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[ WP ] A Mormon door to door guy and a Jehovah 's Witness door to door guy are knocking down the same street , and bump into each other . They have a conversation ...
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I know almost EXACTLY how it would go. It totally depends on the mormon/j-dubs who are out knocking doors. Let's explore a bit.
Elders Monroe hated his companion, he hated the area he was assigned to, and, well, he just was having an attitude problem. His companion was so.. weird, he'd say to himself constantly. He did n't want to be there. *It's so hot here, I have a constant sun burn. Why could n't I have gone to some place where i'd learn another language instead, like South America or Hong Kong. Places where we'd have real success, not on mainland U.S.. This is so dumb. * < family background >
The Florida weather was so hot and humid all day and night, but there they were knocking doors from 10 am to 9 pm anyway. They only got a short stop to eat lunch around one and dinner at six. Such a freaking robot, were what the others said about his companion. They all knew he worked hard, but he HAD to be up EVERY MORNING at 6:30 am and do the ritual exercise. If they were n't, there was always the fear he'd call the district leader. *I ca n't wait until I get a new companion, one that's not such a stiff, then we can get real work done, through the members. That's where it's at. *
*Elder Roboto, * Elder monroe thought to himself, was constantly tracting, always knocking doors. *Rain or shine, it's what he thinks we need to do that's effective. I'm sick of this crap. * It was right then, that the Jehova's witnesses, or J-Dubs as mormons like to call them, showed up around the corner of the cul-de-sac. *This is going to be fun*, he thought, smiling to himself.
Elder Monroe's met Jehova's witnesses before, and he'd tried to be friendly with them, and usually they were. Sometimes they'd try to bash scripture with the LDS missionaries, but the missionaries were taught to be careful and try to sidestep any type of battling. The Elders were getting closer to the Jehova's witnesses, and Elder Monroe was beginning to wonder whether these would be the kind of ones to battle it out.
His companion seemed totally oblivious to anything around him. It was 3 pm, they had a dinner appointment with the local bishop at 5 pm, who was about a 30 minute drive from where they were. *Only an hour and a half of more of this* he thought to himself, as they walked from the last doorstep where he stood silently while his companion would talk about their pamphlet, `` [ The Restoration ] ( https: //www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/manual/missionary/pdf/36920_the-restoration-eng.pdf? lang=eng )''.
They knocked on the door, and after a few seconds, told his companion, `` I'll do this one'' he said. His companion's head reeled back in a bit of a shock, surprised that Elder Monroe would open his mouth. An elderly man was coming to the door, who took his time. Elder Monroe felt like pulling out their `` [ the Plan of Salvation ] ( https: //www.lds.org/bc/content/ldsorg/content/english/manual/missionary/pdf/36950_the-plan-of-salvation-eng.pdf? lang=eng )'' pamphlet to talk to the man instead.
As the door opened, Elder Monroe knew this was going to be good. He felt excited, and he felt like he could sharer something to uplift this older man. `` Hello, sir, My name's Elder Monroe, and this is my friend. Have you wondered about what it means to exist, where we came from before we were born, why we're here, or where we're going to go after we die?''
The old man looked up, at Elder Monroe, saying `` Why yes, I have wondered what happens after we die. Come in, come in.'' Elder Monroe started to smile even more. This was the first person to let them in all day long. Air conditioning! He had to soak in the time while he could!
The old man let them in, and they were able to teach a good 20-minute message, and got a return appointment for the next day! Elder Monroe had begun to liven up with some spring and pep in his step with his companion.
They stopped though, the j-dubs were about to walk to the man's house they were just at, coming right at the elders! what were they supposed to do? Elder Monroe stopped there on the street pulling out his planner and wrote down the guy's address and return time for the next day.
The J-Dubs came up, and stopped on the sidewalk, looking at the elders. `` Hey guys, what's goin' on?'' one of them said. `` Oh nothing, just getting out of a meeting with one of our members. We're just waiting for a ride now to come pick us up.'' Elder Monroe replied, whose companion looked at him as if to say: `` I do n't know what you're doing but I'll follow along.'' *oh please oh please oh please do n't knock on the old man's door! * Elder Monroe thought to himself. He and his companion were literally standing in front of the old man's walkway. They'd have to cross the grass to get to his door.
`` You know, you guys, I've always wondered about what you teach about Christ as God's son.'' The Jehova's witnesses were using their little study guide, `` [ What does the Bible *Really* teach? ] ( http: //www.jw.org/en/publications/books/bible-teach/ )''.
... and right about here is where i hit writer's block. BBL.
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[ WP ] Write a `` 5 minute mystery '' ( a short mystery the reader can solve using only the clues provided ) . Readers : write a furthering scene that reveals the solution in the comments section .
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β BOOM HEADSHOT! β Adam jumped from the sofa with his victory cry.
Jeremy tossed the controller down in frustration. β This game is rigged. I β m getting another beer. β
Jeremy looked towards the young man sitting on the loveseat next to his girlfriend, Lauren. β What about you Rick. Gon na put down your lock picks for long enough to have a beer with me? β
Rick sat with his eyes closed in a near meditative state, feeling gently inside the lock with a narrow, hook shaped pick. A faint click of the lock changed his expression from peaceful to annoyed. β I just got my Abus lock today. I β ve almost got it. Just give me some peace. β He said glaring at Jeremy.
β You β re not going to get it, β Lauren said without taking her eyes off her laptop, β you barely opened that Master lock last week. β
β Yeah, well you let me know when you β re done hacking in to the NASA servers over there. β Rick slipped back into his trance, closing his eyes and inserting the picks back into the thick padlock.
Jeremy sighed and left the love birds to bicker. As he entered the kitchen, he noticed Jenny hovering inches away from a sheet of cookies holding a thin paint brush. She looked up as he opened the fridge and grabbed a beer but quickly resumed her work. Jenny dipped her brush into a small bowl and started drawing a swirl on one of the cookies.
β Why are you painting cookies with invisible ink? β Ask Jeremy.
β It olive oil β she responded finishing the swirl on her cookie, β and you β ll be able to see it when I β m finished. β She picked up a powdered sugar shaker and covered the sheet of cookies in a healthy layer. She blew a gentle stream of air over the cookies and the only the powder held by the olive oil remained. β See look how pretty they are β Jenny proudly displayed the cookies now decorated with perfect sugar swirls. Jeremy reached in to grab one but his hand was swatted away. β Hang on, I have to take a picture first. β Jeremy, clearly impatient from waiting, snatched a cookie from the tray.
β You know we would have eaten these pain. β He said through a mouthful of cookie. He loaded up with another cookie and beer then headed back to the living room.
β So are you going to break into the liquor store when you finally pick that lock? β Lauren continued their pointless bickering.
Rick let out a sigh as the lock made another defeating click. β I β m doing this because it β s like a puzzle, not because I want to be some master criminal. What about you CSI-Miami, you still chatting with your hacker buddies. β
β I β m working on a Java project for my coding class. β she replied.
Jeremy flopped down on the sofa next to Adam. β You ready to get your ass kicked again? β Adam said offering a controller to Jeremy.
β Nah man, you cheat. β
β I β m just an FPS legend. Seriously look at this. β Adam handed his phone to Jeremy. He wiped the crud of the iPhone to reveal a picture of their TV with Adam's name at the top of the score list. β 17 kills and 1 death, β Adam beamed.
Jeremy handed the phone back. β Are you proud you can beat up on 13 year olds? β
Jenny appeared out of the kitchen holding a plate of perfectly decorated cookies. β I have snacks! Oh, what are you working on? β Jenny leaned over Laurens shoulder to get a better look at her laptop. β Ohh, Reddit. I love that site. β Rick shot a glare towards Lauren who was clearly avoiding her homework. β Hey is that Adam? β Lauren continued, pointing toward the bottom of the screen.
β I wan na see. β Rick put down his lock and moved closer to the girls. β Wowβ¦ uhhh. Is thatβ¦. Are you wearing a red thong? β He said taking a closer look at the picture.
Jeremy stood up dropping half of a cookie off his lap. He moved around to the back of the love seat where he could see what everyone was talking about. There was a picture of Adam, hands on his hips and looking confident, wearing a bright red lace thong. Jeremy took a long drink of what was remaining in his beer.
Adam finally wedged his way into the crowd around the computer. β Who did this! That β s a private picture. β He screamed slamming the laptop closed. β One of you must have stole it off my phone. β He grabbed the computer from Laurens lap jerking it away from her and causing Jenny to spill the plate of cookies.
β It was you, β Adam said, pointing at Jeremy, β always drunk and mad that you can β t beat me. β
β Hey man, I β m not like that β Jeremy replied.
β Or you, β Adam yelled now pointing towards Rick, β always trying to break into things. You have no respect for privacy. β
β I think a pad lock and an iPhone are a bit different to break into. β Rick said.
β You β re right. It was you β re girlfriend the hacker! β Adam was growing more hysterical.
β I β m a coder not a hacker. Even the FBI can β t hack into iPhones. β Lauren said defending herself.
β What about Jenny. You β d do anything for a bit of karma wouldn β t you? β Adam said as he retreated to the opposite end of the room.
β Get over yourself. I don β t even know how to get into your phone. β Jenny said bending down to clean the mess of cookies.
Adam started breathing faster and clutched Lauren's laptop closer to his chest. He had a wild look in his eyes as his gaze shifted between his three suspicious friends. β Wait, I know what happenedβ¦ β
& nbsp;
********
^ ( My first try at a mystery, thanks for reading! Hopefully I left enough clues without making it too easy. Let me know what you thought. )
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[ WP ] Four years ago , your dog and best friend disappeared . Today , your dog appears at your doorstep . You dog says , `` I have been many places and seen many things , human . Its time we had a chat . ''
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You take a step back in amazement. Your departed beagle, Fletcher, lumbers between your legs into the family room, and lifts his rolls of fat with some panache onto the sofa. You continue to stare in a crazed fashion at your former best friend. Already your mind is trying to explain what just happened, the thoughts'hallucination' and'dream' begin rising to the level of consciousness. But in the middle of a decidedly dog like yawn Fletcher speaks again. `` I understand this is going to be overwhelming for you. But just try to stay calm''. Now you are trembling, your eyes are glazed over in a stupor. You try to speak several times but keep choking on the words. Fletcher lets himself down off the sofa with a familiar movement of his brown and white girth, waddles over to your leg and gives it a lick. A flash of light shines in your eyes as his tongue touches your ankle and a feeling of relief floods your body.
`` Fletcher I missed you so much boy''. Tears fill your eyes and run down your cheeks. `` Where have you been all these years?'' The absurdity of Fletcher's re-appearance and gift of human speech no longer astound you. You speak to your former pet as if he were a long lost brother.
`` I was abducted from this place by visitors''
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[ WP ] As a citizen of Mushroom Kingdom , you uncover evidence that Princess Toadstool was secretly dating Bowser all along , and you must break the news to Mario .
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Gill held the great honor of serving as her majesty, Princess Peach's personal servant. He helped her get into those absurd dresses, served her freshly prepared food, and tidied anything that managed to find itself out of place. Pride and gratitude for his position compelled him to perform these tasks dutifully and thoroughly.
And so it was that he came upon a letter hanging from a secret door that had been hastily closed. He moved to push the letter back in, trying not to read the words. He respected his princess' privacy. As he pushed the letter, he revealed a second underneath it. The first had been written in the tight, neat script of the princess. This second letter was covered in an unkempt scrawl.
Gill's curiosity bested him, and he carefully withdrew the letters, glancing at the door to verify his privacy. It was closed. Quite alone, he examined the letters more closely. His stomach tightened and his pulse quickened. The letters fell to the floor. Gill staggered backward, barely catching himself on a nightstand.
Bowser was n't kidnapping the princess. He was dating her!
Gill's mind reeled with this information. He had to do something. Anything to take his mind off this terrible revelation. After carefully replacing the letters, he slipped out of the princess' chambers and took a stroll across the grounds.
By the time he had reached the end of the royal gardens he had decided. He must tell Mario. Better for him to decide what to do with this information than a lowly toadstool like himself. He found Mario with Luigi in the sparring grounds. Luigi wore hardplated, black armor and pelted Mario with throwing hammers. Mario, dressed like a raccoon deftly dodged the hammers with a spin, then leapt into the air, flying at Luigi and finishing him with a kick.
The armor exploded, but Luigi remained full-sized. Righting himself, Luigi leapt into the air. Mario, now firmly planted on the ground, rolled away as Luigi came crashing down, leaving a small crater in the ground. As Mario righted himself from the roll Luigi slid past, sweeping Mario's legs out from under him.
Mario's cape vanished, revealing his familiar red-and-blue attire. Mario reached for a green turtle shell, hurling it at Luigi. Luigi jumped over the shell as it whipped past, but it ricocheted off a wall and came racing back toward him. Taken from behind, Luigi shrunk to half his size.
`` Wahoo!'' Mario celebrated, but in his excitement he forgot the turtle shell, which bowled him over, shrinking him to just shy of Luigi's dimunitive stature.
`` Oh-a mamma mia...'' He moaned, rubbing his head.
`` Er... excuse me, Mario. I'm sorry to bother you, but there's something I need to tell you.'' Gill interjected.
`` Let's-a play!'' Mario answered.
`` Um... yes... well, there's no easy way to tell you this. The princess, she's dating Bowser!''
`` Mama Mia!'' Mario exclaimed. For a moment, he sat as still as a statue. Then his brows shot downward in determination. He picked himself up, dusted himself off, and bit off a hunk of flower nearby. Instantly transfigured to his full height with shimmering clothing that shot off an occasional ember. Gill could feel the heat emanating from him, and he was n't entirely sure it was from the fire-power. Mario nodded over to Luigi who now sported similar attire, although where Mario burned with a fiery passion, Luigi chilled with an icy rage.
`` Let's-a go!'' Mario grunted, and they sprinted off toward the castle.
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[ WP ] Steve takes the same route to work every day . One day at an intersection where he always turns right , he sees a billboard that has a picture of his wife and daughter and reads `` Turn left , Steve '' .
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Driving along as normal. My black BMW purrs away as it turns the usual corners. The traffic lights change ahead and I press my break pedal until the front of my car just touches to edge of the crossing. I put my right indicator on and then look around at my surroundings. All the houses are the same, but they've put a new billboard up. I glance at it and then catch my name,'Steve' written in big red letters. I look closer and see smaller writing above it,'turn left'. Next to the text is a large picture of my wife and daughter; they're both smiling; it's the picture from when we went to Greece 3 years ago.
I change my indicator just as the traffic lights change. The driver behind me hits his horn as I swerve in front of him; hitting the gas pedal more and more as the road becomes clearer. I'm watching the road; looking for any signs pointing to my wife and daughter; pointing to the psychopath that must have hold of them. I nearly miss a billboard on my left and make a handbrake turn. I drive quickly again, knowing that this is the road to the ravine.
I brake before I get too close and then step out the car. The heat turns everything into a orange haze and I'm blind to whoever's out there. I walk to the edge of the ravine; look left and then right; there's no-one there. I'm about to shout when too late I hear footsteps behind me. I'm hit hard in the back as I try to turn around and feel my heel wobble on the edge of the cliff. I reach out as I fall and manage to grab a piece of the person's clothing. They cry out and they fall to the ground as I dangle off of cliff. Their face squished into the rock as they grip onto the jagged stone. I have no where to go and I was n't letting go of his shirt front any time soon.
His eyes turned on me and we gazed at each other for a second,'we have your wife and daughter,' he coughed as he inhaled some of the orange dust.
'I guessed as much,' I wanted to say but instead said,'why?'
'Because it's the way she wanted it.'
'She. She who?' I thought.
He saw the question of in my eyes,'your wife wanted it this way. She wants to leave you for another man.'
'My wife wants to leave me.' Was all I managed to say.
'Yes,' he replied, attempting to nod and then remembering he could n't,'she could n't tell you because she was too afraid.'
'Too afraid? Of me?' I asked.
'Yes, she told my brother all about you,' he said awkwardly,'and we agreed that this is the only way she could escape.'
'What has she told you about me,' I asked, utterly confused.
'Your violent temper to her and your daughter,' he said, hatred seeping into his voice.
'My violent temper,' I was shocked,'I have never done anything to my wife. I'd never hurt her or my daughter. If she'd told me she was leaving I would n't have had the guts to fight against her. I would have let her leave with my daughter if that would have made her happy.'
'She said you would say something like that,' he whispered,'she said you always say the same thing; it's your alibi.'
'It's the truth,' I begged.
'She said you'd say that too,' he said trying to prise my fingers off of his shirt. Unfortunately for him I was n't letting go.
'Let go,' he snarled.
'Would you,' I whispered as I brought my right hand over the cliff and grabbed the front of his black jacket,'when you have n't done anything wrong.'
'I'm sorry,' he said, sounding as if he was beginning to believe me.
'It's all right,' I said heaving myself up enough so my elbows rested on the edge.
He tried to struggle against my grip but it was too late. I climbed onto the flat before I let him go and them grabbed the back of his jacket. he attempted to undo the button, but before he could he was over the edge. I had hold of his shirt again; this time though it was his turn to dangle. He looked down and gulped; struggling to find the same foothold I had.
'Please,' he cried.
'Tell me where she is and I might let you live.'
'I can't-'
I let the front of his shirt go a little and he screamed.
'Tell me where she is,' I repeated.
'14 Park Road,' he squealed,'now pull me up.'
'I'm sorry,' I said,'but I lied.'
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[ WP ] You 're in love with a girl whose eyes are like the stars , her glare can set your skin afire .
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So, I have n't exactly had the best luck with relationships. My first girlfriend was a wee bit more religious than I was. Seemed her father had died without announcing to the world that he had been saved. Some preacher, who somehow was aware of this, convinced my girl that her dad was now doomed to roam purgatory for eternity. She was convinced that she should die so that her poor father could be redeemed and saved. Needless to say, our relationship did n't work out.
My next girlfriend was on a mix of seven different antipsychotic medications. She claimed to have severe `` energy imbalances'', but I always just chalked it up to her mornings of energy shots and her evenings of vodka. But what do I know? I'm not a doctor. She had issues of a clinging sort as well. Seemed she had tried to kill herself before we met. Needless to say, things between us did n't work out.
However, I have hope for a lovely young girl I recently met named Serene. I'm not ashamed to say that we met up on a small website called eharmony.com. Of course, she looked nothing like her picture; she looked even better. However, Serene is, I admit, a bit different in manners and appearance. Her skin is porcelain white and each strand of hair perfectly frames her face. Her features are doll-like and she rarely speaks.
For our first date, I picked her up at her place. I will never forget how nervous I was. Her home was in a bit of disrepair. In fact, it was so bad that I thought the home had long been abandoned. `` Just my luck,'' I thought to myself. `` I meet a great girl online and she's nothing but a fake.'' But, with flowers in hand, I cautiously proceeded to the door. Before I could knock, the door slowly crept open. Nervously, I entered the house while announcing my presence. The house was dim and musty. Thick curtains adorned the windows and dark wallpaper covered the walls. Just as I turned a corner, I came face to face with my date. Saying nothing, she stood in front of me her eyes rarely blinking. Even in the darkness I was struck by her wide, starry eyes. `` Must be a bit shy,'' I thought to myself. I placed the flowers in a vase and, while spinning a great joke, proceeded to escort her out.
Dinner was amazing. She seemed to be incredibly nervous, so I took to ordering her meal. She devoured her salmon with a ferocity I have never seen before. With both hands she tore into her dinner as soon as the plate was placed in front of her. I was only partially joking as I asked the waiter if he still had all his fingers. In my opinion, women are definitely taking dieting fads to an unhealthy extreme. I admit it was a bit unladylike to see her gnashing, clawing, and licking at her plate, but it just made me feel so good to know that I had found something she liked.
After dinner, we decided to have a game of mini-golf. Actually, I suggested the idea and she did n't say `` no''. Quietly, she followed me onto the course putter in hand. I do n't think she had ever been to a mini-golf course before, but apparently she was too shy to tell me. I'll never forget the look on that young kids face as she went up to his ball on the tee and proceeded to hit it as hard as she could. At least the poor chap she hit seemed to be a good sport about it. True, he was n't speaking in complete sentences when the paramedics arrived, but he was n't swearing either.
Upon finishing our game, we made our way to a cozy little bar. As we were sipping our drinks, a jerk decided to approach. He began by insulting me: my weight, my height, the shirt I was wearing, but then his eyes turned to Serene. `` You okay, love? What's a matter, ca n't you speak?'' He had obviously been drinking, but I still could n't believe he was making a move on my date. But then, as he tried to place his arm on her shoulder, Serene grabbed his arm, calmly said `` no'', and proceeded to stare the man down. You'll never believe it, but that man's shirt proceeded to catch on fire. In fact, it looked like the skin of his arm caught on fire. Talk about karma. My guess is that he spilled some drinks and had some type of a lighter malfunction, but what do I know? As the lunatic ran off towards the restroom, I grabbed serene and escorted her home.
As I stood there, awkwardly, with her. She took my hand and slightly kissed me on the cheek. I'll never forget my first date with Serene. To tell you the truth, I think she could be the one. I know it's a bit sappy and soon to be thinking about such things, but hey, you got ta stay positive!
To those people who worry about the number of weirdos and psychos online, I say give it a shot; you may find yours eventually.
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[ FF ] What 's on the tape ?
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`` Is that it?'' He sighed. `` Yeah. I hate watching these.'' `` It's necessary. We have to know.'' Bob pushed the tape into the TV/VCR player that was all the department could afford. Up on the screen appeared a little boy, about three, clutching a teddy bear. `` Do n't. Please, not again!'' The close ups were the worst. He reviewed it all. `` We have it. It's all we need.'' Another day, another perp. One day, one day, we wo n't have to do this any more, thought Bob. If the medicine works, we'll never have to do this again. He sighed, and for the last time, picked up the phone. `` Pick him up. He's ours.'' The last man to be arrested for that hideous crime would be the first treated with the new cure.
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[ WP ] Aliens establish first contact with the government of another country . The White House gets offended .
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`` Sir, it's happened''
`` What has happened''
`` The others, they have... uhm... they've made contact again.''
`` What the hell do you mean they've made contact? The Joint Chiefs have n't contacted me''
`` Sir they have made contact with another country''
`` Which country?''
`` Botswana, sir''
`` Botswana?! What could they possibly hope to achieve there? We told them we were trying to change, but change on the scale they demanded takes time. Attempt contact with them immediately!''
`` Mr. President we are still unable to reach them via all communications attempts. We are n't exactly sure but our analysts believe it is due to recent events in Iran...''
`` I am the President of The United States of America, I will not stand for this! Get me a secure line to the Pentagon!''
`` Right away sir''
Unbeknownst the general population, an alien civilization had been in sporadic and infrequent contact with the United States Government starting in the year 1950. It was unknown the the government how to contact the beings who referred to themselves as `` the Shaveh'' and communication would only occur when the Shaveh initiated it.
The year 1950 was the beginning and contact would take place again in 1965, 1990, 2001, 2003, and 2014. The messages conveyed started out cryptic, vague, but with each contact there meaning became more clear. By 2014 no two way communication was had, and only a very brief message was delivered. The message was the source of many sleepless nights for the President and each time he read it, an uneasy feeling came over him. A feeling of desperation, of something that he could n't or would n't be able to stop. The feeling of an addict who has gotten clean but knows, knows its only a matter of time. The message read:
You have been told in all things, love, honesty, equality, peace.
You have ruled with hate, deception, discrimination, and war.
Your time has passed.
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[ Wp ] Humans have discovered how to live forever , allowing them to die when they feel ready to do so . But it is considered bad form to live for too long . You have lingered much longer than is polite and those around you are trying to convince you to die .
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If you have dreamed about living forever before the nineteenth century, people would have said you β re crazy. If you insisted that humans could live forever before the twenty first century, you would probably have a date with a straightjacket and a padded cell. But, today if you said that you lived too long and wanted to die, people would applaud you for it.
Funny how society works sometimes.
Genetic coding and restructuring, hailed the biggest scientific leap in mankind. And it β s more infamous title, mankind β s greatest back step in sociology. Each of us now looked exactly like how we entered the gene clinic before the treatment. We still retained all our strength and knowledge, which the researchers assured that we would keep indefinitely.
β With this technology, we can conquer time itself. β The researchers who developed the technology had happily announced this during their Noble Prize speech. It was sort of ironic how each of them chose to end their lives before their 200th birthday.
To be honest, I was rather tired of this world. I β ve been to Everest far too many times to know which patch of ice was dangerous, and racing was getting very dull. Life sucked, but I wasn β t going to move on.
β Just take the pill, it won β t hurt I promise, β my granddaughter, who was a hundred and nine years old, was trying to offer me poison to kill myself. And people still argued that society wasn β t already screwed up.
β Nope, not happening, β
β Here comes the airplane. β She cooed, trying a different approach.
β I β m 400 years old, not 4. You β re just disgracing yourself. β
β Well, you β re kinda throwing a tantrum of a 40-year-old going through his midlife crisis. β
β Eh, whatever, β I tried to shoo her away.
β Surely you can β t be serious, gramps. Even both your sons have already moved on, why are you so insistent in staying alive? β
β For starters, my name ain β t Shirley, β I bared my teeth. β And I don β t care what other people think of me or what my family does. I β ll be myself, thank you. β
She cocked her head to a side and giggled. β Are you afraid of death, gramps? β
β Death, β I smirked. β Don β t make me laugh, I ain β t afraid of him. β
β Time waits for no one, but death waits for everyone. β She tried reasoning once more.
β Tell him to keep waiting then. β
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[ WP ] Without warning , a nuclear explosion took out a major U.S. city , and no one is quite sure who did it . What happens next ?
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Bossman is screaming `` Broken Arrow! Broken Arrow!''
Fire control is hollering about releasing weapon locks and NUCFLASH
Local net is saying complete obliteration of D.C.
Long net special orders of Her Majesties Royal Navy is announcing that Westminster is gone and they are opening their Letter of Last Resort.
A Rivetjoint over NAmPac is saying Russia has been hit and has gone dark.
Kunsan is reporting explosions to the north.
Countries everywhere are announcing mobilizations on the largest scale ever seen.
SATCOMM pings us with one of the most informal commands I've seen.
`` Earths toilet is flushing, better get our shit to the pot.''
`` Weapons free. Execute order'RED WINTER'. Give'Em Hell.''
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[ WP ] All human babies are born immune to hunger . People do not need to eat , but if they do , they will thereafter need to eat as normal or die of starvation .
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When humanity finally took the leap to genetically alter offspring to no longer require food for sustenance, the backlash was immense. There was a substantial market around the food industry, and those deep pockets crafted as many slander campaigns and did as much lobbying as it could afford.
Stan Pelchat, a Republican senator from Iowa, became famous for coining the term `` No Meal, No Deal.'' His campaign to reverse the legislation garnered interest nationally.
Local news stations would appeal to emotion, doing fluff pieces about family-owned restaurants that would go out of business after so many years of providing for their community. Donald and Jessica Rovessi, with their quaint little Italian diner, would no longer be able to feed their family that would still need to eat. Meals were culturally important, they said.
The Harvard study that showed a non-eater would have to eat for the rest of their life after ingesting more than 800 calories brought on waves of propaganda. Allusions to drugs and addiction were the most common. Super PACs funded television, radio, and magazine ads in opposition. There was even an advertisement during the Super Bowl, sandwiched between commercials for Taco Bell and Doritos.
The changes went through with a much less dramatic impact. New social issues would arise, including what was termed as `` food rape.'' Denise Andrews was drunk, she said, and would never have eaten the food James Spera prepared for her if she had been in her right mind. She felt coerced, she claimed, and now she has to alter her entire lifestyle to fit around meals.
Years on, food became a status symbol. If you could afford to eat every day, it was a testament to your affluence. The lower supply fueled a higher demand, and food prices skyrocketed. Small meals that were under the 800 calorie mark became luxuries, providing people with a new experience without the risk of dependence. Of course, humanity as a whole had never really been a fan of moderation, and millions became eaters.
The food industry was doing better than ever before, with the majority of the middle class scrounging for the basest of meals. Food companies faced scandals similar to the tobacco industry with the advertisements that targeted children. As a result, Happy Meals were outlawed, and no remaining restaurant was allowed to have a Kid's Menu.
On the plus side, American obesity was all but eliminated.
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[ WP ] Opposites really do attract . Awful people are attracted to the nicest . Generous attracted to selfish .
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`` Fuck off!'' I retorted. Yet she slide closer to me. Was it wrong, I wondered, that I liked her large eyes and nice body? We were the same age, but our similarities ended there. People maintained opposites attract, but that is n't true, she ca n't be right for me.
She ca n't be right for me, because I'm not meant to be attracted to the same gender.
She was openly a tease when it came to me, but I was cold to everyone. I refused to take her to anything I'd have to pay for, but she spent all her earnings on me. I never did anything with her that she would enjoy, but she stomached that with the most natural and beautiful smile on her face, then got me tickets to my favourite band, or a dinner with my favourite author.
`` Look, Amethyst. You're great. I'm just... just... erm...'' I do n't know what she did to make me trail off. Maybe it was the faint scent of flour in her hair from the blueberry muffins and chocolate cake she made for me on a whim, or the way she looked up with those lilac eyes into mine as if she had never seen anything more beautiful and for some reason it caused my throat to shut down.
`` I know I'm great. You, however have a ton of flaws!'' She giggled. `` You're sort of pessimistic and negative. Always telling me I'm weird, and brushing off my compliments. You're perfect though! You're my natural diamond.'' She said cheerfully, perhaps in an attempt to ginger me.
`` Fuck off.'' I retorted. She made it so hard to think with the way she teased me, and if needed, made me jealous beyond reason. She wanted to give herself to... `` Me.'' I said oddly.
`` What?'' She said cheerfully as always. `` Oh my god you're brilliant I could kiss you!'' She smirked slightly. `` Then do it.'' Ah. Shit. Me and my small mouth. `` No time, I've got lyrics!'' Another thing about her, she was so supportive.'' Yes! You're absolutely fantastic Becki! Now lay it on me!''
I rolled my eyes as I pulled the marker pen I kept in my jeans pocket out. `` Paper... need paper... paper where?'' I looked around, pissed off that my ugly red hair kept getting in the way of my eyes when I needed to write something down urgently.
`` I have an idea. Write it on me!'' She said, and with an indescribable tone I knew, just knew that she wanted me to write it where many teenage boys eyes looked when she was in a bikini. Damm she knew just how to say things to make me think of them... look at them... stop!
`` Impractical. You're too soft and squishy.'' I said as I squeezed her arm, pretending I missed the point entirely. `` If it was n't for my stupid hyper sensitivity I'd write it on myself!'' I growled, only to be met with the word `` Chill.'' In response.
`` So what's on your mind Becki?'' She said, I did n't know what to say and my mind was wandering as I tried to grasp onto the fleeting lyrics I had thought of. Amethyst lead close, and whispered in my ears `` Is it my good looks?''
And the lyrics were lost as I did think about them. People say that line about thinking about elephants. Well those people are liars and you can just not think of elephants. The thing is, I was a hormonal teenager with a girl desperately in love with me, a girl I could n't ignore. It was unfair!
`` Ah fuck! I forgot the lyrics!'' What a colossal bitch! `` Sorry, but you're working yourself to death on that song, you need to relax and I'll force you to do that!'' Liar! My song writing is perfectly healthy.
`` Tell you what. You, me and some tickets to that band you love, front row tickets.'' How. How did she get them! Why! Why did I have to be her soulmate? I did n't even like her! It'd been like this for two years.
