asked. I snatched the magazine from her, which she willingly allowed me to do, trying to get her to talk to me. She stretched and rolled around my bed. She was wearing an oversized hoodie with shorts. Even I had to admit she looked cute. "Oh come on, it's not like I'm the first woman to enter here." I think back to those women that I easily tricked into getting in bed with me. They had loved me unconditionally but I knew from the gecko, that I was only to satisfy my needs. "You know I can see any sexual thoughts right?" Damn it! That just made the situation awkward. "Umm.... Were you offended?" She glared at me and sarcastically replied. "What? When a dirty slimeball plays with other people's hearts? No, that can be right, that must be the most honourable action a man can take." Definitely awkward. "Umm... Could you please leave. My parents are downstairs and they don't know about what I do up here. She got up and proceeded to walk past me and vanish into thin air but not before a strand of hair struck me in the face. I could smell the fragrance of her shampoo. Strawberries. Wait, do goddesses even wear shampoo? 2 months later. It's been awhile since I last saw that goddess and something feels a little out of place. I haven't been eating or sleeping very well these days. I'm a mess! For some reason, I keep smelling that sweet fragrance of hers. Where the hell was she? Was this loneliness? "Miss me?" Said a familiar voice. I was on my feet in seconds and I was greeted with that sweet smile of hers. She looked the same and yet somehow so different. Her black hair suddenly looked dazzling, she seemed to glow up. I was at a lost of words. "I see you've learned your lesson." I was confused. "Lesson?" "That has been my goal for all this time, David. When I first met you, I saw nothing. An empty husk of a man. No love, no passion. You were selfish and disrespectful but I saw light in your heart. It's there in all of us but sometimes we just need the right person to bring that light out into the world where it cam shine the brightest." Streams of tears rolled down my cheek. "I was an idiot. All those women I hurt, I swear I'll make right by them, even if it kills me!" She slandered a finger across my cheek to wipe the tears. "The path of redemption is often a hard one but at the end of it? Endless peace. I wish you luck, my dear David." Emotions I never knew I had were suddenly surfacing. "Why does it sound like you're leaving?" A smile formed on her face. "I have done my duty, live your life now as a true man." Out of the blue, the face of the goddess melted away to reveal her true form. Her beauty was blinding, I couldn't even describe it. "Live and die a happy man, David!" She placed a hand over my head and everything turned pitch black. 1 year later. I embrace Amber with all my might. I finally got the girl of my dreams. Her black hair, pointy nose and petite body were the things that I adored about her. The weirdest thing is I felt like I've seen her before in some distant past "Wanna come over to my house tonight?" She asked, a hint of lust in her voice. I laughed. "Sorry, but I stopped doing that a long time ago. Let's save that for after we're married." Amber looked a little disappointed but nodded. "Fine, you win." I gave her a little smooch and we continued our stroll trough the park. Nearby, the goddess, who was disguised as an old woman, lowered her newspaper. She was actually just eavesdropping. "Well, you know what they say about love," She said before vanishing.
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	The Goddess of Beauty, surprisingly humble in her charms Looks up at you with bundles of roses on her arms Face of no note, flower-adorned hair of plain coloration Yet in no time at all you feel adoration Every week you meet in a garden, surrounded by flowers Eating, laughing, wasting the day's hours Each morning you wake, heart filled with bliss Until one day you notice something amiss A small rash, intense in its itch Not something a bit of ointment can't fix You meet your goddess with usual ardor Has she become more beautiful than before? Time passes and you wait eagerly for you next meeting But your joy is suspended, excitement fleeting For upon the rash that once was red Grows a small bulb in its stead You show the Goddess, offering her your arm And she smiles, saying it means you no harm For this is a symbol of our love blooming So won't you give its roots a kind welcoming? This of you she asks, rosecheeks blushing gently Bewitched, you agree and leave it be Time continues and with each passing day The bulb grows and blooms and blossoms away A beautiful rose, like those of the Goddess' garden Stands curled around you arm, a miracle beholden Giddy and glowing, the Goddess' joy knows no bounds Even as the second, third, fifth flower comes 'round As you rush to the Goddess, body burdened by roses growing free You panic as your hands paw at the thorned stems futilely Yet when you arrive you cannot see her there Nothing but the garden where She once stood The roses tremble You dare to look down And there is the Goddess' perfect face And her flower crown And her golden hair And her full lips drawn Into a smile And she says As the flowers spread My dear, my love, Now we can be together, Forever	Rachel was a rather plain-looking woman. The kind you'd see on the street, or in a bar, and dismiss without a second thought. But she made herself distinct to me by making the first move. It was the early evening, and I was sitting at the bar, looking into a Bloody Mary. Zing-Zang's mix, my favorite brand; that crap Campbell's calls "V8 Bloody Mary mix" isn't worthy of the name. About halfway through, and I hear "Penny for your thoughts?" as she sat down next to me. "Way too cheap. Five bucks," I reply. "Dollar fifty, final offer." "Deal. Name's John." "I'm Rachel," she replied. "What's drinking you?" "Just trying to get out of my headspace for a while. Been a while since a leisure activity of mine didn't involve my computer desk." "Tell me about it. While everyone was on lockdown due to coronavirus, I put more time into Apex Legends than is physically possible." Hoo boy, was I glad I wasn't sipping my drink when she said that. Absolutely would've inhaled some of it on that line. Instead I gave a laugh and said, "Gamer? We might have something in common! I mostly do singleplayer or co-op, though." That was the beginning of a VERY long conversation. We both eventually had to go home, but before that we swapped phone numbers and added each other on Facebook. We talked, and talked, and talked. And the oddest thing...her looks never changed, but she constantly seemed to be getting more attractive. I am absolutely no expert in romance. I dated twice when I was young, and both relationships crashed and burned so badly, and solely due to me, that I swore off dating so I couldn't hurt someone again. But Rachel... I think I'm in love.
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	"I'm the goddess of love." The man blinked twice. "Sorry, I have bad hearing, can you run that by me again?" he replied. He'd heard of beer goggles, but at the moment he was wondering if there was such a thing as 'beer ears'. "You heard me," the blonde woman sitting next to him replied, swiveling her stool to face him with her sharp blue eyes, "seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. Love, lust, beauty, vanity - some go their whole lives without understanding any of it, but that's just because they haven't had a few thousand years like me." The woman next to him was not particularly unattractive. He could see himself being friends with such a girl, but to call herself a goddess of love and beauty was perhaps a bit much - her eyes were pretty, but she was rather plain, wearing no earrings, makeup, or a particularly low cut dress. Still, his brain was somewhat functional, and he knew that if he commented on something so superficial, he'd probably be eating his glass rather than drinking from it. "Alright," he said, prodded as much by curiosity as by disbelief, "if you're the goddess of love, can you prove it?" "What'll you give me?" She shot back. "What?" "What good is it to prove it?" she replied, "make it worth my while, and I'll show you that I'm the goddess of love." The man pondered for a moment, entertaining the idea of coming up with something that might please a goddess. "If you can genuinely convince me that you're the goddess of love, I will eat my shoe." "Hah, good enough," said the woman. She turned her seat completely around, looking out at the rest of the busy bar. "Alright, pick a woman in here, any woman." "Eh?" the man replied to the goddess, "uh, alright. By the door, blonde, black dress. The one that's talking to the dude who looks like he could bench press a bus." "Oh, that's an easy one, she's single." "What?" the man replied, "how do you figure? She looks gorgeous, she's bound to have a boyfriend." "Naw," replied the woman, "mascara, eyeshadow, acting bubbly and cheery, she's single and on the hunt. You want help with her?" "Oh no," the man said, recoiling, "that jacked dude she's talking to looks way too friendly with her, I'm not messing with that." "Oh, they are actually friends," said the woman, "He's gay and wingmaning for her, making sure weird dudes stay away from her. A real gentleman, though I guess that hurts your chances, doesn't it?" "You're just guessing," retorted the man. The goddess shrugged. "Ask her if you don't believe me. Now, give me a harder one." The man thought for a moment. "Back in the corner, in the booth. The one with the ponytail, across from the one in the blue shirt and jeans." "Well, that's more of a teal shirt, but yeah, the one you're talking about is taken. Teal girl is single though." The man raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure? Ponytail girl doesn't look very attractive. A little on the, er, rounded side, maybe not the prettiest face." "Bah! Hardly matters," replied the goddess, "while she may not fare up to your standards of beauty, she's got confidence and charisma, the kind of person who draws attention in more ways than just looks. Her face could be covered in bees, she'd still find a guy." "In other words, go for her friend." The goddess chuckled. "Her friend may be single, but not looking. Student focused on studies. Maybe if you were the right guy, but it wouldn't be for a few months." The man grumbled. He had no way of verifying any of this unless he up and asked any of these women. Suddenly, something caught his eye. "Over there, coming out of the bathroom - dark hair, freckles, deadpool shirt, and-" "You mean your sister?" chuckled the goddess, "you shouldn't need me to tell you that one." "No! I'm testing you here!" "I'm teasing," replied the goddess. "Lesbian, married, planning to adopt a kid but hasn't told your mother yet. Good enough?" The man raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, one last one," he said. "That one." The goddess smiled when she saw the man was pointing at her. "Oh?" she grinned, "are you asking if I, the goddess of love and beauty, is free to gallop around with some young man? You know, I'm a few millenia older than you." "If I'm going to be making noodle-and-shoe soup for myself tonight, I might as well try to enjoy it with someone interesting." She laughed. "I like a man who owns up to his promises. Then let's see you make the best shoe-soup this world has ever seen!" By the end of the night, the two had left the bar. True to his word, the man made a shoe-soup to uphold his end of the bet - while smartly ordering a takeout pizza for the two of them to share as they spent a more than interesting evening with each other.	Rachel was a rather plain-looking woman. The kind you'd see on the street, or in a bar, and dismiss without a second thought. But she made herself distinct to me by making the first move. It was the early evening, and I was sitting at the bar, looking into a Bloody Mary. Zing-Zang's mix, my favorite brand; that crap Campbell's calls "V8 Bloody Mary mix" isn't worthy of the name. About halfway through, and I hear "Penny for your thoughts?" as she sat down next to me. "Way too cheap. Five bucks," I reply. "Dollar fifty, final offer." "Deal. Name's John." "I'm Rachel," she replied. "What's drinking you?" "Just trying to get out of my headspace for a while. Been a while since a leisure activity of mine didn't involve my computer desk." "Tell me about it. While everyone was on lockdown due to coronavirus, I put more time into Apex Legends than is physically possible." Hoo boy, was I glad I wasn't sipping my drink when she said that. Absolutely would've inhaled some of it on that line. Instead I gave a laugh and said, "Gamer? We might have something in common! I mostly do singleplayer or co-op, though." That was the beginning of a VERY long conversation. We both eventually had to go home, but before that we swapped phone numbers and added each other on Facebook. We talked, and talked, and talked. And the oddest thing...her looks never changed, but she constantly seemed to be getting more attractive. I am absolutely no expert in romance. I dated twice when I was young, and both relationships crashed and burned so badly, and solely due to me, that I swore off dating so I couldn't hurt someone again. But Rachel... I think I'm in love.
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	"I'm the goddess of love." The man blinked twice. "Sorry, I have bad hearing, can you run that by me again?" he replied. He'd heard of beer goggles, but at the moment he was wondering if there was such a thing as 'beer ears'. "You heard me," the blonde woman sitting next to him replied, swiveling her stool to face him with her sharp blue eyes, "seen it, done it, got the T-shirt. Love, lust, beauty, vanity - some go their whole lives without understanding any of it, but that's just because they haven't had a few thousand years like me." The woman next to him was not particularly unattractive. He could see himself being friends with such a girl, but to call herself a goddess of love and beauty was perhaps a bit much - her eyes were pretty, but she was rather plain, wearing no earrings, makeup, or a particularly low cut dress. Still, his brain was somewhat functional, and he knew that if he commented on something so superficial, he'd probably be eating his glass rather than drinking from it. "Alright," he said, prodded as much by curiosity as by disbelief, "if you're the goddess of love, can you prove it?" "What'll you give me?" She shot back. "What?" "What good is it to prove it?" she replied, "make it worth my while, and I'll show you that I'm the goddess of love." The man pondered for a moment, entertaining the idea of coming up with something that might please a goddess. "If you can genuinely convince me that you're the goddess of love, I will eat my shoe." "Hah, good enough," said the woman. She turned her seat completely around, looking out at the rest of the busy bar. "Alright, pick a woman in here, any woman." "Eh?" the man replied to the goddess, "uh, alright. By the door, blonde, black dress. The one that's talking to the dude who looks like he could bench press a bus." "Oh, that's an easy one, she's single." "What?" the man replied, "how do you figure? She looks gorgeous, she's bound to have a boyfriend." "Naw," replied the woman, "mascara, eyeshadow, acting bubbly and cheery, she's single and on the hunt. You want help with her?" "Oh no," the man said, recoiling, "that jacked dude she's talking to looks way too friendly with her, I'm not messing with that." "Oh, they are actually friends," said the woman, "He's gay and wingmaning for her, making sure weird dudes stay away from her. A real gentleman, though I guess that hurts your chances, doesn't it?" "You're just guessing," retorted the man. The goddess shrugged. "Ask her if you don't believe me. Now, give me a harder one." The man thought for a moment. "Back in the corner, in the booth. The one with the ponytail, across from the one in the blue shirt and jeans." "Well, that's more of a teal shirt, but yeah, the one you're talking about is taken. Teal girl is single though." The man raised an eyebrow. "How do you figure? Ponytail girl doesn't look very attractive. A little on the, er, rounded side, maybe not the prettiest face." "Bah! Hardly matters," replied the goddess, "while she may not fare up to your standards of beauty, she's got confidence and charisma, the kind of person who draws attention in more ways than just looks. Her face could be covered in bees, she'd still find a guy." "In other words, go for her friend." The goddess chuckled. "Her friend may be single, but not looking. Student focused on studies. Maybe if you were the right guy, but it wouldn't be for a few months." The man grumbled. He had no way of verifying any of this unless he up and asked any of these women. Suddenly, something caught his eye. "Over there, coming out of the bathroom - dark hair, freckles, deadpool shirt, and-" "You mean your sister?" chuckled the goddess, "you shouldn't need me to tell you that one." "No! I'm testing you here!" "I'm teasing," replied the goddess. "Lesbian, married, planning to adopt a kid but hasn't told your mother yet. Good enough?" The man raised his hands in defeat. "Fine, one last one," he said. "That one." The goddess smiled when she saw the man was pointing at her. "Oh?" she grinned, "are you asking if I, the goddess of love and beauty, is free to gallop around with some young man? You know, I'm a few millenia older than you." "If I'm going to be making noodle-and-shoe soup for myself tonight, I might as well try to enjoy it with someone interesting." She laughed. "I like a man who owns up to his promises. Then let's see you make the best shoe-soup this world has ever seen!" By the end of the night, the two had left the bar. True to his word, the man made a shoe-soup to uphold his end of the bet - while smartly ordering a takeout pizza for the two of them to share as they spent a more than interesting evening with each other.	The Goddess of Beauty, surprisingly humble in her charms Looks up at you with bundles of roses on her arms Face of no note, flower-adorned hair of plain coloration Yet in no time at all you feel adoration Every week you meet in a garden, surrounded by flowers Eating, laughing, wasting the day's hours Each morning you wake, heart filled with bliss Until one day you notice something amiss A small rash, intense in its itch Not something a bit of ointment can't fix You meet your goddess with usual ardor Has she become more beautiful than before? Time passes and you wait eagerly for you next meeting But your joy is suspended, excitement fleeting For upon the rash that once was red Grows a small bulb in its stead You show the Goddess, offering her your arm And she smiles, saying it means you no harm For this is a symbol of our love blooming So won't you give its roots a kind welcoming? This of you she asks, rosecheeks blushing gently Bewitched, you agree and leave it be Time continues and with each passing day The bulb grows and blooms and blossoms away A beautiful rose, like those of the Goddess' garden Stands curled around you arm, a miracle beholden Giddy and glowing, the Goddess' joy knows no bounds Even as the second, third, fifth flower comes 'round As you rush to the Goddess, body burdened by roses growing free You panic as your hands paw at the thorned stems futilely Yet when you arrive you cannot see her there Nothing but the garden where She once stood The roses tremble You dare to look down And there is the Goddess' perfect face And her flower crown And her golden hair And her full lips drawn Into a smile And she says As the flowers spread My dear, my love, Now we can be together, Forever
[WP] You meet the goddess of love and beauty, but she's not exactly what you expected. Instead of abundant beauty, she just seems normal and kind of boring. But as you get to know her, she starts to grow on you...	Knock knock knock Amy was staring up at the ceiling at eleven o'clock in the morning. Her plan today was to remain that way until she had to eat or go to the bathroom. She did not want to get up and open the door for anyone. Especially if it was her. Knockknockknock "I'M COMING! Bitch." Amy marched to her front door and yanked open the door. "I'm not taking- huh?" Before her was not her ex, but a remarkably plain woman. She was extremely petite, average height and wore very bland clothes. "Can I come in? A storm's about to blow in and I can't get home." She even sounded plain. "Uh, sure. Come in." . . . The plain woman sat down on the sofa, accepting a soda offered by Amy, who sat on the opposite end of the couch. "So why did you ask some random stranger to let you in? Weren't you worried about, I dunno, anything?" "No. I knew you were harmless." "Why? Were you stalking me or somethin'?" "Well you see," The woman paused to take a sip from the soda. "I'm the goddess of love." She said it so casually, like it was an office job title. It took Amy a couple of seconds to register what she just said. And once she did register it, her protective nature took over. "Are you ok?! Did you hit your head before you got here? Do I need to call an ambulance?" "Calm yourself, Amy." "How do you know my name?!" . . . "So, there's a dimension of heaven?" "Yes." "And you fell from it?" "Yes." "And your the goddess of love, so you knew I just went through a nasty breakup and came to me to get help?" "Yes and yes." "Wow, um, ok. This is..." "Heavy?" "Sure." Amy fell back into the couch, the information that was just relayed on to her literally weighing her down. The woman, or rather the goddess, scooted over so she could put a hand on her shoulder. "It's ok. That's a lot to take in. And I don't have to stay if you wa-" "No, it's ok. You can stay. As long as you help pay the rent." Amy finished with a joke to try and lighten the mood a little. "Sure, I'll start looking for work tomorrow." "I-I was kidding." "No. If I'm to live here, I should earn it." ... Three months later... "Aphy! I'm home!" "In the kitchen." While it was a little strange to have the goddess of love as her roommate at first, Amy got used to it. Turns out that she was a fantastic woman, despite her plainness. The one thing that certainly wasn't plain about her was her tremendous cooking. "What's for dinner, Aphy?" "Gnocchi." "Aw, sweet!" "Savory." The two of them got along great. As part of their nightly routine, they are dinner while discussing the joys and stresses of their jobs. As Aphy rambled a about her 'over stimulating' office job, Amy started to feel something... Strange. It was feeling she hadn't experienced in a while, not since her. 'No. Not again. She's just a friend, Amy. Just a friend.' "You ok, Ames?" "Oh? Yeah. Just staring off. Wait, Ames?" "Is that an ok nickname? I thought it might suit you." "Sure, it's fine." Amy realized that she didn't care about the nickname's connotations anymore. Maybe, just maybe, she thought, she was free. -________ I guess this is my first romance? How did I do? How can I improve? Please let me know, as critique is my main source of sustance until my grocery store restocks. And you can find more of my stories at r/DrabblesfromtheHerald	Her name was Jess. She wasn't the smartest, the prettiest, the wittiest. In fact, she seemed completely plain- studied nursing, went to church, played softball. We first met in chemistry lab. I waved a nervy greeting. "Hello, I'm Jacob." "Um, I'm Jess." Her hand wavered, and she unclasped the beaker. "Oh my, sorry. My bad, I just..." And her eyes caught onto me, stuck, lost in space and time. We reached for the same broken shard. "My bad," I implored. We both pulled inwards. The fragment split, and the backlash drove the edges into our fingers. We bled the same red. "Hey, I can take care of you." She held my hand, and applied a bandage to my wound. She kissed it. I took her hands, and pulled her closer to me. I placed my hand around her neck, and felt her every breath. "You're a goddess." &nbsp; "I'm a goddess." I place my hand around his neck, and feel his every breath. I take his hands, and pull him closer to me. I kiss his lips. He takes my heart, and promises to mend it. "Hey, I can take care of you". We bleed the same red. But then, our lives split, and the backlash drive us away from each other. We both pull inwards. "My bad", I implore. We reach back, for the same broken shard. His eyes catch onto mine, stuck, lost in space and time. "Oh my, sorry. My bad, I just..." His hand wavers, and he unclasps me. "Um, I'm sorry." "I'm sorry too." I wave a nervy farewell. We meet for the last time in chemistry lab. He seems fine- goes to classes, goes to church, plays football. He isn't the smartest, the handsomest, the wittiest. His name is Jacob.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	AUGUST 2015 "AHHH, Man, everytime we play this game you wanna go and rage quit on me!" Luci balks. He hits pause. "Look, Luci, it's always nice getting together again and playing this with you, but I have things to do, you know?" Said the Almighty one. "You're just mad because I'm winning, all of humanity is almost mine!" Said Luci. "Yes you are winning and if we stop now, you would certainly have won, isn't that enough?" Asked the Almighty. "What have you got to do anyway? Hmmm? Create another game? Another world, another separate set of storylines?" Asked Luci. "Exactly," said the Almighty. "I mean aren't you bored with this one?" "Not at all," said Lucifer, indignantly. "This is my absolute favorite because it's the only one I've never won, not entirely." Luci resumes the game, he chooses an action that the Almighty never saw coming and thwarts off the asteroid He had sent plunging to Earth. "Haha! Gotcha! How do you like me now? Hmmm?" Luci gloats. "Ugh, can we just come back to it in a few days?" Asks the Almighty, and then adds, "I'm starving and I really do need to get back to my new game I'm developing." Lucifer agrees and they leave the console getting back to their duties, the Almighty creating the games, and Luci testing them. Present Day 2020 "Man, really dude? REALLY? A virus? Started in China? Fires in Australia, what else ya got?" Yells Luci. "Come on we been playing this for eons, man, why don't you gracefully accept the win, and let me decimate this game? It's been fun, had a good run, whatever, you always stop me, but I don't understand why?" Luci turns to the Almighty and says "Listen, I always take the villain because I want to believe in goodness somewhere, that even I can be redeemed, but I always play it fair, I just wanted to see you win, I just wanted to know that there's still good somewhere, besides, you of course." "Well, making them believe they have eternal souls and there's eternal damnation, and still they refuse to be good." Said the Almighty, "It was a good idea, but it didn't work, they have no faith, and honestly, who can blame them, they're never going to get what was promised. They're just simply a set of pixels, and perimeters, they are nothing." He then pushes the buttons to launch the nuclear missiles of each country, one by one, against the other, the world is annihilated. End Game is displayed on the screen. And the Almighty takes his leave.	It all turned on May 28th 2016. The world who survived took a plunge for that day was when the baseline of parenting was set to a new low that reversed all those that made the world survived. But that wasn't it, when the world should have learned the price of irresponsible parents can even cost an innocent life, it became a realisation that you don't need to care because you are always innocent, blameless for you a human. A privilege that all of us are not equals and some are more than others. That was the lesson that made us forsake those who are in need for our own profit. A simple truth that we can avoid responsibility simply because we can. Not always but more than enough to turn the world to its own demise. A senseless death.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Dark clouds loomed overhead, rain threatening to spill from the sky. It was the 2020 Annual Council of Demons, where Lucifer briefed his closest circle of demons on his plans for the year. 'Why hasn't the old man carried out my grand plan yet?' Lucifer sneered. It had been 5 years since he put his plan into action, to pollute the world with so much evil that God himself would destroy it, thus sending all the wretched souls to hell to join his ranks. What was earth to God, anyway- there were a million other planets in the universe, with creatures more intelligent and worthy of God's time. Over the years, the sins he spread throughout the world were so great that the sin-o-meter in hell broke a dozen times in a day, while the holy-o-meter in heaven was dismally empty that they had it sent for frequent repairs but to no avail. 'Any updates from heaven, Leirbag?' Lucifer asked Leirbag, who was the liaison between heaven and hell. 'The same as the previous years, master. God had put into action his plan to end the world, but he withdrew during the last critical moment again.' Leirbag answered. 'And what was his plan in 2019?' Lucifer asked, rubbing his hands together. 'He sent his angels down to start a great fire that can't be put out by man, to end the world in smoke and flames.' said Leirbag, projecting the visuals on the wall. 'Wonderful! And what happened after?' Lucifer asked, pacing up and down the Great hall. 'It was the third month of the eternal fire burning, and half of the world was up in flames by then. One morning, the flames were suddenly gone, with only charred remains to prove it once existed. Only God's revoking of his own order could have such immediate effect.' Lierbag explained, while the rest of the council nodded in assent. 'Why would God revoke his order, and for the 5th time at that?' Garseling, the chief sin sower, questioned. The hall was abuzz with conversation, speculating about God's reasons for his change of heart. 'Silence please, my dear sirs.' Lucifer rapped his knuckles on the table, once again at the front of the hall. 'We have never been able to understand the old man's irrational decisions and ridiculous rules, but we know what ticks him off best and coincidentally, that's what we do best as well. So for the year 2020, let's use our demonic creativity to come up with shiny new sins that will catch his eye, and push him to the brink of exterminating the world!' Lucifer roared with conviction, causing the council to shout in agreement, banging their fists 'Exterminate the world!' Meanwhile, in heaven, the archangels gathered around the throne of God, waiting to receive his command. 'It is time to rid the world of sin and the suffering it brings, Lord' Onemus, the angel of judgement, declared. 'But Lord, doth not mercy adorn your robes, and is this world not the creation of your hands?' Phillip, the angel of peace, pleaded. For the past 5 years, since hell decided to wage a proxy war on heaven, the angels have been arguing and taking sides, Pro-destruction and anti-destruction. God, wearied by the fighting in his courts and the sin in the world, decided that 2020 would no longer be a year for his angels to settle their differences. 2020 would be HIS year.	It all turned on May 28th 2016. The world who survived took a plunge for that day was when the baseline of parenting was set to a new low that reversed all those that made the world survived. But that wasn't it, when the world should have learned the price of irresponsible parents can even cost an innocent life, it became a realisation that you don't need to care because you are always innocent, blameless for you a human. A privilege that all of us are not equals and some are more than others. That was the lesson that made us forsake those who are in need for our own profit. A simple truth that we can avoid responsibility simply because we can. Not always but more than enough to turn the world to its own demise. A senseless death.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	God stood, calculating his next attack. Jesus stood by his, worried about the fate of humanity. The angels stood, ready to do whatever God needed. "Dad," Jesus said, "Are you sure you want to do this?" God nodded. "This time I'll actually do it. They've strayed too far from the path. I fear there will be much worse to come by human hands if I don't end them with mine now." God turned to his angels. "We'll end them how we ended the dinosaurs. Send a giant asteroid their way. Make it land in half a year and make sure it's big enough to destroy everything. No one can survive." They angels nodded and went off to fulfill their lords commands. Jesus sighed and turned towards God. "They know not what they're doing. Why can't you spare them?" "I told you, son, they've gone too far from the path. They are murderers, thieves, abusers, and everything else. They must be stopped." Jesus nodded. There wasn't much more he could do, but he knew God would change his mind soon enough. God walked away to his computer. He would view the humans last few months. He wanted to see their reactions, their fear, maybe their content. Maybe they would even change their ways and be kinder. As God was going through, watching each human, he stumbled upon a boy. The boy was almost five years old. He had small blue eyes, rosy cheeks, brown hair, and a cute button nose. He was laughing and playing four square with a few other kids. Each time the ball strayed, he would run to get it so others didn't have to. Anytime someone was upset they got out, he would console them and offer his spot. He was the sweetest little boy anyone had known. His name was Benjamin. He was born the day God had first tried to destroy Earth. He had been abandoned by his parents and sent to an orphanage. God loved the child and each time he tried to destroy Earth, he would stop. His love for this little boy was greater than his hate for sinful humans. God shook his head and sighed. "Angels, stop the asteroid project."	It all turned on May 28th 2016. The world who survived took a plunge for that day was when the baseline of parenting was set to a new low that reversed all those that made the world survived. But that wasn't it, when the world should have learned the price of irresponsible parents can even cost an innocent life, it became a realisation that you don't need to care because you are always innocent, blameless for you a human. A privilege that all of us are not equals and some are more than others. That was the lesson that made us forsake those who are in need for our own profit. A simple truth that we can avoid responsibility simply because we can. Not always but more than enough to turn the world to its own demise. A senseless death.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Why are you delaying so much? Humans are developing powerful weapons, their greed will eventually destroy everything. You know this, their destiny will lead earth to its end. Just give me the permission..." God smiled and replied: "Do you remember Alessandro Serenelli?" "You mean that guy who killed Maria Goretti?" "Yes. Rape attempt, after he failed, he killed Maria at cold blood. When the police catched him, he show no remorse, every human wouldn't think twice to condemn him as a hopeless devil cursed to be thrown in hell! But he changed, he dedicate the rest of his life to regret his errors. I keep thinking, there are hundreds of humans who are trash, despicable people. I could end their existence who bring despair for so many people; but then I think about that human; she is depressed and think about killing herself all the time, however one part of her can relate to others, even inside deep sadness, she always remember her family and that is delaying her "inevitable ending". Will she get over her problems? I could end this world, but then how many people would lose their chances of changing his future and becoming better? I will give them more time, one year, one decade; maybe one century." "It will be the same! nothing will change and you will see it. Human kind is your worst mistake. You will see it! Again and again they will fail. Give them 100 years, then you will see how evil they are." "Sounds like a bet? You remember how the last time ended for you." "Bring on old man, I will prevail over humans."	It all turned on May 28th 2016. The world who survived took a plunge for that day was when the baseline of parenting was set to a new low that reversed all those that made the world survived. But that wasn't it, when the world should have learned the price of irresponsible parents can even cost an innocent life, it became a realisation that you don't need to care because you are always innocent, blameless for you a human. A privilege that all of us are not equals and some are more than others. That was the lesson that made us forsake those who are in need for our own profit. A simple truth that we can avoid responsibility simply because we can. Not always but more than enough to turn the world to its own demise. A senseless death.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	God stood, calculating his next attack. Jesus stood by his, worried about the fate of humanity. The angels stood, ready to do whatever God needed. "Dad," Jesus said, "Are you sure you want to do this?" God nodded. "This time I'll actually do it. They've strayed too far from the path. I fear there will be much worse to come by human hands if I don't end them with mine now." God turned to his angels. "We'll end them how we ended the dinosaurs. Send a giant asteroid their way. Make it land in half a year and make sure it's big enough to destroy everything. No one can survive." They angels nodded and went off to fulfill their lords commands. Jesus sighed and turned towards God. "They know not what they're doing. Why can't you spare them?" "I told you, son, they've gone too far from the path. They are murderers, thieves, abusers, and everything else. They must be stopped." Jesus nodded. There wasn't much more he could do, but he knew God would change his mind soon enough. God walked away to his computer. He would view the humans last few months. He wanted to see their reactions, their fear, maybe their content. Maybe they would even change their ways and be kinder. As God was going through, watching each human, he stumbled upon a boy. The boy was almost five years old. He had small blue eyes, rosy cheeks, brown hair, and a cute button nose. He was laughing and playing four square with a few other kids. Each time the ball strayed, he would run to get it so others didn't have to. Anytime someone was upset they got out, he would console them and offer his spot. He was the sweetest little boy anyone had known. His name was Benjamin. He was born the day God had first tried to destroy Earth. He had been abandoned by his parents and sent to an orphanage. God loved the child and each time he tried to destroy Earth, he would stop. His love for this little boy was greater than his hate for sinful humans. God shook his head and sighed. "Angels, stop the asteroid project."	AUGUST 2015 "AHHH, Man, everytime we play this game you wanna go and rage quit on me!" Luci balks. He hits pause. "Look, Luci, it's always nice getting together again and playing this with you, but I have things to do, you know?" Said the Almighty one. "You're just mad because I'm winning, all of humanity is almost mine!" Said Luci. "Yes you are winning and if we stop now, you would certainly have won, isn't that enough?" Asked the Almighty. "What have you got to do anyway? Hmmm? Create another game? Another world, another separate set of storylines?" Asked Luci. "Exactly," said the Almighty. "I mean aren't you bored with this one?" "Not at all," said Lucifer, indignantly. "This is my absolute favorite because it's the only one I've never won, not entirely." Luci resumes the game, he chooses an action that the Almighty never saw coming and thwarts off the asteroid He had sent plunging to Earth. "Haha! Gotcha! How do you like me now? Hmmm?" Luci gloats. "Ugh, can we just come back to it in a few days?" Asks the Almighty, and then adds, "I'm starving and I really do need to get back to my new game I'm developing." Lucifer agrees and they leave the console getting back to their duties, the Almighty creating the games, and Luci testing them. Present Day 2020 "Man, really dude? REALLY? A virus? Started in China? Fires in Australia, what else ya got?" Yells Luci. "Come on we been playing this for eons, man, why don't you gracefully accept the win, and let me decimate this game? It's been fun, had a good run, whatever, you always stop me, but I don't understand why?" Luci turns to the Almighty and says "Listen, I always take the villain because I want to believe in goodness somewhere, that even I can be redeemed, but I always play it fair, I just wanted to see you win, I just wanted to know that there's still good somewhere, besides, you of course." "Well, making them believe they have eternal souls and there's eternal damnation, and still they refuse to be good." Said the Almighty, "It was a good idea, but it didn't work, they have no faith, and honestly, who can blame them, they're never going to get what was promised. They're just simply a set of pixels, and perimeters, they are nothing." He then pushes the buttons to launch the nuclear missiles of each country, one by one, against the other, the world is annihilated. End Game is displayed on the screen. And the Almighty takes his leave.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Why are you delaying so much? Humans are developing powerful weapons, their greed will eventually destroy everything. You know this, their destiny will lead earth to its end. Just give me the permission..." God smiled and replied: "Do you remember Alessandro Serenelli?" "You mean that guy who killed Maria Goretti?" "Yes. Rape attempt, after he failed, he killed Maria at cold blood. When the police catched him, he show no remorse, every human wouldn't think twice to condemn him as a hopeless devil cursed to be thrown in hell! But he changed, he dedicate the rest of his life to regret his errors. I keep thinking, there are hundreds of humans who are trash, despicable people. I could end their existence who bring despair for so many people; but then I think about that human; she is depressed and think about killing herself all the time, however one part of her can relate to others, even inside deep sadness, she always remember her family and that is delaying her "inevitable ending". Will she get over her problems? I could end this world, but then how many people would lose their chances of changing his future and becoming better? I will give them more time, one year, one decade; maybe one century." "It will be the same! nothing will change and you will see it. Human kind is your worst mistake. You will see it! Again and again they will fail. Give them 100 years, then you will see how evil they are." "Sounds like a bet? You remember how the last time ended for you." "Bring on old man, I will prevail over humans."	AUGUST 2015 "AHHH, Man, everytime we play this game you wanna go and rage quit on me!" Luci balks. He hits pause. "Look, Luci, it's always nice getting together again and playing this with you, but I have things to do, you know?" Said the Almighty one. "You're just mad because I'm winning, all of humanity is almost mine!" Said Luci. "Yes you are winning and if we stop now, you would certainly have won, isn't that enough?" Asked the Almighty. "What have you got to do anyway? Hmmm? Create another game? Another world, another separate set of storylines?" Asked Luci. "Exactly," said the Almighty. "I mean aren't you bored with this one?" "Not at all," said Lucifer, indignantly. "This is my absolute favorite because it's the only one I've never won, not entirely." Luci resumes the game, he chooses an action that the Almighty never saw coming and thwarts off the asteroid He had sent plunging to Earth. "Haha! Gotcha! How do you like me now? Hmmm?" Luci gloats. "Ugh, can we just come back to it in a few days?" Asks the Almighty, and then adds, "I'm starving and I really do need to get back to my new game I'm developing." Lucifer agrees and they leave the console getting back to their duties, the Almighty creating the games, and Luci testing them. Present Day 2020 "Man, really dude? REALLY? A virus? Started in China? Fires in Australia, what else ya got?" Yells Luci. "Come on we been playing this for eons, man, why don't you gracefully accept the win, and let me decimate this game? It's been fun, had a good run, whatever, you always stop me, but I don't understand why?" Luci turns to the Almighty and says "Listen, I always take the villain because I want to believe in goodness somewhere, that even I can be redeemed, but I always play it fair, I just wanted to see you win, I just wanted to know that there's still good somewhere, besides, you of course." "Well, making them believe they have eternal souls and there's eternal damnation, and still they refuse to be good." Said the Almighty, "It was a good idea, but it didn't work, they have no faith, and honestly, who can blame them, they're never going to get what was promised. They're just simply a set of pixels, and perimeters, they are nothing." He then pushes the buttons to launch the nuclear missiles of each country, one by one, against the other, the world is annihilated. End Game is displayed on the screen. And the Almighty takes his leave.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Nothing exists without another. Light and dark, love and hatred, creation and destruction. Brother and sister. &#x200B; Elohim and Abaddonne knew not from where they came, only that their birth was simultaneous and that they loved and feared each other as only twins can do. Abaddonne, restless, reached into the void and pulled forth a blaze of celestial glory. In this first and most magnificent of supernovae, the universe was born and it pleased the twins. Elohim, in awe of his sister who had created something from nothing, was content to wander at first. When he had seen all that Abaddonne had done, he asked her if he might bring order to her creation. Although she was afraid, Abaddonne saw that the universe was in chaos and needed tending, so she smiled at her brother and stepped back. For millennia, Elohim passed through worlds and galaxies, nudging where he deemed it helpful. He missed Abaddonne’s company, though, and one place in particular was especially intriguing to him. He thought that with the right encouragement, this planet’s beings could gain language and thus provide the companionship he craved. He knew that he could return to Abaddonne, but Elohim was not satisfied with the degree of order in the universe and would not return until he had arranged it to his liking. With a nudge here and a prod there, Elohim nurtured the evolution of the beings on his favorite planet until they were sentient, just as he had hoped. He began to reveal himself to them, and when they praised him and called him Creator, he did not correct them. Order is creation, he thought. Eventually though, Elohim tired of the creatures, who offered only praise and fear. He missed Abaddone. Finally, he decided that the time had come to finish his arrangements and return to his sister. Elohim began organizing with fervor, putting things to rights. Watching from beyond, Abaddonne knew the time for reunion was coming near. She watched as across the innumerable galaxies, orderliness gave way to militant bureaucracy. Creativity withered where it had once bloomed, and despair crept into the hearts of living creatures. Elohim, in his eagerness, had gone too far. The balance had tipped. As birth belongs to the void, so does death. Abaddonne felt the time drawing near and reached out her arms to reclaim the world she had created in order to crush it with merciful swiftness so that it could begin anew, in the celestial cycle. She had always known that death was the price of life. Elohim, having sensed nothing from his sister in eons, felt her great gathering up, and it stoked a hot rage inside him. No, he said. Not yet. Brother. It is time. Elohim was so close to realizing his vision. He could see the future, and that future was peaceful. Static. A universe perfectly organized with each atom in its own place, far from all others. Cold, dark and perfect. Elohim knew that if Abaddonne were allowed to have her way, he would be forced to start over, and he decided the time had come to fight for the future. First, life, which defied entropy, needed to go. Elohim in his fury descended upon the sentient planets, leaving plague and disaster in his wake. Ravaged, the creatures on Elohim’s favorite planet beseeched their creator to show mercy. Abaddonne, whose heart was breaking, took pity on the creatures and did the impossible – she left the void to dive into her own self, into her creation, to stay her brother’s hand. Again and again, Elohim struck. Over and over, Abaddonne softened the blow. The twins are locked in a struggle that will determine the future of everything and are keeping each other at bay. For now.	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Why are you delaying so much? Humans are developing powerful weapons, their greed will eventually destroy everything. You know this, their destiny will lead earth to its end. Just give me the permission..." God smiled and replied: "Do you remember Alessandro Serenelli?" "You mean that guy who killed Maria Goretti?" "Yes. Rape attempt, after he failed, he killed Maria at cold blood. When the police catched him, he show no remorse, every human wouldn't think twice to condemn him as a hopeless devil cursed to be thrown in hell! But he changed, he dedicate the rest of his life to regret his errors. I keep thinking, there are hundreds of humans who are trash, despicable people. I could end their existence who bring despair for so many people; but then I think about that human; she is depressed and think about killing herself all the time, however one part of her can relate to others, even inside deep sadness, she always remember her family and that is delaying her "inevitable ending". Will she get over her problems? I could end this world, but then how many people would lose their chances of changing his future and becoming better? I will give them more time, one year, one decade; maybe one century." "It will be the same! nothing will change and you will see it. Human kind is your worst mistake. You will see it! Again and again they will fail. Give them 100 years, then you will see how evil they are." "Sounds like a bet? You remember how the last time ended for you." "Bring on old man, I will prevail over humans."	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Natural 20!" Peter chortled with glee. "FINE" God harumphed "the four horsemen fail to notice the thin silver wire or the rods of supreme holding hidden behind either side of the gate. As their horses barrel past" Four dice are rolled in succession, his face grimmer with each passing roll."They are flung off the edges of heaven and begin to tumble down, and down, and yet further down. To the very pits of hell." Peter turns to Gabriel with a wide grin "now who's the idiot?" Gabriel's only response is some muffled complaint about "not all of us can get stupid lucky every dang time the DM says "you can certainly try"". God stands up from the shining silver table collecting his bags and dice with a fuming silence broke with "What a way to R U I N a brilliant story before it even starts, we'll end here tonight as I re-plan AN ENTIRE CAMPAIGN AGAIN. PETER." the silver halls shaking with his frustration. A literal stormy exit is followed by the echo of Jesus' voice "Now we'll never get that sick sword off of Rage".	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Just following orders" I'd watched the humans long enough, I knew they had a term for people who used that as a defence. I'd watched these humans for millennia. I'd seen their saints and their sinners, their wars and their aid missions. Read their [stories](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Good_Omens)... >And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. Angels... angels lacked quite that spark. We couldn't defy a direct order from the very highest authority, we didn't have the will to directly go against the chain of command... we're not made that way... not since... that one time. I had my orders. I couldn't just not carry them out. A list of plagues to be inflicted on the humans, to whittle them down and leave the world empty for some other creation. But I didn't want them to be lost to the universe. But... there was one way... maybe.... my orders said nothing about the order of the plagues we were to inflict. A plagues of hail, fire, locusts, boils, floods, darkness, death, blood, lice, frogs and flies. And if I got it just right.... first the [plague of locusts](https://www.jpost.com/International/Swarms-of-locusts-expected-to-plague-Africa-and-Middle-East-UN-group-says-621384), then [kill the locusts with the hail](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/f7g85v/hailstones_causing_locusts_to_drop_dead_out_of/), the plague of death... the last time... the last time it targeted firstborn children but my orders said nothing about who it had to target... then by the time the plague of boils strike everyone will have isolated themselves restricting the spread. With most people inside, then the plagues of lice and flies quickly followed by the plague of frogs to eat them. The plague of locusts will have damaged crops so then I can send the plague of blood and floods to fertilise the farmland and wash away most of the frogs. The plague of fire, slowly heating the world, then the plague of darkness, a cloud of dust in between the world and the sun to cool it... I couldn't defy my orders.... but even angels have a certain leeway...	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	“Was I wrong Gabriel?” “Wrong about what?” Gabriel answered God, uncertain as to what he meant. “In creating them.” He answered. “Do you remember when the rivers flowed freely? When they weren’t overrun with death and contamination?” God continued “Or when we could stand on this mound at night and see all the other constellations of all the other Gods so clearly? They were so clear Gabriel" he said with almost no hope left in his voice. The question hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. The wind howled and hissed through the trees, as if to frighten the very thought of the question off. “I do" the angel informed him. “ I remember it so clearly too. We stood on this mound the very first night you created Earth, in awe of the beauty that was at our fingertips.” “It isn’t the same place anymore.” Gabriel admitted. “But nor are we the same as we were then.” The thought of this weighed heavy on God's shoulders. He, the celestial, the almighty and the all powerful, struggled with the burden of this truth. Because it was the unfortunate truth, something that he hadn’t considered it to be ever before. “We cared far more back then" he admitted. “We did" concurred Gabriel. “They’re not monsters. There’s evil amongst them sure, but they’re not intrinsically so. They’re flawed, yes. As is their creator.” God's closest friend informed him. God watched as the sun began to set fire to the horizon. The deep eternal blue of the sky slowly set ablaze with smouldering red and molten orange. How beautiful this world he created still is, God thought. As he watched the embers of red slowly cool to black in the evening sky, a second thought overwhelmed him. A great calm had now fallen softly upon the hillside. A calm that was not felt in the mind of God. Images of war and famine flashed before the great deity's eyes. Soon the cries of animals burning in man-made fires and children crying for help echoed in a great cacophony of sadness through his ears. God the Almighty was overcome with the sorrow and anger felt by all the people and beings he had ever created. Soon enough he thought there to be only one solution; “I have to rid this planet of them. I must. There is no other way.” “There is no doubt that they have been a plague on this planet for quite some time. But, are we any better if we simply abandon them now at their greatest hour of need? After we alone created them.” Gabriel shared his belief with God. Yet, God was unsure if he felt the same way. Surely they weren’t to blame for this great mess before them? They had no control over the infinite cruelty of men. As he tussled and turned with the thoughts that ricocheted through his mind, the great calm upon that hill was interrupted by the faintest of sounds. A single high-pitched chirp and the soft flutter of tiny wings emerged from the tree line. The small red breast of a robin settled down gently upon the shoulder of God. He carefully lifted it from his shoulder with the tip of his index finger and observed the tiny being ever so slowly. He noticed that one of its wings had been injured, and mended. Mended by no other than human hands. It was the smallest and briefest of occurrences. Yet, the gentle flutter of the robins wings were strong enough to ward off even the greatest of plagues. “Perhaps, we shall give them one more chance.” God whispered to Gabriel. The angel smiled the most subtle and beautiful of smiles. Then turned to the sky, to gaze upon the constellations of stars he could still see from the mound.	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	A mother’s sonnet in the days of corona What waits inside the golden yolk The daisy chain as yet unbroken Her shining face, parted lips that spoke Echoes half-remembered, this dream we woke in Still shining in the dying light Discarded garland not meant to frighten But when recovered from this blight Who will remain to be enlightened Green shoots unfurl from ‘neath cold soil She toils in labor, unwitnessed, boiling New halo of ringlets, he cries and uncoils From burning breast they must recoil Though we cry out still seeking absolution Our glorious orb yet turns. A revolution.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Why are you delaying so much? Humans are developing powerful weapons, their greed will eventually destroy everything. You know this, their destiny will lead earth to its end. Just give me the permission..." God smiled and replied: "Do you remember Alessandro Serenelli?" "You mean that guy who killed Maria Goretti?" "Yes. Rape attempt, after he failed, he killed Maria at cold blood. When the police catched him, he show no remorse, every human wouldn't think twice to condemn him as a hopeless devil cursed to be thrown in hell! But he changed, he dedicate the rest of his life to regret his errors. I keep thinking, there are hundreds of humans who are trash, despicable people. I could end their existence who bring despair for so many people; but then I think about that human; she is depressed and think about killing herself all the time, however one part of her can relate to others, even inside deep sadness, she always remember her family and that is delaying her "inevitable ending". Will she get over her problems? I could end this world, but then how many people would lose their chances of changing his future and becoming better? I will give them more time, one year, one decade; maybe one century." "It will be the same! nothing will change and you will see it. Human kind is your worst mistake. You will see it! Again and again they will fail. Give them 100 years, then you will see how evil they are." "Sounds like a bet? You remember how the last time ended for you." "Bring on old man, I will prevail over humans."	Dark clouds loomed overhead, rain threatening to spill from the sky. It was the 2020 Annual Council of Demons, where Lucifer briefed his closest circle of demons on his plans for the year. 'Why hasn't the old man carried out my grand plan yet?' Lucifer sneered. It had been 5 years since he put his plan into action, to pollute the world with so much evil that God himself would destroy it, thus sending all the wretched souls to hell to join his ranks. What was earth to God, anyway- there were a million other planets in the universe, with creatures more intelligent and worthy of God's time. Over the years, the sins he spread throughout the world were so great that the sin-o-meter in hell broke a dozen times in a day, while the holy-o-meter in heaven was dismally empty that they had it sent for frequent repairs but to no avail. 'Any updates from heaven, Leirbag?' Lucifer asked Leirbag, who was the liaison between heaven and hell. 'The same as the previous years, master. God had put into action his plan to end the world, but he withdrew during the last critical moment again.' Leirbag answered. 'And what was his plan in 2019?' Lucifer asked, rubbing his hands together. 'He sent his angels down to start a great fire that can't be put out by man, to end the world in smoke and flames.' said Leirbag, projecting the visuals on the wall. 'Wonderful! And what happened after?' Lucifer asked, pacing up and down the Great hall. 'It was the third month of the eternal fire burning, and half of the world was up in flames by then. One morning, the flames were suddenly gone, with only charred remains to prove it once existed. Only God's revoking of his own order could have such immediate effect.' Lierbag explained, while the rest of the council nodded in assent. 'Why would God revoke his order, and for the 5th time at that?' Garseling, the chief sin sower, questioned. The hall was abuzz with conversation, speculating about God's reasons for his change of heart. 'Silence please, my dear sirs.' Lucifer rapped his knuckles on the table, once again at the front of the hall. 'We have never been able to understand the old man's irrational decisions and ridiculous rules, but we know what ticks him off best and coincidentally, that's what we do best as well. So for the year 2020, let's use our demonic creativity to come up with shiny new sins that will catch his eye, and push him to the brink of exterminating the world!' Lucifer roared with conviction, causing the council to shout in agreement, banging their fists 'Exterminate the world!' Meanwhile, in heaven, the archangels gathered around the throne of God, waiting to receive his command. 'It is time to rid the world of sin and the suffering it brings, Lord' Onemus, the angel of judgement, declared. 'But Lord, doth not mercy adorn your robes, and is this world not the creation of your hands?' Phillip, the angel of peace, pleaded. For the past 5 years, since hell decided to wage a proxy war on heaven, the angels have been arguing and taking sides, Pro-destruction and anti-destruction. God, wearied by the fighting in his courts and the sin in the world, decided that 2020 would no longer be a year for his angels to settle their differences. 2020 would be HIS year.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Natural 20!" Peter chortled with glee. "FINE" God harumphed "the four horsemen fail to notice the thin silver wire or the rods of supreme holding hidden behind either side of the gate. As their horses barrel past" Four dice are rolled in succession, his face grimmer with each passing roll."They are flung off the edges of heaven and begin to tumble down, and down, and yet further down. To the very pits of hell." Peter turns to Gabriel with a wide grin "now who's the idiot?" Gabriel's only response is some muffled complaint about "not all of us can get stupid lucky every dang time the DM says "you can certainly try"". God stands up from the shining silver table collecting his bags and dice with a fuming silence broke with "What a way to R U I N a brilliant story before it even starts, we'll end here tonight as I re-plan AN ENTIRE CAMPAIGN AGAIN. PETER." the silver halls shaking with his frustration. A literal stormy exit is followed by the echo of Jesus' voice "Now we'll never get that sick sword off of Rage".	God watched as the mayhem he dispersed upon his planet began to destroy each country starting from the east and heading to the west. The tsunami he formed with a swift brush of his hands poured over the land masses, starting with the islands and making its way to the continents. As one of the land masses broke off, shattering into pieces from the sheer force of the waves, a slight pang of guilt struck him. Watching the pieces sink into the deep ocean, he shed a single tear. A single tear for him, yet a massive rainstorm for the earth. It was his first planet. He created the others afterward, inspired by the pride he felt from creating such a successful world. However, he hadn't realized how much that world would turn on him. He never intended to bring so much pain, sorrow, and anger into existence. The wars that started from civilizations long ago and never ceased to end. He let the wars slide each time thinking "maybe this will be the last time", and each time they proved him wrong. It only escalated once they discovered technology: guns, tanks, nuclear bombs, bio-warfare. It was only a matter of time before they would discover more weapons of mass destruction. The human mind was something he did not realize would be his greatest and worst creation of all. When he first added creativity and intelligence, he thought it would be for greater good. He thought his humans would find a way to live one with nature and help others. The warm memory of fresh green plants, a flowing river, deer running around joyfully flooded his mind as he reminisced over the first days of his creation, back when it wasn't tainted with what has happened now. God shook his head, snapping himself out of it. It must be done. He picked up a land mass, shaking from the sadness pouring through his veins as he flipped it over into the ocean. He had tried and tried in the past to end things: earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, but each time something had always stopped him. Whether it was a young child's cry for her mother or a group of friends huddling together. The love shared among everyone always made him reconsider. The closest he had gotten to ending things the last time was the massive virus he had set upon the world. It spread like wildfire across all the land masses and because it was invisible, it was the hardest to kill. But what stopped him was the people who sang and danced. Amidst all of the chaos he had tried so hard to inflict, they still persisted to weather the storm. He always had a soft spot for the underdogs. This time, there would be no survivors. His destruction had made its way to the final big land mass on the western side of the planet. As he went to scoop up the ocean and create another massive tsunami, he stopped in his tracks. The sight of humans holding hands struck a chord in him. Humans of different shapes, sizes, and colors all uniting once again. And once again, humanity stopped him from successfully completing his mission. He set the ocean down and stepped away, scanning the destruction he had created. There wasn't much he could do to undo everything now but if he was right, the humans would find a way to recover. And when they do recover, maybe they would find a way to end the pain, sorrow, and anger from occurring again. Maybe this will be the last time. Maybe they won't fight anymore. Maybe...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Just following orders" I'd watched the humans long enough, I knew they had a term for people who used that as a defence. I'd watched these humans for millennia. I'd seen their saints and their sinners, their wars and their aid missions. Read their [stories](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Good_Omens)... >And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. Angels... angels lacked quite that spark. We couldn't defy a direct order from the very highest authority, we didn't have the will to directly go against the chain of command... we're not made that way... not since... that one time. I had my orders. I couldn't just not carry them out. A list of plagues to be inflicted on the humans, to whittle them down and leave the world empty for some other creation. But I didn't want them to be lost to the universe. But... there was one way... maybe.... my orders said nothing about the order of the plagues we were to inflict. A plagues of hail, fire, locusts, boils, floods, darkness, death, blood, lice, frogs and flies. And if I got it just right.... first the [plague of locusts](https://www.jpost.com/International/Swarms-of-locusts-expected-to-plague-Africa-and-Middle-East-UN-group-says-621384), then [kill the locusts with the hail](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/f7g85v/hailstones_causing_locusts_to_drop_dead_out_of/), the plague of death... the last time... the last time it targeted firstborn children but my orders said nothing about who it had to target... then by the time the plague of boils strike everyone will have isolated themselves restricting the spread. With most people inside, then the plagues of lice and flies quickly followed by the plague of frogs to eat them. The plague of locusts will have damaged crops so then I can send the plague of blood and floods to fertilise the farmland and wash away most of the frogs. The plague of fire, slowly heating the world, then the plague of darkness, a cloud of dust in between the world and the sun to cool it... I couldn't defy my orders.... but even angels have a certain leeway...	God watched as the mayhem he dispersed upon his planet began to destroy each country starting from the east and heading to the west. The tsunami he formed with a swift brush of his hands poured over the land masses, starting with the islands and making its way to the continents. As one of the land masses broke off, shattering into pieces from the sheer force of the waves, a slight pang of guilt struck him. Watching the pieces sink into the deep ocean, he shed a single tear. A single tear for him, yet a massive rainstorm for the earth. It was his first planet. He created the others afterward, inspired by the pride he felt from creating such a successful world. However, he hadn't realized how much that world would turn on him. He never intended to bring so much pain, sorrow, and anger into existence. The wars that started from civilizations long ago and never ceased to end. He let the wars slide each time thinking "maybe this will be the last time", and each time they proved him wrong. It only escalated once they discovered technology: guns, tanks, nuclear bombs, bio-warfare. It was only a matter of time before they would discover more weapons of mass destruction. The human mind was something he did not realize would be his greatest and worst creation of all. When he first added creativity and intelligence, he thought it would be for greater good. He thought his humans would find a way to live one with nature and help others. The warm memory of fresh green plants, a flowing river, deer running around joyfully flooded his mind as he reminisced over the first days of his creation, back when it wasn't tainted with what has happened now. God shook his head, snapping himself out of it. It must be done. He picked up a land mass, shaking from the sadness pouring through his veins as he flipped it over into the ocean. He had tried and tried in the past to end things: earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, but each time something had always stopped him. Whether it was a young child's cry for her mother or a group of friends huddling together. The love shared among everyone always made him reconsider. The closest he had gotten to ending things the last time was the massive virus he had set upon the world. It spread like wildfire across all the land masses and because it was invisible, it was the hardest to kill. But what stopped him was the people who sang and danced. Amidst all of the chaos he had tried so hard to inflict, they still persisted to weather the storm. He always had a soft spot for the underdogs. This time, there would be no survivors. His destruction had made its way to the final big land mass on the western side of the planet. As he went to scoop up the ocean and create another massive tsunami, he stopped in his tracks. The sight of humans holding hands struck a chord in him. Humans of different shapes, sizes, and colors all uniting once again. And once again, humanity stopped him from successfully completing his mission. He set the ocean down and stepped away, scanning the destruction he had created. There wasn't much he could do to undo everything now but if he was right, the humans would find a way to recover. And when they do recover, maybe they would find a way to end the pain, sorrow, and anger from occurring again. Maybe this will be the last time. Maybe they won't fight anymore. Maybe...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	“Was I wrong Gabriel?” “Wrong about what?” Gabriel answered God, uncertain as to what he meant. “In creating them.” He answered. “Do you remember when the rivers flowed freely? When they weren’t overrun with death and contamination?” God continued “Or when we could stand on this mound at night and see all the other constellations of all the other Gods so clearly? They were so clear Gabriel" he said with almost no hope left in his voice. The question hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. The wind howled and hissed through the trees, as if to frighten the very thought of the question off. “I do" the angel informed him. “ I remember it so clearly too. We stood on this mound the very first night you created Earth, in awe of the beauty that was at our fingertips.” “It isn’t the same place anymore.” Gabriel admitted. “But nor are we the same as we were then.” The thought of this weighed heavy on God's shoulders. He, the celestial, the almighty and the all powerful, struggled with the burden of this truth. Because it was the unfortunate truth, something that he hadn’t considered it to be ever before. “We cared far more back then" he admitted. “We did" concurred Gabriel. “They’re not monsters. There’s evil amongst them sure, but they’re not intrinsically so. They’re flawed, yes. As is their creator.” God's closest friend informed him. God watched as the sun began to set fire to the horizon. The deep eternal blue of the sky slowly set ablaze with smouldering red and molten orange. How beautiful this world he created still is, God thought. As he watched the embers of red slowly cool to black in the evening sky, a second thought overwhelmed him. A great calm had now fallen softly upon the hillside. A calm that was not felt in the mind of God. Images of war and famine flashed before the great deity's eyes. Soon the cries of animals burning in man-made fires and children crying for help echoed in a great cacophony of sadness through his ears. God the Almighty was overcome with the sorrow and anger felt by all the people and beings he had ever created. Soon enough he thought there to be only one solution; “I have to rid this planet of them. I must. There is no other way.” “There is no doubt that they have been a plague on this planet for quite some time. But, are we any better if we simply abandon them now at their greatest hour of need? After we alone created them.” Gabriel shared his belief with God. Yet, God was unsure if he felt the same way. Surely they weren’t to blame for this great mess before them? They had no control over the infinite cruelty of men. As he tussled and turned with the thoughts that ricocheted through his mind, the great calm upon that hill was interrupted by the faintest of sounds. A single high-pitched chirp and the soft flutter of tiny wings emerged from the tree line. The small red breast of a robin settled down gently upon the shoulder of God. He carefully lifted it from his shoulder with the tip of his index finger and observed the tiny being ever so slowly. He noticed that one of its wings had been injured, and mended. Mended by no other than human hands. It was the smallest and briefest of occurrences. Yet, the gentle flutter of the robins wings were strong enough to ward off even the greatest of plagues. “Perhaps, we shall give them one more chance.” God whispered to Gabriel. The angel smiled the most subtle and beautiful of smiles. Then turned to the sky, to gaze upon the constellations of stars he could still see from the mound.	God watched as the mayhem he dispersed upon his planet began to destroy each country starting from the east and heading to the west. The tsunami he formed with a swift brush of his hands poured over the land masses, starting with the islands and making its way to the continents. As one of the land masses broke off, shattering into pieces from the sheer force of the waves, a slight pang of guilt struck him. Watching the pieces sink into the deep ocean, he shed a single tear. A single tear for him, yet a massive rainstorm for the earth. It was his first planet. He created the others afterward, inspired by the pride he felt from creating such a successful world. However, he hadn't realized how much that world would turn on him. He never intended to bring so much pain, sorrow, and anger into existence. The wars that started from civilizations long ago and never ceased to end. He let the wars slide each time thinking "maybe this will be the last time", and each time they proved him wrong. It only escalated once they discovered technology: guns, tanks, nuclear bombs, bio-warfare. It was only a matter of time before they would discover more weapons of mass destruction. The human mind was something he did not realize would be his greatest and worst creation of all. When he first added creativity and intelligence, he thought it would be for greater good. He thought his humans would find a way to live one with nature and help others. The warm memory of fresh green plants, a flowing river, deer running around joyfully flooded his mind as he reminisced over the first days of his creation, back when it wasn't tainted with what has happened now. God shook his head, snapping himself out of it. It must be done. He picked up a land mass, shaking from the sadness pouring through his veins as he flipped it over into the ocean. He had tried and tried in the past to end things: earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, but each time something had always stopped him. Whether it was a young child's cry for her mother or a group of friends huddling together. The love shared among everyone always made him reconsider. The closest he had gotten to ending things the last time was the massive virus he had set upon the world. It spread like wildfire across all the land masses and because it was invisible, it was the hardest to kill. But what stopped him was the people who sang and danced. Amidst all of the chaos he had tried so hard to inflict, they still persisted to weather the storm. He always had a soft spot for the underdogs. This time, there would be no survivors. His destruction had made its way to the final big land mass on the western side of the planet. As he went to scoop up the ocean and create another massive tsunami, he stopped in his tracks. The sight of humans holding hands struck a chord in him. Humans of different shapes, sizes, and colors all uniting once again. And once again, humanity stopped him from successfully completing his mission. He set the ocean down and stepped away, scanning the destruction he had created. There wasn't much he could do to undo everything now but if he was right, the humans would find a way to recover. And when they do recover, maybe they would find a way to end the pain, sorrow, and anger from occurring again. Maybe this will be the last time. Maybe they won't fight anymore. Maybe...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	God watched as the mayhem he dispersed upon his planet began to destroy each country starting from the east and heading to the west. The tsunami he formed with a swift brush of his hands poured over the land masses, starting with the islands and making its way to the continents. As one of the land masses broke off, shattering into pieces from the sheer force of the waves, a slight pang of guilt struck him. Watching the pieces sink into the deep ocean, he shed a single tear. A single tear for him, yet a massive rainstorm for the earth. It was his first planet. He created the others afterward, inspired by the pride he felt from creating such a successful world. However, he hadn't realized how much that world would turn on him. He never intended to bring so much pain, sorrow, and anger into existence. The wars that started from civilizations long ago and never ceased to end. He let the wars slide each time thinking "maybe this will be the last time", and each time they proved him wrong. It only escalated once they discovered technology: guns, tanks, nuclear bombs, bio-warfare. It was only a matter of time before they would discover more weapons of mass destruction. The human mind was something he did not realize would be his greatest and worst creation of all. When he first added creativity and intelligence, he thought it would be for greater good. He thought his humans would find a way to live one with nature and help others. The warm memory of fresh green plants, a flowing river, deer running around joyfully flooded his mind as he reminisced over the first days of his creation, back when it wasn't tainted with what has happened now. God shook his head, snapping himself out of it. It must be done. He picked up a land mass, shaking from the sadness pouring through his veins as he flipped it over into the ocean. He had tried and tried in the past to end things: earthquakes, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, tornadoes, but each time something had always stopped him. Whether it was a young child's cry for her mother or a group of friends huddling together. The love shared among everyone always made him reconsider. The closest he had gotten to ending things the last time was the massive virus he had set upon the world. It spread like wildfire across all the land masses and because it was invisible, it was the hardest to kill. But what stopped him was the people who sang and danced. Amidst all of the chaos he had tried so hard to inflict, they still persisted to weather the storm. He always had a soft spot for the underdogs. This time, there would be no survivors. His destruction had made its way to the final big land mass on the western side of the planet. As he went to scoop up the ocean and create another massive tsunami, he stopped in his tracks. The sight of humans holding hands struck a chord in him. Humans of different shapes, sizes, and colors all uniting once again. And once again, humanity stopped him from successfully completing his mission. He set the ocean down and stepped away, scanning the destruction he had created. There wasn't much he could do to undo everything now but if he was right, the humans would find a way to recover. And when they do recover, maybe they would find a way to end the pain, sorrow, and anger from occurring again. Maybe this will be the last time. Maybe they won't fight anymore. Maybe...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Just following orders" I'd watched the humans long enough, I knew they had a term for people who used that as a defence. I'd watched these humans for millennia. I'd seen their saints and their sinners, their wars and their aid missions. Read their [stories](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Good_Omens)... >And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. Angels... angels lacked quite that spark. We couldn't defy a direct order from the very highest authority, we didn't have the will to directly go against the chain of command... we're not made that way... not since... that one time. I had my orders. I couldn't just not carry them out. A list of plagues to be inflicted on the humans, to whittle them down and leave the world empty for some other creation. But I didn't want them to be lost to the universe. But... there was one way... maybe.... my orders said nothing about the order of the plagues we were to inflict. A plagues of hail, fire, locusts, boils, floods, darkness, death, blood, lice, frogs and flies. And if I got it just right.... first the [plague of locusts](https://www.jpost.com/International/Swarms-of-locusts-expected-to-plague-Africa-and-Middle-East-UN-group-says-621384), then [kill the locusts with the hail](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/f7g85v/hailstones_causing_locusts_to_drop_dead_out_of/), the plague of death... the last time... the last time it targeted firstborn children but my orders said nothing about who it had to target... then by the time the plague of boils strike everyone will have isolated themselves restricting the spread. With most people inside, then the plagues of lice and flies quickly followed by the plague of frogs to eat them. The plague of locusts will have damaged crops so then I can send the plague of blood and floods to fertilise the farmland and wash away most of the frogs. The plague of fire, slowly heating the world, then the plague of darkness, a cloud of dust in between the world and the sun to cool it... I couldn't defy my orders.... but even angels have a certain leeway...	"Natural 20!" Peter chortled with glee. "FINE" God harumphed "the four horsemen fail to notice the thin silver wire or the rods of supreme holding hidden behind either side of the gate. As their horses barrel past" Four dice are rolled in succession, his face grimmer with each passing roll."They are flung off the edges of heaven and begin to tumble down, and down, and yet further down. To the very pits of hell." Peter turns to Gabriel with a wide grin "now who's the idiot?" Gabriel's only response is some muffled complaint about "not all of us can get stupid lucky every dang time the DM says "you can certainly try"". God stands up from the shining silver table collecting his bags and dice with a fuming silence broke with "What a way to R U I N a brilliant story before it even starts, we'll end here tonight as I re-plan AN ENTIRE CAMPAIGN AGAIN. PETER." the silver halls shaking with his frustration. A literal stormy exit is followed by the echo of Jesus' voice "Now we'll never get that sick sword off of Rage".
