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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [26 M] in a happy 2.5y relationship with my partner [25F], but in the past two months I've wanted to be single. Not sure what to do...
POST: Basically everything in my relationship is great. We get along well, have fun together, share friends, and love each other, but the feeling of wanting to be single is getting stronger and stronger for me. I've been trying to fight these feelings, because I don't want to hurt her and the rational part of me tells me I would be making a mistake. But the desire to be single only grows stronger.
What should I do? Is it normal to feel this way? Should I keep fighting these feelings and hope they pass, or do I need to accept that I am falling out of love and end the relationship?
Breaking up would be a huge shock for her. She would definitely not see it coming. If I break up, what is the nicest way to do it?
These feelings have been driving me to a mild depression lately. I feel so conflicted, and even worse I feel like I have betrayed her just by having these thoughts.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Any suggestions?
TL;DR: | In a happy relationship. Love my girlfriend, but I deli like I'm not in love anymore and want to be single. Will these feelings pass, or should I end the relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by doing my teacher a favor.
POST: This just happened today, and I still don't know how the situation will turn out for me.
The story begins as I walk into English class for third period this morning. My teacher is finishing setting up and realized she needs something for the lesson. Me being the helpful young man that I am, I ask if there was anything I could get for her. It turned out she had left a file of papers in her bag in her office (my school is overcrowded so many teachers have offices and go around to different rooms throughout the day. She then gives me the keys, I get the bag and return to class.
Fast forward to the very end of the school day. As I am getting ready to leave my last period, I am called down to the office to see the principle. It turns out that another student had seen me walk out of the office with the bag. I was then told that if I didn't return the bag, I would receive harsh consequences, and several days of suspension. When I tried to explain what had actually happened, the principle reluctantly said she would talk to the teacher. Unfortunately, that teacher happened to leave for the week to go to a teacher's convention in another state. Guess what? The school has no record of any contact information other than her staff email address! So here I am now serving in school suspension for the week because I did my English teacher a nice favor when she was I a bit of a pickle.
TL;DR: | I try to do my teacher a nice thing by fetching her bag for her, but end up getting slammed by my grouchy principle with in school suspension until I return the bag I don't even have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking it was all a dream [NSFW]
POST: This happened a few days ago, but I couldn't post it because I was busy with all its legal issues
So I am kind of a nerd, but I like sex a ton. Who doesn't?
I recently got this new app for lucid dreaming, and basically you keep it on and it repeatedly tells you that you are dreaming. I was supposed to tell the app when I went to bed, and turn it off in the morning. It kind of has like a sleep tracker also.
So I try this thing out, and after a week I don't think it is working. That is, until a little while ago.
So I went to bed for a nap, everything normal, the sound turned to full. I planned on napping and then hitting up the bar, since its Friday night and I'm alone. I wake up, but I forget to turn it off. Of course I didn't know that then.
So I finally got to the bar and found this gorgeous blonde girl at a bar. I start talking to her, when BAM, I hear my dreadful phone.
"You are dreaming"
At first, I think shit, what am I gonna do. Then my raging hormones take over. I thought I was really lucid dreaming. Now I did not mention that this girl's fits were HUGE. I mean her rack was so large you could practically park your car on it.
So thinking this is a dream, I just say fuck It, and so I chug my beer, and full on grab her tits. I then start to try and kiss her, but she bitch slaps me.
She calls me a huge perv and calls for help.
I thought that this was lucid dreaming, so I thought I could control what happens. So when a nearby man who saw what happened tries to help her out, I kind of waved my hand at him like Obi Wan Kenobi and tell him to go back.
I then get knocked out, and wake up in a police station.
TL;DR: | Thought I was dreaming, grabbed a girl's tits because I can do what I want when I dream. End up getting knocked out and registered as a sex offender |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Ready to move on to the next stage of my life, but my finances are a mess. Need basic help setting my financial life straight.
POST: I've been with my SO for a few years and we're finally ready to take the plunge into marriage. She has a 700+ credit rating, has never payed a bill late in her life and is just about the most responsible person I know when it comes to money. I am the exact opposite.
My parents were never beacons of financial prudency so I never learned the skills I needed to keep myself out of trouble. Due to this, and my own irresponsibility, I now a have a torrid history of delinquent bills and even a car repossession. I've never qualified for a CC and my credit rating is hovering somewhere around the low, low 500s.