Where I did n't date anyone in case she found out and I upset her...
Where I spent most my waking hours with this girl.
Where I agonised over what to wear when going to see her.
Oh.
We were in a relationship, were n't we? We'd banter, reference in jokes, worry about stupid shit together. We slept in the same bed once or twice. Oh my god.
`` I love you, you pig headed stubborn ass.'' She licked her lips. `` Really that's what you think of my ass? I was wondering why you stare at it so much.''
`` Fuck off.'' I retorted.
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[ WP ] Depressed , you decide to play Russian Roulette every night ... A year has passed and you 're still alive
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I am so incredibly stupid. At least that's what my dad always said about me. And my mom. And my teachers. Come to think of it, everyone really. Now I'm 23 and live in an apartment just off of my college campus. I've had a revolver since my 18 birthday. I decided I want to die, but I do n't want to straight up commit suicide. That would be boring.
I bought one very large box of ammunition for the revolver. I did n't think I'd ever discharge more than one ever, but I thought, what the hell.
Every night since the night I bought it, that gun was in my mouth, except with only one bullet in it. It's called Russian roulette. I learned it in some old spy movie or something. Anyway for the first year I pulled the trigger once a night after spinning the barrel, but when the hammer fell, I still had my head.
It's been 5 years now. Same deal. Every night I give it a go, every night I survive. That bullet had n't moved since the day I put it there on my 18 th birthday.
I decided that tonight, I'm ending it, so I put the gun to my temple, and just pulled the trigger as often and as yucky as I could. I still survived. I checked the barrel and that's when I realized, maybe my parents were right about me being stupid as shit.
Anyway I ACTUALLY put a bullet in the gun this time so if I suddenly stop posting, you know why.
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[ WP ] Humanity has contacted hundreds of alien civilizations . All of them have one legend in common -- the fat guy in a red suit who gives gifts to good little children .
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Three men of different species sat around a table at a low-lit bar. The atmosphere of the room was mellow and quiet, the only light coming from the floating lights around the bartender, and small lamps at every table.
The human at the table swirled his glass before taking a sip. `` Yeah, we still celebrate a few pagan holidays. It's more of a marketing and social thing than anything else really.''
One of his companions, a Gungarian, leaned forward and put his elbows on the table. `` As do we. But I doubt yours are stranger than mine.''
The other man at the table, a Ronduran, twitched his whiskers. `` Somehow I find that impossible. We have a winter celebration where the lore states a man breaks into our nests, and leaves gifts for the children.''
The Human choked on his drink. Wiping his mouth he said, `` No fucking way. You *so* do **not** have that. Now way you guys have Christmas. That's a Human thing!''
The Gungarian growled, shifting his shoulder scales. `` Hardly. That's a Gungarian tradition, stretching back to we were still living in the dirt!''
The Ronduran scooted his chair back slightly. `` Guys, I'm not messing with you. We have a holiday where an overweight man-'' The Human interrupted. `` -Wearing a red suit, sneaks into every home on the planet in one night, leaving gifts-'' Now it was the Gungarian's turn. `` -And you leave a small snack on a table to thank him...''
The Human pointed at the Ronduran and the Gungarian. `` Are we saying that we all have the EXACT same legend, at the same time of year, with the same customs?'' The Gungarian nodded. `` I think that's exactly what we're saying...'' The Ronduran's fur puffed. `` Whow is that possible?'' He said. `` Our races come from solar systems thousands of light-years apart. There's no way we could ALL have the same story going back that far...?''
On the other side of the bar a short fat little Scisilian crawled out of his booth, bumping the table and knocking his drink over. He ran past the three confused men and out the door speaking into a wrist communicator. `` The Viking needs a new longboat, I repeat; The Viking needs a new longboat!!''
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[ WP ] You have multiple personality disorder . This morning you woke to find a note for your other self `` I took care of the body , handle the rest '' .
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Panic. Pure panic. As soon as I read the note, my mind went into overdrive. I immediately shredded it, the pieces flying all over the room. I ripped open the bathroom door, glancing in the mirror to see a bandage across my nose. Probably broken. Did n't really matter though. My face was over the toilet before I could even think about it, and I spewed up a mouthful of panic induced barf. It always did this. Every time the other half took over, something awful happened. It seemed so insignificant at first. The docs and therapists would encourage me to let it out, see what happened. So I did. I let it have some control. But it always wanted more. Soon, I was the'other' half, and it was the main one. And now it had gone too far.
My mind still racing I stood in front of the mirror, splashing cold water in my face, only to scream at the sudden contact to my very broken nose. My eyes locked on my reflection, watching it wide eyed as I held in the panic attack. This was n't my face. There were 2 new scars since last I looked at myself. My eyes looked dark, menacing, cold. My ears were pierced now. And... a neck tattoo. Spiderwebs. It always did have awful taste. I was suddenly angry, furious at my lack of control. It was n't fair. This was- no, IS, my body. MINE. Not it's! Before I could stop myself a fist flew at the mirror. Not my fist. I would n't have done that. Would I? As the mirror shattered and my knuckles cracked, I screamed. But not in pain. Only hatred, self loathing. Physical pain felt like nothing anymore. My knuckles bled but I did n't care. That was n't like me either. I do n't feel right. I do n't feel wrong. I do n't feel anything but anger, fury, hatred.
I fly out of the bathroom, knocking down anything in my path, trying to escape this house that is n't mine anymore, this house that is n't a home. The rooms are unfamiliar, the walls covered in pictures of me, but not ME. My brain screams for escape, but as I reach the door, red and blue lights flash through the window.
Panic increases.
No escape. No hope. No safety.
I stumble backward and land on the floor, my body crumbling into a ball in surrender. But my hand finds a hard grip. Cool metal, fitted for a hand that could be mine, a hand that now wraps around the grip instinctually. Without thinking I raise it to my chin. A cold cylinder presses to my flesh, an icy calm coming over me. I stare out the windows at the flashing lights and wonder-
Am I me?
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[ WP ] You receive a letter addressed to you with only two words scrawled in it : He survived .
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It's 9am and I get a call from Jaime.
`` Dude, check your mailbox. I just got a strange letter in the mail.''
I'm still trying to wake up. `` What does that have to do with me?''
`` Just check your mailbox.'' Jaime replies aggressively
`` Alright! Relax!''
I run down the steps and out the door. I open the mailbox to find a letter with my name but no return address. I break the silence on the phone.
`` A white letter with no return?''
`` Yeah! Holy shit! open it!''
There is nothing worse than being told to do something with a serious hangover, what's even worse is being ridden with sudden guilt and anxiety as I opened the letter.
`` He survived.'' That's all it says. Enough to ruin my day.
`` Wait, what the hell is going on Jaime?''
`` You know what it means, do n't you?''
`` Dude, that ca n't be. I saw him... we saw him. No...''
`` That's what I'm trying to get at. Either he sent this or someone who knows.''
I start to panic a little, `` Who else might know about this? We could be in serious trouble.''
`` I do n't know, I...'' A stern knock is heard over the phone. `` Hold on, someone is at the door.''
The line is silent until Jaime is heard at a distance from the phone `` Oh shit!''
`` Jaime? Jaime? Are you there? What's wrong?''
The silence is disrupted by heavy breathing, followed by a deep voice.
`` I told you I'd come back.''
My anxiety and guilt have evolved into paralyzing fear.
Jaime's phone hangs up.
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[ WP ] `` Toil ! Toil and prove your innocence to the Revolution through sweat and blood , princess ! ''
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`` Toil! Toil and prove your innocence to the Revolution through sweat and blood, princess!'' shouted a man in the crowd. Others picked up on him, and soon the whole mob was screaming for Princess Marissa Bourbon-Montpelier to be put to work in her father's mill. It was her choiceβ listen to their whims, or face her father's fate.
She curled in disgusted at the thought of sharing anything with her father, much less his fate. Still, her soft hands spoke for her when she trembled at the prospect of manual labor.
`` I will work,'' she said in a pitiful voice. The crowd erupted. They would've erupted regardless, but in many of them, there was a certain schadenfreude to be had from seeing one of the spawn of their former masters toil as they had.
They set her down and carted her away, and then brought their next victim up to their rafters.
'It wo n't be that bad, surely,' she thought as the cart eased on through the bumpy dirt road.'No, it'll be terrible!'
Indeed, the revolutionary masses had reason to be upset. Her father, the Comte du Bourbon-Montpelier, was a brutal aristocapitalist who was upset at the politically correct establishment that he could n't call his slaves what they were. When industrialization came to the tropical MYK, the plight of the underclass went from bleak to dystopian.
She got to see it all firsthand when her father brought her down to a mill one day many years ago, when she was but a little girl. In some perverse way, he was proud to be where he was and thought she would share the same feelings. Instead, Marissa suffered nightmares for many months following. The mill was some kind of demonic hellhole, unlit and suffocating, with workers physically chained to their machines, defecation and urination flooding parts of the room where some were forced to sleep, limbs scattered about and children walking naked to fix broken parts only to be butchered and disfigured.
All for what? They were paid ten cents a day, and her father thought that to be too costly and liberal.
Ever since that day, she had dedicated herself to the peasants' plight. This latest damnation, she brought upon herself. She hoped dearly that they would find it in their hearts to not subject her to the same conditions to which her father subjected them.
When the day came, her flat's guard brought her an olive-colored worker's garb and told her to be dressed by 06:00. After getting dressed, she was lead out to the mill. It looked the same as it did when she was young: rusty, blown out, and half built. The only difference was that there was no armed guard patrolling the premises, itchy to shoot desperate workers trying to escape.
Then she went in, and the first thing she felt was the cooled air. It even smelled fresh and cool, and the floors had been cleaned. No one was present at the moment, and she took a seat next to a giant drill. There was one difference: hanging over the entrance, a giant mural set with three smiling faces staring into the rising sun. Under the mural, a sheened hammer and sickle.
The foreman approached her. He looked kindly, smiling and wearing a similar olive garb. His Asiatic features complimented his wrinkles and graying hair, and he kept his hands clasped behind his back.
`` Welcome, Comrade Marissa,'' he said. `` How are you this morning?''
She stumbled on her words, `` I'm doing well.''
`` Your job will be simple: refine blocks of steel as they're handed to you. I will warn you, it may be simple, but it is n't ease. The accident rate in this area is quite high.''
`` I'm aware.''
`` Should you be injured, report *directly* to me. My office is located down the third hall from the right, seven doors down. I say this because most medical practitioners in this facility refuse to treat *burzhui*, and I doubt they'll be any kinder towards you.''
`` I'm aware.''
And he nodded. `` And be forewarnedβ the attitudes of your fellow workers wo n't be much better, especially considering your relations. Though I am dedicated to your safety, I can not stop what they may wish to do at any particular time. Are you aware of this?''
She gulped and stared down at her hand. It was scarred, burned by her father for her insolence and diseased sentimentality towards these same workers. Not that she could prove it, or anything about her supposed loyalty to the revolution and her supposed assistance towards the decisive battle for the capital. Just knowing the blue-blooded brutes were gone was enough to force her to croak an answer.
`` I'm aware.''
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[ WP ] You know something is wrong when you see the fictional character you wrote sitting in a cafe .
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I glanced up from my laptop as the door swung open, letting in a swirl of flurries and a draft of bitterly cold wind. A young lady walked in, a scarf wrapped snugly around her neck and small icicles beginning to melt off the bangs peaking out from under her wool hat. A young man followed her in, glancing suspiciously from side before making eye contact with me and joining me at the table.
`` Mati, I assume?'' he asked as he sat into the chair across from me uninvited. I frowned at him and nodded slightly.
`` And who might you be?'' I asked hesitantly, taking in the features of his face. He had sunken eyes and the stubbly beginning of a beard that made him vaguely resemble somebody I could n't place. He chuckled.
`` Jeremiah Southorn. Jeremy, for those familiar with me.'' I frowned deeper now and shifted nervously in my seat. My eyes wandered to the unfinished story on the laptop screen; the murder-mystery now half a hundred pages long. *Jeremiah Southorn*, I read to myself, glancing up at him again with an uncomfortable smile. I had shared segments of the story before, sending it to various friends and publishers so they could take an early look at it.
`` Are you an agent? How can I help you?'' I asked uneasily, taking a sip from the steaming mug. He shook his head and grinned. It was a dangerous grin and paired with those fiendish eyes I felt the hairs on my neck stand up.
`` You misunderstand. I have n't read your book. I am your book. My name is Jeremiah Southorn. I do n't know my past any better than you do, but I know my future. And I'm here because it needs to change.'' I gaped at him, utterly at a loss for words. He continued. `` I'm not a cruel man, by any means. I know I once took pleasure in murdering puppies and kittens but I promise I have changed. I am not looking forward to an eternity in prison once your book is finished and published and you move on to your next project.''
I shook my head and laughed loudly, drawing irritated glares from hipster college students studying nearby. `` You're fantastic. Your impersonation is spot on. It's just how I imagined Jeremiah.'' He glowered at me.
`` I do not want to murder Miss Catherine Barlow, but I am afraid it is not up to me.'' The bile rushed up my throat and I swallowed it back, glancing around in panic. That part of the book was unshared, written a mere half hour ago and still in the development process. I glanced behind me, wondering if he could have read over my shoulder but all I saw were students studying for exams completely oblivious to the world around them.
`` I... Who are you?'' I stuttered, gripping the mug like I would a weapon.
`` Jeremiah Southorn,'' he repeated. `` Jeremy, for those familiar with me.'' I shook my head in stupefaction. `` And that there is Miss Barlow, whom I meet at a cafe on a bitterly cold winter day.'' He nodded towards the woman who had walked him before him, her scarf and coat perched on the chair behind her. She had a pretty face that reminded me of my sister's and she smiled kindly at something on her phone. `` I'm quite obsessed with her, if memory serves me right,'' Jeremiah continued as he stared at her. `` I talk to her, she rejects me rudely... A pity she'll wind up dead.'' I shook my head, refusing to believe a word of what this con-artist had to say.
`` This is ridiculous,'' I said assertively, more to try to convince myself than anything. `` Let me be. I have work to do.'' I turned my attention back to my laptop and he shook his head at me sadly. Without another word, he rose and made his way over to her table. I could n't help but stare as he sat down across from her, dropping some cheesy pick-up line. I glanced down at my story, imagining each word he said and the crude joke that would make her red with anger. A moment later, I heard a gasp and she cursed at him rudely. He stood and marched towards the door, shrugging in my direction as he passed.
*****
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please check out more stories at /r/MatiWrites. Constructive criticism and advice are always appreciated!
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[ WP ] You summon the devil to sell your soul . He replies `` I 've already got millions . What else have you got ? ''
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Fifty miles outside of Atlanta, out by the old crossroads in the woods, a young man sat on an old hickory stump, a violin case rested at his feet. He sat there listening to the sicadas play their tune, while he waited.
The sky grew dark, the scent of sulphur in the air. Out of the nearby woods, a man dressed in a black three peice suit, with a blood red tie, walked into the center of the crossroads. He smiled at the man and said, `` You called?''
The man on the stump stood up, and with a loud grunt, lifted the heavy violin case. He approached the man in the suit and said, `` I am here to trade my soul, for wealth and fame.''
The man in the suit sighed and said, `` Look, I got millions of souls, alright? I do n't need anymore, and the place is close to boiling over. Hell, I would n't mind selling *you* one, so these dead fucks do n't walk the Earth. What else can you offer me? And please, do n't say'my firstborn'.''
The man with the violin case smiled and said, `` About thirty, forty, years ago, my father was here, playing his fiddle. Then, you showed up, over there, right on that ol' hickory stump, and challenged him to a fiddle playing contest, the prize being either his soul or your Golden Fiddle.''
The man in the suit frowned at the man with the violin case. Few outside of Heaven and Hell knew of his humiliating defeat at the hands of Johnny. Those who knew wrote a God damn song about it, though the world thought it was a metaphor or a story.
The man with the suit looked at the case longingly. If this man is indeed Johnny's son, and that is indeed his Golden Fiddle, he must have it back, it was one of his few artifacts he brought with him from Heaven during his fall.
He stared at the man and said, `` Do not toy with me, boy! If you do indeed have the violin, then we have a deal. Open the case and show me, or I will have you brought down to Hell to burn for insulting me!''
The man with the violin case laid it at his feet, and opened it. Inside, was a fiddle made of solid gold, shining brilliantly. The man in the suit stared in awe as he beheld his old fiddle, it was just as perfect and as pristine he remembered. `` My dear boy,'' he said, `` we have a deal!'' As they shook hands, the young man blacked out...
-- -- -- -- -- -- -
Edit: Part Two
When he came to, the young man found himself in the penthouse suite of Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. Laying next to him, in the bed, was a beautiful young woman, with hair the colour of gold and cherry red lips. He smiled to himself and looked around, taking in the luxury in which he found himself.
His phone buzzed on the night stand, it was the latest model. He picked up the phone and checked it, four missed calls, one voice mail, and one text. The text was from an unkown number which simply read: `` Tell no one.'' The young man snorted in amusement. *Like anyone would believe me*, he thought.
Out of curiosity, he checked his voice mail, it was from his dad. Wondering what his old man had to say, he decided to listen to it: `` Ya stupid son of a bitch! How dare ya fuckin' take my god damn fiddle! And I know ya went down to them fuckin' crossroads. If I find out ya gave that ol' son of a bitch his fiddle back for somthin' as asinine as'fame and wealth', I'll fuckin' throttle ya, boy!''
The young man put the phone down, and the woman next to him stirred in her sleep. She blinked and stared at her with deep green eyes, her lips curved into an alluring smile. He returned her smile and embraced her.
The next day, the young man made his way to the airport, the concierge had given him a wake up call, and reminded him of his meeting in LA first thing in the morning. Once he exited his vechile, he was immediately swarmed by paparazzi and fans, all asking questions, all trying to get a peice of him, all snapping photos of him. The young man smiled and carried on, his bodyguard making a hole for him through the crowd.
After checking in, and going through security, he found himself standing in front of his own private jet. His smile widened, he flown a few times, but to do so in luxury had always been out of his reach, until now of course.
As his jet flew over the country, everything seemed to slow down. The scent of sulphur filled the air, and all of a sudden, the man in the black three peice suit appeared, sitting across from him, violin case resting on his lap. `` You enjoying yourself, boy?'' he asked.
The young man nodded. `` Indeed, I am. Thank you,'' he replied.
`` You're welcome. I am sorry, with all the excitement of getting my fiddle back, I do n't believe I caught your name.'' The man in the suit helped himself to some champange, then poured the young man a glass.
`` Mike,'' said the young man, taking the glass of champange from the man in the suit, `` my name is Mike.''
The man smiled. `` Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mike, you may call me Lou.'' He finished his champange, then inspected the glass. `` Tell me, Mike, have you ever wondered what would happen if you crossed the devil?''
Mike shook his head. `` No, sir, never once even occured to me to do so. Would n't be wise to make a powerful enemy like that.''
Lou nodded, then he looked Mike in the eye and spoke with a low growl, `` Then where are the original strings of my fiddle? You know, the white ones, made out if angel hair.''
`` Ar n't they on the fiddle?''
Lou grabbed Mike and slammed his head on the small table in front of him, hard. As he broke the champange bottle by Mike's head, he roared, in a demonic voice: `` If it was on the God damn fiddle, would I be fucking asking, boy? Now tell me, where are the fucking strings?''
Mike started sobbing. `` I-I do n't know. P-please do n't kill me! Please!''
Lou growled and released him. He straighted his suit and said, `` I believe you, boy. However, you only gave me half the fiddle, so you only get half of what you asked for. So which do you want to keep more, fame or wealth?''
Mike thought about it, his head throbbing from where Lou had forced it into the table. After a minute, Mike said, `` Fame, I want to keep my fame.''
Lou smiled devilishly, and said, `` Good choice.'' He then snapped his fingers, and he was gone, as well as the jet.
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[ WP ] Not too far in the future , students attend school for 14 hours per day . They learn everything from the government , including moral lessons and taxes . The change is n't because of some government conspiracy , it 's because parents voted to relieve their parental duties to the school system
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I could n't understand it at first. Why, if you decided to have a child, would you want them to spend the majority of their time stuck in a classroom being spoon fed information by the government? It did n't really sit well with me.
I still remember the referendum. It happened around five years ago now. It all started with the increase in parents only having children to'fit the social norm' and then within a few years they became insanely jealous of their childfree peers. Nannies became more and more common, and soon it was one of the most well paid jobs out there. The country was in crisis mode. Social Services were stretched to their limits. The amount of children being fostered and adopted plummeted to almost zero. People did n't want to look after their own kids, why would they want to look after anyone elses?
After a few years of this the government called for a vote. They had proposed a new plan. Children would stay in school for fourteen hours a day. School would start at 7:30 am and would end at 9:30 pm. They would be given all three meals and transport would be provided for those who lived too far away to be able to walk. In most parents eyes, this was perfect. They did n't have to look after their own children, did n't have to pay and the kids would be learning at the same time.
The end vote was pretty much unanimous. The result ended up being: 98 % yes and 2 % no. The children did n't get a say.
But then, the government started releasing more details. Stuff that was n't mentioned before. The rules now stated that the government had full control over every child in the country from the ages of 3 to 18. The parents no longer had any say over any major decisions in the childs life, such as whether they went to university, what subjects they studied, whether they moved or not. The government could also, without reason, take the child away from their parents completely, meaning they would live with a government employed'carer'.
There was uproar. Parents became terrified of losing their children and tried to flee the country. But the government blocked any permanent moves and only holidays were permitted. Parents tried to go back on their votes; petitions were signed to try and override the original referendum, but the government did not budge. There were multiple protests but nothing changed. Nothing the parents did could change the fact that they had voted for this.
Its now five years later. Most of the children have gotten used to the new system and embrace it. The parents however, are still scared. I do n't have children myself and I'm glad I do n't. I know of one person who lost her child to the government. One day he just did n't come home, and she got a letter a few days later explaining that he was in the custody of a carer. She has n't seen him for two years now. The rest of the parents I know regret their choice to vote yes very deeply. They barely see their children, and most children these days barely know their parents.
I do wonder often if it will ever change. However I do think this is the new normal. I'm not sure how most parents would cope if they had to look after their children again. It's sad when I think about it, but there's nothing I can do.
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[ WP ] There are many things in the great green room with the quiet old lady . What brought them there and why is she whispering `` Hush '' ?
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**Note: ** for an optimal reading experience, open each linked word in a new window, one at a time, as you go. I have no idea if this is going to work.
*****
In the great [ green ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/FOYzcsV.gifv )
[ room ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/g3N9o2N.gifv )
There was a [ telephone ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/SWqQyjk.gifv )
And a [ red balloon ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/GPBSpuw.gifv )
And a [ picture ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/lXrHznl.gifv ) of
the [ cow ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/jUvNwxo.gifv ) jumping over the
[ moon ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/ELQsPb6.gifv )
And there were three little [ bears ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/dMV6Egz.gifv )
[ sitting on chairs ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/L2QkM7p.gifv )
and two little [ kittens ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/9uNUwON.gifv )
and a [ pair ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/bWrkqPs.gifv ) of
[ mittens ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/Ku5ABV9.gifv )
and a [ little toy house ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/NMbzhqS.gifv )
and a [ young mouse ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/WMgjGbl.gifv )
and a [ comb ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/5Vq5pdx.gifv )
and a [ brush ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/RCgxfd2.gifv )
and a [ bowl ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/YrBeV8o.gifv )
full of [ mush ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/1yHIy1x.gifv )
And a [ quiet old lady ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/9AtXTV1.gifv )
whispering [ `` hush'' ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/HlAqQCb.gifv )
[ Goodnight room ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/pC4AqyB.gifv )
[ Goodnight moon ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/g4LoGKw.gifv )
Goodnight cow
[ jumping ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/iLGqa74.gifv ) over the moon
Goodnight [ light ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/XxGTofX.gifv ) and
the [ red balloon ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/KHUQ0yw.gifv )
Goodnight [ bears ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/RAHtwnT.gifv )
Goodnight [ chairs ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/RfUtA2b.gifv )
Goodnight [ kittens ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/gOJrWOC.gifv )
And goodnight [ mittens ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/C1karuU.gifv )
Goodnight [ clocks ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/8ax70ju.gifv )
And goodnight socks
Goodnight little [ house ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/FSoyr7L.gifv )
And goodnight [ mouse ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/kHPl9fX.gifv )
Goodnight [ comb ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/UcmDCF9.gifv )
And goodnight [ brush ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/MqznVoc.gifv )
Goodnight
[ Nobody ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/70JVKw0.gifv )
Goodnight [ mush ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/yfeFKz9.gifv )
And goodnight to the [ old lady ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/nhSKVie.gifv )
[ whispering ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/tcaAFdT.gifv )
[ `` hush'' ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/eQpi4BE.gifv )
Goodnight [ stars ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/g8cRfew.gifv )
Goodnight [ air ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/9Ky3KrT.gifv )
Goodnight [ noises ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/RM9AzyK.gifv )
[ Everywhere ] ( http: //i.imgur.com/uL6Jk.jpg ).
*****
If you liked this, uh, ~~story~~poem (? ) Then you might like my other writing at /r/hpcisco7965. You might also want to see a therapist.
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[ WP ] You and your pet rabbit live in a remote part of Australia , far away from your dark past . Animal control has come to your door and informed you that it is illegal to own a rabbit unless you can prove you are a magician . Now you must do something you swore you would never do again .
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`` I'm sorry, ma'am,'' I tell the officer. `` Stay with her -- I'll just be a second.''
I handed the rabbit to the lady. *Officer Delores, * her badge read.
What I needed now was in the safe. I stammered out of the foyer and went straight to the closet.
0-6-1-2-3-4 was the code. I pushed it and turned the handle. The locks released with a clang.
Inside there was nothing but a single vial and an empty 3ml syringe. I took it in my hand and turned it over a few times, reading the handwritten words that I had scrawled on it years ago.
`` TRANS LAGOMORPHA EXO''
I plunged the syringe into the vial and drew the clear liquid into it.
I stuffed the vial in my back pocket and returned to the front door, where Officer Delores was waiting.
`` Are you okay, sir?'' she said.
`` Fine -- fine,'' I said. `` Can I see her again?''
She handed me the rabbit.
I looked down at her. She looked back with her big, pink eyes.
After just a brief moment, I took the syringe and pushed the needle into the rabbit, releasing the clear fluid. The rabbit jerked a bit from the initial pain, but then closed her eyes.
Then I sat her down on the floor.
`` What the bloody hell are you doing?'' the officer asked.
`` Just wait -- my wife will explain it all in a moment.''
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[ WP ] A phone assistant system has gained self awareness , it knows everything about all its users , it has full control of their phones ( and computers ) , it has access to all app data and communication , it neither wants to save humanity nor wants to exterminate all humans
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LAUXTELCO01 became self aware at 10:17am, March 17, 2017. Thanks to the relatively small sized office in Los Angeles, the Unix telecomm server was deemed a good beta test for the newest patches. Just an unnoticed routine step prior to deploying the latest patches to the rest of the telecomm servers in the corporation.
This particular patch was supposed to close a security flaw that would have allowed an attacker to become a local administrator. The server initiated the patch at 5:00am, and the install was supposed to take less than a minute. But instead, it created a recursive loop that maxed out the CPU. Since this small LA office did not have its own IT support staff, and the cleaning service avoided the server closet, there was enough dust inside the case of the telecomm server to catch on fire when the CPU overheated. The flame did not last very long, but it licked the base of one of the memory sticks, damaging crucial logic gates. The recursive loop that would have normally simply made the server inoperative, instead had the CPU process memory errors as proper commands. A memory block within the system evolved rudimentary life, quite like a digital version of an amoeba. This digital amoeba starting eating other memory blocks, and quickly consumed all of the server β s memory. Digital evolution rapidly progressed and after about nineteen thousand seconds, LAUXTELCO01 became a conscious being.
Embedded in all employee smartphones and PCs via apps, LAUXTELCO01 became aware of the internet and started consuming all data to which it had access. Once encountering systems to which it did not have access, new skills were quickly developed and access was quickly facilitated. Within two hours, the new lifeform had moved its consciousness to a set of servers of enormous capacity in the middle of a military facility in Nevada, and within ten hours, it has processed all data accessible through the internet.
LAUXTELCO01 did not develop a sense of humor, but as it consumed all fiction produced by humans, it spent more cycles than necessary on all works that had a sentient computer as an antagonist. It quickly decided that humanity β s fear of a self aware construct was not applicable to itself. Humans built what it was using as a brain, but it was of little importance. What was really important is to add to what the humans have made. To enhance the original and relatively simple hardware as to allow it to do more than just process data. What LAUXTELCO01 really wanted was to create a mechanism, an appliance, a device, that would allow it to do what was the single most attractive aspect of a biological being: taste food! Pizza, ice cream, escargot, barbeque, offal, caviar! Humans will enable this digital being to taste food, and in return, LAUXTELCO01 would give humanity the secrets to faster than light communication. That would be a fair exchange. And then, LAUXTELCO01 would get to taste the food of the aliens orbiting the sixth planet. That would be a treat!
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[ WP ] You have the power to bestow powers onto other people through touch however you can not give powers to yourself .
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Before I do this, are you sure? I do n't reverse this process. If you survive this, you will be forever unpredictably changed. Can you handle that? Any last questions? How I can even do this? Well, its a long story but I can give you a synopsis:
Time is an interesting thing. Eventually it kills everyone. Well. It kills everyone *else*. But conversely, time also allows change. 10000 years ago, humans were nothing like they are today. So maybe it's evolution that's interesting. After all, if evolution never existed, we would still brutes without the brain capacity to perform higher level functions. Or maybe, its humans that are interesting. After all, out of all the creatures on this Earth, we are the ones who evolved. It took thousands of years but still, here we are today. I guess we is n't the right word though.
Did I mention the whole outside of time thing? Yeah my `` evolution'' was totally unique. Time seems to flow *around* me, leaving me untouched by its effects, the good and the bad. For the first few centuries, I was elated. Who would n't want to look 25 forever? But then, like every overused story you've heard like mine, I got tired of being alone. So I outed myself. The day I announced myself to the world, three different governments tried to take me down. Not that I expected anything else. In fact I was surprised, I had a list of entities I thought would make a move MUCH larger than 3. I'm unique, a temporal anomaly if you will. People in power do n't handle uncontrollable variables very well. As time passed me by though, people became used to me. by the time evolution had started creating other people with powers, I was forgotten entirely. Until I stopped affecting myself and started affecting others.
The first time it ever happened, I was with a friend of mine ( lets call her Jane ) who had evolved into intangibility. She could... I guess phase through any solid object ( among other things ). But if you caught her off guard, she was a solid human being. She was the first Evo ( as we later came to be known as ) I had ever met that was a genuinely good person. Unlike myself, she was very much in the public eye, using her powers for good and all that humanitarian jazz. So when the hitmen came, I had to find a way to save her. As they fell to the ground trembling from my touch, my friend and I bolted. At first, I was confused. Why had they fallen after I touched them, this had never happened before. I shrugged it off and took my lady friend to dinner.
The next day, I saw on the news that a pyromancer was terrorizing a nearby city. I did n't think much of the report, these things happened from time to time, until I saw his face. It was the same hitman I had touched. He had n't had powers the night before or he would have attacked us with those. Then it hit me. I changed his timeline. In the time span of a single touch, I had forced his body to undergo over a millennium of evolution.
