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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my friend [25F] of 12 years are at different life stages. Need advice to help us not drift apart.
POST: I recognize childhood best friends can drift as your lives change. Our relationship is the kind where we can always pick up where we left off. I'm having to come to terms with her life being at a different stage than mine - marriage, homeownership, baby on the way...I'm not there yet. She's become close with a woman newly married, trying for their first child. My heart is set on being there for my friend and I'm genuinely excited for all the wonderful milestones she has had and the ones she has ahead, yet I can use some advice to cope with this sense of loss. Last time we met for dinner a few months ago, we stayed over 3 hours and she didn't once ask anything related to what's new in my life. It's this disinterest that concerns me. I had plenty to share about the trip my long term boyfriend and I are planning and a my promotion at work. In her defense, I was elated to hear all about her pregnancy thus far - she had a lot to share! All in all, her life has become more and more centralized around her marriage and daughter on the way, as it should, yet if our relationship is at all a priority, I know she'll (eventually) fit us in, even if we have less and less in common. It's this void her new close friend fills.
There must be others who have gone through this. I would love your advice. Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Best friend has a new best friend in the same life stage - marriage, homeownership, babies. I'm not there yet and it has changed our relationship. Need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] moved cross country to live with my boyfriend [24M] of 3 years, now I'm miserable.
POST: I moved across the country to live with my boyfriend. We had been dating for around 2 years when I moved to be with him. Now, it's been over a year since I moved here, but I'm miserable. I love him so much. He makes every day a joy and we've discussed marriage. I can't imagine not living with him now and he's the person that I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I am miserable in our current location.
I miss my family who are having a variety of health issues right now (all okay, but still wish I could be there). I miss my friends. I miss weather and 4 seasons. It sounds crazy, but I cry when I think about rain and deciduous trees at this point and I just do my best to pretend that snow never existed to begin with so that I can't feel that pain. I miss feeling like I had a place to belong in and a place that I was comfortable in.
I never would have moved here of my own accord, but I chose to do so to be with the person I love. If I moved away from him, I think that I would be equally heart-broken. I don't know which pain would be worse. I accepted that homesickness would be a part of the process when I agreed, but after over a year of being miserable to the edge of depression at times I was hoping that things would get better. I seem to go back and forth. I am very happy spending time with my boyfriend, but everything else seems to be crushing me. I have not had good luck with making friends over the past year and the miserableness is not particularly helping that.
I wish I knew what to do. I want to make this work. He is only here until he's done with school (another 2-3 years) and then he wants to return as well. I'll probably go elsewhere for my grad school for a year or two during that period, but I still have at least another year to survive here. Help please? Or am I just way in over my head... :(
TL;DR: | Moved across country to be with boyfriend. Hate the place and feel miserable and lonely, but want to make it work. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Live with mom? or dad?
POST: Hey guise i got a dilemma here, really the only reason im asking is because im a moralfag and im afraid of choosing one:
Live with my dad and possibly sister, they are both cool, will let me nerd out on my comp all day if i choose to do so and my dad never yells at me really.
Or live with my mom, i doubt i would be happy living with her, she is easily irritable and usually talks shit about my dad and his family (grandparents) and she gets emotionally unstable every time my dad goes on a weeks vacation.
Now i obviously want to live with my dad, but i cant choose between one without hurting the other, and like said im quite moralfaggy and dont want to live with the regret/guilt. If i live with my dad, my mom would get all pissed and (hopefully never talk to me again so i domt feel guilty) constantly make me feel guilty. And if i live with my mom i will feel like a dick for basically flipping my dad the bird. I know this sounds ridiculous obviously you guys would dad over mom if in this situation. The problem is shes expecting me to live with her, this is why it feels awkward everytime i talk to her, she is planning all these projects and saying we should go on vacation and stuff just making it even harder for me to say no without feelig EXTREMELY bad about it. I dont want to live with her, but dont want to hurt her by saying no. And dont want to say no to my dad and hurt him, as i would likely never see him from that point on till im 18.
TL;DR: | Man up and tell my mon to fuck off or be a moralfag and live with my mom so at least i dont feel bad |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [22M] hasn't read love letter/looked at 1 yr gift. Am I [19F] justifiably upset?
POST: So my boyfriend is 22 & I am 19. I know, it sounds weird but it works. For our one year, which was about two weeks ago now, I used a small leather notebook to write out one thing for every day of the year for him to read. Little things like 'I love you because..' to small sketches of inside jokes. The idea was he looks at one entry each day we're apart, considering we're in a long distance relationship and see each other about every other weekend. It also included a love letter which he could read at any time.
Now I can understand if he misses a day or two in a row, but he literally hasn't read any of it yet. Some are very specific entries like 'the first day we're apart' & I feel embarrassed and upset now. I worked very hard on this and he still hasn't really looked at it. I tried to brush it off when he said he'd read it that night when I mentioned it, but he didn't look at it even when he said he would. I don't want to feel like I'm putting an unwanted burden on him, I thought he'd like it.
So my question is, am I being a psychotic girlfriend or is it rational that I'm kind of upset about this?
TL;DR: | Gave boyfriend love letter/daily journal entry combo for one year anniversary in a long distance relationship & he hasn't looked at it, even when he said he would. Am I a crazy girlfriend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] stayed the night at my ex's (sort of ex) [23F] lived together for nine months then broke up (room mates turned lovers), where do I stand?
POST: Back ground is this. Me and this girl used to live together and we started to sleep together. There were definitely feelings between us but it ended up moving way to fast, we started fighting and she fell back on we were never official and it was just sex.
6 months later we have started talking again and hung out a few times. We have been really getting along talking on the phonw for hours at a time.
Last night we were at drinks at a mutual friends and we were really clicking flirting lots of touching. We left and ended up back at her place talking flirting more. I wasnt going to try and rush in and mess things up to much so i wasnt or do anything to quick due to our history.
She has then suggested we head to bed. She goes into her room i go to join her as i used to then. She has just said no thats not happening.
I played it cool pretended i wasnt rejected (i totally was cut) laughed it off and slept on the couch.
At the moment im super confused as to what she wants or if i am ultimately friendzoned or something. She is never the kind of girl who is afraid of sex but turns it down if she doesnt want it.
Why question over all is what is going on? where do I stand? Is this slow steps to try and rekindle something? Or am i epicly friendzoned sleeping on her couch.
TL;DR: | Been clicking with my ex lately flirting touching ended up back at hers. Got told not sleeping with her ended up on the couch. Still on the couch as I post this. Whats going on? Where do I stand? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I think a friend of mine is being coy; should I call her out on it?
POST: Backstory : I've known this girl for a few years, we first met through a class we were both taking. At the time, there was some drama with a mutual friend, but we kind of moved past it. We hooked up briefly (nothing super serious, just messing around) a couple years ago, and then grew a bit more distant. This year, though, we've been hanging out/talking a little bit more. Recently, we hooked up again, after going out for drinks. Summer's coming, probably not going to stay super close, but she and I kept saying stuff like "hey we should get lunch sometime." Now, I'll try and talk to her and she'll either not respond at all, or respond days later with a "Sorry! Yea, I'd like to hang out, let me know when!" Then randomly she'll message me *back* and say "We should hang out!" [and not necessarily, though possibly, drunk messages, usually in the afternoon or early evening].
My question then is thus; I feel like there's some dumb mind-game I'm missing here. I mostly want to hang out and talk to her, as she and I will be parting ways soon (graduating from school); if she wants to keep hooking up, I'm also down. Do I call her out, along the lines of "Hey, why can't we seem to connect?" or more passive aggressively "Why are you ignoring me?" etc? Call it a lost cause, and forget about her unless she comes knocking? I don't want to be a douche, or seem whiney, but I just don't really know wtf is going on.
TL;DR: | Girl and occasional hookup has been playing "hard to get" or something dumb, not sure what to do: do I play into it, or put a stop to the bullshit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Just found out after months of work on buying a house that I got approved for the main loan but not the DPA loan. Have a week at most to come up with the down payment.
POST: So on top of that which was in the title let me explain my situation.( fair warning I am on mobile)
I started off early March looking for a house to buy with a CHFA loan with down payment assistance. The reason I started looking was my mother's wonderful landlord dropped off the face of the earth, never paid his mortgage and caused her house to go into foreclosure (lived there for 15 years) while he was collecting a overpriced amount of rent for a run down property. I have been working non stop for 5 years at my current job and had some money saved up when I found out what happened ( I was living with my girlfriend at the time ).
Now I find a house that has enough room for me and the gf, as well as my mom and sister. Go through the paperwork send stuff back and forth. Have to pay more and more random fees which I was expecting. Now we had to wait for fha to approve the loan, I was told that everything looked fine time and time again.
Now comes to yesterday I find out that the loan company approved the loan for the house but not the down payment assistance which covered closing costs and the 3.5% down payment.
The old house has been in foreclosure for a while and were down to the last week and its getting to the point where we are scared of getting locked out ( I moved back in to help ).
Now my mortgage broker wants 3.5% (6000$) and closing costs (9000$). I was told that closing costs can be covered by raising my interest rate from 3.0% to around 5.25%.
Now I have to try to get all the money from my 401k and savings just to attempt to get the down payment...what do I do. Sorry for the long post
TL;DR: | Previous landlord never paid his mortgage so family was getting kicked out. Now I'm getting told last minute that I need to cover the down payment with no notice |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing with soccer nets
POST: This didn't actually happen today, but many, many years ago when I was in 3rd grade, I think 2001 or 2002. The school had just gotten some soccer net frames that for a while were just down to bare metal. I liked to play on them during recess, since there wasn't a jungle gym on the school's playground, and the back end made a great balance beam. For a while it was pretty fun, and other kids joined in too.
But one day it all changed. The soccer net frames seemed a bit different for some reason. I thought nothing of it while I was playing on it. Then soon my teacher runs over yelling at me. He tells me to get off of there because the frames got painted white and they were drying. He makes me go to the classroom for the rest of recess as punishment.
This is where I FU. As I was walking back to the classroom I tried to tell my teacher I didn't know I couldn't play on the frames. However, he wasn't paying much attention to what I said, and thought I was cussing him out under my breath. This made me lose recess for the whole week
To add insult to injury, I also had to go to the counselor's office with the other "troubled" kids at random times during the rest of elementary school. Some kids just stopped talking to me, and tried to stay away in case I tried to make them say bad words. My reputation in elementary school instantly became the childhood equivalent of a rapist.
TL;DR: | I tried to explain to my teacher that I didn't get warnings about not playing with stuff and became a convicted school-wide criminal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] with my ? [31F]. Are we going to fast?
POST: So, I left the '?' up there, because even I don't know what going on. I met this girl in a club and we've hit it off quite well. The obligatory adding to the Facebook and such. Turns out that she's a church-going girl and not too keen on going out to clubs and such. Self-employed, college graduate, a looker, etc.
Now, last week, I ran into her in the supermarket parking lot. We said hello, a hug and a peck on the cheek, exchanging pleasantries. Since then, we've been talking and "getting to know each other", via FB.
Now, my issue is that she's been using "darling" and "honey" and sweetheart". It was all good and well, until she dropped the "mi amor (my love)" bomb on my. This made my PTSD (from a previous relationship) tingle and cringe.
Just to clarify, my previous relationship was a total nightmare, which has not ended yet (there is still a matter of a lawsuit). However, I wouldn't like to screw up a possibly good thing, just because of the ghost of bitches past. At the same time, due to the scars of the past, I'm looking at to many red flags, that could be just my imagination.
TL;DR: | met girl, getting to know girl, dropped the big one today (mi amor). PTSD (from previous relationship) dropping all kinds of red flags up in here. Should I be worried? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: We are 21, go to the same college, been together for 5.5 years, and Now I dont know what to do, i think I am losing her, what should i do?
POST: I've been with this girl since we were juniors in high school. I could have played division three soccer so that I could be with her. I joined the only college that we both got accepted to simply to be with her (i hate the college).
She means everything to me, but i took her for granted. We both got into the groove of things and then she got drunk one night and cheated on me. I partly blame myself for being so lazy and losing track of what was important.
She wants me to be more romantic, and I want to do that for her now, but i am afraid that it is too late. Shes gone now, because we decided to be away from eachother until she comes up with a definite answer about what we should not with our relationship. What should i do? Should I wait for answer? I was thinking of dropping off her favorite flower on the front door of her house (maybe with a poem i made? I already made 3) for every day that she is gone.
AMA if you want to know more about what is going on between us, i want to know what you think, reddit.
TL;DR: | she kind of cheated on me, though she says she cant really remember, we are trying to build this relationship back up, but i dont know what to do anymore. I need some advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Getting defamed on the Internet, affecting my work life and life in general. Should I involve a lawyer?
POST: (NE) As the title says, I'm being targeted in an online gossip forum and it's taken a toll on my work life and mental state. The website is the very first thing when googling my name, and it's very hurtful and nasty stuff. Looking into the website, they only remove a post if there is provable false in (claiming I have an std when I can produce a medical report claiming I do not, or lawyer intervention).
Long story short, a guy texted me looking to hook up, I declined, his girlfriend saw the texts and went APESHIT on me. She completely disregarded the fact that I turned him down numerous times and all that, I have all the texts saved on my phone as proof, to which she replied "I don't give a shit about those, your a home wrecker and a piece of shit" yada yada yada. Well, I got a call from a friends PARENT asking if I knew about what had be put up. What's even worse, she used a photo of myself and my brother in his military clothes, which is not cool for him, although he's not aware of it.
I'm wondering if I have legal basis to get a lawyer involved to send a cease and desist letter or if it could be escalated to suing to get this damn post down. She (the poster and her friend, who supposedly made it) will not listen to me when I ask them to remove it. It's turned into quite a mess, and although I've been great about ignoring it, I can't help but think it's hurting my yoga teaching career, as it comes above my yoga page.
Any advice would be appreciated. She keeps claiming I'm the bad person, but with everything I have saved from her and her boyfriends attacks, it's clear they are the instigators. She even said "you messed with the wrong crazy girlfriend" after showing her I turned him down each time! And begged him to leave me alone.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far.
TL;DR: | gossip on the Internet slandering my name with untrue claims, hurting my business and my life in general. Have proof that I'm not in the wrong and she is just a nasty, crazy girlfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: *Update* I [22f] talked about breaking up with my [20m] boyfriend. I feel like I should explain a few more things.
POST: Link to first post:
Last night we were watching a movie, when his brother, A, decided to also watch a movie. He always plays it way too loud and the bass shakes the entire house. We've asked him to turn it down millions of times. I have misophonia so I get irrational and furious to those kinds of triggers. Anyway, so instead of asking to turn it down and getting ignored, I decided to slam doors and cupboards and things to annoy A and some random girl he was with. It was immature, I know. But my boyfriend got extremely upset with me and his brothers and it kind of got out of hand.
We talked about breaking up because he can't handle the stress of taking care of his parents house, taking care of his brothers, their animals, and also worrying about me. He's always worried that I'm angry at him. He's always asking what's wrong. Sometimes I get so annoyed by it that I end up ignoring him, which drives him crazy. I almost always tell him the truth about how I'm feeling the first time he asks. But he almost never believes me.
So we ended up not breaking up. We didn't really fix much of anything. The only thing that really happened was that he asked me to try to take control of my misophonia. He says he's sick of being the middle man, always asking his brothers to be quiet or turn it down. So I agreed to put in headphones or ask them myself. Whatever. It's not like I haven't tried that before.
