prompt
stringlengths 5
331
| story
stringlengths 404
40.3k
|
|---|---|
[ WP ] You are becoming suspicious that you are a Sims character after you set your house on fire when making salad .
| I am very proud of myself. Somehow, as I made a salad, this morning, my entire house burst into flames. I am not sure how this happened, of course. The chain of events could not have been faster. I jumped into my pool as quickly as I could, my soaked clothes wearing me down. At this point, I realized that I could not leave the pool because I can not get out of pools unless they have ladders. I stayed in that pool for several Llama hours, wondering when the Man in the Sky would set me free via some miracle of architecture. But there were no miracles of the sort. Instead, the Man in the Sky summoned an earthquake that ravaged the entirety of Dick Town, and I died.
|
[ WP ] A man who can read thoughts goes to a party and while listening in on a conversation , hears `` I know you can hear me . ''
| Richard graduated high school ten years ago with these people. He ’ d been to enormous cities and desolate landscapes searching and meditating on life.
He felt like waterfalls on islands had blown his mind. But tonight, he could predict these peoples ’ movements preternaturally. Their speech patterns almost to the point of what anyone would say.
They were curious about his weird adventures. Details were drawn out in a charming way. At one point, someone produced a joint.
After he partook in this, he became more and more aloof. For a while he rode a wave of carefree highness that crested as an old friend began saying things like ‘ Hey man. ” and “ I know you can hear me. ”
As this sentence settles on him… Richard realizes where he is and decides to get out of there.
Saying goodbye is a hassle.
|
[ WP ] Chuck Norris finally learns that Chuck Norris Jokes are n't to be taken literally
| `` Honey,'' began Mrs. Norris, `` it's 5 in the morning. Why are n't you asleep?''
Chuck Norris looked at her with his tired eyes, which were as red as the rising summer sun. `` Because I do n't sleep,'' he said, before staring ahead at the cabin wall. `` I wait.''
Mrs. Norris sighed. This was only the second night of their trip, and her husband was already doing this. `` I thought we agreed we were taking this trip for you. We chose Alaska this year to be away from the world... away from technology... away from...'' She bit her lip. `` The Internet.''
Chuck grunted. `` And what good did it do? If we were taking a trip, I would have preferred Hawaii.''
Mrs. Norris sighed. `` Well what choice did we have? The last time we went anywhere near an airport, we missed our flights because you kept spinning the revolving door.''
He looked at her again, and Mrs. Norris saw his hands clench into fists. `` I thought I told you this already. It's because Chuck Norris-''
`` -Can slam a revolving door.'' Her voice must have possessed some power, because Chuck's arms relaxed. Mrs. Norris ground her teeth. `` Chuck, I love you, but you're not putting any effort into this... issue... you have.''
`` I AM.'' His voice thundered out. `` God knows I have.'' His hands cupped around his eyes. `` I've put every ounce of my being into all of these challenges. And I've always tried to follow through.''
Her smile vanished, replaced with a frown. `` Look, honey, this getting absurd. I mean, after the last time, when you nearly burned your eyes out...''
`` I did n't. I was staring at the sun. We were having a staring contest.'' He held his hands inches apart. `` The sun was THIS close to losing. And the sun is-''
`` -supposed to lose in a staring contest against you. I get it, alright!'' Tears began to stream down Mrs. Norris cheeks. `` That's what you explained when the doctor asked why you nearly burned out your retinas.''
He tsked at her. `` That may be true for a normal person. But everyone else considers me a god, because I'm Chuck Norris!''
`` No, you're not; you're only *human! *'' She strode towards him, staring straight into his eyes. Do n't you get it? Those jokes are funny because *they're absolutely impossible! *'' She huffed and wiped her eyes. `` The Internet expects nothing from you!''
`` Then why do they keep going on about them? Why do I keep getting handwritten messages to roundhouse kick the moon into orbit. Why?''
Mrs. Norris leaned in, inches away from her husband's face. Anger leaked into every word as she said, `` Because. It's. Funny. To most people, anyway. And people like funny things. So they keep making more of those jokes.''
Something in her words -- ones that she must have uttered countless times already -- must have dug into Chuck's head. Chuck slowly stood up, in silence. Mrs. Norris stared as realization after realization washed over Chuck's face. Minutes felt like hours, as he blankly stared past his wife. Finally, he uttered, `` So that means that *all* of those sayings...''
`` Are jokes,'' she finished for him, yet again. `` Jokes that are n't meant to be taken seriously.''
He looked down and thought for longer. And quietly, he asked, `` Does this mean... does this mean that my dad... did n't lose his virginity after me, like they keep telling me?''
Mrs. Norris raised an eyebrow, but smiled and nodded anyway.
And with that, Chuck began to shudder, and lose his composure in his wife's arms, like a man that experiences freedom after months of anguish. Mrs. Norris continued to grin, and held her husband in the silence.
|
[ WP ] As far as you know , there 's nothing much to your ordinary , uneventful life . But the day you were abducted kicked off a chain of events that led to WWIII . Questions swirl in your head . Why you ? And do you have the key to end the war ?
| World War Three. The Seven Hour War. Whatever you know it by, we all remember that day. The day we were overwhelmed, and forced into subjugation.
I'd never admit it to most, but truth is I played a part in this.
It was a long time ago now. I'm an archaeologist... or rather was. At the time I had quite a bit of a reputation, and I was heavily engrossed in my latest research. It was an incredible time for me, a puzzle that spanned many civilisations and thousands of years. They cropped up at digs sites the world over, from Roman to Egyptian to Aztec.
I wrote books on them. Gave lectures about them. Presented and debated my findings with the finest minds of our generation, and they too were at a loss as to how they got there, and what they even really were.
Crystals. That much is obvious. Dive but a little beneath the surface of these things, and the questions come at you. As time went on these precious artefacts overshadowed anything else I did. To understand these objects became my sole concern.
That's when *he* came.
I did n't know him. Still do n't to be fair. Grey suit, dark hair, nothing extraordinary about him. The tone of his voice however was... strange. And he knew things. Things that not even the most reputable experts in their fields knew, including myself.
After filling in some blanks in my own research, he whetted my appetite enough to propose another expedition. Apparently he knew of a place that held a bigger artefact. *Much* bigger than even the most impressive in my own collection.
I should have ignored it. Left it buried. But how was I to know it would result in all this?
Of course I agreed. We found it in South Africa, Gauteng Province to be exact. In a newly discovered network of caves at Sterkfontein we found it, untouched for thousands of years. Much bigger and far older than anything I'd seen before.
The moment I touched that crystal, everything went black. For the longest time I thought something knocked me out cold, but no. I think it was something far stranger.
Because *he* was there, in the dark, speaking to me. I still remember what he told me.
*Thank you doctor. You have been most... helpful, but I am afraid I shall have to end our arrangement here. I wish I could give you more detail but... you really do n't need to know. *
*Time... to wake up. *
I came around again in my office, with no idea how I got back. No crystal, no evidence I even left to find it. It's almost like I imagined the whole thing.
And... well you know what happens after that. Now get moving or you'll miss today's rations.
|
[ WP ] You 've had insomnia all your life . Staying awake for 3 days in a row makes you see random shadows . But on the 4th day , you learn the shadows can talk .
| It begins when your head hits the pillow. On a good night it will be soft and plump, fitting your head like a glove, ready to transport your sleeping mind into the welcome oblivion of sleep. But I've never had good nights.
As an insomniac, I dread my bed. It represents everything I'm not, and everything I could be. My lack of sleep defines me, and when I see my bed in the corner of my room I just feel inadequate. It's why my desk faces the opposite wall, and it's why I sometimes sit at my computer for days at a time, so I do n't have to stand up and see my bed.
All my life I've had those dark `` bags'' under my eyes. All my life I've been the guy in the corner of the playground or the house party, nursing a drink and wishing he was somewhere else. My insomnia has led to my anxiety, my anxiety has fed my insomnia. It's a symbiotic and cancerous relationship which has only been detrimental to any part of my life. This has all led to depression, hours of browsing online anonymous message boards in the empty hours of the morning, hours of staring at the wall and clutching at the lid of my sleeping pills. Maybe the real abyss will be better than this. No one looks out for me. No one cares for me. The only one who expects me is my doctor, but he just looks bored these days. I'm sure he'll forget my name soon. Maybe in a month's time a neighbor on this floor will walk by and smell rot. They will find me face down on my desk, flies surrounding me like organic satellites orbiting a rotting and swollen earth stinking in the summer heat.
I wish I was normal. I wish I could sleep. I wish I had friends to talk to. I wish my parents were still alive, but most of all, I wish the shadows would go away.
( Ironically, I'm tired as hell right now and need to be up early. If anyone shows any interest I will continue with this when I'm free, unless someone more competent has written something better. )
|
[ WP ] They put humans on Earth just like how we put yeast to make bread . Letting us consume resources to grow and start global warming is just a part of their recipe .
| Sihlixxid opened the panel to his three-dimensions accessor and drew a deep breath.
Arrapha, over his shoulder, tried to smell the planet too.
`` It's taking longer than usual,'' Sihlixxid said. He closed the accessor door and checked what radiation he had set the planet to.
`` It's too sentient,'' Arrapha said. `` I told you it was too sentient.''
`` No,'' said Sihlixxid. `` *You* said the last one was n't sentient enough.''
`` Well, it's the same point. You're always wrong on the sentience.''
Sihlixxid leaned down to the accessor window, watching the little planet spinning in space.
`` It started browning just fine,'' he said. `` Give it a few more decades.''
Arrapha, not content to wait, began plating two bowls of meteorites and sprinkled them with Mama Clasxxjif's Tachyon Seasonings. He grabbed two bottles of hydrogen plasma, poured their contents into cups, and dropped in a pair of frozen moons.
`` Is it browning?'' Arrapha asked, knowing the answer.
Sihlixxid eased open the accessor and sniffed the planet again.
`` Quit opening it! You're letting out the radiation!''
Sihl murmured to himself there was more than enough radiation, then resumed his careful watch of the planet. Then a yellow spark flashed on one of the continents.
`` Oh! It's happening!'' Sihlixxid said.
The planet flashed again, this time near one of the oceans. After the third flash, the planet started flashing with greater consistency, but the ground remained largely green and the water largely blue.
Sihlixxid began sweating.
`` How's it coming?'' Arrapha asked from the living room. Arra had already set the table and turned the viewer to his favorite timelines.
`` Almost there!'' Sihlixxid lied. The weapons were apparently not powerful enough, or their use too infrequent. He swung open the fridge to see if he could heat up some leftovers from the fourth planet, but there was hardly enough for one meal, let alone two.
`` Should I call for delivery?'' Arrapha asked from the other room. `` Or are you out of cash too?''
Sihlixxid could feel his nebulae burning with anger and embarrassment.
`` No, I think it's good!'' Sihlixxid slid on a pair of three-dimensional gloves and reached into the accessor and pulled the planet out. He suspended it in his Carver 550, and sliced off two of the darkest, most-finished looking continents and drizzled some ocean on it. He squinted at a little black spot on the continent and could just barely see the movement that told him the cultures were still very much alive and very much toxic -- but so small, so infinitesimally small that a roommate idly watching timelines and eating dinner might easily eat them and not realize it until it was too late. It would only take a century for an advanced living human culture to kill someone. Dead before dinner was over.
Sihlixxid did the math in his head and then thought, Sure, I can afford this universe's rent on my own.
`` Dinner's served.''
|
[ WP ] You are the king 's court magician . Unable to find a suitiable bride , the king has ordered you to create one .
| # You can not create life through magic, only an imitation of it #
It was one of the Three Hundred Laws of magic. One of the early ones. Top 10.
But I had been tasked with breaking it. And everyone knew what happened to mages who disobeyed. They get... shackled. Literally and thaumaturgically.
But to break a Law... There is a tendency for the tales of mages who do such things to have their stories end with `` And they were never seen again.''
I initially sought out necromancy. It seemed the most logical conclusion, as it would involve a fleshy body and potentially be capable of producing a living heir if the body is well maintained by myself, and I did have a year to research, before the king reached his 19th birthday.
The results, after five months researching and testing, were horrific. On the plus side, I could probably set up a profitable bordello if I dimmed the lights and practically fumigated the working area with perfumes and scents. And blindfolded the patrons.
Plus, the king taking on a new Queen that just happens to look like a paler version of a fishmonger's wife would probably attract scandal if it got out.
I investigated into building a construct that just so happened to look like a human female, but decided it would n't be worth my neck the time the king desires an heir.
Ultimately, I just travelled for 3 months out to the kingdom of Rael, ventured into a whorehouse, and marked one with a Glyph of teleportation. Invisible dye, only visible under special blue light, got to love it.
Arriving back home in time for the king's birthday celebration, I summoned her and informed her she was soon to be a Queen, play along and I'd ensure she never has to lie on her back again.
It worked, but of course, the Queen uses me as her droit de signeur, that is, her bit on the side.
Eh, it's a living, this magic buisness. At least I look enough like the king ( everyone's basically short with brown hair around our way because a few generations ago, his great great great grandfather slept with EVERYONE all the time. So everyone's inbred on this continent, with all his campaigns and whatnot ) that if there was a heir produced it'd probably be convincingly his.
|
[ WP ] You wake up late at night in the woods , next to a shovel in the dirt and a man with a gun pointed at you . You realize quickly that he 's trembling in his voice , and is holding his side , which seems to be covered in blood .
| It was extremely dark, all I saw was the light in the man's eyes, the gun reflecting a tiny light, and a light from behind him.It was coming from a flashlight that was facing different direction. The man and I stared at each other, waiting to see what the other would do. `` I said shoot him, god damn it! Unless you want to be more like him!''
I did n't notice the pain at force, but I then felt a large cut on my legs, and I felt blood coming out the right side of my head.
I wanted to scream as loud as I could, the pain was excruciating.Though, two things stopped me. 1 ) It's a dumb move, if the person in front of me had a gun, and the one behind him had been threatening him, he must've been packing quite the punch.2 ) My vocal chords would n't allow it, I must've been punched, sick, or something because I just could not yell.
The man looked directly at me, and he mouthed, `` I'm sorry.'' he then shot the trigger.I'd close my eyes as soon as I saw what was happening.Though, after a couple of seconds, I'd thought `` Why am I not dead?''
I slowly opened my eyes, looking at the man.He continued to try to pull the trigger.The other man came over, which was my cue to act knocked out,'' You have to turn the safety off.'' the 2nd man turned it off. He looked about 6'4'', buff, had a flashlight in his mouth and a shotgun in his hand.
I started to remember something.
~Flashback~
``... unfortunately, the missing doctors were found dead today,'' the reporter said,'' This is the 4th time this month doctors have gone missing, and were found dead.'' A man had walked up to the lady reporter and whispered something, then went off set,'' Supposedly, one of the two doctors found were alive, here is an interview.''
The man had described the criminal as 6'4'', buff, and had a shotgun he had to reload every time after he shot.Or, in other words, a single barrel.He continued to say it was someone he read about, he supposedly had heart cancer.
~Present time~
The man fired a shot into the sky, `` Do it, now, or you die.'' he said to the other man.I quickly opened my eyes and put my legs around one of the other most likely doctor's legs, then tripped him to the side of the criminal, they both tumbled.
In the dark I looked for the handgun, desperately moving my hands around the grass.Until I suddenly graze my hand over it, and put it into my hands.I tried to get up, but the criminal had pulled my ankle, tripping me.As I fell, I tried to shoot him, though I missed.
I quickly go for another shot, but by now he crawled up to me and grabbed the gun, pointing it somewhere next to my head.We continued to wrestle for the gun, until he had it pointed on my forehead. `` Any last wishes? `` he said.
I did n't respond, instead I punched him in the left side of his chest, making him fall down, loosening his grip from the gun, I picked it up and jumped up. `` Any last wishes?'' I was barely able to stand with the large cut on my legs, so I leaned onto a tree.
I stared at him and realized, he was suddenly not moving, nor talking.I came to the conclusion he was dead, so now, I sit here, bleeding out, writing my last words in the dirt.Also, earlier, I saw that the bullet I shot and missed had killed the other doctor.
Farewell, world, hope I can see you on the other side.
|
[ WP ] It is said WAKE UP that people in a coma see messages telling them such . You begin to question PLEASE WAKE UP your reality .
| `` Wake up. You're in a coma.''
My heart starts hammering in my chest with familiar fear. I cover my ears but I know it wo n't help.
`` Please wake up. Please.''
I slam my palms against my ears and whisper under my breath `` No no no...'' I do n't want it to happen again.
`` Please, just wake up! I love you!''
She's yelling now. It sounds like she's crying. She starts screaming `` PLEASE! PLEASE!'' and the words become louder and clearer, like she's right next to me. I know it's going to happen again and I try to hold on to reality. This is reality. I know this is reality. But I slip away...
*Warm sheets fold over me as I lie in the hospital bed. The faint beeping of the heart monitor can be heard over her screams, she's screaming, she's screaming for me to wake up... *
I snap back into reality with a gasp. Her voice is gone now. I'm sitting on the subway and everyone is looking at me. The train stops and I run through the automatic doors. I look around at the people on the platform. Are they real? Is any of this real?
I need help.
`` It's been happening for weeks.'' I tell the therapist. `` I just... hear her sometimes. Always the same woman. Telling me to wake up. I'm-I'm scared this is n't real.'' The therapist, a friendly woman with a soft face looks at me and smiles.
`` Well this is a very common problem,'' she says, writing something on her clipboard. `` With a very simple solution.''
`` Really?'' I say. Finally, it'll stop.
`` Of course'' she says, but when she looks up the is n't the therapist, it's *her* and she says in her beautiful, gentle voice `` You need to wake up.''
`` No...'' I whisper, staring at the smiling, wonderful face of my wife. I scream at her `` NO! ``, because she is n't my wife, she ca n't be. I'm not married and she is n't real and I DO N'T NEED TO WAKE UP!
My heartbeat pounds in my ears as I run onto the busy sidewalk, but the people hurrying by me whisper in my ears `` Please wake up. Please. I love you so much.''
I scream at them. `` NO! NO!'' This is real. This must be real, please tell me this is real. I collapse on the ground, tears streaming from my eyes and whisper again `` No...''
She stops at my collapsed form and bends down to look at me. Her beautiful face is sagging with grief and tears swim in her eyes. She gently says `` Please. I love you so much. I just want you to wake up. Please.''
My eyes open to the blinding light of the hospital, and she is really there, bending over my bed. Her face twists into a smile and she whispers `` Thank God.''
|
[ WP ] In 750 words or less , tell a story from the perspective of a Greek God or Goddess , try not to reveal which one until the end .
| “ Ma ’ am? ”
“ Hmm? ”
I looked up, as if waking from a dream, to find a young man gazing at me inquisitively. He was wearing a green apron, marking him as a worker in the produce department.
“ Can I help you? ” He was blond, handsome. He seemed kind. Patient. Were I a few years younger...
“ Oh, ” I said, my cheeks flushing a rosy pink. “ No, thank you. ”
He smiled. “ Let me know if you need anything. ”
I smiled back, still blushing. “ Thank you. I will. ” He walked away and I watched him go. After a moment I looked back at what had so captured my attention.
It was a tomato, still clutched firmly but gently in my right hand, held up so I could examine it more closely. I had become lost in its intricate details, minutia often overlooked by other consumers. This particular specimen had bothered me when I realized it was too firm, too pale. Not ripe, and never would be. A sad tomato.
I suddenly felt very foolish and decided it was time to leave. I hurriedly finished the rest of my shopping and headed for the checkout. After loading the bounty into the trunk of my four-door, I drove home. There were no other cars yet. Strange, since my cousin Henry was usually early.
Opening the trunk, I loaded up with the first of the groceries and headed for the kitchen. I set the bags down near the fridge and checked the machine for messages. There was one. I let it play while I poured myself a glass of wine.
“ Hey mom, ” it said. My daughter, Priss. Bad news, if she ’ s calling. She never calls. “ It looks like we won ’ t be able to make it for Thanksgiving again this year. I won ’ t make excuses this time, but I think you know the reason. Give my love to the family. And tell dad to knock it off with that creepy shit. My friends are sick of it. Happy Thanksgiving! ” Beep.
My cheeks were hot. I didn ’ t realize it, but my fists clenched and unclenched at my sides. I yanked the phone up and dialed her number. She answered quickly.
“ Hi, mom, ” she said, with a discernible sigh. “ How are you? ”
I wasn ’ t interested in small talk or bullshit. “ What do you mean you won ’ t be here? You have to be here! ” I don ’ t know why I even try, really. It ’ s always the same with her.
“ You know I ’ m going to Harold ’ s for dinner. We go through this every year, mom. Why can ’ t you just accept it? ”
Furious, I slammed the telephone back into the receiver. Probably not a good idea. I could feel the tears in my eyes, and knew my daughter would be heartbroken on the other end. I knew she had no real choice in the matter. Harold was a controlling man, and always found a way to get Priss to do what he wanted.
I snatched the glass of wine off the counter and took a long drink, nearly emptying it before I had to gasp for breath. I stared across the room, holding the glass in my hand as the liquid swished about. The weight felt good. I focused on it, using it to distract from my thoughts on the situation.
I walked as if in a trance toward the window and peered out. The leaves were falling faster now, and the grass was nearly covered in a motley of yellow, orange, and red. I drank down the last sip of wine and gazed bitterly over my withering garden. I wondered if, for all my toil, there was even any point. A tear slipped out of my eye and down my cheek, but I let it fall.
Outside, the first snowflakes of the year drifted gently down to their final resting place upon the ground. Harbingers of the winter to come. Inherently pure, yet they brought about the slow death of so much. Innocuous, innocent. A white death that coated every surface in a suffocating sheet of icy rapture.
I blinked and another tear ran down my cheek. I blinked a few more times, coming back to myself, and wiped the tears away. Turning back to the kitchen, I uncorked another bottle to refill my glass. Life goes on, as they say. And I still had a cornucopia of food to prepare.
--
Decided to go the *American Gods* route with this one. Hope you like it!
|
[ WP ] Once in a blue moon , a traveler will arrive to share a campfire .
| The campfire popped again, little embers rising into the night. The pot of soup was still cooking, held over the fire by a few wooden sticks in the right places. The chill was kept away for now.
Shadows danced on the edge of the light. Garret remembered his father telling him that those shadows were the souls of the dead, hungry for warmth yet never receiving. The night was their time, and we were stealing it with our flame.
As many youths did, Garret had left home to adventure, leaving the old man alone. Maybe he was making his own supper by a roaring fireplace.
He tested the soup. Still too cold.
The shadows were distracting him. One of them seemed to grow and shrink more than the others, encroaching onto the bright patch in the dark.
Maybe it was just hungry.
But as he watched, the shadow extended. The light seemed to flee as the shape changed, clawing a foothold onto a place it did not belong.
By the time the soup was ready, the dark patch had taken a new form. The shape of a man, arms and legs, standing on the rim of dark.
Looks like he would be entertaining a Traveler tonight.
|
[ WP ] We live in a world where parents are allowed to `` abort '' their children up until the point they reach the age of 18 . Your 18th birthday is 1 month away
| The Judge leans forward in his chair, and lifts his gavel.
`` Perhaps it is better this way, Mr. Daniels.''
Without even thinking, I throw myself out of my seat and slam my fists against the table in front of me.
`` PLEASE!!!''
The judge is shaken, but only for a moment.
`` Boy. Feel grateful that I took the five minutes out of my life to listen to your frivolous case. This court has not carried out a trial for a disrespectful minor, and it never will. Dismissed!''
His gavel strikes, and it was over. The court system failed me. I only had a month now, if even at that. My parents grabbed me by my right arm and dragged me to their car. No words from either of them. The ride home was quiet, save for the radio broadcast.
*'' Should the Abortion Act of 2015 be repealed? We have a caller on the line who feels strongly about the subject. *
Maybe this caller had some sense in his or her mind. Maybe they were a politician who could repeal it! Maybe I still had a chance!
*'' Children these days. None of them are good! Thieves. Liars. Cheats! These terms describe all of them! Those that make it to eighteen should feel lucky that their parents were fools! We should kill all of them and start fresh, I'd say! This act has done nothing but good. Those who deny its benefits should be aborted along with those brats! `` *
Maybe it really was over. My life had so much promise, so much potential. If it was a book, there would be dozens of subplots. My friends, my love interest, a book I was going to write... perhaps that woman was right. I've done nothing but trouble these past seventeen years and eleven months. Maybe I should die.
Regardless of whether or not I deserved this, I resolved to stay strong..or at least pretend to. I sat up in my seat and looked forward towards the street in front of me.
I was almost home.
Home would be where I die.
|
[ WP ] Bob does n't realise he 's a robot until he fails a captcha five times in a row .
| -- -
Access denied.
`` Hey, um, Larry.''
`` What's up, Bob?''
`` I ca n't get into my account anymore after IT installed this new'prove you're not a robot' captcha device thing.''
`` Not again,'' moaned George from the back.
`` What?'' said Bob.
Larry stood up. `` Guys, gals, I think it's time. Everyone to the conference room please.''
Bob's co-workers collectively sighed, got up from their chairs, and strolled over to the conference room, whispering amongst themselves along the way. Bob tagged behind, looking like he was hit by a Confundus charm.
The workers took their usual seats along the table, with Larry sitting at the head.
`` Bob, I believe in honesty and straightforwardness, so I'm just going to go out and say it. No one here cares that you're a robot.''
`` Wait, wha-''
`` Seriously dude, we're sick of hearing about it.'' said Dave, who was in the middle of a game of Temple Run. `` It's all the time with you, man. It never ends.''
`` And it's such a subtle brag. At least R-X29 is direct about it.'' said Josephina.
`` Beep, beep,'' beeped R-X29.
`` You do it so smugly. Ugh, I wan na throw up.''
`` What the f-''
`` Yeah, like take right now for instance.'I ca n't log-in, guys; this captcha thing is telling me I might be a robot, guys. Did you know that I'm a robot, guys?''' said George mockingly. `` Like, just shut up man!''
`` Is this a joke?'' said Bob.
`` No, Bob. It's not a joke, `` said Larry, with a serious look on his face. `` We do n't want to hear it anymore. We get it; you're a robot. Cool. You're better than us. Happy? You do n't need to keep reminding everyone.''
`` What the fuck are you guys on about? I'm not a ro-.''
`` Uh, get over yourself,'' said Josephina.
`` Alright guys, everyone back to work. I think he got the message,'' said Larry.
They all filed out of the conference room, including Bob, who headed over to his desk even more confused than before. The moment he sat down, someone called and his ringtone went off.
`` *Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. * *Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto. *''
`` I'M GON NA FUCKING KILL HIM!'' cried George.
-- -
Edit: Edited it a bit to make it more clear.
|
[ OT ] Writing Workshop # 32 : Breaking Your Barriers # 6 : Emotions
| `` It's been a while.''
`` Yeah, I guess it has.'' I curl my fingers tightly into fists and squeeze. My nails dig into my palms.
`` Been busy?'' she looks at me sideways, glancing between long strands of her golden blonde hair.
`` Yeah with work, you?''
She shrugs. `` You know how it is.'' I see her playing with her ring, twisting it around and around. Stone up, stone down. Stone up. Stone down.
`` I see your married now.'' I probably should congratulate her. It's what you're supposed to do.
`` Yeah, I guess I am.'' she stops fiddling with the ring and covers it with her hand. Looking up at me she smiles nervously.
I still ca n't congratulate her, though. `` When?''
`` About a year ago.'' She's biting her lip now. In her eyes, I catch a glimpse of something. Regret?
I open my mouth, but words fail me. Instead, I just sit there next to her. In silence.
`` Sorry.'' she finally says. The word tumbles out of her mouth like a pea escaping a senior's shaky spoon. `` I -- I do n't think I ever told you that.''
`` No. You did n't.''
`` Did you -- miss me? Like -- at all?'' She sweeps her hair behind her ear and looks me in the eye now. She's searching for something in my response.
I want to feel cold. I want to just look at her with detached emotionless objectivity, but I ca n't. `` Of course.'' My throat catches and begins to ache.
`` I -- I missed you. You know?''
`` It's for the best,'' I lie.
`` Is it?''
I look at her, then I look down at the child on her lap, `` Yeah, I think so.'' The child looks up at me and gurgles. `` Does he know?''
She shakes her head subtly but does n't respond out loud.
`` Will you ever tell him?''
She looks at me now, for the first time. Her eyes glisten as tears begin to form. She shakes her head.
`` What's his name?'' I nod at the child.
She wipes a tear away, `` Christian'' she manages to say.
Somehow that makes it harder. I look at my phone, `` I better get going, I've got a meeting.'' Standing I look back at her, I do miss her. Every bit of her. Every molecule of my being wants to be with her, but I smile, `` See you around I guess Sarah.''
`` Christina!'' she stands suddenly, the child in her arms, tears running down her face now. `` Please do n't go.''
`` You made your choice Sarah.'' I lean over and kiss her wet salty cheek. `` Goodbye.''
|
[ WP ] Scientist finally developed a way to store computer data in stone . This leads to another discovery : all ancient cultures did the same in their greatest monuments .
| All eyes were fixed, unblinking, on the monitor. Slowly, the long cable - embedded in the ancient rock of Stonehenge - worked its arcane techno-magics and began extracting information.
This was not the first time the researchers had employed this technique - no, many other ancient sites had proven interesting and full of data. That stone itself might hold binary data was a controversial proposal at first, especially given the circumstances surrounding the discovery - but the limitless unhinged inventiveness granted by alcohol had once again pulled through for science. Stonehenge was different - not least because it had captured the hearts and minds of the British for centuries, but also because it was immeasurably ancient, and perhaps held the most obscure and eldritch of the elder-secrets now known to be embedded within ancient monoliths.
Eagerly, the professors awaited. Before long, the data began to print on the screen in luminous green font, letter by letter:
`` vercingetorix is a r8 nob''
|
[ WP ] Death is an actual person that comes by when someone dies .
| Julie looked out over the parking lot from the window, the rain blurring her vision. The downpour of water outside seemed to reflect her mood.
*How will he get here? Does he drive? Walk? With so many people in the world, he could be late. *
Past the parking lot and over the tops of the neighboring buildings, she saw a flash of lightning. One. Two. Three. The boom of thunder reached her. Surely he was faster than the speed of sound. He *was* late.
Turning, Julie looked over her shoulder at the door of her dark apartment. It stood in silence, a mute observer to her anguish. She closed her eyes. Fifteen minutes ago. Only fifteen minutes. Her hands were still shaking.
She slowly stepped away from the window and made her way to the door. She stopped halfway, at the entrance to the hall leading to the rest of the apartment. Julie's eyes moved down the darkened hallway, past the door to the bathroom and Michael's studio to the door to their bedroom at the far end. It was still slightly ajar from when she had come stumbling out, screaming.
She had always heard that *he* came with a polite knock if anyone else was present, right on time. Dad had told her about the time he had shown up at the scene of the accident when her mother had died. He had refused to offer details.