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	“Was I wrong Gabriel?” “Wrong about what?” Gabriel answered God, uncertain as to what he meant. “In creating them.” He answered. “Do you remember when the rivers flowed freely? When they weren’t overrun with death and contamination?” God continued “Or when we could stand on this mound at night and see all the other constellations of all the other Gods so clearly? They were so clear Gabriel" he said with almost no hope left in his voice. The question hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. The wind howled and hissed through the trees, as if to frighten the very thought of the question off. “I do" the angel informed him. “ I remember it so clearly too. We stood on this mound the very first night you created Earth, in awe of the beauty that was at our fingertips.” “It isn’t the same place anymore.” Gabriel admitted. “But nor are we the same as we were then.” The thought of this weighed heavy on God's shoulders. He, the celestial, the almighty and the all powerful, struggled with the burden of this truth. Because it was the unfortunate truth, something that he hadn’t considered it to be ever before. “We cared far more back then" he admitted. “We did" concurred Gabriel. “They’re not monsters. There’s evil amongst them sure, but they’re not intrinsically so. They’re flawed, yes. As is their creator.” God's closest friend informed him. God watched as the sun began to set fire to the horizon. The deep eternal blue of the sky slowly set ablaze with smouldering red and molten orange. How beautiful this world he created still is, God thought. As he watched the embers of red slowly cool to black in the evening sky, a second thought overwhelmed him. A great calm had now fallen softly upon the hillside. A calm that was not felt in the mind of God. Images of war and famine flashed before the great deity's eyes. Soon the cries of animals burning in man-made fires and children crying for help echoed in a great cacophony of sadness through his ears. God the Almighty was overcome with the sorrow and anger felt by all the people and beings he had ever created. Soon enough he thought there to be only one solution; “I have to rid this planet of them. I must. There is no other way.” “There is no doubt that they have been a plague on this planet for quite some time. But, are we any better if we simply abandon them now at their greatest hour of need? After we alone created them.” Gabriel shared his belief with God. Yet, God was unsure if he felt the same way. Surely they weren’t to blame for this great mess before them? They had no control over the infinite cruelty of men. As he tussled and turned with the thoughts that ricocheted through his mind, the great calm upon that hill was interrupted by the faintest of sounds. A single high-pitched chirp and the soft flutter of tiny wings emerged from the tree line. The small red breast of a robin settled down gently upon the shoulder of God. He carefully lifted it from his shoulder with the tip of his index finger and observed the tiny being ever so slowly. He noticed that one of its wings had been injured, and mended. Mended by no other than human hands. It was the smallest and briefest of occurrences. Yet, the gentle flutter of the robins wings were strong enough to ward off even the greatest of plagues. “Perhaps, we shall give them one more chance.” God whispered to Gabriel. The angel smiled the most subtle and beautiful of smiles. Then turned to the sky, to gaze upon the constellations of stars he could still see from the mound.	"Natural 20!" Peter chortled with glee. "FINE" God harumphed "the four horsemen fail to notice the thin silver wire or the rods of supreme holding hidden behind either side of the gate. As their horses barrel past" Four dice are rolled in succession, his face grimmer with each passing roll."They are flung off the edges of heaven and begin to tumble down, and down, and yet further down. To the very pits of hell." Peter turns to Gabriel with a wide grin "now who's the idiot?" Gabriel's only response is some muffled complaint about "not all of us can get stupid lucky every dang time the DM says "you can certainly try"". God stands up from the shining silver table collecting his bags and dice with a fuming silence broke with "What a way to R U I N a brilliant story before it even starts, we'll end here tonight as I re-plan AN ENTIRE CAMPAIGN AGAIN. PETER." the silver halls shaking with his frustration. A literal stormy exit is followed by the echo of Jesus' voice "Now we'll never get that sick sword off of Rage".
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	"Natural 20!" Peter chortled with glee. "FINE" God harumphed "the four horsemen fail to notice the thin silver wire or the rods of supreme holding hidden behind either side of the gate. As their horses barrel past" Four dice are rolled in succession, his face grimmer with each passing roll."They are flung off the edges of heaven and begin to tumble down, and down, and yet further down. To the very pits of hell." Peter turns to Gabriel with a wide grin "now who's the idiot?" Gabriel's only response is some muffled complaint about "not all of us can get stupid lucky every dang time the DM says "you can certainly try"". God stands up from the shining silver table collecting his bags and dice with a fuming silence broke with "What a way to R U I N a brilliant story before it even starts, we'll end here tonight as I re-plan AN ENTIRE CAMPAIGN AGAIN. PETER." the silver halls shaking with his frustration. A literal stormy exit is followed by the echo of Jesus' voice "Now we'll never get that sick sword off of Rage".
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	“Was I wrong Gabriel?” “Wrong about what?” Gabriel answered God, uncertain as to what he meant. “In creating them.” He answered. “Do you remember when the rivers flowed freely? When they weren’t overrun with death and contamination?” God continued “Or when we could stand on this mound at night and see all the other constellations of all the other Gods so clearly? They were so clear Gabriel" he said with almost no hope left in his voice. The question hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. The wind howled and hissed through the trees, as if to frighten the very thought of the question off. “I do" the angel informed him. “ I remember it so clearly too. We stood on this mound the very first night you created Earth, in awe of the beauty that was at our fingertips.” “It isn’t the same place anymore.” Gabriel admitted. “But nor are we the same as we were then.” The thought of this weighed heavy on God's shoulders. He, the celestial, the almighty and the all powerful, struggled with the burden of this truth. Because it was the unfortunate truth, something that he hadn’t considered it to be ever before. “We cared far more back then" he admitted. “We did" concurred Gabriel. “They’re not monsters. There’s evil amongst them sure, but they’re not intrinsically so. They’re flawed, yes. As is their creator.” God's closest friend informed him. God watched as the sun began to set fire to the horizon. The deep eternal blue of the sky slowly set ablaze with smouldering red and molten orange. How beautiful this world he created still is, God thought. As he watched the embers of red slowly cool to black in the evening sky, a second thought overwhelmed him. A great calm had now fallen softly upon the hillside. A calm that was not felt in the mind of God. Images of war and famine flashed before the great deity's eyes. Soon the cries of animals burning in man-made fires and children crying for help echoed in a great cacophony of sadness through his ears. God the Almighty was overcome with the sorrow and anger felt by all the people and beings he had ever created. Soon enough he thought there to be only one solution; “I have to rid this planet of them. I must. There is no other way.” “There is no doubt that they have been a plague on this planet for quite some time. But, are we any better if we simply abandon them now at their greatest hour of need? After we alone created them.” Gabriel shared his belief with God. Yet, God was unsure if he felt the same way. Surely they weren’t to blame for this great mess before them? They had no control over the infinite cruelty of men. As he tussled and turned with the thoughts that ricocheted through his mind, the great calm upon that hill was interrupted by the faintest of sounds. A single high-pitched chirp and the soft flutter of tiny wings emerged from the tree line. The small red breast of a robin settled down gently upon the shoulder of God. He carefully lifted it from his shoulder with the tip of his index finger and observed the tiny being ever so slowly. He noticed that one of its wings had been injured, and mended. Mended by no other than human hands. It was the smallest and briefest of occurrences. Yet, the gentle flutter of the robins wings were strong enough to ward off even the greatest of plagues. “Perhaps, we shall give them one more chance.” God whispered to Gabriel. The angel smiled the most subtle and beautiful of smiles. Then turned to the sky, to gaze upon the constellations of stars he could still see from the mound.	"Just following orders" I'd watched the humans long enough, I knew they had a term for people who used that as a defence. I'd watched these humans for millennia. I'd seen their saints and their sinners, their wars and their aid missions. Read their [stories](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Good_Omens)... >And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. Angels... angels lacked quite that spark. We couldn't defy a direct order from the very highest authority, we didn't have the will to directly go against the chain of command... we're not made that way... not since... that one time. I had my orders. I couldn't just not carry them out. A list of plagues to be inflicted on the humans, to whittle them down and leave the world empty for some other creation. But I didn't want them to be lost to the universe. But... there was one way... maybe.... my orders said nothing about the order of the plagues we were to inflict. A plagues of hail, fire, locusts, boils, floods, darkness, death, blood, lice, frogs and flies. And if I got it just right.... first the [plague of locusts](https://www.jpost.com/International/Swarms-of-locusts-expected-to-plague-Africa-and-Middle-East-UN-group-says-621384), then [kill the locusts with the hail](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/f7g85v/hailstones_causing_locusts_to_drop_dead_out_of/), the plague of death... the last time... the last time it targeted firstborn children but my orders said nothing about who it had to target... then by the time the plague of boils strike everyone will have isolated themselves restricting the spread. With most people inside, then the plagues of lice and flies quickly followed by the plague of frogs to eat them. The plague of locusts will have damaged crops so then I can send the plague of blood and floods to fertilise the farmland and wash away most of the frogs. The plague of fire, slowly heating the world, then the plague of darkness, a cloud of dust in between the world and the sun to cool it... I couldn't defy my orders.... but even angels have a certain leeway...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	"Just following orders" I'd watched the humans long enough, I knew they had a term for people who used that as a defence. I'd watched these humans for millennia. I'd seen their saints and their sinners, their wars and their aid missions. Read their [stories](https://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Good_Omens)... >And just when you'd think they were more malignant than ever Hell could be, they could occasionally show more grace than Heaven ever dreamed of. Often the same individual was involved. It was this free-will thing, of course. Angels... angels lacked quite that spark. We couldn't defy a direct order from the very highest authority, we didn't have the will to directly go against the chain of command... we're not made that way... not since... that one time. I had my orders. I couldn't just not carry them out. A list of plagues to be inflicted on the humans, to whittle them down and leave the world empty for some other creation. But I didn't want them to be lost to the universe. But... there was one way... maybe.... my orders said nothing about the order of the plagues we were to inflict. A plagues of hail, fire, locusts, boils, floods, darkness, death, blood, lice, frogs and flies. And if I got it just right.... first the [plague of locusts](https://www.jpost.com/International/Swarms-of-locusts-expected-to-plague-Africa-and-Middle-East-UN-group-says-621384), then [kill the locusts with the hail](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/f7g85v/hailstones_causing_locusts_to_drop_dead_out_of/), the plague of death... the last time... the last time it targeted firstborn children but my orders said nothing about who it had to target... then by the time the plague of boils strike everyone will have isolated themselves restricting the spread. With most people inside, then the plagues of lice and flies quickly followed by the plague of frogs to eat them. The plague of locusts will have damaged crops so then I can send the plague of blood and floods to fertilise the farmland and wash away most of the frogs. The plague of fire, slowly heating the world, then the plague of darkness, a cloud of dust in between the world and the sun to cool it... I couldn't defy my orders.... but even angels have a certain leeway...
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	What is it that's making me like this? I want to end the world, end their struggles, but I can't, it makes me feel like I'm not God anymore. Is it their prayers for hope and justice? No, it's not that easy. Is it the kindness of the people? No, evil will always be there. Is it their extraordinary achievement in history? No, they can, and will thrive even further. No, no, NO! If all of them aren't it, then what is it? Mankind is selfish! They can't even protect their................family. Family. Family. I'm God, a deity, and I'm.....alone. I shall forgive mankind once more. Thou shall be selfless, protect thy family, and live.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Second Hell is coming along nicely, by the way, the new pandemic was a nice touch. What are you planning for them next? Gonna go old school, give em' a good ol' fashioned flood?" The Archangel was only teasing of course. Sort of. He busied himself with lunch, laying four pieces of bread out on the counter. Behind him God placed his cup back in it's saucer, the china tinkling. "No one would blame you, you know." The Archangel opened cabinets and drawers, plucking out the things he needed. "And really you should be proud of yourself, they lasted so much longer this time! And such neat cultures and food, I was just telling Michael -" The Angel had stopped mid-sentence, turning in place while looking around. "It's - where - God, there's no fridge in this room?" The Angel turned to God, who was staring into his teacup. He waved his hand in the Angel's general direction without looking up. A soft pop, and a fridge had appeared. "Thank you. So anyway, I was just telling Michael that if it weren't for the wars in Your name, and the destruction of the world You gave them, and the needless slaughter of the animals You gave them, and the fact that they just will not stop imprisoning or murdering or raping or -" The Angel had turned with the lunch tray to find God seething. Hands balled into fists, vein in his temple pulsing, chest rising and falling with anger, seething. The Angel took a step back. "Um. Okay. Let's everybody just...breathe" "ITS THE DOGS!" God exploded, fists slamming into the tabletop. "ONLY HALF THE DOGS WOULD COME AND I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE WHEN I LET IT BURN OUT!" The Angel stood very still. One bad moment here and he could end up a pile of dust. Maybe he just needs to vent, and really that's reasonable. "THE CATS CAME BACK SO EASILY! THE DOGS WILL NOT COME BACK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEETINGS, HOW MANY PROVISIONS WE HAVE MADE!" God stood and started to pace. "The Parks Committee. The food service because half of them forgot how to hunt, like that's MY fault! The INSTANT REUNIFICATION program! Do they know how much ENERGY it takes to INSTANTLY reunite EVERY dog with their person?!" The Angel raised his eyebrows. "None?" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT! They won't leave their owners behind, and and I can't just kill them all together, the dogs are innocents! IT'S LIKE THE HUMANS FOUND A LOOPHOLE!" God was actually starting to lose it a little, pulling at his hair. He sat back down, rather dramatically in the Angel's opinion, and buried his face in his hands. "The cats got it straight away. We Raptured the cats, then when I can finally explode the sun or whatever I settle on, the people will come here! The...the 'good people' will come here and they'll be together again!" God looked up, panting slightly. The angel sat the tray back down and crossed his arms. "Ah, yes. The famous Cat Rapture of 2024. Didn't that not go over particularly well?" God stared at the Angel for a moment but then looked down. "3.4 % of the remaining population committed suicide -" The Angel started to interject but God hurried on - "Yoooou go ask the cats about that, when I told them that that happened their spokescat said, and I quote, 'eh'." "Okay, first of all you're using finger quotes incorrectly, and secondly, I'm sure if you just explained to the dogs that -" "You don't understand!" God cried. "If the dogs found out that...something like THAT had happened to their owners, I'm afraid...I'm afraid they wouldn't like me as much as before." His voice started to tremble and he lowered his head to the table, covering it with his arms. The Angel sighed. He walked to the table and sat the food tray down next to God's tea. "Eat something." "I'm not hungry." God wouldn't look up, and it sounded like he was crying a little. "Okay. God. Look at me." "No." "Okay. Listen. We are going to figure this out. Okay?" "...Really?" "Yes. In fact, I am going to personally take over negotiations, let's take a little off your plate here. Pun intended, right? Oh, stop crying, here, who is their...leader, who have you been speaking with?" God finally looked up, wiping his eyes. "They change it every day so that it's fair. I think today Princess Lady Face is in charge." The Angel stared back blankly for a moment. "Princess Lady - they change it every day? So I'll only talk to...Princess Lady Face once and then it'll switch?" "Don't worry," God said as he picked up a sandwich. "She's a good girl." The angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "They are ALL good dogs, God, that's why we're having this conversation. All dogs go to Heaven." They sat staring at one another for a moment before bursting into laughter. Once they'd gathered themselves the angel said "Okay, I think we need to come at this a different way, we need human representation. Who do we have that's good with animals?" It was like a light switched on inside God's head. His eyes lit up and widened at the prospect. He stood slowly and then fixed his burning gaze on the angel. "Yes, my Lord?" Smiling, God said "Get me Steve Irwin."	What is it that's making me like this? I want to end the world, end their struggles, but I can't, it makes me feel like I'm not God anymore. Is it their prayers for hope and justice? No, it's not that easy. Is it the kindness of the people? No, evil will always be there. Is it their extraordinary achievement in history? No, they can, and will thrive even further. No, no, NO! If all of them aren't it, then what is it? Mankind is selfish! They can't even protect their................family. Family. Family. I'm God, a deity, and I'm.....alone. I shall forgive mankind once more. Thou shall be selfless, protect thy family, and live.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	I should have discovered there was a problem in 2007 when the “Great Depression” I struck to warm-up to the end the world on schedule fizzled out into a mere temporary recession. Don’t get me wrong, there was still a global financial crisis, but nothing compared the way I had used my powers to end the Incan and Mayan society so many years back. The mayflies of course have a silly notions of “the end of the world” actually means. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make an entire planet permanently uninhabitable through miracle alone? The closest any being that resembles what mayflies call “gods” came was moving an errant meteor towards the planet, and here we are 65 million years catering to the whims of a bunch of hairless apes. At least the great lizards had a god with panache, I wish I could have met it. Most gods have no interest in ending the world, in fact the ones who would love to do it are all trapped in some kind of underworld by the mayflies that pray to them (admittedly, empowering death gods and locking them up without even realizing it is a VERY “human” thing to do, even where I’m from). The gods that do have free reign on …Earth? Such a crude moniker… tend to be interested in maintaining the status quo. I found them to be weak, simple creatures without any desire to end our eternal torment by wiping out conscious life. They don’t know the pain of slowly fading into becoming dormant, trapped watching as new gods rise and fall. Chaos gods would sometimes help, and they have a certain low cunning that allows them to be very effective, but ultimately left to their own devices they get distracted or bored and its back to square one. It had been a bizarre transition to wake up after years of no prayers, no worshippers, not even a curse whispering my name on the wind. You can imagine my surprise when I woke up in what I later learned was the spirituality section of an independent bookstore on the mainland of what is now called the United States. I woke looking at a one of the insignificant mayflies signing what looked a manuscript of some kind. I naturally assumed it to be a temple, as there was a High Priest speaking to her flock. I was incredibly weak, but as I approached the table I could feel my natural gifts return. The mayflies eyes began to slide off of me, and forget they had seen my monstrous visage approach. They still disgust me as much as they did in my prime, pretending to be lords of the planet when their existence is less than the blink of an eye. Upon looking at the book I read the title “2012: The End of the World? Mayan Prophecies explored!” It made little sense to me at the time, the Mayans hadn’t really had a lot of sophistication in their disaster fables, and otherwise I wouldn’t have gone dormant. I listened as the priest began preaching to the small table of followers. As I swallowed their excuse for a language and absorbed their mewling prayers I realized they all, secretly and for very different reasons believed the world must end. I felt a rush of power I hadn’t in hundreds of years. These humans didn’t care how, or why or who ended the world, but they had settled on old legends with enough of my name attached to wake me. The power came from the mayflies complete (and natural I might add) addiction to fear of their inevitable demise. I felt awakened! These new mayflies weren’t rigid in their beliefs, they wanted death and destruction, and they would pay the priestess to describe it in grueling detail. Best of all they didn’t particularly care WHO was doing the destroying, or attach themselves to rigid religious dogmas of one or two gods. I always did better with pantheists after all. I spent the next thirteen years attempting to fulfil my destiny. I had to do it largely alone, like I said death gods are only useful in the first 500 years, then they get imprisoned or bored. I wasn’t bored. I was finally alive! I could use the darkness in these worshippers’ thoughts to bring about darkness, and maybe even the end of the world they so craved, and I had always wanted but had never been able to bring about. I quickly found it didn’t work. Every disaster I brought about was thwarted in short order. 2012 came and went as so many other years in the infinite dance of the cosmos. It was not wasted however. I was able to continue drawing on those who wanted to see things end. They prayed in their own way to a god who would never know their name. So I continued on, and I began to see the fruit of my labour. Initial results were disappointing, the mayflies had become good at dealing with crisis scenarios. Every day I cursed that I didn’t have the power to manipulate the mayflies’ minds directly. Plagues, financial ruin, natural disasters, (I was particularly proud of the Fukishima meltdown, it’s a shame I’m unable to manipulate atomic power directly) none of it worked! No matter how bad things got the mayflies simply bounced back. Until one day in a bar in Idaho, while thinking about how best to wipe out the west coast of the US with well-timed seismic tremors I realized that something was wrong. I looked across the deserted bar and realized I was being watched, which is fairly remarkable given that it’s nearly impossible to see a god of darkness. The impossibly perfect being sauntered over and looked me up and down. “You know you’ll never beat them right? Better gods than you have tried” it said, or rather intoned through base magic. “Not alone anyway” “What would you know about it” I spat. “What interest does a puny love god have in the end of the world anyway?” “More than you’d think… we should talk. The name’s Eros. I think I can help.”
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Second Hell is coming along nicely, by the way, the new pandemic was a nice touch. What are you planning for them next? Gonna go old school, give em' a good ol' fashioned flood?" The Archangel was only teasing of course. Sort of. He busied himself with lunch, laying four pieces of bread out on the counter. Behind him God placed his cup back in it's saucer, the china tinkling. "No one would blame you, you know." The Archangel opened cabinets and drawers, plucking out the things he needed. "And really you should be proud of yourself, they lasted so much longer this time! And such neat cultures and food, I was just telling Michael -" The Angel had stopped mid-sentence, turning in place while looking around. "It's - where - God, there's no fridge in this room?" The Angel turned to God, who was staring into his teacup. He waved his hand in the Angel's general direction without looking up. A soft pop, and a fridge had appeared. "Thank you. So anyway, I was just telling Michael that if it weren't for the wars in Your name, and the destruction of the world You gave them, and the needless slaughter of the animals You gave them, and the fact that they just will not stop imprisoning or murdering or raping or -" The Angel had turned with the lunch tray to find God seething. Hands balled into fists, vein in his temple pulsing, chest rising and falling with anger, seething. The Angel took a step back. "Um. Okay. Let's everybody just...breathe" "ITS THE DOGS!" God exploded, fists slamming into the tabletop. "ONLY HALF THE DOGS WOULD COME AND I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE WHEN I LET IT BURN OUT!" The Angel stood very still. One bad moment here and he could end up a pile of dust. Maybe he just needs to vent, and really that's reasonable. "THE CATS CAME BACK SO EASILY! THE DOGS WILL NOT COME BACK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEETINGS, HOW MANY PROVISIONS WE HAVE MADE!" God stood and started to pace. "The Parks Committee. The food service because half of them forgot how to hunt, like that's MY fault! The INSTANT REUNIFICATION program! Do they know how much ENERGY it takes to INSTANTLY reunite EVERY dog with their person?!" The Angel raised his eyebrows. "None?" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT! They won't leave their owners behind, and and I can't just kill them all together, the dogs are innocents! IT'S LIKE THE HUMANS FOUND A LOOPHOLE!" God was actually starting to lose it a little, pulling at his hair. He sat back down, rather dramatically in the Angel's opinion, and buried his face in his hands. "The cats got it straight away. We Raptured the cats, then when I can finally explode the sun or whatever I settle on, the people will come here! The...the 'good people' will come here and they'll be together again!" God looked up, panting slightly. The angel sat the tray back down and crossed his arms. "Ah, yes. The famous Cat Rapture of 2024. Didn't that not go over particularly well?" God stared at the Angel for a moment but then looked down. "3.4 % of the remaining population committed suicide -" The Angel started to interject but God hurried on - "Yoooou go ask the cats about that, when I told them that that happened their spokescat said, and I quote, 'eh'." "Okay, first of all you're using finger quotes incorrectly, and secondly, I'm sure if you just explained to the dogs that -" "You don't understand!" God cried. "If the dogs found out that...something like THAT had happened to their owners, I'm afraid...I'm afraid they wouldn't like me as much as before." His voice started to tremble and he lowered his head to the table, covering it with his arms. The Angel sighed. He walked to the table and sat the food tray down next to God's tea. "Eat something." "I'm not hungry." God wouldn't look up, and it sounded like he was crying a little. "Okay. God. Look at me." "No." "Okay. Listen. We are going to figure this out. Okay?" "...Really?" "Yes. In fact, I am going to personally take over negotiations, let's take a little off your plate here. Pun intended, right? Oh, stop crying, here, who is their...leader, who have you been speaking with?" God finally looked up, wiping his eyes. "They change it every day so that it's fair. I think today Princess Lady Face is in charge." The Angel stared back blankly for a moment. "Princess Lady - they change it every day? So I'll only talk to...Princess Lady Face once and then it'll switch?" "Don't worry," God said as he picked up a sandwich. "She's a good girl." The angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "They are ALL good dogs, God, that's why we're having this conversation. All dogs go to Heaven." They sat staring at one another for a moment before bursting into laughter. Once they'd gathered themselves the angel said "Okay, I think we need to come at this a different way, we need human representation. Who do we have that's good with animals?" It was like a light switched on inside God's head. His eyes lit up and widened at the prospect. He stood slowly and then fixed his burning gaze on the angel. "Yes, my Lord?" Smiling, God said "Get me Steve Irwin."	I should have discovered there was a problem in 2007 when the “Great Depression” I struck to warm-up to the end the world on schedule fizzled out into a mere temporary recession. Don’t get me wrong, there was still a global financial crisis, but nothing compared the way I had used my powers to end the Incan and Mayan society so many years back. The mayflies of course have a silly notions of “the end of the world” actually means. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to make an entire planet permanently uninhabitable through miracle alone? The closest any being that resembles what mayflies call “gods” came was moving an errant meteor towards the planet, and here we are 65 million years catering to the whims of a bunch of hairless apes. At least the great lizards had a god with panache, I wish I could have met it. Most gods have no interest in ending the world, in fact the ones who would love to do it are all trapped in some kind of underworld by the mayflies that pray to them (admittedly, empowering death gods and locking them up without even realizing it is a VERY “human” thing to do, even where I’m from). The gods that do have free reign on …Earth? Such a crude moniker… tend to be interested in maintaining the status quo. I found them to be weak, simple creatures without any desire to end our eternal torment by wiping out conscious life. They don’t know the pain of slowly fading into becoming dormant, trapped watching as new gods rise and fall. Chaos gods would sometimes help, and they have a certain low cunning that allows them to be very effective, but ultimately left to their own devices they get distracted or bored and its back to square one. It had been a bizarre transition to wake up after years of no prayers, no worshippers, not even a curse whispering my name on the wind. You can imagine my surprise when I woke up in what I later learned was the spirituality section of an independent bookstore on the mainland of what is now called the United States. I woke looking at a one of the insignificant mayflies signing what looked a manuscript of some kind. I naturally assumed it to be a temple, as there was a High Priest speaking to her flock. I was incredibly weak, but as I approached the table I could feel my natural gifts return. The mayflies eyes began to slide off of me, and forget they had seen my monstrous visage approach. They still disgust me as much as they did in my prime, pretending to be lords of the planet when their existence is less than the blink of an eye. Upon looking at the book I read the title “2012: The End of the World? Mayan Prophecies explored!” It made little sense to me at the time, the Mayans hadn’t really had a lot of sophistication in their disaster fables, and otherwise I wouldn’t have gone dormant. I listened as the priest began preaching to the small table of followers. As I swallowed their excuse for a language and absorbed their mewling prayers I realized they all, secretly and for very different reasons believed the world must end. I felt a rush of power I hadn’t in hundreds of years. These humans didn’t care how, or why or who ended the world, but they had settled on old legends with enough of my name attached to wake me. The power came from the mayflies complete (and natural I might add) addiction to fear of their inevitable demise. I felt awakened! These new mayflies weren’t rigid in their beliefs, they wanted death and destruction, and they would pay the priestess to describe it in grueling detail. Best of all they didn’t particularly care WHO was doing the destroying, or attach themselves to rigid religious dogmas of one or two gods. I always did better with pantheists after all. I spent the next thirteen years attempting to fulfil my destiny. I had to do it largely alone, like I said death gods are only useful in the first 500 years, then they get imprisoned or bored. I wasn’t bored. I was finally alive! I could use the darkness in these worshippers’ thoughts to bring about darkness, and maybe even the end of the world they so craved, and I had always wanted but had never been able to bring about. I quickly found it didn’t work. Every disaster I brought about was thwarted in short order. 2012 came and went as so many other years in the infinite dance of the cosmos. It was not wasted however. I was able to continue drawing on those who wanted to see things end. They prayed in their own way to a god who would never know their name. So I continued on, and I began to see the fruit of my labour. Initial results were disappointing, the mayflies had become good at dealing with crisis scenarios. Every day I cursed that I didn’t have the power to manipulate the mayflies’ minds directly. Plagues, financial ruin, natural disasters, (I was particularly proud of the Fukishima meltdown, it’s a shame I’m unable to manipulate atomic power directly) none of it worked! No matter how bad things got the mayflies simply bounced back. Until one day in a bar in Idaho, while thinking about how best to wipe out the west coast of the US with well-timed seismic tremors I realized that something was wrong. I looked across the deserted bar and realized I was being watched, which is fairly remarkable given that it’s nearly impossible to see a god of darkness. The impossibly perfect being sauntered over and looked me up and down. “You know you’ll never beat them right? Better gods than you have tried” it said, or rather intoned through base magic. “Not alone anyway” “What would you know about it” I spat. “What interest does a puny love god have in the end of the world anyway?” “More than you’d think… we should talk. The name’s Eros. I think I can help.”
