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had been the cause of the trouble, wouldn't he have tried to shoot
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Ashley? Or at least demanded an explanation?
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No, it couldn't be that. It was only that he was drunk and sick
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from strain and his mind was running wild, like a man delirious,
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babbling wild fantasies. Men couldn't stand strains as well as
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women. Something had upset him, perhaps he had had a small quarrel
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with Scarlett and magnified it. Perhaps some of the awful things
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he said were true. But all of them could not be true. Oh, not
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that last, certainly! No man could say such a thing to a woman he
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loved as passionately as this man loved Scarlett. Melanie had never
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seen evil, never seen cruelty, and now that she looked on them for
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the first time she found them too inconceivable to believe. He was
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drunk and sick. And sick children must be humored.
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"There! There!" she said crooningly. "Hush, now. I understand."
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He raised his head violently and looked up at her with bloodshot
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eyes, fiercely throwing off her hands.
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"No, by God, you don't understand! You can't understand! You're--
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you're too good to understand. You don't believe me but it's all
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true and I'm a dog. Do you know why I did it? I was mad, crazy
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with jealousy. She never cared for me and I thought I could make
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her care. But she never cared. She doesn't love me. She never
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has. She loves--"
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His passionate, drunken gaze met hers and he stopped, mouth open,
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as though for the first time he realized to whom he was speaking.
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Her face was white and strained but her eyes were steady and sweet
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and full of pity and unbelief. There was a luminous serenity in
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them and the innocence in the soft brown depths struck him like a
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blow in the face, clearing some of the alcohol out of his brain,
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halting his mad, careering words in mid-flight. He trailed off
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into a mumble, his eyes dropping away from hers, his lids batting
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rapidly as he fought back to sanity.
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"I'm a cad," he muttered, dropping his head tiredly back into her
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lap. "But not that big a cad. And if I did tell you, you wouldn't
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believe me, would you? You're too good to believe me. I never
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before knew anybody who was really good. You wouldn't believe me,
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would you?"
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"No, I wouldn't believe you," said Melanie soothingly, beginning to
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stroke his hair again. "She's going to get well. There, Captain
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Butler! Don't cry! She's going to get well."
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CHAPTER LVII
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It was a pale, thin woman that Rhett put on the Jonesboro train a
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month later. Wade and Ella, who were to make the trip with her,
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were silent and uneasy at their mother's still, white face. They
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clung close to Prissy, for even to their childish minds there was
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something frightening in the cold, impersonal atmosphere between
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their mother and their stepfather.
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Weak as she was, Scarlett was going home to Tara. She felt that
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she would stifle if she stayed in Atlanta another day, with her
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tired mind forcing itself round and round the deeply worn circle of
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futile thoughts about the mess she was in. She was sick in body
|
and weary in mind and she was standing like a lost child in a
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nightmare country in which there was no familiar landmark to guide
|
her.
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As she had once fled Atlanta before an invading army, so she was
|
fleeing it again, pressing her worries into the back of her mind
|
with her old defense against the world: "I won't think of it now.
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I can't stand it if I do. I'll think of it tomorrow at Tara.
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Tomorrow's another day." It seemed that if she could only get back
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to the stillness and the green cotton fields of home, all her
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troubles would fall away and she would somehow be able to mold her
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shattered thoughts into something she could live by.
|
Rhett watched the train until it was out of sight and on his face
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there was a look of speculative bitterness that was not pleasant.
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He sighed, dismissed the carriage and mounting his horse, rode down
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Ivy Street toward Melanie's house.
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It was a warm morning and Melanie sat on the vine-shaded porch, her
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mending basket piled high with socks. Confusion and dismay filled
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her when she saw Rhett alight from his horse and toss the reins
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over the arm of the cast-iron negro boy who stood at the sidewalk.
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She had not seen him alone since that too dreadful day when
|
Scarlett had been so ill and he had been so--well--so drunk.
|
Melanie hated even to think the word. She had spoken to him only
|
casually during Scarlett's convalescence and, on those occasions,
|
she had found it difficult to meet his eyes. However, he had been
|
his usual bland self at those times, and never by look or word
|
showed that such a scene had taken place between them. Ashley had
|
told her once that men frequently did not remember things said and
|
done in drink and Melanie prayed heartily that Captain Butler's
|
memory had failed him on that occasion. She felt she would rather
|
die than learn that he remembered his outpourings. Timidity and
|
embarrassment swept over her and waves of color mounted her cheeks
|
as he came up the walk. But perhaps he had only come to ask if
|
Beau could spend the day with Bonnie. Surely he wouldn't have the
|
bad taste to come and thank her for what she had done that day!
|
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