I still want to break up. He doesn't because he realizes that if I left, he wouldn't have the money to live in his parents house or buy a car or go to school without having to work. I want to leave, but I don't want to pretty much ruin his life. I don't know how to tell him how I really feel. I don't know how to make him realize I'm unhappy. I've told him a million times, but it just doesn't stick. Sorry, I just need more advice.
TL;DR: | We had a fight, talked about breaking up, I ended up compromising again. How do I make him realize I am really unhappy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (25f) having issues with Facebook but my fiancé (25m) doesn't understand.
POST: We've been together 4 years. I had two miscarriages and have been trying to conceive, now not getting pregnant at all since my second loss. I literally cannot keep seeing my friends on social media, specifically Facebook, get pregnant every week. It breaks me down. It makes me feel insecure, that I'm not a real woman, jealous, that something is wrong with me. I feel like a monster.
Hiding these people wouldnt work as a new one pops up and I just want a break. I asked him if he would temporarily (maybe permanently) deactivate Facebook with me. He's on it a lot and would tell me updates or ill see his page now and then when he's on our shared computer. He doesn't understand how much it would help me even after I explained it. I'm starting to get frustrated with it.
Am I asking too much? How can we compromise?
TL;DR: | fiancé won't deactivate with me so I can heal after miscarriages without seeing pregnancy posts. How to compromise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Need some advice on a potentially huge promotion.
POST: So a quick background: I work overqualified. Every one around me is by no means nearly good at the same job. I continue to bust out big numbers every day, without fail. Mind you I am college educated and working with 19 year olds working at a web start up that recently got a huge investment.
I was approached and asked about how things are ran. I said my greivences, my solutions, and what I personally dislike -- which is essentially me feeling underemployed and me wanting more action. I was told that I am viable to get the position for running this office of 20 or so pending I start showing more initiative.
Here lays the problem: I do my job at 50% not because I want to do my current role at 50, but because I find it not exciting at all, yet I manage to out perform every one. They want me at 100 but I just can't find the excitement in this position so it is hard to muster the enthusiasm they are looking for.
Drunk
TL;DR: | What is the best way to approach this: Asking for 110 but it's hard to find enthusiasm to give 110. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] want to get to know my recently windowed neighbor [50sF] but don't know how to see her.
POST: Hello everyone
I am a 21 year old male living at home with the parents for the summer until school starts. The other day I was getting ready for a dinner party when our neighbor (behind our house) rang our doorbell to talk to us about our fence (it was damaged in a storm, we are going to split the cost to fix it).
The neighbor is an older woman, early 50s maybe late 40s, who I had never seen before. She was actually in shape and good looking for her age, and was also really generous and friendly. I introduced myself when she came and went upstairs to finish getting ready, but could still overhear the conversation she was having with my parents.
She was really chatty and told us her husband and dog recently passed away. They never had kids, but watched over a nephew who recently left for college. She is living alone and spoke about possibly moving into a smaller home. This immediately caught my attention. While I have hooked up and casually dated women my age, I have always been interested in getting to know an older woman. It may have to do with where I work (lots of good looking older women). I'm also really mature and old fashioned compared to other men my age.
Ever since she came to talk to us I can't stop thinking about her. It sounds silly but I really want to meet her and at least get to know her, I just don't know how. I've thought about ringing her doorbell for some bullshit reason regarding the fence t try and talk to her, but I don't know if that is the best approach. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | I want to get to know my neighbor who is an attractive older woman, she was recently widowed and lives alone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my boyfriend [25M] together a year, I need an outside perspective to all of this
POST: So a little bit of back story. My SO and I have known each other since we were young teenagers. We've always had a thing for each other but never dated; however, we have been very close friends ever since we met. A couple of years ago I was dating another guy and we had a little boy together. Bio dad didn't want anything to do with us, which was fine by me. I went off on my own and did really well being a single mother.
Throughout my pregnancy my SO was very supportive and the old flame we had started to rekindle. He would say things like I wish it was ours. Fast forward 5 months and we finally decided to slowly start dating. Everything was going really well, and he loved playing the dad role. I always insisted that he didn't need to do that unless he truly wanted to. Fast forward another 5 months he wanted us to move in together, but we both wanted to move out of state. So we ended up moving back to where he's from.
Things were still just as wonderful after we moved up until 4 months ago when he started his new job. He is always angry and moody now. He doesn't interact with my son at all unless he is yelling at him for my son just being a baby. My son is scared of him and my son cries if he tries to get close. My SO has left some bruises on my son when just doing basic things with him like teeth brushing, nail clipping, diaper changing, etc. I have had very serious talks with him about this and he apologizes but doesn't see the big deal of it. He's not hitting my son but grabs or holds my son so hard SO leaves the bruises. I no longer leave my son alone with SO and don't let my SO near my son without being present. I don't know what to do! Do I leave and not look back like I'm thinking about doing or do I stay and try to make things work?? Am I overreacting to this or am I right to not let him near my kid?? Please help reddit!!
TL;DR: | My SO wanted to be a father to my son who isn't his, but is now leaving minor bruises and yelling at my son. Do I leave or do I stay and try to make it work?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (21/F) with my BF (31)- We cant walk the dogs peacefully bc hes too focused on dominating them
POST: This isn't a major issue or anything, but it bothers me a little.. I really love going on walks, especially with the dogs. Its been nicer weather here so we've been doing it more often. But when we walk the dogs, we cant just walk peacefully and enjoy the scenery & talk because he's too focused on correcting the dogs and not letting them 'lead'. He believes that "we should be leading them and they should just causally walk by our side. Don't let them walk ahead/don't let them lead". He says its essential for their training but I feel like he's taking this too seriously. We have two dogs so I walk one and he walks the other. The dogs are good but you can see them trying to get ahead of eachother like its a race to the front (if that makes sense lol). He's always asking me to pull hard on the leash, sometimes making them cough which worries me that I'm hurting them. He's also watches to see if I correct them and he will get mad at me for not 'doing it right'. wtf!?
How do i deal with this? It sometimes makes our walks unenjoyable and I understand it trains them, but can't we just walk them like normal people? Its getting really annoying...I've told him its not a big deal but he says its really important and that we have to do it. He will get frustrated with me about it too.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend takes walking the dogs too seriously and constantly watching me to see if I correct them & tug on their leash. It's making the walks unenjoyable and I know its silly... but What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Santa Claus: Man or Myth?
POST: (Haha, yes I'm posting in the right sub. Sorry for the cheesy title, all the rest I came up with were really long run on sentences.)
Very recently someone posted a thread asking about some of the ridiculous things you've been judged for as a parent. I did see several posts about Santa Claus. People wrote being considered "bad parents" because they either "ruined the magic" for their children by being upfront about the fact that Santa doesn't exist, or showing their kids "it's okay to lie" because they believe in Santa.
Enough people wrote about it that it kind of stuck with me. First off, I think it's absurd that anyone would judge a person's parenting skills on how they handle the Santa issue! I mean seriously, why is it such a big deal to them whether or not the parent chooses to let their kids believe in Santa or tell them the truth?
Secondly, everyone seemed to have very different reasons for why they chose the decision they chose, and I thought that was pretty interesting.
So my question is, for those who celebrate Christmas, does your household believe in Santa, or did you tell your kids from the start that he wasn't real? What was your reason? Do you ever regret it and if so, why?
TL;DR: | Right from the start did you tell your child(ren) there's no such thing as Santa or do you let your kids think Santa is real? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my [27F] girlfriend of one year, needing advice on how to break up
POST: I have been with my girlfriend for one year. We had a very romantic beginning and have gone from long distance to living together in that time. We have lived together for 6 months and we are amazing together.
We are both very much in love and tell each other so on a daily basis. We argue over small things occasionally and it has finally dawned on me why...
She is an extremely committed christian. I was luke warm about it at best when we got together. Now after attending church with her and studying the bible with her i am more certain than ever in my life that i have no belief in any of it and i have no desire to live my life with any religious focus.
I have come to the conclusion that despite still being in love with her i need to come clean and break it off. She is already talking about marriage and kids and i know that my thoughts are totally incompatible with her view of the future. Its now or never and i have decided its the right thing..
My question to reddit is how do i do it? She is going home in 2 weeks and we are going long distance again (by necessity) for a short time. The problem is that since i have come to this realization i want to tell her and get it over with as soon as possible :( Do i tell her all this now, do i let her enjoy our 2 weeks and do it right before she leaves? Or do i do it over the phone or skype once she is gone?
I dont want it to seem like i am just taking the easiest route for me, i want the path which will result in absolute minimum heartbreak for this girl. I truly love her and this whole thing completely sucks. :(
Thanks for any replies.
TL;DR: | I have decided to break up with my girlfriend. Do i do it now or in 2 weeks when she is leaving for a while? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] am struggling to accept what my girlfriend [19 F] has done in previous relationships.
POST: So my girlfriend, who I will call Beth, and I have just recently started dating which I am really happy about. I have liked her for months, so when we started dating I couldn't be happier! We are open with each other and have already had sex. I just want to point out I am really happy with her.
My problem is with what she has done with her ex's. To be honest, it is nothing too crazy, and I had asked her about it so this is my fault. She told me what she has done and it is bothering me. She did not even know me when she did this stuff, but I think I have a mixture of jealousy from just thinking about her with other guys and wanting to do some of the stuff she has done. She has already said she wants to do that stuff with me and she is open to doing more with me so I really shouldn't be upset. I would just appreciate any input from someone who has been in my situation. I want to state that I am not mad at her at all. If I am mad at anyone, it is at myself. I feel childish having these feelings, but I cannot figure out how to just let it go.
TL;DR: | Asked my girlfriend if she has done some 50 shades of grey stuff/bothered by it/want to get over it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (25F) boyfriend (24M) and I are in very different places financially, not sure if this a problem or not.
POST: The situation: I am not in poverty and my boyfriend is not uber-wealthy, but there is a very significant disparity in our financial situations. I have just begun making enough to save, I have 5-figure student debt and will probably take on more in the next few years for grad school. He has no debt and has a sizable savings account.
We have been dating about 2 years and although I have been enjoying our relationship thus far, I am concerned that the discrepancy between our finances will become a problem in the future, when he starts to do things like buy a house and invest, and I'll still have several years left on my loans.
My question is whether this is an actual issue that I need to bring up now, or if it is something that can reasonably be left to be addressed as it becomes relevant. Thanks for any advice.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is better off financially for now and I am not sure if this is cause for concern in the future or if I am worrying too much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: Mental Battles!!!
POST: So a few years ago I decided I wasn't happy with my life and decided to lose it. As of now I'm 30 lbs down from when I started, but what irks me is that I was 40 lbs down but regained the 10.
I got to 160 (40 down) last march, and I posted pics to bb's website asking for a bf estimate which was agreed to be 12%. I must have slight body days morphia because I thought I was like 18% and I let it get to me and I thought "hey this is awesome now I can relax my diet and eat maintenance"
Long story short I'm up 10 lbs or more since because I have no mental strength or moderation. This wasn't a 10 lb nice bulk for strength but an up and down low cal binge fest. I've always had binging problems but it used to be like 1k cals over maintenance 1 time every week or two, but during this increase it's become 3000 cals over maintenance more than once a week. I understand it's all mental but I just really suck at keeping strong.
TL;DR: | I used to be at my goal weight and didn't know how good I looked, have binged back to a 10lb or more fat increase since March and can't seem to win mental battles stopping me from getting back to 160 lbs |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [33F] boyfriend [41M] regifted me a necklace he previously gave to an ex
POST: For mother's day this year, my boyfriend presented me with this beautiful jadeite necklace that he said he got when he was in another country years ago. I really love the necklace, it's original and beautiful.
While going through facebook photos, I ran across a picture of him and his ex and she's wearing the same necklace. I don't know or have any bad blood with his ex-girlfriends so I'm not really concerned in that area but I find the idea overall cheesy and I'm kind of irritated by it. Am I overreacting? Should I bother asking him about it or should I just let it go?
TL;DR: | Am I overreacting by being irritated that a necklace I received for mother's day was originally an ex-girlfriend's present? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Rear-ended by rental car, company now saying I am responsible (HI)
POST: In February I was hit by tourists in a rental car. As far as everyone involved in the accident could tell, it was the fault of a young stoned teenager who hit the first car which caused the chain reaction of three other cars rear-ending each other before finally hitting me. I was the last to get hit in the domino effect and I didn't hit the car in front of me. I was the one who called the police and everyone received a copy of the "police report". It didn't list the circumstances of the incident just names/numbers/etc of the people involved. I called my insurance company immediately after and slowly the investigation has been coming along. However, today in the mail I received a letter from "Alamo rent a car" stating that "after careful review of the facts of this loss, our initial investigation has determined you may be negligent and therefore responsible for our damages. If you do not have insurance or wish to pay the claim yourself a bill will be sent to you ....". What gives? I didn't cause the accident and by some miracle the rental didn't have any damage from being hit, nor did it have any from hitting my car. My car was damaged by the rental car. I tried calling both alamo, as well as my insurance company but I'm in HST and so everything is closed. TIA.
TL;DR: | rental car hit me after being rear-ended, rental car company now saying i'm responsible and will be sending a bill. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with FWB [26M] of a month, this doesn't seem typical, how do I keep it running smoothly?
POST: Hi!
I was dumped a little more than a month ago. My heart is a mess and all I want right now is great sex and no feelings! It's been working out pretty well so far.
I met A about a month ago online. A is attractive, has kinks similar to mine, and is attracted to me but also deals with a lot of personal issues that make me reluctant to date him. Perfect for a FWB situation! I also date and sleep with other people on the side. I assume he does the same.
Due to said personal issues, A takes medication that makes it hard for him to actually get it up. So while our FWB situation started with sex and other ways of getting off, we're at the point where we don't have any kind of sexual interaction because it makes him feel inadequate and frustrated. We see each other multiple times a week to hang out, eat junk food, watch TV/movies. He cuddles with me and holds my hand. We spend the night at each other's place, hang out with his roommates, spend hours together. He kisses my forehead. We don't have any deep conversations and don't really talk outside of our hangouts, but he'll at times show insecurity regarding feeling inadequate.
We've had a discussion and made it clear we were not exclusive or dating, but I'm starting to wonder if this is a good idea at all. I told him I was confused about our set-up considering we were not having sex at all, and he got very hurt. I felt bad for hurting him, apologized, and we're back at our cuddles/hangout routine.
Is this an acceptable thing to keep going? I understand that the fact that I even wonder about this makes it likely I should put an end to it.
TL;DR: | FWB and I don't actually have sex, spend most of our time hanging out and cuddling. Is this a bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [25 F], not feeling safe or comfortable with myself and thus the relationship
POST: My GF and I have been together almost a year now. I've always had anxiety and personal problems with loving myself and feeling comfortable with others loving me, and its starting to create a lot of conflict and trouble in the relationship.
I think the problem is I try to stop the anxiety once it kicks in, not stopping it at the source before it kicks in. I've been reading about it this morning and I think it comes from not having emotional integrity, or feeling comfortable with myself as who I am and thus not feeling comfortable with someone else loving who I am. It creates a feeling of co-dependence on her happiness and acceptance of me to feel safe and when I feel like that is slipping away, I get anxiety.
I start acting in ways that make me feel safe (constantly looking for assurances that she does indeed still love me) and this pushes her away from showing that as I think it makes her feel like she is being forced into showing it. This stops my personality from truly showing, which is what she loves, because I become so self consumed with worry and anxiety. So the question becomes, how do I find acceptance, safety, and love with myself and not look for that in relationships and being co-dependent?