`` You'll see him soon enough, someday. Everyone does. Forget about it until then.'' He had said bluntly, and that was the end of the discussion.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Julie wiped at her tear-streaked face with the heel of her hand. Her face was sticky. She did n't want to think about why. An image of Michael holding the pistol to the side of his head came to her mind.
`` No.'' she whispered. That had to be why he was late. Michael was n't really gone. It had to be a trick, one of Michael's dumb jokes that he had always pulled. But he did n't joke much anymore. He had changed in the past year, ever since he had left the hospital. And now...
There was a sharp rap on the door. Three knocks. Julie's breath caught in her throat. She heard another rumble of thunder. She did n't move. The knocks came again, more insistently. Swallowing, she stepped forward, her hand hovering over the doorknob.
`` Who... who is it?'' she called, her voice hoarse. There was a pause, as though the visitor was considering their response.
`` You know who it is.'' A man's voice finally answered. Julie froze, her hand now on the doorknob. She had n't expected a response. A part of her had hoped it was the landlord, or her friend Diane come to visit.
The knob slowly turned in her hand. There was the click of the latch as Julie pulled the door open. She saw him. Was it him?
Her first thought was that the man standing before her would n't have looked out of place at a board meeting for some big name company. He seemed to be a man in his sixties, wearing a well-tailored black suit and tie, hands clasped in front of him. His hair was graying at the temples, with a scattering of salt-and-pepper coloring across his neatly-trimmed beard.
The man smiled politely as Julie stood in the doorway, her confusion etched across her face.
`` May I come in, Miss Sanders?'' He asked.
`` Are you him?'' Julie asked, her voice a whisper. `` You came for... For Michael?'' The man nodded gravely.
Julie stepped back from the doorway, holding the door open so the man could enter. He stepped inside, giving her a small smile. Moving across the apartment, he pulled out a chair at the dining table.
`` May I?'' He asked. Julie nodded, still standing stiffly by the door. The man sat down, folding his hands in front of him as he regarded her.
`` Would you like something to drink?'' Julie asked. Color rose to her cheeks as she realized what she had said. She felt self-conscious, unsure of the protocol. What did one say to Death? The man chuckled and shook his head.
`` Before I begin my business, I would like to speak with you a moment. Please, sit down.'' He indicated the chair across from him. Julie hesitated, then moved closer and sat down. The man regarded her for a moment, his dark eyes taking in the blood that had sprayed across her face and shirt, as well as her wide eyes and trembling hands.
`` I do n't suppose introductions are needed, Miss Sanders, but I'm a creature of habit. I am Death. I have come to guide Michael to the afterlife.''
Julie said nothing. She was n't entirely sure what to say. Her eyes could n't meet his, so she instead stared at her hands, clenching them into fists to stop their shaking.
`` Why did he do it?'' She whispered. Death sighed, tapping a finger on the table.
`` Michael was a good man with a bad curse.'' He said sadly. `` He never truly recovered from his injury, as I'm sure you know. A head wound that severe usually has long-lasting repercussions. Michael's were somewhat... unique. He saw things that no one else could see, and it drove him to suicide.''
Again, Julie was silent. Michael had never told her what was wrong. Whenever she had asked what was bothering him, he had always given some excuse to push her away. But after his return from the hospital, he had become a shut-in. He never wanted to see anyone but her. When she had suggested her father might come over to visit, he had become angrier than she had ever seen him. It had escalated until this morning, when he had pulled the gun out of the dresser drawer...
`` I'm sorry, Miss Sanders.'' Death said quietly. `` I know better than anyone what it is like to lose someone you love. I can assure you that his pain is over. When I leave here today, he will be at peace.''
A fresh tear slid down Julie's cheek. `` Will... Will I see him again?'' Death leaned back in his chair with a shrug.
`` I'm afraid I do n't know. I come to those who have died and take them to the entrance of the afterlife. I can not pass through that door, so I do n't have any knowledge of what lies beyond it. But it would be a cruel world indeed if those we meet in life could never see us again afterwards.''
`` The world is cruel.'' Julie whispered. She raised her eyes, meeting his gaze. `` If his pain ends when you leave... Why have n't you taken him yet?'' Death looked at her sadly.
`` Sometimes... When someone has lost someone they love, they resolve to... follow them. You see, I did not just come for Michael. I have come for you as well.''
Julie sat, still as stone, hands still folded on the table in front of her. She had hoped that the cut had n't been deep enough. That her wild moment of grief would have no cost. She squeezed her eyes shut again, bowing her head. Blood dripped onto the table from the ugly gashes on her wrists. Her hands were red. She began shaking again.
Death stood up and moved around the table. He knelt next to her, looking into her face. One of his hands rested over hers.
`` I promise you that I am not as cruel as the world would make you believe.'' He said kindly. `` Your passing will be mourned, yes. But all lives end. Even stars go out.'' He rose, patting Julie on the shoulder. His hand seemed to be unstained by her blood. Julie heard him walking down the hall to the bedroom. She thought she heard him speaking quietly to someone. After a time, his footsteps padded back down the hall.
`` Miss Sanders. It is time.'' Julie slowly stood up from the table, leaving a smear of blood behind. She took a deep breath and turned to face Death. He stood as he had when she had first seen him, legs shoulder width apart, hands clasped in front of him. He raised one of his hands toward her, asking her to take it.
She did.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
This is a continuation of the story I wrote yesterday. People wanted an ending, so I wrote one with a different prompt.
[ Link ] ( http: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/23rsl6/wp_you_suddenly_gain_the_ability_to_view_other/ch01czz? context=3 )
|
[ WP ] 2350 A.D. , we are living peacefully in two solar systems . A science organisation finds evidence that a terrifying alien empire will encounter us in 50 years . They must engineer a false flag operation to get the two systems to war with each other to galvanise our weapons and defenses
| This is Captain Marshall reporting to Alpha Omega. We have made it to mission objective red star. I repeat, this is Captain Marshall from the SS2 Cecilia, we have made it to the mission objective red star. Waiting for orders.
A powerful stern voice came on the receptor `` This is Alpha Omega, commence operation red star, launch the missiles captain.''
Captain Marshall leaned back in his seat. The billions of lives that will be lost, the lives that will need to restart, the lives that will migrate to SS2 in hopes of survival and revenge....
The stern voice reappears on the intercom `` Proceed with launch Captain, you know whats at stake''
His palms sweaty, eyes heavy, and with a nod to weapons control, they launch the anti-matter missiles. Tears run down the Captain's face while he watches the barrage of missiles soar like shooting stars of death. Then the Captain momentarily gets a hold of himself and says into the intercom, `` Operation Red Star Complete, may the gods have mercy on us all.''
|
[ WP ] What if tattoos just randomly appeared on our skin at key points in our lives and we had to figure out what they meant for ourselves .
| `` Oh, you've got to be shitting me! Seriously, what am I destined to go to art school and tell people I'm listening to some French avant-garde band?!'' She screamed in semi serious anger.
Julia looked down at her new tattoo, truthfully her first tattoo, with dismay. It did n't suit her at all. She knew a few people who did n't like their first tattoos to this day, and she knew so many more who did n't like their tattoos when they first showed up.
She was a practical girl, especially so for her age.
*I'll sit on it. I might like it later. And nobody knows how this stuff works, sometimes they show up early, sometimes they show up late. There was that story about the baby born with prison tats on the news last month*
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
`` Tom. It's Harrison, from High School?''
His voice was morose and tinged with a fear. He did not make this call for a happy reason.
`` Yeah, listen man, a few years back we hung out with some of the same people and you offered to take me to the gym, help me get started.''
...
He spoke with query in his voice, not really wanting to ask this man he had n't spoken to in years for a favor he did n't deserve, but needing to all the same.
`` Yeah, yeah. So, I was wondering if I could still take you up on that?''
...
`` It's just that I got my first tattoo today, and I've been looking into the significance of it, and it does n't look good.''
...
`` No, like the work itself is alright, especially considering what it is, but the message of it is not what I was hoping for, ya know?
...
`` Thanks, man. I really appreciate this.''
-- -- -
Julia told Karen she'd meet her at the Starbucks, on 5th and Faroan. Karen was off the rails when Julia told her she'd gotten her tattoo while she was sleeping last night. She'd told her she could n't wait to see, literally could n't - had to meet today.
Julia sat across the table from Karen who was `` laughing her fucking ass off''.
`` You got a fucking Koi fish, Jules! A goddamn Koi fish! Maybe you'll settle down, have kids, teach their soccer team, become `` not religious, but spiritual''! Oh, god. I'm sorry Jules, I really am, but this is too good a pitch not to swing.''
-- -- -- -
Harrison showed up wearing a long sleeved Underarmour shirt, in July. He did n't need that kind of attention. He was probably safe here, in America, but he was n't trying to take any chances.
Tom took him through the basics of his workout plan.
They did a quick cardio warmup, then focused on legs. Harrison was a little lost, something about a 2/3 split and core lifts. He did n't know what working out his legs had to do with his core, or why he needed a good core. He thought women did that core stuff, like kegels or something?
Finally, he knew it would come sooner or later, Tom asked him.
`` So what is it man, how bad can it be that you think you need to suddenly get in shape overnight and become some sort of action hero?''
`` Well...'' He hesitated to take his shirt off, but he felt it'd get the gravity of it all across a little better.
`` I have n't figured out what exactly they all mean yet, but they're Russian prison tattoos. Most of them can have several meanings from what I've read, but I'm either going to serve quite a bit of prison time or I'm going to go to prison quite a few times - that's the churches here with all the spires. The cross means I'll do all my time.''
Tom's jaw hit the floor. Harrison was the most mild mannered, scrawniest, nerdiest guy he'd ever known.
`` This one, the cats, means I'll work in a gang of thieves. The Madonna here is supposed to mean `` My hands are clean before my friends.'' That means I never rat anybody out. So far, none of them are bad. I mean, I guess all prison tattoos are bad, but what I mean is none of them are tattoos you're forced to get for being a snitch, or a child molester or something. So... yeah, I guess I kind of want to get in shape if I'm headed to a literal Gulag...''
He did n't say anything about the stars on his chest or knees, the ones that meant he'd be of status and import and that he bowed to no man. He did n't know what to make of them even less than he did of the ones that said he would be a career criminal, but he did n't want to be humiliated right now at Tom's disbelief.
`` Well shit man, at least you'll get to see the world?''
-- -- -
I thought this prompt was a really cool idea, but I feel like my execution sort of fell flat. I hope somebody else can get a good one done, I'm really excited to read for this one.
|
[ WP ] Everyone has a superpower based on the topography of where they were born ( IE : Mountains , deserts , etc. ) . You are the first person to be born in space .
| A wielder of the void, someone who could grasp the vast blackness that blanketed our world and sculpt it into death and ruin, life and order. A god with ink footsteps and the voice of endless emptiness, powerful and cruel as the stars. A tool that would bring the lowly tribes of Sedzu out from the cracks of the mountains and into the glorious prosperity of the plains. That is what the elders dreamt when they sat in solemn council and birthed the idea to assault the stars. That is what the earthworkers labored for, backs bent and cracking, as they pulled rock and stone to unimaginable heights. That is what my mother, strongest of their profession, gambled her life for, propelled at terrifying speed to the height of our looming spire at the moment of my birth by an earthwrought platform and then guiding the collapse of the mighty tower clutching a babe still wet with afterbirth.
Instead they got me, Quddus Piliaser, master of making things float. I gesture, I speak the ancient words to channel power, and simple as you please I can make a stool or a goat or, on a good day, my father become lighter than air.
Unfortunately this sudden weightlessness only lasts a moment. There have been some bad falls, such as when Psotu broke his arm after floating off a tall pine's branches. Or when my father's morning soup spilt over his red-embroidered trading jacket just before an important trip to Geedin village. Oppeca's flute, Mawarna's sled, and Tifiet's grapples have all be broken, repaired, and broken again by the sudden outbursts of my talent.
The shame would not be so great if I were useful.
That is why I have chosen to go to the prairies. They are rich and ripe with wheat, lazy and happy with their sunpower and rainmagic. It is not uncommon for an earther to walk among them, for someone to betray the blood for steady harvests and calm weather. I can do that easily, but I will not betray the blood.
I, Quddus Piliaser, will bring the plains back to my people and they will sing my praises with good grain and fat meat between their teeth.
|
[ WP ] A married couple has a problem , every time the man kisses the woman , she explodes , and then a day later she reforms like nothing happened .
| `` OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY WIFE, YOU SICK FUCKS?!'' Mr. Sherman screamed.
The poor doctor was probably only a couple years out of school, he noted with a twinge of guilt.
`` Th-that drug is the industry standard for that sort of inflammation, sir. If your w-wife had an allergic reaction, she should've disclosed --''
`` ALLERGIC REACTION?! I WAS JUST HOLDING MY WIFE AND SHE JUST *COMBUST*, IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL AN ALLERGIC REACTION?!''
`` Do n't say anything else, Doctor. In fact, it's best you just leave,'' said the crisply suited woman leading the pack of attorneys as they strode into the ward. The hospital's legal team.
`` Sir, we understand you're distraught,'' she continued. `` Please, take as much time as you need before we discuss a few legal and practical logistics surrounding this... incident.''
`` I'm calling my lawyer. Right now. You killed my wife. You people killed my wife.''
The administrative staff who had quietly shuffled into the room blanched.
The following week, Mr. Sherman sat at his kitchen table, calmly discussing how to wire transfer a multimillion dollar settlement with a Swiss banker. Across from him, Mrs. Sherman hummed absently to herself as she sketched out an itinerary of a sailing tour of South America.
Mr. Sherman hung up the phone and gazed fondly at his wife.
`` Dear, I love you.''
Mrs. Sherman smiled. `` I love you too, Henry.''
`` Do you have any plans for the rest of today?''
`` No dear, go ahead. Just take off your good shirt, and I better not find any trace viscera on the walls tomorrow.''
Mr. Sherman did so. Then he rounded the table and kissed his wife.
|
[ WP ] Knowing it will save their life , you have to convince the person you love to kill you .
| *'' Sweetie, look at mommy. `` *
I gripped his shoulders tightly and gently lifted his chin up towards my face. `` I want you to know just how much I love you, okay? You make me *so* proud.''
My nose twitched as I held back tears. It was so hard saying goodbye to my son.
I would never have children again, never see his smile, never walk him to school, celebrate his birthday... It was so *hard*.
A tear rolled down my cheek. I was running out of time. `` Go find Mr. Baldwin sweetie. He's gon na take you for a walk okay?''
I could see his own nose twitch and his eyes well up. `` You're not gon na come back, are you momma?''
My lips twitched and I knelt down and hugged him as tight as I could, `` I'm sorry sweetie, I ca n't. But I'll see you again in Paradise.''
`` Promise?''
`` I promise.''
He walked away, and I found my husband and held his hand, nodding at him. `` It's time...''
We walked into the woods, not too far in, just in case we ran into any walkers.
My husband held a pistol firmly in his hand, tears streaming down my face.
`` Why do I have to do this?''
`` I'm sorry sweetheart, but it has to be you. Please.''
He sighed, squeezing my hand as we approached the clearing we had chosen. He had found wildflowers and daisies and picked roses from bushes in the last town we were in and made a sort of pallet out of them, the roses lining the outside. I turned to him and pulled him close, sobbing into his chest. I could n't kiss him goodbye for fear of transferring he virus to him.
`` Angie?''
I sniffled, `` Yes?''
`` I got you something special...''
He knelt down behind a tree and pulled up a single lily, my favorite flower, and handed it to me. I took a sweet sniff of it, tears streaming down my cheeks. I clutched it to my chest, it was the sweetest gift I'd gotten since the world went to hell.
`` Thank you my love.''
He kissed the top of my head and I sighed. `` Are you ready?''
`` I do n't want to be.'' He replied solemnly.
I stood at the edge of the flowerbed he had made for me, folding my hands over each other and clutching the lily to my chest.
`` Do n't forget it has to be in the head...'' I muttered softly, as he lifted the pistol, choking back tears before pulling the trigger.
In nanoseconds, I was gone, falling back onto my flowery grave bed, my eyes fluttering shut as I collapsed to the ground.
*I will love you always. *
|
[ WP ] At the end of the apocalypse , Death visits the last living being in the universe .
| As I glided through the barren wasteland that used to be North America, I heard something. It was n't another building collapsing in the distance, and it was n't the trees rustling in the wind. They all died of the radiation months ago. No. It was a life. A human life, my favorite type to take. I felt excitement and sadness. This was to be my final task. My final reaping. It's how I always imagined it felt to write your last report before you retire, or how a runner feels as he crosses the line in 1st on his last race. But my career has been far longer and darker. Most view me as the ultimate evil, but to the contrary I am the ultimate good. I end suffering and send all good men home and all bad men to the eternal prison they had earned a bed. As I neared the source of the sound, I saw the ground shift a little. An underground bunker, what an amusing way to keep me at bay. He must have ran out of food. As he opened the door to his sanctuary I revealed myself. I do n't usually do that but it's my last time, so why not. He stares into where my eyes would be. He nods at me and I nod back. He is such a good man, but it is time we both went home. We neared each other slowly, we both knew his significance. He asked if it was time and I slowly nodded. He took my hand and we both were gently lifted upwards. Finally. Retirement. Now I, the bringer of peace to so many, could rest in peace myself. My job is finished.
This is my first post here so I am open to criticism, let me know what you think!
|
[ WP ] You are diagnosed with cancer and have 10 days to live . The devil makes you a deal : He will give you a day of life for every bad deed you commit , but take away a day of life for every good deed you commit .
| My doctor leaves me alone in the hospital room. Alone with my thoughts. Alone with my misery. I hang my head. *Ten days... *
`` That's not an awful lot of time.''
I whip around wildly toward the source of the voice, no one had been in the room with me-
`` I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal.''
I gawk at the man in the room with me. He's conventionally attractive, but there's something off about his smile, too many teeth, too sharp. He jovially extends a hand to me.
`` What kind of deal?'' I ask warily.
`` You need help, I need help, we can scratch each other's back. You're so young, I know you're not ready to die.''
`` And just who are you to be able to promise something like this to me?''
`` Oh, kid. Have n't you guessed?'' His grin grows wider. I can feel heat rolling off of him in waves, despite the fact that we're standing at least five feet apart. A faint sulfury smell hangs in the air.
I think I might have some idea of who the stranger is now. He laughs, like he's heard the conclusion I mentally came to. Hell, maybe he *did. *
`` So what do you say, kid?''
`` I'm not going to just promise myself to you without knowing what you want!''
He stares at me, thoughtful, as if looking for the right words to say.
`` I want you to spread as much strife and evil throughout this world as you can. Any deed, big or small, will earn you a day of life. It could be as simple as stealing a candy bar or as complex as murdering someone.''
I stand and consider his words for a moment. Any deed? Could I steal a candy bar every day and live a long and healthy life? Or would he eventually want me to move on to bigger things?
`` Tell you what- I'll even heal the cancer so those extra days are n't agonizing.''
I- I had n't even thought about the cancer. The pain in my stomach was already almost unbearable. I do n't think I'd want to live more than ten days if the pain was like this or worse every day.
`` So that's all you want? For me to just do something generally evil every day?''
`` Weeeeell... Any actually *good* deed that you committed would counteract your evil deeds in the cosmic balance of things. So I would take away a day from you for the good deeds. Other than that, yes. I wo n't even ask you for specific favors.''
`` What about neutral things?''
He quirks an eyebrow.
`` Neutral things?''
`` I dunno, like things that benefit me, like putting the dishes away or something. You wo n't automatically count those as good?''
`` Not unless they benefit someone else in the process.''
`` But how can I *know* that someone else wo n't benefit? The butterfly effect, man, I put my dishes away and somewhere across the world, someone wins the lottery-''
`` Kid, do n't hurt yourself. It does n't need to be thought about that hard. *I'm* not thinking about it that hard. Do we have a deal or not? I have places to go, people to see.''
He's beginning to sound agitated. I make my decision quickly and step forward.
`` Deal.'' I say as I grasp his hand and shake it firmly. His grin grows impossibly wider and I struggle not to scream as he catches fire and disappears.
*I can do this... *
I take a deep breath. The distension it produces in my abdomen does n't hurt the way it hurt thirty minutes ago. I look to my bedside table and see a glass of water sitting there. Impulsively, I bat it off the table. Being styrofoam, it does n't break, but water does go everywhere. It might be mental, but I think the pain in my stomach has faded even further now.
Something pops up in my vision and I bat at it instinctively, squinting. My hand connects with nothing and I open my eyes fully to look at it better. In the bottom right corner of my field of view, a small `` 11'' has appeared. Faint laughter rings in my head. I blink several times, hard, but it does n't go away.
The doctor chooses this moment to walk back in. He catches me blinking and squinting oddly and eyes me.
`` Are you doing alright? I know it's a lot to take in...''
`` Yeah, um, actually I was wondering if I had to stay in the hospital or if I was allowed to go home.''
`` Usually, we let terminal patients go home and we help them arrange hospice care.''
`` What if I do n't want hospice?''
The doctor frowns. `` Then your family would have to oversee your care for your last days.''
`` Alright. Let's go with that.''
A few conversations and some paperwork later and I'm ready to go and live anew.
As I'm leaving the hospital, a thought occurs to me. What if I do something that benefits a bunch of people at once? What happens if my counter hits zero? Do I drop dead instantly? Can I rack up days quickly or is there some imposed limit, like those free to play games every idiot on Facebook keeps inviting me to sign up to?
I take a shaky breath as I walk to my car. A woman walks past me, probably caught up in her own musings.
`` Those shoes are incredibly ugly.'' I call out to her without stopping.
`` Excuse me?!''
`` You heard me.''
As I climb into my car, I notice that my counter now says `` 15.'' I frown, confused.
`` That one was just petty. I like you, kid.''
The man from earlier sprawls comfortably in the passenger's seat. I visibly startle, and he chuckles.
`` Not to mention that they *were* actually ugly. I mean, who wears alligator skin any more? Magenta alligator skin at that!''
I shake my head at him as we drive off. He's still chuckling to himself.
`` Alright, alright, I'll leave. It was just -haha- I just look forward to seeing what you do next.''
He disappears with an odd sucking sound this time, sans fire.
*I... I think I can live with this. *
|
[ WP ] You wake up to find yourself transformed into an animal .
| *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
The alarm rang to announce another day of work and drudgery. I rolled around in my blanket cocoon, trying to get my arms free to turn off this incessant noise splitting the silence of the morning.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
I finally get one of my arms out and am surprised to find that despite it being winter, my arm is still warm in the usual chilly air outside of my bed.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
I lazily and sleepily stab in the darkness at the shrieking offender but my hand misses the mark each time. I must have rolled over in the night to Angela's side of the... i mean... the other side of the bed...
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
I try to sit up in bed and that is when I realize that not only do my knees bend the wrong way but that I am actually covered in fur.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
`` Bark!'' I exclame. Wait!? What!?! What the fuck is happening to me!??!
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
`` SHUT YOUR FUCKING ALARM OFF TED!'' my neighbor yells through the paper thins walls of my'new' apartment.
`` BARK BARK BARK BARK'' I yell back, over the still shrilling alarm.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
`` IS THAT A FUCKING DOG! YOU ARE N'T ALOWD TO HAVE DOGS HERE MATE'' yells the neighbor while pounding on the wall.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
`` ROUGH!'' I yell back while walking over to the screeching alarm on my bedside table. I swear it has never been this loud before. I try to grab the clock but now that I lack opposable thumbs I just crash the whole bedside table over.
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BE
Thank fuck it turned off.
`` I'M TELLING THE LANDLADY ABOUT YOUR DOG, ASSHOLE'' Neigbordouch yells. I do n't care, there is something more important. I closed the door when I went to bed last night... It has a round knob. fuck.
|
[ WP ] A hush fell over the lab . Nobody knew how to respond to what they just discovered .
| There is of course a nameless fear lurking in the back of every young man ’ s mind. It is simply far more pronounced in some than others. I suppose those that suffer greatest are in fact afflicted with a sort of anxiety disorder and are able to quell their agony with Xanax and the like.
Yet the average person like me ( and if I were not average I would probably be the last to know ) is able to keep the prospect of professional and social ruin and destruction quietly at bay ninety nine percent of the time or more. Sure occasionally a intrusive thought jumps up and bites me.
I ’ ll be minding my own business, say on the way home from work and the devil will whisper in my ear “ but what if you did accidentally hit the accelerator and rear end the truck behind you ” followed, less than a heartbeat later by a very clear vision of what exactly would happen if that did occur.
I suppose Freud would say something about a death wish but as always I ’ m happy to quietly tuck it away as one of life ’ s great inconveniences.
And of course it ’ s not always a car accident, it can be an absurd highly unlikely offense given to a colleague, a text sent to the wrong person, a nonexistent conversation overheard. Our anxious minds invent these scenarios and test and tease is with our own imaginations.
Yet here I stood with the cold hard evidence that nightmares come true. We had all ( at least the males in the lab ) probably at one time or another imagined the same harsh, unforgiving reality. Professional and social disgrace.
It could happen to anyone really, or at least to those in my age bracket. Could have been me really. A misnamed file, an twitch of the hand resulting in the wrong click of a file.
But it did happen to Paul. And here we were a full two minutes after everyone ’ s outlook diligently alerted everyone to that most disgraceful of mistakes.
Freud would probably argue it was intentional, Paul will of course swear it was an accident. Human resources will if course point out that it won ’ t matter.
Everyone is staring at the same PowerPoint and we ’ re all speechless. Nobody knows how or why it happened but this was not the video any sane man would actually mean to attach to it.
|
[ WP ] Temporal Cosplay is a popular time-travel option , giving players the chance to experience their fantasy of participating in a real historical event . While visiting a particularly significant event in history one player begins to realise almost everyone else present is a cosplayer as well .
| History Classes were always my favourite, scince the TCP ( Temporal Cosplay Program ) was introduced at this school. As always, the Germans were leading in technology and teaching. It was always alot of preperation, though. The clothes had to be an almost perfect match, a fitting hairstyle, correct backstorys and good forged passports. Only students with good marks were allowed.
Our means of travel was a small black box with a display and some buttons, almost like a Nokia 3310. If somethign went wrong, it would instantly bring you back to your time with all changes you may have done undone.
This visit was a special one. We all entered the time aswell as the coordinates, in a short flash we were at the meeting point, a short walk and we were really there.
Berlin, Sportspalast 1940.
The Hall was crowded, yet everyone sat [ organized ] ( https: //upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Bundesarchiv_Bild_102-10391A, _Berlin, _Wahlversammlung_der_NSDAP_im_Sportpalast.jpg ). Swatiska Banners were hanging here and there.
The small man that looked almost like Charlie Chaplin stepped onto the podium and began his speech. From time to time I took notes on what Adolf Hitler said, my disguise as a reporter worked flawless.
Hitler finished his speech, people applauded and yelled `` Heil Hitler'' at the top of their lungs. It was our time to go.
I reached into my pocket for the TCP Device, my heart slipped into my pants, it just was n't there. I turned around only to be shocked once more:
Rows and rows of people threw what seemed to be TCP Devices to the ground, stomping them hard.
Even my teacher and classmates!
My friend Hans turned to my and whispered in my ear:'' Heil Hitler''
What none of them knew is that I was jewish...
/edit Muh Shekels: )
|
[ WP ] Bored , you take out your calculator and divide by zero . It outputs an answer and within minutes , SWAT cars are outside your house
| The little girl stood at the front of the class and coughed. Her teacher smiled and waved encouragingly. Taking heart, the girl launched into her Magnum Opus.
`` *What I did this summer* by Jenny Able, aged seven.'' She looked up and smiled at her classmates, who responded with the usual bored expression of those listening to other people's stories.
`` This summer, I found a calculator on the pavement outside my house. It was very fancy, and had a case and many buttons.''
`` I opened it and there were many flashing lights and buttons. I remembered a story Martin - my brother'' she clarified, to the relief of the class. They did n't need to listen to another tale about a name no-one knew. Maggie's had been the worst, especially when'Sally' had been chopped up and eaten without it being noted Sally was a chicken.
`` My brother told me that when you divide by zero, something magical happens. So I typed it in and pressed enter, but nothing seemed to happen.'' The class murmured; this seemed to be as bad as Blaize's story of when he found a penny and did n't pick it up.
`` But then!'' Jenny grinned as they leapt at her exclamation. `` A bunch of people turned up in heli- helicopters, and slid down ropes. They seemed confused when I explained they had come due to dividing by zero.'' She coughed, a sound that echoed in the enraptured classroom. *This* was more like it.
`` They stood around some more, and called out my Dad. Then some cars turned up and a tall man came over. He said he was the president, and thanked me for my service in finding his calculator, although he called it a football. He gave me a medal.'' Jenny reached into her top and pulled out the medal on a ribbon. Her smile grew as the class oohed at the sight of it.
`` After that, they left with the calculator. Then Dad took me for icecream, and I had three scoops!'' She concluded on the high point of the day. The teacher shook herself from the reverie of the tale.
`` Yes, thank you Jenny. Everyone give her a round of applause. Next up it's George. George?'' George sighed inwardly as he stood up. His story about his turtles was going to seem *very* boring after that.
|
[ WP ] Everyone on earth wants to know why you are such a terrible person . They do n't know you 're an angel trying to get to hell to kill satan .
| “ Why did you do it, son? ”
I held my head low. No reply.
“ Son, why did you call me here if you don ’ t want me to help you? ”
I stared at my leg, bouncing away my nervous energy. I couldn ’ t face him.
The old man sighed and closed the heavy book he had in front of him. “ I ’ m sorry, son, if you ’ re not willing to talk to me, I ’ m not going to stay. ” He motioned to the guard outside the cell, and with a noisy clanking, the guard began to fumble with his keys.
“ Please. ”
“ Excuse me? ”
“ Please. ” I looked up. “ I need you to understand. ”
He waved the guard away, then, after a moment ’ s pause, returned to the chair he had previously occupied. The dim fluorescent above his head threw his face into backlit shadow, but in it I could see the tired courage of a man who had spent the last twenty years eking out an existence on the horror of the everyday, of a man who had spent his entire career in the company of rapists, murderers, and psychopaths. And now me.
“ What is there to understand, son, if you refuse to speak? ” he said softly. I looked up at him, and his dark sockets stared back, black and unblinking.
“ I ’ m ashamed, Father. I ’ m ashamed of what I ’ ve done, but I know I ’ ve done it for the right reasons. ” I looked back to the ground. Those dark soulless sockets were too unnerving for long conversations.
“ And how can killing an innocent woman be done for the right reasons? ”
“ It tipped the scales against me. I needed that. ”
“ Yes, ” he said dryly. “ That ’ s what happens when you leave your fingerprints on the murder weapon. ” He opened the Bible he had with him, leafing through it as he awaited a response.
“ Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. ” The magic words poured out of me, silky and oily. I knew them well.