Recently all of this came to a head when I tried to get a new car after my old one crapped out on me. I was being offered IRs of ~17% for a 60 month loan, which I couldn't afford. I also have had my wages garnished for failure to pay student loans, although I will have them paid off completely in a few months.
So far my SO has been extremely supportive, but I am worried. I am worried that my terrible habits will affect our financial future together and make it difficult for us to do something like buying a house or a car together.
I'm starting from scratch, trying to change habits a decade in the making. Any books that you could recommend or advice that you could give to help me repair my finances would be most welcome. Thank you.
TL;DR: | my credit is a mess, I have terrible financial habits, my SO is a credit GOD so I want to repair my finances before it solidly impacts us. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] with my flatmate [18 F] my flatmate confessed her love to me.
POST: I have been living with my female flatmate for approximately 6 months. Last night our flat had drinks and she pretty much confessed that she wants to be with me. I don't feel the same way and she is currently with one of my good friends in a relationship.
Her heart is broken because she always hoped. I don't know how to comfort her because usually she would turn to me for help but im the problem.
I always knew she felt this way but she never brought it up. Shes probably my best friend and i don't want to lose her. But fuck there's just a barrier now. I'm trying to get her to talk to her friends about it and she is currently at one of her girl friends house. Which i think is good, she needs to be away from me. She tells me she hates me now, because it would be easier to live with someone you hate. I don't know, i think shes just angry now.
Any advice or words would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | Flatmate confessed love to me, don't feel the same way back. Not sure what to do to comfort her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Possible aggravated stalking or harassment?
POST: One of my neighbors, or possibly my parents, have a surveillance system set up. Now this would not at all bother me, I'd have one set up if I was a home owner as well. What does bother me though is my suspicion that it is being used to target me and inform people of when I leave my house, be it by car or on foot and I've frankly had enough.
There have been instances when I've gone on simple walks to the store and people have known I was going to be there beforehand. It's gotten to the point where people would literally slander me and persuade store clerks to make me sick (one clerk rubbed something on my pack of cigarettes I purchased, I have no evidence, but I know it's a fact).
Despite how outrageous this sounds, please just assume I'm right and I know what I'm talking about. These things are happening, and they have put me at a higher risk for isolated incidents of harassment. Local law enforcement already know, and I filed a single report once I became suspicious, how ever as I said, I believe I was either being slandered/defamed or someone was being convinced it was ok for illegitimate reasons.
TL;DR: | How does one properly investigate an instance of possibly illegal surveillance or misuse of such surveillance? Also, what is the proper legal option for defamation of character and possible harassment? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [15/m] Hey, I'm in a relationship and i dont know what to do...
POST: Hey everybody, let me start from the begining. i met her at a school football game, she was dating another guy then but eventually she broke up with him and we got together. now that we are together im not sure if i even like her for who she is, do you guys know what im talking about? because for me i want my relationships to be about who eachother are not just the physical benefits of it (we havent done anything serious). But i feel like if i break up with her i will be acting like an asshole because in my last relationship i broke up with my girlfriend souly on the basis that i didnt like who she was or her personality at all.
im really confused and not sure at all what i should do, i dont want to be the guy who breaks up with girls after he makes out with them. but i also dont want to be the guy who stays in a relationship with a girl just for the physical. becasue i really care about being with someone who i like and can talk to easily, you know? keep in mind this is only my second relationship also we are the same age feel free to ask any questions you want...
TL;DR: | i dont know what to do about my relationship i want to be able to talk to her and relate but i find it awkward |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21M] love my SO [19F] to much to break her heart. Wat do
POST: We are coming up on our 6th months here and I feel like its a kind of milestone when its time to really commit or get out. So here it is
The breakdown: So we met on tinder pretty much out of desperation and after a couple months doing the fuck buddy thing it kind of got to the point where we were doing all the dating stuff except actually dating. So we start talking and weve been together since.