I know if I keep this up I will no longer be able to give her the satisfaction in the relationship, and give her the feelings of trust and emotional safety she needs. I know its impossible to give these answers to someone in a short message over reddit, but has anyone else gone through this person struggle? How did you overcome it? What advice can you give me?
TL;DR: | I don't feel comfortable with who I am and it is creating a co-dependance on my partners love and acceptance to feel happy. How can I take steps to accepting myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [Probate Advice Needed] My mother's estranged husband passed away last Sunday. [United States]
POST: I am posting today in hopes that somebody can point me in the right direction for how best to help my mother. Her husband passed away last Sunday and I am worried that due to her meek and easy-going personality that she will get taken advantage of by his family (specifically his two sisters) during the probate process. (This suspicion is NOT unfounded but it IS another story)
They have been married for ~~13~~ 19 years but estranged for the last ~~6~~ 8 years or so. He lived in the same house up to the day he died that they shared before they became estranged. She did sign a pre-nuptial but insofar as she understands the language was mostly to protect the house in the even that she divorced him (which never happened). They had a few joint checking and credit accounts that she never removed herself from but for which she did cut up the cards long ago.
I spoke with my dad (layman) and he basically said she needs to lawyer up with a probate attorney and that one could likely be found by contacting a legal aid office, but I have no idea what criteria would be used for her to select an attorney.
A bit of context: My mother is the most kind, honest and easy-going person in the world. She is so meek in fact that she very rarely (if ever) fights for what is hers and so that is why I am trying to help her... only to make sure that she doesn't get steam-rolled. Just looking for some honest advice here.
Thank much for taking the time to read this, it is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | My mom's husband passed away and is one who will rarely if ever stick up for herself... I am trying to help protect her from her estranged husband's family's greed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Why am I [19M] so jealous of my girlfriend [19F]?
POST: Hi guys, I'm currently in a long distance relationship, which became this way around 4 weeks ago. It's been 6 months since we started dating.
Anyway, around a week ago she started university half around the world from me, and has been telling me about all the friends she's been making, who her co-ed roommates are, how she's been going out often and stuff like that. My problem is that I've noticed I'm getting extremely jealous - to the point where I can safely say I'm being absolutely ridiculous, yet I just can't help but feel these emotions.
Like for example yesterday she said she went to grab some beers with her male room mate (who she just met) and his friends, and inside I was spewing with jealously and envy. Is this common? How can I stop being so fucking jealous? I hate it. I'm getting secretly mad at her constantly when she's doing absolutely nothing wrong. She really is the kindest girl and I know (hope) she would never cheat on me. Long distance fucking sucks.
TL;DR: | Long distance relationship; GF just started uni and is making new friends. I'm becoming a jealous mo'fo. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23/F] can not stop lying to my [23/M] boyfriend. How can I stop compulsively lying?
POST: We've been together for close to 8 1/2 years and I've always had this issue with lying. I lie about little and big things. We've had issues in the past and I have always tried to better myself but always end up reverting back to the way things were before.
For example, I'll say I won't lie any more or I'll say I'll pick up my clothes but I'll do it for a few days but then I'll go right back to being lazy. I'm not sure what to do about myself.
My boyfriend says he no longer cares about the relationship and doesn't want to deal with the stress of both me and him. I recently lost my job, am not happy and did not have very much savings for us. I ended up getting a job as a server but has not been much money in my pocket or his. He is going through with stressing about money to keep us from going under, work is stressful and of course us.
We don't do much together any more. About a week ago while I was at work he said that he thought either we needed to change something or take a break because it was getting to be too much. He suggested a few things and I told him those were good ideas however I said we would need to talk about those things later on. I never brought it up again because it was pretty much out of sight out of mind.
Now, I'm not sure exactly where to go from here. I feel like every day I am just trying to get by and he said he feels like I'm just dragging him down with my negativity. I hope you guys can help.
TL;DR: | I need help to stop lying and need help bettering my relationship with my boyfriend because I can't afford going to a therapist. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [26/f] worried my boyfriend [26/m] is falling back into smoking again.
POST: I don't know if I am being unfair or unreasonable, but, that's why I am hoping someone may be able to give me some advice/insight on how to handle this situation.
My boyfriend smoked when we first started dating. I told myself I would never date a smoker, personal reasons, but yet I felt he was worth forgetting that rule for. He is. He is an amazing person. I won't ever deny that.
The problem is, we've been together a year and a half...and the last six months of our relationship he maybe had 1 cigarette. He quit. It was amazing. No more smoke breath, no more standing out in the cold or waiting for him to finish a cigarette. No more imagining what every breath he took while inhaling that cigarette was doing to his lungs... it's been great.
Unfortunately he's been slowly getting back into it...and at first he started hiding it from me. I put a hoodie on of his and in the pocket was a wrapper from a box of cigarettes. I confronted him about it and he claimed it wasn't his. He isn't normally one to lie, but I am not sure if that was the truth or not.
Then slowly but surely he eventually started smoking in front of me. This obviously bums me out, and when he smokes I end up getting really sad and give him the cold shoulder. I don't do it to be mean, or to punish him, I just can't help but feel disappointed and hurt... thinking about all the progress he's made. I understand it must be hard for him to not smoke when nearly all of his friends smoke...I'd say 95% of them do. I also recognize it is an addiction that many people never can fully quit.
He says it's wrong of me to ignore him or give him the cold shoulder just because I feel it's a bad choice for him. Idk...it may be. I just can't hide that it makes me sad and that I'm disappointed when I know he's smoking. I don't do it to be mean. I really don't.
Any advice/tips/thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I am stressed out every time my boyfriend smokes. He quit for 6 months and just started up again. Not sure how to handle it. I can't help but give him the cold shoulder any time he lights up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My(22M) girlfriend(21F) left me after two years of dating out of the blue.
POST: Howdy,
Just wanted to talk to someone I guess. As the title says, my girlfriend left me last November, after two years of dating. It happened suddenly and out of the blue. And I still can't wrap my head around it.
We've had a fairly happy relationship for the two years that were dating. Sure, we had arguments here and there, but overall it was good. I was happy and she seemed rather happy. In fact, her dad and I were talking about us marrying sometime down the road. I even got to celebrate her sister's wedding with her, we caught the garter and the flowers that night.
Alas, two weeks after her sister's wedding she went on a camping trip with some of her college friends. When she came back, she became somewhat distant and hard to reach. Her mom and her were fighting again and she was going through finals, so I attributed it to that. But then, two weeks after she told me that was leaving me.
She told me that it wasn't my fault and that I'd done nothing wrong. She told me that she has become complacent with me. That she had priorities that she needed to focus on like working out and losing weight, getting a job and finishing college. Finding out what she wanted to do with her life. And that she needed space for all of that.
And so she left.That was it. The short few times we came in contact to get some of my stuff back was like pulling teeth. She essentially hid from me or would bail on me. It all ended up with my stuff getting to me through someone else.
What did I do wrong? Why does it still upset me? And why is it so hard for me to go out on dates with other women(my friends thought that meeting other women would cheer me up, but alas it did not).
TL;DR: | After dating for two years, my girlfriend left me out of the blue. I did not see it coming and it has racked my confidence thoroughly. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [19/F] attracted to an older [50?/M] past instructor-not sure what to do
POST: I've stayed in touch for about 3 years with a past instructor. We regularly exchange emails and meet on occasion. I'm very attracted to him but unsure whether I should express these feelings and, if so, how. I've given up trying to discern any reciprocal attraction because he is older and I know that my judgement is biased.
As it stands our friendship (not sure what to call it) means a lot to me and I'm thankful just to have found a person like him, but I'm afraid that the suppression of my feelings towards him will prevent any growth from occurring in our friendship. I'm very timid and he is frustratingly appropriate so there are difficult boundaries to be tested, and because he is older I think that I'm the one to test them. I like that we've gotten to know each other at a relaxed pace but calm water soon grows stagnant.
The whole student-professor romance cliche doesn't help my situation and it's probable that he simply considers himself my mentor. But I'm in college and feel entitled (and expected) to pursue sex down all avenues. So there.
I don't believe I've asked a direct question here, but any advice or similar experiences would be much much appreciated.
TL;DR: | I'm awfully into a past instructor that I've known for 3 years. I have no expectations-do I go for it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by insulting a bunch of blind people at my job
POST: So, like most TIFU's, this didn't happen today. It was a couple weeks ago at my part time job at a climbing gym.
So, we have a system where people book a climbing party for two hours. Generally birthday parties, but you get the odd sports team that comes in. I show up and immediately notice something wrong with all the people. Opon closer investigation, the entire group was blind. So I'm like whatever thats cool that they still do activities while there blind.
Cut to the end of my shift. Every things gone fine, the group had really enjoyed it. As they're leaving, in comes my autism.
"**See** you guys later!"
They all say bye, then leave. My colleges turn and stare at me, really pissed off looking. I realise a second later what I had said.
TL;DR: | Tried to say goodbye to some blind people, accidently insulted/ looked like a class A asshole to my colleges. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I Have a Few Questions About Netbooks..
POST: I recently bought a "broken" HP laptop from my friend for $20 that I was able to fix and flip it for $275 profit. I was thinking about selling my aluminum macbook and use the $275 to upgrade to a new base aluminum macbook pro but started exploring the route of hooking my laptop up to an external monitor and getting a netbook. I'm a com science major so I'm not new to computer specs and everything, but I am new to the whole netbook thing. I really like the 11 hours or battery some of these things get compared to the 2 1/2 I seem to get with my macbook. I hate having to turn my screen all the way down and worrying about where the closets outlet is.
Yesterday I took some brochures from Target and Best Buy just to view them on my lunch break. I came home and started looking around and found this one. It seems like it's a little performer compared to the other stuff I saw but is the "0.3 megapixel webcam with security lens adds additional protection " a joke? Do they really sell these with 0.3MP cameras? Is that the standard for these if they have them? What can you even use a .3mp camera for? If you guys have any good recommendations for a great netbook, please let me know. Thanks!
p.s. Are there any upcoming netbooks I should wait for?
TL;DR: | Flipped a Laptop for about $300 profit and would like you help finding me a solid netbook for taking notes, cruising Reddit, and running automotive tuning software that isn't screaming fingerprints or covered in stupid designs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with friend(?) [28ish F] of ~2 years, she's really difficult to be around but has latched onto me.
POST: A couple of years ago my dad and I got into a hobby that doesn't have many female participants, and joined a local group that consists mostly of people my dad's age and older to do said hobby. I quite enjoy doing our hobby with them and my dad, but don't socialise with them outside of hobby-related activities.
One of the guy we know's niece (let's call her Kate) sometimes comes along. She doesn't have an interest in the hobby, but struggles socially. She is disabled, has learning difficulties, and apparently doesn't have a social circle outside of Church.
I pretty much have nothing in common with Kate, but I think I'm one of the only women close to her in age that she knows. I can enjoy hanging out with her on occasion, but it's quite tiring. Since I moved away to college, I'm not even in the same city as her most of the time, but she constantly sends me messages asking when I'll be around. I don't get chance to visit my hometown very often, and when I do I want to prioritise spending time with family and closer friends.
I feel bad even typing this out, but I'm a very busy person and she probably considers me a more important friend to her than she is to me. Should I try and put more of an effort in with her, or help suggest ways she can find friends that she'll be able to see more and have more in common with?
TL;DR: | Someone I know from doing a hobby has learning difficulties and struggles socially, she's latched onto me and I don't know how to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: I'm (19m) not sure if I should seek another chance with my now ex.
POST: I've known this girl for a year and a half now. A year of that time we were dating. There was a point in the relationship where I left the country for two weeks so we had pretty much no contact. During that time she took a liking for her male best friend. She broke up with me and went out with him for a month, maybe a little less. And then came back to me and asked for forgiveness and all that jazz.
After about 2 weeks, we started dating again. Everything was great. Obviously I didn't really want her talking to him but one day I saw that she was. I confronted her and she apologized and said she wouldn't do it anymore. Yet, it happened again about two days ago.
The reason I ask if I should seek another chance is because, the main reason she broke up with me was because she's asked me to change a couple of times and I never really did. She wanted me to stop being so selfish, to be more mature and not joke about everything, she wanted me to treat her more like a gf than a regular friend, and she wanted me to be more affectionate.
And the reason I brought up what happened with the guy was because the second time she was talking to him, I called her out on it and told her it's either me or him. She said she couldn't choose. The next day she tells me it's just not going to work between us because of how I am and how I haven't shown any effort to change for her. I feel like her and I aren't done yet, we have so much in common, the connection we have is incredible and she really can be a great girlfriend and all.
TL;DR: | She asked me to change, I always kind of brushed it off. As I didn't see what was wrong, since it's a habit now. Willing to show her I can change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22F] works as a stripper and I don't know how I tell my boyfriend [22M]
POST: I have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and I really like this guy. I met him in my class, he is just a overall great guy.
I told him I wanted to take things slow because, I don't want this to be just about sex. All my other relationships were just let's fuck as much as possible. I want to really form a connection with this guy.
I feel awful because I have been lying to him about my job. I work as a stripper, not a bar tender. I use to enjoy myself at my work, but ever since I started dating this guy I feel miserable there.
I feel guilty even though we have not had sex, he is really the only guy I want seeing me in that way.
Belive me I would quit but I am still in college and I can't find anywhere else to work. I have been looking for the past three months
It's 4 am here in California and I want to tell him tonight. But I don't even know what to say to him
TL;DR: | I work as a stripper, I want to tell my boyfriend but I don't even know what to say to him |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] only love my girlfriend [21 F] of 6 years some of the time. I am ADHD and Bipolar.
POST: I finally created a Reddit account simply to ask this question. I've attempted to research it for a long time now. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar disorder (and OCD, technically) a couple of months ago and have been undergoing treatment. Finally having an understanding of my problems has brought me a lot of relief and peace, as I now have hope for improvement. Living with these undiagnosed for so long has been problematic to say the least. However, even with the knowledge of these conditions, I still do not know if what inexperience toward my partner is normal.
I spend several days believing that I love my girlfriend, and cannot wait to get married once we're out of college. I spend the next several days believing that I do not love her at all, and am merely afraid of leaving her/loneliness, etc. I have no idea during those items if I have ever felt true love or just silly highschool love. No matter how many times this occurs, I believe whatever state I am in to be accurate. The problem is, I genuinely do not know which to be true. Do I think I love her when I'm manic, or do I think I do not when I am depressed? I honesty don't know what to trust.
I've tried reading about relationship problems with couples where one has my conditions, but no one seems to struggle from what I am describing. If anyone has ADHD and/or Bipolar Disorder or knows someone who does, I could really use some insight into if this is normal and how to deal with it. The stress of flipping every few days is immense, but I have no idea which one is the "real" me, so I cannot help it.
TL;DR: | I have ADHD and Bipolar Disorder and my love for my partner is inconsistent. Is this normal or should I leave? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Do I actually qualify for unemployment? (Washington State)
POST: I posted on here before, but can't recall my username. A couple months ago, the owner of the company I worked for fired the 2 managers of the company. One of those managers was the only scientist in the business approved and certified by the state of Washington to approve lab results. After the owner fired him, he demanded the rest of us (far from qualified or recognized by the state), continue to process samples and release results to the state and to individual customers. Part of processing the samples included signing off personally for each test completed. Since the state of Washington requires EACH sample result be PERSONALLY reviewed by a state approved scientist (who had just been fired), I spoke up and said we shouldn't be processing any more samples. The owner disagreed and made a comment about how the results aren't really that meaningful anyway. Only 1 person in the company agreed to continue. Under the demands of the owner, she continued to release results illegally. We all resigned the next day.
