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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20/F] don't know how to not be clingy. I don't care about anything in my life except my boyfriend [22/M].
POST: Basically the title sums it up. I hate my life, I don't care about anything I'm doing right now but I can't change my situation because I have one semester left of college and it would be foolish to drop out now. I couldn't care less about school or my job, I hate where I live and I have no one here who I matter to in any major way.
The only thing that doesn't suck is my boyfriend. This has led to me being very clingy and I know it needs to stop but I don't know how. He lives three hours away so I only see him every other weekend or so, but I get so anxious any time I'm not talking to him for more than a few hours and I drop anything and everything just to talk to him for a few minutes (on the phone, facetime, etc.). He actually has a life, and a job that doesn't totally suck, and friends, so obviously he doesn't spend all of his time talking to me. Honestly I don't even have anything to say half the time, I just want to know that he's still there and thinking of me. Its pathetic. I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | I don't care about anything except my boyfriend and it makes me clingy and anxious, but I'm going to lose him if I don't stop. Please help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I tell my ex-roommate that I don't want to hang out with her?
POST: Me: F, 21 Susan: F, 21
My freshman year of college I lived with a random girl. We were friendly, but not buddies, so she moved to a new dorm with her friends for sophomore year. I needed a new roommate, so I asked a girl (Susan) I had met a few weeks before the end of freshman year. I didn't know Susan well but she seemed nice and laid back and she needed a roommate too.
Living with Susan was awful. She was clingy and needy and I need my space — that's why I asked a near-stranger to be my roommate rather than a good friend. She was one of those girls who calls herself "real" and "honest" but really just has no tact. I started avoiding our room and Susan got super pissed at me, we had a huge fight. We patched it up for the last bit of sophomore year but I was not going to live with her again.
I moved in with some mutual friends of ours, still saw her occasionally since she was in our friend group, and all was fine. Flash forward a couple years and I'm getting married and moving to my fiance's home state and hometown. Guess what? Susan grew up 10 minutes from him and will be living there too. She's already contacted me and wants to be all best friend-y because I'm moving there. I just don't like her. Should I tell her I don't want to be friends? That sounds so mean. Just ignore her offers to hang out?
TL;DR: | Ex-roommate wants to hang out all the time because I'm moving to where she lives (coincidentally). I dont want to be her friend. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by tripping over a kid in a wheel chair then trying to be nice.
POST: Today reddit, oh today, I have a story that is making cringe hours afterwards.
To preface, there is a guy at my school who we'll call Sammy. Now Sammy is a pretty nice guy, but he has a neurological problem, making him have to use this motorized wheel chair everywhere. He is a pretty awesome guy, but I am not very close with him. More of a friend of a friend.
So I was leaving my last class, when I trip over him right in front of me, and I tumble over him. But me being a compete klutz is the least of it. Me, in my infinite wisdom didn't see who I tripped over and I didn't register for some reason and automatically said "Oh my god! I'm sorry, do you need help up-" And right then I realize who I tripped over.
Once I said it, everything was in slow mo for a second. I slowly saw as his confusion turned to hysterical laughter. I still apologized and shit, but he informed me afterward the only pain he was feeling was his sides after he got finished laughing at my dumb ass. I don't care if he laughed it off or not, I'm still cringing.
Thank god he has a sense of humor.
TL;DR: | Tripped over a kid with a neurological disorder in a wheelchair and asked him if he wanted help up, when he hadn't fallen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: I just rode 50 miles on my bike!
POST: So yesterday I decided to change my life. Break out of the circle of laziness. Since it was nice and sunny here in Seattle I went out with my cousin on Burke Gillman trail(27 mi). We started pretty easily because its fairly straight. Now the furthest we have ever been is to Kenmore from Seattle(14 mi). This time we kept pushing and pushing and pushing. We past Kenmore, Bothell, Woodnville, Redmond (where we had lunch break at an Indian restaurant.) We decided to finish the whole [circle] After lunch is the hardest part, we had to get back on I-90 to go back to Seattle. Luckily we found a nice half mile down hill and wide empty road. Once on I-90 trail there were some up hills but not much, we started taking more breaks and I actually walked my bike up one time too. We finally made it. I left home at 9:15 am and got back at 5:30 pm. My ass and legs and triceps are sore. But that's just an sign of my achievement.
TL;DR: | I biked 50 miles in 7 hours(8 with breaks), passed through six cities and my triceps, legs and ass are pretty sore. Thanks for all the motivation! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: x-post from r/TwoXChromosomes- I [22F] feel like an asshole for considering what I want in a relationship [23M]
POST: I [F, 22] have been with my boyfriend [M, 23] for about three months now (dated for almost that long before we became exclusively BF & GF and been friends for almost three years). Very early in the relationship he told he that he is completely inflexible on his stance of waiting until marriage to have sex (or anything more intense than making out, really) and I (withholding my discontent) said I would respect that. Some even more far removed back-story is that I stopped taking my birth control back in March of this year after having been on it constantly for about 9 years. My sex drive then could possibly have been in the negatives, and though I was upset about that, I thought it was normal for my body. Now here I am about 10 months later and I feel like a sex-fiend. I want to screw anything all the time. My hormones are so whack that I have a [dark line that runs down my belly] (No, I'm not pregnant. I haven't gotten laid since May-ish.) Anywho, I've just recently been offered several hook-ups and I'm heavily considering them. My boyfriend says he feels just as attracted to me and wants to help me out, but that would be against his principles. I'm starting to think I shouldn't get any more bogged down in this current relationship if I won't be getting what I want out of it. My man is fantastic and a beautiful person and more of a romantic than I ever knew anyone could be but I can't put what I want out of my mind and I can't put it on the backburner. Am I just being a dick?
TL;DR: | I want the D, but my amazing man can't/won't give it up. Thinking of breaking it off now before we get too invested. Would like advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Going on a trip with my class next year, any tips?
POST: So I am studying engineering in Sweden and my class has decided that we want to take a trip in our last year of upper secondary school (is it called that 16-19 years of age). We get some contributions from our school if we go somewhere and making a visit to a place where we can look at some new technology as well, like visiting the indoor ski resort in Dubai.
The only real suggestion we have had is Dubai, do you think this would be a good idea, what things are there to do for entertainment that will be? Everyone who is going will be 18 years or older.
Are there any other cool countries/cities to visit, as we live in Sweden the only real demand is that it should be quite warm as we are tired of the cold climate here.
TL;DR: | What is a cool place to visit with your engineering class (18 year olds), the place has to have some possibilities to make a technical related "field trip"? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If I beat a restraining order, can it take out a restraining order against me for the assault?
POST: So I just had a temporary restraining order taken out against me by my sister's ex-husband. I have no idea on what grounds he obtained the restraining order but it's clear he only did so because as of late I've been functioning as chauffeur for my sister (who doesn't have a license) when she needs to pick up her son from his house.
I know his intention is just to cripple her mobility and make her more dependent on him since she kicked his abusive ass to the curb. I have no money, no resources and according to the internets I'm very well fucked.
Now I may be a big scary looking guy but truth be told I've never thrown a fist without rolling 1D3 points of non-lethal damage first and I sure as hell couldn't muster a verbal threat with out tripping over my own tongue.
Just found out about the restraining order via my sister, still haven't received any paperwork.
What the fuck do I do?
*If there is anyone in the Milwaukee area who possesses a law degree or level IX wish that's interested in helping please, please throw me an email. Maybe I can do some landscaping for you.
TL;DR: | Um restraining order, need help....honestly if you can't read a couple paragraphs you should probably mosey on back to /r/pics. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [19/m] am considering to break up with my GF [19/f] due to her job as a model.
POST: I started dating this girl after we spent the New Year's Eve together this year. I've met her a few times before, and I was aware that she has done some modeling work in the past since her friend told me, but considering that almost anyone is a "model" nowadays, I didn't pay much attention and I pretty much told myself that I would try anyways. We hit it off and everything was almost too awesome until now. We've been dating for almost half a year now (I know it's a quite a short time when it comes to relationships) and I think I'm starting to stop wearing rose-colored glasses.
Basically, the problem is that I think I can't see how this could possibly work out. There is more than one layer to this and all the problems I think are on my part. From the start we saw each other maybe once, occasionally twice a week due to school (as we were both finishing high school and applying to universities) and I was hoping that we would see each other much more during the summer break. Unfortunately for me, her career is starting to lift off immensely and she's traveling left and right to go for castings, runway shows, photoshoots and such. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for her as she's really enjoying it, but if it continues to go like this and she will be going to foreign countries for 2 or 3 months like models usually do, I have no idea what to do.
Second problem for me is that I feel just subpar next to her. She doesn't make me feel like this intentionally, she's sweet and loving and I feel like she absolutely adores me the same way I adore her, but I was always a nerdy fugly child as I was growing up and I worked really hard for the image I have right now (whether it's style, physique, skin...) and because of that I developed an affection for fashion. I always wanted to work in that field and you might say I envy her a lot 'cause she was "born" a model and everything just comes to her (she was scouted, basically they came to her and asked her to be a model).
TL;DR: | Due to my self-esteem being shit and not being able to lead a LDR for a while I'm throwing away potentially perfect relationship. Any advices to either find a compromise or fix my approach would be appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] jealous/angry at my best friend [19M] for taking ex-gf to fraternity formal, am I overreacting?
POST: My group of friends are back home from college for winter break, and I just found out from a friend that my best friend took my ex to a fraternity formal this past year.
It's been almost a year and a half since the breakup (end of senior year in high school), but it was a REALLY REALLY bad breakup - nearly destroyed me. Got 3 c's that semester after being a straight A student in high school, cut off communications for a while, fucked up freshmen fall semester of college because still wasn't over it.
Am I overreacting to all of this? Right now, I am really angry more so than jealous because my best friend knows the kind of damage she did to me, won't get into specifics but she fucked me up pretty bad. I am confident that I'm completely over her now, but its just the fact that everyone in my friend group seemed to know except me, and I'm kind of too scared to ask more details about the night. My best friend and I tell each other EVERYTHING, was this something he just thought wasn't important?
TL;DR: | Best friend in high school took my ex-gf to his fraternity formal, don't know details of the night because too scared to find out, do I have a right to be mad at him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: HELP!!! Passport was accidentally donated this morning, my flight leaves Tuesday!
POST: So I arrived home at my parents house after an 8 hour drive and put my things by the front door. This year my parents decided to put a donation bin by the front door as well. I just found out that my mom put my backpack outside for donation pickup last Tuesday, so it is officially gone. This backpack had my passport, clothes, and all of my (replaceable) medicine. I have contacted the donation service, but they are closed since it is the day after Christmas, along with through the weekend.
I am supposed to be flying this Tuesday (Dec. 30th) from SFO -> Bangkok. I called the National Passport Agency in S.F. and the automated service said they are booked until the 31st, so i booked an appointment just in case all else fails. Is there anything that I can do to get a passport before I leave? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!
TL;DR: | Parents accidentally put my backpack and passport out for curbside donation pickup. Flight leaves Tuesday, nothing is open until Monday. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Don't know how to feel or act/respond...
POST: I (34m) have been with my wife (27f) for 7 years, married 6 years. We have a 2 and a half year old daughter.
Our marriage has had its rough times due to her emotional issues and mood swings. There were times when I wanted to give up on our marriage but wouldn't. Often when she got mad she would throw in my face that we shouldn't be together because she knew how much saying that hurt me.
I just found out that she has been taking pills excessively for nearly 2 years. I never had an idea nor thought she would do that. Drugs wasn't something in our life. We barley drink at at all, maybe 3-4 times a year. She's been lying about the money she made at work (she's a server and my second job is in a restaurant that the servers are doing poorly) and lying about where some of my money went (she often helped out her father which I never minded as he's always helped me out.
I was so insanely angry when I found out. I've been working two jobs and doing nothing but working to support my family and coming home spending time with my daughter. I haven't spent much time with my friends as my wife has been moody and needy for a while. I use to commit just Tuesday evenings to my friends (they are like family since I have no other family).
Since I found out on Sunday night I've been supportive about her going and she just left for the airport and is going to be gone for 28 days.
I don't know how to feel or how to act. I feel angry, hurt, and betrayed. Its not just in-regards to me but to my daughter too. I want to be angry and mad at her and want to tell her and make sure she knows about how hard its been because of her and this, how much pain and hurt and how much better my daughters life could have been. But at the same time I understand she's an addict, she is my wife, and I do love her.
I don't know where to go from here.....
TL;DR: | found out my wife has been taking pills excessively for 2 years; an emotional mess with conflicting feelings and don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my EX [17 F] 2 years, I can't stop thing about my ex and her new boyfriend having sex NSFW
POST: Basically me and my GF where together for 2 ears and loved each other a lot one day without really any warning she told me that because of the distance (we are sort of long distance more just mid distance but being in school only get weekends) that she felt like I was only her boyfriend on weekends and that she had started falling for another guy, anyway we broke up and about a week later she is with him. Now thats not what my problems is I am dealing with that and who knows maybe we will even get back together.
my problem is I cannot stop fantasising over her and her new boyfriend fucking and I imagine it constantly it both turns me on weirdly and makes me feel horrific inside as she is fucking someone else.
It has gotten to the point where I know he is round at 1:00 and I see her go off facebook for 1 hour then post something then go off again I just can't stop thinking that he has just fucked her (she used to most of the time check facebook whilst we where cuddling after sex).
I also masturbait to pictures of her she sent me from when we went out (nude) along with pictures of her and him together I know its wrong I just don't know how to stop.
I don't know how to stop it please help.
TL;DR: | Break up with 2 year GF she gets new BF and I can't stop imagining them fucking it both turns me on and makes me feel horrific. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by assisting a nasty old woman in publicly shaming a disabled boy.
POST: First off I'd like to say that I did not do this willingly and I am sickened by this woman's actions and the fact she involved me in it in the tiniest way. This happened earlier today while I was at work in a sweet shop, it really upset me and I feel badly sorry for her grandchild / whoever this kid she was looking after was.