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	Pestilence sighed and a green cloud misted from his beaked mask. He looked upon the thieves, the liars, the adulterers all cowering in their houses from his plague and he clenched his fist. He knew it was only a matter of time before the Old Man ordered relentment. Again. Next to him, a slender woman smothered a chuckle. Dainty hands covered withered lips as her pale skin stretched tight over sharp cheekbones. "Oh Pestie. First time? Father's been axing my famines for centuries. Don't worry you won't starve." War slammed his sword on the table. "At least you still get work in Africa. I blow up planes, I blow up tankers, I get fear, hatred, creeping into men's hearts. And bam. Ordered to pull out. No one appreciates the art of war." With heavy shoulders, Pestilence shook his head. "Do we at least know who it is this time?" "A little girl named Isabelle," Death said with a voice like winter wind seeping through crags. "A little girl praying for her mum. A little girl who will lose faith and be doomed to Hell by a drunk driver in 6 years. But for now she clings to God, and for now God listens." Pestilence raised an open palm in indignance. "They're all maggots in the end. Why wait? We ought to just-" "Next month it is a man named Albert," Death continued, "A morose man who runs from his problems and drinks away his family. But a man who will plea to God for a second chance, a plea which will be granted. Next year Albert will squander it and die in a bender." Around the table, War's grit his teeth and his knuckles whitened over grip of his sword. The green mist that oozed out of Pestilence's mask thickened like a storm cloud. And Famine's face remained upturned and poised but her eyes burned. Death looked at each in turn. "But in the month after that, there will be an old woman named Martha. Her whole life she lived without a care, chasing the delights of the world. But our brother Pestilence's plague will make the world less than delightful, and she will hold her grandchildren and cry out. She will continue to cling to God on her deathbed while surrounded by those grandchildren, hale and hearty." War grunted and swung his sword on his shoulder. "Well if the commander orders it... I guess we have no choice." Famine fanned her fingers, and while keeping her gaze on her ivory nails she said "Yes, I suppose Father knows best. The more souls saved the better of course." Pestilence looked at his feet. He was accustomed to his work bringing ruin to men and to say it brought salvation was strange. But if one could see behind the black tinted holes of his mask, they would perhaps see a flicker of pride.	As I stare across the scorched field bordering my neighborhood, I wonder: Why did the fire stop? This inferno sprang into existence with finger-snapping quickness, then dissipated into the sky like fire rain falling in reverse. Even the fire marshall was baffled by this strange phenomenon. Given that he hasn't expressed a hint of emotion in the ten years I've known him, his episode of fear (however brief) stirs more dread within me than the blackened earth languishing outside my bedroom window. These infernos raged all over the world last night, then were snuffed out at exactly the same time: 1:03 AM. This can't be a coincidence. Although I'm not religious, I can't help but wonder if God is angry with us. \--- It's been three days since the fires, and now everyone in town has contracted a mysterious disease. None of the local doctors can determine its cause. We're all in perfect health according to their tests, and shouldn't be exhibiting such bizarre symptoms. For example, our corneas bleed at random times, as do our mouths and ears. The pain that accompanies these episodes is excruciating, and often leaves sufferers bedridden for hours. A part of me wishes that the inferno leveled the town last night--for then our suffering would end, and our curse lifted. \--- Last night thirty bolts of lighting struck the hill at the edge of town in rapid succession, leaving the following message burned into the earth: You will bleed for your sins. Read more at r/DailyHorrorStories
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	We'd made a deal. That day when the lightning had come without the thunder, when fires had sprouted like flowers in the spring rains. Our house of cards in an autumn gale; our walls of glass in a hailstorm. I'd been there when he'd made his decision, and I'd been there when he changed his mind. "We're your masterpiece," I'd said, and the lightning ceased. A tornado descended, thunder's drums finally beat. "Are you?" he asked when he was before me in his celestial form. Not human, because we weren't masterpiece enough; not inhuman, because we were as good as he'd managed to make. I shrugged. I'd not expected it to work. I'd expected the next lightning bolt to smite me; the flood to come to drown me. "Sure." "I thought you more a defect," he retorted. He wasn't wrong. We were that last line of code on the day of the release, slipped in with the hope that it wouldn't all fall apart. But it had. Not in a day and not in a year, but thousands of years later and we'd all but done what he couldn't bring himself to do. "Just let it be," I urged. What I took to be his arms crossed; what I took to be his face furrowed deep with thought. He tapped his foot and the earth quaked. "Trust me," I pressed. "We'll take care of it ourselves." "How's that?" I gestured vaguely. At the desert, vast as the sole of his foot under which he'd crush us. At the sky, distant as could be as it soaked up our prayers. At where we stood, that was once a luscious forest full of flora and fauna. "Another blink for you, probably. A lifetime or two for someone like me. Before you know it, we'll be gone." "Why?" I scoffed. Who fucking knew? "Human nature, I guess. You tell me. You made us." I didn't expect him to know. I'd written code like that before--so complex and muddled that even I didn't know what it'd been designed to do. That was us. "Look, just take a break. Sit back and let the prayers fade into the darkness. Like you have been. We'll take care of getting rid of us for you." I could somehow see amusement in that indecipherable swirl of sand and dust. "Fine," he said. "Keep doing what you're doing and we have a deal." Figuratively, we shook. I knew us better than our own creator did. Things could change, but we never would. ***** Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!	As I stare across the scorched field bordering my neighborhood, I wonder: Why did the fire stop? This inferno sprang into existence with finger-snapping quickness, then dissipated into the sky like fire rain falling in reverse. Even the fire marshall was baffled by this strange phenomenon. Given that he hasn't expressed a hint of emotion in the ten years I've known him, his episode of fear (however brief) stirs more dread within me than the blackened earth languishing outside my bedroom window. These infernos raged all over the world last night, then were snuffed out at exactly the same time: 1:03 AM. This can't be a coincidence. Although I'm not religious, I can't help but wonder if God is angry with us. \--- It's been three days since the fires, and now everyone in town has contracted a mysterious disease. None of the local doctors can determine its cause. We're all in perfect health according to their tests, and shouldn't be exhibiting such bizarre symptoms. For example, our corneas bleed at random times, as do our mouths and ears. The pain that accompanies these episodes is excruciating, and often leaves sufferers bedridden for hours. A part of me wishes that the inferno leveled the town last night--for then our suffering would end, and our curse lifted. \--- Last night thirty bolts of lighting struck the hill at the edge of town in rapid succession, leaving the following message burned into the earth: You will bleed for your sins. Read more at r/DailyHorrorStories
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Second Hell is coming along nicely, by the way, the new pandemic was a nice touch. What are you planning for them next? Gonna go old school, give em' a good ol' fashioned flood?" The Archangel was only teasing of course. Sort of. He busied himself with lunch, laying four pieces of bread out on the counter. Behind him God placed his cup back in it's saucer, the china tinkling. "No one would blame you, you know." The Archangel opened cabinets and drawers, plucking out the things he needed. "And really you should be proud of yourself, they lasted so much longer this time! And such neat cultures and food, I was just telling Michael -" The Angel had stopped mid-sentence, turning in place while looking around. "It's - where - God, there's no fridge in this room?" The Angel turned to God, who was staring into his teacup. He waved his hand in the Angel's general direction without looking up. A soft pop, and a fridge had appeared. "Thank you. So anyway, I was just telling Michael that if it weren't for the wars in Your name, and the destruction of the world You gave them, and the needless slaughter of the animals You gave them, and the fact that they just will not stop imprisoning or murdering or raping or -" The Angel had turned with the lunch tray to find God seething. Hands balled into fists, vein in his temple pulsing, chest rising and falling with anger, seething. The Angel took a step back. "Um. Okay. Let's everybody just...breathe" "ITS THE DOGS!" God exploded, fists slamming into the tabletop. "ONLY HALF THE DOGS WOULD COME AND I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE WHEN I LET IT BURN OUT!" The Angel stood very still. One bad moment here and he could end up a pile of dust. Maybe he just needs to vent, and really that's reasonable. "THE CATS CAME BACK SO EASILY! THE DOGS WILL NOT COME BACK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEETINGS, HOW MANY PROVISIONS WE HAVE MADE!" God stood and started to pace. "The Parks Committee. The food service because half of them forgot how to hunt, like that's MY fault! The INSTANT REUNIFICATION program! Do they know how much ENERGY it takes to INSTANTLY reunite EVERY dog with their person?!" The Angel raised his eyebrows. "None?" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT! They won't leave their owners behind, and and I can't just kill them all together, the dogs are innocents! IT'S LIKE THE HUMANS FOUND A LOOPHOLE!" God was actually starting to lose it a little, pulling at his hair. He sat back down, rather dramatically in the Angel's opinion, and buried his face in his hands. "The cats got it straight away. We Raptured the cats, then when I can finally explode the sun or whatever I settle on, the people will come here! The...the 'good people' will come here and they'll be together again!" God looked up, panting slightly. The angel sat the tray back down and crossed his arms. "Ah, yes. The famous Cat Rapture of 2024. Didn't that not go over particularly well?" God stared at the Angel for a moment but then looked down. "3.4 % of the remaining population committed suicide -" The Angel started to interject but God hurried on - "Yoooou go ask the cats about that, when I told them that that happened their spokescat said, and I quote, 'eh'." "Okay, first of all you're using finger quotes incorrectly, and secondly, I'm sure if you just explained to the dogs that -" "You don't understand!" God cried. "If the dogs found out that...something like THAT had happened to their owners, I'm afraid...I'm afraid they wouldn't like me as much as before." His voice started to tremble and he lowered his head to the table, covering it with his arms. The Angel sighed. He walked to the table and sat the food tray down next to God's tea. "Eat something." "I'm not hungry." God wouldn't look up, and it sounded like he was crying a little. "Okay. God. Look at me." "No." "Okay. Listen. We are going to figure this out. Okay?" "...Really?" "Yes. In fact, I am going to personally take over negotiations, let's take a little off your plate here. Pun intended, right? Oh, stop crying, here, who is their...leader, who have you been speaking with?" God finally looked up, wiping his eyes. "They change it every day so that it's fair. I think today Princess Lady Face is in charge." The Angel stared back blankly for a moment. "Princess Lady - they change it every day? So I'll only talk to...Princess Lady Face once and then it'll switch?" "Don't worry," God said as he picked up a sandwich. "She's a good girl." The angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "They are ALL good dogs, God, that's why we're having this conversation. All dogs go to Heaven." They sat staring at one another for a moment before bursting into laughter. Once they'd gathered themselves the angel said "Okay, I think we need to come at this a different way, we need human representation. Who do we have that's good with animals?" It was like a light switched on inside God's head. His eyes lit up and widened at the prospect. He stood slowly and then fixed his burning gaze on the angel. "Yes, my Lord?" Smiling, God said "Get me Steve Irwin."	As I stare across the scorched field bordering my neighborhood, I wonder: Why did the fire stop? This inferno sprang into existence with finger-snapping quickness, then dissipated into the sky like fire rain falling in reverse. Even the fire marshall was baffled by this strange phenomenon. Given that he hasn't expressed a hint of emotion in the ten years I've known him, his episode of fear (however brief) stirs more dread within me than the blackened earth languishing outside my bedroom window. These infernos raged all over the world last night, then were snuffed out at exactly the same time: 1:03 AM. This can't be a coincidence. Although I'm not religious, I can't help but wonder if God is angry with us. \--- It's been three days since the fires, and now everyone in town has contracted a mysterious disease. None of the local doctors can determine its cause. We're all in perfect health according to their tests, and shouldn't be exhibiting such bizarre symptoms. For example, our corneas bleed at random times, as do our mouths and ears. The pain that accompanies these episodes is excruciating, and often leaves sufferers bedridden for hours. A part of me wishes that the inferno leveled the town last night--for then our suffering would end, and our curse lifted. \--- Last night thirty bolts of lighting struck the hill at the edge of town in rapid succession, leaving the following message burned into the earth: You will bleed for your sins. Read more at r/DailyHorrorStories
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"My Son, I have officially run out of ideas..." Couldn't you give them another chance, Father? "No, they are too far gone. They have walked the path of sin for centuries. I have tried to correct them with even the most extreme of measures. Yet even two global wars with the most despicable atrocities were not enough to unite them. Even after, they became more divided. A pure common goal of exploration and discovery was not even enough to set them upon the true path of harmony." I understand, Father. Maybe it is for the best that we start anew. "But I cannot begin new endeavors while they still live. They have progressed too far in knowledge and capability. I have used new wars, plagues, natural disasters, and more yet they seem to be persistent in continuing..." Maybe you are not going far enough, Father. Maybe you should try some of your methods during the time of your Dinosaurs? "NO, it would revert progress too much on this world. Too much life would be lost..." Not all life was lost last time, Father. Don't you remember? The world healed itself and life, the little that survived, persisted and later flourished. "Maybe you are right, My Son. Perhaps extreme circumstances require drastic measures..." BREAKING NEWS: Astronauts successfully move Earth-killing asteroid into geosynchronous orbit! "JESUS CHRIST, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"	As I stare across the scorched field bordering my neighborhood, I wonder: Why did the fire stop? This inferno sprang into existence with finger-snapping quickness, then dissipated into the sky like fire rain falling in reverse. Even the fire marshall was baffled by this strange phenomenon. Given that he hasn't expressed a hint of emotion in the ten years I've known him, his episode of fear (however brief) stirs more dread within me than the blackened earth languishing outside my bedroom window. These infernos raged all over the world last night, then were snuffed out at exactly the same time: 1:03 AM. This can't be a coincidence. Although I'm not religious, I can't help but wonder if God is angry with us. \--- It's been three days since the fires, and now everyone in town has contracted a mysterious disease. None of the local doctors can determine its cause. We're all in perfect health according to their tests, and shouldn't be exhibiting such bizarre symptoms. For example, our corneas bleed at random times, as do our mouths and ears. The pain that accompanies these episodes is excruciating, and often leaves sufferers bedridden for hours. A part of me wishes that the inferno leveled the town last night--for then our suffering would end, and our curse lifted. \--- Last night thirty bolts of lighting struck the hill at the edge of town in rapid succession, leaving the following message burned into the earth: You will bleed for your sins. Read more at r/DailyHorrorStories
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Second Hell is coming along nicely, by the way, the new pandemic was a nice touch. What are you planning for them next? Gonna go old school, give em' a good ol' fashioned flood?" The Archangel was only teasing of course. Sort of. He busied himself with lunch, laying four pieces of bread out on the counter. Behind him God placed his cup back in it's saucer, the china tinkling. "No one would blame you, you know." The Archangel opened cabinets and drawers, plucking out the things he needed. "And really you should be proud of yourself, they lasted so much longer this time! And such neat cultures and food, I was just telling Michael -" The Angel had stopped mid-sentence, turning in place while looking around. "It's - where - God, there's no fridge in this room?" The Angel turned to God, who was staring into his teacup. He waved his hand in the Angel's general direction without looking up. A soft pop, and a fridge had appeared. "Thank you. So anyway, I was just telling Michael that if it weren't for the wars in Your name, and the destruction of the world You gave them, and the needless slaughter of the animals You gave them, and the fact that they just will not stop imprisoning or murdering or raping or -" The Angel had turned with the lunch tray to find God seething. Hands balled into fists, vein in his temple pulsing, chest rising and falling with anger, seething. The Angel took a step back. "Um. Okay. Let's everybody just...breathe" "ITS THE DOGS!" God exploded, fists slamming into the tabletop. "ONLY HALF THE DOGS WOULD COME AND I CAN'T JUST LEAVE THEM THERE WHEN I LET IT BURN OUT!" The Angel stood very still. One bad moment here and he could end up a pile of dust. Maybe he just needs to vent, and really that's reasonable. "THE CATS CAME BACK SO EASILY! THE DOGS WILL NOT COME BACK! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY MEETINGS, HOW MANY PROVISIONS WE HAVE MADE!" God stood and started to pace. "The Parks Committee. The food service because half of them forgot how to hunt, like that's MY fault! The INSTANT REUNIFICATION program! Do they know how much ENERGY it takes to INSTANTLY reunite EVERY dog with their person?!" The Angel raised his eyebrows. "None?" "THAT'S NOT THE POINT! They won't leave their owners behind, and and I can't just kill them all together, the dogs are innocents! IT'S LIKE THE HUMANS FOUND A LOOPHOLE!" God was actually starting to lose it a little, pulling at his hair. He sat back down, rather dramatically in the Angel's opinion, and buried his face in his hands. "The cats got it straight away. We Raptured the cats, then when I can finally explode the sun or whatever I settle on, the people will come here! The...the 'good people' will come here and they'll be together again!" God looked up, panting slightly. The angel sat the tray back down and crossed his arms. "Ah, yes. The famous Cat Rapture of 2024. Didn't that not go over particularly well?" God stared at the Angel for a moment but then looked down. "3.4 % of the remaining population committed suicide -" The Angel started to interject but God hurried on - "Yoooou go ask the cats about that, when I told them that that happened their spokescat said, and I quote, 'eh'." "Okay, first of all you're using finger quotes incorrectly, and secondly, I'm sure if you just explained to the dogs that -" "You don't understand!" God cried. "If the dogs found out that...something like THAT had happened to their owners, I'm afraid...I'm afraid they wouldn't like me as much as before." His voice started to tremble and he lowered his head to the table, covering it with his arms. The Angel sighed. He walked to the table and sat the food tray down next to God's tea. "Eat something." "I'm not hungry." God wouldn't look up, and it sounded like he was crying a little. "Okay. God. Look at me." "No." "Okay. Listen. We are going to figure this out. Okay?" "...Really?" "Yes. In fact, I am going to personally take over negotiations, let's take a little off your plate here. Pun intended, right? Oh, stop crying, here, who is their...leader, who have you been speaking with?" God finally looked up, wiping his eyes. "They change it every day so that it's fair. I think today Princess Lady Face is in charge." The Angel stared back blankly for a moment. "Princess Lady - they change it every day? So I'll only talk to...Princess Lady Face once and then it'll switch?" "Don't worry," God said as he picked up a sandwich. "She's a good girl." The angel pinched the bridge of his nose. "They are ALL good dogs, God, that's why we're having this conversation. All dogs go to Heaven." They sat staring at one another for a moment before bursting into laughter. Once they'd gathered themselves the angel said "Okay, I think we need to come at this a different way, we need human representation. Who do we have that's good with animals?" It was like a light switched on inside God's head. His eyes lit up and widened at the prospect. He stood slowly and then fixed his burning gaze on the angel. "Yes, my Lord?" Smiling, God said "Get me Steve Irwin."	We'd made a deal. That day when the lightning had come without the thunder, when fires had sprouted like flowers in the spring rains. Our house of cards in an autumn gale; our walls of glass in a hailstorm. I'd been there when he'd made his decision, and I'd been there when he changed his mind. "We're your masterpiece," I'd said, and the lightning ceased. A tornado descended, thunder's drums finally beat. "Are you?" he asked when he was before me in his celestial form. Not human, because we weren't masterpiece enough; not inhuman, because we were as good as he'd managed to make. I shrugged. I'd not expected it to work. I'd expected the next lightning bolt to smite me; the flood to come to drown me. "Sure." "I thought you more a defect," he retorted. He wasn't wrong. We were that last line of code on the day of the release, slipped in with the hope that it wouldn't all fall apart. But it had. Not in a day and not in a year, but thousands of years later and we'd all but done what he couldn't bring himself to do. "Just let it be," I urged. What I took to be his arms crossed; what I took to be his face furrowed deep with thought. He tapped his foot and the earth quaked. "Trust me," I pressed. "We'll take care of it ourselves." "How's that?" I gestured vaguely. At the desert, vast as the sole of his foot under which he'd crush us. At the sky, distant as could be as it soaked up our prayers. At where we stood, that was once a luscious forest full of flora and fauna. "Another blink for you, probably. A lifetime or two for someone like me. Before you know it, we'll be gone." "Why?" I scoffed. Who fucking knew? "Human nature, I guess. You tell me. You made us." I didn't expect him to know. I'd written code like that before--so complex and muddled that even I didn't know what it'd been designed to do. That was us. "Look, just take a break. Sit back and let the prayers fade into the darkness. Like you have been. We'll take care of getting rid of us for you." I could somehow see amusement in that indecipherable swirl of sand and dust. "Fine," he said. "Keep doing what you're doing and we have a deal." Figuratively, we shook. I knew us better than our own creator did. Things could change, but we never would. ***** Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"My Son, I have officially run out of ideas..." Couldn't you give them another chance, Father? "No, they are too far gone. They have walked the path of sin for centuries. I have tried to correct them with even the most extreme of measures. Yet even two global wars with the most despicable atrocities were not enough to unite them. Even after, they became more divided. A pure common goal of exploration and discovery was not even enough to set them upon the true path of harmony." I understand, Father. Maybe it is for the best that we start anew. "But I cannot begin new endeavors while they still live. They have progressed too far in knowledge and capability. I have used new wars, plagues, natural disasters, and more yet they seem to be persistent in continuing..." Maybe you are not going far enough, Father. Maybe you should try some of your methods during the time of your Dinosaurs? "NO, it would revert progress too much on this world. Too much life would be lost..." Not all life was lost last time, Father. Don't you remember? The world healed itself and life, the little that survived, persisted and later flourished. "Maybe you are right, My Son. Perhaps extreme circumstances require drastic measures..." BREAKING NEWS: Astronauts successfully move Earth-killing asteroid into geosynchronous orbit! "JESUS CHRIST, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"	We'd made a deal. That day when the lightning had come without the thunder, when fires had sprouted like flowers in the spring rains. Our house of cards in an autumn gale; our walls of glass in a hailstorm. I'd been there when he'd made his decision, and I'd been there when he changed his mind. "We're your masterpiece," I'd said, and the lightning ceased. A tornado descended, thunder's drums finally beat. "Are you?" he asked when he was before me in his celestial form. Not human, because we weren't masterpiece enough; not inhuman, because we were as good as he'd managed to make. I shrugged. I'd not expected it to work. I'd expected the next lightning bolt to smite me; the flood to come to drown me. "Sure." "I thought you more a defect," he retorted. He wasn't wrong. We were that last line of code on the day of the release, slipped in with the hope that it wouldn't all fall apart. But it had. Not in a day and not in a year, but thousands of years later and we'd all but done what he couldn't bring himself to do. "Just let it be," I urged. What I took to be his arms crossed; what I took to be his face furrowed deep with thought. He tapped his foot and the earth quaked. "Trust me," I pressed. "We'll take care of it ourselves." "How's that?" I gestured vaguely. At the desert, vast as the sole of his foot under which he'd crush us. At the sky, distant as could be as it soaked up our prayers. At where we stood, that was once a luscious forest full of flora and fauna. "Another blink for you, probably. A lifetime or two for someone like me. Before you know it, we'll be gone." "Why?" I scoffed. Who fucking knew? "Human nature, I guess. You tell me. You made us." I didn't expect him to know. I'd written code like that before--so complex and muddled that even I didn't know what it'd been designed to do. That was us. "Look, just take a break. Sit back and let the prayers fade into the darkness. Like you have been. We'll take care of getting rid of us for you." I could somehow see amusement in that indecipherable swirl of sand and dust. "Fine," he said. "Keep doing what you're doing and we have a deal." Figuratively, we shook. I knew us better than our own creator did. Things could change, but we never would. ***** Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"Haven't you let this go on long enough?" asked Gabriel, with scorn in his voice. "The Mayans curse you with every passing day. They say you promised to end the world in 2012. Yet, you sit here, buried away from everything you created, watching on like some voyeur who revels in the rise and downfall of lesser beings." The slender old man sighs and smiles, never taking his eyes off the giant swathe of dust in front of him. With a flourish of his hand, he mutters an incantation. The dust swirls and parts like the sea in front of Moses; revealing a polished silver screen. The screen begins to glow with a surreal radiance, before revealing a film of moving images. "Not again," moans Gabriel. "The first reason," interrupts the old man, leaning towards the image, "that the world hasn't ended, is him." A single man wearing a hazmat suit seems to be working in a chamber not unlike the one they are seated in. It is dark, but a neon green luminescence illuminates what looks like a biological station, and a comprehensive chemistry lab. "What's he doing?" asks Gabriel, narrowing his eyes. "Arousing my curiosity," says the old man, stroking his silver beard. "And curiosity, my friend, is every creator's weakness. Gabriel, do you remember how the dinosaurs ended?" "Sure. A shit show of volcanoes, poisonous gases and meteor showers. The mightiest beasts that roamed the lands, succumbing to a little pyrotechnics display." "Exactly. You wouldn't want to see these humans end the same way do you? Where's the fun in that?" Gabriel turns his eyes from the screen and onto the old man. There is fear and apprehension in them. "And what, may I ask, is he creating?" "A curse," whispers the old man, the burden of age heavy in his thin voice. "And he isn't the only one making one either." Gabriel's eyes shoot wide in astonishment. "There are more?" The old man nods warily, two more. "Do you wish to see?" "Do I have a choice?" The old man chuckles, and waves his hand again; drowning the cold, dark chamber in a sea of silver. (End of part 1) [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl0tm86/) [Part 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl0ybmy/) [Part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl10g9f/) [Part 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl1a72c/) [Part 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl1cpp2/) ---------- Thanks for reading :) If you liked this, please consider subscribing to r/whiteshadowthebook for more of my writing!	It was the brothers, of course. In a world filled with monsters, mayhem and even worse, these two kept holding out hope. These two kept going day after day with a simple motto. You know, "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." I tried giving them a reason to stop, because the rest of the world was dull. The rest of the world didn't even notice the classics that had gone and went. These two had gone through the worst I had to offer and still, here they were. Now they hunt me, to end the constant struggle. Let's play this one out and see where this goes.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"My Son, I have officially run out of ideas..." Couldn't you give them another chance, Father? "No, they are too far gone. They have walked the path of sin for centuries. I have tried to correct them with even the most extreme of measures. Yet even two global wars with the most despicable atrocities were not enough to unite them. Even after, they became more divided. A pure common goal of exploration and discovery was not even enough to set them upon the true path of harmony." I understand, Father. Maybe it is for the best that we start anew. "But I cannot begin new endeavors while they still live. They have progressed too far in knowledge and capability. I have used new wars, plagues, natural disasters, and more yet they seem to be persistent in continuing..." Maybe you are not going far enough, Father. Maybe you should try some of your methods during the time of your Dinosaurs? "NO, it would revert progress too much on this world. Too much life would be lost..." Not all life was lost last time, Father. Don't you remember? The world healed itself and life, the little that survived, persisted and later flourished. "Maybe you are right, My Son. Perhaps extreme circumstances require drastic measures..." BREAKING NEWS: Astronauts successfully move Earth-killing asteroid into geosynchronous orbit! "JESUS CHRIST, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"	It was the brothers, of course. In a world filled with monsters, mayhem and even worse, these two kept holding out hope. These two kept going day after day with a simple motto. You know, "Saving people, hunting things, the family business." I tried giving them a reason to stop, because the rest of the world was dull. The rest of the world didn't even notice the classics that had gone and went. These two had gone through the worst I had to offer and still, here they were. Now they hunt me, to end the constant struggle. Let's play this one out and see where this goes.
[WP] God has tried and failed to end the world multiple times since 2015. It's pretty clear something made him indecisive.	"My Son, I have officially run out of ideas..." Couldn't you give them another chance, Father? "No, they are too far gone. They have walked the path of sin for centuries. I have tried to correct them with even the most extreme of measures. Yet even two global wars with the most despicable atrocities were not enough to unite them. Even after, they became more divided. A pure common goal of exploration and discovery was not even enough to set them upon the true path of harmony." I understand, Father. Maybe it is for the best that we start anew. "But I cannot begin new endeavors while they still live. They have progressed too far in knowledge and capability. I have used new wars, plagues, natural disasters, and more yet they seem to be persistent in continuing..." Maybe you are not going far enough, Father. Maybe you should try some of your methods during the time of your Dinosaurs? "NO, it would revert progress too much on this world. Too much life would be lost..." Not all life was lost last time, Father. Don't you remember? The world healed itself and life, the little that survived, persisted and later flourished. "Maybe you are right, My Son. Perhaps extreme circumstances require drastic measures..." BREAKING NEWS: Astronauts successfully move Earth-killing asteroid into geosynchronous orbit! "JESUS CHRIST, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!"	"Haven't you let this go on long enough?" asked Gabriel, with scorn in his voice. "The Mayans curse you with every passing day. They say you promised to end the world in 2012. Yet, you sit here, buried away from everything you created, watching on like some voyeur who revels in the rise and downfall of lesser beings." The slender old man sighs and smiles, never taking his eyes off the giant swathe of dust in front of him. With a flourish of his hand, he mutters an incantation. The dust swirls and parts like the sea in front of Moses; revealing a polished silver screen. The screen begins to glow with a surreal radiance, before revealing a film of moving images. "Not again," moans Gabriel. "The first reason," interrupts the old man, leaning towards the image, "that the world hasn't ended, is him." A single man wearing a hazmat suit seems to be working in a chamber not unlike the one they are seated in. It is dark, but a neon green luminescence illuminates what looks like a biological station, and a comprehensive chemistry lab. "What's he doing?" asks Gabriel, narrowing his eyes. "Arousing my curiosity," says the old man, stroking his silver beard. "And curiosity, my friend, is every creator's weakness. Gabriel, do you remember how the dinosaurs ended?" "Sure. A shit show of volcanoes, poisonous gases and meteor showers. The mightiest beasts that roamed the lands, succumbing to a little pyrotechnics display." "Exactly. You wouldn't want to see these humans end the same way do you? Where's the fun in that?" Gabriel turns his eyes from the screen and onto the old man. There is fear and apprehension in them. "And what, may I ask, is he creating?" "A curse," whispers the old man, the burden of age heavy in his thin voice. "And he isn't the only one making one either." Gabriel's eyes shoot wide in astonishment. "There are more?" The old man nods warily, two more. "Do you wish to see?" "Do I have a choice?" The old man chuckles, and waves his hand again; drowning the cold, dark chamber in a sea of silver. (End of part 1) [Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl0tm86/) [Part 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl0ybmy/) [Part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl10g9f/) [Part 5](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl1a72c/) [Part 6](https://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/flserw/wp_god_has_tried_and_failed_to_end_the_world/fl1cpp2/) ---------- Thanks for reading :) If you liked this, please consider subscribing to r/whiteshadowthebook for more of my writing!
[WP] “Get up soldier, this is the afterlife not a god dammed vacation. We’ve got a war to fight” “Against who?” “God”	I smiled to myself. It seemed even the afterlife was not safe from this thing called war. "Get up!" the same voice bellowed at me. With not a second to spare, I replied: "Yes, sir". Orders were absolute, that was drilled in my head a long time ago. My eyes flew open and my body was standing up straight within a few seconds, I started to march just like the rest. It took a moment to take in the scene in front of me. We were in the middle of a plain field with only wild grass spread out in every direction and a blue cloudless sky to compliment the whole scene. The only thing that looked out of place in this peaceful picture was the huge line of soldiers in front of me. We marched one behind the other in a neat row. Complete silence. Everyone was dressed in the same dark blue uniform, no weapons, just a knife for every warrior. Strange, but I said nothing. Soldiers do not ask questions, they just do as they are told. A couple of minutes ago, in my previous life you might say, I had just been fighting on the front lines of Germany's army in the second world war on earth. There, I was regarded as one of the best soldiers and even respected by my generals. The key to my success was simple - I just did as I was told and didn't question orders. Kill men? I did. Leave comrades to their deaths? I did. Early in life, I had thought I was defective. I felt nothing for every single thing I encountered, living or dead. But war changed that. At my first battle I felt a thrill like never before, it was as if the world had been completely grey before then and only now I saw all it's wonderful colors. The wonderful sound of screams and gunfire had become one of the most pleasant things in my life. Killing was the best of all. A shame that ended so soon, but I guess one can never be fully protected from a stray grenade blowing up in their face. A huge smile had spread across my lips. I had killed hundreds of men on earth and now I had a chance to kill a god. The details of what was happening didn't matter to me in the slightest. I thought I was going to hell for sure, but ended up in heaven.	I swung my head around, but couldn’t see a thing. White light pierced my eyes, stinging them. I heard loud whistling sounds, then explosions that sent tremors up my feet and into my legs. The voice barked at me again. “I said get up, soldier! I ain’t gonna ask again!” My eyes refocused, and the white, burning light faded, and solidified into a vast landscape of white grassy land dappled with dark black streams. Mountains rose above the horizon, beneath a black endless sky. I felt a few drops of warm rain on my shoulders, then it began to pour. I looked up and focused on the source of the barking orders. “If you don’t pick yourself up now, I’m gonna shoot you in the head!” I lifted myself up and felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. Then everything went black and my ears were ringing. Smoke clogged my lungs, and I struggled to move. I felt sensation returning to my skin, and tasted the soot in my nostrils. Time started to move at a normal rate again, and I became aware that I was in the middle of a hellish nightmare. The ringing receded, and I heard the barking orders again. “Follow me or you’re on your own.” I gazed through the haze, and stumbled forward, following the man through the gray mass of smoke. A moment later we had emerged from the mire, and I could finally focus on the man who had been yelling at me. He had an old, weathered face, tan like leather. Wrinkles around the mouth, sad bags beneath the eyes. He’d seen a lot. I didn’t question him, I knew intuitively that I had to do whatever he commanded. He knew me, I could tell. He pointed to a mountain in the distance. “That’s where you’re going.” “What about you ?” I asked. “Don’t ask questions. Take this.” He handed me an old rifle, with a spear on the end, the type they used in the civil war. I laughed under my breath, and the man gave me a reproachful glance. “Looks can deceive. Just pull the trigger, when the time comes.” “When what time comes?” “When you have to kill God.” I didn’t respond. I didn’t even process his statement. I just held the old wooden weapon and stared at the distant, craggy mountain. Looking down at the rifle, I saw a soft white glow peeking through the muzzle. The man handed me a compass, and told me to follow North. Always North, no matter what. Then he took off running in the opposite direction, kicking dust and soot in the air. I felt vibrations coming from that area, and saw flames rising up. I looked at the compass, and slid the rifle behind my back. God... that man was a lunatic. But I was alone now, holding only a compass and an old glowing rifle. I held the compass up so I could see it clearly. A brass hoop with a red and white needle spinning slowly. “North”. The needle spun, and rested pointing toward the monolithic gray mountain peak. Out of pure confusion, I decided to follow my orders. It seemed like a dream. As I walked through the white grass, I realized it was, in fact, ashes covering the ground, and every crevice and crack in the dirt. My foot left deep prints behind me as I stomped through the dusty meadow. It was dead and lifeless, cold and barren here. The explosions had receded, and I was left listening to my own heaving breaths. The mountain seemed to stay the same size, no matter how long I walked. Eventually I would need to rest, yet I felt no fatigue. The terrain began to turn rough and muddy, the white ash more dispersed upon the ground. Suddenly the mountain was in front of me, I had barely noticed it approaching. As I stepped closer, I noticed a cave. The mouth in the facade of the mountain arched over a small cove filled with still water. In the water sat a small rickety boat made of burnished brown wood. As I approached the boat, I could make out detailed carvings. Who would put such effort into something like this, here of all places? Carefully, cautiously, I stepped to the edge of the cove, searching the boat for signs of life. It was sparse and empty aside from a long, weathered oar made of ancient wood. Seeing no other option, I pulled the boat toward me with my boot, and stepped aboard. I held the oar and tested its weight. Perfectly balanced. I scooped it in the water and began to paddle the boat into the cave. As I entered, the space went black, and all I perceived was the sound of water splashing against the oar. The silence was pervasive and painful. I paddled, and didn’t stop until my rifle started to dig into my back. I threw the rifle on the floor of the boat and dropped down, holding my head. I was in the middle of a pitch black cave, blind and alone. I could end it now, and just use the rifle on myself. No. I lifted myself up, and paddled even harder. I didn’t know where I was going, or why, but I was going to finish something for once in my life. Nothing happens by accident, I was supposed to be here. No more quitting, I had to know the truth. I paddled as hard as I could, panting and heaving, water splashing violently. Ahead I saw a warm light. The light grew in intensity, filling the passage. The boat began to float on its own, until I arrived at a bend. I maneuvered around the turn and hit a rocky embankment. I picked up my rifle and slung it over my shoulder, leaping out of the boat in one motion. I kicked the boat away, and followed the sound of laughter, first a slight hum, then a loud raging echo. A tall rising staircase made of thick chunky stone blocks lead upward, way far into the air. I could smell a light steam, like baked bread. As I stepped up the steep stairs, the bread smell and boisterous laughter grew more intense. I began to rush upward, taking two stairs at a time. My heart was racing, and I knew I was close. I saw a red wooden door at the top of the limitless staircase, and threw all of my weight at it. The door flung away, hinges scattering, and I fell to the floor. It was white marble, with black streaks curling like ink in water. “Here he is.” I lifted my throbbing head, surrounded by cackling laughter, a dozen pairs of eyes staring straight through me. I reached back for my rifle, and aimed it in the direction of the voice. “Let me help you.” The man flicked his finger, and I pulled the trigger. Click. “You passed the test, young man. Even at the most unbearable stage, you kept pushing. You could have ended it, you had all the opportunity in the world.” “It wasn’t loaded.” “It never was,” the man said. “What if I’d pulled the trigger, down in the cave?” “Then you would have had to start over. There is no room for quitters here.” “So it’s over now?” The man disappeared, and everything went white. “It’s just begun.”
[WP] To prevent overpopulation, every day random citicens are chosen, who get a bounty on their head, increasing after every day. One day you wake up and see your name on the list	Monday 3/30 * 12:01 AM - My plan worked! Yay, me! I'll dictate more once my heart stops racing. * 12:25 AM - I just stopped at an automated charging station, topped off my two-seater's supercaps, then left in the same direction and drove about five more miles before I stopped and disabled the GPS unit. I drove another couple miles before I turned off my smartwatch's GPS, then I took the next left and headed for my real destination. That, and my navigation history, left about a 20-mile trail toward an acre of undeveloped land out in the woods that I bought a couple of years ago, where a simple concrete-cloth shelter I put up a few months later, and some supplies that a non-serious prepper might choose, had been waiting for this day. Hopefully, that "decoy redoubt" is where they'll think I went--or was trying to go. * 1:45 AM - I have another 100 miles behind me now. In another four hours I'll be deep in the Ozarks and, hopefully, safe. * 6:12 AM - After white-knuckling it for nearly 400 miles, I'm finally here. I re-camouflaged the entrance to the hideout, threw camo netting and some branches over my two-seater after disconnecting the supercaps and backup cells, set the main tripwires, and locked myself into my little redoubt. I'm good for now, so I'll record a few notes and then get some sleep. First, THANKS DAD! You taught me early the importance of being prepared for any reasonable possibility, and I'm alive right now because of those lessons. Back in '21 when you took advantage of the depressed market to buy the Homestead, Mom thought you were nuts. When you fortified the house and hardened the basement, she almost left you and took me with her. And when you stocked the basement with enough supplies and equipment for two years, she came close to having you committed. Then COVID-25 hit and killed nearly 30 percent of the adult population. Mom forgave you, and I learned the lesson HARD. Second, THANKS BOSS! You let me switch to a 2-to-11 AM shift when I suggested that it would give us better coverage to catch overnight issues early, and it did, but it also had me getting ready just before the Drawing and its publication at midnight every day. I'd get up at 11 PM, shower shit & shave, eat breakfast and get dressed, then crawl back into bed to sleep until 12:45 when I had to leave. Until today, anyway... Third, THANKS ODIN PROJECT! Your platform for learning to program was just what I needed to learn to automate my totally illegal Early Warning System. As soon as the Drawing was published this morning, my avatar ran the EWS scripts which downloaded the list, scanned it for my name and info, and then encrypted the relevant data and shot it to my devices. Less than two seconds after it was published, my bedroom lights were strobing, my earbud was chirping, and my smartcontacts were displaying navigational info to get to the decoy redoubt. I was in my two-seater with my bug-out bag less than 90 seconds later. And finally, THANKS ELAINE! If you hadn't slept with Doug, I might have stuck around and tried to convince you to come with me, probably just long enough for you and Doug to kill me for the bounty. You blamed my shift change for your "lapse in judgement," but it's all moot now, because you're just another part of the life in my rear view mirror. * 11:32 AM - I just woke up and checked the net (oh yeah, thanks StarLink for having an ID-less prepaid plan!) and over 99% of today's Drawing has already been retired. The rest are holed up in houses and apartments, or have gone on the lam like me. It's amazing to me how the large majority of people sign up for organ donation rather than face the bounty hunters. When their number is drawn, they just drive straight to the nearest transplant hospital and turn themselves in. What's that about? * 5:48 PM - It's starting to get dark so I'm wrapping things up now. I've brought everything in from the two-seater (including the supercaps), inventoried most of my supplies and equipment, finished setting the tripwires, and sealed the blackout curtains. If somebody finds me now, they deserve me. More on the nets--they've found almost everyone from today's Drawing. Only three remain: A former special-forces guy, a gang member, and me. Honestly I'm kinda surprised that the gang member wasn't retired before breakfast! That's usually how it happens, once his friends see the opportunity for some quick and easy money. Maybe there's something special about this one. I only slept for three hours this morning so I can quickly re-sync my sleep cycle to be up and down with the sun. Now I'm going to hit it early, and get up about an hour before sunrise so I can do some quick reconnoitering. * 6:11 AM - I've lived through my first 24 hours at the redoubt. What a difference a day makes! The net says it's just me and the gang member now, a guy named Enrico "Nine Guns" Salvador. Sounds like a badass. Three other gangbangers are dead, they say, apparently after trying to take him for the bounty. One of them, they claim, was his girlfriend. One of the ex-spec ops guy's old buddies got him late last night, cashing in on an old grudge as soon as it was legal. Two of my tripwires had been touched overnight. When I DL'ed the images from the wildlife cameras covering them, I found some great shots of a coyote mom and her pups. I moved those wires up a bit so the 'yotes can go under them from now on. [to be continued]	Light flickered through the shutters the golden rays of soft drifting light passing through the room. Small motes collasing next to the faint bounty notification hanging in the periphery of my vision. Cold tenderals of gear quickly grabbing my heart, freezing it in place from it's mear volatile presence. A dull knocking on my apartment door pulling me from my stopper as I hobbled out of bed. A small stop in my living room giving me a chance to grab a pistol from underneath a cushion the door bell now rapidly ringing through my sanctuary. My weapon quickly shifted into my right hand behind the door as I stepped up to the knob and pulled. Blinding light suddenly spilling in from the skylights above as soon as the door slightly cracked open. "I'm here?" Slowly my eyes adjusted in the blinding light, a vague figure towering over me. "Are you Ciathis Verdant? I am officer Langley from the Seattle police department. I have grim news to deliver." . "Yea I know I have a bounty I got the notification on my virtual aid how much is it?" Carefully the officer pulled a folded note out of his civilian clothing and forced into my open palm eyes quickly looking both directions. "Good luck you are going to need it" his stride quickly taking the young officer down toward the plaza elevator. My door quickly slammed shut as I unfolded the note a long badly cropped death warrant of those fifty wanted today. Five away from the bottom in red pen was my information written into the sheet of paper sealing my fate. Ciathis Verdant, 2003, McCall, Seattle,15 million each word taking me deeper into my apartment as I sprinted over to my closet. Hangers full of similar jackets were thrown apart as I parted the cover, a medieval-esk plate armor hanging along the back of the wall. Faint fluorescent lighting illuminating my pride and joy of a browning fifty caliber as an echoing crack came from my front door. Shards of wood thrown onto the floor my hands crumpling the note in my fist. . I stepped into the closet closing the door behind the attempts to break my door down becoming increasingly loud as I pulled on the armor. Each piece perfectly sized as I pulled the LMG off of the wall and the front door shattered outside as I loaded the weapon. Several footsteps passing my hiding place towards my kitchen each heavy and loud as I finished resetting the belt. "I told you that he wouldn't be here Jenson we are tracking a former hunter worth fifteenth mil." Slowly I pushed the door handle open the hinges creaking"Quite did you hear that Tony." Suddenly the tension in the air becoming so thick you could cut it with a knife as I stepped out of my armory. Two shadows facing towards my location in the dim light entirely visible in front of the failing shutter. "This is my house you meatball scum suckers" my gloved hand bringing the muzzle to bearing as I pulled the trigger. A heavy thunderstorm suddenly erupting inside of my house as both of the figures fell to the ground, my window now full of neat round holes.
[WP] Bioengineers have created BioCore. The stomach is replaced with a battery-like biomechanical organ that gives the body sustenance without the need for food. The larger population has since decided to have the organ transplant. Something strange and unsettling has been happening to these people.	By the year 2200, most of the earth's resources were completely depleted. Although space-faring technology was promising, as was the concept of space colonies and the long-term habitation of enormous space stations, 99.8% of the world's 18 billion or so inhabitants still lived as earthbound as ever. The citizens and governments of the world had long known about the approaching problem of running out of energy; the lifeblood of our factories, cars, planes, cities, and way of life. But when that problem was finally satisfied by advanced, personal solar power systems and nuclear reactors by 2175, the real problem showed itself. The entire earth was starving. Nearly a third of the planet had been rendered almost unusable by failed experiments to create the now ubiquitous personal nuclear reactors. The desperate attempts to address the impending energy scarcity the globe was facing didn't take into account the massive ecological damage they were doing, at least until it was far too late. The other two thirds, crammed full of 18 billion human beings in varying states of existence, from prosperity to abject poverty, left very little room for growing fruits and vegetables, raising livestock, or even factories to produce the bland personal nutritional rations that had become legal currency in many countries. An entire black market developed around food. A homecooked meal, with exquisite ingredients such as real meat, fresh vegetables, and seasonal fruit was a delicacy that few could afford, save for the tremendously rich. The pure, animalistic pleasure derived from the tastes, textures, and sensations of real food drove violence, gang activity, and trade operations amongst elite businessmen. Many children grew into adults having only ever had never-ending amounts of PNR's and the occasional nutritional shake. A lucky few maybe received a cherished and carefully guarded portion of some delicacy for a special occasion; a birthday, graduation, or wedding. So even I have to admit that the public fervor created when BioOrganica announced their revolutionary invention was justified. It was called BioCore, an ingenious creation that would deliver humanity from chaos, anarchy, and starvation and lead the human race back into stability. The BioCore was a miracle of engineering: A complete replacement of nearly the entire human gastrointestinal tract with one marvelous contraption, a sleek system of tubes, wires, reactors, and panels wrapped tightly in a waterproof membrane. The BioCore made survival possible. It fulfilled mankind's most unattainable and ancient dream; the dream to finally be freed from the worry of famine and drought. Electrical attachments hardwired into the connective tissues of the skin turned every person implanted with the BioCore into a human solar reactor; shuttling energy through wires that twisted and turned along veins and capillaries until it reached the main processor. There, technology borrowed from Mother Nature replicated the sophisticated energy system of photosynthesis, substituting the animal practice of breaking down macronutrients into their constituent electrons for the more efficient plant practice of funneling those electrons directly into the production of massive amounts of ATP. The BioCore produced enough adenosine triphosphate, the universal energy currency, to power not only its host human but most of their household electronics through direct energy transfer as well. It was a miracle, nearly perfect. The only problem, a lack of essential vitamins, minerals, and structural proteins and fats, was initially delivered via monthly stim-packs at local pharmacies. Later models of the BioCore boasted advanced autophagy capabilities and were able to recycle junk cells and basic environmental matter into suitable building materials. Humans were finally, completely, self-sufficient. New Year's Day 2207 was christened New Advent. By global government decree, all individuals under the age of 18 were implanted with BioCore systems for free. Most adults were as well, gladly paying often eye-watering fees, or liquidating most of their possessions for the privilege. Only a few individuals, such as myself, declined, content to scavenge on the suddenly liberated food supply. And for a while, everything was great. A peaceful hush, a pause, a rest, seemed to fall over the planet like a weighted blanket. But it was the calm before the storm. Panic and necessity are blinding. A good idea is turned into a great one, a perfect one, by the tunnel-visioned mania caused by a time-sensitive problem. And so it was with BioCore. The problem should have been obvious. Although most research not focused purely on human survival had been phased out by 2025, scientists had already identified the enteric nervous system in the GI tract to be tremendously important in mood, mental health, and the human experience. Before the Dark Ages of the 2100s, scientists had made great strides in identifying the nearly mystical ways that the gut microbiome interacted with the rest of our bodies, to produce one harmonious whole. Humans have always been less human, than human, technically. The majority of DNA contained within our bodies is not that of our own. The BioCore removed all of that. It enabled survival, but it doomed humanity. The first "Statues" began to be discovered in late 2207. People, standing or sitting perfectly still, most often in areas of strong sunlight. They seemed to be impervious to outside stimulation of any kind. Some shied away from acute temperature extremes, by reflex, moving a foot or so at most. Most did nothing. Autopsies showed an incredibly healthy body. Any wounds inflicted upon the stricken, who were quickly dubbed "Statues", quickly scabbed over with strong, fibrous bands of connective tissue, weeping a thick, sticky lymph. There was no sign of any degenerative disease, cancer, or virus. Even the DNA was intact. The one outlier was a complete lack of higher brain function. The autonomic, reptilian brain hummed along smoothly, carrying out maintenance tasks with ease and efficiency. But there was no humanity left in these shells. The epidemic spread as treatments failed. By mid-2208, the world was in a panic as the oldest recipients of the BioCore had nearly all transitioned into silent effigies of their former selves. No one had been brought back to normal. By 2209, only the youngest BioCore recipients were left. Entire cities were enveloped by nature; vines, trees, and shrubs growing over and around thousands of silent, still, perfectly functional human shells. Human statues, covered in moss, mold, and lichen existed only as motionless parodies of what they once were. A million or so humans are all that is left, I would estimate, survivors of the chaos of 2208. The painful, heaving death spasms of a dying race were...spectacular. The quickly succumbing billions, filled with an existential fear, knew no mercy, or rational thought. Whole cities burned, the flickering light casting grotesque shadows on the Statues who seemed blissfully unaware of the nightmare around them. I have always been somewhat of a loner and I still am now. I've found a peaceful life, living in one of the few untouched mountain ranges in the former North American continent with my wife, who I met while gathering supplies in one of my rare trips into a doomed town. We're expecting our first child and we're pretty comfortable in our homestead. Humanity will rebuild; hopefully having learned the lesson that perfection and certainly are antithetical to the very nature of humanity. I don't know what will become of the Statues. It's been five years and there has been no change in them. I doubt there ever will be. But I avoid them as much as possible. The atmosphere of doomed cities, towns, and villages is pervasive and depressing. No matter how often you see them, the blank stares of the endlessly functioning Statues are...unsettling. And I can't get rid of the fear that somewhere within each of them, their consciousness may be intact, cut off from voluntary control of its shell, severed by the removal of its critical parts, but endlessly screaming a silent scream.	In the beginning of development, the engineers had conducted their testing on various species of apes. These apes had shown minor side-effects, all of which were thought to be mitigated through spontaneous adjustments involving the particular chemicals that make the organ work. These adjustments were not all accounted for as BioCore was held to a high standard to deliver their profound achievement to their shareholders. When the organ was rushed through all the health administrators and officials to put it to use, they didn't exactly expect the trouble that BioCore would create. Patient Zero, who's name was Mark McDowell was the first to demonstrate these side-effects. It all began on a Saturday morning when he left his studio apartment to go to the pharmacy. His prescribed doctor was stationed at the nearby BioCore medical facility. Mark's doctor had prescribed him some simple medication to help his body not reject the new organ. Mark was a little late, according to his structure, upon arriving at the small pharmacy which was named, Jack's Drugs. So Mark ran there and worked up a little bit of sweat, he quickly open the door to welcome the A/C. "Good afternoon, welcome to Jack's, is there anything I can help you with sir?..." The lady in the back of the pharmacy peeked over and waved to let Mark know that he is welcomed with good customer service. "Just...need to pick up me meds that my new doctor gave me." "Oh good! let me get that ready for you, what is your name and date of birth?" The lady was a older but moved with haste in eagerness as if she was dying of boredom. "Mark McDowell, March 5th, 1984..." "...Okay let's see here...Oh...there is a note here that's attached to your name..." Mark looked at the lady as she expressed focus to hurry and help him. He saw how she began to read out loud the note but then suddenly faded to a silent reading of the lips. Her faced dropped from her regular expression to a face of seriousness. It was as if she had read something that almost caused her to be concerned. Mark's brow twitched as she read, noticing the change in facial expression. "Is everything okay? I should be expecting a medication from BioCore" "Yes! yes yes yes so sorry, I just had never seen a note like this from them, so I was just making sure that everything seems right. It says here to make sure that you drink at least a gallon of water after taking this medication" "Oh okay, that's interesting" Mark didn't expect to be told that as the Doctor had already explained the medication that was going to be given to him. "Well that's fine, is there anything else?" "Hmmm, not exactly, everything is just information for me, but everything else seems to be in order. Here is your medication, our phone number is on the bag if you have any questions." "Okay sounds great, have a great day" "You too!" The lady seemed to be an expert of multitasking, as if she had been doing this job for a long time. Mark turned and began to walk out when from behind he noticed her voice ask one of the other staff members, "Hey where is the phone, I need to make a quick call." Mark could have thought nothing since he knows that most pharmacies were busy, but this place wasn't, that's not the impression when we walked in. Without even thinking, Mark turned to look out curiosity and noticed the woman on the phone already looking at Mark, speaking into the phone. Making eye contact, the woman quickly looked away and walked around the corner of the shelf that held other medications. He thought to himself, She wasn't talking about me was she? Mark shrugged it off and walked outside, opened the bag, opened his medication bottle after glancing at the instructions, and popped a pill. It was a chew pill. Tasted like fake banana flavoring and gasoline. Within minutes, Mark began to feel light headed. Suddenly, he felt dizzy and started to stumble. Mark fell on his hands, and to his shock, his hands started feel extremely heavy. The ground below them started to crack and rumble. An intense pain began to occur inside of marks stomach. He couldn't move his hands, the ground kept cracking and shaking. With fear, adrenaline, and confusion overwhelming him, he passed out. To be continued...
[WP] Bioengineers have created BioCore. The stomach is replaced with a battery-like biomechanical organ that gives the body sustenance without the need for food. The larger population has since decided to have the organ transplant. Something strange and unsettling has been happening to these people.	By the year 2200, most of the earth's resources were completely depleted. Although space-faring technology was promising, as was the concept of space colonies and the long-term habitation of enormous space stations, 99.8% of the world's 18 billion or so inhabitants still lived as earthbound as ever. The citizens and governments of the world had long known about the approaching problem of running out of energy; the lifeblood of our factories, cars, planes, cities, and way of life. But when that problem was finally satisfied by advanced, personal solar power systems and nuclear reactors by 2175, the real problem showed itself. The entire earth was starving. Nearly a third of the planet had been rendered almost unusable by failed experiments to create the now ubiquitous personal nuclear reactors. The desperate attempts to address the impending energy scarcity the globe was facing didn't take into account the massive ecological damage they were doing, at least until it was far too late. The other two thirds, crammed full of 18 billion human beings in varying states of existence, from prosperity to abject poverty, left very little room for growing fruits and vegetables, raising livestock, or even factories to produce the bland personal nutritional rations that had become legal currency in many countries. An entire black market developed around food. A homecooked meal, with exquisite ingredients such as real meat, fresh vegetables, and seasonal fruit was a delicacy that few could afford, save for the tremendously rich. The pure, animalistic pleasure derived from the tastes, textures, and sensations of real food drove violence, gang activity, and trade operations amongst elite businessmen. Many children grew into adults having only ever had never-ending amounts of PNR's and the occasional nutritional shake. A lucky few maybe received a cherished and carefully guarded portion of some delicacy for a special occasion; a birthday, graduation, or wedding. So even I have to admit that the public fervor created when BioOrganica announced their revolutionary invention was justified. It was called BioCore, an ingenious creation that would deliver humanity from chaos, anarchy, and starvation and lead the human race back into stability. The BioCore was a miracle of engineering: A complete replacement of nearly the entire human gastrointestinal tract with one marvelous contraption, a sleek system of tubes, wires, reactors, and panels wrapped tightly in a waterproof membrane. The BioCore made survival possible. It fulfilled mankind's most unattainable and ancient dream; the dream to finally be freed from the worry of famine and drought. Electrical attachments hardwired into the connective tissues of the skin turned every person implanted with the BioCore into a human solar reactor; shuttling energy through wires that twisted and turned along veins and capillaries until it reached the main processor. There, technology borrowed from Mother Nature replicated the sophisticated energy system of photosynthesis, substituting the animal practice of breaking down macronutrients into their constituent electrons for the more efficient plant practice of funneling those electrons directly into the production of massive amounts of ATP. The BioCore produced enough adenosine triphosphate, the universal energy currency, to power not only its host human but most of their household electronics through direct energy transfer as well. It was a miracle, nearly perfect. The only problem, a lack of essential vitamins, minerals, and structural proteins and fats, was initially delivered via monthly stim-packs at local pharmacies. Later models of the BioCore boasted advanced autophagy capabilities and were able to recycle junk cells and basic environmental matter into suitable building materials. Humans were finally, completely, self-sufficient. New Year's Day 2207 was christened New Advent. By global government decree, all individuals under the age of 18 were implanted with BioCore systems for free. Most adults were as well, gladly paying often eye-watering fees, or liquidating most of their possessions for the privilege. Only a few individuals, such as myself, declined, content to scavenge on the suddenly liberated food supply. And for a while, everything was great. A peaceful hush, a pause, a rest, seemed to fall over the planet like a weighted blanket. But it was the calm before the storm. Panic and necessity are blinding. A good idea is turned into a great one, a perfect one, by the tunnel-visioned mania caused by a time-sensitive problem. And so it was with BioCore. The problem should have been obvious. Although most research not focused purely on human survival had been phased out by 2025, scientists had already identified the enteric nervous system in the GI tract to be tremendously important in mood, mental health, and the human experience. Before the Dark Ages of the 2100s, scientists had made great strides in identifying the nearly mystical ways that the gut microbiome interacted with the rest of our bodies, to produce one harmonious whole. Humans have always been less human, than human, technically. The majority of DNA contained within our bodies is not that of our own. The BioCore removed all of that. It enabled survival, but it doomed humanity. The first "Statues" began to be discovered in late 2207. People, standing or sitting perfectly still, most often in areas of strong sunlight. They seemed to be impervious to outside stimulation of any kind. Some shied away from acute temperature extremes, by reflex, moving a foot or so at most. Most did nothing. Autopsies showed an incredibly healthy body. Any wounds inflicted upon the stricken, who were quickly dubbed "Statues", quickly scabbed over with strong, fibrous bands of connective tissue, weeping a thick, sticky lymph. There was no sign of any degenerative disease, cancer, or virus. Even the DNA was intact. The one outlier was a complete lack of higher brain function. The autonomic, reptilian brain hummed along smoothly, carrying out maintenance tasks with ease and efficiency. But there was no humanity left in these shells. The epidemic spread as treatments failed. By mid-2208, the world was in a panic as the oldest recipients of the BioCore had nearly all transitioned into silent effigies of their former selves. No one had been brought back to normal. By 2209, only the youngest BioCore recipients were left. Entire cities were enveloped by nature; vines, trees, and shrubs growing over and around thousands of silent, still, perfectly functional human shells. Human statues, covered in moss, mold, and lichen existed only as motionless parodies of what they once were. A million or so humans are all that is left, I would estimate, survivors of the chaos of 2208. The painful, heaving death spasms of a dying race were...spectacular. The quickly succumbing billions, filled with an existential fear, knew no mercy, or rational thought. Whole cities burned, the flickering light casting grotesque shadows on the Statues who seemed blissfully unaware of the nightmare around them. I have always been somewhat of a loner and I still am now. I've found a peaceful life, living in one of the few untouched mountain ranges in the former North American continent with my wife, who I met while gathering supplies in one of my rare trips into a doomed town. We're expecting our first child and we're pretty comfortable in our homestead. Humanity will rebuild; hopefully having learned the lesson that perfection and certainly are antithetical to the very nature of humanity. I don't know what will become of the Statues. It's been five years and there has been no change in them. I doubt there ever will be. But I avoid them as much as possible. The atmosphere of doomed cities, towns, and villages is pervasive and depressing. No matter how often you see them, the blank stares of the endlessly functioning Statues are...unsettling. And I can't get rid of the fear that somewhere within each of them, their consciousness may be intact, cut off from voluntary control of its shell, severed by the removal of its critical parts, but endlessly screaming a silent scream.	Years ago we experienced a breakthrough that gave the human race everything we could have imagined. World hunger was finally solved, Nobel prizes were awarded, and work forces were stronger and more productive than ever. Gone were the days of sluggish performance from fast food overload. And people young and healthy enough for this irreversible surgery lined right up to become one of the Repleted. Sure, some people died but no more than most other surgeries. And other relatively normal things: accidents, shooting, aggressive diseases, etc. But the engineered GI tract replacements worked amazingly, and the stability was beyond what anyone could have predicted. And, to add to the benefits, when you supply a body with an unlimited clean energy source things don't deteriorate in the same way. Bodies that got the surgery looked and functions the same way indefinitely. And for many years we could not have been happier. But humans don't take to immortality well. The brains and minds still burn out. They turn primal. Luckily no hunger, so no "Braaiiins". But territorial, aggresive, and ... well, indiscriminately horny. We thought there was a "baby boom" back in the twentieth century. This is nuclear and there aren't any parents with mind enough to take care of them. We have no infrastructure to feed everyone and obviously refuse to create any more of the Repleted. And on top of that keeping the hordes of mindless Repleted at bay is a monstrous burden. So, accepting the reality of how things are, I'd like to welcome whats left of the World's government and military leaders to this round table. To come to an agreement about how we should deal with: the immortal hordes that plague our nations, caring for the immense youth population, feeding the people...And deciding the fates of the Repleted that are yet to lose their humanity, which includes many of us here today. (Not a writer so sorry for the quality, and lack of organization(just had a small idea))
[WP] Bioengineers have created BioCore. The stomach is replaced with a battery-like biomechanical organ that gives the body sustenance without the need for food. The larger population has since decided to have the organ transplant. Something strange and unsettling has been happening to these people.	Miriam Handle spontaneously combusted on the corner of 23rd and Broadway on April 6th, 2143. Her death was ruled a traffic accident. The news called it a tragic event. The story went that a car slid into a post, leaked fuel, and ignited both the street and Miriam. The internet exploded with the news. Traffic cams that recorded the incident were scrubbed. Cell phone footage only showed the results after the fire already started, not before. The one video that showed the incident in full--accidentally captured by a vlogger on a nearby rooftop--was dragged through the media as doctored footage. To the world, Miriam Handle’s death was a tragic accident. One that used to be commonplace in the early days of vehicles, but was rare nowadays. Jonah Davidson was one of the few people to know the truth about Miriam Handle. On April 7th, his supervisor called him into her office, shoved the report in his hand, and hissed, “deal with it” in his ear. After, she turned back to her computer and kept working on the designs for BioCure’s newest project: a heart that would never stop beating. Jonah knew Miriam in the way that he knew many people in New York--he had been the one to fit her BioCore. He’d done it hundreds of times. It was a simple task to tweak the original design to fit each person. Some small adjustments of the dimensions and he’d be ready to go. Miriam had been in his office only a few months prior. “New years resolution,” she said. She shifted on the hard plastic seat. “I want to lose fifteen pounds.” Jonah nodded and entered the information on his tablet. Many people cited weight loss as their main reason for choosing a BioCore. He learned long ago it was best not to comment. Miriam didn’t seem perturbed by Jonah’s lack of comment. “What does it feel like?” Jonah looked up. “Well, many people report a warm feeling where their stomach used to be. Like if you drank a cup of hot tea too quickly.” Miriam eyed Jonah. Her dark curls hung at her shoulder. Under the heavy layer of makeup, she looked small. “How did it feel for you?” “It was warm, at first, but I don’t notice it anymore,” Jonah lied with a practiced smile. Miriam nodded and their appointment continued. Jonah couldn’t remember what else they talked about. The weather, probably. The subway, maybe. It didn’t really matter. His office smelled like antiseptic, like it always did. His peace lily wilted next to his computer. The books on the shelf in the back corner were coated in a thin layer of dust. It was the same as the every other day. But Jonah couldn’t get his words out of his head. If he admitted that he didn’t have a BioCore, would Miriam still have gone through with it? Would she still be alive? Jonah pulled up the specs of the device he designed for Miriam. He hunted for a mistake. There were none. Again. How many times had he done this now? Jonah pulled off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took in a shaky breath and stood. He picked the file of the death of Miriam Handle from his desk, tucked it under his arm, and made his way down the halls of BioCure. The white light, designed to imitate sunlight, flooded over the sterile halls. When he reached filing room 15, he tapped his card against the pad and entered his pin. He added the file of Miriam Handle to the cabinet. Case number four-hundred and thirty-three. They’d only get harder to cover up. Jonah tapped his foot on the tile and looked over the rows. Most of the filing system was still empty, for now. He pressed his lips into a hesitant line. As much as he wanted to sit and contemplate, he didn’t have the time. His next appointment for a BioCore fitting was due in twenty minutes. --- /r/liswrites	We tried to wake up God but there was something else lying, waiting, in His bed. The procedure to swap out a stomach for a Plexus unit was almost infinitely complex and carried with it a high mortality risk -- but having it inserted quickly became a legal requirement. There was no choice, and we all knew it, and we all accepted it. The sun was dying; it had developed huge, permanent black dots, and for hours at a time, it vanished altogether. Whether dark-matter had somehow poisoned it or we were a dying simulation, we didn't know. Didn't care all that much, either. All we knew was earth had near-frozen and food had become scarce. Solar power was unreliable and crops could only be grown in heated, lighted domes. The Plexus promised to save us from starvation and from further wars over resources. A stomach that could digest weeds and worse, that could take water from air even as you walked. A breakthrough that some referred to as "God's Body". Sure, three percent of us would die on the operating table. But vastly more would starve to death if we didn't do it. So, we celebrated. &#x200B; When I turned sixteen Dad drove me to the hospital for my operation. "Proud of you," he said, for the first and last time that I can remember. "You're doing God's service today. Saving lives by having this metal gut put in." He patted his own stomach. Didn't smile though, and I don't think he was really proud of me. Just, relieved. Relieved to be free of the burden I'd been on him. A scarf that had been tied too tight around his neck, that was finally going to be loosened. His encouragement didn't help my anxiety, either; I could be surrendering my own life on the operating table in just a few short hours. Like Mom had done. He never talked of her. Not since her funeral. Do you even remember what Mom smelled like? I thought but didn't say. "Do you remember what food tastes like?" I said but didn't think. He laughed soullessly. "I like to forget my own cooking. I think you'd prefer to forget it, too." &#x200B; He didn't smile on the way home, either. When they told him that I was a genetic freak and that the unit wouldn't take to me, and that, unless there were developments, I'd need to continue to be fed. Dad glanced at me and I could see, maybe not hate, but certainly resentment. Like I was a pile of money sitting right next to him and had been lit on fire; he was going to have to spend every spare penny just keeping me alive, like he'd always done. Money he'd spent the last few months dreaming how he'd spend. "I'm sorry," I said. As if the flaws I inherited were my fault alone. He nodded and forced a plastic looking smile over his face. "It is what it is. We'll make do. Always have done." &#x200B; I left home on my eighteenth birthday and got a job in a picking-dome. Didn't pay much, and the hours was long -- but I got a meal at the end of each day, and I got somewhere to sleep. Fruit was a luxury for adults but a necessity for kids, and the work was steady. "You're doing great," Lynne , my boss, would say at the end of each day. "You keep this up and maybe there will be a future for you." And that made me feel good. Honest work, honest complements. Something I wasn't so used to. Every month, I'd visit Dad. I'd bring my own dinner and he'd sit and smoke and talk to me. One month when I went over, he'd just purchased a new car; said it made him happy, but his eyes looked just as dull and dead as they'd ever done, and I think he knew then that his happiness was six-foot beneath the ground, and neither a new car or his son coming for dinner would change that. I told Dad about my work. How it was hard and my back ached, but I kind of enjoyed it. And he laughed and told me about his first job washing cars, and that he'd never been happier, in some ways, than back then. That life had at least been simple and stable. "I'm happy now, I think," I told him. "You're doing great," he said. "You keep this up and maybe there will be a future for you." I froze. "What did you say?" He shrugged. "That there might be a future for you." A shiver skated down my back. "What do you mean?" His lips twitched and he squeezed his eyes shut. Then he opened them and said, "I mean at work. Could be a promotion. Could be a long term career." "Oh." His hand was shaking. Trembling. Like he was trying to fight something, but he was too weak to keep it at bay. "Dad?" Are you okay?" He gasped, his eyes seemed glazed as if he was drunk. "Go!" he said. "Go, now. You have to get away. Somewhere rural. A fucking mountain. Go, before..." "Before what?" He shook his head and Dad was suddenly back. He frowned. "I meant it's getting late. I think I need to hit the hay. You should be getting back to your home." "This still feels like my home." "That feeling will fade. Trust me. Night, son." &#x200B; Three days later, a neighbour found him. The doctor said it was a heart attack. That it must have happened around the night I left him. I already knew, I think, that something else killed him. And that there'd be many more deaths soon to come.