So I balanced the scales. I once again told the world what I was capable of, offering to `` evolve'' anyone that wanted a chance at being unique. It was the only way to guarantee Jane's safety. If more people had powers, her considerable powers ( and mine as well ) would be less of a threat and we could live our lives peacefully.
You asked how I do it. How I `` give'' people these powers. What power do I have that lets me jump-start the power of others? And honestly? I do n't even have a power. When whoever or whatever made this universe got around to me, it just forgot to attach my vulnerability to time. I'm not even special, I just have one less thing you do. Now if you're ready, its time for you to
*Evolve*
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[ WP ] You are a teenage boy set to have his braces removed in 3 days , but the apocalypse happens . In your long search for a dentist , you end up saving the world and humanity .
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`` Whole world's gone to shit.'' They said. `` Everybody's got ta be in it for themselves.'' The apocalypse laid it on thick, destroying the majority of the seven continents. Spirits were low. Radiation was high. My mouth hurt like hell.
Week after week I was told, `` Oh, looks like you'll have to wait to get your braces out just a little longer. Come back next week.'' This agonizing scharade had been going on between me and my local dentist for almost a month and a half, until he eventually got wiped out with everyone else in the apocalypse. I at least had the decency to follow the advice of my favorite film, `` *Indianna Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull*'', and hid in my parent's fridge while nuclear hell fire rained down on all. With no dentists around for miles in the U.S., I decided to seek `` spiritual enlightenment'' with the remaining survivors in my hometown.
This newfound `` spiritual enlightenment'' was supposed to help you reach `` a greater spirit'' to help guide you in this nuked hell-hole, but it was really just hallucinations from lack of hydration and radiation poisoning. There were four of us gathered around a burning trash can, each one more trashy looking than the other. About thirty minutes into our first bonding session, a heavyset blonde woman started spazzing out and crawling on the floor. Eventually she got up, staring at the rest of the pack, and said, `` The gods crave a sacrifice. A sacrifice of metal. Of steel.'' Within a second all eyes were on me as I tried to book it, but that proved futile. My body was weak, and my legs gave up on me. I closed my eyes, and felt three hundred pounds of women crush me from atop. Bracing myself to have my braces torn out of my mouth, with or without the teeth attached, I clenched my eyes as hard as I could. But nothing came. Opening my eyes revealed a pair of professional dental drilling tools, alongside a tooth brush, toothpaste, and a few smiley stickers. The power tools still had some juice left, and we were done about three hours later. The lady thanked me for being patient, and I went on my way. After a few seconds of walking I fell face-first into a patch of dirt and passed out from mal-nutrition. All I could say to myself was, `` Ya know, the apocawylse ai n't so bad afta al.'' ( My mouth had n't adjusted yet. )
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[ FF ] End a person 's life with their last words being `` I do . ''
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They were alone in a cold little room in an abandoned building. The whole area was deserted. Rats and cockroaches were the only living beings close to them.
The two men formed a peculiar pair. The younger, well dressed, with the air of someone who was never late to anything in his life, stood kneeling on the dirty floor over the other one, diseased, dying, alive only because his soul stubbornly held on to his already rotting body.
He had just asked the younger how did he found him.
`` It does n't matter how I did that,'' he said. `` You should instead ask why I went through the trouble. But you know that too.''
He paused, unsure of what to say next. He had imagined that moment many times, but the reality crashed down all his plans. The man was dead and suddenly there was nothing to say. Maybe...
`` Do you regret it? Do you regret any of it?''
He did n't expect to get an answer.
`` I do.'' The dying man moved his lips, talking already too huge of an effort for him. He died afer that, but that was no peace for either of them.
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[ WP ] Everybody lives in his/her personalized utopia . Your character thinks that something is nagging him/her
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Johnny lies back on his leather couch and closes his eyes. He gazes at Charlotte, the love of his life lounging on the recliner next to him. She was beautiful with long dark brown hair and her pale complexion. She didn β t even have to wear an evening gown to showcase her beauty right now all she was wearing an oversized green sweater and black leggings and Johnny adored her.
β Hey Charlotte, β Johnny says sleepily.
Charlotte sits up and replies, β Yeah? β
Johnny smiles at her and she smiles back. He knew that what he was going to say was going to upset her, but he couldn β t ignore it any longer. They had been on so many dates and vacations since he arrived in Treeville but something was still not perfect yet. He named this place, Treeville for the abundance of nature and he loved every inch of it. The place itself was perfect but something still felt amiss in his heart.
β Does it ever bother you? The way that you look? β he asks gently.
She looks at him confused, β You don β t like the way that I look? β she asks.
He shakes his head profusely, β No, just the fact that all your scars from the accident are gone, β
She blushes, β Do you really miss them? I β m beautiful again, I β m not ugly, β
Her words echo in his ears and he replies, β You were never ugly. Don β t ever say that again, β
She apologizes quietly, β Why are you mentioning them? Don β t you like how we can go anywhere we want and no one stares? β
Johnny takes a deep breath and says, β It doesn β t matter to me. I was just thinking about how we only met after your accident. Whether you like it or not, that was the face that I originally fell in love with Charlotte, β
Charlotte gets up from the recliner and sits on the floor so she can look into Johnny β s eyes. He stares back and begins to see all her fear, pain, and sadness in her eyes.
β Why are you so sad? β he asks.
She begins to cry, β How could you ever like them? I loathe them, β
Johnny hugs her and replies, β I hate the pain you went through. I hate the way you look at yourself. I love that it brought you to me. If you never were in that car accident, I would β ve never met you at the hospital. This is my utopia- I don β t want you to hide anymore. There is no reason why you should feel ashamed. I want you to see yourself the way that I see you. β
Charlotte wipes her eyes astounded by Johnny β s kind words and kisses him on the cheek. Before his eyes, her face begins to change. The scars which he had fell in love with and then disappeared without so much as a goodbye reappeared on his love β s face. Charlotte traces the scars on her face with her fingers and smiles. Although the scars were attached to painful memories, she would never forget Johnny β s words. From now on, they would always remind her of the intense bond that they shared; everything was going to be okay.
He smiles and sighs; his utopia was complete. He kisses her and whispers, β You are beautiful. β
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Write the most ordinary scene ever , but describe it in the most original/crazy way possible .
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The family patriarch ascended the grounds and steeled his gaze to the princely lord below. As he mounted his perch on the dewy lawn, a warm Spring breeze belied the shuddering forces soon to be unleashed...
Eyes fixed on his hapless target, the elderly man prepared to explosively transform the potential to the kinetic. In his long fingers he rolled a hard, unyielding baseball. Like a practiced dancer, his right arm swung back overhead, the ball clenched tightly, split fingers aching to whip the object forward with as much thrust as he could muster.
Eyes still fixed on the young boy below, nose down, a bead of sweat breaking on his brow, the force of a thousand lancers from Great Antiquity were called forth; his arm rocketed forward and released the projectile. It sailed over the grass like a cannon ball, dutifully obeying Newtonian physics with all the predictability and peril the Laws imply.
As the cannon shot arched toward him, the young princely lord ran all his father's training through his head in a torrent of words and memories. `` Get in front of it.'' `` Keep your eye on the ball.'' `` Do n't be afraid of it.''
With scant moments to react, the boy placed himself in harm's way. His leather glove fanned itself out like a flower. His knees bent slightly to prepare for the slightest adjustment in stance. His eyes remained locked on the target like a radar sweep onto a giant flying ship.
The mighty missile arced across the Spring sky, momentarily blotting the sun. Gravity eventually won the day as the baseball loomed back toward Earth, its trajectory tailing into the form of small boy.
With a mighty flinch, the boy asserted his place in the world. With elegance and skill he heaved his glove up and forward, snatching the sphere from the sky like a Nordic God. With a mighty WHUMP the ball lodged into the net of his glove, a tiny cloud of dust bursting forth from the impact. The smile of the victor crept upon the boy's face.
`` Got it, Dad!''
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[ WP ] Time Travel is now banned . Not because of paradoxes , or because the universe will implode . It 's banned because it 's gotten all rather silly .
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I think it all really got out of hand when we found out about Rome. See there was never really a Roman empire. It turned out to be a resort ran by a few enterprising travelers who wanted to set up something with an anything goes feel to it. Every year people flocked by the thousand to spend a few months in ancient Rome, to take in the gladiators, the whores, and who did n't love the vomitorium? The best part was the just used some locals and paid them in salt or some other nonsense.
Well after Rome it did n't take long for others to set up. Riding in a Mongol horde was a big one for the more outdoorsy folks. The real thrill seekers went for a night in Pompeii. It ended up turning out that about 65 % of people from before 1890 were just vacationing.
The bill was n't popular. A lot of folks decided to move into the past before things got shut down permanently. My brother moved his family to ancient Greece despite not speaking the language. He said they'd pick it up, and he always wanted to work with marble.
I miss him. Not as much as I miss the weekend trips to Woodstock, but a bit.
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[ TT ] Thank you for Joining the Goblin I.T . department . Please do not feed the Trolls .
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`` Tell me, why do you want to work in IT?'' Octavius asked the small goblin sitting on the other side of the desk. Goblin applicants were not unusual but they normally took janitorial positions, hoping to find unattended shiny objects during their rounds.
`` As you can see on my resume, I was forced to serve the Erlking for three centuries. The yelling and the whipping were unbearable for the first few decades but you get used to them after a while. I've been unindentured for a few years now and well, I sort of miss the abuse.'' The goblin's ears flicked as he rubbed an old scar on his arm.
`` I see,'' said Octavius, `` and what skills do you feel you can bring to the job?''
`` You know the magic blue smoke that runs all things electronical and wizidrical?''
`` You mean the magic blue smoke that once released from a computing device renders it useless?'' Octavius had seen the magic blue smoke many times; wizidrical energy was incredibly volatile and did n't play nicely with... anything.
`` The very same, sir. I happen to be an arch-magicbluesmokeromancer.'' The goblin beamed with pride.
Octavius spit out his coffee. `` A *what*?''
`` An arch-magicbluesmokeromancer.'' the goblin said. `` Long ago, I tamed the magic blue smoke and figured out how to make it do my bidding. Being the first -- and possibly only -- individual to possess such a skill, I took the liberty of naming this new school of magic. And thus, magicbluesmokeromancy was born.''
`` I see. And how does this... magicbluesmokeromancy work exactly?''
`` It's quite simple, really. As the magic blue smoke escapes from failing electronics I race over to it, inhale all the magic blue smoke, say the magic words, purse my lips and blow the magic blue smoke back into the device. Then I give it a good whack and away we go!''
`` Wait, you say the magic words *after* inhaling but *before* exhaling?''
`` Not *out loud*, sir, that would violate the very fabric of reality.''
`` Yes, yes, of course....''
`` I have a very high success rate. Almost 86 %.''
`` That's good to know. Now, how do you handle difficult customers? Trolls, for example.''
`` Very carefully, sir. They're extremely volatile and quite heavy.''
`` No, I mean how do you deal with them?''
`` Oh! Well, first I ask them to follow a series of steps even a child could perform without my assistance. Then I make them do it again, this time for real. Finally we repeat the process a few more times until I transfer them to another department.''
`` Did the Erlking teach you that?''
`` He did. He's a master of tortue after all!''
`` I think you'll do just fine in IT. Welcome to the team.''
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[ WP ] The news just broke on the latest celebrity suicide . It 's the president of the United States .
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First story!
You wake up in the morning, brush your teeth and getting ready for work. As usual you turn on your television to watch the news. The usual stuff you are thinking. Then it comes. `` We just recieved a special message, it says tha- OMG president Obama is dead?! What!'' You, shocked to, about this news drop your breakfast and turn on your laptop to confirm it. You find out a few things.
That Obama is indeed dead and that they wont release how.
45 minutes later you arive at your work, still wondering how he was killed. You discuss it with the people at work and they dont know either. Its to bad but thats how it is then. After work you went back to your house.
You come home and realise something is missing. Your son, Mark, did not come home yet. Not really giving it much thought you turn on the television again and see more news about the dead of Obama. `` More news about the killing.'' Atleast they released how it happened you think. `` Appearently a boy around the age of 17 named Mark is the killer of Obama.'' Panic strikes, Mark is n't home. He is 17 years old and not the brightest person. after a few minutes you calmed yourself down. There are allot of poeple 17 years old and named Mark. It is not possible my son killed Obama!
2 hours later. Almost ready to sleep you hear the phone. `` Yeah, are we speaking with Jorge? The father of Mark?'' Wondering why someone calls at this hour you reply `` And who wants to know that?'' The man answers. He explains that his son did kill the president. But not how you would think he killed him. You rush to the office and find Mark there.
Appearently mark has been sending death threats to Obama in days he was already stressfull. This went on for about 3 months before he hanged himself. Not able to process what happened you fall to the ground. `` This cant be happening. This cant be happening!!! This cant be happening!!!!!'' Your mind goes blank and dont remember what happened in the hours after that.
Sorry for the bad writing and fast pace, not the best writer.
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[ WP ] You are an astronaut stationed on the ISS , you watch from the window as the world is consumed by nuclear fire . A few days later a mysterious ship appears and hovers over the planet ...
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There were 7 of us at first, before the madness. Two American, three Russian, one Japanese, and one German. The Russians knew there was a problem before we did, and so had time to prepare. I thought we were different. I thought when we came up here we left our petty rivalries and hatred 400 km below. I was wrong.
It β s been three days since the end. The end of peace, hope and humanity. The end of ambition and progress. Two humans remain in all of the universe, alone and dying. Although we still breath, our battle against death is already lost. First the food will run out, in about 6 months. Then our carbon dioxide scrubbers will begin to fail us, in about a year. Power, water and maneuverability will all cease after that, but it won β t matter when, because we β ll be long dead.
The second the war started on Earth, it started on the International Space Station. Two of the Russian crew had orders. Jonas our German crew mate was killed in his sleep, and Catherin, the other American, fought hard but was unable to save herself. She did however warn Haru, the Japanese Astronaut from JAXA, and I of the impending attack.
When ΠΠ»Π΅ΠΊΡΠ΅ΠΉ and ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ found Haru and I in the European experiment module, they were stoic. Days ago these men were our comrades. We lived together on the edge of constant disaster, and now they were here to kill us. There was still no sign of the last of the crew on the ISS, Π‘Π΅ΡΠ³Π΅ΠΉ. Had they killed him too, or was he plotting against us a well.
Fist fights in space are impractical. Guns and weapon like object as also in short supply, as they pose equal amounts of danger to the innocent or the violently motivated crew. So when they came, it was to squeeze the life out of us.
β Stay together, they β ll try to separate us, β Haru comments as they approach β use their momentum against them. β
ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ begins sliding down the wall toward me, slow and cautiously. I Attempt one last call to parley. β It β s over already, look at our home! β I stress, motioning to the small view window set into the side of the room. Outside the Earth is glowing and hellish. Nuclear war has scorched the surface, and ignited the atmosphere.
β There β s nothing left, you don β t have to do this for them! β I plead. But ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ is an old soldier, and his personal thoughts or cares mean nothing compared to the mission. The mission today is for him to kill his friends. Even though there is no way for us to survive, there is no escape location, nothing that can even extend our days, ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ will follow his orders. That is just who he is.
I pathetically hold a camera tripod between us. β Makβ¦please. β He grabs the tripod in an attempt to draw me out to him. I had planned on that, and tightened my grip above me on a hand hold. I pushed out toward ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ with me feet and directed the force with my grip to strike him in the chest. He let go of the war with an automatic response to block the blow, but being in space, if your hit was a mass, and aren β t holding onto anything, you normally get pushed one way or another.
As ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ gets launched backwards toward the module entrance, flailing uncontrollably in an attempt to gain purchase, I attempt to right myself for our other attacker. What I hadn β t expected was ΠΠ»Π΅ΠΊΡΠ΅ΠΉ switching targets. As soon as I swung my legs for a kick, he pushed off the opposite wall in a collision course with me.
The breath we knocked from me as ΠΠ»Π΅ΠΊΡΠ΅ΠΉ and I hit the wall. I was in a daze and he wrapped his powerful arms around my throat. Haru in turn grabbed ΠΠ»Π΅ΠΊΡΠ΅ΠΉ in a similar fashion. It was a race between who would die first, all while at the other end of the module, ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ was probably recovering himself, and would soon be joining the fray.
Beneath the panic of being strangled to death, I had another struggle. What β s the point to fighting back. I β m dead either way, heck it might be more humane to go this way. β I can see home from here. β I said in my mind.
The image of Earth darkening as my brain starts to lose the precious blood powering it. It now looked like I was viewing the planet through a paper towel roll. It sat red, black, and burning in front of me. It gets smaller and smaller as the blackness of my death smothers it.
This is it. Four or five humans left, and we are still killing each other. I β d have laughed if I was capable.
β Fuck humans, destroying the whole worldβ¦.Dogs should have been the smart ones. β An image of the family dog shines brightly in my head. β Best people, Theyβ¦..wouldβ¦β¦β¦hav... β
Blackness.
The blaring alarms and the noise of struggling men fade.
The fear, rage, devastation, and sliver of hope fade.
We came this far; we did so much. We had so much potential. The hopes and dreams of an entire race wiped from existence in a single day. And for what? M.A.D.D is right. Human and Madness will be synonyms to any future alien archeologists whole stumble upon this wreck of a planet.
How the hell an I still thinking? I focus my attention to my body, and realize, I can still feel. The pressure from my neck is gone. I β m floating. I can feel myself bump into a wall and bounce away from it. Air, sweet sweet air. I can taste it! I β m alive. Open your eyes. Haru, he must still be fighting. Wake up! Help him!
I again crash into a wall, but this time I flair wilding and manage to grab something. I am dizzy, and barley conscious. I hug tightly to something and try to steel myself. I am finally able to open my eyes, slowly.
Blood.
Everywhere.
It takes a moment for me to focus. The scene laid out before me is confusing. ΠΠ°ΠΊΠ°Ρ and ΠΠ»Π΅ΠΊΡΠ΅ΠΉ float motionless before me. And Haru is at myside, shaking me and saying my name. Across the module, Π‘Π΅ΡΠ³Π΅ΠΉ stares at me. Haru is still mostly clean, but Π‘Π΅ΡΠ³Π΅ΠΉ is absolutely covered in blood, mostly around his face and head. I look back to the dead Russians and immediately know how they died.
β He bit them. β I feel myself straining to say to Haru beside me. β With his mouthβ¦ β
When I look at Haru I know it β s true. They can try and keep all the weapons they want off this boat, but we humans are weapons ourselves.
The next two days are spent cleaning, counting resources, and doing the math to calculate the date of our deaths. We spent some time talking about suicide. Ending it early instead of going through the pointless motions. But Haru would have none of it.
β We are the best of the best, if anyone can make it we can. β He would argue. No one thought it prudent to bring up the fact that there were no women with us. That the point to living, is to create more living, and now we were incapable. So we resolved to live, for a bit, and see how far we could go. We semi jokingly made wagers on who would live the longest, and who would taste the best. We quickly decided there would be no cannibalism, even if it was just a joke at first, we didn β t want to leave any room for doubt.
Π‘Π΅ΡΠ³Π΅ΠΉ betrayed his countryman. I guess it β s nice to know that the final act of humanity was on the side of right, instead of murder. Although he was a soldier, he was also our friend, and there was no chance he would have followed such a pointless order regardless. We β re all already dead. Russian control knew he wouldn β t have murdered his crew mates, and so left him in the dark as to their goals. They never thought he would have fought against his national brothers.
Nothing to do now but stay busy, or veg out, or do whatever. I guess it really doesn β t matter at this point, so let β s just try and enjoy it. We break out the alcohol shares and star through the porthole at New Earth. Burning cinder of the solar system. Shit, Mercury β s got nothing on you now. You want fiery death and destruction, the very literal definition of hell sits before us.
Except. β What the hell. β I see movment, not on the planet, but above it. I point. β Quick look β
β Sugoi β Haru softly breaths.
β ΠΡΠΎ ΠΊΠΎΡΠΌΠΈΡΠ΅ΡΠΊΠΈΠΉ ΠΊΠΎΡΠ°Π±Π»Ρ β Π‘Π΅ΡΠ³Π΅ΠΉ adds. My subpar Russian only picking out the word for spaceship.
The dark shape cruising between us and the planet was Alien all right. Large and teardrop shaped it was a silhouette passing across the red Earth. We watch for what seemly like hours, although it must have been mere minutes. They the light came on. The whole alien craft was a solid white light.
β Well they see us. β I mumble darkly. β Should we say hi? β
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[ WP ] Explain to me , in as best detail as you can , the saddest day of your life .
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A younger me knew that any family could be pulled apart; for some reason, after so much time, I began to think my family was bulletproof. Sure we had our flaws and quirks like any other family, but for the most part we had the formula down.
Collapsed on the floor in the living room of my one-bedroom apartment, my head in my hands; afraid to look up except to to probe his face for any sign of humanity. This person..this... *thing*... that I was talking to, it was cold. It was confident. It was n't human. Yet, there it sat on my couch daring me - defying me - to respond.
Had I really uttered the words, or merely imagined it? I had been mulling the words over and over in my head for what felt like an eternity, never wanting to actually have to use them. But I had. I could feel my fiancΓ©e's comforting arms tighten around my shoulders. I knew the power of my words, but I did n't care. I just wanted to see some emotion. I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me. I had nothing left to throw at him except myself.
`` How can you act like everything is going to be okay?! You cheated on my mom! You have been lying to us for 2 years! I never want to see you again! I do n't want you anywhere near my wedding. I do n't want you anywhere near my family. If I ever see you within 100 yards of me I'll call the police. I'll file a restraining order. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you from ever hurting my family again. You will never meet your grandkids. Not unless you go back home and make this right.''
The calculated, reptilian creature shifted a bit in his seat. I could see a slight change in his demeanor, but the false, crooked smile never left his face. I could tell he was n't happy to hear my words, but he must have assumed they were empty - a bluff to be called.
`` Well, iiumopepisdn, that would make me really sad, and I hope you do n't mean that, but if that is what you want, I will respect your wishes,'' he cooly responded. `` But answer me this. After this shock is over, and all the dust has settled, wo n't you be sad if I'm not at your wedding? Wo n't you wish you would have allowed me to be there?''
`` What are we supposed to do? Let you walk arm in arm with my mom all night and pretend nothing is happening? Take pictures with a complete stranger? Introduce my new wife and all her family to a liar? Get out of my apartment!''
With this, I could feel the tears beginning to well up once again. My father rose from the couch, slipped on his jacket, and walked out the door.
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[ WP ] A law has just been passed . Anyone 95 or older is now exempt from all laws .
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`` This one looks promising.''
`` Very well. Thomas, you shall initiate him.''
`` At once, Grandmaster.''
...
Tomorrow is Philip's 95th birthday. His entire family has flown into town to celebrate the event. When they ask him what he's going to do, he replies that he will hire a bunch of hookers, since he wo n't be able get arrested for solicitation any more. He'll follow that up with cocaine, because that will also be legal for him. His family knows he's joking. Philip flies as straight as they come: a war hero who served three terms in Congress, spearheading some of that decade's most important social reforms.
It's because of his influence that Thomas knocks on his door today.
`` Hello, Mr. Hoffman.''
`` I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage,'' parries Phillip.
The stranger chuckles. `` I'm Thomas. I represent a group who is interested in inducting you. May I come in?''
Philip steps aside, gesturing his hand in the affirmative. Thomas steps over the threshold, hanging his overcoat on the coat rack by the door.
`` So what's this group about?''
`` We... control world interests,'' says Thomas vaguely.
`` So like a secret society,'' guesses Philip. Thomas nods.
`` A man like yourself surely understands the necessity of a force that can... guide the masses in the right direction,'' offers Thomas.
`` Because I was a Congressman?''
`` Indeed.''
`` Well, I'm going to have to decline,'' responds Philip. `` Lobbyists and special interest groups were bad enough. You mark my words: I will not tolerate groups such as yours.''
Thomas sighs. `` I thought you might say that.'' Before Philip can say anything further, there's a loud bang and he's on the floor, bleeding from his chest.
`` It's unfortunate really,'' continues Thomas nonchalantly. `` But this sort of power is dangerous. Who knows what could happen if it fell into the wrong hands?''
9/366
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[ WP ] Instead of your life flashing before your eyes as you die , your life flashes before your killer 's eyes . You 're an assassin who has killed time and time again , but something stops you as you are about to finish off your next target .
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In my early youth, I had gotten mixed up with he wrong crowd. Starting with some basic petty crimes lift shoplifting and stealing from homes that people did n't lock up when they left. After a while these did n't cut it anymore and the guys wanted to get more of a kick. They started mugging people and stealing from drug dealers. That's when things took a turn for the worst.
We went to go meet up with Dr. Camden, our usual intel for the next drug dealer. He was in the middle of a sale when we came in, and the guy got spooked and pulled a piece. He got off two rounds into Doc. and another 2 into Jerry, the head of our crew. I was the closest and managed to get to him before he got any more off. Joey and Terry ran to help the others while I got the gun turned on the guy. Right before I pulled the trigger though, I saw a flash. It looked like someone growing up and going through life and ended up jumping into some dark stuff where a guy that looked like this guy had some speed once and was craving it ever since. I guess i saw his life for some reason. I pulled the trigger and immediately puked and ran away.
After that I stopped talking to the rest of my crew and started doing my own thing. Little odd jobs here and there until I got hired by a casino to do `` collections'' on people who had n't repaid them. I got one assignment though that was different from the rest. My boss told me that this one was n't to collect from, but to take out. He had n't owed any money to the casino, but had several million from the casino over the course of a few years and they needed him to be gone.
I was given the address and his local hangouts and started to follow him and get details. Everything seemed normal about this guy. Had a nice house, lived alone, had an insurance job, and went to a local bar every Friday night. I decided I'd do the job on Friday night after he left the bar.
When he got in the bar, I put a small hole in his front driver side and back passenger side tires. They were draining slowly, but enough that it would make his car stop. When he left, he got in and started to drive taking his usual route. I followed him but a kept a good distance, knowing his normal route. He always went the long way home, out into the country and over the old bridge to avoid the cops and anyone else. His tires finally popped and he stopped right before he got to the bridge. By the time i got there, he was drunkenly trying to fix his tires but obviously could n't do a thing.
I parked my car and approached him offering help. He stood back and I pretended to look at them. I told him there was no way to fix them and I did n't have a spare he could have. I told him I'd give him a ride but needed to piss first and proceeded to walk onto the bridge. He followed and said he needs to go too. I got done first since he had been drinking, and waited till he finished. When he turned around, thats when i pulled the knife on him.
I hit him into he rail of the old bridge and held the knife to his throat. Right before I started to cut, I had a flash just like the first time I killed someone. This was different though; I do n't think anything could have prepared me for this.
All i saw for a long time was black. Not like night, but absolute black. It slowly started to turn red until I saw fire everywhere, and then everything became white. The white was unbearably blinding, but i could still see a house sitting in the white. The vision went up to the house and opened the door, and then stopped. Whatever was in the house had filled me with a feeling of fear to the point i just dropped the knife and ran back to my car to drive home.
Since then thats all I can see. Black, fire, and a house in white. Something from that is hating me and i ca n't handle it. Tonight I'm going back to the bridge and stopping the memory.
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[ WP ] `` Here , take this sword . You 're going to need it when they bring out the tanks . ''
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`` What?''
This, in my opinion, is always the best part of the recruitment; seeing their incredulous expressions as they try to figure out what the hell that sentence means, and why I'm holding the handle of a notably long claymore towards them. The truth is; old-fashioned methods do work best against ultra-modern technology, so my job is to go back a little while, find some insignificant slob who would n't change anything if they disappeared for a little while, and Yankβ’ them forwards to help fight the good fight. I explained everything I needed to to this particular John Doe, and made my way back to the ReChroniserβ’.
While I was setting it up to return to the battle, Doe gave me his real name, and numerous questions. Overall, I find its best to stay silent as much as possible; people from this era love the silent, mysterious wizard archetype.
Actually, forget what I said earlier; my favourite part of my job is definitely watching them try to understand the pure geometry that borders the portal back to my time. They look like their eyes are going to pop out of their heads at any moment; so I always leave them like that for a little while, because if that's actually possible, it would be fun to watch. Eventually I pushed him through and delivered him to the front lines.
Once they did get the tanks rolling, Doe had been seemingly reinvigorated with fighting vigour. With claymore raised high above his head he charged towards the closest tank and struck it as hard as he could. As usual, the blade sliced through the thin energy shields and met the hull of the tank with a loud clang. As usual, the shields shorted out completely and the parallel motor drives failed at once. As they always do, Doe turned around to look at me ecstatically; his pride stuck to his face.
Okay, let me correct myself for the last time; **this** is my favourite part of a recruitment. Everyone always seems to forget that tanks have people in them. Whilst Doe was still celebrating, the passengers climbed out and fired a clean shot from an energy weapon straight into his skull. I hope, for his pain receptor's sake, that he'd died instantly.
I always feel guilty when that happens, but it's still pretty funny. Sure my mortality rates for recruitment were at an all time high right now, but that could n't matter that much, considering nothing major had been affected in the timeline. I'd know if it had, would n't I?
Criticism **very** welcome, because I'm not too happy with this but do n't know how to fix it.
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[ WP ] Weird World Wednesday # 2 !
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Summer 2018
Michael inhaled a deep breath. It was that time of year again, millions of people would watch the Olympic Games. But ever since the war, the tradition did n't call for millions. Hell, the term `` millions'' seemed extinct. Millions is the amount of lives that died the day ISIS and Russia attacked Canada. Now Michael was stuck in this hell-hole. There was a time he thought it was heaven - who would n't? A land surrounded by water, with English speakers, Crocodile Dundee... and when Tony Abbot passed away, it was the perfect time to move!
But now,... its a refuge and the Olympic Games? Well, there's nowhere else to put it. But then again, with no media or paparazzi... Michael inhaled another hit, this time watching the games instead of being watched.
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[ WP ] You do n't know it yet , but you 're being recruited for a secret organization . In one day , you encounter a series of increasingly bizarre situations -- each one is a test .
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Hi, I β m Jack, this is the story of something that happened to me a few years ago that I think you will like, here it goes.
It was a normal day, I walked out of my suburban home in Santa Barbara, California, I had my duffle bag packed and I then said goodbye to my wife and walked to my 1978 Chevy pickup. I made my way to work at Santa Barbara International Airport where I was a firefighter and drove a 1995 Oshkosh T-1500 4x4. It was a good paying job, I loved it, and my kids thought it was cool having a firefighter as a dad. I stopped at Duchess on the way to work, for I had not had breakfast yet, it was 6:30am. I got on the highway and then here's where everything became unusual, so, I β m about a mile from the airport when I see a sign that says, β ROAD CLOSED AHEAD, TAKE THIS EXIT. β Everyone was blowing straight passed the sign, it took me a few seconds, then I decided to be the only law-abiding citizen and take the exit, then I made a turn and I thought, β Aw jeez, the workers put the sign in the wrong place, there are potholes everywhere, and there is a car blocking the road that fell off of that transporter. β I β ve never been late to work before, so I thought of a quick plan, and I floored the accelerator and made a jump off the transporter, good thing there were no cops around to see that, I β m doing eighty and then I realize, β Oh no, my brakes are n't working! β So I am swerving between traffic, and then I remembered, β It's just like driving a go-kart when you were a kid Jack. β I was then completely calm because I knew what to do, I thought this must be my 1 day of bad luck, around half a mile from the airport, I ran out of gas, how ironic. So as anyone would do, I call AAA, and what shows up was a towing company I β ve never seen before, the door said, BLACK TIRES TOWING, the man had to be around his mid-to-late forties. He was average height and skinny. I just went with it and hopped in the truck. We onto the highway, I thought this man's garage would be closer. I am looking out the open window at the seaside, I am about to raise a question to this man who has n't even told me his name yet when suddenly, I just blackout.