She came in asking whether we had any sugar dummies, I got one for her and held it up like she asked so this mentally disabled boy sitting on the bench could see it, I stood there smiling at him holding this sweet up like I often do for other people who like to see what we have for them, he was a little shy, but everything seemed ok. Then she said something along the lines of "You see this? This is a Dummy. This goes in your mouth, to keep you quiet" at this point I thought, well thats a bit odd, sometimes people say things like this jokingly and it might be ok depending on their relationship. "And if you keep making that whining noise I'm going to get you one to shut you up". Yeah, she was publicly shaming a disabled boy to teach him a lesson. He wasn't making any noises when he came in, he only started to get upset when she said that. After that she looked at me and said "Ok thanks, I'm not buying it I just had to do that to stop him making that noise, its just been going on all day"
I feel disgusted, I get that you need to discipline and teach children, and that it might be harder if they're disabled in some way, but even if the kid doesn't have difficulties then you do not publicly shame them, and make me a part of it, just to "teach them a lesson". I wish that I knew what she was doing to begin with, I wish that I could've made her understand how disgusting she was acting towards this boy. I hope that this boy has better carers / family members than this bitch.
TL;DR: | I thought that I was helping a disabled boy by showing him a "Sugar Dummy", but instead his carer was using it and me as a way to publicly shame him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [26M] are in a relationship for almost 2 years. My religious family wants us to get married religiously!
POST: Dear reddit,
Me and my boyfriend are both raised in a religious family. He was raised catholic and I islamic. We both chose to lead our lives the atheist way. And we are happy with that choice :)
One day my stepmom told me that we should get married and become muslim. To which i responded with: Religion is a serious thing. People shouldn't pretend to have a certain faith if their heart doesn't believe. I can't lie to God/family/myself that i do believe, so i refrain myself from doing such.
To me that was the right answer and i hoped that she then would understand. Instead she tried to pitch her religion like a professional
salesman. Telling me: You can just say that you believe. Actually believing and acting on it will come later. If you don't we cannot give you our blessing and he will never be part of us.
After-hand my boyfriend and I talked this over. He told me that he can't imagine that my parents don't care if he is able or not to provide and take care of us. I assured him that my parents don't even care about his personality and only care about religion.
With this all said i don't know what to do. It feels like heavy choice to make. Being "religious", thus lying to myself what is against my personal principles or damaging my relationship with my parents.
Can anyone help me make a well thought choice? Why should I or shouldn't I? I would like to hear other perspectives than my own.
TL;DR: | Religious family pressure atheist couple to become religious and get married. Cross own personal principles or damage relationship with family? Please give me your opinion/insight with explanation! |
SUBREDDIT: r/books
TITLE: Can you help out with providing an Illinois classroom with new books?
POST: Hi r/books,
I promised myself I'd never ask Reddit for money or charity but I also never thought I'd have a case so close to me that wasn't already extensively funded and announced. I apologize if this is violating any rules but I was really hoping that my fellow redditors could help me out.
Full disclosure ahead of time, this is a friend of mine.
A friend of mine teaches at a small, high-poverty school in Illinois. She is having trouble getting books that her students are actually interested in. While they want to read, they are left without captivating material. I'm sure everyone in this subreddit knows that the more you read, the better you get, and the more you enjoy it but you have to start somewhere.
In order to get her students more into reading, my friend has started a [DonorsChoose] fund to supply her current and future classes with suitable and current reading material. Unfortunately her fund is not even close to completion despite an average, reasonable request and nearly 4 months of funding time.
Unfortunately she didn't tell me about it until just today. I've donated what I can but there's still over $400 dollars to go. Relative to her request of about $550, this seems large but I know Reddit can take care of this in no time if they decide it's a worthy cause.
Here's the link to the fund: [Make Reading Something Exciting!] I'm sure she would appreciate anything you can give (and I'll hand out any upvotes I can give ;) ). Even if you don't donate to hers, please take a look around the site. There are plenty of other projects out there that need help as well.
Thanks for your time.
-Skobe
TL;DR: | Teacher needs help buying new books for a high-poverty classroom. Can you donate at: [Make Reading Something Exciting!] Thank you. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22/M] am interested in a girl [22/F] I met last night at a small party I threw at my apartment.
POST: Me and my roommates had a little party last night (sat around, had drinks, talked, had music). They invited some people over (about 10-12) so everyone was either directly friends or close friends of friends.
I spent most of the party hosing, jumping person to person/mingling making sure everything was good so was generally busy.
Toward the end of the party when things started to settle down (~5 people left) I finally got the chance to talk to people in particular the girl I'm interested in. We were talking for a while, seeming to hit it off then the friend she came with came over and said they were going home. She told them that it is fine and that she was going to stay but then the rest of the people at the party kinda' got the same idea and started rounding up to leave so she did the same. So we walked everyone out, said bye to everyone, about 6 people at this point, and we kinda' held eye contact for a while as she was leaving and said bye.
Today I added her on facebook and have been thinking about sending her a message but am not sure what about. Should I just casually talk to her and ask her how she liked the party? I'd like to meet up with her again to get to talk to her/know her more so how should I go about that?
TL;DR: | met a girl at a party but was pretty busy most of the time and would like to get to know her better/trying to figure out what to message her on facebook. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: So, one of my friends anonymously confessed something to a christian help site, and is being blackmailed. tldr; Need Advice
POST: Throwaway account for obvious reasons. So, one of my friends who is a lurker on reddit, and is in a very sticky situation, and asked me to leave the story a bit vague in fear of anything else happening to him. He is a 17 year old living on the east coast of the US.
Basically, he admitted something horrible he had done in his past around two years ago anonymously, onto a christian website that was for confessions, and having people talk with you (again anonymously) in a thread to sort of help you through them. He's been in a moral battle for quite a while thinking about what he's done and feels horrible, but just had to tell someone what he did. A little later, a radio station tracked his IP back and got his ISP to release personal information. Trust me when I say, he's a good kid at heart, but just made a pretty big mistake.. and even worse by admitting it. Anyway, he received an email containing threats that they will call the police and report him if he doesn't have his parents and/or counselor call them at 7PM EST sharp tomorrow. If his parents/counselor do get involved, there is a high risk of the counselor calling the police, which would ultimately break his family apart. Since it's a radio station, and they want the call at 7PM SHARP, i'm thinking they might try and put some of it actually on the radio, which would ruin his life, and again, tear his family apart. If he tells his parents, equal consequences await. The only way I can think to get out of it has to be to plead with his counselor to keep everything confidential and be understanding, what advice would you offer him in this situation, with hours left before a shitstorm occurs?
TL;DR: | Friend confessed to an anonymous christian blog, was tracked via IP, and is now being blackmailed, in a horrible situation. Offer advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [26/F] Depression Troubles, Long Distance
POST: Background: The bf and I have been dating for about 6 months now. We live across the United States from each other, but we have so much in common that it makes it worth it. We've seen each other several times and make and effort to see each other at least every month and a half.
He has recently started to feel what seems like pretty severe depression. He feels worthless, like everything he does is a failure, and that nothing matters at all. He has lost the motivation to do much at all, including relationship things. He says he still loves me and wants the relationship so badly, but his depression is dragging him down. He says everything is a struggle for him, even talking to me.
To make matters worse, I wasn't helpful for the first month of this happening at all. I didn't realize he was depressed and we started arguing about why he wasn't behaving like he used to in our relationship: regular conversations, sexting, Skype, and other more personal stuff. It hit me about a month after all this trouble began and I asked him if he was depressed.
He said no at first, but after thinking about it he said he realized he was. It seems to have gotten much worse since then. I feel completely helpless to do anything for him. He isn't going to a therapist for various reasons.
What can I do? Has anyone had experience helping their depressed SO? Is there anything I can do when I'm so far away? I want to be there for him, but it's so hard when I can't be there physically. That, and I'm having trouble coping with his waning communication.
If anyone has any insight or ideas I'd be very grateful.
TL;DR: | SO is severely depressed and lives on the other side of the country. We only see each other every two months. Relationship trouble because of lack of motivation. What can I do to help him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [24m] and I [20x] need advice announcing our engagement?
POST: My boyfriend [24m] of three years/fiance of six months and I [[20x]] were postponing announcing our engagement since one of his cousins was getting married and we didn't want to steal her thunder. Alas, though, the time has arrived to suck it up and tell his family (I'm from a bad family situation and thus not really on good terms with my parents, so we won't be officially informing that side).
So far we've only let slip to one of my close friends, and to his brother. We thought we'd start by telling his parents in person since they live near by (we're both on a college campus about two hours from their house), but I for one am a little nervous about their reactions since we're young and still in school (don't have a date set for a wedding though, and not aiming for one for at least another two years), and also just coming from such a clan of volatile people, I'm in general not used to tactful behavior, and my mind keeps jumping to the worst possible reactions.
The Boyfriend assures me that his parents will be delighted by the news, and I definitely believe him on a logical level, but the illogical part of me is freaking out, and I feel like I need some more 3rd party reassurance. My questions, essentially, are:
**1)** Any tips for what to say and in what setting? I'm horrible with wording things nicely, and even worse if there's a group of people present.
**2)** Is there any legitimate reason I should be concerned about his parents reacting badly? I get along great with his family, and he and I have never yet had any particular relationship problems. (And no, they don't care if I'm a girl or a boy, and yes, our state would let us get legally married.)
**3)** Do you have any encouraging or amusing success stories of your own surrounding engagements/weddings that might sooth a poor paranoid suitor's nerves?
TL;DR: | Excessively nervous about getting a bad reaction from fiance's parents over our engagement since my own family is a bunch of douchebags. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, people who work in retail love to vent about terrible customers, but have any of you "made someones day/life"? I have, and it makes me love my job.
POST: So, I had a customer today that was obviously in a horrible mood. I'm pretty mellow and not much bothers me, so my end of the conversation was always cheerful. Our conversation went:
me: Hi! Did you find everything ok?
her: ya
me: Glad to hear it! Do you have a VIP card with us?
her: I don't know
me: I can check if your phone # is on file?
her: Im in a hurry
me: ok, well I'll just give you the discount this time and you can sign up
when you want to.
her: fine.
Me: (end of transaction and handing her the receipt) Thank you for coming in today! I hope to see you soon! :)
her: (sigh) you know, you're the first person that's been nice to me all day. I've been running errands since 9am, and people are fucking rude.
me: I know. I feel the same way when I go out. It's stupid. Like, maybe just try to have some manners. right?
her: Exactly! Thank you. Im sorry if I was rude.... its just been a long day.
TL;DR: | Sometimes customers are just having a bad day, and YOU can make a huge difference. We've all shopped somewhere before where the employees are truly douchebags. Just glad I'm not one of them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: 21f, might be in love with best friend?
POST: I don't know if I'm bisexual or not. I know I'm attracted to men, I always have been. But... I don't know. My best friend is so gorgeous. And she's so kind, and just generally wonderful. And I think I want to kiss her. I've never had my first kiss, but I think I'd want mine to be with her. I even have sexual thoughts about her sometimes. And well, I don't know - we had a big fight and I started breaking down and she asked me if I was in love with her, and all I could say was "I don't know" - since then, other friends of mine have told me that I wasn't in love with her so I told her that, but I think it's because they don't know the full extent of the story. I really want to make her happy because she makes me so happy... and I just want to hold her and be like a couple with her. I don't know. I'm scared, I don't want to be in love with her. But everything points to yes, right?
TL;DR: | I'm pretty much in love with her and I can't deal. I don't want to have sexual or romantic feelings for her. How do I make them go away? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23m) think I'm killing my girlfriends (23f) happiness
POST: For background. We've been together for almost 2 years. I'm a year behind her in life. We met in her senior year of school and dated long distance through my senior year as well.
The struggle: I am a TV reporter. I've known I wanted to do this job since I got to school. She is a very good marketing/advertising major who was working in Boston my senior year.
I got a job at a TV station in Lubbock, Texas. It's a small, not overly interesting place but I have always known I was gonna have to start somewhere.
My girlfriend and I talked long and hard before I got this job and agreed that her job was more portable and that we were serious about each other and wanted to be together. So she made and amazing decision to come be with me.
But I think she is miserable. She moved about 3 weeks after I got here, and I hadn't really made many friends by that point. My girlfriend is very needy time wise, and we've basically done absolutely everything together since she got here. The problem is that I can't sustain that all the time. I enjoy playing games occasionally, going to grab a drink with coworkers etc... And every time I do so, it feels like I've let her down. She doesn't actually say that, but she does seem upset and I always have to cleer he up afterwards.
I feel badly because I know how much she gave up to come here, but I also feel 100% responsible for her here. She hasn't made any friends. Her work isn't what she wants it to be, and she feels so down on herself lately.
I would love some advice to fix this situation... I love this girl and want to know if I'm letting her down, if I need to help her find more to do, or if I need to just let her be free? That last possibility makes me hurt so much, but I want her to be happy and I think she's already decided that she cannot be happy here.
/b/
TL;DR: | b/ girlfriend moved to be with me. She hasn't made a life here, how do I help her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [20 F] confront a (now ex) friend [20 F] about being emotional manipulative?
POST: So I recently had a major falling out with a best friend after realizing she was being emotionally manipulative. She's always had a very dominating personality. She progressively began to act as though I was her her "pawn" I guess I would say. She would constantly pressure me into doing whatever would benefit her. Things like convincing me to register for a class that she was also registering for that I didn't want to take, or guilting me into going out and drinking when I didn't want to. She would tell me things like "You know I almost got into a fight with someone over you." When I never asked her to defend me. She would send me texts at two in the morning telling me "she wasn't okay with" me hanging out with somebody. I have a pretty passive personality so I mostly went along with it for the better part of two years. She had crazy insecurities and would get jealous if I hung with people without telling her. Eventually her insecurities manifested themselves into personal attacks like sending me harassing and dramatic texts telling me "how I betrayed her" and I "DESTROYED a friendship with somebody who truly loved me". If i ever tried to bring up something she did that made me upset, she would turn it around and get angry with me. One time she sent a text to me on accident that she meant to send to another friend that send "Yeah fuck her whatever", after telling me that she cared about me. It was after that that I decided to remove myself from her. However, I never specifically told her how she made me feel for the better part of two years. I have all this pent-up anger towards her that I want to express, but I'm worried that confronting her will only inflame the situation and cause more heartache. I have an intense desire to have her understand how I feel, but I'm worried that confronting her will only make me feel worse. Should I let it go or try to get some form of closure?