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	(By my 8 year old son) One night I was sleeping outside because one of the cleverest animals were hunting me. The monkeys! I was frightened, and I was dreaming of the world getting crushed by clever animals. The next day I went to the market to get supplies. But there where still animals there! I noticed though they were turtles. They were smart and had high IQ, but they were slow at walking. But do they have a special weapon up their shell? I don’t know, but I wished they didn’t. As I approached them they looked over to me. What is happening to there mouths? It’s like they’re charging a massive beam up! Wait that is what they are doing? I was very surprised to see that they have a special weapon. In my head I was thinking damn it I should have seen that coming! They shot a beam the same time making the sound mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I tried to dodge but there were way too many. I noticed 1 of them stopped and he was wearing MLG glasses. He said, “This is a spirit cannon!” then they stopped. They had no energy. I ran to get a box of matches and 50 packs of delicious meat, big milk bottles, cereal, asparagus, 40 water bottles, I almost forgot Doritos(they are delicious), sushi, nori, cucumbers, eggs and a pan to cook on. I will go get some sticks in the woods later; big and small ones.	"Oy, can't you guys hurry it up a bit?", As the group of bipedal cats charged at me, I calmly squatted down next to their fallen comrade and began rooting through his pockets. "Come on, I swear I saw him light one up earlier.", although the cats had already arrived next to me, I ignored them and continued searching. When I finally found what I was looking for, a pack of cigarettes, I took one out and stuck the rest in my bag. The cats repeatedly swung their weapons at me, but no matter how much they tried, they failed to cut through even a layer of skin. Inhaling the deadly toxins that naturally come with a cigarette, I looked at my attackers. Just like all those before them, they were desperately trying to take me down. Unfortunately for them, they couldn't. "Listen, can't you guys give up yet? You're wasting my time; The longer you lot keep it up, the longer I have to stay here.", seeing that they did not respond, I took a quick look at my arm to make sure I was wearing the bracelet that could translate my words. I knew, of course, why they were attacking me and I didn't blame them. They had gotten pulled into the same game as I was, way back when; All other humans had participated too, for that matter. We were forced into a giant battle royal with several dozen species from different worlds. We managed to survive and grow stronger for a few years, but, ultimately, failed in winning. I don't know if I should count myself lucky, but since I had repeatedly drawn the interest of the 'game masters' during the game, they had pulled me out of the game a moment before I would die. They promised me incredible power and allowed me to join them as a 'game master'. Not wanting to die, I agreed and ended up becoming the immortal supervisor of earth. At first, I thought they were joshing me around since earth's species, humans, had already lost the game and were now extinct, but after tens of thousands of years, another species appeared. Excited to finally have something to do, I assisted their growth and, when they had grown sufficiently, I pulled them into the game. This species, like humans, lost. They completely died out. Not a single one left. Since then, the cycle has repeated itself countless times; a species would evolve, grow, join the game and, ultimately, die. And now, finally, earth was victorious. These cats somehow managed to win. They had done it through hiding until the end, sure, but they still won. When they returned to earth, I was surprised to find that I could follow them. Nostalgic to finally set foot on earth again, I did. I would be recognised as a game master and I would have fights like this one on a daily basis, sure, but I didn't care. I was finally back on earth. &#x200B; &#x200B; &#x200B; \------------------- Went a bit off-topic, but meh ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ r/Nammos_storytime
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	Life in Avila Beach wasn't so bad for Jamie, all things considered. Sure, the extinction of the human race meant no more late night bar crawls or karaoke nights, but over the millennium Jamie had had enough socializing to last him a lifetime, many times over. And, to look on the bright side, the explosion of the nearby nuclear power plant and the ensuing release of deadly radioactive isotopes that now caked the city meant Jamie was safe from all manner of creatures, aside from the occasional washed up shark or whale, begging for Jamie to put them out of their misery. The collective animal kingdom had enslaved his species for decades, before eventually deciding that they were more trouble alive than dead, thus beginning their human extinction initiative. Humans had fought valiantly, but with the one advantage humans had over animals, intelligence, now equalized, they simply didn't stand a chance. Despite all that had occurred, Jamie still felt a twinge of pity for these creatures. He recalled on one particular day, a poor tiger shark had washed up on the shore as Jamie was conducting his daily exercise (mainly a routine Jamie had enacted to maintain his sanity, not for any particular benefit to his health). He remembered how it rocked back and forth on the sand, gasping for air. Its eye rotated in its socket to gaze up at Jamie. "Help me, human, please," The voice box attached to its side croaked out. Jamie tilted his head, uninterested, giving the shark a blank stare. "Please." It asked again. Jamie nodded, bent down to his knees, before ramming his arm down the shark's throat. It writhed back and forth viciously for a few seconds, before laying to rest. Jamie had a funny idea of mercy. On this particular day, however, Jamie was relaxing in his current home, the largest house he had been able to find in the city. Perched on the top of a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean, Jamie felt like a king, and the La-Z-Boy he had lugged all the way from across town from the furniture store was his throne, although his subjects were admittedly few and far between. Without television or the internet, Jamie had resigned to the ancient ways of human entertainment, namely whatever crossword puzzles, toys, or board games he could find on his scavenging journeys. "Endless time in depraved surroundings, 8 letters, hmmph," Jamie murmured to himself, furrowing his brow as he looked at the crossword hint. "Ironic," he laughed before plopping the paper down and heading over to the kitchen to make his new recipe of canned beans and cereal. Jamie reckoned the two flavors probably weren't a particularly good match, but he supposed that with all the time he had on his hands, with enough mixing and matching he would be able to discover a culinary match made in heaven that no one else had considered, simply because the dish wasn't especially easy on the eyes. He opened the can of beans with the can opener and raised it to his nose, sniffing suspiciously. No alarm bells were raised from the smell, so he placed a bowl on the table, flipped the can over and spanked the bottom a few times before the beans plopped out into the bowl with a satisfying "SCHLOP". Jamie took a moment to admire how the beans managed to maintain their solid, cylindrical, can shape. "Human ingenuity, stunning." He muttered before reaching for the Frosted Flakes. "Fuck!" he yelled as a bird came bursting through his kitchen window and onto the kitchen floor in a bloody, feathery, mess. "Jamie! Jamie Jamie! This is for you! It is most urgent!" It squawked. In its claws it clutched a rolled up piece of paper. Jamie was stunned. Acting out of pure instinct, he grabbed the butcher knife from the counter and stabbed the bird through the throat. It immediately lay still. He snatched the rolled up paper from the bird's clutch and opened it. "We know what you are. Please help us. We have gone through great lengths and taken much risk to transmit this message to you. Please see the bottom of this paper for verification. Fort Lauterdale. We will be waiting." He read. As he neared the bottom of the letter his jaw dropped. Taped at the bottom of the paper was something he hadn't seen in decades. A pile of human nail clippings, and beneath that five unique thumb prints. Jamie wasn't sure what to think. Could this be a trap? He knew all humans were extinct. And even if he could get all the way across the country, he knew he could be of no help, the human race was hopelessly doomed. But he had to admit it was a bit exciting, he had seen no adventure here for years, although the small blue jay lying dead on his kitchen floor was a bit of an underwhelming call for adventure. Suddenly, Jamie stood very still. His head perked up, and he looked towards the window. He could hear the distant calls of some birds. "Nothing out of the ordinary," he thought to himself, flocks of birds usually passed near to the town before realizing they were off course and adjusting their flight paths accordingly. But the flock didn't seem to be changing path. No, their caws seemed to get louder, and louder. Eventually Jamie was able to make out what they were saying. "Bird, bird, bird." Closer they came. "Where is the bird, bird, bird." Jamie looked down at the bird between his feet. "Shit," he breathed. "BIRD, BIRD, WHERE IS THE BIRD, BIRD, BIRD?!" He scrambled on top of his kitchen counter, knocking over the Frosted Flakes and bowl of beans in his wake. He stuck his head out of the now broken window and looked to the skies. Overhead, coming towards him, was a massive murder of crows, numbering thousands, possibly tens of thousands, Jamie couldn't be sure. Their caws were deathly screams now. "BIRD! BIRD! WHERE IS THE BIRD!" Jamie was certain they were heading right for him. He ducked back into the house, picked up the piece of paper again, and rushed downstairs.	"Oy, can't you guys hurry it up a bit?", As the group of bipedal cats charged at me, I calmly squatted down next to their fallen comrade and began rooting through his pockets. "Come on, I swear I saw him light one up earlier.", although the cats had already arrived next to me, I ignored them and continued searching. When I finally found what I was looking for, a pack of cigarettes, I took one out and stuck the rest in my bag. The cats repeatedly swung their weapons at me, but no matter how much they tried, they failed to cut through even a layer of skin. Inhaling the deadly toxins that naturally come with a cigarette, I looked at my attackers. Just like all those before them, they were desperately trying to take me down. Unfortunately for them, they couldn't. "Listen, can't you guys give up yet? You're wasting my time; The longer you lot keep it up, the longer I have to stay here.", seeing that they did not respond, I took a quick look at my arm to make sure I was wearing the bracelet that could translate my words. I knew, of course, why they were attacking me and I didn't blame them. They had gotten pulled into the same game as I was, way back when; All other humans had participated too, for that matter. We were forced into a giant battle royal with several dozen species from different worlds. We managed to survive and grow stronger for a few years, but, ultimately, failed in winning. I don't know if I should count myself lucky, but since I had repeatedly drawn the interest of the 'game masters' during the game, they had pulled me out of the game a moment before I would die. They promised me incredible power and allowed me to join them as a 'game master'. Not wanting to die, I agreed and ended up becoming the immortal supervisor of earth. At first, I thought they were joshing me around since earth's species, humans, had already lost the game and were now extinct, but after tens of thousands of years, another species appeared. Excited to finally have something to do, I assisted their growth and, when they had grown sufficiently, I pulled them into the game. This species, like humans, lost. They completely died out. Not a single one left. Since then, the cycle has repeated itself countless times; a species would evolve, grow, join the game and, ultimately, die. And now, finally, earth was victorious. These cats somehow managed to win. They had done it through hiding until the end, sure, but they still won. When they returned to earth, I was surprised to find that I could follow them. Nostalgic to finally set foot on earth again, I did. I would be recognised as a game master and I would have fights like this one on a daily basis, sure, but I didn't care. I was finally back on earth. &#x200B; &#x200B; &#x200B; \------------------- Went a bit off-topic, but meh ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ r/Nammos_storytime
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	The party is getting closer. They will be upon me any minute. If I am being honest with myself, I'm hoping that this time they will succeed. For centuries I have watched as nature has restored itself from the damage done by humans. And the scars humanity still left behind. I look down on my hands. The bright paleness of them is almost blinding. Couldn't there at least be a mark on my skin? To prove that I'm more than the last monument over human hubris. No such luck. Not then. Not now. I don't blame the creatures that are coming for me. After all, I am a constant reminder of a past long gone. Of a time when animals were hunted and their homes destroyed. It served humanity right to wiped out. I can now see the party. Unsurprisingly it is lead by a group of great apes. Most of them are chimpanzees. All the species closest related to humans has evolved to be the same or almost the same intelligence as their long gone cousins. Even then, the most violent group are the chimps. Ironically they have started to behave very similarly to the humans they once so hated. The one in front is holding a primitive spear, shaking it at me while chattering something I can't understand. I know they have a language. All the animals do. But I don't understand any of them. Behind the chimpanzees is a variety of other animals. None of which can walk upright. Absently I wonder if they realise they are being exploited by the apes. "If you want to kill me, go ahead", I tell them, not knowing if they can understand me. "Maybe it will work this time." The spear is thrown and once more I pray it will work. ---- It doesn't. Just like every other time I blink awake. Not a single mark on my body. Unlike before I'm realising I'm looking up at a ceiling. Wooden beams are holding it up in a dome like shape. "I see you are awake", a voice rumble and it take me a moment to notice that I just understood the words. I sit up and look around me in confusion. Surely there has to be a mistake. Then I freeze. Sitting by a table is a great silverback gorilla. He, because it can only be male, is wearing glasses and seems to be reading. For some reason, the glasses gets to me more than I expected. "When they told me you were immortal I didn't believe them. I can see I was mistaken", the voice rumble again and I realise it is the gorilla who is speaking. "My name is Graah. I was a hotheaded youth." "Where am I?" I ask. "In my village", Graah replies. "Isn't it considered polite to give your name when someone has given you yours?" My name... I haven't given my name to anyone for hundreds of years. Not since my last companion died. Can I still remember it? Only vaguely. Better than nothing. "I think it is Eyam." "You think?" "I can't remember. I've been without a name for so long." "I see", Graah stands up and walks to what I assume is the door. There he talks to someone before returning to his table. Despite his intelligence he still moves like on of his species. On all four, using his knuckles. "My wives will bring us something to eat soon." "Your wives?" I am wilfully ignorant about the creatures now ruling Earth. Why did I assume they would have human conventions? Surely I had know that silverback gorillas used to live in harems with one male and several females. Why would that change? "Yes", Graah chuckles. "They give me quite the headache sometimes but I'm lucky to have them. Especially now that intelligence is more important than strenght." "How can I understand you? I can't speak the language of animals." "Indeed you can not. I am speaking the language of humans. You were quite a fascinating species. Destructive. Dangerous. Not quite like other creatures. And they created you, I assume." I look down on my unblemished skin. Despite the harsh sun I won't even tan. An abomination. That's what I am. "They cursed me", I say. Feeling the long buried anger rise to the surface. Maybe it's the quiet acceptance of the majestic being in front of me. Or maybe it is the result of me no longer being isolated and alone. Likely a mix between the two. "I wish they had let me die. I wish I could die." "Why?" "'Why'? Because my existence is a curse! I can't die. I'm... I'm no longer human... I'm a monster." Graah is quiet for a long moment, turning a page in his book. Another gorilla enters. A female based on her slimmer and smaller stature. Whatever she says, it is spoken in her own language. Not one meant for me. "There are many among us who think all humans were monsters", the silverback says at last. "That all they did was destroy and kill. But that's not the whole truth." Holding up the book I can see it is an old encyclopedia. Specifically one about animal life. Graah is pointing to a picture of a panda. "This animal went extinct after humans disappeared. It couldn't manage on its own. And I've read stories of humans who went out of their way to help and care for animals." "The minority..." I mutter. "Really?" A rumbling sound echoes and I realise Graah is laughing. "Did you know that the cats and dogs still miss humans? Especially the dogs. They no longer need them. Don't know anything about them. Yet if they saw you they would likely fall at your feet, begging for a bellyrub." In spite of myself I laugh at the image it conjures up. Me surrounded by dogs who have human like intelligence while they all beg me to rub their furry bellies. When was the last time I laughed? At anything? It feels good. "So you have other emotions than despair. Good. I won't lie to you Eyam. You are surrounded by creatures who would want nothing more than see you dead." "I would help them if I could. I can't even feel pain." "I'm sure you would. And I won't stop anyone who tries. They have a right to their anger I think. But, I will extend an invitation to you." The words take me by surprise. Feeling rather bizarre I nod to show I'm listening. "You may stay here, in my village. I will even give you a home and teach you speak Gorilla. It is not difficult. We mostly grunts and huff." "You want me to stay here? Why?" "My reading has made me understand humans are social creatures. You have hold up so far but you could cause a lot of damage if you snapped." My confusion is growing rapidly. This whole conversation baffles me. Graah would have me stay because of the damage I may do if I was to be left alone. "That's..." I begin. "I have one more reason", Graah interrupts me. "And that one is even more selfish. Some of my... cousins... have started display some... unpleasant tendencies that you might be better at recognising. It would be sad if we were to become the same as the humans we so hated. You don't have to give me an answer straight away." ---- The sun is going down on a truly bizarre day. My pale skin is at last starting to look like some other than a fish stomach. I'm not sure if I should take Graah up his offer. At the same time. Maybe someone would finally find a way to kill me. This time for good. Twilight descends on a world that never truly belonged to me. And for the first time in centuries, I'm starting to feel like that is okay. The end. (EDIT. I made some needed space.)	"Oy, can't you guys hurry it up a bit?", As the group of bipedal cats charged at me, I calmly squatted down next to their fallen comrade and began rooting through his pockets. "Come on, I swear I saw him light one up earlier.", although the cats had already arrived next to me, I ignored them and continued searching. When I finally found what I was looking for, a pack of cigarettes, I took one out and stuck the rest in my bag. The cats repeatedly swung their weapons at me, but no matter how much they tried, they failed to cut through even a layer of skin. Inhaling the deadly toxins that naturally come with a cigarette, I looked at my attackers. Just like all those before them, they were desperately trying to take me down. Unfortunately for them, they couldn't. "Listen, can't you guys give up yet? You're wasting my time; The longer you lot keep it up, the longer I have to stay here.", seeing that they did not respond, I took a quick look at my arm to make sure I was wearing the bracelet that could translate my words. I knew, of course, why they were attacking me and I didn't blame them. They had gotten pulled into the same game as I was, way back when; All other humans had participated too, for that matter. We were forced into a giant battle royal with several dozen species from different worlds. We managed to survive and grow stronger for a few years, but, ultimately, failed in winning. I don't know if I should count myself lucky, but since I had repeatedly drawn the interest of the 'game masters' during the game, they had pulled me out of the game a moment before I would die. They promised me incredible power and allowed me to join them as a 'game master'. Not wanting to die, I agreed and ended up becoming the immortal supervisor of earth. At first, I thought they were joshing me around since earth's species, humans, had already lost the game and were now extinct, but after tens of thousands of years, another species appeared. Excited to finally have something to do, I assisted their growth and, when they had grown sufficiently, I pulled them into the game. This species, like humans, lost. They completely died out. Not a single one left. Since then, the cycle has repeated itself countless times; a species would evolve, grow, join the game and, ultimately, die. And now, finally, earth was victorious. These cats somehow managed to win. They had done it through hiding until the end, sure, but they still won. When they returned to earth, I was surprised to find that I could follow them. Nostalgic to finally set foot on earth again, I did. I would be recognised as a game master and I would have fights like this one on a daily basis, sure, but I didn't care. I was finally back on earth. &#x200B; &#x200B; &#x200B; \------------------- Went a bit off-topic, but meh ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯ r/Nammos_storytime
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	(By my 8 year old son) One night I was sleeping outside because one of the cleverest animals were hunting me. The monkeys! I was frightened, and I was dreaming of the world getting crushed by clever animals. The next day I went to the market to get supplies. But there where still animals there! I noticed though they were turtles. They were smart and had high IQ, but they were slow at walking. But do they have a special weapon up their shell? I don’t know, but I wished they didn’t. As I approached them they looked over to me. What is happening to there mouths? It’s like they’re charging a massive beam up! Wait that is what they are doing? I was very surprised to see that they have a special weapon. In my head I was thinking damn it I should have seen that coming! They shot a beam the same time making the sound mmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! I tried to dodge but there were way too many. I noticed 1 of them stopped and he was wearing MLG glasses. He said, “This is a spirit cannon!” then they stopped. They had no energy. I ran to get a box of matches and 50 packs of delicious meat, big milk bottles, cereal, asparagus, 40 water bottles, I almost forgot Doritos(they are delicious), sushi, nori, cucumbers, eggs and a pan to cook on. I will go get some sticks in the woods later; big and small ones.	It's been so long now that I stopped marking the time completely. Millennia, at least. No, longer. Nothing of the old world is left standing. I can't even remember what our buildings looked like, how a city smelled, or how cars and airplanes sounded. The new ones have their own technology now. Paper and ink. I borrowed some from an abandoned cottage to pen this journal. Hell, I'm not even sure if these letters would have meant anything to any Humans left to read them. I can't remember the name of the language in which I think. I'm rambling. Right, technology. The new beings have some. They have civilization, farming, weapons, wheels ... It's the most bizarre thing to see. They came from raccoons, of all things. But they never lost their fur, or grew in stature. Heh, I've forgotten so much, but somehow I remember the concept of movies. They don't have them, at least not yet, but they look remarkably like a character that somehow my ancient neurons held onto. Crazy little fuzzball in orange clothing blasting away at bad guys with a weapon that no longer exists, if it ever did. Doing it again. I don't know why I haven't died yet. Can't remember why we died out, either. I know I'm not normal. If there are any other Humans left, I've never seen them. Maybe they're hiding, the way I've learned to hide from the new ones. These guys ... They're something else. They have iron tools, but mostly they work with bronze. A few castles, but they don't build cities. They keep things spread out a bit. I haven't seen a building yet that was taller than I could reach if I jump. But I almost never get close enough to try it. Their senses are keen, but they don't see well during the day. Out in the wilds, I can hunt and forage as long as the sun is up, but if I wander too close to their towns, especially during the night, they can find and track me. Happened a few times already. I even have a scar from where one of their arrows found a home in my right ass cheek before I managed to outrun them. Damn good they haven't domesticated any animals that could run faster than they do. Dogs and cats don't like them very much, not how they liked us. So I know I'm not invulnerable. But I don't age. And I've been out here in the forest for ages now, surviving. I guess that's why I decided to write down this little rambling. Just for the hope that if there are any Humans left out there, they might stumble on my thoughts, and in that way I might live on. Or the new ones might find it on me whenever they finally do manage to hunt me down, and they will decipher my words. I can see the signs, though. I'm not much longer for this world. Sooner or later they're going to figure out gunpowder. Or they'll spread to all corners of the world the way we did. Or maybe they will find those tiny horses, if any survived. If I'm really lucky, I'll see them figure out internal combustion engines or even space flight before I meet my end. Then I'll know life from this world has a chance to thrive out there in the universe. Because these ... Oh gods, "Trash pandas." How did I remember that? These creatures don't fight the way we did. They have countries and small armies, sure. But the swords and bows are for protection, not conquest. All the old beasts that once plagued Humanity, when there still was a Humanity to plague, are here. Bears, wolves, wildcats ... The new ones managed to carve out a world for themselves amid creatures that still terrify me. If they can survive them, then they might have a real shot to avoid our fate. For now, though, I'll just be their Bigfoot.
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	Life in Avila Beach wasn't so bad for Jamie, all things considered. Sure, the extinction of the human race meant no more late night bar crawls or karaoke nights, but over the millennium Jamie had had enough socializing to last him a lifetime, many times over. And, to look on the bright side, the explosion of the nearby nuclear power plant and the ensuing release of deadly radioactive isotopes that now caked the city meant Jamie was safe from all manner of creatures, aside from the occasional washed up shark or whale, begging for Jamie to put them out of their misery. The collective animal kingdom had enslaved his species for decades, before eventually deciding that they were more trouble alive than dead, thus beginning their human extinction initiative. Humans had fought valiantly, but with the one advantage humans had over animals, intelligence, now equalized, they simply didn't stand a chance. Despite all that had occurred, Jamie still felt a twinge of pity for these creatures. He recalled on one particular day, a poor tiger shark had washed up on the shore as Jamie was conducting his daily exercise (mainly a routine Jamie had enacted to maintain his sanity, not for any particular benefit to his health). He remembered how it rocked back and forth on the sand, gasping for air. Its eye rotated in its socket to gaze up at Jamie. "Help me, human, please," The voice box attached to its side croaked out. Jamie tilted his head, uninterested, giving the shark a blank stare. "Please." It asked again. Jamie nodded, bent down to his knees, before ramming his arm down the shark's throat. It writhed back and forth viciously for a few seconds, before laying to rest. Jamie had a funny idea of mercy. On this particular day, however, Jamie was relaxing in his current home, the largest house he had been able to find in the city. Perched on the top of a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean, Jamie felt like a king, and the La-Z-Boy he had lugged all the way from across town from the furniture store was his throne, although his subjects were admittedly few and far between. Without television or the internet, Jamie had resigned to the ancient ways of human entertainment, namely whatever crossword puzzles, toys, or board games he could find on his scavenging journeys. "Endless time in depraved surroundings, 8 letters, hmmph," Jamie murmured to himself, furrowing his brow as he looked at the crossword hint. "Ironic," he laughed before plopping the paper down and heading over to the kitchen to make his new recipe of canned beans and cereal. Jamie reckoned the two flavors probably weren't a particularly good match, but he supposed that with all the time he had on his hands, with enough mixing and matching he would be able to discover a culinary match made in heaven that no one else had considered, simply because the dish wasn't especially easy on the eyes. He opened the can of beans with the can opener and raised it to his nose, sniffing suspiciously. No alarm bells were raised from the smell, so he placed a bowl on the table, flipped the can over and spanked the bottom a few times before the beans plopped out into the bowl with a satisfying "SCHLOP". Jamie took a moment to admire how the beans managed to maintain their solid, cylindrical, can shape. "Human ingenuity, stunning." He muttered before reaching for the Frosted Flakes. "Fuck!" he yelled as a bird came bursting through his kitchen window and onto the kitchen floor in a bloody, feathery, mess. "Jamie! Jamie Jamie! This is for you! It is most urgent!" It squawked. In its claws it clutched a rolled up piece of paper. Jamie was stunned. Acting out of pure instinct, he grabbed the butcher knife from the counter and stabbed the bird through the throat. It immediately lay still. He snatched the rolled up paper from the bird's clutch and opened it. "We know what you are. Please help us. We have gone through great lengths and taken much risk to transmit this message to you. Please see the bottom of this paper for verification. Fort Lauterdale. We will be waiting." He read. As he neared the bottom of the letter his jaw dropped. Taped at the bottom of the paper was something he hadn't seen in decades. A pile of human nail clippings, and beneath that five unique thumb prints. Jamie wasn't sure what to think. Could this be a trap? He knew all humans were extinct. And even if he could get all the way across the country, he knew he could be of no help, the human race was hopelessly doomed. But he had to admit it was a bit exciting, he had seen no adventure here for years, although the small blue jay lying dead on his kitchen floor was a bit of an underwhelming call for adventure. Suddenly, Jamie stood very still. His head perked up, and he looked towards the window. He could hear the distant calls of some birds. "Nothing out of the ordinary," he thought to himself, flocks of birds usually passed near to the town before realizing they were off course and adjusting their flight paths accordingly. But the flock didn't seem to be changing path. No, their caws seemed to get louder, and louder. Eventually Jamie was able to make out what they were saying. "Bird, bird, bird." Closer they came. "Where is the bird, bird, bird." Jamie looked down at the bird between his feet. "Shit," he breathed. "BIRD, BIRD, WHERE IS THE BIRD, BIRD, BIRD?!" He scrambled on top of his kitchen counter, knocking over the Frosted Flakes and bowl of beans in his wake. He stuck his head out of the now broken window and looked to the skies. Overhead, coming towards him, was a massive murder of crows, numbering thousands, possibly tens of thousands, Jamie couldn't be sure. Their caws were deathly screams now. "BIRD! BIRD! WHERE IS THE BIRD!" Jamie was certain they were heading right for him. He ducked back into the house, picked up the piece of paper again, and rushed downstairs.	Lightning scattered across the night-sky and licked at the thrice-burned fingers of my right arm, filling my broken nose with the smell of ozone and burning flesh, and the beady eyes of the dragon with what I hoped was terror and intense regret. It backed away, slowly, down the mountainside. My shroud, wrapped firmly around my torso, fluttered like the banners of a forgotten nation in the majestic creature's breath. I held my ground. My fingers, seemingly burnt beyond healing moments ago, had already begun to heal, releasing steam that hissed as it escaped through my gauntlet. The gauntlet was a gift; a relic of a bygone age, when we had nigh become deities who presided over each and every aspect of our existence. Even half-broken, held together by tree sap and lard, the gauntlet retained the power to summon lightning from a cloudy sky, albeit hurting my fingers in the process. But that did not matter: we have long been immortal, undying gods upon the earth. How did the others disappear then? I have no answer, other than that they chose to. Immortality is a curse, and it is a curse to be addicted to the breath that we draw. I was, then, doubly cursed; a unique blend that made me the sole survivor of the human race. The dragon seemed to have regained its composure. In its hands, nestled in the firm grasp possible only by the opposable thumbs inherited from its primate ancestry, was what we once called a sword. The blade reached longer than most trees did in the third millennium, but seemed too blunt to reliably cut through bone, as if the dragon was yet to learn that my flesh concealed my skeleton. If that was the case here, it would be advantageous to keep up the charade. It swung the sword at me, but I parried with my gauntlet, sending a measured pulse of electricity through the blade that I knew would be enough to incapacitate the creature for some time. I pointed my gauntlet at the beast, and it stared back with its wise, yet furious eyes, each larger than the largest watermelons of our age. "Run away," I shouted, even though I knew it would understand nothing, "And you will get to see the sun rise again". I let the tiniest spark run across the gauntlet, letting the smell get to its nostrils. For a moment it felt as if the dragon was hesitating. Then it stepped forward, slowly, from the shock, yet menacingly, and began to speak in a language I knew nothing of, other than that it existed, and that almost all dragons seem to understand it. It was not loud enough to be a battle-cry, nor short enough to be prayer; it was conversing with me, speaking to another species. Perhaps if I tried hard enough I would understand? Perhaps this was the great moment in our history when we first make meaningful contact with another species? I no longer cared. When I realized it would not back away, I ran forward, and drove the gauntlet, now bursting with power, through the dragon's skull, my fist resting halfway across its jaws. The dragon was alive, but not for much longer. I withdrew my hand. "I am sorry," I said to the magnificent beast, "But there was no other way". I waited, as it flailed around for an hour, then breathed heavily, said its last words, then passed away, a proud warrior. In thirty, perhaps forty years, the bones of this dragon would house a thousand other species, none human, each trying to kill me, each trying to live up to the legacy of the creature that sheltered their lives, even in death. I cut off one of its feathers and stashed it away in my sack. I would have to stay here for a while, perhaps a year, feasting on dragon-flesh and the snow that would soon litter the mountainside. It could have been worse. &#x200B; \[This is my first time writing in this sub, so I apologize for the amateur writing. I had a lot of fun writing this, though, and if my fellow redditors approve, I would love to keep writing some more! Thank you, u/Moe_Danglez for the great prompt, and everyone who reads this!\]
[WP] The human race is extinct and Earth has rejuvenated itself and is flourishing. Animals have evolved and are smarter than ever and are determined to eliminate the last remaining human, which happens to be you and you happen to be immortal.	The party is getting closer. They will be upon me any minute. If I am being honest with myself, I'm hoping that this time they will succeed. For centuries I have watched as nature has restored itself from the damage done by humans. And the scars humanity still left behind. I look down on my hands. The bright paleness of them is almost blinding. Couldn't there at least be a mark on my skin? To prove that I'm more than the last monument over human hubris. No such luck. Not then. Not now. I don't blame the creatures that are coming for me. After all, I am a constant reminder of a past long gone. Of a time when animals were hunted and their homes destroyed. It served humanity right to wiped out. I can now see the party. Unsurprisingly it is lead by a group of great apes. Most of them are chimpanzees. All the species closest related to humans has evolved to be the same or almost the same intelligence as their long gone cousins. Even then, the most violent group are the chimps. Ironically they have started to behave very similarly to the humans they once so hated. The one in front is holding a primitive spear, shaking it at me while chattering something I can't understand. I know they have a language. All the animals do. But I don't understand any of them. Behind the chimpanzees is a variety of other animals. None of which can walk upright. Absently I wonder if they realise they are being exploited by the apes. "If you want to kill me, go ahead", I tell them, not knowing if they can understand me. "Maybe it will work this time." The spear is thrown and once more I pray it will work. ---- It doesn't. Just like every other time I blink awake. Not a single mark on my body. Unlike before I'm realising I'm looking up at a ceiling. Wooden beams are holding it up in a dome like shape. "I see you are awake", a voice rumble and it take me a moment to notice that I just understood the words. I sit up and look around me in confusion. Surely there has to be a mistake. Then I freeze. Sitting by a table is a great silverback gorilla. He, because it can only be male, is wearing glasses and seems to be reading. For some reason, the glasses gets to me more than I expected. "When they told me you were immortal I didn't believe them. I can see I was mistaken", the voice rumble again and I realise it is the gorilla who is speaking. "My name is Graah. I was a hotheaded youth." "Where am I?" I ask. "In my village", Graah replies. "Isn't it considered polite to give your name when someone has given you yours?" My name... I haven't given my name to anyone for hundreds of years. Not since my last companion died. Can I still remember it? Only vaguely. Better than nothing. "I think it is Eyam." "You think?" "I can't remember. I've been without a name for so long." "I see", Graah stands up and walks to what I assume is the door. There he talks to someone before returning to his table. Despite his intelligence he still moves like on of his species. On all four, using his knuckles. "My wives will bring us something to eat soon." "Your wives?" I am wilfully ignorant about the creatures now ruling Earth. Why did I assume they would have human conventions? Surely I had know that silverback gorillas used to live in harems with one male and several females. Why would that change? "Yes", Graah chuckles. "They give me quite the headache sometimes but I'm lucky to have them. Especially now that intelligence is more important than strenght." "How can I understand you? I can't speak the language of animals." "Indeed you can not. I am speaking the language of humans. You were quite a fascinating species. Destructive. Dangerous. Not quite like other creatures. And they created you, I assume." I look down on my unblemished skin. Despite the harsh sun I won't even tan. An abomination. That's what I am. "They cursed me", I say. Feeling the long buried anger rise to the surface. Maybe it's the quiet acceptance of the majestic being in front of me. Or maybe it is the result of me no longer being isolated and alone. Likely a mix between the two. "I wish they had let me die. I wish I could die." "Why?" "'Why'? Because my existence is a curse! I can't die. I'm... I'm no longer human... I'm a monster." Graah is quiet for a long moment, turning a page in his book. Another gorilla enters. A female based on her slimmer and smaller stature. Whatever she says, it is spoken in her own language. Not one meant for me. "There are many among us who think all humans were monsters", the silverback says at last. "That all they did was destroy and kill. But that's not the whole truth." Holding up the book I can see it is an old encyclopedia. Specifically one about animal life. Graah is pointing to a picture of a panda. "This animal went extinct after humans disappeared. It couldn't manage on its own. And I've read stories of humans who went out of their way to help and care for animals." "The minority..." I mutter. "Really?" A rumbling sound echoes and I realise Graah is laughing. "Did you know that the cats and dogs still miss humans? Especially the dogs. They no longer need them. Don't know anything about them. Yet if they saw you they would likely fall at your feet, begging for a bellyrub." In spite of myself I laugh at the image it conjures up. Me surrounded by dogs who have human like intelligence while they all beg me to rub their furry bellies. When was the last time I laughed? At anything? It feels good. "So you have other emotions than despair. Good. I won't lie to you Eyam. You are surrounded by creatures who would want nothing more than see you dead." "I would help them if I could. I can't even feel pain." "I'm sure you would. And I won't stop anyone who tries. They have a right to their anger I think. But, I will extend an invitation to you." The words take me by surprise. Feeling rather bizarre I nod to show I'm listening. "You may stay here, in my village. I will even give you a home and teach you speak Gorilla. It is not difficult. We mostly grunts and huff." "You want me to stay here? Why?" "My reading has made me understand humans are social creatures. You have hold up so far but you could cause a lot of damage if you snapped." My confusion is growing rapidly. This whole conversation baffles me. Graah would have me stay because of the damage I may do if I was to be left alone. "That's..." I begin. "I have one more reason", Graah interrupts me. "And that one is even more selfish. Some of my... cousins... have started display some... unpleasant tendencies that you might be better at recognising. It would be sad if we were to become the same as the humans we so hated. You don't have to give me an answer straight away." ---- The sun is going down on a truly bizarre day. My pale skin is at last starting to look like some other than a fish stomach. I'm not sure if I should take Graah up his offer. At the same time. Maybe someone would finally find a way to kill me. This time for good. Twilight descends on a world that never truly belonged to me. And for the first time in centuries, I'm starting to feel like that is okay. The end. (EDIT. I made some needed space.)	Lightning scattered across the night-sky and licked at the thrice-burned fingers of my right arm, filling my broken nose with the smell of ozone and burning flesh, and the beady eyes of the dragon with what I hoped was terror and intense regret. It backed away, slowly, down the mountainside. My shroud, wrapped firmly around my torso, fluttered like the banners of a forgotten nation in the majestic creature's breath. I held my ground. My fingers, seemingly burnt beyond healing moments ago, had already begun to heal, releasing steam that hissed as it escaped through my gauntlet. The gauntlet was a gift; a relic of a bygone age, when we had nigh become deities who presided over each and every aspect of our existence. Even half-broken, held together by tree sap and lard, the gauntlet retained the power to summon lightning from a cloudy sky, albeit hurting my fingers in the process. But that did not matter: we have long been immortal, undying gods upon the earth. How did the others disappear then? I have no answer, other than that they chose to. Immortality is a curse, and it is a curse to be addicted to the breath that we draw. I was, then, doubly cursed; a unique blend that made me the sole survivor of the human race. The dragon seemed to have regained its composure. In its hands, nestled in the firm grasp possible only by the opposable thumbs inherited from its primate ancestry, was what we once called a sword. The blade reached longer than most trees did in the third millennium, but seemed too blunt to reliably cut through bone, as if the dragon was yet to learn that my flesh concealed my skeleton. If that was the case here, it would be advantageous to keep up the charade. It swung the sword at me, but I parried with my gauntlet, sending a measured pulse of electricity through the blade that I knew would be enough to incapacitate the creature for some time. I pointed my gauntlet at the beast, and it stared back with its wise, yet furious eyes, each larger than the largest watermelons of our age. "Run away," I shouted, even though I knew it would understand nothing, "And you will get to see the sun rise again". I let the tiniest spark run across the gauntlet, letting the smell get to its nostrils. For a moment it felt as if the dragon was hesitating. Then it stepped forward, slowly, from the shock, yet menacingly, and began to speak in a language I knew nothing of, other than that it existed, and that almost all dragons seem to understand it. It was not loud enough to be a battle-cry, nor short enough to be prayer; it was conversing with me, speaking to another species. Perhaps if I tried hard enough I would understand? Perhaps this was the great moment in our history when we first make meaningful contact with another species? I no longer cared. When I realized it would not back away, I ran forward, and drove the gauntlet, now bursting with power, through the dragon's skull, my fist resting halfway across its jaws. The dragon was alive, but not for much longer. I withdrew my hand. "I am sorry," I said to the magnificent beast, "But there was no other way". I waited, as it flailed around for an hour, then breathed heavily, said its last words, then passed away, a proud warrior. In thirty, perhaps forty years, the bones of this dragon would house a thousand other species, none human, each trying to kill me, each trying to live up to the legacy of the creature that sheltered their lives, even in death. I cut off one of its feathers and stashed it away in my sack. I would have to stay here for a while, perhaps a year, feasting on dragon-flesh and the snow that would soon litter the mountainside. It could have been worse. &#x200B; \[This is my first time writing in this sub, so I apologize for the amateur writing. I had a lot of fun writing this, though, and if my fellow redditors approve, I would love to keep writing some more! Thank you, u/Moe_Danglez for the great prompt, and everyone who reads this!\]
[WP] You die and get sent to heaven. Every soul is surprised because nobody had been sent to heaven in decades.	Heaven wasn’t quite what I had pictured. Granted, this might not have been heaven at all. I definitely knew I was dead – I had come to terms with the fact that I was dying a long time ago. I hadn’t given too much thought to what would come afterwards, but in those final moments, stretching into eternity, I had felt rested. At peace. There was no pain in my dying; I didn’t feel much at all, in fact. It was like being put under anesthesia. One moment you’re awake, and the next, it’s hours later. So when I closed my eyes in the hospital bed, my husband, daughter, parents, and friends arrayed around me, and opened my eyes to find myself in what seemed to be a forest, I knew my time had come, and my existence on earth was over. Which brings me back to expectations. I was surrounded by ancient trees that seemed to stretch into the sky for miles, blocking out the sun. The path ahead of me was overgrown with grass and deadnettle, choked by dandelions and other weeds. Despite the forestry, it was deadly still and quiet. And there, a hundred or so yards away, was a gate, rusted and bolted shut. On the other side, someone was gaping at me with wide, astonished eyes, as if unsure if I was real. I waved awkwardly. “Hey, am I in the right place?” The person blinked and between one breath and the next had scrambled and run into the mist behind him. “Well would you get a load of you.” I whirled around, coming face to face with a bearded man in a cardigan and jeans. He could have been in his twenties or his sixties, and he had extraordinary eyes that seemed to shift between blue, green, and hazel each time I met them. “Uh,” I responded, very eloquently. “I’m definitely dead, right?” The man chuckled, and it made me feel warmer, somehow. “Oh yes, definitely dead,” he told me, reaching out a hand. “Welcome to heaven.” I shook his hand before gesturing around me. “What happened here?” The man tucked his hands into his pockets and sighed mightily. “Very odd,” he murmured, “what happens in a world without heavenly beings.” I looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?” “Well, Thea,” he said, and I started at the sound of the name I hadn’t given him, “you are the first heavenly being to arrive in over a hundred years.” He walked toward the gate as I gaped, and it took me a moment to follow him. “What? What do you mean, over a hundred years? Is that like dog years?” The man chuckled as I caught up to him. “Unfortunately, no. We had our last entrant in April of 1920. Another woman,” he paused at the gates, glancing back at me, “who, much like yourself, accepted her death and departed the earth fearlessly.” He reached out and ran his fingers along the rotting black gates and I watched in amazement as the corrosion melted away. Around me, the grass seemed to pull itself back into the ground and the tree branches above gave way to a clear blue sky. Through the gates which were righting themselves, the mist on the other side faded, giving way to crowds of mumbling people who seemed to give off a glow. But beyond them, there was a city, so vast and unerringly beautiful that I found myself speechless as I beheld it. The man beside me smiled. “You see, Thea,” he murmured, “the only true way to peace is acceptance – acceptance of one’s life, one’s death, one’s trials and travails. You come to heaven like a hero coming home, all because you did not fight inevitability.” The gates swung wide, and I took a step through.	For heaven was not for men, it was for gods. Gods who had moulded their own universes, set their pendulums and lit the match that started it all. Millennias passed with out the god of the universe taking any organic forms, all the while the cosmic pendulums sculpted systems of stars and dust. Every now and again, in a corner of this immeasurable green house would a droplet of water and stone stew life which would grant the god a chance to look at itself. To look at it’s own handiwork, though not quite sure why it had turned the way it did. After living every life of every organism spawned on this passing pebble, the god would once again spread across its own bubble. After eons of popping in and out of these billions of windows to its world, the creation grew colder until it became lightless and quiet, with no chance of anyone or anything ever touching each other again. It was then that the god grew weary and feeble. Stretched so thin that it was only a concept anymore. It was then that light fell upon the end, pulling the sole performer of the darkened stage out to that which wasn’t even understandable from within its creation. To the place of other gods that had equally lived the courses of their universes. Now united, looking down at the infinite sea of bubbles still vibrating with the vigour of younger gods.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	After receiving a dollar from the nice old granny, Johnathan Crane, a fat slob of a man who has no other choice but to rob people for the sake of survival, felt confused. "Why isn't anyone giving a damn about me?". He looked around and everybody was simply talking about their lives and enjoying themselves. A teeny bopper kind of music started playing and a little child went to the center of the room and started dancing in the most adorable way, by simply bobbing her head every which way. "Let's dance!" yelled an older gentleman who seemed to be the grandpa of the family. Numerous women and men of varying ages started getting up from their seats or from whatever video game console they were playing to participate. Someone started doing the robot dance and the rest hilariously followed. Even the granny who handed Johnathan a dollar bill started dancing. Out of everyone, the robot dance really fit her well, probably because of her creaky bones. "Come here Johnny!" called out a young attractive lady, with a very well defined hour glass figure, probably in her mid 20s. Johnathan wondered how the lady knew his nickname. Still without any concrete idea of what's going on, Johnathan just played along, with the slight intent of "getting to know" this sexy woman better. Johnathan gazed into the young woman's eyes and to him, it felt like he was viewing a beauty that could only exist in this one moment in time. He stopped caring about his plans to rob this family. He stopped caring about the annoying teeny bopper music. He stopped caring about time. Without realizing it, Jonathan found himself in the middle of the room. It seemed like there were more people now more than when he first got into the house. Slowly, Jonathan's senses started coming back. He was beginning to shake off the feeling that something was clouding his mind. The bright, vibrant room that he was in just moments ago somehow transformed into a spacious dark prison cell. Around him were still the people from the party, except instead of being dressed in beautiful garb, they were all naked. Then he started noticing their bodies. They were all pale white, skin cracked by their black veins as if they were made of marble. What little light that managed to seep through the cracks on the wall illuminated faces without eyes, their expressions all the same: Agony. The ghostly figures then all started raising their arms and pointed at him. Their heads started bobbing up and down, at first slowly, only to gain speed as time passed until all Johnny could see were blurs in the place of their heads. Johnny blinked, and upon regaining his vision, he noticed that they were now a step closer to him. Johnny's heart started palpitating without control. He was confused. He was afraid. Johnny tried his best not to blink again, but he's only human. Involuntarily, his eyes would shut, and upon reopening, the haunted beings would be a step closer. There was no other choice. Johnny clawed his own eyes out. The pain was intense, but Johnny lived a life of pain. It was nothing new to him. His situation did not afford him the time to evaluate the consequences of losing his eyes. He simply did not want to see them anymore. Darkness, finally. He couldn't see anymore. Just as his heart started settling down, his mind's eye betrayed him. Without thinking about it, one by one, the figures he saw started to appear from the horizon of his imagination. They were all still pointing at him while bobbing their heads rapidly. Their arms even started moving about until they were just violently trashing around while still trying to point at him. Johnny tried his best to erase them from his mind but he simply couldn't. Slowly, the figure nearest to him stretched its neck. Its rapidly vibrating bobbing head was only inches away. It suddenly stopped and Johnny, in his mind's eye, saw his own rotting, anguished face.	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	As I made my way through the house looking for valuables I noticed the dollar the old lady slid in my pocket as she gave me the hug. Something caught my eye on this bill, there's a handwritten note on it. I pause from the chaos I was committing to read the note she had left me on this bill. It read "leave now and you will not be harmed. My grandson is having a party for all his military buddies in celebration of another successful covert op in the middle east. They will dismember you and play cornhole with your body parts if they catch you.	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	It ain't much, and it's dishonest work. My grandma's favourite topic was always how the nurses would steal her money when she wasn't looking. "Two hundred thirty, two hundred forty, two hundred and fifty dollars. It's all there grandma, stop worrying about it!" To be completely honest, I was surprised to find that there wasn't any money missing. It's not that I needed the money, and heck, I could probably earn more doing something else with that time. Thirty minutes per room, taking twenty dollars each time. The furthest I stretched it was saying I was their husband's sister's daughter's dog-sitter. Either way, they always saw me off with a smile. \--- Thirty minutes per room, fifty dollars each time. I don't know when it happened, but I no longer needed to fish through their purses. They would literally hand it to me. "For candy" they say, or "for dinner tonight". Oddly enough, I felt more guilty receiving their money than taking it. \--- Seven hours on Saturdays, twenty dollars an hour. It ain't much, but it's honest work.	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	I'd been hiding out in the forest for a couple of days. Making sure plenty of time passed for people to forget my face as I settled what was once theirs into my new home. The little lean-to wasn't much, but it was mine. Long fallen branches were fitted snuggly into the cracks and crevices of the bluff. A little stone overhang covered most of the space inside. It was almost warm at night, and my last haul would make it even better. Laying out my tattered jacket on the dirt floor, I emptied the shopping bag of what I had most recently stolen; A soft, fuzzy blanket, brand new and still in the package, a nice analog watch that was black metal with what looked like gold inlay, and an array of snacks and drinks that I'd nicked from a convenience store. I was hanging the watch on a branch of my leaning wall when I heard twigs snapping and people laughing. I crept out of my little home. A small group of teenagers were laughing and chasing each other around. They looked like spoiled rich kids. I wondered what they could possibly be doing way out in the middle of nowhere. I'd walked half a day into the wilderness to find this place. Curious, I followed them through the woods, making sure to keep my distance. They giggled and rough housed their way through the forest, until it opened into a large clearing. It was like a fair. There were balloons everywhere, and several grills giving off wonderful smells. A bunch of people were drinking and laughing as kids darted around playing. There were even a couple of food vendors. On the other side of the clearing was a huge house with big glass windows looking out at the party. Around it dotted several little cabins, almost like a hen and it's chicks. A large banner hung from the second floor balcony of the large house. It said "83rd Annual Hammerfield Family Reunion". My mouth watered at all the food and drinks being made and shared. The family was obviously well to do. Most of them were casually dressed so I thought maybe I had a shot. I could get my belly filled and maybe pocket a few things worth selling in the process. I quietly rushed to a nearby stream. I took off one of my socks and scrubbed it on a rock in the water, then I used the sock to scrub my face and arms. My shirt was ruined, torn and stained, but I turned it inside out and the color was a bit more vibrant, and the tears less visible. I brushed as much dust and leaves from my pants as I could. Satisfied that I was as presentable as I could be, I made my way back to the family reunion. I waited at the edge of the forest, and when a particularly large gaggle of kids and teens walked by, I slipped into the back of it. They didn't even blink. They probably thought I was just yet another cousin. I followed the group into the center of the gathering. They dispersed and I was left standing next to a picnic table near a man working a large open grill. My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled from being so close to real food. I hadn't had meat in at least a week, two of you didn't count jerky. I was debating on how I was going to snag some of the food when the man looked at me suddenly with a huge grin. "Smells great, don't it? Sit yerself down. They'll be done in a minute." Unsure how to respond I timidly slid onto the bench of the picnic table. He began monologuing about meat and cooking techniques, clearly talking to me, but seemingly unbothered that I didn't respond. I looked down at the picnic table, afraid to make eye contact. This whole plan was starting to seem like a bad idea. Suddenly I started feeling woozy and cursed myself for not eating something before I left. My blood sugar was definitely tanking. Somehow the man noticed my plight and turned his head and hollered over his shoulder "Hey May, come bring this kid a plate and a soda, willyuh?" As if on cue, a woman popped out from behind him with a large paper plate and a can of cola. "Oh poor thing, what's wrong? Don't feel good?" She opened the can and handed it to me with a warm smile, her other hand gently rubbing my back. "Ah, I think she just played too hard. You know kids." The man responded with a beaming smile."Oh hey, what's your name again? There are so many of you runts running around I can't remember who's who." I shrank a little into my seat and sipped on the offered soda. " Miranda" I mumbled. "Oh look Ted, you've gone and embarrassed her." She said jokingly, lightly slapping the man on the shoulder. "Now you listen to Aunt May. You eat up this whole burger and then go find somewhere to rest for a bit, there's plenty more time to play before dinner." I nodded shyly as "Ted" put a freshly made burger onto my plate. With that she gave my back one final pat, gave Ted a peck on the cheek, and then wandered off. I ate the burger in slow bites, trying to savor the rich and juicy treat, as Ted resumed his talk about grilling and meat. When I was finished eating I felt my eyes begin to droop heavily. Ted smiled at me and pointed with his spatula "there's a bunch of loungers over there, why don't you go get that nap in?" I nodded sleepily and wandered in the direction he pointed, squeezing through the gaps in the crowd of adults chattering away. Near the big house I found a large array of patio chairs and loungers facing a white screen on a pole. A kids movie was playing and a large playpen was set up so that the toddlers and babies inside it could watch as they played. I knew it was too dangerous to stay, that I needed to get back to the safety of my lean-to, but there was a chaise lounge that was begging me to curl up in it. I simply couldn't resist the urge of a nap in such a cozy spot.	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	The interview was going about as well as could be expected. That is to say, it was going terrible. The interviewer was a tall thin blonde-haired man with hipster glasses. He had been furiously writing down notes, while the audio recorder sat passively on the desk. In all of his years, he had never, ever, imagined that he would be interviewing a Legend. And yet, there she was. She leaned back in her chair and took a drag from a cigarette. Her hair was pulled back tight into a ponytail, and she wore a white button-down blouse. She had an air of effortless elegance. "No," she said as she tapped her cigarette over the ashtray, "I don't steal from people. Not anymore." "Why not?" he asked her inquisitively. "It didn't feel right." The interviewer wrinkled his brow. This woman was a cold-hearted criminal. A lifetime of high-profile heists, burglaries, and break-ins that would put Daniel Ocean to shame. She had evaded law enforcement with ease, even taunting them at times. For almost a decade, she had been on every most-wanted list from Los Angeles to Beijing. "You've never had any qualms about stealing before. What was the reason for your sudden change of heart?" She took one last drag from her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray. She glanced down at the table with the tape recorder and finally spoke: "Candy." I don't like hitting residences. Too many unknowns, too unpredictable. When you break into a business, you can expect the same things pretty much every time. A few cameras, a barely-conscious security guard, a few locked doors... easy. But when you go into a residence, you never know. Maybe the homeowner has a dog, or maybe they're up late at night getting a sandwich. Too much risk. Better to hide in plain sight and just waltz right through the front door. A maintenance technician or pest control is usually pretty safe. The key to any successful job is preparation. Do your homework. Memorize every little detail. If something is out of place, they're going to know. And that's why I do it perfect, every time. This job was supposed to be no different. They were a rich, eccentric family. Nobody seemed to know how they came to be so wealthy, but nobody seemed to care much. They had a facebook page inviting "extended family members" to their annual reunion. Perfect. When I showed up at the party, the place was absolute chaos. Children running around, laughing. Folks chatting in the living room, munching on hors d'oeuvres. A few folks even said hello to me. Pssht... these simpletons are blissfully unaware of the wolf roaming around in their very midst. Bedrooms are always where people keep their valuables. So that's where I was headed. As I made my way down the hall, a petite elderly lady approached me. "Oh hello dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" I nodded slightly and smiled, trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know my way around here. Is this the way to the bathroom?" The old woman smiled at me "Go down that hallway. Second door on your left. Oh! And take this." She handed me a single folded dollar bill. "In case you want to buy some candy." The interviewer stopped the tape. "Hold on, you're telling me that nobody at that reunion even questioned why you were there?" The woman across the table smiled wryly. "No. It's like they were expecting me to show up. I probably should have just walked away from the whole thing but..." her voice trailed off. "But what?" She looked wistfully at the ashtray. "But they knew I wouldn't do that. They knew the whole time." The old woman was gone. I glanced down at the dollar in my hand before quickly stuffing it in my purse. "Idiots," I thought to myself. A moment later I found what I was looking for. Bedroom safe. Located behind a picture on the wall. And this model safe had a known flaw that made cracking it as cinch. Boy, this was almost too easy. Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-THUNK! The din of the crowd drowned out any chances of somebody hearing me while I handily worked. A moment later, the safe door was open and inside I found...something. "What was it?" The interview leaned forward, his pen twitching in his hand. It looked like some kind of glowing yellow orb. It shimmered and shone, but it was hard to focus on it, like it wasn't completely solid. As I reached my hand into the safe to grab it, the whole room turned a blinding white light. I blinked. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I wasn't even in the house anymore. I was... In Mister McGarret's hardware store. I'm seven years old, and I'm staring up at a Snickers bar next to the cash register. Mister McGarret is busy ringing up a purchase for my mother when I realized that this moment. THIS EXACT MOMENT was the first time I had ever stolen anything. I remember now, I stole that snickers bar. My mother told me that we couldn't afford things like that and so I... I had just taken it. The first of many things in my life that I would take. At that point I looked down in my hand and saw a single dollar clutched in my palm. "For Candy."	I stand on the other side of the front gate, listening to the sounds on the other side. I'm waiting, the more drink they pour down their throat the easier it will be to get away with it. My small palm rests on the latch as I hear a glass smash. Everybody applauds, the international symbol for drunkenness. I check my outfit, a midget dressed in a childs onesie - how cliche, the adults will find me adorable and the kids see me as an equal because I'm their height. Idiots. They walk out with a sugar high, I will walk out with the contents of the safe. In I go, I bumble in doing my best childs impression. 6 couples and 4 old people and the level of drunkenness tells me they will think I am just somebody else's kid. I walk past an old woman, all I can smell is rose, musk and mothballs, I try not to sneeze - you know what adult sneezes are like compared to a childs girly sneeze. Why the fuck is she opening her purse? "Here you go James, take a dollar for candy" There is $170 dollars in here, can the stupid bitch not see far enough to give me a dollar herself. There we go, that $170 will get me a good score tonight. Warm night sleep and dreams of chasing that dragon. Fucking elderly. Well, off I bounce in that childlike manner I am playing. The family have spotted me walk in and completely think I'm 'one of the others children' but they're too polite to ask whose I am. After all, they should know each other. There it is, the safe. It's a suburban home, these idiots brought a safe because they thought they needed to and just shoved it in the cupboard. It isnt attached to anything. I wrap a rope around the safe and toss it out to my partner on the front drive, he ties it to his truck and hits the gas. A bang, crash and smash and the safe is bouncing down the street, I'm about to jump out the window as I listen back. The last words I hear.... "I think you're kid just made a mess in the house, do you want to check on them?"