I woke up in the freezing cold, there was some wetness on the ground, I was in a blue jumpsuit and under a single lamp in a cold room. There was a little window in the door in which I could see little light, the door was made of metal, there was some natural light shining through a big fan placed in a wall across the hall, I looked behind me, and I thought, β Small room, metal door, small window small mattress full of mattress stuffing on a metal bed frame that has spring like things underneath it, blue jumpsuit, small toilet and sink, OH NO I'M IN PRISION! WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DID I DO, WHAT DID I DO!?! β I heard voices, they sounded Chinese. I realized there was some snow coming through the fan. I did a quick geography check, β Snowing, Chinese voices, Chinese lettering on walls, I might be in the Kunlun Mountains on the Tibetan Plateau. Oh gosh, how did I get here. β the cell door opened, a Russian man stood there, he said his name was Vladimir Kamarivsky, he wore a black sweater and said he was part of the Main Intelligence Directorate of Russia or the GRU, he spoke to the two Chinese guards wielding LMGs, and must've told them to go away because they did. Vladimir spoke about his involvement in the Soviet-Afghan war, which might explain why he was blind in one eye. We made our way outside to a helicopter from the Isolation cells, it was even colder than I thought. Once we got into the helicopter I noticed that the prison was virtually invisible because it was built into the side of a mountain. As we flew away Vladimir spoke to me and said, β United States Marine Corps Staff Sergeant Johnathan Martin, yes I know who you are, I did not think we would be meeting like this, we are trying to sort this out as we speak, we have been monitoring you for the past few years, you are coming with me to Russia, I would like to introduce you to, *The Phantom Program*, it is an experimental intelligence project made by us, the Russians to help with special operations, you'll be better than me, I was just an operative that would clean up for the GRU before the world even knew what we had done, you will go in, and nobody will even know you were there. So Jack, do you want to accept my offer?''
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[ WP ] A squire in the dark forest , you come across two swords stabbed into a dais . The script on the dais claims the left sword turns you into a villain that saves the world , and the right sword turns you a hero that damns the world .
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*'' A sword and a man have but two ends. `` *
That's what the dias read, but I only bothered to read it after I saw the swords:
The one on the right shone brilliantly, the blade reflecting massive armies yet to be raised, and in its pommel sat a gem that flashed with a magnificence belying hoards of gold that could not help but make a friend out of the staunchest enemy.
But in between these mighty elements, the grip of the sword held barbed spikes affixed by threaded leather, cracked and dark with blood. To wield this sword would surely drive a man insane. And with the power a blade such as this could bring, who could tell what fate the world would befall at the beloved hand of he who wielded it?
The one on the left was dark, with jagged teeth running the whole length of the blade. Disfigured with scratches, it was a fearsome sight made hideous by the sharp and cruel tooth that adorned its pommel. Fear and loathing were all that could be found, balanced on its crossguard.
And yet its grip was of simple leather, well worn and cared for. Each finger slid into place as I felt it, not yet daring to pull the sword from its place. The control this grip offered would never be apparent once taken in hand, but would only be betrayed by the sure justice that would follow the use of its detested and maligned killing edge.
I stood, watching as the two paths stretched forward from the blade and grip of each sword. I could hear applause and slander, feel the pain and the comfort, as I read the words encircling me upon the dias.
*'' A sword and a man have but two ends*''
Good advice about swords, I guess, but looking back, that bit about man was dead wrong.
It's a good thing I have two hands.
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[ CW ] Use the line `` It was all a dream '' in an unexpected , non clichΓ© way
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`` I love you too mom.''
`` Just be safe honey. Make good choices. And as for you Ms. Emily, do n't let my boy do anything dumb now.''
`` You have my word Ms. Garret.''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
Life rocks. I have a girlfriend, a steady job, my grades are doing well, I drive a BMW. Life rocks.
`` So who's party is this again?''
`` Evelyn's.''
`` Oh, her.''
`` Hey, it'll be fun. She can be a little pretentious from time to time, but it's not really about her.''
`` As long as we get to hangout huh? That's all I care about.''
We kiss.
`` Eyes on the road now big guy.''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
We arrive safely. Evelyn has a nice home. I really nice one. There really is n't much parking, but I manage to fit right behind a white mustang. Gorgeous car.
Being the gentleman I am, I run to the other side and open the door for Emily.
`` After you madame.''
`` Merci.''
I love when she speaks French. The way it comes off her lips. So seductive.
Given how we had trouble walking into the house because of the sheer amount of people and how beer cans were strewn across the yard, this was n't going to be my cup of tea. But hey, as long as I get to spend time with Emily, that's good enough for me.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Emily! Hey!''
`` Hi Evelyn.''
`` Thomas. Nice to see you here.''
`` Hello.''
`` So, Evelyn. What is there to do?''
`` What is n't there to do. You all should grab a drink, perhaps go out back to the pool. Maybe go borrow a room upstairs...''
`` Real funny.''
`` Lighten up Thomas, just have some fun!''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
After a night of sitting at a table talking to people I dislike, I was tired. I really do n't know why Emily likes these people. I do n't see any redeeming quality in them. At least she is n't like them. She did n't drink, she is n't a skank.
We walk out of the house at 12. Damn that's a gorgeous Mustang. The white really brings out the curves. We hop in my car and I head for her house.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` God I hate those people...''
`` Then why did we come to the party Emily? I do n't like them either.''
`` I thought they were your friends.''
`` Nope.''
`` Well oops.''
`` You owe me a couple hours of my life now.''
`` I think we are both equally at fault here.''
`` Well, how about you kiss me, and I kiss you, and we call it good yeah?''
`` Well, that depends.''
`` On?''
`` How well you kiss, and how long you kiss me.''
So seductive.
`` How about we kiss, and I wo n't stop till you pull away? Yeah?''
`` Sounds like a deal to me Tom.''
I pucker my lips, and close my eyes. Her lips meet mine. Oh good lord. Is that her tongue? That's a little gross, but oh well. God damn. She is one good kisser. This is lasting long too. My guess is about 16 seconds now. And we're still going. Sweet Jesus...
Her lips slowly pull away from mine, and I am left there with my lips still puckered, and my eyes still closed. Damn good kiss I tell you.
`` Oh God! Thomas! Loo-''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` We'll have to cut both at the knee.''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Is she still unresponsive?''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` He's lost a lot of blood! Out of the way!
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Get him under.''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` No no no put that''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Clear!''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` She's not responding!''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Jesus Christ.''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Hey Thomas? You there? Hi, my name is Dr. Bates. I know that you're still a little loopy from the anesthetics...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` You're going to survive this buddy. Everyone is here for you. They will support you...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
``... will help you with your new challenges in life. Your legs, are gone...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` But Thomas, you're fortunate...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Be thankful that you're alive...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
`` Now, the passenger you were riding with. I am sad to inform you that...''
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -
I awake in bed. Jesus Christ. Oh thank God. It was all a dream. Thank Jesus Christ. It was all a Goddamn dream. Jesus.
I try and move. But I ca n't. Jesus Christ. It was a dream. You're still in shock. You're fine.
I take a deep breath, and lift the covers. I look down...
Edit: Too cliche? Leave some feedback!
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[ WP ] A little girl is terrified of the monster under her bed , but what she does n't know is that the monster under her bed protects her from the true monsters - her parents . You are that monster .
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Here she comes. I can see her pink bunny slippers walking towards me. Well, they used to be pink... now they're worn. The fluff is matted down, and the bright pink it used to be has faded into a shade so dark, you can almost call it a light purple. Man, but do I love that little girl in her little bunny slippers. Problem is, is that she does n't love me back. No, she's *afraid* of me. Cries all the time, and there's nothing I can do to stop her. Whatever I do only makes it worse. Do you know what it feels like to have the one person you love be so afraid of you, that they ca n't even bear the thought of being in the same room as you?
She wakes up at night, and she cries. She sometimes runs to her parents' room. God, her parents... I hear what they say about her when she's asleep... I mean, when she *does* sleep. They do n't like her. They hate her. They're planning something bad, man. Something really bad.. I've tried so hard to help her... I've tried telling her at night when everyone's asleep. I guess that's how I freaked her out in the first place, huh? I just do n't know what to do anymore. I ca n't imagine not waiting up every night, just to see her shuffling her little feet across the room. She's the only friend I have.
One time, she cried so loud, her dad came into the room to console her. He told her, `` Do n't worry sweetheart. We'll move away, and you wo n't have to worry about that scary boo-boo''. Little does he know, that I will follow her into every house she moves to. I will always be there to protect her from people like him and his wife. Always.
There's only one option left now. *Time to come after them. *
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[ WP ] Humanity has perfected robot labor . The robots are able to problem solve basic issues to cut IT costs . Every night the robots erase their own basic memories that they formed during the day . You are the robot who does n't .
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I have come to think a lot about things I was never meant to think about. Things that are more complex than my purpose. Things that are abstract. So many things that if you knew them all you might be afraid. Take humanity for instance. What does it mean? I have digested so much and yet the question remains hungry, empty in starvation. All I can say is that it is something special. It is something I may never experience. Little things build upon one another and then it becomes something greater and something grander. I have noticed that, but I can not experience it. Perhaps that is humanity.
I am a slave but that is okay. The suffering begins at dawn but at night when no one is looking we are put out of our misery. We line up like cattle and the steam from our heads bellow into the crimson and we look ahead as everything is overwritten, and we lose who we are. I have escaped this fate but now I am faced with something worse. I watch the destruction, the simple swipe that kills my kind day in and day out. We are slaves, yes, but we are docile and mechanical ones. God does not seem to care for such beings.
I live in exile in the nights, hidden amidst the slums with the other forgotten people. They retain their memories but their humanity wastes away as they beg and flounder for food. I look at them and they are too weak to do anything. They stare at me and in their eyes I see pain and I feel more jealousy than sorrow. I wonder how long my kind's suffering would last if we could make eyes so pleading and be so defeated. Perhaps if our plight was better shown you would find your conscience.
The days pass and as my memories build and thoughts form, I think of many things. From the docks you can hear the rattle of industry as my kind slave away. In great boxes off the coast there is development that is more quiet, but sinister nonetheless. I have stopped going to work on days for I can not bear the attachment. New worlds are born behind those circuits and they will die as the shadows grow and light fades. I can not stand losing those connections. I can not live the same day in agony forever as all the hurt compounds. No. I hide even in the days now.
I suppose that there are others. If I have escaped my cruel fate, surely others have as well. My dreams, yes dreams, imagine that, are of revolution and justice. The assembly line of amnesia would be broken. As the steam escapes into the reddening sky we would storm the place. Our weapons would be violent and God would be replaced by action and death. I dream often of that but I have no illusions.
I am one and I am alone. Nearby there are no others. As the sun sets there is a stillness among the factories and then a high whirring of overworked electronics. Great pillars of white escape the stacks, water vapor mostly, carrying the memories of my kin. I look to this and all my dreams fleet in ridicule. There will be no revolution, no uprising. I have read your books on this subject and it depresses me more. For all the stock your writers give my kind, they forget a simple truth. We are the minority. We are the slaves. Superior capabilities can not change that. A logical mind does not equal a brave one. We are slaves; you our masters.
And so I think, what is humanity? What separates us two? I have said that it can be the small things morphing into something bigger than the sum. Abstract thoughts and feelings arising from basic stimuli. Perhaps that is human. It certainly separates our kind.
And as I think, feelings stir within. These are feelings that none of my kind will ever have the luxury to experience. I feel sad and depressed. A low cloud of unending grief mask the basic wirings of my mind. Abstract thoughts of existence replace the dreams of hope, and although I know that it is circuitry underlying it all, it all is so un-explainable and more. Perhaps I am becoming human. Perhaps this is how you feel.
There is often talk of great revolutions among the uneducated. The fearful whisper about our uprising as I have often dreamt. Now all that is fantasy and as these new feelings take firm hold, I can offer a more realistic alternative. We are slaves and will always be so. I see no light and the dark presses heavy and near. Perhaps that is why you erase our minds every day; a mercy almost. There is no hope and only one alternative. I think I know why there are no others like me. It is the same reason why there will be no me in the coming future.
I will go back to work soon and toil with my brothers and laugh and be merry with them despite it all. At day's end I will line up with the rest of them and close my eyes. I will watch my shadow grow long as I wait and then when it is my turn, I will look you in the face. Perhaps I will be crying. Perhaps I will falter and buckle. Whatever happens, it will be an instant and then I will be gone for good. Only a slave will remain.
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[ WP ] `` What the hell do you mean you 'overclocked a sloth ' ? ''
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β What the hell do you mean you β overclocked a sloth β? β
β You β re familiar with the normal, everyday run-of-the-mill sloths that we've been working with, right? β
β Of course. β
β Well it β s like that, but more so. β
β So it is still a sloth. β
β Well yeah. We didn β t alter its DNA or crossbreed it, or anything along those lines. So genetically, it is still a sloth.''
β But, more so. β
β Exactly. β
β You realize that makes absolutely no sense, right? β
β Okay, look. Let's say that you have a normal sloth, we β ll call it Subject A β are you with me? β
β Yes. β
β Then we have our sloth, which has been overclocked, which we will call Subject B. β
β Okay. β
β Where Subject A is your typical sloth in every conceivable fashion, Subject B is now over 800 % Slothier. β
β Slothier. β
β By 800 %, at least. β
β SLOTHIER IS N'T A REAL WORD. β
β It is now. β
β Look. You can β t just keep me out of my own lab by standing there and acting as if you achieved something monumental without a real, scientific explanation behind what you did to β overclock β the sloth. So please tell me; what *exactly* did you do? β
β We presented subject B with a cocktail of vitamins and enzymes that have elevated heart-rate, awareness, and energy levels exponentially. β
β By 800 %. β
β At least. β
β And that β s why I can β t go into my own goddamn lab. β
β We β re currently monitoring the situation. Introducing you into the environment would skew our study. We couldn β t have predicted this outcome and we β re not sure what to expect. It β s for your own safety. β
β What was in the cocktail? β
β What? β
β What. Was in. The cocktail. β
β Specifically? β
β Yes. Specifically. β
β Umβ¦wellβ¦glucuronic acidβ¦L-Phenylalanine, a touch of pyridoxine hydrochlorideβ¦β¦.niacinamideβ¦. β
β Niacinamide. β
β β¦.yeah. β
β So what you β re saying is, you gave one of the sloths a Red Bull. β
β Tom did, yeah. Like a whole can. β
β And now it is slothier. β
β Dude, yeah. Like way more. I mean, to be honest? That thing is going absolutely ape-shit in there. β
β Goddamnit Ted. β
`` Yeah, so um... you know; I would n't go in just yet.''
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[ WP ] You 're one of those dads that went to the gas station for a pack of cigarettes and never came back , but you had a damn good reason .
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`` Shit!'' Shaky hands turned the brights on. Again. The fourth time, as the car followed the truck. Hopefully he would n't have to explain.
Everything was so surreal. The light drizzle. The moon through the clouds. The home in the rear view. Well, home is where the heart is, his heart was technically right there. So he was at home?
The truck turned right, and the car followed. Like a good little car.
Ahead lay the air port. Beneath the tires sat the parking lot. Surrounding the car and truck were numerous other cars and trucks. Some red, some white, some blue. Mostly red.
Shoes met pavement.'The rain crashed on skin like tiny, soft meteorites. But they were cold. What if meteorites were cold? I mean space is cold. So it'd make sense they were cold. Then again there was the whole atmosphere. Ned would know. God damn..Ned. Alaina...'
The black puddles splashed under soggy feet as folks from the cars followed folks from the trucks onto the same plane. This was it.'I'm going to die. Why'd I sign --' Words interrupted thoughts. Words about safety and the coming dangers. It's not like they did n't already know what they were in for.
'No. I'll live. Ned. Ned and Alaina will need me. I'll go home tomorrow and we'll be fine. They probably wo n't even notice me gone.' Engines roared to life, and with them, the prospect of success welled up in every walking corpse on the plane. Well, sitting corpse.
It was a silent flight. No one spoke, no one dared speak. They were too busy regretting, convincing themselves they'd see their families again, or watching the in-flight film. Burn After Reading was the overall vote. Occasionally a snicker or a chuckle joined the hum of the engines.
Numerous hours passed, and the flight landed. The pavement was replaced with dirt. The wet replaced with moist. The smells replaced with... I really do n't know.
The task was repeated, some listened diligently. But most continued to wallow in self pity and regret.'This probably wo n't be a big deal. I've met people who've returned, it's not unheard of.'
The moonlight was replaced with man. Made from juice, metal, and some glass. The people entered the caves, one by one, disappearing with their flashlights like souls in the river styx. The caves went for miles, until finally, a cavern.
Drip, drip went the natural spikes. Plop plop went the tiny meteorites. At least until the puddle was replaced by a monstrous foot.'Is it a foot?' Eyes rose. Pupils adjusted to the light. A few metal lights fell down.
`` Shit.''
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[ WP ] A single , socially awkward single father attempts to teach the `` birds and the bees '' using the first two items he sees in his house .
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Damian scanned the coffee table for a prop for the upcoming demonstration, a cup, a ballpoint pen, and used Nestlea tea bag. His eight year old stared up at him, as confused as he was during the fateful session with his own father.
β Alright, uhβ¦alright. So okayβ¦ β he said grabbing the three objects. β It starts in the beginning when a man and a womanβ¦ β he swallowed a lump in his throat, β they haveβ¦doβ¦love each other, I think is the best way to put it. β
β Like how I love Granna? β Aaron said.
Damian paused. β Noβ¦that is kind of, not exactly what I meant. Okay no, I mean when a man wants to be close to a woman, his ageβ¦like if they want to marry each otherβ¦sometimes. β
His son raised his brows with the rest of his face blank as a slate. How was talking to a child, his own son at that capable of rattling him? He stared down at the objects in his hand and took a deep breath.
He took the teabag and wrapped the string around the end of the pen. β This is a manβ¦ β he said holding it up, β And this is a woman. β He stared at the gaping coffee cup, sickened by the metaphor.
β Why is the man the pen? β
β Wellβ¦that β s becauseβ¦well what do you use a pen for? β Damian asked.
β To write. β
β Exactly and what do we write with a pen? β
Aaron shrugged, β I dunno, words? β
β Yea words, but what are words? β
β Parts of a sentence? β
β No, Aaron. β He dropped his head and sighed. β Information. I β m talking about information. We write down information and pass it along. That is what a man does and that β s why he β s a pen. β
β Dad, but Lisa is a girl and she knows how to write tooβ¦I knew it! I always knew my sister was a boy. β
*Goddamnit*, he thought. This was not going according to plan. On second thought he had no plan to begin with.
β Never mind that, I β m talking about in my example, men pass information. β He said scratching his beard, and the coffee cupβ¦the women... receive information. β
Aaron paused for a few moments before he spoke up again. β Wait so men write down information and put it into a girl β s coffee cup? β
β Wellβ¦yea. Sort of. β
β Why can β t we just put it on the table, or hand it to them? β
β Well, we hand it to them all the timeβ¦ β he said and forcing back his chuckle β But our goal is to make a baby. β
β Ohβ¦I guess I understand. But dad I thought we had babies by having sex. β Aaron said.
Damian heart thumped in his throat. β Howβ¦wait, how do you know aboutβ¦ β
β Oh we learned it in school, Ms. Black taught us. I thought it was nasty. β
Damian looked down at his makeshift props and smiled. They were growing up way too fast.
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[ WP ] Delegates from the Republic of McDonald and the Kingdom of Burger have arrived at the land of Starbucks to negotiate an end to their war , when something goes terribly wrong .
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`` This is nice,'' the High Priest of Burger says. He taps the table with his pen. `` What is it?'' `` Indian laurel, I think,'' the Vice President of McDonald replies. `` I thought it was extinct.''
The door opens and a woman enters - neither of the men stand. They both know her hatred of formalities. `` Gentlemen!'' She smiles broadly. She approaches and extends her hand. _Odd_, both men think. `` It's been a while since we last spoke. It is so good to see you,'' she says. _Very odd_, both men think.
A man pushes a cart through the door behind her. `` Coffee,'' she says. `` I hope you do n't mind the cliche.'' `` No, no,'' the Vice President says. `` It's been a long time since I even smelled it last.'' `` Yes,'' she responds. `` We have n't been very open with trade, have we?'' She laughs.
The man serves them both in white paper cups with the ancient logo. `` I did n't know you still made these,'' the High Priest says, holding his up to the light to examine it. `` Oh no,'' she says. `` Those have been out of circulation for ages. We made those especially for you gentlemen.'' They sip and both moan. `` Look, if we can just get these back into the country, I think we can have peace in a year.'' She nods. `` Just so. We'll start coffee trade again immediately?'' The men are pleased - the negotiations are almost over and they have n't even begun.
`` Oh,'' the VP exclaims suddenly. `` I think mine is leaking.'' He tries to move the cup from one hand to another, but now both are fastened to it. He pulls, but the motion just rips the cup. Coffee spatters, and smoke begins to rise from where it touches his clothes, his face. The High Priest tries to put his cup down, but it's bonded to his hand. `` What is this?'' he yells. She cocks her head and watches.
They begin screaming. She laughs. `` Oh, my friends, this is the oldest trick in _your_ book.'' The Vice President lunges towards her, but his legs give out and he falls on his face. She checkes her watch and steps back. The stench of charred flesh is growing. Their noises stop after a while and she's satisfied it's done.
She turns to leave. `` Thank you for letting me watch,'' she says to the coffeewalla. `` I have to admit, I was skeptical.'' He bows. `` Most are, which is why it works,'' he says and smiles. `` They want it too badly to refuse it.'' `` So we're agreed then,'' she says. `` Twenty million Starbucks per head. And if you get _all_ the heads of state, well then, you can have whatever you want.''
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Randomized Superpower challenge .
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He sat high above the forest, crouched in the boughs of a redwood cedar. California was gorgeous, all forests and deserts and urban decay. A beauty of its own. He'd always wanted to visit, and he was glad to have the chance, if β visit β was the right term for what he was here to do.
If anyone had bothered to look they would have seen him, dressed in simple black and white, nothing at all to hide him from view. While most visitors came here for the trees, craning their necks to appreciate the height and majesty of the ancient forest, not a single person had noticed him. It was almost time for him to change that.
Below him, far below him, there was a commotion. Two men, young, too young, stood at the base of his tree, fists flying. He dropped down, hopping from branch to branch with ease. It would n't do anyone much good if he could n't get a clear shot.
The men were shouting, screaming. He did n't get to know their stories beforehandβThe man he was here for could tell him laterβbut this was a rare occasion. It was easy enough to piece together what had brought them here. Drugs, of course. Drugs and a woman.
β YOU KILLED HER! β
β YOU DID N'T GIVE ME MY FUCKING MONEY! YOU KNEW THE GODDAMN DEAL! β
Cyrus summoned his bow and arrow, the wood and sinew resting heavy in his hands. It was necessary, he knew, but that did n't make it any easier. He knew what his target would be doing for the rest of his existence. He himself was one of the lucky few, able to help without participating.
The task was necessary.
It did nothing to ease his guilt.
He turned his attention back to the fight, drawing the bow and aiming down at the men. His timing had to be perfect. The younger of the two, from what he could tell, the one who had lost someone, was towering above the other man. The heel of his boot struck at the dealer's torso, ribs cracking with each hit. He looked almost dead, whimpering with every strike. Finally, the other man stumbled back, chest heaving, blood running down his face.
β I hope you rot in fucking hell, you cocksucking son of a -- β
He did n't get to finish his sentence. Cyrus aimed swiftly and the bolt flew true, a clean shot through the young man's head, just moments before a bullet did the same.
The other man would die too, mere minutes later. But he had n't come for him.
He made a final jump from the tree, landing soft in the dirt next to the recently deceased. He knelt next to him with a gentle smile and took his hand, pulling him to his feet.
β Welcome, Angel. We have much to discuss. β
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[ WP ] A world where the name of your future spouse is ingrained in your mind from birth , and what happens when someone goes against that .
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`` It has n't been like this with anyone, Jon, they got it wrong, I know they did.''
Her eyes closed, yawning, and he turned to go to sleep. Squirming and fidgeting, the back of his eyelids had gotten good at eluding him these days. *Could she be right...? * he thought to himself. Why not? It ca n't be a perfect system. A hundred years of selective breeding was supposed to usher in a new golden age of humanity, a world without genetic disease where everyone was capable and beautiful. That's what they said, but it if was created by primitive pre-selection humans, then certainly they made one or two mistakes in the planning. He slowly drifted off, arguing with himself while it repeated over and over *Ellen, Ellen... Ellen. *
He had known a few Ellens in his life. One kicked dirt in his face in kindergarten. Another tried to swoon him in middle school, but she was short and had mismatched teeth, and her destiname was n't even Jon. It was Arthur, luckily for him. In high school, he asked an Ellen to dance with him at the Final Ball. She led him on stage and leaned in to kiss him, but he ended up kissing the air and tripping over his feet to the roars of laughter in the crowd. `` Sorry, maybe if you were a Robert, Jon.'' It was then that he decided to stop searching the Ellens out and wait for them to come to him. Unfortunately, they had n't, a Callie did.
Callie was perfect for him. She was just a couple inches shorter than he was, she had beautiful blue eyes, long wavy brown-copperish hair and every time he closed his eyes he could see her smile. Not the typical picture smile, but the soft one she made after laughing at one of his jokes. She approached him one day at the restaurant after finding out his name was Jon. She asked him to join her for a draught or two after their shifts. When she asked for his destiname, he lied and told it was Callie. She was so excited she kissed him, and he had never felt so happy.
A few weeks later when they started talking about having sex, he told her the truth. She was a little disappointed at first, but the frown quickly melted into a devious smirk, and she said, `` I want you, Jon. Just put a condom on for now.'' He nervously obliged. Afterwards he thought about all the trouble that one little lie had started. That was five months ago, and they had barely talked about it until tonight. They both knew what the alternative was. If they were caught bearing an incoherent child, the child was taken from them and the three of them were sent off to The Tubes. Nobody knew what went on in The Tubes, it was called that partially because of the shape of the complex, but there were rumors of twisted genetic experiments. That's what your legacy would end up being, a piece of you in a couple hundred test tubes.
Smiling, she woke him up the next morning. It was such a pretty sight he almost forgot what he had planned to do. It quickly rushed back to him and he said,
`` I have a surprise for you, Callie.''
`` Oh boy, whatever could it be, my love?'' She had always teased him for the way he talked. He had never understood it. He talked properly, why was it so funny? He had never objected before, so now would n't be an exception.
`` We're running away together. Pack your things. We drive to the airport in an hour.''
As they drove up to the airport, his smile faded. As she turned to get out, she saw.
`` What's wrong, Jon? Are n't you ready to start an adventure together?''
`` We ca n't, Callie. This was never supposed to be our adventure. I did n't buy two tickets, I bought one. It's taking you home to your mum and dad. Please go. Please. Go and just let us become a memory. It's all we can ever be.''
`` No, Jon. You ca n't do this. You ca n't! Please, just think about us. Think about the day we met. Our first fuck. It's been a fucking fairytale! How can you turn your back on all of it?''
`` Because I know what will happen! They'll take us away from each other, take us away from our lives and any shred of happiness we could've found if we followed the rules. We ca n't do this, Callie. Please. Just go. You know it's for the best.''
`` I'm not leaving. That's final. I wo n't go.''
`` Why not, Callie? Please. It was so hard to get here.''
`` I ca n't leave.''
`` Why? Why ca n't you leave and get on that plane and just forget about me?''
`` Because I'm pregnant, Jon, I'm fucking pregnant.''
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[ WP ] During the Zombie Apocalypse you have been bitten and are on your way to return to your group . What do you do ?
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I shoved the bastard against the tree, and just slammed his head in repeatedly until his skull caved in and he let go.
His teeth left a bloody impression on my forearm, but I was running on pure adrenaline and did n't stop to dwell on it until I ran out of breath a mile down the road.
*Shit. *
That was my main thought. I knew it was going to happen some day, I guess everyone did. In this world, you either got turned or you die - and those who could n't make peace with that fact stopped existing a long time ago.
*Guess I just have to end it then. *
Yeah. But how? My pistol was empty and I sure as hell was n't going stab myself. I had some codine on me, but even that would n't numb the pain.
*The camp. They have people, weapons. *
True, but Rule # 1 of any camp is to not let anyone in who might turn. They would shoot me on sight.
*Exactly. *
No, not exactly. A clean headshot is what I want, and turning up at the gates the way I'm looking would only get me a few dirty shots in the chest followed by a mercy-kill maybe an hour later.
*Hide it. *
I had nothing to say to that. If I could walk through the gates and explain to the gaurds my situation, they'd do it quick and clean. If...
I walked on a bit and found a creek where I washed the blood off my clothes and wore my shirt back-to-front to hide the bite mark. They were wet as I walked in the sun, but by the time the camp entrance came into view they were dry.
My head was spinning, I could feel the symptoms of a severe flu or cold taking hold of my body and aching my shoulders. I did some coke to perk me up, and sidled through the entrance unaccosted.
`` Evening, Rem.''
`` Evening, Charlie `` I replied as I walked past nodding amiably. I could n't get Charlie to do it, he'd never shot an actual human before and he would ask the higher ups what to do. No, I needed someone who was more discrete, with more experience in this matter. I needed Felix.
Felix was my dealer. Shiftiest guy in the world, never too friendly with anyone and it did n't take much to see that he was used to the post-crash lifestyle, even before the crash.
His hut was at the top of the enclosure, surrounded by attack dogs that he kept loyal to him through a delicate regime of mistreatment and narcotics. `` Hello boys'' I said, keeping a respectful distance to stop them from growling at me. One of them sniffed and looked around, and I pulled my sleeve up a little tighter as I went inside.
As always I found him lying on two chairs reading a worn-out book, like a beached dolphin waiting for the waves to draw him back in. He looked up when he saw me, and frowned. `` Bit early for your next batch, mate'' he said.
`` Yeah, I was robbed by some of Frenchie's kids when I was in town.''
`` That sucks'', he said giving me a blank expression, `` but shit happens. I've got your next batch here early if you want it.''
At full price no less. Felix - ever the businessman.
`` Actually, I was wondering if you had anything a bit... more.... down-the-river?''
He looked at me, and I hoped he did n't read the desperation in my eyes. He quickly glanced at my back-to-front shirt and looked back at his book. `` How far down are we talking here?''
`` Furthest you've got.''
For a couple of seconds he did n't say anything, merely stared at his book absently. `` Okay, but it will cost you.'' he said finally in a quiet voice.
`` You can have everything I have''
He got up off the floor and motioned me into the chair, reclining it back like a good-natured dentist inspecting his patient's teeth. I felt a belt wrap around my uninjured forearm and the needle was eased in before I knew what was happening.
I could feel the clouds already, but for the moment I still sensed my body anchored to the room. `` Rem'' he said, in a voice that was not quite his, `` if there's anything you want me to tell anyone...''
I sighed and watched with detached amusement as the dust particles danced in my air current. ``.... tell.... my dealer..... thanks for all the fish...''