TL;DR: | Was being emotionally manipulated. Not sure If I should confront her about the way she treated me or just free myself from her and let it go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my GF [23F] of 8 months: Is it okay to feel uncomfortable about hanging out with girlfriends past sexual partner?
POST: So my girlfriend slept with one of her college friends a couple years ago, and while they don't talk anymore, they are still part of the same friend group who occasionally get together. She asked me if I wanna hang out with her and her friends in a couple days, and he will be there. I feel like I wouldn't enjoy myself because of that, but I don't know whether or not it is normal for me to feel odd about it.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's past sexual partner is in her friend group and she wants me to hang out with him in addition to the rest of the group in a couple days, but I feel strange about it. Is that normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by refusing to lose a bet
POST: Today (couple months ago), I fucked up by taking a bet that I couldn't eat 3 whole habanero peppers.
So I'm hanging with some buddies and they were growing some peppers. We're drinking a couple beers and eventually this bet starts getting offered for a case of beer. Now, as a nicely indebted college student, I cannot say no to free beer. It's only 3 habaneros right? Nothing I can't deal with.
Wrong. I down those suckers and at first it seems pretty painless, even tastes good, then it hits. Pretty sure my tongue spontaneously combusted right there.
Friends are laughing their asses off while the tears are streaming. I run inside to find something to cool the inferno.
I find a half gallon of milk in the fridge, and the internal debate begins.
You see Reddit, I am lactose intolerant. Usually I can handle dairy in small doses, but the need for relief won out and I chugged that whole jug.
Fast forward about 25 minutes. I am sitting on the pooper, still in quite a lot of pain and do not leave that porcelain throne for the next four hours.
The feeling that I was going to give myself the dreaded pink sock was not pleasant. Thankfully my colon remained inside me and I got a free case of beer to recover with.
TL;DR: | Ate habaneros. Lactose intolerant me drank a half gallon of cow's milk. No relief. Sat spewing fiery hot dairy shits for 4 agonizing hours. Free beer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I'm suffering. What do you do/have done to get over grief?
POST: I have had an Amazonian parrot for the past few years. He felt like family; he flew, spoke, played and was calm when he needed to be. Today, the dog (big dog) opened the door and the parrot flew out. He's always been afraid of the outdoors so it was never an issue, but all of a sudden... boom. He flew far. Out of sight within moments. We've been searching all day but no luck, and we've let all vets and humane societies know. Breeder says if he's not found by sundown, he'll either freeze to death or be killed by hawks.
I can't stand the feeling of an innocent baby animal being so helpless in the wild because of irresponsibility.
What can I do to feel better? I have exams and I just cant bring myself to do anything but sulk.
TL;DR: | Parrot flew away and can't be found. He won't make it through the night. Feel like absolute shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Puppy whining SOS
POST: We have a 9 week old toy poodle.
We both work full time so have had someone come in at lunchtime to play with her, just be with her etc. At the moment we are out 8-6, so she doesn't get longer than perhaps 5 hours alone before our dog sitter comes. However, eventually we will have to wean her off the dog sitter and she will have to go the whole hog unaccompanied. (FYI; she is using potty pads because we live on the 15th floor. She has a play pen with bed and pee pads separately, so doesn't need to be taken out to pee).
We downloaded the "dog monitor" app to check on her while we are at work. (Worried parents alert!) checking it every hour or couple of hours, she is often whining, screaming and barking. Not all the time, but I thought this would subside about 20-30 mins after we left the house in the morning.
Also, for the times when she's not yelling, she's just sleeping. I know that puppies need to sleep a lot more than we think, but I'm concerned that she has zero interest in any of her Kong toys, IQ puzzle balls, chew toys etc. She literally doesn't touch any of them, and this worries me because we don't want her to be bored while we are out but she doesn't help herself by ignoring all the things we have!
Does anyone have any tips or advice about this?!
TL;DR: | puppy being a whino all day on and off while we are at work. When not screaming, is just sleeping - disinterested in Kong toys, puzzle toys etc. Help!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M/F] with my Girlfriend [17 M/F] 9 months, Long distance
POST: So I met this girl online and fell in love with her. Head over heels. She always on my mind.
Well. I asked her if she would be in a long distance relationship with me about 9 months ago. She said yes.
Well the other day I realized that I had never seen a full body picture of her so I go on facebook and look at her pictures and I see one. Shes chubby. I am not shallow at all.
But I feel.. Cheated? Because she had only been sending my selfies and I assumed by her face that she was a little chubby..
But when I saw her picture she is a lot more than I thought she was. I guess it just bothers me that I kinda had to learn this myself? I still love her very much and I find her attractive.. But.. Why am I upset?
TL;DR: | I found out that my long distance SO is chubby. How do I get passed this? Because I love this girl. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21 F] roommate/good friend[22 F] is driving me absolutely insane with her coughing. Please help me not murder her.
POST: My roommate and I have been good friends for 3 years, and we're now in our senior year of college and almost done (finally!). We moved in together at the start of this year, and she's been the best roommate I've ever had. However, lately she's been sick and coughing in this odd pattern (3 distinct coughs every 19-15 seconds) and when she isn't coughing because she's asleep, she's snoring. This is only a problem because she's sick, I know, but it's driving me up a wall.
I've been getting increasingly angry with any time she coughs, and it's to the point that I can't sleep in our room because her coughing makes me so irrationally angry, and the noise just keeps me up. She has been making NO effort to stop her coughing (no tea, honey, cough drops or any of the home remedies, no cold medication) and she also isn't even apologetic about how persistent her coughing is.
I know this isn't a usual /r/relationships problem, but I'm going absolutely insane, and I don't want to have to sleep on the couch to get a decent sleep. I know it isn't her fault, otherwise I would definitely call her out on it. How can I not allow myself to be driven insane like this and make sure to preserve our friendship?
Just a note about our living situation: we live in a small house in a college town, and we share the larger of two bedrooms, and a third girl lives in the other bedroom in our house alone. We have a living room with a decently almost comfy couch, where I can still hear her coughing, but it's a little bit quieter.
TL;DR: | Roommate is coughing/snoring non-stop and it makes me want to murder her. How can I control my rage and not be bothered by this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] crushing on waiter [19M], I don't know what steps to take next
POST: I'm 18 and I've never even had a boyfriend. It is pretty sad actually. I've never gone past the flirting stage. I'm totally clueless and don't know what to do next. I was a very shy person, and social interaction is still nerve-wracking for me.
So I know his first name and age, and when he works. I know this by asking on of the other waitresses. I'm white, and he is Korean-so I don't know if there will be any cultural boundaries. I don't even know if he likes white girls.
I'm going to go to the restaurant he works at tonight, and I know he will be working tonight. I will be going with some friends. I've been to the same place five different times in the last month, sometimes with friends-sometimes with family.
What should I do? I feel kind of stupid asking for this, but I'm pretty stunted relationship-wise. Should I leave my number? Try and find out if he is on any social media sites? I don't know what to do...
TL;DR: | I'm totally new to dating/flirting and I haven't ever really gone past this stage before. Any help on the next step? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I've always been a loner, to a degree. But not like this.
POST: I don't really know how to deal with this anymore.
I've always felt like I didn't belong, ever since I could remember. I'm the kind of person that only has a few close friends, and girls never really paid any attention to me other than to make fun of me. There was a turning point for me in high school, my second year in. I was succeeding in the sports that I played, landing in the varsity team in a competitive area. Girls started to talk to me, I didn't know how to handle it because of the previously stated reason. Self esteem was starting to pick up. I met a particular girl that latched onto me and we started dating. I found out that she had a rather abusive home, and devoted myself to showing her how great life could really be. My parents hated her.
Fast forward a few years, past her cheating incident and my immediate family's move across the country. I moved with her to Portland, Oregon. I've never seen this place before, and now I'm paying rent in a crappy apartment in order to get a foothold here. After a few months of depression due to the lack of close friends besides her and the job being minimum wage, she breaks it off due to me not "doing enough to make her feel wanted". Within a week, she's seeing another guy.
I've moved out, and now have a much better job/career. But my social standing is worse. The one friend I had made in my minimum wage job moved to Alaska and previously mentioned girl broke my heart. I'm living in a university housing situation at the moment, but I don't get along with these people very well. I don't like weed, excessive drinking, or casual sex. The few people I've had interaction with just keep me at arm's length, and seem to enjoy all the above.
TL;DR: | Had serious relationship invested one way too early with wrong person, moved away from everybody I care about, said person broke up with me in new city where I know nobody. Cue crippling loneliness for months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21M) & Gf (23F) of 2 months, told mom (53F) about gf, mom treats gf like air, there's still 2 weeks left for them to see each other everyday. Help.
POST: First time posting on reddit, english not first language, also on mobile, my apologies for format.
They see each other everyday, mom doesn't acknowledge gf existence since day 1 they met. Its been 18 days since then and there's still 14 days left to go. Also it's going to be a long distance relationship starting mid November. Gf might not come visit due to how my mom treats her and I can't really go to the country she is in due to family and military issues.
Question being how to deal with mom? Its stressing me and gf out & also my relationship with my mom isn't really that good to have nice talks.
TL;DR: | mom treats gf like air, its pissing me off & stressing me n my gf out, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Dogtraining
TITLE: Dog aggression questions (x-post from r/dogs)
POST: Hi Reddit,
My wife and I just (today) rescued a 10-month old lab/beagle mix who is showing unusual behavior we were hoping we could get some insight on.
We previously had a lab who passed away about a month ago who had aggression issues with other dogs (kill or be killed mentality) and we fear somehow re-creating those habits with this dog.
About the rescue: The humane society said they found her with a jug over her head (as though they caught her in the middle of fetching something out of it or someone put it on her head). She's very timid around males, so we know there was some abuse. Whenever I raise my hand, she cowers. The trainer there told us that she's very submissive to other dogs, and we saw this for ourselves tonight, but then she did something that surprised us.
We brought her over to a friend's house who has a beagle. When they met in the front yard (both loose-leashed) our dog rolled over on her belly to submit to the beagle. We then went inside and they got along, sniffing each other, licking etc. Our friend then brought out treats to reward them, and the friend's dog ate his and approached our dog (not to steal her treat but to play). Our dog snapped at him, so we corrected her. She didn't seem interested in the treat so we took it away so it was no longer an issue.
From that point on, she was not friendly with our friend's beagle. Snapping at him once, showing teeth when he got close in another situation. She stayed away from him for the rest of the night, as did he (our friend's dog) since he was scared.
So my questions: By our taking the treat away, did our dog think the beagle took it and then she had it out for him? Has anyone seen this behavior before? How would you go about correcting this?
TL;DR: | Our rescue today snapped at a friend's dog after initially being submissive and playful. Was aggressive the rest of the night (two hours) after our friend's dog got near her treat. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Reddit, I'm a college student and I have no idea what I want to do with my life.
POST: Like the title says, I'm a student going into my 3rd year, meaning I need to declare a major pretty much ASAP. Right now, my declared major is Criminal Justice and I've taken a major-related class for it already. That said, I enjoyed the class but I'm not so sure that I want to stick with it because I don't have any interest in becoming a cop. Working with some type of agency would be awesome but it seems very difficult, especially in the current job market, to find an opening in one.
I also am minoring in History because that is what I wanted to do before C.J. I feel that it'd at least be a decent backup in case I wanted to go into teaching or anything of the sort.
I've looked into majoring in Communications because it seems like a fairly straightforward degree that would be acceptable for most job positions. The only thing that scares me is the average salary for Com. majors. I've been looking for something that interests me but I also want something that would entail me being financially secure down the road.
I basically need to figure my shit out within the next few weeks as I'll be starting my upper level courses and don't really want to be going to school any longer than I have to.
TL;DR: | Not sure what I want declare major in, currently is Criminal Justice but have been considering other options, and I need to figure it out asap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19M] wondering what I should do about [18F] upcoming birthday
POST: So I am [19M] wondering what I should do about [18F] upcoming birthday. We have been seeing each other for about 2 months and have been dating for maybe a bit less then one. She is a year younger and turning 19 in 3 weeks. Where I live, this also means she will be legal to drink. I have a few main concerns about her upcoming birthday: Who should I ask for advice on a gift? Is there a price range that I should consider? Sadly, I will be away in another country during her birthday, what should I do about this?
For a gift, I was considering asking a friend of hers for some advice. If this is a good idea, I narrowed it down to 2 people. Her best friend that knows everything about her. She lives across the country but they have weekly phone calls. I know who she is, and she knows who I am but we don't really know each other so I was thinking that it could be a little weird to ask. Then there is also a couple really close friends of hers who I know better and have talked to on multiple occasions.
I don't mind spending money but what would be too much?
I will be away from 7 days before until 3 after. How does this affect things?
I was planning on taking her to dinner along with the gift. Is there a way I should organize this? Dinner before I go, gift after? I won't be getting much time to shop while I am away but I would like to get her some sort of souvenir too. Any info that you may have would be greatly appreciated and I am more then happy to provide any additional info that you may want. Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading your thoughts!
TL;DR: | I have a few concerns about my SO upcoming birthday concerning what to get, a price range and what to do about me being away for it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] needs dating advice. Crush is [17F]. I don't know what day is good to set a date "in stone".
POST: Title can be misunderstood, sorry, I suck at titles...
Basically, we've already agreed to go on a date this weekend 2 days ago, but we didn't agree on *what* to do.
I know, it's normally not something good to do, but we wanted to go to the movies and there wasn't shit that interested us.
So, I'm pretty sure it's just me overthinking things, but I'm wondering when exactly should I bring up the topic again, this time knowing what to do on the date, obviously.
I want to do it today, but I don't know if it's too soon? Keep in mind, I'm a completely new in the dating department, so I'm trying my best not to fuck up in a stupid way hahaha.
And, another question...I have no fucking idea what to do on the date.
