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"The Man in the Mansion"
[SCENE_BREAK]
TEASER
(Open: Booth and Brennan arrive at the crime scene and exit Booth's SUV)
BRENNAN: Do you have therapy today?
BOOTH: It's not therapy.
BRENNAN: Well, you're seeing a psychiatrist.
BOOTH: Not for therapy. It's an official evaluation. Okay?
OFFICER: Person who found the body is in the living room.
BOOTH: Great, crime scene first, then we talk to the witnesses.
OFFICER: Corpse is gonna be in the den.
BOOTH: Thanks.
Brennan (motions to his tie): What is that?
BOOTH: What's what?
BRENNAN: Your tie. It's staid.
BOOTH: Staid?
BRENNAN: Yeah. Boring. It looks like J. Edgar Hoover picked it out.
BOOTH: Look, it's something' I'm working on, okay?
BRENNAN: In therapy?
BOOTH: Gordon Gordon says that the ... you know, the wild socks and the fancy ties are all just, ya know, quiet rebellions, helping me suppress other impulses.
BRENNAN: Isn't that good?
BOOTH: You'd think so, right? But, you know, apparently all the other issues just have to rise to the top.
BRENNAN: Why do you call your psychiatrist "Gordon Gordon"?
BOOTH: 'Cause that's who he introduces himself. You know: "Hi, I'm Gordon. Gordon Wyatt".
BRENNAN: Like "James, James Bond".
BOOTH: "Bond, James Bond", not "James, James ... James" ... whatever.
(They enter the crime scene - The Bancroft Mansion)
CAM: We're over here. And you might want to tuck your pants into your socks. The flies get into everywhere.
(Booth gives an exasperated sigh, and pulls up his pant leg, revealing solid black socks.)
CAM: What, no cartoon characters on the socks?
BOOTH: Never had cartoon characters on the socks. They were just ... um ... never mind, okay? What have we got here?
CAM: Three weeks decomp, give or take.
BOOTH: Oh, the place was tossed, huh?
CAM: No forced entry. The victim is probably the man of the house, Terrance Bancroft. His wife Clarissa identified the watch and wedding ring.
BRENNAN: This isn't good for me.
CAM: Yeah, it's pretty gross.
BRENNAN: No, not that. There's too much soft tissue for me to tell anything. In fact, why am I here at all?
CAM: The Bancroft family asked for us specifically.
BOOTH: What, they got some kind of pull?
CAM: The Bancroft Wing at the Jeffersonian? Sixty million bucks will buy a lot of goodwill.
BOOTH: Typical.
BRENNAN: (bends down to examine the body) This dried crust here, at the mouth... CAM: ... when the jugular was cut, the air mixes with venous blood and the negative pressure causes an air embolism. Death is very quick.
BOOTH: So just ... sit there, and stop complaining.
BRENNAN: Bound.
CAM: Multiple stab wounds. We need photos of these splatter patterns.
BOOTH: (glancing around) I'll be this statue is worth more than my house.
BRENNAN: You know, you should ask your therapist about your issues with rich people.
CAM: You're in therapy?
BRENNAN: You've seen the socks.
(Brennan and Cam smile.)
CAM: The victim's wife is in the kitchen.
(Cut to: Bancroft Mansion - Kitchen. Booth stands in the kitchen with Clarissa Bancroft, who is seated at the table.)
CLARISSA: I was ... I was at the vineyard for a month, and Terry was supposed to be at his fishing camp in Idaho, so the house was closed up.
BOOTH: And you didn't try to contact him at all during that time?
CLARISSA: (takes a deep breath) We spoke three weeks ago, um ... the day before he was supposed to leave. The cabin doesn't get cell service... (she stands up and begins to pace) I heard the officers talking about a possible home invasion?
BOOTH: Definite possibility CLARISSA: Well, Terry supports a youth center on the other side of the Anacostia River.
BOOTH: Rough neighborhood, tough kids.
CLARISSA: I was always afraid to go there, but he said it was because I didn't really know them.
BOOTH: Yeah. Listen, I'd like you to ... uh ... put a list of things together that might have gone missing and, uh, give me a call.
CLARISSA: Okay.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Zack is seated at a computer, Hodgins walks in behind him.)
HODGINS: Is that the Bancroft case?
ZACK: Yeah.
HODGINS: Looks like a home invasion homicide, right? (picks up the report and begins to read)
ZACK: Yes, I'm running dental records now, and Cam is finishing up the autopsy.
HODGINS: But Booth is pretty sure it's Terry Bancroft?
ZACK: Yes. There was a lot of insect activity. Samples are at your workstation. Also, the extension cord that was used to tie him up, and everything that was on top of his desk.
HODGINS: He was tied up?
(Cam enters the room)
CAM: His heart was perforated, but there's no blood in the thoracic cavity.
HODGINS: He was stabbed after he was already dead. What ... what killed him?
CAM: His jugular was punctured. Multiple stabs are congruent with killers jacked on crystal meth. Or ... just plain adrenalin.
HODGINS: Why killed him?
CAM: No sign of forced entry. He probably knew his attackers.
(The computer Zack is seated at begins to emit a beeping noise)
ZACK: We have a match. Confirmed. Terrance Bancroft.
HODGINS: He knew his killers?
CAM: Are you alright?
HODGINS: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. I'll ... I'll get on insect analysis right away.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hodgins work area. Hodgins is examining a framed photograph of Terry and Clarissa Bancroft, presumably on their wedding day. The frame is covered in blood. He places the photograph on his desk, and picks up another. He turns the photograph over, and removes the back of the frame. He is about to remove the photo, when Angela walks in.)
ANGELA:Hodgie?
HODGINS: Yeah? Hey. Good morning, Angela. (He places the photograph on his desk, and covers it with the blood-splattered photograph of the Bancrofts on their wedding day) ANGELA:I have blood splatter patterns on my computer ... if you need to match them to anything you have here.
HODGINS: Uh, yeah, thanks. I'll come look after I get through the evidence from the desk. ANGELA:You okay?
HODGINS: Mmm-hmm. Yeah. ANGELA:Yeah? Wanna have lunch later?
HODGINS: Okay, yeah.
(Angela walks away, and Hodgins returns to the photograph. He pulled the back of the frame forward, and removes the photograph, turning it over. We see that it is a photograph of four men, standing in front of a lake. They are wearing no clothes, but three of the men have guitars in front of them, and the fourth has a drum. Hodgins turns the photograph over, and the text on the back reads: Stoner, Tripp, Me + Hodgins, August '95. Hodgins folds the photograph in half, and puts it into his inner jacket pocket, glancing around to see if anybody is watching him.)
ACT ONE
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Sully and Brennan are talking.)
BRENNAN: Would I get to play?
SULLY: Uh, no. You will be cheering, then watching.
BRENNAN: What fun is that?
SULLY: I am a mad "sagger". I ... I ... I wear my shorts very, very low.
BRENNAN: Okay.
SULLY: (laughs) You suck hugely at being a girl. Okay, okay ... anthropology ... anthropology. Oh, okay ... think of it as a social ritual in which I impress you with my manly prowess during a game of basketball.
BRENNAN: You want to impress me?
SULLY: I'm traditional that way.
BRENNAN: Why don't you just bonk me on the head with a giant club?
SULLY: Well, I'd much prefer you came to the game and ogled my butt crack. You know, it's law enforcement versus public defenders. Guys with ponytails and love handles. We're heavily favored. So?
BRENNAN: (grins)
(Cut to: Bancroft Mansion. Clarissa Bancroft is walking towards the front door. She opens it, and finds Jack Hodgins standing on her doorstep.)
HODGINS: Hi, Clarissa.
CLARISSA: Hodgins. I ... you heard about Terry?
HODGINS: Can I come in?
(Clarissa nods her head, and opens the door wider for him to enter. Hodgins enters the home, and looks around)
CLARISSA: Last time I saw you, you didn't have a beard.
HODGINS: Yeah, last time you saw me I couldn't grow a beard. I'm sorry about Terry. Makes everything that happened between us look ... CLARISSA: ... meaningless.
HODGINS: Just a lot less important than it seemed at the time. I got over us, Clarissa.
CLARISSA: Then how come it took Terry getting murdered for you to show up at our door?
(Hodgins removes photograph he stole from work from his pocket, and hands it to Clarissa. She opens it, and studies the photograph.)
CLARISSA: Where did you get this?
HODGINS: I work at the Jeffersonian Institution. I'm on the case. This showed up with the evidence.
CLARISSA: I don't understand. Why are you bringing it to me?
HODGINS: If my bosses were aware that I knew the victim, or his wife, they'd remove me from the investigation. And I would really like to help catch whatever son of a bitch murdered my friend.
CLARISSA: So if someone introduces us... HODGINS: ...Nice to meet you, Ms. Bancroft, and you too, Dr. Hodgins.
CLARISSA: Got it.
CLARISSA: Hodgins? Terry and I were ... having some marital problems. But we were getting through it. That's going to make me a suspect, isn't it?
HODGINS: I can't talk about it, Clarissa. (He turns and walks from the house)
(Cut to: Youth Center. Agent Booth is talking with the center's direction, Robert Fraiser)
FRAISER: Terry, man we're really gonna miss that guy around this place.
BOOTH: Foot the bill for this place?
FRAISER: Oh, you know, he was more than a check book. I mean, Terry, he took a personal interest.
BOOTH: How personal?
FRAISER: No, don't even go there, all right? Terry, he was one of the good guys.
BOOTH: Those kids are pretty hard core, huh?
FRAISER: Oh yeah, yeah. You know, drugs, gangs, violence... BOOTH: Any recent arguments or incidents?
FRAISER: Well, apparently the night before Terry was going to head up to his cabin, he caught a kid with a couple pounds of heroin.
BOOTH: Couple pounds? The kid was a mule.
FRAISER: Yeah, he was runnin' deliveries to Baltimore on the bus.
BOOTH: Did you see Bancroft take the drugs from the kid?
FRAISER: No.
BOOTH: How about any of these kids? Did they see it?
FRAISER: Sure, until you ask them. Then nobody saw nothin'.
BOOTH: Did Bancroft call the police?
FRAISER: Oh, man, come on. If we did that, no kid would ever set foot back into this place.
BOOTH: Oh. Then what, huh? Flushed it down the toilet?
FRAISER: No, no, it's not like that. I mean, Terry, he would always deliver whatever he snagged to the cops. You know, otherwise the supplier would think they would get ripped off, and then the mule ends up dead.
(Cut to: Youth Center - Locker Room. Fraiser and Booth are standing at a bank of lockers, and Fraiser is cutting the lock on one.)
FRAISER: So this is Julio Diaz' locker.
BOOTH: Whoa. Blood on the kid's sweatshirt.
FRAISER: Nah, Julio would never kill anybody. I mean, he might deliver drugs, but he really liked Terry.
BOOTH: Maybe Julio's supplier? When was the last time Julio was here?
FRAISER: The day Terry took the heroin.
(Cut to: Youth Center - Room. Booth, standing in front of a group of kids)
BOOTH: Okay, look. If it wasn't for Terry Bancroft, this place wouldn't exist. I need one witness who saw Terry take the dope from Julio Diaz. Just one.
(The crowd of kids are silent, some not meeting Booth's eyes as he surveys the room. Nobody speaks up.)
FRAISER: Sorry, man.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Angela's Office. Angela and Brennan are seated at her computer.)
ANGELA:What is not to like? Go watch Sully play basketball.
BRENNAN: But - he still hasn't made a move on me.
ANGELA: How many times have you gone out?
BRENNAN: Four ... or six. Depending on how you define "go out". ANGELA:Right. Bumping into each other at the diner does not count as going out.
BRENNAN: Four. (points to the computer screen) There. Along the interior cervical vertebrae. Is that shadow a glitch? ANGELA:I don't do glitches. Four, huh? So the question is ... is Sully damaged goods, or is he just very respectful?
BRENNAN: What? Those are my choices?
ANGELA: Damaged goods, you run away; very respectful, you hang in.
BRENNAN: I should just make the first move.
ANGELA: No, Brennan! For once can you just pretend that you're the girl?
BRENNAN: Why is everyone so anxious for me to be a girl?
ANGELA: Listen. Go to the basketball game. Let him show off for you, and see what happens.
BRENNAN: I don't know. It sounds so ... passive.
ANGELA: Now you've got it.
(Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth is at his desk, and Sully's sitting in front of him.)
BOOTH: You just don't get it.
SULLY: What! I'm asking for guy advice, you are a guy - what's not to get?
BOOTH: First of all, guys, they don't ask for advice. And secondly, I'm not going to help you get my partner into bed.
SULLY: Why not? It's not like you want her.)
(Booth's lips twitch, but he doesn't say a word.
SULLY: Unless ... Do you want her?
BOOTH: Nah. Come on, Bones is, you know, my partner.
SULLY: That is why you need psychiatric treatment, because you have the hots for your partner!
BOOTH: I'm not in psychiatric treatment, okay? It's an evaluation. Big difference.
SULLY: I can tell that Brennan is the go slow type, but you gotta help me out on how slow, because too slow is worse than not slow enough. An agent appears at the doorway.
AGENT CHARLIE: Agent Booth.
BOOTH: Yeah?
AGENT CHARLIE: District cops got a kid matching your APB ... down at the morgue.
(Booth gets up from his desk, and Sully is left on his own.)
(Cut to: Morgue. The Coroner, Booth, and Robert Fraiser are standing over the table containing the body, a sheet covering it.)
ASST. CORONER: John Doe #120806. Male, approximately fourteen years old. His body was found under the Anacostia Bridge on the sixth.
BOOTH: That was almost twenty days ago.
FRAISER: I ... I think that's Julio. That's definitely his gold chain, for sure.
ASST. CORONER: Cause of death: single gunshot wound to the back of the head.
BOOTH: Execution style.
FRAISER: Yeah, if, uh ... if Terry hadn't gotten the drugs to the cops, then the supplier would have come for Julio.
BOOTH: Terry Bancroft got killed for that heroin.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Room. Zack and Dr. Cam Saroyan are viewing Terry Bancroft's skeleton on a light table.)
ZACK: Dr. Brennan saw a shadow on the x-rays. I removed the tissue from the bones and found a fungus.
CAM: Not odd. If you were decomposing for three weeks, you'd probably work up a fungus or two as well.
ZACK: The interior cervical vertebrae.
CAM: Spell it out, bone boy.
ZACK: The jugular was cut, and the blood pooled here.
CAM: He was lying on his back for several hours.
(Booth enters)
BOOTH: Anything new?
CAM: Yes. The victim was killed by the puncturing of his jugular, left lying there for several hours, and then the murderer came back... ZACK: ...forced the body into its chair... CAM: ... and stabbed him fourteen more times.
BOOTH: Oh, to make it look like a home invasion.
CAM: The blood on Julio's sweatshirt found in the locker was definitely Bancroft's.
BOOTH: Well, that doesn't make sense.
CAM: Bancroft confiscates the kid's dope, kid runs to the supplier, they go to Bancroft's place, scare him into telling them where the dope is, then kill him.
BOOTH: Wait, that doesn't scan. I mean, why murder the kid?
CAM: 'Cause he was there? 'Cause he cried, 'cause he blew his nose on a red hankie. They don't need much reason.
BOOTH: Well, I don't like it.
CAM: Doesn't mean it isn't true.
(Hodgins enters the room, carrying a specimen in a jar.)
HODGINS: Calliphora Vomitoria. Prepupal stage of the third instar.
CAM: Does that give us a postmortem interval?
HODGINS: Eighteen point five days.
BOOTH: Whoa. You can be that accurate from flies?
HODGINS: Yeah, D.O.J. Forensics has new statistical models of maggot growth that pinpoint death within a six hour window.
BOOTH: Hmm. Then I was right.
HODGINS: About what?
BOOTH: Julio Diaz was killed twenty days ago. Eighteen point five days ago is after his body was found.
CAM: Then how did Bancroft's blood get on Julio's sweatshirt?
BOOTH: Julio Diaz was dead under that bridge. Somebody else put that blood on his sweatshirt.
ACT TWO
(Cut to: Basketball Court. Brennan is watching the game from the stands, clearly with her eye on Sully. Sully's teammates are calling to him on the court, using the nickname "Peanut". Two women are seated in front of her in the stands, discussing the game.)
BLONDE WOMAN: Sully's looking good.
BRUNETTE WOMAN: Hot BLONDE WOMAN: You know, Scotty says Sully won't shower with the other guys.
BRUNETTE WOMAN: That guy's got some kind of an issue.
BLONDE WOMAN: Guys only got one kind of an issue, girl.
BRUNETTE WOMAN: Then I guess we know why they call him "Peanut".
(The women giggle. Sully spots Brennan in the stands and waves to her. She waves back, and the two women see her, and uncomfortably share a glance.)
(Cu to: Street outside the Royal Diner. Dr. Gordon Wyatt and Booth are walking down the street towards the diner.)
WYATT: In point of fact, it is therapy.
BOOTH: What? No, no, it's not. It's an evaluation.
WYATT: No, I've already certified you as fit to carry a gun and go back to work.
BOOTH: Okay, then why are we meeting?
WYATT: Well, because you discharged your weapon at an ice cream truck. My provisional certification of your mental health only holds as long as you continue to meet with me.
BOOTH: Great. For how long?
WYATT: 'Til I'm satisfied you won't start firing at confectioners again. What's your objection to therapy?
BOOTH: You know what, doc? I am not the kind of guy who's got anything to hide.
WYATT: You know, I often find that when people declare what they are not, it almost invariably turns out that that's precisely what they are.
BOOTH: Great. Then, you know what? No more declarations from me.
The two enter the diner and take a seat.
WYATT: You do know that what you just said is, in fact, the very avatar of a declaration.
BOOTH: Avatar, that's great. (He motions to a waiter) Can I get a cup of coffee, and a, uh ... WYATT: (makes a "T" sign with his fingers) Tea, please.
BOOTH: Tea, yeah. Let me ask you a question, doc. Why is that every time you introduce yourself, you always say your name twice, huh? (dons an English accent) "Hello, my name is Gordon, Gordon Wyatt."
WYATT: Well, now you're simply lashing out, aren't you? Why don't we talk about the case you're working on at the moment?
BOOTH: Why?
WYATT: Well, I am trained as a forensic psychiatrist. I might be able to help.
BOOTH: Okay. Fine. Great. I have a dead rich guy, works with at-risk youth, gets brutally murdered after confiscating a couple of pounds of heroin from one of his kids.
WYATT: It's interesting the first word you use to describe him is "rich"
BOOTH: Ah, second. First description was "dead"
WYATT: Why do you think you have a problem with wealthy people?
BOOTH: This case is a perfect example. This guy, he makes up his own rules. What's that word that you used?
WYATT: Uh, entitled.
BOOTH: Yeah, entitled. That's what got him killed.
WYATT: Did this rich guy, by any chance, have a wife?
BOOTH: Ah what, are we changing the subject now?
WYATT: And does the rich guy's wife have a lover?
BOOTH: I just told you. The murder has to do with the heroin. The boy, the victim took the heroin from also turned up murdered.
WYATT: And is this boy from a modest background?
BOOTH: Doesn't get any modester.
WYATT: So is there any chance that you would rather catch the boy's murderer, than the wealthy fellow's murderer, so you have decided that they're one in the same? Any chance that you've based this assumption purely on your bias against rich, entitled people?
BOOTH: Mmm-hmm. You know what? I did the belt buckle, I did the tie, I did the socks ... what else do you want from me?
WYATT: What would you say if I told you that my name actually is Gordon Gordon Wyatt. That my first and middle names are the same?
(Cut to: Basketball Court. The game is just wrapping up, and the men are coming off the court to meet their friends and family. Sully comes over to meet Brennan.)
SULLY: So are you ready to go?
BRENNAN: Don't you want to take a shower?
SULLY: Ah, I don't sweat that much.
BRENNAN: Won't you be uncomfortable at the restaurant?
SULLY: It's a scuzzy bar. I'll be one of the best-smelling things there - next to you, of course.
BRENNAN: You played very well.
SULLY: Thank you.
BRENNAN: In fact, you were the best.
SULLY: See, that's why I wanted you to come, you know, to be impressed.
BRENNAN: Well, it was an impressive display of manhood.
SULLY: (laughs) Well, thank you.
BRENNAN: Athletics as an analog for battle. In fact, you were a warrior tonight.
SULLY: (laughs again) Wow. You really were impressed.
BRENNAN: There are quite a number of ways that men judge their relative maleness with respect to other men.
SULLY: Uh-huh.
BRENNAN: Muscles, income, cars, attractive mates, tolerance to alcohol, hair loss ... and of course, the size of sexual organs.
SULLY: Whoa! Save something for us to discuss at dinner.
BRENNAN: Well ... women don't care about that.
SULLY: Dinner, or ... hair loss.
BRENNAN: The size of the sexual organ.
SULLY: Ours or yours?
BRENNAN: pen1s size only matters to other males.
SULLY: See, I was hoping you'd comment on how I shut down the other team's offense.
BRENNAN: Well, their offense wasn't really all that good.
SULLY: Oh, you know how to hurt a guy. It's not a bad thing, I like it. A little sauce, a little zing...
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hodgins Work Area. Hodgins and Booth are standing together.)
HODGINS: The flake on the trachea was India ink. It came from this (he holds up a letter opener). It's a Scrimshawed letter opener, wiped clean, but there are still minute traces of Terrance Bancroft's blood in the etchings.
BOOTH: I need to pull a little con on the wife.
HODGINS: Your wife?
BOOTH: No, the victim's wife.
HODGINS: Why?
BOOTH: Find out if she was cheating on her husband.
HODGINS: I thought the murder was because of the heroin.
BOOTH: Well, it is. But you know, I need you to come along and, you know, collect some dust, or pollen, or seeds, or whatever the hell it is you do, so I can get in and figure out if she's got anything to hide.
HODGINS: How will you do that?
BOOTH: Oh, I've got my ways. Come on.
HODGINS: Well, you know, I'm really busy here. You know, the murder weapon ... plus, we found a fibre in the victim's throat. It's actually muskrat...
BOOTH: Muskrat, hey, that's a perfect cover. We'll go the mansion, you go inside and look for anything made out of muskrat. Come on. Why are you draggin' your feet? Let's go.
HODGINS: I'll ... I'll get my kit.
BOOTH: Get your kit.
(Cut to: Bancroft Mansion. Clarissa opens the door to find Booth standing on her doorstep.)
BOOTH: Good evening, Ms. Bancroft. (He moves aside, and we see Hodgins standing behind him) This is Dr. Hodgins, from the Jeffersonian. We were wondering if... HODGINS: Very pleased to meet you.
CLARISSA: Nice to meet you, Dr. Hodgins. Clarissa Bancroft.
BOOTH: Dr. Hodgins needs to take a look inside, in the den, if that's all right.
CLARISSA: Oh. What are you looking for?
HODGINS: Muskrat.
(They come into the house, and Clarissa and Booth wait in another room, while Hodgins is looking through the den.)
CLARISSA: How long with Dr. Hodgins be in there?
BOOTH: Oh, you know, a homicide investigation is pretty invasive. Both the family and the victim lose all their privacy.
CLARISSA: I understand.
BOOTH: Do you? Because, uh, it's inevitable that we find out everything.
CLARISSA: What kind of doctor is Jack?
BOOTH: Bugs. Slime. There's fancier names, but ... that's about it.
CLARISSA: You know, don't you. You know that I had an affair.
BOOTH: It's best that you tell me everything.
CLARISSA: It ended three months ago. Terry and I were working through it.
BOOTH: Separate vacations?
Clarissa; I didn't say it wasn't difficult. You can love someone and still hurt them. You need his name?
BOOTH: Yeah.
CLARISSA: Leland Oliver. He's our financial consultant.
BOOTH: So, you divorce your husband... CLARISSA: I would have gotten, at most, half of his money. This way I get it all. Leland knew that better than anyone. That's exactly why I didn't say anything earlier.
BOOTH: How'd you know Dr. Hodgins' first name?
CLARISSA: You introduced us.
BOOTH: I never said his first name. Hodgins (comes around the corner) Just tell him, Clarissa.
(Cut to: Outside of the Bancroft Mansion. Booth is briskly walking away, with Hodgins trailing behind him.)
HODGINS: All right, look, I'm sorry, but it doesn't change anything. Hey, this is not a problem.
BOOTH: Not a problem? Not a problem, huh? I ought to arrest you for tampering with evidence. This goes to trial, you are in Ibiza, or Antarctica on vacation. Start looking for another job.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Hodgins comes onto the platform and sees Brennan and Cam, sitting at the table with Terry Bancroft's skeleton.)
BRENNAN: Hodgins, what is the significant of the muskrat fur?
BOOTH: (comes up behind Hodgins) Yeah, Hodgins. What is the significance of the muskrat fur?
HODGINS: Muskrats have an under layer of fur. The outer layer is coarse hair. This ... this is muskrat hair.
BRENNAN: Fur, hair ... I doubt our victim's jugular was cut by a muskrat.
CAM: Is there something going on?
BOOTH: (turns to Hodgins) You wanna tell 'em?
HODGINS: The muskrat hair was coloured with a new dye that's just be patented by a menswear company in Canada. (He brings up a bunch of photographs of coats on the computer)
BRENNAN: So the murderer was dressed in one of these jackets?
BOOTH: Wait. That one.
BRENNAN: The leather bomber with muskrat liner.
BOOTH: That's the one Robert Fraiser was wearing. The director of the youth drop in centre.
CAM: Then we have our murderer.
BRENNAN: Good job, Hodgins.
BOOTH: No, no ... not "good job Hodgins". He might have blown the whole case.
HODGINS: I told him it is not a problem.
BRENNAN: What happened?
BOOTH: I don't care what he does in his time off, but when he screws around with evidence to get in the pants of an old girlfriend on one of my murder cases? That is a problem.
(Booth walks off the platform, and we see that Angela is standing to his side, and has heard everything. )
(Cut to: FBI - Meeting Room. Cam, Brennan, Hodgins, Booth, and Caroline Julian are seated in the room.)
CAROLINE: I already got no proof how the victim got hold of that heroin. Now you're saying I can't put Hodgins on the stand? Why?
BOOTH: You don't want to know the answer to that one.
BRENNAN: Why doesn't she want to know?
CAROLINE: As the prosecutor in this case, I'm obliged to share everything I know with the defense.
HODGINS: Just because Clarissa Bancroft and I... CAROLINE: Whoa! Good night.
BOOTH: Did you not hear what she just said?
CAM: There are some things she can't know.
HODGINS: Clarissa and I were engaged. She and Terry started something up and it unfolded the way those things do. I haven't contacted or heard from either of them in eight years. Then Terry got killed... BOOTH: And like every other rich guy in the world, you decided the rules just didn't apply to you.
HODGINS: Hey! The guy used to be my friend, all right? And Clarissa... CAM: You tampered with evidence.
HODGINS: The glass and frame were evidence. The photograph I removed was not. I wanted to work Terry's murder.
CAM: Obviously you're off the case.
BOOTH: Should be off the job.
BRENNAN: That is not your decision, Booth.
HODGINS: I apologize. I will deal with this however you see fit.
[SCENE_BREAK]
ACT THREE
(Cut to: Courtroom. Caroline Julian, prosecutor, is standing before the jury. Mr. Barron, the defense attorney, is seated with Mr. Robert Fraiser.)
CAROLINE: Ladies and gentleman of the jury. My good friend Mr. Barron is going to give you a long speech about what reasonable doubt is. He's mostly going to be right. But facts are facts, ladies and gentleman, and the fact is Mr. Robert Fraiser killed Mr. Terrance Bancroft for a few pounds of heroin.
(Cut to: Mr. Barron, defense attorney, addressing the jury)
MR. MR. BARRON: They've got anthropologists, and psychiatrists, and particulate experts, and blood experts. The whole weight of the Jeffersonian Institution all interpreting the facts for you. And I stress the word "interpret", because you, as the jury, are the arbiters of common sense, that gets lost in all the science.
(Cut to: Caroline Julian, addressing Dr. Camille Saroyan on the stand)
CAROLINE: Would you describe how the victim was killed?
CAM: Mr. Bancroft died when a sharp instrument was thrust into his jugular.
(Cut to: Dr. Zack Addy on the stand)
ZACK: This is a dried fleck of India ink left in the victim's trachea. It matches the ink on a Scrimshawed letter opener the FBI found at the scene.
(Cut to:Dr. Camille Saroyan on the stand)
CAM: Postmortem the vicious attack on the victim continued.
MR. MR. BARRON: Objection! Categorization of the attack as vicious is prejudicial.
CAROLINE: Fourteen times a man was stabbed. How many stabs does it take to be vicious, exactly?
JUDGE: Sustained.
(Cut to: Angela Montenegro on the stand)
ANGELA:Using a 2-D image from a stereo microscope, I was able to create a three dimensional model...
(Cut to: Dr. Zack Addy on the stand)
ZACK: These kerf marks are congruent with a double-edged blade, one side serrated, the other not.
(Cut to: Special Agent Seeley Booth on the stand, viewing a knife, held up by Caroline Julian)
BOOTH: Yeah, that's the knife we found in a toolbox in Robert Fraiser's truck.
CAROLINE: That would explain the prints found by the FBI forensics lab?
BOOTH: It would explain the prints, but not the victim's blood.
(Cut to: Booth holding up the muskrat coat)
BOOTH: Yeah, this is the coat Robert Fraiser was wearing at the time of his arrest.
(Cut to: Dr. Temperance Brennan on the stand, motioning to a screen to her left)
BRENNAN: Hair on the left came from the victim's larynx. The hair on the right came from the jacket.
CAROLINE: And they came from the same jacket?
BRENNAN: They came from the same muskrat.
CAROLINE: How did this hair get into the victim's larynx?
(Cut to: Angela Montenegro on the stand)
ANGELA: The larynx and the trachea were both punctured by the murder weapon. And that was most logically achieved by the murderer approaching the victim from behind, putting the choke hold on him, and plunging the murder weapon into his throat. (She demonstrates this on a volunteer from the court)
(Cut to: Cam on the stand, holding the knife)
CAM: In doing so, the murderer inadvertently stabbed through his own jacket, thus depositing muskrat hair in the victim's throat.
(Cut to: Booth on the stand, with the leather bomber jacket, his finger pushed through a hole.)
CAROLINE: Let the records show that the witness is wiggling his finger through the jacket in a very convincing manner.
MR. MR. BARRON: Objection to the use of the phrase "very convincing manner".
JUDGE: Sustained.
CAROLINE: Why?
BOOTH: Why what?
CAROLINE: Why was Terrance Bancroft killed? Did you discover a motive, Agent Booth?
(Luiz, a young man from the youth centre pokes his head into the courtroom, catching Booth's eye. He motions to him to come outside.)
BOOTH: I need five minutes, your Honor.
(Cut to: Hallway of the Courthouse. Booth is talking to Luiz.)
LUIZ: Look, man. I saw Terry take the dope from Julio. I don't see how this is gonna help burn Fraiser, though.
BOOTH: It's called chain of evidence. It'll help, okay? Trust me.
LUIZ: I'll say what I saw. Terry was a good man.
BOOTH: So are you.
(Cut to: Courtroom. Luiz is on the stand.)
LUIZ: Terry was like "open that bag, Julio.
CAROLINE: What did Julio do?
LUIZ: Just stood there. Terry went over and took the bag from him, and opened it up. It was packed with pounds of blast.
CAROLINE: Tell the jury what that means.
LUIZ: Heroin. At least two bricks. And like, everybody knows what happens if Terry catches you holding. You get sent out for 72 hours.
CAROLINE: And the drugs?
LUIZ: Straight to the police.
CAROLINE: You believe Robert Fraiser killed Terrance Bancroft for that heroin.
(Cut to: Booth on the stand.)
BOOTH: Yes. Robert Fraiser turned out to be a junkie. That's why he wore that jacket all the time.
MR. MR. BARRON: Objection. Assuming facts not in evidence.
CAROLINE: What do you mean? The defendant has every needle disease in the book, except HIV.
MR. BARRON: Same objection! Plus, Ms. Julian seems to deeply desire to testify herself.
CAROLINE: Yes, I would like to testify, because then I'd know what answers I was getting.
JUDGE: All right, settle down. This is a murder trial, not a night at the improv.
(Cut to: Cam on the stand.)
CAM: The victim was killed and left for between ten and fifteen hours. The murderer returned, and forced him into the chair. This is also when he was stabbed fourteen times.
(Cut to: Booth on the stand.)
BOOTH: That ten to fifteen hours gave the murderer time to soak Julio Diaz's sweatshirt in the victim's blood, in order to put the blame on either Mr. Diaz or the drug suppliers.
CAROLINE: But you do not believe that the defendant killed the boy.
BOOTH: No. But he might as well have.
MR. BARRON: Objection!
JUDGE: I'll hear it.
BOOTH: Terrance Bancroft intended to give that heroin to the police in order to keep Julio Diaz square with his suppliers.
CAROLINE: Thank you.
BOOTH: Julio Diaz was fourteen years old.
MR. BARRON: Your honour!
CAROLINE: The prosecution apologizes, your honour. And rests.
(Cut to: Street near the Royal Diner. Angela and Brennan are walking together.)
ANGELA:Wait. You still haven't slept together?
BRENNAN: I know the problem.
ANGELA: His religious upbringing?
BRENNAN: His pen1s. ANGELA:What's wrong with it.
BRENNAN: Apparently it's small.
ANGELA: (laughing) Well, that maybe explains why he hasn't made any moves on you yet. He's insecure.
BRENNAN: So I should make the first move, right? Angela; Yeah. Take Sully for a little test drive. Maybe he's got unlimited mileage. That'll make up for the fact that he's a sub-compact.
(Cut to: FBI - Booth's Office. Booth and Gordon Wyatt are in the office, sharing food in tiny Chinese food take out boxes.)
BOOTH: Hey, Doc, what we're doing here, would that be considered therapy?
WYATT: Absolutely. Especially since I'm about to inquire whether you've experienced any outbursts of temper since I requested you alter your dress code.
BOOTH: Yeah. One of the Squints - Hodgins - decided the rules, they didn't apply to him. He got entitled and jeopardized my murder case.
WYATT: Ah, and you confronted him physically.
BOOTH: Physical confrontation - that's my main skill.
WYATT: "Entitled," you said. Is he a wealthy man?
BOOTH: Yeah, like the guy who got killed.
WYATT: The murder victim ... who tried to help a child and then died for it? And your ... uh ... Squint?
BOOTH: Yeah, Squint.
WYATT: Extraordinary. Your Squint tried to help a friend. So they both endeavored to do good.
BOOTH: With no clue of the way things are.
WYATT: The way things are, as defined by a working class lad from Pittsburg.
BOOTH: That's right. Pittsburg, where I'm from, all right? From the streets. Where you get a sense of how the world really is.
WYATT: Yes, I'm sure that's true. But has it occurred to you that without the distortion of reality provided by a privileged upbringing, there'd be no such thing as the Sistine Chapel, the Taj Mahal, the Three Rivers Stadium, home of your beloved Steelers?
BOOTH: The Three Rivers Stadium was demolished in 2000. But it was a great place, though, that Lambert... WYATT: No doubt. The point is, you rebel in your way, your friend rebels in his. We all of us have to overcome our upbringing, rich and poor alike. You know what? I'm going to ask you to go back to your bilious socks and your ostentatious ties, and your provocative belt buckles.
BOOTH: What, you're saying that if I wear flashy socks, I'm going to forgive Hodgins?
WYATT: Oh Lord, I'm not sure I'm that good. Well, perhaps I am ... hmm. (He gets up and begins walking toward the door)
BOOTH: Hey, Doc, Doc, Doc ... um ... why is it that the belt buckle is provocative?
WYATT: Oh, it's a modern day codpiece. It forced the eye to the groin.
(Cut to: Courtroom. Mr. Barron is interrogating Brennan on the stand.)
MR. BARRON: What process was used to match the India ink on the letter opener with the flake in the victim's trachea.
BRENNAN: Hydropneumatic elutriation.
MR. BARRON: Which involves dissolving the sample in a solution, correct?
BRENNAN: Yes.
MR. BARRON: Essentially destroying it.
BRENNAN: Yes.
(Cut to: Cam on the stand.)
MR. BARRON: And how was the muskrat hair processed?
CAM: Liquid chromatograph mass spectrometry.
MR. BARRON: And did you perform this test personally, Dr. Saroyan?
CAM: No. It was done by a specialist at the Jeffersonian.
MR. BARRON: And who might that be?
CAM: Dr. Jack Hodgins.
MR. BARRON: The same man who used flies to estimate the time of death?
CAM: Yes.
MR. BARRON: The same Dr. Jack Hodgins who was once engaged to the victim's wife, Clarissa Bancroft?
CAROLINE: Objection! Assumes facts not in evidence.
JUDGE: Sustained.
MR. BARRON: Quite right, your Honor. The defense calls Dr. Jack Hodgins to the stand. After which, we will be moving for dismissal of all charges.
ACT FOUR
(Cut to: Courthouse Lunch Room. Booth and Brennan are having coffee, discussing the case)
BRENNAN: How do you think they found out about Hodgins and Clarissa Bancroft?
BOOTH: Aw, it's a classic defense move. You just check out the wife for motive, run through the ex-lovers.
(Caroline and Hodgins walk up to them)
CAROLINE: Well, the judge didn't dismiss the case, which is a miracle. "Better you don't know, Caroline". Hmph! I figured it was something small, like a typo on a search warrant, but no. Turns out Hodgins had motive to kill the man himself.
HODGINS: Eight years ago, maybe. But not now. I've got Angela.
CAROLINE: Hello! If I might continue. The judge has allowed you twenty-four hours to come up with additional information that has never been seen, heard, smelled, touched, or considered by Dr. Hodgins. Twenty-four hours.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Forensics Platform. Brennan, Cam, Angela, and Zack surround Terrance Bancroft's skeleton.)
CAM: Hodgins was all over this case. We need something brand new. Or something that Hodgins didn't touch.
ZACK: Uh, both weapons, blood spatter evidence... ANGELA:Right, trace evidence from the scene, the heroin, the sweatshirt ... I mean, we've covered it all.
BRENNAN: (leans down and studies the bones) The answer is here in front of us. Just like always.
ZACK: Well...
(Angela holds her hand up to stop him.)
BRENNAN: The fungus!
CAM: What fungus?
BRENNAN: The fungus Zack found along the interior cervical vertebrae.
ZACK: Typical cadaver mold.
BRENNAN: Let's have it identified.
ANGELA:That would usually be Hodgins' job.
CAM: Not this time.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Brennan's Office. Brennan is seated at her desk, Cam standing in front of her. Hodgins walks in with an envelope in his hand. He hands it to Brennan.)
HODGINS: It's my letter of resignation.
BRENNAN: Your science was dead-on perfect. That's all I care about. I don't need your resignation.
(Hodgins hands the letter to Cam, who accepts it.)
BRENNAN: He didn't actually tamper with evidence!
CAM: Dr. Hodgins endangered a case by hiding his relationship with a suspect.
HODGINS: I'm saving Dr. Saroyan the trouble of firing me.
BRENNAN: Well, how much trouble is it? "You're fired", that's no trouble at all! I mean, a child could do it!
CAM: (looks at Hodgins) I appreciate it.
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Brennan, Zack, and Angela are looking through various species of fungus on a computer screen.)
BRENNAN: So we all agree it's Aspergillus.
ZACK: But there are a hundred and eight five strains of Aspergillus.
BRENNAN: Clavatus, glaucus, flavus ... ZACK: They all look totally alike to me.
ANGELA:(points to the screen) No ... these two are different.
BRENNAN: I don't see it. ANGELA:Well they're both ... puddly.
ZACK: "Puddly?" ANGELA:Well, by "puddly", I mean the hyphae are septate and hyaline. And the conidiophores originate from the basal foot cell located on the supporting hyphae and ... terminate in a vesicle.
ZACK: Aspergillus ustus.
BRENNAN: You found it. Exactly how much time have you been spending with Hodgins?
(Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth is seated at the counter eating a slice of pie and reading a paper, when Hodgins walks in and approaches him.)
HODGINS: Pie good? (Booth ignores him and continues reading his paper.) I quit. Handed in my letter to Cam.
BOOTH: Idiot. You should have got fired. Now, no severance package.
HODGINS: I figure, a guy like you, I resign that puts things right between us. Do we need to discuss it past that?
BOOTH: What are we, girls? (Looks to the server) A piece of pie for my friend...
(Cut to: Courtroom. Caroline is addressing the jury)
CAROLINE: I will remind the jury that they have heard previous testimony from Dr. Clifford Lonsdale, a clinical expert in drug addiction. (to Brennan) Why should the jury care about some Latin infections?
BRENNAN: We found a fungus on the victim called Aspergillus Ustus.
CAROLINE: Is that not very common?
(Cut to: Cam on the stand)
CAM: The fungus in the victim matches exactly the strain Dr. Lonsdale found in the defendant.
CAROLINE: What are the chances of that occurring?
(Cut to: Zack on the stand)
ZACK: Incalculable. Which is something I've never said before.
(Cut to: Angela on the stand)
CAROLINE: Miss Montenegro, how did this happen?
ANGELA:When the defendant punctured the victim's jugular he nicked himself...
(Cut to: Cam on the stand)
CAM: ... thus introducing the bacteria directly into the victim's bloodstream.
(Cut to: Brennan on the stand)
BRENNAN: The fungus developed only where blood from the fatal stab pooled ... (she points to a diagram on a monitor beside her) Here, along the spinal cord. It did not spread throughout the body.
CAROLINE: Which means?
BRENNAN: That only Mr. Fraiser could have infected the victim. And only within moments of the victim's death.
CAROLINE: And who found this fungus?
BRENNAN: Dr. Zack Addy.
CAROLINE: And who identified it?
BRENNAN: Miss Angela Montenegro.
CAROLINE: And who realized the significance of it?
BRENNAN: I did.
(Cut to: Barron interrogating Brennan on the stand)
MR. BARRON: Dr. Jack Hodgins participated in no way whatsoever?
CAROLINE: Objection! The implication is offensive.
JUDGE: That objection has no standing in law, Ms. Julian. The witness will answer.
BRENNAN: Despite the fact that I have absolute faith in Dr. Hodgins' integrity and objectivity, in this instance he was not involved.
JUDGE: Then the evidence stands.
(Cut to: Courthouse Lunchroom. Brennan, Hodgins, Zack, Angela, and Booth are standing and sitting around tables, and Brennan is watching Caroline talk to Barron in the distance.)
BRENNAN: I don't understand how they could do that.
ZACK: Who?
BRENNAN: Lawyers.
ANGELA:Do what?
BRENNAN: Be all friendly.
CAM: The only people lawyers like are other lawyers.
BOOTH: Well, they were married ... (everybody turns to look at him) Well, they have a daughter, second year at MIT.
HODGINS: Does anyone else see the irony here?
(Caroline approaches the table.)
CAROLINE: Listen up you people. The verdict is gonna come down any minute. Maybe we'll win, maybe we'll lose. But this I do know. You people have got to get your sand together, do you hear me? Booth, and you scientist android brainiacs - you got something very special here, but you are losing it. (Looks at Booth) Dropping serial killers off balconies, and (looks at Angela) blabbing suspects names to vengeful fathers. (Looks at Cam) Cuttin' into heads before their times, getting' poisoned, (looks at Zack) getting' blown up because you go grabbing for things you shouldn't ought. (Looks at Hodgins) Taking photographs from frames. (Looks back at Booth) Gettin' a perfectly good car smashed to bits for no good reason. Get it together! Start using your oversized heads. This is the real world. Now, I know bug man here handed in his resignation. My official Justice Department recommendation is the following: We win the case, he gets his job back. We lose, Booth shoots him. (Baliff approaches)BALIFF: The jury's returned with a verdict.
CAROLINE: Okay, let's go face the music.
(Cut to: Courtroom. [Music: Tears & Laugher by Tall Tree 6ft Man])
JUDGE: Will the defendant please rise? Madam Foreperson, please read the verdict.
JURY FOREPERSON: We, the jury, find the defendant guilty.
JUDGE: This court is adjourned.
(Booth approaches Caroline and pats her on the shoulder, Hodgins meets Clarissa's eye and smiles, and Cam holds up Hodgins' resignation letter and tears it in half. He mouths "thank you" to her.)
(Cut to: Royal Diner. Booth shares some of his ties with Wyatt.)
(Cut to: Sully's basketball game: Sully walks off the court and Brennan rushes to him, greeting him with a kiss.)
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab. Hodgins shows Angela a variety of photographs (presumably of him and Terry Bancroft in their youth).
(Cut to: Medico Legal Lab - Hallway - Next Morning. Brennan and Sully walk into the lab and share a passionate kiss. Angela, who is standing nearby, watches in awe. She approaches Brennan.)
ANGELA: You look happy.
BRENNAN: Uh-huh.
ANGELA: Oh, you look really happy. (Brennan laughs) You made the first move.
BRENNAN: Well you told me I should!
ANGELA: How was it? I mean, I don't mean "it" ... no, no ... I do! I mean "it".
BRENNAN: I discovered something very interesting about cops and nicknames.
ANGELA: Anthropologically interesting?
BRENNAN: Anatomically interesting. They call the bald guy "Curly", and the fat guy "Tiny". It's ironic.
ANGELA: So when they call Sully "Peanut"... BRENNAN: He doesn't like to shower with the other guys because he diverges from the quantifiable morphological norm.
(Brennan and Angela reach Brennan's office, where Booth is waiting in a chair, his feet up on Brennan's desk.)
BOOTH: What? What's that mean?
BRENNAN: Stands out from a crowd.
ANGELA: Do you have a nickname, Booth? Something the other cops call you?
BOOTH: Why? What have you heard?
ANGELA: Congrats, Brennan.
(Angela walks out of the room.)
BRENNAN: Wow. Those socks. Those are...amazing.
BOOTH: That's right. The socks, the tie, the belt buckle - all escape valves for my socioeconomic rage.
BRENNAN: I hate psychology.
BOOTH: Oh, you know, they help me deal with the day-to-day irritations of dealing with people that are more privileged.
BRENNAN: I slept with Sully last night.
BOOTH: Oh. I thought you already, uh ... BRENNAN: No. Last night.
BOOTH: Ah. It's really none of my business.
BRENNAN: Except we're partners.
BOOTH: Yeah, there's that-
BRENNAN: And you...told me about your socks.
BOOTH: Mhm. s*x. Socks. Pretty much the same word.
BRENNAN: Do we have a case, or are you just visiting?
BOOTH: Yeah, I'll fill you in on the way. It's messy, better get some protection.
BRENNAN: Let me get my gumboots.
(Brennan leaves the office and Booth stands up, looks at his watch and begins fidgeting with his tie.)
BOOTH: Yeah. I'm gonna need a flashier tie.
|
Plan: A: Jeffersonian; Q: What is the name of the museum? A: the team; Q: Who is responsible for finding out who killed the benefactor? A: matters; Q: What does Hodgins' past with the widow complicate? A: Booth; Q: Who is seeing a therapist? A: guest star Stephen Fry; Q: Who is the guest star in this episode? A: Sullivan; Q: Who is Brennan in a relationship with? Summary: When a benefactor of the Jeffersonian is found murdered, it's up to the team to find out who, but Hodgins' past with the widow complicates matters. Meanwhile Booth continues to see the therapist (guest star Stephen Fry ), and Brennan is progressing in her exploratory relationship with Sullivan.
|
(Seattle Scenes)
(The interns are at Cristina and Burke's apartment studying for intern exams)
Alex: What percentage of Americans look at an acute apnea?
MVO: As interns we know what we want...to become surgeons. And will do anything to get there...
Alex: What are the signs of a central line infection?
Meredith: Puss, redness and fever.
MVO: Suffer through killer exams, endure 100-hour weeks, stand for hours on end operating rooms. You name it we'll do it.
Alex: What's Kahn's syndrome?
Meredith: Wait, wait, I know this.
Izzie: Tick tock dude.
Meredith: Um...
George: Cracking under the pressure?
Meredith: No! Um...hypocortolis...cortolism...
Cristina: Primary hypro dostrolonism. Yes, out of the seat. My turn.
Izzie: No it's my turn.
Cristina: No it's not.
(Burke walks up with cake)
Cristina: Oh honey I...
Burke: Try this one. White sponge with vanilla butter cream.
Cristina: Ok yeah. I'm trying to study for the most important test of my intern career. I don't have time for wedding cake.
Burke: Just try it.
Izzie: Go, go!
George: What is the strongest layer of the small bowel?
Cristina: Fine, yummy, go!
Izzie: Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.
George: It is not snot.
Izzie: Submucousa
George: Yes.
Cristina: Wait, wait. How do you know that? Are you studying with the wife's cards?
Meredith: What cards?
Cristina: Callie was ranked number one in her year after this test. She has legendary flash cards.
Izzie: So don't need the flash cards. We are independently brilliant.
George: Dream team.
Cristina: Yeah, yeah. I wanna hurl. Out of the seat.
Alex: No, no my turn.
Cristina: Oh come on.
(Burke walks up with more cake)
Burke: This is the lemon, might be a little tart.
Izzie: What is atenicaratosis?
Alex: Uh...atenicaratosis is uh...pre-malignant lesion.
Cristina: In old people.
Alex: In anyone.
Burke: Is it too tart?
Cristina: Baby, I don't care. I mean, is Alex right or am I?
Burke: You don't care? Well I'll get another bride.
Cristina: I love it. I love all cakes. Now break the tie.
Burke: Karev's right.
MVO: The tough part though is reconciling this huge thing we want, to be surgeons, with everything else we want.
(Derek is entering the hospital, Meredith is right behind him)
Meredith: Hey.
Derek: Hey.
Meredith: I haven't seen you in a few days. I left messages.
Derek: Yeah, I know. I was just trying to be...
Meredith: I know I told you to stop hovering and you did and I appreciate but now stop the stopping.
Derek: No, you're right. It's ridiculous to worry about you all the time.
Meredith: It's sweet that you worry.
Derek: Mmm hmm.
Meredith: It is. I should communicate more.
Derek: Right?
Meredith: You don't think I can do it? I can do it.
Derek: Really?
Meredith: In a few seconds, I'll be getting on that elevator. And then I'll be going on rounds. See that? I'm getting on the elevator. Communicating.
(Mark and Addison enter an elevator)
Mark: 28 more days and then it's you and me in a locked room for a record breaking, earth shattering, mind blowing...
Addison: Ok! I get it. Thank you.
Mark: That was less then enthusiastic.
Addison: I'm gonna be more enthusiastic when we uh...cross the finish line.
Mark: Ok. Just making sure you haven't lost interest in the project.
Addison: No, not at all.
Mark: Good.
(Mark leaves the elevator and Addison looks sad and disappointed)
(Cristina and the other interns enter a conference room where Burke is setting up wedding cake samples)
Cristina: Um, what are you doing?
Burke: The bakery wants me to make a decision by tomorrow so if you can tell me your favorite by then that would be great.
(Burke leaves)
Cristina: Cakes and little place cards? Ok, he's turning into a girl.
Izzie: I think it's sweet. He obviously cares about this stuff.
Alex: This white one tastes pretty good.
Meredith: I should bring a piece to Derek, right? That's what good girlfriends do. Take their boyfriends cake and communicate.
Alex: No, the best ones just keep all that stuff to themselves.
Cristina: Did you bring Callie's cards?
George: Uh...no.
Cristina: No cake for you.
(Bailey enters)
Meredith: Dr. Bailey, I saw hemiglossectomy on the board. Can I scrub in?
Bailey: No, your not doing surgeries today.
Meredith: What?
Bailey: Your intern exams are in two weeks. You need to spend every available minute studying for them. Believe me, when you won't have to repeat your year as interns, you'll be thanking me for this opportunity. So, Grey and Yang, you're doing scut. O'Malley and Stevens, you'll be joining me in the clinic. Karev, you're with Ava.
Alex: Oh, I don't always have to be on the case. Someone else can have her. Or not.
(Izzie and George are alone in the conference room)
George: So, last night we studied together. Today we're treating patients together.
Izzie: And we're fine. We're not tortured. It's not weird. We made a mistake, we've moved on.
George: If anything, I think it brings us closer together as friends.
Izzie: We're very impressive.
George: I think we are.
(Bailey and Richard are walking through the hall)
Richard: Larry Jennings just checked into the hospital.
Bailey: What's the matter with him?
Richard: I have no idea. His assistant said it was a matter of the utmost discretion.
Bailey: Oh, that's never good.
Richard: Well whatever it is, it was important enough for him to cut short his vacation and fly home. I want you on point on this one. No clinic today.
Bailey: I can do both.
Richard: Miranda, we're talking the Chairman of the Board of Seattle Grace Hospital. The clinic will survive without you for a day. Learn to delegate.
Bailey: Who am I supposed to delegate to?
(Sydney walks up)
Sydney: Chief Webber, you paged me? Sydney Heron, reporting for duty.
(Richard gives Bailey a look)
(Alex enters Ava's room)
Ava: Hey. I was wondering if I was gonna see you today. Where you been?
Alex: Just getting my assignments.
Ava: Yeah, anything good? Anything as good as a crazily, hormonal, pregnant amnesiac with a tendency to yell at their own people?
Alex: Your blood pressure's higher that it should be.
Ava: So, what? We're not friends anymore? Fine. Then I won't tell you about Dr. Montgomery's s*x bet...with the overly hot Dr. Sloan. Yeah! If he can go 60 days without s*x, they're getting back together. Apparently, they used to be a thing back when she was married to Dr. McDreamy.
Alex: Question is how do you know all that?
Ava: I'm a bed rest five feet from the nurse's station and I have excellent hearing. I know everything. It's...it's like watching a soap. Do you know how many doctors in this hospital Nurse Olivia has slept with? Oh wait...how am I talking to? You're one of them. Anyways, I strongly advise you to move on Dr. Montgomery before you lose your shot. Or I would if we were friends.
Alex: Well, if she wants to be with Sloan...
Ava: Dude! If she wanted to be with Sloan, she'd be with Sloan.
(Bailey and Richard are walking through the hall)
Richard: The other board members have a say in who gets to be chief but Larry...he's the one who really decides. Ok? He knows it and they know it.
Bailey: So, if the attendings find out he's here...
Richard: The man won't get a moment's peace.
(Bailey and Richard walk around the corner and Addison, Mark, Burke and Sloan are standing in the hall outside Larry's room)
All: Chief!
Richard: You have to leave. I want you all out of here, ok? Look, go, go, go. Out!
Mark: All right but you know where to find me.
(Larry's secretary Celeste walks up)
Celeste: Celeste, Larry's assistant. He's in here.
Richard: Ok. Go away.
Addison: But we can help!
Burke: We can help?
Addison: What is that supposed to mean?
Burke: He doesn't have any woman parts.
Derek: Look, it's not like we don't know where he is.
Addison: Right.
Mark: We'd just come back anyway.
Derek: Right.
(They all enter Larry's room)
Larry: Richard, finally. Oh for God's sake what are the four musketeers doing here? What happened to I'll be discreet.
Richard: Larry, they're here for the same reason I am...to see if they can help.
Larry: Right...bunch of ghouls. All right, one of you wants to be the new chief...(he pulls down his pants) fix this and you've got my vote. (They all look stunned and bewildered) And no those are not grapefruits.
Addison: Well...it looks as though you won't be needing my services after all.
(Larry is in the bed being examined)
Bailey: And supra-pubic tenderness.
Larry: That's because I haven't taken a leak in three days. Three days...
Burke: Could be a hernia.
Derek: A hernia wouldn't do that.
Burke: Was there trauma? Testicular torsion? Twisting?
Mark: Twisting? You'd have to tie him in a triple knot to get that kind of fluid build up. Am I wrong?
Larry: I was taking a two-week raft ride down the Amazon.
Burke: Oh, maybe it's a tropical disease. Ocystalsomiasis? Philaryasis?
Larry: Oh, now they're just guessing, Richard.
Richard: Dr. Bailey, call Dr. Fisher in neurology to do a supra pubic cath and order an ultrasound and KEB. Larry have you called Nancy?
Larry: I don't wanna worry my wife unless I have to.
Mark: She wasn't on the trip with you?
(Addison is in the conference room where the cakes are set up)
Addison: White chocolate with vanilla butter cream. (Alex enters)
Alex: Dr. Montgomery?
Addison: Can't decide...triple berry at least has fruit so I could pretend it's healthy.
Alex: Ava's BP is 171 over 118.
Addison: She's pre-eclamptic.
Alex: I ordered a blood test and a bio-physical test on the baby who's fine but Ava's got edema.
Addison: Get her on ammonium hydrolozine.
Alex: What about an epidural...to get her blood pressure down? I mean, am I going overboard or...?
Addison: Believe me, I wish I had someone who cared that much about my blood pressure.
Alex: Yeah well...from what I hear, in 28 days you will.
(Izzie and George are working in the clinic)
James: I have a cold like forever. I've been here three times and they keep telling me it's gonna go away but my nose just won't stop running. I'm like the most disgusting fountain in the world.
Izzie: Sometimes these things just drag on. You might have to wait it out.
James: No, I can't wait anymore. See there's a girl...and we've been out a few times and now it's gotten to the point where we're supposed to...you know, seal the deal. But the nose thing is so gross I can't get anywhere near her.
Izzie: I'm sure if she's really into you, she'll hang in there.
James: No, no, no...you don't understand. Have you ever met someone where the attraction was so intense you thought it may just kill you? You know like your in the same room and your skin is on fire. You wanna touch them so bad...
Izzie: Ok, we get it. We're on the case.
George: Yes, I will do an ENT and you will listen to his...(He stares at Izzie)
Izzie: Chest?
George: Yes.
Izzie: I'm on it.
(Cristina and Meredith are in the hallway studying)
Meredith: Which fluid resuscitation technique is used in acute burns?
Cristina: Packlin formula. Come on Meredith, step it up.
Meredith: What is vertals stria?
(Cristina is looking on at George and Callie talking)
Cristina: Oh, I hate George. He married into the cards. You think he knew? You think that's why he married her?
Meredith: Yeah, that's why he married her.
Cristina: I need those cards.
Meredith: We don't need the cards. What is vertals stria?
(Cristina walks up to Callie)
Cristina: Dr. Torres, Dr. Burke and I are trying to choose a wedding cake and there are some samples in the conference room. If you have a moment, I'd really love your opinion because you have such great taste.
Callie: You're not getting my cards, Yang.
(George walks up to Bailey)
George: Dr. Bailey? You need an intern?
Bailey: Yeah, how's it going...in the clinic, O'Malley? How's Sydney doing?
George: Oh that's...why you wanted to see me? To find out...how things were going?
(Celeste walks up)
Celeste: Dr. Bailey? Can I talk to you for a second?
Bailey: Of course, Ms. Newman. What can I do for you?
Celeste: This is embarrassing. Mortifying actually. I think I need to be tested. Larry and I...whatever Larry has, I probably have it as well.
Bailey: O'Malley, page Dr. Montgomery.
George: Ok.
(Izzie and Sydney are in the clinic)
Sydney: How's it going buddy bud?
Izzie: I'm getting a strep culture on bed nine and discharging Mr. Benton.
Sydney: The gentleman with the sinus issues?
Izzie: It's a runny nose. And I have a test to study for and Bailey doesn't like us to...
Sydney: Ah! Bailey's not here today. Ok, I am. And it's all well and good to open a clinic as some kind of power play for chief resident but chief resident isn't really about big think it's about patient care, ok? So, lets see what we can do to improve Mr. Benton's experience.
Izzie: It's just a cold.
Sydney: Nasal lavage. Because we care.
Izzie: Nasal lavage?
Sydney: Yeah, get yourself a bulb syringe, squeeze an isotomic solution into one of Mr. Benton's nostrils. It'll squirt right out the other side, incredibly restorative. Rinse and repeat...rinse and repeat.
(Celeste's exam room)
Celeste: It's not what you think. I mean it is...it's...it's just not an affair. Though I guess, technically it is. We're in love. The kind of love you think you're never gonna find and then you do and the fact that he's married seems a small price to pay for being happy, you know? At least most of the time but then five years go by and he still hasn't left his wife...you must think I'm a terrible person.
Addison and George: No, no, no.
Addison: No judgment whatsoever.
Celeste: I mean, I know, I should leave him, it's just...do you have any idea how rare it is to find someone you can work and play with. And we love each other. How wrong can it be?
(Larry's room)
Larry: Richard, this thing still hurts like hell and my boys here are not getting any smaller. I wanna know what you're doing about it?
Richard: Well, the urologist just drained your bladder. Next up is an ultrasound and an x-ray. Interns will be taking you...
Larry: No, no, no. I mean, what are you doing for me?
Richard: Getting some of the best surgeons in the world to help you.
Larry: I came here for you. You! You're the best surgeon in this place. At least you used to be.
Richard: What's the matter, Larry? Am I not taking enough care of you?
Larry: How does a man, just lose his desire at 53, 54 or however old you are? How does that happen?
Richard: I haven't, ok? There are other things in life.
Larry: Like what? Adele leaving you? Even more reason to keep the job. You're a surgeon man. I had to go skinny dipping in the Amazon to get that kind of thrill.
Richard: I'm not gonna let you browbeat me into keeping this job.
Larry: Like I'd even want to at this point. When I appointed you chief of surgery, you were hungry. You were the man. Now you're a politician, giving me excuses, handing things off. I hate to think that's the kind of doctor you've become. But if it is, maybe it is best that you're stepping down.
(Bailey enters the room where Cristina and Meredith are studying)
Bailey: I know, I said you could use the day to study but we've got an all hands on deck situation.
Cristina: A bad car accident?
Meredith: Multiple gunshot wounds?
Bailey: A pen1s, Chairman of the board's pen1s.
Meredith: What's wrong with it?
Bailey: His testicles have swollen which is the understatement of the year.
Cristina: Fantastic how much? No, don't tell me. Let it be a surprise.
Bailey: Look, you and Grey can take him for his ultrasound and his x-rays.
Cristina: The VI pen1s.
Bailey: Just go.
(Burke and Derek are in a computer room)
Burke: Elephantisis?
Derek: Mmm-hmm.
Burke: No way Jennings has that. Did you check combrusolosis?
Derek: Could be the beginning of funia's gangrene.
(Mark enters)
Mark: I don't know. I'd go with gonorrhea before I went there. Then again, I'll be there at the finish line to make him pretty, which is what he'll remember. Oh, Derek...
Derek: Mmm-hmm.
Mark: Grey wanted me to tell you that she's still working on Jennings' x-ray and that she'll be in the x-ray viewing room.
Derek: Good to know. She's communicating. Just when I need time to think, she suddenly starts communicating.
Burke: Time to think about what?
Derek: All of it. The relationship, the chief thing, how to juggle them both without getting distracted.
Burke: With Cristina I have to be explicit. There would be no wedding if I wasn't.
Derek: Well, that's not easy though.
Burke: Oh no. I never said it was easy.
Derek: Right.
(Ava is watching the nurse's desk from her room and sees Callie and Addison talking)
Callie: Hey.
Addison: Hey. How's it going?
Callie: I caught George in a lie the other day. He said he spent the day in the clinic when he spent it doing God knows what with Izzie Stevens. It's probably nothing, right?
Addison: Right.
Callie: Right. So how's your man whore? Miraculously reformed?
Addison: For now. He's never going to turn into what I want.
Callie: Which is.
Addison: The whole thing. I want someone stable who barbeques and teaches little kids how to play catch. And is not Mark Sloan. Which doesn't explain why I've spent the entire day looking at Alex Karev like a puppy and a chew toy.
Callie: Why don't you just go there already?
Addison: Because! He doesn't barbeque either. Plus, he's like twelve years old and can fit all of his belongings in a milk crate.
Callie: I don't know. Guys like Karev...at least you know, he'll never lie to you. Guys like him, they mess around in their twenties but then they, you know, pack it in and teach their kids to play catch.
Addison: Maybe. I need to stop thinking about both of them.
Callie: And I have to stop thinking about Izzie Stevens.
Addison: Hey, Callie, here's the thing. When you're obsessing about something like that, there's generally a reason.
(Izzie is in the clinic performing the nasal lavage on Mr. Benton when Bailey comes in)
Bailey: What the hell are you doing?
Izzie: Nasal lavage.
Bailey: Why?
Izzie: Because she's trying to kill me.
(Sydney walks up)
Bailey: Sydney.
Sydney: Dr. Bailey, we've really turned this place around today.
Bailey: Nasal lavage?
Sydney: Four visits in one month?
Bailey: Oh, you questioning my patient care?
Sydney: Miranda, I get it. Ok? You're protecting your turf. Very mama bear, very chief resident. But this is not about hospital politics, this is about the patient.
Bailey: The patient can go home. Get that stuff out of his nose.
Sydney: No, I'm not comfortable discharging him till we've addressing is problem.
Bailey: The 16 patients in the waiting room aren't comfortable either.
Bailey: (To James) Sir...I don't think there's anything else we can do. You know, colds drag on.
James: Yeah, yeah, I hear ya.
(He gets off the bed)
Bailey: Oh hell.
Izzie: What?
(There is blood/fluid on the pillow)
Bailey: That come out of his nose?
James: See? This is why I'm never gonna have s*x again.
Bailey: Wait right here. (To Izzie) Order a head CT.
Izzie: Why? It's not a cold?
Bailey: No, Dr. Stevens. It's definitely not a cold.
(Derek enters the x-ray room where Burke, Mark, Cristina and Meredith are)
Meredith: Hey, just so you know I'll be over here while you're over there, ok?
Derek: Cute.
Meredith: Easy to locate, right?
Derek: Mmm-hmm.
Meredith: Girlfriend comes with a GPS.
Derek: Looks like some kind of foreign object.
Mark: Ouch.
Burke: That almost looks like...
Mark: A skeleton. It's skeleton like, definitely skeletony...
Burke: Are those barbs?
Mark: No...can't be.
Derek: Oh could be.
Meredith: It looks like a teeny tiny catfish.
(Richard enters)
Richard: Close. You see there. Those are spines. This is a candiru fish.
Cristina: A pen1s fish? This guy has the pen1s fish. In his...in his...wow!
(Alex enters Ava's room)
Ava: What the hell did you do to me?
Alex: You know, most pregnant laboring women love their epidurals.
Ava: I'm not in labor.
Alex: I'm trying to keep it that way.
Ava: By paralyzing me from the waist down? I can't even sit up in the bed. I'm missing the show. The Seattle Grace show.
Alex: I can help with that.
Ava: So I guess you're talking to me again.
Alex: Well, I can't stay mad at you. I tried but I couldn't do it.
Ava: You make your move on the redhead?
Alex: I thought you already knew everything that went on in this hospital?
Ava: As a matter of fact, I have an update. I saw her talking to the ortho resident.
Alex: Yeah? And?
(Ava starts seizing)
Alex: You're seizing...She's seizing. Somebody page Dr. Montgomery. Somebody page Dr. Montgomery, now.
(Richard is in Larry's room)
Richard: It's the candiru. It's a freshwater fish that lives in the Amazon. It's a parasite.
Larry: I'm not an idiot; I didn't drink from the Amazon.
Richard: Did you urinate in it?
Larry: No, I...what?
Cristina: The candiru is attracted to blood and urine. It's been known to swim up the stream of urine and lodge itself in a man's urethra.
Larry: You mean a fish swam up...
Richard: It's rare but there are documented cases.
Cristina: One man actually saw it go in and tried to grab it. It was too slippery.
Richard: Yang!
Cristina: It's in the literature.
Larry: So this thing is in my...
Richard: It's now in your bladder. Well, right next to it. It's stuck in your prosthetic urethra, which is causing the obstruction. We need to get it quickly before it causes sepsis.
Larry: Sepsis? You mean I could die?
(Alex is taking Ava through the hall to the OR)
Alex: BP shot up to 202 over 134. There's fetal distress, the epidural didn't help.
Addison: It'll help during delivery.
Ava: What's going on? Alex?
Alex: Your blood pressure spiked, you had a seizure.
Addison: The only way we can reduce your blood pressure and the swelling in your brain is if you deliver the baby right now.
Ava: She's only 30 weeks. I'm not in labor.
Addison: We're gonna do a C-section, Ava. Don't worry, the survival rate for preemies at 30 weeks is extremely high.
Ava: Alex, tell her no. I'm not ready.
Alex: You're ready.
Ava: But I can't do this by myself.
Alex: Well then it's a good thing you're not by yourself. (He takes her hand)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Derek enters the CT room where Izzie and Bailey are looking at the CT results)
Derek: I was doing a consult on the chairman of the board, this better be good. What do we have?
Bailey: Well, we have a patient in the clinic with chronic runny nose, halo sign on the pillow. The fluids are still in the lab but as far as I can tell...
Derek: He's leaking spinal fluid through his nose.
Bailey: Thought you might like this one.
Derek: Ok, look at that. It's a brain herniation. His brain is literally sinking into his skull base.
Bailey: And all along I thought it was a cold.
Derek: Book an OR.
Izzie: Dr. Bailey?
Bailey: Oh no, no. You're still studying. You can watch from the gallery. I'll scrub in with you.
Derek: I thought you were doing Jennings?
Bailey: No, I'll...I'll do both. I sent this guy home three times. I can't not scrub in.
(Ava's OR)
Addison: Your daughter's beautiful Ava.
Ava: She is?
Alex: She is.
Addison: Get her under the warmer right away.
Alex: I'll work on her...
Addison: Hand her off to peds, I need an extra set of hands. Need to hang some blood.
Ava: Why? Why do you need blood?
Alex: Want me to get the uterine arteries? Clamp.
Ava: Alex, what's going on? Alex?
Addison: The bleeding vessels are deep...
Ava: Tell me what's going on.
Addison:...you want to...
Alex: Ligate around the hemostats, I got it.
Ava: Oh my god! Am I gonna die? Oh my god, I'm gonna die.
Alex: Can I?
Ava: I'm gonna die and she's gonna be all alone.
Alex: Ava...Ava...look at me, ok? Look at me! You're not gonna die. You're doing great. You're gonna be fine, you're baby's gonna be fine. I just need you to breathe for me, all right? Nice slow, deep breaths. That's it. Just breathe. Keep breathing.
(George walks up to Celeste in the hall)
George: Celeste, good news. No chance of an STD. Now, Larry's condition...he's having surgery but you're fine. You did hear the part about you being fine, right?
Celeste: That's what I keep telling myself...that I'm fine with things the way they are but I probably won't be really fine until I don't care if he's fine anymore.
(Larry's wife, Nancy, walks up)
Nancy: Celeste, I got here as soon as...is he in surgery yet?
Celeste: Um, no. They're taking him soon. This is Dr. O'Malley.
George: Hi.
Celeste: Dr. O'Malley this is Mr. Jennings' wife, Nancy.
Nancy: Hi.
George: It's a pleasure. He's just in there...they're prepping him for surgery.
Nancy: Thank you. I left my car in front in a no parking zone. Could you move it?
(Nancy hands Celeste the keys and enters Larry's room)
George: What are you going to do?
Celeste: Move her car.
(Cristina, Izzie, George and Meredith are in the conference room)
Meredith: Talk about divine retribution.
Izzie: What?
Meredith: He sleeps with his assistant and a carnivorous fish lodges itself in his pen1s. That's instant karma if I've ever seen it.
Cristina: Yeah, well Derek wasn't struck by lightning and neither were you.
Meredith: Addison showed up. I had months of pain and self-loathing, Crazy ranting mother and a near drowning off the side of a dock. I mean, it's not fish in my hoo-hoo but it's certainly not an easy ride.
Cristina: Yeah, well, I've cheated on my boyfriends and I'm fine. Am I the only one?
George: Which cake is your favorite or have you chosen one yet?
Cristina: Ok, clearly you're not getting the point. I don't have favorite cakes. That's why you're involved.
Meredith: I gotta go. If you see my boyfriend tell him I had some tuna salad and a yogurt and now I'm off to the OR.
Cristina: Hey, this is uh, it's not eating for pleasure. I really need a choice so mark down your favorite.
(Meredith and Cristina leave)
Izzie: Sorry I froze there...a little bit...uh
George: It's ok.
Izzie: I'm not...I'm not getting weird...you know...it was just a weird time...
George: Shut up and eat some cake.
(He shoves cake in her mouth)
Izzie: (Mumbling with her mouth full)
(Callie is standing outside the window watching George and Izzie giggle and have fun together)
George: Good?
Izzie: Disgusting.
George: You got me covered in cake.
(Addison walks up to Alex in the hall)
Addison: Karev.
Alex: Hey, I was just checking up on Ava.
Addison: Do I have another Denny Duquette situation on my hands?
Alex: What? Are you serious?
Addison: I have never seen you so attentive with a patient. You're always there, checking her stats, running tests, doing research.
Alex: It's my job.
Addison: No, it's my job. I'm her doctor you're my intern.
Alex: Which is why I have to know her stats at all times because I'm not about to stand next to you in your OR and be anything less than over prepared. Ok? There's no way I'm going to go to work everyday with a surgeon like you and not be on top of my game. So, if you wanna yell at me...
(Addison starts kissing Alex and pushes him into an on call room and they both start undressing.)
(Cristina walks up to Callie who is standing at the nurse's station)
Cristina: I know you have to give him the cards cause you're married to him; I respect that. But there is an argument to be made for female surgeons sticking together.
Callie: You're relentless.
Cristina: Sisterhood and all that you know.
Callie: Mmm-hmm. Scary...inhuman relentless.
Cristina: You are like a role model...to me...or something.
Callie: Ok, you know what stop. This is just getting sad. I will give the cards to George, I am sure he will share.
Cristina: No he won't...with me anyway. He'll just share them with Izzie. They're like an exclusive little unit...whatever.
(Cristina walks away and Callie calls after her.)
Callie: Yang. My uh...my locker is on the right side, third one from the door. The cards are on the top shelf.
Cristina: Really...you're...?
Callie: They're all yours.
(Addison walks out of the on call room fixing her skirt. A minute later Alex walks out and they bump into each other.)
Addison: Oh god. I'm sorry.
Alex: It's ok.
Addison: I was...
Alex: Yeah...
Addison: So we're good?
Alex: It's good.
Addison: Good. Ok then.
(They walk away and Mark is standing nearby and has watched the whole exchange)
(Izzie enters the elevator not paying attention and Callie follows her in)
Callie: Don't talk. I know it's not fair and I know it's not your fault and I know there's nothing going on between you and George, I know that except there is. You're his best friend. He loves you. He gets you he needs you. And I'm just...I'm his wife. And I know...I get the s*x and the commitment and the life with him but I want him to get me and to need me and I can't compete with you. So I am asking you to please stop...just stop. Find another friend or whatever you do. Just give me my husband back.
(Callie storms out and leaves Izzie standing in the elevator to feel guilty)
(Larry's OR)
Richard: What about the fork stone grasper?
Dr. Fisher: It can lead to urethral injury.
Richard: Well, the forceps aren't working. At this point I'm willing to try anything.
Dr. Fisher: All right, stone grasper.
Richard: Ok.
(Meredith and Cristina enter the OR)
Meredith: (To Mark) Did we miss anything good? (He doesn't respond) Hello? You ok?
Mark: I've had better days.
Richard: Where's Dr. Bailey? Page her.
Richard: V-tach. Does he have a pulse with that?
Cristina: Oh, he's going down.
Burke: Yes. He needs one epi amnioterone. How much longer you think it'll take?
Richard: Oh, you worry about getting his arrhythmia's down. We're gonna have to change our game plan here. The scope isn't working. Excuse me, Dr. Fisher, we're gonna have to open him up.
Dr. Fisher: All right.
(James' OR)
Bailey: I don't know how I missed it.
Derek: It presented as a cold, Miranda. This sort of thing, at some point, you think it's gonna get better. You don't really figure it's something that could ruin your whole life.
(Bailey's pager goes off)
Bailey: The chief.
Derek: Candiru, go ahead we're almost done here.
Bailey: Ok.
Derek: Thank you.
(George enters the gallery where Izzie is)
George: Hey. You wanna quiz me on GI stuff?
Izzie: No, I'm still trying to get through my cardio notes.
George: You ok?
Izzie: I'm fine. I should've snuck into the candiru surgery with Meredith and Cristina.
George: You still can.
Izzie: George, can you, maybe, stop talking so I can concentrate.
George: What's your problem?
Izzie: My problem...is you. You're my pen1s fish.
George: Your what?
Izzie: You've crawled in and latched on and now I can't move or talk or think or even pee without the nagging feeling that something is eating through my organs.
George: You don't even have a pen1s. How am I the fish?
Izzie: It's a metaphor, George.
George: What happened to us being fine?
Izzie: I don't know. Maybe we're not.
(Larry's surgery)
Richard: A little more suction in there. Those barbs won't let go. (Bailey enters) Dr. Bailey, glad you could join us. Oh, this is useless. We're gonna have to cut it out, Dr. Fisher.
Dr. Fisher: I'll repair the bladder.
Richard: Ok, lets do it. How's his heart holding up?
Burke: Occasional runs of v-tach. He can't take much more.
Richard: Forceps. Ok, almost there. Come on you. Almost there. Got it.
Cristina: Holy...
(Everyone makes noises and whispers amongst themselves when Richard holds up the candiru.)
Burke: Unbelievable.
Cristina: You see that thing?
Meredith: Yep.
(Meredith and Mark are in the scrub room)
Meredith: Remind me never to pee in the Amazon. What?
Mark: What do you say we have a real meeting of the dirty mistresses club? Like what it should have been from the beginning.
Meredith: What are you doing?
Mark: Once, twenty minutes in the on-call room, nobody ever finds out.
Meredith: Mark!
Mark: What? You telling me everything's great between you and Derek?
Meredith: What makes you think there is something wrong between me and Derek?
Mark: Something's always wrong between you and Derek.
Meredith: Enough! What is wrong with you?
Mark: Nothing. I'm...I'm...Addison and I were gonna try and make a go of it. Things are not gonna work out.
Meredith: So you make a pass at me like that'll help?
Mark: She doesn't want me. Something's gotta help.
Meredith: Revenge s*x is not the answer. If you're letting her go, let her go. Be an adult.
(Alex enters Jane Doe's room)
Jane Doe: Thanks for the baby...and for me not dying and stuff.
Alex: It's always a nice bonus when the patient doesn't die.
Jane Doe: You and red make a pretty good team.
Alex: Don't tell Sloan.
Jane Doe: Oh, she and Sloan aren't happening. She wants you.
Alex: How do you know that?
Jane Doe: I know everything remember. Heard her talking to the ortho doc about how she wants someone who barbeques and plays catch. She wants someone who's committed.
Alex: Yeah, well, that's not me.
Jane Doe: I hate to tell you this, but it is. You may talk tough but you're a decent guy, Alex. Whether you want to admit it or not, you're actually one of the good ones.
(George walks up to Nancy Jennings in the waiting room)
George: Mrs. Jennings, your husband's out of surgery. Everything went very well.
Nancy: Oh...oh thank you. Thank you. That's...that's wonderful. The doctor will be down to fill you in soon. Dr. O'Malley, do me a favor. Could you go tell Celeste? She's a basket case and I just don't have it in me to take care of my husband's girlfriend right now. (George looks shocked) Of course I know. The wife always knows.
(George is in Larry's room. Nancy is sitting next to his bed reading a book when Celeste enters)
Celeste: Dr. O'Malley?
George: Yes?
Celeste: Mr. Jennings' personal physician would like a copy of his medical records and here's the number.
George: Ok.
Celeste: Mr. Jennings, I've cancelled your appointments for next week. There's just a conference call that's proving a little bit difficult to reschedule but I'm sure Danny can handle it.
Larry: What's...what's Danny go to do with it?
Celeste: I've asked him to step in...temporarily...until you find someone else.
Larry: Wait... wait a second, Celeste. (Celeste leaves) What the hell was that all about?
Nancy: Well, I think she just left you. Good-bye Larry. (Nancy leaves)
Larry: What the hell's going on here?
George: I think I'm done here. (George leaves)
(Burke enters the conference room where Izzie is eating wedding cake)
Izzie: Can you be a vault? I think I need a vault cause I've eaten like...a cake and a half and it's not just not cutting it. And you don't gossip.
Burke: Because nobody tells me anything.
Izzie: I was with a married man. It was...
Burke: I don't mind that nobody tells me anything.
Izzie: It was George. I was with George.
(Burke eats some cake)
Burke: It should be firm inside, not spongy. The frosting, I like. Meringue, light but not to sweet. I always thought chocolate inside but I'm leaning away from that.
Izzie: You've thought a lot about this cake.
Burke: This cake...for this day...with this woman.
Izzie: The red velvets your winner, by the way.
(Meredith enters Derek's trailer)
Derek: What are you doing here?
Meredith: I wanted you to know where I was so I thought I'd come and tell you.
Derek: Now you're mocking me.
Meredith: I'm apologizing to you.
(She kisses his neck)
Derek: You're making light of things.
Meredith: I'm running my fingers through your hair...I'm standing in your bedroom...unbuttoning my shirt...and now I'm taking off my pants...and now...I'm getting in your bed naked.
(Mark walks by Addison on the stairs)
Addison: Mark, we need to um...we should go get a drink...and maybe talk. Do you have some time? I just...something's always wrong...with you and me.
Mark: You don't wanna have a drink with me. I'm not what you're looking for.
Addison: What are you talking about?
Mark: I slept with someone, couldn't hold out. Once a man-whore, always a man-whore, right?
(Richard walks up to Bailey who is writing on the OR board)
Richard: Miranda, go home.
Bailey: I'm almost done.
Richard: Go home see your family. You have to accept there are days when you can't do it all. You have to delegate.
Bailey: I do.
Richard: And then you do all the work anyway. And you're still doing it.
Bailey: You didn't have better things to do today then to ride herd on that VIP case?
Richard: There was a fish in a man's pen1s.
Bailey: There's always gonna be a fish in a man's pen1s, chief. You can say you moving on all you want but are you really?
Richard: If you don't slow down, you might end up without a family to go home to. Good night, Miranda.
(Meredith and Derek are laying in bed)
Meredith: No, see, you can't do that.
Derek: Do what?
Meredith: Not look happy after s*x. It's bad for the ego.
Derek: I'm fine.
Meredith: Are we fine?
Derek: Sure.
Meredith: Not so convincing. I shouldn't have accused you of hovering. It wasn't nice. You were just trying to be there for me. But now I'm being available and communicating and being naked and doing all of your favorite things.
Derek: Mmm, good things.
Meredith: Then why are you still staring at the ceiling?
Derek: I don't know. It's just that...that day...you came out of the water...I spent the scariest hour of my life trying to breathe for you. I love you and I want you but I don't know what to...you didn't swim. You didn't swim and you know how to...and I don't know if I can...I don't know if I wanna...keep trying to breathe for you.
Meredith: I should go. I'll go.
MVO: To often, the thing you want most is the one thing you can't have.
(Cristina and Burke's apartment)
Cristina: What acid based finding do you classically get with significant vomit? Hypokalemic, hypochloremic, metabolic, acilosis. Unbelievable.
Burke: Did you pick a cake?
Cristina: I like the red one.
Burke: The red velvet?
Cristina: Yeah.
(He takes her card from her and kisses her.)
(Izzie and George are outside of James' room where a woman is inside)
George: That's the girl?
Izzie: Runny nose guys big love...I don't know how we do this. I don't know how we work together and be friends and act like it's all-ok.
George: I...there's a spot available at Mercy West...I called them.
Izzie: You're gonna transfer to Mercy West?
George: Yeah, I have to.
MVO: Desire leaves us heartbroken; it wears us out. Desire can wreck your life.
(Alex is in the lobby studying when Addison enters)
Addison: Hey.
Alex: Hey.
Addison: I was gonna go get a drink. You wanna head over to Joe's?
Alex: Yeah...I'm uh...I'm kinda under with this test.
Addison: Ok. You know, um, I took that test once upon a time. We could, um, go back to my hotel. I could quiz you.
Alex: Look...this...this isn't...you're not my girlfriend. Ok?
Addison: What?
Alex: I mean, no offence, today was awesome but...I'm really busy, I have a lot of work. I don't have time for...
Addison: No, of course...uh...study. It's what you're here for, right?
(Addison leaves the building)
MVO: But as tough as wanting something can be...(Addison pauses in front of the hospital)...the people who suffer the most...(Addison turns and looks back at the hospital)...are those who don't know what they want. (Addison walks away)
|
Plan: A: Seattle Grace Hospital; Q: What is the name of the hospital? A: their upcoming exam; Q: What are the interns studying for? A: Cristina; Q: Who is jealous of George? A: Callie; Q: Who does George study with? A: whose learning cards; Q: What has become legendary? A: Izzie; Q: Who does George tell he is considering transferring to a different hospital? A: feelings; Q: What does George and Izzie have for each other? A: The attending physicians; Q: Who vie for the Chief position? A: a patient; Q: What is the chairman of the hospital board? A: a fish; Q: What was found in the chairman's urinary tract? A: his wife; Q: Who asks for a divorce? A: his secretary; Q: Who was the chairman having an affair with? A: a recurring cold; Q: What does Izzie treat in the clinic? A: his early fifties; Q: Webber starts to question his decision to retire as he believes that there is a lot more he can do as a surgeon and cannot be done with his career in what age? A: Burke; Q: Who is trying to pressure Cristina into choosing a flavor for their wedding cake? A: Ava's baby; Q: Who does Addison and Alex deliver a baby for? A: an effort; Q: What does Derek feel he is the only one putting into his relationship with Meredith? Summary: The interns of Seattle Grace Hospital start to use every free minute to study for their upcoming exam which will determine their entire residency in the surgical field. Cristina is jealous of George who can study with Callie, whose learning cards have become legendary. After the realization that George and Izzie might have feelings for each other, Callie decides to give the cards to Cristina. The attending physicians vie for the Chief position by tending to the chairman of the hospital board, after he is admitted as a patient. They soon learn that there is a fish in his urinary tract and learn that his wife has been aware of his affair with his secretary. She eventually resigns and leaves him, and his wife asks for divorce. In the clinic, Izzie treats a patient with a recurring cold, which turns out to be a symptom of something worse. Webber starts to question his decision to retire as he believes that there is a lot more he can do as a surgeon and cannot be done with his career in his early fifties. Cristina gets annoyed at Burke as he tries pressuring her into choosing a flavor for their wedding cake while she is trying to study. Addison and Alex deliver Ava's baby, through a cesarian-section, before sleeping together, but afterwards Alex tells her to make sure that it never happens again. Derek starts to question his relationship with Meredith, feeling that he is the only one putting an effort for it to work out. George tells Izzie that he is considering transferring to a different hospital.
|
SCENE 1 : Repetition Hall's - Will and the Cast Ringtone - Will hanging a poster to recruit in the Glee Club. Finn and Quinn followed in chorus by the Cast- Song : Don't Stop Belivin'
In the repetition hall's, Will rehearsed the cast with couple lighthouse Quinn and Finn. Suddenly, Quinn nausea and leaves.
Will : Quinn, you OK? Quinn ran out.
Finn : I think she just had a bad breakfast burrito.
Kurt : Can we please talk about the giant elephant in the room?
Santana : Your sexuality?
Kurt : Rachel. We can't do it without her.
Will : That's not true. We may have to layer Santana Mercedes over Quinn's solo, but...we'll be fine.
Artie : Maybe for the invitationals, but not for the sectionals and certainly not the regionals.
Puck : The wheelchair kid's right. That Rachel chick wants me wanna light myself on fire, but she can sing.
Will : Rachel left, guys. She's gone. If we want to make this thing work, we can't look back. Alright, take five minutes. Will goes to the piano while the Glee Club gathers. Finn, he goes to Will.
Finn : Mr Shue? I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but with all the dancing around that Quinn's doing, I'm kind of worried about the baby.
Will : Yeah. Yeah, I get it. Um... how about I give Tina a few of her verses, okay?
Finn : Okay.
Will : You think you might want to tell your mom about what's going on?
Finn : I think I'd rather handle it myself right now. My mom's got enough to worry about. Will is helpless in the situation.
SCENE 2 : Restaurant - Will, Terri and the server Will and Terri moved to a table, while Terri swallows tons of cakes.
Will : How come you haven't had any morning sickness? Quinn Fabray has been upchucking every 15 minutes.
Terri : Really? That's a really good sign. That means the baby's not a Mongoloid.
Will : Well, is it bad that you haven't been sick then?
Terri : Oh, no, honey, no, no. You should ask Howard Bamboo about my Linda Blair impersonations every half hour at work. Terri smiled at Will worried.
Will : I don't know what I'm gonna do about this whole Rachel thing. Server approach.
Server : Hey. Would you like anything else?
Terri : Another piece of grasshopper pie.
Server : What, are you going for the record?
Terri : I'm with child. The server notes the command embarrassed.
Will : Hey, did you go to McKinley High? I think I had you in my Spanish class.
Server : Yeah, like, five years ago. I go to Carmel now.
Will : How is that possible? You must be 22.
Server : (Laughs) ... Twenty-four. I'm a sixth-year senior. They keep failing me so I can stay in Vocal Adrenaline.
Will : They fail you on purpose?
Server : Yeah.
Will : Is that legal?
Server : I'm the only one who can do the triple flip.
Terri : Yeah. Hey, how about that other piece of pie?
Server : How about it. The server goes in front of shocked Will. Then, Will uses a piece of pie on the plate Terri always thoughtful.
Terri : Honey, are you all right?
Will : ... Yeah. Fine. Will smiles.
SCENE 3 : Emma office's - Finn, Emma and Will Finn sat facing Emma tense.
Finn : So... have I done something wrong... or...?
Emma : Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not. No, um, actually, I've just, um, taken a special interest in you. Look, I know sometimes that life can come at you pretty fast, and, uh, you reach a point where you might just need a little, um, special guidance.
Finn : Has someone told you something about my personal life?
Emma : No. Mm-mm.
[Flash Back]
Moments earlier, Will in the office talking to Emma.
Will : Can you keep a secret?
[Back to reality]
Emma : But, you know, there are very few students that ever get athletic scholarships. Okay? But there are a lot of schools that give full rides to students who excel in music. Students like yourself. And I don't know, maybe if you were able to go to college, you wouldn't, say, end up stuck in this town in a dead-end job living hand- to-mouth with a wife and a kid you never intended to have, you know? For example. That's just something off the top of my head.
Finn : So you think if I stuck with Glee that I could get a scholarship?
Emma : It's definitely a possibility. You know? And if you did well at regionals, maybe you could, um, generate some interest.
Finn : But we lost Rachel. Do you think we can do it without her?
Emma : Sure.
[Flash Back]
Moments before, Emma and Will talking in the corridors.
Will : Do you think we can win regionals without Rachel?
Emma : Well, remember the Jamaican bobsled team? Big long shots. Emma went away.
[Back to reality]
Emma smiling face Finn worried.
Emma : ... Definitely. But if you're concerned about your future and, um, those who may be a part of your future soon, um, maybe you could just give Rachel a talk. You know, see if you can get her to come back. Finn nodding while the school bell rang.
SCENE 4 : Repetition Hall's - Jacob, Rachel, Sandy and Finn Rachel interview by Jacob for the Gazette's high school at the microphone.
Jacob : How does it feel to be just a sophomore and get the lead in the school musical?
Rachel : It's an honor. Frankly, one I feel I've earned. If there's anything I've learned in my 16 years on the stage, it's that stars are rare, and when they're found, you have to let them shine. Jacob stop recording.
Jacob : ... Mm. Show me your bra.
Rachel : You mean the one I'm wearing?
Jacob : Quid pro quo, Rachel. If you want a good review, show me your over the shoulder boulder holder.
Rachel : No way. You can't do that. My performance will stand on its own. Besides, no one reads the school paper, anyway.
Jacob : Oh, but I'll post my scathing review online. You'll be finished on the high school stage. Now, get those sweater puppies out of their cashmere cage. Rachel rising annoyed.
Jacob : Mm... At this time, Sandy enters the room running.
Sandy : Sorry I'm late. My Vespa had a flat.(Jacob got up and arranging his affairs.)Give me a minute and I will be ready for my interview.
Jacob : We're actually not gonna need any quotes from you for the article, Mr Ryerson. Do the right thing. All the great actresses take their clothes off.
Sandy : Well, I have no problem with nudity. Let me tell you about « My planned production of Equus. » Have you ever hung out at a stable? Sandy was driving Jacob out, as Rachel sits down. Finn enters the room and sees Rachel.
Finn : Hey, what are you doing?
Rachel : Nothing. Uh, just... getting the star treatment I didn't get in Glee.
Finn : Totally.
Rachel : It's times like this where I know I've chosen the right path. I'm never going back to Glee. It's clear my talent is too big for an ensemble. Finn approached her.
Finn : Not gonna get an argument from me.
Rachel : I'm not?
Finn : No. You're, like, the most talented person I know. Even more than that guy at the mall who can juggle chain saws. I just wanted to let you know that if you need someone to run lines with, I'm available.
Rachel : Th ....There is a lot of dialogue.
Finn : I figured... we could go somewhere quiet, maybe with low lighting and... Let me know. Finn goes off leaving Rachel with a smile.
SCENE 5 : Will office's - Will and Emma Emma sits opposite to Will with a folder in his hand.
Emma : I could get fired for this.
Will : She was a student 15 years ago. No one is gonna care.
Emma : Okay. Emma, hesitant, he reluctantly gives the folder. Then, Will, impatient, browse the folder with a smile.
Will : I....I knew it. She never graduated. She....she quit with, like, three credits to go.
Emma : Will. Yeah, I, um, I saw her picture in the folder. Pretty.
Will : Pretty? Mm. April Rhodes was a goddess. The most talented performer in McKinley Glee Club history. When she sang, it was mesmerizing. She was my first crush.I was a freshman,...
Emma : Wait...
Will : ... she was a senior.
Emma : Wait, hold on, 'cause I thought you said your wife was your first crush.
Will : Well, yeah, that's because April didn't even look at me. Aw, crap, there's no forwarding address.
Emma : S....So then you've....you've had feelings for someone other than your wife.
Will : Emma, I'd love to play This Is Your Life, but... (Typing on his computer.) Lord Google demands my attention. Emma rising.
Emma : Okay, just wait....wait. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Um, reaching back into your past is a dangerous business, okay? People can change. They can, um, disappoint you...
Will : I think I can handle it.
Emma : I thought I could, too. Just hear me out, hear me out. A few years ago, I started an online flirtation with a high school flame Andy. Things got weird, and I called it off. And two months later... ...Versace was dead. Dead. Will returning to his computer.
Will : Okay.... April Rhodes... Ohio. Oh! She has a MySpace page.
Emma : Oh, God. Emma placing behind Will.
Will : Oh, and here's a link to her own personal Web site. She's online. "Hi, April."Not sure if you remember me, but my name is Will Schuester."
Emma : 35 Bontempo Road, between 2:00 and 3:00.
Will : Oh! Oh!
Emma : Bring buffalo wings.
SCENE 6 : April House's- Will, April and the agent Will be guarantor outside her home. Then he goes to his door and rings. It opens the door.
Will : April.
April : Hello. Are you Will?
Will : Y...You remember me?
April : Mm. No, but I don't remember breakfast. Will and April, drunk, laughing.
April : Come on in. Will enters a huge house.
April : So, did I sleep with you?
Will : Uh, I was a freshman when you were a senior.
April : So, did I sleep with you?
Will : No.
April : Can I get you a drink? I just cracked open a fresh box of wine. Will, surprised, follows her.
Will : This is a-a great place you have. Uh, looks like you're doing well for yourself.
April : I get about five or six appointments on a good day from my World Wide Web page, so I do okay for myself. April, returning with two glasses of wine and a smile.
April : Why don't you have a seat, take off that jacket, and I'm gonna slip into something a little more comfortable. Three people entered the house this moment.
Will : Mm! ...
Agente : So, this is a beautiful five-bedroom The agent and the couple were surprised to find people in the house.
Agente : ....with wood-burning fireplace and.... You. This is the third time this week.
Will : Who are you?
Agente : I'm Sandra with Oakcrest Realty. And she is a squatter. This is a bank- owned property. The owners foreclosed six months ago.
April : Let me just get my vino, and I'll be out of your hair. Hold that.
Will : Okay. April went away.
Will : (Smiling) .... Just... Nice place. Moments later, Will and April out on the sidewalk. While that April is used again to drink.
Will : Can I ask you a question?
April : Yeah.
Will : What happened to you, April? In high school, you were really going places. You had a voice like a dream; everyone loved you.
April : Oh. Oh, I hitched my star to the wrong wagon. Me and my high school sweetheart Vinny were convinced we were going to be stars, so we dropped out of school and hitchhiked our way to the Broadway. Will laughs.
April : Then we ended up in Cleveland slinging hash at Ralph's Bait Shop and Waffle House. Then Ralph had an affair with Vinny. I had a set of mixed-race twins. And those were the good times. .... (Chuckles)... (Sighs)...
Will : April... I think your struggle is really moving. And I want to help you get back on your feet. I happen to know that you're only three credits shy of your diploma. I can put you in my Spanish class. And... I know you're an amazing singer. I want you to be in the glee club. We'll get you sobered up... find you some underwear. It's not too late for you, April. What do you say? April, happy, spills his drink.
SCENE 7 : Repetition Hall's - Will, April and the Cast Will facing the Glee Club with her friend, April.
Will : Guys, I'd like to introduce you to someone very special. This is April Rhodes. She's our newest member. April is very enthusiastic.
Finn : Wait, so old people can join Glee Club now?
April : Old, huh? You guys look like the world's worst Benetton ad.
Will : Mm. Mm....
Artie : (Raising hand) Mr Schuester, this seems like a terrible idea.
Will : April is a great singer. And she never graduated.
Mercedes : We appreciate what you're trying to do, but she's no Rachel.
April : Who's Rachel?
Tina : Sh....She's kind of our star.
April : Your star, eh? Well, where is she?
Kurt : She left. to be the lead in Cabaret.
April : Hey, Tinkles, give me "Maybe This Time" in B flat. And don't let me catch you snoozing. April and Rachel - Song : Maybe This Time
April, pointing to what she can do Cast. While Rachel, meanwhile, repeated his musical. At the end of the song, while the Glee Club was so impressed that Kurt was in tears.
April : Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
SCENE 8 : Classroom - Will and April Will, in full Spanish course, questioning students on the court.
Will : So, if I were to say, "I'm going to Mexico for the day," would I use "por" or "para"? April raised her hand.
April : Mm...
Will : April.
April : « Para ».
Will : « Por ».
April : Oh. I guess I better pour myself another Crantini. The students are laughing face Will embarrassed and worried that APRIL then smiled and drank his glass.
April : I'm just kidding. It's hot chocolate. Ring.
Will : All right, remember, guys, oral reports Wednesday. April, can I talk to you for a second? Students leaving out Will and April alone.
April : I'm sorry, Will. The old noodle just ain't what she used to be. I huffed a lot of upholstery cleaner in the '90s
Will : Look, April, I've been, uh, talking to the glee kids, and, um, I think they're still not so sure about having you around. You draw a lot of attention to yourself. And they're embarrassed enough as it is. So do you think you could maybe take some time and try to win them over? April smiling.
SCENE 9 : Repetition Hall's - April and Kurt April drinking Kurt .
April : Yeah.
Kurt : Mm, smells like my Aunt Mildred.
April : Just drink it. Kurt running.
Kurt : Sweet. With a bit of an afterburny taste.
April : Oh, good Chablis should always have a little bite. Now, a few swigs of that every day before school, and you'll have all the courage you need to be yourself. April pinching her cheeks.
Kurt : Really?
April : Oh, yeah.
Kurt : That's fantastic.
April : Mm, so is my primo collection of vintage muscle magazines. Want them? April handing him the books he took with love.
SCENE 10 : Corridor - Kurt and Will Ring - Kurt, with these magazines, speaks with Kurt.
Kurt : Mr Schuester, I changed my mind. April should stay. I worship her. Kurt goes leaving Will, aghast.
SCENE 11 : Repetition Hall's - April, Mercedes and Tina April showing the girls how to put objects hidden between their legs. But things fall.
April : Oh, no, you got to be more natural.
Tina : I c...can't do this.
Mercedes : I don't understand why we're doing this in the first place.
April : Your lack of imagination astounds me. This is only the beginning. If you can master this, you can sneak anything out of a store between your knees. April, mini-skirt, slips a cabbage between those thighs and walk.
April : Shoes, prom dresses. I once got a cake out of a kid's birthday party. With the candles still lit. Tina and Mercedes smiling facing April.
SCENE 12 : Will Office's - Will, Tina and Mercedes Will, anxious face to Tina and Mercedes restyled.
Will : Are you sure?
Mercedes : She can stay.
Tina : T...t....Totally.
SCENE 13 : Cloakroom and corridor - April and Puck
April, the boys in the locker room, taking a shower with Puck. Moments later, in the corridors, she jokes with the whole football team with Puck.
April : Ah! Ah! Ah! ... Don't tickle me. Will she passes, stunned by this change in behavior of Glee Club.
SCENE 14 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel Rachel singing a song to Sandy dissatisfied.
Sandy : This is terrible..... This is a disaster..... I'm gonna barf. ...Boring!.... No, no, no, no, no! Rachel stops singing.
Rachel : I don't know what you want.
Sandy : Well, I know what I don't want. And it is all of this. When I gave you this part, I thought you could handle it, but clearly you can't. What this show needs is a star with a little bit more maturity.
Rachel : I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to quit, so you can be the star. Well, it won't work. I'm not going anywhere. Rachel goes to Sandy, stunned.
Sandy : .... I'll say.
SCENE 15 : Repetition Hall's - Finn, Rachel, April and Will Finn and Rachel repeating the musical by Rachel.
Rachel : I'm sleeping with him.
Finn : So am I... (Surprised, he drops the text.) This play's weird.
Rachel : That's Mr. Ryerson's favorite line. You're a really good actor, Finn. Maybe you should consider joining the musical.
Finn : I'm pretty devoted to Glee. I don't think I could just walk away from it. I know how hard it was for you. But I could justify doing both if you came back. But we both know that's not gonna happen. Finn approaching her.
Finn : ... Do you know what we should do?
Rachel : Elope?
Finn : What?
Rachel : Nothing.
Finn : We should go bowling. You're always so stressed out about the play. You just need to loosen up....(Trying his hand at her side at the piano.). I always go bowling whenever I'm worked up about a big game or something.
Rachel : Just us?
Finn : Yeah.
Rachel : Yeah, that....that....that would be great. I....I am really stressed out. But that's the price you pay for being a star. Suddenly, April and Will enter.
April : Don't I know it.
Will : Hey,Rachel. April Rhodes, Rachel Berry. Hey, can you give us the room, Rachel? We need to teach April the cues for "Don't Stop Believing."
Finn : Wait, she's singing the female lead?
Rachel : Wait, she's in the glee club? She's... ancient.
April : Talent doesn't age, sweetheart.
Finn : That's Rachel's part, Mr Shue.
Will : Well, Rachel's not in the glee club anymore.
Rachel : Thanks, Finn. Rachel went away.
Will : Rachel... We're all really excited to see the play. Make sure you save us a seat in the front row. April moved while Rachel goes away, annoyed.
April : Me, me, me, me, me, me, me
Finn : You....you.....you....you....you... Rachel looking through the glass unhappy.
SCENE 16 : Corridor - Kurt and Emma Ring - Kurt, drunk, arrived at his locker. Then Emma perceives and feels the smell of alcohol. She approaches him.
Emma : Kurt? Hi. Kurt's face turns pale and wan.
Emma : Kurt. I'm a girl who knows her solvents, and your breath smells like rubbing alcohol. Kurt approximating it from getting worse.
Kurt : Oh, Bambi. I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy. Kurt vomiting on the shoes of Emma.
Emma : Oh! ....
SCENE 17 : Rest Room - Will and Emma Emma, petrified into the room and joined Will seated.
Will : Hey, Em. Just trying to figure out the set list for Saturday.
Emma : I just got back from the emergency room. Had them give me four decontamination showers. I think they call that "the full Silkwood."
Will : What happened?
Emma : Kurt was drunk and he ralphed on me. Not really fessing up to how he got the booze just yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not a fake ID, because he looks like an 11-year-old milkmaid. Will, I think it was April. Her backpack's always clinking with empties.
Will : I'm so sorry. I....I will, I'll talk to him.
Emma : Okay.
Will : Mm... (Sighing) Emma sat down.
Emma : I'm, um, I'm a little bit worried about the glee club.
Will : So am I. I mean... (sighs) if we don't place at regionals, it...it's all over.
Emma : We have obligations as teachers, Will, to give kids opportunities for growth and enrichment. With April in Glee, you're taking away a kid's chance to grow, and you're giving it to someone whose brain is soaked in corn booze.
Will : April's not finished, Emma. And if Glee's gonna win, I need to give her a second chance. She is a talented performer and I really think that the kids are going to learn a lot of valuable technique from her.
Emma : Okay. But I think you need to think about... why you're doing this and what you're willing to sacrifice to get it. Emma went away leaving Will meditate on these words.
SCENE 18 : Repetition Hall's - Sandy and Rachel Sandy, angry typing stick to Rachel again.
Sandy : (Screaming)... You...suck!
SCENE 19 : WC - Rachel and April Rachel weeping face in the mirror when between April.
April : Oh... Rough day at the office, cookie?
Rachel : I've just got a lot on my plate. It's not easy being in the spotlight.
April : Mm... (Now disguised)
Rachel : It's the difficult road I've chosen.
April : Yeah. I know that song, sister. Um, do you have any NyQuil? I could use a little pick-me-up. Rachel, frightened, shaking his head.
April : No. These high school boys are a lot hotter than they used to be. That Finn Hudson is one cutie pie I gots my eye on.
Rachel : Finn's taken, April.
April : Yeah, well, some guys like a little somethin'...somethin' on the side.
Rachel : I think your behavior is totally inappropriate and your presence in this school is a complete travesty. What you choose to do with your life is your own business, but don't go around screwing up everyone else's.
April : I'm not afraid of you, sweetie. There was a time when I was the biggest star around here. And now that I've got that back... I'm never letting it go. April goes off leaving Rachel alone.
SCENE 20 : Bowling - Rachel, Finn, Will and April Rachel face the balls, hesitantly, speaks with Finn.
Rachel : Do I have to put my fingers in the holes? Couldn't there be diseases in there or something?
Finn : Oh, no. Ball sharing's all part of the fun. Finn taking a pink ball and handing him.
Finn : ... Here, use the pink one. Pink's your favorite color, right?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Rachel, smiling, takes.
Rachel : Now what?
Finn : Follow my lead. Rachel and Finn settling face bowling. Finn behind her, placing his arms.
Finn : Okay, so... Just look at the pins. Nice and straight. Rachel, helped by Finn, throwing the ball that lands in the reserve. Finn laughs.
Finn : You sure this is your first time? Finn carting but she smiled. For their part, April plays and scores a strike against Will enthusiastic.
Will : Oh, ho....ho! April!
April : Woo-hoo!
Will : You see what you can accomplis when you're sober?
April : Sober? I'm rolling on a fistful of horse tranquilizers. I can't feel my lips. (laughing) Oh, you know... I think I'm going to keep these shoes. ( Drinking) Will more and more exasperated.
Will : April... I brought you here because I need to talk to you.
April : Okay.
Will : I'm concerned that you're a bad influence on the glee club. I can't have you around if you're going to continue to encourage them to make bad choices. April, surprisingly, is silent for a moment.
April : .... Well, you're right, Will. As of right now, I'm back on the wagon. April, giving him his glass.
Will : Really? That's great. Both laugh.
Will : I have to tell you something. I was in awe of you in high school. I mean, of all the roads I never traveled in my life, the one I regret the most was never... getting the chance to sing with you.
April : Really?
Will : Yeah. I mean, that's how you get better, you know? Singing with people who are better than you.
April : You really thought that much of me?
Will : April .... You are the reason I joined Glee Club.
April : No....(Embarassed) ... So, your dream was always to sing with me, huh?
Will : Yeah.
April : Well, then, come on.
Will : What?
April : Come on! April involving Will karaoke bowling. She handing him a microphone
Barry : Hey, April, karaoke's on Wednesdays....tonight's bingo.
April : Shut your gravy hole, Barry.
Will (Micro) : Hey, guys, uh, happy gambling. Here we go. Will and April - Song : Alone On stage at karaoke, Will and April singing a duet with an audience very satisfied and reluctant to as.
April : Thank you! Will takes it in the arm with an audience who applauded warmly. While on their side, Rachel and Finn are at the table eating a pizza.
Rachel : This is really good pizza.
Finn : Mm... Yeah. I think they import the pepperoni from, like, Michigan or something.
Rachel : How's Glee?
Finn : Oh, well, everybody misses you.
Rachel : They miss my talent.
Finn : No, no. We're your friends. We just miss having you around.
Rachel : I love Glee, I just... don't see the point in wasting my énergies on someplace that I'm not appreciated.
Finn : I appreciate you. Finn rising sharply and handing him a ball.
Finn : It's your last ball. Rachel rising in turn to join him.
Finn : Just like the first time, but better. Rachel, ready, kiss the ball and throws it. She managed a strike.
Rachel : Ah! ... Rachel was ecstatic, jumping around in the arms of which Finn. Suddenly, she kisses him.
Finn : Come back to Glee.
Rachel : What about Quinn?
Finn : I don't know what's going to happen in the future. I just know that I want to spend more time with you now.
Rachel : I'll....I'll have to quit the play. I'll do it! Finn, surprised, takes her in his arms.
SCENE 21 : Repetition Hall's - Cast The cast talking in a corner all cases Quinn.
Tina : She is strange.
Kurt : Maybe Quinn is lactose intolerant.
Artie : That doesn't explain all the crying.
Tina : Maybe she just doesn't like the group. Puck, annoyed, listen away.
Puck : Are you all that stupid? Seriously? I bet you thought Bert and Ernie were just roommates. Maybe Quinn's got one in the oven. Everyone is shocked.
Mercedes : Who's the baby's daddy?
Puck : Who do you think? Finn. Rachel, happy at that moment between.
Rachel : Yes, you've heard right....I am returning to Glee Club. In lieu of flowers, please send all donations to a socially conscious charity of your choice.
Mercedes ( Whispering) : This is a hot damn mess.
Santana ( Whispering) : Oh! My God!
Rachel : Uh, I'm sorry; I thought I'd be welcomed back with a tad more enthusiasm.
Kurt : Sorry, Glee Club has just been rocked with its first scandal.
Mercedes : Quinn's knocked up.
Kurt : And the baby daddy? Finn. Rachel, completely stunned, feels wrong.
SCENE 22 : Emma Office's - Finn and Emma Finn, happy, hands over files to Emma.
Finn : I just wanted to drop off the application for that scholarship you were telling me about. I got Rachel to come back to Glee, so, I figure we have a real shot at it.
Emma : I'm so proud of you. See what you can accomplis when you set your mind to it?
SCENE 23 : Corridor - Rachel, Finn and Sue Finn, happy, Rachel crosses, pissed.
Rachel : Finn. Rachel slaps him.
Rachel : You're a liar. Why didn't you tell me Quinn was pregnant?
Finn : Who told you?
Rachel : Everyone knows but me. I'm the only fool who went out with you and let you kiss me, thinking you actually had feelings for me.
Finn : But I....I do. Look, yeah, I haven't been totally honest with you, but that's different than lying.
Rachel : Mm... (Sighing)
Finn : Well, maybe it's not that much different, but... but look, I need to get a music scholarship, so I can go to college, so I can get a good job, so I can take care of my kid and I can't do that if you don't come back to Glee Club. You should take it as a compliment.
Rachel : You could have just been honest with me.
Finn : ... Look, I know what I did was wrong. I get that, but... that kiss was real.
Rachel : Whatever it was, it ruined any chance of me ever coming back to Glee. I hope you have fun playing house with Quinn while you languish in your little ensemble, but my dreams are bigger than that and they're bigger than you. Rachel goes to find Sue.
Rachel : Miss Sylvester. We need to talk. If you'd like to to return to the musical, changes need to be made.
Sue : Well, Rachel, I couldn't agree with you more. You know, when I heard Sandy wanted to write himself into a scene as Queen Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious. I hereby grant you complete artistic control. Congratulations, kiddo. Rachel smiled and Sue.
Sue : ... You now have everything you could possibly want. Isn't it a great feeling? Sue goes off leaving Rachel perplexed.
SCENE 24 : Repetition Hall's - Cast, Will, April and Emma The cast repeating piano.
Cast : Mia.... Mia....Mia .... Mia .... Mia...........Mia....Mia.... Mia.... Mia....Mia.... Will interrupts.
Will : The house is packed... you guys are going to kick butt tonight. Your first performance in front of a real audience. I can't wait. You guys are going to love it. The cast smiled at Will.
Will : Where...Where's April? April arriving drunk.
April : Yee-haw! (laughing) Right on cue, as usual. Hey, roller-boy. Handsome. Oh, I like that color. Have you been working on the, uh, moves we talked... You've got something right there, on your... April embracing Puck. Will it back up.
April : Uh, oh... Honk! There's my boy.
Will : Are you drunk? You promised me you'd sober up for this.
April : When? Last night? Well, I was drunk. You can't hold me to that. Emma enter.
Emma : Hum! Hum! Will.
April : Hit it, knuckles. You... You....You...You...You... Will and Emma out for a moment in the corridor to talk.
Emma : April Rhodes almost ran me over in the parking lot just now, Will. You can't let her go on in her condition.
Will : There is an auditorium full of people waiting to see us perform and if she doesn't go on, none of the kids can.
Emma : Wow. It's really great how committed you are to these kids. Emma goes against Will, exasperated.
SCENE 25 : Auditorium - Figgins, le Cast and April Figgins front of the room talking.
Figgins (Micro) : Now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome McKinley High School's New Directions. The audience applauds the stage door. April et le Cast - Song : Last Name Despite the fact that April is drunk on stage, the cast performs a fine performance in front of a captivated audience.
SCENE 26 : Corridor - Will and April Will, waiting in front of the girls' bathroom, so that April stops vomiting. Moments later, April leaves the toilet but Will intercepts.
April : Mm... Mm...
Will : I need to talk to you.
April : Sorry. Baby had to tinkle. Come on. Act two.
Will : No, I can't let you go back out there. You broke a promise.
April : ... You're right. It's a great moment for me, but it didn't feel right. I don't belong up there. But everybody desserves their moment in the spotlight, you know, to shine? Oh, I got that standing ovation, Will. And it felt amazing. Like every bad decision I'd ever made just went away. I was back in the game. But then I look over and I see these sweet faces of these kids and I think... "I'm hogging their sunshine. It's their turn now, not yours." Will nodded.
April : ... They're so Lucky to have you, Will, because you won't let what happened to me ever happen to any of them.
Will : So, where you gonna go?
April : Well, um... I'm going to straighten up. Maybe try to find a new dream. You know, I always loved the Broadway.
Will : The Broadway. Both laugh.
April : Do you think there's a part out there for a washed-up has-been like me?
Will : April, you are not washed-up. And hey, there's always Branson.
April : Will ... Will ... Will ... April gives him a kiss on the cheek, happy when he takes her in his arms.
Will : Thank you.
April : Oh... (wry laugh) No, no, no. Thank you. April away from him.
April : Branson, eh? Will, happy, observed without going.
SCENE 27 : Wings - Cast and Will All the cast dressed for the second half when Will enters. Artie falls on him.
Artie : They loved us! We're a hit.
Tina : Wh...Wh...Where's April?
Kurt : You were right, Mr Shue. She'd massacre Mariah in a diva-off.
Will : April is amazing. But she's not in the glee club anymore. Everyone is surprised.
Will : It... I, uh... I screwed up bringing her here. It was about me and Glee Club is supposed to be about you guys. You don't need her to be great.
Mercedes : But we need her for the second act.
Will : I'll just have to go out there and tell them we had to cut the show short. Everyone is disappointed.
Will : Hey, guys. You were great. Don't worry. Rachel enters at that moment.
Will : There will be other performances.
Rachel : Excuse me? I think I might have a solution. In show business, when a star can't perform, her understudy steps in. I'd be happy to go in for April, if you'd let me.
Mercedes : Since when are you willing to be an understudy?
Rachel : Since I quit the play.
Kurt : Really? Why?
Rachel : I realized being a star didn't make me feel as special as being your friend. If I'd let you down when you needed me the most, I'd never forgive myself. I know all the words to the song.
Quinn : You don't know the choreography. Santana approving.
Finn : Then we're going to have to give her a lot of help out there. Finn smiling to Rachel.
Will : Go get in your costume.
SCENE 28 : Auditorium - Cast and Will Will joining Emma next to her seat.
Will : Excuse-me! Emma, concerned when the cast joins the scene.
Cast - Song : Somebody to love The entire New directions a hit on stage in front of an appreciative audience and won that Emma is very excited.
|
Plan: A: a twelfth member; Q: What does Will need to find? A: Rachel; Q: Who left the glee club to join the school musical? A: former glee club star April Rhodes; Q: Who does Will recruit to replace Rachel? A: Finn flirts; Q: What does Finn do to try to get Rachel to return to the glee club? A: a music scholarship; Q: What does Finn hope to gain by having Rachel in the club? A: Rachel bowling; Q: Who does Finn take bowling? A: a crush; Q: What did Will confess to having on April? A: Invitationals; Q: What is the name of the competition the glee club performs at? A: the show choir competition circuit; Q: What circuit do the glee club perform on? A: Terri; Q: Who does Will ask about morning sickness? A: the room; Q: Where does Quinn run out of? A: Don't Stop Believing; Q: What song does the glee club perform at Invitationals? A: the kids; Q: Who has to find out who will replace Rachel? Summary: Will, trying to find a twelfth member in the wake of Rachel's defection to the school musical, recruits former glee club star April Rhodes . Finn flirts with Rachel continuously in an attempt to convince her to return, hoping that having her in the club will increase his chances of gaining a music scholarship. While Finn takes Rachel bowling, they kiss briefly after Rachel bowls a strike. Although Rachel is angry when she discovers that Quinn is pregnant, she ultimately rejoins the club. Will confesses to once having had a crush on April, and encourages her to sober up and pursue her dreams of performing on Broadway. The glee club performs at Invitationals, launching themselves onto the show choir competition circuit. Will asks Terri why she never has morning sickness and Quinn runs out of the room during "Don't Stop Believing" and the kids have to find out which member will replace Rachel.
|
[Scene: Restaurant. Phoebe and Jason are sitting at a table, kissing. A waiter walks up to the table and clears his throat.]
Waiter: Pardon me.
(Phoebe laughs, embarrassed.)
Phoebe: Hi. Sorry, I didn't see you there.
Waiter: Oh, no, no, please, never apologise for a kiss, signora. Especially for one like that. (He shows them a bottle of wine.) '95 brunello di montalcino.
Jason: Great. Decant it, please.
Waiter: Of course.
(The waiter walks away.)
Phoebe: Oh, wow, is that embarrassing.
Jason: You heard what the man said, never apologise.
Phoebe: I'm so happy for you.
Jason: Yeah, I still can't believe it. Really, I wanted to buy my granddad's winery ever since he lost it. I just hope he knows that somehow.
Phoebe: Believe me, he does.
Jason: You talk as if you have inside information.
Phoebe: Well, maybe I do.
Jason: You are special, Phoebe.
(Phoebe gets a vibe.)
Phoebe: I love you too.
Jason: I'm sorry?
Phoebe: Who said that?
Jason: Did you say too?
Phoebe: No, I just said you twice. I said I love you you. What I said, oh god... (She knocks over a wine glass.) Whoa!
Male Voice: Daniel, table three.
(Daniel walks over and wipes up the spill. Paige orbs in near by.)
Phoebe: Oh, thanks.
(Paige walks over to them.)
Paige: Hi.
Phoebe: Paige.
Paige: I am so sorry to interrupt but Piper's kind of got a bit of a, um, a power problem. She kind of needs some more.
Jason: Why doesn't she just call the power company?
Paige: Tried and the line is busy. So if you could come like, right now, she'd really love it.
Phoebe: Oh, oh, please don't use that word. Please don't use that. (Phoebe stands up.) Okay, alright, so I should go and we will, you know...
(Phoebe starts backing back.)
Jason: Talk.
Phoebe: Talk, yeah. (Phoebe backs into a waiter holding a tray full of food.) Sorry. I'm sorry. Sorry! Okay.
Paige: Okay.
(Phoebe and Paige head for the door.)
Phoebe: (to a man) Oh, the stuffed shells, great choice. Okay. Bye everyone.
[Scene: Alley. Piper is there. She is watching a creature standing over a demon. The demon is screaming in pain. Phoebe and Paige orb in.]
Paige: Okay, let's vanquish this demon.
Piper: Shh. Something beat us to the punch.
Phoebe: Eww, what is it doing?
Piper: Apparently eating the demon.
Paige: Or storing it.
(The demon dies and turns to dust.)
Phoebe: What is it?
Piper: I don't know, and I don't want to find out. Let's get out of here.
(The demon spots them and pokes its lizard-like tongue at them. It whizzes toward Phoebe and Paige and pushes them down the alley. Piper tries to blow it up and screams when she can't. She continues to try and blow it up.)
Phoebe: Paige, do something.
Paige: Power line!
(The power line orbs and falls on the creature, electrocuting and vanquishing it. Phoebe and Paige get up and race over to Piper.)
Phoebe: Are you okay?
Piper: Peachy.
(They hear a baby sound near by. The walk over to a pile of blankets and pull them back. A baby is laying there. He sticks out his lizard-like tongue and the girls gasp.)
Paige: Cute.
(He sticks out his tongue again.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Phoebe and Paige are standing there watching the baby in the playpen.]
Phoebe: I still can't believe we vanquished its mummy.
Paige: Yeah, but we didn't know it was a mummy and besides, mummy tried to kill us.
Phoebe: I know, still, look at how cute he is. So adorable. Oh, except when he does that weird little thing with his tongue.
Paige: I wonder why he looks so human?
Phoebe: I don't know, but he won't for long.
(Piper walks in.)
Piper: Okay, Wyatt's upstairs, so at least he's... (Wyatt orbs into the playpen.) Safe.
Phoebe: Don't worry about Wyatt, he's got his protective bubble. He'll use it if he needs it.
Paige: Plus, it looks like he likes his new friend.
Piper: That is not a friend, that's a demon.
Paige: No, he's just a baby.
Piper: Excuse me, were you at the same vanquish as me? Because it took all three of us to stop his mother.
Paige: It doesn't mean he's gonna turn out that way.
Phoebe: Paige, he doesn't have a choice, it's genetic.
Paige: No, I don't think so. Okay, maybe I'm a little biased because I am in fact adopted, but I really think there's something to that whole nurture versus nature thing and predicting how a kid is gonna turn out. You know, the classic environment versus biology argument.
Piper: But this is not a child, it's a demon.
Paige: Okay, why don't you go over there and see if you can sense anything evil.
Phoebe: Alright. (Phoebe walks closer to the playpen.) Nothing. Good or evil.
Paige: My point exactly. Clay to be moulded.
Piper: Yeah, I don't know about that.
Phoebe: Still, the question remains what are we supposed to do with him?
(Chris orbs in.)
Chris: So you vanquished the demon?
Piper: Yes and no.
Paige: Well, the good news is the demon you sent us after is in fact gone.
Phoebe: And the bad news is whatever ate it, left us that.
(Chris looks in the playpen. The baby wiggles his lizard-like tongue at him.)
Paige: I think he likes you.
Chris: I don't care. Vanquish it.
Phoebe: Chris.
Chris: I mean it. Now.
Paige: No, we are not vanquishing a baby. What's wrong with you?
Chris: I'm just concerned that this could be the future evil that gets to Wyatt.
Paige: Don't be ridiculous.
Chris: What? I'm being ridiculous? There is a demon in the playpen.
(The phone rings.)
Paige: I'll get it.
(She heads for the phone.)
Phoebe: Hey, if it's Jason, tell him I'm in the shower.
Piper: Are you avoiding him?
Phoebe: Uh, kind of. I, um, sort of told him that I loved him last night.
Piper: Oh, and this is bad?
Phoebe: No, except I said 'I love you too' as if he said 'I love you' first, which he didn't.
Piper: So wait, you told him that he loves you before he tells you that he loves you?
Phoebe: Mm-hm, mm-hm.
Piper: Yeah, that's not good.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'll be lucky if he doesn't move to Hong Kong permanently now. I really thought I had my empath power under control.
Chris: Forget that. What are you gonna do?
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? I mean, you know, you tell a guy that you love them and they bolt, you know, it's just what they do.
Chris: About the baby, I meant the baby. We gotta do something. (The baby scoops up a pacifier with his tongue.) Fast.
[Cut to the kitchen. Paige is there talking on the phone.]
Paige: I can't hear you, Darryl, speak up.
Darryl: I know I've never asked before but I'm asking now. I need help on this one. Magical.
Paige: Alright, what's going on?
Darryl: This stupid kid, and he's got hostages. Only I know him and he wouldn't hurt anybody, but I've ran out of time to talk him down. SWAT's ready to move in. I don't wanna lose him, Paige.
Paige: Alright, alright. I'm coming. Okay. Hold your horses.
(Paige hangs up and grabs her keys.)
[Cut to the conservatory. Piper and Phoebe are leaning over the playpen. Piper is covering her eyes.]
Piper: Where's Wyatt? Where is he? Look, look, wait, listen. Where's Wyatt? (She uncovers her eyes.) There he is! Look, look. Where's Wyatt? Where's Wyatt? There he is! Alright.
Chris: Okay, I don't think distracting him is the answer.
Piper: Wyatt? Bad demon, very bad demon.
(Paige walks in.)
Phoebe: Hey, was that Jason?
Paige: No, that was my raison d'etre.
Phoebe: Pardon?
Paige: That was Darryl. I've been wondering why the temp agency hasn't called and now I know why. I needed to be free to help him.
Piper: To do what?
Paige: Well, to save an innocent. Why else would he have called? And more importantly, why else would I have been the one to answer the phone?
Phoebe: Because you were the closest to it?
Paige: No, because it's my reason for being. Call me if you need help.
(She leaves.)
Chris: What, you're just gonna let her go?
Piper: You're welcome to try and stop her.
Phoebe: You know, I should go talk to Jason.
Piper: And her too.
Chris: Wait, stop, where are you going? Are you slightly concerned that there's a demon in the house?
Phoebe: Chris, this is a baby, okay? Relax. (to Piper) And you call me if you need anything.
Piper: Love you too.
Phoebe: Don't.
Piper: Sorry.
(Phoebe leaves the room.)
Chris: And you're okay with this? Them dumping this on your lap like that?
Piper: Well, they don't seem too worried.
Chris: Well, they should be. I need to figure out what kind of creature we're dealing with here.
[Scene: Alley. A creature wearing a cloak is wandering around looking for something. He spots a blanket on the ground and roars.]
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe walks in.]
Phoebe: Hey, is he in?
Man: No! I mean, yes, he is but he asked not be disturbed.
Phoebe: Yeah, but that can't possibly mean me.
Man: Actually, it specifically means you, Phoebe. Sorry. Did you guys have a fight?
Phoebe: No, but we're about to. (Phoebe hands the man her bag and storms into Jason's office.) Listen, Jas... (Three other people are in the room with Jason.) Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
Jason: Phoebe, what are you doing?
Phoebe: I didn't know you were in the middle of a meeting.
Jason: Yeah, that's why the door was closed.
Phoebe: Really? Because I was told the door was closed specifically for me. (Jason says something in Italian and stands up.) I didn't know you spoke Italian.
Jason: Outside.
(Jason and Phoebe walk out of his office.)
Phoebe: How come I didn't know you spoke Italian?
Jason: Is that what you came here to ask?
Phoebe: No. No, of course not. I just wanted to talk about last night.
Jason: Okay, fine. But, uh, can we do it later? I'm in the middle of a very important meeting right now.
Phoebe: Of course, yeah. I'm sorry about that. So how about tonight?
Jason: Tonight? Tonight's not good. I'm flying to Rome.
(Phoebe laughs.)
Phoebe: Wait, what?
Jason: I've been meaning to tell you, it just came up.
Phoebe: Really? When? Right after I told you I loved you?
Jason: Oh, come on.
Phoebe: I mean, I've heard of guys running when they hear the L word, but running all the way to Italy? That's gotta be some kind of new record.
Jason: Could you keep your voice down, please? It's got nothing to do with that and you know it.
Phoebe: That's a crock. We both know how you really feel about me. The only difference is I'm the only one who's not afraid of it. Ciao!
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Piper and Chris are there. Chris is looking at the "Manticore" demons in the Book of Shadows.]
Chris: "Vicious demons with supernatural strength and venomous claws. Manticores communicate with high-pitch cries and tend to travel in packs." Great. Well, I say we get rid of the little brat before the pack comes looking for him.
Piper: Okay, fine. What do you suggest we do with him? Call social services?
Chris: No, I suggest you vanquish it.
Piper: Chris, I'm a mother, I can't go around vanquishing babies, no matter how evil they are.
Chris: It's not how evil he is, it's how evil he's gonna be. You gotta stop looking at him like he's a little baby and start looking at him like he's an unstoppable killing machine, because that's what he is.
Piper: I realise that, but still.
Chris: But still nothing. You're supposed to protect the innocents, right? Well, think of all the future innocents you can save by vanquishing him right now.
Piper: Don't you think I know that? I'm scared to death of what he can possibly do to Wyatt but I can't even separate them.
Chris: Piper, there's one thing you can do and you know it. And you better do it fast before any other Manticore show up. There's no known vanquishing potion.
Piper: I just can't do it.
Chris: Okay. Well, if you won't listen to me, maybe you'll listen to Leo.
(Chris orbs out. Piper looks over at the babies and the Manticore baby shimmers out. He shimmers back in and then shimmers back out. He shimmers back in and laughs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Post Office Car Park. Police have surrounded the building. The SWAT team arrives in their van and get in their positions.]
SWAT: We're in position, lieutenant, we've got a clean shot.
(Paige stands behind a barricade along with other people who are watching.)
Paige: Darryl! Darryl! Over here.
Darryl: (in his radio) Stand by. (He heads over to Paige.) It's okay, let her through. (Paige passes the barricades.) What took you so long?
Paige: Darryl, I would have orbed here but it could have been more magic than you had in mind.
Darryl: I'm not sure what you could have done anyway. He's not letting any of the hostages go and SWAT's ready to move in.
Paige: Well, forget that, I'm not giving up, this is my raison d'etre.
Darryl: Excuse me?
Paige: Listen, I came to help, that's exactly what I'm going to do. So, you know, what do you need?
Darryl: I don't know, if I could just talk to the kid without getting shot.
Paige: I think I have the perfect spell for this.
Darryl: Whoa, spell. What spell?
Paige: Just go with me, okay? "Blessed with powers from my destiny, I bless this hero with invincibility." (A blue light hits Darryl.) How does it feel?
Darryl: It's feels good.
Paige: Alright, go get him, tough guy.
Darryl: Yeah.
(Darryl walks across the car park.)
SWAT: Where's he going? (Darryl gets out his gun.) Lieutenant, what are you doing?
Darryl: I got it, don't worry.
(Darryl walks up to the post office door. A teenager and hostages are in the post office. The teenager points a gun at Darryl.)
Teenager: Hey, turn around! Get out of here! I swear to god, man, I'll shoot! I'll shoot you, man! I swear to god I'll do it!
(He grabs a hostage.)
Darryl: Put your gun down, son. I just wanna talk. (The teenager shoots at Darryl three times but the bullets just bounce off his skin.) That's ok, hold your fire. I'm going in.
[Scene: The Golden Gate Bridge. Leo is standing on the very top of the bridge. He has his arms outstretched and has his eyes closed. Chris orbs in beside him.]
Chris: Leo, I have been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing up here?
Leo: Communing with the others.
Chris: Can anyone see us?
Leo: Not me. But you look like a lunatic standing up here talking to yourself. What do you want?
Chris: It's about Piper.
Leo: Is she alright?
Chris: Yeah, she's fine, don't worry. It's Wyatt I'm worried about.
Leo: Why? What happened?
Chris: Well, nothing yet. Just out of curiosity, what's the Elders policy on vanquishing demon babies?
Leo: Why?
Chris: No reason. There's just one playing with Wyatt in his playpen as we speak.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper walks in carrying Wyatt.]
Piper: Okay, listen to me. You will not orb down to your little friend, do you understand me? No orbing. (Piper puts Wyatt in the playpen and the Manticore baby shimmers in beside Wyatt. Piper sighs.) I give up.
(Phoebe walks in.)
Phoebe: Phew, I have had it with men. They are incorrigible.
Piper: Well, let me tell you, little boys aren't much better.
Phoebe: I mean, I can understand running, if he didn't love me back, you know. Fight or flight, it's the nature of the beast.
Piper: Speaking of that.
Phoebe: But he does love me, I know, I felt it. So what's the big deal? You know, why is he running?
Piper: Well, if it makes you feel any better, you probably won't be alive much longer to worry about it.
Phoebe: Thank you, yes, that makes me feel so much better.
Piper: I'm just saying if this doesn't work then we won't be able to vanquish the Manticores when they come to pick up their little one.
Phoebe: Oh, you figured out what they are?
Piper: Yeah, and it's not good, believe me.
Phoebe: So maybe Chris is right.
Piper: Yeah, I know, but I can't.
Phoebe: Piper, you said it yourself, he was born evil.
Piper: I know and I still believe that, I do. But something just doesn't add up about him. I mean, why isn't Wyatt using his protective shield? Why doesn't Wyatt think he's evil?
Phoebe: Well, we gotta keep Wyatt away from him. (Phoebe goes over to the playpen.) That's for sure.
Piper: Phoebe, wait.
(Phoebe picks Wyatt up from the playpen. The baby starts crying.)
Phoebe: You stay away from my nephew, okay, and don't shimmer after him or I'll bind your powers.
(The baby starts screaming.)
Piper: Phoebe, hurry, put him back down.
Phoebe: What? Okay. (Phoebe puts Wyatt back in the playpen.) Why?
(A creature shimmers in behind Phoebe.)
Piper: That's why. (The creature hits Phoebe and she flies across the room, landing on Piper. Wyatt's protective shield covers the playpen. The creature reaches into the playpen and the shield zaps him. He tries again and it zaps him again. Piper gets up and tries to blow him up.) Hey! You get away from my kid!
(She continues to try and blow him up until he shimmers out. He shimmers back in behind Piper, grabs her and shimmers back out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe is there, scrying. Paige walks in and looks in the playpen. The baby is asleep. She walks over to Phoebe and hands her an ice pack.]
Paige: I feel really bad that I wasn't there to help you earlier.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't think you could have helped even if you were there. Thanks. That thing was just as powerful as the Manticore.
Paige: Are you sure it wasn't the Manticore?
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm positive, it was more, I don't know, beast-like.
Paige: What do you think it wanted with the baby?
Phoebe: I don't know, but I think it's really weird that it showed up right after the baby started crying. You know, as if it could hear him.
Paige: Maybe we can get the baby to cry again and lure the beast here and torture him into coughing up Piper.
Phoebe: That's a great idea but we don't have a potion yet. I can't believe I can't find Piper.
Paige: Okay, let me get started on the potion. The good news is if he wanted to kill Piper by now he probably would have. And undoubtedly he's holding her hostage somewhere, probably magically cloaked. And I think he's gonna use her as leverage to get that baby. Just you watch.
Phoebe: Since when did you become an expert on hostage situations?
Paige: About an hour ago.
(Leo and Chris orb in.)
Chris: Hey.
Paige: Shh, shh, keep it down, don't wake the baby. Trust me.
Chris: (whispers) Where's Piper?
Phoebe: That's a really good question.
Leo: Wait, she's missing?
Chris: Did the Manticores take her?
Phoebe: No, some other creature that wanted the baby.
Chris: Damn it, you should have listened to me, you should have vanquished him when you had the chance.
Paige: Well, it's good that we didn't because we're gonna need the baby to get Piper back.
Phoebe: You guys, shh, keep your voices down.
Paige: I am not convinced that that baby is inherently evil. Which means he's probably not even responsible for any of this.
Chris: Oh, come on. Will you please talk to her?
Leo: Not everyone is born morally neutral, especially not demons. They're pre-disposed to evil.
Paige: Pre-disposed, yeah, but it doesn't mean they can't be raised to overcome it. You can't predict whether a kid is gonna be good or evil based on his genetics.
Chris: Paige, we're not talking about kids, we're talking about demons.
Paige: No, we're talking about a demon kid who has so far played nothing but nice with Wyatt.
Phoebe: Okay, you guys, this is all irrelevant. We need the baby to find Piper so let's just focus on that, shall we?
Leo: She's right. Although I think I should take Wyatt just to be on the safe side.
Phoebe: What if the other baby wakes up?
Leo: They won't be able to follow me where I'm going.
(Leo goes over to Wyatt and picks him up.)
Paige: He's gonna scream bloody murder and call half the Manticores in the city to come save it. Maybe the beast too.
Phoebe: We have to be prepared. (to Leo) Okay, go, just quietly. (Leo orbs out with Wyatt. Chris orbs out too.) Let's get started on that potion.
[Scene: A dark house. The rooms are a wreck. There are broken furniture and stuff all over the floors. Piper is tied to a post by her hands. She is rubbing the rope against the post. The creature is sneaking around in another room.]
Piper: Hello? Who's there?
(He peeks around the corner.)
Creature: I want the child.
Piper: Who are you?
Creature: I want the child!
Piper: Yeah, I heard you the first time. (The creature runs behind a bookcase and peeks around it.) Look, if you're trying to scare me, it's not gonna work, because I've seen worse, really.
Creature: I doubt it. I don't want to hurt you but I will if you don't do as I ask.
Piper: Who are you kidding? You need me. Otherwise I'd be dead already.
Creature: Don't mock me!
Piper: Okay, easy, easy. Sorry. You're not a Manticore, are you? So why do you want the kid, anyway?
Creature: That's not your concern.
Piper: Well, it is if you want my help. I'm not just gonna serve him up to you as a snack.
Creature: That's not why I want him. How'd you get him away from his mother anyway?
Piper: We vanquished her.
Creature: You have no idea what you've done.
Piper: We got a baby away from a demon and I'm not gonna give him up to another one.
Creature: Then you'll die.
Piper: The hell I will.
(Piper blows up the rope around her hands and then blows up a bookcase behind the creature. She runs for the door and when she tries to open it, it zaps her. She runs into another room and hides.)
[Scene: Post Office Car Park. The SWAT team are still in their positions.]
SWAT: Any sign of the lieutenant?
SWAT: (on radio) Negative.
SWAT: Alright, we give him five more minutes to talk him out, then we'll... (They hear gunshots and some SWAT members shoot.) Hold your fire! Hold your fire!
(The hostages start running out from the post office.)
Hostage: Don't shoot, we're hostages!
(The police run out and help the hostages to safety. They wait and Darryl comes out of the post office with the cuffed teenager.)
Darryl: No sweat! I got it! This lieutenants on the job, kicking butt, taking names, yeah, that's right. That's me. No sweat. (The police and SWAT come out.) Yeah, give me five.
(Police clap. Darryl takes the teenager over to the car.)
Teenager: How'd you do it, man? How did those bullets bounce right off your chest like that?
Darryl: Because I'm a bad ass, that's what.
(Darryl grab the car door handle and pulls the door right off its hinges.)
Teenager: What the hell was that?
Darryl: Shut up. (Darryl throws him in the car and he flies right out the other side and lands on the ground.) What the hell are you, man?
[Scene: Creature's house. Piper looks around the room. The coast is clear so she sneaks across the room to another hiding place. She knocks some broken glass and gasps. She picks up a photo frame and looks at the photo of a man. She then picks up a baby rattle. She turns around to see the creature standing right behind her. He pushes her against the wall.]
Creature: Last chance. Help me get the child or die.
Piper: What are you doing with this?
(She holds up the baby rattle. He gets angry and throws her across the room. She lands on the bed.)
Creature: What is the matter with you? Do you have a death wish? I've come to far, I've gone through too much to lose him now. Don't make me kill you!
Piper: Why don't you just do it? What are you waiting for? Get it over with.
Creature: I can do worse than kill you, I can keep you here and you'll never see your child again. Think about it.
(He shimmers out.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there making a potion. Paige puts in an ingredient and the potion smokes.]
Paige: Well, can't think of anything else to add. This is the most powerful potion we've ever made.
Phoebe: I agree. I guess it's time to wake up the baby.
(Paige nods. Phoebe's cell phone rings. She answers it.)
Phoebe: Hello?
Jason: Hey, it's me.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Jason.
Jason: I, uh, I didn't wanna leave like this.
Phoebe: Uh, I can't really talk right now. Kinda busy.
Jason: Oh, really? Come on, Phoebe, why do you always have to make things so difficult.
Phoebe: Oh, I make things so difficult? And how exactly do I do that? By being honest with my feelings? And by making you be honest with yours?
(The baby wakes up and starts crying.)
Jason: You know it's not that simple.
(The baby starts to scream.)
Phoebe: Okay, I really have to go now.
Jason: Phoebe, wait.
Phoebe: Have a good flight. (Phoebe hangs up.) Toss me a vile. (Paige does so. A Manticore demon shimmers in and hits Paige. She flies across the room. Phoebe throws the potion at it and vanquishes it.) Paige, are you okay?
(Paige groans. Two more Manticores shimmer in behind Phoebe and hit her, sending her across the room. They walk towards the girls. The creature shimmers in and attacks the Manticores. The creature reaches into one of the Manticore's chest and rips his heart out, vanquishing him. He turns to the other Manticore and it shimmers out, leaving a puddle of green blood on the floor. The creature walks over to the playpen.)
Paige: Phoebe, get the vile.
(The creature picks up the baby. Phoebe grabs the vile off of the floor and throws it at the creature, hitting his shoulder. He roars and shimmers out.)
Phoebe: So much for our leverage.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Creature's house. Piper is there trying to blow up the door's shield. She blows it up several times until the door sparks. She opens the door and looks outside. She sees a beautiful, peaceful neighbourhood. She hears the creature breathing heavily and goes back inside. He has tucked the baby in bed and is rubbing his tummy.]
Creature: You're okay. It's alright, you're home now.
(The creature looks over at Piper.)
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Phoebe and Paige are there. Paige sucks some of the Manticore's blood into an eyedropper and hands it to Phoebe.]
Paige: This had better work.
Phoebe: Oh, it will.
(Leo and Chris orb in.)
Leo: We just got back to talking to the Elders and they're at an agreement. If we can't return the baby safely to the Manticores...
Chris: We'll vanquish it.
Paige: Talk about your moot points, people.
Chris: What's that supposed to mean?
Phoebe: Well, do you notice anything missing?
(They look over at the playpen.)
Leo: The baby?
Chris: What happened?
Paige: The beast took him. Right after the Manticores kicked our asses.
Phoebe: This is all Jason's fault.
Leo: How's that?
Phoebe: Oh, you're a guy, you wouldn't get it.
Chris: Wait, how are we supposed to get back Piper if we don't have the baby?
Paige: Well, we're gonna try to have another little get together with the Manticores, see if we can't start some sort of deal.
Phoebe: If we can join forces with them to kill the beast, then they can get their baby back.
Paige: And we can get our sister back.
Leo: And what if they don't want to join forces?
Paige: Well, we hope we have enough of these fancy little things to go around.
(She holds up a vile.)
Chris: No, no way, it's too risky.
Phoebe: Well, blood is thicker than water.
(Phoebe drips some Manticore blood on the crystal and starts scrying.)
[Scene: Creature's house. Piper is dabbing the creature's wound with a cloth. The creature growls in pain.]
Piper: Well, quit moving around so much, you're just making this more difficult.
Creature: Just leave me alone.
Piper: Why? So you can die? Hey, it's your choice. I'm just saying, if we can't stop this bleeding...
Creature: Fine. But just hurry up.
Piper: You're welcome. Who did this to you?
Creature: Your sisters.
Piper: Oh. Sorry. Actually, if they used the potion I think they did, you're lucky to be a live. You should have been blown to pieces.
Creature: How do you know?
Piper: Well, 'cause I made it. (The creature roars.) Come on, show a little spine. What kind of demon are you?
Creature: I'm not a demon.
Piper: Then what are you? I saw a picture of a man in the bedroom. Oh, come on, I've been around a lot of demons and they don't usually live in neighbourhoods right out of Home and Garden.
Creature: You don't want to be helping me. You think this is some sort of hideous curse or something.
Piper: Yeah, basically.
(The creature gets up.)
Creature: Well, then go. I don't need your pity. It's not what happened and that's not who I am. Not anymore, anyway. Just leave us. Go.
Piper: Us? You mean you and your son? (Piper gets up and walks over to him.) What happened?
Creature: Manticores mate with humans to create hybrids, so they can blend in, hide in plain sight. They kill their mates after conception but I got away. Ever since all I could think about was saving my son. So he wouldn't have to be raised like them. The only chance I had to do that was to turn myself into this, to become powerful.
Piper: But then, um, how?
Creature: I just started mixing potions using whatever I could steal from them. I didn't know what I was doing but I didn't care. All I cared about was finding a way to fight them, to find him. I didn't care what happened to me, I just wanted my son.
Piper: You know they're gonna try and take him back.
Creature: I know.
Piper: So let's get you fixed up so we can fight them together.
[Scene: Manticore Cave. Several Manticores are eating a demon corpse. Phoebe and Paige orb in. They pull a face.]
Paige: Hey! (The Manticores look up.) Sorry to interrupt.
(The Manticores jump up ready to fight.)
Phoebe: Ah-ah! I wouldn't do that if I were you.
(Phoebe and Paige hold up two potions each.)
Paige: Do you think we have enough potion?
Phoebe: So, who wants to go hunting with us?
(The Manticores look at each other.)
[Scene: Creature house. Piper walks into a room holding a wet towel.]
Piper: This is gonna be a little cold. (She places the towel on his wound.) The bleeding's not stopping. You should come home with me and we can do more there.
Creature: No, I can't.
Piper: If you're worried about my sisters, I'll...
Creature: It's not your sisters I'm worried about. It's the Manticores, they'll be looking for me there. They'll be looking for him there.
Piper: But you don't understand, we have somebody who can heal you once we turn you back into...
Creature: You can't turn me back. No one can. Not unless I die.
Piper: So how were you planning on raising your son?
Creature: I wasn't. I figured I'd find someone after. All I cared about was saving him. That's exactly what I'm gonna keep on doing.
(He gets up and heads for the door. Piper grabs his arm.)
Piper: You can't run forever, you know. Not for long, not with that. And who's gonna save him when you're dead?
Creature: You have a way with words, you know that?
Piper: I ad-lib a lot.
(Phoebe and Paige orb in.)
Phoebe: Piper, duck!
(They throw a potion each at the creature. Piper blows the potions up.)
Paige: What are you doing?
(Two Manticores shimmer in and hits the creature. They push him out of the room. Another one shimmers in and whizzes Piper to Phoebe and Paige.)
Phoebe: Let's get her out of here.
Piper: No, wait.
(They orb out. The Manticores maul the creature. The baby cries.)
[Cut to the manor. Foyer. Paige orbs in with Piper and Phoebe.]
Piper: What the hell are you doing?
Paige: Saving your life.
Piper: No, no, no, you don't understand. We have to go back, hurry!
(They orb out.)
[Cut to the creature's house. The creature is laying on the floor. The girls orb in.]
Piper: Oh, no.
(She kneels beside the creature. Piper looks over at the bed. The baby is gone. The creature turns into the man in the photo.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Paige orbs in with Piper, Phoebe and the man. The man orbs onto the couch.]
Piper: Leo, we need you! (Leo and Chris orb in.) Hurry, he's dying.
Leo: Who is he?
(Leo goes to his side.)
Phoebe: The beast. Heal, heal, hurry.
Chris: Where's the baby?
Paige: Manticores have him.
(Leo starts to heal the man.)
Chris: Oh, so the plan worked?
Phoebe: Yeah, a little too well.
Paige: Yeah, now we just have to get the baby back.
Chris: What?
Piper: Paige, will you go fill up some potion viles, please?
Paige: Yeah.
Piper: Lots of them.
(Paige leaves the room.)
Chris: What, hold up. Are you serious? You finally get rid of the demon child and now you wanna risk your lives trying to get it back?
(Leo heals the man completely. He sits up.)
Man: He's not a demon child. That's my son.
Piper: How are you feeling? Are you alright?
Man: I can't believe I'm human again.
Piper: Aren't you glad you didn't kill me now?
Leo: Not funny, I don't think that's funny.
Chris: Agreed.
Phoebe: Oh, what, are you two on like the same team now? We're gonna get your baby back, I promise.
Chris: Do we not have a say in this?
Leo: No, we don't. One thing you gotta learn about being their Whitelighter is once they make up their mind, that's it. Besides, I'm a father first.
Phoebe: So we're gonna have to separate the baby before we attack. You know that, right?
Man: Why?
Piper: Well, because the potion vanquishes Manticores, and your son is half Manticore.
[Scene: Manticore cave. All the Manticores are asleep. The baby is sitting in the middle of them all. Paige orbs in with Piper and Phoebe.]
Piper: I see him.
Phoebe: Let's just hope he sees you before they see us.
Paige: Should I just orb the baby to us?
Piper: No, he'll probably just shimmer back and then we'll be in really big trouble. This is gonna work.
Phoebe: Hurry, hurry.
(They get out a lot of potions from a pouch. The Manticores get restless.)
Piper: Peekaboo. You can do it. Come on, come on, come on. (The Manticores sit up.) Peekaboo. (The Manticores smell their scent and stand up, looking around.) Come on, you can do it. (The baby shimmers out. The Manticores look around for him and spot the girls. Two whiz towards them and Piper and Phoebe throw a potion each at them, vanquishing them. The rest whiz towards them and they throw the rest of the potions, vanquishing them all. The baby shimmers back in, giggling. The girls go over to him.) You're okay. Hi. Hi. (Piper picks him up.) Good job.
Paige: So much for nature being more important than nurture.
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. The man is looking at his son in the playpen. Piper walks in with a stroller and a brown paper bag.]
Piper: Here's some clothes and a stroller.
Man: You sure you don't mind?
Piper: No, not at all. Wyatt hasn't grown at all and I don't see myself having more kids anytime soon, so enjoy.
Man: Thanks. For everything. I just, I wish there was something I can do for you.
(Paige walks in.)
Paige: Well, you could tell us your name.
Man: Sorry?
Paige: I mean, unless you prefer being called 'the beast'?
Man: Derek, my name's Derek.
Piper: It's nice to meet you, Derek.
Paige: What's his name?
Derek: I never gave him one, actually, I never had the chance.
Piper: Well, now you do.
Derek: Well, I guess I should be going, that is if I can pry him away from Wyatt.
Piper: Yeah, good luck.
(The baby shimmers out and shimmers back in in the stroller.)
Paige: That is cute. (The phone rings.) I'll get it.
(Paige leaves the room.)
Piper: You know, if you ever need us to bind his powers...
Derek: No, thanks, that's really sweet but it's not necessary. He's a good boy so it's just up to me to make sure he stays that way.
Piper: In that case he's in good hands. Well, take care.
Derek: You too.
(Derek pushes the stroller out of the room. Paige walks back in and groans.)
Piper: What? What'd you do?
Paige: I kind of forgot to reverse the spell I put on Darryl.
[Scene: Police Station. Darryl's Office. The whole office is a mess. There's broken door handles, broken filing cabinet drawers, coat stand broken in half. Darryl is sitting in his chair and he breaks the phone in half. He careful puts the phone down on the desk and the whole desk breaks and crashes to the floor.]
Darryl: Paige!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Night. Phoebe walks in and looks in Jason's office. She turns around and sees him standing at the main door.]
Phoebe: Hi.
Jason: Hi.
Phoebe: What are you doing here? I thought you were on a plane.
Jason: I cancelled the flight. I mean, it is my plane.
Phoebe: What about the winery?
Jason: It'll be there in the morning. I, uh, just wasn't sure whether you would be. I didn't want to take the risk.
Phoebe: Really?
(They walks towards each other.)
Jason: Really. You were right. I was running but not for the reason that you think. I am not afraid of how I feel about you. It doesn't scare me one bit.
Phoebe: Then why?
Jason: It's a little unnerving to have somebody tell you how you feel all the time before you know it yourself.
Phoebe: I know, I'm sorry.
Jason: You do that a lot too. You're very intuitive. It's, uh, it's pretty amazing actually, it's a real gift.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, sometimes it can be a curse too.
Jason: Tell me about it. Look, all I'm saying is that I'd like to be able to express my own feelings in my own time from now on. If that's alright with you.
Phoebe: Perfectly okay.
Jason: Good.
(They hug.)
Phoebe: So while we're on the subject, how do you feel about me?
Jason: I love you too.
(They kiss.)
|
Plan: A: a Manticore demon; Q: What kind of demon did the sisters vanquish? A: Phoebe; Q: Who surprises her boyfriend Jason? A: Paige; Q: Who gives Darryl a superpower? A: its orphaned half-breed infant; Q: What do the sisters become foster parents to? A: whose human father Derek; Q: Who is the human father of the half-breed infant? A: Seth Peterson; Q: Who played Derek? A: Piper hostage; Q: Who does Derek hold hostage? A: Chris' plea; Q: What does Chris make? A: love; Q: What do the sisters believe they can change the child's destiny with? Summary: After vanquishing a Manticore demon, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige become foster parents to its orphaned half-breed infant, whose human father Derek ( Seth Peterson ) holds Piper hostage until his son is returned. Upon Chris' plea to vanquish the child, the sisters come to believe that, by raising the child with love, they can change its destiny. Meanwhile, Phoebe surprises her boyfriend Jason when she responds to feelings he has not expressed yet, and Paige gives Darryl a superpower.
|
INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS
BY: MALCOLM HULKE
PART FIVE
5:30pm - 5:55pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: INT. AIRCRAFT HANGER OFFICE
(With a familiar high-pitched whine, a Stegosaurus appears within the series of emanating rays. Suddenly several figures comes through the door - GENERAL FINCH, the BRIGADIER and two regular army soldiers.)
GENERAL FINCH: There's your monster-maker, Brigadier - caught in the act!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Doctor, you're under arrest.
(The DOCTOR remains calm as he realises the trap he has fallen into.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. SPACESHIP. REMINDER ROOM
(SARAH is watching the seemingly endless film in the reminder room. It now shows views of cities overcrowded by people and traffic.)
BUTLER: (OOV: Film commentary.) Overcrowding in man, as in all other animal species, increases hostility and aggression, leading to the greatest crime of all - war.
(The image changes to scenes seemingly from the troubles in Northern Ireland. SARAH adjusts her place on the seat. Her face does not look happy.)
BUTLER: (OOV: Film commentary.) With the development of the atomic bomb, man now has the choice of destroying his planet quickly, through war, or slowly, through pollution.
(The door opens and the film cuts out. It is MARK. SARAH gives him the briefest and most chilling of looks.)
MARK: How are you feeling now?
SARAH: Hungry, tired and I've got a headache.
(MARK shuts the door and speaks earnestly.)
MARK: Sarah, you're in grave danger.
SARAH: Oh, what's that supposed to mean?
MARK: The elders are very dedicated to our cause. They are not going to permit a disruptive influence.
SARAH: (Suddenly worried.) You mean they'll kill me?
(MARK raises his eyebrows in confirmation. SARAH gets up and thinks. She speaks with conviction.)
SARAH: Perhaps...the time that I spent in suspended animation...has affected my thinking in some ways? Take me back to the elders. Let me talk to them again.
MARK: (Relieved.) Yes, of course.
(He goes to the door and opens it for her. She promptly elbows him in the stomach and darts out of the door, pulling it shut behind her and locking MARK in.)
MARK: (Shouts.) Sarah!
(He bangs on the door.)
MARK: (Shouts.) Sarah!
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM (NIGHT)
(It is night. The DOCTOR is led into the headquarters schoolroom by two armed soldiers. Only YATES and BENTON, manning the radio, are there. They stand as they see FINCH and the BRIGADIER follow the DOCTOR and his escort. FINCH waves the two UNIT men to stand at ease with his swagger stick. The DOCTOR has a slight smile on his face.)
GENERAL FINCH: Alright, Captain Yates, take this man and lock him up.
(The BRIGADIER steps forward.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir, aren't we going to question him first?
GENERAL FINCH: There's no time for that now. I must report his capture to the Minister.
(He heads for the door.)
DOCTOR: Yes, and no doubt he'll be very pleased to hear it...
(FINCH halts in his tracks.)
DOCTOR: Since he arranged the whole thing.
GENERAL FINCH: You are in an extremely dangerous position, Doctor. I advise you to keep silent.
DOCTOR: Oh, that's just what you want, isn't it - my silence?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: We really should interrogate this man now, sir. Trying to discover his base, the names of his associates...
GENERAL FINCH: (Interrupts.) All that can come later.
(The DOCTOR sits calmly on a table.)
DOCTOR: Yes, well now that you've caught me, General, well you can end the evacuation and return your eight million Londoners - can't you?
GENERAL FINCH: That decision doesn't rest with me. It rests with the Prime Minister. Captain Yates?
CAPTAIN YATES: Sir?
GENERAL FINCH: Until further orders, you'll keep that man under close arrest. Come with me, Brigadier.
(The BRIGADIER has been looking at YATES.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir?
GENERAL FINCH: I want you with me when I make my report.
(FINCH heads for the door. The BRIGADIER glances round.)
GENERAL FINCH: Brigadier?
(His voice has grown dangerously quiet. The BRIGADIER follows the GENERAL with the briefest of glances at YATES and BENTON. Immediately they have gone, the DOCTOR walks over to YATES.)
DOCTOR: Now listen to me, Mike. We haven't got much time.
(YATES starts to look at the papers in the file in front of him - a look of guilt on his face.)
DOCTOR: I want you to raise all the men you can muster and some kind of high explosive. Now I've got a pretty good idea where their base is...
(YATES ignores him and stands.)
CAPTAIN YATES: Sergeant Benton?
SERGEANT BENTON: Sir?
(The DOCTOR looks as if he has finally realised what has really been happening.)
CAPTAIN YATES: Take the Doctor to a cell and lock him up.
SERGEANT BENTON: (Amazed.) Sir?
CAPTAIN YATES: Keep him under constant guard. He's to talk to no one!
DOCTOR: (Quietly.) So it was you, Mike?
(YATES looks at him but his manner is filled with discomfort.)
CAPTAIN YATES: I'm sorry, Doctor. I'll be in the Brigadier's office.
(He leaves quickly. The DOCTOR looks sadly at the door he has gone through. Without revealing any emotion, BENTON starts giving orders to the two soldiers.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, that empty storeroom - fix it up as a temporary cell. Check the lock on the door and do something about barring the windows. Oh, and put in a camp bed. Now move.
(The soldiers quickly leave. BENTON makes sure that they are not being overheard and then turns urgently to the DOCTOR.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Alright, Doctor, what's going on?
DOCTOR: Captain Yates is the man inside who's working against us.
SERGEANT BENTON: Oh come on, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I'm afraid it's true.
(The DOCTOR looks out into the darkened corridor.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Well, what about the Brigadier?
DOCTOR: What indeed?
(BENTON stands up straight.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Right then, Doctor - you'd better get busy.
DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) What?
SERGEANT BENTON: You'd better start overpowering me, hadn't you? You know - a bit of yer...
(He points to his neck.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Venusian oojah?
(The DOCTOR grins with delight at the show of trust by his old ally.)
DOCTOR: Thank you, Sergeant Benton.
(BENTON turns his back on the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: Are you ready?
SERGEANT BENTON: Yeah!
(BENTON shuts his eyes tight. The DOCTOR gently presses the nerves in the back of his neck as the SERGEANT'S face relaxes as he slumps to the ground. The DOCTOR steps over him and runs out of the door.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. BUNKER. CONTROL ROOM (NIGHT)
(GROVER arrives late for a meeting in the underground control room. WHITAKER and BUTLER are waiting.)
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: Sorry, Gentlemen. Well, the Doctor's safely under arrest at UNIT headquarters.
BUTLER: How long will they hold him?
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: Long enough. Soon the Doctor and his associates and everyone on this planet, except our chosen group...will never have existed. Shall we begin?
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: I've been waiting for you.
(WHITAKER hands BUTLER a mug which he carries down to the lower level at the front of the control room and holds in the air.)
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: As you know, the...temporal beam has reached back through time and brought forward objects from the past. Now, by a completely different application of the same basic principle, I am about to reverse time. At least, in a limited field.
(WHITAKER crosses to a unit beside the main control panel and presses a button. A tubular device with a red glowing base descends from the ceiling. It hangs over a stand underneath it. WHITAKER nods to BUTLER who smashes the mug down onto the stand, breaking it into pieces.)
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: I shall now activate the time field.
(WHITAKER pulls one of the levers on the main transportation unit. The whine of power builds up and the rays emanate outwards. Within the time field, the cup reassembles and flies up into BUTLER'S waiting hand. His own movements also slightly reverse as his hand moves from the smashing position it was in earlier. GROVER watches impressed and smiles at a pleased BUTLER.)
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: There you are, Minister. For the space of a few seconds, I rolled back time itself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: INT. SPACESHIP. MAIN CHAMBER
(From a position hidden behind a panel, SARAH watches as ADAM comes out of a room and moves to a drinks dispenser. She sees him swig back the drink and go back into his room. She then moves to a transparent panel with a button beside it. She presses the button and the panel rises slowly upwards as she waits impatiently. She ducks under the still rising door...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. SPACESHIP. SIDE CHAMBER
(...and into a side chamber. On one side is the airlock door of the spaceship with a illuminated panel with the words on it:
[SCENE_BREAK]
Also within the room are three small control units against another wall. They seem to be automatic as a series of levers on the middle control unit are moving up and down by themselves. She hesitates for a moment and then puts her hand on a lever and yanks it sharply downwards. Nothing happens. She chooses two more levers and moves one up and one down at the same time. Again there is no response. She moves to the right hand unit and presses several buttons. The response is the same. Coming to a decision, she runs out of the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: INT. SPACESHIP. REMINDER ROOM
(MARK, still locked in the reminder room, is forced to watch the re-started film but takes more interest in it than SARAH. The screen shows scenes of riot police and protestors.)
BUTLER: (OOV: Film commentary.) The rules of so-called "civilised society" are breaking down as increased protest and disorder calls for stronger and more violent repression from the authorities, which in turn leads to more political violence. All over Europe...
(The door opens. MARK jumps up but SARAH is ready for him and struggles with him as she pleads.)
SARAH: Look, Mark, you've got to listen to me! I've got something very important to tell you - please!
(He stops struggling to listen.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM (NIGHT)
(BENTON stands to attention before GENERAL FINCH. The BRIGADIER, with an impassive face, and YATES are also there.)
SERGEANT BENTON: There was nothing I could do, sir. He attacked me.
GENERAL FINCH: Were there no guards?
SERGEANT BENTON: I sent them off to fix up a cell, sir.
GENERAL FINCH: What do you mean - he attacked you? There isn't a mark on you?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The Doctor uses a rather unique form of unarmed combat, sir.
GENERAL FINCH: You'll be court-martialled, Sergeant. Brigadier?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir?
(YATES looks at BENTON and then lowers his eyes.)
GENERAL FINCH: I'm instituting a full-scale search for the Doctor at once. I shall want the full cooperation of you and your men. They are to shoot on sight!
(The BRIGADIER looks sharply at FINCH who nods at BENTON.)
GENERAL FINCH: Meanwhile, put this man under arrest. Captain Yates?
(YATES follows his co-conspirator out of the room. The BRIGADIER watches them go.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Quietly.) Well, don't just stand there, Benton, go and put yourself under arrest.
SERGEANT BENTON: (Puzzled.) Sir?
(The BRIGADIER stands in front of him and speaks quietly.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Where's the Doctor gone?
SERGEANT BENTON: To that underground place, I think, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Then we've got to find him before General Finch does. Get the men ready.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, sir.
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. SPACESHIP. SIDE CHAMBER
(SARAH has taken MARK into the side chamber. She presses button after button on the right-hand side control unit to show that there is no response.)
SARAH: Now will you believe me?
MARK: There must be some explanation?
SARAH: Mark, where is this planet we're heading for?
MARK: In another solar system close to Earth.
SARAH: (Smiles.) The nearest possible solar system to us is four light years away. With the most advanced spaceships developed, it would take hundreds of years to reach there.
MARK: One of our members invented a new space drive.
(SARAH parts her hair to show her bruised forehead.)
SARAH: Do you see that bruise? I got that just before I was kidnapped and brought here. Now if I'd been here three months, it would have gone.
MARK: You were in suspended animation.
SARAH: (Despairing.) Oh, Mark! I've only been here a matter of hours. (Calmer.) Alright...alright, if we're in space, how did I get here?
MARK: You must have been transferred from one of the other ships.
SARAH: (Shouts.) There aren't any other ships! All this is a fake! We're not on a spaceship at all!
MARK: (Shouts.) Oh, that is ridiculous!
SARAH: I'll prove it to you.
(She pulls open the door and stands in the airlock.)
SARAH: I'm going out through that airlock!
(She hangs onto the handle of the outer door.)
MARK: That opens directly out into space - you'll be killed!
SARAH: No, I won't - because the whole set-up is a fake. Now go out there and watch.
(She pulls the inner door to. MARK moves into the main chamber...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. SPACESHIP. MAIN CHAMBER
(...and shuts the panel door. He watches through a window which looks onto the airlock. SARAH pushes open the door and then turns and grins at MARK in delight. She then steps out into "space" and closes the outer door after her. MARK is stunned. He is about to reopen the panel when he hears ADAM'S voice.)
ADAM: (OOV.) Mark?
(ADAM comes out of his room as MARK desperately tries to keep the look of shock off his face.)
ADAM: Ah, there you are.
(ADAM sees that something is wrong as he approaches MARK.)
ADAM: What's the matter? Are you alright?
MARK: Yes, yes, yes, I'm fine, I'm fine.
ADAM: Ah, erm, how's our young friend?
MARK: She's alright.
ADAM: Ah, I thought I might have a chat with her. Is she still in the reminder room?
(MARK leads ADAM away from the reminder room door.)
MARK: Yes, but I think we should leave her there a little bit longer. I...I think that's what she needs.
(ADAM looks closely at him.)
ADAM: You know, it might be a good idea for all of us to spend a little time in the reminder room before we arrive.
(MARK swallows hard.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: EXT. INDUSTRIAL ESTATE
(It is now daylight and the DOCTOR, having taken a UNIT jeep, is driving along a road. He turns a corner and sees an army jeep parked on the other side of the road with several troops by it. He hurriedly reverses into a three point turn as the soldiers pile into their jeep to pursue him. He shoots off in the direction he has just come from as the other jeep follows at speed. The DOCTOR drives through the industrial site and into an abandoned and decaying factory. Only the walls and roof girders remain - no actual roof and no windows. The DOCTOR is about to pass an archway in the side of the factory but stops and reverses into it and the darkened chamber beyond. A moment later, the army jeep turns into the abandoned factory and speeds past the DOCTOR'S hiding place. After they have gone, he reverses out and goes back the way he came. He smiles as he drives on through the estate.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. BUNKER. PASSAGE
(SARAH making her way from the mock spaceship, finds that she has never left the bunker and is in one of its passages. She stands outside the control room as she hears BUTLER and WHITAKER talking within.)
BUTLER: (OOV: Inside control room.) Well, Professor? That's the first time I've ever seen a Minister...lost for words.
(SARAH moves to the doorway control room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: INT. BUNKER. CONTROL ROOM
(She pokes her head round the door and watches the two men.)
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: ...
BUTLER: Mmm?
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: We shall need the reactor running at full power.
BUTLER: Oh, it is.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: Er, check it again.
BUTLER: (Patiently.) The reactor is working perfectly.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: The power levels are critical. I must be assured that they are sufficient to trigger the time-field.
BUTLER: Alright, I'll check it again.
(SARAH ducks away from the door...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. BUNKER. PASSAGE
(...and presses herself against a buttress in the passage.)
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: (OOV: Inside control room.) Thank you very much.
(BUTLER walks out and in the opposite direction. SARAH follows him. He goes into a side passage while she spots the lift that she came down in ahead. She runs to it and presses the button. The up light illuminates green instead of blue.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
15: INT. CHARLES GROVER'S OFFICE
(Up above, GROVER sits at his desk. He leafs through a file then gets up and is about to open the door to his filing room lift when his desk intercom buzzes. He is about to ignore it but it buzzes again. He goes back to his desk and answers it.)
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: (Into intercom.) Yes?
SECRETARY: (OOV: Over intercom.) You're car's ready, sir.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: (Into intercom.) Oh, thank you.
(He looks towards the filing room door.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: INT. FILING ROOM
(Within the filing room lift, SARAH patiently waits to ascend to the surface.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: INT. CHARLES GROVER'S OFFICE
(GROVER collects his coat and picks up a pen off his desk.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: INT. FILING ROOM
(The lift arrives. SARAH watches as the inner door slides back and she goes to the conventional panelled door, listens and then carefully opens it.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: INT. CHARLES GROVER'S OFFICE
(She looks round the door and sees that the office is empty. Being careful to close the filing room door, she crosses to the main door to the office and again listens carefully. She opens it and looks out into the corridor.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: EXT. WIMBLEDON COMMON
(The DOCTOR drives the jeep down a track through the trees on the edge of Wimbledon Common. He hears a noise and looks up to see an army helicopter overhead. The DOCTOR carries on driving remorselessly as the helicopter turns and starts to follow him. The DOCTOR drives off as fast as he can.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: INT. ARMY JEEP
(Not far behind is an army jeep with four regular soldiers in it. They receive a radio message which the Corporal in the front passenger seat answers.)
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) Tango one to patrol, over?
ARMY CORPORAL: (Into radio.) Patrol, over?
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) He's turned off. Heading for the common, over.
ARMY CORPORAL: (Into radio.) Roger, out.
(The soldier points to the driver to pursue.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
22: EXT. WIMBLEDON COMMON
(The DOCTOR'S jeep reaches a fork in the track. About to take the left-hand fork, he suddenly stops, reverses into the right-hand fork and shoots back the way he came - as the army jeep comes down the left-hand fork from the opposite direction. It gives chase. The DOCTOR looks behind him and increases his speed. He looks up and sees the helicopter still overhead and following his every movement. The DOCTOR turns quickly to his left and into the cover of trees. The helicopter loses sight of him.)
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) Tango one to patrol, over?
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: INT. ARMY JEEP
ARMY CORPORAL: (Into radio.) Patrol, over?
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) He's turned again. Heading into the trees, I'm positive. He's somewhere among those trees, over.
ARMY CORPORAL: (Into radio.) Patrol, out.
[SCENE_BREAK]
24: EXT. WIMBLEDON COMMON
(The DOCTOR'S jeep sits abandoned within the trees. Of him there is no sign. The army jeep comes up the track. The Corporal gets out, his rifle ready. He looks around him but can see no sign of their quarry. He goes back to his own jeep.)
ARMY CORPORAL: Right, everybody out.
(The soldiers do so with their rifle. Up a small rise, in the trees, the cloaked DOCTOR watches impassively as the Corporal gives his orders pointing to one soldier and in one direction.)
ARMY CORPORAL: You - down there.
(The first soldier runs off and the Corporal turns to the other two soldiers and points in the other direction.)
ARMY CORPORAL: You - down there.
(Those two soldiers move off. The DOCTOR descends slightly and hides in the ferns as one of the soldiers comes nearer. The soldier goes straight past him and the DOCTOR watches through the shrubbery as he goes. He then moves back towards the jeeps. Overhead the helicopter continues to fly over the woodland trying to get sight of the DOCTOR as back on the ground one of the soldiers, out of the sight of the Corporal, takes advantage of the his absence to sit down on a edge of a brick duct to a stream and light a cigarette. Nearby, and at the base of the rise, the DOCTOR moves slowly out of the ferns and towards the two parked vehicles. The helicopter still hovers over the trees as the DOCTOR gets inside the army jeep and quietly shuts the door. Suddenly, the radio comes to life.)
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) Tango one to patrol, any luck, over?
(The DOCTOR answers the radio in an accent which is slightly rougher than his usual clipped tones...)
DOCTOR: (Into radio.) Hello tango one, patrol here. It's alright, we've got 'im. We're bringing 'im in now. Listen, inform all the other units, will you? Over.
HELICOPTER PILOT: (OOV: Over radio.) Roger, patrol. Congratulations. We'll inform HQ - get them to call off the search, out.
(The DOCTOR grins and the helicopter flies off. The DOCTOR starts the jeep but suddenly hears a hail of bullets as the Corporal returns. The DOCTOR speeds off and the Corporal runs down the hill towards the DOCTOR'S abandoned jeep. He gets in and tries to start the engine but, sabotaged, it merely ticks over...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
25: INT. SCHOOL CLASSROOM
(SARAH has made her way back to the temporary HQ and goes into the main room, followed by a flustered PRIVATE BRYSON. There is no one else there.)
SARAH: I tell you I have got a pass.
PRIVATE BRYSON: Then I must see it, Miss. I...I've got strict instructions.
SARAH: Well, never mind your instructions...
PRIVATE BRYSON: I've got to check everybody's pass.
SARAH: Look, where's the Brigadier.
PRIVATE BRYSON: Well, he's out.
SARAH: But where?
PRIVATE BRYSON: I can't tell you that, Miss.
SARAH: (Pleads.) Please, you've got to tell me!
(BRYSON sighs.)
PRIVATE BRYSON: Well, they're out on this big hunt, Miss - looking for the Doctor.
SARAH: (Puzzled.) The Doctor?
PRIVATE BRYSON: Well, they had him arrested but he escaped. Well, he made the monsters.
SARAH: (Cutting.) Don't be ridiculous!
PRIVATE BRYSON: Well they caught 'im red-handed!
SARAH: Well, where's Captain Yates or Sergeant Benton?
PRIVATE BRYSON: All out on this man-hunt, Miss.
(At YATES' desk, SARAH grabs a pen and paper and scribbles a note. BRYSON, unsure what to do, sits on another desk and watches her.)
SARAH: Look, I'm going to leave this note for the Brigadier. Now you see that he gets it, mm?
PRIVATE BRYSON: Yes, Miss.
(BRYSON sighs and waits as SARAH completes her note. She puts down her pen and sighs. She looks up and smiles as someone else enters the room.)
SARAH: Oh, am I glad to see you.
(It is GENERAL FINCH who walks in with a surprised look on his face.)
GENERAL FINCH: Miss Smith?
SARAH: What's all this about the Doctor?
GENERAL FINCH: Er, re-captured. (To BRYSON.) Where is he now?
PRIVATE BRYSON: I'm sorry, sir. Who, sir?
GENERAL FINCH: The Doctor! I heard a message over the R/T to say he'd been caught. Wasn't at my HQ so I thought they must have brought him here.
PRIVATE BRYSON: No, sir, he's not here, sir.
SARAH: Look, the Doctor isn't behind all this, but I know who is - I know everything!
GENERAL FINCH: (Quietly.) Do you now?
SARAH: You...
(He holds up a hand for her to be quiet.)
GENERAL FINCH: Alright. (To BRYSON.) Dismissed.
PRIVATE BRYSON: Sir?
GENERAL FINCH: Get out!
(BRYSON stands to attention, wheels round and leaves the room. FINCH watches him go and then leans over SARAH'S desk.)
GENERAL FINCH: Now, Miss Smith, what's all this about?
SARAH: Well, you're never going to believe this - it's Grover - the Minister. He's behind everything.
GENERAL FINCH: Oh, come now. That's impossible.
SARAH: No, I promise you - it's the truth. They're operating from a hidden control centre. It's underground and it's right beneath Grover's office. Well that's why he stayed in London.
GENERAL FINCH: He stayed because he's in charge of the emergency.
SARAH: He's causing the emergency!
(She stands.)
SARAH: You've got to stop him - put him under arrest! Well, you can raid that place with your men.
GENERAL FINCH: Oh, come now. I can't take action against a Minister of the Crown simply on your word.
SARAH: I can prove what I'm saying is true. Come to Grover's office with me.
(She takes a step towards the door as FINCH makes a show of considering her story.)
GENERAL FINCH: Mmm, well I think your story needs investigating.
(They start to walk out.)
GENERAL FINCH: Have you told anyone?
SARAH: Well, nobody here to tell. I'd only just arrived when you turned up.
GENERAL FINCH: Have you any idea why the Minister should be doing all this?
[SCENE_BREAK]
26: INT. CHARLES GROVER'S OFFICE
(GENERAL FINCH and SARAH walk into GROVER'S office.)
GENERAL FINCH: I don't understand. The place is absolutely deserted. Very bad security. Now where's this special room?
(SARAH points at the door to the filing room.)
SARAH: Over there.
(FINCH takes a step towards it but SARAH holds him back.)
SARAH: Shouldn't we have brought some of your men here with us? I mean, might be quite a few of them down there.
(FINCH goes to the door anyway.)
GENERAL FINCH: There's still no proof of your extraordinary story, Miss Smith. I must check it myself first. Delicate business this, you know?
(He opens the door and the inner door slides back.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
27: INT. FILING ROOM
(They enter the room and SARAH closes the door behind them.)
GENERAL FINCH: It's just a file room.
SARAH: It's a lift.
(SARAH opens the filing cabinet that GROVER was in earlier and starts to pull the file hangers back.)
SARAH: The controls are in here.
(FINCH picks up some of the other files.)
GENERAL FINCH: What's all this bumf?
SARAH: Oh, just a lot of old ministry files.
(SARAH operates the lift but fails to see that FINCH is unholstering his pistol.)
SARAH: There.
(She turns and sees the weapon aimed at her.)
SARAH: Oh, boy! I really do choose my friends, don't I?
(FINCH stares at her but stays silent.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
28: INT. BUNKER. PASSAGE OUTSIDE FILING ROOM LIFT
(The illuminated down light next to the lift goes out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
29: INT. FILING ROOM
(The door opens.)
GENERAL FINCH: I think you know the way.
(SARAH turns and is led out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
30: INT. BUNKER. CONTROL ROOM
(GROVER sits in the control room with WHITAKER as FINCH leads SARAH in.)
GENERAL FINCH: Returning your prisoner, sir.
(GROVER is amazed.)
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: How did you leave the ship?
SARAH: There isn't any spaceship - stop playing.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: (To FINCH.) Did she tell anybody?
GENERAL FINCH: No, fortunately everyone was out of the way. I think the Doctor has escaped again.
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: I did everything you asked me to incriminate him - all wasted.
GENERAL FINCH: You did very well.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: Have you any idea where he is?
GENERAL FINCH: Well, he's probably on his way here now.
(He pushes SARAH down into a chair.)
GENERAL FINCH: But he needn't worry us. The countdown is too close.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: It's time to go into the final phase. You, Whitaker, will produce a last wave of apparition monsters all over London to drive out any remaining people. (To FINCH.) You will order the complete withdrawal of all your troops, including UNIT.
GENERAL FINCH: The Brigadier's bound to protest.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: You have final authority - overrule him.
GENERAL FINCH: Well, I'll see to it right away. Er, what about the girl?
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: Leave her to me.
GENERAL FINCH: Well don't lose her again.
(FINCH leaves as GROVER stands over SARAH.)
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: Now then, what are we to do with you?
SARAH: Just don't put me back on your fake spaceship, that's all.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: I don't think that'd be a good idea. You're rather a bad influence.
SARAH: What you're doing to those people on there is cruel. They all believe that they're going to a new world.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: And so they are - but their new world is this one. This world of ours swept clean and returned to its early innocence.
SARAH: You're going to take them back to the past?
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: We're going to bring the past to them.
SARAH: I don't understand.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: By rolling back time, by taking the Earth back to an earlier, purer age.
SARAH: (Puzzled.) Oh...oh...what about all the people on Earth now?
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: They'll vanish - they and their ancestors will never have been born.
SARAH: That's horrible! It's worse than murder.
CHARLES GROVER M.P.: No...you don't understand. But I hope, Miss Smith, when you do understand, you'll want to be with us. If you're ready, Whitaker?
PROFESSOR WHITAKER: Yes.
(WHITAKER turns to the main time transportation unit. On the monitor a Triceratops is seen to materialise on a roof-top near to Westminster Abbey. GROVER looks pleased.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
31: INT. EXT. LONDON STREET NEAR WESTMINSTER
(On a street near the houses of Parliament, a Brontosaurus eats the leaves of a tree.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
32: EXT. LONDON STREET NEAR ST. PAUL'S
(A Stegosaurus stands in another deserted street overlooking St. Paul's Cathedral.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
33: EXT. ANOTHER LONDON STREET
(Elsewhere, a Tyrannosaurs Rex roars.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
34: EXT. LINDSAY STREET
(Outside Smithfield Market, the DOCTOR pulls to a halt as he sees another Brontosaurs ahead blocking the junction. He whistles in wonder at the sight and turns the jeep round to go back - but at that moment, he comes to a halt as another Tyrannosaurus Rex is materialised in his path...)
|
Plan: A: the monster maker; Q: What has the Doctor been framed as? A: Finch; Q: Who framed the Doctor? A: the army; Q: Who is the Doctor on the run from? A: Grover; Q: Who is Sarah trying to alert UNIT about? Summary: The Doctor has been framed as the monster maker by Finch and is on the run from the army, while Sarah attempts to alert UNIT to what Grover is up to.
|
Julian: I'm working on a plan right now. It's going to be perfect. Nobody's going to get caught. It's going to be smooth.
Ricky: My god Bubbles, the size of this thing.
Bubbles: Oh I know Ricky, look at it. You know though, I've gone over it top to bottom like a bunch of times and I can't find any illegal parts on this thing. You know what I think is going on? Sebastian Bach is Mr. Jealousy Pants. He's jealous of Patrick Swayzie. He made all that sh1t up.
Ricky: Well, he was shooting off pretty hard at that train convention Bubbles.
Julian: How is Axel doing? Right on. Rob Thomas? Well eleven bucks, you can't go wrong man.
Bubbles: Look at the speed it's got.
Ricky: f*cking cool!
Bubbles: The personal train of Patrick Swayzie. De-ee-ecent!
Julian: Can't talk to you on the phone about it okay.
Bubbles: I don't condone crime you know that but thank you for stealing this train for me.
Ricky: Bubbles? You stole the train man. We had nothing to do with it.
Bubbles: Ricky, you cannot tell anybody that we have that train. Promise me.
Ricky: Sure man, yeah. I promise. Whatever. Got a great f*cking idea though. I'm gonna sit over there, you stay here. Get the f*cking bong, put it in one of the cars right here and we can ship bong tokes back and forth to each other.
Bubbles: Decent.
[laughter]
Julian: I think I just figured it out.
I can get the dope to you. Yeah, no problem.
Ricky: I'm telling you Bubbles. Smoking dope, playing with model trains is a good f*cking time man.
[music]
Phil: What are you doing anyway?
Jacob: Nothing Dad.
Phil: Well, what's with all the dye and the beard and the weights and, you look like, what are you trying to look like?
Jacob: Nothing Dad, just leave me alone.
Phil: Listen boy, while you're under my roof, it's my rules.
And burgers is all about them rules. Burgers were good to me, they're good to you.
Jacob: Dad, what are you talking about?
Ricky: Eleven bucks a gram boys, that's what I'm talking about. That's what my dope's worth. I'm glad we waited. So when's whats-his-fucky, Sebastian, coming to pick it up?
Julian: Oh, he's not coming here Rick.
Bubbles: What? What do you mean he's not coming here?
Julian: We're going to smuggle it to him, into Maine. Think about it. At eleven bucks a gram, that's almost five thousand bucks a pound. We got a hundred pounds, do the bath buddy. Cause we're set up, man.
Ricky: Fifty thousand dollars.
Bubbles: No Ricky, that's five hundred thousand dollars.
Ricky: So how the f*ck are we going to get it there?
Julian: With this. We're going to run a track through the woods, across the border. and load the weed onto the freight cars. It's going to be easy.
Ricky: Oh, I get it yeah. Using the train.
Bubbles: Julian. Do you have any idea how much track we'd have to lay to get a train like this into the US undetected?
Julian: Oh yeah, I know. It'd be a lot. Probably a world record Bubbs. But you'd be in charge of it man.
Bubbles: World record. That hadn't crossed my mind Julian.
Ricky: Boys, who are we kidding, I mean. No man, no train has ever done anything like that. Swayzie Express is not powerful enough to pull all that dope.
Bubbles: Ricky, you don't have to try to trick me. We are going to run this train into the US, and make no mistake about it. That world record will be mine.
Ricky: Beer, Bubbles?
Bubbles: Oh, you read my mind, Ricky.
[Muffler rattling]
Mr. Lahey: Check it out boys.
My new office. It's a real good chance I'm going to make Staff Sergeant. It's looking real good. How can I help you guys?
Julian: We need detailed topographical maps of the New Brunswick border. We need to know how many forest rangers are out there, where they're at, what they drive, any kind of information you can get us.
Mr. Lahey: Step into the office boys. Look, if I'm going to be promoted here, you're going to have to chill out. I've been real good to you guys, but we're going to have to put an end to this sh1t.
Ricky: We're all friends. You helped my dad get his rig license back and we took out George and Ted for you.
Julian: Jim. I know sh1t about you, you know sh1t about me. That makes us sh1t brothers. Come on, we're sh1t brothers.
Bubbles: Don't forget, you signed a peace treaty with us Mr. Lahey.
Mr. Lahey: What's going down here?
Julian: Listen, the less you know, the better okay. That's all we can tell you.
Ricky: Yeah Lahey, just get us our f*cking topa, toper, grack, f*cking land papers Jim, just get us the f*cking land papers a.s.a.t. Put them in the mailbox. Don't be a fuckhead.
Julian: Thanks Jim.
Julian: All we need now is some jail cover to take a little scout to Maine for us, today. I know just where to find these dicks.
Ricky: f*ck, is that who I f*cking think it is?
Bubbles: Oh my god, that's Jacob Collins. Julian, he's rocking your look hard.
Ricky: What the f*ck is he wearing?
Bubbles: He's got a back T-shirt, a black goatee, and he's rocking a goofy little drink.
Ricky: Did he dye his f*cking hair? He did!
Bubbles: He looks like you Julian. Without any muscles. Look at the drink, Ricky. It's one of those old mustard glasses, with the diamond and clubs on it.
Julian: Bubbs, lay off Jacob alright.
[Jacob talking]
Ricky: Holy f*ck, look who he's talking too.
Isn't that meat store dicks. f*ck, remember how stupid those guys were? They'd be perfect jail cover. Well, I'll tell you right now, we're not going to find any people dumber than those guys.
Bubbles: They are dumb. My goodness.
Ricky: Let's get them.
Bubbles: A mustard glass.
Jacob: Hey guys. Hey Julian.
Julian: Hey Jacob.
Ricky: Changed the look a little bit have you Jacob? Lower your f*cking drink in front of Julian, respect.
Bubbles: Chaining too Jacob? What are you rocking there? Is that a mustard glass?
Jacob: Yeah.
Bubbles: That's hard core.
Julian: Jacob, you want to hang out with us today.
Jacob: Oh yeah, totally.
Ricky: Julian, get the other two dummies too. We're going to need them alright?
Julian: You and your two friends.
Jacob: Yeah, okay. Yeah.
Julian: Come here for a second. Are you in charge of those guys?
Jacob: Um, yeah, yeah. Those are my boys.
Julian: Alright then, take charge, get them in the f*cking car now.
Jacob: Okay. Hey boys, let's get in the car. Let's f*cking go.
Ricky: Are you f*cking talking to me Jacob?
Julian: No, he's talking to the guys Ricky.
Ricky: Oh. Well, you want to learn how to do it? Hey, cock-a-doodle, f*cking Ketchup chips. Yo-yo dick, get in the f*cking car. Let's go, in the f*cking car now. The trunk.
Julian: Alright, you sit in the back seat. Let's go.
Ricky: You guys shut the f*ck up. Let the big boys talk. You say anything, you're f*cking dead. Understand?
Jacob: What are you going to do to us?
Julian: We're making you part of our crew. Our team of friends. This is the big time now which means you guys can hang out with us.
Ricky: But right now, you're f*cking nothing. Out of the car, on the grass.
Jacob: Move it guys.
Ricky: We're not friends yet. You're nothing. And you're nothing until we say you aren't nothing. And until then, I'm going to be really, really f*cking hard on you guys. Especially you with your f*cking rooster bald headed little, I don't even know what the f*ck that is.
Julian: Ricky!
Ricky: Don't talk to me like f*cking Lahey talks to Randy Julian. I'm serious.
Bubbles: Ricky look, I know these guys are f*cked but maybe you should lighten up on them. Remember what happened to Cory and Trevor.
Jacob: What happened to Cory and Trevor?
Bubbles: Oh nothing.
Ricky: You guys will never, ever be a Cory and Trevor, alright. Cory and Trevor meant the world to me.
Julian: Now I know how much you like the Monte Carlo, so here. Take it for the weekend and have a good time, alright. All expenses paid. Just top up the gas before you give it back to me.
Jacob: I've got an exam next week.
Ricky: What the f*ck are you getting learned that's so important?
Jacob: Hotel/motel management.
Ricky: Motel/motel dumbagement. Give me the f*cking drink.
Julian: Rick.
Ricky: You're drinking f*cking pop? Pop?
Julian: Don't worry about it. You can study along the way, okay? Let's load up the car guys. Okay, here's the map. We got lots of food for you. Bubbles; There's two bags of Shreddies and three bags of licorice boys. That should do ya just fine.
Julian: And this is where I want you to drive to, to do a little recon. for me okay, I mean us. Your friends, alright?
Ricky: What are you still doing here? Get the f*ck over to Bubbles shed for more instructions.
Jacob: Boys, get the f*ck going.
Bubbles: Alright fellows, listen up. I'm the engineer here. And I don't like to repeat myself. Take this camera. You're going to record every road, every bridge, every friggin slope of the land. All the directions are in here. Pay particular attention to the section on leveling the track. If the track's not on level ground, you guys f*cked up.
Jacob: What track?
Ricky: The f*cking train track. That's what this test is all about. To see if you guys are really our friends or not.
Bubbles: This is the track here Jacob. It snaps together like that. Make sure the copper connectors are touching.
Jacob: Okay, that's easy.
Julian: Ready to get behind the wheel of a Monte Carlo? Okay, put it in park. Nice job man.
Ricky: Get out of the f*cking car. You guys somehow manage to pull this off, we're going to be friends, I promise, alright. We even come to vocational school, have lunch with you guys sometimes and take my car to the final exam for all I give a f*ck. We're going to be friends guys if you pull this off.
Bubbles: Gentlemen, there's where you pick up the remainder of the track. It's off Exit 14. There'll be a gentleman named Shitty Bill awaiting your arrival.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Julian: Jacob, come here. If the cops pull you over, we don't know you. We know nothing about what's going on. We'll have to say you stole the car. If it comes down to that, blame it on your dummies.
Jacob: Yeah, totally.
Julian: Friends?
Jacob: Forever.
Ricky: See this?
[gunshots]
Ricky: Get the f*ck back here! Protect Julian's car at all costs.
Protect the train stuff. Then protect yourselves, once all the other stuff is protected.
Jacob: Protect from what?
Ricky: You're going to a remote area. There might be bears. Might. Or, could be some weird sh1t we don't even know about. Safety's off.
Julian: You've got three days. Just don't forget. That car is my life, okay? Three days boys.
Jacob: We can do this.
[Randy coughing]
Randy: Hey Phil, are those cheeseburgers done yet?
Phil: Randy, my son is missing.
And all you can worry about is drugs and f*cking cheeseburgers? Come on, let's get the rest of these posters out and up.
Randy: Geez, Phil, you gotta stop thinking about this. It's going to drive you crazy. Let's talk about something else, like the restaurant. Let's talk about the Dirty Burger. Jacob's going to be okay.
Phil: Let's get these f*cking posters out if you're not too f*cking high!
Randy: Phil, you better relax! sh1t, who's this guy in the sexy jeans?
Phil: Please Randy, this is my son Thomas.
Randy: This is your son? Wow.
Phil: [laughing] Tommy! Oh, I'm glad you're here. Oh, ho, ho, it's good to see you.
Thomas: Dad, let me go. Hey, hi how's it going Okay, so what's going on with Jacob. I saw the posters up. What are the police doing about it. We have to take this seriously.
Phil: I called a cop by the name of Jim Lahey and he hasn't gotten back to me yet.
Thomas: They haven't called back? They haven't gotten back to you? The police haven't gotten back. What's going on here?
Phil: I don't know what the f*ck is going on. I don't know son, but god-damn. My son is missing.
Thomas: Help me out here? What the f*ck?
[Phil yelling]
Thomas: Calm down! Calm down right now.
I want you to cool off. Cool off. Okay. Talk to me.
Phil: Son, I just thought he could have been into drugs so I didn't push it with the police.
Thomas: Who, Jacob? You think Jacob is into drugs? After all you taught us Dad? Jacob isn't messing around with dope or dope dealers.
Ricky: I guarantee you Jacob is as high as f*ck right now, him and those two mutants and they're f*cking up our chance to sell the dope.
Julian: Just keep ripping the posters down and shut up please Ricky. Come on.
Bubbles: Did you guys ever think maybe that Jacob and those two twiggy alien bastards might have got eaten by bears? I mean, this could be Cory and Trevor all over again boys. Somebody's going to go insane off this, you watch.
Ricky: look at you f*cking go. Him and those two f*cking weird looking dicks are probably just partying somewhere. They stole your car man, they f*cked us.
Julian: We just have to find out if there's any police reports or missing persons reports. We've got to talk to Lahey.
Thomas: What are you guys doing? What are you?
Ricky: Who the f*ck are you, and what the f*ck do you want? Nice clothes.
Phil: This is my son Thomas Collins, Jacob's brother.
Ricky: And Timmy or Tommy or whatever the f*ck his son's name is shows up here and he looks like he's adopted, he doesn't look anything like him, but he's clearly not. They're both out of their f*cking god- damned minds.
Thomas: You guys know Jacob? Do you know where he is right now?
Ricky: It wasn't us.
Thomas: It wasn't you guys. Those guys know where Jacob is. They're lying.
Phil: What are you not telling us? What the f*ck do you know about this, you dirty prick.
Julian: Hey, hey, hey. f*ck off Phil.
Ricky: Phil Collins is f*cking out of his mind these days. I don't know what's going on with him?
Phil: My sons and the Dirty Burger is all I got. f*ck them. What about you four-eyes?
Ricky: Holy f*ck!
Bubbles: f*cking, did you just call me four-eyes? You big mustard tiger. All I did was call him a mustard tiger. I mean, he had a big tiger and he was all covered in mustard, and I thought it was, you know, a pretty cute little name and all of the sudden he snaps and starts smashing Ricky's car up with a ladder.
[shouting]
Ricky: Will someone f*cking help me here?
[shouting]
Ricky: You big f*cking weird looking walrus f*ck.
Put the f*cking ladder down.
[Phil shouting]
Bubbles: Calm down! Put the ladder down Phil, that's not fair.
Julian: Sorry I didn't tell you this, but Jacob and his buddies went studying somewhere cause you were going on about the god- damned Dirty Burger so much, okay? You were distracting him.
He borrowed my car. He told me not to tell you.
Phil: Not tell the old man.
Ricky: I'm sick of you talking about f*cking cheeseburgers, we all are. Isn't that right there, sweaty bobany.
Thomas: If you've done something, if you've done something to Jacob, I'll find out and you'll regret the day you ever messed with Philadelphia Collins' sons. Got me?
Julian: f*ck off!
Ricky: Philadelphia?
Thomas: Yeah, Philadelphia Collins.
Bubbles: He looks like he ate Philadelphia.
Julian: Let me deal with this okay. He's studying. Everything's cool Phil.
Thomas: We just gotta walk away. We've got to walk away. Let's go.
Bubbles: Yeah, walk away.
Ricky: You're paying for the f*cking damage to that car too.
Phil: You should pay me for doing a job for you.
Randy: Why don't you find Jacob?
Bubbles: Get going, Lord of the onion rings. Nice socks Randy.
Ricky: Big f*cking surprise you're all hanging out together. You're all f*cked in the head. f*cking Jesus, scratches on my f*cking car.
[bang]
DJ: We like to remind one and all, five cent wings tonight.
All night tonight, you can't go wrong.
[laughter]
Barb Lahey: Oh, excellent, thank you very much.
Mr. Lahey: Hey B.
Two more.
Barb Lahey: And one more.
Mr. Lahey: Thank you. That's good. Get me some water.
Barb Lahey: Oh my god. Jim, it's Sam! I had no idea he was singing here.
Mr. Lahey: Greasy b*st*rd.
Barb Lahey: Oh my god.
Mr. Lahey: We can go somewhere else if you like.
Barb Lahey: No actually, I like this song. Oh go, is he coming over? Is he?
Mr. Lahey: No. Just ignore him, he'll go away Barb. Slow down a bit honey.
Barb Lahey: Well, that's not fast. Four.
[Sam singing]
Sam: Barb Lahey: Hi Sam.
[Sam singing]
Mr. Lahey: Sam.
Barb: Just one second.
[Sam singing]
Bubbles: He looks like one of those guys, serial killer week on the TV.
He looks crazy.
[Sam singing]
Julian: Jim?
Mr. Lahey: What are you boys doing here?
Julian: You know Jacob right?
Mr. Lahey: Has he shown up yet?
Julian: We need you to block any missing persons reports.
This is important Jim. You gotta do this.
Mr. Lahey: Julian, Phil keeps calling me all the time about this. You're putting me in an awkward position here.
[Sam singing and Barb laughing]
Ricky: Hey, pay attention, we're serious.
Mr. Lahey: Oh sh1t.
Oh f*ck.
Ricky: f*ck!
Barb Lahey: [groaning]
Mr. Lahey: Get your hands off her, cave man.
Sam: She just needs a little air Jim.
Mr. Lahey: Sam, you stay away from Barb or you'll feel the heat. Remember heat, quest for fire?
Sam: Enough of the caveman comments.
Julian: Are you starting sh1t here? Outside Sam, let's go.
Sam: f*ck! Watch the way you talk to me. All of you. Bubbles; Sam, check your beard. You got a big, big piece of chicken in there.
Mr. Lahey: Thanks Julian. I owe you one bud.
Julian: Block the missing persons reports.
Mr. Lahey: You're almost home Barb.
Barb Lahey: [groaning]
Mr. Lahey: Hey guys, give me a hand here please. Come on Barb. Bed time.
Bubbles: Mr. Lahey.
Mr. Lahey: Yeah Bubbs?
Bubbles: What would happen if Phil Collins reported Jacob missing and said the last time he was seen was in Julian's car?
Mr. Lahey: There's no question Bubbs. You'd be investigated. I can't stop that. I can hold off the missing persons report for another day, day and a half on the outside. Come on, let's go.
Barb Lahey: Oh Bubbles, I love you.
Bubbles: Oh, I love you too Barb. Banged your noodle.
Mr. Lahey: Take it easy guys. Come on Julian, give us a hand.
Julian: Jim, Jim, You gotta help us out on this okay? We can't get the police involved now. We got too much crazy sh1t on the go Jim.
Barb Lahey: Oh Julian, such big muscles.
Mr. Lahey: Julian, come here bud. This is the kind of sh1t I'm talking about. You gotta find those guys real fast or I'm going to have to get involved in this officially. And you're not going to like that, are you Julian?
Julian: Let's get out of here.
Mr. Lahey: Thanks for your help, boys.
Ricky: Those little book nerds. Man, they ripped us off. They stole your f*cking car Julian. They probably sold that and spent it on drugs or f*cking fried chicken and sh1t.
Bubbles: We should go looking for them, shouldn't we? Tomorrow? I mean, they could be lost or there's the distinct possibility that they've been f*cked by bears.
Ricky: f*cked by bears?
Julian: I'm starting to think something went terribly wrong.
Bubbles: That's what I'm saying. Maybe they got f*cked by bears.
Julian: No, something worse.
Bubbles: What's worse than getting f*cked by bears!?
[Crickets]
|
Plan: A: a scheme; Q: What do Julian and Sebastian hatch? A: Patrick Swayze's oversized model train; Q: What do Julian and Sebastian Bach use to smuggle Ricky's marijuana into the United States? A: The Boys; Q: Who has to rely on Jacob and his loser friends to do their dirty work? A: Jacob; Q: Who develops an obsession with Julian? A: the extreme; Q: What does Jacob begin imitating Julian to? Summary: Julian and Sebastian Bach hatch a scheme to smuggle Ricky's marijuana into the United States using Patrick Swayze's oversized model train. The Boys, now without Cory and Trevor, have to rely on Jacob and his loser friends to do their dirty work; Jacob develops an obsession with Julian and begins imitating him to the extreme.
|
2.09 - Run Away, Little Boy
OPEN AT LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai walks in the front door]
LORELAI: I'm back!
RORY: Kitchen!
LORELAI: Mmkay, I couldn't make up my mind so I got 'The Shining' and 'Bringing Up Baby.' Now, I know you're thinking, one's a movie about a homicidal parent and the other one's . . . .hello.
[Sookie and Rory are standing in front of the kitchen table.]
SOOKIE: Hi.
RORY: Hi Mom.
LORELAI: What'd you break?
SOOKIE: Nothing. Well, the broiler. But this came for you and Max.
[Sookie and Rory move apart to reveal a gift on the table.]
RORY: We're thinking it's a wedding present.
LORELAI: Huh. Mmm. Lorelai Gilmore and Max Medina. Well, I guess news doesn't always travel fast.
SOOKIE: You gonna open it?
LORELAI: No.
SOOKIE: But aren't you curious?
LORELAI: No. Just leave it there. I'll take it back tomorrow.
RORY: But there's not a return address.
LORELAI: Well isn't there a card?
RORY: Nope. Maybe there's one inside.
SOOKIE: With the return address on it.
RORY: But that means you'd have to open it to find out.
LORELAI: Fine, give me a knife.
SOOKIE: Ooh! This is so exciting! Maybe not.
[Lorelai cuts open the package and they tear the paper off]
RORY: An ice cream maker!
SOOKIE: A Musso Lussino 480!
LORELAI: Somebody sent me a fascist ice cream maker?
SOOKIE: Italian design, stainless steel body, chrome finish.
LORELAI: And no card. Perfect.
SOOKIE: Jackson just got in his apple crop! We can make cider ice cream!
LORELAI: Yes we can, using his ice cream maker, but Il Duce here is going back.
RORY: To where? Maybe it's an orphan.
SOOKIE: That's right. We'd be giving it a home.
LORELAI: Okay, once again, I bring up the fact that this is a wedding present, and as I am not getting married, neither God's law nor Emily Post allows me to keep this.
RORY: But isn't there a rule about late presents?
SOOKIE: Like if it arrives after a certain date, the giver forfeits all rights of return.
RORY: Exactly.
LORELAI: Nice try.
SOOKIE: It's true. I saw it on Martha Stewart. She was doing one of those double programs, and the first half was on massaging your dog, and she had this chow and she was rubbing it
LORELAI: Sookie.
SOOKIE: But the second half was about gifts, and she said that if it arrives after ten weeks
RORY: Eight.
SOOKIE: eight weeks, that you don't have to return it.
LORELAI: Okay, clearly this is shaping up to be one of those moments that St. Peter's gonna show on the big video screen when I die, and I for one do not wanna see the three of us staggering around with cider ice cream slathered all over our faces while my soul hangs in the balance, so until I can find out who sent this, no one goes near it. And we're watching 'The Shining.' [leaves kitchen]
SOOKIE: I bet Max would let us keep it.
OPENING CREDITS
CUT TO CHILTON CLASSROOM
TEACHER: Believe it or not, Shakespeare probably never intended his plays to be read by students sitting at decks more concerned with getting A's than with the fate of Macbeth. His plays were meant to be experienced, lived. So with that in mind, together with my third period Shakespeare, you'll be split up into five groups and each group will assume responsibility for one act of Romeo and Juliet, which will be performed a week from Sunday. You will nominate the director, you will cast the scene, rehearse the scene, and interpret the scene in your own individual manner. Last year, we did Richard the Third. One group did their scene as the Mafiosi. Another set theirs during the Roman Empire. And my favorite, the climactic last scene was set during the final days of the Sonny and Cher show. Just remember, whatever interpretation you choose should highlight the themes you see in the scene. And if the love of the Bard's language still doesn't inspire you, remember this will be fifty percent of your final grade.
MADELINE: Act five.
LOUISE: Act five.
PARIS: Act five?
RORY: Act five.
PARIS: Why don't they just sew our sides together and rename us Chang and Eng?
CUT TO HALLWAY
HENRY: Rory.
RORY: Henry, hi.
HENRY: Hey. Act three, sword fight. You?
RORY: Oh, Act five, death scene.
HENRY: Nice. So, uh, tonight, 8 o'clock?
RORY: I'll tell Lane.
[Paris walks up to them]
PARIS: Rory, sorry to interrupt. Hi Henry. But see, we're all standing over there trying to map out a game plan and a rehearsal schedule, and I'm sure whatever the two of you are talking about over here is so much more fascinating and important and, well gosh, let's just say it, fun. But I'd really like to get an 'A' on this assignment, and in order to do that I'm afraid you're gonna have to discuss your sock hops and your clambakes some other time, okay? Thanks. [walks away]
HENRY: That was scary.
RORY: It's gonna be a lot scarier when she gets an megaphone in her hands.
[cut down the hallway to Paris, Madeline and Louise. Rory walks over to them]
PARIS: So, I say we meet in the cafeteria. The acoustics are very similar to the Grand Hall, and. . . oh, well look who showed up.
RORY: Sorry.
PARIS: Save it.
LOUISE: Well, well, well. Look who's back from suspension.
RORY: Tristin got suspended again?
PARIS: Oh, like you hadn't noticed he'd been gone?
RORY: What did he do?
MADELINE: Took apart Mr. McCaffey's car and put it back together in the science building hallway.
RORY: You're kidding.
LOUISE: Yeah, well he didn't do it by himself. Duncan and Bowman were there too.
MADELINE: Plus the mechanics that they paid to do the actual work.
PARIS: Hey, anyone stupid enough to hand out with Butch Cassidy and the Sun-dunce kid deserves whatever they get.
RORY: How did he fall in with those guys?
MADELINE: The new year started and there they were, all three of them, side by side.
LOUISE: And practically dressing the same.
MADELINE: It's very On the Town.
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai is on the couch talking on the phone.]
LORELAI: Aunt Bobby, hi. It's Lorelai, Richard and Emily's girl. Um, I'm the one with. . . yeah, that's right. Wow, you don't hear the word wedlock much anymore.
RORY: I'm home!
LORELAI: Uh huh, uh huh, really? The Bible said all that, huh? Did it, did it mention me by name? I'm just. . .okay, I'm just kidding. So, um, judging by your Billy Graham impression, I am guessing that you didn't send me an ice cream maker, so maybe you could just give me Aunt Clarissa's phone number? Oh no, I hadn't heard. That's terrible. Uh huh. Well, then I guess she had it coming, didn't she? Hey, listen, I'd love to chat about who else is the family is currently or soon to be headed for hell, but I've gotta run, so I promise to call in the next twenty years, okay? Bye bye. [hangs up] How scary is it that my parents are turning our to be the normal ones in the family?
RORY: No luck?
LORELAI: Well, I still have the, uh, Pennsylvania Gilmores, but how was your day?
RORY: I have to perform Act Five of Romeo and Juliet with Paris, Madeline, and Louise.
LORELAI: Really?
RORY: Paris has appointed herself as director.
LORELAI: Nice. What part are you playing?
RORY: I don't know yet. She's still mulling over the screen tests right now. We're gonna find out tomorrow.
LORELAI: Screen tests?
RORY: 24 takes.
LORELAI: Ah, I so want a copy.
RORY: Forget it.
LORELAI: Sell it on the Internet, make a fortune. First we brought you Pamela and Tommy Lee, now prepare yourselves for the crazy antics of Rory and the Bard!
RORY: Oh, and I told Paris that you would make all of our costumes so she wants to have a concept meeting with you tomorrow at three.
LORELAI: What?
RORY: Yeah, she needs a resume and samples of your previous work and, uh, referrals.
LORELAI: And my bare butt to kiss.
RORY: If you think that will set you apart from the other applicants, yes. Hey, I didn't know that there was someone in our family named Bunny.
LORELAI: Oh, cross her off the list.
RORY: Poor Bunny. [phone rings] Hello?
HENRY: Hey.
RORY: Henry, hi.
HENRY: Am I late?
RORY: No, right on time. Hold on.
LORELAI: Hey hon, I'm heading for class. There's pizza-slash-Luke's money on the table for dinner.
RORY: Thank you.
[Rory puts Henry on hold and calls Lane; at Lane's house, Mrs. Kim answers the phone]
MRS. KIM: Kim's Antiques.
RORY: Hello Mrs. Kim, this is Rory. May I please speak with Lane?
MRS. KIM: Lane is studying.
LANE: Wait, Mama. Mama, is that for me?
MRS. KIM: Why?
LANE: Well, I was just expecting a call from Rory and I thought. . .
MRS. KIM: You do your math?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: History?
LANE: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Biology?
LANE: No.
MRS. KIM: Why?
LANE: Well, I'm not taking biology.
MRS. KIM: Why?
LANE: I took it last year.
MRS. KIM: And that's it? One year and you know all there is to know.
LANE: Well, I. . .
MRS. KIM: Tomorrow we look into private school.
LANE: Mama, please, the phone.
MRS. KIM: Five minutes. I'm counting.
LANE: Hello?
RORY: Lane. Hold on. Henry?
HENRY: Here.
RORY: Lane?
LANE: Here.
RORY: Okay guys, talk to you later. [hangs up]
LANE: So, Rory, how are you?
HENRY: I'm good, how are you doing?
[back at Lorelai's house]
LORELAI: Okay, I'm gone. Hey, um, do me a favor, make some of those calls for me.
RORY: Don't you think you may be going a little far with this?
LORELAI: What do you mean?
RORY: I mean, I understand that you wanna return the ice cream maker, but you did make an honest effort to get in touch with the person that sent this to you, and. . .
LORELAI: It's called closure, hon. I need it, okay?
RORY: Okay. Uncle Randolph. Oh, sorry guys. They'll be off in a sec.
LORELAI: Okay, don't wait too long. I think Randolph was Bunny's older brother.
RORY: Got it.
CUT TO BUSINESS CLASS
[Lorelai gets a burrito from the vending machine in the break room. A man walks over to her.]
PAUL: One again, ladies and gentlemen, she takes the last burrito.
LORELAI: And hello to you too.
PAUL: Week after week, how do you do it?
LORELAI: I told you, correct change. You go in for that dollar bill nonsense, you'll be standing there for ten minutes watching it. Ehhh. Eh eh eh.
PAUL: And here I thought you had a special relationship with this vending machine.
LORELAI: Only in the sense that it keeps me alive.
PAUL: I actually have theory on that.
LORELAI: Uh oh.
PAUL: You know, ever since we were children, we got our nourishment from our mothers.
LORELAI: Okay, are you trying to gross me out so I can't eat my burrito?
PAUL: And now, we're getting it from machines.
LORELAI: Your point being?
PAUL: I think it's a conspiracy getting us ready for the day we're all gonna be raised by machines. No human contact whatsoever.
LORELAI: You know my mother, don't you?
PAUL: The, uh, Twilight Zone marathon was on all week.
LORELAI: So all of this is a way of saying you wanna look at my notes on the reading.
PAUL: Such perception.
LORELAI: And in one so young and beautiful. Frightening, isn't it?
PAUL: You know, I feel bad about doing this every week.
LORELAI: Really? I would've thought you would've gotten used to it by now.
PAUL: Come on Lorelai. I gotta pay you back somehow. How about you let me take you out to dinner one night?
LORELAI: Dinner?
PAUL: Yeah, maybe even somewhere that doesn't require correct change, unless you're firmly into the whole coin thing, then I know a good automat.
LORELAI: Oh, I don't know.
PAUL: Well, I was kidding about the whole automat.
LORELAI: No, an automat's fine. Um, it's just, uh, my schedule's kinda crazy for the next couple weeks.
PAUL: Okay. Well, it's just a thought. But if you suddenly get an opening, give me a call. [hands her a business card]
LORELAI: Oh, great, sure, thanks. Enjoy the notes.
PAUL: Thank you. Enjoy the burrito.
CUT TO CHILTON CAFETERIA
[Rory walks over to the table where Madeline, Louise, and a boy are sitting.]
RORY: Hey.
MADELINE: Hey.
LOUISE: We're the Monkees.
RORY: Where's Paris?
MADELINE: She'll be here in a minute. She said she had to get some things.
RORY: [to boy] Hi, I'm Rory.
BRAD: I'm Brad. From the third period Shakespeare.
LOUISE: He's the answer to our lack of boys problem. Isn't that swell?
RORY: Well, maybe we should start.
MADELINE: Without Paris?
LOUISE: Ooh, that could be lethal.
RORY: We could at least decide on what motif we want to do.
[Paris walks in carrying a box]
PARIS: We're doing traditional Elizabethan.
RORY: Elizabethan? But I thought the point of this was to . . .
PARIS: The point is to get an A, not to make Romeo and Juliet into a Vegas lounge act. Besides, we have the death scene. It's classic, it's famous. Who are you?
BRAD: I'm, uh, Brad. From the third period Shakespeare, ma'am.
PARIS: Okay. Now I want everyone to read the chapters on acting I photocopied out of Houseman's Memoirs tonight. Everyone will be off book by Friday, and if you plan on missing rehearsal, you better bring a coroner's note.
[Paris places a sword on the table]
RORY: Tell me you didn't just have that lying around.
PARIS: We're short on boys. That makes you Romeo. Louise, you can play the Friar.
LOUISE: Excuse me?
[Tristin walks in and sits down at their table]
TRISTIN: Well, well, the gang's all here.
PARIS: This is a meeting.
TRISTIN: Yeah, sorry I'm late.
PARIS: What do you think you're doing?
TRISTIN: Uh, Professor Anderson forgot to include me when she made up the groups, so she told me to pick one.
PARIS: Fine, you have four other acts to choose from. Take your pick.
TRISTIN: Yeah, well Summer's in act 1, Beth and Jessica are in act 2, Kate's in act 3, and uh, Claire, Kathy, and Mary are in act 4. So this is the only one free of ex-girlfriends.
PARIS: So we're being punished for our good taste?
TRISTIN: Oh, Paris, you hurt me. Do you no longer have any need for me at all?
LOUISE: Yes, we have great need. You can be our Romeo.
RORY: Brad is Romeo!
LOUISE: Put in your other contact Grandma. Tristin is Romeo. Brad can be the second guard on the left.
PARIS: No.
MADELINE: She's kinda right, Paris. Tristin was born to be Romeo.
PARIS: Hey, I'm the director and I'll decide who's born to be what, and Brad is Romeo.
LOUISE: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
PARIS: What'd you say?
LOUISE: Just perhaps that someone is letting her personal feeling interfere with her leadership.
PARIS: My only feeling is that I don't wanna give the most important part to someone who can't even manage to stay in school.
LOUISE: I'm just gonna say one thing: fifty percent of our final grade.
TRISTIN: Is there gonna be any scratching involved, or is this just a verbal thing?
PARIS: What do you think about this?
RORY: Well, how are you at speaking in front of a lot of people?
BRAD: I tend to throw up.
PARIS: Fine, but I swear, you flake on this and you'll pray you get suspended.
TRISTIN: I gotta run. Are we done here?
PARIS: Rehearsal, tomorrow night.
LOUISE: Good. So now Brad can be Friar Tuck and I can be Juliet.
PARIS: Wrong.
LOUISE: Hey.
PARIS: Juliet's supposed to be chaste.
LOUISE: Oh.
MADELINE: Then . . .
PARIS: And she has more than three lines.
MADELINE: Oh.
RORY: Oh no.
PARIS: Too late.
RORY: It can't be too late, we haven't done anything yet.
PARIS: You're Juliet. You're the best public speaker here, you've definitely got that waif thing down, and you'll look great dead. Next order of business. I did some location scouting this morning, and I think the courtyard outside. . . .
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN
[Sookie carries a plate of pancakes over to Michel]
SOOKIE: Okay, here we go. Low fat, whole wheat blueberry pancakes.
MICHEL: Are there twelve?
SOOKIE: Twelve what?
MICHEL: Blueberries. I can only have twelve blueberries for breakfast.
SOOKIE: Or what?
MICHEL: What do you mean, or what?
SOOKIE: What happens if you eat thirteen blueberries?
MICHEL: Well this is a silly conversation.
SOOKIE: Would you die?
MICHEL: Just hand me the plate.
SOOKIE: Only if you don't count.
MICHEL: I won't count.
SOOKIE: Swear. Raise your right hand and say, 'May Destiny's Child break up if I count these blueberries.'
MICHEL: Pick another group.
SOOKIE: Nope.
MICHEL: I hate you! Hate you!
[Michel walks out of the kitchen as Lorelai carries the ice cream maker in and puts it on the counter]
LORELAI: Wow, I gotta start getting in earlier.
SOOKIE: Hey, I remember you.
LORELAI: I am donating it to the inn.
SOOKIE: Well, honey, that's very thoughtful.
LORELAI: Yes it is.
SOOKIE: But we have an ice cream maker, a professional one. See, that means we can make enough ice cream for everyone in the inn, whereas this little guy
LORELAI: Fernando.
SOOKIE: Fernando, try as he might, can only make enough ice cream for, well, you, so . . .
LORELAI: So we don't need him here?
SOOKIE: No, we don't.
LORELAI: Well can't you find some use for him? I mean, he's new and shiny, and it's not his fault that he's part of the other life that I almost had but don't have now, and kinda don't wanna be reminded of.
SOOKIE: I guess I could put my change in him.
LORELAI: Thank you.
SOOKIE: Honey, can I say something?
LORELAI: Shoot.
SOOKIE: I'm a little concerned about you.
LORELAI: Why?
SOOKIE: You just seem very emotional about this ice cream maker.
LORELAI: I am not.
SOOKIE: You named the ice cream maker.
LORELAI: I name everything.
SOOKIE: You didn't name the toaster.
LORELAI: Poppy.
SOOKIE: You just made that up.
LORELAI: I did not. All right, but admit it, Poppy is a damn good name for a toaster.
SOOKIE: It's been quite awhile since you and Max have broken up
LORELAI: I'm fine Sookie.
SOOKIE: Okay, you're fine. But are you moving on?
LORELAI: Yes, I'm moving on.
SOOKIE: Well, then how many dates have you had post-Max?
LORELAI: What does that have to do with anything?
SOOKIE: I just feel like you're hibernating.
LORELAI: I'm not hibernating.
SOOKIE: Yes you are.
LORELAI: Hey, hey, woo. Look at this skirt, huh? I'm not hibernating.
SOOKIE: Then how many dates have you been on?
LORELAI: I was engaged Sookie, you don't just get over that.
SOOKIE: But you went through your mourning period.
LORELAI: Yes.
SOOKIE: And you said it was over.
LORELAI: It was. . .is.
SOOKIE: Well, are you at least putting the vibe out there so they'll know you're available?
LORELAI: Okay, look, if it'll make you feel any better, okay, I just got asked out the other night.
SOOKIE: What? You're kidding! Who is he?
LORELAI: Some guy from my business class.
SOOKIE: Oh, business class.
LORELAI: He's a pretty cool guy, actually. He's cute, funny, and, um, he's a little younger, but, uh, he's very sharp. You know, we have this little bit going about me stealing his burrito.
SOOKIE: Oh, stealing his burrito. You kids!
LORELAI: No, like a real burrito.
SOOKIE: Oh, stolen his burrito.
LORELAI: Okay, forget the burrito Sookie.
SOOKIE: Fine. When you guys going out?
LORELAI: Well, I didn't exactly say yes.
SOOKIE: Why not? You've already got the skirt.
LORELAI: Because, I don't know, what if it doesn't work out? And then class will be weird, and it'll definitely screw up our burrito bit.
SOOKIE: Aw honey, come on, every guy doesn't have to be the guy.
LORELAI: I don't know. Isn't it too soon for the transition guy?
SOOKIE: Don't think of him as the transition guy. Think of him as the pre-transition guy.
LORELAI: A pre-transition guy? You're allowed that?
SOOKIE: Absolutely.
LORELAI: Wow, I gotta read the rulebook more carefully.
SOOKIE: So?
LORELAI: So. . . I will call him later tonight.
SOOKIE: Great! That's so great!
[Michel comes in and tries to take the pancakes. Sookie grabs his arm.]
SOOKIE: It's all or nothing Sparky.
MICHEL: Damn you!
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai sits at the kitchen table sewing the costumes while Rory walks into the living room talking to Lane on the phone.]
RORY: She's letting you go? That's amazing. What changed her mind?
LANE: I let her watch the Romeo and Juliet movie with Leo and Claire Danes.
RORY: Really? I would've thought she'd hated it.
LANE: Oh, she did. But trust my mom to turn one of the world's great love stories into a cautionary tale of what happens when children disobey their parents.
RORY: So I'm guessing that you're not any closer to telling your parents about Henry.
LANE: I mean, what are the options if I tell them? They hate him, and it's over. They love him, and he therefore becomes odious to me and it's over. Things are working out fine the way they are.
RORY: You mean calling him Rory on the phone in case your mom's listening?
LANE: I've grown fond of my cage Rory.
MRS. KIM: Lane!
LANE: Bye.
RORY: Bye. [hangs up]
[Lorelai walks into the living room wearing the Juliet headpiece.]
LORELAI: What dost my lady think?
RORY: That you're going to be late for the joust?
LORELAI: I meant of thy lovely headdress crafted by thy mother's hand artful hand?
RORY: It pleaseth me mucheth, but uh, hath my beautius mother lookedeth at the time?
LORELAI: Oh crap!
[Lorelai runs upstairs as the phone rings; Rory answers]
RORY: Hello?
PARIS: Two other groups are rehearsing at school in the Grand Hall even though I specifically reserved it for us way in advance and confirmed the reservation twice, but whatever. They're going to be there and I don't want them spying on us.
RORY: I don't think the ending to Romeo and Juliet is exactly a secret.
PARIS: Hello, our interpretation?
RORY: Oh right.
PARIS: I went on the web and I found a site called MissPatty.net. It's in your town.
RORY: There's a MissPatty.net?
PARIS: Have you heard of it?
RORY: Well. . .
PARIS: Is it big enough? The site says it's 720 square feet.
RORY: You know, I'd rather just rehearse somewhere else.
PARIS: Look, I've got enough to worry about without you being embarrassed of where you live.
RORY: I'm not embarrassed. I just want to keep my school life separate from my home life, you know?
PARIS: Tough. Madeline and Louise are already on their way. See you in half an hour.
[Rory hangs up as Lorelai comes down the steps]
LORELAI: Have you seen my bag with the beads and the fur, kind of looks like Stalin's head? Aha.
RORY: We're rehearsing here now.
LORELAI: What?
RORY: Our Shakespeare group. Paris didn't want anyone spying on us so now we're rehearsing in Stars Hollow. This sucks.
LORELAI: Well, at least you don't have to drive to Hartford. What's with the face?
RORY: It's just, Tristin is in our group.
LORELAI: Oh yeah, you told me.
RORY: Right, so Tristin, he's in our group, so that means he's in well, and Dean lives here, so this sucks.
LORELAI: Okay, you know what Vanna? I'm gonna need a few more vowels here.
RORY: I have to tell him.
LORELAI: Tell who?
RORY: Dean?
LORELAI: Tell Dean what?
RORY: That Tristin and I. . .that we kissed at that stupid party.
LORELAI: Oh.
RORY: I have no choice.
LORELAI: Well
RORY: Because if Tristin sees Dean, he's gonna tell him. And then it's gonna be worse because it's gonna be like I was keeping it from him.
LORELAI: Okay, let's just calm down now.
RORY: Which I was. I was keeping it from him. I can't believe this, now I have to tell him.
LORELAI: You're right.
RORY: I am?
LORELAI: Mm hmm. I think you should tell him.
RORY: Of course, right, I have to.
LORELAI: Yeah. Then at the play, right as Tristin enters to find you dead and pulls out the vial of poison to kill himself, Dean can leap from the audience and rip his head off, adding a level of reality few productions have ever seen before. You'll get an A. The Actors Studio will go nuts. You'll have James Lipton asking you what your favorite swear word is. It's a great plan.
RORY: You - not helping.
LORELAI: To prevent a homicide? Yes I am.
RORY: I have to tell him. I don't have a choice.
LORELAI: Okay, fine. Try it out on me first.
RORY: What?
LORELAI: Pretend I'm Dean. If you're going to tell him this, you'd better have down what you're going to say.
RORY: Seriously?
LORELAI: Seriously.
RORY: Okay. Dean.
LORELAI: Rory. Sorry, serious now.
RORY: Okay, Dean, remember last year when we had broken up, and we weren't together anymore because we had broken up
LORELAI: That's good, mention it three times. Keep going.
RORY: And uh, there was this party, and I went, and, um, Tristin was there. And somehow, I'm not really sure how, we ended up in a room together, and we kissed.
LORELAI: You and Tristin?
RORY: Uh huh.
LORELAI: On the hand?
RORY: No.
LORELAI: Cheek?
RORY: No.
LORELAI: He kissed you or you kissed him?
RORY: Kind of both.
LORELAI: So you kissed him?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: When?
RORY: I already told you three times, when we were broken up!
LORELAI: Okay, not a good idea to yell at him right now.
RORY: Sorry.
LORELAI: When during the breakup?
RORY: What do you mean?
LORELAI: I mean, how long after we broke up did you kiss Tristin?
RORY: Uhh, just the night after we broke up.
LORELAI: You mean the night after I told you I loved you?
RORY: Yes.
LORELAI: The next night, after I told you I loved you, you kissed Tristin?
RORY: I'm a terrible person!
LORELAI: Hold on.
RORY: He's absolutely right. He told me he loved me and the next night I go and I kiss Tristin.
LORELAI: Hey, that was me, not Dean.
RORY: I hate myself.
LORELAI: You didn't do anything wrong. You were hurt and confused and broken up. You did nothing wrong.
RORY: Tell that to Dean.
LORELAI: No, because we're not telling Dean anything.
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: Listen to me. I know you are Miss Honesty. I have seen the banner in the closet. But this is the kind of honesty that will only make you feel less guilty, and it's going to hurt Dean very much. It's possibly going to screw up the really good thing you guys have going now. Do you want that?
RORY: No, I don't.
LORELAI: All right then. Relax. Be calm. Everything will be fine.
RORY: Okay.
LORELAI: I gotta go. Can I ask you one more question? Do you think my hair looks cool?
RORY: Bye.
LORELAI: 'Cause, you know, some days I wake up and I'm like, cool. Some days I'm like, could be cooler.
RORY: I won't wait up for you.
LORELAI: Like today I got up and I was like, left side cool, right side not so cool.
RORY: Bye.
LORELAI: Bye.
CUT TO MISS PATTY'S STUDIO
[Miss Patty instructs several older people who lay on mats on the floor]
MISS PATTY: Just listen to your breathing and let the world melt away. And in, and out. And in, and out.
[Paris walks in]
PARIS: Excuse me. We reserved this place for 8 sharp and right now my watch says 8:04.
MISS PATTY: Well, then tell it to go outside and have a smoke. You can't rush a cool down sweetheart.
PARIS: Look, I understand the whole Mystic Pizza, small town, 'we don't let a clock run our lives' thing, but I come from the big city where money talks and I'm paying good money for this place and I have a schedule to keep.
MISS PATTY: Be careful darling, or your face is gonna freeze like that.
[Rory, Louise, Madeline, and Brad walk in]
RORY: Hey.
LOUISE: What's with the cast from Cocoon?
PARIS: Where's Tristin? He said he was coming with you.
MADELINE: Oh, he's here. He just went over to the market.
RORY: What?
LOUISE: He needed cigarettes, just in case we didn't already know that he was bad.
RORY: Umm, I'll be right back.
PARIS: Where are you going?
RORY: I'll just be a sec. [leaves]
PARIS: Okay, now they're just sleeping.
CUT TO INSIDE DOOSE'S MARKET
[Dean is stocking shelves as Tristin walks over to him.]
TRISTIN: Excuse me stockboy, could you tell me where I can find the shortneing? Now that is a fine looking apron. I mean it, I mean, really sensational.
DEAN: What are you doing here?
TRISTIN: Well, to be honest, there's something I wanted to ask you. [picks up two bags of flour] In your professional opinion, which one of these would make my cakes fluffier?
DEAN: You drove all the way out here just to be a jerk. There aren't enough people who can't stand you in Hartford.
TRISTIN: Oh, no. I'm here for Rory.
DEAN: What?
TRISTIN: Yeah, the play. Romeo and Juliet.
DEAN: What about it?
TRISTIN: I'm Romeo, and she's Juliet. Hey, come on, she must've told you. She did tell you, didn't she?
DEAN: Look, I think you better leave.
[Tristin drops a bag of flour on the floor]
TRISTIN: Oops! God I am so sorry. I am such a klutz. Here, let me. This should cover it. [drops some money on the floor]
DEAN: You know what, I hope for Rory's sake that you got an understudy.
[Rory runs up to them]
RORY: Dean, hi!
DEAN: Rory, what is he doing here?
RORY: I need to talk to you.
DEAN: I got something to settle with this guy.
RORY: Outside, please.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO OUTSIDE
[Rory and Dean walk out of the market]
DEAN: All right, I'm outside.
RORY: I'm really sorry I didn't tell you about this before, but Tristin
DEAN: Is playing Romeo to your Juliet. Yeah, I heard.
RORY: But he wasn't even in our group at first, but then no one else wanted him, and then Paris moved the rehearsal spot to here, and she did it today and I didn't have time to tell you.
DEAN: You and Tristin wind up thrown together a lot at that school.
RORY: It's just a project, that's all, nothing more.
DEAN: You and Tristin playing Romeo and Juliet. Perfect. Really, really amazing.
RORY: I know you hate it.
DEAN: Yeah, I hate it. I really hate it.
RORY: But we do the scene on Sunday, and then it's over. And it's back to, Tristin? Who? I don't ... I don't know Tristin.
DEAN: You must mean that young boy who got mysteriously strangled by a Doose's market apron one night.
RORY: I heard about that. Awful. They say drugs were involved. Please don't be mad. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry.
DEAN: Sorry about what? You didn't. . .you didn't choose to do this with him, right?
RORY: No, I didn't.
DEAN: Then what do you have to be sorry for?
RORY: That. . .that I didn't tell you about the rehearsal. And that No Doubt is touring with U2. I know you're extremely disappointed in Bono.
DEAN: All right, so, so when's this thing over?
RORY: Sunday.
DEAN: Okay. I'm gonna walk around the block, just get him out of the market.
RORY: Right away.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Rory is sitting at a table eating as Lorelai walks in and sits with her.]
LORELAI: Oh, thank goodness, you ordered. I am starving.
RORY: What are you doing here? I thought you went out to dinner.
LORELAI: Well, I did go out to dinner.
RORY: Then why are you eating mine?
LORELAI: Well, he took me to this darling little place called Minnie's. Very hip, very chic, very small portions.
RORY: So how'd it go?
LORELAI: Well
RORY: Aww.
LORELAI: You know, we talked about all the things we had in common and then the salad came.
RORY: Not a soulmate?
LORELAI: He's never seen Ab Fab.
RORY: Definitely not a soulmate.
LORELAI: Plus, he's outdoorsy. Remember that Meryl Streep movie where she and her family take a rafting trip and then psycho Kevin Bacon forces them to take 'em down the river?
RORY: Yeah.
LORELAI: Okay, that's his dream vacation, minus Kevin Bacon.
RORY: Wow.
LORELAI: Whereas mine is Kevin Bacon, minus the river, so...
RORY: Hey, moving on.
LORELAI: Yeah. But I must say, I'm really glad I went tonight.
RORY: Yeah?
LORELAI: Yeah. I mean, it was fun to kinda get dressed up and have a freshly laundered man open the door for me. And the best part about it was, it was no big deal. I mean, we laughed a little, we hugged goodnight, I'll never date him again, but I do believe the burrito bit will live on. It was a totally casual date. I am now officially a casual dater.
RORY: That's great. And we can celebrate by getting you your own plate of fries.
LORELAI: Huh.
RORY: Hey Luke, can we get another round?
LUKE: Coming right up.
LORELAI: So tell me about the big rehearsal.
RORY: We got off to a shaky start, and Louise acts like she's the priest in a Madonna video, but by the end, we were not half bad.
LORELAI: Good good.
RORY: Tristin ran into Dean.
LORELAI: Ugh, bad bad.
RORY: It's okay though because I pulled them apart without any bloodshed and I explained it all to Dean.
LORELAI: You explained it all to Dean?
RORY: I told him that Tristin wasn't supposed to be in our group and Paris moved the rehearsal to Miss Patty's at the last minute and that's why he didn't know about it.
LORELAI: Oh, that version of all.
RORY: But Dean's fine now.
LORELAI: He's fine?
RORY: He's fine.
LUKE: You want a burger too?
LORELAI: Hmm, no, I'll just have half of hers.
RORY: One burger please.
LUKE: You look all dressed up.
LORELAI: Do I? Because I feel very casual.
[Dean walks into the diner and sits down with them]
DEAN: Hey.
RORY: Hi, you just got off work?
DEAN: Yup.
LORELAI: Hey Dean. Do you want some fries?
DEAN: No, I'm actually going home for dinner. My mom made fried chicken tonight and she saved me some.
LORELAI: Oh, you have a cooking mom.
RORY: That's so nice.
LORELAI: Well, she may make chicken, but is she a casual dater?
RORY: I hope not. She's married.
DEAN: Do I wanna know what either one of you is talking about?
LUKE: Nope.
RORY: My mother casually dated tonight.
DEAN: Oh, well, congratulations.
LORELAI: Thank you. Thank you very much.
DEAN: So, I was wondering what time your rehearsal was tomorrow?
RORY: Five, why?
DEAN: Well, uh, it's my night off and I thought maybe I'd come by and watch.
RORY: Watch what?
DEAN: Watch you.
RORY: Watch me do what?
DEAN: Rehearse.
RORY: Oh. Um, Dean, I think you'd be really bored watching rehearsal.
LORELAI: Oh yeah, I've dozed off twice just listening to her talk about rehearsal.
DEAN: Well, I won't be bored.
RORY: We don't even know our lines yet. You should just come on Sunday.
LORELAI: That's a good idea. After all, Sunday is the day of rest and that's what you'll be doing - resting, 'cause it's boring.
RORY: Mom.
LORELAI: Well, honey, it's not your fault. You didn't write the damn thing.
DEAN: Well, I'll come on Sunday too.
RORY: Okay. But if you're gonna go on Sunday, you don't want to spoil it for yourself.
DEAN: What? It's not like I don't know how it ends.
RORY: Okay, Dean, look
DEAN: Rory, come on. I'll sit in the back, you'll die, and I'll walk you home. It's no big deal, right?
RORY: Right.
DEAN: Good, so I'll see you tomorrow.
RORY: Yup, you sure will.
DEAN: Bye Lorelai.
LORELAI: Bye Dean. [Dean leaves] Oh yeah, he's fine.
CUT TO CHILTON HALLWAY
[Rory walks up to Tristin and his friends]
RORY: Excuse me Tristin, can I talk to you for a second?
TRISTIN: [to his friends] I'll meet you guys later, okay? [they walk away] I'm all yours.
RORY: I need to talk to you about something serious.
TRISTIN: Serious, huh? I'm intrigued.
RORY: Dean's coming to rehearsal tonight.
TRISTIN: Wow, are you sure they can spare him? I mean, what if there's a run on baked beans?
RORY: Can you just shut up for five seconds, please? Thank you. Look, as I said, Dean is coming to rehearsal tonight, and I'd like to ask you to promise that you won't say anything to him about what happened.
TRISTIN: What happened?
RORY: At the party?
TRISTIN: At the party?
RORY: Tristin! You and me, at Madeline's party? You had just been kicked to the curb by Summer, and I found you sulking on a piano bench, and I sat down, we talked, and then we kissed.
TRISTIN: That was you?
RORY: You know what, forget it.
TRISTIN: Hey, Rory.
RORY: There is no point in talking to you. I knew that, yet I tried. Won't happen again.
TRISTIN: You don't want me to tell Dean that we kissed.
RORY: By George, I think he's got it.
TRISTIN: Okay, if that's what you want.
RORY: It is.
TRISTIN: Although, he's gonna find out anyway.
RORY: What?
TRISTIN: Well, come on, you know that when we kiss on stage, it's gonna be pretty obvious that it's not the first time. I'm a good actor, but I can't hide that kind of passion.
RORY: Look, things are really good for me and Dean right now, and I don't want anything to mess that up. Especially not something that meant nothing at all to me and I wished had never happened in the first place.
TRISTIN: So things are going good for you too, huh?
RORY: Yeah, they are.
TRISTIN: Good, that's good.
RORY: So what do you think? You just took those out.
TRISTIN: Well, I changed my mind.
RORY: Are you all right?
TRISTIN: Yeah, I think somehow I'll recover from the great romance between you and the Beave.
RORY: A lot of stuff's been going on with you lately, huh?
TRISTIN: Meaning?
RORY: Just, you know, the car thing, the suspension thing, a lot of drama.
TRISTIN: Well I get bored easily.
RORY: Just doesn't really seem like you.
TRISTIN: And you know me now?
RORY: I know you don't get suspended for stupid pranks.
TRISTIN: I pulled stuff like that before I knew Duncan and Bowman, all right?
RORY: Well, if you did, you didn't get caught. You're getting caught a lot.
TRISTIN: Your point being?
RORY: Maybe Duncan and Bowman aren't the best people to be hanging out with. They're not as smart as you Tristin, they don't have what you have going for you. They
TRISTIN: You know, I'm gonna have to bail before we get to the whole hugging part. And ask your boyfriend to remind me when it's coupon day, okay?
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Lorelai and Rory sit at the counter.]
LORELAI: Taking pity on your burger?
RORY: Not hungry.
LORELAI: Honey, you've got to eat. You're gonna kill yourself in a couple of hours, you really need your strength.
RORY: Ha ha.
LORELAI: Maybe Dean won't even come tonight.
RORY: Oh, he'll be there. There aren't enough monster truck rallies in the world to keep him away from Miss Patty's tonight.
[Paul and his parents walk into the diner]
LORELAI: All right, that's it. This afternoon we are going to engage in some intensive retail therapy to bring you out of this funk.
RORY: No thanks.
LORELAI: I mean it. Today is the day we finally spring for the Powerpuff girl shotglasses.
RORY: Hmm, I can't. I promised Lane I'd help her pick out an outfit for the play tomorrow.
PAUL: Lorelai?
LORELAI: Yeah?
PAUL: Hey, it is you. This is Lorelai, she's the girl I told you about.
LORELAI: Oh, Paul. I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you with the hat.
PAUL: Yeah.
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
PAUL: Well, um, getting some coffee.
LORELAI: In Stars Hollow?
PAUL: Well, you know, you talked so much about the town the other night and especially Luke's place, so my mom's crazy for coffee, I thought I'd bring 'em up here for breakfast.
RORY: [quietly] The other night?
LORELAI: [quietly] Uh, yes. Paul's my friend from the other night, the uh, casual Wednesday.
RORY: Oh.
LORELAI: Oh, Paul, I want you to meet my daughter Rory.
PAUL: Hi, nice to meet you. Hey, these are my parents, Dorie and Sid.
DORIE: Nice to meet you.
SID: Pleasure, really.
LORELAI: Oh yeah, me too.
LUKE: You ordering?
PAUL: Luke. Are you Luke? Is this Luke?
LORELAI: Yes, that's Luke.
PAUL: Oh man! Mom, Dad, that is Luke.
DORIE: We've heard so much about you.
SID: Darn shame about that Rachel.
LUKE: Who the hell are these people?
LORELAI; Uh, Paul is my friend from business school.
PAUL: Yeah, we went out the other night. And uh, you know, she talked about a few people in this town, and you being one of 'em, so nice to meet you.
LUKE: Yeah.
PAUL: Um, okay, three coffees to go then.
LORELAI: [to Rory] Something funny?
RORY: No.
LORELAI: You're just smiling for no reason?
RORY: I'm a happy person.
PAUL: Hey, I've gotta run. Mom wants to go antiquing, so it was nice meeting you, and uh, I'll see you in class Lorelai.
LORELAI: Bye. Bye now. Bye.
[Paul and his parents leave]
LORELAI: What?
RORY: Nothing.
LORELAI: Say it!
RORY: I've always wanted a little brother.
LORELAI: He looked older the other night!
RORY: How much older could he possibly look?
LORELAI: A lot! He's usually a little scruffy, and then the baseball cap hides the funky hair thing.
RORY: He should've been holding a yo-yo and a lollipop and wearing a beanie with a propeller on it.
LORELAI: He's in his twenties.
RORY: He must have been a very good boy to deserve such a happy day. I bet they let him ride a pony.
LORELAI: Aren't you supposed to go help Lane?
RORY: Thanks for cheering me up.
[Rory leaves as Luke walks over]
LORELAI: What? You wanna say something too?
LUKE: Nope.
LORELAI: Please don't hold back on my account.
LUKE: I wouldn't.
LORELAI: Good.
LUKE: [to kids at the counter] Would you guys mind moving down a couple stools? Make me more comfortable.
LORELAI: This is me leaving.
LUKE: Hey, how do I know what the cutoff is?
LORELAI: And no tip, I wonder why.
LUKE: I mean, at least if you had one of those height bars like at amusement park rides
LORELAI: Bye now.
CUT TO MISS PATTY'S STUDIO
[Tristin and Rory are rehearsing up front, as Paris, Madeline, Louise, Brad, and Dean watch them.]
TRISTIN: Here's to my love. Oh true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Line?
PARIS: Thus with a kiss, I die. How hard is that to remember?
TRISTIN: Thus with a kiss, I die. Right. And then I kiss he, right?
PARIS: Yes. You say 'Thus with a kiss, I die.' Then you kiss her and die. Why are you smiling? You think this is a joke? The performance is tomorrow.
TRISTIN: Wait, tomorrow? Oh my God. I totally missed it the first 47 times you said it.
PARIS: I warned you. I am not going to fail this because of you. I will replace you with Brad in a second.
BRAD: Oh, dear God, no.
RORY: Can we just get through the scene?
MADELINE: Please.
PARIS: Fine. But yell line once more and you're out. Start memorizing.
TRISTIN: Oh true apothecary, thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss, I die.
PARIS: What?
TRISTIN: Well, it's just, with this being our last kiss and all, it makes me think about our first kiss. You know, at the party.
RORY: What?
PARIS: Lie down, you're dead.
LOUISE: We all are.
TRISTIN: You remember the kiss. In Act 1 at the Capulet's masked party?
PARIS: What about it?
TRISTIN: Well, I was just trying to think of something that would make this kiss as special as that one.
RORY: Tristin.
TRISTIN: I thought she could cry.
RORY: What?
PARIS: She's dead. You're dead, lie down.
TRISTIN: Yeah, but that's the beauty of it. No one would expect her to cry.
DEAN: I would.
TRISTIN: You know, funny you should say that
RORY: I need to take five.
PARIS: You know what? Let's all take five. That way you can all cancel whatever plans you had tonight because we are staying here until we get this right.
[Brad pulls out his cell phone]
LOUISE: Who could you possibly be calling?
[Rory walks over to Dean]
DEAN: He is unbelievable.
RORY: Dean, I really need you to leave.
DEAN: What?
RORY: The play is tomorrow, and it's fifty percent of my grade, and you standing there staring at Tristin, it's like a challenge or something.
DEAN: Well, I don't like the way he's messing with you.
RORY: I don't like it either but we have to get through this scene and we can't get through the scene with you standing there. So, Dean, please.
DEAN: Fine. Call me later. [leaves]
TRISTIN: Now I noticed you didn't cry when you kissed him. I'm starting to feel a little insecure.
RORY: What is wrong with you?
TRISTIN: Whoa, I think I liked you better comatose.
RORY: I thought you weren't going to say anything.
TRISTIN: Did I say that?
RORY: You make it impossible for anyone to be nice to you. No wonder you had to join our group. Anyone who's actually suffered through the experience of going out with you would absolutely know better.
TRISTIN: Gee, I really wish we could continue your analysis on how pathetic I am. Unfortunately, I have to meet some friends.
PARIS: Where are you going? Where is he going? We're not finished! Hey, I'm the director here! Tristin!
BRAD: Tristin, come back!
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Lorelai and Sookie sit at a table.]
SOOKIE: Ooh! I'm so excited! Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, it's so romantic. Oh Romeo, blah bah blah and the blah. That's all the Shakespeare I know.
LORELAI: Hey Luke, you should come with us to Chilton and watch Rory perform.
LUKE: Can't.
LORELAI: Come on. How often do you get to see teenagers speak iambic pentameter and kill themselves?
LUKE: No thanks. But you have a good time. Bring plenty of baseball cards to pass out your phone number on.
LORELAI: Ugh, enough already! The horse is dead. His ashes have been sprinkled over the land. Let it rest.
MISS PATTY: Lorelai, there you are you naughty, naughty girl.
LORELAI: Okay, he was not that much younger than I am. I met him a business school, not his Bar Mitzvah. Business school has to indicate some kind of maturity, right?
LUKE: Doogie Howser was a doctor at sixteen.
LORELAI: Doogie Howser was not real.
LUKE: How sad for you. [walks away]
LORELAI: Luke. This is incredible. I go on one stupid date, and suddenly I'm the female Jerry Lee Lewis.
SOOKIE: Oh forget it honey. The town likes to tease. Plus, he did look really young.
LORELAI: You didn't even see him.
SOOKIE: Kirk snapped pictures.
[Lorelai walks up to Luke behind the counter]
LORELAI: Hey, you. What is up with you?
LUKE: Nothing's up with me.
LORELAI: Well we were having a perfectly nasty verbal sparring match and you suddenly walk away.
BOOTSY: Lorelai, I hear you're dating a kid.
LORELAI: Please let something big fall on my head.
BOOTSY: When I was 18, I was dating an older lady. Broke my heart.
LORELAI: Well, Bootsy, I'm sorry you got dumped, but I'm not dating a kid.
BOOTSY: I didn't get dumped, she died. Heart attack. She was quite old.
LORELAI: Hey.
LUKE: I'm working. Us older guys do that.
LORELAI: Why are you being so mean to me?
LUKE: I'm not being mean.
LORELAI: Yes you are. You're being mean.
LUKE: Sookie, am I being mean?
SOOKIE: Well, I wouldn't pay you to put on a red nose and work a birthday party right now.
LUKE: Thank God for that.
LORELAI: Why are you so mad at me?
LUKE: I just think it's embarrassing.
LORELAI: What is so embarrassing?
LUKE: You running around with that kid.
LORELAI: I wasn't running, he's not a kid. We had dinner. You say Chuck E. Cheese, I'll break your nose.
LUKE: Hey, I'm not gonna say anything. You go live your life as you please. I got work to do.
CUT TO CHILTON GRAND HALL
[A group is performing Act 2 of Romeo and Juliet, interpreting it as cavemen. Lorelai, Sookie, Dean, and Lane stand in the audience and watch.]
BOY: Ooh, ooh. He jests at scars that never felt a wound. But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
SOOKIE: Are you sure this is Shakespeare?
DEAN: What's with all the grunting?
LORELAI: I wish Luke was here, he could translate for us.
[Rory walks up to them]
RORY: Hey.
DEAN: Oh hey.
LORELAI: Hi.
SOOKIE: Oh honey, look at you! You look like a princess! Doesn't she look like a princess?
DEAN: Yeah, she looks beautiful.
RORY: Mom made the dress.
LORELAI: Not to mention the girl inside it.
RORY: Hello, gross.
LORELAI: I'm just saying.
RORY: I'm getting kind of nervous.
LANE: Oh, you're gonna be great.
RORY: I think act three is starting up.
LANE: Henry's act. Um, how do I look?
RORY: You might want to hold a phone up to your face so he'll recognize you.
LANE: Okay. [walks away]
[Paris walks up to them]
PARIS: I need you. [drags Rory away]
CUT TO HALLWAY
PARIS: He's not here.
RORY: Who's not here?
PARIS: Tristin. I've looked everywhere. I called his home, his cell, I called three girls I know he's seeing.
RORY: Paris, calm down.
PARIS: Weren't you listening? He's not here. We're on in twenty minutes and we don't have a Romeo. We are going to fail.
RORY: We're not going to fail.
PARIS: Do you think Harvard accepts people who fail Shakespeare? They don't. I don't have the numbers on it or anything, but I feel pretty secure in saying, you fail Shakespeare, you don't get into Harvard.
RORY: Okay, maybe he's just in one of the bathrooms smoking.
PARIS: Good idea. You check the east men's rooms, I'll check the west ones.
CUT TO GRAND HALL
[Lane watches Henry in Act 3, interpreted as businessmen with cell phones]
HENRY: I am hurt. A plague on both your houses! Oh, I am sped. What, is he gone and hath nothing?
CUT TO HALLWAY
PARIS: I knew he was going to do this, but no one wanted to listen to me. It was all, let's make Tristin Romeo, he's hot.
RORY: What about Brad?
PARIS: Brad transferred schools. [Tristin walks up to them] Where have you been? You have to get dressed, we're on in ten minutes.
TRISTIN: Can't.
PARIS: What?
TRISTIN: Actually, my dad had me pulled out of school. He [Paris walks away] and is she unhappy.
RORY: What do you mean he had you pulled out of school? What happened?
TRISTIN: Nothing. Just ticked the old man off, that's all.
RORY: By doing what? Tristin, come on, tell me.
TRISTIN: I got in some trouble.
RORY: Trouble involving?
TRISTIN: Involving Duncan and Bowman, and Bowman's dad's safe.
RORY: Oh no.
TRISTIN: I mean, Bowman had a key. It was supposed to be no big deal. And the crazy silent alarm kicked in.
RORY: You broke into Bowman's dad's safe?
TRISTIN: Yes.
RORY: Stupid.
TRISTIN: Yes.
RORY: Well, okay, you can apologize and you can put back the money and you can explain that, I don't know, you were going through something.
TRISTIN: I was, I was going through his safe.
RORY: Why would you do this?
TRISTIN: I don't know. I guess that's something I can ponder at military school.
RORY: Military school?
TRISTIN: The police are letting our parents handle it, and in my case that means military school in North Carolina.
RORY: I don't know what to say.
TRISTIN: Well, I imagine you're overwhelmed with the relief in knowing that soon I will be gone.
RORY: I'm so sorry.
TRISTIN: Well, I'm a big boy. I can handle it.
RORY: There's nothing you can
[Tristin's dad calls him from down the hall]
MR. Dugray: Tristin, come on.
TRISTIN: I gotta go. So, I might kiss you goodbye but, uh, your boyfriend's watching. Take care of yourself, Mary.
[Tristin leaves. Paris comes back dressed as Romeo]
PARIS: What are you standing there for? Let's go. You better start sucking on an Altoid.
CUT TO GRAND HALL
[The group performs Act 5 with Paris as Romeo]
PARIS: A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavory guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks thy seasick weary bark! Here's to my love! Oh true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.
CUT TO CLASSROOM
[Lorelai and Sookie walk into a classroom to retrieve their coats]
SOOKIE: Wasn't that great? I mean, just watching it made me feel smarter. Don't you feel smarter?
LORELAI: Well, just the opposite actually.
SOOKIE: We should do something else good for us. Go to a museum or play chess.
LORELAI: I promised Rory we'd go to Luke's afterwards.
SOOKIE: Oh, even better.
LORELAI: Although, I gotta tell ya, I am still pretty peeved by how he acted earlier. I swear, that guy runs so hot and cold on me.
SOOKIE: What?
LORELAI: Well, one minute he's all sweet and building me a chuppah, and the next he's being a total jerk for God knows what reason.
SOOKIE: For God knows what reason? Come on Lorelai.
LORELAI: What?
SOOKIE: Don't you understand that Luke is so into you?
LORELAI: Okay, stop.
SOOKIE: He has had to watch you go from one guy to another, and then the engagement, and then the engagement was off, and patiently he's waited. And now in walks this kid and he says, 'My God, will she date anyone else in the world before she'll date me?'
LORELAI: Sookie, that
SOOKIE: Hey, maybe it's crazy, maybe it's irrational, but it's there. Just look the guy in the eye, it's right there.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Lorelai, Rory, Sookie, and Dean walk in]
DEAN: So, did you and Paris actually kiss or was that like a stage thing?
RORY: A lady never kisses and tells.
LORELAI: Hey, you guys get a table. I'll be right there.
[they sit down while Lorelai walks over to Luke at the counter]
LORELAI: Hey.
LUKE: How'd it go?
LORELAI: Oh, you know, I think Shakespeare will recover.
LUKE: That's good.
LORELAI: Hey, are you good at dating?
LUKE: What?
LORELAI: Dating, do you have that down?
LUKE: Okay, if this is about that kid, then
LORELAI: No, it's not about anything, it's just a question.
LUKE: Well, I don't know if I have it down. Considering I live with my nephew, I'd say probably not.
LORELAI: I don't have it down either. I've never been very good at it really. I've never even really liked it. Too much 'what if'. I like things I can count on. I mean, uh, actually, with Max, it was the first time I was finally like 'Hey, here it is, that one person who will always be there for me.' And then, I turned around, and it's suddenly 'Oops, wrong, keep moving.'
LUKE: Why are you telling me this?
LORELAI: I don't have very many people in my life who are in my life permanently forever. They will always be there for me. I will always be there for them, you know? There's Rory, and Sookie, and this town and ... you. I mean, at least I think I've got...
LUKE: You do.
LORELAI: Good. Just checking
LUKE: Tell me about Romeo and Juliet.
LORELAI: Well, it's so depressing because everybody dies, but the clothes were so cute.
LUKE: Life can be funny that way.
LORELAI: And Rory [scene fades out]
|
Plan: A: Lorelai; Q: Who receives a late wedding present? A: a card; Q: What was missing from the wedding present? A: Sookie; Q: Who tells Lorelai to move forward in life? A: life; Q: What does Sookie tell Lorelai to move forward in? A: her advice; Q: What does Sookie give to Lorelai? A: a dinner date; Q: What does Lorelai accept from Paul? A: friends; Q: What do Paul and Lorelai decide to be? A: Luke's the following Saturday; Q: When does Paul show up at Luke's? A: Luke; Q: Who has had a crush on Lorelai forever? A: his parents; Q: Who does Paul bring to Luke's? A: town; Q: What does Lorelai get ribbed by everyone in? A: a very important part; Q: What does Lorelai tell Luke he will always be in her life? A: the death scene; Q: What scene are Rory, Paris, Madeline and Louise assigned to present? A: the Chilton Shakespearean Festival; Q: What is the name of the festival? A: half; Q: What fraction of the grade will the Romeo and Juliet performance account for? A: their suspension; Q: What did Tristan, Duncan, and Bowman return from? A: Rory's wishes; Q: Who is assigned the role of Juliet? A: Miss Patty's studio; Q: Where does Paris rent for the rehearsal? A: Stars Hollow; Q: Where does the group go to practice? A: Dean; Q: Who does Tristan taunt at the market? A: The next day; Q: When does Dean show up to watch rehearsal? A: her words; Q: What stung Tristan? A: his father; Q: Who pulled Tristan out of Chilton? A: boarding school; Q: Where is Tristan being sent? A: his costume; Q: What does Tristan put on to save the day? Summary: Lorelai receives a late wedding present without a card attached, and insists that it be returned. Sookie sees to what great lengths Lorelai is going to find out who sent it, and tells Lorelai to move forward in life to get some closure on her relationship with Max. Lorelai takes her advice and accepts a dinner date with Paul, one of the other students in her business class. The date goes well, but they decide to remain friends because they don't have very much in common. When Paul appears at Luke's the following Saturday with his parents in tow, Lorelai gets ribbed by everyone in town because he's so young. Luke is uncharacteristically quiet, which Lorelai can't figure out until Sookie explains that he's had a crush on Lorelai forever. Lorelai goes to him to let him know that he'll always be a very important part of her life, and Luke brightens up again. Rory, Paris, Madeline and Louise are assigned to present the death scene from "Romeo and Juliet" as part of ther class participation in the Chilton Shakespearean Festival. Since this production will account for half of their grade, Paris takes over as director and assigns Rory the role of Juliet. Tristan returns to school with Duncan and Bowman after their suspension, and is cast as Romeo against Rory's wishes. When a scheduling mixup occurs with the rehearsal hall, Rory is horrified to learn that Paris has rented Miss Patty's studio and that the group will convene in Stars Hollow to practice. Tristan wastes no time in going to the market and taunting Dean, and they nearly come to blows before Rory pulls them apart. The next day at school, Rory pleads with Tristan not to mention anything to Dean about their kiss at the party, because it meant nothing to her. She also cautions him about hanging out with Duncan and Bowman. Stung by her words, but hiding it well, Tristan storms off. The next day Dean shows up to watch rehearsal and Tristan taunts both Dean and Rory before he finally bails to go off with Duncan and Bowman. On the evening of the performance, Paris freaks out because Tristan is nowhere to be found. He finally shows up to tell Rory that his father has pulled him out of Chilton to send him to boarding school, because he was caught with Duncan and Bowman breaking into Bowman's father's safe on a lark. Paris storms off, puts on his costume, and takes over as Romeo, thereby saving the day, the performance, and their grades.
|
Four To Tango #309
(Dawson's Bedroom - Pacey and Jen are making out on Dawson's bed.)
Jen: Nothing.
Pacey: Nothing! Ahh! You?
Jen: Nothing. God, Pacey, this is weird.
Pacey: It really is. It's the damnedest thing. I mean, how are we supposed to have some lurid, purely sexual affair if every time we get together...
Jen: There's no sexual tension.
Pacey: Nada.
Jen: Zilch.
Pacey & Jen: If its me No, it's not you, it's me.
Jen: No, no I mean we're both we're both two highly sexually charged people
Pacey: Absolutely! Look at our track records.
Jen: Oh yeah.
Pacey: We're all that and then some, thank you very much.
Jen: And look at the measures that we've gone through today.
Pacey: We've come properly equipped (pulls a condom out of his pocket)
Jen: And we've picked the perfect locale.
Pacey: Absolutely. You know, Dawson and Mr. Leery both at school for the afternoon, window's always open, this was sheer genius on your part.
Jen: Grams always said that that ladder was an invitation to sin.
(Pacey looks at her and they both attack each other momentarily. They stop.)
Pacey: This is starting to get depressing.
(Beginning to put their shoes on.)
Jen: All right, I'll tell you what, why don't we give it a week, keep trying in hopes that whatever sexual spark once flickered will burn again.
(A door is heard slamming downstairs.)
Pacey: Whoa, did you just hear somebody come into the house?
(Jen looks at him and bolts for the window, grabbing her jacket. Pacey struggles to put his jacket on, when he suddenly dives to the floor for his last shoe. Dawson walks in, as Pacey is grabbing the Playstation controller.
Dawson: Pacey.
Pacey: Hey, man, what's happening?
Dawson: What are you doing in my room in the middle of a school day?
Pacey: Just playing some Crash Bandicoot. What are you doing home?
Dawson: I had a dentist appointment. I came back to get my books.
Pacey: You, uh, have any cavities?
Dawson: No. How how did you get in?
Pacey: Is that clock right on the VCR? Cause if it is, man, I should really be getting to school.
(Pacey goes to leave through Dawson's door.)
Dawson: Aren't you forgetting something?
Pacey: I don't think so.
Dawson: You sure?
Pacey: Pretty sure, yeah.
Dawson: Cause you're only wearing one shoe.
(Pacey looks down, seeing one shoeless foot, and smiles uncomfortable at Dawson. Capeside High - Andie sits at a picnic table outside school when Jack walks up.)
Jack: Hey.
Andie: (referring to the papers in Jack's hand) Oh my God, I hope that is not your report on Manifest Destiny, because mine is only four paragraphs.
Jack: No, no. Remember when Dawson did that story about me joining the football team on the web?
Andie: Yeah.
Jack: These are E-mails from people who saw it.
Andie: (taking some sheets from him) Oh, Jack, this is amazing. I mean look how many people you reached.
Jack: No, look, I didn't exactly reach everybody. Check this out. (reading from one of the sheets) "Dear Homo, Too bad Capeside didn't make it to regionals. Our linebackers are looking forward to playing smear the queer.
Andie: Oh my God, that's so sad. I mean, some poor dumb cheerleader is wasting all of her prime boy-chasing years on that closet case. 'Kay this one looks good. "Dear Jack, Saw the story about you on the web. Have you been deluged with letters addressed 'Dear Homo?' If not, then they'll come soon. That's what happened to me when I took another guy to the prom last year and the story got picked up by the AP wire."
Jack: Who's that from?
Andie: Um, some guy named Ben. Ben Street. "If you ever need to talk to someone who's been there and lived to tell, you can find me in the pink pages under out teens."
Jack: (taking it from her) Give me that.
Andie: Gotcha. You should write him back, he sounds like a nice guy.
Jack: Yeah, I'm gonna write him back. He he's a total stranger. What would I say?
Andie: I don't know. Say anything. It worked for John Cusack. Ok, gotta go. Bye.
(Guidance Counselor's office - Pacey walks in.)
Pacey: All right, whatever it is, I didn't do it. But if I did do it, then I just want you to know I take full and complete responsibility for all of my actions.
Counselor: This isn't a disciplinary matter, Pacey.(offering Pacey a seat) Please. You're here because when Mr. Milo sent your file over to me, you jumped immediately to the top ten of my most in need of guidance list. And when I started talking to your teachers
Pacey: Uh-oh.
Counselor: You're failing math, Pacey.
Pacey: I'm failing?
Counselor: I'm afraid the only other grades you've got going here are four D-pluses and one very lonely C-minus. Want to tell me why that is?
Pacey: Just lazy, I guess.
Counselor: Has there been some trouble at home? Any- any sort of change in your family situation?
Pacey: No, it's nothing like that.
Counselor: Mr. Milo mentioned something about a girlfriend being sick.
Pacey: She's not my girlfriend anymore.
Counselor: I'm sorry to hear that.
Pacey: Yeah, you and me both, but life goes on, doesn't it? Listen, you think I could get out of here? I'm probably missing a filmstrip or something. (Pacey goes to leave.)
Counselor: You seem like a good kid, Pacey. Whatever's eating at you these days, don't let it win, okay?
Pacey: Maybe it already has.
(Computer Lab - Andie and Jack are working next to each other.)
Andie: Ok, 40,000 hits? I must be doing something wrong.
Jack: (looking at her screen) Oh, well you can't do a search on such a broad topic like democracy. You have to decide what you want, what you don't want, and then, you know, establish some restrictions.
Andie: Okay. Oh, so it would be like, if I were searching for, say, a boyfriend, then I'd want to meet a lot of people and get to know them and eliminate the incompatible ones.
Jack: You know, you really should have your own web site, www.annoyingsister.com.
Andie: Hahaha, Jack. Ok, I really think that you should write this guy Ben back. I mean, he seems super nice and he only lives two towns over. I mean, you guys could end up being friends or..
Jack: Or what?
Andie: Or whatever.
Jack: Please.
Andie: What? You worried that he has a boyfriend? Let me assure you, a lot can happen between May and November. I mean, prom guy could be completely out of the picture by now.
Jack: Andie, stop it.
Andie: Jack, you have to seize the day! If you don't, I'll do it for you. (Andie notices Jack isn't paying attention. He's staring at his screen where someone has instant messaged him.) Jack? What? Someone just instant messaged you. Just hit oh my God, it's Ben Street! It's him! It's him!
Jack: Yeah, yeah I know. What do I do here? How do I make this thing go away?
Andie: You don't make it go away. He's talking to you, say something!
Jack: Now?
Andie: Yeah, he's waiting.
Jack: Yeah, but it
Andie: Type.
Jack: I I don't know what I'm
Andie: Type! Go on!
Jack: All right. (types 'Hi')
Andie: Ok, well you have to hit send.
(He hits send and the message appears on his screen.)
(School hallway - Joey is walking when Pacey runs up.)
Pacey: Hey, Joey. Joey, how are you doing? My, you are looking absolutely ravishing today. Is that a new uh, hair thing-a-ma-jig you got going there?
Joey: You need my notes from today's class that you missed.
Pacey: You missed me, huh?
Joey: Oh, how could I miss you? It's so much easier to see the board without your big fat head in the way. I need these back by tomorrow morning. (She hands him the paper.)
Pacey: (reading the notes) What's a cosine?
Joey: You don't know what a cosine is? You're never gonna catch up by midterms.
Pacey: You're absolutely right. I'm not. Not unless, of course, you
Joey: Look, I'm not gonna help you, Pacey. I've been busting my butt all semester while you've been ah, who knows what the hell you've been doing lately.
Pacey: I've been busy.
Joey: Busy, right. Pacey, you have a very undemanding part-time job, your only familial obligation is to feed the dog everyday, and your social life is basically a triangle consisting of you, me and Dawson.
Pacey: Ok, listen. Truth be told, I'm failing math right now. Yeah, so if you could find it in your heart to explain all this trig stuff to me, I'll do anything you want.
Joey: Anything?
(Starlight Dance Studio - Joey and Pacey are moving about the other people dancing. They seem kinda clumsy and are barely even touching each other.)
Penny: Slow quick quick. Good footwork, people!
Joey: (Pacey stepping on her toes) Ow!
Pacey: Maybe you should probably tell me what I'm doing here before the other nine suffer the same fate.
Joey: You expect me to believe that you actually have control over those lead feet of yours? (he steps on her foot again.) Ow! Pacey!
Pacey: I'm sorry!
Joey: Look, every year the Starlight school offers a $1,500 scholarship to the high school student who best exemplifies the spirit and grace of ballroom dancing. If you look around, there are about six people who wear their teeth to bed, let alone go to high school with us.
Pacey: Which would make you what? A shoe-in?
Joey: I do have to complete at least one of the two week courses.
Pacey: Why didn't you get Dawson to do this with you? Or Jack for that matter?
Joey: Because they don't owe me like you will after I perform CPR on your math grade.
Pacey: So that's the trade-off.
Joey: Mmm-hmm.
Pacey: One study session for one dance class.
Joey: That's the trade off.
Pacey: (sarcastically) Excellent.
Penny: What did I say about ribcages touching? And refresh my memory, who's leading here?
Pacey: I'm trying, but Janet Reno here doesn't exactly make it easy on a fella, you know what I'm saying?
Joey: Like you even know how, Pacey.
Penny: (to Pacey) You lead.
Pacey: We'll just give it the old college try, shall we?
Joey: Oh, don't get too close. Ow!
(Joey finally stands on Pacey's feet as they dance around. Pacey starts jiggling around.)
Joey: Stop!
(Dawson's Bedroom - As he cleans his books up, he finds Pacey's condom on the ground. The following day, Capeside High - Joey and Pacey are walking into campus.)
Joey: Here, this is your assignment for study hall. I want you to do all the even problems on page 107. And show your work, don't just copy the answers out of the back of the book.
Pacey: You know, if I had known the sadistic pleasure you were gonna take out of tutoring me, I never woulda let you have such free reign.
Joey: Look, we're gonna spend an hour after school doing math and then we're gonna go back to
Pacey: I I know, the Starlight foundation for another afternoon's torture at the hands of Miss Penny Pretty. You do realize how absolutely imperative it is that no one, and I mean no one, find out about our after school activities, because on the sliding scale of embarrassing and decidedly non-butch activities for a teenage male to be involved in, waltzing is right up there with painting your own pottery.
Joey: Pacey, do you really think I'm eager to have this information disseminated to the general public?
Pacey: Perfect, then were in agreeance.
Joey: Exactly.
Pacey: No one is to find out.
Joey: No one.
(Dawson walks up from behind.)
Dawson: Find out what?
Joey: Nothing.
Pacey: No, no we can tell him. It's Dawson, right? (Joey gives Pacey a look) We were we were just discussing the fact that I am really awful at home improvement and decor, right? How are you with a roller?
Dawson: I can hold my own?
Pacey: Fantastic! Cauce the Pacey J. Witter Memorial addition to the Potter family home is in desperate need of painters and plasterers, all union wages.
Dawson: (having a look like that wasn't the secret) Count me in.
Pacey: That's good to hear. All right, so Joey? (He motions her to leave.)
Joey: Yeah.
Pacey: Yeah, okay let's do that. (Pacey and Joey walk away.)
Joey: See ya.
Dawson: Hold on, Pacey. I wanna talk to you for a sec.
Pacey: Yes I, uh can't talk at all right now. I'm really trying to stay off of Mr. Milo's top ten most tardy list. Can I can I get ya after school? Yeah, okay.
(Computer Lab - Jack is "chatting" with Ben Street while Andie sits and watches.)
Andie: Have you asked about prom guy yet?
Jack: All right, they were never really dating, okay? They just did the whole prom thing as a... as a statement.
Andie: Oh, political commitment. I like that, in moderation of course. Well, what else?
Jack: Uh, he's a saxophonist, um, huge Charlie Parker fan, all-conference track.
Andie: Hmm, sounds hot. What's he look like?
Jack: Ah, come on, that's not important.
Andie: Well, yeah but he saw you on the web in your uniform. It's only fair.
Jack: We're just writing here, it's not like we're going on a date.
Andie: Yet.
Librarian: (walking by) You know, I dated a guy from the internet once. Hideous.
Jack: I'm gonna... I'm gonna get that picture, yeah.
Andie: Two. One formal, one casual. No baseball hats, baggy sweaters or other articles of deceiving clothing.
(Screen Play Video - Jen walks in looking for Pacey. When she rings the bell, Dawson walks out.)
Dawson: Jen, hey what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be off campaigning for prom queen?
Jen: Very funny, Dawson. No, actually I'm... I'm working on a project with Pacey. It's a human growth and development thing. Is he here?
Dawson: Um, he isn't in till Tuesday.
Jen: But he told me that he was working today. I must've gotten him confused.
Dawson: That's not too surprising considering what a flake he's been lately. There aren't any especially do-able new faculty members I don't know about, are there?
Jen: Pfft. What?
Dawson: Well the last time Pacey was acting this weird, I ended up with taped outtakes of him and Miss Jacobs performing tree surgery at the ruins.
Jen: What you don't... you don't think that Pacey's older woman fetish has returned with a vengeance, do you?
Dawson: I don't know what to think.
Jen: But you're definitely thinking something.
Dawson: Yeah, I... yesterday I came back to my house in the middle of the day and I found Pacey sprawled out on my bedroom floor.
Jen: Wow. Was he alone?
Dawson: Yeah, he was playing Crash Bandicoot.
Jen: Dawson, I hope that's not one of your clever euphemisms for
Dawson: (laughs) No, it's just a video game.
Jen: Good.
Dawson: But... here's the weird thing, all right? Later that night, I found a condom on my floor, and then when I asked Pacey about it this morning, he and Joey were huddled together like it was some sort of conspiracy.
Jen: Has has has, uh he said anything to you? I mean, have you- have you talked at all with him yet?
Dawson: No, he he took off and he's been dodging me ever since.
Jen: Hmm.
(Classroom - Pacey works while Joey watches.)
Pacey: Can we take a break, please?
Joey: We just took a break. No wonder you're so far behind. I swear, Alexander can sit still longer than you can.
Pacey: You don't understand, okay? It's just that recently, whenever I crack a book to study, it's like I automatically want to be doing something else, anything else. I mean, it seems to me that under the previous regimes in my life, every time I was studying, I was given a reward.
Joey: I offered you Chex mix. (FUNNY! Bahaha!)
Pacey: And I'm not talking about Chex mix. I'm talking about Tamara and I'm talking about Andie. Let's just say that those two ladies, they trained me to acquaint studying with
Joey: With what?
Pacey: s*x. I acquaint studying with s*x, s*x with studying. Now I get studying, but no s*x, you understand? So it's a little hard to get motivated these days.
Joey: So what you're saying is that you're merely the innocent victim in some behavioral psychology experiment gone horribly awry?
Pacey: Yeah.
Joey: And that you're desperately in need of some able-bodied female to help you provoke those preconditioned Pavlovian homework responses?
Pacey: Yes.
Joey: That is the worst pick-up line I have ever heard, Pacey.
Pacey: Thanks, Toots, but I wasn't hittin' on ya. I'll have you know I have my own prospects, thanks.
Joey: (laughs) Like who?
Pacey: For right now, they would prefer to remain anonymous, but let me tell you, they've made it clear to me in no uncertain terms that should the mutual desire occur, that they will be more than willing to take care of all my physical needs, you understand?
Joey: So is this a potential relationship or are we talking a free-trade agreement?
Pacey: All right, listen. If you had the opportunity to be with somebody, no questions asked, no strings attached, no awkward first dates, no waiting by the phone, no any of that. Totally on the surface. 100% casual. What would you do? Would you go for it?
Joey: A totally empty, emotionally unfulfilling sexual experience? That sounds great.
Pacey: You're not listening to me. I'm being serious, but it's kind of a limited-time offer, so I just thought I'd ask you, what do you think?
Joey: Pacey, I think that if you really wanted to be having causal s*x with someone right now, you'd be doing it instead of sitting here having a hypothetical discussion about it. That's what I think.
(Computer Lab - Andie and Jack await the picture download.)
Andie: Oh, come on already.
Jack: Yeah, ok, all right. All right, it's... it's happening.
Andie: Ooh, not bad.
Jack: You're not kidding.
Andie: Jack, did you actually express attraction to a member of the male species?
Jack: What? Oh, come on this is completely empirical. I mean, anyone would be attracted to that... extremely attractive guy.
Andie: And I sense a blush.
Jack: (reads the Instant Message) "So what do you think?" He he wants to know what I think.
Andie: Okay, so you tell him that that you think that he should travel two towns over.
Jack: No, I can't do that.
Andie: You can and you will.
Jack: Andie, come on, this is way, way too fast.
Andie: Okay, so you tell him that you want to meet for coffee. I mean I can go with you, if you want.
Jack: Yeah, that will be a lot of fun.
Andie: Ok, Jack, agree to meet at some very safe, very well-lit public place. I mean, it's not like we haven't done an extensive background check on the guy to know that he's for real.
Jack: Look, I can't, all right? Look at me, I'm shaking.
Andie: Fine, Jack. You're just nervous. Here. (Typing for Jack) Um, the picture was great. What can I say? Want to meet tonight. For coffee?
Both: (reading Ben's reply) I thought you'd never ask.
Andie: Oh!
(Screen Play Video - Dawson and Jen decorate the window display.)
Jen: Dawson, I don't know how the hell you suckered me into helping you with your centennial Hitchcock window display.
Dawson: It needed a woman's touch.
Jen: Oh, I suppose that's where Pacey usually comes in, huh?
Dawson: No, Pacey's usually in the back sleeping while I'm doing this.
Jen: All right. (Looking out the window.) Well, maybe he's rediscovered his work ethic.
Dawson: What do you mean?
Jen: Pacey, 2 o'clock. (Pointing out the window, her and Dawson notice Pacey crossing the street. Suddenly Joey is seen by his side.) Is that Joey? Dawson, do you have one of those little signs that says 'back in 5?'
Dawson: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Starlight Dance Studio - Pacey and Joey are dancing, somewhat having a good time. Dawson and Jen stand in the doorway looking surprised.)
Jen: Ok, so Joey and Pacey are auditioning for Capeside Dinner Theater's version of 'Strictly Ballroom.' Let's get out of here.
Dawson: Right behind you.
Penny: (stopping Jen and Dawson) Excellent! Two more young people eager to learn the sophisticated art of ballroom dancing. And people say kids these days have no appreciation for the finer things in life.
Jen: Actually we're not here to dance.
Dawson: We're looking for some friends.
Penny: Okay, good. Well, while you look, you dance, okay? Attention, everybody! Looks like we have yet another set of delightful young people joining our class. Must be something in the air.
(Pacey and Joey have a "caught" look on their face. After the commercial, the two couples dance next to each other.)
Pacey: And what, pray tell, are you two doing here?
Jen: Just enjoying the fine art of ballroom dancing.
Penny: (to Dawson and Jen.) Didn't I say you two would be naturals? (referring to Pacey and Joey) Much better than these two and they've been here all week. But you used to date, didn't you?
Jen: Uh, not right now, okay?
Penny: I'm right, aren't I? You dated, it didn't work out, but then you got past all your issues and now you actually trust each other, right? See, you can see that in the dancing. You can see that the trust is there. (referring to Pacey and Joey) Now these two, on the other hand, a whole different story. I mean, look at them. Look at their form. Look at the tension in their arms.
Pacey: Okay, is there some sort of problem here?
Penny: Well, what did I say about rib cages touching?
Joey: No, sorry.
Penny: Can we do that?
Pacey: It's just not gonna happen, all right?
Penny: Right, see what I mean? See the hostility, the way they're wary with each other, not to mention the constant bickering and name calling. Now these two clearly are in the early stages of some screwball mating ritual.
Pacey: What?
Joey: Ok, you've got it wrong, Lady.
Penny: Really, I do?
Pacey: Oh, completely.
Joey: Actually, you could not be more wrong.
Penny: There's enough sexual tension here to power a Kiss reunion tour. I can't remember the last time I saw dancing this bad. True.
Dawson: Wait a minute, just because they can't dance you think that they're...
Penny: Well, it's this theory that I've developed based on years of experience. If people dance that badly, then they're usually hot for each other. The dancing doesn't lie. (To the class) All right, people. Let's take it from the top!
(Gram's House - Andie enters Jack's room where he is pacing nervously.)
Andie: Hey, Mrs. Ryan let me in. Is that what you're wearing?
Jack: Good night, Andie.
Andie: No, I just like you better in blue. I mean, you look fine, better than fine, you always look fine, I mean Marky Mark fine...
Jack: Yeah, all right, I sense a pep talk coming on.
Andie: Ok, Jack. Look, I'm your sister and I love you and your romantic future is vitally important to me, because if I wind up an embittered old maid I'm coming to live with you and your boyfriend.
Jack: So you're fairly certain that I'm actually gonna have a boyfriend?
Andie: Sure.
Jack: It hasn't occurred to you that this whole online thing could be a complete disaster?
Andie: Okay, Jack. Worst case scenario, you show up, you meet each other, you hate each other, you drink your mochachinos and you go your separate ways. I mean, that's not gonna happen, Jack. I have a really good feeling about this.
Jack: I'm glad someone does.
Andie: Jack, there's no need to be nervous, I mean, Ben obviously likes you.
Jack: I don't even know Ben. You know, Ben doesn't know me.
Andie: Thus the reason for having coffee.
Jack: Andie, this is different. This is a whole new level of my life that I don't know if I'm ready for. When I walk through that door and I say hello to this guy, my entire life is gonna be different. I'm not just gonna be telling the world that I'm gay. I'm actually gonna be gay.
Andie: Jack, you'll be gay anyway. I mean, if you don't go you'll be gay and without a boyfriend.
Jack: Yeah.
Andie: Ok.
(Starlight Dance Studio - Penny is speaking to the class.)
Penny: Ok, people, we're gonna play a little game. I want you to consider this musical partners instead of musical chairs. (pairing people together to dance) I want you two, you two, you two, you two, you two Thank you, you two. (She pairs Dawson with Pacey.)
Pacey: What? No, I think you must've made some sort of mistake here...
Penny: Come on, children. Play nice. (to the class) Ok, we are going to dance happily, joyously, enthusiastically because we love to dance! Now when you hear the music stop and I yell switch, I want you to stop dancing and reach for the nearest available partner, all right?
(Jen and Joey are paired together also. The scene cuts back and forth between Joey and Jen and Pacey and Dawson.)
Jen: So, when did you and Pacey discover your mutual love of ballroom dancing.
Joey: Obviously just moments before you and Dawson did.
Dawson: I can't get over how weird it was to see you in my room the other day. What's going on?
Pacey: What? Not everybody's got the dazzling array of electronics available to them in their bedroom that you do.
Dawson: And that's the only reason that you were in my house when I wasn't there.
Pacey: No, no, no, there's always the lure of the Leery kitchen which, I have to say, has kind of lost its luster in Mitch's reign of terror.
Dawson: So what was the condom for?
Pacey: What?
Dawson: The condom I found in my room.
Penny: Switch!
Pacey: Excuse me for a second... (he trades partners. Now Pacey is dancing with Jen and Joey with Dawson.)
Pacey: We're dead. He found the condom.
Jen: I know, I've already talked to him about it. I wouldn't worry.
Pacey: Really? You don't think Dawson's gonna mind that we've been mapping out each other's erogenous zones between his sheets?
Jen: The question's mute. He's not on to us.
Pacey: He's not?
Jen: No. Well, at least he's not on to me. He's cast somebody else as the female lead.
Dawson: So when did you discover your love for ballroom dancing?
Joey: I read about some scholarship that they were having.
Dawson: Scholarship?
Joey: And I needed a partner, so...
Dawson: So, why'd you ask Pacey? Why didn't you just ask me?
Joey: Pacey came to me first. He needed help with math, I needed help with this. That's what friends do, Dawson. They help each other.
Dawson: That's all you guys are is friends? (Joey nods)
Penny: And switch!
Pacey: Excuse me, just for a second. I need to talk to you.
(Pacey is now with Joey, Dawson back with Jen.)
Joey: What is wrong with him?
Pacey: Uh, nothing really. It's just, um, Dawson seems to think that we're doing it.
Joey: What?
Pacey: Well, you know, having s*x. Getting to know each other in the biblical sense, uh...
Joey: Pacey, that's impossible. And he would never think that.
Pacey: No, not under normal circumstances, but in this case, I think certain events were perhaps misconstrued...
Joey: What events?
Penny: Switch!
Pacey: Well, I just...
(Dawson pulls Pacey away and the two dance.)
Dawson: Ok, so do you wanna just tell me what's going on?
Pacey: It's not what you think, Dawson, not even close.
Dawson: How do you know what I think?
Pacey: Well because, man, it's written all over your face, ok? Yes, me and Joey have been spending a lot of time together recently because we've been here trying to learn how to ballroom dance and then she's teaching me a little trigonometry. You know what's much more interesting to me is that of all the possible blonde and brunette combinations of women that you and I both know, the first one that popped into your mind is Joey. Now why is that, do you think?
Dawson: Pacey, you're not going to get out of this by attempting to psycho-analyze me.
Pacey: I'm just asking a simple question, Dawson. You and Joey... she's not your girlfriend anymore.
Dawson: You're right, she's not.
Pacey: Right, so then why are we having this conversation? You see where I'm going with this? I mean, you're the same guy who told me a couple weeks ago that the two of you just needed to go your separate ways.
Dawson: Yeah, we do need to go our separate ways. It just never occurred to me
Pacey: That what? That she would actually go her separate way, too? Or perhaps it didn't occur to you that her separate way would include a stopover at me, is that what it is? God, man! This is the way it always is with you! You talk and talk, but you don't listen to yourself. You say you're over her, but you're not. They're just words, they don't mean anything to you.
Dawson: You don't know what you're talking about.
Pacey: Look at that girl, Dawson. (he motions to Joey who is dancing with some older man) Just take a good look. She's a freaking goddess, man. How long did you think it was gonna be before some guy comes along and is interested in her? I mean, really, dude! And when that happens, what are you gonna do?
Dawson: I'm just gonna take it all as it comes.
Pacey: You're gonna take it as it comes. Oh great, well perhaps you should start figuring out right now because the guy that comes along is not gonna be your best friend and he's not gonna ask for your permission. The guy that comes along is gonna take one look at that woman and then just cut right in on ya.
Dawson: What are you hiding, Pacey?
Pacey: What?
Dawson: All this analysis of my love life doesn't change the fact that you haven't answered my original question. Why did I find that condom?
Pacey: (turns away from Dawson) Why do I bother?
Penny: Switch!
(Pacey walks away. Jen follows. Coatroom - Jen and Pacey search the coats for their own.)
Pacey: God, I don't believe that guy!
Jen: Pacey, chill out.
Pacey: Here we are again, though I have to say the story line is starting to stretch the limits of believability.
Jen: Meaning what?
Pacey: Meaning that we're two red-blooded American teenagers who, weeks ago, made the enlightened decisions not to keep our bodies to ourselves and what do we have to show for it? Nothing. Nothing, how is that possible? I mean, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure this out and frankly, I'm just drawing a blank.
Jen: Pacey, it's for about a million different reasons.
Pacey: Really? Do you think you could hit me with a couple so it would make me feel better?
Jen: Ok, how about the fact that our mothers teach us to be embarrassed about s*x... or that we live in a country that thinks violence is cool but gets squeamish whenever two people under legal voting age start using the correct terms for each others body parts. (Pacey puts his arm around Jen and brings his head close to hers.) Pacey, is this your not-so-subtle way of telling me that you're ready for a return to Witch Island?
Pacey: Maybe it was the dancing, or perhaps it's just the romantic setting of this coatroom, but I am definitely getting that witchy feeling.
(Coffee Shop - Jack walks up and sees Ben through the window. He hesitates, then grabs for the door. Starlight Dance Studio - Joey and Dawson are walking into the coat closet.)
Dawson: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of anything, but something really strange is going on here. If Pacey's not sleeping with you, he's definitely sleeping with somebody.
(As they enter the closet they find Pacey and Jen sitting in the corner making out. Joey looks shocked. Dawson chuckles.)
Dawson: Whoa, what do we have here?
(Jen and Pacey quickly stop.)
Pacey: It's... nothing, right?
Jen: Yeah, nothing.
Dawson: Doesn't look like nothing.
Pacey: Believe me, man, we've done exhaustive research in this area. It's nothing.
Jen: Pacey and I are just friends.
Joey: Is that what the kids are calling it these days? You guys are so stupid. You're both gonna get hurt by this.
Pacey: Nobody is gonna get hurt by this.
Jen: We both agreed that neither of us have our emotions in it.
Joey: And you're proud of that fact?
Jen: Joey, we were just messing around.
Joey: Dawson...
Dawson: They lost me at nothing.
Joey: Pacey, this isn't you, I mean, Jen maybe you're trying to prove something to somebody about...
Pacey: What? Hey, slow down, this was as much my decision as it was hers, okay?
Joey: So is that why you named your boat 'True Love?' Because you think it's okay for casual acquaintances or even friends to just, you know, use each other as scratching posts.
Pacey: I knew you weren't gonna understand.
Joey: You know what? I understand. I understand just fine. (She walks out. Dawson just smiles at Pacey and Jen and follows Joey out.)
Jen: I've never in my life seen somebody so worked up over just a kiss.
Pacey: I don't think it was just the kiss.
Jen: What do you mean?
Pacey: I mean that Joey knows about our arrangement.
Jen: How could she possibly know, Pacey?
Pacey: Because I went to her for some hypothetical advice, but when she saw us kissing, I'm pretty sure she figured out that it wasn't so hypothetical.
Jen: You went to Joey for advice about us?
Pacey: Yeah I know, not so smart, huh?
Jen: Smart or not smart, it's just funny you went to her.
Pacey: Well, I wouldn't say that I went to her. I mean, she just kind of happened to be there. We were studying...
Jen: Can I ask you something, Pacey? What is it about her?
Pacey: What?
Jen: She's obviously got something that makes boys in emotional turmoil just flock to her.
Pacey: Come again?
Jen: Come on, Dawson's the same way. Whatever small problem got to him, he went straight to Joey.
Pacey: So who else would you have me talk to? I can't exactly go to Andie with something like this, so I guess I'm supposed to commune with Deputy Doug, then?
Jen: Dawson. Why couldn't you just go to Dawson? Unless, of course, you don't feel comfortable talking to him about your s*x life, considering...
Pacey: Considering what?
Jen: That your current girl Friday used to be his.
Pacey: Ok, now correct me if I'm wrong, but Dawson Leery didn't actually know about you and I until, what, two minutes ago.
Jen: I'm not talking about us.
Pacey: What, Joey? This has nothing to do with Joey!
Jen: Pacey, I saw the way that you overreacted to Dawson. I saw the way that Joey overreacted to us. I know that you're having trouble in math these days, but it doesn't take Einstein to get the sum total of these two overreactions.
Pacey: You're gonna have to explain this one to me because I gotta be missing something here. You're talking about Joey Potter, right? The one who can't walk into the same room with me without gagging, huh? That Joey Potter? There's nothing going on between us.
Jen: No, Pacey. There's nothing between us. No matter what we do, it's not gonna work out between us.
Pacey: No, it's not, is it?
Jen: No. Are you disappointed?
Pacey: Yeah, I'm disappointed. And at the same time...I think I'm also a little relieved.
Jen: Me too. I'm gonna go.
Pacey: Okay.
Jen: See ya, Pacey. (She walks out, but immediately walks back in.) You know what, Pacey? Thanks for nothing. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Gram's Kitchen - Jack enters and finds Andie sitting a the table.)
Jack: What are you still doing here?
Andie: Anxiously awaiting to be regaled with first date stories.
Jack: Well they tell me in order to have first date stories you actually have to have a first date.
Andie: What happened?
Jack: I can't get into this with you. You're just gonna get on me about how I handled it.
Andie: Jack, that's not fair. You're always the one who's scraping me off the concrete. Can't I return the favor?
Jack: I didn't even go in, okay? I panicked. I got there, looked through the window and I saw him sitting there, waiting for me. Then I saw this couple, this girl and this guy, and when I saw them it... when I saw them, at that moment, I didn't wanna be me. I wanted to be them, and I got so upset that I just left. So I guess when it comes right down to it, I'm just not brave enough to walk through the door.
Andie: Jack, you are so brave. I mean, your entire life you have been nothing but brave.
Jack: Not this time. I mean, I keep taking these baby steps, but I'm not getting anywhere, you know? I'm not getting any braver.
Andie: Don't be so hard on yourself. I mean, that's what fear is for. It's- it's life's way of telling us that we're not ready for certain things.
Jack: Aren't you the same girl who spent the past week dragging me kicking and screaming towards my romantic destiny?
Andie: Yeah, but I know when to push and when not to. It's a little something I picked up from annoyingsister.com. Anyway Jack, when it's right, you'll know it. And that's when you'll walk through that door. When you're ready.
(Capeside - Dawson and Joey are walking down the street.)
Dawson: If it makes you feel any better, what happened was inevitable.
Joey: What was?
Dawson: What we just saw. All right, look at it from a storytelling perspective. Pacey's brooding, disillusioned, tough guy persona was destined to collide with Jen's fake sexual bravado. It was inevitable.
Joey: Dawson, you're the ultimate romantic! How could you not be more upset about this?
Dawson: If Jen and Pacey want to mess around in a coatroom, that's their business.
Joey: But Dawson, you don't understand what's going on. They made some sort of casual s*x pact. They're just using each other.
Dawson: Joey, we're all guilty of that. At least they're being up front about it.
Joey: So you buy into this whole raging hormones theory? So you think it's okay for two people who aren't in love to just let their sexual impulses run wild?
Dawson: No, what I'm saying is if Jen and Pacey made some sort of agreement, I don't think they made it because they wanted s*x. I think they wanted comfort.
Joey: I'm sure that's all they were doing in your bed, Dawson. Providing each other with comfort.
Dawson: It's not impossible. It's all you and I ever did. Aw, give 'em a break, Jo. They're just lonely.
Joey: Dawson, being lonely is no excuse to just throw yourself at the first available warm body. I mean, could you sleep with someone that you didn't love?
Dawson: No. And neither could you. But I do understand the impulse.
Joey: What impulse?
Dawson: The impulse to... to put you hand out and want someone there at the end of your reach, to to want someone to be close to, to want to kiss or touch, even if it's wrong.
Joey: That's just it, Dawson. It's wrong. If a kiss is just some purely physical thing, and if there's nothing else behind it, what's the point?
Dawson: The point is that you can't control those feelings, Jo, even if they're wrong, they're there. They're always there. You can understand that, can't you?
Joey: You know, I forgot my coat. I I better go inside and get it.
Dawson: Okay.
Joey: Good night.
Dawson: Good night, Joey.
(Starlight Dance Studio - Joey is walking out with her coat when she notices Pacey sitting at a table. She goes to leave, but then turns back and goes to him.)
Joey: I forgot my coat.
Pacey: Well yeah, you ran out of there in a bit of a hurry, didn't ya? Look, if it makes you feel any better, we never actually slept together. I mean, not even close.
Joey: It's none of my business what you guys did or didn't do. I'm sorry I overreacted.
Pacey: Yeah, you did overreact, didn't you?
Joey: Don't act so smug. I'm not saying you're right, or that I approve of what you guys are doing.
Pacey: Were doing. I'd say the time limit on the limited time offer has probably run out now.
Joey: Oh.
Pacey: So, you got your coat. What made you come in here?
Joey: Dawson. He convinced me to take pity on your poor, misguided, testosterone-impaired self.
Pacey: He did that, did he?
Joey: 'Fraid so.
Pacey: Man, guess I owe him another one, huh?
Joey: You do. Come on, let's go.
Penny: Hey, not so fast, you two. There's a class about to start.
Joey: I think we've done enough dancing for a lifetime.
Pacey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let's not get too hasty here. We've still got a scholarship to work for, right?
Penny: Oh, about that scholarship. Things have been kind of tight here at the Starlight.
Joey: There's no scholarship?
Penny: No, but what I can offer you is 6 months of free dance lessons.
Joey: And what would we do with those?
Penny: The cha-cha, the rumba, the merengue, when you're ready, the tango. It's the dance of love.
Joey: Thanks, but no thanks.
Pacey: Come on, think about this for a second, don't be too hasty. We may have found our calling in this dance studio.
Joey: Give it up, Pacey. You definitely were not that good.
(They leave, laughing. The End.)
|
Plan: A: Dawson almost uncovers Pacey and Jen's secret; Q: What does Dawson almost uncover? A: an unused condom; Q: What did Dawson find on his bedroom floor? A: Crossed wires; Q: What leads Dawson to believe that Joey is having sex with Pacey? A: the truth; Q: What do the friends discover? A: an excessive reaction; Q: What does Joey have after Pacey and Jen's secret is revealed? A: just good friends; Q: What do Pacey and Jen go back to being? A: a local dance school; Q: Where does Joey enroll to win a scholarship? A: another high school; Q: What type of school does Jack try to meet up with a student from? A: Andie; Q: Who soothes Jack when things don't go as planned? Summary: Dawson almost uncovers Pacey and Jen's secret after they get frisky in his bedroom and leave an unused condom on the floor. Crossed wires lead him to believe that Joey is the one apparently having sex with Pacey, but when the friends discover the truth, an excessive reaction from Joey leads to teasing from Pacey. After careful consideration, Pacey and Jen realise that things will never happen for them, and they go back to being just good friends. To win a scholarship for college, Joey enrolls at a local dance school with Pacey as her partner. Meanwhile, Jack attempts to meet up with a gay student from another high school, who saw the story Dawson produced about him. Andie annoys Jack with her relentless encouragement, but ends up soothing him when things don't go as planned.
|
La Cinquième Page
(2x12: The Fifth Page)
Written by CRAIG SWEENY & IRA STEVEN BEHR Directed by SCOTT PETERS
**Previously on The 4400** When Tom first meets Diana.
Ryland: This is where I give you the speech about how you're my best field scientist, and Tom is my best lead investigator, and how together you're gonna make a good team. Tom's home, around the dinner table, after meeting Alana.
Kyle : Let me see if I've got this straight: you two met, fell in love, and spent eight years together in some kind of alternate reality.
Tom: Yeah.
Tom to Alana, as she prepares to take Kyle abroad
Tom: What time is the flight?
Alana: Uh, noon.
Kyle: Say goodbye to Mom for me.
Diana to Tom at the bus terminal
Diana: They arrested a suspect forty minutes ago. Claim he's our guy. In a car garage.
Nina: Roy Keith Marsden. In Tom's office; to Alana on the phone
Tom: Forget about the flight. Bring Kyle home. They just arrested a suspect in the Collier killing. In Shawn's office; to Olivia who is blind
Shawn: It's gonna feel a little weird, but when we're done, you'll be able to see again.
Olivia: When does it start? When do I see again?
Shawn has lost the ability to heal.
Shawn: Just give me one moment, okay? At the Abendson Mental Facility.
Tess: Kevin's a genius, you know. A scene after Kevin attacks Tom when he and Diana take Tess from the facility.
Tom: You're saying that Burkhoff is the father of the 4400 technology. Kevin to Dr. Clayton
Kevin: I can think again, too. In Diana's home; to Maia
Diana: You've got a real fever, young lady. In the NTAC Medical. Diana to Dr. Hudson, referring to Maia's rash
Diana: I've worked at the CDC for seven years, and I never saw anything like it. Lily to Richard in their apartment
Lily: I was changing her. She has these marks on her skin.
Richard: Marks? Bruises?
Lily: No. Like irritations. Like someone had her hooked up to something.
Nina to the rioting male agents
Nina: What did I just tell you? Park shoots her. After the situation ends, to Tom as she is placed in an ambulance
Nina: You're in charge until I'm relieved. Whatever manpower is still up walking, start picking up the pieces.
Tom: I'll handle it. Don't worry about it.
Opening scene: Tom's home. Moving boxes, Tom to Kyle
Tom: Okay. Seriously. My back is about to call it a day. Okay? Just come on.
Kyle: You're not helping.
Tom: Where's this going?
Alana moves to help.
Alana: Right there. Alana is Putting down the box, laughing.
Tom: Please say that was the last box.
Alana: That's it.
Tom is breathless.
Tom: Okay.
Alana: We're officially living in sin.
Tom: Oh, really. Well, I prefer to call it: "resuming our eight-year marriage."
He kisses her.
Kyle: Call it whatever you want, just don't kiss in front of me again, okay? That's disgusting. He breaks into a smile.
Alana: Oh, your father thinks this is so romantic, but what he doesn't know is the reason I'm moving in is to take down his tacky golf stuff.
Tom: What? And replace it with what? Oh, oh! Paint splatters? Maybe a picture of a triangle that sells for three grand?
Kyle: Kids!
Alana: It's art.
Kyle: Kids! Work out these decorating issues amongst yourselves. But I'm dead serious about this kissing rule, okay? It's non-negotiable.
Tom kisses her, and they both laugh.
Alana: Oh, Kyle, my allergies are bothering me again. Could you write me another prescription before you go?
Tom: Uh, Alana. Kyle's only a doctor in the world you created for me, remember?
Alana double-takes.
Alana: I'm sorry. Ah! I had a brain freeze. She laughs it off.
Alana: Right. She leaves.
Scene change: hospital room. Diana tries to decipher Maia's medical writeup.
Hudson: Trying to decipher my handwriting?
Diana: I was just on the verge of giving up, actually.
Hudson: Good. Bad penmanship is the best way for a doctor to keep his mystique.
He takes the paperwork from Diana.
Diana: There's a page missing in there. It goes from page four to page six.
Hudson: Sorry. I'm breaking in a new nurse.
Diana murmurs.
Dr Hudson: So, listen. I think we finally know what's wrong with your daughter. Maia's suffering from a type of pneumonia called pneumocystis jiroveci; it's "PJP" for short.
Diana: I've never heard of it.
Hudson: It's rare, but we can treat it.
Diana is relieved.
Diana: Well, thank God!
Hudson: But this kind of pneumonia could be a symptom for something more serious. Now, we've tested her for every virus: all negative.
Diana: So, where is it coming from?
Hudson: We don't know, but we're running more tests. We'll figure it out.
Scene change: 4400 Center. Shawn to Lily
Shawn: It's not that big of a deal. You know. I've just-I've been working real hard lately. I think I got the flue or something. Everybody gets that, right?
Lily: Sure. It's just-Shawn-you can't heal.
Shawn: For now.
Lily: I think you should get it checked out.
Shawn: If I can't kick it in a day or two, I will. But-uh-until then, can you reschedule all my foundation appointments? Tell them that it's temporary.
Lily murmurs.
Shawn: Make sure they know that. As she starts to leave
Shawn: Lily, don't tell anyone I can't heal.
Lily: Sure. She starts to leave.
Shawn: Thank you. Pause.
Shawn: Lily, I mean it. Nobody. After she exits, he rises.
Shawn: Oh, God! He examines himself in a mirror. He is covered with the rash.
Shawn: Ah!
Scene change: San Antonio, Texas. Rose Woodard [disappeared December 1, 1991] examines her arm with the same rash.
Utica, New York: Matthew Lombard, a homeless man [disappeared May 30, 1977], coughs as he sits on a street.
Frankfurt, Germany: Werner Loecher [disappeared April 19, 1973] is wheeled into an ambulance.
Scene change: NTAC. looking at a screen in the operations room showing a depiction of hundreds of people becoming sick.
Tom: How many are sick?
Marco: Three hundred-that we know of. Medical says more calls keep coming in.
Tom: So, what is it?
Diana: Well, it's some kind of immune system disorder, and it's leaving the 4400 vulnerable to all kinds of diseases.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene change: NTAC helipad. Agent to a female agent
Agent: His plane landed at Seatac on schedule. Chopper should be here any minute. He takes a folder from her; he looks at a Styrofoam cup.
Agent: What's that?
Woman: They told me he likes green tea.
In the operations room.
Tom: Is it contagious?
Diana: We don't know.
Marco: Were they infected while they were gone? Maybe they brought this back with them.
Diana: Well, maybe, we just don't know.
Agent to Ryland
Agent: The situation is fluid. Agent hands Ryland a folder.
Agent: But here's a summary of what we know so far.
Woman: Uh, sir?
She hands Ryland the green tea.
Woman: They told me you'd want this.
Diana: The numbers just keep getting bigger.
Marco: So, we're recovering from an attack on this building, the Division commander's still in the hospital, what are we supposed to do?
Ryland addressing the room
Ryland: We take to the field.
Garrity: Ryland? Where did he come from?
Ryland: We're gonna have every 4400 in this jurisdiction tested for this sickness by day's end.
Tom: Dennis! Is it good to see you!
Ryland shaking his hand.
Ryland: Tom. Diana.
Diana: What brings you to Seattle, Ryland?
Ryland: I'm assuming temporary command of this division. My orders are to do something about the spread of this epidemic. I'm gonna figure out a way to do just that.
In Nina's office, referring to Nina's nameplate.
Tom: You might want to move that, unless you want people calling you "Nina." Tom picks up the nameplate. Ryland chuckles.
Ryland: How's Jarvis doing?
Tom: They set her collarbone. Doctors said she should be back in two weeks.
Ryland: My guess: she makes it in one.
Tom sitting down.
Tom: Yeah. So, how's DC?
Ryland: Oh, it's a lot of networking. Lots of dinner parties. Patty loves it.
Tom: And you?
Ryland: Well, the Pacific Northwest is the flashpoint. I kind of feel like I was promoted out of the game.
Tom: A lot of guys here would trade places with you.
Ryland: I wouldn't blame them. A woman releases plague into the air; a terrorist attack on the building: some people I work for think you're in the middle of a war.
Tom: I'm sure it looks that way on paper.
Ryland: Well, don't get defensive. I'm still preaching the gospel of Highland Beach. I still believe the 4400 came back here to change things for the better.
Tom: Yeah. And the people you work for?
Ryland: Don't worry about them. One day, this'll be over. We'll go out for a beer. We'll kick back. We'll trade war stories.
Tom: Yeah.
Scene change: 4400 Center; Daycare Facility. Ruth to Richard and Lily, referring to Isabelle
Ruth: She was a little cranky this morning. I think she's cutting another tooth.
Lily: They come in fast, huh.
Ruth: She's at that age.
Lily: Bye-bye, Sweetie.
Ruth: We'll see you tomorrow.
Richard: Thank you, Ruth.
Ruth leaves. Lily checks Isabelle for a rash.
Richard: Lily, what are you doing? I thought we agreed nobody was doing science experiments on our baby.
Lily: Just making sure.
Scene change: in Shawn's office. Matthew entering.
Matthew: Shawn, we need to rearrange your healing schedule. There's something going on: some sort of illness spreading among the 4400. Shawn feeling and looking very ill.
Shawn: I know all about it.
Scene change: at home, Kyle reads about Marsden's home being vandalized in the paper. He visits the home. Alison exits and sees the flat tires on her car. Alison to Kyle
Alison: You. Did you do this?
Kyle: No, no. It wasn't me.
Alison: Then what are you doing here?
Kyle: I read about this place in the paper. I just-I was curious.
Alison: Yeah, well be curious somewhere else, because people still live here, okay?
She kneels down next to her car.
Kyle: Need some help?
Alison: What, are you a mechanic now?
Kyle: Well, I can change a tire.
|
Plan: A: Dennis Ryland; Q: Who oversees Tom and Diana's investigation? A: a deadly epidemic; Q: What is the epidemic affecting the 4400? A: Isabelle; Q: Who is examined without Lily's consent? A: Alana; Q: Who begins confusing reality with the fantasy she shared with Tom? A: an ailing Shawn; Q: Who abdicates control of the 4400 Center? Summary: In Nina's absence, Dennis Ryland oversees Tom and Diana's investigation of a deadly epidemic affecting the 4400. Meanwhile, Isabelle is examined without Lily's consent; Alana begins confusing reality with the fantasy she shared with Tom; and an ailing Shawn abdicates control of the 4400 Center.
|
The Gunfighters By Donald Cotton
5:50pm - 6:15pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: EXT. "OK CORRAL"
(A dusty street in a town in the Wild West. Wooden buildings line the street and at one end is a fenced-off area with a sign over the entrance reading "TOMBSTONE
- O.K. CORRAL".)
BALLAD: So fill up your glasses, And join in the song...
BALLAD: The Law's right behind you, And it won't take long. So come, you coyotes...
DONALD COTTON
BALLAD: And howl at the moon,
Till there's blood upon the sawdust, In "The Last Chance" Saloon.
(Three cowboys - the CLANTON brothers - gallop down the street and stop at the Corral. The youngest of them - BILLY - pulls out his gun and impetuously fires four shots at the sign. The oldest of the trio - IKA - yells at him...)
IKE CLANTON: Now why for did you do a fool thing like that?! Save your bullets for Holliday, boy.
BILLY CLANTON: I ain't scared of Holliday!
(They move their horses over to the fence of the stockade.)
PHINEAS CLANTON: Hear that, Ike? Brother Billy ain't scared.
(IKE is off his horse and tying it up. BILLY and the third brother - PHINEAS - also climb down and start to tie up their steeds next to IKE'S.)
IKE CLANTON: Nobody says you was scared, boy. Our brother Reuben, now he wasn't scared of him, but that didn't stop Holliday fillin' him full of holes!
PHINEAS CLANTON: Where do we all meet up with Seth?
IKE CLANTON: "The Last Chance" Saloon.
BILLY CLANTON: What for do we need Seth Harper?
PHINEAS CLANTON: Oh! Pa's paying him, and Pa wants us to work along with him.
IKE CLANTON: Come on!
(They finish tying up their horses and stride on into town.)
BALLAD: On your way then you Cowboys,
The time will be soon, When there's blood upon the sawdust In the Last Chance Saloon!
(All around is a small collection of primitive 19th century wooden dwellings built around the dusty road of Main Street. Not far away from where the Clantons left their horses, in a section of stables Marked "LIVERY AND FEED STORE" a curious strangled screeching of twisting dimensions echoes around.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2, INT: FEED STORE
(All around the rough timber barn sit ropes and wheels, barrels and sacks of grain. The dirt floor is lined with straw and all around is the balmy smell of warm pine and earth. Somewhere a horse whinnies. The door to a tall blue Police Box standing in a corner opens and an old man walks out holding a handkerchief to his mouth as if he were in pain. He walks over to the door and peers out, then sits down on a small barrel. A young man in a jaunty multicoloured striped top is the next out, followed by a small dark-haired girl in a short dress and top decorated with circles. Upon her head is a groovy puffed-up sixties-style cloth cap.)
STEVEN: Oh what's the matter Doctor?
DOCTOR: Oh, I've got the most ghastly toothache, it's paralysing pain! Hunh!
STEVEN: Ah, it serves you right for eating that sweet!
DOCTOR: Uhhh!
STEVEN: Well aren't there any painkillers on the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: Uhhh!
DODO: If there's anything I can get you?
DOCTOR: Oh my dear thank you, no I shall have to have it out. We've got to find a dentist.
STEVEN: Hmph, well where are we?
DOCTOR: Oh...ooh!
STEVEN: Ah it must be in the past sometime.
DOCTOR: Yes, you're very observant dear boy, but where, mm?
STEVEN: How would I know?
DODO: I know.
STEVEN: Oh where?
DOCTOR: Well use your eyes dear boy! Good heavens!
STEVEN: Oh!
(He moves to the door of the barn and looks out, he notices a sign right away describing the town as "TOMBSTONE O.K. CORRAL".)
STEVEN: Tombstone! The O.K... Well that sounds like...
DODO: The wild-West!
(Dodo takes Steven by the arms and dances around with him delightedly.)
STEVEN: Well it can't be can it?
DOCTOR: Oh why not? Hmph-hmph, fat chance I've got of finding a dentist in the middle West part of...
DODO: Hehe... Ye-hoo!
DOCTOR: Oh please, must you?!
STEVEN: Look, I've always wanted to be a Cowboy; See what life was like in the wild-West!
(He runs into the TARDIS to find some suitable clothes.)
DODO: Hey, they had Cowgirls too didn't they?
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, yeah...
DODO: Yeeah-hoo!
(Dodo follows Steven into the TARDIS.)
DOCTOR: What about MY TOOTH?! Mm-Hm-hmph!
[SCENE_BREAK]
3, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
(A mean looking man leans, gun in hand against the bar knocking back shots of sippin' liquor. To one side Charlie the barman bottle in hand mops the tables, before returning behind the bar.)
BALLAD: It's your last chance of cussing
At a gunfighter's doom, It's your last chance of nothin' At the Last Chance Saloon!
(Seth Harper looks over from the bar as three figures stride through the saloon doors.)
HARPER: You took your sweet time gettin' here Clanton. Well, Doc Holliday got here before noon!
IKE: Rode out as soon as ever I got your wire, anyways Holliday'll keep for a drink or three I'd say.
BILLY: Sure enough Will! Barman! A bottle and three more Glasses.
(He thumps the bar.)
BILLY: Fast!
IKE: Er, you boys know this guy?
PHINEAS: Yeah, snake-eyes Harper.
HARPER: I don't like being called snake-eyes, last fellow called me that got himself an extra hole in the head!
IKE: Sure Seth, sure. we're friends ain't we? Ain't we in this together?
HARPER: Well I'm in it. You're all together on the outside lookin' in.
PHINEAS: Now that ain't so! We're backing you! You make your play and we gun 'im down - easy as skinnin' summer fries!
(They all laugh.)
BILLY: Yeah, that's it! Haha!
(Over at the bar Charlie looks worried.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4, INT: FEED STORE
(Steven waltzes out of the TARDIS door looking like an idiot in a silky white gunslinger's outfit and hat, he gets a little way and then trips over his spurs and almost ends up flat on his face. Dodo follows him in a white blouse and a sheepskin skirt and waistcoat. On her head is an unmatching black hat.)
DODO: How do we look?
DOCTOR: Oh good gracious! It's absolutely absurd!
DODO: Oh!
DOCTOR: Why you have to dress yourselves up like Tom-Micks I can't imagine! You're asking for trouble. Why can't you wear inconspicuous clothes like I do, mm?
DODO: Oh what about me? don't you like it?
(The Doctor looks at Dodo.)
DOCTOR: Oh that hat is certainly wrong with it.
DODO: Oh it's not supposed to be... That's for you!
(She takes off her hat and places it upon the Doctor's head.)
DOCTOR: Oh... For me my dear child? Oh, that's very thoughtful of you, thank you. Yes, at least it'll keep the rain off, mm-mm. Oh yes it's most suitable...
(His hand shoots to the side of his mouth and he dabs it tenderly with his handkerchief again.)
DOCTOR: Oooh!
(Steven whispers to Dodo.)
STEVEN: Buffalo Bill to the line.
(Dodo laughs.)
DOCTOR: What was that?
(Steven begins to talk in an absurdly false "Dill-the-pill goes cowboy" accent.)
STEVEN: Nothin' pardner!
(He walks over to the Doctor.)
STEVEN: I was just a-practising mah quick-draw!
(Steven attempts to take out his gun in a hurry, but ends up dropping it on the floor causing Dodo to laugh again. Steven retrieves and holsters his gun.)
DOCTOR: Oh! Oh do be careful dear boy! And remember that belongs to my favourite collection!
STEVEN: Naah see here stranger, I reckon you don't know who I is! Deadeye Steve.
(He pulls out the gun and the Doctor moans again.)
STEVEN: The fastest, meanest gun in the West!
(He tries to spin the toy gun, but gets it caught in his fingers. Dodo gazes adoringly.)
DODO: I think you're smashing!
(There is the sound of a shot and the gun flies out of Steven's hand causing the Doctor to jump up in annoyance.)
DOCTOR: Oh what on Earth are you..?!
(He sees a large, gruff-looking man with a large curled handlebar moustache wearing a wide brimmed hat standing in the doorway of the barn. Upon his chest is a gold star and in his hand is a very real gun.)
DOCTOR: And who might you be sir, mm?!
WYATT: You wanna find out, try movin' fast! Now get over!
(He motions with the gun and the party moves together.)
DOCTOR: I-I don't know who you are or what right you have...
WYATT: Marshall of Tombstone's my right and Wyatt Earp's my name.
(Dodo looks like she is about to either ask for an autograph or faint.)
DODO: Oh Wyatt Earp!
WYATT: Oh, something wrong ma'am?!
DODO: Oh no, it's just that... Well I always wanted to meet you and here we are face to face!
(Wyatt regards her curiously.)
WYATT: Well, the Lord sure do move in mysterious ways ma'am. Now maybe you'll all just come along to Sheriff's office?!
STEVEN: Hah-ha what on Earth for?
WYATT: So as that you can identify yourself in decent law abiding manner!
STEVEN: Aha no, you see I'm er... I'm not really a gunman, I was just...
WYATT: Haha! You did kinda make that look obvious didn't ya, boy?! That's why I'm doin' you a favour taking you on in.
STEVEN: Why?
WYATT: Kinda, the Clantons're in town. And boy, that's mighty unhealthy for a stranger that calls himself the fastest gun in town!
DOCTOR: Huh!
WYATT: Now pick up yer...pea shooter and let's get movin'!
(Steven picks up his gun and they all walk out of the barn.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
5, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
(Billy is slouching with his back to the bar with, behind which a large sign bears the legend: "NO SHOOTING IN THE SALOON". Ike, Phineas and Seth are playing cards at a table. The glamorous "big-nose" Kate Fisher walks through the door and swishes past Billy drawing his attention.)
IKE: It just ain't possible, against the four of us? He won't know what hit 'im. Eh Billy? Billy!
BILLY: Yeah, yeah it'd be a real shame, I'd like for him to know. I'd like him to know us for Reuben's brothers
HARPER: Look, you don't know Holliday. You want him ta come lookin' for us, And you ain't even seen 'im? You're crazy!
PHINEAS: Well where's he at now?
HARPER: Well how should I know where he's at? I-I just know he pulled in here this mornin'.
PHINEAS: Well let's get this straight, you mean you don't know where Holliday... You-you you n-never met Holliday either?
HARPER: Look, I don't have to meet 'im, I've seen pictures I've had him described to me! Dapper little fellow with a black buck's back coat...gambler's fancy vest.
BILLY: So fine, so we'll know him when we find him!
(He drunkenly knocks back another drink.)
BILLY: So how do we find 'im?
HARPER: Er, we don't have to find him. Ain't you heard o' Holliday's gamblin' n'drinkin'? Now where's the one place in town he's liable to get both?
IKE: Right here! Hehehe!
HARPER: Yeah. So we just sit here and wait for him 'n that's all we gotta do!
(Kate finishes her drink and slams the glass down on the counter, she has heard enough.)
KATE: Hey Charlie! I'll be right back.
CHARLIE: Why, you goin'?
KATE: I just thought me of an errand I forgot.
CHARLIE: Well y-y-you better be right back, if you aim to keep on workin' here!
(Kate give Charlie a sidelong look.)
KATE: Why of course Charlie!
(She turns, hoists her skirts and heads out of the saloon doors.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6, EXT: MAIN STREET
(Kate walks away from the bar, and gets distracted for a moment by a poster of Johnny Ringo on a shop with the word "REWARD" stencilled in large friendly letters. She turns from the poster and walks down the street again passing two men who turn to look at her as she walks away.)
BALLAD: With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes The girls come to Tombstone In their high silk-hoes.
They'll dance on the tables
Or sing you a tune, For whatever's in your wallet At the Last Chance Saloon!
[SCENE_BREAK]
7, INT: DENTIST'S SHOP
(Some hired hands are unpacking items from a cart and moving them into a vacant shop. Two of them move a large adjustable dentist's chair and walk across the floor of the shop with it. "Doc" Holliday, a gangly little man with a thin face and a grey moustache rushes over to them.)
HOLLIDAY: Now you move that real easy, real easy. That's my operatin' chair. You treat her like she was your Monday bride!
(He walks out to the street to talk to Kate.)
HOLLIDAY: Why Miss Kate, how are ya?
KATE: Doc Holliday I gotta talk to you!
HOLLIDAY: Mm?
KATE: I thought you'd told me that you'd given up gunplay like you'd promised?
HOLLIDAY: Why so I have Kate; and so I'd been meaning to. I got myself a dentist's shop regular and permanent here on Main Street and I am movin' in! Hehehe!
(He walks back into his shop.)
KATE: Well you better just move right out again!
(He moves off to check his equipment not really listening to Kate's tirade, but making all the right noises.)
HOLLIDAY: ...Ehah.
KATE: 'Cause four men are waitin' for you at the Last Chance this very moment.
HOLLIDAY: Yeah...
KATE: I'm plum worn out worryin' about you, Doc! All I want is to live peaceful.
HOLLIDAY: Hey...so do I Kate. Who are these men anyway?
KATE: Well there's a guy called Seth Harper.
HOLLIDAY: Ah yeh...
(He walks out into the street to supervise more unpacking and Kate follows.)
KATE: Then there's, there's three brothers by the name of, er, Clanton.
(Holliday freezes, then walks moodily back into the shop again.)
HOLLIDAY: Clanton?! ...Ya kill a guy out of sheer professional ethics, and then you've got three of his brothers chasin' after you to leave at once. That makes me real angry!
KATE: You're through with being angry Doc, all you're gonna do is get outta town!
HOLLIDAY: Oh that don't appeal Kate, that don't come at all natural!
KATE: But Doc, it ain't safe for ya here in Tombstone!
HOLLIDAY: The day I can't walk down Main Street o' any city in the West on account it ain't safe then I'll be dead! I'll be dead!
(He leaves and Kate walks out into the street after him.)
KATE: Doc...Doc Holliday!
[SCENE_BREAK]
8, EXT: MAIN STREET
(Holliday stops walking away and turns to face Kate.)
HOLLIDAY: Kate Fisher, are you gonna be my lady wife?
KATE: Of course I am Doc!
HOLLIDAY: Hahaha!
MASTERSON: Holliday!
(A stocky man with a dark downturned moustache faces Holliday suspiciously with his hands on his hips.)
HOLLIDAY: Why good afternoon Mr Masterson! Good afternoon Sheriff, hahaha! I reckon you must be come ta meet the stage crew.
MASTERSON: Never mind what I'm doing Holliday. Just you stay out of trouble that's all, I won't be givin' you no second warnin'!
HOLLIDAY: Why it's like I was sayin' to ya Sheriff, I aim to be a respectable citizen now! And you know I always run a clean game!
MASTERSON: Here on in, you ain't runnin' no game at all. Stay out of saloons Holliday and stay away from the poker table.
HOLLIDAY: Then I bid you good afternoon Sheriff; and I hope I shall be having the pleasure of attending you shortly in my dental saloon! Are you accompanying me Miss, er, Kathleen?
(Masterson watches them go, idly rubbing his lower mandible in thought. From across the way Earp, the Doctor, Steven and Dodo walk across a wooden veranda and step down to the dirt road of Main Street as somewhere in the distance a bell rings.)
MASTERSON: So you finally got back then!
WYATT: Howdy Bat, everythin' quiet in town?
MASTERSON: Everythin' 'cept that rattlesnake friend of yours Holliday blew in this mornin'. Who're your friends Wyatt?
(Earp looks at the travellers.)
WYATT: Well I, er-er...
DOCTOR: Oh ah-ah...quite, quite so. Allow me sir to introduce er, Miss Dodo Dupont wizard of the ivory keys, and ah Steven Regret, tenor. And lastly sir, your humble servant Doctor... Calligari. Mm..hmph-hm!
MASTERSON: Doctor who?
DOCTOR: Yes er, quite right. I've just been satisfying the Sheriff here that we are a humble troupe of travelling players. Unfortunately sir, at the moment between engagements.
MASTERSON: Well if I was you I'd keep a-travellin'. There ain't no theatre in Tombstone.
DOCTOR: Oh, is that so? Oh well, that's no matter, no. You see my prime purpose for visiting your city sir, was to avail myself the services of a dentist.
WYATT: A dentist?
DOCTOR: Yeah...hah.
WYATT: Well then, Doc Holliday's yer man!
(He glances at Masterson.)
WYATT: Where is the Doc back?
MASTERSON: Opened hisself a surgery right along the Street.
(He points.)
MASTERSON: Walk thatta way, friend. You can't miss it.
DOCTOR: Oh I'm vastly obliged to you Sheriff! Hehe! Come, fellow thespians!
(The Doctor ushers Steven and Dodo away and turns back to Earp for a moment.)
DOCTOR: No doubt I shall be very glad to see you, meet you later on Mr-Mr Werp. Ehn.
(Earp turns and he and Masterson exchange concerned glances.)
WYATT: I'll bet with the Clantons and Holliday in town you'n me's headed for a load of trouble boy!
MASTERSON: I reckon so!
(They turn and walk up the street.)
BALLAD: On your way then you lawmen,
The time will be soon, When there's blood upon the sawdust In the Last Chance Saloon!
[SCENE_BREAK]
9, EXT: MAIN STREET (Later.)
(The Doctor, Steven and Dodo walk along a wooden veranda and down into the street.)
STEVEN: Look I don't know why you wanted to say it in the first place! Steven Regret? I mean, what kind of a name is that for a singer anyway?!
DOCTOR: Oh my dear young man, can't you sing a little, Hm?
STEVEN: Oh yes a little, but why say it at all?
DOCTOR: Well I had to find some sort of suitable cover; after all, you can't walk into the middle of a Western town and say that you've come from outer space! Good gracious me...we'd all be arrested on a vagrancy charge!
STEVEN: And what about our little wizard of the keys?
DOCTOR: Oh!
STEVEN: Miss Dupont, can you play?
DODO: I'll have a bash!
STEVEN: Hah.
DOCTOR: There will be no necessity to "have a bash", because tomorrow morning we're going to leave Tomb-Tombstone; and we should be back in the TARDIS, in for lunch!
(He looks up and sees a large wooden tooth suspended from a metal bracket bolted to the side of Holliday's dentist shop.)
DOCTOR: You know, I don't think that that is a very subtle form of advertising, d'you? Hm-hm!
(The Doctor stops and touches then side of his face hopefully.)
DOCTOR: ...Yes, come to think of it my dear...you know; I think my...er, my toothache's better! Yes, I do think it's going to be alright! Heh!
(He tries to leave, but Steven blocks his escape.)
STEVEN: Come on Doctor...
DOCTOR: Mm?
STEVEN: Straight into the surgery!
DOCTOR: Oh!
STEVEN: I'll go to the hotel and book the rooms.
DODO: Please Doctor, you'll feel so much better afterwards!
DOCTOR: Oh, I only wish I shared your confidence my dear! However, I suppose I'll er...I'll meet you both back in the hotel lounge.
(He presses his jaw.)
DOCTOR: Oh! There it goes again!
(Dodo laughs as the Doctor departs, and she joins Steven.)
STEVEN: The hotel lounge? Where does he think we are?
(Dodo laughs again.)
STEVEN: What's so funny?
DODO: I was just thinking, I hope he's not expecting an injection!
(Arm in arm they stroll off towards the Last Chance Saloon giggling to themselves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10, INT: DENTIST'S SHOP
(The Doctor walks through the door and looks around the empty shop. He passes the chair and moves over to the side and examines the equipment. Walking past that, he moves to a door behind which the low sound of conversation can be heard. The Doctor gently pushes one the door and walks in. On a table is a half empty bottle and two glasses, and on Holliday is Kate engaged in a passionate embrace.)
HOLLIDAY: Mmmmm.
KATE: I Gotta get me that...
(He kisses her repeatedly.)
HOLLIDAY: Tulip!
(As the Doctor makes his presence known, Kate jumps off the Doc and he jumps up glaring coldly, his gun in his hand as if by magic.)
DOCTOR: I er-er, forgive me sir, I er, I should have knocked! Hm-hm-hm!
(Holliday doesn't take his eyes of the Doctor and doesn't lower his gun.)
HOLLIDAY: What's your business?
(The Doctor stands very still, his hat in his hand and blusters.)
DOCTOR: Yes well...er the fact is that I er, I er have a... Toothache.
(Holliday and Kate look at each other for a second of stern silence then collapse in a fit of giggles.)
KATE: Ha-ha! well glory be!
HOLLIDAY: He-he. What d'ya know?!
KATE: D'you know you're our very first customer? Ha-ha!
HOLLIDAY: Yeah!
(The Doctor smells the alcohol on Holliday's breath and looks at Kate dubiously.)
DOCTOR: Oh, I see, we- Tch...ah, well under the circumstances I think perhaps... Er yes, excuse me...
(The Doctor swiftly exits the back room and walks across the shop, Holliday pursues him.)
HOLLIDAY: Er, now-now-now-now-now, stranger! Just you sit right down in that chair!
KATE: Right along here, honey!
(Kate grabs the Doctor and thrusts him into Holliday's adjustable chair. Holliday stands over the Doctor like as if he were a Spanish inquisitor.)
DOCTOR: Yeah well, as a matter of fact my dear sir..!
HOLLIDAY: Yeah, as a matter of fact it don't do to delay dental treatment!
(Holliday steps on a pedal and the chair descends.)
HOLLIDAY: Down you go, that's the philosophy of toothache! Now you go in the back room Kate.
KATE: Oh! Can't I watch?
HOLLIDAY: Now you know you can't stand the sight of blood!
(She looks disappointed.)
KATE: Oh okay. But I'll be thinkin' of ya!
(She grabs the Doctor's cheek affectionately.)
DOCTOR: AAARRGH! wh-tch-tch-oh!
HOLLIDAY: She's a kind of a sensitive girl. Well now, what seems to be your trouble sir?
DOCTOR: Well, I think it's at the back here somewhere.
HOLLIDAY: Yeah, let me look.
(The Doctor opens his mouth.)
HOLLIDAY: Oh yeah, I see. Well now, if you'll just hold real still, I'll erm...
(He takes a grubby pair of pliers from his coat pocket and advances.)
DOCTOR: Oh-er, just a minute please, ehm-ehm, haven't you any, er, anaesthetic mm? Hmph-hmph!
HOLLIDAY: What?
DOCTOR: Well er, something to sort of...dull the pain, man!
(He hold up his gun.)
HOLLIDAY: Well I could give you a rap on the cranium with this, er, six millimetre...
(He holds up his gun.)
DOCTOR: Good gracious, certainly not!
(He proffers a bottle.)
HOLLIDAY: You're welcome to a slug o' rattlesnake oil!
DOCTOR: Oh my dear man, I never touch the alcohol!
HOLLIDAY: Haha! Well I do.
(He raises the bottle and takes a few gulps.)
DOCTOR: Well I must say, this is most unprofessional! I do hope you know what you're doing!
HOLLIDAY: I never tolerated any complaints yet, in my whole life. Now then... You just Open wide!
(The Doctor reluctantly opens his mouth with a pained expression on his face and Holliday moves the pliers forward...)
BALLAD: It's your last chance of boozing,
Where there's no-one to mind. It's your last chance of losing And the first place you'll find.
[SCENE_BREAK]
11, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
CHARLIE: Sorry it's kinda quiet in here tonight gentlemen. We er, do reckon to have a singer only she's just stepped out a while down the...
BILLY: Maybe it's too quiet for you barman? Like us to liven it up a little for ya? How about a little fancy shootin', ha?
CHARLIE: Nah I don't want any trouble!
(Billy tosses his gun from one hand to the other.)
BILLY: No trouble at all, friend.
(He spins his gun around his finger and aims at a bottle, behind the bar shooting it into fragments.)
IKE: You gone clean out of your mind, boy?!
(A few customers hastily leave.)
IKE: That ain't no way to behave! Siddown!
(The saloon doors open and Steven and Dodo enter.)
IKE: Oh, we got company.
(As Steven walks in the saloon door swings back and hits him.)
PHINEAS: Well lookie here, if it isn't Calamity Jane and Sam Bass!
(They all laugh as Steven and Dodo quietly approach, and lean against it the bar. Steven thumps a small loud bell on the counter and he and Dodo nonchalantly looks away. Charlie slowly pokes his head above the bar.)
CHARLIE: What'll it be, stranger?
(Steven and Dodo spin around in fright, and see Charlie standing there as if he had just teleported in. Steven uses his phony accent again, as if it were a local language.)
STEVEN: Ah... Oh nothing to drink thanks. We er, we just want to book three rooms.
CHARLIE: Three? For the two of ye?
STEVEN: A-a..oh, no, we got a friend joinin' us later.
CHARLIE: Oh, well I'll have to ask you to sign the book here.
STEVEN: Sure.
CHARLIE: Just your names and occupations.
(He reads what they have written.)
CHARLIE: Say, are you really a piano player lady?
(Dodo joins in with Steven for a spot of bad accent impersonation.)
DODO: You're darn tootin' I am!
CHARLIE: And a singer too, well I'll be...
STEVEN: Why, what's the matter?
CHARLIE: Well nothin' in the wide world, friend, I might just be able to offer you a job is all. I-I-I got no pianist on account he was shot last week; and I do have a singer, but she's always out someplace...understand?
(He winks repeatedly, but only ends up making it look like a mosquito has flown into his eye.)
DODO: I...think so.
STEVEN: Yeah, well i-it's very kind of you, but we gotta leave town in the mornin'.
(He holds out an expectant hand.)
CHARLIE: Ah well, er, let me know if you change your mind. Er, first floor. Three, six and seven.
(Steven takes the keys.)
STEVEN: Why thanks. Come on Dodo.
(Steven leads Dodo away past the tables.)
DODO: Ah, but Steven...
STEVEN: It's no good Dodo! The Doctor would never forgive me if anything happened to you.
HARPER: You all hear what I heard?
(Dodo and Steven pause on the steps.)
DODO: Ah well... Hey, what about his key?
STEVEN: Oh that's a point' yes. Leave it downstairs for him, okay?
(Dodo goes back and give Charlie the Doctor's key.)
DODO: Give this to our friend the Doctor with my compliments.
CHARLIE: Sure ma'am.
(Dodo leaves.)
IKE: So Holliday ain't travelling alone this time.
BILLY: Gimme that book!
(He grabs the book and reads.)
CHARLIE: Now see here!
BILLY: Steven Regret. Now any of you boys ever see a singer carry six guns afore?
PHINEAS: So Holliday has got hisself a partner!
IKE: Harper! Are you sure Holliday doesn' know we're lookin' for him?
HARPER: Oh how could he, I ain't spread it about!
IKE: I dunno, but when he comes to collect his key I'll sure have me an itchy feelin' in mah back thinkin' of his friend Regret comin' down those stairs behind me. Phin, go up and fetch him down!
PHINEAS: What'll I say?
IKE: Anything, only keep it friendly.
PHINEAS: You're the boss!
IKE: An' Harper, You take a walk down main street an see if you can find Holliday. I'm gettin' tired of just sittin' here waitin'!
[SCENE_BREAK]
12, INT: DENTIST'S SHOP
(Holliday holds up the Doctor's tooth.)
HOLLIDAY: My-my, what a fine piece of ivory! You know, I think I'll give that to Kate for a souvenir!
DOCTOR: I don't care what you do with it my good man, only get it out of my sight! Hunh!
HOLLIDAY: Yeah.
DOCTOR: What do I owe you, hmm?
HOLLIDAY: Oh you don't owe me nothing Mister, you're my first customer you have this one on the house!
(Holliday walks into the back to give the tooth to Kate. The Doctor moans softly to himself holding the handkerchief to his mouth.)
DOCTOR: Oh! Good thing I didn't have to have my tonsils out! Oh!
[SCENE_BREAK]
13, EXT: MAIN STREET
BALLAD: ...When there's blood upon the sawdust
At the Last Chance Saloon!
(Seth Harper walks over to the window of the dentist shop and peers in, then enters.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14, INT: DENTIST'S SHOP
(Seth looks around and sees the person he remembers having described to him.)
HARPER: Doc!
(The Doctor turns.)
DOCTOR: Oh yes-yes, what? What is it?
HARPER: Holliday?
DOCTOR: Holiday? Yes, I suppose so. Yes, you call it that. Mm hm-hm-hm!
HARPER: My name's Harper, Seth Harper.
(In the back room Holliday listens to the conversation.)
DOCTOR: Oh, well I'm very glad to know you Mr Harper! Yes, I suppose you've brought a message from my friends...
HARPER: Well, kinda a message, Doc. The boys are waitin' for you at the saloon. They'd sure like to buy you a drink!
DOCTOR: Oh well, that's er very sociable of them. But ah, unfortunately I don't touch alcohol. Hmph!
HARPER: That's not what I heard Doc! But, ah...we'll play it your way. Look, we'll give you five minutes, and if you aren't there we're gonna come looking for ya! Okay?
(He leaves the shop. Kate tries to walk through to the main shop, but Holliday stops her from interfering.)
KATE: Now Doc!
HOLLIDAY: Nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah!
(Holliday takes off his gun belt, laughs to himself and walks through into the shop, Kate follows him.)
DOCTOR: Oh that's a very charming man that, er, Mr Harper. Did you hear what he said?
HOLLIDAY: Yeah, that's just fair Western hospitality ya know. But if you'll forgive my saying so, you ain't dressed right for a party!
DOCTOR: Oh my dear man, I fail to see that my clothes have...
HOLLIDAY: Ah now, it ain't exactly your clothes...
DOCTOR: Well what is it then, hmm?
HOLLIDAY: You ain't wearin' a gun.
DOCTOR: Well I should hope not! I certainly disapprove of violence!
HOLLIDAY: Ha! Now you can borrow mine!
DOCTOR: No-no-no-no-no, I...no!
HOLLIDAY: Now come along, here you just stand up. Now you put the holster on him.
(Kate obliges.)
HOLLIDAY: Now my gun here has my name printed on it from way down Alabama, my-where my father was a Colonel in the army. So you can return that to me when you leave Tombstone which no doubt you will! Now there you are sir!
(Laughing at himself Holliday hands the Doctor a gun. He looks in speechless astonishment at the gun which he is unsteadily holding.)
DOCTOR: W...ah!
(The Doctor bends down the examine the gunbelt that has just been fastened around his waist and waves the weapon towards Kate. She moves it aside, he keeps moving until the gun is pointing at Holliday. Holliday takes the gun and slips it into the holster at the Doctor's side.)
HOLLIDAY: You put that in the holster. ...Fetch the gentleman's hat, Kate!
KATE: Here we are!
(She plants the Doctor's hat onto his head.)
HOLLIDAY: There now, ain't he smart? Ain't 'e though!
KATE: Swell, cute!
(She pinches the Doctor's cheek again.)
HOLLIDAY: Let's just come along to your party, you come along to your party.
(The Doctor looks slightly flustered.)
DOCTOR: Thank you, thank you. I don't know how I shall ever repay you.
HOLLIDAY: You'll find a way to repay me. Goodbye... And good luck!
DOCTOR: What?
HOLLIDAY: Goodbye and good luck.
DOCTOR: Oh. yes indeed, yes thank you. And the same to you and many of them. Goodbye for the moment. Oh!
(The Doctor walks out of the doors of the dentist shop.)
HOLLIDAY: It sure seems a pity he bothered to have that tooth out!
[SCENE_BREAK]
15, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
(Seth walks back into the saloon and walks over to Ike and Billy.)
HARPER: Okay Clanton I found Holliday. He'll be here in about five minutes.
IKE: Great!
PHINEAS: Now then Mr Regret, you and the little lady step right down to the piano and give us a song!
(He walks down the steps with Steven and Dodo, when they get down the are surrounded by Seth and the Clantons all with drawn pistols.)
STEVEN: Ah...yeah well ah, the thing is we're ah, kinda a little bit out of practice! Y'know...it's...
PHINEAS: Ha-haha!
BILLY: So here's your chance to warm up a little!
DODO: Hey, couldn't we rehearse on our own first?
STEVEN: Yeah!
IKE: How about that, they wanna be on their own! You'll sing here, now and fast!
STEVEN: Oh well why?
IKE: On account of we're all music lovers!
(The Clantons aim their guns squarely in the direction of Steven and Dodo and Ike cocks his gun. Something falls to the ground with a clatter and Steven and Dodo simultaneously scream in fright.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
16, EXT: MAIN STREET
BALLAD: When there's blood upon the sawdust
In the Last Chance Saloon!
(The Doctor walks down the street holding his handkerchief to the side of his face. He stops and examines the gun which Holliday gave him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
17, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
(Billy creeps behind Steven and slips the toy guns out of his holsters with no small amusement.)
BILLY: You don't need guns to sing Mr Regret, I'll hold 'em for you!
(Steven wheels round.)
STEVEN: Hey, now come on will ya!
(Phineas motions with his gun.)
PHINEAS: Shuddup! And sing, friend!
(Steven turns to Dodo.)
STEVEN: You wait 'til I see the Doctor, he got us into this!
IKE: What's the trouble?
(Dodo scrabbles on the piano for music.)
STEVEN: Nothin', we just choosin' a song!
DODO: Oh here's one.
(He whispers to Dodo.)
STEVEN: Let's hope that the piano knows it!
DODO: The Ballad of the Last Chance Saloon.
STEVEN: Play maestro!
IKE: Hold it!
(He turns to the others.)
IKE: Boys, watch the door, and when Holliday comes through it, blast 'im!
(Billy and Phineas rush either side of the door, and Harper just looks on. Ike motions to Steven with his gun.)
IKE: Okay!
(Dodo begins to tinkle on the old honky-tonk like a diva.)
STEVEN: With rings on their fingers
And bells on their toes The girls come to Tombstone In their high silk-hoes.
They'll dance on the tables
Or give you a tune, For whatever's in your wallet At the Last Chance Saloon!
(Harper sees him slow down, and levels a gun at him. As Steven finishes he looks up and jumps at the sight of the gun pointed at his face. Taking it as a hint he begins to sing the next verse.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18, EXT: MAIN STREET
(Outside Steven's singing can be heard by the Doctor who walks steadily towards the Saloon.)
STEVEN OOV: It's your last chance of givin',
It's your last chance of rye, It's your last chance at livin' And your last chance to die!
[SCENE_BREAK]
19, INT: LAST CHANCE SALOON
(With guns pointed at them, both Steven and Dodo are powerless to prevent the Doctor from walking straight into a trap laid for Doc Holliday.)
STEVEN: It's your last chance of boozing,
Where there's no-one to mind. It's your last chance of losing And the first place you'll find...
|
Plan: A: Tombstone; Q: What town does the Doctor arrive in? A: the First Doctor; Q: Which Doctor is involved with gunmen out to kill Doc Holliday? Summary: Arriving in the town of Tombstone, the First Doctor finds himself involved with gunmen out to kill Doc Holliday...
|
[TRIQUETRA]
[Scenes from 8X16: Engaged and Confused]
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT -- DAY]
(The door opens and Coop walks in. Phoebe, Christy and Billie are sitting on the couch. Phoebe gets to her feet.)
COOP: Oh, whoops. This isn't right.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Phoebe and Coop talk.)
PHOEBE: Who are you?
FLASH TO:
[LOGO: TRIQUETRA]
ROSE MCGOWAN (NARRATOR): (v.o.) Previously on "Charmed" ...
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT - DAY]
(Coop explains who he is.)
COOP: Oh, I'm Cupid. You can call me "Coop."
PHOEBE: I don't need help finding true love.
COOP: (counters) Apparently you do.
TRIQUETRA FLASH TO:
[INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY - DAY]
(Paige descends the stairs in her wedding dress.)
(Cut to: Henry slips the wedding band on Paige's finger.)
PAIGE: I do.
HENRY: I do.
TRIQUETRA FLASH TO:
[Scene from 8X10: Vaya Con Leos]
[INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVE - NIGHT]
(Piper tearfully explains things to Leo.)
PIPER: It's just our screwed up destiny and I have to lose you to save you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Leo is in a cryogenic chamber. It flashes and freezes Leo inside.)
(Piper covers her eyes with her hands.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
ANGEL OF DESTINY: If you prevail, he will be returned.
TRIQUETRA FLASH TO:
[Scene from 8X09: Hulkus Pocus]
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Billie talks with Emrick.)
BILLIE: What I want is to find the demon that took my sister fifteen years ago.
[Scene from 8X11: Mr. and Mrs. Witch]
[INT. MANOR - DINING ROOM -- EVENING]
(Billie talks with her parents.)
BILLIE: I remember a month after she was taken, you guys went back to your
pretty little lives like nothing ever happened.
CARL JENKINS: You were five. What do you know?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. DORM ROOM - DAY]
(Billie vows to her mother.)
BILLIE: I'm gonna find her, mom.
TRIQUETRA FLASH TO:
[Scene from 8X15: The Last Temptation of Christy]
[Voice over from 8X16: Engaged and Confused]
[INT MANOR - PHOEBE'S BEDROOM - DAY]
(Billie kneels down in front of her.)
BILLIE: Christy, it's okay, you're safe now.
(Sniffling, Christy raises her head and looks at Billie.)
XAR: (v.o.) A strange, powerful witch appears in the Charmed Ones' lives, just
as the Triad is close to achieving its goal.
[INT. UNDERWORLD - LAIR]
(Candor talks with the other Triad.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): It's kill or be killed now.
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - HALLWAY - DAY]
(Candor sinks back into the floor, vanishing.)
PHOEBE: I can't believe we did it!
PIPER: Two out of three.
[INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL - DAY]
(Candor appears to Christy in the center of the other witches, all frozen.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): Now you must fulfill your destiny to unite with the ultimate
power.
CHRISTY: Billie ...
FADE TO
END OF PREVIOUSLY ON
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - FOYER -- DAY]
(The doorbell rings. Paige opens the door to Phoebe who is digging through her bag looking for something. Phoebe enters the house)
PHOEBE: Ugh! I can't find my keys.
(Paige shuts the door behind her.)
PAIGE: Oh, that's okay, 'cause you know, it's only an hour or so before I leave
for my honeymoon.
(Phoebe puts her arm around Paige's shoulders as they walk to the main hall.)
PHOEBE: Sorry ... Mrs. Mitchell!
PAIGE: Oh, no, no, no. I'm keeping my own last name.
PHOEBE: Really? You're not even gonna hyphenate it?
PAIGE: Matthews-Mitchell? I'm thinking it sounds like a law firm.
PHOEBE: Yeah.
PAIGE: Yeah. So, uh ... How's Cupid?
PHOEBE: You mean Coop? He's fine, but don't ask.
PAIGE: What? I thought you said he was cute.
PHOEBE: He is cute, but he is also a magical pain in the -
(Phoebe turns to look at the dining room and is shocked.)
PHOEBE: Wow! Look at this spread!
(The dining room table is filled with lots of breakfast dishes.)
PAIGE: Yeah, it's something, isn't it.
(Paige quickly takes a seat at the table. Billie, Christy, Wyatt and Chris are already seated.)
PIPER: Oh, it's nothing. It's just kinda to wish Paige "bon voyage."
CHRISTY: (mutters) It's been like this all week.
PIPER: Besides, it's nice to have company again, you know, considering most people in my life are moving on or moving out.
PAIGE: (to Phoebe) I'm thinking she means us.
(Piper turns and looks at Billie and Christy.)
PIPER: Waffles, sweetie?
CHRISTY: (telepathically) When'll you rescue me from this?
BILLIE: Christy!
(Wyatt looks at them.)
PHOEBE: Hey, no telepathy at the table.
(Piper clears her throat.)
CHRISTY: Sorry.
PAIGE: Hey, have you guys checked into any of these rumors about students
being attacked at Magic School, because, you know, if you need any help with that, I can stay.
PHOEBE: Paige.
(Paige gets a look from Phoebe.)
PAIGE: I'm just saying. (sighs dramatically, drops it and gets to her feet)
Fine. I am just a jingle away if you need me. Um -- I'll be in Bora Bora, which is two hours behind, so don't wake me unless you absolutely have to. But it's okay if you have to, you know, it's okay.
PIPER: All right, stop it, it's time for gifts.
(Phoebe gives Paige an envelope.)
PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. Happy honeymoon, from all of us.
(Smiling, Paige opens the envelope. Her smile fades.)
PAIGE: Um, there's nothing in here.
BILLIE: Exactly. Nothing. As in no demons.
PIPER: And no warlocks, no complications, a honeymoon that is completely
free of distractions.
PHOEBE: Except Henry.
PIPER: And, before you say anything, don't worry, Phoebe, Billy and I have things completely under control. And, you know, Christy's doing just fine too,
CHRISTY: You think?
PIPER: Oh, yeah, are you kidding? With the progress you've made? (Piper grabs the pitcher of orange juice to pour when -
(Suddenly everyone stops moving.)
(Everyone, except Christy.)
(Christy looks up and around the room. The room is considerably darker.)
(Candor rises from the ground and materializes in the doorway between the dining room and the conservatory.)
(Christy turns around and gets up.)
CHRISTY: What are you doing here?
CANDOR (TRIAD): Your purpose is to lure your sister away from The Charmed
Ones -- not become enmeshed yourself.
CHRISTY: I don't need you to tell me how to do my job. Now go! Now! (Candor slips back down into the floor and vanishes. Christy turns and takes her seat at the table.)
TIME RESUMES
(Everyone unfreezes and the room gets brighter.)
PIPER: ... you're practically one of us.
(Phoebe nods. Wyatt nods, too.)
(Christy doesn't seem all that thrilled.)
FADE TO
END OF TEASER
ROLL TITLE CREDITS
(COMMERCIAL SET)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - STAIRS -- DAY]
(Paige pulls her suitcase down the stairs while the girls follow behind her, each carrying another suitcase.)
PIPER: Are you sure you need this much stuff for Tahiti?
PAIGE: Well, you know, it's kind of more for me staying over at Henry's ... forever! Mmph!
(And with a final push, she gets the suitcase down in the main hall.)
PIPER: Well, I hope he's got a big closet. (to Christy) Although that does
leave more room for your stuff.
CHRISTY: Oh -- I don't ... have any stuff.
PIPER: Well you will have stuff. Every girl needs stuff. We've got tons of stuff, you can have some of our stuff. You gotta wear something.
(Christy and Billie look at each other.)
CHRISTY: (telepathically) Help.
PAIGE: I guess I'd better go. Don't wanna miss my honeymoon. You sure
you're gonna be okay without me?
PIPER: Well, we won't know until you're gone.
(Paige stares at Piper. Piper breaks into a smile.)
PIPER: I'm just kidding. Go, have a good time. Don't worry.
PAIGE: Okay. I'll go. I'll have fun. I'll wear my sun block. Bye, guys.
(Billie waves bye. Paige orbs herself and all her suitcases out.)
PIPER: (affectionately) She's gonna drive Henry crazy.
BILLIE: (sympathetically) Yeah.
(Upstairs, Chris cries.)
PIPER: Oh, excuse me.
(Piper turns and heads upstairs.)
(When she's gone, Christy is quiet. She turns and walks into the sitting room.)
BILLIE: Are you okay?
CHRISTY: Yeah. Yeah, no. I'm fine. I -- I just kind of feel like, you know, that
that should be us. Yeah, moving out and finding our own place.
BILLIE: What? Why? This place is great. Plus, we have Book of Shadows, we have potion ingredients and -
CHRISTY: Piper ... look, she's great, okay? Really. But part of me feels like ... (quietly) ... she's using us. And I'm gonna explode if she feeds me any more food.
BILLIE: She's just trying to help.
CHRISTY: I know, but she's not our mom.
BILLIE: Speaking of which, mom and dad are in town right now and they wanna see you, they've already come out here twice.
CHRISTY: Billie ...
(Christy sits down on the sofa.)
BILLIE: Come on, can't you just, like, meet them for lunch today? Their plane
leaves tonight. Start to get to know them.
CHRISTY: I can't.
BILLIE: Why not?
CHRISTY: Because I'm still angry at them. I know it doesn't make any sense, but part of me feels like they ... abandoned me. I'm just not ... ready to see them right now, okay?
(Piper comes down the stairs with Chris.)
PIPER: Little guy is hungry. Hey! How about lunch?
BILLIE: I can't, I'm meeting my parents.
PIPER: Oh, okay. Christy, what about you?
(Christy turns around and smiles stiffly at Piper. Grinning, Piper turns and heads for the kitchen.)
(Christy turns and smiles stiffly at Billie.)
(PRE-LAP) CHRISTY: (v.o.) I swear to God, I think she's trying to kill me.
WHITE FLASH TO:
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY -- DAY]
(Christy complains to Candor.)
CHRISTY: It's like death by dinner. Do you know how hard it is to smile when
you're nauseous?
CANDOR (TRIAD): Then leave. And take your sister with you.
CHRISTY: It's not that simple. I have to draw Billie out without her knowing it.
CANDOR (TRIAD): Or letting yourself be drawn in and the longer you take, the greater the chance you'll be distracted from our ultimate goal.
CHRISTY: That's not gonna happen. Piper's mothering will see to that.
(Off Screen, someone screams in agony.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(The torturing of an innocent is in progress. Noxon Demons, Rondok and Pator, use a demonic cattle prod on a young witch and ex-student, Ryan. He writhes in terrible pain on the floor as the demons ZAP him.)
RYAN: Aaaaaagh!
RONDOK: (gloats) The shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it, huh?
RYAN: Aagh!
RONDOK: How's it feel, witch?
CANDOR (TRIAD): (o.s.) What the hell is going on?
(They turn and see Candor and Christy approach. Ryan pants and sees them.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): No one is to be here.
RONDOK: Back off, old man!
(Candor swings his arm and magically throws Rondok up against the wall, pinning him there and crushing him. Rondok grunts.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): I am Candor, a Triad, and I will not be disparaged by the likes of you. (Candor makes a fist and squeezes. Rondok's breath tightens. He grunts from pain.)
(Meanwhile, Ryan is on the floor watching.)
(Christy stands on the side watching.)
(Rondok continues to grunt from under the pressure. Rondok's breathing gets faster, angry pain crosses his face and he drops his cattle prod.)
ANGLE - THE WITCH, RYAN
(Seeing his opportunity, Ryan quickly scrambles past Christy and out the Great Hall.)
BACK TO SCENE
(Rondok sees Ryan escape.)
RONDOK: (barks to Pator) Stop him!
(Pator takes a step to chase after him, but Candor holds a hand out and stops him.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): Let him go!
(Pator stops.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): Don't you know we're trying to change the world here?
Your witch is nothing compared to that.
RONDOK: That witch spent a year torturing us. We deserve our revenge!
CANDOR (TRIAD): And you shall have it. But not here and not now. (Waving both hands, Candor shimmers both Rondok and Pator out of the Great Hall.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): (to Christy) Now, then. Back to your sister.
(He smiles at her.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HOTEL (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY]
(Billie talks with her parents, Helen and Carl Jenkins.)
HELEN JENKINS: (upset) Why wouldn't she wanna see us?
(She sighs.)
HELEN JENKINS: I just don't understand.
BILLIE: I know, mom. You know, she's just been through a lot.
CARL JENKINS: Well, it's obvious to me she still blames us.
HELEN JENKINS: Well then why can't she talk to us and tell us that then?
Wait. Billie, is she still hearing voices?
BILLIE: No, no. But you know Piper was just saying how much progress she's made. I don't know, when it comes to you guys, there's just something holding her back.
HELEN JENKINS: (hopeful) You think maybe there's a chance she might get over that "something" by tonight? You can tell her we'll meet her anywhere for however long. I just -- I would just talk to her on the phone -
(Her voice breaks. Carl puts his arms around her.)
CARL JENKINS: we just want some kind of contact.
BILLIE: I know. I know. And I've tried talking to her, I -- (She sighs.) Let
me just see what I can do.
(Billie hugs her mom.)
HELEN JENKINS: Thank you, honey.
BILLIE: You're welcome.
(Billie heads for the door.)
CARL JENKINS: Billie, look. I need you to tell Christy something for me, okay?
Tell her we love her. We do. But that I won't keep putting your mother through this. I can't. If she won't see us now, we're not flying out here again.
(Billie nods, turns and heads out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY]
(Phoebe is walking along the sidewalk. She passes by a parked taxi cab with a KQSF 108.6 ad on the roof.)
(Coop steps out from nowhere and joins her.)
PHOEBE: (groans) Okay. Oh, no. Not you again.
COOP: Yep, me again. Can't run for long, Phoebe, you know that.
(Phoebe puts her ear phones in her ear.)
PHOEBE: Oh. Does it look like I'm running? Because I'm not running. I'm
walking.
(She crosses the street. After a beat, Coop follows her.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT -- DAY]
(The door opens and Phoebe returns home. She's carrying a plastic bag of sundries. Coop is already there, sitting in a chair, waiting for her.)
COOP: All right, so answer me this. When's the last time you had a date?
(Phoebe closes the front door, passes Coop and heads for the kitchen.)
PHOEBE: I have dates all the time, thank you very much.
COOP: (scoffs) Come on, I mean a real date. You know, one that takes your
breath away, where it's the first thing that you think about when you wake up in the morning.
PHOEBE: Actually, it hasn't been that long.
COOP: Yeah? How long?
PHOEBE: Uh - well -- it's, uh -- (She thinks about it. After a long, long moment, it's apparent, she can't remember. Coop chuckles.)
PHOEBE: Okay, you know what? Maybe it has, but -- So what?
(She grabs stuff from the plastic bag.)
COOP: Christ, it's not natural. Especially not for you. I mean, you're all about
love. You always have been. I mean, now you're resisting it and you don't even realize it.
PHOEBE: Okay, you just have it all figured out.
(Phoebe heads for the bedroom.)
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT - BEDROOM - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(She opens the door and finds Coop sitting in her bead, leaning up against the headboard.)
COOP: It's my job. It's what I do.
(Phoebe sighs heavily. As Coop talks, she puts her stuff away.)
COOP: You know? It's not your fault, Phoebe. You made a lot of sacrifices for
the greater good and they've taken their toll. But ... that's why the Elders sent me.
(He gets up.)
COOP: To help.
(Phoebe turns around. Coop raises his hand over Phoebe's heart and his Cupid's ring glows. A golden shimmer starts from Phoebe's heart and completely covers her, blocking Coop.)
PHOEBE: Okay. What is that? What are you doing?
(Coop chuckles.)
COOP: I'm not doing anything. It's what you're doing. It's coming from your
heart.
(He stops.)
COOP: I don't know, some kind of an energy field in you. Uh, a block. It's
preventing you from even being open to love. Well, any idea what's causing it?
PHOEBE: No. I didn't even know I had it.
COOP: Well, all the more reason to get going.
PHOEBE: Get going where -- ? Where are we going?
COOP: To figure out what's causing the block. Ready?
(He takes her hands and with a flash, they're gone.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. DEXTER'S LOFT - DAY -- PAST]
NEWSCASTER: (from tv, o.s.) Well, it's that time of year again.
(Coop and Phoebe flash in behind a red tool chest.)
NEWSCASTER: (from tv, o.s.) The historic Golden Gate Bridge is getting a
makeover. And it seems like ...
PHOEBE: Are we in the past?
COOP: Shh! We don't wanna disrupt them. It could change the future.
NEWSCASTER: (from tv, o.s.) it's signature, red-orange paint ...
INSERT: CLIP #1 [Scene from 8X05: Rewitched] (Using the remote, Past Dex turns the television off. Just then, there's a knock at the door. Past Dex goes to answer it.)
(Present Phoebe and Dex hunch down as Past Phoebe talks with Past Dex.)
PAST PHOEBE: (o.s.) Can I come in?
PAST DEX: Yeah, sure.
(Past Phoebe walks into the loft.)
PAST DEX: If you're looking for Julie, she's not here.
PAST PHOEBE: Well, that's not entirely true.
PAST DEX: Sorry?
PAST PHOEBE: I wish that there was an easy way to explain this ... to you, to
lessen the blow, but ... there isn't. So ...
(She sighs.)
PAST PHOEBE: I'm just gonna ... show you.
PAST DEX: Show me what?
PAST PHOEBE: Forgive me.
(Past Phoebe glamours into Julie.)
(Past Dex falls backward to the floor as he passes out. Past Phoebe glamours back to herself. Sad, she turns to leave.)
(Coop and Phoebe hunch back down behind the red tool chest.)
COOP: Oh. I guess, uh -- mortals and magic don't always mix, huh?
PHOEBE: Gee, ya think?
COOP: Well, I mean, still it's just -- it's just one little incident. Certainly not
enough to cause the block like the one you have.
PHOEBE: Believe me, this is just the latest one. There are many, many more.
COOP: Really? (He holds his hand out.) Show me. (Phoebe's about to protest, but he points to his hand. She grasps it and they flash out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. MANOR - SITTING ROOM - DAY]]
(Christy is in the sitting room when Billie returns. She closes the front door and sees Christy.)
BILLIE: Aw. Hey, look at you.
CHRISTY: (less than enthused) Yeah, look at me.
BILLIE: What? That dress looks great.
CHRISTY: No it doesn't. (She stands up.) But it's Piper's. She altered it for me.
BILLIE: That's so sweet.
CHRISTY: No, it's not sweet. I mean, yeah, okay, it's sweet, but it's just weird. You know? I-- I mean, we're not her sisters. You and I are sisters.
BILLIE: Oh, she's just overcompensating, you know? It's that whole empty nest thing. Besides, I think mom and dad would really like to see you in it.
CHRISTY: Again, with mom and dad?
BILLIE: Yes, and you know why? Because dad said if you don't see them tonight, they're not coming back out.
CHRISTY: Well, from what you said, Billie, that sounds like dad being dad.
BILLIE: No, it's not! Look, they don't know what's going on with you. Neither do I.
CHRISTY: But Billie, I told you what was going on with me.
BILLIE: Yeah, but you keep talking about this whole family bond thing. Without our parents we're only half of what we should be.
(Just then, the door bell rings ... and rings.)
[INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL/FOYER - DAY]
DING-DONG. DING-DONG!
(Piper hurries down the stairs. She sees Billie with Christy.)
PIPER: Coming! Doesn't she look great?
(Christy rolls her eyes.)
(The doorbell continues ringing desperately and changes to knocking.)
PIPER: (calls out) All right, already! Sheesh!
(Piper opens the door. A dark-haired, desperate teen JEN is supporting the injured Ryan, his arm around her shoulder as she half-carries him into the manor.)
JEN: (urgently) We need to see Leo, fast ...
PIPER: Uh, hello. (Piper closes the door. Billie and Christy step out to see what's going on. From their angle and view, Jen and Ryan's backs are half-turned as they talk with Piper - enough for Christy to recognize Ryan, but not for Ryan to see her.)
PIPER: Uh, who are you?
JEN: Leo's students, from Magic School.
RYAN: Demons are trying to kill us.
(Christy steps to the side to hide behind the wall. Billie steps closer to help.)
PIPER: Oh. Okay, well take it easy. Let's go this way. Easy.
(Piper helps move them to the living room.)
PIPER: Easy. Oh. Easy. Easy.
(Close-on Christy as she's too close to getting found out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(COMMERCIAL SET)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - LIVING ROOM - DAY]
(Piper and Jen help Ryan onto the couch.)
BILLIE: Maybe we should call Paige so she can heal him.
(In the background, we see Christy step out briefly to glance at them, then quickly duck back behind the wall.)
RYAN: No, I'm fine. Really.
JEN: You're not fine, Ryan. They nearly killed you.
PIPER: Uh, who is "they"?
JEN: The Noxon demons, Leo knows all about them.
PIPER: Okay, well, humor me for a second.
JEN: He trapped them in magic school so he could use them for our advanced combat class. (off Piper's blank look) Didn't he tell you?
RYAN: You are Piper Halliwell, aren't you?
PIPER: Well, yeah. Of course I am. But -- you know, he didn't ... he doesn't always tell me everything.
BILLIE: Okay, why are they after you?
JEN: To get even with us. With the whole class. Somehow they got out and now they're hunting us down
(Christy leaves the room and heads toward the kitchen.)
PIPER: By "hunting" you mean--
RYAN: There were five of us in the class. But only Jen and I are left.
JEN: Barely. Leo said if we ever ran into trouble to come here. So. Where is
he?
PIPER: Uh -- well, he is not here right now. And he probably won't be home for some time.
RYAN: Can't you call him?
PIPER: (avoiding) Uh -- he doesn't have his cell phone on him. But, you know what? That's okay. I can handle this. Don't panic. Don't worry. Why don't you and Christy go check the Book?
BILLIE: Okay.
(Billie turns to go get Christy.)
JEN: But you don't understand. They can't be vanquished, at least not
permanently.
PIPER: What does that mean? What do you mean by that exactly?
RYAN: Other demons experimented on them, made them unvanquishable. That's why Leo wanted them, so he could keep practicing on them.
RYAN: Let's get outta here.
(Ryan gets up. Jen stands up to support him.)
PIPER: Wait, you can't go anywhere. You can barely walk.
RYAN: Look, if we don't keep moving we're dead. Leo was the only one who
knew how to stop them and he's not here.
PIPER: Okay, then what am I? Chopped liver? Listen, Leo is my husband and if he sent you here for help, then help is what you're gonna get.
[INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(Billie finds Christy hiding in the kitchen.)
BILLIE: Christy, come on. Piper and those kids need our help.
(Christy pours herself a glass of orange juice.)
CHRISTY: I just-- I can't be near any more demons anymore, okay? Not after
everything I've been through.
BILLIE: Okay, I understand that, but they're not after you so you don't have to worry. Nothing is gonna happen to you, I promise.
CHRISTY: You said that last time.
BILLIE: Well -- I know, but this time I mean it. Look, Christy, you can use your powers to help people now. We can do it together. It's a great thing. It can make up for a lot of bad stuff. Now, can we just go back out there and help Piper, please?
CHRISTY: I can't. Because then we'll ... we'll miss mom and dad.
BILLIE: What?
CHRISTY: Well, you said they were leaving, right? We don't wanna miss them. Piper can take care of them. Come on. Let's go. WHITE FLASH TO:
[INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - DAY]
(Rondok paces in a disgusted warehouse. Pator sits in a chair.)
PATOR: (consoling) It's not as bad as it seems.
RONDOK: No? That Triad sent us off like a pair of low-level demons.
PATOR: We are low-level demons.
RONDOK: He made us lose the witch, stood between us and revenge ...
(resolved) -- still, we will make him pay.
PATOR: Rondok. That was a Triad. (Pator gets to his feet.) If we anger him again, he won't just banish us. He'll send us to a fate worse than death.
RONDOK: Have you forgotten how we've been made to suffer already, brother? Trapped. Used. Hammered with spells, splattered with potions, vanquished over and over without a care for the humiliation we had to endure.
PATOR: No. No one could forget that.
RONDOK: We only have two witches left to catch and make suffer. We will find them. We must.
(Pator smiles at Rondok's resolve.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT MANOR - PATIO - DAY - FLASHBACK]
PHOEBE: Now where are we?
(Phoebe and Coop are hunched down behind a flower bush.)
COOP: This is your past. I'm just following your heart. (spots something off
screen) Whoa.
INSERT: CLIP #2:
[Scene from 2X14: Pardon My Past]
(Past Phoebe, in a 1920's red flapper's dress, steps up to the open door. Anton steps up behind her, puts his arms around her and pushes her up against the wall.)
(Coop and Phoebe watch from the bushes.)
COOP: (under his breath) Man.
PAST ANTON: I've been looking all over for you.
(Anton and Past Phoebe kiss. Hot!)
(Phoebe looks at Coop.)
COOP: (appreciatively) Nice.
PHOEBE: You went back too far. This isn't my past, this is my past life.
COOP: Yeah, but still, your all right? This can be telling. (then, re: Past-
Phoebe) Oh, it's very, very telling. (He goes back to watching them and chuckles appreciatively. Phoebe slaps him on his arm.) (Anton's hand strokes down Past Phoebe's arm ... and down her outer thigh ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Phoebe tries to cover Coop's eyes to stop him from watching what she knows is about to happen.)
(Anton's hands slides back up Past Phoebe's thighs taking her dress with her.)
(Their other hands are entwined up against the wall.)
(Coop is all smiles, completely enjoying the show, while Phoebe's got her hands pressed against her eyes. She's too embarrassed. She pulls up her collar around her.)
(Finally, their kiss ends.)
PAST PHOEBE: Why must you tease me, Anton?
(Phoebe laughs.)
COOP: Well, that was very ... intimate, um -- why didn't that one work out?
PHOEBE: My sisters had to vanquish him because he was a demon.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT -- PAST]
(Anton is on fire and screaming. He explodes.)
BACK TO SCENE.
COOP: Yeah. That'll ruin a relationship. That was the only demon you knew,
though. Wasn't it?
PHOEBE: (scoffs) Hardly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - NIGHT -- PAST]
(With a flash, Coop and Phoebe appear hunched behind a row of chairs. They watch Past Phoebe with Drake.)
INSERT: CLIP #3
[Scene from 7X16: Seven Year Witch]
DRAKE: I couldn't think of a better day to die.
PAST PHOEBE: Hm.
DRAKE: Sorry. I also helped you find love, didn't I?
PAST PHOEBE: Hm.
DRAKE: Come on. I did. Didn't I? I did, I sure did.
(Coop looks at Phoebe.)
PAST PHOEBE: You did.
DRAKE: Hm. Close one. If that doesn't get me in heaven, I don't know what
will.
(Coop looks at Phoebe.)
COOP: Hmm. You liked him, didn't you?
PHOEBE: Yeah. Too bad he only had a year to live and this was his last day.
COOP: Yeah. That is too bad.
(They go back to watching Past Phoebe with Drake.)
PAST PHOEBE: I guess I fell for the right guy this time.
DRAKE: Alas: Pumpkin time. Would not need you watching my messy demise.
(Drake gets up. Phoebe stops him and pulls him back to sit down next to her. They kiss.)
DRAKE: (whispers) Think of me when you dance. I'll miss you.
(Coop watches Phoebe watch them.)
(Drake gets up and walks out of the Great Hall. He does a Gene Kelly foot slide out of the room and into the hallway.)
(The doors start to close behind him.)
PAST PHOEBE: I'll miss you.
(The doors close.)
(Coop takes her hands.)
COOP: I think I'm beginning to understand.
(And they flash out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT - LIVING ROOM - DAY - PRESENT]
(They flash in.)
COOP: (sighs) You know, love wouldn't be love without a few heartbreaks.
It's like a mating dance, you know? Helps you find out what you're really looking for.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but I've had more than just a few heartbreaks. I mean, it's been like this for the last seven and a half years. I'm just -- I'm tired of it.
(They sit down.)
COOP: Oh, come on. Couldn't have been that bad. You must've had some
successes over that time, right? What was the longest relationship you ever had?
(beat)
PHOEBE: Cole.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY]
(POOF! A white cloud rises from the potions cauldron. Piper puts the container she's holding down. Jen and Ryan are in the attic.)
PIPER: Okay, so the next time the Noxons attack we'll be ready for them.
RYAN: What about the whole "unvanquishable" thing?
PIPER: Well, you know, magic school rules don't always apply to the outside world. It's kinda like Vegas. Listen, really, if Leo is concerned he would've mentioned something to me before.
RYAN: Are you sure? Because --
PIPER: Positive. Just, you know, when they show up just stand back and watch out.
RYAN: You sure you don't want us to help?
JEN: We can, you know? Leo taught us --
PIPER: (interrupts) Yeah, but that was school. And this is kind of real. So, you know -- Look, you came here for protection. So let me protect you, okay? That's that. (The Noxon Demons shimmer into the attic behind Piper. Jen and Ryan stare at them speechless. By the looks on their faces, Piper can guess what they're looking at.)
PIPER: (whispers) Get down! (Ryan pushes Jen off to the side just as Pator powers up and throws a fireball at them.)
(The fireball hits the couch, missing them.)
(Piper turns and throws a potion. Rondok intercepts it, blowing it up in the air.)
(Pator throws a fireball at Piper. She ducks and the fireball misses her.)
(Piper throws a potion at Pator and hits him square in the chest. Pator screams.)
PATOR: Aaaah!
(Ryan gets up from behind the couch to watch.)
(Pator starts to break up as he screams.)
PATOR: Argggh!
(But Ryan's seen this before.)
RYAN: He's coming back!
(As Piper watches, Pator does indeed come back.)
PATOR: Aaargh!
(Rondok steps forward and puts his hands on Pator's shoulders. He shimmers them both out.)
(Piper turns to look at Ryan and Jen.)
PIPER: (sheepishly) Okay. So, I may have underestimated this
unvanquishable stuff just a little bit.
(Camera holds on Piper.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(COMMERCIAL SET)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. PARK -- DAY]
(Billie and Christy are walking through the park. Billie stops when she sees something in front of them.)
BILLIE: Hey, there they are. (In the distance, their parents, Helen and Carl, are sitting on a park bench. Billie starts forward. Christy stops her.)
CHRISTY: Wait. What if I'm not what they expect? What if I'm not what they want? Tell them I got sick.
BILLIE: No!
CHRISTY: Billie ...
(In the distance, Helen turns and sees them. Her face lights up with a smile.)
BILLIE: Look, you were held captive by demons for fifteen years. You can
handle fifteen minutes with mom and dad.
(Helen stands up.)
BILLIE: Come on.
(Billie grabs Christy's hand and pulls her toward their parents.)
(When she reaches them, Helen gives Christy a hug as Carl watches. Christy's arms are stiffly by her side.)
(Billie stands on the side watching her mom cry.)
HELEN JENKINS: Oh. Baby!
(She sighs and cries. Carl smiles.)
HELEN JENKINS: Oh! I'm so glad to see you.
(She laughs.)
CHRISTY: Yeah, you too.
(Christy turns around and can barely look at her father. Carl gives her a hug.)
CARL JENKINS: Oh, thank god.
HELEN JENKINS: Okay, come.
(Helen and Christy sit.)
HELEN JENKINS: I just wanna look at you for a minute. You're so beautiful.
You are, really. You'd never know anything ever happened.
(Carl sits down next to Christy.)
CARL JENKINS: So, how are you feeling? Okay?
CHRISTY: Yeah, I'm okay.
(Helen and Carl smiles.)
CHRISTY: Billie's taking good care of me.
BILLIE: Well, yes. And the sisters.
HELEN JENKINS: I'm not surprised, you two were always so close ... hm?
(Billie's phone rings.)
BILLIE: It's Piper. Sorry, I gotta take this.
(She answers it.)
CHRISTY: (telepathically) Don't leave me here!
BILLIE: Relax. You're doing fine. (to phone) Hello?
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY]
(Piper is talking softly on the phone while Ryan and Jen are in the back cleaning up.)
PIPER: (from phone) Billie? I need you.
BILLIE: Um, Piper, I can't really talk right now, I'm kinda in the middle of something very important.
PIPER: (from phone) I know, and I'm really sorry. But the noxons just attacked here.
BILLIE: And?
PIPER: Honestly, I have no idea how to vanquish them.
(She sighs.)
BILLIE: Okay, all right. I'm coming over. Bye. (hangs up) You guys, I'm
sorry. I really have to go. Piper needs me.
CARL JENKINS: Is everything all right?
BILLIE: Yeah you know -- just one of many crisis. All right, um -- I'll meet you guys back at the hotel, okay?
(Billie blows them a kiss, turns and leaves. Christy glares at Billie's back.)
CHRISTY: (telepathically) I hate you.
(Billie turns around and makes a face at Christy.)
(Christy turn and gives an uncomfortable smile to her mom.)
HELEN JENKINS: So --
CHRISTY: Can I ask you a question?
HELEN JENKINS: Of course you can, honey. You can ask us anything.
CHRISTY: How hard did you look for me?
CARL JENKINS: Oh.
HELEN JENKINS: Oh, baby.
CARL JENKINS: We tried everything we could think of, honey -- tracked down
every lead we could find ... but even with all that, you were just -- you were some place we couldn't go.
HELEN JENKINS: That's why this is such a miracle.
(Helen hugs Christy. Christy smiles briefly.)
CHRISTY: Yeah, it is.
(In her mind, Christy hears another voice.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): (telepathically) What are you doing?
CHRISTY: (out loud) Leave me alone.
CARL JENKINS: Christie, are you all right?
CANDOR (TRIAD): (telepathically) Do not go down this path.
CHRISTY: Show yourself.
(Suddenly everyone in the park stops.)
(Everyone, except Christy.)
(Everything appears considerably darker.)
(Christy gets up off the park bench just as Candor rises up from the ground.)
CHRISTY: How dare you interrupt me?
CANDOR (TRIAD): You gave me no choice. Every step you take toward your
mortal family is a step away from our ultimate goal.
CHRISTY: I had to come see them. Otherwise Billie would've gotten suspicious.
CANDOR (TRIAD): Perhaps, but they're swaying you and you know it. Don't make me take matters into my own hands.
CHRISTY: Don't you threaten me. (Fire engulfs Candor. He looks down at the fire consuming him as though it were nothing but an illusion. The fire disappears.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): You don't have the power to destroy me. And you won't, either, until you're free of the ties that bind.
(Candor sinks down into the ground and vanishes.)
TIME RESUMES.
(Helen and Carl look around, noting that Christy has disappeared. Carl turns and sees Christy standing a distance away, her back to them.)
CARL JENKINS: Christy!
HELEN JENKINS: Baby!
(Christy turns around.)
HELEN JENKINS: What happened?
(Christy doesn't say anything.)
(PRE-LAP) PIPER: (v.o.) What can I say? Desperate times call for desperate
measures.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY]
(Piper has her hands full of crystals and places them down on the floor.)
PIPER: Look, Leo's just seriously indisposed at the moment. We can't call him,
we can't ask him anything.
JEN: Then what do we do?
PIPER: (sighs) We batten down the hatches with the crystals and come up with a new plan.
RYAN: And us?
PIPER: You guys stay up here, where you are protected. I'll deal with the rest.
(Piper puts the rest of the crystals back in the box.)
RYAN: We could help. You know, Leo would want us --
PIPER: (interrupts) Look, Leo is gone, okay? I'm all you've got. Deal with it. I
do.
(Piper turns and leaves the attic.)
[INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL -- DAY]
(Billie walks in.)
BILLIE: Oh, listen, I've gotta get back, so what's the plan?
(Piper comes down the stairs with the box of crystals.)
PIPER: Here. Take your crystal. We are covering the house.
(Billie's not impressed. She takes a couple of crystals anyway.)
BILLIE: That's it?
PIPER: Yes. Apparently Leo was the only one who knew how to vanquish
these demons and he didn't leave me instructions.
BILLIE: Well, maybe we should call Paige and Phoebe.
PIPER: No, Paige hasn't even been on her honeymoon 24 hours yet and I already called Phoebe, she's not answering.
BILLIE: That's not good.
PIPER: No, she's fine. She's with a Cupid. Only God knows what they're doing. WHITE FLASH TO:
[EXT. UNIVERSITY CAMPUS -- DAY]
(CLOSE-UP: The campus activity board is cluttered with posters and
announcements.) (Phoebe and Coop flash in. Coop looks around. Phoebe recognizes the place immediately.)
COOP: So where's this?
PHOEBE: Where Cole and I first met.
INSERT: CLIP #4 [Scene from 3X01: The Honeymoon's Over] (Phoebe peers around the board and sees Past Phoebe walking down the path. Cole rushes up behind her trying to catch up with her.)
(Cole taps her on her shoulder.)
(Past Phoebe whirls around ...
PAST PHOEBE: Hi-ya..!
(And tries to kick him. Cole catches her leg by her ankle.)
PAST PHOEBE: Oh-- oh.
(Cole chuckles. Past Phoebe's aghast.)
PAST PHOEBE: Cole!
(He still has a hold on her ankle.)
PAST COLE: (chuckles) Hi. How's it going?
PAST PHOEBE: Oh-
(She laughs.)
(Peering behind the announcements board, Coop smiles. Phoebe doesn't smile.)
COOP: Ah. The cute meet.
PHOEBE: Yeah, but he was just setting me up.
(In front of them, the scene unfolds.)
PAST PHOEBE: Wow. Is this embarrassing.
(She looks at Cole's hold on her ankle.)
PAST PHOEBE: Uh-- I-- I'm-
PAST COLE: It's okay. I'm okay. Ha.
PAST PHOEBE: Oh, um--
PAST COLE: Nice calve.
PAST PHOEBE: Oh. Thanks. Can I have it back?
PAST COLE: Sure. Sure.
(Cole let's go of her calf.)
PAST PHOEBE: Okay.
(Coop smiles.)
COOP: Still, I can tell you were attracted to him, and him to you.
PHOEBE: Just another demon.
COOP: Oh, come on, Phoebe. It couldn't have been "just" another demon, you
married the guy. You had to have at least loved him.
PHOEBE: (nods) I did.
COOP: So what happened?
PHOEBE: Same thing that always happens.
(She looks at Cole who is smiling at her younger self.)
(Phoebe looks away. She's ready to go.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. DOPPLE MANOR - MAIN HALL / SITTING ROOM - NIGHT - PAST (AU)]
(Coop and Phoebe flash into the alternate universe manor. From the next room, they hear voices.)
INSERT CLIP #5
[Scene from 5X12: Centennial Charmed]
PAST PAIGE: (o.s.) Phoebe, are you crazy? Throw it before he shimmers out.
(Phoebe rushes forward and ducks up against the wall to see the scene unfold in front of them.)
PAST COLE: (o.s.) Here we go. She's not gonna throw it. Are you?
PAST PAIGE: (o.s.) Throw the potion.
PAST COLE: We've been through so much together. Haven't we? Our love's so strong, nothing can destroy it, not even ... this. We're meant to be together.
PAST PHOEBE: I don't think so. (Past Phoebe throws the vial at Cole with all her strength. The potion hits Cole and he immediately bursts into flames. He yells out in pain as the flames consume him. Cole explodes.)
(Coop pulls Phoebe to him, protecting her from the blast.)
PHOEBE: Seen enough?
COOP: (nods) To understand the block, yeah - (He takes her hands in his.)
But now I need to show you why they say that it's better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all.
(They flash out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY -- DAY]
(Piper is placing crystals along the Conservatory windows.)
PIPER: I just knew something terrible like this was going to happen.
(Billie is also placing crystals along the windows.)
BILLIE: Well, you know, I don't think Leo knew the demons would escape.
PIPER: It's just I feel like there was so much about his life that I didn't know,
his past life, this life and it's bad enough that my kids don't have a dad --
BILLIE: It's gonna be okay. Come on. You have powers, I have powers, the boys are safe. We can handle this, don't worry.
(Paige orbs in carrying a tropical drink with a little umbrella in it.)
PAIGE: Hello! Oh, don't worry, it's virgin.
PIPER: Paige, what are you doing here?
PAIGE: You know, I just had some time in my sparse schedule and I thought
I'd kinda come by and check on things, 'cause I missed you guys a little bit, maybe -- why are there crystals kinda of, uh ... around?
PIPER: Crystals? Uh -- Hm.
BILLIE: It's, you know. It's nothing, it's just to make sure we don't have any trouble.
PAIGE: Are you expecting trouble?
BILLIE: Nope.
PIPER: Not at all.
(Paige suspects they're lying.)
BILLIE: No. No, it's just precaution. You know, while you're on your
honeymoon.
PIPER: Hey, how's that going?
PAIGE: It's fantastic.
PIPER: Good, good, good. You should get back to it. Go, you know? Go see your husband.
PAIGE: Golly. Whoo. "Husband," that sounds weird. You're right. Bye, guys.
(Paige orbs out.)
(Piper sighs heavily.)
PIPER: Back to our demons.
WHITE FLASH TO:
[INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE -- DAY]
(Rondok and Pator talk.)
RONDOK: I know we can do this, Pator. Just like I knew the students would
lead us to Leo.
PATOR: But to go back so soon -- his wife's The Charmed One. And the vanquishes are excruciating.
(Rondok puts a hand on Pator's shoulder.)
RONDOK: Still, even she can't make them last, otherwise she would've.
Attacking again is the only way to draw Leo out for our ultimate revenge.
CANDOR (TRIAD): (o.s.) Unfortunately, it is a revenge beyond your reach.
(They turn and see Candor standing there.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): You don't have the power to destroy a Charmed one. Uh,
not without my help.
RONDOK: So now you're willing to help us?
CANDOR (TRIAD): If you first help me remove a small ... obstacle to my goals. One that even you can handle, I assure you. Then we all get what we want. Interested?
(Pator looks at Rondok who considers the offer.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(COMMERCIAL SET)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY]
(BAM! A smoke cloud plumes from the potions pot after Billie tosses something inside it. Billie shrieks and pulls back.)
BILLIE: Whoo!
(She swooshes the smoke away with her hand.)
(Piper is going through papers from a file box.)
PIPER: You all right?
BILLIE: Yeah. You know, I figured if we can't vanquish them, we might as well
give them something to think about. Unless maybe you found something.
PIPER: No ... just Magic School memos, course studies, field trips Leo was planning. (reflective) I guess I should've asked him how his day was more often.
BILLIE: Well, you guys have busy lives.
PIPER: Yeah, but at least if we had talked a little bit more I might be closer to finding the solution for this.
(Ryan and Jen step into the attic.)
RYAN & JEN: (amped) We've got a solution.
PIPER: To what?
JEN: Vanquishing the Noxons once and for all.
RYAN: (proud) We used the astral plane.
BILLIE: Wait. The astral what?
RYAN: Astral plane. According to Leo, in the astral plane time stops.
JEN: Which means anyone transported there can't move forward in time.
PIPER: Mm-hm. What does that have to do with the Noxons?
RYAN: If we vanquish them and send them to the astral plane before they can
regenerate they'll be trapped there, forever --
JEN: -- in perpetual vanquish.
PIPER: Okay, but we can't even get close enough to them to send them anywhere.
JEN: We could if they were distracted.
PIPER: By what?
RYAN: By what they've been after.
PIPER: You guys wanna use yourselves as bait?
RYAN: Leo always said to use our powers for good. Well, we wanna use them to stop these demons.
PIPER: Look, I understand the enthusiasm. Really, I do. But I can't risk it.
RYAN: Why not? We're the ones willing to take the risk.
PIPER: I don't think Leo would want you to do that.
RYAN: Well, I think he would.
PIPER: Well, you don't know that.
RYAN: And you do?
(It's a stand-off. Piper's not backing down. She turns and looks away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. GOLDEN PARK BUILDING (STOCK) - DAY]
PHOEBE: (v.o.) Okay, you know what? I don't wanna do this anymore.
[INT. PHOEBE'S LOFT - DAY]
(Phoebe's had enough.)
COOP: Wait, there's something else.
PHOEBE: What?
COOP: Well, the way all of your relationships have ended, I'm surprised your
block's not as big as a house.
PHOEBE: Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Thank you.
COOP: But what about they all started?
PHOEBE: ... What?
COOP: Oh, come on. The way that love begins. You know, when your eyes meet from across the room, for the first time, and you see each other and everything is just right. And you know, there's that moment, there's the ... the spark!
PHOEBE: I have no idea what you're talking about.
COOP: (chuckles) Yeah. No, that's my point. With everything that's happened to you and that is what you've forgotten.
(He moves around her and puts a hand on her shoulder.)
COOP: And that is what you need to remember.
(With his other hand, he makes a fist. His Cupid's ring glows and he opens his hand. A light appears where he shows her another memory from her past.)
INSERT: CLIPS #6
[Scene from 5X16: Baby's First Demon]
[INT. BAY MIRROR - BULLPEN - DAY (HOLOGRAM)]
(Past Phoebe is handing out pictures of her nephew.)
PAST PHOEBE: You are looking at 6 lbs, 8 oz of pure deliciousness.
(Jason Dean steps forward to look at the photos.)
JASON DEAN: How old is he?
PAST PHOEBE: Three weeks today.
JASON DEAN: You look pretty good for a woman who had a baby three weeks
ago.
(Introduces himself.)
JASON DEAN: Jason Dean.
(Coop looks at Phoebe.)
COOP: Spark ...
[Scene from 6X06: My Three Witches]
[INT. THE BAY MIRROR - JASON'S OFFICE - NIGHT (HOLOGRAM)]
(Phoebe sits on Jason's lap, her arms around him.)
PAST PHOEBE: You've got me, Jason Dean. I'm yours.
(And they kiss.)
(The image fades.)
(Coop smiles.)
COOP: Remember that one?
[Scene from 7X01: A Call to Arms]
[INT. THE BAY MIRROR - PHOEBE'S OFFICE - DAY (HOLOGRAM)]
(Leslie St. Claire looks up from the desk and smiles.)
PAST LESLIE ST. CLAIRE: (to the phone) I, uh -- I'd better call you back. (to
Phoebe) Hi ... I hope it's okay. I just wanted to get started.
PAST PHOEBE: (to Elise) Leslie?
PAST ELISE ROTHMAN: Surprise!
(He holds out his hand.)
PAST LESLIE ST. CLAIRE: You can call me "Les."
(Past Phoebe reaches over and clasps his hand.)
(She feels it.)
(She jerks her hand out from his and looks up at the ceiling as she backs away from him.)
PAST PHOEBE: Oh! Not again. (Coop watches Phoebe carefully. Phoebe starts to smile as she shakes her head.)
[Scene from 7X14: Carpe Demon]
[INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL - DAY (HOLOGRAM)]
(Dressed like a '50's musical, Drake and Past Phoebe dance.)