The truth: Im pretty sure I love her but not the way I think she says she loves me. I mean that I never want to see her unhappy, and shes so nice and deserves nothing less. She acts like we will be together. The problem is I dont think im attracted to her really on a physical level, she doesnt wear makeup, she wears her brothers old shirts, so shes kind of a tom boy. Like she is so nice but sometimes i have no urge to have sex when we hangout. When I imagine spending our life together it instantly makes me want to hit the road. As bad as it sounds she is also really broke, like I dont expect her to buy me stuff, but she is so broke her phone has been off for 2 months and at this point its getting financially taxing just to spend time with her.
The options: Miss right now V Miss right, using our age difference to cleanly separate when I graduate The bandaid, just do it and hope it was the best decision Go with it (what ive been doing) Im super comfortable not chasing girls at the bar and I like doing the gf thing but I just dont know if shes the one and sometimes it gets taxing Please if anyone has a different outlook or opinion or option or even situation feel free to share
TL;DR: | I love my gf but not romantically. I would like to pursue other girls but I dont know how to please everyone |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25 F] fiance [31 M] moved in 2 months ago has a really high sex drive and I don't know how to keep up
POST: My fiance and I met 7 years ago when he was in med school while I was an undergraduate. We met in LA, and I stayed for work while he moved to Seattle for residency. It was difficult with the distance, but 5 years later of hard work, phone calls, and monthly visits, he proposed upon finishing his residency and getting a job in LA. He moved into my apartment, and we have been living a really happy life.
Don't get me wrong, I love my fiance. He is really interesting and cares about me so much. The only thing that we don't match up on is our sex drive... in med school he didn't have much time and we would have sex a few times a week, when he was in Seattle, we couldn't leave bed the entire time we saw each other. Living together now, I have found he has a **really** high sex drive. I thought it was from the excitement of being engaged and moving in, but it has been 2 months now.
Whenever I am not in the mood, I ask him if he's ok to put it off for later, and he agrees, but I can tell he's hurt. He never makes me upset and cares so much about me, so seeing him be down trodden makes me upset. I honestly don't know how to keep up.
Does anyone have similar issues? How do you keep your partner with a higher sex drive from being hurt? I know he isn't going to cheat, but it's almost like he is personally insulted when I don't want to have sex.
TL;DR: | Fiance has a really high sex drive, and I don't know how to keep from hurting him when I tell him I'm not in the mood. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my ex [20M/F], 2 years on/off. How do I get over her?
POST: Long story short, I don't know how to get over my ex. We broke up about 3 months ago over a petty argument and this isn't the first break up.
The first time, she cheated on me. And after that I ended up getting back with her even though I went through hell and back. I knew our relationship was toxic but I did it anyways. I thought everything was going good until I found out that she was still talking to the guy (they're childhood friends) she cheated one me with. They were together for 3 months during the duration of our first breakup.
I tried to be civil about it and asked her to stop talking to him but it didn't work. I loved her a lot (she's my first love) so I just wanted to be with her. I guess I know it's my fault because I couldn't get over their relationship.
After my ex went to France to study abroad, I thought everything would be okay. Then she cheated on me by fucking with other guys while she was in Europe and still talking to that ex of hers. When we argued, she defended him even though she said they weren't anything but friends and that he was a good listener and fun to talk to. We ended up breaking up again before she even came back to the States.
After a month or so, I found out that she was fucking him again but insisted to everyone that they weren't going out. I also found out that he and another of her exes have taken advantage of her sexually during the duration I've known her while she was either drunk or asleep.
I also found out that it's a regular occurrence with this guy because he forces her to drink.
TL;DR: | I want to get over her but I still really care about her. I also don't know how to handle this situation. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: I'm feeling the need to "take back" our wedding.
POST: It's unfortunate, but my parents are being parentzillas. My fiance and I don't really want a huge blowout thing. We honestly started out with the idea of a backyard bbq.
I'm so frustrated. Our list is up to 175 people from the 100 we wanted originally. (and that was pushing it)
Last night I was talking to my mom and she was talking about the shower they're throwing and said "hope the food doesn't outdo your sliders for the wedding haha!" What the heck? These are (semi) rational people.
I want to go elope at this point, but my grandma means the world to me, and I couldn't do that to her, and his family is amazing.
I don't know what to do, or how to take back our wedding without sounding like a bridezilla. They gave us (some) money for our wedding, but we honestly wouldn't have needed it if they hadn't taken over. :(
TL;DR: | My parents are taking over the wedding, and I don't know how to take it back without sounding like a bridezilla. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: what do i (30f) do about this guy (35m)?