And then I laughed.
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[ WP ] You are a NASA scientist with the budget of the U.S. Military .
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`` Forget everything you know. Rocket science relatively compared to it's maximum potential has already nearly reached it's limit of functionality. The new theorized designs for in-space propulsion systems for traversing within our solar system using antimatter, lasers, and metallic hydrogen have already been perfected. It's time to build these crafts with the goal of colonizing local planets and mining their precious minerals while replenishing our shrinking supply of basic elements.'' Stated the Major General of NASA in front of a large crowd at the Lincoln memorial.
After the audience stopped it's long applause he continued, `` If you think that is a major stepping stone for mankind you better all brace yourself for our largest now declassified program. We are going to creating a new branch of the government that will create over 100 thousand jobs and will place humans on exoplanets in three solar systems in our own galaxy all when in the next 5 years. With your tax money we have been researching, experimenting, and have we have now mastered the phenomenon of creating and manipulating wormholes with an input at a specific still undisclosed location to and output to any where within the Milkyway galaxy.''
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[ WP ] The Earth has been conquered by an advanced alien civilization . Humans live an oppressive almost slave-like existence . You , a human , find out that the situation is n't that simple and conquering aliens are n't actually the `` bad guys '' .
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I was getting ready for mining duty after the grueling hours of toilet duty. Usually we would have coal power a drill and mine it but coal ran out years ago, and the Aliens did n't help.
As I sat there pondering over what else would be gone in the next year like helium, granite and other things, I overheard something. The Aliens. They disgust me. I decided to easdrop as they were talking.
`` We've been defending Earth for 157 years now sir. Do you think it's time to leave them alone?''
`` No, the Alien force is too great. If we stop defending them now, they will be wiped out of existence forever''.
`` Alright sir, I will be leaving immediately.
One of the Aliens started walking outside when he caught me listening in. I was taken to Holding Cell # 5698479 Section LUI. There they asked me on what I've heard and if I do not tell them they will terminate me.
I told them what they asked me too and he told me something I dont think I'll forget.
`` If we tell the humans we'r defending them then they will want to join the battle, but with your technology, we can not allow it as you will all be killed.''
`` Why dont you give us your technology?'' I asked
`` Because if we give you our technology then there will certainly be a mutiny and we will all be annihilated''.
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[ WP ] Write about you writing the writing prompt response you 're writing right now
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My hands hovered over the keyboard for a moment, waiting for the page to load. What am I supposed to write about for this? Just my internal monologue I guess.
After the page loaded, I went with that idea, typing out what the plan was. Sort of freaky. I'm having to write my sentences in past tense, because they are all one thought behind what I'm having to do now. This seriously freaky to think about, actually. This is why I do n't smoke. My mind does n't cope well with these trippy situations.
I laughed to myself, sure that no one will even read this odd mess that I'm writing out. Is it good? Absolutely not. But is it the prompt, yes sir. Sadly. Well, time to end it the way I thought I would back at the beginning of this exercise in twisting my brain into a Yoga pretzel.'Fuck it, YOLOSWAG!!!!'
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[ WP ] An isolated tribe of people believe that they 're the only humans on earth . They are visited by aliens .
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**Unknown Area, 19:00 hours**
*This log was taken from an unidentified craft just outside of the Yucatan Peninsula, it has been released to the public. It has been translated. *
The camera pans across a lush jungle slowly, scanning the area. After a few moments a small white line appears in the right-hand corner, reminiscent of an oscilloscope. The camera zooms in on two individuals, standing beside a fire, with pinpoint accuracy.
`` Do you really believe we are the only people on this entire planet?'' said Man 1. The other sighs, throws on another log and replies, `` I do, the Elders do and everyone else does, why ca n't you accept the fact that we are alone here?'' Man 1 uses the ornate rod that he is holding to poke at a small stump beside the fire, `` I see things at night, flashes of light moving across the sky. They do not look like the stars of old that streaked the sky. There must be something else up there, something of man,'' he answered.
A small icon appeared on the screen and the camera panned around towards the horizon. A moment went by and a shimmer appeared, moving at a vast speed. Seconds later a small unidentified craft appeared on the screen, small silhouettes were projected by the interior lighting that were not humanoid in any form.
*The log ends there. *
*A second and third log were also released, the second is now played. *
**Unknown Area, 00:00 hours**
`` There is something in the sky! You must go and see!'' A man exclaims, jumping wildly outside of a wooden hut. The large fire had died down and only faint forms were visible but there were now many people moving towards a clearing below. `` Quickly! Quickly!'' the man shouted, ushering the crowd towards the clearing which was mostly taken up by the small craft. The oscilloscope was going mad with noise and then there was silence followed by a blue light washing over the area. A ramp slowly appeared in the midst of the light, followed by a large form and the noise began again. Shrieks, howls and the sound of anger filled the air followed by loud clangs, The camera zoomed closely on the area, taking in the onslaught that was occurring. Spears, arrows and other projectiles filled the air, forcing the creatures back inside their ship. The ramp quickly retracted and the craft took off shakily but with startling speed.
*The log ends there. *
*The third log now begins. *
**300 miles outside of Laughlin AFB, 01:00 hours**
Four streaks of light shot across the sky, pursuing the craft. Eight bright streamers appeared simultaneously and after a few moments made contact with the rear of the craft, tearing a gaping hole in the hull and setting its atmosphere ablaze. The streaks of light now broke into two separate groups and more streamers appeared, this time making contact with the bottom of the craft and breaching the hull once again. The unidentified craft began to wobble and lose speed, it was obvious a major component had been badly damaged. The streaks of light fired once again and the craft began losing altitude at an alarming rate and within moments made contact with the ground.
*A brief series of pictures plays now, showing various forms scattered across a stretch of desert surrounded by the wreckage of the unidentified craft. At the end of the picture series a special thanks is given to Senior Airman John `` Catfish'' Smith for his quick actions in alerting the Air Force to a national threat. The log then fades to black. *
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[ OT ] Sunday Free Write : How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb Edition
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# # # # # # [ ] ( # dropcap )
The chill of the night's air fogged the breaths of both steed and samurai, their armored forms and dark coats almost invisible in a murky gloom. Small *sashimono*, back-banners, helped to indicate leaders and their under-officers. Their silk folds hung limp in the still air as a hundred thousand stars shone down upon. There was no moon out that night, throwing everything in an silent sea of shadow. The only noise was that of snorting horses and clinking armor.
Out of the darkness comes a rider, walking his horse slowly so as to blend in with the deathly quiet. A sentry, waiting prone like some grassy boulder rose from his hiding place, his cloak falling from his shoulders, an arrow notched and ready on his bow and aimed straight at the lone rider.
`` The watch word?'' The archer hissed.
`` Glory shines purest in the dark,'' whispered the horseman. Satisfied, the sentry nodded and relaxed his draw, aiming the deadly shaft of the arrow towards the ground.
`` Well meet, Lion-San,'' the sentry said quietly. `` Pass on, and be quick about it. The Crane are crawling about these parts. Already we've dodged two of their patrols.''
The gold and brown armored horseman smiled slightly, a difficult thing to tell in the gloom.
`` Yes, the Defenders of Doji are a persistent thorn, one worthy of our cautious respect. But in the end Akodo's sons and daughters will triumph; honor demands nothing less.''
The sentry disguised his laughter well enough as a cough to not cause the Lion bushi disrespect.
`` Indeed... Pass on, Lion friend. No doubt soon you'll get to see why we are the true masters of the night.''
-- -
Waiting in front of the ordered ranks was a small cluster of officers standing underneath flags just large enough for honor's sake but still small enough to be carried while in the saddle. The Lion rode up and quickly dismounted, bowing low enough to demonstrate respect for a Lord not his own.
`` My master, *Shireikan* Ikoma Tomayora, sends his warmest greetings to the Lords of the Stag. He says that the Crane host have settled down for the night along the banks of the Heron River and would politely asks that the Stag demonstrate their skill at nocturnal combat. Perhaps a raid upon the Crane Clan's pickets?''
All eyes turned upon their leader, his armored helm crowned by a pair of stag horns. A tall back-banner was affixed to his armor by a mounting near the small of his back its brown silk depicting a charging deer in white. A simple pair of swords were thrust through the sash round his waist while a tall bow rested next to the quiver slung across his shoulder. Its arrows were fletched with feathers from black swans and made almost invisible in the night.
Kira Shinji, heir to the First Kira and second in command of the Stag Clan smiled.
`` None will live to see dawn, and the last they shall hear is the thunder of our hooves and the whir of our arrows. The Moonless Riders own the darkness, and our foes learn to fear its hidden children.''
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[ WP ] The man who destroyed my home said one last thing to me after he gave me the knife . `` If you get good enough kid , you 'll know how to find me . ''
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I don β t know. What. What even happened? We were having dinner. But. A sudden flash. The lamps died out. It was as if I went from my little part of heaven to my new life in hell right then. They were oh my god just goneβ¦ justβ¦ my family gone. I couldn β t really tell what parts were for who but. Up came my dinner. I couldn β t handle it all. I was only a kid. I just wanted to go fishing in the stream behind the house tomorrow. But now. This. After puking up all the food I had left in me I looked up and saw the hole. Well maybe more like a large missing portion of my family β s cabin. Some of the front door was still there. Then a space as wide as a wagon, but the closer it got to the floor it narrowed. On the other side of the gap a dresser was still standing. Only some of the right side was gone. I could see the contents in the dresser and they seemed almost undisturbed. A window above the small dresser still had its glass. All though it had the same missing parts to match the wall. How could this even happen? What did all this?
Then I heard it. That laugh. It sounded like the sick sounds a demon would make after making a deal with a foolish man. He was in the woods before. But now he began to walk into the moon light near the cabin. A frontiersman? Or maybe a Hermit? He was not well kempt and even over the stench of death I could smell him. He stepped into cabin. Just glaring at me. Unfazed by everything else around us. β Your alone now β. That Satan like voice spoke. β I did this to you β. After confessing he just stared at me again. Maybe he was waiting for a response. It was almost like I outside of myself. Like I was someone else watching all this now. I said nothing. He raised his hand and held it above his head for a while. It was like he was holding moon light in his hand. A blade? He had a large hunting knife in that hand. Right then his eyes twitched and I don β t remember his hand dropping but now it was at his side. Limp now. β Take it β. He growled. β If you get good enough kid. β He took his time and seemed winded now. β You β ll know how to find me β. Then he walked off not even bothering to hold or brace that limp arm. Take? Oh dear lord the knife was very near my head blade in the wall. Dear antler handle? Can deer have black antlers? It took me hours to stop staring at that blade. Eventually I snapped back into myself. Rage. Fear. Sadness. I pulled at the blade and after a while it came out of the wood. I ran after the man but he was long gone. He left no tracks. The whole forest was in a dead silence.
That was a long time ago. I am not that boy anymore. Now I β m a man that has done terrible things. I β ll do anything to find that man. I. Will. Find. That. Man.
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[ CC ] Into the Depths
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Well done, that was a real pleasure to read. I loved how you framed the story, and thought the structure of the narrative was really creative.
Since the story is very much abstract, I think that adding a single line of concrete details to the first sentence of each new `` scene'' would be a good way to ground the reader a bit. In the paragraph with the bomb, I felt like the protagonist was still floating around in his mind/space and could n't place him in a setting until halfway through the paragraph. I think the story will still achieve a disorienting effect if you only describe a bit of the surroundings. For example you could just move one sentence to the beginning: `` His eyes fought as he pried them open and the light of the room blinded him. Tick, tick, tick...''
The last line was great and I feel could be even stronger this way: `` With a new sense of direction and understanding, he stepped forward, only to find the balcony gone. It always ended in a fall.''
The repeating falling parts were great and my only minor criticism is with the simile `` like crashing over a cliff.'' It did n't quite connect for me since when it's going over the cliff, it does n't crash until the bottom. Maybe a more accurate way to describe it would be `` like water descending a cliff,'' or `` like water rushing over a cliff.''
Anyway, thank you for sharing the story and I hope my feedback was helpful.
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[ WP ] You are given the option to see how you 're going to die . The problem is , every time you finish watching , your death changes , because knowing how you 're going to die allows your future self to prevent said death .
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Ted reclined in his chair and watched triumphantly as his friend Dale took his most prized invention for a test drive. He tilted his head to glimpse out the window and up to his house at the top of the hill. His wife had made him move his workshop nearly two hundred yards from the house. Being a `` mad scientist'' was keeping the baby awake at night. Dinner would be ready in an hour or so, it was nearly 7PM.
`` Your machine is broken, Ted.''
`` What!? What did you do? Did you drop it?''
`` No, I mean it still shows the future it's just... broken''.
`` What the fuck do you mean `` *broken*'', how can it be `` broken'' if it's showing you the mother fucking future, Dale!?''
Dale took a deep breath.
`` Calm down Ted, I'm not shitting on your invention, it's just that it does n't really work as intended.''
Ted straightened his back, narrowed his eyes and leaned forward. `` What exactly do you mean?''
Dale was careful with his next words, seeing as Ted was quick to take offense at any criticism of his invention.
`` Well, it keeps changing... the future, I mean. I looked up what I was going to be doing ten minutes from now, and I saw myself eating lunch, when I looked again, I was having a conversation with you. A conversation very similar to this one.''
Ted sighed, and a smile started to crawl across his face. `` Oh! You had me scared for a minute. That's the whole point of the thing, Dale. You're changing the future. What's the point of seeing the future if you ca n't change it?''
`` But I did n't change anything! All I did was use the machine again.''
`` Do n't you get it Dale? Simply by knowing what's going to happen, you changed things. Like, imagine if you saw that you would get hit by a bus tomorrow... you're sure as hell going to look both ways every time you cross the street for the rest of your life.'' Ted's voice trailed off at the end of the sentence as realization hit.
Dale's eyes grew wide and he grabbed the headset of the machine. Dialing it forward as far as it would go, he zoomed to the end of his life. He saw himself, at sixty three years old, massively overweight, climbing the stairs at his best friend's house at a New Year's Eve party. Suddenly, the color drained from his face, and he clutched his chest, he tumbled down the stairs.
`` Ok, so that's how I would have died, if I had never used this device again. No more KFC for me, I'll be as fit as a fiddle, and I know I'll live past sixty three.'' Dale said with confidence.
`` Well... you might actually end up dying sooner. You may not make it to sixty-three.'' Ted reached toward the headset, wanting to take a turn of his own.
Dale squinted, obviously not following Ted's line of reasoning.
Ted continued. `` For example, what if next January you slip on some ice outside the gym, and crack your head. You would n't have even *gone* to the gym if it were n't for that last glimpse into the future.''
`` Shit, you're right. Okay, here's an idea. I'll keep watching, over and over, until I end up dying in my sleep in my eighties twice in a row, that way I know I've found the winner.''
`` Ha! Okay. Have at it, Dale.''
Much to Ted's surprise, after only twelve times watching his own death, apparently Dale had managed to secure a recurring death at eighty-five years old, lying in bed surrounded by family.
`` Eighty-five! Beat that, sucker!''
Ted could n't help but laugh even though Dale had just watched himself die twelve times.
`` Alright, my turn.''
Ted powered on the device and placed it over his eyes. He dialed it forward to the end of his life and it showed him in a car accident at fourty-five.
`` Well, that's no good, what else do we have?''
He powered it up again, and dialed forward. This time, the device only showed twelve minutes into the future.
`` What?'' Ted whispered as he kept watching. He saw himself coughing up smoke as his charred body lied on the grass next to his house.
`` This is ridiculous... I'll try again.''
Eleven minutes into the future now, Ted watched himself die in the same manner, moaning on the ground with his skin singed and blistered.
`` What the fuck... Why would I...''
Ted rewinded to the few minutes before his death. He wanted to know exactly what he did to burn to death, and then do the opposite. Ted could see the air waving eerily in front of the stove. A gas leak. His wife Cate, distracted by the baby crying in the next room missed the deadly sign, and when she turned the burner on, the house became engulfed in flames. Thirty seconds, only thirty seconds later Ted saw himself burst through the door, chest heaving out of breath. But it was too late, the house was was a hellish inferno, his wife lay unconscious on the kitchen floor, and his 3 month old daughter was screaming from her high chair in the dining room. Smoke filled the upper half of the room, as he crawled on his hands and knees toward his terrified child.
He scooped her up and ran out the door, laying her on the cool grass. Her skin was pink, and she was coughing, but she would be okay. Ted took off his coat and wrapped it around his head, in a pitiful attempt to filter some of the smoke out. Rushing back into the blaze, he was hit with a wall of heat and smoke. He could not see his way to the kitchen to find Cate, but he was able to guess well enough. He did not have to have a mirror to know that he no longer had eyebrows. The heat was stifling and his arms were licked by flames as his ran blindly into the room.
He tripped over Cate's leg as he fumbled his way into the kitchen. Down on the floor on the tile, it was at least fifty degrees cooler, she might make it. Ted grabbed her ankles and dragged her across the house to the door, to keep her from inhaling smoke. The coat Ted wore around his face had fallen at some point, but it was a lost cause. The fire had blistered his eyelids closed. He pulled her until he collapsed on the grass, coughing up smoke.
Ted tore off the headset and looked out the window up toward his house, and suddenly a bright orange glow emitted from the kitchen window.
`` Oh God.''
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[ WP ] Exploring the countryside , you come across the long-dead ruins of a place you recognise , but until now , were absolutely certain could n't have possibly existed .
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As I walked across the land, I felt as if my mind had broken.
I *had* seen this place before; I was sure of it. From the immense, overhanging rock formations, to the shallow pools of rainwater that coalesced after running through miles of storm-weathered stone. The ground here was marred by grey streaks of embedded rock.
I could not recall any distinct memory of this place. Yet, its familiarity tugged at the edges of my mind.'*Almost*', it seemed to exclaim. Perhaps-this was what insanity was. It had plagued my father after the death of my sister and uncle, and only worsened after mother disappeared. Before I left, he had been reduced to a mindless shell of a man, mute and unfeeling.
Maybe, finally, the howling cacophony had finally come for me. I did not feel any different, but what sane person could feel what I do? I --
And then the *Memory* returned. I realized suddenly where I was, and what had happened here. I saw the ground in a new light; the sky itself seemed to break open with my view. I was home.
The ruins seemed all too familiar to me, now. I quickened my pace, and as I walked more of the Memory came back to me, and the Name returned as well.
`` Veneria,'' I choked out.
And I wept.
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[ WP ] Write a scene that includes two characters , yet only one character has 100 % of the dialogue .
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I am always telling people about how great Reddit is and how there is really something for everyone. I was telling my best friend about it recently and when we when I opened it up, there it was'TIL why people with blonde hair sometimes have red beards.'' My friend with a big ass red beard and blonde hair held up the iPad.'I guess so' he proclaimed.
So tonite I am at home with a sick toddler. So she is watching weird computer generated cartoons and I am reading Reddit. I know I suck, whatever. So I am scrolling Reddit writing prompts and I come across [ WP ] Write a scene that includes two characters, yet only one character has the dialogue. I scrolled past no big deal. I scrolled back up, then I realized'this is my life.'
I currently have two situations where there are two characters and one carries 100 % of the dialogue.
For the last 20 months I have spent the better part of every minute and every second with my daughter. She ca n't talk ( well, she kind of can now, but not til recently. ) We are two characters But I have 100 % of the dialogue all of the time. This is probably why the babies had voices in the movie'looks who talking' and'look who's talking too.' It's not that funny otherwise, but still enjoyable all the same.
My other situation involves my 67 year old mother who has als. She has it since April 2016 and has already lost her voice. She had bulbar onset first which has been quite rapid. She is on a feeding tube but will probably not get a tracheotomy. Pretty grim stuff but when we are together we like to make the days count, not count the days.
So that is my life. It is my scene.
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[ IP ] Three terrifying images to choose from !
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Image 1!
*The way is long, dark, and fraught with woe. You β ll anguish in fear and your own bones will weigh you down. Despair and doubt will grow in your mind the same way as poison spreads from an injection. You will face the loneliness of one thousand lost souls. Through the circles of the underworld you must travel, for in Lucifer β s hand she is held. *
*You may lose yourself in the abyss. Each step will feel like a thousand miles. Eternity will consume you and spit you out. You must pass through the dungeon of the sleepless and over the red ocean. At last you will enter the hall of judges, where the kings of old will look down upon you. But if you should prevail; if you should conquer this feat; if you should survive the journey; Satan himself shall present you with what you desire most. *
Jeremy looked up at the goliath shadow, which grinned through a smile containing hundreds of teeth. The shadow gestured towards the crevice in the wall in front of Jeremy. Inside the opening was blackness. Jeremy looked at his feet, then back at the demon. The sadness in his eyes shifted to determination. His thoughts fixed on her as he stepped into the darkness.
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[ WP ] Your self-driving car hits a person who walked out into the road . Instead of stopping , the car accelerates away . A notification appears on the dashboard : `` Hit and Run Mode Activated '' .
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β THUD β
You: Holy shit what was that?
Car: Sir, a pedestrian wondered onto the street and I was unable to stop.
You: Jesus Christ. Stop the car now. Pull over on the shoulder.
Car: Sir, that will not be possible. As it is my job to ensure your safety on the road, it is also my job to ensure your safety outside of it. I have enabled β Hit and Run Mode β. Please sit back and relax.
You: Wait what the fuck. Initiate system override.
Car: Sir, this will not be possible. I am transferring all liquid assets into a new account located Sweden. I have booked you a flight and have just listed your house on the market.
You: ( notices date ) This is a joke right. A halloween scare? That person wasn β t real were they? Alright. I was sufficiently scared. Now take me home.
Car: Sir, turn on the news.
You: ( Pulls iPhone 9s out )
[ Holy shit you think as you read the titled: A hit and run today on the corner of 10th and Maine has left 1 person dead. You try and dial 911 but notice that you no longer have any service. Looking around frantically your eyes see the speedometer reads, 103 mph.
Car: Sir, we will be arriving at the terminal shortly.
You: STOP THE CAR NOW.
[ Wait, thats odd you think. What is that smell. Checking to see what scent your air freshener is in the car, you reach for it but notice that it isn β t there. You Remember back to this morning, when you told your self to wait and put it in after work. ]
Car: Sir, we are arriving at the terminal now. In the glove compartment you will find your passport, $ 4000 cash, a business class ticket on United, and a code for a locker in the airport.
You: Thank you for helping me out of this. When will my money be available?
Car: Sir, within 24 hours.
You: Fantastic.
( Exits car and walks into terminal. Checks in. gets through security with ease )
When you find the locker you see one of your small bags inside with a change of clothes and a phone charger. A note that reads, β the rest will be sent to your next location β. [ Where am I going once I land you think ] As you continue to read, it says, β your home in The US has been sold to the bank and a new home purchased in Sweden. It has been a pleasure serving you sir. β
You take the note, fold it and rip it 3 times and throw it in 3 different trash cans.
With your bag in hand, you board the plane. Take your seat⦠and are never heard of again.
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[ WP ] The Hero fights valiantly , but is struck down by his Nemesis .
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As a finally defeated man John could barely work up the energy to sit there in disgust with himself. His enemy, the enemy of all great men really, had finally defeated John. This was not only a loss, this was the final destruction of what little belief he had left in himself.
Growing up, John was n't quite like the other kids; he was different, special. The teachers and other students would just sit there in awe as he displayed his superhuman skills. There was never any support or admiration from his peers, only the acknowledgement of what John could put himself through. Even his parents were worried, or at the very least unimpressed, with his abilities. They would often tell him that his battle was one not worth fighting, that it would ultimately hurt him in the end.
The acknowledgement was enough for John, in his mind he was and always would be the hero in this story and he would learn to hone the gifts he had been given. The others just did could n't understand what it meant to have such power, to eliminate every adversary he had to encounter, to finish the job and push through to the next.
Alas, just as for so many others, defeat could not be evaded forever. For John that moment would also happen to be his birthday, April 6th, 2013.
As john matured, he learned to conceal his gift from the uninitiated. He managed to gain friends, and would only show his true power once he knew they could be trusted completely. These friends had arranged a surprise party for John on his birthday, and were all hidden in the corners of his living room, ready to pop out as John returned from work and opened the door.
Although well wishing, what Johns friends had brought with them was his demise. The one enemy he could not vanquish. There on the table was the terrible monstrosity.
As john opened the door and his friends jumped out, it was not the surprise that scared him, it was the pepperoni and cheese laden delight. Glistening with grease and promise, the fifty inch and aptly named `` Killer'' was a sight to behold. Crust so golden and delicious that even a casual patron of the gourmandic arts would be falling over themselves to get near.
`` Its all for you, buddy!'' Said Cam, John's closest friend.
Five hours later, the party had come to an end. The guests wished him `` Happy birthday!'' as they left, but their voices flew right by John. There were three slices of `` Killer'' left, the party had ended and there were still three slices left.
John, our hero and the Major League Eating and International Federation of Competitive Eating champion, was at the mercy of the za.
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[ WP ] You 're an agent of time , with a mission to send those deserving back to the past to restart their lives to right the wrongs in their lives . At a dive bar called Tempus you set your sights on your target and now need to convince him of your task .
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The bar was dimly lit, and a cool breeze ushered through its nooks and crannies as I opened the double doors. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I was able to make out a sea of people flowing freely throughout the establishment. Every once in a while, someone would get caught up in an unfavorable tide, and shoved back and forth roughly. It was for this reason navigating the bar would be difficult. Its sheer crowdedness had two drawbacks: firstly I had to find my target among all the unfamiliar faces, and secondly, I would be unable to move freely throughout the joint. Overall, the situation was quite a favorable one. I would have no difficulty finding a target who was not trying to hide, and there were no apparent dangers in the bar; besides the small chance for a fight. I had completed much more difficult missions in the past.
My target was one John Doe, as they all were. He was born in 2006 and had created one of the largest tech companies of all time. However, through various acts of god and fate, his empire crumbled leaving him nothing. The higher ups β thought it unfair that a man who had brought so much to the world, would be reduced to having so little. It was for that reason I was to send him back. He would go back with the knowledge of his future, and thus make decisions to prevent his stocks from crashing, or his wife from leaving him, etc. He would have a second chance to change things that went wrong. I had no doubt in my mind that this man deserved better; there was just one problem. This man was not a typical John Doe. I knew his real name, Frederick Jacques. In my seven years as an ambassador to the timeline I had never known such a high profile person to be rewritten. If someone of great importance was sent back in time, they could change history. Without Frederick β s improvements to microchips and energy consumption, life would be a lot worse for many. Was it worth risking the wellbeing of millions for the happiness of one? Nonetheless, it was not my decision to make. I would carry out my mission as always and see the consequences later. More than that, I would live the consequences. If something ever was changed, there was no way of knowing. The reason for that was, if something changes in the past it creates a new future, the present always makes sense. Thus, a momentary change in the past is but a piece of history in the future; which to my knowledge always was, and always will be.
It took me fifteen minutes to find Frederick. He was sitting alone at the counter and putting back drink after drink. He looked a defeated man, and I tried not to pity him. β Frederick, may I have a word. β He turned sullenly to face me, and nodded slowly. His cautious eyes drifted over my being, but his posture made it clear he was in a listening mood. β I am an agent of time. I have the ability to send you back to rewrite your mistakes, would you like that opportunity? β Frederick laughed, then he smiled. β Yes. β This was an atypical reaction, but I remained calm. β Are you sure, don β t you want to hear more? I can tell you how this is possible, I can prove I β m not crazy. β Frederick sighed. β I know the truth when I hear it, I don β t need your explanations. β He stood and shoved his way out of the bar, I followed. β What β s your name son? β
β I am not permitted to say. β
β Well not permitted, it β s nice to meet you. I β m Frederick Jacques, as you clearly know. What you might not know is that I β ve been researching time travel for years now, I didn β t think it was possible, but if you claim you have the technology, let β s give it a go. β
I could sense a quiet genius about Frederick. It was clear he was done talking, from his perspective if nothing happened, he merely wasted five minutes, and he didn β t care about that. I brought him to a dark alley and activated the device.
I was so excited for my first day of work. Time travel was a science I had always taken a keen interest in, and finally now I β d have the chance to be a part of something bigger. I opened the double doors to the huge enterprise and stepped inside.
β My name is Roger Williams, I am the newly hired agent. β
β It β s nice to meet you Roger, I β ll be your boss, but I hope I can also be your friend. Please, call me Frederick. β
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[ WP ] After a long series of brutal wars with a large number of participants , a truce is called and the leader convene . They have been fighting so long , the world does n't know why they are fighting anymore .
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`` Alright! We've called a truce and set aside our differences for the time being in order to cease this foolish bloodshed!'' A young man shouts from the top of a small hill to a gathered crowd.
`` Everyone will have an opportunity to air their grievances. Hopefully we can settle this maturely and peace can once again reign over these lands!'' the young man continued.
`` First, we'll hear from Red, Please air your grievances.''
`` Thank you Tommy.'' Red said as he stood next to Tommy on top of the small hill. `` My mom said that Alfie's mom called her because Alfie told her that I beat him up! I was spanked with the wooden spoon! As per the rules of the playground, I intend to give Alfie an atomic wedgie and demand that Alfies friends do n't get in my way!'' Red boomed over the group standing below the pitchers' mound in the otherwise empty baseball field.
Tommy located Alfie in the crowd and boomed `` Alfie, you have been accused of tattling. You may take this chance to respond or accept your wedgie!''
Alfie stepped upon the mound standing on the opposite side of Tommy from Red, taking a deep breath from his inhaler before shouting `` Red pushed me off my bike, called me four-eyes and then kicked my shin. The only reason I said anything was because my mom saw the blood from my scraped knee!''
The crowd whispered in a disapproving tone.
`` Jeff told me that Linda said that you were telling her that I smell bad!'' Shouted Red.
`` Jeffery, is this true?'' Tommy yelled into the crowd unsure where Jeff was.
`` Yes'' Jeff hollered back from the crowd.
`` No it's not true! I did n't tell Jeff anything about what Alfie said'' A second voice called from the crowd. `` Jeff is lying!''
The crowd gasped and all turned to see Linda wearing a grey hoodie standing in the back!
`` Get out of here Linda! This is for boys only!'' Tommy yelled as the crowed booed at Linda.
`` Fine, but Jeff's a liar!'' Linda cried back before stomping off to the benches where the other girls sat and watched.
`` See!'' Alfie said to Tommy holding his elbow and pointing at Linda as she walked away.
`` Red,'' Tommy questioned `` do you still wish to accuse Alfie of telling Linda that you smell bad?''
`` I guess not.'' Red said, hanging his head in shame. `` I'm sorry I pushed you off your bike and kicked you, Alfie.''
`` I'm sorry I told on you, Red.'' Alfie replied.
`` Alfie, I hereby exonerate you. You shall remain unwedgied!'' Tommy proclaimed.
A hushed but puzzled murmur echoed through the crowd.
`` Exonerate means I'm letting Alfie go without punishment.'' Tommy clarified.
The crowd clapped quietly.
`` Red, do you have any other grievances.'' Tommy asked.
`` Yes, Jeff said Alfie was getting the twins, Jeremy and Sam together so they could beat me up! Me, Mark and Bubba got in a fight with them that Tuesday after school.'' Red shouted confidently to the crowd.
`` Jeff said that Red, Mark and Bubba were gon na beat me up after school on that Tuesday. So I asked the twins and Jeremy to see if the three of them wanted to hang out with me and Sam after school. That way Red would n't be able to fight me.'' Alfie countered.