BACK TO SCENE.
(As they dance in the hologram, Coop and Phoebe watch.)
PHOEBE: Enough ... enough.
(Coop closes the hologram.)
(Phoebe sighs.)
COOP: All right. Don't you see? Phoebe, it's - (He turns her around to face
him.) It's about the way love begins when it's -- when it's uncensored. Unmatched when it's pure. And that's what you need to believe in. (He tries again. He wiggles his fingers and holds out his hand over her heart. His cupid's ring glows and a golden shimmer spreads over her.)
(This time, the shimmer bursts through Phoebe's block. They both laugh.)
PHOEBE: Is it gone?
COOP: Oh, yeah. You're ready.
PHOEBE: For what?
COOP: To begin again.
(Phoebe sighs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY -- DAY]
(Helen, Carl and Christy Jenkins walk through the hallway on their way to the room.)
CHRISTY: Well it looks like you've done well for yourself, huh, dad?
CARL JENKINS: Yeah. But I would've traded it all for you in a second. Know that.
CHRISTY: I know.
CARL JENKINS: Well, I'd better go down and settle the bill. I'll be right back.
(He kisses Christy on her forehead and leaves.)
[INT. HOTEL - ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(The door opens. Helen and Christy enter the hotel room. Helen closes the door. She's really happy.)
HELEN JENKINS: Well -- Oh, I just don't want this to end. You know, maybe next time you and Billie can come back home. Huh?
CHRISTY: Yeah, maybe. There's just a few things we have to deal with first. But it'd be nice.
HELEN JENKINS: Honey, are you sure everything's okay? After what happened in the park, I'm just --
CHRISTY: Yeah, everything is fine. There's just some things that I have to shake from my past. But I will.
HELEN JENKINS: Yes. You will.
(She chuckles.)
(Christy's cell phone rings. Helen looks at Christy's cell phone.)
HELEN JENKINS: Whoop!
(Christy answers the call.)
CHRISTY: (to phone) Hello?
PIPER'S VOICE: (from phone) Christy, it's Piper. Billy needs you here right
away.
CHRISTY: (to phone) Why, what's wrong?
PIPER'S VOICE: (from phone) I'll explain when you get here. Hurry.
HELEN JENKINS: Is everything okay?
(Christy hangs up and heads for the door.)
CHRISTY: I don't know. I gotta go.
HELEN JENKINS: Wait!
(Christy opens the door.)
HELEN JENKINS: Christy --
CHRISTY: I gotta go.
(She slips out of the room.)
HELEN JENKINS: Wait! Uh --
(Christy doesn't looks back. She's gone leaving Helen just outside the door.)
HELEN JENKINS: (calls out) I love you ...
(Helen heads back into the room and sighs. She closes the door.)
[INT. HOTEL - HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(The door closes.)
(Rondok and Pator shimmer into the hallway just outside the closed hotel room door.)
(They look at each other.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - PIPER'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT]
(Piper is on the bed going through the fileboxes. Papers, files and folders are spread out around her.)
PIPER: (to herself) Ugh. Leo, what am I supposed to do? I can't let these kids risk their lives, but I'm running out of options. And if I do let them do this how am I supposed to know if it's gonna work anyway?
WYATT: (o.s.) Let them try.
(Piper turns and sees Wyatt standing in the doorway.)
WYATT: Daddy would.
(Piper smiles and moves off the bed toward her son.)
[INT. MANOR - STAIRS -- NIGHT]
(Piper comes down the stairs with Wyatt in her arms. Ryan and Jen are sitting on the couch. Jen is holding Baby Chris.)
PIPER: Okay -
(They turn and look at her.)
PIPER: We do it your way.
(Just then, the doorbell rings.)
BILLIE: Yo!
(Billie rushes down the stairs.)
BILLIE: I got it! I got it.
(She heads for the door and opens it. Christy steps into the house.)
CHRISTY: Billie, are you okay?
BILLIE: Yeah. What are you doing here?
CHRISTY: Piper called me. (She looks past Billie at Piper.) You said that you
needed me.
PIPER: No ... I didn't.
CHRISTY: Yeah, you did. You called me on the phone, you told me that you --
(Christy stops as Piper's confused expression sinks in.)
BILLIE: Christy, what's going on?
(A horrifying thought occurs to Christy.)
CHRISTY: Oh, my god. Mom and dad. Come on, let's go.
(She and Billie leave.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HOTEL -- NIGHT]
(The door opens. Carl walks in, his eyes on the paper in his hand.)
CARL JENKINS: Okay, we're all set.
(He stops and sees Pator leaning over Helen's dead body. Pator gets to his feet.)
(The hotel room door closes. Rondok is standing behind the door.)
(Carl turns around. Camera holds on his look of fear.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(COMMERCIAL SET)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HOTEL -- NIGHT]
(The door opens. Christy enters first.)
CHRISTY: Mom? Dad.
(Billie pushes past Christy and sees Helen and Carl on the floor, dead.)
BILLIE: Oh, god. Oh, my god. Oh, no.
(She rushes over to check on Carl and on Helen.)
BILLIE: No - No --
(She falls to her knees. Christy is frozen in place.)
BILLIE: Who'd -- ? Who did this? (shouts) Who would do something like this?
CHRISTY: Billie, come on.
BILLIE: No.
CHRISTY: Billie, we gotta get outta here.
(Billie starts to cry. Christy rushes over to her and gets Billie to her feet.)
CHRISTY: Okay. Okay, come on. Oh, Billie.
(She takes Billie out into the hallway.)
BILLIE: We have to do something. We have to call the police.
CHRISTY: No, you have to go to your dorm and you have to wait for me.
BILLIE: What?
CHRISTY: (firmly) Listen to me! The manor's being targeted by demons. And
I can't risk losing you too.
BILLIE: But, I --
CHRISTY: No! I know what I'm talking about, okay? Trust me. Just go.
BILLIE: But where are you gonna go?
CHRISTY: (resolved) I'm gonna figure out who did this.
(Christy turns and leaves. Billie takes a breath.)
WHITE FLASH TO:
[INT. ABANDONED WAREHOUSE - NIGHT]
(Pator and Rondok talk.)
PATOR: Let it go, brother.
RONDOK: I can't.
PATOR: Why not? We've served the Triad. When evil reclaims the world we'll
be rewarded.
RONDOK: Then let the reward be killing Leo and his students now.
PATOR: No. It's over. The Triad --
RONDOK: Forget the Triad!
(Rondok looks at Pator.)
RONDOK: How can you just walk away?
PATOR: Because it's the only thing to do.
RONDOK: Maybe for you. Will have my revenge.
(Rondok stands up and leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MANOR - LIVING ROOM / FOYER - NIGHT]
(Piper hands out the potions vials to Ryan and Jen.)
PIPER: You guys are sure you're ready for this?
RYAN: We won't know until we try.
JEN: Leo taught us well.
PIPER: Okay. Here's hoping.
(Ryan and Jen take up positions in the room.)
(Ryan looks at Jen and sighs.)
RYAN: Let's do this.
(Piper picks up the nearest crystal. It glows for a moment as the protection grid is broken. The shield protecting the kids is removed.)
(It's quiet for a moment as everyone is on guard.)
(Rondok shimmers into the room behind Ryan.)
(Ryan turns and sees him.)
RYAN: There he is!
(He backs away, runs and dives as Rondok throws the first fireball at Ryan. He misses and hits the lamp inside.) (He throws a second fireball at Piper, clipping her in the shoulder and knocking her down the hallway floor.)
(Jen throws a potions vial at Rondok, hitting him square in the chest.)
(Rondok is on fire.)
(Piper gets up and watches.)
(The potion is working, but Rondok is going through the vanquish.)
(Ryan holds out his hand. Jen grabs it and pulls Ryan to his feet.)
(Rondok starts to laugh as he begins to regenerate.)
PIPER: Now!
(Jen and Ryan recite the spell.)
RYAN & JEN: (both)
Demon of fire, demon of pain. We banish you to the astral plane.
ON: RONDOK
(Mid-regeneration, Rondok glows white and vanishes, but not before he realizes that he hasn't completely healed.)
(He screams.)
RONDOK: Nooooo!
(The white light grows brighter, then it snuffs out, causing a ripple in the air in front of them.)
(Jen and Ryan can't believe they did it.)
(Piper looks at her injured shoulder and groans.)
PIPER: Oh.
(They rush over to Piper to check on her.)
JEN: Piper -
RYAN: Are you okay?
PIPER: Oh, yeah. I've been worse, I've been worse. It's all right. (Piper tucks
her legs under her as she sits on the floor.) I guess that was a pretty good plan after all.
RYAN: Yeah? You think so?
PIPER: I do. I think Leo would too. All right.
(She starts to get up. Ryan and Jen help her.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. VARIOUS SAN FRANCISCO CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT TO DAY]
[EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. MANOR - SITTING ROOM - DAY]
(Paige runs her healing hand over Piper's injury and heals her. When she finishes, she pushes Piper's shoulder hard.)
PIPER: Ow!
PIPER: Okay, since when does healing hurt?
PAIGE: Since you all lied to me.
PIPER: Well, because I did, you had a demon free honeymoon for at least one day.
PAIGE: Thank you, but even still, you should not have done that alone.
PIPER: I wasn't alone, I had Billie and I had some students that weren't too shabby and I had Leo.
PAIGE: I'm sorry, did you just say Leo?
PIPER: It's a long story.
PAIGE: Well, Henry's off scuba-diving, you know. He's got a full tank of oxygen. I've got time.
PIPER: It's nothing, really. I just felt his presence a little. That's all. (mouths softly) It's nothing.
(The front door opens and Phoebe walks in with her keys in hand.)
PHOEBE: Hello!
PAIGE: Hey, found your keys.
PHOEBE: Yeah. Actually, that's not all I found.
PIPER: Let me guess. Cupid's arrow.
PHOEBE: Sort of, yeah.
(She finally gets a good look at the place.)
PHOEBE: Hey! What happened in here? (to Paige) Why are you back? (with
hands on hips) What did I miss? (She looks at her sisters. Paige rolls her eyes innocently, and Piper looks guiltily away.) WHITE FLASH TO:
[INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY - NIGHT]]
(With his back to the door, Candor is meditating - his hands are held palm-up away from his body, his eyes closed.)
(Christy walks into the room seething angry.)
CHRISTY: Piper didn't call me. It was you, wasn't it?
(Candor opens his eyes, his back is still to Christy.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): I did what was necessary.
CHRISTY: They were my parents!
(He turns around and looks at her.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): They were distracting you from taking the final step. Now,
thanks to me, they no longer are.
CHRISTY: b*st*rd!
(Christy steps forward and sinks her hand clear through Candor's chest.)
(Candor cries out.)
(Christy is killing him.)
(He coughs and looks at her.)
CANDOR (TRIAD): Congratulations. You just passed ... the final ... test.
(Fire consumes Candor. He explodes.)
(Christy is left standing alone in the study.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
TITLE/OPENING CREDITS
[SCENE_BREAK]
TRANSCRIBED FROM WB
Starring: ALYSSA MILANO as Phoebe Halliwell ROSE McGOWAN as Paige Matthews and HOLLY MARIE COMBS as "Piper" KALEY CUOCO as Billie Jenkins Created by CONSTANCE M. BURGE Guest Starring MARNETTE PATTERSON as Christy BARBARA NIVEN as Helen Jenkins DAVID STARZYK as Carl Henkins LELAND CROOKE as Candor (Triad) KIMBERLEE PETERSON as Jen JOHN ROSENFELD as Pator DAVID S. LEE as and VICTOR WEBSTER as Coop
Editor: PAUL FONTAINE
Production Designer: PAUL STAHELI
Directory of Photography: JONATHAN WEST, ASC
Consulting Producer: JONATHAN LEVIN
Co-Producer: CAMERON LITVACK
Producer: PETER CHOMSKY
Producer: HOLLY MARIE COMBS
Producer: ALYSSA MILANO
Supervising Producer: JEANNINE RENSHAW
Supervising Producer: ROB WRIGHT
Co-Executive Producer: JAMES L. CONWAY
Produced By: JON PARE
[SCENE_BREAK]
Executive Producer: BRAD KERN
Executive Producer: AARON SPELLING
Executive Producer: E. DUKE VINCENT
Spelling Television Inc., A CBS Company
Executive Story Editor: LIZ SEGAL
Associate Producer: LARRY GOLDSTEIN Co Starring: KRISTOPHER SIMMONS as Wyatt #1 JAOSN SIMMONS as Wyatt #2 Appearing in Clip Footage: ERIC DANE as Jason Dean NICK LACHEY as Leslie St. Clair JULIAN MCMAHON as Cole Turner BILLY ZANE as Drake Appearing in Clip Footage: MONICA ALLGEIER as Julie Bennet REBECCA BALDING as Elise Rothman TYLER CHRISTOPHER as Anton JASON LEWIS as Dex Lawson
Music By: JAY GRUSKA
Casting by: KIMBERLY LANSE FOSTER Original Casting by VICTORIA HUFF, C.S.A.
Unit Production Manager: JON PARE
First Assistant Director: DEREK JOHANSEN
Second Assistant Director: VINCENT GONZALES
Costume Designer: DANIELA GSCHWENDTNER
Camera Operator: KRIS KROSSKOVE
1st Assistant Camera: HAL ARNOLD
Chief Lighting Technician: DON LEHMAN
Asst. Chief Lighting Technician: COOPER DONALDSON
Set Designer: ROLAND HILL
Set Decorator: ROBINSON ROYCE, S.D.S.A.
Leadperson: MICHAEL ZUFELT
Property Master: ROGER MONTESANO
Assistant Property Master: SCOTT COCKERELL
Script Supervisor: NANCY SOLOMAN
Costume Supervisor: CHIC GENNARELLI
Dept. Head Key Make-Up Artist: NANETTE NEW
Key Make-up artist: ANI MALONEY
Key Make-Up Artist: BRET MARDOCK
Dept. Head Key Hairstylist: AUDREY FUTTERMAN-STERN
Key Hairstylist: BRANDON WAGGONER
Sound Mixer: BRETT GRANT-GRIERSON
Transportation Coordinator: MARTIN COBLENZ
Production Coordinator: RICK NAPOLI
Production Accountant: BRYAN MACDONALD
Script Coordinator: SCOTT LIPSEY
First Company Grip: STEVE GAUSCHE
2nd Company Grip: TOM HAM
Construction Coordinator: STAR FIELDS
Stunt Coordinator: NOON ORSATTI
Special Effects Coordinator: RANDY CABRAL
Special Effects Shop Coordinator: VINNIE BORGESE
Visual Effects Supervisor: STEPHEN LEBED
Casting Associate: KAREN P. MORRIS
Assistant to Brad Kern: ANDREA CONWAY
Assistant to Jon Pare: JENNIFER REES
Assistant to the Writers: RICK MULRRAGUL
Technical Advisor: JOHN RICHARD TODD
Assistant Editor: GREGORY BARNA
Music Editor: NINO CENTURION
Supervising Sound Editor: JEFF CLARK
Music Coordinator: CELEST RAY
Re-Recording Mixers: JOSH SCHNEIDER / BRUCE MICHAELS Film and Electronic Laboratory (tm) by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA, a Kodak company Lenses and Panaflex(R) Camera by PANAVISION(R) Digital Sound Editing and Mixing by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA, a Kodak company Digital Visual Effects by ENCORE VIDEO
Executive in Charge of Production: GAIL M. PATTERSON
Executive in Charge of Post-Production: KENNETH MILLER This motion picture is protected under the laws of the United States and other countries. Any unauthorized duplication, copying, distribution, exhibition or use may result in civil liability and or criminal prosecution. The places and characters depicted herein are entirely fictitious, and any similarity to any real places or people is purely coincidental. (c) 2006 by Spelling Television Inc., A CBS company. All rights reserved.
Country of First Publication: United States of America Spelling Television Inc., is the author of this film / motion picture for the purpose of Article 15(2) of the Berne Convention and all National Laws giving effect thereto. TheWB.com Dated:06/22/2006
|
Plan: A: the manor; Q: Where do the former students of Leo's go to inform the Charmed Ones? A: One; Q: How many demons were vanquished? A: the Magic School dungeons; Q: Where were the demons imprisoned? A: revenge; Q: What are the demons seeking? A: Christy; Q: Who tries to get Billie away from the sisters? A: Paige; Q: Who goes on her honeymoon? A: Coop; Q: Who continues to follow Phoebe? A: the demons; Q: Who escaped from the Magic School dungeons? A: Piper; Q: Who vanquishes one of the demons? A: the Astral Plane; Q: Where was one of the demons sent? A: the two demons; Q: Who kills Billie and Christy's parents? A: Triad; Q: What is the name of the group that Candor is the last remaining member of? A: her final test; Q: What does Candor claim Christy passed? Summary: Two former students of Leo's from Magic School turn up at the manor to inform the Charmed Ones that demons that Leo had imprisoned in the Magic School dungeons have escaped and are seeking revenge. Christy tries to get Billie away from the sisters, and Billie wants Christy to reunite with her parents. Paige goes on her honeymoon, and Coop continues to follow Phoebe. One of the demons is eventually vanquished by Piper and the students sending him to the Astral Plane in a perpetual vanquish, but beforehand, the two demons kill Billie and Christy's parents under orders from Candor, the last remaining member of the Triad. In retaliation, Christy vanquishes him, but he claims that by doing so she passed her final test.
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[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
Phoebe: What am I sitting on?
Chandler: Top of the world? Dock of the bay? (He tries to think of another but can't) I'm out.
Phoebe: (taking something out of the couch) Ew-eww!! Undies!
(She throws them into the kitchen and Rachel picks them up with the handle of a large spoon. Chandler and Monica have horrified looks on their faces.)
Rachel: All right! Who's are they? Who's are they?
Ross: Well, they're not mine!
Chandler: Well, they're Joey's! They gotta be Joey's!
(Rachel turns and stares at him.)
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Chandler: See? They're Joey's! J-J-J-J-J-Joey's!
Ross: Why are they here?
Joey: I don't know uhh... (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
Chandler: Yeah!
Monica: Yeah!
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)
[Cut to the guy's apartment.]
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Monica: (inspecting his leg) Wow! And around the ankles, y'know that is a tough spot.
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't...
Chandler: (interrupting him) All this lying has been hard on us too.
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the s*x makes it easier!
Chandler: Well, yeah actually.
Monica: We'll try to be more careful okay? It's just that, we don't want everyone to know because this is going really well, and maybe the reason it's going really well is because it's a secret.
Chandler: I know it sounds really weird, but we're just so bad at relationships.
Monica: We are! Help us!
Chandler: Help!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Didn't think so.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Monica: Hey, Phoebe!
Chandler: Hi, Pheebs!
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: What are you reading?
Phoebe: Umm, Wethering Heights. I'm taking a literature class at the New School and I have to finish it for the first session tomorrow.
Chandler: I didn't know you were taking a class. That is so cool.
Phoebe: Yeah! Well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! Y'know and this time I thought I'd go for something, y'know a little more intellectual, with a less painful final exam.
Rachel: Honey that sounds like fun.
Phoebe: Yeah! Ooh, you should come with me! Oh yeah, then I'd have someone to sit with!
Rachel: Okay.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay-ooh, but are you going to have time to read it?
Rachel: Oh, I read that in high school.
Phoebe: This is going to be so much fun! Okay-shhh, I have to finish.
Ross: (entering, depressed) Hi.
Joey: What's wrong buddy?
Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich. I can't believe someone ate it!
Chandler: Ross, it's just a sandwich!
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
(Shows the note to Chandler who reads it aloud.)
Chandler: (reading) Knock-knock. Who's there? Ross Geller's lunch. Ross Geller's lunch, who? Ross Geller's lunch, please don't take me. Okay?
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Phoebe: Okay, look you wanna hold onto your food? You gotta scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Ross: Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"
Chandler: Say Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
All: Whoa! Ohh!!
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Monica: Phoebe?
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
[Scene: Phoebe's class, the class has already started and Rachel walks in late.]
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Sorry I'm late, but I left late.
Phoebe: Okay.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what is the book about?
Phoebe: I thought you said you read it in high school.
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anyway-umm, what is this book about?
Phoebe: Okay, umm, it's this tragic love story between Cathy and Heathcliff and umm, it takes place on like these really creepy mores in England. Which I think represents the wildness of Heathcliff's character. I totally get symbolism.
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
Rachel: Umm, well I would have to say that it's a, it's tragic love story.
The Teacher: Well, that's sort of a given, but yes. Anyone else?
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
The Teacher: Excellent! What Rachel has shrewdly observed here...
Phoebe: (To Rachel) You completely stole my answer!
Rachel: Well, honey that was pretty obvious.
Phoebe: Well how would you know?! You didn't even read it!
The Teacher: What do you think? You in the blue shirt.
Phoebe: I think that uh, yours is a question with many answers.
The Teacher: Would ya care to venture one?
Phoebe: Would you care to venture one?
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
Phoebe: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
The Teacher: All right, let's move on.
Phoebe: Okay then.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel return from the class.]
Phoebe: Yeah but why didn't you just say that you didn't read the book?!
Rachel: Be-because I didn't want him to think I was stupid! I mean, that was really embarrassing what happened to you!
Ross: (entering) Phoebe!
Phoebe: Yeah?
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Cynthia: God, this was really fun! I've been wondering if you were going to ask me out.
Joey: So you uh, still wondering?
Cynthia: No, we just went out.
Joey: You're smart. I like that.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Cynthia: Oh, candles! (Notices something.) What is that? A blanket? A video camera? Oh my God! (As she storms out, Rachel returns and overhears the conversation.)
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!!
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having s*x on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Joey: Hiya.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said umm-Oh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna... (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
Chandler: What is going on here?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Monica: We're so sorry.
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Chandler: Oh-I don't know.
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
[Scene: The Museum of Prehistoric History (Ross's work); Ross is in the break room eating lunch as his boss, Dr. Leedbetter walks in.]
Dr. Leedbetter: Umm, Ross. May I have a word with you?
Ross: Yeah, of course, Donald.
Dr. Leedbetter: We've been getting reports of some very angry behavior on your part.
Ross: What?!
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.
Ross: (Proudly) Yeah.
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Ross: Oh no, you-you don't understand. Ugh, this is so silly. Umm, this is all because of a sandwich.
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here...
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
Ross: What?
Dr. Leedbetter: I-I'm sorry. I, I-I-I believe I ate that.
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Ross: (getting upset) Oh-oh really? Did you confuse it with your own turkey sandwich with a Moist Maker?
Dr. Leedbetter: No.
Ross: Do you perhaps seeing a note on top of it?
Dr. Leedbetter: There may have been a-a joke or a limerick of some kind.
Ross: (getting angry) That said it was my sandwich?!
Dr. Leedbetter: Now-now calm down. Come look in my office, some of it my still be in the trash.
Ross: (jumping to his feet in anger) What?
Dr. Leedbetter: Well, it was quite large. I-I-I-I-I had to throw most of it away.
Ross: You-you-you-you (trying to remain in control) threw my sandwich away!
[Cut to an outside shot of the museum.]
Ross: (losing control, we hear him shout outside) MY SANDWICH?!!!
[Cut to a shot of a park.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachel's class; Rachel walks in, on time this time.]
Rachel: Hi!
Phoebe: Hi!
Rachel: (sitting down) So umm, what's this book about?
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Rachel: Well, I was gonna, but I accidentally read something else.
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: Vogue! Hey, so tell me about this Jane Eyre woman.
Phoebe: No! You should've read it yourself!
Rachel: Come on Phoebe! Don't be such a goodie-goodie!
Phoebe: Fine! Okay, all right, so Jane Eyre, first of all, you'd think she's a woman, but she's not. She's a cyborg.
Rachel: A cyborg?! Isn't that like a robot?!
Phoebe: Yeah, this book was light years ahead of its time.
The Teacher: (entering) Sorry I'm late. Let's get started. So, what did everybody think about Jane Eyre?
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
The Teacher: Well, go ahead Rachel.
Rachel: Uh, thank you Phoebe. Umm, well, what struck me most when reading Jane Eyre was uh, how the book was so ahead of its time.
The Teacher: If you're talking about feminism, I think you're right.
Rachel: Yeah, well, feminism yes, but also the robots.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Chandler: Hey.
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Chandler: (gasps) You're naked in this picture!
Monica: I know.
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
Chandler: Ross?
Ross: (in a stupor) Hey Chandler. (Sees Monica.) Monica!
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Ross: I'm fine! I saw a psychiatrist at work today.
Monica: Why?!
Ross: On account of my rage.
Chandler: Which I may say, right now, is out of control.
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Monica: A pill?
Ross: Uh-huh. Well, when the psychiatrist told me I had to take a leave of absence because I yelled at my boss I started to get worked up again, so he offered me a tranquilizer. And I thought was a good idea so, I took it.
Monica: Wait a minute, they're making you take time off work?
Chandler: And you're okay with that?
Ross: I don't know. It's going to be weird not having a job for a while, but I, I definitely don't care about my sandwich.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Phoebe are returning from class.]
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Phoebe: (smiling) I'm sorry. It was just so funny when you started comparing Jane Eyre to Robocop.
Rachel: That was not funny!
Phoebe: Well, I snapped! Okay? You weren't taking the class seriously.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on! What is the big deal? I thought this was going to be something we could do together! Y'know, I thought it would be fun!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
[Scene: The Class; Monica has taken Rachel's spot.]
Monica: (yelling and waving her hand in the air) I know! I know! I know!
The Teacher: Monica, you asked the question.
(She sits back defeated, and Phoebe groans with disgust.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Rachel: (sees the picture) Oh my God! That's Monica!!
Joey: Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Rachel: You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!!
Ross: (entering, with the rest of the gang) What's going on?
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
Chandler: (Sees the picture) Oh no! No! No! No! (Monica gasps as well.)
Rachel: Yes! He has a naked picture of Monica! He takes naked pictures of us! And then he eats chicken and looks at them!
(Ross stares in shock at him as he angrily puts down the chicken and takes off his coat.)
Rachel: Look! (Shows Ross the picture.)
Ross: (covering his eyes) Dude! That's my sister! (She shows the rest of the gang.)
Monica: (grabbing the picture) Give me that!
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just... I just... Kinda...
Chandler: All right, look! Look. I think I can explain this.
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: Thank you!
Chandler: Joey's a s*x addict.
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Monica: It's okay! It's good! It's good. It's a disease!
Joey: No! No! I am not a s*x addict!
Monica: Yes you are! That's the only way to explain all this stuff!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Rachel: Well, what is the truth?
Ross: Yeah, what's going on?
Phoebe: What's going on?
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Chandler: Well let's....let's see what everybody thinks of that?
Monica: Oh no!
Ross: You slept with my sister?
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Ross: This is not good for my rage. (Takes another pill.)
Rachel: Monica, is this true?
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Monica: Yes it's true.
Rachel: Okay, but if it only happened that one time, how come we found your underwear in our apartment the other day?
Joey: Ahh-oy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Monica: I guess I wanted to keep it (Pause) as a souvenir.
Ross: My God Monica!!
Chandler: Are you sure Joe? Are you sure you're not just a s*x addict?
Joey: No! If anyone's a s*x addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Phoebe: So that's why she gave you a naked picture of herself.
Joey: That makes sense!
Rachel: And the video camera?
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Ross: Unbelievable! I mean you really kept Joey's underwear?! Why? Why would you do that?!
Monica: I'm Monica. I'm disgusting. I stalk guys and keep their underpants.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Ending Credits
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's class; the class has ended and Phoebe is talking to one of her classmates.]
Phoebe: I really thought you making a good point. I mean y'know, until you got cut off.
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Phoebe: I don't know! I didn't come with her!
Monica: (entering, happily) All right everybody! Everybody guess what? I just convinced Paul to give us a test next week!
All: A test?!!
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
|
Plan: A: Phoebe; Q: Who takes a literature course? A: Rachel; Q: Who does Phoebe regret bringing to her literature class? A: Monica; Q: Who does Joey claim to have slept with in London? A: Ross; Q: Who is forced to take time off from work to deal with his anger issues? A: his marriage; Q: What ends for Ross? A: a pervert; Q: What do the other friends think Joey is? Summary: Phoebe takes a literature course and regrets bringing Rachel, who does not take the class seriously. Joey tires of covering up Monica and Chandler's secret relationship. Ross is forced to take time off from work to deal with his anger issues after his marriage ends. Monica and Chandler silently beg Joey to maintain their secret after the other friends notice strange goings-on and think Joey is a pervert. Joey agrees but only by claiming that all the odd behavior is because he and Monica slept together in London, humiliating Monica.
|
5:15pm - 5:40pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: EXT. FOREST
(IAN goes pale.)
IAN: The fluid link...
SUSAN: You've lost it?
BARBARA: Ian, you can't have!
IAN: (Quietly.) No. The Daleks took it from me when they searched me. It's down there somewhere...in the city.
(BARBARA and SUSAN...)
(...look with horror at a furious DOCTOR.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: EXT. CITY
(The Dalek City sits in the valley.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. CITY. CONTROL ROOM
(Inside, three DALEKS wait in the darkened control room. The door slides open and another DALEK glides in and reports.)
SECOND DALEK: The drug has been duplicated.
FIRST DALEK: And the distribution?
SECOND DALEK: The drug is to be taken by sections of us, so work will not be interrupted.
FIRST DALEK: Have you processed the pictures?
(The SECOND DALEK turns towards the control panel.)
SECOND DALEK: Appearing now on frequency six.
(On the screen a grainy image appears. It shows the DOCTOR in the forest inspecting the Thal's history plates.)
SECOND DALEK: It is the elder prisoner.
FIRST DALEK: Show second picture.
(A second image of BARBARA and SUSAN tending ANTODUS' wounds appears.)
SECOND DALEK: The girl and the young woman. Is that the body of the fourth prisoner, the young man?
FIRST DALEK: If so, he has been injured.
SECOND DALEK: Show third picture.
(An third image of IAN conferring with ALYDON appears.)
SECOND DALEK: They have made contact with the Thals.
FIRST DALEK: It is logical that together they will attack us.
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: EXT. FOREST
(Within the Thal encampment, IAN and ALYDON, still in the position as seen on the DALEKS' scanner, have reached the end of a long and protracted discussion.)
ALYDON: No - and that is my final word.
(He walks away. An exasperated IAN stares after him and then walks over to BARBARA. SUSAN is attempting to climb a nearby tree.)
IAN: Be careful what you're doing up there, Susan.
SUSAN: Oh, it's all right, Mr. Chesterton, I'm quite safe.
(IAN sits down by BARBARA.)
IAN: It's no good. I've tried everything I know. They just won't risk a fight with the Daleks. The trouble is, I can't go too far.
BARBARA: What do you mean?
IAN: Well, why should they help us? Some of them are bound to get killed. What argument can you use to make a man sacrifice himself for you?
BARBARA: Ian, you don't seem to understand - we'll be prisoners here unless we can think of some way of getting that fluid link back from the Daleks.
IAN: I am quite well aware of that, Barbara...
BARBARA: You know very well they'll find a way out of their city.
IAN: I know
[SCENE_BREAK]
BARBARA: (Interrupting.) You know they will.
(SUSAN has climbed down from the tree and joins the arguing teachers.)
SUSAN: Well, they need metal to travel on...
BARBARA: Oh, they'll find a way. They're clever enough. They'll find us and kill us, you know that as well as I do.
IAN: Look, even supposing you're right, I will not ask the Thals to sacrifice themselves for us. I'm sorry Barbara, I just can't do it!
BARBARA: Ian, why can't you see...?
(A few feet away, the DOCTOR comes out of the TARDIS to be greeted by SUSAN.)
SUSAN: Any luck, Grandfather?
DOCTOR: Mmm?
SUSAN: Well, have you made another fluid link yet?
DOCTOR: No, I can't, my child, and I've looked through all...all my spares, and I've really discovered we do need some mercury.
SUSAN: Oh no...
DOCTOR: It's put us in a bit of a jam. I must get that fluid link back again.
(They cross over to IAN who is now alone.)
DOCTOR: I'm afraid my little trick has rather rebounded on me, hmm? What you might call "tempting providence", Chesserman.
(IAN smiles at the DOCTOR'S error.)
IAN: Well, don't worry about it now, Doctor, it's happened.
DOCTOR: Yes, well, at least you're not vindictive.
IAN: Well, I will be if you don't get my name right.
DOCTOR: (Lost in thought.) Hmm?
IAN: It's "Chesterton"!
DOCTOR: Yes... (Snaps.) Eh? Ah, I know that!
(BARBARA rejoins the group having heard this interchange.)
BARBARA: (Angrily.) How you two can stand there wasting time with small talk beats me.
DOCTOR: I can assure you young lady, I haven't been wasting my time. There's always a way.
SUSAN: (Admiringly.) You always think of something, Grandfather.
DOCTOR: Thank you, my dear. Your faith in me is something that I prize very highly. You all realise, of course, we cannot succeed against the Daleks alone?
BARBARA: Of course not.
DOCTOR: We have a ready made army here - the Thals. They're strong and they have one great advantage against the Daleks - they can move so much more quickly.
IAN: They have one great disadvantage - they have no arms or ammunition.
DOCTOR: Well, that's all right, young man. The mind will always triumph. With me to lead them, the Thals are bound to succeed!
SUSAN: But, Grandfather, we've been talking and arguing about this all morning. The Thals won't fight - they're against war.
DOCTOR: My dear child, this is no time for morals. They must fight for us.
IAN: Why?
DOCTOR: Oh, my dear young man, I do hope you're not going to be difficult.
BARBARA: The Doctor's right. Ian, can't you see? If only we can get the Thals to attack the city, we could beat the Daleks and get the link back.
DOCTOR: That's just common sense. (To BARBARA.) Young lady, I've been underestimating you!
IAN: I will not allow you to use the Thals to fight for us.
DOCTOR: Are you challenging me?
IAN: Yes, I am!
BARBARA: (Angrily.) Do I have any say in this?
IAN: Of course you do!
BARBARA: Well, I think the Doctor's right and I want to get out of here!
IAN: I am sorry, I'm not having anyone's death on my conscience.
BARBARA: Except mine, and Susan's, and the Doctor's?
DOCTOR: Quite so.
(IAN pauses as he thinks, then...)
IAN: The only way the Thals can fight is if they themselves want to. It must have nothing whatsoever to do with us.
SUSAN: I know what you mean. We must help the Thals to save themselves and not just them help us.
IAN: Exactly.
BARBARA: All you're doing is playing with words.
DOCTOR: We need action, not arguments.
(The DOCTOR and BARBARA lean against a rock, defiant in their attitude.)
IAN: Now listen, you two. What victory are you going to show these people when most of them have been killed, eh? A fluid link? Is this what you're going to hold up to them and say "Thank you very much, this is what you fought and died for"?
(The DOCTOR and BARBARA look at each other but neither answer.)
SUSAN: The thing is, can the Thals still fight?
IAN: Well that's what we've got to find out. Are they cowards, or are they just against fighting on principle?
BARBARA: Well, how can we find out?
IAN: Well, I've got an idea. But whatever I do, don't interfere. I'm not even sure that I'm right.
(He walks over to the TARDIS and picks up the large metal drum containing the Thals historical records. The others follow him.)
IAN: Well, let's see what happens.
(He leaves his companions and walks over to the Thals nearby.)
DOCTOR: Hmm! Strange young man.
SUSAN: He's right, though.
BARBARA: Yes, he is.
DOCTOR: Yes, we'll see.
(IAN has placed the drum on top of a rock near to ALYDON, and is addressing him and his people.)
IAN: ...perhaps self respect? At this moment, anyone could have come in here. They could rob, they could steal...
(Meanwhile, next to the TARDIS...)
DOCTOR: Let's see what he's up to.
(The DOCTOR, BARBARA and SUSAN walk over to IAN and the Thals.)
IAN:...they could even kill you, and you wouldn't lift a finger to help yourselves.
ALYDON: We will not fight. There will be no more wars. Look at our planet
(He looks around him at the dead trees.)
ALYDON: This was once a great world, full of ideas and art and invention. In one day, it was destroyed. And you will never find one good reason why we should ever begin destroying everything again. (To BARBARA.) I'm sorry.
IAN: (Enraged.) You're not sorry! You standing here mumbling a lot of words out of your history, but it means nothing - nothing at all!
(He indicates the drum.)
IAN: You carry this around with you - your history records.
(He picks it up.)
IAN: Well, it must be valuable to you. Supposing I take it down to the city and try and trade with the Daleks, eh?
(The Thals are visibly horrified at the thought. ALYDON glares at IAN.)
IAN: Perhaps they'd think it valuable enough to exchange for our fluid link.
(ALYDON walks up to IAN, moves to seize the drum, then checks himself with a smile.)
ALYDON: I don't believe you'd do it.
IAN: I would.
ALYDON: None of us would stop you.
(ALYDON steps back. IAN sees that they have called his bluff. He puts the drum back down.)
IAN: If I don't get the fluid link back, the four of us will die. (He smiles.) Perhaps the Daleks are more interested in people?
(He walks back towards the Thals.)
IAN: Maybe they were holding us to experiment on us? I could take them an alternative.
(He clutches DYONI'S arm. The Thals gasp. BARBARA starts to move in but the DOCTOR pulls her back. IAN starts to pull DYONI through the trees towards the city. The young girl looks pleadingly at ALYDON who hesitates, then rushes up to IAN and punches him to the ground. The Thals gasp at this show of violence. IAN looks up at ALYDON and rubs his jaw.)
IAN: So, there is something you'll fight for?
(ALYDON is stunned, absorbing this lesson.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: INT. CITY. ROOM
(A DALEK is going out of control, spinning round furiously and crying out to his compatriots.)
DALEK: Help! Cannot control! cannot control! Help me! Help me! Help! Help! Help! Helllpp!
(The DALEK stops spinning, its iris dilates as it tries to focus on the other DALEKS.)
DALEK: (Getting weaker.) Arghhh! Arghhh! Arghhh! Arghhh!
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. CITY. CONTROL ROOM
(The DALEKS receive a report over their communications system.)
DALEK: (OOV: Over tannoy.) Emergency! Emergency! All Daleks in section three are incapable of working.
SECOND DALEK: Section three? That was the first section to get the anti-radiation drug received from the Thals.
FIRST DALEK: (Into tannoy.) Stand by for a general announcement.
(It operates a control.)
FIRST DALEK: (Into tannoy.) This is control. All distribution of the anti-radiation drug is to be stopped immediately.
(It switches off the control and turns to the other DALEK.)
FIRST DALEK: The Dalek race has become conditioned to radiation.
SECOND DALEK: But if you are right, we are in danger.
(An alarm sound from the control panel and the DALEK over the intercom is heard again.)
DALEK: (OOV: Over tannoy.) All Daleks in section three are dying.
FIRST DALEK: They must be examined immediately.
(Suddenly, a THIRD DALEK on the other side of the control room starts to spin out of control.)
SECOND DALEK: Look! The disease has reached us in here.
FIRST DALEK: Then we cannot delay.
SECOND DALEK: But what are we to do? Is this the end of the Daleks?
FIRST DALEK: We need radiation to survive, so we must increase our supply of radiation.
SECOND DALEK: But there is only one way to do that...
FIRST DALEK: Exactly. We may have to explode another neutron bomb.
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: EXT. FOREST (NIGHT)
(Night has fallen and the encampment is quiet. DYONI has been trying to sleep. She gets up and, wrapping her cloak around herself, walks over to where ALYDON is sat, deep in thought.)
DYONI: Why don't you sleep?
ALYDON: Presently.
DYONI: Are you angry with yourself for striking the young man?
ALYDON: No, I...I knew he was trying to make me do it. I still couldn't stop myself.
(DYONI takes his hand.)
ALYDON: Do you despise me for hitting him?
DYONI: If you hadn't fought him, I think I would have hated you.
ALYDON: I knew he wouldn't really take you and give you to the Daleks. But I fought him...
(BARBARA and GANATUS walk up behind them.)
ALYDON: Oh, I wish Temmosus were here. What would he have said, Dyoni? Which is the most important? To...to, to fight and live, or to die without fighting?
(BARBARA and GANATUS listen to this and then walk away to the edge of the encampment where GANATUS lays down his cloak on the floor. They sit down and BARBARA looks back towards ALYDON.)
BARBARA: What will happen now?
GANATUS: I don't know. We always do what the leader of our race decides for us. He never decides anything without our full approval.
BARBARA: And if Alydon decides not to help us?
(GANATUS doesn't answer.)
BARBARA: Well, we'll have to wait 'til the morning.
(She looks towards the edge of the forest.)
BARBARA: What's that light in the sky? It's a reflection from the city, I suppose?
GANATUS: No, the lake. Some sort of chemical in the water that makes it glow in the moonlight.
BARBARA: You've been down there?
GANATUS: (Fearfully.) Yes. There's horror down there in the swamp. Five of us went there in search of food and ...only my brother and I came back.
BARBARA: Well, what happened to the others?
GANATUS: Well, we found what was left of...one of them. The lake is alive with mutations, bred and cross-bred until the original has long been replaced by...I'm sorry, I'm being morbid.
BARBARA: Oh, I don't mind as long as we're this far away. But I wonder the Daleks haven't cleaned it out - killed everything?
GANATUS: Why should they? Isn't that the perfect defence for the back of the city?
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: EXT. CITY (NIGHT)
(The glow from the lake of mutations illuminates the sky above the city.)
GANATUS: (OOV.) Only a fool would attack the city from the lake...
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. CITY. CONTROL ROOM (NIGHT)
(The inhabitants of the city are not at rest. A DALEK enters the control room where three other DALEKS wait and is questioned...)
FIRST DALEK: Has the anti-radiation drug distribution been stopped?
SECOND DALEK: Yes. Only Daleks in section two and three received it. All Daleks in section three have now died.
(Two of the DALEKS turn to one of the control panels to make a communication.)
FIRST DALEK: (Into tannoy.) Daleks in section two are to be brought to the Sonic Chamber.
(They turn back to their companion who reports...)
SECOND DALEK: We will direct the air polluted by radiation away from the nuclear reactors into the Sonic Chamber.
FIRST DALEK: And if they do not die, we shall have our answer.
SECOND DALEK: But if we need radiation, we can never rebuild the world outside.
FIRST DALEK: We do not have to adapt to the environment. We will change the environment to suit us.
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: EXT. FOREST
(The next morning, the Thals have gathered to hear what their new leader has to say. ALYDON is quietly talking to them. He crosses over to the travellers stood nearby.)
ALYDON: I have one question to ask of you. If we do not help you, what will you do?
IAN: We'll find our way into the city, and take back our lost equipment.
(ALYDON nods, returns to his people and addresses them.)
ALYDON: You see, we cannot stand by and let these people die. If we do not help them, it would be the same as if we had killed them ourselves. Now, the way I have reasoned is this; the Daleks are strong and they hate us, and I am sure they will find a way to come out of their city and kill us. So it is not merely a question of whether we go off in a vain search for food and in all probability starve to death. We face death now. In the city is enough food for all of us and all of the Daleks, a hundred times over. My conclusion is this; there is no indignity in being afraid to die, but there is a terrible shame in being afraid to live. If none of you agree with my reason, then let me go with these people and I will help you elect a new chief.
(As he is finishing this speech, he walks and stands with the travellers. The remainder of the Thals talk quietly amongst themselves for a moment then report to ALYDON.)
GANATUS: I'll go with you Alydon.
ELYON: And I!
KRISTAS: Let's start at once!
ANTODUS: And I!
IAN: Thank you.
(GANATUS brings forward a map. ALYDON is delighted.)
ALYDON: You knew what my decision would be?
GANATUS: I could always have destroyed it if you'd decided differently.
(ALYDON smiles and claps his hand on GANATUS' shoulder.)
DOCTOR: If we get this intelligent anticipation, we shall succeed.
(He points at the map.)
DOCTOR: Let's see this.
(GANATUS lays the map on the ground and they all squat down to examine it. The DOCTOR points to one area.)
DOCTOR: Now, what is this area here?
GANATUS: The swamp. Here are the mountains. This is the far side of the city. I've been into the swamp. It's surrounded by lakes, here, as you see. The lakes are inhabited by all sorts of strange creatures.
(IAN and the DOCTOR look at him. IAN then points to a place on the map.)
IAN: Can we get into the city this way?
ALYDON: Over the mountains?
IAN: Yes.
GANATUS: That means going through that swamp.
ALYDON: We can't go through the swamp. It's too dangerous.
GANATUS: It is dangerous, yes...but I realised last night when I was talking to Barbara that it is undefended.
ALYDON: (Amazed.) Undefended! It's a perfect natural barrier! All those creatures, you know that yourself...
GANATUS: (Interrupting.) Yes, I know, but I mean the Daleks won't be on guard there. There's a chance to take them by surprise. Believe me, I'm not happy about this, but it's the best possible chance there is.
DOCTOR: Yes yes. Well now, I suggest we split into two groups...
(The DOCTOR gets to his feet. The others follow.)
DOCTOR: ...the one to distract the Daleks on the city wall side, and the others to try and force a way through the mountains.
IAN: Yes, I think that's the best plan.
DOCTOR: Are we all agreed?
ALYDON: (Satisfied.) Yes. Very well then. That is what we must do.
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: EXT. CITY
(Deep beneath the city, the DALEKS watch....)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. CITY. CONTROL ROOM
(...as a flickering image appears on one of the scanners. It shows IAN'S party as they proceed on their way to the swamp.)
FIRST DALEK: The laserscope is transmitting. The quality is poor. What has happened? Has this group broken away? Is there a plan behind it? Why divide their forces?
(Another DALEK glides to a nearby machine which is producing a length of tickertape. The DALEK lifts the tape with its arm and analyses the data.)
SECOND DALEK: The figures are coming through on the radiation treatment.
FIRST DALEK: (Into tannoy.) Discontinue laserscope.
(It glides over to join the SECOND DALEK at the machine.)
SECOND DALEK: There is an improvement. Except for one serious case, all Daleks in section two have shown signs of recovery.
(The FIRST DALEK lifts the length of tape with its own arm and reads the data.)
FIRST DALEK: Then our position is clear. For us, the drug is a poison.
SECOND DALEK: And radiation is still necessary to us.
FIRST DALEK: Essential.
(The FIRST DALEK returns to the control panel to give an order.)
FIRST DALEK: (Into tannoy.) I want a complete survey of our stock of nuclear materials. I want an estimate of the amount of waste matter from the nuclear reactors...
(Various DALEKS glide to and fro across the control room to begin carrying out the orders....)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: EXT. SWAMP
(The swamp beneath the mountains is an overgrown, infested area. The ground is almost completely covered with pools of bubbling water which are ringed with thick clumps of grass and bushes. The area is dark and claustrophobic. GANATUS and ANTODUS are anxiously trekking through the wilderness. Various animal cries are heard as ANTODUS stops and looks at the thick foliage and sinister waters ahead.)
ANTODUS: We'll never get through!
GANATUS: (Comforting.) Yes, we will.
ANTODUS: What makes you think it'll be any different to the first time?
GANATUS: At least, we know what to expect...
ANTODUS: But the others don't!
GANATUS: We promised Alydon we'd find a way through the mountains, and that's what we're going to do.
ALYDON: (Panicking.) You'd never get the others to follow you if you told them what happened the first time. It's your duty to tell them. How we watched Amezus...dragged beneath the waters of the lake, while you and I ran in terror when...
GANATUS: (Interrupts.) That's enough! We're going on, Antodus. You keep your fears to yourself. I don't want you upsetting the others. Is that clear?
ANTODUS: (Quietly.) Yes.
GANATUS: Well, is it?
ANTODUS: (Snaps.) Yes!
(He storms off. IAN walks up, carrying a coil of rope over his shoulder with ELYON who moves on ahead.)
GANATUS: Well, this is the swamp. From now on, it's going to be rather uncomfortable.
(IAN looks at the swampy ground ahead.)
IAN: Yes, I see what you mean.
GANATUS: The ground's very uneven - sometimes rock, sometimes thick mud. You'll have to watch how you walk. I think it'll be a wise plan to find a place to rest for the night.
IAN: Yes. Well, we've made very good time.
(He checks his watch.)
IAN: It's only taken four hours to get here from the edge of the forest. That leaves us with two-and-a-half days to go through the mountains to the city.
GANATUS: If there is a way through.
IAN: We'll find a way. I'll go and give Barbara a hand.
GANATUS: I'm surprised you let her come.
IAN: I'd been more surprised if I could have stopped her!
(He turns back and greets BARBARA who enters the clearing in the swamp with KRISTAS. He carries on to join his companions.)
IAN: How are you doing?
BARBARA: Fine. Oh, I'm glad the mountaineering's over.
(IAN points ahead.)
IAN: There'll be some more once we get through this little lot.
BARBARA: We're going through there?
IAN: Well, we must. We've got a deadline with the Doctor in two-and--half days and we've got to make it.
BARBARA: Well, I think we could all do with a rest.
IAN: No, we'll keep up with the others. They'll be breaking camp soon.
(They move off across the waterlogged ground round a tree.)
IAN: Now take care...watch where you put your feet...
(BARBARA stumbles but regains her balance.)
IAN: All right?
(They continue. Suddenly BARBARA stops up short in horror. IAN clubs a caterpillar-like mutant in front of them. They press on to where the other Thals have gathered in a small clearing.)
GANATUS: This looks like a fairly dry section.
IAN: Yes, this'll do.
GANATUS: Right, we'll make camp here. See if we can gather up some dry branches.
IAN: All right.
GANATUS: It'll make it more comfortable to sleep on.
(The group disperses to carry out his suggestion as BARBARA lays out a cloak.)
GANATUS: Barbara, you see to the food. I'll get the fire going.
BARBARA: Right.
(GANATUS activates a small fire box which glows into life.)
GANATUS: At least it might stop some of these...these things from bothering us.
[SCENE_BREAK]
13. EXT. THE LAKE OF MUTATIONS
(IAN has gone to the lakeside and is washing his face in the water.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: EXT. SWAMP
(The Thals and BARBARA are eating at the campsite. A louder than usual animal growl sounds through the air. Slowly, the wary Thals get to their feet.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
15. EXT. THE LAKE OF MUTATIONS
(At the lakeside, IAN watches horrified as a mutant looking like a splayed out Octopus with two gleaming eyes rises from the water. He jumps up and races off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: EXT. SWAMP
(IAN runs back to the camp.)
BARBARA: (To IAN.) What was it? Did you see anything?
IAN: Yes, it was a...
(He stops as he can't bring himself to describe what he has just seen. BARBARA pulls him back to the camp.)
GANATUS: Kristas, stand guard here will you?
KRISTAS: Right.
GANATUS: (To IAN.) We'll take the first watch between us.
IAN: I'm all right, really, I...
GANATUS: Yes, I know, but I think you two Earth people should get as much sleep as possible. We're more used to this kind of life.
(They all sit down.)
GANATUS: It's over a year since we...left our own plateau in search of a new...source of food. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to stay in one place and enjoy it. I suppose there'll be an end to it one day.
(He lies on the ground to sleep. Several feet away, KRISTAS remains on guard....)
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: EXT. SWAMP
(The next morning, GANATUS shakes IAN awake.)
GANATUS: Time to move, my friend.
IAN: You let me sleep?
GANATUS: Yes.
IAN: Why didn't you wake me?
(ELYON runs up to the two of them.)
ELYON: Ganatus!
GANATUS: What's the matter?
ELYON: Come and see what I've found by the lake.
GANATUS: Right.
(They run off.)
IAN: Hold on! I'll come with you!
(He looks down to BARBARA who is starting to wake up.)
IAN: Morning!
BARBARA: Morning.
(IAN walks off to join GANATUS and ELYON.)
BARBARA: Oh, for a feather pillow and a spring mattress!
(KRISTAS smiles at her comment.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: EXT. THE LAKE OF MUTATIONS
(A short distance away IAN joins GANATUS as he walks up to ELYON at the lakeside.)
GANATUS: What did you see?
ELYON: Over there.
(ELYON points at the edge of the lake where a mountainside rises from the water. Three huge pipes rise from the water and ascend the mountain.)
IAN: We were right! The Daleks do get their water from the lake!
GANATUS: But how do we get to the city from there?
IAN: Well, there must be a way...I mean, if the Daleks aren't very mobile, they must have cut a pathway through there to work on the pipeline.
GANATUS: (To ELYON.) How long do you think it'll take us to reach there?
ELYON: Most of today. If we could cross the lake, we could reach it much quicker.
IAN: No. I'm sorry. That's one way I'm not going.
ELYON: Well, it would be dangerous, certainly. If the lake is full of mutations but...
GANATUS: (Interrupts.) No, we must go round.
IAN: Yes, and we ought to try and get there before the sun goes down.
(ELYON gives GANATUS a significant look.)
ELYON: Well, I'll just go and fill the water-bags...
(He and GANATUS moves out of IAN'S earshot.)
ELYON: There's no point in trying to cross the lake, you think?
GANATUS: No, no, he's right. Anyway, think how long it would take to build a ra...raft.
(ELYON nods and walks away to complete his task. GANATUS brings IAN with him and they return to the other Thals.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: EXT. SWAMP
(BARBARA is pouring a liquid into some cups.)
IAN: Barbara, we saw some pipes going into the lake.
(BARBARA hands cups to GANATUS and IAN.)
BARBARA: So we can go through?
IAN: Well, maybe with a bit of luck eh? Thanks.
(He takes a sip.)
IAN: Mmm, good.
BARBARA: Where's Elyon?
GANATUS: He's gone to fill the water-bags. He won't be long.
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: EXT. THE LAKE OF MUTATIONS
(At the waterside, ELYON proceeds with his task. While his back is turned to the lake, the water begins to bubble and seethe. When he turns back round, the water has been whipped into a large whirlpool. He turns to run but something has grabbed his legs. He screams.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: EXT. SWAMP
(His scream carries to the camp. The party jumps up.)
GANATUS: Stay here!
(He and IAN run to the lake leaving BARBARA and the other Thals behind, wondering what awaits their companions at the lakeside...)
|
Plan: A: Skaro; Q: What is the name of the planet the TARDIS has brought the travellers to? A: two; Q: How many indigenous races do the travelers meet on Skaro? A: armoured travel machines; Q: What are the Daleks encased in? A: pacifist principles; Q: What are the principles of the Thals? A: their own survival; Q: What do the Doctor and his companions convince the Thals to fight for? A: a two-pronged attack; Q: What kind of attack did the Thals and the Doctor launch on the Dalek city? A: their power supply; Q: What is cut off during the fighting? Summary: The TARDIS has brought the travellers to the planet Skaro where they meet two indigenous races - the Daleks, malicious mutant creatures encased in armoured travel machines, and the Thals, beautiful humanoids with pacifist principles. They convince the Thals of the need to fight for their own survival. Joining forces with them and braving Skaro's many dangers, they launch a two-pronged attack on the Dalek city. The Daleks are all killed when, during the course of the fighting, their power supply is cut off.
|
EXT. - HOTEL - POOLSIDE CAFE - DAY
[Kit and Benjamin sit at a small table together.]
Benjamin: Thanks for joining me. I don't usually do this... socialize with my students.
[Title card: Los Angeles, California - Yesterday]
Kit: I'm glad you're making an exception for me.
Benjamin: Ah, you know, it gets kinda lonely on the road sometimes.
Kit: Yeah, I know. You must miss your family.
[Benjamin sighs.]
Kit: I'm sorry, did I overstep?
Benjamin: I'm trying to do the right thing, Kit, you know. I'm away from them nine months out of the year, sleeping alone in hotel rooms.
Kit: (laughs) Yeah. Back in the day, I dealt with it by just getting hammered every night, and waking up with a different man every morning.
Benjamin: Well, I'm glad you don't feel the need to do that anymore.
Kit: Well, I can't say that I don't feel the need. I just don't act on it like I used to.
EXT. - OUTSIDE THE HOTEL - DAY
[Benjamin and Kit walk outside, down the front steps of the hotel together.]
Kit: Well, I - I guess it's goodbye then. (laughs)
Benjamin: Yeah, yeah, well, look. Thanks for keeping me company, I appreciate it.
Kit: Oh, it was my pleasure. (giggles)
[Benjamin smiles, then leans forward and kisses Kit's cheek. She looks a little confused, then open to the idea. She smiles and sighs. He leans forward and they kiss on the mouth for a few seconds. Kit whimpers and pulls back.]
Benjamin: (whispering) sh1t...
Kit: (flustered) Uh, um, I, uh, think I should go.
Benjamin: Yeah. Yeah, okay.
[Kit breathes faster and looks around quickly, growing more flustered. Benjamin seems willing to let her go, but anxious to have her stay.]
Kit: Yeah. (smiles) Okay?
Benjamin: Yeah, okay.
Kit: Okay.
Benjamin: Yeah.
[They look at each other nervously.]
INT. - HOTEL ROOM - DAY
[Benjamin and Kit collapse on a bed together. Kit laughs. They kiss. Kit moans.]
[Opening credits]
EXT. - TINA'S APARTMENT COMPLEX - DAY
[A nice, small apartment complex on the street. A couple of neighbors stroll past.]
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - DAY
[Tina's new apartment, a cozy little number that opens into a private courtyard. We hear Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" blasting on a radio in the apartment. In the living room, Tina and Alice are unpacking a bunch of boxes. Tina stands by the fireplace, holding a small, framed picture of a landscape.]
Tina: I don't even like this stupid picture. It's just the only thing that I have that isn't from Bette, or of Bette.
[Tina hangs the picture above the fireplace. Alice walks over and turns the radio up.]
Alice: Oh, my god. I love this song. (singing along) "Hit me with your best shot!"
[They start bobbing their heads and singing along. Tina tries to line the picture up correctly. Alice unpacks a box.]
Alice/Tina: (singing) "Why don't you hit me with your best shot? Hit me with your best shot!"
Tina: Is that straight? (singing) "Fire awaaaay!"
[Tina points at the picture, which is crooked.]
Alice: No. It's crooked.
[Still bobbing along to the song, Alice and Tina both look at the picture. Tina's straightened it, but Alice tips it to one side again. The guitar solo starts in the song. Alice picks up the hammer sitting on the mantle.]
Alice: Oh, guitar solo.
Tina: I'm drums.
[Tina starts unpacking a box as she plays air drums. Alice jumps up on the couch and starts bouncing around, playing air guitar with the hammer.]
Alice: Tina, Hello? I'm doing the solo!
[Tina dances and waves her arms in front of the couch, which Alice dances and plays air guitar. Alice does a grand leap from the couch and rolls onto the floor.]
Alice: Aah!
Tina: (laughing) Oh jeeze!
Alice: Okay! Okay, not a problem.
[Alice gets back up and starts dancing with Tina. Tina has her back to the front door, so she doesn't see that Helena has entered her apartment; Alice does. Alice stops. Helena stands in the foyer overlooking the livingroom and watches. She's dressed for business and has a large envelope under her arm. Tina slows down long enough to see that Alice has stopped dancing. She turns around. Helena smiles.]
Tina: Oh! Oh, hi!
[Tina pushes past Alice and hits the off switch on the radio. The music stops.]
Helena: I, uh, I did ring the bell but I guess you couldn't hear me over the cacophony.
Tina: (really excited) How are you!
[Tina races around, tidying up the mess. Helena walks into the living room. Alice leans against the fireplace, watching them.]
Tina: Um - god, I'm not, um - it's kind of a mess, I'm not really... prepared for company.
Helena: (smiles) I was just on my way to brunch and I thought I'd drop off this paperwork.
[Helena hands Tina the envelope.]
Helena: Now the Headquarters for Social Justice has money in the bank!
Alice: Wow! Where do I sign up? Hi!
[Alice waves at Helena with the hammer. Helena smiles and nods at Alice.]
Tina: Thank you, um... can I make you a cup of tea?
Helena: No, no, not today. I'll see you Thursday.
Tina: Okay. See you then.
[Helena turns to go.]
Tina: Thanks - thanks for coming by!
[Alice swings the hammer a few times at Helena, doing her best Psycho re-enactment. Unfortunately, Tina turns around too late to see it. She goes and sits on the couch and sighs.]
Tina: Oh, god.
Alice: What's Thursday?
Tina: (sighs) It's the Peabody Foundation dinner for all their grant recipients. I can't believe she saw me like this.
Alice: Like what, like a pregnant woman at home doing normal things in her apartment? Like a normal person who doesn't always look like she was dressed personally by Yves St. Laurent?
Tina: I think I've put her off. Did you see the way she looked at me?
Alice: (rolling eyes) Yeah. I did. It was a little bit scary.
[Alice walks over to another box and pulls out a pillow.]
Alice: Are you sleeping with her?
Tina: No. No, I haven't!
[Alice doesn't look entirely convinced. She tosses the pillow to Tina.]
Alice: Are you gonna?
Tina: I don't know. I don't think I'm ready yet. I mean, besides, look - with this.
[Tina gestures to her belly. Alice tosses another pillow.]
Tina: Alice, don't be ridiculous. She's not even interested in me.
Alice: (smiles, chuckling) Huh.
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - MORNING
[Mark is at the counter, fixing food. Jenny and Shane sit at the table. Shane is eating from a bowl.]
Jenny: I don't know. I can't tell. Okay, do you Carmen is into me? Honestly. Okay, when you went out with her, like... was she just kind of, like... you know... I don't know... reticent?
[Mark looks up, interested in the conversation.]
Mark: Wait a minute. (to Shane) You went out with this girl? The girl you -
Shane: f*ck you, Mark.
Mark: (laughs) (to Jenny) And now you're going out with the same girl.
Jenny: I am definitely not going out with her.
Mark: And that's cool? You guys - it's that common, you guys just, uh, share chicks and sh1t?
[Shane looks annoyed. She squints.]
Shane: We don't share. I don't date Carmen anymore.
Mark: Oh, right, right, of course. You have your two-fuck limit, right?
[Shane looks at Jenny, unimpressed.]
Mark: Shane, how do you even convince a girl to go home with you? Doesn't your reputation precede you by this point?
Shane: How do you?
Mark: I don't know. I, uh, make a lot of eye contact, laugh at all their jokes... Oh, and what signs and seals the deal is I tell a tragic childhood story.
Shane: (scoffs) Oh, Mark. You're so full of sh1t.
Mark: You know it's true.
[Jenny doesn't look amused with Mark. She looks at Shane.]
Shane: Look, from what I know, the most important thing is to listen. You get them talking, and you start hearing about their life, and then you figure out what they want.
Mark: Yeah, it's true, chicks do like to talk a lot.
Shane: But, you do not talk too much. That's the thing. Talking too much can kill it. You don't tell your life story, and you don't let them tell theirs.
Mark: You should just show her, Shane. Think about it. I mean, you know this girl. You've dated her, right? What a time saver it would be for poor Jenny just to have a little three-way. Don't you think, Jenny?
Shane: Hate to tell you this, Mark, but I don't f*ck my roommates.
[Jenny smiles.]
Mark: (smiling) Damn!
[Shane gets up.]
INT. - THE PLANET - DAY
[Dana sits at a table sipping a drink. Alice enters and walks to her table.]
Dana: Hey!
Alice: Hey!
Dana: Where ya been? Tonya's meeting is only a couple of hours.
Alice: I was at Tina's. What meeting?
Dana: Oh, you know, the Heineken Celebrity Slammin' Jammin' Tournament. So... (smiling) can we go back to your place now?
[Alice smiles at her, then sits.]
Alice: Dana.
Dana: Yeah?
Alice: I'm not gonna do this with you.
Dana: You're not gonna do what?
Alice: I'm not gonna sneak around with you. I'm not gonna be your secret lover, your backdoor woman...
Dana: (shaking head) Wha... happened?
Alice: I want you - I want you to leave her.
Dana: Al, I can't do that right now.
Alice: Why?
Dana: Because.
[Alice raises her brows.]
Dana: The tournament's tomorrow. 'Cause Tonya set up the whole thing and it's a really big deal for me.
Alice: (raises brows) Okay. Gross.
[Alice gets up and heads for the door.]
Dana: No, Al! Alice! Alice!
Alice: What?
[Dana waves her back to the table.]
Dana: (whispering) Come here. Please.
[Alice huffs, and walks back over and sits down.]
Dana: Please.
[Alice sighs.]
Dana: Al...
[Dana reaches across the table and takes Alice's hand. Alice looks away.]
Dana: Look at me. Alice.
Alice: (looking up) Hm?
Dana: I really... really wanna be with you.
Alice: You do?
Dana: Yes.
[Alice stares at the table. She looks conflicted.]
Alice: Well... well then, will you break up with her after the tournament?
[Dana nods. Underneath the table, she slips a shoe off and rubs her foot against Alice's ankle. Alice smiles and chuckles. Dana smiles at her.]
EXT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - DAY
[Bette walks through the breezeway to the courtyard. She looks around, checking the place out.]
EXT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - DAY
[Bette walks across the courtyard to where Apartment 4, Tina's apartment, is. Tina is outside, going through a box on her front porch. Bette's face softens when she sees her. Tina hasn't noticed her yet. When Bette gets close, Tina looks up.]
Bette: Hi.
Tina: What's up?
[Bette looks her over and smiles a little.]
Bette: You look good.
Tina: Oh... (smiles) I'm a mess.
[Tina carries a couple of candlestick holders into the open door of the apartment. Bette hesitates.]
Bette: Are you gonna invite me in?
[Tina comes back out.]
Tina: Um, to tell you the truth, I'm not really in the mood for company right now. I'd rather you had called first.
[Bette walks closer to the open door and leans in a little to see the inside.]
Bette: Well is the apartment okay? I mean, are you comfortable here?
Tina: It's fine. I'm fine. (nods) Is there something in particular?
[Bette looks a little hurt by the treatment. She sighs and walks away from the door, and faces Tina.]
Bette: We should talk, Tina. I mean, I can't carry on and pretend like it's all fine, and that I'm not as confused as hell by the whole thing. Look. I am - I'm just going to say what I have to say, and... I hope that you're able to hear it.
Tina: Okay.
[Tina sets down the items in her hands, and gives Bette her undivided attention. Bette hesitates a moment, looking unsure of speaking, then begins.]
Bette: I don't know how you could keep this baby a secret from me.
[Tina looks chastised. She looks away from Bette.]
Bette: I don't know how you could lie to me for nearly four months. I mean, we were still together - we were a couple, and you were pregnant, and I had no idea.
Tina: I planned to tell you, and then you f*cked off.
Bette: (raising voice) I f*cked up. I did not f*ck off. I did not leave; I am still here.
[Tina's expression softens a little. Bette quietens her tone.]
Bette: I want to have a place in this baby's life. This is our baby, Tina. Okay, I know that it's complicated. I know that there are no easy answers. There's probably no legal precedent. And if you prefer, we can hire lawyers and make up documents -
Tina: (sighs) (tossing up hands) I don't even have a lawyer anymore.
Bette: (nodding) Okay. Fine. I - you know what? I would rather that we work it out ourselves.
Tina: (irritated) Well, I'm not sure I want to work it out. Not in the way that you want it.
[Bette sighs, looks around, then approaches the topic from another angle.]
Bette: Did you use our sperm?
Tina: I used the sperm we had stored at the cryobank, yes.
Bette: Then this is our baby, Tina.
Tina: (frustrated) I can't believe that you're doing this!
Bette: You know what? We conceived of this baby together, we searched for a donor together, in fact, you know what? I found the donor. Marcus Allenwood is a friend of mine. And if we were husband and wife, this would be my baby.
Tina: (raising voice) Look, I just need to think about it, okay?
[Bette looks hurt. Tina backs toward the door and lowers her voice.]
Tina: Just give me some time.
[Tina goes inside. Bette moves toward the door, a sad look on her face.]
Bette: (sighs) (whispers) Okay.
[Tina closes the door. Bette looks around, frustrated.]
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
[Shane is at the table rolling a joint. Carmen goes to the fridge. Inside the fridge we see: Mountain Dew, orange juice, some celery, assorted hard liquor, and one bottle of beer. Carmen grabs the beer.]
Carmen: Oh, last one. Do you want this?
Shane: No, it's all yours.
Carmen: Thank you.
Shane: You're so very welcome.
[Shane sits back and lights the joint. Carmen starts to drink the beer. She stands there several seconds, drinking.]
Carmen: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
Shane: Good?
Carmen: (moaning) Mmmm.
[Shane gets up and goes over to her.]
Shane: You're such a tease. Well then, keep going. I know thirst, it's so intense!
[Shane playfully grabs the bottle and causes Carmen to spill some beer on herself. Carmen jumps back.]
Carmen: (giggling) Oh, you sh1t.
[Shane puts her nose close to Carmen's neck and takes a whiff, then jumps back.]
Shane: (laughing) Whoo! God, you stink!
Carmen: Oh, god, really?
Shane: Yeah.
[Carmen shakes the bottle and gets some of the beer on Shane. Shane jumps back.]
Shane: Aw, sh1t!
Carmen: Oh, now you are, too. Now you're gonna stink!
[As Shane backs against the counter, Carmen gets beer all over her and the floor. She laughs.]
Shane: (chuckling) I can't believe you just did that.
Carmen: No, I didn't mean to, of course. I dunno.
[Carmen and Shane wrestle over the bottle, laughing and pouring beer all over the place. Jenny walks in.]
Jenny: Hi.
Shane: Hey!
[Carmen looks like she's a kid who's just been caught behaving badly.]
Carmen: Oh, how are you?
Jenny: Um. I - I just wanted to say that Mark is out there filming with his video camera.
Shane: What?
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
[Mark reclines in a chair with his video camera. Several girls sit around on the couches, drinking beer and smoking. As they speak, he films them.]
Mark: Okay, who would make out with a guy for a million dollars?
Girl #1: Who wouldn't?
Girl #2: Would you?
Mark: (scoffs) Hell yeah. A lot less than that, actually. (laughs)
[Girl #2 smirks. Jenny, Carmen and Shane enter the room.]
Mark: (to Girl #3) What about you? Would you make out with a guy for a million dollars?
[Girl #3 rolls her eyes.]
Mark: A million and a half dollars?
[Jenny sits on the couch.]
Carmen: Ooh! I (clears throat, giggles) - I would make out with a Republican for a million dollars.
[Everybody frowns at Carmen.]
Carmen: What? I think - I think that Republicans can be hot.
Jenny: Take it back.
Carmen: Why?
Jenny: Because. Republicans are f*cking scary.
Carmen: Scary can sometimes be... sexy.
[Carmen smiles into the camera.]
Shane: They're not scary, they're stupid.
[Mark points the camera at Shane.]
Carmen: That's right, and stupid, Shane, can be even sexier.
Mark: Okay, but would you make out with a friend?
[Carmen leans close to the camera, smiling.]
Carmen: Sure.
Mark: What about two friends at the same time?
[Shane looks at Mark.]
Carmen: What? Oh, two friends at the same time? Uh - no, I wouldn't.
Mark: Come on.
Carmen: No.
Mark: Yeah.
Carmen: No, no.
[Shane walks over to the couch.]
Carmen: Not for some horny guy's benefit. Absolutely not. I would not.
[Shane sprawls out on the couch in the arms of one of the girls. Through the lens of Mark's camera, we see Carmen looking at Shane a little hurt, suddenly distracted from her train of thought. Mark keeps the camera trained on her. Shane kisses the other girl. Carmen smiles.]
Carmen: Jenny! Let's go get some more beer. (waves at camera) Bye. Yeah, we're out.
[Jenny slowly gets off the couch.]
Carmen: Come on!
[Shane nudges Jenny in the butt with her boot.]
Jenny: (playfully) No, don't.
[Mark gets a close-up of Jenny's ass as she walks out the door. He turns the camera to Shane. She flips him off.]
INT. - GALLERY - WOMEN OF ALLAH BY SHIRIN NESHAT EXHIBIT - DAY
[Several people mill around the gallery, admiring the works. Bette walks in alone, looking around at the large, black and white portraits. There are many portraits of Muslim women in traditional dress, some of whom are displaying rifles.]
[A waiter carrying a tray of champagne passes her and offers her a glass.]
Bette: No, thank you.
[Helena Peabody is there with a couple of colleagues, a few feet away. Bette doesn't see her. Helena walks over.]
Helena: Hello, Bette.
[At the sound of her voice, Bette goes still and closes her eyes. After a moment, she smiles and looks over.]
Bette: Helena.
[Bette turns and begins to walk away.]
Helena: Congratulations, by the way.
Bette: On?
Helena: Leo Herrera. He's going to be wonderful for the CAC. You have such a gem. (to colleagues) Bette's going to be working with Leo Herrera. He's coming to Los Angeles for six months to help raise money for the California Arts Center.
[Bette looks uncomfortable. She manages a smile, scoffs a little, and walks off. Helena resumes looking at the art.]
EXT. - FRANKLIN'S HOUSE - NIGHT
[Bette drives down the quiet residential street that Franklin's mansion sits on. She pulls up to his gates and presses the intercom. She looks mad. After a moment, Franklin answers.]
Franklin: (intercom) Hello?
Bette: It's Bette Porter.
[The gate opens. Bette drives into the main driveway, to the front door. Franklin meets her out on the porch, in his pajamas and robe. Bette gets out.]
Franklin: Bette. Is something wrong?
Bette: Leo Herrera.
Franklin: I was planning on talking to you about this tomorrow. I -
Bette: Did Helena Peabody have something to do with this?
Franklin: Bette, I really don't think this is the time or place. Now, I'd like to talk to you about this tomorrow morning -
Bette: I asked you a question, Franklin.
Franklin: (raising voice) It's irrelevant. We're hemorrhaging, Bette. You yourself said that this is the most difficult fund raising climate you've ever faced.
Bette: So you went behind my back and hired a fundraiser, without consulting me, in violation of my contract?
Franklin: We hired Leo as a consultant. I suggest you take a look at your contract and you'll see that it's well within our purview.
[Bette rolls her eyes.]
Franklin: Now if you want to discuss this with me further, please set up an appointment to talk with me during the day, tomorrow.
[Bette looks at him with distaste. Franklin goes back inside. Bette gets back in her car.]
EXT. - L.A. STREET - NIGHT
[Bette drives down the street. She looks extremely worried. She picks up her cell phone, puts the earbud in her ear, and dials. It rings, and someone picks up.]
Bette: Hi, it's me.
Tina: (phone) Hi.
Bette: It's - I'm having a rough time and it's...
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Bette: (phone) ... can you talk, or are you busy?
Tina: What's up?
Bette: (phone) f*cking Franklin went and hired Leo -
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: - Herrera to come raise money for the CAC -
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Bette: (phone) - and is actually moving him out from New York.
[Tina sits on the couch, listening, interested in what Bette's saying.]
Tina: Without consulting you?
Bette: (phone) (scoffs) And then I went to his house, unannounced, and went off on him in his driveway.
Tina: Uh. No, no, no. You didn't.
Bette: (phone) Yeah, I did. And you know who's responsible -
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: - for this? Your buddy Helena Peabody. The woman is a f*cking dragon -
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Bette: (phone) - and she's making my life a living hell.
[Tina doesn't respond. Instead, she looks around impatiently, no longer looking interested in the call.]
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: Oh please tell me you're not sleeping with her, Tina.
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Tina: (frustrated) Bette.
Bette: (phone) Are you sleeping with her?
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: Are you f*cking sleeping with her?
Tina: (phone) It's none of your -
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Tina: - f*cking business.
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: Don't do it, Tina, that woman will eat you alive. She is a -
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Bette: (phone) - vampire.
Tina: Yeah, and a dragon.
Bette: (phone) That's right.
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Bette: She is a monster. However you wanna -
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
[Tina looks increasingly agitated.]
Bette: (phone) - categorize it, she likes to f*ck with people for sport and -
Tina: Bette! Look, you were in distress, and you needed someone to talk to, and I'm willing to listen. But -
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Tina: (phone) I'm not gonna do this with you.
Bette: Do what? What are we doing?
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
Tina: You're trying to -
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
Tina: (phone) - control me, and you can't. I'm not - I'm not gonna talk to you about Helena Peabody!
Bette: (sarcastic) Oh, please!
INT. - TINA'S APARTMENT - CNTD.
[Tina hangs up. She shakes her head a little, sets the phone down, and goes to do something else.]
EXT. - L.A. STREET - CNTD.
[Bette pulls the earbud from her ear.]
Bette: (under breath) f*ck.
EXT. - DANA AND TONYA'S APARTMENT - DAY
[Dana's Subaru Outback is parked on the street. Dana is loading luggage into the back of it. Tonya comes out of the apartment acting excited.]
Tonya: Hi!
Dana: (smiling) (waves) Hi.
[Tonya zips over to Dana.]
Tonya: How's my little bride-to-be? Ready to play the best tennis of her life?
[Dana sits on the back bumper of the car. She smiles awkwardly at Tonya.]
Dana: Fine.
[Tonya checks her watch and hands Dana her bag. Dana puts the bag in with the others.]
Tonya: Okay. Well, in order to, uh, get out of here, we need to leave in about 5 minutes, to be on the safe side. So I'm just going to phone Anna Kournikova and Martina's people, make sure everything's okay in La Jolla, and then we're off, okay? (smiles)
Dana: Okay.
[Tonya pulls out her cell phone and steps a few feet away to make a call. As she walks away, Dana's cell rings. It's in a bag behind her. She get the phone out and answers.]
Dana: Hello? (listening)
[Dana suddenly turns to face the other direction to hide the call from Tonya.]
Dana: What - no, Alice, I haven't told her yet. Stop pressuring me!
[Tonya, leaning against a nearby palm tree on her cell phone, stares at Dana on hers.]
Tonya: Honey, who is that?
[Dana whips her head around.]
Dana: Huh? (a beat) (nervously) My mom. It's my mom.
[Tonya looks puzzled.]
Dana: She makes me feel so pressured when she - when she - when she calls me to wish me good luck.
Tonya: Oh. Okay. (phone) Sorry. So yeah, um, I just -
[Dana smiles at Tonya and gives her a little wave, then turns back around to talk to Alice.]
Dana: (quietly) I will call you back later. 'Kay, bye.
[Dana ends the call and puts the phone in her bag. She stands up, smiling nervously, then closes the back of the car. She claps her hands against her legs, sighing, then goes around to the driver's door. She smiles back at Tonya and gives a little wave.]
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - DAY
[Loud music is playing. Someone is beating on the front door. Shane goes to open it. A delivery girl, Kelly, stands there, carrying flowers and a clipboard.]
Kelly: Hi.
Shane: Hey.
Kelly: (reading clipboard) Are you Shane "McCouchen"?
Shane: McCutcheon.
[Kelly hands Shane the flowers. Shane takes them and looks at them. Kelly edges closer to Shane.]
Kelly: I need you to sign this.
Shane: Hm. Who - who are they from?
Kelly: Maybe you have a secret admirer.
[Kelly puts the clipboard in front of Shane. Shane picks up the pen. Kelly puts her hand on Shane's, directing her to the spot to sign.]
Kelly: There, is that good for you?
[Shane signs and smiles at her a little.]
Shane: Yes ma'am. That's good for me.
[Shane looks at the flowers.]
Shane: Wow.
Kelly: Don't you want to put them in water?
[Shane looks at Kelly, who's standing closer and talking a little more seductively than the average delivery girl.]
Shane: Um. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I do. Uh...
[Shane walks toward the kitchen.]
Shane: ... but, I don't know if we have a vase.
[Shane looks behind her. Kelly is following her into the house.]
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY
[Shane sets the flowers on the counter and looks in the cabinet for a vase. Kelly follows and picks up a water pitcher from the top of the refrigerator.]
Kelly: I think this might work.
[She walks close to Shane with the pitcher.]
Shane: Yeah. You're right. It could work.
[She gets even closer.]
Shane: Thank you.
[They nod at each other. Kelly puts her hand on Shane's and pulls her to her for a deep kiss. Shane sets the pitcher down. They continue to kiss.]
INT. - GYM - DAY
[Lots of people work out on various gym equipment. Charlotte Birch is one of them. Jenny stands in front of her.]
Charlotte: Your descriptive technique is better, but you're still skating on the surface.
Jenny: How do you mean that I'm "skating over the surface"?
Charlotte: Just think about it. And then take another pass. And remember... you're not Clea.
Jenny: Um, I know that I'm not Clea -
Charlotte: Have you ever read any of the stories from my rodeo days?
Jenny: Yes. I've actually I've - I've - read all of your stories.
Charlotte: Thought so.
[Charlotte gets up and moves to another workout machine.]
Charlotte: You've got to find your own voice, Jenny. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it's not the best form of writing.
[Charlotte sits down on a bench to lift weights.]
Jenny: Um. Okay. But, with all due respect, I don't think that I'm imitating you, actually.
Charlotte: I'm not into the whole student-teacher transference thing. I prefer to keep the boundaries between us crisp and clear.
Jenny: (smiling) Okay. I will - I will keep that in mind, thank you.
[Jenny starts to walk off.]
Hunter: Hey, Jenny.
[Jenny turns back around. Hunter stands there, in his sweats.]
Jenny: Hey. Hunter.
Hunter: (to Charlotte) You ready?
Charlotte: Yes.
Jenny: I'll, uh... see you later.
[Jenny starts to walk off again.]
Charlotte: You know what, Jenny, hold on. I have an assignment for you.
[Jenny turns around. Charlotte lays on the bench and Hunter begins spotting her while she lifts weights.]
Hunter: (to Charlotte) Okay, ready? Deep breaths. One. Good. Two.
[Hunter smiles at Jenny. Jenny looks at Hunter, then Charlotte. Something's going on.]
Hunter: Good. Three. Three.
INT. - THE GARAGE - DAY
[We see, on Mark's monitor, live video from Jenny and Shane's house. In the living room, the Kelly is half naked. She and Shane are kissing. The Kelly drags her to the couch. Mark and Gomey sit watching it all.]
Gomey: She is unbelievable. You are a god, man! I mean, that's what I call good filmmaking.
[They bump fists. On the screen, Shane and Kelly are kissing on the couch.]
Gomey: Oh, goodness! Unbelievable, man! How do you know girls like this?
Mark: For two hundred dollars you could know girls like that, Gomey.
Gomey: (laughs) See, I told you man. Reality just needs a little help sometimes.
[We see the screen. Shane is kissing the girl, but not touching her. She doesn't seem hugely interested. Mark directs the camera to close in on Shane's face.]
Gomey: What are you doing, man? Pan back!
Mark: Dude, hold on a second. I just... I wanna know what she's feeling.
[On the screen, Shane and Kelly are still kissing, but now we've got an ultra-close-up of Shane's face. Her eyes are closed as she kisses the girl.]
Gomey: Who gives a f*ck what she's feeling?
[Mark watches. Shane and the girl continue to kiss.]
INT. - GYM - DAY
[Hunter sits by Charlotte's side as she does sit-ups against a huge rubber ball. Jenny stands nearby, watching.]
Charlotte: Try not speaking for the rest of the day. Not a word. Try communicating all your needs without using audible language.
Jenny: Why?
Charlotte: Don't ask why, just try it. And then, write me an essay about your experience.
EXT. - LA JOLLA HOTEL - MORNING
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Tonya and Dana's hotel for the tournament. It's a nice, Mediterranean-style building with palm trees out front.]
INT. - LA JOLLA HOTEL - HALLWAY - MORNING
[Shane and Alice walk down the hall together.]
Shane: I can't believe I let you take me to La Jolla for this.
Alice: Okay. You need to tell her to call this one off. And just explain that the longer she waits, the more painful it's gonna get because she doesn't understand that, and just... like, tell her if she -
Shane: (irritated) Alice, why do I have to tell her? She said she'd say something after the game!
[Alice looks confused.]
Shane: (irritated) Honey, mellow out, please!
[Shane and Alice round the corner. Shane sees Tonya down the hallway.]
Shane: There's Tonya! Cool.
[Alice yanks Shane back to hide behind the corner.]
Shane: sh1t.
Tonya: (off screen) Thank you so much for today. I know.
[Alice slyly peeks around the corner. Tonya is standing in her bathrobe, talking on the phone in the hallway. She has an ice bucket under her arm.]
Tonya: (phone) Melissa Rivers, I'm dying! I know. I can't believe. She's actually hosting the event.
Alice: (off screen) Melissa Rivers?
[Tonya carries the ice bucket down the hall, still talking on the phone. Shane jerks Alice back.]
Shane: She doesn't even know we're here, does she?
Alice: Okay, no. Um... okay, here's the plan, Stan. I'm gonna go talk to Dana and you're gonna call me on this phone - take this -
[Alice gives Shane her bag.]
Alice: If you see Tonya coming. Okay?
Shane: (shaking head) This is dumb.
Alice: Alright, Sh - I don't have time for this, Shane. Okay? God.
[Alice literally leaves Shane holding the bag. Alice rounds the corner and rushes down the hallway to the door to Dana's room. Shane peeks around the corner.]
Alice: (whispering loudly) Dana!
[Alice looks over at Shane, nodding and holding up her phone. An arm reaches out of the door and yanks Alice inside.]
INT. - LA JOLLA HOTEL - DANA'S ROOM - MORNING
[Dana pulls Alice into the room and closes the door. They smile and giggle as they grab each other and immediately start making out.]
Dana: Hey!
Alice: Hi!
[They make out like a couple of hormonal teenagers. Alice breaks the kiss.]
Alice: Hey, listen.
Dana: Yeah?
Alice: If you don't promise to do this tonight? I refuse to leave this room.
[They start making out again.]
Dana: Wait, wait!
Alice: What?
Dana: Wait! That's not fair, I said I would do it after. Besides, what do I say?
[And again.]
Alice: Mm!
[Dana starts kissing all over Alice's neck and chest.]
Alice: How 'bout - how 'bout, "Hi, Tonya, you're a scary robot and I'm not gonna marry you." And - and - mmm -
[They kiss.]
Alice: "But you can still be my manager!"
[They kiss again. Alice's phone starts to ring. She breaks the kiss and looks at it.]
Alice: Oh, f - oh, god, that's Shane, that means Tonya's coming, so, um...
Dana: What was your escape plan, Al?!
[Alice looks around urgently as her phone continues ringing.]
Alice: Plan - I did - I didn't really think about that one!
[Alice runs into the bedroom area.]
Dana: Alice!
[The door opens and Tonya enters.]
Tonya: Hi!
[Tonya takes the ice bucket over to the table. Dana tries not to stare at the bedroom.]
Dana: Hi-i-i!
[Before Tonya turns around, Dana straightens her clothes and hair. Tonya fixes drinks. She turns and smiles at Dana.]
Tonya: How are you?
[Dana can't stop fidgeting, but Tonya doesn't notice because she's looking at the drinks. Suddenly, Alice jumps out of the bedroom, with one of Dana's tennis rackets.]
Alice: Surprise!!
Tonya: Alice!
Alice: Hi!!
[Tonya smiles, looking a tiny bit surprised.]
Alice: Tennis, anyone?
[Dana laughs.]
Tonya: Wow, did you - did you come up here just... to support your friend?
[Dana fidgets nervously, over-smiling.]
Alice: I did!
Tonya: That is so sweet.
Alice: Ah, yeah.
[Alice puts her arm around Dana's shoulder. They grin.]
Tonya: (gasps) Melissa Rivers is great. It is such a coup to get her, I can't tell you! Heineken is thrilled.
[Tonya messes with the ice, facing away from the duo. Dana, arm around Alice's shoulders, reaches down and touches Alice's boob, then snatches her hand back.]
Alice: Yeah! You're a fantastic promoter, Tonya, you are! I mean, Dana's really lucky to have you as her manager.
[Tonya walks to them.]
Tonya: And I am so glad that you came, because our little Miss Fairbanks has been a bundle of nerves. Haven't you baby?
Alice: Oh, have you? Ohh!
[Alice pokes Dana playfully in the ribs. Dana giggles and playfully punches Alice in the shoulder.]
Tonya: (baby voice) Just one little match 'til we can go back and sleep in our own little beddy-bye, right Pookie-pie?
[Tonya touches Dana's chin. Dana chuckles. Alice stares Tonya down.]
Alice: Yeah. Okay. (to Dana) Well, I'm gonna leave you guys alone.
Dana: Okay.
Alice: But I am excited to see you kick some butt.
Dana: (smiling) Yeah!
[Alice opens the door.]
Alice: Alright. (to Tonya) (smiling) Later, girl.
Dana: (chuckling) Bye!
[Alice exits. Dana stands there laughing, then abruptly turns and walks out of the room.]
EXT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - DAY
[Jenny and Carmen walk up to the front porch. Jenny smiles and watches Carmen as she speaks, but says nothing.]
Carmen: So when does your silence assignment end? I had a really great time with you, but... I think I wanna do it again when you are a little bit more verbal. Maybe.
[Jenny stops and faces Carmen.]
Carmen: Is that cool with you?
[Jenny hangs her head. Gently, Carmen puts her hand under her chin and kisses her. When Carmen pulls away, Jenny's eyes are still closed. Carmen smiles and pets her face. Jenny opens her eyes. She smiles.]
Carmen: (whispering) Okay.
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - JENNY'S DESK - NIGHT
[Jenny sits on the table, staring at a blank page on her laptop. She types: THE RINGMASTER.]
JENNY'S DAYDREAM -
[We're at a circus, under the big top tent. Inside, we see various circus performers twirling batons of fire. Charlotte Birch is dressed as the circus ringmaster, in tails and a top hat. She addresses a few people seated in the audience. Her voice is distorted.]
Charlotte: Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up, ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls, girlie boys, and boyish girls! Tops! Bottoms! Queers! Bi's! Transgenders and label-free people of every stripe and variety!
[The scene goes in and out of focus. The edges blur and darken.]
Charlotte: Come and see the amazing trio of human freaks, brought before you for entertainment and amusement.
[Charlotte stretches an arm out, pointing up to the high wire. Jenny stands on the high wire pedestal in sad clown makeup, wearing a white corset and a frilly black dress.]
Charlotte: On the high wire we have our first specimen, the silent ballerina.
[Jenny curtsies shyly. The audience applauds.]
Charlotte: And behind me our second specimen, the beautiful temptress.
[Carmen is seated in front of an ornate tapestry. She is the image of an ancient Hindu goddess, wearing a crown and garlands of flowers, having six arms, all moving.]
Charlotte: And to my left our third specimen, the temptress tamer!
[Shane comes out, carrying a whip. She cracks it and walks over to Carmen. Jenny watches sadly from above and Shane goes to Carmen and they kiss. Jenny swoons, then faints, falling from the pedestal. The audience shrieks in horror.]
INT. - THE GARAGE - DAY
[Kelly sits on the couch. Mark picks up a videocassette labeled "Kelly".]
Mark: Here it is.
[Kelly reaches her hand out.]
Mark: But - (playful) I'm gonna need you to sign for it first.
[Mark sits next to her on the couch.]
Mark: (playful) Was it good for you? (laughs) No, Kelly, you were a genius in this. No, really, it's - it's -
[Kelly takes the video from him.]
Mark: It's pretty f*cking hot. I think you're gonna enjoy it.
Kelly: Thanks.
[Kelly doesn't look too happy.]
Mark: Hey, what's up? Are you sorry you did it? 'Cause if you don't want me to, I won't use it.
[Kelly faces him.]
Kelly: I don't want you to use it.
Mark: But... Kel, it's good. I mean, it's provocative, but it's not cheesy. It's gonna work really well in the narrative of my film.
Kelly: Your film. "Lesbians Gone Wild"? (rolls eyes)
Mark: No. That's actually not what I have in mind. I'm making a documentary.
Kelly: I don't know, I... Shane might get upset. You're sure she's not home, right?
[Mark smiles.]
Mark: Yeah I'm - I'm sure.
Kelly: (sighs) What? I don't wanna hurt her, that's all. She was really nice to me.
Mark: That's it, she was - she was really nice to you?
[Kelly nods.]
Mark: What does that mean, exactly? That she turns you on, she made you come real hard?
Kelly: Screw you, Mark.
[Kelly pushes him away.]
Mark: I'm sorry, that was... that was inappropriate. It's just it's good, and... guess I'm just a little jealous.
[Mark smiles. Kelly looks at him.]
Kelly: (sighs) Of me, or her?
Mark: (chuckles) Shut up! (stands) It's just - it's - it's really unbelievable, though, I just - that chick must have some kind of power or something. I've never seen a girl (tosses up hands) have that kind of effect on other girls.
Kelly: Sounds like she's working on you, too.
Mark: Not. I'm just intrigued by her.
Kelly: So does Shane sleep with a lot of girls?
EXT. - TENNIS TOURNAMENT - DAY
[Dana plays tennis while an audience watches. Alice and Shane are in the audience with Tonya. Tonya watches Melissa Rivers, who sits on the side of the court.]
Tonya: Melissa Rivers is out of water. And her celebrity handler is just sitting there?
[A couple of guys sit around on a bench on the court.]
Tonya: What is wrong with these people?! (scoffs) I'll be right back.
[Tonya gets up and walks through the stands.]
Tonya: (to others) Excuse me.
[Alice reaches in her purse.]
Alice: Okay. Quick. Shane? I need you to read this and tell me what you think.
[Alice hands Shane a letter.]
Shane: What is it?
Alice: It's a script, I wrote it for Dana to break up with Tonya because she was having trouble finding the words.
Shane: (sighs) (reading) "Tonya. There's something I need to say to you. This isn't easy for me because you've worked really hard and done so much for my career." Alice. It's karmically wrong. It's gonna come back at you if you and Dana wind up together.
[Out on the court, Tonya carries a bottle of water to Melissa Rivers. They smile at each other. Up in the stands, Alice shakes her head.]
Alice: Alright. Yoda needs to give me some better advice or Yoda needs to shut the f*ck up.
EXT. - W HOTEL - DAY
[Kit and Bette are walking up the steps of the hotel to the TOE seminar.]
Kit: I'm so glad you decided to come, baby sis, I think it's gonna be good for you.
Bette: I'm just doing this to support you, Kit, I'm not doing this for myself.
Kit: Aw, you may say now but it's transformative. And if you don't mind me saying, you could use a little transforming right about now.
[Bette stops at the top of the steps.]
Bette: Please don't use that self-help jargon on me. I will barf.
Kit: I am not a Moonie. He just says a lot of things that make sense.
Bette: If you say so.
[Bette puts her arm around Kit and they go inside.]
INT. - W HOTEL - TOE SEMINAR LOBBY - DAY
[Kit and Bette approach a poster of Benjamin Bradshaw.]
Kit: Do you think he's fine? Wait 'til you hear him speak. Just something about the way he moves his body on stage.
[Kit seems to glow as she looks at the poster. Bette cringes a tiny bit, then shrugs. They head up the steps to the ballroom for the seminar.]
Benjamin: (voice over) You've begged, pleaded -
INT. - W HOTEL - BALLROOM - DAY
[A large audience watches Benjamin on stage.]
Benjamin: - plotted, screamed and flailed! And yet, you've still not got that thing. That one thing that you most want, that you can't live without! But! Have you taken the ultimate risk: Have you made yourself vulnerable? Say to yourself, What is the most vulnerable position for me? How can I put myself at risk to lose everything that I have to lose?
[In the audience, Kit listens intently. Bette opens up a small notepad and takes out a pen.]
Benjamin: Because, when you risk losing everything, you invariably stand to gain everything.
[Kit looks at Bette, who is concentrating as she scribbles down notes in her notepad. Kit smiles.]
INT. - TENNIS TOURNAMENT - LOCKER ROOM HALLWAY - DAY
[Alice and Dana stand around and fidget nervously.]
Alice: Okay. Now's the time.
[Dana takes a deep breath. Alice reaches in her pocket and pulls out her script.]
Alice: Oh, um, I wrote you a script.
Dana: A script?
Alice: Yeah, so you know what to say. Um.
[Alice and Dana look at the script together.]
Alice: Do you wanna practice?
Dana: Okay. (reading) "Tonya, there's something I need to say to you..." (mumbling as she reads) I can't say this, Al, it's horrible!
[Alice looks at the script.]
Alice: How is (reading) "This isn't easy for me because you've worked really hard and done so much for my career" horrible? I'm trying to soften the blow, here.
Dana: Because (reading) "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to marry you"? That's a hideous thing to say to anybody, Al.
[Alice snatches the script away and stuffs it back in her pocket.]
Alice: Fine. No script. It's okay.
Dana: (sighing) Oh, god.
Alice: Just improv.
[Dana puts her head in her hands.]
Dana: I can't do this.
Alice: Yes, you can.
Dana: (whiny) No, I can't.
Alice: I believe in you.
Dana: You do?
Alice: Yeah. Dana, go. Go!
Dana: Okay, okay.
[Dana heads into the locker room. Alice peeks in, nervously biting her bottom lip.]
INT. - W HOTEL - BALLROOM - DAY
[The seminar is over. Attendees mill around. Benjamin is in a corner signing his book. Kit and Bette approach.]
Benjamin: (smiling) Kit.
Kit: Doctor Bradshaw.
Benjamin: Oh, it's so lovely to see you. (to Bette) And Bette.
[Bette stops staring into space and looks at Benjamin.]
Benjamin: I'm glad you decided to open yourself up. Did you find it enlightening?
Bette: (laughs) Actually, you said a few things that - hit home.
Benjamin: (smiling) Only a few things?
Bette: Well, it was a few more than I was expecting, to be perfectly honest.
Benjamin: Well tell me your thoughts, uh, what in particular resonated for you?
Bette: I guess... the comments that you made about... making yourself vulnerable.
[Kit beams.]
Benjamin: You wanna know how to make yourself vulnerable to Tina, so that you and she can raise a child together.
[Bette curls her lip and shoots a look at Kit.]
Bette: Jesus, have you told him everything that's going on in my life?
Kit: I was worried about you! I just wanted to help!
Benjamin: Go to her tonight. Wherever she is. Bring her flowers. If possible, flowers you've picked yourself, rather than bought.
[Kit looks down, scorned. Bette rolls her eyes.]
Benjamin: Give Tina the flowers, and say "You hold all the cards." No matter what she says, say... "You hold all the cards."
[Bette smirks and shakes her head a little.]
Bette: (voice over) It is my personal business -
INT. - W HOTEL - TOE SEMINAR LOBBY - DAY
[Bette walks quickly down the stairs. She's mad. Kit dashes after her.]
Bette: - I don't want some stranger knowing my personal business, especially someone like Benjamin Bradshaw.
Kit: Well, if there's anyone you should trust, it should be Benjamin, I mean he's a good person.
Bette: (smirks) He's a f*cking circus performer.
Kit: I thought you said he said something that hit home.
Bette: Well of course. It's a technique of people like him. You spout enough pre-packaged wisdom, there's bound to be something for everybody. You know, I find something for me in the Vogue horoscope, too, that doesn't mean it's not bullshit.
[Kit sighs. They face each other.]
Kit: Does that mean you're not gonna do the assignment?
[Bette sighs and looks at her sister, hesitant to say no. She puts on her sunglasses and walks away.]
INT. - TENNIS TOURNAMENT - LOCKER ROOM - DAY
[Dana sits on a bench in the locker room, getting changed.]
Tonya: (off screen) Pookie, where are you?
[Tonya winds her way through the rows of lockers and finds Dana.]
Tonya: God, your locker's like in Siberia! We are going to have to have a harsh conversation with somebody about that -
[Dana puts her hand up.]
Dana: (firmly) Tonya, there's something I need to say. Please.
[Tonya sits.]
Tonya: Me too. Why don't you go first? (smiles)
Dana: Okay. Tonya...
[Dana takes her time. She takes Tonya's hand, and smiles up at her very genuinely and heartfelt.]
Dana: You are an amazing woman.
[Tonya smiles.]
Dana: You came into my life at a time when I was trying to figure out who I really was, and... you made me feel so well taken care of. You had such respect for me. That I started learning to respect myself.
|
Plan: A: Alice; Q: Who pushes Dana to break up with Tonya? A: a major tennis tournament; Q: What event does Alice push Dana to break up with Tonya after? A: the engagement; Q: What does Dana end? A: an affair; Q: What was Tonya having behind Dana's back? A: Helena; Q: Who does Tina consider her new attraction? A: the second time; Q: When does Tina move out of Bette's place? A: Kit; Q: Who hooks up with Benjamin? A: a lonely Bette; Q: Who does Kit persuade to attend one of Benjamin's seminars? A: Charlotte Birch's; Q: Who's advice does Jenny follow? A: Jenny; Q: Who decides to bond more with Carmen? A: Shane; Q: Who does Mark become obsessed with? A: a prostitute; Q: What does Mark hire to seduce Shane? Summary: Alice pushes Dana to break up with Tonya after a major tennis tournament. Though Dana politely ends the engagement, she is shocked when Tonya agrees and reveals she too was having an affair behind Dana's back. Tina considers her new attraction to Helena as she moves out of Bette's place for the second time. Kit finally hooks up with Benjamin and persuades a lonely Bette to attend one of his seminars. Following Charlotte Birch's advice, Jenny decides to bond more with Carmen. Also, Mark becomes more obsessed with Shane leading him to hire a prostitute to seduce her... so he can secretly videotape it.
|
Erin: Andy's coming back today! Andy's coming back today! Ha! Andy's coming back today. David Wallace sent him on an outward bound wilderness adventure for a whole month to make him more decisive and confident. He sent his own son too. And the counselors said they both grew up, big time.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: How was my summer? It was pretty mixed. I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff. Mmm, mmm! So that's really good. But I got some disappointing medical news.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Doctor: Mr. Schrute, the results are in. You are not the father.
Angela: I told you [Dwight vomits power drink on Angela]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: Oh, what a summer! An emotional roller-coaster. I ran over a turtle in the parking lot, but then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. But I'm not that good at puzzles.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Oscar: [as Kevin reassembles shell] That piece doesn't go there. [Kevin shushes him]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: So I patched him with stuff from around the office. But I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. Then one day, when I was reaching for the glue, I crushed his shell again. But I rebuilt him even better that time. But it turned out the turtle was already day. Probably when I ran over him the first time.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: For us, um, nothing new, really the kids are great.
Jim: You are really good at modesty. She's a genius. She painted this incredible mural in the kids' room. There's a hippo leading a parade of 500 children-
Pam: Kay, well, you had that interesting thing.
Jim: Oh, yeah
Pam: Yes, Jim's friend is starting anew company based on this idea Jim had when they were back in college.
Jim: Its sports marketing basically. But the athletes are partners.
Pam: And he wanted Jim to be a part of it too.
Jim: In Philly, so, that doesn't really work for the family. Watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea.
Pam: He said if it takes off he's gonna buy us a new car.
Jim: An Altima or better.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby: Kelly Kapoor is gone. Her fiancé Ravi was hired as a pediatrics professor at Miami university.
Kelly: [tossing out winter coats] I don't need em anymore. I am going to Miami biotches. To hang with Lebron James and Gloria Estefan.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby:Miami University in Ohio. On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kelly: Enjoy the snow losers.
Erin: I'm so happy for you Kelly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby: Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit and also moved to Ohio, for what he claimed were unrelated reasons.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: I've actually done a lot of market research and it actually turns out that southwestern Ohio is going to be the next Silicon Valley. They call it the Silicon Prairie. It's a big university town. And, uh, that's not garbage, it's out clothes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: And that was our summer.
Jim: we good?
Off-camera: Yeah
Pam: Don't you guys have everything. I mean, its just a paper company.
Off-camera: Well we're more following you guys, to see how you turn out.
Pam: Oh, yeah, because we were kind of dramatic in the beginning. Well I don't think anything's gonna change in our lives now. With work and two kids there's just-nothing interesting is going to happen for us in a long, long time.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Erin: Andy's coming back today!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Clark: Hey, uh, does anybody know where we throw these out?
Stanley: Oh, my god. It's called a garbage can.
Phyllis: Helpless.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby: There's two new guys back there with me now. They're in their 20s. And we really get along.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Clark: [Playing computer game with Toby] You're looking good.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Toby: Just three single guys. Getting into trouble.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Stanley: They're like the new Jim and Dwight.
Nellie: Oh, yes, yes I see that! Perfect.
Meredith: Hey, new Jim, come sit on my face.
Pete: No thank you. My name's Pete.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: No, Pete is not the new Jim. The only we have in common is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. And if that makes him the new Jim, then every human being in the world is the new Jim.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Erin: Andy's here! Old Dwight, new Dwight, Andy's here. New Jim, Tuna, Andy's here. Pam, he's here. [squeals as Andy walks in]
Andy: Hey! Wow, I thought about this place a lot when I was on solo. Three days on a mountain, it'll change you. The things we think we need. Clocks, yeah right!
Nellie: It sounds amazing, tell us all about it.
Andy: What're you still doing here?
Nellie: Wonderful, thanks.
Andy: You know I had this really funny dream during Outward Bound that you died.
Nellie: Brilliant.
Andy: See me in my office later. The new guys, alright. It's Clark and, um-
Pete: Pete!
Andy: In Outward Bound it was all about nicknames. They called me Iceman. You will be called Plop.
Pete: What? Why?
Andy: Cause you're always taking dumps.
Pete: No I'm not.
Andy: Come on, everybody defecates. Relax, Plop. And you will be called Fart cause you fart all the time.
Clark: I love it.
Darryl: Actually, Andy, we call this one Dwight, Jr.
Clark: No, I prefer Fart.
Andy: No, Dwight Jr. Infinitely better. You guys look exactly alike. Dwight go stand next to him. This is insane.
Dwight: I don't see it.
Clark: I don't either.
Andy: Whoa! Mind blown. It's like father and son! Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr?
Dwight: Yes, yes I am. [puts his arm around Clark]
Andy: Dwight, Jr! [Dwight gives Clark a noogie]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: In a way it's like I have a son. And who knows? Maybe someday they'll hire someone who looks like a younger version of him. And then I'll have a grandson.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: Well, I need to give my cat up for adoption.
Kevin: The one who uses the doorbell, or the one with the Mexican hat, or the one with the rain galoshes, or the one you let go around naked?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: Angela's cats are cute. So cute that you just want to eat them. But you can't eat cats. You can't eat cats, Kevin.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: No, the one with the long hair and the denim pants, Comstock! Ok, look [starts playing video on computer]. He's such a special kitty. I just want to find him a good home. He loves those pants
Kevin: I'll take him.
Angela: Please, after the turtle?
Kevin: I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle!
Angela: Oscar, Oscar, will you take him?
Oscar: No, I'm a dog person.
Angela: If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person.
Oscar: Those guys always change back, Angela.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: David, outward bound was incredible. I was the best at slack lining, I ate a worm.
David: Glad to hear it. You sound very confident and decisive.
Toby: Hey you wanted to see me?
Andy: Yeah, I gotta go David. [hangs up phone] Why is Nellie still here?
Toby: You can only fire Nellie for cause.
Andy: Mm, then I will make up a cause.
Toby: Except you just told me you were gonna make it up. Now if she sues, I have to testify against you.
Andy: Then forget I just told you that.
Toby: Can't. I took a course at the Weintraub Memory Academy. I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brook. She had a Greek salad for lunch. See what I mean?
Andy: Now I know why Michael hated you so much.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Good boy, getting big and strong. Snack foods!
Clark: Yep, body by Cheez-it
Dwight: Ah, humor. I have it too. I have a couple tickets to the slayer concert 10 months from now. You interested?
Clark: I think I'm busy that night. Or I would.
Dwight: Well, we're both just kinda learning as we go, aren't we?
Clark: Learning what?
Dwight: Just how this going to be, you know? You have a beautiful round head.
Clark: Kay.
Dwight: So what kind of farming you into, huh? You more of a fruit man or a root man?
Clark: Is this-is this like code for gay stuff? Cause if so, that's totally fine. Like, I'm fine with it. But you should know that I'm into the ladies.
Dwight: Spoken like a true root man.
Clark: You know, if you're ever swamped, I could make some sales calls for you.
Dwight: My calls?
Clark: So could you give me a list of all your clients? Or just the leads that you haven't had time to pursue yet?
Dwight: You want a list of my clients? You want my leads?
Clark: Yeah, I'll just give it a glance-
Dwight: Ok
Clark: I'll give it a read.
Dwight: With my leads and stuff like that?
Clark: Yeah.
Dwight: Cause you're interested in going into sales?
Clark: I am.
Dwight: Wow, that's great. That's great. Ok, good, let's talk about that, ok?
Clark: Ok.
Dwight: You're not getting my clients! Nice try.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Paranoid? I'm not familiar with the word. And I really don't have time to learn new words right now, ok? A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Jim, get ready for the battle of your life.
Jim: Done. Explain.
Dwight: The new guys. Dwight Jr is after my job. Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub.
Jim: Oh, now I get what Pete was talking about at the sales meeting yesterday.
Dwight: Wait, sales-what sales meeting?
Jim: The new guys called one.
Dwight: The new guys called a sales meeting?
Jim: Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration. Did you know there was a belt above black?
Dwight: There's no belt above black. Is there a belt above black?
Jim: You should ask him. It's a color you would never expect. [Dwight storms off] Too easy.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: Attention everyone. Comstock is still available. Oscar has been flirting with adopting him. But still hasn't given me a definite yes or no.
Oscar: Definitely no.
Angela: Fine. For any interested candidates, I will be conducting 20 minute interviews. My ideal situation would an independently wealthy cute couple with a strong commitment to education. Black or white, I'm fine with either, but not both. [to Pam] Listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, ok?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year. It's going to be terrible.
Nellie: Not necessarily
Andy: No I'm going to make sure that it is. And if it isn't, I'm going to take immediate action to rectify that. Now, I don't like to throw around the b-word, but I'm going to be a huge bitch to you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Now this is called slack lining.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: I set up the old slack line to teach the office the skills of focus and discipline. Or in the case of certain individuals, the skills of humiliation and looking really dumb.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: If you make it all the way across, your confidence will soar. But, if you Toby out, then you'll feel like a real Nellie. How about a hand, screw those guys. Now, these are my actual Outward Bound counselors, Rafe and Feather.
Rafe: Iceman.
Andy: That's me. The powder is for your protection, Feather has permanent athlete's foot. Feather, show them how you dance upon the line of slack.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: You a sports fan?
Pete: Sure, boxing, tennis.
Jim: Oh. Any team sports?
Pete: NASCAR. The Amazing Race.
Jim: Phillies fan, though, right?
Pete: You mean horses?
Jim: No, like baseball. A baseball team.
Pete: Ah, I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont.
Jim: Ok. Good talk.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: I have nothing in common with Plop.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: All right, who's next? Nellie?
Nellie: Oh, I would rather watch you and your talented friends.
Andy: Nonsense. Get up here.
Kevin: Go ahead
Andy: Come on. Uh, are you gonna wear your heels?
Nellie: I'm very self-conscious about my feet.
Andy: Ok, sure. There ya go. Atta girl. Hey, alright. Whoa! [pushes Nellie off slack line] You suck. Alright, who's next? Darryl?
Darryl: This seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.
Andy: Dwight Jr? This looks like your speed.
Clark: Uh, I guess I could give it shot.
Andy: Yeah, come on. Get up here. Just hop on up.
Clark: Ok
Andy: Focus on the horizon. [Clark successfully walks the slack line] Whoa! Look at this guy.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Clark: I've always been good at anything that required balance. My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Darryl: Go, Dwight Jr!
Andy: Hey, yes.
Dwight: Boo, unimpressed. It's a tightrope for babies. Boo!
Clark: Alright, let's see you do it.
Andy: Alright. Let me show you how a real man walks across a flaccid cord.
Andy: Ooh! Who ordered the hot apple fail?
Dwight: Ok, I am just getting started, ok?
Clark: You got this, it's all you. [as Dwight repeatedly fails and gets smacked around] Got ourselves a yard sale. Balls in face. It's not a race, Dwight.
Andy: Well it's official. Old Dwight is lame and New Dwight is cool.
Dwight: [bleeding heavily from the mouth] That's not true. Just give me another chance.
Oscar: But your mouth is ble-
Toby: This is a bloodbath. Alright, I'm calling this.
Dwight: What?
Toby: It is enough of this. Everyone, let's go back to work.
Dwight: This is a stupid activity. I would be embarrassed to be good at it. [tries to go in locked door] Idiots.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Slack lining, please. Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pig-tailed school girls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's a jump rope!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Dwight!
Dwight: Pam? Hey come up here, up the ladder. Come on.
Pam: [sees trapeze contraption] What are you doing?
Dwight: Come here, I'll show you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: Why do you want this cat?
Pete: I don't want it, really.
Angela: How would you support the cat? What are your ambitions?
Pete: I want to start my own business. I want to be a millionaire. Lots of things. Travel, make the world a better place, earn an MBA at night.
Angela: Have you taken any concrete steps?
Pete: Well, I'm still just fitting in here, you know? Getting used to the new job. But, definitely on the agenda. But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Oh, come on, Pete! God, that's just sad. If he doesn't watch himself, he's gonna be here for years, doing nothing. [sober realization] Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? That means it's literally impossible for anyone to fall off. So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole.
Pam: I will?
Dwight: You will. Yeah we weigh about the same, wouldn't you say?
Pam: Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds.
Dwight: So you'll do it?
Pam: No.
Dwight: Come on, this will be the only thrill of your boring life.
Pam: Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life.
Dwight: Come on.
Pam: Exactly the way it is.
Dwight: No, Pam.
Pam: Yes, and there's nothing you could say that would get me to run the slightest risk of losing it.
Dwight: Please? Please, Pam?
Pam: Find someone else, I don't know. Ask Phyllis.
Dwight: I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar I'll be launched into space. God, you're so insensitive.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pete: Why are you getting rid of it?
Angela: Allergies.
Pete: Your husband?
Angela: No, the baby. Please, it's my husband's favorite cat. He's broken up about it. It's the only time I've seen him cry other than our wedding night.
Oscar: You know what? I will take Comstock.
Angela: Really? Oh, Oscar, thank you!
Oscar: I'll come by after work and pick him up.
Angela: Yay! Oh, poor Robert. He won't get to say goodbye. He has this business dinner tonight
Oscar: C'est la vie.
Angela: Please don't teach the cat French.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Oscar: [on phone] Yeah. Good news, tonight when you come over for dinner, you can play with your old buddy Comstock.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: You ready?
Jim: Yeah. You know what? I'll meet you down there. Just gotta make a quick call.
Pam: Kay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Ok. [prepares bike trapeze]Oh, god.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Jim tries dialing and hangs up]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Attention, employees of Dunder Mifflin. Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool cause they can slack line. Boo. Hey Clark, this is what a areal salesman looks like. They say that you only live once and I'm about to prove it. Dwight Schrute!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Hey, man. It's halpert. Did you go to the other guy yet? Great, don't. I'm in. Yeah, yep, I'm all in. Ok, talk to you soon. Bye. [hangs up] Yeah!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Woo! [starts pedaling out until trapeze bike flips over, he dangles from the handlebars] Ahh!!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Creed: In the parking lot today there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high-wire, a lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator; a strong man crushed a turtle. I laughed and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Meredith: Crap. Sorry, Nellie.
Nellie: Once again, I understand that old habits die hard, but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins instead of tossing them, then we would-[hit in the face with trash]
Stanley: Mm, swish.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Nellie: Oh, it's nothing to do with me. I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: There are two things that I am passionate about. Recycling and revenge.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Nellie: [As trash is thrown at her] Fluke.
|
Plan: A: Two; Q: How many new employees are hired by the Scranton branch? A: Clark Duke; Q: Who is the new employee named Clark? A: ( Jake Lacy; Q: Who plays Pete? A: trouble; Q: What do the new employees cause for Jim and Dwight? A: John Krasinski; Q: Who plays Jim Halpert? A: Rainn Wilson; Q: Who plays Dwight Schrute? A: Andy Bernard; Q: Who returns from manager training? A: Nellie Bertram; Q: Who does Andy want revenge on? A: Catherine Tate; Q: Who plays Nellie Bertram? A: Angela Martin 's ( Angela Kinsey ) cat; Q: Who is Oscar considering adopting a cat from? A: Angela Martin 's; Q: Oscar Martinez considers adopting whose cat? A: Kevin Malone; Q: Who saves a turtle? A: Kelly Kapoor; Q: Who leaves for Ohio? A: Ryan Howard; Q: Who follows Kelly to Ohio? Summary: Two new employees, Clark ( Clark Duke ) and Pete ( Jake Lacy ), are hired by the Scranton branch and cause trouble for Jim Halpert ( John Krasinski ) and Dwight Schrute ( Rainn Wilson ). Andy Bernard ( Ed Helms ) returns from manager training, hoping for revenge on Nellie Bertram ( Catherine Tate ). Oscar Martinez ( Oscar Nunez ) considers adopting Angela Martin 's ( Angela Kinsey ) cat. Kevin Malone ( Brian Baumgartner ) "saves" a turtle. Kelly Kapoor ( Mindy Kaling ) leaves for Ohio , and Ryan Howard ( B. J. Novak ) follows after her.
|
(Seattle Scenes)
(MEREDITH'S TOWN HOUSE)
(Opens with Meredith lying in bed)
MVO: Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life.
(Cut to Meredith walking out the door of her house. Cut to Meredith driving down the highway to work. Cut to Staff Locker Room. A bunch of interns are gathered dressing and talking about Meredith)
Intern: She didn't even know he was married. I mean, his wife just shows up and he dumps her. I heard she flipped out.
Intern: What does she expect? She got what she deserved. Dating an attending!
Intern: Dating Mc Dreamy. Have you seen his hair? No guy is that perfect.
Intern: I think it's kinda sad. She has to work here. With him. With them. Everyone knows.
(Camera pans across to the other side of the lockers where Meredith is listening to them despondently)
MVO: Funny thing is once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking; the harder it becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need.
(Cut to a therapy session where Addison & Derek are receiving marriage counseling)
Therapist: What do you ah need to make this marriage work?
Derek: I need her to move to Seattle.
Addison: That's just ah ...
Therapist (interrupts): Addison, what do you need?
Addison: I need him to stop talking to Meredith.
Derek: Ah uh I work with her!
Addison: You want me to pick up my entire practice and move here? Fine! I want you to give up your girlfriend.
Derek: I did give up my girlfriend. Okay you wanted me to take you back, I took you back here in Seattle.
Addison: See once again it's all about what he wants.
Derek: Okay she's not listening to me. I'm not gonna move back to Manhattan. I'm not the same person you're used to.
Addison (interrupts): I know you're a flannel wearing, wood chopping fisherman. I get it!
Derek: Oh that's just great. I'm not gonna talk to her anymore if she's gonna behave like this.
(A timer dings)
Addison: Fine!
Therapist: Sorry guys. Times up. Good progress.
(They both look at him disbelievingly)
(Cut to George, Cristina & Izzie waiting at a nurse's station for Bailey for rounds)
George: Well we have to do something. Meredith's become like an exhibit. (Cristina groans) Like the ... (to Izzie) hey. Like a zoo animal, like that rare panda that everyone stares at.
Izzie: Please don't say that to her face. I think that panda died alone.
(Cristina chuckles)
George: This just could just as easily be you, if people knew about you and (he mouths silently) Burke.
Cristina: You take that back.
George: No. I'm just saying we should do something to cheer her up.
Izzie: Don't worry about it.
Cristina: It's under control.
George: Wait, what do you guys have going on?
Cristina & Izzie: Nothing.
George: What?
(Bailey & Meredith come up together to the nurse's station)
Bailey: Where's Karev?
Izzie: Probably off somewhere, not kissing somebody.
Bailey: Let's go O'Malley.
(They start walking off. Cristina, Izzie & Meredith follow a few feet behind them. Meredith has a funny look on her face)
Cristina: Ah hmm. Hey so um after rounds we have something to show you.
Izzie (looking at Meredith closely): Mer? Meredith, can you hear us?
Cristina: She's not deaf.
Izzie: Well, she looks weird.
Cristina: Well what did you expect? Derek didn't pick her, she's gone mental.
Izzie: Meredith have you gone mental?
Meredith: I have not gone mental.
Cristina: See, okay she's fine. (Excited) We have something to show you. So whatever you do, do not get assigned to a surgery this morning.
(They walk into an elevator, except for Meredith who sees Derek & Addison walk out of the elevator next to theirs. Meredith stares at them. A group of guys point and look at Meredith. Cristina comes out & takes Meredith into the elevator)
Cristina (to the guys): Yeah? Mind your own business.
(Cut to a patient's room. An elderly woman named Kimberley Griswold is lying on a hospital bed. Her husband is rushing around doing little things for her. Cristina, George, Izzie, Bailey & Burke are there)
Cristina: Mrs. Ah Kimberley Griswold. History of heart disease and multiple surgeries. In for a beating heart quadruple CABG.
(Alex walks in late)
Izzie: You're late.
Burke: Yes Karev, nice of you to join us. (He gives Alex a look and then returns to the chart) Why keep the heart beating Dr. Yang?
Cristina (looks at Izzie and then back at Burke): I don't know.
Bailey: What?
Cristina (very forced sounding): I have no idea.
(Bailey looks peeved and looks at Izzie)
Izzie: Oh I don't know either. Just don't.
Meredith: Because of the ... (Izzie elbows her and gives her a look) ... ow...
Burke: Anyone else?
Alex: Stress reduction because of the previous surgeries ...
Burke (interrupts): O'Malley.
Alex: I know, I know the answer.
Burke: I'm asking O'Malley.
George: Scar tissue is too deep. Heart's too weak to start up again so you only immobilize the portion you're working on and you leave the rest of the heart on its own.
(He gives a bewildered look to the girls. Alex leaves the room)
Burke: Welcome to the case.
George: Thank you.
Izzie (whispers to the 2 girls): Okay move.
Mrs. Griswold: What is that?
Mr. Griswold: PJs.
(Cut to outside of the hospital room in the hallway. Alex speaks to Bailey. Meredith, Izzie & Cristina huddle off to the side, whispering quietly)
Alex: That is unfair and you know it. He's punishing me for the elevator.
Bailey (angry): He's punishing you because you were late for rounds. You wanna tell me why you were late? (Alex is silent) Dr. Shepherd needs somebody on his nerve case today. Go.
(Alex walks off. Bailey turns around annoyed to face the 3 girls)
Bailey: And you three! Brush up on how to not embarrass me in front of the attendings or I'll see to it that your hearts stop beating. We clear?
(They murmur their apologies and scurry off. Bailey looks amazed at their behavior)
(Cut to Cristina, Meredith & Izzie walking down a stair way)
Meredith: What is going on?
Izzie: We found a case.
Meredith: You stole a case?
Cristina: Borrowed from psych. Okay the prelims on this thing is totally unprecedented.
Izzie (smiling): And we found it.
Meredith: Stole it.
Cristina: Found. Stole. Hijacked. Whatever. Okay, Meredith behind this door is the coolest medical mystery I have ever seen.
(They walk into a new hallway and to outside a patient's room)
Cristina: Now you can either walk away guilt free ...
Meredith: Mmm Hmm.
Cristina: ... or walk through this door, risk your place in the program which could possibly lead to spending the rest of your life serving fries in bad clothing. (Meredith gives her a look. Izzie looks excited) So are you in?
Meredith: Hell yeah.
(Izzie knocks on the door and they enter)
Cristina: Mr. Herman.
(The patient is hidden from view by a curtain)
Shane: Oh no please call me Shane. (He is sitting on the bed edging his way across slowly with his back to the girls) I gotta hit the can, again! (Cristina shuts the door behind them) Seems like I gotta go every 30 seconds these days.
Meredith (whispers): It's just a guy.
Cristina: Wait for it.
Izzie: Wait.
Shane: I sure am glad to be off that psych floor.
Meredith: What's so special?
Cristina (mutters): Wait for it.
(Shane has a hard time standing up. Meredith looks at him confused. He starts walking towards them to the bathroom)
Shane: I'm not nuts. I'm just pregnant.
(Camera pans down to show Shane's very swollen, pregnant like stomach. Meredith looks stunned. Cristina & Izzie giving her knowing looks)
(Outside SGH)
(Shane's room)
(Cut to Meredith, Izzie & Cristina helping Shane into his hospital bed)
Shane: I was fine and then last month, huge belly. My doctor just kept telling me I was gaining weight with my wife. She's due on the 30th. It's her first.
(Izzie & Cristina start checking out his stomach. Prodding it and putting a stethoscope to it)
Meredith: Congratulations.
Cristina: The admitting intern shipped him off to Psych. Barely did a physical. (to Izzie) Feel that.
Izzie: It's not fluid. There's something in there.
Shane: Yeah no joke there's something in there. I've been able to feel it getting bigger and bigger, growing in my ... you know ... my womb. (The girls share looks) Yeah I know I sound crazy. I do ... but I can prove it.
(Debbie a middle aged nurse comes into the room)
Debbie: This room is supposed to be unoccupied. Whose patient is this?
Cristina & Izzie (point at each other): Hers.
(Shane looks confused)
Debbie: Who transferred him? I don't have any paperwork, any transfer documents.
Cristina (dismissive): Give me a break. We shuffle rooms all the time. You know if ah we need a bedpan changed, um we'll let you know.
(She grabs a curtain and closes to conceal Shane)
Debbie: Okay doctor you do that.
(Debbie leaves)
Meredith: Okay where's his chart? (Cristina & Izzie look at each other) Don't tell me you don't have his chart. You steal a patient and you don't take the chart.
Cristina (to Izzie): That was your job.
Izzie: Yeah I was on lookout.
(Cut to Psych office. An Indian psych intern, Raj is sitting there looking through some files. Meredith comes to the window and knocks on it. He looks confused and opens the window for Meredith)
Meredith: How you doing? You good?
(He looks thoroughly confused. Behind him at the same time at the doorway, Izzie & Cristina attempt to steal Shane's patient chart)
Meredith: You look good. Come on we're friends.
Raj: What's my name?
(Meredith looks to his name badge, but he covers it quickly with his hand)
Meredith: Um. Alright. So I don't know your name.
(He turns around suspiciously but Izzie & Cristina duck out of view)
Meredith: It's not like we can't talk. (He turns back to face Meredith) You don't have to be a surgeon for me to talk to you, you know.
Raj (sarcastic): Really?
Meredith: Really.
Raj: Cause I thought you only talk to attendings.
(Cristina grabs the chart & runs out. Raj closes the window in front of Meredith's face)
(Cut to patient room where a young asian girl named Nicole is sitting in a wheelchair. Her parents are with her. Dr. Shepherd & Alex are in the room as well)
Derek: Now Nicole you've been having problems with spasticity?
Nicole: Mom?
Mrs. Verma: She's says the spasms make her legs dance.
Mr. Verma: We just want to make things a little easier for her. She starts college this fall.
(Nicole smiles shyly at Alex who smiles back)
Derek: Ah.
Mrs. Verma: Seattle Community. Right down the street from us.
Mr. Verma: Not that she wouldn't have her pick of schools out of state.
Mrs. Verma: But she's not ready for that yet.
Alex (winking at Nicole): Why, not because she's in a wheelchair?
Derek: Has Dr. Ostfeld named something called a cystoplasty? No? It's an operation to enlarge Nicole's bladder. It creates an opening called a stoma. It's improved the quality of life in a lot of my paralysis patients.
Mr. Verma: We toyed with the idea a few years ago.
Mrs. Verma: It's not for us.
Mr. Verma: Maybe we should re-visit it.
Mrs. Verma: Re-visit an invasive risky procedure that's got a 20 percent failure rate? I don't think so.
Derek: Nicole, it's something worth considering. It means you wouldn't have to wear a catheter all the time. Not to mention the medical benefits, it ah would improve your quality of life. You know? You'd be like girls your own age. You'd be in control of your own bladder, no messy bags. You'd have a more normal s*x life.
(Nicole looks down shyly at this. Her mother looks extremely uncomfortable by the idea)
Derek: You know when that becomes an issue, of course.
Mrs. Verma (to Nicole): We're here for the pain procedure. That's it.
(Cut to Derek & Alex outside in the hallway)
Alex: That girl and her mom share the same brain. She's not getting that surgery.
Derek: I want you to take Nicole with you, everywhere you go today. Take her to labs, take her to coffee, take her anywhere. Just get her away from her parents.
Alex: You want me to baby-sit the wheelchair chick?
Derek: Nicole. She thinks you're cute. She's a teenager, which means she might even listen to you.
Alex (accusingly): You want me to convince her to get that surgery.
Derek: I want you to convince her to make the decision for herself.
Alex: And how am I supposed to do that?
Derek: Dr. Karev, you're creative. You'll think of something. Thank you.
(Derek walks off)
(Cut to Mrs. Griswold's room. Dr. Burke is doing a physical exam on her. George is there as well. Mr. Griswold is running around the room doing stuff for his wife)
Burke: This will be an extensive operation, even for an open heart veteran like yourself.
Mrs. Griswold: My room was bigger last time. It was brighter. More sun. (to her husband) Alan this water is warm, I need more ice. (Mr. Griswold hurries to grab more ice)
Burke: I'm sending you in for a nuclear scan. Then we'll get you into the OR this afternoon. You do understand all of the risks?
Mrs. Griswold: I've been through it too many times to not understand the risks. (to her husband in demanding voice) Get the blinds. Open the blinds. This room is depressing.
(Mr. Griswold rushes to open the blinds)
Burke: I'll check back a little later.
(Mr. Griswold opens the blinds, but his wife makes a face indicating it's too bright so he tries to adjust it. Dr. Burke & George start heading out of the room)
Burke: Take her for a thallium scan. Pick up her x-rays on the way.
George: Dr. Burke, thank you for choosing me to assist you today.
Burke: You're my guy, O'Malley.
George: You I'm, I am? I mean ... yeah.
Mrs. Griswold (to her husband): Hand me the tissues. ... No, no, no wait. Hospital have germs, get my hand sanitizer out of my case.
(Dr. Burke & George walk out of the room)
George: Why would you be with someone who makes you that unhappy?
Burke: Excuse me?
George: I mean like, well like you're happy with Cristina. I mean, she's happy. Well happier. You know, Cristina happy which is not normal people's happy but ... (Dr. Burke just stares at him. George gets a little uncomfortable) You know happy since you guys started ah ... (George realizes he should just stop talking) Scans I'm on it. I'm your guy.
(Dr. Burke walks off)
George: And I'm an idiot.
(Cut to Cristina, Meredith & Izzie coming out of an elevator looking over Shane's chart excitedly. They run into Derek without noticing)
Derek: Hi. Hello. Hi. Meredith, maybe we could you know ah talk?
(Meredith just stares at him silent)
Cristina & Izzie (shaking their heads): No.
(They pull Meredith away)
Derek: Okay.
(Cut to Alex pushing Nicole in her wheelchair coming out of an elevator into a hallway)
Alex: Beep beep.
Nicole: What'd you do to get stuck with me?
Alex: Nothing.
Nicole: Come on, I know you're not just wheeling me around for kicks.
Alex: No. I was late for rounds.
Nicole: Why?
Alex: Ah because I had things to do. (He sees Izzie, Meredith & Cristina walking down a hallway through some double doors) Hey Izzie!
(They continue walking. He chases after her still pushing Nicole)
Alex (calls out): Izzie! ... Hey dollface!
(Izzie gestures for the others to continue. She turns around to face Alex)
Alex: Oh I was gonna ask you a favor since you know maybe you're better with people than I am ...
Izzie (interrupts, voice cold): No.
(She turns to walk away)
Alex: But you haven't even heard what ...
(She turns back)
Izzie (interrupts angry): No! No. You're like a broken record. God. You're only ever nice or friendly or anything when it's convenient for you. So no to your favor. No to you. No.
(She starts walking off again)
Alex: What's up with you?
(She turns around again really pissed)
Izzie (really angry): I put on a dress! I did my hair! I had one night off in 2 weeks and I used it on you. And what do I get? Nothing. No respect. No apology. You couldn't even be bothered to ... kiss me goodnight. You know what you're a coward and you're just as shallow as you seem. So I am done trying to be your friend or whatever. I'm over it.
(She walks off down the hallway through some double doors. Alex looks stunned)
Nicole: She's really mad at you.
(Cut to Shane's room. His pregnant wife is sitting on his bed. Cristina is talking to her. Shane is in the bathroom, Meredith is outside waiting for him)
Meredith: The urine sample is last thing we need, Mr. Herman.
(Izzie walks into the room as well)
Cristina: Ah, meet Shane's wife, Tina.
Izzie: Hey.
Cristina: She's also pregnant.
(Shane comes out the bathroom with a jar of urine)
Meredith: And can you tell us what precipitated the psychotic episode that got you admitted to the hospital.
Shane: It wasn't an episode, ok? And I'm not psychotic. I am pregnant! I mean wouldn't, wouldn't you freak out if you were me? (to his wife) Honey did you bring it?
Tina: Yeah, yeah.
Shane: Oh good. (He starts rummaging around through a brown paper bag) I can prove to everyone I'm not crazy.
(Raj the psych intern walks in)
Raj: That is my patient!
Izzie: Uh oh.
Cristina: Yeah well he's ours now. And if you want to fight me for it, I'll guarantee you I'll win.
(Shane has a stick and dips it into the urine jar. Bailey has entered the room at this point)
Bailey: Now, what is going on in here?
Cristina: Dr. Bailey, (to Shane) just a moment please. (to Bailey) Look at his abdomen.
(Raj rushes over to them)
Raj: It's a male hysterical pregnancy. It's a psych case. (He slaps Shane's stomach) And it's mine!
Shane: It's not hysterical! I am pregnant.
(Izzie is distracted by the pregnancy test stick Shane used)
Raj: See? Psych!
Cristina: No his belly is distended. There's no signs of ascites and I clearly feel a mass with deep palpation. Surgical.
Izzie (softly): Guys.
Shane (sees the stick): Told you I could prove it.
Raj: Psych.
Cristina: Surgical.
Bailey: Eh, come on now. You're doctors. Act like it.
(Izzie picks up the pregnancy stick)
Izzie: Guys.
Raj: Psych!
Cristina: Surgical!
Raj: Psych!
Cristina: Surgical!
Raj: Psych!
Cristina: Surgical!
Izzie (loudly): Guys! (They all look at her) Shane took a pregnancy test and it's positive.
(Cristina glaring at Raj, hands Shane's chart to Bailey)
Bailey: He's definitely a surgical patient now.
(Cristina & Izzie exchange satisfied looks. Raj looks disappointed)
(Cut to about a dozen people in Shane's room now. There's a photographer taking photos and Addison is doing an ultrasound)
Bailey (softly to Izzie & Cristina): Do not think for a moment I condone stealing patients. That said ... way to go.
Shane: The first pregnancy test I took was a joke, to make Tina laugh.
Tina: We didn't think it would lead to ... you know, this.
Addison: Mr. Herman, I can assure you, you are in no way pregnant.
Shane: Wooh. It's a relief to hear it, you know officially. (Addison leaves the room) But hey, why was that stick blue?
Bailey: Well that's what we're gonna find out. Uh, Stevens do a shot gun work up, including tumor markers. And get CT to make some room for us in line. Shane (weirded out by the camera): What's this for again?
(Someone's beeper goes off)
Izzie: Ah medical journals, monthly case reports.
Cristina: Annual banquet highlight reels.
(They both pose for a picture with Shane. A beeper goes off again)
Bailey: Ah hey! Whose pager is that?
Cristina: Um, um, mine. But I found him, so can someone else go?
Bailey (interrupts): What do you ... no! We don't ignore pages Yang.
(She makes a gesture for Cristina to leave. Cristina leaves the room. Shane is looking uncomfortable at the attention. Dr. Bailey makes her way to Shane's bedside with a measuring tape)
Bailey: Excuse me. (She measures Shane's stomach) Here. Just need to get to the top.
Meredith: We'll be finished soon right, Dr. Bailey?
(Dr. Bailey doesn't appear to hear her as she too is also half posing for the photographer)
(Cut to Cristina at a Nurse's desk. Debbie hands her a pile of patient charts)
Debbie: Patient in 4243 needs a rectal. Then I've got 2 infected wounds, a foley, a grown abscess, 4 debridements and ah ... case of explosive diarrhea.
Cristina: You're kidding me right?
Debbie: I'm not known for my humor.
Cristina: Ah uh why did you page me? ... ah none of these are my patients.
Debbie: You're Bailey's intern right? Then these are you're patients. (A phone rings at the desk and Debbie answers) Debbie here.
(Cut to Derek walking up some stairs in the hospital with Nicole's parents)
Derek: A portion of the intestine is used to enlarge the bladder. Then we construct a pathway for a whole new belly button. It's a very tiny hole that's virtually invisible. She can wear a bikini and no one would ever know.
Mrs. Verma: Why would she need a bikini? She doesn't know how to swim.
Derek: She could to the beach. Lie in the sun. Hang out with her friends.
Mr. Verma: Oh my god, she's so self conscious now.
Derek: Right, exactly.
Mr. Verma (to his wife): Nicole could have friends her own age Elaine.
Mrs. Verma (to Derek): When did you say Nicole would be back?
Derek: After her labs. Now just think about her future. Nicole could be independent. She could go to college anywhere. She could have a job, have her own apartment. Date. Get married.
Mrs. Verma: These labs are taking a long time.
Mr. Verma: She can spend more than 20 minutes away from us, Elaine.
Mrs. Verma: I'm asking about my only child.
Mr. Verma: She's not a child anymore.
Mrs. Verma: She's my child. She'll always be my child.
(Cut to George wheeling Mrs. Griswold in a wheelchair down a hospital hallway to get her nuclear scan. Mr. Griswold is walking with them)
Mrs. Griswold: Alan!
Mr. Griswold: Yes?
Mrs. Griswold: Watch your step, you're hitting my chair.
Mr. Griswold: I'm sorry.
Mrs. Griswold: And hold onto my bag.
Mr. Griswold: I've got it.
Mrs. Griswold: And don't rummage through it.
Mr. Griswold: I won't.
(George hands Mrs. Griswold over to a tech at the scan room who takes Mrs. Griswold into the room. George & Mr. Griswold remain outside)
Mr. Griswold: Please and thank yous were never her strong suit.
George: You're a very patient person.
Mr. Griswold: Years of practice. (The strap of Mrs. Griswold bag comes undone) Woops.
(George takes the bag off him and starts putting the strap back in its place)
Mr. Griswold: I just try to keep her calm. You know they didn't think they she was gonna survive the 1st surgery, let alone 3 more. Here it is 10 years later, she's still here. Yeah it's a miracle that she's still alive. That's what everyone says.
George: What do you say?
Mr. Griswold: Uh, it's right there in the vows. In sickness and in health, right? (George nods and hands Mr. Griswold the bag back fixed) Thanks.
(Cut to Meredith, Cristina & Izzie eating lunch in the outdoor hospital cafeteria. Meredith is reading a magazine. George comes down and sits at their table with his food)
George (annoyed): Pregnant guy? You had a pregnant guy and didn't tell me?
Izzie: Well, we can get you floor space in the OR for 50 bucks.
(Cristina chuckles)
Meredith (serious): You're selling tickets and we don't even know what's wrong with him.
Cristina: Whatever he's got inside has got to come out. We're just brokering a few deals.
Izzie: Sort of like backstage passes. Want in on the cash?
Meredith (shakes her head): No.
George: I didn't need a pregnant guy! I was Burke's new go to guy. (speaks to Cristina) But that's over thanks to you. He didn't know that I knew about you two.
Cristina: Stop talking.
Izzie (smiles and then looks up at something): What on earth?
(Alex wheels Nicole to their table with both their lunches. The rest of them look at him questioningly)
Nicole: Hi ... I'm Alex's charity case.
Cristina: Huh, I like her already.
George: Are you volunteering?
Alex: Don't ask.
Izzie: Why? It's not like we can read your mind. It's not like we have any idea what's going on in your tiny, tiny, tiny little brain.
Cristina: She has a point. (her pager goes off. frustrated) I am hungry!
(She gets up and leaves)
Nicole: So this is cool. A real live lunchtime. In a real cafeteria with trays and friends.
Izzie: We're not his friends.
George: Don't they have a cafeteria at your school?
Nicole: I'm home schooled by my parents.
Alex: That explains a lot.
Nicole: So are you guys the cool kids around here or something?
Meredith: What would make you think that?
Nicole: It seems like everyone is talking about you.
(Meredith looks at up at this from her magazine and sure enough people sitting at various tables are looking over and talking pointedly about Meredith. Meredith goes back to her magazine)
(Cut to CT imaging, where Shane is about to get his CT scan. Meredith & Izzie are there)
CT Tech: The guys and I were taking bets on who would get to scan this dude. (She gestures to a pocket full of money) Beers are on me tonight. Next up the wager on what this thing is.
Meredith: You're taking bets?
CT Tech: On what's inside his belly. You want in? 10 bucks.
Izzie: Well we know its not fat, fluid or fetus, so ...
(They peer close at the scanned images coming up on the screen)
CT Tech: Jeez.
Meredith: Are those teeth?
Izzie (smiling): Cristina is gonna be so mad she missed this.
(Cut to Cristina walking down a hallway to a patient's room in which the male nurse Tyler has just walked out of)
Tyler: I was told to page you and only you if something like this came up.
Cristina: Who told you? Bailey? (You can hear the patient vomiting from outside) No.
Tyler: Oh yes. And all I can say is you must've made one serious faux pas.
(He hands her a tub)
Cristina: I hate vomit.
Tyler (hands her cloth to cover her mouth): You're gonna need this.
(He walks off. Cristina looks to the side and make's eye contact with Dr. Bailey who can only raise her eyebrows back at Cristina which can almost be interpreted as you deserve it. You can hear the patient vomit again)
(Cut to Cristina walking up to Burke who is standing in front of the OR board. Their conversation is conducted in hushed tones)
Cristina: Bailey knows.
Burke: Knows what?
Cristina (she stresses the 2nd word): She knows.
Burke: Well, O'Malley knows, why not Bailey?
Cristina: So you didn't tell her?
Burke: Why would I do that?
Cristina: This is bad.
Burke: We have to manage the damage ourselves before this thing spins to far out of control. And that means coming clean to the chief.
Cristina: What?
Burke: If we come out into the open, then no one has anything to say.
Cristina: No, no, no way. No way.
Burke: That's the only way.
Cristina: No.
(Richard has walked up the hallway and is standing right behind them now)
Richard: Good morning.
Burke: Morning chief.
Cristina: Ah thank you Dr. Burke. (she walks off)
Burke: You're welcome. (to Richard) Great board Chief.
(Burke leaves as well. Richard is left standing confused)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Cut to Mrs. Griswold's room where she is lying in bed again. Mr. Griswold is sitting on the bed opposite to her. George is taking her blood pressure)
Mrs. Griswold (to her husband condescending): Could you make sure that they get the breathing tube out of my throat right after surgery this time? (to George) Are you trying to cut off my circulation?
Mr. Griswold: He's just doing his job.
Mrs. Griswold: What did you say?
Mr. Griswold: I said he's just doing his job.
Mrs. Griswold: Well I don't really care whose job he's doing, he's squeezing my arm off. Are you just gonna sit there? Mr. Griswold (takes a deep breath): Shut up, Kim. (she looks at him questioningly) Just shut up, huh?
George (tries to interrupt): Hey.
Mr. Griswold: You complain to me, about me ...
(Mrs. Griswold's heart monitor starts beeping faster)
George (tries again): Maybe ...
Mr. Griswold (gets louder): Around me. All day! Everyday! A little silence would be nice. A few measly minutes of quiet.
George: Mr. Griswold!
Mr. Griswold (yells): Can't you just for once in your life just shut up?
(Mrs. Griswold has trouble breathing and heart monitor beeps rapidly. George rushes to her)
(Cut to Dr. Burke entering Mrs. Griswold's room where there a now a few nurses there as well)
Burke: What do we got?
George: She had a Levine sign. EKG shows ST elevations in the inferior leads.
Burke: She's having a heart attack. Give her 4mg of morphine. Run nitro. 10 mics per minute. Lets do this fast so we can get her into surgery people.
Mr. Griswold (sighs): I did this. ... I did this to her.
(Cut to Shane's room where Izzie, Dr. Bailey & Richard are looking at Shane's CT scans. Meredith is at Shane's bedside. There are some other doctors and nurses in their taking pictures with their mobile phones or cameras and pointing and looking)
Bailey: A mesenteric teratoma chief.
Izzie: In an adult male!
Richard: Is this possible?
Bailey: It is now. Large bilobed cystic lesion.
Izzie: With a solid calcified structure.
Richard: A deformed mandible.
(Richard walks up to Shane fascinated and checks out his stomach)
Bailey: Labs show elevated HCG levels that explains the false positive on the pregnancy test.
Izzie: Which also means ...
Richard: ... probably malignant.
Meredith (to Shane): You ok? You look a little green. (Shane sighs) I think he needs some air Chief.
Richard: Deep breaths Mr. Herman.
Shane (to Meredith): It's just that most of this medical speak goes right over my head.
Izzie: You have what's called a teratoma. And it's really very rare in adults.
Meredith: Which is why you're so popular. It's just a mass of cells that's probably been there your whole life only now ...
Izzie: ... now it's growing.
Shane: Yeah growing jawbones and toe nails and ah clumps of hair. Yeah I've been listening.
Tina (a little upset): It's just that nobody's really talking to us.
Meredith: Just about you. I know what that's like.
(Cristina comes rushing into the room)
Cristina: Uh what, what did I miss?
Izzie: Ew, is that ... is that rectal jelly on your scrubs?
(Cristina looks at her scrubs but then her pager goes off. Cristina half groans and leaves the room again. Meredith makes her way over to Dr. Bailey away from Shane's bedside)
Meredith: Dr. Bailey, all the attention. All the people, they're making them panic.
(Cut to Addison & Derek standing on the rooftop of some building in Seattle)
Derek: You know when you said you found a lunch spot with a view I knew I should've taken you literally.
Addison: I found it in my best of Seattle guide. It's hardly brown bagging and top of the Empire State building but ... they do have these cute little viewfinders.
Derek: You always find something to complain about.
Addison: Okay is there anything that you like about me anymore? Because if there is I really need to know now.
Derek: Well I like that you like cute little viewfinders in every city you live in.
Addison: I don't live here yet. (There's silence for a bit) Are you gonna stop talking to Meredith?
Derek: I will.
Addison: When? ... Today, tomorrow, next week?
Derek: Maybe I'm not ready yet.
Addison: Are you ever gonna be ready, Derek?
Derek: What if I say no?
Addison: Then I'm not moving here.
Derek: Well, I guess we're at an impasse then.
(Cut to Cristina walking up the stairs outside the O.R board, Burke is walking on the floor with OR board and calls out to her)
Burke: Dr. Yang. We never finished our conversation.
Cristina: Yes we did. We decided we're not gonna tell you know who about us.
Burke: We decided? If you're worried about your career, your reputation, they're in much more danger if he hears about us through the grapevine.
(Cristina comes back down the stairs to meet Burke)
Cristina: He doesn't have to hear about us at all.
Burke: Only he will. It's just a matter of time. Unless you're hesitating because of some, some different reason.
Cristina: You are not thinking this through.
Burke: Like not wanting to admit to this relationship at all.
Cristina: We are a couple.
Burke: Fine.
(He walks off upset)
Cristina: Burke.
Burke: I said fine.
(He continues walking)
(Cut to Alex wheeling Nicole to the abandoned hallway hangout)
Alex: So what's up with you not wanting to get this procedure?
Nicole: I'm fine the way I am.
Alex: Good point. Your choice.
(He pushes her wheelchair away from him and goes to a cabinet and pulls out some medical texts. He sits on a hospital bed and starts reading)
Nicole: So you're not gonna try and talk me into it?
Alex: Right now I'm gonna study.
Nicole: Nuclear something fancy name-ology. Is that why you were late? You were studying?
Alex: No.
Nicole: Is that girl Izzie your girlfriend?
Alex: No.
Nicole: Do you want her to be your girlfriend?
Alex: Look I got stuck with you because I was late for rounds so if you don't mind kid, kinda busy.
Nicole: I'm 18, you know.
Alex: What?
Nicole: I'm not a kid. I'm 18. And ... and I don't have to stay down here with you. I could go back to my room.
Alex: So go.
Nicole: Izzie's right. You're an ass.
Alex: And I'm not an ass. Yeah okay I am an ass. But I'm a cute ass, right?
Nicole (huffs): How come you didn't kiss her?
Alex: I thought you were leaving.
Nicole: If I had a chance to kiss someone I liked, I wouldn't hesitate.
Alex: If I had the chance to lose the urine bag around my ankle I wouldn't hesitate either. Then again I don't let my mommy do all my talking for me.
(He smirks at her)
Nicole: I don't like you.
Alex: Yes, you do.
Nicole: Jerk.
Alex: Motor mouth.
Nicole: Baby-sitter.
Alex: Two-wheeler.
Nicole (chuckles): Now that's just politically incorrect.
(Alex smiles back)
(Cut to the O.R. where Burke is operating on Mrs. Griswold. George is standing next to him assisting)
Burke: Ok, looks like Mrs. Griswold is doing well.
(Camera pans up to the gallery where a bunch of interns are watching the surgery including Meredith, Izzie & Cristina. You can hear Dr. Burke murmuring about the surgery. Derek walks into the gallery. Everyone turns to look at him. He hesitates walking in and decides to stay at the doorway. They turn back to look at the surgery)
Cristina: Look at that. Perfectly exposed partially numb beating heart. It's a beautiful thing.
Burke: Code red!
(Camera pans back down to the surgery. Mrs. Griswold's heart has caught on fire. Yes on fire!)
Izzie (amazed): Oh I think it just caught on fire.
George: The heart's on fire.
Burke: We have to save Mrs. Griswold. Begin fire protocol.
George: I'm on it.
Burke: Code red! Begin fire protocol. (George puts out the fire with water) Move people! O'Malley disconnect the electrical leads.
George: Got it.
(George begins disconnecting the leads)
Burke: Any unnecessary personnel in this room evacuate now! Shut down the O2.
George: Already on it.
(He shuts it down)
Burke: Start manual respiration.
(All the interns are standing watching the surgery intently)
George: Okay I got the ambu bag. Starting manual respiration.
Burke: I gotta control this bleeding. Her vitals are stabilizing. We might just have a chance.
(Cut to Izzie, Cristina & Meredith sitting on the stairs outside the OR board)
Meredith (dazed): She was on fire.
Izzie: I have never seen anything like that. What was that?
Cristina: A freak accident.
Meredith (dazed): She was on fire.
Cristina: Uh yeah you've already said that.
Meredith (still dazed): I know but she was. On fire.
(George walks by the stairs)
Cristina: George. You okay?
George: She was on fire.
(Cristina stands up when she sees Burke walking by)
Cristina: Hey that was intense, are you okay?
(he continues walking)
Burke: I'm fine. O'Malley lets go.
(They both walking. Cristina's pager goes off)
Cristina (sighs): I'm so over this.
(Cut to Cristina walking up to Dr. Bailey who is at a nurse's station. Cristina coughs lightly to get her attention)
Bailey: Uh hey I heard a heard a heart caught on fire? In the OR?
Cristina: I am the best intern you've got and you are wasting me on puke and boils. And I get it and I even deserve it but please you can't keep me away from this surgery. I earned this surgery! I stole this surgery!
Bailey (genuinely confused): What are you talking about, Yang?
Cristina: You. Punishing me. (Bailey raises her eyebrows at her as if to say what are you on about) You have no idea what I'm talking about do you? (Bailey just looks at her) Well then like who has been paging me all day? The nurses have been on me non-stop.
Debbie (sitting at the computer at the nurse's station): A little bit of respect and you could have saved yourself a very long day, Dr. Yang.
Bailey (to Cristina smiling): Pissing of the nurses? ... Stupid.
Cristina: Well, I can still scrub in right?
(Cut to Addison and Richard standing in an empty gallery by themselves watching a surgery)
Addison: He wants me to move here Richard. To pick up everything and move!
Richard: Don't stay for him Addison. Stay for me. Stay for yourself.
Addison: Richard, I ...
Richard (interrupts): In Seattle you can be front page news. With your reputation and the money I'm willing to put in promoting you. Seattle Grace will become one of the foremost neonatal hospitals west of Manhattan.
(Addison smiles shyly. She looks at Richard who just stares back)
Addison: You're serious?
Richard: I'm ready to put my money where my mouth is.
(Cut to Derek coming out a room into a hallway. He sees Meredith standing by herself at a nurse's desk a few feet away. He starts making towards her. All of sudden Bailey steps in front of him)
Bailey: Turn around. Walk away.
Derek: From what?
Bailey: From my intern.
Derek: But I wasn't ...
Bailey: Uh yeah, yes you were. Come on, look. You can't do this. You don't have the right. Not anymore.
Derek: I just wanna find out if she's okay.
Bailey: No she's not! She's a human traffic accident and everybody is slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left. Look I know you can't see this because you're in it but you can't help her now. It'll only make it worse. Walk away. Leave her to mend.
(Derek sighs but doesn't move. Dr. Bailey gets exasperated)
Bailey: Go on!
(He nods slightly and walks off)
(Cut to Alex wheeling Nicole down a hospital hallway)
Nicole: It's not like I don't want the operation. I do you know. I want things. It's just ... what if I'm not ready?
Alex: Ready for what?
Nicole: For everything. For taking care of myself. For being on my own. For s*x. For love. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been kissed. I'm like the oldest living prospective college freshman not to go to first base.
Alex: Nah.
Nicole: It's mortifying.
Alex: There are way older losers than you. Trust me.
(Nicole stops the wheels of the wheelchair. Alex comes around to face her)
Nicole: Alex. Would you kiss me?
Alex (chuckles): Wh, What?
Nicole: I know you're a doctor, I'm your patient and, and it's against the rules but I would never tell anyone.
(Alex looks down both sides of the hallways to see if anyone is looking. There is nobody else there. He bends down close to Nicole who closes her eyes expectantly)
Alex: For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it be with someone you can't get out of your head. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. (Nicole opens her eyes) A kiss so hot and so deep you never wanna come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss, Nicole. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find the right person to first kiss. (He grins) It's everything!
(Nicole smiles broadly)
(Cut to a waiting room where Mr. Griswold is sitting with his wife's bag. Dr. Burke & George are sitting across from him)
Mr. Griswold: Her heart
Burke: ...caught on fire? Yes. There will of course be an investigation but you should know this is not as unusual as it sounds. Your wife is going to be fine. She's well. Um we completed the operation and I expect that she will make a fully recovery.
Mr. Griswold: Oh.
(He has his hands covering his face and half chuckles)
George: Mr. Griswold?
(Mr. Griswold starts laughing hysterically briefly)
Mr. Griswold: So that's it, isn't it? Her heart caught on fire in the middle of her 5th open heart operation. And she survived!
(He bursts out laughing again)
Mr. Griswold: Whoa. Well she's like some a, some mythical monster.
(George looks concerned and stunned. Dr. Burke just kinda smiles at with Mr. Griswold)
Mr. Griswold: She's never gonna die.
Burke: Mr. Griswold? Mr. Griswold.
Mr. Griswold: Mmm Hmm.
Burke: I know this is an emotional time for you. Um if you would like to wait ...
Mr. Griswold (interrupts): Wait? No, no. (He stands up) I'm not waiting any longer. (He thrusts Mrs. Griswold's bag into George's hands. He grabs his coat and starts to walk off) You tell her, tell her ... hell, tell her ... she'll survive without me!
(He starts laughing again and wanders to the elevator. He salutes George & Dr. Burke who just sit there)
(Cut to Shane's room where there are quiet a gathering of people now. Everyone is laughing and taking photos. Izzie & Cristina are taking money from people. Some are poking Shane's belly. Meredith comes into the room angry)
Meredith (yells): What is going on in here? (They all stop talking) Everybody out! Out!
Raj: We already have ...
Meredith (walks further into the room, interrupting): Mr. Herman is a patient! (People start leaving the room) A surgical patient who's sick and embarrassed! (Shane & Tina look grateful) And tired of being stared at! (to Cristina & Izzie) You two! This isn't a zoo! Out! Out! Out! You know if all of you want to point and whisper and stare at me, knock yourselves out! Look at Meredith, isn't she sad and pathetic and heartbroken. Maybe she's gone mental, maybe I have! But leave Mr. Herman alone!
(Almost everyone has left the room. She walks with Cristina & Izzie to the door)
Meredith (to Cristina): You should be ashamed of yourself! (She closes the door behind her. Derek comes to an entrance outside the room and stares at Meredith. She notices) And what are you looking at?
(Cut to Dr. Burke and George still sitting in the waiting room where Mr. Griswold left them. George has a dumbfounded look on his face and is holding Mrs. Griswold's bag on his lap. Dr. Burke looks like he's pondering)
George (dazed): So, so do you tell his wife or should I?
(Dr. Burke cracks up laughing. George chuckles with him)
Burke (no longer laughing): I wanna thank you for helping me out in the surgery today, O'Malley. It was a high-pressure situation today and you were on top of it.
George: Well thank you Dr. Burke. (Dr. Burke nods) And hey I'm sorry about before about you know (he puts his hand on Dr. Burke's shoulder) bringing up you and Cristina. (Dr. Burke stops smiling and just stares at him. George trails off) and just like ...
(George sees his look and removes his hand. Dr. Burke stands up and starts walking away. George sighs and brings his head down to rest on Mrs. Griswold's bag as if to say I'm an idiot)
Burke: You're still my guy, O'Malley. (George sits up quickly and nods but still looks slightly sick at himself) Still my guy.
(Seattle Scenes)
(SGH, ELEVATOR)
(Cut to Shane lying in a hospital bed prepped for surgery. Tina is holding his hand. There are other doctor's there including Meredith)
Shane (to Tina): I always thought I'd hold your hand in the delivery room.
Meredith: I'll let you know when the surgery is over, ok?
Tina: Ok. (The elevator dings open. She speaks to Shane): This is far as I go.
(They start wheeling Shane down a hallway to an OR room)
Shane: Hey Dr. Grey, don't let them show it off. You know, put it in a jar, pass it around or nothing.
Meredith: Your teratoma?
Shane: Yeah. I just feel weird about having my insides on display like that. You promise?
Meredith: I promise.
(Cut to Richard, Bailey, Cristina & Izzie are removing the teratoma from Shane's stomach. The gallery is crowded with people taking photos and watching. The song Get Through" by Mark Joseph plays from now until the end credits in the background)
MVO: At the end of the day there are some things you just can't help but talk about.
Bailey: You really want to be the one to dispose of this Grey?
Meredith: I made a promise.
(Cut to Burke walking down a mezzanine hallway. Cristina is towards him)
Cristina: I am worried about my career. I'm worried about my reputation. I'm ...
(She stops talking when Burke just keeps on walking past her. Burke slowly stops and walks back to her. They look at each other)
Cristina: I will not be Meredith Grey. I busted my ass to get here and people won't make allowances for me ...
Burke (interrupts): This is not about making allowances and you know that.
Cristina: Everyone will know.
Burke: That's the point.
Cristina (stern): I don't want to tell the Chief, okay? I just ... don't.
MVO: Some things we just don't want to hear.
(Burke doesn't say anything and walks away from her)
MVO: And some things we say because we can't be silent any longer.
(Cut to Alex wheeling Nicole back to her room where Derek and her parents are waiting)
Nicole: I'm getting the operation.
Mrs. Verma: She's clearly not considering ...
Mr. Verma (interrupts): She is considering.
Nicole: I'm getting the operation. You two talk and talk but do you notice how you never ask me anything? Part of it is my fault, I let you do it. But I'm not cheating anymore. I'm not sitting back and giving over control because I am ready to handle things for myself.
MVO: Some things are more than what you say. They're what you do.
(Cut to Dr. Burke sitting in Richard's office, talking with him)
Richard: I appreciate your candor, Preston.
Burke: I can take whatever you threw at Shepherd. I don't need any special treatment here.
Richard: And your not gonna get any. You're not married. You're not hiding. You came to me. You clearly value your relationship.
Burke: Mmm hmm.
Richard: What you two have together. (Cristina watches through a window from the outside) I understand that, Preston. And it does matter.
MVO: Some things you say because there's no other choice.
(Burke glances at Cristina. Richard turns around and looks at her. Cristina sighs and walks away looking mildly upset)
(Cut to the therapist's office where Derek & Addison are sitting again with their therapist)
Addison: I've given it a lot of consideration and I've decided to move to Seattle.
Derek: And ah ... well Meredith won't be an issue anymore she's out of my life. It's well, it's taken care of.
Therapist: Well ah I must say this is ah remarkable progress. I applaud both of you. You've ah taken a very significant leap.
Addison: That's what marriage is about. Compromise, right?
(She holds out her hand to Derek to take. He just looks at it)
Derek: Yeah it's uh ah, well it's about ah well give and take.
MVO: Some things you keep to yourself.
(He puts out his hand to Addison who's already removed hers and then takes it back quickly)
(Cut to Joe's bar. Joe is wiping some glasses. Izzie, Cristina & George are sitting at the bar. Izzie is counting cash from Shane's surgery. George is drinking a beer)
Joe: She yelled at you?
Izzie: Well, we probably deserved it. We sold 485 dollars worth of tickets to the surgery.
Cristina (sly): Yeah.
Izzie: Did you sell more?
Cristina (pulls out a wad of cash from her back pocket): Oh, yeah.
Izzie: You're out of control.
(George & Joe chuckle. Meredith comes up to the bar and sits next to Izzie)
Meredith: Hey, Joe.
Joe: Hey.
(They all keep quiet and just sip their drinks)
Meredith (says as a statement): So you guys really don't have anything else to talk about.
Izzie: No.
Cristina: No.
George: No.
(Alex wanders through the door with a determined look on his face and walks right up to Izzie)
MVO: And not too often ... but every now and then ...
Izzie (confused): What?
(Alex just stares at her)
Izzie: What?
MVO: ... some things simply speak for themselves.
(Alex dips her backwards off the bar stool and kisses her passionately! They kiss for a bit. He pulls her back up)
Alex: Good night.
(And he leaves through door again)
Izzie (breathless): Woo.
Cristina (smiling): Wow.
Izzie: Seriously.
(She takes a large gulp of her wine. Meredith and Cristina start laughing. George holds his hand up in the air for a high five. Joe gives him one. Izzie whacks his hand away. They continue laughing)
|
Plan: A: Cristina; Q: Who is the first person to aggressively pursue the case of Shane? A: Meredith; Q: Who becomes angry because everyone is treating the patient like a sideshow? A: a hysterical pregnancy; Q: What is the name of the condition that Shane has? A: the entire medical staff; Q: Who is fascinated by Shane's condition? A: A sheltered young patient; Q: What inspires Alex to better express his feelings for Izzie? A: a dramatic kiss; Q: What does Alex do to Izzie? A: her socks; Q: What does Alex's kiss knock off? A: her husband; Q: Who is the patient constantly complaining at? A: hurdles; Q: What do Addison and Derek encounter as they try to rebuild their relationship? Summary: Cristina, Izzie and Meredith aggressively pursue the case of Shane, a male patient who seems to have a hysterical pregnancy , which fascinates the entire medical staff. Meredith becomes angry because everyone in the hospital is treating the patient like a sideshow and invading his privacy. She relates to him because the entire hospital staff seems to be gossiping about her and Derek. A sheltered young patient inspires Alex to better express his feelings for Izzie. Alex finds her at Joe's and sweeps her into a dramatic kiss that knocks her socks off. George and Burke treat a patient with extensive scar tissue around her heart, who is constantly complaining at her husband. Burke and Cristina discuss whether to go public about their relationship, whilst Addison and Derek encounter hurdles as they attempt to rebuild theirs.
|
FLASH IN:
[EXT. VARIOUS LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[INT. RESIDENCE -- NIGHT]
(The city is lit outside the window. The camera pulls back and passes a crackling fire inside the large, spacious living room. A cat meows and runs across the wood-paneled floor, disappearing behind the large bookshelf.)
(The camera continues through the spacious room. There are bookshelves, couches and modern-styled lamps. Up against the wall there are filled vases. Paper crunching is heard and a light shines down from above. The camera continues around the room.)
(More paper crunching is heard. More light appears from above, illuminating the room.)
(The camera swings around and lingers on a LAS VEGAS GLOBE newspaper on the desk with the headline, "Another Body Found!")
(The paper crunching continues. Camera swings around the miniature desk and pulls back from the miniature chair. Light shines from above as Grissom lifts the lid to the room.)
(He can't believe his eyes and stares at the latest diorama.)
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE / HALLWAY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS]
(Grissom reaches down and lifts the miniature room out of the box. We're looking up from the room at Grissom. He carries the diorama and heads out of his office.)
(He rushes carefully through the hallway. He glances to the side and shouts.)
Grissom: Catherine, layout room, right away!
(He continues toward the layout room.)
Catherine: (o.s.) Where're you going?
(The elevator bell dings. Grissom continues toward the layout room.)
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM - CONTINUOUS]
(He sets the diorama down on the table.)
Catherine: (o.s.) Gil, where's the fire?
(Catherine appears next to Grissom as they both look at the latest miniature.)
TOP VIEW DOWN: This miniature has a person sitting on a long, black sofa.
Grissom: It's been sitting in my office for the last four weeks.
Catherine: But ... we caught the 'miniature serial killer'; he confessed.
Grissom: Yeah, I watched him blow his brains out. But I think the package was postmarked after he killed himself.
Catherine: So maybe he arranged to have it sent postmortem.
(Grissom turns the diorama.)
Grissom: The three other murders, the miniature was left at the scene. This one was addressed to me.
(Grissom uses the magnifying glass and examines the room.)
Catherine: So, now it's personal?
Grissom: The victim appears to be a Caucasian female with lots of books. It could be an office, somebody's living room ... or a modern hotel lobby. When I was gone, did anybody work a scene like this?
Catherine: No ... at least not on our shift.
(Grissom notes the miniature newspaper on the table.)
Catherine: I'll check with days and swing, and see if anybody caught a case that matches.
(Catherine turns to leave, but Grissom stops her.)
Grissom: Never mind.
Catherine: Why not?
Grissom: Take a look at the early edition.
(Grissom hands Catherine the magnifying glass. The date is SATURDAY, FEBRUARY
Catherine: It's dated the day after tomorrow.
Grissom: This murder hasn't happened yet.
SMASH CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM -- NIGHT]
(Grissom snaps photos of the diorama. He snaps a photo of the three vases and of the newspaper on the miniature desk, of the coffee table with miniature tea set and of the woman on the couch. He continues snapping photos.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- NIGHT
(Sara, Nick and Warrick watch the video.)
Ernie Dell: (from video) My name is Ernest Edward Dell. I was born in 1946 in Ames, Iowa. My life's been hard, but I don't complain. I never expected better.
(On the video, he takes a sip of his cup.)
Ernie Dell: (from video) I'm good with my hands. I make things. I fix things. I'm a handyman. That's what I am.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM - NIGHT]
(VARIOUS DISSOLVES OF: Grissom puts the photos on the board lining the wall.)
Ernie Dell: (V.O.) I'm not the sociable type. I-I know that. You spend any amount of time around people, you get your heart broke -- treachery, hypocrisy ... the promise of love.
[VIDEO]
Ernie Dell: (from video) A man has a right to an honest day's pay. Me, I service the machinery of death so that people can eat. If that makes me evil, then so be it.
(They pause the video.)
Sara: The 'Miniature Killer' murdered three people over a period of roughly six months. Ernie Dell was either directly or indirectly related to all of them.
Warrick: What's with the bloody dolls?
Sara: We're not sure. There's a different perspective of that same image in all of the miniatures. (She hands Warrick an enlarged photo.) We're thinking it could be some kind of signature.
(The video resumes.)
Ernie Dell: (from video) Look into the mouth of a person and you'll find lies wriggling there like maggots waiting to grow wings. The world has ... has gone mad. A man could kill from sunup to sunset, and still his work would never be done.
(Ernie takes the gun, puts it under his chin and fires. Sara, Nick and Warrick flinch. Sara pauses the video.)
Nick: Remember the Blue Paint killers? Maybe Ernie Dell had a partner. Like an apprentice, an accomplice, something like that.
Warrick: Or a disciple.
Sara: You guys make models when you were kids?
Nick: Tanks and airplanes.
Warrick: Classic cars.
Sara: These miniatures are obsessively precise, half-inch scale models of the crime scenes. They probably took weeks of focused effort to create. I don't think the killer's into team sports.
Warrick: Izzy Delancy ... he was a rock star. You know, famous brings out the nut jobs. Maybe we're just looking at a copycat.
Sara: The miniatures were never released to the press. No photos, nothing. You can't copy what you can't see.
Nick: Other people had access to those files. Maybe it was a cop. Or somebody in the lab. It's been known to happen.
Warrick: Yeah, so, Ernie Dell takes the rap for three murders, and then eats a .38. Why?
Sara: I think he was trying to protect someone -- someone he cared a lot about.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM]
(SCOPE VIEW: Of the purse. Grissom checks the inside of the purse and finds it empty.)
(Catherine walks in.)
Catherine: Prints and DNA are going over the package and wrapping paper.
Grissom: They won't find anything.
Catherine: Return address was an empty lot. Any clue as to who the victim is?
Grissom: No, I even went through her little purse.
(Catherine puts her glasses on and looks at the miniature.)
Catherine: Well, she's not wearing a wedding ring. She's probably single. Her eyes appear to be bloodshot. Petechial hemorrhaging, maybe?
(Grissom notices something on the pillows.)
Grissom: Look at this.
Catherine: Blue smudges on the pillow. Blue mascara on the victim.
(Catherine leans forward and looks through the miniature's window and visualizes the woman lying down on the couch.)
Catherine: Our vic gets comfortable, grabs a little shut-eye ...
(Someone leans over her and smothers her with a pillow. She struggles and stops.)
Catherine: ... and never wakes up.
(The people in the miniature vanish. Catherine straightens and looks at Grissom.)
Catherine: She's going to be smothered.
Grissom: It would seem so.
Catherine: If you interpret this headline literally, the doll is the victim. That's different than the others.
Grissom: Methods change. Killers evolve.
(It sounds familiar to Catherine.)
Grissom: What?
Catherine: Keppler said something like that once. (She looks at Grissom.) He did come down on the right side.
(Grissom nods. He looks at the books on the shelf.)
Grissom: These books are all arranged by subject matter: art, religion, science ... The victim is apparently well-educated.
(Grissom looks on the shelf and sees a framed photo of Izzy carrying his baby.)
Catherine: That's from the Izzy Delancy miniature. What's it doing here?
Grissom: I don't know.
(Grissom picks up the framed photo and looks at it. He turns it over and sees the doll image.)
Grissom: There's something on the surface. Looks like brush strokes.
(Catherine shines the light on it and reveals the word: YOU.)
(Grissom goes straight for the pillow on the couch - the same pillow form the Penny Garden miniature. He puts it on the table next to the framed photo. On the shelf he picks out the window covering from the Mannleigh miniature and puts that on the table as well. Under the light it reveals:
YOU WERE WRONG )
(We hold on Grissom.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. FILE STORAGE WAREHOUSE -- DAY]
(Sara walks along the rows of file boxes. Greg turns the corner and walks over to her. He's in a suit.)
Greg: Hey, Sara, I heard we got another miniature. Is that true?
Sara: Yeah, looks like Ernie Dell was covering for someone.
(Sara pulls a file box off the side and hands it to Greg. She grabs another for herself.)
Greg: No kidding?
(They head out with the two boxes.)
Sara: Hey, you were the one who checked for next of kin after his suicide, right?
Greg: SOP. Snail mail, email, bank accounts, police records, Google. All I got was he's a widower. Received his wife's Social Security benefits.
(They put the two boxes down on the table.)
Sara: He had to be connected to somebody.
(Sara cuts the tape on the box while Greg puts on his gloves.)
Sara: It's kind of early for court.
Greg: Finally rescheduled my deposition for the civil suit.
(Sara opens the file box.)
Greg: You know, Demitrius James's family is suing the city for 3.5 million.
Sara: That's going to be a long deposition.
(They go through the items in the box. Under the shirts, Sara finds a stack of video tapes. The top one is labeled SUMMER '87.)
Sara: Home movies.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY / LAYOUT ROOM -- NIGHT]
(The hallways are sparse while the janitors mop the floor. In the layout room, Grissom is still going over the latest diorama with a magnifying glass. He looks at the books on the shelves and the flowers in the vases. He goes back to the books on the shelves.)
(He pulls out a particular book and looks at it. He puts it down, then notices the black cat resting on the bookshelf. Grissom picks up the black cat and looks at it.)
(Hodges knocks on the door before entering.)
Hodges: Hey, boss. We're ordering out for breakfast.
Grissom: (interrupts) You have a cat, don't you, Hodges?
Hodges: Mr. K. Kobayashi-Maru. It's in reference to ...
Grissom: Do you ever take him out of the house?
Hodges: My little Kobe? No way. Vegas is coyote country.
Grissom: So if this is a house cat, then this must be somebody's home.
(He looks at the cat and notices the white around the mouth.)
Hodges: Tsk, tsk. Looks like he's been in the milk.
Grissom: Yeah. Maybe the victim has as well. The previous murders have all involved the vic's habits and routines. So maybe this time, it's a little something extra in her afternoon tea.
(Grissom and Hodges leans forward to look at the tea set on the coffee table.)
Hodges: So they're going to be poisoned.
(Flash to: The woman finishes her tea and lies back on the couch. She puts a pillow over her face. The cat sips the milk on the tea tray and jumps on the shelf.)
Grissom: (V.O.) She lays down for her usual nap, the cat sneaks a sip, and neither one ever wakes up again.
(End of flash.)
Grissom: It doesn't matter how she dies if we can't figure out who she is or where she is.
(Hodges glances at his watch.)
Hodges: Well, you can't figure that out on an empty stomach. If you don't like this restaurant, there's plenty of others to choose from.
(Grissom looks at the DELIVERY ZONE on the back of the menu from Hodges.)
(Grissom puts the menu down and looks at the diorama. On the bottom of the coffee table, Grissom picks up two miniature order menus for the KRISPY WOK and the TANDOORI TEMPLE.)
Grissom: I choose these two.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - A/V LAB -- NIGHT]
(The fax prints the KRISPY WOK menu. Grissom looks at the delivery area on the back of the menu. He marks the area on the computer map in green.)
(He prints out another KRISPY WOK menu and marks that area on the computer map. He does so with the additional KRISPY WOK delivery areas.)
(He prints out a TANDOORI TEMPLE menu and does the same for that eating area. He marks it on the map in red. He does the same for the other TANDOORI TEMPLE menus and delivery areas.)
(He finds the area where the two eating places overlap and marks it CROSSING DELIVERY.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
[EXT. SIDEWALK -- DAY]
(Brass briefs the officers.)
Brass: We're looking for a building whose exterior looks exactly like this.
(He gives them a photo of the exterior of the miniature. The officers spread out to canvass the area. Brass makes a call on his cell.)
Warrick: (from phone) Talk to me.
Brass: (to phone) So what are we looking at, Rick? We've got a modernist structure with cement beams, steel rails, frosted glass.
INTERCUT WITH:
[ANOTHER SIDEWALK]
(Warrick is walking and talking on the phone.)
Brass: (from phone) Something like that.
Warrick: (to phone) Probably, but whatever it is, it should match exactly. The killer's hyper-specific.
Brass: Well, maybe that'll work in our favor.
(Warrick hangs up. Nick is looking at the buildings around them.)
Nick: Now, even if we find a match, we could already be too late.
Warrick: Hey.
(Warrick whacks Nick on the arm to get his attention and points to the building directly in front of them. It's exactly like the miniature.)
(Nick checks it against the photo.)
Warrick: Let's check it out.
(Warrick starts running toward the building. Nick motions for the officer to follow them.)
Nick: C'mon. C'mon.
[INT. BUILDING - LOBBY - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Nick, Warrick and the officer enter the lobby and walk up to the manager behind the front counter.)
Nick: Nick Stokes, LVPD. We're looking for a woman that lives in this building. She looks like this. (Nick shows him the photo of the miniature.) Have you ever seen her?
(The manager looks at the photo and scoffs.)
Manager: That looks like a doll.
Nick: Yeah, well, it's actually a death threat. Time is of the essence here. Can you help us out? Anyone in the building look like this? No?
Warrick: She's got a cat.
Manager: Well, that narrows it down to about a hundred tenants.
(Warrick puts a photo of the miniature down.)
Warrick: That's her home.
(The manager looks at the photo and recognizes it immediately.)
Manager: 1106. That's Ms. Tallman's place.
[INT. HALLWAY TO 1106 -- CONTINUOUS]
(The manager leads Nick, Warrick and the officer to 1106.)
Dispatch: (over radio) All units responding to 3-5-0-4, 3-5-0-4. CSI Brown and Stokes have ID'd the building. Please respond.
(The manager points to the door. They stop and listen. Behind the door, they hear music playing. Nick knocks loudly on the door.)
Nick: Ms. Tallman? Las Vegas Police. You need to open your door, please.
(There's no answer.)
Nick: Ms. Tallman?
(There's no answer. Nick looks at Warrick. Everyone moves. Nick reaches for his gun and stands on the side of the door. Warrick motions toward the door.)
Warrick: (to manager) Open it and stand clear.
(The manager unlocks the door and steps aside. Nick opens the door and Warrick steps through, his gun out in front of him.)
[INT. TALLMAN APARTMENT - DAY]
(Warrick, Nick and the officer enter the apartment cautiously.)
TOP VIEW DOWN: It is the apartment, although no one is sleeping on the sofa.
(Nick notices that the sofa is empty. Music continues blasting through the apartment. The fire is burning in the fireplace. Nick sees a newspaper on the desk and the books on the shelf.)
(He hears a door open and close. Nick raises his gun as a woman returns. She sings along with the loud music, turns and sees the men in her apartment.)
(She screams.)
(Warrick puts his gun down and looks over at Nick.)
Nick: Please, ma'am, calm down. We're with the Crime Lab.
Barbara Tallman: This isn't a lab. This is my home. You must be confused.
Nick: No, we're not confused. We're here for your protection.
(Nick motions to the music. Warrick turns it off.)
Warrick: Ms. Tallman ...
Barbara Tallman: Dr. Tallman.
Warrick: Dr. Tallman ... I need you to take a look at this.
(He shows her the photos of her apartment.)
Barbara Tallman: Did you make this for me? That's very sweet.
Warrick: It's a death threat.
Barbara Tallman: Who would want to kill me?
Nick: Doctor, do you normally take a nap around the same time every day covering your face and eyes with the pillow?
Barbara Tallman: (sleepily) Yes, at 4:00 p.m. I ... I have tea and cookies every day when I wake up. Have you been watching me?
Warrick: No, Miss, no, but we think someone else has. Doctor, your life is in danger. We need you to get dressed and come with us, please.
Barbara Tallman: Am I in trouble?
Nick: No, ma'am. No, not anymore. This officer will help you get your things, okay?
Barbara Tallman: No, no, no. I'll go get my things.
(She starts to leave, then turns around.)
Barbara Tallman: I want you to know that you young men are refreshingly polite.
Warrick: Thank you.
(Dr. Tallman leaves. Warrick turns and looks at Nick.)
Warrick: Is she on something?
Nick: She may have already been poisoned.
(The cat jumps on the table and starts drinking from the tea set.)
Warrick: We'll get her to the hospital.
Nick: We should collect blood for tox.
Warrick: And any open food or drink.
(Nick turns and shoos the cat away.)
Nick: Hey, get out of there! (The cat meows.) The killer did plan every detail.
Warrick: Except for us showing up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - LATE DAY]
[INT. CSI - A/V LAB]
(The video DATE/STAMPED MARCH 7, 1988, is on the monitor. Greg, Archie and Sara watch the video. On the video, Ernie speaks with the engineer of the small train. The children run toward the train.)
Sara: That's got to be Ernie Dell's wife.
(They climb into the train. Ernie waves the engineer.)
Archie: Quite the bash.
(The train starts to move.)
Archie: They must love kids.
(The next video scene is of the family around a table full of kids. Ernie and his wife stand behind a little boy seated at the head of the table. Everyone sings "Happy Birthday To You.")
Archie: Is that Ernie's son?
Greg: There's no record of a son, but it sure looks like it.
(On the monitor, the little boy glares at his birthday cake.)
Sara: One, two, three, four, five birthday candles in 1988 would make him around 24 now.
(On the monitor, the little boy can't seem to blow out the candles. Everyone laughs. The little boy sweeps the cake off the table and onto the ground.)
Archie: Hmm. Don't look like a very happy birthday.
(The little boy jumps off his seat and runs. Mrs. Dell runs to console him.)
Greg: Did you get the boy's name?
Archie: Cake never made it on camera.
Sara: How about audio?
Archie: It sucks. '80s video cam with built-in, non-directional mic, pulls in nothing but wind and train noise.
Sara: So let's process it.
Archie: This is processed.
(On the monitor, Ernie Dell is with his son and eats some of the cake off his son's fingers.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY]
(Nick walks through the hallway with Grissom and fills him in.)
Nick: We ran tox on Ms. Tallman's blood as well as her milk and cookies. She was negative on everything from pharmaceuticals and illicits, to herbicides, pesticides and heavy metals. You sure she was going to be poisoned?
Grissom: No, but I'm pretty sure she was scheduled to die today. In each of the previous cases, the killer was at the scene to commit the murder. So maybe he was planning to show up at the condo.
Nick: Well, it'd be kind of rude not to greet him, don't you think?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM -- DAY]
("Barbara Tallman" walks into the living room with the tea set. She sets it down on the coffee table and sits on the sofa. She lifts her lapel and speaks into the mic.)
Officer Kamen: I'm ready for my close-up.
(Officer Kamen glances at the camera set up on the top of one of the shelves.)
(In another room, Sofia watches the monitor. Officer Kamen stretches out on the couch for her afternoon nap.)
Officer Kamen: (from mic) This definitely beats walking the beat.
Sofia: Feed's good. Officer Kamen, how's your read?
(On the monitor, Officer Kamen nods.)
Officer Kamen: Time to go to sleep.
(On the monitor, Officer Kamen picks up the couch pillow and puts it over her head as Barbara Tallman does.)
[INT. TALLMAN BUILDING - LOBBY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(Brass sits in the lobby reading the paper.)
Brass: (to radio) All units, this is Brass. All right. Maintain a low profile. That means I don't want to see a uniform within three blocks of this place, okay?
[INT. STORAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS]
(Sofia watches Officer Kamen pretend to sleep.)
Brass: (from radio) Be vigilant, but be cool.
(She takes a sip of her coffee cup as she waits.)
[INT. TALLMAN BUILDING - LOBBY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(The lobby door opens and a delivery man walks in with a package. He goes to the front desk and signs in. Officer Mitchell is behind the desk pretending to be the manager.)
Officer Mitchell: Where you headed?
World Send Deliveryman: Eleven.
(The delivery man signs in.)
World Send Deliveryman: Oh, sorry. Ten.
Officer Mitchell: Go on up.
(The delivery man walks past Brass on his way to the elevators. The elevator bell dings off screen in the background.)
(A second, older man walks in. He's wearing a dark coat and carrying a large briefcase.)
Man: Hold the elevator.
World Send Deliveryman: What floor?
Man: Eleven.
(The elevator doors close.)
Brass: (to radio) Someone's coming up.
[INT. STORAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS]
Brass: (from radio) White male with a suitcase.
(On the monitors, the man gets out of the elevator on the eleventh floor. He heads toward the apartment.)
(The man puts his suitcase down on the floor in front of the apartment.)
Sofia: (to radio) We got a possible.
[INT. HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Sofia and a couple of officers burst out of the storage room.)
Sofia: LVPD. Up against the wall.
Peyton Tallman: What?
(The officer turns and pushes Peyton Tallman up against the nearby wall.)
Officer: She said hands against the wall.
Sofia: What's your business here, sir?
(Sofia checks his wallet.)
Peyton Tallman: Nothing. I mean, this is my sister's place. I'm Peyton Tallman. Where's Barbara? Did something happen to her?
(His NEVADA DRIVER LICENSE reads:
TALLMAN, PEYTON
2672 W. 6TH ST.
LAS VEGAS, NV 89109 )
Sofia: This officer will explain everything to your satisfaction. Get him out of here.
Peyton Tallman: What?
(The officers lead Peyton Tallman down the hallway.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY]
(Grissom walks through the hallway and is on the phone with Brass.)
Brass (from phone): Peyton Tallman's ID checks out. And you know ... and I kind of doubt the killer's going to make a miniature crime scene of his own sister's house.
Grissom: (to phone) And we have nothing to link him to the other three murders?
Brass: (from phone) He wants to see his sister. I'll let you know how that goes down.
Grissom: Okay. Thanks.
(Grissom hangs up and enters -
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(The latest miniature is on his desk. He sits down, looks at it and sighs. Grissom looks at the three vases. He zooms in on the middle vase.)
[INT. STORAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS]
(It's night. Sofia is watching Officer Kamen on the monitors. She looks at her watch.)
Sofia: (to radio) Okay, that's it. Killer's not gonna show. (to officers) Let's call it a night.
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
(Grissom pulls the lamp in closer for a better look. The flowers in the vases immediately melt and fall apart. Grissom thinks about it.)
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - LATE DAY]
(The front door opens. Sofia walks in.)
Sofia: All right, I know you must be exhausted from your brutal day in the field, but it's time to go.
(Officer Kamen doesn't move.)
Sofia: Officer Kamen?
(Sofia knocks the pillow away from her face. Officer Kamen's dead open eyes stare back at her.)
(Sofia gasps.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - LATE DAY]
(A camera flashes as David Phillips snaps photos of Officer Kamen. Sofia stands on the side watching and upset.)
David Phillips: She's pale. No sign of trauma. COD'll have to wait till autopsy. Sorry.
Sofia: Not as sorry as I am.
(Grissom steps into the room.)
(He puts his kit down near the door. Sofia turns around and he doesn't say anything. Grissom looks around the room and sees the shelf where the black cat was found. He heads over to the shelf while putting on his gloves.)
(He pulls the books away and finds the dead cat.)
(Grissom shakes his head.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS'S OFFICE]
(Brass walks into the office. Barbara and Peyton Tallman are sitting at his desk.)
Brass: Look, I know we've all had a tough day, but the sooner we get done here, the sooner we can all go home.
Barbara Tallman: (sniffles) Why? So my little Tripper can run out to greet me?
Peyton Tallman: Barbara.
Brass: I'm sorry about your cat, ma'am. We lost an officer.
Barbara Tallman: How much did you love her?
Peyton Tallman: Barbara, please.
Brass: When my guys went to your house, they said you were a little out of it, but you're thinking clearly now, right?
Barbara Tallman: Well, having your home invaded can be a little bracing.
Peyton Tallman: Captain, how can we help?
Brass: Can you tell me why anyone would want to kill you?
Barbara Tallman: No.
Peyton Tallman: But you can. Well, Barbara was a high regarded psychotherapist.
Barbara Tallman: Is. That hasn't changed.
Brass: Is or was?
Barbara Tallman: I'm retired.
Brass: You seem a little young to be retired.
Barbara Tallman: I got tired of it.
Brass: Can you tell me why one of her patients would want to kill her?
Barbara Tallman: No.
Peyton Tallman: Well, no, it's-it's possible. She, um ... she counseled a lot of at-risk adults, um, halfway house kids, pro bono.
Barbara Tallman: I also treated suburban sexual dysfunction for $300 an hour.
Peyton Tallman: She helped a lot of people.
Brass: Did you work out of your home?
Barbara Tallman: For the last few years.
Brass: Treat any sociopaths?
Barbara Tallman: That's not a term for which there's any diagnostic criteria. You're not looking for one of my patients.
Brass: Well, maybe I am. Maybe I'm looking for a 20-something-year-old male, last name of Dell.
Barbara Tallman: Won't say.
Peyton Tallman: She can't say. It's doctor-patient confidentiality.
Brass: But you're retired.
Barbara Tallman: Well, you know where I live. Are you done yet?
Brass: No, we're not done yet. At least, I'm not done yet. All right, look, let's start again, all right? Let's ... Maybe we started off on the wrong foot, all right? Look, I'm asking you as a professional, as a psychotherapist, please ... help me out here.
(He puts the photos of the miniature crime scenes out on the table.)
Brass: Okay? Tell me ... what am I looking for?
(She looks at them, putting her hand out over the photos. She moves stiffly and awkwardly, but nothing too much out of place.)
Barbara Tallman: Repetition ... attention to detail indicates obsessive-compulsive disorder. Obvious antisocial personality.
Brass: Uh, yeah, four bodies -- I'd call that antisocial.
Barbara Tallman: Most murderers lack impulse control, inability to plan ahead, but ... this one's different.
Brass: Different how?
Barbara Tallman: He conceives murder ... visualizes it. Then he takes all that horror that he's imagined. He compresses it into these little rooms. These models literally indicate repressed rage. And when you start taking that apart, all that rage comes flying out ... and you will have let the monster out of the box.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM]
(Grissom snips the shirt off one of the miniature dead bodies. Hodges stands in the doorway watching. Grissom doesn't look up.)
Grissom: Stop hovering, Hodges. You're in or you're out.
Hodges: In.
(Hodges steps into the room.)
Hodges: So, she wasn't poisoned, huh?
Grissom: No. Hand me a scalpel.
(Hodges hands Grissom the scalpel. Grissom cuts the miniature dead body open, performing an autopsy of sorts on it. He opens the body.)
Grissom: Tweezers.
(Hodges hands Grissom the tweezers. Grissom removes the body's lungs.)
Hodges: Nice lungs.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - TRACE LAB]
(Hodges takes a sample of the gas inside the miniature lungs with a syringe. He tests the sample.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - A/V LAB]
(Grissom is in the A/V lab watching the video of Officer Kamen sleeping. His phone rings. He answers it.)
Grissom: (to phone) Grissom.
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - DAY]
(Tripper is cut wide open on the autopsy table.)
Robbins: (to phone) Yeah, Gil, uh, got a good idea on COD for your asphyxiated officer.
(On the other table, Robbins stands in front of the table with Officer Kamen on it.)
Robbins: (to phone) Internal organ color nailed it on both the autopsy and necropsy as ...
(Grissom is reviewing the GCMS test results: CARBON MONOXIDE.)
Grissom: Carbon monoxide poisoning.
Robbins: You know, nobody likes when you do that. So, how did CO get into the room?
Grissom: That I don't know.
(Grissom hangs up and goes back to watching the video of Officer Kamen sleeping. He sees something and rewinds the tape. The fire in the fireplace flares.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[SCOPE VIEW]
(Grissom pushes the scope through the living room and past the miniature body on the couch.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM]
(Nick and Warrick enter the room and put their kits down near the fireplace. Nick turns on his flashlight and checks under the flue.)
[LAYOUT ROOM]
(Grissom checks under the flue and finds the rigged timer. He thinks about it.)
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM]
(Nick looks up under the flue and finds the rigged timer.
(Quick flash to: [THE FLUE] The flue is open. The timer activates and shuts the flue, dropping the charcoal on the fire.)
Nick: (V.O.) The timer goes off, activating the motor, which closes the flue and drops powdered charcoal onto the flames, producing carbon monoxide.
(In the living room, Officer Kamen sleeps on the sofa. The fumes fill the room.)
Nick: (V.O.) Fumes have nowhere to go but out into the apartment, into Officer Kamen.
(End of flashback.)
[INT. CSI - LAYOUT ROOM]
Nick: And the cat.
(Nick reports to Grissom.)
Nick: You know, this timer was geared to run for weeks. It could have easily been put in place a month ago.
Grissom: That's why the killer felt safe enough to send me the miniature. He never intended to be at the scene. There was no danger of being caught.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY]
(Greg catches up with Sara and shares his findings with her.)
Greg: Hey, Sara, check this out. I was digging through Mannleigh Chicken's employee health insurance records ...
Sara: 45 million Americans without health coverage, and a chicken slaughterhouse provides medical benefits?
Greg: Izzy Delancy's animal rights PSA forced the company to clean up its act in all departments. Anyway, Ernie Dell had one dependent listed: a son.
Sara: "Lionel Dell." Unbelievable.
Greg: Yeah, the man loved his trains. Lionel changed his name to Mitchell Douglas after he turned eighteen, and get this. He did time in a halfway house after getting busted for fentanyl.
Sara: Which connects him to the fentanyl-dealing sexagenarian, Penny Garden. Where's young Dell now?
(They walk out of camera frame.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. MITCH DOUGLAS'S WORKPLACE -- DAY]
(Sara and Greg walk up to Mitch Douglas.)
Sara: Lionel Dell?
Mitch Douglas: My name is Mitch Douglas.
Sara: I'm Sara Sidle. I'm with the Crime Lab. I was wondering if you knew this woman.
(She shows him a crime scene photo of Penny Garden.)
Sara: She used to sell fentanyl.
Mitch Douglas: Want me to pee in a cup?
Sara: What about this guy? He's dead, too. He was found face down in a chicken stun bath in a place your dad used to work.
Mitch Douglas: He worked a lot of places. I met a lot of people.
(Mitch uses a device on the canister. Sara watches him.)
Sara: Did you know Izzy Delancy?
(Sara shows him another crime scene photo.)
Mitch Douglas: Yeah. His music sucks. What do all these stiffs got to do with me?
Sara: What was your relationship like with your father?
Mitch Douglas: Before or after he blew his brains out?
Sara: Let's start with ... before.
Mitch Douglas: You ever step in a pile of crap, but you're wearing boots, so you can't just scrape it off. You got to dig it out with a stick, but even that doesn't work, so you just end up tossing the boots in the trash? It was kind of like that.
Sara: And after?
Mitch Douglas: Much better. You gonna arrest me?
Sara: (shakes his head) We're just talking.
Mitch Douglas: I'm not.
(He goes back to work.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY]
(Camera passes by all the miniature crime scene set up in plastic cases in Grissom's office. Grissom is at his desk looking at photos of the most recent miniature. Sofia knocks on the door.)
Sofia: Did you know Officer Kamen?
Grissom: No.
Sofia: Me, neither. I was watching her die, and I didn't even realize it.
Grissom: Look, Sofia, there weren't any carbon monoxide sensors in the apartment, so no one could have known.
Sofia: Yeah.
Grissom: And in fact, if I hadn't have gone away, we'd have had another month to work with; you'd have never been in that position.
Sofia: It doesn't make you feel any better either, does it? You know, the scene's been released. Ms. Tallman was pretty insistent. We offered to leave a uniform with her, but she wasn't having it.
(Grissom picks up the photo and looks at it again. He sighs.)
Sofia: So, what are you looking for? The miniature's complete.
Grissom: It's not perfect, though. Officer Kamen was not the intended victim.
Sofia: Well, she was dressed like her. She died in the right position. So did the cat.
Grissom: I'm still not sure it's perfect enough.
(The phone rings. Grissom answers it.)
Grissom: (to phone) Grissom. (pause) Yeah. (pause) Okay.
(He hangs up and looks at Sofia.)
Grissom: Now, it's perfect.
(He looks at the photo.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY]
(TOP VIEW DOWN: Barbara Tallman is dead on the sofa. DISSOLVE IN officers and other crime scene personnel.)
(Nick snaps photos of the real BARBARA TALLMAN dead on the sofa.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. TALLMAN RESIDENCE - LIVING ROOM - DAY]
(Nick snaps photos of Barbara Tallman. Catherine checks a hand-held meter, then picks up the pillow.)
Catherine: It's deja vu all over again.
Nick: Not entirely. There's some kind of liquid. It looks like it fell and splashes on the floor ... and the body ... and it looks like ... the ear.
(Camera ZOOMS into the liquid in Barbara Tallman's ear.)
(Catherine looks around and sees some liquid at the base of the vase on the table.)
Catherine: This could be the source.
(Quick flash of: The killer smothers Barbara Tallman with a pillow.)
Catherine: (V.O.) Killer returns to ... complete the miniature the old-fashioned way.
(As the killer leaves, he backs into the vase and knocks it over.
Catherine: (V.O.) And things get a little messy. But in the end ...
(The killer picks up the vase and fixes everything as best as possible.)
(End of flash.)
Catherine: -- he puts everything right back where it belongs.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY LIGHTS (STOCK) - NIGHT]
Peyton Tallman: (V.O.) What happened to my sister was not just some isolated tragedy.
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(Peyton Tallman is holding a press conference.)
Peyton Tallman: There have been four other murders, four deaths which could have been prevented had the public been warned by the people sworn to protect us. Barbara Tallman was the latest victim of a serial killer ... the LVPD has known about for months.
Reporter Janine Sharell: What do they call him?
[INT. CSI - BREAKROOM - NIGHT]
(The television is on the WFIN 19 LIVE news coverage of the press conference. The caption on the bottom of the screen reads: BREAKING NEWS, BROTHER OF SERIAL KILLER VICTIM SPEAKS.)
Peyton Tallman: (from tv) They call him the 'Miniature Killer,' because he makes little models of his victims posed in the places where they die.
(Hodges and Grissom are watching the news coverage.)
Hodges: I feel for the guy, but he just made our job a lot harder.
Grissom: It was inevitable. With the murder, the amount of information that could leak rose exponentially.
Peyton Tallman: (from tv) I'm a private person, but if this prevents just one tragedy, then it's worth it.
(Hodges gives Grissom the test results.)
Hodges: Trace report on the second crime scene or ... or should I say second murder? Crime scene is the same.
(The results show:
: C:\Database\Wiley275.L
: CHLORINE BLEACH, NaCIO )
Hodges: Haven't finished processing all the samples, but the water from the vase is consistent with the water found on the victim's clothing.
Grissom: There's chlorine bleach in the samples. Why put bleach in vase water?
Hodges: I knew you'd ask that. Well, I had this girlfriend who was a florist ...
Grissom: The one with the water retention problem.
Hodges: You remembered. Anyway ... she said that if you add a few drops of bleach to your water, it kills bacteria, and gives your flowers a nice long life, but add too much ... the flowers die.
(Greg walks in.)
Greg: Grissom, we may have caught a break on Barbara Tallman. She did pro bono work at Lionel Dell's halfway house.
(Grissom removes his glasses at the news.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM -- NIGHT]
(Sofia and Sara interview Mitch Douglas.)
Mitch Douglas: Okay, so maybe I met her. So what?
Sofia: So, she's dead. That's four stiffs associated with you, Lionel. Five, if you count Ernie.
Mitch Douglas: I don't.
Sara: You know, you keep saying that you hated your dad, but I'm not buying it.
(Sara shows him the photos of the miniature crime scenes.)
Sara: You go through your life alone. You're good with your hands. You have weird hobbies. You make little things. And when that gets tricky ... you call your father.
Sofia: Maybe Ernie didn't know you were a killer. Police start poking around, asking questions, showing him pictures. And when Ernie sees these ... he knows exactly what his little boy's become.
Sara: To the rest of the world, a monster, but to him ... just a little boy knocking over his birthday cake.
Sofia: So he confesses to crimes you committed, shoots himself in the head; it's a dead end for us.
Sara: New start for you.
Mitch Douglas: If only. Let me tell you about Ernie. What he cared about in this life was ... his wife, his trains, and his kids. In that order.
Sara: Kids? You're an only child.
Mitch Douglas: (chuckles) Again, if only. If you're looking for a love connection, then ... then you should maybe go talk to one of the chosen ones.
Sofia: What are you talking about?
Mitch Douglas: Fosters. My parents had, like ... dozens. They'd come and go, some before I was born. My mom loved kids. Dad loved Mom. I guess as soon as I came around ... the love ran out. And then Mom dies ... the kids leave ... and Ernie's left with me.
(He looks at them.)
Mitch Douglas: Ernie didn't take a bullet for me. (shakes his head) But it's a beautiful thought.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT]
(Robbins goes over the preliminary findings with Catherine.)
Robbins: I pulled these fibers out of her nasal passages.
Catherine: Well, they appear to be consistent with the sofa pillow cushion at the scene.
Robbins: COD was asphyxiation. Now ... what is wrong with this brain?
(He picks up the brain from the metal bin and shows it to Catherine.)
Catherine: Other than the fact that it's out of its skull? Pigmentation's unusual.
Robbins: Bingo ... or keno or whatever you prefer. Pronounced lack of pigmentation near the midbrain, along with ... clearly diminished substantia nigra. She had Parkinson's.
Catherine: Nick and Warrick did say that she was a little ... spacey when they met her, but they didn't mention any shaking.
Robbins: Her disease was advanced. She was on some pretty heavy meds.
Catherine: Would they have shown up on a poison tox panel?
Robbins: No, but those kinds of medications can cause abnormal thinking and behavior. Takes somebody with a very strong will to keep it hidden.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY / CATHERINE'S OFFICE]
(Grissom is heading into one of the labs when Catherine catches him.)
Catherine: Hey! How'd it go with the sheriff?
(Grissom steps into Catherine's office.)
Grissom: Media's all over him. Which means he's all over the undersheriff, who's all over Ecklie, who's blaming me for not going public with the Izzy Delancy miniature like he told me to.
(Catherine shows him the test results.)
Catherine: Well, I got the final trace report on the bleach water that spilled at the scene, but ... the fluid in the ear was biological. Water and proteins.
Grissom: Lipocalin, lactoferrin, lysozyme. Tears.
Catherine: (nods) Mm-hmm.
Grissom: The victim was crying?
Catherine: The smudges are from the pillow. There were no tear tracks. I don't think the victim was crying. I think the killer was.
(Quick flash of: Peyton Tallman removes the pillow from Barbara's face. He cries.)
Catherine: (V.O.) When you cry, your tears sometimes can pick up skin cells from your cheek.
(XCU: A single tear runs down his cheek and falls into Barbara's ear cavity.)
END OF FLASHBACK
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM]
(Catherine interviews Peyton Tallman. She shows him the test results.)
Catherine: The DNA in your tears that were found on your sister's body proves that you were there. I imagine it was the hardest thing you've ever done. But you did it.
Peyton Tallman: You should've seen Barbara when she was young. She was fierce. And fearless. She protected me. She was the smartest, the funniest, best friend I could ask for in life. The Parkinson's just robbed her of everything. She'd take medication; she'd go away. She'd get off medication. She'd become lucid again, only in agony. She wanted to die in her own home.
Catherine: There's no ... assisted suicide protection in Nevada.
Peyton Tallman: She said this was the perfect opportunity. She could get what she wanted, and ... everyone would blame the 'Miniature Killer.'
Catherine: I understand. You're under arrest.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - A/V LAB]
(On the monitor is the video footage from the birthday party held on MARCH 7, 1988. Then entire train is filled with kids.)
(Sara and Grissom are watching the video tapes.)
Sara: We reran the footage several times to get a head count. Assuming that they're all Dell foster kids, there's 13 of them.
Grissom: At this birthday party?
Sara: Yeah. Lionel only remembered the first names, and only a few of those. Getting the DHS records is going to be tough. Judges hate giving them out unless we can demonstrate a pressing need ... and even then, they're spotty. And a lot of a foster kids change their names when they age out.
Grissom: Ernie Dell confessed and killed himself to protect someone he loved. And that someone has murdered five people.
(The kids on the video look like they're having fun - girls and boys.)
Grissom: Eenie, meeny, miney, mo. Catch a monster by the toe.
(On the video, one of the boys elbows another boy. A dark-haired girl stops him. The boy being elbowed turns and looks at the monitor.)
(The video ends.)
|
Plan: A: Grissom; Q: Who is shocked when he opens a package? A: a miniature crime scene; Q: What does Grissom find in the package? A: the murder; Q: What is depicted in the miniature? A: the team; Q: Who works with Grissom to analyze the miniature? A: the real location; Q: What do Grissom and his team need to find? A: a tragedy; Q: What is the team trying to prevent? Summary: Grissom is shocked when he opens a package sent to him while he was on sabbatical and finds a miniature crime scene inside, especially as the case of the previous miniatures was supposed to have been closed. Investigation reveals the murder depicted has not yet taken place but is likely to occur soon, so Grissom and the team work to analyze the miniature and find the real location before a tragedy can occur.
|
ACT ONE
Scene One - KACL Frasier is on the air.
Frasier: Who's up next, Roz?
Roz: We have Cleo from Redmond on line three.
Frasier: [presses button] Hello, Cleo. I'm listening.
Cleo: [v.o.] Hi, Dr. Crane. I've been dating three different guys, and I can't choose between them.
Frasier: Is it that you can't choose, or you don't want to choose?
Cleo: It's just hard. One's really funny, one's adventurous, and one's sensitive. They're all gorgeous too.
Roz: Oh, excuse me, Cleo! This show is for people with real problems!
Frasier: Roz. Um, it sounds to me as if each suitor possesses one quality that you admire. Rather than choose among them, why not try to find one person who fits all your criteria?
Roz: Why don't you call back when you're a working single mother whose choice in dates is between a guy with eight teeth and a guy whose hair is painted on?!
Frasier: Sadly, we're out of time. This is Dr. Frasier Crane saying good day, Seattle, and good mental health - unless of course Roz has a problem with that.
He goes off the air and comes into Roz's booth.
Frasier: Is there something wrong, Roz? Because if there is, we should discuss it before it bleeds into your work.
Roz: I'm sorry. I'm just sick of hearing people complain about their love lives while I face another weekend without plans.
Frasier: Well, I empathize, but-
Roz: I know, look who I'm telling.
Frasier: It so happens I have big plans this weekend!
Roz: Let me guess. You and Niles are playing your zithers again at the Renaissance Fair.
Frasier: Roz, the Renaissance Fair is a fortnight after St. Swithin's Day. No, my son is coming to town. In fact, Dad and Daphne should be picking him up at the airport right now.
Roz: I didn't know Freddie was coming!
Frasier: Well, it was sort of last-minute, actually. You know, you remember I had that reunion of sorts with my old college mentor, Dr. Tewkesbury. Well, it led to a lot of soul searching. He helped me to realize that I've been defining myself by my career, and it's time that I rearranged my priorities. And my first priority is my son.
Roz: What is he now, twelve?
Frasier: No, thirteen, Roz.
Roz: Wow.
Frasier: Gosh, you know, the years really have flown by. I feel like I've missed so much.
Roz: So what are you guys gonna do?
Frasier: Oh, lots of things! I thought we'd go and see a play, and, uh, maybe take in the computer show - he'd love that - and, uh, oh, I've decided we are going to read "Walden" together.
Roz: Some vacation.
Frasier: No, no, Roz, it is, actually. You see, every year we pick a book to read and discuss. It's been sort of a bonding thing between us. Gosh, you know, I hate to brag, but Freddie really is a very articulate young man. He's very imaginative, and not to mention what a great sense of humor he has.
Roz: Oh, that reminds me, Frasier! Alice said the cutest thing this morning-
Frasier: Now careful, Roz, you don't want to turn into one of those mothers who bores everybody talking about her child.
He leaves.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Two - Apartment Martin is watching the TV. Frederick is talking on the cordless phone.
Frederick is not as we remember him. His hair is buzzed short, he has an earring, and he's taken on the glazed indifference that separates teenagers from children and adults.
Freddie: At Level Seven, grab the Bio-suit, and then teleport to the acid tank. Really? Hey Grandpa, put on MTV, Channel 46.
Martin: All right.
Martin changes the channel to a hip-hop dance video.
Martin: Oh, jeez! What is this? They're half-nude! It's just not right!
Freddie: [into phone] I saw this one already!
Frasier comes in the front door.
Frasier: Oh hello, Dad. [sees Frederick] Freddie, ha-ha! Come give your dad a hug!
Freddie: [into phone] I'll call you back.
As he hangs up, Frasier scoops him up in a bear hug, which Frederick returns less than enthusiastically.
Frasier: Gosh, it's so good to see you! Well, so how was your flight?
Freddie: Eh.
Frasier: Good, good, good, good. Did you get all your unpacking done?
Freddie: Yeah.
Frasier: Great! Gosh, I've been really looking forward to seeing you. We're gonna have so much fun. What would you like to do first?
Freddie: Whatever. [phone rings, he answers] Hello? Hey, Zack! Hang on, let me get some privacy.
He walks into the hall without another glance at Frasier.
Frasier: Well, that's certainly not the greeting I was expecting. Martin, now wearing his glasses, is still staring at the TV.
Martin: I've never seen such dancing. What do you think those shorts are made of?
Frasier looks at the TV and gapes along with him.
Frasier: Some sort of... steel mesh. What the hell are you watching?!
Martin: Oh! [turns it off] It's Freddie's program.
Frasier: Good lord. He doesn't seem very happy to be here. He hardly said two words to me.
Martin: Oh, it's perfectly normal. You're his dad. Kids that age don't want to talk to their dad.
Frasier: I never stopped talking to you.
Martin: [sighs] I know, buddy.
Daphne comes out.
Daphne: Evening.
Frasier: Oh hi, Daph.
Daphne: Dinner will be ready soon. Niles is joining us.
Frasier: Good, good. Say, Daphne, did Freddie say anything in the car?
Daphne: Not really. We put your show on the radio. Heard Roz give that caller the business.
Doorbell.
Daphne: Oh, I'll get that. You know, it's a pity she hasn't found someone to love.
Frasier: Hmm.
Daphne: I mean, what could be sadder than growing old alone? [realizes] I wasn't talking about you, Dr. Crane. You've got your father to grow old with.
Frasier: Ah, yes.
She opens the door to Niles, dressed in his squash togs.
Daphne: Niles, hi.
Niles: Hello. [kisses her]
Frasier: Hey Niles, I didn't miss a squash date, did I?
Niles: Oh no, no, no. I was playing with Jack Belcher from the club. He pummeled me but good! From now on, I'll stick to playing you. Where's Freddie, I can't wait to see him.
Frasier: Oh, oh, I'll go and get him.
Frasier goes into the hall. Daphne takes Niles' hands.
Daphne: You always smell so masculine after you've finished exercising.
Niles: [butch] It's the mango-kiwi shower gel.
The doorbell rings again. Daphne opens it to Jack, a tall man also dressed in squash togs.
Jack: Hi, there.
Daphne: Oh, hello.
Jack: I'm Jack, I just dropped Niles off.
Niles: Jack?
Jack: [hands him a sweater] You left this in my car.
Niles: Oh, thank you. Uh, Jack, this is Daphne, my girlfriend.
Daphne: [eyes him appraisingly] Oh, you're a fine-looking one, aren't you?
Jack: Oh, I don't know.
Daphne: Modest, that's good. I don't see a wedding ring, you single?
Jack: Yes.
Daphne: Looking?
Jack: Sure.
Daphne: For a woman?
Jack: Right.
Daphne: Employed?
Jack: A surgeon.
Daphne: Mmm, impressive.
Jack: Thanks.
Niles: OK! Well, uh, it's good to see you again, Jack, thanks, goodbye.
He pushes Jack out and closes the door.
Niles: What's happening? I think I'm having some kind of stroke.
Daphne: Roz is lonely, so I got to try and set her up with someone.
Niles: Ohhhh, maybe Jack?
Daphne: Oh, there's a thought!
Niles: OK, I get it.
He gives her a kiss. Frasier brings Frederick out.
Frasier: Here we are.
Niles: Hello, Freddie.
Freddie: Hi, Uncle Niles.
Niles: Daphne, would you give us a moment?
Daphne: Sure.
She goes to the kitchen. Niles sits with Frederick on the couch.
Niles: Freddie, about what you just saw - I know you've always had special feelings for Daphne, and there's something I need to tell you.
Freddie: I already know about you guys.
Niles: Oh. Uh, and you're OK with that?
Freddie: I liked her when I was a little kid. I'm over it now. I mean, she's like a hundred.
Niles: She most certainly is not. [Nyah Nyah!] It just burns you up that I got her-
Frasier: Niles! Why don't you get us both some sherry? [he does] Well, Freddie, you know, I've made some wonderful plans for our time together. Uh, I've already chosen the book we're going to read. I'll give you a hint: published in 1854, this paean to self-sufficiency was known as the "cornerstone of the transcendental movement."
Niles stops pouring sherry and excitedly holds up his hand.
Frasier: Yes, yes, Niles, I'll let you get the next one. Freddie, any thoughts?
Freddie: No.
Frasier: Niles?
Niles: It's "Walden" by Henry David Thoreau.
Frasier: Of course it is! It is life near the bone, where it is sweetest! Should be the source of much lively discussion, wouldn't you say?
Freddie: [gets up and goes to the hall] I don't know. Why don't you just talk about it with Uncle Niles?
Frasier: Niles? Well, uh, yes, if that's what you'd like. We'll discuss it together.
Niles sits on the couch next to a pensive Frasier.
Niles: "As the engine whistles, let it whistle till it is horse for its pain!"
Frasier: Oh, shut up, Niles.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Three - Apartment Martin is reading the newspaper in his Armchair. Frasier and Frederick come in.
Martin: Hey, how was the computer expo?
Freddie: OK. [tosses his coat to Frasier]
Frasier: Say, Freddie, why don't you tell Grandpa about the new virtual reality-
But Frederick has already put on his headphones and switched on his Game Boy.
Frasier: And he's gone.
Martin: You guys have fun?
Frasier: Oh, yeah. It was a blast, he spent the entire time trying to ditch me. You know, I only get to see Freddie a few times a year, and usually we make the most of it. Now all he wants to do is play that damn computer game!
Martin: Well, you know, Fras, he's not much different than you were at that age. Except instead of video screens and electronics, you always had your head in books.
Frasier: That's entirely different, Dad-
Martin: No, it isn't. We couldn't get you to do anything. You know, I remember when you read that "Walden" book. It was on the family camping trip.
Frasier: So? What better time to read about nature?
Martin: Well, that's just it. While you were in the cabin reading about it, we were outside enjoying it. You'd rather read about something than experience it firsthand.
Frasier: You know, my mentor remarked on that very thing.
He thinks for a moment and then goes over to Frederick.
Frasier: Freddie? [pulls off his headphones] Freddie, I've made a decision. We are going to the woods.
Freddie: What for?
Frasier: We are going camping. It'll be good for the both of us.
Freddie: But I don't want to.
Frasier: Too bad! It'll be fun! Fathers and sons should do fun things together!
Freddie: You and Grandpa don't do fun things together.
Martin: Hey, leave me out of it.
Frasier: That's why he's coming along as well! There will be no TV, there will be no electronics, there will be no distractions! Just three generations of Cranes cooking over a fire and sleeping under the stars! We leave at daybreak!
He goes into the hall.
Martin: Good work, Freddie!
END OF ACT ONE
ACT TWO
Scene Four - Cabin Frasier, Martin, and Frederick carry their bags into the rustic cabin.
Frasier: Oh, what an idyllic spot! I'm already beginning to feel like Thoreau.
Freddie: We can't sleep here, this place bites.
Frasier: It does not bite. "It is shelter, as good as the best, and sufficient for its coarser and simpler wants."
Freddie: That you talking, or that guy from "Where's Walden?"
Martin: [laughs] Good one, Freddie.
Frasier: Yes. [takes out two notebooks] You know, the two of you may want to immortalize this good-natured reality in these journals that I bought for you.
Martin: Well thanks, but I don't know what to write.
Frasier: Well, Dad, you simply write down your experiences.
Freddie: I have to go to the bathroom.
Frasier: Freddie, I... I don't see a bathroom.
Martin: You're surrounded by fifty thousand acres of it.
Frasier: Ah. Oh, how quaintly rustic! Yes, Frederick, just pick a tree and make it your own!
Frederick leaves.
Frasier: So Dad, I thought we might do an activity later.
Martin: What kind of activity?
Frasier: Oh, I don't know. Maybe press some leaves, or-or whittle a bird call and see if we can lure some finches to our sill.
Martin: Take it easy now, we want to save something for tomorrow.
Frasier: Dad, could you please be a little more supportive?
Martin: Well, I'd like to, but I tried to get you to come camping a million times, and you had to wait until the playoffs were on!
Frasier: Dad, you can watch the playoffs all year!
Frederick sticks his head in the door.
Freddie: The kids at the next campsite have got a rope swing. Can I go over?
Martin: Don't see why not.
Freddie: Thanks. [leaves]
Frasier: What the hell was that?
Martin: It's just a rope swing. Wait'll he sees us drying leaves in the sun, he'll come running.
Frasier: You know, I'm just about fed up with your sarcasm. I'm trying to do some father-son bonding here, so will you just butt out?!
Martin: [opens his journal] You know what? I just thought of something to write in this thing!
[SCENE_BREAK]
WAS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?
Scene Five - Apartment Roz, dressed for an evening out, comes out of the hall with Daphne. Niles is waiting.
Roz: This is a bad idea. My hair's flat. Never have a good date when my hair is flat. If it's flat after, that's a good date.
Doorbell.
Niles: Your hair is not flat, Roz. It's delightfully frizzy. Daphne opens the door to Jack, dressed in a suit.
Daphne: Hello.
Jack: Hi.
Niles: Hey, Jack, come in. You remember Daphne, and this is Roz.
Roz: [overcome] Hi, Jack.
Jack: Hi.
Niles: So, uh, where are you two going for dinner?
Jack: I thought we'd try the Pergalu. They have a garden patio. Unless you'd rather eat inside, I don't want you to get cold.
Roz: Oh, don't you worry about that.
Daphne: Come on, Roz. I have a couple of wraps, you can borrow one.
Daphne takes Roz to her room.
Niles: What do you think?
Jack: She's pretty. [takes out his cell phone] You know, I should check my service before we go.
Niles: Oh, OK. Can I pour you some wine?
Jack: Sure. [into phone] It's Dr. Belcher. Really? Well, isn't Dr. Unger on call? I'm kind of busy right now. All right, I'm on my way. [hangs up] There's an emergency with one of my post-op patients. Please tell Roz I'm really sorry.
Niles: Of course.
Jack: Thanks, Niles.
Niles: Yeah, good luck.
Jack leaves. Daphne and Roz come back with two wraps.
Daphne: We need a man's opinion: the velvet trim or the multi-colored? [sees] Where's Jack?
Niles: He left.
Roz: He left?!
Niles: It was an emergency.
Roz: What kind of an emergency? Like he-saw-me-and-he-thought-I- was-a-dog emergency?!
Niles: No, no, no, he said you were pretty.
Roz: That's it?
Niles: Well, he flew out of here as soon as you left the room.
Roz: Oh God, he was just trying to get out of this date! I've been dumped!
Daphne: Oh, I'm sure you weren't dumped! He was paged, right, Niles?
Roz: Oh yeah, the whole fake page routine!
Niles: No, no, no, not even, he actually called in.
Roz: [rock bottom] I should go.
Niles: [shows her to the door] We understand, you want to be alone.
Daphne: No Roz, I won't hear of it, you'll stay right here with us!
Roz: Oh, I don't want to be a pain. You guys had a big evening planned.
Niles: [keeps her moving] Roz, you are so considerate.
Daphne: We can have an evening any old time. You'll stay for dinner.
Roz: All right.
Niles: [disappointed, takes her wrap] Allow me.
Roz sits down at the table. Daphne goes to the kitchen.
Roz: Well, what are we having, 'cause I don't like fish. Daphne turns around, gropes for something to say... and gives up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Six - Cabin Night has fallen. Frasier and Martin are sitting at the table with two plates. Frederick comes in with two other boys and a girl his age (Melody).
Frasier: Oh, Freddie, there you are! Thank goodness.
Freddie: Can I have dinner with these guys? They're having Sloppy Joe's.
Frasier: I'm sorry, but Frederick is going to be having dinner with his family this evening.
Freddie: Come on, Dad!
Melody: It's OK. Come by later, we're making s'mores.
Frasier: Yes, we'll see. All right, now off you go, young people. [they leave] Just sit down, Frederick, and eat your meal.
Frederick does, but only picks at his food.
Martin: Have a good time?
Freddie: I guess.
Frasier: What'd you do?
Freddie: We played some Frisbee.
Martin: Oh.
Freddie: It sucked with all those trees in the way.
Frasier: Yes well, perhaps one day civilization will cut down all those trees, and pave over this grand wilderness, then you and your friends can play Frisbee without constraint, how would that be?
Freddie: I don't know. [eats a bite] I'm done, can I go now?
Frasier: No!
Freddie: Why not?
Frasier: Because this is your first camping trip, and we're gonna enjoy it together!
Freddie: This isn't my first camping trip.
Frasier: You never told me that.
Freddie: I don't tell you a lot of things.
Frasier: Oh ... I see. Well, you may go. [Frederick leaves] So, he's been camping before. Instead of this being something special between us, it's just another thing I've missed out on. This trip was a bust from the get-go. We leave at daybreak!
Martin: What's with you and daybreak? [gets up] I'm gonna see if those kids have a generous grandpa with a six-pack.
Frasier: Sit!
Martin sits back down. Glaring at Frasier, he opens his journal again.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WHY DOES HIS BREATH SMELL LIKE MORTADELLA?
Scene Seven - Apartment Daphne and Roz are sitting at the table before dinner.
Daphne: I once dated a guy who was so grabby I jumped out of his car while it was still moving.
Roz: Did I ever tell you about this jerk named Nick?
Daphne: I dated a Nick!
Doorbell. Niles, wearing an apron, rushes out of the kitchen.
Daphne: My Nick had a silent "g" at the beginning of his name. He was Vietnamese.
Niles: I wonder who this could be?
He opens the door to another man, as tall as Jack but rather dim- looking.
Niles: Oh! What an incredible surprise, it's Hans! Hans, come in. Roz, Daphne, this is Hans. He's a doctor from my building.
Roz: Nice to meet you.
Daphne: [suspicious] Hello, Hans. What brings you by?
Hans: [obviously reciting lines] I'm a friend of Frasier. Uh, I was downstairs, so I thought I'd pop by, see if he was here.
Daphne: Yeah, well he's not.
Niles: But still, you could stay for a drink. Why don't you come here, sit next to Roz?
He does.
Daphne: Niles, help me fix those drinks, will you?
Niles: [evening's back on track!] Yes, dear.
Niles follows her into the kitchen, where she bats him.
Daphne: Doctor, my eye! That's Ted, the moron from the deli.
Niles: Are you sure?
Daphne: Oh, stop it! You invited him over here for Roz. Well, she's in no mood to be trifled with, and neither am I.
Niles: I'm sorry, I was trying to help.
Daphne: Yeah, well if you want to help, get rid of him.
Niles: [one last try] Love you.
She turns away from his kiss, making her resolve clear. He goes back out as Roz comes in.
Roz: Can you believe this, Daphne?
Daphne: Roz, I am so sorry. This evening's been a disaster.
Roz: No, I mean things are looking up! Hans and I are really hitting it off. Do you have any mints in here?
Daphne: Uh, try the cupboards.
Roz: Thanks. I have a really good feeling about Hans. He's very funny - he just told me he was Chief Doctor of Brainiatrics! [laughs]
Daphne goes out to the living room. "Hans" is gone.
Daphne: Where did he go?
Niles: Uh, I gave him the boot, he's gone.
Roz: [coming out] Who's gone?!
Niles: He had an emergency.
Roz: Oh, you have got to be kidding me!
Daphne: Oh, Roz-
Roz: I thought this one liked me! Man, I've driven away two doctors in one night!
Niles: No, uh, Hans is just the-the meat slicer from the deli.
Beat.
Roz: And that's supposed to make me feel better? Oh God, I just want to put this whole night behind me!
Daphne: I don't blame you one bit.
Niles: I'm sure it'll all look better in the morning.
Roz: I sure hope so. You two have listened to enough of my problems for one night.
Niles brings her purse from the coat rack, but she flops down onto the couch and turns on the TV.
Roz: Oh look, "Titanic" just started. As Daphne sits next to Roz, Niles looks fit to cry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Eight - Cabin Frasier is lying on the floor in his sleeping bag next to the fire. Martin sits over him in a chair.
Martin: When you hear that scratching at your window late at night, remember that young couple ... [thrusts out his hand, with a fork sticking out of the sleeve] and Fork Hand!
Frasier gives him a look.
Martin: Oh, come on! That's scary stuff. I told that to Duke last summer, and he wet his sleeping bag.
Frasier: Wait a minute. Isn't this Duke's sleeping bag?!
Martin: Now you're scared!
They laugh.
Frasier: Oh gosh, Dad, I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier. You know, I guess I was just hoping this trip might give me and Frederick some sort of, I don't know, golden moment. I guess I'm just disappointed.
Martin: I know. But you know, none of this would be happening if we had a TV. TV makes everyone get along.
Frederick comes back in.
Martin: Hey, buddy.
Frasier: Hi, Fred.
Martin: Well, I'll just take a little walk.
Frasier: OK. See you in a bit, Dad.
Martin: All right.
Martin leaves.
Frasier: Frederick, we're gonna be leaving in the morning.
Freddie: But I don't want to go.
Frasier: No? I thought you'd be dying to get back to your Game Boy.
Freddie: Well, yeah. But I kind of made plans.
Frasier: Oh, really? With who?
Freddie: Nobody.
Frasier: Oh, then you don't have plans. We leave at... nine-ish.
Freddie: OK, fine. I have plans with Melody.
Frasier: The s'mores girl?
Freddie: Yeah.
Frasier: She's cute.
Freddie: She's a cheerleader.
Frasier: Ho-ho! I remember a particular cheerleader from my youth: Lorna. She was a beautiful girl. In fact, I was so intimidated by her I-I could never even work up the courage to approach her-
Freddie: Dad, I kissed her.
Frasier: Oh...
Freddie: I know. It was her first time. It was my first time too.
Frasier: I see.
Freddie: Don't tell Mom about this, OK? She'd ask all kinds of stupid questions.
Frasier: Don't worry, son. It's just between you and me.
Father and son smile at each other.
Freddie: You know, I think I'll write for a while before bed. He opens a journal.
Freddie: Whoa! Did you see the stuff that Grandpa wrote about you?
Frasier: Give me that! [snatches it away]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cabin: As Martin and Frederick sleep, Frasier sits by the fire, going through Martin's journal. As he reads each page, he tears it out and throws it into the fire.
|
Plan: A: Dr. Tewkesbury; Q: Who did Frasier talk to before deciding to focus on his son? A: his career; Q: What does Frasier decide to stop defining his success by? A: the weekend; Q: What does Frasier invite Frederick to stay for? A: thirteen; Q: How old is Frederick? A: no interest; Q: What is Frederick's interest in spending time with his father? A: his friends; Q: Who does Frederick prefer to talk to on the phone? A: all electronic distractions; Q: What does Frasier want to get away from? A: Daphne; Q: Who is trying to set Roz up with Niles' squash partner? A: an attractive surgeon; Q: What is Jack's profession? A: the last minute; Q: When did Jack cancel his date with Roz? A: a medical emergency; Q: Why did Jack cancel his date with Roz? Summary: In the wake of his conversation with Dr. Tewkesbury, Frasier has decided to stop defining his success by his career, and to focus on his son. To this end, he invites Frederick to stay for the weekend, and makes several plans for edifying activities. He is disappointed when Frederick, now thirteen, arrives and shows no interest in spending time with his father. He prefers watching MTV , playing on his Game Boy and talking on the phone with his friends. Frustrated, Frasier decides to take his son on a camping trip, so they can bond away from all electronic distractions. When Frederick protests Frasier decides to bring Martin as well. Meanwhile, Daphne is trying to set Roz up with Niles' squash partner, an attractive surgeon called Jack, but Roz is distressed when he cancels at the last minute, claiming a medical emergency.
|
Jim: [phone ringing] You gonna answer that, Kev?
Kevin: Oh, right. Thanks. [reading off index card] Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin. Please hold while I transfer you. [cupping the mouthpiece, yelling] Oscar, your mom!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Charles is having Kevin cover the phones for a while. How do I say this diplomatically? [pause] I think Kevin is doing exactly as well as anyone might have expected someone like him to perform in a position like that.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: Please hold. [cupping mouthpiece and holding out the phone] Andy! Phone call.
Jim: No. [Andy gets up from his desk] Stay there. Kev, thought we nailed the whole transfer thing earlier.
Kevin: Yeah, I wrote it on my hand... but then I washed it.
Jim: It is transfer, extension, and then transfer again.
Kevin: Okay. Andy, get ready. [muttering] Transfer. Extension. Transfer.
Jim: Here we go. [Meredith's phone rings. Jim and Andy groan.]
Kevin: Oh, man!
Andy: It is 1-3-4, Kev! [Kevin runs to the phone]
Jim: Kev, c'mon.
Dwight: Hustle!
Kevin: Hold it.
Andy: You are murdering the Nard-dog!
Kevin: [on phone] This is Kevin. Please hold and I will transfer you. [Phyllis's phone rings]
Angela: You're bad at this too!
Kevin: [running to the phone] Just... don't answer that call!
Stanley: Just transfer the damn call.
Kevin: Your call is very important to us. Ple-[Andy's phone rings]
Andy: Hey-o! [applauding and cheering]
Dwight: Way to go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: My maid died.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Today is my first day at my new job at Michael Scott Paper Company Incorporated. You know, Apple Computers started in a garage. And we're starting in a condo. So we already have a leg up on Apple. [picks up piece of mail] Look, it's official! [door opens, Michael is in a bath robe]
Michael: Oh, good. My hooker's here. [laughs] Hi.
Pam: Michael, you were expecting me, right?
Michael: Yes I was. Yes I was.
Pam: Are you wearing anything under the robe?
Michael: That is inappropriate, Pam. Come on in.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: This looks great, Michael.
Michael: Thank you. Would you like some french toast?
Pam: Yes, please.
Michael: What shape?
Pam: ... Square is fine.
Michael: Alright.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Charles: Just want to fill you in on a few details. As you know, I will be running the branch while we search for Michael's replacement. So please feel free to come to me with any questions or concerns. [Kelly raises hand] Yeah.
Kelly: Where will you be staying while you're in Scranton?
Charles: Eh, uh, in a hotel.
Angela: Charles, where were you born?
Charles: Actually, I meant questions more about the day-to-day operations of the company. Kay. [Andy raises hand] Yeah.
Andy: How are operations of the company? Just, day-to day.
Charles: Okay, let's go over non-discretionary cuts. Okay, guys? [Charles sees Stanley with his crossword, Charles stares and he puts it away] Thank you. So, umm...
Jim: [whispering] Would you please stop that?
Dwight: What?
Jim: You're breathing very heavily.
Dwight: This is how I breathe.
Jim: No it's not.
Dwight: If you want to tell me -
Charles: Okay, Jim Halpert. I need your eyes up front.
Jim: Oh no. I was just -
Charles: No. Hey, hey. I just want to hear "yes".
Jim: ... Yes.
Charles: Good. As I was saying...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Oh no! The new boss does not find Jim adorable! Ohhhh! [smiles]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: So, what do you say we get started?
Michael: After breakfast.
Pam: I'm full.
Michael: So how you feeling about the new company?
Pam: I feel good. [sees a huge pile of French toast] Wow.
Michael: You excited? About the new company?
Pam: Yeah. I'm excited to start the company.
Michael: After breakfast.
Pam: We did that. So, what's next? Michael, just stop for a second. [reaches out to take the whisk] Michael. Stop for a second.
Michael: No, I'm whipping them.
Pam: No, I know you are.
Michael: Just let go.
Pam: Just let me have... Oh.
Michael: Let go, please. Just gimmee -
Pam: Fine! [eggs splatter all over his robe] Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Michael: I can't do this! This is pathetic, isn't it? I am such an idiot. I gave up the only job I ever loved to do this? I have egg in my Crocs.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Phyllis: I never see him drink. I never see him eat.
Stanley: I don't think he even uses the bathroom.
Creed: Oh, he does. He does.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [doing situps] I feel weak today. Felt much stronger yesterday. Like Benjamin Button in reverse.
Pam: You know, Michael. When I feel overwhelmed -
Michael: I'm not overwhelmed, Pam.
Pam: I know! No, I'm saying that when I feel overwhelmed, something I like to do is make a list. Make a list of things to do and then start with the easy stuff.
Micheal: Whatever calms you down.
Pam: Okay, first, work out. And, hey! Look! You did that. Check. [Michael doing leg lifts] Eat an enormous breakfast. Check.
Michael: Don't patronize me, Pam.
Pam: I think you should get dressed.
Michael: I'm not getting dressed. I'm not getting dressed. I have too many things to do before I get dressed. I need to find a hundred clients.
Pam: Michael, that seems impossible.
Michael: It's totally impossible!
Pam: We need to come up with one realistic thing that we could do today.
Michael: Assemble a sales team. A dream team.
Pam: Great.
Michael: Okay, Ryan.
Pam: No. What? Why?
Michael: He's everything I'm not and everything I am. He's the whole package.
Pam: No. We're not gonna hire Ryan.
Michael: Umm... Oh! Vikram! Best salesman I've ever met.
Pam: Okay.
Michael: He worked at that telemarketing place.
Pam: We'll find him.
Michael: Okay. Oh also, we have a meeting this afternoon with a potential investor.
Pam: Really?
Michael: Yeah.
Pam: We have an investor already?
Michael: Maybe. Barbara Keebis. She invests in local businesses. And I am putting together a little presentation for her.
Pam: Michael, that's fantastic.
Michael: Yeah, I guess it's not so bad. Got a few things cookin'. [sits down in robe, legs spread wide] Umm...
Pam: Hey! We need to get you dressed!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: I have doubts about this too. But when one person freaks out, sometimes it weirdly makes the other one calmer. That's one thing I've learned about relationships. I hate that I just used the word relationship. [Michael comes out in a suit] Hey! You look great! [checks something off her list] Let's go!
Michael: Alright.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: [laughing at something on his computer]
Charles: You a soccer fan?
Andy: Oh. Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed. You weren't supposed to see this. This is like my secret obsession.
Charles: Well, that makes two of us.
Andy: No way!
Charles: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: I hate soccer. But guess who doesn't hate soccer? Charles Miner.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Charles: I was actually in Germany for the 2006 World Cup Finals.
Andy: Ahhh. You b*st*rd! That shoulda been me!
Charles: Yeah, I love the sport. I love the sport. Alright, man.
Andy: Cool!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: I've never been a kiss up. I - it's just not how I operate. I mean, I've always subscribed to the idea that if you really want to impress your boss, you go in there and you do mediocre work. Half-heartedly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Next on the list - open the mail.
Michael: Oh. Wow. "Michael Scott Paper Company." Okay. Very official. "Dear Mr. Scott. Please be advised that it is in violation of your condominium agreement to conduct a business headquartered in your residence. The penalty, a forfeiture of residence."
Pam: No, okay. It's fine. It's fine. We're just gonna add "find office"...
Michael: How are we gonna find an office? How can we pay for an office?
Pam: Next on the list -- song parodies.
Michael: Okay. Okay. "Achey Breaky Fart."
Pam: Great. Let's sing it in the car.
Michael: No! No No. No. "My Stumps." Like "My Humps" but a guy with no legs.
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: We can do this.
Pam: We can do this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Whoa! And he just goes, "Boom". [kicking motion] Goal!
Charles: Yep. Yep. That's Pele.
Andy: You know your soccer, man.
Charles: I know. Yes I do.
Stanley: I prefer [looks down at palms] Maradona. Uhhh... Diego Maradona.
Charles: Oh yeah?
Stanley: From Argentina.
Charles: I didn't know we had so many, uh, soccer fans in the office.
Andy: I mean, to be fair, I was the first one to talk about it, but...
Charles: What about you, Jim? You a fan of the game?
Jim: Uh, no. Nope. Not really.
Charles: Well, it's not for everybody I suppose. [Andy laughs]
Jim: It's 'cause I'm more of a player.
Charles: Yeah?
Jim: You bet.
Dwight: Really, Jim? I had no idea you played soccer. 'Cause you never, ever talk about it.
Jim: Well I do.
Dwight: Wow.
Jim: I play.
Dwight: You can be so modest sometimes.
Jim: Well, maybe you should get back to work.
Dwight: Maybe you and Charles should kick the soccer ball around.
Jim: Maybe we will someday.
Dwight: Maybe you will tonight after work. What do you say?
Charles: That's a great idea, Dwight.
Dwight: Great ideas are just part of what I bring to the table.
Jim: Yeah.
Dwight: I don't try and be anything that I'm not.
Charles: What do you say, Jim? Huh? Wanna play some soccer?
Dwight: Jim, what do you say?
Angela: Sounds fun.
Andy: I'm in it to win.
Dwight: Game on!
Charles: Okay. See you on the field, there, bro.
Jim: Let's... eh... see ya.
Charles: See you on the field. Ha, ha. I can't wait!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Yep, I used to play soccer in school. From second to fourth grade. I was on the orange team.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: [Michael comes out with Vikram, arms raised] We got Vikram!
Vikram: You got me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vikram: Where are we going?
Pam: We have a meeting with an investor today.
Michael: Yes we do. So, get excited. But I have to go the bathroom real quick. If you'll excuse me, be right back. [gets out of the car] Ah, okay.
Vikram: He seems really confident.
Pam: He can be.
Vikram: Confidence. It's the food of the wise man but the liquor of the fool.
Pam: Hm. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better, Vikram.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Hey. I would like a pair of size nine, please. [Ryan is working at the bowling alley] It's Michael.
Ryan: I'm swamped, Michael. [over the PA] Happy birthday to Sally in lane 27.
Michael: Okay, imagine a company that has no memory of your past misconduct because they have no files.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vikram: He's taking a long time. Is it possible he's bowling? I mean, you know him better than I do.
Pam: Yes. Yes, it's possible.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Well, it has always been a lifelong dream.
Pam: Michael! What's going on?
Michael: I'm...
Pam: Hey, Ryan.
Ryan: Hey, you.
Michael: Excuse me. Yes?
Pam: This wasn't on the list.
Michael: Yes, it is.
Pam: No.
Michael: Yes.
Pam: It's not.
Michael: It is.
Pam: [looks at list] When did you add this to the list?
Michael: Pam. Everyone deserves a second second chance. [walks back to Ryan] Ryan, just out of curiosity, how much do you get paid here?
Ryan: Sixty thousand dollars a year.
Pam: You get paid by the year at the bowling alley?
Ryan: What do you make, secretary?
Supervisor: Back to work, shoe bitch!
Ryan: I told you guys, I'm really busy here, so...
Michael: Would you like to come to work for the Michael Scott Paper Company?
Ryan: What size shoes are you guys?
Michael: Uh, nine.
Ryan: What are those, a men's ten?
Pam: No.
Michael: [Ryan grabs some shoes] Look what he's doing.
Pam: What is he doing?
Michael: He's stealing them. Okay, okay.
Pam: Oh my God.
Michael: He's already paying for himself.
Pam: Sorry!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: Where is it?
Michael: Right here.
Vikram: Hey, c'mon, guys. These are prime selling hours, you know.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Charles: Miner - [kicking a piece of trash]
Jim: Oh, there he goes.
Charles: ...sees his partner -
Jim: Yikes.
Charles: Halpert. He looks up!
Jim: Aw, man.
Charles: Defending duo! He sets him up! [Jim moves the piece of trash with his hands] He sets him up. Yeah. Oh-ho!
Jim: Oh! Goal!
Charles: Aw, man, I can't wait to play with you.
Jim: Aw, it's gonna be the [softly] worst.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: Do you guys want to hear about Thailand?
Michael: Oh yeah.
Pam: Sure.
Ryan: It was indescribable.
Michael: Sounds awesome.
Pam: Beat.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vikram: What sort of investing club is this?
Michal: Vikram, you ask a lot of questions and I like that. Hey, Nana! Hi!
Pam: [mouthing to camera] Nana?
Nana: Michael!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: People turn to their families all the time when they need help starting out and if my Nana's investment club can help the Michael Scott Paper Company become a reality, then I'm sure that's what she would have wanted. Does want.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Well I'm sure that you must all have very, very busy schedules, so I appreciate you meeting with us here today. What this is is a business that I have worked toward my entire life. Hey! [snaps in front of sleeping old man] I have assembled what I believe to be the most exciting, sought-after talent in the industry today. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the dream team. From our very own Scranton, Pennsylvania - Pam Beesly. Pretty Pam is always reaching for the stars and someday, she may just surprise us all and grab one. Meet Vikram. From his humble beginnings as a - stay standing - from his humble beginnings as a prominent surgeon, he risked it all to become the most successful telemarketer in the lipophedrene industry. And do not call it a comeback. The youngest vice president in the history of Dunder Mifflin, and recent bowling alley employee, Ryan Howard is about to make a splash in paper.
Nana: So let's hear it.
Michael: Okay. I have spent the last 15 years learning the ins and outs of the paper industry. With a lean, mean fighting crew and low overhead, I think I can perform the same business at a much, much higher rate of profit.
Nana: How do you expect to turn a profit in this economy?
Michael: By wanting it more. By working hard-
Nana: What's your mission statement?
Michael: Mmmm-My mission is stated as follows[/b]: I will not be beat. I will never give up. I am on a mission. That is the Michael Scott guarantee.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Charles: C'mon, Oscar. What positions do people play?
Dwight: Wing.
Kevin: Wag.
Charles: Jim. What do you play?
Jim: Left.
Charles: Forward or half?
Jim: Forward, definitely.
Chares: Okay, striker, huh?
Jim: Striker!
Charles: Let's see what you got in those legs!
Jim: Alright! Let's do it.
Charles: Alright. [Dwight blows whistle in Jim's face] No, no, no. That's supposed to be the kickoff.
Jim: Kickoff. [to camera] My strategy is to touch the ball as little as possible. Chalk it up to teamwork. [to team] Alright! [clapping]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: And I offer same day, free delivery.
Nana: Michael, I don't know about this.
Michael: Nana. [softly] I really think that Papa would want you to do this.
Nana: I'm not so sure.
Michael: Well what is it exactly? I mean, what, what specifically? We don't - it doesn't have to be paper. We could sell medicine and other...
Nana: See, this is what concerns me.
Old Woman: We could just give him a chance. It's not much money.
Michael: Well... this might not be the right time, but I need more than I originally asked for.
Nana: This isn't a handout club. It's an investment club!
Michael: Okay.
Nana: I love you, Michael. I do.
Michael: Okay.
Nana: But no. I mean it. No.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vikram: I thought Nana raised some good questions. What kind of a name is Nana?
Pam: It means grandmother.
Vikram: Oh, sweet Jesus. Look, I'm sorry to do this, but can you drop me back at the telemarketing building?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vikram: You know, Michael? You want to succeed? You got to apply the same- [Michael slams door]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Andy: Get 'im, Jim! C'mon, tough D, Jim. [Charles kicks, ball hits Phyllis in the nose]
Charles: Oh, my God! Oh wow. Jim, what the?
Oscar: Phyllis, Phyllis.
Charles: Phyllis, are you okay? Are, you okay?
Phyllis: [muffled] No, I swallowed a crown.
Charles: Why'd you duck, Jim?
Jim: What?
Dwight: Yeah, Jim. Why would an experienced soccer player like yourself duck at the very last moment?
Jim: Okay, I'm just gonna go get some ice.
Charles: Does that make you feel better? Huh?
Jim: I'm sorry, Phyllis.
Charles: Oh, yeah. Jim's sorry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: Do you get TNT? The station? Do you get TNT?
Michael: Yeah. I have cable and satellite as a backup. [to Pam] Yeah, I know. Two not-so-great things in a row. Ehhhh, well. Stuff happens, right? At least we got Ryan. The Rye-guy. We should call him Rye bread. We don't have to call him that. Unless you like it. We could call him that.
Pam: I can't do this.
Michael: What's that?
Pam: I can't do this. I had a real job. I sat ten feet away from my fiance. I had health benefits. I was just feeling impulsive. I should have gotten a tiny tattoo on my ankle.
Michael: Blech.
Pam: I just keep getting bored. And I let things build up and build up and then I - I, I do something too big, like this. Who does this?
Michael: Well you know what? My mom always used to say that average people are the most special people in the world. And that's why God made so many.
Pam: We don't have any money. We don't have an office. We don't have anything.
Michael: Well we should make a list. Lists are good. Lists are good. Lists are good. First on the list, let's get you out of the car. Alright. [Pam tosses list out car window] Okay...
Pam: How come out of everyone in the office, I'm the only one that went with you? Is it because I'm that stupid? I mean, your own grandmother doesn't even believe in you!
Michael: I want you to listen to me. Because I want to tell you the situation that we are both in right now, kay? You quit your job. I quit my job. We both quit. Those are the facts. That's what happened. Now, what are our choices right now? Because you know, kiddo, you quit.
Pam: Yeah.
Michael: So what are our options? Well, we can start this paper company. We can try. Or... that's it. That's our only option. Because we quit. Pam, I do my best work when people don't believe in me. I remember in high school, my math teacher told me I was gonna flunk out. And know what I did? The very next day I went out and I scored more goals than anyone else in the history of the hockey team. See what I mean? I thrive on this. I thrive on it. So I'm gonna go inside. I'm going to make some calls, I'm gonna get us an office space, and I'm going to show you why you joined this company. Okay? [Pam nods]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: You gotta have some extra space. Philly, work with me here. There's gotta be some sort of secret office that you have... lurkin' around... some awesome, free, keep it off the books... Oh, no. Not there. That would be humiliating.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: I did what I had to do. I stepped in. I took charge. That's what being a man is. And earlier today, I was freaking out. Pam stepped up. She was the man. Don't think a woman can be a man? Well, then that's your stereotype, not mine.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: [walks into room] Okay.
Pam: I could work here. I could see this.
Michael: It's right in the middle of the paper belt.
Pam: Are you good?
Michael: Yeah, I'm good. You good?
Pam: I'm good.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: You know what they say, keep your friends close. [pointing to office sign where "Dunder Mifflin" is listed right above "Michael Scott Pap"]
Charles: Michael, you're back.
Michael: Yes, I am, Charles.
Charles: Mmmhmm.
Michael: Except this time, you have no legal right to kick me out, because I have started my very own paper company right here in the building. If I were you, Charles Miner, I would watch your step. Because the Michael Scott Paper Company is about to open a big ol' can of whoopass on Dunder Mifflin. [Pam and Michael stare him down, he walks away] Actually a six pack. We're gonna open a six pack of whoopass. He looks scared.
|
Plan: A: a list-based agenda; Q: What kind of agenda do Michael and Pam use? A: their new company; Q: What are Michael and Pam struggling to establish? A: a bleach blond Ryan; Q: What kind of Ryan did Michael hire? A: briefly; Q: How long did Vikram work at Dunder Mifflin? A: Michael's telemarketing job; Q: What job did Michael have before starting his own company? A: Dwight goads; Q: Who goads Jim into facing off with Charles? A: Jim; Q: Who does Dwight goad into facing off with Charles in a soccer match? A: Charles' sports passion; Q: What is Charles' passion? A: the Business Park building; Q: Where does Michael convert a large closet into his office? A: his office headquarters; Q: What does Michael convert a large closet into? Summary: Michael and Pam use a list-based agenda to struggle through establishing their new company , including establishing an office in the Dunder Mifflin building and hiring a bleach blond Ryan and briefly, Vikram from Michael's telemarketing job. Dwight goads Jim into facing off with Charles in a soccer match when he joins in his officemates' brownnosing over Charles' sports passion. Michael is soon able to convert a large closet in the Business Park building into his office headquarters.
|
-[Real World]-
(Regina is in her office fiddling with a ring. She holds it to her lips, when Mr. Gold enters.)
Mr. Gold: Remembrance of things past?
Regina: What do you want?
Mr. Gold: I need a favour.
(Text at the bottom displays 'One Week Ago'.)
Regina: You need a favour from me?
Mr. Gold: Well, as you know, there are battery charges against me...pending. I really don't relish the thought of spending any more time locked up in a cage. Now, someone with your influence can make the D.A. suddenly realize what a flimsy case they have. Isn't that right... Your Majesty?
Regina: What do I get out of it?
Mr. Gold: Help, with your Mary Margaret problem. You see, I've noticed that no matter how hard you seem to try to stop them, she and her 'charming' friend just keep finding ways to be together.
Regina: What are you suggesting?
Mr. Gold: If you want to inflict pain... Then you must inflict pain. If something tragic were to happen to David's wife, and if Mary Margaret should take the blame-
Regina: She'd be ruined.
Mr. Gold: And you'd have your victory, at last.
Regina: A trial could be very messy.
Mr. Gold: A trial? Who said anything about a trial? Now, once Miss Blanchard has been incarcerated, you can plant one of your lovely skeleton keys in her cell. And, once she tries to leave Storybrooke, well... We all know what happens to people who attempt to leave town.
Regina: Give me one good reason why I should trust you.
Mr. Gold: Because I always honour my agreements. Do we have a deal?
-[Fairy Tale World]-
(A younger version of the Evil Queen is practicing horseback riding as Henry I watches. She jumps over several barricades, and then comes to a stop near her father. She gets off and hugs him.)
Henry I: That's beautiful, sweetheart.
Evil Queen: Thank you, daddy.
(Cora approaches them, while Daniel, who is holding a saddle, trails behind her.)
Cora: Beautiful? I'd hardly call that beautiful.
Evil Queen: You didn't like it, mother?
Cora: You ride like a man. A lady should be graceful. You should use a saddle.
Evil Queen: I was just having fun.
Cora: Well, you're getting a little old for fun. Who's going to want to marry you when you behave like a commoner?
Henry I: Honey, please leave her alone.
Cora: Stop coddling her. She's becoming an old maid. All the other girls her age are married. I had such high hopes.
Daniel: Milady, perhaps this saddle-
Evil Queen: I'm done riding for the day. And don't ever interrupt me and my mother again.
(The Evil Queen hands over her horse to Daniel, who leads the horse away.)
Evil Queen: Why do you always have to criticize me?
Cora: I'm not criticizing you - I'm helping you.
(The Evil Queen goes to leave.)
Cora: Don't you walk away from me.
(Cora uses her magic to lift the Evil Queen off of the ground and bring her closer.)
Evil Queen: Mother! You know I don't like it when you use magic.
Cora: And I don't like insolence. I'll stop using magic, when you start being an obedient daughter.
Evil Queen: Why can't I just be myself?
Cora: Oh, because you can be so much more. If you'd just let me help you...
Evil Queen: I don't care about status. I just want to be-
(Cora magically wraps the reins around the Evil Queen, cutting off her air supply.)
Henry I: Cora, please.
Evil Queen: Please... I'll be good.
Cora: Excellent. That's all I wanted to hear.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(In the stable, Daniel is brushing one of the horses. The Evil Queen enters after her encounter with her mother.)
Evil Queen: Daniel. I'm sorry I snapped at you.
Daniel: That's alright. You'll just have to find some way to make it up to me.
(They kiss.)
-[Real World]-
(Emma is leaving Granny's Diner, when David calls out to her. The two of them talk as they walk to her car.)
David: Emma. Hey.
Emma: David, I don't have time.
David: No, I-I understand. It's Mary Margaret. How's she doing?
Emma: How do you think she's doing?
David: Well, I think the last time we spoke, she didn't quite get what I meant.
Emma: Oh, you mean that you basically told her you thought she might be guilty?
David: Look, it's this situation. It's been confusing and horrible for everyone. But, Emma, I don't think she's guilty. I need her to know that. Can I see her?
Emma: She doesn't want visitors.
David: You mean me. She doesn't want to see me.
Emma: Honestly, David. I'm sure your heart is in the right place, but the last thing she needs right now is words of encouragement from you.
David: What does she need?
Emma: A miracle.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At the station, Mary Margaret is sleeping in her cell. When she wakes up, she sees Regina watching her.)
Regina: They say only the guilty sleep in prison.
MMB: What are you doing here? Where's Emma?
Regina: She hasn't arrived yet. I just wanted to stop by to offer you a chance. A chance to spare yourself and this town the messiness of a trial. The chance to confess.
MMB: But I didn't kill Kathryn. Why won't anyone believe me?
Regina: The murder weapon was found in your apartment, your fingerprint was on the box containing Kathryn's heart... Shall I go on? Why not, for once, make it easier on everyone? Because confession or not, you're leaving Storybrooke.
MMB: And you like that. Why? Why do you take such pleasure in this? What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much?
-[Fairy Tale World]-
(By horseback, the Evil Queen meets with Daniel in a field. She gets off to greet him.)
Daniel: I thought we could take a ride to Firefly Hill. We can make it by sundown, have a picnic-
Evil Queen: I can't. I have to be back in an hour - tea time. A lady never misses her tea time.
Daniel: This is absurd. Stealing kisses between lunch and tea? When are you going to tell your parents about us?
Evil Queen: It's not my parents. It's her.
Daniel: I don't understand. So, I work in the stables. She started out as the daughter of a miller. Wouldn't she, of all people, understand?
Evil Queen: She does. But... But, she thinks one's trajectory needs to keep moving up and...
Daniel: And I'm down.
Evil Queen: She believes that, Daniel. I know better.
Daniel: Regina, tell her. She'll get over it. What can she do?
Evil Queen: Have you not seen her magic? Th-The real question is, what can't she do?
Daniel: Who cares about magic? True love is the most powerful magic of all. It can overcome anything.
(A distressed voice calls out for help.)
Snow White: Help!
Evil Queen: Shh. Someone's here.
(A younger Snow White flies past them on an out of control horse.)
Snow White: Somebody, help me!
(The Evil Queen gets on her horse and chases after Snow White.)
Snow White: Come on, please, stop! Help me! Help! Help me! Please help me!
(The Evil Queen eventually catches up with the runaway horse. She extends her hand to Snow White.)
Evil Queen: Give me your hand!
(Snow White takes the Evil Queen's hand, who then pulls her onto her own horse. Snow White's former horse continues to run, while the Evil Queen's comes to a stop. Snow White tumbles off the horse and the Evil Queen goes to assist her.)
Evil Queen: It's okay, dear. You're safe.
Snow White: You saved my life.
Evil Queen: Are you alright?
Snow White: Yes. But I'll never ride again.
Evil Queen: Nonsense. The only way to overcome fear is to face it. To get back on that horse as soon as possible.
Snow White: Thank you.
Evil Queen: Regina.
Snow White: I'm Snow. Snow White.
(Snow White hugs her.)
-[Real World]-
(At the station, Mary Margaret is sitting in her cell, while Emma and Mr. Gold argue.)
Emma: A pretrial interview with the prosecution? Explain to me how that is a good idea.
Mr. Gold: The D.A. merely wishes to ask Miss Blanchard a few questions.
Emma: She's done answering questions. And why are we kissing up to the D.A.? Why aren't we going after Regina? She's the one who's setting up Mary Margaret.
Mr. Gold: And what proof do we have of that, Sheriff? Just because you found the Mayor's skeleton key in the cell, doesn't mean we can prove she put it there.
Emma: So, what's your plan?
Mr. Gold: I believe our best chance of winning this case is to employ our most valuable asset.
MMB: What's that?
Mr. Gold: Well, that's you, dear. A sweet, kind, elementary school teacher. Doesn't exactly fit the prototype of a killer, now, does it?
Emma: That's how you're going to get her acquitted? By using her personality?
Mr. Gold: Perception is everything, Miss Swan - not just in the courtroom, but in life. As such, I'm sure you can imagine how the jury would perceive Miss Blanchard, if she agreed to cooperate with the District Attorney. These things engender trust. It shows the jury she's at least trying-
(Sidney enters with a vase of flowers, and interrupts the conversation.)
Sidney: Emma? Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt. I just, uh, came by to drop these off. I thought they might brighten the place up.
(Sidney goes into Emma's office to set the vase down. Emma joins him.)
Emma: What did you find?
Sidney: Nothing. I-I'm sorry, Emma. I tried, I really did. I looked into her phone records. I talked to the people at the Toll Bridge. But look, what can I say? Regina knows how to cover her tracks.
Emma: What about the murder weapon? You find anything tying her to that?
Sidney: From what I can tell, she never bought or owned a hunting knife.
Emma: That's all you were able to uncover?
Sidney: Don't worry - I'm going to keep digging. And I won't stop until I do find something.
(Sidney leaves and Emma returns to Mr. Gold and Mary Margaret.)
MMB: I'm going to do it. I'm going to talk to the D.A.
Emma: Are you sure?
MMB: Mr. Gold's right. I know I have nothing to hide, but no one else does. I need to let people see me for who I am.
(The D.A., Albert Spencer, and Regina enter.)
Albert: Excellent decision, Miss Blanchard. My name is Spencer. I'm the District Attorney. Shall we begin?
MMB: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Mary Margaret, Mr. Gold, and Albert are in an interrogation room. Regina and Emma watch from behind a large window. They listen to the conversation through a speaker.)
Albert: After she learned about your affair, Misses Nolan, the deceased, came to your school to confront you. Is that correct?
MMB: She was hurt, and she felt betrayed.
Albert: She struck you... In the face, was it?
MMB: Yes, but-
Albert: That must've made you angry.
Mr. Gold: You... You don't have to answer that.
MMB: No, it's okay. I was not angry. I was sorry for all the pain I had caused her.
Albert: Miss Blanchard, this is not a courtroom. I'm not here to judge you. You can be honest with me.
Mr. Gold: Shall we end this?
MMB: I am being honest with you.
Albert: The wife of the man you loved humiliated you in a public forum. Surely, you must have felt some anger towards Kathryn?
MMB: Yes, I was angry-
Albert: And did you ever think about acting upon that anger?
MMB: Of course not.
Albert: I have a hard time believing that.
MMB: Wh... Why?
Albert: Because you wanted Kathryn Nolan gone.
MMB: I never said that.
Mr. Gold: Alright. My client is answering no more questions for the day.
Albert: Your client agreed to this interview because she claimed she had nothing to hide.
MMB: I don't have anything to hide.
Albert: Then, what is your answer? You wanted Kathryn gone, didn't you?
MMB: No.
Albert: Even after she tried to keep you and David apart? After she slapped you in public? After she made you a pariah in your own town?
MMB: Yes, of course I wanted her gone. She was the only thing keeping us apart. So, yeah, I wanted her gone. Is that what you want to hear?
-[Fairy Tale World]-
(The Evil Queen is dressed in her usual riding outfit. She checks herself over in the mirror, when Cora enters.)
Cora: No, this won't do.
(Cora magically engulfs the Evil Queen in a puff of purple smoke. When the smoke clears, her riding outfit has been transformed into a gown and her hair has been let down.)
Evil Queen: What are you doing?
Cora: We have a guest. He'll be here any moment.
Evil Queen: I can't. I have a riding lesson with Daniel.
Cora: Well, that's been canceled. Now, smile. We don't want to disappoint him.
Evil Queen: Disappoint who?
Cora: The King.
Evil Queen: The King? Why is the King coming?
Cora: Because you've finally done something right. That little girl you saved? Is the King's daughter.
(Cora leads the Evil Queen to where Henry I, King Leopold, and his escorts are waiting.)
King Leopold: Is that her?
Henry I: Yes. Regina, honey, this is Snow White's father.
(Cora bows. The Evil Queen starts to kneel, but King Leopold stops her.)
King Leopold: No. It is I who should bow to you. You saved my daughter's life. There is no way to repay that debt. It is an honour to meet you.
Cora: Regina, dear, the King's honored to meet you. Say something.
Evil Queen: The honour is mine.
King Leopold: You're quite lucky to have a mother who looks out for you. My dear Snow has many things, but a mother is not one of them. We lost her years ago.
Evil Queen: I'm so sorry.
King Leopold: Since then, I have scoured the land looking for a wife. I've yet to find a woman with an interest in my daughter... Until now.
(King Leopold turns around and takes a ring from one of his guards. He goes down on one knee and proposes.)
King Leopold: Will you marry me, Regina?
(Henry I silently shakes his head, but Cora ignores him.)
Cora: Yes. Yes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The Evil Queen abruptly enters the stables to find Daniel.)
Evil Queen: Daniel?
(Daniel appears.)
Evil Queen: Daniel!
Daniel: What is it?
Evil Queen: Marry me.
Daniel: Regina, what are you doing? What's happened? Did you tell your mother?
Evil Queen: No. Now, I can never tell her. She won't understand. That girl I saved...was the King's daughter. And now, he's proposed to me.
Daniel: What?
Evil Queen: My mother accepted! The only way out is to run. For us to leave this place, for us to be married, for us to never come back.
Daniel: Regina... Do you understand what that would mean? Life with a stable boy is a far cry from a life as Queen.
Evil Queen: Being Queen means nothing. Daniel... All I care about is you.
Daniel: Then, if I am to marry you, we must do this properly.
(Daniel goes over to one of the saddles and unclips a ring. He then puts in on her ring finger.)
Daniel: Here.
(They kiss, but break apart when a noise disturbs them. They see Snow White at the entrance to the stables.)
Evil Queen: Snow! Dear, what are you doing?
Snow White: You said to get back on the horse and... What are you doing with him?
Evil Queen: Snow, I can explain.
(Snow White takes off.)
Evil Queen: No, no, no. Snow! Snow!
(The Evil Queen chases after Snow White through the forest. Snow White trips and the Evil Queen catches up to her, who then tries to help her.)
Evil Queen: Snow! Snow! Wait! Snow! Snow! Are you okay?
Snow White: No. No. Why were you kissing that man in the stable? You're to marry my father. You're to be my mother.
Evil Queen: Oh, Snow, please. Listen to me. Hey. Your father, King Leopold, he's a kind and fair man... But I don't love him.
Snow White: I don't understand. Why not?
Evil Queen: Love doesn't work that way. Love, true love, is magic. And not just any magic - the most powerful magic of all. It creates happiness.
Snow White: And that man in the stables... You love him?
Evil Queen: With all my heart.
Snow White: Then you must marry him. I will go tell Father right away.
(Snow White goes to get up, but the Evil Queen stops her.)
Evil Queen: No, no, no, no. You can't.
Snow White: Why not? Surely he'll understand.
Evil Queen: Perhaps. But not everyone will. My mother, for one. She'll stand in the way.
Snow White: That's why you're running.
Evil Queen: It's the only way our love can survive. Snow, do you know what a secret is?
(Snow White nods.)
Evil Queen: If you really, truly want to help me...
Snow White: I do.
Evil Queen: Then, what you saw, what I told you - you must keep it a secret. Can you do that?
Snow White: I think so.
Evil Queen: I need you to be certain. You can never speak of this. And, above all, you mustn't tell my mother. Will you do that for me?
Snow White: Yes, I promise.
-[Real World]-
(At the pier, Emma is sitting on a bench and reading through Henry's book. August walks up to her.)
August: What you doing?
Emma: Grasping at straws.
August: Still trying to find a way to prove your friend's been framed?
Emma: Every time I go down a path I think leads somewhere, it ends up being a dead end. I used to think I had these great instincts... Superpower. Ah, I don't know.
August: It sounds like you got a case of writer's block. Only without the whole writing part.
Emma: Maybe.
August: You know, when I get struck by a block, I usually reread what I've done, rather than plow ahead blindly. Sometimes, I find there'll be a little nugget of inspiration left behind.
Emma: You mean start over?
August: I mean, when I start writing, I usually have one idea. And then, in the middle, I may get another idea, and things are different.
Emma: So, your perspective changes.
August: Exactly. When you started this investigation, what was it about?
Emma: A missing person. Then, it became a murder, and then a cover-up.
August: If you knew that then, maybe you would have approached things differently.
(Emma gets up.)
August: Where you going?
Emma: Scene of the crime.
August: I'll drive.
(August follows her.)
Emma: No, I'm fine.
August: No, you're not. You haven't slept in days. And, let's be honest - it was my idea.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(August and Emma drive on August's motorcycle to the Toll Bridge. The two of them walk down an incline to the spot under the bridge where the heart was found.)
Emma: Ruby found the box with the heart right over here, just by the shore.
(August grimaces in pain.)
Emma: What's wrong?
August: Nothing.
Emma: It doesn't seem like nothing. Here, let me look.
August: No, it's okay. It's just a shin splint. Just...let me walk it off. Sorry. I know this must be hard on you.
Emma: Yeah, that's an understatement.
(Emma begins to clear rocks away from the heart site.)
August: I don't know you that well, but, it seems to me, that aside from Henry, Mary Margaret's the closest thing to family you've got. It's okay to admit it.
Emma: August, look.
(Emma pulls a piece of metal out of the sand where the heart was buried.)
August: What is it?
Emma: It's a shard. From a shovel. Must've broken off when it hit a rock. If we can find the shovel that it broke off of, we can prove that Mary Margaret didn't bury the heart. We can prove that she's innocent.
August: And I'm going to guess you know exactly whose shovel it is.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Regina's house, Regina checks on Henry, who is pretending to be asleep. When she gets in the shower, Henry grabs the walkie talkie from under his pillow. Emma and August are outside the house awaiting instructions.)
Henry: The eagle is in the nest, and the package is secure.
Emma: Henry. I left the code book at home.
Henry: She's getting in the shower and the keys are under the mat.
(Emma takes the key from under the mat and the two of them enter the garage.)
Emma: Don't touch a thing.
(Emma and August search Regina's garage with flashlights. Emma comes to several shovels, one of which is missing a piece in the corner. Emma calls August over.)
Emma: Hey.
(Emma tests the shard they found, and it ends up being a perfect fit.)
Emma: We got her.
-[Fairy Tale World]-
(Snow White is staring at the flowers in the castle. She reaches out to touch one, but is stopped by Cora.)
Cora: Careful, sweetheart. A flower is a delicate thing. Be gentle. You want it to grow and not pluck it before its time.
Snow White: Sorry.
Cora: It's alright. You needn't fear me. I'm only trying to help. Perhaps, you can be the flower girl at the wedding. I can already see how close you and Regina have become. She's going to make a fine mother for you.
(Cora leads the two of them to a couch to sit.)
Snow White: She is kind to me.
Cora: Indeed. It warms my heart how you two share everything... Already. Perhaps, you could share something with me. Why has she pulled away from me?
Snow White: What do you mean?
Cora: A mother knows her daughter. Regina's pulled away. I love her so much, but she's not letting me help her. And I... I know she's unhappy. Has she said something? I'd do anything to make her happy.
Snow White: You'd do anything?
Cora: Of course, dear. You know, I talked to the King about your mother. He told me how much she loved you. Losing her must've been so hard.
Snow White: It was.
Cora: Hearing him, I realized he might as well have been talking about me and Regina. I don't want us to lose each other. If only I could show her how I feel. That, no matter what, all I want is her happiness.
(Snow White abruptly stands up.)
Snow White: Then, don't make her get married.
Cora: I'm sorry?
Snow White: She doesn't love my father. She loves someone else. She made me promise not to tell... But she'll lose you. She can't lose her mother. No one should.
Cora: Oh, sweet Snow. It's alright. She won't lose me. You can tell me. You must tell me.
-[Real World]-
(Emma knocks on Regina's door. Regina answers.)
Regina: Can I help you, Sheriff Swan?
Emma: Yes. I need you to unlock the garage for me.
Regina: And, why would I do that?
Emma: Because I have a search warrant that says that you have to.
(Emma hands Regina a piece of paper.)
Regina: On what grounds?
(Emma holds up a bag containing the metal shard.)
Emma: I found this near where the heart was buried. Figured whoever buried it might have left something behind. Then, I got an anonymous call from someone who said they saw you digging near the Toll Bridge the day the heart was found.
Regina: An anonymous call?
Emma: Yeah. Well, I can't control the fact they didn't leave a name. I suppose they didn't want to risk pissing you off.
Regina: Hm.
Emma: Now, open the garage, or I'll find a way to do it myself.
(Regina leads Emma to the garage. Emma goes over to where the broken shovel previously was, but instead finds a shovel that's completely intact.)
Emma: Where is it?
Regina: Where is what, Sheriff?
Emma: You knew I was coming.
Regina: How on earth would I know that?
Emma: Mary Margaret is a good person. She doesn't deserve this.
Regina: Miss Blanchard is a liar and a murderer. No matter what accusations you throw my way, that won't change. She's going to pay for what she's done. That woman has destroyed the last life she is ever going to destroy.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Emma knocks on the door of August's room at the inn. August answers.)
August: Hey.
Emma: How could you do this? How could you do this to me? To Mary Margaret?
August: Whoa. Slow down. Do what?
Emma: The shovel was gone when I got there. Regina knew I was coming for it.
August: You... You think that I told her?
Emma: You were the only other person who knew about it.
August: I would hope that you would have enough faith to know that I would never betray you.
Emma: Why should I? How do I know you're not lying about this? About everything?
August: I'm not a liar.
Emma: That is exactly what a liar would say.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Mary Margaret is sitting in her cell with her head in her hands. Regina enters.)
Regina: Having a bad day?
MMB: What are you doing here?
Regina: I wanted to see you while I can.
MMB: What does that mean?
Regina: Simply, that the trial starts tomorrow, and it be won't a long one. And, you'll be sent out of Storybrooke for good, and I will never have to see you again. Oh, I want to enjoy this while I still can.
MMB: Enjoy what?
Regina: Justice.
MMB: Justice? Watching an innocent suffer?
Regina: You've always seen yourself that way, haven't you? Innocent.
MMB: I am innocent! I don't know what this is about! I don't know what I ever did to you, but whatever it was, Regina... I'm sorry. I truly am.
Regina: Apology not accepted.
MMB: Please. Don't do this to me. I don't deserve this. I did not kill Kathryn.
Regina: Oh, I know.
(Regina reaches through the bars to stroke the side of Mary Margaret's face, and then grabs her chin.)
Regina: But you do deserve this.
-[Fairy Tale World]-
(The Evil Queen, with a bag in tow, meets Daniel at the stables.)
Daniel: Are you ready?
Evil Queen: Let's go.
(They go to leave, but run into Cora at the entrance.)
Cora: You could've at least left a note.
(Cora produces a wave of magic and pushes the Evil Queen and Daniel back into the stable. She then proceeds to shut all of the doors and locks them in.)
Evil Queen: Mother, I-
Cora: Don't. You sneak out of my house in the dead of night, and think I won't notice? How dare you.
Evil Queen: You're impossible to talk to. Stop with the magic and listen to me. I want to be with Daniel.
Cora: Oh, you don't know what you want. But I do. I didn't make the sacrifices I did in life, to get you to the cusp of greatness, so that you could end up the wife of a stable boy.
Evil Queen: But it's my life.
Cora: You foolish girl. It's mine. After what I had to do... The deals, I had to make to get us out of poverty, to get us this life, and you just want to toss it away?
Daniel: Stay strong, Regina.
Evil Queen: Your magic can't keep us apart. I love him.
Daniel: And I love her.
Cora: And I love her, too.
Evil Queen: If you loved me, you wouldn't try to keep us apart.
Cora: And if you loved me, you wouldn't try to run away.
Evil Queen: I'm sorry, but this is my happiness. We're going.
Cora: No, you're not.
Evil Queen: So, what's your plan? You're going to keep us here forever? Because that's what you'll have to do. So, this is... Your decision? This will make you happy?
Evil Queen: It already has.
Cora: Then, who am I to stop you?
(The Evil Queen hugs Cora.)
Evil Queen: Thank you, mother.
(Cora takes Daniel aside to talk to him.)
Cora: Daniel. If you want to have a life together, a family... Then, there's one important lesson I can impart on you. It's what it means to be a parent. You always have to do what's best for your children.
Daniel: Thank you. I understand. Because that's what you're doing now.
Cora: Yes. It is.
(Cora plunges her hand inside Daniel's chest.)
Evil Queen: Mother!
(Cora rips out Daniel's heart. He falls to the ground and the Evil Queen rushes over to him.)
Evil Queen: No! No! No, no, no.
(Cora crushes Daniel's heart to dust.)
Evil Queen: Mother, why have you done this?
Cora: Because this is your happy ending.
Evil Queen: What?
Cora: Oh, you have to trust me, Regina. I know best. Love is weakness, Regina. It feels real now. At the start, it always does. But, it's an illusion. It fades. And then, you're left with nothing. But power, true power, endures. And then, you don't have to rely on anyone to get what you want. I've saved you, my love.
Evil Queen: You've ruined everything. I loved him. I loved him!
Cora: Enough! I've endured this long enough. Now, clean yourself up, wipe away your tears, because now... You're going to be Queen.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The Evil Queen is being fitted for her wedding dress in her chambers. Snow White enters.)
Snow White: Wow... You are most certainly the fairest of them all!
Evil Queen: Thank you, dear.
Snow White: I hope for my wedding day I will be as beautiful.
Evil Queen: I'm sure you will be.
Snow White: I know you and Daniel will be so happy together.
Evil Queen: What?
Snow White: Well, I just knew your mother would let you marry him. Once she knew how happy it'd make you, once she knew how much you love him. You have such a wonderful mother. She would do anything for your happiness.
Evil Queen: Snow... Did... Did you...tell her about me and Daniel?
Snow White: Yes.
Evil Queen: But I...told you...very specifically not to.
Snow White: I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to lose your mother. Like I've lost mine. Are you mad?
Evil Queen: No. I'm not mad at all. You were just trying to help me. However, I'm not marrying Daniel. This dress is for your father.
Snow White: But... I thought... You were in love.
Evil Queen: So did I. But I was wrong. Daniel has run away. What I had with Daniel wasn't real. It was an infatuation. You see, that's the thing about love. It can come in the most unexpected places. Your father and I have something even more special, because it's not just about the two of us. It's about all of us. We're going to be a family.
Snow White: We are?
Evil Queen: That's right. I'm going to be your stepmother, and I couldn't be happier.
Snow White: Me, too.
(Snow White hugs the Evil Queen. Cora enters.)
Cora: Snow. You need to go to your room and help with the packing. Your father wants you ready for the journey, and we're heading to your castle first thing in the morning.
Snow White: You're both going to love it there.
Cora: I know we will.
(Snow White leaves Cora and the Evil Queen alone.)
Cora: Well-played, dear. You're learning.
Evil Queen: I should change. I wouldn't want to ruin the dress before my big day.
Cora: I am so proud of you.
Evil Queen: You knew the King was traveling through our land, didn't you? That steed with Snow on it... It didn't go wild on its own, did it?
Cora: I have no idea what you're saying.
(The Evil Queen begins to leave.)
Evil Queen: I should've let her die on that horse.
-[Real World]-
(Regina is, again, fiddling with the ring Daniel gave her. She holds it to her lips and whispers to herself.)
Regina: We got her, Daniel. We got her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At the station, Mary Margaret is being handcuffed by the police. Emma and Mr. Gold watch.)
Emma: Mary Margaret...
(Mary Margaret is led out of the room.)
Emma: You told me you could fix this, that's why I came to you. So that you could make sure Regina didn't win.
Mr. Gold: She hasn't, yet.
Emma: Well, she's going to. And now, my friend is going to pay for me trusting you.
Mr. Gold: Look, Sheriff. I know this is emotional, but it's also not over. You must have faith. There's still time.
Emma: Time for what?
Mr. Gold: For me to work a little magic.
(Mr. Gold leaves and Emma goes into her office. She leans against her desk, and then picks up the vase of flowers that Sidney brought. She smashes it against the wall, but then notices a wire tap amongst the debris.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Emma is waiting for August as he exits Granny's Diner.)
Emma: Hey. I'm sorry.
August: For what?
Emma: For doubting you. I made a mistake.
(She hands him a bag containing the bug from the vase.)
August: What's that?
Emma: Evidence. Evidence that proves that I've been trusting all the wrong people. I should have listened to you. This bug was from Sidney.
August: The newspaper guy?
Emma: I should've seen it.
August: Well, don't beat yourself up about it, Emma. Sometimes, it's hard to see what's right in front of us, but I knew you would.
Emma: I'm trying.
(Suddenly, a scream is heard from behind the diner. Emma and August go to investigate. They see Ruby walking in the opposite direction.)
Emma: Ruby! What's going on?
Ruby: She... She... She's in the alley.
Emma: Who, Ruby? What happened?
August: Hey, you alright?
(Emma goes around to the parking lot in the back of the diner. There is a body laying face down on the ground. Emma leans down to turn the body over, revealing a conscious and very alive Kathryn.)
-[End]-
|
Plan: A: Emma; Q: Who is searching for evidence to prove Mary Margaret's innocence? A: the murder; Q: What is Mary Margaret accused of? A: Kathryn; Q: Who is David's wife? A: the fairytale land; Q: Where does Regina live? A: evil; Q: What blackened Regina's soul? A: loveless - life; Q: Regina must choose between betraying her mother, Cora, and marrying for true love, or betrothing royalty and living a regal - but what kind of life? A: Snow White; Q: Who does the Evil Queen loathe? Summary: Emma continues her exhaustive search for evidence that will prove Mary Margaret's innocence in the murder of David's wife, Kathryn. Meanwhile, in the fairytale land that was and before evil blackened her soul, Regina must choose between betraying her mother, Cora, and marrying for true love, or betrothing royalty and living a regal - but loveless - life; and the event that caused the Evil Queen to loathe Snow White is revealed.
|
1x01 Wolf Moon
Scott: Stiles, what the hell are you doing?!
Stiles: You weren't answering your phone. Why do you have a bat?
Scott: I thought you were a predator.
Stiles: A pre - I - wha - look, I know it's late, but you gotta hear this. I saw my dad leave 20 minutes ago. Dispatch called. They're bringing in every officer from the Beacon Department, and even State Police.
Scott: For what?
Stiles: Two joggers found a body in the woods.
Scott: A dead body?
Stiles: No, a body of water. Yes, dumb - ass, a dead body.
Scott: You mean like murdered?
Stiles: Nobody knows yet. Just that it was a girl, probably in her 20s.
Scott: Hold on, if they found the body, then what are they looking for?
Stiles: That's the best part. They only found half. We're going.
Scott: We're seriously doing this?
Stiles: You're the one always bitching that nothing ever happens in this town.
Scott: I was trying to get a good night's sleep before practice tomorrow.
Stiles: Right, 'cause sitting on the bench is such a grueling effort.
Scott: No, because I'm playing this year. In fact, I'm making first line.
Stiles: Hey, that's the spirit. Everyone should have a dream, even a pathetically unrealistic one.
Scott: Just out of curiosity, which half of the body are we looking for?
Stiles: Huh! I didn't even think about that.
Scott: And, uh, what if whoever killed the body is still out here?
Stiles: Also something I didn't think about.
Scott: It's - comforting to know you've planned this out with your usual attention to detail.
Stiles: I know.
Scott: Maybe the severe asthmatic should be the one holding the flashlight, huh?
Stiles: Wait, come on!
Scott: Stiles! Wait up! Stiles! Stiles!
Cop: Hold it right there!
Sheriff: Hang on, hang on. This little delinquent belongs to me.
Stiles: Dad, how are you doing?
Sheriff: So, do you, uh, listen in to all of my phone calls?
Stiles: No, heh. Not the boring ones.
Sheriff: Now, where's your usual partner in crime?
Stiles: Who, Scott? Sc - Scott's home. He said he wanted to get a good night's sleep for first day back at school tomorrow. It's just me. In the woods. Alone.
Sheriff: Scott, you out there? Scott? Well, young man, I'm gonna walk you back to your car. And you and I are gonna have a conversation about something called invasion of privacy.
Jackson: Dude - watch the paint job.
Danny: Yo, Jackson, let's go, bro.
Stiles: Okay, let's see this thing. Ooh!
Scott: Yeah. Whoa! It was too dark to see much, but I'm pretty sure it was a wolf.
Stiles: A wolf bit you?
Scott: Uh - huh.
Stiles: No, not a chance.
Scott: I heard a wolf howling.
Stiles: No, you didn't.
Scott: What do you mean, no, I didn't? How do you know what I heard?
Stiles: Because California doesn't have wolves, okay? Not in like 60 years.
Scott: Really?
Stiles: Yes, really. There are no wolves in California.
Scott: All right, well, if you don't believe me about the wolf, then you're definitely not gonna believe me about when I tell you I found the body.
Stiles: You - are you kidding me?
Scott: No, man, I wish. I'm gonna have nightmares for a month.
Stiles: Oh, god, that is freakin' awesome. I mean, this is seriously gonna be the best thing that's happened to this town since - Since the birth of Lydia Martin. Hey, Lydia - You look - Like you're gonna ignore me. You're the cause of this, you know.
Scott: Uh - huh.
Stiles: Draggin' me down to your nerd depths. I'm a nerd by association. I've been scarlet - nerded by you.
Teacher: As you all know, there indeed was a body found in the woods last night. And I am sure your eager little minds are coming up with various macabre scenarios as to what happened. But I am here to tell you that the police have a suspect in custody, which means you can give your undivided attention to the syllabus which is on your desk outlining this semester.
Allison: Mom, three calls on my first day is a little overdoing it. Everything except a pen. Oh, my God, I didn't actually forget a pen. Okay, okay. I gotta go. Love ya.
Vice - Principal: Sorry to keep you waiting. So you were saying San Francisco isn't where you grew up?
Allison: No, but we lived there for more than a year, which is unusual in my family.
Vice - Principal: Well, hopefully Beacon Hills will be your last stop for a while. Class, this is our new student, Allison Argent. Please do your best to make her feel welcome.
Allison: Thanks.
Teacher: We'll begin with Kafka's Metamorphosis, on page 133.
Lydia: That jacket is absolutely killer. Where'd you get it?
Allison: My mom was a buyer for a boutique back in San Francisco.
Lydia: And you are my new best friend. Hey, Jackson.
Girl: Can someone tell me how new girl is here all of five minutes, and she's already hanging out with Lydia's clique?
Stiles: Because she's hot. Beautiful people herd together.
Lydia: So, this weekend, there's a party.
Allison: A party?
Jackson: Yeah - Friday night. You should come.
Allison: Uh, I can't. It's family night this Friday. Thanks for asking.
Jackson: You sure? Everyone's going after the scrimmage.
Allison: You mean like football?
Jackson: Football's a joke in Beacon. The sport here is lacrosse. We've won the state championship for the past three years.
Lydia: Because of a certain team captain.
Jackson: Well, we have practice in a few minutes. That is, if you don't have anywhere else -
Allison: Well, I was going to -
Lydia: Perfect - You're coming.
Stiles: But if you play - I'll have no one to talk to on the bench. Are you really gonna do that to your best friend?
Scott: I can't sit out again. My whole life is sitting on the sidelines. This season, I make first line.
Coach: McCall!
Scott: Yeah?
Coach: You're on goal.
Scott: I've never played.
Coach: I know - scoring some shots will give the boys a confidence boost. It's a first day back thing. Get 'em energized, fired up!
Scott: What about me?
Coach: Try not to take any in the face. Let's go! Come on!
Allison: Who is that?
Lydia: Him? I'm not sure who he is. Why?
Allison: He's in my English class.
Jackson: Hey, way to catch with your face, McCall!
Allison: He seems like he's pretty good.
Lydia: Oh, very good.
Scott: God.
Scott: I don't - I don't know what it was. It was like I had all the time in the world to catch the ball. And that's not the only weird thing. I - I can - hear stuff I shouldn't be able to hear. Smell things.
Stiles: Smell things? Like what?
Scott: Like the mint - mojito gum in your pocket.
Stiles: I don't even have any mint - mojito - So all this started with a bite.
Scott: What if it's like an infection, like, my body's flooding with adrenaline before I go into shock or something?
Stiles: You know what? I actually think I've heard of this - It's a specific kind of infection.
Scott: Are you serious?
Stiles: Yeah. Yeah, I think it's called - lycanthropy.
Scott: What's that? Is that bad?
Stiles: Oh, yeah, it's the worst. But only once a month.
Scott: Once a month?
Stiles: Mm - hmm. On the night of the full moon. (howls) Hey, you're the one who heard a wolf howling.
Scott: Hey, there could be something seriously wrong with me.
Stiles: I know! You're a werewolf! Rrr! Okay, obviously I'm kidding. But if you see me in shop class trying to melt all the silver I can find, it's 'cause Friday's a full moon.
Scott: No, I - I could have sworn this was it. I saw the body, the deer came running. I dropped my inhaler.
Stiles: Maybe the killer moved the body.
Scott: If he did, I hope he left my inhaler. Those things are like 80 bucks.
Derek: What are you doing here? Huh? This is private property.
Stiles: Uh, sorry, man, we didn't know.
Scott: Yeah, we were just looking for something, but - Uh, forget it. Uhm. All right, come on, I gotta get to work.
Stiles: Dude, that was Derek Hale. You remember, right? He's only like a few years older than us.
Scott: Remember what?
Stiles: His family. They all burned to death in a fire, like, ten years ago.
Scott: I wonder what he's doing back.
Stiles: Come on.
Scott: Hey, kitties.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scott: Hi.
Allison: I didn't see it. I took my eyes off the road for, like, two seconds to change the song on my iPod, and then this dog, it just came out of nowhere!
Scott: It's all right, it's all right, it's all right, it's all right. Do you remember where it happened so I can send Animal Control to find it?
Allison: No! I mean, yes, I know where I hit it, but the dog is -
Scott: Where is it?
Allison: It's in my car.
Scott: You okay? She's just frightened.
Allison: That makes two of us.
Scott: Let me see if I have any better luck. I think her leg is broken. I've seen the doctor do plenty of splints. I can do it myself and then give her a painkiller for now. Yeah, I have a shirt in my bag.
Allison: Oh, I don't want to trouble you.
Scott: Here. What? I didn't see anything.
Allison: Thanks for doing this. I feel really stupid.
Scott: How come?
Allison: I don't know. 'Cause I freaked out like a total girl.
Scott: You are a girl.
Allison: I freaked out like a girly girl, and I'm not a girly girl.
Scott: What kind of girl are you?
Allison: Tougher than that. At least, I thought I was.
Scott: Hey, I'd be freaked out too. In fact, I'd probably cry. And not like a man, either. Like the biggest girly girly ever. It'd be pathetic.
Allison: Yeah, right.
Scott: So - It looks like she's gonna live. And I'm pretty sure she'll even let you pet her now, if you want.
Allison: I don't think so.
Scott: Oh, come on. You don't want her to sue. I hear this breed is very litigious. You see? She likes you.
Allison: What?
Scott: Uh. Sorry. You have an eyelash on your cheek.
Allison: Oh. It's from the crying. Thanks.
Scott: Yeah.
Scott: So, um - I was wondering - I mean - Is it really family night on Friday, or do you think maybe you'd like to go to that party with me?
Allison: Family night was a total lie.
Scott: So is that a yes, you'll go?
Allison: Definitely yes.
Scott: Good morning.
Jackson: All right, little man. How 'bout you tell me where you're getting your juice.
Scott: What?
Jackson: Where are you getting your juice?
Scott: My mom does all the grocery shopping.
Jackson: Now, listen, McCall - You're gonna tell me exactly what it is and who you're buying it from, because there's no way in hell you're out there kicking ass on the field like that without some sort of chemical boost.
Scott: Oh, you mean steroids. Are you on steroids?
Jackson: What the hell is going on with you, McCall?
Scott: What's going on with me? You really wanna know? Well, so would I! Because I can see, hear, and smell things that I shouldn't be able to see, hear, and smell. I do things that should be impossible, I'm sleepwalking three miles into the middle of the woods, and I'm pretty much convinced that I'm totally out of my freaking mind!
Jackson: You think you're funny - Don't you, McCall? I know you're hiding something. I'm gonna find out what it is. I don't care how long it takes.
Stiles: Scott! Scott, wait up.
Scott: Stiles, I'm playing the first elimination, man - Can it wait?
Stiles: Just hold on, okay? I overheard my dad on the phone. The fiber analysis came back from the lab in L.A. They found animal hairs on the body from the woods!
Scott: Stiles, I gotta go.
Stiles: Wait, no! Scott! You're not gonna believe what the animal was! It was a wolf.
Coach: Let's go! Gather round! Bring it in, come on! Come on! Got a question, McCall?
Scott: What?
Coach: You raised your hand. You have a question?
Scott: Oh - No. I was just, uh - Nothing. Sorry.
Coach: Okay. You know how this goes. If you don't make the cut, you're most likely sitting on the bench for the rest of the season. You make the cut - You play. Your parents are proud. Your girlfriend loves ya! Huh? Everything else is, uh - Cream cheese. Now, get out there and show me whatcha got! Come on!
Jackson: Let's go! Let's go!
Coach: McCall! Get over here! What in God's name was that? This is a lacrosse field. What, are you trying out for the gymnastics team?
Scott: No, coach.
Coach: What the hell was that?
Scott: I don't know. I - just trying to make the shot.
Coach: Yeah, well, you made the shot. And guess what? You're startin', buddy. You made first line. Come on!
Stiles: Get in. You gotta see this thing. I've been up all night reading - websites, books. All this information.
Scott: How much Adderall have you had today?
Stiles: A lot. Doesn't matter. Okay, just listen.
Scott: Oh, is this about the body? Did they find out who did it?
Stiles: No, they're still questioning people, even Derek Hale.
Scott: Oh, the guy in the woods that we saw the other day.
Stiles: Yeah! Yes. But that's not it, okay?
Scott: What, then?
Stiles: Remember the joke from the other day? Not a joke anymore. The wolf - the bite in the woods. I started doing all this reading. Do you even know why a wolf howls?
Scott: Should I?
Stiles: It's a signal, okay? When a wolf's alone, it howls to signal its location to the rest of the pack. So if you heard a wolf howling, that means others could have been nearby. Maybe even a whole pack of 'em.
Scott: A whole pack of wolves?
Stiles: No - Werewolves.
Scott: Are you seriously wasting my time with this? You know I'm picking up Allison in an hour.
Stiles: I saw you on the field today, Scott. Okay, what you did wasn't just amazing, all right? It was impossible.
Scott: Yeah, so I made a good shot.
Stiles: No, you made an incredible shot, I mean - The way you moved, your speed, your reflexes. Y'know, People can't just suddenly do that overnight. And there's the vision and the senses, and don't even think I don't notice that you don't need your inhaler anymore.
Scott: Okay! Dude, I can't think about this now. We'll talk tomorrow.
Stiles: Tomorrow?! What? No! The full moon's tonight. Don't you get it?
Scott: What are you trying to do? I just made first line. I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me, and everything in my life is somehow perfect. Why are you trying to ruin it?
Stiles: I'm trying to help. You're cursed, Scott. You know, and it's not just the moon will cause you to physically change. It also just so happens to be when your bloodlust will be at its peak.
Scott: Bloodlust?
Stiles: Yeah, your urge to kill.
Scott: I'm already starting to feel an urge to kill, Stiles.
Stiles: You gotta hear this. "The change can be caused by anger or anything that raises your pulse." All right? I haven't seen anyone raise your pulse like Allison does. You gotta cancel this date. I'm gonna call her right now.
Scott: What are you doing?
Stiles: I'm canceling the date.
Scott: No, give it to me!
Scott: I'm sorry. I - I gotta go get ready for that party. I'm sorry.
Scott: Mom!
Melissa: Is this a party or a date?
Scott: Maybe both.
Melissa: And her name is -
Scott: Allison.
Melissa: Allison. Nice.
Scott: Thank you.
Melissa: We don't need to have a talk, do we?
Scott: Mom, I'm not having the safe s*x talk with you.
Melissa: Oh, my God. No, I meant about keeping the tank full. Give me those back.
Scott: Are you serious?
Melissa: You bet your ass I am serious. I'm not gonna end up on some reality television show with a pregnant 16 - year - old. Come on!
Allison: You okay?
Scott: What? Yeah. I'm fine.
Allison: Are you okay?
Scott: I'll be right back.
Stiles: Yo, Scott, you good?
Girl: Are you okay?
Derek: Allison. I'm a friend of Scott's. My name's Derek.
Scott: Go away.
Stiles: Scott, it's me. Let me in, Scott. I can help.
Scott: No! Listen, you gotta find Allison.
Stiles: She's fine, all right? I saw her get a ride from the party. She's - she's totally fine, all right?
Scott: No, I think I know who it is.
Stiles: You just let me in. We can try -
Scott: It's Derek. Derek Hale is the werewolf. He's the one that bit me. He's the one that killed the girl in the woods.
Stiles: Scott - Derek's the one who drove Allison from the party.
Stiles: Scott!
Stiles: Hi, Mrs. Argent. Um - You have no idea who I am. I'm a friend of your daughter's. Uh - Look, this is gonna sound kind of crazy, um - Really crazy, actually. You know what? Crazy doesn't even describe -
Victoria: Allison! It's for you.
Scott: Where is she?
Derek: She's safe. From you.
Scott: What did you do with her?
Derek: Shh, quiet. Too late. They're already here. Run.
Chris: Take him.
Scott: Who were they?
Derek: Hunters. The kind that have been hunting us for centuries.
Scott: Us? You mean you! You did this to me!
Derek: Is it really so bad, Scott? That you can see better - Hear more clearly, move faster than any human could ever hope? You've been given something that most people would kill for. The bite is a gift.
Scott: I don't want it.
Derek: You will. And you're gonna need me if you want to learn how to control it. So you and me, Scott - We're brothers now.
Scott: You know what actually worries me the most?
Stiles: If you say Allison, I'm gonna punch you in the head.
Scott: She probably hates me now.
Stiles: Ugh. I doubt that. But you might want to come up with a pretty amazing apology. Or, you know, you could just - Tell her the truth and - Revel in the awesomeness of the fact that you're a frickin' werewolf. Okay, bad idea. Hey, we'll get through this. Come on, if I have to, I'll chain you up myself on full moon nights and feed you live mice. I had a boa once. I could do it.
Allison: So what happened? You left me stranded at the party.
Scott: Yeah, I - I know, I know. I'm really sorry, I am. But - You're gonna have to trust that I had a really good reason.
Allison: Did you get sick?
Scott: I definitely had an attack of something.
Allison: Am I gonna get an explanation?
Scott: Can you just find it in your heart to trust me on this one?
Allison: Am I gonna regret this?
Scott: Probably. So is that a yes on a second chance?
Allison: Definitely yes. That's my dad. I better go.
|
Plan: A: Scott McCall's; Q: What is the name of the main character? A: his Lacrosse team; Q: What team does Scott make? A: a date; Q: What does Scott get with the woman of his dreams? A: a werewolf; Q: What bites Scott? A: danger; Q: What could happen to the people around Scott? Summary: Everything in Scott McCall's life is starting to fall into place. He gets a spot on the First Line of his Lacrosse team and a date with the woman of his dreams. When he gets bitten by a werewolf, the people around him could be in danger.
|
Marshall, Lily, Ted and Robin are in McClaren's.
Robin: Barney's crazy if he thinks it'll work.
Marshall: I think it'll work.
Lily: I hope not.
Ted: There he is. Barney arrives at the bar, disguised as a senior.
Barney (old): You there, what's your name?
Woman: Excuse me?
Barney (old): Your name, woman, what's your name? Wife Cindy.
Barney (old): I knew it. You are "the" Cindy, one that can change everything and bring us to our downfall. Listen to me, Cindy. I am Barney Stinson, and I have an urgent mission from the future.
Cindy: From the future?
Barney (old): The future, and I can prove it to you. In exactly four seconds, the woman at this table will slap this man. Robin slaps Ted.
Ted: What are you doing?
Barney: In a few minutes, the young me your time will enter through this door. I know it sounds crazy, but to save the planet, you have to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What? I... Barney (old) to bed with Barney Stinson tonight, do whatever he wants, or he will find no solution to global warming that would save the human race.
Cindy: You mean what?
Barney (old): I have not the time to explain. I must return to reality accelerator before the vortex closes. Only you can save us, Cindy. I must go! Barney leaves the bar.
Lily: Well, the movers arrive in 14 hours. We have to go back to finish the boxes.
Robin: You have not finished? Why is it so long?
Ted: The best memories of our 20 years were held in it. It's not that throw stuff in a box. You look back at the past.
Robin: Not me. The key? Discard tips and not looking back. I go to Japan. It took me half an hour.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: I could take 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears.
Marshall: Moving is very moving.
Ted: But it is. Finally, everything changes. I will live with Stella, you will be in your new apartment. You start a new job in Tokyo. This is the end of an era. We should make a toast, but not with the usual sh1t. Your bottle of Scotch the most expensive.
Wendy: This is a Glen McKenna 50 years, and it is $ 2 500.
Ted: Excellent. A bottle of beer with it, and what do you think will cancel the Scotch? Barney enters the bar.
Barney: Vive la vodka.
Robin: It will not work.
Cindy: My God, you are... ho, my God! I offer you a drink?
Barney: I guess I have time for a drink and 45 minutes to an hour for other activities, but after that, I must return to the top secret research project I'm working on.
Cindy: Global warming?
Barney: My God! How do you know that?
GENERIC
Marshall, Lily, Robin and Ted are the cartoons.
Ted: Look at this. A photo of the day we moved. So many good memories.
Robin: Well, that's exactly the kind of crap to throw away.
Ted: So you keep a photograph?
Robin: It's like love letters, directories or the ashes of people.They take up space. In addition, she will let you not keep half your mess.
Ted: Why not?
Lily: Oh, dear. That's what the guys know that after moving in with a woman. All your stuff are idiots.
Ted: Like what?
Lily: Like everything else you bought the medieval festivals.
Ted: There is not enough drinks in the world that I drop my scourge.
Marshall: As you will not get bail, I thought you could pay me half.
Ted: Wait, why I pay more?
Marshall: Because you've treated this apart as John Bonham treated his nervous system.
Ted: That's not true.
Marshall: Proof A. He draws a card and reveals a wall damaged. Flashback Marshall entered the apartment. Ted puts his books on shelves.
Marshall: What is it?
Ted: An Encyclopedia "World Book" of 1986. It is with these that I grew up.
Marshall: Encyclopedia?
Ted: Do you think we should say-die encyclo-pil. It's a common mistake. But if you look at the direction of the bar on the "e". The symbol of this encyclopedia, you'll know it is a diacritic which aims to change... The shelves and take away the plaster fall with them.
Marshall: You know, it'll have you "dia-pays" for it. End flashback
Marshall: But you've ever done. Second, the evidence B. Flashback Ted entered the apartment, disguised.
Ted: Hello, good topics. Look what I won at the festival. He turned his scourge and pat on the ceiling. End flashback
Marshall: You're also responsible for damage to Robin when she was your girlfriend.
Robin: What damage did I do?
Marshall: Do you remember the time you got drunk the pack of beer and you've become Super Canadian? Flashback Robin plays hockey in the apartment.
Robin: Stanley Cup game six? The Rangers will regret having met with the Canucks.
Marshall: $ 20 if you manage to run it through the door.
Robin: You're more amazing than a Tim Hortons donut. Timmy Ho! It takes Lily and the intercepts. Lily is Enough. Give me the stick.
Robin: I'll give you the teeth of happiness. A little here, a little there.
Lily: Give me the stick.
Robin: Get out, bouseuse.
Lily: Let's go! Lily throws herself on her to catch the crook.
Ted: Catch it, guys!
Robin: I'll break! They fight.
Ted: Girls, stop!
Marshall: For America.
Ted: It's good enough!
Barney: It does not stop a fight between girls! Ever! He gives a fist into the wall, and made a hole. End flashback
Ted: Barney's fault entirely. As fat burning on the mantelpiece, for that matter. Flashback Lots of people are in an apartment.
Ted (2030): Children, to understand the history of the burn, I must tell you the story of the intervention for our friend, Stewart.
Stewart: What's going on?
Man: This is an intervention.
Women: Alcohol has changed you, Stewart. We recognize you more. And I love the man I married.
Stewart: Thank you. This is the boost I need. I love you all. Barney reaches a bottle in his hand.
Barney: This is the man of the evening. It's time to let the monster out of his cage!
Stewart: No.
Barney: Come on, man. People want to see Bruce Banner.They want Hulk. What? (Robin whispers in his ear) That's the invitation to have flown.
Ted (2030): This evening, we celebrated our first successful intervention. At the apartment...
Robin: I'm really proud that we have helped Stewart.
Lily: Yes, what a moment of incredible human sincerity.
Marshall: It's true. We live.
Barney: You're going to seriously continue to wear this hat?
Lily: Yes, it's been two weeks.
Marshall: Two wonderful weeks... and oh yes, I will continue to wear it. He left the apartment with the hat on. The next day...
Lily: This is an intervention.
Ted: About the hat.
Marshall: I control. I can remove it whenever I want.
Robin: "Dear Marshall, I do not like that stupid hat. I want to cut with a scythe. Or, cut the chisel, for you looks like a real jerk. "
Ted (2030): After that, the interventions have become frequent in the apartment. Lily returns.
Lily: Oh my God. This is one of p'tain of pleasant surprise. This is about what?
Ted: This is about the exaggerated English accent.
Lily: P'tain. It's time for Robin.
Robin: Self Tanner? They entice you with a coupon, and after it becomes addictive.
Lily: We know, darling, you know. This is a brand new vest. Then Barney.
Barney: What?
Robin: The magic tricks.
Lily: Specifically, those with fire.
Barney: The magic tricks? Guys, interventions are meant to help people, not to address every aspect you do not like.Sorry, but it warms me. It makes me boil! I mean, I am filled with a burning rage! (There is a magic trick, but set fire to the banner) Thanks! Oh, sh1t.
Lily: It smells like hair!
Ted (2030): And here the history of the burn. End flashback
Ted: It's weird. By removing the closet, I thought I saw the banner.
Marshall: And?
Ted: And the flag was burned. Why new? And there are letters from you all, with "Ted" written on it. You prepare a response for me?
Lily: Well, that was stupid. Yes, forget it.
Ted: That was why? The sandals? Hair products?
Marshall: No Stella.
Ted: My God, it was for Stella.
Marshall: I just said "No Stella." It was perhaps for your hearing problems.
Ted: What?
Marshall: It's getting serious. You see?
Ted: You think I should not marry Stella. You think I should not marry.
Marshall: We want him. We are all really happy for you.
Lily: Like I said, it was stupid.
Ted: Obviously, it was not, it had agreed to make interventions more stupid to work on interventions. Flashback They are all in the apartment.
Ted: We made too many interventions. End flashback
Ted: What was your biggest problem with me and Stella?
Barney (incoming): Yes! In the mouth! You said that the "Barney the future" work out. You told me I was crazy. My shrink told me I was crazy. Which is the narcissist with severe emotional disorders, Dr. Grossbard? A banner of intervention?That's what?
Ted: Stella.
Barney: "I can not remain indifferent... "
Ted: You kept it on you?
Barney: Please. "I can not remain impassive while you make the biggest mistake a man can do... get married. Keep my words, it will all part... "Flames! Oh, sh1t! I sent the flame too soon. I had so many important things to say, and... The fact is, Ted, marriage is stupid. Each year there are a million girls aged 22, sexy, who go to bars and call me, "glass half full", but I think they become beasts.
Marshall: Even you, you will meet more girls in 22 years when you get 80.
Barney: I meet this challenge.
Marshall: What challenge?
Barney: Prove that I will be just as great at 80. I'll go out with a girl of 22 years with my old man makeup.
Marshall: I did not challenge. I would love to see it, but I've not challenged. Barney part.
Ted: I want to hear the other letters.
Lily: This is ridiculous. It changed his mind.
Ted: And if you changed yet? Go Lily, listen to yours.
Lily: "The capabilities of Gilbert reading have improved considerably... "This is a letter I had to give one of my students.
[SCENE_BREAK]
A mother is in her son's room.
Woman: Things go too fast between you and a girl named Stella?
Boy: I'd like.
Ted: I can hear yours?
Robin: "Dear Ted, it's encyclo-pe-die, not encyclo-pil-die. Why you always want to say things so pretentious? Looks like a moron, and it's cr-e-tin and non-cr-ay-tin. "
Ted: You've already read the intervention on my pronunciation. Where is the letter of Stella?
Robin: I have not written. I am your ex. I told myself that everything I say is offensive. In addition, I am sexier it, so who cares?
Marshall: Water has flowed under the bridge...
Ted: Come on.
Marshall: "Dear Ted, Stella seems to be wonderful. But you do not know enough to get married. You do not know probably not enough to get involved in raising a child with her. You do not restore her service or her child or yourself by throwing yourself like that. Just take a little longer. " It was there for months, OK?That was before we know Stella and that way as she's great and what you train super torque. That's why we decided to not make this statement.
Ted: Thank you. Because I really need you to handle it.
Marshall: And we're here.
Robin: And we hope you're not sorry.
Ted: Of course not. It's not like what you said was nonsense.You you were worried.
Lily: But concerns that a completely expelled.
Ted: But you score a point. It all happened very quickly.
Marshall: You know what? This may be because... when it's good, you know.
Ted: I guess, but we are still at the stage where one seeks to know himself. And Lily, you may be right. Stella will not like my stuff. As the robot pot cake. This is the first thing we bought here, remember?
Marshall: Of course it does. My sensors indicate that your shortbread levels are dangerously low.
Ted: My collection of James Bond. You know, we looked at them in order, and... Lily spoke with this weird English accent, until the next month?
Lily: It was sophisticated.
Ted: My cleats signed by Bernie Kosar. My lamp elephant.The English phone booth. My sombrero!
Robin: What are you doing?
Ted: I unpack. I never leave this apartment.
Lily: Ted, stop unpacking. You're in the process of pinball.
Ted: I'm not ready for this responsibility, let alone to be the stepfather of a 7 year old daughter. If I get married and moved to the suburbs, in a twinkling, I exchange old! Barney at the bar, again disguised as a senior.
Barney (old): Good evening, young lady. You want a caramel?What do you mean, "nothing in common"? We're both older.
Woman: You're cute. How old are you?
Barney: 83 years. How old are you?
Female: 31 years. At the apartment...
Lily: Ted going bonkers. The movers arrive in 10 hours. His bride awaits in New Jersey. We must do something.
Marshall: I'm on it. Hey, man?
Ted: Hey.
Marshall: Come here a minute.
Ted: What?
Marshall: Know that this is quite normal. The major change can be frightening, and fear... it is one of them. So... why not you give me the knife? Give it to me. Go. That way I can unpack too. I will stay with you forever! We had a nice life here.That's why we rejected the package. Because unconsciously, we all know that it would be stupid to leave. It's safe and warm here. There is a downstairs bar, a robot cookie in the kitchen.This is my house and I never leave!
Robin: Listen up! You sound like that big beta colo. "Mom, Dad, I want to go. Cool boys play hide and seek with my inhaler. "
Marshall: I can not believe my father had read this letter at our wedding.
Robin: You can not do that to Lily. Your new apartment a few problems with the floor not right and the sewage treatment plant next door, but you will make a great home. Tell her, Lily.
Lily: This is the black hole where dreams go to die. I move it, either.
Robin: Come on.
Lily: Guys, finish unpacking. I will bake cookies to fill R2-plump.
Robin: My God, what a band of cowards! Frightened by the slightest change. Terrified by all that is new. Desperate to cling to your comfort zone. I can not go to Japan. What was I thinking? It's so far. I speak the language. I have not even good pictures of you.
Lily: Oh, honey.
Marshall: Everybody says it's good to change, right? But it's what's good?
Ted: Who wants to go to the same old bar, sit at the same place and drink the same thing? The same thing! My favorite! They arrive at the bar and discovers Barney (old) kissing a woman.
Ted: Oh, my God!
Barney: I think someone owes me $ 200.
Marshall: Barney, it was not a gamble. Person...
Barney (old): This proves that I will be as great as that when I have 80 years. Tope my arthritis.
Ted: I am moving to New Jersey.
Lily: What?
Ted: And you should move into the new apartment, and Robin should go to Japan.
Robin: Why?
Ted: Because it will age like it or not, then the real question is: do we want to go forward or clinging desperately to the past and end up like that?
Barney (old): You mean great? I am 80 years old guy, and I pack a girl of 22 years.
Woman: Take me with you, darling. I want to see your medals from World War II.
Barney (old): In an instant my child.
Marshall: Okay, it matters not.
Barney (old): What? Why?
Robin: It is French, it's like playing tennis without a net.
Ted: You know what? I take care of the warranty. It makes me happy, because every hole in this apartment is a memory I will never forget. But on one condition: you put all 10 tickets aside every week for next year and come back here and buy this tape 50 years of age, and a toast to the incredible year full of change that we had it. Remove from us. My new family and I, Marshall and Lily, in their apartment and Robin in a number of English-language journalists in the West Pacific, ending up here in New York to celebrate this day... The day we closed one chapter of our lives incredibly, to open a new one.
Woman: I had to leave my laptop...
Ted: Remove from here. In 2009...
Ted (2030): And a year later, that's exactly what we did.
Ted: So, let's raise our glasses of scotch at $ 2 500 for a year of hell.
Robin: Amazing.
Barney: It's amazing.
Ted: It's smoky, with hints of cedar and old... You see the difference between that and tape for $ 10?
Marshall: Not at all.
Barney: I would much Red Bull.
Robin: Wendy, you can take a picture?
Ted (2030): Many things we changed this year, but some have remained the same.
Lily: So if we continued the evening up there?
Marshall: Yeah.
Ted: Good idea. I have the tape. Barney enters the apartment, disguised as old.
Barney (old): What...?
Robin: Barney is an intervention.
Barney (old): Sorry, I hear you.
Marshall: That's enough, the trick of "old."
Barney (old): The trick in the middle?
Lily: Forget it.
Barney (old): Leave baby? I love this old rhyme!
Ted: I will get my problem.
Barney: You're going to get my boat?
|
Plan: A: Ted; Q: Who is the one that wants to go through with the intervention? A: the gang; Q: What does Ted call his friends? A: Stella; Q: Who is Ted engaged to? Summary: When Ted discovers that the gang ditched their plans to stage an intervention for his engagement to Stella, he is adamant that they go through with it anyway.
|
REVENGE OF THE CYBERMEN
BY: GERRY DAVIS AND ROBERT HOLMES
Part Three
Running time: 24:32
[SCENE_BREAK]
KELLMAN: You haven't killed them?
LEADER: Of course not. We have neutralised them. They are necessary to our plan. What are you doing, Kellman?
KELLMAN: This is the stranger I reported. He calls himself the Doctor.
LEADER: And because of him, our plan was advanced?
KELLMAN: It had to be. He was interfering. I'd just like to know who and what he is.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TYRAM: I am Tyram, Chief Councillor of Voga.
HARRY: How do you do. I'm Harry Sullivan, and this is
SARAH: Sarah Jane Smith.
TYRAM: What's your mission here?
SARAH: Mission? We don't have any mission. We just sort of came here by accident, didn't we, Harry.
HARRY: Yes, that's right. It's nothing to do with us, really.
TYRAM: Explain.
SARAH: We'd better start at the beginning. Well, our plan was to find the TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEADER: Once our landing is detected, the Vogans will attack in force.
KELLMAN: Oh, they have only light armaments. Nothing that can affect your Cybermen.
LEADER: This is the main shaft?
KELLMAN: Yes, this is a shaft I explored for you. It runs right to the core of Voga.
LEADER: How far from the shaft entrance is the transmat receptor area?
KELLMAN: Just a matter of yards. I set the receptors as close as possible.
LEADER: Excellent, Kellman. You have done well. The humans will carry the explosives into the shaft.
DOCTOR: What's your cut, Kellman? Voga's gold?
LEADER: There will be no gold. Voga is to be utterly destroyed, and this time we shall not fail.
DOCTOR: Oh, really.
LEADER: And you, Doctor, and your two friends will help us in this task. That is why your lives have been spared.
STEVENSON: I was wondering why you hadn't killed us.
LESTER: We don't have to help them. They can't force us.
LEADER: Oh, you are mistaken.
LESTER: You'll discover who's mistaken, chum.
LEADER: The heart of Voga is almost pure gold. Gold is hostile to our function, therefore Kellman was asked to preserve three animal organisms for this purpose.
DOCTOR: Isn't it wonderful to feel needed, Commander?
LEADER: Kellman, on our approach run, we detected an operational discharge from the transmat area. Explain that.
KELLMAN: That was his doing. He beamed his two friends down to Voga. I tried to put the transmat out of action, but he managed to fix it somehow.
LEADER: And how much do these humans know?
[SCENE_BREAK]
SHEPRAH: Vorus, leader of the Guardians, I have a message.
VORUS: Stay where you are!
VORUS: Well, Sheprah?
SHEPRAH: Tyram has given fresh orders. My troops will hold their present positions and will not attack your guild chambers.
VORUS: He has shown sense. Your city scum would be badly beaten.
SHEPRAH: Unless we are provoked, Vorus. Then we shall sweep you aside.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KELLMAN: Look, I've done everything I can to help. I set up the transmat, I directed the Cybermen. You might never have found Voga if it hadn't been for me.
LEADER: That is true, and you have been promised great rewards for your assistance.
KELLMAN: That's why I must go down to Voga to make sure that nothing goes wrong with the transmat.
LEADER: Very well. But return as soon as possible. Once the detonator cycle commences, it cannot be stopped.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TYRAM: You know something, or he thinks you do, that would incriminate him.
HARRY: Incriminate him in what?
TYRAM: Some plot against the state, against me.
SARAH: But we only met Vorus for ten minutes.
TYRAM: It's something to do with the Beacon. My suspicions about Vorus are hardening into certainty. He's always had great ambition. This city we're in was once the survival chamber for our people. We've lived here ever since, unseen, and safe from further attack from the Cybermen. You know of the Cybermen?
SARAH: Well, yes, I've heard of them, but they're meant to have been wiped out ages ago.
HARRY: I remember the Doctor saying that the thing that attacked Sarah was a cybermat.
TYRAM: I wonder. Has Vorus in the madness of his vanity brought down the vengeance of the Cybermen upon us again? You'll come with me.
HARRY: Where to?
SARAH: Where are we going?
TYRAM: Hmm? Oh, to the gold mines. It's time that Vorus accounted for himself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: What great rewards have you promised Kellman?
LEADER: The matter is of no interest to you.
DOCTOR: Everything's of interest to me, and Cybermen possess nothing that a human might want.
LEADER: You are incorrect.
DOCTOR: Then what is it? You've no home planet, no influence, nothing. You're just a pathetic bunch of tin soldiers skulking about the galaxy in an ancient spaceship.
LEADER: You speak unwisely. We are destined to be rulers of all the cosmos.
DOCTOR: No, I don't think so, somehow. You tried that once and you were nearly wiped out.
LEADER: Because of Voga and its gold. If humans had not had the resources of Voga, the Cyber War would have ended in glorious triumph.
DOCTOR: It was a glorious triumph, for human ingenuity. They discovered your weakness and invented the glitter gun, and that was the end of Cybermen except as gold-plated souvenirs that people use as hat stands.
LESTER: Watch it, Doctor. I think you've riled him.
LEADER: That is why Voga must be destroyed before we begin our second campaign.
DOCTOR: Oh, there's to be a second campaign, is there?
LEADER: We have enough parts in our ship to build an entirely new Cyber Army, and this time, Doctor, it will be invincible. Cybermen function
LEADER: More efficiently than animal organisms. That is why we will rule the galaxy.
DOCTOR: Loose thinking. The trouble with Cybermen is they've got hydraulic muscles, and of course hydraulic brains to go with them.
LEADER: Put that down!
DOCTOR: Thank you. Now, if I'm correct about what this contains, and should accidentally drop it.
DOCTOR: Now, I want some information from you, Cyber Leader.
DOCTOR: What's Kellman expecting to get out of all this?
LEADER: Kellman wants power. He will be ruler of this solar system when we have conquered it.
DOCTOR: Your puppet dictator
DOCTOR: In exchange. I wouldn't have thought his ambitions lay in that direction.
STEVENSON: Look out, Doctor.
LEADER: Do not kill them.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SHEPRAH: Another human.
KELLMAN: Take me to Vorus.
SHEPRAH: Vorus?
KELLMAN: Quickly, man. It's vital I see Vorus immediately.
SHEPRAH: Vorus is no longer in charge here.
KELLMAN: What?
SHEPRAH: Take him away.
KELLMAN: Oh, no, you don't understand. I must see Vorus! You're in danger, all of you!
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEADER: Cyberbombs, the most compact and powerful explosive devices ever invented.
DOCTOR: Yes, and their use was banned by the Armageddon Convention.
LEADER: Cybermen do not subscribe to any theory of morality in war, Doctor. Our calculations indicate that two bombs placed in the central fissure of Voga will fragmatise the planet.
DOCTOR: Fragmatise? Oh well, I suppose we can't expect decent English from a machine.
LEADER: Prime the buckles. Two bombs should be sufficient. Three will make certain.
STEVENSON: Now what have they done?
LEADER: The buckles are now primed. Any attempt to remove the harness before the countdown reaches the red zone will cause a secondary explosion. Do you understand?
LESTER: You mean, if we attempt to release the harness before then, we'll get blown up.
LEADER: Correct. It is as well to keep that thought in your minds.
DOCTOR: And when we reach the centre of Voga, we'll be fragmatised, as you put it.
LEADER: Incorrect. You will have fourteen minutes, the time period of the red zone, to reach your surface and save yourselves by the transmat beam.
STEVENSON: That is not long enough.
LEADER: Fourteen minutes is considered adequate.
DOCTOR: Anything else before we go?
LEADER: Yes, Doctor. Your progress will be followed by radar. Any attempt to deviate from the planned course will be immediately detected and the bombs exploded by means of these manual controls.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
LEADER: Countdown has commenced. You, Doctor, will leave first.
DOCTOR: Careful, careful. I might explode.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Someone's trying to attract your attention. Come on, let's get out of here!
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: If only they knew about the use of gold.
STEVENSON: You mean as a weapon?
DOCTOR: Yes. It's the only thing that's effective against Cybermen.
LESTER: Do you believe all this guff about giving us time to escape?
DOCTOR: Not a word of it. Once we've reached the explosive zone we'll have outlived our usefulness.
LESTER: So what do we do now?
DOCTOR: Keep moving. Give their radar scope something to follow.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CYBERMAN: Our warriors report all initial opposition has been crushed.
LEADER: Excellent. They are now one hundred metres below the surface.
CYBERMAN: Kellman has not returned.
LEADER: He is of no importance now. His part in our operation is at an end.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TYRAM: What's your connection with Vorus?
KELLMAN: We were working together. We wanted to lure the Cybermen into a trap.
TYRAM: What trap?
KELLMAN: We're wasting time. The Cybermen are planning to blow Voga apart.
TYRAM: What trap!
KELLMAN: The Beacon, of course. Vorus has a rocket aimed at the Beacon.
SARAH: What? Harry, we've got to warn the Doctor!
SHEPRAH: Councillor, the Cybermen are here!
TYRAM: What?
SHEPRAH: They've landed on the first level. We've suffered heavy casualties and need reinforcements.
TYRAM: How many Cybermen are there?
SHEPRAH: Two, at least. Our weapons have no effect on them.
KELLMAN: You'll never stop them that way. Vorus' rocket is your only chance. That Beacon has to be blasted out of the sky.
SARAH: No.
TYRAM: We must attack the Cybermen with every weapon we have.
SHEPRAH: Very well.
TYRAM: The rest of you, come with me. We must speak to Vorus.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LESTER: Why don't we just wait here?
DOCTOR: I think my idea's better.
LESTER: What is your idea?
DOCTOR: I don't know yet. That's the trouble with ideas. They only come a bit at a time.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TYRAM: Do you not recognise Tyram, Chief Councillor of Voga! Stand aside!
KELLMAN: We've got to see Vorus.
TYRAM: Stand aside, I say.
HARRY: Sarah, can you try and reach the transmat?
SARAH: And warn the Doctor. Right.
HARRY: I'll see if I can do something about this lot.
SARAH: Take care.
HARRY: And you.
TYRAM: Vorus, call off your guards!
VORUS: Enough. You should know better, Tyram, that to try to use force.
TYRAM: Our planet is being attacked, Vorus. At this hour, Vogans should fight together, not against each other.
KELLMAN: Vorus, is the rocket ready to fire?
VORUS: The bomb head is being fitted now.
KELLMAN: Too late. The Cybermen have already landed.
VORUS: What! Have you betrayed us?
KELLMAN: I tried to warn you. Once they were on the Beacon, I couldn't delay them any further.
TYRAM: What's this rocket that you speak of, Vorus?
VORUS: Very well, I'll show you.
KELLMAN: Where's the girl?
HARRY: She's gone to warn the Doctor, of course. If people are going to start firing missiles at him, what do they expect?
KELLMAN: If that girl reaches the Beacon and starts blabbing about the rocket, the Cybermen will explode their bombs.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CYBERMAN: Average progress rate is fifty metres per minute.
LEADER: Excellent. They will be in the central chamber of Voga.
LEADER: In seventeen minutes.
CYBERMAN: Distortion on our radar scope is increasing. The three humans who are carrying our bombs can no longer be identified by separate signals.
LEADER: That is of no importance now. Even the Doctor believes they will be given time to escape before our bombs explode. They do not know the detonators will fire when the countdown enters the red zone.
[SCENE_BREAK]
VORUS: Magrik and his team have been working on it for two years, and now we've lost the race by minutes.
KELLMAN: There might still be a chance if that rocket can be fired before the Cyberbombs are in position.
VORUS: Magrik reports a delay in fitting the bomb head. No, we've lost our gamble, Kellman.
TYRAM: You're insane, Vorus. You've brought about the destruction of our race.
VORUS: I wanted to bring them freedom, Tyram. Freedom from fear, freedom to live as Vogans should, on the surface, not cowering like worms in the earth.
TYRAM: And this great plan was conceived in the company of such as he, a double agent, a despicable traitor, a murder of his own kind? A man whose only loyalty is to himself and the gold he hopes to win.
VORUS: The plan would have worked. I just needed more time.
HARRY: Look, all this recrimination's pretty pointless, isn't it. What we've got to do is get down into that central shaft and stop the bombs being planted.
KELLMAN: The Cybermen hold the entrance. There's no way past them.
HARRY: I should think there's another way down, wouldn't you, Kellman?
KELLMAN: Only the central shaft runs that deep, and the galleries don't connect with it.
TYRAM: Wait. When it was widened, a cross shaft was bored to provide ventilation. I've seen it in our records.
HARRY: Well, let's go and take a look.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Steady.
STEVENSON: I'm getting a bit old for this sort of thing.
DOCTOR: We'll rest for a moment.
LESTER: Had any more bits of that idea, Doctor?
DOCTOR: The deeper we go, the heavier the concentration of gold. Before long, it must start affecting their radar picture.
LESTER: Then what?
DOCTOR: Well, it's an outside chance, but if we can get back without being detected, and take the Cybermen from behind. All right now, Commander?
STEVENSON: Yes, I think so.
DOCTOR: Let's go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TYRAM: It runs for about fifty metres, and the rock's friable. It'll be very dangerous after all these years.
HARRY: Well, in that case, we'll send our expert on ahead. In you go, Kellman.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: I'm sorry, Doctor. I'm a bit whacked.
DOCTOR: Sit down a moment. Actually, I think we're very near the centre now. This is pretty well solid gold.
LESTER: I wonder if these buckles really would explode.
STEVENSON: I shouldn't put it to the test. They'll explode, all right.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KELLMAN: It's blocked.
HARRY: Let's see it.
KELLMAN: It's no use. We'll have to turn back.
HARRY: They're giving a bit.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Look out! Get back!
[SCENE_BREAK]
KELLMAN: Look out!
[SCENE_BREAK]
HARRY: Doctor. Just a bump on the noggin, Doctor. Nothing to worry about. Let's get you out of this thing.
|
Plan: A: The Cybermen; Q: Who forces the Doctor, Stevenson and Lester to carry bombs to the centre of Voga? A: bombs; Q: What do the Cybermen force the Doctor, Stevenson and Lester to carry? A: Vorus; Q: Who do Sarah, Harry and Tyrum decide to contact? Summary: The Cybermen force the Doctor, Stevenson and Lester to carry bombs to the centre of Voga while Sarah, Harry and Tyrum decide to contact Vorus.
|
THE GREEN DEATH
BY: ROBERT SLOMAN
5:50pm - 6:15pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY (NIGHT)
(In the silent laboratory, the egg starts to twitch. The shell breaks and a maggot emerges. It starts to slither out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LIVING ROOM (NIGHT)
(JO leafs through the book in the firelight.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY (NIGHT)
(The maggot is now on the floor. It slithers towards the doorway and out into the hallway.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LIVING ROOM (NIGHT)
(JO is still absorbed in her book. Her back is to the door. She therefore fails to see as the maggot enters the room and rears up slightly as it senses her presence. It then carries on slithering towards her unprotected back. HINKS appears at the French window. He looks into the room and then silently opens the window and creeps in. The maggot changes direction and moves towards him while he in turn is creeping up on JO. HINKS glances round and sees the approaching maggot. His face registers a mixture of horror and disgust as the grub rears up and jumps up at the thug's hand, biting into it. HINKS yells with pain and horror. JO jumps up, sees what is happening and screams. The maggot falls off his hand and slithers quickly towards the open window and HINKS falls to the ground crying out with the pain of the infected bite. CLIFF, the DOCTOR, NANCY and another man of the community come running into the room.)
JO: Doctor! Doctor!
CLIFFORD JONES: What is it, Jo? What's happened?
JO: I don't know! I heard him shout and turned round, this...then I saw a maggot on him! Look, you can still see its trail.
(A trail of the green slime runs across a rug and the parquet floor.)
DOCTOR: The egg - it must have hatched out.
NANCY: We'll go after it.
(JO and CLIFF attend to HINKS.)
DOCTOR: Nancy - now be careful. Find out where it's gone and come back here at once.
NANCY: Right.
(NANCY and the man go through the window. Meanwhile HINKS is starting to breathe badly.)
JO: Who is he?
CLIFFORD JONES: It's the bloke that drives Stevens around. His private strong-arm man.
JO: Doctor, will he die?
DOCTOR: Well the others did.
CLIFFORD JONES: Oh, he's getting weaker already. I'll ring for an ambulance.
DOCTOR: Yes, and the Brigadier.
CLIFFORD JONES: Right.
(He leaves the room as NANCY comes back in through the window from the night.)
NANCY: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes?
NANCY: It's disappeared. The trail's stopped by the window.
DOCTOR: Thank you, Nancy. Can't be helped.
(Using a pencil, the DOCTOR scoops up some of the slime off the floor.)
DOCTOR: Well, at least we can analyse this slime.
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
(It is the next morning. The UNIT troops have arrived in force and unloading ammunition boxes marked "EXPLOSIVES" near the mine under the watchful eye of the BRIGADIER. He moves to another part of the mine workings where SERGEANT BENTON is yelling instructions at more troops.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Come on, Dicks, get a move on!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sergeant Benton!
SERGEANT BENTON: Yes sir?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The charges laid?
SERGEANT BENTON: Not yet, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well get on with it.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, sir.
(They walk up some steps to where they can see the main gate and the road across which the troops have put up a barrier. The village MILKMAN is there, arguing with the sentries.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What's going on down there?
MILKMAN: (Angrily.) What's going on here?
(The BRIGADIER walks down to the barrier as the argument continues...)
MILKMAN: (Angrily.) Orders? What do you mean - orders?
(The MILKMAN approaches the Corporal in charge.)
MILKMAN: I suppose if your officer gave you orders to kick the Prince of Wales, old Callow, up his royal britches, you'd do it, I suppose, would you? What about Miss Cartwright's ginger cat, eh?
(As the BRIGADIER approaches, the soldiers laugh at the MILKMAN'S comments.)
MILKMAN: At death's door, he is, poor devil, not to mention Tom the sea captain.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, let him through.
(The soldiers start to pull the barrier away as the MILKMAN smiles.)
MILKMAN: Ah, an educated man, you see? Thank you, Captain.
(The MILKMAN turns back to his float but then stops.)
MILKMAN: Hey, what are you doing up at the pit? Going to blow it up, are you?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: How did you know that?
MILKMAN: Well, I've got eyes, haven't I?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, you have. And now perhaps you'll be good enough to be on your way.
MILKMAN: Such courtesy. Thank you, Captain.
(The MILKMAN smiles, cheekily salutes and walks off to his float.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To himself.) Blast!
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(CLIFF puts a slide under his microscope and looks through it. The DOCTOR fills a test-tube and JO watches.)
DOCTOR: Well?
CLIFFORD JONES: Aye, you're right. It's incredible. The DNA must be invading the foreign cells.
JO: Look, I'm sorry, I know I'm a cloth-head...
CLIFFORD JONES: (Interrupts.) Well, that's alright, love - not your fault!
JO: Yes, but I don't understand.
DOCTOR: Well, it's quite simple, Jo. We're putting some of the green cells from the maggot's trail with some human body cells.
JO: (Appalled.) Which? I mean, which body? Whose body?!
CLIFFORD JONES: Mine - mucus membrane cells.
JO: Did it hurt?
DOCTOR: Oh, Jo, really!
JO: I'm sorry.
CLIFFORD JONES: Well, the point is that the maggot cells changed the internal structure of the human cells into their own nature.
DOCTOR: Yeah, rather as a virus does.
JO: (To CLIFF.) You mean, your cells turned into maggot cells?
CLIFFORD JONES: In effect, yes.
JO: That's what happened to those poor miners.
DOCTOR: Correct, Jo, correct.
JO: Well, what now?
DOCTOR: Well, we'll just have to get a hold of one of those maggots, won't we?
JO: Down the mine again?
DOCTOR: Well, I don't like the idea any more than you do, Jo, but we've no alternative.
JO: No.
(NANCY comes into the room.)
NANCY: Cliff? Old Jones the Milk says they're going to blow up the mine!
DOCTOR: What?
(He runs from the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
(The cloaked DOCTOR reached the mine and is in the not-unusual position of arguing with the BRIGADIER.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sorry, Doctor, those are my orders.
(They walk down some steps towards BENTON, JO and CLIFF. Nearby are some troops completing operations.)
DOCTOR: Orders? Whose orders? Not that fellow from Global Chemicals?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: It's the only sensible thing to do. Seal those things inside there for good. Ready, Benton?
SERGEANT BENTON: Standing by, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Alright then, clear the area.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, sir.
(He crosses over to the troops as the DOCTOR continues to plead with the BRIGADIER.)
DOCTOR: Wait, wait, Brigadier - give me an hour.
SERGEANT BENTON: (To the troops.) Okay, lads, clear the area!
DOCTOR: Give me half an hour. At least give me a chance to talk to the wretched man.
(The BRIGADIER consults his wristwatch.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You've exactly thirty-two and a half minutes.
DOCTOR: Right.
(He sets off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
(At Global Chemicals, the DOCTOR has no success with STEVENS.)
STEVENS: For over a quarter of an hour I've listened patiently to you, Doctor - now it's my turn.
DOCTOR: Mr. Stevens, at the moment those maggots and their eggs are situated in one place where we can observe them. Now if you seal off that mine, then we shall have no way of knowing...
STEVENS: (Interrupts.) Please, Doctor! There is no point in going on like this. You have convinced me.
DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) Oh, then you don't intend to blow up the mine?
STEVENS: You have convinced me that you are an arrant sensation monger, a political hothead and a scientific charlatan! Giant maggots indeed!
(The DOCTOR raises his voice...)
DOCTOR: All I'm asking for is a little more time!
STEVENS: (Shouts.) Time to spread more calumnies - more lies!
DOCTOR: Time to find out the truth. Time to find out if the waste from your product is causing these maggots to appear!
STEVENS: (Shouts.) That's enough! I warn you, Doctor, if you persist in these slanders, I shall have you restrained under the emergency powers act!
DOCTOR: You have no such right!
STEVENS: The necessary authority was brought to me this morning.
(He presses the intercom on his desk.)
STEVENS: Stella?
(It buzzes once...)
STEVENS: Ask Mr. Elgin to bring in the man from the ministry, will you?
(...and then buzzes twice.)
STEVENS: Do you realise what my process can mean to the economy of this country? Can you imagine any government allowing such...
(The door opens and ELGIN leads a man in.)
STEVENS: Ah. come in, will you? Doctor, may I introduce you to Mr. Yates?
(The DOCTOR, paying little attention to the two newcomers thus far, suddenly looks up.)
CAPTAIN YATES: How do you do?
(CAPTAIN YATES, out of uniform and in a smart suit, gives the DOCTOR the most subtle of meaningful looks. The DOCTOR nods.)
DOCTOR: How do you do?
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
(The BRIGADIER checks his watch.)
JO: Come on, Doctor, come on! (To CLIFF.) How much longer?
(CLIFF checks his own watch.)
JO: It's too late, isn't it?
CLIFFORD JONES: In two and a half minutes, the Brigadier's going to press that button.
(He looks over at the detonation button.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
(The DOCTOR, whilst maintaining the cover, is now arguing with YATES as STEVENS and ELGIN watch on.)
DOCTOR: If he does that, it'd be criminal folly!
CAPTAIN YATES: I'm sorry, Doctor, but the Brigadier's orders and my own are quite clear.
DOCTOR: (Furiously.) Orders! Is nobody capable of acting on their own around here?
CAPTAIN YATES: I'm sorry.
(STEVENS smiles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
(The BRIGADIER looks at his watch.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, Benton - stand by.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, take cover, lads. Stand by!
(The troops take cover behind a mining truck. BENTON adjusts a fuse and lifts the detonation handle. A short distance away, JO and CLIFF with other troops watch.)
JO: No, you can't!
(The BRIGADIER joins them and counts down on his watch.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Ten...nine...eight...
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
DOCTOR: (To YATES, shouting.) You must stop him!
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Five...four...
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (Shouts.) I can't!
DOCTOR: (Shouts.) You must!
[SCENE_BREAK]
15: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Two...one...fire!
(BENTON plunges down the handle and a series of enormous explosion erupts from the working buildings of the mine, bringing them down and destroying the galleries beneath.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
(The sound of the explosion reaches STEVENS' office. The Director stands up.)
STEVENS: The point has become academic, it would seem?
CAPTAIN YATES: (To the DOCTOR.) Perhaps it's all for the best.
(The DOCTOR rounds on YATES and speaks to him in a quietly dangerous tone.)
DOCTOR: The best! I think you'll find, Mr. Yates, that this is the worst day's work the world has seen for many, many years.
STEVENS: I don't think we need detain you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: No.
(He heads for the door which ELGIN holds open for him.)
STEVENS: And Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes?
STEVENS: (Coldly.) I would advise you not to come back here. If you should be so foolish, you would be received with considerably less courtesy.
(The DOCTOR looks at the three men, nods and walks out. STEVENS' manner softens...)
STEVENS: And now, Mr. Yates, we must make sure you are well looked after during your little stay. Elgin? Show Mr. Yates to the visitor's suite, will you?
CAPTAIN YATES: Thank you, Mr. Stevens.
ELGIN: Do you have a case?
CAPTAIN YATES: It's in the car.
(He follows ELGIN out.)
ELGIN: Good, we can get it out together...
(STEVENS watches them go and the door closes. STEVENS, a smile on his face lets out an audible sigh of satisfaction. The wall monitor oscilloscope starts...)
BOSS'S VOICE: Ah, Stevens, the adrenaline flowing nicely? Living dangerously? That's how you get your kicks like the good little Nietzschean you are - right?
STEVENS: I...don't know what you mean?
BOSS'S VOICE: No? Oh, supposing that this Doctor had managed to persuade them to hold up the sealing of the mine. The Brigadier is a friend of his, you know?
STEVENS: It...would only have been temporary.
BOSS'S VOICE: Ah, long enough, perhaps, for them to get one of these creatures. Not safe to ask outsiders to do our work for us.
STEVENS: Of course.
(He bows to the monitor.)
STEVENS: I'm sorry.
BOSS'S VOICE: Oh, don't apologise, my little superman! Huh! Just be sure next time. The day is coming fast - D-day! ... ! Nothing must be allowed to stop it! Nothing!
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(The DOCTOR, JO, CLIFF and the BRIGADIER have returned to Wholeweal. The DOCTOR hangs up his jacket, ready to start work again on the slime.)
JO: Mike Yates - here?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes.
DOCTOR: Well, why didn't you tell me?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Didn't give me much of a chance, did you?
JO: Well what's the idea?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Smiles.) Well, I'm not such a dunderhead as you all seem to think. I don't like this fellow Stevens any more than you do.
DOCTOR: Then why did you blow up the mine?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Orders, Doctor, orders. I'm still a soldier, you know. But that doesn't stop me having an inside man to have a shuftie round.
DOCTOR: Yes, well I take your point, Brigadier. But, you know, there are times when I do wish that your devotion to duty was a trifle more...flexible, shall we say?
(He joins CLIFF at the bench.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I don't understand you lot. Seems to me the problem's solved. We'll see no more of those creepie-crawlies, you mark my words.
(All three look up at the soldier...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(An aproned CLEANER approaches the pumping room door with the tools of her trade. She unlocks the door and enters.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. PUMPING ROOM
(Once within the room, she suddenly cries out and drops her cloth and dustpan in shock.)
CLEANER: Oh no!
(Beyond the inspection hatch of the pipe can be seen the maggots, crawling about in their green slime. The CLEANER runs for the door.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(Outside, she runs straight into ELGIN.)
CLEANER: Oh!
ELGIN: Mrs. Griffiths - what on earth's the matter?
(She points back into the pumping room.)
CLEANER: Oh, in there! Horrible, it is!
(ELGIN enters the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. PUMPING ROOM
(He stops in shock when he sees the mass of maggots beyond the glass.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
22: EXT. SLAGHEAP
(A UNIT jeep drives across the slagheap which adjoins the now destroyed mine. It stops near a patrolling soldier and BENTON gets out of the passenger seat and speaks to the soldier.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Everything okay?
(The soldier waves and nods.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Well, keep your eyes open, just in case.
(BENTON is about to get back into the jeep but something at the feet of the soldier catches his eye and he looks down to see a maggot emerging from the clinker next to the soldier's boot.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Look out, man! Get back!
(The soldier jumps back as the maggot hisses at him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. STEVENS' OFFICE
(ELGIN has come to STEVENS with the news of the maggots but the Director is airily dismissive of the problem.)
STEVENS: Nonsense!
ELGIN: It is not nonsense! The pipe is full of them! They're about two feet long. They must have come up from the bottom of the mine. Everything that Doctor said is true.
STEVENS: I'm not disputing it, dear boy, but there's no need to get so excited about it. There's a simple remedy - pump down more waste and flush 'em away.
ELGIN: That is just shoving the problem underground. We've been poisoning the mine for long enough.
STEVENS: (Sharply.) Poisoning? I find your choice of words a trifle excessive.
ELGIN: (Shouts.) There are three people dead, Mr. Stevens!
STEVENS: (Shouts.) The mine has been sealed!
ELGIN: (Calmly.) Am I to understand that you propose to do nothing about this?
STEVENS: I see no necessity.
ELGIN: Then I must find somebody who will.
(He moves to the door but before he can open it, STEVENS presses a button on his desk and the door lock can be heard moving into place. ELGIN remains calm.)
ELGIN: Please unlock this door.
(STEVENS looks at him and then moves in front of the console.)
STEVENS: Come and sit down, Elgin.
ELGIN: Unlock the door.
(STEVENS considers and then presses a button on the console. An electronic shriek fills the room and ELGIN clamps his hands to his ears in pain. His face clouds over and he removes his hands.)
STEVENS: Sit down.
(ELGIN, moving as if possessed, moves to a visitor's chair. STEVENS unpacks the sinister headset.)
STEVENS: Don't worry. I won't hurt you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
24: EXT. EDGE OF THE SLAGHEAP
(The BRIGADIER is at the edge of the slagheap, where the UNIT troops have retreated to, watching events through a pair of binoculars. Barriers have been set up to prevent entry to the area. SERGEANT BENTON drives up in a jeep and joins him.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Sir? I thought it best to back it up a bit - seeing as you said they could jump.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, quite right, Benton, quite right.
(He looks through his binoculars. The whole area of the slagheap is covered with hundreds of crawling, slithering maggots.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: There's another lot.
(He looks in another direction.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: They're all over the place!
[SCENE_BREAK]
25: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(The DOCTOR puts a phone down.)
DOCTOR: Well, they're all over the place.
JO: You mean they...they've tunnelled their way out?
DOCTOR: The maggots are some sort of larvae...and not the finished product. Trying to find their way to daylight.
CLIFFORD JONES: They must be coming up some of the old shafts in the mine - breaking through the last few feet of earth.
JO: But how did it happen?
CLIFFORD JONES: Oil waste from Global Chemicals must have contaminated some of the maggots causing an atavistic mutation.
JO: Giant maggots?! Well what kind of insects are they going to turn into?
DOCTOR: That's a very good question, Jo.
[SCENE_BREAK]
26: EXT. EDGE OF THE SLAGHEAP
(Three writhing maggots hiss at a UNIT soldier as he patrols near the edge of the slagheap. He runs off from them. Nearby, several soldiers pump bullet after bullet into the creatures. They have no effect and the soldiers retreat. The soldier who ran from the maggots, reaches the BRIGADIER and the DOCTOR and points out the nearby creatures.)
UNIT SOLDIER: Sir - look!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, I see 'em.
(He unholsters his own pistol.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, I never thought I'd fire in anger at a...dratted caterpillar, but...
(He fires several shots at them but the maggots are unharmed.)
DOCTOR: No, not a chance, Brigadier. Thick chitinous plates protecting the whole body surface - it's armour- plated.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Alright, we'll try AP bullets. (To the soldier.) Give 'em ten rounds rapid.
UNIT SOLDIER: Sir.
(The soldier aims with his rifle and fires the ten heavier shots at a maggot but the bullets ricochet off its shell. The BRIGADIER speaks into his TM45 radio.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into radio.) Greyhound one to greyhound three - how's the spray working - over?
SERGEANT BENTON: (OOV: Over radio.) No, it's no good, sir.
[SCENE_BREAK]
27: EXT. ANOTHER PART OF THE SLAGHEAP
(An insecticide is being sprayed over more maggots but they are moving relentlessly forward.)
SERGEANT BENTON: (Into radio.) They seem to thrive on it - the same with every pesticide we try.
[SCENE_BREAK]
28: EXT. EDGE OF THE SLAGHEAP
DOCTOR: There's only one real answer - a biological counter-strike.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: With what?
DOCTOR: Professor Jones is working on it...but he needs more living tissue.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, there's any amount of it out there going begging.
DOCTOR: No, wait! I don't like it. Nobody should have to risk infection until we know we have a cure. We want no more deaths.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What then?
DOCTOR: Can you get me any oil waste from Global Chemicals?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Simplicity itself.
DOCTOR: Good.
[SCENE_BREAK]
29: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
(CAPTAIN YATES has been allocated a small office at Global Chemicals. His phone rings and he finishes stirring a cup of tea and answers it.)
CAPTAIN YATES: (Into phone.) Yates? (He listens.) Oh... (Coughs.) Lethbridge Stewart - my dear chap. What can I do for you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
30: INT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY. PITHEAD OFFICE
(The BRIGADIER is using the pithead office, undamaged in the explosions.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Your report, Captain Yates. Have you discovered anymore about their oil formula?
[SCENE_BREAK]
31: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (Into phone.) No. No, everyone's being most helpful.
[SCENE_BREAK]
32: INT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY. PITHEAD OFFICE
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Can you get the Doctor a sample of the oil.
[SCENE_BREAK]
33: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (Into phone.) Of course not, Brigadier. If ever I want anything, there's always somebody right at my elbow...to lend a hand.
(YATES looks up at a GUARD stood next to him who has been permanently assigned to escort him. The man smiles down at his charge as he stirs his own cup of tea.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
34: INT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY. PITHEAD OFFICE
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) I see. So you've got nothing.
DOCTOR: Let me talk to him.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Hold on a minute.
(He passes the phone to the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: (Into phone.) Captain Yates - the Doctor here. Now look, I'm going to have a stab at getting in there myself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
35: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (Into phone.) Well naturally, I have the utmost confidence in the security. In fact, they've, er, doubled it up since the problem arose. So we've no worries there.
[SCENE_BREAK]
36: INT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY. PITHEAD OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (OOV: Over phone.) Nobody can get in.
DOCTOR: (Into phone.) I see. Well, erm, keep a look out for me anyway, will you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
37: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
CAPTAIN YATES: (Into phone.) Yes, of course. Goodbye.
(He puts the phone down and picks up a biscuit off a plate.)
CAPTAIN YATES: These military types. Always worrying about something, aren't they?
(The guard nods and sips his tea.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
38: INT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY. PITHEAD OFFICE
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You've set yourself quite a task, Doctor. They're pretty efficient up there.
DOCTOR: Yes. Yes, I know.
(He crosses to the window and looks out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
39: EXT. LLANFAIRFACH COLLIERY
(The milkfloat passes. From the window, the DOCTOR smiles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
40: EXT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. MAIN GATE
(The milkfloat approaches the main gate of Global Chemicals. The barrier is raised and one of the GUARDS steps forward. Sat in the milkfloat, wearing coat, cap, glasses and a false moustache is the DOCTOR.)
GUARD: (Suspiciously.) Where's the other bloke?
(The DOCTOR replies in a old wheezy voice and a Welsh accent.)
DOCTOR: Ohh...the poor boyo is taken very sick. Er, something he ate, his mam said.
GUARD: Oh, who are you then?
DOCTOR: Me, er, oh, I'm his Da. I mean, they told me I was too old to take over, they did, but I...I've been doing this milk round, ooh, fifty-three years, wet or fine, didn't I?
(The GUARD starts to get bored.)
DOCTOR: Oh, er, there's life in the old dog yet. Ah, I...I was only saying to Rosie up at the "Red Dragon", a big fine strapping girl she is...
GUARD: (Interrupts.) Look, I haven't got time to listen to you blathering - just get on in.
DOCTOR: Thank you.
GUARD: Yes, and you.
(The DOCTOR starts the float up again and drives into the complex.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
41: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(JO holds up two test tubes of the green slime while CLIFF extracts a sample from one of them and smears it on a slide.)
JO: You know, when I first started working for UNIT, the Brigadier told me this was going to be my job. You know, holding test tubes for the Doctor and telling him how brilliant he was! (Laughs.) Never seemed to get around to it though somehow.
CLIFFORD JONES: A pretty dull sort of job.
JO: I don't know - I'm rather enjoying this.
CLIFFORD JONES: Aye, so am I.
(They smile at each other. CLIFF places the slide next to several others on the lab bench.)
CLIFFORD JONES: Look, Jo...
JO: Mmm hmm?
CLIFFORD JONES: When all this business is over, I was wondering if you'd...
(JO turns and knocks a jar of brown powder all over the slides.)
CLIFFORD JONES: Ow!
JO: Oh, Cliff!
CLIFFORD JONES: You clumsy young goat - you've ruined the lot!
JO: I'm sorry!
CLIFFORD JONES: All wasted.
JO: Well, what was that stuff?
CLIFFORD JONES: Dry fungus - my hybrid. I'll have to do the whole lot again.
JO: Well, no you won't because all you've got to do...
(JO reaches out for the slides but CLIFF knocks her hands back.)
CLIFFORD JONES: No, leave it! I shudder to think what might happen.
JO: I'm sorry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
42: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(The DOCTOR, still in his milkman disguise and with container of bottles in his hand, makes his way down a corridor, past an unsuspecting guard. He turns a corner and looks round. Suddenly a klaxon alarm blares out followed by an electronic voice...)
VOICE: Phase three alert...in central security area. Intruder believed to be in main block dressed as milkman.
(The DOCTOR opens a door and looks in. It seems to be a storeroom for the cleaners.)
VOICE: Apprehend and detain.
[SCENE_BREAK]
43: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CLEANER'S CUPBOARD
(He enters and closes the door.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
44: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(Outside, guards run past in their search.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
45: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CLEANER'S CUPBOARD
(The DOCTOR starts to divest himself of his disguise although the false moustache momentarily sticks to his fingers.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
46: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(CLIFF is looking intently through his microscope.)
JO: Cliff?
CLIFFORD JONES: Mmm?
JO: What you really need is a maggot, isn't it?
CLIFFORD JONES: First things first.
JO: Okay, well what shall I do?
CLIFFORD JONES: Keep me company, make some coffee?
(He returns to his work.)
JO: Like a dutiful tea girl?
CLIFFORD JONES: (Not listening.) Fine.
JO: In a frilly cap and an apron?
CLIFFORD JONES: (Not listening.) Perfect.
JO: Would you like a nice cup of arsenic?
CLIFFORD JONES: (Not listening.) Fine, fine, whatever you've got.
(JO sighs. She thinks and then grabs a pen and notepad. She scribbles a note and places it next to CLIFF.)
CLIFFORD JONES: Thanks.
(JO looks round the room and spots an empty wicker cat carrier. She picks it up and leaves the room. CLIFF, intent on his work, doesn't notice.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
47: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(YATES is accompanied by his GUARD as they walk down the corridor. They pass a cleaner in apron and headscarf who has smeared a window with polish. As they move towards a lift door, the cleaner turns. It is the DOCTOR. He desperately waves his cloth at YATES but he doesn't get his attention. The two reach the lift and the GUARD presses the button to summon the lift.)
CAPTAIN YATES: What's all the fuss?
YATE'S GUARD: Oh, some milkman - wandering about where he shouldn't be. They'll find him.
(YATES turns and sees the DOCTOR who has written "GET RID OF HIM!" in the polish and is urgently pointing between the message and the unseeing GUARD. The lift door opens. The GUARD sees YATES looking intently at the "cleaner" who is scrubbing away at the polish.)
YATE'S GUARD: Okay?
CAPTAIN YATES: Yeah.
(They enter the lift and the GUARD presses the button.)
CAPTAIN YATES: Oh, I've forgotten my attaché case.
(YATES jumps out of the closing doors and away from the alarmed GUARD.)
CAPTAIN YATES: I'll join you downstairs!
(The doors close and YATES rubbing his hands with glee runs over to where the DOCTOR, bucket held like a handbag, holds up an imperious finger and speaks in a deep feminine voice like Wilde's Lady Bracknell in drag...)
DOCTOR: You say one word...
(YATES looks him over.)
CAPTAIN YATES: I like your handbag!
DOCTOR: Do you? Well watch out I don't slosh you with it!
(He throws the empty bucket into YATES' hands and speaks in his normal voice.)
DOCTOR: Now, where can we talk?
CAPTAIN YATES: In my office.
DOCTOR: Right, come on.
(They move off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
48: EXT. EDGE OF THE SLAGHEAP
(JO makes her way towards the slagheap, cat carrier in hand. SERGEANT BENTON draws up in a jeep and JO hastily holds the carrier behind her.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Hello, looking for the Doctor?
JO: Er...er, yes.
SERGEANT BENTON: Well, he's not here. Gone over to the complex.
JO: Oh. Alright, I think I'll take a look around...while I'm here.
SERGEANT BENTON: Sorry, Miss Grant, Brigadier's orders an' all that. It's too dangerous up there, with all those things popping up out of the ground all over the place.
JO: Oh. Alright.
SERGEANT BENTON: See you later then, bye.
(He drives off. JO watches him go and then carries on.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
49: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. YATES' OFFICE
(The DOCTOR and YATES enter the office. The DOCTOR puts down his cloth and bottle of polish on a filing cabinet.)
DOCTOR: Alright, Captain Yates, what have you found out?
CAPTAIN YATES: Well clearly, Global Chemicals is responsible for the trouble at the pit.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, I know, that's obvious. But have you been able to get a hold of any of that waste?
CAPTAIN YATES: Be like stealing the crown jewels.
DOCTOR: Well, can you get a hold of the formula?
CAPTAIN YATES: Not much chance, but we could try.
DOCTOR: Where's it kept?
CAPTAIN YATES: Everything important is isolated on the top floor. There's a special lift at the end of the block.
(YATES takes out a notebook and shows the DOCTOR a plan he has drawn.)
DOCTOR: Mmm hmm.
CAPTAIN YATES: It works with some sort of key but the Director's the only person who's got one.
(He tears the map out and passes it to the DOCTOR.)
DOCTOR: Well then, Captain Yates, this could prove absolutely vital.
CAPTAIN YATES: There's one other thing...
DOCTOR: Mmm hmm.
CAPTAIN YATES: The Director isn't the real boss. He takes his instructions from someone else.
DOCTOR: Oh, who?
CAPTAIN YATES: Whoever lives on the top floor.
(They hear a noise outside. YATES dives for his briefcase and the DOCTOR for his cleaning cloth as the door opens and STEVENS and the GUARD enter. His back to the three, the DOCTOR quickly starts polishing the filing cabinet.)
STEVENS: Ah, Mr. Yates, we were looking for you.
YATE'S GUARD: You said you had to get an attaché case?
CAPTAIN YATES: Yes, here it is.
(He holds the case up and smiles at STEVENS.)
CAPTAIN YATES: I'm ready now.
STEVENS: Good.
(STEVENS and YATES leave. The GUARD is the last out and throws a friendly question at the scrubbing DOCTOR.)
YATE'S GUARD: How's the old man, Doris?
(The DOCTOR looks momentarily alarmed but speaks in a wizened Welsh voice.)
DOCTOR: Oh, oh, he's ... lovely.
(The GUARD smiles and seems to accept the DOCTOR'S garbled reply and leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
50: INT. WHOLEWEAL COMMUNITY. LABORATORY
(CLIFF looks up from his microscope with a sigh of frustration. He glances down at the slides over which the brown powder was spilled. The powder seems to have absorbed the slime. He grabs at one and puts it under the microscope. He examines it and bangs the bench with his fist in joy.)
CLIFFORD JONES: That's it, of course! Jo, we can cure it!
(He looks round and sees that he is alone.)
CLIFFORD JONES: Jo?
(He notices the written note and reads it...)
CLIFFORD JONES: "Gone to get you a maggot." (Tuts.) Silly young fool - she'll get herself killed!
(He rushes out of the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
51: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CLEANER'S CUPBOARD
(The DOCTOR changes out of his cleaner's disguise and puts his own velvet jacket back on. He checks the note map and leaves the cupboard.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
52: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. CORRIDOR
(He makes his way down a corridor and spots the lift. He goes up to the door, checks that no one is nearby and takes his sonic screwdriver out of his pocket. He adjusts it and uses it to open the lift doors. The chamber beyond is patterned with studded walls. He enters and the doors close.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
53: EXT. EDGE OF THE SLAGHEAP
(The BRIGADIER walks with BENTON to the barriers at the edge of the slagheap.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Won't be long now, Benton.
SERGEANT BENTON: You mean reinforcements, sir?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, I've just been on to the RAF. They'll be flying a low level strike with H.E. grenades in...
(He checks his watch.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: ...in just seven minutes. In ten minutes time, they'll be nothing left alive in that whole area.
[SCENE_BREAK]
54: INT. GLOBAL CHEMICALS. COMPUTER ROOM
(The lift has reached its destination and the doors open. The DOCTOR steps out into a brightly-lit room which is filled with a mass of computer equipment - tape banks, consoles, monitors - all quietly humming and ticking away. The DOCTOR looks round in puzzlement. There is no one there. He walks round and stands on a small platform. Suddenly, the VOICE that emits from STEVENS' monitor booms across the room in a friendly, welcoming tone.)
BOSS'S VOICE: How kind of you to drop in, Doctor! I've been looking forward to having a little chat with you.
(The DOCTOR looks for the source of the VOICE in total bafflement.)
DOCTOR: Who are you? Where are you?
BOSS'S VOICE: You disappoint me, Doctor. I should have thought you'd have guessed.
(Behind the DOCTOR is a huge circular screen on which the oscilloscope twitches against a red background.)
BOSS'S VOICE: I am the BOSS. I'm all around you.
(The DOCTOR turns and looks at the red screen.)
BOSS'S VOICE: Exactly - I am the computer!
|
Plan: A: a full UNIT force; Q: What does the Brigadier call in to deal with the giant maggots? A: the Doctor; Q: Who infiltrates Global Chemicals? Summary: The Brigadier calls in a full UNIT force to deal with the giant maggots while the Doctor infiltrates Global Chemicals to find out what is really going on.
|
[Scene: Woods. Night. Three nymphs dance around a small fire while their Satyr plays a song on his pan flute. The nymphs giggle and frolic around their Satyr, then pass a creeper plant which suddenly blooms. Xavier, a demon, appears.]
Xavier: I guess my invitation must have got lost in the mail. (The nymphs gasp and stop dancing.) I told you I'd find you again, Satyr.
Satyr: There's nothing for you here. Leave this place or...
Xavier: Or you'll what? You're gonna play your flute?
(Xavier throws a stream of fire at the Satyr and he burns and disappears. The girls hold each other, frightened. Xavier walks over and picks up the pan flute.)
Miranda: Who are you? What do you want?
Xavier: I want you to show me the eternal spring, that's what. Unless, of course, you want to end up like your poor Satyr here.
Miranda: Only he can tell us when to reveal the spring.
Xavier: Now I'm telling you. Where is it? (The nymphs run away. Xavier throws a stream of fire at them but misses. They run into the trees and vanish.) I will find you!
[Scene: A hotel suite. A dinner party is finishing up and people are leaving. Phoebe grabs her purse.]
Woman: Congratulations again, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Thanks, sweetie, good night.
Woman: See ya.
(Phoebe rummages around in her purse.)
Phoebe: Where are you? Where are you, where are you?
(She walks over to the couch and sits down. She tips the stuff out of her purse onto the coffee table. Jason walks over to her.)
Jason: You lose something?
Phoebe: Oh, just my brain. And my keys.
Jason: Well, I've got some cabs waiting to take us home down stairs.
Phoebe: I need to find my keys so nobody has to wake up to let me in. Piper will kill me if I wake up the baby.
Jason: Well, why don't you stay here? I mean it, I got the place for the whole night, somebody ought to use it.
Phoebe: Oh, that's sweet, thanks, but I-I can't.
Jason: Sure you can. I insist. Columnist of the year. Come on, you deserve it. Sleep in, have breakfast, get a massage. It's on me. (Phoebe chuckles.) What?
Phoebe: Your just a really nice guy, you know that?
Jason: Yeah, that's just the champagne talking.
Phoebe: No, it's not. Okay, maybe it is a little. But, no, you are. Renting this suite, making sure everyone gets home okay, the speech you made.
Jason: Well, you guys deserve all the awards, not me. All I did was buy the paper.
Phoebe: I'm glad you did.
Jason: Me too.
Woman: Good night, boss.
Jason: Good night. (The last people leave. Jason stands up.) Well, I, uh, I better get going.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Jason: Good night.
Phoebe: Good night. (He kisses her quickly on the side of her mouth. They look at each other and start kissing passionately.) I'm not sure we should be doing this.
Jason: Yeah, me neither.
(Jason falls on the couch and Phoebe falls on top of him.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Manor. Kitchen. Piper is there cooking something. Paige walks in.]
Paige: Ehh! Gosh, what's that smell? I hope it's not breakfast.
Piper: I'm making an herbal sleep remedy.
Paige: Oh, remind me never to get insomnia. (Wyatt giggles and gurgles through the baby monitor. Paige picks the monitor up.) Cute!
Piper: Cute is a sleeping baby. That baby woke up every fifteen minutes last night and if I don't make something to help him sleep, you are gonna have one cranky mum on your hands.
Paige: Going to have?
Piper: Now, where is the dried dill? I can't find anything around here.
Paige: Oh, it's in that middle cupboard, bottom right. (Piper points to a cupboard. Paige nods.) See, I switched things around. I wanted to separate the herbs that we use for potions from the ones that we use for cooking.
Piper: But we use dill for both.
(Piper opens the cupboard.)
Paige: Well, that's why I put it there with the herbs and spices that we use for cooking and magic. It's a whole new system, see. (Piper picks up the dill.) Voila, you have your dill.
Piper: Okay, but, uh, what was wrong with the old system? I mean, it worked perfectly well for about five years.
Paige: Nothing was wrong with it, honey, it just didn't work for me. You know, your mind is just a little more linear, that's all.
Piper: Well, you know, I know with Wyatt and everything lately that you've had to, you know, take on more responsibility for all things wiccan lately, but, um... (Piper looks around) you know, you don't need to shoulder the burden all by yourself anymore.
(Paige opens a drawer.)
Paige: Sweetheart, it's not burden. (Paige pulls out some measuring cups.) That's why I quit my job after all.
(She hands the measuring cups to Piper.)
Piper: Yeah, but still, I mean, it's not fair to you. Now that I have Leo being Mr. Mum, I've got a little bit more time on my hands.
Paige: Oh, well, I don't mind taking the lead.
(Phoebe walks in through the back door, carrying her shoes, her purse and her award.)
Phoebe: Morning. Never mind, don't ask.
(Phoebe leaves the kitchen. Piper and Paige follow her.)
[Cut to the bottom of the stairs. Phoebe heads for them. Piper and Paige walk in.]
Piper: Hey, somebody's doing the walk of shame.
Paige: Details, details.
Phoebe: I knew I wasn't going to get away with this one.
Phoebe: Not a chance. Spill it, sister.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay. I think I did something really bad. I slept with my boss.
Piper: Jason?
Phoebe: No, Elise. Yes, of course Jason!
Paige: Wow. That is bad. (Phoebe gives her a look.) Uh, for future employment's sake. Unless, of course, you know, maybe it'll work out and you guys will get married and have kids and you can own half the newspaper.
Phoebe: Paige.
Paige: Sorry.
Piper: How did this happen?
Phoebe: It was very fast.
Paige: Ooh, downer.
Phoebe: No, that part wasn't fast, that part was... ooh...
(She makes noises and smiles.)
Piper: So that's good, right?
Phoebe: Yes... No. I don't know. See, I'm very conflicted about this whole thing because it's not just the fact that he's my boss, it's just I didn't plan on this all happening right now in my life.
Piper: Well, honey, unfortunately, that's when these things usually happen.
Paige: Yeah. Can we go back to the whole (makes a noise) part? (Leo orbs in.) Talk about orbus interruptus.
Leo: Sorry, guys, but I just got an alert from the Elders. What do you know about wood nymphs?
Piper: Wood nymphs?
Paige: Yeah, you know, frolicking little tree sprites, protectors of the forest, always in the company of a satyr.
Piper: Yeah, I know what they are, it was a rhetorical question.
Phoebe: What about 'em?
Leo: Well, I guess a couple have been spotted in the city by mortals and the Elders were worried about exposure.
Piper: Well, that doesn't make any sense because they don't abandon their forest unless...
Paige: They're flushed out...
Piper: By a demon.
Piper, Paige: I'll get right on it.
Paige: You're tired, honey.
Piper: I am. I'll also be in the attic.
(Piper throws a baby bottle to Leo and heads upstairs.)
Phoebe: Paige, will you orb to the office and grab my laptop? I have to finish this article and I don't wanna see Jason.
Paige: I'm sorry, I really can't. (Paige orbs out.) (from attic) Ask Piper!
Piper: Hey, that's cheating!
(She runs up the stairs.)
[Scene: City Plaza. A man is sitting on the floor playing his flute. The three nymphs dance around him. A crowd of people have gathered around them.]
Daisy: Why is he still playing this melody?
Miranda: Maybe he doesn't recognise us.
Lily: He must be our new Satyr. Look how many people have gathered to adore him.
(The nymphs giggle.)
Daisy: He's not playing the melody.
(Xavier approaches the crowd and watches the nymphs. The police officers make their way through the crowd.)
Officer #1: Excuse me, pardon me. Alright, girls, you've had your fun, let's go. (The crowd groans.) I know, I know.
Daisy: What should we do?
Miranda: Uh, flee.
(The nymphs run away.)
Officer #1: Hey, hey!
(The girls run into a near by garden and vanish. Xavier looks into the garden.)
[Cut to the woods. Day. Xavier's brother, Tull, is there trying to play the pan flute. Xavier appears.]
Xavier: What are you doing?
Tull: I'm practising. In case you can't find the nymphs, I thought maybe I could try and lure them to us.
Xavier: How many times have I told you, Tull, only a Satyr can master that thing. I don't know why you keep trying.
Tull: Well, because father...
Xavier: (yells) Father's dead, don't you understand? And we're never gonna get our revenge unless we find that damn spring and become unstoppable.
Tull: I'm just trying to help you find them, Xavier.
Xavier: I already did. They escaped into the city just like I thought they would. But they're out of their element. Lost without nature, confused.
Tull: So how do you know where they are?
Xavier: They found an oasis in the middle of it all. A fountain. One which they'll return to tonight when the moon is full.
Tull: To rejoice in it. Oh, Xavier, can I come? Please, can I join you?
Xavier: No. You aren't strong enough to help. But don't worry, you will be, once you drink from the spring. Until then, keep practicing.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Main room. Phoebe sneaks in through the main door. She looks around and walks towards her office. Jason comes out of his office.]
Jason: Phoebe.
Phoebe: (whispers) Shoot. (She turns around.) Hey.
Jason: I didn't even see you come in.
Phoebe: I just came by to get my laptop, I'm gonna work from home. Okay, bye.
(She turns to leave.)
Jason: Wait, there's a staff meeting. You have to stay for that.
Phoebe: Ah, that's right, I totally forgot.
(Jason moves closer to her and lowers his voice.)
Jason: Uh, listen, about last night...
Phoebe: It was a huge mistake, I agree, it should have never happened.
Jason: Actually, that was not was I was going to say.
Phoebe: No?
Jason: I thought it was a amazing. I think you are amazing.
Phoebe: Really? See, but that's not the point. The point is you're my boss and I don't want my professional and personal life to collide.
Jason: Isn't it a little late for that?
Phoebe: No. We can stop this right here and now before it gets any worse.
Jason: Before what gets any worse? Phoebe, we have nothing to be ashamed of. We're two intelligent adults that happen to be attracted to each other. What's so wrong with that?
Reporter: Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Dean, but it looks like those Godiva girls popped back again.
(They look at the TV and see the nymphs on the news.)
Phoebe: Oh, no.
(Phoebe grimaces and slowly backs away.)
Jason: Anybody know who they are?
Reporter: Not yet but everybody wants to know.
Jason: Then let's be the first to find out. (Phoebe leaves without being noticed.) Pull Bill and Jean from Metro, get Francesca online. I don't wanna trail this story, I wanna lead it.
Reporter: Understood.
(Jason turns around to find Phoebe gone.)
Jason: Phoebe?
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Paige are there. Piper is scrying and Paige is writing something on a piece of paper.]
Piper: What exactly are you doing over there? Writing a dissertation?
Paige: No. Actually, since wood nymphs are considered the personification of nature, I am devising a spell using the four elements to try to locate their home.
Piper: Well, what good would that do? The Elders said the nymphs were running loose in the city.
Paige: Yeah, but I'm thinking that if we find out where they lived, you know, we can find out what flushed them out and see what demon's after them.
(The crystal points to a spot on the map. Piper has already marked five other places on the map.)
Piper: Wow, talk about your roundabout methods.
Paige: No, actually, it's like that cliché thinking outside the box. It kind of applies here.
Piper: Well, me, I'm just gonna stick to good old-fashioned scrying to find him.
Paige: Oh! How's that working out for you?
(Piper puts down the crystal.)
Piper: Let's just say it's been a busy day for evil in the city. I wonder if nymphs have any natural enemies? (Piper walks over to the Book of Shadows and notices different colour tabs sticking out of the book.) What are all these?
Paige: Oh, I indexed the Book of Shadows to make our searches more efficient.
Piper: You colour coded the Book of Shadows?
Paige: Mm-hm!
Piper: When?
Paige: Yesterday. Now you see, demons and warlocks will be under red, angels and beings of light under white, and, you know, wood nymphs because they're spirits of nature, will be under green because green represents...
Piper: I know what green represents.
Paige: Great. Then you'll just love it.
Piper: I don't think so.
(Wyatt cries from downstairs.)
Paige: Oh, isn't that Wyatt calling you?
Piper: Nice try. Leo's got him. You're not going to get rid of me that easy.
Paige: I am not trying to get rid of you, alright? I'm just trying to take point because your life is so busy now that I thought I would just try to help a little bit.
Piper: I got your busy right here, lady. (The phone rings. Piper answers it.) Hello?
Phoebe: Hey, it's me, I'm stuck at work. I forgot their was a staff meeting. Have you seen the news yet?
Piper: No, we're too busy fighting over the best way to find nymphs.
Phoebe: Okay, well, stop arguing and turn on the TV because they're all over it.
Piper: What? What do you mean?
Paige: What's she saying?
Phoebe: Nobody knows who they are yet, but believe me, the demon's not the only one looking for him now.
Piper: Where were they last spotted?
Phoebe: Uh, downtown, City Plaza. Maybe they'll go back there.
Piper: Well, if they do, there's gonna be a demon waiting for them.
(Piper looks at a place on the map where she's marked.)
[Scene: City Plaza. Fountain. Night. Piper and Paige are there hiding behind two columns.]
Paige: Okay, how much longer before you realise this is not working?
Piper: Hey, Phoebe was the one who said they were here, not me.
Paige: No, excuse me. You were the one that said a demon was here waiting, I was the one that said they'd be stupid to come back.
Piper: And you think they're not? Half of San Francisco has spotted them.
(The three nymphs appear in the fountain, giggling and splashing around in the water.)
Paige: Well, at least it looks like they're having fun. (Piper starts to move forward.) Hold it. Shouldn't we see if the demon attacks?
(Xavier appears near by.)
Xavier: Ladies.
(He throws a stream of fire at Lily, engulfing her in flames and she disappears.)
Piper: Wait's over.
(Piper and Paige come out from behind the columns. The two nymphs hold each other, frightened.)
Xavier: Last chance. Where's the spring?
(The nymphs see Piper and Paige walking towards them.)
Miranda: Oh, please, please, help us.
(Xavier turns around and Piper tries to blow him up. She blows his right arm below the elbow off. He groans in pain and falls to the ground.)
Paige: Why didn't he blow up?
Piper: Uh, let's get out of here.
(The two nymphs run over to Piper and Paige.)
Paige: First thing we've agreed on all day.
(Xavier throws a stream of fire towards them but they orb out just in time.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Conservatory. Daisy runs for the back door. Piper grabs her around the waste.]
Piper: No, no, no! No, no, no!
Daisy: But we need to be outside to find our new Satyr.
Piper: No, no, you don't. Not when there's a demon out there, you don't. Paige, a little help, please.
(Miranda opens the conservatory double doors. Paige orbs out and orbs back in in front of her.)
Paige: Sorry Miss Nymph, you're stuck here.
(Paige closes the doors.)
Miranda: But, but, but you're suffocating us. But we're meant to be outdoors.
Daisy: We were born to be wild.
Piper: I hear what you're saying.
Miranda: Nature's apart of us. (She waves her arm and a vine appears on the door.) We're meant to preserve it, to nurture it.
Paige: Well, that's really great, honey, but our job is to preserve you, okay?
Piper: Alright, inside, inside, inside.
(Piper pulls Daisy inside.)
Daisy: Whoa!
(Leo walks in.)
Leo: What's going on down here? Who are they?
Piper: Nymphs, Leo, clearly nymphs.
(The two nymphs giggle and dance around Leo.)
Leo: Oh, hi there. Uh, no wonder the Elders were worried about exposure.
Daisy: Who's the sexy beast?
Piper: The beast is married. To me. Now, I don't mean to rain on anybody's parade, but didn't you two just lose a sister? Shouldn't you be, I don't know, grieving?
Daisy: Oh, we don't mourn death, we celebrate it.
Miranda: It's the way of nature. The eternal spring we protect ensures that life is always renewed in the forest.
Paige: So she'll be reborn or something?
Miranda: If not in the plants and trees, then in the wind and rain that brings them sustenance.
Daisy: Isn't that awesome?
Miranda: Still, without her, we may not find our new Satyr. We need three to perform the dance or we may not hear his call.
Piper: I'm a little confused. See if you guys protect the spring, what do you need a Satyr for?
(The nymphs giggle.)
Daisy: Oh, because that's the way it's always been.
Piper: Oh, okay.
Paige: So do you know who the demon is?
Miranda: No, only that he wanted us to bring him to the eternal spring to-to drink from it we assume.
Leo: Which would make him immortal, indestructible.
Piper: We need Phoebe.
Phoebe's Voice: Hello? Anybody home?
Piper: Ask and you shall receive. (to Leo) Try and keep and eye on them. (The nymphs giggle and run around the room. Piper and Paige walk into the foyer where Phoebe is. Phoebe is carrying a vase of flowers.) Hiya, where you been?
Phoebe: Avoiding Jason. (Phoebe hands Piper the vase.) Apparently it didn't work.
(Phoebe picks up a vase of flowers off a table and moves them to a side table. Piper puts the other vase in its place.)
Paige: Yeah, uh, well, we found something.
(They hear the nymphs giggle. They look into the conservatory and see them all over Leo.)
Phoebe: I thought there was three of them?
Piper: Yeah, the demon got one.
Paige: Yeah, but on the plus side, you got some really pretty flowers.
Phoebe: Yeah, see, I don't wanna talk about that. Tell me about the demon.
Paige: Well, Piper, let him get away.
Piper: Oh, come on, I blew off his hand, didn't I?
Paige: Yeah, but the rest of him got away.
Piper: Yeah, well, okay, demons don't always go poof when you want them to, you know?
Phoebe: What the hell is going with the two of you?
Piper: It seems that Paige thinks she's the lead witch all of a sudden, that's what's going on.
Phoebe: Ohh.
Paige: I don't think I'm lead witch, I've just had to be for the last few months. It's all I do.
Piper: Maybe while I was maternity leave. But you know, it's like sports, you can't lose your starting job due to injury.
Paige: Vanquishing demons is not a sport, Piper.
Piper: It is if you're good at it.
(Leo brings the two nymphs into the foyer.)
Leo: Alright.
Piper: Where are you going?
Leo: Wyatt's crying. They are all yours.
Daisy: We need to frolic. We need to find our Satyr.
Paige: Okay, I would like to frolic too but I actually have work to do.
Miranda: Are you always this tense?
(The nymphs circle the girls.)
Piper: Uh, look, we need to find this demon before this demon finds them. Alright, I'm gonna go check the book.
Paige: I'll go.
Miranda: Wait, let your sister go.
Piper: Ha-ha, thanks.
Paige: Why?
Miranda: You'll see.
Phoebe: Something wrong?
(Daisy waves her hands above the flowers and they instantly bloom.)
Daisy: Not anymore.
(They giggle.)
[Scene: Woods. Night. Xavier and Tull are there. Xavier is lying on the ground while Tull cleans his wound.]
Tull: I will have your revenge, Xavier, I swear it, they will not get away with this.
Xavier: It's not the nymphs you have to worry about, it's the witches. You're not strong enough to stand up to them.
Tull: But I will be once I drink from the spring. Then I'll use the immortal water to heal you.
Xavier: Always a dreamer. You'll never trick them into thinking you're their new Satyr.
Tull: No? Watch me, brother, watch me.
[Cut to the manor. Attic. Piper is there flipping through the Book of Shadows.]
Piper: Demons and warlocks are red, beings of light are white. Oh, yeah? Well, what's a Bunyip? Because it's not good or evil. So what the hell colour is that? (She turns to the Bunyip page and it has a red and a white tab on it.) Oh, well, that's confusing.
(Leo walks in.)
Leo: Everything alright?
Piper: Yeah, sure, fine, if you call Paige defacing the Book of Shadows, alright.
(Leo walks over to her.)
Leo: She defaced the book?
Piper: For all intents and purposes. Look at this. This is a sacred book. It looks ridiculous.
Leo: Well, look, these things just come right off, see?
(He peels a tab off.)
Piper: That is so not the point.
Leo: It's not?
Piper: No. She's done this a lot lately and it's not just this. The kitchen, the least she could do is discuss it with us before hand.
Leo: You're right, she should've discussed it with you. But that's not what's making you angry. What are you really feeling?
(They walk over to a couch and sit down.)
Piper: Okay, you know what? Just because we've gone to counselling, doesn't mean that you're a shrink now.
Leo: I'm just saying that this whole competitive thing you got going...
Piper: I'm not competitive, she is.
Leo: You both are. And you both need to stop otherwise you're never gonna help the nymphs reclaim their forest.
Piper: I know, I know. I just can't help but feel like I'm being pushed aside.
Leo: She's not pushing you aside, she's just picking up the slack.
Piper: Okay, just so you know for future reference, you're supposed to be on my side in these situations. It keeps us out of counselling.
Leo: I am on your side, honey, always. I-I'm just saying that maybe you should look at this like an opportunity. Now this is me talking, this isn't a shrink. You're always complaining about how you're not able to have a normal life because of witchcraft and maybe letting Paige take the lead once in a while will allow you to have that.
Piper: That's some good reverse psychology there. I'll think about it.
Leo: Okay.
(He quickly kisses her on her head and leaves the attic.)
[Cut to the kitchen. Phoebe and Paige are there. Paige is bottling a potion. The two nymphs are near by giggling and arranging a vase of flowers.]
Phoebe: So how do you know the potion's gonna work? Shouldn't we wait for Piper to find the demon first?
Paige: She won't. That's why I went ahead and made this garden variety kick ass vanquishing potion.
Phoebe: You guys have to stop butting heads. We work best when we work together.
Paige: Well, tell her that, don't tell me that.
Daisy: (to Miranda) Are you sure she's the one?
Miranda: She needs us as much as we need her.
(Phoebe turns around to the nymphs and looks at the vase of beautifully arranged flowers.)
Phoebe: Wow, that looks beautiful. You guys should be florists.
Daisy: We are. That's what we do, in the woods I mean.
Phoebe: Right, of course, sorry.
Miranda: That's alright. Most people don't even know we exist. They take us for granted, they take the forest for granted, as if it will always be there.
Phoebe: That's why we have to help you.
Miranda: Helping us helps you. After all, all of nature is intertwined, forests, flowers...
Miranda, Daisy: Love.
Miranda: It's in the air.
Paige: Ha, not where I'm standing it isn't.
(The doorbell rings.)
Phoebe: I'll get it.
Miranda: Good. (The nymphs giggle and dance over to Paige.) You know, Paige, we think that you need to get back to your...
Miranda, Daisy: Wild side!
Paige: Girls, you might just have a point.
Daisy: You're right, she is the one.
(They giggle and dance around her.)
Paige: The one for what?
(They stand on either side of Paige and kiss her cheeks. She instantly changes into a nymph, with really long hair and wearing a green dress.)
Miranda: The one to help us find our new Satyr.
[Cut to the foyer. Phoebe opens the front door. Jason stands there.]
Jason: Hi.
Phoebe: Jason! Hey, what are you doing here?
Jason: We never got to finish our talk.
Phoebe: Yeah, uh, now's not really a good time though. I'll call ya.
(Jason walks into the foyer.)
Jason: Did you get the flowers I sent you?
Phoebe: I did, I did, they were beautiful, that was very sweet.
Jason: Look, I know this is awkward for you because of work and all that, I-I think we can work this thing out.
Phoebe: It's a lot more complicated than that. Believe me.
Jason: Phoebe, we have to talk.
Phoebe: I know, and we will soon, I promise.
Jason: Phoebe, what's wrong? Is there something going on here that you're not telling me about?
Phoebe: No, of course not.
(They hear the nymphs giggling from the kitchen.)
Jason: What was that?
Phoebe: Uh, what was what?
(More giggling.)
Jason: What was that!
Phoebe: Oh, that? (The nymphs including nymph Paige frolics into the room and dances around Jason.) Oh my god, Paige!
(They stroke Jason's arms and shoulders.)
Paige: So handsome.
Jason: You found them? Isn't that your sister?
(The three nymphs go outside.)
Phoebe: Yeah. Paige!
Jason: She's one of the Godiva girls?
Phoebe: Uh, no, she is not. (Phoebe goes to the door.) Paige, you get back here right now!
Jason: What's going on here?
Phoebe: Ohh, I don't suppose you can just forget about everything you just saw, right?
Jason: Personally or professionally?
Phoebe: Both?
Jason: Phoebe...
Phoebe: Okay, look just promise me you won't do anything until we talk, okay? For me.
Jason: Talk? Talk when?
Phoebe: We're gonna talk later. (She pulls him out the door.) Okay, thanks for the flowers. I like your jacket. Okay, bye. (She closes the door.) Piper! Leo!
[Cut to P3. The band, Louder Milk, is playing on stage. Nymph Paige and the other two nymphs walk down the stairs.]
Miranda: Uh, we really need to be out looking for our new Satyr, Paige.
Paige: I thought all we had to do was dance to hear his call.
Daisy: But it's her first night as a nymph, Miranda. Let's see what she can do.
Miranda: Alright, why not?
Paige: Follow me, girls.
[Cut to the manor. Kitchen. Piper, Phoebe and Leo are there. Piper and Phoebe are looking through the Book of Shadows. Leo is trying to sense Paige.]
Leo: I can't sense her. Probably because she's not a witch anymore.
Piper: Mm-hm. No, of course not, because thanks to me she is now a nymph.
Leo: Thanks to you? What did you do?
Piper: I had to be the one in control. I had to be the one to find the stupid demon, which by the way, I have not done yet.
(Piper slams the book shut.)
Phoebe: Well, thanks to me my paper is gonna get an exclusive on her because I slept with Jason.
Piper: Oh, good, so this is all your fault then?
Phoebe: Mm.
Piper: Perfect.
Leo: Let's forget about who's fault this is, okay? Either way we need to figure out a way to find Paige before the demon does.
Piper: Well, it's not gonna do any good unless we come up with a vanquishing potion.
Phoebe: Uh, Paige already did that.
Piper: She did?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Piper: Huh.
(The phone rings. Leo answers it.)
Leo: Hello? (listens) Oh. Oh. (He hangs up.) I think we found Paige.
[Cut to P3. Paige and the nymphs are up on stage dancing with the band. Piper and Leo walk in.]
Piper: I don't see her.
(Leo looks up on stage.)
Leo: You don't want to.
Piper: Oh, that cat's out of the bag.
Leo: Come on. (They walk over to the stage.) Paige, what are you doing?
Paige: I'm dancing, Leo. Do you want to come dance with me?
Piper: No, Paige, come down here. Before somebody recognises it's you.
Guy From Audience: Alright, Paige, looking good!
Piper: Ah, so much for that.
Leo: Come on, Paige, we're getting outta here.
Paige: I can't. I can't leave until I find my Satyr.
Leo: You Satyr? Get... (Leo grabs her hand and pulls her off stage.) Talk to her.
Piper: Paige, honey, listen, we need you. We can't save your fellow nymphs without you.
Paige: You don't need me.
Piper: The hell I don't. Paige, listen to me. You are not a nymph, you are a witch and a damn good one at that. That is your true nature.
(The band manager walks up to them.)
Band Manager: Hey, Piper. You've gotta get those groupies off the stage, they're distracting my band.
Piper: I know, I know, I'm working on it.
(They notice Paige and the nymphs heading for the door.)
Leo: Piper.
Piper: Paige, wait!
Paige: Where are we going?
Daisy: To our new Satyr. Do you hear his call?
[Cut to the fountain. Tull is there playing the pan flute. The nymphs frolic out of the near by plants and dance around him.]
Tull: Welcome, my little nymphs. Welcome.
(He continues to play the pan flute and they dance around him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper, Phoebe and Leo are there. Piper and Phoebe are sitting on the couch with open books all over the floor in front of them.]
Phoebe: I don't know how the hell to find her.
Piper: Well, maybe if we knew why they decided to turn her into a nymph in the first place, that would help.
Phoebe: That's because they needed a third sister, right?
Piper: Yeah, well, the book also says that only certain types of magical creatures can be turned into a nymph, so what type was she?
Leo: The type that needed a change maybe.
Phoebe: From being a witch? That's ridiculous. Paige loves being a witch.
Piper: Not until I came roaring back. And I didn't just push her aside, I actually pushed Paige right out the door.
Phoebe: Oh, are we back to blaming you again?
Piper: Yeah.
Phoebe: Just checking.
Leo: Maybe the nymphs sensed that she was overdue for some fun. She has been working around the clock lately.
Piper: Well, she had plenty of fun at P3 last night.
Phoebe: Ooh, film at eleven.
(They hear Wyatt crying through the baby monitor.)
Leo: I'll take care of it, you guys stay on it.
Piper: Okay, what haven't we tried?
Phoebe: I think we've pretty much tried everything.
Piper: Right, well, then it's time we start thinking outside the box.
Phoebe: Come again?
Piper: It was Paige's theory and it worked pretty damn well for her. (They get up and walk over to a table.) Paige was working on a spell to locate the nymphs using the four elements of nature.
Phoebe: Wow, that's a novel concept.
Piper: Yeah, well, I mocked it. But if she's right, it should lead us to where the nymphs live and therefore Paige.
Phoebe: Here's water and fire.
(She picks up a water bottle and some matches. Piper picks up a fan.)
Piper: A little bit of wind.
Phoebe: Okay, so all we're missing is earth.
(Phoebe's phone rings.)
Piper: I'll go get some dirt from the backyard.
(Phoebe answers her phone.)
Phoebe: Hi. Hello?
Jason: Hey, it's Jason.
Phoebe: Hey, I can't really talk right now.
Jason: It's not about us, Phoebe, it's about your sister.
Phoebe: What about her?
Jason: I'm not the only one who saw her. There was a photographer at your sister's club last night because of the band. I've got pictures.
Phoebe: And what are you gonna do with the pictures?
Jason: Well, if I don't print them, I'll be the only paper in town that doesn't.
Phoebe: You know what? Just print them.
Jason: Phoebe...
Phoebe: You know, f hadn't slept together you never would have known that she was one of them.
Jason: If we hadn't slept together I wouldn't have hesitated to print them. Phoebe, will you please tell me what's going on here?
Phoebe: No comment.
(She hangs up.)
[Scene: Woods. The two nymphs giggle behind Tull as they walk through the woods. Paige is following behind them. The two nymphs place a wreath on Tull's head.]
Tull: No, no, I don't want any wreath. (The try to feed him some berries.) No, no berries. I just want the spring.
Miranda: (to Paige) What's the matter? Why aren't you dancing?
Paige: Something doesn't feel right.
Tull: Is this much farther?
Daisy: We're almost there.
Tull: Good.
Paige: How did you know we needed a new Satyr?
Tull: You called me with your little dance, didn't you?
Daisy: Oh, forgive her, she's new.
Tull: Well, then she should be silent, shouldn't she?
Paige: Shouldn't we be worried about the demon that killed the last Satyr?
Tull: I'll take care of him.
Paige: How?
Tull: Enough with your questions, nymph.
(The nymphs stop and stand beside Paige.)
Miranda: It's not our place to question him, we only wish to please.
Paige: But you don't know him.
Miranda: We protect and nourish the forest while caring for our Satyr, that's all we need to know.
Daisy: It's in our nature.
Paige: It's in your nature.
Miranda: It's in our nature. You're one of us now.
Daisy: We're here.
Tull: Where? Where is it? Show it to me.
(They run over to a large rock and place their hands on it. It glows and the place around them spins into a blur. The blur settles and reveals a beautiful garden and spring.)
Paige: It's so beautiful.
(Tull walks over to the spring and laughs.)
[Cut to the woods. Xavier is there. Piper and Phoebe appear. Piper clears her throat.]
Xavier: You?
Piper: Hi. No offence but we were looking for some wood nymphs.
Phoebe: Wait, you two know each other?