I filed for unemployment, and just got denied. His reasoning in the denial letter is that I "made assumptions that were incorrect." The reasoning offered by the state is that the terms of my resigning "does not fall within the criteria of the law to be considered good cause."
Here's why I am confused. There is a list provided in the letter that spells out all of the reasons for quitting that won't exclude me from receiving unemployment. "Illegal activities at the work site." The owner was insisting that I knowingly process samples when the only certified scientist had already been fired. No samples should have been processed after that. The business was audited by a third party company sent by the state recently, and was promptly shut down. One of the reasons listed for shutting it down was that results were sent to the state for samples that had been processed after the firing of the lead scientist. Am I misunderstanding? This is a state compliance lab that was intentionally faking compliance with the regulatory agency. I was BCCed on a response to a reporter about this issue. The reporter had a copy of the audit report and wrote that the owner tried to explain away the issue (and it didn't work) by saying that "the date on the reports were typos."
TL;DR: | Owner of company asked me to do something I think is illegal. I resigned. Unemployment was denied because owner said there was a "miscommunication." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my coworker/crush [22 F] it is complicated and I don't know what to do.
POST: Edit: So this girl started 3 months ago at my company, we've gotten pretty close through a carpool between just us, but she has a boyfriend. Before I knew she had a boyfriend I asked her out and she said she had to watch her nephew, which she ended up doing. She later agreed to carpool with me and she ended up telling me she had a boyfriend once we started driving together. (forgot this part)
At first I just had an infatuation because she is honestly a very beautiful girl. But that quickly turned into a crush as I got to know her better and found out how similar we are... Through her own words, her and her boyfriend style's are opposite and she will comment about how he doesn't do this, or how he does this, or how she can't do this with him. It is worth mentioning that one night while I was dropping her off, she commented on how she gets depressed when she is alone and that she doesn't feel like she has enough time for herself.
I feel as though she likes me because when we're talking together she'll giggle at things I say or she'll joke with me and then stare into my eyes or she'll bring up how warm the sweater is that I gave her.
But now this past week she has been pretty distant to me and I think it is because she thought I left her something on her desk that I didn't. When she asked if I left her something I said I didn't and she continued to press me about it; until she later found out it was someone else.
At this point I don't know what to do, I want to tell her how I feel about her because it is killing me to be around her, but I also don't want to loose her as a friend. People have been telling me that the best thing to do is just step away from the situation, but I don't want to miss out on a chance with someone like this. What do you guys think?
TL;DR: | Girl with boyfriend (of a couple months) is hot and cold around me and I feel like she is waiting for me to make a move, what do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: Cat outside had kittens.. help!
POST: Reddit:
My boyfriend and I have been taking care of several feral/stray cats over the past year. I am a college student living Orlando, FL and time and resources have made getting these cats neutered/spayed and vaccinated a slow process, but we're working on it. One of them has managed to adjust to a happy indoor life inside of our apartment and I had to have one euthanized after a 3 hour trip to an e-clinic for getting into anti-freeze in the parking lot.
I haven't been quick enough in my spay/neuter efforts, and one of my girls had kittens today. They are an adorable bunch of so-ugly-they're-cute rat creatures, but unfortunately I live in an apartment complex with neighbors who dislike cats, or that I've never said a word to once in living here for 2 years.
Our new Mama cat trusts my boyfriend and I.. enough to round us up and take us to her hours old kittens and show them off but doesn't like other people nearly as much. She was born feral and has turned into an odd mix of something between a feral cat and something a bit on the tamer side.
I am a bleeding heart and can't bear to think about these little ones not making it or ever being intentionally injured. I have phone calls into several shelters and am going to call the local humane society tomorrow. I am not worried about the kittens finding homes when the time is right, but am more worried about the mother.
Are there any shelters that would consider homing and fostering the kittens and releasing the mother to me to get spayed, vaccinated, and re-released? Has anyone ever dealt with any crap like this before? Relocation for the mother is not an option; there is nobody in the area willing to take her, even as a barn cat. I have been looking for the past 6 months.
I live in a tiny apartment with 2 cats and have no space to bring them inside and am at a loss. Is there anything that I haven't thought of?
TL;DR: | feralish stray cat had kittens today, having horrible visions of dead kittens and want to bang my head against a wall. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[18F] need help adjusting to a long distance relationship with my boyfriend[18M] of 2.5 years.
POST: So, my boyfriend and I graduated high school this year. We're both going to college in the fall, but he's going out of state (about 6 hours away). Our relationship is a very physical one in terms of affection. He has a hard time putting what he feels into words. I've been trying to get him to verbalize more (tips..?) via blogging.
He claims he misses me every night (and I do too), but when it comes to talking about him leaving, he doesn't get upset at all. Everyone is upset (and rather confused) with his decision to go that far from home during his first years as he's a total homebody. I'm nervous that he might realize how drastic it is when he gets down to college and I don't want him to fall into a depression. I'm so proud of him for chasing his dreams, but this is coming at a high cost, both financially and mentally. However, I'm glad he's doing something with himself compared to him not caring three years ago.
I'm nervous that I'm going to become kind of crippled by his departure. I know he loves me more than anything and we say we're soulmates (which I believe) but I can't help but fear for the things he can do without my knowledge. I trust him, but my insecurity kinda talks to me. :( I don't know what I'm going to do when I can't literally curl up in his arms and feel him stroke my hair to "soothe the savage beast", as I call it. He's really tame and has the patience of a saint. Granted, I'm going to be very busy. I have classes every day, all day, until the evening, and I'm commuting. I won't have much time to think "wow, I'm not gonna see him for x months". I wouldn't have much time to see him anyway (only just one day out of the weekend due to classes) so I suppose it won't be so harsh. I just need help adjusting. And maybe some cute things we can do over the distance to keep things happy and fresh?
TL;DR: | my boyfriend and I have a very close/physical relationship and he's leaving for an out of state college in a month. How can I adjust and how can we keep things fresh and happy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my coworker [24F], Want to know if I should try to date her.
POST: So I've been out of a long term relationship (3 1/2 years) for about 4 months now. I'm ready to start dating now and have met a very beautiful girl at work, lets call her MJ. She's really shy and quiet, but constantly I'll catch her looking over at me from across the room. When our eyes do meet, usually she is quick to look away. I've talked to her a few times but she seems nervous and conversations don't last too long.
Well just this last Friday, I invited MJ to come drink and play cards with me and my roommate and his girlfriend. I picked her up from her house and went to get the drinks and stuff. We talked quite a bit in the car and there were lots of exchanged smiles, but still I could tell she was nervous. We got back to my place and started right away with some cards against humanity. That was fun but I could tell MJ wasn't opening up yet. Even though we were sitting next to each other on the couch, she never initiated conversation with me, or anyone else really. I figured, because she is hanging out with new people, she will be a bit nervous. As the drinks went on, she got less talkative. Whenever my roommate would ask her a question about herself, she would quickly check to make sure I was paying attention before she answered. At one point, MJ leaned her whole body on me just trying to put cards down, but she didn't have to go that far.
Basically I am just trying to figure out if this girl actually likes me and is just extremely shy, or not. What I would like to know is if I should keep this a platonic acquaintance thing, or talk with her more and see if she opens up.
TL;DR: | Met a girl at work. Really shy but think she likes me. Want to know if I should keep trying to get her to open up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19F] with my roommate [20F], wants us to live in an apartment together next year, but I really want to live at home with family. What do?
POST: So I am in my second year at college and my roommate and I have lived together in dorm rooms since August of last year. She and I have talked about it in the past and I have always agreed to the idea because I don't want to hurt her feelings.
My boyfriend and I had the idea of living together once my third year started since we are long distance, but we've since realized that it's too soon and we need to save money and all that. Since then I've been doing a lot of thinking about my living situation for next year and as of late, I think I've made up my mind about living at home. My university is only a 30-40 minute drive from my house and my mom could really use the help around the house ever since my dad died earlier this year. I love my mom so fucking much, and my roommate is actually trying to make me feel bad because I've been going home every weekend to help her with cleaning and stuff.
I've been weighing the pros and cons of living at home. There aren't really any cons. It is just a matter of commuting, which was my original plan before my first year but things didn't work out right. Anyway, I've made my choice but I don't know how to bring it up. I don't want to keep her out of the know but I also don't want to keep pretending like we are going to live together. She's already been looking at furniture and has a couple places in mind. I don't know what to say or how to tell her. HELP.
TL;DR: | Don't want to live with my roommate next year in apartment. How to tell her and how soon should I spill the beans?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [28/m] don't know if I want to continue my relationship with my [27/f] partner
POST: My girlfriend of 3 years and I recently had a discussion about the future of our relationship. Over the past few months I've had regular thoughts about ending our relationship and have fantasized about being alone for a while and pursuing relationships with other women. During our discussion I expressed my apprehensions about whether we could be happy together long-term and whether I wanted a future with her.
I've since spent the past couple days thinking about things. Internally I've been debating whether my past feelings and uncertainty about my future with her are indicative that it's time to end things and go our separate ways. At the same time I feel terrible and miss her like I haven't in a long time. So I'm left wondering if my past feelings are just normal feelings that sometimes pop up because you think the grass will be greener or if I should make the break now.
TL;DR: | I expressed my doubt in the future of my relationship with my girlfriend. I've been thinking for a couple days and miss her a lot. I'm not sure what to do or how to make a decision... |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my BF [28M] of 2 years, unsure I want to move w/ him b/c he has a child.
POST: My boyfriend (28M) and I (25F) have been together for 2 years. I would describe our relationship as a good and healthy one. We have our disagreements and arguments, but they are solved quickly because we communicate with each other. On to my dilemma.
My boyfriend has a child (4M) from a previous relationship. I've spent a lot of time around him but respected my boundaries as his father's girlfriend (i.e. He calls me by name/I do not make him call me mom/I do not conduct disciplinary action). His child moved away with his mother a little over a year ago and he wants to be closer so my BF has decided to move. Where we are at we cannot simply make a drive to where he stays, we must travel by way of airplane. Before all this happened I knew he (BF) would like to be closer to him and I accepted that, and decided I wanted to move with him. This was over a year ago that I made that decision.
Here we are today and are about 1 year from moving. I learned more of what it is like to date someone with a kid. What I do not like is that the child's mother and my boyfriend do not have the greatest working relationship with each other (i.e., she doesn't even acknowledge that he is the child's father/he was sent home with clothes she thought were "used" (they were new) and said she didn't need "hand-me-downs), and even went as far as coaching their son to make sure to tell me that (the child) doesn't like me and other hurtful things. My BF doesn't try to cause any drama that I've seen, only to defend himself when she throws her attacks.I love my boyfriend very much and would definitely like to start a life with him, but I don't know if I can handle a crazy mom and the drama she gives my boyfriend. I really believe the only thing keeping me from really wanting to go is him having a kid and his crazy mom. 14 more years is a long time.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend wants to move to be closer to his child. Made plans to go with him but now want to back out because his son's mom is crazy. Am I being silly, what should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should I quit my PhD program?
POST: I'm 6-7 months in to my PhD program. I feel burnt-out, demoralized, and unhappy with life most of the time. While I have a great opportunity to study and live off of my fellowship, I feel like I have no life or motivation for anything else anymore. My health and happiness have both deteriorated. I miss having a social life and spending time with my friends in a non grumpy way. I already have my master's degree and came from industry, so I don't think it would be too tough to go back. I just fear what others will think of me. Am I failure, a quitter? I don't think so. I'd rather put my health, happiness, and life above that of a PhD program, especially when I'm not as enthusiastic about it as I used to be. Does anyone have a similar experience or advice?
TL;DR: | 6-7 months into PhD I want to quit. Health and happiness are more important to me than this, but I'm afraid of looking like a failure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my ex gf [18F] and i don't know what to do anymore
POST: My ex and i ended things about last week after being together for 10 months. Yea, i made a mistake that led to it happening, but Ive been going through a constant change of myself and just had a rough night and let my frustrations get to me. I emotionally hurt her. But she called me last night, and we talked for 45 minutes. She said that she's conflicted now, because she wants to give me another chance, but since she told her friends, and her family, they're all telling her to move on from me. They never were too fond of me, because they never got to really know me. She even said that was her mistake of telling them and she knows I've been getting better, but said its too late now since all her family will hate me. She said they don't know anything good that has happened between us, which is a lot to be honest. More good than bad. What do I do? I really do love her a lot, but i don't know how to handle the situation I'm in. Is the relationship completely over? Or is there still a small chance if we give it some time?
TL;DR: | We broke up, her friends and family (cousins) told her to move on and find someone better, even though she still wants to be with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Am I doing the right thing? (Lying to girlfriend about an art sale.)
POST: My girlfriend has been painting as a hobby for a few years now and has very little confidence in what she does. She's not amazing or anything but I really like her style and think I think a confidence boost is exactly what she needs to help her get to the next level. I've been trying to push her to get her stuff out there more but I'm a kind of an artist myself so I know pressure is the worst thing to put on someone so I've been approaching it very gently.
So the other day I called her to tell her I showed a friend from work some of her stuff and he's interested in commissioning a piece from her. The thing is, there is no friend from work -- it's me. Now I have shown my friends her stuff before and they all like what she does but they're not really art kind of people; purchasing artwork is the last thing they'd do no matter how good the piece.
Something about this makes me feel dirty for lying to her because I know she'd probably be able to sell some stuff on her own if she actually tried. It also kinda feels like I'm cheating her out of her first sale which is a very sentimental moment for most artists. But her mood has been ecstatic ever since I told her this and I've never seen her take painting this seriously before.
So did I do the right thing? Anyone else done something similar (doesn't necessarily have to be about art)? If so, how did it turn out?
Not really sure if this is the right subreddit for this as this is my first post.
TL;DR: | like girlfriends art, she has no confidence, made up fake sale to friend which is actually me, she's painting like I've never seen before but I kinda feel bad for lying to her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Only acted like a friend but...
POST: Hey guys,
So here is my story. I met this girl i like about 7 months back. At first we were just friends and i had no intentions of it going any further. We became good friends and months passed. About 5 months after knowing her I realised I had developed feelings for her so instead of keeping it quiet I told her the way I felt.
Here is the confusing part she said she needed some time to think about it so I gave her time. During this time, we started texting a lot more and hanged out at least 3 times a week (more than half the time though it was with mutual friends) but we definitely became a lot closer. I made the mistake of only treating her as a friend and not a romantic interest (out of fear of coming off too eager or a daterapist).
2 days ago she abruptly stopped messaged me (where normally we text over 50-60 msgs back and forth a day) and her reason after she got back in touch was that she was busy with work and uni assignments then she told me yesterday that she doesn't feel anything for me like she has felt for past boyfriends.
My answer to this was that none of her past boyfriends were her friends first and I also was not really trying to act in a romantic fashion so to say she doesn't feel that would be unreasonable when I haven't even given her a reason to feel that way.