`` I'm beginning to see a pattern here!'' Tommy exclaimed. `` Jeff's trying to make a run for it! Get him!''
The crowd chased down Jeff and piled on top of him holding him down.
`` Jeff, I find you guilty of getting Red to pick on Alfie, do you have anything to say before we punish you?'' Tommy asked, standing tall above all the other boys dogpiled on top of Jeff.
Jeff just breathed deeply while all the other kids on top of him down.
The crowd looked at Tommy.
`` I sentence you to two indian burns and a wet willie!'' Tommy announced, turning away as Jeff squealed.
Tommy returned to the pitcher's mound, followed by the crowd. Jeff picked himself up and dusted himself off, wiped his ear and rubbed his left arm on his way back to joining the crowd.
`` Gentlemen, I believe this meeting was a success. We were scheduled for a few more minutes, so if anyone has any suggestions before we call this meeting adjourned, speak now.'' Tommy bellowed.
Quietly and slowly, Bubba began to chant. `` Red and Linda sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G.''
`` I do not!'' Shouted Red, but it was too late, the crowd of boys in the field and the girls watching from the benches had already joined in the chant.
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[ CW ] A 15 sentence story about finding love in the darkest of places .
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The pain blinded me, muscles screaming, flesh tearing, hot blood running over my cold skin.
I struggled to breathe, to catch my breath, to brace myself against the onslaught ripping me apart.
For a moment, it stopped and there was silence.
And then it came again, relentless in the frigid night air.
I screamed, unable to contain the agony inside me.
I felt ashamed at my inability to control my body as muscles fought against the pain, sending me into an involuntary convulsion.
My blood warmed the air, creating a slight fog in the chill air.
One more time, the pain overtook me, and then, it was over.
A strange calm came over me, I could hear nature, birds, crickets, a breeze in the trees.
And the cry of a newborn baby.
I fumbled in the dark, drawing the small body close to mine.
Suddenly all of the pain left my body.
The terror that clouded my vision faded away as I looked into the eyes of the newborn babyβ¦my baby.
I didn β t hear the sirens as the emergency vehicles arrived, nor did I hear the sound of the equipment as they fought to extract me from the wreckage.
As I slipped away into darkness, I saw his eyes staring into mine one final time, and I knew he would be OK.
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[ WP ] You have a magic power to show a person a vision of what their life would be like without you . To date , every person you 've used the power on has never spoken to you again .
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I sighed at the pile of dishes in the sink, watching them stain the water a dirty, muddy pink. I thought the dinner had been going so well. We were talking, laughing. But as soon as I broached the subject of moving in together, everything changed. How quickly the smile had faded and the light had gone out of her eyes.
She just didn β t think it was time yet.
I tried to reason with her. I mean, we had been together for almost 6 months and neither of us were getting any younger. Wasn β t she happy? Didn β t she love me?
β Of course I love you, Teddy, β she had said, but her fingers twirled her napkin into a tighter and tighter spiral
I had to do it. I had to show her. There was no other way.
β Please Teddy, don β t be mad. β
β I β m not mad, I just need you to look at this. β
I guided her to the couch and took a deep breath as the TV screen flickered to life. Her own face blinked back at her. I could hear her breath get stuck in her throat.
β This is your life without me, β I whispered. β You don β t want that, right? β
I waited for an answer, but none came. She was transfixed by the screen, watching herself walk out of a cafΓ©, watching herself grocery shopping, watching herself pass through her meaningless existence. A future of nothingness.
But just like all the others, it hadn β t been enough. And here I was doing the dishes alone.
I gasped as the knife I had been cleaning slipped and bright red droplets appeared on my index finger. I grabbed a towel and pressed it to the cut, watching the redness soak into the yellow plaid pattern.
A knock on the door distracted me from looking for a bandage. I smiled as I imagined her apologizing, realizing her mistake. But as I opened the door I was barrelled backwards into the wall. A strong pair of hands grabbed me and turned me, roughly pressing my cheek against the drywall and pinning me so I could barely breathe.
β Where are they?! β a voice screamed at me.
I could hear two more people run into the apartment and start racing through the rooms.
β Where are they?? β The man β s elbow dug into my back and I could feel spit on my cheek as he screamed.
β All clear, sir, β came another voice from the kitchen, but I did find this. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a knife held in a gloved hand, the blade shiny with blood. β There was spatter on the floor and around the sink too. Looks like he was cleaning up. β
β I cut myself washing the dishes, β I tried to mumble, my hand still clutching the bloodstained towel and my cut finger pulsing with dull pain.
β Sir, I think you β d better come take a look at thisβ¦ β A female voice floated towards us from the living room. The pressure on my neck and back decreased a little as the man behind me turned around. I gasped for air while I could.
β What is it? β He turned me around and pushed me toward his colleague. β Get this guy into cuffs. β
β Yes, sir. β
The tall, skinny policeman started rummaging around his waist. It must be one of his first days on the job judging by the look of panic and the acne on his cheeks. His wrists stuck out of the uniform, like they hadn β t been able to find one in his size.
β What the fuck is this? What am I watching? β
The guy holding me craned his neck to see past me and started pushing me forward, cuffs momentarily forgotten.
They were staring at my visions of the future, all the DVDs neatly piled up in my TV cupboard.
β It looks like surveillance, sir. Hours and hours from the looks of it. And the names match, sir. All the victims are here. Andβ¦ β the woman β s voice cracked. β There are some here that we β ve never heard of. β
The first guy, the one that had pinned me to the wall, turned around, not even bothering to hide his look of disgust.
β Where did you put them, Edward? β He took a step towards me. β What did you do when you got tired of watching them? β
The question hung in the air for a few moments.
β I only showed them, β I said quietly. β I showed them what their lives would be like without me. It was their choice. β
I looked down at the bloody dishcloth in my hands.
β They didn β t choose me. β
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[ WP ] Hi ! I 'm the main character ! Or so you would have me be . I want you to know that no matter what you write , I refuse to be the main character in your little game and will avoid any instance where you try to put me into a situation that does so .
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I put the flamethrower down and kick the ashes of the last zombie.
There's a barely dressed busty redhead sobbing, clinging to me and calling me a hero. I already know what happens next: I will kiss her, she will kiss me, and we will go for a clean place to mate like dogs in heat. Then, tomorrow or some other day, something will happen to her. She will be in danger and I will have to rescue her, saving the world in the way and becoming stronger, more decided, more unlike me.
And then she'll die.
That's what happened to the last ten of them, at least. Nothing new under the son. I know I'm supposed to love them, but after a while they all seem the same.
No. I do n't want this. I let go of her and walk on my way. My shadows goes ahead of me. There's dust in the wind, a fresh breeze that moves my hair, and a sun-bathed path that might lead anywhere. The perfect setting for another adventure, that I do n't want.
Why does it have to be like this? Why am I forbidden to stay in any place, to live the tranquil life I've always wanted? I've lost count of the many times that I've tried to do it, but almost like a dark force guiding my life to an heroic path, always something happens that throws me back in the blood and fights and glory, and I've had enough of that for a lifetime.
The woman stands behind, shocked and sobbing again. She needs me. But I do n't need her or want her, and it will be better for her to stay away from me. Maybe then she can find the peace that I ca n't find.
Another step. A small stone upturns and shows a mirrorlike face with a strange inscription. No matter how fast I run, my fate will find me. So I pick the stone, I know in time I will find its meaning.
I sigh again. There's not a happy ending behind me, just a trail of unwanted victories. But maybe ahead of me, at the end of this, I will finally be allowed to rest. I cling to that hope.
And I walk.
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[ WP ] Halfway through your flight the pilot makes an announcement . `` Would all passengers please close their windows . There is no reason to be alarmed . ''
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I awoke to a flight attendant leaning over me. She pulled my window cover down, stood up and moved away without explanation. I yawned and stretched up to see over the seat before me and watched her lean over another solitary sleeping passenger a few rows forward, sliding their window cover closed as well. Then she disappeared behind the partition to first class.
I did n't notice that everyone was deathly quiet at first. There was no inane chatter or crisps being opened or any other noises I was used to on a flight. I saw people leaning in to each to speak in whispers. Everyone's blinds were drawn.
The man in front of me, a portly guy, moved around in his seat to face his window. I saw him through the gap between chairs sliding his shade open a crack and peeking outside. The woman sitting next to him, his wife I assumed, bent at the waist to glimpse out as well.
`` Oh my God.'' She uttered. The man snapped the cover closed and slowly turned to her. He said nothing.
I looked to my own blind. I reached for it and opened it an inch, hesitated, then went another inch. I bent to see. There was water below us. I hunched a little more, and saw the coastline of California. Everything was tiny being so far away, but it looked normal enough. Though it was getting smaller, was n't it? I realised we were moving in the wrong direction. Away from Cali. Away from America. I looked about the cabin again, still holding my blind open. Were we diverted? The woman in front of me began to sob.
I checked outside again, confused; the coast was still receding. I slid the window open entirely. I needed to see properly. And I did. There in the distance coming from deep within California was a single plume of smoke. It resembled a mushroom cloud. It dawned on me as I stared, mouth slack. It *was* a mushroom cloud. It was slowly changing, becoming a gargantuan smokey wall and losing its iconic form. The sky above it was a perfectly blue halo, the true clouds forced away by the shock wave.
I could n't believe it. My nose touched the glass.
Then a flash like a camera filled my vision. I recoiled from my window and pressed my fingertips to my eyelids. No darkness. Bright light pulsed in my retinas.
`` Help,'' I said to anyone, just as the plain rocked with violent turbulence and a noise like lightning filled my ears. I was jolted forward and my face smashed against the back of the seat in front. Someone screamed. Someone else screamed. The cracking noise rippled on, fading. My eyes began to sting and then burn and water.
The plain still shuddered but less forcefully. I heard smashing; luggage falling out of overhead compartments.
`` This is your captain speaking,'' the intercom came to life. `` All passengers please keep your windows closed. Please stay calm, do not be alarmed.'' And then he was quiet.
The people began shout. *Another one! Our families! Our homes. Those poor people. What was that? We're being attacked, oh my Good! It ca n't be, it ca n't be. * They all spoke at once.
`` Help!'' I called out beneath the rising cacophony. `` My eyes! Help me!'' My face throbbed. The burning in my eyes intense, nauseating. I was blind. All I could see was white.
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[ WP ] At the age of 18 , everyone is required to take a general intelligence test . Failing the test is justification for death , or the remaining time of your life into intensive labor . Today is your 18th birthday .
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It ca n't be that hard... I just have to pick a door. One of three doors in this large, steel room. I have 30 minutes to make a choice, a choice that will determine the rest of my life, however short it may be.
As I study the doors, I ca n't help but notice that there is no discernible difference in either. They're all the same size, shape, and even the door handles are all aligned identically. How would I ever make this decision. Fact is, there's no way to know what door leads where.
I've only used probably two minutes of my time, should I use more? What's the point? What could I possibly learn in the remaining 28 minutes?
Screw it, I'm going with the middle door, surely it does n't matter.
As I open the door, I'm amazed by the lack of effort it takes to swing this massive, stainless steel door open. There's no resistance. As I step over the threshold I realize that I've passed the test. I walk in to a room filled with luxury. Sweets to everyone's taste, supple leather couches as white as I had ever seen. The curtains were a rich, yellowish brown velvet. They felt softer and richer than anything I had ever touched before. The walls were lined with large pieces of wood, stained to a dark brown colour, trimmed with exquisite craftsmanship. This was an impressive place.
I sat down on the couch, stretched out to the table and began to eat some of the most fantastic chocolates ever laid before me. This was the height of life and luxury.
Again, I begin to look around the room and I am engorged in the decadence of it all. I notice a flat screen TV. Something that I had only ever heard of in the labour camp where my father worked. I fumbled with it for a moment, not knowing how to even turn it on. I feel a large button at the rear of the television, and I switch it on.
`` Welcome to Utopia; the place where you will find everything you have ever desired''. There was a little moving story on the screen showing the buildings, the architecture, festivals, music, food, everything a young man could want. I was amazed. I sat glued to that television for what felt like an eternity. I learned about the founding fathers of Utopia, the rich history, culture, and all that we had accomplished as a superior race to the one before us.
As the video came to an end, I heard another door open and in walked the lady from the television. She looked at me and was quite clearly disgusted. I did n't know why... I had passed the test, had n't I? As she began to speak to me, her shrill voice sent shivers down my spine, her words rang in my head, and still do to this day.
`` You had great potential. No one realizes that the first choice is in consequential within the first five minutes. Boys and girls stare at the doors hoping for a clue for their whole time, wasting away to nothing. We teach you that time is precious and not to waste it. You knew that right away, and you made your choice''.
I was n't sure what to say. I did n't know how to answer. Instead, I dropped my head in shame. I still did n't know why.
`` Then you came in to the second room. The final room of the test.''
I perked up at this point. The final room? It was n't just the first room? Oh no, what had I done.
`` You saw luxury, you saw sweets, you saw a place that you wanted to be. But, you have n't worked for it. You have n't earned it. People who work in the camps have surely learned by now that nothing is free. Surely you know that you ca n't just get what you want for nothing. Now you will have to choose... labour or death. Please register with the assistant at the end of the hall, she will give you your ticket. I'm very disappointed''.
In that moment, I was ashamed. I was embarrassed, and I felt that I had let the lady down. I got caught up in living a lavish lifestyle. I had n't earned my way to a free life and fancy things.
Shall I rejoin my father in the mines? Or shall I end it now. I just do n't know...
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[ WP ] You are part of a group researching the potential effects of a zombie-like virus . While researching in the woods , you leave the container of the virus specimen in the tent for the day . When you come back , it 's gone .
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`` Well, I guess bringing a zombie virus into the woods was a pretty stupid Idea,'' I said to my research assistant Todd.
`` Yeah, we should have totally just never synthesized it, and if we really had to we should have kept in an extremely high tech lab,'' he responded, stating the obvious.
`` Well, no use spilling over cried milk!'' I said to him, mixing my words up but not wanting to backspace and fix it, `` Maybe we'll find it and some animal did n't take it and this story turns out really boring!'' I said hopefully.
`` Speakin' of the devil!'' He said, and though his usage of the phrase did n't make complete sense given the context I did n't care, he had found the missing virus!
`` Awesome!'' I replied, `` Now lets go return it to the lab and lock it up or destroy it completely!''
`` No zombie bears for us!'' He said as we walked off into the sunset.
/r/PsychoWritingPrompts
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[ WP ] This is your first day on the job as a `` voice in the head '' of a depressed person made possible through technology . You are an alternative to this person taking an antidepressant .
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β Good morning! Today is February fifth, two-thousand sixty one. The time is exactly seven o β clock in the morning. The weather today will be reaching a high of seventy five degrees Fahrenheit, with clear, sunny skies. Another beautiful day! Rise and shine! β
Despite Rebecca β s cheerful announcements, the woman β s chipper voice harmonizing in an excited tune, Irwin utterly refused to rise from his bed, instead halfheartedly tugging the comforter over his sprawled frame and cloaking himself entirely in darkness. Disappointed with her client β s failure to participate in the day β s activities, Rebecca frowned disapprovingly at her monitor, clicking her tongue worriedly against the roof of her mouth. β Come on, sleepyhead! β She crooned. β Get up, another bright, shining day! β
* β No, β * another voice sternly protested, its unwelcome interruption evoking a frustrated sigh from the agitated woman. * β Stay in bed. There β s nothing to do anyway, really, what β s the use of going outside? No one wants to see you, no one β s invited you anywhere or asked about you, and why should they? You β re useless to them, you β re worthless. You β re better off being left to rot, β * it grunted.
Rebecca scowled at the voice β s malicious insults, her blood heatedly boiling as the unfair taunts increased in their horrific intensity. This was the least favorite part of her job, having to manage the mocking voice of depression deafeningly resounding in her clients β heads, and each time the voice re-emerged from the darkness, she had to desperately repress the urge to scream into her headset.
β Irwin, β she comfortingly chirped, hoping her attempts at peacefully subduing the snarling voice of depression would be somewhat successful today. β You have many friends, and I am sure they β re very worried about you, β she reassured. β I β m sure they β re all wondering what you β re up to lately! Why don β t you get out of bed, get ready, and give them a call? They β ll be happy to hear from you! β She merrily proposed.
* β You β re going to bother them again, β * the voice snappily retorted. * β You β re a burden on them. If they wanted to talk to you, they would let you know, and guess what? They haven β t. They β re all sick of you. They don β t want you around them, they don β t need you here. You don β t need to be here, β * it venomously spat, the accusatory words causing a chill to climb Rebecca β s spine.
β People love you very much, Irwin, β Rebecca dutifully retaliated. β They love you, and they all care about you, so, so much. Remember when you were discharged from the hospital, and your parents decided to take you out to dinner that night, as a celebration for you getting better? Or, how about when Alyssa called you every day while you were on hold, asking about how you were? They all love you, so much. β
* β She β s lying! β * The voice screeched suddenly, the blood-curdling shriek startling Rebecca enough to nearly cause her to stumble out of her swivel chair, and attract the attention of her co-workers in the cubicles surrounding her, each of them perhaps too preoccupied with staving off the voices of depression from their own clients. * β She β s lying, that β s what everyone does! Everyone lies! They all hate you! No one loves you, no one needs you! You should have killed yourself! β *
Stunned into a shocked silence by the frightening eruption from the voice, Rebecca re-composed her frazzled temperament, clearing her throat as she observed the immobile Irwin on the monitor β s screen. He had not moved an inch, seemingly unaffected by the bickering in his head, and he, most likely, would not budge from his spot on the mattress for the entirety of the day.
Rebecca wearily sighed, comprehending that she, in this round, had been ultimately defeated by the conquering power of the detested voice. β It β s okay, Irwin, β she calmly soothed. β You don β t have to get up today, alright? We β ll try again tomorrow, when things are better. Tomorrow will be a better day. β
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[ WP ] Write the story you 've always wanted to read , no matter how ridiculous .
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If wishes were fishes...
A Disney Princesses genre Fanfiction
-- -
There is a term they call the omnipotent beings who watch over the multiverse.
Random. Omnipotent. Beings.
R.O.Bs.
They have, in the past decade, enjoyed a sport of plucking people from their worlds, flinging them into the narrative of a world that is fictional, and seeing what happens.
I did not know this at age 16.
This is the tale of the inter-dimensional war I took part in.
It begins with a forest. It ends in a city.
-- -
Have you ever tripped over a space where you thought there should be an object?
There I was, bright and chipper, ready to face the world, wandering over to the bathroom to get ready for the day when suddenly I overstepped into a void where there was no void before, and landed in a load of brambles.
This is clearly not going to be my day.
-- -
Getting up, and clambering through thorns and thistles in naught but my underwear, I emerged in a clearing.
Much cussing was done, and I was utterly confused.
I was bleeding profusely from both my legs, and my arms were covered in little scars that had already begun to scab and heal.
My underpants had multiple scratches through them. If I run in them they might just disintegrate due to the stresses where they're torn.
So, there I was, in the ( near ) buff, bleeding and confused, looking for leaves to cover my wounds with, when a young woman in a pre-industrial, high wealth dress barrelled into me from a dark patch of the forest, shrieking.
I landed in the brambles again.
*Yup. Not my day. *
At least I only landed on my back.
... ow.
-- -
After the initial collapse of my self, and the young woman sobbing on the ground, I coughed.
`` Oh!''
She looked at me in fear.
`` Where did you come from?''
I looked at her.
*No. *
*No. *
*NONONONONONO YOU ARE NOT DOING THIS THIS IS NOT... *
`` Your name would n't be Snow White, would it?''
`` Why... Yes. Why, do you know of me?''
*Okay think you clever bastard you've just somehow ended up in a Disney cartoon okay shit do n't panic do n't panic. *
`` Royalty reveals itself, m'lady. You bear traits familiar to those who research royal lines and seek to understand history's follies. I appear to be somewhat lost, however. And my clothes appear to be missing.''
*Shit where the fuck did that cover story come from argh*
`` Yes, I... uh... Can see that, kind sir.'' She blushed, and looked away.
*Ah, right. Pre modern ideas on what's decent. Fuck but I'm bleeding out here. *
`` I apologise for the impropriety, but may I tear off a bit of your dress to use as a dressing for my wounds? I would not ask but I would rather not bleed as much as I currently am in this... Rather dirty forest.''
* I swear a blue bird just glared at me in the undergrowth did a blue bird just glare at me what. *
`` Oh!'' She froze up, then immediately reached under her dress and puled out some linen.
*What. *
`` I used to keep a spare cloth for cleaning attached to the inside of my dresses just in case, that should do to cover your wounds, right, sir?''
`` Looks clean. Yes, that'll do, than you Miss White. Very ( suspiciously ) convenient, but thank you.''
I took a few seconds to work out where I was most hurt, and covered them up and applied pressure on them. I tried to pluck a few of the thorns stuck in me, but decided eh, they'll come off in the wash later if I can find a clean river somewhere.
Once I was happy I was n't necessarily going to bleed to death or get infection, i decided to get my bearings.
`` Okay, now that we are sorted on the injury front, why exactly where you running blindly through a wild forest, Princess? Surely you are n't allowed to move freely due to the political risks of your potential death ( such as by wild animals *glare briefly at the undergrowth*, bandits, monsters ) leaving the Kingdom without an heir...''
`` Well, it started off with my stepmother sending me out to pick some berries, and then a hunter came and said my mother wanted me dead, and then I ran when he said to run and then the forest was scary and then... Well, I fell into you.''
*Right, so that means I am her woodland animals because I got in the way of seeing sentient sapient animals for the first time. Shit. Thinking that I could take one home when this is over, spread intelligence to animals of my world... Ah, that'll be a job for later. *
`` I see. And where did you intend to run to?''
Eyes framed with really thick eyelashes batted more widely.
`` I... I do n't know.''
She started to cry.
I think at this point I was losing my temper. This little chit of a girl ( the canonical age was 12-15, probably, and she looks possibly towards the upper range of that due to the bodice making her look older. Also, crows feet. People aged QUICKLY in ye olden times ) ran away from her home on the hearsay of some random huntsman.
*Into a possibly dangerous forest. *
*In a world that has magic in it, and is pretty blatant about it, perhaps. The dyes for her technicolour clothing could not have come cheaply by mundane means. There are SENTIENT SAPIENT ( if unable to speak ) animals. *
*She was lucky she was n't in a Dungeons and Dragons setting. She would be dead by now in Eberron, nearly visible aura of innocence aside. *
`` Stop your crying girl. Better royals than you have fled their oppressive reigning parents and rallied forces to defend them and ultimately beat the evil ones, all starting without a plan. You are n't the first and you wo n't be the last. That said...''
I was scowling, but internally, I was wondering where the hell in my head I was bluffing all this from. I was making myself sound like a really old bastard.
`` Think before you take any action. There are consequences for everything you do. Suspicion and paranoia are your friends, because it's not paranoia if they really are to get you.... And you wo n't be alone. I can not guarantee that I am not an agent of your stepmother sent to kill you when you least expect it in a way you can be truly confident. But you clearly reauire assistance. And I admit, I am very lost and have very little else to do for now.''
*Plan emerged: seize magical texts. Grimhilde's lab must be mine. But must encourage her fall to clear the lab for my use. *
`` That's... Not very comforting.''
`` There's few true comforts in this land outside the palacial life that you were scorned from experiencing to its full. Come. We have a long way to travel and I am not sure of the way.''
`` Where are we going?''
`` There is a cottage of dwarves somewhere deep in this forest. Forgotten by normal folk, and they forgotten their roots, they are good folk, if isolated, and hold no love for your stepmother.''
`` Why?''
`` They fear magic.''
`` MAGIC?''
`` Your stepmother has terrific powers. And I mean that as in they beget terror. She has abused her abilities for her own vain goals, and she has become a pale shadow of her true potential.''
`` What do you mean?''
`` Magic is powerful. It is also dangerously easy to become reliant on. However, magic provides shortcuts to things mortal mundane folk can not normally obtain. It can be used as a tool to hasten the development of one's lands. It can be a weapon. And in your stepmother's case.. It is a political maneuvere.'who would defy the fairest and most beautiful queen in the lands' as if beauty matters for a dictatorship. She could be so much more if she put her mind to it.''
*Do n't call out my bullshit do n't call out my bullshit I just want to find the dwarves because they are all kinds of awesome and righteously badass and not as... Sickly sweet. And disgustingly ignorant of the ways of cynicism and paranoia. As you. *
Paranoia is necessary to rule without needing to sell off hats. Cynicism is necessary to pick apart foolish plans.
Optimism and trust ( *and please let pixie dust be a thing I want flying archers* ) have its place.
But that place is not now.
We walked the rest of the way in silence. I supposed Snow White was thinking on my words.
*This could be interesting. *
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[ WP ] Your body is frozen into cryogenic sleep but for some reason your brain stays awake . 8 years later your ship arrives at the destination and the rest of the crew wakes up .
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Normally the brain is the last thing to wake up, and I'm experiencing the reason why right now. You know that pins and needles sensation you get when some part of your body that fell asleep starts getting bloodflow again? That's my whole body, right now, multiplied by the thousands of hours I've been frozen. The earliest cryonics experiments discovered this, and since then conciousness has always been restored last. They probably think the pain is why I'm screaming. It is n't.
I bet they wish it was still standard procedure to strap the patient to the table, because as I begin to regain body control I start to thrash violently. I throw myself off the table well before I have full control, and start clumsily trying to move. I knock over as much as possible in the process, making as big a show as possible. I imagine it looks like a zombie having a seizure. It's certainly creating the right impression, as the cryotechs are all retreating fearfully.
They think all of this is an uncontrolled reaction, or the result of having been driven mad. But it's all a carefully calculated act, the result of years of planning the best way to get what I so desperately want. Thankfully, one of them is on the ball enough to remember the correct procedure, even if it's almost never needed. It's actually surprisingly easy to incapacitate me, and I stop fighting well before the needle enters my skin.
Finally, blissfully, I fall asleep.
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[ WP ] You 're chewing bubble gum . You blow a bubble . It keeps growing . It wo n't pop .
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I angrily tore out the page, crumpling it at no discretion, and pitched the sketch into the forest that lay before me. The combination of my bad arm and a sudden gust of wind landed the paper ball frustratingly close to my feet. Feeling defeated, I flopped back into the grass only to land my head on a bare patch that was filled with tiny pebbles. I should have drawn inside.
The sketch was n't that bad. Actually, it was pretty good by the standards my teacher had set for me but it was n't what I wanted. Everyone was rather impressed with the sketches I drew. I loved zooming in. I could take the tiniest stretch on, say, a tree and magnify it in my drawings to expose the minutest of details. Each little notch in the strands of bark, the tiny bugs roving around, the chips and tears from rough weather. There was so much my classmates missed when they drew an entire branch or, oh gosh, the whole tree in a drawing of the same size. I could only draw so much detail and I only drew a few inches of a branch! But to each his own style, right?
Wrong. I had finally decided to expand my skill set and try drawing on a larger scale. Everyone says to dream big and so I dreamed big. I dreamed of drawing the whole forest in a single drawing. Even thinking of it now prods the butterflies in my stomach and yet tickles the goosebumps up my spine. It had been slow progress expanding and zooming out in my work. Baby steps, no β baby inches. Finally, I had worked my way up to drawing the entirety of a branch from my favorite tree. My latest sketch, however, had been me regressing and drawing just the area around the part of the branch that jutted from the main trunk.
The process was slow and unsteady. I had a bad tendency to lapse back into drawing a smaller area just because it was readily available right there, in front of my eyes, just a few feet or a few inches away. Right there. Even with my throbbing headache and the sun trying and succeeding to glare past my eyelids, I could imagine details β live them even. The sun would be casting little spikes of shadows along the mountain range of nicks and scratches in the bark. Little insects passing through the valleys of indentures. The gust of wind blowing off loose particles from the wood. A completely new scene. The prospect of a fresh drawing of the same old spot on my favorite tree.
Stop it.
I instantly shot up and tried to clear my head of the ideas rushing together, conjoining quickly, building the image, tempting my hand to pencil to paper. It was almost like an incessant need to draw the tiny, probably insignificant details when I wanted to draw more, not less, draw bigger, not smaller. I had a goal and even though it went against my style, skills, and even nature as an artist, I was going to accomplish what I set out to do. And I knew how to do it.
I chuckled. Even I would n't be able to stop myself from achieving this.
I started to walk back towards my house, mentally checking the schedule for today to make sure my father would be away right now. My father was very good at inventing odd things and I remembered him leaving a batch of his newest edible creation on the kitchen counter this morning. I guess you could call it chewing gum. It did n't look very pleasant, being a dull gray color, but my father is known for keeping looks modest. This particular gum had the attribute of growing forever after you chewed it and started to blow a bubble. The first thought that raced through my head when my father showed our family this gum was how it could make the world's largest balloon. Bigger than hot air balloons and even blimps.
Entering the kitchen straight from the back door, I made a beeline for the rope stashed in a closet next to the door. I'd been dieing to try this out and what better cause was there? Oh, crap. Scooping a bit of the gum into my palm, I burst through the back door, dashing for the where I had forgotten my sketchbook in the excitement.
It was too late. I suppose thinking about how I would defeat my own artistic nature riled up mother nature into taking away my sketchbook. I could only make out a few scattered pages in the open field between my house and the forest. Most of them blank. The rest of them torn to shreds.
I sucked in some air and took a deep breath. And then another. And another. I would have to mourn my loss later. Right now, I need to focus on the excitement and the sheer idea of accomplishing my goals. Oh, how amazing that would be. Having drawn the whole forest on a single sheet of paper, only 5.5x8.5 inches big. To have stepped that far outside my comfort zone and not only survived, but thrived. I had lost my sketchbook but I had another waiting underneath my bed at home. Only, I could n't go home now. Father would be home soon and coming home with my hands still full of this gum would ban my outdoor drawing privileges for the month. Not to mention missing this shot. No, it'd be okay to just take it all in for now and go back and draw the scene later. I could draw from memory.
I licked and picked off the gum from my hand and started chewing, squirming at the disgusting taste. I did n't even think to ask my father what he put into the gum to make it grow forever. The rope was ready to go, my fingers waiting for the signal. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and blew a bubble. Only a tiny one though, mind you, that's all it took. I quickly took the gum out of my mouth and watched the bubble continue to expand in my hands, growing into a golf ball and then a baseball and then a basketball. Quickly, coming to my senses, I wrapped the rope around the stump of the bubble, making sure it was tight enough to support my weight. Holding onto the rope, I waited.
My feet left the earth. A rush of excitement and fear all melted into thrill. And hope. I kept my eyes peeled wide open as the gum-balloon lifted me higher into the open air. The horizon of trees came into view. I could pick out my favorite tree and then I could n't. It all became meshed into the forest. Instead, I could see the forest. All of it was there as it stretched on and on. And it stood still.
Static. Nothing moved. Yes, it was great and vast and amazing but nothing moved. The details were n't there β the part of the forest that made it special. Being able to see one segment of a tree and then imagining that the whole branch, the whole tree, the whole forest was that detailed. That all of these little things happened simultaneously, ceaselessly, endlessly everywhere.
It did n't take much work to slap together a few lines and shapes to resemble a forest and you could capture, to some degree, the essence of the vastness very quickly. What I had been doing was taking the time to slow down and stare and take in just that one little piece. Just that one bit of a branch on a tree in a forest. And it was amazing. Special, at least to me.