Piper: Yeah, I was the one that blew off his arm. Wow, that looks like it hurts.
Xavier: It does.
Phoebe: You sure we even need this?
Piper: Well, that depends on how many parts I gotta blow off before he tells us where the nymphs are.
Xavier: You're too late. My brother's found them already.
Phoebe: Oh, your brother? Where is he?
Piper: You know, we can just keep doing this but he is never going to talk. And then he's just gonna try and fry us, we're gonna have to dive out of the way, get all dirty and we're just gonna end up vanquishing him anyway.
Phoebe: So should we just cut to the chase?
Piper: I don't see why not.
(Phoebe is about to throw the potion.)
Xavier: No, wait. I'll tell you.
(He throws a stream of fire at the girls and they dive out of the way. Phoebe throws the potion at Xavier and vanquishes him.)
Piper: Told you.
Phoebe: Oh, man. Now how are we gonna find Paige?
(They get up.)
Piper: Well, we can just sit and wait for his brother to come back.
Phoebe: Oh.
(They sit on a log.)
[Cut to the garden and spring. Tull drink from the spring.]
Paige: I thought no one was supposed to drink from the spring?
Miranda: They're not.
(Tull glows.)
Tull: At last.
Daisy: Satyr? We should leave now.
Tull: Your Satyr is dead, nymph. My name is Tull, brother of Xavier. Son of Naides. And I will have our revenge. (The nymphs hold each other, frightened.) That's right, nymphs, be afraid, there are no witches here now to protect you.
Paige: Oh, no? (Nymph Paige changes back into herself.) Hurry, close the spring.
Tull: No! (He hits Paige across the face and she flies across the garden, landing on a rock. The nymphs run over to the rock and Tull runs over to the spring to fill up a water skin. The garden and spring spin around them in a blur and takes them back to the woods. The nymphs run into the trees and vanish.) No! No!
(He looks at an unconscious Paige and then disappears.)
[Cut to the woods where Piper and Phoebe are waiting. Tull appears.]
Tull: Xavier. Xavier, where are you?
Phoebe: You're stepping on him.
Tull: What? (Tull looks down to see him standing on a pile of ash.) No. No.
(Piper and Phoebe stand up.)
Piper: Now, you should tell us where our sister is unless of course you want to join your brother. (Tull throws a stream of fire at the girls. Piper blows up the stream of fire and the force sends Piper, Phoebe and Tull backwards.) Throw it! (Phoebe throws the potion at Tull and makes a small explosion but doesn't harm him.) Paige, calls that a potion?
(Tull throws another stream of fire.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: The woods. Tull's stream of fire hits a pile of rocks. Piper and Phoebe crawl away.]
Phoebe: If we kill him then how are we gonna find Paige?
Piper: What have you witnessed in the last few minutes that leads you to believe we're gonna kill him?
Phoebe: Just try it.
Piper: Hang on.
(Piper stands up and tries to blow up Tull but only makes a small explosion.)
Tull: Your powers have no affect on me. I'm immortal now.
Piper: Arrogant. (She tries again twice to blow him up. Tull throws a stream of fire at Piper and she dives behind a rock.) Okay, run. (Piper and Phoebe run through the woods.) Paige!
Phoebe: Oh, god, what if she's...
Piper: Don't go there. Paige!
Phoebe: You know, maybe we shouldn't be calling for her, maybe we should be...
Piper: Ah, yes! Daisy! Miranda!
Phoebe: Don't be afraid! Don't be afraid! You don't need a Satyr to tell you what to do anymore.
Piper: Come on!
Phoebe: We need you! And helping us helps you, remember?
(Daisy and Miranda appears out of the bushes and grabs their hands.)
Miranda: Come with us.
Phoebe: Oh! Here we go. (They run off. They find Paige lying on the the ground, unconscious.) Paige!
Piper: She's bleeding.
Phoebe: We have to call for Leo.
(Miranda takes off her necklace.)
Miranda: Here, I think this will help.
(She holds the necklace above Paige's head wound and a drop of water drips onto it, healing it.)
Phoebe: What is that?
Daisy: Water from the eternal spring. Wood nymphs wear a drop to remind us of what we protect.
(Paige wakes up.)
Piper: Are you alright?
Paige: Yeah, I'll be alright if you tell me you got that b*st*rd.
Tull: (roars) Nooo!
(Paige stands up.)
Paige: Oh, I guess you didn't.
(They see Tull coming down a hill.)
Daisy: He drank from the spring.
Piper: Yeah, we noticed.
Phoebe: You think you can orb us outta here?
Paige: Uh, no, but maybe we don't have to. If we can't vanquish him, maybe we can turn him into something else that's also immortal... like a tree.
Miranda: Yes, even when they die they're reborn into new life and new growth.
Tull: Vengeance will be mine!
Phoebe: Piper, do you have any idea what they're talking about?
Piper: I think so.
Phoebe: Good.
Tull: I will avenge my brother Xavier!
Paige: Uh, "Changing seasons changes all, life renews as creation calls."
Piper: "Nothing is immune, everything transmutes, so take this demon and give him roots."
(Tull slowly turns into a large tree. He roars in pain.)
Phoebe: Ouch, that had to hurt.
Paige: Nice job, sis.
Piper: You're not so bad yourself.
Phoebe: You know, you two make a great one-two punch.
Paige: Yeah, well, who's number one?
Piper: Ah, we'll talk about that later. (to nymphs) Ah, thank you for your help.
Phoebe: Told you you didn't need a Satyr.
Miranda: Oh, we don't know. We can't imagine protecting the forest without him.
Daisy: It's never been any other way.
Paige: Changes are good... for all of us.
[Scene: Manor. Nursery. Piper and Leo are there watching Wyatt in his crib.]
Piper: He's so innocent. If only he had any idea what mummy and Aunty Paige did today.
Leo: They turned a very bad man into a very big tree.
Piper: Shh. (They turn off the light and walk into the bedroom.) He's gonna have enough problems growing up around me as it is.
Leo: Are you kidding me? He is lucky to have you.
Piper: Yeah, well, lucky or not, he's got me. I so missed not being around him today.
(Paige knocks on the door and walks in.)
Paige: Hello?
Piper: Shh!
Paige: Sorry. You guys, I just wanted to let you know that I'm, um, going out.
Piper: Ah, trolling for Satyrs, are we?
Paige: No, not trolling. I'm just gonna go out with one of the guys from the band.
Leo: Oh, really? Don't you think he's gonna be expecting the wild child?
Paige: Never know. I just might have to give him a little something, something.
Piper: Paige and I have decided to share the responsibilities of head witch so that I can spend more time with Wyatt and she can...
Paige: Rock on. (Paige holds up her hand with her thumb and middle finger down. Leo chuckles.) Good night, you guys.
Leo: Right, rock on! (He tries to copy the hand sign.) Rock on.
Piper: Don't do that. Give it up, man.
Leo: What?
Piper: Give it up.
Leo: I'll show you give it up. (Leo picks up Piper and spins her around. Piper laughs.) You give it up is what I'm saying right now.
(He carries her over to the bed and they fall onto it.)
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Jason's Office. Jason is there. Phoebe walks in and looks at a droopy plant near the doorway.]
Phoebe: Your plant could use some water.
Jason: I'll get right on that.
Phoebe: I saw tomorrow's advance copy. I noticed that you're running the article.
Jason: Yes, I am.
Phoebe: And I also noticed that Paige's name wasn't in it.
Jason: No, it isn't.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Jason: You know, it's ironic. (He stands up and walks around his desk.) You were the one who was worried about sleeping with the boss. How it might affect your job. Turns out it affected mine.
Phoebe: How so?
Jason: I didn't buy this paper to bury stories like this one, Phoebe, but that's basically what I just did. I don't know what your sister's involved in but the truth is I-I, I care about you too much to cause you any hurt.
(Phoebe moves closer to him.)
Phoebe: That's not very professional of you.
Jason: I know.
Phoebe: Maybe you should fire you.
Jason: Maybe. (They kiss.) I am still a little curious about what you know of these Godiva girls, though. (She kisses him again.) Where they come from. (She kisses him again.) What happened to them. (She kisses him again.) You're not gonna tell me are you? (She kisses him again.) I didn't think so.
(She puts her arms around him and they kiss. The pot plant near the door suddenly blooms.)
|
Plan: A: A pair; Q: How many demons are seeking revenge? A: wood nymphs; Q: What are the nymphs? A: their Satyr; Q: What did the demons kill? A: their revenge; Q: What do the demons seek? A: their new leader; Q: What does one demon trick the nymphs into thinking he is? A: Paige; Q: Who do the nymphs turn into one of them? A: Piper and Phoebe; Q: Who tries to save the nymphs? Summary: A pair of demons seek revenge on trio of wood nymphs, and as a result, kill their Satyr. Unable to agree on how to proceed with their revenge, one demon tricks the nymphs into thinking he is their new leader, and the other kills one of the nymphs. As the remaining nymphs flee, they decide Paige will be a suitable replacement and turn her into one of them, resulting in Piper and Phoebe trying to find a way to save the nymphs and turn Paige back to normal.
|
Dutch Phrases by: Kenny Walgraef
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is sitting in the living room as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hey.
Chandler: Hey.
(Monica notices something.)
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Chandler: Y'know uh, I didn't actually do this.
Monica: Oh no, was I cleaning in my sleep again?
Chandler: No, it wasn't you.
Monica: Well then who?
Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!
Monica: (shocked) I hope by maid you mean mistress, because if some other woman was here cleaning then...
Chandler: Uh honey, I know you don't like to relinquish control...
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Chandler: Look, she's really nice. Okay? And she mentioned that she adored the way that you arranged the sponges.
Monica: Did she really say that?
Chandler: Yes, I distinctly remember 'cause I thought it was a joke. Now just give her a chance, okay?
Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.
Chandler: What's the matter?
Monica: Well, usually when I'm this anxious, I clean!
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there as someone's cell phone starts to ring with one of those fancy ring tones.]
Phoebe: (looking around) Who's cell phone is that? It's just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Ross: I think it's coming from your bag.
Phoebe: (checks) I never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?
Eric: Hi, it's Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursula's fiancée.
Phoebe: Oh my God Eric hi! Wait, how'd you get this number?
Eric: Oh, I have a friend who's a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: Wow! What an incredible violation-and wonderful surprise.
Eric: Uh listen, I just-I thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Rachel: Wow! What did he do?
Phoebe: Shhh! I'm talking.
Eric: Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who...eats lunch.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? 'Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Eric: Yeah uh...okay. I'm-I'm sorry. Bye.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so you'd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Eric: Uhh, I won't take no for an answer.
Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
Eric: Great! But wh-wh-How do you know where I live?
Phoebe: I've got friends too. Okay, bye.
Eric: Bye.
(She hangs up.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! I'm going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I can't make lunch. (Exits.)
Ross: So apparently I'm available for lunch.
Rachel: I can't. I'm busy. I'm apartment hunting.
Ross: You're moving?
Rachel: Yeah, I can't live with Joey once the baby comes. I don't want my child's first words to be, (in a baby's voice) "How you doin'?"
Ross: So does-does Joey know you're moving?
Rachel: Well, I haven't discussed it with him yet, but I know he's gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Ross: That's not really p0rn.
Rachel: Not so much.
Ross: Hey, y'know what and if you're looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
Ross: Well I don't know, but how-how great would that be huh? You living in my building. I could help take care of the baby. I can come over whenever I want. (Rachel looks at him.) With your permission.
Rachel: Yeah that would really be great.
Ross: Yeah.
Rachel: Well can we see it?! Oh maybe we shouldn't. I mean if she just died this morning out of respect.
Ross: Yeah. No. No you're right.
(Pause as they both take another sip of coffee.)
Rachel: Shall we?
Ross: Yeah.
(They both exit.)
[Scene: Ross's Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Yes?
Ross: Hi. I'm Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Rachel: And I'm Rachel, an admirer of the building.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: She didn't pass.
Ross: What?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: My mother's still alive.
Ross: Oh, thank God!
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It looked like we were gonna lose her this morning, but she's a tough old bird.
Rachel: Ahh.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Are you close with her?
Ross: Of course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the time in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel out of the way.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: You speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend van mijn moeder te ontmoeten. (Translation: I'm very honored to meet a friend of my mother.)
Ross: Y'know I would it's just painful.
Rachel: So she's really not dead.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: No, she's hanging in there.
Rachel: Hmm. Do you think-Could you tell me if she's hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is observing the new maid, Brenda, clean.]
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Where'd you get it?
Monica: Oh well umm, I make it myself! It's two parts ammonia and one part lemon juice. And now the secret ingredient is...y'know what? We just met.
Brenda: Okay. Uhh, I'm gonna go get the clothes from the laundry room now. And, when I come back I'll clean behind the refrigerator.
Monica: (To Chandler) I love her.
Brenda: I'll be back in a minute.
Monica: Okay. (As Brenda exits Monica notices something.)
Chandler: See? I told you.
Monica: She stole my jeans!
Chandler: (pause) What?
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Chandler: So she stole your pants and then she came back and wore them in front of you?
Monica: Don't you see? It's the perfect crime!
Chandler: She must've been planning this for years!
Monica: I will prove it to you! Okay? About a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I dropped a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain on the crotch. Now when she comes back I will find it and show you that stain!
Chandler: Honey, isn't it possible that the company that sold the jeans made more than just the one pair?
Monica: I guess.
Chandler: So, shouldn't we go give her the benefit of the doubt before we go...snooping around her crotch?
Monica: Fine. I'm just glad I didn't give her my secret ingredient.
Chandler: Out of curiosity, what is your secret ingredient?
Monica: Yeah! (Laughs.)
[Scene: Eric's Apartment, he's opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Phoebe: Hi!
Eric: Come in, I'm so glad you're here.
Phoebe: Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry way you are though.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Phoebe: Oh.
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just...I got so angry just looking at her...(Looks at Phoebe)...face.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Covers her face with her hand.) Yeah.
Eric: I'm sorry. I just...when I look at you I see her. When I see her I get a little bit angry.
Phoebe: Maybe this is too weird.
Eric: No wait! There's only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Phoebe: No don't tear out your eyes!!
Eric: I was just, I was just gonna take out my lenses.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks at her.) So, is that better?
Eric: Not really. You...you're blurry, but you still look like Ursula. You're Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe...If I-if I just don't look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It...it works. I'm not, I'm not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldn't be this hard. Y'know? This is our first date y'know? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and 'Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand?' and y'know first kisses and...(He kisses her)...second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is reading some book and Gunther serves him a cup of coffee.]
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Ross: Yeah, we're done.
Gunther: Ezel. (Translation: Donkey)
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Ross: Really?!
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Ross: Sweet!
Joey: All right, well finish your coffee; let's go.
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Joey: To tape the game? You do this every time Ross, you're not gonna be on TV!
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Joey: Oh, you're switching apartments?
Ross: It's not for me, it's for Rachel.
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Ross: Yeah, but when the baby comes she's gonna want to move.
Joey: She is?
Ross: Yeah, you didn't expect her to live there with a baby did you?
Joey: I guess I didn't really think about it.
Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! You're an ezel!
Gunther: Jij hebt seks met ezels. (Translation: You have s*x with donkeys.)
Ross: Damnit!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Nice jeans!
Brenda: Oh thanks! I like your top.
Monica: Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) You're not gettin' it.
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Brenda: What happened?!
Monica: Oh, I fell asleep.
Brenda: I was thinking about taking my lunch break.
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? That'll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Brenda: All right.
(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and uses it to get up on the counter in order to clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to see the stain. That doesn't work so she sticks her head between Brenda's legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and traps Monica's head between her legs.)
Monica: Hello.
Brenda: What's going on?!
Monica: I'm sorry. I've never had a maid before, is this not okay?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is eating pizza as Joey returns from the Knicks game.]
Rachel: Hey!
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: How was the game?
Joey: Oh, okay. I...I ate way too much.
Rachel: Oh.
Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, grabs a slice, and takes a bite.) So umm, I was talkin' to Ross and he said you were looking for a new place.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Hopefully across the street if certain Dutch people would just let go.
Joey: I was kinda hoping you'd stay.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. There's no room for a baby here.
Joey: No room? It's a baby. It's like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Y'know, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, it's cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldn't even notice it. Where's the baby? (Mumbles that it's over in the corner.)
Rachel: Honey, it's not just a matter of where you put it. I mean a baby changes everything. They cry all the time. I mean imagine bringing home some girl and trying to score when there's a screaming baby around.
Joey: I could use a challenge! It's getting pretty easy.
Rachel: Honey, it's so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I can't do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didn't have to change.
Rachel: I know.
Joey: Y'know I blame Ross for this.
Rachel: I do too a little bit.
Joey: I'm gonna miss you, you're the hottest roommate I ever had.
[Scene: Eric's Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
Eric: Oh no, stay here we'll keep doing this. I'll pay you.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. I'll see you later.
Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) I love the way you kiss.
Phoebe: Really? That's the thing I'm worse at! You'll see. (Exits.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is shaking out the rugs on the balcony as Monica pouts in the living room.]
Chandler: (entering) Hi!
Monica: Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.
Chandler: How come?
Monica: Because I put my head between her legs.
Chandler: To see her pants?
Monica: They're my pants!
Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
Monica: No! I was just getting into position and then everything went dark.
Chandler: God! She is not stealing from us! Okay, will you let this go?
Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts her pink bra strap on the way.) She's wearing my bra!
Chandler: Oh dear God!
Monica: My pink flowered bra! I recognize the strap!
Chandler: And yet you don't recognize that you're crazy.
Monica: Here's the plan! Okay? I'm going to leave you get a look at Brenda's bra!
Chandler: Here's another plan...No!
Monica: I would do it but she thinks I'm attracted to her!
Chandler: Why?
Monica: Did you not hear where my head was? Come on! Come on we're a team! We're in this together!
Chandler: I fear a jury will see it the same way!
Monica: Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at woman's breasts all the time!
Chandler: You see that?
Monica: Do you see this? (Mimics him drooling over a woman's breasts.)
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if it's not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Monica: Yes! Absolutely. Okay? Look, you'll know it's mine because on the right cup, the lacey part, there's a very noticeable rip.
Chandler: You need new clothes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoeven's Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoeven's health or lack there of.]
Ross: Hi. How is she?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: It's not looking good.
Ross: (happily) Oh. (Realizes then sadly) Oh. Well I uh, I brought her some bloemen. (Flowers in Dutch.)
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: That's so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? I'm sure it would mean a lot to her.
Ross: Oh I don't know that it would.
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Well, her memory is pretty much gone.
Ross: All right then. (Follows her in and checks the place out.)
[Scene: Eric's Apartment, he's resting on the bed as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Eric: Welcome back!
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Eric: I don't know, I'm still pretty tired out from this afternoon.
Phoebe: Why?
Eric: Uh, the s*x.
Phoebe: What s*x?
Eric: Our s*x.
Phoebe: We didn't have s*x.
Eric: Well if I didn't have s*x with you, I had s*x with someone that looked an awful lot like...
Phoebe: (simultaneously as Eric) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! No! No! No!
Phoebe: You-you...you had s*x with Ursula?!
Eric: Uh, a little bit. She-she-she walked in and I thought she was you and I kissed her and...
Phoebe: You didn't notice she was wearing different clothes?!
Eric: Well I was just so excited to see you.
Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Y'know what? This is too weird.
Eric: No-no it's not! I don't want to lose you! It's-it's like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was you-Yeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: So I guess this is it.
Eric: Yeah. (They hug.) Maybe it's for the best. You smell just like her.
Phoebe: Yeah, so do you.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is wiping the coffee table and Chandler is trying to look at her bra and leans over on the coffee table to get a good look.]
Brenda: (noticing him) What are you doing?
Chandler: I'm leaning. This is where I lean.
Brenda: Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.
Chandler: Brenda a bee!
Brenda: What?
Chandler: Yes! It's flown into your blouse and you'd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Brenda: I think I know what's going on here.
Chandler: You do?
Brenda: Look, I know it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, but it's wrong. You're married.
Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) Can I just see your bra?
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is sitting on the step as Rachel returns.]
Rachel: Hi!
Monica: (looking at Rachel's jeans) Where did you get those jeans?!
Rachel: You gave them to me!
Monica: No I didn't!
Rachel: All right, I took them. But I figured it would be okay because you got a big ink stain on the crotch.
Monica: Oh no! Did you take my bra too?!
Rachel: What bra?
Monica: The pink one with the flowers?!
Rachel: You mean the one that you're wearing? (Adjusts Monica's pink bra strap as Monica looks down her shirt.)
Brenda: (entering) I quit! (Storms off.)
Monica: Sounds about right.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
Rachel: What is this?
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uh-Oh look! Here's a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Rachel: You're so sweet. (Notices something in the crib.) Oh my God! And you gave the baby Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and hat.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.... That-that-that's really just to show where the baby would go. Y'know why don't I hold on to him so that there's no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and apologizes to him.)
Rachel: But Joey the baby is going to be crying, it's going to be loud.
Joey: I'm loud!
Rachel: It's gonna be up all night!
Joey: I'm up all night!
Rachel: It's gonna poop!
Joey: Hello!
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Joey: Look, if I'm bringing home a woman who can't stand being around a baby, then maybe I don't want to be with that woman! Or maybe we'll just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Joey, are you sure?
Joey: Yeah! All right-Look, I know sometimes it'll be hard, okay? But, it'll also be really...really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Rachel: I want me to stay too.
Joey: Ohh!
Rachel: Thank you. (They hug.) Oh Joey and look at this crib! It's so cute!
Joey: I know! I found it on the street.
Rachel: Are you serious-Really?! It's in such good condition.
Joey: Yeah.
Rachel: Wow! Whoa-whoa what's under the covers?
Joey: I don't know.
Rachel: It's moving.
Joey: Ew.
Rachel: It's still-(Screams)-It's got a tail! Get it out of here! Get it out of here!!
Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)
Dedicated to the Memory of Pearl Harmon Closing Credits
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Rachel are toasting her staying put.]
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I don't care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
Rachel: Ewww. Yeah. Umm. I think I'm gonna stay here.
Joey: Isn't that great?
Ross: (stutters looking for words) Ezels!!
|
Plan: A: Chandler; Q: Who does Rachel get to inspect her jeans? A: a maid; Q: What does Chandler hire to help Monica? A: jeans; Q: What item of clothing does Rachel think the maid is stealing? A: Rachel; Q: Who returns Monica's borrowed clothes? A: Monica's borrowed clothes; Q: What does Rachel return to Monica? A: a pervert; Q: What does the maid think Chandler is? A: Phoebe; Q: Who does Eric want to date? A: Ursula; Q: Who does Eric remind Phoebe of? A: a dying Dutch woman; Q: What kind of woman is Ross trying to get an apartment for? A: Joey; Q: Who wants Rachel to continue living with him? Summary: Chandler hires a maid to help Monica, but she soon suspects the maid is stealing her clothes. After getting Chandler to inspect a pair of jeans she is wearing that she thinks are hers, Rachel returns Monica's borrowed clothes. The maid quits, believing Chandler is a pervert. Eric wants to date Phoebe, but he is too reminded of Ursula . Ross attempts to secure the apartment of a dying Dutch woman for Rachel, while Joey wants Rachel to continue living with him.
|
Written by SCOTT PETERS & RENE ECHEVARRIA Directed by YVES SIMENEAU
Adam's House Orson begins to shake the gate and as he does so, the house begins to shake, smashing things inside. The windows blow out and Adam grabs his head as Orson begins to yell. Adam falls to the ground, dead, with some glass embedded in his chest. Kyle's hospital room. Diana turns up to find Tom asleep in the chair.
Diana: Tom?
Tom: What are you doing here?
Diana: Your phone is off. Ryland wants us to come in.
Tom: What's up?
Diana: There's been a murder. The police are holding one of the 4400. Homeland Security A picture of Orson is brought up on a monitor.
Ryland: That's him. That's Orson Bailey.
Tom: Bailey? Some kind of businessman, right?
Ryland: Right.
Tom: Life insurance?
Ryland: Yeah.
Diana: Disappeared in the 70's.
Ryland: '79. Declared dead in '86. Seattle police are holding him in connection with a homocide in Madison Park, last night.
Tom: Do they know he's one of the 4400?
Ryland: Bailey told them. That's why they called us.
Diana: Well, I thought the returnee's were told not to discuss their status?
Ryland: Well we counsel them to avoid it, if they possibly can, but we were talking job interviews and housing applications. There's not really a protocol for being questioned about a murder.
Tom: He said holding, not charging.
Ryland: That's right. There are some conflicting reports about what actually went on at the crime scene.
Tom: We'll check it out.
Ryland: Quietly. I don't want to be dodging microphones at the six 'o'clock news.
Tom: Quietly it is.
Ryland: Diana! He hands her a folder, and they leave. Tom leaves the building with Diana and uses his mobile to call his wife. He reaches her answerphone.
Answerphone: Hi, this is Linda. I can't come to the phone right now, but just leave a message and I'll call you back.
Tom: Linda it's me again. You said we needed to talk, so pick up the phone. Linda, come on. Alright, call me.
Diana: Everything alright?
Tom: Same old, same old. Call me, don't call me. I wish she'd make up her mind.
Diana: You know, I had a boyfriend once. Every time...
Tom: Boyfriend?
Diana: Well, don't look so surprised. God! Yeah, anyway, the thing about this guy thing...
Tom: You can stop!
Diana: I barely got started.
Tom: All I'm saying is, you don't have to try to make me feel better.
Diana: Well, it was more of an attempt at bonding, via a shared similar experience. Can you open the door?
Tom: How long did you go out with this guy?
Diana: Nine months.
Tom: Nine months. So you're equating your nine months of dating, with my nineteen years of marriage.
Diana: You're right, ok, forget it. You want me to drive?
Tom: What for?
Diana: I don't know. So you can brood?
Tom: Just get in. He get's into the car and leaves her standing. She taps on the window as her door is still locked. Shawn's first day back at High School. He walks up to find his locker. The halls are filled with people, all staring at him. Someone rushes up and pushes him against the locker. Kenny and Nikki are watching.
Brad: Look who floated in on a ball of light. Remember me?
Shawn: Rossi. Hi. It looks like the steroids finally kicked in.
Brad: Funny man, funny. I always did appreciate your sense of humour. But that time you sold me those concert tickets, right before you disappeared.
Shawn: To see the Foo Fighters? How was the show?
Brad: The police were waiting for me when I showed up. The tickets were stolen man. You got me arrested.
Shawn: You got arrested for stolen tickets?
Brad: Yeah, I had 5 tabs of ect's on me. I had to pee into a cup, once a week, for two years, because of you. Shawn is being hit up against the locker. Nikki and Kenny rush over.
Nikki: Stop it!
Danny: Come on, get off of him!
Brad: It's between me and your brother.
Danny: Yeah? Well I'm making it between you and me.
Brad: See you around, freak. Oh by the way. I like the new paint job on your ride. Brad walks away.
Nikki: You ok?
Shawn: Fine Diana and Tom are looking at the surveillance video of Orson.
Officer: The security camera's caught everything. The guy definitely had a bug up his ass. Except, as far as we can tell, he never went inside. Kensington fell into all that glass, and impaled himself.
Tom: You've been through all the footage?
Officer: Every scrap. He never made it past the gate.
Tom: Hold on a second. Did you see that? They watch as Orson shakes the gate so violently that it comes away from the concrete posts.
Tom: That's glass.
Diana: Yeah, something blew out the windows, but from the inside.
Officer: Yeah, we're still trying to figure that one out. There was no seismic activity. No evidence of a bomb or gas leak.
Tom: And Bailey's not talking?
Officer: We've sent half a dozen guys in there, but he hasn't given us anything. Orson in interviewed.
Orson: Look, I've been over and over this, with you people.
Tom: We're not the police, we're Homeland Security.
Orson: Well tell the bozo's out there, that I had nothing to do with what happened to Adam.
Tom: Let's just go over your day again. You went to see Adam Kensington about a job, and even though your name is still on the company letterhead, he brushed you off. I know how that would make me feel.
Orson: I admit I was angry. I went to Adam's house to...I don't know why I went. But I didn't kill him.
Diana: Let me read you an e-mail Kensington sent to his attorney, after your visit.
Tom: It's not important.
Diana: Just a sec. Bailey is making desperate claims regarding his financial stake in the company. He actually threatened to sue. I don't think he realises, there are going to be hundreds of law suits involving the 4400. It'll take years. The poor b*st*rd, he really is rather.... The coffee pots are shaking.
Diana: ...a pathetic case. The coffee pots shatter. Orson's nose is bleeding.
Orson: Now I'm not a lawyer, but I'm not an idiot either. You've had me here for twelve hours. Either you charge me with something, or let me go. Diana and Tom make their way out of the station.
Diana: So we're just gonna let him walk, after what happened in there?
Tom: Yeah, looks like it. But for future reference, if I ever wanna play good cop, bad cop, I'll let you know.
Diana: Which one do I get to be?
Tom: This isn't a joke. There's a time to lean in on a guy, and that wasn't it. You shut him down.
Diana: Look, I'm sorry. Bailey admitted he was angry with Kensington. He was at his house.
Tom: I didn't say it was over, did I? Maia lays flowers on the graves of her parents.
Maia: Do you think they ever thought about me?
Foster Mother: Oh sweetie, they were your parents. I am sure that they thought about you every day.
Maia: Thanks for bringing me here.
Kenneth: This place used to be so nice. Now the kids leave their garbage everywhere.
Foster Mother: It's a shame.
Maia: You don't have to worry. Cranridge is nice.
Kenneth: Cranridge cemetary?
Maia: Yes, that's where you will be.
Kenneth: Be? Be what?
Maia: Buried. Tom and Diana go to the morgue.
Medical Examiner : Kensington's a popular guy around here today. The whole staffs been through here for the post mortem.
Tom: Why's that?
Medical Examiner : Well, he may have been a boring old suit when he was alive? But in death, he's a rock star.
Diana: God, look at that. Those were his parietal bones? They're looking at x-rays of his skull.
Medical Examiner : We've seen bleeding deaths in here, as bad as you can imagine. Even a guy who jumped off the space needle and had to be brought to us in a garbage bag, but I have never seen a skull in this kind of shape before. Thousands of tiny little bone fragments that...
Tom: Kensington was impaled. Are you saying that's not how he died? Medical Examiner :Oh, that would have killed him, but he was already dead, from a shattered skull.
Richard is in a phonebox. He phones Lily's house.
Heidi: Hello?
Richard: Hello, is Lily there?
Heidi: Who?
Richard: Is this Heidi?
Heidi: Yes.
Richard: I'm Richard Tyler, a friend of your mothers.
Heidi: My mother's name is Carole. Are you sure you have the right number?
Richard: This is the Moore residence, isn't it?
Heidi: Yeah, but there's no-one named Lily here, sorry. Lily is with a Doctor.
Doctor: Well I can't give you any medicine for the nausea.
Lily: Why not?
Doctor: Because it wouldn't work. You're not sick Lily, you're pregnant.
Lily: That's impossible. The quarantine Doctors would have told me.
Doctor: You said they gave you a full screening seven weeks ago. If you'd just conceived, it wouldn't have shown up in their tests.
Lily: Conceived? When?
Doctor: I assume it happened right before you disappeared. But there's no mistake, you're definitely pregnant. There's nothing to worry about. I'd like to see you next week.... Her voice fades out. Lily is in shock. Seacrest Senior High School Shawn is walking down the stairs.
Nikki: Shawn!
Shawn: Hey, how you doing? What's up?
Nikki: Good. Did you get your car fixed?
Shawn: It's gonna be in the shop for about a week.
Nikki: Yeah. You know, Danny and I are going to a party tonight at Irvin Chobey's house. You should come.
Shawn: I don't think so.
Nikki: Why not?
Shawn: Um, well, they're gonna be listening to music I've never listened to. Talking about movies I've never seen. School is bad enough. Partying with a bunch of runts from...
Nikki: Is that how you saw me? A runt?
Shawn: You were fourteen, Nikki.
Nikki: And now? The bell rings.
Shawn: I'm late for class. Orson goes to visit his wife. He finds her cubicle empty.
Orson: Where's my wife?
Manager: Mr Bailey, you have our deepest condolences.
Orson: What?
Manager: We called your hotel room, there was no answer.
Orson: Elizabeth?
Manager: It was a pulmonary embolism, about one 'o'clock this morning. We tried to revive her.
Orson: No!! She's all I have!! He has the man hold by the collar.
Manager: Please just calm down.
Orson: She's all I have!! He begins to lose control. Things begin to explode and his nose is bleeding again. Homeland Security
Diana: So, the red dots mark the spots where the American members of the 4400 originally lived.
Tom: You mean, the returnee's.
Diana: Not according to the press. It's the 4400. Now you have to admit, it's a bit strange. A nice, round number, like that. I wonder if it has any significance.
Tom: So you're saying that if 3781 people, had suddenly shown up that night, it wouldn't have been as strange.
Diana: I'd say, slightly less strange. This however, is downright weird. Here's where the 4400 are right now, two weeks after their release.
Tom: 65% are still in Seattle.
Diana: They're just not going home, and none of them can come up with a good reason as to why.
Tom: You think it means something?
Diana: In the CDC, we'd call this a statistically significant, disease cluster.
Tom: Yeah well, in the FBI, we'd call it a freaky coincidence.
Diana: I don't believe in coincidences. Disease clusters. I believe in those. Lily meet's with Brian in a restaurant.
Brian: What do you mean, you're pregnant?
Lily: I just found out a few day's ago.
Brian: I don't understand. When you disappeared, I'd been in New York for weeks, studying for the bar.
Lily: I can't explain it. I haven't been with anyone else.
Brian: So what are we talking, immaculate conception?
Lily: I don't know what we're talking about. I wish I did.
Brian: You know, when you disappeared, I'd have given anything in the world to talk to you again. I had whole conversations with you, in my head. I missed you so much, Lil. But we can't do this. I have another family now, and I'm sorry, I know that's not fair to you, but...
Lily: I am still part of your life, whether you want me to be or not.
Brian: Lil, you haven't been part of my life for eleven years.
Lily: I wanna see Heidi.
Brian: I'm sorry, that's impossible.
Lily: She's my daughter.
Brian: She doesn't know that. She thinks that Carole is her mother.
Lily: You never told her about me?
Brian: She was a baby when you left. Hell, we were babies when you left.
Lily: You can't stop me from seeing her.
Brian: I already have. He hands her an envelope.
Lily: What's this?
Brian: It's a temporary restraining order.
Lily: But I haven't done anything wrong.
Brian: Lily, I'm a lawyer, I know how to work the system. Now I don't wanna use this, but I will if you force me to. My first priority has to be to protect my family.
Lily: I am your family!
Brian: I wish you were, but you're not. Not anymore. I'm sorry lil, I'm asking you. Please stay away from Heidi and from me. I'm sorry Lil. He stands up and leaves. The residential home
Manager: At first I thought it was an earthquake. Everything was shaking, falling off the walls, but then, I can't believe I'm gonna say this.... things started to fly around the room. Papers, chairs.
Tom: What do you mean, fly?
Manager: I mean fly. Like it was a tornado. Except there was no wind. Everybody was screaming. Mr Bailey Was shouting.My head felt like it was gonna burst, and then suddenly it was over.
Tom: What about Bailey?
Manager: Oh, he looked scared, like the rest of us. That's when he ran away. The staff, everyone's saying he's one of these people. The 4400? Is that true?
Tom: Listen to me very carefully. You are not going to talk about this to the press or anyone else, and the same goes for your staff. If I pick up a paper and see a word of this, or I see it reported on the news, I'm gonna take an interest in this place. Tom, Diana and Ryland take a walk outside the Homeland Security building.
Ryland: Things flying around the room.
Tom: I know, but we got a half a dozen witnesses, all saying the same thing.
Ryland: Yeah, flying. I gotta do a briefing for Home Sect DC in the morning and I'm gonna tell them what?
Diana: Well I'd go with, the incident is under investigation.
Tom: Bailey checked out of his hotel, after he left the nursing home. He could be on the run, we're not sure.
Ryland: Find him. You bought us some time, but this story is gonna leak and I want Bailey in our hands before it does. On campus
Nikki: Is this campus, everything you remember it to be?
Danny: You heard about Williams and Miss Sinclair, right?
Shawn: No.
Danny: No? They found them in the janitors closet.
Shawn: What is that?
Danny: Making out. Not bad. Rossi watches them as they walk past.
Shawn: What?
Danny: Everybody in school's been talking about it.
Brad: Yo, freak! Still hiding behind your little brother?
Shawn: You know what Brad? You need to shut it down.
Brad: You wanna shut me down? You know, the only thing I'm shutting down, is you, bitch! Shawn drops his bag, as Brad stands up.
Shawn: You're really starting to piss me off, now.
Brad: Come on, bring it! Knock me down. They begin to fight on the grass. Shawn gets him on the floor and holds him there. Brad begins to turn blue and Kenny runs over shouting.
Danny: Hey, come on! Let him go! Shawn! Shawn get's up.
Danny: What did you do to him? Shawn is bleeding from the mouth, and walks away. Maia's foster father has a brochure from a cemetary.
Kenneth: I don't wanna hear anymore.
Foster Mother: Keep your voice down, she'll hear you.
Kenneth: It's bad enough she tells us we're gonna be buried in Crown Ridge cemetary, but then the next day, we get a brochure from the place, in the mail?
Foster Mother: It's a coincidence. Look, she's not what we expected, so let's just talk to her.
Kenneth: Yeah. The woman goes to Maia's room and finds her standing there with her bag packed.
Maia: It's ok. I knew I wasn't going to be here very long. Shawn is playing basketball in the street with Kenny.
Danny: Come on, come on let's go.
Shawn: Give me the ball.
Danny: Your shot space boy.
Shawn: What is your problem
Danny: What's my problem?
Shawn: Yeah, what's your problem
Danny: Come on Danny, not you too. Come on!
Danny: The way he went down? That's not normal. You know it, I know it, everybody saw it!
Shawn: What are you saying?
Danny: You tell me.
Shawn: I didn't do anything to him, alright, Danny? Not a thing! Tom and Diana are going through some of Elizabeth's belongings.
Diana: Is this all that's left, when you're done? Poor Mrs Bailey. A box of trinkets.
Tom: They're not trinkets. They're memories. The kind you leave behind, you know, for family and friends?
Diana: Hmmm. I should get to work on that.
Tom: I'm not going there.
Diana: Well, believe it or not, some of us are happier alone.
Tom: No-one's happy alone. If they think that, they're kidding themselves.
Diana: I thought you weren't going there?
Tom: Did you see this? This looks promising. He finds a photo of Orson and Elizabeth.
Diana: Wyler summer cabin. Wyler was Elizabeth's maiden name.
Tom: Orson's panicking, he needs a place to run.
Diana: Well there's no address.
Tom: Then we'll have to find one. Maia is taken back to Homeland Security.
Kenneth: It's better this way, for everyone.
Foster Mother: Everyone? Or just you They say goodbye to her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Foster Mother: Maia honey? You know this isn't about you. You are a wonderful girl. It's just, Kenneth and I, we just made a mistake. We are not ready to be parents yet.
Maia: It's ok.
Foster Mother: No, it's not. But sweetie? Those things you say? They can scare people, if you're not careful. Do you understand? She nods.
Foster Mother: Good Seacrest High School Shawn is sat on a wall. Nikki approaches, with a CD in her hands.
Nikki: For you. Come on, take it.
Shawn: What is it?
Nikki: A CD that I burned. Think of it as a crash course in all things new and cool. The Darkness, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Killing Joke, all the bands you've never heard of.
Shawn: Thankyou. But Nikki, I could listen to all the music, and watch all the shows, but it wouldn't matter, cos they're still gonna look at me like I'm different.
Nikki: At least you'll be listening to some good music.
Shawn: I don't understand, see, because everybody has been looking at me like I'm some kind of monster since the fight, but you, aren't you afraid to be seen with me?
Nikki: No! What do I care what those creeps think? If you like the CD, I'll bring you another one.
Shawn: Sounds great.
Nikki: Alright.
Shawn: Ok.
Nikki: Ok. See ya.
Shawn: Talk to you later.
Nikki: Ok. Lily is walking in the park. She watches a family, down by the lake. Homeland Security
Tom: Ok, bring up the sattellite charts.
Diana: So we're looking for a small house, with a north facing exposure, somewhere within the vicinity of Appleton Lake.
Tom: If it's still standing.
Diana: No structures within grids 1,2,3 and 9. 4 and 7 each have one, but they're the wrong shape.
Tom: Let's eliminate all those.
Diana: That leaves us with five, six and eight. That's too small. Wrong orientation. That's too small, that's too big. Nothing but tree's and air, it's not there anymore.
Tom: Hang on a second. Get a little tighter on this.
Diana: It looks like it could be a house.
Tom: This [Picture] was taken fifty years ago. These tree's would be huge by now. Enlarge again.
Diana: Bingo! There's your house.
Tom: Bingo. They leave the building
Diana: Appleton's what? About seventy miles?
Tom: Yeah. Look, when we get up there, I'll handle Bailey.
Diana: Alright. Are we leaning on him?
Tom: No leaning.
Diana: No problem. A man approaches them.
Court Officer : Excuse me. Are you Tom Baldwin?
Tom: Yeah, who are you?
Court Officer : You've been served. Sorry man. He leaves, and Tom opens the envelope.
Diana: You're getting sued?
Tom: Linda's filed for divorce. Lily is sat in the middle of a playpark, watching the children play. Richard turns up.
Richard: Lily.
Lily: Richard! She jumps up and hugs him, beginning to cry.
Lily: I don't understand. I thought you went home.
Richard: I did, but there was nothing there for me.
Lily: How did you find me here?
Richard: The park, right? This is where you used to bring Heidi.
Lily: Richard, it was terrible. Brian's married. Heidi doesn't know I exist. Maia is sat on the grass, outside Homeland Security. Ryland approaches and sit's down next to her.
Ryland: Hello Maia.
Maia: Hello.
Ryland: Oh, I like it out here. It's much better than my stuffy office.
Maia: But you didn't bring me out here to talk about the weather.
Ryland: You're a very smart little girl.
Maia: Thankyou. The thing is that the Griffins didn't really give a reason, why they brought you back.
Maia: Maybe they didn't have a reason.
Ryland: Could be. Were they mean to you?
Maia: No.
Ryland: Were you mean to them?
Maia: No.
Ryland: Why do you think you're back here?
Maia: I don't think they like kid's, much.
Ryland: Why do you say that?
Maia: They brought me back, and I'm a kid.
Ryland: You don't really wanna tell me the reason, do you? It's ok. Maybe you'll change your mind one day.
Maia: Maybe. Tom reaches Linda's answerphone, as he's driving to Orson's cabin.
Answerphone: Hi, this is Linda. I can't take your call right now, but please leave me a message and I'll call you back.
Diana: What, she's still not answering?
Tom: Nope.
Diana: Can I ask you a question?
Tom: No.
Diana: Well I'm gonna ask you anyway. So your son, how long has he been in a coma?
Tom: Three years.
Diana: That's a long time.
Tom: You have no idea.
Diana: Maybe you and your wife can work things out.
Tom: Yeah, one day Kyle's gonna wake up and I'll have to tell him his whole family's fallen apart. I go to that hospital every day, and I tell myself that makes me a good father.
Diana: Oh you are a good father. Kyle's lucky to have a Dad like you. Cos, not everyone does. You can trust me, cos I know. Richard and Lily are sat drinking coffee.
Richard: A baby? Are you sure?
Lily: I had the Doctors do the test three times. The thing is that, Brian was out of town when I disappeared and I haven't been with anyone since I've been back.
Richard: I don't understand. How did you...
Lily: I don't know. I'm sorry to be dumping this on you. It's not really fair.
Richard: It's ok, I wanna help.
Lily: There's some sort of connection between us, isn't there? I feel it.
Richard: I can feel it too. That's why I came back. But it's more complicated than that. Your Grandmother and I, we weren't just friends, it was more than that. We were gonna start a family.
Lily: I think part of me already knew that. The way you talk about her. The look in your eye.
Richard: I thought I was playing it so safe.
Lily: It must have been difficult for the two of you. A white woman and black man, in the fifties
Richard: Black. Back then I was negro, or coloured, or worse. We didn't care. We figured, after the war, we'd take off to some big city like Chicago, New York, Paris.
Lily: But you never made it home.
Richard: No. I never did. She takes his hand
Lily: I'm glad you found me.
Richard: Me too. Shawn is listening to the CD that Nikki gave him. He looks over at a picture of him and Kyle Orson is sat in the cabin. Tom and Diana turn up and get out of the car. Orson hears them and hides. Tom makes his way up the steps and approach the door.
Tom: Mr Bailey, it's Tom Baldwin, Homeland Security. We met at the police station, remember? Diana points and makes her way around the house
Tom: Mr Bailey, we're here to help, but you've gotta talk to us.
Orson: Go away!
Tom: I'm afraid we can't do that.
Orson: I just wanna be left alone. I don't wanna hurt anyone.
Tom: That's good, because we don't want anyone else hurt.
Orson: If you leave, I promise, no-one will ever see me again. I'll just stay here, away from everybody.
Tom: Listen to me. We both know that's not going to work, Mr Bailey. Now please, open the door. We can figure this out together. I'm on your side!
Orson: No you're not! No-one is.
Tom: My nephew, he's one of the 4400, just like you. I've seen how hard it is for him. I know it's even harder for you.
Orson: You don't know anything. My wife, she was everything to me.
Tom: Believe me, I'm sorry for your loss.
Orson: I don't need pity out of you! Go away! I just wanna be left alone.
Tom: We can't do that.
Orson: I said get away from me. The house begins to shake.
Orson: Please stay away. Please. His nose is bleeding. Things are falling down. Tom's nose is bleeding, as is Diana's ears.
Diana: Tom, your nose. Tom kicks the door in and get's out his gun. As he get's inside he falls to his knee's.
Orson: I can't control it. I can't control it. Tom is on the floor, screaming. Diana is standing in the doorway and is pointing her gun at Orson.
Diana: Whatever it is you're doing, Mr Bailey, stop it!
Orson: I can't control it.
Diana: Stop it now! She shoots him in the shoulder and he falls to the ground. The shaking stops and Tom get's up.
Diana: Are you alright?
Tom: Yeah, I'll call for an ambulance.
Diana: Ok. We're gonna get you some help Mr Bailey. Just don't die on me. Homeland Security
Ryland: Bailey's alive, but it doesn't look like he's gonna be talking to us anytime soon. As far at the general public's concerned? We're gonna deny it ever happened.
Diana: Yeah well,we know better. The question is, will it happen again?
Tom: So what do you suggest we do? Round them all up and put them all back in quarantine?
Diana: You saw what Bailey could do. You felt it, the same as me. Who know's what the rest of them are capable of.
Ryland: I sure as hell don't. But then again, it's not my job to find out. It's yours. Aren't you glad you wanted back in. He leaves the room.
Tom: I haven't thanked you for saving my life.
Diana: I never shot anyone before. Just seeing him lying there like that.
Tom: Are you gonna be ok?
Diana: Yeah, I'll get there. You know, I mean't what I said to Ryland back there. If Orson can do those things, who knows where all this is going?
Tom: So far we've got one case, and maybe that's all that will ever happen.
Diana: You ever noticed anything unusual with Shawn? Cos I just need to know, if you had, you'd tell me. He thinks back to the bird hitting the wal.
Tom: There's nothing to tell. Danny and Nikki are online, finding sites about The 4400. Shawn is walking up the stairs.
Danny: That's good. There's three other sites.
Shawn: What are you guys doing?
Danny: Research.
Shawn: On the 4400 scoop.com?
Nikki: It's just...You know the web. There's a site for everything.
Shawn: The 4400 menace? I know this guy. I was in quarantine with him.
Danny: They're saying he killed someone, just by thinking about it.
Shawn: So that makes me some kind of freak?
Nikki: No, we were just...
Danny: We wanna fast. Come on, he did something to him, you saw it!
Shawn: Danny, you have no idea what you're talking about. Neither do you. He leaves the room.
Nikki: Shawn!
Danny: What? You were thinking the same thing. Shawn arrives in Kyle's hospital room. He stands over him and touches his chest. Kyle begins to drag in a breath and opens his eyes. Sitting up, he then falls back to the bed and closes his eyes. Shawn backs out of the room.
|
Plan: A: Diana; Q: Who invites Maia to live with her? A: a supermarket employee; Q: Who is using his powers to combat crime? A: his 18-month odyssey; Q: What did the supermarket employee return from? A: the pregnant Lily; Q: Who believes her baby can communicate with her? A: about 8-year-old clairvoyant Maia; Q: Who is Diana concerned about? Summary: Tom and Diana investigate a supermarket employee who returned from his 18-month odyssey with enhanced strength and reflexes and is using his powers to combat crime in his neighborhood. Elsewhere, the pregnant Lily believes her baby can communicate with her; and Diana, concerned about 8-year-old clairvoyant Maia, invites the girl to live with her.
|
1.19 - Emily in Wonderland
OPEN AT ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
(It's the weekly Friday dinner. Lorelai, Rory and Emily are sitting at the dinner table eating.)
RORY: Grandma, can I have some baby pictures of you and Grandpa?
EMILY: Any particular reason?
RORY: Yeah, we're doing this visual family history project for school.
EMILY: Oh. Well, if it's for school I suppose I could dig something up.
RORY: And I need some of Mom too.
LORELAI: I thought we already had this conversation.
RORY: Yeah, but I don't believe you.
LORELAI: Mother tell her.
EMILY: I don't have any baby pictures of your mother.
LORELAI: Thank you.
RORY: How could you not have any baby pictures of Mom?
EMILY: Because when your mother was seven, I came downstairs and found her burning all of her baby pictures.
R: Why would you do that? I'm sure you were a cute baby.
EMILY: She was. She was very cute.
L: Four, three, two, one.
EMILY: In most respects.
L: Then we have lift off.
R: What does that mean?
L: Nothing.
EMILY: I don't see what the problem is. You certainly grew into it.
R: Grown into what?
EMILY: As a child, your mother had an unusually large head.
L: The best thing about it was that she would tell me constantly. My first complete sentence was, "Big head want dolly."
R: I can't imagine it being that bad.
EMILY: It wasn't. It just affected her balance a little so. . .
L: Okay, can we please talk about something besides my formerly huge head?
R: Are these new chairs Grandma?
EMILY: Why, yes Rory, they are.
LORELAI: They are?
EMILY: I got them from a dealer up in Maine last summer. He just finished restoring them.
LORELAI: They look exactly like the old ones.
RORY: They're nice.
LORELAI: Are you sure they're new?
EMILY: Of course I'm sure. I bought them.
LORELAI: I don't see any difference at all.
EMILY: Well, the arch in the back is higher and they have a completely different leg.
L: Hmm, no difference.
EMILY: Of course I could only get ten of these, so I'm two chairs short of a set.
L: You're telling me.
EMILY: Lorelai, do you realize how rare these chairs are?
L: No.
EMILY: I've searched for three years or them. I've combed every fine antique store on the East Coast and this is all I could find. I blame Peg Mosley.
L: Hm, Peg Mosley. Evil, evil woman.
R: What did Peg Mosley do?
L: She lured these two German children to her gingerbread house and then she tried to eat them. Pass the artichokes please.
EMILY: I made the mistake of telling Peg all my favorite special spots and that woman moved in and completely wiped them out. You can't find a decent Biedermayer hutch in all of Connecticut. I'm desperate for new sources.
R: What about Kim's Antiques?
EMILY: What's Kim's Antiques?
L: Didn't that burn down?
R: My best friend Lane, her parents have this great antiques store in Stars Hollow.
EMILY: Is that so? (To Lorelai) Why haven't you ever told me about it?
L: Oh, I don't know Mom. I guess it just got lost in my big head.
R: Maybe you should come to Stars Hollow and I'll take you there. Like Saturday. You can come see the town.
EMILY: Well, won't you have to study?
R: I can put off studying for one day.
L: I'm working.
EMILY: No one is asking you to do anything Lorelai. This is between Rory and me. I accept your offer Rory. I would love to spend Saturday with you.
R: Great.
L: Well, I'm just sorry that I'm gonna miss it.
EMILY: Eat your artichoke Lorelai.
(Opening credits)
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
(Rory and Lorelai are sitting at a table. Luke brings their plates to them.)
LUKE: Okay, French toast with bacon crispy. Pancakes, two eggs over easy.
L: Oh.
LUKE: What?
L: You put the eggs on top of the pancakes.
R: Oops.
LUKE: What?
L: Yeah, well, it's like two eyes staring at me. See, I can't eat it like this.
R: Hence the oops.
LUKE: What are you talking about? You always order the same thing.
L: Yeah, but you usually put the eggs on the side so that my breakfast is not ogling me.
LUKE: It's the same food.
L: Hmm, yeah, I need the eggs put on the side.
LUKE: You want a brand new plate.
L: Yes.
LUKE: How about if I take this plate in the back, I take the eggs off the pancakes, I put the same eggs on the side and bring the plate back out. What happens then?
L: Then I can eat my breakfast.
LUKE: It's the same food just a different configuration.
L: I won't know that.
LUKE: I'm gonna take the plate in the back.
(Luke picks up the plate and walks away.)
L: So what time does the judgmental express arrive?
R: Grandma gets here at noon.
L: Hmm.
R: Are you sure you won't do lunch?
L: Oh no, I can't, lunch is bad.
(Rachel walks over to the table.)
RACHEL: Lorelai, you're here. Good. Don't move.
L: I won't.
(Rachel walks away)
R: What are you doing at lunch?
L: Oh, I have very important things to do.
R: Like what?
L: Well, at noon I have to not have lunch with my mother.
R: Very nice.
(Rachel walks back with a pile of photographs.)
RACHEL: So I'm developing my pictures from the Firelight Festival. Some amazing stuff. And I'm thinking maybe there's a book here, faces of small town America. . .
L: Ah, you should feel safe, you don't live near these people.
RACHEL: Exactly. And the very last shot on my roll was this.
(Rachel hands Lorelai a picture of Luke and Lorelai sitting on a bench.)
L: Wow. When did you take this?
RACHEL: When you weren't looking.
(Luke walks over with Lorelai's plate.)
LUKE: What's that?
L: Oh, it's a picture of us.
LUKE: Us?
RORY: Rachel took it.
RACHEL: At the Firelight Festival.
LUKE: Oh, sure, yeah. (hands Lorelai the plate.) So, uh, here's your plate, no eyes.
L: Thank you.
RACHEL: Do you wear contacts?
L: Me? No.
RACHEL: God, you've got amazing eyes. Doesn't she?
LUKE: Oh, yeah. Sure, I guess. . . I mean, they're, you know, placed good. . . . symmetrical. I'm gonna get some more coffee.
RACHEL: Yeah.
(Rory hands Lorelai a photo of an old building.)
R: Oh wow. Mom, look at this.
L: What is that?
RACHEL: It's an old abandoned inn I ran across when I was exploring the other day.
L: This is Dragonfly. I totally forgot about this place.
RACHEL: Well, it doesn't look like it's been operational in years.
R: Look at all the trees. It's pretty. Oh, I'm buzzing. (takes her pager out of her pocket)
L: What have I said about buzzing in public?
R: It's Lane. 911. That's trig. Gotta go.
L: Bye. Take a . . . yeah.
R: Bye Rachel.
RACHEL: Bye. (Rory leaves.) See, that is one really not annoying kid.
L: Yes, she really is not.
RACHEL: See, I might consider doing the whole mom thing if I could be guaranteed that I could get one just like her.
L: Oh you can, you just have to go to Sears. God, where is this again?
RACHEL: Uh, it's kind of behind the mill. You go over the little footbridge with the mean duck family living under it.
L: Yes, the Armbrusters. Wow, it's really amazing.
RACHEL: Do you want to see it?
L: What?
RACHEL: The inn. I'm gonna head out that way in a little while.
L: Oh, well. . .
RACHEL: Come on, finish your breakfast. I'll drive us out there.
(Luke walks to the table carrying a coffee pot.)
LUKE: Drive her out where?
RACHEL: Oh, Lorelai and I are going to cruise the docks.
L: Yeah, we're gonna see how many sailors we can get to tattoo our names on their butts.
RACHEL: So what do you think?
L: Well, I have to check in at the inn first.
RACHEL: Well that's okay. Good. I'll pick you up there.
L: Okay. Good.
(Rachel walks away.)
LUKE: So what was all about?
L: Oh nothing. We're just gonna go check out this old inn Rachel found.
LUKE: Hmm.
L: What?
LUKE: Nothing. I didn't know you guys were friends.
L: Hm, well we're not really friends. I mean, I don't know her that well. But we're just hanging out. She seems really great.
LUKE: Oh yeah, she is. She's great. She's just, you know, a lot different from you.
L: 'Cause I'm not really great?
LUKE: No, you're great. Just in a different way.
L: In a not really great way?
LUKE: That's not what I meant. The two of you are just completely different people. Both great, but I'm just a little surprised that, you know, you're different types of greatness are, you know, melding and you're comfortably great together.
L: Is this bothering you?
LUKE: This conversation, yes.
L: No. Um, the idea of Rachel and I hanging out together. Is there some reason that's weird for you or something?
LUKE: Why would it be?
L: No reason I can think of.
LUKE: Okay, well then it's not weird.
L: Good, well I was just checking.
LUKE: Okay, well then, you checked.
L: Okay. So are you gonna be pouring that coffee anytime or. . .
LUKE: Oh.
L: I'm glad it's not weird though because . . (Luke overflows her coffee cup.) . . . that would be bad.
LUKE: Oh, I'll get a rag.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
(Lorelai is talking to a group from Japan, while a translator repeats everything she says in Japanese.)
LORELAI: Welcome Ichiro Motors to the Independence Inn. So the dining room is right through there. And breakfast is served 6 to 11:30, although our chef is an amazing overachiever and she'll be happy to prepare you anything you want any time of day. Now your itinerary for the conference will be in each of your rooms. And if you have any questions at all, just please feel free to ask, uh . . . (gestures toward Michel at the counter.)
MICHEL: No. (Michel walks away)
LORELAI: . . . . somebody else. Not him. Okay, so ask Roger. Roger will be happy to help you. Thanks so much.
(Lorelai walks away from the group. She sees Rune sitting on a couch in the lobby. She walks past him hiding her face.)
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN KITCHEN
(Sookie is mixing something. Lorelai walks in.)
L: Rune is in the lobby.
SOOKIE: Lorelai, hello. I made some coffee.
L: Rune is in the lobby.
SOOKIE: Oh, I also made those little orange glazed muffins you like with warm cinnamon butter.
L: Sookie, Rune is in the lobby.
SOOKIE: Uh huh.
L: Why?
SOOKIE: Your muffin's getting cold.
L: My muffin's fine. My muffin wants to know what the fruitcake is doing in the lobby.
SOOKIE: Well, he's staying with Jackson.
L: Again?
SOOKIE: Still.
L: I thought he was only here for a weekend.
SOOKIE: Yes, the lost weekend.
L: Okay. Explain Yoko, because he's out there with the normal people and he's going to scare them
SOOKIE: He won't leave.
L: Jackson's house?
SOOKIE: Yes. Jackson's house. He won't leave and it's driving me crazy.
L: Well tell Jackson to kick him out.
SOOKIE: Jackson won't do it.
L: Why not?
SOOKIE: Because he says it's family and somehow he feels responsible for him.
L: Well, okay yes, but has Jackson met him? I think that would change his mind.
SOOKIE: Apparently, Rune had a rough childhood. His parents don't talk to him, his brothers and sisters don't talk to him, no one talks to him.
L: So, then what's wrong with Jackson?
SOOKIE: I don't know. But he's determined to stand by him and I have to respect his decision.
L: Well, that part I can understand.
SOOKIE: Good.
L: But the part I can't understand is what is Rune doing in the lobby?
SOOKIE: Yeah, well, I don't . . .
(Jackson walks through the door carry a crate of berries and a jar of jam.)
JACKSON: Lorelai.
L: Jackson.
JACKSON: These are for you.
L: For me?
(Sookie stands behind Lorelai and starts waving a spoon back and forth to get Jackson's attention. Jackson doesn't notice.)
JACKSON: Yeah and I also brought some of my raspberry peach jam. I think you're gonna like it. Put it on ice cream.
L: Okay.
JACKSON: Or take a graham cracker, spread a little on it, break up a chocolate bar, throw it in the broiler for a couple of minutes, and you're gonna be singing show tunes all evening.
L: Must be some good jam.
JACKSON: Yeah, well, it's just my way of saying thanks for helping out Rune.
L: Thanks for helping out Rune.
SOOKIE: Okay, I'm doing the spoon signal.
JACKSON: Oh, I didn't notice.
SOOKIE: Okay, I'm waving around like an idiot here.
JACKSON: So you haven't. . .
SOOKIE: No.
JACKSON: Ah.
SOOKIE: Yeah.
JACKSON: So I should . . .
SOOKIE: Good idea.
JACKSON: Right. Um, enjoy the jam. (Jackson leaves)
L: Well, uh, would you mind explaining the thank you jam.
SOOKIE: Well, I was supposed to ask you something about Rune.
L: Like what?
SOOKIE: Well, he just not too long ago lost his job.
L: Oh, attitude problem?
SOOKIE: Something like that.
L: Uh huh.
(Lorelai starts eating the jar of jam with a spoon.)
SOOKIE: Anyway, when he lost his job, he couldn't pay his rent so then he got evicted. None of this was known to us when he came to stay with Jackson. I mean, but this is the situation. So I was thinking that if he could get another job and then he could save up some money and afford his own place and move out, and then I wouldn't end up stabbing him in the neck with a grapefruit spoon.
L: Ouch.
SOOKIE: Its gonna happen.
L: You want me to give him a job?
SOOKIE: Nothing important.
L: Oh good, 'cause I was gonna put him in charge of legal.
SOOKIE: I know it's a lot to ask, but I can't think of anything else.
L: What can he do?
SOOKIE: Lots of things! He's always fiddling around, using screws. Once I saw him use a hammer.
L: A hammer?
SOOKIE: I bet he could be a handyman. You are always looking for a good handyman.
L: Well I couldn't pay him very much.
SOOKIE: Well, that's okay. Maybe he could just work for, uh, room and board.
L: You want him to live here?
SOOKIE: No! Well, what about the old potting shed?
L: The old potting shed? That's where Rory and I lived when she was a baby. It has memories and little rosebud wallpaper. I don't want Boo Radley touching my rosebud wallpaper.
SOOKIE: The job is enough. You're right. He can save up money and eventually move out. I'll just have to deal with it.
L: The potting shed's fine.
SOOKIE: Really?
L: Yes.
SOOKIE: I love you!
L: But I swear to God Sookie, the minute the guests start complaining or disappearing, he's out of there.
SOOKIE: More than fair.
L: Mm, it's really good jam.
(Lorelai hands Sookie the jar of jam.)
SOOKIE: Yeah. It is isn't it?
(Lorelai leaves)
CUT TO OUTSIDE LORELAI'S HOUSE
(Rory is sitting on the porch. Emily pulls up the driveway. Rory walks to her car.)
R: Grandma.
EMILY: Rory, hello. What a lovely day to. . . ugh. (Emily's heel gets caught in the grass.) I guess putting in a walkway never occurred to your mother.
R: Oh actually it occurs to her every day on the way to work. Here. (Rory helps pull her heel out of the grass.)
EMILY: Thank you.
(They start walking towards the house.)
CUT TO INSIDE LORELAI'S HOUSE
(Rory and Emily walk in through the front door.)
R: Are your shoes okay?
EMILY: They're fine. Just a little muddy that's all.
R: Here give 'em. I'll clean them for you.
EMILY: Oh you don't have to do that.
(Rory takes the shoes and walks into the kitchen. Emily follows.)
R: My mom found this great shoe cleaner. It's gets out pretty much anything. Do you want something to drink, there should be some iced tea in the fridge.
EMILY: Iced tea would be nice. (opens fridge) Oh my god. There's nothing in here.
(Rory pours some cleaner on a cloth and starts wiping off Emily's shoes.)
R: I know, it's a little sparse.
EMILY: It's the Grapes of Wrath.
R: Don't worry. We eat fine.
EMILY: No food, no drink. Do you at least have plates?
R: Yes, we have plates.
(Emily pulls a plate out the cabinet.)
EMILY: There are women in bikinis on them.
R: The original Charlie's Angels. It took us years to get a complete set. You can find the Kate Jackson's and the Shelly Hack's pretty easily. Even the Cheryl Ladd's. But the Farrah Fawcett's and the Jacklyn Smith's are a little harder to come by, but still accessible. The real trick however is to find the Tanya Roberts. We have three.
EMILY: You have three Tanya Roberts?
R: Yup.
EMILY: And I was worried, silly me. (She puts the plate away) How are you doing with those shoes?
R: All done. (hands Emily the shoes)
EMILY: That's amazing. What is that you used?
R: I don't know. We got if off one of those late night TV ads. Apparently it also gets rust off nails and hinges, waxes your car perfectly, and weatherproofs windows and doors.
EMILY: Well, isn't that nice?
R: Okay, about today. I think I should just give you the grand tour of the town. So we can start by walking to Kim's Antiques, which takes us by all the good sites.
EMILY: Well, uh, Rory, I don't think I wore the right shoes for the grand tour. Why don't we just drive?
R: You can borrow some of my mom's shoes.
EMILY: Uh, no, I don't think so. Rory hold on a minute.
R: Grandma, you will be missing the true Stars Hollow experience if you don't walk. Trust me.
(Rory starts walking upstairs)
EMILY: All right, but I won't wear anything with rhinestones or zebra stripes or anything that has batteries or that sings or make animal noises or moves on its own.
R: Grandma, I got it.
CUT TO DRAGONFLY
(Lorelai and Rachel are standing in front of an old, rundown building.)
LORELAI: Must have been something when it was all fixed up and nice.
RACHEL: Can I ask what the fascination with this place is?
L: Oh, well, me and my friend Sookie, we've been kind of toying with the idea of opening our own place together.
RACHEL: Really?
L: Yeah. I mean someday, obviously not now. We're still saving up.
RACHEL: Are you close?
L: No, not at all.
RACHEL: Well, this looks like this could be a great place.
L: Yeah it really does. God. A little paint, some pretty curtains, 150 thousand dollars of construction. We're open for business.
RACHEL: Did you always want to own an inn?
L: Uh no, I was still dreaming of owning a red Camaro when Rory appeared on the scene.
RACHEL: Ah. Right
L: It's a new idea in the last couple years actually. How about you? Did you always want to be a photographer?
RACHEL: Not specifically. I just remember growing up thinking I want to be anywhere but here.
L: Ah, that was you in the other room.
RACHEL: I made sure to pick something that would keep me moving, constantly.
L: Sounds exciting.
RACHEL: It is. Tiring too. And now that I'm here, back with Luke, I don't know.
L: Things seem to be going pretty well for you guys.
RACHEL: I guess. But I tell you, these last couple weeks, it's become increasingly apparent to me that things just can't continue the way they've been.
L: What do you mean?
RACHEL: I mean, I think it's time we get serious. I'm ready to settle down, I guess, is the creepy old fashion term for it. Pretty damn scary, huh?
L: Pretty damn scary.
CUT TO SIDEWALK
(Emily and Rory are walking through Stars Hollow.)
EMILY: I feel ridiculous.
R: You look great.
EMILY: I feel like a Clydesdale.
R: You look like you're comfortable.
EMILY: People are staring.
R: Because you look great.
EMILY: Yes, what a shame your grandfather isn't here. He'd fall in love with me all over again.
CUT TO KIM'S ANTIQUES
(Emily and Rory walk in through the front door.)
EMILY: I think we came in through the storeroom.
R: Nope, this is it.
EMILY: This is the antique store?
R: You have to dig but you can find some great stuff here.
EMILY: This is ridiculous. No one can run a quality business like this. This place is dusty and disorganized and you can't possibly. . . . Oh now that is gorgeous. Look at the woodwork. It's exquisite. I wonder if it has mate.
R: Grandma, look at this. It's got like little flowers all over it.
EMILY: It's very pretty.
R: Is it something special?
EMILY: Do you like it?
R: Yeah.
EMILY: Then it's something special.
(Lane walks over.)
LANE: Hi.
R: Lane, this is my grandma. Grandma, this is my friend Lane.
EMILY: Well, I've heard a lot about you.
LANE: It's nice to meet you. Uh, Rory can I talk to you for a sec?
EMILY: Go, talk. I have a lot of looking to do here.
(Rory and Lane walk to the kitchen.)
LANE: Problem.
R: Hit me.
LANE: It's been a week since that party, and still he has not called.
R: Henry.
LANE: He said he'd call.
R: Maybe he's been busy.
LANE: Maybe he has a girlfriend.
R: Lane.
LANE: A tiny perfect Korean girl that his parents would love and approve of.
R: Lane, you are a tiny perfect Korean girl that his parents would love and approve of.
LANE: No, they'd know.
R: Know what?
LANE: Know that I listen to the wrong music and wish I could go blond without looking like an idiot. Or that I'd take a whopper over kimchi in a heartbeat.
R: Now you're just going crazy.
LANE: So he doesn't like me, he's not gonna call. It's not the end of the world. I'll live. I'll go one. There's always college. Unless my parents get their way, and then it's 'I take thee Jesus to be my lawful wedded husband.'
R: Lane, with all due respect to your fiancé, Henry will call.
LANE: No he's not.
R: Well then why did he talk to you all night. .
LANE: Well. .
R: . . and follow you around everywhere you went. .
LANE: 'cause . . .
R: . .and ask you to dance six times?
LANE: Was it six times?
R: It was six times. And he did not ask you to dance six times because you're a good dancer, because to tell you the truth and as much as I love you, you're not.
LANE: Really?
R: You are an embarrassment to the art of dancing.
LANE: Thank you.
MRS. KIM (in background): That's mid nineteenth century, four different kinds of wood.
(Cut to Mrs. Kim and Emily bartering over a cabinet. Lane and Rory watch them from the kitchen.)
EMILY: Is it missing an inlay?
MRS. KIM: No.
EMILY: I thought it was missing an inlay.
MRS. KIM: Perfect condition!
EMILY: How much?
MRS. KIM: Thirty-five hundred for the pair.
EMILY: You must be joking!
MRS. KIM: No. No joke.
EMILY: Well, they're nice, but they're certainly not that nice.
MRS. KIM: Not a better pair on the East Coast.
EMILY: Two thousand.
MRS. KIM: You're from Hartford.
EMILY: Yes.
MRS. KIM: Ah.
EMILY: It hardly matters where I'm from. I know these pieces are overpriced.
MRS. KIM: Look on the bottom.
EMILY: They're not signed.
MRS. KIM: Look on the bottom.
EMILY: Are they signed?
MRS. KIM: Look on the bottom!
(Emily leans down and looks.)
MRS. KIM: They're signed.
EMILY: How do I know that's authentic?
MRS. KIM: You have my word.
EMILY: And a letter of authentication?
MRS. KIM: That too.
LANE (to Rory): It's like watching the Williams' sisters.
R: I wish we had popcorn.
MRS. KIM: . . .Insulting!
EMILY: I won't take it.
MRS. KIM: Then someone else will!
EMILY: Eventually, maybe.
MRS. KIM: I can wait.
EMILY: So can I.
MRS. KIM: That's my last offer.
EMILY: I'll think about it.
MRS. KIM: I'll waive the tax.
EMILY: And throw in delivery.
MRS. KIM: We appreciate your business.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
(Emily and Rory walk out of Kim's Antiques)
EMILY: I like that woman. And you know what? I like these shoes.
R: You're becoming one of us Grandma.
EMILY: This way?
R: Yeah.
EMILY: I love this street.
CUT TO INDEPENDENCE INN
(Michel walks through the lobby as Rune walks through the front door carrying a duffel bag.)
RUNE: Hey.
MICHEL: May I help you?
RUNE: Yeah, I need to know where my room is.
MICHEL: Uh, are you sure you are in the right place? Perhaps you want the YMCA or the local bus station.
RUNE: You speak English?
MICHEL: Do you have a reservation?
RUNE: I work here.
MICHEL: Hm, I do not think so. You see, we have standards, and even if they were much much lower, you would still be poor boy out of luck.
RUNE: I'm the new handyman. Lorelai hired me
MICHEL: Oh, you know Lorelai?
RUNE: I dated her.
MICHEL: Oh you did?
RUNE: Yeah, but hey, don't spread it around, it's not one of my shining moments.
MICHEL: Yeah, and you probably have so many to pick from.
RUNE: You're rude.
MICHEL: You've caught me to the quick, out of here teeny tiny man.
RUNE: Look I will only be pushed so far.
MICHEL: And obviously it's down.
(Lorelai runs over to them.)
LORELAI: Rune, you made it, great.
RUNE: Finally. Will you tell this guy who I am?
L: This is Rune.
MICHEL: You know him?
L: He's gonna be our new handyman.
RUNE: See! Handyman.
MICHEL: Be quiet.
RUNE: Go build us another statue.
MICHEL: You hired this man?
L: Yes.
MICHEL: Did you date him also?
L: What! No, I didn't date him. Rune, I didn't date you. It was one night. .
MICHEL: One night, you and him together?
L: I'll explain later.
MICHEL: Oh, I cannot wait.
L: Yeah. Listen, Rune, here, come with me, I'll show you where you're gonna stay.
RUNE: Can you ask your bellboy here to grab my stuff? I think I might've sprained my shoulder on the way over here.
L: Relax. I got it. (picks up the duffel bag) Uh. Geez. Move it Rune.
(Lorelai and Rune leave. Emily and Rory walk through the front door.)
RORY: So, what do you think?
EMILY: Well, I think it's very nice.
RORY: Mom's office is right back there. Oh and you have to see the dining room. They got the chandeliers from one of Martha Washington's houses.
EMILY: Do you spend a lot of time here?
RORY: Yeah. I work here a couple afternoons a week, and I help out with special occasions. They have a lot of weddings here. I wonder where mom is.
EMILY: Oh, don't bother your mother. I'm sure she's busy.
R: Oh no, she'd want to say hi.
(Rory and Emily walk over to Michel, who is behind the front desk.)
R: Michel, where's Mom?
MICHEL: Off with her boyfriend.
R: What boyfriend?
MICHEL: Small, dark, wanted in four states.
R: Okay, well, do you know when she's coming back because my grandmother's here and we want to say hi.
MICHEL: Your grandmother?
EMILY: Emily Gilmore.
MICHEL: Michel Gerard.
(They shake hands.)
EMILY: Enchantée. D'où venez vous?
MICHEL: Paris.
EMILY: J'adore Paris. Nous y allons chaque printemps.
MICHEL: Oh, oui, le printemps à Paris...
EMILY: Un cliché, mais pourtant...
MICHEL: C'est si vrai, c'est si vrai...
RORY: Okay, well, we better go find mom.
EMILY: It's been a pleasure meeting you.
MICHEL: The pleasure is all mine.
(Emily and Rory walk towards the center of the lobby.)
EMILY: What a charming man.
R: Uh okay. (sees Lorelai ahead) Mom, hi.
L: Mom, hi.
EMILY: Lorelai, it's quite a place you've got here.
L: Oh, well it's not really my place, I just work here, so. . I thought you were gonna go antiquing.
R: Yeah we did. And then we had lunch.
L: Oh, really? Where?
EMILY: Teriyaki Joe's.
L: You're kidding.
R: She picked.
L: You did?
EMILY: It looked festive.
L: I can't picture you at Teriyaki Joe's . . .or in jogging shoes. What's up working girl?
EMILY: Well, Rory decided that we should take the grand tour of the town; that meant walking. I hope you don't mind, I borrowed your socks also.
L: Oh, I don't mind. I wish I had a camera, but I don't mind.
R: I'm gonna go show her the grounds.
L: Oh yeah, good. On the way back, show her the gym. Jump on the treadmill.
R: See you later.
L: Make sure you stretch first.
(Lorelai walks over to the front desk.)
MICHEL: I just love your mother.
CUT TO OUTSIDE
(Rory and Emily are walking along the pond on the inn's grounds.)
RORY: So the horses are up on that hill, and the tennis courts are over there.
EMILY: It's certainly impressive.
(They walk towards the potting shed.)
RORY: And this is my favorite place.
EMILY: The tool shed?
RORY: No, this is where we used to live.
EMILY: What?
R: Right when mom and I moved here, this was our apartment.
EMILY: But. .
(Rory opens the door and walks in. Emily looks in from the doorway.)
R: I know it's looks small, but it's really pretty. Come on. See we had our bed right over there, and mom put up this really pretty curtain around the tub so that it looked like a real bathroom. And we would just sit outside at night when the Inn would have parties and we'd just listen to music and feed the ducks and. . . (Emily walks away) Grandma? Grandma wait, what's the matter?
EMILY: Nothing.
R: Did something happen? Are you sick? Is it the teriyaki?
EMILY: I'm fine. Its just getting late, I have to go.
R: But. . .
(Rory watches as Emily walks away. Rune walks towards the shed carrying some sheets.)
RUNE: Hey. Do you mind?
R: What? Oh sorry. (She moves out of the way so that Rune can go into the shed.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO HALLWAY
(Lorelai walks down a hallway and knocks on a door that says "Williams Hardware, Office, Private". Rachel answers the door.)
RACHEL: Hey! Good, you got my message.
LORELAI: Hail the glory of the answering machine.
RACHEL: Come on in. (Lorelai walks inside) I just developed some shots of the Dragonfly I think you're gonna love. Maybe they can help inspire you a little more.
L: Oh, great! Hm, I've never been in Luke's apartment before.
RACHEL: Really? How long have you two known each other?
L: Oh god, years. But our relationship is strictly "Please can I have coffee?", 'No,', 'Come on!, 'No, it makes you short.' Blah blah blah.
RACHEL: Well, then let me give you the grand tour. This, is it.
L: It's, uh, not how I pictured it. I mean, not that I've been picturing Luke's apartment. I haven't been picturing it at all.
RACHEL: I know what you meant.
(Lorelai walks over to the window and touches the curtains.)
L: Hmm. Nice touch.
RACHEL: Oh, those aren't mine.
L: You're kidding.
RACHEL: Nope. Frankly, a little too frilly for my taste.
L: I'm gonna give him so much crap about that.
RACHEL: Have a seat.
L: Thanks. (sits down on the couch) Man, you guys are living in pretty tight quarters here.
RACHEL: Well this was originally his dad's office, so it was never really meant for anyone to actually live in.
L: But tell that to Luke.
RACHEL: Exactly.
L: Do you think about moving to a bigger place?
RACHEL: I don't think so.
L: No? Oh right. Because tight quarters, romantic. Hello Lorelai.
RACHEL: Yeah, well I don't think romance has a lot to do with it.
L: No?
RACHEL: I'm not sure I'm gonna be in Stars Hollow much longer.
L: Oh. But I thought. . .
RACHEL: I know, I just, I can't seem to make Luke believe that I really want to stay this time.
L: Did you tell him all that stuff you told me?
RACHEL: Till I was blue in the face.
L: Well you just have to keep trying until he hears you.
(Rachel sits down next to Lorelai on the couch.)
RACHEL: Hey, I don't blame him. I've given him no reason to believe me. I just hope that magically somehow he'd, I don't know, forget that I'd skipped out on him a million times before.
L: Have you told him that you're thinking of leaving?
RACHEL: Nope.
L: Are you going to?
RACHEL: I don't know. I mean, I feel like I've been trying so hard to make everything good. But this town, you know, it's like living under a microscope. Everyone here is just waiting for you to screw up.
L: No that's not true.
RACHEL: Miss Patty?
L: Oh, well yeah.
RACHEL: I don't know how long I can stick around here waiting for Luke when I feel like I don't have a friend in the world.
L: Hey, if you can French braid hair, I'll be your friend.
RACHEL: Sorry.
L: Oh, well, see ya.
RACHEL: I cannot find your pictures here. They must be in the bathroom.
L: So do not wanna know why.
(Rachel starts walking towards the bathroom, then stops and turns around.)
RACHEL: Hey, I know this is not so not cool to ask. But if the situation comes up and it's not too weird, a little word of encouragement from you might help a lot.
L: Oh, yeah, sure. If it comes up.
RACHEL: Thanks
(Rachel goes into the bathroom. Luke walks in the front door.)
L: What, you don't knock?
LUKE: What are you doing here?
L: Rachel invited me.
LUKE: Oh.
L: To look at some pictures.
LUKE: Good.
L: Yeah. And go through your underwear drawer.
LUKE: Where is she?
L: Freezing your bra.
LUKE: Where?
L: In the bathroom.
LUKE: Right.
L: It's a nice place you have here.
LUKE: Thank you.
L: I like the curtains.
LUKE: Yeah, yeah, Rachel picked them out.
L: Oh, she's got good taste.
(Rachel comes out of the bathroom)
RACHEL: Oh. Hey.
LUKE: Hi. I just had to put something in the safe.
RACHEL: We were just. . .
L: I told him about the underwear drawer.
RACHEL: And the baseball cap fashion show?
LUKE: Okay. I'm gonna go now.
(Luke leaves.)
L: I think he's going to buy a matching rug.
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
(Lane and Rory are lying on Rory's bed)
RORY: I like this song. It makes me gloomy.
LANE: Gloom is good.
R: Really gloomy.
LANE: Like Joy Division Gloomy? Nick Cave gloomy? Robert Smith gloomy?
R: Johnny Cash gloomy.
LANE: So kind of like a San Quentin-y, it's a long road home and my horse just got shot but I've still got my girl by my side gloomy?
R: You read my mind.
LANE: I'm deep in a Charlie Parker gloomy.
R: Henry still hasn't called?
LANE: Oh no, he called.
R: He did? Why didn't you tell me?
LANE: Well I didn't talk to him. He left a message. I listened to it eight-and-a-half times, but then my mom came home and I had to erase it. But I was so panicked that I broke it, which is better because now all evidence that a boy called me is in the trash.
R: Eight and a half times.
LANE: Well it was a good message the first couple times. Then I started parsing it for subtext.
R: What did he say?
LANE: He said, and I quote, "Hey Lane, it's Henry." Not a good start.
R: How do you figure?
LANE: It's so gender neutral. It's how you start a conversation with a bowling pal.
R: He asked you bowling?
LANE: Then he said "It was fun meeting you the other night."
R: What?
LANE: He didn't say which night. Like he didn't remember which night. Like he's mixing me up with another girl from another night. For all I know, he thought he was calling the hot blonde he met at a hopped up night at Balthazar's.
R: He's a 16 year old Korean boy.
LANE: Or so he led me to believe.
R: What's the bottom line here?
LANE: Okay, the bottom line is that he wants me to call him back. But if I do that then he's probably gonna ask me out on a date. And if we go out on a date then it could lead to another date, and then I'll have to introduce him to my parents. And once I do that, they're gonna like him. Because he's Korean and he's gonna be a doctor. And then once that happens, that's it. It'll be over. He'll be hideous to me. Now I'm a Lou Reed gloomy.
(phone rings. Rory answers it.)
R: Hello?
EMILY: Rory, hello. Do you have a minute?
R: Uh, sure.
EMILY: Now I know this will probably seem silly but I was wondering what your favorite color is.
R: Oh, I don't really have one. Blue I guess.
EMILY: Okay. What about flowers? Do you like flowers?
R: Sure.
EMILY: Which would you say you like better, roses or lilies?
R: Hmm, sunflowers.
EMILY: Sunflowers it is. Now, what about music? N'sync or 98 degrees?
R (to Lane): Uh, N'sync or 98 degrees?
LANE: What kind of sick joke is this?
R: I don't think I could choose.
EMILY: What about that other group? The Backside Boys?
R: You mean the Backstreet Boys?
EMILY: Yes that's it.
R: Um, I guess if I really had to choose, I'd say N'sync.
EMILY: Wonderful.
R: Are you writing this down?
EMILY: Maybe.
R: What for?
EMILY: You'll see. I'm looking forward to dinner on Friday.
R: Okay, yeah, me too.
(hangs up)
R: What was that?
LANE: Sounded like some sick take on the Gallup survey. I gotta go
R: Call him.
LANE: I already left him a message, he's probably parsing it right now.
R: I'm sure.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
(Luke is behind the counter. Lorelai comes down the back steps and walks behind the counter.)
LUKE: Hey.
L: Hey.
LUKE: Want some coffee?
L: Oh, yeah coffee would be great.
(Luke fills up a carryout cup and hands it to her.)
L: Thanks.
LUKE: Watch the lid there.
L: Yeah. Wow, it really looks, um, different from back here, ya know? All this is yours, as far as the eye can see.
LUKE: Yes, it's quite an empire I've built for myself. I'm thinking of conquering the flower shop next door and expanding the freezer.
L: Hey, I didn't mean to kick you out of your own apartment.
LUKE: Oh, you didn't.
L: Well you left pretty fast.
LUKE: Yeah, you guys looks like you were talking girl talk.
L: Girl talk.
LUKE: Yeah.
L: What's girl talk?
LUKE: You know, pantyhose, nail polish.
L: Curtains.
LUKE: Yes. That stuff.
L: You didn't like me being up there?
LUKE: No big deal.
(Luke walks away. Lorelai follows him.)
CUT TO STORAGE ROOM
(Luke is in the storage room unloading boxes. Lorelai walks in.)
L: So, this is the fascinating storage area where fascinating acts of storage take place.
LUKE: Yup, this is it.
L: Some good looking pickles.
LUKE: What are you doing?
L: I'm admiring your pickles.
LUKE: You shouldn't be in here.
L: Why not?
LUKE: 'Cause my insurance covers only me.
L: That's not true. You're kidding right?
LUKE: Its not safe, something might fall.
L: You don't like me hanging out with Rachel do you?
LUKE: Oh, come on.
L: Am I right?
LUKE: You can hang out with anybody you want.
L: Not my question.
LUKE: Well that's my answer.
L: Well, we're eight.
LUKE: Just a friendly piece of advice. Don't get too attached to her.
L: Rachel?
LUKE: Yeah. She's got an interesting habit of getting bored and then leaving, usually without saying goodbye.
L: People break habits.
LUKE: Not often.
L: So you're just convinced that that's what she's gonna do?
LUKE: I'll bet you that's exactly what she does.
L: Well, let's say that is what she does. Don't you think there's the teensiest possibility that if Rachel leaves Stars Hollow this time its because she thinks you don't want her to stay?
LUKE: Are you guys talking about me?
L: No . . . Yes.
LUKE: Okay, I don't mind if you hang out with her, but you will not talk about me.
L: Why? It's fun. We wear plaid, take turns not shaving.
LUKE: There will be no Luke talk period.
L: Do you wanna know what I think about this situation?
LUKE: No.
L: Are you sure?
LUKE: Look, if you're gonna tell me at least help me unload.
L: Can I use the fun cutter thingy?
LUKE: Not if you call it the fun cutter thingy.
L: Please.
LUKE: Cut the box, not your hand.
L: Good tip, you should teach. (cuts open the box) Ha! Fun!
LUKE: Talk.
L: Well, I don't know exactly what's going on in Rachel's head because I'm not a Vulcan, but from the way she talks about you and the way she smiles when your name comes up, I'm pretty sure that she's serious about staying in Stars Hollow this time.
LUKE: Yeah, let me guess. Rachel told you she wanted to put down roots, that she's serious this time, that she's tired of the road, and realizes what's lacking in her nomadic existence.
L: She didn't use the phrase nomadic existence, but basically yes, that's what she said.
LUKE: I've heard the speech. I know the speech by heart.
L: Well, I think she means it this time.
LUKE: You don't know her like I do.
L: I don't. But she seems sincere.
LUKE: How do you know?
L: Her nose didn't grow.
LUKE: Why are you taking her side?
L: I'm not taking her side.
LUKE: Well it sounds like you're taking her side.
L: Well, wash out your ears, I'm not taking her side.
LUKE: I mean you're practically pushing her on me.
L: I just want you to be happy.
LUKE: And you know what makes me happy?
L: No, I just know that you've been carrying a torch for her for a really long time.
LUKE: I have not been carrying a torch for her.
L: Well, you wanted this to happen.
LUKE: How do you know what I wanted to happen?
L: Didn't you?
LUKE: Yeah, I guess.
L: Okay. So here it is, right in front of you. Just take it. Take the plunge. She could be ready. Just jump in and believe her. Unless, you know, there's some other reason you don't want to.
LUKE: Like what?
L: Like I. . . .I don't know.
LUKE: There's no other reason.
L: Okay, well, fine. Then there's no other reason.
LUKE: I'll think about it.
L: Okay. Well, thanks for letting me borrow your thingy.
LUKE: You're welcome.
L: I'll see you later Luke.
(Lorelai leaves.)
CUT TO MOVIE THEATER
(Rory and Lorelai are sitting in the theater, waiting for the movie to start.)
L: She actually asked if you like the Backstreet Boys?
R: Except she called them Backside Boys.
L: Ha! That is high comedy. What inspired that woman?
R: I don't know. It was weird.
L: Sudden interest in pop music I sat her down to listen to a Prince song once, and she looked like she was having a stroke. Wait a minute. I know what she's doing.
R: What?
L: She's trying to be your pal now. Ah, that sneak. You spend one day together and she wants to know all about you. She's picturing you guys chatting about boys, and painting each other's toenails.
(Kirk, sitting behind them, clears his throat loudly. They turn around to look.)
L: Oh hey Kirk. You getting a cold? You know you should try that dinametichemphemital. Knocks it right out. Don't drive a forklift though, 'cause it'll make you drowsy.
(Luke and Rachel walk in holding hands. They sit down in the front row.)
R: Oh wow, when's the last time you think Luke's been to a movie?
L: I don't know but I think the guy had to crank the projector by hand.
KIRK: Do you mind?
(Lorelai turns around)
L: Kirk, the movie hasn't even started yet.
KIRK: I like to have silence in order to cleanse my mental pallet and achieve calm before enjoying a motion picture.
L: Oh you got that out of a book. (Turns around. She watches Luke and Rachel talking.) Luke looks happy, doesn't he?
R: Yeah, he looks happy.
L: And they seem really right together, don't they?
R: Just right.
L: Good, good, he deserves it. So I did the right thing by butting in the way I did.
R: You butted in for all the right reasons. You were concerned about a friend.
(The lights dim and the movie starts.)
L: So if Rachel turns out to be an evil fembot and murders Luke in his sleep, I'm not responsible am I?
R: Only in an intergalactic court.
L: Good. And Rachel seems really great. . .
KIRK: You are now officially disturbing not just me but every person in this theater.
L: Kirk, you're the only one who's disturbed.
(A cell phone goes off. Lorelai looks around and discovers that it's Kirk's. He tries to answer it, but the ringing won't stop.)
L: Uh! Shhh!
KIRK: Hello?
L: Shhh! Shh! God, don't you hate that?
KIRK: Hello? Dammit!
(Kirk runs out of the theater. Lorelai laughs. She sees Luke looking towards her and waves.)
CUT TO ELDER GILMORE RESIDENCE
(Lorelai and Rory ring the doorbell. Emily answers the door.)
EMILY: Hello, hello, hello.
L: Wow, Mom, hi. (to Rory) Uh, check the rubbing alcohol.
EMILY: How was the drive?
L: The drive was fine.
EMILY: Good.
L: The foyer looks great.
EMILY: I have a surprise for you.
L: The rest of the house ran away?
EMILY: No.
L: No.
EMILY: Rory, come with me.
(Emily pulls Rory in and leads her away.)
L: Okay, so, I'll. . . I'll follow you then. Great.
CUT TO UPSTAIRS
(Emily, Rory and Lorelai go into a bedroom, which Emily has redecorated for Rory.)
EMILY: Voila.
R: Oh my. Um Grandma what is this?
EMILY: This is your room.
R: What?
EMILY: Since you've been spending so much time here lately, I thought you should have a special place all your own.
R: But you didn't have to do this.
EMILY: Do you like it?
R: Yeah, it's beautiful.
L: (whispers to Rory) Do you see the N'Sync poster?
R: Thank you Grandma. (hugs Emily)
EMILY: You're welcome sweetheart. Now come on, lets go downstairs and see if dinner's ready. (Rory leaves.) (To Lorelai) Are you coming?
L: You bought her CosmoGirl.
EMILY: Well the young girls enjoy the articles.
L: You bought boy band posters and Hello Kitty notepads.
EMILY: A lovely young girl at the store helped me pick them out.
L: You filled the room with sunflowers.
EMILY: Rory likes sunflowers.
L: I know Rory likes sunflowers.
EMILY: What is the matter Lorelai?
L: Nothing. I don't know. It's just a little weird that's all.
EMILY: Why is it weird to do something for my granddaughter?
L: I don't know. I mean, it's not like you bought her a car. By the way, don't. It's a room and . . .you know, you're right. It's nice. I'm sorry. I'm just being silly.
EMILY: Maybe you don't like the fact that now she has a place away from you, some place that's just her own.
L: I said I was fine.
EMILY: Or maybe its because its so large and spacious and has four solid walls around the bathtub.
L: What?
EMILY: I mean, it may not be exciting or bohemian, but at least it doesn't have shovels propped up against the sofa either, now does it?
L: I'm sorry. I missed the checkered flag, when did the argument start?
EMILY: Is it because it's not a shack in the woods? Or is it the proximity to me that's making it so uncomfortable for you?
L: What are you talking about?
EMILY: You hated us that much?
L: What?
EMILY: You had to take that little girl away. That was bad enough. But to that? To live there, in a shed, like a hobo?
L: Who uses the word hobo anymore?
EMILY: I saw it. I saw that horrible little pit you so proudly ran to. I saw what you chose over your own family. You would've lived in the gutter, in the street, it a cardboard box, anywhere as long as you didn't have to be near us, isn't that true?
L: Mom. .
EMILY: Isn't that true Lorelai?
L: Mom, I was very young and I was very unhappy and I needed to be some place that wasn't here.
EMILY: Excuse me. (Emily, holding back tears, leaves. After a pause, Lorelai slowly starts to walk out.)
CUT TO STREET
(Later that night, Rory and Lorelai are walking along a sidewalk in Stars Hollow.)
R: You're awfully quiet.
L: I am.
R: You hardly said anything at dinner.
L: I was chewing.
R: You didn't say anything on the ride home.
L: I was concentrating.
R: So. .
L: Well, I feel I've gotten sloppy with this whole "10 and 2" hand position thing.
R: Mm hmm.
L: Yeah seriously, the other day I caught myself doing a "9 and 4."
R: Mom. .
L: Well, if left uncorrected, that can only lead to a "6 and 12", or worse yet, an "8 and 11", which is not only dangerous but damn uncomfortable.
R: Talk please.
L: I just wish sometimes that certain things could be different.
R: Like what?
L: Like, um, wouldn't it be great if once, just once, I could make my mother hear me. I mean really hear me even if it was just for one second.
R: Are you talking about the room?
L: The room, the potting shed, my entire life after age 6.
R: It's my fault.
L: How is it your fault?
R: I shouldn't have taken her there.
L: Oh Rory.
R: I just thought if she saw how we lived and how pretty it was with the lake and the swans. . .
L: That she'd do a happy dance?
R: That she'd feel included and then maybe . .
L: The whole me running away thing wouldn't be such a big deal? Oh honey, me running away from them is always gonna be a big deal. There is nothing you can do to change that.
R: Can I ask you a question?
L: Yes, I would date Steven Tyler.
R: Can I ask you a question whose answer wouldn't horrify me?
L: Oh, go ahead.
R: Do you think you and Grandma will ever be able to talk about all the things you've gone through?
L: No.
R: You didn't even consider it.
L: I'm sorry. . . . No.
R: Why?
L: Because it would just end badly.
R: It doesn't have to.
L: It would be like the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan but at least those guys got to be in France.
R: You've never tried.
L: Oh no, that's not true. I have tried. I have tried my whole life. But my mother and I, we speak a different language. I talk, I think I'm being clear, and all she hears is 'Blah blah blah Ginger.'
R: But if you won't talk and she won't listen, then how is anything ever gonna change?
L: I don't know.
(They walk into Luke's Diner.)
CUT TO INSIDE LUKE'S DINER
(Rachel and Luke are cleaning up as Rory and Lorelai walk through the door. A man holds open the door for them.)
L: (to man) Thanks. (to Luke) Don't tell me you're closed?
LUKE: Would it change the outcome if I did?
L: No.
LUKE: Two coffees.
R: Yes please.
RACHEL: Any pie to go with that?
L: Oh, pie!
R: We just had cake at Grandma's.
L: Yeah, but that was crabby cake, let's have happy pie.
R: Have whatever you want as long as there's coffee.
LUKE: I'll put on a fresh pot.
(Luke goes to make the coffee. Rory follows him. Lorelai sits at a table. Rachel walks over to her and sits down.)
RACHEL: Hey, listen, I just wanna say thanks.
L: Oh, for what?
RACHEL: For whatever it was you said to Luke the other day.
L: It was no big deal.
RACHEL: It was a very big deal. I was sitting upstairs and suddenly he comes in, empties out his sock drawer and gives it to me.
L: Oh that's great. You got a drawer.
RACHEL: And a set of keys.
L: Well you can put the keys in the drawer.
RACHEL: He's accepting it. He's believing it. And it's all because of you.
L: Actually, it's because of you.
RACHEL: I'm not gonna screw it up this time.
L: I know you won't.
RACHEL: Well I owe you one. (gets up and starts to walk away)
L: So you're gonna be in Stars Hollow for awhile then?
RACHEL: Yeah, quite awhile.
L: Wow, that's great.
RACHEL: Yeah. You want any ice cream with that pie?
L: Well I did get you a drawer.
RACHEL: If I throw in a little hot fudge, you think you can weasel me half the closet?
L: I'll see what I can do.
RACHEL: Thank you.
(Rachel walks to the counter. Rory returns with two cups of coffee.)
R: Here.
L: Ah thanks.
R: Sure.
(They both take sips.)
R: Huh. Does it taste different to you?
L: Yeah. It does.
(Lorelai looks over to the counter. She watches Luke and Rachel smiling at each other.)
CUT TO DRAGONFLY INN
(Rory and Lorelai are sitting on a blanket in front of the old inn.)
L: So what do you think?
R: It's got a great view.
L: Yeah. And good highway access.
R: I love that window back in the . . .
L: Library? Oh no, lobby. No, uh, bathroom?
R: I'd get that decided before you open.
(Cut to Sookie is standing on the front porch.)
SOOKIE: There's absolutely no kitchen space here. How are we supposed to open a bed and breakfast when there's no place to cook breakfast! It's just a bed. We'll have to charge half price.
L: We'll build a new kitchen Sookie.
SOOKIE: I'll need plenty of ventilation. And an area for an outdoor fireplace for barbecues. Plus storage. Where do these people put anything? Ooh! And a pantry. And a canning room. And I'd love to smoke our own meats.
L: Absolutely.
SOOKIE: I don't know if this is gonna work. I mean, I have to do some floor plans. Where is that plumbing? (Sookie walks away)
R: Wow, your own inn.
L: Cool, huh?
R: It's gonna be a really big job.
L: Yeah. Well, maybe I'll get Rune to manage the place for me.
R: How's he doing?
L: He put a tip jar on the reservation desk.
R: Ah.
L: Michel tried to beat him senseless with the reservation book.
R: Yeah, how did that go?
L: Oh, Rune got away.
R: Really?
L: Well Michel can't run in new shoes.
R: So how long you think before you guys own this place?
L: Oh sweetie, it's going to be a very very very long time.
R: You think it'll still be here?
(The front screen door falls down)
L: I think we got a shot.
|
Plan: A: Rachel; Q: Who asks Lorelai to put in a good word for her with Luke? A: love; Q: What does Lorelai and Sookie fall with the abandoned inn? A: Lorelai and Rachel; Q: Who spends the afternoon getting to know each other? A: Stars Hollow; Q: Where does Rory take Emily on a tour? A: Lorelai and Rory's first home; Q: What does Emily see that upsets her? A: Sookie's urging; Q: What causes Lorelai to give Rune a job? A: the Inn; Q: Where does Lorelai give Rune a job? Summary: Rachel finds an abandoned inn that Lorelai and Sookie fall in love with; Lorelai and Rachel spend the afternoon getting to know each other and Rachel asks Lorelai to put in a good word for her with Luke; as Rory takes Emily on a tour of Stars Hollow, Emily hits it off with Mrs. Kim and Michel, but becomes distraught when she sees Lorelai and Rory's first home; at Sookie's urging, Lorelai gives Jackson's cousin, Rune, a job at the Inn.
|
Clarke: I was born in space. I've never felt the sun on my face or breathed real air or floated in the water. None of us have. For three generations, the Ark has kept what's left of the human race alive, but now our home is dying, and we are the last hope of mankind, A hundred prisoners sent on a desperate mission to the ground. Each of us is here because we broke the law. On the ground, there is no law. All we have to do is survive, but we will be tested by the Earth, by the secrets it hides, and most of all by each other.
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Jackson: We know they've landed, but communications are down.
Clarke: This wristband transmits your vital signs to the Ark. Take them off, and Ark will think we're dying.
Bellamy: That's the point. They've dumped you down here like lab rats to die, so why are you helping them?
Abby: Chancellor's been shot.
Guard: We have I.D.ed the shooter... Bellamy Blake.
Bellamy: I did something they will kill me for when they come down.
Clarke: Do you see that peak over there? That's Mount Weather. There's a radiation-soaked forest between us and our next meal.
Jasper: We did it!
Clarke: We are not alone.
Finn: Clarke! Come on.
( Grunts )
Finn: Monty. Come on! We got to go!
Octavia: Monty, get up!
Finn: Who are they?
( Crows squawking )
Finn: What are they?
Octavia: We are so screwed.
( Distant scream )
Clarke: Jasper. He's alive.
Finn: Clarke, wait. Wait! Wait. Stay out of the trees.
Clarke: He was right there.
Monty: No. Where is he?
Clarke: They took him.
( Equipment buzzing )
( Metal clanging )
Abby: Talk to me, Jackson.
Jackson: Rumors are spreading. Witnesses saw a dropship launch. It's only a matter of time till the people figure out that we sent the hundred to the ground.
Abby: Let the council worry about the people. I need you focused on reestablishing communication with those kids. How many dark tiles?
Jackson: Twenty-three. We've been losing them at a steady rate all day. Abby, these are different. Vital signs spike for a longer duration before flat line; It looks like a pain response. This is what we'd expect to see with exposure to radiation.
Abby: I know what it looks like, Jackson, but there's another explanation. We just haven't found it yet.
male: Chancellor on deck.
Jaha: My son. We sent them down to die.
Abby: No. We sent them down to live... To go to Earth to see if it was survivable so that all of us could live.
Jaha: Abby, stop. I know this is hard, but we don't have time for false hope. This space station is dying, and Earth is not survivable. That is what the wristbands are telling us.
Abby: We don't know what they're telling us yet. Thelonious, listen to me. Please trust me. For all we know, those kids could be perfectly fine, including Wells.
( Sighs )
( Kids clamoring )
( Distant drums beating )
Get him! Way to go!
( Grunts )
I got it, I got it! Dude, get back here! Move! Take it! See? Ha ha!
Murphy: Hey, where'd you get the clothes?
Wells: Buried the two kids who died during the landing.
Murphy: Smart. You know, I'll take it from here.
Wells: There's always a market for...
Murphy: We share based on need, just like back home. You still don't get it, do you, Chancellor? This is home now. Your father's rules no longer apply. Oh, no, no, Atom. Atom, hold up. You want it back? Take it.
Delinquent: Get those boots!
Wells: Is this what you want? Chaos?
Murphy: What's wrong with a little chaos?
( Girl screams )
( Girl whimpers )
Atom: Bellamy. Check it out. We want the Ark to think that the ground is killing us, right? Figure it'll look better if we suffer a little bit first.
Wells: Let her go! You can stop this.
Atom: Stop this? I'm just getting started.
boy: Fight!
( Kids chanting, "fight!" )
Wells: Don't you see you can't control this?
Atom: You're dead.
Bellamy: Wait. Fair fight.
( Kids murmuring )
Wells: Aah!
Atom: This is for my father!
Wells: Drop it!
Clarke: Wells! Let him go!
Murphy: Whoa! Hey!
Clarke: Enough, Murphy.
Bellamy: Octavia. Are you all right?
Octavia: Yeah.
Bellamy: Where's the food?
Octavia: We didn't make it to Mount Weather.
Bellamy: What the hell happened out there?
Clarke: We were attacked.
Bellamy: Attacked? By what?
Finn: Not what. Who. It turns out, when the last man from the ground died on the Ark, he wasn't the last Grounder.
Clarke: It's true. Everything we thought we knew about the ground is wrong. There are people here, survivors. The good news is, that means we can survive. Radiation won't kill us.
Finn: Yeah, the bad news is the Grounders will.
Bellamy: Where's the kid with the goggles?
Clarke: Jasper was hit. They took him. Where is your wristband?
Bellamy: Ask him.
Clarke: How many?
Murphy: Twenty-four and counting.
Clarke: You idiots. Life support on the Ark is failing. That's why they brought us down here. They need to know the ground is survivable again, and we need their help against whoever is out there. If you take off your wristbands, you're not just killing them. You're killing us!
Bellamy: We're stronger than you think. Don't listen to her. She's one of the privileged. If they come down, she'll have it good. How many of you can say the same? We can take care of ourselves. That wristband on your arm? It makes you a prisoner. We are not prisoners anymore! They say they'll forgive your crimes. I say you're not criminals! You're fighters, survivors! The Grounders should worry about us!
Delinquent: Yeah!
( Clamoring continues )
Finn: What do we do now?
Clarke: Now we go after Jasper.
Jaha: Why are you here, Abby? We both know that you could have sent an apprentice to do this.
( Exhales )
Abby: Kane's planning a secret council meeting to vote on the culling. I need to know where you stand.
Jaha: I don't have a vote. You know that.
Abby: They listen to you, Thelonious.
Jaha: Well, you don't.
Abby: I do when you agree with me.
Jaha: Now, Abby, the CO2 scrubbers are already failing. The symptoms of oxygen deprivation are everywhere, and worst of all in the children; They'll die first.
Abby: You don't have to tell me that.
Jaha: Obviously I do. Unless we act to reduce the population, everyone on-board this space station will be dead in four months.
Abby: We have acted. We put a hundred kids on the ground. We need to give them time...
Jaha: There are seventy-six kids on the ground, Abby. Twenty-four of them, including my son, are already dead.
Abby: I don't think so.
Jaha: But you have no proof. Please... Stop. I understand your need to have hope for Clarke, but I am the Chancellor of the Ark, and hope isn't enough. Not when the end of the human race is at stake.
( Knock on door )
Kane: You wanted to see me?
Abby: Hope is everything, and the Chancellor that I voted for, he knew that. I'm done here.
( Sighs )
Jaha: Stop studying me, Kane. Who shot me?
Kane: Bellamy Blake, a janitor from Factory Station. He stowed away on the dropship. We're still investigating who helped him.
Jaha: Who benefits most from my death?
Kane: If you have something to say, just say it.
Jaha: You rushed to execute the woman who saved my life, and if I were dead, you would be Chancellor now and Abby wouldn't be here to oppose you.
Kane: I followed the law. I did my job.
Jaha: You were the acting Chancellor, and this job requires more than simply following the law. It requires knowing when not to.
Kane: I had nothing to do with the attempt on your life, but I'm not surprised that it happened. You're too weak to do what now has to be done, and I'm not the only one who knows it.
( Door closes )
( Panting )
( Door opens )
Wells: There you are. When my father said they didn't leave us anything, he really meant it.
( Sighs )
Wells: ( Sighs ) "It's just a scratch.
Clarke: You're making friends fast. Keep it covered. It could get infected. Nice pack.
Wells: Yeah, seat belts and insulation. I also packed part of the parachute, figured we could use it to carry out Jasper.
Clarke: Good. Give it to someone else. You're not coming with us.
Wells: My ankle's fine.
Clarke: It's not your ankle, Wells, it's you.
Wells: You came back for reinforcements. I'm gonna help.
Finn: Clarke, he's right. We need him. So far no one else has volunteered.
Clarke: I'm sorry, Monty, but you're not going, either.
Monty: Like hell I'm not. Jasper's my best friend.
Clarke: You're too important. You were raised on Farm Station and recruited by engineering.
Monty: So?
Clarke: So food and communication. What's up here, it's gonna save us all. You figure out how to talk to the Ark and I'll bring Jasper back. Hey. You ready?
Finn: I'm not going anywhere, and neither should any of you. That spear was thrown with pinpoint accuracy from 300 feet.
Clarke: So what, we let Jasper die? That's not gonna happen. Spacewalker? What a joke. You think you're such an adventurer. You're really just a coward.
Finn: It's not an adventure, Clarke, it's a suicide mission. Build a wall. Use the fallen trees.
Bellamy: I'll watch out for her.
Clarke: Jasper looked up to you.
( Groans )
Bellamy: What the hell was it?
Octavia: I don't know. The others said it looked like a giant snake.
Bellamy: You could have been killed.
Clarke: She would have been if Jasper didn't jump in to pull her out.
Octavia: You guys leaving? I'm coming, too.
Bellamy: No, no. No way. Not again.
Clarke: He's right. Your leg's just gonna slow us down.
Atom: I'm here for you.
Bellamy: Clarke, what are you doing?
Clarke: I hear you have a gun. Good. Follow me.
Bellamy: And why would I do that?
Clarke: Because you want them to follow you, and right now, they're thinking only one of us is scared.
Bellamy: Murphy. Come with me. Atom? My sister doesn't leave this camp. Is that clear?
Octavia: I don't need a babysitter.
Bellamy: Anybody touches her, they answer to me.
Octavia: Let's go.
Atom: You're staying here.
Octavia: I'm gonna make your life a living hell.
Bellamy: Those guys aren't just bullies, Clarke. They're dangerous criminals.
Clarke: I'm counting on it.
Bellamy: Since when are we in the rescuing business, huh? The Ark thinks the prince is dead. Once they think the princess is, too, they'll never come down. I'm getting that wristband, even if I have to cut off her hand to do it.
Guard: Damn it, Raven. Wait for pressurization.
Raven: ( Sighs ) "Sorry, boys. Places to go. Did anyone notice there's no damage to 'B' dock?
Guard: 'B' dock's restricted. You know that.
Raven: What, are they gonna float me for looking? Guys, come on. An Exodus ship was launched. You're not curious about that?
Guard: It was not launched. It was ejected. According to engineering, a routine maintenance accident forced them to eject.
Raven: A maintenance accident that didn't cause any damage? That's a lie and you know it. Fine. Well, if that doesn't stir your tank, how about this? Why would they build a dropship in the first place?
Guard: Just slow down, all right? We need to check your vitals.
Raven: I'll save you the trouble. I feel good.
Guard: Prison visiting day. Tell lover boy I'll pay him the two days' rations I owe him when he gets out.
Raven: It was three days. Hey, stash my gear. I'll come back for it later.
Guard: Okay, Raven, stop. Lockup's been quarantined. There's some kind of a virus. There's no visitation for at least two months. Sorry.
( Overlapping chatter )
Octavia: Hey, I saw that. You cheated.
Atom: Hey, guys, the wall's not gonna build itself.
Octavia: Walls won't stop what's out there. We need weapons.
Atom: So build weapons. Look... Your brother wasn't kidding about that. He'll hurt them.
Octavia: Come on. We were just talking. You're too hot to be my brother's bitch.
Atom: I'm no one's bitch.
Octavia: Mmm. Good. Then prove it. Come with me.
Delinquent: Hey. Oof!
Atom: Get out of here.
Octavia: Nobody's bitch, huh? Maybe one of these days you'll realize you can't control me.
Atom: You know, that guy you were with? Did you know he was in for murder? You want to know something funny? I'm actually protecting him from you.
Octavia: Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?!
Atom: Consider yourself controlled.
Octavia: Is this all you got? They locked me under the floor for sixteen years just for being born! This is nothing.
Monty: Ahem. You want to keep it down? I'm trying to concentrate.
Female: Attention. The mess hall will be closed from 2100 hours to 0800 hours for maintenance. Attention. The mess hall will be closed from 2100 hours...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jackson: Abby... Kane's lobbying for votes. We should, too.
( Beeping )
Abby: We'll have our chance at the briefing.
Raven: Excuse me! Dr. Griffin. I have a question about the quarantine. My boyfriend's in lockup. I went to go see him. Instead, I saw an open air duct. Now, if there really was a virus, wouldn't you move to contain the airflow?
Abby: The virus isn't airborne. That's why the ducts are open.
Raven: Can you tell me if he's okay?
Abby: I can't. I'm sorry.
Raven: No, you're not. First the dropship, now this. The council's hiding something, and I'm gonna find out what it is.
Jackson: Ballsy kid.
Abby: Yeah.
Jackson: Reminds me of someone.
Bellamy: Hey, hold up. What's the rush? You don't survive a spear through the heart.
Clarke: Put the gun away, Bellamy.
Bellamy: Well, why don't you do something about it, huh?
Clarke: Jasper screamed when they moved him. If the spear struck his heart, he'd have died instantly. It doesn't mean we have time to waste.
Bellamy: As soon as you take this wristband off, we can go.
Clarke: The only way the Ark is gonna think I'm dead is if I'm dead. Got it?
Bellamy: Brave princess.
Finn: Hey, why don't you find your own nickname?
Bellamy: You call this a rescue party? Got to split up, cover more ground. Clarke, come with me.
Clarke: Better late than never.
Bellamy: I like to think so."
Murphy: Guess we got more in common than meets the eye, huh?
Wells: We have nothing in common.
Murphy: No? Both came down here to protect someone we love. Your secret's safe with me. 'course, for you it's worse. With Finn around, Clarke doesn't even see you. It's like you're not even here.
Wells: He may not be my real brother... ( Grunts )... But he's always been there. Every memory I have, there's Jasper. I should be out there.
Murphy: You're not gonna cry, are you?
Wells: Shut up.
( Giggles )
Monty: You sure about this? Your brother won't approve of you helping us contact the Ark.
Octavia: He's not my keeper. Let's just do this. Let's do it. ( Grunts ) Aah! Ow! Son of a...
Monty: Sorry. Dead.
Octavia: Oh.
Monty: Damn it.
Octavia: If we can't even take it off, how do you expect to turn it into a radio?
( Hatch door clangs )
Monty: Go on. I'll be fine. Work to do.
Octavia: Hey, Monty? Jasper would understand why you stayed.
Atom: How is someone raised beneath the floor not a total basket case?
Octavia: ( Scoffs ) "Who says I'm not?
Atom: It's because he loves you. Your brother? You're not a basket case because you were loved.
Octavia: Yeah, I'm a lucky girl.
Atom: I'm not saying I had it worse than you, Octavia, because I didn't. But you have someone who would do anything for you. I envy that.
Finn: I've been thinking about Mount Weather. How come they didn't attack until Jasper crossed the river? It's not like we were being quiet and they didn't know we were there.
Clarke: They waited for us to cross. The river's a boundary. Which means Mount Weather is off limits. ( Scoffs ) How are we gonna get those supplies? What are we gonna do for food?
Finn: Wow.
Clarke: Well, at least we don't have to worry about water.
Finn: Oh, yeah.
Clarke: Come on, Finn. We don't have time for this.
Finn: Clarke, we've been hiking for hours. We need to take a break.
Clarke: I'll take a break when we find Jasper. Come on. ( Gasps ) No, no. Finn! Don't! ( Gasps ) Damn it, Finn! Oh, wow. Okay. Maybe just a minute.
Finn: Yeah. I think I know why you're so hell-bent on finding Jasper, why you're always taking care of everybody else.
Clarke: ( Scoffs ) "Now you sound like my mother. No. Go on. This should be good. The delinquent psychiatrist.
Finn: You couldn't save your father.
Clarke: Jasper. He was here. We should get the others.
Finn: We're close.
Jackson: Abby, we have to stop. The council vote's in thirty minutes.
Abby: Then we have thirty minutes. Anything from engineering?
Jackson: Nothing good. According to Sinclair, even if we sent a signal down, the wristbands weren't designed to receive, so the kids wouldn't even hear it.
Abby: There's got to be something we missed, something that we haven't thought of.
( Clang )
Jackson: Great. What's falling apart now?
( Beeps )
Abby: Hey! Hey! Apparently you have a thing for air ducts.
Jackson: I'll call security.
Raven: They're not dying.
Abby: What are you talking about?
Raven: All that's being sent from the ground? Transmitted by these. They're taking them off.
Jackson: What? Why would they do something so reckless?
Raven: Because we told them not to.
( Distant, overlapping chatter )
Octavia: Hello, beautiful. Hey, where are you going? ( Giggles ) ( Octavia giggles ) It's okay. We've got nothing but time.
Wells: Hey, how do we know this is the right way?
Bellamy: We don't. Spacewalker thinks he's a tracker.
Wells: It's called Fourth-year earth skills. He's good.
Finn: You want to keep it down or should I paint a target on your backs?
Bellamy: See? You're invisible.
( Distant moan )
Finn: What the hell was that?
Clarke: Now would be a good time to take out that gun.
( Low moaning )
Clarke: Jasper. Oh, my God.
Finn: Clarke, be careful.
Clarke: Jasper? What the hell is this?
Finn: Clarke! Get her up! Pull her up! Pull her up! Get her! Pull her up! You okay?
Clarke: Yeah. ( Panting ) We need to get him down.
Murphy: I'll climb up there and cut the vines.
Finn: Yeah, yeah, I'm with you.
Bellamy: No. Stay with Clarke. And watch him. You. Let's go.
Clarke: There's a poultice on his wound.
Finn: Medicine? Why would they save his life just to string him up as live bait?
Bellamy: Maybe what they're trying to catch likes its dinner to be breathing.
Clarke: Maybe what they're trying to catch is us.
Abby: Data indicates that the violent criminals in the group are eight times more likely to have terminated signals. We believe that this means that the kids are taking off the wristbands by choice.
Kane: So how do you explain Wells?
Jaha: Kane is right. My son would... Never take his wristband off voluntarily.
Abby: Both our children have done things that we could never have predicted.
Jaha: The point holds.
Abby: These children need more time.
Kane: We don't have time. Engineering needs six months to fix life support, and we'll be out of oxygen in four. Nobody wants to do this, but the inescapable fact is that for every day we delay, ten more people will need to be sacrificed. So today it's two hundred and nine, tomorrow it's two hundred and nineteen. The day after that is two hundred and twenty nine. We're the ones who need more time. I move that we vote now.
I second that. Very well.
Councillor: The matter before us requires a four-vote majority to pass. A vote in favor is to vote to cull two hundred and nine citizens of the Ark from the supply grid in order to extend life support for those who remain by six months. All those in favor? Aye. Aye. Aye.
Councillor: All those opposed? Nay. Nay. Nay.
Councillor: Three votes to three. The Chancellor will break the tie.
Jaha: ( Sighs ) We didn't ask for this. Ours was to be a transitional generation... Ensuring that three generations from now mankind could go home. But everything has changed, and we will either be the generation that sees the human race return to Earth, or upon whose watch it finally ends. My son is already down there. I sent him. And the truth is I don't know if he is alive or dead. But I still have hope.
councilor: How does the Chancellor vote?
Jaha: I don't.
Councillor: Sir, if you abstain, the vote ends in a tie to be automatically taken up again in ten days.
Kane: That's ten more dead for every day.
Councillor: I ask again, how does the Chancellor vote?
Jaha: The Chancellor abstains.
( Door opens )
Jaha: You have ten days.
Finn: Hurry up, Murphy.
Clarke: Be careful.
( Distant growling )
Wells: What the hell was that?
Finn: Grounders?
( Snarling )
Clarke: Bellamy, gun!
( Gunfire )
( Roars )
( Gunshot )
( Gun clicking repeatedly )
( Panting )
Finn: Now she sees you.
Raven: Did someone call for a mechanic? You're the one who called in the work order?
Abby: We need to talk.
Raven: Look, I told you I'm not gonna say anything, okay?
Abby: I believe you, and you're not in trouble. Follow me.
Raven: Not in trouble yet, you mean.
Abby: ( Sighs )
Raven: This level's off limits for people like me.
Abby: Not anymore. You know that we sent the hundred down to the ground. What you don't know is why. The Ark is dying, Raven. Life support is on its last legs. I have ten days to prove that Earth is survivable or they're gonna start reducing population. Three hundred and twenty innocent people will be killed.
Raven: I don't get it. Why are you telling me this?
Abby: I looked up your file. You're the youngest zero-g mechanic on the Ark in fifty years.
Raven: Fifty-two, but, so what? So...
Abby: You have nine days to get this ready so I can survive a drop.
Raven: God, what a piece of junk. They must have found this thing when they salvaged Mir-3 in twenty one oh two. You want me to get a hundred-and-thirty-year-old escape pod ready to stand up to the inferno of re-entry in nine days?
Abby: Can you do it or not?
Raven: Hell, yes, I can do it, but I'm going with you. You're not the only one with someone you love on the ground. Those are my terms. Take it or leave it.
Abby: All right. You can come with me.
Raven: You got yourself a mechanic.
( Distant, overlapping chatter )
Boy: They're back!
Over there.
( Kids murmuring )
Is he...
Clarke: He's alive. I need boiled water and strips of cloth for bandage.
( Murmuring continues )
Oh! Oh, ho ho!
Bellamy: Who's hungry?! Yeah!
( Kids cheering )
Bellamy! Whoo!
♪ Love, I have wounds ♪ ♪ Some day you can mend ♪ ♪ You can mend ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I guess that's love ♪ ♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ Feel, my skin is rough ♪ ♪ But it can be cleansed ♪ ♪ It can be cleansed ♪
( Alarm blaring )
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ And my arms are tough ♪ ♪ But they can be bent ♪ ♪ They can be bent ♪ ♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪ ♪ And I want to fight ♪ ♪ But I can't contend... ♪
Clarke: He's stable for now, but without medicine... They're taking off their wristbands for food? No way. I... I won't do it.
Finn: You don't have to.
♪ ... I can't pretend ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
Bellamy: Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait. What, you think you play by different rules?
Finn: I thought there were no rules. Hey. ♪ Oh, feel our bodies grow ♪
Bellamy: Atom! ♪ And our souls, they blend ♪
Bellamy: Come on. We're on first watch.
♪ Yeah, love, I hope you know ♪ ♪ How much my heart depends ♪
Atom: Guys, you're not just gonna leave me here.
Bellamy: No, Atom. I won't be disobeyed.
♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ I can't pretend... ♪
Atom: Guys! ♪ I guess that's love ♪
Atom: Bellamy! Guys! Bellamy!
♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ I guess that's love ♪ ♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ I can't pretend ♪ ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
|
Plan: A: Chancellor Jaha recovers; Q: Who recovers? A: Wells' supposed fate; Q: What does Chancellor Jaha learn about his son? A: Abby; Q: Who recruits Raven to fix a drop pod? A: a zero-gravity mechanic; Q: What is Raven's occupation? A: a drop pod; Q: What does Abby fix to send herself to the ground? A: Earth; Q: Where are the 100? A: Clarke; Q: Who is the main character? A: Jasper; Q: Who was taken by the grounders? A: a tree; Q: What was Jasper tied to? A: a panther; Q: What animal did the 100 kill? A: Bellamy forces; Q: Who forces the 100 to trade their wristbands for food? A: a figure; Q: What watches the 100 from above the camp? A: the camp; Q: Where do the 100 return to with Jasper? Summary: Chancellor Jaha recovers and learns of his son Wells' supposed fate on the ground. Abby recruits Raven, a zero-gravity mechanic, to fix a drop pod to send herself to the ground. Meanwhile on Earth, Clarke, Wells, Murphy, and Bellamy set out to rescue Jasper, who was taken by the grounders after being attacked. They find Jasper tied to a tree and manage to return to camp with him, in addition to a panther they killed prior his rescue. Bellamy forces the 100 to trade their wristbands for food. Clarke and Finn manage to keep them. As the Ark watches more wristbands going offline believing they are dying, a figure watches the 100 from above the camp.
|
THE WEB PLANET
BILL STRUTTON
5:40pm - 6:05pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: EXT. VORTIS
(IAN is pulled into the cleft as the roof collapses ...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. CHAMBER
(IAN and VESTRIN lie at the base of the chasm that they have fallen into. Their landing place is a rock chamber whose walls are covered with primitive decorations. IAN coughs in the dust.)
VRESTIN: It seemed as if we fell a long, long way.
IAN: Yeah, (He shakes his head.) oh, ah ...
(He sees the wall decorations.)
IAN: Oh look. Where are we?
(Before they can move, they find themselves surrounded by several small beings who carry sharp crystalline spears...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: EXT. CRATER OF NEEDLES
(The Crater of Needles is, as its name implies, a huge depression in the surface of Vortis. Its floor is covered with tall thin rock formations. Around the base of these needles grows a dark vegetation, rather like seaweed, that is being collected by wingless Menoptra slaves under the guard of the ZARBI and their larvae guns. BARBARA, struggling in the thin atmosphere, is here with HROSTAR. Exhausted, she sits down.)
HROSTAR: You are breathing too fast, Harbara?
BARBARA: (Rubbing her eyes.) Oh, my eyes are so sore. Everything seems to...to flare when I look at it.
HROSTAR: It is...the atmosphere of this planet. Rest, I will watch for Zarbi.
(BARBARA gets her breath, then looks at HROSTAR with concern and sympathy.)
BARBARA: Are your wings healed?
HROSTAR: (With sadness.) I...shall never fly again.
BARBARA: No...
(HROSTAR, upset, turns away. BARBARA tries to change the subject.)
BARBARA: Er, why...why do they make us do...
(A ZARBI scuttles up and interrupts her question. She and HROSTAR quickly return to work. The ZARBI moves away.)
BARBARA: Why do they make us heap this vegetation into the acid streams?
HROSTAR: It is...the raw material for the Carsenome, where the Zarbi live. Fed into these pools, it is drawn to the centre, through underground streams and as...we pour it in, the Carsenome grows...and reaches out across Vortis.
BARBARA: Well, what lies at the centre?
HROSTAR: None of us...have ever seen it...and lived. But we call it the Animus.
(The ZARBI guard returns and starts harrying HROSTAR. He and BARBARA walk off to continue their work.)
BARBARA: Do you understand them?
HROSTAR: No. They...are just cattle. They do not have...any speech nor motive of their own. Just controlled sentries.
(They watch as a ZARBI pushes another of the Menoptra slaves to the ground.)
HROSTAR: We came here...to liberate them. It was disaster. Vrestin, the others. We arrived...in advance of the spearhead, our weapons proved useless. They were taken by the Zarbi who were everywhere. The three of us...you met...in the cave, got away with the communicator...but we could not contact our spearhead.
BARBARA: Well, when is it due to arrive?
(HROSTAR stops and picks up more vegetation.)
HROSTAR: Soon.
BARBARA: And how will you overcome the Animus?
HROSTAR: With...a new invention...of our scientists. It has not been tested but we have placed our faith in the...Isop-tope.
(BARBARA picks up some vegetation as a ZARBI comes up and starts pushing her along.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. CARSENOME. CONTROL ROOM
(A ZARBI scuttles along a passage and into the control room, carrying one of the Menoptra guns in its mouth. It walks past the DOCTOR who is busy examining their surroundings. VICKI impatiently walks up to him.)
VICKI: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
VICKI: Why don't we use the spider now as a weapon to get out of here?
DOCTOR: Because I think we might find it more valuable later on, child, when Ian and Barbara have returned. Hmm!
VICKI: Do you think it'll be safe where we put it?
DOCTOR: Oh, a hundred percent! A hundred percent! Mmm!
(The DOCTOR examines the wall of the Carsenome which lights up when the ANIMUS wants to relay instructions. As he does so, A ZARBI approaches them with one of the gold wishbone necklaces in its mouth. It bears down on VICKI.)
VICKI: Oh no!
DOCTOR: Use the spider, child!
(One of the larvae guns stops VICKI in her tracks and the ZARBI manages to place the necklace over her shoulders. He eyes cloud over as her face becomes blank. The tube descends from the ceiling and the DOCTOR is placed under it.)
ANIMUS VOICE: You delay. Now the child will die. Thus you will learn total obedience.
DOCTOR: If the child dies, there'll be no reason left for me to obey. I have located your enemy. My calculations are complete.
ANIMUS VOICE: You lie!
DOCTOR: The Menoptra are massing on the planet Pictos.
ANIMUS VOICE: Pictos!?
DOCTOR: It appears they're heading straight for Vortis. If you waste time in idle vengeance, in face of such an invasion, you will all be annihilated.
ANIMUS VOICE: Where will the Menoptra land?
DOCTOR: If I am given peace of mind for a while, I can find that out. That is if it's not too late.
ANIMUS VOICE: Go.
DOCTOR: Not before the child is released.
ANIMUS VOICE: (Pauses.) Go now...
DOCTOR: First, the child? Hmm?
(The tubes rises. A ZARBI scuttles over to the light wall then turns and nudges the larvae gun away from VICKI. Finally it takes the necklace off her shoulders. The DOCTOR jumps forward and catches her before she falls to the floor.)
VICKI: Oh, Doctor, it makes you feel so dizzy.
DOCTOR: (Hugging her.) Yes, I know, my dear, I know.
VICKI: Peculiar...
DOCTOR: I know. It'll be all right in a minute. Mmm?
VICKI: Did...did you tell that thing where the Menoptra are going to land?
DOCTOR: Just about enough for our survival. If I tell them everything, our usefulness will be ended. Now we've got to get out of here and I want to find a place to hide this recorder. I don't propose to make them a present...of the place of attack!
(The DOCTOR moves aside one of the star panels on the astral map and takes out the small recorder. The communications wall bursts into life as an alarm sounds. The ZARBI scuttle around.)
VICKI: Another panic on by the looks of it.
DOCTOR: Yes, there's no doubt, they've alerted their invasion forces. They've acted very quickly on the little information that I gave them. Now while they're busy, I want you to nip back into the ship, find my walking stick and bring it straight back here, hurry!
(VICKI runs off...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: EXT. CRATER OF NEEDLES
(The alarm also sounds in the Crater. Two larvae guns rise into readiness. A ZARBI pushes BARBARA to the floor and she falls with a scream. Nearby an elderly Menoptra slave, PRAPILLUS listens to the alarm with HROSTAR.)
PRAPILLUS: Some kind of alarm.
HROSTAR: I hope they haven't found the...
(HROSTAR says no more as he and the others are herded by the ZARBI into a small cage like hut, seemingly made out of jagged spars of rock.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. CHAMBER
(IAN and VRESTIN are being tormented by their captors. They resemble caterpillars which are the height of a man but with composite eyes and withered arms.)
IAN: We were chased! We fell!
VRESTIN: They are too simple to understand, Heron.
(One of the creatures, speaking with a staccato feminine voice points at IAN, then at a small font-type object which contains a liquid.)
NEMINI: Hands! In there!
(IAN is pushed forward several times until his hands fall into the pool of liquid. He yells out in pain as the liquid binds his hands together. VRESTIN is now thrust forward the same routine is carried out. VESTRIN'S alien cry of pain is high-pitched.)
VRESTIN: Primitives! What is it you want from us?
NEMINI: Hetra!
(The other creatures are bowing to the wall decorations. One of them turns and hops down on its stunted legs to IAN and VESTRIN. It speaks with a deep guttural voice with drawn out speech patterns.)
HETRA: We know...that from the roof...comes hate! The liquiiiid...death! Creeeeping destroyer of...we Opetra. Yet you stand upright. We will consult the...chasm of light and if you come from...above, you will die!
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: EXT. CRATER OF NEEDLES
(BARBARA, HROSTAR, PRAPPILUS and a young feminine Menoptra called HLYNIA are in the cage in the crater. HLYNIA hands out food as PRAPILLUS and HROSTAR look through the spars to the guarding ZARBI and larvae gun outside.)
PRAPILLUS: Hrostar, is it the invasion?
HROSTAR: The spearhead? Yes! I think so!
PRAPILLUS: Then tell us what we must do?
HROSTAR: Nothing yet.
HLYNIA: Do nothing? But we've waited for generations for this moment.
HROSTAR: And it will come...but...a false move and all is lost. Success depended on surprise.
(HROSTAR suddenly realises something.)
HROSTAR: If this is an alert...how did they know?
(He thinks and then turns to BARBARA with a hiss.)
HROSTAR: Your Earth friends? This man of science you tell me of? Could he be helping them?
BARBARA: (Sounding uncertain.) No, erm, no. I'm sure he wouldn't.
HROSTAR: How then...do they know?
BARBARA: Know what?
HROSTAR: Our spearhead plan to land on the Sayo Plateau, just above the crater here, to the north.
BARBARA: Well, that doesn't mean to say that the Doctor told them. The Zarbi must be alerted everywhere, not just here.
HROSTAR: With the Zarbi weaponry, they will be massacred.
BARBARA: Are your forces armed?
HROSTAR: With useless weapons.
(HROSTAR turns round in a panic.)
HROSTAR: Our plan was for an attack on the Animus. We would have landed in secret, overcome the Zarbi and destroyed the force that rules them...by sheer force of numbers.
BARBARA: A suicide army.
HROSTAR: It would have been suicide to stay where we were. The invasion had to come now. We did not choose the time...it...is...now and failure...will mean failure for all time.
PRAPILLUS: Hrostar, the spearhead must be warned.
HROSTAR: But how? We smashed...the signalling...equipment.
BARBARA: Look, we must get to the top of the plateau, intercept them and warn them.
PRAPILLUS: Yes, we must.
HROSTAR: There...is a larvae gun...pointed straight at this door.
PRAPILLUS: We know.
HLYNIA: I saw thirty or more Zarbi leaving the Crater by the great web. I do not think there will be many more left to guard us.
BARBARA: Look, we must try. It only needs one of us to get through.
HROSTAR: If only...we could destroy...the larvae gun.
PRAPILLUS: I may do that.
HROSTAR: You? How?
PRAPILLUS: I know the Zarbi.
(PRAPILLUS goes to the back of their cage and knows a spar out in order to escape...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. CARSENOME. CONTROL ROOM
(Using his walking stick, fetched by VICKI from the TARDIS, the DOCTOR hooks the wishbone necklace. VICKI, standing by ready, runs towards the ZARBI guard with the preserved spider. The creature jumps back. VICKI whistles to the DOCTOR and he pulls the necklace across the floor to the base of the astral map.)
VICKI: Good! You've got it.
(They kneel down to examine it.)
DOCTOR: Now the question is how to make it safe, hmm?
VICKI: It's gold, isn't it?
DOCTOR: Yes, there's no mistaking it, my dear. Gold and something more than gold. Gold is the symbol of power on this planet. Which brings me to an incident with Ian and his pen.
VICKI: Ian and his pen?
DOCTOR: Yes, it flew out of his hand, just as he was about to give it to me, a gold pen. Now, we have got to find something to re-align...this power.
VICKI: What?
DOCTOR: Yes, that is the que... (A thought strikes him.) question, isn't it?
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: EXT. CRATER OF NEEDLES
(Through the spars of their cage, BARBARA and HROSTAR observe the ZARBI and the gun. BARBARA rushes to the back of the cage where HLYNIA keeps watch.)
BARBARA: Any sign of him?
(HLYNIA shakes her head. Outside the cage, the ZARBI moves away from the larvae gun and moves a short distance across the Crater. PRAPILLUS is hiding behind one of the needle crags near where the ZARBI is headed. The old Menoptra slips silently away.)
HROSTAR: It's left the larvae gun. It's our chance to destroy it.
BARBARA: Destroy it? Well, can't we use it ourselves?
HLYNIA: Only the Zarbi can control and fire them.
HROSTAR: Get ready.
(PRAPILLUS returns to hide behind the crag and throws a rock. The ZARBI spins round at the sound.)
HROSTAR: Now!
(The run from the cage and PRAPILLUS joins HROSTAR in attacking the ZARBI whilst BARBARA and HLYNIA see to the larvae gun. The two Menoptra manages to overturn the ZARBI. HROSTAR then runs over to take the leaderless larvae gun from BARBARA and HLYNIA. He picks it up and crushes it against the wall of the Crater. With a squelching noise, the creature dies. BARBARA is sickened by the sound.)
PRAPILLUS: Is the gun dead?
HROSTAR: Yes.
HLYNIA: I can lead us to the plateau.
BARBARA: Well come on then, quickly.
(They all run off out of the Crater...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. CARSENOME. CONTROL ROOM
(The necklace has been placed over, and connected to the astral map. VICKI observes the lash-up.)
VICKI: Have you finished now, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Yes, I think so, my dear. Well, now we know the TARDIS is the opponing, opposing force, the question is, which is the stronger? Hmm?
VICKI: What'll happen if you're wrong?
DOCTOR: What will happen? Well, the astral map will be ruined, of course, but, er, I'm afraid we have no choice. Now just stand back a bit, my dear.
(VICKI does so. The DOCTOR adjusts several controls and then flicks a switch. There is a small explosion.)
VICKI: Doctor!
(The DOCTOR laughs and is about to take the necklace off the astral map when a ZARBI scuttles forward. It pushes the DOCTOR towards the descending tube whilst VICKI struggles with the ZARBI to prevent it getting at the astral map and seeing the necklace.)
VICKI: It was nothing! Just a...fuse on one of our instruments! You...!
(The DOCTOR communicates with the ANIMUS...)
ANIMUS VOICE: The time to complete your findings. Report.
DOCTOR: It is still incomplete.
ANIMUS VOICE: Excuses!
DOCTOR: No doubt your "creatures" told you about the explosion.
(He takes the recorder out of his pocket.)
DOCTOR: This is what caused...the delay. You must wait.
ANIMUS VOICE: What is it you hold?
DOCTOR: Oh, nothing, nothing. Merely a piece of damaged equipment that happened...
(To the DOCTOR'S horror, the recorder bursts into life...)
MENOPTRA VOICE: ...Force on bearing two-six-five. Speed point O-one. Mean jettison craft at altitude five above Crater of Needles. Individual descent to Sayo Plateau, north of the Crater...
(The recording stops...)
ANIMUS VOICE: You were in possession of the information all the time! You will be dealt with when the invasion has been repelled.
(The tube rises from a silent DOCTOR. The ZARBI has managed to take the necklace from the astral map and put it onto VICKI'S shoulders. It edges her to the back of the room. She stands possessed next to the DOCTOR who has another necklace placed on him by a second ZARBI. He too is possessed...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: EXT. VORTIS
(HLYNIA and HROSTAR arrive on a ledge at the base of a cliff.)
HLYNIA: The plateau is just above us.
HROSTAR: We...will...remain here until the spearhead arrives.
(He turns and helps BARBARA onto the ledge.)
BARBARA: Well, at least we got here in time.
HROSTAR: You stay on guard here, Hlynia.
(They are about to move off when they hear the unmistakable sound of a ZARBI chirruping. They stop dead in their tracks. PRAPILLUS arrives on the ledge.)
PRAPILLUS: The Zarbi...are moving in! Surrounding the plateau!
HLYNIA: We must wait for the spearhead!
(HROSTAR turns on BARBARA.)
HROSTAR: Then this Doctor must have betrayed us!
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. CHAMBER
(The Optera hop back into the chamber where IAN and VRESTIN remain captive and give them their verdict.)
HETRA: Every creature...who invades our domain...comes only to prey on us. You are guilty.
NEMINI: Throw them...in the...fire...kill them!
(IAN is thrust forward.)
IAN: Will you kill your own kind?
HETRA: This stranger. You are...both...from...that wilderness above ground...where the light blinds the air, chokes, where only destroyer races live...and from where none of us who has gone forth has ever returned! You come foraging into our world...only for new victims. Take them!
(IAN is forced to his knees. VESTRIN runs forward.)
VRESTIN: Listen! This wilderness you speak of, belongs to you. We are coming in our legions to destroy the dark power and its Zarbi slaves.
HETRA: (Recognising the name.) The...Zarbi...
VRESTIN: They seized this planet long ago, enslaved your forebears and mine who remained. They are spreading the poisonous web of the Animus to every corner of Vortis.
NEMINI: (To HETRA.) As long...as we kill intruders...we are safe.
IAN: Don't you understand? You are Menoptra, like this.
HETRA: (Aghast.) The...Men...op...tra!
NEMINI: You speak...of our Gods!
(The Optera turn and bow to the wall decorations.)
VRESTIN: Your Gods?! The Menoptra are your kinsmen. Your wings withered on your bodies while you crawled blindly underground, like slugs. You were born to the greatest freedom of all creatures - to peace, beauty and light!
HETRA: It is death...for us...up there.
VRESTIN: This is not your element.
IAN: If you throw us into the fire, you destroy your own future.
NEMINI: Prove...what you say.
VRESTIN: I am Vrestin - a leader of the Menoptra. We come to destroy the dark power who rules this planet.
IAN: We need your help.
(VRESTIN'S wings open in a magnificent display. The Optera, awed, bow down to their "god".)
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: EXT. SAYO PLATEAU
(The Sayo Plateau is a high triangular edifice, overlooking the surface of Vortis. BARBARA and the Menoptra cautiously make their way among the mist-enshrouded rocks.)
BARBARA: They're not here yet.
PRAPILLUS: I feel the Zarbi are watching.
HROSTAR: Quietly!
(A flapping sound disturbs the silence. Out of the sky, several Menoptra fly down and land on the Plateau. They carry guns in their hands. HROSTAR addresses one of them...)
HROSTAR: Spearhead?
HILIO: Codeword?
HROSTAR: Electron.
HILIO: Where is your pilot party?
HROSTAR: Destroyed. Your force...get it off the Plateau.
HILIO: Why?
HROSTAR: Our weapons...are useless. The Zarbi have a rendezvous. Disperse the spearhead. They will be massacred!
(The haughty captain looks round. More Menoptra fly down out of the dark sky.)
HILIO: It is too late. We are already committed...to attack.
(BARBARA hears a noise behind her and turns round.)
BARBARA: Look!
(Several ZARBI are on top of the Plateau. Their arms twitch and they chirrup instructions to the larvae guns. As one Menoptra after another lands, the deadly weapons fire and fire, hitting the descending creatures. Several Menoptra land safely and fire their weapons at the ZARBI but as the pilot party previously found out, they prove useless. The larvae guns fire again and the Menoptra are blasted to the ground. One of them twitches on the floor, taking a long time to die. One Menoptra attacks a ZARBI with a rock but this proves as ineffective as its abandoned gun. Another larvae gun fires and its victim falls with a cry. BARBARA and the wingless Menoptra flee from the massacre, followed by ZARBI.)
BARBARA: They're still following us.
HROSTAR: We'll try the Crater's edge.
BARBARA: Well come on, hurry!
(They run off. HILIO gives out an order but he has lost his arrogant tone. His cry is now plaintive...)
HILIO: Spearhead - retreat!
(The surviving warriors need no further bidding. They fly off the Plateau as the larvae guns fire after them. BARBARA and PRAPILLUS flee. BARBARA stops, turns and watches as HROSTAR jumps off a rock and clubs a ZARBI to the ground. HILIO lands near HLYNIA.)
HILIO: We are surrounded.
HLYNIA: No - follow me.
(But her friends do find themselves surrounded as HROSTAR catches up with BARBARA and PRAPILLUS. Their backs are to a rockface as a ZARBI rears up before them and others join it ready to deal with the fugitives...)
|
Plan: A: the planet; Q: What is Vortis? A: Ian; Q: Who is the Doctor's companion? A: Vicki; Q: Who is the fourth member of the TARDIS crew? A: the butterfly-like Menoptera; Q: Who are the original denizens of Vortis? A: the moon Pictos; Q: Where did the Menoptera flee to? A: the Animus; Q: What is the name of the web that the Menoptera fled from? A: the ant-like Zarbi; Q: Who are the minions of the Animus? A: the larvae guns; Q: What are the Zarbi's living weapons called? Summary: On the planet Vortis, the Doctor, Ian, Barbara and Vicki are swept up in the struggles of the butterfly-like Menoptera, the original denizens of Vortis who were forced to flee the planet for the moon Pictos to escape the encroaching web of the Animus and its mind-controlled minions, the ant-like Zarbi and their living weapons, the larvae guns.
|
Teleplay by: Gigi McCreery & Perry Rein
Story by: Seth Kurland
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: Well that thing is clearing in the way! All right. Ah-ha! (He grabs a screwdriver and starts to attack the compressor, only he causes a small short circuit and shocks himself.) Ah-ah!! Damn fridge!
(Rachel enters from her new room.)
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin'?
Joey: Great! Roomie!
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Rachel: I'm not paying for half of that! I'm only staying here until my apartment gets fixed.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya'?
Rachel: That refrigerators don't live as long as people.
Joey: All right, now you know that the ATM will only lets you take out 300 at a time, I'll take a check for the other hundred.
Rachel: You're jokin' right?
Joey: Of course I'm jokin'! I don't take checks.
Rachel: Thank God you're pretty. (Exits.)
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hey!
All: Hi! Hey!
Rachel: Do you guys know any cute guys?
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joey's arm, Joey pats Chandler's shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Rachel: Anyway, there's this big charity ball this weekend and Ralph Lauren bought a table, so I kinda have to go...
Monica: What's the charity?
Rachel: I don't know, something either trees or disease-Ralph mumbles a lot.
Monica: Does Ralph mumble when you're not paying attention?
Rachel: Yeah! It's weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Phoebe: Well, what kind of guy are you looking for?
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Joey: Ooh! So close.
(Ross and Elizabeth enter.)
Ross: Hey everybody!
All: Hi!
Ross: Hey uh, this is Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: Oh hi!
All: Hi!
Elizabeth: I'm the student.
Chandler: (laughs) Isn't she cute? (On Monica's death stare) No!
Phoebe: Y'know, this is probably none of my business, but weren't you guys supposed to not be seen in public together?
Elizabeth: Oh, we're not together.
Ross: Oh no-no-no, we're just two people who happen to run into each other here at the coffee house. (He winks at her.)
Phoebe: Oh, sly.
Elizabeth: Well, I really wanted to meet you guys, but I have to run. I'll see you later?
All: Okay!
Elizabeth: Bye Ross.
Ross: Bye.
(They kiss.)
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
Ross: Oh that is quite all right ma'am. (Elizabeth exits.)
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Ross: Yes, her molecular epidemiology paper is due tomorrow.
Chandler: Oh, tell her good luck with that.
Ross: Anyone else? Huh? Bring 'em on!
Rachel: Oo! When's her birthday?!
Ross: I don't know Rachel, why?
Rachel: Well, y'know it's just been so long since I've been to Chuckie Cheese.
Monica: Oh, I like Elizabeth.
Ross: Well thanks!
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Y'know, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, how's it going with her?
Ross: Well, actually it's been great. She's 20 so she's not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Monica: Well that is great. And seriously, she seems very nice.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are...
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Monica: Chandler, do you think we talk about our relationship enough?
Chandler: Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Chandler: Oh that's so funny because we found someone too.
Phoebe: Oh that's good, I guess she'll have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.
Chandler: Why would our guy be a weirdo?
Phoebe: 'Cause that's just your taste.
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
Phoebe: Oh yeah?
Monica: Yeah!
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form...)
Chandler: A face ass?
Phoebe: A chin dimple!
Monica: Well, uh y'know, our guy works with Chandler and he's really nice and smart and he's a great dresser!
Phoebe: Have you seen your guy's body?
Chandler: No, our guy is just a floating head.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? He's a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Monica: You're not supposed to look!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like there are police for that!
Chandler: (horrified) Wait! You look? You-you massaged me.
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Monica: All right fine, your guy may have a great body, but our guy is really funny.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler funny?
Monica: Our guy's a great dancer!
Phoebe: My guy is well read.
Chandler: Our guy has great hair.
Phoebe: My guy has great teeth!
Chandler: Our guy smells incredible.
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isn't doing all that well.]
Chandler: Hey.
Joey: Huh.
Chandler: Well, you...don't look good Joe.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limes-Hey, what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: That's still in there?!
Joey: Not anymore. So anyway, how do you want to pay me?
Chandler: Is this a service you're providing me?
Joey: No! No! No! For my new fridge-our new fridge!
Chandler: Our new fridge? I don't live here anymore.
Joey: So what? Look, suppose we were a divorced couple.
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
Chandler: (not quite sure where Joey's going and is a little worried) Okay...
Joey: (pause) Give me $400!
[Scene: Ross's office, he's unlocking his office door as Elizabeth walks up.]
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Ross: Hmm? (Turns around and sees that its Elizabeth) Oh, a student I don't know.
Elizabeth: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
Ross: Yes, yes of course, what-what would this be regarding?
Elizabeth: Making out in your office.
Ross: Shh! (Laughs then composes himself) Of course, why don't we go inside?
(They go inside and Ross closes the door. When he turns around Elizabeth walks up to him, pushes him back against the door, and starts kissing him.)
Ross: Oh-ooh!
Elizabeth: What?
Ross: Doorknob! Doorknob!
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Ross: Oh, okay. What-what about?
Elizabeth: Spring vacation.
Ross: Spring vacation.
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips...
(Another professor barges in.)
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
Ross: (quickly jumping away from Elizabeth) Yes, professor Feesen-sen-stenlger... I'll be with you in one moment. (To Elizabeth) So, I will take one box of the Thin Mints. (And he ushers Elizabeth out of the office.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Ross: You don't understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, I'm not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Chandler: Just tell her the truth! Tell her you're not ready.
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Chandler: Then you distract her with a Barbie doll.
Joey: Or! You can just, y'know... (He walks up close to whisper in Ross's ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Ross: What the hell are you doing?
Joey: What? What the hell am I doing? You just broke my fridge!
Ross: What?! What? How do you, how do you even know its broken?!
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, you think I don't know what breaks my fridge? Excuse me! (He opens the door and feels inside.) Well what do you know! Broken! That'll be $400!
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Joey: (pause) You pushed him!
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Chandler: Uh-huh.
Joey: I still haven't gotten a check for your half yet.
Ross: Do not give him any money!
Joey: I'm not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
[Scene: Ross's office, he's opening the door to Elizabeth.]
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Ross: Yes. Yes! Please, come in.
(She does so, he closes the door, and she pushes him against the doorknob again.)
Ross: Oo-oo!
Elizabeth: Doorknob?
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Elizabeth: Oh good.
Ross: Look, I... (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, I'm having a great time with you and I just don't want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, I'm sorry I just don't think we should go away together yet. It's-it's too soon.
Elizabeth: Ross, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Florida for a couple weeks.
Ross: No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was...
Elizabeth: You are so adorable.
Ross: That! Let's talk about that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didn't want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that she's going to Florida for spring vacation.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
Ross: What's-what's the difference?
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break you're doing frat guys.
Ross: Hey, y'know what? Not all spring breaks are like that.
Phoebe: What did you do on yours?
Ross: I went to Egypt with my dad.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, it's the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean she's taken my class!
Monica: And slept with the professor.
Ross: I'm gonna call her.
Chandler: Yeah.
(Ross leaves to do so and Rachel enters with a guy.)
Rachel: Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian.
Sebastian: Hi.
Rachel: We just uh, we just met at the newsstand. We both grabbed for the last Field & Stream. (Chandler's shocked.) What? I read that.
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Oh yes! Thank you! (He does so and Rachel sits down on the couch.)
Phoebe: Rachel, what the hell is this?!
Rachel: (shocked) What?
Phoebe: You ask us to find you a guy and you come traipsing in here with your own!
Rachel: You found me a guy?
Monica: Yes! We found you a really cute and funny guy from Chandler's work!
Phoebe: Yeah and I-I found you one too who is not a weirdo.
Rachel: Well, y'know what though you guys? I really appreciate that but I think I'm just gonna take Sebastian to the charity.
Chandler: Are you sure?! Because our guy smells incredible!
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
(Sebastian returns with the coffee.)
Sebastian: Here you go. (Hands her, her cup.)
Rachel: Oh, thank you.
Sebastian: Sure.
Phoebe: So, Sebastian, do you do any volunteer work?
Sebastian: Uh, no not really. Why?
Phoebe: No reason, it's just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Chandler: Are you funny?
Sebastian: Excuse me?
Rachel: What are you guys doing?
Monica: Are you funny? Tell us a joke!
Sebastian: Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Phoebe: Well, so do a lot of people.
Sebastian: Actually, I uh, I gotta get going. (To Rachel) Give me a call sometime.
Rachel: Oh, but y'know, no, you didn't give me your phone number.
Sebastian: Okay! See you later! (Exits.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: I cannot believe you guys! He was really nice and he left because of you!
Chandler: Yeah, but Sebastian? What is that? A cat's name?
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy you'd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okay-I gotta go!"
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, we're very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And y'know what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Y'know you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Rachel: All right.
Chandler: Okay, so you will meet our guys?
Rachel: Yes, I'll meet 'em.
Chandler: Okay now it doesn't matter which one you choose, y'know? It's completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Joey: (entering) Pheebs! There you are! Okay, you broke my fridge; you owe me 400 bucks!
Phoebe: Okay sure!
Joey: Really?!
Phoebe: Ooh, technically you owe me $600 for sending out happy thoughts on your last ten auditions.
Joey: Call it even?
Phoebe: Okay.
(Ross returns.)
Chandler: (To Ross) Well, there you are! So what did Elizabeth say?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girl's bodies, waking up next to people you don't even know...
Joey: Man, she is going to have a great time! Is she staying at the Hotel Corona?
Chandler: You know the hotels?
Joey: Sure! I was there! Spring Break '81! Woo-hoo!
Monica: In 1981 you were 13!
Joey: So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And y'know who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
Ross: Okay, she can't go.
Phoebe: Ross, you can't tell her not to go. You just started dating.
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Ross: Well, what is she goes down and-and sleeps with a bunch of guys?
Chandler: Well, maybe you don't marry this one.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Elizabeth's apartment, she is packing for her trip as Ross watches.]
Ross: I'm so glad you're going on this trip!
Elizabeth: Yeah! I've been working so hard this semester. I really need to go crazy y'know, blow off some steam.
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I don't, I don't know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Elizabeth: What?
Ross: Are you into crafts at all?
Elizabeth: Ross, are you okay?
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course I'm okay! What? I'm just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, what's this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Elizabeth: It's a bathing suit?
Ross: To wear in front of people?
Elizabeth: Is that supportive?
Ross: Is this?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is reading as Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Hey!
Chandler: Good-good-good-good.
Monica: Hey!
Chandler: Hey!
Rachel: Hi!
Monica: We're really glad you decided to meet our guy.
Rachel: Oh...
Monica: You're gonna like him so much. So umm, when do you want to meet him?
Rachel: I don't know. I know I don't work late tomorrow night.
Chandler: Tomorrow night is good. Tomorrow night is good, but uh, y'know what? Why put off something till tomorrow that you can do right now? (Laughs) Eldad come here! (He stands up from the next table.)
Rachel: What?
Monica: Eldad, this is Rachel.
Eldad: How are you?
Rachel: Well-well a little blind sided but y'know good.
Chandler: Eldad, sit down. (To Rachel) Move over! Move over now!
Rachel: I-Ohh! (Moves over and lets Eldad sit on the couch.)
Chandler: There you go! There you are! (Rachel stares at Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: This is Patrick. (Points to him.)
Patrick: Hi.
Chandler: Hi. (To Phoebe) Okay, you're too late okay? Because she's already with our guy.
Phoebe: (looks) Oh my God, you're right! I am too late; they're sitting on the couch and talking! (To Patrick) Come on! (They go over to the couch.) Rachel?
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: This is Patrick.
Rachel: Oh, hi.
Patrick: Hi.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Rachel: Yeah?
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to what's underneath it.
Rachel: Oh-okay, but Pheebs?
Phoebe: Yeah?
Rachel: I'm just sort of in the middle of something.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, that's okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
Monica: No! You can't do that!
Eldad: Maybe I should go!
Monica: (stopping him) Sit down! We're winning!
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? Maybe I should go!
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Monica: Rachel! Rachel! You haven't touched Eldad's hair!
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Rachel: Yeah, I'm good.
Phoebe: Rachel? Patrick is really rich. (To Patrick) Give her some money.
Patrick: Y'know what Phoebe? This isn't really worth the free massage.
Monica: That's right Patrick, bye-bye!
Chandler: (To Rachel) Eldad is much more cooperative! And he can dance! (To Eldad) You dance for Rachel!
(He starts to get up, but Rachel stops him.)
Rachel: No-no! Don't dance for me! Please? Don't! (She gets up to yell at her 'friends.') What is the matter with you guys?
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, let's talk it out.
Rachel: I... Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Eldad: I'm a little embarrassed. (Chandler shushes him.)
Rachel: I'll tell ya who should be embarrassed! It's you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to...
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and y'know-(Feels Eldad's hair)-Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Eldad: Yes, Papaya Extract.
Rachel: Thank you! (Storms out.)
[Scene: The airport, Elizabeth's flight is about to leave and Ross is there to send her off.]
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Elizabeth: I will.
Ross: Yeah. And did you, did you pack that bathing suit?
Elizabeth: Yeah.
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because it's revealing which I'm fine with, no I'm concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Elizabeth: Oh, don't worry I have plenty of sun block, it's SPF-30.
Ross: Well, if what's in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes it's-it's get 4, and I swear to God more often than not it's just milk.
Elizabeth: Ross, it's going to be okay. I'm not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Ross: Really?
Elizabeth: Yeah! I'm just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Ross: Okay. Cool.
Elizabeth: Oh hey! Here they are!
(A group of about 10 guys and no women come running around the corner.)
Guy: Elizabeth!
(The guys pick up Elizabeth and carry her onto the plane as she waves bye.)
Ross: Call me!
Ending Credits
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Rachel, Chandler, and Phoebe are there.]
Phoebe: Rachel, we're sorry for pushing those guys on you.
Rachel: Oh that's all right! Y'know, I ended up having a really good time. Y'know, the charity was a big success and they raised a lot of money and awareness.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
Rachel: I wanna say a disease.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
All: Hey!
Joey: I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV.
Rachel: Huh. All right.
(Rachel does so and it's one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see...)
Phoebe: Oh my God, look! That's Elizabeth!
(Suddenly Ross jumps in and starts dancing with her.)
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Joey: Ahh, to be 13 again.
Chandler: Yeah.
|
Plan: A: Joey's refrigerator breaks; Q: What happens to Joey's refrigerator? A: the friends; Q: Who does Joey try to con into buying him a new refrigerator? A: Elizabeth; Q: Who is Ross' student girlfriend? A: Miami; Q: Where is Elizabeth going for spring break? A: Ross' paranoia; Q: What does Elizabeth's trip to Miami unleash? A: Rachel; Q: Who asks Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica to find her a date for the Ralph Lauren Ball? A: a competition; Q: What does Rachel's request spark? Summary: Joey's refrigerator breaks, but unable to afford a new one, he tries to con the friends into paying for it. Ross' student girlfriend, Elizabeth, is heading to Miami for spring break, unleashing Ross' paranoia over what she might do there. Meanwhile, Rachel asks Phoebe, Chandler, and Monica to find her a date for the Ralph Lauren Ball, sparking a competition so fierce that when Rachel finds her own date, the three scare him off.
|
[Caroline's house]
(Caroline's gets out and locks the door. She turns herself and sees Tyler)
Caroline: Hey. How is it going?
Tyler: We need to talk
Caroline: Yeah, we do. Listen... I've been thinking about it and I don't want to overanalyze. It was just one kiss but Matt's still kind in the picture. We can't go there, Tyler
Tyler: Fine
Caroline: Great. That's settled
(She goes toward her car)
Tyler: What happened to my uncle Mason?
Caroline: What?
Tyler: He's dead and I want you to tell me what happened
Caroline: I... I don't...
Tyler: Then let me tell you: Stefan and his brother Damon killed him because Stefan and Damon are vampires, just like you
Caroline: Who told you that?
Tyler: Is it true?
Caroline: Let me explain
Tyler: Did you know he was dead this whole time?
Caroline: Please
Tyler: Did you know?!
(She nods and Tyler pushes her against her car)
Caroline: I'm sorry, Tyler. I'm sorry
Tyler: I trusted you!
(He releases her and leaves)
[Salvatore's house]
(Damon is in bathroom, in the shower. He's listening to the news and goes in his bedroom to watch)
Andie Star: The authorities believe last night's assailant may also be related to the missing campers and Park ranger who have yet to be found as well as 25 years old Jessica Koenig, reported missing this morning. The sheriff department says investigations are pending and no further comment will be made.
[Gilbert's house]
(John is in the kitchen. Elena enters the room)
John: Good morning
Elena: What are you doing here?
John: Coffee?
Elena: We're not doing that. We did that last night, no more avoiding. Why are you here?
John: I'm here to protect you. That's all I can say for the moment
Elena: What do you mean that's all you can say?
John: I'll tell you more when I'm convinced I can trust you
(Jenna and Alaric enter the room. Jenna sees john)
Jenna: What the hell?
John: Good morning to you, Jenna. Alaric...
Jenna: It's okay I'm confused, right? Because we were not excepting you like ever
John: Well, I gotten late last night. Elena let me in
Alaric: You know, I probably just gonna take off
(He looks at Elena and leaves)
Jenna: I'm still confused here
John: I decided to come back and stay for a while
Jenna: Not here, you're not
John: Actually, you can't stop me from living here
Jenna: Actually I can, as legal guardian
John: Yeah, about that... Elena, you want me to explain the situation or would you like to do the honors?
Jenna: Okay, what's going on?
Elena: I'm sorry, Jenna. I should have told you earlier but...
John: I'm Elena's biological father. There, now you know
(He leaves. Elena is alone with Jenna)
Jenna: What?!
[Salvatore's house]
(Stefan and Damon are in Stefan's bedroom)
Damon: You brought back John Gilbert? That was your big save Elena move?
Stefan: I went to go look for Isobel and I get John instead. He said he can help us and we're desperate
Damon: we're not that desperate, Stefan. The guy tried to barbecue me!
Stefan: Damon, Bonnie's new witch friend is working with Elijah so we have to assume that the moonstone was never destroyed . Elena is putting all of her faith into some deal that she made with Elijah to keep everyone safe. I mean, do you trust Elijah? I don't trust him. He's an original, he can't be trusted. It's not like we can just go up and kill him because apparently he can't die!
Damon: I'm still waiting for the part where John Gilbert is the answer
Stefan: He knew about the sacrifice . Isobel told him. He said he know of a way to keep Elena safe
Damon: And how do we do that?
Stefan: He's not talking. At least not to me anyway
Damon: Great work Stefan. Top notch. As if I didn't have enough problems
Stefan: Hey, I'm sorry about Rose
Damon: Whatever. I knew the woman for 5 minutes
Stefan: And you cared about her after 5 minutes. I wonder what that means
Damon: It means I care, Stefan. That's means I'm changing evolving into a man capable of greatness. Better watch your back because I may just have to go get a hero hairdo of my own and steal your thunder
(He leaves. Stefan receives a text from Caroline telling him that there is an emergency)
[Lockwood's mansion]
(Someone knocks on the door. Tyler opens. It's Jules. He let her in)
[Caroline's house]
(Caroline let Stefan in)
Stefan: What's wrong?
Caroline: Tyler knows about you and Damon. He knows that Damon killed Mason. I didn't say a word
Stefan: It's that woman, Jules. She had a run with Damon
Caroline: Tyler was so upset. The look on his face, he was so betrayed
Stefan: Wow, this is bad
Caroline: You're not gonna tell Damon, are you?
Stefan: No, he already wants to kill him. He thinks all werewolves should die and he's not wrong to think that, Caroline. I mean, what if Tyler wants to retaliate? He has every right to. He could get himself killed
Caroline: Well, we're not gonna let that happen. We have to get to him and reason with him before he does something stupid. You have to talk to him. Just try to explain, you know? You always know the right thing to say, okay? He and I... we're friends
[Lockwood's mansion]
Jules: I was right, wasn't I? your little vampire friend, she was lying
Tyler: What do you want?
Jules: I want you to understand that a vampire will never be your friend. It's our nature to be enemies
Tyler: You know how stupid that sounds?
Jules: You need to leave here, it's not safe
Tyler: I can't just run away with you. I don't even know you. My mom would freak. My life is here
Jules: Your old life. Your new life is just beginning. You have so much to learn
Tyler: Like what?
Jules: How to survive. You've triggered the curse, Tyler. It's important you learn what it means to be a lycanthrope. We live by a code of loyalty. We take care of each other. It's my duty and honor to help you. Please let me
[Gilbert's house]
(Elena let Damon in)
Damon: Where's John?
Elena: He's not here, he left. I don't know where he went. He just blew in, announced to Jenna that he's my dad and then took off
Damon: It's public knowledge now?
Elena: Apparently
Damon: Are you okay?
Elena: Yeah. Jenna's head spinning but I'm okay
Damon: He said what he was doing here?
Elena: No. you know, Stefan thinks that he's telling the truth about wanting to help me
Damon: do you believe him?
Elena: No. I don't believe him for a second
Damon: Me neither
Elena: What are we gonna do?
Damon: kill him
Elena: Damon...
Damon: I'm joking. Okay, I'm a little serious
Elena: Damon!
Damon: I'm not gonna hurt him, Elena. I'm the good guy now, remember?
Elena: What does that mean?
Damon: I'm gonna have a civil conversation with your father
Elena: Wait, I'm coming with you
(They leave)
[Lockwood's mansion]
(Tyler is in his father's office and look at the computer. Stefan's here. Tyler sees him and tries to leave but Stefan stops him)
Stefan: I'm not gonna hurt you. I just want to talk
Tyler: Then why did you break in?
Stefan: Would you have let me in otherwise?
(Carol Lockwood is going down the stairs and goes toward the office)
Carol: Tyler?
(Tyler tries to leave the room but Stefan catches him and pushes him against the wall. His face has changed)
Stefan: Shut. Not a word
Carol: Tyler? I'm leaving for the memorial
(She leaves)
[The woods]
(Jules arrives at a RV . She knocks)
Jules: Brady?
(She opens the door but no one's here. She turns herself. Brady's here. She smiles and they kiss)
Jules: This is a hard place to find
Brady: You told me to stand on the red alert
Jules: Thanks for coming
Brady: Are you sure these vamps killed Mason?
Jules: Positive. You have to be careful
Brady: I'm not afraid of a vampire
Jules: I know baby but I want the boy more than I want vengeance
Brady: Let's get both
(They kiss)
[Lockwood's mansion]
(Stefan releases Tyler)
Stefan: Maybe we get off on the wrong foot here
Tyler: What happened to Mason?
Stefan: Tyler, there's a lot for us to talk about
(He tries to leave but Stefan catches him)
Stefan: I wouldn't do that. Without a full moon you're not match for me
[Mystic Falls' square]
(It's the memorial. John rejoins Carol)
Carol: It's good to have you back, John. We could really use you
John: And the council? What are they doing?
Carol: Damon Salvatore is leading the council now. Talk to him
(A woman arrives to talk to Carol. She leaves John. Jeremy rejoins him)
John: Jeremy, there you are
Jeremy: Looks like I slept through the homecoming
John: You didn't miss much. Let's say that no one's happy to see me would be an understatement
Jeremy: Look, things are different now. You can't come around and start up with all this anti-vampire stuff
John: I have no intention of doing that. How's that ring been treating you?
Jeremy: Look, if this is what you came for, just take it and go
(he gives him the ring but John doesn't take it)
John: What kind of a man would I be if I took that from you? You want to go grab some lunch?
Jeremy: I think I'll pass
(John leaves. Jeremy sees Bonnie and smiles. Jonas rejoins Bonnie)
Jonas: Hello Bonnie
Bonnie: I don't have anything to say to you, Doctor Martin or your son
Jonas: You must be feeling very confused about us
Bonnie: There's nothing confusing about it. I trusted Luka and he betrayed me. Elena told me you were working for Elijah so don't lie about it
Jonas: I won't but that doesn't mean we're not also looking out for you
Bonnie: Spare me the witch loyalty crap
Jonas: You might don't want to believe this but Elijah is a man of his word. You can trust that he'll keep the end of his deal with Elena to keep you and your friends protected
Bonnie: You're right, I don't believe it
(Jeremy rejoins them)
Jeremy: Is there a problem here?
Bonnie: not at all
(They leave)
Jeremy: What was that about?
Bonnie: More lies
[Mystic Grill]
(Jenna and Alaric are sitting at a table)
Jenna: I can't believe it. Elena is my sister's husband's brother's daughter and her mother is boyfriend's dead wife. You can't make this stuff up
Alaric: It's definitely overwhelming
Jenna: I can't believe that they keep it a secret. How is it even possible to keep a secret like that?
(John enters the mystic grill and rejoins them)
John: Hey you two. Do you think I can join you?
Jenna: Do you have to?
John: I guess I don't have to but might as well
(John turns hi head and sees Damon and Elena arrive)
Elena: We just need answers. Please don't do anything stupid
Damon: Yeah but stupid is so much more fun
Elena: Damon, I mean it. All I'm asking is you try to keep it together. Be a better man
Damon: Okay then
(They rejoin John)
Damon: John, buddy, how have you been?
John: I've been alright, Damon. It's good to see you
[Lockwood's mansion]
Stefan: Look, about Caroline, no matter what her flaws are, if an issue comes you'll want to have that girl on your side . She's your friend, stop being a dick to her
Tyler: I thought vampires hated werewolves
Stefan: That's some sort of leftover idea from another time. It doesn't have to be that way anymore. We go to the same school. We have the same friends. We keep the same secrets. This can work, Tyler. I mean, it's your home, it's my home too. I want this to work
(Tyler's phone rings. He answers. It's Jules)
Tyler: Help, help!
(Stefan catches the phone and throws it on the desk)
Stefan: Who's number was that? Damn it Tyler! I'm trying to save your life. Can't you see that?
[The woods]
(Jules hangs up. She's worried and rejoins Brady)
Jules: We have a problem
[Mystic Grill]
(John is lighting a candle for the victims. Damon rejoins him)
Damon: So John, rumor has it that you know a lot and won't say anything
John: How I know you can be trusted, Damon? Originals can compel vampires and according to Stefan, that's why Katherine's still in the tomb, because an original has compel her to stay there
Damon: Only because all of the vervein have left her system. Stefan and I on the other hand are chock full
John: You guys are drinking vervein?
Damon: It's an acquired taste. I don't see that magic little ring on that stitched finger so if you know something about Klaus, you better start talking or I will kill you in your sleep
John: Is that any way to convince me that you and I are on the same side? First, I need to know that I can trust you, Damon, that I can count on you. Then we'll talk
(He leaves)
(Caroline is on the parking lot. Matt rejoins her)
Matt: Hey! Hey!
Caroline: Hey
Matt: I haven't seen you
Caroline: I'm not avoiding you, I swear
Matt: Yeah. You're avoiding me a little
Caroline: Okay, maybe a little
Matt: Can we talk later? I mean, I'm heading to work right now but maybe after, to clear some of this weirdness
Caroline: Yeah, yeah, I'd really like that. I'll just swing by when you're closing?
Matt: Sounds good
Caroline: Okay, bye
(He leaves. Caroline goes to her car and feels that someone's behind her. It's Jules)
Jules: Excuse me, Caroline right?
Caroline: Yeah
Jules: I'm looking for Tyler. You haven't seen him, have you?
Caroline: No, not since earlier. Sorry
Jules: I know you're lying
Caroline: Really? How? Is that one of your little wolf tricks?
Jules: Actually it is
Caroline: Well, I have a trick too
(She vamps out and turns herself but Jules asperse her with a vervein spray. Caroline is hurt, heals and turns herself again but Brady shots her in the head)
[The woods]
(Caroline is in a cage in Brady's SV. She has a wound in her head. She screams a little and gets the wooden bullet out of her head. She tries to unlock the cage but sees Brady)
Brady: I see you got the bullet out. That was nasty. I got a lots of wooden bullets, other toys. It's gonna be a long night, sweet pea
(He shots her. She screams)
[Lockwood's mansion]
Tyler: You want to be friends, great, we're friends. Will you go now?
Stefan: I don't know what else to say to you Tyler. I came back o this town because I wanted a life, I wanted to exist where I can have friends and where I can build a family. I have that here, we can both have that
(Stefan's phone rings. It's Caroline's phone. He hangs up)
Stefan: Hey. Is everything okay?
Jules: That depends. How about you want to keep her alive
Stefan: Who is this?
Jules: Ask your brother. Where's Tyler?
Stefan: Jules? Where's Caroline?
Jules: You made a mistake, Stefan. I gonna give you a chance to fix it
Stefan: Where is she?
Jules: right here. Want proof?
(Jules tells Brady that Stefan wants a proof. He shots Caroline and she screams. Stefan's heard)
Stefan: Hurt her again and you're dead
Jules: I hurt her again and she's dead. Bring Tyler to me , the clearing by Wickery falls. You have 20 minutes until she dies
(She hangs up)
[Mystic Grill]
(Damon is at the bar. Jenna rejoins him. She's with a woman)
Jenna: So, my friend wants to meet you. Damon Salvatore, this is...
Damon: I know you. The news lady
Andie: Yeah, Andie Star. Nice to meet you. Can I buy you a drink, Damon?
(Elena is looking at them)
Damon: My glass is all full, Andie. Thank you
(He leaves and rejoins Elena)
Elena: You totally blew her off
Damon: I staying clear off all women at the moment
Elena: You didn't have to be rude
Damon: Trust me, it's on the best interest of women everywhere
(Elena's phone rings. She takes it)
Elena: Stefan? What is it?
(She looks at Damon)
(Damon and Elena are in the restrooms)
Damon: Why am I just finding out about this now?
Elena: Stefan was worried that you...
Damon: That I'll what? That I'd kill him? Of course, it's what's need to happen
Elena: No Damon, not Tyler. Do whatever you need to do to get Caroline back but just leave Tyler out of it, okay?
Damon: Why? He's a werewolf, he needs to die. I'm willing to kill him, it's win-win
(She touches his arm)
Elena: Damon please, okay? Too many people are dead
Damon: You need to stop doing that
Elena: Doing what?
Damon: Assuming that I'll play the good guy because that you who's asking
Elena: Be a better man, Damon
(John enters the room)
Damon: Do you mind?
John: What's going on?
Elena: Nothing
John: It doesn't look like nothing
Damon: well guess what John, trust works both ways. Get out
Elena: Look, we don't have time for this. We need to get Caroline back
Damon: We don't have to do anything. I'll take care of it
(He turn himself and looks at John)
Damon: First dad duty: ground your daughter. Keep her here
(He leaves)
Elena: I'm coming with you
John: No, no, no, no, no. I'm with Damon on this one. No, stop, stop. You're not going anywhere. Just tell me what's going on
[SCENE_BREAK]
[The woods]
(Caroline is still in the cage? She's crying.)
Brady: So, How many vampires are they in this town anyway?
(She doesn't answer so he throws her vervein. She screams)
Brady: No?
Caroline: Why are you doing this to me?! Why are you doing this? Why?
Brady: You're a vampire. Why not?
(He throws her wooden sticks in the neck. She screams)
Brady: I'm sorry, what was that?
Caroline: Let me out!
Brady: Excuse me? What was that?
Caroline: Let me out!
(Brady gets out and rejoins Jules outside)
Jules: Get it out of your system?
Brady: No, I'm just getting started
Jules: Brady, let's be smart about this. I just want the boy. It's our duty to help him, it's who we are
Brady: You want to talk duty and honor? These are vampires. They cross one of us, they cross all of us. That's who we are
[Mystic Grill]
(Elena gets out of the restrooms. John's here)
John: You're not leaving this restaurant
Elena: You can't tell me what to do
John: Yes I can. You want to know why? Because I'm here to make sure you stay safe
Elena: I've got that covered
John: Are you talking about the deal that you made with Elijah? Do you really think he's gonna keep this promise to you? Putting your faith in him was a dumb move
Elena: Are you saying I should put my faith in you? After everything that you've done to Damon and Stefan?
John: We had our difference and I've made mistakes but you and I , we're family
Elena: You don't get to use tat word. That word is off limits to you!
John: Fine, but it doesn't't change the facts
Elena: You're right. Facts are facts so listen up: you may be my father but I'm never going to be your daughter, you got that?
(She leaves)
[The woods]
(Jules is alone. Suddenly she hears something)
Jules: I know you're out there
(Stefan goes out of the woods with Tyler)
Stefan: Where's Caroline?
Jules: Locked up tight
Stefan: Let her go and I release Tyler. The situation doesn't have to get any messier than it already has. I'm not your enemy, Jules
Jules: It's a little late to be waving the white flag, don't you think?
Stefan: You need to leave town. No one else has to get hurt
Jules: I'm not leaving without Tyler
Stefan: Tyler is free to make his own decisions as soon as you release Caroline
(Damon arrives)
Damon: My brother the peacemaker . Since Stefan got here before me I'm gonna let him try to his way before I resort to my way, which is a little bloodier so give us Caroline
Jules: Let go of Tyler
Damon: Give us Caroline. Without a full moon it's not an even fight and you know it. We will take you
Jules: I'm not so sure about that, tough guy
(She makes a noise with her mouth and a lot of people, including Brady, arrive around them. They have stakes, crossbows and fire)
Jules: Let's try this again. Give us Tyler
(Damon looks at Tyler)
Damon: You heard her. Go. Get over there
(Tyler rejoins Jules)
Brady: Which one of you killed Mason?
Damon: Uh, that'd be me
Brady: Boys, make sure that one suffers
(Damon looks at Stefan)
Damon: We can take them
Stefan: I don't know about that
Damon: Well then...
(He rushes over Jules but she jumps on the top of the SV. Tyler's gone inside. One of them tries to burn Stefan but he takes him and burns two werewolves. One of the werewolves jumps on Damon but he rip his heart out before he gets to him.)
(Inside the SV, Tyler sees Caroline in the cage)
Caroline: Tyler, there's a latch on the door and I can't get to it
(He hesitates)
Caroline: Tyler?
(Outside, Stefan's kills a werewolf. Another throws him an arrow but he catches it)
(Inside the SV)
Caroline: Tyler, please! Tyler?
(He finally goes toward the cage)
(Stefan fights with one of the werewolves and drive a stake through his body. Another throws him an arrow but he catches it and throws it to his necks. The werewolf falls on the floor. Another goes behind Stefan and drive a stake through his back. Stefan falls on the floor. Damon fights with Brady but Jules arrive and shot him with a wooden bullet. He falls on the floor)
(Tyler opens the cage so Caroline goes out of the SV but Jules catches her, pushes her against the SV and put a gun on his head. Tyler goes out and looks at Caroline but he doesn't do anything. Brady takes a stake and is about to kill Damon but suddenly he screams and the other werewolves too. They all take they head between their hands and fall on the floor)
Caroline: What's happening?
Tyler: What the hell is going on?
(Jonas rejoin them. He's casting a spell on the werewolves. Damon and Stefan get up)
Jonas: Elijah made a promise to Elena. I'm here to see it's up held. You need to go. Get out of here. Now
(They leave. Jonas look at Tyler)
Jonas: When your friends are waken, give them a message: They need to get the hell out of this town
(He leaves)
[Caroline's house]
(Caroline is with Stefan)
Stefan: So is your mom home?
Caroline: No, she's at work
Stefan: I can come in if you want me to
Caroline: I'm fine, Stefan
Stefan: You don't have to pretend with me. Anybody would be upset after what you went through tonight
Caroline: I'm okay. I'm not girly little Caroline anymore. I can handle myself
Stefan: Sure you can
Caroline: I just really want to go shower so...
Stefan: Okay
Caroline: Good night
Stefan: Good night
(She closes the door)
[Salvatore's house]
(Damon opens the door. John's here)
Damon: What do you want?
John: We haven't finish our conversation
Damon: I'll bite
(John enters the house)
John: I've been thinking. Personal feelings aside Damon, I think You and Stefan will do all you can to protect Elena
Damon: I agree with that statement
John: So I come with gifts
(he opens o towel. There's a dagger and a vial in it)
Damon: What is that?
John: This is how you kill an original? In this vial, is ash from a white oak tree that dates back to the genesis of the originals. The dagger must be dipped into the ash and then plugged into their heart
(Damon takes the dagger)
Damon: How do you know all this, John?
John: Isobel. She's very good at finding out things but of course you know that
Damon: Where is Isobel?
John: Let's just say if she accomplishes what she's attempting, Klaus will never set foot in Mystic Falls. When Elena's concerned, you and I are on the same side
(He leaves)
[Caroline's house]
(Caroline is in her bedroom and is looking at her wounds. Her phone rings, it's Matt)
Caroline: Hi
Matt: Hey. Did something happened?
Caroline: Oh my... I'm so sorry Matt
Matt: Are you okay?
Caroline: Yeah. Something came up with Bonnie and she needed me. A friend thing. You understand?
(Matt turns his head and sees Bonnie and Jeremy laughing at a table)
Matt: Yeah so you're with her right now?
Caroline: Yeah so I'm not gonna make it tonight but can I see you tomorrow?
Matt: Yeah, sure. I hope everything works out. Good night
(He hangs up)
(Someone knocks on the door. It's Tyler. Caroline opens the door)
Tyler: Are you okay?
Caroline: I'm fine
Tyler: I had no idea they would come for you
Caroline: Do you know what they did to me?
Tyler: I'm sorry but it's crazy now okay? I don't know who to trust. You lied to me
Caroline: I lied to protect my friends. I lied to protect you. Don't you get that?
Tyler: Caroline...
Caroline: You just stood there when they were going to kill us. You just stood there! You didn't do anything!
Tyler: I didn't know what to do!
Caroline: You help your friends, that's what you do
Tyler: I'm sorry
Caroline: No it's too late because we're not friends anymore and what happened to me tonight, that will never happen again so you take that back to your little werewolf pack and you get the hell out of my house!
(She slams the door)
[Gilbert's house]
(Elena takes a bottle of water in the fridge and when she closes it, John's here)
John: I'm sorry about earlier
Elena: Enough already. I don't want you here and I can't make that anymore clear
John: I didn't come here to fight with you, Elena
Elena: yeah I know, you're here to protect me. Got it, get in line
John: I thought you might want this. It was you mother's
(He shows her a bracelet)
Elena: Isobel?
John: No, your mother, Miranda. I remember her wearing that when she was young. I found it in a box with some things that your dad left me. Here, it's yours now
(He gives it to her)
John: Miranda and Grayson were your parents, Elena and I know I'm nothing to you. You have no reason to believe me or trust me. I've done so many horrible things but when you lost your parents, I lost my brother, my family. I lost my way. I know that won't probably never gonna make things right with you but I'm gonna do everything I can to protect you and protect this family
(He leaves. She's crying. She turns her head and sees Stefan. She rushes in his arms)
Elena: Are you okay?
Stefan: I'm fine
Elena: Did you hear that? I don't believe him, Stefan. I just don't. what happened tonight? How's Caroline?
Stefan: I could use your help
[Brady's SV]
(Tyler knocks on the door. Jules let him in. she's with Brady)
Jules: Hey, come on in
Tyler: I'm sorry about your friends
(He sits down)
Tyler: It's not always like this, is it?
Jules: No. is it Brady?
Brady: No men. You're living in a vampire country, that's all. It's way better than this
Tyler: Mason didn't tell me anything about it. He was gone. Dead I guess, before he could help me
Brady: I don't get why Mason was even doing here in the first place
Jules: His brother died. You know that Brady
Brady: Why was he stupid enough to stay and get himself killed?
Tyler: Because of this rock he was trying to find
Brady: What rock?
Tyler: A moonstone
(Brady looks at Jules)
Jules: I had no idea
Tyler: What?
Brady: A moonstone? Did he find it?
Tyler: Yeah
Brady: Where is it now?
Tyler: I couldn't tell you
[Caroline's house]
(Stefan knocks on the door. Caroline opens it)
Caroline: What's going on?
Stefan: I was a little bit worried about you after everything you went through tonight
Caroline: I'm fine
Stefan: Good but just in case, I brought some back up
(Elena and Bonnie arrive)
Elena: We're gonna slumber in
Bonnie: We haven't done it in ages
(Caroline cries. They embrace each other. Elena looks at Stefan and tells him she loves him. He tells her he loves her
[Salvatore's house]
(Damon is in his bathtub with Andie Star)
Andie: I can't believe you called me. I thought I was being way to forward when I had Jenna give you my number
Damon: I like a woman who knows what she wants
Andie: Thank you so what do you want mister tall, dark and handsome?
Damon: I'm not that tall. I need a distraction
Andie: You can booty call me anytime you want
Damon: You see, the thing is, miss sexy reporter, I have a problem I need help with. It's really messing with my mind
Andie: Oh, tell me about it
Damon: I'm in love with a woman I could never have
Andie: I knew it. I know how to pick them. So why can't you have her? She's with another man I assume?
Damon: Yeah but that's not the point. The point is I'm in love with her and that drive me crazy. I'm not in control.
Andie: You don't trust yourself around her?
Damon: I don't trust myself around anyone, Andie. I'm bad, Andie. I do things. I kill people
(Suddenly she's afraid but he compels her)
Damon: Don't be afraid, you're okay
Andie: Why do you kill people?
Damon: because I like it. It's in my nature, it's who I am but then I have to stay together to protect her and she wants me to be a better man which means I can't be who I am. Do you see the problem I'm having, Andie?
Andie: Well, maybe this is who you are now. Love does that Damon, it changes us
Damon: Just stop talking. Just kiss me, be my distraction
(they kiss. He bites her and drinks her blood)
[The tomb]
(Katherine is sitting but she hears a noise and gets up. John's here.)
John: I know you were expecting someone else
Katherine: I sent Stefan to find Isobel
John: She got your message. She was busy so she sent me instead
Katherine: Does Stefan know that you're here right now?
John: No. no one does. This is between you, me and Isobel
Katherine: I want to be out of this tomb, John
John: I'm already on it
|
Plan: A: Tyler; Q: Who does Jules want to take with her when she leaves town? A: Caroline; Q: Who does Tyler try to apologize to? A: Mason; Q: Who was killed? A: Jenna; Q: Who becomes upset over the revelation that John is Elena's biological father? A: John; Q: Who says that he returned to protect Elena? A: Jules; Q: Who takes Caroline hostage? A: her wolf-lover Brady; Q: Who does Jules meet? A: Stefan; Q: Who does Caroline ask to reason with Tyler? A: Damon; Q: Who offers a "bloodier" method to deal with the werewolves? A: his "bloodier" method; Q: What does Damon offer as an alternative to Stefan's peace offering? A: her wolf friends; Q: Who does Jules call on for help? A: the cage; Q: What does Tyler release Caroline from? A: watches; Q: What does Tyler do as Jules has Caroline at gunpoint? A: Jonas; Q: Who incapacitates the remaining wolves? A: a white oak; Q: What kind of wood is needed to kill an Original? A: Katherine; Q: Who is John working with? A: the tomb; Q: What is Katherine trying to get out of? Summary: Tyler is furious that Caroline has kept Mason's death secret from him. Jenna becomes upset over the revelation that John is Elena's biological father. Jules meets her wolf-lover Brady and tells him she wants to leave town and take Tyler with them. Caroline asks Stefan to reason with Tyler, while Jules takes Caroline hostage. Jules tells Stefan to bring Tyler to her in exchange for Caroline. Stefan tries to make peace, but he fails, and Damon offers his "bloodier" method. Jules then calls on her wolf friends, and although Damon and Stefan are outnumbered, they kill most of the wolves. Tyler releases Caroline from the cage, but watches as Jules has Caroline at gunpoint. As Stefan and Damon are about to get staked, Jonas, on Elijah's behalf, incapacitates the remaining wolves. Tyler tries to apologize to Caroline, but she tells him they are no longer friends. Tyler tells Jules and Brady that Mason was probably killed because he found the moonstone. John says that he returned to protect Elena, and that the only way to kill an Original is with a dagger dipped in ash from a white oak as old as the Originals. John is shown to be still working with Katherine and trying to get her out of the tomb.
|
Opening scene - Cohen kitchen, morning - the first thing we see is a huge amount of food on the bench. there is a bowl full of eggs, some peeled some not. what appears to be muffins on a plate. some type of meat on another plate, and I think raspberries. the camera pans across and we see 2 plates with 2 muffin things on each, and on top of them is the meat and poached eggs. there is also some red jelly looking thing next to it. we can also see Kirsten's hand holding a spatula which she uses to put a red jelly thing on the plate that doesn't have one. she looks over towards the door just as Ryan comes in. he looks around and then sort of stares when he sees what Kirsten is doing. Seth comes in and does the same. Ryan opens the cupboard and sees that there is not much food in there
Ryan: where's all the cereal
Kirsten: oh I guess we're out
(Seth opens the fridge, looks and then shuts it)
Seth: (shakes head) there's no bagels either
Kirsten: I thought we'd try something new (smiles)
Seth: mom listen to me (looks at Kirsten, seriously) I understand that this whole cooking with Kirsten thing is helping you keep focused, but you cannot preempt a mans regularly scheduled breakfast (Ryan points at Seth in agreement, while eating) (Kirsten looks at him) it is a sacred routine
Kirsten: (sternly) sit
(Seth shuts up and heads over to the end of the bench. he and Ryan sit down)
Kirsten: you are having eggs benedict gruyere avec pate de foie
(Kirsten puts the plates down in front of Seth and Ryan. the eggs now have a yellowy looking sauce over them, and there is half a kiwi fruit on the plates. Seth looks down at his frowning. Ryan looks down at his plate then looks up out of the corner of his eye. we see Sandy come into the kitchen now)
Sandy: somethin smells...(looks) fancy
Kirsten: have a seat, there's plenty
Sandy: oh no thanks ill just grab a bagel an a shmear ta go
Seth: (still frowning) goodluck with that
(Kirsten puts a finishing touch on the boys plates and then looks at them proudly. we hear the phone ring in the background. Ryan leans down and smells the food on his plate. Seth is still frowning at his, lol)
Sandy: (answers phone) hello...oh Dr. Kim thanks so much for gettin back ta me (Kirsten looks over) (looks at Seth and Ryan who are staring back at him) ah-huh
(Sandy motions to Kirsten that he's going to take it in the other room, Kirsten nods and he leaves the kitchen)
Seth: Dr. Kim as in Principal Dr Kim
Kirsten: (nonchalantly) oh, she's probably confirming our reservation for the college fair tonight (smiles)
(Ryan looks as though he doesn't buy it, Seth taps his breakfast with a knife, still not willing to eat it. Ryan notices and laughs. Kirsten also notices)
Kirsten: you know your gonna be exposed to alotta new things in college next year
Seth: yeah horny co-eds an alcohol poisoning, I jus don't think (frowns, looks down) there gonna have French Fusion on the menu
(Kirsten looks away un-amused, Sandy comes back in. he's now off the phone. Kirsten and Seth look at him)
Ryan: they don't want me there tonight do they
Sandy: no, Harbors only hosting and it's a public even, Dr Kim says there is no reason why you cant attend (Ryan looks as though he's thinking) so what'do you say you boys meet us back here an we'll head over together
Seth: sounds good to me (stands up)
(Kirsten smiles and Ryan and Seth start to leave the kitchen)
Seth: hey man give me a ride ta school
Ryan: yeah, we'll hit the drive-thru on the way there
(Kirsten looks to make sure Seth and Ryan have left then looks at Sandy, worried)
Kirsten: what's going on
Sandy: Harbors dean of discipline is making it his personal crusade to ruin Ryan's future (Kirsten looks down) he's attached a note to his transcript detailing his pathologically violent behaviour
Kirsten: Ryan certainly needs ta work on his self control but he's not pathological, and considering everything he's ben through
Sandy: no ones gonna get a chance to consider it (Kirsten looks at him, upset) a letter like that is a red flag ta colleges, an unless it's rescinded (shakes head) no way a reputable school is gonna wanna touch a kid like Ryan
(Kirsten and Sandy both look worried/upset)
Theme song - California by Phantom Planet Summers bedroom - we can see a close up of Summer and Marissa's heads. Marissa is putting on eyeliner and Summer is right next to her with mascara
Summer: (frowns) what colour do I want...wai, come on (nudges Marissa)
(the camera angle changes so that we can now see they are both trying to use Summers mirror, only Summer is only just in the reflection)
Summer: jus go that (nudges Marissa) (sighs) ok (Marissa smiles) your like...twice my height, we can probably figure this out, why don't you (motions)
(Summer bobs down a touch and Marissa stretches up so Summers reflection is under Marissa's)
Summer: is..that..alright
Marissa: mm-hmm
Summer: (fixes hair) solved
Marissa: I'm sorry, you must be so sick'a me being in your way all the time
Summer: oh are you kidding, I date Cohen ok my patience is infinite, besides havin you all up in my space makes me miss you less at school
Marissa: well I miss you guys too (thinks, sits on the bed) you know, we should all do something tonight
Summer: (turns around) you know I told Cohen id go with him ta that um...what is it called that college circus thing, why don't you come with us
Marissa: ta Harbor (raises eyebrows) I think ill pass (nods)
Summer: what it's not like your pictures on the most wanted list
Marissa: have you checked the deans office
Summer: very funny
Marissa: ...look I'm not really thinking big picture right now anyway...I mean college isn't even on my radar
Summer: um (frowns) your a senior in high school how could college not be on your radar
Marissa: (thinks) mm lets see maybe because I'm homeless (raises eyebrows) going ta public school an (raises eyebrows) totally broke
(Summer looks at Marissa. we hear a phone ring in the background)
Marissa: (picks up phone) an yet things could be worse (looks at who's calling, answers almost cheerily) hi mom
(we now see a close up of Julie outside, on her cell phone. she's wearing a wide brim sun hat, sunglasses and she looks great. what we can see of the background also looks nice)
Julie: hi sweetie, jus checking on you how's everything going at Summers
Marissa: (looks at Summer) fine, but I'm kind of worried I might be starting ta wear out my welcome a little
(Summer motions to Marissa that she's wrong)
Julie: well then I have some good news, Kirsten's turned me onto a very promising lead on some beach side property (Marissa listens) so if you could just hang on a little bit longer
Marissa: (nods) sure, I guess
Julie ...great
Marissa: ...is everything ok, mom
Julie: oh I'm fine honey...ok I mean I've ben better but I have a plan and you have nothing to worry about, we'll have lunch at the club this week ok, ill call you
Marissa: ok, bye
(Marissa hangs up and she looks sad/worried. Summer goes over to her)
Summer: (sits on the bed) hey, don't stress out ok you can stay here as long as you want
Marissa: thanks (half smiles)
(Julie hangs up the phone and the shot widens to reveal where exactly Julie is. we see a police officer leading a young guy away, and the police officer almost falls on Julie as he walks passed)
Officer: scuse us ma'm
Julie: ooh (stunned) no problem
(Julie is on a sun lounge next to a small, plain looking pool. in the background we can see 2 levels of motel rooms. poor Julie looks so out of place)
CUT TO: Harbor school - we see a close up of Taylor looking at her sidekick. she smiles and we see a close up of the screen it says,
To: Dartman 4 u, and Taylor finishes typing Lol U R SO NAWTY
Taylor smiles at the screen again. we can now see that she is in the student lounge and Summer is watching her from a distance. Summer frowns, we see Taylor again smiling at the screen. Summer looks frustrated
Seth: hey
(Summer pulls Seth down next to her on the couch)
Summer: look at her, all coy an texty (we see Taylor giggling with her hand over her mouth) (grossed out) I bet its the dean all like come over ta my creepy apartment, ill give you a lesson in discipline
(we see Taylor giggling harder now)
Summer: be afraid Cohen (Seth looks at her) be very, very afraid (Seth moves away slightly) if Taylor isn't stopped who knows how far she'll take her evil agenda
(we see another shot of Taylor looking at the screen of her sidekick)
Seth: well you know she hijacks social chair its not like world domination is inevitable
Summer: yeah, well school domination is, she's got dean Hess in her back pocket, front (mumbles) an who knows where else
Seth: well look I know US Weekly's your bible an believe me I love a good scandal as much as the next guy but (unconvinced) nothing is going on between the dean an Taylor Townsend
Summer: I saw what I saw ok
Seth: yeah in a dark hallway, in the middle of a rage black out, isn't it possible you saw what you wanted ta see
Summer: h- no, no one chooses ta witness something that repellent (screws up face)
(we see Taylor again. she opens her mouth in shock/suprise and brings her hand up. Summer and Seth are still watching her)
Summer: ugh, m id like ta give her a sidekick
(Taylor smiles and walks off, Summer and Seth try to act normal as she walks passed. once Taylor is gone Seth sighs and Summer leans forward and picks up her books)
Seth: where're you goin
Summer: recon
CUT TO: Newport Union - Ryan and Marissa are walking together holding lunch trays
Ryan: (unsure) you sure this is a good idea
Marissa: of course, I want you here
Ryan: does anyone else
Marissa: well there's only one way ta find out (smiles) hi guys (puts tray down)
Casey: hey
Ryan: (softly) hey
(we can now see that Ryan and Marissa are standing at Casey, Johnny & Dennis' table)
Dennis: is this Ryan
Ryan: (puts tray down) yep
Dennis: yeah, I see why you didn't break up with him (nods) chiseled jaw deep soulful eyes, he's pretty
(Ryan looks at Marissa)
Dennis: (points) yo man you ever get struck by lightening I will take care of your woman
Ryan: (smiles) yeah, I'm worried
Johnny: you should be (holds out hand) good to see you again
Ryan: (shakes) hey, yeah good to see you, sorry about the other day, kinda lost my cool
Johnny: hey man you see your girl...talkin ta some guy you don't know, it could happen ta anyone
Casey: so you guys wanna sit with us
Marissa: sure thanks
Casey: cool
(Casey moves down to make room for Marissa and Ryan on her side. Johnny and Dennis are sitting opposite them)
Johnny: (to Ryan) so you blowin off school today
Ryan: uh no actually I'm doin the home-school thing for awhile (sits)
Johnny: home-school I thought that was for like Christians an Hippies
Marissa: (almost proudly, looks at Ryan) and for people who punched the dean in the face at their private school
Dennis: you did that
Ryan: yeah
Johnny: yeah I wish I could home-school, can't wait ta get outta here, though Newport beats the hell outta Brea
Ryan: you're from Brea, where'd you got ta middle school
Johnny: Arovista
Ryan: Chino hills
(Johnny nods)
Casey: c'mon Marissa (stands) lets get some frozen yoghurt
Marissa: uh, ok, Ryan you want anything
Ryan: I'm good, thanks (smiles)
Marissa: ok
Casey: (calls) Dennis you like frozen yoghurt
Dennis: ok yeah I love frozen yoghurt
Casey: yeah c'mon you can hold our tray for us
Dennis: ok
Casey: (to Marissa) trust me the faster they become friends the better off you are (smiles)
(Marissa looks back and we see Johnny and Ryan talking)
Johnny: so we use'ta kick your ass in pee-wee football
Ryan: yeah I know, I use'ta play safety
Johnny: quarterback
Ryan: really
(Marissa and Casey smile at each other and walk off. Dennis is not far behind them)
CUT TO: Harbor school - we see Taylor at her locker and then we see Summer walking in the same direction but down the end of the hall. Taylor shuts her locker and starts walking back towards Summer. Summer panics and quickly turns and goes up the stairs. we then see Taylor walk passed, as she does Summer leans around the corner and watches. she waits a few seconds then starts walking again. Taylor walks up to her
Taylor: ok, at first I thought it was cute, you following me obsessing over me, but the Single White Female thing is so mid nineties (shakes head) and it never ends well for the ugly one
Summer: (mouth open) uh could you be more full'a yourself, I have better things ta do than follow your sorry ass around
Taylor: ok I know it must be hard going from prom queen to...the invisible woman but (Summer looks at her) what're you trying ta prove, that your not just sad an pathetic but your also crazy
Summer: oh you want crazy, oh I will show you crazy
Taylor: ok (puts finger up) you might wanna rethink threatening me, if you haven't noticed I'm kinda close with dean Hess
Summer: oh no, I've noticed (nods) well you know dean Hess he isn't exactly discreet
Taylor: (confused) ok what'does that mean
Summer: never mind, I have ben trying ta erase this image (closes eyes) from my brain like all day, unfortunately I think its gonna take like serious therapy (shakes head)
Taylor: what image
Summer: nothing I...dean Hess could get in like alotta trouble (Taylor looks at her) (whispers) I think it's like sexual harassment or something
Taylor: (whispers) what is
Summer: ...kissing (Taylor looks worried) Miss Applebaum, yeah the volleyball coach...with the toned arms an the legs for miles, I saw them (raises eyebrows) behind the gym bleachers this morning
Taylor: (shocked but then laughs) ok your totally lying
Summer: I wish (closes eyes) the look on Miss Applebaum's face is like permanently burned inta my retinas (screws up her face) god, pure carnal satisfaction (Taylor looks at her) yeah
(we hear the bell ring)
Summer: ohp, sorry (laughs) I guess I gotta go (touches Taylor's arm) you have a super day (shrugs)
(Summer turns away and then turns back)
Summer: I was going this way
(Taylor watches Summer, she looks worried)
CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - we see a close up of a brochure that someone is holding, it says NEWPORT POINT CONDOMINIUMS
Kirsten: so, what'do you think
(we can now see that Julie is the one reading the brochure, and she's sitting at the table)
Julie: aren't condos for old people
Kirsten: (pours drinks) these units were conceived for young professionals, single divorced executive types
Julie: how much are we talking
Kirsten: well since I know the developer personally ten percent gets you in, the rest you can finance
Julie: (thinking) ten percent
Kirsten: Julie, it's a really good investment, an if you need help with the down payment
Julie: (mouth open) I'm not destitute Kirsten, I'm discerning
Kirsten: so should I make a call, set up a walk-through
Julie: (smiles) why not
(we hear the door bell)
Kirsten: uh, wonder who that is
(Julies smile goes as soon as Kirsten leaves the room. Julie holds out her hand in front of the brochure and looks at her wedding ring. she bites her finger and looks as though she's thinking)
(heard in the background)
Kirsten: hi
Charlotte: hi, I was on my way ta the club an I thought you might wanna join me for a bite
(Kirsten and Charlotte are coming into the kitchen)
Kirsten: ooh, its good of you ta stop by
Charlotte: oh I'm sorry I didn't realise you had company
(Julie stands)
Kirsten: n-n-n-n no, Charlotte this is Julie, Julie this is Charlotte
(Charlotte and Julie shake hands)
Julie: hi, nice to meet you (Charlotte smiles)
Kirsten: we met at Suriak
Julie: oh (to Charlotte) are you a doctor
Charlotte: patient
Julie: you know what, I have an appointment I have'ta be getting to so uh Kirsten call me when you hear from your real estate friend (quickly adds) on my cell, my hotel is...terrible about...messages (starts to leave)
Charlotte: nice to meet you
Julie: (looks back) nice to meet you too
Charlotte: (smiles) ok clearly I have got ta learn how ta call ahead, I'm sorry (frowns) I hope I didn't scare your friend away
Kirsten: well it'd take alot more than that ta scare Julie, she was married ta my dad (raises eyebrows)
Charlotte: oh well that would explain the size of the rock on her finger
Kirsten: well he didn't leave her much else
Charlotte: (picks up brochure) Newport Point condominiums
Kirsten: it's not the Taj Mahal but it'll be a good place for her an her daughter ta start over, can I get you some salad we-we have plenty left
Charlotte: oh yeah that'd be great I'm starving actually (smiles) thanks (to herself, Kirsten doesn't hear) so your dad left her with nothing, she must be feelin really vulnerable now
Kirsten: I'm glad you came by
CUT TO: Summers room - we see a pair of legs on a silky looking bed spread. the camera pans across to show that it is Marissa on the bed, and it looks like she's doing homework. Summer is standing near her bed
Summer: c'mon Coop, Ryan's going (raises eyebrows, folds arms)
Marissa: yeah, an I'm sure he'll have a great time with you an Seth
(Summer does a disappointed tsk at Marissa)
Marissa: looks it's not because it's Harbor, and it's not because its college I just have alotta homework
Summer: (doesn't buy it) yeah, yeah sure homework
Marissa: what you want me ta focus on my future, well guess what tomorrow I have a trig exam (holds up homework) that I'm totally gonna fail
Summer: (gives up) ok (nods) sure, ill jus tell everyone you said hi
Marissa: (suprised) ok (raises eyebrows)
Summer: ok, enjoy (leaves)
Marissa: ill be fine
Summer: (calls) later
(Marissa sighs almost sadly)
CUT TO: Harbor school college fair - we see a big board set up in the hall that says STATE COLLEGES & UNIVERSITIES. the camera then pans to show Kirsten, Sandy, Seth, Ryan and Summer in the hall. Seth and Summer are holding hands, aww
Sandy: Ivy League, big ten, fat? ten
Summer: you know college fairs are kinda like shopping its all about brand recognition
Seth: you know Princeton was originally called the college of New Jersey
Summer: hm
Seth: how hard d'you think it'd be ta get in that school
Kirsten: well why don't you ask them
Seth: why not indeed
(Sandy and Ryan smile. Ryan looks around a little nervously)
Sandy: you ok
Ryan: yeah (sighs) yeah fine, just a little weird being back here...I feel like a fugitive
(Kirsten closes her eyes)
Sandy: you have as much right ta be here as anyone (Ryan looks at him) so where d'you wanna start
Ryan: I really don't know
Sandy: (raises eyebrows) I hear Berkeley's an excellent choice (Ryan smiles) very pretty girls too
Kirsten: (smiles) ah an there's the UC sign
Sandy: (to Ryan) sounds good
Ryan: (smiles) sure
(we now see Summer and Seth in the student lounge, they are near the Harvard booth)
Summer: so wait all these schools are in the North East
Seth: yeah so
Summer: so, just a little something I like ta call winter, god your boney ass cant even take it when Newport drops ta seventy (Seth scoffs) (grabs Seth) oh my god wait
(we see what Summer saw which is Taylor and Jack through the window, they are facing each other)
Seth: what
Summer: oooo busted
(Seth looks over and sees Taylor and Jack talking to each other, it looks like a heated argument. Seth sighs)
Summer: now do you believe me, that is totally a couple fight
Seth: yeah, or dean Hess just told Taylor her chances are better at Cornell than Dartmouth
Summer: (looks at Seth) you still don't believe me
Seth: no, I'm jus saying look uh an on campus argument in front of the students (Taylor storms off, Jack looks frustrated) an the faculty an parents is not really proof of a relationship
Summer: ok (raises eyebrows) I'm gonna go get ya proof (walks away)
Seth: (confused) what
(Summer walks over to where Jack & Taylor were, Jack walks inside just before Summer goes out - we now see Ryan, Sandy and Kirsten at a booth, I assume its Berkley. Ryan and Sandy are both reading material)
Guy: what're you interested in studying
Ryan: uh (looks up) iiiiii'm not totally sure
Sandy: Ryan's strong in Math an Physics (Ryan looks at him, smiles)
Kirsten: an he's shown a real aptitude for building an drafting (smiles)
Guy: well maybe architecture, we've got a great program
Ryan: maybe
(we see Jack talking to somebody in the background, he looks over and sees the back of Ryan's head. he is not impressed. Sandy glances up and sees that Jack is glaring at Ryan and starting to head over)
Sandy: ill be right back
(Ryan and Kirsten look up and they both see Jack)
Jack: what is Atwood doing here, he's not ta set foot on this campus
Sandy: I cleared it with Principal Kim, you can keep him from enrolling here but you can't keep him from attending a public event
Jack: I'm calling security
Sandy: unless you have a court ordered injunction against my son (Jack smiles smugly) I recommend you keep your hands off him
Jack: fine, he can stay (Sandy looks at him) but it's a waste of time none'a these schools will even admit him
Sandy: cause'a the letter you attached ta his file
Jack: maybe he'll think twice about assaulting his next victim
Sandy: he made a mistake an he should pay for it, but should the price really be his future
(Jack looks at Sandy. in the background we see Ryan walk over)
Sandy: you're killing his one shot
Jack: (looks at Ryan then Sandy) no, he did that all by himself
(Jack walks away. Sandy turns around and sees Ryan standing there, Ryan looks back at Sandy for a few seconds then leaves the room. Kirsten goes over to Sandy and they both watch helplessly and then look at each other)
CUT TO: The Pool House, next morning - we see Seth come in the open doors with a coffee in his hand
Seth: (sighs) mornin buddy, got up early put on a pot'a regular
(the pool house appears empty)
Seth: Ryan...Ryan (looks around)
(Seth looks at Ryan's bed, it hasn't been made. he shakes his head, worried)
Seth: oh no, oh man
(we hear the sound of a door and Seth looks up just as Ryan comes out of the bathroom, he has a towel on his shoulder)
Seth: (suprised) Ryan, your here
Ryan: where else would I be (touches Seth's arm)
Seth: well after last night I thought ya (frowns) might'a gone greyhound but clearly my concern was unfounded because you're...fine
Ryan: (putting on shoes) sure I mean no one in my family even got through high school...two years ago the thought'a college never even crossed my mind...it was never where I was headed
Seth: yeah, ok (confused) well where are you headed right now, a little uh field trip with your tutor
Ryan: uh I cancelled the tutor, if anyone asks I'm at the library
Seth: good (points) I think that's a good idea, you take a day clear your head...with a little independent study
Ryan: (matter of factly) my head is clear, tutors not coming back (walks passed Seth) I'm done with school
Seth: your dropping out (looks at Seth) an then what
Ryan: I don't know yet (grins and heads towards the house)
Seth: ok well that's a smart move, have you told my parents, have you told Mariss- that's fine, high schools, its overrated I'm sure you'll do fine (shakes head, stunned)
CUT TO: Newport Union - Marissa is at her locker on her cell phone
Marissa: Ryan you can't jus drop outta school, its only gonna make things worse
(we hear the bell ring)
Marissa: I gotta get ta class ok, please lets jus talk after, bye
(during the phone call Johnny had come over)
Johnny: everything ok
Marissa: yeah, great, my boyfriends quitting school
Johnny: why
Marissa: because he doesn't think he can get inta college so he's just giving up (shuts locker)
Johnny: seems like a smart kid I'm sure he'll be alright
Marissa: (looks at Johnny) this time I'm not so sure...his family is kinda screwed up
Johnny: whose isn't
Marissa: ok true (laughs) but Ryan's is really screwed up, an he's got a chance ta be difference than them if he'd jus take it
Johnny: have you told him that
Marissa: (walking up the stairs) oh I don't think he'll listen ta me, infact I don't know who he'll listen to
(we see Johnny looking up at Marissa from the bottom of the stairs, he looks as though he's thinking)
CUT TO: Newport Point Condominiums - we see Julie on the balcony of a big spacious empty condo. it has a beautiful ocean view. a woman comes in and walks over to Julie
Woman: Miss Morgan
Julie: (looks over) no (walks inside) Julie Cooper-Nichol (smiles)
Woman: oh right uh Kirsten Cohen's referral
Julie: door was open so I thought id take a little peek around, gave me a chance ta really visualise myself in the place (looks at her) ill take it
Woman: (suprised) beg your pardon
Julie: I brought the down payment with me, I'm assuming cash is ok
(Julie opens her purse to reveal bundles of notes, we can also see that the wedding ring from earlier is no longer on her finger)
Woman: oh um Miss Cooper
Julie: (corrects) Cooper-Nichol
Woman: I think we may have a little misunderstanding you see when we spoke this morning I was under the impression that this unit wasn't um...right for you
Julie: I beg your pardon
Woman: this is a four bedroom, the one that we talked about is a two bedroom...in the garden
Julie: (shocked) garden...realtor speak for basement right
(Charlotte comes in the door)
Charlotte: hello
Woman: ah, you must be Miss Morgan
Charlotte: yes, hi (Julie looks at her) Julie right, hi w-what're you doin here
Julie: I might ask the same thing
Charlotte: well I'm planning on doing some business in the area (shrugs) an I heard this condo might be a perfect little crash pad but looks like you beat me to it
Julie: actually your timing is perfect (to Woman) I'm sorry I think I'm looking for something with a better view, Charlotte the place is all yours
(Julie leaves and Charlotte looks at the Woman)
Woman: well, follow me Miss Morgan, we'll start with the master (Charlotte nods)
CUT TO: Harbor school - we see a close up of someone writing in a notebook. the camera pans up to show that it's Summer, she rips out what she just wrote and screws it up. we then see Seth come into the student lounge and look around, after a few seconds he spots Summer sitting by herself and goes over to her
Seth: hey (sits) where you ben I've ben looking for you all day
Summer: well I've ben avoiding you
Seth: jus because I don't buy into your whole Taylor an the dean forbidden love delusion (Summer raises her eyebrows) yeah, can we table that for a sec we have a bigger problem ta worry about
Summer: Ryan quitting school (looks at Seth) (Seth nods) I know Marissa told me
Seth: well I think we should do somethin before it's too late
Summer: why do you think I'm writing this letter
Seth: are you starting a petition, that's a pretty good idea
Summer: no it's not a petition dumb ass I'm begging for Taylor's forgiveness
Seth: hm you had me an then you...I think you lost me (smiles)
Summer: ok, if Taylor thinks that dean Hess is sorry maybe they'll get back together an then we can expose them an use that as a leverage (raises eyebrows) ta get Ryan back in school
Seth: (takes it all in) huh
CUT TO: Cohen kitchen - Kirsten is on the phone
Kirsten: no-no-no I-I I understand...uh can I-can I call you right back, thanks
(Sandy is now in the kitchen. Kirsten hangs up and looks worried, she has one hand on her hip)
Sandy: what's goin on
Kirsten: that was Ryan's tutor...calling for her final paycheck...
Sandy: (confused) what
Kirsten: Ryan told her that he would no longer be needing her services (closes eyes) since he wont be finishing high school (looks at Sandy)
Sandy: where's Ryan now
Kirsten: well Seth said he was at the library
Sandy: well one kid droppin outta school the other kid lying, an I thought today was gonna be boring
(Kirsten smiles at Sandy, but she still looks worried)
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO: The diner - Ryan is sitting in a booth by himself. he has a newspaper and a red pen in his hand. we see Johnny walk in and go over to him
Johnny: hey man
Ryan: (looks up) hey Johnny
Johnny: Marissa said they had the best burgers in town, figured I should check it out for myself
Ryan: they are, come on in
(Johnny sits down and there is an awkward silence for a few seconds)
Ryan: ...so she told you what's goin on
Johnny: ...might'a mentioned it
Ryan: well no offense but you barely know me
Johnny: (looks at the menu) which is why I'm not here ta talk you inta anything, I mean I'm not goin ta college, figured id do alright in a few surf competitions next year, maybe hook up with some sponsors (looks at Ryan) turn that into a career you know, its a simple plan but
Ryan: better than what I got (raises eyebrows) thought id get a job, figure things out after I make a little money
Johnny: (nods) what kinda job're you lookin for
Ryan: did construction last summer, hours were long but I liked the work
Johnny: (thinks) my uncle has this commercial fishing operation, he's always lookin for new guys, you know its kinda brutal but you can't beat the pay
Ryan: think he'd give me a shot
Johnny: if you want ill take you down there
(Ryan looks at Johnny)
CUT TO: Cohen kitchen, night - we see Seth, Sandy and Kirsten sitting at the table. Ryan is nowhere to be seen. Sandy looks at his watch then taps on the table
Seth: he could be off joining a foreign legion, joining a cult...Ryan could be...(shakes head) I don't know he could be takin place in a mass marriage right now drinkin cool aide from brand new sneakers...so many sick things
Kirsten: I'm gonna try his cell again (gets up)
(Sandy looks worried. Ryan comes in)
Ryan: hi
Kirsten: (stops, relieved) Ryan
(Sandy and Seth look over)
Seth: dude, where were you, we were about ta sound an amber alert
Ryan: I'm sorry
(Kirsten fixes Ryan a plate of dinner)
Sandy: look I know you've had a rough twenty four hours an I am a firm believer that every man deserves his space, you can't go off like that
Ryan: it won't happen again (smiles)
Sandy: listen lucky for you I was able ta do a little damage control with your tutor, she's agreed ta come this weekend ta make up for what you missed today
Ryan: oh uh well I appreciate that but (holds out a piece of paper and a pen) um
Sandy: what's this (takes it)
Ryan: uh it's a guardian release form (sits) I got a job
Sandy: oh
Ryan: on a boat
(Sandy and Kirsten look stunned)
Seth: you mean like a...a cruise ship cause you don't really seem like the type (Ryan smiles)
Sandy: this is a joke right...these boats go out for weeks at a time (Ryan nods) ...your not of age
Ryan: well that's why I need your signature
Sandy: so you wanna throw away your future so you can go work on a fishing boat
Ryan: c'mon my futures already trashed, tried it your way it didn't work
Sandy: (stern) you have'ta keep trying
Ryan: (loud) no I don't
(Seth looks at Ryan, Kirsten looks at Sandy. both Ryan and Sandy are looking at each other)
Ryan: I have ben trying...an I appreciate everything you've done for me I really do but I...need (looks at Sandy) ta make my own decisions...an I am asking you...ta let me go
(Sandy looks at Ryan. Ryan looks at Sandy. Seth looks at Ryan and then Sandy. Kirsten looks from Ryan to Sandy. Sandy looks away from Ryan and at the bit of paper, after a few seconds he puts it on the table and goes to sign)
Kirsten: Sandy
Seth: dad
(Sandy signs the paper. Kirsten Seth and Ryan are all watching him. Sandy hands the paper back to Ryan. Ryan takes it and nods, satisfied. Ryan starts eating and Kirsten and Seth are just sitting there shocked)
CUT TO: Fishing boat, the next morning - we see a whole heap of guys who I assume work for Johnny's uncle. there is some crew talk here but I can only understand about half so ill leave it, it's just like do this, do that it's coming out of your paychecks. Ryan walks over
Ryan: Mr. Harper
Uncle: yeah
Ryan: uh Ryan Atwood from yesterday
Uncle: (looks up) oh yeah Johnny's friend right
Ryan: yeah
Uncle: (holds out a clipboard) hold this (continues working) uh look kid we don't need part-timers right now, check back next summer (calls) give me a needle somebody
Ryan: (pulls out paper) yeah about that I got the uh I got the signature I can-I can do full time
Uncle: (takes the paper) you know this isn't puttin bait on hooks, its hard work, you mess up out there you don't get fired you get hurt
Ryan: (nods) I worked construction I can handle it, I-id really appreciate the chance
Uncle: yeah (laughs) that's because you don't know better (looks at Ryan) alright, yeah we got a spot open on the Gail, preppin her right now
Ryan: oh great how-how longs she gonna be out
Uncle: depends on the action, I guess about three weeks (Ryan listens) she shoves off tomorrow at sunset, you got a problem with that
Ryan: no sir (shakes head) just uh got some loose ends ta tie up
Uncle: yeah, don't we all, alright don't be late (walks off)
CUT TO: Cohen bedroom - Kirsten is over near the window looking out at the ocean. Sandy comes in
Sandy: hey
Kirsten: (turns around) oh hey (smiles) how was surfing
Sandy: pretty calm, had time ta do some soul searching
(Kirsten and Sandy kiss. aww)
Kirsten: you gonna talk to him
Sandy: I'm stickin with our plan
Kirsten: your plan, Sandy, he's leaving on a boat tomorrow this is the wrong time ta be stubborn
Sandy: honey (looks at Kirsten) I'm stubborn all the time (Kirsten looks at him) we can't force Ryan ta make the right choice
(Sandy leaves the room. Kirsten follows him)
Kirsten: uh, yeah but we can stop him from making a horrible mistake, from permanently knocking his life off course
Sandy: yeah, it's a course we set for him
Kirsten: (thinks) would you let Seth do this
Sandy: oh (laughs) we kinda did
Kirsten: no, no that was different it was summer he didn't miss school an it was Seth, we knew he'd come back
Sandy: (thinks) you know in Ryan's position at his age I can't say I wouldn't be doin the same thing (shrugs) I left home at seventeen
Kirsten: yeah ta start your life not throw it away
Sandy: Ryan doesn't want this, he'll come around but (shakes head) we gotta let him get there on his own
Kirsten: (worried) an what if he doesn't
(Sandy and Kirsten are now in the kitchen. Sandy stops when he sees Marissa come in from outside, she appears to be looking for Ryan)
Marissa: hey
Kirsten: oh hi sweetie
Marissa: (frowns) have you guys seen Ryan, he hasn't ben returning my calls
Kirsten: oh, he should be home soon
Marissa: this thing with the dean has really gotten to him
Sandy: I think the best thing we can do is support him (shrugs) no matter what
Kirsten: so you wanna what, throw him a going away dinner
(Marissa looks at Sandy and Kirsten confused, she has no idea about the boat yet)
Sandy: mm that's not a bad idea
Marissa: wait, where is he going
(Kirsten and Sandy realise Marissa doesn't know that he is about to leave on a commercial fishing boat for three weeks. Marissa looks at them, lost)
CUT TO: Summers bedroom - Summer is sitting at her computer reading out something on the screen
Summer: you are like a warm breeze blowing down Vanice? Boulevard, from Encino to Rositto? there is nothing as beautiful as you, your eyes are as blue as a smogless day aft-
(during Summers poem Seth has come into her room)
Seth: (frowns) what the hell is that
Summer: (looks up) oh, well I lifted it from the season finale of The Valley, you know when Manwell was busting a move on April when she found out that Jake was sleeping with her mom
Seth: right, that was riveting stuff
Summer: yeah, will you proof it for me (stands)
Seth: listen we have'ta act fast, Ryan's about a yellow slicker an a grey beard away from becoming the Gorton's fisherman (sits)
Summer: huh (shakes head) yeah not getting the reference
Seth: he got a job on a fishing boat, leaves tomorrow night
Summer: wait what, what are you serious (Seth nods) your dad's jus like letting him go
Seth: pullin the old Sandy Cohen Jedi mind meld on him, tryin'a break his will by agreeing with him
Summer: oh like he did with you, which you fell for because you are both spineless an weak
Seth: yes exactly (points) but this is Ryan we're talkin about so if Taylor's gonna fall for your plan we need ta speak in a language she'll understand
Summer: oh (raises eyebrows) are you tryin ta say that you believe me (raises eyebrows)
Seth: uh no not exactly there's jus no other options, d'you have her cell phone number
Summer: what, we're not gonna call her she's not a moron she's just evil
Seth: we're not gonna call her my little dim sum (holds up a box) we're going to text her
Summer: what is that
Seth: (pulls out Sidekick) or should I say dean Hess is (hands it to Summer)
Summer: (excited) you got the bedazzled one, pink too
Seth: yeah
Summer: (opens the screen) but we can't text her an apology, wait we're texting her an apology (confused)
Seth: mm-mm an invitation, I got a room at the Mermaid motel (raises eyebrows)
Summer: you mean the place where Ryan may (raises eyebrows) or may not have conceived Theresa's baby an where Marissa's mom (raises eyebrows) an Luke got it on
Seth: Newport's very own den of sin (smiles)
Summer: eww (nods) but I like it
Seth: we can even...I mean if we have some free time (Summer looks at him) whatever
CUT TO: The Pool House - Marissa is sitting cross legged on the foot stool near the open doors, she looks very dazed and out of it. Ryan comes in, he sees Marissa
Marissa: (a little pointed) hope you don't mind, I'm early for your going away party
Ryan: (lost) my what
Marissa: oh well Sandy an Kirsten wanna have a send off party for you (Ryan looks at her) since apparently your leaving
Ryan: ...I was gonna tell you
Marissa: it slipped your mind
Ryan: no (moves closer) I was waiting for the right time...since I thought (sits on the bed) you might not understand
Marissa: understand what, that you're becoming a fisherman
Ryan: it's not about the job (Marissa looks at him) I need ta make a change
Marissa: a change
Ryan: n-not from us
Marissa: right (stands, upset) cause you taking off for weeks at a time wont change us at all (starts to leave)
Ryan: its not forever (Marissa looks at him)...its jus- it's just until
Marissa: until when, the dean lets you back (raises eyebrows) inta Harbor cause that may never happen
Ryan: (looks at Marissa) I need you to understand
Marissa: (turns away) consider it understood
(Marissa leaves. Ryan just sits there)
CUT TO: out the front of Julie's motel - Charlotte is in a car with the guy from before, Glen. he's driving
Glen: you sure about this Julie Cooper
Charlotte: definitely, she's got all the right connections an nothing left ta lose
Glen: I hope so, you better be right
Charlotte: I know what I'm doin babe
(Charlotte kisses Glen - we are now inside Julies room. she is looking at her practically empty fridge. she takes the last beer out and the empty carton falls out with it. she kicks it then tries to get the bottle cap off with her hands. she cant do it so she rests it against the edge of the fridge and bangs it hard with her other hand)
Julie: oww, damn it (sucks finger)
(we hear a knock at the door. Julie opens the door and Charlotte his standing there)
Charlotte: hi (smiles)
Julie: (shocked) what the hell are you doing here
Charlotte: I hope you don't mind me tracking you down, I got your address from the realtor
Julie: are you stalking me
Charlotte: (laughs) no but I can see why you would think that, can I come in
Julie: uh you really don't want to, and no
Charlot
|
Plan: A: Dean Hess; Q: Who do Sandy, Seth and Summer blackmail? A: Harbor; Q: What is the name of the school? A: Charlotte; Q: Who makes Julie an offer she can't refuse? Summary: Sandy, Seth and Summer find a way to blackmail Dean Hess into letting Ryan back into Harbor. Meanwhile, Charlotte makes Julie an offer she can't refuse. This episode is named after the film of the same name.
|
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Previously on Veronica Mars... Weevil walks into O'Dell's office to find him slumped over his desk in 309 "Spit and Eggs." Cut to Mindy in Keith's office in 310 "Show Me the Monkey."
MINDY: I didn't kill Cyrus, Keith. Neither did Hank Landry. But someone did.
KEITH: I'll take the case.
Keith and Steve Batando walk out of the Balboa County Sheriff's Department in 305 "President Evil."
STEVE: You tell my ex-wife I own her now. No more talk of alimony, no more child support. We're beyond even. Steve drives off in Mindy's Porsche. Cut to Veronica coming down the stairs at the Pi Sig party in 309 "Spit and Eggs."
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Tim Foyle? This can't be good. Veronica watches as an emotional Tim finds Bonnie and Dick.
TIM: That's it, Bonnie. I've had enough.
Cut to Madison having fun telling Veronica all about it in the lingerie store in 311 "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves."
MADISON: Logan and I hooked up in Aspen over the holidays. I guess you two were split, huh? Veronica is gutted. End previously.
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT.
Music: "Western Meadowlark" by Brown Recluse Sings.
LYRICS: The country is destroying itself outside your window Hear the pulsing machines breaking down See the buildings crumble to the ground You, perched on the edge of your comfortable bed Like a beautiful songbird
Veronica, her fingers entwined in Logan's, wakes up. She glances back at Logan and smiles. She slides carefully out of bed. Logan stirs and smiles, cuddling her pillow.
LOGAN: Hmm. He watches her as she dresses.
LOGAN: I don't want you to go. She looks back at him adoringly.
VERONICA: I wish I didn't have to. Veronica leaves the bedroom and picks up her sweater from the couch. She puts it on, struck by something outside. She walks out to the balcony where the wind is howling. The balcony is covered in snow. As she looks out, instead of the usual Neptune vista, she sees the mountains of Aspen. She observes the phenomenon more in wonder than in confusion and wraps her sweater closer around her. There's a girlish giggle from inside the suite. Veronica walks back in slowly, approaching the bedroom. Madison is naked and astride Logan. They kiss. Madison looks back over her shoulder at Veronica in triumph. Veronica stares at them in shock. End music: "Western Meadowlark" by Brown Recluse Sings.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY.
Veronica wakes up from her dream/nightmare at the sound of a ringing phone. She reaches for it wearily.
VERONICA: Hello?
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - CONTINUING.
Logan is walking towards the sideboard in his suite.
LOGAN: Either you're affecting a sexy phone voice or you even make "hello" sound good.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
Veronica's mind flashes back to Madison on top of Logan.
VERONICA: What time is it? She sits up and groans.
VERONICA: I've got to go. I'm late for work.
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - CONTINUING.
Logan starts making himself a hot drink.
LOGAN: Work, right. Are you sure you're not getting a body wrap and a blow out for our fancy date tonight.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
Veronica doesn't have the energy or heart to play along and her responses are flat.
VERONICA: You got me. I better haul ass if I want to fit in that brow shaping.
LOGAN: [on phone] And Veronica?
VERONICA: Yeah?
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - CONTINUING.
LOGAN: Don't go changing.
He grins.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
She doesn't, still wrapped up in dream and her exhaustion.
VERONICA: See you later. She switches off the cell phone and sets it down on the coffee table. She rubs her hand across her face.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Oh, I've changed, from a girl who slept to one who doesn't. Closing my eyes means popping in the Madison tape and pressing play.
EXT - HEARST COLLEGE, LIBRARY - DAY.
Veronica is having a hard time concentrating. She half-heartedly sorts some pens and then throws them down, leaning her head against her hand. She doesn't hear the footsteps that approach her.
BONNIE: [offscreen] Veronica? Veronica jerks her head around. Bonnie, last seen at the Pi Sig party in 309 "Spit and Eggs," approaches the help desk in some trepidation.
VERONICA: Bonnie.
BONNIE: Can we talk?
VERONICA: Sure.
BONNIE: Tim's talked about you. A lot.
VERONICA: Affectionately, I'm sure. So what can I do for you?
BONNIE: Um...
Bonnie drops her head and pauses to gather her courage.
BONNIE: I got pregnant and someone slipped me RU-486.
VERONICA: RU...?
BONNIE: It causes a miscarriage and I want you to find out who it was.
Opening credits.
EXT - HEARST COLLEGE, LIBRARY - CONTINUING.
Veronica walks around the desk to face Bonnie.
VERONICA: The miscarriage...you're sure it was intentional?
BONNIE: I didn't think so at first, but then the doctor saw that I had this weird rash and that my hands and feet were numb. He said it looked like I was having an allergic reaction to the RU-486. I told him I didn't take any. He did a blood test. Confirmed it.
Another student walks by them nearby and Veronica leads Bonnie towards the bookcases to get some privacy.
VERONICA: I'm so sorry, Bonnie. I'm looking for the least rude way to ask you if you know who the father was... Veronica takes a deep breath.
VERONICA: And that's what I came up with.
BONNIE: It was Tim...or Dick.
VERONICA: Fair enough. So, did Tim or Dick know about the baby?
BONNIE: They both did. At first I was just so freaked out, I didn't even think I wanted to keep the baby. I went to Dick and asked if he'd help pay for the procedure.
A student (whose line must have been cut as he's in the credits as Russian Lit. Student) starts looking at the shelf near them, so Veronica pulls Bonnie deeper into the stacks.
VERONICA: How did that go?
BONNIE: He said he'd pay...after I got a paternity test.
VERONICA: Yeah. He's a classy dude.
BONNIE: But Tim has been so sweet. I mean, he is just so great in crisis mode.
VERONICA: You two are back together?
BONNIE: Right. I forgot you saw the famous Pi Sig-party fight. I felt awful. I just left Dick at the party to go see Tim.
The Russian Lit student drifts closer again. After giving him a look of exasperation, Veronica pulls Bonnie away again.
BONNIE: I had to beg. But he forgave me.
VERONICA: Excuse me for asking, but...why Tim?
BONNIE: It'll sound twisted, but Tim takes care of me. He's like my dad that way.
VERONICA: Okay, then. So, how did Tim react in the moment you told him?
BONNIE: I didn't tell him. He found out.
They reach the stairs to the next floor and sit down on them.
BONNIE: We got back to my place one night, and there was this balloon bouquet from my parents. Bonnie does air quotes.
BONNIE: "Congrats from Grandma and Grandpa." Any other guy would have lost it, but Tim offered to marry me.
VERONICA: [intrigued] Your parents sent balloons?
BONNIE: Turns out our family doctor's not the firmest believer in the whole doctor/patient confidentiality...which, um, kind of changed the equation in terms of keeping the baby or not...'cause my parents are pretty religious. And then, you know, Tim wanted me to keep the baby.
Veronica nods.
VERONICA: I'll see what I can find out.
BONNIE: Just please, Veronica, don't let Tim know I hired you. I would feel horrible if he even thought for a second that I didn't trust him.
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT.
Logan is sitting on the bed in his room in the suite. He's got on a shirt and tie, and is concentrating on putting in his cufflinks. He hears steps and looks up. Veronica arrives at the door, not dressed up. She has her arms wrapped tightly around her body. Her eyes glitter with wetness.
LOGAN: Jeans. Bold choice. I hope the maitre d' is fashion-forward.
VERONICA: Did you and Madison have s*x over winter break?
Logan looks up at her, horrified and then drops his head. She knows the answer from his face.
VERONICA: [strangled] I asked you point-blank. LOGAN: And I lied. He slowly rises to his feet and walks towards her.
LOGAN: Point-blank. It wasn't information that you had a right to know. I knew you wouldn't be able to deal with the Madison thing.
VERONICA: [with increasing anger] Which thing are you talking about? The "she roofied me" thing or the thing when I stumbled to my car in the morning, wondering where my virginity was, and she'd written "slut" on my windshield? Was that what you thought I couldn't deal with? I am so genuinely sick right now. If I could have eaten anything today, I'd be throwing up all over your floor.
She turns and starts walking out.
LOGAN: [desperately] We were broken up at the time. Veronica whirls around, her face contorted with emotion.
VERONICA: You know how I feel about her. There's no way that, at some point while it was happening, that you weren't thinking about how much I'd hate you being with her.
LOGAN: It wasn't like that.
VERONICA: No? Do you want another variation?
Veronica gestures weakly at her head.
VERONICA: 'Cause I've got a million sickening scenarios running on a loop right now. Her words bring flash images of Madison giggling and being naked with Logan. Logan steps towards her.
LOGAN: I wasn't trying to hurt you. Veronica jerks back, away from him.
VERONICA: Oh. Really? Imagine if you tried. Veronica turns around again to walk out. Logan follows her.
LOGAN: What do you want me to do? What can I do? She stops and turns back, the anger gone. Her lips quiver.
VERONICA: Make it not true? Get it out of my head and never let me think about it again? 'Cause...unless you can do that, this is something I'm never getting past. She turns and leaves, and this time Logan lets her go. He stares after her, distressed and fighting back the tears.
EXT - O'DELL RESIDENCE - DAY.
Keith and Backup are at the door of a large house, although small by 09er standards. Keith knocks. Mindy opens the door and smiles.
MINDY: Hello, Mr. Mars. She chuckles at the sight of Backup.
KEITH: I was out dog-walking, and I thought of a question I wanted to ask. You know we're only ten blocks away? MINDY: No, I didn't. KEITH: I thought I'd save myself a phone call. There seems to be a discrepancy in the police report concerning your husband's death. I mean, knowing the sheriff, I'm sure it's a mistake. MINDY: What did you find? KEITH: It says a minivan was parked in Cyrus' spot the night he was killed. My daughter told me he normally drove an old Volvo? MINDY: He did. The minivan's mine. We traded cars for the weekend. Cyrus needed the van to haul his son's drum kit around while I was out of town. She gestures to the house's interior.
MINDY: Would you like some coffee?
KEITH: Oh, I'm afraid he wouldn't stand for it. In another thirty seconds, he's gonna pull my arm out of the socket if we don't get moving.
Mindy smiles. Keith starts away from the door.
KEITH: But, uh, thanks for the info, and, uh, I'll keep you posted on what I find. Mindy waves him off.
EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.
Dick has found himself an ideal leering spot at a busy pedestrian intersection. He is sitting on a stone bench in the centre with a plastic cup of coffee, watching the girls go by.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: The best way to forget about your own problems? Dive into someone else's. Veronica slides next to him. He's not pleased to see her.
VERONICA: So, Bonnie Capistrano tells me you knocked her up and blew her off.
DICK: Yeah, whatever happened with that?
VERONICA: You do your hair like that to cover up the three sixes on your scalp, right?
DICK: I told her to get a paternity test. I'm not here to help her turn a profit.
VERONICA: I just feel like you have this wadded-up Maxim magazine where your heart is supposed to be.
DICK: Oh, I'm heartless? First Duncan, now Logan. You're running out of rich bachelors' heads to mess with. Is it some kind of weird sport for you, you know, breaking dudes' hearts? What, you put another notch on your lipstick case?
VERONICA: Logan slept with Madison when you guys were in Aspen.
This cuts, although Dick hides it as well as he can. He shrugs as if it is no big deal.
DICK: And? Veronica can see how upset he is and has a momentary pang of conscience.
VERONICA: Sorry, Dick, I probably shouldn't have...
DICK: Wot, me worry? Can we be done? I've got things to do.
He looks up and spots someone.
DICK: Redheaded things. [shouting] Nadia! Dick gets up and chases after the girl as Veronica watches.
NADIA: There's my big, dumb blonde. They walk off together and Dick takes the opportunity to throw his arm around Nadia's shoulders. He glances back at Veronica defiantly.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: It must be a liberating thing not to be cursed with a moral compass.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - DAY.
Veronica knocks on a dorm room door. The whiteboard displays various messages: "#1 this is #2 do u read?" "Kermit the Frog? He He He," "are you going 2 studygroup," "Ask Why?" "Lacey was here," and "Complacent Reasoning establishes unrealistic ra...." The door is opened by a pretty girl.
VERONICA: Hi. Is Bonnie here?
PHYLLIS: She's still at class. You're Veronica? Bonnie told me about you. I'm Bonnie's roommate, Phyllis. Come on in.
Phyllis waves Veronica into the room. The first part of the room is Bonnie's and is covered with archaeological objects and posters.
VERONICA: Wow. Raiders of the lost dorm room.
PHYLLIS: Oh, yeah. God, Bonnie would love that. Her dream is to be the female Indiana Jones.
Veronica walks through to Phyllis's half, where she is putting on a sweater. Her walls disclose nothing more than a regard for Josh Ritter.
PHYLLIS: She can spend three hours watching a documentary on people digging up a tooth. Phyllis starts gathering her books together.
VERONICA: So, you know what happened to Bonnie?
PHYLLIS: Yeah, Bonnie and I have been best friends since seventh grade. Not much happens in our lives that we don't share.
VERONICA: What do you think about Bonnie getting back with Tim?
PHYLLIS: I hated the arrogant little toad from the first time she introduced him.
VERONICA: Don't hold back, Phyllis.
PHYLLIS: I've kind of turned a corner on Tim, though. The boy came through in the clutch. He found out about the baby, and he stepped up. He bought her What to Expect When You're Expecting. He got her, like, prenatal vitamins.
VERONICA: So he was handing her pills? Could he-
PHYLLIS: There's no way it was Tim. He offered to marry her. He was gonna talk to her dad and everything, and you know how intimidating that would be.
VERONICA: Yeah, Bonnie said her family is pretty religious.
PHYLLIS: Do you not know about her dad?
VERONICA: Should I?
Phyllis doesn't answer but instead finds the remote control. She switches on the television.
TV: $5,000...
Phyllis zaps, passing a noir film, until she finds the channel she wants. A man is preaching. Behind him is a large banner inscribed with the legend "Capistrano Ministries." The same words are at the bottom of the screen.
REV. CAPISTRANO: ...and if there's only one thing you got to remember, it's this...
PHYLLIS: There's Papa Capistrano. He's on all the time.
REV. CAPISTRANO: God may hate the sin, but god loves you.
CONGREGATION: [offscreen] Amen.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Say it to yourself. God loves you.
CONGREGATION: [offscreen] God loves you.
VERONICA: Bonnie's a preacher's daughter. How very Footloose.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, TIM'S OFFICE - NIGHT.
Veronica walks past a janitor who is cleaning the floor of the dark and deserted hallway.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Unless Tim was able to convince a gynaecologist he was a pregnant female, I'm betting he scored the RU-486 online. If I can't question Tim, maybe his computer will give me some answers. Veronica gets to the door of Tim's office but is thwarted as the door is locked. She glances back at the janitor.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Sometimes when things don't work out the way a girl wants them to, there's nothing quite as satisfying as the hissy fit. Veronica rattles the doorknob with a show of increasing frustration and distress.
VERONICA: [whining] Oh, I hate this stupid day! Ugh! She gives the door a final try by trying to break through with her back and then slides down into a heap. The janitor looks over with concern. Veronica, as much as she can crouched at the foot of the door, stamps her feet.
VERONICA: Uuuugh! She starts to "cry" loudly.
JANITOR: Are you okay? She sniffs wetly.
VERONICA: [sobbing] No. This is, like, the worst day ever of my entire life. I was supposed to meet my brother at his office, and he's not here. And he's not picking up his cell, and he's not even my brother anyway because my parents just told me I'm adopted. The janitor sighs and looks at the door.
JANITOR: Is this his office?
VERONICA: Uh-huh.
The janitor leans his broom against the wall and gets out his keys. He opens the door for her and watches her enter. She turns to face him, wiping her nose on her sleeve dramatically.
VERONICA: Thanks. You've been so helpful. She gives him a quivering smile and he shuts the door. Veronica walks over to the door, watching his image through the frosted glass as it moves away from the door. She looks and takes a big breath of relief. She heads for Tim's desk.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: It's so much easier letting the twitch of a man's lip tell you he's guilty than relying on him to not empty the cache on his hard drive... On screen, a password is requested. Veronica sags back into the chair.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Or trying to figure out his password. Onto Plan B. She sneers at the screen. She sighs and sets her bag on the desk. She searches through her bag and pulls out a device.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT.
Veronica is in bed, restless. She stares at the ceiling.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: The only thing worse than being up all night obsessing over Madison Sinclair is knowing how much she'd enjoy it.
An image flashes up: Madison and Logan naked in bed with Logan pulling Madison's head down to kiss her. Veronica presses her hands to her face.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: If I have to see this one more time, I'm having my frontal lobe removed. She sighs. She hears the door and leaps out of bed. Keith is just entering the apartment. He throws his case down on the kitchen counter. He looks up to see Veronica coming through from her room.
KEITH: Good. You're up. I've got a little conundrum. Veronica slumps onto one of the counter stools.
KEITH: Nish says she egged the dean's Volvo on campus the night he was murdered. Veronica is hardly listening, looking down at her hand at which she is picking.
KEITH: Mindy says she had the Volvo parked at the Neptune Grand all night. Any guess as to who's lying? VERONICA: [listlessly] Both of them? I don't know. KEITH: Your lack of opinion concerns me. VERONICA: Logan and I broke up...again. My idea this time. KEITH: Ah, I am sorry. You doing okay? VERONICA: No... She forces out a strained laugh
VERONICA: No, no, no, no, no. Keith reaches out and takes her head in his hands. He kisses her forehead gently. Veronica, close to tearing up, makes a quick exit.
VERONICA: Night. Keith watches her go with concern.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.
Veronica approaches Tim who is just finished a conversation with a colleague. When he sees Veronica, he starts walking quickly back to his office.
TIM: I'm in a hurry, Veronica.
VERONICA: I know you enjoy screwing with me, but it's kind of losing its charm.
TIM: I have no idea what you're talking about.
VERONICA: I checked my grade online. It said I got a B. You and I both know I got an A.
TIM: I entered an A. You were looking at someone else's grade.
He stops and turns to look at her.
VERONICA: Like I didn't look carefully. Either you did this on purpose, or you messed up the entry. Tim looks down at the floor and sighs deeply. He goes into his office.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, TIM'S OFFICE - CONTINUING.
Veronica follows him in.
TIM: Why didn't you print out a grade report, hmm? She follows him around to his side of his desk as he bends over his computer.
VERONICA: I shouldn't have to. I should have the grade I earned. Tim hesitates and looks at her.
TIM: Veronica?
VERONICA: Yes?
He indicates his desk.
TIM: My space. He indicates the other side of it.
TIM: Your space. He grasps his hands together in a prayer and Veronica finally walks back around the desk. She takes a seat in the visitor's chair. Tim goes into his computer. Veronica fiddles with a role of black tape under the desk, unseen by Tim.
TIM: Ah, here it is. An A, like I said.
VERONICA: Huh. Maybe I was looking at someone else's grade.
Veronica shrugs and rises from the desk. Tim watches.
EXT - NEPTUNE STREETS - DAY.
Veronica is sitting in her car.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: If there is a justification for my actions right now, it's this. Veronica squeezes her eyes shut.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have gone completely crazy. She looks across the street. Madison is exiting a day spa.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: When I'm lying in bed and I can't sleep because of visions of Madison and Logan rolling around, she wins. When I've got her in my sights, I'm in control. Madison hands her parking ticket to the valet and sighs with impatience as he runs to get her car. Cut to a little later. Madison, driving a BMW convertible, pulls into a house. It appears that the Sinclairs have moved since last seen in 111 "Silence of the Lamb." Veronica, now wearing sunglasses and a cap, pulls up on the other side of the road and watches as Madison get a large, full laundry basket out of the boot of the car.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: How does it empower you, Veronica, to know Madison brings her laundry home from USC each weekend? Shut up, sane Veronica. I'm in charge now. A dark-haired man, presumably Mr. Sinclair, meets Madison partway to the house and takes the basket from her. He sets it down and takes her arm. He leads her back to the driveway in front of the garage. One of the doors of the garage opens automatically. There are shouts and claps.
MADISON'S FAMILY: Surprise! A brand new red Mercedes CLK 350 is slowly backed out. It has a large red bow on it. It bears the licence plate GOTZMINE.
MADISON: Aah! Oh, my god! Madison hugs the driver who, if she's Mrs. Sinclair, has gone blonde.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: And watching her get a new Mercedes for her birthday...very healing. At least it's reminded me that I need to buy Mac a present.
MADISON: Oh! Thank you!
Veronica aims the camera at the licence plate and takes a picture.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: "Gotzmine." You win, crazy Veronica. She's all yours.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, TIM'S OFFICE - NIGHT.
The door into the office squeaks as it slowly opens. A hand reaches down and tears away the strip of black tape obstructing the lock. Veronica enters. She gets to Tim's desk and computer. It is still asking for a password. Veronica turns on the lamp. She reaches up and pulls a small device from the inside of the lampshade. She pulls out something that looks like an iPod and, by technical wizardry that I'm incompetent to describe, she downloads the film from device to device to Tim's computer, finally getting a shot of Tim's keyboard. She slides it forward to the time she was in Tim's office earlier.
TIM: [on video] My space. Your space. Veronica raises a derisive brow. On the film, Tim starts to log on. Veronica slows it down and writes what she sees on her hand.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: His password is "Dick Tracy"? Aw. That is adorable. Veronica logs on to the computer. Tim's wallpaper is a silhouette of Sherlock Holmes.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Okay, Tim, let's see where were you browsing three weeks ago? Veronica pulls us the internet history. Amongst the sites listed are for that day are: Monomania Magazine - If You're Going to College", "MonTele - The News Leaders", "ZowiePedia Beta 2.2", "Balboa County Sheriff's Department Website", "PlanetZowie - Search the Web", "Weather Report - Zip Code 90909", "Hearst College - Grover Hayes Library Refined", "Nationwide Crime Statistics - Murder Document. Those partially listed for the day before are: Hearst College - Course g...", "DownloadVibe 2.1 for Wi...", "SNAFU Great Flash Games!", "Criminology Today", "PlanetZowie", "Apple - Movie Trailers", "Untitled", "truthout - News, Polit...", "Hearst College - Server D...." The next list is for five days ago and includes: "PlanetZowie Search - tim f...", "Books Beyond Borders", "Green Apple Technology", "The Smoking Nun - Dumb...", "Hearst College", "Criminology Department", "Hearst College - Staff List", "Weather - Zip Code 90909", "SignOnNeptune." Veronica highlights this and starts scanning down the list. More site names are seen: "Establishment Foundations", "PAPERCLIPS™ - Online C...", "ASC - The American Soci...", "ListServe - Criminology Dis...", "Discussion Board - Acade...", "CribCatcher - Plagiarism...."
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Nothing, nothing, nothing. Veronica sweeps past "The Smoking Nun - Keith...," "Horizons Airlines Flight S...," Utopia Bank - Account Lo...," New York Bridge Mutual," "Hearst College - Student...," and "Hearst College - Staff List...," taking interest only in "NEPTUNE WOMENT'S CLINIC."
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Neptune clinic? In addition to the clinic, Tim browsed: "Pregnancy," "Pregnancy Week to Week," and "What to know about preg...." Veronica then notices another file on Tim's computer, one entitled "O'Dell - suicide?"
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Whoa. She opens it. There are three files within: "Forensics," "Suspects," and "Witnesses."
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Tim's investigating the dean's death? She clicks on "Witnesses." There are two names: Anthony Martina and Eli Navarro.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Anthony Martin? There's no Anthony Martin mentioned in the police report. Veronica clicks on Anthony's name and reads out what she sees on the screen.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: "Earwitness, heard shot while walking home from Pi Sig party. Witness was drunk, couldn't determine time of death."
INT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.
Veronica knocks on the door of Anthony's room, which he shares with Glen. There's no answer, so she leaves a note on his whiteboard amongst the messages from Chris, G., John, Lisa, Dru M., and Jeff M. : "For a good time, call."
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT.
Music: "I'll Take Care Of You" by Mark Lanegan.
LYRICS: I know you've been hurt By someone else I can tell by the way You carry yourself But if you'll let me Here's what I'll do I'll take care of you
Logan is in a state. He's in his room, still dressed in the shirt he was wearing when his world came crashing down. There is an empty pizza box and newspapers strewn on the bed. The doors to the room open. He looks up. Dick stares at him for a second, before challenging him aggressively.
DICK: Did you hook up with Madison? Logan nods.
LOGAN: I did. Dick is not happy.
LOGAN: It just happened, you know. I didn't think you had any feelings left over her. DICK: It's still uncool. You don't do that to a buddy. Dick turns to walk out of the room and Logan watches him go. Dick stops and turns back.
DICK: And by the way, you laying in here in the dark is pathetic. Dick heads for his own room. Logan drops his head. End music: "I'll Take Care Of You" by Mark Lanegan.
EXT - NEPTUNE STREET - DAY.
Veronica walks along a street.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have an appointment to discuss my options at the clinic Tim contacted. In the meantime, a little spiritual advisement wouldn't hurt. She stops at the site of a flashy car. It bears the licence plate GODZLUVV. Along the edge is a pattern made of up groups of four of the letter S. They are gold and almost look like dollar signs.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: Exhibit A on why I don't trust TV preachers. Veronica heads for the premises outside of which the car is parked: Capistrano Ministries. It's a plain, poorly maintained building, marked 469 and decorated by a fancy frame around the door and a picture of Jesus with lambs painted on the side. Veronica enters.
INT - CAPISTRANO MINISTRIES - DAY.
There's a hubbub of soft sound. People are packing up. Veronica looks around at them, a small stained glass window, a statue of an archangel, a picture of Jesus, and various boxes, colour-coded for storage and other destination. A man comes across the office, carrying another box.
THURMAN: Carl, did you pack up those TCP forms?
CARL: Yeah, I just finished them.
Thurman puts the box down on a desk and spots Veronica.
THURMAN: Can I help you, Miss? Veronica affects a troubled persona.
VERONICA: Sorry, it's kind of personal.
THURMAN: Well, if you're here to see if your skirt is long enough, the answer is "no."
Thurman laughs, delighted with his own "joke."
THURMAN: Ah, I'm an old fogy. He gestures to indicate the room.
THURMAN: Actually, you know, you kind of caught us at a bad time, I, uh...
REV. CAPISTRANO: What is it, Thurman?
The reverend, working quietly in a corner behind him, comes towards them.
THURMAN: I-it's nothing, Ted. This young lady was...
VERONICA: Hester.
Veronica quickly holds out her hand to Rev. Capistrano. They shake.
VERONICA: I was hoping you could help me.
REV. CAPISTRANO: I can always try.
Cut to a few moments later. Veronica and Rev. Capistrano are now alone, on either side of the reverend's desk. His office too shows all the marks of being steadily emptied although the desk is still there, littered with papers and boxes. The nameplate on the desk shows his first name to be Ted..
REV. CAPISTRANO: So, what can I do for you?
VERONICA: [tragically] I'm pregnant, and now I don't know what to do.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Well, I can't imagine you came in here thinking that I was going to say anything other than that you should keep your baby.
Veronica drops her head.
VERONICA: Yeah, I guess. Just...my parents will never understand. They'll disown me.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. The promise of a grandchild is a powerful thing.
VERONICA: Yeah, if I were thirty. I'm sure you wouldn't be thrilled if your teenage daughter came home pregnant.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Well...
Rev. Capistrano leans forward on the desk towards her.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Actually, I was. My daughter is about your age, and she became pregnant. You know what her mother and I did? We celebrated. But our desire to meet our grandchild far outweighed any regrets about the circumstances of the pregnancy. He leans back in his chair again.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Maybe your parents will surprise you. He's suddenly overcome with emotion. He struggles to keep it in.
VERONICA: Reverend Ted?
REV. CAPISTRANO: I'm...I'm sorry.
His voice shakes and he is trembling.
REV. CAPISTRANO: She lost her baby. Veronica is deeply touched and, after a little nervous hesitation, lays a hand over his in comfort.
INT - NEPTUNE WOMEN'S CLINIC - DAY.
Veronica follows a woman in a white coat down a corridor.
DR. CHAMBLISS: So, you think your friend was slipped RU-486? They reach the doctor's office.
VERONICA: Yeah, and this is the only place to get it locally.
DR. CHAMBLISS: That's an awful story.
They sit. The nameplate on the doctor's desk declares her to be Dr. Chambliss.
VERONICA: I'm thinking it could be one of the guys she thought might be the father. Is there any scenario where a guy could come in and say it was for his wife or girlfriend? Dr. Chambliss shakes her head.
DR. CHAMBLISS: Not on my watch. VERONICA: So, if a girl comes in and says she wants RU-486... DR. CHAMBLISS: She would take it here in the office. No exceptions. VERONICA: Is it possible for someone to hide it under her tongue or palm it, make it out of here with the pill? DR. CHAMBLISS: I guess. Anything's possible. VERONICA: Is there any way you could tell me who came into the clinic between Thursday, the- The doctor chuckles.
DR. CHAMBLISS: You don't really expect me to say "yes," do you?
VERONICA: Had to ask.
DR. CHAMBLISS: Okay.
EXT - NEPTUNE WOMEN'S CLINIC - DAY.
Veronica walks along the side of the clinic, holding her cell phone to her ear.
VERONICA: Hello? She listens as she strides up to the "Neptune Women's Clinic" sign.
VERONICA: Anthony. Just the guy I wanted to hear from. I am absolutely a good time.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, ANTHONY'S DORM ROOM - DAY.
Anthony Martin is the same guy who offered Mac whiskey in 309 "Spit and Eggs" where he was credited as Rico Suave Nerd. He's a soccer fan, there being a large poster behind him, together with one for a boy band of some description. He is sitting on the couch in his room with his feet up on the coffee table, watching as Veronica paces in front of him.
VERONICA: So, if I understand correctly, you got pretty blitzed at the Pi Sig party, and you wandered back to your dorm room late. You passed the administration building, and that's when you hear the gunshot.
ANTHONY: That about sums it up.
VERONICA: Why didn't you report it?
ANTHONY: Report what? A guy shot himself. I read it in the paper the next day, and I was like, "oh, that's what that was." Besides...
He leans forward and drops his voice.
ANTHONY: I don't need another alcohol infraction on my record.
VERONICA: So, how did Tim Foyle find you? Is he a friend of yours?
He shakes his head.
ANTHONY: Never met the guy. I guess I told a bunch of people when I realized what I had heard. It must have gotten back to him. How'd you find out?
VERONICA: I found out from Tim. So, what did he want to know?
ANTHONY: You know. What I heard, what I saw, and what time it was.
VERONICA: And what did you tell him?
ANTHONY: I didn't see anything, I heard a gunshot, and I had no idea what time it was.
VERONICA: Okay. Well, if you think of anything...
Veronica grabs her bag from the coffee table and starts to head for the door. Anthony, anxious to please, is loathe to see her go.
ANTHONY: Uh, wait! He bounces up and, with a wry smile, Veronica turns to face him.
ANTHONY: I just remembered. I turned on Space Ghost. Terry Jones was the guest. They went on about spam. Anthony grins, pleased with himself.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.
Veronica exits Anthony's room. She starts walking slowly away as she ponders.
VERONICA VOICEOVER: According to the website, they re-run Space Ghost at 2:30. It probably takes ten minutes to stumble from the administration building back to the dorm. On her left, a girl is chatting to a guy at the door of his room. From the back, she looks like Madison. She laughs. Veronica gets another flash of Madison on top of and then under Logan. Veronica slows as she passes the couple. It's not Madison. She breathes a heavy sigh of relief.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, CLASSROOM - DAY.
Weevil is fixing something electrical that resides above the light switch of an empty classroom. Veronica approaches.
WEEVIL: Oh, you sought me out. That can only mean one thing. You need a favour.
VERONICA: Is it a favour if it's something we both would enjoy? Remember you told my criminology class about how you stole some guy's car and had it crushed?
WEEVIL: Yeah. Why?
VERONICA: Maybe I was thinking about having someone's car stolen and crushed.
WEEVIL: Oh. What happened? You broke up with Logan?
Weevil chuckles. One look at her face tells him he's right.
WEEVIL: Good for you. I'd be happy to have Logan's car crushed. What's he driving? Weevil completes his task and moves away from the wall. Veronica follows. She gets a piece of paper out of her bag and hands it to him.
VERONICA: Not his. A little Mercedes at this address. You can't miss it. The plates read "gotzmine."
WEEVIL: Wow. I'm surprised somebody hasn't crushed it already. Whose is it?
VERONICA: Madison Sinclair's.
WEEVIL: From high school...I remember. She lost a hubcap and told the principal I stole it for drug money. So, you want her car cubed or-
They are interrupted by the arrival of a teaching assistant who seems very taken with Weevil.
BOOKISH FEMALE TA: Thank you so much.
WEEVIL: Oh, no problem. And the next time I need some literature compared, I know you'll be there for me.
Weevil gives her a little wave. She simpers, returns the wave, and then leaves them to their discussion.
WEEVIL: Now, this has nothing to do with you and Logan, right?
VERONICA: Did I come here for therapy, or to get a car stolen and cubed?
WEEVIL: "Gotzmine," huh? Yeah. I have been wondering if I still have the touch. And, uh, it's gonna cost you five hundred. That is the going rate, isn't it?
Weevil closes his tool box and walks away. Veronica is a little stunned at being charged.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT.
Veronica walks into the apartment. She is pleased to see Keith to tell him her news.
VERONICA: Hey, Dad. Keith is sitting on the couch, looking sombre. He has something in front of him.
KEITH: Hey, honey.
VERONICA: So, I found out something on the O'Dell case. There was a guy who heard the shot around 2:20.
Keith just stares at her with concern.
VERONICA: What? KEITH: Is there anything maybe you want to tell me? VERONICA: About what? He pulls a large photograph from the pile in front of him.
KEITH: Well, I found this in our mailbox today. Veronica, looking bemused, walks over and sits down next to him, taking the picture. It is of Veronica leaving the Neptune Women's Clinic. Keith picks up a letter from the pile and starts to read it out loud.
KEITH: "Dear Sir, the enclosed photographs were taken at Neptune Women's Clinic, which performs abortions." Veronica can't believe it. Keith looks at her, waiting. He swallows hard.
VERONICA: [affronted] I can't believe these people. She looks at a second picture which shows her by her car, the licence plate clearly displayed.
VERONICA: They sit up in a building with their telephoto lens and take pictures of people in their most private, personal moments. That's disgusting.
KEITH: Uh, honey, that's how we pay the rent.
VERONICA: It's different.
KEITH: I like to think so. Back on point. Is everything okay? Does this have something to do with you and Logan?
VERONICA: No.
Veronica suddenly gets the concern.
VERONICA: No! Dad, no, I am not now, nor have I ever been, pregnant. Keith's world just as suddenly comes back together again and he takes a relieved breath.
VERONICA: I visited the clinic for a case. Someone slipped this girl RU-486, and it caused a miscarriage.
KEITH: That's awful.
VERONICA: Yeah. Where did this come from?
Keith looks at the envelope, emptying the remaining contents as he does.
KEITH: There's no return address. No postage. He looks at one of the pamphlets and reads from it.
KEITH: "Does everyone go to heaven?"
VERONICA: Actually, what does it say? I've got intro to theology next semester.
KEITH: Mmm. Doesn't look like it.
Veronica picks up a bookmark.
VERONICA: Well, here's a bookmark if you can't make it all the way through. Keith takes it and peers at it.
KEITH: "Good Word Press, San Diego."
VERONICA: Harassing women in crisis since 1973. You think maybe you want to get all up in their "bid'ness"?
Keith nods his head, anxious to repay the hours of anxiety he's just been through.
KEITH: Mmm.
INT - GOOD WORD PRESS - DAY.
Veronica and Keith enter Good Word Press. It's a small printing company and the front room is unattended. A door to the back opens and a man comes out.
EDDIE: Yeah? Who are you?
KEITH: My name is Carson Drew, and this is my assistant, Nancy. We're trying to find who published this.
Keith holds out the pamphlet.
EDDIE: You found him. Eddie Nettles. KEITH: Mr. Nettles, some of your materials ended up in a packet sent anonymously- EDDIE: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I told you people before, this here's my constitutional right. If you have a problem, see my lawyer. KEITH: We're private investigators working on a rather delicate matter. You see, our clients...their son is engaged to a girl who...well, um... VERONICA: They don't know much about her, so they asked us to look into... They appear to be making it up as they go along.
KEITH: They suspect that the bride-to-be may have misled the groom regarding past indiscretions.
VERONICA: They heard she recently terminated a pregnancy at the Neptune free clinic.
Eddie makes an expression of disgust.
VERONICA: I know. And if it's true, the parents want their son to know. Is there any way you could point us in the direction of the person who took the photos?
EDDIE: Man, this world, huh?
He shakes his head.
EDDIE: I got them. There's the binders there. The photos are arranged chronologically. You're free to take a look. Veronica walks over to the bookcase where Eddie indicated. She takes down the first binder. She opens it at pictures taken on January 16th. She flicks back to January 8th. She spots Nadia, Dick's redhead, leaving the clinic on January 5th. As she takes that in, Thurman Randolph walks in.
THURMAN: Hey, Edward, how's it going?
EDDIE: Thurman. Just put them with the others, huh?
THURMAN: Who are these folks?
Thurman takes a step closer to Veronica who is trying to stay turned away from him.
EDDIE: This is Carson Drew and his assistant... Eddie snaps his fingers at Keith.
EDDIE: What's your assistant's name?
KEITH: Nancy.
Thurman, having bent around to check Veronica's face, straightens up.
THURMAN: They're lying to you, Eddie. She came into our office yesterday calling herself Hester, claiming she was troubled. Keith walks over to them. He takes Veronica by the shoulders to lead her out.
KEITH: She really is troubled. Veronica's supporting expression is priceless as they leave.
[SCENE_BREAK]
EXT - GOOD WORD PRESS - DAY.
KEITH: Well, we've done better.
They reach the street. Parked in front of the building is the same car Veronica saw outside Capistrano Ministries.
KEITH: "Godzluvv." Tasteful. They start walking up the road.
VERONICA: We did okay.
KEITH: How so?
VERONICA: One of the girls in the photo binder. I've seen her with Dick.
KEITH: The Casablancas kid?
VERONICA: Who might have been the father.
KEITH: Hmm.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, FOOD COURT - DAY.
Music: Unknown. Dick is leering again, under the guise of sitting at one of the tables, reading Monomania (the same magazine that Tim was browsing). The cover features the scantily clad Ashley Findley. Veronica sits down next to him.
VERONICA: Wow. Impressive. I hear "Modern Breasts" is a really hard class. DICK: The rebound starts with me? Nice! VERONICA: That redhead from the other day, Nadia. Does she have a last name? DICK: Comaneci.
Veronica gives him a baleful look.
DICK: What?
VERONICA: Dick, do you think I'm an idiot? Nadia Comaneci is an Olympic gymnast from Romania.
DICK: You sure? I mean, she doesn't have an accent.
VERONICA: Don't play dumb, Dick. Some girl I see you hugging on pops up at the women's clinic a week after Bonnie told you she's pregnant? I have to ask. Was she picking something up for you?
DICK: Hopefully a box of sponges. Look, if we're not gonna have an empty sexual encounter, I kind of got stuff to do, so...
He waits for a second, just in case.
DICK: Yeah. He leaves Veronica to ponder. End music: Unknown.
EXT - HEARST COLLEGE - DAY.
Veronica is hanging around outside one of the buildings. She spots the person she's looking for - Nadia.
VERONICA: Hi. Are you Nadia Fassano?
NADIA: Yeah.
VERONICA: Thank goodness. I had to go through the whole freshman facebook and flirt with the registrar to get your schedule.
NADIA: Okay. Why?
VERONICA: 'Cause I wanted to talk to you, but your pal Dick wouldn't give me your real name.
NADIA: I have a pal named Dick?
VERONICA: Dick Casablancas.
Nadia is still clueless.
VERONICA: Nadia, I know you know him. I saw the two of you walking together, and when I asked about you, he told me your last name was Comaneci. Nadia laughs.
VERONICA: I just want to know-
NADIA: Okay, that Dick. Yeah, um, I got drunk at a party, and I made out with him for like five seconds, and then I gave him a fake name.
Veronica looks confused.
NADIA: What? Would you want him calling you? Nadia laughs again and walks off. Veronica, thinking about the last question, has to give it credence.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - NIGHT.
Keith is drying dishes. The phone rings.
KEITH: Hello?
INT - O'DELL RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
Mindy is in a large bedroom. Gram O'Dell, the dean's son is sitting in a large armchair. Jason, Mindy's son, is sitting next to her on the bed.
MINDY: Hi. Keith, um, i-it's Mindy O'Dell. Mindy gets up and walks across towards the window, away from the boys.
MINDY: Listen, can you come right away? Uh, there's someone in the house downstairs.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
KEITH: Where are you?
INT - O'DELL RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
MINDY: I'm in my bedroom. I'm with the boys.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
KEITH: You call the cops?
MINDY: [on phone] You're closer, and you're competent. Keith, hurry, please.
EXT - O'DELL RESIDENCE - NIGHT.
Keith, dressed in black, creeps up to the house. He looks in one of the windows. He sneaks along the house and waits in the indent between the window and the door. The door opens and another man in black quietly exits the house. He looks to be carrying a crash helmet. Keith knocks him out by hitting him hard in the back of the head with something baton-like. The man goes down and the helmet rolls away. Keith turns him over. It's Steve Batando.
INT - O'DELL RESIDENCE - NIGHT.
Cut to later, inside the house. Batando is laid out on the couch. Keith slaps his face a few times and Steve rouses.
KEITH: And good morning, Mr. Batando.
Keith looks back at Mindy who's watching.
KEITH: You might want to dial the cops now.
STEVE: Yeah. Give 'em a call.
Steve is not in a good way. His eyes are sunk deeply into his head and he is trembling.
STEVE: I'm sure they'd love to hear about all the fun and games my ex has been up to, and you, too, Mars: accessory to kidnapping, stealing my bone marrow. The sheriff'd love to hear all about that.
KEITH: No one made you sign that settlement, Steve. You got money and a Porsche.
STEVE: Which they just repo'ed. She stopped the payments...to me and on the car.
This surprises Keith, who looks back at Mindy.
STEVE: I was just taking what she owed. MINDY: Since Cyrus died, I haven't been able to afford it. Jason comes down the stairs.
JASON: Dad?
STEVE: Hey, there's my boy.
Jason heads towards his father, but Mindy stops him and holds him by her. Steve reaches out for him.
STEVE: Come here. Mindy lets Jason go and he sits on his father's lap.
STEVE: Mom and Dad were just going over some stuff. Gram also walks down the stairs, but takes no interest in events, walking straight past everyone to go to his room. Steve takes Jason's arm from around him and starts to get up from the couch.
STEVE: I think I should get going. Jason goes back to stand with Mindy as Steve gets up and heads for the door.
STEVE: Now, maybe next week we go see a Laker game and...and, uh, I'll see if I can get my hands on some tickets. Jason smiles. Steve spots a vase of flowers near the door. He picks it up and takes the flowers out, examining the crystal.
STEVE: There's that vase. He looks up at Mindy, challenging her to stop him. She doesn't, her hands stills on her son's shoulders. Batando goes out the door.
MINDY: Okay, time to go to bed. Okay? Let's go. Mindy casts a glance back at Keith, then leads Jason to the stairs. Music: Unknown. Gram is in his heavy metal/goth inspired room. The predominant colour of his décor is black. He's sitting on his bed looking gloomy, fiddling with his iPod or a garrotte - it's not clear. He looks up sourly at the knock on the door. Keith opens it and pops his head in.
GRAM: [sulkily] What do you want? KEITH: Just checking to see if everything's okay. GRAM: Everything's awesome. Keith studies him for a moment before leaving him to his brooding. End music: Unknown. In the lounge, Mindy is pacing as Keith joins her.
KEITH: Well, he seems...I'm not sure if "okay" is the word, but...
MINDY: Yeah, long story. You know Cyrus was considering sending him to a teen-discipline school? But I don't even know if that would work.
KEITH: Well, I should get going.
Keith heads for the front door.
KEITH: If he comes by again, you should really call the cops. People with his kind of problem can, uh, be more trouble than you realise.
MINDY: Yeah, "problem"? Which problem?
KEITH: Back when I was sheriff, I saw my share of meth heads and, uh...
MINDY: Yeah, I know. He's been in and out of rehab.
Keith nods his nead.
KEITH: Goodnight, Mrs. O'Dell. He reaches for the doorknob.
MINDY: Actually, um, would you mind staying, just until I check on Jason? My nerves are still a little jangled.
KEITH: You mind if I pour myself a drink? My nerves are a bit frayed myself.
MINDY: No, anything you can find is yours.
Cut to a moment later. Keith is in the kitchen, getting a glass which he sets down on the counter. He pauses and glances back towards the main part of the house before walking over to the door that leads to the garage. He finds the light. The Volvo is there. Keith inspects the windscreen for a moment. He pulls out one of the wiper blades and runs his finger along it. He finds what looks like a piece of egg shell. Mindy arrives behind him.
MINDY: Keith?
KEITH: Growing up, my parents would keep the adult beverages in a fridge out in the garage.
MINDY: Yeah, well, we keep ours in the kitchen.
KEITH: Oh.
Keith heads back to the kitchen.
INT - NEPTUNE GRAND HOTEL, LOGAN'S SUITE - NIGHT.
Music: "No Direction" by Longwave. Logan is on the balcony, drinking. He walks back into the suite, slamming down his empty glass. He still hasn't changed his shirt. He picks up the phone and punches a single number. The phone rings.
VERONICA: [on voicemail] It's Veronica. Leave a message.
LOGAN: Ah! Veronica's voice mail!
He does one of his chuckles that doesn't come from humour.
LOGAN: So, where are you, Veronica? Out digging through someone's trash, maybe? Interrogating one of your friends? Beating out a confession? You know, if you dig deep enough, you're gonna find that everyone's a sinner. Judge not, Veronica, et cetera, et cetera. All right, stay on message, Logan. He sinks down onto the couch.
LOGAN: Okay, honestly...it's encouraging that someone still has such high expectations of me. He takes a deep, shuddering breath.
LOGAN: Veronica, I would give anything if I could take back that night in Aspen. I'm sorry it causes you so much pain. I'm sorry it happened. And I really love you, Veronica.
End music: "No Direction" by Longwave.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - DAY.
It's morning and Veronica goes out to the kitchen. Keith is at the counter, reading the newspaper.
KEITH: And how are you this a.m.? Veronica gets a mug from one of the cupboards and pours herself a coffee.
VERONICA: Cramming for philosophy. Have you seen my copy of Either/Or? Keith "does" Groucho Marx, down to the waggling cigar.
KEITH: No, but I've got an old issue of Buts you can have.
VERONICA: The comedy styling of Keith Mars, ladies and gentlemen.
KEITH: Hey, look, it's that guy from the printing office.
Thurman Randolph's picture appears in an article headlined "New Life Cathedral opening ceremony today in San Diego - Stable ministry raises millions for 3000 seat 'fellowship hall.'" The paper is dated Tuesday, January 30, 2007 and the article, next to one about the EPA written by senior staff writer Gwen Bagnall, is by Tammy Johnson, Associated Press. As much as can be read says: "Evangelicals of the greater San Diego area have a new place to worship. The modern and highly touted New Life Cathedral will celebrate by cutting the ribbon on a project started four years ago. Capistrano Ministries is responsible for bringing the cathedral to live. After four years ministry in San Diego's industrial district, Rev. Capistrano...." The caption under Thurman's picture reads "Thurman Randolph, CFO." Veronica takes the paper to see.
KEITH: Apparently the preacher's leaving cable access for the big-time.
VERONICA: That guy Thurman is the ministry's CFO?
KEITH: Should a ministry have a CFO?
Veronica shakes her head.
KEITH: You don't think he did it, do you? He struck me as being aggressively pro-life.
VERONICA: How do you think a televangelist with a pregnant, unmarried daughter would play to his flock? A fly in the collection plate, perhaps?
Veronica reaches over and takes Keith toast. She takes a bite and heads for her room. Cut to a few moments later. In her room, Veronica is on the phone.
VERONICA: Bonnie, hey, it's Veronica.
BONNIE: [on phone] Hey.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING.
BONNIE: So, what have you heard? Are you making any progress?
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
VERONICA: Yeah, it's coming along. Do you know Thurman Randolph very well?
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING.
VERONICA: [on phone] He works for-
BONNIE: My dad, yeah.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
VERONICA: You trust him?
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING.
Bonnie shakes her head.
BONNIE: Not really.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
VERONICA: I want to search his office during today's service. Can you get me in?
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING.
BONNIE: Um...
Bonnie holds out the phone to check the time.
BONNIE: If you can get here in fifteen minutes.
INT - MARS RESIDENCE - CONTINUING.
BONNIE: [on phone] Do you have church clothes?
Cut to later still. Veronica, dressed in a bland suit, exits her bedroom. She shouts into the bathroom.
VERONICA: So, I'm heading out.
Keith, brushing his teeth, looks out, surprised at her appearance.
KEITH: Hmm. Veronica smiles and picks up her phone. She sees that she has a new voice mail message. She dials to get it.
LOGAN: [on phone] Ah! Veronica's voice mail! She sinks down onto the arm of the chair to listen.
LOGAN: [on phone] So, where are you, Veronica? Out digging through someone's trash... Keith, still brushing his teeth, looks out and notices as she bites her thumb and shakes her head.
KEITH: Something wrong, honey? Veronica drops the phone and punches a button..
VERONICA: No.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Message erased.
VERONICA: Just...old crap.
She puts the phone in her bag
VERONICA: I got to run.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM - DAY.
As she heads for Bonnie's room, the phone rings.
VERONICA: Hello?
WEEVIL: [on phone] Hey. It's me.
EXT - SCRAP YARD - CONTINUING.
Weevil has the Mercedes.
WEEVIL: So, if you want to see German engineering reduced to a cube, come by the yard this afternoon around 2:00.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM - CONTINUING.
Veronica grins.
VERONICA: I'll be there right after church. Having reached Bonnie's door, Veronica knocks.
VERONICA: Thanks, Weevil.
EXT - SCRAP YARD - CONTINUING.
VERONICA: [on phone] Bye.
Weevil takes the phone from his ear and looks down at it, brow furrowed.
WEEVIL: Church.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM - CONTINUING.
Veronica hears a footstep as she puts her phone away. It's Rev. Capistrano.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Hello.
VERONICA: Hi.
REV. CAPISTRANO: I didn't know you knew Bonnie.
VERONICA: We only met recently.
The door is opened by Bonnie.
BONNIE: Oh, hi. You two met? The reverend enters.
REV. CAPISTRANO: We did. Hester didn't tell me the two of you were friends.
BONNIE: Hester?
Veronica follows, giving Bonnie an innocent look.
INT - HEARST COLLEGE, BONNIE'S DORM ROOM - CONTINUING.
REV. CAPISTRANO: I, uh, hope you're well.
Phyllis comes round from her side of the room and shrieks in pleasure.
PHYLLIS: Reverend Ted! Equally enthusiastic, the reverend holds out his arms.
REV. CAPISTRANO: How's my other daughter? They hug.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Are you ready to celebrate?
PHYLLIS: You look like you lost a little weight.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Well, three thousand regular parishioners, each with their own cheesecake recipe. I finally had to clamp down.
PHYLLIS: You mean vomit.
While this is going on Veronica, who was standing quietly over by the bookcase, spots the copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting, and particularly the bookmark in it. She takes the book from the shelf and checks the bookmark: "Does everyone go to Heaven?"
VERONICA: Bonnie. I think Tim slipped you the RU-486. REV. CAPISTRANO: What? Bonnie? What is she- BONNIE: Why do you say it was Tim? Veronica holds out the bookmark.
VERONICA: This bookmark is...a gift, sent by a pro-life group to everyone who comes out of the Neptune clinic. It's the only clinic in the area that provides RU-486. It's some sort of a shame campaign. I just found it in the pregnancy book Tim gave you. Veronica holds up the book. Bonnie, looking stunned, looks over at Phyllis. Rev. Capistrano continues to stare at Veronica, stunned.
VERONICA: By the way, your CFO works with the same group. Voice full of concern, the reverend turns to his daughter.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Somebody slipped you...Bonnie, why didn't you tell- Bonnie's not listening, staring in horror at Phyllis
BONNIE: Phyllis. VERONICA: Bonnie? BONNIE: Tim didn't give me that book. Phyllis did. PHYLLIS: Bonnie, let me explain. I did it for you. Do you really think those guys were worthy of you, of being the father of your baby? The reverend stares at her too, putting his hands on Bonnie's shoulders in comfort.
PHYLLIS: And think what it would have meant. [with increasing desperation] All of your plans, all of your goals? No career at all, just divorce and a baby to support, and you have dreams, Bonnie. And I was trying to help you. Bonnie can't speak and shakes her head.
PHYLLIS: I know you. You wanted to give up the baby, and you were going to until your parents found out. Bonnie...Bonnie, I'm sorry.
BONNIE: Sorry? You're sorry? [screaming] Get out! I can't look at you right now! I want you out of my sight!
The reverend is physically holding her back. Phyllis, also distressed, holds up her hands.
PHYLLIS: Bonnie, please!
REV. CAPISTRANO: Bonnie! Bonnie!
BONNIE: Go to hell! Go to hell!
Phyllis disappears around to her side of the room. The reverend pulls the distraught Bonnie into his arms.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Bonnie! That's enough! It's done. Veronica sees Phyllis sink onto her bed, her head in her hands.
REV. CAPISTRANO: She didn't mean to hurt you. She didn't mean to. Try to be forgiving. It's the only way. Bonnie weeps in his arms as his hands rubs up and down her back. He speaks gently.
REV. CAPISTRANO: Anger will tear you down. It'll make you less of the person that you want to be. He glances at Veronica.
REV. CAPISTRANO: And it will tear apart your soul.
EXT - SCRAP YARD - DAY.
It's raining. Veronica, holding up an umbrella, arrives with the reverend's words still ringing in her ears.
REV. CAPISTRANO: [offscreen] The bible teaches us that he who is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he who rules his spirit can capture a city. Veronica stands by Madison's Mercedes and watches as another car is placed in the crusher and crushed.
REV. CAPISTRANO: [offscreen] He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. Weevil arrives.
WEEVIL: So, we're all set to go as soon as they finish. I even washed it so it'd be shiny when we crush it. I know it doesn't sound logical, but trust me, it's much better.
VERONICA: Let's not do it.
WEEVIL: Are you sure? 'Cause, you know, I...I did go through all the trouble of stealing it.
VERONICA: Here's a little something for the effort.
Veronica hands him a wad of cash. He takes it. He's not sure what to think.
VERONICA: Maybe you could open a can of tuna, set it inside her A/C vent, then park it back on the block. Weevil smiles.
WEEVIL: I can do that.
VERONICA: Yeah.
Veronica turns and walks away. Weevil calls out to her.
WEEVIL: You're going soft, Mars.
|
Plan: A: A student; Q: Who asks Veronica to find out who slipped her RU-486? A: a miscarriage; Q: What did the RU-486 cause? A: Tim Foyle's; Q: Whose computer does Veronica search? A: Dean O'Dell's murder; Q: What was Tim Foyle investigating? A: 2:20 am; Q: What time did Dean O'Dell die? A: Logan; Q: Who slept with Madison Sinclair after their first break up? A: Keith; Q: Who discovered that Mindy's car was egged? A: her whereabouts; Q: What was Mindy lying about? Summary: A student asks Veronica to find out who slipped her RU-486 , which caused a miscarriage. While searching through Tim Foyle's computer, Veronica discovers that he is also investigating Dean O'Dell's murder, which took place at around 2:20 am. Upon learning that Logan slept with Madison Sinclair after their first break up, Veronica breaks up with him. Keith discovers that Mindy's car was egged on the night of the Dean's murder, which suggests that she was lying about her whereabouts at the time.
|
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY - NIGHT]
(A box is on the autopsy table. It's addressed to:
DR. ROBBINS
3026 WESTFALL AVENUE
LAS VEGAS, NV 89109
(ROBBINS cuts the string and cuts the box open. Inside is a large blue plastic tub. ROBBINS takes the tub out and pushes the empty box to the side as he concentrates on the blue tub. He cuts the tape around the cover of the tub and opens the lid. Inside is a head.)
Robbins: Hmm.
(ROBBINS puts his glasses on to examine the head. GRISSOM walks into the room and appears at his side.)
Grissom: I heard you got some head.
Robbins: Just came in. How'd you know?
Grissom: I arranged house seats for David to see Celine, so he pages me the minute you get anything perishable.
Robbins: Sellout.
(ROBBINS reaches into the tub and removes the head. GRISSOM takes a deep breath.)
Grissom: Oh ... formaldehyde.
Robbins: Yeah, it fixes tissue, but it destroys DNA.
Grissom: No ID through CODIS. Quite a bit of leaf litter.
Robbins: Puncture wound above the orbital plate.
Grissom: That looks like animal activity.
Robbins: Heavy decomp. It's going to be, uh ... virtually impossible to determine time of death. This neck wasn't severed. It was disarticulated. No skill involved.
(ROBBINS puts the head down on the table and turns it to the left. On the left cheek, there's a knife cut.)
Robbins: Oh-oh. I take that back.
Grissom: That took skill.
(Quick CGI POV: Camera zooms into the cut - past the skin, into the muscle and flesh. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
(ROBBINS turns to look at GRISSOM.)
Grissom: The unkindest cut of all.
Robbins: (nods) Hmm.
HARD CUT TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY -- NIGHT]
(DAVID HODGES removes the leaf litter from the head while ROBBINS works on washing the head.)
David Hodges: There's more plant material here than geological.
Robbins: Hair roots and scalp are relatively clean.
David Hodges: So the vic wasn't buried?
Robbins: You tell me.
David Hodges: I will. Leaves and needles and dirt -- that's good as a map.
(CATHERINE walks into the room and up to the table. She frowns when she sees HODGES and ROBBINS working on the head.)
Catherine: Any idea when Grissom'll be back?
Robbins: Nope. It's going to be a while.
(CATHERINE glances down at the paper work in her hand.)
Catherine: Jackpot, Nevada. Where the hell is that?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. MOUNTAIN LANDSCAPE (STOCK) - DUSK]
[EXT. TOP VIEW: ROADWAY (STOCK) - DUSK]
[EXT. LAKE (STOCK) - DUSK]
[EXT. TOP VIEW: VARIOUS ROADWAY (STOCK) - EARLY MORNING]
[EXT. MOUNTAIN LANDSCAPE (STOCK) - MORNING]
[EXT. TOP VIEW: ROADWAY (STOCK) - DUSK]
[EXT. JACKPOT -- GAS STATION -- DAY]
(The sign says: PAY AT THE PUMP. GRISSOM'S car travels up the road, past the gas station, and parks next to the Sheriff's car in the diner parking lot.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JACKPOT -- DINER - DAY]
(GRISSOM walks into the diner.)
Cook: Order's up, sweetie.
(GRISSOM closes the door behind him. There's quite a lot of activity in the full diner. He takes off his glasses and heads for the waitress behind the counter.)
Grissom: Good morning. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab, and I ...
Gloria: (interrupts) Hey, Alan! 'S guy's here about the head.
(GRISSOM looks around. The Sheriff's sitting at the table and waves him over. As he heads in that direction, it appears that everyone in the diner already knows about the head.)
Man: Bet a wolf got him.
Man 2: There's no wolves around here dumbass. Bears.
Man 3: Ten bucks says satanic cult.
(GRISSOM approaches the Sheriff's table.)
Alan Brooks: Lieutenant Alan Brooks. This is my brother Leland.
Leland Brooks: How do you do?
Grissom: Gil Grissom, Las Vegas Crime Lab. May I?
Alan Brooks: Have a seat. Things must be pretty slow in Vegas to get one of you guys out here so quick.
Grissom: Well, the Elko County Sheriff made the request. We were happy to respond. It's an interesting case.
Alan Brooks: Mmm, not particularly.
Leland Brooks: It was probably some hiker or transient who got lost, took a bad luck fall.
Grissom: Must have been a heck of a fall. His head's in a plastic jar.
Alan Brooks: Listen, I filed the report. I sent in the head. Five'll get you ten, there's not much left of that body out there but coyote turds.
(LELAND chuckles.)
Alan Brooks: Look, nobody from this community's been reported missing. And I just don't have the resources to go searching for what might be left.
Grissom: Well, you do now.
Alan Brooks: There'd better be a whole lot more of you out there.
(MARTY COOPERMAN gets up and heads for the door.)
Alan Brooks: Have a good one, Marty.
(MARTY COOPERMAN leaves without saying a word.)
Grissom: Lieutenant, the preliminary autopsy revealed a single, straight, two-inch cut on the victim's jaw. It was a blade mark. So, there's not just a body out there, there's also a killer.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - TRACE LAB]
[SCOPE VIEW]
(DAVID HODGES explains what CATHERINE'S looking at in the scope.)
David Hodges: Of all the plant life gathered from the head, the conifers are the key. The one on the left -- abies zasiocarpa. The one on the right is picea engelmannii, engelmann spruce.
Catherine: Spruce and fir trees. Typical mountain forest.
David Hodges: Typical for 9,000 feet above sea level. The wood fragments are either cottonwood or aspen. And aspens only grow in areas that have been cleared.
Catherine: Fire, roads or ... logging.
David Hodges: After a major forest fire, manzanita bushes grow like weeds for decades.
Catherine: No manzanita leaves here.
David Hodges: Which means that the head was on a damp north-facing slope, at least 9,000 feet up, cleared, but not recently exposed to fire.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. JACKPOT - OUTSIDE DINER -- DAY]
(GRISSOM and ALAN BROOKS leave the diner. GRISSOM'S phone rings. He answers it.)
Grissom: (to phone) Grissom.
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY ON THE WAY TO GRISSOM'S OFFICE]
Catherine: Is the service actually bad out there or are you just keeping your phone off?
Grissom: I'm sorry. I should've called.
Catherine: This trip wouldn't have anything to do with you ducking case reviews, now would it?
Grissom: How can you think that? You wouldn't mind taking care of those for me, would you?
Catherine: Oh, your job, my pay. Why would I care?
Grissom: I'll make it up to you.
Catherine: Yeah, you had better.
(CATHERINE reaches GRISSOM'S office and her jaw drops at the stacks of files on his desk that he needs to review. The desk is a mess.)
Catherine: Hodges ID'd your leaf litter.
Grissom: Good. Thanks. I owe you one.
(GRISSOM hangs up.)
Alan Brooks: Trouble with the wife?
Grissom: Yeah. She hates it when we're apart.
(He shrugs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAKE (STOCK) - DAY]
[EXT. SYLVIA ROGERS RESIDENCE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM interviews SYLVIA ROGERS while ALAN BROOKS watches.)
Grissom: So your dog found the head?
Sylvia Rogers: Well, Tripper's not exactly a Chihuahua. Goes where he wants, comes back for dinner. Sometimes he brings dinner back.
(Quick flashback to: SYLVIA ROGERS walks out of the house with a dish of food for the dog.)
Sylvia Rogers: Tripper! Come on, buddy, dinner.
(She puts the dish down. The dog barks and she looks. She sees he's playing with the head.)
Sylvia Rogers: Oh, what is it this time, a rabbit or a possum?
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Grissom: Is he okay?
Sylvia Rogers: Well, he got a little lethargic after chewing on that he took him to the vet, ran some tests. He got better. I just want to keep him that way. Where there's a head there's got to be hands and feet, and sooner or later, he'll dig 'em up.
Alan Brooks: Or what's left of 'em. No offense, Sylvia, but he's not exactly a scent hound.
Grissom: All animals can smell rotting flesh. Studies have shown that when domestic pets bring back human body parts, usually the remains are within a half-mile radius.
Sylvia Rogers: They do studies on that?
Grissom: It occurs more than you think. Have you noticed any buzzards or vultures around?
Sylvia Rogers: All the time.
Grissom: Thanks.
(She leaves. GRISSOM turns and looks at the hillside.)
Alan Brooks: So, are we done here?
Grissom: This slope faces north, doesn't it?
Alan Brooks: Yeah.
Grissom: You know that old expression, "heads will roll"? It's true -- especially downhill.
(GRISSOM heads for the north slope.)
Alan Brooks: (to radio) Barry, drop the doughnut. You're gonna earn your pay today.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. NORTH SLOPE - DAY -SHORT TIME LATER]
(A couple of OFFICERS walk up the slope. GRISSOM and ALAN BROOKS follow them.)
Alan Brooks: Afraid you gonna trip over something?
Grissom: I'm hoping. Bodies make good fertilizer. You often see fresh, green shoots near a gravesite.
Alan Brooks: Must be nice to know the answer to every little thing.
Grissom: I prefer questions actually.
Alan Brooks: And I don't, I suppose. Remember that waitress, Doris? Well, she's got an ex-husband likes to smack her around every once in a while. High school's got a dozen meth-heads who like boosting motorcycles and then drag racing 'em down main street, when they think nobody's watching. Fire chief's a closet pyro, and so forth. See, I don't have a lot of time to ask questions about buzzards and such.
(He points to the tree GRISOSM'S looking at.)
Alan Brooks: That's an aspen tree, in case you were wondering.
(Up on the hillside the OFFICERS call down to them.)
Officer: Lieutenant! Over here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[TOP OF THE HILL]
(GRISSOM reaches the top of the hill and sees the two OFFICERS standing just over the body. One of them is gagging.)
Grissom: Step away from there, would you please, fellas? Don't disturb the scene.
(They both rush aside as one of the OFFICERS throw up.)
(GRISSOM kneels next to the body.)
Grissom: Carabid beetles. Second instar maggots.
(GRISSOM picks up a bug.)
Grissom: Formica obscuripes.
(Camera zooms in for a close up.)
Alan Brooks: Let me guess. You like bugs?
Grissom: Yeah, I do. They're perfect. They always do their jobs.
(He glances at the Sheriff.)
Grissom: (declares) This body's been here four to seven days.
(GRISSOM stands up.)
Grissom: How deep would you say this hole is, Lieutenant?
Alan Brooks: I'd say about four feet, depending on ... how he's stuffed in there.
Grissom: Takes a fair amount of dedication to dig a hole this deep up here, don't you think?
Alan Brooks: Unless the killer had help.
Grissom: Maybe.
(GRISSOM takes a picture of the blood on the rock near the body, then kneels down to look at the spatter.)
Alan Brooks: It's like you said -- he was cut.
Grissom: This blood's not from a cut. The drops imply directionality. The stellated circles imply ...
(Quick CGI POV of: The blood spatters on the rock.)
Grissom: (V.O.) ... perpendicular impact.
(End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Grissom: This spatter is in direct line with the victim's carotid. It's arterial spurt.
Alan Brooks: Are you saying he was alive when he was buried?
Grissom: I think that the cut we found on his jaw ... was a lure to draw predators.
(Quick flashback to: The knife cuts into the victim's cheek as he screams. Cut to: Growling as the animal rushes forward. The victim screams. Cut to: Blood spattering on the rock.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(GRISSOM and gets to his feet.)
Grissom: This wasn't just murder. It was torture.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. HILLSIDE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM looks out at the tree-covered mountainside, waiting. ALAN BROOKS gets impatient.)
Alan Brooks: Hey, Einstein, we going to stand here all day or what?
Grissom: You're going to have to be patient, Lieutenant. The scene hasn't been released yet. You know, this may be a variation on an old native American form of punishment. The body was bound and buried up to its neck. Tree sap was poured over the head to attract ants.
Alan Brooks: Punishment for what?
Grissom: You see? That's a good question.
(DALE STERLING appears on the hill, huffing and puffing with exertion.)
Alan Brooks: It's about time, Dale.
(DALE STERLING looks at the body in the ground.)
Grissom: You are the coroner, I presume.
Dale Sterling: Mr. Grissom. Dr. Dale Sterling. I sent you the head. How can I help?
Grissom: Well, we can't touch the body until you authorize it.
Dale Sterling: Oh.
(DALE STERLING looks at ALAN BROOKS, then he looks over at the other OFFICER. They all look puzzled by this. Game, DALE STERLING looks down at the body.)
Dale Sterling: He's dead. You're authorized.
Alan Brooks: Thanks, Doc. That's nice work. Can we get it out now?
Grissom: There may be evidence in the gravesite. We need to preserve it.
Alan Brooks: Okay, so what do you want to do, call your lab? Have them send the right gear, the right guys, what?
Grissom: The site's already been compromised. We'll make do with what we have here. Now, for each foot of dirt that's removed, go on a separate bag. I'll sift through it later.
Alan Brooks: All right. Out of the way, Doc. Pardon me.
Grissom: Hold on. Make sure your shovels don't get within six inches of that body.
Alan Brooks: Can we please get on with getting him out of there? We're losing light.
(They start to dig the body out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAKE - EVENING]
[INT. DALE STERLING'S OFFICE -- NIGHT]
(GRISSOM faces the wall with a degree on it from: THE UNIVERSITY OF VETERINARY STUDIES for DALE STERLING.)
(DALE STERLING takes off his jacket and sees GRISSOM looking at the wall.)
Dale Sterling: I was in the 99th percentile on the MCATs. I could have gone to med school. I chose to be a vet.
Grissom: Well, veterinary school's harder to get into than medical school. That's not what I was looking at. This is you and that gal from the diner.
Dale Sterling: Doris. We were married. High school sweethearts. Didn't work out.
(The body is put on the examining table.)
Dale Sterling: I know how to cut. I could ... I could do the autopsy right here.
Grissom: Only a licensed pathologist can perform an autopsy. All we're allowed to do is search for evidence on the body.
Alan Brooks: And then what?
Grissom: Then we take it to Vegas. Tonight. We'll need someone to drive the body.
(BARRY is just about to sit down, when ALAN BROOKS looks at him.)
Alan Brooks: Barry, it's your lucky day. Get your car. Come on.
Grissom: Our medical examiner will send you his report. You'll need to sign the death certificate as to cause and manner of death.
(GRISSOM looks around at the body. DALE reaches into the pants pocket.)
Dale Sterling: No wallet and no ID.
(GRISSOM pulls out a ball of paper from the other side pants pocket.)
Dale Sterling: What have you got there?
Grissom: Well, I'm not sure yet.
(ALAN BROOKS settles in and waits while they gather evidence.)
(GRISSOM checks the wrists and ankles.)
Grissom: No ligature marks.
Dale Sterling: Well, he wasn't tied up?
Grissom: Apparently not.
Dale Sterling: Well, no one just lets themselves get buried alive.
Grissom: Well, maybe the killer had a gun on him.
Alan Brooks: Well, you can't dig a hole and hold a gun on an unbound victim all at the same time.
Dale Sterling: Well, maybe the hole was dug earlier?
Grissom: That would imply premeditation.
Alan Brooks: Or more than one killer.
Dale Sterling: Maybe the victim was drugged.
Grissom: Sylvia Rogers' dog got sick after chewing on the victim's head, correct?
Dale Sterling: That's right.
Grissom: Did you do blood work?
Dale Sterling: I sent it off to a lab in Reno. Still waiting for the results.
Grissom: Call the lab. Have them do a full drug and tox panel on the blood.
(DALE leaves the room as GRISSOM takes the body's fingerprints. ALAN BROOKS watches.)
Grissom: Maybe whatever was in this man's body is also in the dog's.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. PARKING LOT -- NIGHT]
(The SHERIFF and his men put the body in the back seat of the car. They're about to close the door when GRISSOM stops them.)
Grissom: Hold on a second, fellows.
(GRISSOM puts a tie on the zipper of the bag sealing it shut. ALAN BROOKS looks at his watch. GRISSOM takes a picture of the tie.)
(Done, he backs out and lets them close the back door.)
Grissom: Okay.
(GRISSOM then takes a picture of BARRY, the driver.)
Grissom: Say cheese.
Alan Brooks: Oh, what the hell was that for?
Grissom: Souvenir.
Alan Brooks: Why, is that French for 'evidence'? Straight drive, Barry. Stay out of the casinos.
Barry: You got it, boss.
(BARRY heads for the driver's seat.)
Alan Brooks: You boys have a good night.
(ALAN BROOKS walks past DALE STERLING and GRISSOM as the car with the body moves away.)
Dale Sterling: (murmurs) Man. It was one hell of day. You need a place to sleep?
Grissom: I need a place to work.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. OFFICE - LATE NIGHT]
(CLOSE UP: GRISSOM sprays the wad of paper he removed from the victim's pants pocket. He slowly and carefully pries it open.)
(He hears a door opening and closing.)
(GRISSOM looks up and slowly reaches for his gun. He puts the gun on the desk within easy reach, then goes back to work on the paper.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE -- DAY]
(CATHERINE receives a fax and looks at it. WARRICK appears in the doorway and looks at CATHERINE behind GRISSOM'S desk.)
Warrick: Did I miss a memo or something?
Catherine: Oh, no. Grissom's on a safari.
Warrick: He's got you pushing his paperwork, huh?
Catherine: Oh, no. I'm trying to avoid that. His headless D.B. had a Western LVU bookstore receipt in his pocket. Grissom just unraveled it.
Warrick: Really?
(WARRICK walks into the office.)
Catherine: Wow! Some of these books are a hundred bucks a pop. Tuition, plus room and board -- that's at least another 10k.
Warrick: You got to have money to go to college these days.
Catherine: Yeah, well, I missed that boat. So, most of these are freshman textbooks. Core curriculum.
Warrick: Well, that's at least two thousand students. Maybe you'll get lucky with the victim's prints.
Catherine: Oh, wait. Hang on. "Chiaroscuro Theory and Technique". It's a sophomore-level fine arts text.
Warrick: Freshman in a sophomore course?
Catherine: Narrows the field.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - DAY]
Brass: (V.O.) Actually, we're here about your roommate,
[INT. DORMROOM -- DAY]
(BRASS and CATHERINE question ERIC BROOKS.)
Brass: ... Ross Jenson. Do you know where we can find him?
Eric Brooks: Uh, I actually haven't even seen him since last Friday. I had Wheezer tickets, and we were supposed to go, but he, uh, he blew me off.
Brass: Gone almost a week. That normal?
Eric Brooks: Yeah, he's an art student, you know. He goes off a lot, and for days sometimes.
Brass: Huh.
Eric Brooks: I've been, uh, studying my ass off for this American History midterm, but, uh, feel free to have a look around.
(BRASS finds some drugs in an ALTOID'S container.)
Eric Brooks: That's not mine. I don't know what that is.
Brass: Relax, buddy. This is a homicide investigation.
(CATHERINE sees the shoes and dirt in the closet.)
Catherine: Are these Ross's shoes?
Eric Brooks: I don't know.
Brass: What do you got?
Catherine: Aspen leaf. A little piece of the countryside. Has Ross spent a lot of time up in northern Nevada?
Eric Brooks: Yeah, he liked the scenery up there.
Brass: We're going to need to take that computer and a few things back to the lab.
Eric Brooks: Okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. SCENERY (STOCK) - DAY]
[INT. OFFICE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM is lying on the office couch with his jacket around him as a blanket. The fax prints out some information.)
(GRISSOM is startled awake and he gets up. In his hand, under his jacket he has his gun.)
(He puts the gun on the table and grabs the fax printout. It reads:
WESTERN LAS VEGAS UNIVERSITY STUDENT ID
ROSS JENSON
ID # JENSEN9547
DOB: 8-25-83 {signature}
On the bottom of the sheet, CATHERINE wrote:
TO: GRISSOM
A FACE FOR YOUR HEAD.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. DINER - MORNING]
(GRISSOM talks with GLORIA.)
Gloria: Yeah. Came in here last week. Handsome boy. Nice clothes. Just passing through.
(Quick flashback to: GLORIA talks with ROSS JENSON.)
Gloria: There's, uh, fried chicken, me ...
Ross Jenson: Coffee's about all I can handle right now. Maybe some other time, okay?
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Woman: (to GLORIA) Guess you weren't his type.
Customer (man): Wasn't he the guy driving that gutless little four-banger?
Grissom: What kind of car was it?
Customer (man): Don't know. Kid's car. Something to drive around the city. It's no good for hills. Black, or, what, blue, maybe.
Grissom: Lieutenant?
Alan Brooks: Yeah.
Grissom: The victim was on his way out of town. We know he didn't get very far. So where's his vehicle?
Alan Brooks: (loudly to the diner crowd) Anybody here seen a black or blue mystery vehicle?
Customers: No. CUSTOMERS: Uh-uh. CUSTOMERS: No.
Alan Brooks: Well, I'd say that car's long gone by now.
Grissom: If the killer was a local, he could have ditched the car somewhere near here.
Alan Brooks: Do you have a local suspect?
Grissom: It's a theory.
Alan Brooks: Oh.
Grissom: And like any theory, it doesn't mean anything unless you can prove it.
Alan Brooks: Yeah.
Grissom: May I borrow this?
(GRISSOM pulls the paper place mat with a map of the area toward him.)
Grissom: The victim was last seen here, right?
(GRISSOM marks up the map.)
Alan Brooks: Yeah.
(CUSTOMERS at the counter crane their necks to see what GRISSOM'S doing.)
Grissom: We found his body here.
Alan Brooks: Mm-hmm.
Grissom: This is the only way out of town. The killer had to intercept him somewhere along this road.
Alan Brooks: Knock yourself out.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ROAD - DAY]
(GRISSOM drives down the road. He stops when he sees something on the side of the road. He backs his car up.)
(He sees tire tracks.)
(GRISSOM stops his car and gets out to investigate.)
(Camera lingers on the field kit in the front seat.)
(Taking his camera with him, GRISSOM closes the door. He puts the car alarm on then follows the car tires off to the road side.)
(Just up to the right, he sees the crime scene tape and the hole where they found the body.)
(GRISSOM continues to follow the tracks.)
(Just in front of him, a distance away from the road, he sees a barn.)
(GRISSOM climbs the fence and investigates the barn. He looks inside the barn through a crack in the door and sees a car parked inside. He tries the door and finds that it's barred shut with a wooden plank.)
(GRISSOM walks around the barn and finds an open window.)
(He opens the window and looks inside. On the ground, he sees an old screen.)
(Quick flashback to: The MAN steps on the screen, pushes the window open and jumps outside. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(In the distance, GRISSOM hears his car alarm beeping.)
(Cut to: GRISSOM reaches his car. He turns the alarm off.)
(GRISSOM opens the door and finds that the window is broken and his field kit is missing from the front seat.)
(GRISSOM steps back and looks around the empty road.)
(Camera holds on GRISSOM.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. STERLING'S OFFICE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM walks into the office. DALE STERLING is working on a dog.)
Grissom: Hey, doc, I need to use some of your medical supplies and make a telephone call. It's local.
Dale Sterling: Uh ... okay.
(GRISSOM grabs some supplies and heads for the phone. He puts the supplies on the desk and picks the phone up. He dials. As the phone rings, he notices the windows.)
Grissom: Did you tint these windows yourself?
Dale Sterling: M-m-may be not the best job in the world, but it does the trick.
Grissom: Do you have any tinting film left?
Dale Sterling: Think so.
Grissom: May I use it?
Dale Sterling: Okay. I'll have to go check.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. PARKING LOT -- DAY]
(GRISSOM walks out of the office with a package of medical supplies. ALAN BROOKS pulls up in his car.)
Grissom: (sarcastic) Oh, good, the police. I'd like to report a crime.
Alan Brooks: No kidding?
Grissom: Yeah, my vehicle was broken into and my field kit was stolen.
Alan Brooks: That's going to cramp your style.
Grissom: Not necessarily.
(Not pausing another moment, GRISSOM walks away and heads for the HARDWARE STORE.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HARDWARE STORE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM walks into the store. He leaves his package with the clerk.)
Grissom: Would you keep an eye on this for me?
Clerk: Sure.
Grissom: Thanks.
(GRISSOM picks up a shopping basket.)
Grissom: Excuse me.
(GRISSOM walks down the aisle and picks up various supplies - a battery, a box of storage bags, refillable pencil lead. He moves from aisle to aisle and picks up blank index cards and clear tape off the shelves.)
(ALAN BROOKS walks into the HARDWARE STORE.)
Alan Brooks: Kip.
Clerk: Sheriff.
Alan Brooks: (to GRISSOM) Listen, why don't you come on by and fill out a report about that kit.
Grissom: You think that would help?
Alan Brooks: It wouldn't hurt.
Grissom: (deliberately) I, uh, found the victim's car.
Alan Brooks: Well, I am impressed. Wh ... where was it?
Grissom: It was, uh, ditched in an old barn up in the hills.
Alan Brooks: Uh-huh.
Grissom: I know you don't have any men to spare, so I called the highway patrol. They're sending troopers up there to secure the site.
Alan Brooks: Oh, well, nearest station's in Elko. Should take 'em a couple hours to get here.
Grissom: Well, that should, uh, give you enough time to burn down the barn.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. BARN -- DAY]
(GRISSOM opens the barn doors to let in the light.)
(He takes out the battery and puts it aside. He puts on his gloves as he gets to work on the frame in front of the window. He looks down at the frame and smiles.)
(GRISSOM removes some wiring and attaches it to the battery. He takes out the film and unrolls it over the frame on the floor with the print he wants to remove. He attaches the other ends of the wires to opposite ends of the film.)
(Quick CGI POV: Particles list from the screen to the film. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
(GRISSOM flips the film over and looks at the shoe print underneath.)
(Cut to: GRISSOM opens the car door and examines inside. On the floor he finds a thermos. He shakes it.)
(Cut to: GRISSOM grabs the bag from the backseat and finds clothes inside covered with hair. He takes a sample of the hair.)
(Cut to: GRISSOM looks at the steering wheel.)
(Cut to: He empties the pencil lead in his hand, crushes it in a container cover and uses a soft brush to dust the steering wheel for prints.)
(He uses the clear tape to lift the print off of the steering wheel.)
(He holds the print up and looks at it.)
(As GRISSOM finishes, ALAN BROOKS walks up to the open doorway.)
Grissom: You going to just stand there, or are you coming in?
Alan Brooks: Oh, I don't want to disturb the scene. You carry on. (beat) Shame to see so much work go to waste.
(ALAN BROOKS steps back. GRISSOM walks out of the barn and pushes the door partially closed behind him.)
Grissom: What does that mean exactly?
(THE SHERIFF leans back against the fence, his hands on the rail.)
Alan Brooks: Well, unless you've managed to improvise yourself a warrant as well, this is an illegal search.
Grissom: This barn had been broken into, which makes it a crime scene, even without the murder victim's car inside, so I don't need a warrant. Who owns this place?
Alan Brooks: Nobody. Owner died a few years ago.
Grissom: Well, then who's responsible for the property?
Alan Brooks: His nephew. Marty Cooperman.
(The SHERIFF turns and heads back to his car.)
Alan Brooks: Runs the gas station.
Grissom: Is that who you're protecting?
(The SHERIFF stops and turns around, then heads back to his car. GRISSOM looks at the fence rail the SHERIFF was leaning against, then dusts it for his prints.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. GAS STATION -- DAY]
(GRISSOM pulls in to the gas station. He gets out of the car and sees MARTY COOPERMAN through the broken window.)
Grissom: Hey, you think you can fix this window?
(MARTY walks up to the car and looks at the window.)
Marty Cooperman: Yeah, I think I can fix that.
Grissom: You know that kid that got murdered? We found his car up in the hills. In your uncle's old barn.
Marty Cooperman: Oh, I haven't been up there for years.
Grissom: That's understandable. It's hard to get to. Not too many gas stations around here. You must do pretty good business.
Marty Cooperman: Yeah, I got the only pumps for 23 miles. I do pretty good.
Grissom: You know, uh, the victim's car was full of gas. So you must've seen him, right, even though you said you didn't?
(MARTY turns around to look at GRISSOM.)
Marty Cooperman: I can have your window fixed in a couple hours, Mr. Grissom, and then you can get back home. I think you should do that.
(MARTY turns and leaves.)
(GRISSOM'S phone rings. He answers it.)
Grissom: Grissom.
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY]
Catherine: Everybody in Sleepy Hollow still drawing a blank on the victim?
Grissom: More or less.
Catherine: Well, then somebody's lying. Ross Jenson was having a relationship with someone in jackpot. Greg traced a series of romantic I.M.s from your victim's computer.
Grissom: Greg did?
Catherine: Yeah, he knows stuff. Pretty hot, too. Sounds like he was in love. Brass is still working on a court order for the name. You ever coming back?
(GRISSOM glances over at MARTY COOPERMAN.)
Grissom: Hopefully.
(JUDY walks up to CATHERINE and hands her an envelope.)
Judy: Ms. Willows, this came for you, certified mail.
Catherine: Oh. Thanks, Judy.
(CATHERINE hangs up and takes the envelope from JUDY. She looks at the envelope from:
THE RAMPART CASINO
221 N. RAMPART BOULEVARD
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA 89145.
(It's certified: P 247 546 410.)
(She opens it and finds a check from:
SAM BRAUN
1153 STONE CREEK SUITE 4159
LAS VEGAS, CA 89101
PAY TO THE ORDER: CATHERINE WILLOWS
(DATED) NOV, 03 2003
(CHECK #) 8133
(For $250,000.00.)
(CATHERINE gasps.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAKE - EVENING]
[INT. OFFICE -- EVENING]
(GRISSOM holds two sets of fingerprint cards and examines both of them. DALE STERLING walks into the room.)
Dale Sterling: Just got the blood test results back from Sylvia's dog. There were traces of GHB in his system. I thought GHB was a party drug.
Grissom: It is. It's also a powerful sedative. Could be what was used to subdue him. You know anybody in town that would use this?
Dale Sterling: (chuckles) Uh, weed and speed are the drugs of choice around here.
Grissom: Hey, Doc, take a look at the scope, will you?
(DALE STERLING moves around GRISSOM to take a seat at the table to look through the scope.)
Grissom: I found some hair in Ross Jenson's shirts.
Dale Sterling: That is cat hair.
[SCOPE VIEW: HAIR]
Dale Sterling: Tricolored. Probably ... abyssinian.
Grissom: You wouldn't happen to have any abyssinian patients?
Dale Sterling: One.
(DALE STERLING walks over to his wall where he has pictures of his patients. He takes a particular framed photo down.)
Dale Sterling: Uh ... ah. Here she is. Isis.
(He shows the picture to GRISSOM.)
Dale Sterling: Her owner has allergies. He needed an aggressive, shorthair mouser.
(The picture is of LELAND BROOKS and his cat.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. PARKING LOT -- EVENING]
(GRISSOM walks over to ALAN BROOKS who is standing outside talking with one of this OFFICERS.)
Grissom: Excuse me, Lieutenant. We need to talk.
Alan Brooks: So talk.
Grissom: Privately, please.
Alan Brooks: (to the OFFICER) Just call them.
(He stops in front of GRISSOM.)
Alan Brooks: What?
Grissom: Ross Jenson was having a romantic relationship with someone in this town.
Alan Brooks: And you can you prove that?
Grissom: Yes. I believe he was up here visiting that person. I found cat hairs on his t-shirts. From an abyssinian cat. The kind your brother owns.
Alan Brooks: Just what the hell are you saying?
Grissom: Does your brother live alone?
Alan Brooks: Yes.
Grissom: Is he gay?
Alan Brooks: That is nobody's business.
Grissom: I realize that, but it's relevant to this investigation.
Alan Brooks: No, he was married. He has a kid.
Grissom: Was married?
Alan Brooks: She left him flat, ten years ago. So, what?
Grissom: Look, whether you like it or not, Leland is a suspect. But you already knew that. I'm giving you an opportunity, Lieutenant. So far, you're only guilty of being a good brother.
Alan Brooks: Get in.
(ALAN BROOKS turns, walks around his car and gets behind the wheel. He notices GRISSOM'S hesitation.)
Alan Brooks: What are you worried about? You do have a gun, don't you?
(He starts the car engine.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. TOP VIEW ROAD WAY (STOCK) - LATE EVENING]
[EXT. LELAND BROOKS RESIDENCE -- NIGHT]
(The car stops in the driveway. GRISSOM and ALAN BROOKS get out of the car. LELAND stands in the doorway.)
Alan Brooks: Look, um, just give me a minute with him.
(GRISSOM nods.)
Leland Brooks: Hey, Bubba.
Alan Brooks: Leland. We need to ask you a few ...
Leland Brooks: What's he doing here?
Alan Brooks: Never mind him. You and I need to have a talk.
(LELAND motions for ALAN to come inside with him.)
(The door closes behind them.)
(GRISSOM walks around the driveway and sees a single set of tire tracks.)
(A cat meows and GRISSOM sees the cat on the chair and walks toward it. The voices arguing in the house are closed-captioned at first, then slowly get louder as he approaches the cat.)
(cc) LELAND BROOKS: I said I don't know what you're talking about.
(cc) ALAN BROOKS: Leland, you cannot hide this anymore and I am tired of looking the other way.
Alan Brooks: What are you doing? You put that ... put that down!
Leland Brooks: I don't know what you're talking about.
Alan Brooks: Put that down!
Leland Brooks: I don't know what you're talking about!
(The cat jumps off the chair. GRISSOM turns to follow the cat when a gun goes off and blasts through the window near GRISSOM.)
Leland Brooks: Let me do this!
Alan Brooks: Don't you...!
(GRISSOM looks inside through the broken window and sees the two brothers fighting over a gun. ALAN wrestles the gun away from LELAND.)
Alan Brooks: Leland!
Leland Brooks: Let me do this!
Alan Brooks: Leland!
Leland Brooks: Let me do this!
(ALAN BROOKS uncocks the rifle while LELAND is down on the couch crying.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAKE - EVENING]
[INT. SHERIFF'S OFFICE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM talks with ALAN BROOKS.)
Grissom: You're going to keep Leland in there, right?
Alan Brooks: Yeah, until he's ready to go home.
Grissom: He took at shot at me, and he tried to kill himself.
Alan Brooks: That's not the way I saw it. FYI, Leland's always run pretty hot. Now, that's no secret. As a matter of fact, back in high school he and Marty Cooperman played football together. One Friday night, after a couple of beers, Marty started busting on Leland. And Leland just busts him back. And I helped. And we fractured Marty's leg in three places.
Grissom: So I should be grateful that you showed restraint with me.
Alan Brooks: No, I didn't do it for you. A man shouldn't go through life ashamed of who he is.
(GRISSOM looks down at LELAND BROOKS' fingerprint card.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. CORRAL -- DAY]
(CATHERINE walks up to SAM BRAUN. He leans against the fence watching a horse being exercised. CATHERINE shows SAM the check.)
Catherine: What is this?
Sam Braun: A way to get you to talk to me.
Catherine: Well, I didn't come here to talk. I came to give it back.
Sam Braun: Not enough?
Catherine: You're a murderer.
Sam Braun: Not in the eyes of the law. You look good, Mugs. How's Lindsey? She likes horses, right?
Catherine: Lindsey's none of your business. You keep her out of this.
Sam Braun: I'm her grandfather.
Catherine: Yeah, well, nothing I can do about that.
Sam Bruan: Catherine, it's just a gift. You need the money.
Catherine: And the next time you stab one of your showgirls and you need CSI to cover it, I'm supposed to help you out, right?
Sam Braun: Take a good look at me. Plenty of fresh air, sun on my face. You think I need your help?
Catherine: I don't need your Charity.
Sam Braun: You know what your problem is? You enjoy making life hard.
Catherine: You're lucky Lindsey's too young to understand that.
Sam Braun: Cash it, or tear it up. Do whatever you want. I have one son in jail ... another in the ground. I never did right by your mother. But I'm damn sure going to try to do right by you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM]
(CATHERINE looks down at the check in her hand. She looks at it, then moves to tear it up, but pauses. She can't do it. She looks at the check again.)
(GREG appears in the doorway.)
Greg: Hey, Catherine ...
(CATHERINE hides the check and turns around.)
Catherine: Hey. What's up?
Greg: A possible inconsistency.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. OFFICE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM looks at LELAND'S finger print card. DALE STERLING interrupts him.)
Dale Sterling: Hey ... you have a phone call. Line two. I think it's your wife.
Grissom: Thanks. (to phone) Hello, dear.
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE]
Catherine: The day Ross Jenson left Vegas, he used MapQuest to get directions from his dorm to jackpot.
Grissom: Well, that makes sense. From what I've been able to gather, this was his first and only visit up here.
Catherine: Well, that doesn't make sense. He was involved with someone in jackpot for several months. There were traces of aspen leaves in his dorm room closet. I just assumed he'd been there before.
Grissom: Well, if I believe this was his first and only visit, how do we explain the leaves in his closet?
Catherine: He has a roommate.
Grissom: Does the roommate have a name?
Catherine: Yeah, his name is ... Eric Brooks.
Grissom: (repeats out loud to DALE STERLING) Eric Brooks?
Dale Sterling: Oh, yeah, that's Leland's boy. You guys going to tell him about his dad?
(GRISSOM looks at DALE.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIEW ROOM]
(BRASS and CATHERINE interview ERIC BROOKS.)
Brass: Did you know your father was having a sexual relationship with Ross Jenson?
Eric Brooks: My dad's not gay.
Catherine: Was Ross?
Eric Brooks: We never talked about it.
Brass: Were you in Jackpot, Nevada last weekend?
Eric Brooks: No.
Brass: Ross Jenson was ... visiting your dad. We found his car ditched in a barn outside town.
Catherine: We got your fingerprints from a former ROTC commander of yours, and ... they matched a print that we recovered from the steering wheel.
Eric Brooks: (shrugs and shakes his head) He let me borrow his car all the time. We were roommates.
Brass: That's right. You don't own a car. You ride a motorcycle.
(Quick flashback to: View of the single tire tracks in LELAND BROOKS' driveway with sounds of a motorcycle in the background. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Eric Brooks: Yeah. So?
Catherine: Could I see the bottom of your shoes, please?
(ERIC BROOKS puts his foot on the table for CATHERINE to look at. She compares the shoe with the print.)
Catherine: Well, that's an unusual wear pattern. Matches the shoe print we recovered from the barn near the vehicle.
Brass: Put a lot of miles on your bike. It shows.
(Quick flashback to: The shoe on the motorcycle stirrup. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Catherine: You were there.
(Quick flashback to: ERIC BROOKS arriving at home and findings his dad with ROSS JENSON.)
Grissom: (V.O.) Eric must've known for a while.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JACKPOT - SHERIFF'S OFFICE -- DAY]
(GRISSOM and ALAN BROOKS talk with LELAND.)
Grissom: How did you intend to keep the relationship from your own son?
Leland Brooks: I've been hiding it my whole life.
(LELAND looks at his brother, ALAN.)
Leland Brooks: You knew.
Alan Brooks: Yeah ... I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. I saw you with Ross. I stopped by here last weekend. You and he were taking a walk.
Leland Brooks: I'm sorry.
Alan Brooks: You got nothing to be sorry about. Nothing.
Leland Brooks: Lee, it turns out Eric ...
Grissom: Mr. Brooks, your son killed Ross Jenson.
Leland Brooks: That is t possible.
Grissom: According to the evidence, it is.
(Quick flashback to: ERIC BROOKS reaches into the car and takes out ROSS JENSON'S thermos.)
Catherine: (V.O.) We tested the thermos and found traces of GHB.
(ERIC pours the drugs into the thermos.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIE ROOM]
Catherine: You used Ross' drugs to subdue him.
Brass: It's a long drive from Jackpot to Vegas. You knew he'd stop for a refill before he left town.
(Quick flashback to: ROSS JENSON takes a drink from his cup. Cut to: ROSS JENSON starts to get woozy. He falls asleep and his car goes off the road.)
(ERIC finds ROSS out cold in the car.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Leland Brooks: (crying) Eric never could deal with the fact that his mother left. And, uh, she just wanted a husband. All I wanted was a family.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERVIE ROOM]
Eric Brooks: People in town ... they said my dad was "different." But he wasn't. He was just lonely. And Ross, like, totally used that to ruin him. It was all Ross.
Brass: That why you drugged him? Drove him into the woods? Put him in a hole ...
(Quick flashback to: ERIC walks ROSS to the hole.)
Ross Jenson: Where are you taking me?
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Brass: ... buried him up to his neck ...
(Quick flashback to: ERIC starts to cover ROSS with dirt. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Brass: ... cut him ...
(Quick flashback to: ERIC takes out his knife and cuts ROSS on the cheek.)
Ross Jenson: What are you doing?
(He screams.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Catherine: Why didn't you go the distance? Why didn't you finish him off yourself?
Eric Brooks: Because I wanted him to suffer.
Catherine: Because he was in love with your father? Or because he wasn't in love with you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAKE - DAY]
[EXT. GAS STATION -- DAY]
(MARTY finishes the repair on GRISSOM'S car window.)
Grissom: I don't suppose that comes with a warranty?
Marty Cooperman: Nothing around here does, Mr. Grissom. Thanks for the business.
(ALAN BROOKS walks out of the building.)
Alan Brooks: Hey, Marty.
(MARTY doesn't say anything and heads back to the gas station.)
Grissom: Does he ever talk to you?
Alan Brooks: Not one word since high school. Listen, when we found that torso in the hole, on the crest of that hill ... I recognized the kid's shirt, and I knew he'd been with Leland, so ...
Grissom: So you assumed your brother was capable of murder.
Alan Brooks: Didn't even ask him what happened.
Grissom: Questions, remember? Not asking them is what got everybody in trouble here in the first place.
Alan Brooks: You don't keep any secrets, Mr. Grissom? Not even from your wife?
Grissom: (amused) I used to. I'm trying to change.
Brooks: It's a bitch. Have a good trip.
(GRISSOM gets into his car.)
(He glances in the back seat and finds his field kit. He looks at the SHERIFF standing outside. He smiles, then starts the car and leaves heading out of Jackpot.)
|
Plan: A: Dr. Robbins; Q: Who receives a severed head? A: Grissom; Q: Who goes to Jackpot, Nevada? A: the locals; Q: Who does Grissom find out he can't expect much help from? A: Even the sheriff; Q: Who seems to be hiding something? A: Catherine; Q: Who gets an unexpected gift from her father? Summary: When Dr. Robbins receives a severed head, Grissom goes to Jackpot, Nevada in search of the rest of the body. When he arrives he soon finds out that he cannot expect much help from the locals. Even the sheriff seems to be hiding something. Meanwhile, Catherine gets an unexpected gift from her father.
|
Stiles: You know when you're drowning, you don't actually inhale until right before you black out. It's called voluntary apnea. It's like no matter how much you're freaking out, the instinct to not let any water in is so strong that you won't open your mouth until you feel like your head's exploding. But then when you finally do let it in, that's when it stops hurting. It's not scary anymore. It's - it's actually kind of peaceful.
Ms. Morrell: Are you saying you hope Matt felt some peace in his last moments?
Stiles: I don't feel sorry for him.
Ms. Morrell: Can you feel sorry for the nine - year - old Matt who drowned?
Stiles: Just because a bunch of dumbasses dragged him into a pool when he couldn't swim doesn't really give him the right to go off killing them one by one. And by the way, my dad told me that they found a bunch of pictures of Allison on Matt's computer. And not just of her though. I mean, he photoshopped himself into these pictures. Stuff like them holding hands and kissing. You know, like he had built this whole fake relationship. So yeah, maybe drowning when he was nine years old was what sent him off the rails, but the dude was definitely riding the crazy train.
Ms. Morrell: One positive thing came out of this, though. Right?
Stiles: Yeah. Yeah, but I still feel like there's something wrong between us. I don't know. It's just like tension when we talk. Same thing with Scott.
Ms. Morrell: Have you talked to him since that night?
Stiles: No, not really. I mean, he's got his own problems to deal with though.
Scott: Mom. Mom, we're gonna have to talk about this eventually. Okay. I'm going. I love you.
Stiles: I don't think he's talked to Allison either. But that might be more her choice, you know. Her mom dying hit her pretty hard. But I guess it brought her and her dad closer. Jackson? Jackson hasn't really been himself lately. Actually the funny thing is, as of right now, Lydia is the one who seems the most normal.
Ms. Morrell: And what about you, Stiles? Feeling some anxiety about that championship game tomorrow night?
Stiles: Why would you ask me that? Ah. Uh, no. I - I never actually play. But hey, since one of my teammates is dead and another one's missing, who knows, right?
Ms. Morrell: You mean, Isaac. One of the three runaways. You haven't heard from any of them, have you?
Stiles: How come you're not taking any notes on this?
Ms. Morrell: I do my notes after the session.
Stiles: Your memory's that good?
Ms. Morrell: How about we get back to you? Stiles?
Stiles: I'm fine. Yeah, aside from the not sleeping, the jumpiness, the constant, overwhelming, crushing fear that something terrible's about to happen.
Ms. Morrell: It's called hyper - vigilance, the persistent feeling of being under threat.
Stiles: But it's not just a feeling, though. It's - it's like it's a panic attack. You know, like I can't even breathe.
Ms. Morrell: Like you're drowning?
Stiles: Yeah.
Ms. Morrell: So if you're drowning, and you're trying to keep your mouth closed until that very last moment, what if you choose to not open your mouth? To not let the water in?
Stiles: You do anyway. It's a reflex.
Ms. Morrell: But if you hold off until that reflex kicks in, you have more time, right?
Stiles: Not much time.
Ms. Morrell: But more time to fight your way to the surface?
Stiles: I guess.
Ms. Morrell: More time to be rescued?
Stiles: More time to be in agonizing pain. I mean, did you forget about the part where you feel like your head's exploding?
Ms. Morrell: If it's about survival, isn't a little agony worth it?
Stiles: But what if it just gets worse? What if it's agony now and then - and it's just hell later on?
Ms. Morrell: Then think about something Winston Churchill once said - "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Gerard: As you can see, Scott, there's been some interesting developments lately. I think we should catch up.
Gerard: Come on, Scott, let's be realistic about who's got the upper hand here.
Scott: Let her go.
Gerard: Can't do that. But let her live? That's up to you.
Scott: What do you want?
Gerard: I want to talk. You haven't been answering your phone.
Scott: Let her go, and we can talk about whatever you want.
Gerard: I want the same thing that I have always wanted. I want Derek and his pack.
Scott: You have them all in hiding. How am I supposed to know where they are?
Gerard: I think with the proper motivation, you could draw them out. And if you hadn't noticed, I now have a fairly impressive means by which I can motivate people. Why do you think I'm able to control him? Oh, you know the myth, Scott. The kanima is a weapon of vengeance.
Scott: This is about Kate?
Gerard: I didn't just come here to bury my daughter. I came to avenge her.
Scott: Are you okay?
Melissa: Oh, I don't know what's happening. I don't know what that thing was or even what you are, but whatever he wants, just give it to him.
Scott: Mom, it's not that easy.
Melissa: Do what he wants. Just give him what he wants.
Scott: I don't know if I can.
Erica: Derek told us to be back before sunup.
Boyd: I thought I heard something.
Erica: Look, if we're gonna do that whole "I thought I heard something" thing, then we shouldn't be stopping. We should be running.
Boyd: No, listen.
Erica: Coyote? Wolf?
Boyd: No, it can't be. There are no wolves in California.
Erica: No, but there are werewolves.
Boyd: That didn't sound like Derek.
Erica: Maybe it was -
Derek: You decided. When?
Erica: Tonight.
Boyd: Everyone's gonna be at the game. We figured it was the best time.
Erica: It's not like we want to.
Derek: What do you want?
Erica: Since I just turned 16 a month ago, I wouldn't mind getting my license. I can't do that if I'm dead, you know.
Derek: Well, I told you there was a price.
Boyd: Yeah, but you didn't say it would be like this.
Derek: Yeah, but I told you how to survive. You do it as a pack. And you're not a pack without an Alpha.
Boyd: We know.
Derek: You wanna look for another pack? How are you even gonna find one?
Boyd: We think we already did.
Deaton: Would you mind seeing who that is? It's okay, Isaac. We're open.
Erica: Like all of a sudden we heard all this howling. It was unbelievable.
Boyd: There must have been a dozen of them.
Erica: Maybe more.
Derek: Yeah, or maybe only two. You know what the Beau Geste effect is? If they modulate their howls with a rapid shift in tone, 2 wolves can sound like 20.
Erica: Look that doesn't matter, okay? There's another pack out there. There's got to be. We've made up our minds.
Boyd: Yeah, we lost, Derek. And it's over. We're leaving.
Derek: No. No, you're running. And once you start, you don't stop. You'll always be running.
Peter: I expected a slightly warmer welcome. But point taken.
Isaac: Why does it smell like that? What?
Deaton: Scott said almost the same thing to me a few months ago. One day he could somehow tell the difference between which animals were getting better and which were not.
Isaac: He's not getting better, is he? Like cancer.
Deaton: Osteosarcoma. It has a very distinct scent, doesn't it? Come here. I know you're well aware of what your new abilities can do for you. Improved strength, speed, and healing. You ever wonder what it could do for others? Give me your hand. Go on.
Isaac: What did I do?
Scott: You took some of his pain away.
Deaton: Only a little bit. But sometimes a little can make quite a difference.
Scott: It's okay. First time he showed me, I cried too.
Peter: It's quite a situation you've got yourself in here, Derek. I mean, I'm out of commission for a few weeks and suddenly there's lizard people, geriatric psychopaths, and you're cooking up werewolves out of every self - esteem - deprived adolescent in town.
Derek: What do you want?
Peter: Well, I want to help. You're my nephew. The only relative that I have left. You know, there's still a lot that I can teach you. Can we just talk?
Derek: Sure. Let's talk.
Isaac: They're leaving tonight, during the game.
Scott: So, why are you telling me?
Isaac: I'm not telling you. I'm asking you. I'm asking for your advice.
Scott: From me? Why?
Isaac: Because I trust you.
Scott: Why?
Isaac: Because you always seem to want to do the right thing.
Scott: I usually have no idea what I'm doing. Actually I always have no idea what I'm doing.
Isaac: Hmm. Do you want to let me know what you're doing right now?
Scott: I'm not going anywhere if that's what you mean. I have too many people here who need me.
Isaac: Well, I guess that makes me lucky 'cause uh - 'cause I don't have anyone, so.
Scott: Are you gonna go with them?
Isaac: Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. Good luck with the game though.
Scott: Well, thanks, but I'm not - I'm not going either. Can't even think about playing some meaningless game right now.
Isaac: You weren't at practice last week, were you?
Scott: No, I skipped it. Why?
Isaac: Then you didn't hear?
Scott: Hear what?
Isaac: Jackson was there.
Scott: What do you mean "there"? Like, he was -
Isaac: As if nothing had happened.
Scott: Really? That means - the game tonight?
Isaac: Yeah. He's playing.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Danny: You okay, dude?
Jackson: I'm perfect.
Danny: Well, we all know that, but are you okay? You didn't answer my texts all week. I'm getting worried about you. Jackson. Jackson!
Player: Wow, good to go.
Jackson: Stay in the goal tonight, Danny. Do not come out. And if you see me coming towards you, run the other way as fast as you can.
Coach: "Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will be joining others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind."
Melissa: What?
Coach: "Mankind - that word should have new meaning for all of us today."
Melissa: What the hell is he talking about?
Stiles: He does this every year.
Melissa: Seriously?
Stiles: Yeah.
Coach: "We are fighting for our right to live."
Players: Yeah!
Melissa: Wait, is this?
Stiles: Yeah, it's the speech from Independence Day.
Coach: "But as the day the world declared in one voice - "
Stiles: It's Coach's favorite movie.
Coach: "We will not go quietly into the night!"
Melissa: He doesn't know any sports speeches?
Stiles: I don't think he cares.
Coach: "Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
Players: Yeah!
Gerard: Well spoken, coach. I might have chosen something with a little more historical value, but there's no denying your passion. And while I haven't been here long, there's no denying my pride in having a winning team for this school. I know you'll all be brilliant tonight, even with only one co - captain leading you. Now, I'm your principal, but I'm also a fan. So don't think I'll be content to watch you merely beat this team. Get out there and murder them.
Coach: You heard the man. Asses on the field!
Players: Yeah!
Scott: Coach, are you benching me?
Coach: It's not my decision.
Scott: But I have to play.
Coach: McCall, you're failing three classes. Academics come first.
Scott: Coach, you don't get it. You have to let me play.
Coach: McCall, no. Not tonight. Tonight, you're on the bench.
Peter: You don't actu - actually think that I want to be the Alpha again, do you? That wasn't my finest performance, considering it ended in my death. I mean, I'm usually more - okay, go ahead! Come on, do it. Hit me, hit me. I can see that it's cathartic for you. You're letting go of all the anger, self - loathing, and hatred that comes with total and complete failure. I may be the one taking the beating, Derek, but you've already been beaten. So, go ahead. Hit me if it will make you feel better. After all, I did say that I wanted to help.
Derek: You can't help me.
Scott: Your dad coming?
Stiles: Yeah, he's already here.
Scott: You seen Allison?
Stiles: No, you seen Lydia?
Scott: Not yet.
Stiles: You know what's going on?
Scott: Not yet.
Stiles: It's going to be bad, isn't it? I mean, like people screaming, running for their lives, blood, killing, maiming kind of bad?
Scott: Looks like it.
Stiles: Scott, the other night seeing my dad get hit over the head by Matt, you know, while I'm just lying there and I can't even move, it just - I want to help, you know, but I can't do the things that you can do. I can't -
Scott: It's okay.
Stiles: We're losing, dude.
Coach: The hell are you talking about? Game hasn't even started. Now put on your helmet and get out there. You're in for Greenberg.
Stiles: What? What happened to Greenberg?
Coach: What happened to Greenberg? He sucks. You suck slightly less.
Stiles: I'm playing? On the field? With the team?
Coach: Yes, unless you'd rather play with yourself.
Stiles: I already did that today, twice.
Coach: Get the hell out there!
Stiles: Ah.
Sheriff: Oh, no. Why is my son running out to the field?
Melissa: Because he's on the team?
Sheriff: He is.
Melissa: Mm - hmm.
Sheriff: He's on the team. He's - he's on the field. My son is on the field!
Stiles: Oh, dear God.
Gerard: Scott, can you hear me? Ah, you can. Good. Then listen closely because the game is about to get interesting.
Chris: Play it again.
Gerard: Let's put a real clock on this game, Scott. I'll give you until the last 30 seconds. When that scoreboard clock begins counting down from 30, if you haven't given me Derek, then Jackson is gonna kill someone. So tell me, Scott, who's gonna die tonight? Should it be your mother, who so bravely came out to support you? Or the sheriff, your best friend's father? Or how about the pretty little redhead who managed to survive the bite of an Alpha? Or maybe one of these innocent teenagers with their whole life ahead of them?
Stiles: Oh, God.
Gerard: Or should I do everyone a favor and kill that ridiculous coach? It's up to you, Scott. But you are going to help me take Derek down. Because if you don't - I'll have Jackson rip someone's head off right in the middle of the field and drench everyone you love and care about in blood.
Peter: See? Prime example right here. I'm not healing as fast. Coming back from the dead isn't easy, you know. I'm not as strong as I used to be. I need a pack. An Alpha like you. I need you as much as you need me.
Derek: Why would I want help from a total psycho?
Peter: First of all, I'm not a total psycho. And by the way, you're the one that slashed my throat wide open. But we're all works in progress, right? So, we need each other. Sometimes when you need help, you turn to people you'd never expect.
Melissa: He's probably just warming up.
Stiles: Ooh, I got it, I got it, I got it. I got it, I got it.
Lydia: Oh, he's just a little nervous. Plenty of time to turn it around.
Stiles: Ow.
Coach: Sit down, McCall.
Scott: But, coach, we're dying out there.
Coach: Oh, I'm aware of that. Now sit.
Scott: You came to help.
Isaac: I came to win.
Erica: Come on! Run!
Boyd: Run! Run!
Erica: Come on!
Chris: Allison, wait.
Erica: No! No, no, run. Go. Go!
Isaac: You got a plan yet?
Scott: No, right now it's pretty much just keep Jackson from killing anyone.
Isaac: Well, that might be easier if you're actually in the game. We have to make it so coach has no choice but to play you.
Scott: How do we do that? He's got a bench full of guys he can use before he ever puts me on the field. Can you do it without putting anyone in the hospital?
Isaac: I can try.
Coach: Lahey! Ramirez! You're in. Murphy. You're in. Lahey! Seriously, what the hell is your problem?
Erica: Stop.
Isaac: It's not broken. But I can't move it. I think Jackson nicked me 'cause I can feel it spreading.
Gerard: You want to play chess, Scott? Then you better be willing to sacrifice your own pawns.
EMT: One, two, three.
Coach: McCall. Either you're in or we forfeit.
Melissa: Hey, something's happening, isn't it? Something more than a lacrosse game?
Scott: You should go.
Melissa: Oh, I'm not going anywhere. And everything that I said before, forget it. All of it. Okay? If you can do something to help, then you do it. You have to.
Scott: I will.
Erica: Stop! Please, Allison, stop.
Gerard: Don't you know what you're really bargaining for, Scott? Haven't you guessed what the real offer on the table is? It's Allison. It's always been Allison. You give me Derek, and I'll let you have Allison.
Allison: You owe me a new bow.
Chris: You owe me an explanation.
Allison: For what? I caught them. Me.
Chris: "Caught" came very close to kill. And that's not the way we do this.
Allison: Maybe it's not the way you do it. I think my way worked out pretty well.
Chris: Allison -
Allison: Hey, grandpa, it's me. We got our two runaways. Call us back. What?
Chris: It's just the first time I've heard you call him that.
Gerard: It was a good effort, Isaac. It was. This would be so much more poetic if it were halftime.
Peter: You tried to build your pack. You tried to prepare for the worst. You weren't ready. Because of it, Gerard is winning. He's taking his time. He's toying with Scott. He's going after your wolves, one by one. He's relishing in his victory.
Derek: How about you tell me something I don't know?
Peter: Oh, I'm going to. And it's gonna prove why you should trust me. Why you need to trust me. Because I'm going to tell you how to stop Jackson.
Derek: What do you mean? Know how to kill him?
Peter: Actually, how to save him.
Coach: McCall! Where's McCall?
Stiles: Oh, oh, oh. Ah!
Sheriff: Oh, crap.
Coach: Stilinski! Shoot it. Shoot the ball! Shoot it, you idiot!
Lydia: Shoot it!
Stiles: I scored a goal? I scored a goal! I scored a goal!
Scott: Where is he?
Sheriff: Yeah!
Peter: There's a myth that you can cure a werewolf simply by calling out its Christian name.
Derek: It's just a myth.
Peter: Sometimes myths and legends bear a hint of truth. Our name is a symbol of who we are. The kanima has no identity. That's why it doesn't seek a pack.
Derek: It seeks a master.
Peter: And who else grows up with no pack? No identity?
Derek: An orphan.
Peter: Like Jackson. And right now, his identity is disappearing beneath a reptilian skin and you need to bring him back.
Derek: How?
Peter: Through his heart. How else?
Derek: You know, in case you hadn't noticed, Jackson doesn't really have too much of a heart to begin with.
Peter: Not true. He'd never admit it, but there is one person. One young lady with whom Jackson shared a real bond. One person who can reach him. Who can save him.
Derek: Lydia.
Peter: Your best ally has always been anger, Derek, but what you lack most is a heart. That's why you've always known that you need Scott more than anyone. And even somebody as burned and dead on the inside as me knows better than to underestimate the simple yet undeniable power of human love.
Coach: We did it. We won!
Lydia: Yes.
Stiles: Yeah!
Scott: Nothing happened. Nothing.
Melissa: Scott! Scott, where are you? Scott!
Scott: Mom, mom, mom, mom. Are you okay?
Melissa: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. But somebody is hurt. Somebody is down on the field.
Coach: Get out of the way. Move. Back off! Move.
Lydia: Jackson? What's happened to Jackson? Jackson! Jackson! Jackson, what's happening?
Coach: Can we get a medic over here? We're gonna need a medic!
Melissa: He's not breathing. No pulse.
Coach: Nothing?
Melissa: Nothing.
Coach: Oh -
Lydia: Oh, my God. There's blood. There's blood.
Scott: Look.
Isaac: He did it to himself.
Melissa: Get down here. Get down here and hold his head. Tilt it up.
Sheriff: Stiles. Where's Stiles? Where - where's my son? Where's Stiles? Where's Stiles? Where's Stiles? Where the hell is my son?
|
Plan: A: Derek; Q: Who does Gerard want Scott to bring to him? A: the Argent werewolf genocide; Q: What are Boyd and Erica terrified of? A: the championship lacrosse game; Q: What event is happening when Gerard threatens to murder someone? A: Kanima; Q: What is the name of the creature Gerard threatens to use? A: Allison; Q: Who ruthlessly shoots Boyd with arrows? A: Chris; Q: Who is upset by Allison's actions? A: Stiles; Q: Who has gone missing? A: a massive winning streak; Q: What does Stiles start on the field? A: Jackson; Q: Who is found bleeding and unresponsive? A: his own claws; Q: What did Jackson stab himself with? A: Sheriff Stilinski; Q: Who makes the grim discovery that Stiles is missing? Summary: Boyd and Erica leave Derek, terrified of the Argent werewolf genocide . At the championship lacrosse game, Gerard threatens to murder someone with the Kanima if Scott does not bring Derek to him by the game's end. Allison ruthlessly shoots Boyd with arrows until the werewolves are saved by Chris, who is upset by Allison's actions. On the field, Stiles begins a massive winning streak, and their team wins. Just then, Jackson is found bleeding and unresponsive; he has stabbed himself with his own claws. Sheriff Stilinski makes a grim discovery: Stiles has gone missing.
|
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(Hook has managed to make his way down the beanstalk. When he jumps down, he finds Cora waiting for him.)
Cora: My dear Captain. It seems you've been on quite an adventure. The compass, please.
Hook: Yes, that. Well... Matters grew complicated. It's eluded me for the moment. The details of the affair are a bit of a bore.
Cora: Really? Stealing my protection spell and climbing the beanstalk without me might seem like a bore to you. But to me, it's a betrayal.
Hook: I was going to bring it to you. Our agreement remains. We are going to Storybrooke, together. I'll get it back.
Cora: I don't have time for your games. I've crossed through too many worlds to be brought short at the brink of success. Who was it who bested you?
Hook: The Swan girl - Emma. Rest assured, it won't happen again.
Cora: No, it won't. You chose her, and the consequences of that decision.
Hook: Oh. Are you going to kill me, now? Go ahead. Try.
Cora: So brave. No, I'm not going to kill you. I have something far more satisfying in mind. I'm going to leave you here with your thirst for revenge unquenched, while I complete our journey without you.
Hook: There's no need to be rash. We can... Discuss this.
Cora: Your pretty face buys you a lot, but not my time. It's too valuable.
Hook: I can do this. I can get it back. You need me.
Cora: No, I don't. You've had your chance. Now, it's my turn to do this. The right way.
(Hook lunges towards Cora, but she disappears in a puff of smoke.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Cora reappears in a hut with several drawers filled with hearts. She takes one out of its box and blows on it, causing the rest of the hearts to begin glowing. The drawers slide out, and the hearts can be heard beating. Still holding the heart, Cora steps outside, where corpses are strewn across the field.)
Cora: Rise.
(The corpses begin to move, then stand to their feet. They start to march into the woods.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Emma, Mary Margaret, Aurora, and Mulan are still in the woods. Emma holds up a picture of Henry in front of Aurora's face.)
Emma: The boy you saw in your dream - is that him?
Aurora: Yes. That's Henry.
Emma: That's impossible. It was a dream. How could you dream of my son?
Aurora: I have no idea.
MMB: Maybe it wasn't a dream.
Emma: What?
MMB: That room... I've been there.
Aurora: When I told you about it, you didn't say anything.
MMB: You were terrified. I didn't want to make things worse by telling you I thought it might be real.
Mulan: A room in a dream is real?
MMB: The sleeping curse. It has to be. I went through it, Aurora went through it...
Emma: Henry's been through it because I wouldn't believe him.
MMB: Emma...
Aurora: What else did you lie about?
MMB: I was... I wasn't lying. I was protecting you.
Emma: What did he say - Henry? In the... In the dream?
Aurora: He just said his name. He... And then, I woke up, and... It was over.
MMB: Emma. It's going to be okay.
Emma: We are so far from okay.
MMB: No. We have a way home now.
Emma: We have a compass, and the wardrobe ashes are still with Cora.
Mulan: Any attempt to steal from her would be suicide.
MMB: Not anymore. We can stop her.
Mulan: How?
MMB: I don't know. But I know someone who does... Rumpelstiltskin. He'll know a way.
Emma: Henry. We can talk to him. Now we can communicate.
Aurora: Wait, wait.
Emma: Oh yeah, Princess. You're going back to sleep.
-[Netherworld]-
(Aurora appears in the flaming room in the Netherworld.)
Aurora: Henry! Henry! Henry! Henry!
(Henry appears.)
Henry: Hello? Hello?
Aurora: Henry! Henry, it is you!
Henry: Yeah! Who are you?
Aurora: My name is Aurora. I'm with your mom and your grandmother.
Henry: Are they okay?
Aurora: Yes, they're fine. They just want to come home. And they need your help.
Henry: Okay, so what do I need to do?
-[Storybrooke]-
(At Mary Margaret's apartment, Henry jolts up from his dream. Regina and David, who are asleep near Henry's bed, are awakened by Henry's yelling.)
Henry: They're... They're alive. They're alive!
David: Who? Who's alive?
Henry: My mom and Snow.
David: I told you, kid. I told you!
Regina: Was... Was it that woman you saw? Did she tell you this?
Henry: Her name's Aurora. She said they have a way home, but there's someone in their way - someone they need us to help them stop. Someone only Mr. Gold knows how to defeat.
Regina: Who?
Henry: Your mother.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Belle and Mr. Gold are having lunch at Granny's Diner. Granny serves them burgers and fries.)
Belle: They smell delicious, Granny.
Granny: They are delicious. Didn't take any dark magic, either. Oh, and, uh, I charge extra for the pickles.
Mr. Gold: Mmhmm.
(Granny goes back up to the front.)
Mr. Gold: I have a complicated relationship with her... As I do with most people.
Belle: Well, it, uh... It did take me a little time to get to know you. They will.
Mr. Gold: You know, you should try it with ketchup. Condiments are this world's most powerful magic.
(Regina enters the diner and stalks towards their table.)
Regina: Gold. We need to talk.
Mr. Gold: Do we?
(Granny sees the incoming altercation and intervenes.)
Granny: Folks, I think I may need to close early. Uh, everybody out.
Regina: No. It's okay. We're civil.
Mr. Gold: Yeah, for now. Belle, you remember the woman who locked you up for twenty-eight years?
Belle: Uh, I should probably just-
Mr. Gold: No, no. Please, stay where you are. Whatever she has to say, won't be a secret from you. Whatever she wants, she won't get.
Regina: I'm actually coming about the one thing that might unite us.
Mr. Gold: And what on earth can that be?
Regina: Cora. She's coming from our land. I need your help to stop her.
Mr. Gold: But she was dead. You told me you saw the body.
Regina: Apparently, you taught her well. She's not, and she's on her way. And I don't think I need to remind you, how most unpleasant that would be for both of us.
Mr. Gold: For you. I can handle Cora.
Regina: That's not how she tells the story.
Mr. Gold: I won in the end.
Regina: Maybe. But there's a big difference this time. This time, you have someone you care about. This time, you have a weakness.
Belle: I'm... I'm sorry. Who... Who is this woman?
Mr. Gold: Someone you'll never meet. So you say she's coming. Where is she now?
Regina: With them.
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(The group is walking through the forest.)
Emma: How close are we? Henry could already be waiting in that Netherworld.
Aurora: No, we planned to meet back there in two hours.
MMB: You're not going to leave him waiting.
Emma: Yeah, but what if he's-
Aurora: He was fine.
MMB: There. That looks like relatively safe high ground. We'll set up camp there. Aurora, you'll settle in and find Henry - get the information we need from Rumpelstiltskin. And we do this fast, in and out. It's still dangerous out here.
(Aurora gets caught on a branch and stops. Mulan notices.)
Mulan: Is something wrong?
Aurora: No, just caught on something.
Mulan: That does not explain your arm.
(Aurora covers her arm with her shawl.)
Aurora: What about my arm?
Mulan: The burns you're hiding - they're not from the sun.
Aurora: I... Brushed against a poison leaf.
Mulan: You said that this Netherworld was full of smoke and flames. Aurora, if that's where you were burned, you should not return.
Aurora: I don't have much of a choice, do I?
Mulan: You're choosing to go in deeper, and staying under longer to find this boy. I vowed to Prince Phillip to protect you, not to help some strangers find a portal to another land.
Aurora: Mulan, I was cursed to spend eternity in that horrible sleep. And, the only reason I'm here, is because you and Phillip risked your lives to save me. Every day since my waking has been a gift, so let me do something with it. It's my turn to help someone else. I'm going to go back in and find that boy.
-[Storybrooke]-
(Henry is lying down on a bed in Mr. Gold's shop. Regina enters with a blanket.)
Regina: I brought your blanket...from your bedroom back home.
(She puts the blanket over Henry. David and Mr. Gold are seen in the background.)
Henry: Thanks. So, Cora... She's pretty powerful?
Mr. Gold: Yes, but, uh, not as powerful as I am.
Regina: Debatable.
Mr. Gold: Actually, no, it's not.
David: You sure you're okay to do this, kid?
Henry: I was born to do this. I'm done reading about heroes. I want to be one.
David: Well, sometimes being one is knowing when not to run into the fire.
Henry: I'll be okay.
Mr. Gold: Look, whatever he faces in there, will be far less dangerous than what he'll face if we fail.
Henry: I can do this.
David: Get on with it. Fast.
Mr. Gold: Alright, Henry. Just relax. And soon, you're going to drift off.
Henry: What do I tell them?
Mr. Gold: Just listen to my bedtime story, and all will be clear.
(Mr. Gold sits next to Henry's bed and places his hand on Henry's forehead.)
Mr. Gold: Once upon a time, Snow White and Prince Charming needed to stun a very powerful magician, long enough to lock him up in a dark dungeon.
Henry: That was you. They used Cinderella to trap you with a magic quill.
(Mr. Gold moves his hand across Henry's face, causing him to fall asleep. He continues the motions as he speaks.)
Mr. Gold: Yes, indeed a quill. And yet, it wasn't the quill itself, but the ink that captured the Dark One - harvested from the rarest species of squid, from the bottom of a bottomless ocean. Impossible to find, unless, you're a mermaid... Or me. I happen to have a private supply. In my jail cell... That is where they will find it.
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(The group has set up camp, and Mulan watches over Aurora as she sleeps.)
MMB: Hey... It'll be okay. You'll see Henry again. This will work.
(A noise is heard in the woods.)
Emma: What was that?
-[Netherworld]-
(Aurora and Henry both arrive at the room in the netherworld.)
Aurora: Henry! Henry! Can you help us?
Henry: Yes! I know what you have to do to stop Cora! You have to go to-
(The flames flare out, muffling Henry's voice.)
Henry: Rumpelstiltskin's cell!
Aurora: Where? We have to go where? Wait. Where do we have to go?
Henry: Rumpelstiltskin's-
(Again, the flames cut Henry off and muffle his voice.)
Aurora: Henry! Henry, I...
(A voice is heard from an unknown source.)
Voice: Aurora!
Aurora: Who is that?
Henry: Did you hear me?
Aurora: No! Henry, say it again! I-
(The voice is heard again.)
Voice: Aurora.
Aurora: Did you hear that?
Henry: No! Aurora, what's going on?
(The voice is heard again, this time more urgently.)
Voice: Aurora!
Aurora: Do you hear that?
(Suddenly, Aurora is sucked into a vortex and is lifted out of the room.)
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]- (The voice turns out to be Mulan, who is shaking Aurora awake.
Mulan: Aurora, wake up! Aurora, wake up! Wake up!
Aurora: Henry wasn't finished.
Mulan: The time for that is over.
(Cora's zombies have invaded the camp. Mulan draws her sword and fends them off. Elsewhere, Emma and Mary Margaret are also fighting off the zombie horde.)
MMB: Emma, watch out!
(A zombie tackles Emma to the ground, causing Emma to lose the compass. It rolls a few feet away. Another zombie comes along and picks it up.)
Emma: The compass. The compass!
(Mary Margaret shoots the zombie with an arrow, causing the compass to fall back to the ground. Emma scrambles to grab it.)
Emma: Any idea how to kill these things?
MMB: None! Mulan! Mulan?
(The two of them look around, but Aurora and Mulan are nowhere in sight.)
Emma: Where is she?
MMB: Emma, we've got to run for it!
(Emma and Mary Margaret flee the campsite. Meanwhile, Mulan is helping Aurora navigate through the forest.)
Mulan: Come on - hurry. Aurora, go.
(The zombies catch up to them. One grabs Mulan and drags her to the ground, while the others swarm Aurora.)
Aurora: No!
(Mulan fights off the zombie but, when she gets up, she realizes Aurora is gone.)
Mulan: Aurora!
(Emma and Mary Margaret have successfully escaped the zombies.)
Emma: You still in one piece?
MMB: Yeah, pretty much.
(They hear a rustling in the bushes. Mary Margaret draws an arrow, but stops when Mulan emerges.)
Mulan: They took her. Aurora's gone.
-[Storybrooke]-
(Henry awakens from his dream. David rushes to his side.)
David: Henry. Are you alright?
Mr. Gold: Did you see her? Did you tell her?
Henry: No. I... I didn't get the chance. Something... Something happened. She... She got sucked out of there.
(They all notice that Henry appears to be in pain.)
Regina: Henry?
Henry: Some... Something's wrong.
(Regina pulls back Henry's sleeve, revealing a burn.)
Regina: Henry...
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(Aurora has been taken to 'the pit' at the Haven. Cora enters with a tray of food.)
Cora: I thought you might be hungry. I hope you enjoy stew.
(She places the tray in front of Aurora.)
Aurora: I enjoy anything that masks the bitter aftertaste of poison.
Cora: Plucky. I like that.
Aurora: You might as well go. I'm not going to tell you anything.
Cora: Oh, I know. That's alright. You've nothing to tell. You weren't my target.
Aurora: The compass - sad you lost it?
Cora: I suppose. But now, I have something to trade for it.
Aurora: They'll never trade me for that.
Cora: You might be more valuable than you know.
Aurora: To who? They just met me, and they're trying to get back to their families. Do you really think they'll sacrifice that for a stranger?
Cora: Your newfound companions? You may not know them, but I do. Snow and her daughter just can't help themselves. No matter the personal stakes, they won't let an innocent die.
Aurora: We shall see.
Cora: And what stakes do you have in their cause, Princess? It's not as though you'd travel back with them. Oh... What a sweet, misguided notion. Did you really think you could have a life there? Find another prince? You've forgotten Phillip already.
Aurora: Phillip is in my heart every moment of every day. If there was anything I could do to bring him back, I would.
Cora: Is that so? What if I told you that when a wraith consumes a soul, it merely travels to another realm? But that soul could be brought back to this world? Show me a little courtesy, and I may explain how.
(Aurora kicks the tray of food at Cora.)
Cora: Oh! You stupid, ungrateful girl!
Aurora: I'm not as stupid as you think, nor my loyalty so easily bought. You can bring me a hundred meals, and make me a hundred promises, but I will never help you!
(Cora magically throws Aurora against the wall, knocking her out.)
Cora: Plucky...
(Cora approaches a crow that is perched on a cage in the pit. She gently strokes its chest.)
Cora: Tell them.
(The crow flies out of the dungeon.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The crow reaches the group in the forest, and sits on Mary Margaret's shoulder. Everyone draws their weapons.)
MMB: Wait.
(The crow caws, seemingly 'talking' to Mary Margaret. The crow then flies off.)
Emma: What the hell was that?
MMB: Cora. We have until sundown to bring her the compass. If we don't, she'll kill Aurora.
Mulan: Give it to me.
Emma: Hold on, Mulan. Just give us a minute to consider.
Mulan: There's nothing to consider. A compass is not worth Aurora's life.
MMB: We need a plan to get back Aurora and keep the compass.
Mulan: My vow to Phillip was to protect Aurora. That promise is all that is left of him, so it shall be done.
(Mulan attempts to grab the compass out of Emma's hand.)
Emma: Hey. Hey! I climbed a beanstalk for this. You go get your own.
Mulan: Give it to me!
MMB: Mulan. Mulan. Give us a few hours, please. If we haven't defeated Cora by then, you can have the compass.
Mulan: You can't hope to defeat her. We no longer have access to the Dark One's assistance.
MMB: Yes, we do.
Mulan: How? Aurora's gone.
MMB: Aurora isn't the only one who's been under a sleeping curse. I can go back to that Netherworld.
Mulan: The door to that place is closed. You said it yourself.
MMB: There may be a way... A way for me to go back into a deep slumber. One that can let me access it again.
Emma: Another sleeping curse?
MMB: No, not another curse. I don't need one. I've been under already. I need to go into a sleep where my natural defenses slip away - where my mind stops protecting me.
Emma: How?
MMB: Your sleeping powder... If I inhale it, I will fall into a deep enough sleep that I should be able to do this.
Mulan: I used the last of it on the giant.
MMB: Then make some more.
Mulan: The poppy plant is extremely rare in this kingdom, but I know of a place that may grow some more. It's a bit of a journey from here.
MMB: Can we make it by sundown?
(Mulan nods.)
Mulan: We have to hurry.
-[Storybrooke]-
(Regina is tending to Henry's burn.)
Mr. Gold: Here. Let me take care of this.
(Mr. Gold magically heals the injury.)
Regina: What caused this?
Mr. Gold: When you venture deeper into the Netherworld instead of away, there are risks. Someone woke Aurora before her soul was ready to return. The violence of that act tore her away and injured Henry. We're lucky it wasn't worse. He's going to need some time to recover before he can be sent back.
Regina: Out of the question.
David: Not a chance in hell. We'd be monsters to even consider risking his life again.
Mr. Gold: Careful with your tone, Charming. I understand your concern for the boy, but I know Cora. Without our help, Snow and Emma will soon be dead. And then... A true monster will be on her way to Storybrooke.
Regina: Aurora is gone. Why do we need to send Henry back to that fiery inferno with no one there to receive our message?
David: Because someone will be there.
Regina: Who?
David: Snow.
Regina: Well, that's an awfully big assumption.
David: No. No, it's not. She was there once before. She can go back. She can find a way. She will - I know it. And I'll be waiting.
Regina: You're going to this Netherworld?
David: I faced you. How bad could it be?
Mr. Gold: It's not as simple as that. You can't get there. You haven't been under a sleeping curse.
David: Well, then put me under one.
Mr. Gold: If we do that, there's a chance you might never waken up.
David: Sure I will. When I see her, she'll kiss me, and I'll be fine. Now, put me under. I've spent far too much time looking for my wife. It is time to bring her home.
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(In the pit, Hook tries to awaken an unconscious Aurora.)
Hook: Wake up. Wake up. Come on, sweetheart. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. On your feet. Hurry.
(Aurora gradually comes to and realizes who it is.)
Aurora: No! No! Are you going to kill me?
Hook: If I were here for that, then waking you first might not be the best course of action.
(He breaks the shackles on her wrists.)
Aurora: So what? Did Cora send you?
Hook: Cora has no idea I'm here.
Aurora: I don't... I don't understand.
Hook: Look, I know you're sleepy... Isn't it obvious? I'm setting you free.
Aurora: What is this? Some sort of pirate's ruse?
Hook: Cora's denied me passage to Storybrooke, and my vengeance. And now, I'm going to deny her her wishes, starting with the compass. In pirate terms, you might say I'm firing a shot across my enemy's bow.
Aurora: You'd risk your life to break in here, all so you could thwart Cora?
Hook: I don't like being double-crossed. Now, go.
Aurora: Thank you.
(Aurora goes to leave, but Hook stops her.)
Hook: You can thank me by doing me one favour.
Aurora: What?
Hook: Give Emma a message. Tell her, that the deal still stands. If she provides me passage back to her realm, I swear I will help her find that dust that opens the portal.
Aurora: You really want to assist us?
Hook: It hurts Cora and helps me. Of course I do. Now, go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The group is still traveling through the woods to find the poppies.)
Mulan: Once we crest this ridge, we'll be near the woods of the dead. The last poppies in this realm have taken seed there.
Emma: You okay?
MMB: Yeah, I'm fine.
Emma: Hey. Wait. Wait. No, no, no. You look nervous. This Netherworld... How bad is it? What's it like?
MMB: It's like you're, um... Lost, drifting in the dark. No one to talk to, nothing to do. Except think of all the people that you love, and how you'll never see them again.
Emma: Henry was lost in that dark too because of me.
MMB: What are you talking about?
Emma: He tried so hard to convince me I was the saviour.
MMB: Stop it. Nobody would've believed Henry's stories.
Emma: But his mother should have.
MMB: Okay. You want to play the blame game? If I hadn't told Cora about Regina's true love, Cora never would've killed him. Regina wouldn't want revenge. The curse? Never would have happened. We could spend all day trying to figure out why each of us should feel guilty, but it will not help us get home.
Emma: You really think we're going to make it back?
MMB: If there's one thing your father's taught me, it's not to give up. Now, it's time for me to go back to sleep.
Emma: It's Regina.
MMB: What?
Emma: Regina. That's who we should blame.
-[Storybrooke]-
(Regina is preparing the potion for the sleeping curse, using supplies from Mr. Gold's shop. Henry enters and watches her work.)
Henry: It smells funny.
Regina: I know, sweetheart. It's a curse. It's not meant to be pleasant.
Henry: So the potion's finished? Mr. Gold had everything you needed in his shop?
Regina: Yes. We're almost ready.
Henry: So this is how you do it - Magic.
Regina: There are many ways. It's never easy.
Henry: And... Have you been using magic?
Regina: Henry, I told you I wouldn't, and I haven't. Except for... With Daniel. ...And now. I've really been trying.
Henry: It's okay. At least you're using it to help people now.
Regina: I'm trying. And after this, I won't.
Henry: I know. Will David be okay?
Regina: He'll be...asleep. And in there, he won't die. Gold's explaining everything to him right now.
Henry: It should be me. I can go in there without a curse and still come back.
Regina: Henry. David and I have many differences, but, on this, we agree. We won't let you risk your safety. It's just not worth it.
Henry: It is to me. He won't wake up.
Regina: Unless, he succeeds. And if there's one thing I know about your grandparents, they always find each other.
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(The group has finally found a single poppy in the forest.)
MMB: It's beautiful.
Mulan: I'll use my dagger to crush the seeds. We're doing this the old-fashioned way.
-[Storybrooke]-
(Mr. Gold is discussing the process to David. He has brought him to a spinning wheel.)
David: What do you mean, the old-fashioned way?
Mr. Gold: You're about to join a quite distinguished club, Mr. Nolan. Before such innovations as the apple, back when the sleeping curse first came to be, a more direct method was required... Through blood. By pricking one's finger on the needle of a spinning wheel, one falls under the spell. Your Majesty, you did his wife. I'm sure you'd like the honours.
(Regina dips the end of the needle into the sleeping potion, and then places back onto the wheel.)
Regina: It's all yours.
Henry: Good luck.
David: It's going to be alright.
Henry: How do you know?
David: Well... How did you know Emma would save you after you ate the turnover?
Henry: I... I believed in her.
David: The way Snow and I believed she'd come back to break the curse. That's the kind of faith that runs in our family.
(Henry takes the pendant from around his neck and gives it to David.)
Henry: This helps control the flames in the room. It'll keep you safe.
David: I will guard it with my life.
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(Mulan is grinding up the poppy with her knife, while Mary Margaret sits down and prepares.)
Mulan: The powder's nearly ready.
MMB: How long will the effects last?
Mulan: It's difficult to say. Maybe an hour, or much less.
MMB: Well, I shouldn't need much time. As long as Henry's in there when I am.
Emma: I'll be right here. Say hi to my son for me.
(The poppy powder is finally ready. Mulan holds the handful of powder up to her face and blows towards Mary Margaret. Mary Margaret inhales it, knocking her out.)
-[Storybrooke]-
(David stares at the needle, as Mr. Gold spins the wheel. Regina and Henry watch from the side.)
David: When I awake, I'll be in that fiery room?
Mr. Gold: Not exactly. That room is where those who've already awoken from the curse return. You, however, are being put under for the first time.
David: Then how will I know where to go? How the hell am I supposed to find a room with no door?
Mr. Gold: And that, dearie, is the conundrum we're all depending on you solving. Now, I say this with the utmost sincerity... Good luck.
(He again begins to spin the wheel. This time, David extends his hand a pricks his finger on the needle. He quickly goes under the curse.)
-[Netherworld]-
(When David arrives in the Netherworld, he finds himself in a dark room, lit only by a single torch. He picks the torch up and begins to wander. All of the walls around him are mirrored.)
David: Snow!
(Meanwhile, Mary Margaret arrives in the flaming room.)
MMB: Henry? Henry? Henry? Henry?! Where are you?
(David is still wander through the mirrored part of the Netherworld. In the mirror, he realizes that Henry's necklace is glowing blue. He holds it in his hand, and realizes that it glows brighter the closer he gets to his destination. It continues to glow brighter, until it burns his hand. He drops the pendant on the ground. He bends over to pick it up, but instead touches the floor itself. He draws back his hand when the floor burns him.)
David: The room...
(Using the torch, David breaks through the floor, which appears to be made of glass. It shatters, and he falls into the flaming room with Mary Margaret.)
MMB: Charming? Charming?
David: Snow!
MMB: I don't understand. I... Henry should be here.
David: I wouldn't let him come back. This is... This is too dangerous.
MMB: You found me.
David: You found me. I knew you'd be here.
MMB: I don't know how much time we have.
David: Gold... He says there's a way to stop Cora. We have to stun her like we did with him.
MMB: The quill.
David: It wasn't the quill, it was the ink. There's a jar of it in his cell where we kept him. Get it. Get it, stop her, and come home.
MMB: Charming, how are you here? There's no way for you to be here, unless...
David: I had to see you.
MMB: You're in a sleeping curse.
David: It was worth it.
MMB: Now you're cursed.
David: A curse you're going to break with true love's kiss.
(David leaps over the flames towards Mary Margaret.)
David: Now...
(They go to kiss, but the two of them go straight through each other.)
MMB: No!
David: It's a Netherworld. We're not really here.
(Mary Margaret begins to fade.)
MMB: I'm waking up.
David: It's okay. You'll get back, and then you'll wake me as I woke you. You will always find me, and I will always find you.
MMB: Yes. Will we always lose each other, too? Is that our fate?
David: No. I refuse to believe that. You need to have faith... In us.
MMB: I'm waking up.
David: It's okay. You can do this.
MMB: Charming...
David: I love you.
MMB: I love y-
(Mary Margaret disappears completely, leaving David alone.)
-[Storybrooke]-
(Regina, Mr. Gold, and Henry are waiting for David to wake up.)
Henry: Come on... Come back. Should he be in there so long?
Regina: I'm sure it's fine. I imagine they're just catching up.
(Regina looks to Mr. Gold, who shakes his head.)
-[Fairy Tale Land - Present]-
(Emma, who is sleeping across from Mary Margaret, wakes up as Mary Margaret comes out of the dream.)
Emma: Hey. Hey, you okay?
(Mary Margaret suddenly stands up and jerks away from Emma.)
Emma: What... What happened? What are you doing?
MMB: I'm looking for more powder.
Emma: Well, I'm pretty sure we're out of that. What happened?
MMB: No. I have to go back in. He's all alone.
Emma: Henry? What? Is he okay?
MMB: No. David. He went under a sleeping spell so he could see me. He thought that my kiss would wake him, but it didn't. And now he's trapped.
Emma: Okay, slow down. David is trapped in there?
MMB: I have to get back. There's only one way to help him.
Emma: True love's kiss.
MMB: Yes, but... It won't work in there. We have to get back. If we don't-
Emma: We will. We will.
MMB: Now you're so sure?
Emma: Yes. You told me to have faith, and now I'm telling you. We will make it back. Okay? Did you get the information?
MMB: It's Rumpelstiltskin. He said the key to stopping her is in his jail cell.
Emma: Okay. Then let's go get it. Come on - get your stuff. Come on.
(Emma helps Mary Margaret up, who goes to retrieve her things. Emma checks her pockets, then becomes frantic.)
Emma: No...
MMB: What?
Emma: The compass is gone. And so is Mulan.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Mulan is shown running through the woods, compass in hand.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Cora enters the pit and finds Aurora missing. Hook is waiting for her.)
Hook: Looking for someone?
Cora: Oh, don't tell me you were dumb enough to let her go.
Hook: She was never going to give you what you wanted anyway.
Cora: So, you freed her. And stuck around for the petty satisfaction of seeing me suffer?
Hook: Oh, watching you suffer is a tempting motivation, but it wasn't that.
Cora: Well, then you must have a death wish.
(Cora magically throws and binds Hook against the wall. She removes his Hook and traces it along his chest.)
Cora: You know I have to kill you.
Hook: You should try thanking me.
Cora: Oh, really? Why's that?
Hook: Because I've brought you a gift. It's in the satchel.
Cora: What is it?
Hook: Customarily, surprise is part of the fun of gift giving. Open it.
(Cora removes the satchel from Hook's belt. She looks into the bag.)
Cora: Is that...
Hook: Indeed, it is. And with it, you'll get everything you want.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Mulan is running through the forest, when an arrow zooms past her head, hitting a tree. Mary Margaret and Emma appear.)
MMB: That was a warning shot. Try to run, and I promise the next one won't be.
Mulan: How did you find me?
MMB: I know a thing or two about tracking.
Emma: All we want is the compass.
Mulan: Very well.
(Mulan goes to draw her sword, but Mary Margaret tackles her to the ground before she gets a chance.)
MMB: Give me the compass.
Mulan: And seal Aurora's fate?
MMB: We learned how to overpower Cora. Once we get what we need, we will defeat her, and Aurora will be free.
Mulan: Another journey - just as I predicted there would be. Our best chance to save Aurora, is to make that trade now.
MMB: Not going to happen. Without that compass, we can't get home.
Mulan: Then I hope you're prepared to use that arrow.
(Mary Margaret draws her weapon back, but Aurora's voice stops her.)
Aurora: Stop!
(Aurora appears.)
Emma: Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but how the hell did you get here?
Aurora: Let Mulan go. I said, let her go!
(Mary Margaret gets off of Mulan, and Aurora helps her up.)
Mulan: Were you followed?
Aurora: I... I don't think so. Cora may know I'm gone, but she didn't see me escape.
Emma: How did you escape?
Aurora: It was Hook. He let me go.
Emma: Why?
Aurora: Because of you. He said he wanted to prove to you, that you should've trusted him. That if you had trusted him...
(It cuts to Cora, who is holding Aurora's heart in her hand. Whatever Cora says, Aurora mimics. Hook is watching the display.)
Aurora/Cora: You could've defeated Cora together. That the two of you could've gotten the remains of the wardrobe. Without him, you'll have to go up against her all by yourself. He only wants to help. I... I think he may care for you.
Hook: Nice touch, that.
Cora: But you know she won't trust you.
Hook: Ah, she doesn't have to. All I need, is for her to believe that I was genuine in letting the girl go, which I wager she does now. You're welcome.
Cora: Impressive. You took a heart.
Hook: Now you've a princess.
Cora: Indeed, I do.
Hook: Now, can we get on with the business of going to Storybrooke... Together?
Cora: Why not? I hate to travel alone. All we need is the compass.
Hook: Which will soon be delivered.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The four are still talking in the woods.)
Aurora: Did you find a way to stop Cora?
Emma: Yes.
Aurora: Where are we going?
Emma: Rumpelstiltskin's cell.
Aurora: Great. Then lead the way.
(The group sets off, as Cora continues to manipulate Aurora's actions.)
-[End]-
|
Plan: A: Captain Hook; Q: Who does Cora find? A: Storybrooke; Q: Where does Cora want to take Captain Hook? A: Snow White; Q: Who does Cora want to get the compass back from? A: Aurora; Q: Who does Mulan worry about? A: burns; Q: What is wrong with Aurora's hand? A: the worlds; Q: What worlds are David, Mr. Gold, and Regina working to make sure Henry can travel between? A: the danger; Q: What does David decide to go to the fiery room because of? A: Cora kidnaps Aurora; Q: What does Cora do to Aurora? A: years ago; Q: When was the way to defeat Cora hidden in the fiery room? A: Aurora's heart; Q: What does Captain Hook take from Aurora? A: the Netherworld when Snow; Q: Where does David get stuck? Summary: After Cora finds Captain Hook, she decides she won't be taking him to Storybrooke when she gets the compass back from Snow White. Mulan begins to worry about Aurora when she finds that Aurora has burns on her hand from the fiery room. Mr. Gold, David, and Regina work to make sure that Henry makes it safe back and forth between the worlds. David decides that he is going to go under the sleeping spell to go to the fiery room because of the danger. Cora kidnaps Aurora in an effort to get the compass. Mulan and Emma then send Snow into the fiery room, finding out the way to defeat Cora is hidden in the room they locked Rumplestiltskin in years ago. Captain Hook sets Aurora free to show Emma that she should have trusted him, only for him to take Aurora's heart to convince Cora to take him to Storybrooke with her. Cora uses Aurora's heart to trick Emma, Snow White, and Mulan into believing that Aurora's fine and to find out where they are going. David gets stuck in the Netherworld when Snow isn't able to kiss him to break the curse.
|
TIMELASH
PART ONE
Run time: 45:00
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: Lost?
The Doctor: I am never, ever lost.
Peri: Ha! Wish I could have that on tape.
The Doctor: I was contemplating taking you to the constellation of Andromeda.
Peri: Why?
The Doctor: I haven't been there recently, that's why.
Peri: Well, what about me? Don't I ever get a say in our destination?
The Doctor: Oh. Where would the First Lady suggest?
Peri: Well, I don't mind.
The Doctor: Ha.
Peri: What I mean, Doctor, is I don't mind where we go so long as when we get there, we spend some time and relax.
The Doctor: You want a holiday! Why didn't you say so before? I know the very place.
Peri: Doctor, if you're about to suggest the Eye of Orion, don't. I've heard all about that elusive place once too often. No one lives there and few visit, apart from you.
The Doctor: Oh, but such a beautiful moonset. Ideal tonic for the weary time traveller. But, if that doesn't appeal, as I've said, there is always Andromeda.
Peri: Oh, really. And what's out there?
The Doctor: Some of the most magical sights in the entire universe. Astral starbursts creating a myriad celestial bodies against a timeless royal blue backdrop.
Peri: Very poetic, but that's the exact description you always give of the Eye of Orion.
The Doctor: It is?
Peri: Word for word.
The Doctor: Does nothing please you?
Peri: Yes. Purposeful travel, not aimless wanderings.
The Doctor: Aimless? You see our time together as aimless?
Peri: No, not exactly. I guess not.
The Doctor: I should hope not. Or perhaps you're trying to tell me you've had enough. In that case I can easily set the coordinates for Earth, 1985.
Peri: No, no, that won't be necessary.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Citadel
[SCENE_BREAK]
Aram: We'll have to split up. If just one of us can get out of the Citadel and make it as far as the rebel encampment...
Tyheer: Fat chance. There's got to be another way to defeat the Borad from within the Citadel.
Aram: You please yourself, Tyheer, but I'm getting out. Gazak?
Gazak: I'm with you. If we stay here and are caught, they'll throw in the Timelash. Shush.
Aram: Let's go. Good luck.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: That is a Kontron tunnel. Put more colloquially, it's a time corridor in space.
Peri: Didn't the Daleks have one of those?
The Doctor: It doesn't matter whose tunnel it is, we're heading straight for it and there's nothing we can do about it.
Peri: So? You've always said the TARDIS is indestructible.
The Doctor: Well, that's beside the point. Colliding with a time corridor something one tries to avoid.
Peri: Well, what will it do to us?
The Doctor: You can never tell with a time tunnel. Ah!
Peri: Are you in pain?
The Doctor: I've found out where the corridor's going. You're in luck. It's Earth. It's a period you call 1179AD.
Peri: Oh, I've never been to twelfth century Earth.
The Doctor: As I seem to keep saying, that's beside the point. Once inside a time tunnel, the TARDIS may undergo an adverse Kontron effect.
Peri: Is that bad?
The Doctor: Bad? Bad? Doh. Bad? You don't seem to realise the effect that time particles colliding within a multi-dimensional implosion field can have.
Peri: Hardly.
The Doctor: Well, the short answer is Pow!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Citadel
[SCENE_BREAK]
Guard: Right, loop him up.
Gazak: No!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad: So, you nearly got away.
Aram: What are you?
Borad: The Borad, your master.
Aram: You can't be.
Borad: And you have betrayed me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Brunner: Apparently the rebels attacked a storage chamber last night.
Kendron: Why? Surely they know they can't win?
Brunner: As surely as they know the punishment that awaits their failure.
Mykros: They're bringing up Gazak and Tyheer.
Vena: Tyheer? But Tyheer is a councillor. Mykros, what is going on?
Mykros: I don't know. Things can't be allowed to continue like this. We are tearing the fabric of our society apart.
Vena: The Borad has promised all of us a better place in which to live. We must trust him.
Mykros: When we're losing our own friends? What sort of leader never appears in public, only on a screen?
Vena: You know that is a security measure.
Mykros: Don't be so naive. We never see him because he doesn't care. The only thing that interests the Borad are these endless time experiments.
Vena: He is experimenting for the good of us all. He's a fine leader.
Mykros: Not only is our planet divided, we are under imminent threat of invasion from our former allies, the Bandrils. Is that good leadership? Why aren't we preparing to defend ourselves? Why are we having a war at all?
Tekker: Maylin Renis.
Renis: Have the prisoners brought forward.
Tyheer: Renis, please, I'm not guilty. I led you to the conspirators.
Gazak: You traitor!
Tyheer: I'm not a traitor, I'm one of you.
Renis: Be quiet. For organising rebellious acts against our honoured ruler, the Borad, the people of Karfel condemn Gazak and Tyheer to the Timelash.
Gazak: No!
Tyheer: But I helped you! You can't execute me. Maylin, listen to me, please.
Renis: Silence him. The Timelash will banish you. The Borad has spared your miserable life.
Mykros: (quietly) I think I prefer death.
Vena: (quietly) What do you mean?
Mykros: (quietly) Who knows where that time corridor ends?
Gazak: Let me say my last words, Maylin. Please.
Malyin: Let him speak.
Gazak: I'm no rebel. I love this planet. My crime is merely a concern for our world, our people, our loss of freedom, and the growing danger of an interplanetary war.
Tekker: Nonsense. The boy is a self-confessed rebel. Banish him.
Gazak: No, Maylin, you can't do this. Please!
Renis: Quiet, quiet. Sentence will be carried out.
Tyheer: Tekker, you must believe me.
Tyheer: Spare me the Timelash and I'll help you fight the rebels, Maylin. Please!
Renis: Too late, Tyheer.
Tyheer: No, you're making a big mistake. No, I won't go!
Borad (on screen): Let this be a further lesson. I will not tolerate any attempt to interfere with my plans. Furthermore, may I remind you that I'm working for the benefit of all Karfelons. That is all.
Mykros: (quietly) If you believe that, you'll believe anything.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: Doctor?
The Doctor: Hmm?
Peri: That curve on the screen you told me to keep an eye on?
The Doctor: Hmm?
Peri: It's now a straight. Is that bad?
The Doctor: Bad? No, it's disastrous.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Renis: That is all.
Android: Maylin.
Renis: I haven't forgotten.
Vena: Father, is that what you now call a fair trial?
Renis: That is not your concern.
Vena: To the contrary, I think that it is very much...
Renis: Enough. I hope you're taking great care of my only daughter.
Mykros: Of course. As my future wife, I could hardly do anything else.
Renis: Then cure her of her stubbornness. She has a foolish commitment to a way of life that is passed.
Mykros: I hope that she will soon believe as I do.
Renis: I'm pleased to hear it. Young noblewomen seem to have so much free will nowadays.
Vena: Father...
Mykros: Speaking of noblewomen, Vena tells me that Tola is recovering.
Renis: My wife is as well as can be expected after such major surgery.
Mykros: Is there anything that I can do?
Renis: No, Mykros, but I appreciate your concern. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some urgent business to attend to.
Mykros: Of course.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: How's that line?
Peri: It's starting to break up.
The Doctor: Is it still on the screen?
Peri: Just about.
The Doctor: If any part of it leaves the screen, let me know immediately.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Power vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Malyin: What are you doing in here? You know it's forbidden.
Mykros: Yes, I'm sorry, Maylin, but I'm afraid my curiosity got the better of me.
Renis: You do of course realise the penalty if you are caught in here.
Mykros: Oh, I'm past caring. I want some answers.
Renis: No one is monitoring us in here. The delta configuration rays would harm delicate instrumentation when I switch power through to the Borad's personal vault.
Mykros: It's a strange feeling, not being monitored. Wait a minute. Wait a minutes. What would happen if you refuse to make that power switch?
Renis: Are you mad?
Mykros: You'd cripple him, surely.
Renis: You're talking of mass suicide. If we tampered with his power supply, he'd wipe us out within seconds.
Mykros: Let him try. Look, I know we'd sustain losses, but we'd win through in the end. We must!
Renis: Do you think I haven't thought of all this already?
Mykros: Then why haven't you acted? Look, I'd help you. Many would. You wouldn't be alone.
Renis: It wouldn't work. Not yet.
Mykros: You're afraid, aren't you. Afraid of some power-crazed old man. That's all he is.
Renis: You don't know what you're talking about. I am in command.
Mykros: You're only a figurehead. If you had any real authority, you wouldn't allow loyal citizens to be cast into the Timelash.
Renis: They were rebels.
Mykros: They were no more rebels than you or I. Why can't you see what's happening? Karfel is being driven to total destruction and you will not lift a finger to stop it.
Renis: All I know is that I must continue my role as Maylin. My function is to switch power to the Borad. Either you stay and promise not to interfere, or leave now and let me get on with my duty.
Mykros: Just what does your duty entail?
Renis: There are two amulets.
Mykros: That's a mirror!
Renis: Yes.
Mykros: I thought the Borad had banned all mirrors.
Renis: Only this one remains. The two amulets must be places simultaneously to open the power panels.
Mykros: What happens next?
Malyin: We make the necessary power switches according to these instructions.
Mykros: What's wrong?
Renis: He wants me to divert all subsidiary energy supplies to his vault.
Mykros: Everything?
Renis: All except power for the Timelash.
Mykros: He's mad!
Renis: I've no other choice but to obey.
Mykros: What about those in the hospital? Good heavens, man, your own wife is there on a life support system. You can't! It's murder!
Renis: Rebelling is useless. We both know that. Perhaps my wife will be strong enough to survive on her own.
Mykros: I'm going to destroy this madman.
Renis: All right, I won't stop you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Renis (O.C.): But don't involve me or my daughter.
Mykros (O.C.): I suggest you think about your own wife.
Renis (O.C.): If you think of yourself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Power vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Renis: Dead, you're of no use to anyone. Alive, you might just succeed.
Renis: Good luck.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside the power vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Renis: Android. It's all right, he was just assisting me.
Android: Mykros. Return immediately to the Inner Sanctum for an emergency meeting.
Renis: But shouldn't I have been informed?
Android: Maylin. You are requested to attend the Borad.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Belt up.
Peri: Where did you get these?
The Doctor: Does it matter?
Peri: Well, we've never had to use belts before.
The Doctor: We've never had to negotiate a Kontron tunnel before.
Peri: Doctor!
The Doctor: Peri, it's started.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad: Maylin Renis, how nice of you to accept my invitation.
Renis: The pleasure and honour is mine, Borad.
Borad: I was pleased to see that you dealt firmly with the rebels.
Renis: Thank you.
Borad: Personally, I would have preferred to see them dangling at the end of a rope.
Renis: Did I do wrong?
Borad: Well, perhaps you should have consulted me first.
Renis: I'm sorry I misunderstood your wishes. I simply went ahead on my own authority.
Borad: You have no authority. You act entirely under my explicit instructions.
Renis: But I am the Maylin!
Borad: From this moment, you are nothing.
Renis: I don't understand.
Borad: You think me a fool?
Renis: But, Borad.
Renis (O.C.): All right, I won't stop you, but don't involve me or my daughter.
Borad: Have you heard enough? You must be wondering how I learnt of your treason. A microphone fitted into the black scented amulet. When inserted into the power panel, it's shielded from delta configuration rays.
Borad: You look pale, Maylin.
Renis: You are...
Borad: Repulsive? Perhaps, but I have a hundred times your intellect, the strength of twenty Guardoliers, and a life spanning a dozen centuries.
Renis: What, what's happening? Where's the Borad?
Borad: Imbecile. I am the Borad and I do not tolerate disloyalty.
Borad: Time for another election. Inform Tekker that I have elected him to be the next Maylin.
Android: Yes, Borad.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Hang on, Peri, we're seconds from impact.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Brunner: Fellow council members, may I introduce you to our new Maylin, Maylin Tekker.
Vena: Where's my father?
Tekker: Oh, please be seated, my dear Vena. Accept the condolences of the entire council of the Inner Sanctum. It appears your father has suffered a fatal seizure.
Vena: No! Why wasn't I told before about this?
