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and i i don't believe in god no religion says yet i was
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the question because of my mother till i was fourteen when i thought about it when i emerged with
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from my own culture things changed i i think about it a lot i value our
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of god what is a creator the almighty that uh
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i don't wanna pinpoint what exactly god is i i didn't see the burning
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it's everywhere including the philosophy i think god's everywhere from the
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um in portraying a character you project a lot of what you wanna do dramatically so i did a lot with that with the tiger but also when you portray something you're imitating it you're interpreting it so i
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of a great art so you have to explore you have to give a
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we don't quite know yet maybe we'll throw it away in five years from now maybe five years from now that's all we do i i i i don't know but i'm a novice of that media i got very
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you know when i started out my career nobody gave me books like you know i have to write
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uh i think i i chose the book because
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and done their research put their soul into it it make me want to do some
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most of the time i read them that make me want to do a movie not be not necessarily because i think
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can measure success in so many ways for me i i rather think i'm i'm myself a
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you've been cursed like why why this movie chose me to to to be the vehicle what have i done why do i have to go
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it's very hard to judge success i i don't wanna measure success by box office or what or even word of mouth
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how i connect and my crew connect with the experience of making it is something else to me every every movie we go through that
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with all sincerity that's a success uh what what a way to leave our
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oh this one i definitely am proud of the more difficult the more i'm proud of but i love them like all my
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little patches of flashback of my memories experience they're all put
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theater sometimes in the melodramas or operatic movies i will cry so hard a whole
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uh it started from big movie to like your mainstream movies so for a long time it was
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between me and sight and sound and i had some theatrical background that helped the traumatic event
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just when when i everybody started to listen to me
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it's a script computation held by the government i thought i might win some
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i pitched them the movie they pitched them to me they say what a a king of
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we're gonna make this movie the whole time i was hoping that
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uh i told him i spent an hour total in the movie is like the
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if you want me to make another movie which i didn't want to end my career i feel like retiring after
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says a bad my my older son with make me that trip he sets bad example
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so i wanna i did the funeral and i didn't want it have time to to
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and when it hit the shopping mall it became a hit i got nervous i think people are gonna lynch me for portraying gay
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yeah i had some difficulties some feel hesitated or didn't call back
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uh for obvious reasons but i like that kind of work i need to work instead of uh sitting at home feeling bad for myself i need something i need a direction
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less of a production stress if make your focus on preserving the performance only
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and whatever ambition since you have since the student days all you have to do is finish the day and make sure that
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yeah it feels that way it feels like that project that story was to meet the
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making the movie is about trusting the tale trusting each other that's
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then the second time i met her she took me around in the northern part of wyoming showed me the towns the folks
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thing brokeback mountain would be uh same thing with larry when even more
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but once i was onboard once she said what she had to say the wyoming way whenever i talk about being gay in wyoming but just wyoming
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and the vibe the the feeling of wyoming the the west not the your western movie west but realistic uh rural life of the american west and the spirit of
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and the foundation she wants to make sure it's captured uh once
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bother us on the script or anything i'm sure she struggled with the script writer early on and that's many years before i was on board but once i start making the movie and it was my movies she would give us notes about don't forget this and that many details like that's just
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not not really uh i i did ride with the devil another movie which is a pre western
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well it's hard to get the the right the proper finance money to
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they met and and herding sheep in the mountain brokeback mountain wyoming tough
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one there that gets too colder both in the tent it tipped over they didn't know what happened they thought it was one summer
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of become a functional father and husband leave their
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and she kept trying to to hide out going back to brokeback mountain because having a life together is not possible
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i was surprised scene by scene how they carried the age you know twenty to
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put put in regular preparation i want him to carry that western mood
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sort of the other side of america we're more familiar with the romantic the
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there struck me as he's a uh actor with weight it it really holds your
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all i could do for the movie cause i shot it that way the flashback happened twice
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then he'd go for precisions cause there's no coverage in this scene i wanna do a one
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yeah they just sent and sometimes something magic happened it's not one person's plan they have to correspond to each other