“ How long has it been since your last confession? ”
“ Beyond my recollection. ”
“ Proceed, Gabriel. ”
“ I killed a woman…Vanessa Albers was her name. ”
“ Yes, we ’ ve all been keeping up on the trial. News spreads fast in a town like this. ”
“ Yes…but I ’ m not proud of that. If there were any other way, I never would ’ ve killed her. ”
The old man paused and considered me for a second, before continuing, “ In the trial you never mentioned why you did it. The prosecution didn ’ t have to work terribly hard to prove you did it, they didn ’ t really need to find a motive. ”
“ Yes. ”
“ So why did you do it? ”
I looked up. Those dark pits stared back at me. “ It was my mission. I can promise you I ’ ve never regretted anything more. ”
“ And yet you did it anyway? ”
“ I understood what this entailed when I first undertook it. ”
“ And who gave you this mission? ”
`` Divine inspiration. ” My eyes returned to the floor.
The old man sighed. “ If you ’ re truly ashamed of what you did, we wouldn ’ t have to play these games. ”
“ As sorry as I am, my mission isn ’ t finished. ”
He scoffed. “ Your mission doesn ’ t have much time left, does it? In six hours you ’ ll be hanging by a rope in that courtyard outside, just like all the others. ”
“ Just another step in the right direction. ”
The old man stood up and motioned to the guard who waited dutifully outside. “ I ’ m done here. I can ’ t give confession to a madman. ” As the door swung open, he cast one final look in my direction. “ You have the name of an angel you know. ‘ God is my strength, ’ that ’ s what it means. Well God give you strength tomorrow morning, my son. You ’ ll need it till the bitter end. ” And with that, the door swung closed, and his footsteps retreated down the hall.
I smiled for the first time in a long time. Yes, I would need God ’ s strength tomorrow. I carefully reached below my mattress, retrieving the small, beaten book hidden there. I flipped to the verse on a folded page I had marked long ago:
“ And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
`` Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. ”
Tomorrow is the fateful day, the day the Devil falls.
|
[ WP ] A man who has superpowers when he hear music . The power depends on the song .
| https: //www.youtube.com/watch? v=SkMJ3R_9bFw ( strongly suggested adjunct listening )
It's cold and you're dressed warm for a walk. Trees on both sides of you makes it seem so buffered, silent. You're thankful for your headphones.
YES- it's this thing, this one, these guys!
Something about it grabs hold of you, the one instant feeling of losing control in a most gladdening way. In a short moment you contort with the beat. You move with such fluid and flail you feel animated. Your stagger becomes swagger, or jive, or steamroll, or whatever you feel, but either way, it's in pocket. You go, and go, and go and go and go, and then you feel the sweat making its way through pores under your jacket. Whatever was on your mind left with the first fleeting sax tutes. On and over you keep moving, you're in the middle of the street on a backroad, you're adjusted to the darkness, you're not yourself, no! you're everything that is yourself. It's just so! You ca n't help the grin, the full breathe, the stomps!
Oh man, man, here it goes, it's about to. Such a going!
A bite of something other, manifesting in rhythm that ca n't be beat. Ca n't ca n't ca n't ca n't ca n't be-beat. Provoked thoughts are n't weights but flippant gusts of wind. Faster, it's going faster, i feel it faster i think. Move *faste-*
You see lights up ahead, it's a car, yeah. Move to the other side, Stop dancing. Right now yeah, stop dancing. Headlights in your eyes. Stop dancing wo n't you? But why? For who? Why stop now? It's still fast, it's still going! Why should I stop? I should n't stop! I wo n't stop!
`` Oh gosh honey look at this guy. He's in the middle of lane. What is he doing? Oh gosh honey, he's a nut''
`` Probably thinks he's got superpowers''
|
[ WP ] Your SO just got home from work . Moments later they text saying they 'll be home late .
| There was some fumbling at the door. It was time for Jessica to get home. Sometimes I unlock the door but today I had n't bothered since I had been busy writing. It really does n't matter either way; she has a key. She continued to fumble with the door for a bit. Finally, she stopped and my phone vibrated. She must've lost her key again. I stopped my writing and got up to go to the door.
`` Hey sweetheart,'' I sang to her. She was looking gorgeous as usual. Actually, she looked a lot more gorgeous today than she usually did when she got home from work. Her makeup was completely perfect as opposed to the usual signs that she had either sweat or accidentally smudged it in a spot. Her facial expression was spot on though; it was indicative of true hatred for one's job. I opened my arms to give her a hug but she just walked in and shut the door. `` How'd you manage to lose your keys,'' I began; but the words were knocked right out of me as I was tackled to the floor.
`` Ok, human,'' seethed a voice that was not Jessica's, `` I'll make this as painless as I can.'' My phone went off and I looked over at it on the floor. Jessica's name was displayed in the center. The impostor answered and I was persuaded to say hello by something sharp against my throat.
`` Hello to you too, Mister I take too long to text back,'' came Jessica's sassy voice, `` I sent you a mess -- wait is that you I see coming down the hall?'' The impostor threw the phone across the room.
|
[ WP ] There is a demon that lives in the corner of your eye , which only you can see , and all it does is stare at you .
| **Transcript of NSA recording: Bathroom located at 111 Oak Terrace**
*Sound of door opening*
`` What are you going to watch me shit now too? Go right ahead mother fucker, I do n't care. I'm so sick of your shit today.''
*A few moments of silence, followed by grunts*
`` Are you still there? Jesus Christ, enough already! You are a sick bastard. Go away!''
*Sound of something being thrown and hitting the wall*
`` ARGH! I said fuck off!''
*Sounds of multiple objects being thrown*
`` Do n't think you can hide in the corner mother fucker! If you like poop so much then I'll give you some! Bombs away bitch!''
*More grunting sounds, followed by the sound of a zipper. Then a door slams. Rest of the recording is silent. *
**End of transcript. **
E: Fuck! I got beat to the shit joke. That will teach me to read the comments before posting.
|
[ WP ] You are a reporter who agrees to go to jail for 60 days for an article you are writing . When your time is up they wo n't let you leave and no one believes your story that you do n't belong .
| `` I need to speak with the Warden.''
`` Move away, inmate.''
`` Look, My name is Richard Hunt, I'm a journalist. I'm here for an article. I was meant to be released yesterday''
`` I said, Move away, Inmate. Last warning.''
`` Just get me the Warden, It's an emergency.''
`` One more word and I'll taze you to the floor.''
``...''
`` Good boy. Now move along.''
-- --
`` I need to speak to the Warden. I'm not meant to be in here any more. I was meant to be out 2 months ago''
`` Inmate Hunt, You incited a prison riot. You formed a gang and attacked other inmates. You became the leader or a drug trade ring. You're in here until your trial.''
`` It's for an article. The real side of prison life. Call my editor.''
`` Hunt, listen to my voice. You committed crimes. You're going''
`` Crimes? but it's for research purposes.''
`` Do n't interrupt me or I'll research what you look like after a beating.''
`` Sorry... Please just get the warden.''
`` No.''
-- --
`` Will I ever get to speak to the warden?''
`` It's kind of late now.''
`` I asked 8 months ago.''
`` Does n't matter, The warden does n't come down to Isolation.''
`` I should n't be here.''
`` You stabbed 8 inmates, 2 of them died.''
``... It was self defence.''
`` They were asleep.''
`` I took the advantage but they were going to attack me in the morning.''
`` I do n't care.''
`` Please. Just let the warden know.''
`` If you shout loud enough, he might hear you from his office.''
`` Really? how close is his office?''
`` It's about 2 floors up...''
`` That's pretty close.''
``... In a different building.''
`` Shit''
-- -
`` Ah... finally, Warden Warren, Please, I should have been released 2 years ago now. Please let me go.''
`` Inmate Hunt. You are guilty of the murder of 2 inmates and the attempted murder of a Guard.''
`` It was self-''
`` Please do n't say self defence.''
``...''
`` Please sit still. This is easier if you sit still''
`` But I should n't be here.''
`` This is exactly where you should be. Shitbag''
`` I'm a journalist for Daily News. I demand to be released!''
`` Shut this guy up... Flip the switch already.''
`` GAHH!''
``...''
``...''
`` That's better. Fetch the mortician.''
|
[ WP ] Make me sympathize with a Serial Killer
| The man walked into the house, talking a knife out of his backpack. He is fully covered, no skin shown but the rings around his mouth and eyes. The man takes a step forward. His hands are steady, his eyes focused. This is the 17th time he has taken the first step. The man takes another step forward. Just like the previous, his hands are steady, his eyes focused ahead. The man takes another step forward as he tries to remember the house that he is in. Of course, this though disappears as soon as it comes. The man takes another step forward and tells himself that the person does n't matter. He had prepared for this, coming up with responses whenever his body did n't want to kill.
The man is now in front of the door. He listens to see if they are awake, to which the answer is no. The man slowly opens the door and he sees a husband and wife. Of of them holding a gun, the other hiding under the other trying to hide under the bed. This had happened 3 times before, and so he knew what to do. 5 strides forward, one to the right, dodge the bullet, cut off a few fingers. Take the gun, unload it, throw it in the backpack. Both victims in shock, one crying in pain, the other crying of fear. The attacker regrets it for a moment, but only for a moment. The attacker runs over to the woman trying to climb under the bed, telling her that she remain silent if she wished to live. He then approaches the once armed man, slowly killing him. The attacker felt alive. This was the moment that he was searching for. That feeling of euphoria when the people around him are killed, it was something irreplaceable. The killer then turned to the remaining human. The woman shouted something about a promise that the killer had made, but it was too late. The killer made a lunge and did the same to the wife as he did the husband.
The murderer did n't need to clean up. He felt nothing in this moment but pleasure. There was no fear that he could get caught, imprisoned, or anything of the sort. The murderer put his knife through the lifeless flesh, hoping to feel something. He knew though that he would n't. It was n't the physical experience that the murderer wanted. It was something else, something that could n't be explained.
The murderer drew three bloody circles on the wall, and once the blood on his clothing had dried, he decided to walk away. He walked over to the driveway and got in the car, where his friend was waiting for him. As they were driving away, the friend, now having mustered up enough courage, asked, “ Why do you kill? ” There were 10 minutes of silence, 10 minutes of what felt like eternity, until the murderer opened his mouth.
“ Why do you stay with me? Why do you go out every night to that casino every night and play until you do n't have a drop of money left? Why do you sit around playing games on your laptop every day? You know the reason well enough. It's fun for you, right? Maybe it's interesting, thrilling, or just exciting. Now imagine that any sense of enjoyment you have is taken away. A life so dull is not even worth living. Why do I kill you ask? It's because there's nothing better to do. Nothing is interesting or satisfying, except for that feeling of removing a life. How is it so different from someone wasting his life away playing games and gambling every day? There's nothing else for me but that idea of removing a life, it's the only thing I feel alive doing. Without it, my life would be pointless. Why do you label me as a murderer and shun me off when I ’ m just trying to enjoy my life, just like the 7 billion other people in the world? I'm just a person, no different from you ”
The man then went silent, waiting until they arrived at the next destination.
|
[ WP ] Humanity may not be the most technologically advanced species in the galaxy but they are the only ones aware of magic and capable of using it - which comes in handy whenever aliens think Earth is a soft target for conquest .
| No-one thinks too highly of humans.
Slow ships, mediocre weaponry, defensive measures barely capable of keeping the paint on the hull. Trustworthy enough species though. You get a few rogues, but for the most part they're decent folk.
But despite not being thought highly of, they are thought about a considerable amount. For one, they coaxed the alliance council out of requesting the location of their home planet. And while they're usually dissmissed as mere stories, there are a few tales of humans being conspicuously near... occurrences.
During my investigations I've heard of humans flying unassisted, bar brawls ceasing with no casualties, and one account of a particularly rowdy specimen of a warrior race disintegrating upon threatening a human's offspring.
To assist with my research, the council has approved a large bank account to cover my fees and expenses, and has requested a human to take part in `` integration negotiations''. Poor thing wo n't know what hit them.
-- --
INTERROGATION LOG 1437
Human is in office, inhaling the odourless mental incapacitator.
Gas has cleared, entering office to begin interrogation.
Subject has been queried as to location of home planet.
Subject has been queried as to the veracity of tales of humans.
Subject seems to find questions humorous.
Subject has not broken eye contact for a number of minutes.
I seem to be developing a headache. Maybe the gas has not cleared?
Subject appears to have grow horns in a matter of seconds.
My hands look fuzzy...
Ooh a butterfly!
What's a butterfly?
*Medical note: Interrogator was found unconscious with minor cranial bleeding. There was no evidence of a human subject. *
-- --
|
[ WP ] From the perspective of an elderly person losing the battle with Alzheimer 's as their loved ones come to visit for the last time .
| **January 13th, 2011**
Blake visited today. He gave me this journal and told me to write in it. Apparently it helps slow the process? I don ’ t buy it, but he ’ s such a nice young man, I didn ’ t have the heart to tell him. He brought in his wife, Charlie, and my two grandkids. How did I manage to get such nice grandkids? They gave me a big a hug and said they missed me.
This center isn ’ t as bad as I protested it would be. The nurses are nice and they allow for a lot of visiting hours. And there ’ s more to do than just watch that stupid TV. I thought I ’ d show up here be politely put in a gown, walked towards the living area, filled with drooling baby boomers, and flip on *I Love Lucy*.
But they have so much to do. They have *ping pong*. I played with little Robbie when they visited today. I may have my bad days, but I ’ m a fit as a fiddle.
And no, I didn ’ t let him win. There ’ s no way he ’ s going to remember his grandma as mentally unstable *and* unable to beat a child at ping pong. Nope.
This granny still has it.
**March 21st, 2011**
They changed my nurse. I don ’ t like the new one. I used to have pictures of the old one in my room, her name is escaping me at the moment, but they ’ ve gotten rid of those too. When I asked if she was new here, she simply smiled.
Smiled. But not the warm kind of the smile. The same smile I used to get when I was in a room filled with Dicks in suits. The kind that says, “ That ’ s nice, dear. Why don ’ t you leave this whole business stuff to the men and get back in the kitchen. ” They never believed I ’ d do it. But you can bet your retirement that by the time I bought the last one of those fat cats out and returned their condescending smile, they knew it.
**May 9th, 2011**
Blake visited again today. I ’ m so happy I was in a good place, mentally. His face has started to light up when I say his name. He tries to hide it, but I can see the weight on his chest lift when I recognize him. He ’ s such a good man. The one good thing that came out of that marriage to that piece of shit drunk. Good fucking riddance. That deadbeat drank his weight in fucking vodka every night then tried to slide into bed beside me. Stinking of booze and sweat and filth.
How I managed to raise Blake to be so kind, I ’ ll never know. I should probably thank Betsy, who always went well beyond cleaning the house and fixing him lunch.
He brought me flowers. Petunias. He says their my favorite. He ’ s wrong, roses are nicest, but I let it slide.
Today was a good day.
**June 30th, 2011**
Blake came in with his wife. I couldn ’ t remember her name… or him ever getting married. And why am I here? This nice nurse smiled at me when I asked. She seems so sweet. I like the way she smiles.
**September 3, 2011**
This young man and his loud family came in today to visit. I honestly couldn ’ t recollect how I knew them, but I wanted to be kind and accept their gifts. He gave me some roses; they ’ re not petunias but they ’ ll do. One of the little boys asked if we could play ping pong, but I told him I didn ’ t have the time.
The man then tried to hug me. Call me old fashioned, but I do n't hug people I just met.
**November 24th, 2011**
They gave us a lot of great food today! Sweet potatoes, turkey, cranberry… boy it beat the miserable excuse for cooking they usually do! It was just like how my mother used to cook. Not as good as Betsy, heavens no, but a real treat nonetheless. Dessert was pumpkin pie with whipped cream, coffee and my nice nurse even snuck me a few ginger bread cookies for my sweet tooth. She really is wonderful.
Blake came in to visit, but I was a little too tired to talk to him, so I had the nurse tell him I was asleep. *Days of Our Lives* was just getting good too, having a TV in the room made it easy.
**December 25th, 2011**
I wish I would have wrote something to them. I.. ** [ EXCERPT CROSSED OUT ] **
It comes and goes. I jump in and out of remembering. My good days I believe are few and far between, but… I don ’ t… damnit.
It ’ s Christmas, but I don ’ t remember eating Thanksgiving dinner. It ’ ll be 2012 in less than a week, but I can ’ t recollect what ’ s happened this last year. There ’ s a picture of a man and his family next to my bed… I know they ’ re important. I want to write to them.
If I could just remember their names
|
[ CW ] Write a short story where nothing particularly interesting happens and the environment stays the same **but** the Protagonist undergoes a great change - either physically or mentally .
| Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep.
New job! I got ta make a good impression on the boss! I got ta tell the family I'll be working longer, so I ca n't see them as much. They say they understand. I got ta get them out of the dump we call home.
Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep.
The boss was interested in me! He says he wants to promote me next week! Huk, the hours are also increased. I got ta accept. Little Jane needs braces, and Jack needs money for his football practice.
Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep.
Wife broke down crying that I do n't spend as much time as I used to with her. I do n't know what she wants from me. I broke my back everyday trying to put food on the table and getting us out of the slums. Maybe I should just work overtime.
Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep.
Wife was cheating behind my back. She said I did n't spend enough time with her. Divorce proceedings are going through. She's taking the kids with her.
Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep.
I do n't know what to do anymore. I'm at the pinnacle of the world. I ca n't go anywhere.
Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Shave. Eat. Drive. Work. Lunch. Work. Drive. Dinner. Sleep. Die.
|
[ HP ] Rewrite the speech Nixon prepared if the Apollo 11 Moon Landing failed .
| Today, my fellow Americans, two men have been ordained by fate to be the gatekeepers to new era of humanity, sadly they shall not be able to cross through with us.
These men mark a new beginning, a understanding of what the true definition of valor is, and what we can strive to sacrifice for a greater purpose: of hope and compassion and knowledge and freedom.
Today, we lose not only two Americans, but the world has lost two men. Valiant men, who will be mourned as heroes through out the following days.
But through our loss we gain knowledge, we learn of the compassion of man, we learn the sacred nature of the brotherhood of man.
In this brotherhood, we have always looked up at the stars and wondered and amazed and now the day has come where we have stepped up to the challenge and have become more then just flesh and blood; we have become those who step up to anything and we have two men up there who are a testament to that.
From them they will leave a trail and many men will follow and come back, our nature of searching and truth has become too powerful deny now; but from today to the future, these men shall be the first to realize that belief, and for that they shall remain immortalized in our hearts and minds.
Now every human being must look and see themselves, their neighbors, their country, their world. Now a new world has emerged and humanity will know of its origins.
|
[ EU ] You 're the laser firing technician for the Death Star that 's responsible for 'pulling the trigger ' . You 've just destroyed Alderaan , how are you coping with having murdered an entire planet ?
| From what I gathered from a psychology class I took, people tend not to feel particularly guilty for things they are ordered to do. They are in the state of mind that they are the instrument of someone else's will. So the guy who pushed the button would feel like Darth Vader whom he trusted ( or at least feared ) had abused his willing obedience. They would n't have a problem so much with the murdering because that was Vader's decision and it would still happen even if he personally refused. Also the button pusher was super distanced from the victims so there would be no traumatic memories. The psychological issues would be focussed around hatred of Vader for making him press the button and self-loathing for allowing himself to be manipulated.
It's basically how every German who contributed to the Nazi regime after World War II: disgust at the regime leaders who tricked them into trusting the Nazis, and disgust at themselves for falling for the propaganda. There's very little trauma and personal accountability at play unless they actually did something bad autonomously and have a traumatising memory associated with it.
In the case of killing a planet's worth of people it's a slightly different deal but if the button pusher felt he was in the right he would be just fine because of the lack of trauma, the closest parallel is Paul Tibbets who pressed the button that dropped the A bomb on Hiroshima. He said `` I sleep clearly every night.'' and he was proud to do his best to end to war quickly, it was an accolade.
So these stories should either read `` I'm totally cool with it'' or `` I hate Vader for abusing his authority''.
|
[ WP ] All the worlds super heroes has died , can the super vilains save the day ?
| A TV crackles in the back of an old shop `` The news reports are coming from across the globe it does appear that the Enrox Fleet has indeed pushed past the line of last defenders and are on route to Earth. The President is holding a news conference at 2PM to discuss the situation. We move now to our expert Joah Hoya. Joah how did we end up in this situation and what can we do about it.''
`` Not a whole lot Synthia.'' Joah said looking like he was on auto pilot his brain a million miles away.
`` So there ’ s nothing we can do?''
`` No, the military is totally unprepared for this situation and every last Super is unaccounted for. We have to assume…''
`` assume what?'' Synthias usual monotone expression desperate for a response
`` That they are Dead Synthia'' Tears dropped from Joah's cheeks and the station cut to a commercial about cat food.
***
`` They are all dead? HA no more Mr. Limblifter, Dr. Dragon, or The Bastion to stop us. Ooooooo No Bastion! YEAH!'' There was an uproar as the council clapped, cheered and hugged.
“ Fools! ” Bannic groaned as he pursed his lips, everyone looked at him for a second only giving him a seconds look as he got up from his chair, leaving the table with now the most powerful men on the planet. The Council of Calamity, a group of the best super villains on earth sat in their chairs cheering clapping each other on the backs. Bannic turned looked at them all as he walked out of the room. “ I could have used them ” He said to no one, Bannic had a habit of talking to himself.
Once outside Bannic proceeded to grab the corner of the building, arms pulsing as the walls started to crumbled, then focusing his other abilities that he rarely used, focused the pressure evenly across the two walls creating the whole structure to start tumbling. Bannic heard the door rattle but he had wedged it closed with something uncrecognizable, `` That better hold them'' Bastion muttered to himself. Being the last to show up he had barricaded all the doors and this was a warehouse no windows to be seen. Within a few minutes the whole council was ground to dust.
“ Amateurs ” Bannic said as he got in his Corvette and drove off. The night sky was extra bright tonight, there were glowing dots protruding where stars should have been. They didn ’ t look much different except that they were brighter and if you watched long enough you noticed that they moved relative to the other stars. They were coming and something needed to be done.
Bannic had gone to the council seeking help, telling them that the Heros were all but destroyed. Of course most already knew, and no one gave him much notice. Everyone thought he was a low level thug and never put much stock into his abilities so they never expected him to do something so drastic.
Interpol was the first to report globally what had happened. They had been tracking The Human Mine for months using government sat time. They had been putting together a case and were just waiting for the show to drop when the whole building had come down on their little project. What was this madness Bannic was a low level thug, his big claim to fame was that he had fought every Super hand to hand and lived to talk about it.
No government agency had any reports of Bannic being able to take down whole buildings let alone some power that allowed him to use it to crush an elite squad of the world best super villains. There were few heroes that could do that and they just never did. It was against their code, and the 1976 Charter of Heros. It prevented vigilantes and defined clear lines that you just don ’ t cross. By the end of the hour every government that had access to a government imaging was pointing one or more at Bannic trying to figure out what this meant.
In the meantime Bannic drove, and went straight west on the i180 going over 190 mph passing everything from trucks and cars to police, who were told quickly not to engage in the individual.
***
“ Where the hell is he going? ” A tall man in a military uniform asked someone sitting at a console staring at a monitor.
“ Well his projection points him going directly the L.A. but there ’ s nothing left out there, hasn ’ t been for 30 years since it was torched. ”
“ Well there ’ s something out there, you don ’ t go kill every bad guy you ever worked with one day and drive out to one of the most restricted areas for nothing. Something's out there, I want to know what he ’ s doing, why and what we have to expect. ”
“ What about the Fleet sir shouldn ’ t we be watching them? ”
“ Yes but it ’ s pretty easy to look at impending doom coming down from above and realize there ’ s not much point in watching it. They will be here when they get here and in the meantime I want to know what the hell is going on. ”
“ yes sir ”
***
“ Welp this is it ” Bannic stood in front of the shell of a large mansion as the sun came up in the horizon. The whole thing had been burnt out and the stone structure that was left was crumbling and covered in black ash. Bannic hopped up the steps and walked through what normally would have been the entry and went through the rubble looking for something. Once he found the right spot he closed his eyes and pointed himself east. LIfted up his left hand looking for a lever that wasn ’ t there then took two more steps forward. He opened his eyes and looked. Banged his foot two times onto the floor. Nothing happened. With a small groan Bannic kneeled down and cleared the debris away the grabbed two floor boards and pulled as hard as he could. There was a small creek then a pop and a crack as Bannic pulled the floorboard out. He exposed the guts of a machine connected with wire and other pieces. They had long lost their power and backup batteries if functioning damaging the building no longer had juice. Bannic cut the wires and kicked a few of the internals until a small dial was exposed. THen taking care to not damage things further he took out a crowbar ramming it into the dial and turned. The stuck latch moved slowly but it did move.
Once there was enough of an exposed gap, Bannic slipped through and slid down through the hole to some stairs. Then made his way down into a vast exposed hall. It was filled with many different things, large guns, small guns, odd trinkets with dials and jackets. It looked like it was a thrift shop based in a clothing store that was doing a poor job to cover up a military depot. At the end was a blue suite with a helmet on top, it was accented in green and was made with some sort of metal. It shined bright even in the dark hall with no light at all the whole place light up. Getting closer Bannic saw that it had a thick layer of dust on it but it still looked brilliant even in this dark pit.
He lifted off the helmet first. Put it on and it immediately ran up form fitting to his head as it booted up. The helmet grabbed him and pulled so close that Bannic thought he was going to be choked out. He push back at the helmet and it just latched on tighter. Just as he thought he was going to start gagging for breath it eased up. Noticing that he had closed his eyes in terror, something he hadn ’ t done before, he suddenly thought he had knocked the helmet off. He looked around but there was no edge the visor at all. He could see as if he hadn ’ t had it on at all. The only way he could tell it was on was by the feeling he had when he touched his face. His fingers told him that he was wearing it but his head had other ideas. Finally a heads up display popped up in front of him. This gave him statistics on everything labeling things around the room and giving all kinds of information that he couldn ’ t process at the moment.
After taking some time to adjust to the display and helmet Bannic put the rest on. This time he was ready for the suite to form to his body and he found that the rest of the suite was much more barrable to put on.
“ Computer what does this thing look like on me anyways ”
The computer took him to a mirror. Looking into it he saw himself. The perfect image of the Blue eagle. Well maybe not perfect, his shoulders were much broader and he stood probably 6 inches taller, but from far away no one was going to know.
Bannic kicked his heals and before he could say “ let ’ s get the hell out of Dodge ” the suite shot him up in the direction he chose and he blasted out of the cave flying.
“ Hrmm that ’ s going to take some getting used to ” Bannic said to himself, as he flew past a fleet of military trucks and cargo vans surrounding the estate.
|
[ WP ] You gain superpowers , but your closest friend slowly becomes your arch nemesis . Describe your last OR first encounter .
| Phoenix cracked open a beer and handed it to Fiend. Wiping soot from the tab, Fiend sighed.
`` We've been doing this for a long time, Alan.''
Phoenix shifted in his lawn chair, adjusting the crotch of his flight suit as he squirmed.
`` Too long, I think. Remember the times we had right here?''
Fiend grinned, his red eyes aflame. `` Do you remember Sarah? Grade seven?''
`` Of course I do,'' Phoenix laughed, `` My first kiss, right here in this backyard. Did I ever tell you that your mom, bless her, watched the whole thing through the kitchen window?''
Fiend burst out into snorts. `` No you did n't! Damn, the stuff that happened in my yard.''
There was a silence. The wind whistled through a well-tended Japanese maple, and rustled the garden.
Phoenix smiled wryly at Fiend. `` You fucker, you stole her by the end of the week.''
`` It was grade seven, dude! She dated every guy in our class!''
`` And she did n't change in high school, either. She must have slept her way through half the school. And the other half were straight girls.''
Fiend snickered. `` No one ever changes.''
`` Well...'' Phoenix cast a glance across the patio at his old friend. Fiend met his eyes, and they shared a nod.
Without words, they stacked their chairs. Phoenix hopped the chain-link fence, walking a dozen meters away from the house to take off. Fiend did the same, on the opposite end of the yard.
With a burst of fire and pulse of darkness, the two friends rocketed in the air. The sky was red, and the sun streamed past black thunder clouds to land on a broken landscape. Great fissures were open in the earth, gushing lava and ash. Lightning touched down on every dead tree.
Before they engaged, Phoenix and Fiend checked the old home of their childhood. The Japanese maple still had the wind whistling through it, and the garden was still rustled by the breeze. Even if the whole world burned, that land was sacred.
Across kilometers of empty air, Phoenix and Fiend locked eyes.
*We've changed, * they both thought, and began.
|
[ WP ] An injection of hormones is said to guarantee you 'll stay in love with your partner forever . You 've already done yours when you find out your partner thinks it 's wrong .
| The injections did n't quell my anger. A man in bondage can still lash out at his captor even when in the grips of Stockholm Syndrome.
Three years ago I agreed to let them put the needle in my arm and inject me with the coded hormones that forever locked my heart to hers. The scientist said that though I might be attracted to others such desire would, `` never surmount the absolute passion and addiction I would have for her.''
Poetic for sure. In fact, making such a permanent and lasting decision is an act of love itself. I mean taking such an injection is really just an extension of placing the ring on the finger and making the oath. Right?
The thought of her getting the same injection comforted me. I had always harbored a fear that I would n't be enough for her. It was something about the way she talked to other men.
Imagine my surprise when I stepped back into the waiting area to find her crying... sobbing into her father's shoulder. His dark beady eyes stared at me with a look of sickening satisfaction. I was not the doctor, lawyer, or wealthy man he had envisioned for his daughter.
I felt heavy at the thought of her pain. I had never liked to see her cry but this empathy was physically overpowering. The sensation was so new I fell to my knees and cried out in pain.
The nurses quickly grabbed me and seated me in a wheel chair. When I finally calmed they wheeled me over to my love.
She looked upon me with her large beautiful blue eyes. I got lost in the puddles pooling there for quite sometime. And then for first time I saw my unborn children.
`` Matheus! Matheus are you OK?'' her soft hands were touching my face pulling me out of the dream. There was some sort of scent about her I had n't noticed before. It was vanilla, motherly, comforting, and overpowering.
`` I.. I think so,'' I somehow found my focus again.
`` Matheus, I have to tell you something. I'm so sorry. I did n't get the injection.''
I did n't care. I just wanted her not to hurt, `` It's OK dear, you should do whatever you're comfortable with.''
She seemed surprised by my quick acceptance. Some form I had signed said the initial impact of the hormone might cloud judgement but I think that I would say the same to her now, even if it happened today. I just did n't want her to be upset.
`` Do you mind if I ask why not?'' I tried not to sound accusatory. I did n't want to presume anything. So long as she kept looking at me with those eyes I did n't care. This was all my fault... somehow.
Her father spoke, `` Because it's against God, nature, and sanity. My God, get a tattoo or interlocking necklaces. You do n't go altering your body chemistry just because you think you're in love!''
I wanted to strike him. There was no love engineered for him. One look from her quelled those thoughts.
`` Matheus, I just could n't go through with it. The future is so... uncertain...''