Eating something somewhere sounds lame in my head, going to the beach (which is nearby) sounds okay, but idk if it's good for a first date, and my knowledge of the city I live in is fairly limited.
TL;DR: | Is today a good time to set a date in stone, if said date is during the weekend? Also, what could be a good thing to do on a date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My slimy roommate stole naked pictures off my computer. What can I do?
POST: I left my laptop at home while I went out of town to visit my family for Christmas. When I returned, I was able to login without a password. Feeling a little paranoid, I checked "Recent Places" and lo and behold: every single folder of my private images had been opened just three days prior. Not only that, but he created a temporary folder ("Temp Pics") and presumably saved my photos. Because he shared his password with me, I was able to verify that "Temp Pics" was on his computer's Recent Places only an hour and a half after it was created on my laptop. Unfortunately the folder was created and accessed on an external drive, which I can't find.
Some additional information that might be useful:
- At least half of the photos were taken when I was underage.
- My roommate sells drugs. He keeps them in the house, though, and sometimes sells from here. Will that incriminate me, as well?
As of now, my best idea is to confront him in front of our other two roommates, inform him that I know of the situation and demand the external hard drive. Hopefully the threat of underage pictures, lawsuits, and the threat of mentioning his little operation will be enough to scare him into coughing it up without a fight.
What can I do? What rights do I have here? What should I be wary of going into this? Please help me figure this out.
TL;DR: | My roommate located naked pictures of me and all signs point to him saving them to his external hard drive. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Reddit, help me get over my first kiss
POST: Okay Reddit, let me preface this text by saying it is extremely embarrassing to even type this up, and sounds extremely childish. Regardless of your opinions on the matter, I'm sure I could use your help.
I am a 16 year old male and a sophomore in high school. I believe I am above average in terms of attraction, but am by no means all that. Although that may not seem relevant, in my self conscious and self depreciating mind, it seems quite relevant to me. *The reason I feel that my attraction is important, is mainly due to that I have no problems whatsoever finding a date. I do, however, have a problem with kissing.
For various reasons, there was no real chance for me to date anyone until I started high school, meaning I still had not had my first kiss till last year. I dated a very attractive lady last year who was seemingly perfect for me. We went out shopping one day and everything was going swell until I decided it was time- I went in for the kiss. andddddd.......Fail. Epic Fail. I don't even know what happened it was so awkward my brain blocks out the memory.
It was so bad and I was so embarrassed the relationship just died out after a few weeks. I didn't try to kiss her again. The problem is, now that I have a new girlfriend I am terrified to try to kiss her. We have been going out for almost 2 weeks but we have still yet to make out or kiss other than a peck on the cheek. I have no experience with kissing and would like any and all input on a way for me to get over this huuuuuuge fear of kissing before it gets to be too late and she thinks I don't like her. God this is embarrassing. Reddit, any input would be much appreciated.
TL;DR: | I am somewhat attractive and find no problems getting dates/girlfriends, but am terrified of kissing due to a terrible terrible first experience. Please help me before I ruin another relationship*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: So I finally take advice to be forward with a guy, and HE ends up being fickle with ME. Help :(
POST: There's a guy I've known for about a year (I work with him), and I'd say we're pretty close as far as coworkers go. He's always by my side at work, we get a lot of crap from coworkers (asking if we're dating, why aren't we together yet, etc). Anytime we go out together we usually end up hugging all over one another or just playfully flirting etc. So I finally took it upon myself to tell this guy I had a crush on him. His response was "Haha, -- you're so cute." I kind of expected him to reciprocate the feelings if he had any or to reject me if he didn't. Is this guy just not interested in me? I don't want to press the subject anymore as to not seem like a creep.
TL;DR: | I thought a guy had a mutual fondness for me so I told him I liked him. His response was "haha you're so cute." What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not checking if my headphones were really in.
POST: This was, like most TIFU's, yesterday. Just thought I'd mention that.
Anyway a little backstory, I'm a quite guy who doesn't talk much in the lesson, and one of my worst fears is being the centre of attention of a large crowd (done with making a speech etc, but if it is something embarrassing I get extremely hot and start sweating).
So we had a substitute teacher (let's call her Mrs Jenkins and it was the last lesson, and like always someone asks to listen to music. Since we were just copying notes from a textbook and Mrs Jenkins thought we were very well behaved compared to other classes, we were allowed. Here comes the fuck up. I take my phone out my pocket with the headphones already plugged in from the car, and without thinking too much about it I put my headphones in, turn on my Lumia and quickly play the music from where I left off.
"You wonder why they call you bitch, you wonder why they call you bitch, I betcha."
Everyone slowly rotates their heads to me, and naturally my anxiety kicks in and I fumble around trying to pause the music, and end up knocking my phone over onto the (carpeted, thankfully) floor. Finally I stopped busting them tunes, but then everyone started laughing for three minutes straight. Literal non stop laughter. Mrs Jenkins didn't even say anything, because she thought I was a 'good' boy who wouldn't listen to rap music.
TL;DR: | shy boy with social anxiety ended up not plugging in headphones fully and showing the entire class the art of tupac's music. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by drinking moonshine
POST: I wrote this last week on Monday but didn't get to post it until now:
Last night I watched the CFP championship (I am a student at Clemson) with a few friends in our dorm. I wasn't sober when we started which is probably the reason for my FU. My friend told me to help him finish his moonshine and beer. Throughout the game I had about 6 beers and apparently a *lot* of moonshine. This was incredibly strong stuff and we were drinking it straight, super gross. The last thing I remember was throwing up over the side of my lofted bed. Upon waking up at 7:00 am I was greeted with a huge mess and an incredible hangover. There was vomit everywhere. On my bed, comforter, and sheets. On the chair that was right below my bed and all over the floor. Super gross. Somehow I managed to get *zero* of it on myself. I wasn't able clean it at that time because I had class at 8 am. The rest of the day was spent incredibly hungover and trying to remember what exactly happened.
TL;DR: | I drank beer and a lot of moonshine, tossed the cookies in my dorm room, and had little recollection of it the next morning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24/F] with my BF [25/M] of two years, something happened yesterday that was weird and I feel really awful. But I don't know exactly WHY I feel this way?
POST: So, to preface this, we live in Boulder, CO. Everyone here is really fit, and it's really common to see people in workout clothing everywhere this time of year. It's just a fact of life here.
That being said, I had been to yoga that a.m. and still had my tights on. It was getting dark, so I had a sweatshirt with me, but otherwise I had on a longer tank top and my yoga tights. So we're at a brewpub and I'm running our empties back and bringing our new ones since they're slammed and I didn't want the bartender to have to wait on us...and when I get back to the table, he grabs the bottom hem of my tanktop and, like, yanks? it down really hard over my butt and makes a really annoyed noise. I'm like, wtf? What just happened? And he says "Oh, if one more guy stared at your butt I was gonna punch someone..."
0_o
What? WTF? Nothing like this has ever happened the entire time we've been together, and I've always dressed like this. Why does this feel so gross/weird when I think about it? Like, I don't want to hang out with him for a while I'm so weirded out by this.
So why does this suck and what do I do? Can I talk to him about this?
TL;DR: | Bf got weirdly...posessive? about my body in public. This fucking sucks. Why does it suck though? And what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] am struggling with my boyf [20M] because I'm not over someone else
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. I love him a lot and we have had an amazing time up until now but I'm starting to feel a bit restless in the relationship, almost as though I'm not IN love with him. I'm not sure whether I've just gotten comfortable and it can be worked on or if this is showing we're actually incompatible.
For me, the above isn't worrying as such because I believe it will work itself out. What worries me is that I'm not over another guy (let's call him Jay) and I believe this could be contributing highly to my restlessness. I started talking to Jay 5 months before I met my boyfriend. We met online and were talking everyday for four of those months, and then one day we suddenly stopped talking. I started seeing other people because I knew it would take me a lot to get over Jay, and I tried to push him to the back of my mind but these days I almost can't stop thinking about him. Although we have each other on social media we're pretty much entirely out of contact, and because we stopped talking so abruptly I feel like I haven't had 'closure'.
I guess what I'm looking for is advice on how to get over this elusive internet guy and to focus on mending my relationship with my boyfriend, because I feel like I'm not being fair to him!
TL;DR: | Relationship of 8 months has lost its spark, possibly because I can't get over a previous short internet relationship. How do I get over internet guy?!?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (21/M) Me and her (22/f) have a long distance relationship. I feel like my GF doesn't feel the same way for me like she used to but she still tells me she loves me and wants to have a future with me even when I don't sometimes receive a text back from her in a few days. Super confused
POST: I live in Europe and she lives in South America and last time we saw each other was 4 years ago but in that time we have been very connected and the last 1 year we started being a couple. The long distance thing is difficult but we know we won't cheat on each other. We talk almost every single day and we always talk about our future, our future kids, house, where we will live, how we will merry and that we will never leave each other's sides. I've never felt so strongly about any girl and I feel like she is the one but recently after she got a new job she has only had about 3 hours if her own free time and sometimes doesn't send me a message back or call for 3 days but when we do talk we still talk about out further and how we will never leave each other. More frequently she has been having these days when we don't talk and I have no idea what to think. Does she still have the same feelings? It really hurts tje heart when she doesn't reply or day anything for 3 days and you know it's not hard to send a text in 2 sec saying good night or good morning. I feel like there is hope because like I said when we do talk it's like we always talk. Anyone know why she is doing this? I tried asking her but she always turns the subject or ignores it. Hope someone might make things clear
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I used to be super close and I felt her live but now I feel like it's fading and she doesn't feel tje same like before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girlfriend of 2 years just broke up with me. Any advice?
POST: She's 20 and I'm 21. We lived together this last year and have been together for 2 years. Shes my bestfriend. I enlisted in the AF and have been gone for 6 months now. I am getting stationed 3 hours away from home and come home in 2 weeks.
She said she tired of it. My jealousy, the long distance, our age, she's not ready. She's tired of all the stress and worry. She has two jobs and is going to school.
She said she still loves me and wants to see me when I come home. She wants to still be friends. She doesn't want this but she too unhappy. It's hard seeing me go and having to do all this long distance.
I don't know what to do. How should I go forward with this? Should I keep talking to her? Wait for her to talk to me? I just don't know. I don't have much faith though. God this sucks
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of two years just broke up with me because of long distance and other factors. Looking for pointer and advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] and my girlfriend [25 F] finally see eachother again after almost a year. And we both are slightly anxious.
POST: Hey everyone!
So, one and a half year ago I met this girl. We met through mutual friends. We always had an eye on eachother but noone of us dared to make a move although we met quite regularly (but always in company with our friends). Almost a year ago, she had her goodbye-party since she was leaving Europe (where I am from) to go study in America. At that party we finally kissed and I stayed over night.
We have texted every single day from her departure until today. At first it was pretty much only smalltalk, but over the time we started talking about feelings, expectations and how much we miss each other actually although we weren't really dating by the time she left. Up until the point where we declared this as an actual relationship and started organizing a trip for me to come to visit her in America.
This trip is coming up next week and we both feel VERY excited, but also a little bit anxious. We will spend 2 weeks very close together, since I am staying at her place, but we are also going on a trip together. Most of the time is planned for activities like going the zoo or the theater or such things, the rest is reserved for cuddling. We talked a lot about what we expect and we are on the same page of all the things we talked about. Still we are worried that the time we have won't be as great as we anticipate. Now I just don't know what to make of it.
TL;DR: | Meeting my girlfriend for the first time in a year of long distance relationship which developed during the time we were seperated. Kind of worried about what to expect. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I keep binge eating. Like once a week. Can't figure out why I'm so weak.
POST: I've been trying to lose weight for a while. I was around 197 near the beginning of this year. The lowest I've been since is 173 pounds. This morning I weighed 185, up like 10 pounds from before I binged last night.
My problem is that I've been binge eating. It's gotten to the point where I seem to binge once a week. I usually try and fast until dinner the next day to make up for it, but lately I've been eating something at lunch the day after.
I can't talk about this with anyone, and I apologize if this isn't the forum for me to say this.
I need to figure out how to stop losing control so completely or I'll wind up right back around 200. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
I feel fucking weak and pathetic. I'm a 20 year old guy and I spend my days stressing about how I look and trying to diet. I try and stay positive but I get disheartened a lot by my lack of progress.
Sorry for the rant. If this isn't loseit material I'll delete the post.
TL;DR: | I think my binges were the result of excessively severe calorie restriction and getting depressed and down on myself for not losing weight quickly enough. Moving forward I'm going to accept slower weight loss and avoid beating myself up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (18F) am getting back together with ex boyfriend (20M) that I cheated on and need to apologize to his family.
POST: We started dating when I was 15 and he was 17 and continued to date for over 2 years, until a few months ago when I wasn't happy in the relationship and cheated on him with a close friend of mine. I broke up with him right away and a lot of drama happened. I started dating the close friend and recently broke up with him.
My ex and I have started talking again and after a lot of consideration have decided to get back together and not make the same mistakes as last time. We know what went wrong and know now what to do/not to do.
When I cheated and broke his trust, I hurt his family a lot too. After being together for so long, I became extremely close with his family and spent much more time with them than my own family. The hardest thing about getting back together is facing his family again.
Tonight, we're having dinner with his family and we both decided it would be best to have a sort of "family meeting" so I can sit down with them and apologize and explain myself. I'm really nervous because I'm shy and have a hard time talking about my feelings. His family is the opposite, so it's extra hard.
I'm basically asking what I should say to them during this apology. Please upvote and answer since this is tonight and I don't have much time!
TL;DR: | I need help figuring out what to say and how to apologize to the family of my ex boyfriend that I cheated on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22F] SO [27M] tends to make slightly inappropriate jokes around my conservative family
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half, and I love him dearly. However, he tends to make off-color jokes around my family and friends, which I'm worried will make people uncomfortable. My family is a bit more traditional and conservative than my boyfriend and our friends. For example, my boyfriend and I drink a good bit; my family does not. Often when he's around my family he makes jokes about getting drunk, etc. My boyfriend's family is very different from mine, so I imagine it's hard for him to understand the standards of propriety in my family.