TL;DR: | Was friends with girl, liked her later, she still sees me as a friend because i never acted like anything other than a friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Should I become more involved in social media? [SERIOUS]
POST: I've never liked the idea of social media, it's always been in my nature to stay low-key and in the shadows while everyone else is updating their statuses non-stop, hash-tagging everything, taking selfies etc.
I have found using social media extensively to be slightly obnoxious, egotistical, and sometimes utterly pointless. I have always considered it a tool. For example, searching twitter for traffic updates or keeping in touch with friends on facebook that don't have phone numbers.
Now I am faced with potentially having to use the exposure aspect of social media as a tool. My career field(personal training/strength coach) is overrun by selfies, #gymlife #gainz , vines, instagram, all that. I have a fake facebook, no twitter, no instagram, no vine, no youtube channel, nothing. I am in the process of opening up my own business soon (still about 2 years away), and am coming face to face with the reality that I will eventually have to market my business and myself through social media.
What I would like some input on is whether I should start getting heavy into this stuff now so it will be an easier transition once it becomes a necessity, or if I can continue to build a solid reputation in the fitness industry and open up social media outlets for my business alone while remaining somewhat anonymous myself. Any kind of advice would be very much obliged, thank you!
TL;DR: | Work in fitness industry, faced with pressure to become involved in social media yet I am reallllllly reluctant to do so. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm 23 and my crush is 18, is it weird? Also, approach advice.
POST: Hello there.
So, I like this girl. I met her through friends since a few months, without really talking with her for more than 5 minutes. At first, I didn't think of her as much of a love interest.
Although, since early March, we've been talking a lot on Facebook (everyday) and I realised that we have a lot in common, and we really hit it off. She also joined my group of friends for a few parties and we had a great time, as friends. That's when I started thinking about being more than friends with her.
Being quite shy and very inexperienced when it comes to dating, I have no idea how to introduce the idea of taking it to the next level. It seems like we both like talking to each other; a lot of the time she engages the conversation on Facebook.
The thing is, I have no idea if she has any interest in me, more than friendship that is, and I fear getting rejected or embarrassing her or something... What should I do to become more than friends ? I don't know if I should straight up be "agressive" or just subtly flirt... I fear getting "friendzoned" or waiting for too long, but I just don't know how I should go about it.
The other thing is, last saturday night, me, her, and my friends where going out as usual when I discovered her age (she's 18, I'm 23). So I also ask you, should I not feel weird about the 5 year difference and just ignore that fact? I know that if I was 60 and her 55 no one would notice, but is it weird at my age?
TL;DR: | I like this girl, don't know if she likes me, how do I take it do the next stage without screwing it up? Also, she's 18 and me 23, should I feel weird? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by shitting myself during sex. [NSFW]
POST: Okay so like many other FU's this story is a few months old but I figure i may as well tell it.
There was a girl I had been talking to for a while. We'd been friends for probably two years but the entire time she'd had a boyfriend. I'd pretty much resided myself to knowing that nothing sexual would ever happen between us, but enjoyed her company nonetheless.
Anyway, after years of waiting she finally broke up with her bf, and me being me I swooped in asap. We started to get pretty flirty, and then we finally admitted (much to my surprise) that we both liked each other. There was a party a few days later and we planned on seeing each other there, and it was pretty obvious that we both intended for more.
So at the party it got pretty late, and we were both pretty drunk when we decided to hook up. Things started heating up so being the quality house guests we were, went up to a bedroom. We started getting it on and all was going well....until I started to feel her fingers fairly close to my asshole. "Bit weird" I said to myself, but id waited for this moment for so long I decided to go along with it. Then i felt some downward pressure, and the next thing I know she's fingering my ass while of on top of her. I played it of, somewhat because I was drunk, and somewhat because i was getting laid.
But then came the moment of climax. She must've been able to tell that I was close, because as soon as I started to...y'know...she removes her finger, and WOOSH, I released a steady stream of liquid shit all over the bed, and all over her. I screamed with embarrassment, and got straight of.
The kicker though: After hopping off and observing the damage i had caused, i looked up at her, only to be met with the response "Oh, not you too"
TL;DR: | After waiting 2 years for a girl, we had sex. She fingered my ass and then I shat all over her while climaxing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [32F] don't know how to deal with my eating disordered mother in law [62F]
POST: For background, I am a healthy size -- 5'0" 120#, but I have a history of anorexia nervosa, and am up from a low weight of about 85# from when I first started dating my husband. I'm in recovery, which I'm mostly really proud of, but it is tenuous. My mother-in-law is about my height and maybe 15# lighter, but she also has a more slender/flatter build. I also have a three-year-old daughter, who I am raising using the Ellyn Satter method, who I really don't want to end up with an eating disorder.
My mother-in-law as long as I've known her has food issues, which always seem to come out super passively aggressively aimed at me. She spends entire visits simply repeating over and over that she eats salad for every meal, and refusing any non-salad food item. My husband says she's always like this, but it seems very pointed: For instance, she told me how little weight she gained during her pregnancy while I was pregnant (the 20# that my doctors said was barely enough for me was apparently more than she gained during her pregnancy with twins.)
Every time she visits it's the same broken record: how she always eats salads; how X item on the menu looks so delicious but how could anyone eat it with that many carbohydrates? How she's "going to be good" and order Y instead of Z. Each of these things is said at least 4-5 times per meal. I've asked my husband to intervene, but he feels cowed by his parents and won't. I finally snapped at her today when she turned to my (tiny) three-year-old, who was eating a snack and said "I can't believe you're still hungry, you eat so much! Where do you put it all" and I told her that she wasn't allowed to criticize how much my daughter eats. I got the most stony, hateful look out of it. But really, as much as I want to protect my daughter, I would also like to protect myself because within about 24 hours of this, I fall into terrible habits.
TL;DR: | My mother-in-law won't stop commenting on the food that she and everyone else is eating. How do I fix it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] broke up with my GF [19 F] of 6 months, might be doing things with a close friend.
POST: I recently broke up with my girlfriend (she's polyamorous) in a very serious relationship even though it didn't last for very long and she didn't take it very well, at least that's what I'm getting. One of my close friends is in a long distance relationship, and I'm not sure what he is, but a year ago I heard he doesn't mind the polyamorous thing.
Since we broke up they've been hanging out together in her dorm alone, and he might be tonight at the time of writing. I'm a paranoid person and while it isn't my problem anymore (technically) it hurts at the possibility of a really close friend (possibly) cheating on his girlfriend and being with my ex, he might not see anything wrong with it (which is my problem) and it just seems inconsiderate.
It seems rude to me that he would do that (if he is), which makes me just rationalize in my head that he isn't, but if he is, should I care about it that much? I feel like it's natural right after a break up to be bothered by your ex being with someone so soon, and I'm monogamous (which is only a tiny reason for the break up, but I wish not to go into it) so the viewpoints are very different, but I would think my close friend would have some "post breakup etiquette" at least.
TL;DR: | Close friend might be sleeping / making sexual advances on my ex girlfriend (I broke up with less than a month ago from time of writing from a serious relationship) and I don't know how I should react to the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: How to recover from a low requested salary when I strongly suspect they would have offered more?
POST: So as many new jobseekers probably have done, I naively made the first move regarding money. In my first phone interview the HR person asked my desired salary. I said $50k. I realized after the fact though that the average is more like the [upper $50k] range.
They have now made me an offer for $26/hr- so about $52k. While this is actually more than I said in several months ago, there are some things making me think there is money left on the table:
* I know that they offered a guy ahead of me who declined the offer. He said they offered him around $60k. It is possible he is inflating this number, but why would he do that if he declined?
* There were two openings one here and another an hour or so away in smaller city. They gave the job here to someone else and asked me if I would do the one in another city. I didn't want to move so I said no. Now it looks like they are making the second opening in this area instead.
It seems like a good gig, but I actually have a temporary city job extended for me after my internship was up. This job would be for up to 11 months (though nothing guaranteed), and it pays $29/hr. I was kind of hoping that the new job would be able to match that.
Is it reasonable to think that they have a little more room to raise the salary because they don't want to start a new search for candidates? If so how should I phrase my request?
TL;DR: | Make sure to breakdown what composes a salary when you ask someone. Be sure whether a company has anyone behind you to accept the offer if you try to negotiate too much. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: 19 Year Old Uni Sophomore Looking For Starting Credit Advice (US)
POST: As the title says, I'm a college sophomore in Chicago and need some help building my credit. I currently have none that I know of, and need to at least start building it now, as I'm going to be moving out of University housing this summer.
Both of my parents have amazing credit scores (I forget their numbers, but the last time I went in with my Dad to buy a car with him, the salesman was shocked at the score he saw.) Anyway I'd rather like to be like them, and not screw myself over now and be paying for it forever.
I was thinking that the best thing I could do would be to get a credit card and pay off the balance each month, no if, ands, or buts, to start building my score up. My parents cover food, "normal expenses" (staples, dishes, textbooks, sheets. not "fun" stuff,) and my college costs (housing included.) I have one job that I pull in around $200 a month from working with an old roommate I had (ebay listing) and am working as a STA for 9.50 an hour at Smest Buy as well.
What cards would ya'll recommend (I have my Checking and Savings with Chase, but I figured there would be better options out there for people in my situation?) Also, if there were other things I could to do start building a solid history now, what would those be?
TL;DR: | Thinking about starting to build my credit history at 19. I have two part time jobs, parents pay for UNI and food. What card should I get / what else should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: (US) My universities financial aid has revoked an OUTSIDE scholarship 4 times in the past month, what can I do?
POST: So a little context, I receive an outside scholarship of $2912 per semester. Along with my few loans this leaves me getting a return of about $2200. I took the loans out because I did not have a safety bubble to fall on in case something happened to my car or medically that needed immediate attention, I have insurance for both and my parents can help some but they couldn't help with $2000 if I needed it.
Here's the current timeline of what's happened:
In September they put an estimated number on my account for how much they expected me to receive. I went to them October 15th-ish and sent them and showed them the email from the director of the scholarship fund for how much I am supposed to be getting.
October 19th the check was received and returned and my scholarship revoked.
The next day the scholarship amount was added, and removed from my account. They also issued my a refund check for the $2200 I am supposed to be getting, and applied it to my account.
When I approached the office the individual was unsure why this occurred, later that day he forwarded me an email showing that the financial aid office was counting my room waiver (I'm an RA) **AGAINST** my tuition, and that the scholarship was no longer needed. The scholarship is specifically only for tuition, so I approached the scholarship director about this and the scholarship amount was back in my "pending aid" section the next day.
Today I saw that scholarship is no longer in my "pending financial aid" section, but there also is no account activity. I also got an email saying that my account was overawarded, which makes no sense because I am receiving the correct amount in loans for a senior and getting only a little aid save for my scholarship.
Right now I am at a loss, the money isn't the biggest thing to me but the loss of sleep and the nights of worrying has made a huge impact on my mental state. Shortly after dealing with this in October I had a mental breakdown and had a grand mal seizure, and right now I'm terrified that this is going to happen again.
TL;DR: | Financial aid office is refusing an outside scholarship because of their mistake, after fighting for a month I had a mental breakdown. What are my options? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I don't know if it is time for me [20f] to break up with my LTR boyfriend [21m]
POST: I'm 20. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. We are very comfortable and I love him a lot. I've identified as bisexual/pansexual/queer/not straight the whole time. One of my lady friends and I used to make out at parties early in the relationship but stopped because it's a bit rude to do that in a monogamous relationship. Pretty good sex life but limited as we live at home. Wonderful person, sometimes talk about kids and marriage and growing old together.
Lately I've been super busy with uni and work, I haven't seen him for two weeks now. This isn't bothering me. I accepted an extra shift without a second thought that "Hey, he was going to see if he could visit me if I wasn't studying". I feel guilty that this doesn't bother me. I don't know if this is because I've barely seen him. I've also developed a bit of a crush (that I am NOT acting on) on two people - a guy and a girl. They don't know this. I feel like the gay side of me is trying to come out, pardon the pun.
Problem: his birthday is coming up. I'm going on a short trip with his family soon. I don't know if this is a phase or if it is something I will get over. I don't know what to do. I'm scared of breaking up, I haven't been single since 15, I'm scared I will break up and turn out to be straight and never see a relationship with someone so compatible again.
TL;DR: | queer girl with cis boy. Getting bored, don't know if it is a phase or not, scared of breaking up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Interested in dating a girl, but I'm trying to determine if it's a good idea...
POST: It's somewhat of a weird situation...
There's a girl that works at a local restaurant, that I noticed a couple of weeks ago, or so. And it just so happens 3 of my close friends work there as well. The girl is pretty damn cute, short, red hair, great smile, etc. Anyways, when I expressed to a friend (one of her co-workers) that I found her attractive, they agreed, but proceeded to tell me about some of the stuff that had gone on between them at work (sexually). He's never once warned me away from her, just said that she's a really nice person, but sexually aggressive. Hes even put in a few good words for me to the girl and expressed that she thought I was pretty cute and seems interested.
My questions are:
A) being that a friend of mine has messed around with her (never sex) is it a good idea to date her? Event though he seems all for us, hooking up.
B) A bit personal, but and honest question. Being a virgin myself and her being sexually aggressive, there seems to be being a relatively high chance that if we did date, sex is probably going to take place. Would that be a turn off? And as far as me being a virgin, honestly you'd just have to be in my shoes to understand why. I'm a pretty good looking guy, but I went to a Christian Private school in high school (which is obviously anti-sex before marriage), and after high school move to go to Uni and was working 45-50 hours a week on a 16 hour college schedule, and to make it worse I was living 45 minutes away from where I worked and went to school. So between being in a crazy conservative environment and being too busy to breath, I never had sex, leaving me to be one of the only relatively good looking, 21 years old virgins to ever live in this century...
TL;DR: | Should I date a girl, after she's done a bit of the dirty with a good friend of mine who actually seems to be provoking this girl and I to date? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my husband [27M] been together 9 years, Messed up a lot and need help changing my ways.
POST: Ok before I explain my situation let me say I realize now my behavior is horrible. I don't want to be thrown under a bus so please focus on actual advice to help and not tear me down.
I've been married to my husband for 8 years now. We got married very young I was 17 he was 19. Hes a wonderful man who has put up with more of my crap than he deserves. He was a strong willed, independent, opinionated man before me, I broke him.
Due to my past I have a lot of insecurities and control issues. Growing up I was abused mentally, physically, and sexually by my own father. I never had control of my life during this time all of this took it's toll on me and really messed me up. After he died I was free and assumed I would finally in control with my life. I was wrong.
My mother was a horrible druggie who was never around. After he died she married me right off and signed over custody of my little brother for me to raise.
Now back to my husband, I projected a lot of my insecurities onto him without realizing it. I wouldn't let him watch anything with nudity in it at all. I am crazy jealous of women he works with. I said slot of hurtful one sided comments to him about everything I don't agree with.
We fought a lot through all these years. His family doesn't believe in divorce that's the only reason he stayed IMO. I was a major controlling bitch who was so bad my husband was scared to talk to me. He never did anything wrong. Never cheated, or talked to any other women at all.
I know my actions are inexcusable but I want to change. Our relationship is starting to get better we've both started to open up with each other. He says he still loves and wants to be with me. I want to be better for him. I want to be the wife he deserves. So please give me advice how on how to I can change my mindset and be a better person.
TL;DR: | I'm a horrible wife who really wants to be better. Please focus on my realizing what I'm doing is wrong and wanting to change than my wrongdoings. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my parents [50s M/F] lied about where I was and now lost their trust
POST: Ok so I'll try and keep this as short as possible. I basically told my parents I was going to be at school when instead I went to spend the night at my girlfriends house. They found out because they went to my school and saw my car wasn't there and then they went to my girlfriend's and saw it was there.