POST: for a few reasons, i'm not looking for a relationship right now. i have complicated scenarios with a long-distance ex who may be moving back and all kinds of stuff. just not looking right now, but i'm pretty live-in-the-moment, and i'm down to have fun with whoever comes along in the meantime. this guy asks me out and he's really cute and fun. i say ok, but i say pretty up front that while i'm single, things are complicated so i'm really only available for fun and hang&bang.
he went through a brutal divorce last year and hasn't dated since. seems like she fucked him up pretty bad. thing is, he's getting pretty attached already it seems. planning cute dates, major affection, all that. super sweet person. i've been up front, but i don't wanna hurt the guy or lead him on either.
i'd like to keep hanging out like we are, but i don't want to fuck him up, especially if he's lost all trust in women from what he's been through.
TL;DR: | question: is it presumptuous of me to try to protect him from himself and wind this whole thing down? i've been honest, and he's acknowledged it and says it's cool, but his actions speak differently. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31/M] get attached to easily.... Have met two girls in the last year. They both started things.... How do you get over it and move on?
POST: Long story short.... I got separated from my wife for the third and final time last year. We met at 16. I've never done the dating thing. She was my first serious girlfriend. Also, the only girl I've had sex with... It's not religious or anything, just how it happened.....
It seems that when I meet a girl I'm into, she's all I think about, all I want, and I get attached really easily..... I have to admit that I WANT a relationship, but I'm not willing to settle either... I've had plenty of opportunities to get laid.... I'm not interested in that. I just want more!
Can anyone give me some insight as to how you get over a relationship? Keep in mind, neither have been long term. One lasted two weeks and the other was about a month from the time we started chatting to our last date.
TL;DR: | I get overly attached... I know it but, I feel like I'm lying to myself if I don't act.... |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I feel backed into a metaphorical corner.
POST: I'm 19, male, studying CS in my first year, and I'm not sure what I want to do with my life. My CS classes are very hard and extremely time consuming, and I've never had a formal job before in my life (never needed one).
I thought I wanted to do CS because I am very creative and enjoy creating things. I've written songs, stories, and plays, but this was one of my first years seriously writing code (largely in C++ if you're curious). I actually enjoyed it at first. My first two introductory classes were enjoyable for the most part, and I learned a lot. Then came the third introductory class and things took off to a whole new level and I began to struggle hard.
One of the few relevant things going for me is the possibility of an internship this summer for a data company, but if I do take the job, I won't enjoy it. I'll sit by myself at a keyboard for hours on end, while I try to keep up with content I haven't seen or worked with before in a language I don't really understand. The boss told me himself that they expect their interns and employees to pick up things very quickly and adapt to whatever the circumstances may be at a moment's notice. If the level of adaptability needed is anything like what my third class is like, I'll have more gray hairs than Jay Leno by 30.
My mom is very insistent that I finish at least two years of CS and to pursue this opportunity because she thinks I'm lazy and spoiled and have nothing else to do with my life at this point.
TL;DR: | My classes have increased exponentially in difficulty, my mom thinks I'm lazy, and I have an opportunity to intern doing work I won't enjoy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Awkwardness between me [21F] and roommate/friend [21F]
POST: One of my roommates has been my best friend throughout college, and though we've gotten through strains in our friendship before, I feel like it's dwindling out and now it just feels awkward to be around her, and I have no idea how do deal with it.
About a year ago, we decided we would move in together, and officially started living together in September with two other girls. The two other girls and I bonded pretty well pretty fast, but my friend (I'll call her L) was always so busy with her new boyfriend and work that she was hardly around. We could tell that L kind of resented that me and roommates always were able to spend time together, but at the same time, L could have made a little more effort, maybe sparing one of the 4 days out of the week that she spends with her SO to spend time with us (or just me).
I feel a little resentment towards L too. I get that in a new relationship you want to spend a lot of time with your SO (and he's a great person), but I feel left in the dust now. Before we moved in together and before this relationship, L and I had all these fun plans, but we haven't spent any time together since moving in, and she is almost never without her SO.
She also just became sour-- she talks down to me and others a lot and in general has a bad attitude, and so I decided to separate myself from her because I have a ton of other stuff going on in my life and I didn't want to deal with her negative energy.