My family has never mentioned it, and they all seem to like my boyfriend very much. However my sister is getting married in a week, and he will be meeting my entire extended family at the wedding. They are also fairly conservative by our standards, and I don't want him to say anything that could potentially scandalize them. I've already warned him to not drink too much at the reception and not to draw attention to his drinking. I don't know how to suggest that he censor his jokes a bit more without making him feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I'm sure he is already nervous about meeting my extended family and I want him to be as relaxed as possible. Is there a way to tell him to act a bit more polite and proper without offending or embarrassing him?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend will be meeting my (conservative/traditional) extended family in a week. How can I tell him to ease up on the crass jokes without making him feel bad? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M with my girlfriend [21 F] everytime i try to break up with her i feel like i get even more trapped
POST: Ive been with this girl for 3 years, i just dont feel the spark anymore. I want out plain and simple, that doesnt mean i dont feel like or feel like i'll miss her, but in the long run i know this isnt for me. I tried breaking up with her yesterday, at first she told me to leave but as i was packing my stuff she broke down and cried, saying stuff like "you're my best friend, i dont know what ill do without you" things a long those lines. So an hour or two passed with her blocking the door saying she doesnt believe anything im saying and knows this isnt the end for us, and knows i still love her. I told her repeatedly that we were wasting each others time and i dont feel like there is anything here anymore. She kept saying it's too much to walk away from and she feels the same way but knows it can be fixed, she said something along the lines of "i wish every day i could feel the same way i did about you 3 years ago". She is a burn survivor who has scars 80% on her body and has massive anxiety from it, i feel like a caretaker and i know im a big reason se can cope through life. Basically the attempt ended with her blocking the door until i said i would give it one more try, but i cant shake the feeling i know its pointless. Sorry reddit, i know the answer is simple, but i just need to vent. I don't have many people i can talk to anymore about this, I have my best friend, but he's never been in a serious relationship and can't understand the situation.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend insists things can be fixed, my gut is telling me i want to break up. Keeps me in the house long enough for me to doubt myself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife and I[23M/F] have a neighbor[83M] who's wife is dying of cancer. How can we help them?
POST: So my wife and I just got married a few months ago(together for 8 years before that, including a 2 year engagement). We move in to our first home together after the honeymoon and get settled in. I am full time military with very long hours and wife is full time masters student at the local university.
When we met this neighbor, we both walked away thinking that this was the nicest old man we have ever met. We have built a relationship with him since living there. He helps us with everything from borrowing tools to giving pointers on gardening etc etc. Any time I'm mowing the lawn, he will come outside to just chit chat with me for a while. He always says, "I love helping young folks with anything you need as long as you promise to pass it on when you're old like me." We even made some banana bread for them one time.
He says his wife(not sure of age, but they have been married 49 years) has already beaten cancer once, ~30 years ago. Since they are so far along in life, they are not treating it this time because it would be too harsh on her body and would rather just enjoy life while they can. She stays inside for obvious reasons, have only seen her a couple times.
Starting about a month ago, all kinds of different people/cars would be coming to their house bringing flowers etc. I left for a couple weeks on an assignment, getting back this week and he is always gone now. We assume his wife in the hospital because his car usually never leaves the house besides maybe a few times a week. This week he's constantly coming and going and spending a lot of time out.
So my question is: this awesome, super nice, old man would do anything for us youngins and we feel that we need to give back and help him as he goes through this. I don't want to get in the way of anything or make him feel any worse than he already does. How can my wife and I help him?
TL;DR: | wife and I believe neighbor's wife is going to pass soon(cancer) and we want to help him in some way without making it worse or getting the way. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] mother [56F] treats my brother [25M] like he is her husband.
POST: I felt the need to start a discussion about this. I'll keep it as succinct as possible. I had the realization today that my mother treats my brother like this. To my knowledge there has been nothing sexual going on. It seems to make sense...
Parents divorce when children are at a young age. First born son becomes "man of the house"...
Mother never had the self-esteem to pick the right person for herself, doesn't try again. Depression runs household. Kids grow up in daycare, firstborn takes on responsibility to help raise younger sibling (me). Mother has passive-aggressive, guilt tripping behaviour due in part to being raised that way, another part due to the depression.
Firstborn is raised as her assistant, later in life becomes her only companion, doing husband-like activities with her, tasks for her...
Fast forward to now: mom keeps referring to her and my brother as "we"... calls him "hon"... only started doing that about a year ago, she's only ever called her SO's that. The few she's had.
My stomach is turning even writing this.
This realization has disturbed me greatly. My brother has been so depressed for so long. Has never had a girlfriend, is well passed the age to start that kind of thing. Seems to only hang out with my mom.
He was fighting it for a long time, now it seems like he's accepted it. The guilt is holding him prisoner, but he has always been completely innocent.
I don't know how to tell him what I see. Or if I ever should. I doubt my mother understands what she's done.
I want to set him free... he's my best friend.
TL;DR: | my brother has a mommy dearest relationship and doesn't stick up for himself to my mom because she manipulates him with guilt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [DISCUSSION] Can my dog get too much exercise?
POST: Hello! I have a BC/Corgi mix. She's about a year and a half old. Super high energy.
I have her go to the beach 3 times a week with a "doggy adventure" group. They take a number of dogs out to play together. She gets picked up at around 9am and she comes home at around 4pm. Although beach time is usually only about 2-3 hours, it's usually a very intense few hours. Filled with lots of running, chase, and play. I have a fitbit type tracker and she definitely gets lots of intense running in during that time.
She comes home pooped.
I have her go for a calming one hour walk the other 2 days of the week while I'm at work. And a walk, play or park when I get back. And weekends are filled with going to the dog park, the regular park, walks and/or play.
The doggy adventure group asked if I wanted to go the two other days and she'd match my hour long dog walker's price. I'm afraid 5 days a week might be a little too tiring for her. I mean, she is a working dog so I figure it might be fine once she gets use to it but...
If she gets use to it... would this also cause problems later on? Say I move away from the area and no longer have access to something so highly intensive? I don't want her to get destructive later on if I can't provide her the same amount of exercise. If I have a child later in life and become a stay at home mom. I can definitely play with her and take her out but it'll never be the same as running around at full speed with other dogs for a couple hours.
TL;DR: | Can a BC mix get too much exercise? Even if not would this be a problem later on if I can't provide the same amount of exercise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: Please offer some advice on how I can stop fantasising about having sex with my male friends? (X-Post r/AskWomen)
POST: I have such a high libido, and as a single woman I greatly enjoy casual sex and am always happy to flirt with someone new and attractive. However, I have a fair few male friends who I genuinely love as people and love having in my life, and I don't want to fuck that up.
My question is how do I stop fantasising about these friends of mine? I am constantly imagining friends of mine and myself having sex, sometimes even while I'm talking to them! It's not OK and I feel like I'm objectifying them and diminishing our friendship.
PLEASE give me some helpful tips and strategies on how to compartmentalise my libido, how to stop fantasising about my friends and how to stop flirting so much! I have such a flirty personality and I'm kind of over it because people constantly get mixed messages from me which I hate. It's my own fault and I just want to know how to calm the fuck down. Has anyone else had this problem? Please help!
Thank you so much in advance <3
TL;DR: | Sick of constantly objectifying my male friends by fantasising about them and being almost unable to not have sex with them when they offer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with my GF [24F] of 4 years. We broke up for 2 weeks and got back togeather, I told her I slept with another woman in that time, and now she's upset. How can I make her feel better?
POST: My girlfriend, Christie, and I broke up about 3 weeks ago over some stupid shit. Recently, we talked it out and worked out some problems and ended up getting back togeather. We were only broken up for about 2 weeks, during which time, we had no contact.
After we got back together, we had a long talk, and it came out that about a week after breaking up, I slept with some random girl I met at a party. Christie is really upset about this, and feels betrayed. I feel horrible for it, and I want to make her feel better. Is there anything I can do? Any advice?
Oh, and just to mention, I don't really have much recollection of that night, I honestly woke up in a random stranger's bed. I got pretty barred out on Xanax before going to the party, and literally the last memory I had of that night was like 10 minutes after getting there and saying hi to an old buddy of mine. After that I don't remember anything and have 0 idea hwat happened, I just know that the next morning I woke up naked next to some random girl.
TL;DR: | broke up with gf for 2 weeks, got geeked up, had sex with random girl, now gf is upset. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: My (21f) boyfriend (20m) of 2 months isn't really affectionate unless we are physically together.
POST: So I'm in Japan doing an exchange study trip and I'll be staying for a year. This October I met this one guy and we hit it off awesomely, We became a couple a week after we met.
Now the thing is, he tells me he loves me and when we are together we are very romantic but I'm always the one who has to invite him to my house. He rarely comes on his own. I'm tired of always initiating everything and as much as I love him I don't know if he sees me as just a temporary thing or if he is just not that into couple stuff.
He also does not want me to go to his house which makes me very sad. I have come to believe that maybe he likes me but thinks I'm not good enough for his parents.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 2 months never initiaties anything and I'm always the one who has to invite him over to hang out. If not for me he'd never visit me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [20F] stop obsessing/fb stalking the girl [21F] my boyfriend [20M] cheated on me with.
POST: As the title suggests my boyfriend cheated on me. It was about 8 months into our relationship that I first heard about it (not through him initially). The drama all went down during our final year exams, so instead of dealing with it then I decided to wait until after my exam finished. The 'waiting period' however didn't go to plan and we still messaged each other and briefly saw each other during study breaks. After exams we ended up officially getting back together. It took me awhile to trust again, at the beginning I constantly had to check his phone to make sure he wasn't messaging anyone else, but I have gladly moved on from that stage and have my trust in him back.
I am honestly happy with our relationship at the moment, I never thought I would be the one to forgive a cheater and at the start the 'once a cheater, always a cheater' would do rounds in my head, but I am glad I gave him a second chance or we wouldn't have what we do now.
The problem I have though is that even 2 years after it happened, I still find myself looking at the girl he cheated on me with's profile (i.e. not following on instagram but will always find myself looking at her posts and the same with Facebook). I don't know why I do it to myself because it brings up feelings of annoyance and anger with HER, not him, even though it was him betraying me not her (I didn't/don't know her personally, apart from in regards to this). I thought time would help me get over it, but it hasn't and I'm honestly questioning whether I'll ever be able to let this fully go! It's even made me question whether we should stay together, if I am still obsessing over it. Any advice would be appreciated!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend cheated, we stayed together but 2 years on and I still check the 'other' girl's social accounts..HELP |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By Sitting on A Girl's Face
POST: Okay, so this happened in 5th grade, which was 5 years ago. I remember it clearly because of how embarrassing it was. In our P.E. class, we had these ropes to climb on. There was about a week dedicated to rope stuff (I don't remember exactly what though; stuff like climbing, etc.) and at the end, we got to swing and jump off of the rope (onto foam pads, of course). So when it was my turn, I got ready. At the same time, one of my best friends (both current and at the time) was getting ready to swing too. So what happened was, we both ended up swinging at the same time. It would have been fine, but she let go before I did and, somehow, one or both of us jumped more towards the other person. I let go after she did, and I ended up with my butt landing on her face. Everybody started laughing, including us, and my face turned all red. She also said that I had a bony butt. The embarrassment was real.
TL;DR: | We were swinging and jumping off of ropes in 5th grade. My ass landed on a girl's face and I learned that I had a bony butt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19F] am having issues trusting my partner of two & a half years and I don't know why.
POST: I have generalized anxiety disorder but it's been getting worse over the past few months. I've been cheated on in the past, sexually assaulted, and verbally, emotionally and physically abused.
Lately, I am having issues with trusting my partner. We've been together for two & a half years, but these issues have only arisen in recent months, and I don't know why. He has never done anything to suggest that I shouldn't trust him. I'm questioning a lot of things, and asking for reasons for things. Either way, it's been affecting our relationship. We've been bickering regularly and I always end up apologizing and crying and feeling like the shittest girlfriend because I can't seem to shake the recurring, negative thoughts from my brain.
Just recently, he went away with a group of his male friends for a "boys getaway" with people who don't really tickle my fancy. My anxiety was crippling at this point because he was the only person with a girlfriend in his group. I don't like that particular group that he went with because I've heard the way they talk about other people, how they treat women and such and it's absolutely disgusting. I was worrying about everything, even the irrational and the impossible.
I don't know if this is simply an issue with my anxiety or if it's an actual relationship issue and I don't know what to do.
**I am in therapy.
TL;DR: | I have recently developed trust issues with my partner of two and a half years, and I don't know if it's due to a problem in our relationship or if it's just my anxiety. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26 F] have anger attacks against my ex [30 M]. What should I do?
POST: I had a horrible break up, it's been almost 2 years now and I'm still not over the trauma. He was cheating on me for around 6 months, he treated me horribly but made me feel guilty if I wanted to leave. It was just so horrible. Eventually a friend of his told me that he has another girlfriend.
I was in pure shock and texted him. After that he did not want to talk to me anymore, he just texted me that he never played with me (of course he did!!!) And that he wishes me a good life. His friend told me that they've already booked their flights to meet his parents (on the other side of the world).
I feel so used and humiliated especially as they're still together and happy. It hurts and I feel disgusted about myself. I can't let go and move on i just keep on thinking what i want to shout at him and how to take revenge. I know I shouldn't but the desire is soo strong.
TL;DR: | My ex has been cheating on me fir months and is still happy with the girl he's cheated on me. I have anger attacks and think about revenge. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26F] with my LDR Boyfriend [26M] might not really like me because I'm not Asian?
POST: I'm from Eastern Europe and we've been together now for about 6 years, I met my Asian boyfriend while I was studying abroad in his country (North America).
After dating in person for about 2 years I had to return back to my country and we started dating long distance while I make the transition to permanently move to his country. However I've noticed some strange habits that are making me think that perhaps he's not really physically attracted to me.
My country (at least some of the older people) can be a tad Xenophobic. When he came to visit me I would instantly shoot down any remark someone would say, regardless of whether he understood it or not.
However I've recently returned from a trip abroad and it's making me feel unnerved. His family would constantly go on about how fat I am and say things like "That is what you get when you date a white girl!". His friend once remarked how he doesn't get to see me much anyway and that he should start dating a "cute Asian girl close by". I mean, I know people can be mean but mostly my BF would nod and agree to these things- WITH ME PRESENT!!