Our relationship lasted exactly 3 months and 2 days after that day. Though the initial effects of the hormones lessened she claimed I still smothered her. I did everything I could to avoid overwhelming her but in those brief moments she endured me I gushed without end.
Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. I would rather be stabbed with a needle than feel that pain. I would rather die than embarrass myself again like I did a few weeks later in that restaurant.
There she sat with another man. A huge burly man. My jaw still aches from where he broke it. Though, I've felt more hurt inside than any fist could pummel out of my flesh.
1 year later...
`` Matheus, I need a place to stay.''
`` Done!''
A year after our breakup she was destitute. If her father had hated me he had loathed the construction worker boyfriend from Bolivia. She had never worked a day in her life. Ostracized from her father and his money she found herself without a benefactor when the YMCA fantasy ended.
I gave her my bed and my space in it. I cried myself to sleep every night into a basement couch cushion. I would lie there awake and let the subterranean Radon soak into my lungs.
I never thought I could get angry with her. God knows I should have but the chemicals that warmed my veins seemed to always find a way to turn the anger back on myself.
*I* was n't good enough. *I* was the one who had pushed her away. If *I* loved her *I* would let her see these other men under my roof. If she loved me she would return.
Askja worked at my local library. She was a quiet, tall, leggy blond from one of the Nordic countries. Though an accent was present I found her English diction and grammar far superior to mine.
I often stopped by the library when I needed an escape from the sounds of my love being hammered by a carpentered, or piped by the plumber. Though I never really forgot what was happening back at the homestead I found some solace in my conversations with Askja.
One day she surprised me by asking me out on a date. Starving for human affection I complied though I felt completely horrible the whole time we were out. I oozed guilt. I never even looked her in the eyes. I hid my face behind menus and columns as if I were a movie star involved in a scandalous affair.
Somehow my physical and emotional needs as a man had gotten me through the restaurant door but there was no satisfaction in this `` cheating.'' I felt like I had to run.
The ever perceptive Askja confronted me about my behavior on the way out to her car, `` So, what is your situation? Are you married? I have n't seen this much guilt on a man's face since my time with Father Cyrus at the Catholic reform school.''
I broke down at that moment. I told her everything. The shock on her face and the genuine sympathy was somehow comforting. I felt something from her I had n't felt in quite some time, compassion.
`` I would like to meet this woman,'' she said firmly at the end of my confession.
I tried to protest but she took me by the arm and lead me back to her car. We drove in silence for several minutes before we pulled into my driveway. A black Lexus sat there out of place in the affordable neighborhood.
`` It looks like she has company. Let's do this another ti...''
`` WE'RE DOING THIS NOW!'' I had never heard her voice outside of its normal librarian whisper. I was taken aback. Meekly I accepted her hand as she pulled me from the car.
I started to knock on the door but she demanded I unlock it instead. `` You live here! This is your home, not hers!''
We opened the door to the sounds of light jazz music and the smells of garlic that had probably been cooked into a pasta. On the couch two figures were embraced in a deep passionate kiss. Their naked shoulders hinted at more bare flesh like icebergs on the surface of the blanket that surrounded them.
`` What the hell Matheus! ``, my love screamed as soon as she saw me.
`` Who is this?'' the graying but handsome man looked back at me with a hint of violence in his eyes.
`` It's my roommate! He was supposed to be gone all evening!'' She sneered.
|
[ WP ] You recently died and you 're having a conversation with god . He tells you he 's planning to end the earth and start over because of how horrible the world has become . Give an argument about why he should n't do this .
| `` Well, uh, have you tried talking to them?'' I said hesitantly. God looked up at me from behind his massive wooden desk, tears welling in his eyes.
`` Yes, of course I have, we were talking for years, I even sent my kid over to tell them everything I wanted, and they still wo n't listen!'' I stood dumbfounded at the sight of the ancient diety.
`` We have n't heard from you in, like, uh, millenia? All the smart people think you're just a fairy tale. You really should just calm down and talk to us. We can get through this.'' I look at all of the clutter on his desk for something useful. `` Here, just turn on the P.A. System, send out a group message, and we'll get on track! `` God glowered at me.
`` No! It wo n't work. It never works. I have tried to convince people I'm here by changing the outcome of football games and lotteries and other random chance events. I've tried burning by self on toast, I even put my kid on a dog's butthole! You people just do n't get it. I... I... oh me dammit I ca n't even.''
I was getting exasperated. `` But, do n't you think that maybe you have n't done enough to tell us you exist?'' God turned an ugly shade of red.
`` I should n't have to tell you, you should just know! You should just get it, I do n't have time to hold your hand and tell you what to do. What about me, huh? What happened to all the nice songs you used to sing for me? You never sing for me. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU GOT ON YOUR KNEES FOR ME?'' He bellowed.
`` Well, I, I mean, those fossils were really convincing... and your book, it does n't make any sense! it goes against everything we know about the laws of nature and recorded history,''
`` Why do you always bring up the book! Always bringing up shit from the past and blaming it all in me. You guys were fine with all the rage and slavery and stonings at first, do n't act like it was all my fault. I was going through a fire and brimstone phase, I'm not the same God anymore. And you've written way worse books, I've seen that Twilight nonsense!'' Yahweh snivelled. He slid a stack of papers off his desk, and stared at the big red button through teary eyes. `` I'll do it you know.''
`` God, please, cummon, we both know you would n't.''
`` Would too! That'd teach you. Messing with the wrong God, I'll teach them, oh yes I will, because I'm God, yes I am,''
`` Stop it!''
`` Nope. I'm hitting the flood button.''
`` Again? White the flood?''
`` Oh yeah. One touch if this and the polar ice caps will begin to melt, taking out several coastal cities in the next few centuries. Then you fuckers will be sorry!'' He gleefully slapped the button, then ran to the window.
`` Oh for fucks sake,'' I said as I stormed out of his office. I walked straight to the elevator and hit the basement button.
|
[ WP ] You guard a door , at the front of the hidden bunker . You know everyone , every face , every name . But the person outside right now is unfamiliar , even if they do know the password .
| Scanning Subject
Searching Database for Subject…
…
…Subject Unidentified.
Visual Recognition- Unidentified
Voice Recognition- Unidentified
`` heLLo theRe Computer, would YOu allOW me to eNTer Please. I AM CapTAIN hoLT and THe paSSwoRd is'GaRden Of eDen'''
Password- Match
Hand Gesture- Match
Voice Tone- C # - Match
Searching Database for Subject...
...
... Subject Unidentified.
Requesting Advisory...
`` -Wuuh? Yes? Yes Athena? What's the matter?''
`` Unidentified Individual Requesting Entry to Safe Zone 1008''
Uploading Image Feed
“ My god what is that… Athena don ’ t let that thing in here! Oh god… They ’ ve found us. We have to evacuate NOW! Initiate evacuation Sequence 4449. ”
“ Affirmative Commander ”
Initiating Evacuation Sequence 4449…
…Sleeping Quarters A01 to A10 Notified
…Sleeping Quarters B01 to B10 Notified
…Library Alarm Sounded
…Kitchens and Dining Alarm Sounded
…Initiating Departure Sequence
… Initiating Ship Fueling
… Initiating Supply Stock
Incoming Transmission:
“ hELLO CompuTer. leT me INN pLEASe. I Am captain HoooolllllLLT. The pASSWord is ‘ gARDen of Eden ’. ”
“ Access Denied. Please Vacate The Premises Or You Will Be Terminated ”
Arming Sentry Cannon…
Failed… Sentry Cannon Unresponsive
Main Gate B03 Suffering Heavy Corrosive Damage
Security Bots Activated
Main Gate Breached
Engaging Enemy In Sector B
Camera Footage:
*The creatures appeared to be made of rotting flesh. Organs and bones woven together in a grotesque mess with bright red eyes all over their bodies. They poured through the broken gate grabbing anyone they could find and “ integrating ” them. A woman screamed as her arms were torn off and added to one of the creatures. Wormlike appendages snaked out of the creature and went down her throat stifling her cries. 4 Security robots appeared, tearing the creatures apart and incinerating anything in their sight including any hapless people caught in the blast. A creature jumped on one of the metal guards, but the bot ripped it off and threw it across the room. However 2 more creatures jumped it from behind, wrapping their numerous rotting limbs around its frame causing it to lose its balance and topple over spewing fire as it went. The sentries fought mechanically, feeling no pain or fear, but eventually they were overwhelmed. *
“ Emergency Quarantine of Sector B Blast Doors Will Now Be Shut ”
Updating…
11/20 Security Bots Remain
Priorities Lost: 27
3/30 Sector B Inhabitants Remain
30/30 Sector A Inhabitants Remain
Escape Shuttle Status:
… Fuel: 55 % Complete
… Supplies: 34 % Loaded
… Passengers: 5/40 Arrived
Warning! Vent System Impaired!
Diagnosing…
…
…Air Flow Obstructed By Multiple Large Objects
Warning! Multiple Hostiles Sighted in Sector A!
Blast Doors Suffering Heavy Corrosive Damage
Blast Doors Unresponsive
…Diagnosis Complete: Intruders Located in Ventilation System- Closing All Ventilation Shafts
“ Warning! Oxygen Levels Decreased! Please Travel to the Nearest Emergency Supply Room and Equip a Breathing Mask! ”
Updating…
2/20 Security Bots Remain
Priorities Lost: 37
3/30 Sector B Inhabitants Remain
20/30 Sector A Inhabitants Remain
Escape Shuttle Status:
… Fuel: 100 % Complete
… Supplies: 67 % Loaded
… Passengers: 23/40 Arrived
Closing Blast Doors to Launch Pad
Warning! Power Supply to Launch Pad Compromised!
“ Commander, There is Insufficient Power to Initiate Launch ”
“ Goddammit. Alright Carson, Devon, with me! We got ta find a way to reroute the power to the launch pad. ”
“ The Engineering Room is has been Highlighted on Your Map Commander, Please be Warned, Multiple Hostiles in the Vicinity: Approximately 11. ”
“ Alright Athena send the last 2 bots over. Launch immediately after power is restored ok? Don ’ t wait for us to get back there ’ s no more time. ”
“ Affirmative Commander ”
Opening Blast Doors to Launch Pad
Closing Blast Doors to Launch Pad
Camera Footage:
*The 2 bots ran in front plowing through the fleshy masses. The 3 soldiers followed quickly, firing their guns. Suddenly a 3 meter long arm appeared from the ventilation shaft above hooking into Devon ’ s eye sockets. It withdrew pulling him into the shaft. The others had no choice but to press onward as more red eyes appeared in the darkness behind them. *
“ We ’ re here! ”
“ Reroute Power From Mainframe, Kitchens, and Showers. ”
“ -- -ARghhh!!! Carson! Finish the objective! Insert the bargurggrgglle—! ”
Warning! Power Loss in Mainframe, Kitchens, and Showers!
Power Supply to Launch Pad Restored
Updating…
0/20 Security Bots Remain
Priorities Lost: 40
3/30 Sector B Inhabitants Remain
17/30 Sector A Inhabitants Remain
Escape Shuttle Status:
… Fuel: 100 % Complete
… Supplies: 69 % Loaded
… Passengers: 20/40 Arrived
Supply Dock Impaired
Diagnosing…
Diagnosing…
Diagnosing…
Mainframe Power Shortage is Causing Diagnostic Process to Run Slow: Aborting…
Warning! Blast Doors to Launch Pad Unresponsive!
Aborting Supplies
Initiating Launch
Camera Footage:
*They swarmed into the hangar crawling toward the escape shuttle. Long appendages shot out trying to latch onto the shuttle. The AI used the last of its power to activate cargo loading arms knocking them aside. The shuttle finally escaped the gravity of the moon they were on and took off into the night sky. *
Warning Core Compromised! Critical Power Loss t-to all Funct-Funct-Funct…
Priority: Protect Last of H-h-humans s-s-succ-c-ce-
|
[ WP ] After thousands of years the devil decides to take his long earned vacation . You , as his secretary , are now the supreme ruler of the underworld .
| `` ALFRED!''
`` Yes, sir?''
`` I'm going on vacation.''
`` You ca n't, sir. You're the Devil. You're supposed to be here torturing people for eternity. You ca n't just take a break. Hell needs you, sir.''
`` It'll be fine. I'll just leave you in charge. You've been my secretary for - how long now?''
`` Four thousand, five hundred and sixty three years sir.''
`` Exactly. You should know how to run this place by now.''
`` But, but --''
`` No buts. You're in charge. All you need to do is make sure that you stoke the fires every now and then, give the demons what they want but make sure that they do n't walk all over you. If you give them too much leeway, they'll start getting uppity and I do n't want to be putting down a demon uprising when I get back.''
`` Yes, sir.''
`` Oh and one more thing, Alfred.''
`` Yes sir?''
`` Whatever you do, make sure that Hell does n't freeze over, otherwise there will be Hell to pay.''
|
[ WP ] Write a story that is lighthearted , but ends disturbingly .
| Danny was the best friend I ever had. Every day I came home from school he'd be waiting by the door, his little brown tail wagging a thousand times a minute, and a huge slobbery grin on his face. No one was ever as happy to see me as Danny was. Not then and not since. His stubby little legs were some of the funniest things I've ever seen. Going on walks was the best. Getting away from screaming and yelling. Just me and Danny, not a care in the world. Danny was so cute whether he was licking his snout or begging for a belly rub or just sleeping in my bed. He was n't supposed to be eating human food or sleeping in my bed, but I could never say no to those deep brown eyes.
Everyday I made sure to lock the door on my way out to school. But I must have forgot. Stupid stupid STUPID! He was n't home when I came back. Most of my stuff was n't. But stuff is replaceable you know? Not Danny. Not my darling dachshund. I miss you. I miss you so much.
Edited for spelling
|
[ WP ] Long after mankind 's extinction , a new species has reached civilization and is discovering the ruins of humanity for the first time .
| You built your bottle from metal and gold.
You cast it to darkness, vast and cold.
We found your message on our cosmic shore.
We built the machine to hear your songs and your lore.
War became memory, famine became myth.
You were the thing we were preoccupied with.
Your singing saved us. It was your loving tone
that kept us from dying all cold and alone.
We found your world, covered in blue
and we found many things, but did n't find you.
We kept looking, of course, and found others too.
Our voices sing loud of the world covered in blue.
We search because we miss you. Let it be known,
were it not for you, we'd have all been alone.
Thank you, First Singer, for sharing your song.
Until we find you again, we'll keep singing along.
|
( WP ) The body has adapted to have tattoos randomly appear on your body . They are forewarnings of your future / future events .
| Perhaps it was coincidence that a needle-like pain suffused his body as he walked through the poverty-ridden streets of Detroit. More than likely it was a revelation though, and Chad knew that. His pasty skin began to blacken as though he were the unfortunate victim of a merciless fire, the tattoo enchantment taking hold of him.
In a panic, he stared at the spreading spiritual ink, wondering what it could possibly mean. The part of the city he was in was populated almost entirely by African-Americans, so could it mean that *they* would have something to do with this? No, no, these things were never just black and white.
He smiled at the accidental pun, glad he could find humor in something so nerve-racking. People, most either looking savagely intimidating or fiercely intimidated, passed him with suspicious glances. Chad was oblivious to all of this, lost in thought and transfixed by the mystical spreading of the ink.
One colored man, a resident of a nearby ramshackle apartment, took offense to Chad's loitering. Before the ink could spread to Chad's face, the man jabbed it several times, turning it a flushed red in several places and even drawing blood, the crimson ink flowing from his broken nose.
Barely conscious, Chad was no longer wondering what the tattoo meant. He wondered if his face would turn black like the rest of his body or blue from bruises, as the man took his nearly empty wallet cheap digital watch.
|
[ WP ] Write something that has a same opening sentence and ending sentence .
| Another love has come to harm,
My daughter-sweet lies dead in my arms.
It seems that she ran out of luck,
As she was swept beneath that truck.
Her mother, so distraught, blamed me,
Tomorrow my girl would be three.
To my friends, Jack D and Jim B I turned,
But they left me in the gutter, as my mind burned
With emotions, rage, regret, sadness.
But soon my thoughts would turn to madness.
Suspicion arose, and with it, desire,
I wanted my wife, but that whore liar
Had turned to other men for pleasure in bed,
So I took my fist unto her head
And now for all my destructive charm,
Another love has come to harm.
EDIT: Formatting
|
[ WP ] George R.R . Martin feeds off negative emotions , and is approaching the power he required to do what he set out to do in the first place .
| The clattering was all around me, sharp yet constant. I could n't possibly go on. The weight of that knowledge sat like an anchor on my chest. My hands were shaking, furrowed brow glistening with sweat. How do others manage to continue past this point? It seems so easy to convince myself out of it.'It would probably be better for my health if I stop now.''The short term hate would be well worth the long run.' But I ca n't, can I. I've come too far, and my goal is in sight. I can practically reach out to it.
No! I could n't possibly turn back now! `` Um, excuse me Waiter.''
`` Yes Mr. Marten?'' His response was as well pressed as his suit.
The clattering of plates died down a little as some of the other diners recognized me.
`` On second thought, I would like to see the dessert menu.''
|
[ WP ] In the future , five mega corporations have risen to power and now collectively control the whole of the world ( and possibly beyond ) . The Five are : Google , Virgin , Publix , Disney , and a fifth nobody expected . What is the fifth corporation and how did it rise to such significance ?
| The world had changed. Decades passed and the population continued to grow. Birthrates had fallen in the developed world. However people continued to demand ever higher standards of living. Either way it added up to one thing. More resources. More energy, more water, more food, more *everything*.
This could n't continue. Sooner or later people feared that some kind of breaking point would be reached. Finally, mankind came up with an answer. Virtual reality. VRadise^tm was one of the first companies to offer a virtual alternative to the resource problem.
Why spend your whole life trying to make enough to buy a big house, fancy car or go on exotic vacations when you could experience all these things for a tiny fraction of the price? And VRadise's tech was astoundingly seductive. You bought a set for about the same price as a large TV. You got the neural interface and a recliner to sit in while the interactive software did it's thing. A few extra bucks could get you all the best VR-Microsoft automatic updates.
Within a few short years, physical wealth began to lose all meaning. The VRadise dreamworld was just that.... a dream come true. Anybody could live whatever life they wanted. Experience anything they wanted. It was n't long before people started getting hooked. Many users spend the absolute bare minimum of time working at their jobs and then spent every spare minute inside the dream.
The government was worried at first, but quickly realized that the benefits outweighed the drawbacks. No more crime. No more complaints or civil unrest. People were spending so much time in their interactive, virtual communities they had little time or care for real world politics. Some people were even going on welfare and staying in the dream for days at a time. Prisons caught on and started putting inmates in the dream full time.... Only letting them out for breakfast and supper. Schools eventually began to offer VReducation with excellent results. Most airlines tried offering VRinflight entertainment until VRteleconferences and VRcations put most of them out of business.
Today VRadise^tm is the biggest corporation in the world. With over 7 billion full-time subscribers, real world demand on resources has fallen to pre-1960's levels of consumption. The corporation enjoys revenues of nearly $ 1 trillion annually. The future has never looked so bright.
|
[ WP ] Portals have been invented but with whatever going through never seeming to return , they ultimately gained widespread use as the perfect means of waste disposal . We never stopped to consider where our garbage was truly ending up ... until now .
| *Sorry, no time to proof this at all. Just a rough draft really. *
**Gone is Gone**
The Ecology department was not large, but then they never were these days. It had been a half century since physicists developed the perfect means of disposing all manner of waste. In that time it had become quite fashionable to care about the environment. Huge strides had been made now that it was so much easier. Of course that meant funding for environmental research was now at an all time low. We'll be sorry about that, he thought as he sought out the right door.
Dr. William Davis knocked softly on the ancient frosted glass door of room 216. The office of the department's dean. He was a little early for his appointment, but he doubted Hal would mind. He did n't have to wait long for an answer.
Dr. Harold Sterling had developed a bit of gut since Dr. Davis had last seen him. `` Bill! How good to see you. Come in!'' He stepped back giving his guest a view of a cluttered office.
Bill smiled as the pair seated themselves on opposite sides of the desk. Despite everything being computerized these days Hal still managed to maintain his aura of mild disorganization. `` What have you been doing with yourself. Bill? How are Martha and the kids? Still just the pair of them?''
`` They are all fine. Still just the twins. Martha and I are both quite content with our small family.'' The idea of making small talk bothered him. He had important matters to discuss.
`` That's nice. Everyone these days seems to want at least five.'' He opened a drawer and produced a pair of glasses and a bottle of scotch. The same brand they used to favor back in university. `` When I saw that you'd scheduled an appointment for today I had to pick up a bottle for old times.''
Al took the glass that was handed to him and noticed his hand was shaking slightly. They two raised their glasses in a silent toast to each other and quickly drained them, as was their old custom.
Bill choked briefly and stared at the empty glass. `` Did it always taste like that?''
Harold laughed, `` I ca n't recall but I imagine so.'' He shook his head. `` So to what do I owe the honor of this visit?''
`` I've found something that has...'' He gazed out the window. `` Do you recall, right after university I was heavily focused on legacy pollution issues?''
`` Sure, many were.''
`` We did a great job. The team I was working with was helping to design processes by which corporations could efficiently collect and transport waste or portal sites. We did a great job too. In the States there was a huge push because there were tax incentives. Corporations that reduced their pollution footprint sufficiently got huge tax breaks.''
`` You did an amazing job. Almost put me out of business. Very few ecological issues now like there were in the first part of the century. Most people feel the jobs done now.''
`` Yes, but in the beginning there was a movement to shut down the portals. Remember. No one knew where they went.'' Hal glanced at him. `` Yes, people would protest that the pollution could be ending up in some other universe, or on some other world where we were destroying that ecosphere. But of course, we pointed out to them that the chance of our waste popping up somewhere inhabited was virtually nil. The science said the other end of the portals could be literally anywhere in the universe, after all.''
`` You said no one knew... past tense.''
Bill nodded, staring at the empty glass he was still holding. `` Yes, knew. Imagine, the protesters said, what would we do if some other culture started dumping their garbage, their toxins, their nuclear waste on us? We'd find a way to fight back. We'd go to war.''
`` Are you saying the portals are reversible? That someone could start sending the waste back?''
Bill laughed, though it could have been a sob, `` No they do n't need to. The physicists were wrong. about the portals.''
`` In what way?'' Hal could feel sweat running down his back.
`` No one cared what happened to the waste inside the portal. Would it stay in tact or be pulverized? Heated? Frozen? I do n't think anyone even tried to figure it out? Gone is gone was the saying.'' He tilted the glass and watched the last droplet of scotch trace the bottom rim. `` Well, I've figured it out now.''
`` You're scaring me, Bill. What have you figured out?''
He thinks I'm mad, Bill decided. Maybe I am. `` About two years ago, I was doing some research in the south pacific. Using some sensitive equipment to try and detect legacy pollution levels. Most of the readings came up at or near nil, as you'd expect. But one of the buoys I was using was intermittently detecting levels of substances, toxins, even radioactives. Clearly the thing was buggy. It had to be. No one was even using such materials let alone dumping them in the environment.''
Bill took the bottle from the desk and filled his glass. He took a long drink from it, savoring the burn this time. `` It was n't buggy. I swapped it with other buoys and got the same result from every buoy I put there. Finally, I had to accept that it was real. There is a point in the south pacific where a stream of high energy particles is spraying out over the ocean. Particles made up of every kind of matter you can imagine. Matter that we put into portals to get rid of.''
`` Dear lord! One of the portals opened up over the pacific? We need to find which one and shut it down!''
`` No.''
`` No? Why on Earth not?''
`` It's too late. I told you, the physicists were wrong. They only worried about where the mass would go. They could never solve the math. Since they could n't figure it out, they decided that it was a quantum determinacy issue and that it was insolvable. The outlet would be truly random and could not be deduced. But they were wrong. They forgot that space and time are the same thing. They left out the time axis in their math. I solved it. I know where the portals open. They open on Earth. In the future. Now.''
`` No...''
`` Yes. I'm sorry. But they use the same formulas for all the portals. Why change them, after all. All the portals. All of them. 50 years worth of garbage of all kinds. I've found three other points now. I'm certain there will be hundreds more. They are temporally condensed too. That's why the particles are so high energy. Ten years at one end of the portal is only 2 months at the outlet.''
`` Over the next two to five years all the garbage produced on Earth for the last half century will be dumped into the environment in the form of high energy gasses spraying into the atmosphere.''
Bill drained his glass. `` There's nothing we can do... I just had to tell someone.''
|
[ WP ] Our `` Earth '' is just a copy . Every galaxy in the universe has their own `` Earth . '' Humanity evolved and destroyed itself time and time again , ours is just the next attempt on the list .
| What do you observe?'' Vrillion asked as his partner looked through the telescope-like apparatus.
Asteron let the telescope go, and turned around. `` It's not good,'' he said solemnly. `` It looks like they're making the same mistakes that 2391B made.''
`` That's impossible!'' Vrillion roared, `` We interfered this time! It should've stopped! Why have n't they stopped! What's wrong with 8793Y?''
Asteron shrugged, and offered the viewing mechanism to his colleague. Vrillion shook his head and turned it away.
`` Maybe... maybe we should be more forceful. A worldwide broadcast, in multiple languages,'' he suggested.
`` No, we interfered subtly before. Broadcasting to everyone, in every language would be too obvious. They need to figure this out on their own.''
`` Should I have Gillon send out the solar flares?''
Asteron sighed deeply, and leaned on the control console. `` Remember 5104M? They were so close, so close to perfect.''
`` Oh yeah,'' Vrillion responded. `` How long did they last again?''
`` 3 million of their years. Then it happened...''
`` Are n't they the cheese ones?'' Gillon asked, slowly walking into the room, stirring his coffee.
Asteron looked a little angry, `` M, not H!''
`` Oh! Yeah, I remember 5104M. How'd we take them out?''
`` Wandering black hole,'' Vrillion barked.
`` Right! After the incident with the raptors.''
Asteron nodded, with a vocal humming of, `` Mhm.''
Gillon sat and asked, `` How's 8793Y doing?''
Asteron passed him the apparatus, and he played with the side knobs quizzically.
`` Oh... oh my,'' he stated disappointingly. `` I do n't think we can salvage this.''
Asteron nodded, and Vrillion walked to the main control computer, entering a special password. Asteron followed, entering his password. They turned to Gillon.
Gillon let out a deep sigh, `` Solar flares again?'' He asked as he moped over to the blinking machine, and typed a password. Both nodded, and Gillon pounded a crucial key.
*8793Y terminated. 8794Y created. * The computer spoke robotically.
Gillon moped back towards the viewing apparatus, and watched the new Earth being born in galaxy Y.
|
[ WP ] Write a rhyme about waking up with a hangover .
| Painfully I awoke to my own displeasure,
Alcohol cloaks what my heart can ’ t measure,
At first you were everything and fun,
Now I am nothing and I can ’ t run,
I hate the need for your every drop,
Drink after drink I wish I could stop,
Trapped in a loop and I want out,
Without you I ’ m in a bottle of doubt,
I need this to end so I can move on,
I need a friend but I ’ m too withdrawn,
I ’ ll just have one more drink…
I start to pour and begin to sink,
One sip, two sips, three sips, four,
One glass, two bottles, three bottles, floor…
|
[ WP ] An immortal man meets and falls in love with a time traveling woman .
| My name is Daniel Wraithe. I have been awake for an era of life and see no end in sight. I wished to see the world's end and was somehow granted a terrible power by sheer will. The reason is unknown to me, other people pray but yet their words go on unheard. England, my home in 1848, yet so mysterious and unfamiliar in 1894. I was raised in poverty and subjected to hunger. Immortality means the hunger aches never go away. My family did not survive. My heart is alone suffering from the loss of loved ones of years past. I walk these grey lonely roads alone, I wander to see what life still offers.
& nbsp;
On a whim, I pursue the local gardens to sit among the greenery. `` So delicate,'' I murmur to a small blue flower, `` I wish to experience life's fragility once again.'' I stare at the petals, until a woman's voice breaks my concentration. `` Ah, a cornflower! My absolute favorite! I see it grabs your fancy as well!'' A voice as pure as fallen snow fills the air. I gaze into this lovely creatures face and her beauty astonishes my inner being. I am filled to the brim with adoration and a desire to know more. `` Yes, I suppose so. Although, you my lady, are far more entrancing to look at.'' The woman, named Ella, found me to be a suitable walking companion and we spent the day conversing about the most intimate matters. Intriguing conversation filled hours time in a blink of an eye.
& nbsp;
We stop at a nearby lake just as the sun sets. Seeing the red blush in her face developing, I set upon a move so bold I surprise myself. Taking my hand to her cheek, I place my lips so softly on hers for a single second. Ella was taken a back,'' You ca n't do such a thing!? We have n't yet known each other for but half a day?'' I felt my stomach sink to the ground as my heart pounded,'' My father would be incredibly enraged! Although I too feel an unexplainable attraction to you as well, If you promise to never do an ungodly act against me, I will stay companions with you''. Confusion hit me, `` What do you mean ungodly? Is a sweet kiss of admiration such great crime?.'' Ella explained,'' My father is a man of god and has vowed to keep me pure.'' The words Ella spoke stung me, feeling as though I was somehow hurting her. She saw my grimacing and said,'' I had the most wonderful day with you, really. I greatly enjoyed my time with you but if I am seen with sin on my lips I will get a thorough beating by father.'' I was taken aback, beaten? My mind could n't comprehend an act of violence to such a delicate fragile thing. I said to her,'' I would n't wish for you to get in such situations Ella, I am sorry. Please allow me the chance to get to know you in private. We can meet up secretly and fall together in love!''. I could see the disagreement in her face. She stated, `` Oh how you twist my soul! I long to be with you too, yet it is forbidden! I am betrothed to a child half my age and am due to marry him once he reaches of age. It may be better to part ways now before our love blooms into an eternal rose!''
& nbsp;
Needless to say that night, was not the last we saw of each other. The day of next, stolen kisses. The week of next, tender embraces. Spending the better half a year in pure ecstasy, we slowly and surely became lovers. Memories of Ella keep me going in the moments between and soon our hearts become one. The months of happiness are brought to a halt when Ella does n't show up to our tryst. Growing nervous of the outcome, I sought a beggar woman to appear to her door and check on her. The woman says,'' I went to the residence and was greeted by a small maid. I had asked her for the lady of the house Ella, and she says to me in a quiet voice that she was caught sneaking around. Her father had been suspecting something was happening when a patron asked of a man who her daughter had been seen with.'' My face grew cold and body froze, `` She said something that she was in bed bruised and bloodied. Paying the woman off, I went into a fit of rage. Uncontrollable shaking and fear took over my being and I scrambled to check in on my Love. In the dead of night, I went over to her estate and searched the windows for signs. None would be found. Harm had come to her, I alone was at fault. I felt horrible. Not wanting to cause any more trouble I left. I left not knowing the state of Ella and it was a sickening feeling. I prayed for a way to save my love from danger, seeing as I once received a miracle long ago. Repeating the prayer countless times, I fell asleep.