I'm fine with this friendship ending, I've been expecting it and tbh she can be pretty toxic. However, it just feels awkward to be around her and we tend to avoid each other, avoiding the negative energy that's still between us. How can I still live comfortably and also avoid any uncomfortable confrontation?
TL;DR: | My friendship with a current roommate is dwindling out, and now I'm stuck with a lot of awkwardness and negative energy between us. How do I deal with it, both personally and when with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] am going to take my boyfriend [22 M] to meet my parents
POST: Okay, so I have been with him for four months now, it is a long distance relationship. It was honestly love at first sight, I saw him, was attracted and same happend to him. That day he asked for my phone number and we havent stopped talking ever since.
The thing is, he was a drug addict. He told me everything about it, all his struggles, addictions to drugs I didnt even know existed and just things in general that kind of scared me away from him. This is where it starts to get tricky.
You see, he loves me deeply, and honestly I truly believe him, I am the first girl he ever took to his parents, he did a lot of treatments and stuff to prove to me that he in fact, left and is willing to leave drugs for me.
The issue is that, I do love him but the thing is my parents love me deeply and I know that if they found out about his past they would kill me, my parents are already so freaked out to meet him (first bf, am the smallest child), also, mom is kind of a narcissist, so social status is really important to her.
Im so scared, honestly I dont know, Ive never brought a bf home.. let alone someone with a past so dark. So I dont know what to do, I guess I just need some words of wisdom of people who went through this.
Thanks for reading, I hope you have words of wisdom for me, if not, thanks for reading my problems!
TL;DR: | Taking boyfriend to meet the parents. He has a past of drug addiction. Scared as hell. Dont know what to do. Heeeeeelp |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: M/26/NY/G.E.D. only, living in the U.S. for 4years, comfortably making 50k as Retail Supervisor, single. I want to take the next step in my career but not with my company (more details in comments)
POST: I work for Costco, it's a fast paced, high stress kind of job but overall comfortable and enjoyable. I live with my parents I pay them rent with my total obligatory expenses monthly coming around 1,600, about 8% goes to 401k, leaving me with around 1,000 free after taxes . I want to move out eventually get a house, have a family and all that good stuff but I feel like it's not enough on my current salary.
I have been a supervisor a year and a half and could be promoted to Manager pretty much whenever I wanted, my boss really likes me and keeps telling me I should apply for a position the problem is this:
Managers for Costco are non-union, salaried employees meaning that right of the bath you are expected to work a minimum of 9+hours a day, with no defined lunch break or overtime. Managers at my location work 10 hrs everyday minimum, rarely taking more than 15 minutes to grab a quick bite, and with tremendous amounts of work and pressure from the G.M.
Starting salary? 62,000 with a fixed 3% annual increase and the possibility to climb the ladder, 65,500 senior manager, 73,000 Asst GM, 100k plus G.M. all these starting salaries. In my current position I'm a unionized employee, 40 hrs a week, overtime , two paid 15 minutes breaks and one unpaid half for lunch. I've been thinking long and hard about going for the promotion but I'm not willing/ready to give my life to the company in exchange for a better salary. But at the same time my position is a dead end, I'm 27 with no superior education. What would you do? Man up and stick with it, go for a bachelor degree? Are there any entry level companies that would hire someone with my credentials for a similar salary?
TL;DR: | Making 50k, 26 in NY (fucking housing rates) comfortable dead end job, have the possibility of making 62k selling my soul to my retail employer. Looking for advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I am a [M21] who has trust issues, and not because my girlfriend [F21] ever did anything to deserve it.
POST: So a long story short about our relationship. We were friends for a year and a half, and now have been dating for a year and a half. She is studying abroad in Spain for 60 days, so far it has been seven. Our relationship is strong and I have never been happier (nor she I hope!)
So I never dated anyone before her. I never kissed anyone before her. She has all my firsts. Her on the other hand... She has dated other people and kissed other guys. Two notable incidents are (before we dated) drunk made out with my best friend twice and drunk made out with her roommates boyfriends roommate.
Because of those things (even though it was before we dated) I have this fear of being cheated on. I don't know why! So, for example, she says she is going some place with some girls and going to grab drinks after, I get sick to my stomach for a while imagining a scenario where she cheats on me or drunk kisses some guy and I lose her.