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who who knows which one is is the most perfect one i also had to see how it fit with everything else in the movie so i was guessing i always kept doing it kept
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me and because the challenge i think the only way to get out of it is they have to be
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i think it's i was very moved um um i was hardly moved i was professional i remember uh
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they're kind of besides themselves very genuine and i was i was
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they feel like a cowboy they feel like ranch hand they know each other so much more
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somebody asked me um how do you feel after this shooting this
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and on the set i feel right at we're doing a scene it feels quite
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i craft a movie and lay it out reveal the story in the way i think nobody knows anything
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that knows so much and have anticipations and how do you take that into calculation how do you take that
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things are not always in control like you have a thousand sheep
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and shooting is like buying groceries you try to get the best ingredient
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very exciting about shooting is you prepare for months from your decision to make it to all the way to the day you're shooting that scene it's a long process a lot of anticipation so many people's effort now everything's
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and they're not in control you're battling it that moment's very precious especially
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that moment is very precious to me i was in altered state which i am not in when i'm just laid back and editing
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like in a i can shoot everything they still have to decide but still that's my decision
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and help shaping it by observing it and finding it it's a little
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and less uh politically really provocative i could get the movie i'm well
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uh to do up to my standard in terms of productions that's a
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you have to make things happen instead of two hundred people push you forward you push two hundred people you know something like that but it gets easier the more movie
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i think the biggest battle is is is culture how do you make it how do you when a movie come out how did
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but other than that it is unreal like yeah i feel like a little twilight
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the less known material like brokeback mountain attracts me but that's also
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you don't think about that person at all just because we're playing such different characters it's not we're not in a dystopian world our you know everything is different about these guys so
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coping mechanisms i think that you know one could say that augustus is fearless but
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and he is actually very very fearful of of dying without leaving his mark and hazel helps him
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it's a like an idealistic way of thinking about things right everyone everyone wants to be not everyone but especially at a young age like you're told that like success is what you want and it you wanna change the world and then as you get
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realizing you know even even if you do like leave a mark what does that what's the big deal like as hazel says oblivion is inevitable
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um that yeah that's it's an i think it's a natural thing for young people to have so it's realistic that john writes a
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any of my heroes that you know were were bad people or something i once heard a funny story someone someone said that they were like a
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like a long time ago obviously a big fan of mickey mantle a huge fan and they waited and they waited outside of yankee stadium for him to show up and when he finally did they ran over to him and mickey mickey can i have an
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they you know they're not obsessed with van houten they're just hazel's obsessed with this book
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they're more you know they don't idolize in that way so when he does sorta spit on them they're sort of like screw you man we don't need you anymore what we have here is more
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i read the script about two years ago and i mean it was pretty much simultaneous that the the whole movie hype and the book rose together so it was um perfect timing like i i i actually read
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um which was when it was really getting popular and shortly it it became my favorite book and i really really loved it and once i read it i hadn't gotten the role yet and i was like i need to get
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i feel like everyone's dealt with cancer indirectly directly um someone they know or they know someone who knows someone um so that makes a story obviously very universal um but then also it's it's a above that it's a beautiful love story and i i think that's what makes our movie so special is that you leave the theater
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hopeful and um someone once told me that that once they left the theater that they called everyone they loved and told them that they love
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so it really is about appreciating what's in front of you and it's not just a sad story and i think that's
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i think that's always very interesting because especially as actors and when we're young and in school all they tell us to do is be natural and be as you know just be as natural as possible but sometimes people in real life have a have a
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and i think augustus in the beginning of the story definitely has a bluff and he's over the top and he
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that was i think that was important to us because it's not often that a studio movie would have their leading lady having a cannula in their mouth always or on the movie poster let alone and that that's something that hollywood doesn't do very often and we were really proud to to do something like that and really
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you know have the the real the main characters be the people with the disease and and show it and like not
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crazy feeling but you know i i mean i'm not gonna take credit for anything tom cruise is tom cruise and he's amazing uh it's just our story i think is a really special story and i couldn't be happier that you know that we
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when someone said you know you can always make art and make the best art you can but you can never guarantee you'll have an audience for it and something that we're all proud of me my costars shailene and nat um we're so proud because this is something we're all so happy with and proud of and this is the thing that we're getting the most audience for and getting recognized for and that
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