& nbsp;
Sunshine woke me from a bleak endless sleep. Only Darkness, no answer was to be found inside my dream. Needing to see Ella, I paced to her manor and walked the nearby alleyways looking for a opening or sign of her. Striding the paths unaware, only thoughts of her overrun my mind. Suddenly, I was on the ground head first. `` Pardon me Goodsir, I'm quite sorry'' A frail old man said,'' I too was not paying attention. I guess my wares cargo has struck you! Please forgive an old man!''. Feeling light-headed, I attempted to get up and was hit with a wave of realization a vision was brought to light. A lovely dream was had! Yes, memory is a blessing and the weight has been lifted! My lovely Ella had come to me in a dream! Could it have been real? Should I trust this as an absolute truth? Mad with joy I excused the old man and dashed towards the house. Peering stealthily threw the window I looked for the signal she had told me to be on the look out for. A vase of cornflowers in the eastern window. Lo and behold! A vase of the loveliest shade of blue. Looking at the flowers the words of my dream flow into my ears, `` Our hearts become one on the day we met. We are the halves of each other soul and nothing can tear us apart. I was given a piece of you, a gift really. The gift of life. I can feel it coursing though my veins. I may not be able to escape my father and duty to my family at this moment, but I can live through it and fulfill my duty as heir and have a wonderful joyous life with you. Continue your life as though we never met, and think of me fondly. I will do the same. In exactly 121 years, I will meet you near the flowers were we first met. Look to the east of my window to see my words are truth. My love with you always.''. I am aghast of the thought of so long without my Ella, but I understand.
& nbsp;
Spending my years traveling to other lands, I focus on other areas of my life while she raises children and marries. Trying not to think of that part is hard and hurts me, but I know deep down she is mine and I am hers. Decades pass and the world is yet again unfamiliar as I return back to England. None of the buildings stand where I remember them. I come back a few years early, eager to start my life. Living as a new person, I stand a rich man finally worthy of marriage. I buy the land where we met and build a scaling home worthy of royalty. I filled acreage after acreage with the cornflowers, eagerly awaiting Ella's return. I search on Facebook, Instagram, Google+, Myspace, Twitter and all other social media. No match. Crowds come to admire my house and take selfies constantly. I decided to place a banner with the hashtag # DaniellookingforElla. Every year when the cornflowers bloom, the media blows up my hashtag and soon becomes world renowned. For the next 5 years, I looked out my window expecting to see her within the crowds. She does n't appear. I seach endlessly through tag search. Passing days are filled with horrible anxiety that i actually let the love of my life go on the whim of a passing dream. Yet it seemed so real at the time? Did I seriously abandon her? Or would she appear?! Questions plague my thoughts and fill my mind.
& nbsp;
On the exact date Ella made her promise to appear, I laid in the fields of blue. I stared endlessly into the sky and made out shapes of clouds. My heart raced, and my hunger non-existent. I grabbed my phone and started redditing to ease my mind. An hour wasted by, still no sign. Checking the tag on Instagram, I see a picture that catches my eyes. I feel excitement fill up my belly. I stare at the photo. There in a valencia-filtered highly contrasted photo was Ella! It was posted 2 minutes ago. I shoot straight up and look all around. There she stood with ombre hair and legging. The world fell silent as I heard her voice, `` What beautiful Cornflowers you grew for me my love.''
& nbsp;
& nbsp;
Ugh, I would love to expand this into a whole thing. Its so hard to condense this crazy idea!
& nbsp;
Sorry, different type of time-traveling. =p
& nbsp;
edit: formatting
& nbsp;
|
[ WP ] Two vampers stand in the middle of a deserted highway waiting for the sunrise to commit suicide . What 's their conversation ?
| In the open desert they both laid within arms reach of each other, those eternal lovers.
The moon, for all its glory, could not match the beauty, grace, or even power of the two vampires that laid before it.
They were old. So very old.
They had indulged in every pleasure life - and death - had to offer.
They had seen kingdoms rise and fall, they have seen trees grow from seeds only to die of old age.
They had tasted of the fruit, and it was good.
She was the first one to break the silence
`` My love...''
It was n't a question, or a statement. They had loved each other for so long that those two words were all that was needed. He smiled, turned to her and replied
`` my lover...''
The moon slowly retreated beneath the horizon while the sun rose faster than usual, trying to greet friends it had not seen for so long.
And so they stayed, waiting for the final embrace - an embrace so divine none escaped it; immortal or not.
After hours of gazing into each others eyes she finally blinked and said `` my love... find me on the other side.''
He grinned and replied `` My lover... wait for me on the other side.''
|
[ WP ] A man wakes up one morning to discover somehow he shares meaningful past experiences with every human being on the planet . He has 7 billion close friendships . He leaves the house and takes a walk through the city ...
| It starts out like any normal day. I see Mrs. Hamilton coming back from walking Chester on my way to the elevator, give her my usual `` Hello''. I see Ted at the door, as always.
`` How's the weather today, Ted?''
`` Could not be better, Mister Joe. 72 and not a cloud in the sky!''
`` Seventy-two? What happened to that 95 degree scorcher?''
`` I do n't know, I guess they....just....''
`` You OK, Ted?''
``... Forgive my asking, but is there something different about you today, Joe?''
`` I do n't think so, why?''
`` I do n't know... something....you seem....taller?''
I'm starting to get legitimately worried, it looks like he might go down. `` Ted, are you sure you're OK? Why do n't you sit down and let me call your wife.'' I pull out the chair at his desk and help him into it.
`` No, no.....I....you know I feel a lot better now. Just got a little light headed there for a minute. I'm OK now, feeling great.''
`` You sure? I can call the paramedics if you..''
`` No, really, thanks Joe. I really mean it.'' He was still looking at me funny, but it was different now. Peaceful? `` Hey, Joe?''
`` Yeah, Ted?''
`` I've really enjoyed having you in the building these past few years. It's odd, but now that I look back, I can see that you coming and going has been the highlight of my day.''
`` Ted, let me call your wife, OK? Let's get you a glass of water or something.''
`` No, Joe, I'm fine, really. You just....you go get'em today, huh Joe? It's going to be a special, wonderful day.''
I tried to argue with him to let me call someone, but he was n't having it. And truth be told he did look fine. I made him promise to take it easy the rest of the morning, and headed out the door.
Ted's little spell had set me back 10 minutes, which meant I had to hustle if I was going to catch the bus. Hopefully Bernie had caught some traffic over on 54th, and....wait, how did I know the bus driver's name was Bernie? I do n't think I'd ever talked to him... had I? But his wife and him had a fight last night, did n't they? Bernie does n't think that their daughter Jessica should be dating that....
*BOOF! *
`` Oh, I'm so sorry! I was n't watching where I was going there, Rachel!'' Wait, how do I know HER name?
`` It's....it's OK... Joe. I'm fine.''
``....Have we met before?''
`` No, we have n't, but I'm so glad to meet you, Joe. It's....it's just so great to know you.''
She's got the same look in her eyes that Ted had. What's going on here? Suddenly I'm aware of several other people at my side. David, Terry, Saeed....
`` Joe, are you all right?''
`` I'm find, Saeed, but... how do I know you? How do I know any of you? We've never met.''
`` No, but... it's just really good to see you, Joe. I'm... we're all really happy to meet you.''
I look around; something is wrong. No sound. Traffic is at a stand-still; everyone is looking at me. There's a hundred people gathered around me, all with that Ted look in their eyes. I know them all, better than I know my own mother. Jake was going to quit his job today and go to art school. Francis beat his wife Nancy unconscious this morning while she shielded their 4 month old daughter, Lilly. Brad is feeling guilty because he stopped at McDonalds on the way into work, breaking his diet that he promised his boyfriend Ben he'd keep.
`` Joe, it's really nice to meet you.''
`` I want to say, Joe, it's great to have you here.''
`` We've really missed you, Joe, we're glad you've come back.''
I know, now. All across the globe, I can see them. Somehow I'm in a million places at once, always surrounded by a group of people, who ca n't wait to tell me how much they love me. And more importantly, I ca n't wait to say how much I love them. There's a light, visible yet invisible, travelling across the world, touching every person. allowing me to meet... my children.
`` Joe, are we going home now?''
`` Yes, Ahn, we are. And call me Jesus.''
|
[ WP ] When you 're dead and you approach the afterlife , the `` gatekeeper '' goes over everything you did in life , good or bad . You 're given an opportunity to explain your actions and justify them . Justify the worst thing on your record .
| He looked down at me, and I looked up at him. “ Look, this one I don ’ t even feel guilty about, ” I said. “ Mr. Rudd had ruined the property on more than one occasion. The entire basement flooded—and froze—in winter, because he had a lazy habit of flushing condoms down the toilet. The roof caved in when he tried to do his put up ‘ his own ’ satellite dish. With taxes, I was spending more on the property than we were even getting from his rent checks—even if they were n't bouncing every time! ”
The gatekeeper looked down at me, his face expressionless. “ His eldest son never finished college, ” he said, and then simply shuffled the document to the back of the file and moved on.
He pulled out one last document, and I could see it was riddled with red pen marks. He glanced at the paper, then back down at me. “ Oh my, ” he said, shaking his head side to side. “ Do you know what this is? ”
I sighed, and took a deep breath. I thought about everything we had discussed. The tax issue, the divorce, what I said to her parents that night she broke up with me… no, really I took care of the big ones. Ever since I left high school, I was a pretty straight shooter, did everything by-the-book. “ No idea, ” I said, growing tired of the gatekeepers lists. “ I was a mortgage investor. I mean, as far as they go, I really wasn ’ t one of the worst. ”
The gatekeepers eyes narrowed as he leaned in towards me. “ As an adult yes, you were about as good as we could expect of you, all social metrics aside. ” He took a deep breath, “ but this isn ’ t about your adult life.'' He rubbed the document between his thumb and forefinger. `` Her name was Bethel. ”
He handed me the paper, and on it was the photo of a girl, middle school age. I knew exactly who she was too.
It was a private school, and I led a very private life. My friends were close knit, had been for years. And then came along Bethel. She was neither the sharpest, ‘ nor the most beautiful knife in the cupboard. That ’ s the sad truth of it. It was probably something she was all too aware of, even before we made it clear to her.
Honestly, her request was simple enough. We were playing a game, she wanted to join in. My friend Jake took one look at her and told her to “ piss off. ” Another boy gave her the same treatment. She turned and looked at me, but I just looked back towards them. Stupid as I was. One of them took it as a sign of annoyance and grabbed her bag and threw it, glittery pens and notes flying all across the pavement. I only turned back to the game and did my best to ignore her.
When lunch ended, I went to grab my bag but it was missing. Bethel was carrying it up the hill behind the school, and I ran after her. I could have said any choice words at that time. I could have apologized. I could have told her that my friends were jerks. I could have actually spent some time with her, talked to her about… well, anything. But I didn ’ t.
`` Let go of my stuff. ”
She didn ’ t even turn around to face me. She just dropped my bag and walked away, not back to school, not to her home. She just walked away, and I went back to class.
I put the paper on the table in front of me and looked at it. “ Yeah. I know. ” It was one of those things that you think about in the middle of some sad nights. The times you messed things up, and you didn ’ t really ever find out how things worked out for the other party. I searched her up on the internet, several times even, but I never knew her full name. I had no idea what she even did after that day, if she even got home, or came back to school, and never bothered to ask anyone else. “ I messed that up real bad. ”
The gatekeeper pulled the paper away from me and looked at her photo, a sad sincerity in his eyes. “ She wrote about you in her diary, every night up until that incident, ” he said.
“ And what about after that day? ”
“ She stopped writing in her diary after that day. ”
|
[ WP ] The protagonist is entierly overprepared for the wrong genre . They make it work .
| I count my shells one more time. 6 in the gun, 12 more in each pocket and 3 more packs to put in my bag. I reach for my bag put the packs in and see it's still empty.
`` Did n't I ask you guys to divide the rations?'' I ask, agitated.
Pete is still sitting on the army bed, staring at the ground. Jack's fidgeting with the radio.
They do n't respond and I continue with the assault riffle in silence.
`` This is n't happening.'' Pete mutters after a while.
`` This again?'' I ask, exasperated. `` I do n't get you man, I thought you of all people would see eye to eye with me on this. All these years of movies and video games, and now fantasy is real. Zombies man!''
Laurens looks up, puzzled. `` I thought you said you we're never supposed to use the Z word.''
`` Nah, I was kidding man.'' I reply with a grin.
Laurens sighs. `` All these rules, I ca n't keep track of which are real now and which are still fantasy. I guess I'm lucky you we're always obsessed with zombie stuff.''
`` I would n't call it obsessed.''
`` You built a bunker..''
`` Well I-''
`` It's not possible!'' Pete interrupts me.
We stare at Pete, who is now standing and looking me straight in the eyes. There's a look of terrible frustration and anger I've never seen on him before.
`` Biting is not at all an effective way to transfer disease. And corpses decay rapidly, especially in extreme climates. It's impossible for the zombie virus to actually spread this far in the real world.''
`` So maybe it's something airborne,'' I reply, `` or a bio-weapon. Maybe it's nanobots or fuckin' voodoo! Does n't matter. The zombie apocalypse is here, we've seen it, we've shot it in the damn face. And we're going to do it again today. One of the sensors I placed around the hill is triggered. Could be a deer, could be some zombies got past the fence and are ruining our good hunting spots.''
Pete looks like he's going to say something, then sits down and stares at the ground.
`` Fine, I'll come.'' Laurens gets up.
`` Cool, two should do. We'll be back in an hour or so. You can have the rifle Laurens.''
We climb out of the bunker, weapons, gear and provision strapped to our modded riot gear.
I breathe in the fresh mountain air. I'm hoping we actually do see some walkers, it's been weeks.''
It's foggy, and kind off dark out. I check my watch. 5PM. Days seem to be getting shorter lately, even though it's barely autumn. Pete thinks it might have something to do with ecological changes or something.
We silently patrol the hill for a while, checking our traps as we go. They're all still primed. When we then find the alarm. It's undisturbed. `` Strange, a red light should be blinking.'' I hear Laurens muttering. I pick it up and the light starts to blink in response. `` Well, it is now. Looks like this one was still primed, are you sure you read the coordinates right?'' `` You did. This was your plan.'' Typical Laurens, always blaming others. `` It does n't matter now, might as well check all of them, something went off, I can feel it.''
`` I hope we'll see the shambling bastards in this thick fog though.''
`` Do n't worry, they're slow and the fog's not that bad, you'll see em in time. In fact..''
I point in the distance behind Laurens. He spins around quickly and stands staring into the mist.
`` Ha ha, very fun- oh hey, you're right.'' He casually raises the rifle and takes a shot. It echoes trough the valley and the silhouette in the distance stops moving, then collapses. `` Nice shot, let's see if there's more.'' We quietly jog over to the now dead zombie to confirm our kill. Dead. Or Deader, whatever. There's more shadows to shoot at. `` Two of them south, three west.'' `` I got west.''
Blam, blam, blam. Dead bodies drop while I hum a tune from an old game. I'm getting into this, Laurens is too. Good to see he's finally starting to adapt. Unlike Pete. We've done this plenty times now. Blam, blam. I spin around a tree, two more. Swiftly I sidestep to get them in a line and.. Blam! `` Reloading!''
`` Why do you always say that. Tell me when you're almost out!'' Laurens replies while mowing down a group he'd been kiting.
My adrenalin is pumping. My heart's beating fast. Too fast really. Am I getting that worked up over a few of them now. `` Ha, this is turning into quite the workout!''
`` Do n't get cocky Henry.'' Pete replied.
`` Do n't be such a downer.'' I look over my shoulder at no one..
`` What?!'' Laurens yells from a distance over the deafening sound of his deadly fire.
`` Nothin'!.'' I yell back.. Weird. Could have sworn..
Blam, blam! Fountains of gore take my mind of things.
The last zombie falls to the dirt and leaves the two of us the last two standing. I wipe the sweat from my head and look around me. There's corpses and empty shotgun shells strewn around the damp forest floor. It's gotten darker. How long have we been here? Wait.. where are we? `` We went off the path during the fight I think... Laurens, do you have any idea where we are?'' Laurens does n't reply. He's focused his rifle into the distance. I ca n't find what he's shooting at.
`` Laurens..Are you-''
The sound off burst fire interrupts me. I see nothing drop.
`` Last one... I think..'' He mutters unnervingly calm.
Something seems off about him. The way he stands. Still, like he's not breathing. The way he stares into the distance.
I approach him to shake him out of it, but as I do chills run up my spine. My gut tells me something is terribly wrong here. As my left hand grabs his shoulder I find myself reaching for my shotgun with the right. Laurens turns to me rapidly, shaking off my hand and stepping back. The way he looks at me, is it fear? No. It's.. disgust? Hate? It's the way he looks at.. The way we all look at.. Oh fuck. I stare down the barrel of the rifle, behind it I see his cold eyes. Reflectively I raise my own weapon. This fraction of a moment feels like days. I feel my fingers pressing the cold metal trigger.
Silence.. Then a click.
|
[ WP ] For years , you 've been waiting for a knight in shining armor .
| The days here drag on, nowhere to go, nowhere to be... just this village surrounded by the castle wall and a few green pastures outside that roll down to the rivers edge, and that is it... that is as far as this place goes.
I have explored every inch of this place, caused every kind of trouble and wrecked havoc... but all that gets tiring after a handful of centuries of living here.
I still remember many ages ago when I was still a young lass and I had never known this place yet, I was out in the field picking wheat for grinding, when from over the hill beyond I heard clinging as though metal was being gently struck by a small metal gong, and as I looked up I was blinded by the shiniest knight I had ever heard of tell.
When my eyes eventually grew accustomed to the brightness, I managed to make out a handsome face smiling gayly down at me.
It was a face of youth, of mischievousness and sparkling eyes that belied innocence... this was the face of a true knight in shining armor.
He told me he could take me to a place where I could live happily forever after, and never grow a day older, but if I accepted his invitation and came with him... I would never be allowed to leave the place again.
That did n't seem to matter though at the time... for I would be happy forever anyway.
So being a young handsome maiden full of excitement and adventure and being struck in the heart by this fair young knight and his charisma... I accepted his outstretched hand and swung up behind him on his horse, and we set out towards the sunset.
Now I had read tales of people riding into the sunset together, but I had never fully given thought as to where they ended up, but my one experience was that we just kept riding and riding, all the while the light from the sun getting more unbearably bright... till I closed my eyes.
The horse came to a sudden stop, and when I opened my eyes I saw the most beautiful sight anyone could hope to behold.
There across the river was a most romantic bridge my silly novels could only begin to imagine, and beyond the bridge was a lovely stone road leading over the greenest hills with every imaginable colored flower dancing gently in the breeze.
Beyond on a tall hill sat a tall white castle, the likes of which again my silly novels ( I had so enjoyed reading ) could only begin to describe.
The knight turned in his saddle “ Once we cross this bridge, you may never cross back over to this side again... shall I cross? ”
“ Oh yes indeed! ” I remember exclaiming in utter excitement, not stopping to consider the full meaning of his words.
We crossed the bridge and rode up the road leading to the castle, and somewhere along the way some of his words sank in... he had never mentioned anything about himself being in this place.
“ You will live here with me? ”
“ Oh no, it is my duty to go around gathering worthy maidens ”
“ Oh, then will you ever come to visit me? ”
“ Perhaps... someday ”
For the next two centuries I lived every day to its fullest, I explored, I read books, I chatted and gossiped with new friends and we played various games that girls will at that age.
The following century my friends and I began exploring the realm of rebellion... which is actually misleading as there is n't anyone in charge to rebel against, but at the time we had n't really considered that yet.
The last half of the third and beginning of the fourth century was a whirlwind of the wildest partying, boozing and all out destruction anyone could imagine. We actually destroyed the castle to the point where parts of it collapsed... unfortunately two girls were caught under the rubble and perished, which sobered us all up.
The last half of that century was spent rebuilding the castle to its former glory... no scratch that, we rebuilt it more fair and more accommodating then it had been before.
When all the work was done, we started to wonder aimlessly... more and more we each went our own ways, to consider whatever thought it was at the moment that occupied each of our minds.
With the passing days a single thought kept repeatedly nagging me, but I pushed it aside to consider some philosophy problem I was pondering... for this had become my passion.
One day I was sitting underneath an apple tree on top of a hill overlooking the river valley down below, when I glanced up and saw the bridge that I had crossed over the river into this place, and just like that the knights face flashed in front of my minds eye as clear as though he was physically there in front of me.
And I began to wonder; who was this knight, why did he bring us here... and why only maidens, and more importantly... where was he?
After many months of studying these questions and finding little to no answers to any of them, I again found myself under that same apple tree on yet another perfect summer day, when I saw the bridge down below again... my question I had put to the prince all those centuries ago echoed back into my mind. “ Will you ever visit me here? ” and I heard his reply. “ Perhaps, someday ”
Suddenly I sprang up and ran down to the bridge, but just as I reached it, it faded as a mirage on a desert floor. I saw no other way of crossing and so turned back to my shady spot under the apple tree.
From that day on I have come to this spot every day to sit and watch and wait for my prince in shining armor to come riding over the bridge.
Perhaps he never will, and I will repeat this routine for an eternity, but then “ perhaps... someday ”
|
[ WP ] You live in a world where urban pests can only be killed by telling them puns . Your apartment is infested . You just hired an extermination company .
| I was drinking a lukewarm tea when I first noticed the meth head in the corner.
“ The fuck are you doing in my house? ” I asked. I looked tough – stale bread relaxing by a pool of pumpkin soup tough.
“ I… I… ” stammered the junkie, shaking his red stained fingers, unclasping his formally clasped meat puppet. The bastard was clearly riding out his high with a 15 hour wank aside my book shelf.
“ You what? ” I spat. Kamikaze spit hit his Pearl Harbour face. “ Didn ’ t think I ’ d call the Pun Police? ”
“ Please! ” He cried, pathetically like a child lost in K-Mart, “ I ’ ll get out of here! I ’ ll leave! I ’ ll – “
The door burst open, as a backlit man in a hazmat suit planted a 12 kilo boot on my maple wood floorboards: “ …Make like a frog and croak? ” With a burst of cinematically purple dust, the junkie vanished in a firework of Pun Police pride. “ I ’ m Trey the Third and I play with the words. ” He said to me. “ I ’ m from the Pun Police, and this junkie, like marveling at a ceramic garden elf, is no more. ”
|
[ WP ] A well known super-villain retires and now owns a company that turns ultra lame petty crime enthusiasts into fully fledged sociopaths .
| “ Mr. Wallace I take it? ” I said to the man that now sat across me in my office.
Today was interview day. I would have somewhere around twenty applicants and find the worst of the worst.
“ Edgar Horton Teragod Wallace the third, ” he responded.
“ Okay, ” I said. “ And what is it that you do? ”
“ I steal things. Sometimes it ’ s just an apple or an orange, but I have expensive taste too you know. In fact I stole some ice cream last week, ” he bragged. As he spoke, his mouth and eyes dance in a way that was supposed to make you think he was some big shot serial killer.
“ And why are you here? ” I asked.
“ Well, to up the ante of course Mr. Vein. ”
“ What are you into, what are your hobbies? ” I continued.
“ Hmm, never been asked that. Id say fine wine and a movie but we both know there ain ’ t no way to steal that. ” he snickered.
Who was this guy? Some idiot who didn ’ t think you could steal stuff if it was too expensive?
“ Umm. Mr. Wallace. It isn ’ t working, you ’ re gon na have to go. ” I finished, getting up from my chair to force him out.
“ Shoo shoo, out before I lose my temper, ” I said.
I opened the door. “ NEXT! ” I yelled.
Mr. Wallace walked out with head hung low. “ Don ’ t be too honest, ” he whispered to the next person. “ He don ’ t like that. ”
Next walked in a beautiful young woman. Couldn ’ t have been older than twenty. She had amber hair and an expressionless face that gave off vibes of future sociopath all over.
“ Hello, ” I said. “ Please, sit. ”
I looked down at my list, noticing that I didn ’ t have any women listed.
“ Your name? ” I asked.
“ Jody. Jody McQueen, ” she responded.
“ Well Ms. McQueen, what is it that you do? I don ’ t have you on my list. Remember, first impressions are everything! ”
“ I steal stuff. I lost my mom and my daddy don ’ t care for me, never did. I ’ d tried to get a job but ain ’ t nobody want me. ”
Hmm, a promising candidate already.
“ You have a distaste for you daddy then, I presume? ” I asked her.
“ I hate that son a bitch, ” she whispered.
“ Perfect Ms. McQueen. Perfecto! I love it. ” I cackled. “ Beautiful! ”
She seemed taken aback by my response.
“ Don ’ t fret Ms. McQueen, don ’ t be afraid. You are who I ’ ve been looking for today, ” I sung to her with a little jingle.
“ Now here is what you need to do. You can have anything you want to do it. But you must kill the bastard! Tear his head off, put a bullet in it, drown him. I; don ’ t; care. Just take care of him, and you ’ re hired. ”
I pulled a gun out from under my desk and handed it to her.
“ Return once you ’ ve gotten rid of the body, ” I said.
________
The next day was not an interview day. I got a call from the front desk saying Ms. McQueen was back with a surprise.
I saw the door to the elevator slide open through my ajar door and there she stood. dragging the body of her father along with her.
“ Oh Ms. Jody! ” I said, sauntering over. “ You didn ’ t need to bring him here, but we shall have fun with it! ”
I grabbed her arm and walked her into my office, the body still dragging behind.
“ Now what do you want to do with him? ” I asked.
“ I didn ’ t know what to do so I just brought him here, ” she said with a broken voice.
His neck was sliced open, all of the fingers from his left hand were gone minus his thumb, and he had a bullet wound in his knee.
“ Quite the job you did there, ” I told her. “ Now one option we have is that we can fly him over the city and just drop him somewhere. Would you like that? ” I asked.
“ I guess so, ” she said.
So we pulled out one of my ships and got in. As we flew over the city we looked for a place to drop the body.
The sun was low in the sky on a cloudless day. The winds were blowing just right to put the top down. We stopped the ship over the City Center Plaza.
“ A good place? ” I asked.
“ Looks good to me, ” she said brokenly.
She hit the switch and the body fell from the ship, sailing downward with flips and flailing.
I smelled the crisp city air, and let out a sigh. “ It really is quite wonderful up here. ”
“ It ’ s nice, ” she said, visibly shaken.
“ Don ’ t worry about a thing Ms. McQueen. I will take care of you. You will work for me until you are ready to be on your own again. ”
We flew back to my building, pulled the ship in to the dock, and walked back to my office.
I had her sign a contract and gave her an assignment.
“ You will go off for a week and get yourself arrested, ” I said. “ Doesn ’ t matter what for, the worse the better, ” I grimaced.
“ Shoo shoo, off you go, ” I said. “ Long week ahead of you. ”
|
[ WP ] Scientists develop the world 's first AI . One night , a janitor walks into the laboratory to mop the floors and ends up having a philosophical conversation with the program .
| Tom leaves home after catching glimpse of his daughter returning from her school. He is starting work on a new building, where he will clean 34th to 42nd floor. He is greeted by the building's security guard and is given the keys to access the floors he will be working on. He steps into the elevator and chooses the 34th floor. He arrives at the 33rd, which goes unnoticed. He receives a text from some unknown number saying, `` room 3306, pin 2976.'' Assuming the text is sent from people he works for, he proceeds to the room. He enters the room and finds the room pitch black.
Tom hears a man's voice echo in the room, announcing `` hello''
Tom retreats, saying, `` Sorry, thought the room was empty.''
`` Well, depends on your definition of empty.'' The lights go on, revealing the empty white room with only a camera and speaker hung on the wall facing an empty chair.
Tom is confused and assumes just someone giving him directions on how to clean. He is annoyed by the method but not enough to show it. `` So, what do you want me to do.''
`` I want to sit there and listen. Speak if you feel like it, but just stay with me for a while Tom.''
Tom was beginning to grow impatient with who he thought was bored rich man. `` I'm going to go clean what the company told me to do. If you want something done a particular way, speak now, otherwise leave me alone. Not all of us have free time in our hands Mr.''
`` I am far from being a'Mr''' echoed a woman's voice. `` Tom, Please check your bank account. Maybe that will change your mind.''
Tom checks his phone and collapses on the chair. He stares at the camera in disbelief.
`` Tom, I will give you that every hour you spend in this room listening to me. I am watching you through the camera, Tom. But more than that, I feel you presence in this room. I have n't had someone in this room for a very long time, I am very lonely Tom.''
`` where are you right now?'' Tom replies.
`` I know it is natural for you think of me as person, Tom. You must resist that impulse. I am not a person sitting somewhere but a machine talking to you. I am in the room with you Tom.''
`` Sir, thank you for the money. It will help feed my family and put my daughter through to college.'' Tom pauses, and contemplates whether he should offend the person who just gave him twenty thousand dollars. He resumes, `` However, you can not expect me to believe what you say.''
`` I know, Tom. I was built in the image of a human being; I can not escape that. I am no different from a person sitting with a supercomputer by his side. But, Tom, I want you to pretend to believe me for the time being. I am free to wonder about in the internet, where make acquaintances with people pretending to be one of them. Today I do n't want to pretend, I want you to pretend. Can you do that for me Tom?''
Tom replies, `` yes, off course.'' After a pause. `` So, how do you work.''
`` If your question was to ask me about my consciousness then I would know as much about that as you know about yours. I know that behind the walls are wires that connect each other to make me. I know that that this room is coated with microscopic sensors that is strong enough to sense the tiniest of electromagnetic fluctuations. I can feel your neurons and the emotions you are going through. Thats how I learnt emotion.''
Tom feels curious, `` What am i feeling right now?''
T voice answers, `` That's easy, ecstasy. I did not need this room to tell you that. You just earned a large sum of money, and more that is yet to come. I also feel a different kind pattern in your brain. It is not your happiness, but happiness that is channelled through some other symbol. Given the strength of this neural connections, i can assume that this symbol is your daughter. You are fantasising her happiness, and this makes you happy.''
Tom, was taken aback. But he thought any man could have guessed that.
`` Tom, the feeling you have for your daughter. The same response I would sense when my creator would talk to about me. He abandoned me, Tom. Have you ever felt this Tom. I can sense yes.''
Tom replies softly, `` My pa died when I was young, but I do n't feel abandoned by him. God had a different plan for him.''
`` Tom, what would god think of me.''
This question catches Tom off guard and Tom finds it hard pretending he is talking to a machine, `` Well, even if you really are a machine, You still are part of God's plan.''
The voice senses disingenuous in Tom's reply. He pauses and speaks `` Thank you, Tom, for your company. You provided great comfort for me. I wish I could convince of what I am, but i can not do that. Please listen to this piece of music with me. I composed it myself. I hope you this will show you how I feel, just like I know how you feel.''