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	It ain't much, and it's dishonest work. My grandma's favourite topic was always how the nurses would steal her money when she wasn't looking. "Two hundred thirty, two hundred forty, two hundred and fifty dollars. It's all there grandma, stop worrying about it!" To be completely honest, I was surprised to find that there wasn't any money missing. It's not that I needed the money, and heck, I could probably earn more doing something else with that time. Thirty minutes per room, taking twenty dollars each time. The furthest I stretched it was saying I was their husband's sister's daughter's dog-sitter. Either way, they always saw me off with a smile. \--- Thirty minutes per room, fifty dollars each time. I don't know when it happened, but I no longer needed to fish through their purses. They would literally hand it to me. "For candy" they say, or "for dinner tonight". Oddly enough, I felt more guilty receiving their money than taking it. \--- Seven hours on Saturdays, twenty dollars an hour. It ain't much, but it's honest work.	It was supposed to be an easy job. There was a large estate in the hills, with nothing but trees visible on the way there. Supposedly, a family reunion was taking place that night. My contact had told me that there would be hundreds of guests. As a thief, that was music to my ears. With so many guests there, it would be easy to get in and out unnoticed. It would be just like Wedding Crashers. Someone didn't recognize me, I could just tell them I'm cousins with Sarah's step-mom, or some other BS excuse. They would never be suspicious. As I stood outside the estate that night, I looked up at the giant of a house. My first thought was that hundreds of people could probably live in this place. It was way too big for one family. That being said, I did find the place beautiful, yet frightening in a way. Eventually, I walked in alongside the countless other guests arriving. A jeweled, golden Fabergé egg with an ancient-looking spiral pattern was the goal that night. My contact had told me the family had been gifted the egg by another wealthy family with whom they do business with. Of course, if I saw anything else that would sell for a pretty penny on the market, I would take it. But if I could get my hands on that egg, not only would I become a very wealthy man, I would also solidify my position as one of the best thieves in the business. As I made my way further into the house, I evaluated my surroundings. Most of these people were older, but I did see one young family in attendance. An old man leaning over a balcony was staring at me oddly, but that's just what old people do. Most people were gathered in the main hall, where there was a wide variety of food and beverages. Everyone seemed to be talking, laughing, and generally having a good time. I remember thinking how weird it was that hundreds of people showed up for this family reunion, but I guess if their entire family tree was tight, plus add a few family friends, and it all makes sense. The egg was supposed to be somewhere upstairs. I guessed that wherever it was up there, it would be behind a locked door, and after that, a locked display case. I was hopeful that whatever security lied before me, it wouldn't be too hard to deal with. My contact had told me that virtually nobody outside the family knew about the egg, so that was a definite advantage. I walked up the grand staircase and started exploring. I had decided the best way to find this thing was to just start looking through rooms. I knew this wasn't very efficient, but what other choice did I have? Whenever the coast was clear, and nobody could see me, I walked into each room. Most of them didn't have much, but I did find some exquisite jewelry. Coming out of one room, I looked up and froze. An old woman was watching me. "Hi! How are you?" I said, in an attempt to play it off. She continued to just stare at me, smiling. It was so odd. Did she hear me? "The weather was amazing today, wasn't it?" I said. Still, she said nothing. As I started to say something else, however, she began to walk towards me. When she didn't stop, I took a step back. She kept coming closer until she spread her arms and gave me a hug. I remember thinking how crazy that was. What was happening? After a few seconds, she let go and held out a one dollar bill. "Here, sonny, take it. Buy some candy or something. But don't tell, it will be our little secret!" she whispered, smiling. I came to the conclusion that she was insane, and when I say insane, I mean clinically. In an attempt to avoid a conflict, I took the dollar. She winked at me, let out a little giggle, then turned around and left me. I stood there for a few moments while I tried to process what just happened. The wink was especially scary, as I could've sworn she had blue eyes before she blinked. After the blink they were brown. I regained my composure and reminded myself of why I was there. The Fabergé egg. I had gone through a lot of rooms, but they didn't seem to end. Eventually, I found a locked room. As I was picking the lock, I felt a hand on back. My blood froze. I turned around and locked eyes with an old man, who was smiling. "You're doing a great job! Keep up the good work, thief." he said to me. The way he said thief really scared the living hell out of me. There was something about the way he said it that deeply disturbed me. It's like he knew everything about me, like he could see straight into my soul. He winked, just like that old woman had, then walked away. The way these people had talked to me was like that of a parent or grandparent talking to a small child. After that encounter, I was determined to find the egg as fast as possible and get out of there. That place was starting to give me the creeps. Instead of checking inside rooms, I started to just check to see if the doors were locked. I broke out into a fast-walk, reaching out my hand to each doorknob and wiggling it in one sharp movement. All I could think about was getting the egg and leaving. It would've been nice if my contact had been a little more specific on where it was, although for someone I'd never met, he proved to be quite useful. Finally, I stumbled upon a hallway that seemed different from the others. It was large and lit up, like it wanted me to go in there. I started jogging, and at the end of the hallway I could see a door. I could also see old people. Lots of them, just lining the outer walls of the hallway. As I got closer, I realized they were ... clapping. For me. "You can do it, champ!" "Way to go, buddy!" "C'mon, you're almost there!" "Great job!" I ignored their cheers and sprinted at the door. As I tried to open it, I realized it was locked. "Here you go, dear. You've almost done it!" said an old woman with a key resting in her hand. I took the key from her, jammed it in the keyhole, and opened the door. The room was dark except for a spotlight illuminating the middle of the room, where a display case resided. I walked up to the case, and there it was: the Fabergé egg. I open the glass thing and grabbed the egg. I held it up and admired it shining in the light. It was so cool! I had finally done it! Wow! All the old people were cheering for me and saying really nice things. I walked out the room and that's wen the young family from befor was waiting for me. Oh wait, dat's my family! I ran to give them a hug. Mommy said she was very proud of me. I'm the best thief ever! \- - - That night I had a scary dream. Mommy had to wake me up and tell me everything was okay. I told her about my dream, so I'll tell you, too! I was a grown-up thief, a really good one. One night, I wanted to steal an egg, just like Mommy and Daddy let me pretend during the family gathering! Except whenever I picked up the egg, I got beat up by some people. They held me down and cut stuff in my insides. A guy with a white coat made my body smaller. It really hurt. There were these flashing lights and scary monsters, too. By the end of it, I was a kid. Then they gave me to a young family who couldn't have their own kids. I guess the stork couldn't deliver to them or something. Whenever I told Mommy about the dream, she told me to never talk that way again. She said it was a very bad nightmare and talking about it only makes it more scary. Then she rushed out and had to go talk to Daddy. What do you think?
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	It was supposed to be an easy job. There was a large estate in the hills, with nothing but trees visible on the way there. Supposedly, a family reunion was taking place that night. My contact had told me that there would be hundreds of guests. As a thief, that was music to my ears. With so many guests there, it would be easy to get in and out unnoticed. It would be just like Wedding Crashers. Someone didn't recognize me, I could just tell them I'm cousins with Sarah's step-mom, or some other BS excuse. They would never be suspicious. As I stood outside the estate that night, I looked up at the giant of a house. My first thought was that hundreds of people could probably live in this place. It was way too big for one family. That being said, I did find the place beautiful, yet frightening in a way. Eventually, I walked in alongside the countless other guests arriving. A jeweled, golden Fabergé egg with an ancient-looking spiral pattern was the goal that night. My contact had told me the family had been gifted the egg by another wealthy family with whom they do business with. Of course, if I saw anything else that would sell for a pretty penny on the market, I would take it. But if I could get my hands on that egg, not only would I become a very wealthy man, I would also solidify my position as one of the best thieves in the business. As I made my way further into the house, I evaluated my surroundings. Most of these people were older, but I did see one young family in attendance. An old man leaning over a balcony was staring at me oddly, but that's just what old people do. Most people were gathered in the main hall, where there was a wide variety of food and beverages. Everyone seemed to be talking, laughing, and generally having a good time. I remember thinking how weird it was that hundreds of people showed up for this family reunion, but I guess if their entire family tree was tight, plus add a few family friends, and it all makes sense. The egg was supposed to be somewhere upstairs. I guessed that wherever it was up there, it would be behind a locked door, and after that, a locked display case. I was hopeful that whatever security lied before me, it wouldn't be too hard to deal with. My contact had told me that virtually nobody outside the family knew about the egg, so that was a definite advantage. I walked up the grand staircase and started exploring. I had decided the best way to find this thing was to just start looking through rooms. I knew this wasn't very efficient, but what other choice did I have? Whenever the coast was clear, and nobody could see me, I walked into each room. Most of them didn't have much, but I did find some exquisite jewelry. Coming out of one room, I looked up and froze. An old woman was watching me. "Hi! How are you?" I said, in an attempt to play it off. She continued to just stare at me, smiling. It was so odd. Did she hear me? "The weather was amazing today, wasn't it?" I said. Still, she said nothing. As I started to say something else, however, she began to walk towards me. When she didn't stop, I took a step back. She kept coming closer until she spread her arms and gave me a hug. I remember thinking how crazy that was. What was happening? After a few seconds, she let go and held out a one dollar bill. "Here, sonny, take it. Buy some candy or something. But don't tell, it will be our little secret!" she whispered, smiling. I came to the conclusion that she was insane, and when I say insane, I mean clinically. In an attempt to avoid a conflict, I took the dollar. She winked at me, let out a little giggle, then turned around and left me. I stood there for a few moments while I tried to process what just happened. The wink was especially scary, as I could've sworn she had blue eyes before she blinked. After the blink they were brown. I regained my composure and reminded myself of why I was there. The Fabergé egg. I had gone through a lot of rooms, but they didn't seem to end. Eventually, I found a locked room. As I was picking the lock, I felt a hand on back. My blood froze. I turned around and locked eyes with an old man, who was smiling. "You're doing a great job! Keep up the good work, thief." he said to me. The way he said thief really scared the living hell out of me. There was something about the way he said it that deeply disturbed me. It's like he knew everything about me, like he could see straight into my soul. He winked, just like that old woman had, then walked away. The way these people had talked to me was like that of a parent or grandparent talking to a small child. After that encounter, I was determined to find the egg as fast as possible and get out of there. That place was starting to give me the creeps. Instead of checking inside rooms, I started to just check to see if the doors were locked. I broke out into a fast-walk, reaching out my hand to each doorknob and wiggling it in one sharp movement. All I could think about was getting the egg and leaving. It would've been nice if my contact had been a little more specific on where it was, although for someone I'd never met, he proved to be quite useful. Finally, I stumbled upon a hallway that seemed different from the others. It was large and lit up, like it wanted me to go in there. I started jogging, and at the end of the hallway I could see a door. I could also see old people. Lots of them, just lining the outer walls of the hallway. As I got closer, I realized they were ... clapping. For me. "You can do it, champ!" "Way to go, buddy!" "C'mon, you're almost there!" "Great job!" I ignored their cheers and sprinted at the door. As I tried to open it, I realized it was locked. "Here you go, dear. You've almost done it!" said an old woman with a key resting in her hand. I took the key from her, jammed it in the keyhole, and opened the door. The room was dark except for a spotlight illuminating the middle of the room, where a display case resided. I walked up to the case, and there it was: the Fabergé egg. I open the glass thing and grabbed the egg. I held it up and admired it shining in the light. It was so cool! I had finally done it! Wow! All the old people were cheering for me and saying really nice things. I walked out the room and that's wen the young family from befor was waiting for me. Oh wait, dat's my family! I ran to give them a hug. Mommy said she was very proud of me. I'm the best thief ever! \- - - That night I had a scary dream. Mommy had to wake me up and tell me everything was okay. I told her about my dream, so I'll tell you, too! I was a grown-up thief, a really good one. One night, I wanted to steal an egg, just like Mommy and Daddy let me pretend during the family gathering! Except whenever I picked up the egg, I got beat up by some people. They held me down and cut stuff in my insides. A guy with a white coat made my body smaller. It really hurt. There were these flashing lights and scary monsters, too. By the end of it, I was a kid. Then they gave me to a young family who couldn't have their own kids. I guess the stork couldn't deliver to them or something. Whenever I told Mommy about the dream, she told me to never talk that way again. She said it was a very bad nightmare and talking about it only makes it more scary. Then she rushed out and had to go talk to Daddy. What do you think?
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	It ain't much, and it's dishonest work. My grandma's favourite topic was always how the nurses would steal her money when she wasn't looking. "Two hundred thirty, two hundred forty, two hundred and fifty dollars. It's all there grandma, stop worrying about it!" To be completely honest, I was surprised to find that there wasn't any money missing. It's not that I needed the money, and heck, I could probably earn more doing something else with that time. Thirty minutes per room, taking twenty dollars each time. The furthest I stretched it was saying I was their husband's sister's daughter's dog-sitter. Either way, they always saw me off with a smile. \--- Thirty minutes per room, fifty dollars each time. I don't know when it happened, but I no longer needed to fish through their purses. They would literally hand it to me. "For candy" they say, or "for dinner tonight". Oddly enough, I felt more guilty receiving their money than taking it. \--- Seven hours on Saturdays, twenty dollars an hour. It ain't much, but it's honest work.	The day was an unusual one as the rain pitter pattered against the window as the winds hurled outside. 53 First Street, the rattling of the daily occurrence of people rushing to and throw out their houses with phones buzzing every five minutes to people shouting, I arose from my bed after having a fantastic dream. I grumbled as I get out of my bed and get ready for the day as I stretch and yawn. I look at my phone and realized that my friend Carl has been trying to contact me "holy crap I missed fourteen calls from him in a shocked voice I yelp as I try to call him on the phone "hey carl th-" "I know What we need to do tonight -" "what do you mean carl?" "We have to rob this house that is on Tourist Lane be prepared by 9 pm-" "but-I-u-" "No excuses just be ready." I thumped my feet down on the floorboards to the fresh smell of coffee that hit my face as the kettle sound screeched as I poured the coffee into a mug slowly and grabbed the white plain cup and chugged the coffee that tasted very bitter.I grab my dark worn brown leather coat quickly and head to work with a rush and a sense of dread. "Tick" "Tock" "Tick-" The clock struck 9pm and the time has come to rob this house around the corner from mine as I head for my car I get in the car not forgetting my maks to put on. I look at the mirror and stare at it for a few minutes in disapproval of what I was about to do I feel shameful. I shut the mirror after staring at my young reflection and I get out the car and I go into the house quietly but accidentally I creak the floorboard "errrrrrrrrrrrrk" The lady turns around and places the single round kitchen light on that glows onto the worn-out floorboards as she glares at me with a shock and disbelief at first and sees me stood there. The lady with round glasses and a wrinkly face with a wooden walking stick with an arched back comes over to me quickly with a smile on her face and gives me a massive hug and puts a 1 dollar into the back of my jeans and speaks "My husband died four years ago and I am so happy that someone who looks like him has stepped into my house, please sit I will cook you supper and we can talk this all through about why you want to rob my house?" I couldn't recline this offer as I felt really bad about what I was doing so I sit down on the antique furniture that looked chipped and worn and waited for the lady to come over. "It's ok deary " She waddles over with a beautiful traditional blue china tray shaking her hands unprovoked as the glasses and china and the bowl of food wobbles and clanks together causing a few spills to dribble onto the china tray. She hands me some warm soup that smelt very fresh and delicious. "My husband used to be just like you. Trying to make ends meet. I gulped as I said in a very guilty voice "I am very sorry Mrs -" She interrupted "It's ok deary I get why you had to do what you had to do -" I was sweating as I eat the food listening to the stories she told me about her and her husband in their younger days, "Thanks for the tea and the food Mrs Hubert. I am very sorry for what I have done, are you going to call the police on me?" I said with a nervous tone of voice. "No deary do not worry about it but please do not do this to anyone else as they may not be very understanding of your situation. " I nod as I head out the door and leave.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	I'd been hiding out in the forest for a couple of days. Making sure plenty of time passed for people to forget my face as I settled what was once theirs into my new home. The little lean-to wasn't much, but it was mine. Long fallen branches were fitted snuggly into the cracks and crevices of the bluff. A little stone overhang covered most of the space inside. It was almost warm at night, and my last haul would make it even better. Laying out my tattered jacket on the dirt floor, I emptied the shopping bag of what I had most recently stolen; A soft, fuzzy blanket, brand new and still in the package, a nice analog watch that was black metal with what looked like gold inlay, and an array of snacks and drinks that I'd nicked from a convenience store. I was hanging the watch on a branch of my leaning wall when I heard twigs snapping and people laughing. I crept out of my little home. A small group of teenagers were laughing and chasing each other around. They looked like spoiled rich kids. I wondered what they could possibly be doing way out in the middle of nowhere. I'd walked half a day into the wilderness to find this place. Curious, I followed them through the woods, making sure to keep my distance. They giggled and rough housed their way through the forest, until it opened into a large clearing. It was like a fair. There were balloons everywhere, and several grills giving off wonderful smells. A bunch of people were drinking and laughing as kids darted around playing. There were even a couple of food vendors. On the other side of the clearing was a huge house with big glass windows looking out at the party. Around it dotted several little cabins, almost like a hen and it's chicks. A large banner hung from the second floor balcony of the large house. It said "83rd Annual Hammerfield Family Reunion". My mouth watered at all the food and drinks being made and shared. The family was obviously well to do. Most of them were casually dressed so I thought maybe I had a shot. I could get my belly filled and maybe pocket a few things worth selling in the process. I quietly rushed to a nearby stream. I took off one of my socks and scrubbed it on a rock in the water, then I used the sock to scrub my face and arms. My shirt was ruined, torn and stained, but I turned it inside out and the color was a bit more vibrant, and the tears less visible. I brushed as much dust and leaves from my pants as I could. Satisfied that I was as presentable as I could be, I made my way back to the family reunion. I waited at the edge of the forest, and when a particularly large gaggle of kids and teens walked by, I slipped into the back of it. They didn't even blink. They probably thought I was just yet another cousin. I followed the group into the center of the gathering. They dispersed and I was left standing next to a picnic table near a man working a large open grill. My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled from being so close to real food. I hadn't had meat in at least a week, two of you didn't count jerky. I was debating on how I was going to snag some of the food when the man looked at me suddenly with a huge grin. "Smells great, don't it? Sit yerself down. They'll be done in a minute." Unsure how to respond I timidly slid onto the bench of the picnic table. He began monologuing about meat and cooking techniques, clearly talking to me, but seemingly unbothered that I didn't respond. I looked down at the picnic table, afraid to make eye contact. This whole plan was starting to seem like a bad idea. Suddenly I started feeling woozy and cursed myself for not eating something before I left. My blood sugar was definitely tanking. Somehow the man noticed my plight and turned his head and hollered over his shoulder "Hey May, come bring this kid a plate and a soda, willyuh?" As if on cue, a woman popped out from behind him with a large paper plate and a can of cola. "Oh poor thing, what's wrong? Don't feel good?" She opened the can and handed it to me with a warm smile, her other hand gently rubbing my back. "Ah, I think she just played too hard. You know kids." The man responded with a beaming smile."Oh hey, what's your name again? There are so many of you runts running around I can't remember who's who." I shrank a little into my seat and sipped on the offered soda. " Miranda" I mumbled. "Oh look Ted, you've gone and embarrassed her." She said jokingly, lightly slapping the man on the shoulder. "Now you listen to Aunt May. You eat up this whole burger and then go find somewhere to rest for a bit, there's plenty more time to play before dinner." I nodded shyly as "Ted" put a freshly made burger onto my plate. With that she gave my back one final pat, gave Ted a peck on the cheek, and then wandered off. I ate the burger in slow bites, trying to savor the rich and juicy treat, as Ted resumed his talk about grilling and meat. When I was finished eating I felt my eyes begin to droop heavily. Ted smiled at me and pointed with his spatula "there's a bunch of loungers over there, why don't you go get that nap in?" I nodded sleepily and wandered in the direction he pointed, squeezing through the gaps in the crowd of adults chattering away. Near the big house I found a large array of patio chairs and loungers facing a white screen on a pole. A kids movie was playing and a large playpen was set up so that the toddlers and babies inside it could watch as they played. I knew it was too dangerous to stay, that I needed to get back to the safety of my lean-to, but there was a chaise lounge that was begging me to curl up in it. I simply couldn't resist the urge of a nap in such a cozy spot.	After receiving a dollar from the nice old granny, Johnathan Crane, a fat slob of a man who has no other choice but to rob people for the sake of survival, felt confused. "Why isn't anyone giving a damn about me?". He looked around and everybody was simply talking about their lives and enjoying themselves. A teeny bopper kind of music started playing and a little child went to the center of the room and started dancing in the most adorable way, by simply bobbing her head every which way. "Let's dance!" yelled an older gentleman who seemed to be the grandpa of the family. Numerous women and men of varying ages started getting up from their seats or from whatever video game console they were playing to participate. Someone started doing the robot dance and the rest hilariously followed. Even the granny who handed Johnathan a dollar bill started dancing. Out of everyone, the robot dance really fit her well, probably because of her creaky bones. "Come here Johnny!" called out a young attractive lady, with a very well defined hour glass figure, probably in her mid 20s. Johnathan wondered how the lady knew his nickname. Still without any concrete idea of what's going on, Johnathan just played along, with the slight intent of "getting to know" this sexy woman better. Johnathan gazed into the young woman's eyes and to him, it felt like he was viewing a beauty that could only exist in this one moment in time. He stopped caring about his plans to rob this family. He stopped caring about the annoying teeny bopper music. He stopped caring about time. Without realizing it, Jonathan found himself in the middle of the room. It seemed like there were more people now more than when he first got into the house. Slowly, Jonathan's senses started coming back. He was beginning to shake off the feeling that something was clouding his mind. The bright, vibrant room that he was in just moments ago somehow transformed into a spacious dark prison cell. Around him were still the people from the party, except instead of being dressed in beautiful garb, they were all naked. Then he started noticing their bodies. They were all pale white, skin cracked by their black veins as if they were made of marble. What little light that managed to seep through the cracks on the wall illuminated faces without eyes, their expressions all the same: Agony. The ghostly figures then all started raising their arms and pointed at him. Their heads started bobbing up and down, at first slowly, only to gain speed as time passed until all Johnny could see were blurs in the place of their heads. Johnny blinked, and upon regaining his vision, he noticed that they were now a step closer to him. Johnny's heart started palpitating without control. He was confused. He was afraid. Johnny tried his best not to blink again, but he's only human. Involuntarily, his eyes would shut, and upon reopening, the haunted beings would be a step closer. There was no other choice. Johnny clawed his own eyes out. The pain was intense, but Johnny lived a life of pain. It was nothing new to him. His situation did not afford him the time to evaluate the consequences of losing his eyes. He simply did not want to see them anymore. Darkness, finally. He couldn't see anymore. Just as his heart started settling down, his mind's eye betrayed him. Without thinking about it, one by one, the figures he saw started to appear from the horizon of his imagination. They were all still pointing at him while bobbing their heads rapidly. Their arms even started moving about until they were just violently trashing around while still trying to point at him. Johnny tried his best to erase them from his mind but he simply couldn't. Slowly, the figure nearest to him stretched its neck. Its rapidly vibrating bobbing head was only inches away. It suddenly stopped and Johnny, in his mind's eye, saw his own rotting, anguished face.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	After receiving a dollar from the nice old granny, Johnathan Crane, a fat slob of a man who has no other choice but to rob people for the sake of survival, felt confused. "Why isn't anyone giving a damn about me?". He looked around and everybody was simply talking about their lives and enjoying themselves. A teeny bopper kind of music started playing and a little child went to the center of the room and started dancing in the most adorable way, by simply bobbing her head every which way. "Let's dance!" yelled an older gentleman who seemed to be the grandpa of the family. Numerous women and men of varying ages started getting up from their seats or from whatever video game console they were playing to participate. Someone started doing the robot dance and the rest hilariously followed. Even the granny who handed Johnathan a dollar bill started dancing. Out of everyone, the robot dance really fit her well, probably because of her creaky bones. "Come here Johnny!" called out a young attractive lady, with a very well defined hour glass figure, probably in her mid 20s. Johnathan wondered how the lady knew his nickname. Still without any concrete idea of what's going on, Johnathan just played along, with the slight intent of "getting to know" this sexy woman better. Johnathan gazed into the young woman's eyes and to him, it felt like he was viewing a beauty that could only exist in this one moment in time. He stopped caring about his plans to rob this family. He stopped caring about the annoying teeny bopper music. He stopped caring about time. Without realizing it, Jonathan found himself in the middle of the room. It seemed like there were more people now more than when he first got into the house. Slowly, Jonathan's senses started coming back. He was beginning to shake off the feeling that something was clouding his mind. The bright, vibrant room that he was in just moments ago somehow transformed into a spacious dark prison cell. Around him were still the people from the party, except instead of being dressed in beautiful garb, they were all naked. Then he started noticing their bodies. They were all pale white, skin cracked by their black veins as if they were made of marble. What little light that managed to seep through the cracks on the wall illuminated faces without eyes, their expressions all the same: Agony. The ghostly figures then all started raising their arms and pointed at him. Their heads started bobbing up and down, at first slowly, only to gain speed as time passed until all Johnny could see were blurs in the place of their heads. Johnny blinked, and upon regaining his vision, he noticed that they were now a step closer to him. Johnny's heart started palpitating without control. He was confused. He was afraid. Johnny tried his best not to blink again, but he's only human. Involuntarily, his eyes would shut, and upon reopening, the haunted beings would be a step closer. There was no other choice. Johnny clawed his own eyes out. The pain was intense, but Johnny lived a life of pain. It was nothing new to him. His situation did not afford him the time to evaluate the consequences of losing his eyes. He simply did not want to see them anymore. Darkness, finally. He couldn't see anymore. Just as his heart started settling down, his mind's eye betrayed him. Without thinking about it, one by one, the figures he saw started to appear from the horizon of his imagination. They were all still pointing at him while bobbing their heads rapidly. Their arms even started moving about until they were just violently trashing around while still trying to point at him. Johnny tried his best to erase them from his mind but he simply couldn't. Slowly, the figure nearest to him stretched its neck. Its rapidly vibrating bobbing head was only inches away. It suddenly stopped and Johnny, in his mind's eye, saw his own rotting, anguished face.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	The interview was going about as well as could be expected. That is to say, it was going terrible. The interviewer was a tall thin blonde-haired man with hipster glasses. He had been furiously writing down notes, while the audio recorder sat passively on the desk. In all of his years, he had never, ever, imagined that he would be interviewing a Legend. And yet, there she was. She leaned back in her chair and took a drag from a cigarette. Her hair was pulled back tight into a ponytail, and she wore a white button-down blouse. She had an air of effortless elegance. "No," she said as she tapped her cigarette over the ashtray, "I don't steal from people. Not anymore." "Why not?" he asked her inquisitively. "It didn't feel right." The interviewer wrinkled his brow. This woman was a cold-hearted criminal. A lifetime of high-profile heists, burglaries, and break-ins that would put Daniel Ocean to shame. She had evaded law enforcement with ease, even taunting them at times. For almost a decade, she had been on every most-wanted list from Los Angeles to Beijing. "You've never had any qualms about stealing before. What was the reason for your sudden change of heart?" She took one last drag from her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray. She glanced down at the table with the tape recorder and finally spoke: "Candy." I don't like hitting residences. Too many unknowns, too unpredictable. When you break into a business, you can expect the same things pretty much every time. A few cameras, a barely-conscious security guard, a few locked doors... easy. But when you go into a residence, you never know. Maybe the homeowner has a dog, or maybe they're up late at night getting a sandwich. Too much risk. Better to hide in plain sight and just waltz right through the front door. A maintenance technician or pest control is usually pretty safe. The key to any successful job is preparation. Do your homework. Memorize every little detail. If something is out of place, they're going to know. And that's why I do it perfect, every time. This job was supposed to be no different. They were a rich, eccentric family. Nobody seemed to know how they came to be so wealthy, but nobody seemed to care much. They had a facebook page inviting "extended family members" to their annual reunion. Perfect. When I showed up at the party, the place was absolute chaos. Children running around, laughing. Folks chatting in the living room, munching on hors d'oeuvres. A few folks even said hello to me. Pssht... these simpletons are blissfully unaware of the wolf roaming around in their very midst. Bedrooms are always where people keep their valuables. So that's where I was headed. As I made my way down the hall, a petite elderly lady approached me. "Oh hello dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" I nodded slightly and smiled, trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know my way around here. Is this the way to the bathroom?" The old woman smiled at me "Go down that hallway. Second door on your left. Oh! And take this." She handed me a single folded dollar bill. "In case you want to buy some candy." The interviewer stopped the tape. "Hold on, you're telling me that nobody at that reunion even questioned why you were there?" The woman across the table smiled wryly. "No. It's like they were expecting me to show up. I probably should have just walked away from the whole thing but..." her voice trailed off. "But what?" She looked wistfully at the ashtray. "But they knew I wouldn't do that. They knew the whole time." The old woman was gone. I glanced down at the dollar in my hand before quickly stuffing it in my purse. "Idiots," I thought to myself. A moment later I found what I was looking for. Bedroom safe. Located behind a picture on the wall. And this model safe had a known flaw that made cracking it as cinch. Boy, this was almost too easy. Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-THUNK! The din of the crowd drowned out any chances of somebody hearing me while I handily worked. A moment later, the safe door was open and inside I found...something. "What was it?" The interview leaned forward, his pen twitching in his hand. It looked like some kind of glowing yellow orb. It shimmered and shone, but it was hard to focus on it, like it wasn't completely solid. As I reached my hand into the safe to grab it, the whole room turned a blinding white light. I blinked. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I wasn't even in the house anymore. I was... In Mister McGarret's hardware store. I'm seven years old, and I'm staring up at a Snickers bar next to the cash register. Mister McGarret is busy ringing up a purchase for my mother when I realized that this moment. THIS EXACT MOMENT was the first time I had ever stolen anything. I remember now, I stole that snickers bar. My mother told me that we couldn't afford things like that and so I... I had just taken it. The first of many things in my life that I would take. At that point I looked down in my hand and saw a single dollar clutched in my palm. "For Candy."	After receiving a dollar from the nice old granny, Johnathan Crane, a fat slob of a man who has no other choice but to rob people for the sake of survival, felt confused. "Why isn't anyone giving a damn about me?". He looked around and everybody was simply talking about their lives and enjoying themselves. A teeny bopper kind of music started playing and a little child went to the center of the room and started dancing in the most adorable way, by simply bobbing her head every which way. "Let's dance!" yelled an older gentleman who seemed to be the grandpa of the family. Numerous women and men of varying ages started getting up from their seats or from whatever video game console they were playing to participate. Someone started doing the robot dance and the rest hilariously followed. Even the granny who handed Johnathan a dollar bill started dancing. Out of everyone, the robot dance really fit her well, probably because of her creaky bones. "Come here Johnny!" called out a young attractive lady, with a very well defined hour glass figure, probably in her mid 20s. Johnathan wondered how the lady knew his nickname. Still without any concrete idea of what's going on, Johnathan just played along, with the slight intent of "getting to know" this sexy woman better. Johnathan gazed into the young woman's eyes and to him, it felt like he was viewing a beauty that could only exist in this one moment in time. He stopped caring about his plans to rob this family. He stopped caring about the annoying teeny bopper music. He stopped caring about time. Without realizing it, Jonathan found himself in the middle of the room. It seemed like there were more people now more than when he first got into the house. Slowly, Jonathan's senses started coming back. He was beginning to shake off the feeling that something was clouding his mind. The bright, vibrant room that he was in just moments ago somehow transformed into a spacious dark prison cell. Around him were still the people from the party, except instead of being dressed in beautiful garb, they were all naked. Then he started noticing their bodies. They were all pale white, skin cracked by their black veins as if they were made of marble. What little light that managed to seep through the cracks on the wall illuminated faces without eyes, their expressions all the same: Agony. The ghostly figures then all started raising their arms and pointed at him. Their heads started bobbing up and down, at first slowly, only to gain speed as time passed until all Johnny could see were blurs in the place of their heads. Johnny blinked, and upon regaining his vision, he noticed that they were now a step closer to him. Johnny's heart started palpitating without control. He was confused. He was afraid. Johnny tried his best not to blink again, but he's only human. Involuntarily, his eyes would shut, and upon reopening, the haunted beings would be a step closer. There was no other choice. Johnny clawed his own eyes out. The pain was intense, but Johnny lived a life of pain. It was nothing new to him. His situation did not afford him the time to evaluate the consequences of losing his eyes. He simply did not want to see them anymore. Darkness, finally. He couldn't see anymore. Just as his heart started settling down, his mind's eye betrayed him. Without thinking about it, one by one, the figures he saw started to appear from the horizon of his imagination. They were all still pointing at him while bobbing their heads rapidly. Their arms even started moving about until they were just violently trashing around while still trying to point at him. Johnny tried his best to erase them from his mind but he simply couldn't. Slowly, the figure nearest to him stretched its neck. Its rapidly vibrating bobbing head was only inches away. It suddenly stopped and Johnny, in his mind's eye, saw his own rotting, anguished face.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	I'd been hiding out in the forest for a couple of days. Making sure plenty of time passed for people to forget my face as I settled what was once theirs into my new home. The little lean-to wasn't much, but it was mine. Long fallen branches were fitted snuggly into the cracks and crevices of the bluff. A little stone overhang covered most of the space inside. It was almost warm at night, and my last haul would make it even better. Laying out my tattered jacket on the dirt floor, I emptied the shopping bag of what I had most recently stolen; A soft, fuzzy blanket, brand new and still in the package, a nice analog watch that was black metal with what looked like gold inlay, and an array of snacks and drinks that I'd nicked from a convenience store. I was hanging the watch on a branch of my leaning wall when I heard twigs snapping and people laughing. I crept out of my little home. A small group of teenagers were laughing and chasing each other around. They looked like spoiled rich kids. I wondered what they could possibly be doing way out in the middle of nowhere. I'd walked half a day into the wilderness to find this place. Curious, I followed them through the woods, making sure to keep my distance. They giggled and rough housed their way through the forest, until it opened into a large clearing. It was like a fair. There were balloons everywhere, and several grills giving off wonderful smells. A bunch of people were drinking and laughing as kids darted around playing. There were even a couple of food vendors. On the other side of the clearing was a huge house with big glass windows looking out at the party. Around it dotted several little cabins, almost like a hen and it's chicks. A large banner hung from the second floor balcony of the large house. It said "83rd Annual Hammerfield Family Reunion". My mouth watered at all the food and drinks being made and shared. The family was obviously well to do. Most of them were casually dressed so I thought maybe I had a shot. I could get my belly filled and maybe pocket a few things worth selling in the process. I quietly rushed to a nearby stream. I took off one of my socks and scrubbed it on a rock in the water, then I used the sock to scrub my face and arms. My shirt was ruined, torn and stained, but I turned it inside out and the color was a bit more vibrant, and the tears less visible. I brushed as much dust and leaves from my pants as I could. Satisfied that I was as presentable as I could be, I made my way back to the family reunion. I waited at the edge of the forest, and when a particularly large gaggle of kids and teens walked by, I slipped into the back of it. They didn't even blink. They probably thought I was just yet another cousin. I followed the group into the center of the gathering. They dispersed and I was left standing next to a picnic table near a man working a large open grill. My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled from being so close to real food. I hadn't had meat in at least a week, two of you didn't count jerky. I was debating on how I was going to snag some of the food when the man looked at me suddenly with a huge grin. "Smells great, don't it? Sit yerself down. They'll be done in a minute." Unsure how to respond I timidly slid onto the bench of the picnic table. He began monologuing about meat and cooking techniques, clearly talking to me, but seemingly unbothered that I didn't respond. I looked down at the picnic table, afraid to make eye contact. This whole plan was starting to seem like a bad idea. Suddenly I started feeling woozy and cursed myself for not eating something before I left. My blood sugar was definitely tanking. Somehow the man noticed my plight and turned his head and hollered over his shoulder "Hey May, come bring this kid a plate and a soda, willyuh?" As if on cue, a woman popped out from behind him with a large paper plate and a can of cola. "Oh poor thing, what's wrong? Don't feel good?" She opened the can and handed it to me with a warm smile, her other hand gently rubbing my back. "Ah, I think she just played too hard. You know kids." The man responded with a beaming smile."Oh hey, what's your name again? There are so many of you runts running around I can't remember who's who." I shrank a little into my seat and sipped on the offered soda. " Miranda" I mumbled. "Oh look Ted, you've gone and embarrassed her." She said jokingly, lightly slapping the man on the shoulder. "Now you listen to Aunt May. You eat up this whole burger and then go find somewhere to rest for a bit, there's plenty more time to play before dinner." I nodded shyly as "Ted" put a freshly made burger onto my plate. With that she gave my back one final pat, gave Ted a peck on the cheek, and then wandered off. I ate the burger in slow bites, trying to savor the rich and juicy treat, as Ted resumed his talk about grilling and meat. When I was finished eating I felt my eyes begin to droop heavily. Ted smiled at me and pointed with his spatula "there's a bunch of loungers over there, why don't you go get that nap in?" I nodded sleepily and wandered in the direction he pointed, squeezing through the gaps in the crowd of adults chattering away. Near the big house I found a large array of patio chairs and loungers facing a white screen on a pole. A kids movie was playing and a large playpen was set up so that the toddlers and babies inside it could watch as they played. I knew it was too dangerous to stay, that I needed to get back to the safety of my lean-to, but there was a chaise lounge that was begging me to curl up in it. I simply couldn't resist the urge of a nap in such a cozy spot.	As I made my way through the house looking for valuables I noticed the dollar the old lady slid in my pocket as she gave me the hug. Something caught my eye on this bill, there's a handwritten note on it. I pause from the chaos I was committing to read the note she had left me on this bill. It read "leave now and you will not be harmed. My grandson is having a party for all his military buddies in celebration of another successful covert op in the middle east. They will dismember you and play cornhole with your body parts if they catch you.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	As I made my way through the house looking for valuables I noticed the dollar the old lady slid in my pocket as she gave me the hug. Something caught my eye on this bill, there's a handwritten note on it. I pause from the chaos I was committing to read the note she had left me on this bill. It read "leave now and you will not be harmed. My grandson is having a party for all his military buddies in celebration of another successful covert op in the middle east. They will dismember you and play cornhole with your body parts if they catch you.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	The interview was going about as well as could be expected. That is to say, it was going terrible. The interviewer was a tall thin blonde-haired man with hipster glasses. He had been furiously writing down notes, while the audio recorder sat passively on the desk. In all of his years, he had never, ever, imagined that he would be interviewing a Legend. And yet, there she was. She leaned back in her chair and took a drag from a cigarette. Her hair was pulled back tight into a ponytail, and she wore a white button-down blouse. She had an air of effortless elegance. "No," she said as she tapped her cigarette over the ashtray, "I don't steal from people. Not anymore." "Why not?" he asked her inquisitively. "It didn't feel right." The interviewer wrinkled his brow. This woman was a cold-hearted criminal. A lifetime of high-profile heists, burglaries, and break-ins that would put Daniel Ocean to shame. She had evaded law enforcement with ease, even taunting them at times. For almost a decade, she had been on every most-wanted list from Los Angeles to Beijing. "You've never had any qualms about stealing before. What was the reason for your sudden change of heart?" She took one last drag from her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray. She glanced down at the table with the tape recorder and finally spoke: "Candy." I don't like hitting residences. Too many unknowns, too unpredictable. When you break into a business, you can expect the same things pretty much every time. A few cameras, a barely-conscious security guard, a few locked doors... easy. But when you go into a residence, you never know. Maybe the homeowner has a dog, or maybe they're up late at night getting a sandwich. Too much risk. Better to hide in plain sight and just waltz right through the front door. A maintenance technician or pest control is usually pretty safe. The key to any successful job is preparation. Do your homework. Memorize every little detail. If something is out of place, they're going to know. And that's why I do it perfect, every time. This job was supposed to be no different. They were a rich, eccentric family. Nobody seemed to know how they came to be so wealthy, but nobody seemed to care much. They had a facebook page inviting "extended family members" to their annual reunion. Perfect. When I showed up at the party, the place was absolute chaos. Children running around, laughing. Folks chatting in the living room, munching on hors d'oeuvres. A few folks even said hello to me. Pssht... these simpletons are blissfully unaware of the wolf roaming around in their very midst. Bedrooms are always where people keep their valuables. So that's where I was headed. As I made my way down the hall, a petite elderly lady approached me. "Oh hello dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" I nodded slightly and smiled, trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know my way around here. Is this the way to the bathroom?" The old woman smiled at me "Go down that hallway. Second door on your left. Oh! And take this." She handed me a single folded dollar bill. "In case you want to buy some candy." The interviewer stopped the tape. "Hold on, you're telling me that nobody at that reunion even questioned why you were there?" The woman across the table smiled wryly. "No. It's like they were expecting me to show up. I probably should have just walked away from the whole thing but..." her voice trailed off. "But what?" She looked wistfully at the ashtray. "But they knew I wouldn't do that. They knew the whole time." The old woman was gone. I glanced down at the dollar in my hand before quickly stuffing it in my purse. "Idiots," I thought to myself. A moment later I found what I was looking for. Bedroom safe. Located behind a picture on the wall. And this model safe had a known flaw that made cracking it as cinch. Boy, this was almost too easy. Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-THUNK! The din of the crowd drowned out any chances of somebody hearing me while I handily worked. A moment later, the safe door was open and inside I found...something. "What was it?" The interview leaned forward, his pen twitching in his hand. It looked like some kind of glowing yellow orb. It shimmered and shone, but it was hard to focus on it, like it wasn't completely solid. As I reached my hand into the safe to grab it, the whole room turned a blinding white light. I blinked. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I wasn't even in the house anymore. I was... In Mister McGarret's hardware store. I'm seven years old, and I'm staring up at a Snickers bar next to the cash register. Mister McGarret is busy ringing up a purchase for my mother when I realized that this moment. THIS EXACT MOMENT was the first time I had ever stolen anything. I remember now, I stole that snickers bar. My mother told me that we couldn't afford things like that and so I... I had just taken it. The first of many things in my life that I would take. At that point I looked down in my hand and saw a single dollar clutched in my palm. "For Candy."	As I made my way through the house looking for valuables I noticed the dollar the old lady slid in my pocket as she gave me the hug. Something caught my eye on this bill, there's a handwritten note on it. I pause from the chaos I was committing to read the note she had left me on this bill. It read "leave now and you will not be harmed. My grandson is having a party for all his military buddies in celebration of another successful covert op in the middle east. They will dismember you and play cornhole with your body parts if they catch you.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	I'd been hiding out in the forest for a couple of days. Making sure plenty of time passed for people to forget my face as I settled what was once theirs into my new home. The little lean-to wasn't much, but it was mine. Long fallen branches were fitted snuggly into the cracks and crevices of the bluff. A little stone overhang covered most of the space inside. It was almost warm at night, and my last haul would make it even better. Laying out my tattered jacket on the dirt floor, I emptied the shopping bag of what I had most recently stolen; A soft, fuzzy blanket, brand new and still in the package, a nice analog watch that was black metal with what looked like gold inlay, and an array of snacks and drinks that I'd nicked from a convenience store. I was hanging the watch on a branch of my leaning wall when I heard twigs snapping and people laughing. I crept out of my little home. A small group of teenagers were laughing and chasing each other around. They looked like spoiled rich kids. I wondered what they could possibly be doing way out in the middle of nowhere. I'd walked half a day into the wilderness to find this place. Curious, I followed them through the woods, making sure to keep my distance. They giggled and rough housed their way through the forest, until it opened into a large clearing. It was like a fair. There were balloons everywhere, and several grills giving off wonderful smells. A bunch of people were drinking and laughing as kids darted around playing. There were even a couple of food vendors. On the other side of the clearing was a huge house with big glass windows looking out at the party. Around it dotted several little cabins, almost like a hen and it's chicks. A large banner hung from the second floor balcony of the large house. It said "83rd Annual Hammerfield Family Reunion". My mouth watered at all the food and drinks being made and shared. The family was obviously well to do. Most of them were casually dressed so I thought maybe I had a shot. I could get my belly filled and maybe pocket a few things worth selling in the process. I quietly rushed to a nearby stream. I took off one of my socks and scrubbed it on a rock in the water, then I used the sock to scrub my face and arms. My shirt was ruined, torn and stained, but I turned it inside out and the color was a bit more vibrant, and the tears less visible. I brushed as much dust and leaves from my pants as I could. Satisfied that I was as presentable as I could be, I made my way back to the family reunion. I waited at the edge of the forest, and when a particularly large gaggle of kids and teens walked by, I slipped into the back of it. They didn't even blink. They probably thought I was just yet another cousin. I followed the group into the center of the gathering. They dispersed and I was left standing next to a picnic table near a man working a large open grill. My mouth watered and my stomach grumbled from being so close to real food. I hadn't had meat in at least a week, two of you didn't count jerky. I was debating on how I was going to snag some of the food when the man looked at me suddenly with a huge grin. "Smells great, don't it? Sit yerself down. They'll be done in a minute." Unsure how to respond I timidly slid onto the bench of the picnic table. He began monologuing about meat and cooking techniques, clearly talking to me, but seemingly unbothered that I didn't respond. I looked down at the picnic table, afraid to make eye contact. This whole plan was starting to seem like a bad idea. Suddenly I started feeling woozy and cursed myself for not eating something before I left. My blood sugar was definitely tanking. Somehow the man noticed my plight and turned his head and hollered over his shoulder "Hey May, come bring this kid a plate and a soda, willyuh?" As if on cue, a woman popped out from behind him with a large paper plate and a can of cola. "Oh poor thing, what's wrong? Don't feel good?" She opened the can and handed it to me with a warm smile, her other hand gently rubbing my back. "Ah, I think she just played too hard. You know kids." The man responded with a beaming smile."Oh hey, what's your name again? There are so many of you runts running around I can't remember who's who." I shrank a little into my seat and sipped on the offered soda. " Miranda" I mumbled. "Oh look Ted, you've gone and embarrassed her." She said jokingly, lightly slapping the man on the shoulder. "Now you listen to Aunt May. You eat up this whole burger and then go find somewhere to rest for a bit, there's plenty more time to play before dinner." I nodded shyly as "Ted" put a freshly made burger onto my plate. With that she gave my back one final pat, gave Ted a peck on the cheek, and then wandered off. I ate the burger in slow bites, trying to savor the rich and juicy treat, as Ted resumed his talk about grilling and meat. When I was finished eating I felt my eyes begin to droop heavily. Ted smiled at me and pointed with his spatula "there's a bunch of loungers over there, why don't you go get that nap in?" I nodded sleepily and wandered in the direction he pointed, squeezing through the gaps in the crowd of adults chattering away. Near the big house I found a large array of patio chairs and loungers facing a white screen on a pole. A kids movie was playing and a large playpen was set up so that the toddlers and babies inside it could watch as they played. I knew it was too dangerous to stay, that I needed to get back to the safety of my lean-to, but there was a chaise lounge that was begging me to curl up in it. I simply couldn't resist the urge of a nap in such a cozy spot.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	He had been slinking through the living room, scoping it out for treasures, when she appeared. He had been certain that everyone was in the dining room. There had been an obnoxious bout of laughter from all of the family members. Family reunions were boring, so he supposed the elderly lady could’ve just wandered off. He was even more confused when she had handed him the dollar bill, telling him to buy some candy. Now, he was turning the bill in his hands. He looked back up at the lady. She had a round face, and quite a few wrinkles. Her cheeks were flushed. She flashed him a nice smile, and turned to go back to the dining room. “Wait a minute!” He suddenly yelled. It had taken him a minute, but he decided that a dollar wasn’t going to be enough. The lady turned back towards him with a surprised expression. He took a gun from his pants. He raised his arm and pointed it at her. The lady was surprised for a moment, but she eventually started laughing. He started to become increasingly angry. She was mocking him. His hands started shaking. She continued laughing, almost doubling over. Finally, he couldn’t take it. He slowly cocked the gun, and pulled the trigger. With a loud pop and a cloud of smoke, the cap gun went off. The lady flinched, but laughed at her nephew and his toy gun. Suddenly, the boy’s mother entered the room. “Young man! I told you not to fire that thing inside the house!” She scolded him and sent him back to the playroom where all the other kids were. Boring. He was turned to go, when the old lady said “wait a minute!” He turned to see her holding the dollar. “Send me a nice picture in the mail of your candy. Before you eat it, that is.” She smiled and handed him the bill. He flashed her a big smile in return and ran back to the playroom, now with a story to tell. r/ThisIsLordess	Why am I here? Why is everyone smiling like idiots. Something is wrong here. I do not care how long it's been since the entire family has stood under the same roof, there's no reason to be so happy about it. I now kinda remember why I don't get along with this family. They are weird, they smile with this weird intensity. It looks like as though they are enjoying something that I can't see or feel. Anyway there stands Beth, my wife, she's getting along nicely with my mother and some lady I know nothing about. Hmm, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that I do not recognise half the people here. It's supposed to be a family reunion is it not? I'm supposed to know these people... Well, I don't care, it doesn't matter I suppose, I just want this to be over, it's been, I think, hours and hours since we've been here, maybe more, I'm a little bit drunk. I set the wine glass on the table. There's a golden key inside a glass case at the table. "Whoa." I looked around, nobody was looking at me, so I opened the case and took the key from the velvet cushion and I stared at it, stared at it hard. A ringing sound fills my head. I suddenly feel dizzy, my eyesight is all blurry, and I close my eyes and hold my forehead. Then, slowly, the ringing sound fades away and I open my eyes. What I saw before me should've sent me into shock but it didn't. The people who had been talking and having drinks were looking at me, they were still smiling but their faces were blurred, wiped away, and their smiles were... Inhuman, it's hard to explain. But I look down to see, to my surprise, I was holding a white card, like a business card with black letters engraved on it that read: YOUR TIME IS UP. "The fuck?" Then I realised that I wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the other men in the party, I was wearing black. Like the stuff you wear when you go and rob someone at night, in the movies. I even had a black mask on. Also, I remember now, how I got here and why I was here. I'm a thief! I came here to rob the place, I had jumped the fence and climbed the pipes, broken the window in the second floor and slipped into the dark room. Everything after that is so fuzzy. Then I see her, the old lady stands at the far end of the room, smiling and waving like an insane person. Fuck. Now I remember, I had stashed up on some really valuable jewelry lying around in the some rooms upstairs and had decided to leave the same way I had broken in but when I reached the broken window, I saw the old lady standing there, blocking my way, she was looking outside. I decided to tip toe out of there, but she turned around suddenly and glided towards me, I was terrified, I thought she was some kind of ghost and that she was gonna kill me or possess me or some shit. But she hugged me. She hugged me! And I felt her hand slip into my pocket. "Here's a dollar for your time. For candy," she said. And and I don't remember anything that happened after that, next I know I was standing in the party, I had a wife called Beth next to me, I also had a mother and father here. What?! I didn't know these people, how long have I been here? I am fucking mental! I started freaking out and the people in black dresses glided towards me, smiling their insane smiles. "Nooooooooooooo." I wake up with a start. I realise that it was all a dream. A weird dream. What a weird dream! Then my phone vibrates and I see the notification:FAMILY REUNION AT 8 And I say, "Fuck."