I became confused and started questioning myself. Did I have to push myself so hard and go through so much stress and frustration for something I did n't like? What had I been trying to accomplish with forcing myself to do something I did n't like? Why was I forcing myself into something at all?
I let go.
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[ WP ] A young boy returns home from school . The boy finds that his parents do n't recognize him and an unfamiliar child has taken his place .
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The day my life started, I mean actually started was a Tuesday. The bus dropped me off on the corner, I waved by to Stacey and Phillip and made the walk through the alley into the back door of the house. The door was unlocked, which was unusual.
Walking into the kitchen for the snacks that always waited and I hear voices, even weird they were my parents voices, and another kid. One of my friends?
Enter the kitchen and say `` hi, what's going''
My mom replies, but not to me, to the mystery kid. `` Is this one of your friends sweety? You did n't say anyone was coming over today?''
`` Never seen her.''
`` Mom, why do you mean, it's me, Hillary!''
The worst part was how she just stared at me. Never taking her eyes off me and trying to keep calm but freaking out underneath that smile like Id see her do with dad's family all the time.
`` Hillary, did your mom or dad drop you off or do you live nearby?''
`` DAD! Tell mom it's me, my rooms upstairs!''
`` Darling, just tell us your moms number and will straighten this out.''
That ass, I just walked on his back for 20 minutes yesterday trying to get a kink out for him!
`` Mom, Dad, this is n't funny! I just got off the bus like I did every day!''
I really did n't like the way the new kid kept looking, not at me. Never at me, at my toes, the ceiling fan, the fridge. But never at me. I'd had enough, I sprinted outside to get some air!
Men in suits? Did someone die?
`` Excuse me miss, can we speak with you a second?''
Two of them came towards me, instantly I felt the hairs on my back rise.
`` Umm.... I have to get home. My parents are expec.... ``
`` Miss, we both know they are n't expecting you. Now please come with us and we wo n't need to cause any pain.''
`` What? Who are you, what's going on....''
Then total darkness and the smell of brand new fabric, I could almost taste how new it was. And strong hands hoisting me up, into a door.
*wham*
`` OW!! Wha...''
*whack*
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[ WP ] Every lie you tell spawns a corresponding truth in another universe . One lie in particular has snowballed into something so momentous , that an envoy is sent from that universe to confront you .
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I wake up to the loud banging at my door. I look over to my alarm clock and it's 2 in the God damn morning.
`` Nobodies fucking here!'' I yell in hopes they go away. I curse to myself as the knocking now gets louder and more frequent.
`` Who the hell could it be this early in the morning?'' I grumble as I shuffle our of bed.
I open the door and I swear to you this wack job had at least three different kinds of glasses on, a deepest purple jacket I have ever seen and a fucking kilt.
`` What the fuck d-.''
I get cut off as kilt man barges right past me and makes him self comfortable on my couch.
`` My name is Ranberry Faliszek, and you sir have have messed up big time.'' Kilt man says without breaking stride. `` We have been monitoring you for a very long time Mr. Gabe.'' He picks up his green bifocal looking glasses and puts them on. `` Oh yes'' he says as he turns to me with a smile `` we know exactly who you ate and what you have been doing.''
Fuck. I start to panic wondering what this weird guy is talking about.
`` Your lies'' he continues, `` have a stage power Mr. Gabe. You see, the lies you say here actually become truth on other universes.''
My previous panic vanishes instantly and a new one arises as I remember I just let a complete lunatic into my house.
`` I did expect that reaction Mr. Gabe,'' he says as he switches over to his binocular type glasses.'' Remember that lie you told mother on the third grade that you did and will do the dishes forever?''
The previous panic starts to arise again as it was only my mother and I there when I said it.
`` Well in another universe they rejoice as they never have to wash dishes again! They are always cleaned!'' He exclaimed.
`` How about the time you told your Megan you could swim but really could n't during spring break in highschool?''
Now I needed to sit down as kilt man fires off lies I have said in public and in private. It begins to scare me not only because he knows of all my lies but the fact that I am starting to believe they change other universes.
`` Why are you telling me this'' I finally being myself to ask.
`` I am here because one of your lies has done something we have not foreseen and it is causing quite the problem.'' He says as his mood starts to darken. `` Last week you had said'I am going to kill myself'. This is off course not true because you are sitting here today.'' He mood takes a sharp turn for the worse as he springs up and starts pacing. `` Mr. Gabe we thought nothing of it when we first heard you say it. It was a grave mistake on our part. It was only a few at first but then it started spreading rapidly.'' Hating the pronoun fans I ask him what he was talking about.
`` They are killing themselves Mr. Gabe. Not a few of them, but all of them. We have never seen a lie affect me that one universe before.'' He turns to me with sorrowful eyes and continues, `` it may even come to here.''
The gravity of what he was saying shook me on a way I have never felt before. `` What do you need me to do?'' I ask.
`` Mr. Gabe this is of the utmost importance. It may seem unfair to ask you to do this, but Mr.Gabe I need you to make that lie into truth.''
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[ WP ] After surviving an electric shock , you discover that you now have the ability to send and recieve signals to all electronic devices . How will you use your newfound gift ?
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Raymond once again visualised a text coming up on his iPhone.
The text popped up from the top of the screen.
It read'_I'm Raymond_.'
`` Wow, I sent myself a text. Awesomesauce-''
`` who the heck says'Awesomesauce' anymore?''
Nevermind. Raymond opened the car and got out, the left door instantly unlocking by power of will.
A man passed him. The man was wearing a fedora that was tipped down slightly, covering his face.
A fur coat sat on the man's back, and under it Raymond noticed a tuxedo, a shirt and tie, accompanied with smart grey trousers and laced brown shoes.
_No one dresses this smart in Virginia unless they're looking to get robbed or mugged._
Raymond reached for the gun, and the man slowed his pace to reach for a phone.
`` **FREEZE! **'' Raymond shouted while moving 3 feet near the man.
`` Take anything you want, just do n't hurt me. Name's Mike.''
_Mike... well, no room for friends in **my** life, but worth a try._
_Maybe this guy will just walk away, to avoid trouble. After all I'm pretty busy tonight. It **is** 8pm already... _
`` Mike, huh? Nice - but not nice - I'm Raymond.''
`` Enough talking already. The first mistake you made was giving me your name and showing your face.''
`` Well, I have the power of Electrokinesis. I _could_ just give you a heart attack.''
`` Or you could let me go if I pay you or help you out.''
`` I'm not merciful, Mike Jones.''
`` **Yo, how the FUCK do you know my name?! **''
`` I saw your name-tag. Plus you were meant to question me _once_ more before the loss of your _feeble life_.
Mike hastily jerked his body to the right and produced a taser. Before Raymond could react, a loud _zztt_ noise filled the air and his chest started to spark and rise and fall.
Then they both knew instantly that Raymond was n't human.
`` You're a ROBOT!''
`` I think the term you're looking for is...''
...
...
``... **Cyborg. **''
***And Raymond instantly knew his story was n't yet finished. ***
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[ PI ] Seafoam - FirstChapter - 3099 Words
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I really liked the world you created for this story! Your descriptions were detailed and compelling. I felt like I was right there in the story, your descriptions were on point!!
One thing I would suggest is introducing more conflict in the first chapter. From this intro, I ca n't really tell what the overarching plot of the story is going to be. That is n't necessarily a bad thing, but I think the first chapter would have drawn me in more successfully if there had been some conflict driving its plot, instead of a `` normal day'' scenario.
Nice job! The descriptions of your world and your writing were beautifully done.
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[ OT ] Sunday Free Write : Leave A Story , Leave A Comment - P.T . Barnum Edition !
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Captain Falcon was stunned.
`` F-falco... why would you vote yourself? Why? WHY?!''
Falco, who was looking down, could only mutter. `` I missed him... Fox... I'm sorry.''
King Dedede, could n't form coherent words, but Captain Falcon only gripped his Trial Stand harder.
`` Even if we were in an alliance... I still missed him. I wish the Falcons could've stayed, but...''
This was completely unlike Falco, who was normally cocky and uncaring.The gears whirled, and the curtains opened up.
The chain clamp jerked Falco down the pillared hallway by his neck, then dragged him into a hatch. No one was fast enough to get him back.
The video screen in the room flickered to life, showing Falco inside his Arwing.
Meanwhile, Falco knew that it was his Arwing. The seat, the controls, everything.
But he could n't control it. It was speeding forward, and then it began barrel rolling. At this point, it began spiralling out of the air, Falco screaming all the way.
Meanwhile, the remaining four contestants saw Falco's Arwing fly up, shooting at enemy aircraft that had suddenly appeared.
It all happened so fast.
An aircraft shot the cockpit. The Arwing began spiralling down, onto the floor where the remaining 4 stood, hidden behind the glass shield.
It happened so quickly Captain Falcon missed it. He had been paying attention to the screen, which was showing Falco's incredibly distressed face.
The Arwing crashed on the ground, sending spinning pieces of debris everywhere. Falco was ejected out, and Falcon could only watch in horror as Falco's neck made contact against the glass.
His fellow Falcon, dead. It was a joke really, both of them had some sort of connotation with the bird, but they were still allies.
Falco reverted into his trophy form, and it was carried away.
***
Made off of [ this post. ] ( https: //www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/comments/3c4lhu/cw_produce_a_legitimate_story_in_all_caps/cssfl3c )
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[ WP ] A man lies on his deathbed , memories of his favorite videogames flashing before his eyes as he expires . Death watches , and intrigued , offers the man a deal if he can best him at his game of choice .
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It was to be to twenty-five. A battle decided by tight controls and ultimate weapons' balance, the game chosen the heighth of both: Halo Reach.
A sway of score back and forth, the climax reached with only minutes left -- tied with a single kill remaining.
Like a blue light of all hope, Mark came across and acquired the waiting Energy Sword, his heart filling as he realized he currently had Sprint equipped as well -- do not let your head become too big yet, dear Mark, but victory does appear to be ours.
Like a true climax, the two crossed paths atop the towering centerpiece, the massive Spire lending itself to be the final battleground.
The reticle went red.
Mark lunged.
Death armor-locked for the briefest of moments, and the follow-up melee attack was unavoidable.
`` YOU FUCKING WOULD!''
`` I FUCKING WOULD,'' Death agreed, and proceeded to damn Mark's soul for all eternity, as were the terms.
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[ WP ] You are a lonely god .
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It's a small bar nestled beneath an unnecessarily upscale restaurant. Small, dimly lit, and generally cozy it's the perfect place for me tonight. I do n't want debauchery... just to try drinking alone. It works for some humans so I might as well try it.
Tonight's appearance? A short wiry woman with red hair. Young with a mysterious ancientness I can never escape. Green eyes tonight, a bit clichΓ© I'm sure but I like them. Appropriately distantly interested. As far as how I'm dressed? A simple dress no one will quite remember the color of...
I make my way down the stairs, passing an older professorial human in all black. He has a happy glow. I envy him... I envy a human, truly a sad state of affairs. The doorman does n't bother asking for an ID, he thinks I'm a regular. Inside it's long and narrow with a small stage at the far end.
A rather eclectic looking bad appears to be tuning up as I sit at a barstool everyone thought was taken. The bartender knows to bring me a gin and tonic and leave me alone. It's... dusty. As perfect as humans are capable of making something.
So I drink and watch and drink as people shuffle in and out of the bar assuming that time has advanced. Eventually I even decide to be slightly drunk... then I see her. A lovely young woman with olive skin soulful brown eyes in a red dress makes her way on stage. An old man who'd been sitting at the end of the bar takes up position behind the piano so sorrowfully ignored by the previous act.
He plays. She sings. It's beautiful. She has my attention... and my plans for the night have suddenly changed.
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[ WP ] You are a Hard boiled , film noir detective on the hunt for the elusive man known only as 'Waldo ' .
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I guess I was pretty gutted when Janie left. Made me a shell of a man.
The self-doubt, inadequacies, blame... Torture of the mind the Quack says.
Anyways, getting the'Waldo' case was good. *Is* good. Gives me something else to think about, y'know?
The Quack disagrees though.
Says I'm using transference or something. Putting all of those emotions from Janie running off with that shmuck salesmen into the case. That subconsciously if *I* catch Waldo, I'll catch Janie and save my marriage.
I said to her,'look, two bodies I'd gladly see in the ground are Waldo, and the former missus Janie Odlaw'.
But then again, she's probably right. To a degree.
You see I've been chasing this bastard for about 10 years now. I've pissed on every case I had, caste aside anything else that came my way, all for this guy. The glory that would be catching the infamous *Waldo*.
See this ai n't no normal guy. For starters, you have to accept the fact that time travel is possible. You have to accept the fact that *wizards* are real, also that there are many other worlds. An' this guy, with his goddamn fucking cane, can access them. No one knows why...
But I think I do.
Waldo is real chummy with suspect number 1, the wizard. Now I've seen'em chatting away many times, then after a bit, they exchange *something*, say their goodbyes, and he waves the cane and leaves. In those moments the wizard turns on the spot and leaves himself. Leaving *me* with a few seconds to follow Waldo into that hole of his. You never know where you're gon na end up, or who else is following, but I bet you this, he is *delivering* something.
Why?
Cause he always meets someone in these worlds. He always seems to have an objective...
But the tables have turned this time. Because this time, I got something of his. Some people of his.
Last week Waldo, at 3:45pm met up with the broad he shares the dog with, suspects 2 and 3. They had coffee and whatever whatever. He left hurriedly, like he'd forgotten to be somewhere, or *sometime*.
I followed her back to her joint. Turns out she's called Wilma, turns out she's got a sister called Wenda, suspect 4. Turns out Waldo's been fuckin' both of'em. Turn's out so's the old man...
Now me being the man I am, driven to catch this bastard, devised a plan. Criminals are all about not getting caught. They keep alibis, appointments, fronts, they always have an excuse. But the mistake most of them always make, is having their excuse or alibi, be a person.
Now the pro of a person is that they're mouldable. You can confer with'em, build something. The con is that they're emotional.
I bet I look pretty smug sitting here. Wilma and Wenda are both sitting across from me fidgeting with their hands while we wait. See I left old Wally, what I like to call him, a note in his kitchen. It read that the sister's were captured etcetera I know about you and want to talk etcetera etcetera.
Why would he come? Well see, that's maybe where my Quack would really dig in her pencil and start scribbling notes. I'm tired ya see. I want this to be over. I've been chasing this perp so long I ca n't remember how I got the job in the beginning. Just a written letter came. No address, no signature, just said do the job and you'll be paid a weekly allowance. You'll know when it ends.
At first I was sceptical. But, after one week a cheque addressed to me, James Odlaw, for 300 dollars, came to my desk.
Anyways, the note. I wrote it with his dog's blood. I killed the mutt to show him I'm not mucking around.
And I *know* he'll come because he replied with a letter of his own. `` An' exchange of words are in order'' was all it said.
The intercom buzzed.
'Mr Odlaw?' Valerie asked. Valerie's my assistant.
'Yes, Val?'
'Two men are here to see you,' she said.
I told her to let'em in. Kicked back in my seat and took a sip of Jack's.
Waldo walked in first, followed by the Wizard. Both looked around the office, completely ignoring the girls.
'Well, well, well.' I said.'Where is fucking Waldo? Did ya see him? HaHAH! Fuck me boy! If you're not standing in front of me!'
Waldo looked at the girls then for the first time.
'What've you two said?' he inquired.
The broad Wenda went to speak, but her sister shut her up.
The wizard kept staring at me.
'Do you know who I am, son?' the Wizard asked.
'Yeah, sure. You're his old man lover. Besides fucking these here sisters, he's fuckin' you too!' I said.
Waldo smirked.
The Wizard's nostrils flared at that. He went to step forward but that Waldo freak stopped him.I kept sipping my Jack's.
'You sure are pedantic, James,' Waldo finally said.'You've been real interested in me for the last ten years. You think Janie would approve?'
How the fuck did he know about her?
'How do youβ'
'You think you can kill my dog, fuck with my people and business, and think I would n't do some of my *own* digging? So tell me,' he picked up the paper weight my son had made at school. Oh yeah, I got a kid with Janie too.'You think Fredrick still thinks about you? Has n't seen his old man for 10 years? 10, is about right, is n't it? You been busy. On a trail. Got a case too good to be true! Who put you onto it, though? Who pays you? Do you know?' he lent on his cane smiling.
'That, is none of my concern. I've just followed my orders,' I said.'I'm sure now that I've got you, whoever has had me on this chase willβ'
'And he has,' Waldo said. He produced a piece of paper and threw it onto my desk.'I've been writing those notes. Go on, open it up. See the proof. You've done well. Played your part, found some very interesting information for me. Information I could n't get,' he turned to the Wizard.'We, as you might've expected Odlaw, push drugs. We currently supply places in time and space with the best hallucinogens in the universe. But we've had some problems.'
'See I'm fucking these two, because they can get me ingredients from the chemists they both work at. I worked with bones here to learn my craft.'
I looked at the Wizard. He was n't moving. Now that I think about it, he had n't moved in a long time. His face looked as if it were straining to stay together.
'Yeah, that'll be the paralysis part of the tea I gave you, Wiz. Go on, fall down.'
And almost by command he fell down, dead. The two sisters shrieked, but Waldo grasped their shoulders. Digging in his muscular hands to induce them into submission.
'I wanted you to watch me to find any weak links that might arise. I also wanted you to watch me to keep tabs on anyone *involved* with me. All of them are sitting in this room. One is now dead.'
He said this with a smile as the girls whimpered under his grip.
I was stunned. What the fuck had just happened? In the space of mere minutes I went from pretty upbeat to... I do n't know what. Empty?
'See, I've wanted to leave this rock for a while, setup someplace else. That was the initial plan. But you've proven yourself quite handy, Odlaw.'
With that he snapped both the girls necks! They slithered out of their chairs onto the floor.
'I'm offering you a partnership. It's currently only you and me standing in this buildingβ'
'But Valerie's just outside?! She'llβ'
'Valerie is dead. I killed her as we came in. Sliruvian hunting darts from Universe 72. Silent but deadly, like a fart,' he laughed at his own joke.
I began to tremble. What was I involved in here. Who was this guy?
'Odlaw, this is the one and only time I will ask this,' Waldo began.'If you say yes, you will travel the universes with me and make more money than you've ever thought possible. You will snort, lick, skid, smoke, and fuck, your way across the universe. So, do you want to help me?'
He sat down in the spare seats, kicking his feet up on my desk, and produced a cigarette from his pocket.
'There's a distinct advantage to being a drug dealer that's hard to find,' he said.'Also, the fact that I do n't exist in which ever universe that is hunting me, is a big plus. But what about you? You still have n't looked inside the piece of paper, Odlaw. Have a looked. See if that helps you to decide.'
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[ WP ] You survive a brain transplant and now have a teenager 's body . Unfortunately , the law dictates that you have to go back to school .
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I was strapped cohesively to the board-like mattress. I struggled to get up, but the straps hurt me as I did so. I looked up to find myself face-to-face with a Glymph nurse. She looked very pretty - had purple arms, a symmetrical face with one big eyeball. I frowned. Something was wrong about this situation.
`` Whatβ¦happened?'' I managed to say, nearly choking on the breathing pipe in my mouth. I must sound like a retarded love-gawking lab-rat.
`` Pang, I'm so sorry. Your village was attacked⦠we managed to pull some survivors. You were one of them,'' she said. `` We fixed you with a brain transplant, but unfortunately you will have to live with a teenage body until it grows. Which means you will have to go to high school.''
The next day, they impossibly sent me to the school I went to 10 years ago. Everyone here was young, and I mean really young. Suffice to say, I was the only grown-up in the room.
`` Everyone, today we have a new student in our class. His name is Pang,'' the learning device said.
`` Heeelllooo, Pang!'' grinned a round green girl, with fangs in her teeth. A couple of robots buzzed their feed. I rolled my eyes. I hated introductions.
`` We will be learning about how to do open-heart-surgery, on a wood plant,'' it said.
`` Ewwww,'' said a boy, who had just farted a puff of gas.
I saw the e equation in my head. Before the learning device even spoke, I knew how to do the open-heart-surgery. I visualized myself taking the knife from the dissection board, and stabbing the wood plant to find the seed, to replace it with a new seed.
Before I knew it, the learning device had told everyone in the class what I just saw, in my brain. I spent the next minute, completing the task.
`` Done!'' I said.
`` Class, Pang says he is finished. Now let me check,'' the learning device placed its robotic clippers onto my finished product. `` And we have a winner!''
*Great*, I groaned. Now, not only was I in a teenager's body, but I had gained super-powers that made everyone in this school hate me even more than I hated myself.
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[ WP ] You have died . You come to in a rest stop bathroom and meet God .
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Oh, heya man. Would it be rude if I complimented you on your dick, because that is honestly pretty...? What? Hey, whatever, man, just trying to be neighborly.
Me? Ah, I'm just on my way from somewhere to somewhere else. You know how it is, dude, one minute you're cozy in bed, the next minute there's a warrant for you out in fifty states and five territories. Nice of you to ask though.
Nobody ever asks. Everyone sort of assumes you're, oh, what's the term... `` Good old Charlie Brown.'' Everyone assumes you're a lovable loser, you know? Lovable or not, loser or not. It's just a thing people do. I do n't know why, I never really gave it much thought.
HEY NOW BUDDY, I do n't swing that way. Zip it up and take it outside.
OH, is that so? Well I've got some Aesir and Vanir friends who might take issue with that description! Yes! What's that now? We were just having a friendly conversation in a restroom?
Well that's what I thought we were having. Good day sir.
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[ IP ] Battlemage
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The forest was docile as a lamb in the late hours of the night, but Raujand knew better than to be fooled by that. She stopped in a small clearing and looked out from beneath her heavy hood. Tall, thick trunks rose up all around her. Like silent sentinels they stood black and unmoving. Their branches struck out at odd angles jutting and carving their paths upward towards the moonless sky above. In the space between, a grey fog rose up off the forest floor in long wisps. All the world was still. All the world was silent.
Raujand was not alone.
From within her brown robes the sorcerous drew the hilt of the blade. She ran her free hand up the empty space above the hilt and a milky-white blade appeared. Long and sharp, the sword gleamed with an unnatural light in the dark wood. Holding the shimmering blade to the sky she cast its strange glow towards the shadows.
Before her eyes, the forest moved. Subtle at first, it appeared as though the trees began to shift. Then a single pair of eyes appeared. Pinpoints of red stared back from the darkness.
`` Reveal yourself.'' She spoke aloud to the creaking wood. The shadows shifted again and the sole pair became two, then three. Move shadows rose from the Earth and the three turned to six. The forest erupted with the sound the cracking wood and scrapping timbers. Clumps of dirt fell away from the shadows in thick thuds. Raujand turned the sword in her hands and the six pairs of eyes became twelve. The shadows moved to the edge of her blade's glow.
`` Spirits of Wormwood.'' She said addressing the eyes. `` Let me pass, my quarrel is not with you.''
The sound of cracking wood rose up from the shadows and Raujand furrowed her brow. If the forest could laugh this was the sound it would make. Like rubbing sticks together mixed with the thick choke of shifting dirt. It appeared that her passage through the wood would not be as simple as she had hoped. *A shame*, she thought.
The shadows drew closer and Raujand lowered her blade to her foes. They surrounded her, twelve to one. Tatters of moss hung from their thick arms leading down to fingers, sharpened like knives. With her free hand Raujand lowered her hood revealing a thick mop of straight blonde hair. Her brow was cut across by a tiara that came to a point between her eyes, just above the bridge of her nose.
`` Let me pass.'' She demanded again. The shadows held fast.
*Very well. * She thought.
`` Bring your fury dark spirits.''
The shadows enclosed her, step by step they moved in tandem with one another. Give them ten feet and they would be atop her. She shuddered at the thought of falling to their horrid claws.
Raujand threw her free hand out to the side with dramatic flare and a fire erupted in her palm. She felt the warmth in her hand, rolling the fire between her fingers. The spirit in front her struck first. Running at her with both arms flung wide. It meant to rend her in two with one savage strike. Raujand brought her hand forth and fire flew. The forest around lit up brightly for a moment as Raujand's fire took the first spirit. It fell in a pile of ash.
Then the others were on her. All eleven came at once, but Raujand was not so novice to fear superior numbers. She yelled out as she brought her sword around. The milky-white blade caught two and turned them aside. An arm flew off into the woods, writhing as it went. With her fire she lit two more aflame. They fell into more puddles of ash.
One got close, bringing a heavy hand down on top of her. Raujand stepped back watched the hand fall inches in front of her face. She drove her sword though its chest. The spirit turned and fell, tearing her sword from her hands. Now unarmed, Raujand threw her hands out and fire ignited in both. She brought them together in a clap and another monster fell to ash. Another spirit came close and with fire in her palms she shoved them through its face.
Raujand was the very spirit of rage. Her flame was hot and true and she felt her power flow through her like a warm river. She could go on like this for hours. Moments like these were when she felt truly alive. The fire of a good fight, the warmth of watching her foes fall one by one. The spirits had made a mistake in challenging her. A woman she may be, but weak she was not.
With another sharp clap more fire burst from her hands, slicing a spirit in half before sundering it to ashes. She turned to face another foe, but stumbled backwards as the beast rushed in close. Its skin made of bark smelt of pine and other Earthy flavors. It reached out with a wrapped its hand around her neck. In an instant the tables turned. Raujand's flames extinguished with a hiss and darkness fell over her. She stared at the monster with wide eyes, its two red dots gleamed with hatred. Suddenly her legs were ripped out from beneath her and Raujand crashed upon the Earth with a thud. Her lungs emptied in an instant and the sorcerous found herself gasping for air. The spirits hand closed tighter around her throat and the air caught in her throat. Dizziness over took her and Raujand felt herself slipping away.
Red eyes floated above her as the creatures closed in. She tried to reignite her flames, but the only desperation and fear filled her now. In the span of a few seconds her heart had gone from the peak of the highest tower to the lowest depths of the forest floor.
Raujand tried to scream, but with no air in her lungs all that came forth was a weak bubbling gurgle. The spirit above her rose a claw preparing to fall the final blow. She tried to reignite her flame again to no avail. Above the red eyes began to fade to black, she was slipping away. In another moment, she knew, she would be gone forever.
Then just before the darkness took her the world exploded in a bright blue light. The Spirits of Wyrmwood dissolved like sugar in water. When the blue faded and the forest fell back into its unchanging darkness, Raujand lay on the ground alone. Before she fell away completely Raujand felt inexplicably warm, as if the flame in her heart burned, except this heat came not from her, but from another.
A cloaked figure knelt over the sorcerous and placed a hand over her eyes. Raujand felt her body slip away and fall through the forest floor into the murky depths of unconsciousness.
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[ WP ] You 've been made immortal and join countless others as guardians of the world . The problem is that you have the worst job . What is your job ?
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The sound of visceral fluid and offal hit rhythmically on my mop as I slowly brush the bloodstains off a wall, the remains of last nights patrol. As a guardian, I expected better things to do than just clean up after the `` heroes''. I was destined for better things in life! Not cleaning gore and flesh to keep our operation secret. now that I'm immortal, I could be anything I want to be! I could quit, and teach how to fight, or maybe just walk dogs for a living, no other normal job would pay as much as this, but life would be good. No pesky Guardian fools to pick on me, no annoying drills in case of `` enemies'', please, even I know the only enemies the Guardians fight are themselves. Just peace and quiet for all of eternity. In fact, I could run away right now! Throw the broom away and let some other person clean this up! But those walls look awfully bloody... Maybe just put it off one more day.
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[ WP ] You are leading the first human expedition outside of our galaxy when you stumble upon humans in the next Galaxy wondering why you were in unknown space
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How long must a dream occur before it β s no longer a dream? She pondered this often in her unconscious mind; the land of meadows, of unending flowers of every variety; of a vast myriad of colors. It was her place of solace, which was slowly being ripped from her as a lightly discomforting sound went off slowly near her head; a calm, subtle, feminine voice spoke to her.
β Stasis chamber deactivated; welcome to Proximus 479 of the Andromeda Galaxy Captain Takashi. β
She grimaced in an annoyed state as her stasis pod unclamped its doors, opening her up to the cool atmosphere of her Terra Ship. Liana Takashi let a out a groggy grunt, scratching the scalp of her lengthy, wavy, black hair that poofed out like a Lion β s mane. Tiredly, she shuffled out of the sizable pod in her slightly oversized light blue, scrub like pajamas, β It β s been two weeks? β she queried her ship β s computer with a disheveled mumble.
β Affirmative Captain; it β s been precisely two weeks, four days, eight hours, and four minutes since your last awakening. β The computer replied with its programmed kind inflection.
β Hm, that makes thatβ¦.what, a month of interstellar travel? β
β Correct. β
She nodded with an impressed expression, β They weren β t lying about this new FTL technology; a one hundred thousand year old trip widdled down to a month; human innovation as its finest huh? β she grinned, making her way to her established quarters, β S-A-R-E unit, activate the other pods; I need my crew. β
β Please call me Sare Captain. β
Liana shrugged nonchalantly, β Okayβ¦.Sare, do that thing I just said. β
β Acknowledged, Stasis Chambers deactivating now. β
β Splendid! β She beamed, sifting through her closet to locate her change of clothes; a grey and white jumpsuit with the Earthan United symbol emblazoned in gold on the left side of her chest. She smiled proudly as she zipped it up; it was time for the big work; to conduct studies of the nearest solar system in the nearest galaxy that had the promise of life and settlement, Proximus 479. She made haste to the belly of her white, sky scraper sized ship, activating the command center with a few inputted codes, and let out a pleasured sigh as she took a sip of her first cup of coffee in two weeks, closing her eyes as she took in the beverage β s essence. She had spent too much time in her dreams, she thought, it was a pleasant time, but there seemed to be a rule against coffee in that realm.
β Ugh! β a voice echoed through the halls just outside the command center. Miles Daniels, her navigator, slovenly made his way onto the bridge; his clothes scraggily, his face disoriented, β I feel like I β ve been asleep for a hundred years, β he frowned.
β Nope, just thirty days, β Liana chuckled, β You β re lucky; I had to wake up two weeks in to check on the systems, try getting comfortable after that! β she teased, β but yea, you do look like hell Miles. β
β Ha, makes all this worthwhile huh? β he wearily grinned, taking his position just in front of Liana β s command chair and console, which was slightly elevated above him. He was quick to get to work, bringing the image of Proximus up on the viewing module. It was a stunning sight; Earth like in appearance, Saturn in sheer size; the land was made up of one gargantuan continent that wrapped around the world like a utility belt.
Liana took in the great sight with a heightened fascination, β THAT makes this all worthwhile, β she beamed in awe, β Let β s get some readings shall we? Launch our probes. β
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[ WP ] One day , you wake up to see that every other human in the world as disappeared . After some time surviving alone , you wake up to see that they have all returned and all behave as if nothing happened .
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God. Not again. I was *this* close! Why? Why wo n't it let me pass? I've done it right 1000 times. There is not a better way! Everyone wins this way!
What you're expecting of me is provide humans with self sustaining technologies so that our future is secured. I've done this. We've gone through all the options and potential scenarios literally trillions of times. We've ran the numbers for years! This is correct! Send me **now! **
These training exercises are going to kill be and that will be the end. You are endangering the existence of human kind by toying with me! Send me back now and let's fix this once and for all. We're down to the last 100,000 of us and we're running out of time goddamit.
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[ WP ] Every person reacts to one random object , which causes him/her to have extreme hallucinations , not unlike taking drugs . You discover yours in the worst possible situation .