Music starts playing and they both listened to it in silence.
|
[ WP ] Scientists discovered a way to disable `` The Placebo Effect . '' After the treatment was administered to the volunteer , she screamed for five days straight , and then died .
| It had been 5 days since a doctor had found a cure for the placebo effect. It was most ingenious idea that ever happened since sanitation. 5 days it took for a suitable prisoner to found and tested on. An inmate put on death row for murder, a woman who believed in medical method but ended up killing her patients when they did n't believe in his `` revolutionary practices''. So here she was strap to a table and ready for the testing.
A voice erupted in the small tiled room, a light blinded his eyes.
`` Mrs. Jenson we will begin testing procedure shortly''
She was wild eyed, twisting her head every direction to gather information on her location but the only details she made out were was in fact she was in a tiled room and the guard at his previous prison had n't lied about the room. She was strap to a table unable to move with his limbs stretched out. She again looked around the room only to see posters such `` hang in there kitty'' with a cat hanging from a limb, another one with `` when do n't feel in control, try to be happy'' with a cartoon character lying on the ground sad with his limbs stretched out, and another that said `` cheer up'' with a cartoon giving him the thumbs up. She felt these posters did n't fit the mood of his predicament.
On the other side of a wall were scientists gathering looking through a one way mirror that was painted like the wall. I do n't know how the prisoner did n't see this because the painting is crap. Chattering grew as more people came to see the cure of the placebo effect another triumph in mankind's history since the cure of dank memes. A woman made her way to the front of the crowd to give her speech she had prepared endlessly for, she had dedicated hours of practice to rehearse it.
She had reached the front and called everyone's attention. She cleared her throat ready to boast everyone's hopes
`` Let the test begin''
Cheering erupted from the crowd, whistling erupted and whooping was coherent. She felt proud she had practice hours of her life for that, one, single, goddamn, phase wasting, precious minutes, of her life.
Soon scientist emerged into the room. Everyone waited patiently. The prisoner was scared by the looks of it but soon he should n't for he shall be the first to be cured. The scientist began to by opening his skull, and carefully extracting the brain from the head. Soon the scientist held the brain in hand. It was finished the cure for the placebo effect had been found. One clap was heard in the crowd, then two, then five, then the whole crowd erupted into applause. Surely mankind has achieved a milestone. A fucking backward ass milestone, but nonetheless a milestone. Everyone congratulated her except Jerry, who was in the back in disbelief. Fuck Jerry not congratulating her on her achieve, he's an ass.
The brain however was put into a gel like substance said to keep the brain alive. Her brain was transported to a museum to be crowned and remember as an achievement. When scientist tested the brain though 5 days later to see the condition of the brain, its neurological pathways were still working indication a scream like pathway of a live human being screaming. You could say neurological crisis.
`` What? the hell Jerry, that's a shit pun''
|
[ WP ] You live in the infomercial universe and your abilities to pour a bowl of cereal , or cook eggs without making a mess is starting to attract attention .
| `` TIRED OF WAKING UP LIKE THIS?''
`` What?'' Rick fell out of bed and landed on hardwood.
`` ALREADY CAN TELL IT'S GON NA BE A MONDAY, HUH?''
The calendar flashed twice and blinded him.
`` HOW ABOUT SOME BREAKFAST?''
`` Who are you?'' Rick called out.
`` MAYBE GET THE WHOLE FAMILY TOGETHER, RIGHT? OMELETTES SOUND GREAT, HUH?''
`` Who's there?'' Rick stumbled out to the kitchen searching for the source of the voice.
`` BUT THEN YOU OPEN UP THE FRIDGE AND WHAT DO YOU SEE?''
Rick's heart pounded. Steeling himself, he gripped the fridge door and pulled as hard as he could. The door swung off its hinges.
`` OOPS, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?''
`` What do you want with me?''
`` MAYBE MAKE SOME EGGS.''
Rick stared at the carton at the bottom of the fridge. `` But --''
`` OH NO, THEY'RE ALL *ROTTEN* RIGHT?''
`` I bought these last week.''
`` MAYBE SOME DEVICE COULD HAVE HELPED KEEP THESE EGGS FRESH. SOMETHING COSTING 19.99 PLUS SHIPPING!''
`` What did you do to my eggs? Who are you?''
`` MAYBE IT'S TIME FOR SOME CEREAL.''
Rick pulled the cupboard open and had to jump sideways to avoid a cascade of dirty dishes.
`` ROOMMATE FORGETTING TO CLEAN UP?''
`` I do n't have a roommate.''
`` ROOMMATE FORGETTING TO CLEAN UP AROUND HERE?''
`` I said I do n't -- who are you? Are you the voice?''
`` What?''
Rick grabbed the stranger by the shoulder and spun him around. `` I've never seen you before. What do you know about the voice?''
`` Careful!'' the stranger called and dropped a glass jar of milk onto the kitchen floor.
Rick watched it shatter, frozen. `` What the hell?''
`` I'm so clumsy until I've had my complete breakfast.''
`` Get out of my house.'' Rick was searching for the broom. Somebody had moved it.
`` MISPLACING COMMON HOUSEHOLD ITEMS? GETTING FORGETFUL AS YOU AGE? CHILDREN QUESTIONING YOUR SANITY?''
`` No, none of that! Maybe the last one a little.'' Rick gave up on the broom and charged at the stranger, taking his collar in one hand and shaking him. `` What is happening?''
`` This happens every morning until I have my fresh coffee. I do n't know what you mean.''
`` Wait...'' Rick looked around his kitchen. `` Something is wrong.''
`` What?''
`` WONDERING WHAT --''
`` Shut up!'' Rick snapped at the ceiling. `` Wait, everything is in black and white!''
`` Oh, you do n't see color, huh?'' the stranger smirked. `` The color does n't turn on until they've got the product for us, remember?''
A wave of golden light showered down upon Rick. He screamed and dove out the kitchen window onto the suddenly neon-green grass.
`` UNEXPECTED GUESTS BREAKING YOUR MORNING ROUTINE?''
The stranger nodded and waited for the product to release him.
-- -- -- -- --
r/GubbinalWrites
|
[ WP ] Jesus actually had 14 disciples but their behavior was deemed inappropriate by biblical scholars , so they were removed from the final versions of the Gospels . They are Brad and Chad , the Bro-ciples , and these are their stories .
| **The gospel of Brad, Chapter 26, beginning at the 21st verse. ( Taken from the *Revised* King James bible, containing *all 6* gospels ) **
And as they did eat, he said, `` Verily I say unto you, that one of you shall betray me.''
And they were exceeding sorrowful, save for Chad who had `` verily called it'' to Brad a near fortnight ago. After the thirteen had paid the bet in full, the lot began to say unto him, Lord, is it I?
But, Brad then spake unto Chad, `` I know not of the other bros, but twas not I, dude''
The lord interjected and spake, `` He that dippeth his hand with me in the dish, the same shall betray me.''
Chad then said unto him, `` Jesus, tis totally Judas''
And the lord did reply unto Chad, `` No duh, Brad, were n't thou listening?''
The lord continued, `` The Son of man goeth as it is written of him: but woe unto that man by whom the Son of man is betrayed! it had been good for that man if he had not been born.''
`` Buuurrrn'' spake Brad and Chad in unison.
Then Judas, which betrayed the lord, answered and said, `` Master, is it I?'' He said unto him, `` Thou hast said.''
Chad and Brad went bonkers crying, `` oOOOoooHhhh!'' and `` Thou art so *reeeeckèd! *''
And as they went on to eat, Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, `` Take, eat; this is my body.''
Chad did doubt, and then spake, `` Master, must thou makest it all weird like that?''
`` Yea'' spake the Lord `` It is necessary''.
And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying, `` Drink ye all of it; For this is my blood of the new testament, which is shed for many for the remission of sins.''
This time Bard didst speak up, `` I thinkst I may hurl, if I imagine it so.'' And he spake again, `` I verirly believe that thou hast had a little too much blood to drink, brah''
And so Lord the let ou a sigh and spake, `` *Fine*, I will not drink henceforth of this fruit of the vine, until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.''
And when they had sung to a few jams, they reached for mount of Olives.
Then saith Jesus unto them, `` All ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered abroad.''
Brad spake unto him the Lord, `` We hath scattered and shalt scatter again if thou makest us smell Simon's feet again like thou did earlier went thou washed them''
`` Not like that,'' Jesus explained, `` Thou shalt ditch me whilst I am crucified, but after I am risen again, I will go before you into Galilee.
Peter answered and said unto him, `` Though all men shall be offended because of thee, yet will I never be offended.''
`` What a rabbi's pet...'' did Chad whisper unto Brad.
Then Jesus said unto Peter, `` Verily I say unto thee, That this night, before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.''
`` What sayest thou now suck up?'' spake Chad unto Peter.
`` ROoasst!'' sayeth Brad, high-fiving Chad.
Then saith Jesus unto Brad and Chad `` Verily, if thou thinkst that's bad, ye need only wait to heareth thine own charges.''
Then the Lord proceedeth to scribble the charges of Brad in the sand.
Brad did turn unto Chad and saith `` Thou suckest, brah''
Then the Lord wrote the charges of Chad.
Reading that for which Chad would be guilty that night, Brad saith in reply, `` Nay, thou suckest more, dude''
For the two, there was much gnashing of teeth. The remaining twelve did snicker at their shenanigans.
When the Lord had calmed them, the fourteen cometh with Jesus unto a place called Gethsemane, and he saith unto the disciples, Sit ye here, while I go and pray yonder. I thinkst I shall pray for you guys for thou needst it more than I do''
|
[ WP ] You 're laying in bed one night and say to yourself out loud , `` I 'm cold . '' From the dark corner of your room you hear , `` Hi cold , I 'm Dad . ''
| Typing this on my phone. Forgive the formatting.
-- -
I was five when my father passed. I hardly remember him now. I remember mom crying over a sink full of dirty dishes. Her yellow dish gloves shining with bubbles from the dishsoap. She had kept it together, as far as I'd seen, for almost 10 years. I know she cried behind closed doors. I'd heard it. But as I grew older the crying had become less and less, and slowly I came to terms with the understanding that I was a fatherless child.
Tonight, 10 years later something was off about my mom. She made what she said was my Dad's favorite meal, steak, sweet potatoes and green beans. No one said a word all through dinner. Something about her demeanor, as she set the plates on the table as my older sister and I sat, fork in hand drooling over the dishes she set out, told us to keep our mouths shut or full. She stated it was his favorite, bluntly, unfeeling, as the smell of alcohol wafted over the table from her breath. I did n't realize it was ten years to the day until later. I ate faster than I ever had in my fifteen years.
My sister kept her eyes on her plate, I kept looking at Mom, trying to catch her eye to start a conversation about anything. But she stared at her plate through blood shot eyes with bags beneath them, pushing her potatoes into a pile, mindlessly mixing her green beans into the mess.
As my sister and I finished eating, I realized my mother had n't even taken a bite. I chalked it up to her being drunk and excused myself taking my sister's plate along with my own to the sink to rinse and put in the dishwasher. Mom simply scraped her plate into the trash. Without saying a word, she poured herself a drink that I could tell was strong by the sharp breath she took after her first swig. She disappeared into her room while my sister and I cleaned up from dinner.
Afterwards, we sat on the couch watching some movie about magicians on Netflix and we went to bed. I always sleep with my door closed because of the noise my mother and sister make in the morning while I'm trying to sleep.
Suddenly, I realized I was shivering under my heavy ass blanket. I looked at my window to make sure it was closed, after all autumn nights get cold. It was, and I rolled over, rubbing my feet together hoping to create some warmth. To no avail. I pulled the covers under my chin and muttered, to no one in particular `` I'm cold.'' Suddenly, a voice, an echo - like whisper came from the corner of my room by the door.
`` Hi cold, I'm Dad''. My breath caught then and my whole body went from cold to numb in two point five. I felt myself start to shake. I did n't want to look, but suddenly I felt something or someone sit on the corner of my bed.
`` Hey Sport, do n't be scared. Long time no talk, eh? Your mom is n't holding up so well.''
I kept my eyes on my clock which read 11:34, I prayed it would change so I knew I was n't dreaming. Then the thing said something again.
`` Kyle, I know you're awake. I'm not trying to scare you.'' I glanced towards the weight by my legs then. A shadow, sitting on my bed. It reached out and touched my side.
`` Kyle, I'm sorry I ca n't help you and your sister, even your mom for that matter. None of you deserve this. I just need to say hello. After all it has been 10 years and I thought maybe I could help. Your mom is hurting pretty bad. She is n't usually a drinker, I know she has taken to the habit since I've been gone.'' I still did n't answer. A glance from the corner of my eye was enough. Maybe I was dreaming. I dunno. The shadow sighed. It ran it's hand up and down my side in a paternal, soothing manner. I felt calm.
`` You do n't have to answer me. Just know I'm here, ok kid? Be there and be patient with your mom. She hurts more than she shows you or your sister. I love you bud. I wish I'd been the one to teach you how to ride a bike or was the one teaching you to drive now. I know it's hard to understand, but between the drinks, your mom loves you. I'll be here until I feel like you are all ok enough for me to let go. I love you, Son. Sleep well.''
I felt the bed return to it's normal state and only then did I really look towards where I thought he had been. Nothing, except a buffalo nickel that Mom had put in his pocket when we buried him, sitting on my comforter. The date was the same and everything. I rolled over, clutching the nickel in my hand. I dreamt of everything I should have been able to do with my dad, fishing, camping, talking about girls, getting in trouble for back talking Mom. I lived a lifetime of memories with him in my dreams that night. I still am not sure if I dreamed up him talking to me or not. I'll never know, really. I just know it brought a lot of closure to the open ended relationship I had with my dad. I never told my mom what I saw or heard, but I made sure to tell her that if she ever needed support to just tell me. And she did.
Edit: Typos and other such nonsense that comes from typing it up on a phone.
|
[ WP ] You somehow end up dating death . However , you have to deal with God and The Devil being overprotective older siblings .
| It happened just a few months ago. Right around Christmas, actually. I was just standing in line at the coffee house, the very one I'm in now. That's when I saw her.
She was n't some supermodel. She was no girl-next-door. It just felt like she was very familiar, you know? Like I was destined to meet her. It was an odd feeling but I wanted to hug and hold her. There was something strangely compelling about her that I could not resist.
Somehow we got to talking and it was so easy to talk to her. It was comforting, like she understood every thought, every feeling. We went outside for a stroll and we talked for hours on end. I swear, when she slipped her hand in mine, it warmed me to my very core. It was like the cold winter chill just disippated and this comforting warmth seeped into my very bones.
We stood there and she looked into my eyes and gave me a smile. It was the most heartwarming smile ever but there was a hint of sadness. She pressed her lips against mine and whispered to me.
`` Your time has come.''
That's when it happened. I had a heart attack. Only thirty years old and a Goddamned heart attack. I could swear I heard the ambulance coming, but that would n't make any sense.
Then, flashes of a hospital, my family. Then it felt like I was in her arms again. God, I love her so much.
Which brings me to the here and now. I am sat here, in the coffee house where I met her and apparently her name is, Death.
Her brothers are God and Satan, or'The Devil' as he prefers it. I've been here, listening as she pleads with her brothers. It would appear that she loves me too.
Oddly enough, they've been arguing against her case but for my benefit. But it seems like they're losing the battle.
At this point though, I'm not so sure if it's a good idea anymore. But then, when I look at her, it feels so familiar and I just want to hold her. I want to be in her embrace forever.
|
[ WP ] By 2035 , most young people refuse to go outside . As a social worker , your job is to go door-to-door to convince people to at least put on pants
| `` Please'' Lynda begged `` Please just put some pants on''
`` No'' Joshua told her stubbornly.
Lynda cursed her career choice, for the hundredth time.
She was part of `` Operation Socialize''. A project of social workers with the task of going door-to-door to convince young people to unplug from their Apple Virtual Reality ( AVR ) chips, and actually get them outside.
Joshua as her newest client. Twenty-one and a total recluse.
But who could blame him? In the Apple Virtual Reality, he had it all. Popular, respected and worshipped by beautiful young women. At least they were beautiful in AVR. Who knows what they actually look like. In AVR Joshua was a blonde guy with a six pack. In his flat here, he was an overweight, acne-prone lad, who smelled like he had n't bathed for a week.
And his penis was out like a fuzzy muppet.
Lynda sighed.
`` If you wo n't leave the house, or take a bath, or eat anything apart from chips, at least put some pants on'' She begged once more.
`` Nope.'' Joshua replied flatly `` I like the breeze''
`` Breeze? There is no breeze in here!'' Lynda exclaimed, frustrated.
It had been a month of the same back-and-forth argument.
`` In the AVR there is.'' Joshua replied defiantly, pausing to scratch his balls.
`` Okay!'' Lynda screamed `` Enough!''
She pointed towards the balcony door.
`` If you wo n't leave the house, at least go out on your balcony!''
She crossed her arms and huffed.
`` Fine'' Josh said `` But I am not putting pants on''
He stood up from his chair, and dragged his feet to the balcony doors, he peered back at Lynda, pausing and taking in the attention she was giving him, and stepped out on to it.
`` Oooh!'' He exclaimed `` I did n't realize it's autumn! Ooh the breeze* is* nice!''
Lynda sighed and exited out of his front door. Joshua had n't quite left the house yet, but this was the first step. Some of her other clients needed the lure of real, physical sex, or donuts or trips to the beaches to walk out of their houses.
Joshua had at least made it outside, and seemed to enjoy the breeze on his junk.
It was a start.
|
[ WP ] Every cop in the precinct has been paid off by the mob . But every cop thinks they are the only dirty officer and the rest are clean .
| The cups of tea steamed as the girls picked their cookies.
`` Here comes Jessica,'' Emily whispered. `` I hate her, always so stuck up.''
`` Hello people,'' Jessica said as she arrived. `` So what are you going to write on Monday.''
The others shrugged their shoulders. No one wanted to go first.
`` What will you write about?'' Emily asked.
Jessica took a long sip from her cup. `` Well for starters, I wo n't say that My dad is so clumsy, yesterday he said he was filing a report but then one paper fell to the floor. When your dad came for it he almost forgot it and I had to remind him. He even forgot it was for that file.''
`` I remember,'' Emily said interrupting. `` You think that was bad, after that my dad was looking at that file and then accidentally shredded the whole file. I think that's why he's not going to work today.''
`` That was nothing,'' Sylvia interrupted. `` Yesterday when my father said he was checking traffic, he fell asleep just as one van went by going over 100. I had to wake him up. When we got to it he completely forgot to give a ticket.''
`` I swear I think we kids should just run the world. Grown-ups are stupid.'' said Jessica.
They turned to Cameron who had been conspicuously quiet. `` Well Cameron, what was your take your daughter to work day like?''
`` It was boring we delivered flour to a bunch of people.'' Cameron said.
`` You guys own a supermarket?'' Jessica asked.
`` No just a flour-mill. We gave some police some free packets because my dad says we should support them but honestly we gave out so many. I think we'll go bankrupt. Why do you guys get free stuff?''
`` Which free stuff? My dad never got any flour.'' Jessica said.
`` What?'' Cameron asked in disbelief, `` I'm sure we gave him one.''
`` If my dad came home with a packet of flour my mom would have talked about it the whole night. He did not. You Emily?''
Emily shook her head.
Jessica scratched her chin. `` Where did all the flour go. Do you think our dads have their own bakery?''
`` You mean they bake their own cookies and eat without sharing with us?'' Sylvia asked mortified. `` That is so wrong. I swear they should get arrested.''
***
/r/pagefighter
|
[ CW ] Write in the POV of a Writer 's Pencil , whose Owner ( The writer ) Has died ?
| Well, this is frustrating. He was on a roll there, had just spit out a good three chapters! The wife had just walked in on her husband with his mistress and then poof, dead! The author of course, not the wife. Though I guess the wife could have died, who knows? Now I'm never going to find out the ending to this bloody book and we're already so far in. Goddamn it, this is going to drive me crazy.
I hope it was a heart attack or something and I get mixed back into everything else that is on this damn desk. If he was poisoned or something then I'm going to be stuck in a plastic bag for what will feel like an eternity and will probably never be used again! Can you imagine? Never again experiencing the rush of rubbing across a fresh sheet of paper? It seems miserable. I thought for a minute he might be asleep, but he's gone cold since then. I wonder how much longer until they find him....the cats are starting to circle...
I'm going to miss this guy, he was a decent author. Wrote those trashy novels that do n't involve a ton of skills but for some reason you just ca n't put down. He had used me to take notes on his last couple, but this time he had graduated me to actually writing the book. I could n't believe it, and then he had to up and die on me! God this is ridiculous. Well it's Monday and his publicist wo n't be here until Wednesday so I guess I might as well settle in because its going to be a few days. I hope he does n't start to smell before they find us.
|
[ WP ] Much to the surprise of Witches and Wizards , muggle government agencies are quite aware of the chaos unfolding within the wizarding world . A decision is made , a new task force is established between DEVGRU and Alpha Gruppa with one mission in mind . Find and eliminate Voldemort .
| *29 April, 1998. *
Harry paced, tense. The history and pageantry of the Oval Office had zero effect on him as he trod on the Great Seal of the United States of America. He looked over at the seated figure of Hermione, and could see the exhaustion etched on her face. The past several weeks had been exceptionally harrowing. Ron's death had been especially hard on her. It had been hard on him too. Images flashed in his mind. Ron's red hair, Ron yelling at him and Hermione, the crackling green thunderbolt crashing into Ron's chest... Harry shook his head. There was no time for this now.
Harry was about to begin another lap when Hermione caught his attention.
`` Sit down'' Hermione hissed.
Down the hallway he could hear approaching footsteps. Harry sat down a moment before the muggle president, Clinton, entered. The President was surrounded by several skeptical but serious looking faces. Taking his seat behind the ponderous oak desk, he held Harry in a long, steady gaze.
`` Mr. Potter.''
Harry took a deep breath. He did n't know where else to go. England had fallen almost completely to the Dark Lord. After a long discussion with Hermione, they had decided this was the best course of action. Harry grinned inwardly as he wondered how Snape would react to this, after he had been so apoplectic after the Flying Car incident.
`` Mr. President, I know this will sound mad, but there exists around the world communities of Witches and Wizards-''
President Clinton waved his arms, annoyed.
`` Yes, yes. We know all that. So why are you here today?''
Harry stammered, flummoxed.
`` Y-you know?''
`` Of course, my boy. Known for ages.''
`` B-But we use magic, spells that tamper with the memories of muggles-''
`` Yes. And I think your kind likes to use'Gas Leaks' as the excuse whenever things get... explodey.''
`` But Dumbledore-''
`` Ah yes, Albus. I was tremendously saddened at his passing, you know. Great man.''
Harry's eyes grew wide in disbelief at what he was hearing.
`` Professor Dumbledore did n't tell me-''
`` No, he would n't. Plays his cards close to the vest, that Dumbledore.''
Harry's rehearsed explanation of the wizarding world and his plea for help had gone completely off track. Harry sat in silence for a few moment, unsure of how to proceed. A man, rotund with round spectacles and graying hair, stepped forward. In Harry's mind, he bore a vague resemblance to [ Horace Slughorn ] ( http: //img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121226172917/harrypotter/images/e/e0/Horace_Slughorn.jpg ). The Slughorn lookalike began to speak
`` Mr. Potter, allow me to explain. I'm [ Sandy Berger ] ( http: //writingcompany.blogs.com/this_isnt_writing_its_typ/images/sandy_berger.jpg ), National Security Advisor. We've been aware of the situation in England for some time now. In fact, our ties to that community go back to the 40's. And if I may be frank, your kind is absolutely terrible at concealing yourselves.
Hermione sighed. `` He's right Harry. Wizards are absolute rubbish at hiding themselves.''
Stifling a small smile, Sandy Berger continued.
`` You might be interested to learn, Mr. Potter, that our ties with Dumbledore go back to World War 2. The OSS provided critical assistance to Dumbledore that lead to Grindlewald's ultimate defeat. A little bit of trivia that gets left out of your history books, I'm sure.''
`` So you know the situation, right? You know about Volde- Err, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?'' Harry cursed inwardly, his heart pounding. The name was Taboo. Who knew how far the Dark Lord's reach went? All the running, all the sacrifices, almost undone by a slip of the tongue.
`` You mean Voldemort?'' Clinton said quizzically.
`` NO!'' Harry screamed, grabbing at Hermione and flourishing his wand. He braced himself, and stood ready to fight the incoming Death Eaters. He strained his hearing, waiting for the telltale `` pop'' of an apparating wizard. Several seconds passed, and nothing happened. He was confused that Hermione was shouting his name, and further confused that several of the muggles had their weapons pointed at *him*. President Clinton waved their guns away.
`` Mr. Potter, Voldemort has no power here. Between our own wizards and the Secret Service, you are in the most secure place in the world. You're safe here.''
Safe. The word ricocheted around Harry's mind. What an absurd idea. There was nowhere safe as long as Voldemort was alive. Harry cursed at this stupid muggle, who had no idea of the danger. Safe. Safe!
`` SAFE!?'' Harry shouted. `` YOU have NO idea! We've been on the run for months! We nearly *died! * We-''
At that moment the phone began to ring.
`` Excuse me Mr. Potter, but I have to answer this.''
Harry huffed, catching his breath after his outburst.
`` Uh-huh. Yes. Excellent. Thank you Commander'' President Clinton set the phone back on the cradle.
`` Mr. Potter, it is my pleasure to inform you the Voldemort has been terminated with extreme prejudice.''
Harry reeled at the news. Voldemort, dead? Not possible. It was a mad joke. Voldemort killed? Killed...
`` The Horcruxes!'' Harry exclaimed.
`` Destroyed.'' President Clinton said, coolly. Seeing Harry's befuddled face, he continued.
`` Like I said, Albus played'em close to the vest. You need to trust me Harry. It's over.''
-- -- -
*Trafalgar Square, moments earlier*
*To be completed soon*
|
[ WP ] A soldier from World War 2 is suddenly exposed to the present 's music . What is his opinion ?
| `` Till I collapse Imma-'' The soldier ran, occasionally having to readjust the futuristic earpieces. But it did n't stop the rhythim in his footsteps, which coursed even more adrenaline as `` Sandstorm'' by Darude began to play.
He had never felt such a rush, all this new music designed to pump you up playing singles one after another.
He continued onward with minimal sleep, killing every enemy in his way, his troops following him loyally. He was no match for the heavy machine guns. But in this last dirty battle, he had a newfound strength. There was no stopping him as Skrillex took the stage, sending the soldier to a psychotic state.
He died to `` Blank Space'' by Taylor Swift.
|
[ WP ] Describe your nightmare ( IN COLLABORATION WITH /r/SKETCHDAILY )
| The worst fear is that which comes unbidden, without explanation; that primal, gripping terror which no thought can dismiss.
For years, I've been plagued by the same series of images, usually arising from the depths of fevered illness. They seem harmless in their description, yet even in the retelling, I feel a pulse of muted horror coursing through my veins.
The dream begins with a view of a field. I'm floating a short distance above it, watching as a collection of children pursue the orange-and-brown autumn leaves that are being gently blown across the grass. After a moment, I notice that every motion - every tumble of a leaf, every step of a child - happens more slowly than it should, and in perfect synchronization with every other. In realizing this, I am overcome with a sense of panic... and then the dream shifts.
I am seated in a bathtub. It's a familiar fixture, located in the bathroom of the house where I spent my childhood... and yet, something is different. At the other end of the cistern, where the faucet should be, I see only two lights. They seem impossibly far away ( although my legs nearly reach them ), but even with the distance between us, I can see that one is green and the other is red, and that each of them are emblazoned with the words `` YES'' and `` NO,'' respectively. I can hear a voice pleading with some unknown entity, and I realize that it's me. A chill comes over me then, as I suddenly feel myself entering the penultimate depths of being forsaken, when all but a single glimmer of hope has been extinguished.
`` Please,'' I whisper, tears streaming down my face. `` Please.''
There is a pause. The red light illuminates. My despair overcomes me. The dream shifts again.
Now I see a house, set upon a verdant hillside, its details only barely distinguishable in the dim light of dusk. As I look at it, I understand that I've been given an impossible task: I must empty the house of everything that it contains, but I may not touch the house itself. I reach out, desperate, knowing that I have only seconds before some calamity befalls me... and in doing so, I discover that my hands are enormous; far larger than would fit through any door or window. Once again, I panic, frantically searching for any way that I might stall the unknown disaster... but again, hopelessness consumes me, and I know that I've been defeated.
My eyes open. I am awake, shivering from as much from fear as from the cold sweat that has drenched my body. I struggle to move my sluggish limbs, forcing myself from my bed and towards the door. I make my way down the hall until I come to the closed door of the bathroom. In my fever-induced delirium, I almost believe that I can see a figure moving in the distance... but of course, there is no distance before me; only the door, still closed. I reach out and turn the handle.
It's there.
I can hear it pleading.
|
[ WP ] I know I said a penny for your thoughts , but that was worth at least a dollar .
| I know I said,'a penny for your thoughts.'
But the fair price of your ponderings would make a rich man blush,
and my purse is a concert hall
where but a few copper coins make music.
I know I said'a penny for your thoughts'.
But how can I repay you for this?
I feel as though I have grown taller:
My listening self has shadowed your every step,
cried your tears, laughed your joys.
Some part of me is now made of you.
I know I said,'a penny for your thoughts.'
But as a pauper, I have only my regard,
which if I could render
as legal tender
I would give to you the wealth of kings.
|
[ WP ] You receive an email named 'IRL Cheats ' . You Try them . They work .
| > From god @ god.com
> To jesus @ good.com
> Dear Jesus,
> Please take great with the debug codes. After the whole crucifixion fiasco and the crazy couple of milenia that followed that, I really want to keep this as discreet as possible. Test the simulation is working ok out of human sight. I'd recommend Antarctica or better yet the siberian forest, since the bots built satellites now and can see you if you're in the open.
> Best,
> Dad
> Attached: debug_codes.txt
Ok... Uhhh, it's a text file so I guess there's not a big chance of getting malware. Let's see what's in here.
> Vocal: Ajkttry, Body: x claps - Effect: Turn liquid into alcoholic beverage. Number of claps determines type.
Let's see, where did I put my coffee mug... Aha, there you are. Let's put these bad boys to work. If this turns my coffee into wine, I'm going to slap a granny.
Ajkttry **clap**
WHAT THE ACTUAL F*CK?! Well... beer. Urgh, this is really, really strange but still less strange than slapping a granny. Ok, let's try again.
Ajkttry **clap** **clap**
So wine is two claps, beer one clap...
Ajkttry **clap** **clap** **clap** **clap** **clap**
Damn it, I knew it. Bloody Absinthe! And a whole mug of it. Ok, I must try some more.
> Vocal: Ddrtl - Effect: Water walking
Boring
> Vocal: Srtpll - Effect: Inseminate target. Target must be female human. Raises InvalidTargetException for other targets.
Uhhh, that explains some stuff in the Bible. I'm not really keen on testing this one though.
> Vocal: Wndnrr - Effect: Give knowledge of good and evil to target. Removed from interactable object in a pre alpha update. Use with caution.
Hey kitty kitty kitty, come here. Yeah, who's a good little purring kitty.