I've asked him if he is attracted to me and he just kind of shrugged. I don't know what that means. Now I've returned and he is sending me all these "I miss you", "I miss holding you in my arms." all these texts but when we are together in person it is like he is ashamed of me??
I know I could stand to lose some weight. I'm about 167 cm (5 ft 6 in) and weight 66kg.
Is this normal? Are customs in my country just different? Is there something I can do to be more Asian for him?
TL;DR: | BFs friends and family call me fat and imply that I'm ugly and BF agrees/ doesn't react. Is this normal behavior? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: This girl [27F] who I [26M] have been dating for 3 months keeps "policing" our gender norms
POST: I have been dating this girl for about 3-4 months and we are very compatible in where we are in our lives, which is important to me because I've had trouble staying with someone who is still in college or who works at a dead-end job. We make similar money and run in the same professional circles. We also have similar political views and she's also agnostic/atheist. Finally, she's easily the most sexually attractive partner I've ever been with.
Those are all of the good things. Unfortunately, this girl likes to regularly make it a point how a guy "should" act in a scenario, which I perceive as a passive-aggressive barb regarding something I did wrong in her eyes. For example, she initiated the first time we had sex, and she said several times since then that a guy should do that and not have to put a girl in a situation where she could feel vulnerable and be rejected, or be perceived as a slut (I definitely didn't tell her that I love sexually aggressive women and it is a huge turn-on for me when a woman initiates sex). At first I thought it was a joke or gentle teasing, but she kept bringing it up. Other things include her comments on how a man should always be the first to apologize after a fight, or how guys should do "little romantic things" on a regular basis to surprise a woman. On that note, I also feel a lot of pressure to keep our dates fresh and exciting, whereas she never really puts efforts to plan anything nor seems to care if I'm entertained. It's especially confusing because she's an otherwise very liberal, progressive woman, and this is behavior I'd except from some country Republican girl looking for her "cowboy".
I haven't brought this up because I feel sensitive about this topic. I was often bullied by male peers and my father growing up for having effeminate mannerism, such is in the way I sat or gestured when speaking, and my lack of physical strength and thin build. I have also had multiple people over the years think I am gay when they first meet me, and even though I am gay-friendly and support gay rights, it's a personal sore topic.
TL;DR: | Girl with many qualities I am seeking in a girlfriend tries to passive-aggressively enforce traditional male behavior on me, which is a sore topic because I am sensitive about my perceived masculinity from years of bullying and personal insecurity. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My bf [23M] of 6 months doesn't know if he wants to break up with me [24F]?
POST: Hello I really want some advice please.
Me and my bf have been together for 6 months but have actually only been physically seeing each other for about 3.
Wednesday we went on a date like normal, but sometime during it he said he's noticed I have become more affectionate. I asked if that bothered him and he said no not at all. I sent a text that night asking if he wanted me to not touch him so much. He didn't text me till later in the day thursday. I said that it seemed he was less on top of me then usual and he said he wasn't sure if he liked me enough to keep the relationship. I asked if he wanted to break up and he said his feelings weren't growing for me anymore and didn't want it to seem like he was leading me on and that he did like me. I asked if he would let me know and then we kind of stopped texting that night.
The next day we texted like normal people.
I don't understand where it came from because everything seemed to be going well up until now.
He said he liked me a lot before a few times and said it Wednesday night. He's been wanting me to meet his parents and wanted me to that night. So how can he not be growing in feelings? I want him to be able to love me. Do I need to continue to give him space and not talk about it? Do I need to ask where we stand. Our next day was supposed to be this next Sat. I want to hold off asking to see If I'll be able to see him again. I really fell for him and Idk what's going on.
Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: | Bf said his feelings aren't growing for me anymore out of no where and doesn't know whether or not he wants to end it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 16f seeking relationship advice with long term friend 18m
POST: My best friend of eleven months (18m) and I (16f) have feelings for each other and we're about to enter a relationship. He's a freshman in college and I'm a junior in a rigorous high school program.
We met through church, although neither of us are religious. He has a bad reputation because of an incident that wasn't even his fault, but everyone thinks it is. My parents think he's trouble and they're afraid my reputation at church will be tainted from openly befriending him. I've had to lie to them twice to hang out with him, and that was when we were just friends. As of right now, we only spend time with each other once a month, besides church.
My parents finally allowed me to hang out with him a few days ago, but they were clearly reluctant about it. They don't know that we have feelings for each other, and they're afraid that we do. I'm not allowed to date.
Once we're in a relationship, we won't even be able to tell church friends because they have a habit of gossiping and eventually the news will reach my parents. How can we fix his image in my parents' eyes?
Furthermore, I'm afraid that right now isn't a good time for us to start a relationship. Our lives are very complicated and we both need to focus on school. We've agreed that we'll always put our education first, but I don't want a bad fight or a break up to screw up other aspects of our lives or our friendship. Is it worth it to start a relationship right now or should we just wait it out, even though we have mutual feelings?
I've never been in a relationship - this will be my first.
TL;DR: | mutual feelings between me and my best friend, he's considered a "bad boy" in church, parents try to distance us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my boyfriend [26 M] of 11 months, he's suddenly decided that he doesn't want children and never will.
POST: Hey Reddit, I've tried to submit about this before but the situation has changed.
So I live with my boyfriend (I'll call him John), we have an amazing relationship with relatively few problems. We bicker now and then but it gets resolved quickly. I've made it really clear that I want kids in 3-5 years time and he has (until now) said that he wants that too. We are saving to buy a house and I have been looking for 2 bedroom houses near good schools, because we'll probably be staying in that house for a long time. We have also said we would like to get married in the next couple of years.
Basically everything is perfect which is why this sucks so much.
I was at work and John texts me mid-conversation to say 'I don't want kids. I've been thinking about it for weeks.' We discussed it at home face-to-face and he explained that he is scared that he will regret it. I was heartbroken because I know it's non-negotiable for me. I have a childless aunt who has an amazing marriage but regrets never having children and now she's too old. I really don't want that to be me.
I phoned his mother (with his knowledge) who I have a great relationship with. She thinks I am great for John but she says that it's a huge thing to compromise on. I agree with her. She knows childless women that are full of regret too. She went on to tell me about how much she loves her three sons, and even though it was hard raising them because they were so poor, she wouldn't change a thing.
So Reddit, I am really upset and confused. It changes everything. How can I get married and buy a house with this huge elephant in the room? I am young enough that I don't need to just leave straight away. John and I have agreed to just keep on as we are and he might change his mind. I wouldn't have agreed to this, but he changed his mind so randomly that I still have hope that it could go back the other way.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I are very serious and live together, he suddenly doesn't want kids but I do. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my boyfriend [19 M] for 2.5 years, I want to go on a trip with my school club but he's not happy.
POST: So I'm on the board for a club at my university and we plan a 3 day snowboarding trip for our members every year. I have never gotten the chance to go except for this year. It will be my last year on the board and I would really like to go.
The problem is that my boyfriend is not happy. So he moved about an hour away for college and since I didn't get a car until this month and my mom is super strict about me spending the night I haven't been able to go visit him. So its relied on him driving over here on some weekends so we could see each other or him picking me up and driving back over to his apartment. Another problem is that we are on winter break right now and we haven't been able to hang out as much as we wanted to so far because my cousin came from another country to visit. We still have two weeks though to spend time together since she's leaving tommorow.
So at first I told my boyfriend that I wasn't going to go so we can have more time together, but after thinking about it I would really like to go since it's my last semester and it's my chance to finally make some friends. So I brought it up today so we can discuss it, and I made it clear that this doesn't mean I'm going. I just wanted to tell him that I would like to go and that I want to talk about it.
My boyfriend got upset because I changed my mind about going. He says it's not fair that I can go to this trip but I'm not allowed to spend the night over there. He also brought up that fact that we don't get to see each other a lot and we only have two weeks left and a 3 day trip will take time away from us spending time together before he leaves. Then he says that I don't put in enough effort in our relationship and don't sacrifice enough to because it's always him that has to come back. Is it selfish of me to want to go?
TL;DR: | I want to go on a 3 day snowboarding trip with my uni clib but my boyfriend is not happy because we don't have a lot of time together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Need some suggestions...
POST: My son is autistic, he's 6. He likes Pokemon cards. I let him take his cards to his after-school care because other kids also had cards and were playing during the spring break. he started with 62 cards, and some kids gave him a few extra cards after his first couple of days. They called these cards, "energy cards" and they are used to activate abilities on other cards, and are therefore required to be able to play effectively.
The problem is, he just came home today with only 7 cards. The other kids just decided they wanted his cards, and he didn't know what to do to stop them. I told him when I let him take his cards, not to trade cards with anyone, because he wasn't knowledgeable enough about the game and the cards to trade fairly.
I know it's not his fault for letting the other kids bully him, but I have to punish him for not following my rule about not trading. My problem is that it's not really the Care Provider's responsibility to watch after my son's belongings, and although they have had classes about bullying it's not the kind of bullying that is easy to watch for. The kids just said they wanted my son's cards, and he let them have them. (According to him)
I've contacted one parent because our sons have had play dates together and she's promised to ask her son to return the cards he took, but the other parents are my concern, I don't know them, and some of the cards were "good" cards, that would actually help my son play and possibly win. They basically took all his good cards and left him with shit...I feel terrible.
TL;DR: | The other kids at my son's after-school care took his "good" pokemon cards, who do I talk to? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23M) recently broke up with my girlfriend (22F ) of 7 years. Unsure of how to meet other women.
POST: Like the post says, I broke up with my girlfriend of 7 years a few weeks ago, and I'm not sure how to meet other women. I have never 'dated' before, and I've never had sex with anyone else, so my experience with anyone other than her is pretty much zero.
I have only a few female friends who are all in serious relationships, and my closest male friends are similar to me, in that they don't go out to clubs looking for someone to bring home.
I'm completely clueless as to how to go about meeting other women, and am already starting to regret breaking up with her, if only for the safety and ease of the relationship.
Do I nut up and approach random women at bars? Or is there a better way to meet women, preferably in a scenario in which I can talk to them as opposed to a loud club?
TL;DR: | Broke up with long term girlfriend, unsure how to meet other women; starting to regret breaking up with her amid fears of never finding anyone again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm terrified of applying
POST: It's the season for doctoral apps again. I've been trying for the last three years and I've never been able to gather enough courage to make an honest effort at it. I finally managed to get one in at the last moment yesterday (I still have to send them GRE scores) and I'm going to try to make it with more.
But I can't shake the feeling I'm doing this is vain. I'm pretty sure that I would be great at it and I would be very happy, but I can't see anyone recognizing my potential. I know I have it but I don't FEEL it myself. If I don't fuck up the apps, I'll fuck up the interview. The anxiety is paralyzing and terifying. I've tried this for so long, another year will make me feel like a failure. But I may have to do it because it is my dream and I am not going to give it up when I know I'm so close.
It's all in my anxiety. My scores are not great because I can't concentrate. I can't put in the work (belive me I do when I CAN) because working always feels like a reminder I'm a failure or a failure waiting to happen.
I will feel better somehow sometime. But right now I feel like I'm drowning. I just want to believe in myself earnestly, not just try to make it happen and fail because I need to be live in myself to.do the things I need to do to believe in myself.
TL;DR: | Want to fuck this shit, can't fuck this shit. Want to do this shit, can't do this shit. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (m14) ask a girl who is (f14) if they want to hang out
POST: So I like this girl alot and she's real nerdy/ geeky like me. And I want to ask her if she wants to hang out sometime but I always get shy and dont do it. I like this girl alot and probly will be going to high school with her. Any advice on were to go/ how to do it? Also for the record she does not have a phone so I would have to do it in person. Also I can't have her hang out at my house beacuse I share room with my brother that is 19. And her parents are Strick. Any advice? Also don't have a car atm
TL;DR: | I a shy guy wants to ask a girl to hang out but aways shy out/ dont know where to go. And need advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [f22] am not sure how to get past a rough time with my SO [m23]?
POST: (I apologize for the length and semi jumbled mess!)
My Boyfriend and I have been together for a little longer than a year and a half. We're generally a very happy couple, of course the little tiff every now and again but we have very open communication and healthy relationship. Right now he's finishing up his last semester in college and is graduating a week from today. Things have been, for lack of a better word, tense between us. We've been fighting more than ever (when just a month ago we have been nothing short of perfect) and lately almost every time I get off the phone with him we're both mad or unhappy. We have went from seeing each other once a day to maybe once a week. I'm getting really burnt out on the constant little arguments every day. He's constantly snapping at me and when I go out of my way to make sure to encourage him, bring him pick me up snacks/meals, and just be all around supportive I feel under appreciated.
I graduated last year and can completely understand the stress and full schedule but I'm not sure how to handle the constant fighting and snapping at each other. Do I continue to send my love or just pull away and see if things cool off after he graduates? I'm sorry if this was kind of jumbled and long but if anyone has any advise on getting through stressful times that'd be great!!
TL;DR: | boyfriend is going through the stressors of graduating and straining our relationship. How can I get through this rough time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can someone explain, generally, how salary negotiations work in a business? As well as a couple specific examples to illustrate it?
POST: I'm not referring to multimillion dollar salaries for professional athletes or even how to negotiate a salary for a high paid CEO/CFO/etc. I'm just an average guy who worked for a while, went back to school and got my degree (unrelated [but not irrelevant] major/minor), and has rejoined the workforce.
Here's some specific information regarding the the employer/my situation in case anyone can give me more specific feedback. I work as an (marketing) intern for a start-up company in silicon valley, California. I've only been working there for a month, but they've already given me "ownership" over multiple projects (the saying "one person wears many hats" applies especially to start-up companies). By my calculations, I currently make ~40k a year with overtime (10 hours of OT a week). I have no benefits (health/dental/vision). I was brought in directly through the company (not by an outside contract agency/temp-to-hire).