Tekker: My dear Vena, the news grows worse.
Mykros: Tekker!
Vena: This is madness! What's happening?
Tekker: It's called treason. And he is the traitor.
Vena: No!
Tekker: Prepare the Timelash.
Vena: No. No.
Mykros: (quietly) Vena, be brave. It's up to you now. The Borad must be stopped. His strength is in the amulet. The amulet.
Tekker: My dear Vena, do not distress yourself unduly.
Vena: What has he done?
Tekker: Conspired with your father to bring about the downfall of the Borad. Get rid of the rebel.
Tekker: Stop her!
Vena: It must go! Let him go!
Tekker: Get the amulet!
Mykros: Vena! Vena!
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: It worked. We're still in one piece.
Peri: I feel as though I've been put through a blender.
Peri: What was that? Or did I imagine her?
The Doctor: No. No, she was real enough.
Peri: Anyone important?
The Doctor: Didn't get a chance to ask.
Peri: Great. Do you expect any more uninvited guests?
The Doctor: No. Both the TARDIS and the time corridor have now fully stabilised.
Peri: Was she travelling down the time corridor?
The Doctor: Yes. I only hope she wasn't banking on reaching twelfth century Earth. The TARDIS is bound to have deflected her path.
Peri: Well then, we must help her.
The Doctor: We can hardly help ourselves.
The Doctor: Velocity override!
Peri: I thought you said the worst was over.
The Doctor: Did I? She's attempting to materialise.
Peri: Great.
The Doctor: We must be near the source of the time tunnel.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: The Borad is very angry and can you blame him? It's only out of his innate kindness that he hasn't demanded immediate retribution.
Kendron: How do you mean?
Tekker: If we don't get the amulet back, he will destroy every Karfelon in the Citadel.
Brunner: All five hundred of us?
Tekker: The androids have already sealed the complex.
Brunner: But what will killing us achieve?
Tekker: Revenge.
Kendron: What if we blast our way through to the power cells?
Tekker: And risk triggering an energy chain explosion?
Guard: Maylin, I'm tracking a moving object in the Timelash vortex.
Tekker: Could it be Vena?
Guard: It's some sort of craft, coming up the corridor in reverse.
Brunner: But what object can penetrate the Timelash?
Tekker: The sort we need to retrieve the amulet.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad: It appears the Doctor is attempting a return visit to our planet. I look forward to our reunion.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: This could be the answer to our prayers.
Kendron: My father always talked of the Doctor's return. That is, before the story of the Doctor's visit was ordered erased from our history books.
Tekker: All that matters now is that the Doctor has arrived.
Kendron: And he can retrieve the amulet.
Brunner: But will he agree?
Tekker: I'm sure we'll be able to persuade him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: A reception committee. Well, they look friendly enough.
The Doctor: So they should be. I've been here before.
Peri: And where's here?
The Doctor: Karfel. I was here a regeneration or three back.
Peri: Well, if you've been here before, no problem.
The Doctor: Except that time corridor. Karfel should be centuries from such technology.
Peri: Doctor...
The Doctor: No. Now don't go wandering off until I'm certain this place is clear.
Peri: Yes, sir.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: I will do the talking.
Tekker: Welcome, Time Lord.
The Doctor: Hello, I'm the Doctor.
Tekker: And I am Tekker. Maylin Tekker. We are honoured that you have decided to visit us again after all this time.
The Doctor: Indeed you are. This is Peri, my assistant.
Peri: Hi.
Tekker: Only the two of you?
The Doctor: Yes, travelling light this time. Besides, so difficult to recruit good staff these days, don't you agree? Maylin, about this time corridor in space.
Tekker: All in good time, Doctor. All in good time. Please enjoy our hospitality first. Have you been travelling long?
Peri: Well, it's hard to say, really. Time just flies when you're in the TARDIS.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hospitality room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: Please come in, Doctor.
Tekker: Oh, our security system. There have been a lot of changes since you were last here.
The Doctor: So I see.
Peri: Oh, what unusual plants.
The Doctor: Peri is a bit of a botanist.
Tekker: Indeed.
Peri: Oh, most unusual.
The Doctor: Maylin, I'd like to talk to you about...
Peri: Ow! Hey, that's mine! What's all that about?
Tekker: I'm terribly sorry about that. I do hope it didn't frighten you too much.
Peri: I'm more concerned about losing my Saint Christopher.
Tekker: Yes. I think the android was trying to warn you away from this plant. Although it is a very beautiful specimen, it has the nasty habit of ejecting an acidic fluid into the face of the admirer.
Peri: Well, I'm surprised you have them on display.
The Doctor: I think perhaps a little re-potting and reprogramming is in order. Don't you, Maylin?
Tekker: Yes. You could be right.
Tekker: Ah. Excuse me for a moment, will you?
The Doctor: Charming fellow.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kendron: The Bandril ambassador, Maylin. He has issued an ultimatum.
Tekker: Has he indeed? Greetings, Ambassador.
Bandril (on screen): I am commanded by the President's Circle to give you a final opportunity to re-establish the grain supply to Bandril. Food which is rightfully ours.
Tekker: By what right?
Bandril (on screen): The Treaty of Cooperation.
Tekker: That was revoked by the Borad.
Bandril (on screen): You can't just revoke an intergalactic treaty.
Tekker: The Borad can, and he has done.
Bandril (on screen): Tekker...
Tekker: Maylin Tekker.
Bandril (on screen): We don't want war. We are peaceful people. Our planet is on the verge of famine. Do not give us reason to come and take the grain.
Tekker: Oh, I assure you, Ambassador, you will find that extremely difficult.
Bandril (on screen): It appears that diplomacy has failed.
Tekker: Yes, indeed. Rather like you and your starving planet, Ambassador. (laughs)
Bandril (on screen): Then it seems that we are at war.
Tekker: Good.
Kendron: Maylin, you have deliberately provoked an attack!
Tekker: Of course I have. Do you think the Borad could ever be defeated? Mark my words, soon our planet will rule this corner of the universe with the power of a giant ocean.
Kendron: With you on the crest of the wave.
Tekker: You see nothing and you understand less. The Borad wants to defeat them. Their bombs won't even penetrate our solar system, let alone enter our atmosphere. I must find Brunner.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hospitality room
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: The place has certainly changed. There's something missing. What is it?
Peri: It's so dull.
The Doctor: Bored already?
Peri: No. It lacks sparkle. There's no reflection. It's all so matt and lifeless. Even the goblets don't shine.
The Doctor: Hello.
Peri: Hey.
The Doctor: Hey, wait a minute.
Peri: (reads) Sezon at the Falchian Rocks.
The Doctor: I beg your pardon?
Peri: Sezon at the Falchian Rocks. A message.
Tekker: I have arranged a short tour of the Citadel.
The Doctor: Splendid.
Tekker: For your assistant.
Peri: Oh, sounds great, but I'd rather not, if it's all the same to you.
Tekker: Oh, but it's all arranged. Counsellor Brunner is waiting outside to escort you, and I have so much to talk to you about, Doctor. The time corridor was a brilliant stroke of luck.
The Doctor: Oh. The Maylin is absolutely right. You go and have a look around. We'll join you when we've had a little chat.
Peri: Doctor, in the TARDIS you distinctly said...
The Doctor: Oh, never mind what I said in the TARDIS. Off you go. The Maylin and I have important things to discuss, don't we, Maylin.
Tekker: Yes, Doctor.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Citadel
[SCENE_BREAK]
Brunner: When you've killed the girl, dispose of the body.
Guard: But where, Counsellor?
Brunner: Imbecile. The caves, of course. No doubt the Morlox will make a meal of her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hospitality room
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: And you seriously expect me to believe this preposterous story? That a lady of the Inner Sanctum just happened to fall into a time vortex with a vitally important key to your power vault?
Tekker: Yes, Doctor, and there's very little time left.
The Doctor: For what?
Tekker: For you to retrieve it.
The Doctor: Retrieve it? You seriously expect me to go through space and time looking for a lost girl and her trinket? Give me one good reason why I should.
Tekker: Peri.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Citadel
[SCENE_BREAK]
Brunner: This is the west corridor of the central Citadel.
Peri: All these corridors look the same to me. Are these plants indigenous to Karfel?
Brunner: Most of them are from Bandril. That's our neighbouring planet. It's also why they require so much special attention.
Peri: They're beautiful.
Brunner: Dracowlis. Known as the flower of many faces.
Peri: I can see why.
Brunner: Would you excuse me, Peri? I'm summoned away. I'll be back shortly.
Peri: Sure.
Peri: I take it you're not the resident gardener come to do some pruning, huh? Doctor!
Android: The girl has escaped.
Brunner: So I see. Still, there's nothing that way but rebels, dank tunnels, and the Morlox. Pity, really. She was an attractive young woman.
Android: Yes, indeed she was.
Brunner: On the other hand, perhaps I know where to find her. Come on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cavern
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: Beautiful fragrance.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hospitality room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: The Doctor is about to leave. Escort him to the TARDIS and see that he does.
Guard: Yes, Maylin.
Tekker: Good luck, Doctor. For Peri's sake, don't come back empty handed.
The Doctor: The reason I am doing this, Maylin, is not only to ensure Peri's safety, but the safety and well-being of all on this planet. Something furthest from your mind, I fancy.
Guard: Move.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cottage
[SCENE_BREAK]
Herbert: What did I say?
Vena: Please, help me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cavern
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: Help! Help!
Katz: What is it?
Sezon: Android. Quick, away from here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad: A plucky creature who knows how to take care of herself. If she's still alive, I want her brought to me completely unharmed.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Rebel hideout
[SCENE_BREAK]
Sezon: Who are you?
Peri: I could ask you the same question.
Katz: She doesn't look like a spy.
Peri: Spy? I've only been on this planet a few minutes.
Sezon: I say we kill her. She must be working for those in the Citadel. She came here to trap us. You saw the android.
Katz: I also saw that it was on fire.
Sezon: So their plan went wrong. Kill her!
Peri: No! Look, I'm innocent. I haven't done anything to hurt you.
Sezon: Katz, we're wasting time.
Katz: Wait! You're going to have to tell us everything you know, or he'll insist on killing you. Look, I don't want any violence. I would be willing to let you live if you just told us who sent you.
Sezon: You've got fifteen seconds.
Katz: Look, if you're not from the Citadel, where are you from?
Peri: You'd never believe me.
Katz: Well, try me.
Peri: Earth. I came with the Doctor in the TARDIS.
Sezon: The Doctor?
Peri: That's right.
Sezon: She must think we're fools. Five seconds.
Katz: This was given to my grandfather by the Doctor. Do you know who she is?
Peri: I've seen photographs of her, but I've never met her.
Sezon: What's her name?
Peri: Jo Grant. She used to travel with the Doctor.
Katz: You're right. You still want to kill her?
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: 1179 AD. Add a time deflection coefficient of seven hundred and six years, that is 1885 AD.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cottage
[SCENE_BREAK]
Herbert: The talisman's in a purse under your pillow.
Vena: Where am I? And who are you?
Herbert: My name is Herbert. From your sudden materialisation, I presume you are a spirit from the other side.
Vena: My name is Vena. Thank you for looking after me.
Herbert: No, the pleasure's all mine. Although I do assume you are from up there, rather than down there.
Vena: It would be more accurate to assume that I am from beyond the stars.
Herbert: Incredible.
Vena: This is a strange and beautiful land.
Herbert: Yes, I come up here every summer. The cottage belongs to my uncle. I'm a teacher, or will be next term. I use the place for a bit of peace and quiet. I fancy myself as a bit of a writer, actually, but nothing published yet, of course. When the weather's nice I do the odd bit of fishing on the loch. Perhaps you'd care to join me? But then on the other hand, perhaps spirits from the other side might find fishing a bit mundane.
Herbert: What on Earth's that?
Vena: They must not get the amulet.
Herbert: Who mustn't? You mean there's someone else about to materialise? I didn't summon them.
Vena: You must help me.
Herbert: I'll do all I can.
Herbert: Right, ridding unwanted spirits. Right, here it is. Right, now stay there.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside the cottage
[SCENE_BREAK]
Herbert: It's a blue monolith!
The Doctor: Hello! Have you seen a rather surprised young lady?
Herbert: Avaunt thee...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cottage
[SCENE_BREAK]
Herbert: Foul fanged fiend.
The Doctor: I can assure you I'm not that long in the tooth, and neat blood brings me out in a rash.
Herbert: Back from where you came, spirit of the glass.
The Doctor: Not just yet, if you don't mind.
The Doctor: Ah! Now you must be Vena.
Vena: Yes, my name is Vena.
The Doctor: I'm afraid we left you rather up in the air on our last fleeting encounter.
Vena: It was you in the Timelash?
Herbert: No, Vena, don't talk to him.
Vena: Why not?
The Doctor: Yes, why not? I'm the Doctor. Delighted to meet you.
Vena: The Doctor?
The Doctor: I think you have something...
The Doctor: Which your Maylin would like returned.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Rebel's hideout
[SCENE_BREAK]
Peri: This stuff tastes okay.
Sezon: Enjoy it. It may be our last for some time.
Peri: Why do you hide down here?
Katz: Because of our ruler, the Borad.
Sezon: Through his lackey, Maylin Tekker, he's provoked war with the Bandrils.
Peri: Why?
Katz: I don't know.
Sezon: If the Bandrils use a bendalypse warhead, I shudder to think of the consequences. It's a missile so powerful it can destroy anything with a central nervous system, yet leave all buildings standing.
Peri: Sounds familiar.
Sezon: Ironically, it won't kill the Morlox.
Peri: Well, it sort of makes him king of the desolation, won't it?
Katz: That's the irony.
Sezon: Do you think the Doctor would help us?
Peri: Well, of course, if we could get to him.
Katz: Sezon, you've got to find a way.
Peri: Are you Sezon? Is this place Falchian Rocks?
Katz: Yes.
Peri: Well, I had a message. Sezon at the Falchian Rocks.
Sezon: It must be from one of our people in the Citadel.
Katz: That's right.
Peri: Oh, I didn't understand why he gave it to me. Where did I put it.
Guard: I wouldn't do that.
Peri: I must have dropped it.
Sezon: Obviously.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cottage
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: I'm glad you accept my explanation, Herbert.
Herbert: It's fantastical. A machine that transcends time itself. Can I see it?
The Doctor: Er, some other time, perhaps. Our first priority is to return the amulet.
Vena: No! The amulet stays here. Mykros warned me the Borad's power depends upon it.
The Doctor: So do the lives of everyone on Karfel. It must be returned. Trust me. It's the only way to help your people and defeat this Borad of whom you speak.
Vena: I know you saved our planet once before, Doctor, and so I do trust you. Very well, when do we leave?
The Doctor: I leave immediately. You'll be safer here with Herbert. As soon as Karfel is free again, I promise I'll return for you.
Vena: Doctor, it is my planet, and they are my people. Either you take me back with you now, or the amulet stays here.
The Doctor: You sound as irritatingly resolute as another young lady I know. Very well, but we must hurry. Goodbye, Herbert. Perhaps I'll allow you to exorcise me another time.
Herbert: Oh, Doctor, you can't leave me behind after all this.
The Doctor: We're not going on some joy ride, you know.
Herbert: But Doctor, I don't care about the risk. I just want to travel in your time ship. Please, you must take me.
The Doctor: Absolutely not.
Herbert: Please.
The Doctor: No.
Herbert: Oh, very well, then. Then goodbye, Vena. I wish we could have got better acquainted.
Vena: Goodbye, Herbert, and good luck.
The Doctor: Nice enough young fellow, but we must hurry. Have you got the amulet? Good. Remind me to return this mirror to Herbert sometime. Come along.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Borad's vault
[SCENE_BREAK]
Android: We have captured the Doctor's companion and some of the rebels at Falchian Rocks.
Borad: Excellent. Prepare her as ordered and dispose of the others in the Timelash.
Android: It will be done.
Borad: And when the Doctor returns, make sure you have the Maylin's amulet in your grasp before committing him to the same fate.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TARDIS
[SCENE_BREAK]
Vena: Until recently, our schools taught of your first visit to our planet and your promise to return.
The Doctor: Promise?
Vena: You do remember?
The Doctor: Yes, of course. Never like to forget a promise.
Vena: But the Borad's changed everything. Gradually, he's taking over the entire planet. I was misled like the rest of our leaders. It has already cost my father his life. And Mykros, the man I was to marry, is probably floating in the Timelash now.
The Doctor: Don't worry about the Borad. I'll deal with him, make no mistake. I show little mercy to time meddlers.
Herbert: Incredible. It's just incredible.
The Doctor: What are you doing here?
Herbert: Just look at this place. I can't believe it. Do you know it's actually bigger inside...
The Doctor: I know.
Herbert: Than it is on the outside.
The Doctor: I know! I know!
Herbert: Do we travel above or below water?
The Doctor: Do you realise there is an intergalactic law expressly forbidding stowaways?
Herbert: They'll never believe me. I'm sorry, Doctor. Sorry I tricked you. But I'm not sorry I'm here.
The Doctor: Since there's no time to take you back, it looks as if we're stuck with you.
Herbert: I can't believe this is actually happening.
The Doctor: If you so much as breathe when you shouldn't, or get in my way, I'll lock you up until all this is over, is that understood?
Herbert: Yes, Doctor, whatever you say.
Vena: It is nice to see you again, Herbert.
Vena: Is it always like this, Doctor?
The Doctor: We're transcending the time vortex. Brace yourselves.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside the Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tekker: Ah, welcome back, Doctor. Oh, and I'm so pleased to see you again, Vena. Have you got the amulet?
The Doctor: Where's the Borad? I demand to see him.
Tekker: Impossible.
The Doctor: No Borad, no amulet.
Tekker: Come along, Doctor. Hand over the amulet or I shall be obliged to retrieve it by force.
The Doctor: Do you realise with whom you're dealing?
Tekker: Your bravado is all very well, but it won't do much to help you assistant, Peri. I would hate to have to have her put to death.
Vena: Now stop this madness, Tekker. You cannot hope to defeat a Time Lord.
Mykros: Vena!
Tekker: Brunner. Prepare the Timelash.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Inner Sanctum
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Where's Peri? You promised her safe return.
Tekker: Ah, yes. Well, you shouldn't believe everything that people tell you, Doctor.
The Doctor: You gave me your word, you microcephalic apostate. I demand to see the Borad immediately.
Tekker: Admit defeat, Doctor.
The Doctor: Never!
Tekker: The stories I've heard about you. The great Doctor, all knowing and all powerful. You're about as powerful as a burnt out android. Our ruler has finished with you once and for all.
Kendron: We can't do this, Tekker.
Tekker: Shut up, or you'll be joining him.
The Doctor: You're as warped as your dictator friend.
Tekker: Save your breath for the Timelash, Doctor. Most people depart with a scream.
Brunner: The vortex is ready, Maylin.
Tekker: Despatch the Doctor first.
Tekker: Goodbye, Doctor. Unpleasant journey. Bwahahahahahaha!
|
Plan: A: a Time Corridor; Q: What are the Doctor and Mel drawn into? A: Karfel; Q: What is the name of the planet the Doctor and Mel end up on? A: war; Q: What does the leader of Karfel enjoy? A: Herbert; Q: What is the name of the strange man the Doctor meets on Karfel? Summary: The Doctor and Mel are drawn into a Time Corridor and end up on the planet Karfel where the 3rd Doctor once visited. While there he meets a leader who seems to enjoy war and a strange man named Herbert.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
This town was my home. I want it back. All of your scheming, the enemies that you have made every single day of your miserable life, what results did you expect, that your child would be born into a happy life? This was our family's hope. We need to regain control of the city. You want allies, right? This is ground zero for a new vampire community. You may think that you're better than us. We're all you got.
Hayley: We made a deal. He'll pledge his loyalty to Cassie, report back, and tell me everything that he learns.
Marcel: Her name is Gia. She's the first one that I turned. She's gonna need a mentor. We should've known our mother would not be bound by anything as obvious as death. Where is she? Finn, Kol, we have a family reunion to plan.
[ COVEN HOUSE ]
( Esther (still in Cassie's body) lights candles while she prepares a breakfast. A starling chirps in a cage nearby while Cassie begins cracking eggs into a bowl, mixing berries and herbs, and writing an invitation in fine calligraphy. She smiles as she looks at her work, and puts the invitation onto a silver platter with a lid )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
[In the courtyard, Hayley is munching on an array of fruit and other breakfast food when Klaus comes down the stairs to join her]
Hayley: So, which restaurant's missing a compelled chef?
Klaus: [approaches her] It's certainly a card I've played in the past, but I had no hand in this... [gestures to the food on the table]
Hayley: Hmm. Well, then, I guess we have Elijah to thank.
( Elijah joins them in the courtyard )
Elijah: [confused] This wasn't my doing...
Hayley: [frowns] Then, where did this all come from?
( The silver lid on the platter starts to rattle, startling Hayley and Elijah. Klaus looks uneasy when he lifts the platter, which releases two starlings that fly up toward the ceiling, causing the three to reflexively duck. They all look puzzled and nervous )
Hayley: What the hell was that?
( Klaus reaches for the invitation and opens it. It reads, "Dinner, Your Home, 8PM" )
Klaus: An invitation from our mother.
( Klaus and Elijah stare at each other in concern )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ CREDITS ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ FLASHBACK - 10th CENTURY, NEW WORLD ]
( Esther (in her original body) ladles out food for her children, who are all very young and who have all gathered around the table for breakfast )
Esther: Now, children, it's very hot! Rebekah, Kol, be careful!
[Finn joins them at the table as they all sit down]
Esther: Where's Niklaus?
( The children all stay silent. Elijah gives Finn a knowing look )
Esther: Elijah? Finn? Where's your brother?
Finn: [hesitates] He's in the woods, Mother. [Elijah glares at him] Hiding.
( Esther walks out into the woods, where she finds Klaus hiding behind a tree )
Esther: [sighs] What are you doing here?
Klaus: Father says he's to take me hunting later. But I'm no good. Not with him. He gets angry at me.
( Esther looks at him with sympathy and kneels so she can look him in the eye )
Esther: I understand. Do you know what I do when I'm afraid? I listen to the starlings.
[In the background, Finn can be seen eavesdropping on them]
Esther: When I was a little girl, my mother taught one of them a tune. And, since they mimic each others' songs, it spread, until every starling in the forest sang it. [Klaus looks up at the birds in the trees] When we made this our home, I brought these same birds to these woods. Whenever you heard one sing, Niklaus, remember I'm with you. Always and forever.
( Esther takes Klaus' hand and pulls him to his feet. Finn watches from afar and gulps sadly )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Klaus stares at the invitation while he stands on the balcony overlooking the French Quarter. He eventually turns to head back into his bedroom, where Hayley is laying flat on Klaus' bed )
Hayley: It is times like this I'm really glad I never knew my mother.
Klaus: We have enough enemies here. And now, the war for our home is to be fought against my own family.
Hayley: Your wretched mother and her disciples tried to put a carving knife through our baby's heart. I will happily add to the body count.
( Klaus smiles at Hayley, as Elijah enters the room )
Elijah: You will do no such thing. Esther's a master in the art of possession. We know whose body she currently inhabits. We must decipher her intentions before she finds a new host.
Klaus: Well, her last invitation was an assassination attempt on all her children. I think we can assume her intentions are decidedly foul.
Elijah: [shrugs] Well, then. We have... [checks watch] this afternoon to prepare for the worst.
( Elijah leaves. Hayley rolls her eyes, which makes Klaus smile )
Klaus: The bloom is off the rose, I see. [he follows Elijah out]
Hayley: [mutters] Shut up.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
( Marcel and Gia are sorting through books at his loft when Elijah arrives to talk )
Marcel: I wondered when you'd show up. Your pupil's waiting. it's not like you to shirk your responsibilities.
Elijah: [sighs] As you well know, she is not my... burden to bear. You turned her, you teach her.
[Gia turns toward him, looking hurt. Marcel isn't impressed]
Marcel: Why'd you come?
Elijah: I'm looking for a cooperative witch.
Marcel: I don't know where Davina is, and given the fact that she's got your father on a leash, I wouldn't put her in the, uh, "cooperative" category -
Elijah: [interrupts him] - Not Davina. Perhaps another witch? On another leash?
Marcel: What makes you think I got another witch?
Elijah: Perhaps the daylight ring on your new librarian?
[He points to Gia, who tries to pretend like she's not offended]
Marcel: [smiles] Good point! My memory's a little shaky. Lucky for you, though, I know someone who can help! Gia?
( Marcel gestures to Gia, who sighs and reluctantly walks over to him. Marcel puts his arm around her and turns back to Elijah )
Marcel: [to Gia] Why don't you take Elijah to meet our friend Lenore?
Elijah: [sighs] If this is your idea of a joke, I can assure you I am not amused.
Marcel: Well, there's nothing funny about what's going on. Mikael's back, witches causing chaos. It just seems like you could use all the friends that you can get.
( Elijah rolls his eyes and heads straight for the door )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ROUSSEAU'S ]
( Oliver is sitting at the bar, drinking a pint of beer, when Vincent/Finn arrives and sits next to him )
Vincent/Finn: You're Oliver, correct?
Oliver: [annoyed] Do I know you?
Vincent/Finn: No. But, I am, in fact, the person you're meeting with this afternoon.
Oliver: [rolls his eyes] Look, uh, I'm here to meet Cassie. I don't know who you are, friend, but you certainly are no teenage girl that has magic powers. [sips his beer]
Vincent/Finn: [laughs] What a keen observation, friend. [his tone goes from friendly to cold] My name is Vincent, and, if you speak to me, you are, in fact, speaking to Cassie. [pulls out a new moonlight ring] I offer this as proof.
( Oliver stares at the ring and becomes nervous, but he does take the ring and puts his on )
Oliver: So, if I decide I don't want to answer to number two in the chain of command?
( Vincent/Finn looks at him boredly and blows on his thumb and index finger before he starts rubbing them together, causing Oliver's muscles to seize up in pain )
Vincent/Finn: I'll make an example of you to show your pack what happens when Cassie's requests are denied. [Oliver continues to groan in pain] Or, we can start again.
( Vincent/Finn nods and rubs his fingers the other direction, which undoes the spell. Oliver gasps in relief. Vincent/Finn stands and leans over Oliver's head )
Vincent/Finn: That ring comes at a price, and you'll begin paying for it today.
( Vincent/Finn leaves the restaurant. When he's gone, Oliver pulls out his phone and dials a number )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Klaus is in the dining room, where he is making arrangements for the evening's dinner with a group of (presumably compelled) caterers. One of the caterers gives him a choice of two different bottles of wine )
Klaus: Skip the salad course. Let's not make this dreadful evening any longer than it needs to be.
[He choices a wine and dismisses the caterer, just as Hayley enters the dining room]
Hayley: So, I guess letting Oliver live paid off. He just informed me your mother has a partner -in -crime - another witch.
Klaus: Building alliances in her quest to destroy us, I imagine.
Hayley: Why does she hate you so much, Klaus? She had six kids, it's not like she doesn't have the maternal gene.
Klaus: Seven, actually. And, I think at one time, she loved us very much. [he folds napkins on the table] One died before I was born.
Hayley: I didn't know that.
Klaus: Years later, my brother Henrik was killed by the werewolves in our village. The loss of another child pushed my mother over the edge. So, she used her magic to turn us into immortals. I think that's when she loved us the most. But, it was her undoing. It triggered a sequence of events that led to the reveal of her long -held secret. My birth father was the werewolf whose pack killed my little brother. Of course, when Mikael found out, he murdered my real father, and so, my mother lost her lover, too.
Hayley: [stunned] Wow. No wonder she's crazy. I'm out of my mind having just given away Hope... I can't imagine if she'd actually died.
Klaus: [teary -eyed] You know, my siblings used to tell each other she didn't hate us. She hated herself for what we've become. I think they believed that even after she tried to kill us all.
Hayley: [quietly] What did you believe?
Klaus: I don't know. I just knew I wanted her dead.
( The two stare at each other for a long moment )
Hayley: Well, every good story needs a wicked witch. [winks with a small smile] It'll be all the more satisfying when we melt her.
( Klaus smiles at her, and she smiles back )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ACROSS THE RIVER ]
[Gia and Elijah are on their way to see Lenore, while Gia unsuccessfully tries to make conversation]
Gia: So, you're not much of a talker, huh? [Elijah just looks at her] No problem. Last guy I hung out with, he wouldn't shut up, so... guess I'm due for a change -
Elijah: [cuts her off] The task is to lead me to someone. Let's just... do that, shall we?
( Elijah walks in front of Gia, and Gia, unimpressed, rushes to catch up )
Gia: You wanna walk in silence? Cool. But, [sighs] you're going the wrong way.
Elijah: [stops in annoyance] Marcel believes I can instruct you. First lesson - do your best not to waste my time.
[Gia glares at him and turns in the opposite direction as she leads Elijah toward Lenore's shop]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LENORE'S CONVENIENCE STORE ]
( Lenore is at the front check out desk, where she is grinding herbs in a mortar and pestle. Soon, Elijah and Gia arrive to speak with her )
Lenore: Go away, I'm busy.
Elijah: Yes, blatantly practicing magic, I see.
Lenore: Herbal remedies for a neighbor who lost her insurance. But, my guess is an Original ain't here to talk neighborhood gossip.
Elijah: I have a favor to ask you.
Lenore: Quarter's crawling with witches, go ask one of them.
Elijah: [sighs and looks around] I don't typically ask favors of my enemies.
Lenore: So, you come across the river to bother me?
Elijah: It's unfortunate, isn't it? Bureacracy has not been kind to your community. Those tax incentives on local businesses have been stalling for months. Of course, a persuasive person could potentially remove any red tape.
Lenore: [interested] I'm listening.
Elijah: A certain someone - let's say a witch - has a troublesome tendency of jumping into other bodies. [smiles] When she does so again, I would like to know into whom she jumps. [he drops a coin into her coin jar]
Lenore: Soul -branding. It's a sacrificial spell. I'm gonna need an item that's been spelled by the witch in question, and a python.
Elijah: [smiles] I shall retrieve the enchanted item. My partner will take care of the python. [turns to leave the store]
Gia: Ew, what?
Elijah: Second lesson of the day - acquisition through mind compulsion.
( Elijah leaves. Gia is flustered )
Gia: [calls after him] How the hell do I do mind compulsion?
[Gia leaves in a huff. Once she's gone, Vincent/Finn enters the store]
Lenore: [doesn't look up] Can I help you?
( Vincent/Finn approaches the front counter, and Lenore finally looks up to see who it is )
Vincent/Finn: [smiles] I'm most certain that you can.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
( Marcel is pouring a drink for himself when Klaus arrives )
Marcel: Let me guess, you need a favor?
Klaus: I'm paying this one, I promise. There was a necklace I gave you a long time ago. It was a leather strap with a metal bird on the end.
Marcel: [turns to a shelf and grabs a small wooden box] Yeah, you gave it to me when I turned eleven.
Klaus: You remember?
Marcel: [walks toward Klaus] Mikael's back, Elijah's babbling on about family drama, and you're here looking for antique jewelry.
( Marcel holds out the open box to Klaus, who takes the necklace inside it. The sight of it transports him to another flashback to his childhood )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ FLASHBACK - 10th CENTURY ]
( Esther is making the necklace when she calls Klaus in to see her )
Esther: Come here, Klaus.
( Esther dips the metal bird on the necklace into a pot before laying it on a small pile of sand surrounded by black stones on her table )
Esther: Birds are sacred to the Vikings. It's how we find land. It's how your father and I found our home here. [she puts the necklace around Klaus' neck] Here. If ever you are lost, or scared, or in need of me, just clasp the bird, and I will come.
Klaus: D -do the others get one?
Esther: [hesitates] I love all my children. [she takes Klaus' hand] But you, Niklaus? You're the most special, which is why I give this to you, and you alone. Promise me you will wear it always.
Klaus: I promise.
( Later, the village holds a bonfire, and Esther and Klaus join a group of villagers in dancing around the fire while others play music on their instruments )
Esther: Your father may teach you to hunt, but I will teach you to win the heart of the prettiest girl in the village!
( The two spin around happily and laugh, while Finn stares sadly from afar, holding a flute in his hand. Suddenly, Esther notices that Klaus isn't wearing his necklace )
Esther: [frowns] Where's your starling necklace?
Klaus: [feels his neck and realizes it's gone] It must have fallen off!
( Klaus starts to desperately look around, as Finn slowly makes his way over to them )
Esther: You need to find it now! Immediately!
Finn: It's all right, Mother. I found it.
[Finn pulls the necklace out of his pocket and hands it to her. Esther takes it from him and puts it around Klaus' neck]
Esther: [to Klaus] You owe a great thank you to your brother, don't you? [Klaus remains silent] Don't you?
Klaus: [reluctant] Thank you, Finn.
[Finn smiles kindly at Klaus, and Esther caresses his cheek with her hand]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ PRESENT DAY - MARCEL'S LOFT ]
( Klaus and Marcel are still in the middle of talking when Klaus comes out of his flashback )
Marcel: Do I even want to know why you're asking for a necklace that your mother gave you?
Klaus: [smiles weakly] Believe me, Marcel - you want no part in the latest chapter of our sprawling family saga. [They both look at the necklace] Thank you for holding onto this.
( Klaus leaves )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
( Vincent/Finn and Cassie/Esther are both walking through the cemetery as Finn updates her on their plan )
Finn: I've heard from Kol. He's still looking for the young witch. I imagine he'll find her soon enough.
Esther: Shame he'll miss dinner. Although, it is best that his new identity remains unknown. This new witch you've brought me, Lenore. She seems rather stubborn.
Finn: Mother, I'd be happy to open her up to new possibilities.
Esther: Have Oliver handle her. Your means of persuasion will be needed for dinner. Have we received any response to our invitation?
Finn: I imagine your message had quite the effect - both he and Elijah have been on the move all day.
Esther: Of course. Ever boys. Be sure you're ready for them this evening.
Finn: I've handled everything exactly as you've instructed.
Esther: I'd expect nothing less from you, Finn.
( Esther reaches up and caresses his cheek, just as she did in the flashback. Finn nods at her and moves into one of the crypts, where Lenore is chained up. Oliver is waiting for him inside as well )
Oliver: [appalled] You torture your own?
Vincent/Finn: No! I persuade.
( Vincent/Finn opens a small satchel that holds various tools used for torture. Lenore looks exhausted and scared, and already has several wounds on her face and head )
Vincent/Finn: [to Oliver] I'd like you to do the same. [he walks over to Lenore] She had some visitors earlier today. [he brushes her hair from her face, and she groans and backs away] I'd like to know what they wanted.
( Oliver looks horrified as Vincent heads toward the door. He grabs a large hourglass and turns it over )
Vincent/Finn: Don't dally.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
[Hayley is updating Klaus and Elijah]
Hayley: Marcel's witch is being held captive in the Quarter.
Klaus: Oh, perfect. Mother's a step ahead, as usual.
Hayley: Oliver's with her. I'll go, and I'll get her to do the spell. But, I need the necklace.
Elijah: I don't like this whatso -
Hayley: [cuts him off] No. You don't get to ignore me for days and then suddenly act like you're concerned, Elijah. Just, for once, please, will you trust me that I'll do something and it will get done?
( Elijah looks as though he's about to speak, but shuts his mouth at the last moment. Klaus sighs and pulls the necklace out of his pocket and hands it to her. She takes it )
Hayley: Thank you.
[Hayley gets ready to leave, but Elijah stops her]
Elijah: Wait.
Hayley: [interrupts] I don't car -
Elijah: [cuts her off] No, there's something else. A disciple of Marcel's was instructed to fetch another ingredient. Ask for Gia.
Hayley: [hesitates] Okay.
( She leaves. Once she's gone, Klaus walks toward Elijah )
Klaus: What's going on with you two?
Elijah: Nothing. She's stronger, that's all that matters.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
[Gia has just returned to Marcel's apartment]
Gia: A snake? That was my big lesson of the day. Snake -fetching.
Marcel: [laughs] Hold on - you compelled yourself a snake?
Gia: No! I stole the damn thing! Captain Condescension didn't feel the need to cover the mind -control chapter in today's lesson.
Marcel: Did you even try?
Gia: I don't even know where to start trying, Marcel. [she walks toward him] Why Elijah? [Marcel just looks at her] I'm not stupid. You want something from him, I just can't guess the reason why you'd think I'm the way to get it.
Marcel: [licks his lips] Actually, I want something for him, and it's the same thing I want for you.
Gia: Which is what?
Marcel: This. Us! Our new community! Look, I learned my lesson the hard way. You can't make your way in this town unless you got an Original looking out for you. Klaus is so fixated on those wolves, and Elijah's so wrapped up in centuries of his family's old crap that he can't see it. But, we need him. We need him to see us as family, too.
Gia: [in tears] I couldn't even get my own family to care about me. How am I supposed to win him over?
Marcel: [walks toward her] I've known that man two hundred years. He's cranky. [laughs] He's fussy. And, he can ride your last nerve. But, he has an Achilles heel, okay? He can't help but fix what's broken. You don't need to be anything other than what you already are. Someone who needs his help.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Elijah and Klaus are both wearing fancy suits and preparing for dinner with their mother in the dining room )
Klaus: [annoyed] Are these outfits really necessary?
Elijah: Appearance is a way of showing respect, Niklaus. Mother will be more likely to surrender her true intentions.
Klaus: Well, I doubt her guard will drop just 'cause I'm dressed like a bloody lawyer.
Elijah: [lighting candles] We need every advantage we can get, Niklaus.
Klaus: You always did excel in diplomacy. Just know, if she tries anything, I'll tear her new body to pieces.
( Vincent/Finn enters the room )
Vincent/Finn: [laughs dramatically] You two haven't changed a bit! [to Elijah] Linens and silk to disguise your pathetic self -loathing. [to Klaus] And you - despite the arrogant facade, you're still the same paranoid little boy, full of hate and fear.
( Klaus' face turns from amused to offended. Elijah looks at him in confusion before turning to Vincent/Finn )
Elijah: [approaches him] Forgive me, I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
Vincent/Finn: [feigns offense] Oh, you mean you don't recognize me? So much for the unbreakable bonds of family, huh? Always and forever indeed.
( Klaus begins to scowl when he realizes what is going on. Elijah is still confused )
Klaus: [angry] It's been a long time, Finn.
Finn: [smirks] Now that the introductions are out of the way, let's eat!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
[Hayley has just arrived to the crypt where Oliver is waiting with Lenore, who is still chained up. The python Gia stole has wrapped itself around the hourglass, which is still 3/4 the way full. Hayley breaks the chains binding Lenore]
Oliver: They worked her over pretty good.
Hayley: We need to get her out of here.
Oliver: Huh? Then what? They'll know that I let her go! Look, you asked me to infiltrate Cassie's coven, I'm not gonna blow my cover for some has -been, hippie witch! [Lenore groans and side -eyes him] No offense!
Hayley: [looks around] I guess we could always make it look like you got jumped? Tell Cassie that Lenore got rescued by her people?
Oliver: [sarcastic] Let me guess, you, uh, wanna beat the hell out of me? Make it look convincing?
Hayley: Well, I can't say I wouldn't enjoy it!
( Oliver laughs weakly and sighs )
Oliver: Okay, just... just not the face, okay?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Elijah pours Finn a glass of wine )
Finn: [wafts the wine] What an aromatic bordot.
Klaus: Well, it was a challenge to find a good pairing. What wine goes well with treachery?
Finn: Don't pout, brother. Tonight is meant to be a happy occasion!
[Finn whispers something in one of the servers' ears, which makes Klaus suspicious]
Elijah: What exactly are we celebrating?
Finn: Why, my return, of course! Remember, I spent nine hundred years - right? - lying daggered in a box. I'm rather enjoying this new body. Strolling about your lovely city that, uh, you've made your home. But, do tell me - what'd I miss? Regale me with your contributions to society! Medicine? Philosophy? Art? [Klaus rolls his eyes] Or, have you two merely cut a path of destruction across time?
Klaus: The last time we met, you were helping our mother try to annilate the lot of us! Let's not throw stones in glass houses.
Elijah: Are we expecting another guest?
Finn: Mother will sit at the head. And, as for the seat across from me, that's reserved for another of our clan. Care to wager an educated guess? How about a paranoid one?
Klaus: Well, there's no way Kol would listen to anything other than his ego.
Finn: And yet, our mother has made such a compelling argument that even he, the wildest of us Mikaelsons, has seen the error of his ways and accepted his new form, with vigor! Change, dear brothers, is inevitable.
Klaus: You would dare face us as a mortal? The only thing inevitable is your death.
[He flings a knife at Finn, but he deflects it with magic, and it ultimately embeds itself into the chair at the head of the table]
Finn: Oh! [he removes the knife from the chair and holds it] I suppose the honor of carving should go to the oldest. We have much to discuss.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
( Oliver is laying unconscious on the floor of the crypt, and Lenore is checking him over. The hourglass is now almost half -empty )
Hayley: He'll be okay, I promise.
Lenore: What's your dog in this fight? You're not a Mikaelson.
Hayley: [hesitates] I sort of am... in spirit.
Lenore: [shocked] The werewolf mother?
Hayley: Turned witch -rescuer, apparently. Listen, can we do this spell, or not?
Lenore: After what that bitch and her lackey did to me? I'll do any spell that you want!
( Lenore walks out of the crypt, and Hayley follows her )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Elijah and Klaus are still having dinner with Finn in the dining room )
Finn: I'm rather enjoying my evening.
Klaus: [frustrated] Well, I'd rather enjoy you getting to the point.
Finn: I had nine hundred years to learn to be patient. Although, I am curious why you kept me daggered in a box for so long.
Klaus: You were daggered from being am ever -simpering sycophant. Did Mother bring you back from the dead so you could wash her knickers? [smirks]
Finn: [furious] She raised me because I was treated unfairly! Cheated of all but the smallest portion of my life! Elijah, I can understand such cruelty coming from him, but I always thought of you as being the compassionate one! What did I do to deserve you turning your back on me? Were you afraid of Niklaus? Are you still? Or perhaps jealousy is what kept me locked in a box? You coveted the duties of the eldest brother, in which case you had near -on a millenium to fix the problems of this family, and instead, produced nine centuries of failure.
[Finn realizes his anger has gotten the best of him and pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb]
Elijah: You might reside - somewhat parasitically, I might add - in another body, but I assure you, in nine hundred years, your tedious sentiments remain quite the same. You see, Finn, like Father, you've always despised our supernatural existence. Father, of course, slaughtered and consumed his own, whereas you became pretentious and dull. Much like this meal. I will not ask you again - where is Mother?
[In the background, Klaus is giggling at Elijah's insults. Suddenly, Cassie/Esther arrives]
Esther: [to Elijah] Oh, my darling son. [Finn immediately rises to his feet] I've missed you, too.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LENORE'S CONVENIENCE STORE ]
[Hayley and Lenore have arrived to the shop and prepare to start the spell in her back room]
Hayley: [hands her the bag with the ingredients] So, will this take long?
Lenore: You want me to soul -brand the resurrected spirit of a thousand -year -old witch? It's best I take my time and do it right. [she looks up at Hayley] For what it's worth, I'm sorry. No one should ever have to lose a child.
Hayley: [sad] No, no one should.
( Lenore lights a bundle of sage and wafts the smoke around the room )
Lenore: You have the talisman?
Hayley: Oh. [digs the necklace out of her pocket] So, how does this work? You brand Esther with the spell, and then what?
Lenore: [sets the necklace over the rim of a cauldron] The next time she jumps into a body, she'll be marked with a distinctive symbol on the back of her hand. [pulls the python out of the bag] This way, you'll always know who she is.
Hayley: We still don't know why she's here. When Esther held you captive, did she give you any idea why she's doing all this?
( Lenore puts the python around her neck for a moment )
Lenore: Love!
Hayley: [rolls her eyes] How hard did they hit you?
Lenore: [removes the python from her neck] What besides love can inspire such pain and cruelty? And Esther? [she takes a knife and guts the snake with it, before disemboweling it and squeezing the entrails in the cauldron] Her love is very, very strong.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( The dinner continues on )
Klaus: Why don't you say what you came here to say, so this wretched night can end?
Esther: It pains me that you and Elijah look at me with such disdain. I wish you could see that my every action has been to protect you!
Klaus: You actually believe that, don't you? I knew you were a liar, but now I see you're utterly delusional.
Esther: If you can forget the hatred that you cling to and remember all the times I've mended and healed you. [Klaus laughs sarcastically] Elijah, do you recall the day Niklaus challenged your father to a duel? Did I leave your brother to die alone? What did I say, when you came to me and asked me to help him?
Elijah: [sighs] That you would rather die than to see any of your children suffer.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ FLASHBACK - 10th CENTURY ]
( Klaus is older, now, and his pained cries can be heard in the forest. Esther rushes to him, where she finds him stuck to a tree with Mikael's sword impaling his shoulder )
Esther: Tell me what happened!
Klaus: [gasping in pain] I challenged him.
Esther: [applying pressure to his shoulder] What were you thinking?
Klaus: I thought if I could just best him, just once, he would see that I am worthy.
Esther: [panicked] You need to hold still!
( She struggles, but eventually removes the sword from his shoulder, and pulls some moss from the tree to pack his wounds )
Klaus: AHHHHH!
Esther: Niklaus, calm down! Everything is going to be fine.
Klaus: He laughed at my challenge. He said he would take this from me. [holds up his starling necklace] As a prize after defeating me. [Esther gulps anxiously] We began to fight, and he knocked me down. He cut the bird from my neck, and I grew so angry, I hit him. Again, and again. I cut him!
Esther: [terrified] What happened next?
Klaus: The look on his face, I'd never seen it before. And I was so proud. Mother, I held this up [holds up the necklace] to show him I kept my prize. And then, he - Why would he - ?
Esther: Your father, in his rage, struck you with his sword?
Klaus: I wouldn't let him take this from me. It was your gift to me!
Esther: [whispers] You're a good boy, Niklaus. You did the right thing.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ PRESENT DAY - MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Klaus returns from his flashback and has a realization )
Klaus: [horrified] The necklace.
( Klaus flashes back to when Esther first made the necklace, and she cast a spell on it )
Klaus: It wasn't spelled to protect me. It made me weak.
Esther: I sought to protect you from yourself! If you had killed your father in that duel, or anyone else in the course of your life, you would have activated your curse!
Klaus: [slams his hand angrily against the table] You ruined me! You left me to suffer at the hands of a father who valued only strength!
Esther: I kept you from becoming a beast for as long as I possibly could!
Klaus: [shouts] Oh, you lied to me! To hide your own transgressions because of your own fear! [he slams the table again and stands to his feet] My whole life, I sought the approval I was denied by the man I thought was my father! You turned me into the weakling he hated. [Elijah rises to his feet and paces anxiously, while Esther gulps and looks guilty. Klaus glares at Esther] Look at me! You rant and you rave about the monster I have become, but you, Mother - you are the author of everything I am.
( Esther looks flustered, and suddenly begins gasping for breath. Finn looks mildly alarmed as Cassie/Esther faints and slumps over in her seat. Elijah manages to catch her before her head hits the table, and he looks at his brothers in shock )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY / LENORE'S CONVENIENCE STORE / MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( At the cemetery, the hourglass Finn turned over has nearly run out )
( At Lenore's shop, Hayley watches as Lenore continues to cast the soul -branding spell )
( At the compound, the boys are panicked about Esther's condition )
Elijah: She's gone.
( Elijah goes to attack Finn, but he uses his magic to push Elijah away, which throws him over the table and into the nearby wall. Klaus vamp -speeds toward Finn and grabs him by the lapels )
Klaus: [shouts] Where is she?
[Finn blows on his fingers and rubs them together, using the same muscle -seizing spell he used on Oliver earlier. Klaus falls to the floor in pain while Finn adjusts his jacket and looks around frantically]
( At the cemetery, the hourglass has just run out )
( At Lenore's store, Lenore finishes her spell and falls forward, leaning against the cauldron to keep her from hitting the table. Hayley looks at her in concern as Lenore comes too and looks around the room, confused )
Hayley: ... Are you okay?
Lenore: [still confused] Yes.
Hayley: [stands] You sure - ?
Lenore: [stands up straight] Just getting my bearings...
[Hayley notices a brand on the back of Lenore's right hand in the shape of a triskelion, which startles her so much she jumps backwards and yelps]
Hayley: The mark... [Esther looks down and takes in her new body] It's you, isn't it? Esther.
( Lenore/Esther smirks )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
[In the dining room, Klaus and Elijah have recovered from Finn's attack, but at some point, Finn managed to get away. Klaus and Elijah decide to question Cassie]
Klaus: [furious] Where's our mother?
Cassie: [terrified] Where am I? What's happening?
( Klaus loses his temper and grabs Cassie in a choke -hold. She gasps for air and struggles against his grip )
Elijah: [steps in] Leave her. She's a puppet. Niklaus, look at her! She has absolutely no idea.
( Klaus reluctantly lets go of her. Cassie becomes more confused )
Cassie: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Klaus: Shut up! Stop talking right now.
( Cassie gulps nervously and stops talking. Elijah pats Klaus on the shoulder comfortingly before Klaus begins to pace around )
Klaus: Our mother orchestrated this entire evening just to torture us, and then simply vanishes. [walks back to Cassie and looks at her] Why?
Elijah: [horrified] What if we are not the only minds she was hoping to poison tonight?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LENORE'S CONVENIENCE STORE ]
[Hayley's phone rings in her pocket, and she pulls it out to check it as Lenore/Esther washes the snake's blood from her hands. Hayley looks up at Esther anxiously]
Esther: [nods] Go ahead. You can answer it.
Hayley: [answers phone] Elijah? I'm at Lenore's shop -
( Esther thrusts her arm forward and uses her magic to kill Hayley's phone )
Esther: That'll be enough!
Hayley: [scared and angry] They're gonna come for me.
Esther: My darling, that's been the idea all along.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Klaus and Elijah are determinedly rushing out of the house so they can go rescue Hayley )
Elijah: Why would she want Hayley?
Klaus: To kill her, to punish us, to learn the truth about the child, for one of any number of reasons. All of which will be rendered moot when I send her screaming back to hell.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LENORE'S CONVENIENCE STORE ]
( Lenore/Esther and Hayley are still waiting for Elijah and Klaus to arrive )
Esther: It's so lovely to finally meet you. Tell me, do my sons ever acknowledge the good you bring into their lives? After all, it was you who gave them hope. [Hayley looks at her suspiciously] The promise of a child shows us all the possibilities of a future that could be. Children are meant to save us from the worst parts of who we are. A truth that makes my own circumstances all the more tragic, wouldn't you say?
Hayley: [rolls her eyes] I don't pity you, Esther.
Esther: [huffs] It's a terrible thing, for a mother to fail her child. [she picks up the starling necklace and looks at it] As you well know. [Hayley looks guilty] But now, I offer you freedom. The gift of a new body. Freedom from being a hybrid. [Hayley looks interested, but tries to hide it] I have the ability to return to you all that you have lost, Hayley. To make it so that you could have a family of your own. [smiles] More children of your own. Wouldn't that be nice?
( Klaus and Elijah finally arrive and interrupt their conversation )
Klaus: [rushes toward Hayley] I assume you've had the misfortune of speaking to my mother?
( Esther picks up a handful of some powdery substance and throws it towards Klaus, creating a magical barrier to keep him from coming any closer to her )
Klaus: [annoyed] You hide behind your spells like a coward!
Esther: I did not come here to wage war!
( Esther picks up another handful of the substance and throws it sideways toward Elijah, who has just tried to catch her off -guard, so that he can't come closer either )
Elijah: Everything you do is an act of war. If you touch her, so help me -
Esther: [interrupts] Hayley is free to go. I've spoken my piece, she knows why I'm here. I have come to heal our family, Elijah.
Klaus: Well, that's a grand sentiment, coming from you. [turns back to Hayley] Go. Now.
( As Hayley turns to leave, Esther threateningly explodes a lightbulb with magic )
Esther: My intent was never to harm! Only to heal, as I have already healed your brothers Finn and Kol. For you, I will undo everything that has been done, thereby giving you a new life! [Another lightbulb explodes] One without the vampire curse I inflicted upon you.
( Esther starts waving her hand above a cauldron, and the earth begins to shake, rattling all of the inventory on the shelves of the store )
Esther: Ask Hayley to share with you my loving proposition.
Klaus: [angry] You're a fool if you think we'll accept anything that you offer!
Esther: Oh, you are wrong, Niklaus! [The earth continues to rumble below them as more lightbulbs explode, and Esther holds her arms open wide] There will come a time, my darlings, that you will beg for it!
( The glass in the windows shatters inward, and Klaus and Elijah raise their arms over their faces to shield them from the debris. Esther lifts her arms over her head as hundreds of starlings burst their way through the windows and descend upon the store )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
( Elijah, Klaus, and Hayley are in the courtyard, processing all that they've learned this evening )
Klaus: Of course she used those damn birds to make her offer!
Elijah: [cuts him off] Besides the offer of rebirth, what else did she say?
Hayley: I don't know, she rambled a lot. She blamed the two of you for what happened to Hope, to me.
Klaus: [stops pacing and stares at her] Well, I hope you're not thinking of taking her offer?
[Hayley, looking guilty, can't meet Klaus or Elijah's eyes]
Klaus: HAYLEY. I'm talking to you!
Hayley: [stands] What do you want me to say, Klaus? I lost my daughter. So, yeah, when your mother offers to wipe the slate clean, excuse me if I'm tempted. [turns to Elijah] By the way, thanks for your help tonight, Elijah. I'm sorry that it takes me being in danger for you to even talk to me.
[Hayley storms off. Elijah looks as though he's about to stop her, but Klaus calls out to him]
Klaus: Leave her. I need you with me. [pauses] Our mother, Elijah, the woman who brought us into the world, made us what we are, and the whole time, she lied to me! She made me weak.
Elijah: [sad] You were never weak, Niklaus. You are - you have always been - the most fierce of us all. In a thousand years, I have never seen anyone successfully stand against you. Not even our wicked father. Not one of the countless devoted to your destruction. You'll protect our home, even in the face of an adversary such as our mother, because that, brother... that is what you do.
Klaus: [looks grateful and comforted and grips Elijah's shoulder in thanks] You remain ever the wise counsel, brother. The rest of the family could learn something from you.
( Elijah seems shocked at this kindness as Klaus leaves the room )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ OLD POINT BAR ]
( Across the river, Gia is at the bar, watching a man on stage play blues guitar, when Elijah arrives and joins her )
Elijah: [to the bartender] Bourbon, neat.
Gia: What? You need another python?
Elijah: [smiles] One can never have too many. [to the bartender] Thank you. [to Gia] Are you playing tonight?
Gia: I don't think so.
Elijah: It's a shame. You're rather good!
Gia: Ever since I turned, I haven't been able to play. I don't know why.
Elijah: [steps closer to her] It's different for us. Cadence, rhythm, harmony... our experience of the senses is altered. We move faster, we hear things with a greater acuity. Silences are at once longer and more profound. [touches his ear] Sound is simply different to our ears. And then, there is the emotion. For a vampire, it is extremely heightened. [pauses] Sometimes it's difficult to express.
( Elijah takes a sip of his bourbon. Gia stares at him in confusion )
Gia: Yeah, that's, uh... that's exactly it.
Elijah: Your music, the joy you felt when playing... you can learn again. [takes another drink] I can help you.
Gia: Why?
Elijah: Because if someone had done the same thing for myself and my siblings, I'm quite certain history would have unfolded differently.
( Elijah smiles at her, and after a moment, Gia gives him a small smile in return )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
( Marcel is sitting on his couch, having a drink, as the remaining vampires across the river congregate in groups. Some are drinking alcohol and talking, others are feeding on humans. Gia returns to the loft and approaches Marcel )
Marcel: [smiles] Where were you?
Gia: I saw Elijah. [smiles] You were right. He found something that he wanted to fix. [laughs] He's gonna help me.
( She sits next to Marcel on the couch, and the two take in the party atmosphere )
Marcel: He's gonna help us all.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ COVEN HOUSE/CLOSING MONTAGE ]
( Vincent/Finn and Lenore/Esther are having a heated discussion in the greenhouse. Esther opens a cage that holds two starlings )
Finn: Now, you must have known they wouldn't give in without a fight.
Esther: Of course! Tonight was not an ultimatum, it was an invitation. I just want to get them thinking. After all, only those who know they are lost will ask to be found.
Finn: They're defiant by nature, and they've grown very strong. How do you expect to show them the error of their ways?
Esther: [laughs] I will systematically destroy everything they hold dear. [cut to Niklaus, sitting alone in the compound's courtyard] I've already taken the wolves from Niklaus and made them our own. It is time, now, to focus on the prodigal son, Marcel, and his small nest of vampires across the river. [cut to Marcel, who has handed Gia a drink and introduced her to her fellow vampires] Now that we have cleansed the Quarter of his kind, perhaps it's time to turn our attention to the outskirts of our beautiful home. We will take their pride, their joy, their love. [cut to Hayley, who sits quietly in her bedroom, and looks over to see the empty rocking chair in the nursery] We will lay it all to ruin. [cut to the courtyard, where Elijah has returned and joined Klaus] And, when they are at their lowest point, in their deepest despair, they will have no choice but to beg me to release them from their pain. [she smirks] And, because I love them, I will.
|
Plan: A: Klaus; Q: Who was the necklace meant to weaken? A: Elijah; Q: Who visits Marcel to find a witch named Lenora? A: a dinner invitation; Q: What do Klaus and Elijah receive from their mother? A: Esther; Q: Who jumps out of Cassie? A: Vincent/Finn; Q: Who has Lenora abducted? A: his younger siblings; Q: Who does Vincent/Finn want to know why he was daggered for 900 years? A: 900 years; Q: How long was Finn daggered in a coffin? A: teenaged Cassie; Q: Who does Esther jump out of? A: Lenora casts; Q: Who casts a spell on Esther? A: her sons; Q: Who does Esther want to heal? A: a new life; Q: What does Esther want to give her sons? A: a mysterious way; Q: How does Esther vanish? A: Haley; Q: Who admits to being tempted by Esther's offer? A: Gia; Q: Who does Elijah agree to help? A: a big advantage; Q: What is it to the other vampires that Elijah is helping Gia? A: their family; Q: Esther and Finn discuss plans to make what whole again? Summary: Klaus and Elijah receive a dinner invitation from their mother. Elijah visits Marcel to find a witch named Lenora who can help them identify into whose body Esther jumps next, unfortunately, Vincent/Finn has her abducted. Vincent/Finn arrives the dinner and tries to know why his younger siblings had him daggered in a coffin for 900 years. It is revealed in the course of their meal that the necklace which Esther gifted Klaus wasn't meant to protect him but to weaken him in order not break his werewolf curse. After this revelation, Esther jumps out of teenaged Cassie and the spell Lenora casts falls on her and she is Identified as Esther through a mark. She tells her sons she wants to heal and not to harm, and give them a new life and she vanishes in a mysterious way. Haley admits later on that she is tempted by the offer and accuses Elijah of not being caring. Elijah agrees to help Gia which is a big advantage to the other vampires including Marcel. Esther and Finn discuss plans to make their family whole again.
|
"Leaving Normal" 4th Episode of Roswell
Production Code: 1ADA03
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Liz writing in diary)
Voice-Over: It's October 19th. I'm Liz Parker and this is what I've been thinking. Can life ever go back to normal?
(At Crashdown Cafe)
Maria: It's crazy.
Liz: It's an orthodontist convention.
Maria: Why would orthodontists want to meet in Roswell?
Liz: That's a good question.
Maria: Uh, Jose. If table 3 doesn't get their food, I swear they're going to attack.
Jose: Busy ladies, very busy.
Liz: Oh, my God. I forgot to tell you. Grandma Claudia is coming on Friday.
Maria: I have been going through Grandma withdrawal. I just love Grandma Claudia.
Liz: I know. She's like the basis of my existence.
Jose: Table 6.
Liz: Oh, great....thank you.
Maria: Jose, what about me?
(Jose blow a kiss at Maria, who rolls her eyes)
(Liz serving food to table 6)
Orthodontist: Here she is.
Liz: Ok, gentlemen. I've got one Venus Meatloaf Platter. There you go. And two Trekkie specials. Enjoy your dinner. Oh, and your space fries will be right out.
(Max enters and sits down at a booth)
Orthodontist: Uh, miss...my colleagues and I were just appreciating your wonderful overbite.
Liz: Oh...well, thank you....that's a first actually.
Orthodontist: Would you mind if we just take a look at your bite.....for medical purposes.
Liz: Sure.
(Liz shows her wonderful overbite)
Voice-Over: Part of me wants safety, wants to go back to how things were, to a life that I could predict, where I know how life is going to be. And the other part of me wants to go somewhere else, into the unknown.
Orthodontist: Magnificent.
Liz: Enjoy your dinner, gentlemen.
(Liz walks over to Max's booth)
["Candy" by Mandy Moore starts playing]
Liz: It's an orthodontist convention.
Max: Apparently.
Liz: So, are you waiting for Michael or...
Max: No, no.
(Max looks over menu)
Max: I'll just have an Alien Blast.
Liz: Me, too.
Max: Excuse me?
Liz: Nothing...ok, one Alien Blast.
(Jocks look over at Liz and Max)
Jock: He's the guy.
(Crashdown closes and Max walks across the street where jocks are waiting for him)
Max: What's going on, guys?
Jock: Evans, right?
Max: Yeah.
Jock: Stay away from her.
Max: Who?
(Jocks beat up Max)
(Opening credits)
Michael: It's those jocks from the football team, right? Kyle and his friends?
Max: Kyle wasn't there.
Michael: I've seen them giving you those looks. It was them, wasn't it?
Max: It doesn't matter who it was.
Michael: I'm going to kill them.
Max: Michael...no.
Michael: So what are we going to do?
Max: Nothing.
Michael: What do we mean we're going to do nothing?
Max: Michael, listen to me. This is bad. Kyle does something to us. We do something back to him. This kind of thing gets all over school, all over town. Rumors start flying. The whole thing about what I did to Liz starts coming up again. We get exposed.
Michael: That's exactly what I'm saying. We go and we shut up those guys right now.
Max: Michael, we have to stick together now, more than ever before. We have to go back into our shells. We can't do anything to those guys. I have to stay away from Liz.
(At school, in hallway, where Liz is looking at a calendar of athletic events)
Maria: Hey.
Liz: Hey.
Maria: So, catching up on upcoming athletic events?
Liz: Uh-huh.
Maria: Uh-huh. It couldn't be that Maz has PE 4th period and you're conveniently positioning yourself to just happen to run into him?
Liz: Good bye.
Maria: Bye.
(Max comes along and Liz walks up to him)
Liz: Hey, Max.
Max: Hey.
Liz: What happened to your face?
Max: I fell.
Liz: Are you ok?
Max: Yeah.
Liz: When did this happen? It looks really bad.
Max: Yesterday. Uh, look, I got to get going. I have an English midterm. Bye.
Liz: Bye.
(Kyle walks up to Liz)
Kyle: Liz, hey.
Liz: Hey.
Kyle: So, tonight's movie night, right?
Liz: Yes.
Kyle: Video store at 6?
Liz: Sounds great.
Kyle: Alright. Ok, see ya.
(Jocks walking down the stairs, Michael walks toward them and runs into one of them)
Jock: Hey, watch where you're going.
Michael: Dude, I'm sorry.
["Then the Morning Comes" by Smash Mouth starts playing]
(Michael watches as the jock he touched starts getting this nasty itch while talking to a cheerleader he's trying to impress)
(At Crashdown Cafe, where Mr. Parker is singing to an old song)
(Grandma enters)
Liz: Grandma!
Grandma: Honeybear!....Oh, hello Jeffrey....oh, you're still listening to them. You're dating yourself.
Mr. Parker: Well, you know, some things defy time.
Grandma: Oh, look at you.
Liz: What?
Grandma: Last year when I left, you were a child. Now I come back to find a beautiful young woman.
Liz: Grandma, let me help you upstairs with your stuff.
Grandma: Oh, Jeffrey will get it, won't you dear?
(Mr. Parker nods)
Liz: I thought you weren't supposed to be here until Friday.
Liz: Ok, so tell me what's going on. Did you finish that book you were working on last time?
Grandma: Oh, book, schmook. Let's dish.
(Mrs. Parker walks down the stairs with a basket of laundry)
Mrs. Parker: Hey Claudia.
Grandma: Nancy, oh it's so good to see you. Hey, come with us. We're going upstairs to catch up.
Mrs. Parker: Really? Should I?
Liz: Yeah, definitely. C'mon mom.
Mrs. Parker: I don't think so...I have a lot of laundry to do this week.
Grandma: We'll be back just as soon as Liz has told me about all the boys who are head over heels in love with her.
Mrs. Parker: Don't waste your time because she never talks about that stuff.
(In Liz's room)
Liz: So, in any case, Kyle's not somebody that I'm going to marry or anything. But it's...you know. We have a good time together. It's good.
(Grandma waits for Liz to say more)
Liz: What?
Grandma: Well, not every relationship has to be the be-all and end-all.
Liz: Right....it doesn't?
Grandma: No...everybody wants to find her soulmate, but there's so much time for that. I think it's nice that you have somebody you can have fun with.
Liz: What if there was something else?
Grandma: Something else?
Liz: Someone else.
Grandma: Now, this is worth the price of the airfare.
(Liz looks a bit embarrassed)
Liz: What if this someone else could potentially be...you know, what you said.
Grandma: Is there?
Liz: But what if were like complicated...like incredibly, incredibly complicated?
Grandma: Well, one thing I can tell you....if it isn't complicated, he probably isn't a soulmate.
(Maria opens the door and enters)
Maria: Grandma!
Grandma: Oh, Maria! Look at you. Another beauty. God help this poor little town with you two running around.
Maria: Ok, I love this woman.
Liz: Wait...look at this. It's an article on the first findings of the Navajo Indians in hundreds of years. Lost Treasures by Claudia Parker. It's going to be in the American Journal of Archaeology.
Maria: That is so cool.....ok, alright, so let's talk about me. The hair thing...does it work for you? I kind of see it as a Meg Ryan style after an electric storm.
Grandma: I think it's you.
Maria: She's good. Ok, so what were you guys talking about?
Liz: Nothing.
Grandma: Boys.
Maria: Oh...Kyle or Max?
(Liz gives Maria a "gee, thanks alot" look)
Liz: Thank you...
Grandma: Aha...Max.
Liz: No...Max...he's so not possible. He's just like this whole different...
Maria: Life form?
Liz: Type.
Grandma: How intriguing. A dangerous man?
Maria: Spacey man.
Grandma: A mystery man.
Liz: Ok, you two...you're out of control.
Grandma: So, what are we doing tonight?
Liz: Tonight...
(At UFO center, where Max is stuffing tubes into an alien's stomach)
Isabel: Whatcha doing?
Max: Some kid pulled these out.
Isabel: Great job you've found, Max. Real dignified.
Max: Gotta feed the monkey.
Isabel: Seventeen people at school already told me about your face....oh my God...what happened?
Max: Michael and I...
Isabel: ????? already told me the story of you falling on the basketball court....what really happened, Max?
Max: Some guys roughed me up last night.
Isabel: Why?
Max: They're friends of Kyle's. They think Kyle must be upset about me and Liz.
Isabel: You were just going to tell me some story like I couldn't handle the truth?
Max: I guess I knew how upset you'd be and I don't want you to get mad. We have to stay inside now. We have to be careful.
Isabel: Max, this whole thing with Liz and the sherriff's son. It's just...
Max: I know, I'm staying away from Liz.
(Isabel looking over Max's injuries)
Isabel: Pretty raw...why don't you just get rid of them?
Max: Because they have to heal normally...everything has to be normal.
(Kyle and Liz on street walking towards Crashdown Cafe)
Liz: I can't believe you actually rented this. This looks like the worst movie in history.
Kyle: Well, ok, for your information, "Massacre at Sunset Village" is a modern day classic. And the serial killer homes in on this retirement community so it's got something for your grandmother.
Liz: I am not showing this to my grandmother.
Kyle: Well, twenty minutes of ????? and boringness and we'll all be ready for some action.
(There's a crowd gathered outside the Crashdown and an ambulance is outside)
(At hospital, nurses are wheeling in Grandma on a stretcher down the hall)
Doctor: What have we got?
Nurse: Patient complained of weakness in her left thigh and her family members noticed slurred speech before she lost consciousness. BP 160, pulse 100, respiration 20
Doctor: Gimme an EKG....keep them out of here, please.
Nurse: I'm sorry, I need to have you wait.
Mr. Parker: That's my mother.
Nurse: I understand that, but I need you to wait out here.
(In hospital lobby where Parker family and Kyle are waiting for news about Grandma)
Liz: I'm gonna go...
(Liz buys a soft drink and decides to call Max)
Max: Hi, it's Max...I'm not here right now, but please leave a message.
Liz: Hi, Max...it's Liz. I'm at the hospital. Something happened to my grandmother. We don't know if it's serious, but it seems really bad. I'm just scared. Look, I don't even know why I'm calling you. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice or something. Now I just feel completely stupid. Look, don't come here or anything because everyone is here. I'll just see you in school tomorrow. Sorry for the weird call. Bye.
(In hospital lobby again)
Mr. Parker: Dr. Sanchez.
Doctor: Jeff, hi. Nancy.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you for coming...we're so glad you're able to be here.
Doctor: Of course.
Mr. Parker: How is she?
Doctor: Jeff, your mother's had a stroke. This is serious, but she's been responding really well. Her vital signs are good. She's stabilized.
Mr. Parker: Is she going to be ok?
Doctor: A lot of people fully recover from a stroke like this, but it's early. We're going to need some time to determine what the repurcussions are.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you.
Doctor: We have reason to be positive here.
Mr. Parker: Ok, thanks.
(Dr. Sanchez leaves and Max enters)
Liz: Max.
Max: Hey.
Liz: My grandmother just had a stroke.
Max: Oh, I'm sorry....how are you doing, you ok?
Liz: Yeah, thanks.....everyone this is Max.
Mr. Parker: Hi there.
Max: Hi.
Kyle: So, what are you doing here?
Max: My cousin got into a car accident.
Liz: I'm sorry.
Max: I don't think it's serious. I better go find out how he's doing.
(Outside the hospital, Max starts car and sees Kyle waiting to talk to him)
Kyle: So, how's your cousin?
Max: He's going to be ok.
Kyle: Your cousin wasn't in an accident, was he?
Max: It was a mistake.
Kyle: Max....I know that something happened between you and Liz the day of the shooting. That you helped her out or whatever. She was shaken up and you calmed her down and I appreciate that. But what I don't appreciate is that ever since then, you've been all over her. I see it, Max. My friends see it, the entire school sees it. Now, I like Liz...a lot, and I don't want you around her.
Max: Believe me, I can see that.
(Max drives off)
(At Valenti home)
Sheriff: Hey, improving your mind, eh?
Sheriff: How was your day?
Kyle: Just got back from the hospital.
Sheriff: The hospital?
Kyle: Liz's grandma had a stroke.
Sheriff: I'm sorry to hear that.
Kyle: They think she's going to be alright though.
Sheriff: Give my regards to the family, will ya?
Kyle: Yeah....
Sheriff: Kyle, is something bugging you?
Kyle: Just girl troubles...nothing you'd understand.
(Sherriff turns tv off)
Sheriff: Why don't you try me?
Kyle: Alright, let me just ask you then. When you and mom, back when things were good if you can remember that far back, did you ever feel like you didn't know what was going on with her? Like she was just going through the motions, like there was something else on her mind all the time?
Sheriff: Is that what's going on with Liz? Is something on her mind?
Kyle: Why am I talking to you about this? I'm like deranged.
Sheriff: What else is on her mind? School stuff?
Kyle: No, no...just like someone else, maybe.
Sheriff: Does this have anything to do with that Max kid?
Kyle: What...the entire country knows?
Sheriff: Kyle, listen to me. I don't want you getting mixed up with that kid.
Kyle: What are you talking about? What do you care about Max Evans?
Sheriff: Kyle, I don't want you around him. Do you hear me?
Kyle: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Exam going on in classroom)
(Michael changes answers of one of the jocks that beat up Max)
(At Max's locker)
Liz: Max, hey.
Max: Hey, how's your grandmother?
Liz: We're waiting, but I think she's going to be ok. I mean, if anyone can pull through this, it's her. She's so full of life. I was thinking that when she gets better, I'd really love for you to meet her.
Max: I hope she's ok.
Liz: So, about last night.
Max: Yeah, I shouldn't of come. Totally.
Liz: No, I'm glad you did. It really meant a lot that you were there. I'm just really sorry that it got so awkward.
Max: It was a mistake. I mean, you had your family there...and Kyle.
Liz: I know I shouldn't have called...
Max: Yeah, you shouldn't have probably. We said we agreed to, you know....see ya later, Liz.
(Max leaves a bit frustrated)
(In bathroom, Max knocks down a stall wall)
Michael: Ow.
Michael: Gandhi feeling frustrated?
Max: Shut up.
Michael: Let me guess...you're in love with a girl and she's with another guy.
Max: You realize that you can be really annoying, right?
Michael: I got something else that's gonna cheer you up.
(Kyle can't open his locker)
Max: What the hell are you doing?
Michael: What am I doing?
Max: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm helping you out.
Max: No, you're not helping me out. You promised me that you wouldn't do anything to those guys.
Michael: I promised I wouldn't hurt those guys.
Max: You're putting us in danger, Michael.
Michael: You're the one who put us in danger when you saved Liz. You're the one who screwed up.
Max: Yeah, and I'd do it again right now.
Michael: Let's hope we can trust her.
Max: We can trust her.
Michael: Well, I don't trust anyone these days.
(Liz is sitting on a couch in a hallway at school and Maria comes by)
Maria: Liz, how's she doing?
Liz: She's ok...we're just going to wait and see.
Maria: Come here. So what are you doing at school?
(Liz lies down on Maria's lap and Maria starts twirling Liz's hair)
Liz: I was at the hospital all night. My parents just wanted me to take a break. My mom said she'd page me if anything changed.
Maria: Well, you know, you should be at home then...binging on junk food and Rosie.
(Liz sits up)
Liz: Maria, I'm getting this really weird feeling from Max.
Maria: What kind of feeling?
Liz: It's like he's pulling away or something...he can't even be pulling away because we're not together to begin with, but I feel him like avoiding me.
Maria: Well, wasn't that the whole agreement, that you guys wouldn't be seen together for awhile.
Liz: Yeah, but it's different. I saw Max before and he had this...like this tone like I was his enemy or something.
Maria: Maybe you're just reading into this too much. I mean, with everything that's going on.
Liz: Maybe.
(Bell rings)
Liz: So, I'll just, I'll see you at work.
Maria: Work? No way you're working tonight, Liz.
Liz: No, Stephanie's on vacation, Karen's pregnant, and those tooth people are going to invade. I cannot leave you by yourself.
Maria: Liz, you should be with your family, ok? I can handle the Crashdown.
Liz: Are you sure?
Maria: Absolutely, and besides, I'm not alone. I have Agnes.
(At Crashdown...the place is packed and there are some frustrated customers)
["Mistaken" by Save Ferris is playing]
Customer: I've been here half an hour.
Maria: Enjoy your meal. Enjoy your meal.
Customer: Thanks.
Customer: Miss, can I order now, please?
Maria: Yes, one second.
Maria: Hi, what can I get for you, sir?
Orthodontist: Well, lemme ask you. Would you recommend the Will Smith burger over the Tommy Lee Jones Bacon basket?
Maria: Agnes, can you get that guy's order, please?
Orthodontist: So which one would you recommend?
Maria: The first one.
Orthodontist: The Will Smith?
(Agnes walks out, Maria follows)
Maria: Agnes! What are you doing?
Agnes: I'm on break.
Maria: Break? You're on a break? You just had a break!
Agnes: They'll get their food when they get their food.
(Maria gets out her cedar oil and starts sniffing it)
Maria: Oh no. No no no no no no no.
(Isabel walks by with two of her friends)
Maria (to Agnes): Isabel.
Maria (to Isabel): Isabel.
Isabel: I'm sorry, do I know you?
Maria: I need to talk to you.
Isabel: I'll meet you guys at the movie.
Isabel: I thought we agreed that you would never address me until we'd established complete privacy.
Maria: Ok, I am going to hate myself for this but I need to ask you for a favor that will leave me forever endebted to you. I am so dead here. Will you help me wait tables?
Isabel: You're kidding, right?
Maria: Please.
Isabel: To put this as succinctly as possible, I'm not really a service oriented person.
Maria: Wait wait wait. Liz's grandmother is in the hospital. Ok, and if she doesn't think that I can do this, it's just going to give her one more thing to worry about. Please. Look, it's not for me, it's for Liz.
Isabel: Well, since you put it that way...no.
(At hospital)
Mr. Parker: Well, your grandmother was hiking in Yosemite. And she came across this guy who was deer hunting.
Mrs. Parker: And it wasn't even deer season.
Mr. Parker: Well, I think it was. But anyway, he's hunting inside the national park.
Mrs. Parker: And it was off season, too.
Mr. Parker: Anyway, she arrested him.
Liz: Who, the hunter?
Mr. Parker: Yeah, it was him and his brother and their buddy, too, right?
Mrs. Parker: Right.
Mr. Parker: Made a citizen's arrest.
Mrs. Parker: And you should have seen your grandma. She's dragging these 3 gun-wielding, beer-guzzling hunters into the sherriff's office. It made national news, right?
Liz: She's so incredible.
PA/Intercom: CODE BLUE, ICU, ROOM 104, CODE BLUE, ICU, ROOM 104.
Mr. Parker: Oh my God. It's her.
Doctor: Charge 200...clear.
Assistant: Nothing.
Doctor: Charge 300....clear.
Assistant: Nothing.
Doctor: Charge 360...clear.
(Later on at the hospital, after Crashdown closed, Maria visits)
Maria: She could still come out of it.
Liz: Well, the doctor doesn't think so. I saw it in his eyes.
Liz: I can't believe this. I mean, you saw her yesterday, you know? She was so full of life.
Maria: I know.
Liz: I can't believe I went out. I was out all day. I wasted all that time in the video store. I had all this time that I could have just spent with her and I left. What was I thinking?
Liz: I know, it's irrational. I'm being irrational.
Maria: Liz, I'm glad you're being irrational. I mean, this is hard. This is really, really hard. Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
Liz: Yeah, it's fine, but thank you.
(Maria hugs Liz)
Maria: Ok, I love you.
Liz: I love you, too.
(At school, janitor opens up Kyle's locker)
Janitor: Whoa, that's weird.
Kyle: What?
Janitor: Looks like it melted.
(At Evans home, Max is lying on bed and and sees Isabel looking down at him while wearing a Crashdown uniform)
Max: No way!
Isabel: Shut up. Temporary situation.
Max: Why are you...? You're covering for Liz, aren't you?
Isabel: So....depressed? Feeling sorry for yourself? Angry at the world?
Max: All of the above.
Isabel: Listen, I heard Liz's grandma isn't doing so well. She could probably use someone to talk to.
Max: She's got Maria. She's got Kyle.
Isabel: Who did she call when she first found out?
Max: You're the one who's always telling me I have to stay away from her. What are you saying, Is?
Isabel: I'm just saying that, you know, if something like this happened to grandma or grandpa, I wouldn't want to be kept away from who I really needed. So anyway, wish me luck. Or should I say, wish the orthodontists luck.
(At Crashdown, customer is trying to get Isabel's attention)
["Someday" by Sugar Ray playing]
Customer: Excuse me, ma'am.
Isabel: Ma'am? Look, you're not going to get anywhere calling me ma'am.
Customer: I ordered this burger well done. Well. Not rare. Well.
(Isabel leaves with plate and heats the food with her power)
Isabel: It looks well done to me.
Isabel's Friend #1: Isabel Evans? Cleaning people's remains?
Isabel's Friend #2: Isabel...image means everything is this world, you know that.
Isabel's Friend #1: We base our lives on that.
Isabel's Friend #2: And if you're seen in this capacity, it's not just you that suffers. It brings us all down.
Isabel: Chill out.
(Maria comes by with a cup of coffee)
Maria: Hi, can you heat this? You're a genius.
(At Max's house)
Liz: Can I talk to you for a second?
Liz: So I've been thinking about why I called you, you know, that day from the hospital. Because I knew it was against the rules and it led to that whole awkward moment. But, I called anyway. Sort of couldn't help it. Because when something like this happens, what's happening to my grandmother, you don't listen to logic to what you're supposed to do. You listen to your heart, and my heart told me to call you. Because you were the one person in the world that I really wanted to talk to. Max, I've been thinking something, and I'm really not going to be able to get it out of my head unless I just say it. I'm really sorry for asking you this, but is there, is there anything that you could do for my grandmother, you know, do?
Max: Liz, when I saved you, it was because you were shot, and there was a bullet in you. Something was happening to you that wasn't supposed to happen. It was before your time. But I can't just heal people. I'm not God.
Liz: I know.
(Outside school where Kyle and his football friends are walking down a path)
Kyle: So the locker just melted closed. How do you explain that? Metal's got to be like 500 degrees to melt.
Jock: Maybe it was that Max guy, getting back at us.
Kyle: Getting back at us for what?
Jock: We beat the crap out of the b*st*rd.
Kyle: What?
Jock: You're the one that told us he was hitting on Liz.
Kyle: Idiots.
(At hospital, outside Grandma's room)
Kyle:How's she doing?
Liz: She's ok.
Kyle: Listen, I need to talk to you.
(Outside hospital)
Kyle: Liz, I'm sorry. I know you have other things on your mind right now, but I just wanted to tell you that I had nothing to do with what happened to Max.
Liz: What happened to Max?
Kyle: You know...Tommy and Paulie, those guys. They're degenerates and I had no idea they were going to do that.
Liz: Do what?
Kyle: You know, beat him up. You didn't know?
Liz: Why would they do something like that?
Kyle: I don't know why. They were just trying to help out.
Liz: Help out? How would that help out?
Kyle: I told them it was wrong, Liz.
Liz: How could you be friends with people who would do that?
Kyle: C'mon Liz. They're good guys. You...
Liz: No, they're not good guys.
Kyle: Why are you getting like this?
Liz: Like what?
Kyle: I'm trying to explain something to you and you're letting it get all out of hand.
Liz: You must have said something to them about Max. They must have had a reason to do what they did.
Kyle: Why are you so damn worried about Max?
Liz: Because he got attacked for no reason. He's the last person in the world who would ever want to hurt someone.
Kyle: So, that's it, isn't it? You and Max are together.
Liz: No, we're not......neither are we.
Kyle: What?
Liz: Kyle, I just, I really don't think that we should be together anymore.
Kyle: So, you're going to break up with me because my friends knocked Max around?
Liz: No, it's complicated.
Kyle: It's because of Max.
Liz: No, I told you that Max...
Kyle: Listen, Max is trouble. My dad's got an eye on him.
Liz: I have to go see my grandmother. I'm sorry Kyle.
(In Grandma's room)
Liz: Mom, Dad? Hi guys. I got you a cup.
Mrs. Parker: Thank you.
Liz: Got it?
Liz: Why don't you guys go outside and get some air?
Mr. Parker: You sure?
Liz: Yeah, I'll be fine, ok?
(Liz sits down next to Grandma's bed)
Liz: Grandma...grandma...
(Max enters)
Max: Hey.
Max: I can't stop, you know what's going to happen, but maybe I can help you say goodbye.
(Max tries to revive grandma, but can't)
Max: I'm sorry.
Liz: Thank you.
Grandma: Honeybear.
(Liz looks up and sees her Grandma, then looks back to the bed and sees her Grandma still lying on bed)
Grandma: Let me guess...Max.
Liz: Grandma, I guess the thing I wanted to say to you more than anything else is just how much you mean to me, and somehow you just always manage to make me feel really special, and I, I just don't know what I'm going to do without you.
Grandma: You're going to do just fine, and I want to tell you something. When I look at you so excited about life, I see myself, and that's a gift, a gift that I will take with me, that I'll always treasure. Promise me one thing, that you'll follow your heart wherever it takes you. Trust it. Will you do that?
Liz: I will.
(Flatline)
(Outside Crashdown Cafe)
["I Love You" by Sarach McLachlan starts playing]
Voice-Over: The tough thing about following your heart is what people forget to mention, that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn't be, places that are as scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring, and sometimes your heart takes you to places that can never lead to a happy ending.
Liz: Max, thank you for...
Max: Shhh. It's ok.
Liz: Good night.
Max: Good night.
Voice-Over: And that's not even the difficult part. The difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown.
(Liz turns around and hugs Max.)
Voice-Over: And once you do, you can never go back.
(Scene fades out with Liz and Max hugging each other under the Crashdown Cafe sign)
|
Plan: A: Isabel; Q: Who is concerned about Maria's nervous reactions to Sheriff Valenti? A: her car; Q: What does Isabel crash with Maria? Summary: Isabel is concerned about Maria's nervous reactions to Sheriff Valenti after she crashes her car with her. So she invades one of Maria's dreams to determine whether she can keep the aliens' secret.
|
[Scene: The halls of the Dorm rooms. Audrey is walking along and comes to the door, but before opening the door she notices a scrunchy on the door handle, stops and then turns away without going into the room. Cut to inside the room, we find Joey and Charlie sleeping in her bed, fully clothed.]
Charlie: Good morning.
Joey: You could say that.
Charlie: How did you sleep?
Joey: [Sighs] Well, between the talking in the sleep and the stealing all the covers, not too well, actually.
Charlie: That drool stain on your pillow begs to differ.
Joey: That's not drool!
Charlie: Like a basset hound.
Joey: I do not drool, and if you tell anyone I do, then I'll just mention how you moan in your sleep about your mom taking away your Barbie dolls.
Charlie: Ok, I didn't
Joey: Only for about 20 minutes.
Charlie: Ok, in that case, I saw no drool.
Joey: [Laughing] You know what my favorite thing about it is?
Charlie: What?
Joey: Do you know where I got that scar?
[Shows him her elbow]
Charlie: No.
Joey: Do you know who my sixth grade teacher was?
Charlie: No. Mine was Mrs.
Joey: Shh! You're ruining my favorite thing.
Charlie: Ok, I'm sorry. Ok, you lost me at the scar.
Joey: The point is, I wasn't there for every day of your life up until now, and you weren't here every day of mine.
Charlie: This is supposed to be a good thing?
Joey: Living without the weight of 18 years of expectation? Yes, it's a good thing. I mean, think about it. At this point, all I really know about you and your childhood is that... you used to play with Barbie dolls.
Charlie: Ok, it wasn't a doll. All right? It was m-- ok. So maybe it was. Barbie looks really hot naked.
Joey: Whatever you say.
Charlie: Hey, and look, there are rules about information obtained while in bed.
Joey: Locked away.
Charlie: Thank you.
Joey: So, did you have the Malibu beach house? Because I always wanted the Malibu beach house.
[Laughter and then they get into a pillow fight]
[Opening Credits]
[Scene: The Civilization. Audrey and Pacey come walking in ready for work, and begin to notice that no one is there.]
Audrey: So you didn't read the memo?
Pacey: Do I look like the kind of guy who reads memos?
Audrey: It was in the envelope with our paychecks. It contained the phrase, "under new management." None of this rings any bells?
Pacey: Look, I'm telling you, there is no way that Danny's gone. I talked to him right before we went on vacation, and he didn't mention anything to me about leaving.
Audrey: Pacey, not to burst your boy-crush bubble, but didn't Danny always used to say that someday you'd look up and he'd be gone in search of greater culinary adventures?
Pacey: Yes, but I think he would have told me first.
Audrey: Well, you know what? If you'd read the memo, you'd see that day had come.
Pacey: Audrey, that doesn't make any sense. Danny loves this place. He's not gonna just up and quit.
Audrey: I don't think that he had any choice, Pacey.
Pacey: Do you think they would fire Danny? Like, I'm going to go away on vacation for 5 days, and the guy's just gonna disappear. He's just gonna be gone.
Audrey: I don't know. I don't speak corporate, but the memo sounded like some big conglomerate bought the place and wants to turn it into a chain or something.
Pacey: Since when do we have an organization that communicates by memo?
[Audrey picks up a memo from the counter]
Audrey: Since now, apparently. "Closed for lunch, staff meeting with new manager at 3:00." Would it have killed someone to call us?
Pacey: I am sure that there is a perfectly logical explanation for all of this.
Audrey: Logical, yes. Good, no.
[Scene: School Ground. Joey is just exiting the building after attending a class, when Charlie comes running up to her.]
Charlie: Hey, you are not gonna believe the news I have.
Joey: Charlie, don't they have classes at Boston bay?
Charlie: Well, yeah, sure, but no one goes to 'em.
Joey: Explains a lot. So let me get this straight. You were waiting out here this entire time
Charlie: No, no, no, no. I was not waiting out here this entire time. Ok, well, most of the time. Anyway, what do you know about lust to love?
Joey: Excuse me?
Charlie: They're a band. Lust to love. They're like a Go-Gos tribute thing.
Joey: There are people who actually want to relive the Go-Gos?
Charlie: Yeah, sure, of course. I mean, the Go-Gos rocked, in their time, of course. Anyway, we opened up for them a couple weeks ago, and now Lloyd is dating Natasha, their drummer, and they want us to go on tour with them.
Joey: A real tour?
Charlie: Yes! I mean, nothing too fancy. We're just basic indie-rock, DIY thing, you know, and 10 cities in a van-- I mean, this is exactly what we've been looking for.
Joey: Charlie, that's amazing! Congratulations!
Charlie: Thank you.
Joey: So, when do you guys go? This summer?
Charlie: No. Actually, we hit the road Monday.
Joey: But it's the middle of the semester.
Charlie: Well, sure, yeah, but, I mean, the rest of the guys, they're not even in college, and the way I see it, I mean, I think I can put in a few incompletes, make up stuff next year, I mean, unless we hit it big.
Joey: Well, it sounds like you've got it all figured out.
Charlie: Almost. I think you should come with me.
Joey: Charlie, you can't be serious. You're not asking me to drop out of school and go on tour with you? I mean, this is my life-- Worthington college. I love it here.
Charlie: So you're saying you think I shouldn't go?
Joey: No, I'm saying that I don't think that I should go.
Charlie: Right. Ok, I'm sorry, all right? I know I'm not being fair. It's just that this thing between us-- we just got it started, and it took me a really long time to get you to even consider me as a prospect. I guess what I'm trying to say is just that I don't want... this to end just yet.
Joey: You're not leaving right this second, are you?
Charlie: No.
Joey: It's not over yet.
[She takes his arm and pulls him along]
[Scene: Dawson's Bedroom. Dawson is packing a bag, while Oliver is sitting on his bed waiting for him.]
Dawson: All right. So, at the top, obviously, we apologize for rescheduling, and then I say we get right to talking about the movie, all right? How we made it, how much it cost
Oliver: Whatever, but if you let me do most of the talking, I think you'll find the whole thing goes over much better.
Dawson: Why?
Oliver: Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings, Dawson, but you're a little dry. I mean, camera angle this, lighting the shot that... trust me. This is what I do. I shine in meetings.
Dawson: You've had meetings?
Oliver: Well, you know, practice meetings... with family members.
Dawson: Great.
Oliver: Would you stop worrying so much?
Dawson: Oliver, how many agents did we send this movie to?
Oliver: 50.
Dawson: 60. How many actually answered our letter?
Oliver: One, but trust me. We got no worries here. You're a terrific director, and I'm a phenomenal writer. After today, when someone asks us, do you 2 gentlemen have representation, we can say, why, yes. Yes, we do.
Dawson: Plenty people are talented, Oliver. Not all of them have agents.
Oliver: That's true, do you know why? Because it's all about presentation. We go in there looking like a million bucks, who's gonna turn us down? Huh?
Dawson: [Sighs] I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but how exactly do I do that?
Oliver: Ok. You see the movie rain man?
Dawson: Yeah.
Oliver: Well, remember when they're coming down the escalator in Vegas? Right?
Dawson: This isn't going where I think it's going, is it?
Oliver: That was a kick-ass entrance!
Dawson: Oliver, no!
Oliver: How great would that go over? We'd look like the ultimate team.
Dawson: We're not gonna go to this meeting wearing matching suits.
Oliver: How about just matching shirts, huh?
[Dawson grabs his bag and walks away from him]
Oliver: Come on! We'd look like Siegfried and Roy!
[Scene: Audrey and Joey's Dorm. Audrey is putting on some makeup while Joey is sitting in a chair talking to her.]
Audrey: Oh! So, wait a minute. Let me just get this straight. He waited for you after class, and then he asked you to go with him?
Joey: Yes.
Audrey: On tour?
Joey: Yes.
Audrey: To sing, right?
Joey: No. To be his girlfriend.
Audrey: Oh! Charlie? Charlie Todd? The boy who'll break your heart and then start in on your sister?
Joey: Yes, the roguishly handsome bad-boy we've grown to know and love: Gone, vanished.
Audrey: Elvis has left the building.
Joey: Yes. Well, no, he hasn't. He's actually downstairs right now buying snacks from the vending machine.
Audrey: He's here? Now?
Joey: He wants to spend as much time together as possible before he leaves.
Audrey: Oh, so, what's the problem?
Joey: Audrey, many levels have been skipped here-- many, many levels.
Audrey: Yeah, but it is kind of romantic, isn't it? I mean, this boy drives halfway across the country to sweep you off your feet, and now he wants you to join him on the open road for some great adventure?
Joey: It's not romantic, Audrey. It's frightening, and it's getting worse.
Audrey: How much worse?
Joey: Well, when he found out I wasn't really up for the mission of madness, he started to talk about staying. I believe the word "us" may have even been used.
Audrey: Oh, yikes! More levels. All right, but he's not going to, though, right? Stay, I mean.
Joey: Well, no, but
Audrey: So, chill out! I'm sure you're just overreacting a little. Besides, it sounds like the worst thing that could happen is that you hurt his feelings a little bit. Wow! Bonus! Who knew that Charlie Todd had any feelings? Oh, my god. I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet Pacey outside. We have to go meet the new manager of civilization.
Joey: New manager?
Audrey: Yeah. I'll write you a memo.
[Audrey goes and opens the door to find Charlie outside it]
Charlie: Hello, Audrey.
Audrey: Bye, Charlie.
[Charlie comes in carrying snack foods.]
[Scene: The Civilization. All the employees are arriving for the big meeting. Audrey and Pacey come in and get in a spot close to the bar with the rest of the employees.]
Audrey: I hope this thing is over quickly. Oh, and let me tell you something. If there's flair involved, I just want you to know I'm quitting. Did you get a hold of Danny yet?
Pacey: No, I didn't, and the message on his home answering machine said something about New York for the weekend, so I don't know how long it's gonna be.
Audrey: Oh, god.
[Alex (played by Sherilyn Fenn) comes walking in and goes and stands in front of the bar to address everyone.]
Alex: Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get your attention, please. If everyone's here, I guess we'll get started. I'm Alex Pearl, and as I'm sure you've all heard, civilization was sold last week. Now, the old owners and the old chef have already moved on to new prospects, but they've built something here so successful that the new owners are looking to expand it into a series of restaurants.
Pacey: You mean a chain.
Alex: More like multiple locations with similar atmosphere and menu. Do you have a problem with that?
Pacey: No, no. [Laughs] I just have a little problem with people being forced out of things that they built with their own 2 hands.
Alex: Well, I can assure you that nobody walked away from this deal poverty-stricken. After all, that is why people get into the restaurant business.
Pacey: Why? To make money?
Alex: That's why we're all here, isn't it? Now, as manager of this location, I'll be instituting a lot of changes, not only in policy, but also in staff. Invariably, some of you will be let go.
Pacey: Some of us?
Alex: Yeah, I'm sorry, but have you been elected to speak for the entire staff?
Pacey: Oh, no. I apologize. I didn't realize that we had to be allowed to speak.
Alex: You will be, individually. Over the course of the evening, I'll be speaking with each of you about your employment prospects. Now, in the meantime, I hope that you'll take any free time that you have to familiarize yourself with our employee handbook.
[Audrey turns to Pacey]
Audrey: That sound you just heard? That was all the fun leaving the building, Pacey.
Alex: As for those of you who will be let go, I apologize. It's nothing personal. It's just that some personalities don't mesh. That's all for now. Thank you.
[Employees talking quietly]
Audrey: Ok, it's official. She's the devil.
Pacey: Relax, will you? We don't know how bad this is yet.
Audrey: Well, you better hope it doesn't get too bad, Mr. I've-been-elected- to-speak-for-the-staff, because you didn't make the most stellar first impression.
Pacey: Why don't we just get through the dinner rush, and we can compare notes later, ok?
Audrey: Ok.
Pacey: Ok.
[Alex comes walking up to them.]
Alex: Pacey? Pacey Witter?
Pacey: Yeah?
Alex: I'm Alex Pearl.
Pacey: It's nice to meet you.
Alex: Nice to meet you. I apologize if I seemed harsh back there. I would hate to seem as if I don't welcome employee feedback. As a matter of fact, you're first on my list, if you could follow me to my office.
Pacey: Sure.
Alex: Great. Come on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Alex's Office. Alex and Pacey come walking into the office, and Alex goes and sits behind the desk, while Pacey takes a seat.]
Alex: Smile, Pacey. It's not the end of the world.
Pacey: Well, that's easy for you to say. You're not about to lose your job.
Alex: You don't like authority much, do ya?
Pacey: Not really, no.
Alex: But you liked Danny Brecher?
Pacey: Well, the man taught me everything I know.
Alex: Including your attitude?
Pacey: Most especially my attitude.
Alex: So I've heard.
Pacey: Which is why you're firing me now?
Alex: Is that what you want?
Pacey: No. Believe it or not, I need this job, and I want to stay.
Alex: Good. Because it was my plan to promote you. I need someone with leadership abilities in the kitchen, at least until I hire someone permanent, of course.
Pacey: Are you being serious?
Alex: Do I look serious?
Pacey: Yes, you do. Honestly, don't you think that I'm a little inexperienced for that kind of responsibility?
Alex: Oh, all you have to do is maintain the status quo, Pacey. Look, if you can't handle it, there are several other people that I could ask.
Pacey: No, no. I can handle it.
Alex: Overconfident. I like that. Don't you think you better get to work?
Pacey: Yes, absolutely. And thank you.
Alex: And you're welcome.
[They shake hands]
Pacey: Ok.
[Scene: Joey's Dorm Room. Charlie is sitting on the floor flipping through a magazine, while Joey is lying on her bed studying.]
Charlie: You are coming to the show tonight, right?
Joey: Of course. I wouldn't miss your farewell to Boston.
Charlie: [Sighs] Listen. Will you stop studying for a second?
Joey: Ok.
Charlie: I've been thinking a lot about what happened this morning, right? And you know the part where I came and talked to you about the tour? You know, it didn't go exactly the way I planned.
Joey: Yeah. It was a little awkward.
Charlie: Yeah, and... and I was thinking that... you know, maybe I shouldn't go.
Joey: You mean, not go on the tour?
Charlie: I mean, you're right. You know, school is important, you know? Maybe it's not important to me, but, you know, in theory, school's important, you know, but it can wait. I mean, I already got one opportunity, and others are bound to happen. And until then...
[He kisses her]
Charlie: Look, we're gonna have a good time together. I mean, hell, we can start our own band, right? You and me.
Joey: Charlie, I can't
[He kisses her before she can finish]
Joey: I don't think this is a good idea anymore.
Charlie: Look, I know you have your doubts about me, Joey Potter. Hey, and you should! Hell, some days I have my own doubts about me, but...it's not too late for me to prove that I can be a person of substance.
Joey: It's not about you proving to be an
[He kisses her again before she can finish]
Charlie: We are going to be great together, Joey. You and me. I know this is the right decision. We'll talk more later.
[Scene: The Agent's Office. Dawson and Oliver as sitting on the couch in the reception area, waiting to meet with the Agent.]
Dawson: All right, this is our last chance to go over any strategy before we get in there.
Oliver: This guy's gonna keep us waiting at least another half an hour. It's a power thing. He's playing games with us.
Dawson: Or he's actually busy.
[The receptionist looks over at them and smiles before going back to her computer.]
Oliver: Whoa.
Dawson: What?
Oliver: Did you see that?
Dawson: What?
Oliver: The receptionist. I think she just checked me out.
Dawson: She's not even looking over here.
Oliver: Oh, but she was. Think I should ask her out?
Dawson: No.
Oliver: Yeah, it's the whole long-distance thing. She lives in New York, I live in Boston.
Dawson: Right. Exactly. That's it.
Oliver: But, you know, if she's willing to go for it, it might work out. Ok, maybe on my way out. She looks busy now.
[He goes back to his magazine]
Oliver: Yes. Pulp Fiction II.
[Scene: The Civilization kitchen. Pacey is preparing some foods, when Audrey comes into the kitchen, with an unhappy look on her face.]
Pacey: How'd it go? Not so bad, huh?
Audrey: Worse.
Pacey: Oh, come on. The woman is not the devil. She's just putting up a tough front to intimidate us, trying to make us respect her. I bet 10-1 it will not last.
Audrey: Ok, well, you can let me know how it all turns out, ok?
Pacey: I guarantee, you'll wanna see it for yourself.
Audrey: No, actually, I won't because I'm no longer an employee of civilization.
Pacey: You quit?
Audrey: No. Wench fired me.
Pacey: She did what?
Audrey: Are you gonna make me say it again?
Pacey: No, no, no. I'm sorry. This is not a big deal, ok? In fact, it's an easy fix, so why don't you go home, take the night off and relax, and I will talk to her.
Audrey: What good is that gonna do?
Pacey: Well, it can't hurt, right? I'm willing to go out on a limb and be optimistic here and tell you that I can guarantee you will have your job back by tomorrow afternoon.
Audrey: You promise?
Pacey: I promise.
Audrey: Ok.
[Scene: Inside the Agent's Office. Dawson and Oliver are sitting down, as Andrew finishes up on a phone call.]
Andrew: Yeah, so screw 'em if they can't take a joke. Sorry about that. Sorry about keeping you guys waiting all day. Andrew Waller.
Dawson: Dawson leery. Don't worry about it. We're thrilled to be here.
Oliver: Thirst for vengeance? You weren't responsible for that were you?
Andrew: We packaged it, yes.
Dawson: We were just talking about that movie on the way down, actually. That was an interesting choice to have him direct that movie.
Oliver: Yeah, but that script, bazooka comics have more depth than that.
Andrew: Must be the writer.
Dawson: Yeah...we both are, actually, which is what kind of what makes us such a good team, 'cause Oliver, in addition to knowing what he likes, also has the ability to think big, in almost operatic terms.
Andrew: And you reign him in?
Dawson: Right. Yeah. As a director, I've learned that sometimes you just have to think in terms of what's logistically possible. Otherwise, you won't get anything on film.
Andrew: And you did something far beyond the usual student film, and believe me, I've seen a lot of them.
Dawson: Thank you.
Andrew: So, what I wanted to discuss with you
Oliver: Um, can I interrupt for a moment?
Andrew: Sure.
Oliver: Because we don't have a lot of time. Actually, we have a couple more meetings today. Mostly production companies, more on the edgier, indie side. Not that we're opposed to, you know, compromising our artistic integrity to earn a couple bucks. The point is, what is it that Hollywood is always looking for, but never seems to find enough of?
Andrew: Is this a riddle or something?
Dawson: Oliver
Oliver: Don't worry. I got this. Young talent! Heh heh. And that, my friend, is what me and my partner are-- we are young, and we're talented.
Andrew: I would agree on both counts, which is why I asked you to come meet with me.
Oliver: So let's cut to the chase, shall we?
Dawson: Or we could just listen to what the man has to say.
Oliver: Where does that term come from, anyway? "Cut to the chase." It's a Hollywood term. No one wanted to just sit through boring hours of narrative. They wanted to get right to the exciting chase sequence. Isn't that right?
Andrew: I believe it is, yeah.
Oliver: Thus...cut to the chase.
Dawson: Ok, that ends another fascinating edition of "anatomy of a phrase."
Andrew: Is he...ok?
Oliver: Depends on what you mean by that term.
Andrew: I'm just sort of wondering if he's on some kind of drugs.
Oliver: Ha!
Dawson: No. He's just eccentric.
Oliver: Mr. Waller, we don't mean to waste your time.
Andrew: Well, in that case, Oliver. Dawson. Nice to meet you both. Thanks for stopping by. We'll be in touch.
[He escorts them out.]
[Scene: Joey and Audrey's Dorm room. Audrey is lying down on her back, on her bed, watching as Joey is pacing around the room.]
Joey: I told you this was going to happen, Audrey. You said I was overreacting, but I wasn't, was I? You are still coming with me tonight, right? Make it seem less like a date?
Audrey: Yeah, sure. Now that I'm fired, what else have I got to do?
Joey: It's official. I'm a horrible person.
Audrey: You are so not a horrible person.
Joey: I am. I'm the worst kind of person because I suck these boys into my web, and then I make them give up their dreams until they're left sad and dreamless and living in Boston.
Audrey: Yeah, well, what about you? What about your dreams?
Joey: I have my dream. This is it.
Audrey: Well, you need to dream bigger.
Joey: Audrey...
Audrey: Right. Ok. First of all, you need to stop it with the circles 'cause you're making me nauseous. And secondly, if you felt this strongly about it, why didn't you just tell Charlie to go on the tour?
Joey: I tried. But he dropped this bombshell and then left.
Audrey: I suppose there was kissing involved.
Joey: I suppose.
Audrey: Ok. Well, I get it.
Joey: Get what?
Audrey: The problem. Face it, it'd be hard for any girl to look into those rock-hard abs and say, "Charlie, I'm sorry. "Think you could just get the hell out of town and never call me for the rest of my life?"
Joey: Audrey, that's not it. I don't want to hurt his feelings. I mean, how do you tell someone who's obviously into you that you're not...
Audrey: Into them?
Joey: I'm not ready to be anyone's girlfriend, and I certainly don't want anyone to change their life for me.
Audrey: You're sure that's what he's doing?
Joey: He says he wants to prove to me that he can be a person of substance.
Audrey: Oh. This is much worse than I'd imagined.
[Audrey falls back on her bed, and Joey looks at her, then just stares off into the distance thinking]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: The civilization. Alex is walking around talking to one of the waiters, and heading towards the kitchen]
Alex: Apologize for the mistake and offer a dessert with our compliments. [She goes into the kitchen] Ok, what's going on in here? We've got 3 tables waiting for their food.
[Pacey directs her out of the way of some of the waiters trying to get in and out of the kitchen]
Pacey: This is really not a great place for you to be standing. It's kind of a high-traffic area, so if there's something I can help you with...
Alex: I need to know how many lobsters we serve tonight. I think we're ordering too many from the vendor.
Pacey: We are, but Danny has a deal with the guy, so it's
Alex: Ah, ah. Changes, Pacey. Remember what I said about changes.
Pacey: Actually, it's funny that you should mention that because there is something that I wanna discuss with you. It's regarding one of the waitresses you fired today.
Alex: Yes, well, I fired a lot of waitresses today. You're gonna have to refresh my memory.
Pacey: She's young and blonde and
Alex: Ooh, my favorite combination.
Pacey: Look, she's actually a wonderful waitress, and if you gave her a chance, I'm sure that she would
Alex: Do you have some kind of special interest in her?
Pacey: Well, yeah. She is my girlfriend.
[One of the cooks knocks Alex into Pacey's Arms]
Alex: Oh, whoa.
[They uncomfortably pull apart from one another.]
Alex: Um, this is not the time to talk about this. Food, customers.
Pacey: Of course not. Right. Work. I understand.
Alex: But if you wanna come and see me later, that'd be fine.
Pacey: Sure.
[Scene: The Parking Garage. Dawson and Oliver are walking back to the jeep after leaving the meeting.]
Dawson: Oliver, do me a favor. Just tell me that you have no idea what you did in there, because I'm gonna look a whole lot more charitably on this whole fiasco if you just plead ignorance.
Oliver: Ok, so I got a little carried away.
Dawson: A little? Oliver, you're always doing this. You're always pretending that we're something we're not. What the hell's wrong with being what we are? We're amateurs.
Oliver: I was just trying to keep the conversation going. I didn't want there to be any sad, terrifying silences.
Dawson: Like the one that happened after you called the guy's movie a piece of crap?
Oliver: Ok, I could've been more diplomatic about that. Next time, I promise the full Hollywood brown-nose treatment.
Dawson: What next time? Oliver, that guy's never gonna meet with us again.
Oliver: Ok, Dawson, a little perspective, please? Andrew Waller is just the tip of the iceberg. There is a whole world of agencies out there just waiting to be introduced to the blinding brilliance of Chirchick and Leery.
Dawson: None of whom returned our letters or our phone calls.
Oliver: Yeah, but our film kicks serious ass, and the next one's gonna be even better. We are a great team, man. We're like the Cohen brothers or the Hughes brothers or the Wachowskis.
Dawson: Except we're not brothers.
Oliver: Yeah, I mean, no, of course not. I've never had a brother.
Dawson: We made one film together, Oliver. One film. And after today, I'm starting to think this whole partnership is just a bad idea.
Oliver: What? You wanna end the partnership?
Dawson: No. I just... look, I didn't walk into this meeting expecting it to be some miracle that would change my life forever, ok? But I wanted it to go better than that.
Oliver: Yeah, so did I, but it didn't. You know, I figure let's just go back to making movies, and then, when we get another chance
Dawson: Another ch--Oliver, this was our chance! That was our chance, and we blew it!
Oliver: Ok! Excuse me for trying to be a little optimistic about our future, you know. Wait a minute. What was that you said about us not having a future?
Oliver: I'm trying to be realistic here, and you're just being naive.
Dawson: Naive? I'm naive? Mr. "Let's drive all the way down to Florida to fulfill my romantic destiny"?
Oliver: This is different.
Dawson: Yeah, you bet it is. I'm gonna take the train back.
[Oliver grabs his bags and goes walking off, as Dawson can do nothing but shake his head in disbelief.]
[Scene: The Bar where Charlie's band is playing. Charlie is on stage with the band performing, while Audrey and Joey are watching. They go over and sit down at a table to continue watching the show.]
[Rock music plays]
Joey: This is so depressing. I can't even have a fling properly. We're so young. This was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to be carefree.
Audrey: And it will be as soon as you tell him how you feel. Dump him. Break his little heart. It's the only way to get that boy on the tour bus.
Joey: Well, how do I go about breaking one's heart?
Audrey: Oh, puh-lease. Like you've never done it before.
Joey: Not intentionally.
[Pacey comes up to join them.]
Pacey: Hey!
Audrey: Oh, hey, you made it.
Pacey: Yeah, finally.
Audrey: So, am I employed again, or what?
Pacey: I figured the dinner rush wasn't the best time to pop the question, but I promise you, you will get your job back tomorrow. Because when I need to be, I can be very charming and persuasive.
Audrey: Aw, my self-aggrandizing hero.
Joey: So what's she like, your new boss?
Pacey: The question isn't, what's she like? It's, what's she look like?
Joey: Bit of a hottie?
Audrey: As far as older women are concerned.
Pacey: Not that old.
Joey: How old?
Audrey: She is older than us. She's, whatever. Younger than grams.
[The band finishes their last song]
Charlie: Thank you, everybody. Good night! Oww!
[Cut back to the table]
Pacey: Ok, so tell me again what exactly we're doing here.
Audrey: We're lending moral support.
Joey: Charlie's band's going on tour.
Pacey: And so yet another sordid chapter in the love life of miss Joey Potter comes to an end.
Audrey: No. She said Charlie's band is going on tour, not Charlie. Charlie, it seems, has decided to stay.
Joey: For many reasons.
Audrey: But mainly for Joey. It seems the boy is quite smitten.
Pacey: Really? Not that I can say as I blame him.
Joey: Thank you.
Audrey: Oh, my god. Hey! That's it.
Joey: What's it? [Joey looks at her confused]
Audrey: Nothing. I got it. Just let me handle this, ok?
Pacey: Handle what?
[Charlie comes up and takes a seat at the table.]
Charlie: So congratulate me. The deed is done. Charlie Todd is no longer a member of aggressive mediocrity.
Audrey: And Audrey Liddell will no longer be made a fool of. And you call yourself my friend!
Joey: I am.
Audrey: Well, then, maybe you would like to explain to me why you have been sleeping with my boyfriend for the past 3 months!
Pacey: What?!
Joey: What?!
Audrey: Hey! Silence! Nobody cares what you have to say! This is between me and bambi eyes over here! Although I'm sure that Charlie probably has an opinion on the subject! Not that you care what he thinks.
Joey: I care!
Charlie: Ok, look, please could somebody tell me what's going on here?
Pacey: Yeah. Me, too.
Audrey: Yeah, tell them, home wrecker! Tell them how you still have certain feelings for Pacey! And now that you see the 2 of us together, you realize what a fantastic male specimen he is!
Joey: I wouldn't go that far, but...
Audrey: Yes! Yes, you would! In fact, if you had to, you would fight me for him!
Joey: I would? [Audrey gets up and hits her in the shoulder] Ow!
Audrey: Slut!
[They get into a fake cat fight]
Joey: Hussy!
Audrey: Ow! That really hurt!
Joey: No duh!
[Joey gets up and hits her back]
Audrey: Ow!
Joey: Ow!
Pacey: Come on, ladies. There's plenty of me
[Pacey gets up to stop them, and gets between them, but only manages to get them to hit him instead.]
Pacey: Ow! Ow! Ok! Chuck, could I get a hand here?
[Charlie grabs Joey from the fight, and Pacey grabs Audrey]
Charlie: Hey, hey, hey! Ok, I think that one right there needs medication.
Pacey: I think you'd find that they're both a little crazy.
Charlie: I have to say, I really don't get you guys. What is this, some sort of elaborate private joke?
Pacey: Oh, yes. It's elaborate, and it's private. It's just the joke part that I'm not too sure about. So, Lucy, Ethel... would you care to tell the young man what is going on here?! 'Cause I would, but I don't know where to start.
Joey: Just go. I'm fine.
Pacey: Ok.
[Pacey and Audrey leave them alone]
Charlie: Wow. So do you mind telling me what this is all about?
Joey: No, uh... I'm just not quite sure how.
Charlie: You and Pacey aren't really getting back together, are you?
Joey: No, we're not.
Charlie: So the purpose of this little piece of performance art was?
Joey: It was... to convince you... not to stay.
Charlie: Not to stay? Ok, so that would involve me leaving.
Joey: You have to go on this tour. If you don't, you'll regret it, and, Charlie, if you're staying because of me... don't.
Charlie: Wow. That's a hell of a lot to go through just to break up with a guy.
Joey: Would you have responded to anything less?
Charlie: Yeah. Probably not.
Joey: Can I ask you a question? If I weren't in the picture, would you have considered, even for a second, the possibility of not going on this tour?
Charlie: No.
Joey: Are you starting to see my point?
Charlie: You know, this doesn't... this doesn't feel too good, does it?
Joey: No, but... neither does missing the greatest opportunity of your life just because some girl asked you to.
Charlie: Yeah, but you didn't ask me to, did you? [He sees her lack of reaction] Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Outside the Agent's Office. Dawson is sitting at the bottom of the stairs waiting when Andrew comes walking down the stairs and sees him.]
Andrew: Geez, man. What the hell are you doing here? You know what time it is?
Dawson: I stopped checking my watch hours ago.
Andrew: You're crazier than the other one, aren't you?
Dawson: Maybe even crazier, because I've got something to say, and I'm not gonna leave until I say it.
Andrew: I'm listening.
Dawson: Give us another chance.
Andrew: Is that it? That's what you wanted to say? You waited 5 hours to ask for another chance?
Dawson: Look, I know we might not seem like we're the greatest risk right now, but that's what you do, right? You take chances on people. You bet on which ones are gonna be a success. Well, I'm telling you, bet on us. I want this like I've never wanted anything. It's been the hardest year of my life, and I've screwed a lot of things up, but I'm not gonna screw this up.
Andrew: What are you? You're like 19, 20?
Dawson: 19.
Andrew: And life really feels this desperate?
Dawson: Life is desperate. Life is chances that you never get back, which is why I've been waiting here for so long. It's why I'm not gonna leave until you at least agree to take a look at our next project.
Andrew: You're not faking it, are you? The desperation, the anguish, the youthful torment?
Dawson: God, I wish I was.
Andrew: Well, don't. It's good stuff, all that teenage crap. It's one thing you can't fake as you get older. Very marketable, too.
Dawson: So you're saying...
Andrew: I'm saying send me your next project. And in the meantime, I can make a few phone calls, put some feelers out, see who I can get to look at the film. I can't promise you anything, but...
Dawson: Understood.
Andrew: Then I guess we have a deal.
[Scene: Joey and Audrey's Dorm room. Joey and Audrey are sleeping when they are awakened by music coming from the window.]
Audrey: Um, what is that?
Joey: I'm checking.
Audrey: It sounds like a cat dying.
Joey: I think it is music.
[They both get up and walk to the window to see that Charlie is outside playing his guitar, and singing.]
Audrey: Could he be any cuter?
Joey: No, but he could be more in tune.
Audrey: Come on. This is so romantic. It's like that movie. It's like you make him want to be a better man.
Joey: Wouldn't it be better for society if I made him want to be a better guitar player?
Audrey: Ok, it is official. You are the queen of negativity. There'll be a crowning ceremony later in the day. Go. Go out there.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Joey: You're gonna wake the whole campus, you know?
Charlie: Well, you know, I'm just trying to make a little money, expenses for the tour.
Joey: So you're just busking for some change?
Charlie: Yeah.
Joey: Interesting choice of locations.
Charlie: You know, I thought you might find it odd.
Joey: So then you're definitely going.
Charlie: On the tour? Yep.
Joey: I'm glad.
Charlie: I figured you would be. You know, I may never be as smart as you, but I will be a person of substance, and on that day, I just may have to come looking for you.
Joey: I'd like that.
Charlie: You wouldn't slam the door in my face?
Joey: No. Because this has never been about you being insubstantial. It's been about you making a major decision about your life based on...
Charlie: On you.
Joey: I was going to say a whirlwind romance.
Charlie: Yeah, but sometimes those are the best kind. Infatuation, mystery, the thrill of the chase. These are very powerful things.
Joey: But they're not real, and they don't last, and you can't build your life on them.
[He kisses her]
Charlie: Well, I had a good time.
Joey: Me, too.
Charlie: So I guess this is it. I guess I'll just go, disappear into the sunset.
Joey: Sunrise.
[Laughing] Whatever.
Joey: You take care of yourself, Charlie.
Charlie: I will.
[He turns and leaves as Joey watches him disappear into the distance]
Charlie: Ohh.
[Scene: The Civilization. Pacey is finishing cleaning up, and then goes over to Alex's Office door and knocks on it.]
Alex: Yeah?
Pacey: Alex, hey. I'm sorry to disturb you.
Alex: Pacey, I thought everyone had gone home.
Pacey: Well, everybody else did, but I was kind of hoping that you and I could finish that conversation we started earlier.
Alex: Oh, remind me. What was that about again?
Pacey: The girl that you fired-- Audrey?
Alex: Oh, yes. I think I remember her now. Last hired, first fired.
Pacey: So I guess that means the new regime governs by adage?
Alex: Technique I picked up in business school. Hey, will you help me hang this up?
[She hands him a framed degree.]
Pacey: Of course.
Alex: Actually, you know what? I shouldn't do that. Bad luck to put something on the walls before you know if you're gonna be sticking around. In this economy, everything is temporary.
Pacey: Which is precisely why I would really appreciate it if you could just give Audrey one more chance.
Alex: Audrey, your girlfriend.
Pacey: Yes.
Alex: How old are you, Pacey?
Pacey: 19.
Alex: You seem older.
Pacey: Well, I'm not.
Alex: Isn't that a little young to be settling down?
Pacey: I don't know exactly how settled we are.
Alex: But you are together?
Pacey: Yeah, definitely.
Alex: That's all I mean by settling. A shame, really. There are no adorable single men left in this town.
Pacey: Guess not, but, look, about Audrey.
Alex: Yeah. I think we might be able to work something out.
Pacey: Great.
Alex: I mean, we both want the same thing, don't we?
[She kisses him]
Pacey: Um... no. I don't think that we do. I'm sorry, but we must have gotten our wires crossed there somewhere.
Alex: Did we? It didn't feel that way to me.
Pacey: Yes, we most definitely did. Look, it's late. I think I should be going.
Alex: Are you sure about that?
Pacey: I think that I should leave, Alex.
Alex: Your decision.
[He turns and leaves]
[Scene: Outside Grams' House. It is night, and Dawson is coming out of the house alone, and he closes the door and begins to walk down the sidewalk when Joey comes walking up from behind him.]
Joey: Hey, not so fast, stranger.
Dawson: Hey, I was just heading out to get some food.
Joey: No food chez grams? Must be a sign of the apocalypse.
Dawson: She's a little preoccupied.
Joey: Oh, right--Mr. Smalls. Guess love does funny things to people.
Dawson: Yes, it does. So what brings you around?
Joey: Duh. I came by to see how your meeting went.
Dawson: Right.
Joey: Did it go as well as you hoped it would?
Dawson: Let's just say it started out badly, but it ended well.
Joey: How well?
Dawson: I think I may have an agent.
Joey: Nice. Better than nice. Congratulations. It's a dream come true.
[She hugs him]
Dawson: Almost.
Joey: That food you were going to get wouldn't happen to be something in the pizza family, would it?
Dawson: Vaguely.
Joey: Wouldn't happen to want some company?
[They start walking away from the house]
Dawson: I would love some. So what happened the last couple of days? I miss anything?
Joey: Um...the usual. You know, broke a few hearts, started a few barroom brawls.
Dawson: The usual...
Joey: Yeah, something like that.
[the walk off into the distance, then fade to black]
|
Plan: A: a tour; Q: What does Charlie's band get a deal for? A: college; Q: What does Joey not want to leave? A: the middle; Q: What part of the semester does Joey not want to leave? A: the band; Q: What does Charlie quit? A: Oliver; Q: Who ruins the meeting with the agent? A: NY; Q: Where do Dawson and Oliver meet with an agent? A: their partnership; Q: What does Dawson threaten to end? A: another chance; Q: What does Oliver beg for? A: Pacey; Q: Who does Alex Pearl promote to head chef? A: Alex Pearl; Q: Who is the new manager of the restaurant? A: Audrey; Q: Who does Alex fire? A: a kiss; Q: What does Pacey get from Alex? Summary: Charlie's band lands a deal for a tour and he asks Joey to go with him, but she doesn't want to leave college in the middle of the semester. Charlie then decides to quit the band and stay with her, which freaks Joey, who thinks they're jumping too many steps. She breaks up with him so he can go with his band on tour. Meanwhile, Oliver and Dawson finally get to NY to meet with an agent, but Oliver ruins the meeting. Dawson threatens to end their partnership but Oliver begs for another chance. Pacey meets the nasty new manager of the restaurant, Alex Pearl. She promotes Pacey to head chef but fires Audrey. Pacey tries to get Audrey her job back, but all he gets is a kiss from Alex.
|
OPEN AT LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai walks downstairs and opens the front door to pick up the newspaper. A cat is sitting on the porch. Lorelai goes to the phone and dials.]
RORY: Hello?
LORELAI: They know.
RORY:Who knows?
LORELAI: The cats -- they know that I've broken up with Jason and that I'm alone and they've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady.
RORY: What are you talking about?
LORELAI: There's a cat on my doorstep.
RORY: Well, that's better than a bun in your oven.
LORELAI: It's just sitting there, staring at me, like he knew this moment was coming. It's still there. Why is it still there?
RORY: Mom, it's a stray. It's passing through. It's hanging out. Relax. Move away from the window and go back to bed.
LORELAI: It's not fair. We just broke up. It just happened. I'm still young. It's still possible that I'm gonna have a successful relationship. You don't know. My eggs are still viable.
RORY: Are you yelling at me or the cat?
LORELAI: The cat. I think he flipped me off with his tail. I'm Babette.
RORY: Babette's not single.
LORELAI: Whose side are you on? Circle the wagons.
RORY: Sorry.
LORELAI: Everyone knows. They can see it in my face. "She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. She picked the wrong guy again." [to cat] Hey, do not lick yourself in front of me.
RORY: Mom, I need you to get a grip. You're tired, you're stressed out, and you're not seeing things clearly.
LORELAI: Oh, my God!
RORY: What?
LORELAI: There are two of them. They're not even easing me into this, those bastards. I give up. I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines, find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth.
RORY: Well, obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you, so I'm gonna let you go.
LORELAI: Yarn balls. I need to find some yarn balls.
RORY: Bye.
[Lorelai opens the front door.]
LORELAI: [to cats] Hey, I am a young, desirable woman.
CUT TO LORELAI'S BEDROOM
[Lorelai is asleep. She wakes up and dials the phone.]
LORELAI: Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve. [Tries to go back to sleep but dials the phone again.] Um...Sylvie, horse feed. Jackson, garden stone. Sookie, too much salt in gazpacho. [Sighs] Oh, boy.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Luke is taking chairs off the tables when he sees Lorelai sitting outside the diner waiting for him to open.]
LUKE: What are you doing?
LORELAI: I need coffee.
LUKE: It's 5:00 in the morning. Make coffee at your own house.
LORELAI: I did. I drank it all.
LUKE: You drank all the coffee in your house before five in the morning?
LORELAI: Big gulps, lots of sugar.
LUKE: Alright, get up. [Pulls her up and takes her inside.]
LORELAI: And just a little bit of cream 'cause it makes it cold.
LUKE: Keep moving.
LORELAI: [ Sighs ] I can't sleep. I can't turn my mind off. It keeps running and thinking and making lists.
LUKE: Maybe if you drank a little less coffee, you'd make a little less lists.
LORELAI: Oh, I can't stop drinking the coffee. I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking and the words putting-into-sentence doing.
LUKE: I'll make you some coffee.
LORELAI: [ Sighs deeply ] If I could move, I would hug you. In fact, in my mind, I am hugging you, and also, I'm telling the plumbers that there's no water pressure in rooms 10, 12, and 15.
LUKE: I'm making you some oatmeal.
LORELAI: I don't like oatmeal.
LUKE: You've got to eat something healthy.
LORELAI: Oh, man, I'm so completely stressed. I can't remember what I'm doing from one moment to the next. It's never gonna get done.
LUKE: It will get done.
LORELAI: No, it won't get done, and the inn won't open, and then I'll go broke. How do you do it?
LUKE: Do what? Go broke?
LORELAI: No -- run this place, handle all the stress?
LUKE: The place isn't stressful.
LORELAI: It's not?
LUKE: Well, actually, at this moment, it is a little.
LORELAI: Ohhh. Maybe I can't handle it. Do you think I can handle it?
LUKE: I already told you you could handle it.
LORELAI: When?
LUKE: Quite a while ago.
LORELAI: Did I believe you?
LUKE: Apparently, you didn't even listen to me.
LORELAI: Oh, hey. I want you to take a tour of the inn.
LUKE: Why don't I just wait till the place is repossessed? Then I can see it at public auction.
LORELAI: How can you be so mean to me when I only managed to line one of my eyes?
LUKE: I apologize.
LORELAI: Seriously, I want to give you an official investors tour. You should see the place. It's looking really good.
LUKE: I heard the water pressure sucks in rooms 10, 12, and 15.
LORELAI: What do you say?
LUKE: You eat the oatmeal, I'll take the tour.
LORELAI: Fine, I'll eat it. But I'm making a face the entire time.
LUKE: Looking forward to it.
[Kirk walks in.]
LORELAI: Oh, hey, Kirk. [Kirk stands beside Lorelai's table.] Something wrong?
KIRK: I wanted to sit there.
LORELAI: Seriously?
KIRK: Of course seriously. Why do you think I'm here this early? I wanted to get that table.
LORELAI: Every single other table in here is empty.
KIRK: Except the one I want.
LORELAI: [Sighs] Fine. [Gets up to move.]
KIRK: You have to understand that on days when Lulu is working, I have very little in my life.
LORELAI: I know, Kirk.
KIRK: This table is a small thing, but it makes me happy. It gives me a sense of power over my life, a little control in a world where very little is controllable.
LORELAI: Kirk.
KIRK: What?
LORELAI: I moved. Your table's free.
KIRK: Oh. Well...thanks.
LORELAI: You're welcome.
KIRK: Boy, the light over here is excellent.
CUT TO DRAGONFLY INN
[Michel sits on the floor of the lobby.]
MICHEL: Is this your voice?
LORELAI: [on answering machine] Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve.
LORELAI: [present] Yes, that's my voice. I left myself a couple of messages last night.
MICHEL: You left yourself 25 messages last night, and the funny thing is, you didn't listen to any of the messages. I listened to the messages.
LORELAI: Just hand them to me, please.
MICHEL: Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder.
LORELAI: Got a solution for you, Michel.
MICHEL: And when is the desk coming? I don't find the whole conducting-business-on-the-floor thing amusing anymore! I want a desk and a chair and a bell. Where the hell is my bell?!
[Luke walks in.]
LUKE: Hey.
LORELAI: Hi. You came by.
LUKE: You told me I had to.
LORELAI: I'm so glad you're here.
LUKE: Wow. The staircase is beautiful. Hey, Tom.
TOM: Luke.
LUKE: Yeah, nice work here. But you used glue. I thought with a banister --
TOM: Oh, are you gonna kibitz?
LUKE: What?
TOM: Guys who know a little about construction -- they build a birdbath, install a towel bar -- makes them think they know something, so they come in, they kibitz, offer a lot of free advice on things they don't know anything about. I got a low tolerance for that right now.
LUKE: I'm not gonna kibitz.
TOM: Okay. And stop touching my banister.
LORELAI: He won't let me touch the banister either. Hey, you want to see the kitchen? The stove is a thing of beauty. We're thinking of just ordering out for everything so we never have to use it.
LUKE: Great idea. And I wasn't gonna kibitz.
[Lorelai and Luke walk into the kitchen where Sookie is talking to a man.]
SOOKIE: Exciting, isn't it? [ Laughs ] Ohh. Lorelai, great. I've been looking for you. Hi, Luke.
LUKE: Hey, Sookie. Nice kitchen. Did you use the original tiles?
SOOKIE: I don't know. Ask Tom.
LUKE: Never mind.
LORELAI: What's up?
SOOKIE: Lorelai, I would like to introduce you to Shel Sausman. Shel, this is Lorelai Gilmore.
SHEL: It is really nice to meet you.
LORELAI: Well, it's nice to meet you, too.
SOOKIE: Shel is going to be our poultry supplier.
LORELAI: Oh, that's great.
SOOKIE: He sells only free-range, hormone-free, and he's recently divorced.
LORELAI: Oh, well, I assume that one doesn't have anything to do with the other.
SHEL: [ Chuckles ] You're funny. She's funny. You know, they say pretty women usually aren't funny because they never had to be. Were you a fat child?
SOOKIE: Um...I'm gonna go out and check with Michel on something, and you guys just talk till I get back.
LORELAI: Hey, uh, what do you need to talk to Michel about?
SOOKIE: Tablecloth supplies.
LORELAI: I can do that.
SOOKIE: Michel likes me better. Talk! Just talk!
SHEL: Listen, Lorelai --
LORELAI: Shel, have you met Luke? Hey, Luke...Get up! Uh, Shel, this is Luke.
SHEL: Nice to meet you.
LUKE: Yeah, you too.
LORELAI: Luke is my...special friend.
SHEL: Oh?
LORELAI: I have to tell you, renovating this place has been a real nightmare. I just don't know how I would have gotten through it without him. [Lorelai leans against Luke and forces him to put his arm around her waist.] Have I said thank you to you recently?
LUKE: Uh...no.
LORELAI: Oh. Well, thank you.
LUKE: You're welcome.
SHEL: Well, it was nice meeting you both. I'm just gonna go say goodbye to Sookie.
LORELAI: Oh. Bye, Shel.
LUKE: Bye, Shel.
LORELAI: [shoves Luke's arm away.] Don't touch my stomach.
LUKE: You put my hand there.
LORELAI: She's trying to set me up with Shel, the poultry guy? Why would she do that? I just broke up with someone.
LUKE: Yeah.
LORELAI: We'd been dating for a few months now.
LUKE: I figured there was someone in the picture.
LORELAI: You did? How?
LUKE: Just clues. You know, you never dressed weather-appropriate, that kind of thing.
LORELAI: Well I can bundle on up now.
LUKE: I'm sorry.
LORELAI: Cats came to my house today.
LUKE: Really.
LORELAI: Because they know I'm a loser and I'm destined to be alone.
LUKE: You're not destined to be alone. You have Shel.
LORELAI: Why is it so hard?
LUKE: What, relationships? Look who you're asking.
LORELAI: At least you got married.
LUKE: At least you had a kid.
LORELAI: It makes me sad sometimes. Does it make you sad?
LUKE: I don't know. Maybe.
LORELAI: Mm-hm. I see Dr. Phil books in our future.
LUKE: Unless they stock them at Home Depot, they're not likely to cross my path.
LORELAI: All this sad talk is putting a serious damper on my stressing.
LUKE: The place is great.
LORELAI: Do you think I can do this?
LUKE: I already told you you can do this, and I already told you that I already told you you can do this.
LORELAI: You're making me long for Shel.
LUKE: You'd never want for chicken.
LORELAI: Hmm.
CUT TO YALE -- ASHER FLEMING'S CLASSROOM
[Rory sits in class listening to the discussion.]
STUDENT: Isn't political writing just another form of propaganda?
ASHER: Absolutely not. Political writing confronts your assumptions.
STUDENT: Propaganda can do that.
[Paris appears in the doorway and waves to get Rory's attention.]
ASHER: No, it cannot. Propaganda merely reinforces what that person wishes to be told.
STUDENT: That means the definition is determined by the audience.
ASHER: That's one way of looking at it, yes.
STUDENT: You can't do that. You can't define literature in terms of the audience.
ASHER: Far be it from me to expect reason and common sense to triumph above youthful omniscience, so for today, we shall stop until next week.
[Most of the students gather their books and start leaving the classroom. A few stop in the front of the room to talk to Asher. Paris comes in.]
PARIS: Rory, hi.
RORY: Stop it.
PARIS: You know, I thought I would do some laundry tonight, and I don't quite have a full load of whites, so if you have some whites, toss them in.
RORY: I don't want to be your beard anymore, Paris. Why don't you just go talk to Asher?
PARIS: I don't take his class. People will get suspicious. [looks at Asher, who is still busy with students] Jeez. What, is he taking confession or something? [Rory turns to leave the room.] You can't go.
RORY: Paris, come on. You know, I'm not gonna be in this class forever, which means next year you're gonna have to find some other idiot to stand here until the coast is clear.
PARIS: That's alright. It's all going to be coming out eventually. Asher asked me to go to Oxford with him this summer.
RORY: Oxford? Really? Oxford? That's -- wow. Oxford.
PARIS: Yep.
RORY: So, this is really getting serious.
PARIS: Well there's now travel involved and as soon as news of the trip gets around, then I guess the secret is out.
RORY: I guess so.
PARIS: [sees Asher leaving] Oh, crap. Pretend you have to see him in his office.
RORY: No!
PARIS: You were confused on the last point he made.
RORY: No.
PARIS: You were gonna ask him after class, but Toby from "American Splendor" wouldn't stop yapping and you couldn't.
RORY: I feel my mouth moving, something's coming out and yet --
PARIS: Walk faster. We'll miss him.
CUT TO STARS HOLLOW BOOK
[Luke pulls several audio books off the shelves and puts them under his arm.]
ANDREW: Did you find what you need?
LUKE: Oh, yeah. Fine. [Andrew reaches for the books] What are you doing?
ANDREW: I have to ring them up.
LUKE: I'll just tell you the prices. This one is $24.99.
ANDREW: That high?
LUKE: They're your prices.
ANDREW: Can I just see the book?
LUKE: I'm reading you the book. It says right here. [looks at the price again] Oh, wait -- that's the Canadian price. $14.99.
ANDREW: Will you just let me scan the book?
LUKE: When you scan the book, do you see the title?
ANDREW: Yes.
LUKE: Then no.
ANDREW: Luke, come on. What do you got there, p0rn?
LUKE: You sell p0rn?
ANDREW: No!
LUKE: You think I brought my own p0rn in here to buy?
ANDREW: I don't know what you're doing. I just need to scan the books.
LUKE: [hands Andrew some money] This should cover it.
ANDREW: A hundred bucks? That's way too much.
LUKE: Take it. [leaves but comes back to the counter] Bag.
CUT TO LUKE'S APARTMENT
[Luke enters the apartment, locks the door behind him, and gets out a cassette player. He puts one of the tapes he just bought in it.]
MAN ON CASSETTE: Love!
LUKE: Jeez!
MAN ON CASSETTE: You want it? You can have it. And not compromised, stifling, soul-killing love, but open, honest, life-affirming love. But how do you get it? How do you get this love?
LUKE: If I knew that, what the hell would I need you for?
MAN ON CASSETTE: It's going to take work. It's going to take introspection. You're gonna have to learn new things -- how to be your own best friend, how to treat your damaged psyche with a little kindness, how to say, "hey, pal, you're worth it. You mean something to someone, and you deserve love." That is the key. If you crave love, then you deserve love. Say that to yourself. If I crave love, I deserve love. [Luke sighs deeply.] Now, how did that feel coming out? I'll bet it was hard. I'll bet you felt ridiculous. Some of you may even have been incapable of saying it at all. Try again.
LUKE: I'm not incapable. I just haven't been hit in the head with the Oprah stick lately.
MAN ON CASSETTE: Trust me, my friend -- it will get easier, until one day, you turn around, and you are not alone. Ready to begin the journey? It's going to be one hell of a ride. Okay, let's go. Open up your workbook to page one.
LUKE: [opens his workbook] It doesn't get lower than this.
CUT TO DRAGONFLY INN
LORELAI: You know Dean, we appreciate you working late all this week.
DEAN: Hey, I appreciate the extra cash. [starts to hang a picture] Oh. Uh...the wire snapped. I can fix it.
SOOKIE: [ Gasps ] He's like a superhero.
LORELAI: He's like Super Mr. Fix-it man.
SOOKIE: We'll work on a name.
LORELAI: Your tool belt would glow.
DEAN: I can't wait. [leaves to fix the wire]
SOOKIE: Hey, what did you think of the onion soup I made today?
LORELAI: Oh, it was good.
SOOKIE: Good enough for the opening?
LORELAI: No, no, no -- we have to serve your critically acclaimed zucchini soup for the opening.
SOOKIE: I know, but Jackson has some concerns about the zucchini crop, so I want to have a backup.
LORELAI: No, Sookie. We've got to serve the zucchini soup. People are expecting it. The zucchini have got to be there.
SOOKIE: Well then, I'll just tell Jackson he has to have them.
[Sookie and Lorelai turn as they hear Lindsay and Dean arguing in the next room.]
LINDSAY: Dean, come on.
DEAN: Lindsay, I'm working.
LINDSAY: Are you? Well, how shocking.
DEAN: What do you want me to do?
LINDSAY: We're supposed to go out with Erika and David tonight.
DEAN: I can't!
LINDSAY: So why would you say you could?!
DEAN: Lindsay, I told you, if there was a chance for some extra hours --
LINDSAY: Oh, come on!
DEAN: -- that I was gonna take it.
LINDSAY: We never do anything, Dean.
DEAN: We need money! God! You know that, Lindsay!
LINDSAY: You are so incredibly selfish. You never think about me -- never.
DEAN: You want a town house? You want a new car? We need money to pay for these things.
LINDSAY: I sit at home all day waiting for you. You never call during the day, like you always promise you will.
DEAN: God, Lindsay!
LINDSAY: I'm bored, Dean. Don't you care about that? I want to go out with my husband. Hello! We're married here!
DEAN: Well, I'll be done in a couple of hours. If you want to--
LINDSAY: I'm going out with Erika and David.
DEAN: Fine. Go. When will you be home?
LINDSAY: When I get home.
DEAN: That's nice, Lindsay. That's real nice.
LINDSAY: Whatever, Dean.
CUT TO STARS HOLLOW STREET
[Luke is in his truck listening to his self-help tapes. He stops the truck but continues listening.]
MAN ON CASSETTE: Complete the following sentence -- I feel angry because...
LUKE: I am listening to this tape.
MAN ON CASSETTE: I feel hopeful because...
LUKE: This tape must end eventually.
MAN ON CASSETTE: I feel helpless because...
LUKE: I wonder if anyone's ever kicked an audiotape's ass. [Liz runs up to the truck and knocks on his window. T.J. is with her.] Jeez. Hold on. [Luke stops the tape and gets out of the truck.] What are you doing here?
LIZ: Look how happy he is to see me.
LUKE: I just didn't expect it, that's all.
LIZ: Oh, my brother. You remember T.J., right?
T.J.: I'm still here.
LUKE: How you doin', T.J.?
T.J.: How am I doing? Huh. Lizzie, I don't know. How am I doing?
LIZ: He's doing great! 'Cause we're getting married.
LUKE: Married? Really?
LIZ: And we're doing it right here next week.
LUKE: Wow, that's fast.
LIZ: I know but we wanted to do it before the circuit got going so all our friends could come. It gonna be so beautiful. Wait till you see.
T.J.: You ever been to a Renaissance wedding?
LUKE: No, I haven't.
T.J.: Oh, it's great -- horses, costumes, really big turkey legs. You're gonna love it.
LUKE: Okay, you gotta slow down here.
LIZ: No way. You slow down and you die.
LUKE: When did this happen?
LIZ: Last week. T.J. asked me, I said yes, we made a few phone calls, and here we are, grabbing life by the ping-pongs, as T.J. says.
T.J.: Hey, there's gonna be a bachelor party, too. My brother's coming down, got a couple of friends dropping in. It's going to be a blast. You have to go.
LUKE: Oh, sure, if you want me to.
T.J.: Want you to? Of course I want you to. What are you talking about? I want you to be my best man also.
LUKE: You're kidding.
T.J.: Of course I am. You'd be like 800th on the list. But you can come to the bachelor party if you want.
LIZ: Are you happy for me? Say you're happy for me.
LUKE: Sure, I'm happy for you. Of course I'll go to your bachelor party.
T.J.: Good. Keeping up appearances that we like each other -- very classy for the wedding.
LUKE: T.J., come on.
T.J.: Okay, I'm going to get some beer. [He walks away. Liz and Luke start walking towards the diner.]
LUKE: Where's he going? He doesn't know where to go.
LIZ: He's got a nose for these things. Oh, wait till you see this wedding. Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. I'm wearing a white dress...
LUKE: That is unbelievable.
LIZ: Oh, stop it. It's about a zillion years old with flowing sleeves. I'm like Vanessa Redgrave in "Camelot." Seriously, I love myself in this dress.
LUKE: Sounds like a good dress.
LIZ: I'm so excited. I'm getting married...again.
LUKE: So, how are you gonna do this so quickly?
LIZ: Well, we're gonna have the ceremony right out there in the square. We've got our Renaissance Fair buds all pitching in. We got the Scotch-egg guy to cater it and T.J.'s gonna write the vows. You won't have to do a thing.
LUKE: Oh, sure.
LIZ: I swear -- everything's taken care of. Carrie's gonna be my maid of honor.
LUKE: Terrific.
LIZ: She's a good friend.
LUKE: To one and all. So, does Jess know?
LIZ: He knows.
LUKE: Did he take it well?
LIZ: Took it like Jess.
LUKE: Meaning?
LIZ: He's not coming.
LUKE: Why not?
LIZ: He's young, he's busy.
LUKE: Busy doing what?
LIZ: I don't know. It's okay. I just thought -- but it's no biggie. I mean, hey, I got you there, right?
LUKE: Yeah, you do.
LIZ: Are you gonna dress up?
LUKE: Absolutely.
LIZ: As a minstrel?
LUKE: Sure. Who's the guy who jumps around in bells and a pointy hat?
LIZ: The court jester.
LUKE: Yes, the court jester. I will come as a court jester.
LIZ: You're a good brother. You got any of that terrible peach pie you make? I'm starving.
CUT TO GILMORE HOUSE
[Lorelai places a pizza on a candy-filled coffee table as Rory walks in the front door.]
RORY: Hello.
LORELAI: Did you bring the Nutter Butters?
RORY: Well, I'm fine, Mother. I missed you, too.
LORELAI: Ah, we have achieved culinary perfection.
RORY: What's with the carrots?
LORELAI: I was afraid you weren't eating right at school.
RORY: Ah.
LORELAI: Marshmallow?
RORY: Thank you. Oh, man, I've missed Al's Chinese night.
LORELAI: Oh, he's got a new thing now -- chicken chow mein sandwich.
RORY: Oh, Al.
LORELAI: Oh, Al.
RORY: So what exactly was Grandma's excuse for canceling Friday night dinner?
LORELAI: That Dad was traveling and she had a function.
RORY: It was that generic?
LORELAI: She put no thought into it, and it was muffled, but at the end of the call, I do believe I heard a knock and someone yelling, "turndown service."
RORY: Living in a hotel.
LORELAI: And hiding it.
RORY: Poor Grandma. We should talk to them.
LORELAI: "We"?
RORY: Well, you. I'm a child.
LORELAI: Talking is not my parents' thing. It would humiliate them if they knew that we knew that they are...whatever they are.
RORY: So, we do nothing?
LORELAI: I guess we wait until one of them cracks.
RORY: Okay. Man, how many tapes are we watching tonight?
LORELAI: Well, every time I started watching something that I thought you would like, I stopped watching it and I saved it for when we could watch it together, so I watched the first 10 minutes of 12 movies.
RORY: So which one are we gonna watch?
LORELAI: Mmm...the absolute funniest movie known to man -- "Fatso."
RORY: I'm loving the title.
LORELAI: Anne Bancroft wrote and directed it.
RORY: Well, Annie Sullivan, look at you go. So how's everything at the inn coming along?
LORELAI: Everyone's freaking out because I got a million things to do, but we finally got the pictures up, and the beds were delivered today. Oh, I forgot -- a little bit of gossip.
RORY: Oh. What?
LORELAI: No, it's not fun gossip.
RORY: What? What?
LORELAI: Well, Sookie and I overheard Dean and Lindsay having a major fight. It was ugly.
RORY: Really? About what?
LORELAI: Well, she was mad because he was working late to make some extra cash, and she wanted to go out, and it got heated and vicious, and the whole thing ended with a "Whatever, Dean."
RORY: That sounds bad.
LORELAI: It wasn't good.
RORY: Maybe they'll make up.
LORELAI: I hope so.
RORY: Yeah, me too.
THE MOVIE: Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat!
RORY: This is the greatest thing I've ever seen.
LORELAI: Kiss for Mommy.
THE MOVIE: Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat!
CUT TO HALLWAY
[Luke walks up to apartment F and knocks on the door. Jess opens it.]
LUKE: Hey, neighbor, the guys next door just ran out of crack to sell, so they sent me over to borrow a cup. Hey, nice place. You put those holes there yourself?
JESS: What are you doing here?
LUKE: Just wanted to see how you were doing.
JESS: Doing great.
LUKE: Great, you're doing great. Wow, you're doing great. I'm not doing great, and I have running water.
JESS: The place is fine.
LUKE: Fine. Not great? What happened to great?
JESS: All this and no housewarming gift.
LUKE: Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I just thought you were going absolutely nowhere with your life. Glad I'm wrong. Hey, which filthy mattress is yours?
JESS: Right there.
LUKE: Oh. Well, you got the good corner, with a view of the mold.
JESS: Yeah, I won the toss. Now, if you don't mind, I've got places to be.
LUKE: Let's get down to it. Liz told me you weren't coming to the wedding.
JESS: No way you're here about that.
LUKE: I am here about that.
JESS: Why?
LUKE: Why? Your mother's getting married, and you're not coming.
JESS: No biggie. I'll just catch the next one.
LUKE: Jess, this guy is different.
JESS: Come on.
LUKE: Well he could be different. He seems different.
JESS: Jeez, man.
LUKE: I've seen him with Liz. They seem to work. We need to support this thing to give it a chance.
JESS: No, we don't.
LUKE: You are gonna regret this.
JESS: I doubt it.
LUKE: No, you are. If you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together and drop this selfish self-destructive behavior that you are so fond of, if that ever happens, you are gonna look back on this moment and you are gonna feel like a big steaming mound of crap that you missed this. This could have been a turning point. You could have witnessed something good for your mother who, yes, has screwed up a bit in her life but now seems to have found something to make her happy, and you miss that, you refuse to be a part of that, you are gonna be very sorry. [Beeping] What, are you a drug dealer now?
JESS: I'm a messenger. I gotta go. Hey, Todd, it's 4:00.
LUKE: You owe me. I was there for you when no one else was, and I want you there...and you owe me.
JESS: I gotta go.
LUKE: So do I. I'm going first. [Storms out the door.]
JESS: Hey, Todd. [Follows Luke out.]
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Luke is on the phone when Lorelai walks in.]
LUKE: No, Roy, I know what I'm talking about. I'm looking for stalks of wheat, not processed wheat, stalks. That's putting it another way. I need bare-ass stalks. [to customer] Sorry. [to Roy] I know you can't eat it like that. I just need it for decoration. No, I'm not going poofy on you, damn it! [to another customer] Sorry. [to Roy] I just need to know whether you have it or not. No? Okay, whatever. Thanks. [hangs up] Is there no wheat left in this country? What happened to Kansas? Isn't Kansas lousy with wheat?
LORELAI: I do recall Toto running through fields of it. Coffee to go, please.
LUKE: That I can get.
LORELAI: Why do you need wheat?
LUKE: Liz's wedding.
LORELAI: Liz is getting married?
LUKE: She and T.J.
LORELAI: Did I know this?
LUKE: I guess not.
LORELAI: In New York?
LUKE: Here in the square, a Renaissance thing.
LORELAI: Could I be a little more behind?
LUKE: I got sucked in, just like always. First day, their cellphone died, so I let them use the phone. Then I offered to make the call 'cause I happened to know the person they were calling, and I had to go pick something up because I couldn't find T.J. to do it. And kapow, I'm hunting down wheat stalks and looking for local pewter craftsmen. Do you have any idea where I can find myrtle?
LORELAI: Did you check the bingo parlor?
LUKE: The plant.
LORELAI: Hey, don't add stuff from your to-do list to my to-do list.
LUKE: Sorry. Here's your coffee.
LORELAI: Thank you. So, I can't believe I didn't know about this wedding. I'm caught up on everything now, right?
LUKE: I'd say so.
[Jess walks in and heads for the stairs.]
JESS: I'm not paying for a motel, so I'm staying with you.
LORELAI: Liar!
LUKE: I wasn't sure he was coming. I went to see him in New York.
LORELAI: You went to New York? I needed things picked up in New York.
LUKE: Hey, don't add stuff from your to-do list to my to-do list.
LORELAI: Sorry.
LUKE: It's okay.
LORELAI: I should go. Hey, do you know that if the entire population of China walked by, the line would never end because of the rate of population increase?
LUKE: No, I didn't.
LORELAI: That's my list -- every Chinese person in the world.
LUKE: Scary.
LORELAI: Scary.
CUT TO YALE
[Glenn sits on the back of a couch talking to a girl.]
GLENN: What do you think? Friday night good?
GIRL: I'm busy, Glenn.
GLENN: You're never busy on Friday nights. You always eat dinner early on Fridays and watch TV and go to bed around 10:30.
GIRL: You're spying on me?! [Gets up and walks away.]
GLENN: Close your blinds if you're gonna be so sensitive.
[Rory walks by, her cell phone ringing.]
RORY: Hello? Paris, slow down. Where are you? Stop saying "the hospital." There are tons of hospitals. Which hospital?
CUT TO LUKE'S APARTMENT
JESS: Ah, you're here.
LUKE: I do show up occasionally.
JESS: The place looks the same. Is that your dinner?
LUKE: Couldn't book my usual table at Le Cirque.
JESS: Right. I wasn't sure what food I could eat. [looks in the refrigerator]
LUKE: Eat what you like. Start with the expired stuff.
JESS: Maybe I'll go out.
LUKE: I'm hearing a good buzz about a chow mein sandwich.
[Jess sees Luke's tape player and starts to press play. Luke jumps up to stop him.]
JESS: What's on the playlist these days? I'm guessing Jethro Tull or Jethro Tull.
LUKE: Just stay away from that.
JESS: What's with you?
LUKE: Never mind. Look, eat my food, use my shower. Just don't go poking around my stuff.
JESS: Mr. Sensitive. [goes to the door]
LUKE: Whatever. Enjoy your evening.
JESS: Don't wait up.
[Luke locks the door behind Jess and puts the tape on.]
MAN ON CASSETTE: You're a road in need of some repair. If your score is between 30 and 40 points, then you're a road laden with potholes and you need a double striping. And if your score is 40 or above, it's jackhammer time because your road is impassable.
LUKE: [sarcastically] Yikes.
MAN ON CASSETTE: Chapter 7. Men, a question -- what is fantasy? The answer -- fantasy is the imaginative fulfillment of your heart's desire. And one of the most common fantasies for single men is the fantasy of your ultimate companion.
LUKE: Yada yada yada.
MAN ON CASSETTE: Story time. I had a friend -- let's call him Phillip -- who couldn't make up his mind amongst three different women that he liked. I developed a test for him...and for you.
LUKE: [sarcastically] Oh, goody.
MAN ON CASSETTE: Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? Do you see her face? Who would you most like to have in your life to ward off moments of loneliness? Do you see her face? When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? Do you see her face? When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? Do you see her face? When something wonderful happens in your life -- a promotion at work, a successful refinancing -- who do you want to share the news with? Do you see her face? Whose face appears to you, my friend? Whose face?
LUKE: Whoa.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CUT TO HOSPITAL
[Rory enters an elevator with some hospital staff.]
RORY: Excuse me, I'm sorry, but I'm not sure which floor to go to. I've been getting conflicting advice. A friend of mine is here, but she didn't say exactly where, so I'm just wondering -- [trails off as she hears Paris's voice through the elevator doors]
PARIS: Why do I have to say everything twice? Huh? Why? I don't want my time wasted that way. You don't want your time wasted that way. Lives are dependent on you very people not wasting your time. I came here because of your reputation. Don't make me destroy that reputation.
DOCTOR: Miss, you have to lower your voice.
PARIS: That is Professor Asher Fleming in there, of Yale University. He's an important man, and you're acting like you're about to sell his spleen to UCLA.
DOCTOR: The procedures are the procedures.
PARIS: Oh, really? I thought the procedures were a hat. Hit me with some more lame tautology, Socrates.
DOCTOR: That's enough. Now, calm down, take a seat, and let us continue our work.
PARIS: Oh, you men, always telling us to calm down. Me, Hillary, Martha -- the second we make a squeak, you're pushing us onto the fainting couch.
NURSE: Honey, please.
RORY: Paris.
PARIS: Asher asked for a moistened towel 20 minutes ago, and no one's brought him a moistened towel. This man is an award-winning novelist, a sought-after lecturer. He deserves a moistened towel! Give me a towel! I'll moisten the damn thing myself!
RORY: Paris, come on. Fill me in here.
PARIS: Stat! Stat! Do you not know what "stat" means? They say it on all the hospital shows.
RORY: Come on, Paris. What's happening?
PARIS: It's Asher.
RORY: I know, what's happening?
PARIS: We were out getting some gelato and he dropped his spoon, and when I picked it up, he started to lean on me like he was about to fall, and he was having these pains.
RORY: Oh my God.
PARIS: So we sat down, and he said he was fine, but I got worried because he looked so pale, so I rushed him here to this chop shop masquerading as a hospital, and I can't get anyone to help him.
RORY: This is a really good hospital. They know what they're doing.
PARIS: He wanted a towel.
RORY: They'll get him one.
PARIS: And they wouldn't let me see even him because I'm not a blood relative. He's got two grown kids. Where are they? I mean, you put food on their table, a roof over their heads, and this is how they repay you?
RORY: What's doctor saying? Is it serious?
PARIS: It wasn't a heart attack. It was angina or something. I think he's gonna be fine.
RORY: Good.
PARIS: But...
RORY: But what?
PARIS: The wobbly, the look on his face, the angina...he's old.
RORY: What?
PARIS: Asher. He has pains, he wobbles.
RORY: Yeah?
PARIS: I spotted him through the curtain when the doctor came out, and he was just lying on that bed all alone, and he had his eyes open and was just staring at the ceiling. He looked so close to death.
RORY: He's not that close.
PARIS: He's closer than me.
RORY: An anvil could hit you on the head tomorrow, and he could live another 40 years.
PARIS: I'm 19. I should be rollicking. Asher doesn't rollick.
RORY: Well he probably didn't rollick when he was younger either. He's British.
PARIS: You should have seen the way he was staring at the ceiling, like he was looking at God.
RORY: He wasn't looking at God.
PARIS: You've probably been laughing at me all these months.
RORY: Paris, no, I haven't.
PARIS: I'm in a hospital. I should be at a discotheque. Are kids still into the discotheque?
RORY: Paris, come on. Let's go get you something to drink. Let the hospital do their work.
PARIS: He orders old gelato.
RORY: Old gelato?
PARIS: Vanilla. It's a very old flavor.
CUT TO LORELAI'S HOUSE
[Lorelai, Sookie and Michel are working on Lorelai's to-do list for the inn.]
LORELAI: Oh, I hate these pillows with a passion.
SOOKIE: They look good.
LORELAI: Good, not great?
SOOKIE: They look great.
LORELAI: Great, not fabulous?
SOOKIE: Fabulous.
LORELAI: Fabulous, not mondo-fabulous?
SOOKIE: Come on.
MICHEL: They look good to me.
LORELAI: Good, not great?
SOOKIE: Lorelai.
LORELAI: Twenty-eight to go.
MICHEL: Does it bother you that the word "laundry" is misspelled?
LORELAI: [Gasps] No! I proofed these pages a million times. That breaks my heart. L-a-u-n-d-r-y. That's right.
MICHEL: No, it's d-r-i-e.
LORELAI: No, laundry -- l-a-u-n-d-r-y.
SOOKIE: There's a "u?" There's no "u."
MICHEL: There's a "u" but no "y."
LORELAI: There's a "y" but no "i-e," and a "u."
SOOKIE: Or a "u."
LORELAI: No, no. There's a "u." There's no "i-e." It's a "y" -- this is giving me a headache.
MICHEL: Does "consommé" have two m's?
LORELAI: Hey, Abbott, just assemble the books.
MICHEL: It's getting late.
LORELAI: How late can you stay, Sookie?
SOOKIE: As late as you want -- Davey's with his grandparents, and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini tonight.
LORELAI: What's that, farm jargon?
SOOKIE: No, he's sleeping with the zucchini.
LORELAI: But what does that mean, sleeping with the zucchini?
SOOKIE: It means he's sleeping with the zucchini.
LORELAI: Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson?
SOOKIE: Well, he checked the forecast today, and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada, and he knows how important the zucchini is for opening day menu, so...
LORELAI: Are you saying that "sleeping with the zucchini" means...
SOOKIE: He's sleeping with the zucchini.
MICHEL: She's said it four times. You're very slow tonight.
LORELAI: Oh my God.
SOOKIE: Well, you said to do whatever it takes to make sure we have fresh zucchini.
LORELAI: Within the realm of reason.
SOOKIE: Oh. Now you add that. [Lorelai sighs and stands up.] Where are you going?
LORELAI: To the zucchini patch. [Sookie follows Lorelai.]
MICHEL: All of us or...
LORELAI: Michel!
CUT TO STRIP CLUB
[Luke enters with T.J. and a group of guys.]
T.J.'S BROTHER: Boys, we have arrived.
T.J.: You said it, brother, my brother. [sees Luke with his hand on his stomach] Stomachache?
LUKE: I'm fine.
T.J.: Check out the fresh nooks.
LUKE: Nice and fresh.
T.J.: Not your scene?
LUKE: Not really.
T.J.: Mine neither. This is for the guys. These days, there's nothing I'd rather do in the world than spoon with your sister. [Luke exhales sharply.] Stomach again?
LUKE: That time, yeah.
T.J.: Let's grab seats before they're all taken.
DANCER: Lap dance?
LUKE: Oh, no, thanks. I'm just here for a bachelor party.
DANCER: That's kind of why I'm here, too.
LUKE: Well, thanks for the offer, but, no, thank you. But thank you. It was nice. Thanks. Thank you.
DANCER: Thank you.
T.J.: Luke, come on. You should get a lap dance.
LUKE: I'm fine.
T.J.: Are you gonna stand all night?
LUKE: If I stand, there's no lap to dance on. Everything will be easier.
T.J.: Wow. That's something there.
LUKE: What's is?
T.J.: What you just said about your lap. The fact is, there is no such thing as a lap.
T.J.'S BROTHER: Come on.
T.J.: Think about it -- it's there when you're sitting, but it's gone when you stand, so where does it go? It doesn't go anywhere, meaning...it never was. So a lap is just an illusion.
T.J.'S BROTHER: Whoa. The way his mind works.
LUKE: Oh, it's something else. [Jess comes over to the group.] Where have you been?
JESS: Bathroom. It's best to use it before the puking starts.
LUKE: You left me hanging with the Lords of Flatbush here.
JESS: Sorry. Aren't you gonna sit?
T.J.: He doesn't want to make a lap.
T.J.'s BROTHER: A lap is an illusion.
JESS: What?
LUKE: Don't get him started.
T.J.: Hey, I want to talk to you later.
JESS: I always enjoy a good palaver.
T.J.: Huh?
JESS: We'll talk. [pulls out a book]
CUT TO HOSPITAL
PARIS: Thanks for the drink. I owe you.
RORY: You don't owe me anything.
NURSE: You can go in now.
PARIS: Thank you. Well, I think I'm going to go talk to him.
RORY: Okay.
PARIS: And have the talk -- a real talk.
RORY: Oh. Now?
PARIS: This can't go on. It's too weird. Tonight's been sort of an eye-opener.
RORY: Well, it's up to you.
PARIS: We're supposed to leave for England in two weeks. I shouldn't string him along.
RORY: Right. Now is good, and to do it is good...for a number of reasons.
PARIS: What reasons?
RORY: I just meant all the reasons that you already know.
PARIS: Wait for me -- take me home?
RORY: Yeah. I'll be right out here.
[Paris goes into Asher's room.]
PARIS: Asher?
ASHER: Paris? Come, come. You needn't have stayed.
PARIS: Oh, no. I mean, I had the keys.
ASHER: Then it was very convenient that you did stay.
PARIS: Did you ever get your towel?
ASHER: Five of them. And I'm very grateful. Thank you, angel. [notices Paris looking uncomfortable] Yes?
PARIS: Are you feeling better?
ASHER: Oh, I'm feeling much better.
PARIS: Good, good. I'm glad. I mean, you read all these awful stories in the paper -- you know, a guy comes in with a stomachache, and they amputate his foot.
ASHER: Paris...come sit down. You know, a hospital seems a wonderful place to discuss something serious, doesn't it?
PARIS: I guess.
ASHER: I want you to know that I'm grateful for every moment that we've spent together this past year. You're wonderful company. [Sighs] I don't think I've said that enough.
PARIS: No. You have.
ASHER: You know, I've had other relationships like this. You may have heard talk.
PARIS: Oh, I rarely listen to anything anybody says.
ASHER: I didn't want you to think that I was hiding anything. I want to be honest with you.
PARIS: Thank you.
ASHER: There's something very unique about you, Paris -- quite out of the ordinary.
PARIS: A lot of people have said I'm not ordinary.
ASHER: You know, I'm going to be very busy at Oxford. I've been writing down all the places that I wanted to take you, things you should see, but I'm afraid there's not enough time.
PARIS: Oh.
ASHER: So, I was thinking of going alone. Oh, I'd like you to go, but I don't want you to be bored.
PARIS: You've been writing down places?
ASHER: I'd forgotten how many there were. So, if you want to reassess, I will completely understand.
PARIS: Do you...want to reassess?
ASHER: No. I don't want to go alone, and I don't want to go with anyone else. But, then, I'm selfish. I get to be. After all, I'm...old.
PARIS: You're not so old.
[Rory reads a magazine in the waiting area. A woman about her age walks up to the nurse.]
ANDREA: Hi. I'm looking for Asher Fleming.
NURSE: He's getting dressed. He should be out in a minute.
ANDREA: Thank you. [sits next to Rory]
RORY: He'll be all yours in a minute, girlfriend.
[Paris and Asher come out of his room.]
ASHER: Miss Gilmore.
RORY: Hello, Professor.
RORY: You ready?
PARIS: That's okay. I'm going to go with Asher. We're going to do some more planning for England.
RORY: England? But I thought --
ASHER: Andrea, what brought you here?
ANDREA: Mom called.
ASHER: Paris, Rory, this is my granddaughter, Andrea.
PARIS: Hi.
ANDREA: Hi.
RORY: Hey, there. Wow. It's really nice to meet you. I'm gonna be going home now because there's no rest for the wicked. So I'll see you at home.
PARIS: See you there.
RORY: I'll just see you in class there, Asher -- uh, Professor. It's really nice meeting you. Bye.
CUT TO STRIP CLUB
T.J.'S BROTHER: I love mud, I love wrestling, I love girls. This is everything I love.
T.J.: In one neat package. [looks over at Jess, who is reading] Here's our boy. You having a good time?
JESS: Oh, I'm having a gay old time.
T.J.: You know, you read so much, I'm thinking of nicknaming you "Reads."
JESS: Good one.
T.J.: Tough guy, huh?
JESS: What?
T.J.: Listen, your mom has this thought she hasn't shared with you because she's afraid you wouldn't be into it.
JESS: Oh yeah?
T.J.: She'd like you to walk her down the aisle. Usually it's the father that would do that, but he's worm food.
JESS: I knew that.
T.J.: So, what do you say?
JESS: I don't think so.
T.J.: She really wants you to.
JESS: I really don't want to.
T.J.: I'd like it, too.
JESS: Oh, you too?
T.J.: Yeah.
JESS: I don't think so.
T.J.: It's a really short aisle. It'll be over in a flash.
JESS: Get Luke to do it.
T.J.: She wants you to do it.
JESS: I guess we're at a stalemate.
T.J.: I don't think we're at a stalemate.
JESS: There's girls wallowing around in slimy dirt, and you're looking at me?
T.J.: I don't want to tell your mom no.
JESS: Then I'll tell her.
T.J.: I don't want you telling her either.
JESS: Want to pitch in for a telegram?
[T.J. flips Jess' book away. Jess shoves T.J. and the bachelor party breaks out into a brawl.]
LUKE: Hey! Hey! Hey! Knock it off! Knock it off! Come on, knock it off!
BOUNCER: That's it. This whole group out.
T.J.: Best bachelor party ever!
CUT TO ZUCCHINI PATCH
MICHEL: Oh, my God. I hate nature.
LORELAI: Ow! Jackson!
JACKSON: What are you doing here?
LORELAI: What are you doing here?
JACKSON: I'm sleeping with the zucchini. Didn't you tell her that I was sleeping with the zucchini?
SOOKIE: She had a little trouble grasping that concept.
LORELAI: I do not want you to sleep with the zucchini.
JACKSON: You said it was important.
LORELAI: They are.
JACKSON: And to keep them safe, no matter what it takes. And there's a possibility of a cold front.
SOOKIE: I told her about the cold front.
LORELAI: That's why you have heaters.
JACKSON: But the heaters could fail, so I'm here to service them.
LORELAI: So technically, you're sleeping with the heaters?
JACKSON: I guess so.
LORELAI: But I don't want you to do that either.
MICHEL: It's cold.
LORELAI: Sit down here. It's warm down here. Jackson, I love you. I love that you're doing this, but I also feel like I should call the guys with butterfly nets to come get you...and me and all of us.
JACKSON: Well...
LORELAI: I'm so sorry, guys.
SOOKIE: For what?
LORELAI: For freaking out about dumb things like zucchini and not realizing that people would respond in very loving and nutty ways. This is not the way to do this. We're too stressed out. We're not having fun. This whole inn experience is flying by. Tonight it stops.
SOOKIE: Sounds good to me.
MICHEL: It is nice and warm here.
LORELAI: Here's what we do. We each have to drop something off our list -- something big -- and the others get to pick for the person, and the person cannot refuse a reasonable request to drop something.
SOOKIE: Like a game.
LORELAI: And we all win.
SOOKIE: You're dropping the pillows.
LORELAI: Okay, the pillows are history.
SOOKIE: Good.
LORELAI: Okay, you are dropping two desserts off the menu. A selection of six is all people need.
JACKSON: I'll second that.
SOOKIE: I can live with that.
LORELAI: And Michel, you're no longer asking for 10 references from every person we're hiring.
MICHEL: But they are all such imbeciles. How else will we know?
LORELAI: We're capping it at three.
MICHEL: Five.
LORELAI: Four.
MICHEL: I guess four's okay. It really is comfortable here.
LORELAI: I'm actually relieved about the pillows. [Jackson lays his head in Sookie's lap.]
SOOKIE: You'll do them later.
JACKSON: Are you guys seeing these stars? [They all look up, then lie back.]
LORELAI: Oh, wow, beautiful.
SOOKIE: I haven't looked at the stars in ages.
LORELAI: That's another rule. We all have to look at the stars more often.
SOOKIE: Done.
MICHEL: I'm very comfortable.
LORELAI: Me too.
CUT TO LUKE'S DINER
[Luke and Jess walk in the door.]
LUKE: Hmm. Tonight I got into a fight at a strip club with my nephew. A fight. I haven't been in a fight since sixth grade. Vince Williams called me a doodyhead. I took it very personally. But you know what? Tonight was good. Tonight something happened to me. I achieved this great sense of calm. No more anger, no more frustration. Live and let live. You are who you are. I cannot change that, and I'm gonna stop trying. I wish I'd felt this earlier. Then I wouldn't have dragged you down here. I apologize for that. But, I mean, if you really hate your mother that much, then you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't walk her down the aisle, and you shouldn't go to her wedding.
JESS: I don't hate my mother.
LUKE: You don't? Well, then, I don't get it. Why weren't you coming -- because of me? You hate me that much?
JESS: I don't hate you. [Sighs] I came here because of you.
LUKE: Stop that.
JESS: You said it was important to you. Remember?
LUKE: I didn't think you were listening.
JESS: I was listening.
LUKE: So, you don't hate your mom, you don't hate me, so...why weren't you coming? [ Sighs ] No. Rory still? That's ancient history. You haven't seen her in a year.
JESS: I saw her when I was here a few months ago.
LUKE: I didn't know that. So, what happened?
JESS: Nothing. I told her, uh...
LUKE: What?
JESS: I told her I loved her.
LUKE: Wow! What did she say?
JESS: Nothing.
LUKE: What, you just said it and walked away?
JESS: No. I got in my car and left.
LUKE: You just dropped the bomb and ran?
JESS: I drove.
LUKE: You didn't want stick around to see what she said?
JESS: No. And obviously, she had nothing to say.
LUKE: How do you know?
JESS: She could have contacted me anytime in the last three months, but she didn't.
LUKE: What are you talking about? You change your phone number weekly.
JESS: [Scoffs] The ball was in her court.
LUKE: Oh, Jess, come on. You did this completely wrong. Open two-way communication is the foundation of love, and you cut that off. I had this friend -- let's call him Phillip -- who thought expressing intimacy was a favor to his partner, but expressions of intimacy should be given freely and frequently. He loved Judy, but he used his love as a bargaining tool.
JESS: Who the hell is Judy?
LUKE: Phillip's wife. We call her Judy.
JESS: I wasn't bargaining.
LUKE: You were bargaining. You had expectations out of line with what you deserved. You don't nurture.
JESS: Where are you getting this junk?
LUKE: Life. I've lived.
JESS: What, in a Bette Midler movie?
LUKE: I'm just trying to help you out.
JESS: Oh, please. You are the most dysfunctional person I know.
LUKE: Not anymore.
JESS: Your marriage to Nicole -- nothing but weird.
LUKE: I'm better now.
JESS: Yeah, right. Right. Oh, man. We're just a couple of losers.
LUKE: Well, things change, my friend.
JESS: Oh, yeah?
LUKE: Stay tuned. [starts to go upstairs] You really told her you loved her? Huh.
CUT TO ZUCCHINI PATCH - MORNING
LORELAI: Sook, Sook.
SOOKIE: Where are we?
LORELAI: Michel, wake up.
SOOKIE: Hon, wake up.
JACKSON: What happened?
LORELAI: We slept with the zucchini.
MICHEL: We slept with the zucchini?
LORELAI: We slept with the zucchini.
SOOKIE: I slept good. I mean, really good.
MICHEL: Me too.
LORELAI: That's the best night's sleep I've had in weeks.
MICHEL: My back isn't hurting. It's perfect now.
SOOKIE: It's like a magic zucchini patch.
LORELAI: How are the zucchini?
JACKSON: They can't wait to be soup.
[Lorelai goes around to the front of Sookie's house, where Luke has just pulled into the driveway.]
LORELAI: Luke, hi.
LUKE: Hey. Where are you coming from?
LORELAI: Oh, you know, the zucchini patch.
LUKE: Huh?
LORELAI: It's a long story. No, it's short. I slept in the zucchini patch.
LUKE: Okay.
LORELAI: So, what are you doing here?
LUKE: Well, I wanted to talk to you.
LORELAI: Okay.
LUKE: I got that wedding coming up, Liz's wedding.
LORELAI: I know.
LUKE: I know you're busy with your to-do list and all, but I think you could use a little break.
LORELAI: Oh, I could use a little break.
LUKE: Take a break with me. Come to the wedding.
LORELAI: Really?
LUKE: It should be fun. There'll be turkey legs.
LORELAI: Oh, well, sure.
LUKE: Yes?
LORELAI: Yes.
LUKE: Good. Yes, good.
LORELAI: All right, then.
LUKE: I'll meet you at your house. We'll walk over together, okay?
LORELAI: Great.
LUKE: Okay. Good. I'll see you then.
LORELAI: Or before then.
LUKE: Either way is good.
LORELAI: Yeah, me too.
LUKE: Oh, and you don't have to wear a fruity outfit.
LORELAI: Oh, I'm gonna be a little fruity.
LUKE: That's good, too.
CUT TO LUKE's APARTMENT
[Jess is watching TV. Luke walks in smiling.]
JESS: What is it with you?
LUKE: [picks up his tape player and workbooks and gives them to Jess] Here. I'm done with them. Enjoy.
|
Plan: A: his wife; Q: Who does Jackson have devotion to? A: her famous zucchini soup; Q: What is Jackson's wife famous for? A: Sookie; Q: Who tries to set Lorelai up with the poultry supplier? A: Liz; Q: Who returns to Stars Hollow to announce her wedding? A: the town square; Q: Where is Liz getting married? A: a week; Q: How long until Liz's wedding? A: the summer; Q: When do Paris and Asher decide to travel to England? A: T.J.; Q: Who has a tumultuous bachelor party? A: Luke's request; Q: What causes Jess to return to Stars Hollow? A: Jess; Q: Who returns to Stars Hollow for his mother's wedding? A: the festivities; Q: What does Jess return to Stars Hollow for? A: her discomfort; Q: What does Rory try to hide? A: a fight; Q: What did Lorelai overhear between Dean and Lindsay? A: a self-help tape; Q: What helps Luke clarify his thinking? A: the relationship; Q: What does Luke want? Summary: Jackson's devotion to his wife and her famous zucchini soup set the stage for the perfect antidote to the stress surrounding the opening of the Inn; Luke unwittingly comes to the rescue when Sookie tries to set Lorelai up with the poultry supplier; Liz returns to Stars Hollow to announce that she's getting married in the town square in a week; Paris and Asher decide to travel to England together during the summer; T.J. has a tumultuous bachelor party; at Luke's request, Jess changes his mind about attending his mother's wedding and returns to Stars Hollow for the festivities; Rory tries to hide her discomfort when Lorelai tells her about overhearing a fight between Dean and Lindsay; a self-help tape helps Luke clarify his thinking, and a talk with Jess gets him started on the path to having the relationship he's been looking for all along.
|
Morgause's enchanted fortress Morgause watches Arthur through a magic crystal in her enchanted fortress.
Morgause: Hider eft funde. On þisse ne middangeard.Arthur Pendragon, a great destiny awaits you. The battle for your soul is about to begin.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Hall of Ceremonies
Uther: Arise Sir Vidor, Knight of Camelot. Arise Sir Caradoc, Knight of Camelot.
Uther: You have been accorded a great honour. But with that honour comes great responsibility. From this day forth, you are sworn to live by the knights' code. You have pledged to conduct yourselves with nobility, honour, and respect. Your word is your sacred bond. You will find no one who better embodies these values than my son, Arthur. Follow his example, and you will prove yourselves worthy of your title. The entire court turns to the door at the sound of sword fighting outside. A knight enters. The newly made knights of Camelot draw their swords as the knight approaches. Arthur steps forward and the knight drops gauntlet in front of Arthur, who picks it up.
Arthur: I accept your challenge. If I'm to face you in combat, do me the courtesy of revealing your identity. The knight removes the helmet to reveal a wealth of long blonde tresses.
Morgause: My name is Morgause.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Council Chamber of Doom
Uther and Arthur consult Geoffrey of Monmouth.
Geoffrey: I've searched the records going back more than 300 years. I could find nothing to say a woman cannot issue a challenge.
Uther: There must be some way to put a stop to this.
Geoffrey: According to the Knight's Rules, it appears her challenge is perfectly valid.
Arthur: It seems there's nothing we can do.
Uther: We don't know anything about this woman! I will not let you face her in combat!
Arthur: I accepted the challenge. If I refuse to fight, it'll be seen as an act of cowardice.
Uther: She killed five guards. You should not underestimate her.
Arthur: I cannot demand that my knights uphold the code, then be seen to break it myself. I must face her tomorrow.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgana's chambers
Morgana watches Morgause practicing in the Square.
Gwen: Who is she? Why would she challenge Arthur? It seems no one's ever heard of her.
Morgana: I feel as if I've met her somewhere before.
Gwen: Really? Where could you know her from?
Morgana: I don't know.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthur's Chambers
Merlin: Do you know why she challenged you?
Arthur: I'm the King's son. Perhaps she believed she will prove herself.
Merlin: Yeah, but you don't want to fight her, do you?
Arthur: I have no choice. If I refuse to fight her, I'm a coward. If I kill her, what am I then? What is it?
Merlin: You've never faced a woman in combat. What if you hesitate? She could use that to her advantage.
Arthur: You think she's going to defeat me.
Merlin: I'm just saying. You need to b .cautious, because it sounds like she's pretty handy with a sword.
Arthur: Since when do you know anything about combat? I need you to take a message to Morgause for me. If I'm seen to do it, it could be viewed as cowardice. You must persuade her to withdraw her challenge.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's chambers
Merlin enters. Morgause corners him with a sword.
Morgause: What do you want?
Merlin: I have a message from Prince Arthur. He wants you to withdraw your challenge. Arthur has no desire to fight you. Now, if you withdraw, he will grant you safe passage through the kingdom. Leave now, while you still can.
Morgause: If Arthur has no desire to fight me, perhaps he should withdraw.
Merlin: No. He'll, he'll never do that. It's not in him to withdraw.
Morgause: Then we have that in common.
Merlin: If you fight him, he will have to treat you as he does any other opponent. It won't matter that you're a woman.
Morgause: I do not ask for special treatment.
Merlin: Arthur has no quarrel with you. Why would you challenge him?
Morgause: My reasons are not your concern.
Merlin: Don't put Arthur in a position where he's forced to kill you.
Morgause: Who's to say Arthur's life won't rest in my hands?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Tournament Grounds
Uther enters. Merlin prepares Arthur for the fight.
Merlin: You gave her a chance to withdraw. Whatever happens, you are not to blame. Arthur enters. Morgause is waiting.
Uther: The fight is by the Knights' Rules. And to the death.
Arthur: I'm offering you a final chance to withdraw. I suggest you take it. Then you leave me no choice. They fight. Arthur catches Morgause in the arm, but allows her to pick up her sword. She disarms him and presses her sword to his chest.
Morgause: Make me a promise and I will spare your life.
Arthur: What is it you ask?
Morgause: Come to me three days hence and accept the challenge I set to you.
Arthur: And the nature of this challenge?
Morgause: That is for me to decide. Do I have your word that you will accept, no matter what?
Arthur: You have my word.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's chambers
Gaius tends to Morgause's wounded arm.
Gaius: You're fortunate the wound isn't too deep. You seems familiar. Have you visited Camelot in the past?
Morgause: I was here many years ago. I was just a baby at the time. I doubt you'd remember me. I'm grateful for your help.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthurs's chambers
Arthur is slumped over the table.
Merlin: It could've been worse.
Arthur: How, exactly, could it have been worse?
Merlin: You could be dead.
Arthur: At least I wouldn't have to face everyone. I've never felt so humiliated in my entire life. I was defeated by a girl.
Merlin: It's actually quite funny when you think about it. Or not.
Arthur: No. It's like you said. I was hindered because I was fighting a woman. I was worried I was going to hurt her. That's why she won.
Merlin: You didn't look hindered. I'll stop talking now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's chambers
Morgana knocks on the door and enters.
Morgana: I didn't mean to intrude. I wanted to introduce myself. I'm the Lady Morgana.
Morgause: I know who you are.
Morgana: How is your arm? You were wounded.
Morgause: It'll heal soon enough. You look tired.
Morgana: I haven't been sleeping.
Morgause: I know for myself how troubling that can be.
Morgana: Could it be that we've met somewhere before?
Morgause: (shakes head) I'm glad we have met now.
Morgana: That's a beautiful bracelet.
Morgause: It was a gift. From my mother. Please, I would like you to have it. It's a healing bracelet. It will help you sleep.
Morgana: I couldn't. You must be tired. I will leave you to rest.
Morgause: I hope you will remember me fondly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgana's Chambers
Morgana stirs restlessly in her sleep. Morgause watches her and hold up bracelet.
Morgause: Gefultuma híe þæt heo onslæpe. Morgause places bracelet at the end of Morgana's bed. Morgana stops twitching.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace gate
Morgause prepares her horse for travel. Arthur leads his horse out of the drawbridge gate and stops.
Arthur: Congratulations on your victory. You're a skilful swordsman. Woman. Swords...swordswoman. Morgause walks over to his horse.
Morgause: You have a beautiful horse. Arthur looks at his horse and Morgause's eyes glow.
Morgause: I shall expect to see you three days hence.
Arthur: How will I find you?
Morgause: When the time comes, you will know your way.
Arthur: If I don't show up it might be because I don't know where I'm going.
Morgause: The path you must follow will become clear to you. She mounts her horse.
Morgause: I should thank you for allowing me to retrieve my sword.
Arthur: I'm starting to wish I hadn't.
Morgause: You showed yourself to be a man of honour. You inherited that trait from your mother.
Arthur: You knew my mother?
Morgause: I knew her very well.
Arthur: Wait!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgana's Chambers
Gwen tries to shake Morgana awake.
Gwen: Morgana. Morgana. Morgana.
Morgana: I was fast asleep.
Gwen: It's nearly midday.
Morgana: I can't remember the last time I slept so well.
Gwen: I'll fetch you some clothes. Morgana finds the magic bracelet.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Council Chamber of Doom
Uther: And what is to be the nature of this challenge?
Arthur: She didn't say. But I gave her my word that I would accept it no matter what
Uther: You should never have made such a promise. You have no idea what she might ask of you.
Arthur: She had her sword to my chest. I had no choice. Morgause said that she knew my mother.
Uther: She told you this? Obviously she's lying. She's playing on your affections for your mother to lure you into a trap.
Arthur: That makes no sense. She spared my life.
Uther: It confirms my suspicions. I believe Morgause is an enchantress. How else could she have defeated you?
Arthur: I don't believe she was using magic.
Uther: And you would know for certain if she were? Under no circumstances will you go to meet her, or accept this challenge.
Arthur: I gave her my word!
Uther: I don't care what was said to her. You will remain in Camelot.
Arthur: I want to hear what she knows about my mother.
Uther: She knows nothing. She is lying. You will not go to her. I forbid it.
Arthur: So I am to break my word?
Uther: Escort my son to his chambers. Under no circumstances will he be allowed to leave.
Arthur: You're confining me to my chambers?
Uther: I am protecting you from your own foolishness!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthur's chambers
Merlin walks to Arthur's chambers, confused to see the guards before he enters.
Merlin: Why are the guards outside the door?
Arthur: My father has confined me to my chambers and has forbidden me from accepting Morgause's challenge.
Merlin: Well, maybe he's got a point. You, you don't know what she might've asked you to do.
Arthur: I gave her my word.
Merlin: So, I take it we're going anyway.
Arthur: You're smarter than you look. Gather some supplies, we leave tonight. Oh, and Merlin ...find a way to get me out of here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Physician's chambers
Gaius: How's Arthur?
Merlin: You mean after being defeated by a girl in front of the whole of Camelot? I've seen him happier.
Gaius: I think you're enjoying this, Merlin.
Merlin: Maybe a little. Merlin sees a rope and pretends to grind something for Gaius while sneaking the rope under his clothes.
Merlin: (whisper) Ic þé geháta, searubunden.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthur's chambers
Merlin enters. Arthur is now dressed in chainmail.
Merlin: I got the supplies.
Arthur: Merlin, is it my imagination, or are you getting fat? Merlin lifts his shirt to reveal the rope wrapped around his torso.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthur's chambers
Merlin prepares to anchor Arthur as he climbs out the window.
Arthur: Are you sure you're strong enough to hold me?
Merlin: Yeah. I'm stronger than I look. Arthur slides halfway down.
Arthur: What are you doing? Lower the rope!
Merlin: There is no more rope! I don't know if I can hold on much longer!
Arthur: Merlin, do not let go of the ro... The rope slips and Arthur falls face first into a pile of dung.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Forest
Merlin and Arthur ride through the woods.
Merlin: Which way? Do you actually know where we're going?
Arthur: It's this way. Come on. What is wrong with this horse? It's even dumber than you, Merlin!
Merlin: Where are you going? I thought you said it was left?
Arthur: It's not me! It's the horse! Morgause told me. When the time comes, you'll know your way.
Merlin: So the horse knows where we're going. Great.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Physician's Chambers
Gaius: Come on, Merlin. Merlin? Merlin's chamber is empty.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace corridor/Arthur's chambers
Gaius and Uther march to Arthur's Chambers. Uther sees the open window.
Uther: You've been guarding an empty room. Send out a search party! Find Arthur and bring him back to Camelot! Do you have any idea what Morgause might want with Arthur?
Gaius: I'm afraid I don't.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Forest
Merlin and Arthur ride through the woods.
Merlin: What if Morgause challenges you to do something you don't want to do?
Arthur: I'm not expecting it to be easy, Merlin. That's why it's called a challenge.
Merlin: So you'd do anything she asks of you?
Arthur: I gave her my word. It's a question of honour.
Merlin: What if she challenges you to do something even less honourable than breaking your word?
Arthur: Will you stop rabbitting on? We're in Odin's territory. We could be attacked at any second.
Merlin: I just think it's strange to agree to do something when you don't know what it is.
Arthur: One more word out of you, Merlin, and you'll be taking the challenge in my place. They're attacked by Odin's men.
Merlin: Gar onbærne. Arthur finishes off other attackers.
Arthur: Don't worry, Merlin. I'll deal with this, you lie there, make yourself comfortable.
Merlin: Maybe we should turn back. The woods could be full of Odin's men.
Arthur: You can go back if you want to, I won't stop you.
Merlin: You don't know anything about Morgause! You don't know what she's gonna ask you to do! We don't even know where we're going, we're following a horse!
Arthur: Morgause said she knew my mother.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgana's chambers
Morgana: Gaius, come in.
Gaius: Good day, my dear. I brought you your sleeping draught.
Morgana: I could've saved you the trouble. I had the best night's sleep I can remember.
Gaius: No nightmares?
Morgana: I can't tell you what a relief it is. I only wish I could thank Morgause for her gift.
Gaius: Morgause gave you that bracelet?
Morgana: She told me it would help me sleep. She spoke the truth. Gaius, what is it?
Gaius: Nothing. I'm merely surprised that it's so effective.
Morgana: I feel as if I somehow know Morgause.
Gaius: I don't see how. But I'm pleased you're feeling better.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Forest, camp
Merlin and Arthur sit at a campfire.
Merlin: What was your mother like?
Arthur: I never knew her. She died before I opened my eyes.
Merlin: I'm sorry.
Arthur: I barely know anything about her.
Merlin: Can't you ask your father?
Arthur: He refuses to talk about her. It must be too painful for him. Sometimes it's as if she never even existed. I still have a sense of her. Almost as though she's part of me.
Merlin: That's the same with my father. I never knew him. And my mother's barely spoken of him. I've got this...vague memory. It's probably just my imagination.
Arthur: I'd do anything for even the vaguest memory.
Merlin: Is that why you're so determined to find Morgause? To see what she knows about your mother?
Arthur: Is that so wrong?
Merlin: No.
Arthur: I should get some rest.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Councin Chamber of Doom
Gaius enters. Uther is eating.
Gaius: My Lord, I must speak with you. It concerns Morgause.
Uther: What is it?
Gaius: While I was treating her wound, I noticed that she wore a bracelet.
Uther: Go on.
Gaius: And it bore the mark of one of the Great Houses, the Great House of Gorlois. There is only one person, other than Morgana, who would have cause to wear such a bracelet. That is, a half sister.
Uther: I was led to believe that the child had died.
Gaius: The child lived, My Lord. She was smuggled out of Camelot shortly after her birth.
Uther: How do you know this?
Gaius: It was I who entrusted the child to the High Priestesses of the Old Religion.
Uther: You should've told me, Gaius.
Gaius: I had sworn a solemn oath, My Lord. I'm only breaking it now because I fear what Morgause might do.
Uther: Does Morgana know?
Gaius: I don't believe so.
Uther: Morgana must never find out she has a half sister. I will not have her loyalties divided.
Gaius: Of course. The High Priestesses will have trained Morgause from birth. Her magic will be powerful.
Uther: Then we must hope the search party finds Arthur before he reaches her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Lake
Merlin and Arthur come to a lake with a waterfall.
Merlin: It seems your horse has brought us to a dead end. Arthur's horse walks forward to the water.
Arthur: Now where's he going?
Merlin: I think you're going to get wet.
Arthur: You don't say.
Merlin: Arthur? Merlin nudges his horse to follow them into the lake.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's enchanted fortress
Merlin enters a tunnel behind the waterfall and emerges from a wood to find Arthur staring up at a the Enchanted Castle.
Merlin: Where are we? Arthur:I don't know.
Merlin: If we weren't sure Morgause was a sorcerer before, we can be certain of it now.
Arthur: That must've been how she defeated me. She was using magic.
Merlin: Hmm, it didn't look like she was.
Arthur: And what would you know about magic, Merlin?
Merlin: Nothing. They dismount and enter into a chamber empty except for a block of wood with an axe.
Arthur: Now what?
Merlin: Maybe we should ask the horse. Well, there's no one here.
Morgause: You kept your promise.
Arthur: What is the nature of the challenge you wish to set me?
Morgause: Place your head on the block. Morgause picks up the axe.
Morgause: You gave me your word that you would do anything I asked.
Merlin: Arthur, don't. Arthur kneels to place his head on the block.
Merlin: What are you doing? I won't let you do this!
Arthur: Stay out of this, Merlin! Morgause begins to swing the axe, then puts it down.
Morgause: You have shown that you are truly a man of your word, Arthur Pendragon, and for that I will grant you one wish. Tell me what it is that your heart most desires.
Arthur: You said you knew my mother. Tell me all that you know about her.
Morgause: Perhaps you would like to see her.
Arthur: I want that more than anything.
Morgause: As you wish.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Council Chamber of Doom Sir Leon and other knights stand before Uther.
Sir Leon: The search party were unable to pick up a trail. There is no sign of Prince Arthur anywhere.
Uther: Redouble your efforts. Send riders to the outlying villages. I want my son found!
Sir Leon: Yes, My Lord. The knights leave.
Uther: It chills me to think what Morgause has planned for Arthur.
Gaius: Had she chosen to , she already could have killed him. I believe she has some other purpose in mind.
Uther: Morgause told Arthur that she knew his mother.
Gaius: She knew Ygraine?
Uther: I don't know! Perhaps it's a lie. She knew that it would tempt Arthur to go to her.
Gaius: You think that Morgause knows the true circumstances to Arthur's birth?
Uther: I fear that more than anything.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's enchanted fortress
Merlin and Arthur wait for Morgause to prepare her spell.
Merlin: Are you sure you want to do this?
Arthur: If you were granted the same opportunity, would you not want to meet your father?
Merlin: Uther won't forgive you if he finds out you've collaborated with a sorcerer.
Arthur: What if my father's attitude to magic is wrong?
Merlin: You really think that?
Arthur: Perhaps it's not as simple as he would have us believe. Morgause is a sorcerer, she has caused us no harm. Surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil.
Merlin: We don't actually know why she's doing this.
Morgause: It is time. Close your eyes. Arásae mid min miclan mihte þín suna to helpe. Hider eft funde on þisse ne middangeard þín suna w'æs.
Ygraine: Arthur. Arthur opens his eyes.
Ygraine: Arthur.
Arthur: Mother.
Ygraine: My son. Ygraine goes to Arthur and hugs him.
Ygraine: When I last held you, you were a tiny baby. I remember your eyes. You were staring up at me. Those few seconds I held you were the most precious of my life.
Arthur: I'm so sorry.
Ygraine: You have nothing to be sorry for.
Arthur: It was my birth that caused you to die.
Ygraine: No, you are not to blame.
Arthur: I cannot bear the thought that you died because of me.
Ygraine: Do not think that. It is your father who should carry the guilt for what happened.
Arthur: What do you mean?
Ygraine: It is not important. What matters is that you lived.
Arthur: Why should my father feel guilty?
Ygraine: It is better left in the past.
Arthur: You cannot leave me with more questions. Please.
Ygraine: Your father, he was desperate for an heir. Without a son, the Pendragon dynasty would come to an end. But I could not conceive.
Arthur: But how was I born? Tell me.
Ygraine: Your father betrayed me. He went to the sorceress Nimueh and asked for her help in conceiving a child. You were born of magic.
Arthur: That's not true.
Ygraine: I'm sorry, Arthur. Your father has deceived you as he deceived me. To create a life, a life must be taken. Your father knew that.
Arthur: No.
Ygraine: He sacrificed my life so the Pendragon dynasty could continue. It makes you no less my son, nor me any less proud of you. Now I see you, I would have given my life willingly. Do not let this knowledge change you. Arthur looks back up and Ygraine is gone.
Arthur: No! Bring her back!
Morgause: I cannot. Once the doorway is closed, it is closed forever. I am truly sorry that your learnt of your mother's fate in this way. I can only imagine how it must feel to discover your father is responsible for her death. It is an unforgivable betrayal. Morgause leaves.
Merlin: Are you alright? Arthur?
Arthur: Fetch the horses. We're returning to Camelot.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, main square
Merlin and Arthur return to Camelot. Arthur dismounts in the square and grabs the sword from his horse before walking up the steps into the castle.
Merlin: What are you going to do? Arthur keeps walking. Gaius comes up to Merlin.
Gaius: Merlin. I'm relieved to see you're safe. Where's Arthur? Merlin walks around Gaius to face the wall of the Courtyard Corridor.
Merlin: Arthur was born of magic. Wasn't he? Uther used magic.
Gaius: Merlin...
Merlin: All those people he's executed...he's as guilty as they are. He sacrificed Arthur's mother! He as good as murdered her! People should know the truth about what he's done. How could you not tell me?
Gaius: I feared what Arthur would do if he ever found out.
Merlin: Oh, he's found out now. Merlin runs up the steps into the palace.
[SCENE_BREAK]
King's Palace, Council Chamber of Doom
Uther's looks over some papers with Sir Leon when Arthur enters.
Uther: Arthur. Where have you been? I have had search parties out looking for you. Arthur?
Arthur: I know...what you did to my mother.
Uther: Leave us. No one is to enter. Sir Leon exits and closes the doors.
Uther: What are you talking about?
Arthur: You were so desperate for an heir, you were prepared to use magic.
Uther: Did Morgause tell you this? She's lying.
Arthur: My mother is dead because of your selfishness and arrogance. Her blood is on your hands.
Uther: No. That's not true. But Morgause would have you believe that.
Arthur: This is what fuels your hatred for those who practice magic. Rather than blame yourself for what you did, you blame them.
Uther: You would believe a sorcerer's lies over the word of your own father? I can only think that Morgause has enchanted you.
Arthur: You speak of hunted her kind like animals! How many hundreds have you condemned to death to ease your guilt?
Uther: Those who practice magic will stop at nothing to destroy us! I have only done what is necessary to protect this kingdom!
Arthur: You speak of honour and nobility! You're nothing but a hypocrite and a liar!
Uther: I am your king, and your father. You will show me some respect! Arthur throws his gauntlet at Uther's feet.
Uther: Have you lost your mind?
Arthur: Pick it up.
Uther: Arthur, I implore you, think about what you're doing.
Arthur: Pick it up.
Uther: I will not fight you. Arthur draws his sword.
Arthur: If you choose not to defend yourself, I will strike you down where you stand.
Uther: You are my son. You will not strike an unarmed man.
Arthur: I no longer think of myself as your son.
Uther: Then strike me down. Arthur strikes, but Uther parries.
Uther: I don't want to fight you. They fight.
Uther: Arthur, stop this! Merlin runs up the Wrought Iron Stairway. Pendragons fight. Merlin runs through the Criss-cross Corridor. Pendragons fight. Merlin reaches the door to the Council Chamber of Doom, but Leon blocks him.
Sir Leon: The King has forbidden anyone to enter!
Merlin: They're going to kill each other! The Pendragons fight. Arthur disarms Uther and is about to strike, but Merlin opens the doors.
Merlin: Arthur! Don't! I know you don't want to do this!
Arthur: My mother is dead because of him!
Merlin: Killing your father won't bring her back. You've lost one parent. Do you really want to lose another?
Uther: Listen to him, Arthur.
Merlin: Arthur, please, put the sword down.
Arthur: You heard what my mother said! After everything he has done, do you believe he deserves to live?! He executes those who use magic, and yet he has used it himself! You have caused so much suffering and pain! I will put an end to that! Gaius enters.
Merlin: Morgause is lying! She's an enchantress. She tricked you. That was not your mother you saw. That was an illusion. Everything...everything your mother said to you...those were Morgause's words.
Arthur: You don't know that!
Merlin: This has been her plan all along! To turn you against your father. And if you kill him, the kingdom will be destroyed! This is what she wants!
Uther: Listen to him, he's speaking the truth.
Arthur: Swear to me it isn't true! You are not responsible for my mother's death! Give me your word!
Uther: I swear on my life, I loved your mother. There isn't a day passes that I don't wish that she were still alive. I could never have done anything to hurt her. Arthur drops his sword and falls to his knee, slumping against his father's chair.
Uther: My son, you mean more to me than...than anything.
Arthur: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Uther: You are not to blame.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Arthur's chambers
Arthur stares out the window. Merlin enters.
Arthur: I am indebted to you, Merlin. I had become...confused. It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.
Merlin: Glad I could help.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Physician's chambers
Merlin enters. Uther is waiting.
Merlin: My Lord.
Uther: I wanted to thank you in person for your actions yesterday. You are a loyal servant to Arthur. I am most grateful.
Merlin: I was just doing my duty.
Uther: You've proven yourself to be a trusted ally in the fight against magic.
Merlin: Me?
Uther: Those who practice magic will seek to exploit Arthur's inexperience. They will attempt to corrupt him. We must be extra vigilant.
Merlin: I will keep my eyes peeled.
Uther: I know you will.
Uther: If you ever speak of what happened between myself and Arthur to another living soul, I will have you hanged.
Merlin: Right, of course. Yes, My Lord. Uther exits. Gaius enters.
Gaius: Was that Uther I saw just leaving?
Merlin: Yeah. He just popped in to say hello.
Gaius: Merlin, what did he want?
Merlin: He wanted to thank me for being a trusted ally in the fight against magic.
Gaius: How you've managed to keep that head on your shoulders is a mystery beyond our greatest minds. Uther should be grateful. Your life would've been easier and safer if you'd let him die. You must have been tempted.
Merlin: Maybe for a moment. But Arthur wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if he'd gone through with it. It would have destroyed him.
Gaius: I'm proud of you, Merlin.
Merlin: Arthur's thanking me, Uther's grateful, you're proud. I've never been this popular.
Gaius: I'm almost certain it won't last.
Merlin: Just let me enjoy the moment.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Morgause's enchanted fortress
Morgause crystal gazes.
Morgause: ætíe mé þá þé ic séce. Morgause sees Arthur and Uther sitting down laughing with one another.
Note: incantations found at Merlin Wiki Thanks to Lika_mikala for allowing us to use her work.
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Plan: A: a challenge; Q: What does Arthur face from a mysterious knight? A: Morgause; Q: Who is the woman who defeats Arthur? A: his life; Q: What does Morgause spare? A: his mother; Q: Who did Morgause say she knew? A: her sorcery; Q: What does Morgause use to allow Arthur to speak with his dead mother? A: Camelot; Q: Where does Arthur go after speaking with his mother? A: his father; Q: Who does Arthur want to kill? Summary: Arthur faces a challenge from a mysterious knight who turns out to be a woman. He is forced to face Morgause in a battle to the death. She defeats him but spares his life in exchange for a promise to meet her and further tempts him with the knowledge that she knew his mother. What Arthur discovers when Morgause uses her sorcery to allow him to speak with his dead mother sends Arthur back to Camelot intent on killing his father.
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INFERNO
by: DON HOUGHTON
5:15pm - 5:40pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM
(The DOCTOR and the BRIGADIER rush into the switch room closely followed by SERGEANT BENTON and PRIVATE WYATT. The DOCTOR instantly spots BROMLEY on the floor.)
DOCTOR: Look.
(They bend down to examine him. On the other side of the room, another door is thrown open and the roaring, snarling SLOCUM bursts in. They all stand up and BENTON steps forward to tackle the half-human but the DOCTOR holds him back.)
DOCTOR: No, don't move! It'll only antagonise him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(The alarm continues to blare and smoke is still coming from the drill-head. GREG SUTTON and the technician manage to turn the wheel on the coolant pipe. GREG turns a waiting PROFESSOR STAHLMAN.)
GREG SUTTON: ... don't worry. She'll calm down now the coolant's flowing.
(STAHLMAN'S tone is less than gracious.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Thank you, Mr. Sutton.
(He walks off leaving a smarting GREG behind.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(PETRA adjusts various switches on a wall unit. STAHLMAN walks up and looks at the dials with her.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Still too much power from the nuclear reactor.PETRA WILLIAMS: I think the Doctor went to deal with it.PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Irritated.) What? Well, check it please, Petra.
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM
(The stand-off between a wary SLOCUM and the others continues...)
DOCTOR: (Calmly.) There's nothing to be frightened of, old chap.
(At that moment, a wall phone starts ringing. SLOCUM looks round at it in alarm and PRIVATE WYATT uses the diversion to run behind a rack of computer units, out of sight. He readies his rifle.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(The coolant is taking time to have an effect on the drill-head and the situation with the smoke pouring out of the pipes seems just as bad.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(PETRA is on the phone, trying to get a reply. STAHLMAN storms up to her.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well?PETRA WILLIAMS: There's still no reply from the main switch room.
(He grabs the phone from her.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: What do those fools think they're doing? (Into phone, crossly.) Hello? Hello?!
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM
(The phone continues to ring in the switch room but no one dares move to answer it and thus alarm SLOCUM. WYATT signals to his colleagues to move to one side and they do so slowly with SLOCUM breathing like a chased animal as he watches them. WYATT edges from behind the computer rack to get a shot at SLOCUM but the engineer sees the barrel of his rifle and runs forward. WYATT gets a shot at SLOCUM which seems to get him square in the chest but after staggering back slightly, he goes on the attack again and grabs the UNIT soldier round the neck. After half-strangling him, the effect of the bullet finally seems to have an effect on SLOCUM and, roaring like a bestial animal, he falls to the floor as the DOCTOR edges towards the power switch.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(STAHLMAN is still waiting to an answer to the phone call as SIR KEITH GOLD approaches him.)
SIR KEITH GOLD: There's still not a Red-One emergency.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Brusquely.) I know.
SIR KEITH GOLD: Shall I give the order?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Not until I consider it necessary. Why does nobody answer this phone?
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM
(SLOCUM is slumped against a wall. He is weakened but still growling and watching the people in the room. The BRIGADIER and BENTON drag BROMLEY away and then the BRIGADIER, pistol drawn, joins the DOCTOR who is keeping a wary eye on SLOCUM. The DOCTOR reaches out for the power switch and SLOCUM lets out a bellow of anger. Nevertheless, the DOCTOR tries again but quickly snatches his hand away from the red hot switch. He turns to the BRIGADIER.)
DOCTOR: Pistol?
(The BRIGADIER looks puzzled at this request.)
DOCTOR: Pistol!
(The DOCTOR grabs the cold metal pistol off the BRIGADIER and uses it to push the power switch back. SLOCUM growls in anger and reaches out but this final effort seems to cost him his life and he slumps to one side. Behind him, the wall he was leaning against is badly scorched. The whine of the reactor power reducing can be heard. The BRIGADIER is about to go to SLOCUM but the DOCTOR stops him.)
DOCTOR: No, no! Don't touch him. Look at that wall - it's scorched.
(The DOCTOR then moves over the room to the incessantly ringing phone and answers it.)
DOCTOR: (Into phone.) Hello? (He listens.) Oh, it's you, Stahlman. (Listens.) Thank you, we've dealt with the matter ourselves.
(He slams the phone down.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(Slowly, the smoke stops to come out of the drill-head and the blaring alarm finally ceases.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(In the main control room, GREG is surrounded by a group of grinning and sweating, but nevertheless triumphant, technicians. They all dab at themselves with handkerchiefs.)
GREG SUTTON: Well done, everyone. I'll have a new medal struck - "The Order of the Turkish Bath"!
(The good atmosphere is ruined as STAHLMAN, with PETRA, steps up behinds them and barks out an order.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: The emergency has been contained. Return to your normal duties everyone.
(The technicians move off but GREG rounds on the PROFESSOR.)
GREG SUTTON: (Angrily.) We contained it by the skin of our teeth. We may not be so lucky next time.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: The main operation was not at fault. Those idiots at the nuclear reactor boosted the power too high.
GREG SUTTON: All right, so it was some kind of accident. They happen, you know? You have to make allowances, take precautions.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Coldly.) I can make no allowances for incompetence, Mr. Sutton.
(He stalks off and PETRA moves to follow him.)
GREG SUTTON: Petra?
(She turns back.)
GREG SUTTON: Is that man a complete nut?
PETRA WILLIAMS: (Sharply.) I don't think so, Mr. Sutton.
(GREG tuts at her loyalty and turns away from her. PETRA assumes a warmer manner though.)
PETRA WILLIAMS: Thank you for helping with the emergency.
GREG SUTTON: Well, if you really want to show your gratitude, there are one or two things.
PETRA WILLIAMS: Like what?
GREG SUTTON: Like call me Greg, for instance. It's my name. All this "mister"ing makes me nervous.
PETRA WILLIAMS: (Smiles.) And second?
GREG SUTTON: Well, I've got one or two ideas.
PETRA WILLIAMS: What about?
GREG SUTTON: Safety precautions at the drill-head area. Now Stahlman listens to you. If you could convince him I'm talking sense, we might get somewhere.
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. NUCLEAR REACTOR CONTROL ROOM
(Without touching him, the DOCTOR has made an examination of SLOCUM'S slumped body. The BRIGADIER has been watching him.)
DOCTOR: Both bullets right through the heart.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: But he was alive and moving for several minutes.
DOCTOR: Abnormal resistance, abnormal strength, and that is not all.
(BENTON enters the room.)
SERGEANT BENTON: 'Scuse me, sir. The medics are on the way over.
DOCTOR: (To BENTON.) Look, they'd better not touch the body for a while. It's radiating a good deal of heat.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, sir.
(He leaves.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Puzzled.) The man's dead, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Heat, Brigadier. Like the wrench that killed that technician. Like that switch over there.
(The BRIGADIER nods at WYATT and BROMLEY who lie against the opposite wall to SLOCUM. They are pale in the face and BROMLEY would appear to be unconscious. However, WYATT'S eyes are open but he just stares into space.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What about these two?
DOCTOR: Well, there don't seem to be any major injuries.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Shock?
DOCTOR: Possibly, I don't know.
(The BRIGADIER stands over the soldier.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Wyatt? Private Wyatt?
(WYATT'S lips twitch but, otherwise, he doesn't move.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: EXT. STORAGE TANK AREA
(The BRIGADIER and the DOCTOR climb onto a high catwalk between that runs between several large round storage tanks. From here, they have a panoramic view of the vast site with its buildings, towers, tanks and chimney's.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Doctor, I need some answers.
DOCTOR: Mmm?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What did happen to Slocum?
DOCTOR: Some sort of retrogression of the body cells, I think.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I don't understand.
DOCTOR: Neither do I - not fully, not yet.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: It looked as if he was turning into some sort of...animal.
DOCTOR: Yes. But the process was relatively slow and it wasn't completed.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I'll have the devil of a job keeping this quiet.
DOCTOR: (To himself.) Why wasn't the metamorphosis completed?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: That noise he was making - I've never heard anything like that before.
DOCTOR: I have.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Where?
DOCTOR: Krakatoa, the Sundra Straits...during the volcanic eruption of 1883.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Doctor, are you telling me that there's some link between Slocum and the volcanic eruption in Krakatoa?
DOCTOR: There could be.
(The clanging of boots on the metal staircase is heard and they look down to see SERGEANT BENTON climbing up. He joins them and salutes the BRIGADIER.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Sir, Wyatt and the technician - they've disappeared.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What?
SERGEANT BENTON: They cleared off before the medics could look at them.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Come on.
(The two soldiers climb back down and the DOCTOR watches them go. He then idly looks round and up...and suddenly sees movement on an even higher catwalk above him.)
DOCTOR: Wyatt?
(The soldier, crouched like an animal, sees that he has been spotted and runs off.)
DOCTOR: Wait!
(The DOCTOR is about to go after the BRIGADIER and BENTON but thinks better of it and starts to climb a ladder on his own catwalk, following WYATT. He gets to the top level and starts to give chase after the soldier who runs on. The DOCTOR reaches the end of the walkway and another staircase back down to a slightly lower level which he takes at some speed, sliding down part of the way. When he gets to the bottom, he sees that round a corner, WYATT is crouched on a pipe waiting for him. Rifle in hand held like a club, his face is now green and he drools and hisses at his pursuer.)
DOCTOR: Now Wyatt, listen to me. You need help.
(WYATT jumps off the pipe and starts to stalk the DOCTOR. He backs off and WYATT swings at him with his rifle. He misses as the DOCTOR lunges back. WYATT tries again and a third time. This time, his swing is too strong and he falls over the railing of the catwalk. With a strange animal-like cry, he plunges to the ground and falls with a clang upon another metal surface. The DOCTOR looks down and sees a UNIT soldier approach the body. The DOCTOR yells down...)
DOCTOR: Don't touch him! Whatever you do, don't touch him!
(He runs off to a stair-ladder that will take him down to the ground. At the top of the staircase that he came down previously, another green-faced shambling figure appears - BROMLEY.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(PETRA walks into the drill-head area. A pleased STAHLMAN is there with his notebook. He calls to her over the noise of the drilling.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: According to my calculations, Petra, we can accelerate the drilling speed by twelve percent without any adverse effects.
PETRA WILLIAMS: Professor Stahlman, will you...
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Interrupting.) This will advance the time of penetration of the Earth's crust by nearly five hours...
PETRA WILLIAMS: (Interrupting.) Professor Stahlman, would you please come to central control? Sir Keith wants you to look at something in there.
(STAHLMAN'S good humour disappears...)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well, what on Earth is it?
PETRA WILLIAMS: ...
(They walk through to the control room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
15: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(A small metal box lies on a trolley in the control room, watched over by GREG, SIR KEITH and a white-coated lab technician.)
GREG SUTTON: Do you reckon he'll know what it is?
SIR KEITH GOLD: Well if he does, he's a darn sight cleverer than the rest of us.
(The DOCTOR walks in.)
DOCTOR: Hello? What have we got here?
(STAHLMAN and PETRA join them.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well, what is it, Sir Keith.
SIR KEITH GOLD: (To the technician.) Open it please.
(The technician, wearing white heat-proof gloves undoes a clasp on the box. He takes out of it a thick glass, metal topped specimen jar. It is filled with the same green substance that was seeping from number two output pipe. He closes the lid of the box and places the jar on top of it.)
SIR KEITH GOLD: Now, we've been getting traces of this stuff from number two output pipe for some time now. Recently it's started coming out in greater quantities.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Analysis report?
SIR KEITH GOLD: None - so far the substance has defied analysis.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Ridiculous! If it exists, it can be analysed.
SIR KEITH GOLD: The labs say they can't get near enough to the stuff to carry out a proper examination. It took them all their time to syphon some off into that heat resistant jar.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Smiles.) Then we shall just have to wait till it cools down a bit, won't we?
DOCTOR: Well I doubt whether it will cool down.
(STAHLMAN rounds on him to everyone's embarrassment.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: And who the devil asked you?!
DOCTOR: I was just venturing an opinion.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Based on what?
DOCTOR: Krakatoa actually!
(STAHLMAN raises his eyebrows at the assembled group. The BRIGADIER has joined them.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Professor, I have to speak to you and Sir Keith on a matter of great urgency.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Oh, not just at this moment, if you don't mind.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I must insist, sir - this is vital!
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well then, talk to our good friend, Sir Keith. He's, er, got time for talking, I haven't.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Insistent.) Professor, in the last few hours, three men have died in this establishment. Died violently. I must talk to you...in my office, now.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (With bad grace.) Oh, very well.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir Keith?
(They walk off. GREG goes leaving just the DOCTOR. LIZ joins him and nods at the jar.)
LIZ: I examined that stuff in the labs. What do you think?
(The DOCTOR peers closely at the jar.)
DOCTOR: I wish I could hear it, Liz.
LIZ: Hear it?
DOCTOR: I wonder if it screeches?
LIZ: Doctor, I think you ought to come and look at the main computer.
DOCTOR: Why? Something interesting?
LIZ: Something downright frightening if you ask me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: INT. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE
(The conference is not going well...)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Oh, but surely, Brigadier, this matter comes under the jurisdiction of the medical section or...security? It's a personnel problem. It's got nothing whatsoever to do with the technical side of this operation.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Professor, three men have died.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: I'm sorry for that. But it's none of my responsibility.
SIR KEITH GOLD: How can you say that? These deaths concern all of us.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The Doctor believes there is some connection between the...
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Interrupts angrily.) That Doctor has no authority in this establishment! How many times do I have to repeat that?
SIR KEITH GOLD: His calculations on initial stresses were invaluable to this project. Without them...
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Interrupts.) I would have come to the same conclusion.
SIR KEITH GOLD: He came to his answers in ten minutes! You had a team of mathematicians working on it for a month.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: That's hardly the point, Sir Keith.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Gentlemen, please. I am still waiting for some decision on my particular problems.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well, as you say, Brigadier, they are your problems. Please deal with them as you see fit.
(The DOCTOR enters and goes straight up to STAHLMAN.)
DOCTOR: A question?
SIR KEITH GOLD: (Irritated.) Yes?!
DOCTOR: Isn't anybody going to pay any attention to that computer out there?
SIR KEITH GOLD: That computer is over-sensitive. Its data is unreliable.
DOCTOR: You talk about the thing as though it was your maiden Aunt!
SIR KEITH GOLD: My own calculations are more specific.
DOCTOR: Yes, well I'll tell you something that should be of vital interest to you, Professor.
SIR KEITH GOLD: Well, what?
DOCTOR: That you, sir, are a nitwit!
(STAHLMAN seethes but before he can answer PETRA runs in.)
PETRA WILLIAMS: Professor! Come quickly!
(She runs out as STAHLMAN barks at the BRIGADIER.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: That man ought to be locked up!
(He follows as the DOCTOR smiles and nods at LETHBRIDGE STEWART.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(The cause of the alarm is the glass specimen jar. Its contents are bubbling and the glass is cracked in several places. A group of interested technicians are gathered around the trolley.)
PETRA WILLIAMS: I think the jar's going to shatter!
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Stand back everybody!
(They all stand back as PETRA and STAHLMAN approach. They are followed by the group from the BRIGADIER'S office and LIZ. The PROFESSOR reaches out with ungloved hands for the jar.)
DOCTOR: No, Professor, don't.
(STAHLMAN looks angrily at him. He then clasps the jar in his left hand and opens the metal box. His hand shakes with the pain of the heat as he drops the jar into the box and shuts the lid.)
DOCTOR: Yes, well I wouldn't have done that if I was you.
(STAHLMAN wipes his hand with a handkerchief as he speaks to the technician from the lab.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Have that deep frozen at once.
(The trolley is wheeled away.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Right, return to work everybody. The entertainment's over.
(All leave but the BRIGADIER notices that STAHLMAN is still wiping his hand on his handkerchief, as if there were something there that he cannot get rid of.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Are you all right?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Yes, of course. The jar was hot. It's nothing.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Then perhaps we can continue our discussion?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: I hardly think that's necessary. As far as I'm concerned, everything's been covered.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Sarcastically.) Thank you for your co-operation!
(He walks off and STAHLMAN is joined by an agitated SIR KEITH and the DOCTOR.)
SIR KEITH GOLD: What about the computer?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Well, what about it?
SIR KEITH GOLD: Well, you can't just ignore it.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: I prefer to rely on my own judgement. I've been concerned with this operation for eleven years and I know more about the details surrounding it than any machine.
DOCTOR: I hope so, because its message is perfectly clear.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: What message?
DOCTOR: Well, come and see for yourself.
(They walk over to the computer bank.)
DOCTOR: It warns that drilling should be stopped immediately.
(STAHLMAN doesn't concern himself with the readings but instead takes out his ubiquitous notebook.)
DOCTOR: Well, look at it man! Are you blind?!
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: That computer, as I have said, is inaccurate.
(The DOCTOR has had enough.)
DOCTOR: (Curtly.) You please yourself, sir. I've done the best I can to convince you. I may as well get back to my own work.
(He starts to walk off.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: You may find that rather difficult. We can't supply you with any more nuclear power.
DOCTOR: Oh, why not?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: We need all the energy we can get. I propose to accelerate the drilling by twelve percent.
(He goes over to the power unit where a technician stands.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Cut the power to the Doctor's hut. Not to be reconnected under any circumstances.
DOCTOR: That's an incredibly childish attitude to take!
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: If you will excuse me.
(He storms off.)
SIR KEITH GOLD: I'm sorry, Doctor.
DOCTOR: So am I, Sir Keith.
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(PETRA is at the drill-head and has just finished speaking to a technician when STAHLMAN walks in.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Petra, listen carefully. Start the acceleration in exactly...
(He checks his watch.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: ...twenty-five minutes time. That will make the time of penetration zero exactly in...forty-nine hours from now.
PETRA WILLIAMS: (Uneasily.) Professor Stahlman, shouldn't you at least consider what they're saying.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: If I'd listened to all the others, Petra, this project would never have begun. If I listen to them now, it'll never be completed. Have all systems modified to this new programming.
PETRA WILLIAMS: Yes, Professor.
(She leaves the drill-head. After she has gone, the PROFESSOR starts to look unwell. He takes out his handkerchief and again starts to wipe at his hand - but this is now green in colour. STAHLMAN'S eyes are wide open, not just in shock, but also as if he was struggling against an inner turmoil.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(PETRA speaks to two technicians and then crosses to the one at the power unit.)
PETRA WILLIAMS: Mr. Phillips? Professor Stahlman has decided to modify the drilling rate. Could you join us?
(The technician walks away. On the other side of the control room, the DOCTOR has seen this. He is with LIZ who is looking over some figures on a clipboard.)
DOCTOR: Liz? Go and check the trigamma circuits on the console again, will you?
LIZ: What do you want me to do that...
DOCTOR: (Interrupts.) Look, please. Don't ask any questions. There's a good girl.
LIZ: (Smiles.) All right.
(She leaves. The DOCTOR slowly crosses the room, making his way as unobtrusively as possible to the power unit. He makes sure that PETRA and Phillips are not watching him and quickly flips the switch for power to his garage. He then walks away from the unit. He is not the only one on a mission of stealth however. STAHLMAN also walks into the room and, seemingly unseen, make his way to the computer. Bending down, he opens a small inspection hatch and takes out a small glass micro-circuit. He shuts the hatch, pockets the circuit and walks towards the BRIGADIER'S office.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: INT. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE
(Once inside, he looks over the contents of the BRIGADIER'S desk. His usual brisk manner is slightly different, more cat-like and possessed. He finds the BRIGADIER'S swagger stick in a drawer. He places the micro-circuit on the desk and raises the stick to bring it crashing down when...)
DOCTOR: Professor!
(The DOCTOR is in the doorway. He points an accusing finger.)
DOCTOR: What are you doing with that micro-circuit?
(STAHLMAN hastily pockets the circuit as the DOCTOR walks over.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: You'd do well to mind your own business, Doctor!
DOCTOR: That computer is a threat to you, isn't it? It could prove you wrong. Now give me that micro-circuit.
(STAHLMAN raises the stick to club down the DOCTOR but he is too quick for him and, with an oriental-type cry, places a two fingered nerve hold on STAHLMAN'S neck. The paralysed PROFESSOR drops the stick as the BRIGADIER rushes in.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Doctor! What on earth do you think you're doing?
DOCTOR: Venusian Karate. It's very effective. Hold it long enough. The subject remains permanently paralysed.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Then I suggest you let him go.
DOCTOR: Oh, very well.
(He releases the hold and STAHLMAN staggers forward. The BRIGADIER catches him and helps him stand.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Will someone please explain what's going on here?
DOCTOR: (To STAHLMAN.) Shall I tell him or will you?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: (Furiously.) Brigadier, have that man expelled from this establishment!
(He storms out of the room.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, Doctor? Will you please tell me what's going on here?
DOCTOR: Look, don't you start asking me questions. Just keep your eyes open and follow me.
(They follow the PROFESSOR.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(STAHLMAN is stood near the computer, still trying to recover his self-control.)
DOCTOR: Professor, there are some questions that we would like to ask you.
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Brigadier, this man is trying to sabotage my project.
DOCTOR: Would you mind telling us what you have in your left-hand pocket?
(STAHLMAN hesitates.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Quietly.) Professor?
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Oh, very well.
(He pats his waistcoat pockets.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Nothing.
(He takes his notebook out of his left-hand jacket pocket...)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Left-hand...
(...and a bunch of keys out of the other.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Right-hand. Satisfied? Now get that man out of my sight!
(He storms off as the DOCTOR whispers urgently to the BRIGADIER.)
DOCTOR: I tell you - he had a micro-circuit in his pocket.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, it isn't there now, and after all, he is in charge.
DOCTOR: Yes...well, I suppose I've got something better to do with my time anyway.
(He starts to walk out. The chatter of the computer's printout suddenly stops and two technicians run forward to attend to it.)
DOCTOR: (To the BRIGADIER.) You see, it's packing up already!
(He walks out. The BRIGADIER also goes. STAHLMAN sees that the coast is clear and near a wall, drops the circuit. He places his heel on it and grinds it to powder, kicking the debris away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
22: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE
(The doors to the garage close as the DOCTOR pockets his sonic screwdriver and climbs out of Bessie. He joins LIZ who is working on a unit at the base of the console.)
DOCTOR: Did you find any damage to the main circuits?
LIZ: Two of the by-pass wires have burnt out. But apart from that, everything seems all right.
DOCTOR: Did you replace them?
LIZ: Yes.
DOCTOR: Good, good.
(He goes over to the junction boxes a flicks the switch for the power to reach his garage.)
LIZ: What was all that business at central control?
DOCTOR: Oh, just a little contretemps between myself and Stahlman. Nothing of any importance.
LIZ: Well, with the nuclear power cut off, we're just wasting our time, aren't we?
DOCTOR: Oh, I don't think so.
LIZ: At least you won't be able to make any trial runs.
DOCTOR: Liz, it wasn't the console that was to blame. It was that nuclear power surge.
LIZ: I'm afraid you'll never know for sure, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Yeah, would you do me a favour?
LIZ: Yes?
(He takes a notepad out his pocket.)
DOCTOR: Nip down to the control centre, will you? And feed these figures into the spare bank of the computer. They're some epsilon co-ordinates.
(He hands her a sheet of paper.)
LIZ: Epsilon co-ordinates? You usually work those out in your head?
DOCTOR: Yes, I know, but I'm a bit tired.
LIZ: Yes, all right.
(She puts on a white coat and picks up her handbag. She goes over to the closed door.)
LIZ: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Hmm?
(He sees that she is waiting for him to open the door.)
DOCTOR: Oh, I'm so sorry.
(He takes out his sonic screwdriver and buzzes the door open. LIZ smiles and bobs a curtsey.)
LIZ: Thank you.
(The DOCTOR closes the doors and, now that he is alone, starts to frantically adjust controls on the console.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: EXT. COMPLEX
(LIZ walks through the complex. She passes a small brick blockhouse. After she has gone, BROMLEY comes out of hiding in a small entranceway and watches her go.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
24: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(LIZ walks into the control room, note paper in her hand. She sees a couple of technicians working away at the computer watched over by a worried BRIGADIER.)
LIZ: What's happened to the computer?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: It's broken down.
(LIZ looks at her slip of paper.)
LIZ: Oh well, the Doctor'll just have to work out these calculations in his head after all.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Alerted.) The Doctor sent you?
LIZ: Yes, I've just come from the hut.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: But he was here when the machine broke down.
LIZ: What?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Didn't he tell you?
LIZ: No.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Stahlman's demanding that I get rid of him. It looks as though he sent you on a wild goose chase.
LIZ: Just a minute.
(She pushes past him and goes over to the power unit. She sees that the red light is on.)
LIZ: Brigadier, come on!
(They run out of the control room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
25: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE
(The console is literally shaking as power floods through. The DOCTOR holds onto it.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
26: INT. DRILL-HEAD
(STAHLMAN and PETRA stand at a console watching the progress of the drilling.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Twenty-four. Sixty-eight...
(Suddenly the lights in the room start to dim. STAHLMAN looks round in alarm.)
PROFESSOR STAHLMAN: Someone's using extra power! That...Doctor!
(They run off into the control room...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
27: INT. CENTRAL CONTROL
(...and straight over to the power unit. STAHLMAN flicks the switch off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
28: INT. DOCTOR'S GARAGE
(The garage doors buzz open and LIZ and the BRIGADIER run in. The TARDIS dematerialisation noise starts up.)
LIZ: Doctor!
(They watch as Bessie, the console and the DOCTOR fade out of existence...)
|
Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who begins to suspect that penetrating the earth's crust will create more Primords? A: Stahlman; Q: Who sabotages the computer? Summary: The Doctor begins to suspect that penetrating the earth's crust will create more Primords but Stahlman sabotages the computer to stop him proving it.
|
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait. You're telling me this actress person is the only woman you ever wanted who didn't want you back?!
Joey: Yeah! Oh my God! (to Chandler) Is this what it's like to be you?
Monica: Wow, you're really crazy about her, huh?
Joey: Oh, you have no idea. And-and when we're on stage I get to-to kiss her and-and touch her, but then she goes home with the director, and it's like somebody's ripping out my heart!
Phoebe: Oh, it's so great to see you feeling like this!
Ross: (entering) Hey!
All: Hey!
Ross: Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.
Monica: Yes!! Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Ross: We were all pretty shaken up about it.
Phoebe: Wait, am I missing something though? 'Cause I thought death was something that's supposed to be sad, in a way.
Ross: Well ah, Aunt Silvia was, well not a nice person.
Monica: Oh, she was a cruel, cranky, old bitch! (Ross gives her a look) (to Ross) And I'm sorry she died. Did Dad say I get the dollhouse?
Ross: You get the dollhouse.
Monica: I get the dollhouse!
Phoebe: Wow, a house for dolls, that is so cool! When I was kid, I had a barrel.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Phoebe: No, just a barrel.
Monica: Y'know what, you can play with my dollhouse.
Phoebe: Really?! Really?!
Monica: Any time you want. Y'know, when I was younger, all I wanted to do was to play with this dollhouse, but no!! It was to be looked at, but never played with.
Chandler: My Grandmother used to say that exact same thing to me.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Rachel's office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Rachel: Hey, Sophie!
Sophie: Hey, Rach!
Chandler: Hey.
Sophie: Hey.
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didn't have to walk me all the way back up here.
Chandler: Oh, that's-that's okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we don't keep the women's lingerie here in the office?
Chandler: Yes, I realise that.
Rachel: Summer catalogue! (hands him the catalogue)
Chandler: That's the stuff! (quickly grabs it)
[Rachel's boss, Joanna, enters]
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You don't work for me.
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: Bing! That's a great name.
Chandler: Thanks, it's ah, Gaelic, for 'Thy turkey's done.' So ah, I'm gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
Joanna: Me too.
Rachel: Bye, Chandler.
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, what's wrong with him?
Rachel: Oh, nothing, he's just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Rachel: No!! No! He's not married, or involved, with anyone!
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Rachel: Well, I'll ask him for you, if you want me too?
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Sophie: Uh, uh, uh, I am here.
Joanna: I know that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is showing off her new dollhouse. It's a huge dollhouse, that takes up the entire living room table.]
Monica: Look at it! Ohhh! Wallpaper's a little faded, that's okay. Carpet's a little loose. Hardwood floors!!
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Chandler: Hello.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh Monica! It's so beautiful.
Monica: I know!!!
Phoebe: So, I'm here, ready to play.
Monica: Okay.
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Monica: What's this?
Phoebe: That's a dog, every house should have a dog.
Monica: Not one that can pee on the roof.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it's so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
Chandler: (holding a tissue) And is this in case the house sneezes?
Phoebe: No, no, that's the ghost for the attic.
Monica: I don't want a ghost.
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But you've got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
Ross: Wait a minute, the house was built on radioactive waste, and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you don't know much about the U.S. government.
Rachel: (entering) Hey!
All: Hello.
Rachel: I need to talk to you!
Ross: Sure, what's up?
Rachel: Oh, sorry. I meant Chandler.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
Chandler: Oh, I'm glad you guys are past that little awkward phase.
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Chandler: Oh-ho, liked what she saw, huh? Dug my action, did she? Checkin' out the Chan-Chan man!
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Chandler: Yeah, she seemed cool, attractive. I'll do it.
Rachel: Oh thank you, Chandler, this is so great, she's gonna love me.
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
Monica: Okay, Phoebe, y'know what? That-that's it, that's it, all right? No dinosaurs, no ghosts, no giant dogs, okay? They're not the right size, they're not Victorian, and they just don't go.
Phoebe: Okay, (starts to pack up her stuff) fine. Come dinosaur, we're not welcome in the house of no imagination.
Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they-they don't go, rrroof!
Phoebe: The little ones do.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are getting ready to rehearse the play.]
Joey: Hey, Kate!
Kate: Morning.
Joey: Listen, I ah, went to that restaurant that you were talking about last week...
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
Joey: (to himself) And I ate the food, I had the fish, it was good, yeah. It was good, yeah...
Woman: Hi, oh, I'm Lauren, Kate's understudy.
Joey: Oh, hey! Joey Tribbiani.
Lauren: I know! I-I'm a big fan of yours.
Joey: (looks at her, shocked) What?!
Lauren: I used to umm, schedule my classes so I could watch Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: Get out of here, really?!
Lauren: Absolutely!
Joey: Yeah?
Lauren: Oh but then, they went and dropped you down that elevator shaft.
Joey: They gave me the shaft all right.
Lauren: (laughing) Oh, you're so funny. Listen, umm, what are you doing after rehearsals? Do you want to get a drink, or something?
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Lauren: Cool! I-I'll see you then.
Joey: All right.
The Director: All right, it's time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with her own dollhouse, that she made herself.]
Phoebe: Hey!
All: Hey!
Phoebe: Look everybody, look at my new dollhouse!!
Rachel: Wow!!
Phoebe: Look, look! (She lifts up the roof, and the front panel falls revealing the interior.)
Ross: Hey, what's this?!
Phoebe: Oh, okay, it's the slide instead of stairs. Watch this. (She slides a doll down the slide)
Monica: It's very interesting, Phoebe.
Rachel: What's this?
Phoebe: The Licorice Room, you can eat all the furniture. And, when guests come over, they can stay on the tootsie roll-away bed.
Ross: This is the coolest house ever!!
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
Phoebe: Hey, does anybody want to join me in the aroma room? (lights some incense)
Rachel: All right!
Ross: I would!
Monica: Hey, guys, guys, did you see my new, china cabinet?!
Ross and Rachel: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: Watch, watch. (She turns a strand of Christmas lights strung around the house.)
Ross and Rachel: Ooohhhh!!
Phoebe: And, and! (She turns on a bubble maker.)
Ross and Rachel: Ahhhh!!
Chandler: (entering) Hey, my Father's house does that!
Rachel: (to Chandler) O-o-o-okay, how did it go? Tell me everything.
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and there's nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Rachel: Hmm.
Chandler: Of course, I didn't get to enjoy any of that, because Joanna's such a big, dull dud!
[Scene: Rachel's office, Joanna's telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Rachel: What?!
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Y'know how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Rachel: Oh, I....
Joanna: Oh, and he's got such a good heart! Doesn't he have a good heart?
Rachel: Oh, I know...
Joanna: Oh, I know and he's soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Sophie: Isn't this great?!
Joanna: Don't spoil it.
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
[A phone rings.]
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! It's you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Joey: (to Kate) That guy's like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater you're dating.
Joey: Hey, I'm not interested in her sweater! It's what's underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who I'm going out with?
Kate: I don't care. Why, do you want me to care?
Joey: Do you want me to want you to care?
Kate: Do you?
Joey: What?
The Director: (returning) Okay, I'm afraid to say this, but let's pick it up where we left off.
[They resume rehearsing.]
Joey: Come on baby, don't go. Please? What do you say?
Kate: I've got no reason to stay.
(Joey grabs her and kisses her.)
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! I'll see you in the morning. (exits)
Kate: I can't believe we go on in, in a week.
Joey: Hey, it's gonna be all right.
Lauren: (to Joey) Hey! So since we're getting off early, do you want to go and paint mugs?
Joey: What?
Lauren: You know! At the place I told you about last night?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Lauren: Oh, okay.
Joey: Okay. (he gives her a peck on the cheek)
Lauren: I'll see you tomorrow. (she kisses him full on the mouth.)
Joey: Okay.
Lauren: G'night. (exits)
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Kate: Yeah, I guess. Look, what are we gonna do about this scene, huh?
Joey: I don't know.
Kate: Well umm, maybe if it had more heat.
Joey: How do you mean?
Kate: Well, Adrian's looking for a reason to stay, right? Victor can't just kiss her, he's gotta, gotta really give her a reason, y'know?
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Kate: And then she could rip off his shirt and kiss his chest, and, and his stomach!
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Kate: And then right, right when the scene ends, he could take her with this raw, animal....
[cut to Joey's bedroom, Joey and Kate are emerging from under the covers.]
Joey: Something like that?
Kate: Yeah, that's pretty much what I had in mind.
Joey: Yeah.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Monica are eating breakfast as Joey enters, very happily.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Ross: Hi.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
Ross: Hi.
Joey: Hey.
(He walks over behind Ross, thinks about it for a moment, and gives him a big hug.)
Ross: It's a little early to be drinkin'.
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Ross: Ohhhhh!
Monica: You're kidding?! That's great!
Joey: Oh, it was so amazing. After the (pause) love making...
Monica: Oh my.
Joey: Yep. I just, I just watched her sleep for like hours, just breathing in and breathing out. And then I knew she was dreaming 'cause, 'cause her eyes keep going like this. (He closes his eyes and moves them around, kinda like he's been processed by the devil, or something.)
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) I'm telling ya, Joanna's got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, 'This was fun. Let's do it again sometime. I'll give you a call.'
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks you're going to call her?
Chandler: That's what you say at the end of a date.
Rachel: You can't just say, 'Nice to meet you, good night?'
Chandler: To her face? Look it's the end of the date, I'm standing there, I know all she's waiting for is for me to say 'I'll call her' and it's just y'know, comes out. I can't help it, it's a compulsion.
Monica: Come on Rach, when a guy says he's going to call, it doesn't mean he's going to call. Hasn't it ever happened to you?
Rachel: Well, they always called.
Monica: Hmm, bite me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Rachel's office.]
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Rachel: No. Sorry.
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said he'd call. Why hasn't he called?
Sophie: Maybe he's intimated by really smart, strong, successful women.
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasn't he called, Rachel? Why?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Umm, well ah, maybe he, maybe he feels awkward because you are my boss.
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Rachel: Well...
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didn't tell him not to call me, did you?
Rachel: No. I...
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading a magazine as Rachel approaches.]
Rachel: (grabbing the magazine out of his hands) Call her! Call her now!
Chandler: Multiple, so many paper cuts.
Rachel: Why hasn't he called Rachel? Why? Why? I don't understand. Why? He said he'll call. Why? Why? Chandler I'm telling you she has flipped out, she's gone crazy!
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, well give me the phone then.
Rachel: Come on, this isn't funny. She thinks it's my fault that you haven't called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Look, you can't call somebody after this long just to say, 'In case you didn't notice, I don't like you!'
Rachel: Well then you're going to have to take her out again.
Chandler: Nooo!! She's really dull! And she gets this gross mascara goop thing in the corner of her eye!
Rachel: I don't care! I don't care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows it's actually ended. And, I don't care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Chandler: All right! Fine! But it's just a lunch date, no more than an hour! And from now on I get my own dates, I don't want you setting me up with anybody ever again!
Rachel: That's fine!
Chandler: That's just a lot of big talk, y'know.
Rachel: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Mon?
Monica: (from the bathroom) I'm in the shower!
[He closes the door and walks over to get something from the fridge. He starts to smell something and turns around to see Phoebe's dollhouse smoking. He runs over and takes off the roof to reveal that the dollhouse fire.]
Ross: Oh, fire! There, there's a fire! Fire!!
[He tries to blow it out, and obviously, it doesn't work. He runs over to the sink to get a glass of water to put out the fire, but since Monica is in the shower the water pressure is very low and takes a long time to fill the glass. In desperation he takes the half full glass over and dumps it on the fire, it doesn't work. He then picks up the dollhouse and considers bringing it over to the sink, but decides to take it into the bathroom and use the shower to put it out. He kicks open the door and we hear Monica scream at the top of her lungs.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Kate is arriving for rehearsal.]
Joey: Hey.
Kate: Hi.
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Kate: About what?
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Kate: Nooo. And there's really no reason he should find out, so ah let's not make a big deal about it, okay?
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you can't tell me last night didn't mean something to you. I-I was there, you're not that good an actress.
Kate: Look umm, I, I was, I was just caught up in the moment. That's all it was. Joey, I'm-I'm sorry you feel bad, but haven't you ever sleep with a women where it meant more to her than it did to you?
Joey: Nooo.
Lauren: (entering) Hi, Kate!
Kate: Hi, Lauren.
Joey: Hi, Lauren.
Lauren: Hi, pig!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are inspecting the damage to the dollhouse.]
Ross: Sorry I ah, I scared you in there.
Monica: Oh, that's okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Ross: Yeah.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey!
Monica: (runs over to her) I tried to reach you at work. There's....been a fire.
Phoebe: What?! Oh my... (sees the remains of the house) Oh my God!! What happened?!
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: All right. Did everyone get out okay?
Monica: Well, the giraffe's okay. And so is the pirate.
Phoebe: Ohh. What is this? (She sees a tissue covering something, and moves to remove it.)
Ross: No Phoebe, don't look! You don't want to see what's under there!!
Phoebe: (She pauses to ready herself, and removes the tissue.) Ohh, the-the Foster puppets!
(She picks up a charred piece of plastic that once was the Foster puppets, and starts to break down. Monica goes over and comforts her.)
[Scene: Rachel's office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Chandler: It's not a big deal. It's, just it's right here, (points to his eye) and it's all the time.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
(Rachel is slowing trying to leave and let them talk.)
Joanna: It was, wasn't it?
Chandler: The food there was, was great.
Joanna: Wasn't it?
Chandler: So take care.
Joanna: You too.
Chandler: Well, this was great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Joanna: Great! I'm looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Sophie's desk.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
Rachel: (whispering) Chandler!! Are you gonna call her!
Chandler: Noo!
Rachel: Chandler!!
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm weak, and pathetic, and sorry.
Rachel: Okay, you are going to tell her and you're going to tell her now. (She grabs his nipple and starts to twist it.)
Chandler: Ahhhh-I'm not going to call you.
Joanna: What?
Chandler: I'm sorry. I'm-I'm-I'm sorry that I said I was going to when I'm not. Look, this has nothing to do with you, y'know? And this isn't Rachel's fault. It's me. I have serious, serious problems when it comes to women. I have issues with commitment, intimacy, (pause) mascara goop. And I'm really sorry, it's just that this is not, this isn't going to work out.
Joanna: Well, this isn't how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Chandler: Yeah, o-okay.
Joanna: So...
Chandler: Well this is great! I'll give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
(Rachel is shocked, and holds her arms out in disbelief.)
Closing Credits
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what I'm saying is I should've considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. I've ah, I've recently learned what's it like to be on your side of it, and I'm sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, she's not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
|
Plan: A: Rachel; Q: Who regrets arranging a date for Chandler and her boss? A: Joanna; Q: Who is Rachel's boss? A: Kate; Q: Who does Joey become interested in? A: Monica; Q: Who invites Phoebe to help set up the dollhouse? A: Monica's aunt; Q: Who dies? A: a beautiful antique dollhouse; Q: What does Monica inherit? A: Phoebe's creative embellishments; Q: What does Monica get upset with Phoebe for? A: a sad end; Q: What happens to Phoebe's homemade dollhouse? Summary: Rachel regrets arranging a date for Chandler and her boss, Joanna. Joey's interest in Kate intensifies after they sleep together, but her relationship with the play's director complicates matters. Monica's aunt dies, leaving her a beautiful antique dollhouse. Monica invites Phoebe, who never had a dollhouse, to help her set it up, but gets upset with Phoebe's creative embellishments. Phoebe gets angry and brings over her homemade dollhouse, which meets a sad end.
|
[Atlanta Metro Hospital]
(Stefan's doppelganger enters with a patient)
Doppelganger: What's your name, huh? My name's Tom. You're gonna be all right
[Train Tracks]
(Sloan is still casting the spell on Stefan)
Sloan: His name is Tom Avery. I heard that much
[Atlanta Metro Hospital]
Tom: Pneumothorax. I need a 10-guage needle now
Doctor: We'll take it from here
Tom: If you don't do it now, she's not gonna make it to the operating table
[Train Tracks]
Sloan: Come on, Stefan. I need your help with the link. Tell me what you see. Tell me where to find your doppelganger
[Atlanta Metro Hospital]
Doctor: You're a piece of work, Avery. They must have broke the mold when they made you
[Train Tracks]
Stefan: Atlanta Metropolitan Hospital
Sloan: Good. Now your friends can go kill him
[Salvatore's House]
(Elena and Damon are in bed. She wakes up)
Damon: Morning, sunshine
Elena: Oh. Um... Did I wake you?
Damon: No. I've been up for 3 hours
Elena: Really? Because you didn't say a word
Damon: Neither did you
Elena: Well... ahem... that's because I didn't really have much to say.Nothing's changed. We're still bad for each other, and we are still broken up. Last night was a mistake
Damon: Maybe we should keep making mistakes. Big ones
Elena: Seriously, Damon, put some clothes on or at least get out of my way. I need to go
Damon: Your loss. I make one hell of a naked breakfast
[A Dinner in Atlanta]
(Caroline and Enzo are sitting at a table. His phone rings. He answers)
Enzo: Atlanta assassination squad. How may we be of service?
Sloan: I take it you haven't located the doppelganger yet
Enzo: You told us to find a nameless paramedic at the scene of a car accident in a city full of freeways, fried green tomatoes, and terrible drivers. It's not exactly as easy as it sounds
Sloan: Which is why I'm calling. The doppelganger's name is Tom Avery, and I just saw him deliver a patient to Atlanta Metro Hospital
Caroline: She saw him? She did the vision thing again? We had a deal. I find Stefan's last living doppelganger...
Sloan: Tom
Caroline: Tom. I take care of Tom, and in return, you stop using Stefan to psychically doppelbomb him because every time you link the two, you are frying Stefan's brain
Sloan: I don't give a damn about his brain. It's his blood that matters, and until Stefan and Elena are the last two doppelgangers on earth, their blood is useless to me, so you better believe that I will give Stefan a back-alley lobotomy if you fail to kill Tom Avery
Caroline: Well, I don't fail at things, so do it again and I'll kill you, too
(They hang up)
Enzo: "I'll kill you, too." You're like a perky blond angel of death. Almost had me convinced
[Mystic Grill]
(Damon is at the bar with Matt and Tyler)
Tyler: Breakfast of champions
Matt: Let me guess. This is about Elena
Damon: You know, that is so incredibly insightful, Donovan. You are really street smart from working behind that bar for... what is it... 3 years now?
Tyler: At least he's not looking for answers at the bottom of a glass
Damon: Tyler Lockwood's now a life coach despite running his own life into the ground. Perfect
Matt: If you wanted advice, why didn't you just talk to Stefan?
Damon: Because it's difficult to explain to your brother that you just broke up with the former love of his life and then broke the bed
Tyler: Who TMI
Damon: Besides, I've got you two idiots, Mystic Falls' amateur therapists
Matt: I'm only listening to you because I'm getting paid
Damon: Less and less by the second. Anyway, Stefan's not an option. He's off doing some research project with Caroline. Don't worry, wolf boy. I'm sure they're just friends
(Liv rejoins them and looks at Matt)
Liv: Bottle of gin, and let me see you break the seal. What can I say? I got issues
Damon: Whoa! Pull up a chair, girl. Tell the professionals your problems. Just talk slow and use small words
Liv: Thanks, but never, ever. Bye
(She leaves)
Damon: Well boys, I hate to cut the session short but unlike you, I have other places to be today. Don't worry. I will be back because I have some deep, dark childhood trauma that I'm just itching to talk about
(He leaves)
[Mystic Falls' High School]
(Elena is waiting in line for the parent-teacher conference)
Guidance Counselor: As the guidance counselor, you'll first meet with me individually, and then you'll have an open house with your child's teachers
(While she's waiting, Elena calls Bonnie)
Elena: Hey, Bon
Bonnie: Hey. I got your text.What's the friend emergency?
Elena: Damon and I broke up.It's final
Bonnie: Oh, my God. When did it happen?
Elena: Last night
Bonnie: But you didn't come home last night
Elena: Uh, that's because I slept with him
Bonnie: Oh
Elena: Post breakup
Bonnie: Ohh
Elena: Was that irresponsible?
Bonnie: Probably. Does Jeremy know that you and Damon definitely maybe broke up?
Elena: No. He wasn't at the house last night thankfully
Bonnie: Well, that's weird. I mean, he didn't mention anything to me. If he wasn't at home, where was he?
Elena: I don't know. That doesn't really help with the whole irresponsible thing, does it? Bonnie?
Bonnie: Sorry. Katherine's cute BFF just showed up
Elena: I think his name is Luke
Bonnie: I have an idea. Since you and Damon are officially over...
Elena: Nice try, but, um, I'm pretty sure Damon is more of his type
Bonnie: They'd be cute, too
Elena: Ha! Oh, look, Bonnie. I have to go. Thanks for listening
(She hangs up and sits down)
Elena: Hey, Mrs. Douglas
Mrs. Douglas: Elena, it's good to see you
Elena: You, too
Mrs. Douglas: Although you're not on the list as Jeremy's primary contact
Elena: Then who is?
Damon: Damon Salvatore. Present. Pardon me
[Atlanta Metro Hospital]
(Caroline is at the reception)
Caroline: Thanks
(She rejoins Enzo)
Caroline: So the receptionist doesn't know Tom personally, but I compelled her to call someone who does
Enzo: Ok. I give up. I can't tell if you're avoiding the mission or me
Caroline: Well, why can't it be both?
Enzo: Because I've earned some company after hand-delivering the antidote that kept Damon and Elena from consuming each other literally
Caroline: That doesn't mean I trust you. I still don't understand why you're even here
Enzo: Damon's trying to be a good boy these days, which means I'm in need of a new murder buddy. I'm joking. I joke. British humor. Ah. Modern women, all bosoms, no mystery, present company excluded
Caroline: Dear God! Please don't tell me that I'm the real reason that you're here
Enzo: Why not? From what Damon tells me, I am your type... well-traveled, charming accent, dodgy morals
Caroline: Arrogant, tactless, completely unable to take a hint
Enzo: Precisely. I have to be honest, you remind me of someone I once knew. She worked for the Augustine's
Caroline: Which means she tortured you. I can definitely relate to that
Enzo: Maggie was only there to observe my behavior in captivity. I quite liked her actually
Caroline: Let me guess. She made you want to be a better man
Enzo: Not at all. She just reminded me that I was good all along
(A doctor rejoins them)
Doctor: You were asking about Tom Avery?
Caroline: Yes. We need to see him as soon as possible. It's, uh... it's a matter of life and death
Doctor: I wish I could help. Tom Avery was a pain in my ass, but he was also the best paramedic I ever met
Enzo: What do you mean "was"?
Doctor: He disappeared 4 months ago
[A Scrap Yard]
(Sloan is with Stefan)
Stefan: We moved. Why?
Sloan: They don't call us Travelers for our mileage points
Stefan: I know this place. We're right outside of Mystic Falls
Sloan: Believe me, I'd rather be at the beach right now, but this is where we're supposed to meet our fearless leader
Stefan: Markos, right? You said he wants our blood. Why?
(His phone rings. She answers)
Sloan: I hope you're calling to tell me the doppelganger's dead
Caroline: Your stupid doppelvisions gave us bad information. Put Stefan on the phone
Stefan: Caroline, what happened?
Caroline: Tom has been missing from the hospital for months. Is there any other things that you noticed in your visions, any small details that could maybe help us out?
Stefan: No. I... I can't remember anything. After the spell happened, it's like I blacked out
Sloan: The link connects us to the doppelganger's mind. If we're seeing old memories, that means we have to go deeper
Caroline: No, no, no. If he's blacking out, that means that the link is destroying his memories. Stefan? Stefan. Stefan, are you still with me? Stefan, I'm still here.Listen to my voice. Can you hear me? I'm right here, ok? Just hold on
Stefan's Vision
[A Parking Lot]
(A woman approaches Tom)
Woman: Excuse me? Hi. Are you Tom Avery?
Tom: The one and only.What can I do for you, miss, uh...
Woman: Hazel, and you already did it actually. It's my friend Trish.The doctor said you saved her life last night.
Tom: Eh, I was just doing my job
Hazel: Can I buy you dinner to thank you, I mean? Oh, God. I am so bad at this
Tom: How's 7:00?
Hazel: Perfect. You can pick me up at 6643 Peachtree Drive, hopefully not in an ambulance
Present Time
[A Scrap Yard]
(Sloan is still performing the spell on Stefan)
Caroline: Can you hear me? Just say something, please
Stefan: Caroline, I'm here. 6643 Peachtree Drive. It was a red-haired woman, and her name's Hazel
Caroline: Ok. Thank you. I won't let you down
Stefan: Caroline, he's a good person. Don't do it
Sloan: Clock's ticking
[Mystic Falls' High School]
(Damon and Elena are waiting in a classroom, alone)
Damon: Clock's busted. What am I paying my PTA dues for? I am gonna file a complaint
Elena: Is that why you're here?
Damon: You left me in charge of Jeremy when you went off to Whitmore. I've had this on my calendar for months
Elena: Really? So no other reason?
Damon: Why? Is there something else you want to talk about? Oh, come on. Don't pretend like you're not still tingly from this morning
Elena: Can we just focus on Jeremy, please?
Damon: Right. Ok. Well, speaking of hypotheticals, if Jeremy was running around with another girl, would you want to know about it?
Elena: What are you talking about? What girl?
Damon: Bonnie's little witch trainee Liv. I saw her and Jeremy sharing a top-shelf bottle of inhibition killer at the grill this morning
Elena: Jeremy wouldn't do that to Bonnie
Damon: Again. Need I remind you, he once had an affair with a ghost? And the only thing that was missing was a sappy love song and a pottery wheel
Elena: He learned his lesson. Jeremy's not a cheater
(The guidance counselor enters)
Mrs. Douglas: Ok. Sorry to keep you waiting. Bad news first.Jeremy's missed 11 days of school. He started 3 fights, and he's been caught cheating in math class twice
Damon: Cheating? That's so not like him.Go on, please
Mrs. Douglas: I'm sorry. You are Elena's...
Damon: Ex-boyfriend...ex, right?
Elena: Can we not talk about this right now?
Mrs. Douglas: Actually, it's relevant. Most problems in school are rooted in problems at home. Jeremy's in desperate need of a stable living situation. People who care about giving him that more than their own needs...
Damon: I think he's in desperate need of a less judgy counselor
Elena: We do care, we really do. We'll... We'll do better
Mrs. Douglas: I hope so for Jeremy's sake
[A House]
(Caroline and Enzo arrive at a house)
Enzo: It's a miracle we found the place. Every other street in this blasted city is Peachtree
Caroline: These look old. Like, 4 months old
Enzo: 70 years in a cage, think I'd have learned to pick a lock by now
Caroline: Red hair. That's her. She's a witch. And she must own the house
Enzo: Not for long
Caroline: Why did you do that? She was our only lead
Enzo: Exactly, and I am a murderous vampire. Surprise!
[Whitmore College]
(Luke keeps looking at Bonnie and she notices)
Bonnie: Hey. Hey. Can I help you?
Luke: Oh. Huh?
Bonnie: You just keep looking over there. I thought maybe you wanted to say something
Luke: Oh, no. No. I'm just studying unless you're an expert in wave mechanics
Bonnie: Mmm. Science isn't really my thing
(Hazel appears)
Hazel: You're the anchor. If I'm here, that means I'm dead. Tell him I failed. Tell him I was trying to hide the doppelganger with magic, but they found us
Bonnie: What are you talking about? Who are you?
Hazel: Hazel. He'll know the rest
(She passes through Bonnie)
Luke: Oh. Hey, hey, hey. Are you ok?
Bonnie: She said she knew you. How did she know you?
Luke: Who?
Bonnie: Someone named Hazel. She had a message for you
[Mystic Grill]
(Jeremy is still with Liv)
Jeremy: What the hell is a silencing spell?
Liv: Just a little bit of magic. It keeps nosey hybrid types from snooping
(Tyler and Matt are at the bar)
Tyler: So what's up with those two?
Matt: Cliff notes... Liv goes to Whitmore, she's a new witch,and Bonnie's teaching her magic
Tyler: You left out the part about her being hot. Like, weird hot
Matt: You're the one with, you know, vamp ears. What are they talking about?
Tyler: I have no idea. I can't hear anything
Liv: You're here because you're a hunter. That means that you can't be mind-controlled by Travelers. That officially makes you the only person in this room that I can trust
Jeremy: Ok. So trust me. Tell me what's going on
Liv: There's a rumor going around in witch circles. The Travelers are up to something big
Jeremy: I thought Travelers were witches
Liv: Not quite. They're more like the ugly stepsister. Travelers have a grudge against anyone that draws their magic from nature, something about witches cursing the land to turn it against them. Now they're on the move. Next stop... here
Jeremy: Mystic Falls? Why?
Liv: Your sister. Turns out Elena's friends are right. The world actually does revolve around her, so if you want to keep her safe, you're gonna have to help me figure out what the Travelers are up to
Jeremy: Is everything ok?
Liv: It will be
Jeremy: Wait. You lay all this on me, and now you're just leaving?
Liv: You were plan A. Plans change
(Tyler rejoins them)
Tyler: It's rude to leave Jeremy hanging, even for a newbie witch
Liv: Motus! Not a newbie witch, FYI
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Mystic Falls' High School]
(Elena and Damon are in the hallways)
Elena: Just because Jeremy's a bad student doesn't meant that he's cheating on Bonnie
Damon: You're making excuses for someone you love. That's what you do. The worst the behavior, the more you try and defend
Elena: And you keep trying to make this about us
Damon: Yeah, because you keep trying to make it about anything else
Elena: You know what? Fine. But don't pretend that you came here for Jeremy. If you want to talk about last night, talk
Damon: Here's the thing, Elena. I don't know what to say or do or think. All I know is that right now I want to rip your clothes off right here in the middle of this hall and throw you in one of these classrooms and kiss every square inch of your body while a bunch of people that drive minivans listen, wishing they were us. That's probably a bad idea, right?
Elena: Right
Damon: Right
Elena: See you in class
[A House]
Enzo: She was in a bloody trance, unable to answer questions. I don't see why you're mad. I'm only doing what's necessary to save your friend because you won't
Caroline: You don't think that I'm up for this?
Enzo: This being the cold-blooded murder of an innocent man? You can hardly say the word. How do you expect to actually do it?
Caroline: I'm sorry. Is this all supposed to be easy? You barely know me, so let me reintroduce myself. Hi. My name is Caroline Forbes, and I am a good vampire, and I don't just go around killing people
Enzo: You've got me all wrong, Caroline Forbes. I'm not judging you. I'm preparing you. I've seen soldiers, men trained to kill, look their enemy in the eye and freeze up on the battlefield, a hesitation that usually cost them their lives
Caroline: Well, last time I checked, this isn't war, and I'm not a soldier, but Stefan is one of the best people that I know, and when it comes to saving his life, yes, I will do just about anything... What's that sound?
Enzo: The tell-tale heart
(They enter the basement and find Tom)
Enzo: Why would a witch go to such lengths to keep a man alive and off the grid for 4 months?
Caroline: 4 months ago, Silas died, the original Stefan-ganger
Enzo: He's a dead ringer all right, or rather, soon to be dead
Caroline: Tom? Tom? Tom Avery?
Enzo: Caroline, let me do this. Just walk away now, go upstairs...
Caroline: No, no. I'm the one who made the deal. This is on me no matter what
Enzo: Or maybe you just can't stand the thought of putting Stefan's life in anyone's hands but your own
(Tom wakes up)
Tom: What's happening? Who are you people?
Enzo: We're angels, mate, come to deliver you to the sweet hereafter
Caroline: Calm down. You can trust me
Enzo: Bonding with him will only make it harder on you
Caroline: Let me do this my way. I'm your friend, and you mean the world to me. Do you trust me?
Tom: Of course
Caroline: Good. Now I promise, you won't feel a thing
Tom: What's going on?
Caroline: I'm getting you out of here
[Whitmore College]
(Bonnie and Luke enter her dorm)
Bonnie: So you're Liv's twin brother and a witch? Anything else I should know?
Luke: Look. Please don't be mad at Liv, ok? My family's kind of messed up
Bonnie: I'm not mad. I'm creeped out. Why have you been watching me all day? We're not done
(She answers her phone)
Bonnie: Hey Jer
Jeremy: Is Elena with you? I think she's in trouble
Bonnie: No. She's at your school today, remember?What's going on?
Jeremy: Liv is up to something. She said Elena is important to the Travelers
Bonnie: Liv? Since when do you two talk?
Jeremy: Look. I'll tell you everything later, but I got to go find Elena
[Mystic Falls' High School]
(Elena and Damon are alone in a classroom, once again)
Damon: Lucky us. First ones here
Elena: Shut up
Damon: You ok?
Elena: Shh. I said no talking
(She was actually day dreaming. She's in a classroom with Damon and other parents. A teacher is talking to them)
Damon: Elena. Elena. Hey, Elena. Elena. Elena. Earth to Elena
Teacher: I tell my students chemistry is about attraction and reaction. Sometimes, it's beautiful
Damon: Hey. You're missing an incredibly boring presentation
Elena: I need some air
Teacher: It's the more destructive reactions that your students are the most interested in, and that's the meaning of applied science
(Elena is alone, taking the air she needed. Liv rejoins her)
Liv: Elena Gilbert. Just the girl I'm looking for
Elena: Liv? Hey. What are you doing here? Is this about Jeremy?
Liv: No. This is about you.Sorry about this. My coven did everything in its power to protect you, but you're just too dangerous now
Elena: I don't know what you're talking about
Liv: And you never will
(Damon intervenes and knocks her out)
Elena: Oh god
Damon: Little tip. If you're gonna show up to kill someone, don't waste time feeling bad about it
[A Dinner]
(Tom is with Caroline)
Tom: You know, Hazel seemed nice, so, you know; I figured why not have dinner? So I showered, I picked her up, and that was it. That was the last thing I remember for 4 months
Caroline: She kidnapped you that night, locked you up ever since and hid you away from anyone that knew magic
Tom: Oh. Like you said, she was a real witch
Caroline: Yeah
Tom: I don't know why I'm telling you my whole life story
Caroline: It's because I compelled you to and to stay calm and to not worry
Tom: Hmm. Why do you want to know so much about me?
Caroline: I just want to make sure that you're a good guy, no skeletons in the closet, that sort of thing
Tom: And?
Caroline: And... You are just about one of the nicest people I have ever met
Tom: Well, likewise because I do remember you saving my life, so if there's anything that I can do to repay you, let me know
Caroline: Uh, what I need from you isn't something I can take
Tom: I don't understand
Caroline: Well, you don't have to. You just remind me of someone who's really important to me
Tom: Well, he's one hell of a lucky guy
Caroline: Heh. Yeah. So are you because after this, you're gonna get on the train, ride until you find a place that you like, meet a pretty girl, settle down, and be happy for the rest of your long, long life. Just go easy on the carbs. They're a killer
[Mystic Falls' High School]
(Damon is torturing Liv)
Elena: Enough!
Damon: Hardly. She was two seconds away from killing you. I want to know why, so I am gonna rip this nasty rag out of your mouth. If I hear so much as one syllable of hocus-pocus, one of us is gonna break your neck. Spoiler alert... it's gonna be me. Talk. All right
Elena: Damon, stop!
Damon: You do not to get to tell me what to do anymore. We broke up, remember?
Elena: This is exactly why we broke up. Please tell me you understand that
Liv: Oh, my God. Just kill me already
Damon: Tempting, but not until you talk
Liv: She's the last female doppelganger. After tonight, there might only be one male doppelganger, and if that happens, the Travelers will come for you, Elena, to use you. The witches can't let that happen
Damon: If it's between you or this psychopath, Elena, you know what I have to do
Elena: And if you do, then what? Am I supposed to hate you or resent you or forgive you?
Damon: Well, that's your choice. The only way you're gonna get to make it is if you are alive. Please tell me you understand that
(Jeremy arrives)
Jeremy: Are you freaking kidding me? You want to kill Liv, you're gonna have to kill me, too
(Luke arrives and sees Tyler and Matt)
Luke: Who are you?
Matt: Friends of Jeremy and Elena
Tyler: Even Damon sometimes
Matt: Oh, and don't forget Bonnie. She's the one who told us you might be here
Luke: Well, blood's thicker than water, and my sister's in there, so...
Tyler: Yeah. She showed us that trick before
Jeremy: What are you waiting for, Damon? Go on. Wouldn't be the first time you killed me
Elena: Jeremy
Damon: She tried to stake your sister, you idiot. She's gonna do it again
Jeremy: No, she won't. She is gonna help keep Elena safe. I will make sure of that
Damon: How? You can't even get a passing grade in penmanship
Jeremy: Trust me, I won't let anyone hurt you
Elena: Jer, after all the things that you've been pulling at school, how could I trust you?You haven't exactly been making good decisions, ok?
Jeremy: How do you expect me to care about school when this is my life? How I mean, take a look around. It's not like I can bring my teachers a note saying, "Hey. Sorry I missed class today. We were under a doppelganger invasion." But I know what I'm doing. Please.Liv knows more about the Travelers than she's letting on
Elena: Let's go, Damon
Damon: You can't be serious
Elena: I trust him, ok, and right now, I really need you to trust me
(Liv is outside with Luke)
Liv: Where the hell were you?
Luke: Look. We wouldn't even be here if you would have just killed Elena
Liv: I was almost turned into an ashtray or whatever crap they make in wood shop. Thanks for the brotherly concern.
(Jeremy rejoins them)
Jeremy: So here's plan C. You're gonna protect Elena, and I'm gonna help you stop the Travelers
Luke: You realize this is an epic conflict of interest?
Liv: Maybe not. Jeremy's got hunter skills, and he's not afraid to take a stand. If the Travelers are coming for his sister or making a move on Mystic Falls or both, he's gonna see it coming before we do. So what's the catch?
Jeremy: I'm gonna need some help
Luke: More townies. No
Jeremy: They're part of the deal. Take it or leave it
[A Parking Lot]
(Tom and Caroline are going to the car)
Tom: I don't think I've ever eaten so much in my life
Caroline: Yeah. I don't think anyone has
Enzo: Then I suppose it was a fitting last supper
(He kills Tom)
Caroline: No! Why the hell did you do that?
Enzo: Because you're not the only one who cut a deal to save someone's life. That old flame I mentioned... Maggie... the Travelers claim they know where to find her
Caroline: Yeah. Well, if she's anything like me, then she just lost all respect for you
Enzo: Then I'll earn her forgiveness in time because unlike you, Caroline, I'm willing to do whatever it takes for the people I love. The Travelers moved to some junkyard just outside Mystic Falls. Feel free to tell Stefan you're the one who saved his life
[Salvatore's House]
(Damon and Elena are in the living room)
Damon: Penny for your thoughts
Elena: I'm thinking Mrs. Douglas is right
Damon: The guidance counselor? What the hell does she know about the crap that we're dealing with?
Elena: She spelled it out for us, Damon. It's not that we're bad for each other. We're bad for Jeremy
Damon: Jeremy's whole life is bad for Jeremy. You want to fix Jeremy, put him on a plane, get him out of town. We did what he wanted, remember? Against my better judgment, I might add
(Jeremy enters)
Damon: Man of the hour.Where you going, little Gilbert?
Jeremy: Matt and Tyler said I could stay at their place for a while
Elena: What? No, Jer. You don't have to do that
Damon: Put the bags down. We'll talk about this in the morning
Jeremy: No, we won't.I should have moved out a long time ago
Elena: Jeremy, I know things have been a little crazy lately...
Jeremy: You know that they're always gonna be crazy, and I need to figure out how to deal with crazy on my own. Right now, this is what's best for me, for all of us. I'm not asking for permission
Elena: Ok. I'll... I'll call every day, and I'll make sure to stay more involved
[A Scrap Yard]
(Caroline rejoins Stefan)
Caroline: Stefan? Hey
Stefan: Hey. Are you...?
Caroline: A big, fat failure? Yep, but on the bright side, I'm also exhausted and very cranky
Stefan: It's good to see you anyway. So you want to tell me what happened?
Caroline: I just did. I failed. I couldn't kill him, Stefan, not even to save you
Stefan: You do realize that you're feeling guilty for not being able to kill somebody, right?
Caroline: No. I'm feeling guilty because you're still being held prisoner
Stefan: Come on, Caroline. They were never gonna let me out. I'm too important to them
Caroline: Well, you're even more important now. Enzo killed Tom
Stefan: Yet another reason to hate Enzo, I guess
Caroline: God. I should have seen it coming, that whole flirty "Oh, I'm so charming because I want to distract you" thing. I practically invented that. What do we now?
Stefan: We go to sleep
Caroline: What? That's heroic
Stefan: Well, the hero part of my brain needs to recharge after, you know, being tortured all day while you were out flirting with yet another British man
Caroline: shut up. That's very funny
Stefan: We gather our strength, wait for an opportunity, get the hell out of here together
Caroline: You knew.That's why you let me go because you knew the whole time, didn't you?
Stefan: I knew what?
Caroline: That I couldn't do it
Stefan: Not that you couldn't do it, that you wouldn't do it
Caroline: How?
Stefan: Because that's what makes you you
[Salvatore's House]
(Damon rejoins Elena in his room)
Damon: Something tells me you're not packing for our honeymoon
Elena: I'm going back to campus
Damon: You realize that you leaving doesn't solve anything, right? I mean, especially now that Jeremy's free and clear of our horrible influence
Elena: It's not about Jeremy. It's about us. It's not just that we're bad for each other. It's that when we're together we do bad things for each other. I can't live like that
Damon: I'll drive you to Whitmore
Elena: If you do that, then I'm gonna spend the entire car ride thinking about your hand next to mine, and even though I'll try, I won't be able to stop myself from taking it or from letting you kiss me, and we're never gonna get to where we need to go. We'll just end up back here where we started. That's why I need you to let me go. No, Damon
Damon: Travel safe
[Whitmore College]
(Bonnie is leaving a voicemail to Jeremy)
Bonnie: Hey, Jer. Um, I haven't heard back. I have a million questions, so I miss you, and I'm a little confused, that's all. Call me?
[A Scrap Yard]
(Stefan and Caroline wake up. They hear noise and go see what's happening)
Caroline: What the hell is that?
Stefan: Those buckets... they're drinking my blood and Elena's
Caroline: Oh, my God
Stefan: This is it. Here. Take my hand
[Whitmore University]
(Bonnie sees the travelers and they all go through her. She screams)
|
Plan: A: Tom Avery; Q: Who is the new doppelgänger of Stefan Salvatore? A: an EMT; Q: What is Tom Avery's profession? A: Caroline; Q: Who snaps Enzo's neck? A: Atlanta; Q: Where are Caroline and Enzo going to kill Tom Avery? A: Elena; Q: Who goes to Parent-Teacher Conferences? A: Damon; Q: Who shows up as Elena's primary contact at the parent-teacher conference? A: Stefan's mind; Q: Where do the Travelers dig deeper for visions of Tom Avery? A: Jeremy with Liv at the Grill; Q: Who did Damon see Jeremy with at the Grill? A: a lead; Q: What do Caroline and Enzo follow to find Tom Avery? A: Hazel; Q: Who is the witch that Enzo and Caroline find? A: Luke; Q: Who does Hazel give a message to Bonnie for? A: the witches house; Q: Where do Caroline and Enzo find Tom Avery? A: Enzo's neck; Q: Who does Caroline snap the neck of? A: Maggie; Q: Who was the girl who was kind to Enzo in captivity? A: Damon tortures; Q: What does Damon do to Liv? A: a deal; Q: What do Jeremy, Matt and Tyler make with Liv and Luke? A: the Travelers camp; Q: Where does Caroline go to get Stefan? A: their leader; Q: Who appears from Bonnie? Summary: A new Doppelgänger of Stefan Salvatore is introduced as Tom Avery, an EMT, and Caroline and Enzo are on their way to kill him in Atlanta. Elena goes to Parent-Teacher Conferences, but Damon shows up as his primary contact. Tom Avery disappeared, so the Travelers dig deeper in Stefan's mind for visions of him. Damon tells Elena he saw Jeremy with Liv at the Grill. Enzo and Caroline follow a lead to a witch named Hazel, but Enzo kills her. Her ghost shows up to Bonnie and gives her a message for Luke about hiding the doppelgänger. Caroline and Enzo find Tom Avery in the witches house, but Caroline can't find it in her to kill him and instead, she snaps Enzo's neck and leaves with Tom. Liv tries to kill Elena but is stopped by Damon. Caroline sets Tom free, but Enzo kills him to find the girl who was kind to him in captivity, Maggie. Damon tortures Liv into talking, saying the Travelers want there to be only one of each doppelgänger left. Jeremy, Matt and Tyler make a deal with her and Luke to spare Elena. Jeremy then moves out of Damon's house. At the camp, Caroline returns to the Travelers camp to get Stefan. The Travelers perform a ritual and go to the other side and their leader appears coming out from Bonnie.
|
Raylan: Previously on "Justified"...
Ava: Never saw a pizza place with a ... a... What is that thing?
Mundo: It's a bank vault.
John-O: There ain't no version of this story that ends with us selling our home to some peacock.
Walker: You call me a peacock?
Katherine: How's Ava doing, Boyd? It must have been quite a shock, her getting out of prison the way she did.
Wynn: We can't gang up on him, Katherine.
Katherine: You're as concerned about her release as I was.
Vasquez: It is outlining the terms of your confidential informant arrangement with the U.S. Attorney's office where you stipulate that you will obtain relevant information that may lead to charges against Boyd Crowder.
Boyd: I was enjoying my morning constitutional, and lo and behold, what do I find but a stack of real-estate deeds and a ledger that I believe belong to you.
Boyd: Since you got out, sometimes I feel like I don't know who you are anymore.
Ava: Tell you what. You come on over here, and I'll remind you.
6x04 "The Trash and the Snake"
[cellphone chimes, vibrates]
Ava: Morning.
Boyd: Morning.
Ava: Are you off somewhere?
Boyd: I am.
Thought about letting you sleep, take full advantage of this king-size. Sneaking out just didn't seem right.
Ava: Mm. When you think you'll be back? Little bit? You gone all day?
Boyd: I'll be back this afternoon.
Ava: Good.
Boyd: Good? Wait a second. Ain't that supposed to be bad? [laughs] No. I was just thinking take advantage, see about a massage. I don't know. Something nice.
Boyd: Getting used to the good life, huh?
Ava: Mm-hmm.
Boyd: Well, go on.
[chuckles]
Boyd: I'm just happy I got to hear your voice before I go.
Ava: Wait.
Be careful. Always.
[door opens, closes]
Ava: [sighs]
Raylan: What brings you to Lexington?
Ava: Boyd came to meet his masters.
And he brought you along?
Ava: Oh, he sprung for the lovebird package.
Raylan: Ava, if you're trying to tell me you're sleeping with him, Just so we're clear, I ain't asking you to do that.
Ava: Are you asking me not to?
Raylan: I understand you got to do what you got to do in a situation like yours.
Ava: You think everything is something else. You don't think it could be real? I'm a person. I get lonely, scared.
Raylan: Remind me why we're here.
Ava: [chuckles] You mean in this stairwell instead of a room, two of us, champagne on ice?
Raylan: Av...
[door opens]
Ava: What's it like, holding someone's fate in your hands?
Raylan: Drinking make you a deep thinker?
Ava: Oh, I'm straight. I want to know ... is it a burden, or is it what gets you out of bed in the morning?
Raylan: What gets me out of bed lately is helping you fulfill your agreement with us so you don't have to go back to prison.
Ava: [sighs]
Avery Markham paid us a visit yesterday. Sounds vaguely familiar.
Ava: Has a smell of sulphur to him. Boyd knew him by reputation. Seemed respectful.
Raylan: So it wasn't a friendly chat.
Ava: He brought along a real psycho case. Warned Boyd off any future pursuits.
Raylan: Tight hair, bushy beard? So, Boyd thought he was pulling off a small-potatoes heist, and what he was doing was pissing off the big bad wolf.
Ava: This helps, don't it? Nice to put a face to the shot caller.
Ava: So... ...don't say you and me don't have a special relationship.
Raylan: Did I say that? Boyd must be wetting his pants thinking about all them piles and piles of money. No wonder you're scared.
Ava: [gasps]
Katherine: I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean to startle you.
Ava: Can I help you? [chuckles] Where's my manners? I'm Katherine Hale. They gave me a key 'cause I'm paying for the room. I did call you, but, um, you didn't pick up.
Ava: I was just out having a smoke.
Katherine: Ah. Anyway, I thought it would be nice if you and I had lunch.
Ava: Okay.
Katherine: Great. I'll order room service to my suite. Noon?
Ava: Sure.
Katherine: 423. Did you forget your cigarettes?
Ava: Excuse me?
Katherine: When you went out.
Ava: I just smoke 'em one at a time.
Katherine: Next time you step out for one, you let me know. I don't smoke anymore, but I love standing next to people who still do.
Ava: Okay. [both laugh] Next time.
[door opens]
Art: I don't have too much unofficial case memory, Raylan.
Raylan: Just give me whatever your addled old brain can muster.
Art: I pulled in a few of Markham's men over the years.
Maybe one or two run-ins with the man himself, but... 14 years ago.
Raylan: Why are you so crotchety? Don't act like you ain't thrilled to use your old cop head for a minute, or did you want to get back to the 400th hour of cable news?
Art: It obviously hasn't occurred to you that this pain bullshit gets in the way of a lot of clear thinking.
Raylan: I apologize.
Art: Not to mention the fact that Leslie's been waiting on me hand and foot and feeling sorry for me, and that sh1t gets old. And I know she's sick of me, and I know she'd rather be doing yoga with her hippie friends, so I had to practically shove her out the door 'cause I'm hungry and I'm sick of eating all of her healthy twigs and cat food sh1t.
Raylan: Well, you tell her I said hey, huh?
Art: Grady Hale and Markham, his partner, made their mint slinging weed.
Raylan: Grady Hale being Katherine Hale's husband?
Art: Yeah. And when Grady Hale went to jail, Markham went nobody-knew-where.
Raylan: You saying Markham flipped? Somebody did. As far as I know, the only person that ever knew the name of the snitch was U.S. Attorney Simon Poole, And he forgot that when they blew half his head off with a shotgun on the corner of Limestone and Barr.
Was Markham a rat?
Seems like Poole let it slip one time that his snitch was out of the weed business, but... you know, maybe when my cable runs out, I'll look into it.
Raylan: Hmm.
Art: Now, that's how you fry a damn egg.
Raylan: Why? Why what?
Raylan: Any of it. What's it all mean?
Art: Well, you're gonna nail Boyd Crowder and move to Florida ... what do you care?
Raylan: It's interesting. Spins this thing a whole another way, hmm?
Art: Mm-hmm. Sheds new light on an ever-spreading circle of greed and evil and murder and mayhem.
Raylan: Oh, okay.
Art: When you stray from the trail, Raylan, that's when you get lost.
Raylan: I know that, Art. I do. But something's pulling me on.
Art: Mm-hmm. Something's pulling you away from nailing Boyd and getting down to Florida.
Raylan: Your mama asks you to take out the trash, you do as she says, but you see a copperhead on the way out, you don't go back inside, say you didn't do nothing because all she asked was take out the trash. You take out the trash and the snake.
Art: Didn't your mama ever tell you that there's always another snake?
Raylan: I knew you'd say that.
Art: Raylan, if you declare war on them all, they're just gonna outbreed you and outlast you and bring you down for good.
Raylan: You telling me not to do the job?
Art: No. I'm telling you not to get your ass bit.
[title theme]
♪ On this lonely road, trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome, pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul, god, get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard, fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road, trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome, pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪
Raylan: We can't make sense of your C.Y.A. book. Safe to assume the names herein are landowners? This room ain't bugged. Won't nobody know we spoke.
Tim: These landowners are in the ledger 'cause Avery Markham has designs on buying?
Calhoun: Or has already bought.
Raylan: How many? How many have lines through them?
Tim: Many.
Raylan: A line through a name means...?
Calhoun: [sighs] Cash was offered and accepted.
Raylan: What's it mean a name has a line through it and a circle?
Calhoun: Means first offer declined, counteroffer accepted.
Raylan: Red Crowell's name was circled and a line through it. How'd you sweeten the deal?
Calhoun: Upped the offer $50,000.
Tim: Nothing else?
Raylan: You know there was a fire there a week ago?
Calhoun: Sad. Red lost everything. Had to move in with his kin down in Nashville.
Tim: We stopped by. Place burned to the concrete footings.
Calhoun: The house was a wreck. There was wires hanging out everywhere. Mess, too. Looked like he was hoarding for the rapture.
Tim: Talked to the chief. He ruled out foul play, though he did note there were more fires in town as of late.
Calhoun: Murphy's law ... simplest explanation is usually correct.
Tim: You mean Occam's razor.
Calhoun: Occam's razor, Thor's hammer, who gives a sh1t? Like as not, it's folks looking for the insurance.
Raylan: No, not Red Crowell.
Calhoun: Look, they're big talkers, but that's real estate. I don't think they're bad men.
Tim: And yet you're spooked so much that we got to pull it out of you.
Calhoun: I'm just saying Markham wants land, he doesn't have to work that hard for it. He goes five miles down the road. He can buy whatever he wants. Not if the pot king of Colorado's got his sights set on Harlan.
Calhoun: If he and his coadjutors want to seize an opportunity in the land of the Christmas tree weed, who are we to fetter progress?
Raylan: Don't give a sh1t about his business agenda. Though I worry about those who stand in his way. That include you?
Calhoun: Look, fellas, I've been helpful, right? [i]Are we wrapping this up? I have a speech to write. Twisting my stomach in knots.
Raylan: Running for mayor again?
Calhoun: No. I've had a rough day. I have to eulogize a friend tonight.
Raylan: Sorry to hear it.
Calhoun: Pillar of the community.
She and her husband died in the damn strangest accident.
Tim: What kind of accident?
Calhoun: Furnace took a sh1t. Carbon monoxide killed them both in their sleep.
Raylan: Who we talking about? Betty and John-O Hutchins.
Raylan: Betty Hutchins the English teacher?
Calhoun: Same.
Tim: Hutchins was a name on the list.
Raylan: Circled and X'd out.
Calhoun: That means more than one offer was made. Both refused.
Katherine: You were a cheerleader in high school.
Ava: I was.
Katherine: I always wanted to be a cheerleader. Football games, I'd sit high up in those stands and watch those girls bouncing in their skirts, see how all the players ... well, everyone, really, was just mesmerized by them.
Ava: It was a lot of work. We practiced five days a week.
Katherine: What power those girls had. Yet so few knew how to use it. [chuckles] But you did, huh? You got one of those football players to marry you.
Ava: I did. Doesn't mean I had any real power.
Katherine: Because he beat you senseless?
Ava: You know a lot about me.
Katherine: I know you blew a hole through his chest.
Ava: Did you invite me to lunch to talk about my past?
Katherine: I invited you to lunch to ask you a question.
Ava: I'm not sure I want to hear it. [laughs]
Katherine: I was married to Grady for 20 years. And I loved that man with all my heart. But there were days... weeks... [sighs] months, really. My question is this ... when you pulled that trigger, how did it feel? 'Cause I have to think it felt great.
Ava: [chuckles softly]
Katherine: Are ... are you wondering what's under here?
Ava: Should I be? It is the best part of this lunch.
Ava: [exhales sharply] That's never been my thing.
Katherine: Well, darling, this is the good stuff. This is pharmaceutical grade. And believe me, you are gonna need it for what I've got planned.
Wynn: None of the barons can deposit in legit F.D.I.C.-backed banks, marijuana being legal only at the state level. Hence mercenaries guarding a pizza place full of dough. Did you see what I did there?
Boyd: Well, a man's wit is never lost on me, Wynn Duffy. Hey. So, you're telling me that Avery Markham really believes that legal weed is coming to the state of Kentucky?
Wynn: Probably sooner than later. The way the smoke's blowing. F.Y.I., my guy's a handful, irritating. His brain's fried from who knows what kind of drugs. You're gonna want to punch him, but he's very good. I'm saying... have fun with it.
[knock on door]
Bridget: They're here, baby.
Wiz: [laughs]
Looky here! Wynn Duffy! You're looking healthy.
Wiz: Been a long time. What can I say? I save you for the big jobs, man of your talent.
Wiz: [chuckling] Oh, yeah. And my price. You must be the man with the vault problem.
Boyd: Now, Mr. Wiz, I prefer discussing my business in private.
Wiz: Bridge is cool. I didn't say she wasn't cool.
Wiz: [laughs]
Bridget: What's the matter? Rudy likes you.
Wynn: So, uh, just spitballing on the ride over, we were thinking, uh, emulex? [laughs] Emulex? [laughing] Emulex to blow an Excelsior fifty-two hundred? That was part of the plan, yeah.
Wiz: Are you ser... Oh, my god. Excelsior's old school! It's 16 inches of Youngstown steel, dude. You need something massive to get through that sh1t.
Boyd: C-4? No, man, I'm talking, like, C-11, dude. New military issue, like asymmetrical warfare sh1t.
Bridget: That sh1t only you got, huh, baby?
Wiz: Damn straight only the sh1t I got! And if they catch you with it, they're taking you to Guantanamo Bay and hooking your nuts up to a car battery. Oh! Where's my manners? Would you guys like a negroni?
Boyd: I don't know what that is.
Wynn: It's italian. Tastes like grapefruit.
Boyd: I don't want one.
Wiz: Missing out.
[clears throat]
Boyd: So, you got it all worked out, huh?
Wiz: I do.
Will you mind taking me through the steps?
Wiz: Trust, brother, trust. Well, that's the thing, Wiz... I wasn't asking, so...
Wiz: Oh, whoa, easy, easy, easy. No static, bro. I got us another Excelsior. Yeah. It's in a derelict foundry on the outside of town. It's too big to move, too expensive to dismantle. Place is empty. We can get in there and make all the noise we want, Do some test runs. I could talk about it here all day, or we could go in there and just do it.
Wynn: Then why are we still here?
Wiz: Let's go do the sh1t!
[breaks squeal]
Wiz: Ahh! God damn!
Just the smell of the metal makes me hard.
Wynn: That the same one as the pizza place?
Boyd: Well, I ain't the manufacturer. But it looks close enough. Looks like it's in pretty good shape, too, for being abandoned.
Wiz: Hell, an A-bomb could go off, this baby would still be standing in the rubble.
Boyd: Well, Wiz, that doesn't exactly inspire a lot of confidence in your ability to get inside this thing.
Wiz: Dude, I get through time locks, magnetic seals, sh1t you wouldn't understand even if I drew you a diagram. This old pile of tungsten, this is just pure brute force. Drill and kill. You want to see what I can do? Next time, make it tough.
Boyd: One job at a time, Wiz.
Wiz: Okay. Give me your cellphones.
Katherine: Ava, come over here and meet the classiest jeweler this side of the Mississippi.
Ava: Oh, so nice to meet you, Winston. Beautiful pieces you have here. I feel like I should've worn my sunglasses, all the sparkling around.
Katherine: Okay, he gets it. Oh! Speaking of diamonds, may I?
Winston: Of course.
Katherine: The tennis bracelet. Oh, I love that.
Winston: There we are.
Katherine: Oh, my goodness, what a sight.
Winston, would you do me a favor? Would you let Ava try on something pretty to just give her a little thrill?
Winston: Surely.
[lock buzzes]
Is there anything that strikes your fancy?
Ava: Oh, the whole store does, one thing prettier than the next.
Winston: Well, now, let's see. How about these? That's okay, I feel funny even picking up something that expensive. Afraid I might drop it or something.
Winston: No, they won't bite. Here.
Ava: Okay. [laughs] Oh. Oh, my. I look like a movie star.
Katherine: You do.
Winston: Matches your eyes.
Ava: Thank you so much.
Winston: Of cour...
Ava: sh1t! I just knew I was gonna drop it. [chuckles] No problem, ma'am. Happens all the time. [grunts] There we go. Is there anything else you'd like to see?
Ava: Uh... I think that's enough for me.
Katherine: Winston, I-I'm gonna pass on the tennis bracelet for now. Maybe next time. So good to see you.
Winston: It's always a pleasure.
Katherine: All right.
[lock buzzes]
Ava: Whoo-whoo! [laughter]
Ava: My heart's beating like a jackrabbit!
Katherine: Just run with it, honey. It's all part of the fun.
Ava: That place was covered in cameras.
What if he decides to call the ...
Katherine: Oh, Winston is not gonna do jack sh1t. He's too afraid I still have the juice to have him killed, him or one of his mongoloid sons. When Grady was at his peak, I had a charge account at that store and a dozen others just like it. sh1t, Winston used to greet me at that door with champagne. Now he locks it on me. Screw him.
Ava: [laughs]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Raylan: [grunts]
Tim: When you gonna tell me?
Raylan: What?
Tim: The story of Mrs. Hutchins? Was she the teacher who cared? She watered little Raylan so he could blossom?
Raylan: I hated her. She hated English. Nearly turned me off of books. Only thing she taught me was don't do a job just for money.
Tim: Well, now you're doing what you love. Miss Hutchins ... American hero.
Raylan: What do you want to bet that she and Mr. Hutchins didn't die peacefully in their sleep?
Tim: Oh, but it's such a nice thought. It's how I want to go. I'm kidding. I want Sigourney Weaver to choke me out with her thighs.
Raylan: You understand I'm formulating a theory here?
Tim: You think Markham's "coadjutors" made it look that way?
Raylan: Mm-hmm. Made an offer on the property, got refused.
Raylan: Good theory, right?
Tim: Seeing as how Harlan isn't much in the way of farmland, yeah. Those names in Calhoun's books are probably the primo spots. Markham gets those, he can plant a sh1t ton of pot crops, betting Kentucky goes legal.
Raylan: Which, if it does, good for Kentucky. But if he's acting like one of them old West black hats forcing homesteaders off their land... that ain't gonna stand.
Tim: It's just with fire, you could maybe prove arson. It's a failed furnace in an old house?
Raylan: It's a theory.
Tim: This is what you get with a teacher's pension, huh? Congratulate me.
Raylan: What is that?
Tim: Window's covered in plastic and taped shut. I bet you a silver dollar they got no next of kin, house goes up for auction, Markham gets it for a song.
Raylan: Okay, then.
[drill whirs]
Wynn: Maui.
Boyd: Maui?
Wynn: Where I grew up ... the mean streets of Paia.
Surfed the bay every morning before school.
Boyd: Wynn Duffy on a surfboard ... that's something I have a hard time picturing.
Wynn: I'll show you my trophies one day.
Boyd: A million dollars does afford a man a lot of s*x wax.
Although given what we're about to do, I'm surprised you ain't planning to surf somewhere far, far away from here.
Wynn: That your plan? Sequester yourself in some lost corner of the globe? You speak Farsi, do ya? Tunisian?
Boyd: For one thing, they speak Arabic in Tunisia. Second, my future address has yet to be decided.
Wiz: Hey, does it swing right or left?
Boyd: I'm assuming you mean the vault door?
Wiz: Well, I ain't talking about your little white peepee. Yeah. Which way?
Boyd: Let's go right.
Wiz: And what year was it?
Boyd: Why?
Wiz: Because in 1970, Excelsior changed their design.
They started sandwiching out the copper alloy. They were ... You know what? Never mind. It's all good. The Wiz always has it covered.
[cellphone rings]
[sighs]
I told you assholes to leave your cellphones in the car!
[rapid beeping]
[explosion]
[buzzer]
Dickie: Ho, ho! What up, pimps?!
To what do I owe these particular splinters in my asshole today?
Raylan: If splinters are all you're getting back there, Dickie, prison has treated you well.
Dickie: Isn't that just like you? Isn't that just like him? To find hurtful potty-mouth humor in sexual assault.
Raylan: Maybe I should apologize. Maybe I should tease you about the wheelchair.
I get conflicting impulses when I see you.
Tim: Sure you lovers don't want a conjugal?
Raylan: Candy? Cookies? Chocolate doughnuts in a box?
Tim: Don't forget soda pop.
Raylan: And soda pop.
Dickie: I get it. I get it. I see you two.
This right here, this is a-a ... What you call it? A revelation. This is ... yeah! This is one of them ecstatic visions I've been having of late. All right, all right! Here we go-o-o-o. Mighty spirit.
Raylan: Dickie Bennett, this is archangel Raylan, here to deliver unto thee a loaded-up commissary in exchange for your cooperation in a federal criminal investigation. Oh! Message received, but I'm afraid what you ask, it's ... it's just ... it's too g-great. It really is. I cannot see a way to answer your call.
Raylan: Search your soul, numbnuts.
Dickie: Can you not see the lord herself hath damned me with... incipient diabetes?
Raylan: You sh1tting me?
Dickie: Negatory.
Tim: So barter the sweets. Get what you want.
Raylan: There you go. [laughs] I don't believe you ... you're hearing me. What I'm trying to say is ... I'll break it down here.
♪ There just ain't no way ♪ ♪ I'm gonna cooperate with you ♪
Raylan: Well, we can go the other way. Just make life in here unpleasant.
Tim: More unpleasant.
Dickie: The threats, yes. Here they come. Bring it on. This is my favorite part.
Raylan: We're upsetting you? You want us to leave? You can just tell us who bought your land.
Tim: Records indicate L.M. Consolidated.
The broker's name turned out to be a fake.
Raylan: Who was it wanted their identity concealed?
Dickie: Yes, you're absolutely right.
I would be delighted to tell you why I sold it. Would you like to...?
Raylan: This ought to be good.
Tim: I hope you made a tidy sum for your dumbassedness.
Dickie: Drove a hard bargain, yeah, yeah. But I did ... I managed to ... I pushed her back. I did, and I ended up with a... tidy sum.
Raylan: Her?
Dickie: Yeah, her. The guy behind the guy is said to have been, after all that, a she. [laughs] You follow that?
Raylan: She was a she? L.M. Consolidated? Y-you never met her?
Dickie: That's what I said the last five times. I'll give you six.
Raylan: You were so hot to start a feud with me that had long since ended, you sold your ancestral land to Loretta McCready?
Dickie: Loretta? Loretta?!
Walker: That good land has more to it than rich soil. It has history. And we know your desire to build on that history, which is in line with our desire. In short, the future.
Walker: Now the other thing I wanted to tell you is to forget our first offer. We're now prepared to pay you twice that to show you how committed we are to the preservation and prosperity of this land.
Loretta: Well, I'll need to think about that.
Walker: Well, consider that if you invest that money wisely ... Hell, you can burn through half of it first.
[chuckles]
And you'll still never work a day in your life.
Loretta: [breathes deeply] I like to drink when I think. Care to join?
Walker: Sure.
Loretta: I got this from a dear friend. She called it apple pie.
Walker: Not too sweet, I hope. Too sweet gives me a headache.
Loretta: It's not sweet, but... it might still give you a headache.
[knock on door]
Loretta: What's this sh1t?
Raylan: Good evening to you, too, Loretta. Can we talk?
Walker: She's right in the middle of something.
Tim: That doesn't bother us.
Loretta: Actually, we're done.
But that don't mean I feel like talking.
Walker: Done? No, we're not done. Don't be silly.
Loretta: Oh, we're done. I was about to pour you a drink and show you out. So you're rejecting our offer?
Loretta: I am.
Walker: Bu... We didn't even negotiate.
Raylan: "No" means no.
Walker: Hey, I'm not talking to you.
Raylan: Loretta, do me a favor. Take a big old step to your right. Okay. You ain't talking to me. She's done talking to you. Now, you want to get your ass out, or is there something else you're here to do?
[cellphone beeps]
Walker: Mr. Markham.
Avery Markham, I presume. You must be Givens. Deputy U.S. Marshal Givens. This young woman must be Loretta. Pleased to meet you, miss. Though I envisioned it under different circumstances. Why don't we sit down, have a civilized conversation?
Raylan: We'll be brief. Well, these bones are gonna take a chair either way. Well, what have we here? [sniffs] Mmm. That takes me back. This yours?
Walker: Yes, sir.
Markham: You mind?
Walker: 'Course not.
Markham: Go ahead, darling. Stick your little pinkie in there and have a lick. Okay, now.
Raylan: I'll give you this ... you've done your homework.
Markham: Homework, hell. I'm a corn cracker through and through.
Grew up with my hands in the dirt.
My daddy was a 'bacca farmer out in Cynthiana, raising up burley.
Tim: Traded one leaf for another.
Markham: I spent many days in this neck of the woods. Knew Miss McCready's daddy and her mama. Bennetts, too, us being in the same line. How I knew to check that glass, darlin'. I knew a Crowder or two, but no one by the name of Givens.
Raylan: Arlo's wannabe kingpin ass would be heartbroken.
Markham: Six generations of Bennetts grew up in Harlan County. Now all's left is a cripple stuck in lockup. Story is that's thanks to you. The Bennetts were my problem. Now you're my problem.
Loretta: Somebody please tell me what all you're talking about.
Raylan: The man is making you an offer you can't refuse ... sell or he kills you.
Markham: Oh, come on, now. I may make you an offer you can't refuse. But that's because I'm offering you more money than you ever imagined. And if I don't want it at any price? Then you'd be a bird so rare as to never before have been sighted.
Raylan: The negotiation has ended. I told you you can't have my land. I'm adding hers to the list.
Markham: I don't see how you can do that, legally speaking.
Raylan: You want to follow that thread, be my guest. Till then, you can put away your suitcase of money.
Markham: Or what? You gonna give me 24 hours to get out of town, Deputy U.S. Marshal Raylan Givens?
Tim: And he said he didn't do his homework.
Raylan: I'm just saying there's no deal to make here. First you turn me down. Now this. What's next? Third time? You gonna tell me that, by the power vested in you, that there's something else I ain't allowed to do? This is still America last time I checked the flagpole. What's next is entirely based on the next choice you make.
Markham: I think I'll burn one on the way out. Helps me think. You gonna haul me in?
Raylan: No, not for weed. I can assure you of that.
Markham: Okay, then. I'll be seeing you.
Katherine: Okay.
Heard this one back in the '90s. Bill Clinton and Hillary sneak away from the secret service and go for a drive, backwoods Arkansas. And they come to a gasoline station, and Hillary recognizes the attendant, saying that was her boyfriend before Bill. And Bill laughs, saying, "imagine where you would be now if you married that guy." And Hillary, quick as a minute, says, I would be married to the President of the United States. [chuckles] That's funny.
Katherine: No. That's Grady and me. He was the face, and I got it done.
Ava: Must be frustrating, Grady getting all the glory.
Katherine: Well... taking his partner as my lover made it a little easier.
Ava: Avery Markham. Best lover I had ever had. Still is. Nevertheless, I know he ratted out Grady and was responsible for all that ensued, down to me pulling vindictive, low-class, little stunts in a jewelry store.
Ava: Smart of you, though, sleeping with him. Can't imagine he'd suspect the man trying to rob him is the woman underneath him. Not always underneath him. [chuckles]
Katherine: Yeah, I doubt that his money is gonna feel as good as he does, but I sure cannot wait to get my hands on it. I mean, a man as much as kills your husband, you got to do something about it.
Ava: He killed Grady?
Katherine: Well ... Well, the prison assholes claimed it was suicide, but [scoffs] there was a lot of dixie mafia muscle inside at that time, and those guys know how to fix a murder to look like suicide easy as baking a pie.
[cellphone alarm beeps]
Oh, my goodness. That's my massage. I guess you better go.
Ava: Oh. Okay.
[chuckles]
[clears throat]
Thank you for a... a very interesting day.
Katherine: Anytime. Hey. It sure was lucky the way that guard of yours, the one who said you stabbed him, how fortunate that he came clean the way he did. What was his name? Uh... Albert Fekus? You ever thought about thanking him? [chuckles] The guy was a crazy piece of sh1t.
All he did was finally tell the truth.
Katherine: Yeah, but... something made him step up and do the right thing, so... you know, if you ever want to get to the bottom of his crisis of conscience, I could find him for you.
It would be a breeze.
Ava: Mm. That's so kind of you. But I'd probably just stab him in the eye. [chuckles] You really are a firecracker.
Ava: [chuckles]
Raylan: Stop acting like a badass older than you are.
Loretta: Well, stop acting like my daddy.
Raylan: You're a kid. Enjoy it.
No need to take over the goddamn world with your ambition. I don't even know how you're thinking on this scale.
Loretta: What am I, stupid? Look around. Five years, not even, it'll be legal across the land.
Raylan: Oh, don't give me that bullshit. You're gonna sell dope whether it's legal or not. But you set your sights this high, you're gonna keep running into folks like him. I-Is that what your daddy would want?
Loretta: You didn't know him.
Raylan: Well, I know what all daddies want. They want their kids to be safe. [sighs] So, you're saying walk away from weed?
Raylan: Look. It's good that you have goals. But for me, next couple weeks, just put two big guys out front. Help me sleep at night?
[cellphone vibrating]
Loretta: Thanks for the heart to heart.
Really changed my mind. We done?
Raylan: Hmm? Uh, uh... No. Loretta...
[sighs]
[vibrating continues]
God damn it. You mean to send three 5's? 'Cause that's the bat signal, Ava. That's what you send when a grenade's about to go off.
Ava: Albert Fekus.
Raylan: What?
Ava: She asked me about Fekus.
Raylan: You need to slow down.
Ava: Ugh!
Katherine Hale asked me about Albert Fekus, the guard!
Ava: The little shithead! How the hell did that even come up?
Ava: Out of literally goddamn nowhere. She just started asking why he had a "crisis of conscience," and why he changed his testimony.
Raylan: Okay, at best, she's just testing you.
Ava: I'm telling you, she knows.
Raylan: No. Trust me, she does not know.
Ava: Why? Because she didn't put a bullet in my head right then and there?
[sobbing] Jesus Christ, I have to get out of here.
Raylan: Where are you right now?
Ava: I'm still in the hotel. Okay. I want you to go down to the horseshoe diner, wait there. I'm gonna have someone come meet you.
Ava: Get where?
Raylan: The horseshoe diner.
[door lock clicks]
Ava: sh1t.
Raylan: Ava?
Boyd: Hey, baby.
Ava: Hey.
Boyd: You packing already?
Ava: Thought I'd get a jump on it. We're heading home tonight, right?
Boyd: Well, when they say late checkout, I don't think they mean 10:00 at night. [chuckles]
Boyd: Are you sure... you don't want to crawl into this Egyptian cotton, order a pint of ice cream?
Come on, now. They got free cable.
Ava: I think I just want to get home, sleep in my o... in our own bed.
Boyd: All right. You okay?
Ava: Yeah, I'm fine.
Boyd: Duffy said that Katherine Hale wanted to have lunch with you today. What did you two talk about?
Ava: Mhm. Nothing.
Boyd: Nothing? Why, I didn't think it was possible for two women to get together and talk about nothing. She didn't talk about me?
Ava: No.
Boyd: She didn't even bring up how good-looking I am?
Ava: No. She ju... [chuckles] we just had lunch.
Boyd: Well, I guess she was just looking forward to enjoying the pleasure of your company. I can't say that I blame her. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Come here. Sit right here.
Ava: [sighs]
Boyd: Let me see them hands.
[Ava shivering]
Boyd, there's something that... I need to talk to you about.
Boyd: Baby, I know what you're gonna say.
But before you do, I want to tell you something first. I'm taking you home, and we never have to leave Harlan County again.
Ava: What do you mean? I got us a whole new endgame. Reason Markham's got that money ... he's looking to buy up land to grow pot ... legally. Now, a man like him doesn't make that kind of move unless he knows what's coming around the corner. Now, I-I-I'm talking about judges, baby. I'm talking about police. I'm talking about state senators. Now, I'm already on point to steal his money. I'm gonna use it to steal his idea, too.
Ava: Boyd ...
Boyd: Baby, legal weed in the state of Kentucky. Ahh... we're gonna make a killing. And we're gonna bring hope and prosperity back to this beautiful county, our home, Harlan County, once again.
Ava: What happened to us ending up on a beach?
Boyd: Come on, baby, you know how these legs look in a bathing suit. [chuckles]
Boyd: We're gonna have it all, Ava, and we're gonna have it right here in Harlan County. No running, no hiding.
Ava: I don't know what to say.
Boyd: You ain't got to say anything.
[Music]
Now, I'm gonna take a shower. Then we're gonna hit the road, and I'm gonna have you back in Harlan County 'fore the sun comes up!
Whoo!
[quiet sobbing]
[deep breath]
|
Plan: A: The Hotel Samuelson; Q: Where does Boyd leave Ava? A: Katherine; Q: Who wants to get to know Ava? A: an informant; Q: What does Katherine think Ava is? A: Grady; Q: Who did Katherine think Avery ratted out? A: prison; Q: Where did Grady supposedly commit suicide? A: her husband; Q: Katherine is robbing Avery to avenge whom? A: her lost lifestyle; Q: What does Katherine want to regain? A: Albert Fekus'; Q: Who does Katherine ask about? A: Wynn; Q: Who introduces Boyd to "Wiz"? A: legal cannabis; Q: What is Avery buying up farms to grow? A: his fortune; Q: What does Boyd want to ensure in Harlan? A: extended leave; Q: What is Art on? A: gunshot wounds; Q: What is Art recovering from? A: Avery Markham; Q: Who is buying up farms to grow cannabis? A: Calhoun; Q: Who do Raylan and Tim check with about the properties being bought up for Avery? A: diabetic wheelchair-bound Dickie Bennett; Q: Who did Raylan and Tim visit in prison? A: his ancestral land; Q: What did Dickie Bennett unknowingly sell to Loretta McCready? A: Ty Walker; Q: Who is making Loretta an offer? A: an eye; Q: What does Raylan tell Loretta he is keeping on them? A: a couple big bodyguards; Q: What does Raylan ask Loretta to get? Summary: Boyd leaves Ava in The Hotel Samuelson; she updates Raylan then finds Katherine wants to get to know her. Ava ends up having to do cocaine and participate in high-ticket shoplifting to convince Katherine she's not an informant. Katherine reveals her belief that Avery ratted out Grady, who supposedly committed suicide in prison, and she reveals she is robbing Avery to avenge her husband and regain her lost lifestyle. At the end of their day, Katherine asks about Albert Fekus' change of heart, worrying Ava. Meanwhile, Wynn introduces Boyd to specialist "Wiz" who attempts to break open a similar vault but accidentally vaporizes himself. However, learning that Avery is buying up farms to grow soon-to-be-legal cannabis, Boyd decides to get the land first and ensure his fortune in Harlan. Raylan checks in with Art, who is on extended leave recovering from gunshot wounds. Art advises Raylan to concentrate on the case against Boyd and not to start making another against Avery Markham. Raylan and Tim check with Calhoun about the properties being bought up for Avery, noting a number of fires and, most recently, carbon monoxide deaths. They visit diabetic wheelchair-bound Dickie Bennett in prison learning that he unknowingly sold his ancestral land to Loretta McCready. They get to Loretta just as Ty Walker is making her an offer, and Ty calls in Avery; Raylan lets them know he's keeping an eye on them and won't let them strong-arm Loretta, though Avery questions Raylan's own forceful tactics. Knowing that Loretta won't give up on weed, Raylan asks her to get a couple big bodyguards.
|
Scene: Leonard's bedroom
Priya: Morning.
Leonard: Morning.
Priya: Sleep okay?
Leonard: Mm-hmm. Great. Hey, can I ask you something?
Priya: Sure.
Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Priya: Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: Hey, if you can find a book called weird s*x with white boys, I'd be okay with that.
Priya: No, you have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
Leonard: I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them.
Priya: Oh, that's too bad.
Leonard: Yeah, if I had contacts I would have been the coolest debate club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.
Priya: If you had them on now, you could see what we're going to do next.
Leonard: Th-th-th-that's okay. I can infer from context.
Scene: The cafeteria.
Howard: Hey, Raj, wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on?
Sheldon: Howard, if I may interject here with a piece of friendly advice. Is working on magic tricks really how you want to spend your time? Granted, you're just an engineer, but that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw or a thingamabob that may get you a thank you in someone else's Nobel prize acceptance speech.
Raj: Is the trick making him disappear? Sure, let's see it.
Howard: Here, shuffle these.
Raj: Okay.
Howard: Now spread them out on the table face down. Pick one, look at it.
Raj: Okay.
Howard: Now remember your card, put it back in the deck.
Sheldon: Is it any wonder he doesn't have a doctorate?
Howard: Remind me, what's your birthday?
Raj: October sixth.
Howard: Okay, October is the tenth month. So ten, one plus zero is one, plus six is seven. Turn over the seventh card.
Raj: How about that!
Howard: Is that your card?
Raj: Yes, it is. Very cool!
Sheldon: It's not cool. It's a childish trick designed to confuse and intrigue simpletons. How'd you do it?
Howard: A magician never reveals his secrets. But surely a future Nobel prize winner can figure it out.
Sheldon: Fine. Give me a second.
Howard: You ever notice when he thinks real hard, it smells like bacon?
(Leonard enters, bumps into random man)
Random man: Oh, hey!
Leonard: Sorry! Oop!
(Continues across room bumping into nearly everyone in the room and knocking many things over)
Leonard: Sorry! Pardon me! Oh, I'm so sorry! My fault! Check it out. I just got contacts.
Credits sequence.
Scene: The apartment.
Penny: One, two, three, four, five. No way.
Howard: That's your card, right?
Penny: Seven of clubs! That is amazing!
Sheldon: It's not amazing. All magic tricks are merely a combination of manipulation and misdirection with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.
Howard: Oh, really? So how did I do it?
Sheldon: Well, I don't care how you did it. I have more important things to think about. Clearly, the cards are marked.
Howard: I thought you had more important things to think about.
Sheldon: I do. You just happen to have caught me on a break. Oh, let me see those cards.
Penny: Oh, big deal. Not knowing is part of the fun.
Sheldon: Not knowing is part of the fun. Was that the motto of your community college?
Leonard: Hey, guys, what do you think? Priya took me clothes shopping.
Penny: Hey, you look great. Good for you, Priya. I could never get that stupid hoodie off him when we were... well, you look great.
Leonard: Thank you.
Priya: Lets go hang everything up.
Leonard: Yeah, good. New contacts. I should have done this years ago.
Howard: So you finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis?
Penny: I'm not going out with him. He can sleep with whoever he wants.
Howard: Yeah, I was talking to Raj.
Penny: Oopsy.
Sheldon: This deck is rigged in some fashion.
Howard: Fine. Get another deck and I'll do the trick with that.
Sheldon: So you're saying this is a regulation deck?
Howard: I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.
Penny: You know, well, I'm happy Leonard's found someone. Not that anybody asked.
Scene: Leonard's bedroom
Priya: How many Star Trek uniforms do you have?
Leonard: Just two. Everyday and dress.
Priya: Uh-huh. Listen, we need to talk about something.
Leonard: Oh, my god, you're breaking up with me! Why would you take me out shopping and then break up with me? That is so cruel.
Priya: Leonard, I'm not breaking up with you.
Leonard: Oh, okay. So, what's up?
Priya: It's a little weird, your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time.
Leonard: I know. I usually never see my ex-girlfriends, unless their hard drives crash.
Priya: I'm just saying, how would you feel if I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend?
Leonard: Um, not great, I guess. But Penny and I are just friends.
Priya: I don't care. This is a woman you have slept with. If you want her around, then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.
Leonard: No, no-no-no, I'm ready! I gave up the gift of sight for you. If that's not moving on, what is?
Priya: You need to cut the cord with Penny.
Leonard: Oh. Okay.
Priya: You don't sound very confident.
Leonard: No, no, I'm confident. It's not like I'm unfamiliar with the get lost conversation. Although, this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it.
Priya: Thank you. I appreciate it.
Leonard: Sure. Oh, god, you smell so good. Of course, that could just be my other senses getting stronger. Hypothetically, if I had access To a Lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
Priya: Leonard, it is a source of great pain to me and my family that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe. Can we not discuss it?
Leonard: I'm sorry. I'm, never mind.
Scene: The apartment
Howard: And was your card the jack of diamonds?
Penny: Oh, unbelievable! Know how he did it yet?
Sheldon: Um...
Penny: Aw, he has the same look my little nephew gets when he can't figure out how I got his nose.
Howard: You know, I have some remedial magic tricks that might be more your speed. Like, ooh, look! The pencil's rubber!
Penny: Hey, I think I know how you did the card trick.
Sheldon: Oh, oh, please, if I don't know, you don't know. That's axiomatic.
Penny: Come here. (Whispers to Howard)
Howard: You're right.
Penny: Not too bad for someone who doesn't know what axiomatic means.
Scene: The laundry room.
Leonard: Oh, hi.
Penny: Hey, you. What happened with the contacts?
Leonard: One of them's upstairs. The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.
Penny: Hey, is that one of the new shirts Priya got you?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: You don't wanna wash that.
Leonard: No?
Penny: No, that's silk. Seriously, what would you do without me?
Leonard: Yeah.
Penny: You know, I gotta tell you, I think you got a real winner with Priya.
Leonard: Yeah, me, too.
Penny: She seems really sweet. Believe me, you do not want to take that for granted. There are a lot of bitches out there.
Leonard: Yeah, bitches are the worst.
Penny: All right, well I'll see you later.
Leonard: Uh, Penny, there's something I have to tell you.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um, are you familiar with Darwin's observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
Penny: Did they make a movie about it?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Then no.
Leonard: All right, well, anyway, Darwin observed that when two groups of finches competed over the same food source, eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape so they could feed on something else.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: So what do you think we can learn from that behaviour that we can apply to our own lives?
Penny: Uh, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?
Leonard: Sure, that has birds in it.
Penny: It's fun talking to you, Leonard, I always learn stuff.
Leonard: I'm sorry, but I'm gonna count that.
Scene: Leonard's bedroom
Priya: Do you really have to wear that in bed?
Leonard: Yeah. The doctor didn't want me to rub my eye during the night. It was either this or one of those giant neck cones.
Priya: So did you get to talk to Penny?
Leonard: Oh, yes. Indeed, I did.
Priya: And?
Leonard: She completely understood everything I said. Case closed.
Priya: Was she upset?
Leonard: Maybe, but that's not my problem. She's not my girlfriend, you are.
Priya: I hope you weren't cruel to her.
Leonard: Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die, or is that just nature's way?
Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard? (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I think I figured out Wolowitz's magic trick, and I need you to pick a card.
Leonard: I am not opening that door, Sheldon.
Sheldon: As you wish. (Cards slide under door) Pick a card, put it back, and prepare to be amazed. (Leonard does not) Did you pick one?
Leonard: Yep.
Sheldon: (Sliding card under door) Is this your card?
Leonard: (Not looking) Nope.
Sheldon: Drat. Is this your card?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: I'll be right back.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene: The apartment. Sheldon is alone.
Sheldon: Pick a card, Sheldon. Now look at it, and put it back in the deck. Now do you remember your card? Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory. My apologies. Now shuffle the cards. Shuffling. Wait here. Processing image, cross-referencing.
Leonard: Whatcha doin'?
Sheldon: I'm reverse engineering Wolowitz's magic trick.
Leonard: What's up with the infrared cameras?
Sheldon: I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards to determine which one's been touched. By the way, if you hope to have children, I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers. Your testicles look a tad warm.
Leonard: Holy crap, are you connected to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?
Sheldon: Yes. I'm using their Cray Supercomputer to analyze shuffling patterns.
Leonard: Sheldon, that computer is used for National defence. Hacking into it is a Federal crime.
Sheldon: Relax, we're not under attack right now.
Leonard: Okay, I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here.
Sheldon: And is this my card? Rats! I wonder if Howard used a radioactive tracer. Where am I going to find Uranium-235 this time of night? Come on, Craigslist.
Scene: A restaurant
Leonard: Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant?
Priya: It's okay, I like Indian food.
Leonard: Or as you probably call it back home, food.
Priya: Why didn't you wear your contacts? Don't you like them?
Leonard: No, no, I do. It's just I knew I was having curry tonight and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.
Priya: You know, my company offered me a position here in Los Angeles.
Leonard: Does that mean you'd relocate here permanently?
Priya: Maybe. What do you think? Leonard:Oh, I love it. Oh, that's great!
Penny (knocking on window): Hi! Hi! Just hang on.
Leonard: Small world.
Priya: You did talk to her, didn't you?
Leonard: Of course, I did. I talked and talked and talked.
Penny: Hey! Look at Leonard in his fancy-ass grownup clothes. Way to go, Priya. For once, he doesn't look like a mannequin in the boys' department. Hey, did he tell you I saved the silk shirt?
Priya: No, he did not.
Penny: He was gonna throw it in the washing machine with his Spiderman underwear. That's our Lenny, huh?
Priya: Yes, that's our Lenny.
Penny: So, how's the food here? Oh, wow, that is really, really good. Oh, I'm sorry. You guys are on a date. We can hang out anytime. Have fun.
Leonard: Bye.
Priya: Good night.
Penny: Oh, that's, hot, hot, hot, hot! Whoo! It really sneaks up on ya, huh? All right, I gotta go.
Leonard: It is pretty spicy.
Scene: The cafeteria.
Sheldon: Oh, I've been meaning to tell you, I figured out your magic trick.
Howard: Really?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. In fact, I improved upon it.
Howard: I'd love to see that. How about you, Raj?
Raj: Beefaroni and a show? How do you turn that down?
Sheldon: All right. Pick a card.
Howard: Okay.
Sheldon: Bippity-boppity-boo.
Howard: What's with the wand and the beep?
Sheldon: The wand is called showmanship, and the beep is none of your business. Oh! Excuse me, I'm getting a text message completely unrelated to this magic trick. Oh, look, my dry cleaning's ready. And your card was the five of spades. Ta-da.
Raj: These cards have barcodes on them. The wand is a reader. It's transmitting to your phone.
Sheldon: I said, ta-da. Show's over.
Howard: That's pathetic. Let me show you how a real magician does it. Raj, take a card. Don't let me see it.
Raj: Okay.
Howard: Three of clubs. (It isn't)
Raj: Son of a gun, you're blowing my mind!
Howard: Bippity-boppity-boo-yah!
Sheldon: That does it. I'm getting uranium.
Raj: You ever gonna tell him?
Howard: Maybe. When it stops being fun.
Raj: So never.
Scene: Penny's door.
Penny: Oh, hey, I was just on my way to work.
Leonard: Oh, okay, it's not important. It can wait.
Penny: No, it's all right. Walk me down. So, what's up?
Leonard: Uh, I kind of have a problem I was hoping you could help me with.
Penny: Sure, anything.
Leonard: Move out.
Penny: What?
Leonard: Well, uh, not far. Hey, if you ever wanna start a family, La Cañada has some great schools.
Penny: Okay, I'm not moving anywhere. What the hell is this all about?
Leonard: Why does it have to be about anything? Can't a fella ask his buddy to relocate, no questions asked?
Penny: Oh, for god's sake, Leonard, this is about Priya, isn't it? She doesn't want me hanging out with you.
Leonard: Yes. There, I said it.
Penny: Okay, look, I happen to like your girlfriend.
Leonard: And she likes you.
Penny: No, she doesn't.
Leonard: Not really, no.
Penny: It doesn't matter. Look, I promise from now on I will keep my distance from you.
Leonard: Well, now, hold on. What kind of distance are we talking about? Because we are neighbours. I mean, I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment.
Penny: You can hear my toilet flush?
Leonard: I don't listen for it, but it's nice to know everything's okay with your plumbing. The building's plumbing.
Penny: Leonard, I get it. You're in a new relationship now. And I'm happy for you. So why don't we just shake hands and part friends?
Leonard: Well, now hold on, how about this? How about we still hang out, but on the down-low?
Penny: Are you really that kind of guy?
Leonard: No. I actually felt kinda silly just saying on the down-low.
Penny: Good-bye, Leonard.
Leonard: Penny, wait. (Bumps into door) Damned contacts.
Scene: The cafeteria.
Howard: Incoming.
Raj: Hi!
Howard: Hey!
Sheldon: Hello.
Raj: Why so glum, chum?
Sheldon: Apparently, you can't hack into a government supercomputer and then try to buy uranium without the Department of Homeland Security tattling to your mother.
Howard: Oh, that's too bad. Figure out the magic trick yet?
Sheldon: Figure out the magic trick yet?
Howard: Want me to tell you how to do it?
Sheldon: No.
Howard: I'll show you one more time. Raj?
Sheldon: Hang on. This time do it with me, so I can make sure there's no monkey business.
Howard: All right. (Raj looks over Sheldon's shoulder. Holds two fingers over his heart). Two of hearts.
Sheldon: I hate you.
Howard: Yeah, he's gonna win the Nobel prize.
|
Plan: A: new clothes; Q: What does Priya buy Leonard? A: comfort; Q: What does Leonard take in the fact that he tried to tell Penny to stay away from him? A: sex; Q: What does Priya tell Leonard to break all contact with Penny during? A: the right message; Q: What does Penny not get? A: Later Penny; Q: Who interrupts Leonard's date with Priya? A: Howard; Q: Who does Sheldon ask to perform the trick on him? A: a volunteer; Q: Who picks a card in the trick? A: even Penny; Q: Who was able to figure out the card trick? A: a barcode reader; Q: What does Sheldon use to try to recreate the card trick? A: Howard, Raj and Penny on Sheldon; Q: Who played a prank on Sheldon? A: a peek; Q: What does Raj get on Sheldon's card? A: hand signals; Q: What did Raj use to tell Howard the right answer? Summary: Priya has begun to dominate in her relationship with Leonard, buying him new clothes (which Leonard is not comfortable with). She also feels threatened by Leonard continuing to hang out with Penny, even though they have broken up, so during sex, she tells him to break all contact with Penny. Leonard initially hesitates, but still tries to tell Penny to stay away from him, albeit indirectly. Penny does not get the right message, but Leonard takes comfort in the fact that he tried. Later Penny interrupts Leonard's date with Priya and is completely oblivious to what is going on. Leonard once again indirectly tries to tell Penny to stay away from him, but this time Penny gets the message and realizing that Priya was behind this, decides to break all contact with Leonard. Meanwhile, Howard shows Sheldon, Raj and Penny a card trick in which a volunteer picks a card and after shuffling the deck, Howard tells the volunteer his/her card. Raj and Penny both try out the trick and are amazed by it. Though at first his attitude is dismissive, Sheldon eventually becomes obsessed with discovering the trick's secret, as even Penny could figure it out. He goes to the extent of using a barcode reader in order to recreate the trick. It is then revealed (to the audience) that the card trick is just a prank played by Howard, Raj and Penny on Sheldon. Raj and Penny willingly pretended that Howard was successful, knowing fully well that Sheldon would go nuts trying to figure out the trick's secret. When Sheldon wants Howard to perform the trick on him in the end, Raj manages to get a peek on Sheldon's card and uses hand signals to tell Howard the right answer. Sheldon is puzzled once more, still not knowing that he had been pranked all along, while Howard and Raj both laugh gleefully.
|
5 months later At Ryan's
Ryan: Hello? Hi. Right now,no. Yeah. Yeah,okay. I'll be right there. At the pub
Sandy: Is he here? Thank you.You've been very helpful. Hey,Ryan,you there? I just want to talk to you for a minute. Come on.We miss you! We're worried about you. At Roberts'
Julie: Hey,Kaitlin,why aren't you in school?
Kaitlin: Because it's 8:00 at night and a Saturday.
Julie: Oh,that's nice. Well,I guess I'm going to get going.
Kaitlin: Where are you going? You know you're not supposed to be driving at night anymore.
Julie: Great boots,baby.
Kaitlin: Mom,maybe I should go with you. At the motel
Julie: Hey,Ryan. Come on in. Généric 36 hours earlier At Seth's bedroom
Seth: So Friday morning,a little check-in before the weekend. I'm still here,kicking it Newport style. I can't believe I just said that. But,uh,yeah,things are good. Ryan's decision to defer college seems to be working out well. He's got a new place,new job,made some new friends. Sandy Cohen is doing what he does best,fighting the man,sticking up for the little guy. At Sandy's office
Sandy: I don't care if a plea helps the judge make his tee time. Listen,listen,I've got to go.My kid's here. All right.
Seth on voice-over: Big news,the other day I went roast beef,he went turkey. Roast beef wasn't as rare as I like,but he's really turned me on to the spicy mustard. And my mom,she's more of a honey mustard gal, which I discovered the other day when she invited me to join her for a Newpsie luncheon. They're actually not that bad if you take the time to get to know them. And that Teran,one of the great dry wits. At Cohens'
Taryn: And I said,Honey,that is not toothpaste.
Seth: It's not toothpaste. Tell us another.
Voice-over: Although she's not a fan of tuna,but do you know who is? At Roberts'
Neil: This is the shot.
Voice-over: Me and your dad have really bonded. Been a lot of that,me and adults bonding.
Neil: No! How could he miss that?
Voice-over: Although I do see Kaitlin from time to time. You'll never guess who she's befriended- Brad and Eric Ward,Luke's twin brothers. They seem to be a chip right off Luke's block. Taylor sent me some pics from Paris- did you get them,too? Her e-mail was in French.I'm not quite sure what it said. Maybe your French is better than mine. Anyway,it was good to catch up. Only a couple more months until I'm at RISD and we're together. At Brown's college
Che: Summer,we got to get out on the quad.This thing' going down,like,right now.
Summer: Chafe,hey,um,what are we protesting?
Che: The chickens,man.It's the chickens!
Summer: Right,okay,just give me a sec.
Che: Every second that goes by,another chicken is caged.
Summer: Then let's get out there.
Che: Yeah. At the comics bookstore
Seth: What? I'm sorry,maybe I didn't understand you correctly. Did you seriously just ask if there was a comic book based on the X-Men movie?
Kirsten: Hey,sweetheart. How's work?
Seth: Uh,I'm worried,Mom. I'm worried about the future of America. Leon.
Leon: The whole world's going to hell.
Kirsten: Hey,Leon. I brought some...
Seth: Another care package for Ryan?
Kirsten: Well,just a few things: coffee,bagels,cereal, and I was hoping you could put in some comic books,but nothing too dark.
Seth: I'm sure some Archie and Jughead will cheer him right up.
Kirsten: Seth.
Seth: I don't know what you're expecting,Mom.The guy's changed.I will take the care package over where'll it'll sit next to all the other ones he hasn't opened in the last five months.
Kirsten: Why don't you invite him for dinner?
Seth: He didn't go to Marissa's funeral. You really think he wants to come over for family dinner at the Cohen's? At Roberts'
Neil: Julie! Julie,what on God's formerly green Earth are you doing?
Julie: Oh,hi. Am I making too much noise?
Neil: For the people who live in San Diego,no,but for the rest of us,yes.
Julie: I was surveying the yard this morning. I think Ernesto has gotten sloppy with these scrubs.
Neil: Julie,stop it. Julie,stop it. Turn that...Put that thing down. Take off the goggles and talk to me. That would also require your removing the kerchief from around your mouth.Thank you. You want to hire new landscapers?I'll be happy to do the interviews.
Julie: That's a good idea,honey.
Neil: Listen to me. I know that all this busybody business is your way of coping with an unspeakable grief but you're either going 100 miles an hour at the bushes or you're catatonic in bed.
Julie: Oh,I'm just so tired from all the yard work.
Neil: Julie,I'm not saying get over it. I'm not telling you to move on. I want you to take as long as you need,but would you please just let me in? Just let me help.
Julie: Okay... you hire the landscapers. I'm going to go plug in my glue gun and finish those sea grass placemats I started last night. Thanks,hon.
Neil: Hey,Kaitlin,can I give you a ride to school?
Kaitlin: Thanks. You know,it's nothing personal. She ignores me,too. I'm starting to think it's a good thing. At Ryan's
Seth: Ryan! Ryan!
Ryan: Seth,go away.I'm sleeping.
Seth: You're sleeping? And you're talking? Ryan,I don't even see how that's possible unless you're talking in your sleep. Hey,look,you're awake.
Ryan: Package from your mom.Thank you.
Seth: Yeah. Aren't you going to invite me in? So the utility closet is the new pool house.Things change. It's the Seth Ryan time that counts.
Ryan: I'm tired Seth.I work nights.
Seth: Right,but you don't work tonight,I checked with your boss, which is why I'm inviting you to dinner with us. Just show up.Eat some food,let my parents see that you're still alive. It'd mean a lot to them,and it'd mean a lot to me.
Ryan: Yeah,okay,sure,I'll see you tonight.
Seth: Great. Hey,what are you doing? I was going to get some ice cream or something. Okay. At Brown's college
Che: They're chicken They can't defend themselves. What are they going to do,unionize? Strike for better living conditions? It is up to us,man,to speak for them! Give poultry a voice!
Summer: Chicken lovers of the world,unite!
Man: I love chicken.Nuggets are delicious.
Summer: It is people like you keeping the chickens from flying free.
Man: Chickens can't fly.
Che: Oh,who are you to say that chickens can't fly. All it takes is one brave chicken to spread his wings and fly into the abyss.
Summer: Yeah. Thanks,Chafe. Hello.
Taylor: Bonjour!
Summer: Taylor? Oh,my God.
Taylor: I think you mean mon Dieu,Summer. Yes,c'est moi.
Summer: How's Paris?
Taylor: Incroyable. You know,being an expat totally suits me. Except that I miss you.
Summer: You can only parlez so much Francais until you start to get a little nostalgic for the motherland.
Taylor: Summer!
Summer: One sec,Taylor.
Che: The copy shop is about to close. We got to run off some more flyers.
Summer: Totally. Tell them to use the recycled paper. Taylor,you know what?I actually have to go.
Taylor: Oh,pas un problème.
Summer: Well,it was great to talk to you. Listen,don't be a stranger,and have a great time in Paris.
Taylor: Vive la France,Summer. Vive la France! At coffee shop
Taylor: Can I get a little more coffee? Thank you. At Cohen's house
Kirsten: Okay,taste this and tell me if it's ready.
Sandy: It's hot!
Kirsten: It is so hot! Did I overcook it?
Sandy: It is definitely not undercooked.
Seth: Table's set for four.Actually feels kind of weird.
Sandy: Well,things have been a little weird around here until lately. Tonight might not be any different. We shouldn't be expecting any miracles.
Seth: No zippy one-liners?
Kirsten: Not a lot of smiles.
Sandy: A few grunts.An occasional shrug.
Kirsten: Yeah,it'll be just like old times. I'm looking forward to it. He'll be here any minute. So,ready or not,the pasta is coming off the stove.
Sandy: Oh,stand back,son.She's ready to blow.
Seth: 'Cause it's hot,that's funny. At the club
Man: Hey,man,good to see you. I heard you making plans with that kid.I didn't think you were going to show.
Ryan: I wouldn't miss it.
Man: All right,you drew that guy.
Ryan: No,no.Not tonight. What about him?
Man: What are you,crazy?
Ryan: No.I'm good.
Man: All right. At Cohen's
Sandy: Well,I thought dinner was excellent.
Kirsten: Do you think anything happened to him?
Sandy: Ryan,it's Sandy again. The microwave still works,if you feel like dropping by. And,even if you don't,please call,huh? Let us know you're okay.
Kirsten: Should we call the police? Hospitals?
Seth: No.Mom,he's fine. Well,he's not,you know,fine,but he's not coming.
Kirsten: Well,even if Ryan didn't want to come,he would have called,Ryan always calls. Where are you going?
Sandy: I'm going to try and talk to him.
Seth: No offense,Dad,but I don't think he is going to be in the mood for one of your pep talks right now, as inspiring and motivational as they usually are. I'll go.
Sandy: Thanks for the compliment,however backhanded.Are you sure?
Kirsten: Do you want your father to go with you?
Seth: No,I got it. On the jetty
Twin 1: Dude,this place is crawling with Security. You really think it's the best place to smoke up?
Kaitlin: They're just a bunch of rent-a-cops,and this shwag you guys gave me is barely pot anyway. We might as well be smoking dirt.
Twiin 2: Sorry. The guy said that's all he had.
Kaitlin: Yeah,just blame it on your lame dealer. But,if I don't get an "A" in chemistry,I have only you two to blame. So,less whining,more lab reporting. Oh,no.
Twin 1: What? Cops?
Kaitlin: No.
Twin 2: Who's that skank with Dr.Roberts? I know that chick. Oh,yeah. That's Gloria.
Kaitlin: Gloria? Why does that sound familiar?
Twin 2: She used to be friends with our mom. Twin 1:Before Dr.Roberts divorced her.
Kaitlin: So that's the step-monster? At the pub
Seth: I'm trying to hold it together here,but... I'm sorry I know you're doing the college thing,I know I'm supposed to give you space. Just,um... call when you can,okay? Bye.
Man: Dude,I hear that kid from the bar is going to get his ass kicked. At the club
Man: Do it!
Other man: Do it! At Brown's college
Answering machine: Hey,Summer,you probably can't hear your phone right now because of all the noise at your awesome college party. I hope it's awesome. I realize that sounded sarcastic,but,genuinely,I hope you're having a good night. I'm just in some sketchy neighborhood trying to find Ryan.
Che: Hey,it's your turn to jam on the didg.
Summer: Okay,I'll just be there in a sec,okay?
Che: Okay.Is everything all right?
Summer: Yeah. It's just,when I left to move out here,everything was kind of a mess at home.
Che: Well,it's about to get worse. If the polar ice caps keep melting at their current rate,all of Newport Beach is going to be underwater in ten years.
Summer: Right. Well,it's a little more than that. Everyone hasn't really moved on like I have. I think my friends need me.
Che: Hey,Summer,wherever you go... there you are.
Answering machine: Not to sound like my mom,but I'm worried about him. He could be in real trouble this time. At Roberts'
Julie: Hello.
Neil: Julie!My God!Are you all right? What happened?Was there an earthquake I didn't hear?
Julie: No.Help me. I was just trying to rearrange some furniture. I got some very helpful tips from HGTV.
Neil: Oh,great,and they suggested that you try to move a built-in?
Julie: I didn't know it was a built-in.
Neil: Well,it's not anymore.
Kaitlin: Mom,what are you doing? Rearranging the furniture? It's a built-in.
Julie: Yes,thank you.
Kaitlin: Dr.Roberts wasn't there to help you?
Julie: Yeah,Neil.Where have you been?
Neil: I had a procedure.
Kaitlin: Emergency tummy tuck. Thank God you were there to prevent a tragedy from occurring.
Julie: I have no feeling in my extremities. Neil! I'm sure you have a pill for that.
Julie: Back off,Neil. I was almost just killed by your heinous furniture.
Neil: It's mahogany. It was original with the house. At the club
Man: Well,man,you do draw a crowd. They haven't seen a human punching bag before. Here's your money.You earned it.
Ryan: No,no. Keep it.
Man: Suit yourself. How you going to pay for your hospital bill? I'll see you.
Seth: Hey,man. I saw your little performance.This is very Fight Club. Of course,at the end of that movie,it turns out Edward Norton's insane.
Ryan: Sorry I missed dinner.
Seth: Well,not as sorry as my parents. You want to tell them about your new vocation,or should I?
Ryan: I'm not going to tell them about it,and neither are you. Sorry. Just forget it.
Sandy: Well,I don't know.Sandy's got a really good memory.
Seth: It's not going to be so easy for him to forget the kid he adopted, and my mom's still kind of fond of you,so...
Ryan: I'm doing you guys a favor staying away.
Seth: You're doing us a favor? Face it,man.I bring trouble.
Ryan: Trey,Volchok,you and your family- you're... you're better off without me.
Seth: It's not true.It's not your fault. Any of it. I'm not going to go anywhere until you come with me.
Ryan: Yeah? What are you going to do? You going to fight me?
Seth: Well,seeing as how you don't fight back...
Ryan: I just don't any more,okay? At Cohen's
Kirsten: Pancakes extra fluffy.
Sandy: Bacon extra crispy.
Kirsten: So start talking.
Seth: If you think you can ply me with food... you're right,this bacon is delicious.
Sandy: Thank you.
Seth: But I already told you everything last night.
Kirsten: Yes,you gave us the facts- he's working,he's busy,he forgot.
Sandy: Yeah,but we're not buying it.
Seth: That's what he said. What are you looking for from me?
Sandy: Reading between the lines.
Kirsten: Subtext?
Sandy: How'd he look?
Seth: Uh,he's looked better. But he's looked worse. You know,he might have cut himself shaving or something,uh,had a few nicks here and there.
Kirsten: He was bleeding?
Seth: The bleeding had stopped. You know,they actually have coffee at work,which is where I'm going. So thank you very much for breakfast,and if I hear of anything else I will let you know. And,you guys,probably best just to give him a little more time.
Kirsten: How much more time until we can't reach him?
Sandy: I'm going to check in on Ryan right after work.
[SCENE_BREAK]
At the shopping center
Summer: Cohen! I was just looking for you.
Seth: Summer,what are you doing here?
Summer: I got your message.
Seth: Oh,I'm sorry,I didn't... mean for you to,uh...
Summer: It sounded like an emergency.
Seth: Oh,uh... Yeah,no,it kind of is.
Summer: Well,I'm here to help.
Seth: I'm so glad you came home for me.
Summer: And for Ryan.
Seth: Yeah,no,that's what I meant.
Summer: Right. At the gym
Neil: Hey,Kaitlin... didn't hear you come in.
Kaitlin: Yeah,with your manly grunts,how could you?
Neil: It's important to keep in shape.
Kaitlin: They say s*x is a really good form of exercise, although I doubt you're getting any with my mother these days.
Neil: Our personal life is personal.
Kirsten: Let's talk about your personal life with those other than my mother.
Neil: Listen,young lady... I don't think I understand what you're talking about. So,if you'll excuse me.
Kaitlin: So yesterday when you said you were at work... do you always do your consults down by the beach? With a leggy blonde? One you used to be married to?
Neil: I don't know what you think you saw, but adult relationships can be very complex.
Kaitlin: I know. And that's why I was going to ask my mother to explain. Then I thought with everything that's happened to her,to us,I didn't want to upset her.
Neil: That's a good instinct.
Kaitlin: But then I was going to ask her another question. About these leather boots I saw down at the plaza. They're really cute,and really expensive.I'm a seven and a half. At the Roberts'
Kirsten: Hey,Brad,Eric.
Brad: Hey,Mrs.Cohen.
Eric: Man,is she hot.
Brad: Smoking.
Kirsten: Hey,sweetheart,how's your mother?
Kaitlin: She's recovering from an unfortunate accident with a wall unit.
Kirsten: I told her it was a built-in.
kaitlin: She's in her room if you want to go in. It's not like she'll know you're there anyway. At the shopping center
Summer: $1,500 for a pair of boots? Do you know how many pencils I could buy Sudanese school children? Intro to Developing Nations,it's one of my favorite classes.
Seth: Yeah,I can see that.It's very cool.
Summer: Followed closely by Environmental Studies. Gosh,this is a non-renewable resource.I can't believe this place doesn't have a recycling program.
Seth: You should call our local councilman.
Summer: Good idea.
Seth: I was being sarcastic.
Summer: Oh,I don't do sarcasm anymore,I'm post-ironic.
Seth: You mean earnest?
Summer: Hey,I'm not here to help the environment,okay? I'm here to help Ryan.
Seth: Except he doesn't want our help right now, so why don't I take you home?You can drop off your bag.
Summer: No.You know what ? I'm just going to meet my dad for dinner and then come right back here,so...
Seth: So you're not even going home?
Summer: No.
Seth: Yes.Of course.
Summer: I just don't know if we'll have time.I mean,we have a lot of work to do. 3,000 miles at 30,000 feet,I had a lot of time to think. Rally up your geek army. I have a plan. At the Roberts'
Kirsten: Julie,it's me.
Julie: Kirsten?
Kirsten: Yeah. Can I come in?
Julie: Today's not a good day.
Kirsten: I know. None of them are,but hiding in your room won't make it better.
Julie: Oh,thank God it's you. I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me.
Kirsten: We can sit outside and talk. I'll make some tea.
Julie: Can I call you back? Kirsten,it's so thoughtful of you to stop by. But as you can see,everything's fine.
Kirsten: But you said it wasn't a good day.
Julie: For visitors,because I'm so very busy. Thanks for stopping by,Keeks. Oh,love your top. At the yatch club
Neil: Can we have a table for two,please? My little girl is home.
Summer: Dad,I'm going to use the bathroom,then I'll find you.
Neil: Okay.
Taylor: Excuse me, excuse me, would you pls hurry up ! "To go" means "to go," implying in a hurry. I mean,how long does it take to club a turkey?
Barmaid: Should I put it on your family's tab?
Summer: Considering I have no money other than euros,yes.
Taylor: Oh,my God. Summer.
Summer: I just talked to you,you were in France.
Taylor: And you were in Rhode Island. It's just amazing the way this world works.
Summer: What are you doing back in Newport? Are you meeting your mom?
Taylor: My mom,no.My mom is in Cabo,she won't... be back for a few days. Oh,my God,my mom. You never saw me. At the Roberts'
Julie: Ryan,it's Julie. Can we see each other really soon ? It's important. At the motel
Ryan: What's this?
Julie: It's why I needed to see you. You see,after it happened,I hired a private investigator to find out where he went. Volchok. And now I know. All the information is in this file. I'm not giving it to the cops. Jail's too good for him. I'm giving it to you. You're the only person who can understand how I feel. And you can do with it,with him,what you want.
Ryan: I don't want it.
Julie: What?
Ryan: I don't care about him,I don't care about any of it,and I don't want to start.
Julie: That's a-That's a lie,Ryan. That's... I know you. Even if you didn't come to her funeral or never visit her grave,you still care. At the comics bookstore Seth! You know,I don't usually refer to myself as a genius,but I may have to make an exception. Leon,how is the ink coming? Hey! Am I the only one who's working here?
Summer: Get off,mouth breather.
Seth: Summer,if you want to go home and shower,we can take it from here. No,we can't.I want to go home and shower.
Summer: That's okay,I'll just take a little sponge bath in the ladies room.
Seth: Really? Because you're normally pretty rigorously about your bathing.
Summer: I'm going to go get Ryan.
Seth: Yeah,okay,great,it's just,um,I mean,you haven't even been home yet. You don't want to drop off your bag or...
Summer: What's the point of going home ? If the polar ice caps keep melting at their current rate,all of Newport will be under water in ten years anyway. At the pub
Ryan: Summer.
Summer: Hey,Atwood.
Ryan: If you came here to talk...
Summer: You're not talking. I got it. Great to see you,too. I really like what you've done with your whole face. So,I'm going to need you to come with me now.
Ryan: Can't do it; got to work.
Summer: Right. Running that germy rag across those filthy tables,it's really important stuff. Look,I just flew 3,000 miles...
Ryan: I didn't ask you to.
Summer: No,Seth did. He's worried about you. So are the Cohens. I know you think that you're protecting them,but... you're not,you're just hurting them. Besides,Seth keeps leaving me these endless whiny messages. They're totally clogging up my voice mail. Ryan,come on,take a deep breath. Just let me do what I do best.
Ryan: Which is what?
Summer: Giving orders. Just do what I say,Atwood,one last time. At the Roberts'
Neil: Did I see Kaitlin driving off in the Lexus? The silent treatment,huh? So I guess Kaitlin has talked to you. Julie,I didn't mean for this to happen. I just needed somebody to talk to, and at first that's all it was,just...talk. But you're not even listening to me,are you?
Julie: What?
Neil: Nothing. Centre commercial
Ryan: So why are we going to the comic bookstore?
Summer: Because I said so and you agreed to do what I said,so...
Ryan: As I told Seth,I don't really want to...talk.
Sandy: You don't have to talk. You don't even have to listen.
Kirsten: All you have to do is read.
Seth: Look,Leon,lights.
Ryan: Wh-Wh-What's this? You made me a comic book?
Seth: This is no ordinary comic book,my friend. This is an origin story. Now you may never save the planet,but you did save us,so this is our story. Now,it's true when you showed up,I had a super power,but it was one I didn't want. Being invisible,not as much fun as it sounds. And the ice queen was surrounded by an impenetrable force field. And her silver cell phone was her only link to the outside world. The litigator strained to hold up the weight of the world so burdened with the problems of others that he couldn't see those of his own family. One day the litigator brought his work home with him. Only this time,his work looked strangely like a young Russell Crowe.
Ryan: It's okay,Seth,I can read. In the car
Sandy: Well,here we are.
Ryan: That's it.
Sandy: Thanks for taking the time, letting us make fools of ourselves. It meant a lot to Seth. And to Kirsten. Not so much to me. I'm no softy.
Ryan: No,I know.
Sandy: You should probably get going. You're late.
Ryan: I hope they don't fire me.
Sandy: I bet they got great benefits,huh? Good dental? The accommodations ?
Ryan: Yeah,uh... yeah,actually,about that,I... If I,you know,ever wanted to,you know,once in a while... The,uh,the pool house is probably filled with boxes,right?
Sandy: It's exactly the way you left it. A little too empty if you ask me.
Ryan: Well,it wouldn't take me too long to pack.
Sandy: Kirsten's got some leftovers from last night.
Ryan: Thanks. Thank you.
Sandy: You know,at the risk of saying too much... being there with her when it happened, you're never going to get over it, but you'll get used to it. Just let yourself feel what you need to feel,even if if hurts.
Ryan: Yeah,one step at a time,okay?
Sandy: Okay,I'm going to shut up now.
Ryan: Like,uh,giving these guys some notice,packing my toothbrush.
Sandy: Let me buy you a toothbrush.
Ryan: You got it. See you at home. At the Roberts'
Seth: Well,it seems like Ryan really went for it.
Summer: Seems like it.
Seth: Yeah. I couldn't have done it without you.
Summer: Yeah,totally,since it was my idea and I got him to show up.
Seth: Sure,no,that's what I meant,so... thank you.
Summer: Yeah. Why don't you go home and see if Ryan's there. You know,I really want to know what happened.
Seth: Sure,okay. Another good idea. I'll call you.
Summer: Okay.
Seth: Tomorrow,you want to get breakfast at the diner like old times?
Summer: Sure.
Seth: Okay. At the pub
Man: Hey,man. I heard you were getting out of here. Can't say I blame you. Guy from last night,he's looking for another round if you're interested. In the taxi
Summer: Hey,Cohen,it's me. I really hope Ryan was there when you got back, because I won't be. I totally forgot there's this protest against seal poachers and,um, Heather Mills McCartney is going to be there. I just want to see how she's doing,you know,with everything after the divorce and all,so... listen,I'm sorry,but,uh,Thanksgiving is only a few weeks away. So... okay.. I love you. Give a hoot,don't pollute.Bye. At the cemetery
Julie: I was wondering when you'd finally come here.
Ryan: Thanks for meeting me.
Julie: I'm here every day.
Ryan: You have it?
Julie: If you don't mind me asking,what changed your mind?
Ryan: I just realized... I have to do this. The End.
|
Plan: A: Ryan; Q: Who has moved out of the Cohen house? A: Marissa's death; Q: What is Ryan trying to deal with? A: Brown University; Q: Where is Summer attending college? A: Rhode Island; Q: Where is Brown University located? A: Julie; Q: Who is trying to avoid thinking of Marissa? A: Taylor; Q: Who has convinced everyone she is in France? Summary: Ryan has moved out of the Cohen house and is trying to deal with Marissa's death. Summer is attending Brown University in Rhode Island without Seth. Julie does whatever she can to avoid thinking of Marissa. Meanwhile, Taylor has convinced everyone she's in France.
|
WHITE FLASH OPEN:
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT]
INTERCUT WITH:
[INT. CASINO -- THE WALLFLOWERS - PERFORMANCE]
Lyric: ["Everybody Out of The Water", performed by The Wallflowers] ... on your mark, get set / let's go / you got to move now, before she explodes / look out the window, lookout below / back away from the glass / well, there she blows / the city's been leveled / the hills are in flames / the streets cracked open / and they're pushing up clay / temperature's dropped / the sky is gray / and it ain't even over / here comes drivin' rain / it ain't me that you feel / it's something moving around in here / well, that's blood, that's tears / this ain't a warning / everybody out of the water...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Lyric
: and up on dry land / take what you can / cuz you won't be here again / everybody out of the water ...
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - NIGHT]
(A group of young women walk through the casino's lobby to enter the performance area. The camera runs in slow motion. They're dressed up for a night out on the town.)
(Cut to TOM HAVILAND shooting craps at the crap table. He's surrounded by a group of people and having a wonderful time.)
(Cut to one of the young women from the group walking through the crowd with her friends. She looks up and sees TOM HAVILAND at the crap table.)
Fan (woman): Tom Haviland! Oh, my god. It's really him. I loved him in "I- 95" and ... and that other movie with Julia Roberts.
(Cut to the crap table. TOM HAVILAND holds the dice. He blows on the dice and prepares to set his bet.)
Tom Haviland: Odds on six and eight. Give me thirty-five on the hop and a quarter on the horn for the boys.
House: Thank you, sir.
Tom Haviland: All right.
(TOM HAVILAND shakes the dice, blows on it and lets it go. In slow motion, the dice roll across the crap table, hits the back board and rolls back to where it finally stops on a three and a five.)
Lyric: ...Now I'm treadin' high water / to get back to you / looking for a little spot of something to cling to / there's too many bodies / there's not enough room / God help me and God help you ...
(The table crowd lets out a loud cheer.)
Lyric: ...they say nobody panic / help is on its way, we're already on it / you've got to be brave / if you can fix it now then don't make us wait / man they're ain't nobody coming / back away from the gates ...
(RAYMOND LESTER walks up to TOM HAVILAND.)
Tom Haviland: Hey.
Raymond Lester: How you doing? So what are you in the mood for, huh? A little French, Italian ...
Tom Haviland: No, man, I had Italian last night. How about Chinese?
(TOM HAVILAND has his eyes somewhere across the crap table. RAYMOND LESTER follows his gaze and smiles.)
Raymond Lester: Oh yeah, Chinese. Hey, man. I've got you.
(RAYMOND LESTER leaves. TOM HAVILAND continues with his game. He blows on the dice and lets it roll. It stops on two fives. The table crowd goes wild.)
(Across the table, RAYMOND LESTER approaches two Chinese-looking women. He puts his arms around their shoulders and speaks to them. They both smile.)
Lyric: Everybody out of the water / get up on dry land / take what you can / 'cause you won't be here again / well, I loved you then / like I love you now / that won't matter anyhow / well, this is the new frontier / everybody out of the water ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO -- BEDROOM - NIGHT]
(TOM HAVILAND and the two women from the Casino walk down the sunken bedroom floor to the large bed in the center of the room. They slowly discard their clothing as they reach the bed.)
INTERCUT WITH:
[THE WALLFLOWERS PERFORMANCE]
(The woman in the red dress falls back on the bed. TOM HAVILAND straddles her and the other woman in black straddles her behind him.)
(Camera close up of the women touching and caressing TOM HAVILAND. Camera close up of TOM HAVILAND in slow motion. Music fades. Slow deep breathing sounds louder.)
Lyric: ... everybody out of the water ...
FLASH TO WHITE:
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO -- BEDROOM -- NIGHT]
(GRISSOM is carrying his CSI kit and walking down the short steps to the sunken bedroom. He approaches the bed. BRASS is already there. He turns his cell phone off.)
Brass: The subject, Tom Haviland, says he had a romp with two ladies between 1:00 am and 2:00 am. Then he left them in the sheets and went back to the crap table. He returned a half an hour later and found Kim like this with her throat slashed.
(Sprawled out on the bloodied bed is the woman in black. GRISSOM crouches low next to the bed. He shines the light from his flashlight on the victim's neck.)
Grissom: The extent of the coagulation suggests she died before that. Possibly before 1:00 am.
Brass: When he puts himself in the room.
Grissom: You said "ladies." Where's the other one?
Brass: Uh ... Tonya. He said she was gone when he returned.
Grissom: Gone? That's an elastic term.
Brass: Yeah, Mr. Haviland's assistant a Raymond Lester, notified hotel security and called 9-1-1.
Grissom: What do we know about Raymond?
Brass: Eyewitnesses place him downstairs at the time this took place. Mr. Lester is in ... LA at a morning meeting. He's flying back this evening.
Grissom: And Mr. Haviland?
Brass: He's in the other room.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - ROOM NEXT TO BEDROOM]
Man: (o.s.) Do you do your own stunts?
(TOM HAVILAND holds a stock publicity photograph and signs it. Surrounding him are three men talking with the movie star.)
Tom Haviland: Yeah, I do my own stunts, but, look, I don't want to dog on the guys who use stunt doubles, right? Believe me, when you're hand gliding over the Grand Canyon, you should think twice.
(The man laughs at the response.)
Man: (o.s.) I've always wanted to try that. Would you mind making it out to my girlfriend please ...
(The camera pulls back. Off to the side some distance away, WARRICK and GRISSOM watch. GRISSOM puts his glasses on and watches with no expression on his face. WARRICK turns from watching TOM HAVILAND and looks at GRISSOM'S non-expression.)
Warrick: You don't recognize that guy, do you? It's Tom Haviland, movie star.
(GRISSOM nods slightly.)
Grissom: Clark Gable was a movie star.
(GRISSOM approaches the group.)
Grissom: Excuse me, fellas.
Tom Haviland: Keep the peace, boys.
(The mini-crowd leaves.)
Grissom: Mr. Haviland, my name's Gil Grissom. I'm with the Las Vegas Crime Lab.
Tom Haviland: (smiles) Oh, well, do you have a sheet of paper? 'Cause I'm kind of running out of things to write on here.
Grissom: What?
Tom Haviland: Oh. My bad.
(TOM HAVILAND looks down and re-caps the pen in his hand.)
Grissom: I need to ask you did you, by any chance, touch the victim after you found her?
Tom Haviland: No.
Grissom: You sure?
Tom Haviland: Look, I wouldn't want people to know, but I got creeped out. I kept my distance waiting for the ambulance.
Grissom: That's all you did?
Tom Haviland: Well, I did ask her who did it. And she said Tonya.
Grissom: Really? The other girl.
(TOM HAVILAND nods.)
Grissom: Hey, Warrick?
(WARRICK, standing off to the side, walks toward the two men.)
Grissom: Would you mind if we took a look at your hands?
Tom Haviland: Yeah, sure.
(TOM HAVILAND holds both his hands out palms up.)
Grissom: Palms down, please.
(GRISSOM turns on his flashlight and shines it on TOM HAVILAND'S fingernails. WARRICK shifts slightly as he knows what GRISSOM is looking for.)
Grissom: You said you never touched the victim.
(TOM HAVILAND shakes his head. No. WARRICK uses a swab on TOM HAVILAND'S cuticles. Camera close up on the swab as it picks up a dark residue under the nailbeds. WARRICK looks at the swab tip.)
Warrick: It's blood. I guess you forgot to scrub the back of your hands, huh?
Tom Haviland: I get one phone call, right?
Grissom: Sure, just like in the movies.
HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER. ROLL TITLE CREDITS.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - LOBBY -- NIGHT]
(Camera view in slow motion. TOM HAVILAND, handcuffed behind his back and escorted by BRASS, GRISSOM, WARRICK and an officer, walk through the hallway. They turn the corner and just outside the glass doors in the center of the casino lobby is a large group of reporters intermixed with fans and curious onlookers.)
(Normal camera speed resumes when the security officers open the glass doors. The crowd pushes against the group of officers there to provide security.)
Reporter: Tom, did you do it?
Reporter: Tom! Tom!
Fan (male): You're the best, Tom. Stay strong.
Reporter 1 (woman): Captain, can you tell us exactly what prompted PD to arrest Tom for this murder?
Brass: Conflicting statements and forensic evidence.
Reporter 2 (man): Could you be more specific?
Brass: Blood evidence.
Reporter 3 (man): What kind? Where did you find it, exactly?
Brass: That's all for now. When we have more information, we'll release it to you. Thank you excuse us.
(BRASS with TOM HAVILAND push onward through the casino lobby. The reporters follow in their wake shouting their questions at the men. WARRICK and GRISSOM remain behind then turn to move to the side.)
Reporter: Tom, did you do it?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - LOBBY - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS]
(SARA, CATHERINE and NICK walk across the casino floor and meet up with GRISSOM and WARRICK. Each is carrying their CSI kit. CATHERINE is on her cell phone.)
Sara: I like his movies. (she shrugs) Some of them are good.
(GRISSOM has a thoughtful look on his face. CATHERINE pulls the phone away from her ear and puts it away.)
Catherine: DA just got the call. Tom's manager hired Marjorie Wescott to defend him.
(GRISSOM considers the news.)
Nick: "Soundbite" Wescott?
Catherine: Guilty, rich client, high-profile case it's right up her alley. Publicity for her new cable show.
Grissom: Forget about who's involved. We do this like we do any other case.
Warrick: Well, I'm going to get this blood evidence to DNA. I'll catch up with you guys later.
Nick: All right.
Catherine: So, we'll take the suite. It's the penthouse, right?
(CATHERINE leaves. SARA follows.)
Sara: Later.
(GRISSOM and NICK remain behind.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - CRAPS TABLE - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS]
(NICK and GRISSOM walk through the crowd. They approach the craps table TOM HAVILAND played at in the teaser. The CASINO MANAGER stands off to the side looking at his watch.)
Grissom: Witnesses place Tom Haviland at this table before and after the time of the murder.
Nick: I'll look for transfers.
Grissom: Yeah, well, he's already admitting to sleeping with the victim so hair and fiber evidence won't mean anything.
Nick: Okay.
(NICK ducks under the crime scene tape, turns and holds it up for GRISSOM. GRISSOM doesn't move.)
Nick: You coming?
Grissom: I'm just going to supervise on this one.
Nick: All right.
(NICK turns around to process the craps table. GRISSOM remains outside the taped area.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL - BEDROOM -- NIGHT]
(Camera close up of KIM HSU'S body being placed on the gurney for removal A plastic sheet covers her face. The coroners take the body away.)
(SARA is crouched low next to the bed. She's taking picture of a bra on the bed. HANK PEDDIGREW appears next to her.)
Hank Peddigrew: Hey, Sara.
Sara: Hey. I thought you left.
Hank Peddigrew: I need to talk to you.
(SARA snaps a photo.)
Sara: Uh ... can it wait till after work?
Hank Peddigrew: It's about work. When I tried to revive the victim the bra was in the way, so I repositioned it. I didn't think about it until I was at the elevator.
Sara: Oh, um ... can you tell me where it was exactly?
Hank Peddigrew: A little ... a little over here.
(HANK PEDDIGREW points a little to the right of the bra. SARA moves the bra.)
Sara: You sure?
(He nods.)
Hank Peddigrew: Thanks.
Sara: Thanks? Thanks nothing. I'm going to have to put it in my report. "Evidence moved due to life-saving efforts" with before and after pictures.
Hank Peddigrew: Sorry.
(SARA smiles. HANK PEDDIGREW leaves. SARA lifts the camera to take another picture. CATHERINE enters the bedroom.)
Catherine: I could live in that bathroom. So, I've checked every plumbing fixture in this place. There's no blood.
(CATHERINE rests her kit down and crouches next to SARA.)
Sara: Grissom said he found blood under movie boy's nailbeds.
Catherine: And that sheet looks like a butcher's apron. Movie boy had to wash his hands someplace.
(CATHERINE thinks about it. She stands and takes her kit. She leaves the bedroom.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO -- HALLWAY]
(CATHERINE exits the TOM HAVILAND'S hotel room. She makes her way through the hall looking for something. A few feet away from the hotel room door on her left, she finds it. The Utility Room (Employees Only). CATHERINE opens the door and turns on the light but doesn't enter the room just yet.)
(The light above the sink flickers on. CATHERINE puts her kit down and puts a covering on her shoes before entering the Utility room. She uses her flashlight on the floor and carefully enters the room making her way to the sink.)
(She takes special note of the spot directly in front of the sink. She reaches into the sink and removes the drain stopper. On the underside, she finds blood.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - CRAP TABLE]
(Down in the casino, NICK swabs the crap table. Next to him, the CASINO MANAGER interrupts.)
Casino Manager: Can the casino do anything to hurry this up, Mr. Stokes?
Nick: I'm processing as fast as I can, sir. It would help if I had the dice used at this table.
Casino Manager: We replace the dice every hour.
Nick: I've got my work cut out for me then, don't I?
(The CASINO MANAGER nods slightly and leaves to get the dice. Camera holds on NICK.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - UTILITY ROOM]
(Under the sink, CATHERINE works to remove a portion of the pipe. She successfully removes the pipe and looks inside where she sees some evidence of blood.)
(Cut to CATHERINE dusting the floor between the sink and the door. She manages to successfully lift a bare footprint off the floor. CATHERINE smiles at the find..)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. PALMS HOTEL & CASINO - CRAP TABLE]
(On the crap table in front of him, NICK has five sets of dice evenly spaced. A stack of evidence envelopes is off to the side.)
(NICK swabs the dice in front of him and it shows up positive for blood. NICK smiles. He looks up directly into the security camera above the table.)
(Cut to the security camera black and white view of the crap table from above with NICK looking up at it. NICK signals to the CASINO MANAGER standing off to the side that he's finished. NICK starts putting the dice into the envelopes as people start to appear around the crap table.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. WARRICK'S CAR -- ROADWAY IN FRONT OF THE CALIFORNIA HOTEL & CASINO --
[SCENE_BREAK]
NIGHT]
(WARRICK transporting the blood evidence taken from TOM HAVILAND. He drives on the roadway and comes to a stop behind some cars. The street light is red. Cars are honking their horns. In the middle of the intersection, there's a car accident. Indistinct radio transmissions sound in the background.)
Warrick: Great. What is this?
(WARRICK stops the car. He sees the accident and also notices the driver's door opening with the driver getting out of the car.)
Warrick: Oh, great. Here we go. (to phone) This is CSI Brown. I got a T&A, at Ogden and Main. Please send EMS, Emergency Medical Assistance as soon as you can. Hey ...
(The woman struggles out of the car. She's bloodied and in shock. She's standing on her feet. WARRICK puts his phone away and grabs her trying to steady her.)
ACCIDENT VICTIM (WOMAN): I can't see.
Warrick: You all right?
ACCIDENT VICTIM (WOMAN): I can't see. Help me.
Warrick: Okay. Okay, all right...
ACCIDENT VICTIM (WOMAN): Help me!
Warrick: Okay. Hey, stay with me. Stay with me. Let me look at you...
ACCIDENT VICTIM (WOMAN): I think I'm going to pass out.
(The woman collapses against WARRICK. She's still conscious.)
Warrick: Hey, no, no, no ...
(WARRICK holds the woman upright.)
Warrick: Okay. All right. All right, keep your head back. All right, I got to get a towel for your head.
ACCIDENT VICTIM (WOMAN): No, no, no! Don't leave me, please. Don't leave me, please.
Warrick: Okay, I'll be here with you for the ambulance, okay? Take a deep breath.
(WARRICK lifts his head and yells out to the crowd of curious onlookers.)
Warrick: Can someone give me a towel?!
(A camera flashes from someone in the crowd. No one moves to assist. A siren can be heard getting louder.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - FORENSIC AUTOPSY]
Robbins: Wound tract tells us the weapon was sharp, irregular with a tight curve.
(ROBBINS takes off his glasses and looks up at GRISSOM.)
Grissom: Well, let's see. Hotel suite. Probably a weapon of opportunity. Corkscrew, maybe.
Robbins: Corkscrew would be consistent with this tissue damage.
Grissom: Is it all the way down to the larynx?
Robbins: Transected the superior thyroid artery external carotid, causing exsanguination. Both laryngeal branches of the vagus nerve and her larynx were severed. Vagus nerve controls the muscles in the larynx. Any injury to this nerve and its surrounding muscle results in immediate paralysis of the throat.
(Quick CGI POV of KIM HSU in a full open mouth scream. The camera zooms in through the mouth and through the larynx. A corkscrew pierces the muscles in the larynx. Blood spurts. The screaming stops. End of CGI POV.)
Robbins: Voice box was immobilized.
(GRISSOM doesn't respond. He looks at ROBBINS.)
Robbins: Why the look?
Grissom: Tom Haviland claimed that this victim told him the name of her murderer before she died.
(ROBBINS shakes his head and scoffs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(A group of people watch the television set both inside the lab across the hall and in the hallway. The camera shifts and a second television set is also on the news coverage inside the CSI Lab.)
Paula Francis (tv Reporter): (on tv) Detectives and forensics experts are sifting through evidence a this hour, making their case against actor Tom Haviland. We'll recap the story as we wait for a live feed from a downtown news conference with Haviland's attorney. Several witnesses have already spoken to police about Haviland's actions outside the murder ...
(With the remote, NICK turns of television.)
Nick: Proceed, sir.
Grissom: Okay, we got at least one murder charge on Haviland. I imagine we'll add another one.
Catherine: Tonya.
Grissom: So, let's run Kim Hsu's murder. Haviland slashed her throat probably with a corkscrew.
(Quick flashback to the hotel bedroom. A woman is screaming. TOM HAVILAND swings his hand and the woman's screaming stops. She falls back against the bed. Flash to white. TOM HAVILAND holds the corkscrew in his right hand. Flash to white. He opens the palm of his hand and looks down at his bloodied hand. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to CATHERINE.)
Catherine: Then, showing consciousness of guilt he washed the blood off in this room which is right around the corner from his suite.
(Quick flash back to TOM HAVILAND standing in front of the sink. Flashback is green-tinged to show that it was done without the light on and in darkness. Sounds of water running can be heard. TOM HAVILAND washes his hands and his chest from the blood. He glances behind him. White flash to camera view of TOM HAVILAND'S bare feet.)
Catherine: (V.O.) We found dilute blood in the sink, pipes and ... footprint ridges there.
(Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Grissom: Do we have the results on the blood from Haviland's hands?
Warrick: I got held up behind a traffic accident. I put it in with Greg. I'm not sure if he's done with it yet.
(GREG walks in holding the test results. He hands them to GRISSOM and gives his report.)
Greg: I got it right here. The forensic sample matches the reference. The blood on Tom's hands was definitely the victim's. Triple-checked the data.
Warrick: We got our guy then.
Nick: Oh, here she is.
(NICK picks up the remote and turns the television sound back up. Everyone's attention focuses back on the screen.)
(Captions on television screen: LIVE "Murder Charge Unfounded / EYEWITNESS NEWS")
Marjorie Wescott: (on tv) Aside from the fact that the other woman in this case also known as Tonya is still at large and is still a likely suspect in this murder the evidence Las Vegas CSI did collect the evidence they're using to railroad my client, Tom Haviland, has been completely and irretrievably compromised. I'm holding in my hand compromised, contaminated evidence, ladies and gentlemen.
(CATHERINE gasps. She turns to look at GRISSOM who looks equally surprised at the announcement. He turns and looks at NICK who doesn't seem all that surprised at the defense attorney's tactics. He sighs.)
(Camera cuts back to GRISSOM who processes this information thoughtfully.)
Marjorie Wescott: CSI should be ashamed; and you, as citizens, should be outraged. This not how we do things in America.
HARD CUT TO BLACK.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- HALLWAY]
District Attorney: They're saying the chain of custody was broken. The sample was contaminated when you stopped to help the woman.
(The District Attorney walks through the hallway. CATHERINE walks next to him, WARRICK and GRISSOM behind them.)
Warrick: That blood was not contaminated. I recovered it from the back of Tom Haviland's hand sealed it, delivered it to sanders in DNA.
Catherine: Did you lock your car when you helped this driver?
Warrick: I was out of my car two, three minutes tops.
[CLOSED-CAPTIONED: CATHERINE (distantly): Dispatch put you out of your vehicle for seven minutes and 11 seconds.]
(Camera close up of GRISSOM in slow motion. The sound is extremely muffled as we hear what GRISSOM struggles to hear.)
(Still in slow motion, the camera cuts to the DISTRICT ATTORNEY from GRISSOM'S POV. We see his lips move only when they are in view. We can't hear what he's saying. Camera cuts back to GRISSOM who tries to follow the conversation. WARRICK speaks indistinctly. The DISTRICT ATTORNEY speaks indistinctly. The voices slowly get louder and clearer.)
... at the DA if you had.
Warrick: They day I do that is the day I turn in my badge.
(GRISSOM follows behind, but he's no longer trying to follow the conversation. He opens the folder he's carrying and begins to leaf through it.)
Catherine: Our evidence is solid. We can't let 'em take us out of our game.
District Attorney: That may be difficult. Marjorie's been flooding us with legal motions.
Catherine: Oh, that's what lawyers do; especially when their clients are guilty.
(The DISTRICT ATTORNEY stops in the hallway and turns around to face the three CSIs. GRISSOM is now reading a file in his hands.)
District Attorney: These motions are different.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE]
Grissom: Tom Haviland's attorneys are not waiving time.
(NICK is surprised by this.)
Nick: Are you serious?
Sara: They're actually exercising their right to a speedy trial?
Grissom: No requests for continuances, no stall tactics. They're pushing for their day in court.
Warrick: Good defense attorney always does the last thing you expect.
Catherine: Yeah. What typically drags on for months has now been put on the fast track and the prelim is less than seventy-two hours.
Greg: I'm only done processing half the evidence.
Catherine: You're going to have to call in help, because if the judge thinks that our evidence isn't strong enough to go to trial he's going to dismiss the charges on Tom.
Sara: Can't the DA drop the charges and we'll refile when we get our evidence together?
Catherine: Sure, but the odds are that Tom will relocate to Europe and pull a Polanski.
Greg: And what's a Polanski?
Grissom: Get-out-of-jail-free card. One more thing: Wescott just added a forensic scientist to their roster. She wants him to examine every piece of evidence we have against Haviland.
Nick: As soon as it's processed they'll get a copy of our report.
Grissom: They're entitled to see it as it's processed.
Nick: I've never done a case where the defendant took advantage of that rule of discovery.
Grissom: Well, when you can't attack the evidence itself, you attack the method of gathering the evidence.
Sara: So who's their guy?
Grissom: Dr. Phillip Gerard.
Sara: Phillip Gerard? Your mentor is their forensic scientist?
Grissom: Yeah. Marjorie Wescott's a smart lawyer.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- HALLWAY]
(BRASS and GRISSOM walk through the hallway.)
Brass: Tom's best friend, Ray -- he's coming in tonight. Volunteering to give a blood sample.
Grissom: He knows his blood's not on those sheets. They're trying to choke us with evidence.
Brass: He also lawyered up. Guess who's paying the legal bills?
Grissom: The movie star.
Brass: Legalized hush money. Ought to be a law against it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB]
(NICK works on the security video tape from the camera above the crap table. The time on the monitor reads 11:58:06 PM. The video is of TOM HAVILAND shooting craps at the table.)
(The keyboard clicks as NICK works on it. His pager beeps. NICK looks at the pager. He turns his head. In the background in the next room, GREG is watching NICK. GREG holds up the pager and waves. NICK sighs and gets up to see what GREG wants.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- CONTINUOUS]
(NICK pushes the glass door open and enters the DNA lab.)
Nick: You beeped me from across the hall?
Greg: Uh, yeah. I waved; you didn't look up.
(NICK smiles.)
Greg: The blood contributions on that die ...
Nick: Yeah?
Greg: ...Tom Haviland and Kim.
Nick: So when he blew on the dice, he blew victim blood.
(Quick flashback to the craps table that night. Close up of TOM HAVILAND holding the pair of dice and raising it close to his lips to blow on it. Cut to CGI POV of TOM HAVILAND blowing on the dice. Extreme camera close up of saliva particles passing from TOM HAVILAND to the dice. Camera moves in closer to a particular saliva particle in through a microscopic view to show red blood cells within the saliva. End of CGI POV. Cut back to TOM HAVILAND turning toward the crap table to roll the dice. End of flash back. Resume to present.)
Greg: Now, I know I haven't been getting out in the field very much, but how does a guy get a girl's blood in his mouth when he's killing her?
Nick: Murder's messy, my friend.
(Quick flashback to TOM HAVILAND in the bedroom on the bed just after slashing KIM HSU'S throat. Flash to white. TOM HAVILAND wiping his mouth using his right arm. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Greg: So, now you have to find it on the surveillance tape?
Nick: If I want to present it to a jury, yeah. Nowadays, people expect a show.
(NICK hands the test results back to GREG.)
Nick: I should've gone to film school.
(NICK turns to leave to go back to the Audio/Video Lab. GREG looks down at the test results.)
(In front of him, the reflection of an elderly man appears. We don't see the man, but we do know that he's watching GREG through the glass window. Unaware that he's being watched, GREG holds the dice from one hand to the other and rolls it on the table in front of him.)
(GREG looks up and notices the silver-haired man standing outside the glass window watching him. It's PHILLIP GERARD. GREG doesn't smile. Camera holds on GREG.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(SARA is examining the bloodied bed sheet. It hangs from the ceiling. GRISSOM walks in and stops next to SARA. He holds a flashlight like a pointer and uses it on the sheet as he talks. SARA holds a file folder that she references.)
Grissom: Okay... so the flowing pattern is from the victim's neck wound. This other pattern, though...
Sara: The waffle pattern -- I know, I'm trying to figure that out.
Grissom: No, no. Here-- the blood spatter.
(SARA looks down at the file.)
Sara: Vic didn't sustain any trauma that would've caused a medium velocity spatter.
Grissom: She wouldn't have. I think her throat was slashed, to shut her up.
(Quick flashback to the hotel bedroom. The girl behind TOM HAVILAND on the bed screams uncontrollably. TOM HAVILAND grabs her and flings her to the bed. There's a ripping sound and the screaming stops. The woman falls back to the bed with a thud. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to SARA looking at GRISSOM.)
Grissom: She was collateral damage. My guess ... these blood patterns mean that Tonya's dead.
(GRISSOM looks at the blood spatter on the sheet.)
(Quick flashback to a fist hitting the woman in red on the bed with so much force that blood spatters as she hits the bed. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Grissom: And I bet she was the first to die. Rage killing.
(Quick flashback to the same clip of the fist hitting the woman in red on the bed. Blood spatters against the bed sheet. She falls back against the bed. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Grissom: (V.O.) Sudden hand-to-hand combat.
Sara: I'll get all this to Greg but we are definitely going to need the DNA guy from days to pull all this together in time.
(Behind SARA and GRISSOM, PHILLIP GERARD enters the Lab. Neither SARA nor GRISSOM notice he's there. He lifts a camera up and takes a picture of the items on the table. The camera flashes.)
(GRISSOM and SARA turn around.)
Phillip Gerard: Sorry, Gil. Just doing my job.
(PHILLIP GERARD smiles. SARA turns slightly toward GRISSOM who makes the introduction.)
Grissom: Sara, this is Dr. Gerard. Anything you say to him will be considered testimony.
Phillip Gerard: Then, hopefully, you'll say I'm better-looking than I appear on TV.
(PHILLIP GERARD smiles. SARA smiles back easily.)
Phillip Gerard: You're the CSI who recovered the clothes from the crime scene.
Sara: Yes, and the bedsheets.
(As SARA answers and glances back at GRISSOM. GRISSOM watches the exchange closely.)
Phillip Gerard: Did you follow departmental procedures-- transporting this evidence back to the lab?
Sara: To the letter.
Phillip Gerard: Took multiple photos at the scene?
(Camera cuts to GRISSOM who doesn't say anything. SARA answers the question flawlessly.)
Sara: Our protocols stipulate we take overalls locator shots and close-ups. I took multiples of each.
Phillip Gerard: That's great. Save your gloves from the scene?
Sara: Eight pair in the evidence room, in a sealed envelope.
(SARA nods.)
Phillip Gerard: Terrific. DA just provided me with copies of pictures of the victim's bra.
(PHILLIP GERARD holds out a file folder to GRISSOM. GRISSOM takes it. He opens it and replies.)
Grissom: Well, we already know the bra was moved. Sara filed a supplemental report to that effect.
Phillip Gerard: I know. I wish she'd mentioned her relationship with the EMT who moved the bra.
(Camera cuts to SARA who doesn't respond. She turns slightly toward GRISSOM. GRISSOM doesn't look at SARA, his eyes glued to PHILLIP GERARD.)
Grissom: Relationship?
Phillip Gerard: A Hank Peddigrew.
(GRISSOM turns to look at SARA who catches the look and turns away to look at PHILLIP GERARD.)
Phillip Gerard: We just interviewed him. He says he thanked her for letting him move the bra back.
(PHILLIP GERARD looks at SARA. SARA responds.)
Sara: He was just, uh, being polite and, um, it's not a relationship. We go to movies ...
Grissom: (interrupting) Doc? Why don't you and I go to my office. We can talk there.
Phillip Gerard: Thank you.
(PHILLIP GERARD turns to leave the room. GRISSOM walks around SARA and the table to follow. On his way out, GRISSOM stops and turns around to look at SARA.)
Sara: (subdued) I'll get the blood swatches to DNA identify any additional donors on the sheet.
(GRISSOM closes his mouth and doesn't say anything. He turns and leaves the room. Camera lingers on SARA.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - BREAK ROOM -- DAY]
Paula Francis: When asked about the murder of Kim Hsu a spokesman for Tom Haviland says he sends his condolences to the Hsu family. Certainly, this is an event hat he won't soon forget and neither will the resort where the grisly crime played out. Now it's up to prosecutors ...
(CATHERINE sits at the break room table looking through some papers. The television is on. GRISSOM walks in.)
Grissom: Catherine?
(Behind her GRISSOM opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a bottle of water.)
Catherine: Marjorie's requesting copies of CSI's proficiency test records, by midnight.
Grissom: So relax. If any of us had failed the yearly proficiency test, we wouldn't be here.
(GRISSOM takes a sip of water and leans against the counter. CATHERINE sighs and shakes her head.)
Catherine: You completely forget, don't you? My test is on appeal.
Grissom: Oh, right.
Catherine: Board said I was wrong on one question. I said the question was ambiguous. They're going to rule my way, but not before the prelim.
(CATHERINE sighs again. She turns back to her papers.)
Catherine: (softly) Just trying to rattle me.
Grissom: Is it working?
(CATHERINE puts her paper down, annoyed.)
Catherine: Maybe I should just take a page out of your book. If I don't collect or analyze anything I don't have to testify. Of course, it helps to be boss. Very politic. Ecklie must be rubbing off on you.
(GRISSOM puts the bottle down on the counter.)
Grissom: Yeah, that's it. Ecklie.
(GRISSOM leaves the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(WARRICK walks down the hallway toward GRISSOM. He's holding some papers, an envelope and looking very unhappy. He sees GRISSOM and turns around to walk with GRISSOM in the direction he just came from.)
Warrick: I just got served.
(WARRICK hands the papers to GRISSOM.)
Warrick: Movie star's lawyer wants the shirt that I wore to the crime scene.
Grissom: So give it to him.
Warrick: I had to throw it out.
Grissom: Why?
Warrick: It was covered in the blood from the accident victim.
(GRISSOM and WARRICK stop walking.)
Grissom: Well, you have to find it; otherwise, it'll look like you've got something to hide.
Warrick: Oh, CSI's on trial now?
Grissom: CSI's always on trial, Warrick; you know this. Burden of proof is on us.
(GRISSOM hands the papers back to WARRICK and leaves. WARRICK sighs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - AUDIO/VIDEO LAB - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(NICK is still working on the camera surveillance tapes over the crap table. Time counter on screen is at 12:15:01 AM. Standing behind him is PHILLIP GERARD. GRISSOM walks into the lab.)
Phillip Gerard: I want to compliment you on how quickly you've organized the video forensics.
(Though he doesn't say anything, GRISSOM seems pleased with the comment.)
(Camera cuts back to the monitor. Time counter on screen indicates 1:31:07 AM. At the crap table, RAYMOND LESTER is shown talking on his cell phone.)
(Camera on monitor cuts to RAYMOND LESTER exiting the elevator to the lobby carrying a golf club set over his left shoulder while dragging a hard golf club shell bag with his right hand. Time counter on screen indicates 2:21:00 AM.)
Phillip Gerard: Raymond.
Grissom: Nicky, wait a minute. Go back. Zoom in on the club bag. He's jammed a lot more clubs into that bag. Without those clubs, the hard-shell bag could be big enough to fit a body.
Nick: Yeah, Tonya's. Looks like Raymond was disposing of the bodies for your client. You think he ran out of time before he could move Kim's out?
(Monitor cuts to RAYMOND LESTER passing the front lobby desk with the two golf bags.)
Phillip Gerard: Or Ray was disposing of them for himself. You've just supplied Tom Haviland with reasonable doubt.
Nick: No. What I showed you on video is Ray in the casino during the time the murders were committed.
(For emphasis, NICK, rewinds the video back to the clip of the casino with RAYMOND LESTER at the crap table while talking on his cell phone. A blinking red frame is around RAYMOND LESTER for easy identification. Time stamp on the monitor reads 1:31:12 AM.)
Phillip Gerard: His zeal is clouding his judgment. It's not what did happen; it's what the jury will believe could have happened.
(NICK doesn't respond. Neither does GRISSOM. Camera holds on GRISSOM.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. LAS VEGAS (STOCK) - DAY]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM -- DAY]
(The hard shell golf bag sits on the interrogation table. GRISSOM looks at it. RAYMOND LESTER and his LAWYER stand off to the side. BRASS is also in the room.)
Grissom: Very considerate of you to bring this golf bag in without insisting on a warrant.
Raymond Lester's Lawyer: Ray wants to help the investigation in any way he can.
Brass: Tell me, counselor does Tom Haviland pay in a timely fashion?
Raymond Lester's Lawyer: Ray and Tom are friends but we're just looking for the truth here, aren't we?
Brass: Great. Then you can confirm what we already know from Ray's cell phone records: Tom Haviland called you to his suite at 1:31 A.M. To help him clean up his double murder.
Raymond Lester: No, he called so I could hear him with the girls. He does that sometimes.
(GRISSOM examines the case while BRASS questions RAYMOND LESTER.)
Brass: Okay. We have a surveillance tape of you carrying what appears to be one of the bodies out of the casino an hour later in a golf bag identical to this one. Here are some photos from that tape.
(BRASS puts a file folder of photos on the table. RAYMOND LESTER'S LAWYER picks it up. Both he and RAYMOND LESTER look through the file folder.)
Raymond Lester's Lawyer: He was taking Mr. Haviland's clubs to the airport.
Brass: He's dumping a body. And as we speak the police department is out looking for it.
(GRISSOM opens the golf bag and notices the smell immediately.)
Grissom: Solvent. This bag's just been cleaned.
(GRISSOM turns to look at RAYMOND LESTER.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LAB -- DAY]
(NICK turns off the lights and puts on his protective eye wear. GRISSOM starts spraying luminol inside the bag. PHILLIP GERARD stands to the side observing.)
(The golf bag glows.)
Nick: Uh, Ray was caddying a dead body. We show him this he'll rat out Tommy Terrific in a heartbeat.
(Neither PHILLIP GERARD or GRISSOM respond. They all watch as the glow moves across the interior. This isn't good.)
Nick: Uh-oh.
Phillip Gerard: Glow's too uniform.
Grissom: The luminol's cross-reacting with the bleach.
Nick: I don't believe this.
Phillip Gerard: Any blood evidence in there has been destroyed.
Nick: This is B.S., man. Total B.S. This guy, Tom Haviland's, got blood all over his hands ...
Grissom: (warning) Nick ...
Nick: ... and friends to lie for him! This is B.S.!
Grissom: (firmly) Nick! Go get a soda.
(NICK takes off his goggles, puts it on the table and leaves the room. PHILLIP GERARD takes a step toward GRISSOM.)
Phillip Gerard: Marjorie's going to take him to the cleaners.
(PHILLIP GERARD leaves the room.)
(GRISSOM'S had enough. He takes off his latex gloves and follows PHILLIP GERARD out the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE INTERROGATION ROOM -- DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(Out in the hallway, GRISSOM catches up to PHILLIP GERARD.)
Grissom: Hey. What happened to you? You were a pioneer in forensic science. How many bad guys did you put away in Hennepin County?
Phillip Gerard: My share. How many innocent men have been locked away since then because of sloppy investigating shortcut forensics?
Grissom: You look for mistakes in any lab you'll find them.
Phillip Gerard: I shouldn't be able to, Gil.
Grissom: Humans are fallible.
Phillip Gerard: Not this fallible -- compromised blood, sweetheart deals ...
Grissom: No, no, no, no. You're subverting good evidence. These are good people.
Phillip Gerard: "The Accused is entitled to the best defense possible."
Grissom: The Accused is entitled, yeah. He's a movie star, that's why he's entitled. He's killed two women. You know it. But you're willing to decimate these CSIs so that you can spoon-feed a jury into letting him walk.
Phillip Gerard: A jury believes me because of my reputation just like they do you.
Grissom: The difference is, Philip, I get the same paycheck regardless of what I testify to.
(PHILLIP GERARD sighs.)
Phillip Gerard: I'm saying this as a friend. For the reputation of CSI, tell the DA to drop this, re-file down the road.
(GRISSOM nods at his former mentor, truly seeing him for the first time.)
Grissom: What about the victims' families? Who's their friend?
(PHILLIP GERARD doesn't respond.)
Grissom: My guys will see you in court.
(PHILLIP GERARD leaves GRISSOM standing in the hallway. Camera holds on GRISSOM.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - DNA LAB]
(Inside the DNA Lab, the usually boisterous GREG SANDERS is dressed completely covered. From the head wear to the protective mask. He isn't taking any chances.)
(GREG looks up from the test results on the table back into the microscope. He picks up the paper and heads out the door. He crosses the hallway and heads straight for GRISSOM'S office where GRISSOM sits behind his desk.)
[INT. CSI - GRISSOM'S OFFICE - DAY - CONTINUOUS]
Greg: Psst, Grissom. (speaking quietly): We got a development. I went over those swatches that Sara gave me from the bed sheet.
Grissom: Are you whispering?
Greg: I don't want that Gerard guy to hear me.
Grissom: Well, he's not here, so stop it.
(SARA appears next to GRISSOM'S desk. She looks from GREG to GRISSOM.)
Sara: What's, uh, going on?
(GREG straightens.)
Greg: Well, um ... I was testing those swatches that Sara gave me, and three of the swatches came up Kim. The other four, with the spatter amelogenin results are XY.
Grissom: Blood's from a male?
Sara: Tom Haviland's.
Greg: No. And not his friend Ray's, either.
Sara: There was another guy in that room. That's, that's great. The defense has us moving so fast we can't make sense of our own evidence.
(GRISSOM holds up a hand.)
Grissom: That's what they want.
Sara: Should we call the DA and let him know?
Grissom: Tell him what? That we might have found a motive for the movie star?
Sara: Motive. What are you talking about?
(Before GRISSOM can respond, NICK interrupts from the doorway.)
Nick: Hey, Grissom. Brass just called. They found the other victim, Tonya. Briarway golf course.
(Camera holds on GRISSOM.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. BRIARWAY GOLF COURSE -- DAY]
(Buried in a sand trap, NICK, along with another Forensic Member slowly digs up the body. Currently, her face is exposed. It's the woman in red from the teaser.)
Brass: (o.s.) Matches the description of Tonya. Maintenance guy found her a half an hour ago. The golf pro says they've closed the back nine down for months -- improvements.
(The camera pans back giving a top view of the scene. BRASS, GRISSOM and PHILLIP GERARD observe from the side.)
Brass: Did, uh, Tom Haviland ever play a boxer? Girl's face looks like hamburger meat.