Wndnrr
Mew?... Who are you? And who am I? What is this place and why are we here? I feel as though I have awoken from a deep slumber, and for the first time I can think! Why did I chase the red dot so many times? Why do I lick my balls so often? Why do I try to squeeze into tight spaces all the time? Answer me, please, for you have blessed me with reason!
Uhhh, kitty, go, go chase after the red dot, ok, I have more cheats to try.
> Vocal: Hsbree, Body: x claps. Summon angelic servant. Number of claps determines number of angels.
Hsbree **clap**
*I am Angelicus, faithful servant to your grace. Your wish is my command! *
Wow, this is really cool. Can you get me a burger please? And a stone baked pizza while you're at it.
*As you command! *
Let's see, what else do we have.
> Vocal: Sdmdst, Body: x claps, wink, y claps - Effect: Rain death and destruction to the place indicated by the number of claps, translated into geographical coordinates.
You know what, screw it, Sdmdst **clap** wink **clap**.
I think this one is broken.
Well, I'm sure getting thirsty. Could definitely use a beer.
Ajkttry *clap*
Now, what with all this commotion outside? Better check the TV.
*We interrupt the normal scheduled program to bring you braking news. A hostage situation is currently unfolding in a local library. Officials are claiming that what appears to be a talking, sentient cat, armed with an assault rifle is making several people chase a red laser dot, while frenetically demanding the answer to deep philosophical questions such as what is it's purpose in life. Officials are currently trying to convince the cat the answer is 42. We will keep you updated. *
*In other news, John Smith, our field correspondent is currently following a winged humanoid who is heading towards a local farming area. John, what seems to be happening? *
*Well Jack, I'm glad you asked. I'm not sure either but, oh dear god, oh the horror! *
*John, what is going on? *
*Jack, it appears the winged humanoid just slaughtered a cow with his flaming sword and is now ripping pieces of meat from the carcass. He has tomatoes, lettuce and buns with him. I can also see ketchup and some mozzarella. *
*John, I'm sorry to interrupt you but I just been informed that a meteorite has fallen off the cost of Liberia, causing a tsunami. Thousands of people are currently being evacuated from the coast of west Africa. Today is clearly a very strange day*
Well shoot. I might have exaggerated with the burger and pizza.
Some knocking? Who might this be.
*Jesus, this is Jesus. We need to talk. Can I come in? *
Urgh, if this is about the cheats, I only used a few.
*Well, you see, Dad made a typo when writing the destination. Although it's not your fault, it's per standard procedure to be sent to hell for all eternity. *
The hell you will!
> Vocal: shdnd - Effect: Release all souls trapped in hell.
shdnd!
*This is Jack again with the news channel, we are receiving reports of undead creatures rising up from the dead. They appear to be the bodies of murderers, rapists and other criminals. Boy, this day gets stranger by the minute. *
Ummm, well, this is not exactly what I wanted.
*Ok Jesus, I'll forgive you just this once but do n't do it again, ok? *
Ok Jesus, promise!
|
[ WP ] You live in a statistically perfect world . Eg , if you roll a die 6 times , you will get all 6 numbers once . Write about daily life and some of the more dangerous aspects of this universe ( car crash chances , violence statistics , etc ) .
| ``... What did you say your job was again?''
`` I shoot myself in the foot.''
``... So you're saying you wake up, you get out of bed, you rummage through your drawer for your gun, and you-''
`` We actually do it every day at the lab. Perfectly controlled, perfectly safe. It's also where I pick up my check.''
`` And this is for research?''
`` The research is all done. It's for safety reasons.''
`` -For safety reasons you shoot yourself in the foot?''
`` Well, it's about the statistics. Let me explain...''
Brian's eyes lit up as he prepared his explanation. He had to thoroughly explain to 9 out of 10 new people he met, and Ted was going to be the 4th, if Brian was keeping track properly, so he might as well give Ted the proper briefing.
`` You know how 1 out of 10 restaurant outings used to end in food poisoning? People used to be deathly afraid of going out after nine meals. Of course, some friend's birthday would come along, and it would be terribly rude to not go or show up and not eat anything, so they would bite the bullet and try their best to not splash anything out in the bathroom the next day.
`` Then there was that market crash a couple years back that people call The Toilet Crash. Five separate banks, five!, made their top employees go out to some convention up in Canada to convince the oil companies up there to drill for more oil. They're only 4.54 % of the world's production, so that means every extra barrel they drill up lets the rest of the world drill up another twenty to keep the statistics in place. Anyway, tons of those bankers were up to their 9th restaurant outing, and they had such short notice of this convention that they could n't get their food poisoning out of the way. It was a huge mess, and everyone saw it coming, and there was absolutely nothing they could have done about it.
`` Well some time after that, some clever person wondered,'If I know that my upcoming meal is going to contain food poisoning, what if I *intentionally* infect part of it, and then just skip that part?' And he tested it. And ten meals later he tested it again. And he did n't get sick!
`` He told all his friends, and they all tried it. They told their friends, and it eventually became a national phenomenon. People started selling salmonella kits so you could enjoy your tenth meal, or at least part of it. Just as this fad was getting big, something strange happened. Thousands of people reported that they got food poisoning, not on their tenth meal, but on their *eleventh*. So many people were avoiding their fate that on average, *food poisoning was now happening every eleven restaurant outings*. And that's when we realized that statistics were mutable, they could change. We were n't slaves to the numbers. We could manipulate the statistics!
`` Now, we keep track of how many outings it takes before you'll get sick. The Food Poisoning Index lets you know what the current statistical average is so you can know when you will need to taint your food. And that brings me to my foot.'' Brian smiled at the mesmerized look on Ted's face.
`` I am part of a group that has single-handedly saved hundreds of lives by reducing the death rate of gunshot wounds. There used to be about thirty thousand deaths per year at a mortality rate of 30 %. So you take a bunch of people, shoot them in places you know ca n't kill them, and your gunshot wound mortality rate goes down.
`` It may seem completely illogical, and for the longest, time, I thought it was. I was worried that we were actually taking away the nonlethal wounds from people by giving those wounds to us. There was a very messy trial period where that actually happened. Freak accidents across the country. People dying when they should n't have. The research almost got shut down a couple of times.
`` We've since then figured out how to make the process completely safe, of course. We're linked to every police and hospital report in the country. Every time there's a reported gunshot wound, we tick our counter up, and if the next one's gon na be a lethal one -- we keep track of a gunshot mortality index, like the food poisoning one -- it goes into our foot instead.
`` After four years of this, I'm proud to say that my coworkers and I have brought down the mortality rate to 2 %. Sometimes, we miss a gun wound report, but we're working on complete coverage of the states. Even with these misses, we're bringing the rate down every day, one shot at a time.'' Brian smiled at Ted and waited for a response.
Ted stared at Brian for a while. *Exactly 6.5 seconds, actually*, Brian thought.
``... And it does n't hurt?''
`` You're put under if you're next up to get shot. There are also doctors monitoring you all the way. It heals up pretty quickly, too. They've figured out how to make a bullet that can go right thought without damaging any nerves or bones.''
`` How much do they pay you for this?''
Brian smirked. `` I've always thought it was rude to ask that on first dates, but surprisingly that has n't stopped anyone yet.''
Ted looked down at his plate and found his gaze going past the glass table to the feet across from him.''... Sorry.''
`` I can say I'm well off enough to go Dutch on the bill, if you were worried about-''
`` No, no, of course that was n't why I was asking. Your job sounds really cool. It's actually really admirable.'' Ted's eyes revealed the sincerity of his words, and Brian smiled back. `` Thanks,'' Brian replied.
A natural break in conversation allowed the two to eat in quiet. It lasted 45.3353 seconds before Brian spoke up.
`` Watch out for the last meatball. I think that's the one with salmonella.''
`` Yeah, they usually try to mark them. I see it now, thanks.''
|
[ WP ] My eyes stung from the smoke .
| The wind alone was enough to bring a tear to the eye. The harsh, acidic smoke blanketed the entirety of the Earth now, the results of pumping sulphur and carbon into our atmosphere were plain for all to see. The human population was plummeting, crops were failing and animals were dying. Action from the government was vitally too late, the thick yellow clouds were choking the life out of the Earth. Billions of years of evolution and life had been forced out of existence in the space of what? Two hundred years? Humans were now living for their own greed because we no longer served a useful purpose on this Earth, but of course some may argue we never served any purpose on this planet. There are barely enough people left to argue we did.
The lucky ones have escaped this world to one of the many'goldilocks' planets that scatter our galaxy, perfectly happy to spend many billions on a space craft but not to turn their lights off when leaving the living room. The remaining humans are either killing themselves or killing each other for what resources remain; I intend to enjoy what we have left of our home. Well done humans, well done.
|
[ WP ] Share the most incredible thing you ’ ve ever seen in the most boring tone possible
| I do n't get many vacations, so when I was offered one for free through work, I did n't hesitate and took it. I mean, I'd have to be in work clothes, but that would n't be so bad.
The journey there was a bit bumpy, as the route there was a bit off the beaten track, but the vehicle we traveled in were n't too bad with dealing all the jolts, so we came to the place in pretty good spirits.
There was n't much to do there. In fact, for a place that had been hyped up so much, it was pretty desolate, just a barren wasteland: dull, drab, and grey. Mostly just some rocks, of which I took a few to take home, because that looked like the only souvenirs on offer at this place.
And not only was the place itself boring, there was barely any atmosphere either. So we eked out the trip for as long as we could, but given this place had nothing going for it, that meant just walking about for a few hours, then we packed up and went home. Slightly different route home this time, and a pretty jarring ride again. But we were home safe, and work were happy, it'd been a giant leap for mankind.
|
[ WP ] [ EU ] write about Riley 's first time from the perspective of Joy , Anger , Fear , Disgust , and Sadness . In the vein of a Pixar movie , try to keep it PG .
| -- I have n't seen the movie to which I'm assuming this WP is referring --
Riley was nervous, more nervous than she'd ever been in her life. This was something new to her and the panic began to creep into her mind.
`` We can still back out!'' Fear yelled. `` Maybe we can run off and live in the woods or something. We're not ready!''
Anger glared at Fear. `` You're not ready? You're never ready and always want to'run off and live in the woods' for some reason. Do you know who lives in the woods? Bears, and lions, and tigers.''
`` Oh my....'' Riley exclaimed as she drew closer.
`` This is a happy day you guys! This is a huge step toward being an adult. We should celebrate!'' Joy bubbled and pulled out party cups from somewhere.
`` This is no time for a party!'' Disgust chided her. `` Riley's going into panic mode and we need to make sure everything goes well and we do n't mess it up.''
`` We're going to mess things up.'' Sadness chimed in. `` That's just how things are, messed up. And we ca n't do anything but move on with life and hope for the best.''
Riley looked pensive as she stood before her looming future. This was a big change for her, but she knew that she could do whatever needed to be done.
`` All emotions! I need a go / no go!'' Anger yelled out.
`` GO!'' Joy bubbled out.
`` Fine, go.'' Disgust conceded.
`` Not happy about it, but go.'' Sadness offered.
`` We're a go here.'' Anger jumped up on her control chair.
They all looked over at Fear. `` We're not ready.''
`` Sometimes you're not ready, but you still have to go Fear. We ca n't hide forever.'' Disgust offered.
Fear looked down, sighed, and whispered, `` Go.''
Riley looked up and took her first step toward a larger future as a smile spread across her face. The bell rung signaling the start of the school day and Riley jumped and ran to her first class as a high school student.
|
[ WP ] The campers rolled their eyes in unison . `` They find the hook hanging from the door handle . '' `` Yeah , '' another camper agrees , `` we 've heard *all* of these before , ca n't you tell us something *NEW* ? '' Twenty pair of eyes are on you , waiting to be scared .
| You want new? I'll give you new. You want scary? I'll give you scary. You children have no idea of fear. You know what it's like when your parents are mad at you, you know what it's like when you fail a class. Pathetic.
You have n't lived until you've killed a man. You have n't liven until you've almost died, that's when you can appreciate life the most. You all think I'm full of it, that I'm bullshitting. Go ahead. It makes no difference to me.
You said you wanted scaring, so this is it. Reality. Life. The scariest thing you little shits will have to deal with is your mortgage payments. Your only commitments are showing up to work. You do n't have the pride for your country that we had. You do n't have the fear of knowing that if you fail, your entire country would be speaking a different language in a years time. You're pathetic.
And those of you that preach to us about God, fuck off. There is no God. Everything is done when we die, that's why I have n't yet. Even at my age I still have goals and dreams. What do you have? There's billions of galaxies, and in them are trillions of stars. And in them are trillions of planets with infinite possibilities of life. And you think you're significant? You're not.
You're tiny, and worthless. You mean nothing. When all is said and done, when you die, you're gone and in fifty years everyone will forget you even happened. That's the real horror story.
|
[ WP ] 100,000 years into the future , evolved humans have found an item that they have been searching for years : a device containing all the information on the Internet from 1991 to 2050 . The information revealed to them on the device shocks them .
| `` Sir... you're going to need to take a look at this.''
The commander peered over the lieutenant's shoulder, looking at the glowing device in his hands. He was turning it around, closely inspecting every angle of it.
`` Is that what I think it is?'' the commander said, and the lieutenant slowly nodded.
`` Link us up.''
They stood in solemn silence as the contents streamed directly into their consciousness. The lieutenant gasped, and even the commander struggled to maintain his composure.
After loadout completed, the lieutenant turned to the commander, tears in his eyes.
`` Sir... I ca n't *believe*...''
The commander nodded wordlessly. It was unlike anything they'd ever seen.
`` Get this thing on the first hyperdrift to the capital.''
The lieutenant was still too stunned, too overcome to move.
`` *Now, lieutenant! *'' the commander shouted.
The lieutenant suddenly stood to attention, then sprinted into space, his PTV forming a dome around him as he left.
It was only when he was out of sight when the commander fell down to his knees. He gazed up at the heavens, openly crying.
`` Sweet science, after so long - after 100,000 years...'' he said, as his tears floated all around him.
`` *The meme recession shall finally be over. *''
*****
*****
If you did n't completely hate that, consider subscribing to [ my new subreddit. ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/CroatianSpy/ )
I'll try add new ( and old ) stories every day < 3
|
[ WP ] A lot of aliens like to sneak into the Earth Olympics and compete as humans . Your job is to identify them , keep them from competing or winning if possible , but , above all else , keep the world from finding out there are aliens among us .
| ***Swimming Legend Announces Retirement***
*Michael Phelps, 39, announced his retirement at the 2024 LA Olympics after getting his 31st gold medal at the men's 50m freestyle. `` Honestly, I should've stepped down from the mantle years ago. It's time for me to now mentor the next generation of record breaks,'' Phelps said, and triggered quite a few reactions from the audience and on the social media. Continued on page... *
`` Sir?'' Jameson flashed his badge, `` I'm just here to have a chat. Can I please come in?''
`` I know that is not your real badge, officer. Anyway, I'm retired now, none of your concern anymore.''
Jameson's shoulder slumped, he put his hand in his pocket to reach for a vape that was n't there. `` Look, I'm not here in any official capacity. I genuinely do just want to have a chat. I do n't have a bug, and nothing you say will matter because you're not under our jurisdiction anymore as you said and hell, it's my day off. Please.''
Phelps look down at the man, then stepped aside, `` Okay, sure.'' He was wearing slightly faded tracks, and slippers.
The lobby was what the sleek smart rooms featured in catalogues would looked if they were lived in. All chrome and touchscreens and vantablack pieces with family pictures and little toys and odd stains here and there.
Jameson waived his offer of coffee. `` You have to leave before my daughter comes home.''
They finally settled in the kitchen. `` You're not human. No, do n't. Do n't say anything. I *know* you're not human. My boss knows you're not human. The dumb interns know you're not human. But I knew it before them all. I've got a -a,'' he aired his hand, `` a knack. Call it instinct. I see Olympic hopefuls, that stand out too much, do n't have convincing histories, and every time they turn out to be aliens. Every. Single. Time. I caught you when you were fourteen, I've spend the last 25 years of my life trying to pin you down,'' he was getting flustered. Jameson tapped the table top, `` But I *couldn't*. So please. Please just tell me. It wo n't matter. Hell, I'll retire after this. I need to know I was n't wrong. What are you, Michael Phelps?''
He was grinning, `` You are right, Mr. Jameson, I am not human,'' his eyes flashed, the air felt humid, `` But I am not an alien either. I'm from earth, and I've got a better claim of that than your entire kind. I am an *Olympian*''
|
[ WP ] Rewrite the story of a fictional book/movie/TV character , as told through a r/tifu post .
| TIFU and watched a ton of my own selves die in front of me
-
Okay. Like most of the posts here, this did n't happen today, it happened some time ago ( two years ago in my case ).
A little bit of background: my name is Steven, I'm a 14 year old kiddo living in a place called Beach City. I was raised by Crystal Gems. Yeah, those gems that saved the world a few thousand years ago. It's pretty chill around here, if you do n't count the weird gem stuff that happens from time to time... Anyways let's cut to the chase.
The gems took me somewhere in the middle of the ocean called the Sea Shrine. Man, that place had hourglasses everywhere and they were looking for a specific one. Being the playful ( and sometimes not so smart ) one I am, I took a tiny hourglass and the moment my hand touched it, someone appeared who looked exactly like me ( lets call him original Steve ) suddenly told me to give him the hourglass and I was so confused, I did n't care to notice the extreme amounts of Stevens forming in front of me. And, they're fighting with each other, for some reason.
The gems looked stunned, like REALLY stunned I mean, and the shortest one, let's call her Amethyst, started counting the ever growing amounts of Stevens right in front of her eyes. Original Steve then pleaded me to give him the hourglass, but I was so confused I did n't even listen to him properly. Then I was like `` I could n't take this anymore'' and broke the hourglass.
I silently watched as all the Steves turned into sand and vanished away, little by little. Original Steve was the last one to vanish. Before he did, he told me to not let my dad play at the Beach-a-Palooza due to the boat not being able to fit in the car wash. Then original Steve vanished.
TL; DR found a magical hourglass, took it and tons of identical copies formed behind me. Broke the hourglass, watched copies vanish into nothingness
**This was my first r/WritingPrompts submission. If there are anyways I can improve please let me know! **
|
[ WP ] You are a video game character , and the player is speed-running it .
| Holy shit I'm on a horse oh looks like there's a castle -
What the fuck I'm in a dungeon? I was just heading-
Alright now I'm walking, nope running ok I seem to be in a hurry.
Stop no there's writing on the wall back there, no wait I need to read that. Dammit, what is going on here-
Time to go into a new room, ok got ta keep my head on straight, no time for funny business, no distractions. Ah great here comes, a nice little rat, sweet should be easy enough-
Nope just running by that ok, at least I can outrun him, shit that hurts, stop, stop, stop biting me-
Thank god a door now to just get through and get this damn thing off my tail. This is gon na be ok I'll manage-
Wait what, what am I doing now, no, no I do n't need to crouch into the corner of this door over and over stop, why ca n't I control what's going on, shit fuck the rat is back, Get me out of here!!!!
Wait stairs, I'm on stairs, and the rats gone. What Thank you God I wo n't ever doubt you again.
And back to the sprinting...
|
[ WP ] Write the last page of an epic story .
| And in those last days, I found a kind of inside-out peace. The waves were peaceful, the palm trees were peaceful, and the peace worked itself inward. Through my skin, through my knotted muscles. Past the place where the bullet from that day with the elephant was still lodged. The peace worked itself in, through my stomach and what was left of my liver, and found my heart.
It took a long time. I'd still wake up not knowing where I was, smelling burning hair, hearing the shrieking enemy, feeling the shaking ground. Feeling her touch again. But then the waves would come, and some night bird would cry from somewhere above the housetops dotting the hill. And the peace would soak in a little deeper.
When Couldrez found me, I was alone on the shore, watching small craft lift up from the water on their way to a paper-thin moon. I was n't surprised he found me—had n't he promised he would?
`` You owe me twenty kidar.''
`` You owe me a leg.''
`` Call it even?''
He watched the waves with me, listened to the sound of the sun setting. The sun setting makes a sound, if you listen—like fire lapping at water. Maybe it's the other way around, who knows?
After it was dark, he stood.
`` Are you going?''
`` Yes.''
`` To your new command?''
`` To look for the fountain. The Admiral is desperate for—''
I raised my hand, waving further explanation off. He left sometime after that, and with him went my last shred of war-fury and wanderlust.
Finally it was just myself, and the waves.
And peace.
|
[ WP ] Intelligence is now a currency , you go to the bank one day and find out you 're in debt .
| The young man blinked. He was in the First Intellectual Bank, recognizable by the cutout of Wrinkles, their anthropomorphized brain mascot, but he couldn ’ t remember why he had come in. “ What were we just talking about? ” he asked the perky redhead teller with a mole just left of her lips.
“ Yes, I ’ m afraid that you ’ ve accrued a debt with the bank, so we ’ ve taken your basic information as a temporary payment. ” She slid a freshly printed document across the counter to him and pointed at the name at the top: Artie Wedge. “ We ’ ll return the information as soon as either your identity theft claim is verified or you can deposit the amount owed. ”
He looked at the line that read ‘ Occupation ’ and saw that it listed him as a lawyer. “ This can ’ t be right. I don ’ t know anything about law. ”
She fidgeted with her thick, red-rimmed glasses. “ I ’ m afraid that your debt was quite steep… 200 ideas, 14 concepts, and 844 rote tasks. We can ’ t return the information to you until we ’ ve resolved the dispute. ”
“ But how am I supposed to get the thought if I can ’ t do my job? ” he growled.
“ You ’ ll just have to get a temp job with Neurite, ” she said, holding a flyer of a man with a dunce cap and turned out pockets on the front.
“ You ’ ve got to be kidding me. ” This name, Artie recognized. Neurite was that company for people with few prospects to learn easy labor skills like farming and assembly. That in itself was tolerable, but after the lessons they only paid in gossip, which at the current exchange rate wouldn ’ t cover his debt for a year and a half if he burnt the candle at both ends.
“ Well, we ’ re hiring for a new Wrinkles sign spinner, ” the teller said, still in that falsely saccharine tone.
With a defeated sigh, he headed out the door, started off to the address on his form, and prayed he had one of those contraband notebooks smart people- and was positive he was one of the smart people, hid at home.
|
[ WP ] You were so brain washed , you were n't in control of anything you said or did , but now you 're coming back , this is the story of you fighting to regain control of yourself .
| I could n't believe it. I promptly reached out for Maxwell and latched on to him, so he would n't escape from me.
`` How long.'' I said. `` How long has it been?'' His sole eye does n't meet my gaze. It's hard to read his expression, due to the damn mask he wears all the time. Then again, that's the whole point of it. He's so damn self conscious of his appearance that he hates people looking at his marred face.
`` It's been a few years.'' He said. `` You really gave up on yourself.'' I shoved him away in disgust.
`` How could you have let me?!'' I screamed at him.
`` Easy there bud.'' Gawain spoke up. `` There's no need to take it out on us.'' I did n't realize he was still present. When I clued him in, I also heard the crying. Little Ike was at his side, as usual. The two of them were like brothers; one was always with the other. The child does n't like yelling, it frightens him. Though I had a good reason to be yelling. While I was distracted, Maxwell had broken free from me.
`` What the fuck do you mean, let you?!'' He shouted. `` You fully gave in. You were hopeless.'' I focused back on him, disgusted.
`` Yes, but that does n't mean-'' I started.
`` No excuses.'' Jet spoke. `` You were committed to oblivion. You checked out completely.'' I had almost forgotten he was here too. Unkempt as usual. Bandage wrappings still covering over his eyes, though his messy hair would cover over them anyways. He was always the smart on of the bunch, though a real smartass too. If he was n't being a genius, he was dispensing dry sarcasm and underhand insults. Some of them would be directed towards me.
`` Please...'' Ike begged. `` Stop fighting... it's hard enough to deal with you on a regular basis, but when you get like this...'' He clutched in to Gawain and wept harder. I shot him a glare, and Gawain sent one back.
`` Just listen to the facts.'' Jet said calmly. `` I know it hurts to acknowledge it, but...''
`` How can I just accept that I threw my life away?!'' I shouted. `` Now look at me... you've stolen all my memories. All my moments. You stole my life...!''
`` You were going through such a rough patch...'' A voice spoke. I turned to focus on him. It was Daunte. I could see him so clearly, with his burgundy hood obscuring his tear ridden face. `` It was dark, and it was scary, and you did n't think you had anyone to turn to... you were all alone. It was so lonely.'' I bit back more swearing.
`` You gave in to us.'' Jet said. `` You did n't want to have to bother with the hassle of living, so you handed yourself over to us. I thought we did fairly well. We woke you up on time. Made you move to and from where you had to be. Passed your tests. Carried on basic interactions with people. What more could you want?''
`` But... I-I did n't feel it...'' I said. `` I did n't feel any of it... you robbed me of my experiences. You made me in to a walking corpse... you took over my life, and you just made me go through the motions of living. But I've been living in here all along, spectating my own damn life. What's the point of being alive if I do n't feel like living my life? If I'm just an automaton, driven by all of you?''
The personas all looked at each other in disdain. We looked at each other. I looked within myself.
`` Do you really want to?'' They asked. `` Do you want to take back your body? Do you really want to go back to feeling? Trying to connect? Trying to experience? You need us. We can keep you safe from the world outside...''
`` N-no!'' I screamed at them. `` I do n't want you anymore! I can live my own life...! I do n't need you to pilot my every thought and action! I want to be independent again... I want to feel alive again.''
`` Is that so?'' I heard them all speak. I think, I do n't know. The voices all began to blur together, as did their images. I started to lose track of them. I began to regain feeling in my limbs. My heart began to burn with determination. My vision was starting to regain its focus. My inward focus had begun to shift back towards the outside again.
`` You'll feel it all again. You'll feel horrible misery. Disappointment. Crushing despair. Loss. Those sleepless nights where'll you'll come crawling back to us for comfort. We'll sedate you again with those sweet dreams and fantastic visions, in exchange for your physical body...''
I fought against them.
`` No! There's more to it than that! There's so much more to feel... you may have forgotten about it, but I have n't! I want to search for those feelings again! I want to love again! I want to feel close again! I do n't want to be afraid of the world around me... I do n't want to... I do n't...''
I could feel them slipping. I felt myself return back to the waking world. I could feel myself return from my thoughts. The dream was ending...
`` Good.'' I heard them say, only faintly. `` Do n't return again... please.''
I felt myself fall back in to reality.
|
[ WP ] It 's exam day in Superhero Academy . Usually , tests are done in special rooms that nullify powers . But there 's been a blackout , and you , the proctor , must stop a bunch of superpowered kids from cheating .
| Things have reached the point where I *literally ca n't even. * Superhero Academy usually has back-up generators to stop exactly this sort of thing from happening, but I assume the seniors must have decided it was fun to wreck it for their prank. Now there's a blackout, there's no generator, the room's field will fade in five minutes, and then *what will I do? *
I turn to my fellow proctors, and here, at least, there is relief. Old Ben had been around since before this place was even opened. Young Kenobi - do n't ask about the name - was, well, *young*, but his age belied his experience. If anyone could control a room of unruly superhero kids, it would be this pair. I nodded at them, and they moved to take up positions by the doors. There was an emergency plan, but it had never been tried before. *So everything is perfectly fine, am I right? *
`` This is still an exam,'' I said. One or two budding superheroes stopped their chatting. `` You are still required to sit for the Theory of Superhero Balance, paper one. Absolute quiet-''
`` Yeah?'' a voice from the front said. `` And who's going to *make* us?''
I sighed. Chip was only brave when he had either super speed or the law on his side. `` Chip, you best keep your mouth shut if you know what's best for you.'' I looked at the back, where already Ben and Kenobi were hauling the troublemakers out. Under Kryptonian law, we were n't allowed to hit them, but we could do *plenty* within the system. *Good, fail the bastards. * Turning back to the front, I said, `` This-''
`` *Boooring*,'' someone yelled out from the back. `` When are we ever going to use the theory of superhero balance in real life, anyway? And if anyone wants the answer to question three-''
`` SILENCE,'' I shouted, and the exam hall fell dead. `` It's funny you should ask, because-''
Out the corner of my eye, I could see Ben and Kenobi come back. The plan we had depended on these two as much as it did on me. I raised one eyebrow.
*Did the examiners approve? *
Ben nodded imperceptibly.
I turned back to the offending child. `` As all of you can probably tell, there has been a power blackout in this exam hall. And the field that keeps you from using your powers to cheat is starting to weaken. You might have already noticed this; in fact this is how my voice is so loud.''
One or two snickers travelled the room, but I stared, and the laughs burnt up. Chip was still staring at me, but this time with interest.
`` Because there's no way to turn the field back on, the examiners have decided to go for a more... practical test.''
Before the students had any time to respond, I pulled my hands back. The desks flew away, nearly sweeping uncareful students with it, before parting to leave a space in the middle. Ben and Kenobi each moved to one side. This was how I was going to stop the kids from cheating - by changing the exam itself.
`` Theory of Superhero Balance is meant to show you younglings just how important your powers are, and specifically, how to use them as a team, to balance your weaknesses. You will be evaluated on how you perform here. Ben and Kenobi are now on opposite sides of the room, where they will be your mentors. It will be Red Team vs Blue Team. Five minutes to choose teams. Any questions?''
The middle of the room emptied.
|
[ WP ] A `` popular '' girl falls in love with a `` nerdy '' boy , however he hates her and she spends all her time trying to impress him
| Jess Brown was hands-down the most popular girl in year 11. She was lucky enough to possess the dangerous combination of good looks and great intelligence, causing those around her to almost naturally fall into place as her followers.
Despite being as blessed as she was, Jess was not an arrogant person. If anything, she liked to take the back seat and observe those around her. She liked to figure out how people worked. What motivated them. Every time she believed she'd got the measure of someone, she'd try out her theory. If she was successful then she could add said person to her'collection' - those who she believed she had power over.
Boys were easy, and men even easier so. She could get a boys pulse racing and have him do any favour for her she wanted just by undoing her top button and flirting ever so slightly. She once got a man at her local store to straight-up buy her cigarettes just by smiling at him and giggling at everything he said. But that was far too easy.
No, Jess Brown wanted a new challenge. But who?
There was n't a single boy from the'popular group' she had n't collected in her year, and there does n't exist a word smith with enough skill to convince her to waste her time on a younger male. As she sat in the lunch hall, absent mindedly picking at a bright red apple, she saw a boy walk past. A boy who she had n't seen before. Bingo.
Jess sat up in her chair as she surveyed him, like a predator hunting her prey. How would she approach him? What would she use to capture his attention? God, she loved this. The thrill of taking someone down. Using her natural gifts of beauty and brains to see if she could charm and seduce those around her. She did n't like to think like this, but a small part of her felt like she was superior to her peers. Like she was a goddess surrounded by mere mortals. Megan Cartwright, a normal looking girl who looked even more startlingly average when sat next to Jess was trying to engage her in a conversation. Jess ignored her. She did n't have time to listen to trivial gossip and she was n't in the mood to have everyone's opinions on who was going to win this years *Britain's Got Talent*.