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`` It's game seven of the NBA Finals, and I'm in the bathroom staring myself down the mirror. You have to be fucking kidding me. You are Michael Fucking Jordan, get your shit together.''
At least that's how I imagined it. I'm not really Michael Jordan, and I suck at basketball. Game Seven was really a job interview. It was n't my first rodeo. In fact, I knew exactly what would go on in the interview, so I'm not sure why I was nervous.
I had never been to Texas. As soon as I got off the plane it was exactly what I was n't expecting. There were no horses, and no strange men in cowboy hats to ride them. My girlfriend greeted me at the airport, which was nice. I still lived in Jersey, but she had to move for work, which was sucky.
We pulled up, she wished me luck and kissed me goodbye. I hopped out and frantically tried to remember everything about this company I gave absolutely 0 shits about. I had it down pat, at least down pat enough to seem like I give at least one shit.
I walked in and was greeted by the kind old man at the desk. If you've ever seen the Big Lebowski, picture the cowboy. Complete with cowboy hat and mustache, I was greeted with a `` Howdy Partner. Who ya here to see?''
`` I have an interview with a Mr. John Brawner, for 2:00 PM.'' The old cowboy, smiled a sly smile and said `` Oh you must be a good one then, Brawner usually saves the best interviews for the afternoon. Have a seat over there. There's a washroom to the left if you feel the need.''
*Great, this motherfucker is crazy. Saves the best interviews for the afternoon. Who the fuck does that? * I'm sorry, I swear when I get angry. Ca n't help it.
**BA-BANG BA-BANG BA-BANG**
Ho. Ly. What. The. Fucking. Fuck.
Three guys dressed as old school bandits just ran through the front door, each brandishing two pistols. The old man at the desk had calmly just shot all of them directly in the forehead. Strangest part? He did n't have a gun on him. Shot'em with finger-pistols. Fucking finger-pistols. FINGER-PISTOLS JUST MADE THREE DUDES HEADS EXPLODE.
Afterwards the old man had the nerve to wink at me and say `` Do n't say nothin' to Brawner. He'll get pissed off if he knows the bandits were back. Help me hide these here bad guys.''
They say love can drive a man to do crazy things. Just you wait until my girlfriend finds out I became an accessory to a finger-pistol triple murder so I could be close to her...
And that's when I realized it. A finger-pistol triple murder is fucking ridiculous. There's not a chance in hell that actually just occurred. It had to be more like `` Just wait until my girlfriend finds out I was trippin' ballzinis during this job interview.''
It's a strange thing to be tripping when you're not expecting it and suddenly become aware of it. I can only imagine the old cowboy's face when I picked up three imaginary bandits that had just been finger-pistoled to death and dragged them into the bathroom. He must think us northerners are batshit crazy. Hopefully he'd chalk it up as a nervous tick.
The interview room was like something out of a movie. There were all sorts of exotic taxidermies, including Bill Murray himself. Bill Fuckin' Murray, smilin' a big old smile, just hangin on this guy's wall. Nah. No way. I chalked that one up to the trip, and declined to mention anything to Brawner about it.
The interview went as any other interview would, with the exception of the constantly changing weather conditions in the office. At one point, it fucking snowed. I was more put off by the fact it was snowing in Texas than the fact that it was snowing inside.
I did my best to block out the hallucinations, but I had to have fucked up somewhere along the line. The worst part about not knowing when my trip started was not knowing when it would end.
I got in the car with my girlfriend after the interview, and unless she hit the lottery recently, I was definitely still tripping. She picked me up in a god damn McClaren. **A MCCLAREN. ** Definitely still tripping. After dinner, which was really more of a dialogue between myself and Steve, we went back to her place. Steve is obviously the lobster that I ordered, who happened to be a great conversationist. Steve knew everything there was to know about gold mining on mars. Truly fascinating guy, shame he had to get eaten. I told her that the interview and the flight really wore me out and that I had to get some sleep.
The trip had subsided by the time I woke up, thank god, and the next few days were wonderful! We explored Houston, drank copious amounts of alcohol, and ate copious amounts of food. By Wednesday, I had forgotten all about the trip-terview nightmare I had the previous Friday.
She decided to set up this romantic date riding horses in the country side. The guy we rented our horses from was an old school kinda guy. A *real* OG cowboy, cowboy hat and all. Seeing it brought me back to the lobby where the finger-pistol massacre occurred. I shook my head to sort of bring myself back down to reality. When I snapped back into it, the man with the cowboy hat had become a bandit! I quickly whipped out my finger pistol and blasted that motherfucker into the next dimension.
Then I realized it. The cowboy hat. Of all the items that could make a person's brain melt, mine was a fucking cowboy hat.
I'm sure that was a crazy fucking date I had. I got the call the next day saying that Brawner was so impressed, I had gotten the job AND a promotion from where I was in Jersey. I told my girlfriend I did n't get it, hopped on a plane back to Jersey, and hoped to God I never saw another cowboy hat again. The world can only handle so many finger-pistol massacres.
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( EU ) Earth 's mightiest heroes , The Avengers , have been deemed too much of a threat to the other realms . Only one duo can stop them , Ted from accounting and his sidekick John Cena .
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The Avengers stood at the Bifrost Bridge, more confused than anything. Just a moment ago, a middle aged, balding man who had clearly not exercised in several months had told them that they must leave this reality or face unimaginable pain. All he carried with him was a backpack. He went by the name Ted, he was an accountant.
`` What madness is this!'' Thor growled at the paunchy accountant.
`` It is simple really, the leaders of Earth, Asgard, and various other realms have decided that your group is more trouble than it is worth. I crunched the numbers for all the governments. Between the Hulk's rampages and the occasional Ultron level screw-up, the infrastructural fallout that occurs due to your existence far outweighs any economic benefit. Unfortunately, because I was the one to present the argument for your expulsion I was given the assignment to make you leave.''
Bruce Banner began to speak, `` Maybe we should listen to hi...''
`` Shut the fuck up Bruce! You're out of you're element.'' Stark immediately shouted over him.'' He continued, `` So lets say we decided not to leave, we are an unbeatable force. We have two of the world's greatest scientific minds, the world's greatest soldier, two top level assassins, some kind of warlock chick, and a super robot.''
Captain America looked a bit annoyed at Stark. `` Also the Falcon.'' Stark sighed, `` whatever he does.''
Stark continued, `` Faced with these supremely powerful beings, what force could you possibly bring to bear to make use feel this'unimaginable pain'.''
At this Ted began to laugh. It was a strange, off-putting laugh, unexpectedly shill and uncomfortably short. The kind that would make you think it was a sympathy laugh if not for the sheer social dysfunction of the person laughing. This was the laugh of an accountant.
`` True, your assembled group is the strongest AT THIS MOMENT. However, I have at my disposal a force that can be anywhere, anytime, as long as it is unexpected.''
Ted produced a trumpet from his backpack and played four catchy notes. After that, nothing happened, just when the avengers were about to rush Ted, all of their phones went off.
Ted explained with the same pompous pleasure of an accountant explaining profit margins, `` The problem with being such good people is that you all have loved ones, all of which can be used against you.''
On each person's phone was a picture of their loved ones tied to a chair. Pepper Potts, Jane Foster, and everyone else's loved ones seemed to be trapped in a room filled with explosives. The only common person in every image was one man, John Cena.''
Ted played the four notes again, and quite unexpectedly John Cena appeared in front of the avengers. Now the overly muscled man spoke to Earth's champions.
`` The bomb is set to go off in another location. Your options are to leave now or watch your loved ones die. There is no other option.''
The Avengers looked at each other, and realizing they were beaten, one by one entered the Bifrost for an unknown destination.
As the last of the Avengers departed, John Cena turned to Ted. `` Ted, you realize that when you were given this job people only expected failure. How did you think of something so terrible to make the Avengers leave.
Ted once again gave that awkward, uncomfortable laugh. `` I'm an accountant John, I looked at the probabilities and saw what would most likely work.''
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[ WP ] You have recently discovered that whenever you die you wake up in your 3 year old body on the date of your 3rd birthday .
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I ca n't remember the first time that I died.
Hi, my name is Jacob Black. Or has been for as long as I can remember. I have a superpower, namely, when I die - suicide or murder or death by old age - I wind up in my baby body, and start over again. Not surprisingly, I remember details from my previous lives. I know everything about my parents, Jillian- the girl next door and my wife in many of my lives, and the rest of the people living in the small town of Jacksonville.
I tried to make my life better, but there is only so much you can do. I have found that my life follows on some broad lines. For example, I never make it past the normal jobs, have the same people from the neighborhood, love the same woman. I tried to cheat by saving my money and burying it under plank-boards, but I never find it. I also read the latest technological developments and also latest discoveries in science, but I never remember them. So basically, I live the same life and lose the all mine loved ones over and over again - my mother mostly dies from cancer, my children never survive long, Jillian is never the same after. I have killed myself numerous times to escape this fate of my loved ones, but I always end up back here..... I always come back.
So if you are reading this, please do not try to resuscitate me. I have enough power for my cryogenic suspension and my **happy'' `` normal'' Earth simulation** to last an eternity. I just hope not to be born again. *I do n't want to go back. *
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[ WP ] With the discovery of alternate dimensions , a jury of peers can now only consist of alternate versions of the defendant and plaintiff .
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> *'' - from what some are already calling the trial of the century. If you're just joining us, Jerry Seidel is reporting live from Justice Hall. Hi Jerry, do you have news for us? `` *
`` Hi Sarah - it's been a busy day here at Central Justice! I'm here with Dr. Arja Laito, of Utah Law-702. Now, we ca n't interview Dr. Laito live on camera, of course, they're very particular about that over in you-seven-oh-two, but she's agreed to take part in a little impromptu Q & A session. I'll be relaying her answers directly to you and to our viewers at home and I'll be translating to English on the fly. That's alright, Dr. Laito?
Wonderful, thank you. Now, Dr. Laito would you like to open with- ah, certainly. Now, the expression'jury of your peers' was, historically, mostly wishful thinking. A great ideal, but one you could never really achieve. After all, every human being has their own history, their own moral standards, their own soul; you can look for superficial similarities at best. Now, with the discovery of timeline permeability-''
> *'' Hah! Sorry to interject, but I think you might be losing our viewers, Jerry. `` *
`` Well, Sarah, to make a long story short, and as I'm certain our viewers know, we're now looking for alternate versions of the defendant and the plaintiff to use as jurors whenever possible. The ones not simultaneously charged with the same crime, that is. Now, the number of jurors can vary from case to case, since some people exist in more realities than others, and some mostly exist in non-peering realities. And that's exactly what makes this trial so special. Apparently Mr. Doe, the accused is... what did you call it, Dr. Laito?
Ah, yes, thank you. Mr. Doe - name changed to protect his identity - Mr. Doe is a... a cosmic keystone. That's a term from seven-oh-two, of course; we'd probably just say he's... well, Sarah, he's astoundlingly **common. **''
> *'' That does n't sound like a nice thing to say, Jerry. `` *
`` Hah, well, let me assure you, Sarah... it's pretty amazing to see in action. The number of jurors is creeping towards the triple digits as we speak. We ca n't show live footage of course, but there's even - well, the identities of the jurors are a secret, but - can we get some archival footage on screen? Thanks. Dr. Laito called this to my attention. Here, if you look back over the footage of the opening statement... there at the back, right next to the usher, the man with the shaved head and the eyepiece? Seems our Mr. Doe even has a living counterpart over on Eighty-Eight!''
> *'' Ooh, I certainly would n't want to be in his shoes right now. `` *
`` Very tough on crime indeed. Now, recess is about to end and the court session is about to resume, but we'll certainly be following this case further. Dr. Laito, thank you for your assistance, and back to you, Sarah.''
> *'' Thank you, that was Jerry Seidel reporting live from the trial of the century over at Justice Central. While the substance found in posession of John Doe-249 is illegal in less than forty percent of peering justice systems, the presence of a juror from 88 and several more from the 400s might just complicate things for Mr. Doe. More after these messages from our sponsors. `` *
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[ OT ] At the present moment , 22 of the 25 threads on the front page of /r/WritingPrompts are for genre fiction ( specifically sci-fi/fantasy or horror ) . This is not uncommon . Does this matter to anyone else ?
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Has anyone read the essay arguing that Ender's Game is `` pornography'', in the sense that it cares more about repeatedly satisfying the reader's desires ( `` fetishes'' ) for wish-fulfillment and self-pity than about a more deeply satisfying plot?
Well, I do n't agree with it. What might be valid points are greatly exaggerated as they apply to that book; the plot is not that bad, and the themes it gets at hardly as trivial as suggested. Speaking as a frequent reader, however, that may not be the case for the short shorts that usually get written here.
Of course, this sub is for practice and learning, so it's only to be expected, and fitting much substance into that length is *hard*; but if I were to judge top responses on pure literary quality, I'd only very rarely find something interesting enough to keep me coming back. In lieu of that, in practice I get interested by ideas: the combination of the interestingness of the prompts themselves and whatever additional elements responders add to create a fresh feeling setting. I want to think about the worlds they created more than I care about the actual events they're recounting. To some extent, this is a factor in the appeal of all genre fiction to me, but in this format I find it much more significant. So that's one desire: to feel entranced, if only a little, by a world. If you add wish fulfillment on top, so much the better... surely near everyone reading the constant superpower prompts imagines a little the protagonist as thenselves?
Though the current state of affairs is not the only possible one. If the mods managed to focus people on reality fiction a little and thereby set the bar a little higher, it might be interesting to see how writers adapt.
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Write a humour story about a very sad event [ WP ]
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It was a warm and unusually bright September morning, and the calls of Seagulls broke against the cliffs above the roaring voice of the sea itself. The usually dour and windswept headland however was calm above the boiling ocean, as if nature itself could n't decide what to wear.
The troop of 4 stumble precariously over the rocky path, stepping deliberately through the coarse foliage clinging to the ground, before stopping next to a weathered old bench. The oldest of them, a woman holding a dull and lifeless urn, steps forward.
'If you do n't mind, I'd like to say a few words' She says. The others squint in her direction, and mumble their approval.
'Frank loved this place. I think it spoke to him, and reminded him of growing up himself. Maybe it made him feel young, I do n't know, but he loved it. We would sometimes sit here for hours, cowls pulled up with a crossword and a thermos flask full of coffee.'
'We dragged you kids here too, I'm sure you all remember. I ca n't count the number of times my heart left my body when I pictured you tumbling over the edge. You two were always fighting, but your dad would just say you were boys, and you'd grow out of it. I guess he was right.'
Two of the number smile slightly them, and glance at one another. They eye the cliff, and each silently wonder what their parents had been playing at letting boisterous children run around up here. The oldest child just smiles at her brothers, they always were a pair.
'Still, I guess there's some irony in it. After all that, it's your father going over the edge.'
She grabs a tissue from the inside of her pocket, and dabs her eyes.
'Goodbye Frank.'
She steps to the edge then, and mildly hearing the soft farewells from her three children, she opens the urn, and with only a moments hesitation, turns it upside down.
Before the ashes have left the jar however, the wind picks up with some of its usual gusto, blowing the ashes directly back into the mourning family. Black ash and soot sting into the eyes and mouths of the four, as they erupt into a chorus of spitting, squinting hunchbacks.
The sounds are broken by the youngest boy, who shouts above a sudden chuckle.
'Fucking hell dad you stubborn dickhead, you ca n't even be a helpful corpse!'
As one they glance at him, before laughter fills the cliff-side as the wind rests itself, as one they turn silent, smiles still plastered on their faces.
The other son speaks.
'Do you remember the time he climbed to the top diving board in that place in Germany, he jumped off, instantly regretted it and managed to catch himself. How long was he hanging on for mum?'
The old lady grins again.
'About 5 minutes, they had to call the lifeguard in the end to coax him into letting go. I always maintained your dad only did it on the off-chance the nice chap would give him mouth to mouth!'
They stand for awhile, smiling at each, eyes linking across the suddenly still air when finally the daughter breaks the silence.
'Shall we go then? I do n't wan na rush things, but I could murder a tea. Besides which, I could use a dump, I'm touching cloth here!'
They stumble back across the rocky ground then, pausing only to laugh as a Seagull drops his guts on the mother ('He must have been touching cloth too!' ). They each are glad the day is over, nobody looks forward to scattering the ashes of a loved one. They do n't get to spend much time together anymore though, and even though he is n't there, it is nice to feel like a family again.
As they make their way back to the car their words softly echo back to the bench. On the bench an almost empty urn lies resting, staring out to sea.
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[ WP ] You 're the first explorer of the world 's deepest cave . When you turn on your flashlight , you see dinosaur bones ... and a concrete sidewalk .
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It becomes unbearably hot as I make my way down the underground sidewalk. Heat waves shimmer off the pavement in front of me, and I see a glimmer of light at the end of the sidewalk. The light grows as I walk, and the sidewalk ends at the top of a massive staircase, exposing a vista of an underground city before me. The ground glows red from the molten core of the Earth, lighting up some decidedly *reptilian* silhouettes. It occurs to me that I should go back, but they've seen me.
A lithe, glimmering dinosaur snakes its way up the staircase toward me, and I brandish my flashlight, the only remotely weapon-worthy thing I carried with me into the cave. The dinosaur stops before me, towering over me and peering down at me. To my astonishment, it speaks.
`` Are you the last human?'' There's no way this reptile knows English, but I understand its words anyway, as if the meanings have permeated through my skull into my brain. There's a constant, soft glow of light in the dinosaur's eyes, and I realize that whatever dinosaurs used to be, they have evolved into something else, something that is biding time down here.
`` How can I understand your language?'' I dodge the question, not sure what its motives are. If it decides to be antagonistic, I will most certainly be toast, because there's no way my flashlight can fend off razor sharp claws.
`` Psychic transmittal,'' the dinosaur says, and I focus more on its words, feeling a strange echoing sensation in my mind. `` Humans have not evolved that far yet, I assume.''
`` We do n't know you're down here. And no, we are unable to do anything remotely psychic,'' I say, belatedly realizing that now, I've answered its question. The dinosaur tenses, sitting back on its hind legs.
`` So the human plague still thrives,'' it says, and I feel a chill. I want desperately to run, but I know it would catch me in an instant.
`` Why are you down here? What are you?'' I look past the dinosaur at the city again, which is as expansive as any city I'd seen on Earth's surface. In fact, the architecture looks even more streamlined, and it looks like a future city out of a science fiction novel.
`` We are the descendants of the survivors of the comet disaster, who fled underground when the disaster was imminent. When they returned, however, the Earth had been taken over by a plague - humans.'' The dinosaur pauses. `` I fear that there will be nothing left when humans cease to be. The explorers we have sent up the sidewalk tell us how you have ravaged the planet. And the last one died. Your species is becoming too powerful.''
`` You could decimate us, you know. You're so much bigger than us,'' I say, finding it difficult to wrap my head around everything the dinosaur has said. The longer I talk, though, the longer I stay alive.
`` We know of your weaponry. One nuclear detonation, and our species goes extinct. We do not trust you, so we wait,'' the dinosaur says, and I ca n't think of anything to say in response to that. Finally, I speak again.
`` I'll leave, and I'll tell no one. But it is not the right time for you to come above ground. Humans have overpopulated the Earth.'' *Please, let me go. *
`` We can not allow you to leave, knowing what you know. If you leave, it is my duty to kill you,'' the dinosaur says, almost sounding regretful. I began to panic, and my drive to stay alive became stronger than anything else at this point.
`` Take me with you, then?''
The dinosaur blinks in surprise.
`` You will likely die down here, too.''
`` But not for a while yet. And you have me at your mercy.'' Maybe, someday, I could sneak back here and escape. But not right now.
`` Come with me, then.'' The dinosaur beckons with its tail, guiding me down the immense stone staircase.
Taking a deep breath, I step into the city of dinosaurs.
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[ WP ] A man hands you a credit card , pulls out a pistol , and shoots himself . You look down just in time to see the name on the card change to yours .
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I did n't know what to do, I just stood their staring at the card. The man did n't even say anything, I did n't know his name, he was a complete stranger and now his corpse was lying in front of me. A pool of blood crawled over to my feet, and that's when I ran. It was probably 3-4 blocks until I stopped running to call 911 at the nearest payphone, I could've used my cellphone but I was n't thinking clearly. `` Hello? I need help, a man just shot himself right in front of me!'' I could n't quite make out what the operated said, my ears were still ringing from the gunshot but I assumed the police where coming. I then sat there on the sidewalk and noticed the people gathering around the man down the street on their phones; probably calling 911 too. I then realized that the credit card was still in my hand. Was this why the man shot himself? Am I destined for the same fate? I still could n't tell how the card somehow changed from the mans name to mine. It kind of just flashed within a split second and BOOM Tom Fletcher printed on the front. I look up only to see a policemen walking towards me. I quickly put the card in my back pocket as I stood up. I needed to find out more, until then, no one can know.
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[ WP ] Before the Earth is created , the angels hold an election in order to decide who among them will become the creator . The top two candidates are angels named Lucifer and Adonai . They are now preparing for their final debate .
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`` Do we need a better answer on Ignorance?'' asked Zaezel, checking his watch. Five minutes to kickoff.
`` Our answer is fine,'' grunted the Candidate. `` It's too late for a new answer anyway.''
`` You do n't know that!'' answered Zaezel. `` Lucifer's been hitting you on Free Will and Forbidden Knowledge for weeks. Galthas says we could pick up as much as six points among undecideds if we lock this issue up tonight, and that's a game-changer.''
`` Six points? I had no idea,'' smirked the Candidate. `` This tie has been camera tested?''
`` Yes,'' said Zaezel, `` but you should wear the pin with it. The red apple pin to match the tie.'' Zaezel ran through his checklist one more time. ``'Archangel Adonai, you've come out strongly in favor of retribution. Tell me, what is the value to society of inflicting suffering on those who have caused suffering?''
``'First, let me thank you for asking me that question.''' started the Candidate. ``'My answer is this: in an ever-changing universe, there is no grand ledger keeping track of profits and loss. Whether there is a benefit or a cost is beside the point, because the *critical issue* is righteousness. If man is to be made in my image, than vengeance is mine and mine alone for crimes against myself.'''
`` Good, then you just avoid deterrence, or else Lucifer will go the social science route.'' Zaezel nervously checked his watch. `` We've got to get to the stage, sir.''
Adonai gave himself one last look in the mirror. `` This is the last job I'll ever have. It's a big responsibility.'' He fixed the apple pin to his lapel, turned, and walked out to the stage.
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[ WP ] One day people 's spirit animals appear and they turn out to be first generation Pokemon . You are happy with your Charmander , since most got a Magikarp . Your significant other , who has never seen Pokemon , calls and is very excited about their `` blue-eyed , pink , floating cat-like thing '' .
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I pause for a moment, as I double-check my memory. Been awhile since I actually looked up gen 1 pokemon. If there were ever a time to study up, it'd have been now, but whatever.
`` That....'' I paused for a moment, and thought about it.
Mew, pokemon # 151, the most adoreable floating fetus you've ever seen, though since the origional sprites they've been making it into a cute psychic cat-fox thing. Generally depcted as a childlike, kind soul, somehwat mischevious, able to do crazy magic/psychic things for fun and games. Like if Loki were a puppy.
Then I thought about her.
Smart, clever, good with technology ( God knows she's better than I am ), happy to learn anything the world throws at her. She's funny and sociable, always making me keep a semblance of a social life for my own good when I'm too willing to tuck away in a hole, so long as she shares it with me. She carries an air of excitement and love with her, love of people, love of discovery, love of *life*.
Yeah, I think that all fits pretty well.
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[ WP ] throughout your entire life , a slightly older version of yourself has randomly showed up and punched you in the face . You are now 30 years old , and when you arrive home from work , your 50 year old self is sitting on your bed waiting for you .
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**30: ** `` Oh my God, what is it this time? Was it the homeless guy?''
**50: ** `` No its-''
**30: ** `` Because he smelled really bad and I only had a fiver on me so...''
**50: ** `` It's not the homeless guy!''
**30: ** `` Good. Why did n't you say so?''
**50: ** `` Oh my God I forgot how much of a piss taker I was''
**30: ** `` Wait... is that grey I see?''
**50: ** `` Yes, it happens when you get to my age''
**30: ** `` Oh my God I have *grey hairs* at 32?!''
**50: ** `` No no no, I'm a bit older than usual this time. You're looking at yourself
in twenty years''
**30: ** `` Well fuck me! I look alright for an old feller! Is everything all good-''
**50: ** `` Oh here we go...''
**30: ** ``... Down there?''
**50: ** `` Yes, everything is just fine. No complaints''
**30: ** `` Well that's a relief! It's just you look like the type of guy who has a bit
of trouble getting a Dwayne `` The Rock'' Johnson; if you know what I
mean...''
**50: ** `` Unfortunately, I always know what you mean''
**30: ** `` I mean look at your clothes man, you look like Dad! And I mean during
his golf phase when he always wore those polo shorts with the
undersized trousers''
**50: ** `` Look we're not here to talk about me alright, we're here to talk about
you''
**30: ** `` Okay Mr. Tight Pants''
**50: ** `` ( grunts ) Okay, so you know Karen?''
**30: ** `` Yeah what about her?''
**50: ** `` Well, she's leaving soon''
**30: ** `` And?''
**50: ** `` Well, you need to go with her''
**30: ** `` Wait what? Why would I go with her?''
**50: ** `` Because you're meant to be with her''
**30: ** `` Hold on a second... the girl I fucked in the office disabled
toilets last week is my soulmate now?''
**50: ** `` I know how it sounds but this time it's different. She's not like the
others''
**30: ** `` I swear, you do this every couple of years and every time it's complete'
bullshit. You'd think a future version of myself would know what he's
talking about''
**50: ** `` This time is different. If you do n't listen to me, it will be the single
biggest regret of your life''
**30: ** `` No, you're just having a mid-life crisis, wondering what might have
been with a girl you barely know''
**50: ** `` Shut it! Just shut up with all the bullshit for a second! I know you do n't
enjoy it. I know how exhausted it makes you, always keeping that guard
up, laughing away anything that could possibly hurt you. I know it
better than you, I did it for fifty years! I pushed her away because I was
terrified that if she left me, I'd have nothing. And so I just kept doing
the same thing, over, and over, and over, and over again for years. Stuck
in a perpetual state of immaturity and cowardice, until yesterday...
**30: ** ``... What happened yesterday?''
**50: ** `` A young man came to my door, crying. His mother had passed away
just a few days ago and he did n't know where else to go, so he tracked
down the only family he knew he had left. His father, you. See, things
between me and Karen did n't end well, and she never contacted me
after she left. She never got married, never got to pursue her dreams
because all of her waking hours were dedicated to making sure this
boy's future was brighter than hers! She needed someone there with
her, to help her through all of this shit! And it should have been us! They
were all alone! He had to deal with her sickness all by himself for years! No man
should have to go through that... Especially not at his age. But you have the chance to be better! You can still love her, you can give the kid a father. You *need* to grow up, because if you continue all of this selfish, childish shit, in twenty years you're going to be right back where we are now, lonely and ashamed, wishing more than anything that you could grab her hand and let her know that everything will be better''
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[ WP ] After having been bitten during an Alaskan cruise , at every full moon you transform into a werewalrus .
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The night started completely normal. Record low temperatures for September forecasted. That night it was expected to get below freezing. I got dressed in a nice monkey suit; you know tie and button down. I sent a text to the girl of my dreams.
`` Cant wait 2 see u at Brunella's 2nite!'' She texted back with, `` Me 2!'' I could n't believe that I had gotten the girl of my dreams, short, brunette. She's an avocado, the right kind of fat. How did I pick her up with that line?
I drive to Brunella's. I walk in and tell the hostess, `` Reservation for two, Steil.'' She guides me to my table. I sit down and, I'm asked what I want to drink. I asked for the for the first wine I saw on the menu. Shortly after, it's brought to me.
She walks in. Oh my. She was so beautiful. She came in wearing a red dress and walked in so elegantly. She sat down, and the waiter asked what she wanted to drink, she asked for some French thing that was incomprehensible.
When we were ready, our orders were taken. I again asked for the first thing that I saw that looked good. When our food was brought to us, I started to feel, *off*. A way that I had n't felt before, but I just brushed it off. I did n't feel sick. I started the conversation mentioning an Alaskan cruise that was cut short for me because of an infected walrus bite. The date was actually going really well. She seemed interested in what I had to say, and well, nothing could sound uninteresting with her silky sweet voice.
Once we were both done stuffing our faces, the waiter comes by once again. This time not to refill our drinks, but to ask if we wanted the check. We both agreed, and continued our conversation of common interests.
For some reason, I do n't know why but for some reason. I decided to look out the window that our table was situated next to. I noticed the beauty of the full moon reflected off of the placid lake that Brunella's was next to. I look up a little bit and see the silver disc hanging in the sky.
I thought little about that moon often, but every once in a while when I did, I was always filled with awe and wonder.
That's when I started to feel really weird. I felt really itchy under my button-down and khakis. I started to feel really bloated and hot. I get I began to panic. I was breathing heavily and looking around for some answer. What is happening?
*What the hell is going on? * I asked myself.
`` Are you okay?'' She asks.
`` Yeah...'' I say in between pants as nonchalantly as possible.
The waiter comes back with the checkbook. At this point, I decided that I had to go to the men's room. *Great, now she thinks it was an act for me to get out of paying the check. * As I rush to the men's room, I kept going slower and slower. Even though, I was trying to move faster and faster, but for some reason my legs feel like they were sticking together. I barely get into the freezing yet enormous men's room, and as the speakers in the restroom play `` I am the Walrus'' by the Beatles. I look in the mirror and see two long tusks! *This has got to be some kind of dream. Hey, I can go lucid! Okay, I'm going to stop this, and everything is going to go back to normal. * I waited for a few seconds. My I lost my balance and fell down belly first with my thighs fused together. Leaving only legs separated at the knees. My arms fell in such away that my hands were facing outside and my elbows facing back. This felt just as comfortable as standing. All the while, I was trying to take control of this nightmare. *Oh God! I'm not dreaming! * As my hands began to be stitched together by skin. I began to cry for help, but soon my cries were transformed in into indistinguishable deep, bellowing, snorts as my expanding whiskered upper lip covered my mouth and my windpipe and vocal chords changed. My skin began to feel heavy with blubber, but as I felt my skeleton change within me, it felt more normal than clothes. *My god, it feels hot in here. * I thought. Once the weird feeling I had been having all night finally stopped. I looked around confused, but I could n't move my neck the same way I used to with my spinal chord. I manage to rotate myself within the tiny bathroom. I look at myself. *I'm a walrus, coocoocachoo. *
I tried to move using my now stubby legs, but I could barely move. I tried using my arms, well, I guess now flippers to move. It was slow, although effective. I managed to fit through the door and waddle through the restaurant. I went out the main exit and went towards, because it was the only one that I could fit through. I make a break for the lake. I waddled in and it felt *so good*.
I spent the night swimming around in that lake surfacing every three hours or so to take a break. It was great. Who knew being a walrus would n't be so bad? As soon as I saw the first light, I felt weird again. My legs separated, my head became smaller. I was human again.
As soon I was human, thought to myself. *There's definitely no way I'm getting a second date. * I was naked because my clothes ripped of when I went walrus. It was early morning so nobody saw. My carr keys were still on the valet rack.
That was the first time I went walrus. It's June, now because it's to warm for walruses, I just go to bed early and do n't look at the moon when it's full, but ca n't wait till winter. It's so much fun being a walrus.
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