TL;DR: | what is the process of being approached/offered/negotiating a full-time salary? What are the do's and dont's of the process? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Relationships] Me [18 M] with my best friend of 5 years [18 F] went from just being friends to sex - I think it's ruined our friendship
POST: I've been friends with this girl for five years and about four months ago she broke up with her boyfriend of two years. He was a real piece of dirt, like the kind of possessive asshole you find in those romantic films where they're engaged and you don't know why. It reached a point where he essentially told her not to talk to me or her other male friends and, wanting her to be happy (she was happy with him), I stopped talking to her.
We hadn't spoken in about a year until she broke up with him, then things kinda shifted back to how they were before. It was almost effortless how quickly our friendship just went back to what it was, but that's what I'd always liked about her, everything just felt so natural. The only thing that was different is that she was now not a virgin and I still was so that was kind of awkward, but it was no big deal.
Then, about two months ago we were both at a big 'end of school' house party thing and we'd had something to drink and we just kinda made out. It wasn't too awkward and we laughed about it and things went back to being just friendly. The other night we were on skype and somehow the topic turned to sex and she asked whether I could separate sex from feelings. I thought 'yeah' because who can't.
She came round on Sunday and we had sex and it was great, but we were both very clear that it wasn't something to lead to a relationship and that it was just a one time thing.
The problem is I can't stop thinking about everything that happened and, when I do, it feels like there's a weight on my heart. I don't want to bring it up with her because I feel like it's just going to ruin the friendship that I've only just gotten back. She's going through some stuff with her own family regarding terminal illness and I don't want to interrupt what she's dealing with. How can I stop thinking about it, how can I stop feeling things and how can I get laid again?
TL;DR: | platonic friendship lead to no-strings sex but I can't help but feel things that aren't reciprocated. How can I stop feeling them and stop thinking about what happened? |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: ladies of reddit, how long should I (23m) give a girl (23f) I've been dating (3 months) to decide between me and another guy she just started seeing? After how long should I walk away?
POST: We had been seeing each other on a daily basis for three months- dates, movies, night caps, spooning, giving pet names, finishing each other's sentences - you know the whole fucking thing.
We were pretty much "together" but I hadn't asked her to be exclusive yet. Mainly because I'm indecisive and still wasn't sure about her ex situation. I slowed it down for a week because I was very busy and out of no where she's seeing another guy.
she says she's unsure about what to do and wants me to give her time to choose. the problem is when she isn't with me I know she's with him and I think they're sleeping together.
TL;DR: | I was reluctant in asking a beautiful women out, and now I'm competing with another guy. How long should I wait for her to figure this out knowing she's having sex with him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Not sure if being scammed...
POST: Hey guys, I was recently contacted via LinkedIn by a woman who described me as being "a good fit" for her openings.
I asked if she had any details for these positions/links etc, and if she wanted my full resume', since all she saw was my LinkedIn profile.
She then tells me there are some jobs opening in "Internet, Marketing, and Team Lead"
and she asks me to call her for more details
So at this point I'm like... Internet is seriously a job description/title ?
Anyway, today I called her, she points me to a website -
and tells me to scroll down to - Interview -
type in my name/email (optional values)
and the password she gave me was: 239916
Now... honestly... i watched the video, called the lady back ... and she tells me there's a webinar on thursday night...
I come from a CS background... but honestly
are business people this weird?
Now this lady just seems like a major troll. But the video is super vague, with some jersey accented girl talking the whole time.
Are there places/ways to know if this person is serious?
TL;DR: | contacted on linkedin about working for someone - job is super vague - video mentions "this isnt a pyramid scheme scam" - what job has to say it's not a scam? rofl |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you feel about nixing "the narwhal bacons at midnight" for a simpler, more practical system.
POST: I found this earlier, and I think it's exactly what we need. I'm worried that the post won't get enough attention to make any real change or impact. I commented on it:
I spend a lot of time browsing reddit, and I speak with my upvotes and downvotes mostly. I very rarely comment. However, I think **this should not be ignored.**
>Reddit as a community is getting more and more **public notoriety**, and with that comes more **responsibility with the way we conduct ourselves**. If reddit users go around acting like *self-important jackasses with no worldly perspective*, then reddit will be known as a place for those types of people.
>I like the idea of reddit remaining a tight community - **a community that I respect and cherish**. I don't want that community to lose its integrity *"for the lolz"*, as they say. Staying close to this system as a guideline will **only benefit reddit.**
>Furthermore, we do pride ourselves on our **underground nature**, despite our size and presence. That pride is important; it keeps our **identity strong** and our **community closely-knit**. I look forward to the next time I'm having a conversation with someone, and we are able to use these cues to identify each other, and **bond over that experience**.
>
TL;DR: | This is exactly what we need, and it's come not a moment too soon. I will do what I can to get this seen and to the front page. I recommend that you do as well.*** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My new girlfriend (18/f) wants to take it slow with me (18/m).
POST: A couple weeks ago I asked out a girl I work with. She seemed extremely nervous about our first date but once things got going she really opened up and we had a great time.
I took her to a beautiful park near my neighborhood. We walked, talked, held hands, flirted, goofed around... overall great date.
She said she had a great time with me and looked forward to our next date. Unfortunately, I fucked up the goodnight kiss (she turned last second and I smashed my face into her cheek) but that's fine.
Anyways, the next day we were texting and somehow go onto the topic of serious relationships. She said that her last relationship was really intense and lasted almost 2 years, and that it will take her awhile before she feels that deeply about someone else again. She also said she wants to take it slow with me on the emotional/serious level and just have fun.
I understand all of that but I'm the type of person who likes to know where things stand. I told her I agreed and that we should take time to build our relationship before getting serious but really I just want someone to love.
>
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TL;DR: | First date went great but she's very cautious about getting serious with someone. She wants to take it slow with me for now. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What do I tell a company I do side work that I also have a full-time Job?
POST: So here is the deal - I found these people on Craigslist, they needed Apache+PHP upgraded on their server and to setup their SSL, the only problem was they needed me to be there at noon. I work 7am-4pm and I figured id throw a high $/hr fee to make it worth while. They accepted it and I went and did the job yesterday. I spoke to the owner of the company and he asked me about what other skills I had, so I explained everything I do.
I get an email later in the day asking me what my schedule is like because they would like to bring me back in to do some more work on a different project. Obviously they want me to come in during business hours. I don't really know what to tell them, I want (read; need) the extra work but I also don't want to be asking for time off from my main job.
What can I tell him that wont sound like I don't want to do the work but also explain to them my situation?
TL;DR: | Did a quick job on craigslist and now they want me to come in for more work but it interferes with my full-time job, what can I say without sounding like I don't want to work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: So I (M/17) broke up with my gf(F/16) over her liking many people, and she says i have chance but she wants to whore around. Advice guys?
POST: This is from my phone so bear with me on any flaws. Okay, so i broke up with my girlfriend i knew for 2 years and went out for a month (i know sounds silly) its been a week since we broke up. but i never felt so connected to anyone one else in my past. Basically the reason why i broke up with her is because she was confused about me or her first love, and she has crushes on many people. I know im stupid to want her back but im young and naive. Basically she wants to whore around and all, and doesnt want to feel guilty over me. Sometimes we are just fine and then its just emotional hell. I want her but i know i should move on, but at the same time i know little ol me will keep coming back. What can i do to make it work, or move on, or anything. I'm a wreck right now.
TL;DR: | broke up with girlfriend, she says i have a chance to get back with her but she wants to whore around too and i'm an emotional wreck. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: I need help in getting active/motivated really badly-r/getmotivated won't help
POST: I'm a 16 y/o male and I've been smart but lazy my whole life, so far it's worked as I've done quite well. But I know that if I continue like this I won't get anywhere in life, especially now, as I want to go to oxford university. I've taken a ridiculously advanced math course for the next two years and I need to be able to put my head down and work harder than I've ever worked before. I have known I have a problem with lethargy/procrastination for a while, but it's come to a point where I know my future could be at risk.
TL;DR: | I keep telling myself I have to work and stop procrastinating but it never works, how can I change this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F with my ex [27M] 1+ yrs. Months after breakup, how do you cut the rest of those heart strings?
POST: It's been since December since we've last spoken. It was all a mess, it's a very very long story, and it was a shitty mess made by me and him also...
But now... I still find myself having dreams, and seeing him in them once in a while. I have short daydreams about him from time to time...
I've come to the realization that I don't think I'm completely or thoroughly over him. I loved him oh so much, and I got stupid, tangled shit up and ruined eeeverything we had. But I loved him so.
I know his reddit username... I read what he's commented on, what he says... I can't help it. I can't stop. I want to know how he's doing.
I just want him in my life again. I don't care if it's not a romantic relationship. He was such a light in my life, that he was irreplaceable and forever will be. He's blocked me from Facebook for less emotional strains since the breakup.
Reddit... if this silence, this nothingness has to be, then how do I cut these last strings? How do I make my heart stop trying to turn itself inside out?
I doubt he knows of my account name here... thus, I doubt he'll read this. I really, really hope he does somehow by chance... But I don't think that will ever happen. I wish I could just tell him how I feel and just get it off my chest, maybe that will help. I miss him greatly.
TL;DR: | Realize I'm not over him. Can't seem to let him completely go. How do you cut ALL of the ties and just let go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I "get back" at my neighbor?
POST: So I live in an apartment building where no dogs are allowed. I have a dog (yes I know it's wrong) and I've just been told that management will be sending me a letter telling me that I need to get rid of the dog. No harm, I broke the rules and management is in the right. I am planning on moving anyway in a few months, so my dog will be staying at my in laws until we do move.
Here's the problem, we were ratted out by other tenants who also have dogs and were told by management to get rid of them. We have no quarrel with these people and they also failed to mention about the other tenants in the building that have a dog. The people who ratted us out are friends with the people they failed to mention and they both happen to speak very little English where as I speak absolutely no Spanish. I'd like to think racism isn't in play here but I feel it is.
So how do I "get back" at them in a totally legal way where I can feel vindicated or at least let out my anger?
TL;DR: | How do I get "revenge" on neighbors that ratted us out to management because they were being spiteful for no reason? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [m21] tell my girlfriend [20] of 7 months that I love her?
POST: I have been dating this girl for about 7 months. We have had an amazing time and I felt like I was in love with her a few months ago.
We recently got back together after a short separation (about 2 weeks)
The separation was for very stupid reasons brought on by me.
We have since been trying to work things out. We are now both comfortable in the relationship and confident in each other.
Would telling her that I love her be a bad move? I am positive in how I feel, but I am wondering if saying so this soon after a separation would prove to be a mistake on my part.
TL;DR: | dating a girl for 7 months. I love her but am worried saying so a few weeks after getting back together is a bad idea |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23F) with my BF (24M): how to tactfully get him to leave the house?
POST: We've been living together for 10 months now and everything's great! I just have a small issue - he pretty much never leaves the house. We both have full time jobs and friends in the area. At least a couple times a week, I will go out with friends or visit my parents. He, on the other hand, never leaves the house. He's there when I leave and when I come back.
I want to bring this up in a tactful manner, especially because his friends came over last week to watch South Park, and I'm concerned it might become a weekly thing. Not that I would mind all that much, it just would be cool if they could host as his friends live together and then I could also get some me time!
TL;DR: | want to tell my bf nicely he should get out of the house once a week so I can be alone in it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I (28) tell my friend (24) his wife (24) is looking to cheat on him?
POST: Hi people,
Okay, here's the situation (names are all changed).
I have a friend called "Paul". Paul often likes to tell me stories about his sex life and any recent conquests he's managed. Today he was telling me a story about a girl he met on Saturday. He was in a club and this girl came up to him, very drunk and spent a good few hours with him groping, flirting and being pretty heavy with him. This girl stopped short of actually going anything sexual with him, including kissing. Since then he and her have been texting each other about meeting up soon and carrying on their fun and games.
Paul was boasting about it because she is a "milf with 2 kids". He then told me she was a young mum (24) and that her name was "Lucy". I put 2+2 together, realizing I knew a 24 year old mum of 2 called Lucy. I got Facebook up and asked him if the Lucy I knew was indeed the same Lucy. He confirmed she was.
My problem is Lucy is the wife of another friend of mine called Phil. Phil is a gentle, loving, friendly bloke. He's down to Earth, hard working (he's a bin man) and a real family man. He would never suspect Lucy of doing anything as she always comes across as loving to him.
What do I do? Phil and Paul don't know each other. I've told Paul he'd be best to avoid Lucy and not get involved. I'm not great friends with Phil, certainly not friendly enough to just sit him and down and tell him what I know, but at the same time, he and his kids don't deserve to be hurt.
TL;DR: | Friend A hooked up with Friend B's wife the other night. Do I tell friend B what a cheating whore his wife is? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (32/m) wife (32/f) complains about her job and wants me to tell her it's okay to quit, but I'm not going to, how do I handle this?
POST: My wife (teacher) constantly complains about how she can't stand her job, the kids are disrespectful, etc. and how much she hates it. I know my wife, and I know she wants me to say "sweetie why don't you just quit?" But I'm not going to say that under any circumstances.
However, I did tell her that I will support her leaving if she has a backup job or if she decides to go back to school (that will help advance her career). I also said that I would pay for her schooling.
Her response is that she does not want to go back to school.
It's getting to the point where she talks about how much she hates work everyday. It completely ruins the end of the day, as half the time it ends in her crying. I'm not sure what to do.
TL;DR: | Wife hates her job and wants me to tell her to quit. I'm not going to tell her to quit, but I also don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Showing signs of Jaundice... new health insurance does not kick in for 9 days! What to do?
POST: Had some abdominal pain a few nights back... woke me up... it sucked. Went away and I was feeling great most the day until lots of stomach 'uneasiness' set in occasionally with some mild pain. My days have been the same wake up feeling great, 100% normal and then progress towards a cramping upset stomach in the evening only to wake up feeling great again.
Then last night my piss tured bright yellow almost orange, and my eyes are a little yellowish. (some kind of bile blockage or hepatitis, right? ffffffuuuuuuuuuu!)
Here is the kicker... Iama IDIOT and let my old health insurance lapse and my new insurance coverage doesn't start until Sept 25th... wtf do I do? I think i'd probably be fine affording regular doctors visit and meds but if they have to take out my gallbladder... uhhhgg!