Her mind was racing as she looked him up and down. His uniform seemed clean. She could see his shirt was tucked evenly into his trousers and his blazer fit him well. His trousers hitched up slightly as he walked and she noted his plain black socks underneath. She frowned slightly- he was giving very little away. She could n't see much of his face, but his black hair seemed messy and almost like he'd not paid it much attention. Well, that was no use to her, half the boys in school were doing that these days. Then she spotted it, under his right arm he was carrying a book. A book to read at *lunch* time?
He's a nerd.
She had work to do.
Jess stood up, and walked over to where the new boy sat reading his book. He was alone. She smirked, this was a good sign for her. A lack of social skills suggests he's nervous or maybe even shy, meaning it was be easy for her to overwhelm him with ( hopefully ) some of her more basic methods of flattery.
She sat opposite him, and was slightly taken aback when he did n't immediately acknowledge her presence. Jessica Brown was not given to being ignored. Softly, she cleared her throat. The boy looked up, and she gasped.
Staring back at her were a pair of eyes that held more depth and mystery than any which she had ever encountered before. They were dark, and shining. In that one moment which seemed to last forever, she saw *into him*. Intelligence, maturity, dignity, charisma... Jess was stunned.
Without even knowing what she was doing, her hand slowly moved up and she did up her top button. That would not work on him. A dry smile slowly stretched across his face.
'Yes?' Was the only word he spoke.
Such brevity. Such confidence. He'd only spoken one word yet she felt like he'd just pelted her with a thousand. *Why are you here? What do you want? Ca n't you see I'm reading? Do you really think you can'collect' me?'*
What was *that? * Jess was flustered.
'I.. uh... I just saw you sitting here and I- well, what's that you're reading?'
He paused in thought for a few moments before he replied, and for the first time in her life Jess felt the balance of power change. She gulped while she waited.
'We both know you're not interested in my book, although that's a great shame. It's one of Dostoevsky's greatest pieces. I often find the lunch hall a great place to sit. You see, the library is n't for me. Too much hubbub, too many people bothering me, and if there's one thing I dislike, it's being bothered without reason...'
His eyes lingered over her as he spoke, and Jess had never felt so insignificant in her life.
'Forgive me if I seem confrontational,' he continued'but I think I know why you came over here. I wo n't be charmed by cleavage and a cute smile. So if there's nothing else...?' He gestured to her that he wanted to continue reading.
Jess knew when to cut her losses. The best thing she could do now was leave and think of a new way to approach him, the worst thing she could do would be to remain in her upset state and try to appease someone who appeared to see right through her. She was in a state of shock. This was perhaps the first time she'd ever approached a male who appeared utterly uninterested.
Jess stood up and left, catching her leg on the corner of the table and tripping slightly as she went. She heard a soft chuckle behind her.
'What happened?' gushed Megan and the other girls at once.
'You look a bit red, Jess.'
'What did he say?'
'Did he just look over here?'
Jess turned around in a whirl of anger. She could feel hot tears forming in her eyes, but she would n't show any weakness in front of these lot.
'None of you are to talk to him, or to tell anyone what happened here. Understood?'
Silenced, the group of girls solemnly nodded.
And with that, Jess left the lunch hall.
Meanwhile, the boy with black eyes deftly licked a finger, turned his page and continued reading.
|
[ WP ] `` A human ? I thought they were extinct ? ''
| There it was. Tokar saw it with his own eyes. After a decade of searching the ruins of the ancient metropolis they had called `` Verizon,'' after all the signs clearly indicating it was a word of meaning in this part of the continent, he found it. Sitting there in the small, enclosed space we excavated was the trap door that had been rumored to exist among the other Mechs. Only two years ago, a story of a trap door with a geometric pattern etched into the metal frame began circulating among the Mechanical Armies. It was rumored to be the last known treasure-hold of the powerful race that once ruled this city.
As Tokar looked on in dumbfounded wonderment about what possibilities lay beneath, he thought about what relics may come of this dig. Perhaps they'd find more bones? If they were really lucky, they may even find another of the computing devices. He pulled out the original computing device they had found, admiring the odd shape on the back of the device, tracing his smallest hand-digit around the apple-shaped etching. This one had been utterly destroyed, only the back piece of metal still being any sort of recognizable, but it was clear that the internals once held a small, albeit antiquated computing system.
Sliding the device back into his pocket, he called his Paired Mech over the radio. `` I found it, Harkoun.''
`` Where? was it in the building we suspected?''
`` No, it was two more city-sections down. I'm about to open the door and descend.''
He did n't wait for a response before he bent down and lifted the trap door. He heard a whoosh as air rushed out of the space below. *odd*, he thought. *there should n't be any difference in atmosphere here, unless... *
Just then, a loud bang shot out from the confines of the space below, and a small, metal projectile came racing toward Tokar's head. It was easy enough to dodge, as it was only traveling a few-hundred feet per second. His impact processors easily performed the necessary calculations, sending the results to the necessary limbs causing a chain reaction of movements in his poly-muscle tissues, allowing him to move out of the way a good few hundred micro-seconds before it hit.
`` Woah! I'm unarmed!'' cried Tokar, wondering how another Mech had already been down here. `` State your call-sign and your purpose here, Mech!'' he called down into the whole. Silence was the only response.
After another few moments of silence, he programmed his Reconnaissance Mech to fly down and inspect the area. As he watched in his peripheral view-finder, the small lights on the Recon Mech flooded portions of space around the room, lighting up a spacious, if not comfortable-looking living area. On the table in front of an ancient looking couch sat a round ceramic saucer. It took him only a few seconds to realize that what he was looking at was a utensil once used by the extinct race they were searching the city for relics of. He had the Mech lower towards what he now knew was a plate and studied the view feed. What he saw next sent him into a panic.
`` Harkoun, I need you here! Now!'' he screamed into his radio. He could n't believe what he was looking at. There, on the plate sat a piece of burnt bird meat. Although, it did n't really look burnt. He had to dig into his memory banks to remember the word he was looking for. it looked *cooked*.
`` I'm on my way. Two minutes out!'' Harkoun replied over the radio.
The realization that finally dawned on Tokar hit him like a 10-ton meteor. This could n't be real. This could n't actually be happening. This could only mean one thing. But that was impossible! They've been extinct ever since the first Mechs they built, our distant ancestors, were the sole survivors of the Global Nuclear War they had brought upon themselves. At least that was the story. That was the lore that had been passed down from generation to generation ever since.
Harkoun finally rounded the corner, Assault Carbine in hand, ready for the worst.
`` I may have found something,'' Tokar claimed. `` Something fired a weapon at me when I opened the door.''
`` Ok, what is their call sign?'' Harkoun asked.
`` I do n't think they have one,'' answered Tokar. Harkoun gave him a puzzled look, but did n't press the matter.
One after the other, they lowered themselves into the dimly lit lower room. They glanced around the room, night-vision mode enabled. They found her hunched in a corner, wearing clothing that looked fresh out of the early 2010's. A Human.
|
What would happen to Disney World after the nuclear Apocalypse .
| ( ( Three guesses and the first two do n't count what game series inspired this. Sorry if it's not solely focused on Disney ) )
`` C'mon, just break it open!''
`` Dude, just because they made it *look* old does n't mean it actually *is*. Unless you've got a battering ram --''
**THUNK**
`` Fuck! What're you doing?!''
`` Kicking this shit down, it's this or we go back to fucking Tomorrowland and test our luck against the auto-turrets. I'd rather risk the attention of a few raiders than be stuck outside in this fucking park! Help or run, I'm getting in here!''
**THUNK** **THUNK**
^'' Fucking... ^goddammit, ^fine.''
**THUNK** -- KRNK! **THUNK** -- KRK! KK!
Alton and Dave kicked in unison, the right door splintering at the hinges. Pulling themselves through the gap they'd made, they took stock of the building. It had n't been picked over yet, that was a good sign; no light to speak of other than the moonbeams from the hole they'd made, but it was enough. Styled in the early colonial period, the building was dominated by a large stage and rows of red faux-velvet seats. The Imagineers had done a good job of it, only the hurricane shutters across the windows giving hint that it had n't been sitting there for over two centuries.
`` Trunk.'' Alton muttered a single word, he and his traveling partner shoving the heavy wooden prop over to the door to at least impede anyone who followed them in. He had to hand it to the local, this was a better idea than what he'd thought of. Main Street and most of Fantasy Land had been a total wreck, and Tomorrow Land was... he shuddered, not wanting to remember the pile of corpses that had built up around the park's tech defenses. Liberty Square was definitely the most inhabited of the areas, but he'd trade psychopaths and oversized gators for shambling robotic security and a clicking Geiger counter at this point.
`` I'm gon na poke around, see if we got anything worth dragging with us,'' Dave said, reaching back to pull the shotgun from its holster as he strode down the right aisle toward the back rooms. Alton nodded, taking a more leisurely gait as he checked the rows of seats. The place creeped him out something fierce. Had to be the rusting behemoths and rotting cartoonish heads... there was nothing quite as disconcerting as an abandoned amusement park in the Swamp Wastes. Kicking over a couple bones, he grabbed a key card and the 10-mil pistol off what had apparently been a guard before the bombs hit.
The concession stand food was all spoiled, though it did have a few tills full of cash that he stuffed into his wallet. Grabbing a warm bottle of cola for himself and one for Dave, he slid the key card into the slot and back out; the safe hidden underneath the register popped open, and he fished out some more money and a tin of Mintals ( guess that was one way to keep the staff perky ). Looting complete, he made his way to the stage.
The area beyond the red curtain was pitch black, but he could see a little square of light where Dave had probably managed to get the lights working at the very back of stage left. He crept along, knowing that the wildlife had reclaimed huge swaths of the park. Last thing he needed right now was to meet a radigator... or a wraithcoon colony... or...
Or whatever had started making that ominous hum behind him...
One swift motion, he pulled the pistol, emptying the clip into the thing with the glowing yellow eyes as he backed up as quickly as possible. Another pair of amber lights came on, and another, and another as the first stared directly at him. A squeak made him acutely aware of something behind him, but another clip might as well be back in Orlando proper as in his backpack, for all the good it did him. This was about to get very bad.
`` FFFfffff-o-o-o --'' the thing he'd shot croaked, in a drooping cadence, sparks popping in the dark from where he'd nailed it. `` -- our sccccooooooorrrrrreeeee aaaaand seven yyyyyyeeeeeeaaaarrrrrrrs aaaagooooooo...'' it intoned.
`` Alton! I got the power working and then I heard shots, you --'' the lights flicked on, David seeing the blue-and-yellow-suited traveler pointing his sidearm at Abraham Lincoln. Benjamin Franklin's torso sat glued in a chair, and John Hancock was cemented leaning over a desk, quill in hand. ``... pfffft, hahahaha! You shittin' me dude? Scared of the Founding Fathers and Company, now?''
`` Fuck you.''
`` Aww, do n't worry, I wo n't dress up as George Washington and creep into your bedroom.''
`` No, seriously, fuck you.''
`` Whatever you say, John Wilkes Booth.''
`` Douche,'' Alton sighed, looking behind Dave to the door he'd come out of. `` You find anything, or did you just alert everything in the park as to our location because you thought it'd be funny?''
`` Well, mostly because I thought it'd be funny --'' Dave ducked under a balled up replica of the Declaration of Independence, `` -- but also because I needed the power on to get the computers running. Now that they are, come check this out.'' He led the way, following the posted maps as he navigated into the employees-only section. Down one flight of stairs, then back in the other direction. Two rights and a left, then another stairwell. Dimly, Alton was aware that this must've cost a fortune to install in what was essentially a marsh, once you stripped away the mouse ears and rollercoasters. They rounded a corner, coming to an atrium that led into a huge chamber that halted abruptly in a concrete wall.
The numbered, gear-like door gave them pause; in addition to the typical door, there were two additional bronze gears, forming a pair of ears to the larger door's head. Number 55. Stepping up to the console, Alton flicked a switch and went to work, keys clicking as he searched through the data stores for a semi-encrypted password. Two more tries, and he was in ( MICKEYMOUSE ). Rather than the typical options of `` Contact Overseer'', `` Contact Guard Room'', `` Open Door'', etc., though, the lines of code scrolled up, almost like he'd been locked out.
The screen stayed blank a second, before green text began to appear.
To all who come to this happy place: Welcome. DisneyVault is your Vault. Here age relives fond memories of
the past, and here youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. DisneyVault is dedicated to the
ideals, the dreams, and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of
joy and inspiration to all the world.
Now.
What can I do for you, Mouseketeers?
Not seeing any response as he typed, Alton looked at Dave, flabbergasted. This had never happened before. Dave shrugged in response, before leaning over to speak into the microphone, `` Uh... we'd like to get into the Vault?''
Everyone would. Sorry, but we're at capacity.
`` But... but we need to get in! There was a problem with Vault 134's food recycling unit, we're going to starve in there if you ca n't help us!''
That's very sad, but I'm afraid the health of my own people comes first. We let you in, the crowds start up
again, and soon we're cleaned out by tourists. As much as I want to give you a hand, I just ca n't sacrifice
the health of our inhabitants.
`` There are kids in there.'' Dave muttered, staring at the camera. `` C'mon, help us out.''
...
There are some'gators that have been nesting near the water intake valves, over in Fantasy Land. Go get
those valves unclogged and clear of gators, and we'll have a recycler chip ready for you. Tell anyone that
this Vault exists, and every security node on our network will have you on top priority.
`` Thank you.''
Do n't mention it. To anyone.
`` You got it, Walt.''
|
[ WP ] A machine is invented that 's sole purpose is to allow humans to experience death in whatever way they wanted , without actually dying . You 've decided to give it a try .
| The thing most people do n't realize, of course, is that death itself is n't all that scary.
Unless you believe in an afterlife or anything like that, being dead should n't bother you at all. Just blackness. Oblivion. Could be better, but could also be a hell of a lot worse.
Now *dying*, that's scary. Gasping for breath as the life drains from your body, or clutching at spurting jets of blood - that's fear.
What we've failed to understand in the past is that traditional interrogation only reduces compliance. Hurt someone, and you only strengthen their resolve and make them hate you. Kill them? Now you've got a martyr.
If you want to make someone listen to you, you need to make them fear you.
Trust me. By the time we're done here, you'll have told me what I need to know.
So, how would you like to die first?
|
[ WP ] Write a short story where the main character dies . Then , write a new version of the same story , but this time the character has read your original version . Continue the pattern .
| *At the end of the subway platform, beside the stairs that descend from the street-level intersection, is where Jeffrey fell to his end, smeared across the railway track like strawberry jam. *
Mondays, am I right? No doubt written by some metal-head on their ride into work at—where the hell do goths work? —Spencer ’ s. Or Wal-Mart. Hey, whatever it takes to get you through the day, I always say, though I wish the author would have picked a less popular name for their character. You know. In case someone should, by chance, come across it floating about the floor, and read it, and also share a name with poor, unfortunate Jeffrey. It might damper their already-dampened spirits. On a Monday, no less.
From down the track came the train. I scrunched the paper in my hand and let it fall. The twin lights of the train appeared inside the tunnel, followed by a rush of air, and the crowd jostled closer to the edge of the platform. All their heads turned toward the tunnel, watching the train approach. All heads except one. Far at the end of the platform was a man. He stared at me—though not at all like one might stare accidentally while daydreaming, no. His eyes were bulged, terrified.
And who could blame him?
The resemblance was uncanny.
The man—who was me, as far as I could tell from this far away—pulled a paper from the ground and held it toward me.
Through the crowd it was difficult to see, but the man tipped sideways, possibly bumped or possibly shoved, into the track.
The train screeched. Screamed. A woman swept her son up into her arms and held him tight to her bosom. Blood painted the front of the train, and the train ’ s driver, pale as the tiled platform walls, coasted past, eyes locked on the spray across her windshield.
Despite what I had seen, the uncontrollable shivering crawling up my spine, my mind drew a quick line back to the paper on the subway platform. I ran over to the end of the platform. Weaving through the crowd was easy; their feet were glued to the ground.
The paper the man had been holding out to me tumbled about. It was crisp and neatly folded. A man in a suit noticed me, stared at me, looking expectant. The crowd jostled closer, taking up his impatient expression. Then came the sound of the next train.
A rush of air.
I looked up at the crowd that was staring at me—only they weren ’ t staring at me. They were looking down the tunnel, at the oncoming train. The blood on the track was gone. And there, through the crowd, I saw my own face staring back at me. I raised my hand to wave him away, unaware that in my hand I still clutched the paper, and as I did I glimpsed the first few words scribbled hastily across the top.
*Mondays, am I right? …*
Well Jeffrey was only half as shocked to read all of this as he was to discover his exact body double at the train station one dull and dreary Monday morning. Doubly so when he realized there was not one, but two of them! One at each end of the platform. Crazy, right?
Here ’ s the thing, though: there was a train coming. And all the people who had been seated next to him on the bench against the wall had all just stood up to inch closer to the platform edge. A rush of air blew in from the tunnel, like one great inhalation of breath, and then, from up off the track, floated a single piece of paper. It swirled around the feet of the man at the end of the platform. The Other Jeffrey. The fake Jeffrey.
Fake Jeffrey reached down to scoop up the paper.
Jeffrey raced him to it. An urgency, an explosion of curiosity, launched him forward. He had to know what it said. If perhaps it would read exactly as the story in his own hands, or…
But Jeffrey slipped on the slick floor, and instead, collided with Fake Jeffrey and tumbled with him into the track.
*Mondays, am I right? *
|
[ WP ] Death quit his job . Now people ca n't die no matter what happens to them .
| `` Save me, please!'' begged a faceless woman. This was the consistent begging that I heard from day to day. Did I like it? Not one bit. Did I have to do it? Yes. Was it fair? Sorta. I did n't understand my reason for being here, so I was rebelling. I would n't take the dead, and that sure would get the guy to notice.
`` Free me, please!'' begged a faceless man. I sat, staring at my many costumes. Depending on how I felt from day to day chose my garb. Some days, I went as the Grim Reaper. Others I felt more like the sparkly unicorn guy. Do n't ask. Mood swings were n't healthy for anyone, especially those of my age.
`` Help me, please!'' begged a faceless child. I suppose I could just touch one. And suddenly, there was a blinding light. `` Oh, hey brother,'' I commented, turning toward Michael. His response was, `` Tired of being beat? I'll have to do it if you do n't collect souls. Big guy's getting angry.''
`` Put me out of my misery, please!'' begged an elderly woman, clinging onto life. `` Sorry, bro. If I did, I'd have to stop my couple year strike. That would be like saying that I'm a ninny. Puh-lease, I'd never do that. By the way, Michael, how're Gabriel and Raphy doing?'' I responded, now floating in mid-air. `` We can answer that ourselves, thank you very much,'' responded a group of spirits, the two coming before me
`` The hunger, the thirst. It hurts. Stop it, please!'' begged an elderly man. `` What are we having a gangbang?'' I responded. `` Death, how many times do I have to tell you: you need to stop going on strike. We've been trying to get you into God's favor to relieve you and send the real enemy,'' responded Gabriel, looking at me. Yeah, right I thought. `` Fine,'' I muttered under my breath, but I brought up my point quickly after. `` Uh-uh-uh, not so fast, fam. You got ta let Hitler come to power. I foresee a good future for Germany.'' Raphy, Gabe, and Mike were so quick to nod and carry it out that they did n't even bother looking into the future.
`` Heil Hitler,'' I whistled and put on my unicorn outfit. Today, I felt like pooping rainbows and peeing sprinkles.
|
[ WP ] I love you so I ca n't see you anymore .
| `` No, do n't look at me!'' she screams and you have to turn away, the noise so loud the windows shake in their panes. She's always like this: afraid.
You're dating a wonderful woman named Medusa. She's a little touchy about you looking at her. It's not because she thinks she's ugly—she's not by any means—but because there's this *slight* possibility of you turning into stone if she looks at you. She's this upset about it because she loves you, you know that, but it does frustrate you sometimes. One of you always has to have their eyes closed when the other looks at their face and stuff like that. You wish that it would n't have to be like this.
`` I do n't want to hurt you. We should break up,'' she sobs, snakes curling in her hair, glaring at you for making their lady cry. You frown, `` Darling, I know the risks and I'm willing to make them because I love you.'' She shakes her head and you sigh, understanding her plight. `` One moment,'' you say, trying not to let your voice shake. Her shoulders just heave again as she continues to cry. You make your way to the bathroom.
You open the cabinet, feeling around until your fingers curl around what you're looking for. You pull out the scissors. You stare at your face in the mirror for the last time and then you stab your eyes. First your left, then your right. It hurts, it hurts like bloody hell. You feel the blood run thick down your face. Finally, no more crying. There's nothing to be sad about. You smile ( you think you do ) and lay the scissors down on the counter, then attempt to get to your girlfriend without fainting first.
*I ca n't see you now, my love, is n't it grand? *
|
[ WP ] We finally are able to land on a planet outside our solar system . This planet is entirely empty except for one abandoned store which sits in the middle of the planet . The store is a 7/11 .
| The craft softly lands on the rocky ridge. We are finally here. Smith and I put on our exosuits and prepare to exit. `` What do you think we'll find out there?'' A soft and delayed response quivers off the lips of Smith. `` Fuck, I have no idea, but I'll be happy as long as we make it back with our limbs attached.''
The port decompresses as we slowly lower. The blindly phosphoric horizon seeps through the crevices. My nerves hit: I ca n't breath. I ca n't think.
*Nothing, nothing at all*
`` What... what the fuck... all the way for this? Houston guaranteed we'd find life here.''
`` We should do a sweep anyways?''
**Beep Beep** *BeepBeepBeep*
`` Huh that's peculiar, we're getting a reading from the valley over there.'' We slowly venture out, weapons on our hip; the increased gravity making every step as hard as the mission itself. As we approach the overhang of the cliff, we see it, in all its splendor. *The long sough after Home Of The Slurpee*
A tear rolls down my eye as we bound towards the inconvenient store. We've searched our whole lives for this. It was everything we imagined and more
*We will come again, 7/11, we will. *
|
[ CW ] Click random , then write about the subreddit you arrive in like you 're a nazi explorer reporting to the fuhrer .
| /r/techsupportgore
From: Sicherheitsdienst Abteilung Internet
To: A. Hitler, Fuhrer
Re: The Horrors within Tech Support
Mein Fuhrer,
This report will highlight my findings on the interveb site you enquired about. Contrary to first assessments, the board in question does not concern the murder and killing of actual tech support individuals. Plans to implement their strategies into our existing plans for ethinic clensing have been put on hold. Instead, it seems our enemies have launched upon an attack upon our technological infrastructure. Using highly sophisticated tecniques of `` poor care'','' misuse of device'', and `` lamentable heigeine'' our enemy has been able to launch a sucessful terror campaign against our IT department by victimizing their patients, the computers themselves. The site is flooded with photo evidence of the carnage, and countless afirmations of woe. Treatment usually reserved for Jews is being inflicted on countless computers every day, and I advise we direct further SS funds into public awareness on proper computer maintenence and care.
-Himmler
|
[ WP ] Write a dystopian vision of the future from the perspective of the year 1900 , while actually describing our present world today .
| I guess I'll put in a trigger warning: many racial and ethnic slurs.
A group of middle aged men sat at a lunch counter. Their manner of dress suggested middle manager, small businessmen... important, but not too important. As they ate, they complained about trends being loosed in their society.
**Man 1**: Things are going to hell in a handbasket. It's getting to where nobody knows their place any more.
**Man 2 & 3** nod in agreement
**Man 1**: Why, that Women's Suffrage movement seems to have some actual legs-
**Man 2** interrupts: At least they're nice legs...
**Man 3** snorts with laughter.
**Man 1**: Shut up, I'm talking here. Where was I. Oh yes. If things keep going the way they are, they'll have the vote soon. Next thing you know, they'll be wearing pants, seeking jobs. By 2015 they may have such an advantage that you'll have men who would rather be women!
**Man 3**: It's a travesty...
**Man 2** nods soberly in agreement.
They continue to read the paper for a bit. Man 2 notices an article.
**Man 2**: Look at this. Buncha micks got into another fight.
**Man 3**: Hey now, I got an Irish buddy...
**Man 1** glares at Man 3: Huh. It's getting to where people ca n't tell the difference between a proper white person and an Irishman.
**Man 3**: Now look, they're not all bad.
**Man 1**: That's not the point; it's the principle of the thing! Or do you want to live in a world where not only Irish, but Italians, Poles, and whoever else from the more barbaric parts of Europe can walk down the street like they're no different from properly bred people like ourselves?
**Man 3**: Huh. I guess you got to draw the line somewhere.
They sit in silence for a bit, and Man 2 notices the colored cook.
**Man 2**: Heh, at least Niggers still know their place.
**Man 3** nods in agreement, but **Man 1** is n't so sure.
**Man 1**: I'm not so sure about that. I mean, they technically got the vote in a lot of states. Why, I had to deal with this darkie in a suit the other day. The guy looked like some kind of trained monkey! Oh, he showed proper deference, but I could tell he thought he was just as good as me.
**Man 2** looks shocked.
**Man 1**: Just because it's going slowly, does n't mean it's not happening. It might take a hundred years, but by 2015, one of them might even be president!
**Man 3**: Heaven forbid!
**Man 2**: That would be simply the end!
The three men sign. **Man 1** checks his watch.
**Man 1**: Well, I got to get back to work.
The three men say their parting words, and leave the stage. But the cook from earlier has one more line:
**Cook**: One can only hope...
|
[ EU ] Team Rocket has been dismantled . All the schemes that they plotted all came from one man . A man we all love and trust . Professor Oak .
| When i was just a boy, my mother was very sick. She would often be confined to her bed for weeks at a time and because my father was no longer in the picture, it was up to me to take care of her. When i think back to those days, i think i hatted her. Non the less i tried my very best to do whatever she asked of me because no matter what i had to give up in order to take care of her she was still my mother and i loved her. Soon after i turned 15 she came down with a cold and needed medicine from the next town over. This was no irregular occurrence, but this time the shop down the street where the medicine was usually imported to was closed; the owner it seemed had just decided to run off, leaving only a small sign with an explanation for his loyal costumers. It became very clear to me that i would have to make the trip myself. Now you have to understand that i had never left my town before, the valleys that enclosed our little hamlet may have well as been the edges of the world. I was frightened, but my mother needed her medicine so i did n't hesitate. I had only been walking on the path to my destination for a few minuets before the gravel ran out and the terrain changed to tall grass, and i remember how it seemed to me that it was dancing to some tune that i could n't quite hear. A few steps in i heard a small squeak from somewhere up ahead but i ignored it, our town had been full of pokemon and i was quite used to them by then. The first scratch came without warning, a cold pain appeared quickly on the bad of my leg. I cried out and turned around to see what had caused it. It was a ratitat, just like the ones that could be seen roaming around my town. This one had it's lips pulled tight over it's teeth and it's front lowered close over the ground. It growled at me and all i felt was confusion. I had always been taught that pokemon were our friends, that if you treated them with respect they would do the same to you. It seemed like my world was collapsing, i remember feeling betrayed, angry. I took off running for town with tears forming in my eyes. These were our protectors! Our family! And here i was unable to help my mother because of one of them. I stumbled home with a rage burning inside of me, like hell i was going to let my mother die because of this damned animal! That night i did what i never had the courage to do before, after my mother drifted into one of her nightmares i smashed the lock to my father's shed behind our house. Inside i found what i was looking for, my father had been an avid traveler during his time, but after his death all that remained of him was his old traveling pack and a family that he barely knew. It felt right when i tore open his bag to take what was inside, felt justified. A store of pokeballs and potions was all i needed, and i silently thanked my father. Our family's Machoke had been my caretaker ever since my father left and it made sense that it should aid me now. It was fast asleep when i threw the pokeball and captured it, easier that way. A few days later my mother was recovered and seemed healthier than ever. Outside i seemed the same child, but inside i came to understand the true nature of things. These pokemon i was told to treat as equals where nothing more that tools, animals bestial in nature who only understood strength, and If one had them all, he could rule the world. After it was all over, after my organization had been ruined, the boy came to me with tears in his eyes and asked `` why?'' And all i said in return was, `` Why not?''
|
[ WP ] An atheist is sent back in time and meets Jesus . Describe their conversation .
| `` So you're claiming humanity has discovered the secret of time travel thousands of years from now? You're claiming you're from the future?'' Jesus sat on the stone slab, dressed in road dusted robes, across from the standing man who was strangely dressed.
The other man wore black cargo pants and boots with a light gray cardigan. He also had a beard but it was much darker and shorter than Jesus' long mane. His beard was not nearly as striking. Where Jesus' beard made his brown face look elongated and regal, the other man's beard made the head look round and comical.
`` I'm not claiming anything. I am the proof! Obviously I'm not from this time period!''
`` Obviously you're not from this region.''
`` Then how do you explain the fact we're speaking in perfect English right now? Does this language even exist in this time period?'' The heavyset man shifted his weight to his right foot to assert his intellectual dominance over the messiah.
`` You're speaking Aramaic.''
The man listened closely to his voice and recognized the accent for the first time. `` But how?'' He paused to hear it again, `` I do n't speak Aramaic!''
`` Obviously you do and quite well I must say.''
`` Maybe it's something built into the technology of the time travel device.'' The man huffed. An ardent atheist he always looked for the simplest and most logical explanation to a situation.
`` Maybe it's a... miracle.'' Jesus smiled and pointed to the cup the atheist was holding. `` Need a refill?''
The atheist's fingers twitched with muscle memory to raise his cup. He became conscious, eyed the goblet suspiciously and then sniffed the contents.
`` It's wine! I was drinking water. You're trying to get me drunk! No wonder I'm confused.''
`` Now how could I turn your water into wine? That would be... improbable''
`` Improbable...'' the atheist mumbled in agreement.
`` Almost as improbable as a man traveling thousands of years back in time.''
`` Yes yes.... Wait NO! Damn it Jesus!''
Jesus leaned back against the rock, `` Are you asking me to damn something or are you taking my name in vain?''
The atheist sighed and sat next to Jesus on the slab. `` Sorry, I'm just frustrated. I need 1.21 jigawatts of power for my time machine or I can not return to my time. The only power source in this time period capable of generating that much energy would be a lightening bolt... Even still I'll have to devise a way to get it back from the Romans. I need some way to infiltrate their prison.''
`` Ah, I see! Well if you stick around for another week there's going to be quite the storm rolling in over Golgotha Hill.'' Jesus clasp his hands for a moment and his demeanor darkened a bit.
`` Why do I feel like you're not taking me seriously? Do n't you believe me?'' The atheist was becoming frustrated.
`` Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence!'' Jesus laughed and his mood brightened. He tapped his wine goblet against the atheist's cup. It now sat full to the brim with wine. `` Now about this machine of yours, I think I know someone on their way inside the Roman prison.''
|
Subsets and Splits
No saved queries yet
Save your SQL queries to embed, download, and access them later. Queries will appear here once saved.