They were pissed at me and I got a long lecture about trust and how they aren't sure if they could trust me anymore and how they didn't raise me to lie. I understand what I did was wrong but I also feel like they should give me some more freedom. I already live alone and it seems restrictive. The only reason I lied is because I know they wouldn't have let me spend the night, and I barely get to see my girlfriend.
So the next day I did something stupid. I was upset and angry and I needed to leave the house so I told them I was going back to school, but I really went to a friends house and slept over. They drove to my school at 6 in the morning to check if I was there and when they didn't find my car they got furious with me, and texted/called me a million times about how could I. I got to school as fast as I could and told them I had been sleeping with a friend at another dorm, but they dont believe me and they wont answer any of my calls or texts. Should I come clean? I feel like crap rn. And before everyone in the comments bashes me, I know what I did was wrong and stupid, but I also feel that they are taking it too seriously. Any advice is appreciated
TL;DR: | Lied about where I was sleeping to parents twice and now they won't talk to me and it seems their trust in me is shattered |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my Girlfriend [32 F] 4 months, how to tell her a friend that assaulted me should go away.
POST: So some of this is in a TIFU as well, but I'd figured I'd ask here.
Pretty much here is the whole situation; We have been together for 4 months now. During these months, we have been up and down. I have had sex chats, she has cheated. I want to be hers and hers alone, she has "obsessions" with other guys and not me. It's been really frustating. However, there is a sweetheart I really fell in love with. I know that girl is there and I want that girl I know. Not the drama filled whore I'm all too familiar with now. I have spent a lot of time, effort, and tears trying to get this relationship to work. This is a girl that has been by my side when I was near death, and when I had hurt my leg she dropped everything just to be with me. Do I think she has issues? yes. Do I think I have issues? yes. Everyone has issues, I'm just trying to do what I can to remove the toxicity from this relationship.
Situation: My roommate, one of her friends and "obsessions" finally lost it, assaulted and illegally evicted me this past weekend. I'm trying to talk to her and explain why that someone that does that should not be in her life, and I do not want to date her if she thinks that is okay. She says that I am being controlling when I ask of this. I'd really think I'm not being controlling and just being reasonable. What can I say or do to kind of tell her that's really fucked up. Am I in the right here? Or am I really just being controlling?
Any advice is appreciated, thanks
-SomeRandomHeartbrokenUSer
TL;DR: | Girlfriend's friend and my roomate hits me, don't want either of us around him, she thinks that's controlling |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I (18/M) unintentionally manipulating my friend (19/F)?
POST: Okay, so I reconnected with this girl after a few years of non-communication, and we had both really changed in that time, so it was almost like we re-met as the new versions of ourselves. I think we really hit it off, and one night she was having a really hard time and I was trying to comfort her, and she ended up spilling everything that was going on in her life and crying on my shoulder for a solid two hours. She was very appreciative towards me after this happened, and we continued to hang out and grow our relationship. I had been sensing that she had feelings for me, and I was beginning to feel the same way. The last time we hung out, this came up and we both admitted it to one another.
Now, before this happened, I was talking to someone who is friends with both of us, and this person said that it would be inappropriate for me to have a relationship with her because of relied on me for emotional support. I'm concerned moving forward that this person is right and that the girl might be feeling attached to me because I supported her in that way, and not because she's genuinely interested in me. I don't want to unintentionally take advantage of an emotionally-charged situation. What do you guys think? Do I have a green light to move forward or is this inappropriate?
TL;DR: | I supported girl emotionally, we get feels for each other, third person says it's inappropriate to date her because of the emotional support |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my roommate [36 M/F] of 2 years, got a parrot without consulting me because he knew I would say no.
POST: Me and my room mate live in a studio apartment that is completely crammed as it is. My room mate has been nagging me to get a pet for the past 6 months and I have been rejecting the request everytime. So I come today in the morning from an aquaintence's apartment to ready up for work.
Before leaving he asks me to say hi to a bird. I go to the bedroom side and see in the corner a huge ass cage with a 3 month old white parrot in it. I just gave a disapointed OK and left for work because I was running late.
He knew I would say "no" if he asked, so he just bought it anyway before I would have the chance to object which is so low and it is annoying me.
Just to be clear.
* I have no desire to live with pets.
* I don't want animal smells in my apartment.
* I don't want to see food pellets on the ground.
* I don't think it is hygenic to keep a parrot in the same room I sleep in.
* I don't want to wake up because the parrot decided to wistle in the middle of the night or learned to talk
* Most of all I am pissed by the way the roommate got the pet without consulting me.
Important to note:
* The lease to the apartment is under his name. I am not mentioned anywhere so I can't complain to the landlord.
* He makes a ton of money so if it come to me or the bird. The bird will stay and I will leave. He doesn't really need my contribution. He just doesn't like living alone.
* We have been together for 2 years and I know how he operates and I don't want to spend a lot of time to get to know a new roommate.
* I can rent a studio alone but my costs will essentially double if I do which is not ideal.
Am I overreacting? And what should I do now?
TL;DR: | Roommate bought a pet without consulting me knowing full well that I would not agree to it. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Friend-zoned. Now, I [23M] just want to learn to be a good friend to my crush [29F]. Tips?
POST: So, I have a huge crush on a classmate/colleague of mine. We're in the same program and in the same company for our co-op terms. We've chatted here and there over the past 2 years, but we only really became friends about 2 months ago.
I've thought about it quite a bit and I feel like she isn't really what I'm looking for right now (even though I want her to be and I'm really into her). However, I really do like her and enjoy chatting with her, so I thought it would be great if I could learn how to be a friend despite my attraction to her.
Unfortunately, two days ago, I was dumb and let it slip that I was interested in her. She just sees me as a friend, which I must admit is disappointing, but maybe this is a blessing in disguise.
She's pretty understanding and as far as I can tell, seems okay with us staying friends. I really do think this could be a good opportunity to make a great friend, but I'm afraid of messing it up. Have any tips to help me be a good friend?
Also, have any good mnemonic devices that could be helpful in this situation? As a start, I was thinking of writing some general rules/guidelines within a notebook to help me remember not to do dumb things.
TL;DR: | If I can't date my crush, I'd like to learn to be a good friend. I know it's going to be tough, so I could use some help. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22f] have a question about intimacy concerning my SO [21m]. Why won't he ever I initiate sex with me?
POST: I'm getting frustrated lately making the first move on the guy I have been with for a really long time, I feel sexually exhausted trying to get myself off the way he's comfortable with. We never go outside of the box of what's considered normal even though I've done my best to make it clear I'm sexually experimental. I enjoy things he may be scared to dabble with me in but in a result of conforming to what's natural for him I am not meeting the requirements of arousal and a substantial partnership for myself. I have been exclusive with him for almost a year now and I find it severely discouraging that he never spontaneously touches me or anything of the exciting nature. I am always the one that initiates it and it is draining me sexually when it is all very slow paced. It all begins with kissing and is ever so slow and boring until climax.
What is it that is keeping him from making the first move?
TL;DR: | I am getting frustrated sexually because I am really emotionally invested in someone younger than me that is not exciting me in the bedroom. Why is this and how can I talk to him about spicing things up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I owe ~70x the national debt. Need advice on responding with a debt verification letter on incorrectly printed debt collection letter.
POST: I was recently mailed a letter from a collection agency that has switched the account number and the amount owed, so on the letter itself it looks like I owe an absurd amount (in the quadrillions). I'm wondering how to address this - do I just mail a debt verification letter asking the collections agency to verify the debt? What steps do I take after that? Can I use this in my favor with paying the debt off or disputing it? Considering this is an obvious fuck up on there part, but looks bad for me, I don't want to do anything that will hurt my credit score anymore than it has been affected already.
Some notes/backstory:
I had a CC about 10 years ago I maxed out on a Best Buy card, when I was a dumb 18 year old, buying an Xbox 360/games and a TV (about ~$1600). I wasn't able to keep up with it and it was charged off after all the interest kicked in (it was a "no interest for x months" deal with the card).
I owe roughly $3700 currently, and it's been in collections for obviously a long time now. When I was first contacted about it via phone, roughly 5 years ago, I wasn't aware of my rights and the repercussions of my actions and admitted the debt to be mine, so statute of limitations in my state dictates the debt will not be wiped off my slate until sometime in 2018.
TL;DR: | collections switched the account number and debt owed on the letter they sent me and I now look like I owe quadrillions of dollars - what should my next steps be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Tip. Your. Waitresses.
POST: Reddit, today was my 25th birthday. I wasn't terribly excited or particularly concerned. But I have an amazing, kickass girlfriend, and an amazing, small group of friends who came through in high fashion and drove my bill, alone, to over $100 at the bar. The waitress/goddess, who we've had the last few times we've gone and tipped quite well, had the total bill to $25.25. To all the unthanked bar waitresses who go about their jobs with asshole men, stupid lines, drunk assholes, skimpy tips, and so on, thank you. You are amazing. Reddit, please, tip the shit out of your late-night bar workers. It will come through for you big time when you need it, but more importantly, it's worthwhile. Again. Thank you, late night bar workers of Reddit. I won't say the name of this bar, but woman at unthankful bar in Washington, you are amazing. Cheers to all.
TL;DR: | tip your damn bar workers. It will come back. And if they're good at what they do, they damn well deserve it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Question : Credit card open under my name (I never knew it exsisted... it has a $0 balance, $1,000 limit - USA)
POST: So I just happened to be checking a few things today and noticed that there is a Capital One card open under my name, that I wasn't aware of.
$0 Balance (thankfully) & a $1,000 Limit.
Note, I DO have an active Capital One card that I DID sign up for.
I use it all the time, & pay it off diligently.
But this other one is a totally different card with a different max, last 4 digits are different, etc.
I never got a physical card for this mysterious account the mail, never get notices/updates via snail mail or any emails reguarding this card... you get the idea.
Since I never signed up for this thing, I want to address it ASAP before someone out there possibly screws me over.
So question is... when I call up Capital One to dispute this, is my credit score going to take a hit if I ask them to close out an account that I never opened/used?
TL;DR: | Mysterious Credit Card Account is showing on my Credit Report. Zero balance, but I never opened this. If I call to close this thing out, will my credit score be negatively affected? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My pregnant [25F] of 9 months wants nothing to do with me [26M]
POST: My girlfriend of about 9 months wants nothing to do with me. We got pregnant about 4 1/2 months ago and we moved in together about 3 weeks ago. About two weeks ago she expressed the fact that she has been miserable and depressed for the last month. We no longer sleep in the same bed. There is no physical contact and we barely speak unless it is about bills or stuff that is needed for the house. She has a two year old daughter that she does not want me to have anything to do with. The person that I am says they are a package deal and I should love her and treat her as my own, but she will not have any of that.
I said some not so nice things early on in the pregnancy and gave her some selfish reasons as to why I wanted to keep the baby. I was afraid she would leave me if we didn't keep it and I was afraid that she wouldn't be able to deal with it and take care of the child she already has. The truth is, is I couldn't deal with it myself killing a tiny himan that I helped create and I have recently told her this. I want nothing more than to have a family and to raise this child together.
She expressed her need for space and I have given it to her. Yet it kills me to not be able to sleep in the same bed or rub her tummy and talk to the baby growing in her belly.
I'm not sure how to fix this fellow redditors...please help.
TL;DR: | Pregnant gf no longer wants anything to do with me because of things I said, how do I fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Roommates are her Friends
POST: My girlfriend (21f) and I (22m) broke up about a 2 months ago after 1.5 years. When she broke up with me I told her that I needed my space and that I didn't want her coming over to the house I live in. I tell my roommates that I need my personal space and that I can't have her over here while I am home.
Yesterday, she shows up to pick up a package she had delivered to our house and to go eat with my roommates. I tell her to stop having mail delivered to our house (I should have told the USPS guy to return to sender). This exchange broke 4 weeks of NC. My roommates and her go out to eat and I return to doing my chores and errands.
|
I get a call from my roommate later that night and he says that they are bringing my ex back to the house. I tell him no. He tells me yes and I tell him to go to her place. They ignore this and show up at my door.
They are laughing and hanging out and it drives me nuts to have her over here. I don't say anything more to them and I have been contemplating what I need to do next. I want to feel comfortable in my home. I know they are friends but I don't think it is okay for them to do hang out at my place. I wouldn't go to her place to hang out with mutual friends.
I feel very disrespected and have felt a lack of respect in any of my dealings with my ex after we broke up. I have been civil in my dealings and in return I am treated as a door mat. What can I do?
TL;DR: | Roommates bring my ex over to the house even though they all have been told not to do so. My ex knows this as well. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I lied to my girlfriend about my religious aspirations. How can I fix this?
POST: I'm a 23 year old male, my girlfriend is a 21 year old female.
We've been dating for almost 8 months.
We are both religious Jews.
Without getting into any religious debates, one of the things that she wanted in a guy was someone who would go to synagogue every day to pray. When we first started dating I told her that I planned on doing this every day.
I lied. Not because I wanted to hurt her. At the time I was really thinking about going every day but at this stage in my life I've decided I don't want to go every day. I really liked her, so I said "yes, I plan on going."
A lot of the time she asks me if I went in the morning and I'd say "yeah yeah I went"- even though I didn't. Just so she wouldn't get mad at me.
I do go every Sabbath and I try my best to pray at home in the mornings, but she was insistant on saying that she wanted a guy who would go every day.
I love her so much and I think telling her that I don't do it every day and don't plan on it will make her break up with me.
What do I do?
I don't want to tell her that I lied. And I don't want to lose her.
(And I don't want to go to synagogue every day...)
TL;DR: | My girlfriend wants me to go to Synagogue everyday and I told her I do and I will, even though I don't plan on ever going. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Offered an interview but it's delayed while they re-advertise...
POST: Hey, would like to get some constructive perspectives on my situation.
I'm a trainee journalist looking for my first staff role and I've applied for a role in my city that is looking for graduates. It'd be a great role to get me into the specific branch of the industry that I want to get in to. It's also in a city where journalism jobs are quite rare.
They had a huge number of applicants, which was cut down to 10. Due to this number, they said that the remaining shortlist would have to contribute (quite a large) article and then those successful would get an interview. I made the list, and sent away the article. I was then told that I would be notified of the possibility of an interview the following week.
I have now received an email stating that they liked my article and want to invite me for an interview, but the interviews are delayed for a month or so while they re-advertise. They said they would be in touch in a few weeks.
I've seen other examples online where re-advertising has happened after people have even gone for an interview, and without them being notified. That's seems to be a bad sign, but those are slightly different situations to mine.
My theory is that they only received a couple usable articles from the shortlist and they feel like they don't have enough candidates. However, that may be too optimistic. Either way it's making me a little anxious.
Anyone have any thoughts???
TL;DR: | After a written job assessment, I've been offered an interview but it's delayed while they re-advertise. I'm confused as to its potential meaning. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Went out with a girl I knew for awhile and really hit it off but don't want to be in a relationship. How do approach this gently? btw she is my almost-next-door neighbor.
POST: 24/M here, and the girl is 23.
I know this girl through a close friend of mine. we knew each other for about 4 years but did not actually hang out until this week. she is my neighbor. and when I say this, I mean she lives 20ft away from me and we both live with our respective families.