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	There’s this thing about rich people in rural parts of that country that make them feel untouchable. Car keys are always in the ignitions, and doors are always unlocked. It’s all about distance. Who would make the trip out to where they are? When nothing has happened to your home after living there for 20+ years, it’s easy to think nothing ever will. The Rollings have quite a few parties every year. The music is loud, and the drinks are poured over the brim. After a few hours, an elephant could walk in and take the place. Despite that, I still do my best to scope the place out without drawing attention to myself. Floor plans can be found online and studied, but houses are still furnished in ways that make them easy to get lost in. When I first got here, the gates to the house were open. Of course they were. Why ask your family to stop, park the car, hit the keypad, hop back in your car, wait for them to open, then drive through. Especially for a reunion of a family this size. I must have walked past anywhere between 40 and 50 cars on the way in. And everyone is so nice. “Hey!” “Great to see ya!” “How’s it been? Feels like I haven’t seen you since you were a kid!” These people haven’t seen each other in so many years, they don’t even know what each other looks like. I smiled and waved and tried to match their enthusiasm with my eyes. The number one trick to blending in is not being memorable. But at the same time, it felt like people were shouting greetings more at me than at others; must have been my paranoia. So when I walked in, I grabbed a drink and started making my way from one room to the next, never lingering long, and definitely avoiding the rooms with less than 5 people. The last thing I wanted to do was start a conversation I couldn’t talk my way out of. Walking with a sense of purpose certainly helps with that. My eyes were always forward, always scanning as if I was looking for that one person I wanted to talk to. It was then, I turned a corner and almost knocked over an old lady carrying a small plate of appetizers to the dining room I just left. “Ope, sorry,” I say in a slightly louder-than-normal whisper. I manage to save my drink, and her bacon-wrapped water chestnuts stay put thanks to the sticky sauce that seems to have them transfixed to the plate. There was a man walking behind her that I nodded to as he chuckled at the narrowly avoided disaster. “Oh, it’s OK, dear. Luckily, you’re young enough to avoid an old woman like me shuffling through the hallway,” she says with a smile. Her eyes darted to the man now walking past me to the dining room. “Mhm, sorry to disturb you!” I reply while starting my way past her to the next room. “Would you mind being a dear and pull a chair out for me?” she asks. Shit. I can’t be caught here with her. The next thing she’ll ask is for me to sit with her a while and ask who’s kid am I and how’s work going, and so on. I have to think of an excuse quickly. “I’m really sorry but I’ve been searching for a bathroom for ten minutes and I keep getting lost in these halls. I’ll swing back around and refill your app plate. Is that OK?” Hopefully, that’s enough of an excuse for her. So I turn to make my way down the hall when all of a sudden she grabs my wrist and places a dollar in my hand. “Now darling, I need you to come back and give me some more of that candy,” she says under her breath. She finishes it off with a wink, which really sends me over the creepy edge. I’m not sure who she thinks I am, or what type of candy she’s talking about, but I’m definitely the wrong guy. I start to grab her hand to remove it from mine when I see one of the family portraits behind her. I have no idea how I missed such a vital detail in my research scoping this place out, but my eyes slowly start to widen as I notice one of the children in the portrait. I say child, but this portrait was done relatively recently, and all the children have grown into young adults. It was at this moment that I suddenly realized I bear a striking resemblance to one of the sons. As I begin to formulate my response, I look down at the old lady again just in time to see her looking over my shoulder, and her jaw drops. Her eyes begin to dart back and forth between a spot over my shoulder, and my face. I could feel the color drain and panic start to set in. Right at that moment, I hear a voice come from behind me. “Oh, hi Grandma! I’m back with that candy you asked for, but you can’t tell dad I got it for you!!”	Why am I here? Why is everyone smiling like idiots. Something is wrong here. I do not care how long it's been since the entire family has stood under the same roof, there's no reason to be so happy about it. I now kinda remember why I don't get along with this family. They are weird, they smile with this weird intensity. It looks like as though they are enjoying something that I can't see or feel. Anyway there stands Beth, my wife, she's getting along nicely with my mother and some lady I know nothing about. Hmm, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that I do not recognise half the people here. It's supposed to be a family reunion is it not? I'm supposed to know these people... Well, I don't care, it doesn't matter I suppose, I just want this to be over, it's been, I think, hours and hours since we've been here, maybe more, I'm a little bit drunk. I set the wine glass on the table. There's a golden key inside a glass case at the table. "Whoa." I looked around, nobody was looking at me, so I opened the case and took the key from the velvet cushion and I stared at it, stared at it hard. A ringing sound fills my head. I suddenly feel dizzy, my eyesight is all blurry, and I close my eyes and hold my forehead. Then, slowly, the ringing sound fades away and I open my eyes. What I saw before me should've sent me into shock but it didn't. The people who had been talking and having drinks were looking at me, they were still smiling but their faces were blurred, wiped away, and their smiles were... Inhuman, it's hard to explain. But I look down to see, to my surprise, I was holding a white card, like a business card with black letters engraved on it that read: YOUR TIME IS UP. "The fuck?" Then I realised that I wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the other men in the party, I was wearing black. Like the stuff you wear when you go and rob someone at night, in the movies. I even had a black mask on. Also, I remember now, how I got here and why I was here. I'm a thief! I came here to rob the place, I had jumped the fence and climbed the pipes, broken the window in the second floor and slipped into the dark room. Everything after that is so fuzzy. Then I see her, the old lady stands at the far end of the room, smiling and waving like an insane person. Fuck. Now I remember, I had stashed up on some really valuable jewelry lying around in the some rooms upstairs and had decided to leave the same way I had broken in but when I reached the broken window, I saw the old lady standing there, blocking my way, she was looking outside. I decided to tip toe out of there, but she turned around suddenly and glided towards me, I was terrified, I thought she was some kind of ghost and that she was gonna kill me or possess me or some shit. But she hugged me. She hugged me! And I felt her hand slip into my pocket. "Here's a dollar for your time. For candy," she said. And and I don't remember anything that happened after that, next I know I was standing in the party, I had a wife called Beth next to me, I also had a mother and father here. What?! I didn't know these people, how long have I been here? I am fucking mental! I started freaking out and the people in black dresses glided towards me, smiling their insane smiles. "Nooooooooooooo." I wake up with a start. I realise that it was all a dream. A weird dream. What a weird dream! Then my phone vibrates and I see the notification:FAMILY REUNION AT 8 And I say, "Fuck."
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	The interview was going about as well as could be expected. That is to say, it was going terrible. The interviewer was a tall thin blonde-haired man with hipster glasses. He had been furiously writing down notes, while the audio recorder sat passively on the desk. In all of his years, he had never, ever, imagined that he would be interviewing a Legend. And yet, there she was. She leaned back in her chair and took a drag from a cigarette. Her hair was pulled back tight into a ponytail, and she wore a white button-down blouse. She had an air of effortless elegance. "No," she said as she tapped her cigarette over the ashtray, "I don't steal from people. Not anymore." "Why not?" he asked her inquisitively. "It didn't feel right." The interviewer wrinkled his brow. This woman was a cold-hearted criminal. A lifetime of high-profile heists, burglaries, and break-ins that would put Daniel Ocean to shame. She had evaded law enforcement with ease, even taunting them at times. For almost a decade, she had been on every most-wanted list from Los Angeles to Beijing. "You've never had any qualms about stealing before. What was the reason for your sudden change of heart?" She took one last drag from her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray. She glanced down at the table with the tape recorder and finally spoke: "Candy." I don't like hitting residences. Too many unknowns, too unpredictable. When you break into a business, you can expect the same things pretty much every time. A few cameras, a barely-conscious security guard, a few locked doors... easy. But when you go into a residence, you never know. Maybe the homeowner has a dog, or maybe they're up late at night getting a sandwich. Too much risk. Better to hide in plain sight and just waltz right through the front door. A maintenance technician or pest control is usually pretty safe. The key to any successful job is preparation. Do your homework. Memorize every little detail. If something is out of place, they're going to know. And that's why I do it perfect, every time. This job was supposed to be no different. They were a rich, eccentric family. Nobody seemed to know how they came to be so wealthy, but nobody seemed to care much. They had a facebook page inviting "extended family members" to their annual reunion. Perfect. When I showed up at the party, the place was absolute chaos. Children running around, laughing. Folks chatting in the living room, munching on hors d'oeuvres. A few folks even said hello to me. Pssht... these simpletons are blissfully unaware of the wolf roaming around in their very midst. Bedrooms are always where people keep their valuables. So that's where I was headed. As I made my way down the hall, a petite elderly lady approached me. "Oh hello dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" I nodded slightly and smiled, trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know my way around here. Is this the way to the bathroom?" The old woman smiled at me "Go down that hallway. Second door on your left. Oh! And take this." She handed me a single folded dollar bill. "In case you want to buy some candy." The interviewer stopped the tape. "Hold on, you're telling me that nobody at that reunion even questioned why you were there?" The woman across the table smiled wryly. "No. It's like they were expecting me to show up. I probably should have just walked away from the whole thing but..." her voice trailed off. "But what?" She looked wistfully at the ashtray. "But they knew I wouldn't do that. They knew the whole time." The old woman was gone. I glanced down at the dollar in my hand before quickly stuffing it in my purse. "Idiots," I thought to myself. A moment later I found what I was looking for. Bedroom safe. Located behind a picture on the wall. And this model safe had a known flaw that made cracking it as cinch. Boy, this was almost too easy. Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-THUNK! The din of the crowd drowned out any chances of somebody hearing me while I handily worked. A moment later, the safe door was open and inside I found...something. "What was it?" The interview leaned forward, his pen twitching in his hand. It looked like some kind of glowing yellow orb. It shimmered and shone, but it was hard to focus on it, like it wasn't completely solid. As I reached my hand into the safe to grab it, the whole room turned a blinding white light. I blinked. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I wasn't even in the house anymore. I was... In Mister McGarret's hardware store. I'm seven years old, and I'm staring up at a Snickers bar next to the cash register. Mister McGarret is busy ringing up a purchase for my mother when I realized that this moment. THIS EXACT MOMENT was the first time I had ever stolen anything. I remember now, I stole that snickers bar. My mother told me that we couldn't afford things like that and so I... I had just taken it. The first of many things in my life that I would take. At that point I looked down in my hand and saw a single dollar clutched in my palm. "For Candy."	Why am I here? Why is everyone smiling like idiots. Something is wrong here. I do not care how long it's been since the entire family has stood under the same roof, there's no reason to be so happy about it. I now kinda remember why I don't get along with this family. They are weird, they smile with this weird intensity. It looks like as though they are enjoying something that I can't see or feel. Anyway there stands Beth, my wife, she's getting along nicely with my mother and some lady I know nothing about. Hmm, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that I do not recognise half the people here. It's supposed to be a family reunion is it not? I'm supposed to know these people... Well, I don't care, it doesn't matter I suppose, I just want this to be over, it's been, I think, hours and hours since we've been here, maybe more, I'm a little bit drunk. I set the wine glass on the table. There's a golden key inside a glass case at the table. "Whoa." I looked around, nobody was looking at me, so I opened the case and took the key from the velvet cushion and I stared at it, stared at it hard. A ringing sound fills my head. I suddenly feel dizzy, my eyesight is all blurry, and I close my eyes and hold my forehead. Then, slowly, the ringing sound fades away and I open my eyes. What I saw before me should've sent me into shock but it didn't. The people who had been talking and having drinks were looking at me, they were still smiling but their faces were blurred, wiped away, and their smiles were... Inhuman, it's hard to explain. But I look down to see, to my surprise, I was holding a white card, like a business card with black letters engraved on it that read: YOUR TIME IS UP. "The fuck?" Then I realised that I wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the other men in the party, I was wearing black. Like the stuff you wear when you go and rob someone at night, in the movies. I even had a black mask on. Also, I remember now, how I got here and why I was here. I'm a thief! I came here to rob the place, I had jumped the fence and climbed the pipes, broken the window in the second floor and slipped into the dark room. Everything after that is so fuzzy. Then I see her, the old lady stands at the far end of the room, smiling and waving like an insane person. Fuck. Now I remember, I had stashed up on some really valuable jewelry lying around in the some rooms upstairs and had decided to leave the same way I had broken in but when I reached the broken window, I saw the old lady standing there, blocking my way, she was looking outside. I decided to tip toe out of there, but she turned around suddenly and glided towards me, I was terrified, I thought she was some kind of ghost and that she was gonna kill me or possess me or some shit. But she hugged me. She hugged me! And I felt her hand slip into my pocket. "Here's a dollar for your time. For candy," she said. And and I don't remember anything that happened after that, next I know I was standing in the party, I had a wife called Beth next to me, I also had a mother and father here. What?! I didn't know these people, how long have I been here? I am fucking mental! I started freaking out and the people in black dresses glided towards me, smiling their insane smiles. "Nooooooooooooo." I wake up with a start. I realise that it was all a dream. A weird dream. What a weird dream! Then my phone vibrates and I see the notification:FAMILY REUNION AT 8 And I say, "Fuck."
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	"Take it darling, it's for candy." Her voice is high pitched and shaky. Same as her hand that floats in mid air. Up and down, up and down, shaking the one dollar bill like a feather. In my eyes she looks like my own granny, Rose. Of all grandmas I had, Rose was my favorite. Always shining, even when she couldn't move her legs anymore and was chained to the wheelchair. Same as this old thing here, waving the dollar bill quite expectand. "Thank you, granny Esther", I let my voice sound soft and a little higher to help her live in the illusion. I guess she mistakes me for one of her nephews. She's the one the rest of the family were talking about. The lady with Alzheimers, who is not willing to leave this world yet. "Now move on you little cowboy", she says, as I take the dollar from her. Then she stops. We are in the hallway, the dinner is over and the whole family McGreggor is stuffed with steak, chicken and salmon. You could call them a clan, since there are almost seventy people on this birthday party. It's the party of the lady right in front of me and she doesn't even know. Her daughter Emilia organized the family reunion. I guess Emilia wanted to give everyone the opportunity to see old granny Esther before her brain will ultimately turn into goo. "Do me a favor darling. Since you are on your way downstairs, could you bring me my purple jacket from the basement? It should be on the couch", she says. She's still able to move the wheels of the wheelchair on her own and before I can give her an answer she rolls away. "Don't take too long, granny is freezing!" I slip the dollar inside my trowsers. Guess I'll have to bring her the jacket before I can search the house. Now is the perfect time to get my business done, since half of the clan went of for a walk and the other half is in food narcosis. The stairways to the basment is near the front door. Instead of going up as I intended I guess I'll go down first. Maybe there is something of value burried under that house, that reminds me of a small golden palace. It's an old house for sure. But even the handle of the stairs into the depth of the basment is made of polished brown mahagoni. I can feel a breeze of cold air as I walk down. On the fifth step a light goes on and illuminates the wooden stairs and the big room beneath. The basment looks more like a playground. I can see a pool table and a dartboard and even a big black leather couch in the corner of the room. A bookshelf is standing next to it and a flat screen is mounted on the wall. And there on the couch I can see a small purple jacket. Finely folded like a present and just waiting for me. I shrug. Maybe old granny Esther isn't as crazy as she looks like. "Well whatever", I say and cross the room. Before picking up the jacket I take a look at the bookshelf. Maybe there is something interesting between Edgar Allen Poe and Stephen King? "Candy?" I said it out lout without even realising at first. It's a small pink book. The five letters are printed on the spine. I wouldn't care, but the coincidence is a little bit weird. I take a look back to the stairways. It's quiet here, but I can still hear dull voices from above. Without further hesitation I decide to take the book. I grab it's spine and pull. The book flaps over as I place my fingers around it... And stops halfway out of the shelf. I loose my grip and take a step backwards, surprised and quite confused I stare at the pink book with the title "Candy". Suddenly I can hear a sound. Gears turning and stones moving from side to side. Slowly i move back even further as the bookshelf itself begins to tremble. And with a loud screeching sound it sinks into the ground and I stare into a dark room. "What the f...", I say, but before I am able to finish my sentence, a voice reaches me through the small hallway infront of me. It's the voice of a woman. "Please, no..." My legs feel heavy. Like someone tied stones together and wrapped them around my feet. I try to swallow the lump in my throat. It doesn't work. I take two slow steps forward and suddenly a bright light flashes my eyes. I cover my face with my hands and I can hear the woman cry. "Leave me, please leave me! No!" As my eyes get used to the light I lower my hands. It's a small room. I take a deep breath and my body immediatly starts shaking as I smell the scent of piss, blood and old sweat. I cough, the salmon in my stomach starts a fight against the rib eye steak and before I am able to stop it, my mouth is filled with bitter juice that I throw up on the floor. I fall to my knees and the only sound emiting from my throat while the rest of my meal lands on the stones is a deep gurgling "whuuuuurghh..." I don't know how long I stayed in that position. But my nose and stomach somehow got used to the stench. Slowly I stand up. Half digested pieces of meat, fish and vegetable goo is spread all over the floor. I wipe my hands on my trowers and take a careful look into the room infront of me. It's small and round. A bucket stands next to the brick wall. Chained on a chair sits a young blonde woman. I take a step foreward, slowly, avoiding my own vomit. She is naked. She raises her head and looks at me. Her eyes are green. In the middle of the room is a small table. As I get closer I can see five large jars. They look like containers someone would use to store jam inside, just huge, maybe three times the size. The woman doesn't say a word. I stumble foreward, my legs are shaking. As i come closer I see the jars are filled with dollars. I lay my hands on the table, try to soothe my body. There is a small scrap of paper lying in the middle of the table, right infront of me. "One dollar for every day you survive, Candy", it says.	Why am I here? Why is everyone smiling like idiots. Something is wrong here. I do not care how long it's been since the entire family has stood under the same roof, there's no reason to be so happy about it. I now kinda remember why I don't get along with this family. They are weird, they smile with this weird intensity. It looks like as though they are enjoying something that I can't see or feel. Anyway there stands Beth, my wife, she's getting along nicely with my mother and some lady I know nothing about. Hmm, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that I do not recognise half the people here. It's supposed to be a family reunion is it not? I'm supposed to know these people... Well, I don't care, it doesn't matter I suppose, I just want this to be over, it's been, I think, hours and hours since we've been here, maybe more, I'm a little bit drunk. I set the wine glass on the table. There's a golden key inside a glass case at the table. "Whoa." I looked around, nobody was looking at me, so I opened the case and took the key from the velvet cushion and I stared at it, stared at it hard. A ringing sound fills my head. I suddenly feel dizzy, my eyesight is all blurry, and I close my eyes and hold my forehead. Then, slowly, the ringing sound fades away and I open my eyes. What I saw before me should've sent me into shock but it didn't. The people who had been talking and having drinks were looking at me, they were still smiling but their faces were blurred, wiped away, and their smiles were... Inhuman, it's hard to explain. But I look down to see, to my surprise, I was holding a white card, like a business card with black letters engraved on it that read: YOUR TIME IS UP. "The fuck?" Then I realised that I wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the other men in the party, I was wearing black. Like the stuff you wear when you go and rob someone at night, in the movies. I even had a black mask on. Also, I remember now, how I got here and why I was here. I'm a thief! I came here to rob the place, I had jumped the fence and climbed the pipes, broken the window in the second floor and slipped into the dark room. Everything after that is so fuzzy. Then I see her, the old lady stands at the far end of the room, smiling and waving like an insane person. Fuck. Now I remember, I had stashed up on some really valuable jewelry lying around in the some rooms upstairs and had decided to leave the same way I had broken in but when I reached the broken window, I saw the old lady standing there, blocking my way, she was looking outside. I decided to tip toe out of there, but she turned around suddenly and glided towards me, I was terrified, I thought she was some kind of ghost and that she was gonna kill me or possess me or some shit. But she hugged me. She hugged me! And I felt her hand slip into my pocket. "Here's a dollar for your time. For candy," she said. And and I don't remember anything that happened after that, next I know I was standing in the party, I had a wife called Beth next to me, I also had a mother and father here. What?! I didn't know these people, how long have I been here? I am fucking mental! I started freaking out and the people in black dresses glided towards me, smiling their insane smiles. "Nooooooooooooo." I wake up with a start. I realise that it was all a dream. A weird dream. What a weird dream! Then my phone vibrates and I see the notification:FAMILY REUNION AT 8 And I say, "Fuck."
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	It’s easier to bullshit your way into big parties than the small ones. Annie’s husband? Sure, I can be that. Lina’s dad? Aha, why not? Mike and Tony’s son in law? Right, and Anne’s my wife. You mean Annie, Anne is Mike and Tony’s daughter. Right right, and Anna is the grandma. (Right?) His distant cousin, her long-forgotten relative, I can be them all. I can be part of their family during their family reunion. Truth to be told, most people in this mansion know more about the person who designed their dresses or blouses or shoes than the person standing next to them. Sure, there are some exceptions, and you can tell by their faces when they talk to each other. But for most, this event is just a chance to admire the crystal chandeliers, fancy furniture, and talk business. Yet, they all kiss, hug, and touch as they participate in the annual ritual of chattering about how great this get together and their family are. Don’t get me wrong, this party is pretty much awesome. My pockets love every tug and pull and hug I get; it fills them with jewelry, credit cards and stacks of dead presidents. And then, there’s the ancient crow in the wheelchair. She’s different. She’s over a hundred and catatonic. An unresponsive stupor on wheels parked in the room’s corner and mostly avoided by the cheerful crowd. Cousin Mike said last year she suffered one stroke too many. One stroke too few, I’d say by the looks of her. That is, unless she enjoys being a piece of furniture. Maybe she does, it’s hard to say. There is a certain happiness in her eyes. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I do enjoy her crystal necklace very much. I snake through the crowd, avoiding cousin Leroy and his plump blond date sipping Dom Perignon, but get ambushed by Sandy McLean and his picture-perfect wife, receiving his bear hug and Visa Platinum. An honest handshake and diamond ring in my pocket later, I finally find my way to the wheelchair crone slumped in her chair, champagne flute in my hand, flashing my teeth as wide as my lips allow. “Granny--- Smith.” Sure, why not. “How long has it been?” She doesn’t answer. Mouth closed, eyes locked onto something distant, she’s just breathing. Those eyes. Pale blue eyes, gleaming almost as bright as her necklace. Annie’s eyes were like that. “Right… Lina.” Her name might be something else, I don’t know. Or care, to be honest. I guess I should have asked Mike when he mentioned her. But that necklace… The necklace is beautiful. Timeless. It sparkles. “So, Lina,” I tell her, “The truth is we’ve never met. But that’s okay, I bet you’ll forget about me anyway.” I put my glass in her lap, lean forward, hands reaching for her neck. “You see, people tend to forget ever seeing me. It’s funny, as soon as I leave the room, everyone pretends as if I don’t exist. As if I’m some kind of background, always there but you never pay attention to it. Like a big blue ocean. Southampton docks.” I pause. “ I don’t know why I said that. The words just keep pouring out of my mouth. Sorry about that. Let me just finish unhooking that necklace in a sec---“ There’s a bang of a gong and the party host, a man in his fifties with salt and pepper hair and Armani suit lifts his arm, Dom sizzling in his other hand. “May I have your attention please?” The room goes silent. “Thank you.” He clears his throat. “Almost one hundred and ten years ago, Annie McLean arrived in this country. Here, in the greatest place in the world, she gave birth to her seven children and started the McLean family. Our family.” The crowd in the room breaks into cheers and applauses. “Today, Annie’s oldest daughter, Lina Smith, turns one hundred and seven---” “Mike, she’s one hundred eight!” Gucci bag woman in high heels shouts from the crowd as the rest of the room burst in boos. The host Mike spreads his arms and calming them down, a wide grin on his face. “I know, I know. I was just checking if you’re paying attention. Today Lina turns one hundred and eight.” He turns toward the old lady I’m about to rob. Uh oh. Quickly, I grab my glass and lean back, necklace still hanging around her neck. I throw a fake smile and clap. “Wow! Can you imagine that?” The host says, staring straight at us, along with the whole room. “One hundred and eight!” He lifts her champagne flute “Happy birthday Lina!” The rest of the room cheers. “Phew,” I say to the old crow. “That could have gone much worse. Wait, your name---” “As you all know,” Mike says, “Lina has been instrumental in making our family what we are today.” “A group of rich bastards!” Sandy McLean, the bear hug minus his credit card guy yells from the crowd. Mike points at him and grins “That too. For over forty years, with her six half-brothers, Lina has been a co-chair of McLain Oli.” He glances at Lina. ”Hey, a fun fact. The necklace she’s wearing today belonged to---” Annie McLean. “---her mother Annie McLean. It was a” --- Mike makes air quotes --- “gift from---” Me. I stole that necklace from a jewelry store in Southampton and gave it to her. She was so mad. She said she’d return it the next day, after the ship sails so I don't go to jail. I just wanted Annie to have something pretty, something to remember me. It was stupid. “The neckless was a gift from her then-husband Seymour before he boarded RMS Titanic in 1912,” Mike says. “That necklace is the only surviving piece of Annie’s jewelry that she had before arriving in this country. Yeah, they were that poor. Those were different times, folks." “Lina... I'm sorry.” I whisper, looking at the old woman in the wheelchair, a daughter I never knew I had. I don't think she hears me. My whisper is drowned by the crowd laughing at Mike's joke. "So," Mike continues, "that necklace is special for all of us. As is Lina’s father, God bless his soul.” The crowd nods and claps quietly, some lifting their glasses, others sipping their drinks. “At McLean Oil, Lina handled everything from the finance department to oil field discovery expeditions, and during that time and with her unwavering dedication to her job and her family, she made a path for us younger folks---” “Mike,“ Sandy pipes in again “You’re old.” “Thanks, Sandy,” Mike says as the rest of the room bursts into laughter. “Lina made a path for us --- young and old --- to become what we are now. Successful business owners, university professors, world-renowned medical experts, yes, rich bastards too. And, if I may add, some of us have been"--- he coughs --- "or are the governors of the greatest state in the greatest country in the world.” “Booo! Showoff!” A woman in the crowd yells and gives him a thumbs down. She then smiling and winks as the crowd laughs and chuckles again. “So,” Mike raises his glass again, “To Lina! Thank you for all you’ve done for us! Happy birthday.” “Happy birthday!” everyone shouts in unison. Happy birthday, my daughter, if you can hear me. How many times have I've done before? “And remember to check your wallets before you leave, folks!” Mike says cheerfully. ”As Lina used to say, this mansion is haunted by the spirit of old Seymour ‘Quickfinger’ Smith. But don't leave yet! This party has just started. Mingle, laugh, chat with each other. Get to know your family!” &#x200B; /r/ZwhoWrites	Why am I here? Why is everyone smiling like idiots. Something is wrong here. I do not care how long it's been since the entire family has stood under the same roof, there's no reason to be so happy about it. I now kinda remember why I don't get along with this family. They are weird, they smile with this weird intensity. It looks like as though they are enjoying something that I can't see or feel. Anyway there stands Beth, my wife, she's getting along nicely with my mother and some lady I know nothing about. Hmm, now that I think about it, it's kinda weird that I do not recognise half the people here. It's supposed to be a family reunion is it not? I'm supposed to know these people... Well, I don't care, it doesn't matter I suppose, I just want this to be over, it's been, I think, hours and hours since we've been here, maybe more, I'm a little bit drunk. I set the wine glass on the table. There's a golden key inside a glass case at the table. "Whoa." I looked around, nobody was looking at me, so I opened the case and took the key from the velvet cushion and I stared at it, stared at it hard. A ringing sound fills my head. I suddenly feel dizzy, my eyesight is all blurry, and I close my eyes and hold my forehead. Then, slowly, the ringing sound fades away and I open my eyes. What I saw before me should've sent me into shock but it didn't. The people who had been talking and having drinks were looking at me, they were still smiling but their faces were blurred, wiped away, and their smiles were... Inhuman, it's hard to explain. But I look down to see, to my surprise, I was holding a white card, like a business card with black letters engraved on it that read: YOUR TIME IS UP. "The fuck?" Then I realised that I wasn't wearing a tuxedo like the other men in the party, I was wearing black. Like the stuff you wear when you go and rob someone at night, in the movies. I even had a black mask on. Also, I remember now, how I got here and why I was here. I'm a thief! I came here to rob the place, I had jumped the fence and climbed the pipes, broken the window in the second floor and slipped into the dark room. Everything after that is so fuzzy. Then I see her, the old lady stands at the far end of the room, smiling and waving like an insane person. Fuck. Now I remember, I had stashed up on some really valuable jewelry lying around in the some rooms upstairs and had decided to leave the same way I had broken in but when I reached the broken window, I saw the old lady standing there, blocking my way, she was looking outside. I decided to tip toe out of there, but she turned around suddenly and glided towards me, I was terrified, I thought she was some kind of ghost and that she was gonna kill me or possess me or some shit. But she hugged me. She hugged me! And I felt her hand slip into my pocket. "Here's a dollar for your time. For candy," she said. And and I don't remember anything that happened after that, next I know I was standing in the party, I had a wife called Beth next to me, I also had a mother and father here. What?! I didn't know these people, how long have I been here? I am fucking mental! I started freaking out and the people in black dresses glided towards me, smiling their insane smiles. "Nooooooooooooo." I wake up with a start. I realise that it was all a dream. A weird dream. What a weird dream! Then my phone vibrates and I see the notification:FAMILY REUNION AT 8 And I say, "Fuck."
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	The interview was going about as well as could be expected. That is to say, it was going terrible. The interviewer was a tall thin blonde-haired man with hipster glasses. He had been furiously writing down notes, while the audio recorder sat passively on the desk. In all of his years, he had never, ever, imagined that he would be interviewing a Legend. And yet, there she was. She leaned back in her chair and took a drag from a cigarette. Her hair was pulled back tight into a ponytail, and she wore a white button-down blouse. She had an air of effortless elegance. "No," she said as she tapped her cigarette over the ashtray, "I don't steal from people. Not anymore." "Why not?" he asked her inquisitively. "It didn't feel right." The interviewer wrinkled his brow. This woman was a cold-hearted criminal. A lifetime of high-profile heists, burglaries, and break-ins that would put Daniel Ocean to shame. She had evaded law enforcement with ease, even taunting them at times. For almost a decade, she had been on every most-wanted list from Los Angeles to Beijing. "You've never had any qualms about stealing before. What was the reason for your sudden change of heart?" She took one last drag from her cigarette and crushed it out in the ashtray. She glanced down at the table with the tape recorder and finally spoke: "Candy." I don't like hitting residences. Too many unknowns, too unpredictable. When you break into a business, you can expect the same things pretty much every time. A few cameras, a barely-conscious security guard, a few locked doors... easy. But when you go into a residence, you never know. Maybe the homeowner has a dog, or maybe they're up late at night getting a sandwich. Too much risk. Better to hide in plain sight and just waltz right through the front door. A maintenance technician or pest control is usually pretty safe. The key to any successful job is preparation. Do your homework. Memorize every little detail. If something is out of place, they're going to know. And that's why I do it perfect, every time. This job was supposed to be no different. They were a rich, eccentric family. Nobody seemed to know how they came to be so wealthy, but nobody seemed to care much. They had a facebook page inviting "extended family members" to their annual reunion. Perfect. When I showed up at the party, the place was absolute chaos. Children running around, laughing. Folks chatting in the living room, munching on hors d'oeuvres. A few folks even said hello to me. Pssht... these simpletons are blissfully unaware of the wolf roaming around in their very midst. Bedrooms are always where people keep their valuables. So that's where I was headed. As I made my way down the hall, a petite elderly lady approached me. "Oh hello dear! It's so good to finally meet you!" I nodded slightly and smiled, trying to think of an excuse. "I'm sorry. I don't know my way around here. Is this the way to the bathroom?" The old woman smiled at me "Go down that hallway. Second door on your left. Oh! And take this." She handed me a single folded dollar bill. "In case you want to buy some candy." The interviewer stopped the tape. "Hold on, you're telling me that nobody at that reunion even questioned why you were there?" The woman across the table smiled wryly. "No. It's like they were expecting me to show up. I probably should have just walked away from the whole thing but..." her voice trailed off. "But what?" She looked wistfully at the ashtray. "But they knew I wouldn't do that. They knew the whole time." The old woman was gone. I glanced down at the dollar in my hand before quickly stuffing it in my purse. "Idiots," I thought to myself. A moment later I found what I was looking for. Bedroom safe. Located behind a picture on the wall. And this model safe had a known flaw that made cracking it as cinch. Boy, this was almost too easy. Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-THUNK! The din of the crowd drowned out any chances of somebody hearing me while I handily worked. A moment later, the safe door was open and inside I found...something. "What was it?" The interview leaned forward, his pen twitching in his hand. It looked like some kind of glowing yellow orb. It shimmered and shone, but it was hard to focus on it, like it wasn't completely solid. As I reached my hand into the safe to grab it, the whole room turned a blinding white light. I blinked. I wasn't in the bedroom anymore. I wasn't even in the house anymore. I was... In Mister McGarret's hardware store. I'm seven years old, and I'm staring up at a Snickers bar next to the cash register. Mister McGarret is busy ringing up a purchase for my mother when I realized that this moment. THIS EXACT MOMENT was the first time I had ever stolen anything. I remember now, I stole that snickers bar. My mother told me that we couldn't afford things like that and so I... I had just taken it. The first of many things in my life that I would take. At that point I looked down in my hand and saw a single dollar clutched in my palm. "For Candy."	There’s this thing about rich people in rural parts of that country that make them feel untouchable. Car keys are always in the ignitions, and doors are always unlocked. It’s all about distance. Who would make the trip out to where they are? When nothing has happened to your home after living there for 20+ years, it’s easy to think nothing ever will. The Rollings have quite a few parties every year. The music is loud, and the drinks are poured over the brim. After a few hours, an elephant could walk in and take the place. Despite that, I still do my best to scope the place out without drawing attention to myself. Floor plans can be found online and studied, but houses are still furnished in ways that make them easy to get lost in. When I first got here, the gates to the house were open. Of course they were. Why ask your family to stop, park the car, hit the keypad, hop back in your car, wait for them to open, then drive through. Especially for a reunion of a family this size. I must have walked past anywhere between 40 and 50 cars on the way in. And everyone is so nice. “Hey!” “Great to see ya!” “How’s it been? Feels like I haven’t seen you since you were a kid!” These people haven’t seen each other in so many years, they don’t even know what each other looks like. I smiled and waved and tried to match their enthusiasm with my eyes. The number one trick to blending in is not being memorable. But at the same time, it felt like people were shouting greetings more at me than at others; must have been my paranoia. So when I walked in, I grabbed a drink and started making my way from one room to the next, never lingering long, and definitely avoiding the rooms with less than 5 people. The last thing I wanted to do was start a conversation I couldn’t talk my way out of. Walking with a sense of purpose certainly helps with that. My eyes were always forward, always scanning as if I was looking for that one person I wanted to talk to. It was then, I turned a corner and almost knocked over an old lady carrying a small plate of appetizers to the dining room I just left. “Ope, sorry,” I say in a slightly louder-than-normal whisper. I manage to save my drink, and her bacon-wrapped water chestnuts stay put thanks to the sticky sauce that seems to have them transfixed to the plate. There was a man walking behind her that I nodded to as he chuckled at the narrowly avoided disaster. “Oh, it’s OK, dear. Luckily, you’re young enough to avoid an old woman like me shuffling through the hallway,” she says with a smile. Her eyes darted to the man now walking past me to the dining room. “Mhm, sorry to disturb you!” I reply while starting my way past her to the next room. “Would you mind being a dear and pull a chair out for me?” she asks. Shit. I can’t be caught here with her. The next thing she’ll ask is for me to sit with her a while and ask who’s kid am I and how’s work going, and so on. I have to think of an excuse quickly. “I’m really sorry but I’ve been searching for a bathroom for ten minutes and I keep getting lost in these halls. I’ll swing back around and refill your app plate. Is that OK?” Hopefully, that’s enough of an excuse for her. So I turn to make my way down the hall when all of a sudden she grabs my wrist and places a dollar in my hand. “Now darling, I need you to come back and give me some more of that candy,” she says under her breath. She finishes it off with a wink, which really sends me over the creepy edge. I’m not sure who she thinks I am, or what type of candy she’s talking about, but I’m definitely the wrong guy. I start to grab her hand to remove it from mine when I see one of the family portraits behind her. I have no idea how I missed such a vital detail in my research scoping this place out, but my eyes slowly start to widen as I notice one of the children in the portrait. I say child, but this portrait was done relatively recently, and all the children have grown into young adults. It was at this moment that I suddenly realized I bear a striking resemblance to one of the sons. As I begin to formulate my response, I look down at the old lady again just in time to see her looking over my shoulder, and her jaw drops. Her eyes begin to dart back and forth between a spot over my shoulder, and my face. I could feel the color drain and panic start to set in. Right at that moment, I hear a voice come from behind me. “Oh, hi Grandma! I’m back with that candy you asked for, but you can’t tell dad I got it for you!!”
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	It’s easier to bullshit your way into big parties than the small ones. Annie’s husband? Sure, I can be that. Lina’s dad? Aha, why not? Mike and Tony’s son in law? Right, and Anne’s my wife. You mean Annie, Anne is Mike and Tony’s daughter. Right right, and Anna is the grandma. (Right?) His distant cousin, her long-forgotten relative, I can be them all. I can be part of their family during their family reunion. Truth to be told, most people in this mansion know more about the person who designed their dresses or blouses or shoes than the person standing next to them. Sure, there are some exceptions, and you can tell by their faces when they talk to each other. But for most, this event is just a chance to admire the crystal chandeliers, fancy furniture, and talk business. Yet, they all kiss, hug, and touch as they participate in the annual ritual of chattering about how great this get together and their family are. Don’t get me wrong, this party is pretty much awesome. My pockets love every tug and pull and hug I get; it fills them with jewelry, credit cards and stacks of dead presidents. And then, there’s the ancient crow in the wheelchair. She’s different. She’s over a hundred and catatonic. An unresponsive stupor on wheels parked in the room’s corner and mostly avoided by the cheerful crowd. Cousin Mike said last year she suffered one stroke too many. One stroke too few, I’d say by the looks of her. That is, unless she enjoys being a piece of furniture. Maybe she does, it’s hard to say. There is a certain happiness in her eyes. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I do enjoy her crystal necklace very much. I snake through the crowd, avoiding cousin Leroy and his plump blond date sipping Dom Perignon, but get ambushed by Sandy McLean and his picture-perfect wife, receiving his bear hug and Visa Platinum. An honest handshake and diamond ring in my pocket later, I finally find my way to the wheelchair crone slumped in her chair, champagne flute in my hand, flashing my teeth as wide as my lips allow. “Granny--- Smith.” Sure, why not. “How long has it been?” She doesn’t answer. Mouth closed, eyes locked onto something distant, she’s just breathing. Those eyes. Pale blue eyes, gleaming almost as bright as her necklace. Annie’s eyes were like that. “Right… Lina.” Her name might be something else, I don’t know. Or care, to be honest. I guess I should have asked Mike when he mentioned her. But that necklace… The necklace is beautiful. Timeless. It sparkles. “So, Lina,” I tell her, “The truth is we’ve never met. But that’s okay, I bet you’ll forget about me anyway.” I put my glass in her lap, lean forward, hands reaching for her neck. “You see, people tend to forget ever seeing me. It’s funny, as soon as I leave the room, everyone pretends as if I don’t exist. As if I’m some kind of background, always there but you never pay attention to it. Like a big blue ocean. Southampton docks.” I pause. “ I don’t know why I said that. The words just keep pouring out of my mouth. Sorry about that. Let me just finish unhooking that necklace in a sec---“ There’s a bang of a gong and the party host, a man in his fifties with salt and pepper hair and Armani suit lifts his arm, Dom sizzling in his other hand. “May I have your attention please?” The room goes silent. “Thank you.” He clears his throat. “Almost one hundred and ten years ago, Annie McLean arrived in this country. Here, in the greatest place in the world, she gave birth to her seven children and started the McLean family. Our family.” The crowd in the room breaks into cheers and applauses. “Today, Annie’s oldest daughter, Lina Smith, turns one hundred and seven---” “Mike, she’s one hundred eight!” Gucci bag woman in high heels shouts from the crowd as the rest of the room burst in boos. The host Mike spreads his arms and calming them down, a wide grin on his face. “I know, I know. I was just checking if you’re paying attention. Today Lina turns one hundred and eight.” He turns toward the old lady I’m about to rob. Uh oh. Quickly, I grab my glass and lean back, necklace still hanging around her neck. I throw a fake smile and clap. “Wow! Can you imagine that?” The host says, staring straight at us, along with the whole room. “One hundred and eight!” He lifts her champagne flute “Happy birthday Lina!” The rest of the room cheers. “Phew,” I say to the old crow. “That could have gone much worse. Wait, your name---” “As you all know,” Mike says, “Lina has been instrumental in making our family what we are today.” “A group of rich bastards!” Sandy McLean, the bear hug minus his credit card guy yells from the crowd. Mike points at him and grins “That too. For over forty years, with her six half-brothers, Lina has been a co-chair of McLain Oli.” He glances at Lina. ”Hey, a fun fact. The necklace she’s wearing today belonged to---” Annie McLean. “---her mother Annie McLean. It was a” --- Mike makes air quotes --- “gift from---” Me. I stole that necklace from a jewelry store in Southampton and gave it to her. She was so mad. She said she’d return it the next day, after the ship sails so I don't go to jail. I just wanted Annie to have something pretty, something to remember me. It was stupid. “The neckless was a gift from her then-husband Seymour before he boarded RMS Titanic in 1912,” Mike says. “That necklace is the only surviving piece of Annie’s jewelry that she had before arriving in this country. Yeah, they were that poor. Those were different times, folks." “Lina... I'm sorry.” I whisper, looking at the old woman in the wheelchair, a daughter I never knew I had. I don't think she hears me. My whisper is drowned by the crowd laughing at Mike's joke. "So," Mike continues, "that necklace is special for all of us. As is Lina’s father, God bless his soul.” The crowd nods and claps quietly, some lifting their glasses, others sipping their drinks. “At McLean Oil, Lina handled everything from the finance department to oil field discovery expeditions, and during that time and with her unwavering dedication to her job and her family, she made a path for us younger folks---” “Mike,“ Sandy pipes in again “You’re old.” “Thanks, Sandy,” Mike says as the rest of the room bursts into laughter. “Lina made a path for us --- young and old --- to become what we are now. Successful business owners, university professors, world-renowned medical experts, yes, rich bastards too. And, if I may add, some of us have been"--- he coughs --- "or are the governors of the greatest state in the greatest country in the world.” “Booo! Showoff!” A woman in the crowd yells and gives him a thumbs down. She then smiling and winks as the crowd laughs and chuckles again. “So,” Mike raises his glass again, “To Lina! Thank you for all you’ve done for us! Happy birthday.” “Happy birthday!” everyone shouts in unison. Happy birthday, my daughter, if you can hear me. How many times have I've done before? “And remember to check your wallets before you leave, folks!” Mike says cheerfully. ”As Lina used to say, this mansion is haunted by the spirit of old Seymour ‘Quickfinger’ Smith. But don't leave yet! This party has just started. Mingle, laugh, chat with each other. Get to know your family!” &#x200B; /r/ZwhoWrites	As she entered the bedroom through the window, Jessica noticed the family’s coats on the bed. She looked at them. High quality brands, this family was probably rich. She started going through the drawers, looking for either money or things to sell. She went through the jewelry box, lots of expensive necklaces and rings. She stuffed those in her pockets. As she made her way to the bathroom to look for secret compartments, she noticed a member coming down the hall, so she hid in the closet. A few minutes later, she walked into the bathroom and started tearing the place apart. She found a compartment in the back of the medicine cabinet and found $1000. A smile spread on her face. Then, she heard footsteps and tried to walk away, but she was stopped by an old lady. “Allison, is that you?” she asked. Jessica assumed Allison was her granddaughter. “Yes. How are you grandma?” she replied, while confused “I am doing fine. I know you need to leave for your other job soon, so here’s some money for candy. I love you, nugget.” said the old lady as she gave Jessica $1 “I love you too, grandma. Thanks for the money.” “You’re welcome, sweetie.” said the old lady as she hugged her ‘What just happened?’ She thought. Jessica decided she was done so she walked through the living room, where everybody was. No one noticed her was she walked out the door, in all black, with a bag full of money and valuables. Jessica walked by the gas station. ‘Well, the old lady gave me money for candy, why not use it?’ She walked in and picked out a bar she hadn’t eaten since she was a child. As she paid for it, she thought of that kind old lady. ‘Thank you for bringing my childhood back.’ She thought as she walked the rest of the way home.
[WP] You decide to rob a house while a family reunion is happening, not only no one pays you attention to your attempts but an old lady just hugged you and secretly passed you a one dollar bill "for candy"	They were dressed smart for their party. Suits and skirts, ties and necklaces. Even the kids were better dressed than I'd ever been, shoes polished, black and blemishless. It was a small house but a big party, people pouring in and out of the ever-open front-door. Easy enough to join the stream; no one blinked an eyelid as I floated on in amongst them. Well, maybe just a passing glance from a pale old lady heading in behind me. Almost too easy. What you're looking for, at places like this, are little things that don't leave a big space behind, that don't unearth secrets best left hidden. Little things with a lot of value. The party itself was dull. No wonder so many people were coming and going. No music or anything. A few snacks laid out. A few drinks to pour. Even fewer smiles being passed around. Was like the people barely knew each other, or if they did, had fallen out long ago and were just doing their politenesses. A poor house with poor owners. That was clear. The hosts, who stood in the middle of the kitchen, shook hands with their better-dressed guests as they arrived. Scratchy, broken-taped voices, "Thanks for coming thanks for coming thanks for coming." They were a man and woman with matching rings. Clothes not quite threadbare, but not silk or satin either. A gold photo-frame is what stuck out to me. Caught my attention. Maybe the only thing of real value here. The photo inside it was of a thin kid, head-shaven, smiling. Maybe thirteen and tucked in-between the hosts. And they looked different in the photo -- faces less wrinkled, smiles higher up their faces. I took the picture out and pocketed the frame. Little else of value, I left the downstairs unnoticed. Headed up for a little snoop around. Nothing much in the parent's bedroom. Nothing but a bed and near-empty wardrobes. As if they had no belongings at all, or had sold everything they had. Other than that, just a kid's bedroom. Toys. Film posters -- heist and spy movies -- that looked a little familiar. A full room, nothing here sold. But nothing of value, either. Then I heard it. A cry from downstairs. Had I been rumbled? I took the stairs stealthily, slowly. Most importantly, silently. Only went half-way down. There they were. The hosts. In the hallway. The woman was holding something up. Crying. "Who took it?!" Her hand trembled. In it was the golden frame, but there was no photograph inside. "Who did this?" said the wife. "I think you best give it back," whispered an old lady behind me, making me jump. She must've crept down the stairs after me. "Don't you?" Crap. Spotted. It was the pale lady who'd followed me in. "Give what back?" "The photo you took." "Huh? I didn't took no photo." And it was true, I hadn't. I'd taken a frame, sure. Except... the frame was being waved around wildly by the crying woman. My hand slipped into my pocket and there it was. The photo. Had someone planted it on me? "I didn't mean to," I said. "I know," said the old lady. She smiled, not unkindly. "But all the same, they need it back." I stared at it a moment, at the photo. Then just like that I let it drift down the rest of the stairs, drift down next to the weeping lady's shoes. Guess I'd broken my own rule: took something that'd left a big space. Her husband reached down and picked it up. She snatched it from him, like it was precious, and cradled it. They both looked up to the stairs, eyes roamed over us -- but they must have been looking for someone else as they can't have thought me or the old woman suspicious. "It was Erik. I know it was," the lady said. The husband wrapped an arm around her waist and led her out of the room, back into the kitchen. She clutched the picture to her chest. "Are you ready to leave now?" asked the old lady. "I don't know," I said. "I don't think I got what I came here for." "I think you did," she said. "And you really can't be here any longer. I shouldn't be either, but someone had to fetch you." I looked at her, confused by dull eyes that shone bright. She didn't seem angry. "They love you," she said. "Death can't stop that." It's strange how it all came back. The memories, they fell on me as a slow warmth. Like how sunlight steals in through gaps between branches. Dapples the dark earth with gentle light, just enough so something small can grow. "I don't want to go," I said. Salt crept into my mouth. "I know. But all the same, it's time for us both to leave." She held out an old wrinkled hand. I took it. Trembled into it. "Won't they be lonely," I said, "once I've gone?" "You won't be gone," she said, "they'll just need to look a little harder to find you." Then, together, we walked right out the front door with no one even noticing. &#x200B; \--- &#x200B; /r/nickofstatic	The cover story was simple. Kelly-Anne was a second cousin from Florida who didn’t have time to respond to the invitation. That was, if anyone paid her any attention anyway. So far, no one had. She had spent three hours working the three-story house over and was confident she had collected every small item of value inside her blue ‘Stitch’ backpack. By her estimation, she had the better part of twenty grand in jewellery and knickknacks. This family didn’t seem to have a lot, but they knew quality. No gum paste here. She was just about out the door, when she heard, “There you are, Angel!” and before she could take another step, one of the older ladies on a walker managed to corner her inside the entryway. Kelly could only stare at the front door that was blocked by the metal walking frame. “Oh, my word, honey! How are you?” she demanded, wrapping her tiny arms around Kelly’s waist and giving her a tight squeeze. This was Ma Windsor. In three hours Kelly had worked out who was who based on overheard conversations. Ma Windsor was the crazy old biddie from New York. Kelly went immediately into damage control. “Ma Windsor! It’s good to see you too.” As the two hugged, Kelly felt the older woman slip a one-dollar bill into her hand and looked across at her in confusion. “What’s this for?” she whispered. “Consider it the first honest dollar you’ve ever earned, dear,” the old bat whispered, though she did so with a beaming smile on her face. “And put back every god-damned thing you’ve been lifting all over the house before I bend you over that walker and ask my nieces and nephews if any of them have their cuffs on them.” Her smile lit up the sky as she squeezed once more, then stepped back. Her eyes said another thing entirely. Looking around the room, Kelly suddenly realised every set of eyes was on her, and none of them were friendly. Small, subtle movements of their clothing revealed more than one badge amongst them. A quick count had them in the double figures, and not all of them were silver. *FUCK!* &#x200B; ((All comments welcome)) For more of my work: [r/Angel466](https://www.reddit.com/r/Angel466/)
[WP] Your neighbors were concerned when you moved into the local haunted house. You were worried at first too, but the messages written in blood on the mirrors are... oddly supportive.	Martha opened the door to her own front yard and was met with two pale, worried faces. She unconsciously took a step back. “Who are you?” “We’re your new neighbors- we live in the brown house on the corner. We had been trying to reach you when you were touring the house but now it’s too late. You’ve already bought it,” said the man. His wife shook her head. “We’ve lived on Folsom Street for twenty years, and this house has been haunted for fifteen. Be very, very careful,” she said. “We just wanted to warn you.” At a momentary loss for words, Martha took a glance behind her. No ghosts, just a bare hallway and a couple moving boxes. “I haven’t noticed anything so far,” she said. “But thanks for warning me.” She nodded at the couple and closed the door, heart picking up. Ghosts? Demons? All at once, her new house seemed empty and sinister. She had an intense bout of insomnia that night, and dreamed that the hallway wouldn’t stop creaking and groaning. There was blood spattered on her bathroom mirror when she rose to shower. Martha jumped and screamed shortly. Keep on keeping on, it said. She raised a finger to the first letter, and the metallic smell wafted around her. She was late for work. Martha had no choice but to creep out of the house and drive shakily to the new office. She heard noises the whole day, and noticed quick shadows slipping in and out of her cubicle. The message had changed when she ran up the hallway to the bathroom. Look behind you, she saw. She looked, and her heart flew to her throat. “Don’t be scared, please!” said the gray little boy. Against every fiber of her being, she knelt slowly down and met his eyes. “Are you a ghost?” she asked. “I don’t know. My aunt and uncle trapped me here, and I’m supposed to eat everyone who moves here. They make sure I do when they visit- they’re coming now,” he said. Martha noticed he was fully, albeit unintentionally, blocking the doorway. “But I don’t want to eat anyone!” he said, in the high voice of a nervous nine year old. She felt a sudden urge to rise to the bathroom window, and saw the dark forms of the couple who had introduced themselves yesterday as neighbors. Glancing back, the boy had disappeared into the musty air.	Nisha wished there were bots that could help her brush. She is all aboutthe therapeutic value of repetitive motion but not when my mouth is full and she is paranoid about not doing enough. "You're your own worst enemy" read the writing on the mirror that Nisha was trying not to look at. It get's old, when you see it everyday. The dripping blood, the creepy cursive, the haunted house, the jittery neighbors. Frankly, she had expected a great deal worse given what a snatch this property was. But the thing with reading something first thing in the morning is that it gets stuck in your head. Nisha couldn't shake off the thought that the ghost/angle/super natural being who was haunting her house was on her team. It's almost as if this is the therapy session she has so far managed to escape. Like just yesterday it said, "things happen for a reason" and then there was a old piece of hash she found in her dirty trousers. And the funny thing is Nisha almost always forgets to check the pockets before putting the laundry away. But not yesterday. Co incidence and ghosts can't exist in teh same house so we know which one it was. She is starting to think this is a lonely creature trying to establish intimacy. The thing about loneliness is that it spills out and makes its presence felt. Even ghost/angle/super natural beings can't mask that shit. It's not like she would have left the house had the thing been scary. After the childhood she'd had a few lurking invisible things couldn't scare her. But she has to admit that this not having a physical form does present a problem. Like how are you even supposed to decide how you feel about something when you can't picture what they look like. I guess as long as it's just the bloody messages and a couple of broken glasses she can live with the thing that helps her find old bits of hash.