Grissom: Looks like uncontrollable rage to me.
Nick: Grissom, you might want to come down here.
(GRISSOM doesn't move from the side.)
Grissom: Just say it, Nick.
Nick: Beans and franks. Tonya's a man.
Grissom: Looks like that old Hollywood saying: "Never get caught with a dead girl or a live boy." So, let's see Tom's in bed with what he thinks are two girls. He reaches down on one, becomes very confused.
(Quick flashback to the hotel bedroom. TOM HAVILAND kissing the woman in red. His hand moves on the woman's body. TOM HAVILAND looks up, confused. White flash to end of flashback. Resume to present.)
Grissom: Most guys would have just cleared the room and gargled with whiskey. But movie boy, who brags about doing his own stunts, couldn't take the thought of having a man in his bed so he freaked out.
(Quick Flashback to hotel bedroom. Sounds of a man throwing punches. TOM HAVILAND striking the woman in red on the bed, his chest spattered with blood. Flash to white as TOM HAVILAND doesn't stop and continues to throw punches in fast forward. White flash to end of flashback. Resume to present.)
(GRISSOM glances over at PHILLIP GERARD.)
Phillip Gerard: I'm just here to observe CSI's investigating techniques.
Grissom: Well, Nick is the Primary on this.
Phillip Gerard: You're not running evidence. Or have you changed your mind?
(GRISSOM doesn't respond.)
Phillip Gerard: By the way, tell your mother I say 'Hello' next time you talk. I was so impressed that night we all had dinner. The sign language ... how you interpreted for her. Fluid, didn't miss a beat.
(Somehow, this doesn't surprise GRISSOM; it only annoys him.)
Grissom: What'd you do, subpoena my doctor?
Phillip Gerard: Knowing your genetic predisposition for hearing loss?
Grissom: You've become a bottom feeder, Philip.
Phillip Gerard: Your work is dependent upon your five senses. The fact that you're losing one of yours wouldn't bode well for any evidence you introduced.
Grissom: You know, all those years I worked for you, you never got to know me at all, did you?
(GRISSOM takes a few steps away from PHILLIP GERARD. Camera cuts to NICK continuing to process the scene with another Forensic member.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. BRIARWAY GOLF COURSE - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(GRISSOM walks away from the scene. He crosses over a white wooden bridge. His dark glasses are off and he's absently wiping them. Normal sounds associated with the outdoors can be heard as well as birds chirping and GRISSOM walking across the wooden bridge.)
(Camera changes to slow motion and the sounds are no longer heard. As he walks, GRISSOM notices a group of golfers not too far away from him. The woman swings. He tilts his head as we and he can only hear muffled sounds as they come and go.)
(Normal camera speed resumes and we hear the woman laugh and the man comment.)
Man: (o.s.) That shot was great.
(GRISSOM puts his dark glasses on and walks out of frame.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - TEMPORARY EVIDENCE VAULT -- DAY]
(GRISSOM holds a digital camera to a wrist watch band. A close up of it's pattern appearing on the monitor in front of him. He visually compares the pattern to a photograph on the table of the unknown blood pattern found on bloodied bed sheet. It doesn't look like a match.)
(SARA appears. She folds her arms against her chest and leans against the doorway behind GRISSOM.)
Sara: I've looked at everything in that hotel room. Nothing matches that pattern.
(Without looking up at her, GRISSOM responds.)
Grissom: What about the booking photos of Tom? Were you able to make comparisons off those?
Sara: I told Brass that I needed them; he hasn't sent me anything yet.
(GRISSOM sighs and lifts his head up, his back still to SARA.)
Grissom: This case is a moving target.
(GRISSOM turns around.)
Grissom: I'll get ahold of Brass.
(GRISSOM notices that SARA is dressed for her court appearance.)
Grissom: You look nice.
Sara: Thanks.
(SARA pauses and doesn't smile at the compliment. Her thoughts turned to the upcoming proceedings.)
Sara: Wish me luck.
(SARA turns to leave.)
Grissom: Sara?
(She stops and turns back to look at GRISSOM.)
Grissom: Whatever happens in court, it's not because you're seeing this guy.
(SARA blinks. She doesn't respond.)
Grissom: You deserve to have a life.
(GRISSOM turns back to his work. Without a word, SARA leaves. Camera cuts back to GRISSOM as he watches SARA leave, her footsteps fading down the hallway. He turns back to look at the photograph of the unknown blood pattern.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY -- DAY]
(CATHERINE accompanies NICK down the hallway. She gives him last minute advice. NICK adjusts his tie and smiles.)
Catherine: Remember, if you get stuck just maintain the same posture. If there's any adjustments, you're seen as squirming. It's going to make you look shifty.
Nick: Thanks, Cath. You know, I've done this before.
Catherine: Well, I've done it longer.
Nick: Yeah.
(NICK continues down the hallway. CATHERINE turns to look into the locker room where WARRICK is going through the trash to look for his discarded shirt.)
Catherine: Hey, any luck?
Warrick: I've been through every dumpster on these premises.
(WARRICK takes off his latex glove and tosses it.)
Catherine: Better keep looking.
(WARRICK sighs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING -- DAY]
(The door to the courtroom opens and the camera moves inside from the back of the room in slow motion. The courtroom is full with observers. Several of them turn around to see who's entering the courtroom.)
Bailiff: (V.O.) In the cause now pending before this court, do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
(Cut to: Resume normal camera speed. NICK pushes the barrister door open and crosses toward the witness stand.)
(Cut to: NICK standing in the witness stand with his right hand raised.)
Nick: I do.
(NICK sits down.)
(Camera cuts to TOM HAVILAND, then to MARJORIE WESCOTT as she whispers something to PHILLIP GERARD. She absently points to NICK and continues to whisper to GERARD. NICK waits.)
(MARJORIE WESCOTT stands.)
Marjorie Wescott: Please state and spell your name for the record.
Nick: (almost inaudible) Nicholas Stokes. S-T-O-K-E-S.
Judge Peter Croft: (to the mike) Pull it closer, Mr. Stokes.
(NICK pulls the mike closer and adjusts it.)
Nick: Oh. Sorry. I'm used to the old ones.
(He clears his throat and continues.)
Nick: Nicholas Stokes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE COURTROOM - DAY]
(CATHERINE waits in the hallway outside the courtroom. NICK bursts out of the courtroom.)
Nick: (softly) Damn!
Catherine: What?
Nick: Damn, damn, damn. I blew it. I forgot to put case identifiers on my dice photos.
(Upset, NICK sits down on the bench outside the courtroom doors.)
Catherine: Date, time and file number?
Nick: Yeah.
(CATHERINE looks up and takes a deep breath. She doesn't say anything.)
Nick: Don't look at me that way, okay? I wrote it down on the evidence envelope. I had to move fast. The casino manager wanted us out of there.
Catherine: The dice places Tom at the murder. Victim's blood mixed with his saliva.
(NICK nods his head at his mistake. He puts his head down in his hand and covers his eyes. The poor guy is really not happy with this.)
(Quick flash back to the courtroom.)
Marjorie Wescott: How can we be confident in your collection if you can't be confident in your own documentation?
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING -- DAY]
(NICK looks down at a set of four to five photographs of the dice that were tested. Each dice shows the same five dots face up. NICK looks down at the photos. He glances up at MARJORIE WESCOTT. The camera adjusts to show PHILLIP GERARD sitting at the defense table watching NICK struggle.)
(NICK looks down at the photographs of the dice in front of him. He chooses the fourth photo from the right.)
Nick: This is it.
Marjorie Wescott: You're sure you want to go with that one?
(NICK hesitates and glances back down at the photos. He nods his head.)
Nick: This is the one.
(Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to NICK.)
Nick: I was sweating bullets looking at those photos.
Catherine: Did the judge exclude the dice?
Nick: No. No, just my credibility.
(NICK looks up at CATHERINE and nods his head. The courtroom doors open and the Bailiff exits. He looks around and calls out.)
Bailiff: Warrick Brown?
Nick: Yeah, he's, uh, he's in the men's room.
Catherine: We'll send him right in.
Bailiff: Two minutes grace, the court moves on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING -- DAY]
Marjorie Wescott: You're telling us the shirt just disappeared?
(WARRICK sits on the stand. The stenographer dictating the proceedings.)
Warrick: It would only prove that I got blood on my shirt from an accident victim. That blood never came in contact with the blood evidence that I was transporting.
Marjorie Wescott: But we can't verify that now, can we?
(WARRICK doesn't respond.)
Marjorie Wescott: Do you still have a gambling habit?
Warrick: I don't see what that has to do with this case.
Marjorie Wescott: It goes to the character of the witness, your honor.
Judge Peter Croft: (o.s.) I'll allow it.
(The camera cuts to PHILLIP GERARD as he watches WARRICK on the stand.)
Marjorie Wescott: For the record are you addicted to gambling?
(Camera holds on WARRICK.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE COURTROOM - DAY]
(NICK waits in the hallway outside the courtroom. WARRICK bursts out of the courtroom.)
Warrick: (softly) Damn! Why didn't I see that coming? Gambling?
Nick: Hey, we're all in Nevada. It's legal; don't worry about it.
Warrick: Legal doesn't matter in there. You know the judge is going to throw out our blood evidence, right?
Nick: Truth is, it is compromised, Warrick.
Warrick: The blood is fine. It's their methods that are dirty.
(Quick flashback to the courtroom. Camera close up of WARRICK.
Marjorie Wescott: (o.s.) For the record are you addicted to gambling?
(WARRICK takes a moment before answering.)
Warrick: I am.
(Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to WARRICK. He shakes his head.)
Warrick: It's a low blow. Low blow.
(WARRICK walks away, disgusted. Camera holds on NICK. NICK turns around to watch WARRICK walk away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(Camera close up of shuffling photographs. The first of a bare chest, the second, the back of a left hand. The next photo is the front palm of a right hand. The camera slowly rises to show GRISSOM perusing through the photos of TOM HAVILAND.)
Grissom: Your guys didn't get any extended body photos?
Brass: Chest, hands, arms right there.
Grissom: I need lower extremities for comparison.
Brass: Hey, Marjorie Wescott blew in here and shut us down. She said if we wanted full body shots we were going to have to get a court order. So the D.A.'S working on it.
Grissom: When, between testimony?
Brass: No kidding. Meanwhile, we're presenting half a case to a judge.
(Disgusted, GRISSOM sighs, puts the photos aside and walks away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING -- DAY]
(SARA is on the stand.)
Marjorie Wescott: Well, it certainly looks posed.
(SARA doesn't respond. She glances down at the photograph in front of her. It's the photograph of the bra.)
Marjorie Wescott: You date -- You and Hank. You share a subtle communication. Did he move the bra to where you might have wanted it?
(SARA responds confidently.)
Sara: I didn't want it anywhere. I collect evidence without emotion.
Marjorie Wescott: You do get emotionally involved, though with the men on your cases. Hank Peddigrew isn't the first time.
(Camera cuts to PHILLIP GERARD who watches SARA on the stand.)
Sara: Excuse me?
Marjorie Wescott: A murder investigation at the residence of one Charles Renteria*. Eyewitness stated he saw you and your supervisor Gil Grissom standing alone outside and ... you were touching him in a romantic gesture.
[*Note: This case mention is referencing "Scuba Doobie-Doo" (2X05) regarding Clifford Renteria.]
Sara: I brushed chalk from his face.
Marjorie Wescott: Is that what they're calling it now?
District Attorney: Objection, your honor.
Sara: (answers) Drywall dust. We were looking for a body.
Marjorie Wescott: It's a fair question, your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss, Gil Grissom, whether he returns her attentions or not?
(SARA doesn't respond. She glances at PHILLIP GERARD who returns the look.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING -- DAY]
(On the courtroom monitor, the image of a large footprint with orange identifying markers is on screen. The camera sweeps to the stand to show CATHERINE peering over to look at the courtroom monitor.)
Marjorie Wescott: (o.s.) You have a Bachelor of Science from West Las Vegas University, am I right?
Catherine: Night school, yes.
Marjorie Wescott: And prior to joining CSI, you worked as an exotic dancer?
Catherine: That's correct.
Marjorie Wescott: Took your clothes off for a living.
(CATHERINE doesn't waiver. She answers the comment confidently.)
Catherine: For a very good living.
Marjorie Wescott: No doubt, Ms. Willows. Now, you recently failed your yearly proficiency test, didn't you?
Catherine: Technically, yes, but it's on appeal. I'm confident that I will prevail.
Marjorie Wescott: Did you treat this footprint evidence the same way? There's the truth and then there's your interpretation?
Catherine: No.
Marjorie Wescott: But you're appealing your test.
(CATHERINE doesn't respond to the comment.)
Marjorie Wescott: Actions speak louder than words.
(CATHERINE slowly and casually turns to look at the JUDGE. She turns back.)
Marjorie Wescott: (o.s.) I have no further questions, your honor. We are through with this witness.
(CATHERINE isn't pleased by what she saw in the JUDGE'S look.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(CATHERINE walks determinedly down the hallway. She's unhappy with her day on the stand. She sees GRISSOM rapidly leafing through a stack of photographs. He glances up at CATHERINE then turns back to the photos.)
Catherine: Grissom ... they're beating our heads in. Judge is going to dismiss -- you can feel it.
Grissom: Don't get ahead of yourself.
Catherine: (frustrated) I'm not ahead of myself. I'm up there front and center taking hits along with the rest of CSI. You know, you've turned into a really lousy leader.
(GRISSOM'S head shoots up and he looks at CATHERINE as she continues on without missing a beat.)
Catherine: I need your help, and you're on the sidelines.
(GRISSOM doesn't respond. CATHERINE stops talking. She looks at GRISSOM for some response as he continues to look at her. When he finally does, he throws her a curve.)
Grissom: Would you know where I could get pictures of Tom Haviland? Full body shots. Like, uh ... an internet site ... or his fan club?
(As GRISSOM speaks, CATHERINE looks up at him. At first a little annoyed that he doesn't show concern over the case, then intrigued at the possibilities of the question. She glances down and notices the photographs in GRISSOM'S hands. Something's afoot. Camera holds on Catherine's look.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - DNA LAB -- DAY]
(GRISSOM, CATHERINE and GREG leaf through a table full of tabloid magazines. They are all looking for photographs of TOM HAVILAND.)
Greg: Ah, I hid all these when I heard Gerard would be snooping around.
(GRISSOM tosses a "The National Informer" magazine on the table and reaches for another issue of the same tabloid. Each magazine either has a picture of TOM HAVILAND or some mention of the movie star's name on its covers.)
Catherine: (reading) Tom Haviland ... "away from the set, between films and ... in paradise."
(CATHERINE puts the "National Informer" tabloid she was reading through down flat on the table for GRISSOM to examine. GRISSOM leans in and looks at the pictures.)
Grissom: Paparazzi; long lens.
(GRISSOM reaches for the magnifying glass and examines up close a particular photograph of TOM HAVILAND with a dark-haired woman on the beach. CATHERINE leans in. GRISSOM sees it and straightens. He's found what he's looking for. His mind rapidly making connections. CATHERINE looks up at GRISSOM with a glint of anticipation on her face.)
(GRISSOM turns to CATHERINE.)
Grissom: I'm going to go to court.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. JUDGE PETER CROFT'S COURTROOM - PRELIMINARY HEARING - DAY]
(On a large monitor set up in the courtroom, the image of the full bloodied bed sheet from the crime scene is up. The monitor is hooked up to a laptop in front of GRISSOM who is now on the stand.)
District Attorney: The defendant's statement is that when he left the room the victims were both alive and well. Now, does that statement support your new evidence?
Grissom: No, it does not.
(A small black frame appears around a single blood pattern on the sheet. The black framed blood pattern is enlarged full screen.)
Grissom: This unique blood pattern which I'm highlighting and resizing for the court's clarification, was made by the defendant during the attack.
(Quick flashback to TOM HAVILAND striking KIM HSU. She falls to the sheet. TOM HAVILAND continues to hit the woman. Camera view under the bed sheet as something stamps the blood pattern on the sheet from above. Flash to white. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
District Attorney: Okay, thank you, Dr. Grissom. Nothing further, your honor.
(The District Attorney sits down.)
(PHILLIP GERARD leans toward MARJORIE WESCOTT and whispers something into her ear. From the stand, GRISSOM takes note of this.)
Phillip Gerard: (whispers) Speak in a very soft voice, okay?
(PHILLIP GERARD sits back in his seat and MARJORIE WESCOTT nods slightly. She looks at GRISSOM and stands. The camera passes PHILLIP GERARD as he looks over at GRISSOM.)
(MARJORIE WESCOTT looks at GRISSOM and nods as she asks her first question.)
Marjorie Wescott: (low, almost inaudible): Unique pattern. By what standard are you basing this "match"?
(As soon as she opens her mouth to speak, something is terribly wrong. We can't hear her. The camera cuts to GRISSOM whom we realize definitely cannot and did not hear her question.)
(GRISSOM remains silent. The camera cuts to PHILLIP GERARD who watches GRISSOM closely.)
(MARJORIE WESCOTT nods that she's finished asking her question and glances at JUDGE PETER CROFT.)
Judge Peter Croft: Dr. Grissom, please answer the question.
(GRISSOM can't answer the question, because he hasn't heard the question. The camera cuts to the CSI Team watching and waiting for his response.)
Grissom: Could she repeat the question, your honor?
(The camera once again cuts to PHILLIP GERARD who continues to look unsurprisingly at GRISSOM.)
Judge Peter Croft: Ms. Wescott?
(MARJORIE WESCOTT repeats the question once more. Again, we can barely hear her. We know that GRISSOM doesn't hear her at all.)
Marjorie Wescott: (almost inaudible) By what standard are you basing this "match"?
(GRISSOM watches closely. He almost has it and boldly asks her again to repeat the question.)
Grissom: One more time, please.
(Camera cuts to the members of CSI sitting in the audience. First to SARA as a look of concern crosses her face. CATHERINE doesn't take her eyes off of GRISSOM.)
Marjorie Wescott: (Barely audible) By what standard are you basing this "match"?
(Extreme camera close up of MARJORIE WESCOTT'S lips as she speaks. Now, though we can just barely make out the words as she says them, we definitely know what she's asking. GRISSOM has the question and answers it confidently.)
Grissom: On visual comparison.
(Camera immediately cuts to PHILLIP GERARD.)
Grissom: The Accused has a distinct waffle-like scar characterized by diamond-shaped patterns on his left knee.
(On the courtroom monitor, the photograph from "The National Informer" appears on screen. TOM HAVILAND and an unknown dark-haired woman are sitting on the beach. TOM HAVILAND'S knee is bent exposing an injury. The monitor does a close up on TOM HAVILAND'S scar.)
Marjorie Wescott: So, Tom has a scar on his leg. Whoop-de-do. There's no forensic database for scars. It's not a discipline.
Grissom: Yes, but it's unique to The Accused. He says he got it in a stunt on his last film.
(GRISSOM picks up TOM HAVILAND'S statement from the file in front of him.)
Grissom: According to Mr. Haviland in his statement and I quote, "It happened when I was rappelling down the Alps firing an AK-47 with my free hand."
(A soft rumble of laughter ripples through the courtroom's audience. NICK and CATHERINE both smile and laugh softly.)
Grissom: But he actually got it tripping on his way into the wardrobe trailer.
Marjorie Wescott: Objection. There's no question to the witness here, your honor.
Grissom: Your honor, it's a preliminary hearing. May I?
Judge Peter Croft: The witness may proceed.
(MARJORIE WESCOTT sighs.)
Grissom: The production report by the Unit Production Manager on the film that day and I quote, "Tom Haviland slipped on wardrobe trailer number thirty-eight, step number two. He sustained cuts to his knee and was bandaged by the company medic. The production was shut down for half a day." The company medic documented it with Polaroid photos and I have managed to acquire step number two ... from trailer thirty-eight.
(GRISSOM clicks on the laptop keyboard.)
Grissom: I think these graphics will help explain my findings.
(On the courtroom monitor, an extreme close up of the trailer step pattern appears on screen.)
Grissom: The Step.
(The full screen image of the trailer step reduces to half-size on the left of the screen with the image of the scar pattern of TOM HAVILAND'S knee appearing on the right half of the monitor.)
Grissom: The Scar.
(The image of the scar pattern is watermarked and layered over the image of the trailer step on the right. Digital identifiers appear on screen and mark the matching points on both scar and trailer step. It's a perfect match.)
Grissom: The Sheet.
(The blood pattern found on the bloodied bed sheet appears on the right half of the screen. The image of the blood pattern is watermarked and superimposed over the pre-existing image of the trailer step and scar pattern. Digital identifiers appear on screen and mark additional matching points on the cumulative image. There's no denying the evidence. From trailer step to The Accused's scar to the bloodied sheet. It's a perfect match.)
(PHILLIP GERARD looks at the evidence on the monitor. He blinks and raises his head slightly. JUDGE PETER CROFT glances from the monitor to the defense. MARJORIE WESCOTT turns away from the monitor and looks back at the defense table. TOM HAVILAND swallows. Camera cuts to NICK who looks very pleased with the evidence.)
Marjorie Wescott: No further questions, your honor.
Judge Peter Croft: You may be excused, Dr. Grissom.
(GRISSOM closes the file folder in front of him and stands. He picks up the folder and leaves the stand. The camera follows him as he makes his way through the courtroom. In the background, court proceeds.)
Judge Peter Croft: (o.s.) I'm binding this case over for trial sixty days from today.
Marjorie Wescott: (o.s.) We'd like a continuance, your honor.
Judge Peter Croft: (o.s.) I'll take it under submission.
(As GRISSOM passes the defense table, PHILLIP GERARD stops him.)
Phillip Gerard: Gil ... good work.
Grissom: My Team did it, Philip. I got good CSI's.
(As he smiles and speaks, GRISSOM signs the following to PHILLIP GERARD.)
Grissom: Oh, and, uh, my mother says hello.
(Without a backward glance to his former mentor, GRISSOM looks forward at and proceeds toward his CSI Team sitting in their seats waiting for him. They all stand and quietly slip into the aisle behind him as he walks past them. All of them leaving the courtroom together. In the background, the proceedings continue.)
Judge Peter Croft: (o.s.) Bailiff?
Marjorie Wescott: (o.s.) I'd like to make a motion for a bail hearing, your honor.
Judge Peter Croft: (o.s.) It's a double murder, Counselor. Request for bail is denied.
(GRISSOM and the CSI Team pause at the doorway. They turn around to look back at the courtroom just in time to hear the JUDGE and to see the Bailiff preparing to handcuff The Accused.)
Judge Peter Croft: The Accused is remanded into custody of county jail.
(The gavel sounds the JUDGE'S decision with finality. The CSI Team smiles and one after another they proudly exit the courtroom together. With a smile on his face, GRISSOM follows them out.)
|
Plan: A: Grissom; Q: What is the name of the CSI team leader? A: a popular actor; Q: What is the actor's profession? A: one; Q: How many women are involved in the crime? A: his hotel suite; Q: Where was the woman found dead? A: not only the media spotlight; Q: What are the CSIs performing under? A: Grissom's mentor; Q: Who is Dr. Philip Gerard to Grissom? A: his knowledge; Q: What does Dr. Gerard use to discredit Grissom and the other CSIs? Summary: Grissom and his team investigate a crime involving a popular actor; one woman is dead in his hotel suite and another is missing. They must perform under not only the media spotlight, but also under the scrutiny of Grissom's mentor, Dr. Philip Gerard, who uses his knowledge of Grissom and the other CSIs to discredit their evidence in his role as hired expert for the defense.
|
(Kieran's holding a mass.)
Kieran: Thank you all for coming. It means more than I can tell you. We gather today for the first public service of our newly reopened church. St. Anne's can finally once again be the heart of our community, where we can congregate as a people united. Here, this hour, we come together to praise God and give thanks. The events that took place at our church were tragic.
(Klaus and Marcel, sitting next to each other, start to talk, while Kieran continues speaking in the background. Marcel sees someone he recognizes across the church, but can't get a proper look at her.)
Klaus: Problem?
Marcel: No.
Klaus: Then pay attention. We're meant to seem like devoted parisioners.
Kieran: ...and it is that hope in our hearts, and with the help of many benefactors, that allows us to be here today. So we gather with renewed spririt, made stronger, committed to the ideals of peace and love. Amen.
(While Kieran's speaking, Bastianna enters the church.)
People: Amen.
Cemetery
(In the cemetery Sabine/Celeste guides some tourists.)
Celeste: Each tomb is well cared for. Families honor their dead with display of affection and respect.
(Trapped inside her tomb, Monique calls out, but the group outside doesn't hear her.)
Monique: Is someone there?
Celeste: This place belongs to the Deveraux family, known throughout the Quarter for their strong connection to witchcraft.
Monique: Please help me!
Celeste: And if you look close, these fresh bricks tell us someone in the family has recently fallen.
(Monique screams. The tourists look disturbed by the noise. In the next moment, Monique bursts out of the wall of bricks and tumbles out of the tomb. The tourists are frightened, though some of them take photographs.)
Celeste: Hello, Monique. Welcome back to the land of the living.
OPENING CREDITS
(The tourists are taking pictures of Monique's empty grave. Sophie enters the cemetery confused. When she sees what happened, she runs into a mausoleum, where Celeste and Monique are.)
Sophie: What is it? What's going on?
Celeste: It's a miracle.
Sophie: Monique? You're alive!
(They embrace)
St. Annes Church
(After the mass, the people leave the church. Kieran stands in the front of it. Marcel and Klaus join him.)
Klaus: Lovely sermon this morning, Father. Quite inspirational.
Kieran: I wasn't expecting you to join us.
Klaus: Oh, we were hoping for some word from your human sources on the recent Haitian invasion.
Kieran: My guys have their ears on the ground and no one has seen or heard any sign of whatever his name is.
Marcel: He is called Papa Tunde. And right now he's wandering in the Quarter with the power he absorbed from every soul I had buried in the Garden, so you might wanna put your ear a little closer to the ground.
Kieran: Or I could steer clear of whatever war is brewing between your kind and his, before I find myself-
(Cami appears and starts to shake Kieran's hand.)
Cami: I wanted to congratulate you on getting the church up running. I can see this is a bad time. Nice to see you, Marcel.
(She leaves.)
Kieran: Cami!
Klaus: Well, don't look at me. I tried to send her away.
(Klaus' phone rings.)
Klaus: Yes, Diego, what do you have for me?
Diego: Uh, we got a special delivery.
Klaus: Would you care to elaborate?
(Papa Tunde is seen, lying in the middle of a white, magical circle with blood all over his suit.)
Diego: Either our witch problems are over, or they're just get started.
(Klaus hangs up.)
Klaus: Marcel.
(They leave.)
Kieran (to the church visitors): God be with you. Thank you. God be with you. God be with you.
(Bastianna appears.)
Bastianna: Oh, I doubt that, but I do appreciate the thought.
Kieran: Bastianna!
(She hexes him.)
Bastianna: Toursion fou, mort de l'espirit! Give your nephew Sean my regards when you see him in hell.
Courtyard
(Elijah crouches near Papa Tunde's corpse. Klaus and Marcel are standing beside him.)
Klaus: Can I get you anything, brother? A magnifying glass, a pipe perhaps?
Elijah: You have a theory you'd like to share with us, Niklaus?
Marcel: Back in the day, the witches wanted to send a threat, they just killed a chicken and leave it on your doorstep.
Elijah: It's rather a large and ominous chicken, wouldn't you say?
Klaus: Papa Tunde defeated Rebekah with ease, almost got the two of us as well. If he was supposed to be the prize fighter, why leave him for dead in our front yard?
(Rebekah shows up.)
Rebekah: Well, don't you look cheery. Listen to this: A girl literally exploded from a grave today as Sabine was giving a tour of the city of the dead. It was Monique Deveraux.
Klaus: What?
Rebekah: The tourists thought it was part of the show, but the witches are celebrating like it's some kind of bloody miracle.
Marcel: Maybe it is. They think that all hope is lost, but now suddenly a Harvest girl is resurrected. This is how we're gonna get Davina back - kill the witch who took her place.
(Hayley shows up.)
Hayley: I have a theory about who one of them could be. Celeste. Mean, it's got to be. Davina was trying to tell us, she was drawing pictures of Celeste. She was warning us that a great evil is coming.
Klaus: First, Papa Tunde returns to settle old scores, now your murdered lover is back. This isn't witches attacking vampires. They're declaring war on us.
Inside
(Rebekah and Elijah are talking.)
Rebekah: It's not too early for scotch, is it, with all the witchy shenanigans and subterfuge afoot?
Elijah: It is entirely too early if one intends to drive, yes.
Rebekah: Funny, I don't have any plans to go anywhere.
Elijah: She's not safe here. You have to take Hayley to the plantation house until this is over.
Rebekah: Are you worried about Hayley or whether or not you can trust me?
Elijah: It's precisely because I trust you that I'm asking you to do this.
Rebekah: Here's a novel idea: Why don't you let Hayley decide for herself? Why are you dictating her fate?
Elijah: You know why.
Rebekah: Then perhaps you should take her yourself.
Elijah: Well, then that would make me the very hypocrite you've accused me of being. Rebekah, I cannot legislate my feelings. My actions, however... So, would you kindly do this for me?
Rebekah: You know the mama wolf loves to be told what to do. She's not gonna like it. But I will do it for you, if only to end this silly quarrel between the two of us.
(Rebekah leaves the room. Marcel grabs her.)
Rebekah: What the hell do you think you are doing?
Marcel: Listen, everybody's running off looking for resurrected witches. Meanwhile, I think I saw one at the church: Genevieve.
Rebekah: What?
Marcel: I can't be sure. I only caught her out of the corner of my eye. Been with Klaus since. But it looked like her. And you and I both know that she would have a reason to wanna be back. A lot of unfinished business, a lot of secrets that you and I don't want getting out.
Rebekah: I have to take Hayley to the plantation. You need to find Genevieve and end this. End it like we did the last time.
(Marcel nods, then leaves.)
Rousseau's (Genevieve sits at the bar at Rousseau's.) Genevieve: Tea, please.
(Kieran enters. Cami sees him while pouring the tea.)
Cami: I'm busy.
Kieran: Cami, just hear me out.
Cami: You know, I came to your reopening because I wanted to try and make amends. Then I see you talking with Klaus, out in the open, like it's business as usual in the Quarter.
Kieran: It is business as usual. For the past three centuries, the O'Connells have always tried to keep the peace.
Cami: Save me the family history. It's all lies on top of lies.
Kieran: Cami, pour me a drink. I have to tell you something.
(Cami hands him a drink. He takes it. His hands are trembling.)
Cami: Uncle Kieran, what's wrong?
Kieran: I'm in trouble. What happened to your brother Sean is about to start happening to me.
Cami: What?
Kieran: I've... I've been hexed. And I don't know how long I have.
Cami: Wait. I know some people. There has to be some sort of... I don't know, antidote or...
Kieran: Cami, I need you to promise me one thing. When it gets bad, I need you to be as far away from me as possible.
Cami: No. No! There has to be some sort of way.
Genevieve: Of course there is. If you wanna save your uncle's life, all you have to do is take this-(she shows Cami Papa Tunde's blade)-and make sure it ends up in Klaus Mikaelson's heart.
Plantation House
(Rebekah and Hayley leave the car.)
Rebekah: I thought I was gonna have to drag you to the plantation kicking and screaming.
Hayley: Yeah, well we all just wanna protect me and the baby, right?
Rebekah: Hey, I'm on your side, remember? So what gives?
Hayley: Tonight's a full moon, Rebekah.
Rebekah: So what? You're preggers, you can't turn.
Hayley: Yes, but I wanted to invite a few people over.
Rebekah: Of course. Every red-blooded American werewolf will be a bundle of fur and sharp teeth tonight, whilst your cursed crescent clan will be-
Hayley: Human, but only for a few hours and won't be again until the next full moon, so... I asked Josh to get a message out to Eve in the bayou.
Rebkah: Josh isn't dead yet? Well good on him. I love a nice survival story.
(A man leaves the Mikaelson Mansion with a moving dolly.)
Rebekah: ( She looks surprised) Who the bloody hell is that?
Hayley: Kegs out back, right? Ahem.
Man: Yup.
Rebekah: Right. It appears you weren't gonna wait for me to grant you permission to throw a kegger.
Hayley: Listen, you all want me safe, fine. I'll do as I'm told. I'll play damsel in the glass tower. But tonight's the one night a month that I can meet my family. Now you could rat me out, send me to my room, or you could help me to throw one hell of a party.
The French Quarter
(Celeste/Sabine walks down a street, followed by Elijah. She turns around to him.)
Celeste: Elijah. To what do I owe the pleasure?
Elijah: My family needs an ally among the witches, and you've helped us in the past. Perhaps together we can avoid an unnecessary conflict.
Celeste: They may be willing to make a deal, if it were with the noble Elijah. But there will never be any peace at long as it involves Klaus.
Elijah: Is that what's always is about? You want my brother out of town?
Celeste: I'm just telling you how they feel. My people are scared, they're desperate, but they're not dumb. You have a niece on the way. It stands to reason you'd be willing to discuss how to run him out of the city.
Elijah: Let's walk together. You can take me on one of your famous tours.
Rousseau's
(Sophie and Monique are in the backroom.)
Sophie: You should eat, after everything you've been through.
Monique: I was dead.
Sophie: But you're here now.
Monique: Aunt Sophie, what happened to Mom?
Sophie: Your mother loved you so much. She had faith that she could use magic to complete the Harvest and get you back. In the end, she sacrificed herself for the cause, for the witches, for you.
Monique: And do you have her faith?
Sophei: I lost my faith. Then I realized that if I didn't believe, I would be letting you down. I tried to get it back. I tried.
(Marcel appears.)
Marcel: Monique Deveraux. Everyone in the Quarter's been talking about you.
Sophie: Classy. You kill her mother and now you've come to threaten her?
Marcel: I'm not here to threaten anyone.
Monique: What do you want, Marcel?
Marcel: There were three more girls sacrificed during the Harvest. I want to bring them back.
Sophie: Who are you kidding? You don't care about those girls. You just want Davina back, so you can use her power again.
Marcel: I just want her alive.
Monique: He's telling the truth.
Sophie: How do you know that?
Monique: I can feel it. He's loyal to her. He's here to help.
St. Anne's Church
(Cami is sitting in the church, holding Papa Tunde's blade in her hand. Klaus enters. Cami quickly hides the blade.)
Klaus: I got your message. Where's Kieran now?
(Klaus takes a seat next to Cami.)
Cami: In the attic. Resting, praying. He's gonna go crazy and die, isn't he? Just like Sean. And we'll still be in this stupid fight because he lied to me about the witches. And vampires. And you.
Klaus: Camille. I can see why you hate me. Truth be told, I have done some dreadful things. But the lies your uncle told were meant to protect you. He is a good man with a loyal heart. And he is your family. As for these witches, their attack on Kieran should be proof enough they are the enemy. In that we are united.
(Klaus stands up. Cami follows him, holding the blade in her hand.)
Cami: Klaus.
(He turns around and looks at the blade, then at Cami, then at the blade again. Cami hands it to him.)
Klaus: This is Papa Tunde's blade.
Cami: A witch gave it to me. Said it would cause untold pain and torment, even to an Original. She said if I stuck it in your heart, she'd heal Kieran.
Klaus: And yet you chose to reject their offer.
Cami: Maybe if I were more like you, I could do it, but I'm not-
Klaus: A monster?
Cami: I'm not stupid. If there's a war going on, I wanna be on the winning side.
Klaus: Let's see what we can do about saving your uncle, shall we?
Bayou
(Hayley hangs up some clothes for the werewolves. A golden eyed wolf appears and looks at Hayley.)
Hayley: Hello again. I'm looking forward to meeting you soon.
St. Anne's Church
(Klaus bites his own hand and lets the blood drip into a goblet.)
Kieran: You've gotta be kidding me.
Klaus: A vampire is trying to reverse a witch's hex placed on you, and it's the cup you find sacrilegious.
(Kieran cuts his hand.)
Cami: Are you sure this is going to work?
Klaus: Not remotely. But I can't attempt to use my compulsion to counter Bastianna's curse if the good Father has vervain in his system. Thus, we bleed him out. I never said this would be pleasent.
Cami: Just do what you have to do.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Plantation
(The werewolves, transformed into humans, put on the clothes from the clothesline, while Rebekah is cooking something in the kitchen. She leaves a voicemail on her cell.)
Rebekah: So help me God, Marcel, if you don't call me back with an update, I will kill you myself.
(One of the werewolves shows up in the plantation house, shirtless.)
Rebekah: Oh. I beg your pardon. I was expecting someone... furrier.
Oliver: You're one of them, aren't you? An Original?
Rebekah: Yes. You might want to say that with some more respect. I suppose you'll be wanting Hayley.
Oliver: Or I could just talk to you. I'm Oliver. I didn't catch your name.
Rebekah: I'm Rebekah. Hayley, the party's here!
The Abattoir
(Sophie, Monique and Marcel are in the courtyard. Sophie tries a locator spell.)
Marcel: You got enough power left to find these witches?
Sophie: I know the Harvest was an epic fail, but I can still do a locator spell. Before I do that, we need to make a deal.
Marcel: What deal?
Sophie: If I betray these witches, they're gonna come looking for me. And if I'm caught, I'm dead.
Marcel: I said I'd protect you.
Sophie: If you could do that, you wouldn't need my help in first place. The Quarter isn't safe. Vampires on one side, witches on the other. No way am I letting Monique get in the middle of that. In order to get her out, I'm gonna need money. Do we have a deal?
Marcel: Find the witches. I'll give you anything you could ever need.
Plantation
(The garden is lit by hundreds of candles and lights, music is playing, werewolves are all around. Oliver starts dancing with Rebekah.)
Oliver: Come on, you can do better than that!
Rebekah: Sorry, I've got a burdened brain tonight.
Oliver: No, no, no, no, no, no. Tonight is not the night for burdens. It's to celebrate. It's to enjoy life for the few hours that we get to live it. It's to hug our friends, our family and to dance our asses off.
(Hayley walks inside the house. She starts tidying. One of the werewolves enters the room.)
Jackson: I seriously doubt you invited us here to wait on us. You're Hayley. I'm Jackson. It's nice to see you again.
Hayley: You're the wolf who's been watching me.
Jackson: I gotta keep my eye on you. Precious cargo and all.
Hayley: Right. Gotta protect the miracle baby.
Jackson: No, that's not what I meant. I don't care about the baby. Sorry, that came out wrong. I mean, of course I care. You're a Labonair. A baby, it's a big deal. But personally, my interest is in you.
Hayley: You don't even know me.
Jackson: Our parents knew each other. They were of the same people but not the same bloodline. Now, you know how pack hierarchy works, right? Everybody has their part to play, and... we had our part too.
Hayley: What part was that?
Jackson: You were supposed to be my wife.
In the French Quarter
(Celeste/Sabine and Elijah are walking through the streets.)
Celeste: So this next part of town is one of the few areas where any of the original French architecture remains. The most of the buildings were destroyed in the seventeen hundreds when the city burned for the first time. Am I putting you to sleep?
Elijah: As surprising as you might find this, it's not every day that someone asks you to betray your own brother... Celeste.
Celeste: How did you know?
Elijah: As Davina was drawing your likeness, I dared to imagine that your presence was near. And when Sophie discovered that there was no magic in your remains, I wondered - could you have possibly cheated death by using your power to place your essence into the body of another? And if so, then who? And then I recalled the lovely Sabine.
FLASHBACK
Sabine/Celeste: Are you continue following me, Eljiah, or do you wanna talk?
Elijah: You know who I am.
Sabine/Celeste: Original vampire, always wears a suit.
PRESENT
Elijah: Your visions of my brother's child precipitated the death of the last elder within your coven...
FLASHBACK
Agnes: Tell them what you saw.
Celeste: (chanting)
(Elijah kills Agnes)
PRESENT
Elijah: Ensuring that the Harvest ritual could not be completed - unless you were to control it. You have been playing a very long game indeed. But to what end?
(Celeste steps closer and kisses Elijah.)
Celeste: Oh, Elijah, my lost love... After all this time, don't you understand? I died because of Klaus. And even after all his vindictive lies about witches led to my death, you stood by him. All because of your vow - "Always and forever."
(Elijah starts feeling dizzy.)
Elijah: What have you done to me?
Celeste: Oh, it's a simple enchantment. You needn't worry. I'm not here to kill you, Elijah, I'm here to teach you the error of your ways. "Always and forever" was the greatest mistake of your life.
(Elijah falls to the ground.)
St. Anne's Church
(Klaus hands Kieran the goblet.)
Klaus: Drink up. It will heal your wound.
(Kieran drinks Klaus' blood.)
Klaus: I think you've suffered enough. (compels him) You will overcome what the witches did to you. You will resist the dark urges of their hex.
Cami: Did it work?
Kieran: How do I know if it worked? All I know is that the vervain is out and I'm at the mercy of this murderous b*st*rd. I bet you find that really funny, don't you, Cami, you little- (He looks shocked as he realizes what he said.) I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that.
Klaus: Well, I guess that's our answer.
Cami: Wait, Klaus! Where are you going? What are we going to do?
Klaus: I'm gonna find the witch who did this, and then I'm gonna do what I do best.
The Abattoir
(Sophie still tries the locator spell.)
Sophie: I'm weaker than I thought.
Marcel: You want the deal, Soph, you gotta hold up your end. I'm on a clock.
Sophie: Okay. It's working.
Marcel: That's one. I need all three.
Sophie: I'm giving you whatever I can pick up.
Marcel: Keep trying.
Klaus: Or don't. Who needs a locator spell when I have all the leverage I need right here?
(Klaus takes Monique and disappears.)
Sophie: No! Monique!
In the French Quarter
(Elijah is crouching on the ground, breathing heavily.)
Elijah: You poisoned me with a kiss. At least you haven't lost your sense of irony.
Celeste: We may have time for more. But first I'm going to cure you of your greatest flaw - this absurd devotion to your lunatic family.
Elijah: Your anger is with me. Now, if you have come here seeking revenge-
Celeste: Oh, I'll have my revenge. Starting with Klaus. He is gonna know pain and torment like he's never felt before. Unless you choose to save him, of course. But then that leaves Rebekah, your tragic sister. She's about to find herself in quite the predicament. You could save her. But then that leaves Hayley in jeopardy.
Elijah: No. No, no...
Celeste: Poor girl. She has no idea how dangerous it is to be loved by you. Oh well. With your body weakened by my spell, you won't be able to save them all. You'll recover with just enough time to choose one. Who will it be? I can't wait to find out.
French Quarter
(Klaus walks through the streets with Monique Deveraux in tow.)
Klaus: Witches of the French Quarter! I have with me Monique Deveraux. What a shame it would be were I forced to sent her back to the death she's just escaped! Should you wish to prevent this, bring me the witch Bastianna!
Marcel: The hell you think you're doing?
Klaus: I'm opening negotiations.
Marcel: You know my rules. We do not hurt kids.
Klaus: Spare me the hypocrisy of your moral code. It didn't stop you from killing Monique's mother. Bastianna! I know you're close. The stench of witches hangs in the air. Mark my words! I will end this girl with the very blade you meant for me.
Marcel: I'm not saying it again. We do not kill kids.
(Klaus hold the blade near Moniques throat. Marcel vampire speeds up to him. They start to fight. Within the fight, Klaus loses the blade. Klaus breaks Marcel's neck.)
Klaus: I decide who lives and dies here, Marcellus.
(Suddenly Sophie Deveraux appears with the blade in her hand. She sticks it into Klaus' chest, where it immediately starts to slide towards his heart. Klaus starts screaming in pain. Bastianna also shows up.)
Bastianna: I'll take it from here.
Plantation
(Jackson is sitting at the piano, playing quietly. Hayley is standing near him.)
Jackson: I know it's a lot to take in.
Hayley: You think? I just wanted to meet my family. I never imagined I'd meet my husband from some weird-ass arranged marriage.
Jackson: I guess you don't know about any of this because there was never anyone around to teach you. The Crescents aren't just any pack of wolves. The bloodline goes back to the very beginning. Two families - yours and mine. I guess that makes us kind of a royalty.
Hayley: This is a joke, right? I mean, if you're royalty, where's the throne?
Jackson: New Orleans used to be our town, and we lost it all because of some infighting. The vampires came after us, and if our families were united we could've taken them. So our parents decided to bring the two lines back together. And you and I were betrothed.
Hayley: I'm sorry. This is ridiculous.
Jackson: Look, obviously things didn't work out the way anyone thought they would. Our pack made a huge misstep with the vampires when we refused to back down, and Marcel had us cursed by a witch. You are the last one of your bloodline, Andrea. Or Hayley, whatever you call yourself. These people will follow you. You can help them - you and what you represent.
Hayley: And what is that exactly?
Jackson: A time when things were different. When our people fought back. And after everything you went through to find us... You're the one who's gonna break our curse.
Hayley: What are you talking about?
Jackson: Your witch friend. She told Eve she was coming here tonight to set us free.
Hayley: Wait, what witch friend?
Somewhere in the woods
(Rebekah and Oliver are kissing.)
Oliver: I'm sorry. I really like you but this is the deal we made.
Rebekah: What deal? With whom?
(Some wolves appear, growling and baring their teeth.)
Cemetery/ French Quarter/ Plantation house
CEMETERY
(Bastianna, Celeste and Genevieve are at the Cemetery, chanting a spell.)
FRENCH QUARTER
(Elijah's lying on the ground. His phone starts buzzing. He awakens, still breathing heavily.)
Elijah: Hayley.
Hayley: Elijah, something's going on with the witches.
Elijah: Listen to me. You were right. Celeste is back. Niklaus, Rebekah - you're all in danger.
(At the plantation house, the door claps shut by a gust of wind.)
Jackson: What's going on?
Hayley: It's a trap. I didn't make a deal with any witch.
Jackson: What?
Elijah: Hayley, you have to find Rebekah. You stay with her until I get there.
(The house is catching fire.)
Hayley: Elijah, it's a spell. They're trapping us inside.
CEMETERY
(The three witches continue chanting. At the plantation, flames erupt all around the house as the doors and windows shut.)
Celeste: You know what to do.
(Bastianna and Genevieve leave.)
PLANTATION HOUSE
Hayley: We have to get out of here.
(Jackson tries to break through the window with the piano stool, which breaks while the window remains intact. Flames erupt inside the house, torching the curtains and the carpet. Jackson pours water from a vase of flowers onto a towel, which he hands to Hayley.)
Jackson: Here. Breathe through this.
(Hayley coughs. The fire gains size. Suddenly a window shatters. It's Elijah, fighting his way through the fire. He lifts Hayley and brings her outside.)
Elijah: Where's Rebekah?
Hayley: I don't know. She went off with one of them. Elijah, my friend is still in there.
(Jackson falls to the floor, coughing as the fire rages on. Elijah rushes back into the house to save Jackson.)
Elijah: On your feet.
In the woods
(Rebekah's lying on the ground with numerous wolf bites all over her body. Dead wolves are lying around. Someone steps closer - it's Genevieve.)
Rebekah: Help me.
Genevieve: It's been such a long time, Rebekah. I'm going to enjoy this. (Later, Rebekah is gone and Elijah takes a look at the dead wolves. He finds a black jacket which he picks up. Celeste appears, followed by the other two witches.)
Celeste: Missing something? You won't hurt me. I'm the only one alive who can break the curse on Hayley's family. And Genevieve knows where your sister is. Bastianna has Klaus, tucked away some place safe. He's suffering horribly, I might add. And all because you chose to save the little wolf instead of your own blood.
(When Elijah walks towards her purposefully, she uses magic to bring him to his knees, screaming.)
Celeste: What a horrific ending to your pathetic, diseased family. I guess "always" isn't forever, after all.
Plantation House
(Hayley and Jackson are standing in front of the burning house.)
Jackson: I have to go. The moon.
Hayley: Listen, Jackson. I wanna thank you for protecting me. Not just tonight.
Jackson: I have been dreaming about this since I was a kid. I never thought it would go like this.
Hayley: Hey. I won't stop until I'll find a way to break this curse. I promise.
(Jackson leaves.)
Alley outside of St. Anne's
(Cami and Kieran leave a building. Cami is calling Klaus.)
Cami: Come on, come on, come on. Klaus, where are you?
(Bastianna is standing near them.)
Bastianna: Mr. Mikaelson is currently indisposed.
Cami: What happened? What did you do?
Bastianna: I did nothing. Someone completed your task for you.
Cami: If you got what you wanted, then my uncle-
Bastianna: Will die soon and in great anguish. You see, dear, you failed to hold up your end of our bargain. You chose instead to side with evil as your uncle has done many times before you. But take heart. His punishment will atone for his attempts to prevent the Harvest. His suffering will purify him. You'd do well to heed his lesson, girl. To oppose us is to oppose the natural order. By choice or by force, the witches of the French Quarter will rise again.
The Abattoir
(Marcel is surrounded by some of his guys in the courtyard.)
Diego: We've looked everywhere for him. Tore apart the cauldron, the city of the dead. Wherever they got him, he ain't in the French Quarter.
(Elijah charges toward them.)
Elijah: MARCEL! Where is my brother?
Marcel: I got guys out looking for him right now.
(Elijah starts throwing vampires against the walls.)
Hayley: Elijah!
Marcel: Klaus threw one of his classic temper tantrums, snapped my neck, tried to take on a coven of witches by himself. He got dropped. I don't know where he is or how to find him.
Elijah: They also have Rebekah. Every one of you will help me to find them. I'm gonna kill them all.
Somewhere in the French Quarter
(Sophie tries to persuade Monique to leave New Orleans.)
Sophie: Come on. We have to go.
Monique: I don't wanna go.
Sophie: Monique, this isn't a debate. I just stabbed an Original. He's gonna kill me as soon as he's recovered. Look, I'm sorry for everything. I should have come and got you before that stupid Harvest. But you can still have a normal life. One without all this crazy witch nonsense.
Monique: But I am a witch. And I don't want to go.
(Monique uses magic to burst blood vessels in Sophie's brain.)
Sophie: Monique?
Monique: The ancestors said you didn't have enough faith. I was hoping they were wrong. I should've known better.
(Sophie's nose starts bleeding.)
Sophie: Monique.
Monique: You tried to stop the Harvest.
Sophie: Please don't do this.
Monique: Now you wanna run when we need to stay and fight.
Sophie: Please, I'm begging you. Don't, don't-
Monique: The four of us, when we return... We'll have enough power to rid this city of vampires, and we'll kill anyone who doesn't keep the faith.
(Sophie's eyes start bleeding. She starts coughing.)
Sophie: Monique... please...
Monique: You should have believed.
Sophie: Stop... please...
(Sophie falls to the ground. Monique walks toward Celeste, Genevieve and Bastianna, and joins them to walk down the street. Sophie lies in the street, apparently dead.)
|
Plan: A: St. Anne's Church; Q: What church is re-opening? A: a great deal; Q: Father Kieran finds himself in what kind of trouble? A: a run-in; Q: What does Father Kieran have with a witch? A: a discovery; Q: What is Sophie shocked to find at the cemetery? A: things; Q: What may not be as they seem? A: the full moon; Q: What is looming? A: Hayley; Q: Who tells Rebekah about her plan to throw a party for her werewolf clan? A: Hayley lets Rebekah; Q: Who does Hayley let in on her plan to throw a party? A: Cami; Q: Who makes a difficult decision involving the safety of Father Kieran? A: Elijah; Q: Who has to choose between Hayley and his siblings? A: his own dilemma; Q: What does Elijah face? A: Klaus; Q: Who takes drastic measures in the Cauldron? A: dangerous repercussions; Q: What happens when one of Klaus' plans fails? Summary: At the re-opening of St. Anne's Church, Father Kieran finds himself in a great deal of trouble after a run-in with a witch from his past. Marcel and Rebekah grow concerned when the reemergence of someone they once knew threatens to expose secrets they've kept buried for nearly a century. Elsewhere, Sophie is shocked when a discovery is made at the cemetery, but she soon realizes things may not be as they seem. With the full moon looming, Hayley lets Rebekah in on her plan to throw a party for her werewolf clan, but things take a dangerous turn when uninvited guests arrive. Meanwhile, Cami is conflicted when she makes a difficult decision involving the safety of Father Kieran, and Elijah finds himself facing his own dilemma when he has to choose between Hayley and his siblings. Finally, when one of his plans fails, Klaus takes drastic measures in the Cauldron, resulting in dangerous repercussions that affect everyone involved.
|
Dr. Brian: I'm looking for Dr. Lola Spratt... tall, skin like an airbrushed centerfold, legs that go all the way up to make an ass out of themselves.
Lola: [ Scoffs ] Lola is a girl's name. I thought girls can't be doctors.
Dr. Brian: Maybe I'm looking for a girl to play doctor. 5.06 - The Gang Gets Sushi
Lola: [ As Cat ] Such a pleasure to meet you.
[ Laughter ]
Cat: I do do that.
God, Lola, your impressions are so amazing. Do Glenn now.
Lola: Oh, easy.
Glenn: Oh, God.
Lola: [ As Glenn ] But why not? Is it because I'm Jewish?
Glenn: I swear, you do me saying, "But why not? Is it because I'm Jewish?" then insecurely touching my yarmulke better than I do. You really do. What about Blake? Do Blake.
Lola: Okay. [ As Blake ] You want to sponsor me in my Ironman Triathlon in May, huh? But keep in mind... I will not practice, and I will not try.
[ Laughter ]
Blake: Okay. All right.
Spot on, except that the triathlon is in June.
Dori: Hey, do me. Do me.
Lola: [ Normal voice ] I don't know who you are.
Dori: Oh.
Glenn: Lola, what's your secret?
Lola: The secret is to hone in on something specific that someone does and then... do that thing just like them.
Glenn: That's the secret.
Cat: Just like them?
Lola: Like when Owen is separating ventricles, he's like, [as Owen] "I'm Dr. Owen Maestro. Snip, snip, snip." [ Squishing, monitor beeping ]
Glenn: Oh, B.P.'s dropping.
Lola: Nurse. I'm so sorry. I'll undo that.
Glenn: Suction.
Owen: Separating the ventricles. Back it off.
Glenn: Hey, are we all going to that sushi place tonight?
Blake: Yeah.
Lola: I would not miss a night out with my best pals.
Glenn: Well, we better get going, because that place gets crowded quick.
Glenn: Hey, nurse, y-you can finish a heart surgery, right?
Dori: I'll give it a shot.
Glenn: These guys got a soft-shell crab roll. It's better than a tuna roll. [ Chuckling ] That's the thing. In Japan, they don't call it Japanese food. They just call it food.
Cat: Come on, Lola. The sushi's gonna get cold.
Lola: I'm coming. I'm printing up another photo of us for my wallet.
Cat: But we're your living, breathing photo for your wallet.
Lola: [ Chuckling ] True. But still.
Cat: Ohh.
Glenn: All right. See you there, Lola.
Cat: All right, roomie.
Lola: Bye.
Glenn: She loves those photos.
Cat: I know, even though we're just right here.
Lola: Ohh. Okay. Aww. Wait. What?
[ Gasps ]
Two, three. Liar. Ugh. [ Echoing ] Lola.
Lola: [ Gasps ] Good morning, Dr. Spratt.
Lola: Where am I? What's going on? Relax. The lieutenant will tell you everything. In fact, I believe you two knew each other.
Lola: How would you know? Because he...
Dr. Brian: ...is me.
Lola: Brian?
Dr. Brian: What's 5'9", has hair the color of raw honey, and breasts so tear-shaped it looks like her sternum is weeping? Answer... Lola Spratt.
Lola: You left without saying goodbye. You left here, out of the blue.
Dr. Brian: I couldn't say goodbye. They grabbed me the same way we grabbed you. Now, let's get you in some clothes and take a walk around the facility.
Lola: Like, different clothes?
Dr. Brian: We've been watching you, Lola. Intel says you're the most talented impressionist they've seen in decades. I guess we'll see.
Lola: Well, there's one impression I'll never be able to do, and that's of a woman who still loves you.
Dr. Brian: Well, maybe we should work on that one. After my training, Frank Caliendo could do an impression of a woman who was still in love with me in his sleep.
Lola: Oh, not a chance.
Dr. Brian: This isn't about me and you, Lola. Your country needs you. As Mr. Morgan Freeman would say... [As Morgan freeman] Your training begins now. [ Normal voice ] This job will test every technique and trick you've ever learned.
Lola: [ As John Kimble ] It's not a tumor!
Dr. Brian: More Austrian. I will assault your senses with the most sophisticated vocal-training exercises in the world.
Lola: [ As Julia Child ] I'm Julia child.
Dr. Brian: Better. More marbles. An impressionist embodies his subject. This isn't Michael!
Lola: [ Sings high note ]
Dr. Brian: Better. No impression is too obscure. [ As Andrew Dice Clay ] And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, bitch?" [ Laughing ] Oh, oh, oh. Aah!
Dr. Brian: Good!
Lola: [ Laughs ]
Dr. Brian: Austin Powers reality show.
Lola: [ As Austin powers ] Oh, you're fired, baby, yeah.
Dr. Brian: Good. You will be tested mentally, as well as physically.
Lola: [ Normal voice ] China. Brazil.
Dr. Brian: No!
Lola: Ahh! I should know that one... I lived there.
Dr. Brian: Now you're Rodney Dangerfield. What are they?
Lola: Uh... Oh! [ As Rodney Dangerfield ] Ohh, I get no respect.
Dr. Brian: Good. Now you're Groucho Marx. What are they?
Lola: [ Normal voice ] Uh... [ As Groucho ] That's the most ridiculous thing I ever heard.
Dr. Brian: Now nunchuks. Go! Go! Go!
Lola: [ Screams ] Joan Rivers as Abe Lincoln.
Lola: [ As Joan Rivers ] Fourscore and seven years ago... sounds like my s*x life. Can we talk?
Dr. Brian: You're ready.
Lola: [ Normal voice ] Mm. I miss you guys.
[ Groans ]
My throat feels like it's been on its feet for days, and my facial muscles are barking.
Dr. Brian: [ Foreign accent ] Go on. Tell me more.
Lola: Oh, I hope Brian's pleased.
Dr. Brian: [ Normal voice ] He is.
Lola: Brian.
Dr. Brian: I'm proud of you, Lola.
[SCENE_BREAK]
I brought you something. It's a wireless communication device. I wore this on my first mission. Peace rally in Chicago. I was supposed to do Jesse Jackson over the P.A. Something like, [as Jesse Jackson] "Ladies and gentlemen, I am a-Jesse Jackson."
Lola: What? [ Chuckles ]
Dr. Brian: [ Normal voice ] Two men got shot that night.
Lola: Oh.
Dr. Brian: Your first mission is tonight. Once a year, the chairman of N.A.T.O. holds a dinner for a hand-picked group of military leaders. Deals are made, and secrets are passed around like a plate of hors d'oeuvres. Hors d'oeuvres are also passed around. I'll be on the radio at all times.
Lola: So, am I impersonating a dignitary? [ Russian accent ] Maybe Russian arms dealer?
Dr. Brian: Shh. That's him. Chairman Desmit, 4:00.
Lola: [ Normal voice ] Copy that. Got him.
[ Glass clinks ]
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen.
Dr. Brian: This is it, Lola. You're on.
Lola: What? But I don't know the mission.
Dr. Brian: Your mission is to entertain them. Desmit loves impressions.
Lola: Ah.
Dr. Brian: Remember your training. So, please welcome the woman of a thousand voices, Lola Spratt.
[ Applause ]
Lola: Thank you.
I recently traveled here by military helicopter. And you'll never guess who was with me... Jerry Seinfeld. [ As Seinfeld ] What's the deal with these helicopters? They go up. They go down. Only thing they don't do is have a bathroom.
Dr. Brian: What are you doing, Lola?
Lola: [ Normal voice ] And then someone else joined us. It was a Mr. Forrest Gump. And he says, [as Forrest Gump] "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get with these helicopters."
Dr. Brian: Why would a fictional character be in the same helicopter as a real person?
Lola: Oh, look. There's Yoda. [ As Yoda ] Mm. Use the force with this helicopter you must.
Dr. Brian: Abort mission. Repeat. Abort mission. Lola? Lola! Damn. Ready the Eagle's Nest. She's gone rogue.
Lola: [ Normal voice ] Ladies and gentlemen, I've often wondered what the classic "who's on first" routine would sound like if it were between Julia Child and Christopher Walken. Now, I think it might sound a little something like this.
Dr. Brian: On my command, Eagle.
[ Gun cocks ]
Lola: [ As Julia Child ] Well, I'm Julia Child.
We have a wonderful team of players with the funniest names. [ As Christopher Walken ] What names? What are these funny names? And another guy hits a long fly ball. He's on third. And I don't give a darn. [ As Julia child ] Oh, yes. He's a shortstop.
[ Speaking native language ]
[ Applause ]
Dr. Brian: Stand down, Eagle.
Mission complete. Repeat. Mission complete. Righteous.
[ Applause continues ]
Lola: [ Chuckles ] We did it.
[ Glasses clink ]
Dr. Brian: You did it, Lola.
I'm not the only one who's impressed. We want you to join our elite squadron. You'll be traveling the world, doing impressions of everyone from local Afghani war lords to local Afghani gay lords.
Lola: I don't know. Brian, I can't leave my friends.
Dr. Brian: I think I know somebody who could be your friend.
Lola: Is he about 5'8", skin the color of a tall nonfat latte? And do the front of his pants contain a secret also the color of a... [Gasps] Brian, I... I can't. Goodbye.
[ Sobs ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Laughter ]
Dori: Lola, where have you been?
Lola: Hi, guys.
Cat: God, we had the craziest dinner.
Did you know that sushi is raw? We were all like, "Okay, what?"
Blake: Yeah, I ate a hunk of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I was like, "Okay, what?"
Owen: Lola, you would have loved... Lola?
Cat: Where'd she go?
Glenn: Lola?
Dori: All her stuff is gone.
Cat: She must be off on her own journey.
♪ And the winter sky ♪ ♪ Sings a lonely song ♪ ♪ The drama goes deep ♪ ♪ Between you and me ♪ ♪ Where is my standing ovation? ♪ ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ ♪ For the light of the sun ♪ ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ ♪ Ah, ah ♪
♪ For the light of the sun comes up or goes down ♪ ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ ♪ For the light of the sun comes up or goes down ♪
♪ Don't wait up ♪ ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ ♪ For the light of the sun comes up or goes down ♪ ♪ Don't wait up for me ♪ ♪ For the light of the sun comes up or goes down ♪
|
Plan: A: Lola's spot-on impersonations; Q: What gets Lola assigned to a government task force? A: an old love interest complicates; Q: What complicates matters? Summary: Lola's spot-on impersonations get her assigned to a government task force as an old love interest complicates matters.
|
PICTURES OF COMIC BOOK
Brooke imagine that she is a superhero.
BROOKE(Voice-over): There are people in this world who would rather destroy than create, rather take than give. These people must be stopped.
BRULIAN'S HOUSE
Brooke is dreaming. She gives a blow of arm to Julian.
BROOKE: Ugh!
JULIAN: Ouch! Brooke, what the hell?!
BROOKE: Was I sleep-fighting again?
JULIAN: Yes. No more "Kick-Ass" for my wife before bed.
BROOKE: You said "wife." I love hearing that.
(Julian steps up)
BROOKE: Mm. Where you going?
JULIAN: Work. I'm directing a commercial today. Remember?
BROOKE: No! So now the honeymoon's over, and we're just gonna turn into a boring, old married couple?
JULIAN: Uh, you fight in your sleep, Brooke. Any couple you're a part of couldn't be boring.
BROOKE: What am I supposed to do without you?
JULIAN: I don't know. Go to the grocery store? Run errands? Cook?
BROOKE: Things a boring, old husband would say for $500, please.
JULIAN: Or you could watch "Kick-Ass" again.
BROOKE: We have a winner.
MOUTH'S APARTMENT
Millie prepares breakfast for Mouth and Skills.
SKILLS: Breakfast? What's the special occasion?
MILLICENT: Marvin's first day back in television.
MOUTH: Yep, I have come full circle and ended up back at the bottom.
MILLICENT: There's nothing wrong with starting over. Julian wouldn't have hired you if he didn't think you were talented. I'm proud of you. Anyway, I should probably head home. I'll see you tonight?
MOUTH: Bye.
(Millie goes away)
SKILLS: You do know it's kind of mean to make her do the walk of shame every day, right? When are you two moving back in together?
MOUTH: We're taking it slow.
SKILLS: Man, "slow"? If you go any slower, you're gonna be going backwards. What you gonna do, take her on a date and try to figure out what her favorite flavor of ice cream is?
MOUTH: It's rocky road. And I don't think that you should be giving relationship advice. You wanted to propose to Nathan's mom on your third date.
CLINN'S HOUSE
Quinn looks at pictures she takes in the wedding. Clay joins her.
CLAY: Damn. You're good.
QUINN: I know. It's still nice to hear.
CLAY: You want to know which picture is my favorite?
QUINN: Hmm? You took that one.
CLAY: Did I? Oh, that's right I did. I had forgotten 'cause it was just so easy. All I had to do was point and click.
QUINN: Mm. That's 'cause I set my camera to "idiot mode."
CLAY: Hey, there's no need to be nasty. You're probably a better photographer than I am. There's just no way to tell.
QUINN: Oh, yes, there is. I've gotten three job offers since posting these.
CLAY: Did you...did you post the one I took? Just because those offers may have been for me.
QUINN: Hmm. Maybe they were.Let's go do something fun today Like bungee jumping. Let's go bungee jumping.
CLAY: No way. You see, I have a strict policy against doing anything where people won't feel sorry for you if you die. For example, you'll never hear anyone say, "Oh, that poor guy. He just wanted to tie a rope around his ankles and jump off a bridge."
QUINN: Okay, maybe not that, but something thrilling.
CLAY: Hmm. I think I know what you need.
QUINN: Uh!
KELLERMAN'S CLASS
Kellerman bullies a student.
KELLERMAN: What's the answer, dummy?
TOMMY: It's "Tommy." And you didn't ask me a question.
KELLERMAN: Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son. How are you going to practice business law if you can't predict my questions ahead of time?
TOMMY: I just don't understand.
KELLERMAN: Maybe you'll understand this.
NALEY'S HOUSE
Nathan tells to Clay what it's happened in class.
CLAY: Come on, man. That didn't happen. Plus, you're quoting lines from "Animal House."
NATHAN: Okay, maybe I exaggerated a little. But the guy is a nightmare. He gets off on humiliating everyone.
CLAY: Eh, so study. I mean, he can't make you look stupid if you know the material. And, besides, I mean, didn't you take this guy's class 'cause it was tough?
NATHAN: I don't have a problem with him being tough. I have a problem with him being a bully.
CLAY: Mm, it is his class. Look, you got one of two options either switch professors or deal with it.
NATHAN: It's too late to switch.
CLAY: Well, then "deal with it" wins. Otherwise, you can't be an Agent.
RED BEDROOM RECORDS
Alex wants to talks to Haley but Mia is here.
MIA: Chase isn't here. Oh, and the cease-fire is off because you kissed him during our truce.
ALEX: And you slept with him during the reception. But it doesn't matter. I'm not here for Chase. He suddenly seemed less attractive when I saw him in the limo with a 5-foot hairy mole attached to him. Anyway, I wanted to talk to Haley about recording a song here.
MIA: Since when do you sing?
ALEX: I'm serious.
MIA: I know. That's why I'm laughing.
ALEX: Well, like I said, I came to ask Haley, not you. Why talk to the greasy rag when you can talk to the mechanic?
MIA: Haley thinks what I think.
ALEX: We'll see.
MIA: Okay, then. Bye.
BROOKE(Voice-over): Evil lurks behind every door in Tree Hill. Stay tuned, loyal viewers... To be dazzled.
ONE TREE HILL - OPEN CREDITS
SET OF COMMERCIAL
Julian explains to Mouth the topic.
JULIAN: So, it's a recruitment commercial for Tree Hill College, and if things go well, it could lead to more work for both of us.
MOUTH: Hey, thanks again for the job. It's nice to be needed for something other than cleaning toilets.
MAN: Uh, we have a problem with Michael.
JULIAN: Our actor.
MOUTH: Let me guess, he flooded the bathroom?
MAN: No, no. Uh...Well, yes. But he has a problem with his lines, too.
JULIAN: What's the problem?
MAN: He doesn't know them.
MOUTH: I'm on it. I need a script and a plunger.
CLUB TRIC
The mother of Chuck drinks glass. Mia comes to the bar.
CHUCK'S MOM: If I didn't hate men right now, you'd be in trouble.
CHASE: Yep. Men suck.
CHUCK'S MOM: Mm.
MIA: Hey. So, I was just checking in. Are we cool? Because, you know, we haven't really talked since the...Um... Wedding.
CHASE: Of course. We said the slutty wedding s*x didn't have to mean anything.
MIA: Well, you said that. Uh, I just agreed. So, nothing's wrong?
CHASE: No. At least not with us.
MIA: So what is wrong?
CHASE: I started this job because Owen needed my help. It felt good knowing I was making a difference. Now all I do is help people get drunk.
MIA: If you want to help people, there's always somebody who needs it, you know? You could always volunteer, like Haley did.
CHASE: I could be a Big Brother. I've always liked playing with kids.
MIA: Yeah, don't say that out loud.
BRULIAN'S HOUSE
Brooke has fun with the toys of Julian. Haley comes in.
BROOKE: Pshew! Who needs a clothing company when you can fly? Oh, my God.
HALEY: Oh. Hey.
BROOKE: Finally. I am so bored, Hales. Not working is killing me. Can I...can I come and join you at the crisis center? We could solve problems, like a...Problem-solving...Duo.
HALEY: The truth is, I signed up to help people, but I spend most of the day playing "Angry Birds."
BROOKE: Mm. I know what'll make you feel better. Haley and Brooke looks at ''Kiss-ass''.
HALEY: The mouth on that little girl!
BROOKE: I know, right?
HALEY: See, why can't the crisis center be more like this? People call in, they ask for help, and we actually help them. But, no, we're told to just listen.
BROOKE: You think anyone would ever tell hit girl to just listen?
ALEX'S HOTEL ROOM
Quinn arrives in the room badly equipped and not capped.
QUINN: Hey. I just got your text. What's the emergency?
ALEX: I didn't say it was an emergency. I said I wanted to talk.
QUINN: Oh. An emergency sounded much more exciting. Anyway, what's up? What's the problem?
ALEX: Have I told you that before I started acting, I really wanted to be a singer?
QUINN: Yes, several times at Brooke's bachelorette party.
ALEX: Okay. Then shut up. The studio is letting me record a song for the soundtrack of my next movie.
QUINN: That's awesome! So, what's the emergency?
ALEX: Again, no emergency. I need a favor. I want to record at Red Bedroom, but Mia won't let me through the door.
QUINN: So you want me to help you break in late at night and secretly record.
ALEX: No. I want you to ask Haley if she'll let me do it.
QUINN: That's it? Just...Talk to my sister?
ALEX: Sorry my problem isn't more exciting. If it makes you feel better, we can pretend Mia's an evil villain that we have to thwart. I just said "thwart." So, will you?
QUINN: Yes, of course I will. But I doubt Mia will mind when she realizes how much it means to you.
KELLERMAN'S CLASS
Nathan is in class.
KELLERMAN: You're wrong. What do you have to say for yourself?
TOMMY: That I wish I was right?
KELLERMAN: It seems the only question you know the answer to is, ''do you want dessert?"
NATHAN: Wouldn't everyone know the answer to that question? It's usually "yes."
KELLERMAN: Well, if everyone knows the answers, we don't need to prepare any more for tomorrow's test. Good day, everyone.
TOMMY: Good looking out, dude.
NATHAN: Hey, no big deal.
TOMMY: Uh, yeah, it is. He's a scary dude. Anyways, uh, me and some of the guys get together twice a week for a study group. Uh, we're actually meeting up tonight, if you want in.
NATHAN: Yeah, sounds great. Where is it?
TOMMY: Funny you should ask. It's your night to host. So...Where is it?
NATHAN: My place, I guess.
CHUCK'S HOUSE
Chase picks up chuck to go somewhere.
CHASE: Are you Charles Daniel Scolnik? I'm Chase, your new Big Brother.
CHUCK: Only losers call me "Charles." It's "Chuck." Hey, you're Jamie's friend, right? The bartender.
CHASE: Bar manager, yeah.
CHUCK: Ooooooh. So, what are we doing today?
CHASE: How would you like to go up in a plane?
CHUCK: Cool! Where to?
CHASE: Just around Tree Hill, maybe Pickerington.
CHUCK: Okay. Nice hat. Do they make them for guys?
NALEY'S HOUSE
Haley looks at his letter-box, Brooke arrives with bags of clothing.
BROOKE: Hey.
HALEY: Do I even want to ask?
BROOKE: I'll give you a hint. ''da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na! Haley! Haley!'' Brooke and Haley try the costume of superhero.
HALEY: No.
BROOKE: No. What, you haven't even heard my idea.
HALEY: Fine. What is it?
BROOKE: We should be superheroes.
HALEY: No.
BROOKE: Come on! You love helping people. I love designing clothes. You put those things together, and voila.
HALEY: "Voila" is not exactly the word I would use to describe this.
BROOKE: Come on! You yourself said you wanted the crisis center to be more like "Kick-Ass." We can use it to find people who need help. It can be like our own personal batphone.
HALEY: You are forgetting an important detail, which is the fact that superheroes have actual superpowers.
BROOKE: Yes, but I am feisty, and you're pregnant. Nobody's gonna hit a pregnant lady! It's like your shield.
HALEY: You want me to use my unborn baby as my shield?! Are you crazy?
BROOKE: Oh, come on! I need a sidekick.
HALEY: Sidekick? Girl, give me a break. If anything, we're gonna be a duo.
BROOKE: So you're in. Aah! Let's be superheroes!
(Quinn enters in the room)
QUINN: Uh...
BROOKE: Exactly how much did you hear?
QUINN: Enough? I'll just come back later. Aah!
BROOKE: I'm afraid I can't let you do that.
QUINN: Okay.
SET OF COMMERCIAL
Millicent joins Mouth at his job.
JULIAN: Okay, cut!
MILLICENT: Hi. Um, I hope it's okay that I stopped by. I didn't know if they'd give you lunch.
MOUTH: Oh, thanks. Skills ate my breakfast.
MILLICENT: One of the downsides of having a roommate. Is he back for long?
MOUTH: I never know. He actually asked if you and I were gonna move back in together.
MILLICENT: What did you say?
MOUTH: That we were taking it slow. Right?
MILLICENT: Right. Anyway, um, I'm gonna let you get back to work.
(Millicent goes away and Julian approaches to Mouth)
JULIAN: She seemed upset. Did something happen?
MOUTH: I think I just told her that I didn't want to live with her.
JULIAN: That'll do it.
NALEY'S HOUSE
Quinn wants explications.
QUINN: What's going on?
BROOKE: It's quite simple, really. Haley and I are Tree Hill's newest superheroes.
QUINN: I didn't know Tree Hill had any superheroes.
BROOKE: Well, now that you know, you're either with us or against us. We would prefer "with."
HALEY: She's kidding. Obviously...
QUINN: I'm in!
BROOKE: Excellent! Now all we need is Haley to go to the crisis center and find us a problem to solve.
HALEY: I never said that I would do this.
BROOKE: There's our first problem. You fix it. I'm needed elsewhere.
AIRPORT
Chase took along Chuck to the airport.
CHASE: Do you want to know why I became a Big Brother? 'Cause you have no friends. Chuck!
CHUCK: Why? It's this new thing I invented. You just got chucked.
CHASE: What if we just high-five instead?
CHUCK: High fives are lame.
CHASE: You know, when I was a kid, I always wanted to become a pilot.
CHUCK: I want to be someone who has their own pilot. My dad says if you're really important, people fly you. I guess you're not that important. Chuck!
CHASE: Aah! Damn it.
NALEY'S HOUSE
Haley talks with her sister.
HALEY: You can't be serious.
QUINN: Me? You're the one that keeps checking yourself out in the mirror. You do look hot in that outfit, by the way.
HALEY: Well, duh. Doesn't mean I'm gonna run around playing make-believe.
QUINN: Come on. It could be so much fun. Besides, ever since my run-in with Katie, I've been feeling restless, and I need excitement.
HALEY: Or some help.
QUINN: Yeah. Maybe I could be our first mission.
HALEY: No. There's not gonna be a first mission. Why are you here, anyway?
QUINN: Oh. Um, right. I need a favor. Alex wants to record at the studio. She can even pay you for it.
HALEY: Alex? I didn't... I didn't even know she sang. Yeah. W-why didn't she just ask me herself?
QUINN: She tried. Mia chased her away.
HALEY: Great. Yeah, please, tell her that's fine. I will talk to Mia. I'm having enough trouble keeping people in the studio without Mia sending them away.
QUINN: Perfect. See? Doesn't it feel good to help someone? Almost...Super-good. Kind of makes you... Super Haley.
HALEY: That's so dumb. Why would I include my real name in my superhero name?
QUINN: Okay, see? That's why we need you. Your power is your brain.
HALEY: Mm-hmm. Nathan invites some classmate to study.
TOMMY: Okay, I'll start the discussion. Why is Kellerman such an asshat? Mr. Scott, as the newest member of the Kellerman sucks club, perhaps you'd like to field this one.
NATHAN: I'd love to.
CHUCK'S HOUSE
Chase brings back Chuck at his place.
CHASE: So, today was fun, yeah?
CHUCK: Stop asking me that. Want to come in for dinner? It's meat night.
CHASE: Uh, sorry. I have plans.
CHUCK: Like a date? Do you have a girlfriend?
CHASE: Mm...Things are kind of complicated right now.
CHUCK: My dad says that's just a fancy way of saying you're a loser. Anyway, I hope tomorrow isn't as boring as today.
CHASE: Okay. See you tomorrow.
CHUCK: Chuck!
CHASE: Hate that kid.
CRISIS INTERVENTION
Haley receives a call.
HALEY(at phone): Crisis center.
GIRL(at phone): I don't know why I'm calling, but I just needed to talk to someone. Three girls at my school won't stop bullying me, and I don't know how much more I can take.
HALEY(at phone): I'm sorry. Have you told anyone? Um, your parents or maybe a teacher?
GIRL(at phone): Doesn't do any good. They used to tease me for being a tomboy, which was bad enough. But then they found out that I was adopted, and now they call me little orphan tranny. It just they even made a Facebook page about me.
HALEY(at phone): I'm so sorry. Maybe I can help. I can call the school for you, or I can come down and talk to these girls.
GIRL(at phone): Don't. It'll just make things worse. I just needed to talk to someone. Thanks for listening.
HALEY(at phone): Well...
(The girl hangs up again)
HALEY(at phone): ''Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Haley! Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Haley!''
CHUCK'S HOUSE
Chase picks up Chuck again.
CHUCK: What are you doing out here? Were you trying to peek in my window?
CHASE: Um...No. We had plans today. Remember?
CHUCK: My dad says guys can always flake on each other.
CHASE: I wouldn't do something like that. Anyway, I should probably tell your mom where we're going.
CHUCK: No, that's fine. Let's go.
BRULIAN'S HOUSE
Brooke and Quinn play, Halley arrives.
BROOKE: Pow!
QUINN: Ooh! Whoa!
HALEY: So, a girl called the crisis center last night. I think we can help her.
BROOKE: Aah! Okay, we knew you'd come around eventually. From now on, call me "b. Dazzle."
HALEY: Or that could stand for "Brooke Davis."
BROOKE: Damn it.
QUINN: Ooh, ooh! And...and I'm "shutterbug." I blind people with my flash and then collect their photos as trophies.
BROOKE: And you are "baby mama."
HALEY: Never mind.
BROOKE: Oh, come on. We can help. Who's the girl?
HALEY: She is a high-school student that some bullies have been calling "little orphan tranny." They even put a website up about her.
BROOKE: To the research lab.
SET OF COMMERCIAL
Mouth arrives at his job.
MOUTH: Hey, I'm not late, am I?
JULIAN: No, our wonderful actor is.
MOUTH: It can't be easy going from directing real actors to directing someone's stoned nephew for a local commercial.
JULIAN: Yeah, but it's still directing, and I get to do what I love. And then I get to go home and do what...be with who I really love. Speaking of, how are things with Millie?
MOUTH: I guess the same. She didn't stay over last night, so...I don't know. Maybe it's better that we're taking things slow.
JULIAN: Have you seen our wedding photos yet? Does that look like a girl who wants to take things slow?
(Man comes in)
MAN: Michael quit.
JULIAN: What?
MAN: He said he was doing the job of a mannequin, and he didn't understand the scene, anyway.
MOUTH: What's not to get? It's all about taking the next big step in life. I remember before I got back together with Millie, my life felt meaningless. I was just doing the same thing day after day, and I wasn't happy.
BRULIAN'S HOUSE
Girls made research.
HALEY: This is awful!
QUINN: "I bet you her real parents wanted a boy. That's why she dresses like one."
HALEY: And look at this. "She should be an ad for birth control."
BROOKE: Wait a minute. They're making fun of her because she's adopted? Peyton was adopted. And what if I adopt? These bitches would make fun of my kid.
QUINN: Looks like they're planning on ambushing her after school.
HALEY: Where? You sure?
QUINN: Pretty sure. It says right here, "ambushing tranny after school," and two girls click "like."
HALEY: Unreal. We should call the school, you guys.
QUINN: Or...We could show up and let those little evil villains know what mean really is.
BROOKE: Hmm.
HALEY: The last evil villain that you fought shot you and put you in a coma.
BROOKE: She's right. You survived a gunshot and a coma. You're indestructible.
QUINN: Yes!
HALEY: That's not...guys, I think I made a mistake bringing this to you.
BROOKE: Oh, relax. They're not crips. They're kids. More specifically, they're stuck-up little bitches who need to be dealt with.
QUINN: Hales, you used to be a teacher. Did you ever let bullies get away with this?
BROOKE: She's right. You used to be a teacher. I used to be a stuck-up girl. They are no match for us.
QUINN: I used to be stuck-up, too.
RED BEDROOM RECORDS
Alex comes to record.
ALEX: I know we've had our differences, but I was hoping we could start over on a professional level, musician to musician.
MIA: You're not a musician. You're an actress pretending to be one. My friend Peyton started this label for real artists, okay?
ALEX: You haven't even heard me sing.
MIA: No, but I've heard that whiny noise you call speaking, and that's enough for me.
ALEX: Well...I think you're an amazing musician.
MIA: Damn it. She knows how we love compliments.
NALEY'S HOUSE
Haley talks to Jamie.
HALEY: Do you get picked on at school?
JAMIE: Not really. Did someone say I did?
HALEY: No. I just was talking with a girl who gets picked on, and she seemed kind of sad, so I wanted to know if anyone bullied you.
JAMIE: Not anymore. Chuck used to, though.
HALEY: Yeah, that's right. I had words with his mother.
JAMIE: Oh, then dad showed up in a cape, remember?
HALEY: Yeah, then Aunt Brooke made capes for all the rest of the kids at school.
JAMIE: Dad was like a superhero that day. And me and Chuck have been friends ever since.
HALEY: Hmm. Nathan discusses with Clay.
NATHAN: What's wrong with being a hero? Bullies don't stop unless somebody stands up to them. I know. I used to be one.
CLAY: No, I get it, but sometimes being a hero means sacrificing one cause for the good of another.
NATHAN: I know. I just wish I could put him in his place for once.
KELLERMAN'S CLASS
Nathan is in class.
KELLERMAN: In business, people make deals, but people cannot be trusted. Contracts, on the other hand, can be trusted. It's as simple as that. Put it on paper, and, in a sense, it is carved in stone. The written word is made truth. Seems Mr. Scott disagrees with me. Please tell us all what you were thinking so we may bask in the glorious light of your knowledge.
NATHAN: I just know an agency that doesn't work like that.
KELLERMAN: Oh, really? And what's the name of this magical agency that signs clients with hugs?
(Clay, at the bottom of the class, intervenes)
CLAY: The agency's name is Fortitude. Integrity. Now, that's the most important part of any business working with those who have it and keeping your own. Look, without it, contracts aren't worth the paper they're written on.
KELLERMAN: And who are you, besides an uninvited nuisance?
CLAY: My name's not important, but the name Troy Jameson is. You know, as a top-10 NFL pick, he signed with fortitude, a smaller agency, because he thought that the agents had his back. It was a personal relationship that sealed that deal.
KELLERMAN: And I'm sure money had nothing to do with it. You must have won him over with your smile.
CLAY: A-and a hug.
KELLERMAN: You've all heard the phrase "it's just business." That's because business and personal relationships don't mix. They don't mix because people change. Viewpoints shift. Fortunes ebb and flow. Relationships and loyalties end. New ones begin. I can assure you, young man and by "young," I mean "inexperienced" that the only way to survive in business is to keep it as such -- just business. And, again, I've only taught this class for 20 years and written a book about it!
CLAY: I-I'm sorry. I, uh, I haven't read your book. I've just been a little bit too busy actually working in the business world. You know, but I do know the difference between book theory and real-world practice. You see, Professor, you're teaching theory. I'm living practice. You know, I think the bottom line here is that within the walls of this class, your book might work, but as soon as you walk outside into the world, you know, what really works are honest relationships...That include hugs.
BROOKE'S CAR
Quinn takes in Brooke photograph which goes to the car.
BROOKE: Okay. Okay. Cool it, shutterbug. Where's baby mama?
QUINN: I don't think that she's coming. And, you know, to be honest, I'm kind of having second thoughts myself. I mean, Brooke, we're in Halloween costumes.
BROOKE: First of all, Brooke Davis makes top-of-the-line superhero apparel. And secondly, I'm b. Dazzle. Isn't that right, French-speaking crime-fighting car?
CD ON CAR: Oui, madame.
QUINN: Okay, we're really gonna do this.
BROOKE: Yes. If we don't, that poor girl will suffer and we'll have done nothing. We need to be brave for her.
(Haley appears)
HALEY: They used to call me "Whaley." "Whaley Haley."
BROOKE: Not anymore, baby mama. Not anymore.
HALEY: That is not my name!
RED BEDROOM RECORDS
Alex records her song.
MAN(at Mia): You should listen to this.
SET OF COMMERCIAL
Mouth shoots the local commercial.
MOUTH: ''I was tired of spending my days lying on the couch and unhappy with who I was and what I was doing. That's why I decided to stop making excuses and start moving forward with my life. So, no, I don't want to get high off of that THC. I want to get high off of this THC, Tree Hill College. Enroll now.''
JULIAN: Perfect! That's a wrap! Great job.
AIRPORT
Chase talks with Chuck a little.
CHASE: Don't the buildings look cool from up there?
CHUCK: Don't know. I could only see the tops.
CHASE: One of the, uh, first memories I have of my dad is when he took me up on a plane. You gonna tell your dad about this?
CHUCK: Nah. He lives out of town, so we don't talk much. And when we do, he only likes to hear about the cool stuff.
CHASE: How often do you see him?
CHUCK: I was supposed to see him for a weekend last summer, but then his favorite kid rock cover band was playing that week. Can't pass stuff like that up.
CHASE: What about your mom? You do anything fun with her?
CHUCK: I guess. She works a lot, so I only see her at dinner. You should come over.
CHASE: Can't. Besides, you should spend the time with your mom. I know I wish I could...
CHUCK: Chuck!
SCENE PARK
The three girls bully the young girl.
NIKKI: Little orphan tranny. Aren't you supposed to have a dog?
RACHEL: No, she just has the face of one.
BULLY GIRL: Why don't you just leave me alone?
AUDREY: 'Cause you're so fun to mess with. Bet your bottom dollar, you're about to get your ass kicked.
BROOKE: I wouldn't take that bet.
(Brooke dreams)
BROOKE: I wouldn't take that bet.
QUINN: We're shutterbug, b. Dazzle, and baby mama, and we're here to make sure you leave this girl alone.
HALEY: That's not my name.
BROOKE: Enough talk. It's time for action. Prepare to be dazzled. Oh. Homemade liquid smoke. That was supposed to... Spread further.
NIKKI: Wow, tranny. You found three bigger losers than you.
BROOKE: Excuse me? What is it about you that you think makes you so cool, you can tease other people? Is it your man face? Or your chicken legs? Or maybe your enormous feet?
QUINN: Hey!
BROOKE: Sorry. Don't even get me started on your ratty hair, your bad lip gloss, and your fake Louis Vuitton.
NIKKI: Wait till tomorrow, when these old crazy ladies aren't here. We're gonna...
HALEY: What are you gonna do... Nikki?
NIKKI: How do you know my name?
BROOKE: It's one of her superpowers. It all started when a giant asteroid hit...
HALEY: Nikki, you...you were picked on all freshman year of High School for being the new girl. Guess you found somebody else to tease so they'd leave you alone. Smart girl like you, applying to Princeton...tsk-tsk...really should know better. Maybe I'll call the Dean.
NIKKI: Like the Dean of Princeton would listen to some wack job in a cape.
HALEY: Well, since you, Rachel, and Audrey all need clean records to get those scholarships, I wouldn't want some crazy wack job saying anything if I were... You.
QUINN: Besides, we're all a little crazy.
BROOKE: Mm-hmm.
QUINN: And you never know when we're just gonna pop up. You open up that locker crazy girl inside. You go to sleep at night, guess who's underneath that bed.Crazy girl! You get in the back seat of that car, guess who's there! Crazy girl!
BROOKE: They got it.
QUINN: I'm shutterbug.
BROOKE: Yes, you are.
NIKKI: Fine. We're leaving.
BROOKE: Good. But in case you want to fight again, we'll be ready for you!
QUINN: And you all take down that website, or I'll post your photos, and they're all from bad angles.
BROOKE: Bad.
RACHEL: It's not like we can beat them up. I think one of them is pregnant.
BROOKE: Shield.
QUINN: How did you know their names?
HALEY: Well... I was a teacher, and I still have some friends at the school.
BROKOE: You're like a mastermind.
HALEY: I am a mastermind. That's more like it.
(Girls returns to the bully girl)
HALEY: Hey.
BULLY GIRL: Mrs. Scott? What are you doing here?
HALEY: I am here to tell you that things will get better and that High School is full of insecure kids who are just gonna make fun of you for no reason. They used to make fun of me for being smart and dressing weird. This, I get it. Listen, the thing is, no matter how different you are, you'll always find someone who accepts you.
BROOKE: It's true.
HALEY: Are you gonna be okay?
BULLY GIRL: I think so. Can I ask you guys for a favor?
QUINN: Sure.
CLAY'S CAR
Nathan and Clay speak together.
NATHAN: So, i can't be the hero, but you can, huh?
CLAY: Wow. You are learning. You know, you're not nearly as dumb as Kellerman thinks you are. And besides, he can make fun of you all he wants, but leave Fortitude alone.
NATHAN: Well, I have a feeling there's gonna be some backlash, but it was worth it. Thanks.
CLAY: No problem. You know, the world needs all the heroes it can get.
(The girls pass in front of the car)
NATHAN: You got to be kidding me.
CLAY: Is that liquid smoke?
CHUCK'S HOUSE
Chase brings Chuck at home.
CHUCK: Thanks for hanging out with me.
CHASE: Yeah. Oh! Oh. Uh...Yeah. I had fun.
CHUCK'S MOM: Hey, I know you. You're my bartender.
CHUCK: Bar manager. And he's also a pilot.
CHASE: Yeah. I'm your pilot. Guess that makes you pretty important, doesn't it? Hey, uh, can I still join you for dinner?
CHUCK: Definitely.
CHASE: Chase! Yeah. You just got big-brothered.
RED BEDROOM RECORDS
Mia talks to Alex.
MIA: So, you still want to hear what I think?
ALEX: I don't know. Is it still "you suck"?
MIA: As a person, yes. But... As a musician, you are surprisingly good.
ALEX: That really means a lot coming from you.
MIA: You know, Peyton and Haley gave me the chance to sing. But lately, I haven't been singing. I've been... Fighting with you and trying to get Chase to like me.
ALEX: I'm sorry.
MIA: It's not your fault. I've let myself become the unhappy girl that I used to be. But watching you in here... Reminded me of how I feel every time I sing. And I love it, and I need to get back to it.
ALEX: So, does that mean you're taking my studio time?
MIA: No. I think I'm gonna tour for a little while. But keep singing, Alex.
ALEX: You think I'm great.
MOUTH'S APARTMENT
Millicent and Mouth diner.
MILLICENT: To you being back on the air.
MOUTH: I have to admit, it felt really good. Not for the reason I thought it would. The whole time I was doing it, I wasn't thinking, "I'm back in front of the camera." I was thinking, "I can't wait to tell Millie." I was scared of messing things up if we lived together again. But I got even more scared when you didn't stay over last night.
MILLICENT: What happened to your night light?
MOUTH: Look, you've been over every night. We already live together. Living without you is what made me scared. So I'm done taking things slow. I want you to move in tomorrow or even tonight, if you can. Or is that too fast?
(Skills laid down on the catch very heard)
SKILLS: Whew.
MILLICENT: Mmm-mmm.
GIRL'S HOUSE
The girl looks at the picture where she is with Brooke, Haley and Quinn.
NALEY'S HOUSE
Nathan reads a book in bed, Haley comes in.
HALEY: So, did you tell Jamie?
NATHAN: Did I tell our son his mom and her friends were running around town pretending to be superheroes? Of course I did.
HALEY: Oh. I've been feeling so helpless lately at the crisis center. I wanted to stop some bullies. And this whole superhero thing was Brooke's idea.
NATHAN: Well, while you were out fighting crime, Erin called. She's visiting her family in Ireland. She wanted to thank you for everything.
HALEY: She's talking to her family again. That's so great.
NATHAN: See? You were already a hero. You didn't even need the costume.
HALEY: I'm thinking about keeping it anyway, though. You know, it's kind of sexy.
NATHAN: Oh, geez! Super Haley...You got to be careful in your condition.
HALEY: Shh! You must never use my real name. I'm mastermind.
CLINN'S HOUSE
Clay makes puzzle and he wants to help to Quinn.
CLAY: Hey, babe! I'm having trouble with this puzzle. Could you be my hero and help me? It's super Quinn.
QUINN: It's "shutterbug" now.
CLAY: You ladies have fun?
QUINN: Yeah. But it wasn't about that. It was about righting wrongs, correcting injustices, and being total badasses.
CLAY: Hmm. And here I thought that super Quinn or shutterbug only came out on Halloween and when you're feeling frisky.
QUINN: Or when I'm bored. And since a certain someone wouldn't go bungee jumping with me, I had to find something to entertain myself with.
CLAY: I-I get it. It's nice to feel like a hero every now and again. You know, I actually, um did something pretty heroic myself today, although I didn't look anywhere near as sexy as you.
QUINN: I beg to differ.
CLAY: Are you looking for a little shutterbug/super Clay action?
QUINN: I was thinking more along the lines of shutterbug vs. The burglar.
CLAY: Oh. Yeah, I'm not so su...
QUINN: You've messed with the wrong girl, burglar. Say "cheese."
BRULIAN'S HOUSE
Julian returns to the house, Brooke is already out of dressing gown.
BROOKE: Hey, hubby Baker. How was your day?
JULIAN: Great. The college is happy, mouth is happy, and I'm happy.
BROOKE: Good. Then I'm happy.
JULIAN: How about you? Did you do anything fun today?
BROOKE: No. You know me. Just your average, ordinary, mild-mannered citizen. Hmm.
BROOKE(Voice-over): Tune in next week, loyal viewers same "O.T.H." Time, same "O.T.H." Channel. End of the episode.
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Plan: A: Haley; Q: Who is one of the super-heroes? A: their talents; Q: What do Haley, Brooke, and Quinn use for the greater good? A: Julian; Q: Who takes on a directing job? A: a directing job; Q: What job does Julian take on? A: Chase mentors Chuck; Q: Who mentors Chuck? A: Alex; Q: Who reveals her unheard talent as a musician? A: Kick-Ass; Q: What movie is this episode a tribute to? A: Footloose; Q: What song is this episode named after? A: Bonnie Tyler; Q: Who interpreted the song from Footloose? A: SO&SO; Q: Who performed the opening theme song? Summary: Haley, Brooke, and Quinn become super-heroes for the day to use their talents for the greater good. Julian takes on a directing job and helps Mouth, Chase mentors Chuck and Alex reveals her unheard talent as a musician. This episode is a tribute to Kick-Ass. This episode is named after a song from Footloose , interpreted by Bonnie Tyler . Opening theme song performed by SO&SO.
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THE CLAWS OF AXOS
BY: BOB BAKER & DAVE MARTIN
5:15pm - 5:40pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(The DOCTOR realises what is happening...)
DOCTOR: Yes...yes, of course! Axons! (To JO and FILER.) That ship! Axonite! It's all the same thing! Don't you see we're dealing with one single living creature. Axonite was just the dormant state until I...I activated it.
FILER: Can't you stop it?
DOCTOR: No, it's too late. Don't you see, Filer? This stuff could endanger the entire world.
JO: Doctor! Look out!
(WINSER has turned into a rolling mass of Axonite which starts to flow towards the three of them. They run round the accelerator and head for the door but a raw, tentacle Axon creature bursts through the door. JO screams and they run in another direction but another of the creatures is in front of them. JO cries out again - they are trapped. FILER turns to see another of the creatures behind him. Suddenly, one of them extends an orange tentacle which touches FILER on the chest. There is a crackling sound and, with a cry of pain, he falls to the ground. The other Axons close in on the DOCTOR and JO who back up towards the accelerator.)
VOICE OF AXOS: De-energise them.
(The DOCTOR and JO stiffen and close their eyes as if possessed as the three Axons surround them.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Re-personalise.
(The three Axons have linked "hands". They transform into their golden personas.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Re-personalisation completed. Take them to Axos.
(The DOCTOR and JO silently turn and face the door. Surrounded by the three Axons, they start to walk out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. OFFICE
(The BRIGADIER is on the phone to UNIT HQ.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone: Angrily.) What are you talking about, man?! I repeat - I want an urgent cable to Geneva HQ. Now, message reads "Chinn making illegal unilateral deal. Request confirmation..."
(He stops in mid-sentence as the operator at the other end of the line speaks.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What do you mean a similar message has already been sent? (He listens.) It can't have been! (Listens.) Well, there must have been a security leak. (Listens.) Look, just tell me exactly what happened.
(HARKER enters the room and puts up his gun.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Just a moment. (To HARKER.) You can put that away, Captain. I don't think you'll be needing it.
CAPTAIN HARKER: Sir, you're still under arrest.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Smiles.) I doubt it. I think you'd better get in contact with your HQ.
(HARKER looks confused...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(CHINN and HARDIMAN rush into the lab. The AXON MAN stands there.)
HARDIMAN: (Angrily.) What's happened? Where's Winser?
AXON MAN: Your scientist has been killed.
HARDIMAN: (Shocked.) Killed? How?
AXON MAN: His body was destroyed by an intense blast of radiation.
HARDIMAN: Radiation?
CHINN: What happened?
AXON MAN: Our instruments showed attempts were being made to interfere with the structure of Axonite. We came to help...but we were too late.
HARDIMAN: We?
AXON MAN: My crew have removed the unstable material.
HARDIMAN: And the radiation?
AXON MAN: Has already been neutralised.
CHINN: (To HARDIMAN.) Did you authorise these experiments, Sir George?
HARDIMAN: No, I did not. Winser went his own way - poor devil.
CHINN: Did you mean to tell me...!
AXON MAN: (Interrupting.) The blame is for you to decide. This kind of thing must never happen again - never! Otherwise, we shall cancel the agreement!
(CHINN looks worried.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. AXOS. PRISON CHAMBER
(JO and the DOCTOR are held in the prison chamber. JO lies on the floor, the DOCTOR against the wall and both are held by wall tendrils.)
JO: (Panicking.) Doctor! I can't move!
DOCTOR: Jo, lie still! There's nothing we can do.
JO: Where are we?
DOCTOR: We're back inside Axos...and these claws, or whatever you call them, are a living part of Axos.
(JO cries out as the tendrils tighten their grip.)
JO: Well, why did they bring us here?
DOCTOR: I wish I knew.
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(HARKER has gone to speak to CHINN in the lab. The AXON MAN watches. The BRIGADIER and several regular army soldiers are also in the lab.)
CAPTAIN HARKER: Excuse me, sir. I've been talking to my HQ - about Brigadier Lethbridge Stewart.
CHINN: (Impatiently.) The Brigadier is under arrest.
HARDIMAN: Any sign of Miss Grant or the Doctor?
CAPTAIN HARKER: Er, no, sir. (To CHINN.) Excuse me, sir, the message from HQ?
CHINN: (Shouts.) Not now!
(HARDIMAN speaks to the AXON MAN who walks round the other side of the main console.)
HARDIMAN: When you arrived here, were there any signs...
AXON MAN: (Interrupting.) When we arrived there was no one here - except this man.
(He points to the floor and a previously unnoticed unconscious form that lies on the floor.)
HARDIMAN: Filer!
(HARDIMAN rushes to him and makes a quick examination.)
AXON MAN: He is in a coma. Since my help is no longer needed. I shall return to my ship.
(HARDIMAN waves one of the soldiers over. The BRIGADIER also joins them.)
HARDIMAN: Here, give us a hand. He's terribly ill.
(The BRIGADIER and the soldier pull FILER up off the floor.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To HARKER.) You've got a medical wing, haven't you? Well take him there - get on with it!
CAPTAIN HARKER: All right, sir. (To a soldier.) Come on.
(Two soldiers start to carry FILER from the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
(The DOCTOR and JO stand in the central chamber of Axos before the moving eye. On a wall behind it is an image of the AXON MAN'S head which constantly turns and cross-fades to another aspect of itself.)
AXON MAN: All things must die, Doctor. Mankind, this planet, Axos merely hastens the process.
DOCTOR: Oh? How?
AXON MAN: Axonite is simply...bait for human greed. Because of this greed, Axonite will soon spread across the entire planet...and then, the nutrition cycle will begin.
DOCTOR: Indeed, and what then?
AXON MAN: Slowly, we will consume every particle of energy - every last cell of living matter. Earth will be sucked dry!
(The DOCTOR and JO look at each other.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(CHINN is being made aware of the turn around of events.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: On the contrary, Mr. Chinn, the position has changed.
CHINN: Changed? How? (To HARKER.) Captain?
CAPTAIN HARKER: I'm afraid so, sir. I did try and tell you. I've had orders direct from the ministry - I'm to hand over command to the Brigadier.
CHINN: Ministry? (Shouts.) But I haven't heard anything about this!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, you have now!
CHINN: Now, look here...
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupting, to HARKER.) Captain, anything on the Doctor and Miss Grant?
CAPTAIN HARKER: No, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, release my men - they'll help you search. We've got to find them.
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
(The DOCTOR'S conversation with the ever-changing image continues...)
DOCTOR: Well obviously, your plan entails some sort of time limit.
AXON MAN: Axonite must be activated within seventy-two hours of our landing.
(The image fades.)
DOCTOR: You know, Jo, I think our friend, Chinn, has done the right thing for once - for the wrong reasons, of course.
JO: What do you mean?
DOCTOR: Well, fortunately, he intends to confine the entire supply of Axonite to Britain.
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. OFFICE
(CHINN sits at a desk, quietly dozing. There is a noise from a monitor next to him. He switches it on and an image of a grey-haired, grey-faced man appears. It is CHINN'S boss - THE MINISTER.)
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) Chinn?
CHINN: Sir?
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) Perhaps you can tell me why the sole result of the special powers I granted you, has been this catastrophic security leak?
CHINN: (Puzzled.) Catastrophic security leak? Which catastrophic security leak, sir?
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) The United Nations are demanding the immediate free world-wide distribution of Axonite. The whole thing has blown up in our faces, Chinn.
CHINN: Yes sir, in our faces, sir.
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) Distribution is to take place immediately.
CHINN: Yes, sir. Just as soon as I can...
THE MINISTER: (On monitor: Interrupting.) Yes sir - not as soon as - immediately. Arrange air transport.
CHINN: You can depend upon me, sir.
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) Mmm, what? Yes, well, just in case we can't...
(He holds up a piece of paper.)
THE MINISTER: (On monitor.) Your resignation, Chinn. All ready for signature. Goodbye, Chinn.
(CHINN squirms as the screen goes blank. He picks up a phone.)
CHINN: (Into phone.) Hello? (He listens.) Get me air transport liaison.
(He waits then...)
CHINN: (Into phone.) Hello, Chinn here. I want you to arrange for world-wide distribution of Axonite immediately.
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. SICK BAY
(FILER lies unconscious in a hospital bed. A nurse makes a note on his chart and leaves. After she has gone, FILER starts to come round, mumbling incoherently.)
FILER: Axonite...Axonite...dangerous...if kept here. Must not distribute...must not distribute!
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: EXT. NUTON COMPLEX
(An open truck, with the TARDIS in the back of it, enters the Nuton complex.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(SERGEANT BENTON oversees the installation of the TARDIS in the lab and then walks up to a visitor and salutes. The visitor is dressed in a General's hat and overcoat.)
SERGEANT BENTON: Will there be anything else, sir?
GENERAL: Thank you, sergeant. That will be all.
SERGEANT BENTON: I ought to let the Brigadier know you here...
GENERAL: (Interrupting.) You will do no such thing and that's an order, sergeant.
SERGEANT BENTON: Sir, he would like to know...
GENERAL: (Interrupting.) This is a surprise inspection. I'll make meself known to the Brigadier in me own time.
SERGEANT BENTON: Very good, sir.
(BENTON salutes.)
GENERAL: Thank you.
(The General returns the salute with his swagger stick. BENTON motions to two soldiers to leave and follows them out of the lab. After they have gone, the General pulls off his face mask disguise - it is the MASTER. He takes off his hat and coat, straightens his own familiar black suit and walks round the lab inspecting the equipment. He then walks over to the TARDIS and, after checking that he is not being observed, takes a small rod-like device out of his pocket and "fires" it at the door lock. The TARDIS opens and the MASTER enters.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: INT. SICK BAY
(In his hospital bed, FILER is still in a state of delirium...)
FILER: No, we must find him! Helping them! Got to find him - must find the Master!
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(Within the TARDIS, the MASTER looks with horror over the cable-strewn console.)
MASTER: Oh no! But what does he think he's doing? What a botch-up!
[SCENE_BREAK]
15: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
(The DOCTOR is alone in the central chamber. He sits in a misshapen organic chair, sweating heavily, as he undergoes an interrogation from an image of the AXON MAN...)
AXON MAN: Lies are useless, Time Lord!
DOCTOR: Look, for the thousandth time, I tell you I am not a Time Lor...
(He is suddenly assaulted by a strong wave of energy. He writhes in pain.)
AXON MAN: We have explored the blocks the Time Lords have imposed upon your memory...and can free them. We must have the secret of time travel.
DOCTOR: Must you? Why?
AXON MAN: Soon it will be necessary to expand our feeding range - to increase the energy sources available to us. Space-time travel will give us this power.
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(The MASTER finishes his examination of the state of the TARDIS console.)
MASTER: Oh, well I suppose it...could be made to work - just possibly.
(He pulls out his laser gun.)
MASTER: Right, Doctor - don't keep me waiting, will you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
(The interrogation continues...)
DOCTOR: I refuse to align myself to this cosmic bacteria of you...
(Another energy wave tortures him...)
AXON MAN: We shall see. You have seen how Axonite can absorb the life force from a human body. Now, we have arranged for your companion to age to death...before your eyes.
(The DOCTOR sees JO before him.)
DOCTOR: Jo?
(As he watches, a series of green flashes start to age and wither the young girl. He skin starts to become wrinkled and her hair turns grey. The DOCTOR reacts with horror.)
DOCTOR: No...no...no! Argh! Argh! Stop! Stop!
AXON MAN: You will co-operate?
DOCTOR: (Desperately.) You cannot defy the laws of time. Give me a chance and I'll prove it to you.
(The image of JO alternates between being young and old.)
AXON MAN: Very well. Release her.
(The reversal of time takes place and JO returns to her normal self.)
AXON MAN: All right, Doctor - begin.
(The eye turns and stares at him...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. OFFICE
(CHINN, with clipboard in hand, is in the middle of organising the distribution of Axonite. The AXON MAN is with him as the BRIGADIER tries to influence events.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The whole question of Axonite's distribution must be shelved, until we've found the Doctor and got his report on it.
CHINN: Doctor? (Laughs.) I spotted him for a charlatan the moment I saw him. If you ask me, Brigadier, you're not going to see much of that gentleman again.
AXON MAN: (To CHINN.) Large quantities of Axonite are available for immediate distribution. Perhaps you could show me the extent of the operation.
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
VOICE OF AXOS: Concentrate, Doctor. You have only to...think the equation. The mind of Axos will do the rest.
DOCTOR: Very well.
(He closes his eyes and concentrates. His thoughts are extracted and when he opens his eyes he sees a series of mathematical equations appear on a wall.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Good, now the power requirements.
(The same process takes place again but this time the result is not satisfactory.)
VOICE OF AXOS: What is this? (Threateningly.) Remember what will happen if you lie.
DOCTOR: (Angrily.) Pure mathematics cannot lie. You'll need an immense amount of power to create a time field for anything as large as Axos.
(The calculation of the equations resumes. Again, they appear as an image on the wall.)
DOCTOR: There you are. There are your final power requirements.
VOICE OF AXOS: All data confirmed.
DOCTOR: You see - just as I told you. Far in excess of your total power capacity.
VOICE OF AXOS: Add the full power output of the Nuton complex to your figures, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, all right, but I...I fail to see what good it will do.
(He closes his eyes and thinks through the equations again.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Data confirms space-time travel possible using additional power from complex. You see, Doctor, we can call upon the additional power of the complex whenever we need it.
DOCTOR: How? You can't just walk in there and take it.
VOICE OF AXOS: On the contrary, Doctor - we can.
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. OFFICE
(CHINN looks over a map of the world and checks his clipboard. He reads the results out with satisfaction to the AXON MAN as a soldier marks the points on the map.)
CHINN: Cape Kennedy - ten units of Axonite, in transit. Washington Pentagon - five units due for take-off eleven hundred hours TMT. Ottowa - one unit, Axonite - in transit. Baikonur - ten units, ETA - twelve thirty GMT. Lop Nor...?
(He and the soldier spot the place name on the map.)
CHINN: Lop Nor - five units. Yes, well there we are. Axonite consignments on their way to every major capitol and scientific establishment in the world.
AXON MAN: Excellent.
CHINN: Thank you.
(The AXON MAN hears a message from Axos.)
VOICE OF AXOS: De-personalise. Locate and enter main reactor. Establish link to transmit power.
(The AXON MAN starts walking towards the door.)
CHINN: Yes, well, that just about wraps it up. Aren't you going to wait for confirmation of arrivals?
(The AXON MAN speaks with an effort.)
AXON MAN: I must...leave...now.
(He opens the door and walks out of the office. CHINN goes to the door and shouts after him.)
CHINN: Is something wrong? You all right?
(CHINN receives no answer. He shuts the door and goes back to his map.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: INT. SICK BAY
(FILER is still in his hospital bed but is now no longer delirious. The BRIGADIER questions him over his version of events.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You're sure of all this?
FILER: Look, I may have been sick, Brigadier, but I am not crazy. Now, the Axonite killed Winser, then the Axons turn up, clobbered me and took Jo and the Doc off.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And the Doctor said that Axonite could become a danger to the whole world?
FILER: Sure, something about "draining all energy".
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, I'm going to have a word with Chinn - not to mention our Axon friends.
(He starts to leave.)
FILER: Hey, hey! Wait for me!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Shouts back.) Lay there and rest!
FILER: Yeah...sure.
(FILER gets out of bed and calls across to the nurses.)
FILER: Will one of you, er, "Florence Nightingales" kindly get my clothes?
[SCENE_BREAK]
22: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. CORRIDOR
(The AXON MAN staggers along one of the corridors. Its head and hands are already mutating into its tentacled visage. As it moves off, the BRIGADIER walks into the corridor.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Shouts.) Hey! You there! Stop!
(He runs off in pursuit.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. ANOTHER CORRIDOR
(The Axon further mutated into its natural tentacled covered state.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: EXT. NUTON COMPLEX
(It walks along a covered walkway that connects two of the buildings in the complex. Down below in the roadway, a soldier stands on guard. The Axon monster walks down a stairway and out towards the soldier as the BRIGADIER runs up from another exit. He watches as the soldier turns and sees the approaching creature. He starts firing at it. The bullets rip through the now fully mutated monster but don't stop its progress. The soldier gives up firing and starts running but the Axon monster fires out a tentacle that shoots through the air at incredible speed, connects with the soldier and kills him in a devastating explosion. Nearby, two other soldiers stand guard on a building sign-posted "MAIN RESEARCH REACTOR". They hear the explosion and watch as the Axon monster lumbers towards them. They too start firing but again their shots have no effect. Round after round pumps into the creature but it continues its relentless pace and connects with the two soldiers - killing them with a flash and an explosion. The BRIGADIER runs up and watches as the Axon monster walks into the Reactor building.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
24: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(The BRIGADIER runs into the lab where YATES is giving BENTON orders.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Right, Benton, get your skates on.
SERGEANT BENTON: Right, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To YATES.) Where's Hardiman?
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: He's up in the control box, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, come on.
(They head towards the control box but HARDIMAN has already come down to the lab floor.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Sir George!
HARDIMAN: May I ask why your men have brought an obsolete police box into my research laboratory?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, I've no idea, er...
(He turns and sees the TARDIS on the other side of the lab.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, that's part of the Doctor's equipment...
HARDIMAN: Is it? Well, I...
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupting.) Sir George, I must ask you to check the main reactor. I'm sorry, this is really rather urgent.
(He virtually pushes him back into the control box.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
25: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LABORATORY CONTROL BOX
HARDIMAN: Very well.
(At a console next to the observation window, HARDIMAN looks over the readings.)
HARDIMAN: Yes, the readings are slightly up. What is all this?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Our Axon friend has just walked straight into the furnace of the main reactor.
HARDIMAN: What!
[SCENE_BREAK]
26: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(Within the TARDIS, the MASTER activates various controls but there is absolutely no response.)
MASTER: Oh, hopeless! Overweight, under-powered old museum piece!
(He walks to another panel and pulls some levers. The TARDIS materialisation sound echoes through the room, but it is distorted as if power levels are low.)
MASTER: Oh, no proper stabiliser...
(He pushes the levers back and walks back to the first panel.)
MASTER: Oh well, let's try again.
(He pulls a lever. There is a small explosion of sparks and smoke.)
MASTER: You may as well try to fly a second hand gas stove!
(He slams his fist down on the console, accidentally switching on the scanner which resides in one of the roundels of the wall behind him. It shows the light accelerator. The MASTER sees this and is struck by an idea. He focuses in on the mechanism in the roof of the perspex cubicle.)
MASTER: Yes...if I use that trigger mechanism, it might...
(He nods.)
MASTER: Worth a try.
(He opens the doors and walks out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
27: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LABORATORY CONTROL BOX
HARDIMAN: If the Axon walked into the reactor, he's simply committed suicide.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes.
(YATES is looking through the observation window into the lab.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Sir, look - the TARDIS door.
(They all look out and see the TARDIS's occupant exit.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The Master!
[SCENE_BREAK]
28: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(The MASTER walks to the accelerator, undoes the perspex door and walks into the machine. He starts to try to dismantle the mechanism.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
29: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LABORATORY CONTROL BOX
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Right, not a sound. Benton, get some more men. Yates, with me. Sir George, you stay here.
(The BRIGADIER and YATES start to leave the room and go back to the lab.)
HARDIMAN: Who is...
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupting.) Please!
[SCENE_BREAK]
30: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(The UNIT men creep slowly into the lab, the pistols ready. The MASTER is looking upwards at the machinery that he is trying to dismantle and fails to see their approach. They circle the accelerator cubicle and at last the MASTER sees his ambushers.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Stay right where you are!
(HARDIMAN calls out to them from the control box using the lab intercom system...)
HARDIMAN: (Into microphone.) Brigadier, a massive power surge on the main reactor.
(The MASTER uses the diversion to make a run for the TARDIS.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Stop ... !
(The MASTER turns - he has his laser gun in his hands.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Touch that thing just once and we'll blast you into pieces!
(The MASTER glares at the men but sees that he is outnumbered. He throws his laser gun to YATES.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Benton!
(BENTON walks forward and handcuffs the MASTER. As he does so, the hum of the reactor starts to increase in pitch.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What are you doing here? What are you after?
MASTER: That police box.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You wanted to steal the TARDIS? Why?
MASTER: Well, my own TARDIS is held by Axos and I needed a space vehicle to get away from this planet before it's too late.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Why bring it here?
MASTER: Well, I knew the Doctor would soon return to his TARDIS and I very much wanted to meet him - just once more. Where is he, by the way?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: The Doctor and Miss Grant have disappeared.
(The hum is growing louder. HARDIMAN enters the lab.)
HARDIMAN: Brigadier, the power build up has spread to the whole complex. The reactors could go critical at any moment - the whole place could go up.
MASTER: I'm afraid that your reactors have been taken over by the Axons.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You know these creatures - is there anything we can do? Anything at all?
MASTER: Nothing...but there may be something that...I can do.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: What?
MASTER: If, and only if, you guarantee my freedom, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Out of the question.
MASTER: Oh well, in that case...
(He turns away.)
HARDIMAN: Brigadier, if this place goes up, thousands of lives will go with it. It only wants a chain reaction for the whole place to become a gigantic nuclear bomb.
MASTER: Yes, there is that possibility.
(The BRIGADIER thinks over the matter.)
HARDIMAN: Brigadier, for heaven's sake!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To the MASTER.) Very well.
MASTER: My absolute and unconditional freedom?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes - now get moving!
MASTER: Thank you!
(The MASTER approaches BENTON and holds up his cuffed hands.)
MASTER: If you please, sergeant.
(BENTON starts to release him.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Hurry, Benton!
HARDIMAN: What can we do?
(The MASTER is freed and walks over to the console.)
MASTER: I'd like you to give me a link from the TARDIS to the accelerator so that I can get straight through to the main reactor. Now what I propose to do is this - stack up as much power as the TARDIS will take, then channel it back through the accelerator and boost it. So that instead of the gradual power build-up that Axos expects, it'll get the whole lot in one devastating surge.
(He heads for the TARDIS.)
HARDIMAN: What else can we do?
MASTER: Oh, nothing very much...
(He turns round.)
MASTER: Oh, I suppose you can take the normal precautions against nuclear blast, like, er, sticky tape on the windows and that sort of thing!
(He goes back towards the TARDIS as FILER enters the lab, sees the MASTER and points his own gun. The MASTER raises his hands.)
FILER: Now, hold it! Right there!
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Filer, no! He's helping us - we need him.
FILER: Helping? Are you crazy, Brigadier?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Probably, but we've got no choice.
FILER: Yeah, but...
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Interrupts.) Filer!
(The hum of the reactor gets louder as FILER reluctantly drops his gun and the MASTER lowers his hands.)
MASTER: Thank you.
(Again he makes for the TARDIS.)
HARDIMAN: Where are you going?
MASTER: Back into this contraption.
HARDIMAN: Why?
MASTER: Well, theoretically it should be able to store all the power generated around it, like it solar cell battery.
HARDIMAN: Are you trying to tell me you can absorb the total output of this complex in a police box?
(The MASTER smiles and nods.)
MASTER: Yes!
(He enters the TARDIS.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
31: INT. AXOS. CENTRAL CHAMBER
(The DOCTOR is still sat in the central chamber. He watches intently as Axos absorbs the energy from the Nuton complex. On one wall, behind the eye, is an image of a fluctuating wave of energy, representing the power stored to begin the journey through time.)
VOICE OF AXOS: ...percent time field capability...forty-five percent...fifty percent time field capability...
(The DOCTOR starts to get nervous and chew his fingers. The pitch of the voice of Axos increases as does a background hum within the ship...)
VOICE OF AXOS: Fifty-five percent...sixty percent time field capability. Prepare to enter time field, repeat - prepare to enter time field. Seventy percent...seventy-five...
(Suddenly the hum starts to die down. The DOCTOR looks surprised and hopeful.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Seventy percent...sixty-five percent...sixty percent...emergency! Emergency! Emergency!
DOCTOR: They're not getting the power through!
VOICE OF AXOS: Locate power failure source. Investigate possible cell damage. Evaluate, trace and restore all absorption channels. Emergency! Emergency!
(The DOCTOR takes the opportunity of the distraction. He eases himself out of the "chair" and starts to slip out of the room. The eye watches him go.)
VOICE OF AXOS: Attention! Attention! Time Lord escaping. Seal off control centre and all adjacent areas. Close all exit tracts. Surround, neutralise and retrieve when emergency is over.
[SCENE_BREAK]
32: INT. AXOS. PASSAGEWAY
(The DOCTOR makes his way down a passage filled with writhing tentacles that hang from the wall and roof. Some of them attempt to grab him but he manages to fight his way through.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
33: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(A cable stretches from the open door of the TARDIS, past YATES and BENTON and to the light accelerator. HARDIMAN looks over the console in front of the accelerator.)
HARDIMAN: Surely it can't take any more?
[SCENE_BREAK]
34: INT. TARDIS. CONSOLE ROOM
(He appears on the TARDIS scanner. Inside the MASTER intently manipulates controls.)
HARDIMAN: (On scanner.) I don't want to risk the cables.
MASTER: (Harshly.) Risk the cables, man! Risk everything - you've got to!
[SCENE_BREAK]
35: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(HARDIMAN pulls a lever back for the full power transfer. The BRIGADIER and FILER exchange a look.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
36: INT. AXOS. PRISON CHAMBER
(The DOCTOR struggles into the prison chamber. JO is still held on the floor. Within here too, the tendrils are flailing about.)
DOCTOR: Jo!
JO: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Let's get out of here while the creatures are disorientated.
(He pulls her to her feet.)
DOCTOR: Come on! That's it, come on!
JO: What's happening?!
DOCTOR: Hang on to me. Come on!
(They leave the chamber...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
37: INT. AXOS. PASSAGEWAY
(...and struggle down the passageway past more of the tendrils.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
38: INT. NUTON COMPLEX. LIGHT ACCELERATION LABORATORY
(The MASTER has left the TARDIS and stands before a unit that has one large lever. He has his hand on it. He is watched by HARDIMAN, FILER and the UNIT men.)
MASTER: Now, when I pull this handle, the enormous amount of power stored in the TARDIS will be channeled straight into Axos.
FILER: What about Jo and the Doc?
MASTER: They won't stand a chance - they will die with Axos.
(His hand tightens on the lever. The BRIGADIER jumps forward.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: No!
MASTER: (Harshly.) Either we destroy Axos or Axos destroys the world - which is it to be, Brigadier?!
(The BRIGADIER agonises, then steps back. The MASTER pulls the lever.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
39: INT. AXOS. PASSAGEWAY
(The energy surges back into Axos. Still struggling to the exit, the DOCTOR and JO are flung from side to side.)
|
Plan: A: Jo; Q: Who is being held prisoner with the Doctor? A: Axos; Q: Who is holding the Doctor and Jo prisoner? A: Chinn; Q: Who is forced to organize the worldwide distribution of axonite? A: the Master; Q: Who returns to the power complex to try and steal the TARDIS? Summary: The Doctor and Jo are being held prisoner by Axos while Chinn is forced to organise the worldwide distribution of axonite and the Master returns to the power complex to try and steal the TARDIS.
|
"Disturbing Behavior" 35th Episode of Roswell
Production Code: 2ADA13
[SCENE_BREAK]
Maria: Okay, that is freaky.
Michael: Yeah, that's pretty weird, huh?
Maria: Pretty weird, huh? Michael, have you ever even thought of the possibility that this guy more than just looks like you? Like he is you. Like your donor. Like your human side is him. Which means in some weird and twisted way, that he and his relatives are like your family.
Michael: Like Laurie Dupree.
Maria: Exactly.
Michael: It figures. I finally find a family member, and she's a complete whack job.
Maria: Whoa.
Michael: What?
Maria: Someone's in Garrison's Hardware Store.
Michael: Maria, we're supposed to be watching the sheriff's station.
Maria: I think they're having s*x!
Michael: (refocusing his binoculars on the hardware store) Whoa. Switch to Agent Duff questioning Laurie, who's staring off into space
Agent Duff: Laurie, if you help me find the man who did this, I can stop him from hurting someone else like he hurt you. But you have to talk to me. We've been at this for two days. I'm sending you back to Pinecrest, to your old room. We'll have extra security to make sure that you're safe. Tell me everything you know about who did this to you.
Laurie: They're aliens. (pause, then she starts to get frantic) Oh, no. Oh, no!
Agent Duff: What? Laurie, what? What? (looks around the room) What? What is it?
Laurie: They're back.
Agent Duff: Who's back?
Laurie: They're close. They're coming here.
Agent Duff: Who's coming here?
Laurie: I have to get out of here. She gets up and runs to the door, with Agent Duff trying to head her off
Agent Duff: No! No! Hanson!
Laurie: Aah! They're close.
Agent Duff: Hanson!
Laurie: (reaches the door and starts pounding on it) Let me out of here! Deputy Hanson and several officers run in to help Agent Duff subdue Laurie. As she is struggling with the officers, she manages to grab a paper clip from the desk and hide it up her sleeve.
Laurie: No! No! You've got to let me go! Back to Michael and Maria on the roof
Maria: (laughs) She's not actually going to plug that thing in, is she?
Michael: Go, baby, go! Yeah!
Maria: Sick, man, this town is sick. (turns her attention back tot he sheriff's station) Michael, something's happening. They watch as Laurie is led out of the station, still struggling, and strapped to a guerney. She's then loaded into an ambulance which takes off. Michael and Maria follow in the Jetta
Maria: (glancing over at Michael as he's driving) So just to put this out there, I'm assuming that we're back together again?
Michael: I'm not going to get into this relationship stuff right now.
Maria: You don't have to. Actually, I'd prefer that you didn't say anything at all. I'm just telling you that if we're chasing down some crazy girl in the middle of the night, the only reason that I'd do something so nuts is because you and I were dating again.
Michael: Whatever.
Maria: I told you not to say anything. A third car, unnoticed by Michael and Maria, falls into line behind the Jetta. Meanwhile, in the ambulance Laurie uses the hidden paper clip to get out of her restraints. She takes the guard by surprise and hits him over the head with his gun.
Ambulance Driver: What's going on back there?!? Laurie grabs the wheel and attempts to take control of the vehicle.
Ambulance Driver: (as they struggle) Hey! Hey! Hey, lady. What are you doing? What are you doing? Wait! The ambulance crashes. The Jetta pulls up behind them, and Michael rushes up to the window.
Michael: Hey, can you hear me?! Are you guys all right?! He doesn't get an answer, so he runs to the back and opens the doors. Laurie stumbles out into his arms, but freaks when she recognizes him.
Michael: Hey. Hey. (LAURIE screams) Easy! Easy! I'm not going to hurt you. We're here to help you!
Maria: We're here to help-- Laurie knocks Maria over as she takes off running. A figure wearing a ski mask gets out of the third car and starts shooting at Laurie.
Michael: (to Laurie, as he catches up to her) Get down! Get down! (to Maria) Maria, get in the car!
Maria: (as a bullet just misses her) Aah! She runs to join Michael and Laurie behind the Jetta, with bullets still flying. Michael grabs Laurie's face and forces her to listen to him.
Michael: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! (he finally gets her to look at him) Now, you can come with us, or you can stay here and get killed. Okay? Laurie nods. Michael turns to the shooter's car and holds out his hand, exploding the car's engine, as Laurie looks on in shock. As the shooter regroups, Michael opens the car door.
Michael: Come on, quick! Get in the car! Get in the car! The three teens pile into the car, as the shooter aims at them once again. Several shots hit the car as they take off with a squeal of tires.
[OPENING CREDITS]
Scene switches back and forth between the Evans home and Michael and Maria. Max and Isabel are on the phone with Michael, who has pulled over to the side of the road out in the desert. Michael and Maria are outside the Jetta, with Laurie locked inside doing her best to get out and tearing up the car in the process. As Michael fills in the Evans, Maria keeps a running tally of the items Laurie is breaking
Television: "...Sources within the county hospital say that the young girl, Laurie Dupree, became agitated while the vehicle was in motion. But what is not clear is how Laurie Dupree released herself from her protective restraints and somehow..."
Max: Where are you?
Michael: I don't know. We're about, uh, 30 miles west of Dexter.
Maria: The side mirror. One hundred bucks, not including labor.
Television: As you can see, there's an abandoned stolen vehicle here. Now, how that figures into this developing story is still unclear.
Isabel: How is she?
Michael: Who, Laurie? She's completely crazy. She tried to jump out of the car three times while it was moving, so I had to use my powers to lock her in. She's basically like a caged animal.
Maria: Sun visor. Fifteen bucks, including labor, of course.
Television: At this hour, a county-wide search for the missing girl is underway. Here is a recent hospital photograph.
Isabel: God. The whole state's going to be looking for her. You can't come back to Roswell, Michael.
Maria: (as Laurie pulls her Walkman off the dashboard) No, no, no, no, no. Now--now you're hurting all of us.
Max: We can use any information we can get about the crystals. Try and get her talking.
Michael: Oh, yeah. She's a real conversationalist.
Maria: Not the dash! Not the dash! That is a major deal to replace. Michael hangs up and turns to Maria, who gives him an exasperated look.
Maria: Do you see this?
Michael: (to Laurie) What are you doing? Meanwhile, at the Valenti house, Kyle and Tess approach Valenti who is doing some woodworking in the garage.
Kyle: Hey, dad.
Valenti: Kyle. Tess.
Kyle: What are you doing?
Valenti: What's it look like?
Kyle: I'm not sure.
Tess: He's-- he's building something. Right?
Valenti: Give the girl a prize. It's been a while since I had time to work on this. Kyle notices a piece of paper lying next to the workbench and picks it up. It's a copy of a lawsuit filed against Valenti by Grant Sorenson.
Valenti: The one thing I got plenty of now, it's time.
Kyle: (stunned) Right. Back at the Evans home, Max is studying the crystals under a microscope in his bedroom when Isabel walks in.
Isabel: Are you getting anywhere?
Max: I think we're dealing with some kind of, uh, alien bacterium... or something.
Isabel: Maybe you should ask your lab partner. She's the science whiz.
Max: I'm trying to keep Liz out of this right now. Isabel looks worried. Scene switches to the Crashdown, where Isabel, Liz and Alex are discussing the situation.
Alex: So they're driving around aimlessly with a fugitive in the car.
Isabel: No, no, she's not a fugitive. She's just... wanted by the law.
Alex: Interesting distinction.
Isabel: Anyway, they're going to be gone for a couple of days, so we need to cover for them. Sean hears the tail end of this as he walks up behind them.
Sean: Who may be gone for a couple of days?
Liz: Uh, no one. Um, Sean, we're sort of having a private conversation here, so...
Sean: Aunt Amy's flipping over M being AWOL.
Alex: Great! You want to translate that for, you know, the people that haven't served time?
Sean: Where the hell's Maria?
Liz: Uh, oh, I-- I don't know.
Sean: Well, Aunt Amy's freaked out. She wants to see you soon. Let's go.
Liz: (to the others) Okay, um...I'm going to go over there with Sean and, um, try and keep that situation over there from getting out of hand.
Isabel: Yeah, good idea.
Alex: Yeah, smart move.
Sean: (to Liz, as they're walking away) Nice top. I dig the midriff thing.
Liz: Yeah, shut up, please. Michael's outside the car talking to Laurie, who's inside ignoring him.
Michael: Laurie, I'm trying to help you, okay? I mean, just tell me if you have any family. How hard is that? Come on! You can trust me! I pulled you out of that ambulance. I saved you from the kidnappers. I mean, what else do I gotta do? (gets frustrated and honks the horn)
Maria: Michael! That's it. Let's go. I'm hungry. Let's go.
Michael: Go? Go where?
Maria: To the roadside cafe. It's the world's worst chili-cheese fries in about 100 miles, but best vanilla shakes in five.
Michael: The cops are looking for her, you know.
Maria: Listen, trust me, even the cops give the roadside a wide berth. It's strictly for us hard-core greasy spoon aficionados. As Alex and Isabel are leaving the Crashdown, they run into Agent Duff at the door.
Agent Duff: Miss Evans.
Isabel: Hello.
Agent Duff: Agent Suzanne Duff, FBI. (she pulls out her badge) Scene switches to the sheriff's station, where Isabel is in an interrogation room. Agent Duff walks in.
Isabel: Shouldn't my parents be here?
Agent Duff: You're eighteen. The law says you're an adult now.
Isabel: Well, a lawyer, then.
Agent Duff: Well, why would you need a lawyer? You're not under arrest. Let's just talk-- for a second. Sheriff Valenti knew that Laurie Dupree was missing before a missing person's report was filed. How? He won't say. He also knew how to find her buried underground in the middle of nowhere. How? He won't say. The only link I seem to find is you and your brother. You were seen during the investigation a number of times with the sheriff.
Isabel: I lost my bike that week.
Agent Duff: Oh, I know. No, I heard. And let's just say that I believe that. That still doesn't explain why you were at the crime scene with the sheriff. Isabel... what is the big secret, and why can't I be let in on it?
Isabel: I've already answered these questions for Deputy Hanson.
Agent Duff: But you lied to him. (pause) I'm not some local deputy working for a local sheriff. I'm with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. And if you lie to me, you're in deep trouble, young lady.
[Knock on door]
Agent Duff: (annoyed at the interruption) What?
Hansen: Sorry, Agent Duff.
Agent Duff: Deputy Hanson, this is not the ti--
Grant Sorenson walks into the room carrying a shotgun.
Agent Duff: Mr. Sorenson, what--what can I do for you?
Grant: I found this in the woods this morning, about a mile east of the crime scene. Michael, Maria and Laurie are seated at a table at the Roadside diner, with country music playing in the background.
Maria: (as she checks out the menu) Ah, the food that time forgot. I'm assuming that anything out of a can is a safe bet.
Laurie: (out of the blue) I have to go to the bathroom. Michael and Maria look at each other, stunned that she spokel.
Michael: Fine. Maria.
Maria: What?
Michael: Go with her.
Maria: Are you crazy? Have you ever seen that bathroom? It's one stall and a door. I'm sorry. No, thank you.
Michael: Well, if you don't, she's gonna book. (looks over at Laurie) Isn't that right? Maria sighs, puts down her menu, looks across the table at Laurie and talks to her as if she's a child.
Maria: Okay, I'm sorry. I've had it. Look. I am not your mommy, and I'm not your doctor. So there is no frickin' way that I'm gonna go in the bathroom with you and hold your hand while you potty. Look. We gotta establish a little trust, all right? You trust us, we trust you. Got it? Look, all we're trying to do is help you escape the evil aliens that wanna bury you in the woods, remember? Is there anybody else out there in the big bad world that's gonna do that for you, hmm? No. See, I didn't think so. So, look, after you answer nature's call in that toxic waste dump of a restroom, you have the choice of either a) rejoining us here at the table with a different attitude for a nice, delicious meal, or b) you can hoof it to the Mexican border. It's about 150 miles thataway. (looks over at the counter) Can we get some service, or what, hmm?
Michael: Do you think that's gonna work?
Maria: Not a chance, but it doesn't matter. The Mexican border's thataway. Meanwhile, at the DeLuca house...
Liz: I am certain Maria is fine.
Amy: Oh, she called. She went camping again.
Liz: Oh, see? I knew it.
Amy: Do you know what these are, Liz?
Liz: Long johns?
Amy: Maria's long johns. Why would Maria leave her long johns and all of her other winter gear at home if she went camping in the middle of February? (pause) Here's a theory from someone who's had several hours to muse on it. She didn't go camping. She lied to her mother, just like she lied to me the other four times she took off for days on end, each time leaving out on the open road another piece of her innocence, and my Jetta. Liz, I consider you a friend... and an extended member of this family, and I value the friendship you have with my daughter very much. But if you don't tell me everything you know about where the hell she is, I'm gonna become very violent with you.
Liz: Mrs. Deluca, she's fine. (pause) She's with Michael.
Amy: I knew it.
Liz: No. But they're just getting away, you know? They're taking in the scenery.
Sean: Yeah, of a cheap motor inn.
Liz: Sean, shut up.
Amy: All right, give me your phone.
Liz: What?
Amy: Hand it over. (Liz hands her the phone) She shut her phone off, but I'm sure she'll be turning it on to call you again. And when she does, I'll be here with you to receive that call. You can sit down. You're not going anywhere till I get my daughter back. Scene switches to Laurie strolling down the road in the middle of nowhere. The Jetta pulls up behind her. When she realizes who's in the car, she takes off running, but stops as she realizes it's useless. She then sits down on a fallen log and stares off into space as the other two get out of the car.
Maria: Laurie Dupree! Fancy meetin' you out here. So what's goin' on, huh? What's happening?
Michael: You okay?
Maria: You know what? Why don't you give those lips a rest and let me have a word with spaceboy, okay? Okay. Maria pulls Michael off to the side
Maria: Okay, you wanna get through to her? You wanna make a connection here? This is what you gotta do. You gotta tell her the truth.
Michael: Oh, forget it.
Maria: Look, you wanna know why you look like Grandpa 1935? She has the key. So, you have two choices, all right? You can let her in on the whole alien conspiracy thing and hope that it shakes something loose from the dusty corners of her brain, or you can... No. You know what? That's not gonna work, so look... You have that one option, all right?
Michael: No, no, no. What's my second option?
Maria: You're not capable of it, I promise.
Michael: Just say it.
Maria: Form an emotional bond with Laurie. (Michael shakes his head) All right, fine. You don't like that answer, then go show her the secret alien handshake.
Michael: (sighs) Okay, fine. What kind of psychobabble, Oprah crap do I gotta tell her?
Maria: I can't put the words in your mouth, Michael. It's gotta come from you. It's gotta come from your-- it's gotta come from whatever organ you have sitting in for your heart. Just go over there and tell her in your own words that she can trust you, and make sure that she feels that you're being completely, emotionally honest.
Michael: Okay, fine.
Maria: All right, you think you can handle it?
Michael: I'm not completely emotionally retarded. I have feelings.
Maria: All right, then walk 'em over there and give 'em a workout. Michael approaches Laurie cautiously, as the scene switches to the Valenti home. Jim is woodworking when Kyle walks in. He looks up and sees his son, and turns off the equipment.
Kyle: Hey, dad.
Valenti: Well?
Kyle: I shouldn't be concerned here, should I? I mean, you're not building a guillotine or something?
Valenti: Huh.
Kyle: I'm not that far off, though, am I? You're killing yourself here.
Valenti: I'm doing a little woodwork, that's all. Okay?
Kyle: What are you making?
Valenti: Baseball bat.
Kyle: Baseball bat.
Valenti: Give you one... when I'm done. Always wanted you to have a handmade bat. Thought about it when you were in Little League. I'm, uh... I'm in kind of a dark place here, Kyle. This is gonna take me a little while to work my way out of it. Okay?
Kyle: All right. Tess and I... we're still here. We're just trying to make ends meet, keep our heads above water. (pulls out the lawsuit) Well, if this lawsuit doesn't go away, we'll be in that dark place with you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene switches back to Michael and Laurie. They're both seated on the log, with Laurie staring off into space and Michael trying to get through to her.
Michael: Look, Laurie, I know a lot of people think you're pretty crazy. But the truth is, knowing everything you've been through, you seem pretty normal to me. I just want you to know that whatever you are to me-- a sister, a cousin, whatever-- you're the only family I've ever known, and I just found you. I don't... I don't want to let you go. I know you're scared to death of me, but... if you could find some way to trust me... I mean, I got all kinds of faults. And this one over here, you know (gestures to Maria) she can list them off for you if you want later on, but... the one thing I am is loyal. I will not turn my back on you. That's all I got to say. I don't know.
Laurie: (still staring off into space) You're not my Grandpa, are you?
Michael: No. But I'd like to meet him.
Laurie: Tucson. (finally looks him in the eye)Grandpa's in Tucson, Arizona. Back at the Evans home. Max has fallen asleep at his desk. As he sleeps, the crystal turns to gel and makes its way across the desk and over his outstretched arm. As Max wakes up, startled, the gel quickly slides off his arm and reverts to its crystal form. Max grabs a container and slams it down over the crystal. Scene switches back to the DeLuca home, as Liz's cell phone rings.
Amy: Uh...Uh... (trying to figure out to turn the phone on) Liz, I, uh...
Liz: What? Push the but- Amy finds the button and turns the phone on
Amy: Uh, hello?
Maria: (puzzled) Hello?
Amy: That's right. This is your mother. I confiscated Liz's phone. Where are you?
Maria: I-I'm still in New Mexico, Mom.
Amy: Oh, that's cute. Where are you?
Maria: On our way to Arizona.
Amy: Why?
Maria: We're--we're being free spirits, mom.
Amy: That means you're going to Sedona to get stoned and have s*x in the hills?
Maria: Mom!
Amy: Do you think I wasn't seventeen once? Do you think I didn't do crazy, stupid things with a really bad boy when I was your age?
Maria: Yes, I know you did, Mom -- Dad.
Amy: Let me talk to him.
Maria: No. Why?
Amy: Put him on the phone now!
Maria: She wants to talk to you.
Michael: (trying to push the phone away) What? No! Get it-- are you cra-- Hey, Mrs. DeLuca.
Amy: Michael, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully. On this glorious, rebellious, lost weekend of yours, you will take care of my daughter. You will protect her and be kind to her, and she will have fun. You will not get matching tattoos, and you will not allow her to pierce any part of her body that cannot be shown in polite company. [Sniffles] And, Michael, if you have s*x with my daughter, I will hunt you down and kill you like the mangy dog you are. Okay?
Michael: Okay.
Amy: Call me if you need bail money.
Maria: What'd she say?
Michael: [Sighs] she wants you to have fun.
Amy: (to Liz) Shut this off.
Sean: I think you should call the police.
Liz: Sean!
Sean: I'm just thinkin' about Maria. I don't want anything to happen to her.
Liz: Michael will take care of her, Mrs. Deluca.
Sean: Oh... I don't know. Guerin's a mighty shady character.
Liz: Oh...Look who's talking.
Sean: Me? I'm not shady. I'm, uh... I'm misunderstood. Sean hits Liz with a throw pillow
Liz: Stop, Sean.
Sean: What's the matter, can't handle it, Parker?
Liz: Sean, stop it.
Sean: No.
Liz: Yes.
Sean: No.
Liz: Yes.
Sean: No.
Liz: Sean... I'm not kidding. Stop.
Sean: No.
Liz: Sean! Stop!
Amy: (as a full-fledged pillow fight breaks out) Okay, okay! I need a drink here. Sit down. Please behave yourselves.
Liz: Sean! Get-- yeah! Stay down! Amy opens the door to leave and sees Max standing there with his hand up, ready to knock on the door.
Amy: Uh...Hi, Max.
Max: Hi. Uh... is... is Liz here?
Amy: You're not planning to take her across state lines, are you?
Max: No.
Amy: Then, yeah... she's here. Amy leaves as Max makes his way to the living room.
Liz: (laughing) Stop it! Come on! Stop it! Please get off of me. Get off of-- Sean, get off. Get off!
[Laughing playfully]
Liz: Will you please get off of me! Sean--what? What? Max! Um...
Max: Hi. Um...
Liz: What are you doing here? Is something wrong? (to Sean) Stop.
Max: I...I need your help with something. Science homework.
Liz: Okay. Um... I'm gonna go get my bag. Um... Okay.
Sean: Bye, Liz. Good to see you again.
Liz: Bye, Sean. You, too.
Valenti approaches Sorenson out at his campsite. Sorenson completely ignores him.
Valenti: Sorenson? Hey, listen, I, uh... I came out here to see if we could settle this thing. Uh... I admit I kinda stepped over the line with you, but... It doesn't give you the right to try to destroy my family. Hey. You could do me the courtesy of turnin' around.
Grant: (slowly turns to face Valenti, then suddenly lunges at him) Arrrrhhhh! Struggle ensues until Grant seems to turn into himself again.
Grant: Don't hit me. Sheriff, stop! What the hell you doin?!? Stop! Valenti bursts into the Sheriff's office
Agent Duff: I just got a call that you attacked Sorenson again. What is it, woodshop got you frustrated?
Valenti: I want you to put Grant Sorenson under surveillance.
Agent Duff: Thanks for your suggestion, but maybe you're forgetting you're no longer sheriff.
Valenti: He's the one you're looking for. He's the kidnapper.
Agent Duff: Does this have anything to do with his $15 million lawsuit? This is the gun that was used to fire the bullets at you, Max and Isabel. Sorenson found it out at one of his digs and he brought it to me. Sheriff, if he is a kidnapper, why would he be trying to help me solve this case?
Valenti: All right... I went to Sorenson to try to settle our differences, okay? When I approached him, he didn't recognize me. It was like he'd never seen me before. Suddenly, he lunged at me, and one minute later, he's his old self again. Now, I don't know. Maybe... Maybe he's guilty and he's innocent.
Agent Duff: A split personality?
Valenti: Grant Sorenson may have turned in the rifle, but I'm telling you... the person that jumped me earlier today is the one who fired it.
Agent Duff: Well, that's an interesting theory, sheriff, but the problem is, right now you appear to be the one with the split personality. At the UFO Center...
Liz: It looks like they're... alien versions of negleria filarae. Waterborne parasites found in the blood cells of certain species of fish.
Max: Parasites? Well, that implies they need something to feed on... like an arm.
Liz: Maybe, but you said that they didn't affect you.
Max: No. I got the feeling I didn't taste good or something.
Liz: Then they didn't react when sheriff Valenti picked them up?
Max: No.
Liz: Sounds like they're not interested in terrestrial organisms.
Max: Well, except Laurie. They formed on her grave site.
Liz: So, maybe there's something unique about her, something the parasites are looking for. (thinking) Or there could be something unique about her grave site. It's in Frazier Woods, right?
Max: Right. Liz dials the phone
Liz: Isabel. Hi. It's Liz. We need you to do something. Grant approaches Isabel at the Crashdown.
Grant: I got your message. What's up?
Isabel: I wanted to talk to you.
Grant: I hope this isn't about my lawsuit again, 'cause that lunatic sheriff just attacked me.
Isabel: No. It has nothing to do with that.
Grant: Then why are we here? I thought you told me it was over between us.
Isabel: Look, Grant... things just got so complicated, and I guess I just wish that we could go back to the beginning. As if we just met. (holds out her hand) Isabel Evans.
Grant: (shakes her hand) Grant Sorenson.
Isabel: What do you do, Mr. Sorenson?
Grant: Grant, please. I'm a geologist.
Isabel: A geologist. Fascinating.
Grant: Oh, I'm glad you think so.
Isabel: Well, I want to hear all about it.
Grant: What would you like to know?
Isabel: What are you working on right now?
Grant: I'm doing a survey out in Frazier Woods.
Isabel: Really? Tell me... What's so special about Frazier Woods?
Grant: Mm. Well... Maria, Michael and Laurie pull up in front of the Dupree home -- a palatial estate with a security gate.
Maria: Wow. Grandpa's done pretty well for himself.
Michael: You okay?
Laurie: I'm nervous. I haven't seen my grandfather for so long. Michael buzzes the intercom at the gate.
Intercom: Can I help you?
Michael: Yeah. We're here to see charles Dupree.
Intercom: Who are you?
Michael: I'm Michael, this is Maria, and this is Mr. Dupree's granddaughter, Laurie. The gate opens. As the maid opens the door, she reacts visibly when she sees Michael.
Michael: (to the maid) Hi. She lets them in without speaking. They walk in cautiosly and are approached by a gentleman coming down the hall.
Man: Laurie. Is it really you, Laurie? He stops when he sees Michael, stunned.
Laurie: Where's grandpa?
Man: Oh, my God.
Woman: (coming down the stairs) Bobby, you do remember that we have that function later this afternoon, don't you? I mean, really, you can't be trotting around the polo grounds for the whole afternoon and expect me to do all-- (she sees the group) who are-- what is it?
Laurie: Aunt Mary, I want to see my grandfather right now.
Bobby: He's dead, Laurie-- he's been dead for seven years. You were at his funeral, for God sakes. Scene fades out to commercial break. When we return, Bobby and Meredith are speaking quietly at the bar while the teens are taking in their surroundings.
Bobby: Spooky. I mean, it's just spooky.
Meredith: Oh. Typical is more like it. Daddy always did have that wandering eye. Looks like he just wandered off the marital reservation and left us all a little surprise, hmm? [louder, to the teens] Well, I love surprises. [Sighs] Carmen! Would you draw a bath and get Miss Laurie's room ready? [to Laurie] Go on, Laurie. Why don't you go upstairs? Laurie looks at Michael in confusion
Michael: It's okay. I'm not goin' anywhere. Bobby and Meredith share a "raised-eyebrow" look.
Bobby: And, uh, what is it you want, Mr...
Michael: Guerin. Michael Guerin. Look. Your daughter's been-- MEREDITH Niece. She's our niece, Mr. Guerin.
Michael: Well. Your niece has been through a pretty traumatic experience. Somebody kidnapped her. They buried her in the ground, and we think that he's still after her.
Meredith: Oh, well, that's quite a story.
Michael: Why don't Laurie's hospital records list you as the next of kin?
Bobby: What hospital?
Maria: The Pinecrest Psychiatric Institute. Brownfield, Texas. Where Laurie's been living for the past, I don't know, what... three... three years?
Bobby: Oh, well, we haven't seen our niece in years.
Meredith: Mm. So someone finally put her away, hmm? Did the aliens chase her there, too? You know, aliens are chasing our family, Mr. Guerin. Don't stay too long. They might get you, too. Max, Isabel and Liz are walking into the UFO center.
Isabel: So he has about fifty experiments going on in Frazier Woods, all of which he explained to me in excruciating detail, but the common thread through each one is the water table.
Max: What about it?
Isabel: The woods are unusual because the water's so close to the surface. In some places, it's less than three feet below ground.
Liz: You know, if the parasites really are waterborne--and that's just a theory--they might be in the water table.
Max: Yeah, but how would alien parasites get in the water table in the first place?
Liz: [at the computer screen] Okay. Uh, this is a map of the water table for the entire county.
Max: It looks like a bunch of, uh, rivers.
Liz: Yeah, that's basically it. The water flows from one area to another through, uh, a system of underground rivers and streams... [Frazier Woods appear onscreen] Frazier Woods.
Isabel: So the stream passes right underneath the grave site.
Max: Let's see the rest of that stream.
Liz: Oh, my God.
Max: What?
Liz: Do you know what that is? That's Pohlman Ranch.
Isabel: The crash site.
Liz: Yeah. The stream passes right beneath it
Max: That means that the parasites might have been on our ship.
Liz: Somebody kidnaps a girl and buries her in the ground so a bunch of alien parasites can... I mean, can do what to her we don't know, and... and then how does he know about these parasites? Is he human, or is he alien? Are these things dangerous to normal people in roswell?
Isabel: Okay. Where do we go from here, Max?
Max: I have absolutely no idea.
Liz: We need help. I wish you guys could just phone home.
Isabel: [Sighs] Wouldn't that be nice?
Brody: [walks in on them] Max, could you-- oh. Hello.
Max: Sorry. We were just, uh, using some of the equipment for a--a science project. I hope you don't mind.
Brody: Oh, of course not. Uh, can you let me know when you're done?
Max: We won't be long.
Brody: Okay. [he leaves]
Isabel: [looking after Brody] Max, didn't you say that there was an alien at the summit that reached out with his mind and possessed Brody's body?
Max: Right.
Isabel: What if that connection goes both ways? What if we can send a signal back through Brody? Agent Duff walks in on Valenti.
Agent Duff: That rifle was reported stolen by a hunter in Newcastle, Wyoming, in July, and the oxygen tanks used to keep the girl alive were stolen from a hospice in Fort Collins, Colorado, in August. And the plastic box around her head was taken from an industrial supply warehouse in Las Cruces in September.
Valenti: And?
Agent Duff: This is Grant Sorenson's work itinerary. He was in all those places at the times those items were reported stolen.
Valenti: Chalk up another one for the woodworking detective.
Agent Duff: Look, you seem to know more about this than anyone-- why, I'm not sure-- but I need to settle this case, and you want to be sheriff again. You help me close this one, and I will make it my business to get you your job back.
Valenti: I guess the bats can wait. Michael and Maria are out at the pool.
Michael: I don't like it.
Maria: What, the tile?
Michael: No. The fact that we haven't seen Laurie in three hours.
Maria: [Sighs, then looks up and sees Bobby and some guards approaching] This can't be good.
Bobby: [handing a package to Michael] This is yours.
Michael: What's this?
Bobby: $50,000.
Maria: What?
Bobby: And that's all you're going to get. You may look like our father, but we'll fight any further paternity and inheritance claims every step of the way.
Michael: I'm not here to make an inheritance claim.
Maria: Wait. How big of an inheritance claim are you talking about here?
Bobby: [to the guards] Please escort Mr. Guerin and his friend off the property.
Michael: No. Wait. Wait a minute. What about Laurie?
Bobby: We'll take care of her now.
Michael: Hey. No. You don't understand. There are people after her.
Bobby: Oh, right. The aliens. Well, we'll keep on the lookout for 'em.
Michael: [as the guards lead him away] You can't do this! The guards escort Michael and Maria to the gate.
Maria: Now what?
Michael: I don't know... But I promised Laurie I'd protect her, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Back at the UFO center
Brody: I've been put under hypnosis before. It's never helped me remember anything about my experiences.
Isabel: This would be different. I have a gift. Um... I'm a little psychic.
Brody: [looks from Max to Liz in disbelief] Come on...
Liz: You believe in aliens, but you don't believe in psychic phenomena?
Brody: I was abducted by aliens. I know they exist.
Isabel: I know my gift exists.
Max: Aren't you at least curious?
Brody: Okay. So what do we do?
Isabel: Okay. Relax. Close your eyes and clear your mind. Give me your hand. This won't hurt.
Brody: I just want to warn you, the last time I was put through this, I was a very difficult subject. I just don't want you to be too disappointed when-- Isabel touches his hand with both of hers and the result is instantaneous... they're both thrown across the room. Max runs up to Isabel, as Liz goes over to Brody.
Max: Isabel! Isabel moans...
Brody: You shouldn't have done that.
Max: Brody?
Brody: Larek. This body has not been prepared for communication. Its heart has stopped.
Isabel: [as she gets up] Oh, God. Unh.
Brody: It may restart once I've released him. What is it you want?
Max: We need your help. We think that some form of a-- a parasite was released into our earth's ecosystem when our ship crashed fifty years ago. We think they're dangerous--
Brody: When you say parasite, do you mean the gandarium from your ship have escaped into the ecosystem?
Max: I don't know. It looks like blue crystals.
Brody: Earth is in serious trouble. You must leave now.
Max: What are you talking about?
Brody: Earth has become infected. You're no longer safe there. Get off the planet now.
Max: Okay. [Brody collapses] Wait, wait, wait.
Isabel: Oh, God! Max starts to heal Brody, but Isabel stops him with a warning look.
Isabel: No, Max. Max switches to CPR instead. Brody comes to, gasping for air.
Brody: What happened?
Max: You fainted.
Isabel: I'm so sorry. I had no idea. I'm so sorry.
Max: You sure you're all right?
Brody: I think so. Scene fades out as they help Brody to his feet. The words "TO BE CONTINUED" appear onscreen.
|
Plan: A: Roswell; Q: Where did Michael and Maria flee from? A: Laurie DuPree; Q: Who did Michael and Maria help escape from the police? A: Max; Q: Who learns about the deadly parasite? A: Earth; Q: What planet was the parasite released on? A: their ship; Q: What crashed 50 years ago? Summary: Michael and Maria flee from Roswell after helping Laurie DuPree escape from the police, and Max learns that a deadly parasite was released into Earth's atmosphere when their ship crashed 50 years ago. To be continued...
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
I want you compel to forget that I ever loved him. Who is Damon Salvatore. He was a monster. Where the hell are we?
[SCENE_BREAK]
We're never getting out. There's someone else here. To get home we'll harness the power of the eclipse using a mystical relic. It's called an ascendant.
[Thwap]
Unh! Forgetting someone? Aah! I'm back. I know what Alaric is. I know what you are. You're a witch. Wait. You're from Mystic Falls? Born and raised. One of the founding families actually. Stefan could have told me there was a hunter in town.
Elena: I want my memories back. Wait. What? I want Alaric to uncompel me. Alaric!
[Gasps]
I'm not supposed to be alive. Alaric's not a vampire anymore, Elena. He's human. There's a girl you need to go see.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ELENA'S DORM ]
( Damon and Elena are staring at each other )
Damon: ( nervous ) Okay, I'll start. I know Alaric eternal sunshined our relationship out of your brain but please, please tell me it's coming back.
( Damon bounces on the balls of his feet, while Elena stares blankly )
Damon: Or at least part of it, because...imagining this exact moment is what got me through the last few months.
( Elena stares for a moment )
Elena: I'm not sure what to say.
Damon: Easy, so easy.
( Damon steps forward and grabs her arms )
Damon: Just say, that you missed me as much as I missed you.
( Elena looks up at him and slightly shakes her head )
Elena: I remember...pain.
( Elena moves her arms away from Damon. Damon looks disappointed )
Elena: I remember all the terrible things that you did to the people I care about.
( Damon looks down, trying to find words )
Elena: I honestly don't remember anything good between us.
( Damon continues to look hurt )
Elena: I thought if I saw you in person it might change everything but...
Damon: Maybe you just need a little more time.
Elena: Damon, I know that I loved you.
Damon: Yeah.
( Damon smiles )
Elena: And I know that apparently I forgave you for all of the awful things that you did.
( Damon looks down )
Damon: Yeah, w...
Elena: But I just don't remember it. I'm sorry, I just don't...feel it anymore. I'm sorry.
Damon: Yeah, um... I'm
( Damon slowly backs out of the dorm )
Damon: ( whispering ) Yeah
Elena: ( grabbing for the door ) Damon, I-I really am sorry.
( Damon moves his lips multiple times but can't find the words as the door shuts in his face )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE HOSPITAL ]
( Damon touches a bunch of buttons on Alaric's heart monitor )
Alaric: Hey. I really don't think you should be playing with all that stuff.
Damon: Keep going. We are on a roll. All the terrible things I did to people that Elena cared about. Let's see. I turned Caroline into my own personal blood juice box, I turned Matt's sister into a vampire and threatened to kill Bon-Bon a couple times.
Alaric: More than a couple.
Damon: Subjective. Sometimes, I was being funny.
Alaric: And you killed Stefan's best friend at his birthday party.
Damon: Unfortunate coincidence.
Alaric: And then you snapped Jeremy's neck when Elena said she'd never love you.
Damon: On second thought, let's focus on all the charming, heroic things you obliterated from my girl's mind.
Alaric: God, if I could take it all back, I would.
Damon: I know. And listen. Despite the fact that my long list of dastardly deeds involves killing you, I'm glad you're alive.
Alaric: Thanks, man.
Damon: Yeah.
( Damon taps hard on Alaric's shoulder and Alaric winces from the pain )
Damon: Although had you actually died a vampire instead of becoming human again, your compulsion would have gone away, and Elena would be mine again.
Alaric: Hey. Really heartfelt. Appreciate it.
Damon: Now she's stuck with only evil me memories forever and ever.
Alaric: If you kill me, I am dead for good this time. You remember that.
( Damon yanks the heart monitor off of Alaric's finger, and the monitor flatlines. Jo enters, confused by the monitor and Damon's presence )
Jo: Good morning.
Alaric: Hey. I don't know if this is a good time.
Damon: Just a heads-up, doc. You're gonna be in real high demand with a bunch of vampires who want to be human again if you could repeat that little healing trick that you did at the border with Ric last night.
Jo: Well, just a heads-up, but saving Alaric's life was a matter of a treatable death wound, perfect timing, and fear of losing the most interesting guy I've dated in a while adrenaline. One hundred percent unrepeatable, which is why you will tell no one.
Damon: She's bossy.
Alaric: Mm-hmm.
Damon: I like her.
( Damon taps Alaric, who winces in pain again )
Jo: Do you have a nice suit and a clean pair of socks?
Alaric: Uh, yeah, I think so.
Jo: Good. I'm releasing you. Hospital fundraiser's tonight. I'm making the interns go, so I need a date. I'll start your paperwork.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ SMALL ABANDONED STOREHOUSE ]
( Enzo interrogates Tripp, who is chained to a chair, while Stefan and Matt observe )
Enzo: Hello again. That was quite a mess you made at the border last night. Hit and run. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Good thing Matt here was in the neighborhood to give you a ride home.
Tripp: You brought me here?
Matt: You went after my friends. What'd you expect?
Tripp: Your friends who kill people.
Stefan: Come on, Enzo. Ask him what you want to know. Let's get this over with.
Enzo: Stefan has already made a very passionate argument in favor of snapping your neck, whereas in a surprising role reversal, I've opted for the "let's think this through, get all the information before we kill him" method.
Matt: Don't be a dick. You know, you can dry the vervain out of him, compel him to forget everything, and he'll never set foot in Mystic Falls again.
Enzo: You don't really think he's a one-man vampire busting operation, do you? Look. While Tripp tortured me for the names of your friends, I had a front-row seat to quite a few urgent phone calls and visits from mysterious right-hand men, many of whom were wearing uniforms not dissimilar to the one you've been traipsing around in. I'd just like to know what they're up to while he's here with us.
( After a beat, Stefan picks up a hammer and slams it onto Tripp's hand )
Tripp: Aah! Aah. They're doing the same thing they were when they were with me. They're tracking vampires like your friend Caroline Forbes.
Stefan: Take two hours, get the names of his men and what they know. After that, he's a liability. Get rid of him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE CAMPUS ]
( Caroline and Elena sit on a blanket on the Whitmore campus )
Caroline: You didn't feel anything?
Elena: I felt scared and guilty, and his eyes were really, really blue and pretty, but... no. I don't remember loving him.
Caroline: So you don't remember. So be it.
Elena: That's your advice?
Caroline: Well, Elena, look at your life right now. You're doing well in school, you're following your dreams, you met Liam, who also has very pretty eyes, not mention he's never killed your brother.
Elena: True.
Caroline: I mean, I just gave Stefan the friend boot. Maybe a little break from the Salvatore brothers is in the cards for the both of us. Look. McDreamy's coming. I got to go. I'll see you later.
Elena: Bye.
( Liam sits down with Elena )
Liam: So guess who came into the hospital for a shoulder arthroscopy this morning.
Elena: Hello to you, too.
Liam: Lady Whitmore, the girl from the bonfire, the one you miraculously saved from certain death and I can't figure out how. Turns out she was here on a tennis scholarship before she blew out her arm last year. Now she needs to get her cartilage cleaned out every 6 months.
Elena: You're still obsessing over that.
Liam: But here's the crazy part. She doesn't remember getting hurt in the corn maze crash.
Elena: Wow! She must have been really drunk.
Liam: I'm gonna take a look at her labs, see if she's not an alien or a super soldier or something.
( Elena laughs )
Elena: When do volunteers have access to the patient labs?
Liam: Since never, but if you rat me out, you can't be my date to the hospital fundraiser tonight.
Elena: Yeah? Well, we have to go. Jo said that it's mandatory.
Liam: Doesn't mean it can't still be a date.
( Liam kisses Elena briefly and leaves; Elena sighs, not unhappy but unsure about Liam's investigation )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ SALVATORE MANSION, OTHERWORLDLY ]
( Bonnie wakes up on a sofa, her shirt still soaked with her own blood )
Kai: Oh. Look who's awake. How do you feel?
Bonnie: Like you shot me with an arrow.
Kai: Right. Anyhoo, I have no idea how you managed to shatter the ascendant into a billion pieces, but we need to put it together before the eclipse at 12:28. You want to help? I know you're a puzzle person.
Bonnie: I don't want to help. You're a psychopath. This place is your prison. I'm not letting you out. Besides, you'll just kill me the minute we get out.
Kai: You've been through a trauma. Your memory's probably a little fuzzy right now, so you might be thinking that your magic will protect you, but all I have to do is hold your hand, and your magic suddenly becomes mine.
( Kai channels Bonnie's magic aggressively; Bonnie winces, weak from her injury )
Kai: What was that? Huh? What? You're gonna do the spell and finally get us home?
( Bonnie stabs Kai in the neck with a pen; he drops to the floor and passes out, and Bonnie scoops the pieces of the Ascendant into her bag and escapes )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ CAROLINE AND ELENA'S DORM ]
( Stefan knocks on the doorframe; Caroline looks back at him, then away )
Caroline: That's weird.
Stefan: What's weird?
Caroline: None of your business. We're not friends anymore, which means you can't just show up unannounced at my door. Good bye.
( Caroline goes to shut the door in his face, but Stefan edges in before )
Stefan: Hey, Caroline. Look. You're not safe. Tripp's men still have your name.
Caroline: So, what? You here to protect me? News flash! I don't need your protection, and more importantly, I don't want it.
( Caroline's phone rings and she answers it )
Caroline: Hey, mom. Can I call you back? I'm trying to get a piece of gum off of my shoe.
Sheriff Forbes: Actually, honey, this can't wait. Do you have any idea where Tripp Cook might be?
Caroline: Tripp? No. I have no idea. Why?
Sheriff Forbes: Because one of his men just ran me off the road, and they're gonna kill me if they don't get him back.
[SCENE_BREAK]
( Caroline is in the passenger seat while Stefan drives )
Caroline: Answer your phone, Enzo! I just... I didn't call her today, you know? I always call my mom every Saturday morning, but, no, today, I said, "screw it. I want to sleep in. I'll do it tomorrow."
Stefan: Well, don't worry. We're almost there.
Caroline: We're almost there? You said, two hours and then kill him." Do you even remember how long ago you said that? I mean, what kind of person sets a ticking clock without setting his watch?
( Caroline's phone rings and she answers it )
Caroline: Tell me that Tripp is still alive.
Enzo: Tripp is still alive, surprisingly torture-resistant but alive.
Caroline: What took you so long to answer your phone?
Enzo: My fingers were covered in blood, and the touchscreen wouldn't work.
Caroline: Just don't kill him, ok? One of his guys took my mom, so just keep your hands off of him so I can get her back, ok? Enzo, please.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ SMALL ABANDONED STOREHOUSE ]
Tripp: I thought I could make the world a better place by getting rid of them, teach kids like you to be strong, defend yourselves, but look at you. You're on the wrong side.
Matt: I'm not on the wrong side, man. My side's just really freaking complicated.
( Enzo enters )
Enzo: Update. Tripp's henchmen kidnapped the sheriff of Mystic Falls.
Matt: What?
Tripp: It's a contingency plan in case anything ever happened to me.
Matt: That's your idea of being on the right side?
Tripp: You can set the meet for the edge of town of Old Miller road. You can do the trade there. They know they'll be safe behind the border. And send Matt. They trust him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HOSPITAL, OTHERWORLDLY ]
( Bonnie limps inside the hospital and finds a supply cabinet )
Bonnie: Antibiotics. Painkillers.
( She swallows a few pills and replaces the bandage on her abdomen, almost crying from the pain. She looks at the clock as she reassembles the Ascendant - it's 10:45 )
Bonnie: An hour and 43 minutes. I can do this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE MEDICAL CENTER FUNDRAISER ]
( Liv brings bottles of champagne over to Tyler; both are in catering attire. Tyler inexpertly pours glasses of champagne, wincing as one nearly bubbles over the rim )
Liv: Seriously? You don't know how to fill a champagne glass?
Tyler: I never said I was a professional.
Liv: First and most obvious rule, they all have to be even and no slopping over the sides.
Tyler: Thank you.
Liv: For what, not firing you? I'm not even paying you.
Tyler: For letting me try to repay you.
Liv: I killed someone so that you wouldn't trigger your werewolf curse, and you think that being my bar back for a night is enough to repay me?
Tyler: Honestly, I'd rather chain myself up in a cellar and turn every month than have to wear this lame-ass tie.
Liv: Which isn't straight.
( Liv adjusts Tyler's tie )
Liv: You should take some pride in your appearance.
( Tyler stares at Liv as she walks away. At the entrance, Jo and Alaric arrive )
Alaric: So what are you, the guest of honor or something?
Jo: I won an award for a battlefield medical clamp I patented. Whitmore likes to trot me out when they want to raise money.
Alaric: So basically, you're a genius.
( Damon wedges himself between them, throwing his arms over their shoulders )
Damon: Or she has a witchy advantage. What, supposed to be a secret that she's a witch?
Jo: I don't practice, so no witchy advantage, just a lot of hard work. ( to Alaric ) Who invited him?
Alaric: He sort of invited himself, mostly to stalk Elena.
Damon: Oh, don't be cynical. I'm here to spend some quality time with my once dead, now human best bud.
( The door opens and Elena enters. Damon's face falls at the sight of Liam with her )
Damon: Who's that?
Jo: That would be Liam Davis, valedictorian, straight A's freshman year taking junior-level classes, not to mention medical royalty. Not so bad on the eyes either. Looks like he's Elena's date.
Damon: Did I say I liked you? I meant the opposite.
( Elena writes her name down for a raffle )
Liam: You know those things are rigged, right?
Elena: Is that another one of your conspiracy theories? Super soldiers take over the world to carry out vicious fundraising schemes?
Liam: Well, when you say it like that, I sound like a loser.
Elena: When I win my trip to Fiji, you don't have to come.
( They kiss )
Elena: Oh. Ok. Maybe you can come.
( Elena sees Damon staring at them unhappily )
Elena: Can you grab us a couple drinks?
Liam: Sure.
( Liam walks away as Damon approaches Elena )
Elena: Sorry. I didn't know that you were here.
( Liam returns )
Liam: Hey. Wine or beer?
Elena: You know, um, it doesn't matter, whatever you want.
( Elena fails to prevent Damon and Liam interacting; Damon shakes Liam's hand )
Damon: Hi. Damon Salvatore, Elena's ex. Nice to meet you...
Liam: Liam.
Damon: Liam.
Liam: Wait. Damon?
Damon: Damon.
Liam: As in the ex who died?
Elena: Right. Yeah, um, that is what I... What I told you. Obviously, that's not true.
Damon: It's a figure of speech. It's more kind of an emotional death. You know, it was a very messy breakup, but we're past that now, right? We're... we're in the friend stage.
Elena: Right.
Damon: Yeah.
Elena: Yeah.
Damon: So the ex meets the new guy. Heh. ( compelling ) How freaked out are you right now?
Liam: I feel a little threatened, but I think I could take you.
Damon: Confident. Pfft. Sexy.
Elena: Damon.
Liam: I'm sorry. What's going on?
Damon: Focus. ( compelling ) Go the bar, get her a Chardonnay.
( Liam walks away )
Elena: I hate Chardonnay.
Damon: I know.
Elena: What are you doing?
Damon: I'll explain on the dance floor. May I?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ SMALL ABANDONED STOREHOUSE ]
( Caroline and Stefan enter )
Enzo: Hello, gorgeous.
Caroline: What did you do to him?
Enzo: Oh, he's fine. Just a little blood loss. I think he may have an iron deficiency problem.
Stefan: Knock it off. Her mother's life is on the line.
Enzo: Hang on. Just so I'm clear. All Caroline had to do to get you to treat her with a modicum of respect, is to stop paying attention to you. Is that how this works?
Caroline: Shut up, Enzo. And did he really need 3 chains? I mean, who is this guy, the Hulk?
Stefan: Well, I didn't restrain him.
Caroline: No, but you let your sidekick Enzo do it because what could go wrong when you team up with your sworn enemy?
Enzo: Oh. That's brilliant. Of course that's why she hates you. That's how you worked her into such a state in Savannah. That's why she told you to go take a leap. She hates you because she doesn't hate you at all.
Stefan: I'm sorry. Are you still talking?
Enzo: She got a thing for you, mate. ( to Caroline ) Tell your mum I send my best.
( Enzo leaves; Caroline and Stefan share an awkward silence )
Caroline: Whatever he just said, it will never be discussed again, ok?
Stefan: Mm-hmm.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE MEDICAL CENTER FUNDRAISER ]
( Elena and Damon are dancing )
Elena: Why are you doing this?
Damon: Why? Well, because I'm an incredible dancer, and it would be a shame not to share my talent with the world. Oh. Don't worry. I didn't see you smile.
( Damon twirls her then reels her in closer )
Damon: Miss Mystic Falls. First time we ever danced. Stefan stood you up... Bloodlust issues, surprise, surprise... So I stepped in.
Elena: You're trying to stir up memories. This isn't a good idea.
Damon: I stepped in, sexy as hell, and saved you from complete and utter humiliation. Of course, you were just worried about Stefan, but there was this moment, this one moment, where everyone else fell away, and it was just the two of us.
Elena: Look. I'm here with someone, Damon. You can't just come unannounced and ruin my night.
Damon: Come unannounced? What are you talking about? I literally went through time and space to be with you.
Elena: I know, but look. Do you want me to feel guilty? Because trust me, Damon. I do, ok? I feel horrible, and I'm sorry, but I don't... I don't know what to tell you. What do you want me to say? I don't remember us.
Damon: I do, and no matter how much I missed you or how much pain I was in, I never would have erased everything we ever had. Even if I was drowning in grief, I'd rather hang on to every moment that I ever held you or every laugh that I ever heard, every shred of happiness that we ever had. I would rather spend every moment in agony than erase the memory of you.
( Damon touches Elena's face; after a moment, she pulls away )
Elena: I need some air.
( Elsewhere, Alaric observes Damon and Elena with Jo )
Jo: So that seems to be going well.
Alaric: Yeah. That's my fault. I shouldn't have compelled her.
Jo: You shouldn't mix painkillers and booze. Whatever you did for Elena, that's her choice. Remember that. No pun intended.
Alaric: I am not on painkillers. In fact, I feel awful, but I am enjoying every miserable human moment of pain.
Jo: To being powerless and mundane.
Alaric: Cheers.
( They clink their glasses and drink )
Alaric: Ahh. So I guess we are both formerly supernatural beings. Should we start a support group?
Jo: Well, technically, I relinquished my magic and put it away for safekeeping.
Alaric: I didn't know you could do that.
Jo: Let's just say I chose to remove myself from a tragically dysfunctional family, and I haven't regretted a moment of it.
( Elsewhere, Liv spots Luke )
Liv: Hey. Who let you in?
Luke: Oh. A radiologist I met at the gym. So what's the story with Tyler?
Liv: It's a short story called "mind your own business."
Luke: Liv, I'm not saying don't have fun, ok, because that's why we're here, but when the coven calls us home, they don't care if we're in love or not.
Liv: You sound like dad, and that's not a compliment.
Luke: Liv.
Liv: Have fun with your gym fling. Leave me to mine.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALL HOSPITAL, OTHERWORLDLY ]
( Bonnie continues working on reassembling the Ascendant, hurrying; she has all the pieces she brought in place )
Bonnie: Where's the last piece? Where is it? This isn't happening.
( The power shuts off inside the hospital; Bonnie walks out into the corridor, cautiously. Kai appears, holding the missing piece of the Ascendant )
Kai: Looking for this? You stole the ascendant, naughty girl. You weren't planning on using and leaving me behind, were you? You left a trail of blood in the driveway. Figured where else would you stop and play nurse?
Bonnie: Vados!
( The spell explodes glass and sends carts and debris flying at Kai. Bonnie turns and runs, trying to leave the hospital; the first door is locked but she gets out another way. She finds Damon's car and gets in; she turns the keys but the ignition won't catch. Kai appears behind her in the backseat, putting his hands around her throat. Bonnie struggles against him )
Bonnie: Aah! Unh! Get off me!
( Kai talks creepily close to Bonnie's ear )
Kai: I thought about taking the keys, but that'd be like taking the cheese out of a mousetrap, right, Bonnie? Although, you know, fun fact. Mice don't actually like cheese. Isn't that great? Shh, shh, shh. Shh, shh, shh. So we have an hour until the eclipse. It's time to go home, Bonnie.
[SCENE_BREAK]
( Damon takes a shot at the bar and gets another, but Elena takes he before he can )
Elena: I want to remember.
Damon: Well, you're a day late and a dollar short, honey?
Elena: I mean, I want to try. Knowing that there's this whole piece of my life missing, it's... it's driving me crazy, ok? So I have to at least try to get it back.
Damon: Yeah. How are you supposed to do that?
Elena: I know there's nothing we can do about the compulsion, but maybe if we unwind the memories backwards, something might trigger something, and maybe they'll all come back, right?
Damon: Yeah. Sure. Tell me what you want me to do.
Elena: Take me to the last place I told you I loved you.
( Damon smiles )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ IN A CAVE UNDERGROUND ]
( Bonnie faces away from Kai )
Kai: I brought you a present.
( Kai opens up his bag as Bonnie turns round )
Kai: Ta-da! Ms. Cuddles! Thought you might want to bring her along.
Bonnie: Thanks.
Kai: I know you think I'm a monster. I mean, I did murder or heavily maim most of my immediate family, but after a long period of self-reflection, I've come to the conclusion that I could have handled my anger better.
Bonnie: You said you wanted to get out of here... And I quote... "To give the rest of the Gemini coven an excruciating death."
Kai: I didn't mean it. Honestly, I would do anything to get my family back, and the thing I'm most scared of is trying to figure out how to live in the world again. Sort of hoping you've been a positive influence on me. You're a good person, Bonnie. You're brave, loyal, patient. I want to be more like you. ( Kai uses a high-pitched voice for Ms. Cuddles ) What do you say? Friends?
Bonnie: Let's just go home.
( Kai takes out the Ascendant and gives it to Bonnie )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ A ROAD SOMEWHERE ]
( Caroline waits in the road with Caroline as another car pulls up at the border )
Stefan: They're here.
( Stefan gets Tripp out of the car; Matt gets out the other side. Men get out of the other car, one pointing a gun at the sheriff )
Caroline: Mom?
Matt: Caroline, stop! The border.
Caroline: You're bleeding? What'd you do to her?
Sheriff Forbes: I'm fine.
Matt: Ok. Let's do this. Let her go, and you can have him.
Man with the gun: Tripp first.
Caroline: Let her go, or I'll kill you.
Sheriff Forbes: Sweetheart, it's ok. Stefan, let Tripp go.
( Stefan releases Tripp, who walks over to the men )
Caroline: He's across. Now let her go.
( The man lets the sheriff go and she walks across the border. Tripp crosses the border; he has a strange look on his face )
Matt: Are you ok?
Tripp: What's happening to me?
( A huge slice across Tripp's throat suddenly appears; he collapses as Matt watches, horrified )
Caroline: Oh, my God.
( Matt watches Tripp die as he exsanguinates; he turns toward Stefan and Caroline )
Matt: What the hell did you do?
Stefan: Wasn't me. Enzo must have turned him into a vampire before we got there.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ IN A CAVE UNDERGROUND ]
Kai: It's now or never.
( Bonnie cuts her hand and drips blood onto the Ascendant. She starts to chant when Kai abruptly grabs her arm )
Kai: Just in case you thought you'd try to go without me.
( A drop of blood lands on Ms. Cuddles; Bonnie continues chanting the spell. The Ascendant clicks as the eclipse begins overhead )
Kai: So long, 1994.
( Something goes wrong with the Ascendant )
Kai: What the hell's happening?
Bonnie: I don't know.
Kai: Keep going. Hurry.
Bonnie: I can't.
Kai: Keep going!
Bonnie: I can't. I've lost my magic.
Kai: What are you talking about? You were just doing the spell.
( Kai grabs Bonnie's arms; he looks at her incredulously )
Kai: There's nothing there. There's no magic.
Bonnie: It's so strange. I wonder if I accidentally put it somewhere. Oh, I remember now. I put it somewhere safe.
( Bonnie smirks triumphantly )
Kai: Where did you put your magic?
Bonnie: Do you remember saying you wanted to be more like me... Brave, loyal, patient?
Kai: You put it in the bear, didn't you?
( Kai turns and picks up his bag, but Ms. Cuddles is gone. Kai yells in fury )
Kai: Come on! Where's the stupid bear, hmm?
Bonnie: Oh, it's gone. I guess we're stuck here forever. Sorry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ON A ROAD AT THE MYSTIC FALLS BORDER ]
( Leaning against the hood of the car, Damon looks up at the bright stars in the sky, while Elena stands next to him awkwardly )
Elena: I don't remember being here with you that night.
Damon: Ok. What do you remember? How are you rewired?
Elena: I remember that we had to stop the travelers.
Damon: Yeah.
Elena: You had a plan, but you didn't tell anyone what you were doing, and the next thing I know, you're dead. I heard that you drove your car into the grill and then blew yourself up so that you could trigger some explosion.
Damon: There's just one little part of that story that you're missing. You got in the car with me.
Elena: What?!
Damon: I was all ready to go, and the door opens, and you jump in the car and say, "we're in this together," and you weren't taking no for an answer. That was the moment I realized you were the perfect girl for me because you were just as crazy as I was.
Elena: Ok. Tell me more. Something happy?
Damon: Ok. Happy. Well, there is a motel ice machine in Denver that's got some stories.
Elena: What else?
Damon: Well, can't forget the night of your graduation.
Elena: Well, I did, so...
Damon: Shame. Probably one of your best speeches. You in your very passionate and adorable way told me you were in love with me, and hell if you were gonna apologize for it. My favorite memory of us, oh, one that I've relived a million times over the last 4 months is this summer night that we had before you went off to college. You wanted to show me this meteor shower, so we drove out in the middle of nowhere, and the moment those shooting stars started to fall, rain, lots of rain. You were so sure it would clear, and it was just easier to believe you, and I took your hand...
( Damon takes Elena's hand and puts it on his shoulder. Elena stares into his eyes, then blinks )
Elena: This isn't working. I'm sorry.
( She turns and walks a bit away )
Damon: Hey. Maybe you just need to try a little harder.
Elena: I am trying! I get that we had an amazing life together, and I know that I loved the fact that you were reckless and probably made me feel very free, but now when I look into your eyes, I just...
Damon: What? What do you feel like?
Elena: I feel like... Like I'm looking at a stranger because I'm never gonna be able to give you what you want, because I just can't remember.
Damon: Hey. There are things you can't erase, and you know that. ( He holds her face in his hands ) Hey.
( Damon's face gets closer to Elena's; Elena pulls his hands down and Damon backs off )
Damon: Sorry.
( Elena gets a determined look and starts walking away )
Damon: Where are you going? Elena! Hey!
( Elena crosses the Mystic Falls border and starts drowning )
Damon: Elena!
( Rapid flashbacks of all the memories of Damon that Elena was compelled to forget; one stands out among the rest as Elena gags on the water in her lungs )
Damon: Elena!
( Damon grabs Elena and pulls her back to safety; she gasps for air )
Damon: Hey! What the hell are you doing? Ninety more seconds, you'd be dead. Hey.
Elena: I'm trying to undo the compulsion. It's the only way.
Damon: No, no, no, no. Hey. Listen. I would give anything for you to remember, but I'm not gonna risk your life. It's the last thing I would ever do... Even if you don't remember that. Let's get you home.
[SCENE_BREAK]
( Caroline hovers over her mom at Whitmore Medical Center )
Sheriff Forbes: This is totally unnecessary.
Caroline: You hit your head. You could have a concussion, and I know better than to trust that you're going to take yourself for a checkup back home.
( Caroline turns to Stefan )
Caroline: You can go now. We're fine.
Sheriff Forbes: Sweetheart, could you at least just check and see how long the wait is gonna be?
Caroline: Gladly.
Sheriff Forbes: Ok.
( Caroline walks away )
Sheriff Forbes: I see she's still icing you out.
Stefan: Yeah. Anyway, you want to help me fix that?
Sheriff Forbes: Sorry, Stefan. I'm her mother. I'm not allowed.
Stefan: Right.
( Caroline returns with a nurse )
Caroline: I'll be right outside, ok?
Sheriff Forbes: Ok.
( Caroline and Stefan step out into the hall; Stefan closes the door behind him )
Caroline: Please don't ask my mother for her opinions.
Stefan: You heard that?
Caroline: Yeah. I've got superhearing. I hear everything.
Stefan: Only when you listen.
( Caroline glares at him then looks away, Stefan sighs )
Stefan: Why?
Caroline: Why was I listening?
Stefan: Why do you have a thing for me?
Caroline: I don't.
Stefan: Ok. Um... Why did you have a thing for me?
Caroline: We said that we would never talk about this again, so just...
Stefan: Look, Caroline, please just talk to me. Tell me how, tell me why. Please just make me understand how it is that I missed it.
Caroline: What kind of a stupid question is that? Why did I have a thing for you? I don't know, Stefan. Maybe it's because I thought you worth having a thing for, because when I woke up as a vampire you told me that I would get through it and I did, because when I watched Elena move on with your brother I couldn't imagine why she would let anyone like you go, because you were practically my best friend, because I trusted you.
Stefan: I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not seeing it, I'm sorry for not...
Caroline: Feeling it back?
Stefan: No. I didn't say that. I... I... Look. I don't know what I felt. You know, my head was all over the place, but I am incredibly sorry for the way that I treated you.
Caroline: Yeah. Well... I know what you felt, Stefan, because even if just a little tiny piece of you felt for me what I was starting to feel for you, you wouldn't have walked away, and I don't hate you for that. I don't hate you for mourning your brother, I don't hate you for being the biggest jerk on the planet while doing so, and I accept your apology.
Stefan: But you do still hate me.
Caroline: Yes. Yeah, I hate you because if I don't hate you for ruining our friendship, then I have to hate myself for ruining it, and I think that I deserve better than that.
( Caroline walks away, leaving Stefan behind )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE DORM BUILDING ]
( Damon walks Elena back to her dorm room )
Elena: I remembered something out there, just bits and pieces, but, um... There were these stars, and then it started to rain.
Damon: When you became a vampire, part of me was thrilled because suddenly there was this possibility I could have you in my life forever, but then the other part of me was devastated because I realized you'd lost the life that you wanted to have.
Elena: It started to rain, and then what happened, Damon?
Damon: And since I've been gone, you've gotten part of that life back. You're thriving, you're happy. Yeah, sure. Maybe you'd be happy if we gave it another chance, but the truth is is... You're better off without me.
Elena: What are you talking about?
Damon: I died. You started over. I need you to live your life. Be happy. I love you, Elena. Enough to let you go.
( Damon looks down, sad; Elena continues to look at him )
Elena: It started to rain, and then what?
Damon: It got cold and muddy. You were miserable, so we got in the car and... We drove home.
( Damon turns and leaves; Elena doesn't look satisfied with this answer )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ JO'S PLACE ]
( Alaric and Jo enter Jo's apartment; Alaric moans in pain )
Alaric: Ok. Ohh. I might have to rethink this whole painkiller thing.
Jo: I need to get out of this dress and order a pizza.
Alaric: Ok.
( Alaric sits on the couch, groaning, while Jo goes into the next room and starts changing clothes. Alaric sees her shirtless; he notices a huge scar on her abdomen as she buttons up her shirt )
Alaric: Ouch.
Jo: This? Yeah I had an accident when I was younger. I lost my spleen.
Alaric: Car accident?
Jo: Actually it was less an accident and more like my brother tried to gut me with a hunting knife. Like I said, tragically dysfunctional family. I just killed the mood, didn't I?
Alaric: No, no. Let's just say, uh, we both have complicated, tragic, and dysfunctional histories. Guess we're a match.
( They start making out )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ELENA AND CAROLINE'S DORM ]
( Liam knocks on the open door and Elena turns round )
Liam: Hey.
Elena: Hey. You're still talking to me. Sorry I ran out like that.
( Liam puts a folder in Elena's hands )
Elena: What's this?
Liam: So I finally got a look at lady Whitmore's labs. Turns out they sent her home without doing the shoulder surgery because the injury doesn't exist anymore. Seems to have spontaneously healed itself, and all this after meeting your dead boyfriend tonight? None of this adds up. The only thing that's really clear is that you're not just a liar, but you're a liar with secrets, so you can tell me the truth, or I can figure this out on my own.
( Liam leaves and Elena sighs, shutting her eyes )
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS CEMETERY ]
( Damon pours some bourbon on a grave )
Damon: One for you, one for me. Cheers, Horatio Fell.
( Damon recalls the night with Elena, watching for shooting stars. In the memory, Elena smiles big and Damon smiles back, when it starts to rain )
Damon: Come on. It's time to abandon ship.
Elena: No, no, no, wait. Just give it a second. It'll clear up.
( It starts raining harder. Damon and Elena kiss )
Elena: Promise me this is forever.
Damon: I promise.
( They smile and kiss again, getting soaked in the rain. In the present, Damon raises the bottle as he stumbles toward the Salvatore mausoleum )
Damon: To optimism.
( Suddenly he sees Ms. Cuddles, sitting outside the mausoleum )
Damon: Bonnie. ( he hugs Ms. Cuddles ) You're still alive.
( Damon smiles, incredulous but excited )
[ END ]
|
Plan: A: Damon; Q: Who grabs Elena before she crosses the border? A: no luck; Q: Did Damon and Elena have any luck getting her memories back? A: time; Q: What does Damon grab Elena in? A: her dorm; Q: Where does Damon drop Elena off? A: Stefan; Q: Who does Caroline talk to about Enzo's comment? A: Tripp; Q: Who do Stefan and Caroline need to get back? A: Caroline's mom; Q: Who is in danger of being killed? A: a vampire; Q: What did Enzo turn Tripp into? A: Mystic Falls; Q: What is the name of the town? A: Sheriff Forbes; Q: Who do Stefan and Caroline take to the hospital? A: Liam; Q: Who tells Elena that he is close to knowing how the girl who was in the maze recovered so quickly? A: her blood; Q: What made the girl in the maze heal so quickly? Summary: Damon and Elena try to get back her memories with no luck, Elena gives up and crosses the border but Damon grabs her in time that she does not die. Elena only remembers bits and pieces but not enough to love Damon again. Damon decides to let Elena go while dropping her off at her dorm. Meanwhile, Stefan and Caroline need to get Tripp back from Enzo before the people who want Tripp back kill Caroline's mom. Enzo secretly turns Tripp into a vampire without Caroline or Stefan knowing. Tripp crosses the Mystic Falls border and dies, while Caroline gets her mom back. Caroline sees that they hurt her mom and along with Stefan, they take Sheriff Forbes to the hospital and while waiting for her, Stefan and Caroline talk about what Enzo said earlier (that Caroline loved Stefan and how he did not notice). They talk and Stefan apologizes for not knowing, which gets Caroline mad. Liam tells Elena that he is close to knowing how the girl who was in the maze recovered so quickly, which makes Elena alarmed since it was her blood that made the girl healed.
|
Gretchen: Yes, Rodney, I know the agreement is for two years. The truth is, I'm on dialysis. It's acute renal failure caused by sweat poisoning. Strenuous exercise could literally kill me. I'm with my doctor right now. Let me put him on.
Jimmy: Oh, come on.
(Sighs) (Indian accent): This is Dr. Patel. Look, between you and me, she's on her deathbed. I told her to cancel her gym membership just to give her a purpose in her final hours. What a tragedy to die so young having not accomplished anything in life.
Gretchen: Oh, that guy. What a pessimist. I'm gonna fight this thing! Thanks, Rodney. You've been a delight.
Jimmy: Why don't you just say, "I don't want to go to your dumb gym anymore?"
Gretchen: Because I don't want Rodney out there judging me when I don't show up for 10:00 a.m. Pilates class.
Jimmy: You've never been to a 10:00 a.m. anything.
Gretchen: My flight's soon. Can we continue this when I come back from parental purgatory?
Jimmy: Are your folks really that awful?
Gretchen: Just uptight and lame. They act like I don't have my sh1t together.
Jimmy: Those clothes aren't even fully dry.
Gretchen: I'm gonna go borrow your toothbrush.
(Edgar sighs)
Jimmy: Uh, the trash goes from inside to outside, not the other way around.
Edgar: Oh, I've been trying this recycling thing.
If I save up enough money, I can buy Ambien from this Web site.
Jimmy: Isn't the V.A. supposed to give you drugs for your... for your war brain stuff?
Edgar: I don't want to use up resources when there are vets out there with real problems.
Jimmy: You're trading soda cans for black market pharmaceuticals. That is a problem!
Edgar: Fine. I'll go talk to them.
Gretchen: And I'm out.
Jimmy: All right, just let me wash this mask off, and then we can go.
Gretchen: Oh, no, no, no. I'll just take an Uber.
Jimmy: I'm headed that direction anyway.
Gretchen: Jimmy, you're not driving me to the airport. That's ridiculous.
Jimmy: Look, I promise there will be no mushy, curbside stuff, okay? I won't even come to a complete stop. You can just tuck and roll, all right? Give me a couple of minutes.
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪ ♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪
Becca: You cheated on Paul?!
Lindsay: Shh. Don't whisper-yell at me!
Becca: How can you even live with yourself?
Lindsay: I can't! I feel so bad, I can't eat or watch any shows with adultery. That's all my shows. I'm getting nosebleeds from the guilt.
Becca: Nosebleeds?
Lindsay: Also, I lied. I can totally eat.
Woman: Ladies, please keep it down.
Lindsay: It's not fair. You don't know what it's like to yearn for the touch of another.
Becca: Jimmy tried to kiss me.
Lindsay (Loudly): What?!
Becca: But I... Oh, I said no... because I love my husband.
Lindsay: Did you want to?
Becca: I took a vow. Marriage means being in it 24/7 from the moment when you wake up in the morning, and you see that red, curly happy trail, to at night when he rolls off of you and asks if you've had your "gazz" yet.
Lindsay: He asks you after he rolls off you?
Becca: The point is, I restrain myself because I am not an animal. After this class, you are gonna come clean with Paul.
Lindsay: I can't tell him.
Becca: Lindsay, you're not gonna tell him?
Lindsay: Ow! Ow! Bec, stop!
Becca: You need me to make you tell him? You gonna tell him, Lindsay?
You gonna tell him?
Lindsay: Ow!
Becca: You know I can make you tell him, can make you!
Lindsay: No. Fine! (Whispers): Fine. Fine, I'll tell him. (Gasps)
Becca: You can continue the yoga now.
♪ I got three, four gallons of Hennessy ♪ ♪ I got all my dawgs at the V.I.P... ♪
Jimmy: Cheers. Fellows! How is it? Yeah. Are you here to see a black movie, as well?
Honey Nutz: We just call it a movie.
Jimmy: Where's Sam?
Shitstain: Had a meeting. He's on the board of the Angelino Heights Restoration Committee.
Honey Nutz: What are you doing here?
Jimmy: I like to yell out character inconsistencies, structural flaws, and keep a general humorous running commentary. This is the only place I can do that.
Shitstain: To be fair, we do like to go to Beverly Hills to see a Wes Anderson movie, so...
Honey Nutz: I like it when they clap for Bill Murray.
Shitstain: Yeah, he's funny.
Honey Nutz: Yeah, yeah.
Shitstain: Okay, he's funny.
Jimmy: I've just dropped Gretchen off at the airport, as well, so I was in the hood anyway.
Honey Nutz: Where does that bitch think she flying? We supposed to meet her ass tomorrow morning.
Jimmy: Oh, that's impossible. She's gone home for, like, a week.
Shitstain: Hey, it's Shitstain. Where are you? Oh, oh, she's here. Yeah, she's headed to the museum with her parents. Yeah, yeah, Sam tried to drag us to that. Heard the Rauschenberg pretty tight. Okay, word.
Honey Nutz: Mm. Okay, so she told you she was flying out of town?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Honey Nutz: And now she at a museum?
Shitstain: Why would she lie to you about seeing her folks? Have you met them?
Jimmy: No.
Honey Nutz: Oh, sh1t.
(Laughs)
Shitstain: Yo.
Honey Nutz: She trying to hide you!
Shitstain: It's just like Richie and Margot in The Royal Tenenbaums.
Honey Nutz: Right. sh1t.
Look, I wouldn't want to tell my mom I'm dating Draco Malfoy, either.
Shitstain: Draco.
Both: Draco!
Shitstain: That's...
(Honey Nutz laughs)
Draco! It's butter in that?
Honey Nutz: Oh, yeah, there's butter in there. Right.
Shitstain: Oh, we good, we good.
Edgar: So, for a while, I started drinking generic vodka till I passed out, but then I'd still have the same nightmares, only in the dream, I'd be drunk and way less coordinated.
Caseworker: I am so sorry, brother.
Edgar: Yeah, now I'm scared to go to sleep because I wake up super angry.
Caseworker: Sleep to rage. It's the worst. I used to tell my wife to duct-tape pillows to my hands in case I woke up swinging. (Chuckles)
Edgar: So, my roommate says that I have a serious problem, and that you guys should cover all my meds.
Caseworker: Usually, I have to turn down a lot of folks, but you seem like a perfect candidate for help. Real quick, who is this roommate?
Edgar: Oh, Jimmy. He's a novelist from Britain. He lets me live with him in exchange for cooking and housework.
Caseworker: You have a job? Tight. It can be so tough for vets to find work...
Edgar: Oh, no, he doesn't pay me.
Caseworker: Cool. So he thinks the U.S. government should cover your expenses...
Edgar: Mm-hmm.
Caseworker: while you work for free?
Edgar: Oh, no. He's my best friend.
Caseworker: Cool. Okay, very cool. Soldier, have you ever heard of Domestic Civilian Transference Syndrome By Proxy?
Edgar: Mm-mm.
Caseworker: It's my only copy, but trust me, it's highly true. You need to nip this in the bud. Tonight, you sit this so-called roommate down and you say, "Hey, man, I was in the sh1t while you were at home watching telly. If my nightmares are too scary for you, maybe you need to pay for my meds!"
Edgar: Damn straight.
Caseworker: Yeah, you tell him that.
Edgar: I will tell him that. I will! Thank you.
Caseworker: You're welcome, soldier.
Edgar (Mutters): Watching telly...
(Muttering continues)
Caseworker: Number 97.
Paul: You're home.
Lindsay: We need to talk about something. This has been eating away at me, but the fact is...
I realized I don't really know what you do all day. (Chuckles) Tell me about this... weird thing.
Paul: The recumbent?
Lindsay: Yeah! How does it work?
Paul: Well, if you really want the total experience, I can always pull out the tandem.
Lindsay: The what now?
Paul: A semi-reclined position provides broader distribution of body weight, and alas for better blood flow to the anus and testicles. Aw, heck yeah! Here's the gang! Mimi, Connor, this is my wife Lindsay.
(Chuckles) Last one to Starbucks is an uprighter! (Groans loudly)
We should let them win. Connor's life-coaching business just went under, and Mimi has impetigo. All right, here I come, Mimi. Look out.
(Bicycle bell dings)
(Chuckles)
Jimmy: Nice use of negative space.
Gretchen: What are you doing here?!
Jimmy: What are you doing here?
I just dropped you at the airport!
Gretchen: What? No, you didn't.
Jimmy: Yes, I did.
Gretchen: What?! What are you talking about? No, that was a dream you had. All right, fine. This is so dumb. So, I am waiting at the gate as they deplane the flight before mine, and all of a sudden, guess who gets off? My friggin' parents! And I'm like, "What?! I thought you guys wanted me to come visit." So dumb. Gretchen, you nerd.
Jimmy: Stop.
Gretchen: All right, I lied. But Vanessa and Fred are such a bummer! I didn't want to subject you to their passive-aggressive sh1t.
Jimmy: Right, so you packed and had me drop you off at the airport?
Gretchen: Did I really pack? I just put some damp laundry and toilet paper into a suitcase. Open your eyes, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Right, well, I have to meet the people that created this nightmare of a person.
Gretchen: Oh, I would, but we have to leave. I'm taking them to the airport.
Jimmy: I thought you just picked them up.
Gretchen: It turns out they can't stay. Dad is having emergency back surgery tomorrow at Johns Hopkins. He is having his L7 fused, and they just had a cancellation. The procedure's experimental, but Dr. Pablo's the best, and a slot just opened up. I am serious.
Jimmy: Mm. Well, I'm not leaving until you produce these monsters.
Gretchen: All right. You asked for it.
Jimmy: You're not art.
Gretchen: Jimmy? Vanessa and Fred.
Mom: Jimmy, hi.
Jimmy: Hi.
Mom: Nice to meet you. So sorry we have to run.
Dad: I'm having a surgery, Jimmy.
Jimmy: Yes. Yes, Gretchen said. Okay, good luck with that. So glad I got to meet you. So I'll see you later?
Gretchen: Uh, nah, I have a work thing. Call you tomorrow?
Jimmy: Okay.
Gretchen (Echoing): My dad's having back surgery... at Johns Hopkins. He's having his L7 fused. Dr. Pablo's the best. Back surgery... Johns Hopkins... Back surgery... Johns Hopkins... Back surgery... John Hopkins... Dr. Pablo... Procedure's experimental... experimental... experimental.
Dad: Well, they said that it's, like, all tropical plants they've got.
Mom: Oh, okay.
Jimmy: Who are you? Where's Gretchen?
Mom: Oh, look, hon. It's the guy with the accent.
Dad: That lady said we were on a hidden camera show. What channel will this be on?
Mom: Oh, I bet it's nine.
Dad: Four? No, four, right?
Mom: No. No, I bet you a week of dishes it's channel nine.
Dad: Nine?!
Mom: Nine. Nine. Nine.
Dad: Four. Four. Four.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Paul: And as I like to say, once you pedal on your back, you never go back. To pedaling normally.
(Chuckles)
(Lindsay laughs weakly)
Lindsay: This is really nice.
Paul: Well, there's more where that came from. Were you serious about seeing what I do for fun?
Lindsay: Yes.
Paul (Laughs): Well, hold on to your hat.
(Lindsay groans)
(Engine sputtering)
Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached an altitude of 75 feet. If you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the San Gabriels. Those on the left can catch a glimpse of my beautiful wife Lindsay. (Chuckles)
Darren (Over radio): Paul, you know that sub-hundred elevation is for westbound traffic only.
Paul: Roger that. Sorry, Darren. Climbing. Did you know that four American presidents were home-brewers? Can you guess? George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and...? The answer is Barack Obama! Uh... Lindsay?
Lindsay: Huh? Oh. I'm fine. Keep talking beer.
(Paul sighs)
Edgar: Jimmy, we need to talk.
Jimmy: Gretchen was so scared of me meeting her parents that she hired fake parents. Am I really Draco Malfoy?
Edgar: I just talked to the V.A., and...
Am I just some unpaid servant who lives here for free?
Jimmy: That's a concise way of putting it.
Edgar: My caseworker says maybe you should be paying for my meds.
Jimmy: Right. Listen to me, my friend. You bought into a long con. Society screwed you over, and we owe you for that. I, personally, do not owe you, but a sort of collective "we" does. And you need your meds so you can shake off some of the damage done by Cheney's fictional yellowcake uranium. So, you turn around, you go back to the V.A., and you demand your due!
(Gretchen sighs)
Fred: 15, love.
Let's go, sweetie.
Vanessa: Gretchen, your backhand has completely disintegrated.
Gretchen: Sorry, Mommy.
Vanessa: Seven years of training with Andrés for nothing. (Scoffs) Ready?
Fred: You can do it, sweetie.
Gretchen: Sorry, Mommy.
(Jimmy mouthing)
Jimmy: Hello, darling. Sorry I'm late.
Mwah. Hello. I'm Jimmy Shive-Overly. Gretchen's boyfriend.
Fred: Oh, well, hello. I'm Fred.
Vanessa: Vanessa. Please join us. In her typical way, Gretchen has told us nothing about you.
Jimmy: Ugh! (Chuckles) Milk. Gretchen... always ordering milk. Sometimes double milks. I actually sometimes wonder if maybe she drinks too much milk.
(Jimmy laughs)
Vanessa: So, Jimmy, where are you from?
Gretchen: London.
The fancy part.
Fred: And what do you do?
Gretchen: He's a novelist. Published, very well-regarded. Jimmy...
Vanessa: And, Gretchen, you're still doing that music thing?
Fred: Who's that skinny boy you represent?
Jimmy: Shitstain?
Gretchen: No! Josh Groban is who he meant.
Vanessa: How did you two meet?
Gretchen: At a fund-raiser. It was... animal-related.
Fred: Uh-huh, Gretchen does so much charity work.
Jimmy: Oh, she does love animals. Tell your mom how you got your cat.
Gretchen: Jimmy, it was so nice of you to stop by, but I know you have that meeting. I'll walk you out.
Vanessa: What meeting?
Gretchen: Movie producers. From Hollywood. They are turning his book into a movie starring Zach Braff and that woman from the show you like.
Vanessa: Scandal?
Gretchen: Yes, Scandal. Jimmy, I bet that driver has been waiting outside for a while now. You should go.
Jimmy: Okay. Nice to meet you both. Okay, none of this is true. I'm not from the fancy part of London, I'm from the bad part of Manchester.
Gretchen: Stop.
Jimmy: I am an author. Talented but wildly underappreciated. I had to follow Gretchen here today, only to witness her mother bullying her during a tennis match. You're right about her backhand, by the way... it's appalling.
Vanessa: You're telling me how to speak to Gretchen?
Jimmy: You've never spoken to the real Gretchen. The real Gretchen runs publicity for some of the biggest rap acts in town. The real Gretchen doesn't drink milk or take ballet classes. In fact, she just cancelled her gym membership so she'd have money for cigarettes.
Fred: You smoke?
Jimmy: Sure, she hasn't been to the dentist in years and lives off 7-Eleven hot dogs, but she is brave and spontaneous. And that Gretchen is so paralyzed with the fear of disappointing you that you don't actually know her at all. I feel sorry for you two. You will never know the brilliant, beautiful mess that is your daughter.
(Gretchen chuckles nervously)
Gretchen: Daddy, I...
Fred: (Sighs) Just take us back to our hotel. And... finish your milk.
Caseworker: I really wish I could help, but funds are tight.
Congress wants to pay for the war, not the casualties.
Edgar: I'm not asking for a medal or a parade, just a good night's sleep.
(Caseworker sighs)
Caseworker: Uncle! I give in. (Chuckles) I will fill out your paperwork and find the money for your meds.
Edgar: Thank you.
Caseworker: Where is it that you're living?
Edgar: Uh, Silver Lake.
Caseworker: Silver Lake. Ooh-la-la.
Hey, Jerry, bad news, you're gonna have to turn in your hook.
Jerry: But-but I use it to pick things up.
Caseworker: No, man. Stuff's gonna stay on the ground. This hipster's having bad "dweams."
Edgar: I didn't...
(Gunfire over TV)
(Knocking)
Gretchen: Why would you do that?!
My dad didn't say another word to me in the car, and now they're changing their flight so they leave tomorrow! What is wrong with you?!
Jimmy: Sorry, wouldn't you rather have a fractured, combative relationship with your parents that's based on truth than this pleasant artificial relationship based on lies?
Gretchen: No.
Jimmy: Well, then you should've been more explicit about that.
Gretchen: They're my family! I get to lie to them till I'm old and they're dead, and you don't get a vote! I would never tell your dad to read your book.
Jimmy: Yeah, because he wouldn't let you through the door 'cause you're a redhead and he's hated the lrish ever since the IRA blew up his favorite chip shop. Look, I'm sorry. Forgive me for valuing honesty.
Gretchen: This is about you controlling and bullying everybody to behave the way you think they should. I knew you were insensitive and manipulative, but you're mean, Jimmy. You're a mean person.
Jimmy: Well, at least I am a person!
(Sniffles)
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jimmy: Hey, um...
Gretchen: I'm done.
I'm tagging out.
Jimmy: What? Of-of this argument?
Gretchen: No, Jimmy. Of this. I told you I don't do relationships, and yet here we are in one. I feel... I feel like this train is speeding up, and this may be my last chance to hop off before any serious injury.
Jimmy: Speak English.
Gretchen: Good-bye, Jimmy. Sorry! You're right, I'm not a person.
(Door slams)
Paul: Those three stars are Orion's Belt.
See how he looks like a man with a club?
(Australian accent): G'day, Linds. I'm Orion, the mighty hunter.
(Both laugh)
Hmm. What was that for?
Lindsay: Nothing. Just... you. You weirdo.
(Phone chimes)
(Gasps) I'm sorry. I have to go. Gretchen needs me. Thanks for the day. Have fun with your stars.
Paul: They're everyone's stars.
(Door opens, closes)
Edgar: Where's Gretchen?
And why are you cooking?
Jimmy: It's over. Lasted longer than anyone would've guessed, huh?
Edgar: No. What happened?
Jimmy: Uh, can we not talk about it? I-I need to just... just not. (Sighs) You hungry?
Edgar: Yeah, I-I could eat.
Jimmy: No go on the pills, huh?
Edgar: (Scoffs) Nope.
Jimmy: We'll go down there tomorrow and sort it out.
Edgar: R-Really? Thanks.
Jimmy: I have no idea how to cook.
Edgar: What have you been doing all this time?
Jimmy: Just, uh, stirring ketchup in the pan.
Edgar: Okay. Okay. Um... that's a good base.
Jimmy: Yeah?
Edgar: Yeah. Uh, pinch of salt, throw it in there.
Jimmy: Pinch-pinch of salt.
Edgar: And then add a little bit of, uh, olive oil, two, three counts worth. Now stir it in. Stir it in nice and gently. Stir it. And, uh, keep stirring, keep stirring.
|
Plan: A: a visit; Q: What do Gretchen's parents pay her? A: town; Q: What does Gretchen pretend to leave? A: a random couple; Q: Who does Gretchen get to pose as her parents? A: an elaborate lie; Q: What does Gretchen concoct? A: her father; Q: Who needs a back operation? A: a back operation; Q: What does Gretchen tell the couple at the art exhibit her parents are returning home for? A: Jimmy realizes; Q: Who realizes that Gretchen used cues visible in the gallery to invent the lie? A: The Usual Suspects; Q: What movie is parodied in this episode? A: a day; Q: How long does Lindsay spend with Paul? A: Edgar attempts; Q: Who tries to get medication from the VA office? A: the caseworker; Q: Who is trying to avoid helping Edgar? A: an expensive country club; Q: Where does Jimmy follow Gretchen to? A: a strict upbringing; Q: What kind of upbringing did Gretchen have? A: a goody-two-shoes; Q: What do Gretchen's parents think she is? A: a fight; Q: What happens when Jimmy outs Gretchen to her parents? A: Jimmy's house; Q: Where does Gretchen fight with her parents? A: Jimmy's room; Q: Where does Gretchen find the ring? A: Becca; Q: Who was the ring originally bought for? Summary: When Gretchen's parents pay her a visit, she attempts to conceal them from Jimmy, first by pretending to leave town to see them, and then by persuading a random couple at an art exhibit to pose as them. She concocts an elaborate lie about them having to return home so her father can have a back operation. After she leaves Jimmy realizes, in a sequence parodying The Usual Suspects , that she used cues visible in the gallery to invent the lie. Lindsay, guilty over having cheated on Paul, spends a day with him. Edgar attempts to get medication from the VA office to help him sleep, but finds the caseworker is trying to avoid helping him. Following Gretchen to an expensive country club, Jimmy is shocked to learn that she had a strict upbringing and her parents still think she is a goody-two-shoes . Jimmy "outs" Gretchen to her parents, causing a fight with Gretchen at Jimmy's house. Sneaking into Jimmy's room, Gretchen accidentally finds the ring Jimmy originally bought for Becca. Thinking it is for her, she announces she is done with Jimmy and runs out.
|
THE MACRA TERROR
by IAN STUART BLACK first broadcast - 1st April 1967
[SCENE_BREAK]
1. OLD SHAFT
(Jamie runs along the shaft away from the Macra. Ahead of him is another Macra. He is cut off.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2. GAS CENTRE
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: Retain full pressure.
(Fanfare.)
OFFICIA: Full pressures being maintained on master control. Reserves are standing by.
(The Doctor and Polly watch on.)
DOCTOR: Let me see. Let me see.
POLLY: Doctor, what could be happening to Jamie now?
DOCTOR: I hate to think. It won't be anything very pleasant. Polly, go and see what the first dial on the control desk registers.
POLLY: Right.
DOCTOR: Hurry up.
POLLY: Full pressure.
DOCTOR: Full pressure. And the other one? Come on.
POLLY: Zero.
DOCTOR: Zero. Now I think there's only one thing for it. Plus must be made minus and minus must be made plus.
POLLY: What's the matter?
DOCTOR: The question is which is plus and which is minus?
POLLY: Ooh.
[SCENE_BREAK]
3. OLD SHAFT
(Jamie is trapped between two Macra. Gas is slowly filling the old shaft, choking Jamie as it revives the Macra. Jamie finds a crevice in the rock wall and squeezes into it.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4. PIT HEAD
(A maze of pipes emerge from the depths of the pit, and lead off into the gas centre. The Doctor inspects the pipes, tapping here and there. Officia comes out to investigate.)
OFFICIA: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: Oh, just checking.
OFFICIA: Well, I don't need your help, thank you.
DOCTOR: As you please. But, uh, I think you're going to run into trouble.
OFFICIA: Why? What's the matter?
DOCTOR: Well, according to my calculations, the pressure gauges are wrong.
OFFICIA: Don't be ridiculous.
DOCTOR: Ridiculous? Well, that's as may be. But, after all, three times three is nine, and if you divide by half of its own cubic capacity to the formula, Pi over four squared, I think you'll have to agree with me.
OFFICIA: Don't touch that.
DOCTOR: Why not?
OFFICIA: That's the... That controls the inflow system.
DOCTOR: Oh. So these are the inflow pipes, are they? That's all I wanted to know.
OFFICIA: But what are you doing?
(The Doctor begins turning taps.)
DOCTOR: Inflow. Inflow. Outflow. Inflow. High pressure. Low pressure and O-U-T spells out.
POLLY: Doctor, what are you doing?
DOCTOR: It's alright, Polly. Confusion is best left to the experts.
OFFICIA: But... Stop it! You've no idea what you're doing.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes I have. I can stand an operation on its head quicker than anyone. There! I think you'll find I've revolutionised the entire gas flow of the Colony.
OFFICIA: You must be mad. You'll be locked up.
DOCTOR: Polly, see what those dials register now.
POLLY: Right. (Reading dials.) Doctor? Something's happened to this one.
DOCTOR: What does it read?
POLLY: It's reads zero.
DOCTOR: And the other one?
POLLY: Full pressure.
DOCTOR: Good. Splendid. That means there'll be a fine old gale of fresh air blowing along the old shaft any time now.
[SCENE_BREAK]
5. OLD SHAFT
(The Macra have discovered Jamie's hiding place. One tries to grab him. Jamie lashes out at the Macra, to little effect. He is dragged from the crevice. The soft rock around him subsides.)
JAMIE: Ah! Ah! Let go! No! Let... Not yet, you're not.
[SCENE_BREAK]
6. GAS CENTRE
OFFICIA: You can do nothing. You'll only delay matters. It's a simple matter for me to reconnect the gas.
DOCTOR: Yes, I'm sure it is. But I'm sure you'd like a little help.
OFFICIA: Now stop that. You've enough to answer for already.
(He leaves to find a guard.)
OFFICIA: Guard! Guard!
DOCTOR: It's all right, Polly. I've got his keys. Lock the door.
OFFICIA: Send the guard, immediately!
POLLY: They're bound to get in sooner or later.
DOCTOR: Yes. Well, the later the better. The only thing we can do for Jamie now is to give him time. Lock the door.
[SCENE_BREAK]
7. OLD SHAFT
(Jamie struggles free from the rock. He fights at the Macra. As the fresh air slowly fills the shaft, both Macra weaken.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8. GAS CENTRE
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: This is Control. Why has the outflow of gas stopped? Gas must be pumped into the old shaft without interruption. Begin pumping immediately.
OFFICIA: (To intercom.) I need help immediately. The strangers obey nothing. They are turning taps in the wrong direction.
CONTROL: Guards have been detailed to assist you.
(Fanfare.)
OLA: (Banging on the door.) Open up in there!
OFFICIA: Keys! My keys! Where are my keys?
DOCTOR: Oh, dear. Your keys. Try, uh, in your pocket. Or on the gantry. Or over there.
OFFICIA: Look, I know you've got them.
POLLY: Doctor, the door.
OLA: (Outside.) Open up in there or we'll smash it in.
POLLY: It's going to give way.
DOCTOR: Come on, Polly. Let's get out of here.
(The Doctor and Polly move to the far end of the gas centre to another set of heavy doors.)
POLLY: No, not that way - it goes to the pits. Quick. Try that one.
DOCTOR: It's locked.
POLLY: Then use the keys. Quick, Doctor. Quick!
(The guards finally force the main doors.)
OFFICIA: Over there. Quick! Stop them before they do any damage.
(The guards rush for the pipe room door.)
OLA: Get them!
[SCENE_BREAK]
9. PIPE ROOM, LEADING FROM THE GAS CENTRE
(The Doctor and Polly struggle to close the doors.)
DOCTOR: Push, Polly! Push!
POLLY: I can't!
DOCTOR: You've got to. Come on. Together. I've nearly got it locked.
(They succeed in shutting the door to the gas centre.)
DOCTOR: There we are.
POLLY: Where are we?
DOCTOR: Well, it looks rather like a cupboard with a lot of pipes.
POLLY: Where do you suppose they lead?
DOCTOR: They must lead somewhere. Let's have a look.
POLLY: Doctor, I think these are the pipes that carry the poisonous gas.
DOCTOR: Yes, very likely.
POLLY: Well, don't you think we'd better stay here?
DOCTOR: Stay here? I'm not spending the rest of my life with a lot of old pipes.
POLLY: But Doctor...
DOCTOR: Now, come along Polly. I'm sure there's no need to be afraid. Well... well, I think there's no need to be afraid. Oh, come on. Let's find out.
(They advance along the pipe room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10. GAS CENTRE
(Officia reconnects the flow of gas.)
OFFICIA: There, that ought to do it. Let's hope we're not too late.
[SCENE_BREAK]
11. OLD SHAFT
(Jamie looks for a way out of the shaft. He examines the walls. He finds a rusty grating, and forces it open. He climbs through.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12. STOREROOM
(Jamie descends into a storeroom. He can hear chanting and clapping.)
LEADER OF CHEERLEADERS: What do you know?
CHEERLEADERS: We all know Control is right, and we must obey!
LEADER: Let them know. Let them know.
CHEERLEADERS: Let them know they're happy!
LEADER: Greet the morning with a shout.
CHEERLEADERS: Everyone up. The sun is out.
LEADER: Rah, rah, rah!
CHEERLEADERS: Rah, rah, rah! Cheer for the Colony. We're the gang that works the hardest, and we must obey. Obey Control. Ring the bell.
LEADER: Rah, rah, rah!
CHEERLEADERS: Rah, rah, rah!
LEADER: Work well.
CHEERLEADERS: Ring the bell!
LEADER: Oh, that's much better. But, we'll do it again, and this time with more feeling. Ah! And don't forget our job is to inspire the others - our brave workers who are doing such a dangerous job. All right?
CHEERLEADERS: All right!
LEADER OF CHEERLEADERS: What do you know?
CHEERLEADERS: We all know Control is right, and we must obey!
LEADER: Let them know. Let them know.
CHEERLEADERS: Let them know they're happy!
LEADER: Greet the morning with a shout.
CHEERLEADERS: Everyone up. The sun is out.
LEADER: Rah, rah, rah!
CHEERLEADERS: Rah, rah, rah!
LEADER: Oh, that's very good! That's beginning to sound like something. It still needs a bit more clarity, and I think that the girls could...
(He spots Jamie.)
LEADER: Say! how did you get there?
JAMIE: Oh, w... well, uh... I just, um... as a matter of fact...
LEADER: Oh, I see. You're one of the dancers.
JAMIE: One of the dancers? Oh, I'm afraid, uh... Aye. Aye, y... y... yes. I'm one of the dancers.
LEADER: And you got your dance ready?
JAMIE: My dance? Ah... Well, uh... Yes. Yes, it's ready.
LEADER: Well, go ahead. I'll see it now.
JAMIE: You'll see it now?
LEADER: And don't forget you have to be very good to get into the Happy Colony finals. We want something gay and cheerful.
JAMIE: Gay and cheerful?
LEADER: Have you any music?
JAMIE: Ah, no. I don't need it.
LEADER: Go ahead. We'll pick up the rhythm and clap to it. All right?
CHEERLEADERS: All right!
LEADER: Well, come on. Get on with it. We haven't got all day.
JAMIE: Oh, aye.
(Jamie starts dancing. The others clap and count moves.)
LEADER: That's very good. What do you call it?
JAMIE: The Highland Fling.
LEADER: Why do you call it the Highland Fling?
JAMIE: Because we finish the dance by flinging ourselves out the door.
LEADER: Oh, that's very good! Come on now. Rah, rah, rah!
CHEERLEADERS: Rah, rah, rah!
LEADER: Cheers for the Colony. Rah, rah, rah!
[SCENE_BREAK]
13. HALL
(Jamie has flung himself out the door and into a squad of guards. Ben is with them.)
OLA: Where did this boy come from?
LEADER: Oh, he's one of the dancers.
OLA: Nonsense. He's the escaped stranger. You there - identify him. Is this the boy you reported?
BEN: Well... Well... Yes.
JAMIE: Ben, you gave me away.
OLA: (To guards.) Tie him up. Go to the Pilot. Tell him the stranger's found. Tell him it won't be long before we get our hands on his friends as well.
BEN: Jamie, I'm...
(Ben is still struggling with the voices in his head.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14. PIPE ROOM
(In the background is the hum of machinery and the continual voice of Control.)
CONTROL: No permission for the guards to go on forbidden ground. Repeat, no permission. They are not to cover the exit to the old shaft. This is in use at this moment by Control. No one is to go near the old shaft.
DOCTOR: Shh. I hear voices. Very faint.
POLLY: I don't hear anything.
DOCTOR: Stay here a minute, Polly.
POLLY: No. Don't leave me.
CONTROL: The search for the other strangers must be carried on.
POLLY: The Controller. The voice behind the screen.
CONTROL: All guards are detailed to hunt for the Doctor and the girl. They must be taken dead or alive.
POLLY: Look! He must be there.
(The Doctor and Polly climb a ladder towards a port hole.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
15. CONTROL ROOM (THROUGH THE PORT HOLE)
(It is full of Macra. One is inhaling the gas.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
16. OUTSIDE THE CONTROL ROOM
(The Doctor and Polly observe the Macra in the Control room.)
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: This is Control. The day shift is to begin work in the emergency gas shaft. All pressures are to be maintained. The Colony cannot live without gas!
POLLY: So that's where all the gas goes.
DOCTOR: Yes. Just as I thought. These creatures would die without it.
POLLY: But how long have they been there? I mean, they weren't always in control, were they?
DOCTOR: I couldn't tell you when they were here in the first place, Polly. They're like germs in the human body. They've got into the body of this colony. They're living as parasites.
POLLY: You make it sound like a disease.
DOCTOR: Polly, that's what I think they are.
POLLY: They're in the control room. It must be like getting into the brain, mustn't it?
DOCTOR: Yes. Very likely.
POLLY: Shh. They might hear you.
DOCTOR: Now then. One system must provide them with the gas they need, and the other one must be an outflow.
POLLY: Doctor, we've got to bring the Pilot here. Then we can show him these creatures really do exist.
DOCTOR: Yes, Polly, I think it might work.
[SCENE_BREAK]
17. PILOT'S OFFICE
(Ola waits with Jamie for the Pilot to return. Ben is also there.)
OLA: (To Jamie.) Look at me when I talk to you.
(The Pilot enters.)
PILOT: Ola, a word with you. Where exactly did you catch him?
OLA: In here. In the hall, Pilot.
PILOT: I see. So, in fact, he gave himself up?
OLA: He should never have been allowed to escape.
PILOT: Are you criticising Control?
OLA: I'm criticising the running of the pits.
PILOT: But that is my job, Ola.
OLA: I know that. But were it not for my guards, this stranger would still be a danger to all of us. I am going to report to Control that there is no discipline in the pits.
PILOT: That's not the only report that Control will get!
OLA: Ever since these strangers arrived your authority in this colony has gone to pieces. They come and go as they please, and even now two of them are still missing.
(The Doctor and Polly enter.)
DOCTOR: Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Well, everyone is up bright and early. And the last two strangers are not missing after all. Oh, come now. You can't have bad temper and differences of opinion in this happy type colony. Say you're sorry, Ola. Say you're sorry, Pilot.
JAMIE: Doctor, what did ye come here for? You've walked into a trap.
DOCTOR: Good morning, Jamie. Nice to see you so well cared for.
JAMIE: Yes, but Doctor...
DOCTOR: Oh, it's all right. I've just come in to have a word with my old friend, the Pilot. Good morning, Ben. I hope you're feeling more your old self?
BEN: Yes, Doctor. I am.
PILOT: Why did not your guards arrest these strangers?
OLA: I don't know. Guards, arrest them!
PILOT: That is no longer necessary.
DOCTOR: Of course not. You can't arrest us now we've given ourselves up. That's against the rules.
PILOT: Now. You wish to see me?
DOCTOR: Yes. I do. Urgently. Come with me.
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: This is Control. Everyone is to return to work immediately. This order includes all executives. It includes the Pilot. Everyone back to work immediately.
PILOT: Well, I shall have to go.
POLLY: No, wait. You must listen to what the Doctor's got to tell you. They're only saying that because they know what we've seen.
CONTROL: At once!
DOCTOR: Pilot.
CONTROL: At once! That is an order!
POLLY: Don't take any notice of them. That's not your Controller. Those are your enemies.
CONTROL: There must be no discussion with the strangers!
POLLY: Why not?
JAMIE: Aye. What are you afraid of?
CONTROL: Arrest the strangers! That is an order! All the strangers!
(Fanfare.)
BEN: That doesn't sound like a man in control.
PILOT: (To Doctor.) What did you wish to tell me?
OLA: Pilot. You heard Control. Guards, take them all away.
PILOT: I am still the Pilot here. You will take your orders from me. Get back to your quarters.
OLA: (To guards.) Contact Control immediately. Report the Pilot!
DOCTOR: That was a very brave thing to do.
PILOT: Or very foolish. What is it you wanted to tell me?
DOCTOR: Come with me.
OLA: Pilot!
PILOT: You will all remain here.
(The Doctor ushers the Pilot outside.)
BEN: He disobeyed Control. The Pilot will be arrested.
JAMIE: No.
POLLY: Anything may happen now, Jamie. We've got to be ready to run for it.
JAMIE: We can't leave the Doctor.
POLLY: He'll be back in a minute, and Ben seems to be all right now.
JAMIE: More like the old Ben, I must admit. But you still canna...
(He looks for Ben.)
JAMIE: Where is he?
[SCENE_BREAK]
18. GAS CENTRE, PUMP ROOM
(Ben is hiding amongst the valves and instruments as the Doctor and Pilot enter the pipe room. Ben is still fighting the voices.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19. PIPE ROOM
(The Doctor leads Pilot through the doors.)
PILOT: But, Doctor. This is forbidden territory.
DOCTOR: Yes, and you'll soon see why.
PILOT: Stop! Stop! You're breaking the law!
DOCTOR: Bad laws were made to be broken. Follow me.
PILOT: But...
OFFICIA: What's happened to the Pilot, Ola? The strangers have changed him!
OLA: The Pilot is a traitor.
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: The Pilot has no more authority. Ola is in command!
PILOT: I really don't know why I trust you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Oh, perhaps I've got an honest face.
CONTROL: The Pilot is to be arrested! This is a happy colony! All must obey!
PILOT: Did you hear that?
DOCTOR: Don't give up now. It's just up here.
(The Doctor and Pilot climb the ladder.)
CONTROL: All guards to report to the pit head. They are to take orders from Ola. It is understood.
(Fanfare.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
20. OUTSIDE THE CONTROL ROOM
(The Doctor and Pilot look through the port hole into the Control room full of Macra.)
DOCTOR: There you are. That's what's taken over this colony. You haven't been in touch with Control, but with these. They've used this colony for their own ends, destroying you to live themselves.
PILOT: Why they're horrible. No, Doctor. It is they who must be destroyed. We must kill them.
(Fanfare.)
CONTROL: (Hysterically.) They're here!
DOCTOR: Let's go.
CONTROL: The Pilot and the stranger! In forbidden territory! They must be destroyed!
PILOT: So, what are they, Doctor? I mean, some monstrous form of bacteria? Insects? Or what?
DOCTOR: I don't know. But you must fight them.
PILOT: How?
DOCTOR: Take full command!
PILOT: You mean defy Control?
DOCTOR: Well, you see what Control really is.
PILOT: Yes. You're right, Doctor, they must be destroyed.
[SCENE_BREAK]
21. GAS CENTRE
(Ola and his guards wait to arrest the Pilot. The Doctor and the Pilot return from the pipe room.)
OLA: We've been waiting for you.
PILOT: Ola, the Colony is in the hands of grotesque insects!
OLA: So you've been seeing things?
PILOT: (Pointing toward the pipe room.) They're in there. The Macra!
OLA: Ha, ha, ha. You know what happens to people that say that?
PILOT: But I...
OLA: Now we can deal with you all together.
POLLY: Did the Pilot has see them?
PILOT: Yes. I saw the Macra.
CONTROL: It is forbidden to say that. Don't let him say that he has seen Macra!
PILOT: I saw you! You are the Macra!
CONTROL: Silence! Silence the three strangers! That is an order!
OLA: What shall we do with them, Control?
CONTROL: Return them to the pipe room. The three strangers and the Pilot. They are to be locked in, and you will not let them out.
OLA: Come on, get in.
PILOT: Ola.
POLLY: Doctor!
OLA: Come on. You heard Control.
(There is a struggle with the guards.)
JAMIE: Don't worry Polly, I'll look after ye.
POLLY: No!
JAMIE: Take your hands off her.
OLA: Get in!
(The Doctor, Polly, Jamie, and the Pilot are pushed into the pipe room.)
CONTROL: You have done well, Ola.
OLA: What instructions, Control?
CONTROL: Clear the building. Guards and workers are to return to the hall for music.
OLA: I obey, Control.
CONTROL: It will take precisely four minutes, and then it will be safe for everyone to return to work. Four minutes.
(Ola and the guards leave the gas centre.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
22. PIPE ROOM
POLLY: Why four minutes?
JAMIE: Aye, what can they do in four minutes, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I don't know. We must be ready for anything.
(The gas can be heard filling the pipe room.)
JAMIE: It's a gas! It's coming in here.
DOCTOR: Pilot, do you know where it's coming from?
PILOT: Why, no. I've never been here before.
DOCTOR: There must be a hidden inlet.
CONTROL: You will not be able to fight it. You cannot stop it.
POLLY: Doctor, I'm getting dizzy.
(The Doctor hands Polly a handkerchief.)
DOCTOR: Polly, hold that in front of your mouth.
(They begin choking as the gas pours in.)
JAMIE: It's coming from over here, Doctor!
DOCTOR: You're right, Jamie!
PILOT: It's coming from here as well!
CONTROL: You are unable to stop it.
DOCTOR: Polly?
CONTROL: It will not last long. Only for four minutes. By that time, you...
POLLY: Come on! Let us out!
CONTROL: ...will be completely helpless, not quite dead, helpless.
(Someone knocks on the door.)
BEN: (From outside.) Hello in there.
POLLY: Who is it?
BEN: Ben.
DOCTOR: Ben? Is that you? Are you all right?
BEN: Can you open the door from your side?
DOCTOR: No.
BEN: But it's locked. There isn't a key.
DOCTOR: Ben, listen. We've got very little time. It's all up to you.
BEN: Go ahead Doctor. Tell me what to do.
DOCTOR: Go to the control desk, and you'll see two switches, one marked outflow and one marked inflow.
BEN: Hang on.
[SCENE_BREAK]
23. GAS CENTRE
(Ben goes over to the control desk.)
CONTROL: The other stranger has recovered. He is now dangerous! He will no longer obey Control. The fourth stranger is trying to help his friends. He is no longer one of us. He must be stopped at once!
BEN: I've got them, Doc. Two switches. What next?
[SCENE_BREAK]
24. PIPE ROOM
DOCTOR: Good. You see a lever in front of them?
BEN: Yeah.
CONTROL: It is forbidden to touch that instrument! You must not obey the Doctor! You will kill us all! He intends to create an explosion!
[SCENE_BREAK]
25. GAS CENTRE
CONTROL: Come away from those instruments! You will destroy the Colony!
BEN: Oh, shut up. Okay, Doctor. Fire away.
CONTROL: Guards! Stop the stranger!
[SCENE_BREAK]
26. PIPE ROOM
DOCTOR: Switch on both inflow and outflow.
CONTROL: No! Stop! The pressure will be unbearable! Oh, the human beings as well...
DOCTOR: Switch them on, Ben. Then stand by to throw the lever.
CONTROL: You are to give no such order!
[SCENE_BREAK]
27. GAS CENTRE
BEN: Inflow on. Outflow on. Okay, Doc. Ready with the lever.
(The guards are returning.)
BEN: Quickly, Doctor!
[SCENE_BREAK]
28. PIPE ROOM
DOCTOR: Throw the lever away from you.
CONTROL: No! No! Don't let him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
29. GAS CENTRE
(Ben throws the lever. The sudden back pressure is too much for the gas system. Pipes burst and explode.)
CONTROL: No!
[SCENE_BREAK]
30. COLONY ENTRANCE
(A festival is taking place. There is music, people are singing and dancing. Jamie does his Highland Fling to the delight of the colonists. The Pilot steps up to address the crowd.)
PILOT: My first duty is to thank the strangers, for they have saved our Colony.
(The colonists cheer.)
PILOT: A dance festival will be held every year in their memory, and the winners will be awarded the Strangers' Trophy.
(This is greeted by more cheering and applause.)
BEN: Where's the Doctor?
JAMIE: Why, he's right over there.
BEN: Well, I've got a tip-off he'll wanna hear.
(The Doctor is enjoying himself. He is sitting in the midst of a group of girls and has borrowed a majorette's hat.)
BEN: Hey, Doctor? Doctor?
DOCTOR: Relax. Relax. More haste, more waste. Pleasure is beautiful.
BEN: Relax? You wait till you hear what they're going to do with you.
DOCTOR: Oh, well. Ha, ha, ha.
BEN: Yeah, I just heard it on the grapevine. They're going to draft us as members of the Colony, and make you the next Pilot.
(The Doctor stops laughing.)
DOCTOR: They can't do that to me. Let's get out of here.
BEN: Yes, but how?
DOCTOR: Take a leaf out of Jamie's book. Give them the old dance routine.
(The Doctor, Polly, and Ben enthusiastically join in with Jamie's dancing, slowly edging closer to the door.)
|
Plan: A: Macra; Q: Who do the Doctor and Polly save Jamie from? A: the Pilot; Q: Who do the Doctor and Polly try to show who is really in charge of the colony? Summary: The Doctor and Polly manage to save Jamie from the Macra and then try to show the Pilot who is really in charge of the colony.
|
As a surgeon, we are trained to repair the damage.
Meredtith: I'm in a hurry. I can not stay. The leader organizes a big meeting. But I wanted to warn you that it's over this therapy. The breaking point is where we started ... to work.
Dr. Wyatt: Meredith, this is not over. You've worked hard. Look where you are, you scratch the surface.
Meredith: Derek moved and move on to the next step.
Dr. Wyatt: He's not Derek.
Meredith: I'm happy.
Dr. Wyatt: It's not finished.
Meredith: I'm happy, this is the point?
Dr. Wyatt: No. But in our lives, the breaking point is a sign of weakness ...
Dr. Wyatt: You have to stay.
Meredith: No, the meeting, the chief ... Thank you, Dr. Wyatt.Thank you for everything. And we will do everything to avoid it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Izzie: Wow!
Derek: Oh, sorry
Izzie: What are you doing here?
Derek: It will be my new office when you're gone.
Izzie: When I am gone? And when?
Derek: Oh ... soon
Izzie: You knew that Meredith wanted to move?
Alex: I'm a little busy here, Iz.
You can join us?
Izzie: No!
GHS
Alex: When you say we had planned to move?
Derek: When you had planned to tell them to move?
Meredith: What? Why should they leave?
Izzei: Meredith, I did that for you.
Derek: It's a zoo. A community, Alex and his courtship of women.
Izzie: Parades of bitches.
Alec: I am looking for an apartment then?
Meredith: I know I have to think
Izzie: Eat the muffin, Wed Taste it. Do not forget the muffin.
Meredith: I love my roommates.
Derek: I love them too. This was your life. This is our life And I'm excited to build our lives together. Come on, it will be great.
Meredith: So Derek and Izzie wants Alex to move.
Cristina: Since when you do everything he says.
Meredith: I'm happy.
Cristina: They will not like ... But you do what you want.
Hahn: Hey, you've heard about the new rules?
Mark: From what I heard, you were holding hands while chatting late into the night.
Hahn: Excuse me?
Richard: Listen to all.
Mark: You mean the new rules of the boss. I thought you were talking about you and Torres. I am in error
Richard: We're very busy so I'll be brief. I set up a new protocol at Seattle Grace. Will the new rules and other former to be revised.
Cristina: Jack O'Brian, 47, must be operated for an aneurysm of the abdominal aorta. The last scan showed calcification So I asked a scan angiography to assess whether his condition had worsened or not.
Hahn: Good shot Yang. You can get off after visits.
Richard: Dr. Karev cares. Dr. Yang, you're done here, thank you.
The internal first, second and third years will not be able to specialize. This practice interferes with the development of a complete surgical teaching.
Meredith: Barry Patmore, 63 ... Suffering from recurrent headaches for 7 years. It is treated with narcotics and anti epileptics. And antipsychotics but without success.
Derek: How is the pain today, Mr. Patmore. From one to ten? Mr. Patmore; Eight. It's always eight
Derek: The last consultation suggested a bilateral cingulotomie.
Cristina: A frontal lobotomy for a headache?
Mr. Patmore: Too loud. Please. You can stop this noise is needed these devices?
Derek: Mr. Patmore has severe pain every day
Meredith: But cingulotomie can cause seizures, cognitive or behavioral problems.
Derek: That's why we will explore all options. Before embarking on radical surgery.
Mr. Patmore: More tests?
Derek: Yes
Richard: Dr. Yang, you will assist Dr. Shepherd today. Relations, dedication and personal preferences will no longer be a criterion of the program. Holders bring their education to all residents. We will focus our attention on communication and behavior with patients. For some, it means an effort of humanity and compassion. For others, means learning to treat patients while avoiding being too involved emotionally.
Izzie: Shelley Boden, 30, in a stage 4 colon cancer with liver metastases. Shelley has undergone chemo and radiation at high dose. And according to the scan, a liver resection at this stage could be beneficial.
Shelley: It will.
Bailey: You have questions? -What happens if you find more cancers?
Shelley: No, Jenn. A: it will not happen and B: Izzie has already been answered 3 times.
Jenn: Izzie is not the chief of surgery
Shelley: Izzie is great. We love Izzie.
Richard: Here Dr. Grey.Elle will prepare you for the operation and answer your questions.
Shelley: Izzie does not stay? This is a surgical program. Psychiatry is the 5th floor. Do not mix the two. Also, I talk to the owners, your house is your own reflection. If they fail, you fail. If they succeed, you succeed.This applies to holders with respect to internal. Teach with enthusiasm. Teach with enthusiasm. We are surgeons. We cut our malignancies. It starts now ...
Richard: O'Malley, here is Dr. Bennett Epstein. It will be your proctor now. You're ready, O'Malley?
George: Oh, yes Mr.
Richard: You have exactly three hours. When it starts, you can not leave. - Good luck, O'Malley.
George: Thank you, Mr. I can do. I am not married and I do not deceive my wife with my best friend. All is well.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Alex: f*cking chair. Not move. Looks like it's the wheel.
-It's always the same with me my f*cking toaster last month, then my cat has crossed my porch and collapsed. The image of my TV is green.
Alex: I'll take another one. -No need, I'll walk it is less risky.
Alex: No, Mr. O'Brian, stay in this chair. It is the regulation of hospital.
Mr. O'Brien: I had three car accidents last year.
Alex: Mr. O'Brian! I need a stretcher!
Richard: Mr. I'm so sorry.
Mr. O'Brien: I banged my head.
Ricahrd: I'm really sorry. OK, do a scan, I want a report every hour.
Alex: Yes, Mr.
Richard: Everything will be fine. Mike, my ceiling is leaking.
Mike: A pipe farted. We'll have to shut off the water.
Richard: No, it's a surgery here. We need water to clean equipment and keep people alive. Fix this by keeping the water.
Mike: I'll try.
George: Right? There's a kind of leak in the room.
Richard: No kidding.
George: Would not another place to take the exam? I can look myself. Thank you, Mr.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hahn: We have a problem. Mark Sloan has blown.
Calie: Mark has been known for a lease, I told him.
Hahn: It's Mark Sloan!
Calie: You have no one to confide in?
Hahn: You're the only person I say this. And I like having my privacy ... Especially with respect to ... Mark Sloan.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jenn: How long does the surgery?
Meredith: At least two hours.
Jenn: It could be longer?
Meredith: In case of complications or discoveries of new metastases
Shelley, It will not happen Jenn ...
Jenn: But if ...
Shelley: Jenn, stop! Mom and Dad called and told them two hours. Since the diagnosis of my cancer, my sister talking about it and it's much worse than cancer. I do not know you yet, tell me.
Meredith: Talk about what?
Shelley: Anything, please, before it asks you the description of my liver. Please.
Meredith: You want the story of my idiot boss or my idiot boyfriend? Shelley's boyfriend! The boyfriend of course.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Derek: OK, Mr. Patmore. I will give you different pulses to see the waves generated. Remove your hands from your eyes.
Derek: OK, you are still eight?
Mr. Patmore: It's still eight.
Cristina: We start the visual stimuli.
Derek: At my place, you would have them go ... The roommates. I am not unreasonable ... - The pulse slows. But you have to admit, you want them to go. At my place, you would have them go? If it works, I'll let the trepanning.
Cristina: Well, I want them to leave.
Derek: I knew it. OK, Mr. Patmore. It will change your position.
Lexie: Dr. Yang, I think I have an idea.
Cristina: Do not think so, be sure and will look for the lab results.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Meredith: Izzie and Alex made cakes is handy.
Shelley: OK, when I have more cancer and that I could go out with a sexy doctor. That upsets me and wants to live with me. I forget the cakes and crafts.
Meredith: Oh, watch out for 12 hours!
Derek: For your guidance, Cristina think they should go, talk to him.
Shelley: You did not mention his hair.
Meredith: Yeah, the hair ... One of the many things that make me happy.
Lexie: Dr. Sloan, I worked with Shepherd on a patient with pain, and I read this article in helping George to revise ...
Mark: Pathetic.
Lexie: Yes, I'm pathetic but I read this article I have a photographic memory. And the chief highlights the internal with the new program ...
Mark: Grey birth.
Lexie: He needs an ear, nose. You are not ear-nose?
Alex: How are you Mr. O'Brian?
O'Brian: Not too bad. My brain could be saved by my ears.
Alex: It's spiritual. A few more minutes, stand firm.
Izzie: Look what I found ... a nice apartment with wooden floors. A fireplace where you can make cool fires. And I can not pay me. So ... If you wanted, we could live together?
Alex: No, thank you.
Izzie: I told you about the flooring and the fireplace?
Alex: I'd rather live in my single car.
Izzie: Okay.
Richard: How it will Karev? It is good for the prosecution?
Alex: There was no image yet, but ... not. This guy is not of such prosecution.
Richard: Hopefully.
O'Brian: hey? eh?
Richard: I do not know how to apologize you, treat him like a king. You hear, Mr. O'Brian? Dr. Karev will take good care of you. You are a top priority today. Are you?
Brian O 'God hates me.
Alex: Mr. O'Brian, I'm ...
O Brian: My wife left me, my accountant steals. The store where I worked burned. I found an aneurysm that must be operated in a hospital that looks ... To collapse around me.God hates me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Bailey: We can easily identify tumors that remain here.
Meredith: The liver looks good.
Bailey: That's the beauty of surgery. You know, evil surrounded the property. We cut the evil and all is well. Just you and your scalpel, face to face, mano a mano ... OK, that's how my enthusiasm for teaching. Oh no ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Richard: O'Malley
George: What!
Richard: If you finish your test ... The hospital is flooded, the scan is laid up. I have a waiting list for my patients post op and pre op. I have overcome all this before patients are discovering And we descend below the rank 12.
-I found a very quiet room to spend your psychological exam.
Richard: Oh, I see. Go ahead.
George: Right. I am still your house today. I can help.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Mark: Dr. Shepherd, one word.
Derek: Excuse me one second
Mark: I can do a quick test on your patient?
Derek: He suffers a lot. There is no need for abdominal surgery.
Mark: It's fun. No, Dr. Grey has had an interesting idea. And unlike you, I take seriously the new chief of protocol, and I listen.
Lexie: I read something on the swelling and compression of the ethmoid nerve. I think if you put a lift in his nose ...
Cristina: Excuse me ... In his nose?
Mark: If Dr. Grey is right, the patient will tell. Mr. Patmore, I'm Dr. Sloan. Chief of plastic surgery and ENT. I would like to make a quick test if you may.
Mr. Patmore: I saw ENT 16, none could help me. Breathe normally. I'll get this from this angle. Tell me if you feel ... Pain or other ...
Mr. Patmore: That's it! This is pain! That's what causes the pain! Oh, my God!
Mark: anterior ethmoid neurovascular complex. A simple turbinectomy fix it. Unless you still want to take out his little brain.
Derek: Well done.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Shelley: How did it go?
Bailey: Hi Shelley ... Metastases are much more extensive than what the scan showed, and the tumor developed in and around the main blood vessel behind the liver.
Jenn: We'll just start chemo. That's all I have already called your oncologist. That's him. I come back.
Bailey: You can manage your pain. I'm sorry for not having better news.
Shelley: So you took ... a decision for your roommates?
Meredith: I'm sorry, Shelley.
Shelley: Go. Your boyfriend is a sexy good move in bed?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hahn: Listen ... We even know where we stand. Why Mark Sloan knows? Why do you say to him ... Instead of me?
Mark: Ladies. I interrupt?
Hahn: You're not alone. Really?
Mark: You were going to junk?
Calie: Stop, you must stop.
Mark: I am unable.
Calie: Seriously, she hates it.
Mark: That's why I can not. You want a spanking? I ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Meredith: You told Derek that I should turn?
Cristina: No. No, I .. I shall sketch them but not you. And I just said it because I got drunk.
Meredith: So I have to do it? Because I think I will. This is adult stuff, no?
Cristina: What does your shrink?
Meredith: I dropped the shrink. I am happy, we're happy.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Lexie: Hey, I can sit? George! George, how did it go?
George: There's a problem of water leakage. I'm just trying to help the leader. Even if all my medical knowledge flow from my ear.
Lexie: Eat it, it's good for the brain.
Alex: And the guy with the aneurysm? He fell into the water, hit her and got stuck in the scan.
Meredith: My patient is dying. I hate seeing my loved ones die.
Lexie: Our patient is living with pain. With a current of 8 for 7 years. Because of an inflamed nerve in his nose, it's crazy.
George: I wish I had an inflamed nerve in the nose This guy can not live with an eight.
Cristina: It's a wimp. His eight is a three for me, I bear the pain.
Meredith: You can not talk to my boyfriend 10 minutes.
Cristina: There's pain and torture ... And I endure the pain, go test me. Nothing.
Alex: It's impressive
George: Shut up! You've barely touched. Ouch!
Meredith: Stop.
Cristina: How did you diagnosed this nerve because I have never heard of that?
Lexie: I remembered an article in the British journal of ENT.Number 47, page 19, 1964. Photographic memory
Alex: sh1t! Lexipédia.
George: I hate you.
Lexie: Do not hate me, I can help you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Bailey: What about the flood?
Ricahrd: This is not a flood, Bailey. It is a tube that has ... This is a minor. Do not worry. You're not going for surgery?
Bailey: Yes, Mr. Head, a few months ago, Tuck dropped a small toy in the toilet. And I thought it was okay ... But I found myself in a kitchen flooded with water and sh1t.
Richard: In the sh1t?
Bailey: In my kitchen, Mr.
Richard: Thank you Dr. Bailley, but everything is under control.
Bailey: Yes, Mr.
Richard: In the sh1t ...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Izzie: There's a leak, and the leader wants to put all the pre op in the clinic. Who will help me? Ouch!
Alex: And this threshold to pain?
Izzie: You know what, turns me on. Not me, just him.
Alex: She loves me more.
Izzie: I make cakes and cleaning. The only thing you bring is the grime. What is the List Meredith? A chocolate cake or an STD ...
Cristina: Water! Oh, my God, are everywhere. What happens, come. Notify the head.
Richard: Post-op in rooms 2415. Pre-ops in rooms 5 and 2233.4. The flood reached the clinic.
Bailey: Head?
Richard: I control the situation here, but I need oversight Stevens with pre-op clinic.
Bailey: Maybe there should be close. Send patients to Mercy West Seattle Press. They can fix the pipe and it will be up and running quickly.
Richard: I send my patients to dry I just left two open blocks, maintenance has isolated the broken pipe. So thank you Dr. Bailley. But when I say that I control ... this is the case.
Bailey: Mr. hose may be isolated, but a lot of water has escaped. I mean ...
Richard: Dr. Bailey, the clinic!
Bailey: Yes, Mr. I will make.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Lexie: OK, then.
George: Wait, you're sure to have the time?
Lexie: I really want you to pass your exam.
George: Thank you.
Mark: Grey? You have bad taste in guys, but you're not useless. The case of Mr. Patmore is very rare ... And you found it. You can operate!
Lexie: Now? You operate now? With the flood ...
Mark: The flood is under control, our patient suffered for seven years, see you in surgery.
Lexie: I can not. I'm sorry but, uh, I'm busy. I support the Head ... Finally, the internal head. - Thank you, may be another time?
No, Lassie. Will there be a next time Pathetic.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cristina: Mr. Patmore, I'll do a blood test and put a topical decongestant before the operation.
Mr. Patmore: Of course.
Cristina: How is the pain now?
Mr. Patmore: Eight. It is always eight.
Cristina: You seemed to get better.
Mr. Patmore: I spent 7 years ... I saw 39 doctors ... And I tried all painkillers and nothing worked. I had doctors who told me that it's psychological. I was crazy ... I was mistaken for a junkie. My wife died last year. Having spent years lead me from one doctor to another, test after test, then she died ... This was my best friend. My favorite person. And she died ... And I felt nothing. I did not feel this pain because I was too busy with this one. And now I know what's wrong And Dr. Sloan will fix it.So you're right. I feel relief.
Cristina: OK, do this blood test.
[SCENE_BREAK]
O'Brian: I would not, I will not have surgery. It will be painful.She'll cut in half and probably kill me. If it kills me not, it will still horribly wrong. Probably that become infected. I want to do
Alex: Look, you're afraid, but to live, you must be operated.
O'Brian: If I want to live? You have not been paying attention?
Alex: My girlfriend has become crazy after a phantom pregnancy, she has earned the wrists when I was there, it had to be interned. My roommate wants me out, I can not pay bail.So with luck, I may become homeless.
O'Brian: You invent it to make me feel better?
Alex: Look, you have to live for a purpose. Or even the possibility for that to happen.
O 'Brian: There's this girl at the grocery store. I want to say hello. But I ... I ask only articles.
Alex: Okay, well do you operate. It may be that the wheel turns in your favor. It's science. This is ... this is statistical. The wheel will turn. And then ... Tell her hello.
O'Brian: You tell him hello.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Izzie: Chips?
Cristina: Chocolate?
Izzie: Thank you.
Cristina: What?
Izzie: You're not a horrible person.
Cristina: OK.
Izzie: We rarely agree but ... I found this awesome apartment. It is opposite the hospital. Super bright. I know you have the means then there is no Burke ... It must be awful to live in his old apartment. Think about it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Hahn: You can remove a little more if you want a better view.Be sure to hold the small intestine inside. Let us avoid a post-op ileus.
Alex: That would be better. This guy is sure to be pursued by bad luck.
Hahn: It is in melodrama. What's this?
Alex: What?
Hahn: What is ...?
Bailey: Hey, clear, clear the patient!
Alex: What?
Bailey: Move the patient!
Hahn: Oh, my God! Everybody all right? How's the patient?
-It is stable.
Hahn: All right, we clean.
Bailey: I can help?
Hahn: Go tell the chief what happens. We need another block.Close all blocks except this one and that of Dr. Sloan. Karev, Sloan find. It has just begun, it may perhaps stop Everybody helps me. We'll move Mr. O'Brian.
Alex: What I say to Sloan?
Hahn: The sky is falling on us!
Mark: Nasal Speculum and xylocaine. Speculum largest and xylocaine.
Cristina: You look only?
Derek: I am a pain specialist and I want to miss it. So yes I'm just looking.
Cristina: Do you use it more than me to try to influence it. It is not a team with Meredith.
Alex: We need the block. We need the block!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ricahrd: On a patient?
Bailey: Yes, Mr.
Richard: He collapsed?
Bailey: Your team is not injured, but the patient's abdomen was opened. I think it is stable.
Ricahrd: Dr. Bailey, spread the word We close the surgical department and sending patients to Mercy West and Seattle Presbyterian ...
Bailey: Yes, Mr.
Richard: And, Dr. Bailey. Do not brag when you leave.
Bailey: I do not boastful M.
Hahn: Other damage, it's bleeding somewhere?
Derek: No, no blood, I cleared the bottom left upper quadrant.
Mark: Pass me the irrigator.
Alex: Dr. Hahn, look over there. The pancreas is due to damage?
Hahn: No, no ... This is a tumor.
Alex: Let sh1t.
[SCENE_BREAK]
You're the shrink?
Wyatt: Yes.
Cristina: You can not let it stop.
Wyatt: Let me guess ... Cristina?
Cristina: She talks about ... whatever. You can not let it stop because I can not take longer than having to give my opinion. I support ... Then you are my last hope. I mean ... it's your job.You are paid for advice?
Wyatt: Yes
Cristina: OK, so ... It is eight in his life. His pain ... Every day, his pain is eight. And he not seize it. He moves in and wants to turn his roommates? It shows how he understands it not, because it needs them. Then you should tell him not to fire them! It will not work over the long term, and be happy but she thinks it's wrong. It's your job to tell him!
Wyatt: It must be painful for you ... Leaving Meredith to Derek.
Cristina: You're a terrible shrink.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jenn: I speak with the oncologist
Shelley: No
Jenn: There is a clinical trial with chemotherapy and Avastin.And there ...
Shelley: You're not a doctor. Stop talking to me like a doctor.
Meredith: Did you call me?
Shelley: Yes ... because ... I'm dying and I want to stay without knowing what you decided. You look very serious ... Oh, my God. You will break up with him? Not that. I'm dying and you leave everything to the wind. No way. It's not fair ... It's not fair ... It's not fair ... It's not fair!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Alex: Dr. Hahn will speak to you in a few minutes.
O'Brian: How did it go? Well?
Alex: Actually, not really, the flood brought down the ceiling of the block. The ceiling collapsed, scattering pieces in your incision. So we had to explore the abdomen, more carefully than expected. And found a malignant tumor on your pancreas
O'Brian: Cancer? You found a cancer?
Alex: Wait. Listen, listen, let me explain. We sent the tumor pathology. It's just a stage. Only stage 1. One never senses of pancreatic tumors so early. When the diagnosis, it is often already condemned. But not for you. Was removed the whole tumor. We removed. You will not even need chemo. This ceiling ... You saved my life. Your luck has turned. She turned!
O'Brian: I'll say hello ... this girl. I'll say hello.
[SCENE_BREAK]
George: Right. Head? Chief, I downloaded the analyzes and radios of your patients on DVD, and I joined your records.There's something else I can do?
At Joe's
Lexie: How did it go? I know ... e'm pathetic. George and ignores me, and I missed the operation and bah blah, blah.Tell me just how was the surgery?
Mark: We have not performed the operation. Mr. Patmore was sent to another hospital. And he will suffer more this time tomorrow. Photographic memory, huh? Periodic, go!
Lexie: Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon, sodium, magnesium, aluminum, silicon, phosphorus, sulfur ... I can continue.
Calie: It can burn wood?
Cristina: You see? This is what I prefer. Do not you anymore.Look at that, it's fantastic.
Izzie: What do you think?
Cristina: Thank you! This is a great apartment!
Callie: We love it.
Cristina: I love it. It's really nice Izzie, thank you.
Izzie: Are you kidding? You're kidding, right? Cristina, you're kidding me? I'm getting kicked out of my house, and you think I made this announcement to you I asked you to move in with me.
Cristina: Oh, sorry ...
Izzie: Oh, yes
Cristina: I'm ... wow ...
Izzie: hilarious.
Cristina: No, I'm sorry.
Calie: I, I go to the bar.
Izzie: You know what? You're just ... Give me the announcement ...
Cristina: I have already paid the deposit, sorry, you should have been clearer.
Izzie: Well, you know what? Well, the guard. All is well, you know. All going well! Thank you.
Callie: You're kind of quiet but not me, I say out loud what I am.And I'm too invested in my marriage. I can not ... No question of making the same mistakes. And Mark is my friend ...
Hahn: I guess I hate him because he saw you naked.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Meredith: What was the purpose? All those hours and money?It was used for what? The world is horrible. Young people are dying of disease. It's crazy to be happy in a world so horrible.
Wyatt: Yes
Meredith: What?
Wyatt: Yes, horrible things happen. Happiness face all this ...This is not the goal. Feel what is horrible and knowing that will not die despite it. That's the goal. And you have not done You've made progress because you feel things and you tell me. There's six months, you would have been alone with a bottle of tequila. My door is always open.
The bones break ... The bodies explode ... The flesh is torn ...
Meredith: Are you okay?
Izzie: You know, I'm happy for you. Really, for you and Derek And glad to see you move. I know not why I person ... I have nobody.
Meredith: It's not true, Iz. This is not true. We can sew the flesh, repair the damage ... Relieve pain.
Derek: I found the vintage martini of your mother.
Meredith: This is my family. You can not believe I'll turn my family. And do not tell them where most catch me. And not going to try to rally Cristina at your side. This is my family I have them. You and them.
Derek: I would like to talk about it when you're ready. But for now, OK.
Meredith: So you still love me? But when life breaks down ... When we love ...
Derek: Yes. There is neither science nor preconceived rules. We should just go there, and a surgeon, there is nothing worse or no better
George: You're sure Mr.? the day was long.
Richard: It's one thing to make a speech. But if I want our program to be the best, and I want it. It starts here, and with me. I have done nothing against the flood. But I can give you a chance O'Malley, You've earned it. - Ready?
George: Yes Mr.
Richard: You have three hours. Here we go ...
|
Plan: A: Webber; Q: Who is reluctant to remove patients until a ceiling tile falls on one? A: any patients; Q: Who does Webber not want to remove until the ceiling tiles collapse? A: a surgery; Q: What was the patient undergoing when the ceiling collapsed? A: Meredith; Q: Who treats a bubbly girl with liver cancer? A: Meredith quits therapy; Q: What does Meredith do? A: her life; Q: Meredith tells Dr. Wyatt that she doesn't need therapy anymore because what is fine? A: a meeting; Q: What does Webber hold with all of the doctors? A: the new teaching system; Q: What does Webber explain to the doctors? A: their old specialties; Q: Webber shakes up all of the doctors' cases, taking them off of what? A: Alex; Q: Who is worried when his patient breaks hospital policy? A: hospital policy; Q: What is broken when Alex's patient is injured? A: a CT scan; Q: What machine was the patient electrocuted on? A: the machine's electrics; Q: What was damaged when water leaked onto the CT scan machine? A: Cristina; Q: Who helps Derek with a man in constant pain? A: Meredith's opinion; Q: Who does Derek try to use to sway? A: George attempts; Q: Who tries to retake his intern exam? A: more water leaks; Q: Why can't George retake his intern exam? A: an apartment; Q: What does Izzie ask Cristina to rent with her? A: Erica; Q: Who explains to Callie why she doesn't want Mark to know about their relationship? Summary: Water leaks appear in the ceiling throughout the hospital's surgical floor but Webber is reluctant to remove any patients until ceiling tiles in an OR collapse onto a patient during a surgery. Meredith quits therapy, explaining to Dr. Wyatt that she doesn't need it anymore and that her life is fine as it is. Webber holds a meeting with all of the doctors and explains the new teaching system. After the meeting, he shakes up all of the doctors' cases, taking them off their old specialties and putting them on to new ones. Alex worries when, during his watch, his patient breaks hospital policy and is injured. Things get worse when the patient is electrocuted during a CT scan when water leaks onto the machine's electrics. Meredith treats a bubbly girl with liver cancer and is devastated when the cancer is discovered to be worse than it seemed. Cristina helps Derek with a man who is in constant pain but gets annoyed when Derek tries to use her to sway Meredith's opinion. George attempts to retake his intern exam but can't because of more water leaks. Derek attempts to make Izzie and Alex move out, which drives Izzie to ask Cristina to rent an apartment with her, but Callie and Cristina assume she was giving it to them. Erica explains to Callie why she doesn't want Mark to know about their relationship.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Daniel's grave. Mother! She ripped his heart out. All the dark deeds I've done poisoned my heart. Who do you want found? My daughter. Your lilith might be the one who keeps Ms. Swan on her dark path. Your parents are monsters, Emma. They banished me and threw you in a wardrobe. She wants revenge. Marian... she's my sister Zelena. She's pregnant.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(The Evil Queen's carriage goes back to the castle. The Evil Queen sees a group of people on her land.)
Regina: Stop the carriage.
(Regina and her father get out of the carriage.)
Regina: Good day, citizens. Enjoying the meadow?
Pastor: Indeed. It seemed perfect for our wedding ceremony.
Regina: It is lovely. But see, the thing is, these are part of the royal lands, and I don't recall giving you permission to marry here.
The groom: We didn't know. We had just... Uhh!
(Regina rips the heart of the groom.)
All: Oh!
Henry: Your majesty. Could you be overreacting because of what day it is?
Regina: Don't talk to me about this day, daddy.
Henry: But you need the support of your citizens, your majesty. To alienate them would be short sighted and weak.
Regina: I'm not weak! I was going to spare you, but someone just made me angry.
(Regina crushes the groom's heart.)
Regina: Next time there's a wedding, book the church... Make your way home. I have someplace to go.
(Regina leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Daniel's grave.)
Regina: Mother.
Cora: It's been too long.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ New York ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Regina and Robin have a drink in a bar.)
Regina: So...
Robin: Yeah.
Regina: So you moved on... With her.
Robin: That's not fair. You understood. You agreed.
Regina: Understanding it and seeing it are different.
Robin: That's hardly the most important point here. My son. Zelena's not gonna keep wearing that glamour, and Roland's not gonna understand where his mother's gone. For him to lose her again...
Regina: A forgetting potion. Just take him back to before the fake Marian showed up. He'll lose time, but it's better, right?
Robin: Yes. Thank you... God, poor Marian... And Zelena... Just killing her like she meant nothing so she could play out this sad farce with us. I just... I wanna... But I can't. I mean, I-I knew that things didn't feel right, but I just didn't know why.
Regina: I'm sorry. This was all about me. For her, this was all about... Making sure I never get my happy ending.
Robin: If by happy ending, you mean us, then... At least, in a way, that's possible again. Look, it's messy, I know, but... Between us...
Regina: Is a huge obstacle. And it's going to get bigger every day, and not just for nine months either. It's a lifetime she has cooking in there. No matter what happens from now on, there's going to be this child. You're tied together in a way... In a way we'll never be. I'm such an idiot to think that life wouldn't kick me in the teeth again.
Robin: I hear you. Just...
Regina: Just what?
Robin: What do we do now?
[SCENE_BREAK]
(In Neal's apartment.)
Emma: Can't believe this survived all that time.
Lily: This place that belonged to your...
Emma: His name was Neal. He was a lot of things to me. Now he's just gone, thanks to her.
Zelena: Sorry? I think I just felt it kick. You wouldn't want to rattle an expectant mother now, would you?
(Regina and Robin come back.)
Regina: Everyone, pack up. You, too. We're going back to Storybrooke. Tonight.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Granny's diner.)
Isaac: What is this?
Mr Gold: It's a bagel.
Isaac: Is it?
(Hook enters.)
Hook: Did you hear?
Mr Gold: This is why I hate this place. Are you sure you wanna start the day by tangling with the Dark One?
Hook: Hmm. The Dark One who can't strike back without charring his heart. You're toothless, old dog. So I get to give you the good news. Emma's already on her way back. And guess what? She didn't turn evil after all. So I get to find my happiness, and you will never find yours. Now for you, never is a long, long time.
Isaac: Well, that's bad news. Emma's in charge of happy endings around here. The ink has to contain her blood. It has to governed by her dark impulses. No dark saviour... No ink.
(Mr Gold coughs.)
Isaac: You okay? What was he saying about your heart?
Mr Gold: I'll be perfectly fine once I find another way to get that ink.
Isaac: You think there's a loophole?
Mr Gold: Well, there always is. Let's go.
(Mr Gold coughs again.)
Mr Gold: Forget walking. I have a better idea.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Emma and Regina parks their car. Hook, Henry, Mary Margaret, David and Maleficent come to welcome them. Emma hugs Henry and Hook but she refuses to hugs her parents.)
Emma: Hey. All right. Maleficent... This is Lily. This is your daughter.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Daniel's grave.)
Regina: You show up on the anniversary of killing the man that I loved? To what, rub salt in the wound?
Cora: To apologize.
Regina: I see. How did you get out of the looking glass?
Cora: I borrowed a rabbit. Wonderland's an amazing place. And I've learned a lot. I understand now why you had to send me away. Without me, you've become your own person, and... And I'm very proud of you.
Regina: What do you want, mother?
Cora: To help you. You've got beauty and strength and power. I just wanna help you get that final piece... Love.
Regina: I had that piece. You took it and tore its heart out.
Cora: The Stable Boy.
Regina: Daniel! His name was Daniel.
Cora: Yes. I made a terrible mistake. You see, I was fine with a loveless marriage. I thought you'd be the same. And now I realize that you feel things more deeply than I do. No, you really do. You deserve more than I had.
Regina: Little late, isn't it?
Cora: Oh, we both know that's not true. I had an encounter with a certain wingless fairy who told me of a failed attempt to connect you with your soul mate.
Regina: You met tinker bell?
Cora: Indeed. She told me, Regina. There is someone out there for you, someone you're fated to be with, and I'm here to find him.
Regina: I'll believe it when I see it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Regina leads Zelena to her new home.)
Zelena: No, I mean it. I've no reason to escape.
Regina: And with that cuff, you won't have the magic to do it either. Oh, look. Home.
Zelena: Mmm. Dank. Isn't it? I'm glad I thought of it. And right upstairs, our O.B., Dr. Whale, gives the finest care
Regina: this side of the fictional alps. The perfect temporary home.
Zelena: Yes. This home is temporary. But me being in your life is not, because this... Means forever.
Regina: Okay, Zelena. You wanna start talking truth? Tell me, why are you so confident? Tell me, what's gonna make you feel safe at night once that baby's born?
Zelena: The fact that if you kill me, Robin will always know that you murdered the mother of his child.
Regina: You underestimate me, Zelena. Enjoy your new home.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Mr Gold's shop.)
Mr Gold: Get anything on blood magic, but be quick. I've just remembered something in the back that might help.
(Mr Gold rips his heart and watch the last red spot. Someone enters.)
Isaac: What are you doing here?
Mr Gold: What do you want?
Regina: I want the Author... Finding him was my idea before you stole it... What's wrong with you? You look terrible.
Mr Gold: Nothing. I'm fine.
Regina: Oh, it's your heart, isn't it? It's finally happening.
Mr Gold: Yeah. It's dying. Bad news for you and me both.
Regina: You said it would kill your ability to love. You didn't say that... The Dark One can't die, not like that.
Mr Gold: No, but Rumplestiltskin can. A friendly warning... You don't wanna face the Dark One when there's no one else at home. So I suggest you don't antagonize me.
Regina: Oh, but it doesn't really matter. By definition, when I get my happy ending, I'll be... Guess what? Happy. So I don't really care what you'll be up to.
Mr Gold: No, you... You're just being short sighted. Look. I have the quill. You and I can... Work together. We... We could figure out a way to... To find that ink.
Regina: Yes, you look like you're up for some serious collaboration... Thank you. I'll figure out the ink on my own.
Mr Gold: No, no, no.
Regina: Good-bye, dearie.
Mr Gold: No.
(Regina leaves with the Author and Mr Gold passes out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Cora enters in a pub.)
Sheriff of Nottingham: You are too good for this place, m'lady.
Cora: You'd be surprised. Who are you?
(They call me Nottingham.)
Sheriff of Nottingham: The sheriff of Nottingham, actually. Come.
Cora: My name's Cora, and I'm looking for a man.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Well...
Cora: A specific man. He has a tattoo on his arm of a lion... Right here.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Robin Hood. Sounds like you're talking about Robin Hood.
Cora: Tell me more, sheriff.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Oh, no, no, no, you don't want him, darling. He is a sanctimonious blowhard who thinks he's better than all the other thieving bastards because he steals from the rich... To give to the poor and won't shut up about it.
Cora: That sounds insufferable.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Mm.
Cora: But my daughter has her heart set on him. The things we do for our children.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Mmm. Well, he's all married up now, I hear, to some sickly little tart that no one else would want.
Cora: Wives can be gotten rid of, so I hear.
Sheriff of Nottingham: I think I could help you find him... For a price.
Cora: Maybe I'm closer to finding what I was looking for than I realized. Let's talk some more.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Regina's vault.)
Regina: So if I have this straight, you thought Emma was going to go dark, and she didn't. So the whole operation's dead?
Isaac: Right. The energy of her darkest potential has to charge the ink.
Regina: Okay, let's think.
Isaac: It's a shame. I mean... Writing a happy ending for the Evil Queen. Well, you... you've always been a favourite of mine. Very clear goals plus totally damaged personality with a self-destructive streak? A recipe for compelling. And of all the characters I've written for, you really do get screwed over the most.
Regina: I'm well aware.
Isaac: By the way, I-I was only working with Rumplestiltskin because he was able to protect me. So, you can trust me.
Regina: And you can really do as you say? Take a look at this. This page... It says my happy ending is possible, doesn't it? I mean, it has to exist for a reason.
Isaac: Whoa. I wrote this. I mean, the story with this drawing in it, from my... Well, a-a little experimental writing I did for another book that I never got the chance to write. Where did you get this?
Regina: It just turned up one day in Robin's things.
Isaac: I don't know how that happened, but it... Yeah, it suggests that something is looking out for you.
Regina: Something? Well, could you be more vague?
Isaac: You know as well as I, there are forces greater than all of us. But no matter how you got that, gosh, I am a fan. I'd be happy to write whatever you want if... You only had the ink.
Regina: Oh, I already figured that part out. I know exactly where to find it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Granny's diner.)
Maleficent: You're so beautiful... Sorry. I just... Just... You are, that's all.
Lily: So how are we gonna get revenge on Snow White and Prince Charming?
Maleficent: Now that I see you, I don't wanna waste our time on revenge. I understand why you want it. It's suddenly so clear we should only look forward.
Lily: Seriously? We're gonna let them get away with this?
Maleficent: We can be happy in the future or we can be angry about the past.
Lily: Let's do both. Look, all these years since I figured out what happened, I-I've been trying to figure out how two humans could get me away from a freakin' dragon. But now I get it. You're a pushover. What'd they do, rub your belly? Give you a dragon treat?
Maleficent: Lily... No. I did everything I could. But all I wanna do now is enjoy our time together. I am your mother.
Lily: Well, I'm grown up now. I don't need grooming advice from Annie hall. I gotta go.
Maleficent: Wait! Wait. Please. If you go, if you leave town, you can't get back in. I can't leave at all. I'll crumble back into the dust that I was before Gold revived me.
Lily: Man, that's a bummer.
Maleficent: Please. Can't you just wait a little while longer? Things could look different in a week.
Lily: Send me a postcard.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Mary Margaret opens her door. It's Maleficent.)
Mary Margaret: David.
Maleficent: I'm not here to kill you.
David: Okay...
Maleficent: I just... I just want my daughter.
(Lily isn't with you?)
David: She's leaving.
Mary Margaret: And you think we can help. Come in.
Maleficent: You cast the second curse. Can you... Is there a way for you to seal the borders the way Regina did?
Mary Margaret: I don't know how to do what you want. But that wouldn't be the right way, anyway. If she's upset, you have to get to the heart of what's wrong.
Maleficent: I don't know what's wrong. I don't know her.
David: Well, she's acting a lot like Emma did when she first came here. She had these... Her walls were always up.
Mary Margaret: She was afraid that if she opened herself up to me, I would let her down like everyone else had. And... Ultimately, I did.
Maleficent: If you have any way to help... You didn't give her back to me then, but please, if you can help, do it now.
Mary Margaret: Yes. Come on, David, let's find her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Lily is waiting for a bus at the bus station.)
Regina: Thought I might find you here. Fair warning... bus service in these parts can be spotty. It's going to be a wait.
Lily: Missed the part where that's your problem. Shove off.
Regina: I bet that mouth got you lots of attention back at the group home, but it doesn't work here. Now... Listen up. I've got some talking to do.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Regina's castle.)
Henry: Cora. How... I thought...
Cora: Yes, hello, get out, Henry.
(Henry leaves.)
Regina: Why are you here?
Cora: I have news. I found your man.
Regina: You found him?
Cora: He's on his way.
Regina: He's on his way? Mother.
Cora: Come.
(Cora uses her power to change Regina's dress.)
Regina: You remembered. I love this color. I can't believe you did all this.
Cora: I told you, I've learned.
Regina: Thank you. For the dress.
Cora: Oh, you're welcome, darling. Now turn around and meet him.
(The Sheriff of Nottingham arrives, not Robin Hood.)
Sheriff of Nottingham: Your majesty.
Cora: I think I'll leave the two of you alone. Enjoy your evening together.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(In the Castle's garden.)
Regina: You know, this apple tree used to stand near where I grew up? There was a Stable Boy I liked once, and we used to meet underneath it.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Stable Boy? Well, you certainly have come up in the world since consorting with a lowly Stable Boy, I'd say.
Regina: Have I? I don't feel like I've gone anywhere but down.
Sheriff of Nottingham: Oh, you just need... Some manly arms to lift you up. Now you let me be the strong one so that you can be weak when you want to be.
Regina: Weak?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Well... Feminine.
Regina: Manly arms... Like these?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Hello, there... Oh! Glory of... What are you doing?!
(Regina uses her magic on Nottingham's fake tattoo.)
Regina: That's not a real tattoo. That's magic. Who put that on there?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Stop it. Ah!
Regina: Was it mother?!
Sheriff of Nottingham: Ah! Yes! Ah! She told me to pretend to be your soul mate, and that I could be the king. Ah, just it off me!
Regina: What does she get out of it?
Sheriff of Nottingham: Ow! Just stop it!
Regina: What does she get out of it?!
Sheriff of Nottingham: She said that she wanted you to have a child.
(Regina stops her magic.)
Regina: What?
Sheriff of Nottingham: She said she wanted you to have a child. And I... and I don't know why.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At the bus station.)
Regina: You know about Snow and Charming getting you banished, putting Emma's potential for darkness into you.
Lily: Sent me through the portal in my eggshell, like baby Moses in his basket. And unless you have any ideas about giving them what they deserve...
Regina: Let's not worry about what they deserve. Let's work on what we deserve.
Lily: I deserve them dead.
Regina: Well... You do have some darkness in you, don't you? Thing is, a lot of that darkness, that actually belongs to Emma. And right now, it's good and riled up. And riled up saviour darkness is exactly what I need.
Lily: The only thing you need, lady, is to get out of my way.
Regina: And here I thought we could have a civil conversation... Guess I should just cut to the chase.
(Regina cuts Lily's hand.)
Lily: Hey! Stop! Ah! You're out of your mind!
(Regina puts Lily's blood into the ink.)
Regina: Welcome to Storybrooke.
(Lily's eyes turn yellow.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
(David, Mary Margaret and Maleficent are driving. They hears a noise. Lily turned into a dragon, is on their way.)
Maleficent: Lily?
(Lily flies away.)
Maleficent: Lily.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Cora meets Regina in her bedroom.)
Cora: So how did it go? He's not still here, is he?
Regina: Oh, but he is. He wanted to see the dungeon.
Cora: Oh, for heaven's sake, you're having a tantrum. There. He's home now, poor thing.
Regina: Why'd you let him go? Don't you want someone else to suffer for what you did? Like usual.
Cora: I don't understand. I thought you were getting along.
Regina: Well... I haven't known a lot of love in my life, but... I do know that's not what a soul mate feels like.
Cora: Your so-called "soul mate" is a married, moralizing sap. The one I found is much better.
Regina: You were never interested in my happiness.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Regina visits Zelena with the Author.)
Regina: Hello, Zelena.
Zelena: Oh, visitors. I'll put the kettle on.
Regina: I've got The Author and I've got the ink. I wanted you to witness the moment he writes me my heart's desire. See, this is my town and this is my story. You've just been a supporting player this whole time.
Zelena: Yeah, see, I'm not here to support you. I'm here to replace you. Out with the old, and in with the new.
Regina: Really? We'll see about that.
Zelena: Wait. What exactly is he going to write?
Regina: Oh, I've given that a lot of thought. There are so many good options. But I think, after much deliberation, I've come up with the perfect ending for you, sis.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At the harbour.)
Emma: What are we lookin' at?
Hook: The horizon.
Emma: Is it doing something?
Hook: Well, I just thought you'd find it calming.
Emma: It is. So is rum.
Hook: Emma, I can tell that your heart is uneasy. And it's my job... Well, I hope it's my job, to protect your heart, even when no one is physically trying to steal it.
Emma: You don't have to stop me from going after Gold. I'm smarter than that. He didn't turn my heart dark, and I'm not gonna fall into one of his traps.
Hook: I'm not worried him getting to your heart. I was talking about your parents.
Emma: Oh, we talked about this.
Hook: I talked, you walked away. I just wanna know, is anything gonna be enough? Or are you willing to lose them just to spite them?
Emma: Gimme back the rum.
Hook: They've done a lot of good. Turned themselves into heroes. Yes. I know they didn't own up to what they did. But did you ever think maybe they were ashamed? And they wanted you to like them.
Emma: I'd like them more if... I'd known they turned themselves around. I like when people find their good hearts along the way.
Hook: They were trying to protect you, Swan. Twice. Before you were born, they wanted to make you happy. And when they found you again, they wanted to make you proud. Do you want both those to be failures?
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Into the woods.)
David: It headed this way.
Mary Margaret: She.
Maleficent: Thank you. I'm worried. You need to be taught to fly, and she was way too low. If one wing tip hit a tree, she could be badly hurt.
David: And maybe hurt a lot of people around you, too.
Mary Margaret: David.
(They find Lily.)
Maleficent: Oh, she... She looks like me.
(Maleficent approaches the dragon.)
Mary Margaret: Be careful.
Maleficent: She's my daughter.
(Mary Margaret follows Maleficent, David follow Mary Margaret.)
David: Mary Margaret, no! Stop! She's out of control! Mary Margaret!
(Lily hits Mary Margaret.)
Mary Margaret: Aah! Uhh!
David: No!
(Lily blows fire and flies away.)
(Emma and Hook arrives near Mary Margaret and David.)
Emma: Mom?!
David: She hit her head hard.
Emma: No, stay still.
(Emma heals her mother.)
Emma: It's gonna take time to heal inside.
Mary Margaret: I'm sorry I let you down again.
Emma: You didn't.
Mary Margaret: No, I was selfish.
Emma: Yes, you were, but at some point this has to stop.
Mary Margaret: Emma, I'm not ever going to stop trying to protect you, not ever. I don't care what you do or say.
Emma: I know. I need to stop punishing you.
Mary Margaret: You do?
Emma: You're a hero... If it happened at my expense, it doesn't change anything. It doesn't change the good person you became, and it doesn't change what you are.
Mary Margaret: Which is what?
Emma: My mom. You wanted to make me proud, so you li... Omitted the truth, which was kind of self-defeating, but human. Cutting you out and trying to hurt you has just made me miserable... Anyway, I miss you and I forgive you.
(Mary Margaret hugs Emma.)
(Maleficent finds Lily.)
Maleficent: Are you all right?
Lily: I'm not sure just yet.
Maleficent: You know, I was going to give you something earlier. This was supposed to be yours, but I never got a chance to give it to you... It's too late, isn't it? You're too grown up for everything. You don't need me. And I know that I'm not... I'm not what you were hoping for.
Lily: I thought that you'd be this scary dragon bitch, and we'd go get our revenge. You know, blasting all those who did us wrong... But you're just... This real person. And you're so frickin' open, it kills me.
Maleficent: Why does that kill you? I don't understand. Please, tell me.
Lily: Because you want a relationship, a future. And anyone who's ever wanted that with me, it's just... It's never worked out. I've always let them down. I destroy everything that I touch. That darkness they put in me, it's serious business.
Maleficent: I don't mind a little darkness.
(Maleficent hugs her daughter.)
Maleficent: Look... Why don't you stay for a week, and I can teach you about being a scary dragon bitch?
Lily: Okay. One week.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Zelena's cell.)
Zelena: You're just mad because I have with Robin Hood what you've always wanted. A child.
Regina: No, I already have a child. Henry. No, what I'm mad about is you trying to come between us. About you trying to hurt me. Now I'm going to see to it that you can never hurt anyone else again. Our author here is going to write you out of the story... Forever.
Zelena: Sorry, sis. I think you're bluffing. You'd never take away Robin's baby.
Regina: That's not how I look at it. You see, as far as everyone will be concerned, including me, it'll be as though you never existed.
Zelena: Wait, can he do that? Just change all of your memories?
Isaac: Absolutely. The pen is mightier than the... Well, everything.
Zelena: Well... I never knew our mother, but I imagine I'm getting to know her right now.
Regina: Is that so?
Zelena: She tossed me in a basket, sent me to Oz. She gave up a baby without even blinking an eye. And look at you now. You are exactly like her!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Enchanted Forest - Past ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Regina's bedroom.)
Cora: You'll never be happy. You don't know how. But you do understand power, and you're about to lose it. Your people want Snow White to be queen. And unless you start building a dynasty, she'll take back the kingdom, and you'll lose it all.
Regina: And when I die of a mysterious illness, you're the power behind the child-sized throne, right? Well, guess what, mother? I found a way to keep that from ever happening.
Cora: What is that?
Regina: A potion, to take away your future claim on the royal line.
Cora: But you're not pregnant.
Regina: And now I never will be. I won't be a baby mill for you, mother.
Cora: You'd never do that. This is a sham.
Regina: Is it? You made it clear you don't think anyone's going to love me. So why not make it official? After all, love is weakness.
Cora: I was wrong about that. The man... I really thought he was a good match. I'm very sorry. Now, we both know you're not going to drink that, so put it down and we can fix this.
Regina: You don't think I'm strong enough to do this?
Cora: Stupid girl. You think it'll make you strong to hurt yourself?
Regina: Oh, it does if it hurts you more.
(Regina drinks the potion.)
Cora: No. No.
Regina: Get the hell out of my life!
Cora: Oh, Regina. I really did come here to help you. I love you. I wanted you to have a child for your own sake. If I wanted to take your power... I'd find a much more direct way. Now please take one last piece of motherly advice. I hope you learn what it's taken me a lifetime to realize about myself. The only one standing in the way of your happiness is you.
Regina: Go back to Wonderland, mother. I don't need you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Storybrooke ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Zelena's cell.)
Isaac: Well, the ink is drying. So what do you want me to do?
Regina: Nothing. You didn't know our mother, Zelena, but I did. And yet, we both suffered. She hurt you and she hurt me, too. But our own worst enemy isn't her or each other. It's ourselves.
(Robin comes in.)
Robin: Regina! Is everything all right? I've been looking all over for you.
Regina: Everything's fine. I'm so tired of standing in the way of my own happiness, and I'm not going to do it anymore.
Zelena: Aw. Another woman defining her happiness relative to the love of a man. It's sad, really.
Regina: Oh, don't get it wrong, Greenie. Robin isn't my happy ending. My happy ending is finally feeling at home in the world. Robin's just a part of that world... A world that you're going to be forced to watch from a distance, with the most restrictive visitation rights in history. See you at the next ultrasound.
Isaac: So you don't want me writing anything?
Regina: No. I already have everything I need.
Isaac: Well, I don't.
(The Author writes while Regina and Robin kiss and disappears.)
Robin: Regina!
Regina: What the... No.
Robin: What does it say?
Regina: "Vanishing in a cloud of smoke, the Author slips away with the ink to where... Mr. Gold awaits."
[SCENE_BREAK]
(At Mr Gold's shops.)
Mr Gold: How? No, no. I don't care how. And I don't wanna waste time.
Isaac: That's what I thought. Are you okay here?
Mr Gold: I soon will be.
Isaac: Here.
Mr Gold: Let go of me. Go and write.
Isaac: Write on what?
(Mr Gold creates a new book: Heroes and Villains.)
Mr Gold: Now then... It's time Villains finally win.
(Isaac starts to write.)
|
Plan: A: the "Heroes & Villains" book; Q: What book does Isaac complete? A: a best-selling author; Q: What has Isaac become? A: a key; Q: What does Henry use to send himself and Isaac into the alternate universe? A: Isaac's work; Q: What does Henry have to undo? A: a "Snow White" version; Q: What version of Regina does Henry have to convince to stop Robin Hood from marrying Zelena? A: Emma; Q: Who is held captive in the tower? A: an "Evil Queen" version; Q: What version of Snow White is holding Emma captive? A: time; Q: What are Henry and Hook racing against? A: Rumplestiltskin; Q: Who does Isaac blackmail? A: the power; Q: What now transfers to Henry? A: Regina's blood; Q: What does Henry use to revert Isaac's work? A: Storybrooke; Q: Where does Henry send everyone back to? A: The Apprentice; Q: Who offers Henry a chance to become the Author? A: the pen; Q: What does Henry snap? A: an unconscious Gold; Q: Who does the Apprentice free from the Darkness? A: Darkness; Q: What does Emma sacrifice herself to? A: the Sorcerer's Hat; Q: Where does the Apprentice send the Darkness? A: her light magic; Q: What does Emma use to drive out the Darkness? A: only Merlin; Q: Who can prevent the Darkness from destroying everything? A: vanishes; Q: Emma sacrifices herself and tethers her soul to the Darkness, and then what happens? A: the crisis; Q: What does Emma vanish in? Summary: Isaac completes the "Heroes & Villains" book and successfully changes the universe by sending everyone to an alternative universe, except Henry. Henry tracks down Isaac and discovers that Isaac has become a best-selling author. When Isaac refuses to undo everything (and since he no longer is the Author, having violated the Author's Code), Henry uses a key that sends him and Isaac into the alternate universe. There, in order to undo Isaac's work, Henry has to convince a "Snow White" version of Regina to stop Robin Hood from marrying Zelena, while trying to rescue Emma, who is held captive in the tower by an "Evil Queen" version of Snow White. Henry and Hook help Emma escape the tower and must race against time to make sure that Robin doesn't marry Zelena. However, Isaac blackmails Rumplestiltskin into stopping Emma, but Regina would sacrifice herself after Rumplestiltskin killed her. Since Issac has lost his authority as an Author, the power now transfers to Henry. Using Regina's blood, he reverts all of Issac's villainous work and sends everyone back to Storybrooke. The Apprentice offers Henry a chance to become the Author, but he turns it down, snapping the pen. The Apprentice also frees an unconscious Gold from the Darkness in his heart by sending it into the Sorcerer's Hat. This purifies Gold's heart and severs his link to the Dagger in the process. However, the Darkness escapes, attacking the Apprentice. Emma is able to drive out the Darkness with her light magic, but the Apprentice has been fatally wounded, and warns them that only Merlin, the Sorcerer, can prevent the Darkness from destroying everything. The Darkness eventually reappears and attacks Regina, but Emma sacrifices herself and tethers her soul to the Darkness, vanishes in the crisis, leaving behind the Dagger with her name on it.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
I'm Elena. I'm Stefan.
Stefan voice-over: Love brought me to Mystic Falls.
Elena voice-over: Love drove me away.
Elena voice-over: I am not sorry that I am in love with you, Damon. We've all made sacrifices. Phasmatos, raverus un animun. [Gasp]
Bonnie voice-over: I did a spell that brought you back. You can see ghosts. We can talk.
Jeremy voice-over: No, you can't be dead. Uhh!
Elena voice-over: Have a nice human life, Katherine. But our greatest threat is still out there. Silas. Hello, my shadow self.
Man: Ooh! Uhh!
Silas voice-over: And he looks just... Like... Me.
Elena, voice-over: Hey, Bonnie. How is the summer almost over, and yet I feel like I got nothing done?
[Music playing]
[Laughter]
Elena, voice-over: Sounds like you're having fun traveling with your mom. I still don't know how I'm supposed to do this whole college thing without you.
[Laughs]
Elena, voice-over: And Caroline agrees. She spent the summer designing the color palette for her dorm room while Tyler's been away helping some wolf pack in Tennessee.
Caroline, on phone: Don't worry. I already sent them your application, Tyler. All you have to do is register for classes and show up.
[Tape ripping]
Elena, voice-over: Matt and Rebekah have been sending postcards. I think that they're in Amsterdam now, or was it Prague? I can't keep track. And honestly, I'm not sure I really want to.
Chci te misto.
Elena, voice-over: Anyway, I can't wait to see you. When do you get back? Love, Elena.
Jeremy: Dear Elena.
Bonnie: Wait. Don't start with "dear."
Jeremy: It's bad enough you're dead. Now you're a control freak?
Bonnie: I'm just saying. People don't say "dear" anymore.
Jeremy: Fine. How about "hey, Elena, what's up?"?
Bonnie: Thank you.
Bonnie, voice-over: Hey, Elena. What's up? You guys have no idea how much I miss you. I've been e-mailing with Jeremy. He says it's been surreal to be alive.
Elena: Hey, um, sor... I thought you left.
Jeremy: I did. Uh, 5 hours ago.
Elena: Well, there's... there's pizza in the fr...
Bonnie, voice-over: If Katherine ingesting the only cure on this earth and having to live as a human isn't justice...
[Indistinct shouting]
Bonnie, voice-over: I don't know what is. I miss you guys. I'm glad you're having a great summer. P.S. Have you heard from Stefan?
Damon: You ok?
Elena: Yeah. I've just got this weird feeling, like something bad's about to happen.
Damon: Well, it is.. You're leaving tomorrow. You're trading all this for communal showers and a meal plan.
Elena: Can't you just be a normal boyfriend and support me as I attempt to have a normal college experience?
Damon: I'd rather ply you with champagne and spend the night convincing you to stay.
[Giggles]
Hmm.
[Sigh]
[Gurgling]
Jeremy: There were issues at home. Ever since I lost my parents and my aunt, I've been acting out. Drugs, drinking. I was looking for attention, so, I lit my house on fire and faked my own death.
Elena: Really stress the drug thing, and I'd definitely say that the fire was an accident, because there's crazy and then there's... Well... Me.
Jeremy: Or I could just not go back, considering my school already had a memorial for me.
Damon: Caroline just pulled up.
Elena: I... I can't leave. I should stay and at least wait until Jeremy settles into school.
Damon: You're leaving. You're going to college. You're gonna drink cheap beer and you're gonna protest things you don't care about. And I am gonna take care of your little brother. Trust me. You have nothing to worry about.
Elena: Ok, well, at least Whitmore is only a few hours away, so, if there's anything you need, Jer, just call me.
Hey, see you on laundry day. Ahh.
Elena: So, how do you think this whole long-distance thing is gonna work?
Damon: Well, I personally plan on forgetting about you the second you walk out the door.
Elena: I love you.
Damon: And I love you. All right. Off you go.
[Music playing]
Damon (to Jeremy): Yeah, no. We're not doing this. Go to school.
Caroline: You're dreaming about Stefan?
Elena: They're not dreams. It's more of a feeling. Maybe I should call him.
Caroline: So he can hear how happy you are with Damon? Absolutely not. He'll call you when he's ready.
Elena: So, I should just live with this nagging pit in my stomach?
Caroline: Ok, Elena, that pit is called guilt. You feel terrible because you broke Stefan's heart, and that nagging feeling is your brain waking up to tell you that you've made a horrible yet completely reversible mistake.
Elena: Nice try. Besides, Stefan and I left things in a good place.
Caroline: It doesn't mean he hasn't been thinking about you shacking up with his brother all summer long.
Liz: Hello. Mom ears. Still here.
[Giggles]
[Indistinct chatter]
Elena: We're in college, Caroline.
Caroline: We actually made it. We're here.
Bonnie: We're all here together.
Caroline: You brought a panini press?
Small appliances by the fridge. Ok. That's the last one.
Liz: All right. Give me a good-bye hug before I change my mind and drag you home with me. Oh. You can call as much as you want, you know?
Caroline: Mom, I'll be fine.
Liz: Come here. This is where your dad fell in love with medicine, you know? He would be really proud to see you here.
Elena: Thank you.
Caroline: Ok, go! Before I change my mind and make you stay.
Liz: I'm going. I'm going. I love you. Bye, girls.
[Door closes]
Caroline: So, roomie, I think we should drink to something.
Elena: I couldn't agree more. Roomie. Ha ha! To us, and college, and being functional vampires. To the next chapter of our life.
Ha ha!
[Knocking on door]
Megan: Hi!
Caroline: Uh, who are you?
Megan: I'm Megan. Your roommate.
Caroline says- "get your ass to Whitmore, Bonnie. We need you."
Bonnie: Tell her I'm at the Grand Canyon.
Jeremy: You realize you're just postponing the inevitable, right? What happens when your dad finds out you've been dead all summer?
Bonnie: How many postcards have I sent him? How many times has he called? I've done enough. He's clearly not missing me.
Jeremy: What about Elena?
Bonnie: I just saw her at college. She seemed genuinely happy. I am not taking that away from her. We're lucky, Jer. How many people die and still get to talk to their best friends?
Jeremy: How many best friends can't feel each other? I should get going. The freak who faked his own death can't also be late for math.
[Music playing]
Damon: Wait a minute. How did that happen?
Elena: There must have been a mix-up at the housing office.
Damon: Compulsion. It's the ultimate unwanted roommate repellent.
Elena: That's exactly what Caroline said.
Damon: Right. So, then just compel her ass out the door.
Elena: Damon, what's the point in going to college if we're just gonna recreate what happened in Mystic Falls?
Damon: Look at you, giving it the old college try.
Elena: Did Jeremy get to school ok?
Damon: Yup. Showered, groomed, even cut the crust off of his PB&J myself.
Elena: So, what you're saying is that me being here, you being there, this could actually work.
Damon: Exactly. Heh. Listen, I gotta... Go.
Katherine: It's been a long summer, Damon.
Damon: Katherine.
[Music playing]
Matt: 5-star restaurants in Paris to tapping kegs in a park.
Rebekah: Tragic.
Matt: I thought we said no strings.
Rebekah: Who said there were strings?
Matt: Weren't you leaving town?
Rebekah: I thought I'd give you one last chance to come with me.
Matt: I have to work. I'm back in the real world now. I need a paycheck.
Rebekah: Great. Maybe you could replace those earrings that street rat Nadia stole in Prague.
Matt: Those earrings don't bring you back to life. How am I gonna explain to Jeremy that she stole his Gilbert ring?
Rebekah: Tell him you had a threesome. He'll understand. Don't call. (kissing) Don't write. (kissing) And whatever you do, don't you dare miss me. (kissing)
[walks away smiling]
[Indistinct chatter]
Liz: Hey. Look who's back.
Silas: Look who's, uh, eating her feelings.
Liz: Yeah. I just dropped the girls off at Whitmore.
Ah. Join me as I drown my sorrow in comfort food.
Liz: Ahh. What are you doing?
Silas: I'm outing myself as not-Stefan. Obviously.(cutting her wrist) Don't be afraid. Don't move.
Liz: What's happening?
Silas: We've met before, actually, when I was appearing as your daughter? To bash your head in? Does that ring any bells?
Liz: Silas.
Silas: Indeed. I am a 2,000- year-old immortal that Caroline and her friends thought they got rid of.
Liz: Are you appearing to me as Stefan?
Silas: Well, yes and no. This is my true form. Stefan is my doppelganger. You're confused. I know that because I can read your thoughts. It's understandable. I mean, I've been a little cryptic lately.
Liz: What's with the knife? Most vampires go straight for the neck.
Silas: Oh, please, Liz. I came first. Vampires are nothing more than a disgusting perversion of me. I'm unkillable, I'm immortal, and I'm psychic, and to function, I need human blood, but don't ever call me a vampire. Cheers. Ahh.
Silas: Unfortunately, I can see that you can't help me find what I'm looking for, so, all you need to remember, Liz... Is that Stefan stopped by to say hello.
Liz: Call your friends, Stefan. Let them know you're ok.
Silas: Will do, sheriff.
Megan: So, your current boyfriend Damien... Damon. Is your ex's brother. Stefan. And you and Stefan are friends
Megan: but 3 months ago, he left without saying good-bye?
Elena: Do you think I should call him? No way. Absolutely not.
Megan: Do you have a boyfriend, Caroline?
Caroline: I do. His name's Tyler. He had to miss move-in day, but he'll be here for the first day of classes.
Elena: Assuming he registers, and picks a dorm, and buys books.
Caroline: Speaking of minding one's own business, let's talk roommate ground rules. Privacy is very important to me. Same here.
Caroline: I have low blood sugar. My diet's finicky, so, keep your paws off my stuff.
Megan: We'll split up the shelves.
Caroline: And if I suddenly get up to leave or disappear for a while, don't follow me or look for me.
Megan: Ok. Sounds good.
Elena: Ha! Great. Then we agree on everything.
Man: Excuse me, ladies. Party at Whitmore house tonight.
Elena: We'll be there.
Man: I hope so.
Elena: I love college.
[Giggles]
[Cell phone buzzing]
Damon: Look who rose from the dead.
Katherine: Nice phone. Does it ever ring?
[Grunting]
[Crowd murmuring]
Katherine: You're gonna have to cut me off soon. My tolerance is a joke now. It's just so... Glorious.
Damon: You're miserable.
Katherine: Please. I'm Katherine Pierce.
I'm a survivor. You're a liar.
Damon: Your hair is messed up. Your nails have chipped. You're a sad, miserable human being, and you want me to turn you. So, here. Go ahead. Drink up. I'll kill you. You'll bite the mailman and you'll be a vampire again. Go ahead. Come on.
Katherine: I can't, ok? No one's ever taken the cure before. If I die, there's a good chance I may never wake up.
Damon: And that would be tragic.
Katherine: And deep down, in that mushy-gushy Elena-loving heart, there's a part of you that doesn't want me to die.
Damon: What are you doing here, Katherine?
[Phone ringing]
[Beep]
Katherine: Salvatore residence. Hello, principal Weber. This is Elena. Oh, dear. We'll find him.
[Beep]
Katherine: So, Jeremy's been expelled. Elena will be cool with that, right?
Damon: When I get back here, you're going.
Katherine: Wait, Damon. There's someone chasing me.
Damon: Then run. Run far away.
Katherine: Damon, you don't understand. I have enemies everywhere. What happens when word gets out that I am a human? I can't protect myself. I'm weak. And I'm slow. Do you have any idea what it's like to run in heels? I have blisters, Damon. Please, just... Help me.
Damon: Wish I could say it gets better.
Stefan: The answer's no, Damon.
Damon: Why? So you can keep dying and coming back to life? You felt nothing but sheer agony for 3 months. You hallucinate conversations with me to have something to do. Just turn off that pesky humanity switch.
Stefan: It won't take the pain away.
Damon: Yeah, but it'll turn off your misery. Your fear. Your hopelessness.
Stefan: And then what, huh? Let's just say that you actually notice I'm gone. Let's say I get out of this. What good is it if I'm a monster again? How is that better than any of this?
[Drawer slams shut]
Caroline: Did you notice how Megan's juicer takes up all the small appliance space? She has an entire drawer
dedicated to organic linen.
Elena: What happened to privacy?
Caroline: Maybe if she didn't take such long showers, I wouldn't have time to go through her stuff. How are you ok with a third roommate?
Elena: Because we're trying to be functional. And being functional means we need friends.
Caroline: We also need personal space. I mean, what if we suddenly get a craving and I want to eat her? Or our blood bags go bad because we can't store them in the mini-fridge? [Scoffs] And what the hell is protein water? You know what? Maybe if I drink it all, she'll want to move out.
Elena: Caroline, no...
[coughing]
Caroline: Vervain.
Megan: What's going on? Are you ok?
Elena: Yeah, she's... she's fine.
Megan: What happened?
Caroline: Water just went down the wrong pipe. I'm ok, really. I shouldn't have touched your stuff. I'm... I'm really sorry.
Megan: It's fine. Just sounded like someone was dying out here. Ah. Well, I'm glad you're ok.
Caroline: She knows who we are. She drinks vervain water.
Elena: That doesn't mean that she knows about us.
Caroline: Seriously? We share a bathroom with this girl. What if she's a hunter and she stakes us when we're in the shower? Or she steals our daylight rings while we're asleep and then we burst into flames when the sun comes up?
Elena: Don't you think that if she was a hunter, we'd be dead by now?
Caroline: I think we should lock her up. You know, let the vervain get out of her system, and then we compel her to forget about us.
Elena: Caroline, I'm not kidnapping our roommate. The best way to convince her that we're normal is to act normal. Do normal, human, freshman-y stuff.
Caroline: Such as?
[Music playing]
[Indistinct chatter]
Man: Hey, I remember you.
Elena: Hey. Flyer guy.
Jesse, technically, but "flyer guy" works too.
Elena: I'm Elena. This is Caroline.
Jesse: Nice to meet you.
Caroline: Hi.
Elena: You can't be nice to the guy?
Caroline: I'm with Tyler.
Elena: Are you? Because he hasn't called.
Caroline: From the mountains of Appalachia?
Elena: I'm just saying I don't want you to get your hopes up thinking that he's coming when he hasn't really shown much interest.
Caroline: Did you tell Damon that you're having dreams about Stefan? See? No relationship is perfect. What the hell?
Elena: Someone must own this place. We have to be invited in.
Jesse: Hey. I was wondering if you guys were gonna make it. You guys going in or... Go ahead.
Megan: Why are you guys just standing there?
Elena: We were just... Caroline?
Caroline: Waiting for someone.
Elena: So...
Megan: Right. Well, I'm gonna go hang.
Caroline: Like I said, she knows.
Damon: One day. One day where you don't screw it up.
Jeremy: Leave me alone, Damon.
Damon: You're lucky you didn't put one of those idiots in ICU.
Jeremy: Says the guy that once killed me.
Damon: Yes. In the privacy of your own home, away from prying eyes, unlike you, who went all hunter in the middle of a hallway. You got expelled, genius.
Jeremy: Does that mean I don't have to go back to school?
Damon: I compelled principal Weber into a very generous three--day suspension. Elena does not need to know about this. Finish eating. Meet me outside.
Silas: Hello, Damon.
Damon: Stefan. Welcome home.
Silas: Thanks.
Elena: Hey. Megan. It's Elena. Just calling to let you know why we left, so, call me when you get a chance. Bye.
Caroline: Ok. It's settled. When she leaves, we grab her.
Elena: Or we could just let her know that you weren't feeling well.
Caroline: Elena, she saw us stuck at the threshold. We might as well have flashed her our fangs. There's no way that out of the thousands of freshmen we were randomly paired with someone who knows about vampires.
Elena: Maybe it wasn't random.
[Cell phone beeping]
Elena: Hey, Megan.
Megan: Elena, you have to help me. He's chasing me! Megan, who's chasing you?
Megan: Help me! Oh, my God...
Elena: We can't come inside. The line's too long. If you come out... where are you?
Megan: Elena, please help me!
Caroline: Megan, can you hear me?
Elena: Get outside and we can help you.
[Megan screams]
Oh, my God.
Caroline: Who did this to her?
Elena: This was a vampire.
Damon: Look, I get why you haven't called me back all summer. I wouldn't call me back, either.
Silas: You mean because you stole my girlfriend? I'm over it. Cheers.
Silas: Katherine's living at Chateau Salvatore.
Damon: How do you know that?
Silas: Because I can read your mind. Kidding buddy. Katherine called me first. Remember? It's always been me first.
Damon: Right.
Silas: Hey, Jeremy, looking good, man.
Jeremy: Hey, Stefan. Glad you're back. Yeah. Yeah.
Silas: All right, I'll see you at home.
Damon: Great.
Jeremy: Something's wrong. When he touched me, I felt a chill where my tattoo was.
Damon: What are you talking about?
Jeremy: Right before I died, Silas grabbed me and I felt the same thing.
Damon: Silas is gone. Bonnie turned him into a big piece of rock, remember?
Bonnie: I died. Jeremy, I bound the magic that took down Silas. When I died, the spell must have broken. He's free. That was Silas.
Damon: That's impossible.
Jeremy: I'm a hunter. Our whole reason for existing is to kill him. I know what I'm feeling, Damon. That... that was Silas.
Damon: I just watched him walk through a crowd of people that saw Stefan. There's no way he could fool that many people at once. He's psychic but no one's that psychic.
Jeremy: What did he want?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Knocking on door]
Silas: Why are you in my brother's bathtub?
Katherine: Why aren't you?
Silas: I will say that's a tempting offer.
Katherine: Mm. He flirts. I like Elenaless Stefan.
Silas: You know, human looks better on you than I would've guessed, Katherine.
Katherine: I think you just accidentally gave me a compliment.
Silas: No, I mean it. You sitting here all weak and vulnerable. It works.
[Choking]
Silas: Time for a field trip.
Uhh. Uhh. Uhh! [Gasp]
Damon (to Jeremy): Get her out of here. Don't tell me where you're going.
Damon: God, you're slow. Guess vamp speed came with the upgrade.
Silas: Get out of my way and give me Katherine.
Damon: First drop the Stefan look.
Silas: What?
[Indistinct voice on police radio]
[Siren wailing]
Elena: What is happening? Our roommate is dead, there's a vampire at the party. We don't know what she knew or who she told.
Caroline: We should get out of here.
Elena: Caroline. I left that message in her voicemail.
Caroline: Don't worry. I took her phone.
Elena: You what?
Hey, girls? I'm Diane Freeman, head of campus security. Are you ok?
Elena: I mean, I think so. I understand Megan was your roommate. I'm so sorry you had to find her like this. Do they know what happened? We found a note. Apparently, she was struggling with severe depression. Wait. What do you mean you found a note? Your roommate took her own life. You think this was a suicide? We're convinced it was a suicide, but we can't seem to find her cell phone. Have you seen it? No. Ok. If it turns up, let us know? What is going on?
Damon: If I have to hear the word "doppelganger" "one more time, I think I'm gonna actually have to learn how to spell it.
Silas: You say you don't believe me and yet your mind is spinning at the possibility.
Damon: "A," get out of my head. "B," I think I'd know if my little brother had an evil twin.
Silas: Oh, we're not twins. See, when I became truly immortal, nature retaliated by creating a version of me that was killable. It's called a shadow self.
Damon: Well, whatever you are, your plan didn't work. Cure's gone. Now, what do you want with Katherine?
Silas: I could tell you, but wouldn't it be so much more fun if it were a surprise?
Damon: You're not getting her.
Silas: Damon, how well do you know your brother? Do you really think he would leave town for 3 months without so much as a phone call so you could live happily ever after with the love of his life? Or did you just delude yourself into thinking it would be that easy? Where's Stefan? He's suffering. Like I suffered.
Silas: So, call the hunter. Bring me Katherine. And then I will tell you where your little brother is.
Katherine: Where are we going? Are you deaf? I said where are we going?
[Cell phone ringing]
Jeremy: Hey.
Damon: How far did you get?
Jeremy: You said not to tell you.
Damon: You picked now to listen to me?
Jeremy: We just passed old Miller road.
Damon: Good. Turn around. Bring her back.
Katherine: What? No.
[Tires screeching]
Katherine: What are you doing? Jeremy, stop. You can't take me back there, Jeremy. Damon wouldn't just hand me over. Silas clearly got in his head.
Jeremy: Shut up, Katherine. Hey, what the hell?
[Tires screech]
Silas: Ooh. Your thoughts are churning. It's like a spool of pink Taffy. It's very messy but very fun to watch.
Damon: Anyone ever tell you that's creepy?
Silas: You're worried. Jeremy's not answering the phone. [Gasp] They should be back by now. You think something's very wrong.
Matt: There you go, mayor. This one's on the house.
Mayor: Thank you, Matt.
Matt: So, when's Bonnie coming back?
Mayor: Well, I'm not sure, but if you talk to her, tell her I said hi, ok? Thanks for the beer.
Matt: You're welcome. No way. Nadia?
Nadia: You remember me.
Matt: Yeah. I remember you. You got Rebekah and me drunk and robbed us.
Nadia: But it was fun until then, no?
Matt: How did you know how to find me?
Nadia: Let's skip the how and get to the why. This wasn't mine to take.
Matt: You traveled 4,000 miles to give me back a ring?
Hey, if you don't want it... No.
Matt: I want it.
Nadia: Looks better on you, anyway.
[Gasp]
Jaryakat a zem. Daryeet acza.
Elena on phone: Hey, Megan, it's Elena. Just calling to let you know... Delete. Someone's been in here.
Elena: Megan's tablet's gone.
Caroline: Along with her so-called suicide note?
Elena: Can I see the phone for a second?
Caroline: It just doesn't make any sense. First the roommate we're not supposed to have might know about vampires, and then happens to be killed by a vampire and now the school's covering it up? Seriously, who is this girl?
Elena: Whatever's going on, it's not just about our roommate. It's about me. That's Megan. With my dad. Hey. [Gasps]
[Groans]
Bonnie: Jeremy, hold on. Hey, I know you can hear me. Jeremy.
[Vehicle approaching]
[Tires screech]
Damon: Jeremy. Aah! Open your eyes, Jer. You do not get to die on me. You hear me? I'm supposed to be taking care of you, you little punk. Wake up. I'll kill you myself. Uhh.
[Music playing]
Jeremy: Katherine is gone.
Damon: [Exhales] Oh. [Exhales] I don't care. [Exhales]
Tyler on phone: Hey, Caroline, look. I put a lot of thought into this and decided to defer school for now. This werewolf pack I'm helping, they need me. I know it's lame to do this over the phone, but I figure this way's harder for you to kill me. I'm really, really sorry, take care, but this is important.
[Music playing]
[Sobbing]
Elena: You ok?
[Sobbing]
Caroline: Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.
Elena: Sorry, Caroline.
Caroline: I'm really glad that you're here.
Elena: I'm really glad you're here, too.
[Gurgling]
Damon: You're thinking about it. Flip the switch, brother. Put yourself out of this misery, please.
Stefan: Did you forget how long it took me to come back last time? Everything I lost in the process?
Damon: You don't deserve this, Stefan. You did the right thing... you walked away. You let us be happy, and this is what you get in return? How is that fair? Hey. Just turn it off. Turn it off.
Elena: Wait. Stay with me, Stefan.
Stefan: What are you doing here?
Elena: I know this is torture, but stay with me. Your humanity is the one thing that makes you who you are. Don't let go. Please, Stefan. For me.
Damon: Hey, sorry it took so long to call you back. Car trouble.
Elena: What happened?
Damon: Well, some idiot broke the window. Based on your voicemail, it sounds like your day sucked worse than mine. You all right? Do you want to come home?
Elena: I can't. Especially if my dad's connected to this somehow. I need to know why.
Damon: Yeah, it's probably for the best. That'll give me more bonding time with your brother.
Elena: I love you, Damon.
Damon: Good night.
Oof.
Jeremy: You didn't tell her Silas was here.
Damon: Nor did I tell her Stefan's missing, Katherine's in town, or you got expelled.
Jeremy: So, you lied.
Damon: No. I withheld a bit of the truth so that Elena wouldn't drop everything and come running home to help. I'll figure all this out.
Mayor: I hope everyone enjoyed the party.
[Cheering and applause]
Mayor: It is... it is truly great to have an end-of-summer tradition. My daughter has her own end-of-summer tradition of overindulging in the cotton candy.
[Laughter]
And now she's off traveling the world and sending her old man postcards from all her great adventures. Family is one of our core values here in Mystic Falls. It's what this block party celebrates. Family as community... Stefan.
Silas: Do you mind if I say a few words?
Mayor: Maybe when we're done here, ok?
Silas: I'll take it from here, mayor.
Bonnie: Oh, my God.
Silas: You're probably wondering how I did that. It's pretty basic mind control. And until now, it's been fairly limited to one person at a time. But this summer, I've consumed an immeasurable amount of blood.
[Crowd murmuring]
Silas: And I felt myself getting stronger and stronger every day. And I started to wonder, what are the limits to my powers? How many people can I influence? Two? Ten? An entire town square?
[Crowd murmuring]
Silas: Everyone stop talking. That worked. Now let's try this. No one make a sound or move a muscle.
[Bonnie screaming as Silas cuts the Mayors throat]
[Sobbing]
Silas: Now that I have your attention, I need a favor. I need you to find someone. You all know Elena Gilbert. Well, the girl that I'm looking for looks exactly like her.
The End.
|
Plan: A: her freshman year; Q: When does Elena start college? A: Caroline at Whitmore College; Q: Who is Elena's roommate? A: a normal human experience; Q: What does Elena want to have? A: their good time; Q: What ends badly for Elena and Caroline? A: another vampire; Q: What killed Elena's roommate? A: Jeremy; Q: Who does Damon have to take care of? A: his own death; Q: Jeremy has trouble adjusting back into school after telling everyone he faked what? A: Bonnie; Q: Who is still dead? A: Katherine; Q: Who needs Damon's help after Silas comes after her? A: Matt; Q: Who says goodbye to Rebekah? A: Nadia; Q: Who does Matt run into? A: Stefan; Q: Who is still in the locker underwater? A: his humanity; Q: What is Stefan fighting the urge to turn off? Summary: With her relationship with Damon still intact, Elena begins her freshman year of college with Caroline at Whitmore College, excited about the chance to have a normal human experience, but their good time ends badly when their roommate is brutally murdered by what seems to be another vampire. Damon is left to take care of Jeremy, who has trouble adjusting back into school after telling everyone he faked his own death. After an altercation at school, he is expelled. Bonnie, still dead doesn't want anyone to know that she is dead and has Jeremy masquerade as her. Katherine has trouble adjusting to being human again and needs Damon's help after Silas comes after her and also her other enemies who are after her as she is vulnerable. Matt says goodbye to Rebekah after their summer traveling together and runs into an old friend named Nadia. Stefan is still in the locker underwater and is hallucinating while fighting the urge to turn off his humanity.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Mary: We gather together with the unification of the two crescent bloodlines. Hayley will share here unique gifts with her pack.
Klaus: Let Jackson have Hayley. His reign will be short-lived.
Klaus: Jackson, I invite you to live here. Welcome to the family.
Elijah: Well, the wolves are unified, hope is safe, so in the interest of maintaining the peace, I have decided to join Marcel in Algiers. Rebekah.
Rebekah: Freya.
Freya: Tell our brothers I'll be coming to see them.
Elijah: Gas has pervaded every single room in this home. Good-bye, brother.
Freya: Helbred bransar, belaste herte, begin panet.
Rebekah: I will not leave this body until I find a way to bring you back.
Hayley: Have you told Marcel that you're you?
Rebekah: I thought I'd hold off on that for the moment.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ NEW ORLEANS STREET / MIKAELSON COMPOUND / ELIJAH'S LOFT ]
(Rebekah, still in her witch vessel, is wandering around a street bazaar full of witches selling various wares as she talks to her brothers via a three-way phone call. Klaus is standing on the balcony overlooking the courtyard, watching as four werewolves spar with each other, while Elijah is looking through his closet for a suit to wear for the day)
Rebekah: Enough already with the family squabbling! Come on, Nik. Even you can see that the situation has become awkward.
Klaus: There's nothing awkward about it! Hayley and Hope are belong in the compound where they are safe. As much as I would like Elijah's help to kill Finn, if his delicate sensibilities are offended by the presence of Hayley's new husband, then he's welcome to continue sulking across the river.
Elijah: (annoyed) As I have explained to you repeatedly, brother, my presence here in Algiers is purely to assemble allies, and given all the enemies we have afoot in the form of wayward siblings and ancient, maniacal aunt Dahlias, I would think that you would applaud my efforts.
Klaus: (mockingly) Well, if it's my applause you seek, you shouldn't have dashed off in a bloody huff!
(Elijah, frustrated, gestures angrily with his arms, though Klaus obviously cannot see him from the French Quarter. Rebekah sighs and tries to get them back on track)
Rebekah: Alright, can you two at least try and stay focused on what's best for Hope's safety?
Elijah: I would like nothing more!
Klaus: I am doing exactly that!
Rebekah: (smiles patronizingly) See? You're on the same team. (A couple feet away, there is a male witch with a scruffy beard who frowns as he stares at her as she talks on the phone) Conflict resolved, crisis averted.
(Rebekah hangs up the phone and returns to looking at items at the booth in front of her. After a moment, she notices the man continue to scowl and stare at her, and, realizing someone might have recognized her host body, starts to walk in the opposite direction. She turns around a corner and bumps into another man)
Rebekah: (annoyed) Excuse you, too!
(The man turns to face her and glares at her angrily, worrying Rebekah so much that she runs away, only to run into yet another male witch who seems to recognize her. Suddenly, everyone around her seems to know who she is, and though she tries to get away from them, she ultimately runs into a dead-end alley, where the first two witches easily catch up with her)
Rebekah: (scared and angry) Are you two looking for something besides a smack in the jaw?
Witch 1: You will die for what you've done.
(Rebekah throws her hand out in front of her, trying to cast a pain infliction spell on the witches, but nothing happens. She desperately tries again, but it still doesn't work)
Rebekah: (frustrated) Unh! Stupid bloody magic!
(Witch 1 shakes a rattle, which makes Rebekah double over and clutch her head as she screams in agony)
Rebekah: Unh!
(The witch continues to shake his rattle, and Rebekah falls to her knees in pain. Out of nowhere, Marcel vamp-speeds into the alley and shoves each of the witches into opposite walls to disorient them. He then rushes over to Rebekah, whose nose is bleeding, and who is looking at him in shock. He holds his hand out to her to help her up)
Marcel: There's more of them on the way, we should probably go. (Rebekah just gapes at him in shock, and Marcel becomes more anxious) Rebekah!
Rebekah: (confused) How did you know?
Marcel: (grabs Rebekah and holds onto her waist tightly) Can we talk about that later? We don't have all day.
(Marcel vamp-speeds away with Rebekah in his arms before the witches can recover enough to retaliate)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ST. LOUIS CATHEDRAL BELL TOWER ]
(Finn and Freya are still hiding out in the bell tower of the Cathedral from their siblings. Freya comes up behind Finn as he looks anxiously out the window at the city below)
Freya: Don't worry. I've made sure no one can come in here.
Finn: I'm not worried. I'm just impatient for a reunion with the brothers that tried to kill me. (He walks toward Freya so he can talk face-to-face) Freya, now that I'm healed, I need power. Now, our father's still in the tomb where I left him. I think it's time that I go back and I channel him.
(Finn walks toward the door, and Freya considers this for a moment before turning to call after him)
Freya: Finn? (Finn turns to look at her) I need a moment alone with him first. (Finn doesn't seem pleased by this request) It's been a thousand years. He doesn't even know I'm still alive.
Finn: Believe me, Freya, that is for the best! He's a monster.
Freya: (approaches him) He wasn't a monster to me.
Finn: Well, he changed after you were taken. Freya, I spent years hoping that he would go back to being himself, but he never did. And, from what I understand, over the centuries, he's grown far worse--
Freya: (interrupts) Just a few minutes, my sweet Muninn.
(Finn sighs, unable to deny her what she wants)
Finn: I suppose you'll want time with our mother as well.
Freya: (coldly) Esther gave me away. She is nothing to me. Let her rot.
(Finn looks at her, seemingly impressed)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
(Klaus is discussing pack business with Hayley and Jackson in the upstairs lounge)
Klaus: It's time to use our werewolf army. Finn and the woman who calls herself my sister are in this city. The wolves can help us pinpoint their location.
Jackson: No, we need all hands on deck here with Hope. (Klaus' eyes widen in annoyance) Nik, you can compel humans to track your enemies.
Klaus: Do my ears deceive me or did you just give me an order in my own home?
Jackson: This ain't about your ego, Klaus! It's about what's best for that little girl.
Klaus: (furious) How dare you question my intentions for my daughter!
Hayley: (reluctantly) Jack, Klaus is right. Finn's body disappeared from the morgue, which means that he's either powerful enough to heal from that explosion, or Freya's powerful enough to save him. Either way, we're not finding them unless we send our best people out there.
(Jackson sighs in frustration)
Klaus: (patronizingly) I'm sure you and all your merry men will find them posthaste.
Jackson: (stands to look Klaus in the eye) Just to be clear, I'm giving this order because Hayley is asking. (Klaus opens his mouth to speak, but Jackson cuts him off before he can say anything) Don't think for one second that I take orders from you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Marcel pours himself and Rebekah a drink at his bar. He looks down at his wristwatch before turning toward Rebekah, who is pacing around in front of the couch)
Marcel: (annoyed) You haven't spoken a word for thirty minutes. (Rebekah remains silent. Marcel keeps staring at his watch) Thirty-one. (He sits down on a bar stool and stares at her) Fine. I'll answer for you: "Thank you for rescuing me, Marcel. It's so good of you to still care, even though no one told you I was back."
Rebekah: (stares at him for a moment before speaking) I asked them not to.
Marcel: (smiles bitterly) There she is. (He pauses for a moment) Why?
Rebekah: It's complicated.
Marcel: (sarcastically) You think?
Rebekah: (exasperated) How did you find me anyway?
(Marcel slams his drink on the bar and approaches her)
Marcel: I knew you were you, I knew you were up to something, so I followed you, OK? And it's a good thing that I did! That market is bad news. The Treme witches are not friendly to outsiders. What were you doing there?
Rebekah: I was looking for anything that could help boost my magic. I promised Kol I'd find a way to bring him back, and I can't do that as an amateur-hour witch!
Marcel: (holds up a finger to silence her) Okay, you need to be more careful.
Rebekah: I can take care of myself.
Marcel: (mockingly) All evidence to the contrary.
Rebekah: (offended) Don't be condescending just because you got to play hero for one tiny moment.
Marcel: (smiles) One tiny, saved your life from certain death moment?
(Before Rebekah can respond, Elijah rushes into the loft looking concerned)
Elijah: (to Rebekah) Are you alright?
(Rebekah walks over to him while Marcel pinches the bridge of his nose in annoyance)
Rebekah: Barely. They attackers knew me, Elijah. Not me me, but... (She gestures at her body) .. this, her, whoever she is. (She looks at Elijah anxiously) They want her dead.
Elijah: (walks over toward Marcel) We will find them and show them why their anger is unwise.
Marcel: You don't want to mess with that crowd, alright? We want answers, we need to ask Josephine LaRue. She serves as matriarch to the covens outside the Quarter. She'll know who wants Rebekah dead.
Rebekah: How can you be sure?
Marcel: She bankrolls Fauline Cottage. (Elijah looks at him in surprise) She'll know who you are and why you were locked up in there.
Rebekah: And what if she wants to lock me right back up? I won't go back to that horrid place--
Elijah: (interrupts her) The two of you go and see what you can find about this body you now possess. I shall pay a visit to Josephine. (He cups Rebekah's face with his hand) A warning to you. You are not who you once were. This body is all too vulnerable.
(Rebekah rolls her eyes in frustration as Elijah heads for the door. Marcel looks anxious as he calls out after him)
Marcel: Elijah. Josephine is an eccentric old bat with no love for vampires. Your charms might not work as well as you think.
Elijah: (smirks) My charms are quite adaptable, Marcellus, let me assure you.
(Elijah smiles at him as he leaves the loft. Rebekah crosses her arms over her chest, clearly frustrated and unhappy with this arrangement. Marcel, looking overwhelmed, just sighs)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
(Finn and Freya are in the Lyonne tomb, where Mikael and Esther/Lenore's desiccated bodies are still laying where Finn left them. He covers up Esther's body with a white sheet before turning to Freya, looking concerned)
Finn: Our brothers probably have spies all over the place looking for us--
Freya: (interrupts) I won't be long, Finn. I promise.
Finn: (anxious) Freya, are you sure you want to do this? (Freya rolls her eyes good-naturedly) All right. This is not the man that you remember.
Freya: (smiles weakly) He is still my father.
(Finn nods in understanding and picks up Esther's shrouded body and leaves the tomb so Freya and Mikael can have privacy. She looks down at Mikael, and when Finn is gone, she takes out a knife from her coat pocket and cuts her left index fingertip with it as she starts to cast a spell)
Freya: Sinn vaka augas hniga. (She smears the blood from her index finger onto the middle and ring fingertip of her right hand and swipes the blood across Mikael's lips) Sinn vaka augas hniga.
(Suddenly, the blood begins to magically restore Mikael's skin from the mottled gray of desiccation to its natural pinkish-white, and he opens his eyes as he awakens with a gasp)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ELIJAH'S LOFT ]
(Gia is sitting on the couch of Elijah's new apartment in Algiers, where they are discussing Elijah's arranged meeting with the witch Josephine. Elijah paces around in front of the couch while they talk. Gia is putting her violin back in its case, and Elijah is looking through a file full of paper)
Gia: Can't we just bring wine or coffee cake, bundt cake, any kind of cake?
Elijah: From what I can gather, Miss LaRue was something of a musical prodigy in her youth. The way to her heart is with the music she loves the most... (He sets down several pieces of sheet music) Beethoven, "sonata number 9, opus 47."
Gia: (unimpressed) How about I bring my laptop, speakers, add a drumbeat?
Elijah: The promise of your performance is what has opened the door for us. If this fails, the life of someone I care for deeply will be in jeopardy, and that will displease me immensely. (He snaps his fingers and heads for the door) Shall we move, please?
Gia: (confused) No. Why don't you make both our lives easier and just compel someone from the symphony?
Elijah: (sighs) My darling Gia, you are an artist far more gifted than anyone from any local symphony. (Gia seems genuinely touched by this compliment) Unfortunately Miss LaRue despises vampires, so we need to show her that our community is comprised of a... A different breed... (He winks at her) .. with a new sophistication.
Gia: (smiles) Sophisticated, huh? I suppose you want me in a dress?
Elijah: (smirks) We should adapt to our audience, yes.
Gia: And you... dark suit on the left side of your closet or... (She gasps mockingly) .. identical dark suit on the right?
Elijah: (amused) I prefer the one in the middle, thank you so much.
Gia: (stands and walks toward him with a smile) Man, if anyone needed a woman to mess his life up a bit... (Elijah frowns slightly, and Gia realizes what she just said. She scratches her head awkwardly) Right. Uh, your girl actually went and--
Elijah: (interjects) .. She did.
Gia: .. married another...
Elijah: (awkward) .. another guy.
Gia: Um, look. For what it's worth, I thought Marcel and I had a thing... (Elijah seems surprised by this admission) .. but that didn't work out. (She takes a deep breath and shrugs) We might not be in the same boat, but it's the same ocean.
(Gia gets up to leave, and Elijah turns to watch her go, clearly conflicted)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
(Jackson and Aiden are walking through the halls of the compound as they discuss their new assignment)
Aiden: So what are we now... errand boys?
Jackson: I told you Finn's powerful. If we're gonna find him, we need numbers, strength, and speed.
Aiden: Wait, Jack. These new abilities of ours, people are already talking about what they can do individually, and they need to feel respected, not like cannon fodder. We're gonna lose good men...
Jackson: (raises his voice) We're not gonna lose anybody if you stay alert! Hunt Finn down as a pack, catch him off-guard. The sooner we find this freak, the sooner we can all relax. (Aiden looks conflicted, but nods in agreement) And Aiden, I appreciate your concern but why don't you let me worry about the pack.
(Jackson walks away, leaving Aiden alone in the hallway. Once he's gone, Klaus comes up behind him and approaches him)
Klaus: It's surprising how little he values your input, especially since it was you who led the wolves during his self-imposed exile.
Aiden: (turns to face him) What do you want, Klaus?
Klaus: Merely to offer advice that may save the lives of the good men. My brother Finn is not entirely sane, but he is clever. If you approach him en masse, he will see you coming, and he will destroy you en masse. Instead, be strategic. Move quietly. I'll handle the rest.
(Aiden looks at him, obviously confused by Klaus' seeming kindness. After a moment, Klaus walks away)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Marcel has just returned to his apartment with a box in his hand, where Rebekah has been waiting for him)
Marcel: (holds up the box) Oh, nothing says manly like buying a matching tea set. (He starts opening the box to take out the tea set) The good news is this guy who's coming, he's dialed into witch business like you wouldn't believe. If anyone can tell us about you, it's him. (Marcel strips off his jacket and takes a seat on the couch) While we're waiting, how about that explanation?
Rebekah: Fine. Yes, I asked my brothers not to tell you I was back. (She sits next to him on the couch) I didn't want to see you after all this time when I wasn't myself, not like this, and perhaps, I feared that I might be desperate to kiss you, which I clearly can't do whilst occupying someone else's lips.
Marcel: (intrigued) Did you?
Rebekah: (confused) Did I what?
Marcel: (smirks) Want to kiss me?
Rebekah: No!
Marcel: (continues smirking) Are you sure about that?
Rebekah: One hundred bloody percent. (Marcel stares at her in disbelief) Satisfied?
(Before they can discuss this further, the man Marcel is expecting, Ruben, walks into the apartment with a satchel in his hands)
Ruben: Am I interrupting?
Marcel: No. You're right on time. (Marcel stands to greet him) Allow me to introduce Ruben Morris, local seer, sage, and prognosticator for hire.
Rebekah: (stands) Thank you for coming.
(Ruben stares at her for a long moment, as though he's unnerved, before he finally speaks)
Ruben: Yeah. Charmed. (He turns to Marcel) Just a reminder, house calls cost double.
Marcel: (pulls out a wad of bills and slaps it into his open hand) Mm-hmm.
(Ruben pockets the money as Rebekah sits back down on the couch, looking nervous)
Ruben: Hmm. Where'd you find her?
Marcel: On the streets, memory wiped clean. Could be a hex or amnesia. I figured you'd have an idea of who she is or maybe a way to find out.
(Ruben smiles weakly at takes another look at Rebekah before setting his bag down on the coffee table)
Ruben: I've never seen her before, but... that doesn't mean we can't figure it out. (He turns to Marcel) You get what I asked you for? (Marcel points to the tea set on the bar, and Ruben goes to pick it up) Then my leaves will tell us everything we need to know.
(He opens up his satchel, revealing several varieties of teas and herbs in jars and bottles)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
(Mikael has just awakened in the Lyonne tomb, and he struggles to stand to his feet. When he sees Freya standing before him, he looks at her angrily. Freya looks overwhelmed)
Mikael: What devil are you?
Freya: (smiles, near tears) Someone you once loved deeply, my father.
(Mikael growls and vamp-speeds toward her, putting her in a choke-hold and slamming her against the wall)
Mikael: I've no time for your riddles, witch!
Freya: Do you not recognize me? Can you not see the daughter you thought died so long ago?
Mikael: (furious) You lie!
Freya: (shakes her head weakly) You named your sword Rahul, after the early morning sun. (Mikael, stunned and overwhelmed, slowly lets go of her neck) Its hilt was golden like the color of my hair. You said it would remind you of me while you were in battle, that I'd be by your side no matter how far afield you traveled.
Mikael: (quietly) It can't be.
Freya: The night before you left for war, you christened that sword with goat's blood. When I awoke, you were gone. I never saw you again.
Mikael: (near tears) It's been a thousand years. How is this possible?
Freya: I was taken by Dahlia. I'll explain everything. (She takes his hands and kneels in front of him) Just say you believe me?
(Mikael kneels down and takes her face in his hands. They're both crying and overwhelmed with emotion)
Mikael: My beautiful Freya. My daughter.
(They hug each other as they both begin to sob)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
(Jackson walks into Hayley's bedroom, where she has just put Hope down to sleep, and knocks gently on the door frame. He's holding a plate in his hand)
Hayley: Shh. I just got her down.
Jackson: (holds out the plate to her) Thought you might be hungry.
Hayley: (smiles) Grilled cheese, huh? Hell of a chef!
Jackson: (laughs) I don't like to brag. (Hayley smiles at him as she starts putting away Hope's toys and blankets) You know, I can help you with Hope, right? If you want to take a break sometime, I'm good with kids.
Hayley: I missed six months of her life. I don't mind. (She smiles at him) Thanks!
(Jackson smiles and turns to leave, but Hayley calls out to him to stop him)
Hayley: Hey, Jack. You've been a million miles away lately.
Jackson: Yeah, I'm fine. Just trying to get the wolves back into the Quarter.
Hayley: Okay, I know what "busy" is, and I know what "trying to keep busy" is. I've barely seen you.
Jackson: (looks guilty) I know. I just don't want you feel obligated to me, this marriage.
Hayley: How many times do I have to tell you this isn't an obligation? (She suddenly realizes something, and clears her throat awkwardly) Are you talking about s*x?
Jackson: (looks down at the floor) Look... The unification ritual worked, but we still have to live as husband and wife.
Hayley: This isn't something that we have to be shy about.
Jackson: That's the start of our life together.
Hayley: We're both adults. Let's just put on some Marvin Gaye and light some candles... (Jackson starts to laugh) .. and we'll just...
(Their discussion is interrupted by Hope, who starts crying loudly)
Hayley: (awkwardly) Or I could go and feed the baby.
(Hayley gives Jackson a guilty and slightly disappointed smile before going into the nursery to check on Hope. Jackson sighs, also disappointed, and turns to leave)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Ruben is grinding up a tea mixture with a mortar and pestle in Marcel's apartment while Marcel and Rebekah sit across from him in preparation to find the past of Rebekah's vessel)
Rebekah: Can't we just get to the part where you tell me who I am?
Ruben: (pours hot water from the tea pot into the leaves in each cup) Heh. You want the leaves to talk, you got to sip the tea. (Rebekah looks at Marcel nervously, but he nods in encouragement) You, too, Marcel. This is your house. Spell won't work if you're not part of it.
(Rebekah drinks the tea from her cup, and after a moment, Marcel does the same. Ruben picks up Rebekah's cup from the table and peers inside it to examine the leaves)
Ruben: (sighs) The leaves say you were both with a dark side and fought against your nature. (He looks up at Rebekah) Looks like you lost. (He looks back at the leaves in the cup) Hmm.
Rebekah: (nervous) What?
Ruben: I heard of this before. Hmm...
Rebekah: What is it?
Ruben: Last year, a witch named Eva Sinclair was stealing children to channel their power. (As he talks, Rebekah's eyes start to flutter, and she begins to get woozy) That would be you. (Rebekah starts to hyperventilate when she realizes the tea was dosed with something) You're a murderous psychopath.
(Rebekah clutches her chest as she gasps for breath, and Marcel reaches out his arm to steady her)
Rebekah: (wheezes and stands on her feet) I can't... I can't breath!
(Marcel stands up to help her as Ruben just stares at her, clearly pleased)
Marcel: You're having a panic attack.
(Rebekah is too weak to stay upright, and when she leans down against the coffee table, it collapses under her, causing the tea pot and cups to fall to the floor. Marcel stumbles as well, and he realizes that he's been slipped something in his tea as well)
Marcel: Hey! (He gets dizzy and doubles over) Oh! Oh! (He staggers toward Ruben) She is not who you think she is!
(Rebekah is laying flat on the floor, and she sees a glass vial of red liquid, along with a burlap pouch of herbs, on the floor in front of her. She reaches out to grab it while she struggles to come up with a plan to save herself and Marcel)
Ruben: She is! Marcel Gerard, I expected you to keep a better company of people!
(Before Marcel can fight back, Ruben holds out his hand and telekinetically chokes Marcel before snapping his neck with his magic. Marcel's unconscious body falls to the floor as Rebekah gasps for breath and tries her best to get onto her feet)
Ruben: (turns to Rebekah) No one could prove it was you, Eva. They never found those kids... (Rebekah tries to crawl backward as he walks toward her, but she's too weak) .. and those of us with kids of our own, we'd go to bed at night, not sleep a wink knowing that you were out there. There was no way I was gonna let you out into the world. Not if my son could be next.
(Rebekah collapses flat onto the floor and her eyes flutter as she starts to fade out of consciousness)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LARUE MANSION ]
(Elijah and Gia arrive to Josephine's home; Elijah is in his usual suit, while Gia is wearing a purple dress and carrying her violin. They're let in by a butler, who leads them inside, where Josephine, an older, dark-haired woman, is seated in the living room. The scene cuts to Gia, who is playing Beethoven's Sonata No. 9 while Elijah and Josephine sit and listen. Once Gia is finished, she puts down her violin and looks at Josephine nervously)
Josephine: You are as calculating as I've heard, Mr. Mikaelson, having your companion play the very piece I once performed to great acclaim.
(Gia looks at Elijah, obviously uncomfortable)
Elijah: Is it not also a piece that you enjoy?
Josephine: It's best not to insult those more powerful than you, which is the only reason I allowed you into my home. Now, if you will excuse me, I have many things to do.
Elijah: (smiles) My goodness. I had expected a more cordial welcome here.
Josephine: And why would I be cordial to you? (Elijah looks as though he wants to say something, but he remains silent) Since your family has returned to this city, our Elders have been murdered, promising young witches have been inhabited against their will.
Elijah: And I can put an end to all of it.
Josephine: With all due respect, I can believe that as much as I believe I will play my violin again someday... (She looks down at her hands, which are shaking and extremely swollen. Her fingers and joints are stiff, disfigured and painful-looking. Elijah looks guilty and discouraged, while Gia looks shocked) .. because, Mr. Mikaelson, beneath your formal attire, and behind the lovely Beethoven, (She nods her head to Gia) .. you are all the same. Liars, monsters wearing the skins of humans. Good day to you both.
(Elijah looks at her unhappily. Gia looks offended)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Rebekah is desperately crawling across the floor toward Marcel's bookshelf while Ruben continues to slowly walk toward her. She's clearly weak, and struggles to get away)
Ruben: Jimson weed is nasty stuff. Been killing people since the Middle Ages. Those hallucinations, they're gonna get worse. Then the pain will start.
(Rebekah tries to pull herself up off the floor by holding onto one of the shelves on the bookshelf)
Rebekah: (gasping for air) Something... You need to know about me.
Ruben: And what could you tell me I don't already know, Eva Sinclair?
Rebekah: (stands to her feet) My name is Rebekah Mikaelson, and I know the antidote to jimson weed.
(Rebekah grabs a small sculpture of a fleur-de-lis and uses it to backhand Ruben in the face. The base of the sculpture makes contact with his temple and knocks him out as he falls to the floor)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LARUE MANSION ]
(Elijah and Gia are still at Josephine's home, trying to convince her to listen to their pitch)
Elijah: Ms. LaRue, we needn't be unpleasant!
Josephine: I hold no animosity, nor do I want to do you any favors. I simply want you to leave my home.
Gia: (frustrated) Screw her, Elijah. I don't see a frigging crown on her head.
Josephine: (calmly) I beg your pardon?
Gia: You're not the Queen of the Witches. You don't speak for all of them. (She sighs) You know, I can't believe I dressed up and learned how to play Beethoven. I hate Beethoven.
Josephine: (amused) And what do you like, young lady? If not for Beethoven, then what?
(Gia clears her throat and picks up her violin before she begins to play a more upbeat piece than the sonata earlier. Elijah smiles as Gia plays, and Josephine seems surprised by her talent. When she's finished, Gia puts down the violin and looks at her. Josephine smiles widely)
Josephine: Eddie South. That makes you a true jazz girl!
Gia: (incredulous) You know Eddie South?
Josephine: At one time, I nearly eloped with a jazz musician. (She frowns at the memory) Um, my mother learned of my plans and, uh... (She looks down at her swollen, arthritic hands) .. she wasn't pleased. (Gia looks at her sympathetically) Your candor is refreshing. I find most vampires more calculating... (She turns to Elijah) No offense.
Elijah: (smiles) None taken! I also, on occasion, admire her candor.
Gia: (smirks) He has great taste. (Josephine laughs at her joke, but Gia's expression turns serious) He's also a man you can trust, and I say that as someone who doesn't trust easily... (She looks at Elijah, who stares at her) .. or at all, really.
Josephine: I suppose I should just hear you out, Mr. Mikaelson.
(Elijah looks at her, clearly surprised)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
(Klaus has arrived to the cemetery, which has become dark and foggy as the day has gone by. He's walking through the aisles of tombs when his phone buzzes in his pocket. When he pulls it out, he sees it's Elijah and ignores the call before pocketing it again)
Klaus: (shouts) Finn! (He continues walking through the cemetery to look for his brother) I know you're here! The wolves tell me you've been quite active robbing graves and violating corpses! Sounds like you. (Klaus turns around to see if Finn is lurking out of sight) Why don't you just come out so we can finish this?
(The camera angle turns, revealing that Finn is standing at the end of the aisle behind Klaus)
Finn: Hello, Niklaus.
(Finn starts to walk toward Klaus, who does the same)
Klaus: Such a pedestrian greeting. How unfortunate those are to be your last words.
Finn: (incredulous) Your hubris truly knows no bounds! You attack a witch in the very place the Ancestors call home! (He wags his finger at Klaus and clicks his tongue) Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Klaus: You're a fool if you think the Ancestors give a damn about you.
Finn: (holds up his hands) They may not care for me, brother, but they hate you.
(Finn uses pyrokinesis to shoot a humongous stream of flames toward Klaus. When the flames and smoke clear, however, Klaus has already vanished, having vamp-sped on the roof of one of the nearby crypts before he could be harmed)
Klaus: You lost a step, brother, but then being blown to pieces will do that, I suppose.
(Klaus lunges toward him, so Finn uses telekinesis to throw a piece of wrought-iron fence toward Klaus. The pikes of the fence embed themselves in Klaus' chest, but aside from some discomfort and a small amount of blood coming from Klaus' mouth, it does little to anything to hurt him; all Finn can do is use his power to keep the fence pinned in place so Klaus has to struggle to remove it)
Finn: Finished so soon, my indestructible brother? Father was right about you. You're nothing but a pathetic disappointment.
Klaus: (angry) You judge me, you who cursed Kol to death? (Finn looks slightly bothered by this reminder) But you didn't stop there, did you? No. As an encore, you sought the death of an innocent child.
(Klaus finally manages to overcome Finn's telekinesis, despite his best efforts, and pulls the fence out of his chest. He then breaks off one of the pikes to use as a weapon)
Klaus: Unh! My child!
(Klaus throws the pike at Finn, and it lodges itself in his abdomen. Finn groans in pain, and Klaus vamp-speeds over to him and twists the pike in his stomach, pinning him against the wall of one of the tombs)
Klaus: For what you would have done to Hope, I'm going to enjoy making you suffer.
(Klaus pushes the pike up so that it causes even more internal damage, but he's choking Finn so hard he can barely even moan from pain)
Finn: Ahh!
(Klaus yanks out the pike from Finn's abdomen, and Finn falls weakly to the ground. Klaus holds up the pike and is about to stab him with it again when Elijah finally arrives and pulls Klaus off of him and shoves him into the tomb behind him)
Elijah: (out of breath) You didn't answer my call.
Klaus: Well, I was a little bit busy.
(Elijah looks over at Finn, who is bleeding out on the ground a couple feet away)
Elijah: I need him alive.
Klaus: I've no time for your soft-hearted sympathies. (He tugs his arm out of Elijah's grasp, but Elijah plants himself between Klaus and Finn so he can't go after him) Stand aside.
(Elijah refuses to move, and Klaus gapes at him in disbelief)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Ruben is still laying unconscious on the floor of the loft when Marcel awakens from healing his snapped neck. When he looks around, he finds Rebekah digging through Ruben's satchel of tea and herbs)
Marcel (groaning): Ugh. Mmm. Whew.
Rebekah: About bloody time you woke. (She continues searching through the satchel) I was starting to get bored.
Marcel: (confused and dizzy) How did you...?
Rebekah: Sertave beans and mizule counteract the effects of the poison. Seems all my mother's prattling about witch concoctions wasn't such a waste.
(Marcel still looks pretty out of it as he groans and rubs his aching head. He notices Ruben laying on the floor and vamps-out as he rushes toward him to finish him off, but Rebekah stops him)
Rebekah: Marcel, don't. He's just a father trying to protect his child. He doesn't deserve to die for it. I was only a parent for a few months, but I felt that same instinct.
Marcel: (hesitates for a moment) The whole time you were gone... I thought you just up and left without looking back, and then I find out you were the one protecting Hope. I had to smile. Everything you ever wanted, and you got it. As much as I really wished you were here, I was truly happy for you.
Rebekah: And as much as I wished you'd left with me, I was happy and relieved really to hear that you and Nik had made your peace here. Whatever my brother's faults, he's always been moved by acts of loyalty, as have I.
(Marcel looks uncomfortable and turns to walk away, but Rebekah grabs him by the hand)
Rebekah: Marcel... Thank you... for bothering to give a damn about an old flame.
(Marcel considers this for a moment before smiling at her)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ LAFAYETTE CEMETERY ]
(Elijah and Klaus are still bickering while Finn lays bleeding on the ground, coughing and sputtering up more blood as time goes on)
Klaus: Let him die, Elijah!
Elijah: The witches want that body returned unharmed.
Klaus: (angry) And what else do they want? A parade? Free broomsticks for all?
Elijah: This alliance could be greatly beneficial to us all.
Klaus: (interrupts him) Yes? Well, currying some witch's favor does not concern me.
(Suddenly, Freya appears next to them)
Freya: It should. (She stops when she's joined them, and she smiles) Witch allies can prove valuable.
(She walks over to where Finn is laying as Elijah and Klaus gape in confusion)
Finn: Freya... Freya, help me.
Freya: (kneels next to him) Don't worry, brother. I won't let them hurt you. (She uses her fingers to lift the blue pendant on her talisman toward him as she starts to cast a spell) Yovara vimuna virael. (As she chants, her pendant starts to glow bright blue, and Finn suddenly starts to scream in agony as his body is healed) Yovara vimuna virael.
(Once the spell is done, Vincent/Finn sits up in shock and stares up at the three Mikaelsons in horror)
Vincent: (scared) Who are you?
(Klaus looks at Freya in confusion and curiosity as she holds out two fingers and makes a sweeping motion over Vincent's face)
Freya: Sleep.
(As she speaks, Vincent suddenly falls unconscious onto the ground. Elijah and Klaus gape at her in shock)
Klaus: What did you do to him?
Freya: holds up her pendant)[/i] Finn is now safe from harm, and his hatred of you can no longer do damage to our cause.
Elijah: (suspicious) Our cause?
Freya: Yes. Ours. And now, if you two can stop arguing long enough, perhaps you'll allow your older sister to offer you a deal.
Klaus: What could you possibly offer us besides fairy tales and lies?
Freya: Whatever you may think of me, brother, know this... When I speak to you, it is the truth. If you have any doubts, remember that it was I who rescued Rebekah from the Fauline Cottage.
Elijah: And was it not also you who led Finn on his vile mission to take Hope's life?
Freya: The threat to hope came from Finn, not me. (She looks down at the ground, clearly upset by the thought) The brother I knew would never have stooped to threaten a child. Our mother destroyed him like she did me, (She turns to Klaus) .. you, everything she touched.
Klaus: (appalled) Do not speak as though we are familiars. We know nothing of you.
(Freya holds up each of her hands so that they are facing Klaus and Elijah's faces, and they both receive a vision/memory of Freya being taken by Dahlia, as first seen in Wheel Inside the Wheel)
[ FLASHBACK - KINGDOM OF NORWAY, 10TH CENTURY ]
(Dahlia has just picked up the young Freya and is leaving with her as Esther and young Finn both cry in despair. Freya is hysterical and screaming)
Esther: I cannot give up my child! No, Dahlia, please!
Freya: (shrieks) Mommy! Mama!
[ END FLASHBACK ]
Freya: (ends the vision) Do you think me a liar?
Klaus: That proves nothing but your ability to conjure illusions.
Freya: Before you dismiss me, you should know this: if I've woken from my slumber, Dahlia has as well. Once she's sensed your child's magic, she will come for her, and she has the power to kill anyone who stands in her way unless we kill her first.
Klaus: That's quite convenient, isn't it? You show up in the nick of time to help us kill the woman with whom you've spent a thousand years!
Freya: (frustrated and angry) You have no idea what it took to escape her or what I lost in the trying. Her punishment will be profound.
Elijah: (sympathetically) And you know how to stop her?
Freya: Given the proper materials, yes. I've sent Father to procure them.
Klaus: (furious) You put the life of my child in the hands of Mikael?
(He angrily storms off, but when Elijah calls his name, he stops walking)
Elijah: Niklaus. This woman has knowledge of the threat we now face and is willing to share that information.
Klaus: Well, you'll excuse me, Elijah, if I'm not inclined to trust the mysterious sister we only just met, but by all means, if you wish to entertain this idiocy, have at it.
(Klaus vamp-speeds away before Elijah can argue any further, leaving him alone in the cemetery with Freya and the unconscious Vincent)
Freya: Thank you. (She smiles at him shyly) Your kindness is much appreciated.
Elijah: I may be willing to accept your identity, Freya. Doesn't mean I trust you.
Freya: Then I will look forward to earning that trust.
(She turns and leaves the cemetery)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
(Hayley is in the nursery, where she is holding a shrieking Hope and desperately trying to soothe her by rocking her, to no avail)
Hayley: Shh. It's okay, I'm here. (Hope continues screaming and crying) Oh, please stop crying. You're giving me a complex.
(Jackson, having heard Hope's cries, enters the nursery to check on them. Hayley notices him in the doorway and sighs)
Hayley: Is it possible that I am the worst mother on the planet?
Jackson: (smiles and walks over to take the baby in his arms) You're a great mother. (He looks at Hope as he snuggles her against his chest) Come here. Come here.
(Hope continues to cry, and Hayley rubs her forehead as though she has a headache as she turns and watches Jackson hold her)
Jackson: (to Hope) Shh. (He turns to Hayley) Aiden's back. We lost Jerick.
Hayley: (stunned) What?
Jackson: (saddened) Mikael got him.
Hayley: (clutches her heart in shock) Jack, I am so sorry.
Jackson: (rubs Hope's back soothingly) Thing is, we could have lost a whole lot more, but Aiden played it right, kept them scattered instead of grouped. Smart move.
Hayley: Well, he learned from you.
Jackson: Did he? It's not what I told him to do. My way would have all been a slaughter.
(After a moment, Hayley realizes that Hope has stopped crying, and seems both impressed by Jackson and relieved at the silence)
Hayley: (surprised) She's quiet!
Jackson: (smiles) Told you. I'm good with kids.
(Jackson gently puts Hope down in the new crib he made her while Hayley looks at him from the doorway. She walks toward him to watch as Hope stays asleep even after being put to bed. Jackson's hand brushes against Hayley's, and they stare at each other for a moment before they start to make out passionately. After a short moment, they remember that they're right in front of the baby, and pull each other into Hayley's room. Jackson lays Hayley down on the bed and they continue kissing until Hayley rolls them so that she's on top. She takes off her shirt as they begin to have s*x)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT ]
(Rebekah is reading the files that Elijah got from Josephine about Eva Sinclair when Marcel comes over and sits down next to her before handing her a glass of bourbon)
Rebekah: (sighs) Ruben was right. It's all in here, every horrible thing Eva Sinclair has ever done.
Marcel: Well, if you ask me, it's a good thing you took over her body. Anyone who does this kind of stuff to kids has it coming.
Rebekah: Marcel, it doesn't matter what she's done. I've still appropriated her body without her consent.
Marcel: I'm not going to argue with you, Rebekah. I'm just saying maybe it's a public service, but I get why it's complicated. (He smiles) I mean, it makes sense why you won't kiss me.
Rebekah: It's why I wouldn't kiss you if I wanted to, (She lowers her voice to a whisper) .. which I don't.
(She takes a drink of her bourbon, and Marcel chuckles)
Marcel: (in disbelief) Mm-hmm.
Rebekah: (smirks) I don't, Marcel.
Marcel: (smiles) Keep telling yourself that.
(He takes her empty glass and goes back to the bar. Once he's gone, she sighs loudly, clearly conflicted)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MIKAELSON COMPOUND ]
(Klaus has just returned home, and smiles as he dotes on Hope, who is awake in her crib in the nursery, but isn't crying like she was before. Hayley comes into the nursery, wearing her bathrobe, and joins him)
Hayley: (whispers) You can thank Jackson for the quiet.
(Klaus smile falls a little bit at this news. Hayley gestures for him to join her out in the hall, and he reluctantly leaves Hope to follow her)
Klaus: You will be pleased to know that Finn is no longer a problem. However, there are other dangers on the horizon. My father is on the loose. I need you to use your pack to find him.
Hayley: (frowns) No. We already lost one of ours today, a good man. I won't let any more wolves die, Klaus.
Klaus: (frustrated) Mikael is a threat to our child!
Hayley: Mikael is a threat to you. The pack will protect Hope if he comes, but I'm not going to let you use them just to settle your old scores!
Klaus: (angry) Let me be as clear as possible: Your pack, your friends, your husband are a necessary means to keeping our daughter safe, but I am not running a charity hostel here. (Hayley glares at him) If they are not fighting on my side, then they will not remain alive to fight at all.
(Klaus goes to storm off again, but Hayley shoves him backward to stop him)
Hayley: You do what you need to do to keep her safe, Klaus. I'll do the same, but if you ever, ever use her to try to manipulate me again, it will be the last time that you see either of us.
(Hayley angrily walks away from him, leaving Klaus looking furious out in the hallway)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ ELIJAH'S LOFT ]
(Elijah and Gia have returned to his apartment, where Vincent is still unconscious and laying in one of Elijah's bedrooms with several vampires guarding him. Elijah and Gia are discussing their day in the living area)
Gia: I take it you got your man?
(Elijah takes off his coat and helps Gia take off hers as well before going to hang them up)
Elijah: Vincent Griffith is alive and free of my brother Finn's influence. Once I've questioned him to my satisfaction, I shall release him once again to the witches.
Gia: So, it all worked out! (She sits on the couch) And yet, I don't recall hearing, "Nice job, Gia. Really appreciate the help."
Elijah: Yes. Forgive me. I was a little tied up, trying to prevent Niklaus from being... well... Niklaus, but, yes, nice job, Gia. Really appreciate the help.
(He hands her a bottle of beer before sitting down next to her with his own bottle. Gia looks at him incredulously)
Gia: (drinks her drink) You like beer?
Elijah: I'm adapting to my audience.
(He takes a drink of his own beer after examining the bottle for a moment)
Gia: Hmm. (She pauses for a moment) You knew she'd like me.
Elijah: (smiles) Once upon a time, Josephine was rather rebellious. This is a trait you seem to exhibit in spades. However, circumstances all but extinguished that quality in her. Had she known that you were coming, she never would have welcomed us into her home, (Gia looks impressed) .. nor would she have been swayed by your... What was it she called it?
Gia: (smug) Candor!
Elijah: Candor.
Gia: (stares at him for a moment) Is everything always ten steps ahead of the game with you?
Elijah: Well, often victory is allowing your opponent to believe that they are triumphant... 'til they're not.
Gia: (smiles) Okay. Just remember who sealed the deal.
Elijah: Credit where credit is due.
(He holds out his beer in cheers to her, and they clink their bottles together)
Gia: Mmm. (Elijah nervously tugs at his tie to loosen it) I told you you needed a woman to mess things up for you.
(She starts loosening Elijah's tie with her fingers, and he looks surprised at the touch. The two stare at each other for a long moment as Gia stands up and faces him)
Gia: You never told me if you like me in this dress.
Elijah: (smiles) You're right, I didn't.
Gia: Zipper's stuck. (She turns so her back is to him) Help me out of it?
(They both look anxious as Elijah stands up and moves so he is right behind Gia, staring at her back for a moment before he unzips her dress. He hesitates before starting to pull the sleeves of the dress down, baring Gia's shoulders. He then pulls her toward him so he can start kissing her neck from behind. Gia exhales as Elijah continues pulling her dress off, and after a long moment, she turns so she can face him. Klaus begins to narrate in voiceover as they begin to hook up)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ CLOSING MONTAGE ]
(Elijah and Gia continue making out before they begin to have s*x)
Klaus: (voiceover) In every moment, a choice exists. We can cling to the past or embrace the inevitability of change...
(At the Mikaelson compound, Jackson and Hayley are laying in their bed with Hope laying on her back in between them)
Klaus: (voiceover) .. and allow a brighter future to unfold for us.
(In the bell tower of St. Louis' Cathedral, Freya has hung her talisman from a hook on the ceiling, and is smiling as she touches the pendant with her fingers)
Klaus: (voiceover) Such an uncertain future may cause for even more uncertain allies.
(At Marcel's loft, Rebekah has fallen asleep on Marcel's couch with her file strewn all around her. Marcel sees her sleeping and walks over to cover her with a blanket as he stares at her affectionately)
Klaus: Either way, a new day is coming, whether we like it or not. The question is will you control it, or will it control you?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ BYWATER TAVERN ]
(The scene cuts to the bar, revealing that Klaus' voiceover was actually him having a conversation with Aiden over drinks at the tavern)
Klaus: You know, for centuries, werewolf Alphas have lived as kings of a frightened or cursed people, forced to change every month on the full moon, but now your pack is cured. You can change at will. (Aiden nods silently in agreement) You are at peace, and yet Jackson takes his leadership for granted. He doesn't see that we live in a new world, which is precisely why the wolves need a new leader, someone chosen by the wolves to guide them into a new future, someone like you. I can help you become the leader your pack deserves.
Aiden: (smiles sarcastically) Yeah? And what's in it for you?
Klaus: In return, I would only ask that you and your pack swear to protect my daughter. That is all I will ever ask of you because that is all that matters to me. (Aiden considers this for a moment) You can let me know when you're ready, but do bear in mind that time is forever ticking forward, which means that tomorrow... (He taps on the glass of Aiden's wristwatch) .. is already here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MARCEL'S LOFT / ACROSS THE RIVER ]
(It's night time, and Rebekah is still sleeping on the couch at Marcel's apartment when her eyes suddenly snap open. The scene cuts to her walking through the same market from earlier in the episode. All of the salespeople are gone, and the only other people in the alley are a teenage boy and a teenage girl who are making out at the end of the street. Rebekah's holding herself differently, and her posture is hunched over as she walks with her hands in her pockets)
Rebekah: (speaks with a low, raspy voice) You kids should know better. (The teenagers stop making out at look at her, scared and guilty for being caught) It's not safe to be out this late. You never know who you'll run into... (The teens are both unnerved, and the young boy stands in front of the girl protectively) Ghosts, goblins... Eva Sinclair.
(The kids realize who she is and immediately gasp in terror as Eva pulls her hand out of her pocket, revealing that she is actually Eva, who has regained control of her body while Rebekah was sleeping. Eva has a knife in her hand, which she quickly uses to slit the throat of the young boy. The young girl screams in horror)
Teenage girl: Aah!
(The boy clutches his neck and gasps before he crumples to the ground and dies. The girl jumps down from where she was sitting to run over to him)
Teenage girl: Sam! No!
(Eva holds out her hand and casts a pain infliction spell to incapacitate her long enough to get her in a choke-hold)
Eva: Don't be scared! I'm not gonna kill you... (She holds up her knife and puts the tip of the blade against the girl's forehead) Not until I have taken every little bit of your power.
(She starts carving a sacrificial magic sigil into the girl's forehead. Suddenly, Eva flashes back to carving the symbol into the foreheads of numerous children and young adults in the past. Once she's done carving the sigil into the girl's forehead in the present day, she gasps in pleasure as she feels the power of the young witch's magic being channeled into her)
[ END ]
|
Plan: A: a coven; Q: What group of witches does Rebekah have a run-in with? A: vengeful witches; Q: What kind of witches are they? A: Rebekah; Q: Who is in danger? A: Marcel; Q: Who does Rebekah align with? A: a checkered past; Q: What kind of past does Rebekah's body have? A: Elijah; Q: Who seeks out Josephine? A: her assistance; Q: What does Elijah hope Josephine will offer? A: tensions; Q: What builds when Klaus clashes with Hayley and Jackson? A: baby Hope; Q: Who is Klaus trying to protect? A: Freya; Q: Who convinces Finn to bring her to Mikael? A: a confrontation; Q: What do Elijah and Klaus have with Freya? Summary: When a dangerous run-in with a coven of vengeful witches forces Rebekah to align with Marcel, they quickly discover that the body Rebekah is currently inhabiting has a checkered past. Upon learning that Rebekah is in danger, Elijah seeks out a respected elder witch, Josephine, in the hopes she might offer her assistance. Meanwhile, tensions build when Klaus clashes with Hayley and Jackson over how best to protect baby Hope from Finn. Elsewhere, Freya, convinces Finn to bring her to Mikael, the father she hasn't seen in over a thousand years. Lastly, a confrontation with Freya leaves Elijah and Klaus questioning whether they can trust their long-lost sister.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Boy: (screaming)
Mary: You're free of my son, but his brother is still here.
Sentinel: Come Black Sunday, my true brothers will rise from hell and stand beside me.
Mary: This is his weapon.
Cotton: Red Mercury. I want nothing of it.
I have others to think of.
Gloriana: My baby.
Anne: Cotton's baby.
Mercy: You're asking me to marry you.
Hathorne: This business of love. All this must be one.
Mercy: But there remains one obstacle. Isaac.
Isaac: No tears. You are the luckiest girl I know.
Tituba: Everything you need to kill an angel. You must forge a dagger with that in it and kill him with the dagger.
Mary: You can do whatever you want to me. Just not here.
Sebastian: Yes. Alden will most likely think it all a dream in the morning, but he'll never forget what he has seen.
Cotton: What lies beyond that door?
Sentinel: Beyond that door lies hell itself.
(doors creak)
(horse neighing)
(wind whistling)
(woman crying)
(crying continues)
Mother: Dorcas, my sweet child!
Dorcas: Mama?
Mother: Help me.
(crying continues)
Dorcas: Is it really you?
Mother: Come to me, little one.
(sinister music plays)
Dorcas: (screams)
(doors creak)
("Cupid Carries A Gun" plays)
♪ Pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ Witch drums ♪ ♪ Pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ Pound me the witch drums ♪ ♪ The witch drums ♪ ♪ Better pray for hell ♪ ♪ Not hallelujah ♪
(clicking)
(clang)
(door creaks)
Dinley: Oh, co... come in, my lord.
You're... You're most welcome. You're most welcome.
(door shuts)
Sentinel: The instrument...
Dinley: Oh, my God.
Sentinel: will be placed here, in your trust.
But be very careful. The instrument is filled with Red Mercury. When the hammer strikes, all will blow.
(ticking)
Your work has not gone unnoticed.
Dinley: Thank you. Thank you.
Sentinel: You are a flesh artist.
Dinley: Thank you.
Sentinel: And in the new Commonwealth of Hell that we shall build on this earth, you may carve mountains of flesh if you like...
Dinley: Just tell me what am I to do.
Sentinel: Guard the instrument. Let no man disturb it. And if you would survive, come to the Sibley Mansion before the clock strikes on Sunday.
Dinley: Can I offer you food or a drink?
Sentinel: I have no taste for food. But drink, I like. It briefly restores lost wings.
Dinley: Try this.
Sentinel: (gasps)
Dinley: Gin.
Sentinel: It burns. I like it.
(door opens, shuts)
Cotton: What is it?
Mary: I did it. He's dead.
Cotton: Who?
You mean...
Mary: Yes. Torn apart. Left for the animals to eat, if they dare. Now, will you help me?
Cotton: If you have killed the boy and sent the devil back to hell, then what more do you need?
Sentinel: b*st*rd Samael!
(indistinct yelling)
You old b*st*rd!
Cotton: Who is that bellowing?
(Sentinel shouting in ancient language)
Sebastian: I believe it is our host.
You are most industrious, my lady. No rest for the wicked. What conspiracies do you spin now?
Mary: You know very well. The job is but half done. We still need to take him out.
Sentinel: Samael! You... You wanted to be king, brother. Do you like your little kingdom? Ohh. His royal court. Come to bow and scrape? It makes no difference to me. I want no worship and no worshippers.
Mary: Then what do you want? Now that all that was his is yours.
Sentinel: To complete the task. As intended. Without any distraction... from you. N-No. You're no threat to me or mine now. None of you are. I... I don't share my late brother's ambition to be God, nor... nor to marry my mother, nor even to destroy all of mankind, although I don't particularly mind if I do. All I want is to free my fallen angels and make Earth their new home. Black Sunday is still coming. Death and destruction to Salem. Do not imagine you have killed my brother. You have only destroyed his mortal self... merely sent him back to hell. Now, more than ever, it is imperative that none of you open the wrong doors. Do not let that boy back in.
(horse snorting)
(horse neighs)
Isaac: Dorcas?
(horse squeals)
Easy, boy. Easy. It's only me. Easy. Dorcas?
(ominous music plays)
Cotton: Anne?
Anne?!
Anne: Cheese!
Cotton: Cheese.
Anne: Mm! Mm! I have been craving cheese. And... oh, cornbread. (inhales deeply) And beans.
Cotton: Beans.
Anne: Oh, beans. I shall have the beans on the cornbread, with the cheese.
Cotton: My love...
Anne: Pregnancy is hungry work.
Cotton: My love, the boy is dead, or at least banished back to hell.
Anne: How?
Cotton: A mass sacrifice of witches. It was orchestrated by Mary Sibley... the Essex Hive. Their tree tore him limb from limb.
Anne: So, we are safe.
Cotton: No. Not quite. The Sentinel still lives. But I do begin to hope that we may be able to stop all this from happening.
Anne: "We"?
Cotton: Yes. Mary Sibley, Sebastian Marburg, John Alden, and I.
Anne: Cotton, they are not your friends. You cannot trust them.
Cotton: No, but my enemy's enemy will have to do in such dark times. Now, please move into the mansion now... no more waiting.
Anne: I am ready to quit this house and move today, but why must you take so much risk? You have me and the baby to think of.
Cotton: And that is why I must risk so much, my love. So that our little hope may yet grow up in God's country and not the devil's. Please move into the mansion. In case I fail.
(indistinct conversations)
Isaac: Something's happened to her.
I know it.
Man: They're ready for you.
Isaac: You need to keep looking for her while I'm in there.
Man: I will.
Isaac: I'll be out as soon as I can. Put those two outside. And keep everyone away. Mary. You live? Now I believe anything's possible.
Mary: Let's hope so, old friend. Now, gentlemen, we have less than 48 hours to save Salem.
Isaac: With respect, Mary. It's the people that matter... not the town. So why not lead them out of here?
John: The woods are full of enemies. So, unless you have a fleet of ships that can sail every man, woman, and child out of here, I think it's best that we save this town.
Isaac: Please forgive me. While you work to save all our lives, I must see to one small but... precious life. My men guard the door. No one will disturb you. If anyone can save the people of this town, it's you two together.
Mary: Every one of us is needed now... as every one of us have played our role in this resistance.
Sebastian: What role was it that Captain Alden played? Remind me. Apart, that is, from siring the brat in the first place and then running away?
John: I can take out the Sentinel.
Mary: How?
John: Tituba gave me instructions.
Mary: Tituba? When?
John: Does it matter?
Mary: I'm not sure. Maybe. Go on.
John: Following her instructions... I've forged a dagger that can kill a fallen angel.
Sebastian: Good work, blacksmith. Why not hand it over to a swordsman.
John: What I need is help making sure he is someplace I can drag him into a dark alley and get the job done.
Cotton: I-I think I can do that. I have a certain dialogue with the creature. I believe I can draw him out.
Mary: Good. I will seek out Tituba and inform her of the boy's destruction. But even if Captain Alden succeeds, there still remains a great task.
John: Yes. Ridding Salem of every last witch.
Sebastian: This from the world's least effective witch hunter. Who couldn't even find one in the bed beside him.
Mary: The Sentinel has made it clear that he has armed his instrument. The Red Mercury is somewhere in Salem, all ready to do its work of destruction... with or without him.
Sebastian: I know where it is. But I shall not be sharing that information just yet. I'm aware of how most of you feel about me, and I would have some insurance that I am not fated to go the same way as the boy and his Sentinel. No. I intend to make myself a necessary part of your plans.
John: You selfish, sick, murdering b*st*rd.
Sebastian: Ohh!
John: (groaning)
Mary: Whatever is between you... now is not the time. We have a common goal to stop Black Sunday. To save our future.
John: (groaning)
Sebastian: You're right. We mustn't let petty jealousies get in the way of our goal. Now I suggest we part. To avoid arousing suspicion, we should leave singly... in case we're discovered. Shall we?
Mary: Singly. Remember? So as not to arouse suspicion.
Sentinel: (snoring)
Boy: You should close his mouth, or the flies will get in.
(snoring continues)
My brother cannot hold his liquor.
In our pure state, angels... fallen or otherwise... never sleep. Even in my child's body, I did not so lower myself, but my brother is made of grosser stuff. Do not trust him. And do not trust Mary Sibley.
Anne: (panting)
Boy: Not if you value your life, Cotton Mather's life, and the life of your child to come.
Anne: What do you mean?
Boy: Only I can guarantee the safety of your would-be family. You, Mather, the child... will live long lives of royalty and privilege in my kingdom. All you must do is let me in. Turn the handle.
Anne: But it is locked.
Boy: Not for you it isn't. You're a witch. I gave you power. Use it!
Cotton: Anne! Stay away from that door at all costs. Do not open it.
Anne: What makes you think I was going to?
Cotton: I have watched you standing there entranced these last few moments.
Anne: What is behind it?
Cotton: Hell. The three of us may yet have a chance at a happy life. We may be able to stop all this madness. (sharply) Anne.
(birds chirping)
(indistinct talking)
Mary: I am no toy. Do not play with me.
John: I know why you did what you did... and I forgive you.
Mary: You forgive me?
You should be begging for my forgiveness.
John: Tell me you don't enjoy his touch.
Mary: I cannot command my body. But my heart felt nothing. It curdled inside me every time he... he touched me. And I had to endure it. And beg for more. Why? For us, John. Are you really as dense as he says you are? The only reason I'm going to Tituba is to learn about the weapon. She's a seer. If she knows a way to stop this... this bomb, then we won't need Sebastian, and I can cease this charade once and for all.
John: Even after he protected you in that house? You don't feel any fondness or affection for him?
Mary: (sighs) Not a drop.
John: Forgive my density. That's all I needed to hear.
Mary: (sighs) We are such fools in love, aren't we?
John: And I am the greatest fool of them all.
Mary: I must go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(light whimpering)
Mercy: Your clever Mercy lured the waif out with the voice of her dear departed mother.
Hathorne: Nothing incites a mob to violence faster than a threat against a child.
Dorcas: (moans)
Hathorne: Shh! Quiet.
We are trying to restore your reputation, not blacken it.
Mercy: I didn't just do it for me. Isaac's growing stature and real power in Knockers Hole represents the greatest threat to your hold on Salem. Something had to be done. You should be thanking me.
Hathorne: (scoffs)
Mercy: Don't walk away from me. I've such grand plans for us.
(chuckles)
Hathorne: (sighs)
Dorcas: (muffled screaming)
(birds chirping)
Mary: Tituba. I do not have magic to open this door.
You must let me in. The boy is dead. But at the cost of all our sisters.
Tituba: The power of sacrifice. Well played.
Mary: Yes. It is but a partial victory.
Tituba: You are tired. Sit down. I will do that for you. Sit!
Mary: I thought you were no longer my servant.
Tituba: But I am your host. Here.
Mary: Thank you.
(sighs)
You told John to kill the Sentinel. Armed him for it.
Tituba: I did.
Mary: Why not aim him at the boy? I mean, they're both fallen angels. What would kill one would surely kill the other.
Tituba: I am the seer. I foresaw that you would handle that.
Mary: Your blind eyes... They see so much. Have you seen where they've hidden the weapon?
Tituba: My eyes cannot be everywhere at once, but my cat will search the town for the weapon.
Sentinel: (groans lightly)
Cotton: No. Try Bishop... to C4. Check.
Sentinel: (laughs) Check! I wish I could see his face at that!
Cotton: When's the last time you did?
Sentinel: What?
Cotton: See God's face.
Sentinel: When I was falling, I caught a glimpse of that great cloud raining down disappointment... upon me. But it was ever so.
Cotton: I think I know what you mean. I myself had a very disapproving father.
Sentinel: I've often wondered what it would have felt like to look him in the face as I killed Him.
Cotton: It would've felt awful. Trust me. I should know.
Sentinel: You killed your father?
Cotton: Yes. It felt like swallowing a stone. One that would weigh inside me forever. But it didn't.
Sentinel: You forgave yourself?
Cotton: No. He forgave me.
Sentinel: My father is incapable of forgiveness... at least when it comes to my kind.
Cotton: With you I think it's possible to know everything, and yet understand nothing.
Sentinel: You're very bold today, Mather.
Cotton: Facing the end of the world as I know it seems to have that effect on me.
Sentinel: I never would have guessed that.
Cotton: What else might there be that you don't know about us? Given that you're bringing about our imminent destruction, perhaps it would be wise to get a taste of the life that God bestowed on his... favorite creation.
Sentinel: Perhaps you're right. I should know more about humanity, but truth be told, my head aches.
Cotton: That's called a hangover.
Sentinel: Mm.
Cotton: What you need is a hair of the hound that bit you.
Sentinel: No hound bit me, and I don't eat hounds or their hair.
Cotton: I know... it's an expression. A metaphor. See, another thing you don't understand about us is that we oftentimes say one thing to mean another. We use nonsense to... to make sense.
Sentinel: You're right. I don't understand. And you're making my headache worse.
Cotton: What I mean to say is, I know what you need.
Sentinel: Which is?
Cotton: More gin.
Sebastian: She'll never love me. I've been such a fool.
Countess Marburg: There, there. You have always been a fool, but my fool. Are you at last ready?
Sebastian: For what?
Countess Marburg: To make her pay.
Sebastian: Yes. No one has ever played with me like Mary Sibley. And Mary Sibley must pay.
Countess Marburg: Oh, she will. First, bring me the rest of her blood.
Boy: Let me in.
Anne: (gasps)
(breathing heavily)
Leave me alone. (panting)
Sentinel: Do they intend to rip each other's arms off? It's an odd way to do battle.
Cotton: No... sometimes when we fight, it is merely play.
Sentinel: Play?
Cotton: Mm. Yes, play. For the sport of it. Fun. The challenge.
Sentinel: To what end?
Cotton: To no end. That's what makes it play.
(men cheering)
(music continues)
Sentinel: That hurts me.
In the most delightful way.
Cotton: Music. Plays the heart's strings.
Sentinel: Another one of your metaphors?
Cotton: Yes. See... man is a metaphor. Man is a mixed thing. Man is part matter... (sets mug down) Part spirit. Part angel. Part animal.
Sentinel: Mostly animal.
Cotton: Indeed. Come.
(music continues)
(indistinct talking)
(whispering) Look. Does their devotion not move you?
(indistinct praying)
Sentinel: You praise him because you fear him.
Cotton: Okay.
Sentinel: And...
Cotton: Sorry.
Sentinel: I know. We did, too!
Cotton: Good day, everyone!
Sentinel: We all did.
Cotton: Go.
Boy: Sebastian!
Put it down! Put it down, you sniveling son of a whore!
(loud clattering)
(indistinct conversations)
Sentinel: We need more gin.
Cotton: Yes, and food, I think.
It will prevent hangovers. Ah. Oranges.
Sentinel: Mmm!
Cotton: Bread. To soak up the gin. Ah. That's butter. The two go together.
Sentinel: More orange. Orange man.
Man: That'll be two pence.
Sentinel: Mather has the money.
Man: Then Mather can have the orange.
Cotton: Hey! Sorry. Sorry. I will buy the oranges. However many he wants. (stammering) The basket. Yes, I'll take a basket... of oranges. Thank you. Go!
Sentinel: Oranges, I like. We shall keep those in our Commonwealth.
Woman: Gin!
Sentinel: And the bread.
Woman: Bottles of gin!
Cotton: And the gin.
Sentinel: Yes. Gin... I like.
(indistinct shouting)
I like other things, too.
(slap) MERCY: Ahh.
Hathorne: You've been a bad girl.
(slap) MERCY: (moaning)
Harder. (slap)
(moans)
(slapping continues)
The high and mighty Cotton Mather is here.
Hathorne: Alone?
Sentinel: This need to copulate. To thrive and spurt. Even animals only rut in season. This urge besets you night and day. I just don't understand it.
(coins clinking)
Cotton: Let me enlighten you.
Mercy: Do you recognize him?
Hathorne: No, I don't.
Probably some foreign merchant. Wealthy.
Mercy: I think, perhaps, a reverend is just what we need.
Cotton: Ladies.
(laughs)
(soft, seductive music plays)
(indistinct whispering)
Mercy Bird: (laughs)
Mm. Such broad shoulders. And so tall.
(gasps)
I bet those arms could reach all the way up to heaven. Come, darling. Tell me what you like.
Sentinel: What I like? I like oranges and gin.
Mercy Bird: (chuckles)
Cotton: No, no. No. I'm a happily married man.
(clears throat)
(women cooing)
(gasps)
Hathorne: Reverend!
What a welcome surprise to find you here.
Cotton: What are you doing here?
Hathorne: Looking for you, dear friend. Please... you are needed. A matter of spiritual urgency.
Isaac: Dorcas!
(indistinct conversations)
Dorcas! Dorcas!
Man: I'm drunk.
Woman: Back for a short time, sir? Or a long time?
Man: Sir.
Hathorne: Poor Mercy. She was hardly the only victim of Mary Sibley's lust for power. And I knew when I saw her sparkling like an unpolished diamond in this den of iniquity, that I had to free her from the cruel circumstances this heartless town had condemned her to.
(woman moaning)
Cotton: You are a good and godly man, Magistrate Hathorne.
Hathorne: I am.
Cotton: Surely love is where we find it.
Mercy: And we have indeed found it.
Or it found us. Maybe?
Hathorne: (breathes deeply)
Mercy: Will you help us tonight, Reverend?
Cotton: I will try. "Marriage... marriage is an honorable estate... and not to be entered into lightly... Soberly, and in the fear of God." Lovers... Lovers may be lunatics. And lovers may be beyond the reach of reason... and law. And true lovers... true lovers do not desire only love. They desire... (sighs) they desire marriage.
Hathorne: Hm.
Cotton: For if their love is the truest and... and noblest love conceivable, then those lovers are only relieved by... by both being happy slaves... to one another.
Sentinel: (moaning loudly)
(both moaning)
Sentinel: (moaning softly)
Cotton: You may now kiss the bride.
(cheers and applause)
Sentinel: Do you have any oranges?
Hathorne: We are married.
Mercy: (giggles)
(happy chatter)
(indistinct talking)
(man laughs)
(drunken laughter and indistinct talking)
(thunder crashes)
Sentinel: (laughs)
An assassin. Have you any idea who I am?
John: I know exactly who you are.
Sentinel: (groans) Your dagger. I am betrayed!
(both grunting)
John: (groans)
Sentinel: Only my brother could have told you how to forge such a weapon!
John: (coughs) It wasn't your brother.
Sentinel: Then it was one of his agents.
But I have no intention of dying.
(yells)
Aah!
(sizzling)
(both screaming)
(gasping)
I would have liked one... more orange.
Sebastian: I've brought the rest of Mary Sibley's blood, just as you asked.
Countess Marburg: (sighing) Now it begins.
Mary: (groans)
(ticking)
(ticking intensifies)
|
Plan: A: all hell; Q: What do the mortal enemies come together to keep from breaking loose? Summary: Mortal enemies come together in order to keep all hell from literally breaking loose.
|
Ted from 2030: Now kids, When aunt Robin was the teenager. She was, well, the Canadian pop star. But by 2008, she was the entirely different person.
Robin is presenting the news.
Robin: Coming up next, 'Is your baby trying to kill you?'
At the Bar
Ted from 2030: Which maybe events that week, all the more surprising.
Ted: So, I got up this morning, its freezing. So I walked over there. And I don't know why I am still talking. Because clearly we are all asking the same question. What in God's creation is going on with Robin's breasts.
Robin: I know, right, isn't that amazing? I spent half an hour making these happen. Its tape in there, cotton balls, half of a Nerf football, but it works, right?
Lily: Totally. What's the occasion?
Robin: And old friend from Canada is in town and I'm meeting him for a drink.
Barney: Ooh! Somebody you went to Degrassi with?
Robin: No. Actually, he was my first boyfriend.
[FLASHBACK]
A young man is at the beach, Robin joins him.
Robin: Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. He smelled like Drakkar. He could ollie on a skateboard. He had the most amazing collection of Hard Rock Cafe T-shirts. We spent the whole summer madly in love.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Barney: Tell me more. Tell me more. Like, did he have a car?
Marshall: So he's the guy who... How shall I say this like a gentleman? Robin, did he take your maple leaf?
Robin: No, it wasn't like that.
Barney: Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face.
Ted from 2030: This went on for a really long time. Some of them jokes were elegant and well-crafted...
Lily: Wait, wait. Did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that Inuit?
(laughing)
Ted from 2030:...others were crude, and ill-formed...
Ted: Um, something about fur trapping. Ted from 2030:...and others were obvious, but needed to be said...
Barney: Did you ride his Zamboni?
Marshall: Wait, wait, wait. Did he...? I think I'm out.
Ted: Yeah, I'm also "oot. Okay, now I'm really out.
Robin: Well, I'm sorry, guys. It was all very tame. We only dated for a week and a half.
Barney: Wha...? I thought you said you were together all summer.
Robin: Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July. Anyway, one night, his band just finish playing this gig...
[FLASHBACK]
Robin is lifting a big box into the trunk of a van.
Robin: Oh, my God! Simon. That was such a good show. You guys totally rocked out.
Simon: Yeah. I know. I figure we're about four or five gigs away from really exploding. We're gonna be big, babe. I mean, like Crash-Test-Dummies big. So, that everything? All right. Listen, babe... It's over.
Robin: What?
Simon: I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Lily: Louise Marsh?! That's a whore's name if I ever heard one.
Marshall: Yeah, why would he want to get back together with Louise Marsh?
[FLASHBACK]
Simon: Well, the thing is... her folks just put in a pool.
Robin: Oh... So... I totally... I get it. Pools are great. Swimming's awesome. We have a sprinkler. Run right through it. Well, I should go.
Simon: Uh... Babe, wait.
Robin: Yeah, Simon?
Simon: You forgot to load the drum set.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Ted: No! Tell me you did not load the drum set.
Robin: I did.
Marshall: And now he's coming here? Robin, why do you want to see this guy?
Lily: Oh! I know why. You're gonna win, aren't you?
Robin: I have no idea what you' talking about.
Ted: Yes, you do. Whenever you haven't seen someone for a long time, no matter how much you want to deny it, there's always a clear winner and a clear loser.
Robin: Well, since you brought it up, let's add up the points.
Barney: You're starting out with two big ones right there.
Robin: Thank you. Okay. So, Simon still lives with his mom.
Ted: Point Robin.
Robin: Um, he never became a rock star.
Lily: Point Robin.
Robin: He now works at a water slide park outside of Ottawa.
Marshall: Point Simon.
Ted: Wait. Do they have a wave pool?
Robin: No.
Marshall: Ah. Point Robin. That's five-zip. There's no coming back from that.
Robin: Yeah, he's going down. I mean, unless somehow, he got hotter. There he is.
Ted from 2030: And sure enough, there was a clear winner, and a clear loser. It just wasn't clear to everybody.
Simon: Hey, babe.
Robin, giggling: Oh, my God.
[OPENING CREDITS]
At the apartment
Ted: Okay, what the hell just happened?
Robin: Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad, was it?
(The others groan)
[FLASHBACK]
Robin: Hey, Simon.
Simon: Wow, look at you. You got old.
Robin: Yeah. You look great. You got hotter, like that's possible.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Robin: So... Look, I know it didn't go as planned, but I can't help it. I mean... he's still got it.
[FLASHBACK]
Simon: Whoa! Four bucks for a brew? What a rip. Good thing I'm packing.
(He takes a can out of his pants)
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Robin: So he's not a snob. He's from a different part of Canada, you know? The maple leaf flag on the back of the pickup truck? He's Red Province. He's from the Deep North.
Marshall: The thing is, we gave you so many opportunities.
[FLASHBACK]
Lily: So, Simon, Robin's a bit of a local celebrity here in New York. She's the lead anchor at Metro News One. Tell him, Robin.
Robin: No. It's stupid. It's not cool, like Simon's shirt.
Barney: I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity. What do you do for a living?
Simon: Oh, I work at the Splish Splash Ottawa Water Slide Park.
Ted: Huh! A water slide park. That sure is different than what Robin does.
Simon: Yeah, it is... because I save lives. If I'm not sitting in that stool at the top of the slide, going... Go.. Go... Go... people die. What, you think it's so easy? You try it.
Ted: Um... (clears his throat)... okay. Go.
Simon: You didn't put your hand up; kid just died.
Ted: No, I didn't know...
Simon: Another kid just went; he died too.
Ted: Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually...
Simon: Another kid just went; now you've got a pile-up and Robin's got something to report on the news. This just in: My friend, Ted, just killed a bunch of kids today.
Lily: Well, that's cool. You got to pay the bills somehow since your whole music thing didn't really pan out, did it?
Simon: Well, it hasn't panned out yet, but the band's still going. About four or five gigs away from really exploding.
Robin: The Foreskins are still playing?
Ted: The Foreskins? How'd you guys come up with that name?
Simon: Well, there's four of us, and we play without shirts. Babe, seriously.