This all happened this week and on our 2nd "date" we went to the beach and had a few beers. She made the first move and kissed me and by the end of the day we totally had this "couple vibe", which I wasn't too comfortable with but rather than make everything awkward I went along with it. Basically I didn't make one single move and she did all the work throughout the whole day.
All in all, I feel like this all happened too fast as this was only the 2nd time hanging out with her, and I definitely am not decisive enough at this point to be with her.
I don't want to lead her on and definitely don't want to keep seeing her if she thinks this is gonna be a long-term relationship. I'm chasing other girls and don't want this turning into an unfaithful relationship.
By the way, this girl lives about 20 ft away from me (it's a big townhouse, but in a different building) so this might become awkward running into her after I tell her how I feel.
How should I approach this Reddit?
TL;DR: | I really hit it off with my almost-next-door-neighbor, we kiss and cuddle (she made all the first moves, I did not lift a finger, but went along with it and did not hesitate) |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Y U DO THIS WOMEN?
POST: Last week I was flying back home and ended up in the middle seat. When I sat down this lady walks by and sits next to me. Worth mentioning is that she had one of the biggest, fattest wedding rings I have seen probably ever. First thing she does is buckles herself then pushes up the divider thing between us, turns to me and says like this is the first time she is flying by herself and she is not uptight so if I wanted to I can lean on her and all she will do is just lean back.
When we were going up in the air she started holding on to my arm pretty tight and rubbing it..that continued pretty much every time there was any sort of turbulence. One time she said "I must freak you out by doing this", then she put her left hand on my leg and held on to it. I said "oh no it's fine". I really didn't know what else to say. Honestly I started liking it and actually got a semi in my jeans which I think she saw.
This continued on until the plane landed at which point she started acting like I was someone she saw for the first time, grabbed her bags and walked off without saying anything.
Why do women do stuff like this reddit!!??
TL;DR: | Lady was all over me during plane flight, then acted like I don't exist as soon as plane landed. Why do women do this stuff? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's your best Pissed Myself story Reddit? Here's mine from last night.
POST: Alright. I still haven't recovered mentally from this so please bear with my poor writing for a bit.
I have a bad habit of visiting my ex at work as she manages a bar a block away from my apartment. Long story short, my room mate, our friend and I accidentally crash my ex's work Christmas party, I got out of my mind hammered like a jackass, got in a heated argument with some dumb cunt server about Nunavut (I know), drunkenly wobblegirled the one block to my house, stripped naked, opened reddit on my laptop, attempted to eat a cupcake and passed the fuck out.
Fast forward to 4am, I wake up and everything within a 5 foot radius from my cock is soaking in piss. My idiot dick had done a firehose routine on my bedroom, my macbook being the closest thing to my cock had been pressure washed by [Smiling Jerry's] and cheap beer. In my drunken stupor I can remember seeing a little puddle on each and every key on the keyboard. I vaguely remember showering and then passing back out in my pissfilled bed.
I woke up in time for work and remembered that I am a graphic designer and that this is a big fucking problem. Tried frantically to turn my laptop on which I realized immediately after that I shouldn't do, and nothing. Put it on its side in front of the radiator and went to work where I told the guys and we had a laugh. Word got out to my boss and for the rest of the day he was reminding me to not piss on any of the work machines. Came home and still nothing. Almost 5 Gb of client files, gone. All the original files for my portfolio, gone (blah blah shoulda backed it up I'm a gentlemans fucking wank tool idiot). All my licensed software, gone. (all my pirated software, gone) All my shitty porn, gone. I'm trying to stay positive.
TL;DR: | Powerhosed my laptop from point blank while I was passed out, client folders, software, my life, gone. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girl of my dreams, but I'm still pretty fucked up.
POST: Hey guys,
Maybe you can help me out here, I'm really not sure what to do. This all starts about a year and a half ago. Pretty much I went into super depressed mode after my last relationship went bad and I ended up moving to a new state alone for grad school and drank a lot to self-medicate. At some point, some of my friends got my into the electronic music/rave scene (it's really the only music scene we have around here). It was pretty great, I made a lot of friends and went to a lot of shows. Unfortunately, with that territory comes the drug use. For about a year, I took ecstasy on average once every two weeks or so, and did a good amount of cocaine and acid as well. Needless to say, I developed some seriously bad anxiety and other mental issues as my serotonin levels were pretty severely depleted and my brain chemistry pretty out of whack. Anyway, I decided I needed to stop doing this to myself. I went to my doctor and he put me on an SSRI to get things back to normal. I must say, I do feel 100x better after taking it for a few months and am definitely on my way to being normal again.
This is when she came in. I met the most amazing girl ever. She's beautiful, like way more attractive than any girl I could hope to get. We have everything in common from music to movies to personalities. We've only started recently dating, but she keeps telling me how awesome I am and how she always can't wait to hang out with me again. She's awesome. Unfortunately, the SSRI that I'm on completely kills my sex drive. It's terrible. It's like, I want to have sex but it's very difficult. I want to stay on my meds because they are definitely helping, but I'm afraid that I'll fuck up everything with this girl because of the sex drive thing. What do I do?
TL;DR: | Took a lot of drugs, got really fucked up, on meds to help, meet girl of my dreams, meds kill sex drive. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M] with my gf [22 F] short relationship , she goes on vacation with ??
POST: gf goes on trip with family member but I suspect that she is there with ex lover of few years. A extraordinary month love blossoms but lies about the trip persist. During the trip and after much denial of said relative she admits to be there with the ex. The trip has been planned for a long time and would cost a fortune to cancel . After she admitted who she was actually there with I ask if anything sexual has happened and she says no.
If she has been lying to me about the entire thing how could I believe that she is being truthful about sexual encounters? I really do love this girl and I'm getting mixed feedback from family and friends.
TL;DR: | what should I do, trust that she was on a trip with an ex and had no sexual encounters after lying about the whole ordeal and give her a second chance? Or drop her from my life completely. Help Me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What horrible/embarrassing story about you does your family insist on rehashing every holiday?
POST: My family loves to rehash the story of the time I was beaten up through the window of my car when I was a teenager.
To make a long story short, I was trying to merge into the left lane to make a u-turn before a traffic light and a corolla came it of my blind spot and I almost hit them. I didn't think much about it but the driver was apparently very road raged. I was waiting at the light for my signal and the next thing I knew, I was being repeatedly punched in the face by the guy who had been driving the corolla. He was yelling at me to get out the car and leaning way inside my driver's side window. It's a damn good thing I didn't get out of the car. Being scrawny but flexible, I managed to get my legs between me and my attacker and pushed him back out the window, catching him in the nose. He stood up dumbfounded, bleeding fro his nose, and ran back to his car. At this point I wheeled my car around (traffic signals be damned at this point) and tried to get a look at the corolla's plates. The corolla sped off fast and I never got the plate number. I called the cops and made a report, but there was nothing they could do.
My family finds this story hilarious and they insist on me telling it every year. To be honest, the whole experience was kind of traumatising, but I get to relive it every year.
TL;DR: | I was the victim of assault but my family finds this story hilarious and makes me resell the story over the holidays every year. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(f24) am upset at well just about everyone but mostly my mom (f47)
POST: I think a lot of my issues stem from when I was first diagnosed with Ovarian cancer in February of this year, but I feel like today is just extra upsetting. I found out earlier today that I was going to be having my last chemo as of Monday. Of course this is exciting news, but since I was already having a pretty bad day, I'm having some mixed emotions which as resulted in me being a huge cry baby, and I don't seem to be feeling as good about the situation as I should be.
I call my mom to tell her what my Dr told me. Which was that there was currently no detectable cancer on the ct scan and Monday would be my last round of chemo. Well I guess I just didn't get the reaction I was hoping for, I mean she was very happy and she cried and called all my aunts and uncles, but like that was it.
I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I am getting nothing. My mom decided this morning they were going to go to Duluth (which is about a four hour drive from where we live), and I was joking before my appointments they should take me with them, and stuff. But now that I have this news I am feeling sort of abandoned. They are still going on this trip, and I just feel like, where is my celebration? Where is my dinner or something.
My fiance is at work, which means I am just sitting at home crying. I just feel like I don't matter now that I am no longer the sick kid.
TL;DR: | I am no longer the sick kid, and I feel like I don't matter anymore. Plus I'm a crybaby and wanted a party/dinner something in my honour. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend (24/m) and me (22/f) have been together for 2 years. Not sure who is causing problems: my emotional instability or his lack of effort?
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now. I love him very much and I know he loves me but often I feel like I never knows how he's feeling and he's not very good at showing me how he feels. Also, I'm very much of a talker and he isn't, and I feel like sometimes we have nothing to talk about. Is this bad? Also, he isn't very romantic and I feel like i just need to know he likes me more. I also have anxiety and emotional mood swings and I think I push my emotions on him and blame him for my discontent. Im unsure If my dissatisfaction is from him or just because I'm emotionally unstable. I don't want to hurt him but I don't want to be in a relationship that doesn't satisfy my needs. I feel like I'm either really happy with him or dissatisfied. Hes such a sweet guy and Ive never met anyone like him before, I don't want to give up on someone so good.Would I not have feelings of doubt if I really loved him. If we were meant to be would we be able to talk all the time and always appreciate each other?
TL;DR: | I just don't know whats making me sad, my instability or am I just dissastified with where I am. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22 M] can't resist feeling upset about my girlfriend [22 F] being so close with other guys.
POST: My girlfriend of half a year has a lot of guy friends - some of which she's very close to - which shouldn't really upset me at all because I trust her.
But no matter how much I rationalise it and really try to not feel upset by it - it always really gets to me when she spends heaps of time with other guys.
It's not that I'm being super clingy and want all of her attention all of the time, I think it's just the nature of what she does with other guys that gets to me - even though, once again, it shouldn't.
I mean, today she took one of her best guy friends with her to see some of her family. I was in class and so she knew I couldn't come, but... that still feels weird. She always goes out to get coffee/brunch with other guys she knows, or even just drives to a quiet beach with them.
Now I've been resisting write about this here for a while because I know I'm being unreasonable, but the whole taking guy friend to see family thing has me feeling really down and I just want to source from other people's experience:
1/ Should I tell her how uncomfortable it makes me feel?
2/ Should I just continue to suck it up.
What do you think would be healthiest for our relationship? Because I really, really like her and I think she feels the same and I don't want to stuff anything up.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend spends a lot of time with other guy friends, and even though I know its stupid to feel upset about it, I can't help feeling upset. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30 M] with my 21 [F] 2 mo. relationship, need advice on how to deal with my mistake
POST: I'm in the beginning stages of a new relationship and I think I may have fucked up.
Last night we were talking about things that bother each other, and she noted to me that she has minor jealousy issues (nothing that I thought was offputting). Well, tonight, and to note, the very next night after our conversation, I did the very thing that bothers her.
She noted the coincidence as if I deliberately did it to hurt her, but I did no such thing. It was indeed pure coincidence. As a result she didn't want to talk to me tonight and said it wasn't me and she just wanted time to herself.
The male aspect of me says to just leave it alone, I've already apologized and that's all I can do. I don't want to pressure her into talking about it if she doesn't want to, as I usually believe people should mean what they say, but I reckon that not everyone's going to be a great communicator all the time. My gut instinct is to leave her alone today or until she decides to come talk to me but wanted to hear the input of others.
TL;DR: | Gf and I talked about things that bother her. The next day, I did the very thing that bothered her. She didn't want to talk about it. Do I press the issue to talk about it or leave it alone? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 M] with my gf [20 F] of a year and a quarter, how to make her more open to sexting
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and a quarter now, and everything is perfect. We have fun together, can talk for ages without realising and just generally enjoy each others company, plus a good sex life when we get the chance. We're both in university, and don't get much time to ourselves, but when we do the sex is great, but when we're apart she makes no effort. It's rare we get to be intimate and she won't even make an effort to try this.
To preface the above, I've tried initiating stuff, I've tried bringing it up to her and she agrees and says it would be fun to do, but anytime I try she brushes it off. We did it once, and it was great, we both agreed we enjoyed it, so why not again? Any ideas?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend won't give sexting a try despite it being one of the few ways to be "intimate" together. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Is pride worth this?
POST: Hey guys. I am completely mentally drained and just need some outside input on my situation. Me and my fiance are having the most terrible luck. He was working in the oil field in North Dakota and unfortunately got laid off. We were forced to relocate to a small farm that hasn't been lived on in over a decade. The first week we were here things were fine. We chopped enough wood to get us through the winter. (we are in Minnesota and our source of heat is a wood stove) We have to buy water for drinking and cooking. One night after a shower, laying in bed I hear a gurgling sound and get up to inspect. There is raw sewage literally spewing from every drain, every toilet, leaking through the floor, filling the basement. We have to replace the septic pump. We are drowning in bills and have been taking showers at truck stops once every week or two. We have been stripped of our dignity. We are literally shitting in buckets and burning the waste. We have been cleaning the aftermath for a month, while still living here. I have never felt so defeated. I have debated starting a gofundme but I have NEVER asked for help with anything. We have always been stable and work hard for everything. Unfortunately this is something we can't obtain on our own. Should I swallow my pride and ask for help?
TL;DR: | cannot earn enough money to replace septic pump, living in flith, one truck stop shower every week or two, shitting in buckets, to swallow pride and ask for help or continue to try my hardest and get nowhere? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (21 M) tell my parents that my girlfriend (27 F) of two years has a 9 year old child?
POST: My parents currently believe my girlfriend's daughter is her younger sister (my girlfriend was too scared to tell them so we lied). I have known since the beginning that my girlfriend had a child under unfortunate circumstances with an ex-bf when she was 18; she decided to keep it and I really respect her for going through that. The child was adopted by her parents so that my girlfriend could go through school, so she's not financially responsible for the child. I have not yet told my parents about this. They are bound to find out soon one way or another, since we are both graduating this weekend and our families are getting together. My family is extremely liberal so I think they will be okay with it, but I would still like them to be happy for my girlfriend and I. Any advice on what to say and how to bring this up?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend has a child, child lives with GF and her parents, I haven't told my parents (they think the child is her younger sister), how should I tell them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my friend's friend [17 F], I'm not sure if she's dropping hints or not
POST: Throwaway because my friends use reddit. Also excuse me for any grammatical errors, I'm not a native speaker.
I don't have insecurity issues, but I'm not the kind of guy who talks more with girls than guys either. I've had a girlfriend before, if that would matter.
For the past few months, I spent most of my time during my school's breaks at the library with a friend and two of his friends. Browsing Reddit, doing homework, discussing our hobbies (been getting into martial arts recently, definitely suggest trying something out if there's something in your area). One of his friends is a girl and we don't really talk to eachother. We didn't, I should say. I mainly sat there browsing Reddit and talking with that one friend. I only see the girl at the library and at my locker (hers is next to mine).
Last week on Thursday she randomly complimented my beard (something along the lines of "Hey, your beard looks good. Uh, your locker's next to mine and I see you very often.") I thanked her and I was kind of surprised because I don't get compliments from one person that often. What I mean by that is that people generally do say something to me when I do something with my hair (I recommend long hair just as much as martial arts, haha).
From that day onwards, she's always smiling when she looks at me and sometimes tries to start small convos at our lockers. I caught her just looking/staring at me a few times too, at the library.
Now, am I being really stupid at not really noticing her hints, or am I being really stupid for thinking she's hinting?