[WP] Your neighbors were concerned when you moved into the local haunted house. You were worried at first too, but the messages written in blood on the mirrors are... oddly supportive.	I always got odd looks from the neighbors. Yeah, the house looked like it had taken a beating, but I loved it regardless. Just before I left work, I looked in the mirror one last time. I smiled at myself, but right before I headed in the direction of the door, ruby red blood began to smear on the mirror. Check your teeth It said, the blood dribbling down the reflective surface. I opened my mouth again to see a herb in my teeth from the Chinese I had the night before when my friends came round. I quickly picked it out and then nodded at the mirror as a thanks, before heading to the door and opening it. The old neighbors across the street looked out of their window in confusion, looking at the mood of my face. "What do you think is happening in there, dear?" One said. "I don't know, but he must be hiding something," another grumbled. Their old eyes kept watching me until I pulled out of the road in my old Volkswagen golf, on my way to what I would find out to be one of my best days yet. Once I got back home, I burst through the door in happiness- I was promoted at work! I faced the mirror as I unknotted my tie from my neck, and once again the red blood began to slosh on the mirror - Great work, buddy With a smiley face slowly flooding the mirror. I understand why everyone on my street believes I have issues, but I think it's pretty awesome having a mirror inspiring me every day. My first time ever doing a writing prompt, loved it!	Nisha wished there were bots that could help her brush. She is all aboutthe therapeutic value of repetitive motion but not when my mouth is full and she is paranoid about not doing enough. "You're your own worst enemy" read the writing on the mirror that Nisha was trying not to look at. It get's old, when you see it everyday. The dripping blood, the creepy cursive, the haunted house, the jittery neighbors. Frankly, she had expected a great deal worse given what a snatch this property was. But the thing with reading something first thing in the morning is that it gets stuck in your head. Nisha couldn't shake off the thought that the ghost/angle/super natural being who was haunting her house was on her team. It's almost as if this is the therapy session she has so far managed to escape. Like just yesterday it said, "things happen for a reason" and then there was a old piece of hash she found in her dirty trousers. And the funny thing is Nisha almost always forgets to check the pockets before putting the laundry away. But not yesterday. Co incidence and ghosts can't exist in teh same house so we know which one it was. She is starting to think this is a lonely creature trying to establish intimacy. The thing about loneliness is that it spills out and makes its presence felt. Even ghost/angle/super natural beings can't mask that shit. It's not like she would have left the house had the thing been scary. After the childhood she'd had a few lurking invisible things couldn't scare her. But she has to admit that this not having a physical form does present a problem. Like how are you even supposed to decide how you feel about something when you can't picture what they look like. I guess as long as it's just the bloody messages and a couple of broken glasses she can live with the thing that helps her find old bits of hash.
[WP] Your neighbors were concerned when you moved into the local haunted house. You were worried at first too, but the messages written in blood on the mirrors are... oddly supportive.	The neighbours had come out to receive Agatha as son as she had parked her car outside her new house. It was nice of them, but really, she would rather have been left alone. Life hadn’t been exactly easy for the last few months, with James leaving and her mother nearly cutting her out. Agatha wanted some peace and quiet, on her own, before she had to face the fact that she had moved to a new city and had to start over again. ‘So…’ began one of the neighbours, a woman maybe five years older than her. ‘What made you go for this place?’ ‘It was cheap,’ answered Agatha, and refrained from adding “also it was far away from my ex and everything I knew”. There was a thing such as TMI. ‘Yes, but… well, did the state agents not say anything about it?’ ‘That it might need a new boiler, and that the central heating needs a good look. But I’ve already hired an engineer to…’ ‘Look, I’m sorry, and I know how this is gonna sound,’ the woman interrupted. ‘But the place just has bad vibes. People have died in there.’ Agatha shrugged. ‘People die everywhere.’ Which was why, the next morning, she didn’t think much when she found the first message. It was scrawled next to the boxes she had propped up as a sort of temporary table for her toiletries, in what seemed to be dry matte lipstick. It read – A burden shared is a burden halved :) Agatha stared at it for a moment. Had it been there, last night? She couldn’t remember. She had been too tired, and too lost in her own thoughts to look much around the house. ‘Not touching that,’ she grumbled. The house had been unsold for so long that she shouldn’t be surprised to find some graffiti. Cheerier than expected but graffiti nevertheless. It didn’t matter. Everything was coming down, she’d get new wallpaper in or else just repaint over every wall, and every crack of her past life. But something else was waiting for her when she came out of the shower. Just over the little vase where she had put her toothbrush: always a light at the end of the tunnel! And that one she knew hadn’t been there last night. Agatha remembered because she had noticed a cobweb just next to the faucet, and had cleaned it before putting her toothbrush there. It had been a perfectly empty wall. She sat on the toilet, in her towel, staring at the message. ‘That’s it,’ she said out loud. ‘I’m going crazy. The anti-depressants are making me crazy.’ Something began to appear on the mirror, next to the previous message. It looked like blood, vivid red oozing over the surface. Agatha ran away, into the room and then down the stairs. But the only thing she was wearing was only a towel, and a small one at that. Where were her clothes? She couldn’t even remember where she’d packed them, nevermind where she’d left the suitcase. Even worse, half-words were following her as she ran around the house, shoving boxes one way or the other. Every time the words began to crawl on the walls, the windows, the mirrors, she whipped her head away to avoid them Wait! Sor Hey! Sorry! Look – I’m so Just Can I ‘Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,’ she ended up crouching down, arms around her head. ‘I’m going mad, I’m going crazy, I’m seeing things.’ Agatha remained that way for a while, rocking herself forwards and backwards until her breathing calmed down. After some time, she looked up. And saw I’m really sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you. But I’m here if you want to talk :) That was the last message that appeared that day. Later, much later, when she had done some headway in packing, she collapsed on a kitchen chair. She felt tired, woozy really. The physical exercise and the new place had made her head feel oddly empty. Munching on an apple, and wishing she had something more substantial, she asked out loud – ‘Wonder if there’s a good Chinese place around here…’ And she didn’t have to wait for an answer. Bloody letters began to ooze from the wallpaper over the cooker, dripping down in ghastly red. Try the Tasty Kitchen, promise it’s better than its name! Agatha took a deep breath, gathering her hair and letting her head hang for a second. For a moment she held onto the breath, then let it go. ‘You know. Maybe we can make this work.’ Her answer was: I’m so glad! I hope you’ll find this place welcoming! There was heart at the end of the sentence. Agatha sensed the words were true, and hid no ill intent. Shame about the blood, though.	The house had character, it wasn't like the new house on the street all blocky and white, it was a weather worn, double brick structure made of hard work and soild door frames. The inside was very much the same, nothing fancy but it had soul. I was excited, the backyard was big enough for a small chicken coop and a nice veggie garden. My neighbours were being odd, I had taken over some cookies, cooked in my not so new kitchen when I was asked if "anything weird had happened" I thought "not really it's was a little cold but so was my childhood home and I like it that way" "No one has stayed there long, people say it's haunted" ok? These people have perfect lawns dispite the fact I can hear a dog and they think my home has a ghost, if the lawn wasn't enough of a reason, I dislike these people. The few nights were lovely, my cat and dog enjoyed the large bed I was able to fit into the master bedroom, I still have no space to sleep on but anyway. I woke up this morning to the smell of male cologne, which is strange but what I found in the bathroom was very strange. On the mirror in what looked like blood was a message. "Those wretched cats were bothering your hens last night" This was alarming but when I went outside to check them they were all huddled in the nest box and I didn't get my normal morning hello. As I walked back into the bathroom I realized I had to. say something. "Umm thank you, I will have to buy some soild screen to slide in at night" This continued for weeks, little massages here and there. Always accompanied by the gentle smell of a mildly earthy cologne. "You forgot to turn the kitchen light off again" "The water company is screwing you over, call someone to check the meter" My dog, a mess of separation anxiety stopped caring when I left the house, the cat stopped bothering my fish, and no matter what everything always flourished in the garden. I know the house is haunted but I never thought to ask by whom because they were always helpful. One night before bed I decided to find out. "I'm very greatful for all your help, I feel you know so much about me but I know nothing about you, if you want to please tell me?" The next morning I again woke to the smell of cologne, there was a very long message on my bedroom fall to ceiling mirror. "I was the person who built this house, I worked had all my life to provide a good life for my wife and I, after she died I couldn't continue to live without her so I followed her soon after. Every person who has moved in since wanted to change the place I worked so hard to build so they had to go. But you didn't, you loved the worn garden beds and scraped hardwood, you are deserving. I won't be here for much longer now I know you aren't going to leave, please remeber to turn all the light off when you go to bed"
[WP] Your neighbors were concerned when you moved into the local haunted house. You were worried at first too, but the messages written in blood on the mirrors are... oddly supportive.	I pulled down on my tie, my nerves getting the better of my sensibilities. I was ready for this interview. I had prepared for months. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time. I hopped back in fright when I saw a severed leg lying on the counter. The mirror had a fresh coat of blood, still oozing with a new message. BREAK A LEG I smirked and looked up at the house. "Thanks," I said to the ceiling sheepishly, my face going flush. I stood up a little straighter, attempting to imbue myself with the confidence the house had in me and made my way downstairs. I breathed in and began practicing. "Hi, I'm Greg. I'm excited to be here for the position of... umm... the position of Associate Software Developer," I whispered. I shook my head. It was for Associate Software Engineer. I tried again, "Hi, I'm Greg. I'm excited--" I was again stunned to see a severed hand grasping the end cap of the handrail. It was giving me a thumbs up. I smiled again. I made my way to the kitchen and looked up to all of my dishes hanging by spiderwebs on the ceiling. The spiders picked them up to help them dry overnight. There had to have been hundreds of spiders to made so many webs, but I never saw one. I was arachnophobic, and I felt like the house somehow knew. I pulled a bowl from the webs and went to a cupboard to grab a box of cereal. As I began to eat the cereal, I pulled out my phone to look up last-minute tips for the interview. I scrolled for a few seconds, chewing slowly on my food when something thudded in front of me. It was a copy of Charolette's Web. I shook my head. "Did you write something in the webs?" I asked. The house's pipes made noise in response. I focused on the webs for a minute before I was able to tell where there were discernable words next to a human body mummified by spider webs. LEAVE NOW it said in jagged letters. I squinted, surprised by how aggressive it was written. Then I realized there were a few more words below that first two. OR YOU MIGHT GET STUCK IN TRAFFIC "Good call," I said, shoveling the rest of my cereal and grabbing my suit jacket. I stepped outside and saw there was a car blocking me in my driveway. "What!?" I said, "You've got to be kidding me!" I looked around frantically trying to find the owner of the offending vehicle. I stared at my car, trying to get a feel for the distance. If I drove careful enough, I might have been able to get out without too many scratches, but I would end up late to the interview. I kicked the other car's bumper and the alarm began blaring. I sighed and opened the door to my car. The trees began rustling from in front of the house. The swayed toward me as if communicating. "I'm blocked in by this guy, I'm gonna be late. But I'll be fine," I said, trying to convince myself as much as the house. The house groaned a bit as if the roof was settling. I shrugged at it and tilted my head to the side placatingly. There wasn't much that could be done. The driveway began to shake slightly, then accelerating to a miniature earthquake. I grabbed onto my car door tightly as I heard a crack forming in the driveway. It began stretching out, grinding against the car behind me until it was swallowed entirely by a hole that seemed to be the exact size of the car. "Did you just..." I asked. The driveway closed itself again, crushing the car. The alarm was muffled then drowned out entirely by the driveway eating it. I stared with my mouth agape. I looked back to the house, then back to the spot, then the house once more. "Th-- thanks!" I said excitedly, jumping into my car. As soon as I got it started, a paper slapped against my windshield with words written in cut out magazines: GOOD LUCK! SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME I laughed as the paper flew off and I made my way to my interview. _________________________________________ For more nice houses, come check out /r/Nazer_The_Lazer!	Nothing could stop John from moving into Moseley Manor. Not even God. For this reason, when his neighbors warned him about the terrors that resided within--namely the bleeding wallpaper and "faceless woman" (whatever that meant)--he told them to fuck right off, please and thank you. He promised his wife, Maggie, that he would buy her a house by the sea, no matter how much it cost. If only he could've made good on this promise before Maggie passed last summer. Regardless, he decided fulfilling his promise late was better than letting his words follow her into the ground. Given that he was surprisingly superstitious for a man of his generation, he believed that Maggie would accompany him to Moseley Manor in spirit if not in flesh. He was right. \--- John moved in the day after his check cleared the bank. His neighbors watched him from their windows as he directed the movers, faces paler than ivory. He relished in their concern. Their disdain for his decision to ignore their warnings was palpable in the air. It clogged his throat, and reminded him of his time spent in the humid jungles of Vietnam. He flipped them off every time he passed through the front door. \--- When John heard Maggie's voice drifting from the bathroom later than night, he shot up in bed so quickly his spine cracked. Although the voice had been just above a whisper, it was unmistakably hers. So he lowered himself to the floor, slid into his slippers, and trundled toward the bathroom door, doing his best to ignore his palpitating heart. Maggie's voice sounded again the moment he placed his hand on the doorknob. This time, she was humming. John paused, relishing the sound. Maggie had been a professional jazz singer in her twenties. Memories of her twirling around on stage flooded his mind. Tears filled his eyes. He opened the door. Written on the mirror in blood was the following message: It took me many months to drive out the last couple that lived here. Welcome home, John. I've missed you. -Maggie Read more at r/DailyHorrorStories
[WP] You unhappily work in the local Voodoo Doll factory. Strict PPE protocol is required. During a tour of the facility by the local elders you notice they're not wearing protective gear, just enough of their dna has drifted into the dolls at a crucial stage. You say nothing, and wait for chaos.	You almost said something. Almost. But that smug elder, the one with the horrible hog face had been an utter ass to you when you welcomed them. You remembered how they all laughed as he made it difficult for you. So instead, you smiled and nodded at them as they left. Pompous faces pleased and noses pointed into the air as they pranced out. You carried on with the rest of your work day, cleaned and clocked out, waved at the night staff who kept demons at bay and robbers from getting in. How long would it take for them to start being affected? Days? Weeks? Months? The anticipation filled you with sadistic satisfaction. There was no way to estimate but the idea was enthralling. Look how the fates had handed a sort of sweet revenge to the malevolent overseers that overworked each of you. That day, for the first time since you started the job, you left with a grin. You witnessed the first one two weeks later; and you’d honestly forgotten about the whole thing. It was with the hog faced one, this time it was the annual harvest fest – he was on stage mid-speech when he’d been flung down into a pile of horse shit, right arm twisted in an unnatural way and his face pink in pain. You covered your face with glee as those surrounding you cried out. Who would be next? You wondered, as the festival descended into madness.	They were laughing and chatting, such fools. What are elderly even doing here? Do they even believe in Voodoo dolls? Or maybe they thought it was just a normal doll shop to bring home to their kids to try to buy their love again. This is not the first time this happened, but it was always fixable, if the doll was handled early on and stored in a fridge forever, people never felt a thing. But this elderly couple made me mad, they always told me that I was nothing for working in this factory, and that I should get sent back to my home country because I am a waste of money and breath. So tonight I decided to go rogue. I am not evil, I am an average good guy, I wake up early, brush my teeth, go to the shop, work my ass off and then go to a beer with some friends till late night and repeat. They got on my nerves and I was bored from this routine. An unlucky intersection of circumstances one must say. They decided they did not like anything, like usual, and went off laughing. Few hours later, around 11 pm, was crunch time. These weird sexual perverts who want new experiences in their sex life crashed the store like crazy, they wanted to feel pain without actual pressure on their body, I tell you some weird shit. A 6'10 guy, really overweight, comes to me looking for a doll where I could induce his girlfriend's DNA in it, sure I said, and we all know which doll I grabbed. I went to the back and made myself busy for 10 minutes, came back took a pinch of her blood then headed back in and threw it in the garbage. I told him that it needed around 2 days for it to function properly, but you needed to try it as soon as possible to maximize its effectiveness. You know just throw in some words and they pretend understanding and they agree. He rushed of with his weird girlfriend into the night. Now, all this would be useless if I could not see the act in action. I felt guilt I admit, but this time I had no idea why it felt so pleasurable. So I decided to take off without leaving notice and follow them into their home. I was not at all aware that I was committing more and more crimes and that I was a full-time stalker by now. I did not care. I followed them, luckily they had a huge window I could watch stealthily everything from. So I sat there, waiting for the big finale. This damn guy would not do it, he was too shy! Too shy to just do what I had planned all day for, and his girlfriend was just too good, she understood him! She agreed to just let all this go and just put it in a fridge and forget the whole story. Noway this was going to happen, I was already to deep in. I needed the finale, and right now. I got up, unconsciously, knocked heavily on their door. The girl opens confused, I push her away and run towards the kitchen and open the refrigerator, grab the doll and slit it right in half, I was crazy. I heard screams, too many. The girl knelt to the floor thinking she was going to die, too in shock to realize it was not her dying. But I heard another scream, the elders were their neighbors below. I can't lie, the scream was such a satisfaction, I literally ate the head of the doll, swallowed and everything. The guy rushes towards his room, but I could not just let him grab a weapon, so I grab the nearest knife and rush towards him and slit his throat too. I call it self defense. The girl still on the floor pleaded for her life. I felt her, it was just a big misunderstanding gone wrong. She does not deserve it. I could not leave a hanging witness, so I had to kill her too. I ran away for too long, but I am a normal guy, and my conscious ate me up, this is why I went to the police station the next day. This is why, my honor, I plead not guilty, in reason of momentary insanity.
[WP] A park ranger is introduced to the dryads who will help oversee a new nature preserve.	"This will be your partner until you get your feet under you. Franklin, meet Epigaea." I leaned forward to shake the hand of the small woman my boss Charlie had introduced me to. She smiled shyly behind her green hair. "Please, call me Eps, only Charlie and my mother use my full name." She whispered. "Nice to meet ya Eps. You can call me Frank." Her skin was nut brown and rough. She might have looked small, but she was clearly an experienced ranger. "Epigaea's family are the ones who set up this nature preserve." Charlie told me as he began checking and sorting the boxes of equipment. "They've been fighting the locals for decades about it, but with the Old Grove initiative they've finally been able to reclassify these lands." Charlie tossed me and Eps the walkie talkies he finally found then returned to rummaging. "Need any help with those?" I asked while clipping the walkie to my belt. "No, I got this. Epigaea is going to introduce you to the rest of the family." He said waving us away. "Go on now, I'll sort this stuff and start making kits." Eps led me out of the new park office. She held the walkie rather than attaching it to her clothes. Once she was sure I was following, she began a brisk pace straight into the woods. The trek was hard, but this was why I had gotten into this work. The forest smelled clean, the sun barely made it through the thick canopy, and the sounds of birds and animals echoed through their branches. I had a little trouble keeping up with Eps, but I never quite lost sight of her. We eventually found ourselves deep in the woods. It was becoming more difficult to get through the brush, and I began to wonder where the hell Eps was taking me. She finally stopped when she reached a large clearing. It was a good thirty feet across, and the only place I had seen any kind of opening in the canopy. In the center was, of all things, an olive tree. We definitely were not in an area for olive trees. As far north as we were, the cold rainy winters alone should have killed it. But there it was, standing tall and it had definitely been here a long while. I eyed the ground we were on, but didn't see any signs that Eps' family had disturbed the ground. There was no irrigation for the summer or sloping to prevent over moisturizing during the winter. No signs of soil variation from the rest of the woods. I was about to ask Eps what was up when she approached the tree. "Grandma, the new guardian is here!" She chirped excitedly at the tree. "Charlie says he has a good feel about this one!" I was about to ask what was going on when an older woman stepped out of the tree. She hadn't been in the branches and stepped out, no. She had come out of the trunk of the tree. I was about to ask how the hell she did that when she stalked up to me and grabbed my jaw. The woman had a vice like grip. I tried to pull away, bit she just held on and dragged my face down to hers. I was nearly bent in half as she was maybe four foot and I was well over six. Her skin was dark brown, her hair and eyes were green, and she didn't look old enough to be anyone's grandmother. As I tried to protest, she began speaking. "Good teeth, seems strong enough to help with clearing the dead, and he seems to see me clearly." The woman dictated. "You have witch blood boy?" "What? No, what do you mean witch blood?" I managed to get out before she turned, ignoring me. "Seems a bit slow. Have you shown him to your mother yet?" "No, after the last one I decided to bring him to you first." Eps replied. "That damn girl." I was having trouble placing the woman's accent. It was vaguely familiar, but I couldn't quite figure it out. I was about to demand answers when she grabbed the front of my shirt, dragged me down to her level again, and kissed me. It tasted like the forest smelled. Old wood, moss, and morning dew. When she let me go, I gasped and fell onto my ass. Before I could complain, she began walking back to the tree. "That'll keep your mother and sisters in line for now. You'll need to find a more permanent solution." She called to Eps then stepped back into the tree. "What the hell!?" I yelled at Eps. "What was that all about?!" "That was Grandma Chrysopeleia. Technically, she's my Great Grandma. She came to America after her husband died, and brought my mother with her." Eps replied and helped me up. She was as strong as her grandmother. "Mom has been... problematic for awhile now. I brought you here to make sure you had a fighting chance." "What do you mean by a fighting chance?! What the hell did I get myself into? What was that shit about witch's blood?!" "You were able to see her clearly. It's why Charlie hired you. He goes to those job fairs specifically to find people who can see us when we're trying to hide." "What. The. Hell. Is. Going. On." I said slowly and clearly. "What. Do. You. Mean?" I was beginning to get angry, and Eps was looking embarrassed. "Look, so there's a lot of things in the world. Things that are sentient but aren't human. My family is one of them." I stared at her, and she shifted from foot to foot. "You're all insane. I got a job with crazy people." I said as I stood up. That had pissed Eps off. I know because she had strode forward as I was trying to get up, grabbed me by my hair, and began dragging me through the forest. I yelled and protested, tried to fight free, but she had an iron grip on me. She was also complaining loudly. "I am not crazy. I am tired of being the one sent out to deal with this." She growled, a dangerous tone in her voice. "There's fucking twenty of us girls, and who always get the shit jobs? Me. Go meet the new ranger Epigaea. Show him around Epigaea. Oh we can't have your sisters do it, they don't have nearly your control Epigaea. Fucking Maeneds." She was dragging us deeper into the forest. I finally tried yelling for help, but doubted it would come. I swore I saw... things, following us. They were laughing at us, stalking us. When one tried to leap at us, Eps stopped and grabbed it faster than I had ever seen anyone move. She grabbed the thing by the scruff of its neck and began beating it against the ground, yelling with every hit. "I! AM! TRYING! TO! DO! A! JOB!" She yelled, the creature yelping in pain. "YOU! TOUCH! HIM! YOU! DIE!" When she was done, she tossed the creature back into the woods. It scrambled to its feet and bolted. "Anyone else?!" She yelled into the forest. Things crept, slithered, hopped, and flew away as quickly as they could. "You, get up." She growled at me. I slowly rose to my feet, hands up in surrender. "Follow me." I swear we walked further than what was covered by the reserve. It was evening before we reached where we were going. "Frank, my family. Guys, this is Frank. Charlie hired him as a Park Ranger. He's met Grandma mom, so don't try it." She then huffed over to a willow tree. The tree moved, extending a branch down for her to sit on. I stared, mouth open, as it happened. Then her family stepped out of the trees. [My Musings](https://www.reddit.com/r/HorrorHMDMusings?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)	The beautiful women in the trees were not figures of my imagination. They were in fact real... and they were very mad at me. The tallest one, with her brown hair and clear face, lowered her brow and started shouting, "Are you listening to me!?" "Yes. Yes I am, but can you start over?" "Start over?! You little..." one dryad in the distance started, "I should..." "Calm down Amelia, let me explain to the incompetent park ranger." the leader interrupted, "I'm sorry. I lost my temper there. Let's start over. Hello, my name is Leila, and we are very upset with the state of this forest. We think you should make it into a preserve" "Go on." I said while scratching my brown hair. "There seems to be some loggers nearby, am I correct?" "Yes, there are." I answered while scratching my thin neck. Something felt off with me. "We would like them gone. We've already lost one of our sisters to them-" A shrewd wail sounded from Amelia in the distance, "Poor Allison! You were so YOUNG!" Leila began again, "...and we aren't afraid of endangering your visitors." "Okay- wait what did you just say?." I scratched my chest. My body started to get itchier. The itchy sensations were now sizzling and then they started to burn, "I'm! I'm on fire!" "Amelia!" Leila screamed, "Stop!" "No!" Amelia shouted, "They killed Allison!" My skin started to turn a sunburn red and bloodied cuts from all of my scratching were starting pour blood. The lungs in my chest were ballooning while my heart started to suffocate. "AMELIA! STOP!" Leila shouted. "NO!" Leila snapped her fingers and one of Amelia's branches caught fire. She screamed in agony. "STOP IT! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" The cuts on me stopped bleeding and my lungs returned to normal. I collapsed on the floor. The fire was quickly put out with another snap from Leila while Amelia cried about her burnt branch. "I hope you'll hear us out." Leila said, "We really don't want to kill everyone."
[WP] Nine out of ten people are psychics. You are the opposite of a psychic. Nobody can read your mind, and you can't read anyone else's.	There it was. That knock of the day. The solid thud, thud, thud on the oak door of my office was music to my ears, or at least would be if last night's scotch wasn't thud, thud, thudding my temples. "Mr. Delore? Mr. Delore it's quite urgent that I speak with you!" It's always urgent that they speak to me, no matter what problem, no matter how inane. At least the pay was usually good. "Just a minute!" I barked, not meaning to be rude yet also not having anything in the realm of grace with a non-psychic hangover still river dancing in my brain. Crossing the room with sluggish steps I pulled open the door widely, and with an ungodly amount pouring into the room from my mistake I reached my hand out and grasped wildly in front of me. Feeling my hand brush a suit jacket was not expected but comforting as I quickly grabbed and pulled through the threshold, closing the door swiftly afterwards. "Agghh! Mr. Delore?! Are you quite alright?" English tinge to his voice, light but noticeable, Londoner for sure. Common in New New York, especially after the psychic craze back in 2007, non-psych extremists started eliminating whole groups of psychics across the world. Parliament in London was slaughtered in a day, almost all of wall street here in hours. "Mr. Delore? I need to speak to you, it's about a..." 'Case? Yes I know, how can I help?' "You know? But your card said..." Pulling a business card out of his jacket pocket he exposed his dress shirt a bit more. Sweat stains, not ironed, plus it doesn't go with the tie. He has been focused lately, not even home if the lack of cologne provides that fact. Too much of an expensive suit for Psych Sec, the cities finest in psychic crime, so he has to be stocks. A hedge fund boy, easy to figure out even without.. "...that you were a "special" investigator" Handing the card over there my name was in bold ink "James Delore P.S.I." Chuckling slightly I flip the card where in fine print in the bottom read "Psych-Silent Investigator" along with my office's address as a psychic imprint. A nice gift from a rather grateful client. "I am, simply a figure of speech. What ails you? A cheating lover? Partner made off with your interest money? Check on an old flame perhaps?" Not that he looked much like the social type, since the psychic mutation quickly dominated the majority of the worlds population many become real shit talkers. I mean they think "what's the point" when they just constantly read the other person's mind and respond in their head. Many social graces of topics and concepts that were once taboo have long been gotten over as such things simply popped into somebodies head at the wrong place and/or time. "Actually it's much more complicated than that. You see a few days ago someone attempted to murder me" How bout that, it's been a long while since I've dealt with a violent case. "And? Shouldn't you or someone else have picked up on their mind and you know? Read it? Seems like a Psych Sec problem." "That's just it Mr. Delore, it's not that I didn't read his mind. It's that I couldn't. Just like yours." Oh shit, despite 10% of the worlds population being non-psychs only .6% of that are even close to something like me. Psych-Silents are incredibly rare in the world but insanely coveted but corporations, governments and even movie studios. Such rarity creates a form of stardom, you become famous or covert when your mind is an uncrackable safe. Though many distrust such people for not having a literal "open mind" if they can't know what you're thinking then you're dangerous. Hence the government snatching many up in contracts as agents, extortion I say. A murdering one is bad, especially if i end up in his crosshairs. Hiding the building anxiety of the now revealed revelation I ask "Do you know why someone would try and kill you Mr....?" "Renegew and yes I know exactly why." "That is?" "Mr. Delore if I divulged such a secret I would that have to have you killed" I looked him up and down again, he was standing straighter and had a sharp look in his eye, he was good, used to this game. I could feel him at the edges of my mind, looking for a way in and not finding a single crack to chip. Someone trying to read me always felt like going up in a plane, like I needed to pop my ears but never could. Everyone who read said it sounded like tv static but turned up to 11. He wasn't even flinching though. Definitely not stocks then, business man no, Business owner. CEO of a big block that someone wants to see burn, foriegn or even our government, hell maybe even a rival company with money to burn. A twirling web of intrigue. "If you don't want to catch your attempted killer that's fine with m..." "There is one name I will give you, Lacey Peterson" "The CEO of PharmaPsych? Why her?" "She's the one who ordered the hit. Before you ask either, no it wasn't a court sanctioned read but I saw the memory clear as day Mr. Delore and I need you to find out physically." Or maybe not web of intrigue. He was right, memory reads could be faked and were laughed at in court unless sanctioned by a judge for a federal Delver to be brought in. This is going to require some wet wor... "I'll also be hiring you for 10 times your hourly so I know expenses will not be a problem. There is much appreciation in my heart Mr. Delore, please do work quickly. I don't want to die so soon." The man left in few strides before I even could accept but at $10,000 an hour how could I deny. But what the fuck did I just get myself into?	I was flipping through my coach's playbook. I had spent all evenings this season in my college gym honing my badminton techniques. All I needed to do now was revise the strategies from the playbook - I wanted to have an extra edge in this final. The cash prize was 10,000 - I could use it to pay my college fees and rent for the next semester. Looking back, it had become relatively easy to earn money through mastering and playing inter-college badminton tournaments after I discovered that I was an anti-psychic. Sports had been restricted to anti-psychics since the time people had evolved to read each others minds. As the starting bell rung, I checked my racket for the final time and jogged towards the court. I wiped the grip of my racket against my shirt, my hands were sweating. Second match had been tiring as I scampered around the court while Hingx deftfully smashed, dropped, sliced the shuttlecock. Now I needed to win this third decider match. Thankfully I had won the first match, but I was surprised at the footwork of Hingx in the second match. No doubt that she was skilled, but there was something more to her play than just skill. It was almost as if she could anticipate all my moves. I was now skateboarding home. Today I didn't bother to slide the skateboard against the park bench on the way. 21-11 loss was impossible, I hadn't lost that badly since I started coaching from the college instructor. After reaching home I went straight to my computer to read about possible mind reading of anti-psychics. More than six hours had passed when I started with a jolt because of my phone vibrating on the table. It was a text message - "I'm moving across states next week. If you're curious about the match today, meet me outside the town hall at midnight - Hingx." EDIT: Feedback/critique welcome.
[WP] Nine out of ten people are psychics. You are the opposite of a psychic. Nobody can read your mind, and you can't read anyone else's.	There it was. That knock of the day. The solid thud, thud, thud on the oak door of my office was music to my ears, or at least would be if last night's scotch wasn't thud, thud, thudding my temples. "Mr. Delore? Mr. Delore it's quite urgent that I speak with you!" It's always urgent that they speak to me, no matter what problem, no matter how inane. At least the pay was usually good. "Just a minute!" I barked, not meaning to be rude yet also not having anything in the realm of grace with a non-psychic hangover still river dancing in my brain. Crossing the room with sluggish steps I pulled open the door widely, and with an ungodly amount pouring into the room from my mistake I reached my hand out and grasped wildly in front of me. Feeling my hand brush a suit jacket was not expected but comforting as I quickly grabbed and pulled through the threshold, closing the door swiftly afterwards. "Agghh! Mr. Delore?! Are you quite alright?" English tinge to his voice, light but noticeable, Londoner for sure. Common in New New York, especially after the psychic craze back in 2007, non-psych extremists started eliminating whole groups of psychics across the world. Parliament in London was slaughtered in a day, almost all of wall street here in hours. "Mr. Delore? I need to speak to you, it's about a..." 'Case? Yes I know, how can I help?' "You know? But your card said..." Pulling a business card out of his jacket pocket he exposed his dress shirt a bit more. Sweat stains, not ironed, plus it doesn't go with the tie. He has been focused lately, not even home if the lack of cologne provides that fact. Too much of an expensive suit for Psych Sec, the cities finest in psychic crime, so he has to be stocks. A hedge fund boy, easy to figure out even without.. "...that you were a "special" investigator" Handing the card over there my name was in bold ink "James Delore P.S.I." Chuckling slightly I flip the card where in fine print in the bottom read "Psych-Silent Investigator" along with my office's address as a psychic imprint. A nice gift from a rather grateful client. "I am, simply a figure of speech. What ails you? A cheating lover? Partner made off with your interest money? Check on an old flame perhaps?" Not that he looked much like the social type, since the psychic mutation quickly dominated the majority of the worlds population many become real shit talkers. I mean they think "what's the point" when they just constantly read the other person's mind and respond in their head. Many social graces of topics and concepts that were once taboo have long been gotten over as such things simply popped into somebodies head at the wrong place and/or time. "Actually it's much more complicated than that. You see a few days ago someone attempted to murder me" How bout that, it's been a long while since I've dealt with a violent case. "And? Shouldn't you or someone else have picked up on their mind and you know? Read it? Seems like a Psych Sec problem." "That's just it Mr. Delore, it's not that I didn't read his mind. It's that I couldn't. Just like yours." Oh shit, despite 10% of the worlds population being non-psychs only .6% of that are even close to something like me. Psych-Silents are incredibly rare in the world but insanely coveted but corporations, governments and even movie studios. Such rarity creates a form of stardom, you become famous or covert when your mind is an uncrackable safe. Though many distrust such people for not having a literal "open mind" if they can't know what you're thinking then you're dangerous. Hence the government snatching many up in contracts as agents, extortion I say. A murdering one is bad, especially if i end up in his crosshairs. Hiding the building anxiety of the now revealed revelation I ask "Do you know why someone would try and kill you Mr....?" "Renegew and yes I know exactly why." "That is?" "Mr. Delore if I divulged such a secret I would that have to have you killed" I looked him up and down again, he was standing straighter and had a sharp look in his eye, he was good, used to this game. I could feel him at the edges of my mind, looking for a way in and not finding a single crack to chip. Someone trying to read me always felt like going up in a plane, like I needed to pop my ears but never could. Everyone who read said it sounded like tv static but turned up to 11. He wasn't even flinching though. Definitely not stocks then, business man no, Business owner. CEO of a big block that someone wants to see burn, foriegn or even our government, hell maybe even a rival company with money to burn. A twirling web of intrigue. "If you don't want to catch your attempted killer that's fine with m..." "There is one name I will give you, Lacey Peterson" "The CEO of PharmaPsych? Why her?" "She's the one who ordered the hit. Before you ask either, no it wasn't a court sanctioned read but I saw the memory clear as day Mr. Delore and I need you to find out physically." Or maybe not web of intrigue. He was right, memory reads could be faked and were laughed at in court unless sanctioned by a judge for a federal Delver to be brought in. This is going to require some wet wor... "I'll also be hiring you for 10 times your hourly so I know expenses will not be a problem. There is much appreciation in my heart Mr. Delore, please do work quickly. I don't want to die so soon." The man left in few strides before I even could accept but at $10,000 an hour how could I deny. But what the fuck did I just get myself into?	And these "nine to ten people" are hunting those whom their mind couldn't be read, because of these psychics people have insecurities over something they don't know and they can't control. Several years passed with a lot of bloods in their hands already, it turns that these psychic people build their own empire. An empire above all nations. And the 'one of ten people' that left finally established an underground network for finding each other. Those whom left mostly live with fear, living like rats avoiding any contact with the 'upper world' (through well spread tales and legends), and there is this ordinary girl whom have the most outstanding curiosity among any other boys and girls. Based upon her curiosity, she even started questioning her existence at that very young age, and the extraordinary journey finally met its destiny to start.
[WP] Being a villain doesn't always pay, especially when the hero keeps foiling your plan. To fund your villainy, you work in retail customer service. One day, the hero walks in. He recognizes you, you recognize him.	"You better-r-r watch yourself. I ha-a-a-ave the death sentence on twelve sys-sys-sys-sys-sys-sys-" Let me tell you something, confidentially. No one has ever designed a torture system more heinous than children's toys. I even tried for a while, but eventually I came to the conclusion that it simply could not be done. The tremoring digitized voices that somehow sound just enough like their reference material that you know what it should be like, but filtered through the cheapest speakers available for mass production... the odd squeaks or stalls or bits of static every time it's switched on... the way they inevitably break and the recording becomes divergent, fractal, asymptotic... the way they devour batteries like a Lovecraftian horror from the depths. I kept one of those for a pet for a while, and it was not nearly so high-maintenance. The specialty diet was exorbitantly expensive, though - why, I had to conquer an entire nation just to pay the feeding bills. That, of course, brings us to why I'm here, at ToySaurus. Do you remember, in school, when they told you crime doesn't pay? Well, they were wrong about that - crime pays quite well - it's just that crime is also exceptionally costly to maintain. It's not a problem of resource acquisition, but rather of managing inflow and outflow: An issue of economics. Thus, in order that I maintain my reign as an evil overlord, it became necessary that I take on a second job. There are many for which I am infinitely more qualified, but I found that in such things as software programming or aerospace engineering or city planning, I was merely expanding my empire, leading to more incurred costs over the long term. I needed a job that I would have no desire to turn into a career, and nothing is more dead-end than customer service. I do enjoy the work - do you know, some of these customers I've met have been utterly delightful? The self-righteousness, the accusations, the sanctimony! Why, I have pages of notes for future monologues! Ah, but I digress. I was debating whether or not to mark the offending merchandise as defective and take it home with me to the dungeons when he walked in. The golden boy himself - only gold wasn't good enough for him, hence the name Titanium Titan. My eyes widened that he would appear in a ToySaurus in Kansas City, but here he was. Surprise, surprise, his eyes were as wide as mine, and while I had the experience of retail, he didn't - he maintained his gobsmacked expression longer than I. "Can I help you?" Oh, those dulcet tones of mine - oh, the hidden aggrandizement, that the Titanium Titan should need anything of me. His lips worked silent syllables, for a moment and a half longer than they should, before coming out with a flabbergasted: "ReVolt?" I smiled, politely. I had learned that people find that infuriating. "Yes. Can I help you?" Oh, say it, you pompous, malleable moron! Tell me you need me. His hesitance is ambrosia. "I, uh..." He swallowed his pride, a visible lump in his throat. After that, a short exhalation as he stared into my superiority, and humbled himself before me. "I'm here for a job interview."	"How did he defeat me!!"I shouted "I had the best plan. I was going to shove him into a pit of acid and dissolve him but noooooo I had to make him play chess and he won!!" I looked at my destroyed laser "if I hadn't been focused on the theatrics I could have blown up the space station" sadly this laser had cost me 10 million dollars "(sigh) back to the store I go" When I arrived at the store I went to the back and put on my bear costume, my job was to help costumers when one day Mr good comes in the hero I immediately ran to the back not wanting to give him the ego boost but he followed me and asked "Jerry is that you?" "Yes it is" he immediately broke out laughing at me "You won't be laughing when I steal the crown!!" He laughed harder and asked "how did a big villain like you end up having to work here" "Listen my background has not really helped me this is the best i can do" "Okay then I will take a teddy bear" when I get the teddy bear I see his daughter and smile. After he left I said to myself "now I know my next plan"
[WP] Being a villain doesn't always pay, especially when the hero keeps foiling your plan. To fund your villainy, you work in retail customer service. One day, the hero walks in. He recognizes you, you recognize him.	"I have seen you build a laser that harnessed the power of the sun, aren't you a little more qualified then this? I'm not judging or anything, just seems you could do a lot better than a toystore." Mr. Zoomer seemed to find this encounter a lot more awkward than his supervillain counterpart, which was hardly surprising. It wasn't exactly an ego boost to see the man who had kicked your ass on numerous occasions dressed in a scruffy panda suit seeing toys. "I'm... in a bit of a rough patch at the moment, I have six degrees, SIX, but I can't land a job-" "Because of the villainy?" Zoomer interrupted. "No, I wish it was because of the villainy, A lot of people are happy to overlook that part of my resume, something about equal rights and discrimination? No, It's the fact I threaten to kill the interviewers when they grill me on my qualifications. I only landed this job because the owner was just glad to have someone who was honest and also passed the working around children check. Look.... It's a low point ok? I'm not really proud of this, I think mum and dad would have wanted a lot more from me than this. Do you mind keeping this between us? I will offer you a fidget spinner? We have been trying to get rid of them for months, the owner ordered heaps when they were in and now we can't get rid of them, apparently they aren't cool anymore, I can relate to that a bit." "Oh, I won't tell anyone, You know, Maybe I could help you update your resume or find a position. I know you try to kill me and all that, but I don't like seeing you so unhappy Doomclock, It just bums me out. You are so much better than this. Here, let me give you my number, Call me and I'll help you prepare for a job interview." Zoomer pulled out a pen from his pocket, ready to write his number down on one of his hero business cards, only getting stopped by the villain. "I know where you live, do you really think I don't know your number?" The villain said with an awkward chuckle. "But thanks, I'll take you up on that. We can't do it Wednesday though, I was planning to grow some sort of flying dinosaur, you know that one that starts with a P?" "A Pherotydal?" "Yeah that's the one, I was going to grow one of those and ram it through your window, so Wednesday is a no go. Maybe we could do Friday? After I escape from prison again." "...." Zoomer let out a sigh, wondering how he was going to explain this to his insurance. Did they even cover acts of dinosaur? "Yeah... whatever Friday works." "So anyway what are you here for? Looking for a present for a relative or something? It's your nieces five birthday soon right? I hear the new Queen fire hero figure is selling pretty well, maybe you can get her that." "Why do you know my nieces.... nevermind.... No, actually I was wondering..." Zoomer glanced left and right, making sure no one was listening before he leaned closer to the villain. "Do you have any of my new figures? The limited-edition one you can't get online?" "You want a figure of yourself? You know playing with yourself is rather unhealthy" The villain chuckled before leaving his desk, only to return with the figure in its full limited edition glory. "I had one at the back that I was holding for.... someone else." The villain wasn't exactly going to admit he had been collecting figures as well. "Oh, I was I could tell the other villains about this, but since you are helping me out with my troubles, I guess I can keep this a secret as well." "Thanks... I appreciate it." Zoomer gave him a smile, purchasing the toy before giving his foe a wave as he left. {If you enjoyed my story, Feel free to check out r/pmmeyabootysstories where ill be posting some more of my stuff for people to read}	"Hello Dan," I said to him. He was evidently the same guy who had nearly killed me yesterday, but that didn't matter much since I could see he didn't have any weapons on him. And for once he was thankfully out of his ridiculous outfit. He actually looked pretty ... nevermind I had to focus on acting normal. If he suspected me even a tiny bit I was sure he would use his lazar beams to fry me up. "Ahhh... no way, why are you here?" he asked me. There was thankfully no one else in the store. He was carrying a bunch of grocery bags in his cart and I shook my head and motioned for him to hand me the stuff so I could scan it. "In case you really need to know, I usually work in customer service, but since everyone is out sick today I'm on the cash register." I realize that it was the wrong thing to say because Dan's eyes narrowed. "No, I didn't poison them." Dan finally sighs. "If you're not causing any trouble I guess I can't refuse." I can see that he's blushing though. And as I look into his cart I realize why. And I start to blush too. These were the novels I liked to read too. My eyes glanced over the newest book in a series I had been waiting to come out for at least a year. "Wait so--" he said. "No, I don't," I said. I looked back at him. I take the book and slam it on the cart without even scanning it, I didn't care anymore. "What?" Dad asked me. "Wait, you read his books too?" "Maybe," I said as I scanned his other items. There were so many books in here, a lot of which I recognized myself. I made an audible growl as I stumbled upon a book I did not have a good time reading. On one hand, I wanted him to suffer as he read it, it was addicting to read, but the ending was so terrible I had gone into depression for like a week. It was basically what would happen if I tried to write a book with the specific intention to torture people. As I scan the other books and I can't help but wonder if I should tell him to not buy it. It would save him weeks of his life, but then again I was his enemy. Why was it my job to help him avoid that landmine? He puts several more things in front of me and I realize that it's a whole bunch of corny romance novels. Ones that I read. They were squished between two better well-known titles and I know he was blushing as he handed them towards me. "I see you like reading this stuff," I said. I laughed and watched as his face flushed. But then he started laughing at me. "You left a copy in your last base," he said, "so don't pretend like you don't read this stuff too."Now it was my face that turned red and I quickly scanned the other books in silence. Next was a whole bunch of canned food, probably for the food shelter in town. I still remembered when my own parents took me there. I didn't realize that he donated... "Something wrong?" he asked me. "I'm sorry if I was rude, I'll get out of here as soon as you finish scanning." "No ... it's just," I said holding the canned food. "Oh," he said, "I didn't know, I could buy you some if you like." "No," I said. I quickly scanned the can and did the rest of his items. "I'm doing better now, that's why I have this job." "So does this mean--" Dan said before I cut him off. "No, I'm not giving be your villain, but I can agree to a truce for now," I said. "Then maybe you could tell me later about what your reading," he said. I sighed. "Why are we both so antisocial?" "But we have each other," he said as he took the last of the bags and put it in his cart. He left out of the store before I could respond, his super-speed was annoying as ever. I sat back and took out the book I had discreetly slipped out of his book. I had left him with that awful read, but I had taken this truly awful one, I don't even know how he could have gotten past the first page with how awfully written it was. The last thing I was him returning while I was still working. I gasped though as I looked at the title: "Is it too late for us to love?" Him and his stupid messages. &#x200B; Join r/NinjaMasterXY for more stories! Edit: Grammer
[WP]"Oh great far-speaking tower, I have performed the rituals as set forth in the sacred manual. Let me speak to the sky spirit so I may learn of it's wisdom!" "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there."	The last thing that Tom Gullist expected on his monitoring shift was to catch a scrap of a transmission coming from the orb hanging in the sky. It had been 12 long years since the Night of Crackling Screams, and the Moon Cities had come to the conclusion that they were on their own. So, when he first noticed the crackling signal hitting his receivers, he'd thought it was some satellite that had just happened to be knocked awry while repeating some broadcast. He was very startled when it repeated long enough for him to get the dishes aimed in the right direction. "...arn of it's wisdom! Oh great far-speaking tower, I have performed the rituals as set forth in the sacred manual.Let me speak to the sky spirit so I may learn of it's wisdom! Oh great far-speaking tower-" By protocol, Tom should have reported the incident in, and seen what the higher-ups wanted to do in response. But instinct is hard to break, and so before he even consciously thought about it, he tapped the transmit button. "Uh, copy that. Moon City Delta responding. Is... is this Earth? We thought everyone was dead down there." The transmission cut out instantly, and Tom started fiddling with the dials to try and work out what had happened. Had he been hallucinating the whole thing? "Hello? Uh, guy at the far-speaking tower? Are you there?" A long, smooth claw reached over Tom's shoulder, and delicately tapped down on the transmit button, while a breathy voice whispered into his ear. "I am here, now. Thank you for the doorway."	"No, no, no, no!" The voice came from behind Dave. It was the new guy, Fred. The younger man was panicked, nutri-paste staining his cheek as he sped towards the console. "What happened!?" Fred asked, panic plain across his face. "Did th- Did it-?" "We received a transmission, Fred." Dave responded, his expression flat. "From Earth. Asking about a Sky Spirit?" An eyebrow cocked at the term. "Fred, what have you been doing, and why shouldn't I report you to the boss? For crying out loud, Fred, you've been on this shift for two weeks! You can't let these remenants or whatever they are think Spirits, or Gods, or magic, stuff like that is real!?" "I know, I know, I know, I should've reported as soon as I got the first message, but they were so convinced, so I sent them an old table-top book as a joke." The younger man gave a soft sigh, shaking his head. "Look, I screwed up, ok?" "Great Sky Spirit?" The voice rang again drawing the attention of both men. "Look, let me just help them here, we'll go to the boss, figure out what to do, ok?" Dave stared at the younger man, before sighing and stepping out of the way. Fred sheepishly walked past, and pressed down on the button to enable the speaker on the old probe. "I hear you, landwalkers. Speak your question." Fred responded, giving a great pastiche of a man at least three times his importance. "We have recieved your gift, Sky Spirit. While we would never claim your wisdom as wrong..." The voice paused. "We read the passage on the two hundredth forty third page, and due to your wonderful wisdom..." "Galroth of the fiery planes is now destroying our camps.."