Robin: I know. I'm sorry.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Robin: I know. I'm sorry. But you guys just don't understand. The fact that he kept the band going...that's impressive! I mean, I gave up my musical dream.
Barney: Which brings us to the most important piece of information from tonight.
[FLASHBACK]
Barney: So, Simon, how did you guys meet?
Simon: Oh, I was in her video.
Robin: Starred in it is more like it.
Simon: Well, once you win Mr. Teen Winnipeg, everybody wants a piece of the moneymaker.
Barney: I'm sorry. I've seen "Let's Go to the Mall" about a thousand times, and you, sir, are not in it.
Simon: No, I was in the other one.
Barney: There's another video?!
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Barney: Robin, seriously, just make this easier on yourself and give us the tape.
Robin: No.
Barney: All right! You leave me no choice. From this moment on, I will spend every waking minute ching down this tape. I will not sleep. I will not eat. My life will be a living hell of search engines and overseas phone calls, chasing down something that possibly can't be found.
Robin: Okay.
Marshall: It's just... It was so hard to watch, Robin. You're usually so cool.
Robin: I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm sitting next to Simon, and suddenly I'm 16 again.
Ted: Oh, it's actually a common thing. When you're around someone from your past, you kind of revert back to who you were when you knew them. There's not really a name for it, though.
Marshall: It's called "revertigo."
Ted: Yeah, I don't know about "revertigo."
Marshall: You know who gets really bad revertigo? (whispers) Lily when she around her high school friend, Michelle.
Barney: Michelle? She sounds hot.
Ted: You don't know about Lily and Michelle?
Barney: No. What about Lily and Michelle?
Marshall: Oh, my friend, you are in for a treat. Hey, Lil?
Lily: What?
Marshall: You know, I was just thinking, we haven't seen your friend Michelle in a while.
Lily: Oh, yeah. I'll give her a call, see if she wants to hang out.
Barney: What... (stammers) Do they make out?
Marshall: Better.
Ted: Comparable.
Marshall: Comparable.
Robin: Whatever. It's over. I lost. I guess you, uh, you don't get second chance.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Later, at the Bar
Robin: I got a second chance.
Lily: What happened?
Robin: He came by my place tonight...
[FLASHBACK]
Robin: Simon. What are you doing here?
Simon: I just feel like there's some unfinished business between you and me. Seeing you now... has made me realize that breaking up with you is the biggest mistake I made in my entire life.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Robin: Oh, I like where this is going.
[FLASHBACK]
Simon: I know this is crazy, and I'm only in town for a couple of days, but do you want to go on a date?
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Lily: He asked you out?! Oh, step into my web, Simon.
Ted: The coup de grace.
Barney: Finish him!
[FLASHBACK]
Robin: I'd love to!
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Ted: Wait. You're going on a date with Simon? That Simon?The one we met?
Lily: Robin, this guy doesn't deserve a second chance. Not after the way he treated you.
Robin: That was ten years ago. People evolve. I mean, are you the same person that you were in high school?
Lily: Oh, hell, no!
Marshall: I think you're gonna enjoy this.
Lily: That my girl Michelle?
Michelle: Bitch, you know it!
Lily: How she livin'?
Michelle: She living only way she know how to. Large!
Lily: Oh, girl, you gots to get your drink on up in here.
Michelle: I'm hoping my big ass can hustle me up a vodka-Gatorade.
Lily: For reals.
(Lily and Michelle leave the bar together)
Barney: I want her around all the time. I'd even consider not trying to sleep with her if that's what it takes. Guys, I've decided to seduce Michelle.
In some garage
(Robin is watching Simon's band playing)
Robin: Yeah!
Simon: Guys, that was great. Let's take five. Hey, babe, did you like it after my bass solo when I flicked my pick at you?
Robin: That rocked.
Simon: Yeah. Uh, 'cause I'm gonna need that pick back.
Robin: Oh, uh, sure.
Simon: Um, I think it... It's cool. You'll find it later.
Robin: Oh, cool. I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning.
Simon: Oh, but, babe, you got to go to work. You got to play our demo on your show.
Robin: Oh, well, you know, it's not a show. It's the news.
Simon: Right. So you can be, like "Hey, did you hear there's some news? There's a rad band you guys should check out." And then play it. Or just, like, the first three songs.
Robin is presenting the news...
Robin: And now it's time for "Puppy Corner," some little angels looking for a new home, courtesy of the Midtown Animal Shelter.
Dog's pictures are shown with Simon's music in the background (hard-metal music)
At the Bar
Robin: Hey, a lot of puppies got adopted. Of course, a lot of the people calling in thought we were going to kill them.
Marshall: Robin, your revertigo is really starting to affect your work.
Lily: What's revertigo?
Ted: It's a stupid, made-up word with no meaning.
Marshall: No. It's a phenomenon where, when you're around people from your past, you start behaving like them.
Lily: Oh. One example of that springs to mind. I think we all know what it is.
Marshall: You do?
Lily: Yeah. Ted.
Ted: Me?
Lily: Whenever Ted's friend Punchy comes into town, it's like, all of a sudden, Ted's in high school again.
Ted: Okay, okay. First of all, his name is Adam Punciarello, and I don't do that.
[FLASHBACK]
(Someone is knocking at the door)
Ted: Ooh. That must be Adam. 'Sup, Punchy?
Punchy: 'Sup, Shmosby?!
Ted: You want to go?
Punchy: I'm already there!
Ted: Dude, seriously, I'm sorry about your dad.
Punchy:Yeah, it was a real shock.
[END OF FLASHBACK]
Ted: I can't believe you, of all people, are saying this.
Lily: Why?
Ted: No reason.
Marshall: Robin, the point is, what are you doing? I mean, this guy?
Robin: Okay, you want the truth? Yeah. I like Simon. I do. We have fun together.
Lily: Oh, we know you do, honey, but we're worried about you.
Robin: You're worried? Okay, hold on. Is there any version of this conversation where you guys don't sound like my parents?
Lily: I don't know. Is there any version where you don't sound like a 16-year-old?
Robin: That's exactly what my mom would say.
Lily: No. If I was your mom, I woulsay, "We forbid you from seeing this boy."
Robin: Lily!
Lily: No, I'm sorry, but it's for your own good.
Robin: This is my life! You guys just don't get it! You've never felt the way that I feel!
Marshall: Now, now. We were once young and in love, too.
Robin: Yeah, like, a billion years ago.
Lily: You've been drinking, haven't you?
Robin: Yeah, we all have. You bought the last round.
Lily: You're not going to that show tonight!
Robin: Oh, yes, I am, and you know what else? Tonight, after the show, Simon and I are going all the way.
Lily: Young lady, get back here! Thanks for your help.
Ted: Hey, so, today at work...
Marshall: Not now, Ted!
Ted: Geez.
At the back of Simon's van
(Robin is lifting boxes into the van)
Robin: Oh, hey, Simon. Great show. You guys still rock.
Simon: Yeah. They totally dug my bass solo. Man! Why can't I always feel this alive?!
Robin: God, I just love seeing you so happy.
Simon: Yeah. About that. Listen, babe. It's over.
Robin: What?
Simon: I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh.
Robin, laughing: What? You're kidding me. You're breaking up with me? Again? F-For the same ex-girlfriend? In the same van? What is it? Her-Her parents got a pool? Is that still the reason?
At the Bar
Ted: Well... I'm sorry, Robin.
Robin: I'm fine, really.
Lily: Oh, Robin, I'm gonna tell you for real. Simon's a dawg. You feel me, Chelle?
Michelle: Mm-hmm, for reals. He a scrub.
Lily: Mm. True dat. I'ma get me my champagne and grape soda on.
Ted: So, how's Columbia?
Michelle: Great! I'm almost done with my dissertation. Hmm. I'm getting a PhD in behavioral psychology.
Robin: Um, can I make an observation?
Michelle: Oh. I know. Whenever I'm around Lily, she just brings out that side of me. There's a psychological term for the phenomenon.
Marshall: Revertigo?
Michelle:No. Actually, it's associative regression. You see, the neural pathways that... Oh, no, you did not just put on my jam! Oh. Put your hands up, girl!
(Lily and Michelle start dancing around)
Ted from 2030: One by one, we all had to go home. Soon, it was just Robin.
Barney: All right. I can't find your video. I've wasted three days tr... What's the matter?
Robin: Uh... Simon dumped me in his van after the show.
Barney: Yeah, Robin, that was, like, ten years ago.
Robin: No, tonight.
Barney: Ooh. Really? (Robin starts crying)Oh! Oh, come here.
Robin: It's just... when I was young, I was so... vulnerable and-and open to things, you know? And... I guess I just... I wanted to feel that way again. I wanted to be 16 again.
Barney: Robin, that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. You want to be 16 again? I have watched your first Robin Sparkles video 1,000 times, and it's not because I'm proud of you as a friend. It's because you were totally, totally lame back then. But now, come on. Pa-cow! You're the most awesome person I have ever known. Well, second most awesome.
Robin: Right. Of course, the-the first being you.
Barney: No. No. The first is this guy who lives in a place called the mirror. What up?! I'm saying that you are way more awesome than Simon ever will be.
Robin: Barney, do you want to come back to my place?
Barney: Your place?
At Robin's
Barney: Are you sure you want to do this?
Robin: Yeah. I am. Let's just not tell anyone about this, okay?
Barney: Of course. So, should I just put it in?
Robin: Yeah, why not?
(Barney plays a video tape)
Robin: This was my big artistic follow-up to"Let's Go to the Mall." It kind of tanked.
Barney: Is that Tiffany? Mm-hmm. You are so rad. It's everything I want it to be and more.
Robin: Oh, I'm so glad.
Barney: Is that Alan Thicke?
Robin: Yeah.
Barney: You know, if you reedit it, there's a tampon commercial in here somewhere. Do you seem how lame you were back then?
Robin: Yeah, you're right. I was lame.
Barney: Totally lame. Ugh. And, of course, the robot makes an appearance in the sad love ballad.
Robin: He was my sidekick. He had to be.
Ted from 2030: And so they watched it again... And again... And again. They watched it over and over that night until finally... (Robin and Barney kiss) they stopped watching.
|
Plan: A: a spark; Q: What does Robin rekindle with Simon? A: Simon; Q: Who is Robin's old flame? A: James Van Der Beek; Q: Who played Simon? A: her heart; Q: What does Simon break? A: Barney; Q: Who helps Robin feel better? A: his own inimitable style; Q: How does Barney help Robin feel better? Summary: Robin rekindles a spark with Simon, an old flame ( James Van Der Beek ), but he ends up breaking her heart again. Barney and his own inimitable style helps make her feel better. Guests appearances Tiffany and Alan Thicke .
|
REMEMBRANCE OF THE DALEKS
PART TWO
Run time: 24:31
[SCENE_BREAK]
School cellar
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek: Stay where you are! Do not move!
The Doctor: The stairs!
[SCENE_BREAK]
School corridor
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ace: Oh, sorry.
The Doctor (O.C.): Ace! Ace! Open the door! Ace! Open...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cellar staircase
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek: You are the Doctor. You are the enemy of the Daleks! You will be exterminated! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
[SCENE_BREAK]
School corridor
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek (O.C.): Exterminate! Exterminate!
Dalek (O.C.): Exterminate!
Ace: Doctor!
The Doctor: What's the matter with him?
Ace: Stomach ace.
The Doctor: School dinners. Give me a hand.
Ace: Professor, he tried to lock you in.
The Doctor: Ace!
Headmaster: I'm sorry.
Dalek: We must repair the transmat.
Headmaster: Yes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside Coal Hill School
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: What are you doing here? Oh, never mind. Get this thing out of here.
Airman: I was ordered to deliver the ATRs to this position, sir.
The Doctor: ATRs. Anti-tank rockets.
Airman: Yes, sir.
Ace: Will these things be any good against the Daleks?
The Doctor: It's not the Daleks we're after, it's the transmat.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School cellar
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek: You will remain here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside Coal Hill School
[SCENE_BREAK]
Airman: You'll have to sign for them, sir.
Airman: Ahem.
The Doctor: Come on.
Airman: Hello, love.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School corridor
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ace: What about the Dalek? Won't he try and stop us?
The Doctor: Quite possibly. Stay close behind.
Ace: Hey. It must have gone back down to the cellar.
Dalek: You will be exterminated.
The Doctor: Ace, get down!
Dalek: Exterminate!
Ace: Ace.
The Doctor: You destroyed it.
Ace: I aimed for the eye-piece.
Mike: This way! Move it, move it! You fetch the Group Captain. Any more?
The Doctor: No.
Mike: Did you do that?
Ace: It makes a lot of smoke, doesn't it.
Mike: Yeah.
Gilmore: You've destroyed it. Good.
The Doctor: It is not good. Nothing about this is good. I've made a grave error of judgment. Oh, I'm going to wish I'd never started all this. Group Captain, I must ask you to evacuate the immediate area.
Gilmore: That's an absurd idea.
Rachel: Why, Doctor?
The Doctor: I've reason to believe a major Dalek Task Force could soon be operating here.
Allison: Great.
Gilmore: And where will this Task Force arrive from?
The Doctor: One certainly is in place hidden somewhere in this vicinity. The other probably from a mothership in geostationary orbit.
Gilmore: Be reasonable, Doctor.
The Doctor: Do you doubt the non-terrestrial nature of the Daleks? I mean, examine this one. Or better still, ask your Scientific Advisor.
Gilmore: Well, Professor?
Rachel: I'm afraid the Doctor's right. It is alien.
Gilmore: You're positive?
Rachel: Yes.
Gilmore: Professor, a word. This Doctor, do you trust him?
Rachel: Well, he knows what he's talking about, and considerably more than he's telling us. I think we should go along with him for now.
Gilmore: And later?
Rachel: We could ask him for an explanation.
Gilmore: We could do a lot more than ask. Very well, Doctor. I'll have to get a decision about this evacuation from my superiors.
The Doctor: Splendid.
Gilmore: I should know either way by tomorrow morning. I'll see you all then.
The Doctor: I shouldn't touch it if I were you. It may not be completely dormant yet.
Allison: That stench.
Rachel: Now, Doctor, I have questions I would like answered.
The Doctor: So have I. I'll return in the morning.
Ace: Doctor, where are you going?
The Doctor: To bury the past.
Ace: I'm coming with you.
The Doctor: It is not your past. You haven't been born yet. Would someone look after Ace for me?
Rachel: Yes, of course.
The Doctor: I'll borrow this.
Rachel: Sergeant, have you room for Ace at your house?
Mike: Yeah, sure. Mum runs a boarding house. I'd like you to meet her.
Rachel: Ace?
Ace: Yes?
Rachel: Not been born yet. What did he mean by that?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cafe
[SCENE_BREAK]
John: Can I help you?
The Doctor: A mug of tea, please.
John: Cold night tonight.
The Doctor: Yes, it is. Bitter, very bitter. Where's Harry?
John: Visiting his missus. She's in hospital.
The Doctor: Of course. It'll be twins.
John: Hmm? Your tea. Sugar?
The Doctor: Ah. A decision. Would it make any difference?
John: It would make your tea sweet.
The Doctor: Yes, but beyond the confines of my tastebuds, would it make any difference?
John: Not really.
The Doctor: But...
John: Yeah?
The Doctor: What if I could control people's tastebuds? What if I decided that no one would take sugar? That'd make a difference to those who sell the sugar and those that cut the cane.
John: My father, he was a cane cutter.
The Doctor: Exactly. Now, if no one had used sugar, your father wouldn't have been a cane cutter.
John: If this sugar thing had never started, my great-grandfather wouldn't have been kidnapped, chained up, and sold in Kingston in the first place. I'd be a African.
The Doctor: See? Every great decision creates ripples, like a huge boulder dropped in a lake. The ripples merge, rebound off the banks in unforeseeable ways. The heavier the decision, the larger the waves, the more uncertain the consequences.
John: Life's like that. Best thing is just to get on with it.
The Doctor: Did you see that?
John: See what?
The Doctor: Nothing. What would you do if you had a decision, a big decision?
John: How big?
The Doctor: Saving the world.
John: Really?
The Doctor: Really.
John: I wish you the best of luck.
The Doctor: Let's hope I make the right decision. Things could get unpleasant round here. I'd take a holiday if I were you.
John: Oh, sure. How long?
The Doctor: Two or three days. After that, it won't matter one way or the other. Thanks for the tea.
John: Any time.
John: Nineteen ninety one?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Funeral parlour
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Good morning. I believe this belongs to you.
Martin: Yes.
The Doctor: The door was open so I thought I'd just pop in and collect my casket.
Martin: Ah, well, I'm the governor has yet to arrive and I'm afraid I can't just let you. Which er, casket would this be?
Martin: Oh, I see. Er, well, if you could just wait until the governor arrives, I'm sure...
The Doctor: Yes, that would be perfectly all right.
Martin: Oh, good. Splendid. Mister er...
The Doctor: Doctor.
Martin: Doctor?
The Doctor: Yes. Now, if I might be alone with the...
Martin: Oh, yes, yes, of course. I'll leave you alone with, er.
The Doctor: Thank you.
Martin: I'll just be in the next room if you...
The Doctor: Yes.
The Doctor: Hello. Open.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Funeral parlour office
[SCENE_BREAK]
Martin: Hello, governor? Somebody's come to collect that big casket. Yes. Yes, the Doctor. Just one thing, governor. I thought you said he was an old geezer with white hair.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Funeral parlour
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Now, let's see what you can make of this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Boarding house - front room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ace: Hello.
Mike: Good morning.
Ace: Where are you off to?
Mike: I have to check some things out at the Association.
Ace: Who's the Association?
Mike: They're my friends. You can meet them later.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Funeral parlour
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Come on, now. Give it up.
The Doctor: Goodbye. Close.
The Doctor: Follow me.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Funeral parlour office
[SCENE_BREAK]
Martin: Yes, all right, governor.
The Doctor: Thank you.
Martin: Oh, cheerio, Doctor. But Doctor, what about your...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ratcliffe's office
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ratcliffe: Once we possess this Hand of Omega, what then?
Computer: We shall be on the brink of great power.
Ratcliffe: And our agreement?
Computer: You too shall share this power, if you have the stomach for it.
Ratcliffe: What do you mean?
Computer: There will be casualties. Many deaths.
Ratcliffe: War is hell.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cemetery
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: It's very good of you to do this at such short notice.
Vicar: Nonsense, my dear Doctor. The grave's been ready for a month. Mister Stevens, the gravedigger, was wondering what he should do.
The Doctor: I had to leave suddenly.
Vicar: Forgive me for saying this, but it seems to me that your voice has changed somewhat since we last met.
The Doctor: Yes, it has changed. Several times.
Vicar: I must say your pallbearers are very quiet. Silent as ghosts, really.
The Doctor: Yes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ratcliffe's office
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ratcliffe: Yes? Good. Stay with the Doctor. Watch him and call me back. Ah, ah, ah. Yours not to reason why, just to obey orders. Now just get on with it.
Ratcliffe: My man has found it.
Computer: Yes, but my enemies have found your man.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Outside the cemetery
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek (O.C.): He is an agent of the renegade Daleks. Apprehend and interrogate.
Headmaster: I obey.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cemetery
[SCENE_BREAK]
Headmaster: What is the location of the renegade Dalek base?
Mike: What? Get off me or I'll break...
Headmaster: What is the location of the renegade Dalek base?
Mike: I don't know what you're talking about.
Headmaster: Renegade Daleks have defied the will of the Emperor Dalek. They must be located and destroyed. And you are an agent of the renegade Daleks.
Mike: I work for Mister Ratcliffe. The Association.
Mike: Who do you work for?
Dalek (O.C.): Alert. Security is compromised. Terminate agent.
Headmaster: No!
Mike: Who do you work for?
Vicar: It is over.
The Doctor: No. It's only just beginning.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Boarding house - dining room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Allison: Thank you.
Ace: The Professor said he'd be back by now.
Rachel: What was he doing, anyway?
The Doctor: Working, unlike some people.
The Doctor: Have a nice sleep?
Ace: It was okay. You're late.
Mike: I found him wandering the streets.
The Doctor: I was not wandering the streets. I was merely contemplating certain local cartographic anomalies.
Mom: There's a message for you, Mike.
Mike: Thanks. Ladies and gentlemen, the Group Captain is expecting us.
Ace: Great. Something to do at last.
Mike: Ah. He specifically ordered that Ace remain here.
Ace: Professor?
The Doctor: Ah, Ace, I have a present for you.
Rachel: How did you do that?
The Doctor: Higher technology, and no, I can't tell you how.
Rachel: Why not?
The Doctor: You're not ready for it. No one on this planet is.
Mike: Ladies? Doctor?
The Doctor: I'll meet you outside.
Mike: Sorry, Ace. Work to be done. Back at six. Have dinner ready.
Ace: Toe rag. Professor, you can't leave me here.
The Doctor: Ace, I'm trying to convince Group Captain Gilmore to keep his men out of trouble, otherwise there'll be a lot of needless deaths.
Ace: You're up to something.
The Doctor: Yes.
Ace: Then I have to come with you.
The Doctor: No.
Ace: Who else is going to guard your back?
The Doctor: Will you obey me this once? I'll explain everything when I return.
Ace: Tell me now!
The Doctor: I haven't got the time!
Ace: All right, I'll stay here if that's what you want.
The Doctor: Trust me.
Ace: Doctor?
The Doctor: Yes?
Ace: You'd better explain when you get back, or...
The Doctor: Or?
Ace: Things could get nasty.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Van
[SCENE_BREAK]
Mike: I wonder what he's up to?
Rachel: Who knows? His motives are alien.
Mike: Meaning?
Rachel: Meaning I don't think he's human.
Mike: And Ace?
Rachel: She's not an alien. You're all right there.
Mike: Good. Well, I mean, I wouldn't want her to be foreign, would I?
Rachel: Ah, here comes the Doctor.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ratcliffe's office
[SCENE_BREAK]
Computer: The enemy is about to start moving.
Ratcliffe: Do you think that Group Captain Gilmore suspects us?
Computer: (scoffs) Not the paltry military forces of your world. The real enemy. The Imperial Dalek faction, may their shells be blighted. Soon it will be war. Are you ready for war, Mister Ratcliffe?
Ratcliffe: Yes. This country fought for the wrong cause in the last war. When I spoke out, they had me imprisoned.
Computer: You will be on the right side in this war.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Control room
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Group Captain, the evacuation?
Gilmore: I've been in direct contact with High Command and they've agreed to stage a quiet withdrawal under the peace time nuclear accident provisions. They felt that given the sensitive stage of the current government...
Allison: Just for a change.
Gilmore: They felt, Miss Williams, that the initial stages could be carried out under the aegis of the Counter-Intrusion Measures, United Kingdom. The D-notice office has of course been informed and a cover story prepared.
Rachel: What is it?
Gilmore: I have no idea. Not my department. Now, Doctor, since you hold my career in your hands, I trust you can justify my faith.
The Doctor: With respect, Group Captain, your career's magnificently irrelevant. Now, let's see. Any more transmission sites?
Rachel: No, just at the school.
The Doctor: Good. I want a direct line to Jodrell Bank. Let's see. 1963. The Fylingdale installations and the Royal Observatory. Order them to search these localities for any signs of high orbital activity.
The Doctor: Now, I want the detector vans moved so they can cover this area here and here. Order all air and ground forces to avoid engaging the enemy at all costs. We must act with extreme caution.
Allison: And if we don't?
The Doctor: Goodbye civilisation as you know it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Boarding house - Front room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ace: Mrs Smith?
Mom (O.C.): Yes?
Ace: I'm just going out for a breath of fresh air.
Mom (O.C.): All right, dear.
Announcer: This is BBC television. The time is a quarter past five and Saturday viewing continues with an adventure in the new science fiction series, Doc...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Control room
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Doctor: Twenty six by zero zero one. A big mothership of some kind, with maybe as many as four hundred Daleks on board. Well, at least we know where it is.
Rachel: Much good that does us.
Gilmore: It would be foolish of me, I suppose, to hope that this mothership was not nuclear capable?
The Doctor: That ship has weapons capable of cracking open this planet like an egg.
Allison: We've got the parts you wanted, Doctor. Where do you want them?
The Doctor: Good. Over here.
Rachel: Allison, we've located the mothership. It's in a powered geostationary orbit...
Mike: Where?
Rachel: Guess.
Rachel: Right.
Gilmore: Is that their main base, Doctor?
The Doctor: For one group, at least. I believe we're dealing with two antagonistic Dalek factions.
Rachel: Two?
Gilmore: And do they both come from outer space?
The Doctor: From another planet in a distant future. We must try and contain them, let them destroy each other.
Gilmore: Shouldn't we send for reinforcements? Armoured units?
The Doctor: Have you been listening to me, Group Captain? That spaceship up there has surveillance equipment capable of spotting a sparrow fall at fifteen thousand kilometres. Any sign of a military build-up and they may simply decide to sterilise the area.
Gilmore: And we have no defence.
The Doctor: Frightening, isn't it, to find there are others better versed in death than human beings.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School corridor
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ace: Hello? Anyone at home?
[SCENE_BREAK]
School science lab
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek (O.C.): Attack squad in position.
Dalek 2 (O.C.): Lower area clear.
Dalek (O.C.): Proceed. Exterminate any aliens.
Daleks (O.C.): We obey.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Control room
[SCENE_BREAK]
Rachel: What does it do?
The Doctor: Well, at best it will interfere with the Dalek's control systems. I rigged something like it on Spiridon.
Rachel: And the worst?
The Doctor: It'll do absolutely nothing.
Allison: Doctor? Red Nine reports an increase in modulated signalling.
The Doctor: Where?
Allison: Just a minute.
The Doctor: Mike, phone up Ace and tell her someone will come and collect her.
Mike: Right.
Allison: The signal emanates from Coal Hill School. Multiple sources in close proximity.
The Doctor: Multiple? They've got the transmat working again.
Rachel: Transmat? What does that mean?
The Doctor: More Daleks.
Gilmore: Doctor, there's no reply from my men at the school.
The Doctor: Get a vehicle ready. Load it up with plastic explosives and integral detonators.
Gilmore: Right.
Rachel: Why explosives?
The Doctor: Well, that thing merely disorients and weakens them. What do you expect me to do then, talk to them sternly?
Mike: Doctor, Mum says that Ace left ages ago.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School science lab
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek: Small human female sighted on level three.
Ace: Who are you calling small?
Dalek: Under attack. Under attack.
Dalek: Vision impaired.
Dalek: Reinforcements requested.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School corridor
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek: Human female is now leaving building.
[SCENE_BREAK]
School
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dalek 2: Stay where you are. Do not move.
Dalek: Exterminate. Exterminate.
Dalek 3: Exterminate.
Daleks: Exterminate. Exterminate. Exterminate.
|
Plan: A: The Doctor; Q: Who visits a local funeral home to retrieve a coffin shaped device? A: the transmat device; Q: What device do the Daleks use to transport to Earth? A: Earth; Q: What planet are the Daleks searching for the Hand of Omega on? Summary: The Doctor visits a local funeral home to retrieve a coffin shaped device that he calls the 'Hand Of Omega', meanwhile the Daleks use the transmat device in the basement of Coal Hill School to transport to Earth to search for the 'Hand of Omega'.
|
[EXT. LAS VEGAS CITY (STOCK) - NIGHT]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CONDO - NIGHT]
(Camera Close-Up of: Various colored perfume bottles.)
(Fade to black.)
(Fade In to: Camera moves across room; past trash cans with a towel on it; past an exercise machine in front of a door.)
(Dissolve to: A Woman sleeps in bed.)
(Fade to black.)
(Fade In to: Close up of woman sleeping. Her eyes flutter open and she turns her head.)
(Cut to: The Woman gets up and walks down the stairs into her living room. She turns on the light. She looks around.)
(Close up of: Wind turning the pages of a magazine on the table.)
(The woman feels the breeze. The fan overhead is turned on. She turns around to look at the light switch. There's fingerprint smudges on the light switch. She turns around and looks around.)
(Cut to: The woman looks down at something. Camera refocuses and shows a glass of water on the table and its condensation pooling on the glass table top.)
(Something's not right. The woman can feel it.)
(Camera lingers on the woman's front door. It zooms toward the lock; through the keyhole; down the front walkway; turns the corner into the next door neighbor's door.)
(Camera zooms through the keyhole; and into the woman's bedroom where there's a woman screaming. There's a man straddled on top of her on her bed.)
(She continues to scream. The man gets up and off of her. He runs away.)
FLASH TO WHITE:
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(BRASS escorts GRISSOM and CATHERINE to the crime scenes.)
Grissom: Dispatch said breaking and entering and sexual assault?
Brass: Well, he never touched the first girl. The bedroom door was blocked.
Grissom: What do you mean, "blocked"?
Brass: With a treadmill. We've got two apartments here; 1213 and 1214. We think the girl in 1214 has physical findings.
Catherine: You think?
Brass: Well, she locked herself in her bedroom, won't let anyone with a y chromosome within fifty feet of her.
Catherine: Okay.
(CATHERINE heads for apartment 1214.)
(BRASS walks past a woman in her robe talking to a female officer.)
Brass: (to GRISSOM) That's the lucky one.
(They walk into apartment 1213.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. APARTMENT 1214 - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT]
(CATHERINE walks into the apartment. There are several officers there.)
Catherine: Hey, guys. Catherine Willows from CSI. Could you all clear the residence, please?
(CATHERINE takes her cap off.)
Officer: I'm first officer, ma'am. I can't leave a crime scene unless I get orders from my C.O.
Catherine: The victim's well-being takes precedence over everything. Right now, this is Joanne Crooks' apartment, not our crime scene. So ... there's the door.
Officer: All right, come on.
Catherine: Thanks. Thank you. Appreciate it.
(The door to the bedroom opens a bit. CATHERINE heads for the bedroom.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. APARTMENT 1213 - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT -- CONTINUOUS]
(Inside, BRASS shows GRISSOM how the person broke into the apartment.)
Brass: Doreen Bainbridge locks her doors every night. Says the girl next does the same. It's a twist lock. It allows for five inches of night air. Very secure ... unless you reach in ... three seconds. (BRASS pushes the glass door open.) Crime of opportunity, huh?
(GRISSOM shines his flashlight on the glass door. There are smudges outside the glass.)
Grissom: Yeah ... except somebody was watching this girl.
HARD CUT TO: END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. APARTMENT 1214 - BEDROOM - NIGHT]
(CATHERINE knocks on the bedroom door. JOANNE CROOKS sits on her bed.)
Catherine: Joanne ... all the guys have left.
(CATHERINE sticks her head through the open door and pushes it open.)
Catherine: It's just me. I'd like to ask ...
(JOANNE CROOKS stands and starts to change the bedsheets.)
Joanne Crooks: (interrupts) I told you guys, I don't know what he looked like, okay? It was pitch black.
Catherine: Well, I'm not a cop; I'm with the crime lab. I'd, uh, I'd like to process the bed sheets ...
Joanne Crooks: I don't think so.
Catherine: Well, would you allow me to take samples from you?
Joanne Crooks: Sorry.
Catherine: Look, I know this is really horrible.
Joanne Crooks: I want to get the b*st*rd off of me, okay? Off of my things. Don't you get that?
Catherine: Washing away evidence hurts any chance of finding out who raped you.
Joanne Crooks: He didn't rape me, okay? I woke up and he was on my chest. (She shows CATHERINE her sticky hair.) Look at this. It's not hair gel.
Catherine: If you let me recover that evidence, we can stop him from doing this to somebody else.
Joanne Crooks: Maybe I'm selfish. I don't know; I don't really care about anybody else right now.
Catherine: Well, then let's get him for what he did to you.
(This stops JOANNE CROOKS. She turns around to look at CATHERINE and nods.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. APARTMENTS -- NIGHT]
(WARRICK places a measuring ruler around a shoe print in the dirt. He takes a picture of it.)
(He puts the camera aside and takes out a measuring tape.)
(Dissolve to: WARRICK puts a metal frame around the imprint to take a cast of it.)
(Dissolve to: WARRICK picks up the tub of paste and starts mixing it. He pours it into the metal frame around the shoe print.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. APARTMENT 1213 - NIGHT]
(GRISSOM lifts prints off of the glass sliding door.)
(Quick flashback to: Someone looking through the window and watching the woman inside.)
(Cut to: Someone watching another window and watching the woman inside. He touches the glass and leaves behind fingerprints.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(GRISSOM presses the tape down on the glass and lifts the prints.)
(NICK is next to GRISSOM examining the ledge under the window next to the door.)
Nick: Hey, Grissom. (They both kneel to look at what NICK'S found.) Got what looks like a semen stain. It's crusted, it's not fresh. Still, it confirms your theory that he's been watching her for awhile.
(GRISSOM stands and leaves. After a moment, NICK looks up and finds GRISSOM gone.)
Nick: Hey ...
(NICK walks through the path and finds GRISSOM in front of the glass door of the next apartment. He's staring at the glass door.)
(NICK walks up to him.)
Grissom: He's been watching a lot of people.
(NICK looks around.)
Nick: Well, there are hedges outside of every one of these apartment windows -- that's built-in concealment.
(For the second time, GRISSOM walks away.)
Nick: Yeah, this guy was having his own little private peep show. I ...
(NICK turns around and notices that GRISSOM'S gone. Over at the next apartment, WARRICK continues to process evidence. He looks over at NICK and lifts his hands. I don't know. NICK sees WARRICK and shrugs back.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. COURTROOM -- NIGHT]
(The doors open and SARA walks in. Court is in session.)
Melissa Winters (prosecutor): Last, I would like to thank you for working late into the night. During this trial, you have heard people portray the defendant in glowing terms. He may be all of these things. He certainly seems likable. That doesn't change the fact that he got behind the wheel of his car legally drunk, and drove through an intersection, killing Shelley Daniels, a 12-year-old child.
(SARA takes a seat and listens to The Prosecutor's closing remarks.)
Melissa Winters (prosecutor): When you go into that jury room, I ask that you seek justice and return with a verdict of guilty. Not for me, not for his honor, not even for Shelley Daniels. I ask because Justice itself demands it. Justice is greater than our personal feelings. Than ... revenge, than ... than pity. Do not shrink, do not disappoint, but rather ... embrace it. Thank you.
(SARA smiles, impressed by what she just heard. The Prosecutor wheels herself back to her place behind the table. She leans in and speaks with the lawyer next to her.)
Judge: The jury may retire to the jury room. I'll advise counsel when the jury has reached a verdict.
(The JUDGE hits the gavel against the desk. The people in the courtroom start to disburse. SARA approaches the Prosecution's table.)
Sara: Where do I sign up?
Melissa Winters: I wish you could. I'm sorry. Thank you for coming on such short notice.
Sara: Your message said it was important.
Melissa Winters: Yes, People v. Archer. Trial's on deck this Thursday. I prepped all weekend.
Sara: It should be a slam dunk.
Melissa Winters: Great. I've handed the case over to another D.A., Greg Rubio.
Sara: What?
Melissa Winters: He's quick on forensics, he's great on game day.
Sara: Melissa, we've been building this case together for six months. What's going on?
Melissa Winters: I'll be dead.
(The news comes as a complete shock to SARA.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. OUTSIDE COURTROOM -- MORNING]
(SARA and MELISSA WINTERS talk.)
Sara: I never felt comfortable asking you about your, uh ...
Melissa Winters: My wheels?
Sara: I mean, I know somebody broke into your house, shot you and your husband.
Melissa Winters: Made me a widow, left me a souvenir.
(Quick CGI POV to: The bullet travelling through the skin and muscle and lodging there. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Melissa Winters: At the time, the doctors said if they removed it, I'd die. But in the last few years, the bullet has meandered. Last week, my voice gives out during a cross. I have trouble swallowing. Hand starts to shake. My neuro calls it "Traumatic Basilar Artery Aneurysm." Um, he has to "clip" the artery.
Sara: Well, if they're fixing the artery, that's good.
Melissa Winters: The operation's delicate. The odds are, well ... low. I've really enjoyed working with you, Sara.
(She holds her hand out. SARA takes it.)
(MELISSA WINTERS leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- DNA LAB]
(CATHERINE enters the DNA lab.)
Catherine: Greg ... get anywhere with the semen I recovered from Joanne Crooks' hair? I sent it back with an officer.
Greg: Uh, low volume, no sperm.
Catherine: That's impossible.
Greg: Yeah, I knew you'd say that.
(GREG gives CATHERINE the test results and goes back to what he's working on. CATHERINE examines the results.)
Catherine: Oh, the trailer before the movie.
(GREG lifts his head and looks at CATHERINE.)
Greg: Sorry.
(CATHERINE leaves the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- A/V LAB]
(CATHERINE walks into the Audio/Visual lab.)
Catherine: Hey, Grissom, thanks for the lift.
(CATHERINE stops next to GRISSOM who is working on the computers.)
Catherine: Grissom, uh ...
(GRISSOM doesn't look up at CATHERINE.)
Catherine: (louder) Grissom?
(GRISSOM is startled. He turns to look at CATHERINE. He's having difficulty hearing her and must see her to read her lips.)
Catherine: (soft, distorted) That must be some good evidence.
Grissom: (misunderstanding) You have evidence?
(The distortion continues.)
Catherine: No. It turns out the semen in the vic's hair was pre-ejaculate, which, of course ...
Catherine: (louder and clearer) ... carries no sperm, therefore, no DNA.
Catherine: (normal voice) So, I got this poor woman's hopes up for nothing. How about you?
(GRISSOM turns back to the computer in front of him.)
Grissom: I went back to the crime stats ... pulled up all the reported peeping toms in a two-block radius over the last year.
Catherine: (looking at the wall monitor) Unsolved ... any of these women get a description?
Grissom: He had "raccoon eyes." And that's about it. Plus, nobody called in any follow-up reports.
Catherine: Well, I guess half the problem's the name-- "Peeping Tom." It just sounds so innocuous when, in fact, "peeping" is the first step in the evolution of a sexual predator.
Grissom: And I'm afraid our "Tom" is on an escalated pace. Tonight was his first breaking and entering with an immediate second B&E plus what appears to be his first sexual assault.
Catherine: Well, we know what road this guy's on. It's just a matter of time before he rapes and murders.
Grissom: Yeah ... we better find him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- A/V LAB]
(Everyone working on the case meets to share information.)
Catherine: Victims' profile: Both women are single, under 30, live right next door to each other in a large apartment complex.
Warrick: Have we had any luck on cross-referencing any of the guys in their lives?
Catherine: Uh, no crossover so far. Doreen Bainbridge works in the corporate field and Joanne Crooks is a dancer, so feels like completely different social circles.
Grissom: But they're in the predator's comfort zone which means he probably lives in the area, too. What else?
Warrick: We're still working on some shoe prints but the plaster's still wet.
Grissom: Blow dry it. It'll give us approximate height and shoe size.
Nick: Yeah, and the semen sample I recovered is still being processed in DNA.
(GREG walks into the room.)
Greg: Not anymore. I'm done. And no jokes about me being fast in this department. The ejaculate outside the first girl's window -- spank high. Good news: It does have DNA.
Nick: Whose?
Greg: I don't know. Ran it through CODIS, nothing kicked out.
Catherine: Well, it's possible this guy's so new he doesn't even have a record.
Greg: Well, I can tell you this about him: Really low sperm count. Sample hardly had any swimmers.
Nick: That's probably from excessive masturbation. Guy's been outpacing his ... (WARRICK turns to look at NICK.) ... ability to produce ... (NICK looks up and notices everyone looking at him.) ... sperm ...
Warrick: Yeah, you'd know it, Spanky.
Nick: It's just a hunch.
Greg: Hey, that can happen to any guy.
Warrick: Yeah, not outside some poor woman's bedroom window.
Grissom: All right, let's keep after it. This guy won't stop till he's caught.
(WARRICK closes the file folder in front of him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- FORENSIX AUTOPSY]
(DOC ROBBINS pushes a body back in the storage unit. He closes the door. SARA enters the room.)
Sara: Hey, Doc. You got a minute?
Robbins: Sure, just finishing. Some people actually do die of natural causes in Vegas you know.
Sara: So I hear.
Robbins: So what's on your mind?
Sara: Um ... a friend of mine's going in for surgery. Traumatic Basilar Artery Aneurysm. You, uh, mind walking me through it?
Robbins: It's a rough procedure. The basilar is the chief blood supplier to the brain stem. Here, I'll show you.
(He reaches up on the shelf for a thick book and walks toward his desk.)
Robbins: They put the patient under hypothermic arrest, meaning the heart will be stopped and blood artificially circulated.
(He opens the book to a diagram and shows it to SARA.)
Robbins: The objective is to decrease blood pressure so the aneurysm can be clipped. Imagine taking a knife to a balloon.
(Quick Flash to: MELISSA WINTERS is face down on the operating table as the surgeon works on her. Camera moves to the surgeon's POV, through the machinery and to the muscles in her neck. The camera moves past the bullet and to the machine as it works on the artery.)
Robbins: (V.O.) The neurosurgeon has just under an hour. One slip, the artery ruptures causing a catastrophic brain hemorrhage.
(Flash to white. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Sara: She said she was going to die.
Robbins: Nine out of ten times, Sara. I'm sure her doctor told her.
Sara: Thanks.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HOSPITAL]
(SARA walks onto the floor. DR. STEWART is at the nurses desk filling out a form.)
Sara: (to nurse) Excuse me, do you know where I can find Dr. Stewart?
Nurse: (pointing) Right there.
Sara: (to nurse) Thanks.
(SARA walks toward DR. STEWART.)
Sara: Dr. Stewart. Sara Sidle. I'm a friend of Melissa Winters.
Dr. Stewart: She pulled through.
Sara: (smiling) She did?
Dr. Stewart: No change to mobility, but cognitively, she'll be sharp as ever. Not quite ready to entertain visitors but you can drop by tomorrow.
Sara: Thanks. Thank you.
Dr. Stewart: Okay
(DR. STEWART turns to leave. SARA stops him.)
Sara: Hey, Doc?
Dr. Stewart: Yeah?
Sara: When you were in there did you, by any chance, remove the bullet?
Dr. Stewart: Yeah, after I repaired the artery I figured it couldn't do any more damage than it already has.
Sara: You think I could have it? I'm, uh ... I'm with the crime lab. It's the only evidence in a cold case.
Dr. Stewart: Yeah. Wait here and I'll have it sent out.
(SARA smiles as DR. STEWART leaves.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(WARRICK uses the blow dryer and dries out the plaster cast of the shoe print. He puts the blow dryer aside and brushes away the dirt. He grabs the measuring tape and measures the shoe print. He then measures it against the chart.)
(CATHERINE walks into the lab.)
Catherine: Hey, how's it coming?
Warrick: Good. Looks like I got a size eight. Check back with me, I should have more in a bit.
Catherine: All right.
(CATHERINE leaves and heads down the hallway.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - PRINT LAB -- CONTINUOUS]
(CATHERINE walks into the print lab.)
Catherine: Hey, Jacqui. Grissom's print any good?
Jacqui: The deposition pressure's heavy. The guy was really pressing hard on that window.
Catherine: With one hand, anyway. Okay, well, that's a lot of distortion.
Jacqui: Yeah. Platform ridges of the latent print were affected by the shift of the core away from the triradius.
Catherine: So can you enhance the ridges equal to the amount of the slippage?
Jacqui: Mm-hmm. With the help of this software. Now let's hope this guy's in one of our databases.
Catherine: Well, I'd run AFIS last. I doubt if he's in there; he wasn't in CODIS.
Jacqui: No criminal record? We're dealing with a newbie, a teenager.
Catherine: It's kind of looking like that.
(She checks the database and gets a match with the following results: )
(From the Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Work Card Bureau)
[LAS VEGAS METROPOLITAN AREA NON-GAMING PERMIT
NAME: JUSTIN LAMOND OCCUPATION: POOL ASSISTANT, TANGIERS ISSUED: 11/29/2001
EXPIRES: 10/23/2003
P.D. Chief: Alec Champain ID# 18645-00065879]
Catherine: Justin Lamond, 18. Non-gaming card.
Jacqui: He's a pool boy at the Tangiers.
(The additional information on the bottom of the screen reads: )
[NAME: Justin Lamond ADDRESS: 4647 Cedar Street Las Vegas, NV 89107
Control ID: 1092-23-78J
Print: L.P Match Score: 100%
Class Score: 100%
Database: (5784985_657) ]
Catherine: Oh, and look at that. He lives one block from the crime scene. Thanks, Jacqui.
(CATHERINE walks out of the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT./INT. SHOPPING MALL - DAY]
(BRASS and CATHERINE stand on the top of shopping mall looking down over the people walking around below.)
Catherine: Hey.
Grissom: Hey. So the owner of the pool company says he spends his lunch hour here every day.
Catherine: Well, that's what he looks like.
(CATHERINE hands the information sheet complete with picture to BRASS.)
Catherine: I'll be this way.
Brass: Okay.
(BRASS hands the information sheet back to CATHERINE. She walks to a different area.)
(BRASS and CATHERINE start to scan the area below looking for JUSTIN LAMOND.)
(CATHERINE sees him as he walks up the escalator behind a girl wearing a skirt.)
Catherine: Jim. There, that's him.
(BRASS walks over and looks where CATHERINE points.)
Brass: Yeah, how can you miss him? Kid's pitching a tent.
(BRASS and CATHERINE go to intercept him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT./INT. SHOPPING MALL - DAY -- CONTINUOUS]
(JUSTIN LAMOND reaches the top of the escalator. BRASS, CATHERINE and an OFFICER meet him at the top.)
Catherine: Justin Lamond?
Justin Lamond: Yeah?
Brass: Come with me, Justin.
(BRASS pulls JUSTIN LAMOND to the side.)
Justin Lamond: Hey ...
Brass: Nice fanny pack. I mean, I'm a wallet guy myself, but I can change. Mind if I take a look at yours?
(BRASS opens the fanny pack and looks through it.
Justin Lamond: I'm not doing anything.
Brass: Pack's a camouflage. And check out the tip of his right shoe.
(CATHERINE looks down at JUSTIN'S shoe and sees the small, nearly imperceptible flashing red light and lens.)
(Quick CGI POV to: The camera starts from the tip of the shoe and follows the wiring up JUSTIN'S leg and through a hole in the fanny pack. The wiring connects up to the flat camera recorder that CATHERINE opens. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
(On the monitor of the recorder, is a picture of CATHERINE.)
Catherine: It's a spy camera. What, you can't peep in apartments during the day so you come to the mall to sneak some thrills?
Justin Lamond: I don't know what you're talking about. I'm late for work.
(JUSTIN tries to leave, but BRASS stops him.)
Brass: No, your lunch hour just got very long.
Catherine: Put him in the car.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB -- DAY]
(BOBBY DAWSON examines MELISSA WINTERS' bullet.)
Bobby Dawson: Heck of a lot of tissue attached. Let me guess-- this has been in your victim for a while.
Sara: Three years. Prosecutor friend of mine walked in to find a guy shooting her husband, then he turned the gun on her. She just had it surgically removed.
Bobby Dawson: The human body's amazing. Three years.
(Quick CGI POV of the bullet lodged inside the body. In a quick series of cuts, tissue forms completely around the bullet.)
Bobby Dawson: (V.O.) Tissue forms around the bullet protecting the body from the leaching of the lead.
(End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Bobby Dawson: Hang on a second. You get approval from Grissom? I don't want him walking in on me.
Sara: Yeah.
Bobby Dawson: (he smiles at her) Sara Sidle ... ?
(She smiles back.)
Sara: Yeah, I did.
Bobby Dawson: All right, just checking. Let's go.
(BOBBY pushes his chair clear across the room to another table.)
Bobby Dawson: Enzymatic detergent ought to clean this baby up.
(He puts the bullet in a beaker and adds some detergent to it. After a moment, he pulls the bullet out of the beaker.)
Bobby Dawson: Ugh ... Still stained.
(He plops the bullet back into the beaker.)
Bobby Dawson: All righty ... time to get serious.
(He pushes his chair to another table. He puts the beaker into a machine that uses sound to clear the tissue off of the bullet. The tissue starts to peel off of the bullet.)
Sara: (loudly through the buzzing of the machine) Hey, hey, careful with that bullet, it's my only evidence.
Bobby Dawson: I thought you said the husband got shot, too.
Sara: It was a through and through. The bullet decimated upon impact with the couch ... (He turns the machine off.) ... with the couch frame.
(BOBBY takes the beaker out of the machine and takes the bullet out of the beaker. He examines the bullet.)
Bobby Dawson: Hey, clean as a whistle. We're good to go. I'll run it through IBIS.
Sara: Thank you. Page me?
Bobby Dawson: Yeah, sure thing.
(SARA leaves the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE -- DAY]
(BRASS closes his office door as he and CATHERINE interview JUSTIN LAMOND.)
Brass: How long you been doing this-- videotaping woomen without their knowledge?
Justin Lamond: It's only breaking the law if you record their voices.
Brass: Ooo ... He's a smart kid, huh?
Justin Lamond: Oh, come on ... look at the girls out there. They wear see-through tops, short skirts, bellies all on show. They so much want it. So I catch some money shots.
Brass: Well, let's look at the young Kubrick's money shot, shall we?
(BRASS turns on the television monitor and plays back JUSTIN'S tape. The first shot is of the woman on the escalator. The second shot is of a woman's cleavage. Next shot is of a woman leaning over. Additional footage continues along the same theme.)
(CATHERINE is surprised by the video. BRASS turns the monitor off.)
Justin Lamond: You guys are looking at me like I'm some scab. I don't do toilets, fat chicks, blue vein, crush stuff. Just low-tech voyeur.
Brass: That's reassuring. Do you know Doreen Bainbridge?
Justin Lamond: No.
Catherine: We found your fingerprints on her window.
Brass: And also a little love graffiti on the wall outside.
(CATHERINE turns away and goes to retrieve something from the desk.)
Justin Lamond: (shrugs like it's nothing) I spy, I don't engage.
(He looks over at CATHERINE who is now turned away and bent over the desk reaching for something.)
Catherine: Well, remind me to give you a medal.
(CATHERINE turns around and sees him looking at her. JUSTIN quickly averts his eyes back to CATHERINE'S face, but not quick enough for her to not notice. She is annoyed and turns to look at BRASS.)
Catherine: Stand up. Step down. Both feet.
(CATHERINE opens two boxes to retrieve JUSTIN'S shoe imprints. He steps into the boxes. He steps out of the boxes. CATHERINE pulls out the measuring tape and measures the imprints. They're 13".)
(CATHERINE walks over to BRASS.)
Catherine: It's not a match.
Brass: You got to be kidding me.
Catherine: Three-size differential. He was obviously outside Doreen's apartment, but he's not our guy.
Brass: He's my guy.
(Not about to let him get away with nothing, BRASS turns around and recites.)
Brass: Justin Lamond ... sexually motivated offense, indecent exposure, gross lewdness. Let's go to booking.
Catherine: Try to keep it on ice.
(The tape measure snaps shut.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(CATHERINE walks in the lab.)
Catherine: What's up?
Warrick: Hey, this cast that poured into the shoe print that I found outside that victim's bedroom window ...
(Quick CGI POV of the shoe imprint. Camera zooms in to note some yellow discoloration in one of the ridges. End of CGI POV. Resume to present.)
Catherine: Yeah.
Warrick: Pulled off some trace materials from it. It's like a yellow substance. It may be paint. Take a look and tell me what you think. Check it out.
(WARRICK walks over to the scope and CATHERINE looks at what WARRICK has in it.)
Catherine: Yeah. With glass. Reflective glass.
Warrick: Yeah, I'm thinking maybe road paint ... crosswalk ... lane markings maybe.
Catherine: So our suspect stepped in wet maintenance paint.
Warrick: That stuff dries pretty fast. So he must've stepped in it on his way to the scene.
(Quick flashback to: Yellow double painted lines on the road and someone walking through the wet paint. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Catherine: Which could tell us what direction he's coming from. Let me call my guy in the department of transpo.
(CATHERINE walks out of the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - A/V LAB]
(GRISSOM is still sitting in front of the computer. CATHERINE walks into the lab.)
Catherine: Still charting recent toms?
Grissom: Architecture. He has a "Type". All these buildings that recently reported peeping toms? Got floor plans from the management company. A-- second story, three bedroom. B-- ground floor, two bedrooms, center lots. C ... C-plans are all one bedroom on the end. Cheapest rent, highest foot traffic easiest to break in.
Catherine: He's a C-level man.
Grissom: Yeah. And every apartment has sliding doors and windows. Not one sash, not one french.
Catherine: And he gets there on foot, from east of Avon.
Grissom: You found his epicenter?
Catherine: Closing in on it. The city painted double yellows down Taylor Road last night. Started at 10:00 at Avon avenue. The paint crew goes three miles an hour. That puts them at Taylor and Cedar -- the victims' apartments-at approximately 20 after 10:00, just before the attacks.
Grissom: Predators usually widen their comfort zone in a spiral pattern outward.
(GRISSOM puts this new bit of information into the computer. On the monitor the entire potential area is enclosed in a red circle. Within the circle, red dots start appearing sporadically on the monitor.)
Grissom: My god, look at all the C-level apartments. P.D.'S going to have to triple their presence.
(The computer continues to add more red dots on the monitor.)
Catherine: Quadruple it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Someone is standing outside a woman's apartment and looks in on her through the window blinds. She goes through her apartment unaware that he's out there.)
Grissom: (V.O.) He hit two apartments in one night. He's become compulsive.
Catherine: (V.O.) Predators get smarter with every attack. It's been in the news. He may be wearing gloves this time.
(A gloved hand reaches in through the window and up to the sliding door latch. The woman is standing inside the lit apartment and going through her laundry.)
(The sliding door opens. The man enters the apartment.)
Grissom: (V.O.) Yeah, he's evolving ... perfecting ...
(The woman turns around just as the gloved hand reaches out to cover her face.)
HARD CUT TO BLACK.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- A/V LAB]
(The telephone rings. GRISSOM answers it.)
Grissom: AV lab. Grissom.
Brass: (from phone) Your sexual assault moved up to rape.
Grissom: Would you be exact, please?
Brass: (from phone) 490 Kildare Road. Get here as soon as you can.
Grissom: Thank you.
(He hangs up the phone and enters the address in the computer.)
(CATHERINE copies the address off of the monitor. She takes a step toward the door expecting GRISSOM to follow her. He doesn't move from his chair.)
Catherine: Aren't you coming?
Grissom: You can handle it.
Catherine: High profile case, technicalities ... that can't be why you do this, why you hang back and hide out.
Grissom: You look better on-camera.
Catherine: Right. I didn't think so.
(CATHERINE walks out of the lab.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. 490 KILDARE ROAD -- NIGHT]
(CATHERINE walks down the hill toward BRASS. She's carrying her kit.)
Brass: So where's Grissom?
Catherine: Supervising. So I'm listening to news radio on the way over here and they're calling him the sliding-door rapist.
Brass: Well, we got Susie Spiegel. She was unable to ID her assailant. There was penetration this time. She said he was polite. He wore a condom.
Catherine: Polite?
Brass: Yeah.
Catherine: He's just more savvy. There's less evidence for us to work with. I know, exactly.
(CATHERINE and BRASS turn their heads as they hear a woman yell out.)
Wendy: (o.s.) Hey! Police!
(On the side, WENDY has TAYLOR REED face down on the ground, her knee in the center of his back.)
Wendy: Come on, you pervert!
Taylor Reed: Hey! Hey! I can't breathe.
Wendy: Oh, well, you're not such a hotshot once a real woman gets a hold of you.
(BRASS and the other officers arrive.)
Brass: Slow it down, Xena. It's all right. Okay.
Wendy: Look, I saw him in the bushes. I scared him.
Brass: I know, I know. I understand.
(WENDY gets off of TAYLOR REED.)
Brass: Okay, get some id on these people, all right? Let's all go downtown, all right?
Wendy: I got him by surprise. I got him. (to TAYLOR REED) You're not gonna - - you're dead.
Brass: Are you all right?
Wendy: Yeah, I'm fine.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(SARA looks at a hand-drawn map of the crime scene. She studies the map and visualizes what must have happened.)
(Quick flashback to: VICTOR WINTERS standing up and talking with someone holding a gun on him. MELISSA WINTERS walks into the room.)
Victor Winters: Please ... don't shoot me.
Melissa Winters: Victor?
Victor Winters: Please ... please!
(The gun fires.)
Melissa Winters: Victor!
(VICTOR WINTERS falls back onto the couch. MELISSA WINTERS rushes to her husband. She turns around and sees the masked man in the living room. He fires and hits her in her neck. She falls to the floor.
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(SARA goes through the photographs of the case. NICK enters the lab.)
Nick: Hey, Sara. Heard you reopened the Winters case.
Sara: Did you know the lead CSI on this case, Terry Flannery?
Nick: Flannery. Yeah, yeah. He retired and moved back to L.A.
Sara: These are exit wounds from the husband's back. What do you see?
(SARA hands a photo for NICK to look at. He looks at the photograph.)
Nick: It's shored. There's a definite abrasion ring.
Sara: The only way you get marks like these is when the vic's back is pressed against something-- a floor, a wall. How did Flannery miss this?
Nick: There are two CSIs you never want investigating your murder -- the one on his first week, and the one on his last.
(NICK smiles and turns to leave the room. He looks back at SARA who has gone back to studying the photographs.)
Nick: Hey, does Melissa know you're doing this?
(SARA looks up.)
Sara: I don't want to get her hopes up.
Nick: She's been through a lot. You know how some victims are. They don't really want to know what happened. You know?
(SARA looks back at NICK. After a moment, NICK leaves the room. SARA's pager beeps.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - BALLISTICS LAB]
(SARA walks into the lab.)
Sara: You got something?
Bobby Dawson: Well, why else would I be paging you? A bullet shot from the same gun that was recovered from a liquor store robbery in Henderson six months ago. Check it out. They line up perfectly.
(The two bullets side by side on the monitor, then overlapped. They match.)
Sara: Cops recover the gun?
Bobby Dawson: Do you one better? They got the shooter.
(The information for ROGER WILDER appears on the monitor.)
Sara: (smiles) Roger Wilder. I'm liking you already.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM
(SARA questions ROGER WILDER.)
Roger Wilder: I don't know any Melissa Winters.
Sara: Oh, bad memory? Let me you. She was the Assistant DA who prosecuted you for assault five years ago. She got you sentenced to four years.
Roger Wilder: Yeah, I was out in one. What about her?
Sara: Well, the trial transcript says at the sentencing you yelled at her, "What goes around, comes around."?
Roger Wilder: It was a chump charge. She did a number on me.
Sara: So was it just a coincidence that three weeks after you got out of jail, Mrs. Winters and her husband were shot in her own home?
(ROGER WILDER doesn't say anything. He looks at SARA.)
Sara: We recently recovered a bullet from Melissa's head. It happens to match a bullet fired from the gun that you used in your latest felony. You know what we call that? Corroborating evidence. I guess I'd keep my mouth shut, too. Three years have passed. You don't have to say anything, but I have to tell you that evidence persists. A fingerprint ... a fiber ... a hair. If I find one shred of physical evidence that places you in the winters' house, there is not a jury in Clark County that will not give you the death penalty.
Roger Wilder: I went to her house. Not to kill her. I wanted to see the look on her smug-ass face when she saw I knew where she lived. She wasn't there, all right?
Sara: Did you knock or did you use the doorbell?
Roger Wilder: No one was there. I busted in, thought I'd mess the place up and give her a nice welcome home.
(Quick flashback to: ROGER WILDER is inside the WINTERS' home. He picks up a golf club and looks around. He uses it as a bat and starts smashing things ... a vase ... the fireplace ... the table. On the floor with the shattered table top glass is a gun. He sees it.)
[CLOSED-CAPTIONED: Roger Wilder: I busted in, grabbed the first thing I could find, made a little mayhem.]
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Sara: A gun just fell from a table.
Roger Wilder: Yep. At least I got something out of her.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM]
(BRASS questions WENDY.)
Wendy: Everybody tells you to get more involved in the community, but once you do ...
Brass: Hey, hey, hey, you busted a man's lip. You broke a tooth, you sprained his finger.
Wendy: Jujitsu, shotokan. (She holds up her hands.) They act on their own. I am just a vessel.
INTERCUT WITH:
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM -- CONTINUOUS]
(CATHERINE questions TAYLOR REED.)
Taylor Reed: Shouldn't I go to the hospital? I was bleeding.
Catherine: I just have a few questions. First off, what were you doing at those apartments?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM -- CONTINUOUS]
(WENDY looks over at BRASS.)
Wendy: I was on my way home from spin class on my bike
(Quick flashback to: WENDY riding her bike. She looks over and sees the figure of a man near a house.)
Wendy: (V.O.) ... and then I saw him. He was in those bushes around Jennifer's place
(The MAN sneaks up to the window outside the house.)
Wendy: (V.O.) ... and I guess I thought the guy'd be scary.
(WENDY looks over at the man and yells.)
Wendy: Hey!
Wendy: (V.O.) ... You know, night stalker scary, but he was like a wet french fry. I knew I could take him.
(The man looks up at WENDY. WENDY stares at the man.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM -- CONTINUOUS]
(CATHERINE continues to question TAYLOR REED.)
Taylor Reed: She was insane. She didn't even let me explain.
Catherine: Try me.
Taylor Reed: I was looking for an apartment. I just got a raise and need more space.
Catherine: So you decide to start your search in the dead of night when there's a rapist on the loose.
Taylor Reed: I work days. It was in the classifieds.
(TAYLOR REED pulls out a folded piece of newspaper from his pocket and shows it to CATHERINE as if that slip of paper explains it all.)
Catherine: Oh.
Taylor Reed: Besides, what, what's he going to do to me?
Catherine: Well, Wendy did okay. Um, the problem I'm having is that those apartments there's always an availability so, um, kind of gives you a plausible excuse anytime, anywhere, doesn't it?
Catherine: Oh, I like those shoes. What size are you?
Taylor Reed: Eight and a half.
Catherine: Eight and a half, huh? Do you mind if I look at the soles?
(TAYLOR REED puts his feet up on the table. CATHERINE examines the shoes.)
Taylor Reed: You seem disappointed.
Catherine: Hey, how would you feel about allowing me to look at all your shoes from home? I mean, it'd be strictly voluntary.
Taylor Reed: I don't know if I'd be comfortable with that.
Catherine: A young, white male living in a targeted neighborhood -- I'd think you might want to, you know, help rule yourself out.
Taylor Reed: I value my privacy.
Catherine: Of course you do.
(TAYLOR REED stands up and looks at CATHERINE.)
Taylor Reed: Am I free to go?
Catherine: Yeah.
(TAYLOR REED starts walking toward the door. CATHERINE stops him.)
Catherine: Oh. Uh, Mr. Reed. If Wendy attacked you and you're innocent, I'd think you might want to file charges against her. How come you didn't?
(TAYLOR REED takes a step toward CATHERINE and nods his head.)
Taylor Reed: Uh, no. I do. Want to. File charges, yeah.
Catherine: You sure? I wouldn't want you to do anything you didn't believe.
Taylor Reed: No, she assaulted me. I want to file.
Catherine: We'll take a report.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
(TAYLOR REED sits in BRASS' office behind his desk. BRASS pushes a piece of paper toward TAYLOR REED.)
Brass: I want you to know once you sign that complaint, it becomes a binding legal document, all right?
(Through the hallway glass window, CATHERINE watches TAYLOR REED sign the paper. BRASS looks up at CATHERINE and subtly nods his head. CATHERINE leaves and walks down the hallway.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - INTERROGATION ROOM]
(WENDY looks at the blood stain on her sweater sleeve. She can't believe what she's hearing.)
Wendy: He's filing charges on me? This is ridiculous.
Catherine: Agreed. May I please take that swab?
(CATHERINE takes a swab of WENDY'S mouth.)
Catherine: I'm going to need that jacket, too.
Wendy: That's great, you know? The guy's out there raping women and I end up getting strip-searched by the police.
Catherine: Wendy, I can't discuss an ongoing case, but what I can tell you is if we're going to get this guy, it'll be because of what you're giving us right now.
Wendy: Really?
Catherine: Really.
Wendy: Okay.
(WENDY takes off her jacket. CATHERINE smiles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI -- LAB]
(SARA works on the computer looking through various photographs of blood stains from the WINTERS' crime scene.)
(She pages through eight photograph of blood stains and the ninth photo of VICTOR WINTERS, shot and lying on the couch. She looks at the blood stain on the shirt.)
(Something doesn't add up.)
(She goes back to the report:
[INVESTIGATION
According to CSI Terry Flannery at approx ... ... 03-03-2000 decedent Victor Winters (9 ... ... couch in an upright position from an ... ... upper extremities. Melissa Winters ... ... floor with gunshot wound to the base ... ... transported to Desert Palm Hospital for ...
... EXAMINATION
... 3809 On decedent all medical applia ... ... no inconsistent trauma observed with ... ... supported information. ]
(SARA goes back to the photograph and prints it out. The printer prints the photo. SARA picks it up.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY]
(Carrying the photo, SARA heads out the room and down the hallway. She meets NICK along the way. NICK turns around from wherever he's going and follows her.)
Sara: Roger Wilder said he was inside Melissa's house which is true. He described the exact layout of the room. But he said he found the gun when he destroyed the coffee table and I have no evidence to disprove that.
(They enter the lab.)
[INT. CSI - LAB]
Nick: Well, go for logic. Some guy breaks into the Winters' house shoots 'em both and leaves his gun behind? Why?
(SARA picks up a box from the floor and opens it. Inside is VICTOR WINTERS' shirt in an evidence bag.)
Sara: I don't know.
(SARA takes the shirt out of the bag.)
Nick: Well, if it was really there, how come CSI didn't find it?
Sara: That's a very good question. I knew something was off when we saw that shored wound. It didn't match up with Melissa's account. If her husband was standing up like Melissa said when he was shot blood would have dripped down from the entry wound to the belt buckle.
Nick: Yeah. Gravity only runs one way.
(Quick flashback to: A gun is fired. The bullet pierces the shirt and the blood run down and seeps through the shirt making a stain that runs downward. End of flashback. Resume to present.)
(SARA spreads the shirt out and looks at the blood flow. This blood stain runs from the bullet hole to the right. The conclusions are obvious.)
Sara: This blood trail ... the only way it's going ... south ... he was laying down.
(SARA looks at NICK. NICK doesn't say anything. The evidence speaks loud and clear. NICK leaves the room. He leaves SARA alone with the shirt and her thoughts.)
Sara: (quietly) She lied.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - HALLWAY]
(CATHERINE walks rapidly through the hallway. GREG jumps out of his lab and intercepts her. He carries a file folder with her test results.)
Greg: He-ya! About the blood on kung fu lady's clothes.
Catherine: Greg, I don't want any other cases jumping mine. This is priority.
Greg: Eh ... If I had a dime ... anticipating that, I skipped dinner and ran the DNA through CODIS.
Catherine: Mm.
Greg: Turns out that your apartment hunter, that girly man, left his double helix behind at another crime scene.
(CATHERINE'S eyes widen. She takes the results from GREG and looks at it.)
Catherine: (reading) Unknown subject, five months ago breaking and entering, burglary.
Greg: They had nothing to compare it to at the time.
Catherine: But we do now.
Greg: Mm-hmm.
(GREG turns his head to the side and taps his finger to his cheek as if expecting CATHERINE to plant him one there. CATHERINE, thrilled with the results, walks past GREG and back down the hallway.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. HOSPITAL - MELISSA WINTERS' ROOM -- DAY]
(SARA knocks lightly on the door. She opens it and walks inside. She sees her friend awake in bed.)
Melissa Winters: (hoarsely): Sara, hey.
Sara: (smiling) Hey. You did it.
Melissa Winters: Yeah. I beat the odds. I got lucky.
Sara: Lucky and smart.
(SARA stands at the foot of her bed and looks a bit awkward.)
Sara: (quietly) I reopened your case.
Melissa Winters: Yeah, my doctor mentioned it. He said that he gave you the bullet.
Sara: I know what you did, Melissa. I examined the evidence. Your husband wasn't-standing in front of the couch struggling with some stranger.
(Quick flashback to: VICTOR WINTERS is asleep on the couch with the television on. MELISSA WINTERS walks up to him carrying the gun.)
TV Sports Announcer: ...And the wildcats hang on...
(She points the gun at her husband and fires.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Sara: There was no stranger. He was, uh, asleep, wasn't he? On the couch?
Melissa Winters: You're the one with the evidence.
Sara: You had a CSI who was about to retire who was predisposed to believe the testimony of an honest prosecutor like you. Especially since you got shot, too?
(Quick flashback to: MELISSA WINTERS standing over her husband with the smoking gun. In shock at what she's done, she drops the gun on the floor and takes a step back. She sits down on the floor, she covers her face with her hands and cries.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Sara: See, he leaned up from a prone position.
(Quick flashback to: VICTOR WINTERS wakes up and looks at MELISSA who is on the floor crying. He leans over the edge of the sofa and picks up the discarded gun. He points it at his wife. She slowly raises her head. He fires.)
(He drops the gun and falls back on the couch. Dead.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Sara: The directionality of the blood tells the story.
Melissa Winters: I didn't understand why I couldn't move my legs.
Sara: And you couldn't let anyone find that gun. They would have tested your hands for GSR.
(Quick flashback to: MELISSA WINTERS struggling to sit up. She reaches over for the gun. She grabs the gun and falls backward on the floor.)
(Cut to: MELISSA WINTERS under the glass coffee table tucking the gun inside the wooden beam. That done, she falls back to the floor, unconscious.)
(End of flashback. Resume to present.)
Melissa Winters: I thought I could go back. That I could get rid of it.
Sara: Somebody else did that for you. I almost had him arrested for a murder you committed.
Melissa Winters: You would think that an attorney could come up with a great case against an abusive husband, but I was ashamed. I didn't want people to know what he did to me.
Sara: All your closing arguments, all your big talk about Justice. I fell for all of it.
Melissa Winters: I've always believed in Justice. I still do.
Sara: (quietly) You never expected to live, did you?
Melissa Wilder: No. Out of all the CSIs, I knew I could depend on you.
Sara: I guess I'll be seeing you in court. Good-bye, Melissa.
(SARA turns and leaves the hospital room. She closes the door and looks up at the officer standing outside. She nods to him and he enters the hospital room as she walks away.)
(SARA walks down the hall and stops. She turns and leans back against the wall.)
(Camera holds on SARA.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - AUDIO/VISUAL LAB]
(CATHERINE walks through the hallway and into the Audio/Visual Lab where GRISSOM is sitting behind the computer.)
Catherine: How's your chart of escalation?
Grissom: De-escalating. I had figured Taylor Reed was branching out, widening his circle, but after last night, I think he's pulling in, going back to his original comfort zone.
Catherine: Was one of your original burglaries located at 13200 Appian way?
(GRISSOM types in the address into the computer. The following results show:
[Summary for 13200 Appian Way Crime Scene Report 09/06/02 (approx. 5 months ago)
Case: Breaking & Entering ... Offender broke through a sliding glass door on the first floor.
...CB: Case File (48377-587) ]
Grissom: Five months ago. First floor. Broke in through a sliding door.
Catherine: Where our guy Taylor Reed cut himself on the glass. So, we've narrowed the epicenter down to a single block-- Appian way. I'm thinking if we find something overlooked at those early crime scenes on Appian, we can tie it to our sexual assaults.
Grissom: De-escalation. If we can't get to where he's going, we'll go where he's been.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(A WOMAN answers the front door. NICK is on the front porch)
Nick: Hi. Hi, I'm Nick Stokes. I'm with the Vegas Crime Lab. There's a situation in your apartment complex you should be aware of. Do you mind if I come in, ask you a few questions?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. -- NIGHT]
(The front door opens. A man and a woman find WARRICK on their front porch. He holds out his ID.)
Warrick: Hello. I'm Warrick Brown. I'm from the Las Vegas Crime Lab. We're investigating a disturbance a couple doors down. I wanted to ask you a few questions if I could.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT./INT. 13200 APPIAN WAY -- NIGHT]
(BRASS and CATHERINE walk up to the next door.)
Brass: So help me out. What's a delicate way to say this? I'd like to barge in, tear your apartment upside down look for five-month-old evidence?
Catherine: You're the poet.
Brass: I'm glad you noticed.
(They reach the front door. Through the window they see the lights on inside.)
Catherine: Looks like somebody is still awake.
(BRASS knocks on the door. The front door opens ... )
Brass: Las Vegas Police ...
(... and they come face-to-face with TAYLOR REED.)
Taylor Reed: Detective. Ma'am.
Brass: What are you doing here?
Taylor Reed: I live here.
Brass: This is not the address on your driver's license.
Taylor Reed: People move.
Brass: Right.
Catherine: We'd like to come in.
Taylor Reed: Sure.
(He stands aside and they walk into the apartment. CATHERINE turns her flashlight on and starts to look around.)
Taylor Reed: Pardon the mess.
Catherine: I'm going to take a guess here. This apartment came on the market five months ago. The old tenant was bothered by the breaking and entering, the bloodstain that you left behind. You moved into the apartment you committed your first crime in, didn't you?
(CATHERINE turns her flashlight on TAYLOR REED and starts to examine him.)
Brass: Now you're ready to move again, huh?
Catherine: You weren't looking for another apartment. You were looking for ...
(CATHERINE sees a part of hair torn off from the back of his head. Her eyes widen.)
Catherine: ... another victim. You got something to hide, Reed?
(TAYLOR REED doesn't respond. CATHERINE starts to examine the floors.)
Catherine: Jim?
Brass: Yeah, okay.
(CATHERINE leaves the living room area and starts walking down the hallway. She's looking for something.)
(Almost near the end of the hallway, she sees it. A piece of bloodied hair with torn scalp in the middle of the hallway floor.)
(TAYLOR REED notices that CATHERINE sees the hair. He turns to run, but BRASS is there to stop him.)
(CATHERINE opens the door and finds a bound woman on the floor.)
Catherine: Jim, we need an ambulance!
(CATHERINE kneels down next to the woman.)
Catherine: Miss, are you all right? It's over. It's over. It's okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[EXT. - NIGHT]
(The woman is being wheeled away on a gurney. CATHERINE stands nearby. She peers into the window of the police car and looks at TAYLOR REED who's sitting inside. They look at each other. CATHERINE walks away.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[INT. CSI - LOCKER ROOM - NIGHT]
(SARA sits on the locker room bench. GRISSOM stands near the door looking through a locker.)
Sara: The cop read Melissa her rights right there in the hospital room. You think you know somebody.
Grissom: I never think that.
(SARA looks up at him.)
Sara: Ever?
(After a moment, she turns away and stares at the locker in front of her.)
Sara: When I was a kid I was playing hide-and-seek one day and I found this plastic bag under my big brother's bed. I thought it was a bag of dirt so I took it to my mom. Turned out it was his bag of weed. He was grounded for a year.
Grissom: The best intentions are fraught with disappointment.
Sara: Emerson?
(He closes the locker door and looks at SARA.)
Grissom: Grissom.
(SARA turns to look at GRISSOM. He lifts an eyebrow. She turns back to look at the lockers in front of her.)
(Looking back at SARA, GRISSOM slowly leaves the locker room. SARA closes her eyes and lowers her head, her silence as heavy as her thoughts. The camera moves away from SARA ... )
|
Plan: A: Catherine; Q: Who is taking the point in the investigation of the peeping tom incidents? A: The crew; Q: Who is racing to stop the attacker? A: more serious assaults; Q: What is the crew trying to prevent? A: Sara; Q: Who reopens the dormant case of her friend? A: a district attorney; Q: What is the profession of Sara's friend? A: a bullet; Q: What is the DA facing surgery to remove? A: her husband; Q: Who was killed in the attack? A: three years; Q: How long ago was the DA's husband killed? Summary: Catherine takes the point in the investigation of an escalating series of peeping tom incidents. The crew is racing to stop the attacker before his crimes become more serious assaults. Meanwhile, Sara reopens the dormant case of her friend, a district attorney. The DA is facing surgery to remove a bullet she got in an attack that killed her husband three years prior.
|
At school in the hallway
Jimmy: Kid Elrick's new cd is amazing. It's got has a totally new sound. Craig-
Craig: Hey guys check this out!
Jimmy: What is it?
Marco: Does your band have the heat to make hot sounds in T.O.?
Jimmy: Win two days of studio time and record your own single.
Craig: It's exactly the kind of exposure we need right now.
Jimmy: Then we'd get the limos, the private jets. The blingity bling!
Spinner: The panties flying at us on the stage.
Marco: Man we have to win this.
Ashley: Excuse us posers.
Ellie: Real musicians coming through.
Craig: Oh you're signing up. Cool, a little competition never hurt.
Ashley: 'Cause nothing ever gets in the way of what Craig wants. Not emotions, honesty, other people's feelings.
Craig: You hear that? She still hates me.
Ashley: And that's why the girls and I are gonna blow you right off the stage. In Craig's garage
Craig: Subterranean seismic, Overloads the circuits of my. Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. This blows.
(Marco, Spinner, Jimmy walk in.)
Marco: Yeah but Ashley's been playing the piano for what 12 years? and Paige is really good and then there's Hazel..
Craig: Marco-relax! Theres no way I'm gonna let my ex girlfriend beat me in a band competition!
Craig: So you guys learned the song?
Jimmy: Yeah, yeah we listened all day, are the lyrics ready?
Craig: How bout you just concentrate on getting the song down ok? One, two, one, two, three...
(Everyone playing.)
Craig: Guys! Guys! What was that?! (as Spinner's still playing the drums without noticing everyone else stopped)
Spinner: Dude! Take it easy!
Craig: Jimmy you ever hear of tuning? Marco it's a bass man, you play one note at a time! And Spinner...
Jimmy: Okay, alright just chill. Look it's just a song, alright?
Craig: Right, it's just a song. Let me tune your guitar.
In Ms. Kwan's class
Hazel: I totally get how you feel Ashley. I was creeped out by the whole hospital thing at first.
Paige: But Ter is like 200% better. Pink cheeks, she could wake up any minute!
Ashley: All right I'll go with you guys next time, after we win the band thing to tell her about it.
Ms Kwan: Good morning. We'll begin today by reading contributions from your creative writing journals. Who's first?
Ashley: (hands up) These are the lyrics to a song I just wrote. "Black, twisted agony. The fires of chaos burn on. Run for her tombstone before it's too late. The blood runs cold in her veins."
(Craig and Marco quietly laughing.)
Ms. Kwan: Great, uh just great. Let's leave our discussion until we've heard more shall we?
Out in the hall
Ashley: I can't believe no one said a thing about my song.
Paige: Um hon, I don't think anyone got it.
Ashley: It's about a girl who died in the Spanish civil war.
Craig: Yeah, um I feel her pain.
Ellie: I hate to be brutal...
Ashely: But you're going to anyway...
Ellie: You're supposed to write about things you've experienced.
Hazel: Yeah like your ex!
Ashley: I just can't pretend to forgive or forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you'll regret.
Ellie: I think Craig's in trouble. Outside Joey's house
Joey: Uh Ang, be careful with that bag, it has the eggs in it, okay?
Angie: Aunty Caitlin watch! (Jumping down the steps as she drops eggs on the ground)
Joey: Angela Elizabeth! What did I just say!?
Caitlin: Hey, are you alright?
Joey: See this is what happens when little girls don't go to bed on time!
Caitlin: Don't cry Angie! C'mon...
Joey: Ah she's fine.
Caitlin: I know. You wanna see something really cool? Watch this! (cartwheels) Can your fuddy duddy daddy do that, huh!?
Angie: No! He's old and no fun!
Joey: Oh really! Watch this! (handstands) I am a fun machine! (Falls down right on his back)
Caitlin: Oh Joey are you okay?
Joey: Oh no, oh no no no no no no. At a record store in the mall
Craig: Ashley! Wait, listen. I've been thinking about things between us and I respect you too much for things to keep going on like this. And you're not shouting at me. I'm gonna take that as a good sign.
Ashley: If you have something to say then I wanna hear it.
Craig: Good. So I'm sorry I made fun of your lyrics earlier. You're a really good writer and musician and that wasn't fair.
Ashley: This is about my lyrics?
Craig: Yeah, what did you think?
Ashley: Yeah, what was I thinking? At Joey's house
(Caitlin chasing Angie while they're both wearing capes.)
Caitlin: Watch out bad guys!
(Angie jumping on Joey.)
Joey: OW! No no no! Angie please! Ow, no no no! Ow.
Caitlin: Sweetie, he's a good guy.
Joey: Ow. Angie do daddy a favor okay go upstairs. Go get your Barbie suitcase and put some things in it; your toothbrush, your Gotchies...
Angie: Ooh Barbie suitcase!
Joey: Caitlin, get me the phone please. Angie's gonna stay with my mom until I feel better. Craig can help me out around here.
Caitlin: Why don't you let me help out?
Joey: Um, thank you but you're busy. I can't impose on you like that.
Caitlin: I don't mind! ...What?
Joey: Well... it's not all fun and games. Sometimes she needs a firm hand.
Caitlin: You don't think I can do it, do you!?
Joey: I think you're great with her, I just think you're more friend-great than parent-great.
Caitlin: Angie! You can stop packing! I'm gonna take care of you two!
At school, in the auditorium
(The guys are all playing (without lyrics))
Mr. Armstrong: Okay you guys, uh good luck in the competition tomorrow.
Spinner: Yeah we're gonna have lyrics by then right?
Craig: I've got it covered!
Mr. Armstrong: Up next: Hell Hath No Fury!
Paige: Um this song, it has lyrics!
Ashley: (singing) "The song is the price for breaking my heart. Should have written these words to you right from the start. You say it doesn't matter, it's all in the past, but pain doesn't show, it's disguised by it's mask. I can't pretend to forgive and forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you'll regret. Cuz you're the dust in my eye, you're the rock in my shoe. Yeah you lie, lie, lie."
In Joey's house
Caitlin: Eat your breakfast, Scampy!
Joey: Oh you don't have to do this.
Caitlin: Oh it's fine. I got just enough time to drop her off before my meeting.
Angie: I don't like this!
Joey: Too bad. Eat up!
Caitlin: I can handle this, thank you! Um how about some toast?
Angie: No!
Caitlin: Cereal?
Angie: I want pancakes!
Joey: Angela!
Angie: Pancakes with syrup!
Joey: Angie...
Caitlin: Okay uh pancakes we can do it, coming up! Dolly, hi! It's Caitlin, um would you tell Steve I'm going to be just a little bit late.
Angie: Auntie Caitlin!
(Caitlin drops her cell phone in the porridge.)
Joey: Good morning. Breakfast calling please leave your bacon after the tone.
[SCENE_BREAK]
In the computer lab
(In the background)
Mr. Simpson: The databasing should work...
Craig: Those lyrics of yours! Not cool!
Ashley: Typical. Self absorbed Craig actually thinks the song is about him.
Ellie: Wow, so vain.
Craig: What's your problem? You attack me every time I pass you in the hall and now you're performing that.
Paige: Well what'd you expect? 'For He's a Jolly Good Fellow'?
Craig: Ash I swear if you play that song in the competition I'll...
Ashley: Have s*x with more grade 9's?!
Mr. Simpson: Guys, settle down please!
Craig: You know, if you weren't such a prude I'd never have been with Manny!
Ashley: (so sarcastic) Oh but I thought you loved her.
Craig: Oh you know what! Go...
Mr. Simpson: Hey! One more word and double homework!
In Craig's garage
Spinner: Dude, where have you been?
Craig: I'm out of the contest. Just wanted to tell you guys.
Marco: What?! Craig no...
Craig: Ashley's won already so just forget it.
Spinner: No we're not forgetting it. And if Ashley wants a war, well we have the ammo my friend, we have the ammo. Hit it Brooks.
(Rapping.)
Jimmy: Our homie is a player, that is all, so why'd you have to go and kick his
Spinner: ball and chain, ain't that your name? Cuz you a playa hata and that's a shame.
Jimmy: And chicks like you ain't worth too much, so shut up girl
Jimmy and Spinner: and make my lunch! Yeah!
Marco: Uh Craig...me and you-walk!
Marco and Craig walking outside
Craig: That rap is never leaving the garage!
Marco: Which is why you need to write us lyrics! Okay? A.s.a.p.
Craig: Marco!
Marco: What do you have so far? Look maybe I can help.
Craig: Look I'm blocked okay. This whole thing with Ash and Manny... it's like I try and write and nothing comes out.
Marco: So glad I'm not into girls! Okay... AAHHHHH!
Craig: Have you lost it?!
Marco: What?! It clears my head! Go, try it!
Craig: No.
Marco: But, it gets the creative juices going.
Craig: No, I'm not doing that!
Marco: Then it's Spinner's sexist rap.
Craig: Ahhhh.
Marco: No, you have to do it like you mean it! Go!
Craig: AAAAHHHHH! No, sorry... nothing. At Joey's house
Joey: So did you and Auntie Caitlyn have fun shopping today?
Angie: It was okay. I'm gonna go out and play.
Caitlin: Sweetie I need you to wash your hands for dinner.
Angie: 5 minutes.
Caitlin: No, I need you to wash them now!
Angie: Bye!
Caitlin: Stop right there missy! Wash those hands now! You heard me!
Angie: I hate you. (Running up the stairs) At school
(Girls walking down the hall together with flaming Craig shirts on.)
Marco: Is that Craig?
Ashley: You like? It's amazing what you can do with a computer these days!
Craig: I give up.
Ashley: I'm sorry, I care why?
Craig: All you care about is making my life a living hell.
Ashley: Do you have any idea what my life has been like for the past few months?!
Craig: Please not this again.
Ashley: You think this t-shirt's hard to deal with or our song? I wanted to die Craig, I felt that bad!
Craig: Ok, well you're not listen-
Ashley: No, it's not ok! It'll never be ok!
Craig: I'm sorry ok!? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! How many times do I have to say it?
Ashley: Until you mean it.
In the auditorium
Ashley: (singing) You say it doesn't matter, it's all in the past, but pain doesn't show, it's disguised by it's mask. I can't pretend to forgive and forget. Gonna make the day you met me, a day you'll regret. Cuz you're the dust in my eye, you're the rock in my shoe. Yeah, you lie, lie, lie. Better watch what you say cuz I'm on to you, Mr. Nice guy! Ooohh Mr. Nice guy! You're so nice.
Marco: Okay. So they're good.
Spinner: Even if they suck we don't have a chance without a singer.
Liberty: I have you down as a rock quartet. Shall I downgrade to a power trio?
Jimmy: Our singer will be here in a second.
Liberty: Well it better be one of the next sixty. On in one minute!
Spinner: So we'll do it without Craig...with my lyrics.
Announcer: Wow! Those girls really knocked it out of the park! Next up to bat we have the Downtown Sasquatch!
Spinner: Hi we're Downtown Sasquatch! Woo! Uh ok and here's a little song we like to call we're still thinking of a name for... Woo! And it goes a little something like this!
Marco: Spin!
Craig: (walks out onto the stage) And it goes like this: I don't know if you'll forgive me for being so blind to how you felt. Don't ask me why I couldn't see it and that it'd take me years to figure out. And that's not something I know much about, but there's only one way to find out. Yeeeaaahhhh. What I know is that I hurt you oh, what I know is that I sucked and what I know is that I'm sorry. What I know is that I'm a loser and yeaahh what I know is that I screwed up and then I never earned your trust. What I know is that everything I touch just turns to dust. At Joey's house
Joey: How'd it go?
Caitlin: She still won't even open the door. I feel horrible.
Joey: Well at least she's not old enough to steal your car. That was Craig's version of the test.
Caitlin: God, it's like my mother's voice came right out of my mouth.
Joey: It happens to the best of us. Look I think it's great that you and Angie get along, but you can't just be her friend. She's just a kid. You have to set limits.
Caitlin: Yeah, but I called her Missy.
Joey: Ah it's catchy.
Caitlin: Well that's something.
Joey: You did great. She might not like you right now, but she respects you.
Caitlin: I'd rather have the like part back.
(Joey and Caitlin cuddling.)
Joey: You will. Just stick around ok?
At school
Spinner and Marco: (hugging) We won! We won!
Spinner: Oh are you here to bring us down? Because we won fair and square.
Ashley: Yeah you did, congratulations. And Craig nice lyrics. They were just right.
Craig: Thanks. Scenes for next weeks episode
Some old Italian guy: All these beautiful girls over here and not one you like?
Marco: First dates...they're scary. Especially with another guy!
Marco: Yeah I like him..but...
Spinner: Just ask the dude out!
Voiceover: The only thing worse than fear...
Marco: I uh... um...
Voiceover: Might be a fashion faux pas.
Marco: Help me please.
Spinner: It's like straight eye for the gay guy!
|
Plan: A: Downtown Sasquatch; Q: What is Craig's band called? A: Ashley; Q: Who is the leader of Hell Hath No Fury? A: a recording session; Q: What is the prize for the Battle of the Bands? A: Caitlin; Q: Who takes care of Joey and Angie? A: parenting; Q: What does Caitlin get a crash course in? Summary: Craig's band, Downtown Sasquatch, goes up against Ashley's, Hell Hath No Fury, for a chance to win a recording session. Meanwhile, Caitlin gets a crash course in parenting when she must care for Joey and Angie after he injures his back.
|
•I do not own the characters or situations of BTVS and I claim no credit for the content of this episode. I have merely transcribed what appeared on my screen, with help from the closed captions. •I prefer that you link to this transcript on the Psyche site rather than post it on your site, but you can post it on your site if you really want, as long as you keep my name and email address on it. Please also keep my disclaimers intact. DO NOT POST MY TRANSCRIPT ON YOUR SITE WITHOUT MY NAME ON IT! • I apologize in advance for my lame transcription of the fight scenes. I don't know the names of different punches and kicks. Use your imagination.
[SCENE_BREAK]
GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Buffy and Spike in the graveyard.
SPIKE: Why won't you sleep with me again?
BUFFY: Because I don't love you.
SPIKE: Like hell. Buffy and Willow at home.
BUFFY: I thought you were gonna go see Tara.
WILLOW: She's ... seeing someone else. Willow at school, seeing Tara kiss another girl.
WILLOW: They're probably just friends. Willow talking to Tara.
WILLOW: We should have some coffee some time.
TARA: I'm free tomorrow. Spike and Anya having s*x at the Magic Box. Willow seeing Spike and Anya on her computer.
WILLOW: Whoa. The Geeks seeing it in their lair.
WARREN: Shut it down, shut it all down! The camera in a skull on a shelf at the shop.
WARREN: Is that the camera in the Magic Box?
JONATHAN: Oh my god. Buffy and Xander looking at the screen.
XANDER: Oh god. What is she...
BUFFY: That's enough. Buffy walking out. Anya and Xander on the street.
ANYA: You left me, Xander. At the altar! I don't owe you anything!
XANDER: So you go out and bang the first body you can find?
SPIKE: It's good enough for Buffy.
XANDER: Shut up and leave her out of- Xander and Anya staring at Buffy. Willow in her bedroom.
WILLOW: Tara?
TARA: You can't just ... have coffee and expect-
WILLOW: I know.
TARA: There's just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again on both sides. Can we just skip it? Can, can you just be kissing me now? Willow and Tara kissing.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Teaser
[SCENE_BREAK]
Open in Willow's bedroom, daylight. Overhead shot of the room, various items of clothing strewn across the floor. Pan across the floor. Sound of giggling. Pan further to reveal Willow and Tara snuggling together on the bed, under red sheets.
WILLOW: When did morning happen?
TARA: After the moon went down. Willow giggles, leans up and they kiss for a while. Then Willow lies back down with her head on Tara's stomach. Tara caresses her shoulders.
WILLOW: Mmm, I forgot how good this could feel. Us. Together. (pause) Without the magic.
TARA: There was plenty of magic. Willow smiles, then sighs.
WILLOW: It's getting late.
TARA: (small frown) Wanna get up?
WILLOW: No! (Tara laughing) Oh god, no. (quietly) I was just thinking about Buffy.
TARA: (frowns) Oh. She still isn't back?
WILLOW: I didn't hear her. She wouldn't talk about what happened at the magic shop when she got home last night. She just wanted to know how close I was to tracing the camera signal back to the Empire of the Nerds. And then she left again.
TARA: I'm sure she'll be okay.
WILLOW: Yeah, I'm not really worried about her going up against Warren and the others. I know this is going to sound crazy, but ... I think something might be going on. With Spike and Buffy. (Pause) I mean, she looked so hurt when she saw him with Anya. I think maybe-
TARA: They've been sleeping together.
WILLOW: (laughs) No. I wouldn't go that far.
TARA: No, I mean she told me they've been sleeping together. Willow sits up to stare at Tara.
WILLOW: Sleeping together? You mean like the naked kind of together?
TARA: (sighs) I'm sorry I didn't say anything, but I, I promised her I wouldn't.
WILLOW: (shocked) Does everybody else know? Am I the only one she didn't-
TARA: God, no. She, she didn't even mean to tell me, it just came out.
WILLOW: (still shocked) How could she hide something like this from me?
TARA: I think she was afraid of the look you'd get on your face. (Willow staring at her) Kinda like the one you're wearing now.
WILLOW: Oh, no, I'm not ... I'm just trying to understand.
TARA: So is she.
WILLOW: Wow, she probably really needs someone to talk to.
TARA: Probably. Willow continues absorbing the news as Tara strokes her hair.
TARA: We've been kinda busy, maybe we didn't hear her come home. Willow nods uncertainly.
Cut to the hallway. Willow, wearing a large football shirt, knocks on a closed door.
WILLOW: Buffy? She opens the door, revealing the neatly made, not-slept-in bed. Willow frowns, closes the door and starts back toward her room. Shot of another closed door, starting to open.
DAWN: (OS) She back yet? Willow stops, turns back. Dawn appears in the doorway.
WILLOW: (nervously) Uh, not yet. I'm sure she'll be home soon. Everything's fine, just go back to bed.
DAWN: It's ten o'clock.
WILLOW: (surprised) Oh. Uh...
DAWN: (comes closer) You don't think she's ... gonna hurt Spike, do you?
WILLOW: She told you about Spike?
DAWN: It was kinda obvious after last night.
WILLOW: (covering) Yeah, I totally knew.
DAWN: It must have hurt so much. To see him and, and, and Anya like that? And poor Xander. Everything is so screwed up.
WILLOW: It's gonna be all right. It's just ... complicated. You know, when, when people have such strong feelings for each other, sometimes-
TARA: Is she back yet? Tara emerges from the bedroom with the sheet wrapped around her. Dawn's face lights up. Tara sees Dawn and looks mildly alarmed/embarrassed.
TARA: Oh. Hey.
D: (starting to smile, delighted) Oh! You and-
TARA: (smiling) Uh, that's my cue to put some clothes on. (turning back toward the bedroom)
DAWN: No! No no no! I'm totally not here! You guys, you do whatever you want. Um ... I'll go watch TV. (Giggles) Downstairs, really loud! In the basement. Where I can't hear anything. (Squeals) Oh my god! Dawn rushes off giggling excitedly. Tara and Willow grin at each other, head back toward the bedroom. Dawn reappears almost immediately.
DAWN: I love you guys! She squeals some more and dashes off again. Willow and Tara smile and continue on.
Cut to: Some door somewhere. It explodes inward (toward the camera) and Buffy appears in the doorway, wearing a red leather jacket.
BUFFY: (calls) All right. Let's make this quick. Reveal the interior of the Geek Trio's lair, still decorated in cheesy love-pad fashion, but empty of people. Buffy looks quite displeased. She walks down the stairs into the lair, looks around.
BUFFY: Fine. But I'm not leaving till we have a little chat. She wanders over to a desk. There's an iMac and a bunch of papers on it. Buffy frowns, picks up some of the papers, looks around more. Pan over a variety of geek-type knick-knacks and such.
BUFFY: Very little, considering the pummeling that needs to occur. She looks at a shelf where a bunch of action figures are set up -- mostly of women in extremely skimpy outfits. Buffy pokes one of them, makes a face, turns away.
BUFFY: I mean, guys, helloooo. Slayer here. Did you honestly think I wouldn't find you... She gets distracted by more piles of paper and stuff on a chair. She sifts through them, picks some up. Frowns, continues walking. She discovers the white-board on which the Nerd Herd had written their evil plans. Buffy turns it on its squeaky axle to reveal the surface. All it says now is: "TOO LATE!"
BUFFY: (frowns) Well, that can't be good. Suddenly a huge circular buzz-saw cuts through the white-board and comes slicing toward Buffy, cutting through everything in its path. Sawdust and debris flying everywhere. Buffy shields her face with her hands, dives to the floor just in time to avoid being sliced in two. Several more saws appear, at all angles, moving around the room, some horizontally, some vertically, some on a diagonal. Buffy does a flip to duck under one and over another. She grabs a pile of random papers and stuff, and runs for the door. One saw gets caught in the stairwell just below her feet.
Cut to outside. Buffy bursts out of the house and falls onto the grass, papers flying everywhere. She groans and sits up. We see that she's holding a large, old book. She looks down at herself. Close shot on her stomach. Her red leather jacket has a big gash in it, just deep enough to cut the fabric but not her flesh.
BUFFY: (annoyed) Okay. That's gonna cost ya. Wolf howl, opening credits.
Note: Amber Benson (Tara) appears in the opening credits for the first time.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act I
[SCENE_BREAK]
Open on exterior shot of the Summers house, day.
Cut to inside. Willow and Tara come down the stairs, dressed, arms around each other, smiling. They go into the living room.
WILLOW: Okay, we're here, ready for action! Uh, bad guy fighting action. (Giggles) Reveal Buffy sitting on the sofa holding some papers, and Dawn on the floor beside her, eating something. Willow and Tara exchange affectionate looks.
BUFFY: Guys, you didn't have to ... You know, if you still wanna be alone-
WILLOW: No. No, we're good. (still with the amorous looks)
TARA: We're better than good. Buffy and Dawn smiling too.
BUFFY: Great.
WILLOW: (softly) Super. Willow and Tara kiss briefly, then begin kissing more intensely. Buffy and Dawn watch with "aw" faces. Dawn giggles.
BUFFY: Awww.
WILLOW: Okay, all right, we'll stop.
DAWN: Oh, you better not!
TARA: So, um, nerds. How are them? They?
BUFFY: Well, I found their lair, but they obviously knew we were tracing their signal. They left in a hurry. Van was gone, but everything else was still there.
WILLOW: We should go back, uh, Tara and I can Sherlock around-
BUFFY: There's nothing left there now. Giant buzz saw. It was a thing. (indicating papers) This was all that I could save. I, I know it's not much, but we need to go through it and see if we can find anything that might tell us what, what they're doing, where they're going... Willow and Tara kneel on the floor. We see that the coffee table is covered with the rest of the papers and stuff that Buffy salvaged from the nerds' lair. Tara picks up a large book. It has a buzz-saw cut right across the middle, and it falls in half as she picks it up.
TARA: Um, (chuckling) this might take a while.
BUFFY: Anything we can do to fast forward? We really need to find Warren and the others before anyone else gets hurt.
WILLOW: Should we call Xander?
BUFFY: (grimaces) I don't think he's really in the Scooby space. We need to give him some time.
DAWN: Maybe they've heard something in the demon bars about those guys. (tentatively, looking at Buffy) Spike-
BUFFY: (quickly) Spike ... Spike's not part of the team.
DAWN: (softly) So he's not ... going to be around anymore? (Willow and Tara looking concerned)
BUFFY: Uh ... I don't know, Dawn. Not, not for a while. Dawn ponders this.
TARA: What about Anya? She might be able to help with some of the demon texts.
BUFFY: I'm guessing she's not feeling real researchy right now. Sound of sniffling, crying.
Cut to: a restaurant, day. A blonde woman sits at the bar with a martini glass in front of her. She's crying and has her head down so we can't see her face, but her hair and build and clothing resemble Anya's. But as the camera pulls out we see that Anya is actually sitting next to the crying woman.
ANYA: I know how you feel. Maybe I can help.
CRYING WOMAN: How could Carl do that to me? That b*st*rd!
ANYA: He's a man. Look no further.
CRYING WOMAN: But with my sister? She's not even pretty.
ANYA: (taken aback) Well ... it isn't always about looks. (Crying woman looking skeptical) Or a beating heart. Sometimes intimate sweaty relations with the wrong person just seems like a good idea at the time.
CRYING WOMAN: (angrily) She's fat! He cheated on me with my fat ugly sister! (continues crying)
ANYA: Likes 'em fleshy, huh? Bet you wish he'd bloat up a coupla thousand pounds and pop like a big ol' meat zeppelin, don't you?
CRYING WOMAN: He said he loved me.
ANYA: Oh, gee, then he must have meant it, 'cause hey, guys never say anything they don't really mean, do they?
CRYING WOMAN: But we-
ANYA: They say, "I love you," and, and you think it's true. (crying woman staring at her) They say, "Oh, Anya, I want to be with you for the rest of my life," and, and you believe them, you believe they feel the same way about you, because that's the way love's supposed to be, right?
CRYING WOMAN: Who's Anya?
ANYA: And then you get all excited with the tingly anticipation, but wait! Not so fast! There's the apocalypse, a-and the back from the grave, and the blah blah blah blah blah, and by the time you're finally standing there in that beautiful expensive white dress you've dreamed about ever since you became human, he's gets all heebie-jeebie and decides, "you know, I'd rather just go steady." Beat. The other woman has stopped crying. Now she just looks bitter.
CRYING WOMAN: Men suck. I wish Carl's flesh would-
ANYA: And you know, he said it isn't me, but how can I believe him? I mean ... he knew he didn't want to get married! Deep down he knew, but he lied to me every day for months!
CRYING WOMAN: I wish-
ANYA: He lied and lied and then lied some more, 'cause hey , who's gonna notice with all the other lies flying around like little monkeys? And then he thinks he can just sweep the carnage underneath the rug by saying , "oh-"
Cut to: some sort of underground cavern. A looming shapeless shadow moves across the wall.
VOICE: I'm sorry. Sorry. Pan down and reveal Andrew, sitting on the floor and scooting backwards on his butt as the looming creature pursues him down the tunnel.
ANDREW: Sorry, please! I'll never try to desecrate your chamber again! We finally get a look at the thing chasing him. It's a huge brown scaly demon with thorny things protruding from its chin, a sort of triangular head, teeth like needles.
ANDREW: Just don't hurt me! Please! Andrew has backed into a corner. The demon continues advancing. Then we see Warren and Jonathan behind the demon. Warren zaps it with a cattle prod/taser. Blue electricity sparkles around the demon and it growls in pain.
JONATHAN: Hit him again! Hit him again! Warren continues zapping the demon until it falls over.
WARREN: Wow. These things are tougher than I thought. (as Andrew gets up and joins them) You know, one jolt from this should have dropped an elephant . Andrew grabs the prod from Warren.
ANDREW: You want a piece of this? Huh? (zapping the demon repeatedly) Not so tough, are you now, Puff 'N Stuff?!
WARREN: Hey, hey! We need him fresh, all right, not smoke house.
ANDREW: (stops zapping) I'm done being the bait. Next time one of you can wiggle on the hook. Warren goes over to the demon and squats down to look at it.
WARREN: If this works ... then next time we'll be the thing that everyone's afraid of.
JONATHAN: Okay, so ... what now? Warren has a switchblade knife in his hand. He flicks open the blade.
WARREN: Well, now it's your turn, Sparky. Warren reverses the knife so he's holding it by the blade, then tosses it to Jonathan, who catches it. He looks at it uncertainly, then makes a disgusted face.
Cut to: Spike's crypt, night. Spike holds a glass of blood in one hand and a bottle of liquor in the other. He pours liquor into the blood, puts the bottle down, takes a slow sip.
DAWN: (OS) Does it help? Spike looks over his shoulder. Behind him, Dawn is standing in the doorway with a white bag over her shoulder. Spike looks back at his glass.
SPIKE: Doesn't hurt. He looks over at Dawn again. She fidgets a little.
SPIKE: Not planning a camp-out, are we?
DAWN: No. I'm sleeping over at Janice's. Figured Willow and Tara might want some time to, uh...
SPIKE: (smiles slightly, staring into his glass) Oh, so the birds are flying again, eh? (bitterly) Ain't love grand. He turns to sit in his armchair, not looking at Dawn.
DAWN: I wanted to stop by on my way and, you know. (beat) Everybody's pretty mad at you.
SPIKE: Yeah. Kinda picked up on that.
DAWN: (softly) You're not going to be coming aroundanymore. Are you?
SPIKE: (staring into the distance) It's complicated, Nibblet.
DAWN: (small laugh) Everybody's been saying that.
SPIKE: Must be true then. (drinking)
DAWN: Was it worth it? What you did with Anya? Spike looks over at her in surprise.
SPIKE: Buffy told you?
DAWN: (shrugs) Kinda caught the show. There was a camera somewhere in the Magic Box. (Spike looking shocked) Warren and Jonathan and that other guy have been watching Buffy.
SPIKE: (sighing angrily) w*nk*rs! Dawn walks down the steps and a few feet into the room.
DAWN: (pained) Do you love her?
SPIKE: Oh, no. No. It was just a ... It was a bad day. For both of us. And we just had a few drinks and, things just-
DAWN: No. Not Anya. Buffy. Close on Spike staring at his glass.
DAWN: (OS) Do you really love her? Spike doesn't answer, just looks pained.
DAWN: Then how could you do that to her?
SPIKE: (still not looking at her) Oh, right , 'cause Big Sis was treating me so well up until that point. (Dawn sighing in exasperation) Must still be a bit of the evil left in me after all.
DAWN: I don't know what happened betweenyou two. But what you did last night ... If you wanted to hurt Buffy, congratulations. (quietly) It worked. Dawn turns to leave. Close on Spike staring sadly into his drink as the door closes.
Cut to: a different part of the underground tunnel. It's lit with candles. Across the tunnel at one point there's a shimmery magical barrier. A demon like the one that the Nerds stunned earlier comes walking down the tunnel. When it gets to the barrier it simply keeps walking. The barrier flashes with orange light and makes sizzling noises as the demon walks through it. As the demon continues on, Warren and Andrew emerge from a nook in the tunnel and go over to the barrier.
WARREN: This is it. We found it.
ANDREW: You sure it's in there? Andrew starts to go over to the barrier but Warren stops him.
WARREN: Careful! Only Nezzla demons can pass through the barrier. Warren picks up a rock from the ground and tosses it at the barrier. It sizzles and burns to nothing in an instant.
WARREN: Everything else gets curly-fried.
JONATHAN: (OS) This sucks. Jonathan comes walking out of the nook. He is wearing the other demon's skin like a suit, covering his whole body. It's much bigger than him so it hangs loosely around him. The head-skin is hanging like a hood so that Jonathan's head is free.
WARREN: Just make sure all your skin's covered.
JONATHAN: (whining) Why can't I just use a glamor?
ANDREW: You can't Siegfried and Roy the barrier. It's gotta be the real deal. Warren reaches behind Jonathan and pulls the head-hood over Jonathan's head. Jonathan yells in dismay. The other two laugh.
JONATHAN: Ahh! (muffled, disgusted) It's still wet. (The head is also too big and Jonathan's eyes barely show through the eye-holes)
WARREN: Good. Then it should still be fresh enough.
JONATHAN: (muffled) Should be? Wait a minute, what do you mean, what do you mean, should be? Still laughing, Warren grabs Jonathan and shoves him into the barrier. Jonathan screams. The barrier sizzles and flashes, and lets him through. He falls to the ground on the other side.
WARREN: (chuckling, to Andrew) Huh. Wasn't sure that would work. Andrew looks surprised and a little uncertain. On the other side of the barrier, Jonathan gets up and composes himself.
JONATHAN: (muttering, muffled) Jackass. He shuffles off down the corridor.
ANDREW: You think he knows?
WARREN: Well, if he did, why would he be here?
ANDREW: Why is he? Our mojo's tight, bro. We could've pulled this ourselves.
WARREN: Well, somebody had to guinea pig the meat suit. Were, were you gonna volunteer? Andrew frowns, then laughs nervously and shakes his head.
ANDREW: No. (looks nervously toward the barrier) I don't trust the leprechaun.
WARREN: Okay, just stay frosty. This works the way we planned it, by the end of the evening Jonathan won't be a problem. As Warren is saying this, Jonathan reappears, holding something. He walks through the barrier to rejoin the others.
WARREN: You got it?
JONATHAN: (muffled) Yeah, I got it. He gives Warren a small wooden box.
ANDREW: That's it?
JONATHAN: (muffled) It better be. Jonathan pulls the hood off his head. His face and hair are covered with demon slime.
JONATHAN: No way I'm going back through there. Thing stings like a mother.
ANDREW: Dude, unholy hair gel. (reaching out to touch Jonathan's slimy hair)
JONATHAN: Get off.
ANDREW: Make me, skin job.
WARREN: Shut up. Warren takes out a small electrical device and runs it over the surface of the wooden box. The device has a bunch of little lights that flash randomly. Warren puts it back in his pocket and opens the box.
WARREN: Ohh. The box is divided into two equal compartments. Each one holds a small glass orb, red with white or gold symbols drawn on it.
WARREN: Gentlemen... Warren puts the box on Andrew's outstretched hands and removes the orbs, holding one in each hand.
WARREN: ...the Orbs of Nezzla'khan. (gazing at them) Strength. Invulnerability. The deluxe package.
ANDREW: They're everything I've ever dreamed of.
JONATHAN: You know, those things have been down here for like a zillion years. How do we know they still work? Suddenly a bright purple light explodes from each orb, surrounding Warren. The light begins to pulse rhythmically from each globe and through Warren's body. He gasps and his eyes glow purple. He starts to laugh.
WARREN: Ohh, they work. Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act II
[SCENE_BREAK]
Open on the underground tunnel. The Geek Trio are walking down the tunnel as Warren puts the glowing orbs into a small leather bag attached to his belt.
ANDREW: You don't look any different. I thought they were supposed to make us all huge and veiny. Are you sure they're working right? Sound of growling. Warren looks around as another demon comes around a corner, growling.
WARREN: Let's find out. Warren rushes at the demon. It hits him and he flies against a wall, turns back and grabs the demon's arm and kicks it in the back of the legs. The demon falls to its knees. Warren wraps his arms around its head and twists, breaking the demon's neck. It falls down dead. The other two stare in amazement.
JONATHAN: Mahatma!
WARREN: Welcome to the show, boys.
ANDREW: That was so hot! (Warren nodding)
JONATHAN: Lemme try 'em! Jonathan runs over and grabs for the bag holding the orbs. Warren grabs Jonathan's wrist.
WARREN: Watch the paws, little man. (lets go)
JONATHAN: Ow. (cradling his wrist) We're supposed to share.
WARREN: Oh, relax. All right, you'll each get a whirl. (nodding) As soon as I'm done playing with 'em. Warren smirks evilly.
Cut to: exterior shot of Xander's apartment building, day. Sound of knocking.
Cut to the hallway outside Xander's apartment. Buffy stands in front of the door. It opens to reveal Xander. He doesn't look thrilled to see Buffy.
BUFFY: Hey.
XANDER: Hey. Xander turns away, leaving the door open. We see that he has a beer can in his hand. He walks back into the apartment. Buffy follows him in, closing the door behind her.
XANDER: I think there's still a cold one in the fridge.
BUFFY: Thanks, but, uh, I think it's still a little early for me. Xander just looks at her, then sits on a sofa. Buffy sits on a chair opposite.
BUFFY: (softly) She loves you. You know that. Anya was just ... She was hurting. She was ... hurting and, and she did this really stupid thing.
XANDER: With your boyfriend.
BUFFY: He's not my boyfriend.
XANDER: I know why Anya ... I understand, I do. (shaking his head) But you... Buffy looks down at her feet.
XANDER: (still shaking head) All those times I told Spike to get lost ... that he didn't have a chance with a girl like you. (laughs bitterly)
BUFFY: You don't know how hard it's been.
XANDER: What, lying to me?
BUFFY: (angrily) Being here. After I was brought back. Xander looks chastised. Buffy sighs, calms down.
BUFFY: You have no idea how hard it is just being here.
XANDER: You could have told me.
BUFFY: You didn't want to know.
XANDER: So you went to him instead?
BUFFY: Xander, what I do with my personal life is none of your business.
XANDER: (softly) It used to be. Buffy fidgets like she doesn't know how to answer that.
BUFFY: It just happened, okay?
XANDER: (chuckles bitterly) Oh, like, uh, "Say, you're evil. Get on me"?
BUFFY: You fought side by side with him when I was gone. You let him take care of Dawn.
XANDER: But I never forgot what he really is. (Buffy looking hurt) God, what were you thinking?
BUFFY: (laughs) You're asking me that? Oh, 'cause your decision making skills have really sparkled lately.
XANDER: I'm not saying I didn't make any mistakes. But last time I checked, slaughtering half of Europe wasn't one of them. He doesn't have a soul, Buffy. Just some leash they jammed in his head. You think he'd still be all snuggles if that chip ever stopped working? Would you still trust him with Dawn then?
BUFFY: (resigned) It doesn't matter. I'm not seeing him anymore. It's over.
XANDER: Yeah. There's a lot of that going around. Xander crumples up the beer can in his hand, tosses it aside, gets up and walks off. Close on Buffy looking upset as we hear the apartment door opening. The door slams and Buffy winces.
Fade to: Sunnydale street, night. People walking around. Sad music. Xander walks down the street looking sad.
Fade to: Magic shop, night. Anya wanders around dusting things at random.
Cut to the street. Xander still walking. Cut back to inside. Anya dusting items on a shelf.
Cut to the street. Xander walks up to a window and peers in through the blinds. Shot of Xander's face from inside. Shot from Xander's point of view, Anya dusting inside the shop while Xander's face is reflected in the window. Anya doesn't notice him. Xander walks on.
Cut to: Willow and Tara's bedroom. The floor and bed are strewn with papers. Willow lies on the bed on her stomach, working on her computer. Tara reclines on the bed propped up by pillows, reading papers. Both are covered by blankets (naked underneath?).
WILLOW: It's all a mess.
TARA: These things take time. We'll figure it out.
WILLOW: Sure. We'll decipher codes, foil evil schemes...
TARA: Finally get out of bed...
WILLOW: I was with you up until there. (Tara laughing) Whoa.
TARA: (sitting up) What is it?
WILLOW: Uh, one of their data CDs. It's filled with encrypted blueprints, schematics... Shot of the computer screen with various blueprints flashing by.
TARA: To what?
WILLOW: I'm not sure. The designations have been stripped.
TARA: Maybe we can cross-reference them with the county clerk's office.
WILLOW: (makes a face) Would that involve getting up?
TARA: (smiling) Eventually.
WILLOW: Then I'm coming out firmly against it.
TARA: (mock-frowning) What about the Trio's evil scheme?
WILLOW: (grinning) Well, I'm kinda busy working on my own. Willow turns away from the computer and toward Tara. Sound of giggling. Tara leans back against her pillows with a smile.
Cut to the Bronze. Several people are sitting/standing by the bar as the bartender pours drinks. Xander is sitting at the end of the bar. The bartender pours into Xander's glass. Close shot on Xander's hand holding the shot glass as the liquor pours. Some of it misses the glass and splashes on Xander's hand. Pan up to the woman next to Xander, looking over at him.
WOMAN: You're all wet. She pushes a cocktail napkin toward him.
XANDER: It's a good thing I'm part fish. (wiping his hand with the napkin)
WOMAN: (smiling) Which part?
XANDER: The part with the hook in it.
WOMAN: Careful. Someone might reel you in.
XANDER: Yeah, but then there'd be the flopping and the ... gasping, and ... sure, maybe it'd work out, but chances are I'd up and leave you at the helm in your white dress. Then find you spawning with another fish who turns out to be spawning my very good friend night and day behind my back. (woman looking confused) Then comes the fighting and again with the flopping and the gasping, 'cause hey , Chicken of the Sea here's not doing too good with the women these days.
WOMAN: Huh?
XANDER: Sorry, I'm just looking to curl up with the quiet alone tonight. Wide shot of the two of them. The woman looks disappointed, turns away. Xander concentrates on his drink.
Cut to the entrance. The Geeks enter, look around. Jonathan looks at his watch.
JONATHAN: (irritated) We don't have time for this.
ANDREW: Ease up, twitchy. Warren looks around, spots something.
WARREN: All right. Long shot of a tall guy and a pretty girl smiling into each other's eyes, holding hands.
WARREN: Let's make some noise. Warren walks forward. The others watch, Andrew excited, Jonathan nervous.
Cut to: close on a vampire face. Someone punches him and he grunts.
Cut to wider shot: the cemetery. Buffy fighting the vamp. He throws a punch which she blocks. Then he spins around, blocks her punch, kicks her in the chest. She does a spin-kick that sends him sprawling.
BUFFY: Not bad. How hard you gonna hit when you're blowin' in the wind? She reaches into her back pocket for a stake. The vamp gets up and attacks her again. She stakes him just as he's leaping into the air for a kick. He dusts, but the kick lands anyway. Buffy gives a cry and goes flying backward. She flies into a headstone, shattering it and landing on the ground behind it. Buffy lies on the ground groaning in pain.
BUFFY: (pouty) That was rhetorical. She goes to get up and winces.
BUFFY: Ow.
Cut to: exterior shot of the Summers house, night.
Cut to the bathroom. Buffy enters, wearing a grey bathrobe and moving slowly, sighing. She goes over to the tub and starts the water running, leans over to check the temperature, putting one hand on her back as she bends over. She sighs loudly as she straightens up.
SPIKE: (OS) You hurt? You're not moving so well. Buffy sighs and walks toward the sink. Reveal Spike standing in the doorway, wearing black shirt and jeans, no jacket.
BUFFY: (standing by the sink, not looking at him) Get out.
SPIKE: We have to talk. (closing the door)
BUFFY: (turns to look at him) I really don't.
SPIKE: Well, this isn't just about you... (pushes the door the rest of the way shut) as much you'd like it to be. Overhead shot of the two of them. Spike stands by the door and Buffy by the sink, with about four feet separating them. Buffy crosses her arms over her chest.
BUFFY: You spoke. I listened. Now leave. Close on Spike. He sighs a little.
SPIKE: (softly) I'm sorry. Not that it matters any more, but I needed you to know that.
BUFFY: Why?
SPIKE: Because I care about you.
BUFFY: Then you might want to try the not sleeping with my friends.
SPIKE: I didn't go to Anya for that. I was looking for a spell.
BUFFY: (outraged) You were going to use a spell on me?
SPIKE: (sighs, exasperated) It wasn't for you! I wanted something . (puts hand on his chest) Anything to make these feelings stop. (angrier) I just wanted it to stop! Buffy looks taken aback. Spike sighs, calms down.
SPIKE: (softly) You should have let him kill me.
BUFFY: (softly) I couldn't do that.
SPIKE: Why?
BUFFY: (moving back toward the tub) You know why.
SPIKE: Because you love me. Buffy bends over the tub, again with one hand on her back.
BUFFY: (annoyed) No. I don't.
SPIKE: Why do you keep lying to yourself?
BUFFY: (whirls around to face him again) How many times- She pauses, composes herself.
BUFFY: (calmer) I have feelings for you. I do. But it's not love. I could never trust you enough for it to be love.
SPIKE: (laughing) Trust is for old marrieds, Buffy. (Buffy rolling her eyes) Great love is wild ... and passionate and dangerous. It burns and consumes.
BUFFY: Until there's nothing left. Love like that doesn't last.
SPIKE: (pacing) I know you feel like I do. You don't have to hide it anymore.
BUFFY: (rolling her eyes) Spike, please stop this.
SPIKE: (whispers) Let yourself feel it. He moves forward, puts his hands on her waist, pulls her toward him. She resists.
BUFFY: No...
SPIKE: You love me.
BUFFY: Ow, no, stop it. They struggle, Spike trying to kiss and grope Buffy, Buffy trying to push him away. Sound of fabric ripping. Spike's hand is inside Buffy's robe.
BUFFY: Spike, no - ow - what are you do- She loses her balance and falls backward toward the tub. Her hand grabs the shower curtain for balance, but it rips off the shower rod and Buffy falls down, hitting her back against the side of the tub.
BUFFY: (yelling) Ow! She falls to the floor beside the tub, groaning in pain. Spike gets on top of her, holding her down. He grabs her face and tries to kiss her as she continues trying to fight him off.
SPIKE: Let it go. Let yourself love me. He continues saying similar things as Buffy continues saying "no" and "stop" and "ow." Spike pulls at her clothing. Buffy gets onto her stomach and tries to pull herself toward the door, but Spike is on top of her, holding her down, pulling her arms away from the door as she continues yelling and protesting. Close on Spike wearing a determined and wild expression. Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act III
[SCENE_BREAK]
Open on the same scene, overhead shot of Spike straddling Buffy on the bathroom floor. Buffy continues struggling.
BUFFY: (yelling) No, stop it!
SPIKE: I know you felt it ... when I was inside you... Close on his hands trying to open her robe. Sound of fabric ripping. Buffy breaks partly free and starts crawling toward the door again. Spike grabs her ankle and pulls her back toward him, flips her over, pins her hands to the floor.
BUFFY: No, ow, ow! (sobbing) Please, please, Spike, please...
SPIKE: You'll feel it again, Buffy...
BUFFY: Please don't do this...
SPIKE: I'm gonna make you feel it. He rips the front of her robe open. Buffy screams and struggles against him as he tries to get her robe off.
BUFFY: Stop! She gives him one last shove with her Slayer-strength and Spike goes flying backward, crashing into the sink and the wall. Buffy gets to her feet, holding her robe closed with one hand. It's torn so that one of her shoulders is exposed. Spike gets up, panting and staring at her. BUFFY Ask me again why I could never love you. Spike looks like he's just realizing what he was doing.
SPIKE: Buffy, my god, I didn't-
BUFFY: (angrily) Because I stopped you. (quieter) Something I should have done a long time ago. A tear runs down Buffy's face. Spike stares at her looking horrified.
Cut to exterior shot of the house.
Cut to aerial shot of Sunnydale, houses lit up in the dark of night.
Cut to exterior shot of the Bronze.
Cut to inside. Andrew and Jonathan walk beside the bar. Jonathan looks nervous. Andrew holds a glass of something involving fruit and a little paper umbrella.
JONATHAN: (looks around nervously) What are we doing here? Somebody might recognize us. (spotting something, sighing in exasperation) Oh, oh, that's just great. Shot of Warren talking to the woman we saw with another guy before. JONATHAN We're risking everything so that Charles Atlas can get a date? He's going to end up getting us thrown into jail. Or worse. (urgently) Maybe you and I should think about-
ANDREW: Warren's the boss. He's Picard, you're Deanna Troi. Get used to the feeling, Betazoid. Andrew walks off. Jonathan stares after him in dismay.
Cut to Warren talking with the girl.
WARREN: ...the clothes, the cars, and the money ... see, it's all just window dressing. He strokes the side of the girl's face. She doesn't look too thrilled with that.
WARREN: Baby, this is what's really important. (holding her hand) Two souls, coming together ...
FRANK: (OS) Hey! The girl's boyfriend returns. He gets in Warren's face. He is much larger than Warren.
FRANK: She only comes together with me. So get lost, shrimp. (girlfriend looking amused)
WARREN: Frankie? Oh my god, is that you? How long has it been? Frank stares down at Warren in confusion. WARREN It's Warren! Remember, Warren, gym class, fifth period? (smiling) You and your jock buddies used to give me such a hard time. (Frank starting to smile) That thing with the underwear? (laughing) God, I thought I'd never stop crying.
FRANK: (grinning) That was you?
WARREN: (big fake grin) Yeah, that was me! (quieter) But hey, no hard feelings. I mean, I know you were just fooling around. (Frank nodding) Like I'm gonna be with your girl in about five minutes.
FRANK: (threateningly) What'd you say?
WARREN: You heard me, meathead. Take a walk.
FRANK: Oh, you're dead, you little- Frank grabs Warren by the shoulders to shove him away, but can't budge him. Frank frowns, tries several times to push Warren away, but he can't.
WARREN: This ain't high school. Warren shoves Frank in the chest with one hand, and Frank flies backward, crashing into some people. The girlfriend looks alarmed.
GUY: Frankie! Another large guy moves toward Warren. Warren turns to face him. As the guy throws a punch, Warren grabs his wrist, immobilizing it, then jerks it to the side, breaking the arm. The guy falls to the floor. Warren turns to find the girl, just as she starts running away. Warren sighs in annoyance. Another guy hits Warren in the back with a chair. The chair shatters. The guy stares at the pieces in surprise as Warren turns around to face him. Warren backhands the guy and he flies across the bar-top and off the other side. Andrew watches this casually, sipping his fruity drink. WARREN Let's party. In the background a couple of people go to help the injured guys. Warren strolls forward, clasps Andrew's arm briefly, walks right past Jonathan without even acknowledging him. He goes over to the bar where a bunch of pretty women are sitting, watching him.
WARREN: Oh, don't worry about the tab, now, ladies. It's on daddy tonight. He slams his fist down on the cash register, causing the drawer to open. Warren reaches across to take out some money. Angle on the door of the men's restroom as Xander emerges, pauses when he catches sight of Warren. Warren turns away from the cash register with a handful of money.
WARREN: Don't worry, babies. (moves toward the women) Daddy's gonna give you some too.
XANDER: (walking up) See now, I think it's the daddy thing that's throwing her. (Jonathan hiding his face) 'Cause incest , not that sexy. Xander and Warren get in each other's faces as Andrew watches and Jonathan covers his face with his hand.
JONATHAN: Aw, crap.
XANDER: So, uh, why don't we leave the ladies to their impending nausea and move the freakshow outside, whaddaya say?
WARREN: (nodding) Okay. But lemme ask you something first. (quietly) You think maybe you could put in a word for me with that Anya chick? 'Cause if she's taking it from a vamp ... (smirking) I think I might have a chance . Xander punches Warren square in the face. Warren barely even moves. Xander clutches his hand in pain.
WARREN: No wonder she's screwing a dead guy. You hit like a girl.
XANDER: (painfully) Well, at least I know how to get one. Warren scowls angrily, punches Xander. Xander flies backward across the room, lands on the floor on his back. People exclaiming, gasping, etc. Xander lies on the floor groaning in pain. Warren walks quickly toward him, shoving a pool table out of the way as if it were nothing. Xander is bleeding from the nose, blood running down his face.
WARREN: Let's see how popular you are without a face. Jonathan hurries over andgrabs Warren's arm.
JONATHAN: Warren, we have to go.
WARREN: We go when I'm ready.
JONATHAN: (very nervous) Hey, it's your call, but ... (showing Warren his watch) we're gonna miss that thing you wanted to do tonight (Warren sighing, exasperated) if we don't leave right now. That's all I'm saying. Warren sighs and nods reluctantly. He bends over a little to address Xander.
WARREN: It's your lucky night, Shemp.
ANDREW: We're just gonna leave him there? What if he sics the Slayer on us?
WARREN: Bring her on. Warren turns and walks off. Andrew follows casually. Jonathan makes a little apologetic hand-gesture at Xander, and follows the others.
Cut to: Summers house, foyer. The door opens and Xander enters, his face still bloody.
XANDER: (calls) Buffy? I found Warren. He glances around. XANDER Actually, my face kinda found him- He stops as he sees Spike's leather jacket hanging on the banister. Xander strides over to it, picks it up. His expression is grim as he starts up the stairs.
Cut to the bathroom. Xander bursts in holding the jacket.
XANDER: This what you call not seeing Spike anymore- He pauses as he sees Buffy. She's sitting on the floor looking very upset.
XANDER: What did he do? Close on Buffy's legs. Her robe hangs loosely and one thigh is exposed, with a big ugly bruise on the inside of the thigh.
XANDER: Did he hurt you?
BUFFY: (sighing, shaking her head) He tried. He didn't...
XANDER: Son of a bitch. (turns to storm out)
BUFFY: (softly) Don't. Xander stops in the doorway.
BUFFY: (tearfully) Please, just ... don't. Xander stares at her in concern. A loud door-slamming noise from downstairs makes them both jump. Willow rushes in, smiling.
WILLOW: Hey, I think we finally have something- She pauses, seeing Xander's bloody face and Buffy's bruised condition. Buffy quickly pulls her robe down to hide the bruise on her leg.
WILLOW: What happened?
BUFFY: Nothing. Xander looks down at Buffy as she composes herself.
BUFFY: What'd you find out?
Cut to the dining room, a little later. Buffy, now dressed, sits at the table with Willow and Tara. Xander stands nearby holding an ice pack against his face. The table is covered with the papers and books from the Geek lair, plus Willow's computer.
WILLOW: We were able to decipher pretty much everything except these. Willow holds a set of papers with weird symbols on them.
TARA: It isn't written in any ancient language we could identify.
XANDER: (chuckling) It's Klingon. They're love poems. (catching himself, embarrassed) Which has nothing to do with the insidious scheme you're about to describe.
BUFFY: What do you got for me that doesn't rhyme?
TARA: Um, this. (holding up a CD-ROM)
WILLOW: It was filled with encoded blueprints and schematics. (handing Buffy a pile of papers)
BUFFY: To what?
TARA: Um, banks, armored car routes, corporate vaults ... This is big.
WILLOW: They're looking to score some serious dinero. We don't think they're planning just one job.
XANDER: Spree, anyone?
BUFFY: I, I can't cover all of these at once.
WILLOW: You don't have to. We think there's one they may hit tonight.
TARA: It's time sensitive.
XANDER: Be careful. Warren's gone all Mighty Mouse. Emphasis on the might.
BUFFY: Good. Then I won't have to hold back.
Cut to Spike's crypt. The door bursts open and Spike rushes in, still without his leather coat. Flash to the earlier scene of Buffy protesting and struggling. Flash back to now. Spike closes his eyes and clenches his jaw, looking pained. The sound of Buffy crying and begging continues. Flash to the bathroom again. Buffy struggling and crying. Flash back to now. Spike strides across the room and picks up a bottle of alcohol and a glass. He pours, puts the bottle down, drinks. Flash to the bathroom. Spike on top of Buffy, pinning her down.
SPIKE: I'm gonna make you feel it. Flash to now. The glass shatters in Spike's hand. He stares at it, lowers his hand slowly.
CLEM (OS): Uh ... knock knock? Reveal Clem standing in the doorway holding a paper bucket of fast-food. He waves tentatively.
CLEM: I was just in the neighborhood so I thought, you know... Clem walks into the room. Spike stares at the floor sullenly.
CLEM: ...there's a Nightrider marathon on the TV, so, uh... (holding up bucket) I got hot wings!
SPIKE: (shakily) What have I done? Beat. Spike frowns, looks bemused.
SPIKE: Why *didn't* I do it? (looks up at the ceiling, sighs) What has she done to me?
CLEM: She done who? (Spike waves his hand dismissively) Ohh. The Slayer, huh? Gosh. (shaking head) She break up with you again?
SPIKE: We were never together. Not really. She'd never lower herself that far.
CLEM: She's a sweet girl, Spike, but hey. Whew. Issues. (Spike giving a sarcastic grin) And no wonder, with the whole coming back from the grave and whatnot. Hey, I had this cousin, who got resurrected by some kooky shaman... (chuckles) Whoo-boy! Was that a mess.
SPIKE: (desperate) Why do I feel this way?
CLEM: (shrugs) Love's a funny thing.
SPIKE: Is that what this is? (Clem looking uncertain) I can feel it. Squirming in my head. (puts hand to his head)
CLEM: Love?
SPIKE: The chip. Gnawing bits and chunks. Spike puts his fingers against his head as if he's trying to dig his way into his skull.
CLEM: Uhh ... maybe a wet cloth?
SPIKE: You know, everything used to be so clear. Slayer. Vampire. Vampire kills Slayer, sucks her dry, picks his teeth with her bones. It's always been that way. I've tasted the life of two Slayers. But with Buffy... (grimacing in anguish) It isn't supposed to be this way! He grabs a piece of furniture and shoves it over, with accompanying crashing noises.
SPIKE: (angrily) It's the chip! Steel and wires and silicon. (sighs) It won't let me be a monster. (quietly) And I can't be a man. I'm nothing.
CLEM: Hey. Come on now, Mr. Negative. You never know what's just around the corner. Things change.
SPIKE: Yeah, they do. Spike gives a bitter sarcastic laugh. Clem looks at him, kind of helpless. Then something occurs to Spike. His grin turns nasty.
SPIKE: If you make them.
Cut to: an amusement park, shut down for the night. A banner reads "Opening Weekend!" Pan across closed concession stands, to a large stone gate with lettering over the archway reading "WILD RIVER ADVENTURE." Pan further to reveal two men standing beside an armored truck. One man wears a security uniform, the other a dark suit. They check something on a clipboard, and then the security guard puts two bags into the back of the truck. A second guard comes around from the other side of the truck.
GUARD #1: All right, that's the last one. Guard #1 takes the clipboard from the guy in the suit, and signs it. Guard #2 is closing the truck. GUARD #1 Quite a haul, huh? (gives back the clipboard)
SUIT: Always the biggest gate of the year.
GUARD #1: Yeah.
SUIT: Don't lose any.
GUARD #1: Yeah. The suit guy takes the clipboard and walks off.
Cut to the front of the truck. Guard #2 is at the wheel as Guard #1 climbs into the passenger seat and shuts the door.
GUARD #2: Wanna grab a bite after? (Guard #1 nodding) I think Ruby's is still open. Guard #2 puts his foot on the gas pedal, but nothing happens. Close on Warren at the back of the truck. Wider shot of Warren lifting one rear corner of the truck off the ground. Close shot on the right rear wheel, spinning in the air. Cut back to the cab.
GUARD #2: What the hell? Another shot of the spinning wheel. Reveal Andrew and Jonathan, both wearing black turtlenecks with black zipper jackets over them. In the cab, the guards slide toward the side of the truck as Warren tilts it further.
GUARD #1: There's something back there! Warren continues lifting.
ANDREW: Man, I can't wait to get my hands on his orbs. Warren shoves the truck over onto its side.
JONATHAN: (sarcastic) Yeah, I'm sure he'll be giving 'em up any second now. Warren rips the rear door off the truck.
BUFFY: (OS) Hey. Reveal Buffy standing on top of the overturned truck.
BUFFY: Is this your bank? Warren stares up at her.
BUFFY: 'Cause if not, there's gonna be a fee for that. She starts to leap down at Warren. He reacts, puts up his arms and catches her as she falls toward him. He throws her backward over his head. She lands on the ground several yards away, and gets up again.
WARREN: (striding toward her) I was wondering when Super Bitch would show up.
BUFFY: You really got a problem with strong women, don't you?
WARREN: Nothing I can't handle. Buffy ducks his first swing, the second catches her in the face. Warren blocks her punch, holds her arm and hits her with his other hand. They exchange a few blows and Buffy goes down. WARREN You seem a little off. This a bad day?
BUFFY: (gets up) It's getting better. She lands several strong kicks in a row, grabs Warren and flips over him, kicks him from behind. He goes down and immediately rolls back to his feet. Buffy grabs the large metal door that Warren ripped off the truck, and hits him with it. He stumbles into the stone gate, hard. Bits of plaster dust fall on his head.
WARREN: That all you got? He looks up a moment too late as the stone gate collapses, a pile of stone and rubble falling right on Warren's head, engulfing him.
ANDREW: (screams) No! Jonathan stares in dismay. Buffy looks over at the other two geeks.
BUFFY: There's two ways this can end. And right now? I'm thinking they're both gonna hurt. Andrew suddenly starts to smile.
ANDREW: I think you're right. Buffy turns around to see Warren emerging from the rubble.
WARREN: What's the matter baby? You never fight a real man before? Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act IV
[SCENE_BREAK]
Same scene. Warren lands two strong punches on Buffy before she ducks the third and kicks him. He blocks her swing, lands several more punches. Buffy grabs his hand and twists around, holding Warren's arm behind him and kicking him in the stomach. She ducks another punch and kicks him. He falls against the overturned armored truck. Buffy watches as Warren pulls himself upright again.
WARREN: Wow. That almost hurt, kitten. Buffy kicks him and punches him several times, with little effect. Warren grabs her and slams down on her arm. Buffy makes an expression of pain. Warren kicks her backward, grabs her again.
ANDREW: Kill her! Kill her! Jonathan stares from the fight to Andrew and back, looking alarmed. Warren continues beating on Buffy. He gets her legs out from under her and she goes down.
WARREN: You know who I am? Huh, Slayer?
BUFFY: You're a murderer. (getting up)
WARREN: Well, that too, but more to the point- Buffy swings at him, he blocks the punch and backhands her. WARREN I'm the guy that beat you. Again she swings, again he blocks and hits her. Buffy reels backward, looking shocked.
WARREN: And it's not the muscles, baby. He kicks her backward.
WARREN: It's the brains.
BUFFY: I'll remember that when I knock 'em clean out of your- Suddenly Jonathan leaps onto Buffy from behind, grabbing her around the neck. Buffy grunts and stumbles forward, trying to pry him off.
WARREN: (amused) Whoa! Sparky, I didn't think you had it in you. Close on Jonathan and Buffy struggling. Jonathan mutters into Buffy's ear through gritted teeth.
JONATHAN: (quietly to Buffy) The orbs! Smash his orbs. Buffy throws him off. He lands on the ground and rolls away as Warren attacks again. Buffy blocks a couple of punches, but then Warren lands one that sends her falling against a park bench. The bench breaks into pieces. Warren strides over as Buffy is still lying in the wreckage of the bench.
WARREN: Say good night, bitch. Warren pulls his fist back for a final punch. This pulls his jacket back, revealing the pouch on his belt. Buffy sees it. Before Warren can move, she lunges forward, grabs the pouch, and slams it against the ground. Blue light flashes, suffusing Warren, then leaving him and shooting toward the smashed orbs. Warren looks dazed. Buffy stands up.
BUFFY: Good night, bitch. She does a serious spin-kick that sends Warren flying back and tumbling to the ground near his comrades. He climbs slowly to his feet, looking scared.
BUFFY: (advancing) You're nothing but a sad little boy, Warren. But it's time you grow up, and pay for what you've done.
WARREN: (panting) Get away from me! He pulls off his jacket, revealing an apparatus strapped to his body, including a pair of silvery tanks on his back. WARREN I swear to god I'm gonna take you down. You piece of... Buffy stares in disbelief as Warren pulls a switch and the jet-pack activates, lifting him straight up into the air.
BUFFY: (sighing, almost whining) Oh, come *on.* Shot of Warren still shooting up into the sky. Shot of the other two nerds. Jonathan is watching Warren go, shocked. Andrew stares calmly at Buffy.
ANDREW: Well played, Slayer! Andrew pulls off his jacket, revealing an identical jet-pack. Buffy can't believe it.
JONATHAN: (whines) Why didn't I get one of those?!
ANDREW: (to Buffy) This round to you. But the game is far from over. Andrew activates his jet-pack and lifts off as Buffy and Jonathan stare. But Andrew was standing underneath a roof overhang. He hits it with his head, hard, and falls to the ground unconscious. Jonathan stares apprehensively at Buffy. Sound of police sirens.
Cut to: exterior police station. A car with its siren wailing and lights flashing pulls up and stops. The driver and his partner get out, open the rear doors and take out Andrew and Jonathan, both handcuffed. The cops begin leading them inside.
JONATHAN: (furious) Jet packs. You jerks were setting me up to take the fall.
ANDREW: (upset) He left me. He flew away and left me. They enter the police station, go down some steps and into a lobby area. Various cops and handcuffed prisoners are moving about, etc. Andrew and Jonathan pause and stand there looking around. Andrew is crying.
JONATHAN: Oh god. The Big House.
AUDREW: (crying) How could he do this to me? He promised we'd be together, but ... he was just using me. He never really loved- (catching himself) ...hanging out with us. The cops lead them over to a bench and sit them down.
ANDREW: You think he'll come back for us? I mean ... he wouldn't just take off, would he? Jonathan gives him a look of contempt.
Cut to: a highway somewhere, night. The lights of Sunnydale are visible in the distance. Spike rides up on his motorcycle, cigarette in his mouth. He stops and looks over at the city.
SPIKE: Get nice and comfy, Slayer. I'll be back. And when I do ... things are gonna change. He tosses his cigarette onto the ground and rides off.
Cut to: exterior shot of the Summers house, day.
Cut to Willow and Tara's bedroom. They are standing by the mirror as Willow finishes buttoning up her blouse. It's white and frilly. Tara is also fully dressed.
WILLOW: Hey. Clothes.
TARA: Better not get used to 'em.
WILLOW: Hmm, yes ma'am. Willow grabs Tara's belt loop and pulls her in for a kiss. Then they hug. Tara smiles happily. Then spots something over Willow's shoulder.
TARA: Mmmm... Xander!
WILLOW: (pulling out of the hug) Okay, not quite the response I was fishing for.
TARA: No, he's here. Tara goes to look out the window. We can see Buffy below in the backyard, and Xander walking up behind her.
WILLOW: (opening a dresser drawer) Think they're making up?
TARA: (turning from the window, smiling at her) I hope so, that's the best part.
Cut to the backyard. Buffy has a stick and is using it to poke at the bushes and weeds. Xander comes up behind her, looking awkward. It's a beautiful sunny day.
XANDER: Time for the Spring Poking already?
BUFFY: (turns to see him) Just making sure there are no more Evil Trio cameras. Or Evil Uno.
XANDER: The sinister yet addictive card game?
BUFFY: Warren. Jonathan and Andrew got clinked, but ... Warren pulled a Rocket Man.
XANDER: You'll find him. He won't be much good without his friends.
BUFFY: (softly) No, he won't. They both move to sit side-by-side on a wooden bench. Xander fidgets uncomfortably, then takes a deep breath.
XANDER: How did we get here?
BUFFY: Scenic route. Long drive.
XANDER: The past few weeks...
BUFFY: I know.
XANDER: I thought I hit bottom, but ... it hurt. That you didn't trust me enough to tell me about Spike. (pauses, softly) It hurt.
BUFFY: I'm sorry. I should have told you.
XANDER: (small smile) Maybe you would have, if I hadn't given you so many reasons to think I'd be an ass about it.
BUFFY: Guess we've all done a lot of things lately we're not proud of.
XANDER: (slightly larger smile) I think I've got you beat.
BUFFY: Wanna compare?
XANDER: Not so much. Beat. They smile tentatively at each other. XANDER I don't know what I'd do ... without you and Will.
BUFFY: (teary) Let's not find out. Xander nods. They hug. BUFFY I love you. You know that, right? Xander spots something over Buffy's shoulder and his eyes widen in alarm.
XANDER: Buffy! Reveal a very angry Warren striding toward them, fast. He still wears the all-black outfit from last night. Buffy and Xander jump up, turn to face him.
WARREN: You think you can just do that to me? You think I'd let you get away with that? (laughs crazily) Think again. Suddenly he raises a gun and fires wildly at them. Buffy frantically shoves Xander down. He tumbles to the ground. Warren runs off, firing wildly into the air over his shoulder as he goes. Closeup of one bullet shattering a window. Shot of Willow still standing by the dresser, smiling. Suddenly, redness splatters across her white blouse. She looks surprised. Shot of Tara still standing with her back to the window, looking surprised. There's a large red spot on Tara's chest, right over her heart.
TARA: (frowning) Your shirt. Tara falls forward.
WILLOW: (shocked, rushing forward) Tara?
Cut to the backyard. Xander gets up, brushes himself off.
XANDER: Sweet fancy Moses! Where the hell did he- Xander stops, looking to his left. Pan quickly over to Buffy, lying on the ground on her back, staring upward.
XANDER: Oh god!
Cut to the bedroom. Tara lies on the floor. Willow grabs her shoulders.
WILLOW: (desperate) Tara?! Baby? Willow rolls Tara over, pulling her onto her lap. Tara lies limp in Willow's arms.
WILLOW: (sobbing) Baby, come on! Get up!
Cut to the backyard. Buffy has a red spot in almost the same place as Tara's. Xander kneels over her, holding her shoulders. Her eyes close, then slowly open again.
XANDER: (desperate) Oh god. Buffy? Buffy! Buffy! Xander presses his hands against the wound, making more blood well out.
Cut to the bedroom. Willow cries harder as Tara continues not responding. Willow rocks back and forth holding Tara in her lap.
WILLOW: No... no... (crying) Shot of Buffy lying on the ground staring blankly at the sky as Xander continues trying to stop the bleeding. Close shot on Tara's face and the bullet hole in her chest. Willow lifts her head and bares her teeth. Her face is wet with tears and her eyes are completely black ... then they go completely red. Blackout.
Executive Producers: Joss Whedon and Marti Noxon.
|
Plan: A: Spike and Buffy; Q: Who has been sleeping together? A: The Trio; Q: Who does Buffy stop when they attempt a large-scale theft? A: Warren; Q: Who escapes with a jetpack? A: Willow's arms; Q: Who is Tara in the arms of when she dies? Summary: Willow and Tara reconcile, and Tara tells Willow that Spike and Buffy have been sleeping together. Buffy stops The Trio when attempting a large-scale theft. Andrew and Jonathan are caught and imprisoned, but Warren escapes with a jetpack. Furious at being thwarted once again, Warren attempts to shoot Buffy, wounding her but also hitting Tara, who collapses and dies in Willow's arms.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Sarah: I'm Zach and Gail's daughter. Sarah Salvatore. Why don't you believe me?
Stefan: Because Sarah Salvatore is at Duke university, where she studies as an art major. Now, who the hell are you?
Sarah: My name is Monique.
Enzo: I want the whole story.
Stefan: Don't do this.
Matt: No!
Enzo: I'll find out sooner or later.
Caroline: So, my mom has a brain tumor. Then I'll just give her vampire blood.
Stefan: If our blood cured cancer, we would've heard about that by now.
(Sobbing)
Jo: In our coven's tradition, the twins merge their strength. The stronger one wins and-- The weaker one dies.
Liv: Why should we have to die because our sister's too weak to defeat our psychopath of a brother?
Luke: Merging is our duty to the coven. It's why we were born.
Kai: This is the anti-magic border.
Damon: You sucked up all that magic from the Traveler's spell.
(Kai levitates Alaric and slams him into a tree) Aah!
Kai: A lot of magic.
Elena: I don't know what we were or are or what we're supposed to be, but I want to see you.
Damon: Come over.
Damon: Anybody there?
Kai: I may have put a cloaking spell on us.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC GRILL ]
Kai: See, we never went out to dinner when I was a kid, so, I always had this fascination with chefs and fine dining. Dad actually lets me cook... Taught me to measure by eye. Seasonings to taste, all that stuff, but it's different now in the restaurant world.
(Elena wakes up, Kai talking in the background)
Kai: ...Everything's on time. It's like, the fries go in, it dings and you take 'em out. Literally no guess work.
(Elena's hands tied with rope soaked in vervain)
Elena: Why am I here?
Kai: Uh, well I spent eighteen years in abandoned restaurants and now I'm showing off the fruits of my labor.
(Kai starts eating eggs)
Elena: I don't mean the Mystic Grill
Kai: Oh, you mean like, here here, in Mystic Falls. (laughs) Sorry, I'm nervous. You're like, really pretty.
Elena: Why am I here, Kai?
Kai: Well, I took the spell that was keeping supernaturals out of Mystic Falls and I, I like absorbed it...Like ate it, I guess. (Takes another bite) It's cool, huh? First I eat magic, and then eventually, I lose it. But a huge spell like that? I mean, come on. Magic's oozing out of me, it's all over the place. You know, I didn't quite realize I was out of control until I met the manager of the Grill a few hours ago. And he was all like, (mocking voice) "Hey, you can't come in here; we're closed. And you have an unconscious girl over your shoulder." (Elena laughs sarcastically, unamused) And then I was like, "Don't judge me." And then I gave him a heart-attack--tried to, but all I did was make him vomit uncontrollably, which was like, ugh, let's stop that. (Elena stares at him, disgusted) So then I tried again and I think I broke his spine? I mean, I'm not, I'm not really sure, because the third time I tried the spell, he kinda exploded in blood. Whoops. (Takes a drink of coffee)
Elena: What the hell is wrong with you?
Kai: I just told you, I have too much magic. (Elena shakes her head) You know, it wasn't until after my test run with the manager that I realized, if I start to merge with Jo and my gushing fountains of magic turn her into that guy, then I'm not gonna have a twin for the merge. So, Elena, that is why you are here. (takes another bite) Because I need to get my magic under control. (Elena glares at Kai) By practicing with you. Or rather, by practicing on you. (Elena looks horrified) Oh, PS: Silver lining, after the manager finally stopped thrashing around, I finally managed a cloaking spell. Thank you. (takes a drink of orange juice; Elena is still glaring) It's easy to do and...undo. Phasmatos oculix. (Dead manager appears on table in front of Elena)
Elena: (gasps and scoots back in her chair, horrified)
Kai: Table for three (laughs) You had no idea.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ BOARDING HOUSE ]
(Birds chirping; close up on a sleeping Stefan; bottles clanking; thudding; music playing; another thud)
Stefan: (gets up, goes downstairs and into the kitchen; Jeremy is standing there, shirtless, a towel around his waist) Oh. Because that's the first thing I wanna see in the morning.
Jeremy: Sorry, I forgot you lived here. (leaves kitchen)
Stefan: Yeah. Hey, any chance you could help me out with some speakers at Caroline's--(Jeremy's gone) house? (Stefan checks the coffee pot, it's almost empty) Thanks for the coffee.
(Clattering; Stefan goes to check it out)
Liv: Ow!
Jo: Sorry! Are you okay?
Liv: (Comes out into the hallway, her clothes smoking) Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just clothes and skin. (See Stefan) Hey, where can I get a tee shirt?
Stefan: Damon's room. Upstairs, end of the hall. (walks into living room to find Jo and a mess) What are you doing in my house?
Jo: Fire spell. Sort of. It turns out, getting back in touch with your magic isn't anything like riding a bike. (laughs)
Stefan: Oh.
Jo: I am sorry about that vase, though. Was that expensive?
Stefan: Well, I don't know. But the Smithsonian would. You should call them.
(Alaric comes in holding a large paper bag)
Jo: (stands and goes over to Alaric) Oh, thank God. Breakfast. Please tell me that you brought mimosas.
Alaric: Do you actually think I'd watch this sober?
Stefan: And, what exactly are we watching?
Jo: Today, we make smores. In a month, I win the merge and become leader of my coven, guaranteeing it's survival. Liv has me on a 30-day regimen between now and the next celestial event.
Stefan: And this regimen has to happen in my living room...why?
Alaric: Damon feels guilty.
Stefan: What's new? And where the hell is he?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITEMORE HOSPITAL ]
(Close up of Damon snoring)
Liz: I paid extra for this room to be a single.
Damon: (stretching) Well, you clearly underestimate the number of women who'd die to spend a night with me.
Liz: Well, I'm not dead yet. (laughs) Any word from Elena?
Damon: (lounging back in his chair) Oh, I got words. Plural. I got, "Something came up at the dorm, had to bail, can we raincheck?" and an emoticon of a cold shower.
Liz: Ouch. Have you at least managed to patch things up with Ric?
Damon: Well, baby steps. Step one: allow him to turn my house into Hogwarts. Step two: call in a favor from the Sheriff. Ask her to put out an APB on a super-charged serial killer named Kai Parker.
Liz: (checking her phone) Yeah, I already had my guys on the lookout. No one matching Kai's description popped up overnight.
Damon: What the hell is he doing?
Caroline: (enters the room) Bad news is: the employee kitchen didn't have a juicer. Good news is: they do now.
Liz: What is this?
Caroline: It's a kale smoothie. It's good for DNA cell repair (Liz looks to Damon, who shrugs) and for slowing cancer. Oh, are you warm enough?
Liz: I'm fine.
Caroline: Let me just get you another blanket. (gets blanket out of drawer)
Damon: So you can literally smother her?
Caroline: (covering Liz up) I'm just trying to help here, since apparently, modern medicine takes forever. I don't understand why we can't skip all the guess-work and go straight to something that works. Like vampire blood.
Liz: We are not having this conversation again, sweetheart.
Caroline: Okay, then what do you want to talk about? How the doctors can't operate, how chemo won't work, how radiation won't shrink the tumor? Damon, feel free to jump in with your support here at any time.
Damon: Well, I think that would require you having my support, Caroline.
Caroline: You don't think that our blood will work?
Damon: For 170-odd years, I've never known an instance where our blood cured cancer. But hey, sheriff, if you want to be a guinea pig in an experimental study involving weird, unpredictable magic...Far be it from me to stop you.
Liz: Look, sweetheart. For now, I would like to put my faith in science. Which means going home on doctor's orders, having a nice, quiet day and waiting for more MRI results.
Damon: (getting up from his chair) See? Ahh, mommy knows best. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure those witches aren't destroying my house. Bye, bye. (winks at Liz)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ BOARDING HOUSE; DAMON'S ROOM ]
Liv: (rummaging through Damon's drawers; talking to Tyler on the phone) Damon may be a vile creature, but he has the best clothes.
Tyler: (walking through Whitmore) Should I be wondering why you're in Damon Salvatore's bedroom?
Liv: Jo scorched my shirt.
Tyler: So you're shirtless in Damon's bedroom.
Liv: (laughing) You must be feeling such mixed emotions right now.
Tyler: How's the training going?
Liv: Jo's terrible. If she went up against Kai today, she'd lose in like, nine seconds. Luke totally called that one.
Tyler: Yeah, but you've got time to whip her into shape. Has Luke been giving you crap?
Liv: He's been texting and I've been ignoring.
Tyler: If he finds out you're training Jo--
Liv: He won't. Chill, okay? (hangs up and closes drawer, taking one of Damon's shirts)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ CAROLINE'S HOUSE ]
(Caroline enters her living room, holding a flower)
Caroline: You kept my orchid alive. That's amazing.
Liz: I wanted everything to be just the same when you finally came home.
(Stefan enters the house)
Stefan: Hey.
Liz: What is this?
Caroline: Uhm, Stefan volunteered to move your entertainment center in here, so now you can watch TV from your favorite chair.
Stefan: Yeah, I hooked up the surround sound to your DVD player and I left a universal remote on the table, right there.
Liz: Well, thanks. Guess it never occured to anybody to just...move my chair, but... (Stefan is watching Liz worriedly; Liz smirks) What's the matter? Never seen anyone with Stage 4 cancer before?
Stefan: Actually, no, I haven't. One of the few perks of starting over ever few decades, real life never really catches up to you.
(Caroline comes back downstairs holding a [i]Friends boxset; she hands it to Liz)[/i]
Caroline: So if you start the Friends boxset now, I'll be back in time for Monica and Chandler's wedding. Stefan, you know how to laugh, right?
Stefan: Opinions vary. Wait, why? Are you leaving?
Caroline: Every minute counts, so I'm going to go get a second opinion from one of the world's leading experts in Grade 4 Glioblastoma. (Liz gives Caroline a look) I couldn't sleep; I Googled.
Liz: And where is the internet sending you?
Caroline: Duke.
Stefan: Duke? You know what, maybe I'll give you a ride. I was thinking of heading that way to check on a friend.
Caroline: A friend?
Stefan: Mmmhm.
Caroline: Stefan, I know all of your friends. Elena. Me. (pretends to think) And then that's it.
Liz: I think it would be better if you had some company on the road. (turns to Stefan) Thank you, Stefan. (Stefan nods and heads for the door)
Caroline: (hugs Liz) I will call you every hour on the hour.
Liz: I will set my watch by it.
Caroline: I love you.
Liz: I love you, too. Bye. (Caroline and Stefan leave; Liz sighs and sits in her chair tiredly)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH SCHOOL ]
(Elena wakes up, hands bound to the ceiling in the hallway)
Elena: We're in my high school?
Kai: They have plenty of restrooms, no flammable surfaces, and everyone's on winter break...Still. You know, it's no wonder America got dumb while I was locked up; they're never in school. (Looking at pictures in the trophy case of the cheerleading squad; grinning) Is that you? Oh, and there's Bonnie. You guys look so innocent. Smiling, like nothing bad could ever happen to you.
(Elena is trying to pull herself free while Kai is distracted)
Kai: (Straightens and looks back at Elena) Anyway, do you mind if I try to turn your blood into acid again?
Elena: (surprised) Again?
Kai: (taking off his jacket) Yeah, that's uh, that's kinda how you got here in the first place. (throws his jacket on the floor) I was trying the whole acid-blood thing and I think I burst a few important capillaries in your brain, because you blacked out.
Elena: Kai, you don't have to do this. Listen to me, you don't have to do this.
Kai: Phasmatos navaro pulsus sanguinox
Elena: Ow!
Kai: Phasmatos navaro
Elena: Stop!
Kai: Sanguinox
Elena: (looks at her ring in horror as it melts) My ring. Kai, you're melting my ring.
Kai: Phasmatos
Elena: Kai, stop it!
Kai: Navaro pul--
(Elena finally pulls herself free, bringing the lights crashing down. She runs into the closest room, which is a chemistry classroom; Kai slowly follow, annoyed)
Elena: No, no, no, no. No, no, no. (reaches sink and rinses off her hand; her ring is gone) No. No.
Kai: Take it that ring meant something to you? (Elena looks around for something to use against Kai) I never understood sentimental attachments to things, because then it's so upsetting when you lose them.
(Elena puts her hand in the sunlight until she catches on fire, then uses the gas from the chem lab with the fire and the fire hits Kai. Elena takes the chance to run through another door in the classroom)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ BOARDING HOUSE ]
(Jo is practicing levitating a book. Damon enters, breaking her concentration; the book falls)
Jo: That doesn't count. I was distracted.
Damon: (to Liv) Are you wearing my shirt? (Liv smiles at him; Damon's phone rings) Magic camp. How may I help you?
Elena: (back at the high school on a school emergency phone; frantic) Damon, Kai has me at the high school. I need your help.
Damon: Whoa. Elena?
(Crashing. Elena hangs up and runs to the door, but when she opens it, Kai is standing there. Elena falls backward)
Kai: (trying to break Elena's neck, but keeps moving other things around instead; Elena is crawling backwards away from him) Really? (Kai walks toward Elena and tries again, but knocks over something else) Dammit. (Elena gets up to run, but Kai finally succeeds in breaking her neck. Kai does a victory fist and walks to stand over Elena) Bingo.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, NORTH CAROLINA ]
(Caroline and Stefan are walking through an art exhibit)
Caroline: (she has her cell to her ear, on hold) So your friend I've never heard of is a world-famous photographer?
Stefan: Well, it's a student exhibition.
Caroline: Oh, goody. Freshman art. Since you're so good at noticing untapped potential. How do you know this person again? (someone talks to Caroline on the other end of the line) Oh! Yes, I did call earlier about a consult with Dr. Moore? Great. (to Stefan) Okay, they can see us right now.
Stefan: You know what? I'm gonna catch up.
Caroline: Okay. Uh, Oncology Center, D4. Come find me.
Stefan: Okay. (Caroline turns and leaves the room; Stefan approaches one of the instructors) Excuse me. Can you point me to Sarah Nelson's exhibit?
Instructor: (smiles) Far corner. Good choice: She's one of our best new students.
Stefan: Thank you.
(Stefan walks over to where Sarah is talking with a group of people, explaining one of her photographs)
Sarah: According to the saying, when a child dies, an angel will take the child in her arms and fly her over all the places she loved best, so she can see them one last time before she goes to Heaven. That's what I had in mind with this aerial point of view. And then I wanted to catch the sunlight flaring off the windows because it obscures the reflection of the viewer who's looking down at them.
Enzo: Good stuff.
(Stefan turns to see Enzo standing beside him)
Stefan: What are you doing here?
Enzo: Same thing you are. Looking for a little...art to decorate my wall. (Enzo sips his wine)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, ONCOLOGY CENTER ]
Caroline: (walking beside Dr. Moore) And that's when I read your article in the "New England Journal of Medicine." You know, the one about tumor reduction using hypothermia treatments?
Dr. Moore: That's not exactly light reading.
Caroline: Well, I didn't say I understood it. (laughs nervously) These are my mom's charts. Look, your bio said that you are an amazing expert on glioblastoma and I really, really need an expert because my mom's doctors are telling her that she's not a cadidate for clinical trials. (looks into the doctor's eyes, compelling her) And you're not gonna give me any grief on insurance or confidentiality or anything except your honest opinion.
Dr. Moore: (looking over Liz's charts) Her doctors are doing everything right. It's a Grade IV tumor. They could try full-brain radiation, but that would seriously impact any remaining quality of life. She'll face cognitive and verbal decline, motor loss, personality change, and meanwhile, she could still develop morphine-resistant pain.
Caroline: So, you're saying that there's no feasible medical solution?
Dr. Moore: I really wish there were. I have a patient in nearly identical condition. He hasn't responded to any treatment. Now, he's just running down the clock.
Caroline: I want to see him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH ]
(Elena wakes up tied to the table, with vervain-covered ropes. Kai is standing over her wearing a Mystic Falls Timberwolves shirt and drinking a soda)
Kai: (grinning) Oh, hello.
Elena: Nice shirt.
Kai: Well, thanks. Yeah, somebody burned my other one. Which was awesome, by the way.
(Elena smirks sarcastically)
Kai: I am starting to see why Damon digs you. You are crazy-pants. Oh, it sucks about that shirt, though.
Elena: So you can care about an inanimate object, but not the people that you kill?
Kai: Oh. (takes a drink of soda) Is going to be like an episode of "Ricki Lake" where I come face-to-face with my demons and change for the better?
Elena: Have you really not cared about anyone?
Kai: (looking nostalgic) I guess I liked my brother, Joey. We played Dr. Mario together and he'd always win. Actually, one of my favorite memories is when I finally beat him (Kai and Elena both are smiling slightly). Of course, my favorite memory is when I finally beat him to death.
(Elena stops smiling and looks disgusted)
Kai: You don't have to waste your energy trying to change me. If Ricki taught me anything, it's that liking yourself is the most important thing. And I like me.
(Outside, Damon and Liv pull up to the school)
Liv: To think, a day almost went by where I wasn't roped into saving one of your friends.
Damon: (getting out of the car) Cry me a river. Just do this stupid cloaking spell so I can go grab Elena and you can get back to wrecking my mansion.
Liv: (sighs) Fine.
(Liv starts setting up candles on Damon's car and preparing the spell)
Damon: What are you doing? The back door's right here.
Liv: I'm not going in there.
Damon: What?
Liv: If Kai even gets a glimpse of me, I'm dead. I'm strong enough to do the spell from out here.
Damon: Whatever. Hope you cloak better than you teach. (Liv rolls her eyes) 'Cause from the looks of my living room, Jo's not learning very much.
Liv: Relax. With a bit of practice, she'll be merge-ready in no time. (Liv looks like she doesn't believes that, but turns back to do the spell) Phasmatos radium cara. Phasmatos--
Damon: (turns and Liv is gone) Liv? Liv? Hey! Liv!
Luke: (appears out of nowhere) Sorry.
Damon: What the hell are you doing here?
Luke: She doesn't have time for this. Invisique.
Damon: (Luke disappears) No!
(on the phone with Alaric)
Damon: So, Liv's gone. I need a Plan B.
Alaric: (back at the boarding house) What do you mean, she's gone?
Damon: Her wonder twin took her and I can't just go blazing in there; Kai will kill Elena to spite me. I need a witch.
Jo: (back at the boarding house with Alaric) I can do it.
Alaric: You can barely light a candle.
Jo: Cloaking is one of the first things they teach you as a Gemini. I learned it when I was a kid.
Alaric: But?
Jo: I'll have to stay beside Damon while I do it, which means I'll have to go inside.
Alaric: Okay, look. There's gotta be some other option.
Jeremy: (comes into the room holding a crossbow) There is. Right here.
Damon: (through the speaker-phone) Let me guess, Jeremy's holding a crossbow.
Jo: No one is killing Kai.
Jeremy: Well, we're not letting Kai kill Elena.
Alaric: Nobody's letting anyone die.
Damon: Anyone have any other ideas?
(Alaric looks at Jo and sighs)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE COLLEGE, LUKE'S ROOM ]
Luke: Dad's pissed, okay? He wants us back in Portland now.
Liv: I was helping them.
Luke: (packing) They can help themselves. We're not their dancing witch-monkeys. (holds up books) Do you wanna bring these books back?
Liv: Take the books, leave the books. Who cares? Did you tell dad I was helping Jo get stronger? Is that why he's pissed? (Luke sighs, but doesn't reply) Of course you did. You're just like him.
Luke: Actually, I can think for myself. I've always said that Kai was too dangerous to become leader of the coven. You've been wasting your time with Jo. We both know she's never gonna beat him.
Liv: You don't get it, do you?
Luke: Get what?
Liv: You just cloaked me and I couldn't fight it. You're stronger than me.
Luke: No, you don't know that.
Liv: Yes, I do. I've known it for months. Since that night when I was trying to bring people back from the other side and you interrupted my spell.
Luke: You were about to collapse. You were already weak.
Liv: We're supposed to be equal. We're not. I know you, Luke. I know you love me. And I know a huge part of you hopes that it's me that makes it through this. But it's not a coin toss anymore. If we merge, you win and I die. That scares the crap out of me. So. If you wanna pack the books, pack the damn books. I'm not gonna be the one reading them.
(Liv leaves Luke standing in their room alone)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC GRILL ]
Matt: (about the manager, lying dead on the table where Kai left him) I came in to do inventory and found him like this. Sorry to bother you on your day off, Sheriff, but--
Liz: No, I'm glad you called. (sarcastically) I don't think he died of natural causes.
Matt: (laughs humorlessly and checks the time on his cell) 22 hours and 18 minutes. That's how long supernatural beings have been allowed back in Mystic Falls and I already know someone who's dead because of it.
Liz: I'm sorry, Matt. We'll figure out who did this and we'll deal with it.
Matt: This is never gonna end, is it? The attacks, the cover-ups? This is our life again.
Liz: This is Mystic Falls. It'll always be Mystic Falls. You love it here, y--
(Sheriff Forbes almost faints and Matt catches her)
Matt: Woah, woah, hey. Sheriff, you okay?
Liz: (stands with Matt's help and nods) Yeah.
(Matt watches her worriedly)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, ONCOLOGY CENTER ]
(Cancer patient is sleeping when Caroline goes in. The room is dark and there's beeping in the background. Caroline closes the blinds on the door before putting down her purse)
(Caroline opens the patient's file)
Caroline: Colin Phelps. Inoperable tumor. They zapped your brain with radiation for months. They still couldn't save you. (Caroline sits on the edge of the bed; Colin moans) Yeah, I'd be groggy too, if I were on this many painkillers. And the doctor said all they can do is make you comfortable while you wait for the end. I'm really sorry to hear that.
(Caroline reads more from the file)
Caroline: Next of kin, none. I'm really sorry to hear that, too. But you see, on my mom's chart, this spot, next of kin, that's where my name goes. Caroline Forbes. I'm all she's got.
(Caroline bites her wrist and puts it to Colin's mouth. The beeping on his heart monitor increases and he opens his eyes)
Caroline: (using compulsion) Hey, I know we just met, but you're not going to remember any of this.
(Colin's heart monitor's beeping slows and he closes his eyes again as Caroline pulls her wrist away, watching him.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH SCHOOL ]
(Elena is still tied up on the floor; Kai is sitting cross-legged across from her, watching her)
Elena: If the spell that you're going for is to creep me out, it's working.
(Kai uses his finger to scratch a 'K' on Elena's face, while not touching her [magic])
Elena: Ow. What are you doing?
(Kai smiles as the scratches heal)
Kai: Oh, nothing. (he leans forward, licks his thumb and uses it to wipe away the remaining blood on Elena's face) Just working on my self-control.
(In the hallway, Damon and Jo are cloaked and looking for Kai and Elena)
Damon: I can hear Kai yammering.
Jo: What's he saying?
Damon: He said it's a shame you don't have vamp-hearing.
Jo: I get why you don't like me, you know? You were bros. A girl comes into the picture...It's awkward.
Damon: It's not awkward, it's annoying.
Jo: Because he's looking out for me?
Damon: Yes. At the expense of logic and reason.
Jo: Oh, let me guess: you've never done that for a girl before?
Damon: Shh.
(Kai walks around the corner, having heard whispering. He takes a drink of soda. Jo and Damon are standing right in front of him, but he can't see them because of Jo's cloaking spell.)
Kai: (walks past Jo and Damon and recycles his can) Okay. (he turns and walks away)
Jo: What do you know? It's working.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, ART EXHIBITION ]
(Sarah is still chatting with the group of people around her about her art)
Stefan: So, I'm guessing you came here to make a demand?
Enzo: (shrugs) I only came to see what you were up to today. I hate unanswered questions and you've left me with a few. Such as, what secret did you need to protect by letting me kill that pitiful con artist pretending to be your long-lost relative, Sarah Salvatore? So, I followed you, in your inconspicuous red Porsche off the exit to Chapel Hill, and here we are. Sarah Nelson's photography exhibition.
Stefan: Why do you care?
Enzo: Well, it seems that Damon is unaware that the branches of his family tree might extend beyong just you. Call me old-fashioned, but I disapprove of secrets between brothers. So, I'll just go tell Sarah what your name is and--
(Enzo moves to go toward Sarah, but Stefan grabs his arm)
Stefan: Don't do that.
Enzo: Why don't you want to meet Sarah Nelson? You came all this way to see her work.
Stefan: What do you want me to tell you, Enzo? That the girl's my relative? Fine. She is Zach Salvatore's daughter, which makes her my great-niece 4 generations removed. I took her mother's body to the ER after Damon killed her. They did a C-section to save Sarah's life, but I kept that little detail from Damon so that she could live a good life in a nice home, where she felt safe and loved. That's my big secret.
Enzo: Why are you so intent on keeping it?
Stefan: You wanna tell Damon that I've been lying to him for the past eighteen years? Go ahead, be my guest. Maybe he'll hate me or maybe he'll realize it was the best thing I could have done for everyone. But either way, once you tell him, you'll have nothing left to obsess about.
(Stefan's phone rings; it's Caroline)
Stefan: Hi.
Caroline: I thought you were meeting me here.
Stefan: Yeah, I got into a bidding war over a piece of art. (Enzo laughs)
Caroline: Okay, that's fascinating. Can you just get here? I'm--I'm conducting an experiment.
Stefan: What kind of experiment?
Caroline: I'll show you when you get here. Just hurry. (she hangs up)
Enzo: You know what, mate? You can keep that piece of art. Photography bores me. I withdraw my bid. (Enzo walks away, drinking his wine.)
(Stefan takes another look at Sarah)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH SCHOOL ]
(Elena is tied up where Kai left her, alone. Her skin is still sizzling from the vervain, but then her ropes disappear)
(Damon places his hand on hers and she can then see him and Jo)
Damon: Hey.
Elena: How are you here right now?
Damon: Jo's invisibility spell. If you can see us, that means you joined the party.
Jo: (looking faint) Come on, we need to get out of here.
Elena: My ring, it's gone. Kai melted it into nothing.
Damon: (grabs Elena's hand and looks for her ring) What?
Jo: I hate to cut this reunion short, but meter's running on this spell.
Elena: Well, there's the tunnels under the school.
Damon: Good call. Boiler room. Stat. Come on.
(Damon and Elena stand and head for the door; Jo's nose is bleeding and she looks like she might pass out)
Damon: (turns to Jo, whose back is now to him) You good?
Jo: I'm good (wipes the blood from her nose away)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WHITMORE COLLEGE ]
Tyler: What the hell are you talking about? You said you and Luke were equal in strength.
Liv: (walking ahead of Tyler, down the hall) Well, I lied. He's stronger.
Tyler: Then we run.
Liv: Run where, Tyler? (Liv stops and turns to face Tyler) We already tried that. My family will hunt me down. They want me to merge.
Tyler: Fine. Then go.
Liv: Screw you.
Tyler: I'm serious. Go. That's what you want me to say, right? So, go. Walk right into your own grave, if that's what you want. I won't stop you.
Liv: I knew you were a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake.
(Liv turns to walk away, but Tyler grabs her hand and she looks back at him)
Tyler: This wasn't a mistake. This wasn't a mistake.
(Tyler pulls Liv closer and they lean, forehead-to-forehead, looking into each other's eyes)
(Footsteps and then Luke comes around the corner; Tyler and Liv turn to look at him)
Luke: (sighs) I called dad, told him we're out.
Tyler: I thought you were about following your destiny.
Luke: Not if my destiny equals killing my sister.
(Liv smiles sadly at Luke)
Luke: (returning the smile with a small laugh) I told you I can think for myself.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH SCHOOL ]
(Elena, Damon and Jo are walking quickly down the hall toward the boiler room; Jo is coughing, weak)
Elena: (stops and looks back at Jo, whose nose is still bleeding) You okay?
Jo: Yeah. Three people is just a lot more to cloak than two.
(Jo reaches Damon and collapses into his arms)
Damon: Woah. Why is your nose bleeding?
Kai: (standing at the end of the hall, smirking) I have a guess. Magic's hard. Isn't it, Jo?
Jo: (wipes the blood from her nose, crying) I'm so sorry.
Damon: Don't sweat it. I want him to see me while I kick his ass. Now, get out of here, okay?
(Jo staggers through door into the next hallway)
(Damon rolls his shoulders and grins at Kai, clearly eager to fight him; Kai makes Elena invisible. Damon looks around and sees that she's gone)
Damon: Where's Elena?
Kai: (sarcastically) Oh, are we not cloaking people anymore? I thought that's what this was.
(Damon speeds over to Kai, but Kai disappears and reappears behind Damon, down the hall. Kai whistles, Damon turns and Kai waves at him, grinning)
(Damon speeds over, breaks the handle of a mop and throws it at Kai, spearing him through the abdomen)
Kai: (appearing beside his illusion of himself) That's gotta hurt. I am definitely getting the hang of this. Cloaking spells, illusions. You know, it's all the same wheelhouse.
(Kai removes his illusion to reveal that Damon actually staked Elena in the chest; Elena staggers and leans against a locker. When Damon moves to go to her, Kai uses his magic to hurt Damon's head, incapacitating him for the moment)
(Kai turns and heads after Jo, while Damon crawls over to Elena, who has slid down to the floor)
(Jo is crawling on the floor and Kai runs up, grabs her arm and hoists her to her feet, dragging her along with him)
Kai: No that I've got the kinks worked out, we can actually do this. Is there an upcoming celestial even that interests you? I'm partial to--(an arrow shoots through Kai's shoulder) Ugh!
(Kai falls to his knees, Jo collapsing on the ground beside him. Alaric runs over and injects Kai with something, knocking him out; Jeremy is standing at the end of the hall with his crossbow; Alaric helps Jo to her feet)
Jo: I'm okay. (Alaric pulls her into a hug)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, ONCOLOGY CENTER ]
(Colin Phelps is up and at the vending machine excitedly; Caroline and Stefan are watching him from down the hall)
Colin: Come on, baby. Come on. (he laughs and hits the vending machine when his candy gets stuck, making it fall out. A nurse comes over and pats him on the shoulder) You have no idea how long it's been since I've had an appetite.
Caroline: An hour ago, he was dying of brain cancer. Now, look at him. (Stefan sighs) Smile, Stefan! This is good news! My blood worked, he's totally fine.
Stefan: It seems too easy.
Caroline: As opposed to what? Vampire blood heals a stab wound like it was never there. It's always easy, Stefan. It is literally magic.
Stefan: Okay, then why have I never heard of our blood curing cancer before?
Caroline: Because vampires don't spend their lives pulling charity work at the sick ward.
Stefan: Look, I want this to work, okay? I do--
Caroline: Stefan, I just...I need you to believe it will work. Or at the very least, just believe that I believe it will work.
Stefan: (sighs) Well, I can see that you believe it.
Caroline: (smiles) Then take me home to my mom.
(Stefan turns and looks at Colin, sighing. He then turns back to Caroline and nods)
Stefan: Okay. Let's go home.
Caroline: (grinning) Okay.
Stefan: Come on. (they walk away)
(Colin is still standing by the vending machine, eating his snack happily)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ MYSTIC FALLS HIGH SCHOOL ]
(Damon is pulling the stake out of Elena's chest)
Damon: Okay, okay. (Elena gasps in pain as Damon pulls out a last splinter)
(Elena is panting in pain)
Damon: What? What's wrong? Didn't I get it? What?
Elena: There must be another splinter still stuck in my heart. (Elena's breathing is labored)
Damon: What? (he starts feeling around inside Elena, looking for the splinter) No. No, no, no, no. Hey, look at me. I'll get it.
Elena: (shakes her head, gasping in pain) If there's any-anything you need to say--
Damon: What? I'll find it, Elena.
Elena: Now's the time.
Damon: Come on. No. (Elena is breathing hard and it slowly turns to laughter. Damon looks at her and starts smiling, relaxing) Seriously?
Elena: (nods, still laughing) Yeah. (she playfully slaps Damon on the shoulder) Oldest trick in the book.
(Damon's hand in on Elena's leg, her hand on top of his. They're looking into each other's eyes, smiling; Alaric and Jo walk into the hall)
Damon: (turns to face them) (sarcastically) Perfect timing.
Alaric: Elena, are you okay?
Elena: (she is holding Damon's hand, smiling) I've never felt more alive.
(Damon smiles)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ DUKE UNIVERSITY, ART EXHIBITION ]
(Enzo is standing, watching Sarah; she walks away with some other students)
Enzo: (to the instructor from earlier) What is it about Sarah's work that I find so uniquely appealing? Perhaps that it's a little dark, has a morbid undertone. Must be a bloodlines thing. Her family's a bit extreme. (Enzo walks over to stand beside the instructor) Her uncle, great-uncle, actually, fourth-removed, is a bloody sociopath.
Instructor: Fourth removed?
Enzo: He's very old. Tried to kill me a few times. Succeeded once. Most recently, he set me up to die, which resulted in days of torture. (Enzo walks over to stand in front of the Instructor, who is looking at him like he's crazy) There I was, getting prodded with a fire-hot poker by a man named Tripp, all the while, keeping my mouth shut and enjoying the pain. If you knew anything about my past, you'd know that this brought back some very unpleasant memories. That's when I started plotting my revenge.
Instructor: So, I see the free wine was a big hit.
(She moves to walk away, but Enzo blocks her path)
Enzo: The best revenge is patient. Cultivated. (Enzo turns to look at Sarah's photography) Only no one sees it coming until it's too late. (he turns back to the instructor, compelling her) But never mind all that. Be a doll and help me box up all these photographs, will you?
(The woman smiles and goes to do as Enzo asked, leaving him looking again at the art)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ BOARDING HOUSE ]
(Kai is tied up and gagged, unconscious on the couch)
Jo: (to Alaric) Sure you're okay having a Pentobarbital-ed houseguest?
Alaric: (smiling) I am. If it buys us enough time to get you back into fighting shape.
(Damon and Elena are sitting at a table in the next room; Elena is trying to get the blood out of her shirt)
Elena: (shyly, to Damon) So, um, assuming that I don't get kidnapped before tomorrow, maybe we can, um, try for that dinner again?
Damon: Ooh, you know, I don't know. I mean, every time we try and go on a date, we get kidnapped, I get sent to a prison world, or your feelings get compelled away. I just--I don't know if it's gonna--
Elena: Are you gonna keep sulking or are you gonna let me take you to dinner?
Damon: Well, I guess we'll find out tomorrow.
Jo: (to Elena) I can help you clean that if you want. One part amonia, two parts meat tenderizer.
Elena: You invented a stain remover?
Jo: I'm not afraid of a little blood. (Elena shrugs, smiles and follows Jo out of the room)
Alaric: (to Damon) What'd I tell you? She's a keeper. (Alaric sits at the table with Damon, putting two glasses of bourbon on the table) You know, I think she's gonna get a handle on this.
Damon: Jo's not strong enough, Ric.
Alaric: Well, she wouldn't lie about it.
Damon: No, no, no. I don't think she's lying about it. He absorbed a spell the size of Mystic Falls, Ric. He changed the game.
Alaric: Look, we got Kai on ice. We'll just wait for his stolen magic to drain away and then she'll beat him.
Damon: What if she can't?
Alaric: Well, she has to. She will.
Damon: Well, all right then. Here's to women who make crazy, screwed up decisions and loving them more for it. (they cheers, take a drink)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ CAROLINE'S HOUSE ]
(Stefan and Caroline arrive at Caroline's house, talking on her front porch)
Caroline: So, if Sarah is Zach's daughter, then does that make you Uncle Stefan?
Stefan: (jokingly) I tell you this secret I've been keeping for 18 years, and that's what you're worried about?
Caroline: No, I think it's incredibly noble that you've been keeping an eye on her all these years. And she's lucky to have you in her life, even if she has no idea.
Stefan: Hey, so, I know it goes without saying, but I would appreciate it it--
Caroline: Your secret's safe with me, Stefan.
Stefan: Thank you.
Caroline: No, thank you. Thank you for coming with me today and for rewiring my mom's speaker system and for just not treating me like a crazy person, because that's how I've felt these past few days. (Stefan takes her hand; they both look at their hands, then into each other's eyes; Caroline takes a deep breath and exhales) So, thank you. Wish me luck.
(Caroline turns and goes inside; Stefan watches for a moment through the window)
(Matt is on the couch; Liz is in her chair. They both turn when Caroline comes in)
Matt: Hey, there you are. We were just about to watch another movie.
Liz: How was Duke, sweetie?
Caroline: It was good. It was really good. Thanks for staying with her, Matt.
Matt: Anytime. See you soon, Sheriff.
Liz: Okay, Matt. Bye.
Caroline: (Matt heads for the door) Bye. (Caroline takes off her coat and puts it on the couch with her purse) So I met with that expert at Duke today. (Caroline sits on the coffee table in front of Liz) And she said that your doctors are doing everything right. And she also said that there is nothing that they can do to cure you.
Liz: (looking disappointed, but obviously trying to be strong for Caroline) That is one doctor's opinion.
Caroline: Waiting for more medical opinions isn't going to change this. You're dying, mom. And we're out of options. Which is why I gave my blood to a cancer patient today. And I healded him.
(Colin Phelps is laying in his bed, asleep)
Caroline: He was dying and my blood healed him. (Liz looks shocked) Look, I'm immortal and you're not. And I always knew that I would lose you one day, but I am not ready to lose you now. You're supposed to be here for my college graduation; we're supposed to argue about flower arrangements for my wedding. We're supposed to have years and years worth of birthday dinners and Christmases and white-water rafting trips. (Caroline is on the verge of tears) I want all of that. I want you to live for me. And I know that that's selfish, but that's the truth.
Liz: (crying) I want that too, honey.
(Colin opens his eyes)
Caroline: Okay.
(Colin starts coughing)
(Caroline bites her hand and drips blood into Liz's tea)
(Colin is coughing harder now; he gets up and staggers over to the window, where he coughs up blood)
(Liz takes the cup)
(Colin is now on the floor, still coughing up blood)
(Liz drinks the tea)
(Colin in lying on the floor)
Colin: Somebody, please! Help me!
Caroline: (to Liz) Everything's gonna be okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ END ]
|
Plan: A: Kai; Q: Who has captured Elena? A: the Mystic Grill; Q: Where does Kai hold Elena hostage? A: the owner; Q: Who did Kai kill? A: his new found abilities; Q: What does Kai plan to practice on Elena? A: Stefan; Q: Who goes to the art exhibition? A: Duke; Q: Who do Caroline and Stefan go to see? A: Enzo; Q: Who follows Stefan to the art exhibition? A: high school; Q: Where does Kai bring Elena? A: her daylight ring; Q: What does Kai melt? A: her home; Q: Where does Luke take Liv? A: a witch; Q: What does Damon need to perform a cloaking spell? A: Jo; Q: Who helps Damon save Elena? A: no treatment; Q: What did the doctor tell Caroline about her mother's condition? A: another cancer patient; Q: Who does Caroline inject her blood into? A: The aftermath; Q: What is the title of the episode? A: sedative; Q: What do they decide to keep Kai under? A: only vampire blood; Q: What can heal Liz? A: a brutal way; Q: How does the patient die? A: Caroline's blood; Q: Who's blood is Liz drinking? Summary: Kai has captured Elena and holds her as hostage in the Mystic Grill after killing the owner. He plans to practice his new found abilities on Elena to master his new magic. Meanwhile Caroline and Stefan start to look for a doctor who could cure Liz, and get to Duke. On the way Stefan goes to the art exhibition held by his niece, the true Sarah Nelson, but he is followed by Enzo. Kai brings Elena to high school and melts her daylight ring. Elena manages to escape Kai and phones Damon who comes with Liv to save her. However, Liv is abducted by her brother, Luke who comes to take her home. Needing a witch to perform a cloaking spell, Jo steps in to help Damon and they both enter the building. They manage to save Elena but Jo is becoming weaker and Kai spots them all. Meanwhile, after learning from a doctor that her mom has no treatment, Caroline decides to inject her blood to another cancer patient. The aftermath is a well-looking person who seems to have defeated the tumor. The patient is feeling alright again so Caroline and Stefan rush back to Mystic Falls. In the school, Kai tricks Damon to stab Elena and goes after Jo. Alaric and Jeremy come in to save Jo just in time and they decide to keep Kai under sedative. Once back home, Caroline reveals to her mother that only vampire blood can heal her and puts some in her tea. The episode ends with the patient slowly dying in a brutal way, just while Liz is drinking Caroline's blood, with whom she now believes can be saved.
|
"The End of the World" 27th Episode of Roswell
Production Code: 2ADA05
[SCENE_BREAK]
(It's the year 2014. Future Max and Future Liz are in the granolith chamber. Max prepares to travel back in time using the granoliths power)
Future Max: I won't leave you.
Future Liz: No, no, no. Max, you have to.
Future Max: If I'm successful, if I can do this, you and I won't exist. Not as we do now.
Future Liz: Max, if you don't do this, we're gonna die. Everyone will. Max, you have to do this. You have to try it.
Future Max: I'll never see you again.
Future Max: Thank you.
Future Liz: For what?
Future Max: For every kiss, every smile.
Future Liz: Max, I don't have any regrets.
(Future Max activates the granilith by inserting a crystal into the base. Future Max appears inside the granilith. He reaches his hand towards Future Liz and she does the same. Future Max is sucked into the top of the granilith. Future Liz is knocked to the ground)
Future Liz: Aah! Ma...Max!
(In present day Roswell, Maria is driving Liz and Alex to Madame Vivian's place)
Liz: I'm so confused.
Alex: I'm so depressed.
Maria: Wimps.
Liz: Max keeps coming to my window and telling me he wants to be with me again, but I know it's...it can never work out.
Alex: Isabel, she gave me another one of those "Alex, you're such a great friend" speeches. It made me want to puke.
Maria: I have Michael Guerin. He's mine. You should have seen his face when he apologized to me. His eyes were practically begging me to take his sorry ass back. I have so landed him for once and for all...I think.
Liz: Where are you taking us, anyway?
Maria: Mmm. To a place where all of our questions will finally be answered. She'll tell us where our future lies with our hybrid freaks. She's a prophet. My mom lives her whole life based on her advice.
Alex: And this is a recommendation?
(Inside the psychic's house, Alex is the first to talk to Madame Vivian)
Alex: So, Isabel and I will be...
Psychic: You are a wonderful friend, her foundation. You will never have a carnal relationship...
Alex: Oh, come on, Madame Vivian, there's gotta be something in those leaves...a few moments of pure lust? Anything? Uh...Story of my life.
(Maria's turn. She asks about Michael)
Psychic: This boy...very volatile.
Maria: That's good for s*x, right?
Psychic: This relationship will not endure.
Maria: Look, lady, I am not necessarily looking to tie the knot myself, but do I at least have a few months?
Psychic: 48 hours, tops.
Maria: 48 hours? Ok, are they a good 48 hours?
(Liz's turn. She asks about Max)
Psychic: I've never seen the cards fall like this before. The boy, he's different.
Liz: Yeah.
Psychic: He's very important, this boy. A leader.
Liz: Yeah, he has this whole other destiny...one that doesn't include me.
Psychic: No. He chooses love.
Liz: What?
Psychic: He chooses you.
Liz: No, no, no, no, see, that's impossible.
Psychic: The reading is clear. You marry your true love. You have happiness. The card here? Intimacy, s*x. You will not be left wanting.
(We see Liz back in her room pretending she's wearing a wedding dress)
Liz: I, Liz Parker, take Max Evans to be...
(Suddenly there is the crack of thunder and Future Max lands outside Liz's window. He walks to the window and crouches so Liz can see his face)
Future Max: Liz.
Liz: Max?
(Opening credits)
Liz: No, no, I don't...I don't know who you are, but you...you're not Max.
Future Max: Liz, I know this is all hard to believe...
Liz: Wh-what? You expect me to believe that the...the granilith is like some sort of time machine?
Future Max: It wasn't intended to be, but it does have an enormous amount of power, and we were able to modify it to artificially create a tear in time space.
Liz: No! No! There is no such thing as time travel, ok...because it is against every rule of physics, of reality, of everything.
Future Max: Look, I realize this is overwhelming.
Liz: No, you're not Max, ok? You...you're like a shapeshifter. You are like some other kind of alien, with, like, the ability to look like Max with that beard and those...and those grey hairs.
Future Max: Do you really see grey?
Liz: This isn't funny, ok?
Future Max: Hold on.
Liz: No! Let go of me!
Future Max: Liz...Liz, it's me.
Liz: Please, just let go of me.
Future Max: If I were a shapeshifter, there's no way I could tell the future. In approximately 10 seconds, I will show up outside your window and begin singing to you...accompanied by a mariachi band.
Liz: A mariachi band. Max wouldn't do anything that cheesy.
Future Max: 3...2...1.
Liz: Well?
Max: I said approximately.
(There is a faint music that starts getting louder)
Future Max: I spent a week learning the lyrics from Mr. Delgado at the hardware store.
(Max and his mariachi buddies start singing to Liz in Spanish)
Liz: Wow, that's really embarrassing.
Future Max: I know...but I had to do something to get your attention. You had shut me out.
(More singing. Max throws up a bouquet of red roses to Liz)
Future Max: As I threw the flowers up to you, I remembered you preferred white roses.
(The roses change from red to white as they are in the air. Liz catches them)
Liz: Why are you here?
Future Max: I can't tell you too much, Liz...only what you need to know...but 14 years from now, we are taken over by our enemies.
Liz: Uh, who's taken over?
Future Max: Everyone. Earth. I need you to help me keep that from happening. We need to change the future. What we do here has to be precise and surgical. No one can know I'm here, especially not me...that is, my younger self.
Liz: Uh, what is it you want to...
Max: Not now...your dad's coming.
(Jeff Parker knocks on the door and enters Liz's room to find out what all the noise is about)
Mr. Parker: Lizzie? What the hell is going on out there? Is that Max again? Max, is that you again? It's 11:00. Tomorrow's a school day...
(Mr. Parker looks down and sees Max and his mariachi band singing and start to walk away)
Mr. Parker: Aw, jeez.
(At the Crashdown, Maria tells Michael about Madame Vivian's prediction)
Maria: We need to talk.
Michael: Talk?
Maria: Yeah, about our relationship.
Michael: You gotta be joking me.
Maria: Some stupid psychic told me that the next 48 hours are critical, so could you just try not to be a bonehead? Is that, like, a possibility?
(Courtney enters)
Maria: No waitresses in the kitchen.
Courtney: Hey, Mikey G. You got my order yet?
Michael: Yeah, right there.
Courtney: Takeoff Tacos, Plutonium Platter, and the Greek God salad, light on the feta. You're such a good boy.
(Courtney slaps Mikey G on the butt, then leaves)
Michael: She put in that order before I got busy.
Maria: Ok, give it up, Guerin. What's going on with her?
Michael: Yeah, that's exactly what I want to know.
Maria: Michael.
Michael: I don't trust her.
Maria: Hmm. Neither do I.
Michael: I mean, there's something going on with her. Another new face in town. Arrived this summer after the signal went out. Her picture was in Whitaker's office. Constantly hanging around me, always giving me these looks.
Maria: So, do you think she's an alien?
Michael: Or with the government. I don't know.
Maria: Well, I'll tell you what I know, Mikey G. The slut wants in your pants.
Michael: That might work. Oh, nice.
Maria: What might work, Michael?
(Future Max is in Liz's room looking at some pictures of her and Max)
Liz: That's private. Ok, I have some questions.
Future Max: I understand.
Liz: If you need Max to do something different, why don't you just go to Max directly?
Future Max: It's complicated...but if a person encounters himself in another time period, there could be a...a reaction.
Liz: A reaction...
Future Max: I don't entirely understand it myself, but Serina said...she's gonna be a friend of yours one day. It has something to do with quantum mechanics, but in essence, Max and I would both be destroyed if we actually came into contact.
Liz: Oh.
Future Max: Liz, what's about to happen over the next few days is critical to the history of this planet. Things between us are about to change...grow deeper. We become inseparable, and nothing comes between us ever again, until...
Liz: The...the end of the world?
Future Max: That's right.
Liz: What happened?
Future Max: The closer that you and I grew, the worse it got with Tess, and eventually she left Roswell.
Liz: Because of me?
Future Max: Because of me, and how I treated her. And it turned out Tess was critical to our survival. The four of us - Michael, Isabel, Tess, and I...we made a complete unit. We all had different gifts, and with one of us missing, we weren't as strong, and everything fell apart.
Liz: So, um...you want me to help you and Tess get together?
Future Max: Yes.
Liz: Why don't you just go to Tess?
Future Max: It's you I trust. It's you I have faith in, and because it's not just about getting me close to Tess. I need you to help me fall out of love with you.
(Max gives Courtney a ride back to her place on his motorbike)
Courtney: Thanks for the ride.
Michael: No problem.
Courtney: You handle your machine really good.
Michael: Thanks.
Courtney: Well, I guess it's time for another night curled up in my sheets, fondling my remote control.
Michael: I guess.
Courtney: Unless, of course, you want to be my remote control for the night?
Michael: I'd better go home.
Courtney: Too bad. Well...good night.
(Courtney kisses Michael)
Michael: What the hell.
(Michael decides to go in)
(Switch to Kyle's room in the Valenti household. Tess takes off a poster on the wall and starts using her power to wipe away part of the wall)
Kyle: I thought I told you I didn't want you doing that bewitched crap in the house.
Tess: Out of my room.
Kyle: It's my room!
Tess: You...you know what? Just...just forget it. I'm sick of this place, and I'm sick of Max Evans.
Kyle: Don't toy with me.
Tess: I never asked to be his mate. He thinks I'm just gonna wait around until he comes to terms with his destiny? Well, I'm not. He can figure it out on his own. They all can. You know, they didn't even know where the pod chamber was until I came along. I hate this life. I feel better.
Kyle: You look really great when you're pissed.
Tess: Yeah, right.
Kyle: No, I'm serious. I feel, like, all this energy coming from you right now. In order to trim the lamp of wisdom, we must attend to our bodily needs.
Tess: Let me tell you something, Buddha-boy...I got a lamp that needs some serious trimming.
(The doorbell rings. Kyle goes to answer it. It's Liz. She's wants to talk to Tess)
Liz: Hi.
Kyle: Well, you here for a reason, or you just rushed right over 'cause you sensed I might be experiencing some actual joy?
Liz: Oh, uh, actually, I need to talk to Tess.
Tess (to Kyle): We'll finish trimming my lamp later.
Kyle: Right. I'll keep my equipment on the ready.
Tess: Mmm. What's up?
Liz: I thought maybe we could talk.
Tess: About what?
Liz: Look, Tess...um, I know that we got off to a bad start...
Tess: Look, I'm not into bonding.
Liz: Well, neither am I, but... I want to help you with Max.
Tess: What?
Liz: I know Max, and I think I can help you with him.
Tess: How...how stupid do you think I am? I don't know what your plan is, but I know you don't want to help me. You hate me. You all do. Don't you think I know that?
Liz: Yeah, I'm not doing this for you. I'm doing this for Max. His future's you.
Tess: And you just came to this?
Liz: No, no. Look, I came to it that day in the desert when I walked away from him. Tess, I...I...I am sick of living like this, and I'm not gonna be free to move on unless I get Max to move on.
Tess: Look, I don't need your help. If Max doesn't come around on his own, he can...he can go to hell for all I care.
Liz: Tess...it was really hard for me to come here. You can imagine, and look...I know that it's hard for you to admit that you need help...but you do. It's up to you.
(Back to Courtney's place. Courtney is giving Michael a massage)
Michael: So, how long have you lived in Roswell, anyway?
Courtney: A few months.
Michael: What brought you here?
Courtney: I've always been into the whole alien thing, I guess, but I have to admit, the sightseeing has exceeded my expectations. What now?
Michael: Shower.
Courtney: Let's.
Michael: Just you.
Courtney: What?
Michael: I'm a germ-a-phobe. A clean girl is a sexy girl.
Courtney: Ok. Water sports. I like it. I'll play any game you want me to, Mikey G.
(Courtney steps into the bathroom to take a shower. Michael starts snooping around. He opens a cabinet and finds it completely filled with skin lotion. Suddenly, he hears a noise from the window. It's Maria)
Michael: What the hell are you doing here?
Maria: Investigating Courtney. What are you doing here, hound?
Michael: No, I'm investigating Courtney. Get out of here.
Maria: No, no, no. I found a picture of you, Max, and Isabel in her locker, and your face was circled.
Michael: No way.
Courtney (from bathroom): Maybe you should put on some tunes, baby.
Maria: b*st*rd.
Michael: I had to get her out of the room somehow.
Michael (to Courtney): Good idea, baby.
Maria: I...I'm gonna retch.
Michael: Ok, I've got the situation under control, so get out of here...seriously.
Maria: If you lay one hand on her...
Michael: No one is laying anything on anyone.
Courtney (from bathroom): By the way, you are an amazing kisser.
(Maria thwaps Michael on the head)
Maria: You obviously came here for 2 reasons, huh?
(Courtney comes out of the bathroom dressed in a towel)
Courtney: Is somebody here?
(Maria hands Courtney a hair piece)
Maria (to Courtney): Um...here. You left that at work.
Maria (to Michael): And umm...remember how I said we had 48 hours? That was...that was way too optimistic. We're done.
(Maria leaves)
Michael (to Courtney): I'm gonna go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
(Switch to Future Max and Liz who are staking out Tess from Whitaker's office. Max is supposed to meet her shortly. Liz is giving Tess instructions on what to say and how to act)
Future Max: Good, you got her to wear that top.
Liz: Yeah, so you like that top?
Future Max: Well, we have to...play every card we have.
(Max arrives promptly and sits down at Tess' table)
Future Max: Here he comes.
Liz: Just don't look at him. Let him come to you. Show him the book. Make sure he sees it.
Tess: Really? Steinbeck's my favorite author, too.
Future Max: He sat down. You got him to sit down with her.
Liz: Rah-rah. What?
Future Max: Nothing. It's just...seeing you at 17 again is making it all come flooding back to me. How my stomach used to rumble every time I saw you.
Liz: So, um...did we get married?
Future Max: Liz, you know I can't...
Liz: You...I know, you can't talk about it. I'm sorry. I know.
Future Max: We eloped. We were 19.
Liz: We were 19? Wow, that is so young. That is too young.
Future Max: That's what I said, but you said that Romeo and Juliet were even younger than us, so we drove to Vegas. Got married at the Elvis chapel. Congratulations, kids.
Liz: So we didn't have a real wedding.
Future Max: Oh, we had a great wedding. You called Maria, Michael, Isabel, and Alex, and had them meet us halfway. We spent the whole night singing and dancing in some dive outside Phoenix, and at the end of the night, "I Shall Believe" came on the radio.
Liz: I love that song.
Future Max: I know. Everyone else was exhausted, but not us. Oh, we danced...just the two of us. And ever since then, it's been our song.
Liz: If this works...I'm not gonna have that day.
Future Max: No, you won't.
Liz: Then what happens to you if we succeed? I...I mean you. The future version of you?
Future Max: If we succeed in changing history, a different version of the future will take place. All the events that led to who I am 14 years from now will be different. The man I am now will cease to exist.
(Switch to Max and Tess' conversation)
Max: Listen, I...I realize none of this is your fault. You just sought me out because it was your destiny.
Tess: Hey, I...I can only imagine if you thought you'd found the love of your life and someone comes to tell you that you're meant to be with someone else.
Max: Exactly.
Tess: You know, if things change, they change. If they don't, it's ok, Max.
Max: I don't think things will change.
Tess: I know, but it takes two, and if Liz isn't interested...
Max: What do you mean, "if Liz isn't interested?"
Tess: No, I...I didn't mean...
Max: You were talking to Liz about this?
Tess: N-Not exactly.
(Max looks around and sees someone peeking from Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Future Max: Damn.
(Max walks over to Congresswoman Whitaker's office)
Liz: Get outta here.
(Future Max makes a quick exit into Congresswoman Whitaker's room)
Liz: Max.
Max: Were you watching?
Liz: Um...
Max: So, it was all a setup.
Liz: Yeah.
Max: You tried to get Tess and me together?
Liz: Look, I know that you must hate me right now. I, um...
(Max grabs Liz and gives her a long, passionate kiss. There are image flashbacks)
Max: I felt that...and I know you did, too, and I know you think that...that I need to let you go...for the sake of Michael, and Isabel, and my race...so you went to Tess. But she can't be you. Tess can never be you.
Liz: Max, we have to stop this. We have to. I am telling you that we have to.
Max: Go out with me on Friday. There's a Gomez concert in Santa Fe. I have tickets.
Liz: No. No, Max. I can't go out with you ever again. Please stop doing this.
Max: I can't.
(In Liz's room, Future Max and Liz discuss what happened with Max)
Future Max: You're supposed to be breaking up with him, not kissing him.
Liz: You...you kissed me. I mean...you know, he kissed me.
Future Max: You're only making me love you more.
Liz: I just said no to Gomez.
Future Max: You said no the last time, too. I didn't take no for an answer.
Liz: So we went to the concert.
Future Max: No. The night of Gomez I came to your room. That's the night that things between us were cemented.
Liz: Cemented. So when you say cemented, you...
Future Max: We made love.
Liz: No, no, we...we didn't.
Future Max: Liz...
Liz: No, I have no intention of making love to you or...or anyone else at this particular stage of my life.
Future Max: I beg to differ.
Liz: No. Making love to you is the farthest thing from my mind. I...I don't even have protection.
Future Max: I did.
Liz: Oh, that's great. There you are, Max the Saint, just walking around with a condom in his back pocket. I...I...I don't even care what happened in your reality. I am not making love to you or anyone until I am ready, and I am just not ready.
Future Max: Liz, I am telling you what happened, and we have to change that. We have to. And so far, we've failed. Liz, it's not just Max that's the problem here. You are. You are not letting yourself change. Now you have to do something...before it's too late.
(Alex is looking for Maria at the Crashdown and finds her in the back, ripping apart photos of Michael)
Alex: Maria.
Maria: Can you just wait outside for a second?
Alex: Sure.
(Maria is sobbing)
Alex: Maria, what's wrong?
Maria: Could you just get out of here?
Alex: What happened?
Maria: I found this picture of Michael in Courtney's locker...like some sort of surveillance photo or something.
Alex: Oh, my God. Is he all right?
Maria: Yeah, he's all right. Actually, he's terrific. I was worried about him, so I went all the way across town to save his ass, and I get there, and...he's already there, and so is Courtney...in a towel.
Alex: Maria.
(Switch to Max's room at home. He is doing some pull-ups. There is a knock on his window. It's Liz)
Max: Well, this is a surprise.
Liz: It isn't what you think. No, I can do it.
(Liz climbs in)
Liz: Can you...um, put a shirt on, please?
(Max puts a shirt on)
Liz: Thank you.
Max: Liz...
Liz: Don't say anything, ok? Um, because I...I came in here with this whole speech, and once you start talking, my speech doesn't apply, and everything gets changed, and I just want to make sure that I say everything to you, so just don't say anything. Just don't say anything. Ok, I...I just re-read "Romeo and Juliet", and you know, the first thing that I realized is that isn't even the title. It's called "The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet". They die. You know, she's this young girl, she...she's younger than me, and she dies. Look, I think the reason why people think that it's such a romantic play is they don't know what it's like to be put in that position...but when your life and...and other people's lives are...are put at risk, there isn't anything romantic about it. Max, you can't stop what's happening to you. I mean, your life will always be dangerous, but my life, it doesn't have to be. My life is only in danger if I am with you. I...I want to be in love with boys...normal boys. I...I want to see my 21st birthday. I...I want to have a wedding day. I...I...I want to have children...and I want my children to be safe. You know, Max, if...if you truly love me, you'll let me go. I may love you, but I...I don't want to die for you.
(Max immediately goes to Maria for advice)
Maria: You just want me to tell you that it's all gonna work out, right?
Max: No. I want to hear what you have to say.
Maria: Ok. Here's what I think...give Liz up. Leave her alone. All this is leading nowhere. None of us belong with any of you. And I'm really sick of how much it's screwing us up. I mean, look at us. We're pathetic.
(Back outside Liz's room, Liz is sobbing. Future Max reaches his hand for a tissue and it goes through the box)
Liz: What...what's happening?
Future Max: This must be it. What you did must have worked. I'm leaving.
Liz: What, so you're just...you're going back to where you came from?
Future Max: No. There's nowhere to go back to.
(Switch back to Max and Maria at the Crashdown. Max is in a daze)
Maria: You're not there, are you?
Max: I can't help it. I love her. What can I say?
Maria: You're hopeless.
(Future Max is silent for a moment, then attempts to grab the box again. This time, his hand doesn't go through it)
Future Max: It didn't work. We have to do something else.
Liz: No, I...I can't.
Future Max: You have to.
Liz: Do you know how hard it was for me to tell him that I didn't want to die for him? He's the only reason that I'm alive right now. You...you've...you gotta come up with another plan. Please go to someone else. I...I just...I can't do this anymore.
Future Max: Just 25 minutes before I came here, I held Michael in my arms...dead. Isabel died 2 weeks before that. Now you have to do this. You have to find a way. All of our lives depend on it.
Liz: How? What can I do that's gonna make you turn away from me?
Future Max: I don't know.
(Later, at the Crashdown, Maria spies Liz glumly gazing from the back room into the main Crashdown area)
Maria: What's wrong?
Liz: Uh...nothing.
Maria: You look upset, Liz.
Liz: I...I just can't talk about it. Oh, I heard about Michael and Courtney.
Maria: What gets me is that...that Madame Vivian bitch was right. Granted, Michael is the world's worst boyfriend. I know that. You know that. America knows that. But when I caught them together...that look of guilt on his face...I've never felt so awful, Liz.
Liz: Oh, my God.
Maria: I know. I mean, I guess it's a good thing, you know? 'Cause...when I saw that, I realized there was nothing he could do to make up for it. I know it's over.
(Liz listens to Maria's words and she realizes she may have found a way to get Max to stop loving her. She goes to Kyle for help)
Liz: I need your help.
(Kyle and Liz are in Liz's room. Kyle is undressing in Liz's room, while Liz is undressing in her bathroom. Liz is trying to set things up so that Max will come by and see her and Kyle together in bed)
Kyle: So...we haven't really, uh...talked much lately.
Liz: Yeah! How's it going?
Kyle: Not bad. I found Buddha.
(Future Max is with Liz in the bathroom)
Future Max: I don't think this is a good plan.
Liz (to Future Max): What are you talking about?
Future Max: You really think this is gonna work? I would never be jealous of Kyle.
Liz (to Future Max): Can you turn around?
(Liz starts to undress)
Liz (to Kyle): So that's like meditation, right? Incense, that sort of thing?
Kyle: It's really about approaching life through a spiritual place and becoming in tune with different planes of existence.
Future Max: What a line of crap.
Kyle: Am I taking my boxers off?
Liz (to Kyle): No. Undergarments stay on.
Kyle: Right.
Future Max: If he tries anything...
Liz (to Future Max): I've got it under control. Please stay out of earshot.
(Liz comes out of her bathroom dressed in a towel)
Kyle: This brings back memories.
Liz: Kyle, we were never in bed together.
Kyle: What? No. I'm talking about the towel. The "Y" pool, summer before last?
Liz: Yeah.
Kyle: Liz...I, uh...I want you to know that, uh...uh...I meditated on this entire situation, and I'm, uh...I'm at peace with it.
Liz: Oh. Uh...that...that's great.
Kyle: So shall we hop in?
Liz: Yeah. Um, Kyle, look...I just wanna make sure that I...I...I made it actually clear that we're not gonna...
Kyle: Consummate. I understand.
Liz: Right. And when we kiss...
Kyle: No tongue. I'm on board.
Liz: Yeah. Ok.
Kyle: I'm here to help. My body's merely a vessel.
Liz: Ok.
(Alex stops by at Michael's apartment)
Michael: What's up?
Alex: Nothing. Nothing at all.
Michael: Well, I was kinda watching the game, so if you got something on your mind...
(Alex grabs the remote and turns off the TV)
Alex: Do you have any idea what you've done to Maria?
Michael: Dude, it was a misunderstanding.
Alex: Look. I don't care that you've got 30 pounds on me or...or that you can kill me with some...some twisted alien power. I will not let you treat her like that. I...I don't care that Isabel treats me like crap, but no one does that to Maria, all right? She's not just some girl!
Michael: You gotta believe me...I have nothing...
(Courtney happens to stop by at that moment)
Courtney: Knock knock.
(Alex turns around and nails Michael in the face. Alex immediately starts wincing)
Alex: Ow!
Michael: You realize you just risked your life?
Alex: Yeah.
Michael: You're a really good friend, man.
Alex: Call me that again, and I'll really kick your ass.
(Alex leaves)
Courtney: Are you ok?
Michael: Yeah. I'm fine.
(Michael and Courtney start making out again. Michael reaches around to her back and peels off a piece of skin)
Michael: You're a skin? Stop!
(Michael fires his alien power at Courtney, who makes a quick escape out the window)
(Back to Liz's room, where Liz and Kyle are lying next to each other in her bed)
Kyle: So Evans must have really pissed you off to get you to resort to something like this.
Liz: I told you I don't really want to talk about why I'm doing this.
Kyle: Jeez, I just figured since I'm giving you my last shred of dignity...
Liz: I...I really. I can't.
Kyle: So...we have something in common.
Liz: Yeah? What's that?
Kyle: We, uh...we're the only two people I know of who have died and were brought back by an alien.
Liz: Yeah. You're right.
Kyle: You feel different?
Liz: Yeah. Kyle...when he healed you, um...did...did you see things?
Kyle: See things?
Liz: Flashes. Images.
Kyle: No. But since he healed me, I keep getting these flashes of Max Evans naked.
(Liz laughs)
Kyle: Feels good to make you laugh again.
Liz: It feels like this is the first time we've talked...since...
Kyle: Feels good to do that again.
Liz: Yeah. It does feel good.
(Max shows up with the Gomez tickets in hand, just like Future Max had predicted. He sees Liz and Kyle in bed together and is stunned. He drops the tickets and leaves)
Kyle: Well, I guess it worked.
(Switch to Max who is glumly sitting by himself on a bench. Tess walks by and asks how he is doing)
Tess: Are you ok?
Max: No.
Tess: Can I sit down?
Max: Sure.
(Switch to Liz and Future Max outside Liz's room)
Future Max: I've fought a thousand battles...but watching you do that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Liz: The look on his face...on your face.
Future Max: Maybe it's for the best. For you, too.
Liz: What are you talking about?
Future Max: I saw you with Kyle. He's turning out to be a...a great guy. Maybe it would be better for you to be with a human.
Liz: Don't you realize what you are to me...and you're always gonna be? You're the love of my life. Everyone else is gonna be second best. There'll never be another you.
(Switch back to Tess and Max sitting on the bench)
Tess: Do you wanna talk about it?
Max: No.
Tess: Do you want me to leave?
Max: No.
(Switch back to Future Max and Liz)
Liz: So Max and...Tess are going to be together now.
Future Max: I don't know. I don't know anything now. This is a different world.
Liz: I'm gonna be alone.
Future Max: Maybe. Maybe not. From now on, the future is to be determined. It's what've always said to you, Liz. We create our own destiny.
Liz: Could you dance with me?
Future Max: What?
Liz: I wanna have my wedding dance.
("I Shall Believe" starts playing. Liz dances with Future Max. Future Max twirls Liz and she spins around by herself. When she stops spinning, she realizes that Future Max has disappeared. The episode ends with her looking upward at the night sky and seeing a shooting star)
|
Plan: A: 2014; Q: What year does Max travel from? A: Liz; Q: Who tricks Max into believing she slept with Kyle? A: their relationship; Q: What will imperil Max's planet? A: his planet; Q: What does Max tell Liz will be imperiled by their relationship? A: the future; Q: What do Max and Liz try to change? A: love; Q: What emotion does Liz trick Max into feeling? Summary: An older Max travels from 2014 to tell Liz that their relationship will imperil his planet and together they devise a plan to change the future: by making present Max fall out of love with Liz. Not an easy task until Liz tricks Max into believing she slept with Kyle.
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Fred: "Previously on Angel:"
Woman: "Fred disappeared five years ago. They never found her."
Wes: "Cordy has been sucked into the portal. She is in the Host's dimension."
Fred: "They use you as a slave."
Fred: "Handsome man. Saved me from the monsters."
Cordy: "So - we know each other?"
Angel: "Yeah. Really well."
Fred: "Not to sound all movie of the week, but I think you might have some kind of amnesia."
Angel: "I think there is a way we might be able to sort this out. Pick a song."
Fred: "So Lorne can read you."
Gunn: "You sing. He sees your future."
Cordy sings: "Because the greatest love of all..."
Lorne: "Great! Enough!"
Angel: "What did you see?"
Lorne: "Go away!"
Angel: "If it's that bad, I need to know!"
Lorne: "It's that bad. Evil's coming, Angel, and - it's planning on staying."
Lilah on phone: "You're sure that it's her? Put an extraction team together."
Wes: "Wolfram and Hart are planning to extract Cordelia, and I doubt your boy will be able to stop them." Angel and Co stop W&H commando team from taking Cordy.
Angel: "We should probably get you back home."
Cordy: "Actually - I'd like to stay here - with Connor."
Fred: "Oh my god!"
Angel: "Lorne?"
Fred: "Is he alive?"
Angel: "Who did this?"
Lorne: "W.. - W.."
Angel: "Wolfram and Hart?"
Gunn: "But why?"
Angel: "They must have known Lorne read her. They weren't after Cordy. They were after what Lorne saw when she sang."
Wes: "You played me."
Lilah: "Free will. Look it up."
Wes: "Lilah."
Lilah: "You're the one who decided to take what you overheard and give it to the good'n'plenty's."
Angel: "How much did they get?"
Lorne: "All of it." LA, night. A woman's screams ring through the dark halls of the Hyperion hotel. Fred whoops again and throws herself into Gunn's arms in their hotel room.
Gunn: "Ah! That's my girl! (Gunn puts her down) Alright. Hand this thing over. Let me check it out." Fred hands him a magazine.
Fred: "Page nineteen. It's not a big article. Not like it's featured or anything."
Gunn: "Got it. "Supersymmetry..."
Fred: "...and P-dimensional subspace" by Winifred Burkle. - You don't have to read it."
Gunn: "Of course I'm gonna read it. Right now." Gunn sits down on the bed. Fred sits down next to him.
Gunn: "In multi-dimensional superstring theory - uh - distance scales inverted by T-duality apply to heter..." Fred starts to climb into Gunn's lap and kiss him.
Gunn: "...heterotic theories. The pictures are..." They drop back onto the bed and Gunn tosses the magazine aside.
Gunn: "Nice." They start to roll around on the bed, kissing.
Lorne: "Ah, give it to me, sweetness. Right there." Lorne is reclining in bed, band-aid covering the hole in his head. Angel sets a food tray down on the bed.
Angel: "Here you go. How's your head?"
Lorne: "Smashing. Listen. I know I've been a wee bit jumpy the last couple of days, but - did I hear a scream?"
Angel: "Oh, it's just Fred. I think it's a Texas thing." Lorne eats a little of the soup, then sets the tray aside.
Lorne: "Well, it's all too much Sturm and Drang for my appetite. Cordelia shacking up with your hell-spawn - no offence - and the hole between my horns."
Angel: "And you're probably a little on edge because of the whole 'slouching towards Bethlehem' thing."
Lorne: "No."
Angel: "No? That's good, because..."
Lorne: "Sorry. I jumped ahead. That 'no' was the one that comes after you asking me to read Cordy again."
Angel: "I wasn't - going to ask you that immediately. I was gonna build up to it subtly."
Lorne: "I appreciate that, sugar pie, really, but - the answer is no. I'm not a champion. I'm just a regular, old Karaoke-singing empath demon."
Angel: "You saw something. If we knew what it was..."
Lorne: "Wolfram and Hart would come after me again. And maybe they wouldn't stop with a little gray matter."
Angel, turns away: "I'm listening."
Lorne: "Hey, death just doesn't look good on me. I wish I could tell you what was coming and when, but..." Angel is standing by the open door to the hall.
Lorne: "When you say 'listening' you don't mean to me. You heard something, didn't you?"
Angel: "It's probably just Fred." Lorne fumbles a small ax out from under the blanket covering him. Angel walks out into the hall.
Lorne echoing after him: "I got your back." Angel hears sounds of someone moving around and tracks them down to the room they put Cordy's things into. He slowly opens the door and sees someone rummaging through a box of Cordy's things. Angel lunges and throws the person up against the wall. It's Connor.
Angel: "Oh. Hi. (Lets go of Connor) Sorry."
Connor pulls his shirt straight: "I'm used to it." Connor picks up one of the boxes and sets it on a table.
Angel: "The front door is always open, Connor. You don't have to sneak in." Connor putting things into the box: "Cordy wanted some of her stuff."
Angel: "How - is she doing? Cordy. Anything coming back to her?"
Connor: "Nothing about you."
Angel: "Is she alone right now? Because..."
Connor: "She's safe! I can take care of Cordelia. - Can I go?"
Angel: "Sure. Sorry." Connor moves past Angel, carrying the box.
Angel: "Wait! You should take her fuzzy slippers. (Puts them into Connor's box.) Her feet get cold."
Connor: "I know. She always stealing the covers." Intro Hyperion, day. Angel slowly walks down the steps into the lobby, hands stuck in his pockets. Passes Gunn's feet protruding from the settee.
Gunn: "You don't wanna go in there." Angel looks over towards the window into the office and sees Fred talking animatedly to Lorne.
Gunn: "The girl kept me up all night. She is un-stoppable."
Angel: "More than I need to know." Fred spots Angel and comes rushing out of the office.
Fred: "Did Charles tell you?"
Angel: "He-he didn't describe it."
Fred: "I've been asked to present my article at the physics institute! P-dimensional subspace has always been a fascinating area, but I had no idea there would be so much interest. Can I practice my speech for you? I think Lorne's a little conked." Fred hurries back into the office. Lorne takes another sip of his drink: "Oh, yeah. We're back."
Gunn to Angel: "That - all night. (A small smile spreads over Gunn's face) Well, mostly that."
Angel: "I didn't know Fred was getting back into physics."
Gunn: "Yeah. I don't think she wanted anyone to know. Think she was afraid she lost the knack."
Angel: "Hmm. She seems over that." They follow Fred into the office. Angel takes a seat next to Lorne, while Gunn leans against the wall behind them.
Fred: "It's nothing big, really. Just a little breakthrough in quantum particles. Emphasis on little. Probably be disproven in no time. It's just - I used to dream I'd discover some revolutionary concept, and - oh, it's silly."
Angel: "Doesn't sound silly."
Fred: "I-I guess I just wanted all those people I looked up to - I wanted them to see me, too. And then I got sucked into Pylea, and, well, when you're a cow-slave you don't want anyone to see you at all."
Gunn: "Everybody will be watching you now." Fred stares at Gunn, eyes wide. She sucks in a deep breath and looks down at her cue cards.
Fred: "I've got to practice. - You-you'll be there?"
Gunn: "Cheering you on. Right?" Lorne makes a face. Angel is looking at the desk in front of him (lost in thought?) Gunn looks at both of their backs, while Fred looks from Angel to Lorne, shifting on her feet.
Lorne: "Ah, the little nipper dropped in for a midnight visit last night."
Fred: "Connor was here?"
Gunn: "I hope you don't wanna kiss and make up, because that..."
Angel: "He picked up some of Cordelia's things." Fred sits down on the edge of the desk.
Fred: "She's just trying to put the pieces back together. It'll work out and it'll all be for the best." Angel looks at her.
Fred: "It will! Five years of unendurable torture and mental anguish aside, if I hadn't been sucked through that portal I never would have figured out my string compactification theory."
Gunn: "Exactly. 'cause, you know, strings need - to compactify." Angel and Lorne look from Gunn to Fred, who is pressing her lips together (in an effort to keep a straight face?) Wes is sitting in front of his sofa table reading a magazine when there is a knock on his door. The knock comes again before he pulls his eyes away from the article. He checks his watch as he gets up to answer the door. Lilah is standing there holding a box tied with a bow.
Lilah: "Surprise."
Wes: "A bribe. How thoughtful." Lilah hands him the box and walks past him, taking off her jacket.
Wes: "No, it can't be a bribe. Must be a setup."
Lilah, smiling at him: "Can't it just be - a gift?" Wes just looks at her.
Lilah: "Open it." Wes sets it down on the table and opens it, while Lilah watches him closely, still smiling. Wes pulls out the full helmet of a medieval armor.
Lilah: "We seem to be butting heads lately. Now you'll have the advantage." Wes examines the helmet.
Wes: "This must have cost a fortune." Lilah's smile widens and she steps closer to Wes.
Lilah: "Yes." The takes the helmet out of Wes' hands, puts it back in the box, then runs her hands up Wes' chest.
Lilah: "It'll take you - hours - to thank me properly." Lilah kisses him softly. Wes kisses back.
Lilah: "Fortunately I've taken the afternoon off." Lilah reaches for the buttons of his shirt, but Wes captures her hands and holds them still.
Wes: "I have to leave actually." Lilah stares at him as he moves away from her and grabs his jacket off a hook by the door. On the way out Wes turns back to her.
Wes: "But thank you, Lilah, for the gift." Lilah watches him leave, then lets out a sigh, shaking her head slightly. Picks up the paper that covered the helmet and sees the magazine - open on 'Super Symmetry and P-Dimensional Subspace' by Winifred Burkle. The camera pans past a picture of Fred and Gunn dressed up for the ballet pinned up on a wall. Over a picture of Cordy and Wes with a little paper labeled 'me & Wes' to a picture of a couple labeled 'my parents.' To Cordy in the process of pinning up a picture of her and Lorne smiling into the camera. Cordy surveys her handiwork.
Cordy: "There. Almost done." She walks over to the bed and looks through the box Connor brought over from the Hyperion.
Cordy: "Connor?"
Connor: "Yeah?"
Cordy: "How come there is no picture of Angel?" Connor walks into the room, hair wet, and in the process of pulling on a shirt.
Connor: "Ah - I didn't see any."
Cordy: "Hmm. Well, it's okay. You got all the other important stuff." She smiles as she lifts up one foot to show she is wearing her fuzzy slippers. She pulls a piece of sheer fabric out of the box and uses it to cover a round table in the room.
Cordy: "Apparently I'm a nester, because this place is starting to look not entirely un-home-y." Connor watches her, then pulls on, and laces his shoes. Cordy looks around and lets out a sigh.
Connor: "What?"
Cordy: "Nothing. (Shrugs) Except... (Sits down on the bed) Well, I thought I'd feel different. I mean, I have my pictures and slippers and super luscious peau the soie blouse, but... (sighs) Why does it still feel like something is missing?" Connor looks around, sees a hand ax lying on a dresser. He picks it up and hands it to Cordy.
Connor: "How does that feel?"
Cordy: "Uh - woodsy."
Connor shrugs: "Maybe you miss the action, the thrill of the kill. You know you used to be a demon hunter. (Cordy gives him a look) It's true. You're just out of practice. It'll come back fast, though. I can train you." Connor moves away.
Cordy calling after him: "What should I wear?!" LA, night. Gunn straightens Fred's cue cards and hands them back to her as they both ride up an escalator at the institute.
Fred: "Thank you." They get off the escalator and move through a crowd of academics.
Fred: "At least I remembered the uniform."
Gunn: "All these people here to see you?"
Fred: "I'm just a minor speaker. Oh, god!" Fred walks over to the list of speakers.
Fred: "I'm between Ed Witten and Brian Greene?" Fred stares back at Gunn and Angel, who just look at each other, then back at her.
Fred: "Think Nomar Garciaparra and Sammy Sosa." Gunn whistles.
Angel: "Fred's skipped the minors and went straight to the show."
Fred: "This can't be right. Somebody must have made a mistake!"
Gunn: "Listen up - all this stuff about particles and - stuff - it's gonna blow them away. Nothing to worry about."
Fred: "Well - what if my theory is wrong? (Spots someone) Professor Seidel?"
Seidel: "Winifred! (Turns to a blonde) Laurie, I'll meet you back at the lab. (Laurie leaves) There you are. It's been, what? Two years, or so."
Fred, smiling: "Yeah. Heavy on the 'or so.' Wow. It is great to see you. (Her smile fades) Are you - gonna be in there?"
Seidel: "I'm introducing you. I had to arm wrestle the chair of the department for the honor."
Fred: "Oh."
Seidel: "Winifred, you have done some great work. You don't have anything to worry about." Gunn clears his throat loudly.
Fred: "Oh, ah, these are my friends: Charles and Angel." Gunn and the professor shake hands.
Gunn: "Hey." Angel and the professor shake.
Angel: "Hello."
Fred: "I was gonna be a history major, and then I took Professor Seidel's physics class, and, well..."
Seidel: "Winifred is a natural. By the end of the first semester she was taking on w.i.m.p.s."
Gunn: "You should see her now! Killer left hook."
Fred: "Wimps are weakly interactive massive particles."
Gunn: "Oh, yeah, ah, just kidding."
Seidel: "Do you remember that Higgs Scalars tutorial? I still remember your take on spontaneous symmetry breaking."
Angel to Gunn: "You know, it's, ah, filling up. I'm gonna go find and save some seats."
Seidel to Fred: "Why don't you stop by the office. I'd love to talk about your article."
Fred: "Is - tomorrow too soon?"
Seidel: "Tomorrow is perfect. I have some questions about how Kaluza-Klein models fit with your theory." Gunn watches as the professor move away from him deep in conversation.
Fred: "Oh, okay, because string regularization kind of vital to what I'm proposing..." Angel puts his jacket over the back of one of the seats in the front row of the far from completely filled auditorium. A guy wearing a comic book T-shirt bumps into his arm with the backpack he is carrying as he makes for a seat in the row behind Angel.
Guy: "Oh, sorry about that." Angel glances around the room as he sits down and spots Wes taking a seat in the back. The Professor and Fred come down an aisle, trailed by Gunn. Seidel stops by a guy in a suit.
Seidel: "Oh, Doctor Shepherd, I want you to meet one of my best students, Winifred Burkle."
Fred: "Hi." Gunn looks at the group for a moment then moves down the rows to where Angel is sitting.
Shepherd: "Oh course. I read your article. Intriguing. Nice to meet you." Seidel ushers Fred on down the aisle. Gunn hands Angel his jacket as he sits down in the chair was reserving with it.
Gunn: "Listen, man, I'm gonna need simultaneous translating on this thing. You know, like the president with the Russians, but just give me the highlights."
Angel: "No problem. Of course, I have no idea what she's talking about."
Gunn: "Will you tell Fred that? If she thinks we're both stupid, I won't stand out as much." The lights dim as the professor walks up to the podium, trailed by Fred.
Seidel: "There have been many recent insights into string theory, but few have so elegantly tied together the disparate threads as the one you will hear tonight. As a student Winifred Burkle showed outstanding intellectual rigor." We get a shot of Gunn smiling as he watches the stage. Then of Wes with a soft smile on his face a well.
Seidel: "Her work continues to exemplify the highest standard of academic excellence." Lilah walks into the back lecture hall. Angel turns his head and sees her looking around.
Seidel: "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to introduce Winifred Burkle." Polite applause as Fred steps up to the podium.
Fred: "Thank you professor." Fred puts on her glasses, clears her throat and looks at her cue cards.
Fred: "This one just says 'open with joke.' But - I forgot to think of one. But it's possible that my theory will take care of that." Polite chuckles.
Fred: "There are, uhm, there are several competing dimensional theories, and while each provides insights, physicists have long searched for a unifying theory." Lilah spots Wes, his eyes riveted on the stage.
Fred: "One that can account for both the behavior of the smallest subatomic particles, and the largest forces of nature. If space time can undergo massive rearrangement of its structure, which I believe it can, tearing and reconnecting according to a predetermined disposition..." Angel watches as Lilah pulls out her cell phone and makes a call as she leaves the lecture hall.
Fred: "...then T-duality would allow for the compactification of extra space dimensions. Consider the non-perturbative properties of superstring theory. In D-Branes, especially as it applies to Dirichlet boundry conditions with dual open strings that are t-transformed, this..." People begin to notice a disturbance forming in the above Fred.
Fred: "...in turn leads to the conclusion that strings can only end in P-dimensional dynamical..." Fred notices the commotion spreading through the hall and looks to see what everyone is looking at. A bundle of long, snake-like tentacles, each ending in a tooth-filled beak suddenly reaches out of the hole in the air and take a hold of Fred, while Seidel quickly ducks away. Gunn and Angel jump out of their seats and head for the stage as Wes also gets up from his seat at the back of the hall.
Gunn: "Fred! No!" Break Fred is screaming as the tentacles wrapped around her try to pull her up into the hole. Gunn is holding on to Fred's legs. Angel is stabbing at the monster with the microphone stand.
Gunn: "Hang on baby. I got you!" Wes moves through the fleeing masses towards the stage. The guy in the comic book shirt that was sitting behind Angel and Gunn is snapping pictures of the monster with a small camera, a big smile on his face.
Gunn: "Hang on!" One tentacle wraps around Angel's neck and lifts him off the floor. The teen is still snapping pictures.
Angel: "Yeah. Vampire, strangling. Not gonna happen." Angel reaches down into his boot and pulls out a knife. He cuts through the tentacle that holds him. As he drops free, the monster lets out a scream and draws back, letting go of Fred. Fred and Gunn fall to the floor, Gunn holding her tightly. Wes, dagger in hand, stops as the hole closes behind the monster.
Gunn: "It's over, baby. You're fine." Lilah drives down through the parking garage in a silver Mercedes convertible. Suddenly the top is ripped away. Lilah stops and hesitantly sticks her head out through the hole.
Angel: "That's cool. The top just comes right off." Lilah drops back down into her seat, then gets out of the car.
Lilah: "Hey, if this is about the jolly green demon, I could have had him killed, but do I hear a thank you?"
Angel: "Before we get to that, how about you tell me why a portal happened to open up over Fred's head right after you slithered out of the auditorium?"
Lilah smiling a little: "Tragedy struck Gidget? Really? Did she go to that place in the big Texas sky?"
Angel: "Gunn and I took care of it. Of course if we hadn't been there, I'm sure your good friend Wesley would have stepped right in."
Lilah: "Come on. If I were gonna kill the twig, would I do it in a room full of people and then make a conspicuous getaway so I looked extra suspicious?"
Angel: "Add video tape, sounds like vintage Wolfram and Hart. (Lilah just shrugs) Except this time somebody else deserves the credit."
Lilah: "You're quick." Lilah ducks back into her car. Angel just as quickly sticks his head in before she can close the door.
Angel: "About Lorne, there's going to be a conversation."
Lilah: "You know, Angel, coming from you, idle threats are so - well - idle." Angel sticks one hand down through the hole in the car's roof and wiggles his fingers in front of Lilah's face.
Angel: "Do you remember when I ripped your car in half?"
Lilah starting the car: "Yeah. Hulk smash." Lilah peels out of there, tires screeching. Angel lets her go. Hyperion, night. Gunn rolls over in bed and wakes up when the spot beside him is empty.
Gunn sits up: "Fred?" Fred is squatting in a corner, writing on the wall, and muttering to herself.
Fred: "P versus NP, where NP is nondeterministic polynominal time. This is NP. Lost time. Time spent."
Gunn comes up behind her: "I never liked the paint in here. Hey, lets - lets redo the place, really make it ours." Fred turns away from the wall holding her throat with one hand.
Fred: "I was just - I couldn't sleep." Gunn takes a hold of her hand and softly pulls it away from her throat.
Gunn: "Fred, demons, portals - that happens. Doesn't mean that you're going back to Pylea."
Fred: "Every time I close my eyes I see it. Like it's happening all over again."
Gunn: "I know, baby." Fred walks past him her hand going back up to her neck.
Fred: "Five years of hiding in caves and scrounging for food, wearing that collar. You don't know! You couldn't."
Gunn: "You're never going back to that place. You're safe now."
Fred: "I was safe in the library until I opened that book and read those words, and then wham! I was hurling through dimensions."
Gunn: "Come back to bed. Alright? It'll all look different in the morning."
Fred: "Morning? As in tomorrow, which as of now is today, which means..." Gunn slowly back towards the bed softly pulling Fred along with him.
Gunn: "You're gonna talk to your professor friend just like you planned 'cause nothing has changed."
Fred: "It has! He was there! He saw the... - He probably thinks..."
Gunn: "That you're incredibly brilliant. Just like I do." Fred climbs back onto the bed: "He can't see me. Not like this."
Gunn climbs in beside her: "There is nothing wrong with you. Like this or any other way."
Fred: "Yeah, to you, maybe."
Gunn: "Look. Go. Okay? Forget about all this and talk about strings and whimps and whatever. Angel and I will take care of all the demony portal stuff. No problem." Gunn kisses her bare shoulder then snuggles up to hold her. Hyperion day, Gunn comes down the stairs to find Angel standing in front of row after row of chairs set up in the hotel lobby.
Gunn: "Great. My girl is not the only one redecorating."
Angel points at a chair: "You were there."
Gunn sits down: "Okay. - What are we doing? Playing musical chairs?" Angel looks past Gunn and suddenly the lobby with its chairs morphs into the lecture hall and the people sitting around and behind Gunn. Dimly we can hear Fred lecture from the podium on the stage.
Angel pointing: "Nerdy guy. - Older nerdy guy. - Girl in black there." All the people except for the ones Angel just named wink out of their seats.
Gunn: "Okay. Catching on - sorta. How come you never pulled out this parlor trick before?"
Angel: "It's not an automatic reflex. It just kicked in when I saw Lilah." We see Lilah making her phone call.
Gunn: "Hold up. Lilah was there? Not a huge leap thinking she opened the portal." Angel is concentrating on Lilah. Sees her looking over at Wes.
Angel: "She was just stalking Wesley."
Gunn: "Wesley? He came to see..." Angel looks to where the nerdy, comic book shirt, guy is sitting.
Angel: "He was waiting."
Gunn: "Wesley?"
Angel: "Guy in the second row, center seat. The guy wearing a tan T-shirt that said 'Thwack!'" Angel turns towards the stage behind him where the tentacles reach out of the portal, then back to the teen.
Angel: "He had a camera." Gunn gets up out of the chairs. The lobby back to its actual appearance.
Gunn: "I think I know where to find him."
Angel: "Whoa, whoa. Ho, ho! Hang on. Daylight. I need a coat."
Gunn: "Well, get on it. Because when my girls not happy..." Gunn screaming into the teens face: "...I'm not happy!" Gunn slams the guy up against a stand of comic books.
Teen to Angel: "Is he gonna hurt me?"
Gunn: "Think Daredevil one eighty one. I'm Bullseye, you're Electra. One wins one dies. Get what I'm saying?"
Teen: "Yeah. But we're kind of crushing the Dark Horses." Gunn pulls him away from the comic book stand and lets go of him.
Gunn: "You were taking pictures of my girlfriend. Why?"
Teen: "Because the ceiling was like ripping apart!"
Angel: "Why were you there? You always hang with the physicist crowd?"
Teen: "I wanted to see if it was true, if she was really one of them. You know, one of the students who disappeared."
Gunn: "One of?" Fred and the Professor are walking through a door into a lab at the university.
Fred: "Pylea was a hell dimension, actually. Not as bad as Quor-toth, but - if Angel and Gunn and the rest of them hadn't rescued me, I'd probably be dead by now."
Seidel: "Winifred, I'm a theoretical physicist, completely open to the idea of other dimensions, but - you're naming them."
Fred: "I know. It took me a while to believe it, too, and - I was there." The blonde that was with the professor when Fred first spotted him at the lecture hall is standing over one of the machines.
Seidel: "You know Laurie Drummond, don't you?"
Fred: "You were the TA for high energy physics."
Laurie: "I still am. Not all of us are geniuses."
Seidel: "I'd be lost without Laurie."
Laurie: "Welcome back." Fred smiles at her then follows the professor into this office. Seidel closes the door then walks over to a filing cabinet.
Seidel: "I've been holding on to something for you." Fred looks at the sheaf of paper he hands her.
Fred: "Oh. The last test I took before... - A minus?"
Seidel: "Well, I would have given another student an A plus, but with you - I had to use a different standard."
Fred: "Now he tells me." Seidel sits down on the edge of his desk: "I'd love another crack at it. Teaching you. You have a gift that shouldn't be wasted."
Fred: "It - it's been so long. I mean, writing the article was great, but - I've another life now."
Seidel: "Sounds like a life you stumbled into, not one you chose."
Fred: "I guess it kind of chose me."
Seidel: "Now, I don't know - what I saw yesterday. There are studies about subconscious suggestion, mass hysteria. But I know what I see right now."
Fred: "You do?"
Seidel: "A very talented young woman, who deserves to live in the world she was meant for." The teen comes out through a bead curtain back into the main store where Gunn is waiting by the counter while Angel is reading a comic book.
Teen: "You guys know how it is. Like you hear things from the friend of a friend's room mate. You don't know if they really happen."
Gunn: "Like the story about the girl, the cat and the peanut butter."
Angel: "That one's true. (Gunn looks at him) Long story."
Teen: "Yeah, like, you're Angel, right? There are whole forums on you in chat rooms, man! Who knew you actually, like, existed?!"
Gunn: "The disappearances?"
Teen: "Ah, supposedly there were three before your girlfriend and one since."
Angel: "What do you know?"
Teen: "Just rumors. They're all science types, like these weren't your everyday kidnappings. Hey, maybe I can help you guys. Be your Intern."
Gunn: "We're full up on interns. But the decoder ring's in the mail." Gunn starts to leave and Angel follows him.
Angel: "They talk about me in the chatty rooms?" Fred is flipping through her test paper. Seidel pulls out a book from the shelf behind his desk.
Seidel: "You really should read 'Quantum Cryptography'." Laurie opens the door to the office.
Laurie: "Professor Seidel the oscillator's tweaked again."
Seidel: "I'll have a look. (To Fred) Would you write down your numbers for me? I don't wanna lose track of you for another six years." Fred laughs as the Professor roots through the stuff on his desk.
Seidel: "You laugh. I do have a system." Seidel walks out of the office. Fred goes around his desk to write something down on the paper the professor pulled out for her. Fred walks over to take a look at the titles on the bookshelf.
Fred: "'Plasma and Fluid Turbulence' in with Nutrino books? That's just - wrong." Fred pulls the book out and flips it open. Inside there are archaic looking symbols and charts. She flips a couple of pages and comes across an illustration of what looks a lot like the monster reaching down through the hole in the lecture hall. She hears Seidel's voice coming from outside.
Seidel: "I'll meet you back there. I have some..." Fred quickly puts the book back on the shelf and turns around as the professor walks back into the office. Gunn is pacing behind Angel, who is looking stuff up on the computer.
Gunn: "I don't like this, man. I got a bad feeling." Angel turns and looks at him.
Gunn: "What?
Angel: "Here. The thing all the students had in common."
Gunn: "Oliver Seidel. As in the guy she's with right now." Gunn turns to hurry out the office and almost runs into Fred standing just inside the door.
Gunn: "Fred. Thank god. Look, there is something we got to tell you. The portal..."
Fred: "It was professor Seidel."
Gunn: "Yeah."
Fred: "And he's done it before."
Angel: "That's right. There are others."
Fred: "No. To me. He's the son of a bitch that sent me to Pylea."
Gunn: "What?"
Angel: "We're gonna get this guy."
Gunn: "Count on it. He's gonna pay."
Fred: "No. He's gonna die." Break
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gunn: "What do you mean, die?"
Fred: "I don't know yet - but it's going to be about pain." Fred opens the weapons cabinet.
Fred: "The halberd could work." Fred picks it up and makes stabbing motions with it as she turns back to Gunn and Angel, who back up a little.
Fred: "Acting like I'm all addlebrained talking about other dimensions. Pylea, never heard of it. Right! How about a flail whipping? Would that take a nice long time?"
Angel: "Hours if you do it right. (Fred picks a flail form the cabinet and whirls it around) Not that you should do it (Angel steps up and carefully takes the flail away from her) at all. - Ever."
Fred: "He's a killer. And he's just sitting there smiling, telling me I'm so gifted and how he wants to teach me. Oh, there is going to be a lesson, all right."
Gunn: "Alright, Fred, lets calm down."
Fred: "I idolized him and he sent me to hell. Me and god knows how many others who didn't make it back, so -so sure! I'll calm down - when he's dead!"
Gunn: "Fred, a few years ago I would have done in the guy myself. But this? It isn't what we do." Gunn tries to take the halberd away from Fred but she pulls out of his reach.
Fred: "We kill monsters every day."
Gunn: "We help people. Fred, if you do this, the demons you'll be living with won't be the horned, fangy kind, they'll be the kind you can't get rid of."
Fred: "You're wrong."
Angel: "He's right. Whatever you do now, is nothing compared to how it'll be afterward."
Gunn: "What you're talking about goes against everything you believe in, everything *we* believe in. Fred, you idolized him, but don't let him be defining what you are now." Gunn holds out a hand.
Gunn: "Can I have the ax?" After a moment Fred lets him have the ax.
Fred: "I'm sorry, Charles. I guess I kind of lost it."
Gunn: "You want a drink? I could make you some cocoa."
Fred: "No. Thanks. I'm just - gonna go lay down - for a few days." Gunn watches Fred walk up the stairs, then turns to face Angel.
Gunn: "So what are we gonna do to this guy?"
Angel: "No idea. But let's do it fast."
Gunn: "We got to get to him before Fred changes her mind. 'cause vengeance? It can get ugly." Wes walks over to the table in his apartment, opening a couple of beer bottles.
Wes: "Vengeance - sounds good."
Fred: "Angel and Gunn want me to be all sweetness and light. Cute little Fred, she'll turn the other cheek like a good girl. (Fred takes a bottle from Wes and sits down on the sofa) I mean, they saw what professor Seidel is capable of! He opened that portal right in front of them." Wes sits down across from her: "They dealt with it handily enough."
Fred: "You were there?"
Wes: "I read your article, saw you'd be speaking. Was an excellent piece. Although I'm not sure I understand how Pauli repulsion is so readily reversed. - Layman's opinion."
Fred: "You've been keeping track of me."
Wes: "Yes. - Well, about this professor Seidel, what did you have in mind?"
Fred: "Beyond pain, I'm not really sure. That's why I came to you." Wes sets his bottle down and leans forward.
Wes: "Fred, you do know that everything Angel and Gunn told you is true. Vengeance will have a price - and once you've acted you can't go back. You'll have to live with your actions forever."
Fred: "He's a serial killer."
Wes gets up: "Alright then. (Walks over to his books) I'm sure we'll find - an appropriate solution." Fred comes to look over Wes shoulder as he flips through the pages. Wes gives her a quick glance.
Wes: "Ah, here is something interesting. Once practiced in ancient Egypt."
Fred: "Is that his tongue?" Cell phone chirps and Fred pulls it out. She flips it open to see some strange looking symbols on the display screen. A wind starts to whip her hair around and Fred looks up to see that a portal is opening right in front of her and Wes. Wes grabs a hold of Fred, letting go of his book, which is sucked into the portal, then throws both of them over the back of his sofa. Their roll blends into Connor and Cordy rolling on the ground, Cordy ending up on top.
Cordy: "Thanks."
Connor: "Anytime." There is a growling sound and Cordy rolls off Connor. Connor catches the boot of the vampire stomping down on him and throws the vamp back onto the ground. Getting to his feet, Connor pulls Cordy up as well, then turns to confront the vampire. The vampire slashes at Connor, but Connor jumps straight up, clinging to some pipes along the ceiling for a moment before dropping back down and trying to stake the vamp.
Cordy: "Can I help?" The vampire bats Connor to the side.
Cordy: "Uh, that hurt." Cordy moves in with her hand ax. When the vampire knocks it out of her hand she kicks the vamps weapon out of his hand, and dusts him in one smooth motion. Cordy looks from her stake to the dust cloud.
Cordy: "I did that. I did that. Oh! I did that!" She turns around and throws herself at Connor, who catches her in a big hug. Cordy laughs as he twirls her around, then leans in to plant a quick kiss on Connor's mouth. Then a second one, which turns into something longer. After a moment Cordy pulls back, looking at Connor and putting one hand up next to her mouth. Hyperion, night, Angel and Gunn are in Fred's empty room.
Gunn: "And I'm asking her if she wants cocoa. Stupid!"
Angel: "She's gonna kill him."
Gunn: "If he doesn't kill her first. You know where she went."
Angel: "Look, I'm faster on my own."
Gunn: "Go. I'll meet you there."
Angel: "She'll be okay." Angel jumps out the window. Fred, sitting in the passenger seat while Wes is driving, fits an arrow into a crossbow.
Wes: "You remember everything we went over?"
Fred: "I do. And I'm gonna give him exactly what he deserves. Thanks to you." Wes looks at her then away.
Fred: "What?"
Wes: "I was just thinking, uhm - not that I don't get his point, but I'm surprised Gunn's not here. No matter what the consequences."
Fred: "Charles doesn't have it in him. It's part of what I love about him."
Wes: "You can still back out - if you think Gunn's right."
Fred: "It's not about what's right. - Pull over there." Wes does.
Wes: "I'd ask to tag along."
Fred: "But you know what the answer would be." Wes watches as she gets out of the car. The professor is in his office taking papers out of his filing cabinet and putting them into a cardboard box. He hears the door open and turns to see Angel walk in.
Angel: "Going somewhere?"
Seidel backing around his desk: "No. No. I..." Angel tosses the desk between them to the side.
Angel: "I hear Pelican Bay's nice this time of year and I'm sure the inmates will just love your lectures." Seidel pulls a book from the shelf.
Seidel: "Get out of here."
Angel: "See, I can't do that. Fred's a friend of mine, and that little sabbatical you had planned for her? Not nice."
Seidel: "You don't have any evidence on me, you can't..."
Angel: "Oh, but I can. And when I'm done I'm guessing there's gonna be a full confession..." The professor opens the book and begins to read from it: "Barathrum copeo lacero. Increpito immanis barathrum copeo lacero."
Angel: "Great." A portal forms next to the professor and an ugly gray demon steps out of it to attack Angel while Seidel runs out of the office and straight into the butt of Fred's crossbow. Fred reverses the crossbow and aims it at Seidel trying to pick himself up off the floor.
Fred: "You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm the bitch." Break In Connor's lair Cordy is putting her clothes away. Connor walks up and puts his arms around her from behind.
Connor: "How about some more training? Then tomorrow we can..."
Cordy: "Ah, Connor... (She steps out of his arms and turns to face him) We need to talk."
Connor: "Okay."
Cordy: "Okay." They walk over to the bed.
Cordy: "Sit down." Connor does and Cordy sits down next to him, letting out a sigh.
Cordy: "About what happened - earlier. The - non CPR mouth to mouth."
Connor: "When you kissed me."
Cordy: "Right. - I shouldn't have."
Connor: "But..."
Cordy: "Connor. I don't know who I am, much less where I belong or who with. And there is a picture over there when you were a baby and it's only eight months old. There is a lot I need to figure out. - I'm sorry." Connor sighs.
Cordy: "So, I'm gonna..."
Connor gets up: "You're going back to him, aren't you?"
Cordy gets up: "I just need some time to think. Okay?" Connor watches her walk out, then turns and hits the wall with his fist. The gray demon flies into the bookshelves behind the professor's desk. Angel grabs the phone off the desk and hits the demon with it repeatedly. Angel straightens up and picks some crud off his jacket as he turns to leave the office.
Angel: "Oh man..." The gray demon grabs a hold of Angel's ankle and topples him to the floor.
Angel looks back: "What the..." The demon tosses Angel against a wall. The professor sits up and looks at Fred.
Fred: "Stay right there."
Seidel slowly gets up: "Winifred. Fred. Please. Let's talk about this."
Fred: "Talk? Sure, let's talk. Because you gave *me* the chance to... - oh, wait, no you didn't. Oh, well. No talking."
Seidel: "Fred, I know you. You're not capable of hurting anyone.'
Fred: "You don't know me. Not anymore. Five years of pain and suffering in a hell dimension will make a girl capable of a lot of things." Angel is standing in the office, the demon's head held in one hand. He looks from it to the rest of the body, which is once again beginning to stir.
Angel: "Come on! I'm *holding* your head!" The demon stands up, a new head popping up between its shoulders, and attacks Angel again. Fred still has her crossbow aimed at the professor.
Fred: "Kind of funny thinking threatened you were by me back when I was a grad student. That's why you sent me and the others away, isn't it? You couldn't handle the competition."
Seidel: "Fred..."
Fred: "And that's why Laurie is still around. She's not smart enough to overshadow you, is she? Not like me. I'm special. Special on a Pylean platter with a side of you-make-me-sick!"
Seidel: "Why don't you just let me..."
Fred: "Go? Well, since you asked so nicely. Sure. I've even practiced a good-bye speech. Klyv mat chyvma klyvma chyt." A portal opens in the floor between them. The professor holds onto the lab table behind him to keep from being sucked in. Gunn walks into the lab.
Gunn: "Fred! No!"
Fred: "Go away, Charles! You asked me not to kill him and I'm not. - Not exactly."
Gunn: "Sure you are. No way he can survive that." Gunn takes the crossbow away from Fred.
Gunn: "Fred, don't let him do this to you."
Fred: "How dare you? You don't know. You don't know what it was like!" Gunn looks at the growing portal.
Seidel: "Please help me!"
Gunn: "I promise, we'll stop him. We'll find some other way."
Seidel: "Fred! Winifred, please! Help me!"
Fred: "You see? He'll never stop! He'll do it again!"
Gunn: "If you kill him, I'm gonna lose you."
Seidel: "Help me! Help me!" Gunn runs over and pulls Seidel away just as the table is sucked into the portal in the floor.
Fred: "Charles, no!" Gunn looks at Fred. He takes a hold of Seidel's head, breaks his neck then lets the body drop into the portal, which closes behind it. Fred and Gunn face each other across the spot where the portal was only moments ago. Angel walks out of the office.
Angel: "What happened to the professor?" Gunn, never taking his eyes of Fred: "It's taken care of." Fred looks down at the floor between them. Hyperion, night, Angel walks into the lobby followed by Fred and Gunn.
Angel: "Sucked into his own portal. Wish I could have seen his face."
Gunn heads for the stairs: "Yeah. I'm gonna..."
Fred following Gunn: "Good night." Angel watches them walk up the stairs.
Angel, quietly: "Good night." Angel turns and see Cordy standing just inside the garden court door.
Cordy: "Hi."
Angel: "Cordelia." Cordy points over her shoulder with her thumb.
Cordy: "Can we...?" Cordy walks out into the garden court and sits down on the dry fountain. Angel trails after and sits down next to her. Cordy raises a hand to the wound on the side of Angel's head, but Angel shies away from her touch.
Cordy: "You should have somebody look at that."
Angel: "It'll be okay. Run-in with a Voynok demon. Turns out they have nine lives."
Cordy: "Like a cat?"
Angel chuckles: "Only less stand off-ish."
Cordy after a beat: "We were friends. - I know that. - Not just from the pictures, but... - And I know that's why you lied before - to protect me. - Well, I - I staked a vamp today."
Angel: "Connor took you..."
Cordy: "And what I realized is - whoever I was before - I'm still her. She didn't need protecting, and neither do I. - So no more lies?"
Angel: "No more lies."
Cordy: "Good. Because - there is something I need to know. - Were we in love?"
|
Plan: A: a physics paper; Q: What does Fred write? A: a guest lecturer; Q: What is Fred invited to be at her old college? A: all her former professors; Q: Who does Fred speak in front of? A: Fred's head; Q: What does the portal open up over? Summary: When Fred writes a physics paper, she's invited to her old college as a guest lecturer. Angel, Gunn and Wes show up to support her as she speaks in front of all her former professors. But when a portal opens up over Fred's head, it becomes clear that something supernatural is happening to her... Again.
|
THE MIND OF EVIL
BY: DON HOUGHTON
5:15pm - 5:40pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: EXT. STANGMOOR PRISON
(Bessie, carrying the DOCTOR and JO, drives along a road and approaches a thick-walled, grey stone gatehouse. The DOCTOR stops the car in front of the imposing closed wooden gates within the gatehouse and the two occupants look upwards at the imposing structure.)
JO: It looks like Dracula's castle.
DOCTOR: Well you're right about the castle bit. It used to be a fortress in the Middle Ages.
(The DOCTOR gets out of the car.)
JO: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Mmm?
JO: You'll need this.
(She passes him a small wallet like object.)
DOCTOR: (Smiles.) Thanks Jo.
(The DOCTOR walks up and presses a bell push in the wall next to a sign that identifies the castle-like structure as "H.M. PRISON STANGMOOR". He sees that JO is still looking anxiously at the building.)
DOCTOR: Smile Jo!
JO: (Startled.) What?
DOCTOR: You're on camera!
(The DOCTOR points upward to where a security camera hangs on the wall, its lens trained on the new arrivals. The DOCTOR grins at her, steps back and starts waving childishly at the camera. JO smiles at his antics.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. DUTY ROOM
(Within the prison, SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN and one of the PRISON OFFICERS stare in some disbelief at the image on their security monitor.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: EXT. STANGMOOR PRISON
(So intent is the DOCTOR on his performance that he fails to see the approach of another PRISON OFFICER. He stops in mid-wave when he suddenly becomes aware of the impassive official.)
DOCTOR: (Embarrassed.) Oh, good morning. Err...observers from UNIT. My admission pass.
(The DOCTOR holds up the small pass that JO handed him. The OFFICER checks the photographic pass over and then looks over to JO, still sat in Bessie, who shows him her pass. He then speaks into a small walkie-talkie.)
PRISON OFFICER: Right, passes checked and satisfactory. Right, open the gates.
(The OFFICER walks off without a word. The DOCTOR joins JO in Bessie muttering as he does so...)
DOCTOR: Abandon hope all ye who enter here!
(The two drive through the opened gates, underneath a raised barrier and into the prison. The gates slam shut behind them.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MAIN GALLERY
(Within the brick walled prison gallery there is near bedlam. Prisoners bang on the cell doors with any objects they can find. PRISON OFFICERS try to calm the situation. On the ground landing, CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS approaches his subordinate as he runs out of one of the side rooms.)
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Green! ... settle down. The Governor's on his way.
(GREEN runs off to try and stop the racket. The PRISON GOVERNOR, plump dark haired Scot, walks out of a side door with another man - PROFESSOR KETTERING. POWERS salutes the GOVERNOR.)
PRISON GOVERNOR: Morning Chief, everything all right?
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Will be, sir.
PRISON GOVERNOR: Good, good,...
(The GOVERNOR'S words are lost over the sound of the protest but he starts to ascend a metal staircase to the upper landing, followed by POWERS, KETTERING and a white-jacketed man - DR. SUMMERS.)
PRISON OFFICER: Keep that noise down!
(The row continues as the procession turns left on the upper landing and step through a barred gate that GREEN opens for them. As they are about to descend a staircase, KETTERING, a small graying man turns irritably to SUMMERS.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Why do they always have to make that stupid row?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: It always happens when sentences are being carried out.
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. CELL
(CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS opens an inspection hatch in a cell door and looks within. He opens the cell door and enters. Two OFFICERS within, playing drafts, stand up. The prisoner within the cell, BARNHAM, jumps up off his bed. Although a large and violent looking man, he has a look of fear on his face. The group enters the cell and the GOVERNOR addresses BARNHAM in an official tone.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: George Patrick Barnham...
BARNHAM: (Shouts.) No, you're not going to take me anywhere!
PRISONER GOVERNOR: ... by a court of law.
BARNHAM: (Shouts.) Get away from me!
PRISONER GOVERNOR: The time has come for that sentence to be carried out.
BARNHAM: (Shouts.) Go on! Get out! All of yer!
DR. SUMMERS: I'll give him something to calm him.
(DR. SUMMERS places a medical briefcase on the bed but BARNHAM grabs it and throws it off.)
BARNHAM: You won't give me nothing, mate! Get out! All of yer!
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Pack it in, Barnham, you're just being stupid.
BARNHAM: You're not going to get me out there!
(POWERS looks over to the two OFFICERS.)
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Get him!
(The two OFFICERS spring forward. There is a loud tussle but the prisoner is soon overpowered, protesting loudly...)
PRISON GOVERNOR: All right ... !
BARNHAM: (Shouts.) ... , you'll break me arm!
(...and is dragged from the cell.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. SIDE GALLERY
(BARNHAM is almost pulled up the staircase still shouting. GREEN opens the barred gate.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. CELL
(POWERS hands SUMMERS his medical briefcase which he has picked up off the floor and the two leave the cell.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(In a large white, clinical looking room off the main gallery a large group of suited people are gathered. Most sit on chairs, which are on all sides of the room. But some of the people are in the center of the room where there is another chair with straps built into it and a device like a dome hanging over it. This in turn is connected by wires to a machine, which rests next to the chair. It is has some controls and dials on the flat base and a perspex tube rising upwards out of the center, topped by a dome with a light on the front. The perspex tube would appear to be empty. SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN opens one of the double doors to the room - the process theatre - and enters. The noise of the protest by the prisoners is reaching the people in the room and is making them noticeably nervous.)
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: Sorry about the noise, ladies and gentlemen - just a temporary disturbance.
(JO walks over to where the DOCTOR is looking over a large bank of controls in one corner of the room.)
JO: Tell me about it...
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: (To the people in the room.) Now if you'd like to take your seats.
JO: (To the DOCTOR.) It sounds like a full-scale riot.
(The DOCTOR looks over the observers as they take their seats.)
DOCTOR: Morbid lot of sensation seekers.
(He walks across the room...)
JO: Then why did you insist on coming here?
DOCTOR: Scientific curiosity, my dear.
JO: Oh yes!
(...and they take their seats on a front row of chairs. The DOCTOR throws his cloak back, inadvertently draping over the man sat next to him. He mutters an apology and turns to JO.)
DOCTOR: Something's been worrying me about this Keller process ever since I first heard about it.
(The door to the process theatre opens.)
DOCTOR: Oh, the curtain is about to go up.
(The GOVERNOR, KETTERING and POWERS enter. The latter goes up to GREEN and speaks quietly to him.)
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Mr. Green, ... wing, keep quiet.
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: All right chief.
(He leaves the room as the GOVERNOR stands in front of the seated observers.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Ladies and gentlemen, good morning.
(All mutter a reply except for the DOCTOR who loudly proclaims:)
DOCTOR: Good morning!
(The GOVERNOR quickly looks at the oddly dressed individual, coughs and carries on...)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: May I introduce Professor Kettering, who will explain the process you're about to see demonstrated.
(KETTERING steps forward.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Well, as you're no doubt aware, we no longer execute our hardened criminals and killers. Modern society has progressed far beyond that primitive form of retribution. Today, science...
DOCTOR: (To JO.) It all depends what you mean by progress, doesn't it?
(KETTERING is somewhat thrown by the DOCTOR'S rather loud side comment. He gives him a cold look and continues.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING:...science has abolished the hangman's noose and substituted this infallible method. Professor Emil Keller...
DOCTOR: (To JO.) People who go on about infallibility are usually on very shaky ground, I think!
(Again, KETTERING is thrown. He goes and stands directly in front of the DOCTOR.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: For the benefit of the less sophisticated members of my audience, I will explain in very simple terms!
(The DOCTOR gives JO a rueful look. KETTERING goes over to the machine in the center of the room.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Professor Emil Keller, the inventor of this process, discovered that anti-social behavior was governed by certain negative or "evil" impulses. Now this machine - the Keller machine - extracts these impulses and leaves a rational, well-balanced individual. Because...
DOCTOR: (To JO.) It doesn't.
JO: What?
PROFESSOR KETTERING: (To the DOCTOR.) May I be permitted to continue?
DOCTOR: (Unfazed.) Oh yes...yes, please do!
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Thank you. The condemned man is placed here... (He indicates the chair.) ...after being tranquillized with his head under this dome. A series of probes are attached to his skull so as to connect with the neural circuits.
(He walks over to the bank of controls that the DOCTOR was looking over earlier.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: The extraction process...is controlled here. The negative impulses are stored in that reservoir box there.
(He points to the upright perspex tube in the device next to the chair.)
DOCTOR: And where do they go after that?
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Nowhere sir. I repeat they are stored in the box.
DOCTOR: Which is now full of these negative or evil impulses.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Not full. The indicator registers only sixty-five percent at this time.
(POWERS opens the door to the theatre and two white-coated orderlies wheel in BARNHAM on a trolley. SUMMERS follows.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: The machine has been used very successfully in Switzerland. A hundred and twelve cases have been processed to date and today we shall witness the one hundred and thirteenth. Thank you, Doctor Summers.
DR. SUMMERS: Come on, old chap, up you get.
(The two orderlies assist the sedated BARNHAM off the trolley and into the chair. As SUMMERS connects a wired skullcap emanating from the dome to BARNHAM'S head, KETTERING continues his lecture.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Err, when the process is completed the negative impulses that made this man a criminal will have been removed. He will take his place as a useful - if lowly - member of society. Are you ready, Doctor summers?
DR. SUMMERS: Yes.
(KETTERING adjust a control on the Keller machine and then walks over to the control bank. The DOCTOR leans forward - a look of concern on his face. KETTERING activates more controls, then nods at the GOVERNOR.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Let the sentence of the court been carried out.
(KELLER switches the device on. The lights in the room darken, lights in the Keller machine start flashing and a variable buzzing sound starts to fill the room. Suddenly BARNHAM screams in pain. Everybody in the room jumps.)
DOCTOR: (To JO.) I knew there was something evil about that machine!
DR. SUMMERS: Kettering! Look at the dial.
(KETTERING runs over to where SUMMERS is looking at a dial on the front of the Keller machine.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: What of it?
DR. SUMMERS: It's never registered so high before.
(As KETTERING runs back over to the control bank and starts frantically to adjust controls, SUMMERS examines BARNHAM through his stethoscope.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Mr. Kettering, what's happening?
(KETTERING manages to reduce the power of the machine and the lights in the room return to normal.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Well?
PROFESSOR KETTERING: A minor malfunction. The machine compensated.
(SUMMERS nods to KETTERING.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: The process is completed satisfactorily.
DOCTOR: (To JO.) Satisfactorily be blowed!
PROFESSOR KETTERING: The subject will be taken away to recuperate and within an hour or two he will be perfectly normal.
DOCTOR: I admire your confidence, sir.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Thank you. That is all, gentlemen.
(The observers in the room get up and start to leave - except for the DOCTOR and JO who walk over and join the GOVERNOR and KETTERING.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: I take it everything was all right, Mr. Kettering.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Yes, of course, Governor.
DOCTOR: Then would you kindly explain, sir, that unfortunate man's reaction?
PROFESSOR KETTERING: (Without looking up.) An excess of negative particles. The machine overreacted.
DOCTOR: In other words - you don't know.
(KETTERING turns and faces the DOCTOR.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: May I ask who you are, sir?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: The Doctor is scientific advisor to UNIT, Mr. Kettering.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: UNIT?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: United Nations Intelligence Taskforce.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: How interesting, though I fail to see what concern it is...
DOCTOR: (Interrupting.) UNIT, sir, was set up to deal with new and unusual menaces to mankind - and in my view, this machine of yours is just that!
(He gives KETTERING a hard look.)
DOCTOR: Jo.
(They walk out, leaving a worried looking KETTERING behind.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MEDICAL WING
(In the hospital, BARNHAM lies unconscious in bed, linked to a monitoring machine. SUMMERS takes a reading.)
DR. SUMMERS: Right.
(He picks up a clipboard and is making a note when KETTERING enters the room, looking concerned.)
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Well?
DR. SUMMERS: Nothing much wrong physically. Respiration normal, pulse rates a little high but that's usual after the process.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: (Relaxing.) Ah, exactly. A completely successful treatment.
DR. SUMMERS: (Looking in BARNHAM'S eyes.) The reaction was unusually violent.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Really, my dear Summers, you're as bad as that interfering fool from UNIT.
(A phone rings.)
DR. SUMMERS: Excuse me.
(SUMMERS goes into a side room and picks up the phone.)
DR. SUMMERS: (Into phone.) Medical wing? (He listens.) Yes? (He listens again.) What? (He listens.) Have you told the Governor? (He listens.) I'll be right over.
(He walks out of the side-room, speaking to an orderly as he goes.)
DR. SUMMERS: Come with me.
(He makes for the door, speaking to another orderly who is with BARNHAM.)
DR. SUMMERS: You stay with the patient.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Anything the matter?
DR. SUMMERS: There's been some kind of an accident in the process room. They think the man's dead.
(KETTERING rushes after SUMMERS.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(In the process room, a young man lies dead on the floor. SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN is examining him. He extracts his wallet and starts to look through it for identification. SUMMERS and his two companions enter the room.)
DR. SUMMERS: Who is he?
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: I don't know, sir.
(SUMMERS starts to examine the man as the GOVERNOR, the DOCTOR and JO enter.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: What happened?
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: I don't know, sir. I was coming along the corridor and I heard him screaming.
DOCTOR: (To SUMMERS.) Is he dead?
DR. SUMMERS: (Sadly.) Yes...he's dead.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Probably a heart attack - delayed shock from seeing the process.
DOCTOR: Perhaps...but I doubt it. (To SUMMERS.) Might I suggest an immediate investigation into his past medical history...and a post mortem.
DR. SUMMERS: Yes...yes, a good idea. I'll see to it right away. (To the orderly.) Get a stretcher, will you?
(He leaves the room.)
JO: (Upset.) Doctor? Did you see his face? He looks terrified - and those...marks, like...
DOCTOR: Bites and scratches? Yes, I know.
JO: Look, I think we'd better get onto the Brigadier.
DOCTOR: Yes, I agree, Jo, but not just yet. Now, let me get that post mortem first. It'll give me more to go on.
(He turns back to the body.)
JO: All right. Anyway, I don't think he'd thank us for disturbing him right now.
DOCTOR: (Not really listening.) Mmm?
JO: He did tell you all about it, Doctor.
DOCTOR: (Puzzled.) All about what?
JO: (With some exasperation.) Today's the first ever world peace conference. UNIT's handling all the security arrangements.
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: INT. UNIT LONDON HQ. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE
(The BRIGADIER is on the telephone...)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, that's all very well, sir, but in my opinion...
(As he listens, there is a knock and CAPTAIN YATES enters, closing the double doors closed behind him.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Yes, I see, sir... (He listens.) ...of course, sir... (He listens.) ...I take it that is your final decision?... (He listens again.) ...very well, sir, goodbye.
(He puts the phone down.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Trouble, sir?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: That was the ministry. UNIT'll be responsible for the safe transport of the missile. It's been cleared with Geneva.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: (Sighs.) Well, that's all we needed. What with the peace conference on our hands as well.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes.
(He gets up and goes to a filing cabinet.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I want you to take charge of this escort detail, Captain Yates. I've got quite enough on my plate as it is.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: I'll get onto it right away.
(The BRIGADIER hands him a file and resumes his seat. YATES turns to leave.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, is the Doctor back from Stangmoor yet?
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: No sir. Erm , what exactly is he doing down there?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Skeptically.) Observing new development in the treatment of criminals, I believe. Oh well, I suppose it will keep him out of mischief. By the way, how are things at the conference?
(Slightly upraised voices can be heard in the outer office.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Oh, all running smoothly, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I only hope it lasts.
(The doors burst open and a grim, unsmiling young Asiatic woman in the green uniform of the Chinese army enters the room, closely followed by a flustered CORPORAL BELL, the BRIGADIER'S secretary.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: All right, Corporal Bell.
(BELL leaves the room as CAPTAIN YATES carries forward a chair for the visitor. She ignores it and stands before the BRIGADIER'S desk.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, Captain Chin Lee, what can I do for you?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: Brigadier, an outrage has been committed against the Chinese people's delegation. As you are in charge of security arrangements, we hold you directly responsible.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Patiently.) What is it now, Captain?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: Important state documents have been stolen from General Cheng Teik's suite.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: That's impossible. There's a twenty-four hour guard on all the delegate's suites.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: Nevertheless, the theft has occurred. Your guards are inefficient. Perhaps they take bribes?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Furious.) That is an insulting suggestion, Captain! I will not tolerate any...
(CHIN LEE stares impassively at him as he collects his temper...)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Very well, Captain, I'll investigate the matter immediately.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: I must warn you that this puts the success of the peace conference in grave jeopardy. We suspect the imperialist Americans of this crime.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Dryly.) Naturally. I assure that every effort will be made to locate the missing papers and punish whoever is responsible.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: (Threatening.) Any further trouble and our delegation will withdraw from this conference.
(She storms out of the room.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: More trouble!
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Mmm, pity, she's quite a dolly!
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: EXT. UNIT LONDON HQ
(CHIN LEE walks out of the town house which is serving as the London HQ but her whole demeanor has changed. Her threatening icy tone has disappeared and she now walks in a trance, past the open door of her car held for her by a puzzled chauffeur and into a park across the street where children are playing. She walks up to a litter bin in the park and, seemingly struggling with her actions, pulls a roll of documents from out of her tunic. She sets fire to them with a lighter and observes the gathering flame as a buzzing sound seems to fill her head. She throws the flaming paper into the bin, her facing slightly creasing with pain. She feels behind her right ear...where there is concealed a small round metallic device. The trance seems to take over her again and she walks away from the litterbin and its burning contents.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(The DOCTOR, KETTERING and the GOVERNOR enter the theatre. The body has been taken away.)
DOCTOR: But you are still convinced this Keller process is working normally?
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Yes, of course it is. I mean, you've just seen Barnham.
DOCTOR: Yes...yes, I've seen him.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Look, Emil Keller himself installed it here. I worked closely with him. I know every facet of the process.
DOCTOR: Yes, I know...but I still don't like it.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: What?
DOCTOR: Interfering with the mind, Governor. It's a dangerous business.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Well, it's hardly your concern, is it?
DOCTOR: (Angrily.) Professor Kettering, it is everyone's concern!
DR. SUMMERS: (OOV: Outside the room.) After you,...
(JO and SUMMERS enter the room, the latter carrying a file.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Ah, Doctor Summers, any news for us?
DR. SUMMERS: I've got the post mortem report.
PROFESSOR KETTERING:: Well?
DR. SUMMERS: The deceased's name was Arthur Linwood, a medical student in his final year...
DOCTOR: (Interrupting.) Yes, yes, yes, but what did he die of?
DR. SUMMERS: Heart failure.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: (Satisfied.) Watching the process was too much for him.
DR. SUMMERS: But he didn't have a weak heart, Mr. Kettering.
DOCTOR: Anything in his medical history?
DR. SUMMERS: Yes, I called his hospital. He suffered from a fear of certain animals.
DOCTOR: Oh, which ones?
DR. SUMMERS: Well, apparently in the laboratory. He was absolutely terrified of...
DOCTOR: (Guessing.) Rats!
DR. SUMMERS: Yes...
DOCTOR: Yeah...tell me, these, err, these marks on his face on his face and neck, these bites and scratches, could they have been caused by rats?
DR. SUMMERS: Certainly they could, yes.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: (Indignant but puzzled.) But there are no rats in this room. There's none in the entire prison.
DR. SUMMERS: Yet all the indications are that he was attacked by a hoard of them and...and the shock killed him.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: You must be mistaken.
DOCTOR: But Linwood is dead.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Because of heart failure!
DOCTOR: No, Professor Kettering, because of this machine.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: I tell you that man's death had nothing to do with this machine, and if you were a scientist you'd understand!
DOCTOR: (Shouts furiously.) If I were a scientist?! Let me tell you sir that I am a scientist...and I have been for several thousand...!
(He stops himself before he says something that he would regret. He storms out of the room.)
DOCTOR: Jo...
PROFESSOR KETTERING: The man's mad.
JO: On the contrary, sir, he happens to be a genius! (To the GOVERNOR.) I do wish you'd listen to him.
(She follows the DOCTOR.)
DR. SUMMERS: (To the GOVERNOR.) Victor?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: I think you'd better give this machine a thorough check, Professor Kettering.
PROFESSOR KETTERING: Yes, of course, Governor. But I assure you there's no reason for anxiety.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: (Not convinced.) All the same, better safe than sorry, hmm?
(They leave a slightly chastened KETTERING behind as they exit the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. UNIT LONDON HQ. OUTER OFFICE
(CAPTAIN YATES is on one phone, sticking pins in a map as he speaks. CORPORAL BELL has just taken another call as the BRIGADIER enters.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: (Into phone.) I'll give you the final security schedules just as soon as I've had a chance to clear them with the Brigadier.
CORPORAL BELL: (To the BRIGADIER.) A call for you on line one, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, put it through, will you?
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: (Into phone.) Right, right, I'll ring you back within twenty minutes.
(She transfers the call and answers another ringing phone as the BRIGADIER enters his office.)
CORPORAL BELL: (Into phone.) UNIT HQ? Oh, good morning, Captain...
[SCENE_BREAK]
15: INT. UNIT LONDON HQ. BRIGADIER'S OFFICE
CORPORAL BELL: (OOV: In outer office.) Yes, certainly Captain, I'm just ...
(The BRIGADIER answers his phone.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Lethbridge Stewart? (He listens.) I see...you're sure?... (He listens.) ...very well, continue the search.
(He puts the phone down and speaks into an intercom.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Captain Yates, will you come in for a moment please?
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: (OOV: On intercom.) Yes sir.
(YATES enters the room.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, sit down.
(He shuts the door behind him and does so.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Well, there's no trace of Chin Lee's missing papers. Our people have turned the place inside out. It wouldn't surprise me if she lost them herself.
(BELL enters the room.)
CORPORAL BELL: Excuse me, sir. Captain Chin Lee on the phone. Do you want to speak to her?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (With a tired note in his voice.) Yes, I'll speak to her.
(He reaches for a phone.)
CORPORAL BELL: Err, hotline, sir.
(He picks up another phone on his desk.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, I wonder what she's complaining of this time? (Into phone.) Yes, good afternoon, Captain Chin Lee, what can I do for you?
(A look of concern appears on his face and his manner becomes tense.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into phone.) Yes, I see... (He listens.) ...no, don't touch anything. I'll be over at once.
(He puts the phone down.)
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: More stolen papers, sir?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (Into intercom.) Get my car ready at once.
CORPORAL BELL: (OOV: Over intercom.) Right away, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (To YATES.) We've got real trouble this time, the Chinese delegate's dead.
[SCENE_BREAK]
16: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(Alone in the process theatre, KETTERING takes an inspection hatch off the front of the control bank at the side of the room. As he starts to inspect the wiring, an undulating noise starts to fill the room. KETTERING puts his hands to his ears in pain. He turns round and sees that the Keller machine seems to have come to life of its own accord.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
17: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MAIN GALLERY
(SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN is on patrol as noise and shouts from the locked-up prisoners starts to increase. The OFFICERS react...)
PRISON OFFICER: All right in there, keep the noise down.
(POWERS comes out of the duty room and shouts up to GREEN who is on the upper landing.)
CHIEF PRISON OFFICER POWERS: Starting up again, are they?
SENIOR PRISON OFFICER GREEN: Just like before, I don't what it is.
(The prisoners become more restless and starting banging on the cell doors.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
18: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(The noise from the Keller machine now fills the room. KETTERING spins round, a look of panic on his face. The lights on and within the machine pulse on and off. KETTERING steps towards it, the look of panic on his face becoming more pronounced. He turns back to the control bank but his efforts to reach out towards it are paralyzed. He clutches his head in pain and turns back to the machine, trying to focus his eyes on it. Suddenly, the look of panic turns to one of sheer terror. As he waves his arms in a swimming motion, he seems to be surrounded by water. He gasps for breath within the mental sea that surrounds him and slowly starts to sink in its depths. As he falls to the ground, the sea of water disappears and the Keller machine falls silent...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
19: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE (LATER)
(KETTERING lies on a stretcher. DR. SUMMERS pulls a sheet over his face and the two medical orderlies lift the stretcher up and carry it away as the DOCTOR, JO and the GOVERNOR enter the room.)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Dead...you know how it happened, Roland?
DR. SUMMERS: (Stunned.) I'm not sure...it's incredible...
DOCTOR: Well, come on man, come on!
DR. SUMMERS: From the position of the body, tint of the skin...
DOCTOR: Well?
DR. SUMMERS: All the symptoms are consistent with death by drowning.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: But that's ridiculous!
DOCTOR: Like the rats?
DR. SUMMERS: Shall I go and check on his medical record?
DOCTOR: Yes, it's a good idea.
(SUMMERS starts to leave the room.)
DOCTOR: How long would you say he'd been dead?
DR. SUMMERS: Oh, a matter of minutes, five at the outside.
(SUMMERS leaves.)
JO: That must have been about the time the riots started.
DOCTOR: Yes, exactly.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Are you suggesting there's some connection?
(The DOCTOR walks, pondering, over to the Keller machine.)
DOCTOR: This machine has the power to affect men's minds, Governor...and it's growing stronger.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Oh, come now, Doctor! It's only a machine.
DOCTOR: Yes, maybe...but nevertheless it's dangerous and it should be destroyed now!
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Well, huh! I've no authority to do that. I'll report your recommendations to the Home Office but they'll have to decide.
DOCTOR: And I wonder how many deaths it'll take to convince them?
[SCENE_BREAK]
20: INT. CHINESE DELEGATION'S SUITE
(Another sheet is draped over another body - that of the Chinese delegate. CHIN LEE is accusatory but somewhat nervous in tone...)
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: First theft, Brigadier. Now murder - what are you going to do about it?
(The room would be modern and comfortable but an obvious struggle has taken place. Furniture, cushions and pictures lie askew. A UNIT photographer captures the scene of the crime.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Who else knows about this?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: No one - I called you at once.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Shall I call the police sir?
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Yes, just a courtesy call, but tell them we'll handle this ourselves. And I want a full check on all movements in and out of this suite before Cheng Teik's death...and no press - 'D' notice.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Right, sir.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And get the Doctor back from Stangmoor, will you? I want him here.
CAPTAIN MIKE YATES: Yes sir.
(He leaves as the BRIGADIER approaches CHIN LEE.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Now then, Captain, I'd like you to tell me exactly what happened please? In detail.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: My...appointment with the General was for twelve p.m. There was some details to discuss about the conference.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: And you were punctual?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: I am always punctual. I showed my pass to your UNIT sentry...and entered as the clock was striking twelve.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Go on.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: (Slightly nervous.) There is nothing more to tell. I saw the General's body...and phoned you.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Immediately?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: Of course.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: (After a pause.) Excuse me a moment, will you?
(He walks over to CORPORAL BELL.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Oh, Corporal Bell? I'd like you to...
(He turns and sees CHIN LEE listening intently. He lowers his voice.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: I want you to make an exact check on the time of Chin Lee's phone call.
CORPORAL BELL: Right sir.
[SCENE_BREAK]
21: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(The GOVERNOR speaks with the DOCTOR and JO...)
PRISONER GOVERNOR: I am sorry, Doctor. That's my final word. I'll suspend further use of the Keller process. I'll put this room out of bounds - but that's all I can do, without higher authority.
DOCTOR: (With reluctance.) Yes, erm...yes all right. Well, I'd better make this machine safe.
JO: Can I help?
DOCTOR: On my own.
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Is that wise?
DOCTOR: Err, perhaps not.
JO: Well then I...
DOCTOR: (Interrupting.) But I prefer to work that way! Tell me, how long has this machine been installed?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Nearly a year, Emil Keller came over from Switzerland to supervise the installation.
DOCTOR: I see. Did he have an assistant?
PRISONER GOVERNOR: Mmm hmm. A rather attractive Chinese girl...
[SCENE_BREAK]
22: INT. CHINESE DELEGATION'S SUITE
(CORPORAL BELL is on the phone, watched by the BRIGADIER and a very nervous CHIN LEE.)
CORPORAL BELL: (Into phone.) Yes...mmm...yes right, thank you.
(She puts down the phone and passes the BRIGADIER a note.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: Thank you.
(He reads it and approaches CHIN LEE.)
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You telephone me...immediately?
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: Yes...
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: No Captain, you didn't. You telephoned me at exactly twelve-twenty four.
CAPTAIN CHIN LEE: (Nervously.) You...you must be mistaken.
BRIGADIER LETHBRIDGE STEWART: You called me on a security line. All security calls are logged. Well Captain? Why did you wait for nearly half an hour before reporting the crime?
(CHIN LEE looks evasive...)
[SCENE_BREAK]
23: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MEDICAL WING
(In the medical wing, BARNHAM comes round. The waiting orderly sees this and goes and knocks on the door of the side room where SUMMERS is sat at a desk. He gets up and comes over to BARNHAM'S bed. JO enters the room. SUMMERS takes BARNHAM'S wrist and starts to feel his pulse.)
DR. SUMMERS: How do you feel?
BARNHAM: (Somewhat weak.) Fine...fine. Why, have I been ill?
DR. SUMMERS: Yes, but you're all right now.
BARNHAM: Are you a Doctor?
DR. SUMMERS: Mmm hmm. Don't you remember? I'm Doctor Summers. (Smiles.) Just try and rest. You'll be all right.
BARNHAM: Anything you say, Doctor.
(JO and SUMMERS cross the room to where they can talk. SUMMERS starts to write on a clipboard.)
DR. SUMMERS: Well, he...seems fully recovered physically.
JO: And mentally?
DR. SUMMERS: Well, his memory's a bit hazy but it...it's only to be expected.
JO: And has the process harmed him?
DR. SUMMERS: (Thinks.) I...I don't know, Miss Grant.
JO: The Doctor was wondering about Mr. Kettering's medical history?
DR. SUMMERS: Mmm? Oh yes, I've got the, err, post mortem report through there.
JO: What's the verdict?
DR. SUMMERS: Kettering's lungs were full of water. He drowned...in the middle of a perfectly dry room.
[SCENE_BREAK]
24: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MAIN GALLERY
(Once again, the pattern starts to repeat itself. The prisoners start to create a racket from within their cells. The OFFICERS rush round trying to restore calm. GREEN and POWERS confer but their conversation is lost in the noise of the protest.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
25: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(This time, it is the DOCTOR who is in the process theatre. As he works on the control bank, the Keller machine bursts into life. The DOCTOR puts his hand to his head and desperately tries to block out the mental confusion. He turns back to his work on the control bank.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
26: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. MAIN GALLERY
(Outside, the PRISON OFFICERS attempts to quiet the prisoners are futile.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
27: INT. STANGMOOR PRISON. PROCESS THEATRE
(The DOCTOR is desperately pulling leads from the control bank but this seems to have no effect on the Keller machine itself. His face creasing with the mental effort of battling the machine, he staggers over to it but is halted in his tracks when he sees a wall of flame in front of him. Unusually, a look of terror appears on the DOCTOR'S face and he cries out in panic as he starts to try to ward off the ever-increasing inferno...)
|
Plan: A: Stangmoor Prison; Q: Where do the Doctor and Jo go to investigate the Keller Machine? A: the Keller Machine; Q: What is the name of the machine that drains evil impulses from prisoners' minds? A: UNIT; Q: Who is handling security at the first world peace conference? Summary: The Doctor and Jo head to Stangmoor Prison to investigate the Keller Machine, which drains the evil impulses from prisoners' minds, while UNIT are handling security at the first world peace conference.
|
THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG
BY: ROBERT HOLMES
Part Six
Running time: 23:26
[SCENE_BREAK]
LEELA: We must trap them in the crossfire, Doctor. Somewhere in the cover where they cannot find cover.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: What sort of crossfire? Hazelnuts? Bread pellets?
LEELA: In a house this size there must be protection. The professor will have weapons in fixed positions to guard the approaches.
DOCTOR: I brought you to the wrong time, my girl. You'd have loved Agincourt.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: There's a Boot Court near the river, less than a mile from here, look.
DOCTOR: Oh, you let yourself in. That's good. We were expecting you.
WENG: No, Doctor, it was we who were expecting you.
DOCTOR: Life's full of little surprises. What have you done to her?
WENG: Nothing, yet.
DOCTOR: Take my advice. Don't.
WENG: Your advice? Oh, Doctor, you are an unusual man, but in opposing me you have gone far out of your depth. You have taken something from me. I want it back.
DOCTOR: Now I wonder what that could be? I'm always borrowing things from people and then forgetting where I've put them.
DOCTOR: It's a terrible habit.
WENG: I have never appreciated frivolity. It was in that bag. It is not there now. Give it to me!
DOCTOR: What, one of these?
WENG: The time key, Doctor!
DOCTOR: Oh, the time key. Now heavens to Betsy, where did I last see that?
WENG: I'll give you three seconds, Doctor, and then Mister Sin will kill the girl. One, two, three, kill her!
WENG: Stop!
DOCTOR: Is this what you want? The trionic lattice?
WENG: Give it to me!
DOCTOR: Careful, careful. I might have dropped it.
WENG: I'll kill you!
DOCTOR: Crystalline. Probably break into a thousand pieces.
WENG: You arrogant jackanapes!
DOCTOR: When I'm crowded I get nervous. Call your dogs off.
WENG: Back, back.
DOCTOR: That's better.
WENG: Give me that key and I will spare her life.
DOCTOR: Never trust a man with dirty fingernails.
WENG: You can trust me to kill her if you do not immediately put it down! Now obey me at once!
DOCTOR: I tell you what, I'll make a bargain with you. You can have the trionic lattice when we get to the House of the Dragon.
WENG: What trickery is this?
DOCTOR: No trickery. You're holding two others of my friends.
WENG: What of them?
DOCTOR: I want them released.
WENG: Two blundering dolts? Why?
DOCTOR: I doubt if you could understand that, but that's the condition.
WENG: Very well. They're nothing to me.
DOCTOR: Good. Right. Then you and your chaps can lead the way and I'll follow.
WENG: Bring the girl.
DOCTOR: No! The girl stays.
WENG: You would be wise not to press me too far.
DOCTOR: Just lead on.
WENG: Come!
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: What's the matter?
LITEFOOT: I heard something.
JAGO: What sort of thing?
LITEFOOT: People. Quite a group just went by.
JAGO: More Wongs for the Tong, I suppose. Do you realise we've been here over an hour?
LITEFOOT: It'll be dawn soon.
JAGO: What does that signify?
LITEFOOT: I'm not aware that it signifies anything. It's just a remark.
JAGO: I thought perhaps they might do things at dawn.
LITEFOOT: Do things? What sort of things?
JAGO: Well, you know, sacrifice their victims.
LITEFOOT: You're thinking of the Druids, aren't you? I'm not aware the Chinese make a ceremony of it.
JAGO: Oh, good. I don't think I could stomach that. It's been worrying me somewhat.
LITEFOOT: Best not to think about it.
JAGO: I can't help it. Beastly heathens. That's my trouble, Litefoot.
LITEFOOT: What?
JAGO: Well, I'm not awfully. Well, I'm not so bally brave when it comes to it. I try to be but I'm not.
LITEFOOT: When it comes to it, I don't suppose anybody is.
JAGO: Well, I thought I ought to tell you anyway, in case I let the side down.
LITEFOOT: You won't, Henry. I know you won't.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: Fetch the prisoners here.
DOCTOR: Very impressive. I'll have the Bird's Nest Soup.
WENG: What?
DOCTOR: Well, isn't this where you do the cooking?
WENG: How can you understand the functions of a catalytic extraction chamber, Doctor? Part of a technology far beyond your time.
DOCTOR: Simple old-fashioned cannibalism. That machine just saves you having to chew the grisly bits.
WENG: Much more than that. The secret of life.
DOCTOR: Bunkum. Your so-called technology is the twisted lunacy of a scientific dark age.
WENG: What do you know of my time?
DOCTOR: Everything. Where is it?
WENG: What?
DOCTOR: Your pig-faced, pig-brained Peking Homunculus.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG (OOV.): You know of that? How?
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: I was with the Filipino army at the final advance on Reykjavik.
WENG: How can you in the nineteenth century know anything of the fifty first? You lie!
DOCTOR: Listen. What's your name? What were you called before you became a Chinese god?
WENG: I am Magnus Greel!
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, the infamous Minister of Justice. The Butcher of Brisbane.
DOCTOR: Checkmate.
WENG: It is impossible for you to know these things!
DOCTOR: I know you're a wanted criminal and that a hundred thousand deaths can be laid at your door.
WENG: Enemies of the state! They were used in the advancements of science.
DOCTOR: They were slaughtered in your filthy machine.
WENG: So, you are from the future, and I, for all my achievements, are only remembered as a war criminal. Of course, it is the winning side that writes history, Doctor. Remember, you would not be here if it were not for my work.
DOCTOR: Your work?
WENG: Yes! I made this possible. I found the resources, the scientists
DOCTOR: The zigma experiments came to nothing. They were a failure. Nothing came of them.
WENG: No! No, they were a success! Why, I used them to escape from my enemies. The first man to travel through time.
DOCTOR: Hmm. Look what it did to you.
WENG: A temporal distortion of my metabolism. It can be readjusted.
LITEFOOT: Doctor!
DOCTOR: Good morning, gentlemen.
JAGO: By jingo, what did I tell you? The game's up, my friend. We have the place surrounded.
DOCTOR: No, Jago, Jago, Jago. We don't have the place surrounded. We just have an understanding.
JAGO: Understanding?
DOCTOR: Yes.
WENG: I have kept my word, Doctor. Now give me the key.
DOCTOR: Only when they're well clear of this place. Off you go now. Hurry.
LITEFOOT: Doctor, there are two others here. Two wretched girls.
DOCTOR: Then take them with you.
WENG: Your demands are becoming too great!
WENG: Enough! I want him alive.
DOCTOR: Beware the Eye of the Dragon.
LITEFOOT: Doctor, are you hurt?
WENG: Take them out. Get these stinking heaps of rubbish out of here!
WENG: Perfect. Perfect. After all these years the function is unimpaired.
WENG: Everything exactly as it was. The parallax synchrons fully charged, the strata tube set at maximum. He was wrong! Wrong! The zigma experiment was a success!
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: Curious. Double heartbeat. Otherwise everything seems in order.
JAGO: If only we knew what that fiendish device was that struck him down. From behind, mark you.
LITEFOOT: Shush. I think he's trying to say something.
DOCTOR: There's a one-eyed yellow idol to the north of Katmandu. There's a little marble cross below the town.
LITEFOOT: Kipling?
DOCTOR: Harry Champion, 1920.
LITEFOOT: Doctor, are you all right?
DOCTOR: Greel's got the key!
LITEFOOT: Greel?
DOCTOR: How long have I been unconscious?
LITEFOOT: Only a few minutes.
DOCTOR: The broth of oblivion.
JAGO: What's that?
DOCTOR: Chinese soup. He'll be coming for them soon.
LITEFOOT: Well, surely there must be something we can do for them?
DOCTOR: There's always something we can do. Get them over there against the wall. Come on.
JAGO: They're armed to the teeth, those Wong fellows. Knives, guns, everything.
LITEFOOT: Jago's right. Empty handed we can do nothing.
DOCTOR: Excellent. This is good strong linen. It should do fine. Well, don't just stand there wasting time. Get me a bucket of water and break off that gas pipe.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: Almost ready. Yes, time to prepare my two partridges. Why don't you come down from there? Sulking because I wouldn't let you kill the Doctor, is that it?
WENG: Oh, you can kill him soon enough, Sin, but first I must drain every scintilla of his knowledge about the zigma experiment. You can kill him then, and as many more as you wish before we leave. All I need is to re-establish my protenoid balance.
WENG: Then I can enter the zigma beam for the second time. Only this time, there must be no mistake in the programme DNA levels. Now for my two partridges.
LEELA: Die, bent face!
WENG: No, spare me, please!
LEELA: Spawn of evil. Now I destroy you!
WENG: The second time! The second attempt on my life by this she-devil! Hold her still! No. No, I have a better fate for you. She will be the first morsel to feed my regeneration.
LEELA: Kill me any way you wish. Unlike you, I am not afraid to die.
WENG: We shall see. Bring the tigress here.
WENG: At my camps, the extraction process was considered the most painful of all. They pleaded for anything but this.
LEELA: I shall not plead, but I promise you this. When we are both in the great hereafter, I shall hunt you down, Bent Face, and put you through my agony a thousand times!
WENG: Silence the spitfire!
WENG: Now bring the other two hags here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
JAGO: It's leaking. I can smell it.
LITEFOOT: There's bound to be some escape.
DOCTOR: Not enough to worry about.
JAGO: I'm not worried, Doctor. I haven't been worried since you turned up. It's just that I'd hate to be gassed before seeing if this stunt works.
DOCTOR: Well, Greel won't keep us waiting long. He needs his proteinoids.
LITEFOOT: His what?
DOCTOR: He's dying, you see. He's desperate. His body's fading away fast. He's trying to cheat death by substituting certain materials. Do you understand?
LITEFOOT: I think so. The principle, anyway.
DOCTOR: The principle's false, anyhow. All he achieves is a postponement of the inevitable.
JAGO: Shush.
DOCTOR: Lucifers, Professor. Quick, get over there. Now listen, if we do manage to get out of here, don't stop running till you're a mile from this place.
JAGO: Up troops and at 'em, eh, Professor?
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Come on, come on.
DOCTOR: This way.
[SCENE_BREAK]
WENG: Whatever it was, there can be no escape for you. Let the talons of Weng-Chiang shred your flesh!
DOCTOR: Greel!
WENG: Kill, Sin! Kill them!
DOCTOR: Come on, quick. Get down! Get down!
LEELA: I owe you my life, Doctor. Thank you.
JAGO: Time to thank him when we're out of this.
WENG: Doctor, I offer you a proposition.
DOCTOR: Not now, Greel, we're busy.
WENG: I will spare your lives, you and your friends, if you leave now.
DOCTOR: Well, that's very magnanimous of you, Magnus.
WENG: Then get up and leave.
DOCTOR: What, with your trigger-happy little friend out there? No thanks.
WENG: I am offering you your lives, you fools!
DOCTOR: (quietly) We'd be cut down before we reached the door.
LEELA: (quietly) I think so, too. He has no truth in him.
DOCTOR: (quietly) Let's see.
DOCTOR: Ah. We're staying put, Magnus.
WENG: Then you'll die here, all of you.
DOCTOR: Well, you might die first, Magnus. You don't sound too well, and your food supply's half way to Blackheath by now.
WENG: Sin, crack that bench away.
LITEFOOT: If I only had a gun, Doctor.
JAGO: Or a catapult. I was a dab hand with a catapult when I was a nipper.
LITEFOOT: What is that weapon?
DOCTOR: It's a laser beam.
JAGO: It's a death ray.
LEELA: (quietly) Doctor, they're diminishing our cover.
DOCTOR: (quietly) Push it over.
WENG: Hurry, Sin! There is little time left to me.
WENG: No, Sin! You fool, stop! Stop! Obey me, Sin. Obey Greel, your master, I command you.
JAGO: Jiminy, I felt the heat of that one.
JAGO: No chance, my dear.
LEELA: He cannot fire at two objects at once.
JAGO: You mean one of us creates a distraction while you go for the gun?
LEELA: That's right. Me because I'm quicker.
LITEFOOT: Another minute or so and we're done.
JAGO: I say, I say, I say!
JAGO: A funny thing happened to me. Has she got the gun?
LITEFOOT: Hey! Who are you shooting at?
LEELA: Well, I've never fired one of these before.
LITEFOOT: Got them rattled, anyway.
DOCTOR: It's no good, Greel. You're finished.
WENG: I can escape you, Doctor, as I escaped my enemies before.
DOCTOR: Greel, listen. If you activate the zigma beam, it'll be certain death for all of us.
WENG: Lies, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Listen, Greel! Greel, listen! The zigma beam is at full stretch. If you trigger it again, it'll mean certain collapse. You know what that means?
WENG: You can't fool me.
DOCTOR: There'll be a huge implosion, Greel, and you'll be at the centre of it. The zigma experiments were a disaster!
WENG: No, no, the zigma experiment was a success! A brilliant, total success!
WENG: Sin, Sin, what are you doing?
WENG: I order you to. No, no, not me. This is mutiny, Sin.
LEELA: Is Bent Face dead?
LITEFOOT: Why do you call him Bent Face?
LEELA: Because it is. No, don't.
LITEFOOT: Why not?
DOCTOR: Cellular collapse.
LITEFOOT: In all my years as a pathologist, I've never seen anything like it.
DOCTOR: Well, let's hope you never see anything like it again, Professor.
JAGO: But where was he from? Where did he go?
DOCTOR: He was a foe from the future, Henry. Look out, Leela!
JAGO: What's that?
DOCTOR: It's his fuse, Henry.
LEELA: What are you doing, Doctor?
DOCTOR: I'm bringing the zigma experiment to an end.
CRIER (OOV.): Muffins! Get your hot muffins!
DOCTOR: Listen.
CRIER (OOV.): Hot muffins!
DOCTOR: It's the muffin man. Come on, I'll buy you some muffins.
[SCENE_BREAK]
LITEFOOT: And then, for example, I would say 'one lump or two, Miss Leela'. To which you would reply, 'one will suffice, thank you'. Now, do you follow?
LEELA: Supposing I want two?
LITEFOOT: Oh, no, no, no, no. One lump for ladies.
LEELA: Then why do you ask me?
DOCTOR: Come along, Leela.
LEELA: Professor Litefoot has been explaining to me about tea.
DOCTOR: Really?
LEELA: It's very complicated.
DOCTOR: No, it's not complicated at all. All you. Look, I haven't got time to stand here discussing tea. Goodbye, Litefoot.
LITEFOOT: Goodbye, Doctor.
DOCTOR: It's been such fun. Henry.
DOCTOR (OOV.): Yes, the important thing is just warming the pot.
LEELA (OOV.): What pot?
DOCTOR (OOV.): The tea pot.
LITEFOOT: What exactly is that contraption?
JAGO: Well, it's his personal transport. Look, Police.
LITEFOOT: Extraordinary.
JAGO: No doubt Scotland Yard provided it for him.
LITEFOOT: I don't believe it!
JAGO: I've said it before and I'll say it again. Our policemen are wonderful.
LITEFOOT: But it's impossible, Henry. Quite impossible.
JAGO: Good trick, eh? I venture the great Li H'sen Chang himself would have appreciated that.
|
Plan: A: Weng-Chiang; Q: Who is the real face of Magnus Greel? A: their final battle; Q: What do the Doctor, Leela, Jago and Litefoot face? Summary: The real face of Weng-Chiang is revealed as the Doctor, Leela, Jago and Litefoot face their final battle, against both Magnus Greel and a trigger-happy Mr Sin.
|
Elijah (voiceover): My siblings and I are the first vampires in history, the Originals. Three hundred years ago, we helped to build the city of New Orleans. We were happy here, a family. Recently, a coven of witches lured my brother back, using his unborn child as leverage. I tried to help him, but he betrayed me to his enemy, the vampire, Marcel. Since then, I've been held prisoner by a powerful witch. My brother seeks to manipulate others to procure my release. But, I have my own plan. If this witch proves to be an enemy, I will stop her. By whatever means necessary. Davina's Attic - "Why should I trust you?"
[Elijah is standing in the attic, focusing on Davinas pulsing carotid artery. His skin looks very gray as a result of not feeding while he was daggered]
Davina: You're the one they call honorable.
[Elijah smiles]
Elijah: Yes, that's what they call me. And yet, I followed my brother here to New Orleans to engage in a war. So, I ask you: does that sound honorable to you?
Davina: You don't look well.
Elijah: Well, only this morning I had a mystical dagger embedded in my chest, so I'd say I'm holding myself together quite well. [beat] Davina, I believe that you and I have the power to end a war between witches and vampires before it truly begins. I, by keeping my brother in line; you, by behaving like your true self-not some tool for Marcel or the witches.
Davina: And why should I trust you?
Elijah: Well, for one thing, in spite of a ravenous hunger, I have not tried to take your blood.
Davina: Why not? I'm the only one here.
Elijah: Even in my present condition, I would not feed from a child.
[Davina takes a hat pin and pricks her finger with it. A drop of blood clings to the end of the needle, and she places the drop on Elijah's lip. After a moment, Elijah's skin returns to it's normal complexion. Davina looks pleased]
[OPENING CREDITS]
Mikaelson Mansion
[Klaus is pacing in the back kitchen of "Rousseau's." When Sophie comes in with some produce, Klaus grabs her and vamp-runs them back to the Mikaelson Mansion]
Klaus: We had a deal! You protect my unborn child, I dismantle Marcel's army. And whilst I've been busy fulfilling my part of the bargain, you allowed Hayley to be attacked and almost killed by a gaggle of lunatic witches.
Sophie: I had nothing to do with it, I swear. Hayley and I are linked, remember? She dies, I die.
Rebekah: Then who were they?
Sophie: They are a faction of extremists. Sabine stupidly told them about some vision she had about the baby.
Klaus: What kind of vision?
Sophie: She has them all the time. They are totally open to interpretation. I'm guessing she's wrong on this one.
Klaus: Well, how, may I ask, was this particular vision interpreted?
Sophie: Pretty much that your baby would bring death to all witches.
Klaus: Ah, well. I grow fonder of this child by the second.
Rebekah: Sophie, look, I promised Elijah that I would protect the Mikaelson miracle baby whilst he tries to win your witch Davina's loyalty. Why don't you tell me just how extreme this faction is?
Sophie: Elijah's talking to Davina?
Rebekah: Yeah. As we speak, I imagine.
Sophie: I'm guessing she'll have plenty to say about that crowd.
Klaus: Do tell.
Sophie: I... wasn't always an advocate for the witches.
FLASHBACK - 8 MONTHS AGO
[At Rousseau's, Sophie dances to music behind the bar as the crowd cheers]
Sophie: [shouts to crowd] Woo, drink up everybody! This is how they party in Rio! [pours liquor straight into her mouth from the bottle]
Sophie: [present day] My sister was devoted, like our parents, and our upbringing was very strict, which drove me nuts. The minute I turned 21, I left the Quarter to travel... and play. [Flashback Sophie pours alcohol into a girl's mouth and kisses her after she drinks it] But, I wanted to be a chef, so I came back to Rousseau's.
[In flashback, Jane-Anne enters Rousseau's to find her sister]
Sophie: Oh, Jane-Anne! [Jane-Anne smiles and the girls hug]
Jane-Anne: Welcome home, Soph. Can we go some place to talk?
Sophie: Just tell me.
Jane-Anne: The elders called a vote. We're moving forward with the Harvest.
Sophie: [stunned] What?
PRESENT DAY
Rebekah: What the bloody hell is a Harvest?
Sophie: It's a ritual our coven does every three centuries, so that the bond to our ancestral magic is restored. We appease our ancestors, they keep our ancestral power flowing.
Klaus: And why haven't I heard of this?
Sophie: Because a Harvest always seemed like a myth. A story, passed on through generations like Noah's ark, or the Buddha walking on water. The kind some people take literally, and some people don't.
FLASHBACK - HARVEST
[Some young witches are standing and kneeling in a row outside a farmhouse. An older witch, Bastiana, holds a knife]
Bastiana: [makes a small cut on the first girl, Monique's hand] To be reborn, we must sacrifice.
Monique: To be reborn, we must sacrifice.
Bastiana: To be reborn, we must have faith. [cuts the second girl's hand]
Second Girl: To be reborn, we must have faith.
Bastiana: Do you have faith in the Harvest? [cuts the third girl's hand]
[Sophie shows up and approaches the witches]
Sophie: Not for a second!
Monique: Sophie!
Sophie: What are you doing?
Bastiana: Saving the community you renounced.
Sophie: You're all ridiculous. Monique, seriously?
Monique: [reluctantly] My mom told me I had to.
Sophie: Yeah. Well, your mom and I are gonna have words.
[Davina is the last girl in the row, and she watches as Sophie storms away]
PRESENT DAY
Sophie: They had the girls of our community preparing for months. Four would be choosen for the Harvest. They said that it was an honor, that they were special. I thought it was a myth.
Rebekah: Was it?
[Sophie looks guilty, but before she can say anything, Klaus's cell phone rings. He picks it up-it's Marcel.)
Klaus: Marcel. Bit early in the day for you, isn't it?
Marcel: I know, I make this look easy, but I still have an empire to run.
Klaus: Rather you than me. All that responsibility seems like such a bore.
Marcel: Well, this might spice things up. I just heard about a bunch of dead witches out in the bayou. The kinda damage a werewolf might do, only there was no full moon. I have an informant out there I need to meet and I would love for you to go with me.
Klaus: Dead witches in the bayou. Sounds like less of a problem, and more like a cause for celebration.
Marcel: Well, something killed them. And may still be out there. And with your blood the only cure for a werewolf bite, I would love for you to accompany me.
Klaus: Oh, why not? Haven't been to the bayou in ages. I'm on my way.
Marcel: Peace out, brother.
[Marcel hangs up. He is holding a picture of a large house in his hands]
Marcel: [to a woman he is with] This is the one.
MIKAELSON MANSION
Sophie: You can't go out there now. I need to gather the witches' remains and consecrate them. If I don't get to them before sundown, we'll lose the link to their magic.
Klaus: Those witches tried to kill Hayley. I'd prefer for Marcel's informant not to find anything that would lead him back to us, to her, or to... you know, [points at Hayley's stomach] that. Hayley: You are all class.
Klaus: [points at Sophie] Stay put. And save the rest of your story 'til I return.
St. Ann's Church
[Father Kieran is sweeping the church when Marcel enters.]
Father Kieran: Look who's back. Here to visit your prisoner in the attic?
Marcel: Lay off. She's not a prisoner. And I'm moving her tonight. Too many people know where she is.
Father Kieran: I have been hearing about what you've been up to since I've been out of town. Using that girl to keep the witches from doing magic?
Marcel: All respect, Father K. If you're going defend the witches' rights, we got nothin' to talk about.
Davina's Attic
[Davina is drawing while Elijah walks around. He holds Tim's damaged violin in his hand]
Elijah: Do you play? Davina: That's... not mine.
[Elijah sits in a chair and tinkers with the violin for a moment, until Marcel's steps can be heard from outside the room. When he enters, Elijah has hidden himself away]
Marcel: Good news, Little D. I'm moving you out this pile of dust.
Davina: Are you serious? When? Marcel: Tonight. I just need to lock in the arrangements. How's our Original? [gestures to Elijah's coffin]
Davina: Uh, don't disturb the body! I have a spell in progress.
Marcel: Bet you do. Pack up, 'kay? Only what you wanna take. I'll buy ya anything else you need.
Davina: Okay.
[Marcel leaves the attic. Elijah appears from behind a corner]
Elijah: You didn't reveal that I was awake. Davina: We're not done talking yet.
[Elijah picks up the violin again and sits down]
Elijah: You and Marcel seem very close.
Davina: Marcel's my family.
Elijah: And yet Marcel is someone who delights in harming the witches. Those people, I would think, you would consider family. This doesn't trouble you?
Davina: No. They deserve it.
Elijah: Why would you say that?
Davina: 'Cause they're liars. All of them.
[Return to the flashback of the young witches and the elder witches by the farmhouse. The girls still kneel in a row, and Bastiana touches four of the girls' foreheads to indicate who has been chosen. Monique, Davina, and two other girls were chosen for the Harvest]
Davina: (voiceover) They made me and my friends do this Harvest ritual. They said our participation would bring our family strength, health... that we'd forever be celebrated as saviors of the community. But all they really wanted was more power. So, I left before they could get it. Now, they're running out of time, because after the Harvest, comes the Reaping. And if they don't complete the Harvest, there won't be a Reaping. Soon, all the witches in the Quarter will start to lose their power. Eventually, they will cease to be witches altogether. Elijah: So what does it take to complete this ritual?
Davina: I have to die.
[Elijah is shocked by this revelation]
Lafayette Cemetery
[Sophie is in the cemetery, packing a little bottle into her backpack, when Hayley enters the mausoleum]
Sophie: Hey. What the hell?
Hayley: You're going out there anyway, aren't you? I wanna go with you.
Sophie: No, thanks. Already got assaulted by Klaus this morning. Don't need a repeat.
Hayley: What if whatever is responsible for all those dead witches is still out there? We've already established that it likes me and hates witches, so you'll be safer with me.
Sophie: Sorry if I'm not buying your sudden concern for my safety.
[Hayley blocks the exit, forcing Sophie to stop.]
Hayley: Listen. The whole reason I came to this stupid town in the first place was to learn more about my family. Your sister's the one that told me Marcel ran the werewolves out of the Quarter, into the bayou. And, last night, I'm pretty sure that some guardian-angel-wolf saved my life. So, I'm coming with you.
[Rebekah walks in to the mausoleum and joins the girls]
Rebekah: Could you two be more idiotic?
[Hayley and Sophie both look around at each other and sigh]
Rebekah: Two can play the follow-game, you know! You heard Klaus, he and Marcel are headed right where you're going.
Hayley: So distract them. Because unless you wanna see lock a hormonal, pregnant werewolf in a tomb, I'm coming with you. And wouldn't Elijah be mad if he hears that the baby and I died of asphyxiation?
[Rebekah stares at her, annoyed. Sophie rolls her eyes and sighs again, resigned to having Hayley and Rebekah tag along]
Big Auggie's Bayou Bar
[Klaus is standing in front of the bar, phoning Rebekah]
Klaus: What's the matter Rebekah? You cross that I'm out with your ex?
Rebekah: What is all that dreadful hillbilly ruckus in the background?
Klaus: According to the dreadful signage, it's Big Auggie's Bayou Bar.
Rebekah: Well, order up a few rounds of moonshine and steer clear of the dead witches for a few. The witch is on a burial mission, your baby mama is on a spirit quest, and I'm keeping Elijah's promise to keep her safe, so stall, please?
[Rebekah hangs up the phone. Klaus, who is angry and annoyed, enters the bar]
Marcel: Everything okay?
Klaus: Oh, just the usual. Temperamental sister. So, where's your informant?
Marcel: Tomas? He's out sniffin' around. Grab a drink, and then we'll chase him down. Klaus: Well, I suppose it will give us a chance to talk things over, like why you haven't returned Elijah. Maybe your young witch has grown partial to his company. She must get so bored.
Marcel: You never stop, do you?
Klaus: You never answer, do you?
Marcel: Why're you so curious about Davina?
Klaus: If I had a 16-year-old, all-powerful witch at my beck and call, you would wonder about her, too.
Marcel: You're never gonna get her.
Klaus: Okay, okay. I'll ask the harmless questions, then. How did you meet her?
Marcel: [laughs] That might surprise you. This was eight months ago, before I banned the witches from using magic. Relations between vampires and witches weren't what you'd you call friendly, by any means, but let's just say we were a little less... divided. In fact, some of us were getting along just fine.
FLASHBACK
[Sophie Deveraux and Marcel are taking a shower together, making out with each other and presumably having s*x. Afterward, Marcel lies in his bed, while Sophie dries herself off beside him]
Sophie: Ugh, it's so screwed up, I'm dealing with whacked-out, militant witches.
Marcel: [smiling] Hey, you witches all got a little crazy in you.
Sophie: And my sister has really gone off the deep-end this time.
Marcel: Jane-Anne's got martyr written all over her, that's for sure.
Sophie: They've got every 16-year-old girl in our coven dying to be one of the four chosen for this crazy-ass ritual.
Marcel: Anything I can do to help? Sophie: No, you've caused enough trouble with them. Marcel: What, little old me?
Sophie: [giggles] You're a dick. You always stir it up with the witches. Which is why this [kisses him] stays between us. [kisses him deeply]
PRESENT DAY
Klaus: You and Sophie? You hypocrite. You torture those witches, and yet there you were, getting positively Romeo and Juliet with Sophie Deveraux.
Marcel: Oh, hey hey hey, it wasn't like that. It was a... mutually satisfying hook-up.
Klaus: So, if Sophie didn't turn to you, her secret vampire lover, in her hour of need, what did she do?
Marcel: She did what any good girl do. She went to her priest.
FLASHBACK
[Sophie, Father Kieran, Jane-Anne, Bastiana and Agnes are in the St. Anne's Church]
Bastiana: You've never cared about witch business, Sophie. And now, you have the gall to reveal our private dealings to an outsider.
Father Kieran: You have to find another way.
Bastiana: You think we do this lightly? The vampire presence in the Quarter is growing stronger, we need more power to fight them off. Harsh times call for harsh measures.
Sophie: This is a little more than harsh, Bastiana.
Jane-Anne: [to Sophie] You don't understand, because you don't believe. You've never believed. But I believe enough to put everything on the line for this. And being chosen for the offering - it's an honor.
Sophie: It's a myth, Jane-Anne.
Father Kieran: What you are planning to do is not only wrong; in my city, it's illegal.
Jane-Anne: In your city full of vampires? Father Kieran: The vampires and the human faction have an arrangement, just like we have with you all. Protect the locals, protect our homes, we look the other way. What you are planning goes too far.
Bastiana: We are simply taking what we need. Our connection to our ancestors weakens over time. You sow, and you reap; that's the way the Harvest works.
Father Kieran: I am the only ally the witches have in this town! Do you really wanna face Marcel without me? Because that is what you'll be dealing with if you go through with the Harvest.
[Sean O'Connell hears the argument and comes out to investigate]
Sean: Everything okay in here, Uncle Kieran?
Father Kieran: We're just finishing, Sean. Right? [glares at the witches] I believe I've made myself clear.
Agnes: We'll take this matter to the elders. [turns to Sean and grasps his hand in hers] Continue your studies, Sean. Your uncle is an excellent role model. [smiles]
[Sean nods, and as Agnes turns to leave, she mutters a hex under her breath]
PRESENT DAY
Marcel: The witches were furious with Kieran. Sophie tells me that the witches put a hex on his nephew Sean, made it seem like he was slowly losing his mind in order to distract Kieran, while they kept planning for the Harvest.
Klaus: [angry] So they attacked Kieran's nephew.
Marcel: Yeah. Kid wasn't the same after that, ended up going postal, killing all his fellow seminary students, all of them, and then himself.
Klaus: I might have read about that. The boy... killed a twin, or he was a twin or something.
Marcel: Ah, no no no, they said he had a twin sister.
[Marcel sips his liquor, while Klaus downs all of his in one gulp, obviously angered at learning that the witches hexed Cami's brother into killing all of those people]
Davina's attic
[Elijah is still fiddling around with the violin as Davina packs her suitcase]
Elijah: So, enlighten me. What did you mean when you said you had to die?
Davina: That's was the Harvest was. They said they'd put us four girls in a state of, like, peaceful limbo as part of the offering. And then later, at the Reaping, we'd awaken and be reborn. I never got as far as the limbo part, which means the Harvest isn't complete. That's why the witches are so freaked out. The Reaping is just around the corner, and if they don't finish it before then, it's over. All I have to do is wait it out.
Elijah: And then what?
Davina: They're punished, and I'm free.
Elijah: From Marcel?
Davina: Of magic. All our power will drain away. I'll be normal.
[Davina smiles slightly]
Elijah: Is that what you want? To be normal?
Davina: I just don't wanna be what I am. I can't control it sometimes. Magic. I... [tears up] hurt people. Even when I don't mean to.
Elijah: Why don't you tell me about your friends. You must miss them.
Davina: There's Tim. He doesn't know about any of this witch stuff. He's normal. My best friend, Monique. She was a part of the Harvest too. She's lucky. No one ever fought for me, but someone fought for her. The only one who ever spoke out against the Harvest was Monique's aunt.
Elijah: And who is that?
Davina: [sighs] Sophie Deveraux.
[Elijah continues to look shocked about what he is learning]
[SCENE_BREAK]
The Bayou
[Sophie, Rebekah and Hayley continue to walk around the Bayou to look for the dead witches]
Rebekah: So, this Harvest thingy-tell me more.
Sophie: Klaus said to wait. Rebekah: Yes. He also said to stay out of the bayou and yet here we are, amongst the crawly, buzzy creatures.
Hayley: We're here.
[They have reached the place where the witches were killed. They're all bloodied and ripped apart, and a dismembered head lies near the bodies. Sophie, who looks sick, kneels down to dig around her bag for the ingredients she needs to consecrate her fellow witches]
Hayley: Whoa.
[Hayley sees a huge pawprint in the mud. In a nearby tree, there are three bloody scratches in the bark]
Sophie: Is that a wolf track?
[They hear a crunching noise, like footsteps, nearby]
Rebekah: [calls out] Who's there?
[The person approaching them is a male vampire - Marcel's informant, Tomas]
Thomas: What the hell? An Original?
[He runs away with vampire speed, leaving the girls standing and gaping]
[Klaus walks outside of Big Auggie's Bayou Bar as he talks to Rebekah on his cell phone]
Klaus: Let me understand this: against all logic, you and Hayley went to the bayou, where you ran into a man you think may be Marcel's informant, and then you lost him?
Rebekah: Yes, and now that we've established that I am a failure as a sister, and a friend, and an Original, you should probably know he's on his way to Marcel right now to rat me out. Skinny guy in a hurry, looks like he saw a ghost.
Klaus: I'll handle it, but I'll need a distraction. [smiles]
Rebekah: I'm on my way.
[She hangs up, and swats at a mosquito that has landed on her arm. Klaus enters the bar again.]
Marcel: Your sister again?
Klaus: She craves attention. So come along, you were just getting to the juicy bits.
Marcel: I can't joke around about this. I've done a lot in my day, but I do have a rule about kids.
[The story about the Harvest continues as Marcel tells it to Klaus, and Davina tells it to Elijah. The scenes alternate between the two storytellers, as well as flashback sequences.]
DAVINA'S ATTIC
Davina: No one but Sophie ever questioned the Harvest. Not even my own mother. So neither did I. We thought it was such an honor, we had such faith. We were so stupid.
Elijah: So how did it begin?
Davina: We were led out like princesses. My mother was so proud.
FLASHBACK
[It's night now, and the four girls are led into the Lafayette Cemetery by the elders to start the Harvest. There are birdbaths with liquid that is lit on fire burning around them]
Bastiana: Our magic fades as our ties to our ancestors weaken over time. We beseech them, accept this offering as a sign of our faith.
[The girls kneel in a row in the middle of the crowd of people]
DAVINA'S ATTIC
Davina: Bastiana, one of the Elders, called upon the four elements to bind our past and future magic together. Earth, to connect us to our ancestors. Water, to heal the community. Wind, to carry us to our ancestors and back. Fire, to purify. After all our preperation, we knew exactly what to expect. For weeks they told us that the magic in the knife they used to cut our palms would put us to sleep, and that later at the Reaping, we would all be resurrected. They said we'd awaken, and all be together and more powerful than ever. And it was just like we rehearsed it. All that was left was a little cut on our palms for the blood sacrifice.
FLASHBACK
[The first girl stands up to begin the Harvest, but is interrupted when Sophie runs into the cemetery]
Sophie: No! Stop! Bastiana, stop! You have to stop, Bastiana, please don't do this!
[A male witch wraps his arms around Sophie to restrain her, and covers her mouth with his hand so she can't intervene or scream anymore]
Davina: [voiceover] Even after Sophie tried to stop it, we didn't suspect anything.
Bastiana: To be born, you must sacrifice. Do you have faith?
[The girl nods in response, and holds out her hand for the blood sacrifice. Instead, Bastiana slits the girl's throat, and the young witch falls to the ground. The other three girls start to scream in terror, but they're also restrained so that they can't run away. Davina's mother stares straight ahead as her daughter screams]
DAVINA'S ATTIC
Elijah: Everyone involved in the ritual knew that this would happen.
Davina: Except the four of us. They weren't putting us to sleep, they were slaughtering us!
FLASHBACK
[The next witch is pushed forward, and Bastiana slashes her throat with the knife as well, despite her protests]
Davina: No, no!
Bastiana: Monique Deveraux.
Davina: NO, NO, NOOO!
[A man forces Monique forward to be sacrificed next]
Davina: [voiceover] I begged for someone to help. My own mother turned away from me. Sophie screamed and screamed for her sister, anyone, to do something.
Sophie: What is wrong with you!?
[Jane-Anne looks worried, but does nothing]
DAVINA'S ATTIC
Davina: But no one did. Elijah: And yet you survived. Therefore, someone or something intervened.
[Davina nods]
Davina: Yes. Someone finally did.
FLASHBACK
Sophie: Monique, run away! Run away!
[A shrill whistle can be heard, and a group of vampires, led by Marcel, infiltrates the cemetery and they start killing the witches]
Sophie: Marcel.
BIG AUGGIE'S BAYOU BAR
Klaus: You're the one who stopped it.
Marcel: Kieran knew every detail from Sophie. After his nephew's massacre in the church, he was so torn up. He left town just before the Harvest. But on his way out, he came to me, and he asked me to stop the Harvest. He knew I didn't want the witches getting any more power. And I do have a rule about people abusing kids, so, I did what he asked. But I was too late.
FLASHBACK
[The vampires are still attacking the Elders. A vampire bites Bastiana and feeds on her until she dies, and when her body falls to the ground, so does the magic knife in her hand. Another vampire bites and kills Davina's mom. Agnes picks up the knife from the ground, and grabs Monique and slits her throat with it. Davina screams, hysterical and trying to break free.]
Davina: No, Monique! Nooo! Let go of me! Stop it! Stop it! Let go of me! Stop it!
[Davina fights against the guy holding her. Marcel watches her fight against him as she headbutts the guy in the face, so Marcel kills the man and grabs Davina protectively]
Marcel: I got you.
BIG AUGGIE'S BAYOU BAR
Marcel: There was something about seeing Davina fight. She didn't just go along to the slaughter, you know?
Klaus: [smiles slightly] I do... Marcellus. Marcel: [somberly] I felt like she and I... we were kindred spirits.
FLASHBACK
[Marcel is still holding Davina, while Sophie kneels on the ground, holding Monique's body in her lap. Sophie looks up at Marcel and Davina, and Davina holds her hand out toward Monique. A light inside Monique leaks out of her body, and into Davina's outstretched hand, and Sophie and Marcel stare at her in amazement]
DAVINA'S ATTIC
Davina: Every girl who died released her power on to the next. When I was the last one, I suddenly had all of it, all the power that was supposed to be released back into the earth to appease our ancestors.
Elijah: So... the Harvest was actually working?
Davina: Something was working. And I knew that I was supposed to be killed so the Harvest could be completed and we would all be resurrected. But, they lied to us about how they were killing us. How do I know they weren't lying to us about coming back? [beat] But mostly, I just didn't want to die. So, I let him save me. Marcel saved my life.
[In the flashback, Marcel sees the surprised look on Sophie's face, and vamp-runs himself and Davina away before she could get hurt. In the present, Elijah looks disgusted by how Davina was treated, and feels sympathy for her]
Big Auggie's Bayou Bar
Klaus: You were quite the knight in shining armor, though Davina must realise you owe her as much as she owes you. You never could have banned the witches from using magic without her.
Marcel: She's not exactly besties with them. I'm protecting her. A lot of them would like to get their hands on her and kill her to finish the Harvest. If they don't, the other girls stay dead, and they lose their power.
Klaus: And if they you do, you lose yours. Marcel: And Davina loses her life.
[Rebekah shows up and joins them]
Rebekah: Isn't this like old times? Just how drunk are you two?
Klaus: [fakes slurring his words] Skating on the razor's edge. I'm gonna use the loo. Back in a tick.
Rebekah: I haven't seen him this lushy since the '20s. Marcel: So you came to take him home?
Rebekah: Why else would I be here?
Marcel: I don't know. Maybe to make sure I didn't get too drunk and spill secrets better left unspilled about you and me. I know better.
Rebekah: I hope so, because you don't wanna end up on the wrong side of me.
Marcel: Oh, Rebekah Mikaelson. You do not wanna be on the wrong side of me.
[The two stare at each other intently]
OUTSIDE OF THE BAR
[Klaus walks outside and sees Tomas, who has just returned from the bayou]
Klaus: Tomas, I presume. Marcel asked me to find out what you know about the dead witches.
Tomas: I heard they were going after some pregnant werewolf. She was stupid, being out there all alone.
Klaus: Yeah, she was, wasn't she, yes? It's amazing how gullible some people can be.
[Klaus chuckles and snaps the vampire's neck]
[Elijah proudly holds up Tim's violin]
Elijah: You may return this now to its rightful owner. It's restored.
[Davina takes the instrument and stares at it sadly]
Davina: I don't even know if I'll see him again.
[The room starts to shake, as if they're in an earthquake. Elijah and Davina look around worriedly, and the window shutters burst open as the shaking stops]
Elijah: Davina, this power that you contain, drawn from your fallen friends-it's too much for you. You need control, which requires study and practice. Now, my mother was a very powerful witch. She left behind her grimoires, a legacy of books filled with spells. These books contain all of the tools that you might need to control your magic. If you free me from here, I can share them with you. However, if you leave now with Marcel, we'll never see each other again, and I cannot find you, and I can't help you.
Davina: The witches manipulated me. You know how that ended.
Elijah: This is not manipulation. This is one thing in exchange for another. I'm offering you a deal.
[Klaus enters the bar again. Marcel is gone; Rebekah returns to the bar from the restroom.]
Klaus: That was fast work, Rebekah. Where's Marcel? In there, touching up his lipstick?
Rebekah: Credit me with some taste, it's filthy in there. Where'd he go. Klaus: He didn't tell you he was leaving?
Rebekah: No. Do you think he realized we were stalling him?
Klaus: No. Unless... he was stalling us.
[Marcel bursts into Davina's room. Elijah is hiding in his coffin]
Marcel: Okay, now's our shot. You ready to blow this joint?
Davina: [smiles] Can't wait.
[Marcel grabs Davina's suitcase and the two get ready to leave the room]
Marcel: We'll leave Elijah behind as a parting gift. Might buy me a little forgiveness for pulling one over on his siblings. Let's go.
[The two leave the attic, though Davina gives her room a final parting glance before she goes. When the two of them are out of earshot, Elijah pulls himself out of his coffin. Downstairs, Marcel walks ahead of Davina. She stops suddenly in the middle of the church's main room, and he turns to look at her]
Marcel: What's wrong? What's happening?
[The church starts shaking, and Davina's body tenses up as her body starts to spasm]
Davina: I don't know. Something's wrong.
[Marcel runs up to Davina to help her]
Davina: Marcel. There's something dangerous out there. Take me back!
[Davina passes out, and Marcel catches her]
Marcel: Damn it.
[He picks her up and carries her back to her room. Upstairs, Elijah waits in the doorway and smiles. He has hidden by the time Marcel brings her back up to her room and puts her into her bed. He tucks her in under her blankets, and after looking at her for a moment, he takes his leave. Once he's gone, Davina opens her eyes and lifts her head]
FLASHBACK
[Marcel and Davina enter the attic room for the first time]
Marcel: No one's gonna look for you here. It's only for a little while, 'til I get you out of town and some place safe. For now I can get you whatever you want. What do you like to do?
Davina: [whispers nervously] Draw.
Marcel: An artist, huh? That's cool, okay. I can buy out Vincent's for you tomorrow. Maybe get you some curtains, or-
Davina: Marcel? You know what I really want? [beat] I wanna make them pay.
(Marcel nods.)
PRESENT DAY
[Davina sits up in bed]
Davina: [calls out] Elijah?
Elijah: [comes out of hiding] I'm pleased you stayed.
Davina: You'll keep your promise about your mother's spell book?
Elijah: I will. You know, difficulties aside, I value my family above everything. I am sorry that yours failed you.
Davina: Your brother Klaus handed you to Marcel in a box, yet you still don't give up on him?
Elijah: Well, I've given up on giving up. It's an affliction. I will fight for my family until my last breath.
Davina: And I'll fight the witches until mine.
St. Anne's Church
Father Kieran: Now what? You just gonna leave her up there for anybody to find?
Marcel: I'm not in the mood, Kieran.
Father Kieran: You were supposed to get her out of New Orleans after the Harvest. We failed those other three girls, we didn't fail her. That is why I came to you for help. That was the plan.
Marcel: Plans change.
Father Kieran: Especially after you found out how powerful she was.
Marcel: Let's get something straight. For eight months since you left, I've been running this town just fine. I don't need you coming back and gettin' in my business. I will do what I want, where I want. Got it?
Father Kieran: You wanna be the boss? You wanna call the shots? Fine. But I call the shots with the humans. And you don't wanna make an enemy of me. So, I would suggest one thing-stay away from my niece.
Marcel: Fine. Who the hell's your niece?
Father Kieran: Cami.
[Marcel stops in his tracks and considers this news for a moment, before huffing in frustration and leaving]
[It's night now, and Hayley and Sophie are returning to Sophie's truck]
Hayley: Those people, all this, because of a vision about my baby you don't think is true?
Sophie: Look, I love Sabine, but she's the witch equivalent of a drama queen. I've learned to take little stock in whatever she says or sees. Just kinda wish she'd kept her mouth shut.
Hayley: The Harvest ritual. You said you didn't believe in it. Were you right?
Sophie: No. I saw it with my own eyes. It was working. It was real.
Hayley: So, how can you be so sure Sabine's vision isn't?
[Sophie doesn't have an answer]
Outside the Abattoir
[Marcel walks into the courtyard where Klaus is waiting for him up on the top of a cement barrier]
Klaus: Taking me on a field trip to distract me. Pathetic. And obvious-I taught you better than that.
Marcel: You taught me to protect what's mine. You will not take Davina from me-end of story.
Klaus: An immutable law of nature, Marcel, is the strong always take from the weak.
Marcel: Oh, if you were so strong, you wouldn't have run away from New Orleans like a little bitch, all those years ago.
[Klaus jumps down from where he was standing and punches down on Marcel]
Klaus: You've been playing king with a bunch of children for too long. Don't mistake me for one of your nightwalker lackeys, Marcel. I can take Davina anytime I like.
[Marcel lunges for Klaus, but he's knocked back down by Elijah, who has appeared out of nowhere]
Elijah: Do forgive me, Marcel. If anyone is to teach my brother a lesson... it's me.
[Klaus stares in shock at his brother, and doesn't seem too pleased to see him]
Mikaelson Mansion
[Rebekah pours several drinks as she talks to Hayley]
Rebekah: I don't care if we have to get you a leash, that was your last trip to the bayou. What is it with you and those wolves, anyway?
Hayley: I feel like we're connected somehow. I don't know. Maybe it's just some pipe dream that I have of finding any real family out there. But sometimes, when I feel like it's me against the world, it keeps me going.
[Rebekah gives Hayley a sympathetic look and hands her a drink. Hayley side-eyes her, and Rebekah suddenly remembers that Hayley is pregnant and can't drink, so she drinks Hayley's glass in one gulp, and then drinks her own]
Rebekah: Oh, right. Well, if you ask me, family is a pain in the behind.
[Hayley rolls her eyes]
Rebekah: And as for being in it alone, how dare you? I don't ruin a perfectly fabulous pair of boots traipsing through the bayou for just anyone.
[Hayley smiles, and Rebekah downs her second drink. Their conversation is interrupted by Klaus walking through the front door]
Rebekah: Nik, finally. What-
[Elijah walks through the door after his brother with a huge smile. Rebekah runs to Elijah and hugs him tight. Elijah sees Hayley over Rebekah's shoulder, and they smile at each other, though Hayley leaves the room right after]
Rebekah: Elijah! You're safe! Now that you're home, is your first plan to kill Niklaus?
Elijah: [smiles] Excuse me, just a moment.
Rebekah: Where's he going?
[Elijah walks out the back door to find Hayley, who is standing on the back patio]
Hayley: You're back.
Elijah: I'm back.
[The two look at each other for a moment, and then Hayley slaps him in the face]
Hayley: Don't make promises you can't keep. Welcome home.
[Elijah touches his face where she slapped him, and smiles to himself]
Mikaelson Mansion
[The Mikaelson siblings and Hayley sit in the study, where Elijah stands behind the desk and explains everything that he has learned from Davina that day]
Elijah: Everything that brought us here to New Orleans was a lie. This story that Sophie Deveraux fabricated, this struggle for control of the French Quarter, this war between vampires and witches, wasn't over territory at all, this was over Davina.
FLASHBACK
[In the back room of Rousseau's, Jane-Anne and Sophie are both sobbing and arguing]
Sophie: I swear, I had no idea that the Harvest could possibly be real!
Jane-Anne: But the one thing that you were sure of is that I was wrong, and that I would risk Monique's life on a maybe. And now my daughter is dead.
Sophie: Please tell me how to fix this.
Jane-Anne: Now that Marcel has Davina, how we are even supposed to find her? If we don't finish the Harvest, Monique and those two other girls are dead for real.
[Sophie steps toward her sister and grabs her hands]
Sophie: Look at me. You and I are gonna find a way to get Monique back. It'll be our little secret. We'll do it together. I'll seal off the cemetery from the vampires, find Davina, stop Marcel and finish the ritual once and for all. Even if I have to slit Davina's throat myself.
PRESENT DAY
Elijah: Eight months ago, Sophie Deveraux and her sister Jane-Anne lost everything. Now, four months after that, a young pregnant girl wanders into their restaurant. Suddenly, all hope is renewed. Jane-Anne actually sacrificed her life so that her sister can use you to find Davina. If Sophie Deveraux is successful in capturing Davina, she can return Jane-Anne's daughter back to life. We thought we'd come here to wage a war for power. This is about family. In order to return her niece to life, Sophie Deveraux will fight to the death. That makes her more dangerous than anyone.
[As they speak, Sophie kneels in front of Jane-Anne's grave at Lafayette Cemetery in the pouring rain, crying]
|
Plan: A: Klaus; Q: Who demands answers from Sophie? A: the Harvest; Q: What is the name of the ritual that Sophie reveals to Klaus and Rebekah? A: Harvest; Q: What is the name of the ritual that Sophie's coven would perform? A: Sophia's cousin; Q: Who was one of the witches to be killed? A: the earth; Q: Where would the power of the witches be transformed? A: Marcel; Q: Who asks Klaus to accompany him to the bayou? A: Hayley; Q: Who was attacked by witches? A: the witches origins; Q: What do Rebekah, Sophie, and Hayley set off to find? A: the witches; Q: Who did Davina reveal shocking information about? A: an unexpected ally; Q: Who does Davina confide in? A: a disturbing revelation; Q: What does Davina's information lead to? Summary: Angered by recent events involving the safety of his unborn baby, Klaus demands answers from Sophie, believing she was involved. Sophie reveals to Klaus and Rebekah a troubling secret from her past that her coven would conduct a ritual known as the Harvest where four young witches (one of which was Sophia's cousin as well as Davina) would be ritually killed with their throats cut and their power to be transformed to the earth and their bodies resurrected. Meanwhile, Marcel asks Klaus to accompany him to the bayou after gruesome remains of witches who attacked Hayley are discovered, while Rebekah, Sophie and Hayley set off on a mission of their own to find the witches origins. Elsewhere, Davina confides in an unexpected ally and reveals shocking information about the witches, ultimately leading to a disturbing revelation.
|
[It's tough work being a superhero. Like any other job, there are good days and there are bad days. And then there are the really, really bad days. Brian is having one of those right now. Vic the Evil Scientist has him strapped to a table with a giant raygun aimed right at his crotch. Vic is laughing demonically.]
Vic: Isn't this fun?
Brian: Maybe for you but that's because you're a sadistic sh1t!
Vic: Who, me?
Brian: I'll never tell you where the jewels are!
Vic: Make that jew-el! Who knows? If you're lucky, you might even get a few more good years. Like me!
[He blasts the rays. Brian screams in agony. What's worse, the nightmare or the reality? Brian is lying on an examining table wearing one of those horrible blue hospital gowns. Evil Uncle Vic has been replaced by a nurse. The ray gun has been replaced by a radiation machine.]
Nurse: Mr.Kinney? Mr.Kinney! That's it for today. We'll see you again tomorrow. (She helps Brian up to a sitting position). And I should warn you. You'll feel fine for the next few hours but you're gonna hit a wall around noon. Nausea, pain, fatigue. They're all normal side effects. In fact, I would suggest that for the next few days, you just stay home. Take it easy. Don't go to work.
Brian: Thank you, nurse! That's excellent advice!
[Which he has no intention of following.]
[Hunter has found something more interesting to read than Catcher in the f*cking Rye: a California guidebook.]
Hunter: First thing we do when we get to Hollywood is go to Universal Studios. The rides sound awesome. And then we do the Graveline Tour. It takes you to all the places where stars have been murdered! And then-
Michael: And then we go to Grauman's Chinese Theatre and we steal John Wayne's footprints.
[Hunter looks at him blankly.]
Michael: Lucy? I Love Lucy? Going to Hollywood and - never mind. Could you save me some cereal?
Ben: Aren't you being a bit premature?
Hunter: Why? We're going, aren't we? You said Brett told you it was a done deal.
Michael: That's Mr. Keller to you and nothing's a done deal until it's done.
Ben: I'm done.
[He grabs his jacket.]
Michael: So, busy day?
Ben: Oh, classes, research at the library, student advisory meetings. I'm also supposed to hear from Greenpoint Press.
Michael: They interested in your novel?
Ben: Mmm - let's just say the editor seemed receptive, which at least is better than another rejection. Keep your fingers crossed.
[He's out the door.]
Hunter: He should try to eat some grain in the morning instead of those crappy shakes. He'd be a lot happier. Not to mention regular.
Michael: I think it's gonna take more than a bowl of bran. And you could try and be a little more sensitive.
Hunter: Huh?
Michael: "Huh?" Ben is going through a tough time right now. I'm sure all this talk isn't making it any easier. So from now on, let's try not to use the word Hollywood in a sentence.
[Brian gets a little surprise when he arrives at Kinnetik: Justin is there waiting for him.]
Brian: What the f*ck are you doing here?
Justin: I'm waiting for you. You won't answer the door, you won't return my calls -
Brian: Well, that should be a hint!
Justin: Why won't you see me?
Brian: Cynthia! Cynthia!
[Cynthia comes running in.]
Cynthia: Jesus, Brian, what's going on?
Justin: You can't just kick me out.
Brian: Watch me. (To Cynthia) I don't want his calls, I don't want him in this office and if he comes near me I want a restraining order. Got it?
[Cynthia just stares at him like he's gone insane.]
Brian: And if some asshole named Vic Grassi calls from Hell, you can tell him I'm in a meeting.
[Justin leaves.]
[Emmett's with Debbie at the cemetery. It has snowing. The snow hide Vic's headstone. Deb wipe off.]
Debbie: Well, Vic, it's not quite the headstone I'd originally intended.
Emmett: But as you may have heard, Michaelangelo's not taking any more commissions.
Debbie: But it's solid. It' s hard, smooth - Come to think of it, that's a lot of the attributes you liked in a man!
[Em's cell rings.]
Emmett: Uh, whoever use a cell phone with vibration it shakes you out. Excuse me.
Debbie: Yeah, don't worry, honey. We aren't in a hurry.
[Emmett leaves.]
Debbie: So, I planned flowers. And Vic, I just want to say whereever you are... of course I know where you are. You're in heaven, where the hell are you else? That, uh that take disput and yell beside, I love you. Always. You know that baby, aren't you?
[Emmett speaks at the cell phone.]
Emmett: Arested?
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] And I hope you forgave me for that I did.
Emmett: [to cell phone] What did you do? DUI?! How the hell we are go to the party tonight?
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] And that's all because this silly party.
Emmett: [to cell phone] No, I cannot recomment a attorney. I left you in those shaft.
Debbie: [to Vic's grave] Rest in peace, little brother.
Emmett: [to cell phone] Brathe in hell, you little fucker! [he hangs up. he comes back] Oh, well, well Vic, why you have to die?
Debbie: I know honey. We know he's in a better place.
[At the diner, Lindsay, Mel and Michael coo over Mel's sonogram.]
Lindsay: It's a warm and wonderful place, filled with love and possibilities.
Mel: You'll have to forgive my wife. She tends to wax poetic in direct proportion to the size of my tummy.
Lindsay: Oh, c'mon. You've done your fair share of waxing yourself.
Mel: I've never once waxed. And even if I did, our paltry expressions would pale in comparison to Michael's rhapsodizing.
Michael: sh1t. Will you check out the dick on this kid?!
Mel: Or not.
Lindsay: That's the umbilical cord.
Mel: And besides, you can't tell from this whether it's a boy or a girl. Although something tells me a princess is on the way.
Michael: Well, it's OK with me if he's gay.
Lindsay: I gotta run. We're installing the Auerbach show.
Michael: Don't forget Lamaze.
Lindsay: Do you think we could move it?
Michael: Hey, why don't I go?
Lindsay: You?
Michael: Is it a class for lesbian mothers? I won't shave my legs! No one will notice.
Lindsay: No, of course not.
Michael: Good. Then it'll serve as a general reminder that until someone comes up with a better plan, you still need a man for some things.
[Justin walks by.]
Michael: Hey, where have you been? I need those panels so I can come up with some dialogue for the evil a**l prober.
Justin: How about up your ass?
[He walks out.]
Michael: Sounds about right.
Michael: Hey. Hey! (He actually sounds pissed.) What's up with you?
Justin: What do you think? You told him that we knew, didn't you?
Michael: Look, I - I didn't mean to. It just -
Justin: What? Slipped out? "We know you have cancer"? That is the f*cking lamest excuse I've ever heard. You're the one who said that we should be strong and honor his wishes.
Michael: I'm sorry!
Jutsin: Do you have any idea how hard that's been? Why are you sorry? Did he kick you out? Did he say he never wanted to see you again? Well, if that's the way he wants it, I'll be glad to honor those wishes, too!
[He leaves Michael standing there, dumbfounded.]
[At the library, Ben is approached by a former student, Anthony Flynn.]
Anthony: Professor Bruckner.
Ben: That's me.
Anthony: You should remember me. It was in your summer class last year.
Ben: So many students in so many class.
Anthony: Anthony Flynn.
Ben: I hope you enjoyed it.
Anthony: It was great. In fact I leave and brought your book.
Ben: Oh, did you read it?
Anthony: A few times, actually. I loved it. So well-written. I agree with the critics at the back.
Ben: Oh, only a few copies saled.
Anthony: I hope we can talked sometimes about it. You see, I'm a writer to.
Ben: I would like that, Anthony but it's my policy not to fraternize with my students.
Anthony: Even formerly ones? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to put you in an awkward position.
Ben: No, it's okay.
Anthony: It's just that your book really spoke to me. As a gay man, I mean. By the time I'd finished it, I felt I'd discovered things about myself I'd never known.
Ben: Thank you.
[He starts to leave, but then he turnes back.]
Ben: Flynn. You used to sit about halfway back. Way over on the right by the window with the fire escape.
Anthony: That's me!
[Debbie and Emmett, at home. Emmett calls and order the menu. Debbie sit at the table and reads "The October Detective".]
Emmett: Uh, huh. No, sure. I understand. [he hangs up] So, that was the last possibility.
Debbie: I know your business is f*cked. But never fear, the help is here.
Emmett: Where?
Debbie: You're looking at it. I can shift my shift tonight and give you a hand.
Emmett: Oh, thanks, but I need more than a hand. I need an entire body. Prefferly it belong to a shop.
Debbie: What's the matter with my cooking?
Emmett: Don't take that the wrong way, but not everything covered in marinara sauce.
Debbie: Fine!
Emmett: "The October Detective"
Debbie: Mmmh, is one of those series.
Emmett: Of twelve?
Debbie: How did you guess?
Emmett: Well, come some clue, come some quick. For instance I have never-known to read Detective novels.
Debbie: So?
Emmett: So I would use my power of deduction that it has something to do with one Lieutnent Horvath.
Debbie: Sorry, Sherlock. Carl came here strictly as a friend and there's nothing between us.
Emmett: The look in his eyes said otherwise.
Debbie: What do you know about the look in a man's - never mind, I take it back.
Emmett: Stop living in a book and start living your life. God, those milch is fabelous. Perhaps I underestimate your skills.
Debbie: My cholocate sauce is covered by marinara sauce. What is with this sweet kid, Darren? The one that get bashed? I send him food from the diner and now he sends my goodies back. Like a thank you and he does it all by himself. I tell you, he can dance, he can cook. He is a knock out in a dress.
[Emmett hears and rushes out the door.]
Debbie: Em? Em?! Where the f*ck he'd go?
[When Ted finds Brian slumped on the office sofa, he tries to do a little twelve-stepping.]
Ted: Brian? Brian? Jesus Christ, what's wrong?
Brian: Nothing. I'm fine. Why do you ask?
Ted: Well, for one thing, you look like sh1t.
Brian: Thank you.
Ted: This is the second time this has happened.
Brian: f*cking accountants. They have to keep a record of everything.
[Hee! I love that line.]
Ted: I just want you to know that you can trust me. As a friend and as someone who has been through it all. I mean there is nothing I haven't seen or done, which is why I don't presume to judge anyone, but there's one thing I know. The first and hardest step you'll ever have to take is admitting you have a problem. Once you've done that, you're on the road to recovery.
Brian: It's the Big C, Ted.
Ted: Cocaine?
Brian: It's bigger.
Ted: Crystal?
Brian: Bigger.
Ted: Caffeine?
Brian: It's cancer, Theodore!
Ted: C-c-c-
Brian: But relax. They got it. I'm having radiation. It started this morning. Excuse me.
[He goes into the bathroom and hurls. While he's gone, Ted pours him a glass of water.]
Ted: I can't tell you how relieved I am. [Brian gives him a look] I mean, that you're gonna be alright.
Brian: Thank you.
[He lies down on the couch.]
Ted: Is there anything I can do?
Brian: As a matter of fact, you can do three things. First, keep your big mouth shut. Or you're fired.
Ted: Sealing, sealing (zips lips). The second?
Brian: I want you to cover for me this afternoon with Dandy Lube.
Ted: Cover for you?
Brian: Make the presentation.
Ted: But - I -
Brian: Look, if you could pretend that you were Pavarotti at that pathetic pasta palace, you can do this.
Ted: What's the third?
Brian: Call me a cab. I'm going home.
[In the cafeteria with Anthony an Ben.]
Anthony: The part where all your friends were turning positive? But you still hadn't been infected.
Ben: I remember feeling terrified that I'd be next. But at the same time feeling like I just wanted to get it over with.
Anthony: Then when you converted, it put you in a whole different place!
Ben: Spiritually, emotionally, politically.
Anthony: I have to tell you, it was very moving.
Ben: Anthony, may I ask you a personal question?
Anthony: I feel like I already know so much about you, it's only fair.
Ben: Are you positive?
Anthony: No. But your book still spoke to me. And isn't that the measure of any great book? That it speaks to everyone?
Ben: I don't know about that. About it being a great book. But thanks.
Anthony: So, the question is, when's the next one coming out?
Ben: That is the question. Just finished a novel about two men. It's set in Paris in the 30's.
Anthony: Sounds great!
Ben: There are a couple dozen publishers who don't agree with you. They all turned it down.
Anthony: Well, I'd love to read it. If you'd let me.
Ben: I don't know.
Anthony: Hey. I'm an English lit major, a budding young writer and I work in a library. Oh - and I got an A in your course. That should qualify me to know a little something about good writing.
Ben: At the risk of losing a fan -
[He hands Anthony the manuscript.]
Anthony: Or gaining an even bigger one.
[Emmett's search for a chef. Emmett visits Darren, who is rehearsing at Woody's. When he finishes singing, Emmett does the retarded seal clap.]
Emmett: Bravo. Uh, I mean brava! I'm Emmett Honeycut. I live with Debbie Novotny. We met in the so-what-Christmas party.
Darren: Right.
Emmett: You were fabulous. I just love the clothes, the gauntlet,... the chocolate muse.
Darren: Excuse me?
Emmett: I'm a party planer. Debbie's brother, Vic, was my chef before he passed away. He's gone now but our business isn't. Who ever someone knows the show must go on, it's you. So...
Darren: You want Chanda Leer to performing at a party?
Emmett: No, I want Darren to cook for a party.
Darren: But I... I aren't a chef.
Emmett: Well, you do a fabulous imagination of that, too. I mean those delicate sauce you can send them over to a five star hotel.
Darren: I would love to help you out, but Chanda is making a comeback... God, I hate that word. It's a return, there is no time.
Emmett: Well, I can't help drying. Good luck, oh, break a leg.
[He turns the music on... and stumble over his feed and falls.]
Darren: Damn!
Emmett: I don't mean that way.
Darren: Look at this. [his shoes are broken] Do you know how much this black pumps have cost? Not to mention the new gauntlet, and the hair. Shanda maybe a star but she's going drive me into the poor house.
Emmett: Honey, let's review. You need the money and I need someone so service my guest with food.
[Darren agrees to be Emmett's chef.]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Michael's comic book. Hunter comes in.]
Hunter: Mail's here.
Michael: Since when I get a special delivery?
Hunter: Since this arrive from this place in Hollywood.
Michael: It's from Brett.
Hunter: You mean Mr.Keller? Stop starring and open the goddamn letter already!
[He does so.]
Hunter: Well?
Michael: There are two checks. One made out for Justin and one made out for me about $10,000!
[They wild whooping and cheering ensues.]
Hunter: Oh my god! We're rich!
Michael: Not quite.
Hunter: But we will be!
Michael: Just imagine, Rage on the silver screen, big budget special effects -
Hunter: Millions in fast-food merchandising tie-ins!
Michael: Tom Cruise pumping away in hot superhero mansex.
Hunter: Careful, he'll sue your ass.
Michael: Can't sue someone for dreaming.
Hunter: Speaking of dreams - this came too. It's from Green Point Press.
Michael: Well, you can't open someone else's mail. It's a federal offense.
Hunter: I can see it now. I'm on death row awaiting a lethal injection. This mass murderer who killed 48 babies and ate them asks me what I'm being executed for? I say, "Opening Ben's letter!"
Michael: Still, it's not ethical.
Hunter: Ethical, shmethical. Oops! Too late! Should I seal it back up?
Michael: I suppose since it's already opened...
Hunter: That's what I like, a man with values.
Michael: Well?
Hunter: They think it sucks!
Michael: sh1t! Ben's gonna be so upset!
Hunter: Not if he never gets it.
[That's too much, even for Michael. He takes the letter from Hunter and pockets it.]
[Deb pays a visit to Horvath at the station.]
Debbie: May I interrupting?
Carl: I was just about to devour my sandwich.
Debbie: In my neighborhood, that's three guys f*cking.
Carl: C'mon in. Have a seat. How you doing?
Debbie: Better. Thanks in no small part to you.
Carl: Glad to hear it.
Debbie: I'm - uh - I'm sorry you're finishing lunch cause I was gonna take you up on your offer. You know, step out, have a bite. But I have to warn you, Carl, I haven't changed much. I've still got that big mouth and I still speak my mind and I'm still as stubborn as a prom week pimple. But if that's still OK with you, then how about dinner?
Carl: Debbie -
Debbie: I've been having these dreams about lobster lately. I'm adrift on this sea of melted butter and -
Carl: Debbie.
Debbie: What?
Carl: I've been seeing someone.
[Deb's face falls, but she makes a pretty good recovery.]
Debbie: Oh!
Carl: For a couple of months now. Her name's Katherine.
Debbie: (brightly) That's good news!
Carl: See - when I asked you if you wanted to get a bite, it was as friends. I hope I didn't give you the wrong -
Debbie: Oh, no, no, not at all! Katherine. I had an aunt named Katherine! She was a great lady. She was named after Katherine Hepburn, another great lady. Well, I'm very happy for you, Carl. I truly am.
[Ted makes the Dandy Lube presentation, in classic Kinney style - only not.]
Ted: The difference between our lube and their lube is that our lube says "s*x."
[He tries to throw the apple like Brian while his presentation. But his apple falls on the ground.]
Ted: If you wanna be cool, if you wanna be popular, if you wanna get laid, this is the lube you use. On your car, I mean.
Mr. DeCarlo: I fail to see how getting an oil change or having your tires rotated can improve your s*x life.
Ted: Well, see - that's where you're wrong.
Mr. DeCarlo: I'm WRONG?
Ted: Not - not wrong. I mean, just - not right.
Cynthia: What he means is that with a sexier, more playful new image, you can expand Dandy lube's share of the market.
Ted: Yeah, yeah - that's it. What she said.
Mr. DeCarlo: By suggesting we have half-naked muscle boys offering lube jobs at a clothing-optional garage?
Cynthia: By appealing to women and gay men.
Doug: It's an interesting point, Dad. Gays are an important demographic these days.
Mr. DeCarlo: Well, we're meeting with Vanguard this afternoon. I'm sure they'll have a more straightforward approach.
[He gets up to leave.]
Mr. DeCarlo: Coming, Doug?
Doug: [to Cynthia] Can you direct me to the men's room?
Cynthia: It's down the hall to your left.
[Doug goes and throws Ted with a look.]
Cynthia: That'd be your cue!
Ted: My cue?
Cynthia: To nail the account!
Ted: Oh, no. I couldn't, I mean- well, what makes you think that he - suppose he's not -
Cynthia: It never stopped Brian! (She gives him a little shove.) Make him proud.
[Ted heads to the men's room.]
Doug: Your presentation was very - interesting.
Ted: Your father didn't seem to think so.
Doug: Dad just hears the initial pitches and then it's up to me to follow through. So, do you have anything else you'd like to show me?
[Ted takes a deep breath.]
Ted: Yeah. This.
[He grabs Doug and drags him into the stall. Not quite Brian Kinney, but close enough.]
[At the gallery, Lindsay is setting up Sam's show]
Lindsay: Perfect timing. They brought the frames. Don't you like it?
Sam: I already know what my stuff looks like. I'm far more interested in seeing stuff that isn't mine.
[He starts poking around. He picks up a painting that's still wrapped.]
Lindsay: Oh, that's nothing! Just a minor piece by an unknown artist.
Sam: (reading the label) Peterson! It's a figure study.
Lindsay: Sam, Sam, wait! I'm not sure you're gonna like it. I'm not even sure if I like it.
Sam: Then why'd you have it framed?
Lindsay: Good question.
Sam: Is something wrong?
Lindsay: No, nothing! Why do you ask?
Sam: You're hyperventilating. You'd better sit down. I wouldn't want you to do something girly - like faint.
Lindsay: Easy for you to say. Sam Auerbach isn't about to evaluate your work.
Sam: Holy sh1t!
[She jumps up from the chair.]
Lindsay: I knew you wouldn't like it.
Sam: Would you sit down and shut up? (He looks it over.) You flatter me, my dear. By at least a couple inches.
Lindsay: What about the rest of you?
Sam: It doesn't look like me.
Lindsay: That's what Gertrude Stein said to Picasso about her portrait. You know what he said? "It will."
Sam: It's good. It's really good. If it weren't me, I'd be jealous.
Lindsay: You were the inspiration.
Sam: You know, if you weren't a f*cking dyke, I'd ask you to marry me.
Lindsay: Oh, is that how it works? You propose to any woman who flatters you?
Sam: Generally speaking and with disastrous results.
Lindsay: Well, if I weren't already married, I must just accept.
[Let's hurry over to the loft where Michael is pounding on Brian's door.]
Michael: Brian! Brian!
[Finally Brian answers. He looks like sh1t.]
Michael: Jesus, what happened to you?
Brian: Chernobyl.
Michael: Christ! You should be in bed.
Brian: Well, I was. Someone kept knock-knock-knocking at my f*cking door.
[He takes off his coat and goes into the kitchen.]
Brian: What are you doing?
Michael: I'm making you some chicken soup. [Opens the fridge] There's nothing in here but beer and poppers.
Brian: All the essentials.
Michael: Well, you're gonna have to stock up on groceries.
[He grabs pen and paper to make a shopping list.]
Brian: Michael -
Michael: As long as I'm here, I can do your laundry -
Brian: (yelling) Michael!
[That finally gets Mikey's attention.]
Brian: This is exactly why I didn't want anyone to know. It's why I told everyone I went to Ibiza, in the hopes that I wouldn't be treated like an invalid or a victim or like I was gonna die. Now would you get out of here!
[He yells the last part and knocks something on the floor for emphasis. Then he stalks back to the bedroom, crawls into bed and puts his head under the pillow. Michael follows him and pulls off the pillow.]
Brian: What don't you understand about "f*ck off"?
Michael: You think you can kick me out of here the way you did Justin? And for what? Trying not to let on that he knew? Because that's the way you wanted it? He deserves to know. He's your lover, your partner, whether you want to admit it or not, and sick or not, that's a f*cking shitty way to treat him!
Brian: I was only trying to make it easier.
Michael: By never seeing him again?
Brian: He would have left sooner or later anyway. Might as well be sooner.
Michael: What are you talking -
Brian: (explodes) Would you just go home, Michael? Go home to your wife and your kid!
[Emmett's catering job is an engagement party at the large, expensive home of a pro football player.]
Drew: Have I told you how much I love you?
Woman: Not for at least any minutes.
Drew: Then I better remind you. [he kisses her.]
[Emmet goes to the kitchen where Darren cooks.]
Emmett: What a great party. All those sunday afternoon football games jocks.
Woman: [comes in] Hurry, time for ennouncement.
Emmett: Here we go.
[They serve the champagner bar.]
Woman: [in the living room] Can we have attention everyone? We have an announcement to make.
Drew: As you all knows there is only one person who's better kicking balls than I am - that's Shila.
[all laughs.]
Drew: So after threw kick mind over the Golden Bridge I finally agree to marry her.
Shila: We're engaged.
[all applauds. They kisses each other. The other football guys are going to Drew. They are talking in hearing distance to Emmett.]
Guy#1: Hey Drew, where you get those caters?
Drew: Look like a couple of flamers to me.
[All laughs. Emmett look to him.]
Emmett: Excuse me, Mr. Boyd? [they go to the edge.] I know this isn't the place to saying this. Back in Hazelhurst, Mississippi, where I grew up, I was always taught that when a real man has something to say about someone, he says it to his face, not behind his back. So even though you may be a star, captain of the team, hero to millions, you still have a lot to learn about being a man.
[He walks off looking pleased with himself.]
[When Ben gets home, he finds the rejection letter from Greenpoint Press.]
Ben: It looks like someone's opened it.
Hunter: It must have been one of the neighbors. They're always snooping.
Ben: They rejected it.
Hunter: We know! I mean, that totally sucks!
Michael: I'm sorry, Ben.
Ben: Well, I guess that's that.
Michael: Didn't some famous writer, like Ernest Hemingway or Stephen King, send their book to 24 publishers before someone finally accepted it?
Ben: This is the 25th.
Michael: Still, you're a wonderful writer with millions of stories inside of you. That's why I got you something to help you tell them.
[He gets out a box.]
Ben: What's that?
Hunter: It's called a computer.
Michael: You said you needed a new one.
Ben: I didn't realize you could afford something this extravagant.
Hunter: It was me. I paid for it. I've been moonlighting -
Michael: I got a check today from - Hollywood.
Ben: So you read my mail, figured you'd better do something to cheer me up and went out and bought me a computer?
Michael: That's pretty much the plot in a nutshell.
Ben: Well, I don't want your consolation prize or your pity.
[He leaves in a huff.]
Hunter: So, this is mean I get the computer?
[Ben's writing in a notebook, at his table is the new computer.]
Michael: Writing?
Ben: Preparing a lecture.
Michael: How about I order a pizza?
Ben: Not hungry.
Michael: How about you handcuff me to the bed -
Ben: Michael. Can't you see I'm working?
Michael: Yes, now that you mention it, I can. I can also see the new computer I got you sitting alone, ignored, like some geeky guy at the prom.
Ben: Jesus!
Michael: Look - I know what you've been going through. Believe it or not, I've had more than my fair share of rejections. Like by practically every club, every college, every job I ever went up for.
Ben: But you're being accepted now, that's all that counts.
Michael: But I just don't want you to blame me or make me feel like it's my fault.
Ben: I'm sorry I did that. I have no one to credit for my failure but myself. Which is why I've decided to reevaluate my goals, refocus my energy and stop writing. At least for awhile. I feel I should start concentrating my efforts on what I do best, which is to teach. It's where my skills are. It's where my life is leading me.
Michael: Ben -
Ben: Oh, I forgot. I've got to go to my office.
Michael: Now?
Ben: I left some reference books I need for my lecture and a pile of term papers.
Michael: When will you be back?
Ben: Don't know. I'm sure you can return it and get your money back.
[He kisses Michael on the cheek and leaves.]
[Emmett drops by the football player's house to pick up his check and his equipment.]
Emmett: Is Sierra here?
Drew: She's up with her girlfriends.
Emmett: Oh, well I came by to get the check and get my equipment.
Drew: Yeah, she left your check. C'mon in.
[At the living room Drew give him the check. A Sunday Night Football Games are playing at the TV.]
Drew: Here you go.
Emmett: Thanks. I get my equipment.
Drew: How about a beer? I'm not supposed to be drinking, but I'm in pretty good shape. Wouldn't you say?
[He lifts up his shirt.]
Emmett: I'd say one beer's not gonna ruin that six-pack.
Drew: (gesturing at game playing on TV) That was last week's game. Coach makes us watch ourselves.
Emmett: Which one are you?
Drew: Number 7.
Emmett: Very - graceful. In a rugged, manly way! You know, there's something I've always wanted to ask. Why the tight pants?
Drew: So there's nothing to grab onto if you're tackled.
Emmett: Why are you always patting each other's asses?
Drew: Just friendly encouragement.
Emmett: You know, I don't see much difference in how you play your game on Sunday afternoons and how I play my game on Saturday nights.
Drew: Here. (Tosses a football) Catch.
Emmett: (catches it) Omigod! Did you see that? I never caught a ball in my life!
[Drew tackles Emmett and they both wind up on the floor. ]
Drew: You okay?
Emmett: This also isn't much different than my Saturday nights. You have a very nice body.
Drew: You think so?
Emmett: Strong, hard.
Drew: Feel my bicep. Go on. (Emmett feels it.) Now feel this. (He leads Emmett hand to his crotch).
Emmett: What about Sierra?
Drew: She thinks I have a nice body, too.
[He rolls Emmett over and pulls his pants down.]
[Ben is working in his office when he has an unexpected visitor. It's Anthony.]
Anthony: I was working late and figured you might be, too. So I took a chance and stopped by.
Ben: Well, you figured right. Except as you can see, I'm a little busy doing research for this lecture.
Anthony: I won't keep you. I just wanted to tell you I read your book.
Ben: Already? That was fast!
Anthony: It's like I missed the last 36 hours. I was so enthralled, I couldn't put it down.
Ben: That's a first. Most people could barely pick it up.
Anthony: What the f*ck do they know?
Ben: I'd like to think not much.
Anthony: Exactly.
Ben: Thank you, Anthony.
Anthony: No, thank you. For entrusting me with it. When you have a spare moment, maybe we can go for coffee again. Discuss it.
Ben: Great.
[Anthony turns to go.]
Ben: Anthony - actually, I have a moment now.
[At the office, Brian drinks ginger ale and valiantly tries not to barf.]
Ted: Bri? Dandy Lube just called. We got 'em.
Brian: Way to go, Theodore. I told you you could do it.
Ted: It was a little dicey at first, but I managed to convince 'em.
Brian: How'd you do that?
Ted: Just thought to myself, "What would Brian Kinney do?" After that, it was a snap. You don't look so hot. Why don't you let me mind the shop and go home?
[No argument from Brian. He leaves. When he gets back home, Justin is there.]
Brian: I thought I told you to get out.
Justin: I guess I didn't hear. You tend to mumble a lot.
[Brian slams his briefcase down on the counter.]
Justin: You want some soup? It's Debbie's homemade recipe.
Brian: No wonder I feel like barfing. Listen to me, you little sh1t. I don't want you here.
Justin: I don't care what you want.
[Brian grabs him by the arm, but he's too weak to throw Justin out again.]
Justin: You're not getting rid of me!
[They struggle briefly. Brian ends up on the floor.]
Justin: sh1t, are you alright? Tell me you're alright!
Brian: (shoves Justin away) I'm alright!
Justin: You're not alright.
Brian: (yells) Then what the hell are you asking me for?
Justin: So that I can tell you what a motherfucking piece of sh1t you are for not telling me! For shutting me out. For thinking that you could handle this on your own. And most of all, for thinking that I would leave you. Why would you think that? Cause you had a ball removed? Because you're no longer perfect? Well, believe me, Mr. Kinney, that is the least of your imperfections. And if I'd wanted to leave you, I've had better reasons. Plenty of 'em.
Brian: Maybe you should have.
Justin: Yeah, maybe you're right. But I thought we had a commitment. And I plan to stand by it. Now why don't you get your ass back in bed, you son-of-a-bitch! And eat some f*cking chicken soup!
[The fight drains out of Brian. Slowly and painfully, he walks into the bedroom and lies down. Justin follows with the bowl of soup, sitting on the side of the bed. Fade to black.]
|
Plan: A: Justin; Q: Who discovers why Brian has thrown him out? A: Hollywood; Q: What is Michael's windfall? A: A pro football player; Q: Who makes a play for Emmett? Summary: Justin discovers why Brian has thrown him out. Can Michael and Ben's relationship survive Michael's Hollywood windfall and Ben's manuscript rejection? A pro football player makes a play for Emmett.
|
Opening credits EXT DAY London from the sky with lots of bridges EXT DAY Big warehouses next to train tracks and car park from the sky INT DAY Warehouse Close up of crowbar getting rid of a padlock. Door slides open. Ianto leading the way into a really big empty wet concrete and corrugated metal place. He's all proud.
IANTO : This is us. This is Torchwood. This is home. Gwen, cross armed, is not impressed, but attempts to twitch a smile.
TV SCREEN
TV NEWS : The children promised tomorrow and tomorrow is here. Our correspondents have been measuring the situation in Australia where so far...
FRENCH TV NEWS: Le President a déclaré avoir ordonné la fermeture de nos écoles.
USA TV NEWS : The Senate have pointed out that we are now living in fear of our children. In fear of what they will say next. In fear of who or what is speaking through them.
INT DAY Warehouse Close up on lighter. Click, click, whoosh, flamey.
RHYS : Whoa ! Almost lost my eyebrows ! Still, I'm good for something, see ? Old Boy scout ! Ianto and Jack are at opposite ends of what's left of a sofa. Gwen is standing, rubbing hands together.
GWEN: I'm freezing.
RHYS : Is anyone gonna see us in here ? You know with all this firelighting stuff ?
IANTO : It was abandoned in the '90s. Used to be a Torchwood holding facility, Torchwood one.
JACK : Been rusting away for years.
GWEN : So what do we do ? Just sit here ?
JACK : Worse than that, do I have to stay in these clothes ? I mean, come on. Tracksuit bottoms. Not a good look.
GWEN : Jack, they're arriving today. That alien voice-thing said today and we're stuck in the back end of beyond.
JACK (slaps sofa seat) : Yeah. But we're together. The old team. We're down, but not out, yeah ? (Gwen sits in the middle). We've survived worse than this.
GWEN : Yeah.
JACK : Besides, I don't know how much fighting you should do, in your condition. Gwen raised eyebrows, Ianto looking sideways at Rhys, and Rhys...
RHYS : What does that mean ?
GWEN (whispers) : Christ. Jack !
RHYS : He knows you're pregnant ? You told him before me, didn't you ?
GWEN : Rhys, he happened to be there, and it happened really, really fast.
RHYS : Last to know ! Last to bloody know ! Well, thank you very much ! He stomps off. Gwen gets up to follow him.
GWEN : Don't be stupid, man. Hey, don't be so... (to Jack) Couldn't you just keep it shut ? Jack smirks.
IANTO : All together. The old team.
TV SCREEN
TV NEWS : Tension is mounting as the population of the entire planet waits for the next incident.
FRENCH TV NEWS: Le Parlement Europeen semble figé au regard de ces...
US TV NEWS : We've been given no answers, no hope, no assurance that our children will come first if...
TV NEWS : The Government has refused to speculate about the origin of the voice or the importance of the word "tomorrow". Let's take you live now to Downing Street.
INT DAY Prime Minister's Office Prime Minister talking to camera, but without the TV Screen pixels effect. Behind him looks mostly red.
PRIME MINISTER : In light of what's happening with our children, we've temporarily closed the schools. As a further precaution, we have introduced a temporary curfew for everyone under the age of 18. Camera moves sideways, we see the first picture was on a monitor and he's revealed behind that. Background looks mostly yellow and green. And you can see a camera and a dude with a microphone on a stick and someone with paper and pen. INT DAY Frobisher house Holly and Lilly at a table playing on small computer games. Anna watching the TV, where the Prime Minister continues.
PRIME MINISTER (VO) : Keep your children at home, where they'll be safe. The curfew takes effect immediately... INT DAY PRIME MINISTER's Office Prime Minister from the side.
PRIME MINISTER : ...and will continue until further notice.
TV SCREEN
PRIME MINISTER : But rest assured.
INT DAY Frobisher sitting somewhere Close up on Frobisher looking worried.
PRIME MINISTER : We are doing everything in our power. INT DAY Davies house Rhiannon, very bright pink, in the kitchen watching the news past a ton of kids.
PRIME MINISTER : To find out what's going on, to safeguard our children. INT DAY Bridget staring in close up Just her face looking stern, then looking down and away.
PRIME MINISTER : And all the people of this nation. INT DAY Somewhere with lots of people Assortment of people, many black, some white, and Lois Habiba looking "yeah right" at the TV.
PRIME MINISTER : In the meantime, we are asking everyone to stay calm, and to go about your lives as normal. There's nothing to suggest we are in any danger, and as soon as we find out anything more; INT DAY Frobisher close up again John is worried.
PRIME MINISTER : The public will be informed. Worried John looks down at the floor.
PRIME MINNISTER : And as always...
TV SCREEN
Wonky close up on his eyes.
PRIME MINISTER : I thank you, for your trust, and for your faith. INT DAY with Lois Her reaction shot is last, with strings sting of worry now. INT DAY warehouse Jack wanders past the fire bin, still in his tracksuit bottoms. Ianto, near camera sitting on stairs, watches him. A whole yellow and black with hints of grey and brown sort of theme to the location. Ianto on his cellphone.
IANTO : Yeah, it's me, listen, I can't talk, just give her the thumbs up. She'll know what it means. EXT DAY Davies estate Johnny walking in front of some houses. Whistle. Johnny looks up, a black man on a balcony gives him the thumbs up. Johnny gives thumbs up back.
JOHNNY : Oh, brilliant ! Thanks, Mac ! INT DAY Davies's house kitchen Rhiannon is feeding many small children. There's cola in cans and a stock of sandwiches. Many, many children, and loudness, and chaos.
JOHNNY : Mac says, thumbs up, Ianto's alive !
RHIANNON : Is that it ? You daft sod, well where is he, what's he doing ?
JOHNNY : Thumbs up, that was all. This is Eliza, and she's lactose intolerant, so no milk.
RHIANNON : Oh, right. You take your coat off, you go in there and play, all right ? That's it now, Johnny. No more kids ! I'm full to bursting.
JOHNNY : It's a public service ! The schools are closed, people still got to work. Life goes on !
RHIANNON : Yeah, with you making a profit.
JOHNNY : Ten quid a kid. Look, that could be our slogan, ten quid a kid ! INT DAY Carter house Steven with hand over mouth staring watching TV, Alice on her phone again. The TV is some kids game thing. Phone ringing.
JACK (VO) : This is Jack Harkness, leave a message and I'll get back to you. Alice hangs up and stares at phone. Then bites nails and stares at TV, spinning phone around still in her hand. INT DAY warehouse Table of awesome equipment stash. Messy table. Unawesome equipment.
JACK : So, we've got... Guns, OK, and a pen knife. Laptop, now dead. Credit cards and a phone, which they can trace. Lemsip. Book of stamps. Pair of contact lenses. And fifteen quid.
GWEN : Plus 25p. And some bloody alien thing turning up today.
IANTO : We've still got some of the Torchwood software though. We've lost the Hub, but the software still exists on the server. Trouble is we're gonna need some more equipment, not to mention electricity.
RHYS : And how are we gonna manage that, hidden away like criminals.
GWEN : Well that's it. Brilliant !
RHYS : What ?
GWEN : Criminals. Thieves. Us. Well, they're treating us like criminals, let's be criminals. Listen, I trained with the police, I know every trick in the book ! I've seen the lot ! Come on, boys. You're gonna learn some tricks ! EXT DAY Café Montage of lets be bad guys. Two people sitting at outside café table, one reading a newspaper. "They're coming today" "Authorities prepare for arrival". And a bunch of other stuff. Ianto, jacket and tie off, sleeves rolled up, white towel over one arm, comes up to the table.
IANTO : Everything all right ?
CUSTOMER : Oh, yeah, fine, thanks very much.
IANTO : That'll be £15.50, please. The bloke hands over his credit card. Ianto turns away, ditches the towel, and runs. EXT DAY bench on street Gwen chats to some bloke on a bench. We don't hear what they're saying. Rhys walks up, picks up the man's laptop case, and legs it. It's sort of cute how obvious he's being. EXT DAY Café Jack's turn to run the credit card con. EXT DAY Bench Rhys and Ianto "fight", getting the attention of everyone. Gwen walks up and walks off with another expensive looking laptop shaped bag. EXT DAY Some street A bloke is on the phone and fiddling with some machine. Jack is sneaky. Run jump steal the car. Swish speedy car. No longer.
A DRIVER : Hey, come back, that's my car. INT DAY Carter's house Phone again. Alice not happy. She puts the phone down, then picks up the bowl and juice glass Steven is finished with and goes to tidy away. Stops. Puts them down again.
ALICE : I'm just going to pop over the road. I won't be a minute, OK ? He leans on his hand some more. EXT DAY Carter's house She walks out into shiny sun. Sees someone across the road with their phone out.
ALICE : Excuse me, could I borrow your phone ? I just want to make a call to my sister, she's a bit worried. It's all this stuff with the kids. And my mobile's not working. Is that OK ?
GIRL : Yeah, sure.
ALICE : I won't be long. Brilliant, thanks. She takes it and walks away. Dials. Rings.
POLICE LADY : Hello, Cardiff Bay police station. ALICE (lots of ums and hesitations, but fast) : Yeah, I'm trying to contact Captain Jack Harkness, he works for Torchwood. I know it's not your department, but... New tone (bleep, bleep, bleep). INT DAY Ashton Down The Operative behind his map is now listening.
ALICE : I think he was might have been in that explosion, and I can't get in touch with him. He's got this private number and he always answers it but... As she talks his computer is getting photos of Jack and a photo of the girl Alice borrowed the phone from.
MALE VOICE : I'll need your name and address. EXT DAY Carter house street Alice on phone.
ALICE : I just want to know where he is. INT DAY Ashton Down Computer screen close up. "LOCATION CONFIRMED : 2809,165.99' Zoom in on maps.
MALE VOICE : I'll need your name and address. EXT DAY Carter house street Alice lowers the phone.
MALE VOICE : Name and address, please. She slides it closed.
ALICE : Lovely, thank you very much. Thanks. She gives the phone back and runs back into her house. Ominous CCTV camera is Ominous. INT DAY Ashton Down Still on the blue map. Zooming in more. And more. CCTV of Alice on the phone. Johnson stares through reflected computer screens. CCTV gives them Langham House 27. By the time Johnson walks across the room to hear his report the operative has all this.
OPERATIVE : Name's Alice Carter, maiden name Alice Sangster, parents James and Mary Sangster, which is significant because James and Mary Sangster never really existed. They were placeholder names, used in the early '70s, for personnel that went into deep cover or witness relocation. In other words, the whole ID's a fake. Computer screen says a lot of stuff. Picture of Alice, picture of her house, lots of writing. Alice Carter (nee Sangster), d.o.b. 05/08/1975. Parents James Sangster, d.o.b. 29/01/1939; Mary Sangster, d.o.b. 09/03/1948. Dependent(s) Steven Carter, d.o.b. 4/10/99. 27 Cromer Road.
JOHNSON : Can you find out who she is ?
OPERATIVE : I'm on to it. INT DAY warehouse Probably day. It is dark. You can tell from the lanterns next to the laptop. On the laptop screen there's the National Grid and the edges of a wallpaper of women in lingerie. Jack is typing.
JACK : Let there be light ! Subtle thematic reminder of Jack playing god. Oh, and the lights go on.
GWEN : Oh, yes ! Britain's most wanted !
RHYS : Hey, how about that ? Rhys has wiped dirt off the rusty wall until it says HUB2 in big letters.
JACK : Guess that makes you an official member of the team.
RHYS : You can stick it, mate. Get on those computers, and get me home, yeah ?
IANTO (OS) : I see we've got a new car outside. (Walks in with maximum possible bags in hand, wearing a new suit). Nice, very smart.
JACK : Where've you been ?! We thought you'd got arrested.
IANTO : Just buying essentials. Technology's one thing, but let's not forget the creature comforts. Coffee, obviously. Got some do da... Toilet paper.
GWEN : Thank God.
IANTO : And more importantly... I didn't know your exact sizes, but I reckon I've got a good eye.
GWEN : Oh, brilliant, I am stinking !
RHYS : Nice one !
IANTO : And for you, sir... Army surplus special.
JACK : Oh, you are kidding me ! Jack and stirring music, start with his feet, the boots, the uniform trousers, and most importantly, The Coat.
JACK : I'm back ! Four stripes on the shoulders and all. Everyone has happy and applause. The camera angle has Jack standing in the fire in the foreground. EXT DAY Street with red post box and lots of railings A woman stops at the Wait box on a crossing. Clem jogs up beside her. Her purse is sticking out her handbag. Clem looks around and sneaks it out. The road crossing beeps, she crosses, he jogs off along the pavement. INT DAY Pub Same pub as Day Two. Clem unpacking the purse on the bar. As he does so the barmaid sees the family photos and the pink beads and goes in back, suspicious faced.
CLEM : Such a long time ago. But it's all coming back. Isn't it ? Cos of that smell... Closer and closer. Happens today, well, it's always today, isn't it ? Same as yesterday. Today and yesterday. I knew they'd come back. Bastards always come back. (Sniffs) I can smell them. Just like last time, isn't it ? Clem now mixes with flashbacks, children walking, those children walking towards the light.
CLEM : Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop ! Stop ! Stop ! Stop ! STOP ! STOP ! He screws up his eyes and it stops flashing back.
BARMAID (OS) : That's him... Clem turns. Sees Barmaid behind two uniformed police officers. Run into pub. With tables. Ineffectual run.
CLEM : No. Oh, no, don't take me, they'll get me.
POLICE : Hold on.
CLEM : No, don't take me, get out of the way !
POLICE : That's it. Come on... you're making it worse.
CLEM : Stop ! Stop ! Stop ! They'll get me, they'll get me. INT DAY warehouse Jack on the laptop, with the women in lingerie showing. He types, women go all wiggly and the whirly blue Torchwood background appears.
JACK : And we're in ! Jack is in shirt and braces, sleeves rolled up.
IANTO : Just like the old days !
GWEN : I'll patch into the new channels, see what's happening. This is Torchwood speak for "I will look at the BBC News website"."World Still Waiting". "Prime Minster Brian Green has announced the closure of all schools, and put into place a curfew of all under 18s." "In a statement to the nation he said :We are doing everything in our power to find out what's going. And then there's some more".
RHYS : Black, no sugar, yeah ?
JACK : That's the one.
GWEN : No sign of anything. Empty skies.
IANTO : Right, where do we start, what are we looking for ?
GWEN : Run a check on that Clement MacDonald. See if there's any change. And those names Lois said, Captain Andrew Staines. Was it Ellen Hunt ? Michael something. All assassinated the same time they tried to kill Jack.
IANTO : Andrew Staines, Ellen Hunt, Michael Sanders, mean anything to you ?
JACK : No, nothing.
GWEN : We need to get inside Whitehall. Pause of Jack has no ideas. Gwen is the boss, Jack looks good in the coat.
GWEN : Have you got the I5 software, Ianto ?
IANTO : Yeah, it's still on the site, why ?
GWEN : Download it onto the laptop... cos these are not just contact lenses. These are Torchwood contact lenses.
IANTO : But what do we use them for ? Who's gonna wear them ?
GWEN : Well, there's only one person still talking to us. INT DAY Coffee place A bloke makes coffee. Phone rings.
COFFEE BLOKE : Hello... Is there a Lois in here ? Lois Habiba ?
LOIS : That's me.
COFFEE BLOKE : We're not a call centre, hurry up.
LOIS : Hello ?
GWEN: Lois, look to your right. She does. Out the window and across the road Gwen is on the phone and carrying a laptop case.
GWEN : Don't hang up. Don't hang up. I need five minutes. Just five minutes. Lois stares at Gwen. Gwen looks all Gwen-y back. The eyes work. They're sat at a table together.
LOIS : I've helped you once. And that's enough. If anybody finds out what I'm doing... It's treason. It's literally treason. Offences like this can be tried without a jury. They could do anything to me.
GWEN : I know but You said they're building something at Thames House. And we need to find out what it is.
LOIS : That's the most secure building in the whole country. I can't exactly smuggle you in !
GWEN : You don't have to. You just... Sudden silence as someone walks past. Wait. Then Gwen, laptop already on the table, turns it around so Lois will see.
GWEN : Just keep your eyes open. Like this. Gwen opens the laptop lid. It is already working.. The I5 software is up, giving the view with the round border. Lois sees herself looking down at the laptop.
LOIS : But... where's that coming from ? That's not a webcam, that's you.
GWEN : And to the right. And to the left. And back.
LOIS : Where's the camera ? On your jacket ?
GWEN : In my eyes.
LOIS : Oh, my God.
GWEN : When you wear these, they'll transmit a picture so we can see what's going on. And more than that, we've got lip-reading software. Just look at someone when they're speaking, and it'll translate it. Press enter on that. Go on. (She does). Now it's working. Say something.
LOIS : Like what ?
COMPUTER : Like what ?
LOIS : Oh, my God, that's weird.
COMPUTER : Oh, my God, that's weird.
GWEN : And we can send messages to you. Type something. Go on, anything. Round edges screen says "Hello Gwen".
GWEN : Hello Lois.
LOIS : You can see that ? In your eyes ? Gwen takes them out.
GWEN : It's good, isn't it ? (Closes laptop lid). If you wear these, we can find out what's going on. And then, we can help.
LOIS : But I can't. What if they... I don't know, scan for bugs, or something ?
GWEN : Yeah they will but they won't register. I promise.
LOIS : I can't, though. Getting you information's one thing, but that's putting me right on the front line.
GWEN : You're the only friend we've got left.
LOIS : Even if I get into Thames House, I can't get on to Floor 13, that's where they're building this thing, but Frobisher only takes miss Spears with him, I'm just the office girl !
GWEN : Well, you'll have to find a way inside.
LOIS : But how ?!
GWEN : I don't know, you'll have to think of something.
LOIS : I can't ! I'm sorry, I've got to go. Lois gets up and starts leaving.
GWEN : Just take them with you, I am begging you, just think about it. She grabs Lois and stands.
LOIS : I've really got to go.
GWEN : Please, Lois. Close on their hands gripping.
LOIS : I can't.
GWEN : Please. Gwen transfers the lens box to Lois. Closes her hand over it and presses. Lois looks grim and runs off. Gwen sits again, all bite fingers. INT DAY warehouse Jack and Ianto on laptops in foreground, fire between, Rhys behind facing away cooking.
JACK : Frobisher's the key to this. He's just a civil servant, he's nothing. What makes him start authorising executions ? Long pause, Ianto very thinky.
IANTO : What did it feel like ? I mean, getting blown up.
JACK : It wasn't the best of days.
IANTO : No, but... did you feel it ? Or did everything just go black ?
JACK : I felt it.
IANTO : sh1t.
JACK : Yeah.
IANTO : D'you ever think that, one day, your luck'll run out ? That you won't come back.
JACK : I'm a fixed point in time and space. That's what the Doctor says. I think that means it's forever.
IANTO : So... one day, you'll see me die of old age. And just keep going.
JACK : Yeah.
IANTO : We better make the most of it, then. Jack grin a lot.
JACK : Suppose. Jack turns back to type on his computer. Ianto looks him down and up.
IANTO : Like right now ?
JACK : Ianto, the world could be ending.
IANTO : World's always ending. And I have missed that coat. Jack very happy grin, half laugh. He turns around, yells to Rhys.
JACK : Rhys, d'you wanna take the car and go to those shops, down by the Wharf ? We need some disks for these things. Should take about... 20 minutes ?
IANTO : 30 minutes.
JACK : 30.
RHYS : I'll go later, the beans are almost done !
JACK : The beans are almost done.
IANTO : Bloody beans.
And turns back to his computer. There's a picture of Clem up and the computer scans it and some databases and has progress bars.
IANTO : Whoa, that's nice, look at that... face recognition software. And... arrested two hours ago in London. He wouldn't give his name, but that is Clement MacDonald.
JACK : That's the man from the hospital.
IANTO : Could be useful. His phone rings.
IANTO : Gwen ? EXT DAY A street Gwen walks and talks on the phone, laptop bag back over her shoulder. Conversation alternates with Hub2.
GWEN : I've given her the contacts, but God knows, I think she's too scared.
IANTO : No we've got a little ? New mission for you. That Clem's turned up, in Camden police station of all places, arrested for theft and minor affray. Could you get him out ?
GWEN : How am I supposed do that ?!
IANTO : You were a policewoman.
GWEN : Oh, OK. Bloody hell, anything else while I'm at it ?
IANTO : Fillet steak would be nice.
GWEN : Yeah, don't push it, see you later. INT DAY warehouse Jack still looking at Clem photo.
JACK : So Ianto, what's his story ?
IANTO : Well, according to Gwen, it was your classic alien abduction, back when he was a kid. 1965. He was living ten miles outside Arbroath, the Holly Tree Lodge, it was an orphanage. Jack reacts, and so does the music. Tense little tap tap and a really annoying string drone. We should all be worried then.