TL;DR: | Girl randomly complimented me, always smiling when talking with me, also looks/stares at me (maybe coincidence that we both looked, I dunno). Is she hinting? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] found something on my boyfriend's [30 M] phone that he doesn't consider cheating. What are the boundaries here? I don't know how to go forward with the relationship.
POST: We have a very healthy relationship. No cheating and no problems besides the normal argument here and there. It will be a year this month, and we have discussed moving in together within the next five months.
I snooped on his phone, I know, I know, it's wrong. I shouldn't have. I have never had a reason to. What I did find was a little alarming, and I do not know how to digest it.
He went away for vacation to a huge party city in March with some friends/couples. I, being pretty lax, waved him off and told him to have fun. From what I am seeing now in his texts between him and his guy friend, he met this girl next to him on the 3 hour plane ride, they exchanged numbers and he added her on Facebook. He continued to discuss how hot she was, sending pictures of her to his friend and how he should have tried harder to get with her.
My emotions got the best of me and I freaked out on him. He confessed to it, stating that he was attracted to her but he would never cheat on me, all of that is "just guy talk". He apparently just tried to hang out with her and her friends on vacation but to no avail. He tried to get defensive in the beginning of the fight about me snooping.
Reddit, I understand we are human, I can relate to a guy approaching me in an airport and chatting for a few hours, but I have always just walked away knowing I am committed to a relationship. The fact that this was pursued beyond the plane makes me sick to my stomach, I have this inkling that if he had had the chance, he may have taken the opportunity. But he didn't, and now I'm stuck in limbo, 5 months after the incident may I add. Advice?
TL;DR: | Found texts between him and his guy friend talking about this girl he was attracted to on the plane and continued to try and pursue when he was on vacation 5 months ago. Don't know how to handle situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Need suggestions on ways to help my best friend's little sister
POST: I have been racking my brain to think of ways to help this girl and I need some creative suggestions/advice.
Here is the story. My best friend (let's call her "Cindy") is an adult, living on her own, working full time and going to college about 2 hrs from where her mother and 15 yr old sister live (let's call her sister "Jenny"). Their mother has had a drinking problem for as long as I can remember and has already spent a few months in jail because of it. She has money problems, etc. and is a pretty selfish person to say the least. Cindy has always dropped everything to come home and try to fix what her mother has screwed up: electric shut off, car totaled, no groceries, etc.with her main concern being her sister Jenny's wellbeing. However, she is trying to finish her degree and working FT as well. Jenny is an incredibly smart girl. She doesn't drink/smoke because she doesn't want to end up like her mom and she is working as hard as she can to get herself an ivy league education after high school, but she has another 3 years to go. Basically, her main goal is to get into an awesome school far, far away from her mother and become something. I have no doubts she will accomplish exactly that if given the chance. The problem now is that their mother got yet another DUI and is facing more serious jail time. Meaning Jenny will most likely be placed with family members or a foster family- I don't know how that works. I would like to help her in some way to ensure she stays on track with her education and also emotional support of course, but I'm not sure how to do that. I know Cindy is going to do as much as she can but since I live closer I want to help. Any suggestions or advice would be most appreciated.
TL;DR: | This 15 yr old girl's mom is going to jail and I need ideas in ways to offer my support and help keep her on track. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Is My Girlfriend(21/f) losing interest. (me 21/m)
POST: Hi, I've been in a relationship now for about a year and 3 months. It's been without doubt the best time of my life, though of course there have been difficult times. In my mind i've felt that this could be a long, serious relationship.
We're at university which means there are times when we are with each other 24 hours a day but during semester breaks we have no physical contact. It's difficult because we're a mixture of a long distance and very close distance relationship (we share accommodation). We agreed that we would communicate during the breaks texting regularly , calling each other at least every two days and skyping at least once a week.
However, three weeks into the break my girlfriend hasn't phoned or skyped me once. I initiate the majority of communication and when she does text I feel she isn't saying much at all and seems uninterested. Most days she sends less than 5 texts. I've also had an injury during this holiday, I told her and she didn't seem to care.
I've tried not to talk back to her and ignore her like she has done to me but she doesn't seem to notice. I'm wondering what people think about it and what they should think I should do, if it's me being 'silly' or there is something wrong.
I also understand she's hardworking and getting ready for exams, i'm revising myself, I just feel we should make time for our relationship too.
p.s. One holiday when we came back to university she had been flirting with someone she had known and was aware he liked her. -Thinking about it she communicated much more with him then than she is with me now. It was also at a time before exams, she didn't have a problem with that then.- When I found out I was physically sick, she thought there was nothing wrong with it. I'm worried that this or worse could happen again.
TL;DR: | Help on whether my girlfriend is losing interest in our relationship, or if I'm over-thinking what is going on. Advice on where to go from here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] My girlfriend (20/F) has so many issues and she doesn't know how to take them out on anyone but me. Help.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for over a year now. She had to go away to go to practice writing for a medical school exam. Since then all we've been able to do is talk. I knew before she left that she had issues, but since going away she's gotten a whole bunch more.
She's always had issues with the way she looks, but recently it's been getting bad. No compliments help, and any effort on my part to make her feel better result in the same end.
She has the most obscene anger issues of anyone I know, and gets so easily angered that when I say anything to try and help her problems, it usually ends up with her getting mad at me.
She has family issues, used to cut, has probably tried doing more that I don't know about but I'm the only person who she can talk to about any of her problems and because of this, it backfires on me because I am her only outlet.
I love the girl, but all of her issues end up coming to me, where they usually end up with her getting mad at me due to a disagreement or with the two of us not talking because she doesn't feel the same way I do about her issues.
Reddit, I'm tired of being the only outlet and source of stress relief for my girlfriend's issues. I do not want to break up with her, because when there are no problems, everything is amazing. We're compatible, we both care about each other, but the instant I disagree with her perception of something relating to any of her issues I get a spam of "I hate you" and "Sometimes I wish I wasn't with you" texts.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend has issues, she takes them out on me because she can't talk to anyone else about them and I want to find some other outlet for her to use so I don't become the front of her anger issues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: What would you do if you were me?
POST: I am late 20's with a stable job and a salary around $85,000/year. I have a crossed all my t's and dotted all my i's thanks to this community, and have thankfully saved a nice ~$200,000 worth of retirement savings and personal investments since I was 18.
My question is what to do with my paid in full Universal Life Insurance policy of $290,000. I pay no premiums on this sucker and it has a cash value of ~$30,000 (after withdrawal fees/taxes) and returns a guaranteed 5-6% annually.
If you were me, would you:
*Cash the ULI and invest the ~$30,000 in index funds/ETF's
*Cash the ULI and invest in a play fund (individual stock account)
*Keep the ULI with guaranteed 5-6% annual return
*Take a loan out against the ULI policy and invest the cash (I would have to pay interest on the loan of 5% apr back to myself/policy)
I did not open or pay for this Universal life policy, so we don't have to talk about how terrible they are as "investments" (trust me, I know).
Just wondering if I should keep it as a type of Emergency savings account, or get rid of it and invest the money more wisely.
Would love to hear your thoughts guys and gals!
TL;DR: | What would you do with a paid for Universal Life Policy with ~$30,000 cash value and 5-6% annual return? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by saying I didn't want her number
POST: This happened last night, but it was in the early AM hours so technically today.
Anyway, I'm currently doing some travelling. I decided to spend the month of April in London and it's been great, but my time is nearly up. (Source: Calendar)
I decided to do a pub crawl in the Camden area last night. I'd gotten there a bit late so the introduction phase had passed. Being the introvert I am, I wasn't talking to too many people on my own.
There was a cute girl I'd noticed since I first walked in and I continued to steal glances of her all night. Finally, on the way to the last destination, I struck up conversation with her friend and learned that they all study at Loyola University. I'm a fan of their lacroase team, so I knew that could be my chance to talk to the girl who'd had me so captivated all night. When we all got inside, I made my attempt. Thank you, liquid courage.
We chatted for a bit. She played lacrosse herself! She was funny, knew my hometown (this is big because no one in London seems to be familiar with it), and overall lovely. At one point she said I should get her number so that we might have the chance to run into each other again. This was my drunken, thoughtless response:
"Yeah, but I'm only here for one more weekend so..."
That was it. I killed any notion of ever seeing her again in one sentence. The worst part is I hadn't meant that I didn't want to see her again, because I really did. That was just the logic my inebriated brain decided to put forth...
Kept chatting though and she continued being wonderful. I thought things were going well. I went to the bathroom and when I came back, she and all her friends were gone. Nowhere to be found in the entire club.
TL;DR: | Coolest girl I've met in awhile literally offered me her number and my response made her think I didn't want to see her again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16M] with my GF [17F] of 5 months... She's got rich parents who make close to 7 figures, I've got a more "standard" life. How do I stop feeling so insecure?
POST: I really care for and like my GF, yes we are in high school but i can't preface it enough that our problems are not related to our compassion for one another.
My issue is I feel extremely nervous and anxious about how she has a massive pool of wealth behind her. while I can only hope to one day have that kind of money at my back. She takes trips, has every new electronic and has explored every hobby I have even thought of doing.
on top of that she has a much more happy family life compared to mine, to the point that I don't like bringing up my problems to her about my life.
I feel literately inferior to her to the point its seeping into my everyday life... what can I do to solve this? Breaking up is not a option as I genuinely care for her and want to spend time with her.
She also hates whenever I bring up money. so I don't know how I should bring it up to her sense I will probably need to talk to her about it.
TL;DR: | My GF is rich (I am very much so not) and its making me feel super weird. What should I do about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18/F] went on a great semi-date [22/M] but am I moving too quickly? General advice is appreciated.
POST: Okay, I'm going to try to get all of this down in a clear-ish way. My BF [20/M] of almost 5 months broke up with me about three weeks ago, he broke my heart but I'm working past it and I tend to bounce back from hard times pretty easily. This guy [22/M] and I started flirting a bit last week, just went on a unofficial double date tonight. He was... Amazing. Smart, sweet, cute, seemed very into me. We could have kept talking for hours it felt like. Before we started the date I was super nervous that this would just hurt, that I wasn't ready, that I wouldn't like him or he wouldn't like me. That was all entirely gone by the end of the night, and I was left with this feeling that I would be okay getting hurt again because the potential relationship that this could become would be worth it.
I leave for a month on August 2, so about a week and a half away. I don't want to start a relationship and then disappear (no cell reception or wifi where I'm going,) and he knows I'm doing this too, but after tonight I just want to see him again.
I don't know. I'm confused because I like him, but I also am telling myself not to jump right into something else, but if I leave for a month we certainly won't be jumping into anything, but - but - but there are just so many questions I can't put into words.
I am also afraid of being a serial monogamist, of not being able to handle being single, because last year I jumped between guys kind of quickly.
Sorry reddit, this is sort of stream-of-consciousness. I guess my question is: do any of you have any advice? Is there a right way?
TL;DR: | went on a great date with a new guy, unsure about everything but the fact that I like him, do you have any advice? I |
SUBREDDIT: r/pettyrevenge
TITLE: Not doing your job = more work for you
POST: So I'm a manager at a fairly successful movie theater. For the most part I work in the confessions areas. We hire mainly teenagers......yay. Must of the employees are fairly decent and most will do their jobs. But there is this group of about 3-4 girls that never do their frickin jobs. They just stand around talking and never do anything. I'm a fairly easy going guy and my whole policy is if there are no customers to help and the stand is clean you can talk, but only if your shit is done.
Whenever I see them they are all huddled together like a pack of feeble minded hippos chatting it up. They even do this when there are customers waiting to be helped and I have to tell them to do their fucking job. If I see them standing around and their crap isn't done I'll ask them what they are doing and they will say "we already did everything" bullshit I can fucking see you twats.
So my revenge is I not only painstakingly go through everything they need to do but I make a list of extra hard things to do like mopping the tile walls, detailing the inside of ask our cabinets, get on their hands and knees and scrub out baseboards, the gross stuff that no one usually does, and etc. Basically I make them actually work. Then I check their work and if it's not done properly they get to do it again plus something new. So basically they don't do their extremely easy job without me hassling them first I make it hard. And they can't complain because it's their job and I'm very nice about it. I do this for everyone but they are usually the main culprits.
TL;DR: | girls don't do easy job I make it hard and gross and sticky and make them get on their hands and knees. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using my arms too much.
POST: So this was about seven hours ago when I was still in school. I wanna preface this by saying when I tell stories I tend to be physical in my explanations.
Anyways, so after my calculus class let out, I was talking to one of my friends about the quiz we just had and how difficult it was, but somehow it turned into how drunk we got over the weekend (Don't ask me how). As I was explaining the deranged dance I was doing while under the influence, I swung my arms out while walking backwards and smacked this tiny grade 9 (I assume) girl in the face. HARD. I felt bad and tried to find her, to explain and calm her down but I had no luck. About halfway into the last period, I was called to this office, I immediately started to panic and my hysteria grew as I made my way to the office. As I walked into the office and noticed the little girl cowering with the imprint of my hand on her face. Apparently it was quite severe because her parents were there, giving me glares of death as I walked into the principal's office. After a chat with the principal I got off with a warning and but I'm pretty sure I ruined that girls experience at my school.
TL;DR: | I was explaining a story about my weekend, smacked a girl in the face, ruined her experience at high school. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] am an overweight, bald, and hairy man who has never dated. What do I do?
POST: Not sure if this was the appropriate sub but this is one of my favorite subs so I'll give it a shot
Puberty was not kind to me. I started balding immediately around 16-17 and sprouted long thick hairs all over my body. I absolutely hated it. Couple that with thick glasses and an overweight body and you have someone with zero self esteem. Oddly enough I still had women interested but I brushed them off. It has been years and nothing has really improved and I'm now almost 30 with arrested emotional development. I feel behind.
The problem is, I'm very limited in what I can do. Sure I can shave my head, grow a beard, lose weight, and dress fashionably but I just look terrible. I fucking hate that look. People will point to guys like Tim Howard but personally, I think he looks ridiculous.
It's hard for me to get past this and start dating because I'm so full of resentment towards everybody, even people I haven't met. I'm simply at a loss. And therapy is too expensive, forget that.
TL;DR: | Bald, hairy, and overweight and hate the way I look. Never dated and don't know where to start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (17m) don't know what to do about (15f) who I care about (and 16f) who would make a great SO and I need help deciding.
POST: I've been talking to Girl A (15f) since November. We've liked each other and I've wanted to date. She seems to be afraid of commitment and I don't think she really gets the sacrifices you need to make for your SO in a relationship. We've gotten in a fight a couple weeks ago and I broke things off pretty much. No talking at all. So me and Girl B (16f) are in the same math class and have become friends over the semester. We start talking outside of class. We went on a date last Friday night. We did makeout.
Saturday there was a big athletic event for A and afterwards I texted/tweeted as many people I could on her team including her. We started talking again.
Recently I had been thinking about my situation and I just feel like I need her. There's not an obvious reason. I've gone through some shit in the last few months including slight depression and she was always there. And I feel like I need that still. But girl B is really cool too. And girl B wants to be serious which I value considering I'll be moving to college next year. But I just don't feel like I'm "all there" for B right now. I know that A seems to put her friends and random stupid things above me but I want it to work.
My best friend barely talks to me anymore because she hates that I still want A.
TL;DR: | Have had an unofficial relationship/"thing" with girl A for almost 5 months. Took a break and now there's girl B but I feel like I still want girl A who I've only been on one date with. |
Subsets and Splits