[WP]"Oh great far-speaking tower, I have performed the rituals as set forth in the sacred manual. Let me speak to the sky spirit so I may learn of it's wisdom!" "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there."	"Why would everyone be dead?" I asked. "...You did follow the manual, right? Exactly how it was all laid out?" the voice from the sky said with holy reverb and a deep pitch that vibrated your bones. I gazed around at the courtyard of the castle grounds beneath the tower, haunted by the carnage that was ensued from the ritual, I shivered at the stench of rotten death and burnt flesh. "Uh yeah." "You summoned 'The Unholy Reckoner'... right?" "Uh-huh..." I bobbed my head, still craning my neck upwards at the sky. "And then the five horned bats came down and observed the land to make sure everyone was dead, right?" "Yup, they just left about 10 minutes ago." "And then the river of flames opened up from the ground and toasted everyone, right?" I nodded. "What was that? Did you say something?" the voice yelled followed by a cracking noise in the background. "Oh, sorry, I nodded for a moment. Yes, the river of flames did open up and it burnt everyone to a crisp." "Well... You failed. Good job. Way to screw everything up. You suck. I hope you know that. You really really suck." "What are you talking about?" I spun around, frantically trying to think of what I did wrong. "Let me ask you something, when you saw that in the manual it said 'everyone must die', how exactly did you process that information?" "I-uh-well-uh all of my 300 followers I brought with me died. Wasn't that what you wanted?" "It's not just your followers, you're supposed to die too, jackass!" My senses numbed, my heart sank, tears bursted in rivers down my eyes. How could I fail my life's work? "How does it feel, jackass, to be a failure?" stifled laughter came from the omniscient voice. My neck hung low as if an anchor was wrapped around in a necklace. "I-I-It's horrible..." "How does it feel to be PRANKED by the galaxy's most popular elaborate prank show, Moon City Delta?" Flood lights burned on and revealed that the castle grounds were inside of a massive dome with a studio audience that covered the rest of the land and clapped so hard the ground shook. A sea of crew members dressed in backstage regalia and equipment contributed to the applause. Cameras were strewn across the steel beams that supported the dome and down from the top of the (now obvious and fake) tower an elevator that was just a floating disc came down with five purple aliens. They had ruby red eyes, crystal blue suits, and they were no larger than a garden gnome. The crowd roared as soon as they made their entrance, they bowed in response. Frozen in shock, the five aliens circled around me and threw a microphone up at my face. My jaw dropped. On the massive set, I saw all of my followers get up and wipe the makeup off their face and wave at me while cracking up. I saw 'The Unholy Reckoner' take off his mask and it turned out he was just a bunch of those purple aliens all stacked up on top of each other. "How does it feel to have been pranked? By Zoller, Quro, Poz, Jav, and me, Vur?" one of the aliens asked me, but my lips trembled too much to form a sentence. The crowd shrieked with glee as he read the names. "How does it feel to know that you thought this was real and you were responsible for the death of 300 of your own kind?" Another alien asked and the five of them chuckled and the rest of the crowd howled with laughter. "I-uh-I-um--" "Looks like we have another struggler here, you saw it live folks! That's been our season the past eight years, we hope you've enjoyed the prank and stay tuned for the next one where we convince a king to actually give up his wealth to his people! It's a good one and a real tear jerker. You won't want to miss it!" &#x200B; \\\*If you're interested in reading more, [here's a prompt](https://www.reddit.com/r/randallcooper/comments/ficr4t/wpthe_sage_has_found_the_chosen_one_a_farmer_boy/) I did that has a similar feel! :)	"What?" Faldwell tilted his head at the electronic device. "Am I speaking to the Sky Spirit?" "Sky spirit? What the hell is going on down there, we haven't heard from Earth in weeks." Faldwell sighed and turned to face his band of fur-wearing, face painted, dirty followers. "Hold on, guys. I think the quest is bugged, he chuckled nervously. "You know how new servers are," he gestured at the air to produce his slate. Everyone else saw it as a smokey glass pane, though he clearly saw text with access to all his menus on it. He navigated to the support menu and requested a mod. Moments later a black hole opened next to him and a young man with a bush of dark brown curls on his head walked out. "Mod Aurelio," he pointed at his nametag. "What's the problem?" he asked as he approached Faldwell. "Hello? Earth? This is Moon City Delta, are you there?" Faldwell gestured at the primitive tech that illustrated their trouble. "We've got hundreds of families up here worried about you all." "Quest is bugged," he added clarification. "Oh. Hold on this needs to be escalated," Aurelio brought up his own slate. "Should I talk to them?" Faldwell asked. Aurelio shook his head as he typed on the glass. Seconds after he stopped typing another black hole opened. A short, plump, pale woman in a black suit walked out. "Hey Melody, we've got a problem. Moon full of Zeros," he pointed at the radio in time to hear them try again. "This is Moon City Delta, do you read us Earth?" Melody glanced at the radio, then at the small crowd gathered around them, then at Faldwell. He was dressed in furs and grime like them, though he also wore an elaborate headdress made from a lion's skull and a mane made of colorful feathers. "Guild leader?" she asked. Faldwell nodded. "The Sky Spirit's blessing is the last thing we needed to earn our guild hall," he said. "Sharp Development apologizes for the inconvenience. Please accept this server...," she gave Faldwell a card-sized piece of glass, then pointed at a fresh portal that opened next to him. "... for bringing this bug to our attention, and as an apology for troubling your gameplay experience." His eyes went wide. "A server!? A WHOLE server just for us?" Melody nodded. "If you need any help setting it up, you'll be able to contact Aurelio directly," she smiled. "Thanks! C'mon guys!" Faldwell immediately rushed through the portal followed by his role-playing cult. "Uh... Earth," the radio spoke again once the guild left. "The great Sky Spirit commands you to speak to us. Where are you?" "Warn them about the cataclysm," Melody said as she looked up into the sky for the moon. The palms of her hands started glowing with bright blue light. "On it," Aurelio replied; his fingers danced on the glass slate. \[Server Notice: Cataclysmic Event! The moon is shattered. Server template is updated from Apocalyptic to Catastrophic. Environmental safety programs have been disabled. Permadeath is enabled. Please relocate to a standard server if you wish to remain safe. Sharp Development takes no responsibility for players that remain on this server.\] "Done," Aurelio said. Melody nodded and pointed her glowing hands at the moon. Streaks of bright blue plasma launched out of her hands at it. \\\* Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day. This is year three, story #116. You can find all my stories collected on my subreddit ([r/hugoverse](https://www.reddit.com/r/hugoverse/)) or my blog. If you're curious about my universe (the Hugoverse) you can visit the Guidebook to see what's what and who's who, or the Timeline to find the stories in order.
[WP]"Oh great far-speaking tower, I have performed the rituals as set forth in the sacred manual. Let me speak to the sky spirit so I may learn of it's wisdom!" "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there."	Howard widened his eyes at the blinking control panel. He assumed this was prank at first. It said the transmission came from Earth. That should've been impossible. The planet had been a smoggy, irradiated mess for over a century. Nobody lived down there anymore. At least, that was what Howard believed until now. The guy on the other side of the transmission clearly proved that wrong. Most citizens thought that Moon City Delta was humanity's last bastion. Only a small minority of them considered that Earth might still be habitable in the future. They were usually ridiculed as idealist that wanted to return to an idyllic paradise. Howard hesitated to answer the transmission. For all intents and purposes, this would be their first contact with a foreign human culture. Who knows what silly things they could believe right now. The fact that the voice kept referring to a 'sky spirit' only reinforced that worry. They were still humans, though. It would be condescending to immediately look down on them when they were capable reestablishing communications with Moon Base Delta. They couldn't be complete idiots... right? Howard decided to alert his superior. It was the prudent thing to do. News of this would spread through the base in a matter of hours. Their way of life might be affected going forward. And then the voice started saying something about lighting on fire the living sacrifice. Howard froze. They were going to kill someone. A misguided attempt at constructing a rudimentary rocket. They thought that throwing people into a metallic tube and burning them alive while inside was the way to send them to the 'delta realm'. Howard didn't even know how to begin explaining the many ways they were wrong. He didn't have time to get someone else. If he didn't answer the transmission, that person's death would be his responsibility. "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there." "The blessed Moon City in the far reaches of Delta has answered our prayers!" Loud cheering swelled in the background. "Light the sacred flames!" More cheering. "Wait!" shouted Howard. The voices fell quiet. Their worried whispers made it clear that they were scared of the 'sky spirit'. The leader then said: "Have we angered you, sky spirit?" "P-please don't sacrifice anyone. It's not necessary." "I warned you!" said a woman. "We'll be punished for our hubris! Treading upon the land of Delta would only anger the gods! We don't belong there!" People started agreeing with her. Angry shouting slowly increased until the entire room was arguing. They considered murdering the man for leading them astray. Howard panicked. He wanted to prevent a tragedy, but speaking only seemed to make things worse. These people were bloodthirsty. Life must be extremely harsh to survive in that environment. They wanted someone, anyone, to restore everything back to before the apocalypse destroyed everything. Howard sighed. This would be a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, he also knew that if humanity had any hope of thriving again, they had to do their best to reclaim their lost world. Most citizens in the moon base had given up on that dream. They might even want to stay as far away from Earth as possible after learning about these people. Howard couldn't ignore them, though. He leaned close to the microphone and said: "Hear me people of Earth, for I bring good news. There will be no sacrifices today. Do that and you will never hear from me again." The people gasped. "We're sorry!" shouted their leader. "Please don't abandon us again!" "Do not apologize for threading upon the divine. That boldness is what propels humanity towards impossible heights. Listen and follow my instructions well. I shall teach you how to restore your world to the lush green fields it once had, and establish a bridge between our worlds again." The voices went wild. They started celebrating a new dawn for their society. Howard sunk back into his chair. The consequences of his actions had just dawned on him. They worshiped him as a savior. The rest of the moon base couldn't find out about this. At least, not for a while. Howard didn't really know how his superiors would react to him being a god now. Then again, if this culminated with the restoration of Earth, he would live on in myths for eternity. ----- >If you enjoyed this, you can check out more of my stories over at /r/WeirdEmoKidStories. Thanks for reading!	"What?" Faldwell tilted his head at the electronic device. "Am I speaking to the Sky Spirit?" "Sky spirit? What the hell is going on down there, we haven't heard from Earth in weeks." Faldwell sighed and turned to face his band of fur-wearing, face painted, dirty followers. "Hold on, guys. I think the quest is bugged, he chuckled nervously. "You know how new servers are," he gestured at the air to produce his slate. Everyone else saw it as a smokey glass pane, though he clearly saw text with access to all his menus on it. He navigated to the support menu and requested a mod. Moments later a black hole opened next to him and a young man with a bush of dark brown curls on his head walked out. "Mod Aurelio," he pointed at his nametag. "What's the problem?" he asked as he approached Faldwell. "Hello? Earth? This is Moon City Delta, are you there?" Faldwell gestured at the primitive tech that illustrated their trouble. "We've got hundreds of families up here worried about you all." "Quest is bugged," he added clarification. "Oh. Hold on this needs to be escalated," Aurelio brought up his own slate. "Should I talk to them?" Faldwell asked. Aurelio shook his head as he typed on the glass. Seconds after he stopped typing another black hole opened. A short, plump, pale woman in a black suit walked out. "Hey Melody, we've got a problem. Moon full of Zeros," he pointed at the radio in time to hear them try again. "This is Moon City Delta, do you read us Earth?" Melody glanced at the radio, then at the small crowd gathered around them, then at Faldwell. He was dressed in furs and grime like them, though he also wore an elaborate headdress made from a lion's skull and a mane made of colorful feathers. "Guild leader?" she asked. Faldwell nodded. "The Sky Spirit's blessing is the last thing we needed to earn our guild hall," he said. "Sharp Development apologizes for the inconvenience. Please accept this server...," she gave Faldwell a card-sized piece of glass, then pointed at a fresh portal that opened next to him. "... for bringing this bug to our attention, and as an apology for troubling your gameplay experience." His eyes went wide. "A server!? A WHOLE server just for us?" Melody nodded. "If you need any help setting it up, you'll be able to contact Aurelio directly," she smiled. "Thanks! C'mon guys!" Faldwell immediately rushed through the portal followed by his role-playing cult. "Uh... Earth," the radio spoke again once the guild left. "The great Sky Spirit commands you to speak to us. Where are you?" "Warn them about the cataclysm," Melody said as she looked up into the sky for the moon. The palms of her hands started glowing with bright blue light. "On it," Aurelio replied; his fingers danced on the glass slate. \[Server Notice: Cataclysmic Event! The moon is shattered. Server template is updated from Apocalyptic to Catastrophic. Environmental safety programs have been disabled. Permadeath is enabled. Please relocate to a standard server if you wish to remain safe. Sharp Development takes no responsibility for players that remain on this server.\] "Done," Aurelio said. Melody nodded and pointed her glowing hands at the moon. Streaks of bright blue plasma launched out of her hands at it. \\\* Thank you for reading! I’m responding to prompts every day. This is year three, story #116. You can find all my stories collected on my subreddit ([r/hugoverse](https://www.reddit.com/r/hugoverse/)) or my blog. If you're curious about my universe (the Hugoverse) you can visit the Guidebook to see what's what and who's who, or the Timeline to find the stories in order.
[WP]"Oh great far-speaking tower, I have performed the rituals as set forth in the sacred manual. Let me speak to the sky spirit so I may learn of it's wisdom!" "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there."	Howard widened his eyes at the blinking control panel. He assumed this was prank at first. It said the transmission came from Earth. That should've been impossible. The planet had been a smoggy, irradiated mess for over a century. Nobody lived down there anymore. At least, that was what Howard believed until now. The guy on the other side of the transmission clearly proved that wrong. Most citizens thought that Moon City Delta was humanity's last bastion. Only a small minority of them considered that Earth might still be habitable in the future. They were usually ridiculed as idealist that wanted to return to an idyllic paradise. Howard hesitated to answer the transmission. For all intents and purposes, this would be their first contact with a foreign human culture. Who knows what silly things they could believe right now. The fact that the voice kept referring to a 'sky spirit' only reinforced that worry. They were still humans, though. It would be condescending to immediately look down on them when they were capable reestablishing communications with Moon Base Delta. They couldn't be complete idiots... right? Howard decided to alert his superior. It was the prudent thing to do. News of this would spread through the base in a matter of hours. Their way of life might be affected going forward. And then the voice started saying something about lighting on fire the living sacrifice. Howard froze. They were going to kill someone. A misguided attempt at constructing a rudimentary rocket. They thought that throwing people into a metallic tube and burning them alive while inside was the way to send them to the 'delta realm'. Howard didn't even know how to begin explaining the many ways they were wrong. He didn't have time to get someone else. If he didn't answer the transmission, that person's death would be his responsibility. "Uh.. Copy that. Moon City Delta responding... We thought everyone was dead down there." "The blessed Moon City in the far reaches of Delta has answered our prayers!" Loud cheering swelled in the background. "Light the sacred flames!" More cheering. "Wait!" shouted Howard. The voices fell quiet. Their worried whispers made it clear that they were scared of the 'sky spirit'. The leader then said: "Have we angered you, sky spirit?" "P-please don't sacrifice anyone. It's not necessary." "I warned you!" said a woman. "We'll be punished for our hubris! Treading upon the land of Delta would only anger the gods! We don't belong there!" People started agreeing with her. Angry shouting slowly increased until the entire room was arguing. They considered murdering the man for leading them astray. Howard panicked. He wanted to prevent a tragedy, but speaking only seemed to make things worse. These people were bloodthirsty. Life must be extremely harsh to survive in that environment. They wanted someone, anyone, to restore everything back to before the apocalypse destroyed everything. Howard sighed. This would be a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, he also knew that if humanity had any hope of thriving again, they had to do their best to reclaim their lost world. Most citizens in the moon base had given up on that dream. They might even want to stay as far away from Earth as possible after learning about these people. Howard couldn't ignore them, though. He leaned close to the microphone and said: "Hear me people of Earth, for I bring good news. There will be no sacrifices today. Do that and you will never hear from me again." The people gasped. "We're sorry!" shouted their leader. "Please don't abandon us again!" "Do not apologize for threading upon the divine. That boldness is what propels humanity towards impossible heights. Listen and follow my instructions well. I shall teach you how to restore your world to the lush green fields it once had, and establish a bridge between our worlds again." The voices went wild. They started celebrating a new dawn for their society. Howard sunk back into his chair. The consequences of his actions had just dawned on him. They worshiped him as a savior. The rest of the moon base couldn't find out about this. At least, not for a while. Howard didn't really know how his superiors would react to him being a god now. Then again, if this culminated with the restoration of Earth, he would live on in myths for eternity. ----- >If you enjoyed this, you can check out more of my stories over at /r/WeirdEmoKidStories. Thanks for reading!	"Why would everyone be dead?" I asked. "...You did follow the manual, right? Exactly how it was all laid out?" the voice from the sky said with holy reverb and a deep pitch that vibrated your bones. I gazed around at the courtyard of the castle grounds beneath the tower, haunted by the carnage that was ensued from the ritual, I shivered at the stench of rotten death and burnt flesh. "Uh yeah." "You summoned 'The Unholy Reckoner'... right?" "Uh-huh..." I bobbed my head, still craning my neck upwards at the sky. "And then the five horned bats came down and observed the land to make sure everyone was dead, right?" "Yup, they just left about 10 minutes ago." "And then the river of flames opened up from the ground and toasted everyone, right?" I nodded. "What was that? Did you say something?" the voice yelled followed by a cracking noise in the background. "Oh, sorry, I nodded for a moment. Yes, the river of flames did open up and it burnt everyone to a crisp." "Well... You failed. Good job. Way to screw everything up. You suck. I hope you know that. You really really suck." "What are you talking about?" I spun around, frantically trying to think of what I did wrong. "Let me ask you something, when you saw that in the manual it said 'everyone must die', how exactly did you process that information?" "I-uh-well-uh all of my 300 followers I brought with me died. Wasn't that what you wanted?" "It's not just your followers, you're supposed to die too, jackass!" My senses numbed, my heart sank, tears bursted in rivers down my eyes. How could I fail my life's work? "How does it feel, jackass, to be a failure?" stifled laughter came from the omniscient voice. My neck hung low as if an anchor was wrapped around in a necklace. "I-I-It's horrible..." "How does it feel to be PRANKED by the galaxy's most popular elaborate prank show, Moon City Delta?" Flood lights burned on and revealed that the castle grounds were inside of a massive dome with a studio audience that covered the rest of the land and clapped so hard the ground shook. A sea of crew members dressed in backstage regalia and equipment contributed to the applause. Cameras were strewn across the steel beams that supported the dome and down from the top of the (now obvious and fake) tower an elevator that was just a floating disc came down with five purple aliens. They had ruby red eyes, crystal blue suits, and they were no larger than a garden gnome. The crowd roared as soon as they made their entrance, they bowed in response. Frozen in shock, the five aliens circled around me and threw a microphone up at my face. My jaw dropped. On the massive set, I saw all of my followers get up and wipe the makeup off their face and wave at me while cracking up. I saw 'The Unholy Reckoner' take off his mask and it turned out he was just a bunch of those purple aliens all stacked up on top of each other. "How does it feel to have been pranked? By Zoller, Quro, Poz, Jav, and me, Vur?" one of the aliens asked me, but my lips trembled too much to form a sentence. The crowd shrieked with glee as he read the names. "How does it feel to know that you thought this was real and you were responsible for the death of 300 of your own kind?" Another alien asked and the five of them chuckled and the rest of the crowd howled with laughter. "I-uh-I-um--" "Looks like we have another struggler here, you saw it live folks! That's been our season the past eight years, we hope you've enjoyed the prank and stay tuned for the next one where we convince a king to actually give up his wealth to his people! It's a good one and a real tear jerker. You won't want to miss it!" &#x200B; \\\*If you're interested in reading more, [here's a prompt](https://www.reddit.com/r/randallcooper/comments/ficr4t/wpthe_sage_has_found_the_chosen_one_a_farmer_boy/) I did that has a similar feel! :)
[WP] A party of adventurers were paid to track down and kill a monster sighted in the area. A week later they return saying they have found the monsters, before drawing their weapons on those who hired them	Mayor Douglas sat in his office, waiting for news. He had other things he needed to do, but this was important. The adventurers her hired were seen in town, heading for the town hall. Since they were back, that meant they had succeeded in their mission. This was a highly ranked party known for accomplishing tasks. The only way they would come back is with the head of the Beast in their possession. The group of five entered the room. They did not have anything on them that could be considered the Beast's head, but what did he know? These were powerful people. They likely had at least one bag of holding on them. They definitely had enough money, if the equipment they had on was any indication. Everything they wore radiated power. Even their jewelry was most likely powerful enough to be classified as a national treasure or major military asset. The only way to get such things was with massive amounts of money, or by risking life and limb in the darkest places of the world. "Welcome back, adventurers." Mayor Douglas said with a wide smile. "I trust you were successful in your quest." "We found the Beast you told us to kill." Said the party's leader. He was a tall fellow with well formed features named Bennit. "But we did not kill it." The mayor's face fell. "So, you failed. And I thought you were supposed to be the best." "We did not fail." Bennit said. "We refused to carry out the task." The party's healer, a woman with (supposedly literal) angelic features called Alline spoke next. "When you gave us this quest, you forgot to mention one important detail. You said we would be hunting a monster than had kept your people from logging and hunting in the forest. You did not mention the monster in question was the Great Sacred Beast of the Forest." Douglas stiffened. He had not expected them to know what the Beast was. That would be problematic. "Bah. Who cares about a monster's title. I asked you to kill it." A slight man dressed in what looked like leaves and vines spoke next. "Do you know what would happen if we killed it?" The druid, Lestin, asked. "We would be able to send in out lumberjacks." "No. The forest would die. In fact, all forests would die. Everywhere. In all likelihood, all plant life would die. That particular Sacred Beast is the source of all plant mana in the world. Without it, plants would wither away." "Oh please, you can't expect me to believe that." "It's true though." The party's mage, a tiny woman called Bea, chimed in. "Everyone knows the Great Sacred Beasts allow the different kinds of mana to exist. They collect cast off life energy, convert it into mana, and release it into the world. Without them, life could not exist. If any of them were to die, the aspect of nature the Beast represents would die as well. This one was of the Forest, and governs plant life. So killing it would end all plant life in the world." "And so what? All I know is that its presence is keeping my people from setting foot in the forest. Without that, we cannot survive. So, I demand you go out and kill that Beast so we can resume business." The mayor growled. "Otherwise, I'll be sure to inform the guild that you were too cowardly to accomplish this simple task." Suddenly, Mayor Douglas felt something press against his throat. It was long, cold and sharp. He froze. The party's rouge, a wiry fellow known only as Grey was no longer among the rest of the party. It was no mystery where he had gone. "Did you know, Mr. Mayor," Bennit said, "That there are laws regarding the Sacred Beasts?" The swordsman drew his blade. It was hardly needed, considering there was already a blade pressed to Douglas' throat. "Very strict laws, in fact. Hunting a normal Sacred Beast is punishable by life in prison. Hunting one of the Great Sacred Beasts, on the other hand, well, that's a bit more severe. And the way the law is made, even posting a quest to kill one of them is counted as hunting. Care to guess what the punishment it?" "You...you can't do this!" Mayor Douglas shouted. "I am the mayor of this town! I do what's right by my people, to be damned with monsters with fancy names. Besides, you don't have the authority to execute anyone." "Actually, we do. In this case, we do. As those who accepted the quest, and those who saw what the target actually is, we are not only authorized to carry out the punishment, we are obligated to. Otherwise, it would make us look just as guilty as you are. Besides, we are a trusted, honorable party of adventurers. People know we speak the truth in just about everything. They will believe us. And even if they didn't, all we would need to do is show them your request and then take them to see the Beast itself. So yes, Mr. Mayor, we very much can do this." "Don't worry." Alline said quietly. "I shall prey for your soul's well-being." She clasped her hands and a faint glow surrounded her. And that was the last thing he saw.	The door to the Guard's barracks flies open, kicked in by a heavy, armored boot. In the threshold stood one of the Adventurers the town had sent out to hunt down an infestation of Kobolds. "Well?" Asks Toric, the Captain of the Guard "Did you find the Monsters?" "We have." The Adventurer nods as he steps in out of the storm, followed by the others that had been hired. "Did you deal with them?" Toric asks, slightly annoyed. "Not yet." The first answers as he draws his longsword, which was perfectly clean. The others follow suit. "The real monsters still live, but we'll soon fix that." Toric backs against the wall, frightened of the group of dangerously armed, possibly insane Adventurers in front of him "Listen, Let's not be hasty. The king sent me that money. Sent me the orders." "Orders to slay an entire village of Kobolds. Luckily, our Wizard is quite knowledgeable in Illusion magic, and was able to unmask the little plot. Those villagers wouldn't have stood a chance." "I swear, I had nothing to do with it!" Toric pleads, drawing a sneer from the lightly armored halfling "I'd believe you if there were letters. Unfortunately, my sneaky friend here never found any." The man steps forward threateningly "It's time to deal with the real Monsters, and you're the first on the list." Nobody came to Toric's aid, despite the screaming from the Barracks, but plenty were upset the gallows wouldn't get used that day.
[WP] A party of adventurers were paid to track down and kill a monster sighted in the area. A week later they return saying they have found the monsters, before drawing their weapons on those who hired them	The Lord's house was quite quiet at night. He usually dismisses his servants shortly after sundown with only a guard posted at the gate. He worked hard to make not only his estate safe but much of the surrounding village. Which was why it was a surprise that there was someone holding a knife to his throat! "I don't know why you would pursue this line of villainy, but just take me and the treasures you want and leave my family and servants be." "Cut the crap, Drakemoor." He know that voice. A slippery fellow that was the point of contact for some adventurers he hired. "You've got some explaining to do." The man, whose went solely by the name of Quick, removed his knife but didn't sheathe it. "You knew exactly why you sent us out there." Drakemoor stood up and faced him. "Of course I did. Someone sighted a goblin in the woods and followed it back to a march of a large group. I need them disposed of before they become a threat." "Yeah, and a unicorn might make me its wife." Drakemoor reeled a bit from such unpleasant imagery. "I've been around and I know exactly what kind of goblins those are. Vermiri Goblins to be specific. Peaceful as can be. They're not invading, they're refugees. The war in their homeland? Displaced the lot of them. A war, I might add, you backed yourself in the King's court!" He pointed his knife accusingly. "You knew exactly what they were." He walked up on Drakemoor until he could smell the anger on his breath. "And you paid us 500 of the King's gold to remove them. You monster." The Lord felt the tip of the knife near his liver. "Did you really think we wouldn't notice? Over a hundred of them and you wanted us to just slaughter them for that money?" The Lord looked ashamed. "I... I didn't think of it like that. I'm sorry to put you in such a difficult position. I don't know what I can do to make this up to you and your group. I feel terrible." "Yeah, well, you should. When I found out what you actually wanted us to do, the wizard in our group wanted to show you personally what a fireball detonated inside your house would do. The healer in our group, though, said that spilling blood like that profits nobody and asked me to talk with you." "I'll not look a gift like this as an offense. I must make things right. What can I do?" "2000." The Lord looked at him nonplussed before asking, "What?" "Two thousand gold to kill them and cover it up. We buy some cheap weapons, make it look like they were planning an attack, and everyone's butts are covered." "I thought you were angry because I asked you to kill innocents. You called me a monster!" "Yeah you're a monster! You didn't pay us enough!"	The door to the Guard's barracks flies open, kicked in by a heavy, armored boot. In the threshold stood one of the Adventurers the town had sent out to hunt down an infestation of Kobolds. "Well?" Asks Toric, the Captain of the Guard "Did you find the Monsters?" "We have." The Adventurer nods as he steps in out of the storm, followed by the others that had been hired. "Did you deal with them?" Toric asks, slightly annoyed. "Not yet." The first answers as he draws his longsword, which was perfectly clean. The others follow suit. "The real monsters still live, but we'll soon fix that." Toric backs against the wall, frightened of the group of dangerously armed, possibly insane Adventurers in front of him "Listen, Let's not be hasty. The king sent me that money. Sent me the orders." "Orders to slay an entire village of Kobolds. Luckily, our Wizard is quite knowledgeable in Illusion magic, and was able to unmask the little plot. Those villagers wouldn't have stood a chance." "I swear, I had nothing to do with it!" Toric pleads, drawing a sneer from the lightly armored halfling "I'd believe you if there were letters. Unfortunately, my sneaky friend here never found any." The man steps forward threateningly "It's time to deal with the real Monsters, and you're the first on the list." Nobody came to Toric's aid, despite the screaming from the Barracks, but plenty were upset the gallows wouldn't get used that day.
[WP] A party of adventurers were paid to track down and kill a monster sighted in the area. A week later they return saying they have found the monsters, before drawing their weapons on those who hired them	The Lord's house was quite quiet at night. He usually dismisses his servants shortly after sundown with only a guard posted at the gate. He worked hard to make not only his estate safe but much of the surrounding village. Which was why it was a surprise that there was someone holding a knife to his throat! "I don't know why you would pursue this line of villainy, but just take me and the treasures you want and leave my family and servants be." "Cut the crap, Drakemoor." He know that voice. A slippery fellow that was the point of contact for some adventurers he hired. "You've got some explaining to do." The man, whose went solely by the name of Quick, removed his knife but didn't sheathe it. "You knew exactly why you sent us out there." Drakemoor stood up and faced him. "Of course I did. Someone sighted a goblin in the woods and followed it back to a march of a large group. I need them disposed of before they become a threat." "Yeah, and a unicorn might make me its wife." Drakemoor reeled a bit from such unpleasant imagery. "I've been around and I know exactly what kind of goblins those are. Vermiri Goblins to be specific. Peaceful as can be. They're not invading, they're refugees. The war in their homeland? Displaced the lot of them. A war, I might add, you backed yourself in the King's court!" He pointed his knife accusingly. "You knew exactly what they were." He walked up on Drakemoor until he could smell the anger on his breath. "And you paid us 500 of the King's gold to remove them. You monster." The Lord felt the tip of the knife near his liver. "Did you really think we wouldn't notice? Over a hundred of them and you wanted us to just slaughter them for that money?" The Lord looked ashamed. "I... I didn't think of it like that. I'm sorry to put you in such a difficult position. I don't know what I can do to make this up to you and your group. I feel terrible." "Yeah, well, you should. When I found out what you actually wanted us to do, the wizard in our group wanted to show you personally what a fireball detonated inside your house would do. The healer in our group, though, said that spilling blood like that profits nobody and asked me to talk with you." "I'll not look a gift like this as an offense. I must make things right. What can I do?" "2000." The Lord looked at him nonplussed before asking, "What?" "Two thousand gold to kill them and cover it up. We buy some cheap weapons, make it look like they were planning an attack, and everyone's butts are covered." "I thought you were angry because I asked you to kill innocents. You called me a monster!" "Yeah you're a monster! You didn't pay us enough!"	Mayor Douglas sat in his office, waiting for news. He had other things he needed to do, but this was important. The adventurers her hired were seen in town, heading for the town hall. Since they were back, that meant they had succeeded in their mission. This was a highly ranked party known for accomplishing tasks. The only way they would come back is with the head of the Beast in their possession. The group of five entered the room. They did not have anything on them that could be considered the Beast's head, but what did he know? These were powerful people. They likely had at least one bag of holding on them. They definitely had enough money, if the equipment they had on was any indication. Everything they wore radiated power. Even their jewelry was most likely powerful enough to be classified as a national treasure or major military asset. The only way to get such things was with massive amounts of money, or by risking life and limb in the darkest places of the world. "Welcome back, adventurers." Mayor Douglas said with a wide smile. "I trust you were successful in your quest." "We found the Beast you told us to kill." Said the party's leader. He was a tall fellow with well formed features named Bennit. "But we did not kill it." The mayor's face fell. "So, you failed. And I thought you were supposed to be the best." "We did not fail." Bennit said. "We refused to carry out the task." The party's healer, a woman with (supposedly literal) angelic features called Alline spoke next. "When you gave us this quest, you forgot to mention one important detail. You said we would be hunting a monster than had kept your people from logging and hunting in the forest. You did not mention the monster in question was the Great Sacred Beast of the Forest." Douglas stiffened. He had not expected them to know what the Beast was. That would be problematic. "Bah. Who cares about a monster's title. I asked you to kill it." A slight man dressed in what looked like leaves and vines spoke next. "Do you know what would happen if we killed it?" The druid, Lestin, asked. "We would be able to send in out lumberjacks." "No. The forest would die. In fact, all forests would die. Everywhere. In all likelihood, all plant life would die. That particular Sacred Beast is the source of all plant mana in the world. Without it, plants would wither away." "Oh please, you can't expect me to believe that." "It's true though." The party's mage, a tiny woman called Bea, chimed in. "Everyone knows the Great Sacred Beasts allow the different kinds of mana to exist. They collect cast off life energy, convert it into mana, and release it into the world. Without them, life could not exist. If any of them were to die, the aspect of nature the Beast represents would die as well. This one was of the Forest, and governs plant life. So killing it would end all plant life in the world." "And so what? All I know is that its presence is keeping my people from setting foot in the forest. Without that, we cannot survive. So, I demand you go out and kill that Beast so we can resume business." The mayor growled. "Otherwise, I'll be sure to inform the guild that you were too cowardly to accomplish this simple task." Suddenly, Mayor Douglas felt something press against his throat. It was long, cold and sharp. He froze. The party's rouge, a wiry fellow known only as Grey was no longer among the rest of the party. It was no mystery where he had gone. "Did you know, Mr. Mayor," Bennit said, "That there are laws regarding the Sacred Beasts?" The swordsman drew his blade. It was hardly needed, considering there was already a blade pressed to Douglas' throat. "Very strict laws, in fact. Hunting a normal Sacred Beast is punishable by life in prison. Hunting one of the Great Sacred Beasts, on the other hand, well, that's a bit more severe. And the way the law is made, even posting a quest to kill one of them is counted as hunting. Care to guess what the punishment it?" "You...you can't do this!" Mayor Douglas shouted. "I am the mayor of this town! I do what's right by my people, to be damned with monsters with fancy names. Besides, you don't have the authority to execute anyone." "Actually, we do. In this case, we do. As those who accepted the quest, and those who saw what the target actually is, we are not only authorized to carry out the punishment, we are obligated to. Otherwise, it would make us look just as guilty as you are. Besides, we are a trusted, honorable party of adventurers. People know we speak the truth in just about everything. They will believe us. And even if they didn't, all we would need to do is show them your request and then take them to see the Beast itself. So yes, Mr. Mayor, we very much can do this." "Don't worry." Alline said quietly. "I shall prey for your soul's well-being." She clasped her hands and a faint glow surrounded her. And that was the last thing he saw.
[WP] "We're not so different, you and I," You said, and as the words passed your lips you realised, you were the villian.	I dragged her to the edge of the rooftop. She barely put up a fight, too spent from our duel that had ended with her at my mercy. Truth be told, I was putting all of my effort into staying on my feet as well. But I wasn’t going to miss this chance to show her why all of this had been necessary. “Sandra’s too strong even for you to control now,” Caroline spat at me. “You know that, right? You’ve fucked everyone.” I thrust her against the parapet so that she faced outward. A perfect view of the town below. With a sigh, I knelt beside her and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Our children are meant to grow beyond us, my love.” Caroline stared at the streets below, a few tears slipping down her cheeks. “Look what you’ve turned her into, Elle. Was it worth it? All this for power? Or to prove your insane magic would actually work?” She turned to me with gritted teeth and a glare that could shatter a mountain. “Was giving up our daughter fucking worth it?!” I matched her glare. “Giving up? Giving up?! You’re the one who gave up!” “Fuck you. I’m the one who cared about her. The only one.” “I did this for her!” I yelled, resisting the urge to strike her again. I took a deep breath, wrestling my fury down to a smolder. Caroline was a good mother. She just couldn’t see. It wasn’t her fault. I’d always been the more ambitious one. The poor woman needed it explained. “Our whole lives, we’ve been stepped on, trampled on. Treated like dirt. I wanted something different for Sandra.” I gazed out at the town below, a smile quivering at the edge of my lips. Sandra was below, sheer power and energy radiating from her. The gangs and crime lords had been first, the ones that had tormented our families and others like us for ages. She’d ripped through them like they were paper. Then the authorities arrived, intent on upholding the miasma of shit that they called order and peace. They’d been in bed with those shadowy syndicates, so they met the same fate. Sandra, sweet Sandra, was resting now, marveling at what she’d done. The bodies around her, the rivers of blood, all a monument to a single ideal. She would never be trash under the feet of the powers that be. I caressed Caroline’s shoulder. She shuddered and pulled away from me, and I let her. “We’re not so different, you and I,” I said, still watching Sandra in the streets. “Just mothers that want the best for our little girl.” The slap came as a stark surprise, pain flaring in my cheek. But I was too taken with the scene below to retaliate. With some effort, I tore my eyes away to face Caroline. Her face was nothing but fury and murder. “What’s best for her?!” The tears were coming stronger now. “You turned her into a monster. Elle! What about all those people down there, lives cut short because of what Sandra’s become?” “They’re the monsters,” I muttered back. “Oh, really? All of them?” Caroline shook her head. “The police and soldiers that are bleeding down there. They’re just trying to keep their city safe. Don’t you think they cared about their children too?” I swallowed. “Their children?” “Some of those men and women are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters. That bond that you say you cherish, you’ve broken them in one night.” The fire I’d been feeling slowly went cold. I turned back to the street. Even some of the gang members looked young, now that I really looked at them. Barely a year or two older than Sandra. Poor kids that had been roped into dark dealings. Then I saw Sandra. Before, I thought she’d been revelling in her power. Her freedom. But now I saw her. Tears streaming from wide, sunken eyes. She wasn’t cheering or laughing. She was screaming. “Is this the best life we can give her?" Caroline asked. “And what if she doesn’t stop there? How many families will be shattered?” I stepped back from the edge. “Oh gods…” I muttered. What have I done?	''I’m here to do my duty.'' I say while holding the knife behind my back. He doesn’t seem to care about what I say or what I do. He looks at the bodies on the ground and then stares at me with cold eyes. We look at each for a while and I try to get closer to step by step, slowly. He takes one step back and then he throws the half-empty bottle of whiskey to me. But he can’t hit me. I’m far better than him. I will have to make him understand but I need to enjoy this moment first. ''We don’t need to resort to violence, you know.'' I say. ''Tell that to people that you killed, they are right here in front of you.'' He says and he reaches his back and he pulls out a 9mm Glock. ''As I told you, I’m here to do my duty. They were just an obstacle to my objective. Do you really want to be like them?'' I ask with a calm voice. Loud bang interrupts the moment and lights start to flicker in the building and then a woman scream distracts him. I take that opportunity to throw my knife to him while his guard is down. The knife penetrates his hand with the perfect angle, he is disarmed. I approach him while he is screaming in pain. I hold his chin, ''Look at me. You don’t have to be sorry. This is who you are and to be honest, we are not so different, you and I, you know?'' Lights goes out completely but we can still see each other. There is complete silence in the room for the first time and I have a puzzling question in my mind. ------------------- -Thank you for reading the story- I welcome any feedback, please comment if you liked/disliked the story. Stay safe!
[WP] You’re in a coffee shop, sipping at a medium latte. You think to yourself, “What if I’m the only one that can read minds?”. Suddenly, someone right looks at you, with the widest eyes.	The weather was dull, gloomy, a world of rain, and I hated it. Not as much as the people sitting around me, but, still, it was annoying. I would much rather have spent the day running about, ignoring civilisation as I was apt to do, but, sadly, the universe had stolen the choice from me and I was stuck getting my medium latte in an overfilled coffee shop. I growled and plopped myself down at the nearest empty table. The rush of other's people lamenting thoughts about the rain, complaints, and general displeasure was enough to drive anyone crazy. It was only because of practice and learnt patience that I was able to flit through them all and force them into the back of my mind, sipping calmly on my latte and trying to gather a sense of decorum around me. It was a tasteless woman who spent her day visibly growling and pouting in a coffee shop because of the weather. I refused to appear tasteless. (Although, if I did come across as a moody person, I knew that it wasn't the weather that was the cause of my annoyance. Rather, it was the fact that I was forced to visit a coffee shop because of the stormy weather. And, naturally, the shop was filled to the brim.) As was my usual, I allowed myself to wonder whether I was the only person who could hear other's thoughts and expected the dull glances of those unaware of my ability to grace my thought, sitting back in my seat and casting a look about the room. I definitely, most assuredly, did not expect the man with the dark briefcase, the man with the too-dark eyes, to snap his eyes towards mine with a silence flowing through his mind that gave me pause. It wasn't possible, I assured myself. It could not be true. The man stood from his seat and pushed his way through the crowd of customers, sauntering towards me as I began panicking, gathering my coffee and my handbag in a sudden rush to leave. The man was far too fast and his hand snapped out to rest on my shoulder, my eyes slipping towards the mole on his cheek that I hoped was a rather safer place to look at than his eyes. His lips tipped up in a slow smile and I froze. "It's entirely possible," he whispered, leaning closer to me as he removed a business card from his briefcase. "And, if you call this number, I can tell you so much more about it." He forced the card into my trembling hand and smirked, whirling around on his heel with a wink before pushing his way back into the crowd. I could only stare at his receding back.	While sipping my foamy coffee I think that if I'm the only one who can read the minds of people sitting over here. The people who have come to the coffee shop are enjoying their cup of coffee some came alone, some are waiting for their partners and others have come to enjoy coffee like me. Instead of all these things, a handsome guy entered the coffee shop who had a sexy personality and his hairs were moving with the flow of his walking. I have lost in dreamland thinking of that guy. After some time he ordered the medium latte I know this because I was staring at him badly. Now the coincidence which happened with me. There was no empty table in the whole shop and he came to me asking that: Can I sit here with you mam? and at that time butterflies were flying in my stomach with a bliss. And I replied to him by saying: Yeah sure u can. I started the conversation because in my mind I was interested in him we asked about each other and the conversation started from there and after some time our coffee also finished. From that day we started coming to that shop daily to find a glimpse of one another and sooner or later we became good friends.
[WP] You’re in a coffee shop, sipping at a medium latte. You think to yourself, “What if I’m the only one that can read minds?”. Suddenly, someone right looks at you, with the widest eyes.	"What if I'm the only one that can read minds," I thought whimsically, eyes taking in the room through the steam wafting off my double-shot pumpkin-soy latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon and two sugars, thanks. A girl with short hair, a long skirt, narrow features and wide eyes stared back at me. "Oh, god, she's so beautiful. I hope I haven't anything in my teeth," I thought as I smiled my best rogueish smile toward her, "oh the things we could do to--" Abruptly she stood up, eyes narrowing, almost glaring at me. "Very respectful and mutually agreed upon things!" I amended quickly in my mind. She took one, then two large strides toward me. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, please don't be offended!" I thought desperately. I started to fidget nervously, shooting my eyes around the room, searching for something to hold on to. She arrived at my table and drew her hand back, eyes focused intensely. "Oh this is so humiliating, let it be over quickly. " I cringed inwardly and outwardly as her hand swooped down. She swatted something off my shirt. "Sorry, you had a spider, didn't want it to give you a fright!" She said with a smile. "Oh, whew, my hero!" I said as I relaxed backward into my chair and gave her a grin. "And there's nothing in your teeth," she said with a [wink](https://www.reddit.com/r/jacktheritter) as she walked away.	The look of surprise on his face was absolutely priceless. I looked down at my phone, latte in my right hand, and licked the foam from my lips slowly. I pretended not to notice the panic in his eyes as he continued to stare at me, before regaining his composure and pulled his phone out of his pocket, busying himself on the small device. I could read minds, and I had been doing it for a long time. Ive gotten good at tuning out thoughts that I don’t want to hear, so with a small amount of effort I brought my ability down on the panicked blonde man sitting three tables over. There was a moment of silence, then a quiet hum, before the mans thoughts flowed into my mind like a rushing wave. “Oh god he saw me he saw me staring what the FUCK do I do now he’s going to think I’m insane I just have to tune him out I shouldn’t have been listening in on him anyways fuck fuck FUCK.” I smiled to myself. Along with the ability to selectively read minds, I was adept at shielding my own thoughts from others, and only letting slip out what I wanted others to hear, or read in this case. I didn’t expect to catch anyone reading my thoughts, and not someone as green to their powers as this young man. I dialled back into his mind and listened again. “What if he actually can read minds maybe he can help me me with all this god damn NOISE I can’t even think in peace anymore. At least its only me and him in this shop thank god for the silence maybe I should ask him yes I should ask him I just have to get up and go sit down in front of him I’m sure he won’t mind just say hi he looks super hot he can’t be a crazy serial killer or something could he….” I dialled back my ability sat back in my chair. It was just as I had expected. He was new to his power and had a hard time controlling it. Well that really makes my decision for me doesn’t it, I mused to myself. Scooping up my phone and my drink, I walked over to the young mans table, his eyes the size of saucers as he saw me approach. I pulled the seat in front him out and sat down, placing my drink and my phone on the table. I stuck my hand out. ‘The names Patrick, and you’re cute yourself,’ I said with a wink and a smile. ‘Pleasure to meet you, and yes, to answer your question, I’ll help.’ The look on the young mans face was one of shock, then relief. He smiled back and grabbed my hand in a firm handshake. “My names Shawn, and…thank you. Thank you for offering to help.” He said with a smile. I stood up again and motioned for him to follow, “We should get going, we have a lot of training to cover.” Sean stood up and drained his drink in one swig, tossing it into the nearby garbage can. With a nod and determination in his eyes, he followed me out the door.
[WP] In this world, people are fragile as their feelings. Some people could trip and die as they hit the ground, and others could survive a fall off of a skyscraper unharmed. You begin to wonder how strong you might be.	Crash. I turn my head to the sound and watch with grim satisfaction as the last remains of what used to be Evans shatter against the floor. So much for playing the tough guy. This new curse that’s fallen on the human race has taught me how deceiving appearances can be. Evans and his crowd of bullies have gleefully tried to push me off the school’s roof, believing scaredy little me would surely be delicate as crystal. And yet, here I am, standing witness to the end of the last of them. This curse has brought the survival of the fittest to a whole new level. It has unearthed bullies’ fragility, exposed them for the cowards they are. My eyes roam through the courtyard. Most of the crowd wears bandages or protective gear. Most of them avoid impact with the others, for fear of losing a limb or worse, trip and shatter. Among them, there are a few people who walk without a care in the world, their heads held high. Timmy Carter. The smallest kid of his class. The shy one who always keeps to himself during the interval. Now, he walks among the crowd, unafraid. Elisa Davis. The smartest kid in her entire year. The mousy girl, her head always bent over one of her books. Now her wide smile shows the braces she has so relentlessly been mocked for. I could go on describing each one of them but the pattern is always the same. The kids who have been bullied the most, now are the strongest. Just like me. Who would have thought that every humiliation, every punch, every bruise would make us stronger, in the end. We’ve been watching out tormentors fall and break and shatter before our eyes. We’ve exchanged grim smiles. We’ve high fived each other over the dust of our enemies. Cold? Maybe, but our ability to adapt to every kind of situation has shaped us into what we are today. Survivors. We’re survivors and we’re watching society clean itself from bullies and abusers and their fragile egos. I look around myself, at this new world. I smile and take out the small glass bottle I always keep in my pocket, staring at the dust within. Hello, dad. Hello, mom.	"Guess 'e just wasn't stron' enough. His ickle feelings go' in the way." Came a wheeze came from the end of the bar. He was looking at the TV droning on about the news. Probably another guy trying to prove how "strong" and "masculine" he was. It was always kind of pointless- it didn't matter how tough you were. In the end, what mattered was surviving, not how tough you looked. The Green Light Event happened just over a month ago. Dr. Malcolm Dravitch from the CDC in America had told a terrified populous that the air quality had changed dramatically. While people weren't dying on the streets, it meant our biological make-up and neuro-chemicals had been altered. Instead of bringing upon mood change and for rare people physical state changes, people's moods now were physical, present and could affect others. The news sounded stranger than fiction. I had to stop watching lately, but there were a few stories. A six year old set her house on fire because she couldn't control her emotions. Apparently she was so excited at her birthday party, she had spontaneously burst into flame. She was unharmed but the house had been damaged. Another alarming story were a bunch of Fortune 500 types setting up betting pools and putting mentally-ill people in boxing matches to see who was "the strongest chump". Sometimes they would get in the ring and with their self-importance and bloated egos, they beat the crap out of everyone in the joint. It was disgusting. But what got me to turn off my TV and try and forget my troubles in the bar were the latest studies coming out of Manderfeild Health Center in which a young woman was admitted their and proceeded to melt after she had been diagnosed with cancer. She was a pile of biological waste in a mater of seconds- her hope was gone. I needed a drink. "Shut it Reggie!" yelled the bartender, a scruffy man with salt and pepper hair. He turns to me. "Refill?" I nod absently. Well, now I was thinking about it. My mortality. I don't think I could do those things. But according to the news, the health care professionals, scientists and other intellectuals were trying to stop it. The media was sensationalizing everything, as usual, but they started to do yoga and more positive programming. But still... I searched my pocket for a few crumpled, lonely bills and handed them to the server. I chugged the whisky and felt the warm tickle scorch my throat before leaving a half-grin across my face. Am I strong enough? I wonder to myself. It was a decent question. Psychiatrists across the county had put out questionnaires to start looking to minimize the damage and look after clients before their emotions took them over. I stared at mine for a few minutes and wrote on a separate piece of paper: >!I was never really sad anymore, but not truly happy. I am not depressed. I generally have good control of my emotions.!< I took another slosh and set my drink down. "So, wot ya think of dis chic?" Bleched Reggie from the corner. "Hooooo-Hiiiii! Found her man cheat'n on her and she' ge's so mad, she punched 'is block off!" I start deep breathing. In for 4, Hold for 7, Out for 8. In for 4, Hold for 7, Out for 8. In for The scrapping of the floor got me. The man had pushed his chair back and was stumbling up towards me, hand in a fist. "Jus'." he takes his fist . "knocks." he taps me in the shoulder. "his." Again. "Block". Again. "OFF!" he misses and taps hard into my jaw. I feel anger flow through me and stare at him. "BACK OFF REGGIE!" The barman yelled, coming over to remove him. "YOU'RE CUT OFF. Easy pal. Next drink on me." I could feel my skin tightening, squeezing. My eyes rolling into my head and my brain swelling. Somewhere, I know that I need to calm down, but it's too much. I've been watching people slave to their emotions. I've never had that luxury. And look at the mess it's made! I'm getting bigger, my clothes are ripping and my anger is exploding. Rage. Rage. RAGE. RAGE. RAGE. "Shut. Up. Before I knock YOUR BLOCK O-" My words don't work anymore. I see him, small before me, white as a sheet. The barman and the annoying man are down bellow. "RRRRRRRAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" I feel strong. Strong and big. No more thoughts, just anger. I can do anything. &#x200B; &#x200B; &#x200B; &#x200B; So this idea came to me by way of the Hulk, who Bruce Banner must be so careful about all the time and not let his emotions loose. He now lives in a world that now their emotions can cause all the damage he can and don't know how to deal with it. But because the world long ago gave up on Bruce, he's still drifting and avoiding the government but staying up to date on world affairs. He is a guy who tries to train his emotions from the pain and grief of a very abused child and resulting D.I.D.
[WP] In this world, people are fragile as their feelings. Some people could trip and die as they hit the ground, and others could survive a fall off of a skyscraper unharmed. You begin to wonder how strong you might be.	Crash. I turn my head to the sound and watch with grim satisfaction as the last remains of what used to be Evans shatter against the floor. So much for playing the tough guy. This new curse that’s fallen on the human race has taught me how deceiving appearances can be. Evans and his crowd of bullies have gleefully tried to push me off the school’s roof, believing scaredy little me would surely be delicate as crystal. And yet, here I am, standing witness to the end of the last of them. This curse has brought the survival of the fittest to a whole new level. It has unearthed bullies’ fragility, exposed them for the cowards they are. My eyes roam through the courtyard. Most of the crowd wears bandages or protective gear. Most of them avoid impact with the others, for fear of losing a limb or worse, trip and shatter. Among them, there are a few people who walk without a care in the world, their heads held high. Timmy Carter. The smallest kid of his class. The shy one who always keeps to himself during the interval. Now, he walks among the crowd, unafraid. Elisa Davis. The smartest kid in her entire year. The mousy girl, her head always bent over one of her books. Now her wide smile shows the braces she has so relentlessly been mocked for. I could go on describing each one of them but the pattern is always the same. The kids who have been bullied the most, now are the strongest. Just like me. Who would have thought that every humiliation, every punch, every bruise would make us stronger, in the end. We’ve been watching out tormentors fall and break and shatter before our eyes. We’ve exchanged grim smiles. We’ve high fived each other over the dust of our enemies. Cold? Maybe, but our ability to adapt to every kind of situation has shaped us into what we are today. Survivors. We’re survivors and we’re watching society clean itself from bullies and abusers and their fragile egos. I look around myself, at this new world. I smile and take out the small glass bottle I always keep in my pocket, staring at the dust within. Hello, dad. Hello, mom.	Does worrying that I’ll trip and fall make it more likely that I’ll die if I trip and fall? Worry is on the list of feelings. I’d never considered it needing reins. Worry was self-preservation. But that was before. Unsure if that rouge marble is a continuation of my dream or a foggy early-morning thought. The sun shines starkly through my closed blinds. I should already be awake. Will worry make me fragile like the health department has warned? It’s been six weeks since they told us what’s caused the staggering number of deaths: feelings. I dress in a rush and throw open my front door. There he is laid out on my sidewalk. An older, fit man, with salt and pepper hair still perfectly coiffed. His pleasant look betrayed only by a slight frown. He knew the mis-step over my sidewalk crack would be his downfall before he even hit the ground. I’d always enjoyed seeing what new life would call that crack home. No matter, I don’t know him. I just know he blocks the way to my car, and I’m late as always. It has to be an inconvenience, stepping over his body. Yet he was still too young to die. I stop myself. Don’t trip over a thought about an insignificant person. We all collectively clamor for the answer to what has changed, what caused these deaths. An about-face after a slow drip of reform. Feelings, they say, are our downfall after decades of increasing sensitivity. We’d told little boys it’s okay to cry. Encouraged little girls to speak up, it’s not bossy. The repression we’d fought against was now like a switch, flipped. It was going to kill us. The man still visibly emanated warmth on the frigid pavement. Operator, yes, there’s a body at 3142 Brownstone, please come retrieve it. I don’t wait for the police to arrive because his presence is merely a nuisance.

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