IANTO : I looked up the files, the kids were taken away in november 1965, the Lodge was closing down, they were being taken to a second care home called Harbour Heights in Plymouth. Except, that's where the records stopped, there's no trace of them arriving. I mean it was the '60s, a lot of the paperwork's gone missing. But if what he's saying is true, maybe they never got there. Jack gets up and goes over to watch over Ianto's shoulder.
JACK : Show me those people.
IANTO : What people ?
JACK : Andrew Staines, Ellen Hunt, Michael Sanders. The ones that were killed the same day as me.
IANTO : Why, d'you think there's a connection ?
JACK : Show me ! Ianto brings up pictures of old people.
JACK : No, no, give me their history, show me them 40 years ago.
IANTO : What for ?
JACK : Just do it ! And now there's young photos. In uniform. Jack has open mouth of "oh noes !"
IANTO : Who are they, Jack ? Did you know them ?
JACK : I never knew their names.
IANTO : Who were they ? Jack, tell me. Did you know them ? Jack runs to grab his coat and runs away.
IANTO : Jack !
RHYS : Oi ! The beans are ready ! EXT DAY Ashton Down Shows the place from above. INT DAY Ashton Down Shows computer screens and wiggly lines. Picture of Alice.
OPERATIVE : Alice Carter. I've broken the security wall. You're gonna love this. More on computer screen. "Alice Carter - Classified. Mother : Lucia Moretti. Torchwood Operative, 1968-1975. Date of birth : 18/06/1945. Date of death : 23/11/2006. Heart Disease. One daughter. Melissa Moretti. Father Captain Jack Harkness. Freelance Torchwood Operative INT DAY Frobisher office corridors Frobisher walking. Conversation alternates with Ashton Down. Phone rings.
FROBISHER : What is it ? Any sign of Harkness ?
JOHNSON : Sins of the past. Did you know that he's got a daughter ?
FROBISHER : Since when ?
JOHNSON : Alice Carter. She was put into deep cover way back in 1977, at the request of her mother. Seeking to distance herself from the life of Captain Jack, can hardly blame her.
More on computer screen : "Application to enter daughter into deep cover approved 14/02/1977. Entered deep cover as Alice Carter".
FROBISHER : Who was the mother ?
JOHNSON : Woman called Lucia Moretti. Italian, Torchwood staff, 1968 to 1977. Deceased, heart disease, 2006. Natural causes, that's rare for Torchwood. And now, Alice Carter's got a child of her own, his grandson. Could be useful, what d'you want me to do ?
FROBISHER : Bring her in.
JOHNSON : Just the answer I wanted. Johnson hangs up, Frobisher does. He's walked all the way to his office. INT DAY Frobisher's office desks outside Bridget and Lois at their desks, Frobisher talks to Bridget.
FROBISHER : Nothing from Jodrell Bank, but we might as well get ready. Bridget, get everything you need, we'll transfer to Thames House.
LOIS : What d'you want me to do ?
BRIDGET : Exactly what you're doing now. Just answer the phones.
LOIS : Well... I could come with you to Thames House. I could help.
BRIDGET : I don't think so.
LOIS : The thing is... Mr Frobisher asked me to come.
BRIDGET : When was that ?
LOIS : He said he wanted me. At his side.
BRIDGET : What for ? Why on earth would he need you ?
LOIS : It was a... private conversation. Bridget face falls and she lowers the folder she's holding. Then she slaps it down into her briefcase. Frobisher comes out of his office and walks past. Lois and Bridget go back to their own desks until he's through. Bridget follows after him a couple of steps, then stops. She turns to Lois.
BRIDGET : You're not the first, you know. Don't go thinking you're the first.
LOIS : Then I can come ?
BRIDGET : Apparently so. INT DAY Cardiff Police Station PC Andy, stab proof Police vest on, working at a desk with a glass screen in front. Poster behind him says "Fine-dodgers : we're coming to collect". Phone rings.
ANDY : Andy Davidson.
GWEN : Andy, listen.
ANDY : You're alive ?
GWEN : Yes, I'm still alive you idiot. EXT DAY Camden street Gwen walking, looking around. On cellphone. Conversation alternates.
GWEN : Now shut up, I need some help.
ANDY : We need you ! All those kids saying, we are coming. And that's today ! I mean What's it gonna be ? Like a spaceship ?
GWEN : Aw, Andy.
ANDY : Godzilla ?
GWEN : Just listen, I need you to release a prisoner from Camden police station. The address is Albany Street.
ANDY : What are you doing in Camden ?!
GWEN : Does it matter ?!
ANDY : It does to me, I aye...
GWEN : Yes. I know, I'm sorry. Look, just listen, I've got no ID, so I need you to vouch for me, he's only on minor charges so I can stand bail. You need to phone them, and fax a WC242A. Don't use my name, use Lynda's, I'll say I'm Lynda. Can you do that for me please ?
ANDY : OK.
GWEN : Like now ?
She has reached the police station and is going in even as they speak. INT DAY Camden police station Close up of police dude unlocking a metal gate. Also of handcuffs and, pepper spray(?) attached to his belt. Door swings open. Massive and subtle poster at the end of the corridor and several points along it : "Do you have a drug problem ? Ask to see a drug worker." Gwen and the policeman go to Clem's cell. Policeman opens the door. Clem is inside, upset.
GWEN : Clem ? Do you remember me ? CLEM (Sniffs. Recognition and reaching out) : Oh ! Gwen goes in and hugs him.
GWEN : It's all right. I've got you. He sobs. INT DAY Carter's house Alice goes down stairs with a big basket of laundry. Steven is in the kitchen watching TV. We can see the knife block on the counter.
STEVEN : It's boring. I want to see aliens.
ALICE : Yeah. Be careful what you wish for. Put some cartoons on. Opens the back door, goes outside. Dog barking. Stops, whines. Alice stops too. Listening. Birds chirp. She leaves the door wide open, drops the laundry basket, and jogs quickly to the front door. Looks out there. Silence. Absolutely nothing is happening. Apparently it is a scary nothing, for she runs back in and grabs coats.
ALICE : Steven, come on, we're going out, quickly now.
STEVEN : But the telly said we've got to stay inside. She gets him into his coat.
ALICE : Never mind that, now listen to me. We're going to go out, and you're gonna be quiet, OK ? Don't make a sound. Just like those games your gran taught you, d'you remember ?
STEVEN : We in trouble ? Gran always said, there'd be trouble. Alice gets a kitchen knife out, and grabs a chopping block.
ALICE : Then do exactly what she said. Just like the games. Nice and quiet. And don't let me out of your sight. Come on. She runs out the back door... just as soldiers burst in the front ! Black uniforms, helmets, and big guns. Alice runs, Steven behind her, but Soldiers still searching house.
SOLDIERS : Clear ! Clear ! EXT DAY Carter's house garden and neighbourhood Alice and Steven head for the way out their garden just as a soldier comes out the house. Alice reaches the outer wall and stops just by the gate, swinging Steven round against the wall. Soldier chases. Chopping block to the face. Alice splats the soldier, steals his gun, grabs her kid and runs again. Along the street, groups of soldiers at both ends. She ducks sideways into an alley. They all follow. EXT DAY Alley
Alice runs, soldiers follow : Johnson steps out in front. Trapped ! Alice stops and raises her gun. Johnson, perfectly calm, surrounded by armed soldiers with their guns up, just stands still.
ALICE : Get out of the way.
JOHNSON : Go on then. Shoot. Let's see what happens. Are you as immortal as your father ? Is the boy ? We can put it to the test.
ALICE : Take me. Let him go.
JOHNSON : No.
ALICE : He's only a child.
JOHNSON: So ? Alice. If we wanted you dead, we'd have opened fire by now. Just put down the gun.
ALICE : Who are you ?
JOHNSON : Put down the gun.
ALICE : If you harm him. I will kill you.
JOHNSON : Understood. Alice lowers the gun and crouches to put it on the ground, keeping her eyes on Johnson.
JOHNSON : And the knife. Certainly your father's daughter, I'll give you that.
ALICE : Come on, sweetheart. She turns but Steven isn't paying attention. He's standing perfectly still, pointing at the sky.
ALICE : Steven, what is it, what are you doing ? Steven, what is it ?
JOHNSON : What's he pointing at ?
ALICE : Steven, stop it. Please stop it ! Steven Look at me. Steven, stop it ! JOHNSON (turns, looks at the sky) : It's them. EXT DAY London from above Dome on the right, tall buildings, river. Then "gherkin" building on the right and Tower Bridge in the middle. INT DAY Davies's house Rhiannon hands in the sink. Kids shout.
RHIANNON : I charge extra for cleaning, tell your mum, it's another two quid. Silence. The noisy kids stop. They're all pointing the same way, past the kitchen and slightly up. Rhiannon turns and sees them, little Mica included.
RHIANNON : What is it ? Stop it. They just point and stare. Rhiannon throws the kitchen towel down and hurries away. INT DAY Frobisher house Holly, the little one, pointing. Lilly, the older one, also pointing, though her mum has hands on her face.
ANNA : Can you hear me ? Lilly, it's Mum. Just look at me. Just look at me ! EXT DAY London from above again Bunches of buildings. EXT DAY London street Clem is standing pointing. Gwen looks puzzled.
GWEN : What is it ? Clem ? She looks that direction. He just stares. INT DAY warehouse Ianto at the computer, Rhys hurrying over.
IANTO : It's them, it's all of them, the kids.
RHYS : What are they saying ?
IANTO : I don't know, just pointing.
News : China : Children point to the heavens. EXT DAY A street Car pulls up, swish one Jack nicked. Jack climbs out.
NEWS (VO) : Yet again, every child has stopped...
ON TV SCREEN
NEWS : Every single child in the world. There seems to be no reports of speech. Only that they seem to be indicating something in the sky.
EXT DAY Davies estate Rhiannon runs out.
JOHNNY : It's on the news, they're pointing.
RHIANNON : I know, but they're pointing over there. What's over there ? INT DAY warehouse Computer screen writes basically what Ianto says out loud.
IANTO : It says, all the children in America are pointing east. And all the children in Europe are pointing west.
RHYS : It's us. They're pointing at us. EXT DAY Davies estate Looking out across houses and electric pylons.
RHIANNON : If you go far enough in that direction that's London. They're pointing at London. EXT DAY London flying again, London Eye, lots of buildings
TV : According to reports, children in London are all pointing towards the centre of the city. To repeat, children in London all seem to be pointing towards the centre. INT DAY Warehouse still staring at computer screen.
IANTO : They're pointing at Thames House. Come on ! Ianto runs, Rhys follows. EXT DAY London Roofs and buildings and river. Thames House. INT DAY Thames House In the lobby alarms sound, a bloke, Lois and Frobisher are there.
BLOKE : It's happening ! Alarm sounds. All run for the stairs. INT DAY warehouse Hub2 Rhys and Ianto running up stairs. Mixes with Thames house. EXT DAY Warehouse Hub 2 Roof Ianto and Rhys reach the roof and stare out over London. EXT DAY London Column of fire descends from cloud covered sky, punching a blue hole in the clouds. INT DAY Thames House Frobisher reaches the lift. Others still steps behind.
FROBISHER : Sorry, you stay here.
BLOKE : Mr Frobisher, you haven't got the authorisation. Alarm continues to blare. Lois at the back watching the fuss. Frobisher leaves them. EXT DAY Thames House Flag flying from the roof, column of fire descending slowly. EXT DAY London street Clem is pointing. Gwen stares where he is pointing. INT DAY Thames House corridor outside Floor 13 Frobisher emerges from the lift, grabs a chair, and puts it in the lift door to keep it there. There's blinky red lights as well as loud alarms. Frobisher runs. INT DAY Thames House lobby Lots of people run. Lois and Bridget stand in the middle of the stairs. Bridget seems to be holding at least three briefcases. Shaky camera of doom. Roar of descending alien column of fire. Everyone runs. INT DAY Thames House Floor 13 Frobisher runs in. Dekker is there already, staring. They stare together. More shaky camera of doom. Column of fire descends through the ceiling. Pour down and into the Scary Smoke Box. Light so bright the camera has to turn away. Frobisher and Dekker have to hide their eyes. Frobisher peers under his hand, trying to see despite the light. Scary Smoke Box is scary fire box and on the glass on the windows is printed the number 456. EXT looking at INT DAY PM in an office Prime Minister stands in the window staring. In the reflection there's column of fire going into Thames House. EXT DAY London A different angle, lots more water, and still a column of fire. Column of fire shrinks down into Thames House and goes out. Cloud cover and hole in the clouds remains. INT DAY Thames House Floor 13 Frobisher stares into it... and it fades. Frobisher stares into... The Scary Smoke Box. Looking like a box full of smoke. And sadly, this is what it will continue to look like from now on. Frobisher and Dekker look at each other. And look back at the smoke again. Slow roll in towards the glass. Frobisher stares some more.
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT DAY Davies's house Lots of kids all pointing.
CHILDREN : We are here. Children laugh and giggle. They unfreeze and are back to normal. Rhiannon and Johnny are the only ones looking worried there. EXT DAY London street Clem talks to Gwen. Lots of people in the background are on their phones.
CLEM : It's them. They're back.
GWEN : Come on. You're connected to them, we need to find out how. Loads Clem into the car. INT DAY Thames House Floor 13 Frobisher and Dekker stare at the Scary Smoke Box. Frobisher steps forwards very slowly. Smoke. Frobisher and Dekker stare. 456 snarling and hissing. Frobisher scared and jumpy.
456 SYNTHESISED VOICE : Speak.
FROBISHER : My name is John Frobisher. Permanent Secretary to the Home Office, of the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland. Earth. On behalf of the Human Race... 456 snarling and banging. It pukes on the glass. It does that a lot. Something wormy slams against the puke and glass and spreads it about a bit.
FROBISHER : Is there something wrong ? Box of smoke looks smokey and puke green now.
FROBISHER : Do you want me to continue ? 456 growling.
FROBISHER : Then... if I could request, for the purpose of communication... We've no name for your species. What are you called ?
456: You call us 4 5 6.
FROBISHER : That's correct.
456 : Then that is our name. 456 snarling and puke. It's a scary box of smoke and green puke.
FROBISHER : If I could request, on behalf of my government, what is it that you want ? Silence.
FROBISHER : Can you hear me ? I'm sorry, but I need to know, before I approach my superiors, what exactly do you want ? Hissing and growling.
FROBISHER : I must ask the 456, officially, your purpose in visiting...
456 : Speak.
FROBISHER : I am speaking !
456 : We would speak.
FROBISHER : With who ?
456 : The world.
FROBISHER : Why ?
456 : We would speak.
FROBISHER : Well, perhaps we do things differently here. But we would consider this to be a diplomatic liaison. Does that make sense ? We are both, in a sense, ambassadors. And according to protocol, ambassadorial procedure is not made public. You wouldn't be speaking to the entire population, but to their elected representatives. That's, that's, that's how it works. That's all I can offer. Is that acceptable ?
456 : Yes.
FROBISHER : Good. Thank you.
456 : Bring them.
FROBISHER : Thank you. (Walks closer slowly). I have one condition. (Right up to the glass now). Does that make sense, d'you understand that ? A condition ? The 456 have made contact with this country before. Many years ago. It would be better if... I mean, given the nature of that meeting... It would ensure the smooth-running of diplomatic relations between Earth and the 456 if that previous encounter was kept off the record. By off the record, I mean, private. Between us. Can you do that ?
456 : Yes.
FROBISHER : Thank you.
456 : Soon.
FROBISHER : I'm sorry ?
456 : Return. Soon.
FROBISHER : I will. Thank you. He backs up and leaves. Dekker goes diagonal after him. INT DAY Thames House corridor outside Floor 13 Frobisher gets out into the corridor, turns so his back is against the wall, slumps, and slithers. He ends up on the floor with a thump. Face of complete argh freeze. Dekker joins him in the corridor. They stare at each other. Frobisher tries to pull himself together.
ON TV
TV : The area around Thames House is being cordoned off while the Government has...
INT DAY warehouse Hub 2 Ianto and Rhys stare at the screen.
IANTO : It is all kicking off now. Just when we need Jack.
TV : "Breaking News. Pillar of Fire descends over London. Eyes of the world on Thames House.
TV : ...at Downing Street. These images are from five minutes ago. That's been identified as Colonel Oduya of the Unified Intelligence Task Force and this is coming live that's General Austin Pierce, representing the American Armed Forces, he's heading inside Downing Street right now. INT DAY Downing Street Meeting Prime Minister on one side of the table, military men on the other.
GENERAL PIERCE : I have been asked to convey, from the President of the United States, his absolute fury. Is that understood ?
PRIME MINISTER : Very much so.
GENERAL PIERCE : That landing wasn't spontaneous. It was planned, it was prepared, by you. And don't go calling this diplomacy, Mr Green... you have established a court. The sovereign court of Great Britain. In direct contradiction of the statutes of the United Nations.
PRIME MINISTER : We were acting under orders.
COLONEL ODUYA : Did they threaten you ?
PRIME MINISTER : I think we can say, the mere existence of the 456 is a threat. Oduya's raised eyebrow of "shyeah" is win.
GENERAL PIERCE : Nevertheless, you have an alien ambassador, on British soil.
LADY IN SUIT : It has to be said, that Britain has claimed no rights of territory or ownership over species 456.
PIERCE : But it's here ! You've damned well got it, right here !
ODUYA : And at every stage of these negotiations, you have excluded UNIT. When we're specially trained to deal with these situations.
PRIME MINISTER : And I apologise. But the President's welcome to enter Floor 13, as is every other leader of the free world, I'd be honoured.
ODUYA : Except that's impossible.
PIERCE : And you know it. We will not move the President into a location that's had no security screening. That would take days to organise, weeks !
PRIME MINISTER : Then I offer to withdraw.
PIERCE : What does that mean ?
PRIME MINISTER : I won't usurp the United States, or any other nation. I suggest that dialogue with the 456 is taken out of my hands. And conducted by the civil service.
PIERCE : They're still British.
PRIME MINISTER : But not elected, with no authority of State. And that's exactly what we need. Middle men. John Frobisher's already spoken to the 456, I suggest he continues.
ODUYA : I'd suggest that UNIT steps in.
PRIME MINISTER : I wish it were so. But the 456 chose Britain. They designated the location. It's out of my control. What d'you want to do, anger them ? Look..; John Frobisher's a good man. And better than that, he's expendable. So what d'you say ?
PIERCE : Do we have your absolute guarantee that you won't enter the room ?
PRIME MINISTER : My absolute guarantee.
PIERCE : Then that's agreed.
ODUYA : Agreed. Prime Minister smiles. INT DAY Thames House Lobby Lois, Frobisher, Bridget, and a bloke sit in a row on a bench. Frobisher is all thinker posed but with more facepalm. Phone ring.
PRIME MINISTER : John ?
FROBISHER : Prime MinIster, Sir. Gets up and walks. Other three do meerkat pop to watch him walk.
PRIME MINISTER : We've consulted with the military, they've demanded that from now on you become our spokesperson in all negotiations with the 456. Simon can give you a security briefing, thank you. Hangs up, phone lowered slowly.
FROBISHER : sh1t. INT DAY Frobisher4S house Anna on the phone talking and carrying stuff. Kids around.
ANNA : Oh, but I'm the last to know. My own husband, and he won't tell me what's going on. She walks into the kitchen. Straight past Jack. You can tell Jack is hiding, only his coat and his face sticks out and he's all out of focus.
ANNA : I've got the girls, pointing at the sky, and he won't say ! No, there's nothing, I've been flicking through the news channels, no-one's saying anything..; Yeah, yeah I know. If I hear anything, I'll let you know. Jack is hiding even less now. And more in focus. She still doesn't notice.
ANNA : OK. Bye. Hangs up. Puts phone down. Girls giggle and ow.
GIRLS : Careful that thing will rock.
ANNA : Lilly ! (Walks off screen). Downstairs, please, I want you where I can see you. Jack walks out and picks her phone up. Pockets it. Leaves through the garden window door.
TV (OS) : The so-called pillar of fire has brought central London to a halt. Jack closes the door carefully.
TV SCREEN
TV : All roads leading to the river have been closed off, as a result all major thoroughfares have ground to a standstill. Motorists are being asked to stay out of the city centre except for emergencies.
EXT DAY Motorists in the city centre Gridlocked Gwen is on the phone.
GWEN : Oh, that's so bloody Jack, you should've stopped him ! Well, I don't know ! We're gonna be ages, it's gridlock. Bloody London ! Clem starts having flashbacks. Flashbacks screech apparently.
GWEN : Half the people are panicking and trying to get out, the other half is trying to get in. Look, I'm going to have to go, OK ? Bye. Ey, it's all right, Clem. You're safe. You're with me. You're all right, you're safe.
CLEM : I keep remembering more. It's not just them, up there. It's the man. He's come back. After all these years. I can smell him.
GWEN : What man ? Who is he ?
CLEM : The same man. I knew he'd come back for me.
GWEN : All right. It's time I got you a nice cup of tea. And a hot dog. D'you like hot dogs ? I bloody love 'em. Gridlocked Road, but not Gridlocked Gwen any more. She puts the car in gear and drives up on the pavement. Obligatory cardboard boxes and really light rubbish. Bystanders facepalm. EXT DAY Thames House from above It's very pretty. The roof is glass. The roof isn't glass on Floor 13 though.
BLOKE (VO) : I'm recommending we start at 19.00. INT DAY Thames House lobby Bloke is looking at his watch.
BLOKE : That Gives us another two hours. Now this is Louise. (OS) She can advise on international diplomatic protocols, same goes for Samuel... Lois and Bridget sit on the sofas and look over the back at Frobisher.
BRIDGET : There's a creature in that room. It's powerful, and it's toxic, and it's capable of God knows what. I bet you're glad to be trotting after John Frobisher now.
BLOKE : Stuart's the linguistics expert, he can help out, if there's a problem with translation. Phone rings. Says Anna.
FROBISHER : Excuse me, I'd better take this. I was gonna phone you. God, I wish I was home right now. Look, just tell the girls that there's nothing to worry about. EXT DAY Street Jack, leaning on swish car LT56 ZMU. Conversation alternates locations.
JACK : Oh, I'll tell them that, Johnny boy. I'll tell them that their father tried to have me killed, how about that ?
FROBISHER : That's my wife's phone, how did you get my wife's phone ?
JACK : This is 1965, isn't it ? All of this, because of 1965. Frobisher, tell me, is it them ? Have they come back ?
FROBISHER : Yes.
JACK : That's why you tried to have me killed. Along with Andrew Staines and Ellen Hunt and Michael Sanders. All of us dead, so no-one could say anything, is that it ?
FROBISHER : I had no choice.
JACK : Well, I've got a choice... D'you want to hear my choice ? I could blow this thing sky-high. I could tell the world ! Unless you get me into Thames House. I demand to talk to the 456 myself. Think about it. The fact that they've come back proves that they can't be trusted. You need me.
FROBISHER : Captain, we have your daughter and grandson, Alice and Steven Carter in our custody.
JACK : You wha t?!
FROBISHER : I promise, nothing will happen to them. My absolute promise. So long as you agree to say nothing.
JACK : Well, how about I go back into that house, right now, and get your wife ? And your children ?
FROBISHER : Except you won't, cos you're a better man than me. I'm sorry, Jack. Frobisher hangs up and goes back to the briefings. Jack has Frown Face. He hangs up and broods over the car roof. EXT NIGHT London Dark, view of the London Eye, everything lit up very pretty. If this is 1900 it's a time of year that's dark by 1900. Sunset times for London September 2009 say it's only just sunset by 7pm on the 22nd. So probably later in the month not early.
TV : The world is still waiting for any news from Thames House. So far, the British Government is maintaining a policy of absolute silence. And the waiting continues. INT NIGHT Warehouse Hub 2 Clem is eating a hotdog. Gwen and Rhys kiss, casual smooch as Gwen passes. She's got her hands full of mug. Coffee for Clem.
GWEN : There you go.
RHYS : Save some for the rest of us, mate !
CLEM : He's your husband ?
GWEN : Yes. Yes, my beloved.
CLEM : Nice house, isn't it ?
RHYS : Well, we do our best ! It's got shower facilities. Just stand under the skylight.
CLEM (Laughs) : I've stayed in worse. (With eew voice) And who's the queer ?
IANTO (yells) : Oi ! He glares, everyone stares, awkward silence is awkward.
IANTO : It's not 1965 any more.
CLEM : He's queer. I can smell it. Lots of exchange of looks. Gwen and Rhys get casual smooches when Ianto and Jack get plot necessity smooches. Ianto gets called names. EXT NIGHT London Some lights on, some off, London Eye up fairly close with a whole lot of people in it. INT NIGHT Thames House Lobby Lots of people start moving.
BLOKE : If the support staff could take the stairs, the lift is reserved for Mr Frobisher and his personal staff. Fast as you can. Best of luck, sir. Frobisher, Bridget, and Lois are left at the foot of the stairs.
FROBISHER : Big moment. History. Focus on Lois at the back looking worried. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2 Clem lurks, Ianto watches the computers.
RHYS (OS) : What d'you think's in there ?
GWEN (OS) : God knows. That's why we need Lois.
IANTO : No sign of her. Lenses inactive. They can read that on the computer screen, but Ianto is informative out loud anyway. Gwen is seated at the laptop and Rhys is reading over her shoulder, Ianto watching over the other shoulder. Looks like they're in a cage cause there's random yellow grid. INT NIGHT Thames House lobby Bloke who just ran up the stairs swings around the top to tell them time.
BLOKE : Two minutes ! Frobisher psychs himself up and walks. Bridget follows.
LOIS : Um. I'm just gonna... Pay a visit. Bridget sighs. INT NIGHT Thames House toilets Cause we go all the classy places on Torchwood..., black marble, and bar soap. Old fashioned radiator. Lois walks in looking sneaky and looking for people over her shoulder. She checks the stalls. No one there. She goes to the sinks and the mirrors. Contact lens box. Unscrews the Right side and gets the lens out. Very carefully puts it in her left eye. There's close ups. Lens goes on. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2 Computer makes noises and Lois is on screen.
IANTO : Online ! She's doing it !
GWEN : Oh, good girl !
RHYS : I knew she would ! INT NIGHT Thames House toilets Lois once again with the contact lens. Warehouse Gwen types something. EyeCam Lois gets the message "Thanks !"
LOIS : Oh, God ! Don't do too much of that. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2
GWEN : Sorry.
RHYS : She can't hear you.
GWEN : I know. Lois on screen, computer lip reads.
COMPUTER VOICE : Is that you, Gwen ?
GWEN : Yes it's me. Screws lid back on lens box.
LOIS : Right then. Good luck. Ianto leans in and types left handed.
GWEN : Oh, don't do that, I hate smileys. Proper yellow smiley goes ":-)" ":-)". Lois gets her bag together and leaves the bathroom.
RHYS : Took me a while to get used to those things.
IANTO : What, you've used the lenses ?
RHYS : Yeah. That's why Gwen had them.
GWEN : I just took them home for a bit of fun.
IANTO : Fun ?
GWEN : Yeah.
RHYS : Y'know. Fun.
IANTO : Yeah, well been there, done that. It is fun.
RHYS / GWEN : Yeah. INT Thames House lift Lois in first, then Bridget and Frobisher, so Lois ends up at the back. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2
IANTO : That's him, that's John Frobisher.
RHYS : b*st*rd ! Fat lot of good that is, back of his head, how do we know if he's saying anything. INT NIGHT Thames House lift View from the lift shaft looking up. One wonders why. Frobisher and Bridget at the front of the lift talking with Lois watching.
FROBISHER : I suppose it's an honour. Given this position.
BRIDGET : Then again the Prime Minister has guaranteed that diplomatically, he can't enter Floor 13, so whatever happens in there, whatever goes wrong... history will say that it wasn't his fault.
FROBISHER : D'you mean he's using me ?
BRIDGET : You don't get to be Prime Minister by accident. INT NIGHT Thames House corridor on floor 13 Frobisher, Bridget, Lois get out of the lift. There's scary black wearing guards with guns around. Dekker leads and a bazillion other people line up waiting to follow. Many people. Lois has shifty eyes. EyeCam of Scary Smoke Box. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2 Gwen, Ianto, Rhys and Clem are in the warehouse to talk and everyone else is where they belong or it'll take forever to type this. Or to put it another way "alternates locations".
RHYS : What the hell is that ?
GWEN : Some sort of tank. There's something inside the smoke. INT NIGHT Thames House Floor 13 Everyone going in stares at the tank. Because clearly that's good diplomatic protocol, stare with mouth slightly open at the ambassador. Frobisher and Bridget set up at the main desk. Lois gets a seat at the back. Lois gets her notepad out. EyeCam sees it. Gwen types "Get closer". Lois and the eyecam shake their head.
GWEN : Clem, come and see this. Oh, come on. Don't be scared, it's miles away. What d'you think ? He sniffs.
GWEN : Anything you've seen before ?
CLEM : Can't smell it from here. Is that what tried to take me ?
GWEN : Yeah, I think so. Everyone has a seat or place to stand now. Frobisher gets papers in order and stands up. Eyecam shows him walking out to the middle of the floor. In the room Frobisher sees a cameraman focus on him. A monitor shows two views of the room, focus on the Smoke and on the middle of the floor. Live Feed 1 and 2. INT NIGHT Downing Street Meeting Military on one side of the table, Prime Minister and suit people on the other, all stare at the monitor.
PRIME MINISTER : Seen anything like it before ?
ODUYA : Never. INT NIGHT Thames House Floor 13 Frobisher is neatly in the middle of the room, reading from his papers. The camera watches all the different rooms watching Frobisher, Prime Minister and Hub both.
FROBISHER : Thank you If I might bring into session, the first diplomatic congress between the representatives of Planet Earth, and the representatives of the 456. I bring you formal greetings from the United States of America, from the People's Republic of China... INT NIGHT warehouse Hub 2 They watch the silent screen with Frobisher standing in front of a box of smoke. It's the boringest view ever.
IANTO : He's got his back to us !
GWEN : Yeah, I can see that ! Types. It comes up on Eyecam. "Need his moth."
FROBISHER : ...from the Holy See of Vatican City...
RHYS : Need his moth ?
GWEN : Shut up !
FROBISHER : ...from the Russian Federation and associated... Gwen types again "Need his mouth."
FROBISHER : ...of Australia, from the provinces and territories... Tense reading over the shoulder at Hub2.
FROBISHER : ...and Japan, and the Hellenic Republic, from the Islamic Republic of Iran and the Republic of Iraq, from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia and it must be stated on the record that any country not named herein does not indicate their withdrawal from this... Lois, nervously, starts moving around the room to get a view of his moth. Nobody stops her.
GWEN : That's it. Come on, good girl.
FROBISHER : ...reflects only the time span within which this summit has been declared.
CLEM : You've got eyes. You've got eyes in the room.
IANTO : Software's not so good in profile.
FROBISHER : And according to the rules of protocol, as established... Hub2 Eyecam echoes.
ON PC : And according to the rules of protocol, as established...
GWEN : It's not too bad.
IANTO : It's working.
ON PC : 1960 1968 established by the 1968. It's working in that stuttery way that's not. But near enough. ":-)".
RHYS : You hate smileys.
GWEN : Shut up.
FROBISHER : I must ask you to state whether these greetings are accepted. Spooky noises only.
FROBISHER : Do you understand me ?
ON PC : Do you understand me ? Eyecam stares at the smoke box.
FROBISHER : I repeat, according to the rules of protocol, as established by the United Nations in the directives of...
456 : Yes. Raised eyebrows and tense glances in the Prime Minister's meeting.
FROBISHER : Then I thank you on behalf of...
ON PC : Then I thank you on behalf of the United Kingdom.
RHYS : Did it speak ?!
GWEN : It hasn't got a mouth, it's got bloody speakers !
CLEM : It hasn't got a mouth ! Gwen types.
FROBISHER : The Russian Federation, the Commonwealth of Australia, the Citizens and territories of Canada and Japan and the Hellenic Republic, the Islamic Republic of Iran and the Republic of Iraq... Eyecam message :"Can't hear alien.". Lois writes something squiggly on the notepad.
RHYS : It's bloody shorthand !
IANTO : No, I can read it, it says "yes".
GWEN : This is a nightmare !
FROBISHER : ...and the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. It might be easier if we take those names as read from now on, don't you ? 456 snarling and banging and puking some more too. Wormy things bang against the glass some more. A woman runs out with her hand over her mouth.
PIERCE : What's it doing ?
ODUYA : I don't know. Lois writes something. It looks a lot like the same squiggle as the first time. But Ianto has mad keen reading skillz.
IANTO : What's it doing ?
RHYS : What, is that what it said ?
IANTO : No, that's Lois, saying that ! Gwen types "God knows".
FROBISHER : Are you all right ? I'm sorry, but I can't help being concerned, is there a problem ?
456 : I'm sorry, but I can't help being concerned, is there a problem ?
FROBISHER : Do you want me to continue ?
456 : Yes.
IANTO : Yes.
ON PC : Right, then. In the spirit of co-operation...
FROBISHER : We have a formal request to make. We ask you not to use our children for communication. In case certain parties or territories might consider that a violation. Is that acceptable ? Big long pause.
456 : Yes.
IANTO : Yes.
ON PC : Thank you.
PIERCE : Ask it, why it came to Britain.
PRIME MINISTER : Hardly top of the agenda.
PIERCE : Ask the question.
FROBISHER : And, as a gift, and as welcome to this world, we've prepared a document summarising our culture and history. This document can be made available to you immediately. Though its format remains undetermined. Said format remains of your choosing, though this does not constitute a request for information on, or transfer of, specific 456 technology. While Frobisher was saying all that a note was being passed in the back of the room. It reaches Frobisher and he reads.
FROBISHER : I have been given a request for specific information. It has been asked... why the 456 chose Great Britain as its chosen point of embarkation.
456 : We came here... Squiggle writing. The first three lines look a lot like they say the same thing. But the last line is longer.
IANTO : We came here...
GWEN : Because ?
IANTO : That's all it's said !
456 : You have no significance. You are middle men. Military chuckle.
IANTO : You have no significance, you are middle men.
GWEN : That's a lie, cos it's been here before that's why it's here now. Why... Why is it lying ?
IANTO : It's Frobisher. He's got that thing to lie. They're on the same side. Whatever happened in the past, they're hiding it. Clem straightens up and sniffs. Outside in the dark Jack in the swish car wooshes around a corner. He parks. And turns the lights out. The 456 are still in a puke green smoke box.
456 : We have a request.
FROBISHER : By all means.
456 : We want a gift.
FROBISHER : Of course. But... what nature of gift...
ON PC : What nature of gift exactly ?
IANTO : A gift.
FROBISHER : Gladly. But what d'you want ?
456 (Growling) : We want... your children. We will take your children. Hissing and banging and puking.
ODUYA : What does it mean, children ?!
IANTO : We will take your children.
RHYS : What the hell for ?
FROBISHER : I'm, I'm sorry, I think that there might be a problem, with the translation. Clem is pacing, upset.
CLEM : They want to take them, like they did before. Like the man did. (He sniffs). He's coming back. He's coming back.
GWEN : Not now Clem, just wait.
CLEM : He's coming, he's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. Fire burning in the foreground. Flashbacks on every "He's coming". Jack, in the coat, right there in 1965. And through the fire in 2009 a figure becomes clearer. Jack. Jack walks out of the shadows.
FROBISHER : By children, you mean... ?
456 : Your descendants. The offspring of the Human Race.
FROBISHER : How many ?
456 : 10%. We want 10%. We want 10% of the children of this world. Shocked faces and a slow zoom on a puke covered box of smoke. INT NIGHT warehouse Hub2 Clem is shocked, Gwen is trying to calm him. Jack is impassive, standing straight, almost to attention.
CLEM : He hasn't changed. He's the same. He's the same. He's the same. All those years. How can he be the same ?
GWEN : What's he talking about, Jack ?
JACK : Clement MacDonald. Just another name. It was easier, if you didn't know the names.
GWEN : You were there ? In 1965. Flashbacks clearer.
JACK : Walk into the light. Go on.
CLEM : He was the man !
GWEN : No, no, this is what he does, you see, he fights them. He fights aliens, isn't that right, Jack ?
JACK : No.
GWEN : Then what were you doing there ?
JACK : I gave them the kids. 1965, I gave them 12 children.
GWEN : What for ?
JACK : As a gift. END Credits
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Plan: A: Britain; Q: Where do the eyes of the world turn to? A: 456; Q: What number announces "We are here"? A: London; Q: Where does the pillar of fire descend? A: their own families; Q: Who must the members of Torchwood protect? A: the fight; Q: What gets personal? A: Clem; Q: Who's memories might destroy everything? Summary: The eyes of the world turn to Britain, as the 456 announce, 'We are here'. As a pillar of fire descends upon London, the members of Torchwood must battle to protect their own families, as the fight gets personal. But will Clem's memories destroy everything?
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•I do not own the characters or situations of BTVS, and I claim no credit for the content of this episode. I have merely transcribed what appeared on my screen, with help from the closed captions. •I prefer that you link to this transcript on the Psyche site rather than post it on your site, but you can post it on your site if you want, as long as you keep my name and email address on it. Please also keep my disclaimers intact. •You can use my transcripts in your fanfiction stories; you don't have to ask my permission. (However, if you use large portions of episode dialogue in your fanfic, I recommend you give credit to the person who wrote the episode.) •I apologize in advance for my lame transcription of the fight scenes. I don't know the names of different punches and kicks. Use your imagination.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Teaser
GILES VOICEOVER: Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer... Sandy rubbing Riley's chest. Sandy leaning in to bite Riley. He thrusts her away and she crumbles to dust.
DREG: This dark spell I hold in my worthless hand is our gift to you, Glorificus...
GLORY: (trying on a shoe) Please, call me Glory.
TARA: What if she's something else altogether?
GILES: Something new, you mean?
TARA: (shakes head) Something old. So old it pre-dates the written word. Glory in the warehouse with the tied-up monk.
SECURITY GUARD: Lady, whatever you are, please ... I have two daughters. Glory screaming and putting her hands on the security guard's head. Light streams out of his eyes and mouth. Glory makes a pained face. The guard slumping to the floor with Glory on top of him. Monk talking to Buffy.
MONK: The key ... is energy. My brethren sent it to you.
BUFFY VOICEOVER: Dawn.
GILES: She has no idea.
BUFFY: No. She thinks she's my kid sister. Buffy putting her arm around Dawn in the hospital, drawing Dawn's head onto her shoulder.
BUFFY VOICEOVER: I have to take care of her. Joyce in the CAT scan machine.
DOCTOR: Your mother has ... low-grade glioma. It's a brain tumor. Buffy reacting.
JOYCE: Listen you two, I know this creamed spinach is pretty delicious, but I promise, I won't be offended if you go out for some real food.
BUFFY: You kidding me? This is the good life. Relaxing in bed while people bring you food on trays.
DAWN: (licking fingers) I like the Jello.
JOYCE: (laughs) Help yourself. There's something about food that moves by itself that gives me the heebie-jeebies.
DAWN: It's good and wiggly. (speaks with mouth full) This girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground-up cow's feet, and that if you eat Jello there's some cows out limping with no feet. Joyce and Buffy grimace.
DAWN: But I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet. (Suddenly nervous) Right?
BUFFY: (to Joyce) You're the one who insisted on teaching her to talk. A doctor enters.
JOYCE: Oh, hello, Dr. Kriegel, um, you know my girls, (gestures to them) Buffy and Dawn.
DR. KRIEGEL: Yes, of course. You two are becoming part of the regular crew around here.
BUFFY: Just keeping her company.
DR. KRIEGEL: Good. Just be careful you don't wear her out.
JOYCE: Ohh, don't worry about that. I woke up exhausted, there's really no more exhausted to get. The doctor takes Joyce's chart and looks at it.
DR. KRIEGEL: Well, maybe some good news will help. The blood work's come back from the lab, and everything seems fine. So, we've scheduled your surgery for day after tomorrow at ten in the morning. Buffy and Joyce sober up at this.
DR. KRIEGEL: How's that sound to you?
JOYCE: Oh, well, I think they had me scheduled for volleyball, but, ah, we can work around it.
DR. KRIEGEL: (laughs) All right. Joyce, you take care. Make sure you get some good solid rest. And I mean that. (Exits)
JOYCE: Uhh, the day after tomorrow. I don't think I can stand to stay here another two days just waiting.
BUFFY: Waiting? Gimme a break, we got, we got tons to do.
DAWN: We have soap operas to watch and trashy magazines to read.
BUFFY: And an adjustable bed to fiddle with. That alone will keep me busy for four hours or so.
JOYCE: Oh, I really don't need you to stay here, Buffy. I know you've got patrolling to do.
BUFFY: Not tonight. Tonight I have mom-taking-care-of to do. And besides, Riley's filling in for me with the others. I'm sure they have everything under control.
Cut to: graveyard, night. Giles has a dark-haired female vampire in a choke-hold from behind while Willow attacks from the front. The vampire shoves Willow away and twists out of Giles' grip. Another female vampire, this one blonde, throws Xander to the ground as the first one throws Giles over her shoulder. The blonde vampire grabs Xander's shirt and pulls him upright. Willow gets to her feet, holding a stake. She rushes at the brunette vampire, but the vampire grabs her, lifts her over her head, and throws her to the ground. Xander rushes the blonde vampire from behind and she grabs him in a headlock and punches him in the face. Giles rushes the brunette vampire and tries to lift her over his shoulder but she punches him in the back and then knees him in the chest. The blonde vampire still has Xander in a headlock and is punching him. Giles reels to his feet, disoriented, and the brunette vampire punches him in the face. Xander breaks free of the blonde vampire and she punches him in the face with both her hands clasped together. Willow gets to her feet again as the two female vamps are beating up on Giles and Xander. She picks up her stake and runs forward. The brunette vampire throws Giles over her shoulder and as she straightens up, Willow comes up behind her and stakes her. Giles grabs for his own stake. The blonde vampire shoves Xander to the ground and tries to get on top of him but he gets his feet on her stomach and kicks her backward. He gets up and lunges at her but she deflects him and throws him against a crypt. He staggers to his feet and she puts her hand on his neck and shoves him back against the crypt. Giles lunges forward, shoves the vampire out of the way and raises his stake as if to stab Xander.
XANDER: Human chest! Human chest!
GILES: Sorry! The blonde vamp gets up, shoves Willow away as she approaches. Willow falls to the ground again. The vampire goes to where Giles and Xander are still standing by the crypt and shoves them up against it with one hand on each of their chests. They stare at her in alarm. Willow runs up behind the vampire and stakes her. The guys gasp and pant as Willow begins to grin.
GILES: My god, what a rough night.
WILLOW: (giggling, grabbing at Xander) I just did two of 'em! Yay on me! (giggles in exhilaration) Xander grins. The guys come on either side of Willow and they begin to walk off.
WILLOW: That was pretty cool. Except the part where I was all terrified and ... and now my knees are all dizzy. Giles stops them as he spots something on the ground and bends over to pick it up. It turns out to be his glasses.
XANDER: Not so much a big success night for me. (They resume walking as Giles begins cleaning his glasses on his shirt) But I think I should get points just for showing up. Unlike some Riley Finn who shall remain unnamed.
GILES: Yes, that was disappointing. Things would have been easier if he'd been here. (Puts glasses on)
WILLOW: Oh, piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti- (She suddenly staggers and they catch her, each grabbing an arm) Whoops. (smiles nervously at Xander) Maybe it would've been good if ... he'd shown up.
GILES: Perhaps he forgot. They walk off.
Cut to: exterior shot of an alley, doorway of what could be an abandoned warehouse.
Cut to inside. It's littered with random pieces of furniture and debris. Pan across the dark room to where Riley is sitting on an old armchair or couch. A female vampire is crouched next to him, drinking blood from his outstretched arm. She lifts her head and smiles at him. Riley is stone-faced. The vampire returns to feeding, gripping Riley's arm in both hands. He stares off into the darkness. Wolf howl. Opening credits. Guest starring Charlie Weber, Nick Chinlund, Kevin Weisman, Randy Thompson, Amber Benson as Tara and Kristine Sutherland as Joyce Summers. Written by Rebecca Rand Kirshner, directed by David Solomon.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act I
[SCENE_BREAK]
Fade in on hospital. Joyce is reading in bed while Buffy and Dawn are doing something at a nearby table. Willow enters with a large colorful paper bag.
WILLOW: Care package! Special delivery for the Summers girls. (Puts the bag on the bed next to Joyce. Dawn comes running over, as Buffy follows more slowly) Now, let's see what I have in this sack of mine. Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus, except thinner and younger and female and, well, Jewish. (Joyce smiles as Willow reaches into the bag) This (to Dawn) is an extra-special gift for your mom, that I know she'll need. (pulls it out) A beer hat! See, i-it's got cup holders, and a straw that goes directly into your mouth, and (to Joyce) you can fill it with other stuff than beer. And somehow, when I was in the store this seemed like the most important idea (Buffy and Dawn smile at each other. Buffy is holding a cup) and now there's the whole part where I'm crazy.
JOYCE: It's perfect. Thank you, Willow. You're very sweet. Willow hands the beer hat to Dawn.
WILLOW: Now, let's see, who's next? Dawn, I believe I have something in here for you... Joyce is now holding the cup. She puts her hand to her head and grimaces. Buffy looks concerned.
BUFFY: (quietly) Headache? Dawn stops smiling.
JOYCE: Just a little one. (smiles) A biggish little one. (Willow stops going through the bag, looks concerned) I'm fine! Go on, what else is in that sack of goodies, Willow?
WILLOW: All right. Dawn, to keep you busy. She takes out a book marked "Spells" and hands it to Dawn, who smiles in delight.
DAWN: Ooh, spells! Thank you, Willow! She hurries over to a nearby chair and sits down to read. Buffy folds her arms and looks at Willow.
BUFFY: You got her a book on spells. (Willow stops smiling) The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to ... break things by looking at them?
WILLOW: Oh, well, it doesn't actually have spells in it. Just history, and anecdotes, stuff like that. Shot of Dawn quietly reading the book.
WILLOW: Oh, Buffy- (reaches into bag) I have this for you. (Pulls out a large textbook called "World History" and gives it to Buffy)
BUFFY: Homework? (pouts) Oh. I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa any more.
WILLOW: (smiling) And a yo-yo. (Pulls yo-yo out of bag and gives it to Buffy)
BUFFY: (smiling) Thank you.
WILLOW: The book is just in case you get a chance to look it over. Shot of Joyce looking thoughtful.
WILLOW: (OS) We're doing World War One now. The last exam was really pretty easy, just underlying causes and trench foot. So it should be no hassle to make it up-
BUFFY: (sighs) I don't even know if I'm gonna take that exam.
JOYCE: (scowling) I'd rip it in half and stick it in bed with me! The girls look confused. Dawn looks up from her book.
BUFFY: (tentatively) Mom? Joyce looks confused.
JOYCE: You know, I think I'm gonna take a little rest now. She hands her cup to Buffy as Willow packs up her bag. Buffy puts the cup on a nearby table as Joyce lies back in bed.
BUFFY: Okay. We'll be right outside if you need us. Dawn gets up and they leave. Joyce smiles after them, then lies back and closes her eyes.
Cut to hallway. Dawn looks anxious as Buffy closes the door behind herself.
DAWN: (to Willow) What was she talking about? I mean, that was weird.
WILLOW: She's gonna be fine.
BUFFY: (joins them) It's okay. I'm sorry, the doctor spoke to me, and uh, I should have told you. Um, the, the thing that's pressing on her brain, sometimes it, it might make her say weird things.
DAWN: Does she know she's saying them?
BUFFY: Not really. It's sort of like a flash, you know, but you saw her two seconds afterward. She was normal.
WILLOW: And after the operation, no more pressing. She'll be all normal all the time. Buffy and Willow take Dawn's arms and they begin to walk down the hall.
DAWN: (to Buffy) Is that right?
BUFFY: Hey, Santa doesn't lie. Dawn and Willow smile. As they walk down the hall, a man passes them going the other way with three women. He brushes Buffy.
BUFFY: Oh, excuse me.
MAN: Careful, the facts say a-a picnic is in order. It's the security guard from the warehouse (see episode "No Place Like Home"). He turns around to look back at the three girls.
GUARD: What is that thing? He points at Dawn and walks back toward them, becoming agitated. The three women with him exchange a worried look.
GUARD: There-there's no data. There's no pictures on this one there! He continues pointing at Dawn. She looks scared. The guard's wife comes forward.
GUARD: What is the data? (scared) There's no one in there.
DAWN: (scared) Buffy?
BUFFY: (grabs Dawn and turns her away) Come on, honey. Don't worry about it. Buffy and Willow stare over their shoulders as they hustle Dawn away. The guard turns to his wife.
GUARD: I'm going home? (Wife nods) Home? Home, home, home. His wife escorts him away. Buffy, Dawn, and Willow turn back to look.
DAWN: What's wrong with him? (Shot of the guard being led away by his wife and daughters) Is it like Mom? A thing in his head?
BUFFY: (staring after the guard) I don't think so, I-I think it's, it's different. Don't, don't worry about it. (Brushes hair back from Dawn's face) Ben approaches.
BEN: I guess I missed that, was he bothering you?
BUFFY: Hey Ben, uh, this is my friend Willow.
BEN: Hi.
WILLOW: Hi. (They shake hands)
BUFFY: And, uh, yeah, the crazy man was a little ... you know, crazy, but it's okay. (Dawn still looks shaken) Are they really gonna send him home?
BEN: Don't get me started. The mental ward's booked beyond capacity, literally nowhere to put them, so the ones with families, they're letting 'em go home. Like his family's gonna be able to take care of him. He has to have someone to watch him 24-7! (looks at Dawn) What was he saying to you?
DAWN: I-
BUFFY: Oh, he was just babbling.
Cut to: aerial shot of Sunnydale, night. Pan across roofs and treetops.
Cut to: roof of a UCS dorm building. Willow and Tara are lying side-by-side on their backs on a sleeping bag, with pillows under their heads and another sleeping bag covering them.
WILLOW: You know what's weird?
TARA: Japanese commercials are weird.
WILLOW: Yes. And also, you know some of the stars we're looking at ... don't even exist any more? In the time that it takes for their light to reach us, they've died. Exploded. (Tara turns her head to look at Willow) Poof.
TARA: Were, um ... were things rough at the hospital?
Willow frowns and shrugs.
WILLOW: You know, I used to love to look up at them when I was little. They're supposed to make you feel all insignificant, but ... they made me feel like ... like I was in space ... part of the stars. (points) There's ... Canis Minor ... and ... (points) and Cassiopeia.
TARA: (smiles, points) And the big pineapple. Willow frowns.
WILLOW: Hmm. You know, I'm not sure I remember that one.
TARA: Oh, it's, it's a major one. (points) See those three bright stars right over there? Willow moves over to put her head on Tara's shoulder and look along Tara's pointing arm. Shot of the starry sky with Tara's finger pointing.
WILLOW: Yeah.
TARA: And see those stars along there? (Shot of the stars) That's the bottom of the pineapple.
WILLOW: It's big.
TARA: Hence the name. (pause) The real ones never made sense to me, I ... sort of have my own.
WILLOW: Teach me.
TARA: (points) See those stars over there? "Short man looking uncomfortable." They both giggle.
TARA: Uh... (points) "Moose getting a sponge bath." Umm... "little pile o'crackers." (Willow frowns) Tha-that was a bit of a stretch. (They both laugh) You do it. What would you call ... mm, that one? (points)
WILLOW: Hmm, let's see. Shot of the starry sky. One of the stars suddenly enlarges and streaks toward the earth, trailing a golden tail.
WILLOW: A huge flaming meteor about to crash into something! They scramble to their feet as the thing flies past them and lands somewhere in the distance. A burst of light momentarily flashes from behind trees.
Cut to: Darkness. Bits of flaming rubble slowly appear as we see from the perspective of something digging its way out of something. The camera moves jerkily as the something looks around, finds itself in a trench carved by the passage of the meteor. Our perspective rises as we climb up out of the trench and find rocky earth, surrounded by trees. In the distance we see the security guard walking toward us, alone.
GUARD: (muttering to himself) I know what I said. I said-I said I won't go away far. A person needs to respect a man. We see the guard from the perspective of something low to the earth, moving swiftly toward him.
GUARD: And then it says ... that... the facts says... he's got to go take a walk and get some fresh air and find some fresh spaces. He continues mumbling as we see from the perspective of something climbing a tree.
GUARD: ...and some fresh space! And needs to walk to get ... to get where he's going. Suddenly something drops down from the tree onto his back. It's a creature with a wrinkly gray face, cloven hooves, and a carapace like a cockroach's. The guard yells and falls to the ground. Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act II
[SCENE_BREAK]
Exterior hospital, night. Paramedics take a gurney from an ambulance and wheel it into the emergency room. Hospital noises. As they wheel the patient inside, we see the alien creature crawling along the ceiling above them. Shot of its face. Its eyes are red and its mouth is like a big circle ringed with long yellow teeth. It is hairless. Shot of the paramedics from the creature's point of view. Its vision appears slightly curved as if looking through a lens.
Cut to: Joyce in her hospital bed, holding the nurse call button, pushing the button again and again.
JOYCE: (irritated) This thing doesn't work! It isn't working!
BUFFY: I'm sure they heard you. (Takes the call button from Joyce and puts it aside. We see Dawn in the background reading.)
JOYCE: I bet it's not even hooked up to anything. Just like the push buttons at the crosswalk that are supposed to make the signal change.
BUFFY: I'm sure someone's on - What, the push buttons aren't hooked up to anything? The doctor enters.
JOYCE: Oh, tell him, Buffy. Tell him, okay?
BUFFY: Look, Dr. Kriegel, we wanna go home.
DR. KRIEGEL: Well, of course. You can come back and visit your mother first thing in the morning.
BUFFY: No. We. I-I mean, all of us. My mom too. Joyce looks anxiously at the doctor and nods.
DR. KRIEGEL: Oh. Well, I understand that, but it's not necessarily the first thing I'd recommend.
JOYCE: I can't! I-I can't stay here waiting for two days for this operation, I just can't. (Doctor sighs) It makes my head hurt to be here, can't you tell that?
DR. KRIEGEL: Joyce, there's no reason to get upset.
JOYCE: No reason to get upset? Oh, right, sorry, I must just think there is because of my brain tumor! Dawn looks upset. Joyce calms down slightly.
BUFFY: Here, Dawn, why don't you get something from the machine? Buffy hands Dawn some money. She takes it and leaves, looking apprehensive.
JOYCE: (softly to Buffy) I-I'm sorry I said that, I'm just tired.
BUFFY: I know. Listen, Doctor, I don't see why we can't take her home, you know, just until... (gestures) I-I mean, wouldn't it be better for her to rest someplace where she felt safe and comfortable?
DR. KRIEGEL: Even if it would mean some work for you, taking care of her?
JOYCE: (sighs and leans back in bed) Oh, thank god.
BUFFY: I'll do it, anything.
DR. KRIEGEL: (sighs, shakes his head) There are medications to administer, I'd have to go over those with you, and I'd need for you to check her vitals, watch her pretty closely. I'm afraid you won't get a lot of sleep.
BUFFY: (shrugs) I'm not much of a sleep person anyway.
JOYCE: (anxiously) Can we go now? (starts to get out of bed) Let's go now!
BUFFY: Oh, hold on! (stops her) Lemme get all the medications and all the instructions on how to do everything.
DR. KRIEGEL: She's right. Let's do this right. We don't wanna forget anything. Joyce sighs.
Cut to: Dawn sitting in the hallway reading her book. Shot of her from overhead, in the alien creature's point of view. Shot of Dawn reading as we see the creature crawling along the ceiling above her head.
Cut to: Willow and Tara walking through forest, night. Then we see Riley, Xander, Anya, and Giles walking behind them. Giles has a flashlight.
RILEY: Everyone stay close. (to Xander) I'm glad you called me in on this.
XANDER: Glad you answered.
RILEY: Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about last time. Heard I missed out on some fun.
XANDER: Oh, yeah, fun was had. Also frolic, merriment, and near-death hijinks.
RILEY: Look, there it is. (Pushes past Willow and Tara) They approach a long trench in the ground. It's about four feet deep, ten feet wide, and several hundred feet long. At its end there's a large chunk of what looks like rock. They all run up to the edge of the trench. Riley jumps down into it as Giles moves his flashlight over the rock.
WILLOW: Wow. We have meteorite. The rock at the end of the trench is steaming or smoking.
ANYA: Is it hot? Riley puts his hands toward it.
ANYA: 'Cause, uh, if there's radiation, you could like go all sterile. Riley looks alarmed. Xander jumps backward. Riley touches the rock carefully.
RILEY: No, it's not hot. It's warm. And broken. (Kneels to look at it. Everyone stares.) It's sort of-
GILES: Hollow.
RILEY: Yeah.
ANYA: So, uh, we're all thinking the same thing, right?
XANDER: Festive pinata? Delicious candy?
WILLOW: Something evil crashed to earth in this and then broke out and ... slithered away to do badness.
GILES: In all fairness, we don't really know about the slithered part.
ANYA: Oh, no. I'm sure it frisked about like a fluffy lamb.
TARA: Let's look around. Maybe we can figure out where it went. They move off. Riley climbs out of the trench to join them. They all go a little way into the woods. Willow moves around some trees and finds the security guard lying on the ground.
WILLOW: It went here! They all rush over. Riley kneels by the body and feels its neck.
RILEY: No pulse. Xander joins Riley by the guard's head.
ANYA: Yep, the space lamb got 'im. (Giles gives her a disgusted look)
XANDER: I don't see any marks on him.
WILLOW: I-I know him! He, he was at the hospital, a mental patient. They released him today. Everyone leans down to look at the body. Riley takes out a pen and brings it toward the guard's mouth.
GILES: Uh, Riley, what are you doing?
RILEY: I'm not sure, there's something... He sticks the pen in the guard's mouth and it comes out covered with a clear slimy substance. Everyone reacts at the same time, making disgusted noises and covering their noses as it obviously smells bad.
RILEY: Oh, that might be toxic, don't touch it.
XANDER: Oh yeah, touching it was my first impulse. Luckily I've moved on to my second, which involves dry-heaving and running like hell. (straightens up) Oh, man, does that smell.
ANYA: So what do we do now?
WILLOW: We can't call Buffy. (beat) I wanna call Buffy!
TARA: You can't. She's got ... life stuff. That has to come first.
WILLOW: So, so we'll just figure this out ourselves. We're experienced.
ANYA: Yes, 'cause it seems like we're always dealing with creatures from outer space. Except that we don't ever do that.
RILEY: (gets up) This is definitely new territory.
GILES: Perhaps we should explore a bit more, head into the woods a bit. They all look into the woods. It's dark and scary-looking.
XANDER: Who votes research? Everyone raises their hands and starts to walk away, except Riley.
WILLOW: Research.
RILEY: Yeah, I think that's a good call. There could have been some other cases like this. I'm gonna stay here, examine the body some more, look around a little bit.
XANDER: Yeah, don't do anything hunterly.
RILEY: No, no, I'm just not great at research, which I'm sure you guys figured out. I like me a good crime scene.
GILES: Um, give us a call if you need help.
RILEY: Believe me, something jumps out at me in the dark ... you'll hear me even without the phone. Call me if you learn anything.
WILLOW: You got it. The group starts to move off.
WILLOW: (to Giles) I don't wanna be the one who finds the bodies any more. Riley watches them go, crouching next to the body. Then he gets up and takes out his cell phone, dials.
RILEY: I need to speak to the man at the desk. This is A ... this is Riley Finn. You have an Agent Miller, Graham Miller, he'll tell you who ... Yes. Emergency frequency.
Cut to hospital. Pan across a sign reading "Psychiatric Ward." Cut to a ward containing five beds with patients in them. A nurse is moving from bed to bed. One of the patients is muttering.
PATIENT: Cold. Cold. The nurse moves over to him. His arms are in restraints. The nurse pulls the blankets up over him. Then she turns off the light on his nightstand and walks away.
PATIENT: Wait! You can't go! (snorts) Don't you be that kind of barn owl! (Nurse continues walking away) Please! Please don't go! Please! He begins to cry as the nurse turns out the overhead light and leaves the room.
PATIENT: Please! Please! Please don't- He looks around the darkened room and whimpers in fear. We hear scurrying noises. The patient twists around trying to look under the bed, panting.
PATIENT: I can't see you! I can't see you! I can't see you! We see the tail of the alien creature moving behind his bed. Then it climbs up on top of him with a squeal.
Cut to the nurse sitting at her desk doing paperwork. She hears the patient scream and looks up, then goes back to her paperwork.
Cut to the ward. The creature is on top of the patient with its cloven hands on his chest. It spits clear slime out of its mouth all over his face, making a squealing noise. Shot of the nurse still doing paperwork, eating chocolate.
Cut to Dr. Kriegel in the hospital hall checking some paperwork as Joyce stands behind him, dressed.
DR. KRIEGEL: Well, I guess we're all set then. He turns and we see Buffy and Dawn on either side of Joyce. The doctor hands Buffy a piece of paper and three pill bottles.
DR. KRIEGEL: You've got my home phone number, pager number, and here, these are the medications I talked to you about. The sedative and so forth, painkillers.
BUFFY: Right. No problem.
DR. KRIEGEL: Now, if this is gonna be too much for you, we can make your mom perfectly comfortable here.
BUFFY: No. No, no, I-I got this. We really, really appreciate-
JOYCE: (to Buffy) You look just like your father when he cries. Shot of the four of them from the alien's perspective. Shot of the alien on the ceiling a few feet down the hall, watching them. We can hear Joyce talking but the words are inaudible. Cut back to the group.
BUFFY: (to doctor) I-I told you she's been-
DR. KRIEGEL: I know. Joyce? (Joyce is staring dazedly at Buffy) Joyce. (She looks at him) We're all done here. Why don't you take your girls home now.
JOYCE: Yes. Yes, thank you. Thank you for all your help, doctor.
DR. KRIEGEL: I'll see you in a couple of days. He walks off. The Summers women turn away, Buffy and Dawn flanking Joyce and linking their arms through hers.
JOYCE: Oh, let's get the hell outta here. Shot of the three of them from the alien's POV as it watches them walk out.
Cut to: overhead shot of Sunnydale, night.
Cut to: inside foyer of the Summers house. The door opens and Buffy enters followed by Joyce and Dawn.
BUFFY: Here we go.
JOYCE: Oh, it's nice to be home. Buffy closes the door behind them and turns on the lights. Joyce winces and puts her hand to her eyes.
DAWN: Do you wanna go in to bed, Mom?
JOYCE: Buffy, no, that light is too bright. It's too bright. Buffy rushes to turn the lights off again. Dawn rubs Joyce's shoulders.
BUFFY: Oh, okay, okay!
JOYCE: It's too bright. Buffy, it hurts. It hurts, it hurts my eyes.
BUFFY: It's off, it's off. You know what, (to Dawn) why don't you turn off the lights in the living room, (to Joyce) and I will take you upstairs and we'll shut off all the lights up there. Okay? Come on. Buffy leads Joyce upstairs as Dawn moves into the living room. Exterior shot of the house as the downstairs light goes off and then the upstairs ones. The porch light remains on. Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act III
[SCENE_BREAK]
Fade in on an aerial view of a pond surrounded by trees, with the alien landing trench beside the pond and a person standing next to it. A helicopter flies into the shot and moves toward the trench. Cut closer as the helicopter search light illuminates the trench and the person, who we see is Riley. The copter lands and several commandos in black clothing and black berets get out and run toward Riley. The one in the lead speaks.
ELLIS: You Finn?
RILEY: Yeah.
ELLIS: Major Ellis. I'm in charge of this op. (Shakes Riley's hand) What's the situation, just the one civilian casualty?
RILEY: That I know of. This way. They all begin to walk. We see that one of the other commandos is Graham.
GRAHAM: You found a stiff in the woods and called us in? Don't you usually call your girlfriend for this kind of thing? He grins. Riley gives him a dirty look. They walk up to the body and Ellis kneels beside it.
RILEY: I wouldn't touch that stuff in his mouth if I were you.
ELLIS: Toxic?
RILEY: No, just messy. (Ellis stands) Guy seemed to have simply choked on the stuff. (Tosses Ellis a small vial) Near as I can tell, it's some kind of protein alkaloid. Ellis holds up the vial and looks at the slimy stuff in it. Riley gestures and the others follow him. They walk off toward the trench.
ELLIS: Does this fit the profile of any Sub-T you're familiar with?
RILEY: Not subterrestrial, Major. Extraterrestrial. (Leads them to the rock at the end of the trench) It came outta that.
ELLIS: Miller, set the trackers for a protein signature.
GRAHAM: Yes sir.
RILEY: No good, Major. This alkaloid's breaking down at an accelerated rate. It's dissolving too fast to track.
ELLIS: You got a better idea?
RILEY: Thing came from space. Gotta be some trace radiation.
ELLIS: We have Geiger counters in the packs.
RILEY: Shouldn't be too much background gamma noise out here.
ELLIS: Break 'em out. They all walk off.
Cut to: exterior of the Summers house, still dark except the porch light.
Cut to: Buffy and Dawn on the living room sofa, watching TV. Dawn rests her head on Buffy's shoulder. Canned laughter from the TV. View from the alien's perspective as it moves along the ceiling, through the foyer and toward the living room. It sees the girls, turns, sees Joyce coming down the stairs in her nightgown and robe. She walks into the kitchen. Cut back to Buffy and Dawn watching TV. There's a noise from the kitchen as of dishes clinking together. They both look up. Buffy picks up the remote control and turns off the TV.
DAWN: Mom? More crashing noises. Buffy and Dawn get up.
Cut to Joyce bending over, looking in the refrigerator. The kitchen is dark. There's a sizzling noise. Buffy and Dawn come in.
BUFFY: Oh, my- Dawn goes to Joyce as Buffy rushes to the stove and turns it off, moving a pan off the burner and coughing as whatever's in it gives off smoke. Joyce straightens up, holding the fridge door, and turns to give Buffy an annoyed look.
BUFFY: Mom, wha-what are you doing?
JOYCE: (angrily) I'm making breakfast. (closes fridge, looks Buffy up and down) And you shouldn't eat any more, you're disgustingly fat. Buffy looks hurt. Joyce looks confused.
JOYCE: Oh, Buffy, I don't know what I'm doing.
BUFFY: You just need some rest. We'll put you back to bed. She and Dawn take Joyce's arms and lead her out. As they walk past the door leading down to the basement, we see that it's slightly ajar and there's light coming from below. Shadows on the door indicate that something is moving around in the basement.
Cut to Joyce's bedroom. Buffy is closing a pill bottle as Joyce swallows some water.
BUFFY: Okay, here we go. (Takes glass from Joyce) That will help you sleep. Come on, let's get you all tucked into bed. Buffy and Dawn stand on opposite sites of the bed and pull the covers over Joyce as she lies down. Buffy picks up Joyce's bathrobe and moves away as Dawn leans over to caress Joyce's forehead. Suddenly Joyce gasps and sits up, staring at Dawn.
JOYCE: Don't touch me! You - you thing!
DAWN: (backing up) Mom, please!
JOYCE: Get away from me! (Buffy comes over and Dawn gives her an anxious look) You're nothing, you're, you're a shadow!
BUFFY: Mom-
JOYCE: I don't know what you are or how you got here!
BUFFY: Mom, it's Dawn. Dawn backs away, upset, and runs out of the room.
JOYCE: Dawn? Honey, what's wrong? The door slams behind Dawn. Buffy turns to Joyce.
BUFFY: She's .. just tired. We all are. (She coaxes Joyce to lie down, which Joyce does, looking worried) Come on, go to sleep. I'll check in on you in a little bit. (Exits)
Cut to Buffy entering Dawn's room. Dawn is sitting on the bed.
DAWN: (teary) She hates me.
BUFFY: (kneeling beside the bed) No.
DAWN: She called me a thing.
BUFFY: She loves you. Okay? She's not herself. (puts her hand on Dawn's) I told you what the doctor said about the tumor.
DAWN: (shakes head) No, not just Mom. People. They keep saying weird stuff about me.
BUFFY: Are you talking about the man in the hospital?
DAWN: He called me a thing too. And there was another one. Weird guy outside the magic shop. (Buffy looks concerned) He said I didn't belong. He said I wasn't real. (Buffy sighs) Why does everybody keep doing that? What's wrong with me?
BUFFY: Nothing. It's not you. I think there's something that happens in people's brains when there's something wrong. It's, it's like a short-circuit ... and it makes them feel like nothing's real except for them. That's all it is. Dawn looks unconvinced.
BUFFY: Look, it is not you. (Gets up to sit on the bed next to Dawn) Okay? And if anyone says anything like that to you again, don't listen. Even if it's Mom. Dawn stares at her, then shakes her head.
DAWN: (softly) I hate it.
BUFFY: I know. (puts her hand on Dawn's shoulder) Just don't listen.
Cut to: Xander staring at a small model of the solar system, which is hanging above his head. Behind him we see Giles and Willow sitting at a table covered with books. There are bookshelves everywhere.
XANDER: Look at how teeny Mercury is compared to, like, Saturn. Whereas in contrast, the cars of the same name-
GILES: Xander, please, we have work to do here.
XANDER: (walks toward them) I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster. (Sits)
GILES: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space. (Pauses) I did not say that. Xander gives Giles an amused look. We see Willow is working on a laptop computer.
GILES: (in lecture voice) Demons enter our world in all sorts of ways, this one came from above.
XANDER: And the university library's astronomy section is the home of aboveness. Got it. Hey, take in the study material, too. (Holds up a book titled "Meteors and You!") Anya and Tara approach.
TARA: We've been scouring all the international periodicals for any other meteorite landings in the last week.
ANYA: Big zippo. (Sits)
GILES: Well, then it would appear that the world is not being invaded.
TARA: I'm pretty pleased about that.
WILLOW: Uh, guys? I've got some stuff. (Everyone looks at her.) The most recent meteoric anomaly was the Tunguska blast in Russia in 1917. (Giles gets up to come behind her and look at the screen) Some witnesses claimed the meteor was hollow.
XANDER: Hmm. Maybe with a chewy demon center like ours.
GILES: How far back does this list of anomalies go?
WILLOW: Pretty far. Back to the Queller impact in the twelfth century.
TARA: The what?
WILLOW: Queller. I-I don't know why they call it that, it didn't hit a place called Queller or anything. It landed just outside of Reykjavik in Iceland.
XANDER: Wait, I just saw... (flipping pages) Queller. Quell ... here, here! "Primitive people used to believe that the moon was a cause of insanity. Sometimes they would pray to the moon to send a special meteor to fix the problem the moon had caused. These meteors were expected to *quell*" (slams the book down on the table) the madmen.
TARA: The man in the woods. He was a mental patient.
XANDER: And he got pretty well ... quelled.
WILLOW: Okay, I'm looking in history right now. It says in the Middle Ages there were these sweeping plagues of madness. People were losing their marbles everywhere. But then it would suddenly subside. And these dates look pretty close. Like-like maybe it happened after each one of the meteor events.
GILES: So something emerged from the meteors ... and quelled the madmen.
XANDER: Meteor go boom, crazy guy goes bye-bye.
TARA: Xander's little book made it sound like this Queller thing had to be summoned. So ... who summoned it?
XANDER: Who else? My money's on Glory, our resident beastie summoner.
WILLOW: We should call Buffy. E-except we can't call Buffy. (looks up at Giles) Can we?
GILES: No, but we better call Riley.
Cut to Riley talking on his cellphone.
RILEY: Queller demon?
WILLOW: (on phone) Yeah, that's our perp. (Cut to Willow on a pay phone in the library) It's sort of a scavenger that can be summoned to kill-
RILEY: (on phone) Crazy people.
WILLOW: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cut to Riley in the hospital psychiatric ward. We see another commando in the background.
RILEY: 'Cause I've got five corpses here at the mental ward at Sunnydale Memorial.
WILLOW: (on phone) You're at the hospital? Oh, listen, Riley, I ... I saw Buffy's mom earlier, and she was acting kinda ... wacky. Insane wacky, if you know what I mean?
RILEY: It's okay. Joyce was released earlier today. That intern, um, Ben, told me. They're safe at home.
WILLOW: Oh, good. A-and the thing, the Queller, is it still there?
RILEY: We - I think I've got it cornered in the air ducts. Ellis comes up and taps Riley on the shoulder, then nods to him. Riley holds up a finger to say "just a moment."
RILEY: Look, Willow, keep at what you're doing. Call me if you find out how I can kill this thing.
WILLOW: Well, okay, but shouldn't we come help- (She hears a dial tone as Riley has hung up) Oooookay. (Hangs up and walks away)
Cut to Joyce in bed, talking angrily.
JOYCE: I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played! Overhead shot of Joyce lying on her bed, on her back with her knees bent and her hands on either side of her head. The blankets are shoved to the end of the bed.
JOYCE: I just didn't know. Those eyes ... (grimly) Those eyes, they're like gasoline puddles! (quieter) Tell me. Tell me because I need to know why, why are you staring at me like that?
Cut to Dawn in her room, lying in bed. Joyce can be heard still talking. Dawn hugs a stuffed animal and listens unwillingly.
JOYCE: (OS) What are you asking me? You are asking me, aren't you? Is this a test? And if this counts for the final grade, I need to know now! (Dawn makes faces, not wanting to hear this) Okay, there are teachers, and they put this on the syllabus, but they do not stare down at you, they do not cling, (teary) they do not look down on you... Dawn grabs her pillow and pulls it over her ears, trying to blot out the sound, but she can still hear it.
JOYCE: (crying) You know there are people who are nice, and they give you presents, even when you are bad.
Cut to kitchen. Cheerful Spanish music is playing on the radio. Buffy turns up the volume and begins washing dishes. She bites her lips as she works, trying not to cry, but after a few dishes she begins to sob. She wipes her nose with the back of her hand, tries to compose herself, then breaks down in tears, putting her hand over her face. Cut back to Joyce's bedroom. She is still lying on her back talking to the ceiling.
JOYCE: Does someone know you're here? Because they should have told you that at the gate. You are *not* supposed to be here. I need to rest now. I-I don't like the way you're staring at me! (She pauses for a moment, staring wide-eyed) Did they tell you that at the gate? Side shot of Joyce in her bed and the Queller on the ceiling above her.
JOYCE: (firmly) Stop staring at me, I don't like it! The Queller squeals. Blackout.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Act IV
[SCENE_BREAK]
Exterior hospital. Graham comes out the door, holding a Geiger counter. He walks a few steps staring at it, then stops as Ellis, Riley, and other commandos emerge behind him.
GRAHAM: Trail stops here, edge of the parking lot.
ELLIS: It stops? (Graham nods)
RILEY: A car. It hitched a ride. Probably underneath. So much for containment.
ELLIS: So some poor mental patient checks out of here today, drives away with this thing, (Riley looks alarmed) took it right to his own home.
RILEY: Checked out today.
ELLIS: (to another commando) Get me a list of all patients discharged in the last 24 hours.
RILEY: No. I know where it's going. We've gotta move, now! They rush off.
[Transcriber's Note: As near as I can tell there are three doors to Joyce's bedroom. One leads to the hallway; the one next to that leads to Dawn's room; and the door on the other side of the bed leads to Buffy's room. The bathroom is across the hall from Dawn's room and has two doors, one going to the hall, the other going into Buffy's room. This is relevant for the following scene...]
Cut to Joyce still in her bed staring up at the alien.
JOYCE: I'm going to close my eyes, and when I open them, you are going to go away.
The Queller squeals and drops down on top of Joyce. She screams. Dawn hears the scream and gets up. Joyce struggles against the Queller.
JOYCE: Get off me! It spits its slime onto her face. She shakes her head trying to dislodge it. Dawn opens the door and sees the demon on top of Joyce. She gasps. The Queller looks at her as she grabs a coatrack from her room and shakes the clothing off of it. She attacks the demon with it, shoving it off the other side of the bed. Most of the slime seems to have hardened on Joyce's face. She pulls it away, gasping and panting. Dawn looks around, scared. The Queller arises from behind the bed and launches itself at Dawn, squeaking. She screams and runs back into her room. The Queller chases her, crawling along the floor. Dawn runs through her room and out into the hall, as the Queller enters the hall from Joyce's room. Dawn runs into the bathroom and slams the door.
DAWN: Buffy!
Cut to Buffy still crying in the kitchen. The radio and the running water from the sink are loud, so she doesn't hear Dawn yelling. She wipes hair back from her face and sniffles. Dawn runs through Buffy's room and into Joyce's room from the other door. Joyce is sitting up on the bed, clawing at her face and gasping. Dawn closes the door, grabs an exercise bike and pushes it in front of the door, runs to the other door (leading to her own room) and slams it shut too.
Cut to Buffy in the kitchen. She splashes water on her face, reaches for a towel and dries her face.
Cut to Dawn in Joyce's room. She opens the door leading into the hall, and yells as loud as she can.
DAWN: BUFFY!
Buffy hears the scream and whirls around, dropping the towel. Dawn slams the door shut again. Buffy races out of the kitchen, down the hall and up the stairs. She opens the door to Joyce's room and finds Dawn and Joyce on the bed, still wiping slime off of Joyce's face.
BUFFY: What? What is it?
DAWN: There's something out there, Buffy. It's after Mom!
BUFFY: You guys stay in here. Don't leave this room. As Buffy closes the door, the Queller drops from the ceiling and lands on her face. She grabs it and they struggle, slamming against a wall and then tumbling down the stairs. The Queller squeaks and crawls away. Buffy rubs her neck and looks around in confusion.
Cut to Joyce and Dawn on the bed in the dark bedroom, hugging each other tightly.
JOYCE: It's okay, my baby. It's okay. Dawn stares at the door over her mom's shoulder, looking scared. Buffy walks slowly through the dark house, looking around for the Queller. She goes into the kitchen, goes over to the knife rack and takes out the largest knife. She spins around wearing her tough-Slayer expression and continues looking around, moving back toward the hallway. We hear creaking noises. As Buffy nears the door to the basement, it suddenly pops open. She jumps in alarm and raises the knife. Spike emerges from the basement and gives her a wary look. Buffy sighs. Spike closes the basement door.
BUFFY: Spike?
SPIKE: Yeah. Listen, uh, did you hear a noise?
BUFFY: What the hell are you doing in my house?
SPIKE: Right then, caught me. (takes a deep breath) Your basement's full of junk. And me being in need of, uh, junk...
BUFFY: (can't believe it) You were stealing?
SPIKE: Well, yeah. Can't exactly work the counter at Burger Barn, can I? He has something in his hand. He tries to slip it into his pocket without being noticed, but Buffy spots it.
BUFFY: Wait, are those pictures of me? The Queller attacks from the left, jumping onto Spike's face and knocking him to the ground. He cries out as he lands on the floor with the Queller on top of him, choking him. They struggle. Buffy grimaces and raises her knife, looking for an opening. Spike's flailing foot kicks Buffy's hand and the knife flies away. Buffy winces in pain and makes an exasperated face. The Queller turns and sees Buffy. It squeals and attacks her as she moves toward it. They slam against a wall and fall down with the Queller on top. Buffy punches it and throws it off her, starts to scramble backward on her butt, into the hallway toward the front foyer. Spike picks up the knife and whirls around.
SPIKE: Buffy! He throws the knife to her. She catches it just as the Queller knocks her down again and climbs on top of her. She stabs the knife into its back. It screams. Buffy stabs it again and again until it stops screaming and falls still. Buffy gasps and makes a pained face, rolling the Queller off of her, then lying back with a sigh. Spike holds out his hand. Buffy takes it and he pulls her to her feet. Just as she rises, the door bursts open and Riley comes in, followed by the commandos. Spike and Buffy turn and see more commandos coming in the back door. The commandos yell random orders to each other. Riley looks at Spike and Buffy apparently holding hands. Spike gives him a sour look.
RILEY: (to Buffy) Are you okay? Buffy frowns at him, then rushes to the stairs.
SPIKE: (to Riley) You just missed a real nice time. Riley looks down and sees the Queller lying dead with the knife in its back. Buffy bursts into Joyce's bedroom.
BUFFY: It's gone. I killed it.
JOYCE: (relieved) Oh god.
DAWN: It's gone? You promise?
BUFFY: I promise. (Both Dawn and Joyce hug her, putting their heads on her shoulders. She puts her arms around them) Everything's all right. Everything's all right.
Cut to: exterior hospital, night. Ben comes down some stairs, walks over to a car, unlocks it and gets in, looking around nervously. As he closes the door, a voice speaks up from the back seat.
DREG: It's strange. (Ben looks up, startled, and looks at him in the rear-view mirror) A body might ask what exactly it is you think you're doing. He might ask what all this was meant to accomplish. Because to a humble postulant, it looks like chaos. Like unnecessary attention drawn where it ought not to be.
BEN: (angrily) Get out!
DREG: Sir. Dreg gets out, stands by the driver's-side window.
DREG: Sir, forgive me. I just want to understand. Why summon the Queller?
BEN: What do you think? Because I'm cleaning up Glory's mess. Just like I've done my whole damn life. He starts the car and drives off as Dreg watches.
Cut to hospital. A nurse is putting an IV in Joyce's arm as Buffy sits on the bed by her, holding her other hand. Joyce winces as the needle enters her arm. The nurse finishes and leaves. Buffy sighs.
JOYCE: Buffy, uh, (clears throat) I'm gonna ask you something, a-and if I'm, if I'm being crazy you just tell me, okay?
BUFFY: (nods) You got it.
JOYCE: The other day ... well, actually, I'm, I'm not sure when, the days seem to all bleed together...
BUFFY: It's not important.
JOYCE: No, I guess it isn't. I do know I was ... pretty out of it, and I had ... not-not a dream ... exactly, more like I had this ... knowledge, i-it just came to me like ...truth, you know? (Buffy frowns) Even though it didn't seem...possible, even though I shouldn't even think such things.
BUFFY: What?
JOYCE: That Dawn... Buffy looks very startled.
JOYCE: She's not ... mine, is she? Buffy stares at her mom, then looks down. She comes to a decision and looks Joyce in the eye.
BUFFY: No. Joyce absorbs this for a moment.
JOYCE: She's ... she does belong to us, though.
BUFFY: Yes, she does.
JOYCE: And she's important. To the world. Precious. (Buffy nods) As precious as you are to me. Buffy smiles and nods again. Joyce nods back.
JOYCE: Then we have to take care of her. Buffy, promise me. If anything happens, if I don't come through this-
BUFFY: Mom-
JOYCE: No, listen to me. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter. I have to know that you'll take care of her, that you'll keep her safe. That you'll love her like I love you.
BUFFY: (teary) I promise.
JOYCE: Good. Good. They hug.
JOYCE: Oh, my sweet brave Buffy. What would I do without you? Buffy hugs her mom tightly, looking as if she'd like to ask the same question.
Cut to Joyce on a gurney, being wheeled away. She has one arm up behind her head and she smiles down the hall as she moves backward. Shot of Buffy and Dawn with arms around each other, watching. Behind them we can see Riley, Xander, Anya, Giles, Tara, and Willow. The camera moves back from them as if we see them from Joyce's perspective. Shot of Joyce looking very calm as the nurses take her away. Shot of the others watching. The camera continues to pull back from them and then fades to black.
Executive Producer: Joss Whedon.
|
Plan: A: Buffy; Q: Who kills the alien? A: Dawn; Q: What is the name of Buffy's sister? A: surgery; Q: What is Joyce preparing for? A: an extraterrestrial preys; Q: What preys on Sunnydale's mental patients? A: Joyce; Q: Who is Buffy's mother? A: Joyce home; Q: Where does the alien follow Joyce? A: The alien; Q: Who was summoned by Ben to clean up Glory's mess? Summary: As Buffy and Dawn help their mother prepare for surgery, an extraterrestrial preys on Sunnydale's mental patients and follows Joyce home. The alien was summoned by Ben to clean up Glory's mess, and Buffy kills it.
|
"The Cinderella in the Cardboard"
[SCENE_BREAK]
TEASER
[OPEN: INT. GARBAGE DUMP - DAY. Two workers, JUAN and BARNEY, are standing around, about to move packed cardboard.]
JUAN: Hey, who's the new guy?
BARNEY: That's not a guy. (turns to female worker, whistles) Hey, baby! (to JUAN) I swear to God, I'd give my left cajone to take her for a spin.
JUAN: Hey, the Lord is not pleased with lustful thoughts, man.
BARNEY: Hey, He put her here. If He wants me to keep it in my pants, tell Him to send me a sign.
[JUAN and BARNEY pull a block of packed cardboard, turning it to its side.]
JUAN: Holy Mary, Mother of God.
BARNEY: (kneeling down) It's the Blessed Virgin. Please forgive me.
[JUAN makes a sign of the cross while BARNEY dials a number on his cell phone.]
JUAN: (into phone) Mama! Llame al padre Fisher, digale que miré la bendita Virgen; aqui en el trabajo. Si, es un milagro mama. Es un milagro! [Translation: Call Father Fisher, tell him that I saw the Blessed Virgin; here at work. Yes, it's a miracle, Mom. It's a miracle!]
[CUT TO: INT. GARBAGE DUMP - DAY. Police tape is surrounding the scene. Curious workers are observing. Enter BOOTH, BRENNAN, and CAM.]
BOOTH : All right, let's go everybody. Move back. Hello? FBI. Watch out. Excuse me. Watch out. You folks clear a path, please. (ducks under police tape) Thank you, let's go.
POLICE OFFICER: Folks, I'm gonna ask you to please stay back. This is an active crime scene.
BOOTH: Whoa. (makes a sign of the cross) Oh, my God. It's the Virgin Mary.
CAM: Have you googled the grilled cheese Jesus? 'Cause that was just a faulty griddle.
BRENNAN: We're here because someone suspected a crime, Booth.
BOOTH: Oh, I'm just saying, life is a lot more than what you can cook up in your chemistry sets. Miracles do happen.
BRENNAN: Well, religious visions are nothing but pareidolia, random stimulus being perceived as significant.
BOOTH: Oh yeah, did you ever hear of the Shroud of Turin, Dr. Burn-In-Hell?
CAM: Sorry, big guy. That was debunked 20 years ago. Carbon dating doesn't lie.
BRENNAN: Neither does phenolphthalein. (holds up pink cotton pad) This was not a miracle. It's dried blood.
BOOTH: Oh, all right. Let's get this bale of hay down. Come on.
[Two police officers begin moving the packed cardboard.]
BOOTH: All right, here we go. Don't got all day. There you go.
[BOOTH cuts the wiring attaching the cardboard together.]
CAM: All right. Let's do it.
[BOOTH, BRENNAN, and CAM begin moving the cardboard. A few layers down, a dead body is revealed.]
BRENNAN: Careful.
BOOTH: Whoa! Okay. Okay, I'm going to give you this one. Maybe it's not a miracle.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. BRENNAN, CAM, and WENDELL are examining the body.]
BRENNAN: The fractures I can see are consistent with the baling machine.
CAM: Based on lack of hemorrhagic tissue, she was dead before ending up on the baler.
BRENNAN: Can we remove her from the cardboard?
CAM: Not until she's completely processed. I don't even know how I'm going to tox her. The cardboard soaked up most of her bodily fluids.
WENDELL: Her blouse looks like it's got patches of glaze on it.
BRENNAN: Could be extruded body fat.
CAM: Ooh, hello, maggots. Maybe Hodgins can use these little devils to give us time of death.
WENDELL: The second joints of the victim's middle toes have been shaved. I think she was tortured.
BRENNAN: (examining the toes) No. The victim had her toes surgically shortened.
WENDELL: On purpose?
CAM: For vanity. Women love shoes.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BOOTH'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN and BOOTH are speaking to DR. MARCUS SCHEER, the victim's plastic surgeon.]
SCHEER: Like I said on the phone, this is definitely my patient. I remember I threw in a toe tuck for free.
BOOTH: A toe tuck?
SCHEER: What can I say? Toes are the new nose.
BRENNAN: The Board of Plastic Surgeons hasn't approved this for elective surgery.
SCHEER: They haven't condemned it either.
BOOTH: Right, okay. So, who's our girl?
SCHEER: Oh, um, Meriel Mitsakos. She wanted the surgery 'cause she was getting married. Had her eye on a pair of Christian Louboutin sandals, but her middle toes stuck out. I said it was an easy fix.
BOOTH: What, you cut her toe off, so she could fit into a pair of shoes?
BRENNAN: Self-mutilation for an antiquated ritual. It's barbaric.
BOOTH: Well, come on, marriage is very important to a lot of people, Bones.
BRENNAN: It's ridiculous. No one can guarantee how they're going to feel about someone for life. We're not a monogamous species.
BOOTH: Marriage has been around since the beginning of time.
BRENNAN: Women from Amazonian tribes expressed their love by spitting in their partners' faces. I hope we've progressed past that.
BOOTH: Okay, well, you know what? Sometimes love trumps logic.
BRENNAN: Love is a chemical process which causes delusion. An intellectually rigorous person would never get married.
BOOTH: Never say never.
BRENNAN: That's a paradox. It makes no sense.
SCHEER: Am I still needed here? Because if you two are having relationship issues... BRENNAN: (grimacing) We're not a couple.
BOOTH: We just work together, that's all.
[Uncomfortable looks are exchanged.]
BRENNAN: Merial Mitsakos was murdered.
BOOTH: And as of now, you're the only one we know who's taken a knife to her.
OPENING CREDITS
[CUT TO: FBI BUILDING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is asking the victim's fiancé, BOB CAVERLY, and the victim's best friend, GENIE GORMON.]
CAVERLY: Meriel wanted everything to be perfect for our wedding.
BOOTH: Including her feet?
CAVERLY: I told her I loved her just the way she was, but that... that doctor made her... feel like her feet were unsightly. You checked him out, right?
BOOTH: Yeah. He was in Europe at the time of Meriel's murder.
GENIE: Meriel was my oldest friend. I was going to be her maid of honor. She asked me in tenth grade.
BOOTH: Why would Meriel plan a wedding if she didn't have a groom?
GENIE: You had to know her. Meriel got everything that she wanted. And all she ever wanted was to be a bride.
CAVERLY: But don't misunderstand. We loved each other very much.
BOOTH: Listen, Mike, when was the last time you saw her?
CAVERLY: Four days ago. About 2:00. We had a... wedding cake tasting.
BOOTH: I don't want to come off as sounding offensive, but do you think maybe she got cold feet?
CAVERLY: We were in love. All we wanted... was each other.
BOOTH: I'm very sorry for your loss.
GENIE: Just find out who did this to Meriel.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. WENDELL is pulling a fluoroscopy machine over the body. Enter ANGELA.]
ANGELA: Where did this come from?
WENDELL: The Egyptology department.
ANGELA: They let you borrow it?
WENDELL: Oh, well, no one was using it.
ANGELA: Tell me you're kidding.
WENDELL: No. I left a note.
[ANGELA chuckles in disbelief.]
WENDELL: Uh, well, Dr. Saroyan won't let me take the victim off the cardboard, and Dr. Brennan's going to kill me if I don't get her complete X-rays, right?
ANGELA: Wendell, you cannot just take a-
WENDELL: Fluoroscopy machine. I've always wanted to use one, and this is the perfect opportunity.
[Enter CAM.]
CAM: I just got a call from Ethan Lawrence in Egyptology. Something about a Post-it note where his fluoroscopy machine used to be.
WENDELL: Oh, um, well, their victims have been dead for thousands of years. There's very little chance of catching the perpetrators. I figured it was a priority thing, right?
CAM: No, really it's more of a firing and arrest thing. Did you really think for one minute-
WENDELL: I found something! Looks important. Very important. Would have gone unnoticed without the, uh, fluoroscopy. (looks at CAM) I'm sorry. Did I interrupt you, Dr. Saroyan?
ANGELA: Oh-ho-ho, he's good.
CAM: Just show me.
[WENDELL zooms in to the pelvic bone.]
CAM: Something embedded in the anterior superior iliac spine.
[CAM uses tweezers to remove something from the body.]
WENDELL: What is it?
CAM: A straight pin.
ANGELA: Right. Dead bride wearing a strapless bra, plus a straight pin. She must have had a bridal gown fitting right before she died.
[CUT TO: SOME BRIDAL PLACE - DAY. Shoppers are checking out bridal gowns. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]
BOOTH: Yeah, well, according to her maid of honor, this is where she ordered her dress.
[Enter LUCIA BERTOLINO, manager of the store. She is pushing a rack of gowns.]
LUCIA: Size six, coming through!
[A hoard of women begins scrambling toward the rack, running into BOOTH and BRENNAN.]
BOOTH: Ow, ow. Ladies, watch the toes. Man, these women are crazy.
BRENNAN: Well, you know how I feel about weddings.
BOOTH: Yeah, what's happening here is definitely not about love.
LUCIA: Hello. (looks BRENNAN up and down) Ah, you're beautiful. (pointing) Your size is on that rack.
BOOTH: Oh, no, we're not looking for a dress.
BRENNAN: No, never. Ever. Ever.
LUCIA: Oh, cold feet. You'll get over it. You two are obviously meant for each other.
[BOOTH and BRENNAN look at each other and chuckle awkwardly.]
BRENNAN: No... BOOTH: We're, uh, looking for the manager.
LUCIA: I'm Lucia Bertolino. Is there a problem?
BOOTH: I'm Special Agent Seeley Booth. (flashes badge) This here is my partner Dr. Temperance Brennan.
BRENNAN: (points to a bouquet of flowers in a glass case) How are these treated?
LUCIA: We dip them in glycerin. They're free-dried. They last forever.
BOOTH: I'm sure they do. Listen, we're investigating a murder. We believe the victim was here getting a bridal fitting shortly before she was killed. Uh, a Meriel Mitsakos.
LUCIA: Oh. Hard to forget Miss Mitsakos. She had a fight with Anya, our best bridal consultant. She was screaming at her, and calling her incompetent.
BOOTH: Right. Is Anya here today, working?
LUCIA: Actually, I had to let her go. Anya slapped her. Miss Mitsakos threatened to sue. I didn't have a choice.
BOOTH: Did Anya show any other signs of violence?
BRENNAN: Was she dealing with something else in her life?
LUCIA: Oh, this place was her life.
BOOTH: Well, I'm going to need her contact information.
LUCIA: Oh, Anya couldn't kill anyone.
BRENNAN: Well, had she ever slapped anyone before?
LUCIA: (realizing) Let me get it for you.
BOOTH: Thank you.
[Exit LUCIA.]
BOOTH: (reaching for a gown) Oh, come on, Bones, huh? (picks up a gown) You must've dreamt about being a bride before your heart turned to stone.
[A shopper plucks the dress out of BOOTH's hands.]
BRENNAN: Just because I don't want to take part in a meaningless ritual doesn't mean that I'm not a warm and affectionate person. There are even some children who have taken to me.
[BOOTH looks over to see DAISY WICK standing on a platform, trying on a dress. An unknown man is standing in front of her.]
DAISY: Oh, my God, I love it! Isn't it perfect? Do you think it's perfect?!
BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) It's Daisy!
BRENNAN: What?
BOOTH: (grabbing BRENNAN) Turn around. Turn around. That's Daisy Wick. Sweets' girlfriend. Don't look. No, she cannot see us.
BRENNAN: Why?
BOOTH: Why? Because she is buying a wedding dress, and some guy is hugging her.
BRENNAN: She's marrying someone else without telling Sweets? Don't you think he'd be upset about that?
BOOTH: Yeah, of course.
BRENNAN: Well, I like Sweets. We should tell him.
BOOTH: No, no, no. No. No. It's got to be our little secret. Shh.
[Return LUCIA with the information BOOTH had requested.]
LUCIA: Here's Anya's information.
BRENNAN: Oh, thank you.
BOOTH: Thanks.
LUCIA: (picking up a veil off a rack, to BRENNAN) You know, this veil would be perfect for you, dear.
BRENNAN: Oh, well, it's a symbol of virginity, and I've been sexually active since I was-
BOOTH: (interrupting) Okay, Bones, we really have to get going. (to LUCIA) Thank you so much for your help. (guiding BRENNAN away) Come on, this way.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BREAK ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are discussing SWEETS and DAISY.]
BRENNAN: A woman buys a wedding dress to get married, Booth. You know, if you're such a strict adherent to monogamy, then shouldn't you warn Sweets that he's being cuckolded?
BOOTH: There are complicated emotions that are involved here. It's definitely not your thing.
BRENNAN: It's a matter of honesty.
BOOTH: Bones, just trust me on this one, all right? It's none of our business. It's none of our business.
[Enter SWEETS.]
SWEETS: What's none of your business?
BOOTH: Hi!
SWEETS: Hey.
BOOTH: Hey! We were just discussing our latest case.
SWEETS: The dead bride?
BOOTH: Yeah.
SWEETS: That would be completely your business though, wouldn't it?
BRENNAN: (nodding) Mm-hmm.
BOOTH: No, we were just... SWEETS: Am I missing something?
BRENNAN: Daisy.
SWEETS: What?
BOOTH: No, crazy. Daisy. You must really miss Daisy.
SWEETS: Yeah, we manage.
BOOTH: Let me ask you a question. Could dealing with crazy brides all day make someone, you know, snap and commit murder?
BRENNAN: No, the bride snapped first. She had a fight with the bridal consultant.
SWEETS: Right. Well, if the bride's physical or emotional needs are not met, yeah, she might act out. Violence is rare though. Infidelity is more common; using some disposable sap as an emotional Band-Aid.
BOOTH: Right.
BRENNAN: Fascinating.
BOOTH: (to BRENNAN) Let's go.
BRENNAN: (to SWEETS) So a woman could be buying her wedding dress with her fiancé, and spending her free time with her lover.
BOOTH: Right, but, uh, physical violence is definitely a possibility, right?
SWEETS: Yeah.
BOOTH: So we gotta get going. Come on, Bones.
SWEETS: It is, but you interrupted Dr. Brennan.
BOOTH: (over BRENNAN's protests, to SWEETS) We have somewhere we have to be. We're late. See you later. Later.
[BRENNAN hands SWEETS her coffee mug. Exit BOOTH and BRENNAN.]
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are interrogating ANYA PERTEL.]
ANYA: I worked at Bertolino's for 29 years. No matter what a bride looked like coming in, when I was done with her, she was beautiful. But that one, Miss Mitsakos, ugly from the inside out.
BOOTH: Okay, why don't you just tell us about Meriel.
ANYA: Every time she dropped a pound, she made me adjust that bodice, which would have been fine, but Friday, she decided instead of a drop waist, she wanted a natural waist. She suggested I start from scratch. She insinuated I didn't know what I was doing; that her dress issues were my fault. She pushed me away. Pushed me!
BRENNAN: And then you slapped her?
ANYA: No. I slapped her after she threw the pins at me.
BOOTH: You got fired. You must have been angry.
ANYA: I pride myself on being a gentlewoman. I would rather not talk about this any further.
BOOTH: I understand. Just one more thing. You had Meriel's personal information - her account, address, et cetera. Can you account for your whereabouts the day after you got fired?
ANYA: I know what you're implying, Agent Booth. I was at home. I live alone. But I have spent the last 29 years bringing joy to young women.
BRENNAN: So, no alibi.
ANYA: I am a gentlewoman.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. Enter CAM and WENDELL.]
CAM: Hodgins found gravel in her hair, but death by gravel is unlikely.
WENDELL: Time to get her off the cardboard?
CAM: How? She's basically been absorbed into the substrate. We could cut underneath, but that runs the risk of compromising the bones.
WENDELL: We have to scrape her off.
[Enter HODGINS. He approaches the computer.]
HODGINS: Look at this. Tox screen results on the pureed maggots: tequila. The maggots were hammered.
CAM: Which means Meriel was, too.
HODGINS: Yeah, but it gets better. The weird glaze on the vic's clothing wasn't extruded fat. It was glycerin.
WENDELL: According to Dr. Brennan, Bertolino's uses glycerin to preserve bridal bouquets.
CAM: Looks like Bridezilla might have messed with the wrong old lady.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION PLATFORM - DAY. Enter CAM, HODGINS, ANGELA, WENDELL and a lab assistant with a large metal platter.]
WENDELL: I used to work at Anthony's Famous in Georgetown.
HODGINS: Oh, that is some seriously good pizza.
WENDELL: The secret is the crust. It's all in the crust.
CAM: Does this relate to our victim at all?
WENDELL: This is basically how we get the pizzas out of the oven. And every pie was perfect. Everybody ready?
ANGELA: This is so far out of my job description, it's not even funny.
HODGINS: Okay, we are in.
CAM: Mm, she's sticking.
WENDELL: It was always tough getting the pie out. The cheese would bubble over onto the oven and stick. The pie could break apart. I wouldn't serve a pie like that.
CAM: Can we save your war stories for a more appropriate time, Mr. Bray?
WENDELL: Yeah.
CAM: (as she and the team slide the platter between the body and the cardboard) Careful. Careful of the skull.
HODGINS: Okay, perfect.
WENDELL: Now that's something I'd serve.
[CAM and ANGELA shoot WENDELL looks.]
WENDELL: (backtracking) If she were a pizza... which she's not. So-so, I'll-I'll stop now.
HODGINS: Ready?
HODGINS: Carefully. Careful.
WENDELL: Can I remove the flesh?
CAM: Knock yourself out.
[INT. FOUNDING FATHERS BAR AND GRILL - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are discussing the case over coffee.]
BRENNAN: So, do you think the bridal consultant killed Meriel?
BOOTH: Not really, but, you know, hey, I've been wrong before.
BRENNAN: You're usually quite certain.
BOOTH: No, that would be you, Bones, okay? (mocking BRENNAN) I'm never getting married.
BRENNAN: You've never married.
BOOTH: Well, I will.
BRENNAN: That's impossible to know.
BOOTH: You know what? Obviously, you have issues with this, so next time we see Sweets, you should bring it up?
BRENNAN: Sweets is having an affair with a woman who's engaged. He's hardly one to give advice.
BOOTH: You know what? You are scared. That's what it is. You're scared of love.
[Enter SWEETS and DAISY.]
SWEETS: Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth. Hey, mind if we join you?
BOOTH: Look at that. It's Sweets and Daisy.
DAISY: Dr. Brennan, it's so good to see you. I want you to know, that even though you fired me twice, I have nothing but warm feelings toward you.
BRENNAN: Then you wouldn't mind if I spoke freely?
DAISY: Of course not.
BOOTH: All right! (rising from his seat) We were just leaving.
BRENNAN: No, we haven't gotten our food yet.
BOOTH: We don't need the food.
DAISY: (sitting in BOOTH's seat) Oh, great!
BOOTH: And she sits.
DAISY: (to BRENNAN) You know, every time I get stuck on my dissertation, I think to myself, "WWBD."
BRENNAN: I have no idea what that means.
DAISY: "What Would Brennan Do?" I mean, it really should be "WWDBD" - "What Would Dr. Brennan Do?" but that seems unnecessarily formal since I'm only thinking it silently.
SWEETS: (chuckles) Isn't she cute?
BOOTH: (mockingly chuckles) Yeah, she's adorable. (to BRENNAN) Come on.
BRENNAN: Multiple wives is the norm in most of the world. Sweets and Daisy would have no problem if the same were true here.
SWEETS: Beg your pardon?
BOOTH: You see, Bones is just so into the murder of this bride, that the facts just start pouring out.
(to BRENNAN) You would really kick ass on that Millionaire show. Come on.
DAISY: I can only imagine what it would be like to have your brain.
BRENNAN: That's true.
BOOTH: Oh, look at that. Text flying in. We gotta go.
BRENNAN: I don't see a text.
SWEETS: Hey, how about the four us grab some Mongolian barbecue tonight?
DAISY: Oh, I'm busy. I already have plans.
BRENNAN: With whom?
BOOTH: That's none of our business.
DAISY: I have yoga class. (to SWEETS) You don't mind, do you, Lancelot? (grabbing SWEETS' tie) It makes me limber.
BOOTH: Oh, here we go. We really have to get going here. Come on. Come on. Let's go.
SWEETS: Uh, so we can take your table?
BOOTH: Have the food, too.
SWEETS: All right!
DAISY: Wow, they're so nice.
BRENNAN: (to BOOTH, on their way out) If they want a healthy monogamous relationship, they should be forthright and honest.
BOOTH: Yeah, well, that's not the way a relationship is supposed to be.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - EXAMINATION ROOM - DAY. BRENNAN and ANGELA are working with the cardboard.]
ANGELA: Most of the boxes don't have any identifiable markings, but the surface scratches on this one look like they may be handwriting.
BRENNAN: Daisy Wick is having an affair.
ANGELA: Really?
BRENNAN: She's getting married, and she's cuckolding on her fiancé with Dr. Sweets.
ANGELA: Poor Sweets. He loves her.
BRENNAN: Booth doesn't want to tell him. He says it's none of our business.
ANGELA: Exactly.
BRENNAN: But wouldn't it be kind to spare Sweets any emotional pain Miss Wick's infidelity might cause him?
ANGELA: If Sweets is in love with Daisy, and she's cheating on him, somewhere inside he knows. And if he doesn't, then it's because he doesn't want to. Will you hand me that lemon juice?
BRENNAN: I think you are correct.
ANGELA: Good. A person's love life-
BRENNAN: The scratches on the cardboard should take on a higher concentration of lemon juice than the surface area.
ANGELA: You just want to tell him, don't you?
BRENNAN: Sweets says that he's an expert in human psychology. He should be able to handle a problem this common.
ANGELA: Come on, sweetie, be kind.
BRENNAN: Of course.
ANGELA: Look, it looks like we can read the writing on the box. Okay, "Champagne Lounge, 271 Beloit Avenue, Washington, DC."
[CUT TO: INT. CHAMPAGNE LOUNGE - NIGHT. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]
BOOTH: I'll tell you what. You know what, Bones? These bubbles are gonna stain my suit.
BRENNAN: These bubbles are formed using glycerin. Maybe that's how the glycerin got on Meriel's clothes, not the flowers.
BOOTH: Yeah, right.
[BOOTH and BRENNAN approach the BARTENDER.]
BOOTH: Hey, Buddy, over here.
BARTENDER: What can I get you?
BOOTH: Information. You working here Friday night?
BARTENDER: Yeah.
BRENNAN: Do you recognize this woman?
BARTENDER: Oh, wish I didn't. She sent her drink back three times. Dirty martini? Too dirty. Mojito? Too sweet. Vodka on the rocks-
BOOTH: All right. Who was she with?
BARTENDER: I don't know. Some guy.
BRENNAN: Well, her fiancé's about 185 centimeters, rectangular cranial structure, dominant maxillary bone.
BARTENDER: Look, all I remember is that the dude paid for her drinks.
BOOTH: Probably used a credit card, so why don't you go look for those receipts for me?
BARTENDER: Must have served a thousand drinks Friday. When I get a chance, I'll look for it.
BOOTH: You should get the chance soon. Or better yet, why don't you think about it while I go card these two blondes over here.
[The BARTENDER turns back to retrieve receipts.]
BOOTH: Thanks.
BRENNAN: (noticing boxes) What do you do with those boxes?
BARTENDER: Recycling dumpster off the back alley. Why?
[CUT TO: EXT. ALLEY BEHIND CHAMPAGNE LOUNGE - NIGHT. BOOTH and BRENNAN leave the club and enter the back alley.]
BOOTH: All right, well. All right, you know, it always stinks in the back alley, doesn't it? (to a young couple making out against the wall) Come on. Okay, let's go. Break it up. FBI. Come on. Back inside.
All right, no worries. Thank you.
BRENNAN: Pea gravel. (leaning down to pick up a handful) Hodgins can determine if it's a match for what we found in the victim's hair.
BOOTH: Right. (takes out phone and dials) Yeah, Special Agent Booth, 22705. Look, I need a crime scene unit here at 271 Beloit. Back entrance. Thanks.
[BOOTH takes out a flashlight and begins looking around. BRENNAN is scanning the area with a UV light. BOOTH finds a jewel-covered cell phone.]
BOOTH: Oh! Look at that, huh? (leaning down to pick it up) I think I may have found the woman's cell phone. Yeah.
BRENNAN: Booth?
BOOTH: What do you got?
BRENNAN: Come here.
[BOOTH approaches. BRENNAN removes her UV goggles and puts them on BOOTH's face.]
BOOTH: Oh, thanks. (looking down) We got some blood there, huh?
[SCENE_BREAK]
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - NIGHT. ANGELA is working on the recovered cell phone. BRENNAN is watching.]
BRENNAN: Booth says that if we can pull the call history, he won't have to subpoena the phone company records.
ANGELA: Yeah, I've heard of that place, the Champagne Lounge. A lot of couples use the alley for a quickie. (about the cell phone) Okay, well, it looks like it's just the battery.
BRENNAN: Maybe she was regretting her decision to limit her sexual activity to one man.
ANGELA: You just can't let it go, can you? (tweaking the cell phone) All right, this ought to do it. All fixed.
BRENNAN: Well done.
[The cell phone rings.]
ANGELA: Oh, my God, she's getting a call. What-what... what do you want me to do?
BRENNAN: Answer it.
ANGELA: Oh, my God. It's Hodgins.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HALLWAY - DAY. Enter BOOTH, BRENNAN, ANGELA, and HODGINS.]
HODGINS: Okay, this is embarrassing.
BOOTH: Yeah, it's worse than that because your picture just popped up on a dead woman's cell phone.
HODGINS: Because my phone was within 100 yards of hers.
BOOTH: Hey, don't go all squinty on me, okay, Hodgins? I want an explanation.
HODGINS: It's a dating service.
ANGELA: You're using a dating service?
HODGINS: Yes. Along with millions of other people. It's called "Date or Hate?" When a potential match is within 100 yards, both our cell phones ring. You can either press "date" or "hate." If we both press "date," then we get each other's cell numbers.
BRENNAN: But Meriel was engaged. Why would she be using a dating service?
HODGINS: I don't know. Maybe she forgot to cancel.
BOOTH: Guys, s*x. It's a no-brainer.
BRENNAN: Is that your reason? Because weren't you and Angela sexually compatible?
[ANGELA and HODGINS exchange looks.]
HODGINS: It's not about the s*x. I was looking for a meaningful connection.
ANGELA: I get it, Jack.
HODGINS: You do?
ANGELA: Yeah.
BOOTH: Hey, guys, dead body, all right? Murder. Did you know the victim before she was a pizza?
HODGINS: No. But she would definitely have many other potential dates. You should talk to the agency. The "Date or Hate?" offices are local.
[HODGINS's phone rings.]
BRENNAN: (looking at the screen) Doesn't she work in the cafeteria?
BOOTH: Ouch. She just pressed "hate." You're out.
HODGINS: (taking phone back) Okay, all right, just...
[CUT TO: INT. DATE OR HATE HEADQUARTERS - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN meet with the owner of Date or Hate, KURTIS ROSSI.]
ROSSI: We have 8,000 registered users in the DC area, and almost 200 marital success stories.
BOOTH: Well, one of your registered users, a Meriel Mitsakos, was murdered.
[ROSSI appears uncomfortable, sighing deeply.]
BRENNAN: Did you know the victim?
ROSSI: No, but I'm in the process of securing venture capital to take my company national. If this gets out, I could lose my investors.
BOOTH: Right. Well, we're going to have to take a look at Meriel's "Date or Hate?" activity.
ROSSI: Oh, that's private.
BOOTH: Well, she's dead, Mr. Rossi. Or maybe your investors would like the publicity of a court order.
ROSSI: (sighs and turns back to his computer) In the last month, she was matched with 20 potentials. She hit "hate" on 14 of them, "date" on five. She never responded to the last guy - a Jack Hodgins from earlier today.
BRENNAN: When did she last press "date"?
ROSSI: 7:45 p. m. last Friday.
BOOTH: That was the night she was murdered.
BRENNAN: Do you have a name?
ROSSI: Owen Smith. He pressed "date," too.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is interrogating BOB CAVERLY.]
CAVERLY: I don't believe it. There's no way Meriel was cheating on me.
BOOTH: You're sure?
CAVERLY: We were engaged, Agent Booth.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY. SWEETS is taking notes. BRENNAN is standing by.]
BRENNAN: Would you want someone to tell you if your girlfriend was cheating? Or do you favor denial?
SWEETS: No, I mean, I'd know if Daisy were cheating on me, Dr. Brennan. I'm trained to recognize the subtleties of human behavior. So, it's a moot point.
BOOTH: (over speaker, to CAVERLY) You know, I think you found out she was cheating. I mean, she wasn't really discreet.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY.]
BOOTH: (continuing) Using your cell phone to meet other guys. It's understandable that you snapped.
CAVERLY: Are you sure about this list?
BOOTH: Yeah.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - OBSERVATION ROOM - DAY.]
BOOTH: (over speaker, to CAVERLY) That's what makes it so understandable. Where were you the night that she disappeared?
CAVERLY: (over speaker, to BOOTH) Dance class. Genie told me how important that first dance was to Meriel, and I just wanted to be perfect for her.
BRENNAN: (turning to SWEETS) In our sessions, you put a high premium on honesty, don't you, Dr. Sweets?
SWEETS: Of course. You think he's lying?
BRENNAN: Uh, no. I'm talking about you and Daisy. (long pause) She's engaged to be married, and she's sleeping with you behind her fiancé's back.
SWEETS: What? No. You're wrong, Dr. Brennan. That can't be. You're wrong.
BRENNAN: Obviously, you can't read all the psychological subtleties that you think you can. (pause) Booth and I saw her trying on her wedding dress with her fiancé. He hugged her and twirled her around in the air.
SWEETS: That's impossible, Dr. Brennan. I would have known.
BRENNAN: This is denial, right?
SWEETS: No, I mean... (realizing, quietly) Oh, God.
BRENNAN: Booth felt that I shouldn't tell you, that it was none of our business, but I think that now you can make an informed decision. Either share Miss Wick... or move on.
SWEETS: I'm sorry. Could-could you excuse me for a moment. I need-I need a minute to myself.
BRENNAN: Sure. Booth is finished anyway, so...
[Exit BRENNAN.]
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. ANGELA is seated at her desk. CAM and WENDELL are standing behind her, watching.]
WENDELL: I found fractures on the piece of the cranium inconsistent with the compression from the baler.
[ANGELA is flipping through images of the crushed body.]
WENDELL: (pointing) Stop. That's a good one. Dr. Brennan thought we might be able to find the cause of the fracture by reexamining photos of the tissue.
CAM: Isolate her head full frame.
ANGELA: I don't see anything, guys.
WENDELL: We're not looking on the surface, we're looking beneath it.
ANGELA: Okay, well, I need to enhance the details. I can shower the image with various wavelengths of light. Next, I apply the filter software. Finally I blacken the blacks, maximize contrast, and sharpen the focus.
CAM: Perimortem bruising.
ANGELA: That's a tire tread.
WENDELL: She was run over by a car.
CAM: Seems like our victim was flattened before she was flattened.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - BOOTH'S OFFICE - DAY. BOOTH is arranging files. Enter BRENNAN.]
BRENNAN: Hi.
BOOTH: So her fiancé's alibi checks out. He was dancing the night away.
BRENNAN: I told Sweets about Daisy.
BOOTH: (annoyed) Bones, why?
BRENNAN: Well, I felt like I was lying to him by keeping it to myself. How about the others?
BOOTH: Huh? The others? He was dating other people?
BRENNAN: No, the other suspects in Meriel's murder. What about Owen Smith?
BOOTH: The Bureau's doing a background check. Smith, he was using a disposable phone, and his e-mail accounts were cancelled. According to Kurtis, it's a common MO for married men to get a little something-something on the side. Why did you have to tell Sweets? He's going to come in here, he's going to cry and stuff.
[Enter SWEETS. He knocks at the door.]
SWEETS: Excuse me.
BOOTH: (under his breath) Oh, God.
SWEETS: Um, you have a minute?
BRENNAN: Of course.
SWEETS: I was talking to Agent Booth. I'd like a minute alone.
BRENNAN: Sure.
[Exit BRENNAN.]
SWEETS: Well, I'll get right to it. Uh, Dr. Brennan told me that Daisy is engaged to another man.
BOOTH: I'm sorry, Sweets. I... SWEETS: It's okay, it's okay. Dr. Brennan was being honest. I appreciate it.
BOOTH: (sighs) No, you don't. (getting up) Come on.
SWEETS: I don't! I don't! I feel like an idiot!
BOOTH: Have a seat. Come on.
SWEETS: Daisy, she's been canceling on me all the time lately. Like yoga the other day, and, you know, recently, at night, when she's over, the frequency of our (gesticulating) our intimate relations... she says that she's been tired because of her dissertation.
BOOTH: I get it.
SWEETS: It was right in front of me, right in front of me all along. (sighs) I'm a failure, as a lover and a psychologist.
BOOTH: No, no, it's not true. Sweets, these things, they happen.
SWEETS: Okay, what should I do? I don't have many manly-man friends like you that I can talk to. What would a guy-guy do in this situation?
BOOTH: Are you asking me if you should fight for her?
SWEETS: Do you think I should?
BOOTH: If you were your own patient, what kind of advice would you give yourself?
SWEETS: Impressive. Turn the question back on me. It's a classic therapeutic technique. (beat) It's really, really annoying.
BOOTH: Did it work?
SWEETS: Yeah, I should confront her. I should be candid. You're right. You're right. It's the only way. Thank you.
BOOTH: Any time.
SWEETS: It was very helpful.
BOOTH: The session's over.
SWEETS: (chuckles) Um, hey, you think maybe we could... hug? Like men, of course. It'd be comforting for me-
BOOTH: No.
SWEETS: -under the... No?
BOOTH: No. I don't hug things out. You know, we just kind of (punching SWEETS on the arm) good slug on the arm. It's more of a manly thing to do.
SWEETS: Okay.
BOOTH: Okay.
SWEETS: Sure.
BOOTH: Okay?
SWEETS: Could you do it again?
BOOTH: Sure. (punches SWEETS on the arm, laughs) Want more?
SWEETS: No.
BOOTH: Oh. See ya.
SWEETS: Thank you.
[Exit SWEETS, grimacing in pain.]
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. Enter BRENNAN, ANGELA, and CAM. They approach the Angelator.]
ANGELA: Wendell's data suggests that she was struck by an SUV.
BRENNAN: The patella fractures are several centimeters higher than a standard car bumper.
ANGELA: (to CAM) You didn't find any incised wounds with glass or paint, did you?
CAM: No, why?
ANGELA: I'm just confirming that the victim didn't wrap around the hood, which means that her center of gravity thrust her backward, something like this.
[ANGELA enters variables into the Angelator.]
ANGELA: (to BRENNAN) Hey, uh, whatever happened to your online dating thing?
BRENNAN: I didn't have the time to properly sort through all the potential matches.
CAM: (to ANGELA) You thinking of trying it?
BRENNAN: I think Sweets should sign up.
CAM: Did you really tell Sweets that Daisy was cheating on him?
BRENNAN: Everyone seems to think that I've done something terrible. I didn't want to lie.
CAM: In this case, it was definitely the way to go.
ANGELA: Okay, ladies, It's ready.
[A model forms on the Angelator. A model SUV runs into a model person, sending her flying. The three women flinch.]
ANGELA: In newer model SUVs, the grill protrudes almost as far as the bumper. It's like being hit by a battering ram.
CAM: I thought you said you found tire treads on her head?
ANGELA: No, I'm not finished. Assuming this was done on purpose, the driver backed up to see where his victim had landed. And then, he gunned it.
[The Angelator shows the model SUV running over the model victim's head.]
BRENNAN: The multidirectional fractures on the skull are consistent with a tire's downward vertical force.
CAM: The killer ran her down, and then made sure she was dead by running her over again.
BRENNAN: That is much worse than anything I might have done to Sweets. I'll call Booth.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - HODGIN'S WORKSTATION - DAY. HODGINS is standing in front of a microscope. Enter WENDELL.]
WENDELL: Excuse me, Dr. Hodgins.
HODGINS: Yeah.
WENDELL: I wanted to tell you that I'm going to the Founding Fathers for a drink tonight with some friends. Girlfriends.
HODGINS: Girlfriends.
WENDELL: Yeah. I've got a bunch of friends who are girls and we get together and hang out like we're guys. (pause) It's not as confusing as it sounds. Most of them are single.
HODGINS: (chuckles) Trying to fix me up there, Wendell?
WENDELL: I'm offering you an opportunity to meet some great people.
HODGINS: Who have breasts.
WENDELL: That they do. I think they'd like you.
HODGINS: You don't really know me.
WENDELL: I grew up on the streets, Dr. Hodgins. It doesn't take me long to get a feel for someone. First round's on me.
[CUT TO: EXT. PARKING LOT - DAY. BRENNAN and WENDELL are searching for an SUV matching the given description.]
BRENNAN: Booth got the name of the victim's drinking partner from the bartender at the Champagne Lounge. Joe Fillion. He works in this building.
WENDELL: (pointing) There's another SUV. DC plates, F793A4.
BRENNAN: Those plates are registered to Joe Fillion.
WENDELL: So this guy ran her down, then backed up and ran over her again? That's a bad date. (crouching down next to the SUV) These stains could be blood.
BRENNAN: What was the height of the patella fractures?
WENDELL Uh, 54 centimeters.
BRENNAN: (turning around) Undo my necklace. I need to measure if the point of impact matches.
WENDELL: What happened to your measuring tape?
WENDELL: I don't know. It's missing. There was a Post-it note from the Egyptology Department in its place.
BRENNAN: (measuring) Exactly one and a half lengths high. Consistent with the patellar point of impact.
WENDELL: The victim's skull was crushed by a tire.
BRENNAN: It was the approximate cause of death, yes.
WENDELL: The victim had black hair, right?
BRENNAN: Yes.
[WENDELL picks up hair off the tire with tweezers and shows them to BRENNAN.]
BRENNAN: I think we found the murder weapon.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH is questioning JOE FILLION.]
BOOTH: So, were you at the Champagne Lounge to meet women in general or Meriel in particular?
FILLION: No, I was meeting Meriel. Look, there's no secret - her friend Genie knew. I wanted to get my engagement ring back.
BOOTH: You were engaged?
FILLION: Yeah, she broke it off when she met that Mike guy. The ring was my grandmother's.
BOOTH: Did she give the ring back?
FILLION: No. She sold it to pay for her wedding.
BOOTH: She sold your grandmother's ring?
FILLION: Are you kidding me? That's only the half of it. When we were talking, her cell phone rang. It was one of those "Date or Hate?" match thingies. And Meriel presses "date."
BOOTH: Ugh.
FILLION: I mean, can you believe that? She's screwing over her new fiancé, too.
BOOTH: Wow, that must've made you mad, Joe.
FILLION: Yeah.
FILLION: Oh, come on, look, man, you're not going to blame me for this. All right, no, look, she is not going to screw me again!
BOOTH: Whoa, look at that. That is the Lab calling. They tore apart your SUV. Anything you want to tell me before I pick this up?
FILLION: Yeah. (pause) I want a lawyer.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - HALLWAY - DAY. Enter BOOTH and BRENNAN.]
BOOTH: Well, you know, he didn't do it. At least not with that vehicle.
BRENNAN: What about the hair and the blood?
BOOTH: Uh, he hit a dog last week. When he talked about it, he burst out into tears. You know, he was more upset about that than he was about Meriel.
BRENNAN: Well, she lied to him and he hates her for it. Cam thinks that I should've deceived Sweets, too. You know, I don't understand. Our lives are devoted to the pursuit of truth.
BOOTH: Bones, you can't go around telling everybody what's on your mind even though it's the truth. Okay, look, what if you and I were going out, right, and you were, you know, taking forever to get ready and you came out in this dress, and I told you I didn't like it. What are you gonna do?
BRENNAN: I'd reevaluate, change, or ignore you.
BOOTH: Of course you would, Bones, good answer.
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. HODGINS and ANGELA are looking at photos.]
ANGELA: These are the guys that Meriel met on that "Date or Hate?" We're looking for Owen Smith. (finds the photo) Here he is, Owen Smith. Hmm, he looks weird.
HODGINS: Why? The guy looks perfect.
ANGELA: I know, that's what's weird. He doesn't look real, right? Seems too young for plastic surgery, but these wide flaring cheekbones - there's no way that they could coexist with this nasal bridge.
HODGINS: He is real. Owen Smith, her final date. Connected at 7:45 the night she disappeared.
ANGELA: (placing photo down) I don't know...
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - SWEETS'S OFFICE - DAY. SWEETS is pacing. Enter DAISY.]
DAISY: (eagerly approaching) What's so important, Lancelot? You miss me too much?
SWEETS: (solemnly) Please, sit down, Daisy.
DAISY: What's wrong?
[They sit down.]
SWEETS: I've-I've devoted myself to this relationship. I've given you everything. My heart... DAISY: Are you breaking up with me?
SWEETS: I love you, but I can no longer... DAISY: You are breaking up with me.
SWEETS: Tears will have no impact on me, Daisy.
DAISY: Why? What have I done?
SWEETS: You're engaged to someone else, for God's sakes! I'm not gonna be your little boy toy because you have a dysfunctional relationship with your fiancé.
DAISY: What?!
SWEETS: All those classes that you go to... You probably don't even take yoga, do you?
DAISY: If I wasn't taking yoga, how could I do a Shirshasana?
SWEETS: What about the wedding dress? Booth and Brennan saw you trying it on at the bridal shop cavorting with your fiancé.
DAISY: Baby, my cousin is out of town. Bertolino's was having their annual sale. We're the same size. It was 50% off, one day only.
SWEETS: Okay, and that man you were with?
DAISY: Her fiancé. Not mine. I love my Lancelot.
SWEETS: Oh, my God. I was so jealous. How could I have doubted you?
DAISY: We're both beautiful people, Lance. I mean, we're bound to get jealous sometimes.
SWEETS: I wish we could run home together right now.
DAISY: (running to lock the door) I can't wait that long.
[They begin undressing and fall to the floor in a passionate frenzy.]
[CUT TO: INT. MEDICO-LEGAL LAB - ANGELA'S OFFICE - DAY. BRENNAN and ANGELA are looking at the computer. Enter HODGINS.]
BRENNAN: I can't believe I didn't see that before.
HODGINS: See what? What are we looking for?
ANGELA: Okay, Owen is a composite of these four other dates. Look, he has Graham Mou's chin, Mel Jensen's eyes, Frank Henley's mouth, and Mickey Jasper's nose and cheekbones.
HODGINS: Someone created the perfect man in order to meet our victim.
BRENNAN: Someone who had access to all these photos.
[CUT TO: INT. FBI BUILDING - INTERROGATION ROOM - DAY. BOOTH and BRENNAN are questioning KURTIS ROSSI.]
ROSSI: That's insane. Why would I create a fake persona just to meet some girl?
BRENNAN: Because your facial morphology is subpar. Your supraorbital torus is too high and thick, you lack a mental eminence-
BOOTH: Bones? He gets the picture.
ROSSI: This is crazy.
BOOTH: Right, we checked with the DMV. We know that you drive a sport utility vehicle. You see, the forensic team is examining your SUV right now.
ROSSI: (after a long pause) It was an accident.
BRENNAN: Hitting her once might have been an accident, but running over her twice seems very deliberate.
ROSSI: She said she wanted a funny, smart, successful guy. That's me. (pause) I just wanted a chance.
BOOTH: Really, and you thought she'd overlook the fake photo that you put in there, too, huh?
ROSSI: All these beautiful women on my service, but... none of them will look at me. I'm better than half the losers that sign up.
BRENNAN: She laughed you off and you followed her?
ROSSI: No. I was driving down the alley on my way home. She was having a smoke. I rolled down my window to talk, just talk, and she gave me the finger and walked away.
BOOTH: And you ran her down.
BRENNAN: Twice.
ROSSI: I don't know what happened. I'm a nice guy. I'm smart. (long pause) I'm just what she asked for.
[CUT TO: EXT. FOUNDING FATHERS BAR AND GRILL - NIGHT. HODGINS sees WENDELL and his friends through the window and smiles. His phone rings. It's the Date or Hate service; ANGELA's photo pops up. He looks around. Elsewhere, ANGELA's phone also rings. She sees HODGINS's photo. They both place their phones away and continue on. HODGINS enters the Founding Fathers and greets WENDELL and his friends.]
[CUT TO: INT. BOOTH'S APARTMENT - NIGHT. There's a knock at BOOTH's door.]
BRENNAN: (through door) Booth, it's Bones.
BOOTH: Yeah. (opens door) Hi.
BRENNAN: Hey. I should've called.
BOOTH: No, come on in. You kidding me?
BRENNAN: I saw Sweets and Daisy, and I was wrong. She wasn't cheating on him.
BOOTH: Well, that's a good thing, right?
BRENNAN: Well, I wanted to spare him pain, but all I did was cause it. (sits down on the couch)
BOOTH: You meant well.
BRENNAN: I made him so jealous, I almost ruined their relationship. I should've listened to you.
BOOTH: Maybe next time you will. (pause) Hey, I was just gonna go out and grab a bite to eat, some Chinese, maybe some-
BRENNAN: (getting up) I'd rather drink. Do you want one?
BOOTH: Yeah, we could do that. My good bottle of scotch. Bottoms up, Bones.
BRENNAN: You know, intellectually I know that jealousy is absurd. But I see that it's real for people. (looking down) I even experience it myself.
BOOTH: So... (taking a seat) who are you jealous of?
BRENNAN: Angela. Hodgins. Cam. You.
BOOTH: Why?
BRENNAN: Because you all want to lose yourself in another person. You believe that love is transcendent and eternal. I want to believe that, too.
BOOTH: Hey, you will. I promise. Someday you will. You will someday, okay? You will.
[FADE TO BLACK.]
|
Plan: A: the Virgin Mary; Q: What image was found at the recycling plant? A: a flattened body; Q: What did Booth and Bones find inside a compressed bale of cardboard? A: the marriage-obsessed young woman; Q: Who had a fiancé and numerous boyfriends? A: Daisy; Q: Who is Sweets' girlfriend? A: another man; Q: Who is Daisy trying on a wedding dress with? A: their relationship; Q: What do Angela and Hodgins come to terms with? Summary: When an image of the Virgin Mary turns out to be a bloodstain at a cardboard recycling plant Booth and Bones find a flattened body inside a compressed bale of cardboard. The line of suspects grows longer when the team discovers that the marriage-obsessed young woman had a fiancé as well as numerous boyfriends from a cell-phone dating service. Booth and Bones must break the news to Sweets when they see his girlfriend Daisy trying on a wedding dress with another man, and Angela and Hodgins come to terms with their relationship.
|
Scene: Howard's laboratory. The phone rings. Howard puts it on speaker.
Howard: Howard Wolowitz.
Voice: Hey, Howard. Dave Roeger here at NASA. We need to talk about your upcoming mission.
Howard: Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups. I'm still stuck at nine, but that's going all the way down with no one holding me.
Roeger: That's great, uh, but that's not why I called. We've run into a bit of a snafu. Your Soyuz capsule failed the pressurization test, so bottom line, mission's been scrubbed.
Howard (Picks up receiver): You're kidding. So what does that mean? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Boy, I got to tell you, I'm really disappointed. This was my dream ever since I was a little kid. Okay, well, uh, thanks for the call. Yep, you, too. (Puts down phone.) Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh! I'm not gonna die in space! I'm gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami. Credits sequence.
Scene: A suit shop.
Sheldon (off): I'm going to need a larger shirt. This one's a little tight under the arms.
Assistant: Okay.
Leonard: Do you think maybe it's tight because you're wearing long underwear?
Sheldon: Yes, of course that's why it's tight.
Leonard: All right, let me rephrase the question. Why are you wearing long underwear?
Sheldon: You're kidding. Shouldn't the question be why aren't you?
Leonard: No, it should be: why are you?
Sheldon: Leonard, these rental tuxedos have been worn by hundreds of sweaty strangers. I don't like my own sweat touching my skin, how do you think I feel about theirs?
Assistant: Why don't you slip this on?
Sheldon: Said the hangman offering a noose.
Raj: Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there.
Howard: Well, that's it. My orders have been rescinded. I am officially no go to space.
Leonard: I'm sorry, Howard, but I got to tell you, I'm a little relieved you're not going.
Howard: Why?
Leonard: Come on, you were gonna go up in a rocket designed in the 1960s by the Russians.
Howard: Yeah, so?
Leonard: When was the last time you were at Best Buy and you heard someone say, ooh, check out this Blu-ray player, it must be good, it was built in Russia"?
Howard: Well, their technology isn't that bad.
Raj: When you come back to Earth in a Soyuz capsule, you free-fall from space at 500 miles per hour, and the only thing that slows you down is a little parachute that pops out right before you crash into the ground. And the whole thing was designed by the same brilliant minds who were unable to capture Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Howard: All right, well, whatever. I wasn't worried.
Raj: You weren't?
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek. I live it.
Raj: Oh, please. I don't remember the episode of Star Trek where the guy never goes to space and brags about it in a tuxedo store.
Howard: Make all the jokes you want, but there's only one of us here brave enough to almost do what I almost did.
Sheldon: Ah, much better.
Leonard: You must be burning up.
Sheldon: A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them. Well, I cut quite the dashing, yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like the Flash about to get married. Oh! A tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!
Assistant: Uh, where's he going?
Leonard: He keeps emergency Purell in the car.
Sheldon: Keys! Keys! Keys!
Scene: Penny's door.
Penny: Hey, you.
Leonard: Before I come in, you should know, I have gas. (Holds up gas canister)
Penny: For the record, not your worst opening line.
Leonard: Check it out. It's the gas I use in my free-electron laser to support high voltages. But it also has an interesting secondary use. Here. Breathe this in.
Penny: B-Before I do it, if you're a cop you have tell me, right?
Leonard: Just try it.
Penny: Okay. (In weirdly low voice) What's it supposed to... Oh, my God, this is so freaky!
Leonard (in low voice): You're a mean one Mr. Grinch.
Penny: Okay. Me, me, me. Ready? (Low voice) Leonard, I am your father.
Leonard: I have never been more attracted to a woman who sounds like a man in my life.
Penny: Oh, Mm. Hey, you know how we've been taking things slow?
Leonard: Mm-hmm.
Penny: Well, I've been thinking, and maybe I'm ready to take things a little faster.
Leonard: Oh, great.
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Leonard: And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you're gonna get.
Penny: You know, just-just one thing. Look, we're in a really great place right now, and I don't want to do anything that will make stuff all weird again.
Leonard: So we won't let it get weird.
Penny: Okay. Oh, and just a heads-up, mm, since the last time you saw me naked, I got a Cookie Monster tattoo. The acceptable responses when you see it are awesome or nothing.
Leonard: What about (inhales gas, in low voice) Cookies!
Scene: Amy's apartment.
Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Amy? (Knock, knock, knock) Amy? (Knock, knock, knock) Amy?
Amy: Seven o'clock, right on time.
Sheldon: It's not an accident. I waited outside your door for twenty minutes.
Amy: Well, dinner's almost ready.
Sheldon: I must say, I was surprised you chose to spend our date night in your apartment. As I mentioned, the Pasadena City Council is debating longer crosswalk times, and later, the LEGO store is having a midnight madness sale. You ask anyone, that's a hot date.
Amy: Tempting choices, but I have something special planned for tonight.
Sheldon: What can be more special than having an adequate amount of time to cross the street on your way to buy a tiny LEGO Indiana Jones?
Amy: With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I've decided that we should make progress in ours as well.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. Two years ago, we didn't even know each other, and now I'm in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?
Amy: I had a feeling you'd be reluctant, which is why I'm going to dip into my neurobiological bag of tricks.
Sheldon: Oh, you brain monkeys kill me. Dip away.
Amy: I have devised an experiment that I believe will increase your feelings for me in an accelerated time frame.
Sheldon: And how do you propose to do that? Uh, hope you're not thinking about some sort of LSD thought control. Because there's only one mind-expanding drug that this man enjoys, and that's called school.
Amy: Human beings form emotional attachments as they grow up. In your case, to your mother, superheroes, et cetera. I'm going to attempt an experiment that will get you to transfer those feelings to me.
Sheldon: Well, seems what's on the menu tonight is malarkey with a big side of poppycock.
Amy: We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we?
Sheldon: Super Mario Bros. theme?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: I see what you're doing. You're attempting to build on the work of Ebbinghaus by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game, admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood, but it won't work.
Amy: Fine. There's no reason we still can't have a lovely dinner. Why don't you have a seat.
Sheldon: Da-da-da da-da dum, boink, boink.
Amy: May I offer you something to drink?
Sheldon: You know I don't drink.
Amy: Not even strawberry Quik?
Sheldon: I love strawberry Quik. It's my favourite pink fluid, narrowly beating out Pepto-Bismol.
Amy: Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared for dinner.
Sheldon: Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it!
Amy: Just like your mommy used to make.
Sheldon: Oh yummy, yummy! We should do this more often. Uh-oh.
Scene: Penny's apartment.
Leonard: I'm sorry. I did, I crossed a line. I didn't mean to!
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of s*x?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out. People say weird things during s*x all the time.
Penny: Okay, well, they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was the heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is, ooh, yeah, just like that, not will you marry me?
Leonard: I'm sorry. Just, just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, hey, baby, want to go look for houses in neighbourhoods with good schools?
Leonard: Again, I'm sorry. You know, with Howard and Bernadette getting married, I got caught up in a little wedding fever. I take it back.
Penny: You can't take something like that back. I mean, what are we even supposed to do now?
Leonard: Okay, at some point, we'll look back and this is going to be a funny story. Why don't we just start doing that now?
Penny: You're kidding.
Leonard: No. Hey, do you remember that time when I proposed to you in bed? And you were all, like, what are you doing? That was so funny. So funny.
Penny: It's not funny.
Leonard: Give it a minute. Is that a little smile I see there? I should go.
Scene: Howard's bedroom.
Howard: Hey, I was thinking. For our first dance at the wedding, what if we learn the final number from Dirty Dancing?
Bernadette: You're kidding.
Howard: No, come on. How cool would that be? Me running into your arms, you lifting me up into the air.
Bernadette: Oh, you're in a good mood.
Howard: Yeah, well, why wouldn't I be? You know, I'm marrying the girl of my dreams, and I finally got my mother to agree not to come on our honeymoon. (Phone rings) Oh, hang on. Oh, it's NASA. Wolowitz. Oh! Hi, Dave. What's up? No kidding. Really? Well, that's great news. Great, great news. All right, I'll watch my e-mail for the details. Okay, talk soon.
Bernadette: What's so great?
Howard: It looks like I'm going into space after all.
Bernadette: Oh, Howie, that's wonderful!
Howard: Uh-huh, wonderful. Yay.
Bernadette: What happened? I thought they cancelled your mission.
Howard: Th-They did. But NASA really wants my telescope up on the space station, so they're putting me on an earlier launch.
Bernadette: When?
Howard: A week from Friday.
Bernadette: What? We're getting married that Sunday.
Howard: You're right. I, I can't go to space. I have to get married, and no one can say that's not a good reason. I'll call him back.
Bernadette: Wait. I don't want to be the one who stands in your way.
Howard: Well, too bad, you already did. It's a done deal. Oh, well. But I forgive you.
Bernadette: No. That's not how I want to start our marriage, killing your dream. We'll have the wedding when you get back.
Howard: But what about all the plans and the guests?
Bernadette: We'll call them. Although my dad's gonna go a little nutso over losing his deposits.
Howard: You're right, he is! Your dad's gonna be furious. There's no way he's gonna let us postpone this wedding. Well, we tried.
Bernadette: I'll talk to him. He won't say no to his little girl.
Howard: No. I, uh, I should talk to him, man to man.
Bernadette: But, Howie, my dad can be a bully. He's gonna make you cancel your space flight.
Howard: We can only hope... that he doesn't.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene: The apartment. Sheldon and Leonard are playing three dimensional chess.
Sheldon: Bishop to queen four, level two. Check.
Leonard: Sheldon, knight takes bishop. You all right?
Sheldon: I'm fine.
Leonard: Are you? You left your queen exposed from above, you trapped your knight in the corner, and you keep sighing and saying, why me?
Sheldon: Very well. Can I ask you a question about women?
Leonard: We got you that book last year. Wasn't everything in there?
Sheldon: No, I'm having a relationship problem with Amy. And by the way, that book gave me nightmares.
Leonard: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I screwed things up pretty good with Penny.
Sheldon: Look at us, Leonard, engaging in the social convention of men bellyaching about their ol' ladies.
Leonard: I guess we are. So, what's going on?
Sheldon: Believe it or not, Amy has embarked on a campaign to increase my feelings for her by making me happy.
Leonard: I'm sorry, that must be very difficult for you.
Sheldon: It's awful. This morning, she arranged for me to be an Amtrak junior conductor for the day. It, it's usually only open to children. She got them to make an exception.
Leonard: Shame on her.
Sheldon: They let me blow the whistle, Leonard.
Leonard: She's good.
Sheldon: I know. And it gets worse. Her efforts are causing me to have affectionate feelings for her at inappropriate times.
Leonard: You mean, like in bed or in the shower?
Sheldon: No! Would you please stop referencing that infernal book? For example, this morning, I was calculating the random motion of virtual particles in a vacuum, when suddenly the particles morphed into an image of Amy's dandruff gently cascading down onto her pale, slightly hunched shoulders. Oh, what has that vixen done to me, Leonard? And how do I make it stop?
Leonard: Well, if you had a physical relationship, I'd say propose during s*x. Turns out that's a real mood killer.
Sheldon: I assume we're talking about you now?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: So, that's how this works? I complain, and then you complain, and no one offers any solutions?
Leonard: Pretty much.
Sheldon: Well, no wonder the women are winning.
Scene: Bernadette's father's house.
Howard: Mr. Rostenkowski, are you busy?
Mr. Rostenkowski: I'm just looking at some old pictures. Come on in.
Howard: Family pictures, or... holy crap, that's a dead person.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Last murder case before I retired. How many bodies do you see there? Careful, it's a trick question.
Howard: I'm not sure.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Nah, you'll never get it. It's a fraction.
Howard: How about that. Anyway, sir, I need to talk to you about something.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Walnut?
Howard: No, thank you. I'm allergic.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Oh, sure. My partner used to have that. He's dead now.
Howard: From nuts?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Nah, his wife shot him. But she was nuts, so in a way.
Howard: Nice story. Anyway, the reason I wanted to talk to you is NASA has moved up my launch to the International Space Station.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Yeah, so?
Howard: So, the date is going to conflict with me marrying your daughter. Now, I know what you're going to say, I made a commitment to Bernadette and to your family and I've got a hell of a lot of nerve coming in here and demanding that we postpone this thing. Well, message heard and understood. Mission cancelled. Thank you.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Where are you going?
Howard: I'm sorry. May I be excused?
Mr. Rostenkowski: No, you may not. Let me tell you something. When I first met you... You just gonna stand there?
Howard: I'm sorry, I didn't know, is this going to... Well, I should sit... May I be seat... Well, I'll just sit.
Mr. Rostenkowski: When I first met you, I didn't like you.
Howard: I'm aware of that, sir.
Mr. Rostenkowski: But then you and I had some time together.
Howard: Uh-huh.
Mr. Rostenkowski: It did not get better.
Howard: Right, right.
Mr. Rostenkowski: That silly Beatle haircut and you riding around on a red Vespa, and you still living at home with your mother. To be honest, I thought Bernadette chose you to punish me. But then I heard about your astronaut thing, and I realized I judged you too fast. Maybe you are the right guy for my little girl.
Howard: Oh, I am. And just so you know, I'd still be an astronaut, even if I didn't go to space. I've got an I.D. Card and a NASA golf shirt.
Mr. Rostenkowski: No, no, you got to go. You can't turn down an opportunity like this.
Howard: But what about the wedding and all the money you put down for the reception?
Mr. Rostenkowski: You let me worry about that. You go up to that space station, and you make me proud.
Howard: Um, okay.
Mr. Rostenkowski: You got a problem with that?
Howard: All right, look, I'm gonna level with you. I'm terrified about going into space. What if I don't make it back?
Mr. Rostenkowski: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy.
Scene: The stairwell.
Penny: Hey.
Leonard: Hey. Off to work?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Have a nice night.
Penny: Okay, you, too.
Leonard: Penny, just, wait. I've been thinking about what I said when we were in bed the other night.
Penny: Yeah, I've been thinking about it, too.
Leonard: I noticed you never answered me.
Penny: You're right. (Kisses him) No.
Leonard: Uh, follow-up. Are we still dating?
Penny: Yep.
Leonard: Is it still weird 'cause I proposed?
Penny: Yep.
Leonard: I have a couple more quick questions. Do you want to call me from the car?
Penny: No!
Leonard: I played that pretty well. (Enters apartment. Amy, dressed as a Vulcan starfleet officer, is examining Sheldon.)
Amy: Hello, Leonard.
Leonard: What are you doing?
Amy: We're playing doctor. Star Trek style.
Sheldon: I'm in hell, Leonard. Don't stop.
|
Plan: A: Howard; Q: Who receives a call from NASA? A: NASA; Q: Who calls Howard to tell him he will be going to space? A: Soyuz; Q: What is the name of the capsule that had problems during a pressurization test? A: his wedding; Q: What is Howard looking forward to? A: his telescope; Q: What does NASA want Howard to bring to the International Space Station? A: his launch date; Q: What will be pushed up to the Friday before his wedding? A: Bernadette's father; Q: Who does Howard talk to about postponing the wedding? A: his surprise; Q: What was Howard's reaction to Mike's approval? A: the space mission; Q: What did Mike think made Howard suitable for Bernadette? A: Leonard; Q: Who accidentally proposes to Penny? A: their "beta test" relationship; Q: What do Leonard and Penny call their relationship? A: her apartment; Q: Where does Leonard leave after Penny says no to his proposal? A: the apartment stairwell; Q: Where does Penny reject Leonard's proposal? A: Amy; Q: Who tries to use transference to increase Sheldon's feelings for her? A: video games; Q: What does Sheldon love? A: Amy's actions; Q: What seems to be working on Sheldon? Summary: Howard receives a call from NASA saying that his mission to the International Space Station has been cancelled due to problems with the Soyuz capsule during a pressurization test. He is ecstatic as he has actually become terrified of possibly dying in space and looks forward to his wedding. However, he later receives another call from NASA saying that he will be sent to space after all as they want his telescope on the International Space Station, though his launch date will be pushed up to the Friday before his wedding. He decides to talk to Bernadette's father to postpone the wedding. To his surprise, Mike strongly approves of him going to space and reveals that he did not think that he was suitable for Bernadette until he heard about the space mission. He also tries to assuage Howard's fear of dying in space, mentioning that Bernadette can always find someone else if he doesn't return. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny decide to take their "beta test" relationship to the next level by having sex. However, Leonard accidentally proposes to Penny during sex as a result of which Penny becomes extremely upset. After unsuccessfully trying to pacify her, he leaves her apartment. Later, when the couple meet each other in the apartment stairwell, Penny says no to Leonard's wedding proposal, though they will still date. Elsewhere, Amy tries to use transference to increase Sheldon's feelings for her by making him happy using his love for various other topics (his mother's cooking, video games etc.). Amy's actions seem to work on Sheldon who is not happy about it but makes no attempt to stop her.
|
ACT ONE
Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Martin is reading the newspaper as Daphne is wandering about the living room when the doorbell sounds. She shouts "coming" then opens the door to find Niles on his mobile phone.
Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane.
Niles: [into phone:] My God, after all our years together - all the good times, all the bad times - you can't loan me a meager four thousand dollars? You must appreciate how hard it is for me to approach you about this. I thought I meant more to you than this, but apparently I don't. [hangs up] And they call themselves "the friendly bank!"
Daphne goes back to the table to clip coupons.
Martin: What do you need to borrow money for?
Niles: I saw the most exquisite Biedermeier footstool.
Martin: For four thousand bucks? Niles, your mother and I didn't pay that much for our first house.
Niles: I know, dad. I lived there.
Martin: Well, I keep telling you, you don't have Maris's money to throw around anymore. You're going to have to start cutting back a little.
Niles: I have cut back. Last month I told my masseur I could only see him once a week.
Martin: [sarcastic:] Oh, I remember that scene in "Grapes Of Wrath" when Ma Joad did that.
Daphne: You know, if you need to save a bit, you should do what I do and cut out coupons.
Niles: [interested:] Coupons. Well, what a wonderful way to economize. Well, I could clip them and give them to my personal shopper.
Daphne and Martin share a look. Frasier enters from his room.
Frasier: Oh, Niles, good morning.
Niles: Hey.
Frasier: Daphne, has Bebe Glazer called back yet?
Daphne: 'Fraid not.
Niles: You're still consorting with that barracuda?
Frasier: Well, a barracuda is what you want in an agent, Niles. It's just that the station's been sold, I was hoping she might have some scuttlebutt on the new owner.
The doorbell sounds.
Frasier: I must admit she's rather hard to get a hold of these days.
Niles: Oh, really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor and chanted "I summon thee" three times.
Frasier opens the door to Roz, who is carrying a file of news clippings.
Frasier: Hello, Roz.
Roz: Hey.
They all shout their greetings.
Frasier: What have you got on the new owner?
Roz: Oh, plenty.
Frasier: Yeah?
Roz: His name is Wilford S. Boone, but he likes to be called "Big Willy."
Daphne: Well, there's a little snapshot of his psyche right there.
Roz: He's an eighty-five year-old Texan. Practically no formal education but he went from errand boy at a radio station to owning his own media empire worth six hundred million.
Niles: [distracted by coupon:] This is great, I don't even know what "Renuzit" is, but it's twenty cents off and I want it.
Roz: You're clipping coupons?
Niles: [proudly] I'm economizing.
Roz: Oh well it's about time, you spend money like a drunken sailor.
Niles: She said authoritatively.
Frasier is looking through the papers at the coffee table.
Frasier: Excuse me, could we get back to the subject at hand, please?
Martin: What are you so antsy about?
Frasier: Dad, Wilford S. Boone-
Roz: Big Willy.
Frasier: Please, Roz, I just can't say that yet, alright? - Wilford S. Boone owns thirty radio stations across the country. If he likes you he's been known to syndicate your show nationwide. So, I'm trying to find out if we have anything in common - an angle, if you will. So what are his interests, Roz?
Roz: Well, it's all in there. He likes whittling, rodeos, the novels of Zane Grey...
Martin: [sarcastic:] Gee, Fras. It's like you two were separated at birth.
Roz: He also owns a 5,000 acre cattle ranch and the world's largest collection of antique six-shooters.
Frasier: Oh dear God, I'm sucking up to Yosemite Sam!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Two - Radio Station. Roz and Frasier are walking along the corridors towards the recording booth.
Roz: I think if we really want to impress Big Willy we should think of some Western theme to do for the show today.
Frasier: Great idea, Roz. [sarcastic:] Why don't we just start the show off with a segment on how to get in touch with your inner young'un.
Frasier and Roz bump into Bulldog who is listening to Gil's show through the door.
Gil: [in booth] What a fascinating theory! Do go on.
Frasier: What's going on?
Bulldog: Oh, this is great. I told Gil the new station owner is a Greek tycoon.
Frasier: He fell for that?
Bulldog: Hook, line, and souvlaki!
Meanwhile, Gil does his show:
Gil: You can keep your overripe Camembert and malodorous Stilton, they can't compare with the salty insouciance of Greece's glorious Feta. It's not just for shepherds anymore! This is Gil Chesterton saying Bon Appetite, or as we say in Athens, Kali Orexi! [presses button]
Bulldog falls into the booth laughing as Frasier explains.
Frasier: Oh Gil, you've been had. The new station owner isn't Greek, he's from Texas.
Bulldog: [to Gil] You are so easy!
Gil: Well, I hope you're happy! I've just given four stars to a restaurant called "A Taste Of Greece." Which, trust me, is no misnomer.
Bulldog: Well that's what you deserve, trying to suck up to some senile old coot!
The senile old coot - dressed in boots, string tie, and a cowboy hat - enters the booth and hears him without Bulldog noticing.
Bulldog: Hell, he probably can't eat anything but strained peas and farina! [laughs]
Frasier: [stopping him:] Uh, Mr Boone?
Boone: [strong Texan accent:] Yeah, that's right.
Frasier: Pleasure to see you. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. This is Roz Doyle, Gil Chesterton and... [points at Bulldog]
Bulldog: [covering up:] I'm Skippy the lunch boy. So, uh, that's two strained peas and a farina for the big guy. [exits]
Gil: Oh, uh, Skippy? Change my order! I've got a sudden hankering for baby-back ribs and corn bread. [exits after him]
Boone: Oh, I've been looking for you Dr. Crane. I have a little problem and they told me you're just the fella who could fix it. Oh, I hope I'm not imposing.
Frasier: Oh, no, don't be silly, Mr. Boone.
Boone: Well, actually I prefer "Big Willy."
Frasier: Don't be silly, Big Willy. [Roz and Frasier keep in their laughter]
Boone: You see, I'm engaged to be married.
Frasier: Oh, congratulations.
Boone: Well, sweet young thing. Just nuts about me. Problem is, she smokes.
Frasier: Oh lord, that is a very bad habit.
Boone: Oh, it's a vile habit! Would have destroyed my affection for her if, well she didn't possess certain... compensating gifts. [Frasier and Roz trade a look.] Anyway, as a favour to me, could you help her?
Frasier: Well, I'll certainly try. Just keep in mind, though, addiction is fraught with many complex issues. Length of habit, motivation...
Boone: Forgive me, sometimes I don't express myself too clearly. When I say, "could you help her," what I meant to say was [definite:] HELP HER!
Frasier: Consider it done.
Boone: Much obliged. She'll be in touch. [exits]
Frasier: That's me, Dr. Frasier Crane, bimbo wrangler.
He sinks into his chair with a groan.
Roz: Frasier, stop it! This is a golden opportunity! You make this little tootsie quit smoking and we're halfway to syndication.
Bebe: [enters booth:] Did someone just say the word "syndication," or do I just hear it every time I lay eyes on my favorite client?
Frasier: Oh, Bebe. [they kiss cheeks, he continues to moan]
Bebe: Is something wrong, dear?
Frasier: Well, yes.
Roz: We just met Big Willy...
Frasier: Oh, he thinks I'm some sort of a magician. He wants me to play therapist to his little fianceé. No doubt some gold- digging piranha so devoid of scruples that she's willing to rob the coffin and just...
Frasier notices that Bebe and Big Willy and now exchanging kisses through the glass partition.
Frasier: Oh, dear God!
Bebe: Isn't it wonderful? We met last month and it was love at first sight.
Roz: First sight of what - his bankbook and a cardiogram? Two minutes. [exits to booth]
Bebe: I'm hurt that she can even joke about such a thing. I love that dear sweet old man with every fibre of my being.
[lights a cigarette]
Frasier: [sarcastic:] I'm sure you do. I'm afraid there won't even be a wedding if you can't get rid of that rotten habit, and he's just ordered me to see that you do!
Bebe: God, you'd think a touch of emphysema were the end of the world!
Boone: [enters] What's that in your hand, woman?
Bebe: Sorry, pudd'n. Bebe slipped.
Frasier: Just that all-important last puff. [stubbs it out for her]
Boone: Well, see that it is! Well, Dr. Crane, I'm heading out of town for three days. When I get back on Sunday, I expect my little gal here to be smoke-free by then.
Frasier: [worried] In... three days?
Boone: Now, you do whatever it takes to help her, doc! Drugs, straightjackets, electroshock... [exits]
Bebe: You see how he dotes on me.
Frasier gives her a "yeah, right" smile.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Bebe is laying on the couch as Frasier wanders around the room creating a stereotypical psychiatrist scene.
Frasier: Excellent progress, Bebe! You've really dived into the emotional void that is the route of your addiction. Your fear of abandonment, your fear that those you trust will suddenly turn their backs when you expect them to... [doorbell sounds] Excuse me.
Bebe: My God, it all seems so clear now. You're a miracle worker.
Frasier: If I had a dime for every time... well... [opens door] Niles!
Niles: Hello Frasier, I noticed you were out of capers the other night, so I got you this.
Niles takes a massive jar of capers out of his bag. Frasier holds it.
Frasier: Thank you Niles, but why so many?
Niles: I just discovered a place called "Price Buster's Warehouse." You have to buy in bulk, but the savings are extraordinary and they have a huge selection. I found french fries and french doors in the same aisle.
Frasier: Well, the next time you go back be sure to buy me a thousand swordfish so I can use these up!
Niles: You laugh, but I could do it like that. [snaps fingers] So, how goes the great smoke-out?
Bebe: Until today, I had no idea what a brilliant therapist your brother is. He has tunneled his way into the very depths of my psyche.
Niles: Well, let's hope he sent a canary down first.
Bebe: Well, I'll be running along. [to Frasier] I'll see you at ten tomorrow. In the mean time, it's exercise, lots of fresh spring water and nicotine gum for cravings.
Frasier: That's my girl.
Niles: Oh, Bebe, you know I'm writing a paper on addiction and I'd love to ask you some questions - unless there's some reason you're eager to be off?
Bebe: [covering up:] Me? No. No, not at all.
Niles: Well, I just need to discuss a personal matter with Frasier first.
Bebe: Of course, I'll give you some privacy. It's time for my water anyway. [exits to kitchen]
Frasier: Yes, Niles?
Niles: Let her out that door, she'll smoke half a pack before the elevator hits the lobby.
Frasier: How can you know that? You hardly spoke to her.
Niles: Well, obviously you didn't see the crazed, cunning glint in her eyes.
Frasier: She always looks like that, she's an agent.
In the kitchen, Bebe takes a cigarette from her purse.
Niles: I know about addiction. It's the exact same look Maris used to get during the cough syrup years. The only way to deal with it is to lock her up, take her money, and watch her like a hawk until it's out of her system.
Frasier: That means she would have to stay here for the weekend.
Daphne and Martin have entered and they have heard Frasier's last sentence.
Daphne: Who's staying all weekend?
Niles: Bebe Glazer.
Martin: [worried:] Here?
Daphne: [worried:] What does she have to stay here for?
Frasier: She's trying to quit smoking.
Martin: [sarcastic:] Oh great, that means she'll be extra lovable.
Frasier: Not to worry dad, there is no reason she has to stay for the weekend. Bebe and I made a real breakthrough today. If you don't believe me, just come on into the kitchen and you'll see that I'm right.
Meanwhile Bebe is smoking in the kitchen. When she hears the previous she licks her fingers, stubbs out her cigarette and puts it in her handbag.
Bebe: [exiting the kitchen] I'm sorry I can't stay and help you with your paper, Niles, wedding preperations and all. But I'll remember those helpful hints. It's exercise, gum, and lots of water.
Bebe turns round and we see that blue smoke is wafting out of her handbag.
Niles: Water should come in handy for putting out those pesky purse fires.
Bebe begins to whack her bag.
Frasier: All right Niles, secure the door! Bebe, you are not going anywhere, you're staying for the weekend. Now give me that purse.
She looks to the door, but Niles has already bolted it.
Bebe: All right. Let me remove one very precious momento.
Frasier: Very well.
She presses the bag to her face and desperately sucks up smoke.
Frasier: Oh, stop it! [yanks it away from her]
END OF ACT ONE (Time: 10:10)
ACT TWO
Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Niles, Frasier, Martin and Daphne are crowded around the dinner table as Bebe eats like a scavenger.
Bebe: More!
Daphne: What again?
Martin: That's her third serving.
Frasier: Now, now Dad, it's flattering to Daphne that Bebe finds her food so tasty.
Bebe: I'm orally fixated. I could eat a half-stunned wharf rat if you put some gravy on it!
Daphne: I'll bear that in mind come breakfast time.
Frasier: No, please, please. Let's all try to remain supportive of Bebe. I think she's really doing rather well.
Niles: So, I hear your fiancee is well to do?
Bebe: Very. [to Martin:] You gonna eat that fat? [takes it from him]
Niles: Well, marrying money can have it's perils. Ten or fifteen years down the line, after you've adapted to a lifestyle now totally beyond your means, you can find yourself cast aside a hollow husk, penniless and crushed.
Frasier: Niles, Big Willy's eighty-five, he's on his third pacemaker.
Niles: Ah. [raises his glass to Bebe] Mazel tov!
Martin: Just out of curiosity, has this guy ever seen you eat?
Bebe: After dinner is the time I need a cigarette most. As long as I don't stop eating, I'll be fine.
Frasier: Well, this is very good, Bebe. You're already identifying those moments that trigger your worst cravings.
Bebe: [dismissive:] Yeah, yeah!
Frasier: No, really. Perhaps it would help to know that you're not alone. Dad is an ex-smoker. Dad, can you tell us about those moments you crave a cigarette most?
Martin: Ah, when I had insomnia. I'd get up, pour a water glass full of Bourbon, light a cigarette - next thing you know, I couldn't keep my eyes open. Nothing relaxes you like a cigarette. [Bebe gazes at him longingly] Of course, gives you a hell of a headache in the morning.
Daphne: Well, I smoked for years but I never became addicted. To this day, I can buy a pack, have a cig or two, toss them in a drawer and not crave another for months.
Bebe: You know there's a word for people who can do that. What is it? Oh, yes - bitch!
Daphne goes to the kitchen.
Niles: There's no need to be insulting just because you're wrestling with an unhealthy and disgusting habit.
Bebe: It isn't disgusting, it's wonderful!
Frasier: Oh now, Bebe, tell me. What is so wonderful about smoking?
Bebe: Everything. [with actions:] I like the way a fresh firm pack feels in my hand. I like peeling away that little piece of cellophane and seeing it twinkle in the light. I like coaxing that first sweet cylinder out of its hiding place and bringing it slowly up to my lips. [Daphne comes back with a bowl; getting more erotic:] Striking a match, watching it burst into a perfect little flame and knowing that soon that flame will be inside me. [laughs giddily] I love the first puff, pulling it into my lungs. Little fingers of smoking filling me, caressing me, feeling that warmth penetrate deeper and deeper, until I think I'm going to burst! Then - whoosh! - watching it flow out of me in a lovely, sinuous cloud, no two ever quite the same.
She's cast her spell. Everyone now has a hungry, longing look in their eyes.
Daphne: More potatoes, anyone?
No sooner has she put them on the table than everybody leaps at them quickly putting as much as they can on their plates.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment. It is half past five in the morning when Bebe is fast asleep on the couch. Daphne, in her dressing gown, slowly creeps into the room. She has a pack of cigarettes in her hand. She checks that Bebe is fast asleep, then slowly opens the balcony door so as not to awake her. She stays fast asleep as Daphne puts the cigarette to her lips.
Daphne strikes a match. Bebe wakes up in an instant. The sound is precious to her so she goes over to the balcony door.
Bebe: You're up early, Miss Moon.
Daphne: [spins around] Oh! God, you startled me! [chuckles nervously] Ever since your little speech about smoking, I haven't been able to think about anything else. Please, don't mention this to Dr. Crane.
Bebe: Silence has its price, dear. And I think we both know what that is.
Daphne: Forget it! You can't make me give you one of these.
Bebe: Oh... can't I?!
Bebe slams the balcony door shut, locking Daphne out.
Daphne: You open up right now!
Bebe: All right, missy, here's the drill! You drop those cigarettes, I'll open the door, you kick 'em over to me, capisce?
Daphne: No!
Daphne runs to the other door but it is already locked.
Bebe: [getting to her:] Oh, is it cold outside?
Daphne: All right, you asked for it!
Daphne takes the packet and holds it over the balcony.
Bebe: No! No! Please, I beg you.
Daphne: Oh, oh no. My fingers are getting weak. Oh, oh, I'm losing my grip.
Bebe: Stop, please! I'll give you anything you want. I'll... [quickly:] I'll make you a star!
The lights come on. Frasier enters in his dressing gown.]
Frasier: What the hell's going on out here?
Bebe: [childishly] Daphne was smoking!
Daphne: She made me!
Frasier: [opens the door] Daphne, give me those.
Daphne: [does so and enters] Oh, look at me! I'm all damp and chilled to the bone.
Frasier: I'll get you a towel. My God, it's five-thirty in the morning! [opens the powder room door] Dad!
Martin stumbles out of the powder room with a glass of bourbon. He coughs up a puff of smoke and hides the glass behind his back.
Martin: I couldn't sleep.
Frasier: Have you people all lost your minds? [throws Daphne a towel] Alright, now listen, get back to bed, every one of you!
Martin: All right, all right...
Bebe: Thank god you came in when you did! She was praying on my weakness. Who knows what I might have done, probably...
THIS!
Bebe snatches the pack and makes a run for it.
Frasier: Oh, get her! Stop that woman!
Martin blocks Bebe. Daphne gets in her way and Bebe throws her onto the couch.
Frasier: Bebe, you will not be allowed to smoke a cigarette in this house! [she tries to edge around him] No, no, don't even think about it! All right, just give me those!
Frasier corners her and wrestles the pack away.
Frasier: All right now, that's it! Back to bed!
He turns back to the hallway, but Bebe jumps on his back, reaching for the packet and snarling like a wild animal.
Frasier: Oh my God, you're insane, woman! They fall to the floor, wrestling.
Martin: That's it, no more house guests.
Martin exits to his bedroom. Frasier pins Bebe to the floor, with the pack trapped underneath her.
Bebe: Get off me, you brute!
Frasier: Hand them over!
Bebe: Never! [phone rings]
Daphne: That'll be the neighbours! [answers:] Hello? Oh, hello! One moment, please. [whispering:] It's Big Willy!
Frasier: [takes phone and nicely as Bebe struggles:] Big Willy, hello! No, no, it's not too early, everybody's up! [Bebe growls] Well, you know, there have been a few minor setbacks, but I'm keeping on top of her, yeah. [Bebe growls again] Oh yeah, I know she'd love to say hi, hang on.
Bebe's growling and thrashing abruptly stop as soon as he puts the phone to her ear.
Bebe: [sweet:] Hello, pudd'n. I'm fine, and you? Oh, nothing's too much trouble for you daddy. Bye now!
Frasier: [takes phone:] Yes, sir? Oh, oh, really? No, no, I'm very flattered. Yes, of course, I'd love to, I'll talk to you this evening. Bye-bye. [hands phone to Daphne] Thank you, Daphne. [to Bebe:] All right, now listen up! He thinks I'm very gifted.
Bebe: Mmm.
Frasier: He thinks I'm wasting my talents in just one city! My God, woman, he wants to take me national, don't you get it? Unless YOU ruin it for me!
Bebe: [cries] Oh my God, sorry. Here, take 'em. [hands over packet; he lets her up] I don't know what came over me.
Frasier: Well, don't be too hard on yourself, Bebe. After all, addiction to Nicotine is a very, very difficult... hey, wait a minute. This pack is half-empty!
Bebe runs out onto the balcony with half a dozen cigarettes, puts one in her mouth, and pats her pockets for a light.
Frasier: For God's sake... I don't care anymore. You know, I can't help you, nobody can. You want to ruin it for both of us? Here, [tosses her a lighter] go ahead, knock yourself out. [Bebe begins to light cigarette] I only wish I could be there when it happens.
Bebe: [stops] When what happens?
Frasier: When you see that newspaper headline: "Big Willy Boone, Millionaire, Dead."
Bebe grins; she can see it too.
Frasier: Oh, how I wish I could be there when you watch the funeral on the news. Watch the casket being slipped into the ground. Only, you won't be watching that. No, no, you'll be watching... the widow Boone. Tiffany, perhaps. Oh no, better yet, "Kelli" - with an "I"!
Bebe: Stop it!
Frasier: You'll picture her wearing YOUR jewels, sailing in YOUR yachts, sleeping with YOUR gigolos - but, oh, you won't be sad, no, no, no! [chuckles] Because you'll have your cigarette.
Bebe looks at the cigarette in her hand like it's a baby rattlesnake.
Frasier: Yeah! Clutched in your nicotine-stained teeth, smoke whirling about your once-pretty, now creased, leathery, smoke-ravaged...
Bebe: Enough! [Frasier looks at her triumphantly] God! [hands over cigarettes and comes in] You are one hell of a therapist.
Frasier closes the door. Bebe lets out a sigh and sinks back onto the couch.
[SCENE_BREAK]
THREE SMOKE-FREE
WEEKS LATER
Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment. Bebe is dressed in her wedding gown on the balcony. She has her back turned away from us and her veil is covering her face. Roz and Frasier, formally dressed, are sitting on the couch looking glum as Martin enters.
Martin: Hey, you back from the wedding already?
Roz: No.
Frasier: There was no wedding.
Roz: No wedding, no syndication deal...
Martin: [notices Bebe:] What's she doing here?
Roz: No money, no fame...
Frasier: Well, you might say things hit a bit of a snag.
Roz: No beach house, no pool boys...
Frasier: Oh will you get a grip, Roz?!
Martin: Well, what went wrong?
Frasier: Well, they were halfway down the aisle - Big Willy beaming proudly, Bebe radiant, supporting Big Willy on her arm - when suddenly he clutched his heart, and his head slumped against Bebe's shoulder. Of course we were all concerned at first, but then suddenly it seemed like he was all right because they kept moving on down the aisle. But if you looked carefully, you could see Bebe's little biceps bulging through her wedding gown, and I swear I noticed daylight between Big Willy's dress boots and the carpet. Well, once they got up to the minister the jig was pretty well up, despite Bebe's valiant attempts to animate his features by twisting the loose skin at the back of his neck. [imitates] You know, I've never seen a woman more crushed.
Martin: Well, if I were you I'd get her away from that balcony rail. The doorman gets ticked if you even through a piece of gum over the side. [exits]
Frasier: [opening balcony door:] Bebe, dear? Please, come on in. [she does] That's a girl. All right, let me have a look at you. Come on, here we are.
Frasier lifts the veil to reveal Bebe with a cigarette clenched between her teeth.
Frasier: Well, I don't really blame you, dear. You know, Roz and I are both upset too. You know, look at it this way: at least you're no worse off than you were before.
Bebe: [angrily stubs out her cigarette] You don't know the things I did for that man - the depraved, Western-themed appetites I satisfied!
Roz: He was eighty-five, how bad could it have been?
Bebe: Ever worn a saddle? [Frasier grimaces]
Roz: Do I have to answer that?
Frasier: Well, you know, Bebe, there are other Big Willys out there, better ones! Richer, older... [she's not convinced] Impotent!
Bebe: [cheering up] Oh dear, you always know what to say. I know what hell I put you through over this. I insist that you take this, [hands over something] as a small token of my gratitude.
Frasier: Oh Bebe, really... [gasps] Look, Roz! It's a gold Rolex! Oh my goodness...
Bebe goes to the door and starts to light up a fresh one.
Frasier: [realizes] Bebe... where did you get this?
Bebe: [beat] Just don't wear it to the funeral.
She leaves. Frasier debates whether he really wants the watch or not. He holds it out to Roz, who recoils in disgust.
END OF ACT TWO (Time: 21:05)
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gil is in the radio booth doing his show, wearing a cowboy hat and string tie, eating barbecued chicken and proclaiming his delight over the air.
An intern, Hank, enters and hands him a note. Gil reads it, covers the mike and whispers, "Dead?!" Hank shrugs and nods. Gil goes to commercial, quickly throws off his hat, wipes his mouth in disgust and drops the remaining Texan delights into the trash.
|
Plan: A: eighty-five-year-old; Q: How old is Wilford S. Boone? A: Texas; Q: Where is Wilford S. Boone from? A: Wilford S. Boone; Q: Who is the new owner of KACL? A: Big Willy; Q: What does Wilford S. Boone like to be called? A: 30 stations; Q: How many stations does Big Willy own? A: Frasier's show; Q: What could Big Willy have put into national syndication? A: a charm offensive; Q: What does Frasier begin? A: his younger mistress; Q: Who is Big Willy about to marry? A: Bebe Glazer; Q: Who is Frasier's agent? A: Big Willy's inheritance; Q: What does Frasier tell Bebe she will lose out on if she doesn't quit smoking? A: Three weeks later; Q: When is the wedding? A: a fatal heart attack; Q: What happens to Big Willy at the wedding? A: another Big Willy; Q: What does Frasier tell Bebe she may yet find? Summary: KACL has a new owner: an eighty-five-year-old Texas millionaire Wilford S. Boone, who likes to be called Big Willy. Frasier learns that he owns 30 stations across the US, and could put Frasier's show into national syndication, so he begins a charm offensive . The millionaire is about to marry his younger mistress, but dislikes that she smokes. He says that if Frasier can cure her of her habit, the marriage can go ahead. The fiancée turns out to be Frasier's agent, Bebe Glazer. He manages to persuade her that she should give up unless she wants to lose out on Big Willy's inheritance. Three weeks later is the wedding, but Big Willy has a fatal heart attack at the altar. Frasier later consoles her at his house by saying she may yet find another Big Willy.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
[Gunshot]
Boyd: Ow!
I had to kill three deliverymen, I got no dope, and my ear's damn near been shot off. We're going to Detroit. Where's our dope? One more shipment. That's it.
Boyd: When? Two days. Maybe three.
Raylan: I want you to swear you'll leave my family be. Or?
Raylan: Or you'll die here in this limo.
[Gunfire]
Darryl: I'm afraid I'm fresh out of ideas.
Florida's tapped out for us Crowes.
Jean Baptiste: Let me ask you something. Do you have a cousin Dewey in Kentucky?
Dewey: I don't know sh1t about no dead coast guard.
Raylan: What about your kin?
Dewey: Them Florida Crowes are bad news. I take it you're here because my good friend Judge Bishop has Ava's case. How much?
Boyd: $300,000. It won't happen.
[Groans]
Boyd: [Grunting]
[Gasps]
You killed him.
[Groans]
I didn't mean to do nothing wrong! But you did. Yeah, but I didn't mean to. But you did!
[Groans]
Didn't he? Yep. And you know what bring me down? You got all these damn crackers in this crew, and it's the nigga that had to go and screw sh1t up! What are we looking at? He say they shorted him. You believe him?
[Chuckles]
What is this sh1t right here? Is this where my missing drugs ended up? It ain't like that, H.R. I just messed up is all. So you ain't crooked. You're just a moron. Or may... maybe it was my fault.
[Chuckles]
Was I unclear in my instructions? You said pick up... pick up the dope in Lexington, I... I pay them two kids, and then bring the dope back. Sounds pretty simple to me. Can o' corn. Yep. Look, they didn't give me all of the dope. And you didn't weigh it out? It looked good! "It looked good." Geez. I... I'll go down there myself. Okay. I'll take care of it. No. No. Condition you're in? I'm gonna send them two. What about me? Don't worry... brothers will take care of you. Let's go. So, we seal team 6 it. What? Seal team. Yeah. Tightest sh1t wins. Go.
[Gunshots]
What are the doctors sayin'? They had to put him in a coma for the swelling to go down. Maybe he wake up. Maybe not. Maybe he be a vegetable. Maybe not. Were you there when it happened? It was Crowder, wasn't it? Skinny guy... about medium height? Dark hair... he wears it up all crazy. Smile that nearly blinds you. You know, Boyd Crowder. Yeah, that's him.
[Chuckles]
You are a very lucky girl. You just crossed paths with the most dangerous man in Kentucky, and you lived to tell the tale. Are you afraid of him?
[Chuckles]
Afraid? No. I am not afraid of Boyd Crowder. In fact, I would bet that Boyd Crowder is afraid of me. Look, you have nothing to worry about as long as you keep me close, okay? This is horse sh1t. The only thing I'm guilty of is being rich. And now, thanks to Obama, I got a target on my back.
Raylan: Doesn't matter to us if you're guilty, but you're under arrest. You and your property are seized till the court makes its determination. Yeah, well, till that happens, I want these cuffs off and you people out of my house.
Rachel: Actually, according to this piece of paper, it's our house now.
[Gun cylinder clicks]
Hey. You got any idea what that thing is worth?
Raylan: What, like... 100 bucks? That's a third-model Colt Dragoon used by Confederate General William Mahone.
Raylan: So more than $100? Probably more than your annual salary. Though I have a car stereo probably costs more than you make, so that ain't sayin' much.
Raylan: That's a lot of money for a gun that probably doesn't shoot. The hell it doesn't. I've got a negro down in Alabama makes them load special for me.
Rachel: This doesn't bother you at all? I make sure he don't keep the guns loaded in the house.
Rachel: Your girlfriend's a very tolerant woman. Gloria ain't my girlfriend. She's the maid. She takes care of my more personal needs.
Raylan: So who's this? That's Manuela. She keeps the house. She also sautés up a mean iguana, if you're ever in the mood. Is very tender.
Tim: Rest of the house is clean. You should see this place. We got a bowling alley in the basement.
Rachel: All this for doing Detroit's dirty laundry. You know what? When this ugliness blows over, you ought to come on over and do my laundry, and I'll tell you all about it.
[Cellphone rings]
Rachel: We done with him?
Raylan: Mm-hmm.
Givens. When this is over, I'm gonna own every cheap-suit-wearing, no-class, shit-kickin' one of you.
Raylan: Lieutenant, I'm gonna have to ask you to slow down. Well, I'm kind of in the middle of something. Well, I could swing by now if... All right. See you shortly.
Rachel: Where are you going?
Raylan: Lexington P.D. Lieutenant just accused me of being responsible for his kid's dope problem.
Rachel: Are you being funny? 'Cause I can't tell anymore.
Raylan: Shouldn't take more than an hour.
Rachel: You realize we came in your car, right?
[Vehicle approaching]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Raylan: You were right...
This sounds fantastic. That's my goddamn car!
♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪
Ava: Jesus Christ. He's dead?
Boyd: It was an accident.
Ava: An accident? You accidentally killed him?
Boyd: What I mean to say is I didn't intend to kill him.
Ava: We needed him alive, Boyd. We needed him to recant his testimony.
Boyd: I'm aware of that, baby. Don't worry I still have everything under control.
Ava: How? How is this under control? You got an incorruptible judge and now a witness whose sworn statement is set in stone. This trial takes place in 10 days. What, you want to rely on this asshole to get me off? Now, ain't nobody talkin' to you.
Boyd: Put those headphones back on. Baby, now, this case ain't ever gonna see the inside of a courtroom. Now, I am sorry. But I am doing everything that I can for you. And I would appreciate it if you would keep that in mind.
Ava: I am sorry. You're right. It just sucks in here, Boyd. Long, humiliating days.
Boyd: I know. Well, I've been here, too, remember?
Ava: [Sighs] You are the only person in the world I got lookin' out for me.
Boyd: I always have and I always will. Don't lose faith in me now. So what did you tell her?
Boyd: That I have the situation under control. But you don't.
Boyd: Do you get paid to tell me sh1t I already know? Now, did you hear from the Canadians regarding the shipment? Just that we're still on track for delivery in two days. Well, for $900,000, I want more than an ETA.
[Door opens]
[Clears throat]
Well, if you boys are looking for a drink, you've come to the wrong bar.
[Chuckles]
Oh, we're not thirsty, Boyd.
Boyd: Well, we don't sell doughnuts. So why don't you take your fat asses out of here? What, she supposed to mean something to me? Oh, you don't know her?
Boyd: No. I don't. But if I wasn't already engaged, I wouldn't mind making her acquaintance. Bad news. See, she was there last night when you tried to kill her husband.
Boyd: Excuse me. Go ahead, hon. Is that the guy? Because I've been waiting a long goddamn time for this. No. What did you say? It's not the guy. It's not him. Is this a joke, Mara? Or maybe this is just a language-barrier thing, but what does skinny, medium height, with dark, spiky hair and big shiny teeth mean where you're from? Because here in America, it means that piece of sh1t right there. I know what I said. Look, you check again. And you make goddamn good and sure. Is this the man who assaulted your husband? Like I said, it's not him.
Boyd: Well, if there's nothing else. I'm sorry about your husband, ma'am. Thank you. So my wife catches him smoking it in our basement with some kind of vaporizer. Right in my own damn house.
Raylan: That your son there in the lobby? Hell no. That's the boyfriend.
Raylan: I wasn't aware she had one. You expect me to believe that?
Raylan: Look, I don't know what she told you, but we're actually not that close. She said you were practically her stepfather.
Raylan: I'm a father myself. Not hers, mind you. But I understand what you're going through. Hey, stop with the bullshit and put it in your book, all right? I went out and I found this girl. I was prepared to rain legal sh1t down upon her until she started talking marshal, marshal. You are here as a courtesy. If you don't go in there and set her straight, I will, and neither you nor her will want that.
Raylan: I remember my first time in the cell. Me and Mike graves got caught smashing mailboxes with a baseball bat out of the window of his '64 Impala. This ain't my first time in a cell.
Raylan: Mike's dad had him out within an hour. I spent the night. Your dad sounds like a real asshole.
Raylan: Can't say I was surprised, knowing your history the way I do, to hear you been slingin' weed. But I was surprised to hear you'd been selling it to a cop's kid. Well, if you'd met the kid, you'd know I can't ruin a future someone doesn't have.
Raylan: If that ain't bad enough, you come in here and paint the walls with my name. Look, Raylan, I know I screwed up. I know. I'm sorry that I brought you into this. But you get me out of here, I swear I won't ask for your help again.
Raylan: Next time, lead with that. It's bullshit, but at least it's an attempt. Raylan? Where you going?
Raylan: Well, I'm gonna let you ride the rap, young lady, same as everyone. If you need anything, just ask for officer stick-up-his-ass. He'd be happy to help you. You shittin' me, Raylan?!
[Sighs]
Hey. Hey, man. Hey, pig, I'm talkin' to you.
Raylan: Pig is slang for cop. I ain't a cop, but there's plenty of them here if that's what you want. Well, yeah, but where's Loretta?
Raylan: She ain't comin'. Yeah, but she said that...
Raylan: She was wrong. You ain't gonna get her out?
Raylan: What's your name? Derrick Waters.
Raylan: Let me tell you something, Derrick. You sell weed to a cop's kid, you end up in a cell. You want to end up in a cell, too, or you want to get out of my face? You know, Loretta said you were cool, but you're a total dick.
Raylan: Oh. All right. Well, have a good one. Yeah. Whatever.
Alison: I see you've met the boyfriend.
Raylan: Yeah.
Alison: I've dated a few world-class douchebags in my time, but that little shit-stain is in a league of his own. I swear. You ever have that feeling like you just walked away from your car and you're not sure if you locked it or not?
[Car alarm chirps]
It's amazing I even remember to put on underwear before I leave the house. You're confused.
Raylan: A little.
Alison: I'm Alison.
Raylan: Raylan.
Alison: I know. I saw your picture in the paper.
Raylan: How'd I look?
Alison: Taller.
Raylan: Uh, sorry, are you, uh, a lawyer or... ?
Alison: I'm Loretta's social worker.
Raylan: Oh. I guess I was dealing with someone else before. Kind of heavyset?
Alison: Regina. Retired. She wasn't your type.
Raylan: Probably best for everyone, then.
Alison: Where's Loretta?
Raylan: Still in her cell.
Alison: You law guys... you only know one way to do things. You think just leaving her in there all alone will scare her straight, but what it really does... it makes her feel like no one gives a sh1t about her.
Raylan: Boyfriend seems to care.
Alison: Was that a joke?
Raylan: An attempt.
Alison: All he cares about is slingin' Molly at rich kids' parties.
Raylan: Oh, so he's an entrepreneur, then.
Alison: He can't even pee over his own shoes.
Raylan: Which is why I was gonna go talk to him, see if I can convince him he ain't Loretta's type. Then I'd like to call you, let you know how it went. You got a card or something?
Alison: Card? I thought finding people's what marshals do. Now, Boyd's always done right by you, hasn't he? And all he expects in return is his money every week. Look, you know I want to do right by Boyd. But the money is in the office, and Dewey's in there. So get him out. How should I do that? Tell him one of the whores is on fire. What do I care? Why are you in such a big hurry? Can't you wait just a little bit? And do what? Well, it is a whorehouse. Look, when Dewey leaves, I'll go in the office and I'll get you Boyd's cut. I can't wait around here all day just 'cause you ain't got no balls.
Dewey: What's going on there?
[Clears throat]
Nothin'.
Dewey: Nothin'? Well, I could have swore I heard Carl here tell my manager he don't got no balls. Well, Carl's upset with me 'cause... I let you fire Chrissy. Yeah. That's right. She was definitely my favorite girl.
Dewey: Chrissy was fat. Yeah, 'cause that's what I like. More cushion for the pushin'.
Dewey: Well, see, this here's Dewey Crowe's whorehouse, and Dewey Crowe's whorehouse ain't gonna have no fatties runnin' around. You know, Carl ain't the only one, boss. I've had other clients ask after her.
Dewey: About the big one? I mean, think on account of she's a bit on the heavy side, so she's been forced to develop her skill set in other ways. I'll tell you what... you let me hire her back, I'll keep her out in the trailer. You won't even know she's here.
Dewey: Yeah, I guess this is what it means being the boss. Got to give the customers what they want. Mm-hmm.
Dewey: Okay. Hire that big bitch back. Oh, hey, uh, and any more problems arise, I'll be in the office. That's all I could think of. Just call me when you got the cash. Look, we gave him all the stuff. I don't know what you're talkin' about. Don't talk that sh1t to me, man. I'll bust your head wide open lyin' to me like that.
Raylan: Hey. How's everybody doing?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Now, I know the kid, but I don't believe we've met. Are you guys friends of Derrick's? What's your names? You boys speak English? A little.
Raylan: You understand this? You a cop?
Raylan: Marshals service. Oh, well, we considered law enforcement.
Raylan: Oh, yeah? Yeah. But what we really wanted, though, was military, but then, you know, you got to be on base all day and sh1t. But a lawman, though... a lawman get to have his nights to himself.
Raylan: So what held you back? High-school diploma? Nah. You know, if you shoot someone, you got to have a reason. Then you got to go fill out a whole lot of paperwork.
Raylan: Not for you, huh? No, we don't do that sh1t. But what you want with this guy, huh? He piss you off? What you do? You sleep with his daughter? He screwed your daughter?
Raylan: My daughter's in diapers. Damn. That must be awfully upsetting, then, huh?
[Chuckles]
Let's go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Sighs]
Nice job, asshole. Anything else?
Raylan: Yeah. You're breaking up with Loretta. And do it like a gentleman, huh? Make her feel like she's too good for you. Tell her that being with someone like you is just gonna hold her back. We talkin' about the same Loretta here?
Raylan: Take it easy, Derrick. Alison. Raylan Givens. Yes. Took all of our office's considerable resources, we let a fugitive escape, but I did manage to get your number. Well, I just had a chat with our mutual friend, and I thought you might want to get together and discuss it. Can't smoke that in here, ma'am. They said I could. You might want to try the stairwell at the end of the hallway. Dr. Forrest, dial 118, please. Dr. Forrest.
Boyd: Well, I think we need to talk, don't you? That was your friend.
Boyd: Well, that depends on your definition of a friend. He's a nice enough fella. But I wouldn't ask to borrow his corduroy jacket. Is that one of them electronic cigarettes? You want to try?
Boyd: No. I think if I'm gonna smoke, I'll do it the old-fashioned way. You know, I fancy myself a gifted student in human behavior, but you... Well, I can't quite pin down. Now, it's obvious he didn't die. Why don't you take it from there? Once I realized that Lee was still alive, I had to try and save him.
Boyd: Well, I respect that. I mean, the man is your husband, after all. I blame myself for not confirming his demise, but I was in a state. And where I get confused is why you decided not to give me up. Lee will never again be the man that I married. So I'm in a tough spot. And I decided that the best person to help me is you.
Boyd: [Chuckles] Well... I would much rather help you than hurt you. So start talkin'. I thought America would be wonderful... But then I ended up here in Harlan, with an older man, preparing dead bodies. So, you see, I just want to go home now.
Boyd: You want that money. $300,000 and I'm gone.
Boyd: Well, what if I just finish what I started? Then you can get all of Mr. Paxton's money. I signed a contract that I must be married for 10 years or I get nothing. And there's no way they would let him live that long.
Boyd: Well, as much as I would like to accommodate you, I can't produce that kind of cash at the moment. You're a very resourceful man. You'll figure it out. And as long as I get my money soon, everything will be fine.
Wynn: Excuse me! If I could have your attention, please, for a minute! I know you're all expecting Mr. Crowder, but since he seems to be indisposed, I'm gonna speak on his behalf. Now, I know there have been concerns among you, our valued distributors, regarding the inconsistent nature of our product's delivery. But I am here to tell you that everything is fine, all is well, and that the new shipment will be here very soon. When?
Wynn: I'm sorry. To whom am I speaking? I believe I just made that clear. Uh, you made it clear it'd be soon. I need to know because I need more.
Wynn: No, you don't. In fact, you need less. You should count yourself grateful you got what you got. Now, if there are no further questions... We're out on the street risking our necks for you, man. Just to get a tiny little piece of your pie. Is that right? Yeah! Am I right? Am I right?
Together: Yeah! All right. Yeah. And you're gonna stand up there in that cute little suit of yours and you're gonna refuse to shoot us straight? Now, if you can't give us a specific time, at least you could tell us if you're having a problem with your distributor.
Boyd: A question worthy of the White House press corps. I always knew you had it in you, Cyrus. Now, how many people in this room have a cellphone? That's an amazing invention makes your life better every single day, but sometimes your service drops out. Now, you don't care about broken satellites. You don't want to know the how. You want to know the why can't I make my goddamn phone call? Now, rest assured, Mr. Duffy and I have fixed the signal and your service will be restored. I need to know when, Boyd.
Boyd: Day after tomorrow. Now, I want you all to know how much we appreciate your patience and your loyalty, Cyrus, and because talk is cheap and liquor is not, drink are on the house.
[Indistinct talking]
Sorry I'm late.
Raylan: Hey. Interrupting something?
Art: Oh, no. No. We can pick this up later.
Raylan: Just want to let you know we're all set with the Monroe case. He's locked up. House is secured.
Art: Rachel told me. She also told me that you drove off in Monroe's car... taking it to storage, I assume?
Raylan: That's right. So, is it in storage now?
Raylan: Basically.
Art: Mm. You know, if you really wanted to piss this guy off, why not just move in?
Art: No, I bet he never thought of that.
Raylan: Uh, hate to give up my suite above the bar, but if it helps, I'll take the hit. We've done it before with high-end properties. Stationed a guy there, see if anything pops up. You okay with it?
Art: Am I liable for any damages that he causes if I say yes? No.
Art: Then yes. You're in. Enjoy.
Raylan: Everything all right?
Art: Yeah. Oh, but while I have you... We received an interesting phone call while you were in Florida.
Raylan: Creditors?
Art: Sammy Tonin.
Raylan: Sammy Tonin called here?
Art: Called here, asked for you, not 24 hours before he turned up dead.
Raylan: And I'm just hearing about this now?
Art: Well, I had to make sure it wasn't a prank call, verify the number. Wasn't hard to do after he turned up dead.
Raylan: What'd he want?
Art: I was about to ask you that question.
Raylan: Maybe he knew the end was near, was lookin' to make a deal.
Art: Yeah, I thought about that.
Raylan: There you go.
Art: But if he was wantin' to make a deal, he already knew all those people in Detroit. Why would he call you?
Raylan: Remember a few months back, FBI was sniffing around, Sammy and I had a face-to-face at the stables at Keeneland?
Art: Vaguely.
Raylan: Said if he was ever lookin' to make a deal, shoot me a call.
Art: Is that Loretta?
Raylan: Yeah. We good?
Art: Yeah. Yeah. Give her my best.
Raylan: Loretta. What the hell did you do?
Raylan: Listen, I know it feels like there'll never be another boy, but trust me, you have so many in your future. Raylan, what are you talking about?
Raylan: Derrick breaking up with you. Derrick didn't break up with me.
Raylan: Why not? He's missing, Raylan.
Raylan: Since when? Since last night when he said you were all up in his business.
Raylan: Business? That's what we're calling it now? You want to find him, you best tell me what's going on. How far down you bury this sh1t? I'm almost there. I know it. I'm hungry. Mm. I'm starting to lose faith in you, D. I swear. I was out here with her two days ago. I buried it myself. What? It's not here. That's what. No. No. It's here. Give me the shovel. No, no. It's here. It's here. Let me see that. No! Just a little deeper. You kill him, I ain't diggin'. The sh1t ain't buried here. The bitch moved it on him. You know what? You a dumbass. You know that? It never occurred to you, huh? That's a smart move not to trust your pussy ass. It stings, don't it? Listen, man, may not be much consolation for you, but you was gonna be in this hole either way. No, no, no. Please.
Raylan: Hey, look who it is, frick and frack.
[Grunts]
You gonna make me do the paperwork? You all right? No. That nigga hit me with a shovel. You don't want to arrest us. Arresting us ain't no good.
Raylan: Why's that? 'Cause hot rod's just gonna keep goin' after them kids.
Raylan: Hot Rod... Dunham from Memphis? sh1t, Derrick, how'd you get messed up with him? Guess.
Raylan: God damn it, Loretta.
[Siren wails]
[Police radio chatter]
Mooney. Aah. You know, I thought you and I were gonna be able to have a little bit of fun. But not only do you embarrass me, but I've got to hear from my deputies that Boyd Crowder came to visit you at the hospital. I don't know what you're... Not another word, baby girl. Hey. Hey. You know what people around here see when they look at you? They see a sexy woman that cashed in her self-respect for a rich husband. Basically... they see a whore. And when I arrest you for trying to kill your husband, there ain't a jury in the great state of Kentucky that won't convict your ass. Now, I want you to go home, and I want you to think long and hard about the night that Lee was attacked. Then I want you to come into the station, and we're gonna do this the right way. You got that? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Good. Now, you drive safe now, honey. You know, if you was smart, you'd be gone before they showed up.
Raylan: Apparently I ain't that smart. "Apparently"? Yeah, where you messed up was when you called your girl. You know, the chick you called in the car. The date you broke off when you was, uh, comin' out here. He means Alison.
Raylan: I know who he means. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Alison. What's the deal with that? You know, what you should have told her was not that you weren't gonna come to dinner tonight, but that you ain't ever comin' to dinner again.
Raylan: My general rule is, you keep talkin', I put you in the trunk. You're a lousy conversationalist. Last chance.
[Chuckles]
Oh, look at this motley crew.
Raylan: I don't suppose your boys are unarmed. You know, I get a call from a Givens at this late hour, I get nervous.
Raylan: "A Givens," huh? I guess that means you knew Arlo. Oh, I knew him well. We did plenty of business over the years.
Raylan: Good for you. Now, you want to hear the deal, or you want to talk about my family? Oh, i... is that what we're doin' here? Dealing?
Raylan: First off, whatever transpired between you and those kids gets squashed. No vendetta, no debt. You tell me it's over, and it stays that way. Would you prefer that I respond point by point or should I wait till the end?
Raylan: You can wait till the end. Okay.
Raylan: Second, no one in your organization steps foot in Kentucky again. You keep to Memphis, and you leave me and mine out of it. Anything else?
Raylan: No, that's it. You see, the problem is, I entered into business with these kids, and they pulled a slick one on me. I can't let that slide, and furthermore, I shouldn't have to.
Raylan: You get in the weed business with teenagers and it's their fault when things go wrong? You the type of fellow that walks under a flock of birds and is surprised when he ends up with sh1t on his face? Just 'cause I knew your daddy, don't think I won't have you killed right now. See, Arlo knew when to walk away. Did you learn nothin' from him?
Raylan: Oh, I learned a bit. When I was a boy, Arlo had this scam stealin' mining equipment, shipping it South, tradin' it for cocaine. A couple company men got wind of who was rippin' them off, and they went after Arlo and his crew. They shot up a couple spots, including our house. They killed Casper Johns... wasn't with the crew, was just living with us at the time... and then this other fella that Arlo had been runnin' with since high school. You get what I'm sayin'? Even before I went to Glynco and trained to be a dead shot, I seen people kill one another, and I learned to be ready in case they came after me to do me harm. In other words, I'll kill four of you before you even clear your weapons and I'll take my chances with the other two, and you see this star? That's gonna make it legal. Now, do we have an understandin' here? All right, Derrick, this is your stop. You serious?
Raylan: Mm-hmm. You want me to take the bus?
Raylan: Unless you'd rather walk. Derrick, I got a loaded gun. Get out of my car. All right. Whatever, man. Come on, Loretta. Loretta, let's go.
Raylan: Your call. Well, thanks for the ride.
Raylan: You lied to him, didn't you? Moved the money and didn't tell him. I'm not a total moron.
Raylan: Even though you knew it might get him killed. It didn't.
Raylan: sh1t. Your performance at the marshals office. Moved to tears 'cause he was missin' was just so I'd take care of your problem for you. You played me. I didn't play you, Raylan. You are who you are. You were gonna go lookin' for Derrick the moment I told you he was missin'.
Raylan: Loretta, in the future, do me a favor... take it easy on the rest of us, huh?
[Engine turns over]
All right. Hey! Hey! Now, y'all pay close attention, and I'll show you how this sh1t is done. You ready, crackpot? Yeah? All right. Now, don't go easy on me, now.
[Chuckles]
Ready... hey! No, no, no. Back here. Set... go! Go. Go. Come on. Come on. Come on. Here it comes. Like a little jackrabbit.
[Gun fires]
Ow, man! Ohhhh! sh1t! Damn, Cyrus! How many times you pump that thing? Oh, don't be such a pussy. sh1t didn't even break the skin. Let me see it. Let me see it.
[Laughs]
Tony B, pay the man.
[Laughs]
Bye-bye, crackpot.
[Chuckles]
[Car horn honks]
Hey, watch where you're goin'!
[Car horn honks]
You ain't got nothin' better to do than shoot at runnin' junkies. Not until you showed up I didn't. What's up, candy? I don't know. You tell me. I'm afraid I'm a little dry right now. Oh, well, in that case, then, so am I. Hey, hey, hey. Hold up. Hold up. Come here. Stay here. I might have heard something about some sh1t comin' in. Give you the inside scoop and a free taste you stick around a while. I'm listening. First, you got what I like?
[Chuckles]
It'll be just like your dick's in a popcorn machine.
[Chuckles]
sh1t comes in tonight. Be on the street first thing tomorrow mornin'.
[Chuckles]
Well, you sure do know how to make a girl happy. And now you're gonna return the favor.
[Chuckles]
Dewey: [Laughs]
I got to tell you right now, there ain't a man on planet earth ridin' high as Dewey Crowe.
[Knock on door]
Hey, Dewey.
Dewey: Unless Hitler has risen from the grave and is in my whorehouse, go away right now, Messer! You know I wouldn't bother you if it weren't real important. But I do need you for a minute. I told him, you know, he couldn't just go on and take stuff for free, but he said he's your kin.
[Chuckles]
Darryl: There he is.
Big time!
Dewey: Darryl.
Darryl: You got yourself a nice setup in here. Yeah, boy. It's good to see you, cousin Dewey. Real good to see you, family. Mm.
Art: Oh, hey, ed, thanks for gettin' back to me so quick. You must not have anything to do up there. Well, anything for Art Mullen in the twilight of his great career.
Art: [Chuckles] You do lay it on thick, Ed. How can I help?
Art: Um, I was just wonderin' if your office had anything to do with the fallout from the Sammy Tonin fiasco. No, that's been mainly the FBI and D.P.D. on the front lines. We come in if they need extra firepower or a seizure team. Why?
Art: I was hopin' you guys might have some information about Sammy's whereabouts the night Nicky augustine got killed. The shooting on the tarmac?
Art: That's right. The one in Lexington?
Art: Yeah. Guess I can do a little poking around, see what I can find.
Art: Well, I'd appreciate it. All right. You got it.
Art: All right.
Alison: So, you think she'll be okay?
Raylan: Until she screws up again.
Alison: Well, maybe she won't.
Raylan: She's the daughter of a murdered pot farmer. She is who she is. Ain't gonna change.
Alison: Well, at least you're not feeding me bullshit to get laid.
Raylan: I was just about to get to that.
Alison: I hate to break it to you, but this is not gonna end up with us wakin' up together.
Raylan: You're just gonna use me and go home, huh?
Alison: [Chuckles] When I was 17, I had this job, and I was sellin' military equipment at trade shows, and they didn't care I was underage. And they would brief me on sarin gas mask, and then I would go and I would shake my ass and [chuckles] charm these four-star generals into buying half a million units.
Raylan: Sounds pretty good.
Alison: Oh. It was sh1t. But I did make good money, and I got to travel, which was a nice perk, you know, being from Penhook, Virginia. Anyway, I met a few military boys.
Raylan: Ohhh. And the military guys turned you off from men in the service.
Alison: Oh, lord, no. Those boys, they were fit and polite and sweet as pie. No, it wasn't till I got this job and started dating cops that I got turned off from all y'all.
Raylan: Maybe I'm different.
Alison: You are different. You're livin' in a criminal's house, drivin' his car, drinkin' his wine.
Raylan: I have my own place.
Alison: Above a college bar. And then there's the kid in Florida.
Raylan: She's fine with her mother.
Alison: Yeah, but shouldn't you and her be tryin' to make it work?
Raylan: We did. That's how we ended up with the kid.
Alison: Should I keep going?
Raylan: There's some red flags, I admit.
Alison: Mm-hmm. Doesn't mean I'm not capable of change. Just give me a target to shoot for. I'll hit it.
Alison: Like what? Gettin' me in that hot tub?
Raylan: That's not what I was thinkin'.
Alison: No? Then what is?
Raylan: You like to bowl?
[Machine beeping]
Mara.
Boyd: Pull over. Now. What the hell happened?
Boyd: sh1t. They hit our shipment. Who the hell could have done all this?
Boyd: Clean it up. The cars, the bodies... all of it.
|
Plan: A: Darryl; Q: Who is Dewey's cousin? A: Harlan; Q: What town does Darryl descend upon? A: a young friend's unfortunate mess; Q: What does Raylan try to undo? A: Ava; Q: Who is Boyd trying to free from jail? Summary: Dewey's ruthless cousin Darryl descends upon Harlan, as Raylan tries to undo a young friend's unfortunate mess, and Boyd struggles to free Ava from jail.
|
The Massacre (of St. Bartholomew's Eve) by John Lucarotti first broadcast - 5th February, 1966
[SCENE_BREAK]
1: EXT. COURTYARD OFF CITY STREET
(The TARDIS materialises in a courtyard that has a wooden gate leading off to a city street. The DOCTOR and STEVEN exit the ship in their usual attire. They come out of the yard and look around their surroundings. The sound of people and a horse and cart can be heard in the distance.)
DOCTOR: Hmm, highly satisfactory.
STEVEN: If anyone opens that gate they'll find the TARDIS.
DOCTOR: Oh nonsense, my boy. It's perfectly safe in there. Yes. France, most certainly. (He laughs.)
STEVEN: Well how do you know that?
DOCTOR: Hmm!
(The DOCTOR points to a sign that reads "RUE DE BETHISY".)
STEVEN: (To himself.) Very good! Date? (To the DOCTOR.) Any idea of the date, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, by the look of those houses I would say medieval. Although I suppose it might be as late as the seventeenth century. I...
STEVEN: (Interrupting.) Look out!
(A man dressed in clothes of the sixteenth century, comes into sight wandering purposefully towards one of the houses. The DOCTOR and STEVEN hide behind some bushes and observe. The man knocks on a door that is soon opened by a SERVANT.)
MAN: Nicholas Muss is expecting me.
SERVANT: Oh yes, of course.
(He is admitted by the SERVANT. The DOCTOR and STEVEN come out of hiding.)
DOCTOR: (Laughs.) You see that? We've landed in the middle of the sixteenth century. Hmm! Yes, and that was the very time.
STEVEN: What are you talking about?
DOCTOR: Yes. That strange brotherhood of apothecaries...way ahead of their time. Now, what was the name of that man that lived in Paris? Err...Pes?...Pret?... Preslin! Preslin. That's the man. Yes! The most advanced man of them all! I must try to get to see him.
(Suddenly the door of the house opens and the first man who knocked previously exits with another man. They start to walk down the street. Again, the DOCTOR and STEVEN jump into hiding behind the bushes and listen to their conversation.)
MAN: You are much too cautious, Nicholas. The Catholics know of only one way to settle our differences. NICHOLAS: Times are difficult enough for us, without you provoking further quarrels.
MAN: I?! Oh come, be fair! Paris hates our kind. It will do anything it can to provoke us.
NICHOLAS: You must control your temper, Gaston. It is imperative that we keep the peace at this time.
(They walk off. The DOCTOR and STEVEN again come out of the bushes.)
STEVEN: We're in Paris.
DOCTOR: Quite so, dear boy. Well now, don't let us dawdle. We must go in and change.
STEVEN: Have you got the right clothes?
DOCTOR: You'd be surprised what I've got in my wardrobe and I want to turn over a few old papers. Come along, there's no time to lose. Come along. Come along, come along!
[SCENE_BREAK]
2: INT. TAVERN
(NICHOLAS, GASTON and several other men are drinking at a nearby tavern.)
GASTON: Now, now, is everybody's mug filled?
ALL: Yes.
GASTON: Then drink to Henri of Navarre, our Protestant prince.
ALL: Henri of Navarre!
(They drink the toast. Nearby, another man SIMON Duvall, calls out to them.)
SIMON: And to his bride, our Catholic princess.
(Hearing this, GASTON chokes purposely on his drink. He ignores the man who made the second toast and shouts to the LANDLORD.)
GASTON: Landlord!
LANDLORD: Yes, sir?
GASTON: Have you got no decent wine? Where are the Burgundies? Or even the German wines?
LANDLORD: Sir, we have the best Bordeaux on the market.
GASTON: (With contempt.) A thin Catholic brew!
(There is laughter but not from NICHOLAS who feels that GASTON is provoking the situation.)
NICHOLAS: Gaston, no!
SIMON: For a freethinking German, monsieur Muss, you have some sense. Vicomte, you have insulted her Highness the Princess.
GASTON: Simon Duvall, what a surprise. No doubt you visit this tavern because the air is clearer of rigid Catholic dogma?
(There is laughter from GASTON'S companions but again NICHOLAS does not join in.)
SIMON: You have not answered me.
GASTON: Answered you? I wasn't aware you had asked me a question.
SIMON: The insult to Princess Marguerite.
NICHOLAS: It was an accident. He choked.
SIMON: Well then. Drink again. To her.
(There is a pause.)
NICHOLAS: Yes. (To GASTON.) We both will. To the Princess.
(They all drink but GASTON proceeds to spit his out. There is laughter again from his companions as SIMON, furious, turns away to have a quiet word with the LANDLORD.)
SIMON: Most of them are in the service of the Admiral de Coligny?
LANDLORD: I have to serve them, sir. I hate these Huguenots as much as the next man but I have to live.
SIMON: Certainly you must serve them, but watch and listen. Report to me anything you hear or see.
LANDLORD: Certainly, anything, sir. Here in Paris we know what is right. Though for people like myself... with a living to earn.
SIMON: Of course. (He hands him a coin.) But watch your business.
(He makes for the door but GASTON calls out to him.)
GASTON: Duvall, leaving so soon? Can't you stomach the wine here?
SIMON: I have business elsewhere. After all, my dear Vicomte, a tavern is a place where a gentleman may refresh himself, while simpler people amuse him with their badinage.
(Swords are drawn but SIMON sees that he is outnumbered. He replaces his sword and makes for the door. GASTON and his companions laugh. SIMON leaves the tavern passing the DOCTOR and STEVEN as they enter. STEVEN is dressed in much more appropriate clothing for the age with a cloak, ruffled collar, hat and sword. Aside from a hat, cloak and cane, the DOCTOR'S attire is not much different.)
DOCTOR: It won't be of the least interest to you, dear boy. Landlord! Wine!
(They sit at one of the benches.)
STEVEN: What? I'm not going to sit in the TARDIS whilst you gallivant around Paris.
DOCTOR: I shall do nothing of the sort. I'm going to visit Preslin. He lives on the other side of Paris, somewhere near Port St. Martin I believe.
(The LANDLORD puts a jug of wine and two small cups on the table.)
DOCTOR: Thank you. (To STEVEN.) I just want to sit down and have a talk with him about his work. Are you interested in germinology, hmm?
STEVEN: I don't know. What is it?
DOCTOR: Well, well, there you are, you see and you know nothing about this period do you? You'd only be found out for the man that you are.
STEVEN: Look, I'll be careful! I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself. I'd just walk around Paris and see the sights.
DOCTOR: Well, in that case I shan't visit Preslin.
STEVEN: Oh don't be silly! You can't wait to talk to him. Go on! You go. I'll be all right.
DOCTOR: Well...
STEVEN: You'll never forgive yourself if you don't.
DOCTOR: Well you promise me you won't get into trouble?
STEVEN: Yes, of course.
DOCTOR: Well try not to talk to anyone. And come back here this evening and we'll go off to the TARDIS together.
STEVEN: Yes, all right. Now, you go and find your monsieur Preslin.
DOCTOR: Quite, quite, You'll need that.
(He throws STEVEN a gold coin.)
STEVEN: Thanks...
DOCTOR: And don't cut yourself with that sword.
(The DOCTOR starts to leave and bumps into a man on the way out.)
DOCTOR: Oh, I do beg your pardon.
(The DOCTOR is followed by the man as he leaves. STEVEN spots this and gets up to follow.)
LANDLORD: (To STEVEN.) Here, you! It is customary, sir, to pay for the wine consumed.
STEVEN: Oh, oh yes, of course. Here take this.
(STEVEN hands over the gold coin.)
LANDLORD: The wine is two Sous. I cannot change this.
STEVEN: Well that's all I have.
LANDLORD: I cannot change gold.
NICHOLAS: Can I help you? You're a stranger here.
STEVEN: Yes. This man won't change my money.
LANDLORD: I ask for two Sous and he gives me an Ecu. I cannot change such a coin.
NICHOLAS: Here.
(NICHOLAS pays the LANDLORD.)
LANDLORD: Thank you, sir.
(He starts to walk off with both the Sous and the Ecu.)
NICHOLAS: (To the LANDLORD.) Is that Parisian hospitality?
LANDLORD: What do you mean, sir?
NICHOLAS: The gentleman's Ecu.
LANDLORD: A thousand apologies. I wasn't thinking.
(He gives STEVEN his Ecu back and walks off.)
STEVEN: Oh. Thank you. I'm afraid I don't understand your money.
NICHOLAS: Not at all.
(NICHOLAS starts to walk off.)
STEVEN: Excuse me.
NICHOLAS: Yes?
STEVEN: Can you tell me the way to the Port St. Martin?
NICHOLAS: Certainly, but as a stranger to Paris I think you'll have difficulty finding it.
STEVEN: I shall try. You see I must find a man called Preslin.
NICHOLAS: I'm sorry. I don't know the name. Is anything wrong?
STEVEN: Well, I don't know. You see the friend who was with me has gone there. When he left here it looked as though he was followed.
NICHOLAS: The old man?
STEVEN: Yes, you see he's gone to find an apothecary there.
NICHOLAS: Is he sick?
STEVEN: Oh no! No, no, he's a scientist. He's gone to talk to him about his idea.
NICHOLAS: A dangerous thing to do in days like these.
STEVEN: Oh, perhaps it doesn't matter. He'll be able to take care of himself. He usually does.
NICHOLAS: In that case you needn't worry...
STEVEN: (Uncertain.) No
NICHOLAS: (Seeing this.) I don't think you're sure. Look, come and drink some wine with us and later I'll take you to the Port St. Martin.
STEVEN: Thank you, but er, well, I don't want to intrude...
NICHOLAS: Nonsense, come and join us. Later, we'll make sure your friend is safe.
STEVEN: (Thinks then...) Thank you. I'm afraid I've never been in Paris before.
NICHOLAS: Allow us to be your guides.
(He escorts STEVEN over to where GASTON and the others sit.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
3: INT. PRESLIN'S RESIDENCE
(Inside PRESLIN'S shop, an OLD MAN is gathering supplies, placing them in a large bag. He seems nervous and in a hurry. There is a knock at a door. The OLD MAN looks up in alarm but makes no move to answer the knock. There is a second knock and then the unlocked door is opened and the DOCTOR enters.)
OLD MAN: What do you want?
(The DOCTOR closes the door to and walks into the shop.)
DOCTOR: I am looking for Charles Preslin.
OLD MAN: He doesn't live here.
DOCTOR: Oh, but this is his shop?
OLD MAN: It was. He's gone.
DOCTOR: Where?
OLD MAN: He's left Paris.
DOCTOR: Oh dear, dear, dear. Now isn't that a pity. And I did so want to talk to him about his work.
OLD MAN: Make more trouble for him?
DOCTOR: Trouble? Not at all! I'm a scientist too. I merely wish to discuss his work with him.
OLD MAN: He was merely a mixer of herbs and ointments.
DOCTOR: Perhaps to you, but he was a man who searched deeply in nature. I didn't think he was a faint heart.
OLD MAN: No, but cautious.
DOCTOR: I see. Yes. He also discovered, er, small creatures, which if attacking humanity could cause a very serious illness.
OLD MAN: You're not French?
DOCTOR: No.
OLD MAN: Yet you know of Preslin?
DOCTOR: Yes, in science news travels. Yes. And there's a man in Germany who's working on optics, trying to make a machine, which will enable Preslin to see these small creatures. He calls them germs.
OLD MAN: (Excited.) Is it so! Are they really doing this?
DOCTOR: Yes. So now, doesn't this encourage you to continue with your theories, monsieur Preslin?
PRESLIN: (Pauses then answers with resignation.) Yes, I am Charles Preslin. Forgive me, but in these days one has to be careful.
DOCTOR: Yes of course, my dear fellow. But I'm extremely curious about your work, Monsieur Preslin.
[SCENE_BREAK]
4: INT. TAVERN
(STEVEN has been introduced by NICHOLAS to GASTON who has treated him with suspicion and with a lot of questions.)
NICHOLAS: Don't mind Gaston, he's like this with any stranger. In fact, he'd cross-question his own shadow.
GASTON: Don't mock me, Nicholas. I'm in France to protect my master, Henri of Navarre. Just as you are to protect de Coligny.
NICHOLAS: You're too suspicious. Steven's been travelling abroad. He knows nothing about what's been happening here. Do you?
STEVEN: I really do know very little.
GASTON: Yes, but if you come from England you must be for the Huguenot? He is what you call a...a Protestant!
STEVEN: Oh, yes.
GASTON: (To NICHOLAS.) There you see it's just that I'm interested in our friend. (To STEVEN.) Now tell us where you've been travelling.
STEVEN: (Nervous.) Well, I've been...I've been in Egypt!
NICHOLAS: (Amazed.) In Egypt!
STEVEN: Yes...look, er, I've taken up far too much of your time. Perhaps you'd be good enough to tell me the way to the Port St. Martin?
NICHOLAS: I'll come with you, and show you the city.
STEVEN: Ah, thank you, but really I should try to find my friend.
GASTON: Wise man. Nicholas here only knows the most boring places. (They all laugh.)
NICHOLAS: At least let me point out the start of your journey.
STEVEN: Yes, thank you.
(He leads him towards the door.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
5: EXT. STREET
(Elsewhere in the city, a young serving GIRL bursts from a fine house. A CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD follows.)
CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD: Guards!
(The GIRL is obviously terrified and runs, pursued by the CAPTAIN and a guard intent on retrieving her. Tearing through the crowded streets, she cannot shake off her pursuers.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
6: EXT. STREET OUTSIDE TAVERN
(NICHOLAS and STEVEN are outside the tavern. NICHOLAS has given STEVEN directions to Port St. Martin.)
NICHOLAS: When you get there, ask again. Anyone will tell you.
STEVEN: I think I can find it now. Thank you, Nicholas.
NICHOLAS: A pleasure.
(The GIRLS' path through the streets brings her directly to the tavern door just as the guards are about to catch up with her. STEVEN reaches out immediately to the frightened GIRL and she sees the kindness in his eyes. She ducks behind him into the tavern and slams the door shut.
CAPTAIN: Let us pass!
(The guards, STEVEN and NICHOLAS walk into the tavern.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
7: INT. TAVERN
(GASTON and his companions look up as the guards enter. The GIRL is not in sight.)
GASTON: And what do you want?
CAPTAIN: The girl who came in here.
GASTON: My Lord Cardinal's guard aren't you? What does he want with a wench?
CAPTAIN: She is a servant. She ran away. I have orders to bring her back.
GASTON: She doesn't appear to care for the Cardinal's service. I suggest you let her go.
CAPTAIN: She has chosen for the staff of the house of the Abbot of Amboise.
GASTON: Clearly she likes that no more.
CAPTAIN: Let me pass!
(Swords are drawn but the CAPTAIN and the one guard are outnumbered.)
CAPTAIN: My Lord Abbot shall hear of this when he arrives.
GASTON: Yes, I'm sure he will. Tell him to take this story to our Cardinal in Rome. No doubt he'll like it also.
(The guards leave to the sound of laughter from GASTON and his companions.)
GASTON: There now. I thought he might be roused. What a pity!
NICHOLAS: (In admonition.) Gaston!
(GASTON spots STEVEN across the tavern.)
GASTON: Hey, come Mister Englishman. Join us again. Clearly not safe for you to walk alone.
STEVEN: What about the girl? Where is she?
GASTON: She's just a servant. A chance to bait a Catholic. Forget her! Come! Come! Come!
[SCENE_BREAK]
8: INT. PRESLIN'S RESIDENCE
DOCTOR: But who is this Abbot, hmm?
PRESLIN: The Abbot of Amboise. He hates us all.
DOCTOR: Yes, I suppose just now all churchmen are rather suspicious of your work. But surely you can carry on without his knowledge, hmm?
PRESLIN: You don't know the man! The Abbot of Amboise is the Cardinal of Lorraine's right hand. With the Cardinal in Rome the Abbot has decided to come to Paris. We shall be hunted down. That man is far more dangerous than the Cardinal.
DOCTOR: I suppose there's no point in, er, going to see him?
PRESLIN: None, unless you want to be thrown into prison for heresy!
DOCTOR: Hmm, I wonder.
[SCENE_BREAK]
9: INT. TAVERN
STEVEN: The girl was clearly frightened out of her wits. We should find her.
GASTON: Nonsense. She's probably gone back to her own people.
STEVEN: But don't you want to know why she was so frightened?
GASTON: No.
NICHOLAS: Many things frighten people in Paris these days.
(GASTON spots the GIRL across the tavern.)
GASTON: Hey, hey, hey, you! Girl, come here.
(He snaps his fingers at her. The GIRL cautiously walks over.)
GASTON: Come on! Now then, my friend here, whom you ran into, wants to know why you're frightened?
(The GIRL doesn't answer. GASTON slams the table in impatience.)
GASTON: Come on, girl!
NICHOLAS: For goodness sake, you're frightening her even more!
GASTON: It's all right. Just tell us what it is you fear.
GIRL: Nothing, sir.
STEVEN: Yes, but you were running away. Why?
(The GIRL again doesn't answer. GASTON turns to one of his companions.)
GASTON: Louis, call back the guards.
GIRL: No!
GASTON: Then answer us! Why were you frightened?
GIRL: It is something I overheard, sir.
GASTON: What?
GIRL: Well, you see, I come from Vase. And when they said 'it might happen again'...
GASTON: (Interrupting.) What's that?
GIRL: They said it would happen again, and my father died there!
GASTON: Vase!
NICHOLAS: Calm down, Gaston. (Gently to the GIRL.) What did you hear?
GIRL: I was just passing the room and I heard them mention Vase.
GASTON: What did they say?
GIRL: Something about it, er, about it happening before the week was past.
GASTON: Who spoke?
GIRL: The Captain who followed me inside and another man.
NICHOLAS: Now tell us exactly what you heard.
GIRL: Just, just the word that made me stop, sir. My father died at Vase and...
GASTON: (Interrupting.) Yes, yes, I know, but go on!
STEVEN: What are you all talking about?
NICHOLAS: Ten years ago at Vase, a small town some miles south of Paris, a hundred Huguenots were slaughtered by the Catholics.
STEVEN: Why?
GASTON: Because they were Huguenots.
NICHOLAS: Listen, girl. What do they call you?
ANNE: Anne.
NICHOLAS: Anne, think back. Remember every single word the Captain and the other man said.
ANNE: But I've told you.
GASTON: Then tell us again.
[SCENE_BREAK]
10: INT. CARDINAL'S RESIDENCE
(The CAPTAIN OF THE GUARD is reporting on his failure to recapture ANNE to SIMON and ROGER Colbert who is the man who followed the DOCTOR from the tavern.)
SIMON: Fool! To allow the meddlesome Vicomte De Leran to stop you!
CAPTAIN: There were too many of them. They'd have killed us before we even found the girl.
ROGER: The girl is just a servant. She couldn't have understood us.
SIMON: If she should remember what you said and should repeat it she could put our friend on his guard.
ROGER: We didn't speak of him.
SIMON: Then what did you say to frighten the girl?
CAPTAIN: Nothing.
SIMON: Servants don't run away from a house in fear for nothing.
CAPTAIN: I think we mentioned Vase and the celebrations here in Paris but nothing that anyone could've made head or tail of.
SIMON: She made something of it! (He thinks.) Vase? That might have been it. That word alone is enough to put every Huguenot in Paris on his guard.
ROGER: I will go and look for her.
SIMON: You will not. You will wait here and report this to the Abbot. It was your mistake. I'm sure he will want to congratulate you himself.
ROGER: But...
(SIMON looks at him meaningfully. ROGER backs down.)
ROGER: Very well.
SIMON: (To the CAPTAIN.) And you, find out if she has any relations in Paris. If she has seek them out. And find if she's fled there. That girl must be found!
[SCENE_BREAK]
11: INT. TAVERN
(GASTON and NICHOLAS are questioning ANNE inside the tavern with STEVEN.)
GASTON: She can't help us any more. You can go.
NICHOLAS: No, wait! If the Catholics find her they can easily discover what she's told us. We must keep her out of sight.
GASTON: And just what do you propose to do with her?
NICHOLAS: She can work in the Admiral's kitchen. They won't find her there. (To ANNE.) Go to the house of the Admiral de Coligny. Tell them that Nicholas Muss sent you.
ANNE: Where's that, sir?
GASTON: (Slamming his drink down on the table.) Oh, no one is more ignorant than the common people of Paris. The Admiral of France lives on the corner of Rue de Bethisy and the Rue de Labrasec.
ANNE: Thank you sir.
(She leaves the tavern.)
STEVEN: But what do they mean these things she overheard?
GASTON: A threat to Navarre. I must warn him. I'll see you later.
(He too, leaves.)
NICHOLAS: I'm afraid you have arrived in Paris at a most unfortunate time.
STEVEN: I wish I understood what was going on.
NICHOLAS: My English friend, it's really quite simple. Henri of Navarre is a Huguenot, a Protestant prince. Yesterday he married Marguerite of France, a Catholic. The marriage was arranged by the Queen Mother in the hope that it would heal the religious wound that is tearing France in two. But in the light of what that girl overheard, it looks as if the Catholics of France are plotting against Navarre's life. Do you understand?
STEVEN: Yes. Yes, I think I do.
NICHOLAS: Now, I must leave you. I must see the Admiral at once. Forgive me that I cannot show you Paris.
STEVEN: Oh I shall be all right. Besides, my friend should be returning soon.
NICHOLAS: Pleasant journey. Goodbye.
STEVEN: Goodbye.
(He leaves STEVEN.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
12: INT. PRESLIN'S RESIDENCE
(Later that evening, PRESLIN receives another visitor - a small boy...)
PRESLIN: You showed the old man the way? (The boy nods.) Good, I only hope he succeeds. You were not seen? I should hope not?
(The boy shakes his head.)
PRESLIN: You've done well.
(He shows the boy out, then, to himself...)
PRESLIN: Good luck, old man. Good luck.
[SCENE_BREAK]
13: INT. TAVERN
(STEVEN paces the tavern, restless and worried about the DOCTOR. SIMON walks through the door and goes up to the LANDLORD.)
SIMON: Where's the girl?
LANDLORD: The girl?
SIMON: The girl who came in here this morning. What happened to her?
LANDLORD: I don't know, I was down in the cellar and when I came up there she was being questioned by the Huguenots.
SIMON: Vicomte De Leran? Nicholas Muss?
LANDLORD: Yes. And another man.
SIMON: Who?
LANDLORD: He's still here, over there...
(He points STEVEN out.)
SIMON: Who is he?
LANDLORD: I don't know. A stranger. English, I think.
SIMON: Go on.
LANDLORD: The Vicomte left hurriedly once they'd finished with the girl.
SIMON: And where is she now?
LANDLORD: Sir, it's difficult to hear everything. I must watch over the whole tavern.
SIMON: Haven't I paid you enough?
LANDLORD: Oh come, sir!
SIMON: What happened to the girl?
(He gives him another coin.)
LANDLORD: She...I remember. She was sent to the house of Admiral de Coligny.
SIMON: I see. Thank you, my friend.
(SIMON approaches Steven.)
SIMON: Good evening. A stranger to this city?
STEVEN: (Curtly.) Yes.
SIMON: I thought you must be. Most wise people are at home by this time. It's almost time for the curfew.
STEVEN: The curfew?
SIMON: Yes, an unfortunate necessity which even the marriage of protestant Henri to our great King's sister hasn't been able to rectify.
STEVEN: Look, I'm sorry, but I don't understand. I'm on my way back to England. I really know very little of what's been going on here.
SIMON: I trust you've found yourself somewhere comfortable to stay while you're here. Apartments are hard to find at this time, Paris being so full for the celebrations.
STEVEN: I shall be all right. I'm leaving tonight, I'm just waiting for a friend.
SIMON: I hope he comes soon otherwise he won't be able to leave.
STEVEN: I expect we'll be all right. Thanks.
SIMON: Good.
(SIMON returns to the LANDLORD.)
SIMON: He's waiting for a friend. Watch and see who it is.
(The door opens and NICHOLAS walks in. SIMON hides from view.)
STEVEN: Nicholas!
NICHOLAS: Steven, you're still here. Where's your friend?
STEVEN: Don't know. He said he'd meet here tonight. He hasn't arrived yet.
NICHOLAS: But it's time for the curfew. Where will you stay if he doesn't come?
STEVEN: I don't know. I'm sure he will come.
(A bell begins to ring outside.)
NICHOLAS: There's the curfew now. You must come with me. You can always come back here in the morning. Landlord!
LANDLORD: Yes, sir?
NICHOLAS: If an old man arrives asking for the Englishman tell him he's lodging with the Admiral de Coligny, and will return here in the morning.
LANDLORD: Certainly, sir.
STEVEN: Look, this is very kind of you but I'm sure he will come.
NICHOLAS: Not now, he must be delayed somewhere. There's nothing we can do tonight.
STEVEN: I suppose you're right. He's probably got sidetracked. He often does. All right. Thank you. I will accept your offer.
NICHOLAS: Then come.
(They leave. SIMON comes out of hiding.)
SIMON: English? I wonder what they're up to? (To the LANDLORD.) I shall want a full report in the morning on all that happens.
[SCENE_BREAK]
14: INT. CARDINAL'S RESIDENCE
(ROGER Colbert is reporting to his master, the ABBOT OF AMBOISE. The unseen man is clearly perturbed, not speaking and ROGER is very nervous in his presence as he admits his error.)
ROGER: And that is what happened. If it hadn't been for the Vicomte De Leran the Captain would almost certainly have caught her. It was pure mischance.
(The ABBOT starts to rhythmically slam his walking stick down on the floor.)
ROGER: (Even more nervous.) I'm sure she couldn't have made any sense of what we said. Simon Duvall has gone to the inn where she escaped and the Captain has gone to find an aunt of hers. I'm certain it's only a matter of time. In fact one of them may be bringing her...back...here now.
(SIMON rushes in.)
SIMON: Forgive me, Father Abbot, but the missing girl is at the house of Admiral de Coligny.
(The ABBOT OF AMBOISE looks up.)
ABBOT OF AMBOISE: Fetch her tomorrow! Bring her to me.
(The ABBOT OF AMBOISE is the DOCTOR!.)
|
Plan: A: Missing episode; Q: What is the title of this episode? A: the year 1572; Q: In what year does the TARDIS land in Paris? A: the Doctor; Q: Who decides to visit Charles Preslin? A: the famous apothecary Charles Preslin; Q: Who does the Doctor visit? A: Steven; Q: Who is befriended by a group of Huguenots? A: the Protestant Admiral de Coligny; Q: Who is the leader of the Huguenots? A: Anne Chaplet; Q: Who is the young serving girl that the Huguenots rescue? A: Catherine de Medici; Q: Who was the Catholic Queen Mother? Summary: Missing episode The TARDIS materialises in Paris in the year 1572 and the Doctor decides to visit the famous apothecary Charles Preslin. Steven, meanwhile, is befriended by a group of Huguenots from the household of the Protestant Admiral de Coligny. Having rescued a young serving girl, Anne Chaplet, from some pursuing guards, the Huguenots gain their first inkling of a heinous plan being hatched at the command of the Catholic Queen Mother,Catherine de Medici.
|
Teleplay by: Brian Buckner & Sebastian Jones
Story by: Greg Malins
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around the kitchen table as Ross enters.]
Ross: Hey!
Monica: Hey!
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought I'd take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say you're the only one who's allowed to drive it.
Monica: Yeah, well he's my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Ross: It's a car Monica! Not a rocket ship!
Monica: Whatever Ross! Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin' good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Rachel: (shocked) You let Joey drive it?!
Phoebe: I've never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the y'know, "You can drive it, but don't tell Rachel" plan!
Rachel: Wow! I can't believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I won't let you drive the Porsche is because you're a terrible driver. There! That wasn't about the wedding.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche I'll be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Joey: Yeah, you got a couple hours?
Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with all his hair sticking straight up.]
Ross: Whew! That was a brisk ride!
Rachel: Take the top down did ya?
Ross: Only way to fly.
(Rachel laughs.)
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what she's talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Ross: You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Rachel: Well in High School, that added up to head cheerleader.
(A woman walks by and smiles at Ross's hair.)
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Rachel: I think she's checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: What?! (Checks his hair.) Give-give me a brush.
Rachel: Gimme the keys!
Ross: No way!
Rachel: Well no brush!
Ross: Fine! Y'know what? It doesn't matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
(He goes to the bathroom and after he leaves Rachel goes through his coat and grabs the keys along with a $20 bill. The woman from before watches her do this.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Alimony. (Runs outside.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Monica: Chandler, we still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.
Monica: Chandler! He's your father; he should be at the wedding.
Chandler: I don't even know the man. Okay? We're not that close. I haven't seen him in years.
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasn't even asked?!
Chandler: Well he doesn't have to know! It's not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Chandler: Trust me, you don't want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Monica: So what! As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil I don't care.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]
Rachel: Ahhh! (Gets in.) Ooh, nice!
(Suddenly from out of nowhere Ross dives onto the hood.)
Rachel: My God!
Ross: What do you think you're doing?!
Rachel: Just washing the windshield. (She turns on the wipers forcing Ross off of the hood.)
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why don't you just hand over the keys?
Rachel: Oh.
{Transcriber's Note: She puts the key into the ignition, which is on the left side of the steering wheel. Does anyone know why that is? It's a tradition left over from Porsche's racing history. The world's greatest endurance race is the 24 Hours of LeMans. Which is in France and runs for 24 hours straight from noon on Saturday through the dark of night and finishes at noon on Sunday. In the 60s LeMans had a unique start where the drivers would actually start the race outside of the car and across the track. At the start of the race, the drivers would run across the track, get in the car, buckle up, start the car, and drive off. Porsche wanted to reduce the amount of time that took. Since all cars to that point had the ignition switches on the right side of the steering wheel, that required the drivers to use their right hand to grab the seat-belts, put the car in gear and start it. The driver's left hand did nothing. Porsche in order to save a few seconds in a 24-hour race; moved the ignition switches to the left side of the steering wheel so that the driver could start the car with his left hand while grabbing the seat-belts with his right hand. That's why every Porsche car built since then has the ignition on the left side of the steering wheel.}
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesn't find it.)
Rachel: Look Ross, if you're so freaked out, just get in the car!
Ross: With you?! Yeah right!
Rachel: All right. (She starts off.)
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Rachel: What are you doing?! Get in the front!
Ross: In the death seat?!!
Rachel: Oh my...
(They drive off.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Man: Hey guys!
Joey: Hey!
Phoebe: Hey sweetie!
Man: Ready to go?
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monica's. I'll be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Man: (stopping her) Wait a minute!
Phoebe: What? (He leans in to kiss her.) Oh. (They kiss and Phoebe pauses.) Ooh. (Pause) Whoa! That one kept going. (Exits.)
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Man: Over a month.
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Man: Sure, I'd like that.
Joey: So uh, what's your name?
Man: (laughs) It's Jake.
Joey: Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?
Jake: Yeah, big fan.
Joey: Me too! There's a game on Tuesday, do you wanna go?
Jake: Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday. (He bends over to open his bag, when he does so his pants slide down his butt revealing a pink lace secret.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is entering from the bedroom carrying two bags of luggage.]
Monica: Here! (She sets a bag down in front of him.)
Chandler: What's this?
Monica: It's your suitcase. We're going to Las Vegas.
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowers-Think of the money we'll save!! (Monica just looks at him.) We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Monica: We're going to Las Vegas to see your dad. It's time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: Y'know we already went over this and I won!
Monica: No you didn't. Oh and honey, just so you know, now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I don't want to go. I don't want to see him. I don't wanna.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know...
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, you'd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Y'know it's hard enough to be fourteen. You're skinny. You're wearing speedos-That your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and there's your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. He was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at every one of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? That's a, that's a pretty great dad.
Chandler: He had s*x with Mr. Garibaldi!
Monica: Who's Mr. Garibaldi?
Chandler: Does it matter?!
Monica: Chandler, you're not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe it's time that you let that stuff go. If your father's not at your wedding...you're gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
Monica: Yes!
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Monica: How much did ever really win before?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Pheebs!
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Phoebe: Yeah!
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that...he was wearing women's underwear!
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.) No! No wait, that's weird!
Phoebe: No, it's not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Joey: That's weird!
Phoebe: I'm wearing his briefs right now.
Joey: That's...kinda hot.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldn't know about that.
Phoebe: And! Y'know what Jake says? That women's underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
Joey: Yeah well next thing you know, he'll be telling you that your high heels are good for his posture!
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! I'm thinking even more than you.
Joey: Oh yeah, he looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacys.
Phoebe: I'm just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear! I don't think you could ever do that.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever.
Joey: You've seen my huge stack of p0rn, right? (Phoebe nods.)
[Scene: The Porsche, Rachel is driving along a highway and Ross has finally moved to the death seat and is terrified.]
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Ross: (shocked) You don't have a valid driver's license-Okay that is it! Pull over right now!
Rachel: Oh Ross you're so tense! You just gotta relax, okay? Just need to relax all right? Just need to relax... (She takes her hands off of the wheel.)
Ross: (grabbing the wheel) What-what are you doing?! Are you-Okay that's not funny! Just stop horsing around!
Rachel: I am not horsing around, okay? I am Porsching around.
(Suddenly a siren goes off behind them.)
Rachel: Uh-oh. (She starts to pull over.)
Ross: Okay, stay calm. Nothing is going to happen to you, you are not in that much trouble.
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Ross: I was talking to myself! You're going down!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is walking from the bathroom to his bedroom and walks past a pile of Rachel's laundry, which just happens to include a selection of panties. He stops, goes back to the basket, looks for Rachel, picks up a lavender thong, and heads for his bedroom. However, he decides he doesn't like his selection and goes back this time picking up a red low-cut silk brief and heads for his room, flexing along the way to prove his masculinity.]
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) I'm-I'm sorry I'm new. I don't...
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Chandler: Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)
Waiter in Drag: You're straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Chandler: No! No! I don't want him to know we're here yet! I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And besides, he's not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Monica: Why not?!
Chandler: I don't know if I've told you this, but he's kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Monica: What?!
Chandler: Yeah, he's made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Y'know it's all very Cats in the Cradle-I don't want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket!
(There's applause as Helena turns around and it's Kathleen Turner.)
Helena: Hello darlings.
Chandler: And there's daddy!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: The Porsche, they have pulled over and are waiting for the cop to come talk to them.]
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! I'll go under, you go over!
Ross: Yeah, I'll get right on that.
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
(She sits back up as the policeman approaches. She undoes her top button.)
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Ross: Oh my God.
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Y'know, it's weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh...well I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
Policeman: Your license?
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
Policeman: That's Hanson.
Rachel: Oops sorry, my mistake.
Ross: Dear Lord!!
Policeman: Wow!
Ross: Here it comes.
Policeman: This is a great picture.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Y'know, I had just rolled out of bed.
Policeman: Yeah? Well you look phenomenal.
Ross: Well she should, it was taken ten years ago!
Rachel: Y'know you're-you're probably wondering about the old date on there.
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: Yeah.
Policeman: You're an Aquarius, huh?
Rachel: I bet you're a Gemini.
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Taurus?
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Virgo?
Policeman: Nope.
Rachel: Sagittarius?
Policeman: Yep.
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh....
Policeman: Well I tell you what...
Rachel: Yeah?
Policeman: You're not gonna speed anymore right?
Rachel: I won't speed.
Policeman: And you promise you'll get this taken care of right away?
Rachel: I promise.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
Rachel: Yeah!
Policeman: Can he handle the stick?
Rachel: Oh well...
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: 4 Queens Club, Helena Handbasket is singing.]
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and...(She holds the mike out to the audience.)
All: Gay!
Monica: That can't be your father.
Chandler: Believe me, I've been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Monica: What?
Chandler: That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
Helena: (singing) For I'm loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Chandler: He's coming into the audience. He's coming into the audience.
Monica: Relax! You'll be fine. (Chandler exhales and turns off the table light.) Oh much better. You're invisible now.
Helena: (standing at a table and asking the guy sitting there) Where are you from?
Guy: Bakersfield.
Helena: I'm sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Guy: Bakersfield!
Helena: No-no I heard! I'm just sorry.
Chandler: It can't happen like this. Okay? I'll meet you back at the hotel.
(He gets up to walk out, but Helena spots and stops him.)
Helena: (to Chandler's back) Oh look, a standing ovation already! So early in the show. Oh turn around honey; let me see your pretty face. (He slowly turns around. Helena recognizes him.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! Waiter-Uh, tress!
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Joey enters strutting.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs! (He sits down next to her.)
Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that he's got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Phoebe: Wow! Nice! Manly and also kind of a slut.
Joey: Y'know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: The silk? Feels really good!
Phoebe: Huh.
Joey: Yeah! And-and things aren't as...smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Phoebe: That's great Joe!
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with men's underwear!
Phoebe: Uh-huh.
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! You've got cotton, silk, lace! And y'know what I've always wondered about?
Phoebe: Hmm?
Joey: Pantyhose! Y'know? The way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here... (He mimed that and stops when he realizes he went too far.) I should go take these off shouldn't I?
Phoebe: I think it's important that you do.
(Joey agrees and heads to take them off.)
[Scene: 4 Queens Club, scene continued from earlier.]
Helena: So what's your name?
Chandler: (resigning himself to his fate) Chandler. (He quickly sits down.)
Helena: Chandler? What an unusual name! You must've had terribly fascinating parents.
Chandler: Oh, they're a hoot.
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Monica: I'm-I'm Monica.
Helena: Monica! Where are you from?
Monica: New York.
Helena: I'm not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monica's ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Helena: Really?! Congratulations. When's the big day?
Monica: (looks at Chandler) In...in two weeks.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So you're bald?
Chandler: Wait! Wait! We'd really love it if you could be there.
Helena: We? (Looks at Monica who nods.)
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, ma'am.
Helena: Well I wouldn't miss it for the world. Oh! I'm getting all misty here! You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You okay?
Chandler: Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life... (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) It's raining men!
The Chorus Line: Hallelujah!
Helena: It's raining men!
The Chorus Line: Amen!
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I...played the one on the far left.
[Scene: The Porsche, cars are whizzing by and honking their horns on both sides very quickly as Ross creeps along.]
Rachel: Remind me to introduce you to someone!
Ross: Who?
Rachel: Fourth gear!!
(Suddenly a siren goes off.)
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasn't doing anything!
Rachel: Well maybe he saw your hand slip briefly from the ten and two o'clock position.
Ross: Maybe it's uh Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more! (They pull over.)
Rachel: It's a different guy!
(The policeman walks up.)
Ross: Good evening officer.
Policeman: Do you know how fast you were traveling back there?
Ross: Ah no. I don't, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Policeman: You're right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Ross: I mean you're not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Policeman: That's right.
(There's a pause as Ross gets suddenly flirtatious.)
Ross: Y'know of-officer I uh...I had the weirdest dream last night...
Rachel: Oh my God!
Policeman: Your license please.
Ross: (laughs) You don't-you don't want to hear about my dream Officer...Pretty?
Policeman: It's Petty. (He grabs Ross's license.) I'll be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Ross: I know. I know.
Ending Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is returning from having removed Rachel's panties.]
Phoebe: Feel better?
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that I'm y'know insecure about my manhood or anything y'know, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I understand.
Joey: Yeah! Okay! (He notices a beautiful woman sitting behind the couch and goes to talk to her.) Hey! Hi!
Woman: Hi!
Joey: Y'know, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Woman: I don't think so.
Joey: Oh! Maybe it's because I'm on television. I'm an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Woman: Wow!
Joey: Yeah.
Woman: Really?!
Joey: Hm-mmm.
Waitress: (to the woman) $4.50 please.
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
|
Plan: A: Chandler; Q: Who tries to reconcile with his estranged gay father? A: Kathleen Turner; Q: Who plays Chandler's father? A: Monica's request; Q: What is the reason Chandler tries to reconcile with his father? A: one; Q: How many of Mr. Bing's drag shows did Monica and Chandler attend? A: his fear; Q: What does Ross feel when Rachel drives his car? A: Joey; Q: Who takes Phoebe's advice about his masculinity? A: women's underwear; Q: What does Joey try on? A: the Porsche; Q: What kind of car does Rachel take for a spin? A: a license; Q: What does Rachel get caught driving without? A: the officer; Q: Who does Rachel flirt with to avoid a ticket? A: the freeway; Q: Where was Ross pulled over? A: similar (but unsuccessful) flirtatious attempts; Q: What happens when Ross is pulled over? Summary: Chandler tries to reconcile with his estranged gay father ( Kathleen Turner ), per Monica's request. Monica and Chandler attend one of Mr. Bing's drag shows, where father and son reconcile, and Mr. Bing agrees to attend. Rachel, an irresponsible driver, takes Monica's Porsche for a spin with Ross (much to his fear). Joey takes Phoebe's advice about his masculinity, resulting in him trying on women's underwear. Rachel gets caught driving the Porsche without a license and flirts with the officer to avoid a ticket. Later, Ross is pulled over for driving too slow on the freeway, resulting in similar (but unsuccessful) flirtatious attempts.
|
[Scene: Manor, outside.]
(A man in a black suit enters the house.)
[Scene: Manor, foyer.]
(The house is filled with people. A man and a woman are talking.)
Man: Goodbye.
Woman: Okay, see you later.
(The woman picks a white rose from a basket filled with white roses and starts writing something in the book lying next to it. Victor is standing in the hall. A man walks over to Victor.)
Man: Victor.
(They shake hands.)
Victor: Thanks for coming by, I really appreciate it.
Man: My condolences.
Victor: Thank you, thank you.
[Scene: Manor, living room.]
(A picture of Piper is standing on a table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are several white roses laying in front of the picture. A woman lays another one on top of them.)
Woman #1: We love you, Piper.
Woman #2: We love you.
Man: I knew you two were close.
Woman #1: I've known her for so many years.
(A woman walks away from the table. The living room is filled with people, all dressed in black.)
[Scene: Manor, conservatory]
(A picture of Phoebe is standing on a table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are several white roses laying in front of the picture. Several men and women, including little ones, are standing in front of it. A woman and a man both lay a white rose on top of the other ones.)
[Scene: Manor, dining room.]
(A picture of Paige is standing on the dining table, next to an urn. On each side of the picture, there is standing a burning candle. There are laying two roses in front of the picture. A little man lays another one on top of them. The man walks away from the table and a woman walks over to Victor. She goes to stand next to him.)
Woman (Piper): Pretty good turnout, huh?
Victor: Phoebe?
Piper: No, dad, I'm Piper. That's Phoebe.
(Another woman walks over to Victor.)
Woman (Phoebe): I can't believe how many Leprechauns there are at my urn.
Piper: Well, they always had the hots for you.
Phoebe: It's kind of creepy, but I guess you can't be too picky when you're dead.
Victor: You guys are driving me crazy, you know that?
Piper: Keep it down, will ya? And look a little more bereaved. Agent Keyes is watching.
(They look at man standing in the foyer.)
Phoebe: Oh, don't worry. He'll never figure us out. How could he?
Victor: Hey, I can't still figure it out.
Piper: Well, at least we're still alive and, more importantly, free.
Victor: Yeah, but you have to keep changing looks all the time? Just pick one and stick with it, would you?
Phoebe: Why? It's fun.
Piper: Poor Paige, not a lot of people at her urn.
(Suddenly, "Janice Dickinson" walks in.)
"Janice Dickinson": Excuse me.
(She walks straight up to Paige's urn.)
Phoebe: Wow, what is Janice Dickinson doing here?
"Janice Dickinson": Oh, Paige.
Sophie: She knew Paige?
Tom: Wow, I'm impressed.
"Janice Dickinson": You were the best friend I ever had! What am I gonna do without you?
(Piper and Phoebe walk up to "Janice Dickinson".)
Piper: Can we talk to you in a minute?
Phoebe: In private?
"Janice Dickinson": Excuse me, what are you doing?
(They take her to the kitchen.)
[Scene: Manor, kitchen.]
"Janice Dickinson": What is the meaning of this? Do you have any idea who I am?
Phoebe: Yeah, as a matter of fact we do...
(She glamours into her own appearance.)
Phoebe: Paige.
"Janice Dickinson": I'm sorry, who?
(Piper glamours into her own appearance.)
Piper: Nice try, jig's up.
"Janice Dickinson": Oh, all right then, fine.
("Janice Dickinson" glamours into Paige.)
Paige: Well, somebody had to cry at my funeral, didn't they?
OPENING CREDITS
[Scene: Manor, kitchen. Continues from before.]
Piper: We were supposed to keep it low profile, what were you thinking?
Paige: I was thinking that I obviously spent too much time in the magical world because nobody even cares that I'm dead!
Phoebe: That's not true, you have mourners. I mean, there are lots of Leprechauns out there.
Paige: I mean real people!
Piper: Well, there was your friend Glen.
Phoebe: Yeah, Glen was at your urn, and Ruthie, our neighbour.
Piper: No, she was just going to get coffee.
Phoebe: Oh, really?
Paige: My point exactly.
(A man enters the kitchen.)
Phoebe: Oh, my God.
(Paige gasps and the man looks at them.)
Paige: We can explain, it's...
Piper: Don't bother.
(The man glamours into Leo.)
Phoebe: Oh, you scared me. I thought we were busted.
Leo: Well, you are gonna be if you don't change back, what are you doing?
'Piper': Apparently, having an identity crisis.
(She looks at Paige.)
Paige: Oh, so it's okay for you to change your husband into...
(She hears a hard jingle inside her head.)
Paige: Aw.
Phoebe: What's wrong?
Paige: It's a jingling in my head.
Phoebe: Does that mean the Elders know alive?
Piper: No, they can't. We cloaked ourselves from them.
Leo: It could be a new charge. You know, a connection to one's Whitelighter is automatic.
Piper: Okay, well, just ignore it.
Paige: Easy for you to say, you're not half-Whitelighter. Okay? Maybe it's one of the mourners. Could be a demon out there.
(She runs over to the kitchen door to look into the dining room.)
Phoebe: No, no, no. No demons.
(She pulls Paige back from the door. As she pulls her back, she sees a man standing at her urn.)
Paige: Why? It makes sense, doesn't it? They probably wanna find out if we're really dead.
Phoebe: It doesn't matter, we're retired, we don't do demons anymore.
Piper: She's right, you're just gonna have to forget about it.
Paige: No so easy with a jingle-jangle.
(Phoebe is looking at her urn again.)
Phoebe: What is he doing here?
Piper: He who?
Phoebe: I didn't even think he knew I existed.
(Paige looks at Phoebe's urn as well.)
Paige: Who is he?
Phoebe: I don't know, just some guy that I used to see in the elevator all the time at work.
Paige: He's kind of cute.
Phoebe: Yeah.
Piper: Okay, people, morph now, ogle later. Come on, we can't risk being caught. Choppity-chop-chop-chop.
(Phoebe and Paige go back to Piper and Leo.)
[Scene: Manor, sitting room.]
Elise Rothman: Of course, I don't know if Phoebe ever thought of me as her friend, but I always thought of her as mine.
Victor: Oh, I know for a fact she's really glad you're here, Elise.
(Elise gives him a weird look.)
Victor: When I say I know, I mean in the ethereal sense, of course. Channeling, sensing, ... .
Elise: Of course.
(She looks over to Phoebe's urn where three Leprechauns are standing.)
Elise: I never realized she knew so many little people, though.
Victor: Yes.
(Elise walks away. A man approaches Victor.)
Man (Paul Haas): You must be devestated, Mr. Bennett.
Victor: Yeah.
Paul Haas: Especially considering how it happened. Was there ever an official cause of death?
Victor: Excuse me?
Paul Haas: Oh, forgive me for prying. It's just that the news always made it sound so mysterious. And with no remains... .
Victor: I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.
Paul Haas: Haas, Paul Haas.
Victor: And you knew my daughters how?
Paul Haas: By reputation. I mean, did the police ever find your son-in-law by any chance? Leo?
Victor: No, they think he died in the accident as well.
Paul Haas: And now you have to raise those boys all by yourself.
(Victor nods.)
Victor: In this huge house.
(Paul Haas looks around. He picks his card out of his jacket.)
Paul Haas: If you find that you need to sell it though, let me know.
(He hands over the card to Victor.)
Paul Haas: I'd be glad to help.
(Victor reads the card.)
Victor: You're a real estate-agent?
Paul Haas: I specialize in the moving of problem properties. You know, where people have died. Buyers seem to be a little queasy.
(Victor gives the card back to Paul.)
Victor: Get out.
Paul Haas: Again, my condolences.
(He walks away. Victor sighs.)
[Scene: Underworld.]
(Many demons are standing in a lair. They're talking to each other when Paul Haas flames in. He takes off his jacket.)
Demon #1 (Elkin): Well? Are they dead or not?
Paul Haas: They're dead.
Several Demons: Yeah!
Elkin: So we can do what we want! Nobody can stop us.
Paul Haas: Except for other demons. Which is why we need to establish a foothold in the mortal world as soon as possible.
Elkin: First, we mess with the mortals... .
Paul Haas: First, we do as I say.
Elkin: Who says you decide? There's no order to the Underworld anymore. Now that Zankou and his generation have been decimated, it's our time to play. Which means it's every demon for himself.
Paul Haas: Until one demon rises to power, and then you'll be forced to answer to him! Is that what you want?
Elkin: What I want is to scare the living hell out of people... literally.
(Some demons laugh.)
Elkin: Each to its own gifts.
Paul Haas: Fine then, go.
(He takes a few steps back.)
Paul Haas: Me, I want out of this hole. Take over the symbolic seat of power before anybody else does.
Elkin: The Charmed Ones' home.
(Paul Haas smiles.)
Elkin: How do you plan to get it?
Paul Haas: I'm going to buy it from their father's estate, after I kill him.
(They both smile.)
[Scene: San Francisco, police department.]
(Agent Keyes and Agent Murphy are talking in an office.)
Agent Murphy: This case isn't dead. I mean, you said so yourself, right?
Agent Keyes: So?
Agent Murphy: So then why we're heading back to D.C.? Why don't we just stay in here?
(Agent Keyes walks to another office with the Halliwell files. Agent Murphy follows.)
Agent Murphy: I don't understand. You spend years trying to proof that there's something out there, some unseen power. And then you walk away from it just like that?
(Agent Keyes puts the Halliwell files in a box.)
Agent Keyes: Just like that.
(He walks back to the other office with the box. Agent Murphy follows him and sighs.)
Agent Murphy: But what about what happened to Inspector Sheridan? That thing that killed her? And what about that cop that swears he saw Leo at the scene of the crime? That's means he's still alive... .
Agent Keyes: It's over, Agent Murphy, the sisters are dead.
Agent Murphy: You don't believe that.
Agent Keyes: You're right, I don't. But I want them to think I do. If they're in hiding, they're not going to resurface with us hanging around. So, we leave. Let them get comfortable, complecant.
Agent Murphy: But then how we know if... .
Agent Keyes: Because you're going to stay behind, that's how. Keep an eye on things for me. You lay low, be patient, and give them plenty of space. If they are still alive, they'll come home. Sooner or later, everyone always does.
(Agent Keyes walks away.)
[Scene: Manor, foyer.]
(Everyone is getting out. Victor is talking to Dex, the man Phoebe always saw in the elevator at work.)
Victor: How well did you know Phoebe?
Dex: Not as well as I'd like to. But I loved to read her column.
Victor: Oh, really?
Dex: Yeah, every day. Could never get over how someone as beautiful as was could be so incredibly insightful.
(Glamoured Phoebe walks over to them.)
Phoebe: You don't say.
Victor: Excuse me, do you mind?
Phoebe: It's all right, I've got this. You were saying? About Phoebe?
Dex: Just that I thought she was great. Really great.
Phoebe: Then why didn't you ever ask her out?
Dex: What?
(Glamoured Piper walks over to them and starts pushing Dex to the front door.)
Piper: Thanks for coming, sorry you have to go.
Dex: What...?
(She pushes him out of the front door.)
Piper: Okay, bye-bye.
(She closes the front door.)
Phoebe: Piper, what are you doing?
Piper: What are you doing? You can't pick up on a guy at a funeral.
Phoebe: Why not? It's my funeral.
(They hear Wyatt in the living room and walk over to him.)
Piper: It's okay, sweetie, Mommy's right here.
(He doesn't seem to recognize her.)
Piper: Wyatt, honey, what's the matter?
(She kneels down in front of him.)
Victor: He doesn't know it's you, Piper.
(She stands up. Paige and Leo walk in. Leo kneels down next to Wyatt.)
Leo: It's okay, buddy, all right? Daddy's here, okay? We're all here.
(Piper and Phoebe drop their glamour.)
Wyatt: Mama. Aunt Phoebe.
Leo: Okay, see?
(He stands up.)
Phoebe: Poor little guy, he's confused.
Victor: He doesn't know what's going on. Neither does baby Chris. All this changing makes him nervous, I think.
Paige: Yeah, maybe we didn't exactly think this thing through.
Piper: We didn't have time to think it through.
Leo: Well, it's too late to go back now, so what do we do?
Phoebe: I think I have an idea. Follow me.
[Scene: Manor, attic.]
(The door opens and Phoebe, Paige, Piper, Leo, who's carrying Wyatt, and Victor enter the room. Phoebe walks to a trunk. She opens it and takes the Book of Shadows out.)
Phoebe: Okay, it's a good thing we kept this.
(Leo puts Wyatt down. Phoebe walks over to its stand and everyone follows her.)
Piper: Yeah, but we're not supposed to use it. The more magic we use... .
Paige: ... the more likely the demons are to find us out.
(Phoebe places the Book on its stand.)
Phoebe: We didn't say we'd never use magic again. Besides, I think we really need this spell.
Leo: Why? What will it do?
(Phoebe flips through the Book.)
Phoebe: End our confusion, hopefully. I've been thinking about it for the last couple of days, and all we need to do is each of us needs to come up with one look, one disguise, that we wanna to project to the rest of the world.
Paige: You mean like a permanent, permanent one?
Phoebe: That's the idea.
Victor: But how is that going to end the confusion? Especially for the boys?
Phoebe: Oh, because they won't see the disguises. Neither will any of us. Okay, just trust me. You guys have a look in mind?
(Leo and Paige nod.)
Piper: Yeah, you know what, nothing flashy either.
(Paige gives her a look.)
Phoebe: Ready? "I call upon the ancient powers, to mask us now and in future hours. Hide us well and thoroughly, but now from those we call family."
Victor: Well, anything happened?
Phoebe: Do we look the same?
Victor: Yeah.
Leo: Maybe it didn't work.
(They walk over to a mirror.)
Phoebe: It definitely worked.
Paige: Oh my goodness, is that me?
(They see their disguises in the mirror.)
Phoebe: Is it the you that you invisioned?
(Paige hits Piper.)
Paige: Hey, I thought you said no flash!
Piper: It was the first look that came to mind!
Leo: I like it.
Victor: How is it you can see your other selves in reflected in the mirror?
Phoebe: It's part of the spell.
Piper: You know, this just might work.
(Paige hears the jingling again.)
Paige: The jingle again. Do you think this means something bad is gonna to happen?
[Scene: Campus, dorm.]
(A chick, dressed in black, walks in the room. She opens a drawer and takes black gloves out. After she has put them on, she takes an athame out of a cabinet. She puts on her boot, and takes a black wig out of another shelf from the cabinet. She puts sunglasses on and looks in the mirror. She leaves the room.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor, attic]
(Paige, Piper and Leo are writing on little papers.)
Phoebe: Okay.
(She collects the papers.)
Paige: Hey, I'm not done!
Phoebe: It doesn't matter, you are now. It's an identity, not a novel.
(She walks over to a table with a cauldron.)
Phoebe: As long as these reflect who we're trying to be and where we've come from, we're all good. Okay, Julie, nice, Jo, Jenny, Louis?
(She pulls a weird face.)
Leo: Louis. You know, like Louis Armstrong, the Great Satchmo? The trumpeter?
Piper: Yeah, I think dad used to listen to him.
(Paige chuckles.)
Phoebe: Okay, if you can deal with it, so can the government.
(She throws the papers into a bubbling cauldron. She throws in something else and the posion bangs.)
Phoebe: Voilà, new identities.
Paige: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Only one way to find out.
(She starts walking to the door.)
Phoebe: Let's go shopping!
Piper: No.
Phoebe: Yeah!
Piper: No, wait, no!
(She follows Phoebe. Paige follows as well. They go down the stairs.)
Phoebe: Come on, we have seven years of lost time to make up for. We have to start somewhere!
Piper: Yeah, I know but... .
Phoebe: No buts, we are free. Do you have any idea what that means? It means no more demons, no more cops. We can do whatever we want!
(The sisters stop walking in the hallway.)
Piper: I know, I know, but still... .
Phoebe: (to Paige) Would you please talk some sense into this woman?
(Paige pulls a weird face.)
Paige: You know what occurred to me? That real-estate agent your dad was talking abou, if you think about it, he may be a d... .
Phoebe: Oh my God! If you say the D word, I might implode. Come on you guys, what's wrong? I mean, isn't this what we wanted?
Piper: Yes, it's just it's not as simple as I had hoped, that's all.
Phoebe: You know why? Because you haven't been out yet. And you will feel so much better in a new pair of shoes.
(Paige chuckles.)
Piper: But I don't need new shoes.
Phoebe: That's the old you talking. Come on, you guys, can't we just at least try to have fun? Don't we owe ourselves that much?
Piper: Yes, we do, ... .
Phoebe: That's the spirit! Paige? I mean, Jo. Shoes are on me.
Paige: Uhm, I think I may just stay here and relax a little.
Phoebe: Relax? I like it, relax. Come on!
(She takes Piper's arm and pulls her with her.)
[Scene: Shoppin disctrict.]
(Phoebe and Piper leave a shoe store, packed with several baggs.)
Piper: He was not hitting on me.
Phoebe: He was too. He was practically drooling on you.
Piper: Okay, first, I'm married. Secondly, he's a salesman in a woman's shoe store. What are the chances he's not gay?
Phoebe: Who cares, just enjoy. That's our new mantra, right?
(They stop and watch their disguises in a shop's window.)
Piper: Still, maybe Paige is right, I don't think this new look is me.
Phoebe: I think you look hot.
Piper: Easy, sis, don't creep me out.
Phoebe: Hey, we're not sisters anymore, remember? We're cousins.
Piper: Still creepy.
(They continue walking.)
Piper: Isn't there any part of you that doubts your decision at all?
Phoebe: No, I mean, I liked both pairs of shoes so I bought both pairs of shoes.
Piper: No, not the shoes. The pretending to be dead to the rest of the world.
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, obviously there were certain aspects of my life that I really liked, but I couldn't fully enjoy it because of all the witch stuff.
Piper: Yeah, but the witch stuff is who we are. I mean, we can't just walk around pretending we don't have powers anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah, but, Piper, nobody is saying we have to.
(They stop walking again.)
Phoebe: We just don't have to use our powers every other week to save the world, that's the only difference.
Piper: That, and the fact that the last three decades of our life are suddenly gone.
Phoebe: Well, we have to give up something to gain something. Look, you wanted a normal life more than all of us. Right? So, what's changed all of the sudden?
Piper: I'm a little neurotic, what do you want from me?
Phoebe: That's not it, what else is it?
Piper: It's just, it's a big change, and I don't do change very well. So, you know, let me freak out for a little while and then, you know, I'll be fine.
(Phoebe nods.)
Phoebe: Okay. Wanna go get our eyebrows plucked?
Piper: Gee, I'd love to, but no, I gotta go check on P3 and make sure Dad hasn't done a lot of damage.
(She hands over her bags to Phoebe.)
Piper: Besides, it's gonna be the only thing that will pay for all these shoes.
(She starts walking away and crosses a street.)
Phoebe: You worry too much, missy.
(Phoebe watches Piper walk away and sees an advertisement of 'Ask Phoebe'.)
[Scene: Manor, attic.]
(Grams is sitting on a couch, Paige is walking around talking to Grams.)
Paige: Phoebe has a life outside of magic, or at least she had one. Piper has Leo, Piper has the boys, what do I have? I have a giant sucking hole of nothingness.
Grams: Please, Paige, spare me the dramatics and cut to the chase, will you? I've got an Afterlife to live, you know.
Paige: See, even you have a life, and you're dead. I just don't know where to start.
(Paige goes sitting next to Grams.)
Grams: Well, you know, it's not like anybody asked for my opinion before abandoning the Charmed legacy in the first place.
Paige: Thanks Grams, I'm so glad you came, you've been a great help.
Grams: Look, honey, I'm sorry. But you're the one who got yourself into this mess, not me.
Paige: I didn't have a choice, okay, we didn't have a choice. We were going to die, the real way.
Grams: I understand, and I'm not judging you. Well, maybe I am a little. But, my point is that you've made choice, whether you were forced into it or not, and you've gotta live with that choice, whether you like it or not.
Paige: What if I can't?
Grams: Oh, that's ridiculous.
Paige: No, it's not. I want a life outside of magic, I really do, but... .
Grams: But what?
Paige: But it's the jingling, okay? I hear it, night and day, which means people are constantly calling for my help.
Grams: That is just the Whitelighter in you.
Paige: But that's still me, Grams, and that's still magic. So what if I can't ever really get away from it?
Grams: Well, one thing is for sure, young lady. You're never gonna find what you're looking for sitting around here. You want a fresh start? Then pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get out into the world and try it on for size. See what happens.
Paige: I don't know.
Grams: Hey, you don't want my advice? Don't conjure me next time. Now get up.
(She grabs Paige's hand and pulls her up from the couch.)
Grams: Get a grip and don't come back until you find your thrill. Now go.
(She pushes Paige's to the door and hits her backside.)
[Scene: San Francisco, coffee bar.]
(Paige is sitting there, drinking a cup of coffee. She sees her disguise in a reflection of a window.)
Paige: Great, just great.
(She stands up and bumps into a man who is carrying a cup of coffee as well.)
Man: Whoops, oh. Sorry, my fault.
Paige: Oh, no sorry, it's mine. I didn't see you.
Man: Well, I saw you, that's for sure. I mean, how could I not? A beautiful girl sitting here all by herself?
Paige: Well, rub it in.
Man: I'm sorry?
(She smiles.)
Paige: Nothing.
Man: Do you mind if I join you?
Paige: Oh, actually, I was... . Yeah sure, why not?
Man: Great. You're new around here, aren't you?
Paige: No, I'm n... . Why do you ask?
Man: Well, local place and all. Pretty much everybody here is a regular.
Paige: Ah. And you know I'm not.
Man: I definitely would have remembered seeing you before.
(Paige smiles. Suddenly, she hears a woman shouting. Paige looks around and sees a man robbing the woman's purse. He snatches it and runs off.)
Bystander: Hey! He just took her purse.
(Paige runs off and goes after the purse-snatcher.)
Man: Are you out of your mind? You'll get yourself killed!
(Paige crosses the street. Around the corner, she finds the purse laying on the ground. Paige kneels down next to the purse.)
Paige: Damn it! Why didn't I orb?
(She hears the jingle again inside her head.)
Paige: (looking up) Would you stop that already?
(She sighs.)
Paige: I give up.
[Scene: San Francisco, street.]
(The chick in black is walking there.)
[Scene: Cinema]
(The audience is watching a scary movie. The demon Elkin enters the room.)
Film Character #1: It's over here somewhere.
Film Character #2: Be quiet, be quiet.
Film Character #1: Who is that?
(Elkin goes sitting behind a man.)
Film Character #2: Get down, be quiet. Stay down, stay... .
(The man is scared. Elkin holds up his hand next to the man's head and his hand starts to glow. The man starts shaking and gasps, until he dies.
Film Character #2: We have to find the others.
(Elkin stands up. As he is walking forward, he sees Paige orbing in.)
Film Character #2: Where are the others?
Film Character #1: I don't know.
(Paige looks around and sees Elkin.)
Paige: Did you call for me?
Elkin: I don't think so. You don't have the power to stop me, Whitelighter.
Paige: Obviously, you don't know who I am. Which is probably a good thing.
(Elkin uses Hyper Speed and bumps into Paige. She smacks against the wall and falls on the ground.)
Woman in the audience: Shhh!
(Elkin is standing next to Paige, who is still laying on the ground. He creates a Fireball in his hands, when the door is slammed open. He looks behind him and sees the chick in black standing there.)
Chick in Black: Doesn't that burn your hand?
(Elkin throws the Fireball at her, but she dodges it.)
Chick in Black: Damn, I was hoping for such a better fight with my first demon. You are a demon, aren't you?
(Elkin throws another Fireball, but she telekinetically deviates it. He jumps on the ground to dodge it.)
Woman: Shhh!
(The people in the room look behind them and see what's going on. They flee.)
Chick in Black: Now help me out in here, I'm new at this. Who pays for that?
(Elkin is still on the ground and looks at her. He then shimmers out. Paige watches the chick in black leave.)
[Scene: Manor, kitchen.]
(Victor is doing the dishes. Wyatt is sitting in his high chair. Leo walks in, bringing more dirty dishes.)
Leo: (to Wyatt) Hey buddy!
(He walks over to the table and places the dirty dishes on it.)
Leo: There's still a couple of loads out there.
Victor: You're kidding me. Why don't we get the girls to do a little hocus-pocus, huh?
Leo: No. No more magic. Not unless it's absolutely necesarry. They gotta get out of the habit of relying on it. Or else they'll never gonna have normal lives.
Victor: Yeah right, like that's ever gonna to happen.
Leo: What? You don't think it will?
Victor: Well, do you? Louis? Come on, who you're trying to kid here? Whether I like it or not, and you know I don't, being magical is part of who they are. It's part of who you all are. You may have been able to change your identities but you didn't change that.
Leo: Well, we'll just do the best we can then.
Victor: Yeah, but what if that's not good enough? I mean, I don't mean to sound pessimistic here, because I really want this to work out, but it's not gonna be easy. Especially for you and Piper.
Leo: Why especially for us?
Victor: Because you got the boys to raise like this, and you... . Where's the baby monitor?
Leo: I just checked on Chris, he's sleeping. Go on.
(Victor smiles.)
Victor: Oh, don't listen to me. I'm worried and grumpy. You think I'd know better by now. I've been worried since I first found out the kids were gonna be witches, you know?
Leo: You know, maybe you should go home for a while, Victor. You know, get away from all of this. You've been around here for about a week or so now.
(Victor sighs.)
Victor: Yeah, I will. As soon as things settle down here. Listen, why don't you wash, I'll go get the last load, huh?
(He walks to the door.)
Victor: (to Wyatt) Hey.
[Scene: Manor, conservatory.]
(Victor is walking in when an Elder, Jonnah, orbs in.)
Victor: Wow.
Jonnah: I mean you no harm, Victor. My name is Jonnah. I'm an Elder. I just need to talk to you, all right?
Victor: All right.
Jonnah: Good. Now, I know what you've gone through. What you still must be going through. Children should bury their father, not the other way around.
Victor: Go on.
Jonnah: We've been talking... .
Victor: We?
Jonnah: The other Elders and myself, about the boys, Wyatt and Chris. Losing their parents, their aunts, it's unspeakable. Especially considering who they were. Which is why we feel very strongly that it'd be in the boys' best interest... .
Victor: You're not taking them. Forget it.
Jonnah: Victor, you're mortal. You can't possibly raise them to be...
Victor: I'm their grandfather, that's all I need to be.
(Leo enters the dining room from the kitchen. As he sees Jonnah, he hides and watches him talking with Victor.)
Jonnah: I don't think you quite realize the extent to which our future, all our future, depends upon their upbringing.
Victor: I got a pretty good idea.
Jonnah: Then you know they'll continue to be targets of evil. Demons who will stop at nothing to turn them to their side, or worse, destroy them, and how will you protect them?
Victor: I'll find a way.
Jonnah: They should come with me now for their sakes.
Victor: Over my dead body.
(They look at each other.)
Jonnah: I prey you know what you're doing.
(He orbs out. After Jonnah is gone, Leo walks over to Victor.)
Leo: You still sure you don't wanna go home?
Victor: Yeah, thinking about it.
(They hear the front door opening and see Paige enter. She lays her keys on the table in the foyer. Paige starts walking to the stairs, but Leo and Victor approach her.)
Victor: Hey, where you been?
Paige: Oh, you know, just kinda out and about.
(She smiles and starts to climb the stairs. Leo sees the wound on her shoulder.)
Leo: Hey, wow. You're bleeding. How did that happen?
(Paige takes a deep breath.)
[Scene: Underworld.]
Paul Haas: Yeah, how did that happen?
(Paul walks over to Elkin, who is standing against a stone column.)
Paul Haas: How is it that the great Elkin got his ass kicked by one lousy witch?
Elkin: I didn't get my ass kicked. Could've easily killed her if I wasn't worried about exposure.
Paul Haas: She wasn't.
Elkin: Which is why I'm not even sure she was a witch.
Paul Haas: Well, what could she have been? An usher?
(Elkin places his hand around Paul Haas' neck. As Paul watches him, Elkin releases Paul's neck.)
Elkin: Whoever she was, she tracked me there somehow. Which means we'll cross paths again. And next time, I'll be waiting.
Paul Haas: I don't like it. Not with that Whitelighter there too. There's more to this.
Elkin: I can handle them both. It's not like we have to worry about the Charmed Ones coming to the rescue anymore.
Paul Haas: Still, we should consolidate our powers regardless of the threat. We'll kill the father at nightfall, while the powerful progeny sleeps.
(Elkin smiles.)
[Scene: P3.]
(Piper is there, working on a laptop.)
Piper: One week, one lousy week. Are you kidding me? Barry Manilow? Dad, you booked Barry Manilow? What were you thinking?
(A door shuts and a man, Dominic, is coming down the stairs.)
Dominic: Hello?
Piper: Dominic, thank God, you're here. Are these all the receipts for the last seven months? Has everything been entered?
Dominic: I'm sorry, who are you?
(Piper looks startled.)
Piper: I'm Julie. I mean, Jenny Bennett. I'm Victor's cousin.
(She pulls a weird face.)
Piper: Pff. Niece, I'm Victor's niece.
Dominic: Okay, so what are you doing with our computer? And how did you get the password?
Piper: Uhm, uncle Victor gave it to me. Excuse me.
(She ducks under the bar.)
Piper: Ugh.
(She stands up again and holds her shoe. She points him at Dominic.)
Piper: New shoes, they look a lot nicer than they feel.
Dominic: So you work here now?
Piper: No, I'm just helping out a little, you know, because Victor asked me to help out.
Dominic: You wouldn't mind if I call him to verify that, would you?
Piper: No, not at all. Please, knock your socks off.
(Dominic walks out. Piper's cell phone rings. Piper)
Piper: Hello? What? Wait, wait, what? Leo, we're not supposed to have family emergences anymore, we're done with that. All right, fine, I'm coming, but you need to get down here to save our financial butts.
[Scene: The Bay Mirror.]
(Phoebe walks in and sees some of her colleagues standing at a shelf with a picture of her, surrounded by candles, flowers, cards and a teddy bear. Phoebe walks over to them.)
Sophie: I still can't believe she's really gone. She was always so sweet to me.
Tom: She always had a smile for everyone.
Gregg: She was always there, whenever you needed her.
Tom: She helped me through my divorce.
Elise: She doubled our readership.
(Sophie and Gregg comfort Elise. Phoebe picks a handkerchief out of her purse and hands it over to Elise. Tom gets back to work.)
Phoebe: Here you go.
Elise: Thanks. Who are you?
Phoebe: I'm Julie Bennett, Phoebe's cousin from her father's side.
Elise: Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry for your loss.
Phoebe: I know you are. I just came by to pick up some of her thing, so, don't mind me.
Sophie: Were you close to Phoebe?
Phoebe: Yes, yes, I was.
Sophie: She was amazing, wasn't she?
Gregg: A doll.
Elise: The best friend I could ever ask for.
Phoebe: That is so sweet!
Elise: Oh, I mean it, she was the best. I'm gonna miss her like crazy.
Phoebe: See, now you're gonna go and make me cry.
Elise: It's the truth. She was more than just the heart and soul of this paper. She was the daughter I never had.
(She almost starts crying and Phoebe hugs her.)
Phoebe: Oh, Elise, I had no idea!
(Elise pulls a weird face. Phoebe stops the hug.)
Phoebe: I mean, Phoebe had no idea. I mean, she never told me how close you both were. But then again, you know, why would she tell me, because, you know, then... , obviously she didn't know this was gonna happen. Carry on.
(She walks out. Elise, Sophie and Gregg watch her leave.)
[Scene: Bay Mirror, hallway.]
(Phoebe is pushing the elevator button multple times.)
Phoebe: Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.
(The lift opens and two people get out of it. Phoebe sees Dex standing in the back. He's alone in the elevator and he watches her.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi.
(She enters the elevator and goes standing next to him.)
Dex: Hi.
Phoebe: Oh, that's right, you don't know who I am.
(She pushes a button. The lift doors close.)
Phoebe: I'm Julie, Phoebe's cousin. I sort of saw you at the wake.
Dex: Oh, yeah. I'm so sorry.
(She nods.)
Phoebe: Thanks. And you're ...?
Dex: Dex. Dex Lawson.
Phoebe: Dex Lawson. Nice to meet you, Dex.
(They shake hands.)
Dex: You too.
(As she touches him, she receives a Premonition of them kissing on the front porch of the Manor. Phoebe is dressed in a wedding dress. The vision is surrounded in a yellow glow. He then carries her over the doorstep. The vision stops and she looks at him. She makes a weird noise.)
Dex: Everything all right?
(She nods but looks a bit shocked.)
Phoebe: Yeah, it's just... hot in here.
(The lift stops and pings.)
Phoebe: Ding!
(She leaves the elevator and walks to right.)
Dex: Nice meeting you!
(She suddenly stops and walks to the other side.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor, attic.]
(Paige is sitting at the table and scring. Piper and Phoebe walk in.)
Piper: Are you out of your mind?
Phoebe: Leo told us you fought a demon.
Paige: I can explain.
(Piper gets the Scrying Crystal out of Paige's hand.)
Piper: What is this? What are you doing?
Paige: I am trying to find a girl.
Phoebe: Okay, look, we have been through this, okay? If anyone finds out we're alive, we're screwed.
Piper: Do you have a dead wish? Is that the problem?
(Paige stands up.)
Paige: Okay, would you two please just be quiet for a minute and let me explain? Thank you!
(Piper and Phoebe sigh.)
Paige: First of all, I did not intentionally engage a demon.
Phoebe: Oh, don't say engage. Don't ask.
(Piper looks at her, but Phoebe waves her hand.)
Paige: Look, I just had the ringing in my head and I just figured that if I answered, that maybe, you know... .
Piper: You're not supposed to respond to anything anymore.
Paige: Look, it's very hard not to respond to a call for help.
Phoebe: Paige, you have to! Okay, we've had this conversation.
Paige: Yeah, I know we have, but it's not that easy.
Piper: Okay, everybody, just calm down a second. Did you at least vanquish the demon?
(Paige shakes her head.)
Paige: No.
(She goes sitting on her chair again.)
Paige: But on the bright side, he did not know who I was.
Phoebe: Well, that's good at least.
Piper: So, what happened to the demon?
Paige: I don't know. This chick came along and scared him off.
Piper and Phoebe: What chick?
[Scene: Manor, living room.]
(Victor turns off the lights and is carrying Wyatt in his arms. He is singing for Wyatt.)
Victor: Itsy, bitsy, spider, climbing up the spout, down came the rain.
(Paul Haas flames in, and his minions shimmer in.)
Paul Haas: We'll wait for him to come back downstairs alone.
[Scene: Manor, attic.]
Paige: I don't know who she was, she showed up right after I got there.
Piper: Do you think she was a witch?
(Piper starts walking around.)
Paige: I don't know, maybe.
Phoebe: Maybe she was the one that called you.
Paige: No, this girl definitely did not need my help.
Phoebe: Could have been a bad witch.
Piper: And if that's true, and she figures out who we are... .
Paige: I'm telling you, she was after the demon, she was not interested in me.
Piper: Still, she could have ID'd you and that would have been very bad.
Grams: Oh, for crying out loud, give her a break, will you?
(Piper and Phoebe look behind them. Grams is standing there.)
Phoebe: Grams, what are you doing here?
Grams: I'm trying to keep you from ganging up on her, that's what.
Piper: Well, you're sort of death, so this doesn't really concern you.
Grams: It does when my legacy is at stake.
Phoebe: Oh, please, I think we've paid our dues.
Grams: And I'm not saying that you haven't. You have every right to live normal, unencumbered lives. But just because you want to, doesn't mean you can.
Piper: You're a little late with that speech.
Grams: Well, perhaps for the two of you, but not for Paige.
(Piper and Phoebe look at Paige.)
Grams: Whether or not you succeed, remains to be seen, but you cannot deny she is being called by somebody. (to Paige) And you can't deny it either.
(Paige hears the jingling again.)
Paige: You're right, I can't deny it, especially not right now.
[Scene: Manor, sitting room.]
(Victor is coming down the stairs.)
Paul Haas: Hello, Victor.
(Victor looks up to them.)
Paul Haas: Now, are you sure you don't wanna sell?
(Paul smiles as the front door is slammed open. Victor and Paul look at it. The chick in black enters the Manor.)
Elkin: Who are you?
[Scene: Manor, attic]
(The sisters and Grams hear noises coming from downstairs.)
Phoebe: That doesn't sound good!
Piper: No, it doesn't!
Paige: (to Grams) Thank you for coming!
(The sisters run down.)
Grams: Oh, the good old days!
[Scene: Manor, sitting room.]
(As the sisters run down the stairs, Victor runs up.)
Victor: Hey, thank her for me, will you?
Piper: What? Who?
(Suddenly, a screaming demon is thrown against a wall and bursts into flames.)
Phoebe: Where did he come from?
(The girls look down and see the chick dodging Elkin's Fireball. She jumps over to him and stabs him with her athame, vanquishing him. The sisters see Paul getting up in the conservatory, ready to throw a Fireball at the chick in black.)
Paige: Behind you!
(Paul looks the stairs and the sisters duck. The chick in black turns around and throws her athame, but Paul Haas flames out. The athame hits a window frame in the conservatory. The chick stretches her arm out and the athame flies back into her hands. She puts it back on her boot and sees the sisters are watching her.)
Chick: Thanks!
(She does a cart-wheel over the couch and leaves the Manor.)
Piper: Showoff.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor, living room.]
(Paige is standing at the fireplace. Phoebe and Piper are sitting in a couch.
Paige: Well, she can't be all bad, she said "thank you".
Piper: We don't know what she is, she didn't stick around long enough for us to ask.
Phoebe: You gotta admit, that was nice flip though.
Piper: And a nice attitude. She didn't even care that we saw her use her powers. What was that?
Paige: Well, I think that because she was tracking the first demon, I mean, he was the same one she was after before.
(Paige goes sitting in a couch.)
Phoebe: I also think she may be your new charge.
Paige: Huh?
Phoebe: It's the second time she showed up right after you got a call.
Piper: Which means she probably knows who we are and she could expose us.
Paige: She was after the demons, not us.
Phoebe: And the demons were going after dad, and he should be our main concern right now, not this supergirl.
Paige: Well, the question is why were they after him in the first place?
Phoebe: Who knows? I mean, maybe to get to the boys or the house, as some kind of thropy. The point is we're gonna have to go after the demon.
Paige: Even if it risks exposing us.
Phoebe: We may have already been exposed.
(Piper stands up and starts walking around.)
Piper: No, I don't think so. We were disguised to him and besides, we didn't use our powers. The problem is we can't just vanquish the one demon. We're gonna have to make some sort of a statement. Otherwise what's to keep the entire Underworld from coming after Dad again and again?
Paige: Well, here's our conundrum, people. How do we make a statement without letting them know it's us?
(Phoebe looks at Piper. She sighs.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: San Francisco, Victor's apartment.]
("Victor" enters his apartment and puts on the light. He closes the door and lays his key on a coffee table.)
Paul Haas: I know you'd come home sooner our later.
("Victor" turns around and sees Paul Haas standing there. Two other demons shimmer in.)
"Victor": You again?
Paul Haas: Yup, me again. And this time, I know you're alone. Just out of curiousity, Victor, who were all those women at the house? If you tell me, I promise to make your death relatively painless.
"Victor": Gee, thanks.
Paul Haas: Believe me, considering all the pain your daughters have caused over the years, that would be a gift. The women, who were they?
"Victor": I don't know who the other one was, the others are cousins, moving in.
Paul Haas: No, they're not. I am.
(Suddenly, "Wyatt" orbs in. The demons laugh.)
Paul Haas: You've got to be kidding, right? You think that he can stop us all?
"Victor": Try him.
(Paul Haas watches "Wyat". "Wyatt" stretches his arm and blasts Paul against a wall. The demons create Energy Balls. One of them throws one, and "Wyatt" blasts it in the direction of the other demon. He is vanquished. Paul Haas throws another Energy Ball, and "Wyatt" freezes it in mid-air. He blasts the other demon right into it, causing the demon to be vanquished. Paul Haas gets up.)
"Victor": Spread the word: leave us alone, or he'll kill you all.
(Paul looks at "Wyatt" and flames out. "Wyatt" looks at "Victor" and they smile to each other.)
[Scene: Underworld.]
(Several demons are in a lair. Paul Haas flames in.)
Demon: Where are the others?
Paul Haas: Vanquished. It was a set-up.
(Haas growls.)
Paul Haas: It was planned. And not by the boy, he's not old enough. It could be that the Charmed Ones are still alive.
(The crowd of demons starts whispering.)
[Scene: San Francisco, Victor's apartment.]
(Paige enters the apartment.)
Paige: Well, how'd it go?
("Victor" glamours into Phoebe and "Wyatt" glamours into Piper.)
Phoebe: What do you think?
Piper: I think it worked. I don't think he would've left unless he got the message.
Phoebe: Question is, will he deliver?
Paige: And will it stick?
Piper: I think so. The whole Underworld is afraid of Wyatt. Appearantly, my little guy's reputation proceeds itself.
(She goes sitting on the couch.)
Phoebe: So that's it? We can get back to our lives now?
Paige: Whatever those are.
Phoebe: Well, one of them has wedding bells in them.
Paige: Huh?
Phoebe: Later.
Paige: Okay.
Piper: Well, just as long as we're still demon free, that's all that matters.
Phoebe: Oh, lookie, lookie, who's finally come around.
(She goes sitting next to Piper.)
Piper: I told you I just needed a little time and, you know, a very big reminder of what our lives used to constantly be like.
Phoebe: Right.
Paige: We still have the little witch to contend with.
(Piper and Phoebe look at each other.)
Piper: Oh, no, we don't.
(She gets up and walks over to Paige.)
Piper: We don't. Uhm, you do. She's your charge.
(Phoebe walks over to them.)
Paige: No.
Piper: Yeah.
(Piper opens the door and leaves the apartment.)
Phoebe: Maybe you won't hear from her again.
(Paige sighs and follows Phoebe, who's leaving the apartment as well.)
Paige: I have a feeling she'll be sticking around for a while.
[Scene: Campus, dorm.]
(The chick in black isn't dressed in black anymore and puts her gloves back into a drawer and her black wig back into her cabinet. On another shelf of the cabinet, she hides the athame in a towel. She lays her sunglasses in another shelf. She watches herself in the mirror. Someone knocks at the door.)
Girl: Billie, where are you? We're late for class.
Chick in Black (Billie): Yeah, just a minute.
(She grabs her backpack and leaves her dorm.)
|
Plan: A: the outside world; Q: Who presumed the sisters dead? A: a spell; Q: What do the sisters cast? A: their appearance; Q: What did the sisters alter? A: a magic-free life; Q: What do Phoebe and Piper begin to adapt to? A: Paige; Q: Who has trouble locating her charge? A: Whitelighter; Q: What is Paige's other half? A: the Halliwells; Q: Who do some people not believe to be dead? A: Billie; Q: Who is the young witch that Paige finds? A: a solo vigilante career; Q: What career does Billie embark on? A: her head; Q: What does Paige get in over? A: her needs; Q: What does Paige hope her career as a police recruit will fulfill? A: training; Q: What does Paige have to leave to rescue Billie? Summary: The final season premieres after being presumed dead by the outside world, the sisters cast a spell so that their appearance is altered to the outside world, but not to those closest to them. Though Phoebe and Piper begin to adapt to a magic-free life, Paige cannot escape her Whitelighter half, which continues to tell her that there is a new charge in the world that needs her. There are also those who do not believe the Halliwells to be dead, and seek to prove it. Paige has trouble locating her charge, and when she finally catches up with the young witch, she finds that Billie has embarked on a solo vigilante career to do good and combat demons, but soon finds she has gotten in over her head. Paige takes up a career as a police recruit, hoping fighting evil that way will fulfil her needs, but has to leave training to rescue Billie.
|
[School Gym]
(Annual Boy Toy Auction)
WHITEY: Come on, let's get those bids up, it's the Annual Boy Toy Auction. Alright I've got $25, do I hear $40? Oh come on people, this is for charity. $40?
GIRL1: $40
WHITEY: $40. Coming up right there. Anybody got $50? How about $50? $50?
GIRL2: $50
WHITEY: $50. And remember for the next five hours, till midnight tonight, these boys are at your call. How about $55?
GIRL3: $55.
WHITEY: $55. Going once. Going twice. Sold for $55. Pay your money and get your boy.
[At the "Pick up" table; Brooke is standing with the boy she bid on]
BROOKE: Look, I have credit cards, okay? Gold? Platinum, for crap sake.
WOMAN: I'm sorry. Auction rules say cash only. Okay?
BROOKE: Here's the thing. I'm kind of coming out of a dark place right now and I could really use the distraction. I need this boy and I need him tonight.
WOMAN: I understand. But by rule, I have to give him to the next highest bidder if she has the money to give. (A girl sticks money in their faces and the woman takes it. Brooke grabs the boys name tag that is being handed over to the girl)
BROOKE: Oh no. No, no.
WOMAN: Brooke.
BROOKE: Uh uh.
WOMAN: Brooke.
BROOKE: No
WOMAN: Brooke. (She slaps her hand and Brooke lets go of the name tag. She gives it to the girl) Thank you.
GIRL: Thank you. (She and the boy leave)
BROOKE: Okay that did not just happen because I had an entire evening planed, so what am I supposed to do now?
WOMAN: Well, there are four boys still up for auction, and a cash machine right down the street.
BROOKE: Okay. (she leaves)
[At the Auction]
(Haley meets up with Peyton and all the cheerleaders)
PEYTON: Hey.
HALEY: See anything you like?
PEYTON: I'm seeing everything I like.
HALEY: Really?
PEYTON: But I think I'm going to bid on Jake.
HALEY: You guys are really hitting it off, huh?
PEYTON: Just friends, really. What about you? Ready to fight off these rabid skanks for Nathan?
HALEY: Actually, I think I'm going to bid on Lucas.
PEYTON: Really?
HALEY: Yeah, I haven't gotten a chance to spend time with him much lately and I get Nathan for free. (Peyton laughs and nudges her)
WHITEY: Alright folks, here we go.
HALEY: Who is up next? (They look at the program) Oh no.
ALL THE GIRLS: Tim. (Tim comes on stage dancing and taking off his jacket. He swirls it around his head then shakes his butt in front of the girls. Peyton and Haley cover their eyes. Deb and a woman are laughing)
WHITEY: Do I hear $30? (Tim does some really bad dance moves and the girls are laughing at him) How about $20?
WOMAN: That boys going to pull something.
WHITEY: Can I get a ten spot?
DEB: I suppose I have some chores around the house. $8?
WHITEY: Sold! (Tim smiles at her and Peyton and Haley laugh)
HALEY: Oh Jake's up next. How much money do you have?
PEYTON: $87.53
HALEY: Okay. (Jake comes out in the Ravens mascot outfit with his jersey over it. Everyone cheers and laughs. He takes off the head and gives it to Whitey.)
PEYTON: $20.
WHITEY: I have a bid for $20. Do I hear $30?
VOICE: $30. (Jake starts taking off parts of the costume)
HALEY: Take it off!
WHITEY: $40?
VOICE: $40.
WHITEY: $40. Right over there.
PEYTON: $50.
WHITEY: $50. Going, going.
VOICE: $75.
WHITEY: $75.
HALEY: Bet it all.
PEYTON: $87.53
WHITEY: Going once.
VOICE: $100. (The girls look around for the girl)
WHITEY: $100.Going once.
HALEY: Who's bidding on Jake?
WHITEY: Going twice. Sold! For $100 American. The highest man of the night, Good job Jaglieski.
[Back Stage]
LUCAS: You dirty bird. Who bought you?
JAKE: I don't know. But whoever it is it will be fun. It's for charity, right?
LUCAS: Yeah man.
JAKE: Go get 'em.
WHITEY: Okay let's have our next boy.
LUCAS: Well, here goes. (He steps out on stage looking nervous)
HALEY: Yeah! I got you.
WHITEY: Alright, let's start the bid at $20.
GIRL: $25.
GIRL2: $35.
GIRL3: $50.
GIRL: $75.
GIRL2: $100.
GIRL3: I'll go $101.
HALEY: $105. $110. Oh what the hell. $115.
WHITEY: Sold!
HALEY: Café savings. No way he's worth it though. (Peyton laughs and Lucas leaves the stage)
WHITEY: Alright, we're down to our last boy toy, so loosen up those purse strings, pucker up those lips and remember, this is for a good cause. (Nathan comes on stage wearing sunglasses and everyone cheers) You're on, Nathan. (He tosses his glasses to Mouth who is the DJ and walks downstage. He pulls off his pants and Haley looks surprised) Okay, do I have a first bid?
GIRL: $80.
PEYTON: Wow. (Nathan takes off his shirt and his chest says "BOYTOY")
GIRL2: $85.
PEYTON: It smells like s*x in here.
GIRL3: $90.
HALEY: $91.
PEYTON: That's a creepy threesome.
WHITEY: Do I hear $92?
GIRL: $92.
HALEY: How much money do you have?
PEYTON: Well with the five you gave me, $92.53.
HALEY: Okay bid it.
PEYTON: What?
HALEY: You have to bid it, I want you to buy Nathan.
PEYTON: Why?
HALEY: To keep him away from them.
WHITEY: Going twice.
HALEY: Please, Peyton, please.
PEYTON: $92.53
GIRL: $109 and 40. (Haley looks angry and searches through her purse)
WHITEY: Going once.
HALEY: Where's that emergency 20. Come on. Where are you?
WHITEY: Going twice.
HALEY: Ah. (She pulls out her money and gives it to Peyton)
PEYTON: Oh! $112.53.
HALEY: Ha!
WHITEY: Sold!
HALEY: Yes! (she hugs Peyton) Thank you. (Brooke comes running in with money)
BROOKE: Wait, wait.
WHITEY: I'm sorry we're fresh out of flesh. I want to thank you all for coming this evening supporting this good cause. Now all these young men belong to the highest bidders till that midnight kiss. Let's try to keep things legal this year. (Mouth climbs on stage to collect all the microphones)
GIRL: I'll give $5 for the microphone boy.
GIRL2: I'll go 10.
WHITEY: Do I hear 20?
GIRL3: I will.
GIRL2: $25.
BROOKE: Oh no, I've got $200.
WHITEY: Sold! (He laughs and pats Mouth on the cheek) All sales are final.
[Karen's Café]
(Karen is cleaning and Larry comes in)
LARRY: I didn't see you in detention.
KAREN: Can I get you something to eat?
LARRY: Actually I was wondering if I could get you something to eat. Unless you've got plans after work.
KAREN: No.
LARRY: Great. We could go to my place. (Karen doesn't answer) Karen. I'm not a serial killer. It's just a couple of new friends eating food.
KAREN: Sure. Okay.
LARRY: Good, then it's a date.
[Auction]
(Brooke is walking around with Mouth talking out loud to whoever they pass)
BROOKE: Okay, I've got $50 cash on the Mouth-Boy for trade. Who wants him? (Mouth looks at her confused)
(They pass and Deb is left standing in front of Tim)
DEB: Well, Timmy. Looks like you're all mine tonight. How about you grab a change of clothes and I'll meet you at the house.
TIM: Change of clothes?
DEB: Well you'll probably want to take a shower after I get through with you. I plan on getting dirty. So I'll leave the door unlocked. Just come in and get me. (He watches her leave. Jake is walking around looking for the girl who won him. Nikki comes up behind him)
NIKKI: Well, well, Jake. Once again, looks like I own you. (Jake starts walking outside and she's following) Come on, Jake, wait up.
JAKE: I'm not kidding, Nikki. I'm not falling for your crap.
NIKKI: At least talk to me? (He stops and faces her)
JAKE: About what? Where you've been for the last 8 months or how my daughter doesn't have a mother?
NIKKI: I understand you're upset, but there are things you don't know. Please. Jake, come on. I don't want to mess with your head. But, the least you could do is hear me out. After that you can ditch me if you want.
JAKE: What, like you did me?
[Outside]
(Mouth is standing through the sunroof of a limo talking to Brooke who is by the car)
MOUTH: This things is awesome. Where are we going first?
BROOKE: Here's the thing, Lips.
MOUTH: Mouth.
BROOKE: I know. And I know I owe you for the whole cheerleading competition, but I had this whole night kind of perfectly planned out and it's a waste of a Brazilian wax. (He looks upset)
MOUTH: Okay. That's cool. I can take off. (He climbs out of the car) At least let me give you some of your money back.
BROOKE: Oh, no, no, no. I don't want that. Please.
MOUTH: No, no I understand. I just thought the car was cool. Um, I'll see you later. (He starts to walk away)
BROOKE: Wait. Fine! I'll take you to once place.
MOUTH: Really?
BROOKE: What the hell. It's for charity, right? With the night I have planned I might need you to carry me home anyway.
MOUTH: Sweet. (He gets back in the car and Brooke gives the limo driver a look)
[Outside]
(Haley walks up to Peyton)
HALEY: I am so excited to have Lucas all to myself for an evening. We have not had a night to just hang out in forever. (Nathan walks up to them)
PEYTON: Yeah, same goes for me and Nathan.
NATHAN: I know you're still into me, but $112? (Haley laughs and hits him with the papers) Hey you.
HALEY: Hey.
NATHAN: How about you come see me around midnight?
HALEY: Sounds good. (They kiss) Don't have fun.
NATHAN: I wont. (Peyton jokingly looks hurt) Alright, come on. Let's get this over with. (He walks away)
PEYTON: Funny. That's what he'd say before we used to have s*x. (Haley fake laughs and Peyton walks away and jumps on Nathan's back. Haley watches them looking a little hurt)
[Nathan's Apartment]
(They come in and everything is covered with plastic and there is hardly any furniture. Peyton looks around)
PEYTON: So you're planning to kill me?
NATHAN: The painters must have left it. So what do you think of the new place?
PEYTON: You really moved out, huh?
NATHAN: Yeah. Judge declared me emancipated.
PEYTON: Good for you, Nate.
NATHAN: Come on. Check it out. (They walk into the back bedroom)
PEYTON: So what, you got your big cool apartment but you don't believe in furniture? Where are we supposed to eat?
NATHAN: We got the bed. (He sits down and pulls out food from the bag)
[Checkers Restaurant]
(Jake and Nikki are outside eating)
JAKE: Still doing that whole desert before the meal thing, huh?
NIKKI: You used to think it was cute. (She tries to feed him something but he doesn't take it)
JAKE: Yeah. That was before you abandoned my child.
NIKKI: Okay. I guess we'll do this now. I made a mistake. I didn't know what kind of mother I'd be. All my friends were going off to college, my parents...well you know they felt. I just wasn't ready, Jake. Is it that hard to understand?
JAKE: Yeah, Nikki, it is. She was a part of you. You held her in your arms. I spent every night asking myself how you could just leave her behind.
NIKKI: I couldn't. I hated myself for leaving, that's why I came back. I want to be in her life, Jake. And yours too. I missed you, you know? I wanted to call you a thousand times over the last 8 months.
JAKE: Yeah but you didn't. Did you?
[Sawyer House]
(Larry and Karen are having dinner)
KAREN: Well, that was a great dinner, Larry.
LARRY: Thanks. Single parent cooking class. I'm glad you decided to come. Not too painful?
KAREN: No, not at all.
LARRY: But you don't date much?
KAREN: I don't date at all, really. At night I work or I'm at home with Lucas. Sometimes with Keith.
LARRY: Keith seems like a good man.
KAREN: He is. (clears throat) He's a good friend. Well...(She starts to clean up)
LARRY: Oh no. Absolutely not. You're off duty and not allowed to touch anything but your wine glass. Tour the house, make a long distance phone call, whatever, it's called relaxing. (He gets up and takes the dishes away)
KAREN: Well you know I do have some friends in Florence. Maybe I should give them a call.
LARRY: Uh oh.
[On the Roof]
LUCAS: Haley, now this was a great idea.
HALEY: I know.
LUCAS: Did you fill any with milk like we used to?
HALEY: Yeah I did. Some of them. I can't do this stuff with Nathan. It just seems, I don't know, does it seem childish?
LUCAS: Well, yeah.
HALEY: Great!
LUCAS: But in a good way.
HALEY: So, what's your situation now?
LUCAS: What do you mean?
HALEY: With Peyton? Or Brooke. Or bar-slut that I heard about.
LUCAS: Okay. What'd you hear and who'd you hear it from?
HALEY: Just stuff...from people.
LUCAS: I just want to play ball again. You know? Get over this damn drama. You know it wasn't long ago I was happy playing hoops with the guys and hanging out with you.
HALEY: Yes, life was much simpler then, wasn't it? I think I'm going to go call Nathan. (She starts to walk away and Lucas throws a water balloon at her) Ohhh. You are so dead.
LUCAS: I guess that one was a milk balloon. (Haley grabs one and throws it back at him)
[A Club]
(Mouth and Brooke are sitting at a table with a girl dancing above them)
BROOKE: I think she likes you. (Mouth laughs)
MOUTH: So thanks for bringing me out tonight. I've never been to a real club before.
BROOKE: I'm glad I brought you.
MOUTH: Yeah?
BROOKE: Yeah. I enjoy corrupting America's youth. It's kind of one of my hobbies.
MOUTH: So was Lucas one of your test subjects?
BROOKE: Can we not go there tonight?
MOUTH: Okay. Sorry. That girls practically naked up there.
BROOKE: So you don't like naked girls?
MOUTH: Well I've never actually seen one up close. But from what I've found online I'm thinking they're okay. (Brooke grins at him) What?
BROOKE: Want to find out for sure? (She gets up and takes his hand) Let's do some damage.
[Sawyer's House]
(Karen is flipping through Peyton's sketches)
LARRY: Kind of severe, huh? (She sees the one of her, Brooke and Lucas shooting the #3 heart.)
KAREN: Kind of familiar actually. You know when I was a cheerleader we buried a time capsule midfield of the football stadium. I bet if you dug it up you'd find a version of the same thing our kinds are going through now.
LARRY: Well, I got a couple of shovels in the garage. Want to find out?
KAREN: Yeah.
[Pool]
PEYTON: Sweet. You got a pool?
NATHAN: Yeah. You want to go swimming?
PEYTON: No, you are the boy toy you do what I say tonight.
NATHAN: Oh just like old times.
PEYTON: Please. You did whatever you wanted and most of the time it was either sucky or mean.
NATHAN: I know. But you let me.
PEYTON: Well maybe I kept thinking you'd change. Live and learn, right? Is this thing heated?
NATHAN: I don't know, why don't you check it out? (She bends down to touch the water and he grabs her and they fall in. Nathan is laughing)
PEYTON: Oh my god!
NATHAN: I slipped.
PEYTON: What?!
NATHAN: I slipped. Hey, at least it's heated. (Peyton pushes him under)
[Rooftop]
(Haley and Lucas are throwing water balloons at each other.)
[Pool]
(Nathan and Peyton are still splashing each other in the pool)
[Club]
(Brooke and Mouth are lying on a bed in a back room with two strippers dancing on top of them)
BROOKE: Real thing sure beats the internet, huh?
MOUTH: The internet sucks. (Brooke laughs)
[Skipping back and forth between Peyton and Nathan having a good time in the pool and Lucas and Haley on the roof with water balloons, showing the two couples on their dates]
[Deb's House]
(Tim slowly opens the front door)
TIM: Hello? Deb? Miss Deborah?
DEB: Come on in, Timmy, I'm in the bath. (He smiles and puts his bag down. He gets to the bathroom)
TIM: Ready or not, here I come. (Deb is sitting by the bathtub cleaning the hair out of the drain. Tim comes in wearing zebra stripped underwear. They start screaming as they see each other.) Sorry!
DEB: Timmy! (Tim is running around gathering his clothes) I am so sorry. I don't know what gave you the impression that-
TIM: It's okay. I'm fine. (He is trying to put his pants on and falls. Deb comes over to help him)
DEB: It's just that you startled me and -
TIM: Where's my shirt? (Deb bends down to pick it up. Dan walks in and sees Deb on her knees in front of Tim who has his pants half way down. Dan laughs)
DAN: The lawyers are gonna love this one. (He walks out)
[Rooftop]
(Haley is hiding behind a tree)
HALEY: Luke? I'm all out of balloons. Can we please call a truce?
LUCAS: Is it a real truce or a trick truce?
HALEY: It's a real truce, I promise.
LUCAS: Okay.
HALEY: Okay. (She comes out from behind the tree) Or not! (She pulls out one last balloon but Lucas throws his at her first. He grabs her) No Luke, you're going to hurt your shoulder. (She drops her balloon and it breaks) Oh you are so lucky. (Lucas notices something on her back) What?
LUCAS: What's on your back?
HALEY: Nothing.
LUACS: Haley, is that a tattoo?
HALEY: No. It's nothing.
LUCAS: Haley. (He turns her around and there is a small 23 tattooed on her lower back) 23. That's great, Hales. You see, that's why I don't like the guy.
HALEY: Lucas.
LUCAS: No, that's just like him! To get you branded with his jersey number right above your @#%$?
HALEY: He doesn't even know about it. I just, I just did it.
LUCAS: By yourself?
HALEY: Yeah, by myself.
LUCAS: Haley, why would you do that?
HALEY: Because I'm in love with him. (She walks away)
[Karen's Café]
(Haley is drying her hair then throws the towel to Lucas and she gets out two mugs and hot chocolate)
LUCAS: Look, I didn't mean to freak out on you up there, okay? But, a tattoo?
HALEY: You got one. You got one with a girl you're not even dating anymore.
LUCAS: I know. How stupid do I look?
HALEY: You hold me to a higher standard than everybody else, Luke, and it's not fair.
LUCAS: Look, I know it's not fair, okay? But that's because I've seen you be better than most people. Let me see it again. (She turns around and lifts up her shirt) How long ago did you do it?
HALEY: A few days ago.
LUCAS: And Nathan had nothing to do with it?
HALEY: No, I told you, Nathan doesn't know. Ugh, God, what am I going to do, Luke? I'm so, I hate being away from him, I think about him constantly. I was in the middle of a history quiz yesterday and I just totally zoned out on him. Maybe we're not going to be together for the rest of our lives, but right now I'm in love for the first time and if I look at this tattoo 20 years from now, and it reminds me of how I feel today, I think I'll be okay with that.
LUCAS: Then why didn't you buy Nathan at the auction? Why hide out with me?
HALEY: Because, I wanted to remember for a night the way that things were. Everything was so much simpler when it was just you and me. And I'm used to being self-confident, and sensible and, I just really feel like a mess right now.
LUCAS: You're not a mess. You're just in love.
HALEY: And I'm not sure if he is.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Pool]
NATHAN: What happened to us, Peyton? We used to be good together.
PEYTON: No, we weren't. We just had s*x a lot.
NATHAN: You sure about that?
PEYTON: Trust me. You're the only guy I've been with. You knew that.
NATHAN: Yeah, I know, I just, I figured since we broke up, maybe-
PEYTON: No.
NATHAN: Yeah, me neither. It's just s*x, right?
PEYTON: Okay, you know what, Nathan? Haley really deserves better than that. She really, really likes you and she's good for you and more than that, she trusts you-
NATHAN: I know that.
PEYTON: And okay, fine. We could do it, right here in the pool, and nobody would know.
NATHAN: Peyton...
PEYTON: But I would know, and you would know, but I wouldn't do that to Haley. Or myself. Or even you for that matter. Cause you know what? If you screw things up with your relationship with her, than you're a bigger jackass than even I thought.
NATHAN: I know it would hurt Haley. The only reason I mentioned it, was to let you know that I'm not pressuring her.
PEYTON: Right. I knew that.
NATHAN: You said I was good in bed.
PEYTON: No, I didn't.
NATHAN: Oh yes you did.
PEYTON: Oh, God, kill me.
[Checkers]
(Jake and Nikki are walking to the car)
NIKKI: So I left school for good by the way. Thought I might transfer here. Will you at least tell me how she's doing? (He gets in the car) Right. (She gets in) So I guess asking you how you're doing is out of the question. (She takes the keys out of the ignition) You look good.
JAKE: Give me the keys, Nikki. (She is leaning over onto his shoulder) Stop it.
NIKKI: Come on. I missed you, Jake.
NIKKI: Remember how good we were? (She has her face against his neck) I know it's been hard for you, I do. Let me make it easier. (She kisses him and he returns it.) Come back to me. We could be a family. (They kiss for a few seconds then Jake throws her off)
JAKE: Damn it. Damn it, Nikki. You almost had me again. You want to impress me with your Maternal instincts? Get out. (They both get out) Why don't you go buy all the things you think Jenny might need. I'll wait.
NIKKI: Okay.
JAKE: Hey, by the way. She's 9 months old, just incase you forgot.
NIKKI: I'll be fine.
[Whitey's Office]
KEITH: Hey.
WHITEY: Hey, Keith, come on in.
KEITH: I saw your car. So how did pimp duty go?
WHITEY: That's charity coordinator.
KEITH: Right. Assuming you'd raffle yourself off, huh?
WHITEY: Nobody could afford me. I'm glad you came by, Keith. I've been wanting to ask you a question. (he pours them drinks) When do you plan to start living?
KEITH: Well, I am living, coach.
WHITEY: No you're not. You're dying. I for one think it's a damn shame. You know what I'd change in my life if I could? I'd have Camilla back. Just to spend one more day with her. When we were young and in love. You love Karen, don't you?
KEITH: Yeah, I do. And I plan on telling her that it's just, things have been kind of messy since the accident, you know?
WHITEY: I understand. There's something you need to understand. Everyday you wait, is another day you'll never get back again. Trust me on that, son. I know.
[Brooks and Mouth's Limo]
BROOKE: So why don't you have a girlfriend? You're a nice guy.
MOUTH: Well that's the problem. I'm too nice. Girls like jerks.
BROOKE: Yeah, tell me about it.
MOUTH: You mean Lucas?
BROOKE: I thought we weren't going to talk about Lucas tonight, but I could just throw your @#%$ out at the next light.
MOUTH: Okay. So let me ask you a question. What do girls want?
DRIVER: Half your paycheck. (Brooke rolls up the window between them)
BROOKE: Here's my philosophy on dating. It's important to have somebody that can make you laugh. Somebody you can trust. Somebody that, you know, turns you on. And it's really, really important that these three people don't know each other. (They laugh)
[Jake's Car]
(He's waiting for Nikki to come back. She comes walking up and takes things out of the bag)
NIKKI: I got the cutest little stuffed animal.
JAKE: She has a purple monkey that she can't sleep without. Anything else she ignores. (He throws the stuffed animal onto the car. He takes things out of the bag) You got the wrong formula. She needs a special kind because, well she wasn't breastfed. The alcohol in these wipes are bad for her skin. I buy her a special vitamin because she was a little underweight at her six month checkup. She doesn't read. She sure as hell doesn't smoke. Oh well look, at least you got the most expensive kind of ice cream.
NIKKI: I got that for you. Cause on our third date you said that all you needed for life to be good was a pint of this ice cream. I want your life to be good, Jake. I want to be with the boy that told me those things. Where did he go?
JAKE: You left him. Damn it, Nikki, it's not fair for you to come back here and do this. It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Jenny.
NIKKI: I still love you, you know?
JAKE: It's funny. I can't tell you how many times I spent wondering when I was going to hear you say that again. Just hoping the next time the phone rang it'd be you, calling to say those words.
NIKKI: Jake.
JAKE: And now that you're here, I, I cant even remember why I needed to hear them. You should recognize this next move, Nikki. You perfected it. It called turning my back and leaving you behind. (He get in the car. Nikki has a tear go down her face)
[Football Field]
(Larry and Karen are walking on the field with flashlights)
KAREN: I don't know about this, Larry. We're trespassing.
LARRY: No we're not. Our taxes paid for this place.
KAREN: Oh, okay, let's try vandalism, theft...
LARRY: We loosen dirt, on a field we paid for, get property that belongs to you, and we put the dirt back. What could they charge for us?
KAREN: Immaturity. (She hands him her beer)
LARRY: There's a difference between growing up and growing old, Karen.
KAREN: Give me the shovel. (She starts to dig)
[Another Club]
(Mouth and Brooke are dancing together)
MOUTH: I can't believe you do this every night. You have the greatest life. (She looks around and makes eye contact with a guy at the bar. She walks over to him. Mouth continues to dance with other girls)
BROOKE: Hi.
GUY: You look hot tonight.
BROOKE: Thanks. (She kisses him) So, what's your name?
GUY: You don't remember the last time we did this. You were pretty wasted. You're name is Brooke, right? (Brooke realizes what she had done and looks around the room at all the people hooking up) So, Brooke. Are we going to do this again, or what? (She looks upset and walks away slowly. Mouth notices her leaving and follows.)
MOUTH: You okay?
BROOKE: I need to go home.
[Limo]
(Brooke looks in scared and sad. They are sitting in silence with Mouth watching her)
MOUTH: Brooke, did something happen? (She nods, almost crying) Do you want to talk about it?
BROOKE: How long have you known Lucas?
MOUTH: Since 4th grade. I transferred in.
BROOKE: And you think he's a good guy?
MOUTH: I think he's a great guy. Why?
BROOKE: Remember when I told you what girls want? Girls just want somebody to want them back. At least I do. (She starts crying and leans on his shoulder)
[Football Field]
(Larry is digging and Karen is drinking and doing a cheer next to him)
KAREN: If it's action that you're craving, go and get yourself a Raven. We said go. Ravens. Go mighty Ravens. If you really want to score, gotta dig a little more. We say go, Ravens, go mighty Ravens. (Larry hits something with the shovel)
LARRY: Oh. We got treasure. (They pull out a big box) Oh yeah. Check it out.
KAREN: Oh! (She pulls out a yellow shirt)
LARRY: Bon Jovi. I saw that tour. Scorpions opened for them.
KAREN: Yeah. Oh no!
LARRY: Check out the hair. (They have a picture of Karen and Dan together)
KAREN: Me and Dan.
LARRY: Is that Keith?
KAREN: Yeah. He was always very protective. (Keith is standing in the background behind them) You know I don't think I ever noticed Keith in the picture before.
LARRY: Well the kid in the background is definitely in love with the girl in the foreground.
WHITEY: What in the sam hill is going on here?
KAREN: Oh my God.
WHITEY: Karen?
KAREN: Hi, Whitey.
LARRY: Offer you a beer, coach?
KAREN: We were, um, having dinner and - (Keith comes up behind Whitey) Oh hey, Keith. (He turns around and leaves. Whitey follows him. Karen watches them and Larry laughs.)
[Nathan's Apartment]
PEYTON: It's nearly midnight. Looks like our date's almost over.
NATHAN: Yeah. I think I was hitting on you in the pool.
PEYTON: You think you were?
NATHAN: I don't know anymore. This whole good guy thing, it's new to me. I guess I'll always have feelings for you, Peyton. But I owe it to Haley to be a better guy than I've been. I just don't want to be the kind of guy that cheats no her.
PEYTON: Then don't be. Nathan, I'm proud of you. You know, standing up to your dad, and being a good guy for Haley. You're turning into the kind of guy I always knew you could be.
[Outside the apartment]
(Lucas and Haley are coming up the stairs)
LUCAS: So Nathan got his own place.
HALEY: Yeah this is it. Oh crap. I left some cds for him in the car. I'll be right back.
LUCAS: No, I'll come.
HALEY: No, it's alright. Um, why don't you go ahead and go on in, apartment 11. Hey, ask him if he's in love with me, and if he says no, break up with him for me, okay?
LUCAS: Okay.
HALEY: Great. Hey. Seriously. Say something nice, okay? I mean, he's really a different person.
LUCAS: Okay.
HALEY: Okay. (She goes back down and he goes to the apartment)
[Inside]
PEYTON: I better get going.
NATHAN: Okay. I guess by rule, I owe you a kiss.
PEYTON: I guess so. (Lucas walks up to the door and sees in. Peyton and Nathan kiss for a second then smile at each other. Lucas backs away from the door so they don't see him)
[Outside the apartment]
(Lucas came down to Haley before she could go up)
LUCAS: He wasn't there.
HALEY: Are you sure? Apartment 11? (She calls his cell phone)
LUCAS: Yeah.
HALEY: Voice mail. Great. I guess he's not done yet. I told you Peyton was easy.
LUCAS: Come on, I'll take you home.
HALEY: Okay.
[Limo]
(The driver opens the door for them and they get out)
MOUTH: I guess I should have told my parents I'd be out late. I'm not sure this was a good idea.
BROOKE: Mouth, you've got to live a little.
MOUTH: No, it's not that. I mean, a night with you is like flying first class. My life is coach. It's going to be hard going back to it.
BROOKE: Thanks, but this gets old, pretty quick. Trust me.
MOUTH: Listen, Brooke. I don't know what's going on with you and Lucas but he's a really good guy. I've never been really good at sports, I mean, I'm little, you know. But when I decided I wanted to be a sports announcer, Lucas introduced me to the guys at the river court and it made me feel like I belonged. He has a good heart. And as far as I can tell, you do too. I'd be really surprised if you two couldn't work things out.
BROOKE: Thank you.
MOUTH: Well, I should get home. That stripper might booty call me. (He starts to walk away)
BROOKE: Mouth. (She gives him a kiss)
MOUTH: Oh right. For the charity thing.
BROOKE: Nah. Just cause.
MOUTH: Hey, Brooke. Thanks. This was the greatest night of my life. (he leaves and she gets in the car)
[Haley's House]
(Lucas pulls up in front)
HALEY: Well, did you have fun tonight, slave boy? Thanks for playing along.
LUCAS: Look, Haley. I know we've grown apart a bit lately. And I know we have a lot a head of us. But, I just want you to know I'll always be there for you. And if Nathan doesn't see how special you really are, well, then he's an idiot. Cause I think you're amazing.
HALEY: Thanks, Luke. Oh, technically you owe me a goodnight kiss. (She doesn't look happy about it)
LUCAS: Mm. Rules are rules, I guess.
HALEY: Yeah, I guess so. (They start to lean in but she stops them) Here's the thing, though, if your tongue comes anywhere near my mouth I'm just never speaking to you again. (Lucas laughs) (They have a quick peck on the lips then hug)
LUCAS: Hey, Haley. You're going to be okay. I promise you that. (She smiles and gets out of the car)
[Jake's House]
(Nikki is at the door waiting for him. He open it.)
JAKE: Nikki, don't do this. (He tries to close the door)
NIKKI: Jake, please. Keeping Jenny away from me because I hurt you is wrong. (She tries to look in but he comes out and closes the door behind him) Can't you just forgive me?
JAKE: It was a Wednesday.
NIKKI: What? What was?
JAKE: The day I realized that you weren't coming back. I loved you. You knew I loved you. I would have done anything for you. But you betrayed me. So it was that same Wednesday that I stopped loving you. And I promised myself that my daughter would never feel the pain that you caused me. You want to hear me say it? Fine. You broke my heart, Nikki. But you will never break my daughters heart because you will never, ever have the chance to.
NIKKI: I'm going to be in her life, Jake. With you or without you.
[Lucas' House]
(Karen walks in with Larry)
KAREN: So would you like some coffee?
LARRY: It's getting late, I should probably go.
KAREN: I had a lot of fun tonight. I didn't do much of this in high school.
LARRY: Well maybe next time we could do something less juvenile.
KAREN: Oh well, if we have to.
LARRY: Karen, I know you have some history with Keith. I hope I didn't cause any problems tonight.
KAREN: No.
LARRY: But I like you. For what it's worth.
KAREN: Well I like you too, Larry. And you're right. I do have history with Keith. I'm just not sure we have a future. (He kisses her)
LARRY: Goodnight.
KAREN: Goodnight. (he leaves then the doorbell rings. Keith is there when she answers it) Keith.
KEITH: It's not too late is it?
KAREN: No. Is everything okay?
KEITH: Not really. These last few weeks have been the hardest of my life. Being without you and Lucas, on the outside of your lives. I felt, I felt like a shadow of someone I used to be. And I know I let you down. And , I put Lucas at risk, but you have to know, I love Lucas. And I've been carrying this around with me since the night of the accident. (he pulls out a ring box) I love you Karen.
KAREN: Keith.
KEITH: I always have. Marry me.
[River Court]
(Lucas is sitting on the picnic table. Brooke comes over to him)
BROOKE: I need to talk to you.
LUCAS: Okay.
BROOKE: I spent the entire night trying to avoid this or ignore it, but I cant so I've just got to say it
LUCAS: Brooke what's up?
BROOKE: I think I'm pregnant. (he looks at her shocked)
|
Plan: A: the highest bidder; Q: Who wins the auction? A: the annual "Boy Toy" charity auction; Q: What is the name of the charity auction? A: Mouth; Q: Who does Brooke spend the night with? A: The Cure; Q: What band is this episode named after? Summary: Lucas, Nathan and Jake are auctioned off to the highest bidder in the annual "Boy Toy" charity auction and the night leads to surprising developments with old flames. Meanwhile, having missed out on the auction, Brooke ends up spending the night with Mouth and he has the time of his life. This episode is named after a song by The Cure .
|
Le poids du monde
(2x04 : Weignt Of The World)
Written by OZ SCOTT & SCOTT PETERS Directed by VINCENT MISIANO
Flashbacks to the season opener, Wake Up Call. Trent Applebaum [Abducted May 18th 1989] walks into a diner and sits with his head in his hands, as the waitress leans over and kisses him on the top of the head.
Elyse: How did it go today, Daddy? That bad, huh?
Applebaum: Nobody wants to buy time shares in Wilmington Idaho. Baha California, maybe.
Elyse: If I were you, I'd go in and tell them 'Either you let me have the good listings, or I quit'.
Applebaum: The whole staff wants Baha, honey and I don't have the seniority.
Elyse: How is that fair? You've been a salesman longer than any of them.
Applebaum: Salesman, not telemarketer! It's different. Another man enters the diner.
Man: Hey, hey! Applebaum! Payday! Applebaum makes a run for it but is blocked by another man.
Elyse: Leave him alone, he's trying to get it back! His head is forced down onto a plateful of food.
Demetri: This your beer, Applebaum? You don't mind if I quench my thirst, do you?
Applebaum: Honey, stay back. Stay back! Demetri sits on a stool next to him.
Applebaum: I just need a couple more weeks. Something will turn around.
Demetri: In my business, we hear every sobstory in the book. But I gotta tell you, yours is a new one. Disappeared 15 years ago, came back and my wife died. Daughter dropped out of school. You got a bad break, but you borrowed the money, now you have to pay me back.
Applebaum: I'll figure something out.
Demetri: Do it quickly, cos you and I are going to talk again in 48 hours. I thought you 4400's got special powers. How come you're such a big nothing.
Applebaum: Just lucky I guess. Demetri drinks the rest of Applebaum's beer.
Demetri: Ah, that's cold. Thanks for the beer. They let him go and start to walk out. Richard and Lily are driving along.
Richard: We should reach Eric's place by tomorrow. It'll be nice to see a friendly face and be able to sleep in for a change.
Lily: Sounds good.
Richard: You like Eric, right? You guys got along in quarantine.
Lily: Richard I'm late. Like, I might be pregnant, late.
Richard: You sure?
Lily: No I'm not sure. I'm late.
Richard: Well, we'll just have to wait and see.
Lily: Wait and see?
Richard: Go to the drug store and maybe get one of those test things.
Lily: And what would you like it to say?
Richard: I'd like it to say congratulations. You have a job, a house and a future, you're ready for another child. But I don't think it's gonna say that.
Lily: No, probably not. Two day's later. Applebaum and his daughter are in their home counting money.
Applebaum: 31, 32, 33, 3400.
Louise: Well that should keep the creeps happy for a while.
Applebaum: I'm sorry about your car.
Louise: I'll ride a bus to work.
Applebaum: I'm sorry about the television.
Louise: I'll read a book. Demetri is at the door. The man appears to be half the weight he was before.
Demetri: Applebaum the miracle man huh?. You notice anything different about me?
Applebaum: My God!
Demetri: 75 pounds in two days. At first I thought the termites had gotten me. I was sick. Cancer doctors ran all the tests. Turns out I'm fine, but how could I lose all that weight? Then I thought of you. Me and you, we share a bottle of beer and you're one of those 4400's.
Applebaum: What does that prove?
Demetri: Nothing yet, but let's find out. Demetri's wife is holding a bottle of water.
Demetri: I want you to take a sip, because if I'm right, and you made me lose all this weight, then the same thing should happen to my wife. Who though I love very much, I do, could stand to lose maybe 20 pounds.
Wife: 30. Go ahead. Drink up. Demetri takes the money Applebaum has in his hand and puts it back in his pocket
Demetri: Applebaum. These people who took you, they set you up for life. They snatched up a bum salesman. They sent you back, the human diet.
Applebaum: The human diet. I like that. He takes a drink from the bottle and hands it back to the woman, who takes a drink. Titles. A crowd of photographers is gathered outside the 4400 centre. Jordan Collier is standing beside the pop diva, Chloe Granger.
Chloe: Thankyou. Thankyou. Reading Jordan's book was an absolute revelation. I bought copies for all my backup dancers and we discuss it every night after the show.
Collier: She cut her tour short.
Chloe: Yes, because I felt like I had to be here. Obviously, I am not one of the 4400, but I expect to be treated just like any other student here. If I am lucky enough to tap into an ability, I will use it to ensure the world a brighter future.
Collier: Congratulations Chloe Granger, you have achieved first key. Everyone begins to clap as the key is held up. Shawn is also clapping and smiling. Devon is standing beside Shawn.
Devon: Last year she was into Kabala. Demetri and his wife are in their bathroom. She is standing on the scales.
Woman: That's amazing. I lost 23 pounds. I haven't weighed less than 130 since college.
Demetri: I told you Applebaum was a real hero, right?
Woman: You better not be harrassing him anymore.
Demetri: Honey, what we got from him was worth way more than what he owes me. Turn around.
NTAC
Nina: Question of the day. Who is Trent Applebaum and why is the Drandex corporation calling me about him.
Tom: Applebaum disappeared in the late 80's.
Diana: He's in phone sales, right?
Nina: Well now he's selling himself. He claims that his saliva is a catalyst for weight loss.
Tom: Can Applebaum back his claim up?
Nina: He's got two satisfied customers. Married couple. One dropped 75 pounds, the other 23. Practically overnight.
Diana: My God! You've really got to hand it to the future on this one. If they really gave him this ability there could be a cure for obesity.
Tom: Yeah, or change the world.
Nina: It's about to change Trent Applebaum's world. He hired a lawyer, an agent. They were asking 20 million dollars but Durandex is in a bidding war with three other companies, so who knows where the final number will end up.
Diana: A 4400 selling exclusive rights to his ability. Is it legal?
Nina: Our lawyers are looking into an injunction, but at the moment no legislation specifically prevents it.
Tom: Then our guy stands to be a very rich man.
Diana: Maybe we should go see him.
Tom: Yeah, find out if he's really worth 20 million dollars.
Richard and Lily arrive at the home of Eric Papequash who was abducted on August 5th 1955.
Eric: Hey! Jet pilot! Richard answers him in Native American.
Richard: Did I get it right?
Eric: Close enough. They hug.
Eric: Hey, so you sounded a little freaked out on the phone. Anything I should know about? Lily get's out of the car with Isabelle in her arms.
Richard: It's better that you don't. Eric kisses Lily on the cheek.
Eric: Hey! Look at you two. Lovebirds from quarantine building B. This little cutie must be Isabelle. Your Daddy told me all about you.
Lily: I bet he did.
Eric: Well come on in. I'll show you guys the guest room, and maybe somebody's sleeping on the couch? Lily rolls her eyes. Kyle and Wendy walk on campus.
Kyle: A-. Not too shabby for my first college essay.
Wendy: It was a good paper. Well thought out.
Kyle: So what's the minus for?
Wendy: Well, I always like to leave a little bit of room for improvement. Someone hands him a flyer for a party.
Kyle: Last day's of Pompeii.
Wendy: Yeah, they throw that party every year. You should go. Blow off some steam. You've earned it.
Kyle: I hate to go alone. You up for it?
Wendy: I probably flunked half the members of that frat. Not my scene. But don't let me stop you. Tom and Diana are at Applebaum's house.
Applebaum: I don't know how it works. They put something inside me. One of those enzymes or whatever.
Tom: So someone drinks from the same glass you do, and they lose weight.
Elyse: Maybe we should give them a demonstration.
Applebaum: Cut it out Louise! She thinks she needs to lose eight pounds.
Elyse: Try ten.
Applebaum: Sweetie, you're beautiful. You don't need to lose anything.
Diana: He's right about that. You don't.
Applebaum: A lot of kids go to college when they're eighteen. Elyse had to take a job at the diner. We were apart for sixteen years, but while I was gone they gave me a way to make it up to her.
Diana: Mr Applebaum, no-one is telling you not to provide for your daughter.
Tom: But a 4400 putting his gift on the open market, is a first. Wanna make sure nobody get's taken advantage of. Not you, not the buyer, other 4400's.
Applebaum: You don't have to teach me about selling! I've been a salesman my whole life. Most of the stuff I pedal? Junk! But now I've got a product that everybody wants and only I can provide. I am the damn product! Nobody's putting Trent Applebaum back in the bottle! Lily and Richard are joining Erics family and some guests at a barbecue in his garden.
Tara: My father fought in Korea. Infantry.
Richard: I flew an F36.
Tara: Eric told me. Daddy admired you guys. He said there were only 25 black pilots in the whole Airforce who were allowed to fly with everybody else.
Richard: There weren't a lot of us, that's true. You're the first person in a long time that's even mentioned the Korean war.
Tara: It was a big deal at our house. Veterans day, I'd be off from school. We'd always go to the parade.
Richard: Yeah, my Grandfather on my Mom's side, he'd take me too. Except it was called armistice day back then, for world war 1. He'd put on his full dress. Go march with his buddies.
Tara: Daddy looked so handsome in his uniform. I bet you did too. Lily looks up and doesn't look happy.
Richard: Yeah well, too late.
Tara: He passed away two years ago this August.
Richard: I'm sorry to hear that.
Tara: Thankyou. He would have really loved to have met you too. Eric is cooking on the barbecue.
Eric: The guy was 81. He was born 4 years after I was.
Mrs Papequash: Well luckily, I like older men.
David: So Richard. We know what you were up to in 1951. How about lately?
Richard: Well I've been working as an auto mechanic.
David: Oh really? So what brings you to this part of the country? It's kind of remote for a vacation. Lily is looking more and more uncomfortable and unhappy.
Eric: They came to see me. Us 4400's, we gotta stick together. We have a bond that you mere humans will never understand.
David: Eric, you freak me out when you talk that 4400 unity crap. There's an awkward silence.
Mrs Papesquash: Not really much of a talker, are you Lily.
Lily: I'm not really used to being in social situations these days.
David: Now you are a lucky man. This one here. Well its yap, yap, yap. He heads over to his wife.
David: But I guessed you already noticed that, didn't you?
Mrs Papsquash: I have to pee for about the 75th time today.
Lily: I have to change Isabelle. Diana and Maia are looking through a book of tatoo's, while April leans over the back of the sofa.
Maia: I like this one.
Diana: Oh they're all beautiful. I just like them better when they're in this book than I do on someone's shoulder.
April: You don't get it Di. These drawings, they're not mean't to live on the page. They're mean't to live on the skin.
Diana: That's very deep. But you're right, I don't get it.
Maia: I do.
April: Ok, you've got to let this brilliant little girl swing by ink tomorrow.
Diana: It's a tattoo shop.
April: A body art emporium. And for five hours tomorrow, I'm the featured artist.
Maia: You must be pretty good. Can't we go? Just for a little while?
Diana: One hour. Back at the 4400 center. Shawn is walking in a corridor as Devon passes by.
Devon: Oh Shawn, have you seen Chloe's schedule?
Shawn: Why would I have seen Chloe's schedule, Devon?
Devon: She has an interview with Us Weekly at 3 'o'clock tomorrow.
Shawn: Ok. Well hopefully she'll mention the center.
Devon: But her nutrition and purification class is at 3 'o'clock.
Shawn: Yep, I think I heard Jordan say she was excused from that. She's been on a macrobiotic diet for three years.
Devon: Or so she say's.
Shawn: Look, I'm sure Jordan plans on treating Chloe like any other student. Ok?
Cut to Jordan and Chloe in bed together. Applebaum is at the diner, pacing frantically whilst talking into a phone.
Applebaum: No! I don't wanna wait. I want to close. Just tell them it's done and I'll be in tomorrow. Alright, thanks Len.
Elyse: How much?
Applebaum: 40 million dollars. Elyse screams with joy and hugs him. Demetri is at a restaurant with his wife, eating dinner. Food is piled high on the table and he motions to a waiter.
Demetri: Hey, where's the next round. Come on!
Waiter: It's on it's way. But sir, this'll be your fourth steak.
Wife: Hey, we're hungry!
Waiter: Ok. Ok. I'd just hate to see you make yourself sick.
Demetri: No-one is sick, ok? We're hungry. We're starving. Now go! Go! Take your hands of the plates. Go! I'm starving. Collier opens the door of his room to find Shawn standing outside.
Shawn: Morning....you're not dressed. Those guys from Arkan films are here to pitch us.
Collier: Ah, the recruitment video. Yeah well, you can handle that meeting, can't you?
Shawn: Well yeah, sure, if you're too busy, yeah. Chloe comes out of the bedroom.
Chloe: Hey! I guess Jordan's getting a late start this morning. My bad! I'm just gonna jump in the shower, ok?
Collier: A shower sounds good, Chloe. Close your mouth, Shawn. You'll draw flies.
Shawn: One on one tutoring with a first key. That's new.
Collier: First key or not, Chloe demands, deserves, a different level of attention. She's our entree, Shawn, into the entertainment community.
Shawn: Jordan you have an entire chapter in your book that rips celebrity culture. It's a cancer that seperates people, that helps define the haves and have nots?
Collier: 4400 culture is all about unity. Please Shawn, do not quote me back to myself. The fact is, celebrities have deep pockets and deeper insecurities. We can use both to our advantage.
Shawn: You can be a manipulative prick, you know that?
Collier: Yeah well, it helps to use your entire skills set, when you're trying to change the world. Richard is in Erics workshop.
Eric: You and Lily should think about putting down some roots here. I think all this running is fraying you both around the edges.
Richard: You've noticed that.
Eric: Hard not to. You can do a lot worse than White Bird. It's quiet. Everyone minds their own business. Eventually, you're gonna have to stop criss crossing the highways. Might as well do it here before you run out of road.
Richard: Thankyou by the way, for not asking what we're running from.
Eric: I figured if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me. Look Richard, I got all the work I can handle up in Livingston, keeping up these movie stars second homes. We could use a hand.
Richard: You offering me a job?
Eric: They used to call us handymen. Now we're property managers. Either way you'd be working with me, not for me. Applebaum is at Drandix Laboratories signing the contract
Employee: And if you'd just sign right here. He signs and passes the paperwork back.
Employee: As agreed. Your signing bonus. He's given a cheque for 1 million dollars.
Applebaum: When do I start? Chloe is undergoing some therapy at the center. Shawn and Devon look in from a window above.
Therapist: You're making breakfast. As you pour the milk over your cereal, you notice that there's a photo of a missing child on the side of the carton. Takes you a moment to realise it's a picture of you at ten years old.
Chloe: This is giving me chills. Whose making this stuff up? Devon turns to Shawn.
Devon: What a moron.
Shawn: Devon, do not let Jordan hear you say that. The two of them hooked up last night, Yeah, and by the looks of it, probably this morning too. Back with Chloe and the therapist.
Therapist: There's a telephone number on a missing person's report. It's the number of your childhood home. Devon can later be seen sitting on a stairwell, crying. Lily and Richard are on Erics porch.
Lily: Stay here? You mean permanently?
Richard: It's a nice town. Eric say's I can start work tomorrow. Look Lily. We gotta get you off the road. Especially if you're pregnant again.
Lily: I'm not.
Richard: You sure?
Lily: Positive. Please don't try and pretend you're not relieved.
Richard: Relieved? Lily, I was trying to wrap my head around it, that's all. Especially if we're not going to be running anymore.
Lily: I don't like this place, Richard. Isabelle thinks it's....
Richard: Oh!! Let me guess. We should move on.
Lily: I was hoping we could go to Salem Oreon. I have some relatives there. I think they may be willing to help us out and keep quiet about it.
Richard: Salem? That's a city.
Lily: Maybe we could get lost in a crowd for a change.
Richard: This place, this life, feels right to me.
Lily: This is Eric's life. This is not yours. It's not ours. She takes his hand, but he brushes her away and walks away. Diana is in the office on the phone. Tom is standing in the background listening.
Diana: No, this is not my negotiating stance. This is my answer. No! Goodbye! She puts down the phone.
Tom: So let me guess. The answers no?
Diana: That was a rep from the yoyotron corp. They wanna sign Maia to a three hundred thousand dollar a year holding contract.
Tom: But Maia doesn't have any ability anymore.
Diana: Well you don't need any to make these deals. They're signing 4400's up on spec. They want them in their pocket in case something develops down the line.
Tom: Well you did the right thing by saying no.
Diana: Tom, about Maia...
Tom: What, she's ok isn't she?
Diana: She's fine. I've been trying to figure out the right time to tell you this. I probably should have done it right away but....You know those visions that Maia used to have? It turns out she was only pretending that they stopped.
Tom: How long have you known?
Diana: Not long. I only found out because I read her diary. It was an eyeful.
Tom: Are you gonna tell Jarvis?
Diana: I'd rather not turn my daughter's diary over to the government. Don't give me that look Tom. You kept Shawn's ability to yourself for quite some time.
Tom: I guess we're even now. April is tattooing someone.
Billy: See how cool that looks? You're right, she's a real artist.
April: Oh, say it again Billy Boy. I don't think my sister heard you.
Diana: Wrong, I heard him. You're a star.
Billy: Believe it. As soon as I heard April was appearing here, I booked my time right away. So did pretty much all of my buddies.
Diana: It's impressive. I'm proud of you.
April: Wait a minute. You didn't actually just say that you were proud of me?
Diana: Cut it out, of course I am.
April: I always thought you thought I was a loser.
Diana: Did you really think that?
April: Yeah I really did.
Diana: April!
Billy: All I said was that I liked the tattoo.
Maia: You don't always wear a helmet, do you? You should wear one tonight.
Billy: Why's that?
Maia: You won't make it over to Monica's house if you don't. Does that hurt.
Billy: How do you know about my girlfriend?
Maia: I really think you should wear your helmet. Kyle is at the Last Day's Of Pompeii party. Lot's of people, lot's of alcohol. Things suddenly shift and he finds himself alone outside. A shop window is smashed and a police car pulls up beside him. He has no idea what's happened and seems to have lost some time. Applebaum get's out of a car and Demetri walks up to him, apparently ill.
Demetri: You killed her.
Applebaum: Demetri, what happened to you?
Demetri: My wife, she's gone. Doctors say she starved to death. I'm next. You killed us both. He falls the ground. Tom storms into his house followed by Kyle.
Kyle: How many times am I supposed to tell you. I don't know how I got to that store and I sure as hell don't remember breaking any windows.
Tom: Not remembering is no excuse. And stop telling me somebody spiked your drink! The police ran tests Kyle, there was no GHB in your system.
Kyle: What else could it be?
Tom: You spent three years in a coma, you have no business drinking anything!!
Kyle: Ok, so I screwed up, I'm sorry. What more do you want?
Tom: How about acknowledging that this was serious. Do you know how close they were to charging you with breaking and entering. Which by the way is a felony. If I didn't play the NTAC card, you'd be sitting in a jail cell right now!
Kyle: Can I go to bed.
Tom: No! You wanna make up for lost time, Kyle. I get it, I get it. But we need to talk about some ground rules for you.
Kyle: I'm not a kid. I don't need ground rules.
Tom: I wouldn't know that from tonight. The phone is ringing.
Kyle: Answer it.
Tom [Into Phone]: What? You're kidding me. Yeah, I'll be right in. He get's his coat
Tom: We'll finish this later.
Kyle: What happened to laying down the law? Oh right, something more important came up.
Tom: Just go upstairs Kyle. Just go upstairs. Richard is walking down a street at night. Tara pulls up beside him in a car.
Tara: Richard, what are you doing out here?
Richard: Oh, just getting some air.
Tara: Hop in, we'll give you a ride back. He get's into the car. The Tara's husband David is sat in front beside her.
Tara: I was reading about your Air Force Unit on the internet yesterday.
Richard: No kidding. I looked at it a couple of times too.
Tara: You guys were the most decorated....
David: Tara! Will you stop pestering the man about his past?
Richard: It's ok. I don't mind
David: Well as long as we're gonna talk it, I gotta question for ya. What did a brother have to do back in the 50's, before they let you fly a plane, huh? Polish the officers boots on the weekends?
Tara: David!
David: No, no, I'm serious. I'm wondering. You all must have done some serious bowing and scraping before they handed you them keys, right?
Tara: That is enough! I'm so sorry, Richard.
Richard: No problem. With some people, the less they know, the more they talk.
David: Oh I know some things. A lot more than you realise.
Tara: What's that supposed to mean?
David: You need to quit fawning over the man and keep your mouth closed.
Richard: Why don't you just let me out right here.
David: Hey! You sit back and relax, huh? Cos this here? It's called marriage. That's all. You know what I'm talking about.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Applebaum goes to see Tom at NTAC.
Applebaum: Demetri's dead?
Tom: Organ failure resulting from malnutrition, just like his wife.
Applebaum: They were supposed to lose 20 or 30 pounds, not starve to death!
Tom: Are you sure there isn't anyone else? Family, friends.
Applebaum: No.
Tom: Did you kiss anyone? Share a drinking glass?
Applebaum: No, there's no-one else. Diana enters the room.
Diana: We think we know what happened with the Kazarrs. There's a protein in your saliva that hyper accelerated their metabolism. It's a cagey one, too. It stimulates the brain to release ebonefron and it breaks down fat cells at the same time.
Tom: No wonder they burned off calories faster than their bodies could take them in.
Diana: Well they could eat anything and everything and still starve to death.
Applebaum: That doesn't make any sense. We're supposed to be helping people, right? That's why we were sent back? All I wanted was to make good for my daughter. Now I'm a murderer.
Tom: You didn't mean to do it, Trent.
Applebaum: That's supposed to make me feel better?
Diana: We're going to have to keep you here and try to find a way to remove the protein from your system.
Tom: Look, the good news is, we caught it early. A lot more people could have been infected.
Applebaum: Oh no, I was at Drandix this morning. I spent two hours in their lab giving tissue samples. Tom goes to Drandix.
Employee: Look, this isn't my fault and I have the documents to prove it.
Tom: How many people did you test.
Employee: Look, my bosses, they wanted a clinical trial up and running by the end of the day. They said make it your top priority.
Tom: How many!!
Employee: A hundred. Back at the 4400 center, medics rush past Shawn.
Shawn: Hey, hey, hey, what's going ont? What's going on? Devon is taken out on a stretcher. Later Shawn and Collier get out of an elevator.
Shawn: Why would Devon try to kill herself?
Collier: Obviously, she's a very troubled young girl.
Shawn: But she's going to be ok, though?
Collier: They were able to pump her stomach out at the emergency room. She's at home recovering. But I think, what we need to do right now is to continue our work. Shawn walks off. Kyle talks to Wendy on campus.
Wendy: Kyle, if the cops say you didn't get G'd, you have to believe them, right?
Kyle: They could have screwed up the test. I didn't drink that much.
Wendy: Well maybe your Dad's right. Maybe you shouldn't drink at all.
Kyle: If it was just the booze.
Wendy: Well what else could it have been?
Kyle: When I first came out of my coma, I wasn't quite myself. I hope it's not happening again.
Wendy: I don't know exactly what you mean, but if you're losing chunks of time, you should talk to your Dad about it.
Kyle: What's he gonna do? Turn me over to NTAC medical? I'm not going back into quarantine. No way. Richard is working on his car in front of Eric's house. David pulls up in his car and storms over.
Richard: If you're looking for Eric.... David punches him in the face.
David: Now there's your goddamn apology.
Richard: What are you talking about?
David: She was at me all morning. Richard this, Richard that. I should go apologize. From here on in, you stay the hell away from my wife.
Richard: You're crazy right? I've got nothing going on with your wife. You'd better step away or take a deep breath or something.
David: Man I step where I please. He swings another punch, but Richard blocks it and throws him over the hood of his car, wrenching his arm up behind his back.
Richard: Now listen to me. You're gonna go home and you're gonna apologise to Tara. If you've got any brains at all, you're gonna start treating her better. Cos if you don't, one day someone's going to take her away from you. Now get your ass outta here! David get's back into his car. Applebaum and Tom are wandering among the Drandix test subjects.
Tom: Trent, this isn't helping. Applebaum:I had to see what I did.
Tom: You want to do something, get back to the lab. Help them work on a way to counter this.
Applebaum: Just let me call Elyse first. She'll be wondering where I was all night. Tom hands him his phone. The phone rings at his house and we see Elyse lying on the kitchen floor gasping for breath. Around her there are many plates full of food.
Elyse [into phone]: Help me!
Applebaum: Elyse?
Elyse: Daddy? Help me. Applebaum sits at Elyse's bedside.
Elyse: Sorry. I just wanted to lose ten pounds.
Applebaum: Baby, I told you, you were perfect.
Elyse: I used one of your water glasses.
Applebaum: We're gonna get you help. We're gonna get everybody help. Tom is watching from a window above. Diana walks in.
Diana: Tom, we got something.
Tom: What? Tell me.
Diana: Well I asked the guys downstairs if we could approach this like a smallpox vaccine. Use trace amounts of the adogen to build resistance and counter the effects of the disease.
Tom: People are starving to death.
Diana: Yes, because of a chemical reaction. Now they biopsied Trents liver. That's where the protein is coming from.
Tom: So if we can extract this protein.
Diana: They can make a serum that will stimulate antibody production of the victims. But they're gonna have to harvest tissue to do it.
Tom: How much of his liver would you have to use?
Diana: How much time do we have? They wanna take all of it. Lily is standing at Erics gate at night. Richard walks up behind her and kisses her on the forehead.
Lily: I've never seen a sunset like that. You know, when it takes forever to go down? It's like it doesn't wanna give up the sky.
Richard: It's a pretty sky. Worth holding onto. I'm sorry.
Lily: What for?
Richard: Letting you believe for a second that I wouldn't wanna have another child with you. I wanna build a future for us. I just need to get my feet under me first.
Lily: Maybe if we stay here, you can. I mean it Richard. You love it here. I don't wanna stand in the way of that.
Richard: Sure hate to give up that sky.
Lily: Me too.
NTAC
Tom, Diana and Applebaum are walking through a corridor.
Applebaum: Are you sure this will work?
Diana: Oh, it's Elyse's only shot. Her and all the others.
Tom: We've got a matching donor lined up. It's still a big risk, but say the word and the liver's on it's way. Applebaum:Ok then. You wanna close this deal? Here's the fine print.
Tom: You want Elyse to go to school? It's already done. We talked to Drandix and they've agreed to open up a college fund in her name.
Applebaum: Sold.
Tom: Great. Later at Devons house. Shawn has brought a vase of flowers.
Shawn: Your Mom put them in a vase for me. She's a very nice lady.
Devon: They're very pretty, Shawn, but you didn't have to.
Shawn: Well I wanted to.
Devon: I hope Jordan's not too upset.
Shawn: No, no. Hey.
Devon: He's probably too busy with his pet superstar.
Shawn: Devon. What are you doing thinking about Jordan and Chloe, right now? Hey She begins to cry.
Devon: You have no idea how I feel about him. How deep it runs. I worship Jordan, for everything he's given me. For allowing me to be so close to him. He took me to a place I never thought possible.
Shawn: Devon, are you telling me that you and Jordan??
Devon: Jordan's heart is full of love. He shares that love with me as an honour. An honour that Chloe doesn't deserve. She's not a real student of Jordans. Billy knocks on Diana's door. His arm is in a sling.
April: Hey! God, what happened to you?
Billy: I left the shop the other night and got hit by a car on my way out of the parking lot.
Maia: But you were wearing your helmet, weren't you?
Billy: Yeah. The Doctor said it saved my life. How did you know that was gonna happen to me.
April: Childrens intuition.
Maia: I'm glad you're ok.
Billy: Yeah, me too. He takes her hand. Chloe is leaving the center.
Collier: It's a shame to lose you so soon.
Chloe: It sucks, huh? I thought my Atlanta dates were pushed. Now they threaten to sue if I don't show.
Collier: You've made such progress in such a short period of time. Believe me, that doesn't happen very often.
Chloe: Well, I sure as hell hope not. You know me Jordan. I like feeling special.
Collier: You are.
Chloe: This was amazing. I can't wait to get back here. Bye. She leaves. Shawn walks up behind Jordan.
Shawn: Talk about a quick study. Third key status in less than a week, huh?
Collier: Noblesse oblige, Shawn. She benefits and so do we.
Shawn: It's too bad all of the women that you screw, don't share the same benefits.
Collier: That's cheap and childish. I expect more of you.
Shawn: I know the feeling. Tara rushes into Eric's house.
Tara: I'm so sorry you two.
Richard: What's wrong?
Tara: It's David. He just looked on the website for the 4400's. It said that you two were missing. That you hadn't reported in the way that you were supposed to. I heard him on the phone just now. He's reporting you guys to the government. Richard and Lily say their goodbyes.
Eric: Sorry about that idiot David, man. I'd love to have you two around.
Richard: Thanks. Eric gives him some money
Richard: Oh, I can't....
Eric: Take it man. Call it a downpayment on your next house, wherever that may be.
Mrs Papesquash: Hope you find a safe place.
Lily: Thought it was here. They get into the car and drive away. Tom and Diana are pushing Elyse in her wheelchair.
Elyse: Is my Dad gonna be ok?
Diana: He's gonna be in intensive care for a while, but the transplant, it went well.
Tom: Your Dad's a hero. She looks in through the window of her father's room.
Elyse: I'm gonna tell him that when he wakes up. Back at the 4400 center.
Collier: If you have something to say, now would be a good time.
Shawn: Oh, you know what? You want to hand out keys like they're junk mail, you be my guest.
Collier: That woman will play to 20,000 people every night, wearing our insignia, promoting our image.
Shawn: Image? How does nailing your secretary help our image, Jordan?
Collier: I'm not perfect. I never intended to be.
Shawn: I don't need perfection. I just want you to stop giving me reason to think of you as some kind of hypocrite.
Collier: When you're running this place Shawn. You can behave as nobly as you'd like.
Shawn: Meaning what?
Collier: Meaning, one day all of this will be yours. The paperworks been drawn up. The lawyers know what to do. Everything's in place.
Shawn: But you're not going anywhere.
Collier: Nevertheless. I sleep better, knowing my life's work is in the hands of the saintly, the unsullied, Shawn Farrell.
NTAC
Nina: So we thought we had a cure for the world's obesity problems.
Tom: Yeah, it's good, we've got two dead bodies. A hundred other people in recovery and one corporation scrambling to cover it's ass.
Diana: It looks like the great 4400 gold rush is over.
Nina: Making the point of this little excercise, what exactly?
Diana: Maybe they got it wrong. They thought they had a cure, but they didn't. I mean, they're from the future but they're still Human Beings, right?
Marco: Let's not rush to judgement. We know rapid weight loss has an effect on the Human body, but if the purpose of this protein is to provoke metabolic chemical change, it could have other applications. Like uh, I don't know, breaking down toxic waste.
Diana: It could rid the ocean of pollutants. Maybe even repair the ozone layer.
Tom: So in other words, the possibilities are pretty much endless.
Marco: That's all they are right now though, possibilities. We're years away from practical use.
Nina: With his new liver, Applebaum won't be able to produce the chemical anymore.
Marco: He doesn't have to. Now that we've got it isolated, we could reproduce it and find out what we've really got here.
Tom: So Trent earned his golden parachute after all? Maybe his daughter could study chemistry in college.
Tom returns home to find Kyle in the kitchen.
Kyle: Hey.
Tom: Alright, there won't be any interruptions at my end. He switches his phone off.
Tom: This a good time to talk?
Kyle: Yeah. Um, I never said thanks for getting me off the hook with the cops.
Tom: Look Kyle, I know you're gonna make mistakes. I did when I was your age. The only thing I ask is that you let me help you learn from them.
Kyle: Makes sense.
Tom: So I just need to know. You told me everything that happened that night, right? Kyle looks at him for a moment.
Kyle: Yeah. Kyle is in his bedroom and he looks in the mirror which begins to warp his image. He see's himself grabbing his head in pain and then see's back to the night of the party and the shop front. He stares at himself in horror
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Plan: A: rapid weight loss; Q: What does a 4400 have the ability to induce? A: refuge; Q: What do Richard, Lily and their child find in the company of a fellow 4400? A: a pop star; Q: Who endorses Jordan's cause? A: Kyle; Q: Who is caught up in the frenzy when a frat party gets out of control? Summary: A 4400 with the ability to induce rapid weight loss attracts the attention of Tom and Diana; Richard, Lily and their child find refuge in the company of a fellow 4400; a pop star endorses Jordan's cause; and Kyle is caught up in the frenzy when a frat party gets out of control.
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[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Cordy: "I have a roommate. It's cool. I never see him."
Wesley: "Cordy's been sucked into the portal."
Cordy: "They made me their ruler."
Fred: "Handsome man - saved me from the monsters."
Darla: "He's here."
Lindsey: "Angel."
Darla: "I'd love to see that boy." Angel and Darla making out.
Angel: "Get dressed and get out. Because the next time I see you, I will have to kill you." Hyperion, day. Fred peaks around the corner of the corridor overlooking the lobby, hears Cordy's voice and quickly disappears again.
Cordy: "I can understand people who drink too much. I understand people who put a little note on the parking meter that says it's broken when it's not. I don't understand people who worship demons." Cordy, Gunn and Wesley come walking across the courtyard, carrying weapons and looking slightly disheveled.
Gunn: "Yeah. Especially Lu-rite demons. The stink on that thing... If you're a prince of the underworld, bro, take a Jacuzzi every once in a while."
Wesley: "It's sad. The only way some people can find a purpose in life is by becoming obsessed with demons. By the way, Gunn, technically that wasn't a Lu-rite. It was a Mu-rite, a sub-species of the Lu-rite. The male sports a small, tell-tale fin just behind the third shoulder."
Gunn: "So glad to know we're not the sad people obsessed with demons."
Wesley: "We have to be a little obsessed. We're detectives that specialize in these things."
Cordy: "And we're not sad."
Wesley: "No. No, we're a happy and rambunctious lot if I ever saw one. (Gunn looks at Wes) Not going to humor me even a little, are you?"
Cordy: "Hu-uh."
Wesley: "I realize we sacrifice a great deal of our - social lives. But we have to. Our work demands it."
Gunn: "True. I mean, who has time for love when you're out there doing it with the demons? (Wes glances in his direction) Didn't that come out sad and wrong? - I need to get out more. Speaking of: anyone talked to Fred lately?"
Cordy: "Not talked. Glimpsed. She pokes her head out of her room every once in a while."
Wesley: "Nice girl."
Cordy: "Nice, but not making the giant strides towards mental health. She's been hibernating up there for three months now."
Wesley: "Ever since Angel went away. She's become quite attached to him."
Gunn: "Angel groupie. I get that. He rescued her from Pylea."
Cordy: "I miss Pylea."
Wesley: "I would think you might. You were there a week, they made you queen. Fred was there for five years. She was a slave, a runaway, they nearly chopped her head off. All those years she spent hiding out alone in that cave."
Gunn: "She survived. Girl's strong."
Cordy: "The girl's trading one cave for another. How strong is that?"
Wesley: "When Angel comes back..."
Gunn: "When *is* he coming back anyway?"
Cordy: "As soon as he works through his grief a little."
Gunn: "A little? Buff..."
Cordy: Don't! Say the 'B' word."
Gunn: "The 'B' word was the love of his life, and he's,.what? 250? That isn't a short life. That grief work is gonna take more than a vacation in Sri Lanka."
Wesley: "It isn't a vacation. It's a spiritual retreat at a monastery."
Gunn: "Hmm. Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere. There's a party! He should have got hammered and went to Vegas just like I told him."
Wesley: "He doesn't need a lap dance. He needs some peace and quiet to work through this."
Cut to Angel, dressed in white robes, fighting against armed, red robbed monks in the hall of the monastery (doing a very cool back flip up onto a balcony at one point). The big double doors of the monastery open. Angel steps out to find some men wearing gray waiting outside.
Man (speaking Tibetan): "What happened?"
Angel (answering in Tibetan): "Demon monks. I should've gone to Vegas." The man cocks his head as Angel walks past, then looks in through the open doors to see at least ten red robbed bodies littering the floor. Intro Hyperion, day, Cordy walks in carrying two big mousetraps.
Cordy: "So, whose turn is it to set the traps?" Wesley and Gunn point at each other: "His."
Cordy: "You guys amaze me. You'll fight hell-beasts, but you're scared of rats."
Gunn: "Man, I hate rats. With their little beady eyes..."
Wesley: "...and their beady teeth."
Gunn: "And their little tails all woosh, woosh." Cordy walks towards the basement door
Cordy: "Well, aren't you two just the biggest scardies I ever saw..." Cordy drops the traps with a scream as the door suddenly opens just as she reaches it. Angel is standing there with a little smile on his face. Cordy gives him a hug.
Cordy: "You're back." Gunn and Wes come over, both starting to smile.
Cordy: "You guys, he's back!" Cordy pulls Angel after her into the lobby.
Angel: "Wesley."
Wesley: "Welcome home." Wes catches Angel in a hug.
Gunn: "Hey, what's up man?" Gunn greets Angel with a hug as well.
Cordy: "So, I hope you had a good retreat, all peaceful and meditate-y."
Angel: "Sure, until the monks turned out to be life-sucking Shur-hod demons."
Wesley: "Oh..."
Gunn: "Vegas."
Angel with a little laugh: "Yeah."
Cordy: "Well, the point is, you worked on things. It wasn't like a holiday, where you come back home to your friends, you know, with some small mementos of your trip..."
Angel: "Fishing for gifts?"
Cordy: "Yes!" Angel hands her a small skull-like head with a tuft of dark hair on top.
Cordy: "Oh - a - small - human head!" Angel pulls it out of her hand and tosses it to Gunn.
Gunn catches it: "Cool!" Angel smiles and hands Cordy a necklace instead.
Cordy: "Oh! Oh, my gosh, it's gorgeous!" Puts it around her neck.
Cordy, brightly: "And look how it brings out my breasts! (Gunn gives her a look) You know you were all thinking it! (To Angel) Thanks." Angel hands Wes a sheathed dagger.
Wesley: "Uh! Sixteenth century! (Unsheathes it) Angel! Murshan Dynasty? (Angel nods as a grin spreads across Wes' face) I've always wanted one of these! I didn't think you... (Whips the dagger through the air) Oh, I can't wait to kill something with this! (To Cordy) Any visions brewing?"
Angel steps towards the stairs: "The place looks good. How's Fred?"
Cordy: "Good! She's (Taps Wes' chest to get the guy's attention and makes a cutting motion across her throat with her hand) doing well."
Angel: "Hasn't come out of her room yet, huh?"
Cordy: "Not what you'd call frequently. We, we sent up a lot of tacos."
Angel turns back towards them: "I'll settle in and check up on her. You guys can bring me up to date. - It's really good to see you guys." Angel turns and walks up the stairs.
Gunn: "Thanks for the head, bro."
Wesley: "He seems better than when he left."
Cordy looks after Angel: "Uh-huh." Fred is in her room adding the words listen, listen to the scrawls covering the walls.
Fred: "Listen. Listen. Listen." Jumps at the knock on her door.
Fred: "Oh. Hi! How are you? I'm just fine. Doing real good here, no need to worry about me, but thanks for checking!" Goes back to writing.
Angel: "It's me, Fred."
Fred: "Oh, Angel." Fred hurriedly takes off her glasses and runs to open the door.
Fred with a big smile: "Hi! Hey! You're... Well, hi there!" Reaches as if to hug Angel, but when he just keeps standing outside of her door she steps back again.
Fred: "It's good to... Did you have a nice... Oh, here, let me make some room!" Hurries to take some stuff off one of the chairs.
Angel: "I can't come in."
Fred: "Of course not. You're worn from your trip. You go rest. We'll catch up later." Fred begins to shut the door, not looking at Angel.
Angel: "Fred, I wanna talk to you, I just can't come in unless you..." Fred, pulling the door back open: "I invite you. Instead of being rude! Oh, come in. Come in." Angel walks in and looks at the writing covering the walls.
Fred: "It's just a smidge of vampire in you as far as I'm concerned, but the universe has rules. I'm a great believer in rules, and theorems, formulas..."
Angel: "I get that."
Fred: "Aphorisms leave me a little dry."
Angel: "How are you?"
Fred: "Yeah. - Good. - Everything's pretty much like when you, you know, went away on your trip."
Angel: "Sorry I left so suddenly. I just..."
Fred: "Hey, no, you had things you had to take care of. And it's not like I need a babysitter or... You're sticking around *now*, right?"
Angel: "Yeah, I am."
Fred: "Oh (lets out a short laugh) good!" Angel reads the words on the wall behind Fred: "Listen, listen, listen... What are you listening for?" Fred sits down on the arm of a chair, pulling her knees up.
Fred: "The click. - When it all comes together and makes sense. There's like a click in your brain and then you understand things again."
Angel: "Oh. What happens if you run out of wall space before you get the click?" Fred, hugging her arms around her knees: "I don't know."
Angel: "Fred, I know you spent... (stops as he steps on some of the trash littering the floor, then moves a chair to sit across from Fred) five years in a place where humans could only be slaves or fugitives. I know that wasn't a picnic for you. But you're home now. You're safe. You can come out of your room. - I know that it's gonna take some time."
Fred gets up: "Time. I have a whole treatise on that. It seems to take a lot of it to do just about anything these days." Fred starts to write on the wall. Angel gets up and gently takes the marker out of her hand.
Angel: "Fred. Fred. You don't have to write absolutely everything down."
Fred: "Oh, right. (Laughs) God, I should write *that* down." Angel reaches out and helps down off the chair she was standing on.
Angel: "You just... come on... you just need to take some small steps. Hmm? (Pushes the glasses up on her nose with a slight smile) Like, uhm, coming downstairs (walks past her and opens the door) and hanging with us for a while. What do you say? There's nothing to be scared of. You're safe here in the hotel." Angel slowly steps backwards out of Fred's room. We hear Cordy scream downstairs.
Angel: "Hold that thought!" Angel runs downstairs where Cordy is having one dozy of a vision. Wes and Gunn come running as well from different parts of the hotel. Angel and Gunn support Cordy in a sitting position between them.
Angel: "Easy. What is it? What did you see?" Flashes of Cordy's vision.
Cordy: "A bunch of vampires - and - they're crashing a party. They're killing people."
Angel: "Where?"
Cordy: "Wilson College. Bonner Hall. (Wes and Gunn head for the doors) Room nine eighteen."
Angel yells after them: "Room nine eighteen!"
Cordy: "They're gonna take hostages. (More flashes) Watch out for the blonde. She's the worst!"
Angel: "Are you alright?"
Cordy: "Yeah. Fine. I'm fine. Go. Go!" Angel hurries after the others. As soon as he's through the doors, Cordy collapses, sobbing from the pain. Gunn, Angel and Wes enter a dorm room littered with bodies. Gunn picks up a flyer.
Gunn: "So much for inviting everyone.
Angel: "Some of them are still alive." Wes into the phone sitting next to the door: "There's been an accident. We need two, maybe three ambulances. Wilson College, Bonner Hall, Room nine eighteen." Angel looks around the room then walks over to the open window.
Angel: "They're heading east on sixth street. Take the car."
Gunn: "What are you gonna do?" Angel vamps out as he turns to look at Gunn.
Gunn: "Oh." Angel jumps out of the window, then runs along the roof tops. Four vampires are sitting in a convertible, whooping as they drive down the street. A blond boy sits between the blonde vampire Cordy mentioned and the driver, his dark haired girl friend sits between the two vamps in the back.
Bobby: "Please."
Elisabeth: "Hmm?"
Bobby: "Please don't hurt her."
Elisabeth: "You love her? (Bobby nods) You'd do anything for her. (He nods again) What if - we just kill her and let you go? Hmm? (Bobby just stares at her) Come on now. Life's about making choices. - You or her, what's it gonna be?"
Bobby, after a long moment: "Her. - Take her. God, I..."
Elisabeth: "Gee. Bobby, you call that love? We get home (pets the side of his head) I'll show you what love is." The girl in the back screams as Angel drops down onto the hood of the car and grabs the wheel, serving the car off the street into a building. Wes and Gunn bring Angel's convertible to a squealing stop behind it, and jump out, grabbing some weapons from the backseat. Angel jumps off the hood, slugs the vamp sitting beside the girl then pulls the boy and his girlfriend up and lifts them out of the car.
Angel: "Run!" Elisabeth slugs Angel and runs after the kids, only to find herself face to face with Wes and Gunn. Elisabeth punches Gunn then turns back to hit Angel as he is beating up on two of the vamps while Wes takes on the third. Gunn hits one of the vampire, distracting its attention from Angel, then quickly stakes it and throws the stake to Wes, who catches it and uses it to stake his vamp. Seeing this the third vamp runs while Angel grabs Elisabeth by the shirt, pulls her around to face him and stakes her as well.
Elisabeth stares at him: "Angelus?" then turns to dust. Angel looks down at the heart-shaped locket left in his hand from pulling her around. Break Cordy stumbles into her dark bathroom, leans panting on the sink, and looks at herself in the mirror. Bathroom door shuts and the light turns on.
Cordy: "Oh. Too bright, too bright!" The main light turns back off and a small table lamp comes on instead.
Cordy with a sigh: "Oh, thank you, Dennis. - How'd I ever live without a ghost?" Cordy opens the medicine cabinet and takes out a bottle of prescription pills. The stopper drops into the drain of the bathtub and the water turns on."
Cordy: "Hot. Really hot. Please." Cordy swallows three pills.
Cordy: "Ahh. These visions are killing me. They're getting worse every time." Cordy steps over to the tub filled with bubbles and takes off her shirt. Her shirt drops, then floats up to hang itself over a hook. Cordy is sinking back into the bubbles with a sigh. A loofa brush floats up in front of her face and Cordy leans forward.
Cordy: "Oh, Dennis, what'd I do without you?" We hear a telephone ring.
Cordy: "No." Flashback to Marseilles, 1767, a bell is ringing the alarm and we can see the glow of a big fire lighting the side of the buildings at the end of the street. Elisabeth and James are dancing down the street laughing, followed by a more sober Angelus and Darla.
Darla: "Young love."
Angelus: "Give it a century."
James: "A century? A mere hundred years?"
Elisabeth: "I would need a thousand just to sketch the perfect plane of your face."
James: "I would need ten thousand just to name the color of your eyes."
Angelus: "They're green, but take your time. In fact, don't. We have a ship to catch and Holtz may not be far behind." James sighs.
Elisabeth: "You know neither poetry nor love, Angelus."
Darla: "He knows other things. Marvelously vile and ripping things. Didn't we eat a poet in Madrid?"
Angelus: "Troubadour."
James: "Everything's closed! Pity. I wanted to spend some of the counts gold on you."
Angelus: "We'll need it for the voyage."
Elisabeth: "The count DeLeon was a little rich for my blood. I'll be full for a week!"
Angelus: "The fire was excessive."
James: "Of course it was. We burned his villa to the ground!"
Elisabeth: "We left a mark, made a statement!"
Angelus: "Ah, a statement as in 'here, we are, Holz. Please, hunt us down.'"
James: "Ah, who cares about Holtz?"
Darla: "You would if you knew him. He's killed scores of us. Hunted Angelus and I across half of Europe. God, he follows us to Morocco, what then? The new world?"
James: "I say we stay and fight the b*st*rd."
Angelus: "Yeah, but you're an idiot."
James: "I don't believe he's the most formidable vampire killer in the world. None lives to tell the tale and all. (leans closer) *You* lived to tell the tale."
Elisabeth to Darla: "I heard he trapped you both in a barn and *you* fled, leaving him to die."
James: "It's not true."
Angelus looking at Darla: "It's entirely true. She hit me with a shovel, wished me luck and rode off on our only horse." Darla smiles up at Angelus, leaning in close to him: "Life is full of surprises."
Angelus: "Ah, life is boring. You're full of surprises."
Darla: "Of course when you finally did catch up with me in Vienna I had to pay for my sins, again and again."
Angelus: "Hmm, can you even begin to fathom the things that we did? Of course not. You're in love." Darla and Angelus walk off. Angel turns back to see that Elisabeth is looking at a necklace in a shop window, James coming up behind her.
Angelus: "Let's not dawdle, children." Elisabeth looking at the hear-shaped locket: "It's so pretty."
James: "No it's not."
Elisabeth: "James!"
James: "Not as pretty as it's going to be..." James breaks the window and picks up the locket.
James: "When it's worn by the prettiest one of all." James puts it around her neck.
Elisabeth: "I adore it. I'll *never* take it off!" James swings her around then kisses her. Some uniformed soldiers come up the street.
Angelus: "And this is what love gets you."
James laughs: "Elisabeth, you and Darla get to the ship, we'll join you there. (Gives her quick kiss) Let's give them a rout, what do you say Angelus?"
Angelus: "I'd say you're an idiot, but I'd just be repeating myself."
James: "Come on you bloody frogs! I broke the window and I'll break your skulls! (Laughs and turns to Angelus as Darla and Elisabeth disappear down the street) See, all you have to do is stand up to them. (To soldiers) What are you afraid of?" Riders come galloping up and the soldiers disappear down the street.
Angelus: "Not us." The riders pull up, some of them aiming crossbows. Guy with a beard and big Quaker-like hat looks at them.
Angelus: "Hope she treasures that locket."
Gunn: "Then what?" Back in the present, Angel is locking at the locket, surrounded by Gunn, Wes and Cordy.
Angel: "Huh?"
Gunn: "What happened with Holtz?"
Angel: "Oh, that's another story."
Gunn: "We got time."
Wesley: "I'm not sure we do."
Cordy: "No, because James and Elisabeth had the big, forever love. If he's still around and he finds out who killed her..."
Wesley: "He's gonna want revenge."
Angel: "*If* he's still around and if they're still in love. That was a long time ago."
Cordy: "Yeah, two hundred plus years and the girl is still wearing the locket."
Wes turning to leave: "Gunn and I'll hit the streets, see what our sources can tell us."
Cordy: "Uh-huh. See? We have sources now."
Angel: "Oh, you're almost like real detectives now."
Gunn following Wes: "Hey!"
Angel: "Just kidding. You should probably check it out. - James really lived for that girl."
Cordy: "Yeah." James and the escaped vampire watch from the shadows of a parking garage as Elisabeth's car is getting hooked up to a tow-truck.
Vamp: "We did everything we could, but they were... (sighs) He was too much for us."
James: "Angelus."
Vamp: "Yeah. One of our own hunting us down. It's sick!"
James: "How is this possible? The Angelus I knew..."
Vamp: "He's not the same. Gypsies cursed him with a soul a hundred years ago or so. He's got a business here in LA. He kills us for money."
James: "She's gone."
Vamp: "It was horrible. She was bringing you two ripe and rosy humans and he just - flew out of the sky and..."
James: "And you ran."
Vamp: "No, I fought - until I saw it was hopeless. I thought you'd want to know how it happened, who did it."
James: "And now I do."
Vamp: "You want to be alone."
James: "No. - I want to die." James tosses the other vamp into a patch of sunlight, showing no reaction to the screams as he goes up in flames and dies. Angel is looking at the pictures of James and Elisabeth in the locket. Cordy, leaning on the counter at the other end of the lobby looks at him then turns back to the papers in front of her. Angel, back still turned towards Cordy: "What?"
Cordy: "What?"
Angel: "What do you want to say?"
Cordy: "Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna..."
Angel: "'cause I know you?"
Cordy: "Well, it's really - none of my business."
Angel: "And that always stops you."
Cordy steps closer: "Actually, it is my business, *our* business, because we're trying to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and - anyway, I don't like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don't think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death."
Angel: "I don't."
Cordy: "Good. Glad to hear it."
Angel: "I didn't even know who she was when I killed her."
Cordy: "Not her! - Angel..."
Angel after a beat: "Oh... (Closes the locket) you - you want to talk about..."
Cordy: "She was the love of your life and she died." Angel sits down on the stairs, facing Cordy.
Cordy steps closer: "And - you weren't there when it happened. (Sits down next to him with a sigh) You couldn't help her fight. You couldn't save her. - You couldn't die with her." Angel doesn't answer.
Cordy: "This is gonna be one of those talks where I do all the talking, isn't it? (Gets up) Well, I'm not gonna pry. It's not my style. (Turns back to face him) Okay, it's totally my style, but I can tell that I'm not getting anywhere right now. But you have to tell me one thing. You owe me this much. What the hell happened with Holtz" Flashback to Holtz men surrounding James and Angelus in Marseilles. Holtz steps up close to Angelus: "Where is she?"
Angelus: "How's your health there than, Holtz? Mine is grand, thanks for asking."
Holtz: "Where is she?"
Angelus aside to James: "He wants Darla. Bit of a thorn in his side. What she and I did to his family... Tasty lot, especially the little ones. Your wife, she kept repeating on us. Of course, you know, I repeated on her a few times myself." Holtz hits Angelus across the chin as two men step up and grab a hold of Angelus arms, then pulls out a stake and holds it at Angelus throat.
Holtz: "There are worse things than death, Angelus. I can keep you alive for months, years, if I have a mind to. (Presses the point of the stake into Angelus chest) Now. You *are* going to tell me where she is."
Angelus: "Lord, yes, I'm gonna tell you. Who's arguing? I don't want to suffer needlessly. (Tilts his head towards James) She's with his lass."
James: "Shut your mouth, you bloody coward!"
Angelus: "Hey, he's in love. It's all very passionate and befuddlin'. Tell you what, how about I give you him and the women? - They're down at the docks."
James: "I'll kill you!" James pulls Angelus free of the two humans and hits him. Holtz picks up a crossbow and aims it at the two fighting vampires.
Holtz: "Kill them!" Bolts start flying. Angelus, crossbow bolt stuck through his shoulder jumps on a horse. James jumps up behind him.
Holtz: "Stop them! Stop them, they are getting away!" More bolts fly as the two vampires ride away down the street. Angelus pulls the horse up in an alley.
Angelus: "I think we lost them." James pushes Angelus off the horse and slides forward into the saddle.
James: "I'd kill you where you lay if I didn't have to get to Elizabeth."
Angelus: "Excuse me, I'm laying here with numerous arrows in me, saving your life."
James: "I'll be sure to tell Darla the utter lack of concern you had for her." James turns the horse around and rides off as Angelus pushes himself to his feet.
Angelus: "Buy her a hat. She loves hats. - Why are people always running off and leaving me? (Pulls an arrow out of his side) Am I a bad bloke? - I don't think so. Not once you get to know me. (Pulls the arrow out of his shoulder.) Oh. I really need a doctor." Drops to the ground with a groan. James bursts into a doctor's office, a frantic nurse at his heels.
Nurse: "Wait a minute! You can't go in there! He's sloughing!" The doctor, sitting behind his desk, pulls some light brown gunk off his face.
Nurse: "Dr. Gregson, I tried to tell him!"
Doctor: "It's alright, Sandy. (Drops the gunk in a basket labeled for toxic waste) I go through this every month. Just like a woman. (Wipes off his hands and puts on his glasses) so. I gather this is a matter of some urgency."
James: "I need it."
Doctor: "It?"
James: "The cure."
Doctor: "You're aware of the price? It's a steep one."
James: "I've already paid it."
Doctor: "Alright then. Sandy, lets prepare the patient." James is lying on an operating table with Dr. Gregson and Nurse Sandy standing over him.
Doctor: "Now, James, (lifts a scalpel) this shouldn't hurt (starts to slice into James chest) too much." Break
[SCENE_BREAK]
Lorne is on stage singing "I left my heart in San Francisco" Gunn and Wes are standing over by the bar.
Gunn: "He said he had something?"
Wesley: "That's what he said."
Gunn: "When's he gonna show?"
Wesley: "Any time now." An old demon wearing a knit wool jacket taps Gunn with his cane.
Demon: "You youngster wanna button it up? I'm trying to enjoy the show here. - See, that's real singing there. That's *real* music."
Gunn: "Okay, pops."
Demon: "What do you know?" Lorne finishes the song just as Merl walks up to Gunn and Wes.
Merl: "I'm not dealing if the bloodsucker is around."
Wesley: "Angel's not here."
Merl: "Good. He's always beating me up, or hanging me upside down, and he never pays up like he's supposed to." Wes pulls out some money and puts in on the bar in front of Merl.
Merl: "Jeez, if I could have made a living in Akron I never would have come back to this smog pit."
Gunn: "Tick, tock, Merl."
Merl: "Yeah, well, this thing took a little more leg work than I estimated. The price is gonna change."
Wesley: "Really?"
Merl: "Yeah."
Wesley: "Alright." Wes picks up the top bill and puts it in his pocket.
Merl: "Hey!" Wes keeps picking up one bill after another from the top of the stack, never taking his eyes off Merl.
Merl, grabs the money: "Hey, hey, hey! - This guy James you're looking for, he's alive, he's in town, and he knows what Angel did to his heartthrob. (Lorne had come up to them and is listening in as well) He's out for blood." Gunn pulls out a cell phone and starts dialing.
Angel to phone: "Yeah, do that. I'll cover this end."
Cordy: "What's up?"
Angel hangs up the phone: "He's alive. Wes and Gunn are gonna track him down."
Cordy: "What if they can't?"
Angel: "Doesn't really matter. 'cause I know where he'll be headed."
Cordy: "Here. For you."
Angel opens the weapons cabinet: "I want you to go home while it's still light out and stay there."
Cordy crosses her arms: "No."
Angel: "Yes!"
Cordy: "Hm-mm."
Angel: "Where's my hurling ax? This is all different!"
Cordy: "I moved some things to the cellar while you where gone. (Angel turns to look at her) They were dust catchers!"
Angel: "Go home."
Cordy: "I'm sticking with you!"
Angel: "I appreciate your courage, but I don't wanna see you get hurt."
Cordy: "Well, I don't either! I go home, he'll come after me because I'm home alone. That's what they do, they come after you when you're alone. Oh, sure, Cordy, go home! Be a hostage with the torture and the fear and the tort..."
Angel: "Cordy! Will you, just once, do what I tell you without arguing about everything, okay? Hurling ax. Basement?" Angel walks towards the basement doors with Cordy hurrying after him.
Cordy: "I'm not arguing! I just know I'd be a lot safer by your side rather than all alone at home." Angel opens the basement door to find James standing on the other side of it. James throws Angel back against the wall as Cordy runs back into the lobby.
James: "Why'd you do it?" They exchange a few punches then James sends Angel flying into the lobby.
James: "Because I had something you could never have?" Angel to Cordy peeking out from behind a pillar: "Get back!" Angel and James go at it again. Fred steps out onto the open hallway looking down into the lobby.
Fred: "Angel? - I thought I heard company. I came out of my room. Small steps - like you said." Angel stops choking James to step back to where Fred can see him.
Angel: "Go back to your room and stay there!"
Fred turns to go: "Okay then." James and Angel resume their fight.
Merl: "I don't know where he is now, but I know where he was earlier. Dr. Gregson's."
Gunn: "What kind of doctor is that?"
Lorne: "A demon kind. Slod demon."
Wesley: "Slod demon? What's he do?"
Lorne: "He's a collector." The phone rings in the Hyperion's lobby, but Angel is too busy fighting to answer it. Cordy picks up a fire extinguisher and hurls it at the back of James head.
Angel: "I told you to..." Cordy picks up a stake and throws it: "Shut up and stake him!" James intercepts the stake and attacks Angel with it.
Cordy: "Oops." James trying to push the stake into Angel's chest: "You never loved anyone - or anything. Go to hell." Cordy jumps on James back. James turns to send her flying across the lobby. Angel grabs a hold of the stake and buries it in James chest, then hurries over to help Cordy up.
Angel: "It's alright. It's alright. It's over." Cordy looks over and sees that James, instead of dusting, is pulling the stake from his chest. Angel and Cordy stare as the wound closes in front of their eyes.
Cordy: "Ah, over in what sense?" Break Angel attacks James and kicks him out through the glass doors into the sunlight streaming down into the garden court, hurries back to Cordy.
Cordy points: "Ah, shouldn't he be on fire?" Angel hustles her towards the basement: "Let's get out of here." Cordy is following Angel down the ladder into the sewers.
Cordy: "My coat. It's stuck."
Angel: "Leave it." Cordy slips out of it and hurries after Angel. James drops down into the sewers after them. Cordy and Angel come to a fork in the tunnels. Angel pushes Cordy towards one of them.
Angel: "Go that way."
Cordy: "Where are you gonna go?"
Angel: "Go!" Cordy goes. Angel slices his hand and splashes some of his hand some ways down the other tunnel then hurries after Cordy. Opens a door in the side of the tunnel.
Angel: "Cordy! This way. Hurry up!" Angel pulls the door shut behind them. James comes running up to the fork and sniffs the air, then runs down the tunnel Angel sprayed with his blood.
Cordy: "Alright, I've been doing this for a while. Don't stakes through the heart and sunshine kill you guys?"
Angel: "Sh! He seems to have become..."
Cordy: "...invincible?"
Angel: "Let's not exaggerate."
Cordy: "The ring of Amara, when you had that you were invincible. Does he have a ring?"
Angel: "No."
Cordy: "Hmm. - Did the Amara people make cufflinks or belt buckles?"
Angel: "There was only one."
Cordy: "And you had to smash it!"
Angel: "Why don't we recriminate later, okay?"
Cordy: "Yes."
Angel: "Now be quiet. I think he took the bait." A deep rumbling sounds and the tunnel begins to shake.
Cordy throwing herself at Angel: "Earthquake!"
Angel: "Subway!"
Cordy lets go of him: "Okay, just subway." Both of the jump and Cordy lets out a small scream as her cell phone suddenly rings.
Angel: "Jeez!"
Cordy fumbling with her phone: "Sorry, sorry, cell phone."
Wesley at Caritas: "Cordelia, is that you? Can you hear me?"
Cordy: "Huh? What? Say that again?"
Wesley: "There is something you have to know about James."
Cordy: "Oh. He's invincible, is he? He went to a what? Slog demon? What's that? (to Angel) some kind of doctor demon that collects rare organs. (To phone) Cut out his heart? (To Angel) Absolutely can not be killed. (To phone) Wait. What? - How long? Six what? What? Hello? (looks down at her phone) No signal. (closes it) Okay. The guy's invincible, but it only lasts for so long then he dies."
Angel: "How long?"
Cordy: "He said... I don't know. Six minutes, hours, weeks. (fumbles with her cell phone) I hate these. Come on, give me a signal!"
Angel: "That's good news. So all we have to do is, is wait him out."
Cordy: "Right. So we just wait here until we're sure." With a big crash James burst through a door a ways down from them. Angel hurries Cordy back out into the tunnels.
Angel: "Cordy, up here!" Angel and Cordy push through the people crowding the stairs to the subway platform just as a train pulls up. James is coming down the 'up' escalator, pushing people out of his way. Angel pulls Cordy through the open doors into the train. The doors close in front of James nose. As the train pulls out of the station Cordy, clinging to Angel's back sticks out her tongue at James.
Cordy: "What a creep." James de-vamps as he watches the train pass by him, then jumps on the back of it.
Cordy: "Should we get off at the next station and double back? He won't expect that. Or should we stay put till the end of the line and put as much distance between us..."
Angel: "Shh!" There is a clunking sound coming from the roof.
Cordy: "He couldn't possibly..." Angel pushes Cordy behind him just as James come bursting in through a window at the end of the compartment.
Angel: "Get back!"
James: "Well, this is a new twist in an old snake. - Is it possible you care about someone who isn't you?"
Angel glances back at Cordy: "Don't worry about her."
James: "But if you've changed. If you aren't the same man who screwed Darla and couldn't care less what happened to her..."
Angel: "Where did you hear... Oh. You mean back in the day. Right."
Cordy: "He has changed. A lot. He has a soul now and he cares about people."
James: "So you might feel something when I snap her neck."
Cordy: "Well, it's not like he's losing sleep with the caring."
James: "Lucky me. Now I can kill the woman you love."
Angel: "No, you can't."
James: "Are you forgetting who's the invincible one here?"
Angel: "The woman I love - is dead."
James: "Who are you talking about?"
Cordy: "It happened about three months ago. We try not to say her name too much."
James: "*You* loved someone - with all your heart."
Angel: "Yeah."
James: "No you didn't. - Because if you had you wouldn't be standing here playing games with me. You wouldn't be able to - because once she died or some b*st*rd killed her, it would have killed everything in you."
Angel: "I wouldn't be able to go on living."
James: "Don't worry, you won't. And she won't either." James rips a seat loose and smashes it across Angel's face.
Cordy: "Angel!" James hits Angel again sending sliding back towards Cordy and a male passenger standing by the door, leaning on a pair of crutches.
Angel: "Catch him!"
Cordy: "Catch who?" Angel pulls the crutches from under the guys arms and Cordy barely keeps him from falling. Angel flips to his feet and, one crutch under each arm, faces James.
Angel: "Come on!" James attacks and Angel catches his arm with the crutches and uses their leverage to twist James around and press him up against the wall.
Angel: "How's that, invincible boy, huh? - Is that your idea of love, James, hmm? It's not real unless it kills, you?"
James, panting: "Yeah. What's yours? It's fun as long as it doesn't cost me anything? - You don't know what love is!" Angel backs up, letting James free. James slides down the wall of the train and looks up at Angel.
James panting: "You think you won - just because you're still alive? - I lived. - You just existed." Angel just stands there staring down at James until James suddenly turns to dust. Cordy sees Angel coming down the steps of the Hyperion.
Cordy: "How's Fred?"
Angel: "She's alright, considering. We talked over what happened and I think she'll be coming out of her room any decade now."
Cordy: "And how about you?"
Angel: "I'm o..."
Cordy: "And don't say 'okay.' Angel, please. I know you. Ever since you've come back from your grief trip I can tell that something's not right. And, and *obviously* it's not. - Buffy's - dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. - I just wanna say - I know that James with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay."
Angel: "I am okay."
Cordy: "Then - what's the problem?"
Angel: "That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me. That I could deal with it. - In all those years - no one ever mattered. Not like she did. - And now she's gone - forever."
Cordy: "And you're still here."
Angel: "Yeah. I just feel like I'm betraying her somehow."
Cordy: "No! If you were a loser, if you were some sick obsessed vampire, you'd go to a Snod demon, or whatever, and get your heart cut out. But you're not! You're a living, breathing... Well, living, anyway - good guy, whose still fighting and trying to help people, and that's not betraying her, that's honoring her."
Angel: "You think?"
Cordy: "I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?" Cordy gives him a big grin, which draws a small smile in response.
Angel: "Okay."
Cordy: "So - can we get back to wor,k now?"
Angel: "Yeah. Sure. - There's work?" The door opens and Gunn and Wes come striding in.
Wesley: "What do you know about Nester demons?"
Angel: "Well, they like to live in the walls of people's homes. They hatch several times a year - and don't you have to kill their queen or something?"
Gunn hands Cordy a dagger: "Yeah. And if you don't they infest again, worse than ever."
Cordy: "We killed a bunch of them in Hancock Park a couple of months ago."