I don't feel great but I think I could wait it out... is this an even more idiotic idea?
Other symptoms/lack of symptoms:
Not dizzy
Temp is 97.7 and around there the whole time
Funny taste in mouth (from the bile in my mouth)
29 years 170lbs
I dont feel like im dying... i actually feel pretty ok.
TL;DR: | Got real signs of Jaundice, (could be galbladder, hepatitis, cancer, etc) Health coverage doesn't start for 9 days... wtf do i do???? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M], struggling between staying single or getting back with girlfriend
POST: - Here is a link to back story.
Basically I broke up with my ex over the summer because she always threw all of her problems on me, talked about guys she had sex with when she originally broke up with me to make me jealous, etc. It was a pretty toxic relationship.
Now we've been talking again for about a month or so and she seems to have changed. No displaced anger, no jealousy, nothing. It fact, the relationship is pretty laid back, something I always wanted to begin with. The only problem is, I am questioning whether or not I want to be with he now. She hurt me a lot in the past, and now I'm wondering if I should just be on my own and focus on myself. I know I'd be completely okay if we broke up, and I being in a relationship isn't really that important to me at this point my my life. My goals are more focuses on getting into finishing school, applying to grad school, and possibly applying to the peace corps. However, I don't feel like she's done anything since talking together that makes it a bad relationship, so I am conflicted.
TL;DR: | Was with girlfriend, broke up after a lot of drama. We've been talking again, don't know if I want to be back with her or be on my own. Help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's most awkward situation that that you have had between you and your boss?
POST: In the morning today, my boss was telling me that his computer was running slow last night and he wants me to fix it. I suggested a virus check (Microsoft Security Essentials) and he asked me to do it for him.
It ran in the background for 20-40 minutes and he tells me it's finished, so I go over to see that MSE was "red" and it had 3 "viruses." I checked the details and all of them say "Pornpop" or "Porn Popup."
After the brief silence, he asks, "Can you please wipe my computer of any *viruses* and history for the past day?"
I told him that I would and it would take a while. (Even though I know it only takes a couple seconds.) I checked his history and he's into the weirdest crap.
TL;DR: | I checked my boss's computer for anti-virus and he's been looking at porn in which multiple males climax on a girl's face. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Currently unemployed. Job offer while scheduling 2nd round with other company. Best option?
POST: I have been networking and trying to get interviews with company A for 3 months. I finally got interviewed a month ago and they are scheduling me for a second round. I have been continually job hunting for the past 5 months. I recently was interviewed and offered a lesser position with company B but still decent pay and interesting enough. I told company A and they said they would try to speed up their interview process because they are very interested in me. They said the second round is more of a formality but it is with the department manager who has a final say (so could still say no). I am trying to negotiate an extension with company B to wait a week to give them an answer. If they put their foot down should I tell company B yes now and not tell them I'm going to continue interviewing and if company A says yes then reject B. Neither job will start before December. Company A is my first choice and are also giving me a strong impression that I am their first choice also.
TL;DR: | been unemployed, don't want to end up saying no and not getting another offer but also on the fence about misleading one company with the possibility of changing my mind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I quit my job and now they're nagging me to reconsider... what do!?
POST: Details: I've been working at a place for almost a year, now I'm approaching graduation and some better opportunities have come knocking on my door. I took a company up on one such opportunity, and today I stopped in at my old work to talk to my boss and quit.
I told him the switch was going to be better for my career and a better opportunity for me especially because I am now planning on moving cities within the next year (current job was local only). They said I should think about reconsidering, blah blah blah... I completely 100% do not want to go back to the old job.
I offered to stay on part time (literally 1 day a week) for a few more weeks, and surprisingly they took me up on it. I know when I go in this week they're gonna sit me down and talk to me about the whole situation, and I'm really really not looking forward to it. What should I say to make it clear that I am not entertaining the thought of un-quitting, to get them off my case?
TL;DR: | My boss is acting like he just got dumped and wants me back. How do I ward him off during my few final shifts? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to deal with my scumbag neighbors?
POST: My neighbors have become a real problem for me lately. They have giant dogs who they let out and let them run around our front yards all the time, and they end up shitting all over my front lawn. They never clean up their front yard (or backyard) and leave trash and discarded toys all over. Our front yards aren't seperated by any kind of fence so there's no keeping them out. I try really hard to keep my front yard clean and they are just complete slobs who ruin all my hard work. I've tried cleaning up the dog crap from my lawn and putting it on their front step in a bag and they just ignored it (and then eventually tossed the bag into their front garden) How can I get through to my neighbors? I don't really care all that much about my relationship with them, they are just assholes and have shot down every attempt I've made to be friendly with them anyways. I've left them a note about it but I don't think they read it, or maybe they ignored it.
TL;DR: | asshole neighbors are slobs, their dogs shit all over my lawn and they leave garbage everywhere, want to get a little revenge |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not realizing how thin my office walls are.
POST: I am a personal trainer at a large gym. I was sitting in my office with a buddy of mine who used to work here (and still comes here to workout). We have an incredibly naive and annoying woman who works in sales at our club. He and I were discussing some of the idiotic things she has said, such as: "The Spanish Inquisition is running our schools. They are a branch of the Illuminati." Now, idk what the fuck that means, but I love it. Anyways, we ended the conversation with Jake saying "*Woman's Name* is such a fuckin idiot." We looked out my office window to see her glaring at us from the lobby, along with several dumbfounded looking club members.
TL;DR: | Buddy and I called a co-worker "a fuckin idiot" from the safety of my office. Turns out the walls are about as soundproof as a sheet of paper. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 M] Cant get over a long forgotten breakup [25 F]
POST: This is my last resort at getting some help. Maybe a nice honest rant is what I need now.
My ex and I broke up just over 2 years ago after dating for just over one year. (lets call her Candy) It was a pretty messy break-up. We were just drifting apart and she ended it. I wanted it to end at the time and as we talked post break up well relations went soar, mean things were said and we stopped talking. No Facebook, No texting.
I started seeing new women right away, I had a lot of fun. Whenever I stopped seeing the new women I would feel sad for a normal amount of time. But instantly as I got over them, I would miss Candy all over again.
I did therapy, mediation, distraction. I have lots of hobbies now and more friends that I hang out with than ever before. My life is really on an up swing and has been since we broke up, and still she is on my mind.
I don't even know what I want from her, I just want to talk but I know that only bad things could come from that. I am to vulnerable about her and she could flatten me with just a few words. What can I do reddit?
TL;DR: | Broke up with girl 2 years ago, dated a lot since, way better life. Still it haunts me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hey Reddit, THREE of my ex-girlfriends are sitting less than 25 feet away from me. What do I do?
POST: I haven't seen or talked to them in years, and two of them are sitting together (They apparently became friends after) the other is at a separate table. If I leave before them, I'm afraid one of them will see me. The break-ups were not mutual. All of them were my idea. One was because I was smoking pot while she was doing cocaine, but I refused to each time. The other two were more because of my atheism than my pot smoking. They kept trying to convert me and take me to church with them; but I refused. Needless to say, they didn't end well.
All three of them didn't want me to break up with them, and I received texts and facebook messages from them for months after.
TL;DR: | 3 ex's in the same building as me, none ended well, only one exit and I have to walk by them to get to it. Please advise. I'm already shielding my face with a hood and my laptop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Found out my [26F] husband [30M] complimented a girl [25-30?F] on Reddit who posts naked photos of herself
POST: Throwaway because my husband knows I browse this subreddit. Apologies for the wall of text!
I've been with my husband for 10 years now (married for 2). We've had our ups and downs, especially since we started dating quite young (both our first serious relationship) and I've had issues with him in the past with him complimenting other women before in unacceptable ways, secretly, etc. as he felt a need to boost his ego. We had worked past them before we got married, and gained a lot of ground in terms of trust.
However recently there's been quite a bit of stress (work from both our ends, family issues, etc). We were a bit distant for a little while a few weeks ago, which we brought up and talked about, and resolved.
But knowing his past, I just couldn't help myself when he went out and left his Reddit account open on the computer, so I snooped a bit. I know this is frowned upon and I try hard to get over any trust issues I have but I just had to make sure (I would also appreciate advice to focus on the issue below).
I don't find very much, but I did find that my husband PM'd a compliment: "you look absolutely stunning!" about 10 days ago to a random girl on Reddit who posted a few naked photos of herself.
She replied with a "thanks" and there was no further dialogue and there aren't any other comments with other girls.
Now, I'm really small chested and petite (about AA cup) and this girl is pretty large (DD+?) but still has quite a slender body, so this kind of irks me.
I was initially going to brush it off but I realised that he also has never called me "stunning". Mostly "pretty, cute, etc" and maybe a rare "beautiful". It really breaks my heart that he would go out of his way to compliment a stranger like this.
But since this is a one off comment, do you think it is harmless? Or not acceptable? Just any insight or advice would be helpful!
TL;DR: | My husband complimented a random girl on Reddit who posts naked photos of herself who has a different body type to mine. Not sure how acceptable this is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [38 F] with my GF [33 F] 17 years, argument over not defending her.
POST: GF and I went to the doctor's for a check up. We both had appointments. GF was asked by the aide what she was being seen for and says, legs, feet, back due to overuse at work. Aide reiterates, for work? GF says, it's not work related, but I do a lot of heavy lifting and walking for work. Aide goes out and comes back into the room with the billing lady who says the doctor can't treat you for work related issues.
GF gets mad, and I had to leave the room to get a refund on her co-pay, and when I get back, I'm told GF needs to wait in lobby because she was making people uncomfortable, so I told GF she has to wait outside. GF is livid at this point and says she was escorted out (which I didn't see because I was behind closed doors) and felt she was treated like some sort of perpetrator.
I waited 3.5 weeks for the appointment, and needed to get some paperwork signed for work or else I could get in trouble. I agree I messed by not speaking up and saying I want her to stay in the room with me, but GF believes I should have left the office with her.
TL;DR: | GF messed up by telling doctor's aide visit was work related issues. She believes I didn't defend her and thinks I am not trustworthy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Quarter life crisis? Its complicated..
POST: I live in a smaller country in central Europe and working as a sort of "project manager" (thats what is on my card anyway), but I rarely ever manage anything.. Since my only direct boss is the head of the company, I do all sort of work for him, but I rarely get any consultation time or any sort of feedback. He just wants things done as soon as possible without me bothering him about details, but he's also kind of a control freak, so nothing can get pass without his stamp of approval.
Ok that was a bit of a rant, I guess the job has its positives too - some days are not as busy, I rarely have to work overtime etc. On a busy day though, it can be very draining. Usually when you work a lot, you want to see some kind of result, but that is not whats happening here. I don't see any prospect in this job, even though the business idea of what we're doing seems promising, its just simply not enough for me - I need some sort of guarantee or progress. Also, the pay is low and I didn't get a raise almost for 2 years (since I am employed here).
My dream is to quit my job and work for myself one day. But how can I? My GF doesn't have a job, couse she just moved in the country and we're expecting a baby. My hobbies and real interest are totally different from what I am doing and what I studied (law). I like art, music, video games, graphics, writing (english isn't my native language, in case you're wondering). The problem is, I am not good at any of those things and related jobs seems impossible to land. When it comes to starting my own business, I just feel like I am too broke to start anything. Besides, I don't have that genius idea that I could start building upon. I just have my interests and a dream to be 'free' one day, but it doesn't seem to be happening any time soon.
TL;DR: | I feel stuck in a job that is draining me, significantly different from what I'd love doing for a living. Not sure what to do next, as I can't simply quit and hope for the best. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my girlfriend [21 F] 2 years, feel like I stepped out of line with an ex girlfriend [21 F] today
POST: I've been seeing this girl for a while now, and we have a very solid relationship- we like each other a lot, and we care for each other a lot. She's been away for a couple of months of vacation now, and today I went out with an ex-girlfriend (old friend of mine) to grab some lunch. I told my girlfriend beforehand and I went to have dinner with the ex before and everything was fine.
Today, however, it was very flirty and even though nothing really happened, I still feel as though I was emotionally cheating. She put her head on my shoulder at one point but it was very brief and I moved away, and we (sort of) held hands for a second as well. I feel like it is nothing substantial that I would say, but it definitely didn't feel like something purely platonic friends would do and I know I would be upset about it.
I think it bothers me because I know that even though nothing happened, I explained to the ex girlfriend I am in a happy relationship and I would never cheat, I was attracted to her and I did want to do something. I am not sure what I should do- I won't be seeing the ex girlfriend again, of course, and I will avoid any situations like that in the future. I just don't want to tell her if it's only to make myself feel better; that seems a little selfish to me.
TL;DR: | met ex girlfriend, flirted a little, felt uncomfortable because I felt like I was tempted, not sure what to do?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, are we being negligent? [story inside]
POST: Throwaway.
One of my close friends has a cousin who is 17 years old who has been dating person much older than her for some time. Presently, her boyfriend is 24 years old, and they have been dating for almost a year.
**Backstory**: the older guy has worked at the mall for a long time in a store frequented by the high schooler. They meet, hit it off, and hung out among mutual friends. Over time the friendship became more serious, and ultimately, more troubling to the family of the high schooler, but no one has stepped up and said anything.
I've become more worried recently after learning more about the older boyfriend's history. He apparently had a roommate a few years ago (when he and his roommate were about 20) who also was dating a high schooler. At that point that high schooler's parents reported the older boy to the authorities and he is now a on the sex offender registry for that state. Thus, I'm a bit concerned that, even though the older bf has witnessed this, he has no problem dating a high schooler.
The troubling part for the people around this situation is whether or not to act legally. The age of majority in this particular state is 19 years old, and so the high schooler is technically not an adult until after that date. The relationship between the high schooler and her mother is already strained by this situation, and so she doesn't want to act.
We have no idea whether they have sex, but have no real reason to believe that they haven't. **Are we (the friends and family around this situation) being negligent by not reporting this activity to the authorities?
TL;DR: | A 17 year old girl is dating a 24 year old, and I'm wondering if the friends and family around this situation are being negligent in not reporting it to the authorities. |
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