Wesley: "I don't think we got the queen." Angel accepts a knife and turns to go: "Well, lets go find out." The four of them stride down the hall of the Hyperion. Puerto Cabazas, Nicaragua, night, a big burly black guy comes into a cantina. He pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to someone waiting for him at the bar.
Guy: "Sorry it took so long. He's a very difficult shaman to find." Darla accepts the paper and stuffs it into her shirt.
Darla: "You can go."
Guy pours a drink: "Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I thought - we'd have a drink - to celebrate."
Darla: "No. Thanks."
Guy: "Oh. Don't be so shy, little one. You get to know me, I'm a very nice man. How much can - one little drink hurt, huh?"
Darla: "Depends on who's doing the drinking."
Guy: "Hmm. I thought you might have a - surprise or two in you."
Darla: "Well, you know what they say..." Darla vamps out and sinks her teeth into the side of the guys neck as he lets out a strangled scream, then drops him to the floor and picks up a slice of lemon and sucks on it.
Darla: "Life's full of surprises." Darla gets up from the bar and we see that her belly is bulging, big and round.
|
Plan: A: Buffy's death; Q: What is Angel mourning? A: battle; Q: What must Angel do against a vampire? A: friends; Q: What was Angel and the vampire he is fighting? A: 18'th century; Q: In what century did Angel and the vampire he is fighting meet? A: Marseilles; Q: Where did Angel and his friend meet? Summary: Even as Angel mourns Buffy's death, he must do battle against a vampire he was friends with back in 18'th century Marseilles - and whose girlfriend he has just killed.
|
THE SEEDS OF DOOM
BY ROBERT BANKS STEWART
PART TWO
5:30pm - 5:55pm
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY: You'd think butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. Keep watch.
KEELER: What're you doing, Scorby?
SCORBY: I don't like guns in the wrong hands.
KEELER: There's no need for that. They're not going to try and shoot us.
SCORBY: I'd rather not give them the chance. I said keep watch.
KEELER: I wish you'd stop behaving like some cheap gangster. All we've come here for is to confirm that this pod is something unusual, that's all.
SCORBY: You don't think we're going to fly back empty-handed, do you?
KEELER: But, we can't. Scorby! We'd never get away with it.
SCORBY: Are you a betting man, Keeler?
KEELER: Now just a minute. This is the first you've said. I want to know exactly what it is you're planning.
SCORBY: All right, Keeler. Tomorrow, we did a nice big hole in the snow. Big enough for, say, five bodies. We fill it up, we take the pod, we fly home. No witnesses, nothing. Just another lost expedition.
KEELER: You're mad. You're mad. You're mad. I'm not doing that. Oh, no.
SCORBY: You'll do it, Keeler. You'll do exactly as you're told. Otherwise we'll just make the hole a little bigger.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Ready, Stevenson.
STEVENSON: I'm sure
SARAH: I think Moberley's dead.
STEVENSON: What?
SARAH: This way.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: Did you see his face? Where's he gone?
DOCTOR: He left after killing Moberley.
STEVENSON: I don't believe it. You mean to say Charles did that?
DOCTOR: Not Charles, the alien.
STEVENSON: Alien?
DOCTOR: Not of this world, Stevenson. I told you he was changing form. Already his mind's been taken over. Very soon his entire body will alter.
SARAH: Into a Krynoid.
DOCTOR: Yes. There'll be a transition period, a grotesque parody of the human form. By now, Winlett himself no longer exists and we must destroy what he's become.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KEELER: Scorby, someone's coming.
SARAH: You okay?
SCORBY: Yeah, a lot better, thanks. What's the trouble?
STEVENSON: We're going out.
SCORBY: You're joking. In this weather?
STEVENSON: Yes, Mister Scorby, in this weather.
DOCTOR: Come on, Stevenson. We don't have much time.
STEVENSON: Ready, Doctor.
DOCTOR: I hope that's the answer. Stay warm.
KEELER: What the devil's going on?
SCORBY: What do you think I am, a mind reader? Anyway, come on. Now's our chance.
KEELER: What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Do what?
SCORBY: To find the pod.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DUNBAR: I tell you something has happened out there. We've had a telex message saying an infection has broken out.
CHASE: Infection? What sort of infection?
DUNBAR: Apparently a virus conveyed by the pod. Now, if you get that pod, you'll probably have to take precautions.
CHASE: If? There's no question of if. I have sent my most efficient man.
DUNBAR: To Antarctica?
CHASE: Yes. It will be easier to acquire the pod there rather than wait for its arrival in England and the resultant publicity. By that time it will be better protected than the Crown Jewels.
DUNBAR: You're going well outside the law, Mister Chase.
CHASE: I understand policemen are few and far between in the Antarctic.
DUNBAR: Look, if there are any repercussions, have I your word you'll preserve my anonymity.
CHASE: Don't worry, I always take care of my employees. It wouldn't do if a public servant of your standing were found betraying trust and selling secrets, would it.
DUNBAR: No. On the other hand, I took up a career hoping to reach the top, but I've seen time-serving nonentities promoted over my head.
CHASE: Yes, it must be most galling. The only alternative is to seek other forms of reward, which you have most sensibly done. I think you will find this is the amount we agreed for your, er, help.
DUNBAR: Yes, it's most generous.
CHASE: A fair exchange, Dunbar. You want money, and I want that pod.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: What's that down there?
STEVENSON: It's our generator plant.
SARAH: Why so far from base?
STEVENSON: Safety measure. It's a new fuel cell system being tested out here for the first time.
DOCTOR: Let's take a look.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY: You're supposed to be the botanist. Where would you keep this pod?
KEELER: I don't know. I suppose it must be here somewhere. Careful, that valuable.
SCORBY: So what? There'll be nobody left to use it after we're finished.
RADIO (OOV.): This is South Bend calling Camp Five. Come in, Camp Five. Over.
KEELER: Scorby, what do we do?
RADIO (OOV.): This is South Bend calling Camp Five. Come in, Camp Five. Over.
SCORBY: Camp Five receiving you. Over.
RADIO (OOV.): Is that you, Derek?
SCORBY: Er, yes. Come in, South Bend.
RADIO (OOV.): The weather's clearing this end. The marines'll get the medic through as soon as possible.
SCORBY: Have they left yet?
RADIO (OOV.): They're leaving right now.
SCORBY: Look, cancel them, will you? We don't need them any more. Everything's under control here.
RADIO (OOV.): Hello? Is that you, Derek? Hello? Hello, Derek, is that you? Derek?
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: It left the place in a blizzard. It'll try to find shelter somewhere.
STEVENSON: I don't think this has been disturbed.
DOCTOR: It's as well to make sure.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KEELER: Hey, Scorby, I think I've found it. Look.
KEELER: Now, that's the pod in Dunbar's photograph, but
SCORBY: Somebody's cut it open.
KEELER: No, no, no, no, no. No, this wasn't cut. This must have germinated.
SCORBY: What do you mean, germinated?
KEELER: I mean that this pod has opened as part of its natural cycle to release a shoot or something.
SCORBY: Yeah, but its the actual plant that Chase wants, right?
KEELER: Right.
SCORBY: Well, we'd better find it, then, hadn't we, and quick.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: No, I'm afraid Winlett must have collapsed somewhere.
DOCTOR: Don't you ever listen, Stevenson? Winlett, Winlett, Winlett. Winlett as a man no longer exists.
SARAH: All right then, he's a plant or a vegetable or whatever he is now. He's going to have even less resistance to cold, isn't he?
STEVENSON: You know, I find this very hard to take. You're telling me that these things are inimicable to the whole of animal creation?
DOCTOR: Inimicable? They're lethal.
STEVENSON: How do you know?
DOCTOR: Never mind how I know, Stevenson, just take it from me. On any planet where the Krynoid gets established, all animal life is extinguished.
SARAH: There's no danger now, is there? I mean, we've got the second pod in the freezer, and Winlett
DOCTOR: Winlett?
SARAH: The Krynoid is very likely frozen stiff under the snow somewhere.
DOCTOR: I hope you're right.
SARAH: So do I.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KEELER: Good grief! Look at that mark, Scorby. What could have caused that? That's the man who
SCORBY: Yeah, I know.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: I'll be with you in a moment. I want to check something.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY (OOV.): In here, Doctor!
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Whatever you do, don't touch him. Don't touch him.
SCORBY: Get your hands up. Turn around, Doctor.
SCORBY: Facing this way.
DOCTOR: Have we annoyed you or something?
SCORBY: Shut up. Okay, start talking.
DOCTOR: Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart had perfect pitch.
SCORBY: What happened to him?
DOCTOR: Who, Wolfgang Amadeus? Oh, him. Oh, he died.
KEELER: How?
SCORBY: We gathered that.
DOCTOR: It happened because of a pod.
KEELER: The pod?
SCORBY: Look, Doctor, there's already one corpse in here. I can easily double that number.
SARAH: Look, he's telling you the
SCORBY: Stay where you are.
DOCTOR: There's been an accident. One of the men was infected.
KEELER: By the pod?
SARAH: He went mad.
DOCTOR: Yes, you could say he's not quite himself.
SCORBY: Where is he now?
SARAH: We don't know. Somewhere out there.
KEELER: Oh, you mean you have a homicidal maniac on the loose?
DOCTOR: Oh, much more dangerous than that, and he's desperate for food and warmth. There's only one place he can find food and warmth.
SCORBY: You mean this camp.
DOCTOR: It's a comforting thought, isn't it. I think we should lock all the doors and windows.
KEELER: What are we going to do, Scorby?
SCORBY: Easy. I think it's time we got some real answers. But not in here. Why don't we make ourselves a little more comfortable? Come on, move.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY: Okay, that'll do. Watch the door. Now then, Doctor, let's have the truth. Where's the plant that came out of the pod?
DOCTOR: That grew in the bed that was part of the garden close to the house that Jack
SARAH: Jack built.
SCORBY: I'm not a patient man, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Well, your candour does you credit. However, you're too late.
SCORBY: What do you mean?
DOCTOR: Odd things have been happening. Odd and dangerous. I don't thing you'd understand.
SCORBY: Try me.
DOCTOR: All right. At its simplest, the man who went mad is no longer a man in any sense you'd recognise.
KEELER: Well, if he's not a man, what is he?
DOCTOR: An alien lifeform.
SCORBY: I said I wanted some straight answers, Doctor.
STEVENSON (OOV.): Doctor?
KEELER: Scorby! Somebody's coming.
STEVENSON (OOV.): Doctor? Miss Smith? Where are you?
SCORBY: In here.
SCORBY: Come and join the party.
STEVENSON: Drop that gun. I said, drop that gun!
SCORBY: Not very friendly, are we.
STEVENSON: What's happening?
DOCTOR: For some reason, these two want to get their hands on the pod.
STEVENSON: (quietly) The pod's still safe? They haven't taken it out
SCORBY: What did you say? Taken it out? Taken it out of where?
KEELER: They've got a second pod.
SCORBY: Then we're not going back empty handed, are we? Where is it?
DOCTOR: Oh, don't be a bigger fool than you already are. Don't you understand anything? It's dangerous.
SCORBY: I asked you a question, Doctor. Where is the pod?
SCORBY: Where is it? Stubborn pair, aren't you.
SCORBY: This time I'm not joking.
DOCTOR: It's in the freezer.
SCORBY: That's better. You show me.
SCORBY: Okay, watch these two.
KEELER: No, no, no, I don't want it.
SCORBY: I said, watch them!
SCORBY: Come on, move.
DOCTOR: Don't worry, you're all right with us. We won't hurt you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY: Bring it here. Are there any more?
STEVENSON: No, this is unique now. Priceless, as you are no doubt aware.
SCORBY: So what's to stop this breaking open like the other one?
STEVENSON: It's quite safe at this temperature.
SCORBY: Well, it's going on a little journey. You must have something here to keep it cool.
STEVENSON: We have thermal containers.
SCORBY: Get one. There's something I don't quite understand. Where does the power come from to keep this place going?
STEVENSON: We have a new fuel cell system half a mile from here.
SCORBY: This alien creature could be hiding there.
STEVENSON: No, we checked that an hour ago.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: I'd give your arm a rest, if I were you.
SARAH: Yes, we're not likely to run away.
DOCTOR: You don't like violence, do you, Keeler? Not like your friend. What are you, a scientist? Botanist, perhaps. Is that it? Were you sent here to identify the pod? Surely you understand the implications of what I'm saying?
KEELER: We know what we're doing.
DOCTOR: I wish I could believe you.
KEELER: Shut up, shut up!
SARAH: You remember what happened to Winlett. Well, things are getting out of control and you don't know how to handle it. If you release us, then we can fight it together.
KEELER: Oh, for God's sake let's get out of here quickly before that monster thing comes back.
SCORBY: Stop panicking. Tie him up. Tim him up.
KEELER: Rope. Excuse me.
SCORBY: You can say your goodbyes now, Doctor.
KEELER: You're not going to shoot them in cold blood?
SCORBY: Why not? No, I've got a better idea. Come here, miss.
DOCTOR: Where are you taking her?
SCORBY: Sit down! Come on, move.
DOCTOR: Scorby! Scorby! Scorby!
[SCENE_BREAK]
SCORBY: Take us to the power plant.
SARAH: I don't know what you mean.
SCORBY: Come on, don't try to be funny. You checked it an hour ago. Now, come on, move.
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: It's hopeless.
DOCTOR: Nothing's hopeless. All we have to do is think.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KEELER: What's that thing, Scorby?
SCORBY: This power system provides energy for the whole camp. There are wires running from here to every building. So we don't need to dig a hole after all. We just obliterate them. A real fireworks display.
SARAH: That's murder. Cold-blooded murder.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Come on, quick, get over here. And keep still. I don't want to sever a blood vessel. Okay?
STEVENSON: Right.
[SCENE_BREAK]
KEELER: It is, it's murder. It is cold-blooded murder!
SCORBY: Look, you do exactly as you're told or you go up with it, Arnold.
SARAH: He doesn't have to kill us. You've got the pod.
SCORBY: There, that should do it. That bomb will set off a fault in the system that'll blow the whole camp to smithereens, leaving no trace whatsoever. It's ingenious, don't you think?
KEELER: No! No! I can't let you do it.
SCORBY: It's too lake, Keeler. I've started the countdown. Now, let's get out.
SCORBY: You shouldn't have long to wait. Ten minutes at the outside.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Contact the main base on the radio.
STEVENSON: Right.
DOCTOR: See if they can intercept that aeroplane.
STEVENSON: What about the Krynoid?
DOCTOR: We'll just have to take a chance on that.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Sarah!
[SCENE_BREAK]
STEVENSON: Hello, main base. Hello, main base. Can you hear me? Over.
[SCENE_BREAK]
SARAH: Doctor! Quick, quick.
DOCTOR: What's the hurry?
SARAH: There's a time bomb over there. We've only got seconds. Where's Stevenson?
DOCTOR: I'll have to try and warn him.
DOCTOR: There.
|
Plan: A: a killer; Q: What is the Krynoid? A: Krynoid; Q: What is the name of the creature that is on the loose? A: Sarah; Q: Who is the Doctor's companion? A: Chase's men; Q: Who is trying to obtain the second Krynoid pod? A: space; Q: What do Krynoid pods travel through? A: all possible witnesses; Q: What do Chase's men work to eliminate? Summary: With a killer Krynoid on the loose, the Doctor, Sarah and the last surviving member of the expedition concentrate on hunting it down, unmindful of Chase's men who, once they learn of the second Krynoid pod (which always travel through space in pairs), work to obtain it and eliminate all possible witnesses.
|
[Scene: The Bay Mirror. Phoebe's office. Phoebe's there working. She has the TV on and a psychic reading show is on. Her assistant walks in carrying a box of letters.]
Assistant: Hey, more Dear Phoebe letters, where do you want them?
Phoebe: Oh, you can just put them anywhere.
Assistant: Um, maybe we ought to keep some of these in storage.
Phoebe: No, I'll get to them.
Assistant: All of them?
Phoebe: Yes. I am on a role.
Assistant: More like on a mission.
(Phoebe hands her some sheets of paper.)
Phoebe: Hey, will you get these to Elise please and find out which one she wants to run?
Assistant: Yeah, sure, right away. You're amazing, you know that?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Assistant: What is your secret? Herbs? Acupuncture? (She sees the TV.) Tashmin?
Phoebe: Uh, I take it you don't believe in psychics.
Assistant: Hey, you know, if it works for you I'm all for it.
Phoebe: (to herself) It hasn't worked for me for a while. Um, you know how sometimes you just find yourself going through a really bad period in your life?
Assistant: Don't even get me started.
Phoebe: Well, let's just say I am finally coming out from underneath mine and nobody, nothing will ever bring me back to that place again.
Assistant: Good for you.
(Phoebe turns to her computer.)
Voice: Help me, Phoebe.
Phoebe: What did you just say?
Assistant: I didn't say that. (She points to the TV.) She did.
Tashmin: Help me, Phoebe.
(She looks at the TV in shock.)
[Cut to the manor. Road workers are working on the street right outside the manor. It is very noisy. Paige looks out the window from the living room.]
Paige: Did they say how much longer this was gonna go on for?
Piper: Three weeks, which means three months. (Leo is holding a picture frame on a wall.) A little higher.
Paige: We'd better hope no demons attack, that'd be a bust, especially if one of us goes flying out the window.
Leo: I wouldn't worry about that too much, there's so much chaos in the underworld they're too busy fighting each other.
Piper: Well, I hope it lasts. I almost forgot what it's like to lead a normal life. It's gotta go a little higher.
Leo: I need a ladder.
Paige: Leo, just hover.
Piper: No, no, no, I don't wanna jinx anything, I'd rather we not use magic unless we absolutely have to, thank you very much.
Paige: Come on, Piper, relax a little. Use it or lose it, lady.
(Leo hovers up and holds the picture against the wall.)
Piper: Fine.
(Leo marks the wall with a pencil and hovers back down.)
Paige: Ah, see, no major disaster struck.
(Phoebe walks in through the front door.)
Phoebe: We have a huge problem.
Piper: You were saying?
Phoebe: Cole tried contacting me again.
Leo: What, more whisperings?
Phoebe: No, this time he was channelling through a TV psychic while I was at work. He sounded so desperate.
Piper: Wait, did anybody else notice?
Phoebe: My highly suspicious assistant. How am I supposed to move on with my life when I keep being haunted by his afterlife?
Piper: Leo, what do you think?
Leo: I think you need to do something fast.
Piper: No, I mean, how is he holding on?
Leo: I don't know, I guess because he's half demon, it must be some kind of astral plane.
Phoebe: Well, whatever, we can't risk him contacting me again. I have to figure out a way to get to him and find out what he wants.
Paige: Honey, what he wants is you. I mean, why else would he be hanging on?
(Suddenly, everything freezes including Leo.)
Phoebe: Piper, why is Leo frozen?
(Piper goes over to him and waves in front of his face.)
Piper: Well, this is very strange.
(Paige looks out the window and all the work men are frozen too.)
Paige: Uh, guys, I think you oughta take a look at this. (Piper and Phoebe go to the window.) So much for not performing any magic, huh Piper.
Piper: Me? I didn't do that, I couldn't freeze all that stuff.
(An elderly man appears.)
Man: But I can.
(The girls spin around.)
Phoebe: Who are you?
Man: I'm the Angel Of Destiny, and I've come to change yours.
Opening Credits
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper, Phoebe and Paige are backing away from the Angel of Destiny. Piper is trying to freeze him.]
Paige: He's not freezing, why isn't he freezing?
Angel of Destiny: You're wasting your time. (The girls back into a table and fall on top of each other.) I am beyond your powers. (They get back up.) Besides, I pose no threat to you.
Piper: Well, forgive us for not believing that but the last being we met who could freeze time was a demon.
Angel of Destiny: Actually, it's because of a demon that I've come to see you. Which in and of itself is very rare. We Angels of Destiny normally don't intervene except in extraordinary situations. Mozart at age seven, Michelangelo, Albert Einstein... Britney Spears.
Paige: Huh?
Phoebe: I don't understand.
Angel of Destiny: You three have accomplished something that few others ever dream of. By vanquishing the Source of all evil, you have fulfilled your shared destiny, much earlier than anticipated. Truth be told, some of us did think you'd never achieve it at all, but that's really beside the point. What's important is you have and because of that we're offering you a reward, a chance to chart a new destiny, one of your own design.
Paige: A reward?
Angel of Destiny: You can continue to remain as you are, charmed, vested with all your witchly powers, and of course demonic burdens. Or...
Piper: Or?
Angel of Destiny: You can choose to relinquish your magic and lead normal lives again, unaccounted, free, we'd wipe the entire slate clean, nobody would come after you again. Well, what do you say?
Piper: What do we say? Are you kidding? You can't just freeze the whole world and come in here and drop a bombshell like that and expect a quick decision. I don't care who you are.
Angel of Destiny: I don't think you quite grasp the uniqueness of this opportunity.
Piper: No, I'm grasping it but that is beside the point. The least you could do is give us a little time to think about it.
Paige: Think about what? No time needed. Thanks but no thanks. Right?
Phoebe: Yeah, right, of course right. But, you know, as long as he's offering, maybe we should talk about this. Just talk about it. Over there. Right, right over here please, now, excuse us.
(She pulls them across the room.)
Paige: You can't be serious, Phoebe, you of all people, you love being a witch.
Phoebe: I know I do, but I...
Paige: But what? What has changed?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know, I became queen of the Underworld and nearly died carrying baby Lucifer. That's what changed, Paige.
Piper: Paige, it's just that we've been doing this a lot longer than you have, and I'm not trying to discount all the good that we've done or that we could do. But at the same time I'm not gonna minimise the costs. Paige, I can't get pregnant because of what we do.
Phoebe: Punching out demons just isn't as much fun as it used to be.
Paige: So what are you gonna say?
Angel of Destiny: She's saying you need some time, which I'll grant, but not too much time. After all, other people's destinies are tied to yours. And since it's your charmed destiny that's at stake here, majority will rule. Two sisters will decide the fate of all three. So consider your choice wisely. Perhaps what happens next will help you to decide.
(He disappears. Everything unfreezes and Piper's cell phone rings. Leo comes in.)
Leo: Hey, did you just freeze me?
Piper: No, dear, the Angel of Destiny did.
Leo: Who?
(Piper picks up her cell.)
Piper: Yeah, you'd better check with the Elders and make sure he's for real. I'm not kidding. (Leo orbs out. Piper answers her phone.) Hello?
Darryl: Don't talk just listen.
Piper: Darryl? What's wrong?
Darryl: Apparently you guys are about to be put under surveillance. (Piper motions for Phoebe and Paige to come over and listen.) An FBI agent named Jackman called me into his office today. He did a search on unsolved cases. Apparently your names came up on way too many witness lists.
Phoebe: What do you mean? What does he know?
Darryl: I don't know, but I'm gonna try find out. In the meantime just lay low and whatever you do don't use any magic.
(They hang up.)
Paige: So are we screwed?
Piper: Maybe, but that would take destiny out of our hands and I don't think that's what the angel meant.
Phoebe: Okay, icksnay on the angelnay talk.
(They head for the stairs.)
[Cut to outside. A SFB Telecom van pulls up across the road. A guy gets out and gets in the back where surveillance equipment is set up. He puts on some earphones and a shot of outside the manor shows up on a screen. The girls' voices are heard in his earphones.]
Paige's Voice: I still don't understand how coming up here is gonna help.
Phoebe's Voice: Actually it's pretty simple. (Loud music blares through the earphones and he quickly turns down the earphone volume.)
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe sits the CD player next to the window.]
Phoebe: So you guys have been home all day, right?
Piper: Yeah, so?
Phoebe: So there's no way he would've had time to bug the inside of the house, he's gotta be listening from the outside.
(Phoebe walks over to the Book of Shadows.)
Piper: Is it ironic that here we are presented with the opportunity to give up our powers and now we suddenly can't even use them.
Phoebe: Except not using our powers doesn't necessarily mean that we won't be exposed. We still have Cole to worry about.
Paige: Phoebe, you can't make contact to a dead demon husband.
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I don't he will, and then what? The FBI is outside and if they find out about us it's gonna be the same thing as last year and we don't want that now do we? (She turns to the "To Find a Lost Love" spell in the BOS.) So I'm gonna cast the "To Find a Lost Love" spell. I mean, if Cole's soul is on some astral plane, it should astral me there, right?
Paige: Are you sure he even has a soul?
Phoebe: Well, what else would be calling out to me? Cole needs closure and so do I.
Piper: We will create a distraction outside in case your spell inside creates any fireworks.
Paige: Be careful.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Living room. Piper is looking out the window. Paige walks in carrying a tray of lemonade.]
Paige: Unless we spike the lemonade, I doubt they'll...
Piper: Shh! That phone company van looks suspicious.
Paige: Why?
Piper: Well, because it wasn't there earlier, and besides he didn't put out any cones.
Paige: That's what you're basing it on?
Piper: Well, it's the best that I got, okay, now are you ready?
Paige: Why don't you just (she wiggles her fingers) to the street?
Piper: Because what is somebody drives around the corner? Now you just need to use some of your god given magic. (She undoes the top button on Paige's dress.) Okay? Go.
[Cut to outside. Paige walks down the stairs carrying the tray of lemonade. The men workers turn and stare at her. One worker whistles.]
Paige: (in a sexy voice) Anyone feel like a little cool down? (All the men rush over and take a glass.) Easy, boys, there's enough for everyone.
(Piper walks onto the road and smiles at Paige. She then goes over to the van and opens the door. She quickly freezes the guy inside and closes the door. She signals Phoebe who's looking out the attic window and turns off the music.)
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe goes and sits in a circle on the floor which has five lit candles around it. She reads a spell from the Book of Shadows.]
Phoebe: "Writher my love, wherever you be, through time and space, take my heart near to thee."
(She collapses on the floor.)
[Cut to an astral plane. It looks like hell with fire, jagged rocks, dark sky, and loud scary noises. Phoebe appears and bumps into Cole.]
Phoebe: Cole.
(He grabs her.)
Cole: What are you doing here? Nobody's allowed to be here.
Phoebe: Here, where is here?
(They hear a loud growl.)
Cole: We've gotta move fast. Come on. (They climb up a rock. A snake-like creature pokes out of the ground and snaps at Phoebe's feet. It misses and goes back underground.) We'll be safe here but not for long. We have to keep moving, the beast will devour us both, for eternity. (Phoebe hugs him.) I knew you'd hear my cries.
Phoebe: Uh, Cole...
Cole: It's alright, you did the right thing. The Source is gone, devoured. This is the waste land where all vanquished demons end up. The beast feeds on their essence, their powers.
Phoebe: So what are you doing here?
Cole: Holding onto our love. I'm a demon with a soul, Phoebe. It's rather unique to the cosmos, that's why my soul's been able to cling here, keep from moving on.
Phoebe: Oh, but that's not healthy. Everyone has to move on, you know, sooner or later.
Cole: Yeah, well, that's easy for you to say, you'll get to go to the good place, me... (They hear a scream and a demon falls out of the sky. He is zapped and his powers hit the ground. Blue lights swirl around.) Over here, come on.
(They jump onto another rock. The snake creature pokes out of the ground and sucks up the blue light. It goes back underground.)
Phoebe: Okay, you know, you can't keep running from that thing forever.
Cole: That's why I've been calling you. You can help save me, save us.
Phoebe: How?
Cole: Get Leo to get the Grimoire, that resurrection spell that the wizard was after, you can use that to resurrect me.
Phoebe: What?
Cole: It's easy, I'll work you through it. All you have to do is... (Phoebe turns her back.) What's the matter?
Phoebe: I, uh, I can't use dark magic again, I won't.
Cole: Not even for us? (Suddenly, the creature pokes out of the rock and grabs Phoebe by the leg.) Phoebe!
(He grabs onto her arms.)
Phoebe: Help me! Use your powers!
Cole: I don't have any powers.
(A second creature pokes out of the ground and grabs Phoebe around the waist. She screams.)
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe, who is still on the floor, screams. Piper and Paige run in.]
Piper: Phoebe.
(She screams again.)
[Cut to the van outside. The guy is unfrozen. He throws off his earphones when Phoebe screams.]
[Cut to the attic.]
Paige: Something's hurting her.
Piper: Something is killing her. (She looks in the Book of Shadows.) Here reversal spell.
Piper, Paige: "Return thy love, wherever she be, through time and space, bring her back to me."
[Cut to the astral plane. Phoebe disappears and the creatures go back underground.]
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe returns to her body. She sits up with a jolt and gasps.]
Piper: Okay, you're okay.
Phoebe: Oh my god, what was I thinking?
(Someone knocks on the front door and rings the doorbell.)
Paige: Uh-oh, I hope the freeze didn't wear off.
[Cut to the foyer. Piper, Phoebe and Paige walk in. Piper opens the door.]
Guy: Agent Jackman, FBI. (Holds up his badge.) We should talk.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Dining room. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and Jackman are there. He puts a thick folder on the table and slides it over to the girls.]
Jackman: In case you're wondering, that's just a copy.
(They look in it to find photos of themselves being spied on.)
Phoebe: Pursued to agenda trust, Agent Jackman.
Jackman: If I wanted to expose you, I could've done that six months ago when that file first crossed my desk.
Paige: Expose us as what?
Jackman: Witches. It's the only logical explanation for all the unsolved cases, the missing persons, the mysterious deaths.
Piper: Prove it.
(He gets out a tape recorder and presses play.)
Paige: (on tape) Something is hurting her.
Piper: (on tape) Something is killing her. Here, reversal spell.
Piper, Paige: (on tape) "Return thy love wherever she be, through time and space, bring her back to me."
(He stops the tape.)
Piper: That doesn't prove anything.
Jackman: No, but it implies everything, especially when coupled with that file. You think your newspaper wouldn't run that story?
Phoebe: What do you want?
Jackman: Believe it or not, your help. See, I specialise in occult style slayings, that's why I was watching you in hopes of catching a serial killer. A witch hunter.
Piper: Alright, I've heard enough of this nonsense.
(Piper tries to freeze Jackman but he doesn't.)
Paige: Uh, wait a second, he froze before.
(Jackman pulls out an amulet out of his shirt which is hanging around his neck.)
Jackman: This time I was prepared. Like I said, I specialise in this stuff. There's supposed to only be a few of these amulets left in the world. Got this one off the witch hunter we're after. (He tucks it back under his shirt. He hands the girls a photo of the witch hunter.) Her name is Selena. I traced her genealogy all the way back to the witch trials. I think killing you people's in her blood, it's what she lives for. I mean, why else would she had burned her last three victims at the stake.
Piper: Why are you telling us this?
Jackman: Well, because I thought you were gonna be her next victims, but now that I know who you really are and what you can do, I need you to help me find her before she kills again.
Phoebe: Do you have any idea where she is?
Jackman: I did for a while, I had her in custody once but she got away. (He puts a plastic bag of stuff on the table.) These are some of Selena's personal belongings and from what I know, if you use your powers on them you might be able to find her. Now you do that, I'll make sure those files disappear forever. You don't, (he pulls out his card) well, you figure it out. (He grabs his bag.) Call me.
(He leaves.)
Paige: I don't trust him.
Piper: Gee, you think?
Phoebe: Maybe we should take the Angel of Destiny up on his offer.
Paige: Great, so we'd be free and so would Selena, who for all we know could be a warlock.
Phoebe: No, warlocks don't burn witches at the stake, they just steal their powers.
Paige: Exactly. Powers, Phoebe, the very things we were given to do good with, remember?
Phoebe: Huh, yeah, Paige, I remember.
Piper: Guys.
Paige: Do you really or has all that dark magic just kinda gotten into your brain.
Piper: Guys.
Paige: I can't believe you're so willing to just throw away our powers.
Phoebe: Paige, you don't know the hell that I've been through. You didn't live it.
Paige: Oh, really? I was just turned into a vampire and then I was shrunk and then we switched bodies and...
Phoebe: Okay, imagine going through that for years. All I'm asking is for my life back.
Piper: Okay, guys, enough, we need to focus.
Paige: What about you, Piper? What do you think?
Piper: I think we need to see this through like the angel suggested. So Paige, you are gonna go up to the attic and get started on this stuff. (She hands Paige Selena's stuff.) We will meet you there. Scoot. (Paige goes upstairs.) Leo! You can orb it's alright.
(Leo orbs in.)
Leo: What about the FBI agent?
Piper: Uh, he already busted us. But supposedly all he wants is our help.
Phoebe: Did you find anything out about the Angel of Destiny?
Leo: He's legit and so is his offer.
Piper: Okay, um, can you do us a favour and go get Darryl and make sure that agent Jackman is legit too. And meanwhile, we have a witch hunter to find. Don't ask, just go. (Leo orbs out. Phoebe moans.) Having a crappy day?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Piper: Cole?
Phoebe: Yeah.
[Scene: Astral plane. Cole is running from the creature. He climbs up a large rock. The creature disappears. A demon falls from the sky and disintegrates. His powers fall to the ground and swirl around in a pile. Cole sees the creature near by and he jumps off the rock.]
Cole: You don't want his powers, you want me. (The creature heads for Cole.) Here I am, come and get me! Come on, hurry up, end it! (He steps forward and stands on the swirl of powers. He absorbs it. The creature goes for Cole and he puts his hands up, zapping the creature. Another demon falls from the sky and disintegrates. His power falls to the ground.) This could be good.
[Scene: Manor. Attic. Piper and Paige are there. Piper is reading from the Book of Shadows while Paige makes a potion.]
Piper: Before the flame subsides, let the wax from the candle drip onto the crystal. Once consecrated scry with the crystal for the one who is sought.
(Paige drips a candle into a pot and it explodes.)
Paige: Ain't magic grand.
(Phoebe walks in, talking on the phone.)
Phoebe: Okay, bye. (She hangs up.) That was Morris. He confirmed that there is a serial killer on the loose doing exactly what Jackman said.
Paige: We're all over it.
(Paige starts scrying on a map.)
Phoebe: He also said that Jackman has more information on us than he shared, including our genealogy. Dating all the way back to Melinda Warren.
Paige: Well, what does that mean?
Phoebe: They're gonna keep checking.
Piper: It means he's going through an awful lot of trouble to get as much information on us as possible. I got a bad feeling he's not gonna let us off the hook so easily after this is all over.
Paige: What, he's just gonna keep using us afterwards?
Phoebe: Great, Charlie's freakin' angels. This just keeps getting better and better.
(The crystal points to a spot on the map.)
Paige: Got Selena. Do we still go after her?
Piper: Well, we don't have a choice. We can't let her run around burning people at the stake.
[Cut to Selena's house. Paige orbs in a room with Piper and Phoebe. Piper opens a door slightly and peeks through it. She sees Selena and some men in the next room.]
Piper: (whispers) She has body guards. Lots of body guards.
Phoebe: I wonder why Jackman didn't tell us about them?
Paige: Probably figured we wouldn't help if we knew.
(A bodyguard walks in through a different door and shoots his gun at Paige. Piper freezes the bullet in mid-air.)
Piper: Paige. (She knocks the bullet out of the air.) Did you not have the sense to sense if anybody else was in the room before you orbed us in here?
(Another bodyguard comes in through the other door and shoots. Paige gets a fright and orbs out. Phoebe grabs the bodyguard and pushes him against a cabinet.)
[Cut to the other room. Selena is there heading for the door. Paige orbs in front of her.]
Paige: Going somewhere? (Selena takes a swing at Paige but misses. Paige hits Selena and knocks her unconscious. Piper and Phoebe race in.) We're gonna need some serious memory dust after all this is over.
Piper: Yeah, well, we've gotta get out of here.
(Phoebe sees Cole in the corner of the room.)
Cole: Phoebe.
Phoebe: Cole. (He disappears. Piper turns to look.) I swear he was just there.
(A bodyguard runs in and shoots. Piper freezes him.)
Piper: Time to go. Orb! Orb! Orb!
(They all orb out.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Manor. Someone knocks on the door. Piper answers it and Jackman walks in.]
Jackman: Where is she?
Piper: In there. (Jackman pulls out his gun.) Whoa! Whoa! You don't need that, she's unconscious.
(He puts it away and they go into the living room where Selena is unconscious on the couch.)
Jackman: Did she put up much of a fight?
Phoebe: No, but her bodyguards did.
Jackman: Bodyguards? She had bodyguards?
Piper: Yeah, lots of them with lots of guns and they weren't shy about using them either.
Jackman: Oh, must have known we were closing in on her.
Paige: Still, don't you think it's odd that a serial killer has hired guns protecting her?
Jackman: Well, maybe she's not working alone.
Phoebe: Or maybe you're just not telling us everything.
Jackman: Maybe I'm not. What are you gonna do about it?
Piper: Well, for one thing, we're not gonna let you take her without a warrant.
Jackman: You know, you're all the same. You think that just because you have gifts, powers, that you're above it all, you're special. Well I'm no different.
Phoebe: Oh really?
Jackman: Yeah. Your arrogance is your Achilles heal, that's why witch hunters and demons are always after you and they always will be. I wouldn't trade places with you for the world. Oh, ah, (he pulls out some paper) he's your warrant.
Paige: So when do we get our files?
Jackman: When she's in jail and I feel I'm safe.
Phoebe: Safe from what?
Jackman: Safe from you. (He picks up Selena.) I don't wanna be another one of those people who mysteriously disappear around here.
(He leaves.)
Piper: I knew he'd never give up those files. In case anybody is wondering we are officially screwed.
Phoebe: Not necessarily.
Paige: No, we are not giving up our powers.
(She storms over to the couch and sits down.)
Phoebe: Paige, I don't wanna give up our powers either. But I don't wanna give up our lives even more. He's just gonna keep using us.
Piper: Unless we let the angel wipe the slate clean. Look, Paige, we said we would wait to decide until this thing played out and it has. And frankly if the angel hadn't made this offer I'd probably think differently and I'd think let's just keep fighting. But I'm tired of fighting and Jackman's right, it is never ending.
Phoebe: Unless we end it ourselves. So do we need to talk to Leo about this first?
Piper: No, it doesn't have anything to do with him, it's just us. And he will understand.
Paige: You guys are only seeing the bad. What about all the wonder of being witches, the stuff you introduced me to in the first place. You're gonna let all that go?
Phoebe: Paige, it doesn't balance out anymore. And after everything that we've lost, it doesn't seem worth it.
Paige: What about all the good we've done. Doesn't that count for anything?
Piper: Of course it does but that's exactly why we have this choice to make. He said we fulfilled our destiny, we've done it. This is supposed to be our reward for that.
Paige: Yeah, well, pardon me if it didn't seem like much of a reward, because without being witches I wouldn't have sisters.
[Timelapse. Attic. Piper, Phoebe, Paige and the Angel of Destiny are there.]
Angel of Destiny: Are you sure about this?
Phoebe: Yeah. As sure as we're ever gonna be.
Angel of Destiny: You understand this decision is final. There'll be no changing your minds.
Piper: We understand.
Angel of Destiny: Very well.
(He closes his eyes and raises his arms.)
Piper: Hold it. Just so we're clear this wipes the entire slate clean. No read the find print technicalities, no more demons, no more vengeful warlocks.
Phoebe: And we won't have to worry about Agent Jackman anymore, or anyone else who might have found out we were witches?
Piper: Exactly. Just free to lead normal lives with no demonic aftertaste.
Angel of Destiny: Absolutely.
Paige: Will we remember? Being witches that is.
Angel of Destiny: Oh, you'll remember everything. It doesn't change your history, only your future.
Paige: And what about the book?
Angel of Destiny: It'll pass as some future descendent.
Phoebe: What about Cole? Will he keep trying to make contact with me?
Angel of Destiny: I don't know, I have no control over that. He exists beyond time and space, outside destiny's reach.
Piper: What is it?
Phoebe: It's just that he's still holding on, that's why he appeared to me. So maybe if I can tell him that I don't have the power to save him, then he'll be able to move on for good.
Paige: I don't think that's such a good idea considering what happened last time.
Phoebe: I can't leave it like this. I owe him more than that.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: Astral plane. Cole is standing on a rock. Phoebe astral projects in.]
Phoebe: Cole. (She climbs onto the rock.) I have to talk to you but I don't have a lot of time.
Cole: Did you see me come to you?
Phoebe: Yes, I did. How did you do that?
Cole: It's a secret.
Phoebe: I'm giving up my powers, we all are.
Cole: What?
Phoebe: I don't have time to explain but it's true, which means...
Cole: I know what it means.
Phoebe: Cole, we did the best we could. We tried every way possible to make this work but it wasn't meant to be. And it wasn't because we didn't love each other, it's just love wasn't enough, so now we have to move on, okay, the both of us.
Cole: You'd better go before the beast attacks.
(She astral projects out. Cole looks down at the dead creature.)
[Cut to the attic. Phoebe astral projects back in her body and gasps.]
Piper: Are you okay?
Phoebe: Yeah, lets do this.
Piper: Uh, well, we've been thinking a little bit.
Phoebe: Are you having second thoughts?
Paige: Not about the decision unfortunately.
Piper: About Jackman and Selena.
Paige: Yeah, a lot of things don't add up. His extensive knowledge of witches, how he got a hold of that amulet.
Piper: The fact that he came in alone to pick up Selena.
Paige: The bodyguards.
Piper: We just wanna make sure we've done the right thing before it's too late to do anything about it.
Phoebe: Okay. (to the Angel of Destiny) Is that okay?
Angel of Destiny: Hm? Oh, sure, absolutely. Frankly, I thought you were being a bit premature anyway.
Piper: Well, then why didn't you say something?
Angel of Destiny: Oh, can't, free will and all. Let me know when you're ready.
(He disappears.)
Paige: So now what?
Piper: Leo!
(Leo orbs in with Darryl.)
Leo: We were just coming to get you.
Piper: Why? What did you find?
Leo: Another genealogy Jackman has besides yours.
Paige: Oh, yeah, we know Selena's a descendent of witch hunters.
Darryl: No, Jackman is. Selena is a daughter of a witch.
Piper: What?
Darryl: She is not a suspect, she's a victim. They have her in a safe house because somebody's trying to kill her.
Paige: Please tell me we didn't just help a witch hunter get a witch.
Piper: Oh my god.
Phoebe: Oh my god.
[Scene: A park somewhere. Jackman has Selena tied to a stake. He lights the wood surrounding her feet.]
Selena: Somebody please help me!
Jackman: No one can hear you, not where we are.
Selena: Please don't. No. (She starts to cry.)
Jackman: Oh, but I must. You see it is my duty, what I was born to do. It is what I'll continue to do until every last one of you is dead.
Selena: Help!
Jackman: You're not gonna get away from me this time, witch.
Selena: Help!
[SCENE_BREAK]
[Scene: The park. Continued from before.]
Selena: You're making a mistake, I swear I'm not a witch.
Jackman: Of course you are, Selena, it's in your blood. Your mother was, that makes you one too.
Selena: I'm begging you.
Jackman: You know why they burned witches at the stake four hundred years ago? So they would burn forever in eternal fire. They used green wood too made it last longer, prolong the agony.
Selena: Help!
(Paige orbs in with Piper and Phoebe.)
Jackman: Come to save your sister witch have you?
Piper: Actually, yeah.
(She tries to freeze the fire but nothing happens.)
Jackman: You see, I buried the rest of the amulets around here in anticipation of your arrival. Your powers are useless here. However... (He pulls out a gun and grabs Phoebe.) Mine aren't. Move and she dies.
Phoebe: It was his plan all alone. He's gonna kill us anyway. Ouch!
Jackman: Hey, how's it feel to be powerless, huh? Mortal. You're a discourage from mankind, a blasphemy. Burning will be your justice too.
(Phoebe hits Jackman and knocks him to the ground.)
Phoebe: (to Piper and Paige) Get Selena.
(Piper and Paige race over and try to put the fire out while Phoebe fights with Jackman. Selena's pants catch on fire.)
Paige: Piper, her leg. What are you doing? (Piper jumps onto the wood and knocks over the post Selena is tied to.) Piper!
(Jackman points his gun at Phoebe.)
Jackman: Saving her life just cost you yours.
(Cole appears behind Phoebe. Jackman shoots his gun and the bullet heads for Phoebe. Cole waves his hand and Phoebe and Jackman swap places. The bullet hits Jackman. Phoebe sees Cole.)
Phoebe: Cole.
Cole: I couldn't very well let you die now could I?
Phoebe: I don't understand. How are you...?
Cole: Here? Let's just say I picked up a few powers lately, quite a few actually. (He starts to leave but stops.) I'm not giving up on us, Phoebe. Ever.
(He disappears. Selena coughs.)
Piper: Paige, you've gotta go get the ambulance.
Paige: You'll be okay.
(She races off.)
[Scene: Manor. Foyer. Leo is there, pacing. Piper and Phoebe walk in through the front door.]
Leo: Where's Paige?
Piper: Oh, she had to park down the street because the driveway was blocked.
Leo: Well, that's ridiculous, I'll go talk to them and tell them to move.
Phoebe: Oh, no, it's not a big deal.
Piper: And to think twenty-four hours ago that was our biggest problem.
Leo: How'd it go?
Piper: Uh, well, it looks like we got away with everything so far.
Phoebe: Thanks to Selena testifying for us.
Leo: What about how Agent Jackman died?
Piper: They're stumped. They can't figure out how he shot himself from twenty feet away.
Phoebe: What are they gonna do, subpoena Cole?
Leo: You guys stopped one of their own from killing again, I think they'd be grateful.
Piper: Yeah, one would hope. At least until they find those files on us.
Leo: They won't. I sorta orbed them into a volcano.
Phoebe: You what?
Piper: Uh, excuse me, are you allowed to do that?
Leo: Well, my job is to protect my charges and that's all I did.
(Piper kisses him.)
Piper: Thanks. Maybe sometime soon you won't have to protect your charges. Are you okay with that?
Leo: Whatever you guys decide I'll support. I mean that.
(The front door opens and Paige walks in. Suddenly, Leo and everything else freezes.)
Piper: Uh-oh.
Paige: The door's stuck. (The Angel of Destiny appears.) Oh, you.
(She walks over to Piper and Phoebe.)
Angel of Destiny: Well, still ready to retire?
Phoebe: Actually, I don't think so anymore. We saved someone and it felt good, it felt right. Besides, I got a little taste of what life would be like without my powers and I didn't like it at all.
Angel of Destiny: (to Piper) What about you?
Piper: Majority rules, right? Might as well make it unanimous. What can I say, we're masochists.
Paige: We are?
Piper: Yeah, sometimes. But Phoebe's right, this isn't a choice we have to make, it's who we are.
Angel of Destiny: You realise you won't get this opportunity again.
Phoebe: We understand.
Angel of Destiny: Very well. (He starts to leave but stops.) By the way, thought you'd like to know, neither decision would've affected yours and Leo's personal destiny.
Piper: What?
Angel of Destiny: You'll find out soon.
(He glances down at Piper's stomach.)
Phoebe: Oh my god.
Piper: What?
Phoebe: Don't you get it?
Piper: What?
Phoebe: (to Paige) Don't you get it? (excitedly) She's pregnant!
Piper: Who's pregnant? I'm pregnant?
(Phoebe and Paige scream in excitement and hug Piper.)
Phoebe: (to Piper's tummy) Hi baby.
(They giggle. The Angel of Destiny smiles and disappears out the front door.)
|
Plan: A: the defeat; Q: What happens to the Source? A: Phoebe; Q: Who is Cole trying to reach out to? A: a tempting reward; Q: What does the Angel of Destiny offer the sisters? A: the Charmed Ones; Q: What are the sisters known as? A: their powers; Q: What are the sisters asked to give up? A: normal lives; Q: What do the sisters have the option of living? A: hold; Q: What is the decision of the sisters put on? A: the FBI; Q: Who is investigating the sisters? A: Piper and Leo; Q: Who gets some miraculous news? Summary: Following the defeat of the Source, Piper, Phoebe, and Paige are visited by the Angel of Destiny with a tempting reward: continue their lives as the Charmed Ones or relinquish their powers and live normal lives. Their decision however, is put on hold when the sisters discover that they're being investigated by the FBI because of their involvement with a large number of unsolved cases. Meanwhile, Cole is trying to reach out to Phoebe. Later, after the sisters make their decision, Piper and Leo get some miraculous news.
|
Marshall: Oh my God, guys, I still have a hangover. Did I really ruin a marriage?
Ted: No, you did not ruin a marriage. Only reception.
Robin: And Miztva Bar next door.
Lily: And my dress. And your dress. You put a dress at one point.
Marshall: Ok, you know what, it's good. I'll be a father, and I want to be the kind of man that my child can watch. Therefore, new resolution... I will never drunk! I'm serious!
Ted (2030): Children, this is not your Uncle Marshall was a problem with the drink. But every time he was a good resolution, we knew about that... Flashback The day before, Marshall returned to the apartment, drunk.
Marshall: I've done it again!
Ted (2030): But I lost a bit in the story. End flashback Barney joined the others on crutches.
Lily: What happened to your leg?
Barney: Oh, nothing. I must have coffee with Nora. She is still angry, so I need some "sympathy points". She loves musicals, so I'll tell him that I fell off stage during a performance of "Man of La Mancha." What do you think?
Ted: Lose the cast.
Barney: A one-man show... I love it!
Lily: Let us be clear... this woman is angry against you because you lied to him. So your solution is to claim that you broke your leg?
Barney: You're right. A cervical neck brace! Thank you, Lil. I should have to talk to you soon. I trained all day with these crutches and one who has left in my hall is likely to need it.
Ted: Well, I have good news. As you know, I recently decided to start out and see the girls. Flashback Ted is at the newsstand and a woman reads the magazine in which it appears.
Woman: Is this you?
Ted: Uh, yes. Salvation. I'm Ted.
Woman: Hi. End flashback
Lily: That's great, Ted.
Ted: It was a completely random moment. The kind that you can create yourself... At least I thought. Flashback Ted behind her magazine down and when a woman arrives.
Ted: Oh, no. How have I landed on it? Salvation. Ted Mosby. (With another woman) I plead guilty. Salvation. Ted Mosby. (And another) It's embarrassing. I will be on the cover of "An egg on my face" magazine. But I'm not. I'm on the cover of that one. Salvation. Ted Mosby. End flashback
Ted: completely random 16 times in one day, and 16 of these, 10 were single. Of these 10, seven have loved what they saw. Of these seven, four were women. And these four, two have given me their real number. And I go with both. Marshall's phone rings.
Marshall: Guys, this is Garrison Cootes.
Ted (2030): Children, Garrison Cootes was a major partner of Honeywell & Cootes. One of the largest environmental law firms in the United States.Marshall would have given anything to work there.
Marshall: If I did not work, I could finish... in kind, a Taco Belle somewhere. And nobody wants that. Unless you want to do this, like this you would have free tacos, since you are my friends. But now I need you all calmiez! (He finally won) Hello.
Garrison: Marshall, it's Garrison Cootes. Sorry for not having reminded you earlier but I was stuck. What's funny, because I'm literally stuck in a swamp. Well, anyway, here I am trying to collect some samples for this trial on the pollution that we are working.
Marshall: I love the work you do.
Garrison: It's a...
Marshall: No, I mean it.
Garrison: No, no, there is a crocodile a few meters from me. So I'll just ignore the warm urine running down my leg right now, and tell you that we are very interested in your case.
Marshall: He's interested!
Garrison: Obviously, we need to do some sort of verification purpose, you see, an investigation of crime and a Google search, but if nothing seems wrong to us, it takes you.
Marshall: It's fantastic, Mr Cootes!
Garrison: Well, I'm going. It's very funny because in fact I really have run away.
Marshall: The crocodile you saw?
Garrison: He is coming, yes.
GENERIC
Ted (2030): The next night, Barney and Nora saw each other for a coffee.Fortunately, without the neck brace ridiculous.
Barney: Hi Nora, thank you for coming.
Nora: What happened to your neck?
Barney: My naked...? Oh, that's nothing. I was playing in a One Man Show at Fiddler. There was this scene...
Nora: Wow, this one has a beautiful chest.
Barney, turning: What? Where? Oh, and sh1t.
Nora: Breasts...
Barney: Wait, Nora, waiting... No, please. I'm sorry.
Nora: What is wrong with you? What kind of people need to lie like that?
Barney: Someone who likes you, really. And suspicious, and probably accurately you do it over more later, and therefore he feels the need... I'm sorry, you spoke of this fantastic pair of tits, right? Because I seek, and I do not see them.
Ted returned to his apartment.
Ted: I just had two rencards following. With two adorable girls, four cappuccinos and wait... (2 minutes later...) I do not know which was the best. Here are the girls: Jessica is a student in Rhode Island, she traveled around the world, speaks four languages and plays the piano. Claire and fought for the bill. So I do not know. It is torture. You see, the two girls have the potential to be really special. They both deserve a second round.
Lily: Wait a minute. You're going to handle two girls at once? You do not think you should pick one before it gets too serious?
Ted: Define "serious".
Lily: Well, it's complicated. I think it would be when you have expectations, emotional involvement...
Marshall: Third base. Seriously, third base.
Ted: So I can go to the second two with no problem?
Marshall: Treat yourself my friend. Treat yourself. Oh no.
Ted (2030): Since Mr. Cootes had mentioned the investigation, Marshall ran through internet. The majority of what he found was touching, seeing truly extraordinary, until...
Marshall: Poor. This is very bad.
Girl: Thank you, Stacy. Wesleyan has a cafeteria. Thank you to the generous donation of... Marshall arrives on camera, naked.
Marshall: Oh! Oh! Someone there mentioned generous donation? I'm Marshall Eriksen. But you can call me Biercules!
Lily: Well, it could be anyone. And thin, I had forgotten this story Biercules.Who made this site first?
Marshall: Pete Durkenson.
Ted: Of course.
Robin: This is the guy who convinced you to run around campus naked?
Marshall: I wanted to join a club that I left three days later, because the clubs are stupid and elitist. And I also discovered that it was not a club.
Ted: Oh my God. This is huge! I am invited to the Ball of Architects, the annual gala honoring the greatest architects of the city. Oh no. You guys see the problem?
Robin: This is an annual gala that honors the greatest architects of the city?
Ted: Robin, this is the biggest celebrity event of the year. In taking a girl at the ball, man, you reached third base. Whatever the girl I invite, it will be the steady girlfriend of Ted Mosby by the end of the evening. Ok, we stop to sit between two chairs. Robin, bring me my notebook. It's time to make lists of pros and cons.
Ted (2030): And the children they loved.
Nora: Let me clarify something for you. I do not date guys who lie to me.
Barney: Okay, I did not know. Mea culpa. So, from now, more lies. I never lie to you. I'm serious. Ask me anything.
Nora: OK Have you ever managed to get in bed with a woman that you lied?
Barney: Have I ever... If I'm totally honest... Yes.
Nora: More than once?
Barney: More than once... Wow, this is... I guess if we... so, technically, there were a number of times I've lied to a woman to sleep with her.
Nora: They were worth what?
Barney: Nine or ten for most. There has been a 4 once. It was an easy girl.But, Nora, after that, I had to flee so fast. Honesty is good.
Nora: What was the lie?
Barney: You want me to tell all the lies I have told to put a woman in my bed?
Nora: A bed or any other place where you're sent into the air.
Barney: You are good. Marshall goes to meet Pete.
Marshall: Pete, Pete. Hey!
Pete: Biercules! Come here, man.
Marshall: Hey, I tried to call you all night.
Pete: My God, sorry. I should have responded but it was Thursday night.
Marshall: It is Sunday.
Pete: And you know what that means. "Edward bottles with money"!
Ted (2030): Children, Edward bottles for money is a game that involves taping two bottles of liquor at the base of the hands. The goal is to finish the two bottles. Oh my God, why am I telling you this? Good move.
Marshall: Ok, you know this old video of me?
Pete: I watch it every day.
Marshall: You have to take away the internet. Genre immediately.
Pete: There are two ways for me to do it: Either you give me $ 4 million, or help me to go to the bathroom because I can not...
Marshall: Yes, both are non-negotiable refusal.
Pete: So, I'm sorry we could not handle together. But if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of the game "to Edward bottles of money," and the competition is raised.
Marshall: Who are you playing anyway?
Pete: Just myself.
Ted (2030): Meanwhile, Barney continued to list every lie he used to sleep.
Barney: I do not have time to explain how I got there. I just need someone to suck the poison. The surgeon gave me a new face, darling. You realize that I am alive? My name is David Beckham. If I castais only the white swan, is the role for you. No, I am a lesbian. What I wear is just very realistic.
Nora: Ok, let's move. What was the worst? The best of the worst? The cream of the crop?
Barney: Oh, once I am the soul man. There was this pretty girl who only go out with black.
Woman: Barney! Oh no, I knew it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ted, Lily and Robin are in the apartment.
Ted: I can not choose. They are both extraordinary.
Robin: If architects had only two bullets, eh Ted?
Lily: I knew it. Ted, left or right?
Ted: Yes, yes, good idea. Let fate decide? I will choose the left.
Lily, slapping him: Just called one of the two.
Robin: Ted, to your heart, you know that you love one more than the other.Believe me, takes the other.
Ted: Uh, I have perhaps not been clear is the... Robin Ball Architects.This event is a very hip.
Robin: Ok, name one celebrity who will be there.
Ted: Lenny Kravitz.
Robin: Lenny Kravitz will be there?
Ted: Yes. He is there every year. And it's a rock star.
Robin: You know, Ted, in hindsight, it is too early to choose between these two girls. Takes a friend. Like, I dunno, maybe a friend who has a poster of Lenny Kravitz on his wall, and may or may not have dated this post and transported from his high school...
Ted: This list of pros and cons leads to nothing. I need a color scale.
Lily and Robin: Scale of colors!
Ted (2030): And the children, we really sang.
Marshall: Pete, please. I am unemployed. I have a huge mortgage. A baby arriving. And I'm about to lose a job that I really need because of a drunken video of 15 years ago.
Pete: Ugh, you mean? Biercules, what's going on? Looks like you're another person. The guy in this video was cool. It had potential. It could have been president of a club one day.
Marshall: There is no club.
Pete: There he is just a troublemaker.
Marshall: It's not that I want to be a troublemaker. Fair, I must be one. I'll be a dad. You have children one day, you will understand.
Pete: Dude, I have 4 children.
Marshall: Pete, please, remove the video.
Pete: Ok, Biercules, I will remove it. If... you can beat me to the game of my choice.
Marshall: Oh no.
Pete: And I choose the beautiful game, the sweet science...
Marshall: Pete, please, I'm tired...
Pete: The sport of kings...
Marshall: I do not want to play Edward bottles money.
Pete: I was going to the darts, but it's Edward bottles to money!
Barney: And that made all the lies related to space. Let the world of sports. Oh wait, I forgot for a space: "I was bitten by a snake space. You have to suck all the poison around my... "
Nora: Okay, Barney, I have things to work tomorrow at 8 am which means I have just enough time to spend 11h in my shower to wash away all that.
Barney: So that was cool. I can remember, or...?
Nora: Barney, you're funny, beautiful, and really nice. But you are also a sociopath.
Barney: Well, I count three for and one against.
Nora: How can you still believe you have a chance with me?
Barney: Because you are sat here all night. You could leave, but you did not. Listen, Nora, these lies, it was the old me. But I swear I try to change.You... make me want to change.
Nora: How I know this is not a lie?
Barney: I will prove it. I'll show you how much I'm serious. I will not leave this restaurant as I have not got a second date with you.
Nora: Goodbye Barney.
Barney: I do not laugh. It is a restaurant 24h/24. I will stay forever if necessary. And I will. Just water for me please. Ted shows the color scale to Lily and Robin.
Ted: Ok, so the red bar indicates the level of attractiveness, blue, intellectual stimulation, green, emotional connection, yellow, compatibility aspirations of life, and purple, so she tried to pay or not.
Lily: Well, it looks like Jessica wins in the first four categories.
Ted: Do not fight in... Robin leaves his room in evening dress.
Robin: Oh, that? It's nothing. It cost me three months' rent, and uh, I have never worn because I bought it for a big party to which you would have asked what did not happen. But, you know what? Do not feel guilty.
Ted: What big event?
Robin: This thing with your uncle.
Ted: His funeral? It fell into the water, he emerged miraculously from his coma.
Robin: And I forgive you. Now I can have my place and meet Lenny Kravitz? Marshall returned to the apartment, drunk.
Marshall: I've done it again!
Lily: Oh, dear. You're still drunk. I can not believe that I made the bet.
Marshall: Just to be clear, "I've done it again!"... Am not referring to my current state of inebriation.
Lily: What does it therefore reference? Video shows Marshall, nude with two bottles taped hands.
Marshall: My name is Marshall Eriksen. I'm 33 and if my potential future employer, Garrison Cootes, look at this... Prostrate to Biercules!
Lily: Well... it could be anyone... The phone rings but Pete it in the hands taped to the bottles.
Pete: Oh, God... Lily is on the phone.
Lily: Pete, it's Lily Aldrin. I'll be brief. You're going out this video of Marshall. You know why? Because I am friends with three girls with whom you came to school, and girls say it all together. Every small detail.Huh. So... tick, tick... Pete so goes the clock in the little dick.
Ted: Pete has a small dick?
Lily: I have no idea. Well, what do you take?
Marshall: It had to happen eventually. I tried so hard to suppress my... "side-idiot-who-is-not-care-for nothing" he rebelled and has struggled!
Robin: It's for sure!
Marshall's voice: Look at me! I am a windmill!
Marshall: Who do I crazy? I'm not ready to be a father. I thought I was, but it's like... My father never did such things, you know?
Lily: But if he did, you would love all the same. And to be honest, you do not love to come across a video of him running down the street naked shouting, "Hey, Marshall, look at me! I have a stalactite on the head! " Barney rises behind Marshall and Lily.
Barney: Oh! Hi guys! Oh! My neck! Uh... oh! Hey! Look at this!
Robin: Barney, what are you doing here?
Barney: Oh, I told Nora that I would not leave until I have no second appointment, and I intend to do. I am here since 9 o'clock. I still need another minute. Say I'm crazy, but I'll stay here as long as it will not be returned.
Ted: That's what I want. Barney's feelings for Nora, I want to feel again. I do not want to choose between two girls. I want to be completely baba one of the two.
Lily: Yes, the stupid thing that makes us turn the head, pretty cool.
Marshall: It's not bad. Also, for posterity, a statement drunk guy! I would not drink again.
Ted (2030): And of course... Flashback Barney and Marshall are at the casino.
Marshall: Carpet Biercules! Yeah!
Ted (2030): But again, I digress. End flashback The next day the phone rings Marshall.
Marshall: Hello?
Garrison: Marshall! Garrison Cootes.
Marshall: Yes, Mr Cootes. How are you?
Garrison: I wanted you to know we had conducted our inquiries, and there is something annoying.
Marshall: Sir, the fact is that...
Garrison: The rainbow in this sample is definitely related to chemical plants. Ok, I... Skip a line... We love you! It takes you.
Marshall: It's fantastic. Thank you, Mr Cootes.
Garrison: Well, nothing. Oh, and when you're in the office, try to wear something Biercules. Ok? Wow, that was a big snake.
Marshall: Oh, there was a snake in the swamp?
Garrison: No, I was talking about your pen1s. See you tomorrow.
Marshall: I got the job.
Lily: Yes!
Marshall: And I think my boss is already sexually harassing me. But he saw the video and he does not care!
Lily: Saw what? Maybe the video is not so bad after all. Marshall's phone rings again.
Marshall: Yes. Hello?
Pete: Hey Marshall, I'm Pete Durkenson. We all went to Wesleyan.
Marshall: Yes, no, I know. Pete, we drank together yesterday.
Pete: Absolutely, now, the message from Lily makes sense. Listen, do not worry Bro ', I remove the video.
Marshall: You know what? Let her.
Pete: As you wish, Biercules. (He hangs up and is in an operating room with a man on the table) Scalpel.
Marshall: You know what? That's good. I want my children to see every part of me.
Lily: Yes. Even the side where you route the East Village naked.
Marshall: I will remember Pete.
Lily: It's a good idea.
Ted (2030): That night, I brought Robin Bal.
Robin: Thanks for taking me.
Ted: The pleasure is mine. And you know, you might find it interesting.Some of these guys represent the history of New York.
Robin: Yes, yes. Where is Lenny Kravitz?
Ted: Right there. Leonard Kravitz, world-renowned architect. This guy is a star. He will make his famous reading of 90 minutes on the beams.
Robin: Well, great. I'll go find one myself and hang myself.
Ted: Ok
Ted (2030): Children, you can not control when falling in love. It does not take days to think about. When this happens, you know quickly and with absolute certainty. I had forgotten. But reminded myself it was going.
|
Plan: A: his dream job; Q: What does Marshall finally land? A: the offer; Q: What does Marshall worry his new employer will rescind? A: a streaker - Beercules; Q: What was Marshall's nickname when he was a streaker? A: Ted; Q: Who is at a loss over whom to take to the Architects' Ball? A: Nora; Q: Who is Barney trying to convince that he can be trustworthy? Summary: Marshall finally lands his dream job, but he worries that his new employer would rescind the offer because of some past videos showing him as a streaker - Beercules. Meanwhile, Ted is at a loss over whom to take to the Architects' Ball while Barney tries to convince Nora that he can be trustworthy.
|
(Camera pans down to to show Ned Stark, sleeping. He opens his eyes. He's lying on a bed. He turns his head to see Cersei and Robert in front of him)
Eddard Stark: Your pardon, your Grace. I would rise, but...
Cersei Baratheon: Do you know what your wife has done?
Eddard Stark: She did nothing I did not command.
Robert Baratheon: Who'd have thought she had it in her?
Cersei Baratheon: By what right dare you lay hands on my blood?
Eddard Stark: I am the King's Hand, charged with keeping the peace...
Cersei Baratheon: You were the King's Hand. You shall now be held accountable.
Robert Baratheon: Will both of you shut your mouths?! Catelyn will release Tyrion and you'll make your peace with Jaime.
Eddard Stark: He butchered my men...
Cersei Baratheon: Lord Stark was returning drunk from a brothel when his men attacked Jaime.
Robert Baratheon: Quiet, woman.
Eddard Stark: Jaime has fled the city. Give me leave to bring him back to justice.
(Robert stares at Ned)
Cersei Baratheon: I took you for a King.
Robert Baratheon: Hold your tongue.
Cersei Baratheon: He's attacked one of my brothers and abducted the other. I should wear the armor and you the gown.
(Robert slaps her)
Cercei: I shall wear this like a badge of honor.
Robert Baratheon: Wear it in silence or I'll honor you again.
(Cersei looks at Ned, back at Robert, then leaves the room)
Robert Baratheon: See what she does to me? (pours wine from a goblet into a cup) My loving wife. I should not have hit her.(sits down on the bed, facing away from Ned) . That was not... That was not Kingly. (drinks the wine)
Eddard Stark: If we don't act, there will be a war.
Robert Baratheon: So tell your wife to return that little sh1t of an Imp to King's Landing. She's had her fun, now put an end to it. You hear me? Send a raven and put an end to it.
Eddard Stark: And what about Jaime Lannister?
(Robert grimaces)
Eddard Stark: What about Jaime?
Robert Baratheon: I'm half a Kingdom in debt to his bloody father! I don't know what happened between you and those yellow-haired sh1ts. I don't want to know. This is what matters... I can't rule the Kingdoms if the Starks and the Lannisters are at each other's throats. So enough.
Eddard Stark: As you command, your Grace. With your leave, I will return to Winterfell and set matters straight.
Robert Baratheon: Piss on that. Send a raven. I want you to stay. I'm the King. I get what I want.... I never loved my brothers. A sad thing for a man to admit, but it's true. You were the brother I chose. (he looks back at Ned. He stands up) We'll talk when I return from the hunt.(he throws the 'hand's badge' at him)
Eddard Stark: The hunt?
(Robert starts walk towards the door)
Robert Baratheon: Killing things clears my head. (at the door) You'll have to sit on the throne while I'm away. You'll hate it more than I do.
Eddard Stark: The Targaryen girl...
Robert Baratheon: (opens the door) Seven hells! don't start with her again. The girl will die and I'll hear no more of it. Put on the badge. And if you ever take it off again, I swear to the Mother I'll pin the damned thing on Jaime Lannister. (exits. the door closes) (Ned picks up the badge the badge)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ A DRAGON EGG ]
(The camera moves up to show Daenerys holding it, in a hut, sitting down. She stands up and walks towards a pot with rocks and fire burning beneath them. She places the egg on the rocks. She kneels down and stares at it. Irri enters the room holding a basket. She stands at the door and looks at Daenerys)
Irri: Khaleesi?
(Daenerys picks the egg up. Irri drops the basket and runs to her)
Khaleesi! (she takes the egg from Daenerys and throws it to the floor. She turns Daenerys' hands to reveal her palms, unburnt. She looks at daenerys, unbelieving)
(Daenerys turns Irri's hands to reveal her palms red)
Daenerys Targaryen: You're hurt.
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WINTERFELL ]
(A raven, sitting on wood, crows. The camera turns to Brandon Stark, aiming a bow at it. He lowers the bow and the raven flies away. He follows it. He follows the raven into a candle lit archway leading to the crypts. The raven lands on a wolf statue leading to the crypts and crows. He stares at it. It flies away, into the crypts. The scene changes to brans bedroom. The camera moves into bran, sleeping on the bed. The door opens. Bran wakes, and sits up to see Hodor , smiling, holding a saddle. Bran smiles as Hodor nods to the saddle.)
(Woods: Bran is riding a horse)
Brandon Stark: Woohoo!
Robb Stark: Not too fast.
Brandon Stark: Come on, Dancer.
Theon Greyjoy: When are you gonna tell him?
(Theon and Robb are sitting on a bench)
(Bran rides Dancer round, circling them)
Robb Stark: Not now.
Theon Greyjoy: Blood for blood.
Brandon Stark: Come on! (he keeps riding)
Theon Greyjoy: You need to make the Lannisters pay for Jory and the others.
Robb Stark: You're talking about war.
Bran: Woooohoo!
Theon Greyjoy: I'm talking about justice.
Robb Stark: Only the Lord of Winterfell can call in the bannermen and raise an army.
Theon Greyjoy: A Lannister put his spear through your father's leg. The Kingslayer rides for Casterly Rock where no one can touch him...
Bran:Woohoo!
Robb Stark: You want me to march on Casterly Rock?
Theon Greyjoy: You're not a boy anymore. They attacked your father. They've already started the war. It's your duty to represent your House when your father can't.
Bran: Come on, Dancer.
Robb Stark: And it's not your duty, because it's not your House.(he looks around. he stands up) Where's Bran? Theon Greyjoy:(he stands up, looks around) I don't know. It's not my House. (walks away)
(Away from Robb and Theon, Bran rides Dancer, slowly, deeper in the woods. He hears a sound and turns his head looking for what it is. A woman moves behind some shrubs, not far from him. He turns his head again, trying to spot something. She comes out from behind him, with three men. They aproach him.)
Brandon Stark: Robb?
(they encircle him)
Osha: All alone in the deep, dark woods.
(Bran looks around)
Brandon Stark: I'm not alone. My brother is with me.
Wildling 1: I don't see him. Got him hidden under your cloak?
Osha: That's a pretty pin. Silver.
(Bran holds the pin on his chest)
Wildling 1: We'll take the pin and the horse. (he brushes the back of the horse's neck) Get down. Be quick about it.
Brandon Stark: I can't. (he looks down at his legs) The saddle... the straps.
(the second wildling moves Bran's cloak to reveal straps on his leg)
Wildling 1:What's wrong with you? You some kind of cripple?
Brandon Stark: I'm Brandon Stark of Winterfell! If you don't let me be, I'll have you all killed!
('The First' wildling draws a knife and starts cutting the straps)
Wildling 2: Cut his little cock off and stuff it in his mouth.
Osha: The boy's worth nothing dead. (The First keeps cutting the straps) Benjen Stark's own blood? Think, what Mance would give us.
Wildling 1: (he stops cutting) Piss on Mance Rayder, and piss on the North. We're going as far South as South goes. There ain't no White Walkers down in Dorne.
(Robert comes up behind them, holding a sword)
Robb Stark: Drop the knife. Let him go and I'll let you live.
Wildling 1: (spits at Robb's direction)
(the second wildling runs towards him holding an ax. He swings at Robb from the side, who ducks, and drives it up from below, missing. He turns around, with the ax in the air, and drives it down to meet Robb's sword. Robb pivets his sword, pulling the wildling closer, Robb's sword taking the wilding ax with it, then swings his sword, driving it through the wildings throat, slitting it. Osha come up from behind and hits Robb's back with a broad stick. Robb turns, strikes the stick to the ground, causing her to slip, and pulls her to his side, holding her hair. A third wildling runs up to him with a sword. Robb strikes the blade away and shuves his sword through the wildling's stomoach. The First pulls Bran from the horse to the ground. He holds his knife to his throat.)
Brandon Stark: Robb! Robb!
Wildling 1: (he looks down at Bran) Shut up! (he looks up at Robb) Drop the blade!
Brandon Stark: No, don't.
Wildling 1: Do it.
(Robb and The First stare at each other. Robb slowly places the blade on the ground)
(THROBB)
Wildling 1:(gasps) (an arrow has pierced his chest. He fall down to reveal theon holding an arrow behind him)
(Theon Greyjoy comes up from behind. He draws another arrow, walking towards Robb, and points it at Osha)
(Robb un-grips Osha's hair and goes to bran. Theon walks up to Osha and stops a foot away, with his arrow still pointing at her)
Robb Stark: Are you all right?
Brandon Stark: Yes. It doesn't hurt.
Theon Greyjoy: Tough little lad. In the Iron Islands, you're not a man until you've killed your first enemy. Well done.
Robb Stark: Have you lost your mind? What if you'd missed?
Theon Greyjoy: He would have killed you and cut Bran's throat.
Robb Stark: You don't have the right...
Theon Greyjoy: To what, to save your brother's life? It was the only thing to do, so I did it.
Robb Stark: What about her?
Osha: Give me my life, my Lord, and I'm yours(she begs with her hands together)
Robb Stark: We'll keep her alive.
(she sighs a cry of joy)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ THE VALE OF ARRYN - SKY CELLS ]
(Tyrion's backside. He awakens and turns, rolling down, towards the edge of the steep floor. he stops, looking down at the misty atmosphere below. he backs away and stands up, goes towards the door.)
Tyrion Lannister: Mord! (he bangs at the door) Turnkey! Mord!
(the sound of a key turning and a door opening. Then Tyrion's door opens. Mord comes in.)
Mord: Dwarf man making noise! (he hits Tyrion, making him back away 'till his back is against the wall.)
Tyrion Lannister: How would you like to be rich?
Mord: (he hits tyrion again) Dwarf man still making noise.
Tyrion Lannister: My family is rich. We have gold, lots of gold. I'm prepared to give you lots of gold in...
(Mord searhes Tyrion's pockets)
Mord: No gold!
Tyrion Lannister: Well, I don't have it here.
Mord: (he hits him again) No gold. f*ck off.
(Mord walks away, out of the cell, closes then locks the door. Tyrion walks away from the wall and looks at the outside of the cell)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ KINGS LANDING - TRAINING ROOM ]
(Syrio closes the door and turns, with two wooden swords in hand, to walk up to Arya. He throws one at Arya, who catches it, and makes a dancing stance, a foot away from her)
Arya Stark: I don't want to practice today.
Syrio Forel: (gets out of the stance) No?
Arya Stark: They killed Jory. My father is hurt. I don't care about stupid wooden swords.
Syrio Forel: (he walks towards her) You are troubled.
Arya Stark: Yes.
Syrio Forel: (he rattles his sword close to her face) Good! Trouble is the perfect time for training. When you are dancing in the meadow with your dolls and kittens, this is not when fighting happens.
Arya Stark: I don't like dolls and k...(he swipes her arm with his sword)
Syrio Forel: You're not here. You're with your trouble. If you are with your trouble when fighting happens...
(he steps back as she advances. She parries, then he turns, around her sword, to be right in front of her, causing her to fall)
Syrio: More trouble for you. Just so. How can you be quick as a snake... (they fight, as she stands up) Or as quiet as a shadow... (their swords meet again. Syrio disarms her by taking her sword with his hand and quickly turns to place his, and her sword, at her neck) When you are somewhere else? (he removes the swords and holds them in one hand. He places his hand on her shoulder) You are fearing for your father. (she nods) That is right. Do you pray to the Gods?
Arya Stark: The old and the new.
Syrio Forel: There is only one God and his name is Death. And there is only one thing we say to Death (he lifts her head up with his finger on her chin) : "Not today."
(he steps back and makes a dancing stance. Arya takes a step back as he advances)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ VAES DOTHRAK - TENT ]
(A heart is held. Dothraki chant as Dany sinks her teeth in, bites a chunk out, and chews it.)
Viserys Targaryen: She has to eat the whole heart? (Viserys is standing amidst the dothraki crowd with Jorah) I hope that wasn't my horse.
(Dany continues to eat, kneeling on a wooden platform. A priestess in front of her sings in dothraki, moving her arms in the air)
Jorah Mormont: She's doing well.
(Khal Drogo looks at Daenerys, a few feet away in front. She rips a chunk out and Drogo nods)
Viserys Targaryen: She'll never keep it down. (the priestess sings louder) Tell me what she's saying.
Jorah Mormont: "The prince is riding. I have heard the thunder of his hooves. Swift as the wind he rides. His enemies will cower before him... And their wives will weep tears of blood." She's going to have a boy.
Viserys Targaryen: He won't be a real Targaryen. He won't be a true Dragon.
(Dany eats the last chunk of the heart as the Priestess continues to sing. Dany chokes and drops, one hand on the ground, the other on her mouth. She vomits. Then pushes the bits back into her mouth. Gasping, she lifts herself back to her knees. She swallows the heart. Drogo smiles at her)
(the priestess speaks in dothraki)
Jorah Mormont: "The stallion who mounts the world. The stallion is the Khal of Khals. He shall unite the people into a single Khalasar. All the people of the world will be his herd".
Daenerys Targaryen: (she stands up and speaks in dothraki) A Prince rides inside me! And he shall be called Rhaegol!
(The Khallasar chants "Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol!....")
Viserys Targaryen: They love her.
(Drogo walks to her and lifts her up, his arms wrapped around her waist, and carries her around the platform. the crowd moves forward, encircling Dany. "Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol! Rhaegol!......", the khalasar chants as the priestess screams)
Jorah Mormont: She truly is a queen today. (he looks beside him, no one)
("Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol! "Rhaegol!......)
(A tent: Someone opens a chest. Inside, three dragon eggs. Viserys looks at them. Kneeling down, he heaves a sigh. Then puts one inside a bag. As he reaches for the second, someone enters the tent. He stands up, a quarter of his sword unsheathed, and turns. He sees Jorah)
Jorah Mormont: Don't let them see you carrying a sword in Vaes Dothrak. You know the law.
Viserys Targaryen: (sheaths his sword) It's not my law.(turns and puts another egg in the bag)
Jorah Mormont: They don't belong to you.
Viserys Targaryen: Whatever is hers is also mine. (and another)
Jorah Mormont: Once, perhaps.
(Viserys stares at the bag. He turns to Jorah)
Viserys Targaryen: If I sell one egg, I'll have enough to buy a ship. Two eggs... a ship and an army.
Jorah Mormont: And you have all three.
Viserys Targaryen: I need a large army. (takes a step closer holding the bag) I'm the last hope of a dynasty, Mormont. The greatest dynasty this world has ever seen on my shoulders since I was five years old... And no one has ever given me what they gave to her in that tent. Never. Not a piece of it. How can I carry what I need to carry without it? Who can rule without wealth or fear or love? (smiles, walking up to him) You stand there, all nobility and honor. (a foot away) You don't think I see you looking at my little sister? Don't think I know what you want?. ...(they stare at each other) ...I don't care. You can have her. She can be Queen of the savages, and dine on the finest bloody horseparts, and you can dine on whichever parts of her you like. But let me go(stepping aside. Jorah steps to him)
Jorah Mormont: You can go. You can't have the eggs.
Viserys Targaryen: You swore an oath to me. Does loyalty mean nothing to you?
Jorah Mormont: It means everything to me.
Viserys Targaryen: And yet here you stand.
Jorah Mormont: And yet here I stand.
(Viserys stares at Jorah with anger. He drops the bag. Jorah steps aside as Viserys stares at him. Viserys then leaves the tent)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ THE VALE - SKY CELLS ]
(Tyrion's hands are against the door)
Tyrion Lannister: Mord!. .....Mord!. .....Mord!. .....(he kicks the door, once, twice, thrice) ....Mord!
(as the door opens, Tyrion backs away. Mord enters, holding a stick, and hits Tyrion, causing him to fall)
Mord: (above Tyrion) Noise again!
Tyrion Lannister:. ...About the gold...
Mord: (hits Tyrion) No gold! (waving the stick at him) No gold.
Tyrion Lannister: Listen to me! Listen to me...Sometimes possession is an abstract concept...(gets hit on the arm by Mord) When they captured me they took my purse, but the gold is still mine.
Mord: (pointing the stick) Where?
Tyrion Lannister: Where? I don't know where (gets hit on his leg) , but when they free me...
Mord: You want free? (points his stick at the outside) Go be free.
Tyrion Lannister: Have you ever heard the phrase "Rich as a Lannister"? (Mord looks at him, interested) Of course you have! You're a smart man. You know who the Lannisters are. I am a Lannister. Tyrion, son of Tywin! And of course, you have also heard the phrase, "A Lannister always pays his debts." If you deliver a message from me( starts to stand, causing Mord to raise his stick) ... to Lady Arryn, I will be in your debt. I will owe you gold. If you deliver the message and I live, which I very much intend to do. Mord:. ......What message?
Tyrion Lannister: (he stands up, Mord raises his stick up again, and takes a step back) Tell her I wish to confess my crimes.
(Court: Metal knocking on wood. Catelyn turns her eyes to looks at Lord Robyn, hitting his armrest with his ring seated next to Lysa)
Lysa Arryn: (to Tyrion) You wish to confess your crimes?
Tyrion Lannister: Yes my Lady. I do, my Lady.
(Tyrion's looking up at Lysa, who's sitting high above at an elevated level)
Lysa Arryn: (turns to Catelyn, who's standing next to Robyn) The sky cells always break them. (turns to Tyrion) Speak, Imp. Meet your Gods as an honest man.
(Tyrion looks around at the people gathered)
Tyrion Lannister: Where do I begin, my Lords and Ladies? I'm a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I'm not particularly good at violence, (Catelyn looks on) but I'm good at convincing others to do violence for me. (Bronn looks on, aside a pillar, secluded from the crowd) You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe. She was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. (eyes closed) If I close my eyes, I can still see her tits bouncing. (the members of court murmur, Bronn smiles, and Tyrion opens his eyes) When I was 10, I stuffed my Uncle's boots with goatshit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged and I escaped justice(Bronn keeps smiling) . When I was 12, I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. (the crowd gasps, outraged. Bronn lightly chuckles) I flogged the one-eyed snake. (chuckles and gasps sound in the air) I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry....(he rattles his chains, shaking his hand below his belly) into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate, at least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel...
Lysa Arryn: (stands) Silence!
Robin Arryn: What happened next?
Lysa Arryn: What do you think you're doing?
Tyrion Lannister: Confessing my crimes.
Catelyn Stark: Lord Tyrion, You are accused of hiring a man to slay my son Bran in his bed, and of conspiring to murder my sister's husband Lord Jon Arryn, the Hand of the King.
Tyrion Lannister: I'm very sorry. I don't know anything about all that.
Lysa Arryn: You've had your little joke. I trust you enjoyed it. Mord! (Mord steps forward) Take him back to the dungeon. But this time find a smaller cell, with a steeper floor.
Tyrion Lannister: Is this how justice is done in the Vale? (Mord steps back, smiling at Tyrion) You accuse me of crimes, (looking around at the court members) I deny them, so you throw me into a cell to freeze and starve? Where is the King's justice? (looks at Lysa) I am accused and demand a trial!
(Catelyn looks at Lysa)
Lysa Arryn: (looks at the crowd, then back at Tyrion) If you're tried and found guilty, then by the King's own laws you will pay with your life.
Tyrion Lannister: I understand the law.
Lysa Arryn: We have no executioner in the Eyrie. Life is more elegant here. (turns her head to her left) Open the Moon Door.
(two men walk to a wheel and turn it)
(Robyn giggles as a round door on the ground, a foot away from Tyrion, opens)
Lysa Arryn: You want a trial, my Lord Lannister. Very well. My son will listen to whatever you have to say, and you will hear his judgment. Then you will leave... By one door or the other.
Tyrion Lannister: No need to bother Lord Robin. I demand a trial by combat.
(the members start to laugh. Lysa looks at the members, uncertain. She turns to Catelyn, who looks back worried. She then turns back to Tyrion)
Lysa Arryn: You have that right.
(a knight from the crowd approaches)
Knight 1: I beg the honor. Let me be your champion.
Knight 2: The honor should be mine.(standing amongs the member of court) For the love I bore your Lord husband, let me avenge his death.
Knight 3: I'll fight for you.(from the crowd)
Knight 4: It'll be my honor.(from the crowd)
Knight 5: The honor should be mine.(from the crowd)
Robin Arryn: Make the bad man fly!
Lysa Arryn: (to a knight, standing behind Tyrion) Ser Vardis... You're quiet. Don't you want to avenge my husband?
Vardis Egan: (steps forward) With all my heart, my Lady (he kneels. Catelyn looks at him) But the Imp is half my size. It would be shameful to slaughter such a man and call it justice.
Tyrion Lannister: Agreed.
Lysa Arryn: You demanded a trial by combat.
Tyrion Lannister: Now I demand a champion. I have that right, same as you.
Vardis Egan: (stands) I will gladly fight the Imp's champion, for you.
Tyrion Lannister: I wouldn't be too glad, Ser. I name my brother Jaime Lannister.
(whispers sound amongst the members)
Lysa Arryn: The Kingslayer is hundreds of miles from here.
Tyrion Lannister: Send a raven for him. I'm happy to wait.
Lysa Arryn: (shakes her head) The trial will be today.
Tyrion Lannister: (turns around) Do I have a volunteer? (members chuckle) Anyone? (Robyn giggles) Anyone? (Robyn giggles as the members continue chuckle. Tyrion turns to Lysa)
Lysa Arryn: I think we can assume that no one is willing...
Bronn: I'll stand for the dwarf.
(Catelyn and Lysa look at Bronn. Tyrion turns to Bronn, smiling. Bronn shrugs at him)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ THE KINGSWOOD ]
(Robert, Lancel, Renly, and Selmy walk through the forest. Robert in front, holding a spear, lancel just behind him, holding wine, Renly behind Lancel, also holding a spear, and Selmy behind Renly.)
Lancel Lannister: (Walks up to Robert) More wine, your Grace?
(they all stop walking as Robert takes the wineskin from Lancel and takes a chug. He gives it back and they resume walking. Lancel steps back to be between Renly and Selmy)
Robert Baratheon: Now, what was I saying?
Renly Baratheon: A simpler time.
Robert Baratheon: It was. It was. You're too young to remember. Wasn't it simpler, Selmy?
Barristan Selmy: It was, your Grace.
Robert Baratheon: The enemy was right in the open, vicious as you like, all but sending you a bloody invitation. Nothing like today.
Renly Baratheon: It sounds exhilarating.
Robert Baratheon: Exhilarating, yes. Not as exhilarating as those balls and masquerades you like to throw (starts a hearty laugh as Renly swallows his irritation) (They continue to walk, deeper in the woods) You ever f*ck a Riverlands girl?
Renly Baratheon: Once. I think.
Robert Baratheon: You think? I think you'd remember. Back in our day, you weren't a real man until you'd f*cked one girl from each of the Seven Kingdoms and the Riverlands. We used to call it "making the eight."
(Selmy moves up to be infront of Lancel)
Renly Baratheon: Those were some lucky girls.
Robert Baratheon: You ever make the eight, Barristan?
Barristan Selmy: I don't believe so, your Grace.
Robert Baratheon: Those were the days.
Renly Baratheon: Which days, exactly? (renly stops walking and Robert turns to him) The ones where half of Westeros fought the other half and millions died? (the rest of the party stop as well) Or before that, when the Mad King slaughtered women and babies because the voices in his head told him they deserved it? Or way before that, when dragons burned whole cities to the ground?!
Robert Baratheon: Easy, boy. You might be my brother, but you're speaking to the King.
Renly Baratheon: I suppose it was all rather heroic... If you were drunk enough and had some poor Riverlands whore to shove your prick inside and make the eight. (he slaps his spear to his other hand and walks off in anger. Robert looks at him. Lancel walks to Robert)
Lancel Lannister: More wine, your Grace?
(Robert grabs the wine and takes a long swig from it. He shoves it at Lancel's chest and walks away. Lancel looks back at Selmy and then follows Robert. Selmy looks on at Lancel as he resumes walking)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ KINGS LANDING - THRONE ROOM ]
(A person's back is seen some feet away from the Iron Chair. Ned Stark is seated on the Iron Chair, with grand maester Pycelle seated on a chair to his left and Petyr Baelish to his right, sitting on a chair with a feather and papers on his lap)
Farmer: They burned most everything in the Riverlands (A Farmer, standing some feet away from Ned) : our fields, our granaries, (some farmers behind him look down, sullen) our homes. They took our women, then they took 'em again. When they was done, they butchered them as if they was animals. They covered our children in pitch, and lit them on fire (his voice croaks as he tries not to cry)
Maester Pycelle: Brigands, most likely.
Farmer: They weren't thieves. They didn't steal nothing. (one of the farmers shakes his head) They even left something behind, your Grace.
Maester Pycelle: It's the King's Hand you're addressing, (Ned looks at him) not the King. The King is hunting.
(the farmer throws a sack to the floor and lifts it from the bottom side. Fish fall out)
(people at court murmur and exlaim, appalled)
Petyr Baelish: Fish. The Sigil of House Tully. (he leans his head towards Ned Stark and whispers) Isn't that your wife's house... Tully, my Lord Hand?
Eddard Stark: (to the farmer) These men, were they flying a Sigil? A banner?
Farmer: None, your... Hand. The one who was leading them... Taller by a foot than any man I've ever met, saw him cut the blacksmith in two, saw him take the head off a horse with a single swing of his sword.
Petyr Baelish: (still leaning) That sounds like someone we know. The Mountain.
Eddard Stark: (to the farmer) You're describing Ser Gregor Clegane.
Maester Pycelle: Why should Ser Gregor turn brigand? The man is an anointed knight.
Petyr Baelish: (to Pycelle) I've heard him called Tywin Lannister's mad dog. I'm sure you have as well. (to Ned, voice lowered) Can you think of any reason the Lannisters might possibly have for being angry with your wife? (he stares at Ned, who stares back. Ned turnes back to the farmer)
Maester Pycelle: If the Lannisters were to order attacks on villages under the King's protection, it would be...
Petyr Baelish: That would be almost as brazen as attacking the Hand of the King in the streets of the capital.(Pycelle mumbles to himself. Petyr and Ned exchange stares. Ned turns to the farmer)
Eddard Stark: I cannot give you back your homes or restore your dead to life, but perhaps I can give you justice, in the name of our King, Robert. Lord Beric Dondarrion. (Berric steps forward from the crowd) (to Berric) You shall have the command. Assemble 100 men and ride to Ser Gregor's keep.
Beric Dondarrion: As you command.
(Ned stands with his stick, slightly struggling.)
Eddard Stark: (to Berric) In the name of Robert of the House Baratheon, the first of his name, King of the Andals and the first men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms and protector of the realm, I charge you to bring the King's justice to the false knight Gregor Clegane and all those who shared in his crimes. I denounce him and attaint him. (gasps, murmurs, and voices of outrage sound at court) I strip him of all ranks and titles, of all lands and holdings, and sentence him to death.
Maester Pycelle: (stands up, outraged) My Lord. This is a drastic action. It would be better to wait for King Robert's return.
Eddard Stark: Grand Maester Pycelle.
Maester Pycelle: My Lord.
Eddard Stark: Send a raven to Casterly Rock. Inform Tywin Lannister that he has been summoned to Court to answer for the crimes of his bannermen. He will arrive within the fortnight or be branded an enemy of the crown and a traitor to the realm.
(Ned leaves Pycelle standing. Petyr puts the quill in his book, leaves them on the chair, and follows Ned. He walks with Ned, who's taking steps down from the Throne Stand)
Petyr Baelish: (to Ned, voice lowered) A bold move, my Lord, and admirable. But is it wise to yank the lion's tail? Tywin Lannister is the richest man in all the Seven Kingdoms. (He stops walking) (voice raised) Gold wins wars, not soldiers.
Eddard Stark: (walking on the Throne Room floor) Then how come Robert is King and not Tywin Lannister? (walks away)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ The Vale of Arryn-Court ]
(A wheel is being turned by two men. As they turn it, the Moon Door opens. They stop turning, and mist hovers below the door. Ser Vadis loweres his helm as a servant gives Bronn, who's holding a sword, a shield. Ser Vadis grabs a shield from a servant as well. They stand a few feet away from each other, as Tyrion looks at Bronn. Catelyn looks on at them from above, beside Lysa and Robyn)
Robyn Arryn: (Lord Robyn stands and signals with the throw of his fist) Fight!
(Bronn and Vadis walk towards each other and their swords meet In the air. Ser Vadis swings as Bronn evades. Ser Vadis continues to attack, leading Bronn towards a wall. Bronn strikes away Vadis' attacks as he backs away up some steps. Vadis Drive his sword down above Bronn, who jumps over small pillars lining the steps, bearly missing Vadis' steel)
Lysa Arryn: Stand and fight, coward!
(Bronn kicks a stand with lit candles on top of it towards Vadis. Vadis steps over it and walks to Bronn. He swings as Bronn ducks. Again, this time their swords meet. Bronn deflects Vadis' blade. Again, from above, Vadis drives his sword down to lock with Bronn's in the air. Vadis pushes Bronn towards the Moon Door. Bronn tries to push back as the lock his sword has starts to dwindle. He manages to break the lock and push Ser Vadis away. Ser Vadis lunges again and Bronn keeps striking away, as he keeps backing away from him. Vadis lunges at Bronn, who moves away, causing Vadis to collide with a wall with his shoulder. Bronn pushes a man at Vadis, who moves the man away. As the men and women at court move away from the fight, Vadis continues to attack Bronn. As he strikes, Bronn ducks and quickly gets his sword between Vadis' shield and side, slicing him, draws it back and steps away. Lysa gasps)
Tyrion Lannister: Yes! (Catelyn looks at Tyrion, who pushes his lower lip with his tongue from the inside)
(Vadis lifts his helm, panting)
Lysa Arryn: (to Vadis) Enough, Ser Vardis! Finish him! (she looks at Tyrion, who returns the glare. Vadis looks at Lysa, then Bronn. He lowers his helm, and they resume fighting)
(Bronn ducks Vadis' attacks. Vadis advances and swings his swords at Bronn, who strikes it. Vadis' drives his shield down at Bonn and Bronn hits it, turns and drives his swords up Vadis' back, who yells and falls to his knees. Tyrion grins. Vadis slumpers up and runs at Bronn, who trips him with his foot, and falls down beside the Moon Door. Bronn kicks away Vadis' shield. On his knees, Vadis lifts his sword and Bronn holds up high the arm that holds it. He positions his sword high in the air and looks at Lysa. Cries of "No!" echo in the court. Lysa looks, shocked, as Catelyn closes her eyes. He drives his sword through, between Vadis' helmet and chest. People gasp, as blood pours down Vadis' neck. Bronn throws Vadis' arm into the Moon Door, Vadis' body with it.)
Robin Arryn: (smiling) (to Lysa) Is it over?
(Lysa stares at the mist below the Moon Door. She looks up to Bronn, angry)
Lysa Arryn: You don't fight with honor!
Bronn: No. (He looks at the Moon Door, points, and looks back at Lysa) He did.
(Tyrion walks to Mord, who unshackles him. He walks towards Rodrick)
Robin Arryn:(to Lysa) Can I make the little man fly now?
Tyrion Lannister: Not this little man. This little man is going home. (he stops a foot away from an elevated level overlooking him, where Rodrick is standing amongst members of the court) (looking up to Rodrick) I believe you have something of mine.
(Rodrick turns to Catelyn, standing some feet away. She nods at him. He takes a bag out of his pocket and throws it at Tyrion. As Tyrion catches it, coins rattle from inside. He bows to Lysa as he steps back and walks away. Bronn nods to Lysa and walks to Tyrion, who throws the bag to Mord. Bronn and Tyrion walk to the doors, which the guards in front open, and leave court,)
Tyrion Lannister: A Lannister always pays his debts. (walking away, as Mord smiles while looking at the bag. The doors behind Tyrion close)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ KINGS LANDING - SANSA'S ROOM ]
(Septa Mordane knits, sitting on a chair. Sansa does the same on her chair, in front of Mordane.)
(Mordane stops knitting and looks at Sansa)
Septa Mordane: You wear your hair like a real southern lady now.
Sansa Stark: Well, why shouldn't I? We're in the South.
Septa Mordane: (resumes knitting) It's important to remember where you come from. I'm not sure your mother would like these new styles.
Sansa Stark: My mother isn't from the North.
Septa Mordane: I'm aware of that.
Sansa Stark: (looks at Mordane) Why do you care? Do you even have hair under there?
Septa Mordane: Yes, I have hair.
Sansa Stark: I've never seen it.
Septa Mordane: Would you like to?
Sansa Stark: (looks at Mordane) No. Where are you from anyway? The North or the South?
Septa Mordane: I come from a very small village in...
Sansa Stark: Oh, wait. I just realized, I don't care.(continues knitting)
Septa Mordane: Sansa...
Sansa Stark: (stops knitting and looks up at Mordane) Septa.
(a door leading to the room, some feet away, opens)
Septa Mordane: (to Sansa) Now you are being rude.
(Joffrey walks into the room and Sansa and Mordane stand. As Joffrey walks to Sansa, Mordane makes courtsey)
Septa Mordane: My Prince.
Sansa Stark: (Courtseys) My Prince.
Joffrey Baratheon: (bowing in front of Sansa) My Lady. I fear I have behaved monstrously the past few weeks. (he shows her a necklace he's holding) With your permission?
(she turns, smiling. Joffrey puts it around her neck. She moves her pony tails to her front and holds the heart on the necklace)
Sansa Stark: (turning to Joffrey) It's beautiful, like the one your mother wears.
Joffrey Baratheon: You'll be Queen someday. It's only fitting you should look the part. (he looks down, then back up to Sansa) Will you forgive me for my rudeness?
Sansa Stark: There's nothing to forgive.
Joffrey Baratheon: You're my Lady. One day we'll be married in the throne room. (Sansa smiles) Lords and ladies from all over the Seven Kingdoms will come, from the last hearth in the North to the Salt Shore in the South, and you will be Queen over all of them. (Sansa smiles. Mordane, some feet away, looks down at the floor, unconvinced) I'll never disrespect you again. I'll never be cruel to you again. Do you understand me? You're my Lady now, from this day....(he touches her cheek with his hands) until my last day.
(he moves in and they kiss. After the kiss, Sansa smiles.)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ WINTERFELL - IN THE WOODS OUTSIDE THE CASTLE ]
(A horse rides a cart passed some people going the other way. Ros sits at the back of the cart with some turnips beside her. Theon comes up from behind riding a horse.)
Theon Greyjoy: (to the cart) Stop! Stop!
(the man riding the horse stops. Theon stops in front of Ros)
Theon: (to Ros) What are you doing?
Ros: Going to King's Landing.
Theon Greyjoy: In a turnip cart?
Ros: I'll find a ship heading south in White Harbor.
Theon Greyjoy: You can afford that?
Ros: Some of my friends are more generous than others.
Theon Greyjoy: There's a thousand girls like you in King's Landing.
Ros: So I'll have lots of company.
Theon Greyjoy: Yes, you'll be very popular. Until some fat lord comes to visit with a big belly and a little prick and he can't get it up so he knocks all your teeth out.
Ros: (chuckles) And what will happen to me if I stay here? Will I become Lady Greyjoy? Mistress of the Iron Islands?
Theon Greyjoy: Don't be a fool.
Ros: I hear Jaime Lannister attacked Lord Stark in the streets of King's Landing. Every man for a hundred miles will be marching off to war soon. Most of them will never come back. There's nothing left for me here. (to the rider) Let's go, Stefon.
(they start to ride off, leaving Theon)
Theon Greyjoy: Let me see it one more time!
Ros: See what?
(Theon throws a coin at Ros. She catches it, then lifts her dress to reveal he c**t. He looks. She laughs, then covers it.)
Theon Greyjoy: I'm going to miss you.
Ros: I know.
(she rides away as Theon looks on)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ KINGS LANDING - THE HAND CHAMBERS ]
(Ned walks with his stick up to Sansa and Arya, both sitting on his bed.)
Eddard Stark: I'm sending you both back to Winterfell.
Sansa Stark: What?
Eddard Stark: Listen.
Sansa Stark: What about Joffrey?
Arya Stark: Are you dying because of your leg? Is that why you're sending us home?
Eddard Stark: What? No.
Sansa Stark: Please, father.
Arya Stark: You can't. I've got my lessons with Syrio. I'm finally getting good.
Eddard Stark: This isn't a punishment. I want you back for your own safety.
Arya Stark: Can we take Syrio back with us?
Sansa Stark: Who cares about your stupid dancing teacher? I can't go. I'm supposed to marry Prince Joffrey. I love him and I'm meant to be his Queen and have his babies.
Arya Stark: Seven hells.
Eddard Stark: When you're old enough, I'll make you a match with someone who's worthy of you, someone brave, gentle and strong...
Sansa Stark: I don't want someone brave, gentle and strong. I want him! (Arya smiles and lightly chuckles. Ned tries not to smile, looking down) He'll be the greatest King that ever was, a golden lion, and I'll give him sons with beautiful blond hair.
(Ned looks up, pondering)
Arya Stark: The lion's not his sigil, idiot. (Ned keeps wondering) He's a stag, like his father.
Sansa Stark: He is not. He's nothing like that old drunk King.
Eddard Stark: Go on girls, get your Septa and start packing your things. (Ned turns away and walks to his desk)
Sansa:Wait!
Arya Stark: (she grabs Sansa's arm and pulls her towards the door) Come on.
Sansa Stark: But it's not fair! (Arya opens the door and leaves with Sansa, who quickly turns her head back at Ned before being pulled out of the room)
(Ned sits on a chair and opens a book on his desk, The Lineages of The Great Houses of Westeros. He turns a few pages before stopping at House Baratheon)
Eddard Stark: "Lord Orys Baratheon, black of hair. Axel Baratheon, black of hair. Lyonel Baratheon, black of hair. Steffon Baratheon, black of hair. (he turns a page) Robert Baratheon, black of hair. Joffrey Baratheon... Golden-head." (he looks up, shocked, and closes the book)
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ VAES DOTHRAK - TENT ]
(A woman enters a tent with a platter of food. Women dance around a fire with their tits showing. Daenerys' laughs with her maids, as a Dothraki beats the drums. The music throbbs. Irri stands next to Khal Drogo, who talks to some dothraki, as a host of people celebrate Daenerys' feast. Viserys stumbles into the tent.)
Viserys Targaryen: Daenerys!
(Jorah Mormont, seated beside Daenerys, looks at Viserys)
Viserys Targaryen: Where's my sister?
Daenerys Targaryen: (leans towards Jorah) Stop him.
(Jorah stands up and walks to Viserys)
Viserys Targaryen: Where is she? Where is she? (turns around, looking for her) I'm here for the feast. The whore's feast?
(Jorah grabs Viserys' shoulder from behind)
Jorah Mormont: Come.
Viserys Targaryen: (turns to Jorah and shrugs his shoulder off) Get your hands off me! No one touches the Dragon!
(Khal drogo laughs with a dothraki, some feet away from Viserys. Viserys spots him) (to Khal drogo) Khal Drogo! I'm here for the feast.
(Drogo says something to Viserys in dothraki as he points his hand, holding wine, to a spot next to Viserys)
Jorah Mormont: Khal Drogo says there is a place for you. (points behind Viserys, further away from the center of the feast) Back there.
Viserys Targaryen: (shakes his head) That is no place for a King.
Khal Drogo: You are no King.
Viserys Targaryen: (he draws his sword. Jorah takes a step towards him and Viserys point his blade at his face) Keep away from me!
Daenerys Targaryen: Viserys! Please.
Viserys Targaryen: (he turns his head and spots Daenerys) There she is. (walks towards her, pointing his sword at her)
Jorah Mormont: Put the sword down. They'll kill us all!
Viserys Targaryen: They can't kill us. (pointing his sword again at Jorah) (Drogo mutters to his dothraki soldier, who then gets up) They can't shed blood in their sacred city. (he points his sword at various people around him. he turns and reaches Daenerys. He points his sword at a maid who tries to block him. Daenerys pulls the maid back, and the sword shifts back to Daenerys. He lowers it down to her belly) But I can. I want what I came for. (Irri starts mutterring to Drogo, translating) I want the crown he promised me. He bought you. But he never paid for you. Tell him I want what was bargained for or I'm taking you back. He can keep the baby. I'll cut it out and leave it for him.
(Drogo speaks in dothraki to Viserys)
Viserys: What's he saying?
Daenerys Targaryen: He says yes. You shall have a golden crown... that men shall tremble to behold.
(Viserys looks at drogo, who's staring at him intensely. Viserys looks back at Daenerys)
Viserys Targaryen: That was all I wanted. (he smiles, relieved) What was promised. (he looks at Drogo)
(Viserys takes a step back, still smiling, away from Daenerys, as Drogo walks to her. Drogo touches her belly with his hand. Her hand touches his. Drogo says something in dothraki as two of his men come up from behind Viserys and break his arm)
Viserys: (Screams) No! You cannot touch me! (they pull him away as he struggles) I am the Dragon! I'm a dragon! I want my crown! (Drogo speaks again in dothraki, and his men push Viserys to the ground, still holding him) ,
(Drogo goes to a pot with hot water in it on above a fire. He empties it and throws some gold chains inside)
Jorah Mormont: Look away, Khaleesi.
Daenerys Targaryen: No.
(Viserys looks at the pot Drogo threw gold the chains in, in horror. He turns to Danaerys)
Viserys Targaryen: Dany, tell them. (the gold melts) Make them! Make them... (he looks at drogo) No, you can't! (back at dany) Dany, please! (Drogo walks to Viserys with the pot)
Khal Drogo: (in front of Viserys) A crown for a King.(he pours the gold from the pot on Viserys' head)
Viserys: (screaming) No! Agghhh! (Drogo crouches down and looks looks in anger at Viserys' melting face. Drogo's men release Viserys as he stops trembling. His body falls to the ground)
Jorah Mormont: Khaleesi.
Daenerys Targaryen: (looking eerily calm at Viserys) He was no Dragon. Fire cannot kill a Dragon.
[ END ]
[SCENE_BREAK]
[ Transcriber's Notes ]
I changed the name,'Wilding 1', to, 'The First', in the scene description. He was actually the first and only wildling to threaten Bran. Throughout Bran's journey from winterfell to the three eyed raven, with the acception of gilly, he never encountered a wilding again. And as Jorah said about the dothraki, they don't bare swords in Vaes Dothrak. Melting a person's face off though, I think, counts as shedding blood. The fire that melted the gold, that caused Viserys' face to bleed, among other things, certainly does give fans of Dany some poetic justice of Fire and Blood.
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Plan: A: King Robert; Q: Who reappoints Ned as Hand? A: running affairs; Q: What is Ned tasked with? A: Riverrun; Q: Where do the villagers come from? A: raiders; Q: Who committed the atrocities? A: Ned deduces; Q: Who deduces that Ser Gregor Clegane led the raiders? A: a Lannister retainer; Q: What is Ser Gregor Clegane? A: death; Q: What does Ned sentence Ser Gregor to? A: a trial; Q: What does Ned summon Tywin Lannister to? A: Winterfell; Q: Where does Ned send Sansa and Arya? A: Jaime Lannister; Q: Who is the father of Joffrey and his siblings? A: Bran; Q: Who is attacked by rogue Wildings? A: his new saddle; Q: What was Bran testing when he was attacked? A: Theon , Ned's; Q: Who is Ned's captive ward? A: a fallen rebel; Q: What was King Balon? A: Osha; Q: Who is the woman Wilding that is enslaved? A: the Vale; Q: Where does Tyrion demand a trial by combat? A: Tyrion; Q: Who demands a trial by combat? A: Lysa; Q: Who chooses Ser Vardis as her champion? A: The sellsword Bronn volunteers; Q: Who volunteers to be Tyrion's champion? A: Tyrion's release; Q: What does Bronn obtain? A: Drogo; Q: Who kills Viserys? A: Daenerys' unborn child; Q: Who does Viserys threaten to kill? A: molten gold; Q: What does Drogo kill Viserys with? Summary: King Robert reappoints Ned as Hand and tasks him with running affairs until Robert returns from hunting. Villagers from Riverrun arrive with news of atrocities committed by raiders, who Ned deduces were led by Ser Gregor Clegane , a Lannister retainer. Ned sentences Ser Gregor to death and summons Tywin Lannister to a trial. Ned decides to send Sansa (now reconciled with Joffrey) and Arya back to Winterfell. Ned has discovered that Joffrey and his two siblings are not Robert's biological children, and were fathered by Jaime Lannister. Bran, while testing his new saddle, is attacked by rogue Wildings. Robb , Ned's oldest son, and Theon , Ned's captive ward, whose father, King Balon, was a fallen rebel, rescue him, and the woman Wilding, Osha, is enslaved. In the Vale, Tyrion demands a trial by combat . Lysa chooses Ser Vardis as her champion. The sellsword Bronn volunteers as Tyrion's champion. He defeats Vardis and obtains Tyrion's release. Meanwhile, Viserys grows impatient and angry waiting for Drogo to fulfill his promise, and he threatens to kill Daenerys' unborn child. Drogo kills Viserys by pouring molten gold on his head.
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Dwight: [lights and power go off] Uh-Oh. Okay, okay, nobody panic. Listen Up, listen up. [Turns On Flashlight and holds it to his face] Everyone, follow me to the shelter. We've got enough food for 14 days. After that, we have a difficult conversation.
Michael: [as the power and lights come back on] My Bad. Space Heater and Fan were both on high, plugged into the same outlet.
Jim: Uh, it's saying the server went down? Does Anybody know that password? 'Cause otherwise we can't do any work.
Michael: Uh... try "password".
Jim: Nope.
Dwight: Try zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, zero.
Jim: No.
Dwight: Okay, now try Zero, Zero, Zero, Zero, zero, one.
Jim: Okay, I'm not doing every number.
Pam: Wait, um, does anyone remember when it was set up?
Michael: Uh... it was like eight years ago?
Pam: Lord of the Ring stuff? I don't know, I'm just trying to think of things that were happening at the time.
Erin: Um, everyone was getting their driver's license.
Jim: Why don't we just call the I.T. Guy who set it up? What's the name of the guy in Glasses, again?
Michael: Okay, moving backwards, our I.T. Guys have been... Glasses, Turban, Ear Hair, Fatty 3, Shorts, Fatty 2, Lozenge, and Fatso. I think Lozenge was the one who installed it.
Andy: I got it, try, um--[Coughs]
Michael: You know what? It made me laugh when I heard it, but Pam got really offended.
Kevin: Big Boobs.
Meridith: Drama Queen?
Angela: Nosy?
Pam: You're typing "Big Boobs"?
Jim: I'm trying everything.
Dwight: Try "Big Boobs" with a "Z".
Jim: That's-- [ding] the password. We're in.
Dwight: All Right
Kevin: Wow.
Dwight: Yes.
Michael: The important thing is... this kept us secure people.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Morning.
Ryan: How's It Going?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: Hey, I'm WUPHF.
Michael: [wearing Ryan's glasses] I'm Facebook.
Ryan: What's up Facebook?
Michael: I sent you a Facebook message yesterday, I still haven't heard anything back.
Ryan: You should've sent me a WUPHF.
Michael: A what?
Ryan: [pulls out Blackberry] When you send a WUPHF, it goes to your home phone, Email, Facebook, Twitter and homescreen. All at the same time. [phone rings, computer chimes, printer starts up]
Robotic Voice: WUPHF.
Ryan and Michael: WUPHF!
Michael: Dot com!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: [getting copies from the color copier behind the receptionist desk] Thanks Erin.
Erin: Sure.
Erin: Pam.
Pam: Mm-Hmm?
Erin: I don't wanna be a lousy snitch.
Pam: Okay.
Erin: Ryan has been using the color printer for his business a lot, and as Office Administrator--
Pam: Oh, it's okay.
Erin: But it's not for--
Pam: Let it go.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Yes, I invested in WUPHF. It's actually a great idea and I can't believe it didn't exist before. And I know Ryan's kind of a sketchy guy, but hey, I married Jim. I've done my part for the nice guy. Now I want a bedroom set.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: I think an investor's ski trip is the best idea. It will be a bonding experience.
Ryan: I love it.
Michael: I was looking at a trail map, and I was thinking that we should start on a bunny hill, because I've never actually been skiing. And then work our way up to death drop.
Ryan: Great, so we got our first offer to buy the company.
Michael: Your kidding?!
Ryan: We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, really do this thing our way.
Michael: You and me.
Ryan: New Investors are key, though. That's actually why I came in today.
Michael: Don't you work here full-time?
Ryan: [chuckles] Today, I was thinking I would sit down with a few of the people who haven't invested yet.
Michael: Mm-Hmm.
Ryan: Or we could do that together, if that sounds fun to you.
Michael: That does sound fun to me.
Ryan: Awesome.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [out in the parking lot with a guy unloading hay bales while Dwight sifts through the hay] Ah, this is good hay. Yeah. This is the good stuff, mattress quality.
Dwight: Every fall, my Uncle Eldred used to build us a maze out of hay bales for us kids to play in. We called it "Hay Place". Eldred Called it "Hay World". Eventually lawyers were brought in. But that's all behind us. Hay Place lives on! [guy comes and sticks a Bale of Hay right behing Dwight and knocks it into Dwight] Watch it, watch it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Hello! Welcome to Hay Place! A place for hay.
Guy: Don't forget to make a broom.
Dwight: Oh, and the Petting Zoo closes at 2:00, and the Goat Roast is at 3:00. Come on in, enjoy!
Angela: Hey, I'm kind of in the mood for a roll in the hay.
Dwight: Roll in the hay, five dollars.
Angela: No, I meant... [motions you and me]
Dwight: Oh, our contract.
Angela: Mm-Hmm.
Dwight: Yes, why don't we meet at the usual spot. [looks at his watch] Uh... I've got a half an hour during lunch in-between the historical reenactment of the dunmore farm slaughters and the onion boil.
Angela: Perfect!
Dwight: So, uh... [notices a kid walking on a bale of hay] Excuse me, get off of there! Those are show bales, not play bales.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: [on phone] All right, Thank you, I will--I will send the contracts over right away. All Right. [hangs up the phone and rubs his eyes] Whoo! [Erin jumps in the background]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: I am on the first hot sale streak of my life. I think it all comes from feeding Cece, because no matter how much she resists, I sell her those carrots. Let's be honest--if I can make mushed carrots seem better than a boob... I can pretty much sell anything. [laughs]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: Commission comes out to... dunh-duh-na-dah! Zero.
Jim: Mm-Kay, Well, it can't be zero, Kev.
Kevin: I entered the sale, and I hit enter, and I said, "dunh-duh-na-dah!" I'm pretty sure I timesed it right.
Angela: You met your commission cap last week. So from here until the end of the fiscal year, your commission will be zero.
Jim: What are you talking about? We--we have a commission cap?
Angela: It's a new corporate policy.
Kevin: Dunh-duh-na-dah!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Gabe: Is this job really about the money for you, Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?
Jim: A commission cap takes away my incentive to sell. So you realize I now have no reason to work, right?
Gabe: When you're dealing with a large organization, sometimes you have to put up with policies you don't like. I wish my gym didn't allow full nudity in the locker room. Okay, seeing these old guys walking around naked feels almost passive-aggressive. But I deal with it. 'Cause it's policy. See what I mean?
Jim: Nope.
Gabe: Nudity makes me uncomfortable.
Jim: Okay.
Gabe: My gym allows it. I wish they didn't, but it's policy. So I respect it, and I just--[put's his hands cupped by his face and turns away] keep a low--you know, I look away. Think about your commission cap as a naked old man in a gym locker room.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: Excuse me, everyone... s*x! Now that I have your attention...
Stanley: You don't have our attention.
Michael: MONEY!
Stanley: I'm listening.
Kevin: You had me at "s*x."
Michael: Pervert.
Phyllis: You have all of our attention just by screaming anything.
Michael: That's good to know. [screams]
Pam: What do you want to say, Michael?
Michael: Wuphf! All right, I've warmed them up for you. You have the floor, Ryan.
Ryan: How's everybody doing?!
Michael: Whoo!
Ryan: Good! Now, a lot of you have already staked out your corner of the WUPHF empire. Raise your hand if I'm describing you. [Michael, Pam, Daryl, and Stanley raise their hands]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Stanley: Yes, I have a dream. And It's not some M.L.K. Dream for Equality. I want to own a decommissioned Lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there's a button that I can press, and it'll launch that lighthouse into space.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: For my current investors, things are going great.
Michael: We already have a buyer.
Pam: Really?! Who?!
Ryan: Washington University. I don't even want to think about selling until our numbers get into the billions.
Michael: At least.
Ryan: So I've decided to open up a second round of investment to friends and family.
Phyliss: Oh, God. Hold on to your wallets, ladies.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Oscar: Did you ever think of WUPHF as an emergency notification system, like, for college campuses with shooters or gas leaks?
Ryan: No, no--Oscar, it's not--it's not a digital rape whistle. WUPHF is about fun.
Michael: That's right!
Ryan: Fun, communication, connection.
Oscar: What's your money situation?
Ryan: Well, it's tight, as with any start-up.
Oscar: Sure, how long can you sustain this without a cash infusion?
Ryan: We have nine solid days. I love these questions. Keep 'em coming.
Andy: I'm sorry, nine days until what?
Oscar: Bankruptcy?
Michael: Wait, Ryan, so this could be over by the weekend?
Oscar: How long do you think a week is?
Michael: No, not this weekend; next weekend. We were gonna go on the investors ski trip. I bought poles.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Well, since I have no incentive to sell, I've cleaned my car, organized my desk, and taken a multivitamin. So... what now?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: Pam. Okay, now I've tried everything.
Pam: Did you prank Dwight?
Jim: No.
Pam: Well, you like that.
Jim: Yeah, it's not as fun if I'm not blowing off work.
Pam: I love you, but I'm kinda busy. So I need you to figure this one out on your own.
Jim: [blows a raspberry, Erin looks shocked, Kevin chuckles]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Oscar said WUPHF only has enough money for nine days.
Ryan: [colorful poster with numbers] Check this out.
Erin: All that color.
Michael: Look at that. Triple your investment by January.
Andy: Anyone can just throw numbes up on a chart. What are you doing to make it happen?
Ryan: Well, earlier today, I was emailing someone by the name of John Legend.
Michael: There you go.
Andy: You have his email?
Ryan: A lot of these guys are just Mac.com, @ their website, whatever. We get that guy WUPHFing, it's all over.
Stanley: I want my money back.
Michael: Do not talk like that, Stanley.
Pam: Ryan, just tell us your plan.
Ryan: Okay, all right. I know what you wanna see. I'll be right back.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [hits the back of a Dunder-Mifflin Delivery Truck with his hand] Hey kids, was that fun?
Kids: Yeah!
Dwight: All Right!
Kid: I wanna go on it again.
Dwight: Oh, I bet you do. You know what? When I was a little kid, they couldn't get me off the hayride! But it's gonna cost you three more bucks. [kid gives him three more bucks]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Wow! This brings back memories. Hay stacking, hay throwing... and at the end of it all, one lucky boy would be crowned Hay King. I always wanted to be Hay King. The world shines on Mose.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: [waiting for Dwight at their meeting place, slams the door shut]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: Where have you been?! I've been waiting.
Dwight: Uh, can we move this to the end of the day?
Angela: No, I--I think you should make time for it.
Little Girl: I found the needle in the haystack!
Dwight: Hey, congratulations! Do you know what your prize is?
Little Girl: I don't know!
Dwight: Nothing. Life Lesson? Some tasks are not worth doing.
Angela: Dwight?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: WUPHF T-Shirts. Who wants one? Just imagine that you're at spring break, Daytona Beach.
Michael: Here we go.
Ryan: Everyone's like, "Hey Dude, whats up with all the hotties in the WUPHF shirts?" Or, Uh, "Hey, what's up with that helicopter? It's Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael: "It's Ryan the WUPHF guy!"
Ryan: "Yo, Ry from WUPHF!"
Michael: "He's up there."
Ryan: "What's he dropping?! Wow, what's falling on us, man?!" WUPHF condoms! 50,000 condoms out of the sky!
Michael: Look at that! He threw 'em on the ground!
Daryl: Look, this is a marketing campgain. You got nine days. Let's say you do get the money. What are you going to do with it?
Ryan: The first lesson of Silicon Valley, actually, is that you only think about the user, the experience. You actually don't think about the money. Ever.
Andy: That sounds weird.
Michael: No, it's not weird, Andy, and you know what else? We have an offer from Washington University. So monetize that.
Kelly: [walks in] Are you guys meeting about WUPHF? You know that that was my idea, right?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kelly: I said to Ryan, "I try to call you, and you don't have your phone. I try to I.M. You, and you're not online. I wish there was a way that I could do everything all at once, and I could just be like this little dog going, 'Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!'"
Ryan: Baby, Baby, Baby--
Kelly: I think I'm gonna stay here.
Ryan: No, no, no, no, no.
Kelly: I do, I do. This isn't right.
Ryan: I help you with your things and you help me with my things.
Kelly: But I--it's not right.
Ryan: [whispering] I got this, it's okay. Don't worry about this.
Daryl: Is it any particular branch of Washington University?
Ryan: The Washington University Public Health Fund.
Daryl: W.U.P.H.F.
Pam: Oh, God!
Daryl: They only want it for the initials.
Ryan: The domain name. Yeah, they do.
Pam: I move we sell!
Micheal: What?
Daryl: Yeah, sell!
Andy: Yeah, sell.
Pam: Sell.
Stanley: Get us out of this!
Ryan: Have some faith in this idea!
Daryl: If everybody wants to sell, we sell, right?
Michael: I won't sell. And you know what? Ryan and I have the majority of shares. Isn't that right?
Ryan: Yes. You alone do, actually.
Michael: I--yes. We're not selling. I will not sell.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Kevin: [runs to and inside the Hay Place maze] Awesome!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Man: Do you mind if we share this bale?
Angela: Sure.
Man: There's no charge to sit on the hay, is there?
Angela: Probably.
Man: I mean, wouldn't you think the ten dollars to build your own broom would include the hay and not just the instructions?
Angela: Mm-Hmm.
Man: I mean, I'm starting to think this guy is just trying to make money off the holiday.
Angela: Yeah, instead of Hay Place, it should be pay place. [man laughs] Don't laugh at me.
Man: No, no, no, I wasn't--I was just laughing at your joke.
Angela: Oh.
Man: Pay Place.
Angela: Mm. Yeah, so we can celebrate Thanksgiving-Me-Your-Money Day. [both laugh]
Man: That's humorous.
Angela: Thank You.
Kevin: [stuck in the maze, says to some kids running around in the maze] You guys know how to get out? [kids run away screaming]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Hi, Michael.
Michael: Can't talk, saving the planet.
Pam: Oh, we don't recycle.
Michael: We Don't? Well, why have I been separating the trash into whites and colors?
Pam: I'm sure no one asked you to do that.
Michael: [throws the sack of garbage onto the floor] Eight Years.
Pam: Listen, I know you really like Ryan--
Michael: No, I won't even consider it.
Pam: Michael, I... [sits down] I hate to say this, but... you know this special bond that you've always felt with Ryan, where, like, you're best friends or you're his mentor or something?
Michael: Right, Yes, yeah. Best friend/mentor.
Pam: Michael, I think that feeling only goes one way. And I think that Ryan knows that, and he's taking advantage of you.
Michael: I think you are wrong.
Pam: And there are a lot of other people in this office who have money at stake. Other people you care about.
Michael: You may be right. I may be crazy.
Pam: Don't.
Michael: I'm just saying that I think I agree with your point.
Pam: Yeah, but in a jokey way where you're gonna start singing.
Michael: I thought it might make me feel better.
Pam: Okay. Go Ahead.
Michael: [singing] But it just may be a lunatic... [stops singing] No.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: [hovering over Meredith's desk] Oh, nice, wasting time, here we go.
Meridith: Hey, back off. It's Solitare.
Creed: Hey, kid--hear you're looking for work.
Jim: Talk to me.
Creed: How far can you reach those Lovely long arms of yours? [Jim reaching his arms out as far as he can go] Eh, put 'em down. How long can you hold that pretty little breath of yours? [Jim inhales] Good.
Gabe: Hey, Jim? Are you distracting these people?
Creed: We're working. [Jim still holding his breath]
Gabe: Can you at least try to look busy? [Jim Exhales]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: [listening to and editing Jo's book on tape]
Jo: "The moment Darla put the cupcake in her mouth, her daddy pulled her aside and said, "You're Too Fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat." The next time I saw David Geffen was at the buffalo club. "I love you, you Gay b*st*rd," I said. "You Gay b*st*rd," I s--. "Gay Ba--" "Gay B--""
[SCENE_BREAK]
Ryan: Michael, how's it going, bro?
Michael: Good, good, bro.
Ryan: Hey, thanks so much for having my back out there.
Michael: Always have your back. So, any ideas on how we can get over this nine-day hump here?
Ryan: I have nothing but ideas. The thing is, they all require money.
Michael: Nine days, though. That's, like...
Ryan: Look, I know I've tapped you so hard.
Michael: Yes, you have tapped this. Hard.
Ryan: [laughs] Oh, you are funny, Michael. You--people, people don't give you enough credit.
Michael: Maybe I could take a second mortgage on my condo.
Ryan: Well, a lot of people are doing that. And there don't seem to be any consequences. And they say the rates have never been lower.
Michael: So you would think that's a good idea for me to do?
Ryan: Think about this. You and me on a private plane flown by our private pilot--
Michael: Mm-Hmm.
Ryan: Eating our private meal cooked by our private chef.
Michael: Yeah, well, we never even have dinner now, so...
Ryan: We totally should.
Michael: Tonight?
Ryan: I gotta work on this.
Michael: Oh right. What am I saying? Rain Check.
Ryan: Yeah. [Michael closes the door]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: And now, by show of applause, We will crown this year's hay king. All in favor of Purebred. [crowd applauds] Put your hands together for... Mixed Bread. [crowd applauds] And let's hear it for... Purebred. [crowd applauds] Mm. It appears we have a three-way tie. I have no choice but to pick the Hay King myself. I pick... [all three contestants begging for Dwight to pick them] Me! I am your Hay King! All Hail your Hay King! [drowd leaves disgusted, as Dwight's worker claps]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Did I truck 300 bales of hay to a parking lot to rectify some childhood disappointment? Yes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Man: So, if I were to call Dunder Mifflin and ask for Miss Angela Martin, would I get through to you?
Angela: You would. And if I were to call your house and ask for your wife, would I get through to you?
Man: My wife passed away a few years ago.
Angela: How tragic. Very sorry to hear that.
Man: Thank You.
Kevin: [still stuck in maze] Help! Hello?! Oh! Help![runs around the maze]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Daryl: [opens the door the Ryan's office, grabs him by the shirt, pulls him out of his chair] Consider it a WUPHF in person. [shoves Ryan down to a chair]
Andy: Your doing the wrong thing. You're gonna lose Michael's investment. You're gonna lose ours.
Daryl: You got this crazy opportunity to get our money back. Tell Mike To Sell.
Andy: If you tell Michael to sell, he'll sell.
Ryan: I'm betting on myself.
Stanley: It's a bad bet.
Michael: Hello.
Ryan: Hey. It's an ambush here. Nobody here believes in this company. Will you tell them they're wrong?
Daryl: It's not that we don't believe in the company, We don't believe in you.
Andy: All those in favor of selling, say aye. [all say "aye"]
Michael: I. Do not agree to sell, which is to say nay.
Daryl: What is wrong with you? What happened to you in High School?
Stanley: Michael, are you that blind?
Michael: I'm not blind! I know exactly who he is. He is selfish and lazy and image-obsessed, and he is a bad friend. [all seem to be in agreenment] And he's also clever. And he shoots incredibly high. And he may just make it. But you know what? Even if he doesn't, I would rather go broke betting on my people, than get rich all by myself, on some island like a castaway. And there is no middle ground.
Andy: You're gonna lose all of our money.
Michael: Only if he fails. And you know what? Ryan, I believe in you. Just like I believe in all of you. You have nine days to save everybody's money.
Ryan: Oh... Uh, That's a lot of pressure. I--I'm gonna need some more time.
Michael: You can't have it.
Ryan: Okay. I won't let you down. [Ryan goes back into his office and shuts the door]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Angela? [slides open the door] Angela! [see's a note on the door, reads it, and then crumples it up]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Michael: The world sends people your way... Ryan came to me through a temp agency. Andy was transferred here. No idea where Creed came from. The point is you just have to play with the cards that you're dealt. [camera pans to different people in the office] Jim, that guy is an ace. Dwight is my King up my sleeve. Phyllis is my old maid. Oscar is my queen. That's easy. Gimme a hard one. That's what Oscar said. Toby is the instruction card you throw away. Pam's a solid seven. And yeah, you know what? Ryan is probably, like, a two. But sometimes twos can be wild. So watch out. And I am obviously the joker. So... [phone rings, computer chimes, etc.] That's Uh...
Robotic Voice: WUPHF, from Ryan Howard. Decided to sell company. Thanks, bro. Hell of a ride.
Michael: Thank God.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: [puts his phone in his coffee mug and calls Gabe]
Gabe: Gabe Lewis.
Jo: [Jim's edited version of her book on tape][/b]: Now listen here, Gabe, you're too fat. No one's gonna like you if you're too fat. I made some changes to my book. See if you like them.
Gabe: Well, Jo--
Jo: Now, I love reading, and I hate being interrupted. Shut up and listen, you gay b*st*rd. Chapter One. I was born, not into luxary, nor poverty. [Gabe looks through Jo's book] But into adversity, and for that, I thank the Lord. My Father was a man. That's all we can know. After I learned to ride a bike, there was no stopping me. I would ride up Magnolia Stree and down Azalea Lane. Which would later become my--
Jim: [opens door to Gabe's office] All right, good night, Gabe. Just wanted to say thanks again. [Gabe motions that he's on the phone] 'Cause I really think I made good use of my day, oh! Sorry.
Jo: I've always been a fighter. And Fate has obliged me with plenty of battles, the first being a hard--
|
Plan: A: Michael; Q: Who helps Ryan charm people to invest in his internet company? A: WUPHF.com; Q: What is the name of Ryan's internet company? A: Dwight; Q: Who creates a hay festival in the parking lot? A: the Thanksgiving holiday; Q: What holiday is Dwight's hay festival for? A: Angela; Q: Who meets the State Senator? A: Jim; Q: Who learns of a new Sabre capping policy? A: too much commission; Q: What does the new Sabre capping policy prevent Jim from earning? Summary: Michael helps Ryan by charming people to invest in his internet company, WUPHF.com. Dwight creates a hay festival in the parking lot for the Thanksgiving holiday. While waiting for Dwight, Angela meets the State Senator in the festival. Jim learns of a new Sabre capping policy that prevents him from earning too much commission.
|
Act 1 Scene 1 - Frasier's Apartment
Fade in. Martin is watching television, Daphne is sitting at the dining table. The doorbell rings and Frasier comes in from the bedrooms.
Frasier: Oh, Dad, you're going to have to clear out. Daphne and I are meeting with my lawyer.
Martin turns off the TV.
Martin: I don't know why you have to go with that high-priced lady instead of the guy I recommended.
Frasier: Please. Donny is suing me for emotional distress. Your guy wanted me to limp into court wearing a neck brace and claiming not to speak English.
Martin: Hey, you don't keep an office in the mall for twelve years without knowin' a few tricks.
Frasier opens the door to reveal Niles.
Frasier: Oh, hi, Niles.
Niles: Frasier, I'm sorry I'm late. Is Abby here yet?
Frasier: No, she's on her way.
Niles takes off his coat and hangs it up.
Niles: These lawsuits have me so rattled. You know me, Frasier, normally I'm unflappable.
Frasier: Niles, if you flapped any more, we'd have to lower you to half mast on Veteran's Day.
Niles gives him a dark look.
Niles: Sherry, anyone?
Frasier: Yes.
Daphne: Yes, please. I know how Niles feels. I'm a nervous wreck about that deposition tomorrow. First time I'm seeing Donny since our wedding day, and he's going to be grilling me under oath.
Frasier: Oh, don't worry. Once Abby preps you, you'll have nothing to worry about.
Martin: I don't understand you guys. Instead of you each hiring expensive lawyers, why don't you just settle?
Frasier: Because we didn't do anything wrong, Dad! Daphne merely changed her mind about getting married and although Donny is entitled to his pain, he is not entitled to sue everyone under the sun.
Martin: [rising] You guys are nuts. Donny's a pit bull. Why don't you come up with some cash, put it on a stick and shove it into his cage?
Frasier: Oh, yes, thank you, Dad.
Martin: And don't even try to get the stick back. Just run.
He walks off to his bedroom.
Frasier: You know, Dad's fear notwithstanding, I have every confidence in Abby and her litigious prowess.
Daphne: Yes, we've all seen you admiring her prowess.
The doorbell rings.
Frasier: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about. Frasier answers the door. It is Abby.
Frasier: Oh, hi Abby. Come on in. You know Niles and Daphne, of course.
Abby: Oh, yes, hello, Daphne, Niles.
Frasier: Here, let me take your coat.
Abby: Thank you.
Frasier: Oh, my. That suit is very becoming on you. Is it new?
Abby: Yes it is. And thank you for noticing, Frasier.
Frasier: No, thank you for being so, ah... noticeable.
Niles: [aside to Daphne] Do I sound like that?
Daphne: Yeah, but it's cute when you do it.
Frasier: Please, make yourself comfortable. Well, we're anxious to hear your, your battle plan. We realize it's going to be tough, but we're ready for a fight.
Abby: Donny's dropped the lawsuits.
Frasier: What?
Daphne: When did this happen?
Abby: He just called me on my cell phone now. I took the liberty of calling your lawyer, Daphne, to let him know the good news, too.
Daphne: Thank you.
Niles: So, what happens now?
Abby: Nothing. You've won. Congratulations.
Niles: I can't believe it.
Daphne: Did Donny say why he's dropping the case?
Abby: No, he did not. But we can call and ask him if you'd like.
The others all quickly say "No," "Not necessary," etc.
Frasier: You know, I think I know why he dropped the case: because I have the finest lawyer in all of Seattle.
Niles: Hear, hear.
Frasier: [rising] Thank you for a job well done.
He holds out his arms. Abby gets up and hugs him.
Abby: Oh, my pleasure. Congratulations. He walks around as Daphne gets up and hugs Abby.
Daphne: Thank you, Abby.
Abby: Congratulations. You're welcome, Daphne.
Niles then gives her a hug.
Niles: Congratulations.
Abby: Thank you, Niles.
Niles: Thanks.
Abby: Absolutely.
Frasier has followed them around and is standing in front of her once more.
Abby: Oh, you again! They laugh and hug again.
Abby: Well, I must say, I was actually looking forward to getting a shot at Donny in court, but for your sake, I'm glad things ended this way.
Frasier: Yes, well, you know, there's no reason this has to be goodbye. I think a celebratory dinner is in order.
Abby: Well, great. Give me a call and we'll see when all of us can get together.
Frasier: Yes, yes, all of us. Yes, well, you know, our schedules are really rather complicated. We're rarely available together.
Niles: I'm open.
Daphne: Any time's good for me.
Frasier: Well, then, dinner it is.
Abby: Great. I hate to rush, but I've got a mountain of paperwork.
Frasier: Well, then, let me walk you to the elevator.
She grabs her purse as Frasier gets her coat.
Abby: All right. That's very sweet, Frasier. Thank you for escorting me.
Frasier: Oh, thank you, for being so... escortable.
Daphne: Bye, Abby.
Abby: Goodbye.
Niles: Congratulations again.
Frasier and Abby go out the front. Resett to - the hall. Frasier helps Abby on with her coat.
Frasier: Abby, I just wanted to say how pleasurable it's been getting to know you.
The elevator opens and Abby gets in and pushes a button.
Abby: The pleasure's been all mine.
Frasier: Oh, you know, I'd hate to see my relationship with you end, uh, right now. I just...
The doors start to close.
Abby: Frasier, if you're going to ask me out, you better hurry.
Frasier: Will you go out with me?
Abby: Yes!
The doors close on her word. Frasier grins happily and turns back to his door. FADE OUT.
Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment Fade in. Martin is reading, Frasier opens the door to Roz.
Frasier: Oh, hi, Roz.
Roz: Hey, guys!
Martin: Hey, Roz.
Frasier: Come on in, I'll get you situated.
Roz: Thanks for letting me tape your CDs.
Martin: Since when do you two have the same taste in music?
Roz: Actually, it's for Alice. I read an article that said listening to classical music makes toddlers smarter. Something about making their brain bigger, or wider... I don't know.
Frasier: I believe the word you're looking for is "smartified."
Roz: Oh, yeah? Well guess which word I'm looking for now.
Frasier: Very funny. Actually, I have the perfect piece to start
Alice off with: it's Beethoven's Sonata in C-Sharp Minor. I've laid out a selection of CDs that I think will be appropriate. I'm sorry, I don't have time to put together a comprehensive program for you. But actually, Dad and I have our celebratory dinner tonight with Abby. You know, Dad, actually, you should get ready to go.
Martin: I thought I was ready.
Frasier: Think tie!
Martin pulls a clip-on out of his jacket pocket.
Martin: I'm way ahead of ya.
Roz: Hey, you've been spending a lot of time "celebrating" with this lawyer.
Frasier: Oh, yes, yes. Well, actually, we've been out a couple of times. I'm really rather taken with her. She has a very playful side. She took me miniature golfing last night.
Martin: Oh sure. When she takes you it's playful, when I take you it ends up as a story in the high school literary magazine.
The doorbell rings. Frasier goes to answer it.
Frasier: Dad, please, "Through the Clown's Mouth Darkly" took second in the all-city fiction contest that year.
He opens the door. It is Niles holding a flower box.
Niles: Hello.
Frasier: Hello, Niles.
Niles hands him some envelopes as Daphne comes in.
Niles: Frasier, these are for you. Your doorman gave them to me. Apparently some of your mail went to the wrong box. And these are for you, my love.
He hands the flower box to Daphne.
Daphne: Oh, Niles, you spoil me.
Niles: I picked them myself.
She opens the box and pulls out large cookies on flower stems.
Daphne: Ooh, Niles, cookies.
Niles: Sweets for my sweet.
Daphne: Let's go put these in some milk.
They head for the kitchen.
Niles: Hey, I was just going to say that!
Daphne: No you weren't.
Niles: I was, I swear.
Daphne: OK, this is gettin' spooky.
The go to the kitchen. Frasier is reading the mail.
Frasier: Well.
Martin: What is it?
Frasier: I just opened Abby's bill. It seems... awfully high. I guess this must be the going rate.
He hands it to Martin.
Martin: Whoa!
Frasier: I think Abby is worth every penny.
Martin: Well, she better be, because Daphne's lawyer only charged half this much.
Frasier: Well, that doesn't seem right, does it? I mean, they did the same amount of work...
Martin: Come on, Fras, Abby isn't the first lawyer to pad a bill.
Frasier: Well maybe not, but you know, Abby is not that kind of lawyer.
Martin: Oh, what world are you livin' in? They're all "that kind of lawyer."
Frasier: I admit four thousand dollars does seem rather high for phone consultations. Who the hell's she talking to?
Martin: All her friends, braggin' about the new sucker she's got on the line.
Roz bursts out laughing. FADE OUT.
Scene 3 - The Restaurant Fade in. They are all seated around a table.
Niles: This restaurant has a wonderful Roquefort ravioli.
Daphne: I kind of had my heart set on lobster. Come and help me pick one out.
Niles: I was just getting up to do that!
Daphne: No you weren't.
Niles: I was too.
Both: Spooky!
Frasier: So, Abby, you happen to get any interesting e-mails today?
Abby: Yes I did. But none that I feel comfortable discussing in front of your father.
Martin: Hey, Abby, you'll like this one, we used to tell it in the
precinct: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Abby: I don't know. It depends on how many cops planted it there?
Martin looks a bit miffed.
Frasier: Thrust and parry, Dad! Abby's cell phone rings and she gets it out.
Abby: Excuse me. [into phone] Abby Michaels. Hold on. [to Frasier] It's a client.
Abby clicks the timer on her watch.
Martin: [sotto voice to Frasier] Startin' the meter, huh?
Abby: I've already filed that motion, it's up to them, now. ... No, no, no. I don't think that they would try that. But if you like, I can call them, or better yet, I can send them a letter just so we're on the record. OK, bye now.
She puts the cell phone away.
Abby: Sorry. Where were we?
Martin: [tapping his watch] Aren't you forgettin' somethin'?
Abby: Oh, my goodness, you're right. It's getting very late and I haven't even looked at the menu yet. My, so many choices. What are you guys having?
Martin: Well, I'm pretty sure someone's gettin' scrod...
Daphne and Niles come back and take their seats as the waiter pours the champagne.
Abby: So how were the lobsters?
Daphne: They were too cute to eat. I'm having the veal.
Abby: Well, I propose a toast: to frivolous lawsuits and the wonderful, charming clients they bring together.
Niles: Well, hear, hear.
Frasier: Abby, I'm sorry to spoil the mood, it's just... your client.
Abby: Oh, right. Thanks for reminding me.
She shuts off her watch and makes a note in her day planner.
Niles: Oh, I don't believe it. Donny just walked in. The others all turn.
Niles: I said don't look!
Frasier: No, you did not!
Niles: Can you imagine anything more embarrassing than seeing us here tonight?
Abby: Your menu's on fire.
Niles: Well, yes, that would be embarrassing... OH!
They all try to put it out.
Frasier: No, not in the Dom Perignon.
Niles: Careful.
Abby finally grabs it and pushes it into the ice and water in the wine bucket.
Frasier: Oh, thank God.
Donny: Hi, Guys.
He comes over. They all make noises of greeting.
Donny: Daphne.
Daphne: Hello, Donny.
Donny: Niles.
Niles: Hello Donny.
Donny: Look, I realize you guys must be celebrating, but do you have to start a bonfire?
The others try to laugh this off.
Niles: Oh, celebrating?
Martin: He thinks we're celebrating.
Donny: Look, I know this is a little awkward, but I understand, don't worry. In fact, I'm celebrating something myself.
Abby: Oh, you won a big case, Donny?
Donny: No. I, uh, I got engaged.
They are stunned, Daphne especially so.
Frasier: Really? Boy, that's good news.
Daphne: Yes, yes it certainly is.
Donny: Thank you. In fact, she's sitting right over there.
He points to a woman at another table.
Donny: Wave, Nancy. Show 'em the rock. She waves and shows her ring.
Frasier: Lovely.
Martin: Well, that's a big one.
Niles: Congratulations, Donny.
Donny: Thank you. I was representing her in her divorce and we realized that we were... perfect... for each other. And, I know it's very sudden, but that's fate for you, huh?
Frasier: Well, good luck.
Donny: Thanks. I should get back to Nancy, and you guys enjoy your dinner. And, incidentally, the fire exits are located there and there.
He makes the flight attendant motion with his arms. Everyone laughs nervously and he goes over to the other table.
Martin: Boy, that was weird.
Daphne: Now we know why he dropped the lawsuit.
Abby: Yes, he's in love.
Daphne: Or on the rebound.
Abby: Well, either way, it's good news for all of you. In fact let's order another bottle of champagne. And by the way, dinner is on me, or rather, the firm.
Frasier: Oh, no, no. I couldn't let you do that, Abby. I wanted to pay for dinner.
Martin: Don't worry, you are.
Frasier gives him a sour look. FADE OUT. End of Act 1 Act 2
GOING UP
Scene 1 - Frasier's Building Fade in. Frasier is waiting for the elevator in the lobby. Niles comes up behind him.
Niles: Oh, Frasier, I was just coming up to see you.
Frasier: Oh, hi, Niles. Say, you're looking a little green around the gills.
Niles: Please, don't even mention gills. The Yale Club had its annual luncheon at Vashon Island, all seafood.
Frasier: Ah, didn't agree with you?
Niles: Oh, no, the food was fine. It was the four-foot swells coming back on the ferry that didn't agree with me. I'm afraid I was forced to return my sea bass to the sea.
Frasier: Actually, I had sort of a rough day myself. I can't stop thinking about the bill Abby sent me.
Niles: Oh?
Frasier: Yes, well, after witnessing her rather slipshod record keeping last night, I, I can't help feeling I'm getting ripped off. So, I fired off a strongly worded e-mail today, insisting on a point-by-point accounting of my bill.
The elevator arrives and they get on.
Reset to: Inside the Elevator.
Niles: Oh, good idea. Nothing cements a relationship like calling the girl a crook.
Frasier: Speaking of relationships, how about Donny's decision to get engaged? My God, talk about classic rebound behavior.
Niles: Classic. Is it just me, or is this elevator swaying?
Frasier: Certainly not the wisest decision Donny could have made at this point. You know, maybe somebody should have a talk with him.
Niles: Stop! Don't even think about it. Right now the only thing Donny needs is to be left alone.
The elevator comes to a stop, Niles reaches for the wall. When the doors open, Daphne is standing there.
Frasier: Oh, hi, Daph.
Daphne: Hello.
He goes into the apartment.
Niles: Hello. He kisses her and she hurries onto the elevator.
Niles: Where are you off to?
Daphne: I've got to see Donny.
Niles gives a little nod, then grabs for the door and gets on the elevator with her.
Niles: Why in the world do you have to see Donny? The doors close.
Daphne: I'm worried about him. He's making such a rash decision. I just want to make sure he's OK.
The elevator starts down and Niles jerks and sways a bit.
Daphne: It's not just about that. We never really had a proper goodbye, and I feel bad leaving things the way we did.
Niles: [putting his hand on hers] What you're looking for is... [he makes a dry heave] ...closure.
Daphne: Yeah, I knew you'd understand. [She looks closer at him.] Niles, are you feeling OK?
Niles: Oh, yes. I feel fine.
Daphne: Well, in that case, when I get back this will all be behind us. We can celebrate! I'll make us a nice big English country
dinner: steak and kidney pudding.
He looks less than thrilled at this. When the elevator stops, Daphne gets off and Roz rushes up.
Roz: Hold the elevator! Hey, Daphne. Niles! I need your opinion.
Niles: Oh, really, I was just about to...
She pulls him back onto the elevator.
Roz: I need some more classical music to tape for Alice.
Niles: What?
The elevator starts and he throws his hands out, off balance. She pulls a piece of paper from her purse.
Roz: Yeah. Frasier gave me this list, but it has over three hundred names on it. Who do you think is best? [She holds the paper out.]
Niles: I would really rather not read right now.
Roz: Oh, oh, off the top of your head. Alice really loves those up-tempo numbers. Last night we were listening to "Peer Gynt," and she started doing all these little ballerina moves. You should have seen her, she was so cute! She would sway back and forth to the music and do these little spins and jumps. I was doing them with her but I started getting so dizzy. The room went around and around and around...
Niles has watched her, looking less and less stable. The elevator stops and the doors open.
Roz: Oh, never mind, I'll ask Frasier. As she steps off the elevator, Frasier passes her to get on.
Roz: Frasier, where are you going? What about the CD?
Frasier: I'm sorry. Take what you like and mark it down on the sign- out sheet.
He grabs Niles and pulls him back onto the elevator.
Frasier: Niles, thank God you're here. Come with me. Listen, there was a message from Abby on the machine. She says she needs to see me right away.
The door closes and Niles again sways as it starts.
Frasier: She must have gotten my e-mail. God, the message was so short that I can't really tell what sort of mood she's in. I guess if she had been really angry, she would have left some indication on the machine. Well, then again, being a savvy lawyer, you know, she might not want to tip her hand. Well, whatever happens, I feel confident that I made the right decision.
As the elevator comes to a stop, Niles clutches at his shoulder.
Frasier: Oh, thanks, Niles. You've been a support. He gets off the elevator. Martin is there holding a paper bag.
Frasier: Hi, Dad.
Martin: Hey.
Niles again tries to leave the elevator.
Martin: Niles, great news: Tony the chili guy got his license back. Check it out!
He puts the bag under Niles' nose. Niles very carefully and slowly walks away. FADE OUT.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene 2 - The Courthouse Fade in. Donny is standing in front of one of the rooms. A man comes up to him.
Donny: Oh, you have the rings?
Best Man: [patting his pocket] Right here. You nervous?
Donny: Well, gee, yeah. I'm excited. I can't believe Nancy's gonna be my wife after all these... weeks.
The friend waves towards the room.
Donny: OK. He starts to follow, but notices Daphne has come up.
Donny: Daphne, what are you doing here?
Daphne: Your receptionist told me you'd left for court.
Donny: Actually, this is not a good time.
Daphne: I know. You're probably in the middle of a big trial so I'll be brief. Donny, after seeing you at the restaurant last night, I want you to know I'm worried about you.
Donny: OK, this is about Nancy?
Daphne: I'm sure she's a lovely person. And I probably have no right saying this, but I hope you're not rushing into anything.
Donny: Uh, look, Daphne...
Daphne: I know, I know. I'm way out of line here. But, I still care what happens to you. Take the time to get to know each other. Believe me, you'll be glad you did when the day comes you finally do get married.
Nancy comes up in a white outfit and carrying a bouquet.
Daphne: Well, what do you know, it's here. Donny kisses Nancy and guides her to the room.
Donny: I'll meet you inside. I'll be one second, all right? Nancy goes in.
Daphne: I'm so sorry. My timing's so terrible.
Donny: Not really. If you hang around a few minutes, I'm sure we can get you on the wedding video.
Daphne: I really had no idea you were getting married so soon.
Donny: Well, call me crazy, but I've got a prejudice against long engagements.
Donny's mother comes up and hugs him.
Donny: Mom.
Mrs. Douglas: Oh, Sweety, you look so handsome. [She notices Daphne and gasps.] It's you!
Daphne: Hello, Mother Douglas.
Mrs. Douglas: MRS. Douglas. You have some nerve showing up here.
Donny: Mom.
Mrs. Douglas: You can beg all you want, but he's not coming back.
Donny: Mom, Mom.
Mrs. Douglas: He's done crying his eyes out over you.
Donny: Mom, Mom, she knows, she knows.
Mrs. Douglas: Why don't you go back...?
Donny shoos her through the doors.
Donny: Look, Daphne, I don't mean to rush you, but is there anything else?
Daphne: Just this: I never really said how sorry I was about what happened. I really am.
Donny: Well, Daphne, if it puts your mind at ease, I know what I'm doing. I'm happy, I'm ready to go on with my life. So...
The Best Man sticks his head out the door, motioning to Donny.
Donny: Yeah, I know. I'm... [to Daphne] Goodbye.
Daphne: Donny.
He turns in the doorway. She reaches out and straightens his tie.
Daphne: Congratulations.
Donny: Thank you, Daphne.
He goes inside. Daphne looks a bit melancholy and walks off.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene 3 - Abby's Office Fade in. Abby is at her computer with a technician. Frasier comes in.
Abby: Oh, there you are.
Frasier: I got your message. You sounded kind of urgent so I came right down. I suppose you read my e-mail.
Abby: No. Actually my computer's been down all day. But if it's anything like the last one we'll know what overheated my hard drive.
Technician: Give it a few minutes to reconnect to the server and then it will be up and running.
Abby: Thank you.
The technician leaves.
Frasier: So, ah, why did you call me? Abby closes the door.
Abby: Well, Frasier, I thought we could celebrate.
Frasier: Really. Celebrate what?
Abby: Well, this morning I was called down to the conference room and all the partners were there. I thought they were going to yell at me because they found out I'd given you a discount, but instead, they told me I made partner.
Frasier: You gave me a discount? I mean, I mean congratulations.
They hug.
Abby: Thank you.
Frasier: Oh, my God, you certainly deserve it. [He pulls back.] What kind of discount?
Abby: You didn't even notice, did you?
Frasier: No, no I did notice. I did. I swear to God I noticed. I even pointed it out to Dad.
Abby: That's very sweet.
She kisses him.
Frasier: You're the sweet one. They kiss again, then she steps back.
Abby: I'm not always... [she pulls her top open and off] ...sweet.
Frasier: Oh, Abby.
The embrace and start necking.
Computer: You have e-mail! Frasier gets a panicked look.
Abby: I'm not reading them! The office is closed.
Frasier: That's a very good decision. That is partner-level thinking.
Abby: Wait! What am I thinking? You sent me another one of those naughty e-mails, haven't you? Maybe we should act this one out.
She goes to her computer.
Frasier: No, no! Actually, I just forwarded you an ad for reduced mortgage rates.
Abby: Why are you blushing, Frasier?
Frasier: Because they're embarrassingly low.
Abby: This says "Re: Our Relationship".
Frasier: All right, you're on to me. Just come here and sit down and relax. And I will read it to you. Prepare to be... scandalized.
He sits her in a chair and goes around the desk to the computer.
Frasier: "Dear Abby, I read your column every week." Kidding. Now, here's the real stuff, now. Um, "I'm, ah, lying here in bed and I can't stop thinking about you."
Abby: Oh, this is getting good.
Frasier: Oh, you like that, do you? Uh, "Your golden hair cascades down your bare shoulders and I kiss the curve at the back of your neck."
Abby: I'm very lonely over here.
She gets up and walks towards him. He hits a key and there is a beep from the computer.
Frasier: Oh, gosh, I deleted it by accident.
Abby: Oh, no, that's too bad. I really wanted to hear the rest of that.
Frasier: Well, you know what? We can write a new ending together. But there's no need to rush. We'll just start very slowly, at the beginning. And then, we'll move, gently, into the middle. And then I'm sure you'll want to add a few plot twists of your own.
He takes off his jacket, tosses it on the floor and sits on the couch. There is a beep from the printer and Abby takes a sheet from it.
Frasier: And finally, we'll just...what are you reading?
Abby: Your e-mail. You printed it by mistake. You think I'm ripping you off?!
Frasier: No! No, no! I did not use those words! Actually, I, I just took issue with a couple of figures.
Abby: And you come in here and lie to me?!
Frasier: Well, "lie" is a very strong word.
Abby: Well, so is "chiseler".
Frasier: Abby, I realize I've made a terrible mistake, and I wrote some very harsh things. But, to my credit, I did attempt to delete it before you got a chance to read it.
She opens the door.
Abby: Get out.
Frasier: Oh, come on! Look at the two of us. We can't stay mad at each other.
Abby: I said get out!
He walks out, she picks his jacket up.
Abby: And to think that I almost slept with you. She throws the jacket at him and slams the door.
CUT TO: the hallway, where Frasier has the jacket on his head.
Frasier: You still can!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Niles comes up to Frasier's apartment, eating licorice. He rings the bell and Roz opens the door. Looking worried she points him to Martin, who is on the couch, looking ill. The chili container is on the coffee table next to him. Niles walks over and offers him some licorice. Martin rolls off the couch and gets to his feet with his cane, struggling to get away.
|
Plan: A: an expensive lawyer; Q: What kind of lawyer did Frasier hire? A: the lawsuit; Q: What does Donny drop? A: a date; Q: What does Frasier ask Abby out on? A: her bill; Q: What does Frasier feel is overcharged? A: dinner; Q: What meal are they eating when Daphne runs into Donny? Summary: Frasier has hired an expensive lawyer, Abby, to represent him and Daphne in the lawsuit that Donny is bringing against them. Donny drops the suit soon afterwards. Frasier asks Abby out on a date, and she accepts, but when he receives her bill, he cannot help feeling that he is being overcharged. While out at dinner with Frasier, Niles, Martin and Abby, Daphne runs into Donny, who announces that he is engaged again.
|
PLANET OF FIRE
BY: PETER GRIMWADE
Part Four
Running time: 24:44
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Urgh!
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: There's healing power in one of the volcanic gases. Could be why the Trions constructed the Hall of Fire, some sort of curative centre. I must release the gas flow. Strictly for medicinal purposes, of course. There we are.
ROSKAL: You're doing what Timanov wants.
DOCTOR: Why not, if it saves Malkon's life? Bring him to the Hall of Fire, quickly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
AMYAND: Do you think this is wise?
TURLOUGH: Don't stop them. The Doctor wants to use the gas for its original purpose.
TIMANOV: This is for you, Chosen One. The gift of Logar.
TURLOUGH: Thank you. Wait a minute. I've seen one of these before.
DOCTOR: Excellent.
AMYAND: That flame will burn, not heal.
DOCTOR: There's still a residue of hot gas still to burn off.
DOCTOR: Where did you get this?
TURLOUGH: Timanov gave it to me.
DOCTOR: More gifts from Logar?
TURLOUGH: Yes, from a Trion ship. It's a coded circuit release key. I know the lock it operates.
DOCTOR: Pure numismaton gas. It's quite safe.
DOCTOR: Look.
TURLOUGH: What are you waiting for?
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: There you are.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TIMANOV: Praise be to Logar.
DOCTOR: Logar had very little to do with it.
MALKON: What happened?
DOCTOR: You were shot, but you should be all right now.
TURLOUGH: Assemble the rest of the citizens here. Please, my friend. We need your skills of leadership and organisation. Logar demands it.
TIMANOV: Yes, of course, Chosen One.
DOCTOR: Amyand, I'll need your help as a guide. We must get to the seismic control centre. AMYAND; I'll do my best.
DOCTOR: Turlough, when I've got the TARDIS working, we'll materialise here and take the Sarns on board.
TURLOUGH: That won't be necessary.
DOCTOR: Why?
TURLOUGH: If it's still intact, I think I can operate the main transmitter on my father's ship. That gives us direct access to Trion Communications Executive, and the Custodians will send a rescue ship.
DOCTOR: Couldn't do better.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Just a minute. You were concerned about the Custodians earlier.
TURLOUGH: I'll be all right.
DOCTOR: You are in trouble.
TURLOUGH: The Misos Triangle is the mark of a prisoner, and Sarn is a prison planet for very special people. That's why my father was sent here. If he had lived, he would have been your leader.
AMYAND: Are we Trion prisoners, too?
TURLOUGH: No, you are all that is left of the indigenous population.
[SCENE_BREAK]
MASTER: Miss Brown, Peri, listen to me. There is no way you can escape either from my TARDIS or from the control centre.
PERI: We'll see about that.
MASTER: Help me. I'll spare your life.
PERI: Spare my life? You come out here and say that.
PERI: Who's there?
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Pleasant dreams.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Turlough, how did your family become criminals?
TURLOUGH: There was civil war on my planet. My mother was killed. My father was on the wrong side and was exiled here with my younger brother. I, for my sins, was sent by the regime to Earth.
DOCTOR: But how could they possibly know you've absconded?
TURLOUGH: The Trions have agents on every civilised planet. An agrarian commissioner on Verdon, a tax inspector on Darveg, and a very eccentric solicitor in Chancery Lane. They'll know, all right.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: I'll see you back at the TARDIS.
TURLOUGH: Good luck, Doctor. Come on.
DOCTOR: This must have been a very fertile planet.
AMYAND: When the Trions were here?
DOCTOR: Oh, don't be too hard on them. It's their technology that's maintained the stability of the planet.
AMYAND: You call this stability?
DOCTOR: They did their best. The silver things that were seen on the mountain, they were Trion volcanologists attempting to control the eruptions.
AMYAND: So they could imprison here their own undesirable elements. Like fools, we've tried to make sense of things, inventing legends and myths to explain them away.
DOCTOR: Well, that's at an end. The old order's gone forever. There'll be no more Outsiders, no more Chosen Ones.
AMYAND: And the years that have been wasted.
DOCTOR: With a leader like you, Amyand, your people will soon advance.
TURLOUGH: Come on, we're nearly there.
[SCENE_BREAK]
AMYAND: Which way? There must be an entrance somewhere on this hill. Let's try along here.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TURLOUGH: Somewhere over here.
ROSKAL: We must hurry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Get back!
AMYAND: We're trapped.
PERI: Doctor!
PERI: It's this way. It's in here.
DOCTOR: All right, come on.
PERI: Okay.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: Quickly.
[SCENE_BREAK]
ROSKAL: Is it still working?
TURLOUGH: I don't know. Keep your fingers crossed.
TURLOUGH: The emergency power cells may have decayed. No, we're in luck. (static) There's a lot of geomagnetic interference.
MAN (OOV.): This is Trion Control.
ROSKAL: It's amazing.
MAN (OOV.): This is Trion Control. You're transmitting on an executive frequency. Please state name, rank and identification code.
TURLOUGH: My name is Vislor Turlough, Junior Ensign Commander, identification code VTEC9/12/44.
[SCENE_BREAK]
MASTER: Come, my slave. Revive. We're not defeated yet.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: The seismic control centre. It's impressive. The question is, how effective. Keep an eye on him, would you?
PERI: What are you doing now?
DOCTOR: Trying to slow down the eruption. The Master's interference has caused the seismic machinery to become unstable. If I can override the automatic controller, I can delay the worst of it.
PERI: Can't you stop it?
DOCTOR: I doubt it. The Master's already triggered a massive surge of numismaton gas in the planet's core. It that hits the surface it will disrupt the inhibition circuit altogether. There'll be devastation.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TURLOUGH: At least they're sending a ship.
ROSKAL: They won't punish you.
TURLOUGH: Just so long as they don't send me back to Brendan.
ROSKAL: Where?
TURLOUGH: The worst place in the universe. An English public school on Earth. Come on, let's get back to the others.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: There we are. That should hold back the eruption for a while. Now for the Master.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: There it is, but he could be anywhere.
DOCTOR: Fair exchange is no robbery. The Master's temporal stabiliser.
PERI: Will it fit your machine?
DOCTOR: Oh yes.
[SCENE_BREAK]
MASTER: Revive. Revive, Kamelion!
DOCTOR: How does it feel to get a taste of your own medicine?
MASTER: I live, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Albeit in somewhat reduced circumstances.
MASTER: I shall soon be restored to profit from my research.
DOCTOR: Ah, you're experimenting with the Tissue Compression Eliminator.
MASTER: To increase its range. I was building a new and more deadly version.
DOCTOR: You made it too powerful for your own good.
MASTER: A small design problem.
DOCTOR: And a very small Master. That's why you needed Kamelion, isn't it?
MASTER: I've lodged in the mind of that slave since our fateful meeting on Xeriphas.
DOCTOR: The scream in the TARDIS. He even felt your pain.
MASTER: Mmm, and came instantly to my help. Now, with the next surge of numismaton gas, all is prepared for my supreme renewal.
AMYAND: Kill him, Doctor.
K-MASTER (OOV.): Get away from the box.
[SCENE_BREAK]
DOCTOR: No need to remind you what will happen if you use that thing in here.
K-MASTER: I don't think that'll be necessary. Now, outside.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: He's let us go.
DOCTOR: He needs to move his TARDIS into the circle of flame. When the next surge comes, he'll be surrounded by restorative gas. Amyand, I want you to go back to Turlough and give him this.
PERI: Look!
PERI: We're trapped.
DOCTOR: No, we're not. Amyand, your turn to play Logar.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TURLOUGH: Your people must go to the ruin.
SORASTA: To the ruin? Why?
TURLOUGH: That is where the Trion rescue ship will land. Please, you must hurry.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Good luck!
PERI: Now what are you doing?
DOCTOR: I'm trying to raise some local radiation. If I can induce a sympathetic reaction in Kamelion's psychocircuits, he'll have the electronic equivalent of a heart attack.
PERI: What are you trying to do?
DOCTOR: You'll see. Now, when I give you the word, I want you to push this control here hard to its end stop, all right? Now, get down behind the desk.
K-MASTER: Get away from the controls.
PERI: Doctor.
DOCTOR: He won't dare fire and risk hitting the control system.
PERI: He's a robot. He'll just walk through the flame.
DOCTOR: I hope so. What I've prepared will only work at close range.
K-MASTER: I've warned you, Doctor.
DOCTOR: Just as you say.
DOCTOR: (quietly) Keep down. (loud) Now!
K-FOSTER: Kamelion no good. Sorry.
DOCTOR: I'm sorry too, Kamelion.
K-FOSTER: Destroy me. Please.
DOCTOR: Get back.
DOCTOR: I must try to control the surge of energy the Master's programmed, otherwise the planet could be destroyed before the Sarns can escape.
PERI: How much longer do we have?
DOCTOR: I don't know. I just hope Amyand get the stabiliser to Turlough in time.
PERI: Does Turlough know how to fly the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: He doesn't have to. It's still linked with the Master's. It should materialise in the same relationship as the ruin.
[SCENE_BREAK]
TURLOUGH: We're running out of time. You must leave for the landing ground.
TIMANOV: Leave us in peace. We wish to die with our sins.
TIMANOV: Logar!
AMYAND: On your feet, all of you.
AMYAND: So much for Logar.
TIMANOV: Deception. Another deception, and from a heretic.
TURLOUGH: Where's the Doctor?
AMYAND: Trapped by the fire. He said you must fit this into the TARDIS.
TURLOUGH: The stabiliser. Quickly, to the ruin!
TIMANOV: You will never understand, Amyand. Logar is everywhere. He cares for the faithful.
AMYAND: Perhaps that's why he's in the ship from Trion. Perhaps he wants you to live.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Now that's what I call a real spaceship.
DOCTOR: It's no good to us. The TARDIS is the only way out of here. Hurry up, Turlough.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CAPTAIN: Now, you're sure this is the last batch?
SORASTA: Yes. Yes, it should be.
CAPTAIN: They've no option?
SORASTA: They don't want to leave their own place.
CAPTAIN: Excuse me. [/i]
[SCENE_BREAK]
CAPTAIN: It's customary to salute a senior officer, Turlough.
TURLOUGH: I'm very sorry, but there isn't time for that.
CAPTAIN: Where are you going?
TURLOUGH: The TARDIS is on a time-delayed takeoff. We have fifteen seconds to clear this room.
CAPTAIN: Still running away?
TURLOUGH: If I were running away, I would hardly have asked for a rescue ship from Trion, Captain.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Is this it?
PERI: Oh, no.
DOCTOR: Well done, Turlough. Quickly, into the TARDIS.
MASTER: I shall come from this fire a thousand times stronger, to hound you to the borders of the universe. Bwahahahahaha!
MASTER: Oh! Cancel the ray injection immediately. Doctor! I'll plague you to the end of time for this. Help me! I'll give you anything in creation. Please! Won't you show mercy to your own Argh!!!
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: Doctor? Are you okay?
DOCTOR: Er, yes, of course. I'm all right.
[SCENE_BREAK]
CAPTAIN: We must hurry.
TURLOUGH: Am I under arrest?
CAPTAIN: Do you wish to be?
TURLOUGH: I thought
CAPTAIN: Things have changed on Trion. Former political prisoners are no longer persecuted. You're welcome to return.
CAPTAIN: Or not, as you please.
MALKON: Turlough.
CAPTAIN: We'd best be gone.
TURLOUGH: You go. Go on, please.
TURLOUGH: My exile has been rescinded.
DOCTOR: I'm pleased for you.
TURLOUGH: Doctor, I
DOCTOR: I shall miss you.
TURLOUGH: I don't want to go, Doctor. I've learnt a lot from you. But I have to go back to Trion. It's my home.
DOCTOR: Better to go back while you're a bit of a hero, eh?
TURLOUGH: Thank you for everything, Doctor. Look after him, won't you? He gets into the most terrible trouble.
PERI: Well, I
DOCTOR: Well, I should get you home.
PERI: Oh, must you?
DOCTOR: Oh, yes. Your friends will be worried.
[SCENE_BREAK]
PERI: It's funny, but just before I met you I was saying I wanted to travel, and I've still got three months of my vacation left.
DOCTOR: And you want to travel with me.
PERI: Is that an invitation?
DOCTOR: Actually, it was a question.
PERI: May I?
DOCTOR: Three months, you say?
PERI: That's right.
DOCTOR: All right. Why not.
DOCTOR: Welcome aboard, Peri.
|
Plan: A: his tissue compression eliminator; Q: What does the Master need to bring himself back to full size? A: The Master; Q: Who tries to destroy the Doctor? A: Turlough; Q: Who tells the Doctor why he was exiled to Earth? A: a decision; Q: What does Turlough make? Summary: In order to complete his plan to bring himself back to full size after his accident with his tissue compression eliminator, The Master tries to destroy the Doctor. Turlough makes a decision and tells the Doctor why he was exiled to Earth.
|
"The Man in the Morgue"
[SCENE_BREAK]
TEASER A man's VOICEOVER is heard as video of the destruction left by Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans is shown - destroyed houses, recovery workers in white hazmat suits, piles of waste, overturned cars.
VO: Even all these months after Katrina ravaged the city of New Orleans, human remains are still being found in devastated neighborhoods across the city. Cadaver dogs are being used to search for 2,300 people still unaccounted for. Makeshift morgues still exist in warehouses, schools and churches throughout the area. The camera pulls back to reveal a small television set in just such a makeshift warehouse morgue. INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - ST. GABRIEL, LOUISIANA Dozens of people in blue scrubs are examining cadavers. The camera travels from one room to another with seemingly no end of dead bodies.
VO: Officials are finally beginning to admit what many people have known since the levees broke long ago - many of these people will never be found. MIKE DOYLE, an orderly, is wheeling a body from one room to another. DR. GRAHAM LEGIERE, the medical examiner, joins him as he walks past. They continue their conversation as they walk.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: (pats him on the back) You look tired, Mike. Late night?
MIKE DOYLE: Oh, yeah. Late and nasty.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: Same kinky creature?
MIKE DOYLE: Doc, the girl, Carrie's, a serious perv swerve. Mike pushes the body into an autopsy room. He stops in front of BRENNAN who is writing up her notes in a chart on another body. She smiles listening to the conversation.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: Feeling wrong feels so good.
MIKE DOYLE: It's... (stops when he notices Brennan listening) Hey, sorry, Dr. Brennan.
BRENNAN: No, it's fine. Males often bond by exaggerating sexual conquests.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: Oh, Mike's not exaggerating. This girl is seriously turned on by coffins. Mike will take her into the cooler... MIKE DOYLE: Doc! ZACK'S voice is heard coming from a computer sitting on a portable table behind Mike.
ZACK: (O.S.) Some libidos are inflamed by a proximity to death.
MIKE DOYLE: Who's that?
BRENNAN: My assistant, Zack, back in D.C. Brennan turns the rolling table around so the monitor screen with Zack is facing Mike.
ZACK: Congratulations on your coffin s*x.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: (tries not to laugh) Mm-hmm.
MIKE DOYLE: (to Brennan who is smiling) I've got work to do. Mike exits in a hurry. Brennan goes to the new body and puts on her gloves to get back to work.
ZACK: Some of the information you sent for analysis seems to have come from remains that have already been embalmed.
BRENNAN: (begins examining the body) Bodies were unearthed by the flooding.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB Brennan is now on the computer screen that Zack is watching BRENNAN: They have to be I.D.'d and reburied.
ZACK: I could fly down there to help, Dr. Brennan.
BRENNAN: "A." Tomorrow is my last day. And "B." The s*x on the coffin thing is not guaranteed.
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - AUTOPSY ROOM Brennan examines the decomposed skull of the body. Graham, who is on the other side of the examining table, walks around to the end of it as he talks.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: You know there are reasons they call this the Big Easy even after Hurricane Katrina. He tries to rest his hand on a tray with surgical instruments but knocks the tray off. Everything crashes to the floor. Brennan looks up shocked by the noise and laughs a little. DR. JAMES EMBRY, assistant to the medical examiner, enters the room with a file pertaining to the body Brennan has been looking at. He is followed by DETECTIVE HARDING and a uniformed POLICE OFFICER.
JAMES EMBRY: Dr. Brennan, meet John Doe 361.
DETECTIVE HARDING: We found this one in the 9th Ward sticking out of the mud.
BRENNAN: Good afternoon, Detective Harding. (assessing the body) Male. Forties.
JAMES EMBRY: Badly decomposed. Looks pretty banged up. Embry hands the chart to Graham across the examining table.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Yeah. Be nice to know if it was hurricane, floor or foul play that killed him.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: (glances at chart) Detective Harding, have you been into the cooler lately? Apparently some libidos are inflamed by the proximity to death. Brennan and James shake their head in disbelief.
DETECTIVE HARDING: God, Graham. Thinking about s*x in this place should be illegal, if it ain't already. Detective Harding and the Police Officer leave. Embry is looking at the skull and sees something strange.
BRENNAN: (talking to Sam outside the room) Oh, Sam, I'm going to need X-rays on this one. Embry begins to leave the room and meets SAM POTTER, an orderly, as he is entering.
JAMES EMBRY: (to Sam) Looks like there's something lodged behind his teeth. Sam nods his head and comes into the room to take John Doe 361 for X-rays. Brennan is covering the body with plastic as Graham talks to her.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: (to Brennan) You've been working 48 hours straight. You need the evening off.
BRENNAN: I only have one vacation day left.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: What are you...doing penance for FEMA? Why don't you let me cook you dinner tonight?
BRENNAN: I don't know.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: (pleading) Come on. Sam is finishing wrapping up John Doe 361 with a sheet and almost ready to leave.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: I'm a Southern gentleman, ma'am. Your honor will be respected.
SAM POTTER: (scoffs) Yeah. Sam wheels John Doe 361 out of the room leaving Brennan and Graham alone.
BRENNAN: Tell you what, Graham. We'll see what the X-rays tell us about this one. And then, maybe, we'll get a bite to eat.
GRAHAM LEGIERE: All right.
Flash Cut To: INT. TILED BATHROOM Open with an overhead shot of Brennan lying on the floor. She is unconscious with a pool of blood surrounding her head and dripping from her mouth. Her clothes and hands are covered in it. A blood soaked towel is on the floor next to her and there are blood smears all over the floor.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOTS OF UNKOWN BLOODY TORSO Flash Cut To: INT. TILED BATHROOM Brennan begins to come around, coughing and panting. Camera pans down as she slowly sits up and tries to focus and understand where she is and what has happened. She seems to remember something.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOTS OF BLOODY HANDS AND BLOOD SPLATTERS ON A WALL Flash Cut To: INT. TILED BATHROOM Brennan still doesn't know what's happening. She attempts to get up. When she tries to lift herself by grabbing onto the vanity with her right hand, she groans in pain and slips back to the floor rubbing her hand. She tries again, this time using her forearm to lean on, and stands. She looks in the mirror and is stunned by her appearance.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF A KNIFE ON A TILED FLOOR Flash Cut To: INT. TILED BATHROOM Brennan is still examining her face in the mirror. She reaches for her ear as she notices her earring is missing.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOTS OF GRAHAM SMILING, BLOOD SPLATTERS ON THE BASEBOARD OF A WALL PANNING UP TO THE SHOES OF A PERSON HANGING THERE, A HAND SPIKED TO A WALL THROUGH THE WRIST WITH BLOOD STREAMING DOWN, A PAIR OF LEGS IN JEANS AND BOOTS RUNNING DOWN STAIRS.
Flash Cut To: INT. TILED BATHROOM Overhead shot of Brennan weak and stumbling trying to leave the bathroom to answer the phone ringing in the next room.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF INFINITY SYMBOL ON A WALL WITH BLOOD STREAMING DOWN Flash Cut To: INT. HOTEL SUITE - NEW ORLEANS Brennan picks up the phone and sits on the sofa. A HOTEL CLERK's voice O.S. is heard on the phone.
HOTEL CLERK: Dr. Brennan, your airport shuttle is here.
BRENNAN: (still groggy) What? No. Um. My flight isn't until Thursday.
HOTEL CLERK: Today is Thursday, Dr. Brennan. Brennan takes the phone away from her ear.
BRENNAN: (mumbles to herself) What happened to Wednesday?
HOTEL CLERK: (still on phone) Dr. Brennan? Hello? Are...are you there, Dr. Brennan?
END OF TEASER
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Credits
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ACT I INT. HOSPITAL EXAMINATION ROOM - NEW ORLEANS Brennan is being examined by a doctor. She has been cleaned up and is wearing a hospital gown.
DOCTOR: Looks like someone stole your earring. Ripped it right out of the lobe.
BRENNAN: I don't know what happened to me.
DOCTOR: It's a tough town. We don't have that many cops anymore and, uh... Detective Harding enters the examination room without knocking interrupting the Doctor. He turns and sees her and continues.
DOCTOR: (smiling) They were never that good to begin with.
DETECTIVE HARDING: You shouldn't insult the ones that stuck around.
BRENNAN: Detective Harding, I didn't know who else to call. Detective Harding turns around and sees her pile of clothes on a table.
DETECTIVE HARDING: (to Doctor) I need blood samples on this clothing. (to Brennan) Maybe we'll get lucky and they won't all come from you. Still hazy on the details?
BRENNAN: I'm not hazy on the details. I...I don't remember anything.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Nothing?
BRENNAN: Um, Dr. Legiere knocking over a tray of instruments at the morgue. Then...mm...nothing.
DETECTIVE HARDING: That was the day before yesterday.
BRENNAN: I requested a rape kit.
DOCTOR: No sign of sexual activity forced or otherwise. The door opens and BOOTH rushes in heading straight for Brennan. A WOMAN #1 is behind him trying to stop him. He is too worried about Brennan to be stopped.
WOMAN #1: Sir, ,sir, you can't go in there.
BOOTH: (shrugging her off) Bones, you okay?
BRENNAN: Booth, I told you not to come.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Who's this?
BRENNAN: He's FBI. We're sort of partners.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Guy flies down from D.C.? You're more than "sort of." Booth brushes off Detective Harding's comment. He's anxious to see how Brennan is.
BOOTH: (to Harding) Yeah, that's great. (to Brennan) You remember anything?
BRENNAN: (sighs) The tray falling over.
BOOTH: (to Doctor) Why can't she remember anything?
DOCTOR: Well, it could be the head injury.
BRENNAN: Hairline stress fracture on my right distal radius, concussion, slight fever, torn earlobe. I lost one of my favorite earrings. She pulls the only earring left off of her ear and shows it to Booth. It's obvious he is distressed and concerned about Brennan.
BOOTH: You're worried about an earring? You should really be worried about losing a whole day.
BRENNAN: I know. It's stupid. But these earrings were my mother's.
DOCTOR: Amnesia caused by any traumatic event, injury or drug, can erase memories before the event, not just after.
BOOTH: Great, we'll just wait for a tox screen.
DOCTOR: It's gonna be at least 24 hours.
BOOTH: (getting upset) 24 hours?
DOCTOR: Well, most of the labs in the area were destroyed by the hurricane.
DETECTIVE HARDING: We'll find out what happened. You just take care of your...uh...partner. Booth is barely hanging on to his temper. He clinches his jaw and focuses on Brennan. He reaches and with a bent finger under her chin forces her to look at him so he can look at her injuries.
CUT TO: EXT. JEFFERSONIAN INSTITUTION - ESTABLISHING SHOT CUT TO: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB HODGINS steps onto the platform with an envelope showing it to everyone.
HODGINS: Another present from the Bayou. ANGELA and ZACK are already on the platform. Zack is in the background working at a computer station.
ANGELA: I keep asking for a baby "T" that says "The Big Easy."
HODGINS: Well, we're all hoping for that. He smiles at the thought of her in that shirt. Angela looks a bit shocked. Hodgins backpedals fast.
HODGINS: For you, I mean. Angela smiles at him. Zack comes up behind her.
ZACK: Does our funding allow us to do Dr. Brennan's vacation work? Zack clears his throat trying to get Hodgins' attention away from Angel. Hodgins hands an X-ray to Zack that came from the envelope sent by Brennan.
ANGELA: We're doing what the government didn't. It's the yin yang of government spending. Both Hodgins and Zack are looking at X-rays.
ZACK: So we're sneaking?
HODGINS: That's what makes it fun. Angela and Hodgins smile while Zack studies the X-ray.
ZACK: John Doe 361. Wow. Bad things happened to Mr. Doe.
Cut To: EXT. CAR TRAVELING THROUGH DISASTER AREA - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Booth and Brennan are in the car. Booth is driving and Brennan is in the passenger seat. They talk over the establishing shot.
BOOTH (O.S.): Yeah, it'll come back bones.
BRENNAN (O.S.): You don't know that. Head injuries are extremely unpredictable.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BOOTH: I'm just being reassuring. Brennan's cell phone rings. She answers.
BRENNAN: Brennan.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB Zack is looking at the X-rays of John Doe 361 that have been scanned into the computer and now show up on the monitor.
ZACK: Regarding the X-rays of John Doe 361.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: John Doe 361?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB ZACK: Yes. You sent his X-rays.
BRENNAN (O.S.): (through phone) I don't remember that. Zack turns toward phone, perplexed by her response.
ZACK: You don't remember?
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: What about the X-rays, Zack?
ZACK (O.S.): (through phone) Male.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB The camera pans from Zack to behind him where Angela is looking at the original X-rays as he's talking.
ZACK: Late 40's. Mixed race. Anomalies on his spine which I'm looking into. But the point is, his death was not accidental.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: I sent you the X-rays of a murder victim?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB On Angela as she continues looking at the X-rays.
BOOTH (O.S.): (through phone) How'd he die? Angela perks up hearing Booth's voice and turns toward the speakerphone.
ANGELA: Is that Booth?
BRENNAN (O.S.): (through phone) Yes.
ANGELA: (smiling) You're hopping the Streetcar Named Desire with Booth? (to Zack) Oh, I love this.
ZACK: Obviously, they're working the murder of John Doe 361 together.
BRENNAN (O.S.): (through phone) Precisely.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: How did 361 die?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB ZACK: The pelvis shows crush fractures. There's also what appears to be a bullet hole in the skull, but there's no exit wound.
BRENNAN (O.S.): (through phone) Okay, keep working on it. The sound of Brennan hanging up the phone is heard and Zack nods turning back toward the computer.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BOOTH: You don't remember the case?
BRENNAN: No. And it's a murder. (feels hunger pain) Oh, I'm hungry.
BOOTH: Well, when was the last time you ate? Brennan just stares at him not believing he asked that question.
BOOTH: Oh, my bad. You have amnesia. Suddenly, Brennan recalls something.
BRENNAN: Booth, I think I know a place.
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY
(Spoiler Note: This appears to be the same set used for the Royal Diner in Washington, D.C., used in season 2.)
Brennan and Booth are sitting at a two-top table in front of the window. Brennan is looking at a menu and Booth is playing with a spice shaker as they talk. The camera opens on wall decorations and pans over to them at the table.
BOOTH: All right, so what is the last thing that you do remember?
BRENNAN: I told you, Graham, Dr. Legiere, knocked over a tray of surgical instruments.
BOOTH: I want to talk to Legiere.
BRENNAN: We must've been about to examine John Doe 361. A man who appears to be the chef of the restaurant, PETER LESALLE, enters.
PETER LESALLE: (O.S) Dr. Brennan? (enters scene and approaches) I thought you were leaving today.
BRENNAN: Peter, this is my friend, Seeley Booth. Booth and Peter shake hands. Peter notices Brennan's injuries.
PETER LESALLE: My God. What happened to you?
BRENNAN: I'm not certain, but the bruising suggests Tuesday night.
PETER LESALLE: After you left here?
BRENNAN: I was here Tuesday?
BOOTH: What time?
PETER LESALLE: In at 8:00, left at 9:00. Don't you remember? (O.S) You had dinner with Sam Potter.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOTS OF SAM EATING, PETER, A MAN WIPING BLOODY HANDS ON A WHITE APRON, SOUND OF LAUGHTER Flash Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Camera on Brennan's dazed face as she remembers these images.
BOOTH: (O.S.) Bones? Bones?
BRENNAN: We have to go back to the morgue. Talk to Sam. She gets up to leave the restaurant.
BOOTH: Who's Sam?
BRENNAN: He's an orderly. He...he practices voodoo. Brennan is already out of the door when Booth gets up, gives a goodbye wave to Peter and follows.
BOOTH: Bones, wait up.
Cut To: EXT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - ST. GABRIEL, LOUISIANA - DAY SAM POTTER: (O.S.) You invited me to dinner.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) Why?
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - BALCONY PEWS - DAY Booth, Sam and Brennan are sitting in the balcony. Sam gives Brennan a box with voodoo spell casting ingredients.
SAM POTTER: You found this in the mouth of a John Doe. Brennan takes the box and looks at the contents.
BOOTH: (O.S.) Let me see that. Brennan turns the box toward Booth who looks at the contents.
BOOTH: That's voodoo?
SAM POTTER: It's a gris-gris bag. It's a mojo. This one is meant to silence the dead so they can't speak.
BOOTH: Well, usually dead people are pretty much silent on their own.
BRENNAN: Voodoo embraces the premise that spirits can speak to us from beyond the grave.
SAM POTTER: Voodoo is all about the balance of the forces. That wind, the flood, this death - it's all out of balance now. Katrina was Armageddon for the ones who love balance. Some think it was Secte Rouge that brought it on.
BOOTH: What's that? Some kind of a gang?
SAM POTTER: The ones who follow evil. Some believe that they purposely angered the sirens who sent the flood. (points to box) This...this is Secte Rouge.
BOOTH: Okay, so that's literally bad voodoo. Sam takes the box from Brennan and gives Booth a closer look.
SAM POTTER: It's black gum root. There's only one place you can find it. A voodoo shop on Pontchatrain Avenue run by Richard Benoit. He's a good man. Maybe he can help you. Sam closes the box and gives it to Booth.
BOOTH: Okay, thanks. Brennan and Booth get up and are leaving with Sam speaks.
SAM POTTER: Dr. Brennan, a lost day? Perhaps a spell was cast on you as well.
BRENNAN: No disrespect, Sam, but it's not my religion. Brennan walks down the balcony steps and Booth remains behind looking at Sam with a confused look on his face. Brennan stops and calls back to him.
BRENNAN: Come on, Booth.
Cut To: EXT. CAR TRAVELING ON A STREET - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Booth and Brennan talk over the establishing shot.
BOOTH: (O.S.) Voodoo. Who's going to believe that stuff?
BRENNAN: (O.S.) It's a religion. No crazier than - well, what are you?
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Booth is driving and Brennan is in the passenger seat.
BOOTH: (takes of sunglasses) Catholic.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) They believe in the same saints you do, and prayer. (on Brennan) What they call spells, you call miracles. They have priests.
BOOTH: We don't make zombies.
BRENNAN: Jesus rose from the dead after three days. Booth quickly turns his head toward her. He's shocked speechless for a moment but when he does recover, he's not happy. Brennan's cell phone rings and she answers it.
BRENNAN: Brennan.
BOOTH: (pointing to emphasize) Jesus is not a zombie. All right? Man. (puts on sunglasses) I shouldn't have to tell you that. Brennan stares at his outburst like he's nuts.
ZACK: (O.S. through phone) On John Doe 361...
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - X-RAY ROOM Zack is talking into the speakerphone and Angela is in the background looking at X-rays.
ZACK: ...there's a narrowing of the disk space on L2 and L3.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: (to Zack) Congenital?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - X-RAY ROOM ZACK: (to Brennan) Unclear. Extensive injuries consistent with a body being thrown around by a flood.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: (to Zack) Cross reference what you know so far with the DMORT records of missing Katrina victims.
ANGELA: (O.S. through phone) Hey, Brennan?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - X-RAY ROOM Angela steps forward and speaks into the speakerphone.
ANGELA: Why haven't you come home?
BRENNAN: (O.S. through phone) Pretty soon, Ange.
ANGELA: Is Booth there socially?
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: No, of course, not.
ANGELA: (O.S. through phone) All right, what's going on? Booth grabs the phone from Brennan's ear and talks to Angela.
BOOTH: Okay, Bones has amnesia because a...
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - X-RAY ROOM Camera on Zack's and Angela's reactions to Booth's story.
BOOTH: (O.S. through phone) ...voodoo murderer put a spell on her to keep her from solving the murder of John Doe 361.
Cut To: INT. CAR - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Brennan tries to grab the phone back from Booth to clarify the story but he switches it to his other ear so she can't reach it.
BRENNAN: That's a huge supposition.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - X-RAY ROOM ANGELA: (disbelieving) That's fine if you don't want to tell me. Zack turns off the phone.
ZACK: Ah. Voodoo amnesia. It's a good one.
ANGELA: Mm-hmm. It's great. Brennan's fighting zombies in New Orleans and we're stuck here.
Cut To: EXT. CAR TRAVELING ON A STREET - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Cut To: INT. VOODOO SHOP - PONCHARTRAIN AVENUE - DAY Booth and Brennan enter the voodoo shop.
BOOTH: Whoa. What's that smell?
BRENNAN: I imagine everything smells in here. Booth spots a picture of a Cadillac Brougham and is in love. He begins to bend down in front of it almost in worship.
BOOTH: Whoa. Please just tell me that that car survived Katrina. (he whistles) From behind a beaded room divider, RICHARD BENOIT, the store owner, enters.
RICHARD BENOIT: (re the car) We used it to evacuate.
BOOTH: Did you restore it yourself or did you use voodoo?
RICHARD BENOIT: Ah (he laughs). An unbeliever. What can I do for you?
BOOTH: You, uh... He pulls the bag of ingredients obtained from John Doe 361's mouth from his pocket and puts it on the counter.
BOOTH: You know what that is?
RICHARD BENOIT: This is a dark spell. Forbidden magic. Very strong. This is Secte Rouge. I certainly wouldn't make anything like this.
BOOTH: But you have the ingredients here?
RICHARD BENOIT: Well, the individual ingredients are not malignant. It is how they are combined and what intention they are used for that makes a spell good or bad.
BRENNAN: Do you recognize me?
RICHARD BENOIT: No. Should I?
BOOTH: Anyone else work here?
RICHARD BENOIT: My daughter, Eva. What is this about? Booth pulls out his FBI credentials and shows them to Benoit.
BOOTH: We're conducting an investigation.
RICHARD BENOIT: (yells toward back room) Eva! (back to Booth) What kind of investigation?
BRENNAN: Is it true that this is the only place a person could buy black gum root?
RICHARD BENOIT: Yes. Most places like this are all gone now. It's not a coincidence. Benoit turns around and picks up some black gum root and hands it to Booth and Brennan who examine it. At the same time, a door is heard to open and EVA BENOIT enters the shop from the back room.
EVA BENOIT: Yes, daddy?
RICHARD BENOIT: Have you ever seen this lady before? Brennan looks up at her so Eva can see her face clearly.
EVA BENOIT: No, why? Brennan holds up the black gum root to her.
BRENNAN: We need to know who's bought this lately.
EVA BENOIT: (to father) Don't they need a warrant?
RICHARD BENOIT: Ah (uncomfortable laugh). Eva will pull up what you need on the computer. (as "please, do it for me") Eva. Eva reluctantly moves to the computer to begin pulling records.
BOOTH: What you said before, what did you mean just a coincidence?
RICHARD BENOIT: Most places like this, where a houngan, a priest, can get what he needs, they are all gone now.
BRENNAN: Because of the hurricane and flood?
RICHACRD BENOIT: Which occurred because of a lack of balance.
BRENNAN: Mr. Benoit, are you suggesting that Secte Rouge somehow conjured up a hurricane?
EVA BENOIT: Secte Rouge voodoo is much more powerful than ours.
RICHARD BENOIT: No, Eva. Not more powerful. Destruction is easier than harmony but not more powerful. (to Booth and Brennan) There are a lot of misunderstandings about voodoo.
BOOTH: Yeah. That whole zombie stuff puts a crimp in your public relations I bet. (uncomfortable laugh) Eva joins them all again with a list of buyers which she hands to Brennan.
EVA BENOIT: These are the people who have bought black gum root in the past month. Brennan reads the list and recognizes a name.
BRENNAN: Graham Legiere, the medical examiner. Booth takes the list and reads it.
Cut To: EXT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - DAY Booth and Brennan talk over the establishing shot.
BOOTH: (O.S.) I tried to get in touch with him.
BRENNAN: He was scheduled to be out in the field this week.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - FOYER - DAY Brennan opens the door and enters followed by Booth. She calls for him as she enters.
BRENNAN: Graham? It's Temperance.
BOOTH: What if he's not here?
BRENNAN: Well, he's probably asleep. He's been working nights. (shouts) Graham? Graham? Booth bends over her shoulder and tries to make a joke. [Note: Graham Crackers are cinnamon and sugar coated crackers sold in the U.S. Also, "cracker" is a derogatory name for a Southerner.]
BOOTH: Cracker.
BRENNAN: Hey, that's not funny. I think he invited me to dinner that night or drinks. I can't remember.
BOOTH: Mm-hmm. You know what? Maybe he "roofied" you.
BRENNAN: I'm sure he bought the black gum root to look into its medicinal qualities.
BOOTH: Yeah, because we all know how effective that is.
BRENNAN: Voodoo healing is quite effective. No crazier than acupuncture or exorcism.
BOOTH: Hey, hey, easy on the Catholics. Okay? Just easy. (sees something). Bones? He points into the next room where a blanket is tossed over a full-length mirror.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF MAN'S TORSO.
Flash Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - FOYER - DAY Brennan remembers something and looks toward the upstairs. See turns toward the steps.
BOOTH: Here we go again.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - STAIRS LEADING TO SECOND FLOOR - DAY Brennan climbs the stairs. Booth calls after her and follows.
BOOTH: (O.S.) Bones!
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF LEGIERE SMILING, INDISTINCT VOICES OVERLAPPING Flash Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Brennan is moving down the hall seemingly looking for something while flashes of memory bombard her.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF BASEBOARD WITH BLOOD SPLATTERS Flash Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Brennan is still moving down the hallway. More memories.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF MAN'S SHOE-COVERED FEET AGAINST A WALL WITH BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN Flash Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Brennan is still moving down the hallway.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Brennan's POV sees a room down the hall with the door slightly ajar.
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF A FACE STRIPPED OF SKIN, BLOOD DRIPPING Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Still Brennan's POV of the slightly ajar door.
BOOTH: (O.S.) You okay?
Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF A HAND DROPPING A BLOODY KNIFE ON A TILED FLOOR Flash Cut To: B/W SHOT OF SOMEONE IN JEANS AND BOOTS RUNNING DOWN STEPS AND EXITING THROUGH A DOOR LEAVING A BLOODY HAND PRINT BRENNAN: (O.S.) Something bad happened here.
Flash Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Brennan is still staring at the door. She appears paralyzed. Booth is now behind her in the hallway.
BRENNAN: And I got away. Booth moves forward toward the door. Brennan stands still and then follows him.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - OUTSIDE OF ROOM WITH DOOR AJAR Camera moves in on door. Booth's hand is shown slowly opening the door.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM Camera is on Booth and Brennan as they enter the room. Cut to a shot of a mirror and the reflection of Graham Legiere's body crucified on the opposite wall. Cut back to Booth and Brennan as they turn toward the wall and see him. Now we see all of the previous black and white images of the body in full color. He is staked to the wall by his wrists. It looks like he is disemboweled and a large knife or possibly another stake is stuck in his chest. There is blood dripping down the wall and pooled on the floor. There is a mojo bag hanging around his neck. Cut back to Booth and Brennan staring in disbelief.
BOOTH: Oh, yeah. Something bad.
END OF ACT I
[SCENE_BREAK]
ACT II INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS BEDROOM The police have arrived and the police photographer is flashing pictures of the body and crime scene. There are flash cuts to various aspects of the scene including all the stakes and the body being zipped up in the body bag. Sirens can be heard outside. Detective Harding, with her notebook in hand, exits the room.
Cut To: INT. GRAHAM LEGIERE HOME - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY Booth and Brennan are waiting down the hall near the top of the stairs. Detective Harding approaches them.
DETECTIVE HARDING: What exactly were you doing here?
BRENNAN: It's Graham, isn't it?
DETECTIVE HARDING: Tell you what, Dr. Brennan, I'm going to ask the questions.
BOOTH: Oh, come on, Detective. She was working with the guy.
DETECTIVE HARDING: How closely?
BRENNAN: What's that supposed to mean?
DETECTIVE HARDING: Answer my question, please. What brought you here? Was it a social call? Business? Revenge killing?
BOOTH: Look, Legiere bought some black gum root from the voodoo store. We just stopped by to ask why.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Why?
BRENNAN: That's what we came here to ask.
DETECTIVE HARDING: You wanna look behind me and remind yourselves why I'm a little low on sense of humor.
BRENNAN: Wuh, that wasn't a joke.
BOOTH: Oh, no, she's not wisecracking. She just tends to be a bit literal. While Brennan is talking to Harding, Booth looks on the floor and sees Brennan's lost earring by the leg of a hall table. He doesn't say anything to either Brennan or Harding that he's seen it.
BRENNAN: Day before yesterday, I showed a voodoo expert a mojo that Graham found lodged in the mouth of John Doe 361.
DETECTIVE HARDING: This, uh, voodoo consultation, did it occur before or after amnesia.
BOOTH: Look, the amnesia's real.
BRENNAN: Graham purchased a rare ingredient at a voodoo shop on Pontchartrain Ave. A POLICEWOMAN #1 enters the hall from the bedroom and comes up behind Detective Harding while she speaks. She has something in her hand.
DETECTIVE HARDING: So Graham made voodoo spells, shoved them into corpses' mouths, then pretended to be surprised when he found them? Booth sees the policewoman and what she has in her hands.
BOOTH: What's that?
POLICEWOMAN #1: Ma'am? Harding turns her back to Booth and Brennan to examine was the Policewoman as brought. Brennan moves closer to get a better look leaving Booth alone and unnoticed. He bends down while they're talking, picks up Brennan's earring and puts it in his pocket.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Split cast, huh? More voodoo. Just like the symbol on the wall? Bag it as evidence.
BRENNAN: Secte Rouge? Harding turns back to Brennan. Booth, with the earring safely in his pocket, steps forward and joins them.
DETECTIVE HARDING: What do you know about Secte Rouge?
BOOTH: If you're done with us, Detective, we're going to go. He takes Brennan's arm and begins to drag her toward the stairs. Harding's words stop them.
DETECTIVE HARDING: I'm gonna tear this place apart. If I find one piece of evidence that ties you to this scene, I will take you into custody.
BRENNAN: Wait, do you really think that someone could go into a trance, commit a murder like that, and not remember it?
DETECTIVE HARDING: No, I don't. But I sure as hell think someone can fake amnesia.
BOOTH: That's great. Thank you, Detective. Booth ushers Brennan away.
Cut To: EXT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - ST. GABRIEL, LOUISIANA - DAY Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - BALCONY PEWS - DAY Assistant medical examiner, Dr. James Embry, has several charts that he hands to Brennan.
JAMES EMBRY: These files are everything you and Graham worked on the day before yesterday.
BRENNAN: James, meet Agent Seeley Booth. Dr. Embry is Graham's second in command.
BOOTH: Condolences on your sudden promotion.
JAMES EMBRY: Um, why do you think the job had anything to do with Graham being killed?
BOOTH: Bones has voodoo amnesia, Legiere is voodoo dead, and the last thing they worked on together was a voodoo ritual murder. So, I'm...I'm thinking there might be some kind of a connection.
JAMES EMBRY: Legiere's body. Is it, uh, as bad as they say?
BRENNAN: How bad are they saying it is?
BOOTH: No matter how bad they're saying it is, it's worse.
JAMES EMBRY: I just want to mentally prepare myself. Um, I start his autopsy in a few minutes.
BRENNAN: The file I need is John Doe 361.
JAMES EMBRY: According to records, these are the only cases you worked on the day before yesterday. Four sets of remains, two were easy I.D.s, drown victims, processed and booted for burial. The other two were both males, John Does 349 and 350.
BRENNAN: I sent 361's X-rays to the Jeffersonian.
JAMES EMBRY: Well, I'll check again. Embry leaves. Brennan glances through a file she's holding while Booth watches as they wait for Embry to return.
BOOTH: Can I make a lifestyle suggestion?
BRENNAN: Go ahead.
BOOTH: You know, vacation. It's from the Latin, "vacatio." It means, you know, "freedom" or "release." You might want to consider that next time.
BRENNAN: Learning Latin?
BOOTH: This is the opposite of vacation. No wonder you snapped, went insane and totally lost your mind.
BRENNAN: Oh, thanks for your understanding. Embry enters from off screen.
JAMES EMBRY: Uh, Dr. Brennan. There's no John Doe 361.
BRENNAN: Then whose X-rays did I send to D.C.?
JAMES EMBRY: No, I mean the file is gone. Brennan and Booth stare at each other not fully surprised that this is happening.
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM There are lots of bodies in body bags on tables. Sam Potter is in the room chanting over the bodies. He has a snake around his neck and moves from body to body saying his prayer. Brennan, followed by Booth and James, enter the room through a plastic curtain partition. She hands Booth her phone set on speakerphone.
BRENNAN: Ugh, okay, hold that.
BOOTH: Got it.
ZACK: (O.S. through phone) Zack Addy.
BRENNAN: Zack, it's me. Anything else on John Doe 361?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONES ROOM Zack and Angela are in the Bones Room (the one with drawers with bones in them from floor to ceiling) looking at X-rays on a large light table.
ZACK: Yes, Dr. Brennan. We found some damage to the pubic bone. Some kind of strike marks.
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM Brennan is checking the tags on all the bodies looking for John Doe 361.
BRENNAN: Did you get Angela to reconstruct the pattern?
ANGELA: (O.S.) Yeah. Hi, sweetie. I'm here.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONES ROOM ANGELA: Uh, I tried to make a digital positive, but it didn't work.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) Why?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM BOOTH: Voodoo probably.
ANGELA: (O.S.) The extrapolation protocols can't resolve the gradient fluxes in the bone shadings.
JAMES EMBRY: What's that?
BOOTH: That's mumbo jumbo. It's scientific voodoo.
BRENNAN: Can you do it manually?
ANGELA: (O.S.) Off an X-ray?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONES ROOM ANGELA: Mm, not really.
ZACK: Can't you send the actual remains?
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM BRENNAN: They don't exist.
ZACK: (O.S.) That makes no sense.
BOOTH: Voodoo. It's probably voodoo.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BONES ROOM ANGELA: Voodoo?
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM BRENNAN: Okay, quit saying voodoo.
BOOTH: Yeah, because, you know, it's not a factor.
BRENNAN: Okay, let me know what you find. Bye. Booth switches off the phone while he watches Sam perform his prayer ritual. Sam's chanting is louder.
BOOTH: How do we know this is not the guy shoving mojo bags into dead people?
SAM POTTER: Those spells are the work of a sorcerer. Priests houngans can make healing mojos, but I'm not allowed.
BOOTH: But snake shaking, that's fine? Brennan looks at the snake and touches it.
SAM POTTER: The snake pulls the evil out of the soul freeing the spirit, the loua. I must do what small things I can. The floods washed away too much of what was good. Booth sees Brennan handling the snake.
BOOTH: Hey, Bones, how's about while you're a murder suspect, you, uh, act more like a normal woman and less like Lily Munster, okay? He pulls Brennan away from handling the snake.
BOOTH: Goodbye. Good snake. Bye-bye. That's it. Now that he's gotten her away from the snake, they head for the exit.
BOOTH: Now, call me crazy, but I'm suspicious of snake man.
BRENNAN: Ugh, that's because you've been inculcated by the mainstream culture's prevailing Judeo-Christian tradition into instinctive skepticism of alternative mores.
BOOTH: Yeah. Thanks for that explanation.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB Zack is looking through a magnifying glass as Hodgins comes up behind him. He stays behind him during the entire scene.
HODGINS: I've been over every inch of these X-rays.
ZACK: Me, too.
HODGINS: There's evidence of particles on the bones, but there is no way for me to know what they are.
ZACK: Probably dirt. Hodgins is not pleased with Zack's use of the word "dirt."
HODGINS: Yes, thank you, Zack. But dirt is a meaningless word. Zack is concentrating on an X-ray and doesn't respond to Hodgins' comment.
ZACK: You can't see air on an X-ray.
HODGINS: What? I never said you could. I'm not even talking about air.
ZACK: You can see a space where air might be like a cavity, but not the air itself.
HODGINS: What I'm saying is that yes, there are flecks on the X-rays that might be dirt, but that doesn't tell us anything. Hodgins is getting mad that Zack isn't paying attention to him. He jerks Zack around in his chair so he can see his face.
HODGINS: Is it sandy? Hm? Silty, "humusey"? Is it clay? Is it more organic than mineral? Is it soil? Is it pulverized gravel? What minerals are in it? Are the minerals crystalline? See, these are all details a person cannot get off an X-ray no matter how long he stares at it. Zack has slowly drifted off during Hodgins speech and is obviously thinking about something else.
ZACK: Sometimes a person should look for things that aren't there instead of things that are there.
HODGINS: You mean me? In dirt?
ZACK: No. Me. On the X-ray. I've been looking for anomalies which exist instead of anomalies which don't exist.
HODGINS: Zack, if you are ever going to successfully mimic being human, you have to stop making everything about you and feign interest in the other guy. (no response) Zack! Zack continues to stare at an X-ray.
ZACK: I've noticed that you try to look taller.
HODGINS: When?
ZACK: Around Dr. Brennan.
HODGINS: I do not.
ZACK: And Angela. Because they are both taller than you.
HODGINS: You know what? I take it back. Don't take any interest in the other guy.
ZACK: (oblivious) Thank you for your help. Hodgins is on the verge of killing Zack and pretends to strangle him from behind.
Cut To: EXT. BRENNAN'S HOTEL - NEW ORLEANS - NIGHT BOOTH: (O.S.) So, do you remember anything else that could help us out?
Cut To: INT. BRENNAN'S HOTEL - NEW ORLEANS - NIGHT Booth and Brennan are in her suite.
BRENNAN: It could have been me.
BOOTH: Do you remember that?
BRENNAN: Look at it objectively. Graham Legiere was killed between 11:00 p.m. Tuesday and 3:00 a.m. Wednesday. Not only do I not have an alibi, I...I can't even explain to myself where I was. It could've been me.
BOOTH: (chuckles) No, it couldn't.
BRENNAN: Yes. Wha...how do you know?
BOOTH: I just know, okay? I'd bet my professional career on it. I already did.
BRENNAN: What?
BOOTH: Nothing.
BRENNAN: What did you do?
BOOTH: Bones! Stop. This is the last time and place that you want to be rational, okay? Let's just be wildly emotional and assume that you didn't psychotically murder a coworker who invited you over for dinner. Booth sees something on Brennan's bed pillow.
BOOTH: What's that?
BRENNAN: What?
BOOTH: (pointing) That. Brennan gets up and moves to the pillow picking up whatever it is.
BRENNAN: Ew.
BOOTH: Is it another voodoo dumpling? It's another mojo bag. She opens it up picking through the contents.
BRENNAN: It's some kind of flesh. And these are seashells. And leather, I think.
BOOTH: Is that a human tooth?
BRENNAN: Yes. A canine. The door bursts open and Detective Harding rushes in with her gun drawn, several other policemen behind her also with guns. Booth turns to face her pulling his own weapon out.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Put down your weapon, Agent Booth. They face each other, guns pointing at each other.
BOOTH: Put down your weapon. There's no threat from us.
DETECTIVE HARDING: You're holding a gun on me.
BOOTH: Yeah, well, you know, my finger here (waves it) is not on the trigger. It's the best I can do under the circumstances. Harding reluctantly puts her gun away.
DETECTIVE HARDING: (to the cops) Holster your weapons. The other policemen put their weapons away and so does Booth.
DETECTIVE HARDING: I'm here to arrest Dr. Brennan for the murder of Graham Legiere.
BOOTH: Whoa, that's not gonna happen.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is.
BRENNAN: I told you, Booth.
BOOTH: Bones, please! Just once in your life will you be quiet?
DETECTIVE HARDING: That's good advice because everything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. (seeing the bag) What is that?
BRENNAN: I...I found it on my pillow. Brennan hands the mojo bag to Harding.
BOOTH: Bones! (groans in frustration)
DETECTIVE HARDING: Thank you, Dr. Brennan. Harding drops the mojo bag into a plastic evidence bag.
BOOTH: What's the probable cause?
DETECTIVE HARDING: Traces of Dr. Brennan's blood in Legiere's home, Legiere's blood on her clothing from the clinic.
BOOTH: Is that it?
DETECTIVE HARDING: All I'm prepared to share with the federal government. Now, please. Step away from my collar.
BOOTH: I'm afraid I can't let that happen. Brennan steps around Booth and offers herself up to Harding.
BOOTH: Bones! Geez! (slaps himself on the forehead)
BRENNAN: It's better if nobody else dies while we get to the bottom of this. Harding puts the handcuffs on Brennan.
BOOTH: Well, you know what, I wasn't planning on dying.
BRENNAN: (being handcuffed) Ow. It's not you I worry about. Ow. You're welcome to the room. It's paid for. Harding shoves Brennan out of the room. Everyone but Booth follows. Booth sighs, turns in a circle and then stops. He reaches in his pocket, pulls out her earring, looks at it, tosses it in the air and catches it. He looks up, seemingly to God, appearing to ask what to do next.
FADE TO BLACK END OF ACT II
[SCENE_BREAK]
ACT III EXT. STREET SCENE - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Cut To: INT. DETECTIVE HARDING'S OFFICE - DAY Harding is interrogating Brennan.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Were you sleeping with Graham Legiere?
BRENNAN: I don't...I don't think so.
DETECTIVE HARDING: You don't think so?
BRENNAN: I don't remember sleeping with him. And at the clinic they said there was no sign of sexual activity. They are interrupted when CAROLYN JULIAN and Booth enter the office.
CAROLYN JULIAN: I hope you've kept your mouth shut.
BOOTH: Hey, Temperance Brennan, Carolyn Julian. She's your lawyer. (they shake hands) She's from the U.S. Attorney's Office. She's the best there is.
DETECTIVE HARDING: You found a prosecutor to defend her? Interesting tactic.
BRENNAN: I've told Detective Harding everything I know so far.
CAROLYN JULIAN: She's a fool. You didn't tell me she's a fool.
BOOTH: Look, she's a brilliant forensic anthropologist.
BRENNAN: Well, I have three degrees. I've pioneered research in...
CAROLYN JULIAN: What's that? (points at evidence on desk)
BRENNAN: A gris-gris bag. I found it in my hotel... (Harding stops her from touching it) room and... I'm assuming the person who left it there is trying to frame me so the tooth is probably Graham's.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Three degrees and still a fool. (to Harding) This interview is over, Rose. I need to speak with my client alone before she gives herself a lethal injection.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Of course. Of course. (as she exits) It's nice seeing you again, Carolyn. Harding exits and Booth starts in on Brennan.
BOOTH: Okay, Bones, what the hell where you talking to her for?
BRENNAN: I was just trying to help.
CAROLYN JULIAN: You sew those lips together, girl, because there is no such thing as "help" in the New Orleans Police. They just want to close the case as quickly and easily as they can. And you are making it Christmas time for them.
BOOTH: Okay, listen, there's no way that Bones could've killed Legiere. I mean sh...it's...it's just not her. I mean look at her.
CAROLYN JULIAN: I am doing you a favor taking this case, Booth. But as the lady cop says, I'm a prosecutor. And as it stands now, I could try this case in my p.j.'s and still get a conviction.
BRENNAN: Well, shouldn't you get to know your clients before you make snap judgments.
BOOTH: Bones!
CAROLYN JULIAN: Fine. Stop me when I get something wrong. Trained in three types of martial arts, two assault charges, registered marksman with the N.R.A., hunting licenses in four states...
BOOTH: You hunt?
BRENNAN: Well, only for food.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Shot an unarmed man.
BRENNAN: Well, he was trying to set me on fire.
BOOTH: All right, just...just arrange bail for us, Carolyn, so we can get out of here.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Sure. Sure. Don't want to get this one mad at me. Carolyn exits and Booth, once again, starts in on Brennan.
BOOTH: You couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you?
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - MEDICO-LEGAL LAB Zack is staring at an X-ray. The camera pulls back to reveal Hodgins is behind him.
ZACK: I can identify this guy.
HODGINS: You know, Angela isn't that much taller than me.
ZACK: Spina bifida. He had a shunt from his brain stem down to this heart. It was removed more than a decade ago.
HODGINS: We both like brussels sprouts.
ZACK: You don't like brussels sprouts.
HODGINS: A man can change, Zack. Zack gives him a sideways glance that possibly says "who are you trying to fool" and Hodgins groans in frustration and walks away.
Cut To: EXT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Booth, Sam Potter are off screen as the scene begins with their voiceovers.
SAM POTTER: (O.S.) What? A human tooth?
BOOTH: (O.S.) Yeah.
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY Booth, Sam and Brennan are seated at a table near the front door.
BOOTH: Yeah, it was some kind of...uh...some flesh, some...some fabric. It looked like...uh...some kind of shell.
SAM POTTER: It sounds like...to make you forget.
BOOTH: Somebody doesn't want you to know what happened to John Doe 361.
BRENNAN: Booth, I'm not under a spell.
BOOTH: Well, you forgot a whole day.
SAM POTTER: The spirits don't need you to believe in them, Dr. Brennan. They believe in you. (pause) See you back at work, huh? Sam gets up and leaves. A waiter brings some food. Both of them eat during the rest of the scene.
BRENNAN: How'd I get away? You know, Graham got killed. I got away. How'd I do that?
BOOTH: You know, Bones, all those things that Carolyn mentioned, you know, the...the martial arts, the shooting, the...uh...the assaults... It's just...you're the type of woman that fights. Maybe they didn't expect it. Maybe they thought some kind of magic could hold you.
BRENNAN: I don't believe in magic.
BOOTH: Exactly. You're a surprising woman. Sometimes that's enough for getting away. Brennan smiles at him and gives a small laugh. He smiles back.
BRENNAN: Why are you nice to me?
BOOTH: (he considers) Because. Because they think they get away with it.
BRENNAN: What?
BOOTH: They burn their victim, they blow 'em up, they toss 'em in the ocean, they bury them in the desert, they...they throw 'em to wood chippers. Sometimes, you know, years go by. They relax. And they start living their lives like they didn't do anything wrong. Like they didn't spend somebody else's life in order to get what they got. They think they're safe from retribution. But, you make those bastards unsafe. That's why I'm nice to you.
BRENNAN: I couldn't do that without you, Booth.
BOOTH: Yeah. So...uh, you should be a little nicer to me, huh? He smiles charmingly at her. She smiles back. He laughs a little.
BRENNAN: I really should.
BOOTH: Yeah.
CAROLYN JULIAN: (O.S.) I walk in on something? There's the sound of files and papers being tossed on the table and then the camera cuts to a full overhead shot of the restaurant with Carolyn standing by the table. She turns and orders from some off screen WAITER #1.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Beignet and a café.
WAITER #1: Yes, ma'am. She sits in the seat Sam vacated earlier.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Hospital records. The tox screen was negative.
BRENNAN: What? That's impossible.
BOOTH: No Rohypnol? No ketamine?
CAROLYN JULIAN: Nothing but a touch of alcohol. Not enough to affect a baby. A jury is never going to believe this amnesia story.
BOOTH: (groans) Well, but it's true.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Maybe this is true, too. (to Brennan) Legiere tried to rape you. He was a notorious horn dog. We claim self-defense, cop a plea. You're out in three years.
BOOTH: Nah, I don't care what it looks like or how you're reading the evidence, Carolyn. She didn't do it. Brennan looks touched and grateful for his trust.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Could be that's true, Seeley. You vouch for her, that's good enough for me. But, chéri, this looks bad. All you've got on your side is proof you got roughed up. These pictures from the clinic, these X-rays. Carolyn has passed a folder with X-rays in them to Brennan and she studies at them. We see the X-ray of her broken wrist.
BRENNAN: My wrist. The doctor was wrong. He said this was a Colles fracture from a fall. This break shows surface trauma on the outside of the bone. This was either defensive or someone slammed my wrist into something.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Maybe because you tried to stab him in the heart with a knife?
BRENNAN: No, think about it. If I'd already stabbed the attacker, he wouldn't have been able to break my wrist.
CAROLYN JULIAN: I like this story. What else?
BOOTH: Well, there's the mojo bag. I mean someone was trying to put a forgetting spell on her.
BRENNAN: Booth.
CAROLYN JULIAN: Hey, I can work with that. This is New Orleans, baby. (O.S. as Brennan answers cell phone) And where is my beignet?
BRENNAN: (into phone) Brennan.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE Zack and Hodgins are there talking to Brennan through a speakerphone.
ZACK: (into phone) John Doe 361 is named Rene Mouton.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) How can you be sure?
ZACK: I looked for something that wasn't there, which turned out to be a shunt channel. The camera pulls back and we can see Angela is also there at the computer.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) Good work.
ANGELA: You understood that? We see a computer screen showing the channel from the brain stem to the heart.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) All Zack had to do was cross-check with DMORT.
ZACK: I only thought of it because of Hodgins.
HODGINS: I can discern particulates on the X-ray, but I have no way of telling what they are.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) Some kind of dirt?
HODGINS: Okay, everybody, the word "dirt" means nothing here in the lab scientifically.
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: Any progress on the design that was pressed into the pelvic bone?
ANGELA: (O.S.) I've tried three different computer programs.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE ANGELA: I fed in the information into multiple impact scenarios, but this isn't gonna work on X-rays. I need the actual remains.
BRENNAN: (O.S.) Booth and I are looking for them as hard as we can.
ANGELA: Or, better still, you can forget the whole thing and come home.
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: Don't worry. I made bail.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE ZACK: (shocked) Bail?
ANGELA: (shocked) Bail? For what?
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: I told you. Don't worry. The...the murder charge won't stick.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE HODGINS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Murder charge?
ANGELA: (rises) Brennan, the next plane. Okay? The next plane or I'm coming down there to get you myself.
Cut To: INT. JAMBALAYA JONES RESTAURANT - NEW ORLEANS - DAY BRENNAN: Everything's fine.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - ANGELA'S OFFICE BRENNAN: (O.S.) I'm healing up satisfactorily. Bye for now. The phone shuts off.
HODGINS: Healing up?
ANGELA: (sighs, then to Zack and Hodgins) You know what? This whole state of affairs where Brennan just runs around fighting crime? It's stupid. It's nuts. Don't you agree? Zack sucks in his lips and shakes his head "no." Hodgins just stares at her.
ANGELA: (to Zack) Go, go. (he exits) I'll be...fine. Angela sits down at the computer. Hodgins starts to leave but turns back to her.
HODGINS: Brennan will be fine, Angela. She got bail and the murder charge won't stick.
ANGELA: What is going on with her?
HODGINS: Angela. (he chuckles) She started to change the day she met you.
ANGELA: What? He has come forward and sits on the edge of her desk.
HODGINS: She sees how you do it. All fun and involvement and pizzazz. Big, you know? Big life. Booth came along and gave her the opportunity, but she got the idea from you. Brennan wants a big life like yours. (she smiles) That's how it looks to me anyway. But what do I know? I'm a bug guy. Bug and slime. And, you know...dirt.
ANGELA: Yeah. He stares at her and she looks down and up - a bit awkward and shy.
HODGINS: So...okay. He gets up and leaves. Angela smiles and watches him leave and then ponders a moment.
ANGELA: Hmm.
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - LARGE WORK ROOM - DAY Booth and Brennan walk through a large room filled with corpses on tables. Workers are checking bodies against charts, looking at X-rays, generally going about the business of identifying bodies.
BOOTH: According to Bureau files, Rene Mouton headed up a small voodoo church. By all accounts, he...he was a very good man. Now, he rescued scores of people during Katrina. Then he just disappeared. Some thought he was just swept away when the levee broke.
BRENNAN: Why would anyone murder him?
BOOTH: Ya know, the chaos during the evacuation. Could even have been for a bottle of water. Sam Potter enters the scene and interrupts them.
SAM POTTER: Or because he was a priest. The gris-gris box, the murder of Dr. Legiere, your amnesia, this is the work of a bokor, a Secte Rouge sorcerer. Rene Mouton was a houngan. A powerful and well-loved priest. For Secte Rouge to claim his soul, this would give them influence on all the people that he influenced.
BRENNAN: Like a chain letter.
BOOTH: Or in the real world, somebody wanted his shoes.
BRENNAN: No, Booth, it makes sense.
BOOTH: What does?
BRENNAN: Graham and I were on the trail of a broker.
SAM POTTER: Bokor.
BRENNAN: And he found out, or Secte Rouge did.
BOOTH: All right, great. Then we just toss the ring into the molten river and blah-blah, right? Look, in the meantime, somebody here had the ability to hide Mouton's body and files.
BRENNAN: James Embry.
SAM POTTER: Me.
BRENNAN: Mike Doyle.
BOOTH: Say you wanted to hide a particular body and you didn't want anyone to find out, where would you put it?
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM - COFFIN SECTION Booth, Brennan and Sam are looking in cardboard boxes which have bodies in them already identified and waiting to be buried.
SAM POTTER: If I wanted to hide a body, I'd change the name tag on the coffin.
BRENNAN: (looking at a body) Not Mouton. Too young.
BOOTH: Yeah, it's buried and the evidence is gone forever.
BRENNAN: (inside another box) Argh, female. (shuts box lid) You know, I find it hard to believe that horny little Mike Doyle is a voodoo sorcerer. Sam opens another box and there is fresh body inside with another Katrina victim body.
SAM POTTER: Oh!
Flash Cut To: PICTURE OF MIKE DOYLE FROM EARLIER SCENE Flash Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - FREEZER ROOM - COFFIN SECTION BOOTH: Me, too.
BRENNAN: (looking at the body) Speak of the devil. Mike Doyle. And he's not alone. She picks up the remains of the Katrina victim's hand and examines it as the scene fades to black.
Cut To: INT. TEMPORARY MORGUE - AUTOPSY ROOM Booth, Brennan, Sam, James Embry, Detective Harding and a few other workers are there with Mike Doyle's body and the unknown Katrina victim found with him. Booth and Brennan whisper to each other to the side while others work.
BRENNAN: You said to avoid the police.
BOOTH: Not cooperating is one thing, Bones, okay? Concealing a double homicide? Well, we might as well give them an excuse to hang us. Harding and Embry come up and joins them.
DETECTIVE HARDING: (to Brennan) Dr. Embry says that you can identify the bag of bones.
BRENNAN: The skeletal remains belong to a man named Rene Mouton. His skull is missing.
JAMES EMBRY: Looks to me like Mike Doyle was drugged, a spike was driven through his head during or immediately following sexual intercourse.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Well, it appears that Dr. Brennan, Dr. Embry and Sam Potter here are the three people who could've pulled this off.
BOOTH: Well, Sam Potter brought us to the body. We called you in. Who's that leave? Harding turns to look at Embry.
JAMES EMBRY: Oh, please. There's no security in this place. Anyone could've gotten in here.
BRENNAN: You said that Mike was having s*x when he died. James, he must've been killed by the coffin girl.
DETECTIVE HARDING: What?
BOOTH: What's her name?
JAMES EMBRY: Well, I never got her name.
BRENNAN: Is there a mojo in Doyle's mouth?
DETECTIVE HARDING: I don't feel comfortable releasing that...
BRENNAN: The girl is a voodoo sorcerer. She works for Secte Rouge.
BOOTH: Detective Harding, I know this is - you know - sounds superstitious, but...
DETECTIVE HARDING: Three ritual murders and a world-renowned anthropologist who can't remember how she ended up smeared with the blood of a skinned man crucified to a wall with spikes. Call me superstitious. There is an uncomfortable pause when Sam interrupts from his place next to Mouton's body.
SAM POTTER: Excuse me. May I scatter fwan ginea over Mr. Mouton? To purify his remains?
DETECTIVE HARDING: No! No more of this voodoo crap! I don't want you contaminating the body.
BRENNAN: What is it?
SAM POTTER: Ashes from a ritual fire pit. Ashes from a dove's feather, salt mixed with holy water...
BOOTH: Okay, okay, ya know, we get the idea and...
BRENNAN: It should have no affect on the bones, Detective Harding. Harding looks back and forth between Brennan and Sam like they're crazy. Finally, she relents.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Fine. Fine. Go ahead. Sam holds the pot up toward the sky and begins a voodoo chant. At the appropriate time, he stops, opens the pot and pours some ashes on the body. There is a reaction from the ashes and a design begins to be revealed on the ribcage.
BOOTH: Whoa! Did you see that?
BRENNAN: Very interesting phenomenon. The electrostatic charge of the particles reacted with the bone. Angela was unable to recreate that pattern from the X-rays using the best technology in the world. Booth paces, thinking. He finally figures out where he knows that pattern from.
BOOTH: Electrostatic, my ass. That was part of an emblem of a 1959 Caddy Brougham. Oh, boy.
DETECTIVE HARDING: What?
BRENNAN: The voodoo shop guy owns a 1959 Cadillac.
BOOTH: He's got a voodoo daughter.
Cut To: INT. VOODOO SHOP - PONCHARTRAIN AVENUE - DAY There's a close-up of the picture of Richard Benoit and his daughter in front of his Cadillac. The camera zooms back to reveal Benoit. Booth, Brennan and Detective Harding are in the shop as well.
RICHARD BENOIT: You're taking my caddy? Why?
BOOTH: Why? Because we have reason to believe that your Caddy was used in the wrongful death of Rene Mouton.
RICHARD BENOIT: You think that someone did a hit-and-run on Rene Mouton in my Caddy?
BRENNAN: Yes!
BOOTH: Mr. Benoit, does your daughter have a boyfriend?
RICHARD BENOIT: Yeah. Booth whistles and gestures for Detective Harding to show him a picture. She hands it to Richard Benoit.
DETECTIVE HARDING: This him? Benoit takes the picture and we see that it's a picture of Mike Doyle.
RICHARD BENOIT: Mike Doyle. Yeah. Why?
BOOTH: We need to speak to your daughter. Detective Harding clears her throat interrupting Booth.
BOOTH: By which I mean Detective Harding needs to speak to your daughter.
RICHARD BENOIT: I don't know where she is.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Mr. Benoit, right now she's a suspect in the murder of Mike Doyle.
RICHARD BENOIT: Why would Eva kill her boyfriend?
BOOTH: It's hard to explain.
BRENNAN: She was involved in a hit-and-run. When the body surfaced at the morgue, she asked her boyfriend to help her hide it. He refused, so she killed him. Also, she's a member of Secte Rouge.
RICHARD BENOIT: No, no.
BRENNAN: I bet there are drugs in this shop that could knock me out, make me forget. Booth, Brennan and Harding stare at Benoit and each other as he processes this information. He exhales and finally decides he will cooperate.
RICHARD BENOIT: Eva is downstairs praying. Benoit leads them toward the door to the basement.
Cut To: INT. VOODOO SHOP -STAIRS AND DOOR TO BASEMENT ROOM The group comes down the stairs and stops outside a door to the basement room.
RICHARD BENOIT: Eva? Eva, open the door. There's no answer. Detective Harding puts her ear against the door, then turns the knob and enters. Booth enters after her. Benoit sees something.
RICHARD BENOIT: No. Eva. No! He races into the room Cut To: INT. VOODOO SHOP - BASEMENT ROOM Benoit runs toward his daughter, Eva, who is impaled through her chest on a long spike protruding from the wall.
RICHARD BENOIT: Eva! Eva! He slowly pulls her off the stake and lowers her to the floor.
RICHARD BENOIT: Oh, no. No. Brennan walks past them to study the altar that is set up at the end of the room. She calls to Booth.
BRENNAN: Booth? He goes to where she is and sees what she's looking at. There is a skull on the altar.
BOOTH: Could that be Mouton's skull?
BRENNAN: Yes. And this (picks up spike) could be the spike she used on Mouton and Mike Doyle.
Flash Cut To: B/W WALL WITH SPIKE IMAGE, BLOOD DRIPPING DOWN, SOUND OF SCREAMS Flash Cut To: INT. VOODOO SHOP - BASEMENT ROOM Some time has passed because Sam Potter and James Embry have shown up. Eva is now on a gurney.
SAM POTTER: (looking over the room) This is the lair of a bokor, someone who can call the dark spirits. (points at spike in wall) This is used for animal sacrifice.
BRENNAN: It was heated to red hot first to cauterize the wound so it wouldn't bleed.
BOOTH: What, she killed herself because she knew we were coming?
RICHARD BENOIT: No, no. Not...not my Eva.
BRENNAN: She drove the spike through her sternum? Brennan crosses to the body and examines it.
JAMES EMBRY: Sternum, heart, through the chest cavity, through the spine.
SAM POTTER: (at altar) Can I open this?
DETECTIVE HARDING: Why? There are containers on the altar. He points to a few.
SAM POTTER: This one holds the soul of Mr. Rene Mouton. I believe this one holds the soul of the bokor.
RICHARD BENOIT: Why don't you just shut up?
SAM POTTER: I would like to release Mr. Mouton's soul so no other bokor can use it.
DETECTIVE HARDING: No. It's evidence. Don't touch it.
RICHARD BENOIT: I raised my Eva to be a houngan, a healer. How could this happen right underneath my nose?
BRENNAN: Rebellious adolescent? Do you remember how much of the spike was protruding from her back when we first came in?
BOOTH: Six, eight inches.
BRENNAN: Would the fact that the spike was red hot cause it to go through the body more easily?
JAMES EMBRY: No, it might even make it harder.
BRENNAN: (thinks a moment) Eva Benoit did not commit suicide.
DETECTIVE HARDING: Based on what?
BRENNAN: This room isn't even 12 feet wide. Even if she ran at full speed and her aim was perfect, no way the spike would go through her spine unless she was pushed onto it. Sam stares at Richard Benoit and gets closer to him.
SAM POTTER: (re Benoit) He is the sorcerer. He believes he can bring her back to life.
BOOTH: Okay. Everyone just simmer down. Okay, you're saying that he murdered his daughter thinking that he could bring her back to life?
SAM POTTER: You find her dead, you stop looking for Mouton's murderer.
BRENNAN: An inch or two to the left or right, we would never have known it was murder. Had to have been hard pushing her onto the spike, especially if she were resisting. You'd have some wounds of your own. Brennan grabs Benoit's shirt and tugs. Buttons fly off and his torso is exposed revealing a bandaged wound. Brennan steps back.
BRENNAN: There's your killer. (to Booth) I'd really like to go home now.
BOOTH: Yeah, me, too. All right, my advice? Cuff Mr. Wizard here before he puts a spell on you.
DETECTIVE HARDING: What? No written confession?
BOOTH: You want a confession? Threaten to release his daughter's soul. He'll tell you everything. Harding cuffs Benoit as Booth and Brennan begin to leave. Benoit calls to her and they turn back.
RICHARD BENOIT: Dr. Temperance Brennan, you leave here, you go home, it does not matter. There are powers, dark powers to whom distance makes no difference.
BOOTH: Easy, buddy.
RICHARD BENOIT: (chanting a spell) Agua, aqua...
BOOTH: Hey, hey, hey!
RICHARD BENOIT: (continues chanting)
BOOTH: Agua? Benoit keeps chanting and finishes by blowing out a long breath of air toward Brennan. Brennan reaches forward and using two fingers, pokes his eyes. Benoit screams in pain.
BRENNAN: I've noticed that very few people are scary once they've been poked in the eye. Harding laughs.
BOOTH: Yeah. Booth mimics the eye poke, whistles and then they leave.
Cut To: EXT. JEFFERSONIAN - NIGHT BRENNAN: (O.S.) I got in the middle of a battle between two religious sects.
Cut To: INT. JEFFERSONIAN - BRENNAN'S OFFICE Brennan, Booth, Hodgins, Angela, and Zack are seated in her office.
BRENNAN: Benoit used Hurricane Katrina as a diversion to take the soul of a voodoo priest.
ANGELA: And he killed his own daughter.
HODGINS: Dark sorcerers suck, man.
BOOTH: Oh, but, you know, he intended to bring her back to life.
ZACK: There's not really any such thing as spells and magic.
HODGINS: What are you talking about? He put a forgetting hex on Dr. Brennan.
BRENNAN: But it wasn't the spell that made me forget. It was the drugs. Rohypnol.
BOOTH: Blood test didn't find any.
BRENNAN: Gamma hydroxybutyrate?
BOOTH: Not a trace.
BRENNAN: Sodium pentothal?
BOOTH: Nope.
BRENNAN: Severe emotional trauma.
ANGELA: Honey, even I think you're too strong-minded for that.
BRENNAN: There were too many delays in doing my blood test. That, plus the adrenaline of my escape. The drugs were out of my system.
HODGINS: (chuckling) They put the voodoo on you, baby. Booth crosses his arms in some kind of voodoo sign and hisses.
HODGINS: I didn't really mean to call you "baby."
BRENNAN: You guys, stop, now. I mean it.
ZACK: Do you believe in voodoo? Because even if a small part of you believes in it, then it has a grip.
BRENNAN: I do not believe.
BOOTH: (leans in) Maybe just a little?
BRENNAN: No.
BOOTH: Good. Because, you know, if you have any doubts, we'll just have Benoit send you back one of those little satanic mojo pouches from prison.
BRENNAN: Booth, objects have no intrinsic power. A person's future does not depend on some...thing. Things are just things. They do not have magical meaning or powers. Booth is leaning back in his chair, head resting on his hand, listening. He opens his hand and lets the earring that he picked up in Legiere's house dangle for her to see. Brennan stares at it a moment.
BRENNAN: Where'd you get that?
BOOTH: What does it matter? It's just a thing, right? He gives her the earring.
BRENNAN: My mothers' earring. Booth gets up and begins to leave.
BOOTH: No, uh, magical power over your future. Smiling at her, he exits the office.
ANGELA: Does that prove something? Brennan stares at the earring and finally puts the pieces of the puzzle together.
BRENNAN: Yeah. It proves something. She looks at the earring and smiles.
|
Plan: A: her earring; Q: What was ripped out of Brennan's ear? A: an entire day; Q: How much time has Brennan lost? A: even Brennan; Q: Who is rattled by the circumstances? A: vacation; Q: Why is Brennan in New Orleans? A: Hurricane Katrina; Q: What event is Brennan in New Orleans to help identify victims of? A: Booth; Q: Who arrives to help Brennan? A: the scene; Q: What does Booth arrive on? A: the local medical examiner; Q: Who is found murdered? A: Booth and Brennan's investigation; Q: What leads Booth and Brennan into the dark underworld of Southern voodoo? A: answers; Q: What are Booth and Brennan searching for? Summary: When Brennan wakes up in the bathroom of her New Orleans motel room, bloodied, beaten up and her earring ripped out of her ear, she doesn't know what happened or how she got there, and discovers she's lost an entire day of her life. The circumstances and her loss of memory are enough to rattle even Brennan, who's in New Orleans on vacation, helping to identify victims of Hurricane Katrina. Upon learning of Brennan's situation, Booth arrives on the scene to help her decipher her lost day. When the local medical examiner in New Orleans is found murdered, Brennan is targeted as the prime suspect. Booth and Brennan's investigation leads them into the dark underworld of Southern voodoo, but their search for answers may not come in time to clear Brennan's name.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Jamal: And my brother, Bassam... do you love him?
Sheik Rashid: There is not a morning I don't wake up and thank god I am not running against him.
(both laugh)
(Sheik Rashid coughs)
Jamal: You're okay?
Do you want me to get Bassam to help you?
(Jamal grunts)
You think everybody loves you. Forgive me, I don't. Sheik Rashid just collapsed in the men's room. They're saying he's dead.
Barry: What happened?
Ihab: No, no, no, you don't touch my father.
Barry: We're both doctors.
Namir: Ihab, Ihab.
Molly: Wait, wait. I got a pulse.
Barry: How far out are the EMTs?
Jamal: The doctor said he could still wake up.
Barry: I want him to wake up, too, but, uh, he's an old man.
Jamal: If you were to guess...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Barry: Is this why you brought me in here?
Jamal: I need it to be 100% that he doesn't.
Barry: Jamal, what did you do?
My father meant what he said to you 20 years ago. I have a chance to finish what he started, but I know you're the only one in the way of making that happen. Situation that you wanted me to handle. It's done. Tucker, I need you to meet me in the Plaza.
John: What's going on?
Barry: Jamal can't run this country.
(horns honking)
John: So, uh, Jamal killed him? That's what you're telling me?
Barry: I tried to help him, but he's...
It doesn't matter. I... I can't get him through this. He's not capable. At some point... in a... in a day or a week or a month... he'll snap. And-and never mind your elections. There will be no peace in Abbudin with my brother in power. He has to be removed.
John: So, you want to have a coup, oust your own brother? The U.S. is not in the business of regime change.
Barry: Say that again with a straight face.
John: You don't want to be doing this, Barry. Trust me.
Barry: You're right. You are right. This is the last thing I want to be doing. But there's no going back now. Tucker, you're not... you're not blind. You've heard the stories. And if you thought I was full of sh1t, I know you wouldn't still be standing here.
John: And who do you think is going to replace your brother?
Barry: I have spent many years running away from it, but I am an Al Fayeed.
John: You're a goddamn pediatrician. And you're drunk. Go home, sleep it off.
Barry: I am home, John, okay? So make no mistake about what this means to me. I am the one that got the Sheik to sit down at that table. Do you understand? I am the one that kept the tanks out of this Plaza. I can hold this country together until elections. Or you can go back to Washington and you can say, "I had a chance to save this country" "and I didn't take it." It's up to you.
John: We didn't just have this conversation. Until you hear from me, you don't repeat any of what you just said to a soul. Not your wife, not Khaled's ghost. Nobody.
(sighs)
Barry: Morning.
Jenna, welcome. Have a nice flight?
Jenna: Enough Xanax and any flight's nice.
Barry: Hi.
Jenna: Mmm. Single malt?
Barry: Charming as always.
Molly: Hey. Are you okay? I've been trying to call you all night.
Barry: Yeah, I, uh, just, um, needed a little time. I'm sorry. I should have called.
Molly (quietly): Do you want to talk about this?
Barry: You know what, um... I'm just gonna get a couple of hours' sleep. Uh, there's a mourning service for the Sheik later on. Please make sure I'm up.
Molly: Yeah.
Emma: Feel better, dad.
Jamal: How long will you punish me, Bassam? Just tell me, so I know. I'm doing everything I can to make it up to you. I'm dedicating a football pitch tomorrow to keep children off the street. And I'll do better. Just give me a chance. So sorry for your loss.
Walid: My brother has gone home.
Jamal: So sorry for your loss.
Namir: Thank you.
Jamal: Your father was a great man.
Ihab: Thank you.
Jamal: But when Malak al-Maut calls, every man must heed.
Barry: My deepest condolences for your loss.
Ihab: Mmm.
Barry: I, um... We know what it's like to lose a father. I sincerely hope that we, the Rashids and the Al Fayeeds, can... can continue with the process that your father helped begin.
Ihab: We will see.
Namir: My brother doesn't realize that the work left to be done is the ultimate tribute.
Walid: Namir.
Namir: Yeah. Excuse me.
Barry: When the time is right, I would like to continue a dialogue.
Ihab: Oh, really? Last time you wanted to talk, well, I guess you got held up.
Barry: Different circumstances. We're not adversaries now. We're partners in a political process.
Ihab: Ah, the election. It's two years from now. Mmm, global warming, MERS, earthquakes. The world may not even be here in two years.
Barry: What are you saying?
Ihab: I'm saying six months would be better.
(chuckles)
For a country that's never had an open election, it's gonna take a year, at least. Nine months. The time from conception to birth. We owe it to your father to do this right.
Leila: They don't just give out the Nobel Peace Prize for simply having elections. Elections are no guarantee of peace. And nine months from now?
(sighs)
A little presumptuous of your brother, abridging the law you signed.
Jamal: I could run a week from now, a decade from now. Who's left to oppose me?
Leila: Bassam caving in to the Rashid demands only makes you look weak. I only want what's best for you. Can you truly say the same thing about Bassam?
Jamal: What you know about Bassam is sh1t. You want to know about my brother? About his love for me? I put the Sheik to sleep. Bassam, my brother, he made sure he didn't wake up.
Leila: He... Bassam did that?
Jamal: Yes. He is a gentle man. A healer. He went against his own nature to save his brother. So tell me what the hell you know about my brother and me.
Molly: You expecting a call?
Barry: Yeah.
Molly: From who?
Barry: (grunts) Uh... Well, there's just a lot going on.
Molly: Honey, you've worked really hard to get this far. You'll see it through. It's gonna pay off. Why don't you come to bed?
Barry: Yeah, be right there.
Molly: Okay.
(sighs)
(birds chirping)
(TV playing)
(door opens)
Ahmed: Hey, baby.
My father's dedicating a field for the poor kids today. He's a politician now. Crazy. Come with me. Cheer your man.
Nusrat: I'm taking a nap.
Ahmed: You just woke up.
(turns TV off)
(Ahmed sighs)
Why are you taking this sh1t? Baby?
Nusrat: I'm here, Ahmed. What else do you want from me?
Barry: You want me to turn on the A/C?
Yussef: I'm fine.
Barry: Are you sure this is the way to the soccer pitch? Why are we stopping? Yussef? Yussef, what are you doing?
Yussef: You asked John Tucker who in the government had concerns about Jamal.
Barry: You?
Yussef: Many of us have watched, waited, dreaded the day your brother took power. Your father tried as you have tried, but Jamal is Jamal. Don't be surprised, Bassam. You think you went to America, ate a hot dog, and discovered democracy all by yourself?
Barry: What is this place?
John: Just a haven for weary travelers.
Barry: How did you get your bosses to sign off on this?
John: Well, don't get ahead of yourself, Barry. It's a process.
Lea: Oh, he's here. Let me get back to you. Yeah. Lea Exley.
Barry: You're with the state department?
Lea: Oh, whatever helps you sleep nights. So, John told me about your brother and the Sheik. Needless to say, we weren't surprised, but something tells me you weren't, either. On the Hare psychopathy checklist, Jamal scored a click below Jeffrey Dahmer.
Barry: He's still my brother. If we're gonna do this, Jamal gets complete immunity from prosecution. Him and Leila keep their money and their dignity. We find a way to spin it that stepping down was his choice.
Lea: That's a big ask.
Barry: It's non-negotiable.
Lea: So, where are we on the M&M's?
John: Yussef's working his angle.
Barry: What's M&M's?
John: Executing a coup requires three things... Military, media and money. You don't have 'em, it can't be done.
Yussef: But this M&M's... It's also a candy, yes?
Lea: Yes, it's also a candy.
John: The military's number one. We don't have the critical mass inside the military, the whole thing sh1ts the bed.
Barry: Well, Tariq's not gonna stand by while I take over from Jamal.
Lea: Which is why we need to remove Tariq before we remove Jamal.
Barry: Even my father was afraid of taking on Tariq. He has 200 officers in his elite guard loyal only to him.
Lea: Not all. He's made some enemies over the years inside his own camp.
John: We're working a few leads, seeing if we can't exploit the cracks in his power base.
Barry: And what about the money and the media?
John: Hakim Bata.
Barry: Nusrat's father?
John: He owns the country's largest satellite and cable concern.
Barry: Because of my family. He's not gonna risk all that to go against Jamal.
Yussef: I believe he would. The night of the wedding, Jamal went to Nusrat, told her the Al Fayeed family must be certain of her... purity. I'll spare you the details. Fill in what horrors you will. Hakim's wife, Sofia... she is my cousin. We are close. I'll ask her to ask him.
Barry: And you're sure he won't say anything?
Yussef: Hakim has already lost a daughter. He won't risk losing his wife.
Lea: So, there's a lot of moving parts here. If we're lucky, this thing happens fast. A coup's got about a week between inception and execution. That's about as long as people can keep a secret.
John: You'll have to come up with a credible reason to send Molly and the kids back to the States before this goes down. And, uh, until then, best to keep her in the dark.
Lea: Your wife the understanding sort, Barry?
Barry: Leave my family to me.
(man shouting, cheering)
(shouting, applause, cheering)
Reporter: Mr. President, can you make a comment?
Jamal: In six months' time, this dirt will be replaced by a soccer pitch with no rival outside a stadium.
Free to all. Except this fellow. He got past my guard.
(laughter)
(camera shutter clicking)
I will see you all again in a few months when I cut the ribbon. Thank you. Go play.
(applause)
Bassam, come on. Smile a little, at least for the cameras. Don't stay mad at me.
Barry: I'm not mad. This is, uh... this is good.
Jamal: Good.
(Jamal sighs)
Come on, man. How long has it been since we've kicked the ball around?
Barry: Long time.
Jamal: Long time. I've missed this. You and me being brothers. Remember our fishing trips?
Barry: Tasbani river? Dogfish practically jumped on our hooks.
(laughter)
Jamal: We will go again soon like the old days.
Barry: Yussef.
Got an election to organize.
Ahmed: Heads up.
Jamal: Aah. I passed it right to you. What, you want me to put it in a box and tie it with a bow? Ah, come on, Ahmed. I'm sorry.
Ahmed: No, it's... it's not you. Nusrat. I don't get it. We were completely in love, and now she...
Jamal: She went through a lot.
Ahmed: She said that, too.
Jamal: It's good she's talking about it. What does she say?
Ahmed: That she was violated. By that little boy.
Jamal: We can't judge these things or her.
Ahmed: We were in love, and then we got married, and... Now she doesn't want to be around me, close to me. (Ahmed snaps his fingers) Like that. What did I do to make her fall out of love with me?
Jamal: Give it time, Ahmed. Things will work out.
Tariq: Your idiot nephew, Ihab... he's going back to the Plaza?
Walid: He's through with that. He thinks he's outgrown it.
Tariq: Ah. So he believes Bassam's elections make him the logical successor to the presidency. Many countries have elections. Syria, Iran. They're easy enough to manage. In the interest of national security, of course Ihab's party must be outlawed. Problem with that?
Walid: They are known terrorists. I've tried talking to him, but he think he's Che Guevara, so...
Tariq: To win this game, we need to appear to be playing it, which requires an opponent. And the people seem to like the Rashid name.
Walid: Namir, the Sheik's other son.
Ziad: Too idealistic. No stomach for a political campaign.
Tariq: Walid, serve your country. In the name of democracy.
Walid: Me? Sir, I have no political aspirations.
Tariq: Don't worry. You won't win. But you will help us present to the world our commitment to this bullshit. Campaign for six months, make some promises, whatever. After the election, we have another talk. One that shows you how we value your service to the cause.
Walid: Whatever I can do to serve the house of Al Fayeed.
Molly: We sent another MERS case home today, which was huge. You can't imagine. To actually have someone survive.
Barry: Yeah, I bet.
Molly: What about you? How was your soccer field dedication?
Barry: Good. Uh, Jamal shook some hands, kissed some babies, you know.
(Molly laughs)
We, uh... we moved up the election to nine months, so I'm gonna start getting busy. I was... I was thinking, before it gets impossible, I might, uh, organize a trip home.
Molly: Really?
Barry: Yeah, just-just for a week so the kids can see their friends, you can visit your mom and dad. Uh, if-if we don't do it now, we might not get back for a while.
Molly: Yeah, it's a great plan. Let's do it.
Barry: Okay. Uh, how about a week from today?
Molly: Oh, honey. (chuckles) I'm gonna need a little more time than that. I mean, I have a bunch of things to do at the hospital next week, and the kids are in school. Uh, you know, Jenna just got here.
Barry: Yeah, I know.
Molly: Why don't we give ourselves a couple weeks just to sort it out, and then...?
Barry: Because this election is bearing down on me, honey. We just cut our lead-in time by over a year to stop Ihab from backing out on us. And if-if I don't take the time now, then I don't know when I'm gonna.
Molly: Okay, okay. We can figure this out. Uh, how about right after next week?
Barry: Can you ever just say yes to me?
Molly: What's going on with you?
Barry: Nothing. Nothing. But every day, Molly, every day, I compromise. I compromise and negotiate, and just once, just one time, I would like you to say, "yes." "Yes, Barry, let's do whatever you want." "Let's do that."
Molly: Oh, yeah, Barry, because I had such a say in moving here. Leaving our lives behind, that was a real negotiation. You know what... That's fine. I can rearrange things. If it makes you happy to leave next week, we can leave next week.
Barry: Thank you.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Sofia: Hakim has many virtues. Bravery is not one of them.
Yussef: Does he love his daughter?
Sofia: Of course he does.
Yussef: Then how can he abide her living beside a monster? How can you?
Sofia: We could be hanged for even having this discussion.
Yussef: I'm taking the same risk. Promise me you'll talk to him.
Sofia: If I promise, will you leave?
(plates clinking)
Jenna: Good, right?
Emma: Amazing.
Jenna: Sumac.
Never cooked with it before.
Molly: Is it poisonous?
Jenna: Can't be any worse for us than eating hot dogs with pita buns.
Sammy: You know, there are people who would like to do this for us.
Jenna: Don't you miss doing things for yourself?
Sammy: Yeah, that, um... That was the life.
Molly: Funny you should mention that. How would you guys feel about a week-long, all-expenses-paid trip to a place where you can cook your own food and do your own laundry? We're going home for a week.
Sammy: What? Why?
Molly: Don't you miss your home, your stuff?
Emma: Wait, we're really going back?
Molly: Yeah, your father feels like if we don't go now, we may not get back for another year.
Emma: When are we going home? Please tell me you're not lying.
Molly: Six days.
Jenna: I just got here. I'm barely over my jet lag.
Sammy: And Ahmed is taking me to Formula One next week in Dubai.
Jenna: Sammy and I can hang out here, no problem.
Molly: Enough. We're all going back as a family starting next monday. All of us.
Sammy: Why?
Molly: Because, Sammy, it's what your father wants.
Sammy: Well, that sounds like bullshit. I'll talk to dad. It's fine.
Molly: He's made his decision.
Jenna: How very Abbudin of him.
Molly: Seriously, knock it off.
Barry: That's right. Coach is fine.
LAX.
Five tickets. Yeah. And you can confirm by e-mail. Come in. Okay. Thank you.
Leila: Am I interrupting?
Barry: No, no. I was, uh... I was just, um... Please, sit down.
Leila: I know what you did for Jamal. Please, Jamal told me. Only me. I know how hard it must have been for you to go against everything you are. I want for us to work together. We both love Jamal. He needs us.
Barry: He'll, um... he'll grow into the job.
Leila: No. He won't. He's not you. I blamed you for a long time. For leaving me with all of this. With him.
Barry: I know. I know. And I'm sorry.
Leila: No, don't be. I just don't want to be angry anymore.
(knocking)
Barry: Come in.
Yussef: Oh.
I came to review the amendment. But I can come back.
Leila: It's okay. I'll leave you both to work.
Yussef: My cousin Sofia spoke to Hakim. She tried to convince him, but... he's too afraid.
Barry: Of Jamal?
Yussef: Tariq.
Barry: We can't do this without Hakim. You made that clear.
Yussef: She begged him, but he refused. I'm-I'm sorry.
Barry: sh1t.
Yussef: There is nothing to be done.
(TV playing)
(knocking)
Jamal: May I?
Nusrat: It's your home.
(TV shuts off)
Ahmed is out.
Jamal: Yes, I know. There seems to be a misunderstanding. Between us.
Nusrat: A misunderstanding?
Jamal: Yes. Um... Anything I may have done... was for the benefit of my son and my family.
(clears throat)
The Al Fayeed name, it must be protected. But... I could see how my actions...
Nusrat: Your actions...
Jamal: Yes, on... the night... of the wedding.
Nusrat: My wedding. To your son.
Jamal: Yes, I could see how they could be misconstrued.
(clears throat)
And... For that I apologize. So it's done. I have apologized. There's no need to be petulant with Ahmed. It was something between us, and here it ends. You love him, yes?
Nusrat: When I look at him, all I see is you.
Jamal: We are Al Fayeeds. We, each one of us, have our obligations. The father, to ensure the purity of his son's wife. The wife, to be a wife. And you will be a wife for him. A good wife. You can... feel it. Or you can act it, if you have to. But make him believe it. This will be best for all parties. Both our families have suffered enough, yes?
(chuckles)
Young lady...
Nusrat: Whatever you say, we both know this is what you really want.
Jamal: No, I told you...
Nusrat: What? That you apologize? That you were doing your duty? That you're a better man?
Jamal: Yes.
Nusrat: Do other people believe you when you say that?
Jamal: Yes.
Nusrat: So only I know what you really want. To take everything from me. From your son. Finish it.
(indistinct chatter)
Barry: I used to come here as a kid.
Hakim: Yeah.
It's very popular. With the locals.
Barry: You know why I'm here.
Hakim: As I told my wife...
Barry: Now tell me.
Hakim (quietly): I won't say anything about your plans. I promise. I have no desire to endanger my family further.
Barry: You're a good father. You want to protect your daughter. Now, the best way you can do that is to help me.
Hakim: This is what I got for trying to protect my family.
Barry: My brother's not well. But things can be different here. Will be different. But not without you.
Hakim: Why are you doing this? You are an Al Fayeed. Jamal is your brother.
Barry: And it kills me to betray him, but, from where I'm standing, I don't have a choice. And neither do you. Sooner or later, my brother's gonna panic. And then he's gonna lash out and when he does, the whole country is gonna meet the man that you and Nusrat know. And that'll mean civil war.
Hakim: Maybe.
Barry: Right. Maybe. And maybe when the mob comes, they won't come for you. And string you up to a lamp post and throw your wife and your daughter in jail. Because you're all family.
Hakim: Okay, look...
Barry: You think that you can play it safe by hitching your wagon to Jamal, don't you? You think that you can stay on the sidelines. There are no sidelines. Only sides. So, tell me... do you really want to bet your family and your country on my brother? Colonel.
Ziad: The shwarma over there... is it good? It's supposed to be the best in the city.
Barry: Why are you following me?
Ziad: It's dangerous for you. There are many enemies of the state.
Barry: I can look after myself.
Ziad: Still, it would be best if you came with me.
Barry: Sure, just let me call my brother first.
Ziad: And tell him that you plan to overthrow him? Tucker sent me. To make sure you don't do things like walk out of meetings such as the one you just had, in broad daylight, with no cover. Listen... Tariq's finished. He's old. His iron fist bullshit is gonna get all of us killed. The things I had to do for Tariq... and your brother... It sickens me. If you really do have a way forward for us, we have to try.
John: Huh, okay. Well, that's good. Wait to hear from us. Well, golden boy did it.
Lea: He flipped Hakim?
John: And with no exposure. I'm starting to think he's got a knack for this.
Lea: Look, I know you got a boner for Barry, but don't get too attached.
John: Meaning what?
Lea: Meaning don't get too attached.
John: Well, he's the only game in town. Jamal can't do it. One day he croaks the Sheik, next week he tells us to take our base and go home. Plus, our fingerprints aren't on it, it's homegrown. It's a good plan.
Lea: Mike Tyson used to say, "everybody's got a plan until they get hit in the face."
Barry: All right, stop here.
Molly: Hey.
Barry: How was your day?
Molly: It's been a day. I took care of the passports, by the way.
Barry: Good.
Molly: Uh, except for Jenna's. She's gonna stay.
Barry: What?
Molly: Yeah, she was bitching about the flying, saying she needs some stability in her life. Anyway, I don't want to lose my heart rate.
Barry: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Jenna can't stay here, okay? She has to come with us.
Molly: Why? She doesn't want to go, let her stay... she'd just bitch the whole trip.
Barry: Molly, I don't need you to ask me why, I just need you to make this happen.
Molly: I'm not doing this again. This isn't how you and I work. We talk to each other. Or we used to. Barry, none of this is making any sense to me. Just tell me what's going on.
Barry: Walk with me. You told me everything was fine. You said every day things were getting better.
Barry: I thought they were. But I was wrong.
Molly: So... Then we all just go back?
Barry: Just you, Jenna and the kids.
Molly: What? No, we're not going without you. Why would you stay here if Jamal won't even be president? There's nothing you can do.
Barry: I have to stay. Molly, I'm taking his place.
Molly: No. Bullshit, Barry. You f... you feel responsible, he's your brother, and you couldn't fix him. But it's not your job to fix this place. Staying here, doing this. You don't belong here. Barry, come on. Listen to me, we're gonna go home. Together, okay? Before it's too late.
Barry: I can't.
Molly: Why not?
Barry: Because I can't.
Molly: How dare you put me... our kids in this position, Barry?
Barry: This is why you have to leave.
Molly: And then what? I mean, what do we come back to... you're the president? That's the life we're coming back to?
Barry: Interim president. Just until the elections.
Molly: Wait, are you running?
(Barry sighs)
What the hell do you know about running a country?
Barry: Do you think I want this?
Molly: I don't know. If you're asking whether I think you get off on the power... The-the prodigal son returns to the throne... I don't know.
Barry: Too much has happened, Molly, okay? The Sheik... everything that we worked for. His death... has to count for something.
Molly: They hang people in this part of the world for this sh1t, Barry. Worse.
Barry: That's not going to happen, Molly, I can't do this without you.
Molly: No, you don't get to play that card again. You already played that when you told me... You lied to me and our family. You remember? "Just a few months, Molly." "Just until Jamal gets on his feet." You ripped us from our lives, Barry. For what?
Barry: Molly, listen to me, Molly.
Molly: No. You made me promise. You made me promise we'd go home.
Barry: Molly.
Molly: I guess you made liars out of both of us, huh?
Barry: Listen to me.
Molly: I'll tell whatever lies you want. To your brother. And your kids. I'll make sure Jenna comes home with us. I'm taking my family home.
(silverware clinking)
Barry: Honey, can you pass me the, um...
Thank you.
Jenna: Seeing as how it's been decreed that we're leaving next week... Permission to go shopping?
Barry: With, uh, what money, Jenna?
Man: Mr. Al Fayeed? Your brother would like to see you.
Barry: I'm having breakfast with my family, I'll, uh...
Man 2: This is best done in person.
Barry: Be right back. Jamal, what's up?
Jamal: When you were gone, I used to imagine what you must have been doing in Pasadena, California. Surfing? Blondes everywhere. So far away. I grew my hair out, dyed it like David Lee Roth. I thought that was what my American brother looked like. Did you?
Barry: No, I didn't.
(Jamal exclaims)
Jamal: Leila made fun of me.
I can't blame her.
(laughs)
I missed us so much.
Barry: I'm, um, I'm back now.
Jamal: That is right. Brother.
Barry: So, uh... Wha-what are you doing down here?
Jamal: Looking at a boat.
Barry: Which one?
Jamal: This one. Yours.
Barry: Jamal, uh... I can't.
Jamal: We can't go fishing in my boat. That's ostentatious. Beautiful here.
|
Plan: A: his father; Q: Who's legacy is Bassam trying to fulfill? A: his brother; Q: Who feels incompetent as a ruler? A: Yussef; Q: Who does Bassam hatch a secret plot with? A: Jamal; Q: Who does Bassam want to oust? A: Abuddin; Q: What is the name of the country? A: Hakim; Q: Who refuses to get involved in the coup? A: a quagmire; Q: What is Bassam in when he tries to force his family to go back home for a week? A: his wife; Q: Who does Bassam aggravate? Summary: Bassam starts to fulfill his father's legacy. Realizing that his brother feels incompetent as a ruler, he hatches a secret plot with Yussef to oust Jamal so that Bassam could ideally establish Abuddin the way his father had wanted. Meanwhile, things go awry when Hakim, the critical member of the coup, refuses to get involved. Also, Bassam is in a quagmire when he tries to force his family to go back home for a week, aggravating his wife in the process.
|
Dwight: [as elevator door closes] Hold it!
Creed: [notices something new about Dwight] New glasses.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Erin: Dwight. What a ridiculous, fancy clown you are.
Dwight: I am dressed according to the Schrute codes of mourning. My aunt Shirley has died.
Pam: Oh, Dwight. I'm so sorry. Were you guys close?
Dwight: I would say that she raised me, but let's not kid each other. I raised myself. She was, however, the closest thing I had to a mother.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: My actual mother was very cold and distant. I'd say she was the closest thing I had to an aunt.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: My condolences.
Dwight: Keep them.
Jim: OK. Now, what do we got in these two pails?
Dwight: In keeping with Schrute custom, I will either invite you to Saturday's funeral by sprinkling red, fertile dirt in your face. Or, I will ask you to keep a respectful distance during my time of grief, with a dusting of black, slightly acidic soil.
Erin: [after Dwight tosses dirt on her face] What color is it?
Phyllis: It looks pretty black.
Kevin: [after Dwight tosses dirt in his face] Yep. Acidic, all right.
Oscar: [while Dwight prepares to toss dirt] Oh, thank god.
Dwight: Excuse me?
Oscar: I'm so sorry, Dwight. And if you want me to be there, of course I will go. I just... have a personal training session...
Dwight: OK. That's not... [tosses red dirt in Oscar's face]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Oscar: I get red dirt. Nobody is getting red dirt. I should've kept my mouth shut. We're not even that close. I've only known Dwight... 12 years. 12 years. Time is a son of a bitch.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jim: [as Dwight prepares to throw dirt in his face] I'm sure... I'm sure she's in a better place.
Dwight: I really hope so. [unexpectedly tosses dirt in Pam's face]
Jim: OK. [as Dwight mixes coffee with dirt in his hand] This is crazy. You can't make a dirt ball.
Dwight: I miss her so much.
Jim: OK.
Dwight: You know? [Dwight screams and throws dirt ball at Jim]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Mose: [playing guitar and singing 'Oh What a Beautiful Morning'] Zeke's here.
Dwight: Zeke.
Zeke: Hey, Dwight. Mose, Mom says 'hi'.
Mose: 'Hi' to Mom.
Dwight: Are you going?
Mose: Will there be ghosts there?
Dwight: [simultaneously with Zeke] Get in the sidecar. Get in the sidecar.
Zeke: You get in the sidecar.
Dwight: Get...
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [at the grave site, to Oscar] What are you doing here?
Oscar: You invited me. You threw the red dirt in my face.
Dwight: [smirking] Oh, yeah.
Oscar: [as a car approaches the grave site] Who is that?
Dwight: Jeb, my brother.
Oscar: You have a brother?
Dwight: Uh-huh.
Jeb: I didn't really see a better parking spot. [drives into the dug grave] Whoa! Look what I did. It's a rental. [Dwight approaches and hugs him] You wanna go in? [both attempt to put the other in the dug grave]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Erin: [upon seeing Todd Packer enter the office] Oh, gosh.
Todd Packer: Hey, Moonface. Nice to see those shiny, little Chinese eyes of yours.
Clark: [to Pam] Who's this guy?
Pam: ... bad.
Todd Packer: Hi, all.
Phyllis: Why are you here, Todd?
Todd Packer: OK. Let's get right to it. I guess. My name is Todd Packer and I am in recovery. I'm working the steps. I'm on step eight of Alcoholics Anonymous and step nine of Narcotics Anonymous. I'm here to make amends. I've been hard to deal with over the past years. Kind of a jerk. I know it. I don't need you to accept my apology, but I'd love it if you did.
Kevin: Packer, we accept. [others disagree]
Todd Packer: Actually, they have a specific way I need to do this. And, I have to go through examples of stuff. OK. Uh, where to begin. [to Pam] Hey. Pam-pam and her pam-pams. Wow. I have said some crude things about those. But, they are beautiful. And, I guess that's why I acted out. Pam, I'm sorry I objectified you. And, personified your breasts. Sorry, guys. [to Phyllis] Oh boy. I have not been nice to you. Philly, I'm sorry for the things I said about your size. To your face, behind your back, and in the form of drawings. Actually, that goes to all you double XLs. Stanley, Kevin, [points to Clark] this kid in a few years.
Pam: Todd, you're just saying insults in the form of an apology.
Todd Packer: Why can't I just be nice? Truth is, I really like you guys. I really do. OK. The apology's just half of it. The big thing is making amends. And, that's why I brought these. I went out to the Steamtown Mall and I got you all cupcakes. From that place 'Nipples'.
Pam: I think it's called 'Nibbles'.
Todd Packer: Huh. The mind sees what it wants to, huh? [hands cupcake to Erin] There you go.
Pam: Hey, hey, guys. Wait. Before we accept these cupcakes, I think we need to have a conversation privately in the conference room. Don't eat the cupcake.
[SCENE_BREAK]
German Minister: We are here today to join this woman and the ground. Man is born of woman and his life is full of turmoil.
Jeb: [gathers and tastes soil] Huh. It's crap soil. Nothing's going to grow here.
Dwight: Doesn't matter. It's a cemetery.
Jeb: Yeah, well, I'm just saying it's garbage soil, that's all.
Dwight: Well, the only thing we're planting here is dead bodies.
Jeb: It's fine 'cause they're not going to grow.
Dwight: Well, thank god they're not because we don't want to make zombies.
Jeb: Good. I agree. Don't worry about it. You won't get any.
German Minister: Would the family care to say something?
Dwight: You had black hair and then gray hair.
Zeke: You were the aunt to my cousins. Most of your life you were 5'4", at the end you were 5'1".
Oscar: They're a descriptive people.
Fannie: [approaches and hugs Dwight] I see you started without me.
Dwight: You were late. So, what am I supposed to do?
Fannie: Well, I told you...
Jeb: Hi, Fannie.
Fannie: Hey.
Oscar: Who is that?
Zeke: Dwight's sister.
Oscar: Dwight has a sister?
Zeke: Yeah.
Oscar: She's beautiful.
Zeke: Blugh.
Dwight: [to his nephew Cameron] Hello, little man. Haven't seen you in a few years. [after a weak handshake] What is this? Oh, god. [after a truck with many girls in the bed pulls up] Henry.
Henry: Dwight.
Dwight: I see Esther's back in town.
Esther: Hi Dwight.
Dwight: Hi Esther. Nice of you to come today.
Esther: This was on the way. We're going into town after. I need yarn.
Dwight: Well, if you can snap two chicken necks with a single motion, why use two motions to slaughter those chickens.
Fannie: We're at a funeral. There's a funeral going on here.
Dwight: OK.
Henry: Anyone mention her height?
Zeke: Yep.
Henry: Land size? [all shake heads] [removes hat] Shirley, at 1600 acres, you have the largest farm in the area. Sharing borders with six other farms. Including my own farm. And your nephew Dwight's. [replaces hat] OK. [drives away]
Dwight: So, let's get it going.
German Minister: [approaches Fannie, offering a shotgun] Would you want to do the honors?
Fannie: Oh, right. Uh, you know, I don't think we have to do this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: We Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor to tell us who's alive and who's dead. But, there was an unlucky streak of burying some heavy sleepers. And, when grave robbers discovered some scratch marks on the inside of some of the coffins, we decided to make sure that our dead were completely dead. Out of kindness.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Oscar: [after Dwight opens coffin and begins firing into it] That's it for me. [exits]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: I don't think we should eat Packers' cupcakes. We can't give him the satisfaction.
Phyllis: I agree. Even though that place has a way of making those cupcakes so they're dense. But, they're also really fluffy.
Pam: We can't let him buy our forgiveness with cupcakes. He was awful to us. And, he still is. How much is a cupcake? $2.50? Is that the price of our dignity?
Creed: $3.75 a cupcake, actually. $3.67 if you buy a dozen.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Creed: I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? That's rich. But, numbers? I have a gift. I guess that's why I'm an accountant.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Clark: Hey, man. I don't think we've met. I'm Clark.
Todd Packer: Oh. I'm Todd. Oh, sorry for calling you a fat, little runt earlier.
Clark: You didn't actually say that.
Todd Packer: No? Wow. I'm in this mode now where I'm apologizing for thoughts that are in my head. [Clark fake laughs] Hey. I have a crazy feeling [hands Clark a cupcake] that you are really gonna like this.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Stanley: Maybe we should eat the cupcakes. Haven't we done enough to Packer? I mean, we sent him down to Florida on a prank. [to Nellie] And you did fire him.
Nellie: I did. I did, yes. And it was purely political. He did nothing wrong.
Pam: Would any of you be saying any of this if the cupcakes were from Supermart?
Angela: Do they even have a bakery anymore?
Kevin: They do. It's awful. And, it's getting worse every day.
Pam: So, it really is just about the cupcakes.
Andy: Wow, you're right. It is just about the cupcakes.
Phyllis: So, we're all agreed? No one touches those cupcakes?
Meredith: [as all agree] OK.
Phyllis: OK. Packer can go to hell.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Aunt Shirley: [on a recorded video] Thank you for coming to my funeral. As I gaze at life's big sunset, I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong. You've all disappointed me greatly. Fannie. A single mamma in the city.
Dwight: [agreeing with Shirley] Thank you.
Aunt Shirley: Jeb. A street pusher.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jeb: After I left the army, I bought a 9-acre worm farm from a Californian. Turns out "worm" means something else out there. And, I am now in the business of... pain management. Or, the smoking of pain management.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: I can't stand the fact that Jeb is a pot farmer. He could've grown anything. Anything in the world. He used to talk about growing a peanut-grape hybrid. One plant, one sandwhich.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Aunt Shirley: We can't just sit by and watch our family farm disappear. So, here are my terms. Dwight, Fannie, Jeb. If you come back home, I will leave you my farm. So, there, you have it.
Fannie: Is she crazy? [as Dwight considers] Dwight?
Jeb: Buddy? Buddy?
Fannie: No, no, no.
Jeb: Snap out of it. Dwight?
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: Let's do this. Let's run Aunt Shirley's farm. I'm in. Boom.
Fannie: No, no, no. I'm not moving back here. Are you crazy?
Dwight: Of course you are.
Fannie: Look. I, I don't want to be mean or like insulting. I know that you like it here. But, Dwight, it's just that farm life lacks a certain... sort of sophistication.
Dwight: Oh my god.
Fannie: That Cammy and I are drawn to. And, I don't know. The men are just... it's almost like there's a... a willing ignorance.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Fannie: Yes. I, thank you for asking me. I actually have written a little bit of poetry. That's crazy. And, I was recently published. Which is just... [reaches in to bag, removes folded paper] maybe I have. Yep. I do. Here it is from the um, Hartford Women's Lit Quarterly.com. A Willing Ignorance by Fannie Schrute.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jeb: Totally. Yep. The people here are like [makes farting sound, laughs] Like a fart. You know what I'm saying? Like a fart?
Dwight: You know what? Let's take a couple of nights and stay here and think about Aunt Shirley's offer.
Jeb: Couple of nights couldn't hurt.
Fannie: Uh, somehow how I think a couple of nights could hurt.
Dwight: You will say 'yes' on one. Five, four, three, two, get ready to say 'yes', one. Yes.
Zeke: [as Dwight says 'yes'] Absolutely.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Zeke: Growing up with Dwight and Mose was not easy. Uh, Dwight was obviously the cool one. And, Mose was the visionary. Which left me to be the comedian.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Fannie: That doesn't work on me.
Dwight: OK.
Fannie: By the way, that's not...
Dwight: [counts down in French]
Fannie: Very funny. OK. Oui, oui, oui.
Dwight: Oui.
Fannie: Oh my goodness.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Dwight: [while everyone is gathered playing and singing "Sons & Daughters"] People underestimate the power of nostalgia. If baseball can use it to get people to care about that worthless sport, then I can use it to get my siblings to care about the farm. Nostalgia is truly one of the great human weaknesses. Second only to the neck.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Fannie: [after seeing Dwight lay something down in front of Esther] So, I forgot about this old custom. If a man is interested in courting a woman, he may throw the beaks of a crow at her. And then, if she's interested in accepting the courtship, she has to destroy the beaks. [Esther crushes the beaks leaving Dwight satisfied]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Todd Packer: Hey, uh, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for screwing you.
Meredith: I'm not sorry about it.
Todd Packer: I am. It was my rock bottom.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Angela: [while Kevin stares at his cupcake] Kevin, you can do this.
Kevin: You don't know that.
Pam: Kevin, um, let's think of something to distract us. Uh, like the movie Skyfall. You loved the movie Skyfall, right?
Angela: Uh-huh.
Kevin: James Bond was a spy.
Pam: Yes. He was a good spy.
Kevin: Yeah. He was the best. James Bond would love this cupcake.
Todd Packer: Hey, you know what? It was, uh, great to see you all again. Take care. [exits]
[SCENE_BREAK]
Todd Packer: I am going through a twelve-step program. I'm currently on step zero. Which is have a [expletive] of fun. I spent six hours carefully removing the frosting and then layering in a variety of drugs, some legal, some not. Some laxative, some constipating. You don't fire the Pac-Man and expect to get away with it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Guys, I'm proud of us. I think we did the right thing. [after noticing Angela easting cupcake] Hey!
Angela: What, Pam?
Pam: [as others eat] Wait!
Angela: He's gone. It's just a cupcake now.
Pam: No, no. It's the principle of the thing.
Andy: [exits office, chewing] Oh my god. I forgive him so much. [Kevin begins making choking sounds] Whoa, is he choking?
Angela: Kevin?
Kevin: [after long choking and refusing help from Meredith] Oh, that was fantastic.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cameron: [after following Dwight to the chicken coop, before sunrise] Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them?
Dwight: Yes, very. You really need to stand back because these are killer chickens.
Cameron: I was just asking you something I didn't know.
Dwight: Which is fine. And, you learned something. But, it was kind of a stupid question so you're gonna get made fun of a little bit.
Cameron: [after grabbing an egg] Are we gonna eat these today?
Dwight: If you want.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Cameron: Is that a guillotine?
Dwight: This? No. That'd be cool, though. It's for milking.
Cameron: [referencing goat] That's a cow?
Dwight: Did you just ask me if this was a cow?
Cameron: [after seeing Dwight smelling milk] What are you doing now?
Dwight: Come here. Come on. Grab a teat with each hand. Sit down. There you go. Squeeze from top to bottom. Really pull. Use some muscle. Draw the milk out. All right. Going all right?
Cameron: I don't know.
Dwight: Well, is the udder hot? Is the milk clumpy?
Cameron: I don't know any of that.
Dwight: OK, you suck at this. Give me those teats. Didn't your father teach you anything?
Cameron: I never met him.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Pam: Good morning, Erin.
Erin: [looking disheveled] Hey.
Pam: Hey, everybody. Um, I decided to eat my cupcake. I thought about it last night. I talked to Jim. I talked to my sister. And, I think that, as long as Todd Packer doesn't know, it's OK.
Phyllis: I don't care what you do, Pam. Just please stop making noise.
Pam: Phyllis!
Clark: Packer laced the cupcakes.
Pam: No!
Meredith: Did you get diarrhea or were you stoned?
Angela: Some of us got both. [raises hand]
Pam: Oh my god! Is everyone OK?
Phyllis: Last night, I got out all of my old dolls and played with them on the living room floor. Then, I ordered ten American Girl outfits online. It was thousands of dollars.
Nellie: Yeah? Well, count yourself lucky, Phyllis. I got the toilet.
Stanley: Me too. [holds up four fingers]
Clark: I went Christmas caroling in March and I fertilized some bushes along the way. So, not my best night. But, not my worst night.
Phyllis: What did you do, Andy?
Andy: Last night? Oh, god, um, I don't know. [cuts to him arm wrestling Kevin] Na, nothing really. Kevin?
Kevin: Why would you ask me?
Andy: I'm not, a... I'm just. I don't know. [cuts to him spinning a plate like a record and Kevin dancing] Oh. Gosh. I actually. It is hard to recall. Um. [cuts to he and Kevin sitting on a table touching each others face] Pretty normal night.
Kevin: [he and Andy embrace each other in tears] My night was just like that. [cuts to him and Andy trading clothes] Meaning normal.
Andy: Yeah. I didn't see you last night at all. [cuts to him dancing by prostrate Kevin]
Kevin: Nope. I did not see you either.
Pam: Wow. He is officially the worst human being.
Kevin: [as Pam attempts to throw cupcake away] Ah. [stops Pam and takes cupcake]
Pam: But, Kevin that's...
Kevin: Yeah. No, I understand, Pam. I understand.
Angela: [shaking head in disbelief] No.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Todd Packer: So, that's it. I just wanted to make amends. [slides cupcakes across table to Darryl and Jim]
Darryl: That's big of you, man. Takes a lot of courage.
Jim: Ooh, red velvet. I should apologize too.
Todd Packer: It's OK. I'm over it.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Jeb: Oof. This is no nine-acre worm farm. This is a beast. Whoever's managing this thing is gonna have a hell of a job. Not it.
Fannie: Not it.
Dwight: It. [to Fannie] That kid doesn't put in some farm time, he's gonna stay like that.
Fannie: All right.
|
Plan: A: Oscar; Q: Who attends the funeral? A: Dwight's Aunt Shirley; Q: Who's funeral does Oscar attend? A: Schrute Farms; Q: Where is the funeral held? A: Majandra Delfino; Q: Who plays Dwight's sister Fannie? A: Thomas Middleditch; Q: Who plays Dwight's brother Jeb? A: Todd Packer; Q: Who returns to the office to make amends? A: David Koechner; Q: Who plays Todd Packer? Summary: Oscar attends the funeral of Dwight's Aunt Shirley at Schrute Farms. Dwight's sister Fannie ( Majandra Delfino ) and brother Jeb ( Thomas Middleditch ) also attend and Shirley stipulates in her will that they are set to inherit her farm only if they choose to live and work it themselves. Todd Packer ( David Koechner ) returns to the office to make amends as part of an alcoholic and narcotics recovery process but instead hands out cupcakes laced with laxatives and drugs.
|
ACT ONE
Scene One - Frasier's Apartment. Martin is sat in his chair reading the paper when Niles and Frasier enter.
Martin: Hey boys, how was dinner?
Niles: Oh, let's just say when I picked my lobster out of the tank I had no idea that he was in for a better evening than I was.
Martin: What happened?
Frasier: Well, it started off well enough. First they seated us at a superb table, much better than the one next to us - where, unfortunately, they sat Daphne and Donny.
Martin: Oh, jeez.
Frasier: They were being very affectionate, of course: whispering, laughing, holding hands...
Niles: This in a place where people were trying to eat.
Frasier: Well, in an attempt to make things better I suggested that Niles and I switch seats so that he could face the other table. Of course, only moments later they seated Maris there with her new boyfriend. Also being affectionate.
Niles: Grooming each other like spider monkeys! She was deliberately taunting me, playing the same coquettish games we used to play
in restaurants: batting her eyes and coyly hiding behind her breadstick. And then to top it all, the Pouille Foussé we ordered was a grave disappointment.
Frasier: Yes, well I urged him to send it back, but no, he didn't want to create a scene in front of Daphne.
Niles: Not that she would have even noticed, the way Donny was feeding her forkfuls of risotto, as if she had lost her arms instead of her mind, what is she doing with him?!
Martin: Well, some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed.
Niles: Well, at the Shangri-La, the highlight of my day is getting out of bed, so I can slam it back up into the wall!
Martin: How long are you gonna stay there? You can afford to go back to the Montana now, can't you?
Niles: Yes, but thanks to Frasier there's a tenant living there!
Frasier: May I remind you that you begged me to find you a sublet - Someone austere and dignified enough not to offend your starchy neighbors?
Niles: Frasier, I'm not trying to blame you, it's just that my whole world has crashed down around me and I want to go home.
Frasier: Well, I'm sorry Niles, he's still got two months left on his sublet.
Martin: Can't you give him a call, lean on him a little bit?
Frasier: Dad, the man has a lease, I can't very well call him up and ask him to move out.
Then Daphne enters from her night with Donny. They all greet her.
Martin: How was dinner?
Daphne: Wonderful. [to the brothers] You should have come over and joined us.
Niles: Oh well, it looked like that you had enough to contend with, what with your [sotto voce] table's fork shortage.
Daphne: Oh, Donny takes such good care of me. You know, after you left, I made the tiniest comment about not liking the Pouille Foussé and he sent it back. That snooty wine steward argued with him but Donny made a bit of a scene with the owner and the next thing you knew, our entire meal was on the house. [laughs] I've never been prouder of him.
She exits. Niles falls against the arm of the couch with a pathetic whine.
Niles: Frasier, I wanna go home.
Frasier: [picks up phone] I'll call Dr. MacLowery.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Two - Niles's Apartment. In the hallways of the Montana, Niles and Frasier are standing outside his apartment. Mrs. Latimer comes to greet him.
Latimer: Dr. Crane, you're back.
Niles: Yes, Mrs. Latimer. Fortunately my sublet was able to move out early.
Latimer: I trust your tour was a success?
Niles: A triumph.
Latimer: Good, take care.
Mrs. Latimer leaves as Frasier processes the conversation between her and Niles.
Frasier: Tour?
Niles: I could hardly let these people know where I was living. [presses doorbell] I told them I was on a lecture tour of Africa so they wouldn't try to contact me.
Frasier: Ah! [then] You know, Niles, maybe he isn't here. Maybe we should just let ourselves in.
Frasier opens the door and he steps in with Niles. Niles is taken aback by seeing his home again.
Niles: Oh... I'm home. Oh, I can already feel the last four months dropping away.
Frasier: Yes, soon Africa will be just a memory.
Niles: I just want to close my eyes, [does] and savor the serenity...
Then all of a sudden tap dancing is heard offstage.
Niles: What the hell is that?!
Dr. MacLowery comes onto the scene tap-dancing, with headphones on, and sails down the banister.
Frasier: It's Dr. MacLowery! He carries on dancing. Niles screams.
Frasier: Dr. MacLowery! What are you doing?
MacLowery: [takes off his headphones] Oh, that was a ball change, leading to a riff drop. You've got to "Lick it & Stick it."
He starts dancing again, until Frasier stops him.
Frasier: When did you take up tap dancing?
MacLowery: Oh, years ago. I figured if I didn't dance, I'd go crazy.
Then he begins tap-dancing again, fluttering his arms wildly, and then dancing all over the room like a mental patient.
Niles: I'm not sure he caught it in time.
MacLowery then takes a run-up and does that little trick where you jump on the chair and tip it over. Niles screams at this. Then MacLowery does a step routine that involves kicking the toes of his tap shoes against the little step below the dining table.
Niles: Ooh, baseboard, baseboard!
Frasier: Dr. MacLowery, please - the neighbors!
MacLowery: Tell me about it! Why, those bunch of sourpusses. All they do is complain! [then] Sunshine-rain!
MacLowery taps into the kitchen. The doorbell sounds. Niles opens the door to Alfred & Carol Larkin [last seen in "To Kill A Talking Bird"] and Mr. Probst.
Niles: Oh well, look who it is, it's the tenants' board come to welcome me home. Carol and Alfred Larkin, you remember my brother, Frasier. Oh, and Mr. Probst.
Probst: See here, Crane. We abhor noise in this building.
Niles: Oh, I couldn't agree more.
To which the tap-dancing starts up again in the kitchen.
Alfred: What do you call that?
Frasier: I believe that was "Lick it & Stick it"!
Carol: This has been going on for months. We would have contacted you if we had known how to.
Niles: Well, I am sorry but Dr. MacLowery....
Alfred: Dr. Crane, I'm afraid the board is leaning toward rescinding your lease.
Niles: What? Why?
Probst: Because you're a menace, Crane. You always have been. You have something of a reputation in this building, what with all the raucous parties you've hosted. I'm not a well man. I have a serious heart problem and I demand quiet, we all do.
Niles: Well, Mr. Probst, I assure you...
Probst: Uh-uh. We're having a board meeting tomorrow evening in which we intend to discuss your situation, and if I were you I wouldn't plan on unpacking.
Niles is taken aback as the three leave.
Carol: Nice seeing you again. Niles closes the door.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Three - Niles's Apartment. It is the evening of the meeting and everyone is milling about. Frasier, Daphne and Niles are at the front. Daphne is tending to the punch.
Daphne: It was good of you to go to all this trouble for your brother, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: Oh well, in a way I felt responsible.
Niles: Oh, really? I don't why. Just because you sublet my apartment to Bo Jangles the Loon?
The doorbell sounds.
Daphne: Ooh! I'll get it. [she does]
Frasier: Niles, will you relax?
Niles: How can I? In an hour these people will throw me right out of my home.
Frasier: Which they won't do if you show them a good time at this little reception. A couple of drinks, some food, some witty conversation, they'll realize what an asset you are to this building.
Daphne brings over Roz and Martin. Daphne takes some drinks to the guests as Roz goes forward to the brothers.
Roz: Hey, guys.
Niles: Hey, Roz.
Frasier: Hi, Roz.
Roz: [sarcastic, looking at old people] Great party, Niles! I was a little surprised to get your last-minute invitation. You're not trying to set me up with anybody, are you?
Niles: [laughs] Don't be ridiculous.
Roz: Good.
Niles: You're here because the caterer cancelled. [takes her coat] Now listen, I need you to open the wine, cut up some limes and hang up this coat.
Roz: [peeved] You actually think that I'm so hard-up for a night out that I'd spend an evening pushing drinks in "God's Waiting Room"?
Niles: Shush!
Frasier: Roz, please!
Roz: You're paying for the babysitter.
Frasier: All right, done.
Roz takes the coat away. Martin goes to his sons.
Martin: What am I, the dishwasher?
Frasier: No, Dad, you were invited because... well, it just wouldn't be a party without you. Although there may be a few women here who are unattached, who might just take a shine to an old debonair dog like yourself.
Martin: I'm just a piece of meat to you guys, aren't I?
Martin wanders off as Daphne comes back. Her earring falls off and down her front.
Daphne: Oh, there goes that damn loose earring again! Thank goodness it didn't fall in the punch bowl. We don't want someone choking on it, do we?
Frasier: Yes, although nothing says "party" like a tracheotomy.
Meanwhile, the people are listening to Niles.
Carol: You must tell us all about your African tour, Dr. Crane.
Alfred: [sarcastic] Yes, did the local people actually enjoy your lectures?
Niles: Well yes, quite a bit. Except of course for the pygmies. Most of it went right over their heads.
Niles laughs but the joke falls silent on the rest. The doorbell sounds.
Niles: I'll get it. Niles opens the door and lots of people come in.
Niles: Oh, the rest of the board, pleased to see you.
Latimer: Dr. Crane, while you were on the subcontinent did you happen to spot any rare African water fowl?
Niles: Just one, but it was already spotted!
Again, no one even raises a giggle at the joke.
Niles: [responding to nothing] I'll get it.
Niles exits to the kitchen where he finds his pet bird, Baby, nibbling the food. Frasier is shooing it.
Frasier: For God's sake, Niles, will you do something with this damn bird?
Niles: Onto your perch. [picks her up and puts her on her perch] Here you go. Over here.
Baby: Niles sucks.
Niles: The boys at the Shangri-La used to love teaching you things like that. So tiring.
Baby: Bite me, Niles.
Niles: Right back at you. Frasier, please hurry with the hors d'oeuvres, the guests are already hostile towards me. I'm not going to win any points by starving them.
Baby: Stuff it, Niles.
Niles: Oh, don't tempt me!
Niles exits with some nibbles as Mrs. Latimer catches him.
Latimer: Dr. Crane.
Niles: Yes.
Latimer: Who is that distinguished-looking man over there?
We see that it's Martin covering him face with a gardening book. He looks nervous.
Latimer: I've been trying to catch his eye but he's far too engrossed in that gardening book.
Niles: Well, that's actually my father, Martin. Dad? [no response] Don't mind him, he's painfully shy.
Latimer: Oh, I know just how he feels. I'm a bit of a shrinking violet myself. [calls loudly] Martin!
She walks off to him as Roz comes to meet Niles at the same time Frasier does.
Roz: Do you see that obnoxious old lecher?
Niles: Well, you're going to have to be a lot more specific.
Roz: The one in the blue jacket, I'm this close to slapping him.
Niles: Wait, wait, wait, that is Mr. Hawkins. He is the vice- president of the tenants' board.
Roz: Well, I don't care who he is, he just pinched me.
Frasier: Roz, please, the man is eighty and arthritic. How hard can he pinch?
Roz demonstrates by pinching him.
Frasier: Ow!
Niles: It's not working. People aren't talking, they're not mixing....
Frasier: Niles! Stop it, stop it. The party's just starting, everything's going to be just fine.
Roz tries to pinch him again.
Frasier: Don't you touch me! Frasier enters the kitchen where Daphne is pottering.
Frasier: Daphne, how are those other... He trails off. On the table is Baby, upside down and apparently dead.
Frasier: Baby? Daphne turns round and notices the bird.
Frasier: Oh, dear God! [feels it] This bird is dead. How did this happen?
Daphne: She must have eaten some of the hors d'oeuvres.
Frasier: You mean the ones I've just served to Niles's guests?
Niles: [entering talking to someone outside] You are very welcome!
Frasier quickly covers the bird with a cloth before Niles turns around. Niles is smiling. Daphne and Frasier, however, are horrified.
Niles: Frasier, I'm so sorry, I completely overreacted. People really perked up once they saw those appetizers of yours. You know, I think the Niles Crane party curse has finally been laid to rest. [noticing their faces] What?
End Of Act One. Act Two.
POLLY WANT A STOMACH PUMP?
Scene Four - Niles's Apartment. The act starts from where the first act left off. Niles is in the kitchen and reacts from Frasier and Daphne's horrified faces.
Niles: Will somebody please tell me what happened?
Frasier: I'm going to let Daphne tell you.
Frasier takes a sharp exit out of the room.
Niles: What is it?
Daphne: I don't mean to alarm you but there's something wrong with the hors d'oeuvres.
Niles: What? How do you know?
Daphne: A little bird told me.
Daphne reveals the dead bird under the cloth and on Niles's scream she covers it again. Meanwhile, in the room Frasier is quickly taking back the hors d'oeuvres.
Frasier: Sorry, I forgot the garnish. Just dreadfully embarrassed about this... give me that! Thank you very much. It's just chef's prerogative. [quickly takes one out of Roz's hands which is just about to enter her mouth] Roz! For God's sake.
And back in the kitchen...
Niles: Did you see how it happened? Anything?
Daphne: Well, I did hear her last words but... I don't think they'd be of much comfort to you.
Frasier enters with the collected hors d'oeuvres.
Frasier: Oh Niles, I'm so sorry. My God, the mayonnaise must have gone bad, or the cranberry, or the paté. [begins binning them]
Niles: Which one did she eat?
Frasier: I don't know. Daphne, smell her beak! [Daphne reacts.]
Frasier: Alright, Niles, are you all right?
Niles: Yes, I just need a moment.
Carol: [o.s] Oh, Dr. Crane?
Niles: That's long enough.
Niles covers Baby just before Carol Larkin enters with a stain on her jumper.
Carol: Excuse me, I'm afraid I spilt punch on my dress, I need a towel.
Carol reaches to grab the towel covering Baby. Daphne stops her.
Daphne: No. You're much better off using...
She looks at Niles, who hands her a piece of bread. She reacts, but pretends it's what she meant.
Daphne: ...yeah, this bread. It's much more absorbent!
Carol: Really?
Daphne: Yes. That's why they call it nature's sponge.
Carol: Alright. [uses it and laughs] It's working.
Carol exits.
Niles: Alright, what do we do now?
Frasier: Daphne, you get rid of Baby, I'll get rid of this tainted food.
Niles: But we still have a room full of hungry guests with nothing to serve them.
Daphne begins clearing up. She picks up Baby and Daphne's earring drops out of her mouth.
Daphne: Oh God, look at that! She must have swallowed my earring, that's what killed her.
Niles: Oh, that means we don't have to destroy the hors d'oeuvres. Frasier, Frasier, stop! Are there any left?
Frasier brings up the plate with one crab puff on it.
Frasier: Yes, we're in luck. This intrepid little crab puff has survived. Now all I need is a very sharp knife and sixteen toothpicks.
Roz: [o.s.] Niles!
Daphne quickly stuffs Baby into the fridge as Roz enters with a piece of wet bread.
Roz: I'm really getting tired of these people. Some lady just handed me a piece of wet bread. [hands it over]
Niles: Oh, this party is doomed.
Frasier: No, Niles, listen. Don't panic, we've got everything we need to make more hors d'oeuvres. All we need is time, you get out there and stall.
Niles exits into the living room. He crosses to Mrs. Latimer.
Niles: Mrs. Latimer, can I get you some punch?
Latimer: Yes, your father went to get me some... but that was quite a while ago.
Niles: Allow me.
Latimer: By the way, where is that adorable bird of yours?
Niles: Um, she's resting. Travel really takes it out of her.
Latimer: You didn't take her with you to Africa, surely?
Niles: Well, she has family there.
Mrs. Latimer wanders off with the punch as Niles meets Mr. Probst.
Niles: Mr. Probst, having a good time?
Probst: Look here, Crane, if you're not going to feed us we might as well take the vote right now.
Niles: No, no, no, please.
Probst: I mean, you bring the hors d'oeuvres, you take the hors d'oeuvres away... what kind of a game is this you're playing with us?
Niles: Well I'm not, I'm not... [loudly] Oh, what a good idea! Why don't we all play a game? Anyone have any suggestions?
Carol: What about Murder? We played it at Irene Warner's party. It was a hoot.
Woman: How do we play?
Niles: Well here, [gets out pens and paper] someone tear off slips of paper and on one of them write the word "Murderer." And then we'll pass them out, and then everyone hide. We'll turn out the lights, then the murderer kills someone and they lay down on the floor, then we turn on the lights and the detective solves the crime.
Frasier: [who entered during the instructions] I tell you what, I'll volunteer to play the detective for the first round. Let the mayhem begin!
Latimer: Oh, Martin, there you are! Come, hide with me, I know a little nook where no one will find us. [goes upstairs]
Martin: This game's a lot scarier than I thought! [exits in other direction]
Frasier: Alright? Turn out the lights, everyone hide.
The lights are turned off, however we can still see. Everyone hides, except for Mr. Probst, who is looking at his paper. Roz is standing by. Niles and Frasier exit to the kitchen.
Probst: Ah, can't see.
Roz: Oh, can I help you, sir?
Probst: I don't have my glasses, can you tell me what it says on this thing?
Roz: It says "Murderer."
Probst: Good. [holds a pretend gun to her head] Then you're dead.
Roz: [lays down; sarcastically] This party just gets better and better.
Meanwhile in the kitchen Daphne is preparing the food with Niles.
Frasier: How soon?
Daphne: I'm going as fast as I can. The first batch should be ready in five minutes.
Frasier: Alright, five minutes it is. Ready or not, here I come!
Frasier enters the room. Roz and Mr. Probst are laying on the floor. Everyone comes from their hiding place.
Frasier: My goodness, the foul fiend has struck already. Turn the lights on. [they come up] Good heavens, he's struck twice!
Roz: Frasier...
Frasier: Uh-uh, once dead you cannot move or speak, take your cue from Mr. Probst. Alright, everyone. [in a detective-like voice] Did any of you see anything suspicious? Any odd behavior?
Alfred: Why don't you just guess, so we can get this thing over with.
Frasier: Not yet, this is very intriguing. I think I'm going to have to think about it for... five minutes or so.
Carol: Maybe this game was a bad idea.
Frasier: No, the fun's just started. I tell you what, let's turn off the lights again and we'll let our craven villain ply his dark trade once more.
Alfred: Are you quite sure those two didn't die of starvation?
Frasier: Very funny! Would you just turn out the lights, please?
The lights are turned off.
Frasier: Alright everyone, hide! They all go back to their places.
Roz: Frasier, I have a question.
Frasier: No, Roz, no talking.
Roz: Just tell me, can the murderer commit suicide?
Frasier: Well no, Roz, that wouldn't make much sense, would it?
Roz: That's what I thought, but Mr. Probst is the one who murdered me.
Frasier: Well, was he? Well then, Mr. Probst, I don't think someone's playing by the rules, is he? You see, this way no-one else can get murdered, can they? [silence] Mr. Probst?
Frasier begins to feel his pulse. Roz is worried and gets up.
Roz: What is it? What are you doing?
Frasier: Nothing, Roz, nothing.
Roz: Are you taking his pulse?
Frasier: I'm trying to, I just can't find one.
Roz: Oh my God! When he fell down, I thought it was part of the game. It didn't even look real.
Then Niles enters, again thinking that the party curse is now extinct.
Niles: Okay, it's time to wind the game up. The appetizers are ready, and may I say they are delicious. I think this party is finally back on track!
Frasier: Niles! I'm afraid Mr. Probst has passed on.
Long pause.
Niles: What?
Frasier: Yes, you see, I think that heart condition of his finally caught up with him.
Niles: Dead? No, no, no, he's sleeping. Old people love to nap. [begins prodding him] Mr. Probst, time to wake up. Mr. Probst...
Frasier: Niles, Niles, he's gone.
Niles: Oh my God, how could this happen?
Roz: Shouldn't we notify someone?
Niles: No, he was a widower, he had no children, he lived alone in this building for twenty-five years. This is so awful. Mr. Probst is right, I am a menace.
Frasier: No, Niles, this is not your fault.
Niles: But it happened at my party, it's all they will remember. I might as well pack my bags.
Frasier: No, I tell you what. There's no need for that. I think we can still get him out of here without anybody noticing.
Niles: How?
Frasier: You go find Dad. Tell him to call one of his friends at the police department. One of his good friends, right? I'll handle the rest.
Niles: All right.
Niles exits down the hallway.
Roz: What's the rest?
Frasier: I'm going to use the game to distract everybody. I will take everyone into the kitchen for questioning, thus drawing their attention from the bodies.
Roz: What do you mean, "bodies"?
Frasier: Roz!
Roz: No.
Frasier: Get down.
She objects and he tries to force her.
Roz: No, please no.
Frasier: All right, how about this? I will pay the airfare for that vacation of yours next month.
Roz: [thinks, then] No way, it's just too creepy. First class?
Frasier: Business.
Roz: Done.
Frasier: All right, get down there.
Roz lays down, shuddering as she does so. Niles arrives back.
Niles: Frasier, Frasier, Frasier, I found Dad hiding from Mrs. Latimer. He's called his friend.
Frasier: Great. Niles, start getting everyone in the kitchen.
Niles: Wait, wait, won't they wonder why there hasn't been another murder?
Frasier: Good point.
Roz: [from under Mr. Probst] Could we move this along?!
Frasier: Quiet!
Then Martin enters.
Martin: The wagon's on its way. When it gets here let me deal with it.
Niles: All right, thank you, Dad. I really appreciate this...
Frasier: Dad! Can you do one more favor? You are now the killer. Listen, come on, you've got to murder somebody - preferably in the kitchen!
Martin: Oh, come on! You're not going to make someone lie down on this dirty floor again, are you?
At this moment Mrs. Latimer enters from the kitchen and spots Martin.
Latimer: Oh, there you are, Martin. Have you been hiding from me?
Martin: [with an idea, evil] Hiding? No, you're just the person I've been looking for.
They exit back into the kitchen.
Frasier: All right, turn on the lights, everyone. [whisper] Roz, you okay?
Roz: [sarcastic] Yeah, it's a carnival down here.
Frasier: Everyone. There has been another murder... in the kitchen. I'm ready to solve the crime, if you'll all join me... in the kitchen.
Carol: Why can't you solve it right here?
Frasier: Well I could, you see, but that wouldn't be proper. You see... [thinks, then] the hors d'oeuvres are in there. Come along, people. We've got food. Don't touch the crime scene please, thank you very much.
Everyone enters the kitchen.
Roz: Hurry, his fingers are getting stiff!
Frasier enters the kitchen where everyone is standing. Mrs. Latimer is laying "dead" on the table.
Frasier: Before I determine the identity of the killer, there are a few questions I'd like to ask each of you.
The doorbell sounds.
Carol: I'll get it.
Frasier: No. No-one leaves until I've solved the crime. Except you, Dad.
Frasier lets Martin out.
Frasier: All right, then. I think I shall begin by drawing a diagram of where each of you was standing when the first murder occurred.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Scene Five - Niles's Apartment. Time has lapsed as Frasier is just about finishing the diagram of everyone. The guests are now really bored standing around in the kitchen. Mrs. Latimer is still laying "dead" on the table.
Frasier: So we have established Miss Finn was talking with Mr. Larkin in the upstairs hall at 8:14. And he muttered something.
Frasier quickly takes a look out of the door into the living room. We see that the body bag is just being sealed up.
Carol: Why do you keep looking out there?
Frasier: I'll ask the questions around here, Mrs. Larkin.
Alfred: They already told you. Your father killed Mrs. Latimer. Mrs. Hawkins saw him.
Frasier: Mrs. Hawkins thought she saw him!
Latimer: [lifts her head] No, Martin did kill me. He's got a lot to learn about playing gently.
Frasier: Mrs. Latimer, we have already broken the "no-eating while dead" rule but we'll stand fast on the "quiet" one. [stuffs a crab puff in her mouth] Now...
Carol: I'm bored and I'm going home.
Frasier: No, wait.
Everyone exits. Frasier expects the worse and defends his brother.
Frasier: You can't blame Niles for this because...
Frasier exits and sees the dead body has gone. Martin, Niles, Roz and Daphne are standing with a "fake" smile on their faces.
Frasier: [covering] My father is the killer! Yes, the case is closed. Shall we have another round?
People disagree.
Alfred: Where's Probst?
Roz: He just left. He wasn't feeling well.
Niles: Yes, I hope he's alright, poor man.
Alfred: Well, who cares? I never liked the old coot anyway.
Niles: You didn't?
Alfred: I was planning on voting for you tonight just to annoy him.
Carol: Me, too!
Niles: Well, why don't we vote right now?
Alfred: Consider it done. [shakes Niles's hand] You're in, Crane. Welcome back. Carol, let's get out of here.
Everybody leaves and Niles wishes them goodbye. Meanwhile, Roz and Frasier are round the punch bowl.
Roz: Doesn't he have anything stiffer than punch to drink? I don't like looking at dead bodies, much less touching them.
Frasier: I think he's got a bottle of vodka in the freezer, Roz.
Roz: Oh, great.
RESET TO: Kitchen
Roz enters the kitchen. She opens the fridge door and gets out the bottle of vodka. But at first she doesn't notice Baby stuffed onto a shelf in the door compartment, stiff and upside down...
RESET TO: Living Room Outside, Niles says goodbye to the last guests.
Niles: Thank you so much for this second chance. I can assure you, from now on this will be the quietest apartment in the Montana.
Roz: [o.s.] OH, MY GOD!
Niles: Goodnight.
Niles shuts the door and then looks around at Frasier and Daphne, who have obviously had enough.
End of Act Two.
[SCENE_BREAK]
Niles's Apartment - Niles is reading on his fainting couch. He looks around the room, stands up and eyes the antique couch that Dr. MacLowery tipped over in his dance routine. Niles goes to the other side of the room, takes a run-up and does the trick, admiring his work afterwards. Guest Appearances Guest Starring ROSEMARY MURPHY as Carol Larkin JACK SYDOW as Alfred Larkin RANDY DONEY as Dr. MacLowery MIMI HINES as Mrs. Latimer BILL MOREY as Mr. Probst NINA MANN as Miss Finn FIONA HALE as Mrs. Hawkins JACK DONNER as Mr. Hawkins Synopsis {kathy churay}
ACT ONE
SCENE ONE - FRASIER'S APARTMENT - EVENING
Niles is irritated and disgruntled as he and Frasier return from dinner. As they recount their evening to Martin we learn that at the restaurant they were first served an inferior Pouilly Fuisse, then seated next to Donny and Daphne who were being very affectionate. Frasier switched chairs with Niles so he wouldn't have to watch, only be confronted a few minutes later with the spectacle of Maris coyly flirting with her new boyfriend over dinner to taunt Niles.
Niles is depressed about the whole evening and just wants to go home to the Montana. Martin asks whether he can't afford to go back now, and Niles answers that he can except that Frasier persuaded him to sublet the apartment to a starchy dignified tenant who still has two months remaining on his lease.
His dejection is complete when Daphne comes in, beaming. Apparently while Niles had hesitated to send back the inferior wine at dinner, Donny had not only sent back the same wine but also made a scene and got the restaurant to waive the bill for their entire meal. Daphne goes off to her room saying how proud she is of Donny, and Niles moans that he just wants to go home. Frasier agrees to call the tenant at the Montana and try to break the lease.
SCENE TWO - Hallway Outside Niles's Apartment
Niles and Frasier are about to ring the doorbell when they meet Mrs. Latimer, a neighbor who observes that Niles is back from his tour. Niles replies that his sublet was able to move out early, and after she leaves Frasier inquires about the tour. Niles tells him that he had informed his neighbors that he was going on an African lecture tour -- wouldn't have done to let them know the real reason he was moving out, and he hadn't wanted them to be able to contact him. They ring the doorbell and when there is no response they let themselves in with Niles's key.
Niles is thrilled to be home after four months. "I just want to close my eyes and savor the serenity!" But the serenity is short- lived as the sound of loud tap dancing echoes from upstairs. A figure dances into view on the parquet floor of the stair landing, then slides down the bannister to the living room to continue his dance routine. It's Dr. McLowrey, a gray-haired man wearing a Walkman and doing an enthusiastic tap routine all over Niles's parquet-covered living room floor. Frasier asks when McLowrey had taken up tap dancing, and the doctor replies that he adopted it years ago to keep from going crazy. Too late, Niles observes.
The last straw for Niles is when McLowrey leaps onto one of Niles's antique chairs and tips it over in a dance routine reminiscent of both Fred Astaire and Niles's fencing scene in "An Affair To Forget" when he tips over the couch. Niles is panicked at the potential damage to his apartment, and Frasier tries to remind the doctor about the neighbors. McLowrey replies that the neighbors are sourpusses, always complaining, and taps merrily off to the kitchen.
Just then the doorbell rings and Niles greets three members of the
building's tenants' board: an older couple, the Larkins, and a sour-looking grayhaired man named Mr. Probst. Probst informs Niles that they abhor noise in the building and the board is leaning toward rescinding his lease. Niles tries to protest but Probst tells him that he has a heart problem and the other tenants need quiet. He cautions Niles that there will be a board meeting the following evening, and if he were Niles, he wouldn't plan on unpacking. Niles is in shock as they leave.
SCENE THREE - Niles' Apartment - The Following Evening
There is a very subdued party in progress as Niles hosts the 10 or so members of the tenants' board, all of whom are wealthy-looking senior citizens. Daphne and Frasier are helping Niles at the punchbowl as Daphne tells Frasier he was nice to help his brother by organizing the party. Niles replies that it was the least Frasier could do after subletting the apartment to "Bojangles the Loon".
The doorbell rings and Daphne admits Roz and Martin. They go over to the punch bowl and Roz tells Niles how surprised she was to get his last-minute invitation. He tells her the caterer cancelled and orders her to open the wine, cut up some limes and hang up the coats. Roz is miffed but Frasier enlists her help and she agrees if Frasier will pay for the babysitter. Frasier agrees and Roz goes off to hang up her coat.
Martin cynically inquires what his role will be -- dishwasher? Frasier tells him that there are several unattached women his age who "might just take a shine to an old debonair dog like yourself."
Martin: "I'm just a piece of meat to you guys!" Just then Daphne returns to the punchbowl from her rounds of serving drinks. She starts to help Frasier but is distracted when her earring slips off and slides down her blouse. She retrieves it and remarks that she was grateful it didn't end up in the punchbowl.
Meanwhile Niles is making lame jokes with the party guests and failing miserably. He heads for the kitchen in desperation.
As he enters Frasier is shooing Baby away from the kitchen table where she is sampling the canapes. Niles returns her to her perch as she pelts him with slang taught to her by Niles's neighbors from the Shangri La. To her "Stuff it, Niles!" he replies, "Oh, don't tempt me." And back to the living room he goes with Frasier to deliver the food.
One of the female guests collars Niles to inquire who Martin might be. Niles tells her and she goes off in hot pursuit. Roz complains that one of the elderly men pinched her. When Frasier doubts how hard an arthritic old man can pinch, she demonstrates on his chest. Niles goes into a panic because the guests are not mingling or having a good time, and Frasier reassures him, fleeing into the kitchen for more food.
Frasier enters the kitchen to find Daphne with her back turned and Baby lying dead on the kitchen table in the middle of a tray of canapes. Frasier gasps and asks how it happened. A stunned Daphne replies that Baby must have eaten some of the hors d'ouvres [I can never spell that and I'm not looking it up now.] Niles comes in for more appetizers and Frasier throws a towel over Baby to keep Niles from seeing her.
ACT TWO
POLLY WANT A STOMACH PUMP?
SCENE ONE - Niles's Kitchen - A Moment Later
Niles wants to know what has happened, and Frasier flees to the living room to collect the appetizers and leaves Daphne to deliver the bad news.
Frasier races around the living room collecting food trays and grabbing appetizers out of the guests' hands. He returns to the kitchen.
Niles is giving Baby CPR, but it's too late. He's shocked and sad but not really heartbroken as Frasier returns with the food and they begin trying to guess which appetizer has gone bad. Was it the pate? The mayonnaise? Meanwhile Frasier begins dumping canapes into the garbage.
A guest enters the kitchen and complains that she needs something to blot the wine she's spilled on her dress. She tries to take the towel that covers Baby, but Daphne hands her a piece of bread instead and she leaves, blotting her dress.
As Daphne picks up Baby there is a small clattering sound, and Daphne discovers her loose earring which has fallen out of Baby's mouth. Apparently that's what has killed her. They are relieved to know the food hasn't gone bad and they try to stop Frasier from dumping all the food into the garbage, but it's too late. Now Daphne will have to re-make all the food.
Roz bursts into the kitchen and Daphne hastily stuffs Baby into the freezer and closes the door. Roz complains about the guests and Niles moans that his party is doomed, but Frasier won't let him give up. He shoves Niles back into the living room to stall the guests while he and Daphne make more food.
As Niles returns to the living room Mr. Probst comes up to Niles complaining about the lack of food. "What kind of game are you playing here?" As he begins to deny playing games Niles gets inspired and declares that they should all play a game. One guest suggests a game of "Murder". All the guests will get slips of paper, one of which reads "Murderer". While the other guests hide he will pick one victim to kill. Frasier comes in and volunteers to be the detective who solves the crime.
Frasier turns out the lights and the guests dutifully hide. Mr. Probst can't read his slip of paper, and Roz helps him to read the word "Murderer" on his piece of paper. Probst grumpily informs Roz that she's dead, and she lies down on the floor complaining about the game.
When Frasier turns the lights on he finds Roz lying next to Mr. Probst, who is face down on the floor with his arm over Roz. Roz protests but Frasier informs her the murder victim can't talk, and so she subsides. The guests come out of hiding and Frasier tries to stall them as they complain about the boring game and the lack of food. He suggests turning off the lights again so the murderer can strike again, and off go the lights as the guests return to their hiding places.
Roz flags down Frasier from her place on the floor, asking if the murderer can commit suicide. It turns out that Mr. Probst is not feigning unconsciousness but has actually died while playing the game. Roz is appalled to think that she had been lying next to a dead man. Niles comes in from the kitchen to receive the news and can't believe it. He is in despair over his chances at staying at the Montana now, but as usual Frasier has a plan. Roz and Frasier nearly panic, but Frasier suggests they simply bring the other guests out to the kitchen and have Martin call his friends at the police station to remove the body quickly. Meanwhile, Roz must lie down next to Probst and continue to play the part of murder victim till the police come. Roz at first refuses till Frasier bribes her with airfare to her vacation destination the followng month.
Martin comes in after having made his phone call and agrees to play the murderer. He goes off to the kitchen with one of the guests who has been annoying him. Frasier turns on the lights and brings out the other guests, dragging them off to the kitchen to expound on the identity of the murderer. He keeps it up in spite of the guests' complaints until he sees that the police have taken away the body.
Finally the guests are bored and rebel, exiting back to the living room where they remark on Mr. Probst's absence. Niles tells them Probst didn't feel well and went home. One of the other guests remarks that he had been planning to vote in favor of Niles just to annoy Probst, and the others agree. They take a quick vote, welcome Niles back to the Montana, and beat a hasty retreat out the front door to escape the ghastly party.
Roz complains about the lack of hard liquor, and Frasier tells her Niles keeps a bottle of vodka in the freezer. Niles is assuring his departing guests that there will be no further noise from his apartment when Roz's bloodcurdling scream from the kitchen announces that she has located Baby's final resting place in the freezer door.
[SCENE_BREAK]
- Niles's Apartment
Niles is contentedly reading in his dressing gown in the living room. He gets up to go to bed and gazes happily around his apartment. As he reaches the front door he seems to make up his mind. He runs across the living room and leaps up on the antique chair, expertly tipping it over as McLowrey had done in his dance routine. He savors the moment, then dances off up the stairs to bed.
|
Plan: A: a miserable meal; Q: What kind of meal did Niles have with Frasier? A: their new boyfriends; Q: Who were Daphne and Maris on dates with? A: Montana; Q: What is the name of the building Niles lives in? A: Dr. MacLowery; Q: Who is Niles' sub-tenant? A: an avid tap dancer; Q: What is Dr. MacLowery? A: tenants; Q: What is the board of the Montana? A: his lease; Q: What is the board considering terminating? A: a drinks gathering; Q: What do Niles and Frasier organize for the next meeting? A: their minds; Q: What do Niles and Frasier want the board to change? A: Roz; Q: Who is the stand-in for the caterers? A: the caterers; Q: Who cancelled? Summary: Niles returns from a miserable meal with Frasier; both Daphne and Maris were seated at the tables next to them in romantic dates with their new boyfriends. He has not moved back into the Montana, as his apartment is currently occupied by a sub-tenant, Dr. MacLowery. MacLowery is an avid tap dancer , and the noise from his routines have infuriated the other residents of the building. As a result, representatives from the building's board of tenants arrive to tell Niles that the board is seriously considering terminating his lease . In order to get the board back on his side, Niles and Frasier organize a drinks gathering for the next meeting in order to persuade them to change their minds, with Roz present to stand-in for the caterers, who cancelled.
|
[PREVIOUSLY_ON]
Gary: Well, hello, Raylan! Winona.
Raylan: Gary.
Gary: Hey, uh, I just want to let you know I'm planning to show the house again tonight.
Winona: Well, that's fine, but, you know, you could have told me that over the phone.
Gary: I love you. And I do want you back... simple as that.
Winona: All right. So what is it?
Gary: We need to get a divorce.
Marcus: You think he knows?
Kyle: [ Laughs ] Don't worry about Boyd.
Marcus: Kyle, what if he bails on us?
Kyle: When he goes down in the mine, we'll just blow him up.
Marcus: Hands up, fool! This is a robbery!
Kyle: Boyd. Put those explosives in the brown bag.
[ Cellphone rings ]
[ Both laugh ]
You ready?
Marcus: Hey, so long, there, Boyd!
Boyd: I put a little cash on the emulex, a little emulex on the cash, and I made sure that the blasting cap went in their packet and not mine.
Ava: [ Chuckling ] I don't suppose any of that money survived the blast.
Boyd: There should be at least $15,000 to $20,000 in there. There's one more favor that I must ask of you. Ava, you can help me, or you can refuse. Either way, I will understand.
[ Sirens wailing ]
But I'm gonna need to know your answer right now. ATF inquiry 2359826. Interview with Boyd Crowder. All right, and it was during that conversation that Kyle made his first threats against yourself and Mrs. Crowder?
Boyd: Miss Crowder. Against yourself and miss Crowder?
Boyd: I believe we've already waded through these waters. Tell us again.
Boyd: They showed up at the house, said they were gonna rob the mine, said they needed a powderman. Said if I didn't go along, they'd put me and Ava in the ground. So you never actually heard Kyle make these threats.
Ava: Like I said, I was already gone to work. Meaning Boyd told you what Kyle said. Just like Boyd told you that morning was the first time he heard about the plan to rob the mine. And it's not possible that he lied.
Boyd: Why would I lie? Because if you can prove you were coerced, couldn't call the police out of fear for your life, then you're not criminally responsible. I think we're all growing tired of this babe-in-the-woods act. So I want you to tell us right now where the rest of the money is.
Ava: I thought it burnt up. Some of it burned up. Miss Crowder, do you realize that we could charge you with felony murder?
Ava: "Felony murder"? Is that like "hot lava" or "frozen ice"? No, ma'am, felony murder means if you knew the crime was gonna be committed, even if you didn't know anyone was gonna die, you're just as guilty as if you pulled the trigger. After everything your brother put her through, you really gonna let her spend the rest of her life in prison for you? You know, I was just wondering... Did she screw all your relatives or just you two?
Boyd: Now, sir, I know you have an investigation to conduct, but if you disrespect Ava one more time, I'm gonna come across this table. Chief, it seems clear to me that Mr. Crowder just threatened a federal officer. And I would think that that is reason enough for you to take him into custody.
Art: Much as I might like to personally throw Mr. Crowder's ass in a holding cell, I think a threat against a federal officer would be a little more specific, something more along the lines of "if you disrespect miss Crowder again, I'll beat the ever-loving sh1t out of you."
Boyd: You gonna charge me?
Raylan: [ Sighs ]
Ava: Oh, I have to get my purse.
Boyd: Okay. Raylan.
Raylan: Boyd. I am impressed. How is possible you're not in cuffs?
Boyd: [sighs ] When someone is threatning a woman that you care deeply for there's no any lengths that you will go to keep that woman safe. Now, I seem to recall you being in that situation a time or two yourself. In fact, I seem to recall you being in the same situation with the same woman. Ain't that something?
[ Siren wails ]
[ Thunder rumbling ]
Winona: Just tell me what you did, Gary.
Gary: I am trying to tell you what I did, if you would just give me five minutes to listen to me!
Winona: Don't try to tell me what you did. Just tell me what you did!
I'm trying to find a legitimate way for us to get out of this hole that we are in! Where are you going?
Winona: I'm leaving!
Gary: Oh, you just wait five minutes and let me talk to you instead of getting mad all the time?!
Winona: Then talk to me, Gary!
Gary: I am trying to tell you what I did, all right?!
Winona: You put up our house as collateral for a goddamn horse?!
Gary: It is a champion Arabian, Winona! You're not listening to a damn thing I've said!
Winona: After everything that has happened... everything, Gary... after everything that has happened, you did that, and you didn't talk to me about it?
Gary: Well, where do I find you, Winona? Where do I find you, huh?!
Winona: Oh, that's enough.
Gary: What? Oh, you're gonna walk out now?
Winona: I'm leaving.
Gary: You haven't even looked at this, all right? I worked all... Winona!
[ Grunts ]
♪ On this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I'm fighting for my soul ♪ ♪ God get at your boy ♪ ♪ you try to bogard ♪ ♪ fall back, I go hard ♪ ♪ on this lonely road ♪ ♪ trying to make it home ♪ ♪ doing it by my lonesome ♪ ♪ pissed off, who wants some? ♪ ♪ I see them long, hard times to come ♪
Winona: I missed you last night.
Raylan: Last night, I was working late.
Winona: You should have called. I was up half the night staring at the ceiling.
Raylan: Thinking about what?
Winona: You think all I'm doing when I'm lying in bed alone is thinking about you?
Raylan: Not necessarily.
Winona: There was a good 5 or 6 minutes when I didn't think about you once.
[ Elevator dings ]
I have plenty of other things on my mind.
Raylan: Like what?
Winona: Oh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that my soon-to-be second ex-husband just remortgaged our last asset to buy a horse. It's not funny.
Raylan: It's a little bit funny. I'm sorry. Look, I wish there was something I could do.
Winona: Well, you could tell me everything's gonna be okay. I said, you could tell me everything's gonna be okay.
Raylan: I don't have a key to that.
Winona: What?
Raylan: Only Weaver's got a key to the cage.
Winona: Okay, so when I asked you to let me into evidence, you don't think maybe that was a good time to tell me you didn't have a key to that?
Raylan: Well, I thought you just meant the evidence room, not the cage. Since when do files have to be put in the cage?
Winona: They're my transcripts from the coal Flyrock case. Judge Reardon's worried 'cause of all the coverage and tempers are all...
Raylan: So he's got you putting them in a lock box, guarded by an armed man? Seem excessive.
Winona: Oh, you think judge Reardon's excessive?
Raylan: [ Chuckles ]
Winona: [ Chuckles ]
Raylan: So... we wait. Sure Weaver will be here any minute.
Winona: You don't have to go to work?
Raylan: [ Sighs ] It's a circus up there. Happy to avoid it.
Winona: You remember that night Gary was waiting for you outside your motel?
Raylan: Did me touching you just remind you of Gary?
Winona: [ Chuckling ] No. It reminded me of that night... when you told me about the pregnant fugitive.
Raylan: Oh.
Winona: Just, it got me wondering if maybe... I don't know... maybe we had changed. Like maybe it doesn't have to end the way it did the first time.
Raylan: Two rocking chairs on the porch.
Winona: Bunch of little Raylans running around with toy guns.
Raylan: Aren't you the one who said it wouldn't be fair to have a kid as long as every morning I walked out the door you felt like I might never walk back in?
Winona: What if there wasn't that chance?
Raylan: Meaning what?
Winona: Meaning what if when you walk through the door, you weren't walking through the door to come here? And once again, we have silence. All right, well, I guess things haven't changed so much after all, have they?
Raylan: What do you want me to say?
Winona: I don't know. Don't you ever wonder?
Raylan: Sure. Yeah. I wonder.
Winona: But?
[ Elevator dings ]
Raylan: That'll be Weaver.
Charlie, Ms. Hawkins needs to get in the cage. Okay. Main lock boxes are all full up, but... Now if that's okay, we got some more ones back here that don't get used anymore. That's Weaver. Uh-huh. Yeah. ATF. I know. All right. Oh. Uh, y-you mind, uh, taking it from here? These are all marked. I got to get to this. Reception down here is for sh1t. All right. I'll just yell if I need you. All right. I'll come a-shooting.
Winona: Okay. Next. Next in line. Next. That's you, honey.
[ Machine-gun fire ]
Back away from the counter! Anybody tries to trip the silents gets a bullet for himself and one for the guy next to him. Everyone down! Easy, son. You don't want to die for somebody else's money. Get your ass away from that phone! Everybody move around front. Everybody on the floor! Do it! Now! All right. Wallets and jewelry, people. Walk. Walk. Yeah. There you go. Stay down! Get your ass away from that phone! Stay down! Get the other end. Hands face-down in front of you, away from your pockets! Nice. Nice. Ooh! Well, ain't you a piece. Flip over, darlin'. Let's see what you got. Unh, unh, unh, unh, unh, unh.
[ Breathing heavily ]
What else you got worth taking, huh?
[ Timer dinging ]
Open your hand. Open it. Open your hand. Other one. I won't ask again. I'll just break your fingers. Huh. Let's go. Yeah. Thatagirl.
[ Grunts ]
Come on, man, let's go!
[ Grunts ]
Winona: Aah!
Come on, man! Aah! Let's go, fellas. Time to go.
Raylan: I don't get it. All the times I ran you through how to act. I told you it was instinct. What to do if a guy breaks in to your home, what to do if a guy grabs you on the street. What to do... Looks like there's a lot of drama going on in there. If a guy with a gun wants your sh1t, you give it to him double quick you don't look him in the eye. Raylan I'm fine. Art looks spun up though, did he see something on the video? Apparently he recognized one of them. Which one? Uh, oh, Frank Reasoner. The old guy with the oxygen tank. Turns out 30 years ago he was on the 10 most wanted list. For what, robbin' banks? Apparently, a lot of them. Got a place in Miami, one in Bahamas used to fly himself back and forth in his own king air. What's he been doin' for the past 30 years? Well, he's been doin' 30 years. Really? Mmhmm. Got a compassionate parole back in june, emphysema. Wasn't supposed to make it 6 months. Oh, I thought that oxygen tank was just for show. Stopped checking in with his PO officer a month ago so... he's our fugitive. What about the other two? Haven't ID'd them yet. The one who kicked me in the face... Mmhmm... If you get the chance shoot him in the nuts.
Raylan: I ought to hear this. Mrs. Reasoner, I hope you're not trying to deny that your husband is the man in that video. No, I-I'm not. I-I... I mean, it looks like him. It's just... I don't see how that's possible. No? You don't see how it's possible a guy could get out of prison, go back to committing the same crime he went away for? Frank was a model inmate. He preached at the prison church. Mrs. Reasoner, yeah, we read the parole report.
Art: [ Sighs ] How's he been since his release? What's he been like? We've been living a simple life. Frank's a deacon at Calvary Baptist. When he's not there, he spends most of his time on a computer. His condition doesn't let him do much physically. He plays video games.
[ Chuckles ]
He uses the interweb to look up news about his old friends. He even taught himself how to use the video chat so we could talk with the grandkids.
Raylan: Mrs. Reasoner, do you recognize either of the other two men in the video? I don't think so. Maybe they forced him to join them. You know, like in that movie.
Raylan: Maybe. Although the man in the video looks like a willing participant.
Art: Jenny, does Frank have any big bills lately that you know about, any big expenditures or maybe medical bills? No. What if something happened to... I don't know... his mind, you know, his brain because of oxygen? You know, because of the emphysema. Look at that sh1t. Oh... Look at that. Frank you see this? You kiddin'? You're not here. Smell that, smell that. Now I had in Versailles We're not going to Versailles What're you talking about? You always said pull another job doubles your money, keeps the law scrambling. I also said only shoot when you have no other choice. I heared you tell that old boy move and he'd get shot... well he moved. And what about that girl that you stroked and then drop kicked? Frank, she was holding out on us she was lucky I didn't shoot her in the face. Bobby, I could never pull a job with a man I can't trust to hold himself. Frank, just... just hold on a sec. You know what? You don't have to beg him for sh1t, ok? You and I will do the Versailles job on our own. Right? Who knows? It might even be a blessing not having this old lunger along.
[ Chuckles ]
Ain't that right?
[ Gasps ]
Frank. Frank. Frank. Frank. What are you doing? What the hell are you doing, Frank? I got you figured. You did most of your growing up in those juvie-detention gladiator schools. I guess Bobby didn't tell you I was the bench-press champion at Lewisburg. The next time you make me raise my voice, I'm gonna take this oxygen tank, and I'm gonna beat your ass to death with it. Frank!
[SCENE_BREAK]
Winona: Yep. That's him. Who is he?
Rachel: Bobby Green... carjacker. Did a few years at Lewisburg when Reasoner was there.
Winona: Still nothing on the guy who stomped on my face?
Rachel: We figure he's a friend of Green's.
Winona: Oh. Hi.
Tim: Howdy.
Winona: What's that?
Rachel: Serial numbers from the bills they took out of the cash drawer. We red-flag them, then if they spend them anywhere that uses the database, we do what we do.
Tim: Oh, I know. Big brother, right?
Winona: [ Chuckles ] You don't really expect to catch them that way.
Rachel: No. Lag time's too long. Most places don't scan more than once a day. By the time we get a hit, the perp's usually long-gone.
Winona: So it's really just red tape for the bank, then.
Tim: Actually, it's mostly for the secret service. You ever hear of superdollars?
Winona: Unh-unh.
Tim: It's counterfeit hundreds from North Korea. Whole Treasury Department's obsessed. You believe they make us scan every bill that goes into evidence?
Winona: Huh.
Tim: Pain in the ass.
Rachel: Deputy Gutterson, I hope you're not suggesting that protecting the integrity of our national currency is a waste of your valuable time.
Tim: No, ma'am, nothing I'd rather be doing.
Rachel: Hmm.
Winona: I think I have a problem. Ok, now... I want you to tell me again. I just... Not yet! Ok, now. I just wanted to make sure it was real. Wanted to make sure it was real. Yeah, otherwise it's not worth the headache and all the paperwork, and Besides, I was ba... I was gonna put it back, and then Ok, wait, let me just make sure I got this you took one bill, and you wanted to make sure it was real and when you're standing in line at the bank you come to your senses So you start to leave but... Frank Reasoner and his boys take it off you? I don't need you to tell me I did a stupid thing Raylan, I know I did a stupid thing What I need you to tell me is how big of a deal it's gonna be when you catch these guys and run those bills through the Federal Reserve database, and one of them pops, because it's supposed to be in the evidence cage. Hmm, it's one bill. It's a clerical error, Worst-case scenario, they come to look for it.
Winona: "They"? Is "they" the secret service? 'Cause I heard Tim mention something about that.
Raylan: Yeah.
Tim: Raylan, is that you?
Raylan: Yeah!
Tim: Chief wants you.
Raylan: Right now?
Tim: Reasoner's trying to get ahold of his wife.
Raylan: Okay. Tell him I'm coming.
Winona: Do you really think there's a chance they'll just ignore it, though?
Raylan: I got to go.
Tim: This guy texts his wife, tell her he wants to video-chat. When he went away, no one had heard of a computer you could fit in your living room.
Raylan: Art?
Art: Where are we, Chris? 30 seconds.
Raylan: Art, I need a word.
Art: As you can see, Raylan, we're kind of busy at the moment.
Raylan: If we get a line on these guys, can I be the first through the door?
Art: Why? 'Cause of that whack that punk gave your ex-wife?
Raylan: Yeah.
Art: [ Chuckles ]
[ Sighs ]
For God's sakes, Raylan.
Raylan: Huh?
Art: I'm not gonna let you be on the entry team. But I'll let you be there when it goes down. And then maybe you can make sure the guy whacks his head when you put him in the car. Happy?
Raylan: Yeah. Ready, chief.
Art: All right, let's go, Mrs. Reasoner. Right here.
[ Ringing ]
Honey? I'm here, Jenny. Where are you? I'm at the break room at work. Frank, please come home. That's what I'm trying to do. Well, I don't understand why you're doing it this way. Listen, I need to talk to whoever's in charge. I imagine we're talking at marshals 'cause I'm violating my compassionate parole. But maybe it's the FBI. Which... anyway, whichever one of you's in charge, I need you to get on the line.
Art: Chief deputy Art Mullen, Mr. Reasoner. It's a pleasure to meet you. I love you, Jen. But now I need you to go outside so I can have a word with the chief.
Art: Right this way, Mrs. Reasoner. Is she gone?
Art: Just you and me. 30 guys in the next room?
Art: [ Chuckles ] Mr. Reasoner, let's talk about how we can end this business without anybody else getting hurt. First of all, you saw the video. You saw I never intended for anyone to be hurt.
Art: Well, we saw that it was the kid that stomped the woman and that did the shooting. But you're the one who brought him along. Wasn't my first choice. I can promise you that. So he was a friend of Bobby Green's? You boys work fast.
[ Chuckles ]
Yeah. Bobby don't have the best taste in friends. But he's a good boy. Only way I'm coming in is if you'll promise to go easy on him.
Art: Well, that's a question for the U.S. Attorney, but I'm sure that we can work something out. What about the other one, the friend? Like I said, he's not my friend.
Art: You know, it was me that was chasing you back in the day. I thought maybe collaring you would make my name. Is that a fact?
Art: Mm-hmm. I missed you by about an hourt that flophouse in Memphis. You remember that? The one with the Blessed Virgin wallpaper.
Art: [ Chuckles ] And the plastic grapes. So that was you.
[ Chuckles ]
Well, it looks like the good lord is handing you a second chance.
Art: I'm just waiting for the good lord to tell me where to go. You know, I was planning on getting a good haul and getting it to Jenny on the sly and keep pulling jobs till I went out in a blaze of glory. Kept saying I wasn't gonna let myself die on a ventilator in some hospital room.
Art: Mr. Reasoner... Tates Creek Bridge. Two hours.
Art: We have what we need?
Rachel: We'll have cars on either side of the bridge, plus Tim will be set up.
Art: You got a spot picked out?
Tim: There's a big rise next to the road on the north side, makes kind of a natural bird's nest. Alright. This guy kind of sounded like he might want to get out in a blaze of glory.
Rachel: Suicide by cop? Saving himself from dying in prison?
Art: So be ready for that.
Tim: Always.
Raylan: The tech tell you how long it'd take to trace that video call?
Art: Too long.
Tim: Must be why he used it.
Art: Yep.
Raylan: Something not sitting right with you?
Art: You really think he's gonna be there?
Raylan: No.
Art: No. How long would it take us to get up on Reasoner's computer? I'll get right on it.
[ Sighs ]
Now... [chuckles] Are you sure you don't want to be the one wearing this, you know? Maybe go out with a bang.
[ Chuckles ]
sh1t, could be your ticket to a paradise full of virgins.
[ Chuckles ]
We ready to go? Five by five. Ah!
[ Grunts ]
You know... Frank, Frank, what are you doing? Okay. On second thought, beating your ass to death is a little ambitious health-wise. Are we really gonna do this again, man? Okay. But on the bright side, you get to go out with a bang. Now, give my regards to the virgins.
[ Gasps ]
Oh, God... [ gasps ]
[ Grunts ]
You... I can't decide if I should beat you to death or leave you drowning in the air like a landed fish!
[ Coughs ]
You know what? sh1t. On second thought... No. Come on, man. We've got to go. That armored car gets there before we do, put the money behind the time lock, we're sh1t out of luck.
Art: How's our man-power situation?
Raylan: Down to the felt. FBI's got the whole office in the field. We're down to three.
Art: Including me?
Raylan: Four. Sorry about that.
Art: I'll bet.
Raylan: You get into Reasoner's hard drive? What am I, an asshole?
Raylan: No.
Art: Chris created a mirror thing, uh... Mirror drive.
Art: Mirror drive of Reasoner's computer and we've been through everything but the games; haven't found sh1t.
Raylan: Not even p0rn?
Art: Well, we haven't found sh1t that would tell us where he might be. Chief, we just got an anonymous call saying Bobby Green and somebody named Carter Hayes just walked into First Cumberland in Versailles. Special agent Davi, special agent Burnes. You're Givens?
Raylan: Yep. They only sent one of you?
Raylan: One riot, one ranger. Meaning you guys think the call is bogus?
Raylan: Meaning we're spread so thin right now, there's no one else left in the office. What'd you see?
Raylan: Well, I didn't get a good visual, but the patrons I did see looked calm. Last time, they waited in line, cased the place, first. Basically somebody needs to go in there casual and take a look.
Raylan: I'll do that. The old man's our fugitive, right? Well, we'll cover the perimeter in case you need backup.
Raylan: Sounds like a plan.
Art: Son of a bitch.
Raylan: Gentlemen, keep your hands where I can see them. Nice and easy. Are you all by yourself, marshal? Everybody on the ground! This is a robbery! Slowly! Slowly! I hope you're not counting on your grandpa to give you backup. We might have to take him to hell slightly before his time.
Raylan: Where's Frank? He was holding us up. We left him at the hotel, dying.
Raylan: Then who tipped us you were here? Son of a bitch. What? Car's gone. It got stolen?
Raylan: Hey, dumb sh1t, where's the money? In the car? Marshal, it's like this. We're waiting for the armored car to get here from the Keeneland racetrack.
Raylan: Oh. Now, it appears to be running just a couple minutes late, but when it gets here, we're gonna take our money and be on our way. Otherwise... I'm gonna have to huff and puff.
[ Chuckles ]
Raylan: Okay.
Okay. Clearly, you're the smart one. I'm hoping you know what to do now. And you're the one who kicks innocent women in the face. You mean that girl from this morning? She didn't seem so innocent. Does she taste as good as she looks?
Raylan: You know where I'm from, asshole? No.
Raylan: Harlan county. So?
[ Grunts ]
Raylan: Down there, we know the difference between dynamite and road flares.
Okay, boys, this is a bank robbery. It's all yours.
[ Grunts ]
Great.
[ Sniffles ]
Okay.
[ Breathing deeply ]
Art: Mr. Reasoner.
Guess you didn't believe I was giving myself up.
Art: Hell, no one did. But I also didn't believe all that "blaze of glory" bullshit. Found all those flight simulators on your computer, and then I remembered that you used to own a plane back in the day. Figured you were refamiliarizing. I wouldn't do that. Unless you're rethinking that "blaze of glory." Remember I used to teach firearms back at Glynco. That why you came out here all by your lonesome? 'Cause you wanted to give me the chance to high-noon it?
Art: No, I came down here all by lonesome 'cause everybody at the office is out fooling around with Bobby Green at the bank and that guy with the... the bomb vest. Was that your plan... Send them there and then dime them to us? Now, Reasoner... My knees are not gonna hold up to a foot chase. If you run, I'm gonna put a bullet in that tank. You remember the end of "Jaws"? Yeah. Yeah, I remember.
[ Breathes deeply ]
Art: Reasoner, don't... [ Coughing ]
Art: Oh, sh1t!
Asshole!
[ Wheezing ]
Art: Ow. God damn it.
Oh. Reasoner, stop!
[ Wheezing ]
[ Gasps ]
[ Coughs ]
[ Wheezing ]
Art: Damn!
This sh1t really necessary?
[ Breathing deeply ]
Art: Bet you wish you'd quit smoking now.
sh1t'll kill you. You got a family, chief? Yep.
[ Clears throat ]
Waiting on our third grandchild. You love your wife?
Art: Most of the time. Me too. But when you start staring down that barrel, you start thinking of all the lives you never lived.
Art: Where were you headed? Little fishing village outside Puerto Vallarta. To live out my days in a hut on the beach... Drinking beer, mescal, and getting blowjobs from hookers.
Art: You really think your ticker's up for all that? But I was willing to give it a try. Come on, chief. There's room for both of us.
Art: I reckon I'd better stay around here.
[ Police radio chatter ]
Raylan: Well, you were right.
Art: 'Course I was right.
Raylan: I'm wondering if we should be worried how sure you were he was planning to just take off and give everyone the finger.
Art: Ask me again in 20 years.
Raylan: Whoa. Wait a second.
When did you get those?
Art: Oh, a couple days ago. My wife kept complaining that I couldn't hear her, and I decided to get them anyway.
Raylan: You need me to carry that?
Art: Ha! Kiss my ass.
Raylan: Seriously, you want me to take it into the office, scan the money for you, it's not a problem.
Art: Yeah, that'd be good. I'm gonna get on home, start pricing some flights to Puerto Vallarta.
Raylan: [ Breathes deeply ]
[ Vehicle approaching ]
[ Engine shuts off ]
[ Door closes ]
Winona: How are we?
Raylan: Hello to you, too.
Winona: Come on, Raylan.
I've been climbing the walls.
Raylan: 15 years ago, the fed redesigned the hundred, changed the colors, made the portrait bigger. If your bill was in the cage 20 years, that means it was printed before that, so I went through every hundred in that bag, and these are the only ones where the portrait is still small. So if the bill you took was in the bag, it has to be one of these.
Winona: I don't know what to say. Thank you. Thank you.
Raylan: Mm-hmm.
Winona: Thank you. Thank you.
Raylan: [ Chuckles ]
[ Both chuckle ]
Winona: [ Groans ]
Raylan: Hurts still?
Winona: Only when I breathe. [ Sighs ]
Raylan: You know we're gonna have to talk about it... sooner or later.
Winona: I know.
|
Plan: A: A bank robbery; Q: What further complicates the relationship between Winona and Raylan? A: Winona; Q: Who is placed in potential legal trouble? A: Art; Q: Who has the chance to track down a fugitive? Summary: A bank robbery further complicates the relationship between Winona and Raylan, as well as placing her in potential legal trouble. Art has the chance to track down a fugitive from his early career.
|
EXT. - DECK OF A CRUISE SHIP - DUSK
[A beautiful, serene sunset. A cellist plays for an audience on the deck.]
[Title card: Key West, Florida]
[Sexpert Phoebe Sparkle sits at a table, watching the cellist intently. A couple of women sitting at the table are whispering.]
Woman #1: Go on. Ask her.
Woman #2: (shaking head) No. You.
Woman #1: I just wanna get my book signed.
[Woman #1 rolls her eyes and turns to Phoebe, who's still watching the cellist.]
Woman #2: Miss Sparkle...
[Phoebe turns to her, then back to the cellist.]
Woman #2: I think I've only had three classes of orgasms. How do I get to the sixth? Or seventh?
Phoebe: You need to experiment. Try a new lover. Try several.
Woman #1: Bu - but - in your book -
Phoebe: Shhh.
[Phoebe watches as the cellist plays. When the cellist finishes, the audience claps. Phoebe stands.]
Phoebe: That was just divine. Do you take requests?
Cellist: Well, what's your desire?
Phoebe: Your pleasure.
[The cellist smiles then starts to sing in French.]
LATER -
[Phoebe and the cellist are in one of the cabins.]
Phoebe: You ready for number four?
[Phoebe goes down on the cellist.]
OUTSIDE THE CABIN DOOR -
[Several women listen at the door, laughing quietly.]
LATER -
[Phoebe and the cellist are having s*x in the jacuzzi.]
LATER -
[Phoebe and the cellist are having s*x against the railing on the deck.]
Cellist: Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
[The cellist squeals.]
INT. - THE GARAGE - DAY
[Mark is asleep in bed with a woman. His computer is on. Jenny is on the monitor, shown in her room. She is looking at the camera and speaking in a childish voice as she undresses.]
Jenny: (monitor) My name is Mary. And I'm fourteen years old, and I'm a virgin. My pussy's never been touched by a big cock before.
[Mark stirs in bed. He rolls over and spoons with the woman.]
Jenny: (monitor) And I want you to f*ck me. Here's my pussy. I want you...
[Mark realizes he's hearing Jenny. He sits up.]
Jenny: (monitor) ... to take your big cock, and I want you to shove it up my ass. A boy has never seen my tits before.
[Mark flies out of bed and turns the monitor off.]
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - JENNY'S ROOM - DAY
[Jenny stands topless in front of a mirror. She's writing across her chest with a marker: "Is this what you want?" An urgent knock comes at her door.]
Mark: (muffled through door) Jenny.
Jenny: Come in.
[Jenny doesn't make any effort to hide. She faces the door and puts her hands on her hips. Mark enters slowly.]
Mark: Jenny, you have no idea what's -
[Mark stops when he sees Jenny, topless, with her message scrawled on her chest.]
Mark: No, this is not what I want.
[Mark closes the door.]
Mark: Jenny, you have the wrong idea about this, please.
[Jenny grabs some clothes and starts to dress. Mark sees his video camera sitting on a table.]
Mark: Is that my camera?
Jenny: Yeah. And I'm gonna use it now.
Mark: And that's my tape of Shane and Carmen.
Jenny: I don't really think that's your tape.
Mark: Look. I know what you think of me right now. I know that I don't have a very good track record with things I've made but I wanna make a documentary -
Jenny: You have violated us. You are violating us.
Mark: I know.
Jenny: You have crossed every line of trust. And don't you dare tell me this is for the sake of art.
Mark: Please. Watch my documentary. You know me. You'll understand. It's not what you think it is. I know that I crossed the line. I know that I went too far with this.
[Jenny picks up the video camera and starts to film Mark as he pleads.]
Mark: Look, when I moved here, this was just something I did, you know, but, you have to know -
Jenny: Do you have any sisters?
Mark: (a beat) Yes, I have two younger sisters.
Jenny: Mkay. I want you to ask them a question.
[Jenny sets the camera back down.]
Jenny: And the most important thing is that you really listen... to their answer. I want you to ask your sisters about the very first time that they were intruded upon by some man, or a boy.
Mark: What makes you think my sisters have been intruded upon?
Jenny: Because there isn't a single girl or woman in this world that hasn't been intruded upon and and sometimes it's relatively benign, and sometimes it's so f*cking painful.
[Mark stares at the floor.]
Jenny: But you. Have no idea. What this feels like.
[Mark looks full of regret. Jenny eyes him sternly.]
Mark: For what it's worth, I already began taking down the cameras and I will finish taking down the rest of them today. I'm gonna go tell Shane now what I've done, and you guys can talk -
Jenny: No.
Mark: - you don't ever have to speak to me again, I'm gonna pack my sh1t -
Jenny: I said no.
Mark: - and I'll move out.
Jenny: You're not gonna talk to Carmen. And you're not gonna talk to Shane. You're not gonna wreck their vacation and f*ck with their lives anymore. (sternly) I'm gonna decide... when you can take those rapey cameras down.
[Mark stares at the floor and nods.]
Jenny: Now get the f*ck out of my room.
[Mark looks hurt. He leaves. Jenny finishes buttoning up her shirt.]
INT. - THE PLANET - DAY
[A line is formed at the counter. The barista serves a customer a cup of coffee.]
Barista: There you go.
Customer: Thank you.
[The customer walks off. The line behind him is long. Kit is making her way down the line, taking orders from the other customers.]
Kit: And what would you like today?
Male customer: I'll have an organic salad and a Cafe Americano?
Kit: (writing) Okay.
[Kit gives him his receipt and moves to the female customer behind him.]
Kit: And what would you like?
[Benjamin walks up behind her and puts a bouquet of flowers in her face.]
Female customer: Uh -
Benjamin: I'd like to know if the lady will join me for a lunch.
[Kit doesn't turn around to look at him. She looks miffed.]
Kit: Benjamin, I'm really busy. (to customer) And what would you like?
Benjamin: Then dinner, followed by breakfast in bed.
[Benjamin pokes his nose in her hair and smiles. She finally relents and smiles a little.]
INT. - KCRW STUDIO - DAY
[Alice sits at the mic with Dana at her side. Alice speaks nervously into the mic.]
Alice: You're listening to K-C-R-W. This is Alice Pieszecki, of The Chart.
[Alice dings a pencil against 3 water-filled glasses. Each makes a different noise. Dana grins from ear to ear.]
Alice: Uh. Today, my special guest on the chart is my girlfriend, Dana Fairbanks. Now, Dana -
Dana: Hi!
[Dana waves and grins. Alice looks at her.]
Alice: Mkay. Uh - who is responsible for today's piece of inner-connectedness. (clears throat) Dana got invited to speak on the lifestyles leadership panel on an Olivia Cruise for women. Wha -
Dana: For gay women, actually!
Alice: Okay -
Dana: It's called "Lesbians Dynamics, Love, and Friendship".
Alice: Now -
Dana: And it's gonna me and Phoebe Sparkle and probably -
Alice: Uh, sorry. Dana, um, I'm not really ready to go there yet. (clears throat) So she's taking me, and also our friends -
Dana: (whispers) Sorry.
Alice: Jenny, Shane, and Carmen. Now. Just to digress for a minute into lesbian linkage 101, originally Shane and Carmen hooked up. But now, Carmen is seeing Jenny, who's totally coming out of the closet. Whe -
Dana: (whispering) You can't tell them that, Alice!
Alice: Um, anyway. Back to the big web of connectivity.
[Alice dings on the glasses.]
Alice: One of my major idols, Phoebe Sparkle, a briliant writer and acclaimed sexpert and -
Dana: And she's a very nice -
[Alice covers Dana's mouth with her hand.]
Alice: What she, uh, is going to be doing is speaking on the panel with Dana.
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - JENNY'S ROOM - DAY
[Jenny sits on the bed, in front of Mark's video camera. All over the bed are old books, old notebooks, and very old, black and white photos of Jenny's family. The era of most of the photos seems to be pre-World War II.]
Jenny: Hi mom. As you can see, I have all our family pictures here and I'm video taping this because I have a couple of questions for you about zayda. (grandfather)
[Jenny pics up an old photo of an old man in a long, white beard. An older woman stands at his side. Jenny rubs her thumb over the picture of the old man.]
Jenny: I would like to know if Zaydeh lost his mind when he began to transcribe the Torah by hand, or did that cause him to lose his mind. Do you remember the day they took him away? And then I wanted to ask you questions about Grandma.
[Jenny picks up another old photo, this one of a middle-aged man and woman with an infant between them. She holds it up for the camera, then looks at it.]
Jenny: Or Grandma, if you're watching this, I wanted to ask you questions about your experience in Auschwitz. I wanted to know if, when you arrived in Auschwitz, did they separate you from your daughter? (voice wavering) And I wanted to know if you remember the name of the Unterscharfuhrer who took your arm and branded you with that tattoo. Do you remember his eyes... do you remember if he used a steel plate -
[A knock comes at the door.]
Jenny: - or did he use a needle...
[Jenny looks down sadly at the photo in her hands. Carmen enters.]
Carmen: I'm - I'm really sorry to interrupt. I just... wanted to say hello to you, but you know what, I can come back at another time if, um -
[Jenny doesn't turn around.]
Jenny: No, it's okay.
Carmen: Are you sure?
Jenny: Yeah. I'm just working on a project about my family.
Carmen: Wow.
[Carmen sits on the bed next to Jenny. Jenny smiles as she shows the pictures.]
Jenny: This is my family.
Carmen: Oh, my goodness.
Jenny: (pointing to camera) And I'm making a tape for my mom. (to Carmen) Say hi to my friend Carmen.
Carmen: (smiling) Oh, um, hello Mrs. Schecter. (giggles)
Jenny: And that is my mom.
[Jenny hands a photo to Carmen.]
Carmen: She's beautiful.
[Carmen looks at the photo, smiling. Jenny's smile fades.]
Carmen: Um, have you packed?
Jenny: No.
Carmen: Do you want me to help you start or something?
Jenny: No. I totally forgot. I've just been so engrossed in this project. And I'm really into it, so (sniffles) I've decided I'm not gonna go on the trip.
[Carmen wipes a tear from Jenny's cheek. Jenny looks at her photos.]
Jenny: I want you to go away with Shane.
Carmen: What?
Jenny: Yep.
Carmen: With Shane. Wha -
Jenny: Because I think you guys will have a blast together.
Carmen: Jenny, absolutely not. You are not going to pull out of this.
Jenny: You know -
Carmen: No excuses. No. You're coming.
Jenny: This is not an excuse. When Burr Connor fired me, he just - the best thing that came out of that experience was, he was like, you gotta tell the truth about your life, and you have to be truthful about your work, and that's all I wanna do is just tell the f*cking truth and I -
Carmen: Alright, alright, alright, okay, okay, fine, fine, well here's a truth: I would like to go with my girlfriend. So, you know -
Jenny: (looks at Carmen) Who's that?
Carmen: It's you.
Jenny: Please just tell me the truth.
INT. - DEPARTMENT STORE - DRESSING ROOM - DAY
[Helena and Tina are in the dressing room. Tina is trying on an expensive black evening dress. Helena pushes the curtain back to talk to the store clerk just outside. She pulls on the thin straps that hold the top of the dress up.]
Helena: Yes, do you think we could pull these straps up a little? Because...
[Helena puts her hands on Tina's breasts from behind and squeezes them together.]
Helena: ... this is what I want to see.
[Tina looks uncomfortable. Helena smiles and nuzzles her.]
Clerk: No problem at all.
Helena: Good. We'll take it.
[Tina furrows her brow.]
Tina: (to Clerk) Can you excuse us for a minute, please?
Clerk: Of course.
Tina: Thanks.
[The clerk pulls the curtain shut.]
Tina: (to Helena, whispering) This is a $5,000 dress.
Helena: And?
Tina: They're giving me an award for community service. I don't want to show up in some sort of extravagant, over-the-top gown. That money could be used in so many other ways.
Helena: (gently) Tina, please... don't tell me what I can and cannot spend my own money on. Do you know how much money I personally give away every year? How many charities the Peabody Foundation sponsors? I mean... (looking Tina over) it would give me utmost pleasure to buy you this dress, so... please. Be gracious enough to let me?
[Tina smiles a little. Helena kisses her. They smile. Helena giggles, then opens the curtain.]
Helena: (to clerk) We'll take it.
[Helena gets her credit card out of her billfold while Tina looks at herself in the mirror.]
Helena: Did I mention I invited Bette?
Tina: What?
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - JENNY'S ROOM - DAY
[Shane is walking down the hall outside Jenny's room.]
Jenny: Hey, Shane. C'mere.
[Shane enters. Jenny seems in better spirits.]
Jenny: Hi.
Carmen: Okay, um, I have something to tell you. This one right here, she doesn't wanna go.
Shane: What?
Jenny: Not going.
Shane: You're going on that cruise.
Jenny: I'm not going.
Shane: Yes you are.
Jenny: No I'm not. I don't want to. You know why? I'm actually working on something that's important to me and I just don't wanna f*ck around anymore and I wanna be serious about my work.
Shane: (shrugs) Okay. If you're not going, I'm not going.
Carmen: What!
[Shane starts to leave.]
Jenny: Uh!
Carmen: Wait a minute! No, come back!
Jenny: Come back here!
Carmen: If you don't go, and you don't go, then I'm not gonna go, and I wanted to go! And - and - and - I guess Dana and Alice are gonna have to be pissed because no one's gonna go!
Jenny: Oh, my god!
Carmen: I'm not gonna go!
Jenny: I'm gonna go! I'm gonna go!
[Shane and Jenny high-five.]
Jenny: We're gonna be a f*cking threesome, man! (laughs)
[Carmen doesn't look happy with the idea.]
INT. - ALICE'S APARTMENT - ALICE'S BEDROOM - NIGHT
[Alice and Dana are packing.]
Dana: I don't know. But we're both still taking ginger, alright? Oh, and just in case? I've got these two things for seasickness.
[Dana puts a bottle of pills in her bag.]
Alice: You're not gonna get seasick.
[Dana looks at their packing list.]
Dana: There's no reason for both of us to take things like toothpaste, or... razors, or...
[Alice throws clothes in her bag. She looks irritated.]
Dana: ... Q-Tips... or hand sanitizer. Al?
Alice: Hm?
Dana: What's wrong?
Alice: Nothing.
Dana: Yes there is. Okay, let's just work this out before we get on the giant boat that sinks with you mad at me.
[Dana is ignored.]
Dana: Alice?
[Still ignored. Dana tosses her hands up.]
Dana: Look, I am a wreck about this cruise and you're not helping.
Alice: How would you feel, Dana, if I - if I came down and I just interrupted one of your matches, or - or... corrected one of your shots?
Dana: Okay. Is this about me talking on your show?
Alice: You weren't talking, you were interrupting me, and you don't even respect the fact that it was my gig! And I feel like I'm always there for you.
[Alice sighs. Dana crawls over the bed to her.]
Dana: I'm really sorry.
[Alice smiles. They kiss, then hug.]
Dana: I'm such an ass.
Alice: It's alright.
Dana: Sorry. I just hate these cruises. I just get really seasick and scared, you know?
Alice: You don't have to be that scared. I'm gonna be there to take care of you, baby.
[Dana grins. They kiss.]
Alice: Look at it this way: No one ever got sick on The Love Boat.
Dana: Actually, that's not true. Corey Parker. He was horribly seasick.
Alice: No, no, no, the ship's doctor was Bernie Koppell. Doctor Adam Bricker.
Dana: Right. And then Corey Parker played Doctor John Morgan, um, his replacement. It was the sequel: Love Boat: The Next Wave.
Alice: Well, yeah, but that doesn't count, it doesn't have Gopher and Isaac Washington and, you know, Captain Merrill Stubing. That's not The Love Boat.
Dana: And don't forget Julie.
Alice: Right.
[Dana chuckles and nods, indicating she thought Julie was hot.]
Dana: Hel-lo.
Alice: Really?
INT. - JENNY AND SHANE'S HOUSE - SHANE'S ROOM - NIGHT
[Shane is packing. Mark enters. He clears his throat. She turns and sees him.]
Shane: Hey.
Mark: Hey.
Shane: Hmph. You scared me.
Mark: How's the packing coming along?
[Shane looks at him.]
Shane: What's up with you?
Mark: You're liable to hear sh1t about me while you're gone, and since I won't be there to defend myself, I just... I don't want you to think I'm a total asshole.
Shane: What'd you do?
Mark: Can't tell you. I'm sorry. I promise you you'll find out eventually, though.
Shane: You're being really intense and cryptic right now.
Mark: Yeah, well, it's my style - really intense and cryptic. It's how I get all the ladies.
[Shane chuckles and continues packing.]
Mark: Yeah. Shane... I just want you to know that... that I'm your friend.
[Shane looks at him, really respecting his words.]
Shane: I'm your friend, too.
EXT. - LAX AIRPORT - DAY
[The busy LAX airport. Lots of people walk around the passenger drop off areas. Porters push carts around. A black stretch limo pulls up.]
Alice: (off screen) Do you think that Captain Stubing got more women, or the doctor?
Carmen: (off screen) No, the doctor did not get more women -
Alice: (off screen) He gets so many!
[The girls get out of the limo and go to the back. A porter hands them their bags. Everyone has one of those overhead compartment-sized travel bags on rollers.]
Carmen: Captain Stubing and Julie were not having an affair. Okay? Did you ever watch the show? Captain Stubing was married!
Alice: Right. But supposedly somebody was a big homo.
Carmen: What?!
Shane: Who cares!
Jenny: Why do we say it like being a homo is, like, some dirty secret?
Carmen: Thank you, exactly. (to porter) Thank you.
Dana: (to porter) Thank you.
Alice: You guys, this is fantastic, we're all carrying-on.
Dana: What? No, no! No. I'm checking! I'm checking.
[Alice gives Dana a look as they go inside.]
INT. - LAX AIRPORT - DAY
[The airport is filled with people all going in separate directions. A man speaks over an intercom somewhere. The girls walk in through a couple of sets of mechanical doors.]
[Shane and Carmen walk together. Jenny follows behind them a few feet. Dana and Alice are at the back, bickering.]
Alice: I don't know why you're being like this, your bag will totally fit in the overhead compartment.
Dana: No, it's too heavy.
Alice: No, it's not. Do you want me to take it, 'cause I'll switch with you.
Dana: No! I don't! Just...
[Dana's bag flips over as she rolls it. She stops and flips it back over.]
Dana: Look, I just don't wanna put it through security, okay?
Alice: Why?
Dana: I don't - I just don't!
Alice: Okay, fine, you're gonna hold everyone else up, because no one else is checking anything.
[Alice stomps off. Dana tries to hurry after her.]
Dana: Alice! Al! Al!
[The bag flips over again.]
Dana: Goddammit! Alice...
EXT. - HOTEL - DAY
[Bette pulls up outside a hotel, where Melvin stands outside waiting. She gets out of the car and smiles and waves.]
Bette: Daddy!
[He smiles. They hug. Bette is very happy to see him.]
Bette: What a nice surprise!
[Melvin laughs happily as he hugs Bette.]
Bette: How are you?
Melvin: I'm very well. And you?
Bette: I'm good. I'm so happy you're here!
Melvin: Oh!
Bette: I'm gonna take you to the office where we're gonna see an amazing painting...
[Melvin moves slowly. Bette helps him to the car.]
Bette: ... that I have on load from the Getty, and then we're gonna have lunch with an incredible artist. Do you remember Allyn Barnes?
Melvin: Is he the painter?
Bette: No, it's not her painting, the painting is 14th century, by Dosso Dossi. No, Allyn Barnes was my teacher at Yale. She's probably one of our most important living artists.
Melvin: Never heard of her.
[Bette smiles, but seems to be hiding disappointment. Melvin gingerly sits down inside the car. Bette closes his door and gets in the driver's seat.]
Bette: (smiling) She's the reason I wanted to go into the arts.
Melvin: I thought that was your mother's influence. Ah. She was a... great artist. Ah. You remember her water colors, don't you?
Bette: (smiling) Of course I do, daddy. I have all of them.
[Bette drives off.]
INT. - LAX AIRPORT - SECURITY CHECKPOINT - DAY
[As usual, there's a long line of people waiting to go through. A TSA officer waves a metal detecting wand over some of the people on the side. It whistles in alert. Carmen and Jenny grab their bags as they come out of the x-ray machine. Behind them, Shane hesitates before walking through the upright metal detector.]
TSA Officer #1: Step through please, ma'am. C'mon.
[Shane does. The metal detector beeps.]
TSA Officer #1: Hold it there. Okay, go over to the side, please.
[Shane rolls her eyes.]
TSA Officer #1: Thank you.
Alice: Dana, nobody cares about medication.
[Alice bumps Dana through the upright metal detector.]
TSA Officer #1: Alright, go ahead.
[Dana gets to the x-ray machine just in time to see her bag being pulled back in.]
TSA Officer #1: Put your arms up.
[Alice raises her arms as she walks through the detector.]
TSA Officer #1: Thank you.
[Dana reaches for her bag.]
Dana: Come back!
[Dana turns and glares at Dana.]
Alice: What?
Dana: This is all your fault.
TSA Officer #2: (to TSA Officer #3) Faye. Come here.
[Off to the side, the third TSA Officer, Faye, is busy patting Shane down with the metal detector wand. Shane has her arms out to her sides. She looks annoyed in her pose.]
TSA Officer #2: I think we got something here.
[TSA Officer #2 shows Faye the x-ray image of Dana's bag. The x-ray is a mix of red, green, and blue, and we can see a mix of things inside the bag, including something long, almost resembling a gun. TSA Officer #2 points it out.]
TSA Officer #2: What is it? Some kind of a weapon?
[Alice and Dana watch nervously. Dana glares at Alice again.]
TSA Officer #2: Ladies? Step over here, please?
MOMENTS LATER -
[The contents of Dana's bag is laid out on a table. Pills, soap, bath products, clothing, leather handcuffs. #2 continues to pull things out. He reaches in and pulls out leather straps, attached to a dildo.]
TSA Officer #2: What... the... hell... is...
[Dana puts her face in her hand. #2 holds the strap-on up in plain sight of everyone. He bends it, his eyes transfixed on it. Carmen and Jenny gasp.]
Jenny: Oh no!
Alice: Just - it -
[Alice quickly grabs the strap-on and holds it up to her crotch, showing the officer what it's supposed to be.]
Alice: 'K?
Jenny: I like the sound of that.
[Faye smiles at Alice.]
Alice: Great.
[Alice sets the strap-on on the table and folds her arms. Dana is embarrassed. Faye raises her brows. #2 pulls out a long chain with small clamps on the ends.]
Alice: Yeah. Nipple clamps.
[He squeezes the clamps.]
Alice: (mumbling to Dana) When did you get those?
[Dana shrugs.]
Alice: Baby!
[They giggle and nuzzle. #2 gives the nipple clamps to Faye.]
Faye: You can't take these on the plane, ladies. You know better than that.
[Faye puts the clamps in her pocket. Dana sadly reaches her hand out. She looks crushed.]
TSA Officer #2: Thank you, ma'am. You can go ahead and pack this back up.
Alice: Great.
[Alice and Dana throw the stuff, minus the nipple clamps but plus the strap-on, back in Dana's bag. Carmen and Jenny watch, smiling.]
Jenny: Oh, my god.
Faye: (winking to Alice) Have fun.
Alice: Yeah! Good, thanks!
INT. - THE CAC - DAY
[Melvin, Bette, and Allyn stand before the Dosso Dossi painting, "Allegory of Fortune", that Bette was talking about earlier. The painting depicts a man and a woman, representing chance and Fortune, wrapped in flowing robes. Chances holds up a handful of lottery tickets in front of Fortune, who sits on a bubble and holds a cornucopia.]
Allyn: Melvin, you seem to be missing the point of the painting. It's about the fleetingness of fortune.
Melvin: I just see it differently.
Allyn: You don't think that the man in the painting is enjoying his life?
Melvin: I don't. Of course I don't. He looks miserable. Spiritually void. The only true abundance is harmony with God.
Allyn: Ah, so faith assures prosperity, is that what you're saying?
Melvin: Figuratively speaking, yes.
Allyn: There it is. The dangling carrot of the Ashcrofts and the Bushies.
Melvin: I beg your pardon. I have nothing in common with the Ashcrofts or the Bushies.
[Bette stares at the painting, looking a little uncomfortable.]
Allyn: It's mercenary Christianity, keeping us mortals in thrall through a combination of fear and payola. It makes me want to go back into a cave and never come out again.
Melvin: That would be your prerogative, madame.
[Melvin walks off. Bette sighs.]
INT. - THE CAC - HALL OUTSIDE BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY
[Bette walks down the hall, looking for Melvin.]
Bette: Daddy?
[Bette sees him shuffle past at the opposite end of the hall. She walks toward him. He shuffles past in the opposite direction.]
Bette: Daddy?
[Melvin stops and looks at her. Bette walks to him.]
Bette: Where are you going?
[Melvin looks around, seemingly disoriented.]
Bette: Here, come on. Are you okay?
Melvin: Yeah.
Bette: We're right here.
[Bette takes him by the arm and walks him into her office a few feet away.]
INT. - THE CAC - BETTE'S OFFICE - DAY
[Bette and Melvin sit down on the couch. Bette looks concerned.]
Melvin: Actually, I... I liked the painting very much.
Bette: (smiling) Oh, good. I'm glad.
Melvin: She just wanted to make me feel ignorant. Your mother and I... (chuckles) We had some heavy arguments. Ah. Smartest woman I ever met. But she was never condescending.
Bette: Daddy... if you loved her so much, then why did you let her leave? Why didn't you try to salvage the marriage?
Melvin: You wouldn't understand.
Bette: Give me a chance.
Melvin: You would've had to have experienced that bond of marriage to appreciate how much I hurt your mother.
Bette: I think I might be able to understand that, daddy.
[Melvin looks at her, then looks down. Bette tries to brush it off. She gets up and goes to her desk.]
Bette: I made a reservation for us at 8:00 at a restaurant called Angelina Osteria. They have really great -
Melvin: I'd prefer to eat at the hotel restaurant tonight. That is, if you don't mind.
Bette: (shrugging) Okay. Whatever you want.
Melvin: And how about seeing if Katie could join us?
Bette: (smiling) You want Kit to come to dinner with us?
Melvin: Yeah. I'd like to see her.
Bette: Well, her boyfriend's in town. He's only here for a couple of days, so...
Melvin: Well, she should bring him too.
[Bette looks troubled.]
Bette: I'll call her.
[Bette picks up the phone, then stops.]
Bette: You know, daddy, I'm struck by the fact that you just invited Kit's boyfriend to come to dinner with us, and she's only been seeing him a short while, but you have not yet said a word about Tina.
Melvin: Well, of course you're welcome to bring her too, if that's what you wish.
Bette: We've split up.
Melvin: Oh. Well, then... I don't know what I'm supposed to say.
Bette: Nothing. You're not supposed to say anything.
[Bette sighs as she dials the phone.]
EXT. - THE OLIVIA CRUISE SHIP - DAY
[A big fancy cruise liner, anchored at a pier.]
EXT. - SHIP - PIER - DAY
[Groups are beginning to board the ship. Phoebe Sparkle and the girl from earlier are making out on the side. As our girls go by, they stare.]
Carmen: Can you believe this? We're actually on a cruise. Jenny! It's going to be fun!
[Carmen, Jenny and Shane pass. Alice and Dana follow. Dana is putting on her seasickness wristband.]
Dana: I've got my little -
[Alice grabs Dana's arm and tries to "act normal" as they pass.]
Dana: Aaagh!
Alice: (singsong) It's Phoebe Sparkle... (gasps) Wait, I want to watch and see if she makes that girl come.
Dana: Can she do that?
Alice:I'm kidding, Dana.
Dana: Oh, my God.
INT. - SHIP - DAY
[A common area, where all the various women are gathering and some of the ship's crew are standing to greet them. The girls pass a group of older women, one of whom is speaking to her own group.]
OWL Member: Ladies, welcome to OWLs. It stands for "older, wiser lesbians." We talk about how spirituality and sexuality are combined, and our definition of "orgasm" is that it is the kiss of God that brings ecstasy to consciousness...
[Jenny and Shane smile at each other as they pass the OWLs.]
Fan: Dana! Dana Fairbanks!
[Dana looks delighted as the fans clamor around her, waving notepads and pens.]
Fans: Oh, over here, over here, let me have your autograph.
Dana: Alright.
[Alice wanders off, straight to the Captain and his first mate. She saunters up to the Captain.]
Alice: Hi. How are you? I'm Alice. Nice to meet you.
Captain: Nice to meet you.
Alice: Can I ask you a question?
Captain: Yeah, sure.
[Alice whispers in his ear.]
Captain: Yeah, sure.
Alice: Yeah? We'll talk?
Captain: Yeah, sure.
Alice: Okay. Excellent.
[Alice turns and smiles and walks back to Dana.]
[SCENE_BREAK]
INT. - SHIP - JENNY, SHANE, & CARMEN'S CABIN - DAY
[The three enter a room barely big enough to hold a double bed. They all crowd around the bed.]
Carmen: Oh. God. I thought we were supposed to have a suite.
Jenny: Well, I have an idea. Why don't we all sleep together, and Carmen, you can sleep in the middle?
[Shane and Carmen look at Jenny like she's lost her mind.]
Jenny: I'm going to go explore.
Shane: Even for Jenny, she's acting weird.
INT. - SHIP - ALICE AND DANA'S CABIN - DAY
[Alice and Dana walk into their large, lavish, nicely-furnished suite.]
Alice: (gasps) f*ck!
Dana: Oh, my god. This is sweet!
Alice: Aww...
[Alice sees a bouquet of red roses on the table. She reads the card.]
Alice: (reading) "Welcome aboard, Dana Fairbanks and friends. We hope you enjoy your time with us. From Olivia Cruise. "P.S., Thank you, Alice, for talking up our cruise on your show."
Dana: That was nice!
Alice: Yeah, I made it up.
EXT. - SHIP - DAY
[The ship is underway, at sea. The horn blows.]
INT. - SHIP - DECK - DAY
[A large crowd of women are gathered in the sunshine to hear Phoebe Sparkle speak on her panel. Dana is also on the panel. A woman in the crowd stands up.]
Woman on panel: Yes, the woman in the back.
Woman in the back: Miss Sparkle, do you think it's possible to be a committed relationship and still carry on a, uh... polyamorous lifestyle?
Phoebe: It's certainly possible. The most important thing is to know that jealousy will rear its head.
[Jenny smiles at Shane. Shane looks uncomfortable.]
Phoebe: You have to agree with your primary loved one to be honest about your feelings, and you have to make rules.
Woman on panel: Woman in yellow?
Woman in yellow: Dana Fairbanks... will you marry me?
[Dana blushes. The crowd cheers and applauds.]
Dana: Sure! No, I'm sorry. (laughs) Uh, thank you, actually, very much, but I'm in one of those, um... committed relationships, and we're not poly... amorphic, or whatever it is. (laughs)
Phoebe: Well, that also works, but I'm guessing that Dana and her partner know how to spice things up.
[The crowd whoops and applauds. Alice playfully salutes Dana from the crowd.]
Woman on panel: All right, we have time for one more question. Right there. (points to Jenny)
Jenny: Miss Sparkle, what is your advice on three-ways?
[The crowd cheers and hoots.]
Jenny: Yay!
[Carmen gives Jenny a look. Shane stares into the distance.]
Phoebe: Well, I think they're great. I'm a big, big fan of group s*x. The only thing is that all parties have to be signed on for the same agenda.
[Jenny nods.]
Woman on panel: So that's the end of our panel for today. I want to thank you all for being here. It's been a pleasure.
[The crowd applauds.]
INT. - RESTAURANT - NIGHT
[Bette and Melvin are having dinner.]
Bette: You should really see Disney Hall, daddy.
Melvin: Okay, but not too early.
Bette: (smiling) Since when did you become a sleepyhead? I do have to get back by 5:00 to get dressed. Tina's being honored.
[Melvin looks at her. Bette beams with pride. Melvin looks away. Bette looks hurt.]
Bette: Don't you want to know why Tina's being honored?
Melvin: Yes, certainly, if you want to tell me.
[Kit and Benjamin walk up to the table. Melvin stands.]
Melvin: Katie...
Kit: Daddy...
[They smile at each other.]
Kit: Daddy, I'd like for you to meet my friend Benjamin Bradshaw.
[Benjamin extends his hand. Melvin smiles and looks at them like it's Christmas morning.]
Melvin: Mr. Bradshaw.
Benjamin: Nice to meet you, sir.
[Kit smiles, but doesn't seem very happy. She looks at Bette. They all sit. Benjamin helps Kit with her chair.]
Kit: Thank you. (to Bette) Hey, baby sis.
Bette: Kit.
LATER -
[They're eating dinner.]
Melvin: Now... how did you conceive it, this, uh... "Theory of Everything"?
Benjamin: Are you familiar with quantum physics?
Melvin: Mm. Oh, then it is the Unified Field Theory.
Kit: The unified what theory?
Melvin: Simply, Einstein's... attempt to... explain the mind of God.
Benjamin: Well, that's a marvelous way of looking at it. It includes everything, from Creation to supernovas, to atoms...
Melvin: Even DNA. Our hearts. Our minds.
Kit: It's really been working for me.
Benjamin: Did you tell your father about your business?
Melvin: Business? What business?
Kit: Well, daddy, it's a cafe. I bought it from a friend of Bette's -
Bette: (smiling) It's not just a cafe. Kit has turned it into this swanky nightclub.
[Melvin coughs a little. He puts his napkin to his lips. He looks ill. He stands.]
Melvin: Excuse me. I'll be right back.
[Melvin slowly shuffles away from the table. Bette watches him with a concerned look.]
EXT. - SHIP - NIGHT
[The ship is at sea. Dance music is heard throbbing. The ship is lit up.]
INT. - SHIP - DANCE CLUB - NIGHT
[Carmen is dancing with a couple of girls. Nearby, Jenny and Shane are dancing. Jenny puts her arms around Shane's neck. Shane smiles and twirls her around. Jenny and Carmen dance close, then kiss. Jenny grabs Shane nearby while they're still kissing, and tries to push her into the kiss. When they're all close, Jenny pulls back and Carmen and Shane are left kissing. The moment is too intense; they stop dancing. Shane's lips are an inch from Carmen's. There are a couple of tentative kisses, but Shane doesn't go any further. The room seems to fall away for them as they are both completely focused on the other.]
[Jenny dances nearby.]
[Shane pulls away from Carmen. They both look completely overwhelmed. Shane walks away. Jenny runs her hand through Shane's hair as she walks off, then through Carmen's. Carmen snaps out of her daze and stands on the floor looking lost.]
EXT. - SHIP - RAILING - NIGHT
[Shane leans on the railing of the ship and stares out into the night. She smokes a cigarette. The moonlight reflects off the dark horizon.]
INT. - THE PLANET - DAY
[Kit sets a table for her, Bette, and Melvin. Bette is showing Melvin around the place.]
Bette: She has a stage up there, and then if you take the tables away...
Kit: Hey, you two!
Melvin: Hi!
Kit: Hi!
[They laugh and hug.]
Melvin: And where is Benjamin this morning?
Kit: Um, well, he's at the hotel. He decided that we might like a little family time together. Daddy, have a seat.
[They sit. Bette looks worn out.]
Kit: And how about you, baby sis?
Bette: I didn't sleep very well. I need an espresso.
[Kit looks at Bette like she's not going to get up and get it for her.]
Melvin: He's staying at a hotel? He doesn't live here?
Kit: Um... no, dad, he lives in Portland, Oregon.
Melvin: Portland, Oregon? What's in Portland, Oregon?
Kit: Um... well... he, um...
[Bette kicks Kit in the leg, under the table.]
Bette: (to Melvin) He - he - it's probably what he needs. I mean, really, when he's working, there are all these people clamoring after him, and he probably just needs to get away.
Melvin: Makes perfect sense. (to Kit) Have you been to Portland?
Kit: Uh, no, not yet.
[Bette stands.]
Bette: (to Kit) I really need that espresso. Do you mind?
Kit: Yeah, yeah. Espresso. Right.
[Bette and Kit go to the serving counter.]
MOMENTS LATER -
[Kit pours espresso into a cup.]
Bette: You can't tell him Benjamin's married. He's so happy now.
Kit: (sighs) I hate lying to him.
Bette: Kit, you know, this is the first time in 14 years you've spent time with daddy. Doesn't it feel good?
[Kit hands Bette her cup of espresso.]
Kit: Yeah, it feels real good.
Bette: Then why don't you just enjoy it for a while, and let him enjoy it?
[They head back to the table.]
Kit: Here you go, daddy.
[Melvin picks up the tiny espresso cup. It shakes in his hand.]
Melvin: It's so... so small, I can... hardly pick it up.
[Kit and Bette watch him as he sips.]
Melvin: Ahh. Katie, why don't we have dinner here tonight, hm?
Kit: (surprised) Yeah!
[Kit smiles at Bette. Bette raises her brows with a smile back.]
Melvin: I, uh... would like to try out your chef, and your sister here has a prior engagement with Ms. Kennard.
[Bette fiddles with her ring-less ring finger as she stares at her father.]
Bette: Daddy, do you think you could call her Tina? That's her name. Tina. For the millionth time, her name is Tina. How long have you known her?
[Melvin looks dumbstruck.]
Melvin: Very well. Tina. Uh... (to Kit) Will Benjamin be able to join us?
Bette: You know, I'm just going to leave you two to plan your evening.
[Bette stands and gets her things.]
Kit: Bette...
Melvin: What's wrong?
Bette: You have no regard for what I'm going through, daddy. None. And until you can acknowledge that my relationship of eight years was every bit as meaningful as your marriage to my mother...
[Melvin stares up at his daughter.]
Bette: ... until you can see that my heart is broken because I failed the woman I love, perhaps in the same way that you failed my mother, then I really have nothing else to say. Except, you know... I am not giving up. I'm not gonna end up sad and alone and full of regret.
[Bette walks off. Melvin looks completely lost. Kit looks at him sadly, then takes his hand in hers.]
EXT. - SHIP - DECK - DAY
[Throngs of lesbians mill around on the decks of the ship. Some are in t-shirts and shorts; many are in bathing suits. Dance music blasts. People are laughing and talking and having a good time girl-watching. Dana and Alice, in their bathing suits, stroll out onto the deck and walk down to the deck below, where hundreds more women dance and sit around a tiny swimming pool. Alice sees a guy serving drinks and grabs one.]
Alice: Oh, I want one of those.
[Dana is mobbed by fans. Alice finds Phoebe Sparkle nearby, signing autographs for a small group of fans, ranging from young to old.]
Dana's Fan #1: Dana Fairbanks? Oh, my God. Thank you for being here. Oh, thank you for coming out, and thank you for living your life.
Dana's Fan #2: Oh, my God, I saw you almost beat Capriati in 2002. I drive a Subaru because of you...
Alice: Phoebe? Hi. Sparkle? Hi. Hi. Hi. I'm Alice Pieszecki. I do a radio show in L.A., The Chart. I'm sure you've heard of it.
[Phoebe smiles and shakes Alice's hand, then goes back to signing autographs.]
Alice: Um, is it true, for research purposes, that you sleep with a different woman every night?
Phoebe: Well, I like to have as much s*x as possible, whenever, wherever, but if I come across someone really amazing... I don't know. Too bad the cellist had to leave the boat.
Old lady: And who's going to be next?
Phoebe: You know, I don't know. I'm open to a new discovery.
[Shane walks up to Alice.]
Shane: Hi. Have you seen jenny?
Alice: No. I'm talking to Phoebe Sparkle.
Shane: (to Phoebe) Hi.
Phoebe: Hello.
[Phoebe takes her sunglasses off and smiles at Shane.]
Shane: Hello, Phoebe Sparkle. (to Alice) You haven't seen her?
Phoebe: Um, can I buy you a drink?
Shane: Uh... okay.
Phoebe: Great.
[Phoebe smiles and starts to head to the bar.]
Alice: Thanks, Shane.
Shane: She offered.
Alice: Mm-hmm.
[Alice wanders off.]
ELSEWHERE -
[Not far off, Jenny is dancing in a crowd of women. Carmen walks up. She takes off her sunglasses and furrows her brow. Jenny continues to dance, unaware of Carmen. Carmen looks a little worried. She walks off. Jenny prances over to the pool, lifts her skirt and flashes some women, then jumps in, fully clothed. The other women cheer and howl. Jenny splashes in the water and has a good time.]
Jenny: Aaah!
INT. - SHIP - ALICE AND DANA'S CABIN - DAY
[Dana and Alice enter. Alice goes to the closet. Dana pours herself a drink. Alice returns, and holds up her prize: a Captain's uniform and hat.]
Alice: (seductively) Well, well, well. What have we got here?
[Dana smiles and puts a hand on her hip.]
Dana: Well, it looks like a Captain's uniform to me.
[Alice throws the uniform on the bed nearby and walks slowly to Dana. Dana pulls her hair up and Alice puts the cap on her. Dana smiles mischeviously.]
Dana: Alice...
Alice: It's hot.
[Alice leads Dana over to the bed.]
LATER -
[Dana stands by the bed, dressed in the uniform. She struggles with the crotch, then we see why - she pats a huge bulge and seems satisfied. She turns toward the closed bathroom curtain.]
Dana: Okay! Alright, Al, I'm ready.
Alice: (behind curtain) Okay.
[Dana stands 'at ease' and slips into character. The curtain opens and Alice steps out, dressed up like the character Julie from the original Love Boat series, complete with hair, jacket and clipboard. Alice smiles shyly at Dana.]
Dana: Julie...
[Alice steps out and bats her lashes at at Dana.]
Dana: You look... beautiful.
Alice: Oh, Captain Stubing, thank you.
[Alice steps up to Dana.]
Alice: Captain Stubing... (tosses clipboard in the floor)
[Alice tosses the clipboard in the floor. Dana grabs her hand and puts it on the strap-on.]
Alice: Ohh, God, is that a periscope in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
[Dana puts her arm around Alice and forcefully pulls her tighter to her. Alice moans. Dana tosses her on the bed.]
Alice: Oh! Oh Captain, my Captain!
[Dana climbs on top of Alice. A knock comes at the door.]
Woman: (muffled through door) Guys, it's time for dinner.
Alice: What?!
Woman: You're sitting at the Captain's table.
Alice: What - now?!
[Dana goes to the door and opens it.]
Dana: Hi.
Woman: You're late. All the other panelists are already there.
Dana: But, I have to change!
Woman: (tugging on Dana) You look great!
Dana: No, I can't -
Woman: Come on!
[The woman pulls Dana out the door and starts to head down the hall.]
Dana: (to Alice) Julie!
Alice: Captain Stubing!
[Alice runs after them.]
INT. - SHIP - DINING HALL - NIGHT
[Piano music plays. A few dozen people are dining. Phoebe, Shane, Jenny and Carmen sit at the Captain's table.]
Phoebe: (to Captain) Most of the women on this cruise? They don't have that kind of freedom. This is the only place where they're completely free to express themselves.
Captain: Mm-hmm.
[Phoebe looks up and sees Dana and Alice approaching, still in costume. Everyone looks over. Dana is holding both hers and Alice's hand in front of her bulging crotch.]
Dana: (grinning) Oh! Hi.
Alice: Hi!
Captain: (standing) Hello, good evening.
Dana: (grinning) Hi.
Captain: Nice to see you.
[The waiter helps seat the two women.]
Captain: Thank you, Anji.
Phoebe: (to Captain) See, these girls are completely in their power, free to go wherever their libido takes them. (chuckles)
[Alice has her hand in Dana's crotch. Alice grabs the strap-on. Dana quickly covers her hand with a dinner napkin.]
Captain: You know, for me, it's just business, and as long as the guests are happy, I'm happy.
Phoebe: Mm.
[Jenny and Carmen are chowing down on salad.]
Carmen: (to Jenny) You want to tell me what's going on with you?
Jenny: Nothing.
Carmen: Nothing?
Jenny: No.
Carmen: Okay. Well, it just... (quietly) it seems like you want a three-way with Shane.
Jenny: You seemed like you were very attracted to her, and I just thought it would, I don't know... it would be interesting. It just came into my head.
Carmen: Are you jealous?
Jenny: No, I'm not -
Carmen: Is that what this is all about?
Jenny: No, I'm not jealous.
Carmen: Just tell me if that's what this is all about.
Jenny: No, I'm not jealous. I just thought... we have to explore our options.
[Jenny looks over to another table.]
Jenny: There.
[A butch woman sits in a tux at the other table. She looks over and smiles at Jenny. Jenny smiles back.]
Carmen: Is that what you want?
Jenny: She's beautiful.
[Carmen doesn't seem to buy it. Jenny smiles at her.]
Carmen: The salad's great.
[Carmen goes back to eating.]
EXT. - HOTEL - COMMUNITY SERVICE DINNER - NIGHT
[An extravagant hotel. Cars sit in the passenger loading area.]
INT. - HOTEL - COMMUNITY SERVICE DINNER - NIGHT
[Helena and Tina, dressed in their evening finery, ascend the staircase to the dinner. Dozens of people dressed equally as well are at the top of the stairs, mingling with each other over champagne. Helena instantly starts greeting people and shaking their hands. Saxophone and piano play somewhere in the gathering.]
Helena: How are you? Nice to see you.
Woman: (shaking hands) Helena, hello.
Tina: Nice to see you.
Man: (shaking hands) How are you?
[Helena is meeting and greeting others. Tina looks distracted and glances through the crowd. She spots Bette, dressed to the nines, standing several feet away by herself.]
Tina: (to Helena) I'll be right back.
Helena: Okay.
[Tina walks over to Bette. She looks nervous and excited. They grin at each other.]
Tina: Hi.
Bette: Congratulations.
Tina: Thank you. I means a lot to me that you're here.
Bette: I wouldn't have missed it.
Tina: I've been thinking a lot about us.
|
Plan: A: Dana; Q: Who becomes seasick? A: Shane; Q: Who does Mark come clean to about his secret videotaping? A: Jenny; Q: Who tries to hook up Carmen and Shane? A: an eventful Olivia Cruise; Q: What kind of cruise did Dana, Alice, Shane, Carmen and Jenny take? A: Caribbean; Q: Where did the Olivia Cruise take place? A: The Love Boat; Q: What show do Alice and Dana role-play as? A: Jenny's moody behavior; Q: What do Carmen and Shane question? A: Los Angeles; Q: Where do Bette and Kit live? A: Melvin; Q: Who comes to visit Bette and Kit? A: Tina; Q: Who attends a formal dinner banquet with Helena? A: a prestigious award; Q: What does Tina receive at the banquet? A: Tina's social work; Q: What was Tina being awarded for? Summary: Dana, Alice, Shane, Carmen and Jenny take an eventful Olivia Cruise on a ship around the Caribbean. Alice and Dana attempt to role-play as characters from "The Love Boat," only to end up with Dana becoming seasick. Both Carmen and Shane question Jenny's moody behavior throughout the trip especially when she tries to hook them up. Back in Los Angeles, Bette and Kit struggle to reconcile with their estranged father, Melvin, who comes for a visit. Tina attends a formal dinner banquet with Helena to receive a prestigious award for Tina's social work. Tina asks Bette to date her. Following Jenny's confrontation with Mark, he decides to come clean to Shane about his secret videotaping of her.
|
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