There is no grounds for this I don't think. I don't tell her because she doesn't deserve to be scrutinized because of my insecurities! How can I just become more trusting because she has been nothing but trustworthy, especially while she studies abroad!?? I think it is rooted in my lack if experience in dating and or any intamicy with the opposite sex before her!
TL;DR: | I have trust issues for no reason. Struggling to cope with it rather than keep it bottled inside me. Don't want my GF to hear anything about it because she deserves my trust. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (F19) Boyfriend (M21) Doesn't Love Me
POST: I've been seeing my boyfriend, 21, since last December and we have been exclusive since March. In late August, after having been together 5 months, I told him that I loved him. He said it back, everything was good, woohoo.
Flash forward to a week later, I said it again for the first time since my initial declaration. He told me he had been drunk when I said it the first time (I knew he was drinking, but I didn't realize he was intoxicated) and he wasn't ready to say it again. He said he didn't regret saying it, and that he cares about me a lot. I was sad, but I decided to give him time.
It's been a month, and I haven't said it again, and neither has he. I don't know what to do. He's my first boyfriend, and on top of that, I lost my virginity to him a few months ago. I want to be patient, because I really do love him, but I feel like I deserve to be with someone who loves me. When we're together, we're great, we never argue, we're really good for each other, but I don't want to be strung along. He's graduating in the spring and he doesn't know what he's going to do or where he'll be, so maybe that's part of it? I don't really know.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend of 6 months is wonderful but he can't seem to say the L word. (Not "lesbian") |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 M] platonic love for a flatmate [20 F] has turned romantic and I feel a little incesty about it.
POST: First off, we are university fresher's
I come from a slightly (**extremely**) messed up (**twisted**) background, moving out of the family home has done wonders for me, I have matured greatly and generally become more "myself". I am however still completely unfamiliar with "courting" (**and I don't want to fuck this up**)
I've never wanted to advance our relationship while we are living together. we are living very close but not together next year.
The last few weeks have been extremely painful for me; she sleeps around a **lot**. I have just had to watch and try and help her avoid making bad decisions.
I'm going to attempt some sort of diagram to show the progression of our relationship each number represents about a week:
---
key:
1: acquaintance---------------2: friend
3: close friend-----------------4: almost sibling
5: I fell in love with her...----6: pretty sure she like-liked/ fancied me for a while
---
Me :11 2222 3333333333 4444444444 555
Her:111 222 66 333333 444444444444444
TL;DR: | I was perfectly happy and content with our platonic love then some asshole chemicals in my brain decided I love her romantically now I would do anything for her. what would you do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Boyfriend advice??
POST: Alright, so here it is.
I have been dating this guy for seven months now, and he just recently moved about an hour away for a job. I'm not 18 yet, (17) so I wasn't able to go with him. Ever since he left, I had been hearing all these stories about him cheating on me out there and even him cheating while he was with me here. I didn't know if I should believe it or not, so I asked him, and every time I asked, the conversation would end up with him yelling and cussing at me. So, I gave up, and stopped talking to him a few days. Yesterday, he decides to text me and ask for me back, saying that he has never cheated and he has not partied since he left (which I know for a fact is a lie). I decide to take him back and trust him. Then, I tell him that Saturday I was planning on hanging out with one of my guy friends (I don't get along with girls at all!) and he gets mad at me and tells me he doesn't want me to go. I just don't understand, I gave him all my trust back, after hearing all that, and he doesn't trust me when I tell him upfront that I'm hanging out with a guy, and I have no bad intentions.
TL;DR: | Heard stories about my bf cheating on me hardcore, took him back, gave him my trust back, and he does not trust me to go and spend a night with a friend, when I told him upfront about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my GF [30 F] 5 years. She doesn't like using birth control and I am constantly worried about pregnancy.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together for five years and like every couple have talked about kids in the future. The problem is that she isn't on the pill and hates when I wear condoms. I have on many occasions tried to tell her that I want to wear one and had her pressure me not to. Luckily we have not had any unplanned situations arise, but every month that passes feels like I am playing on house money and taking a huge risk.
The thing that sucks is that she has never been on birth control the entire time we have dated and I have never pressured her to get on it because she said she doesn't like the effects it has on her body and I respect that. However, she also doesn't like the way that condoms feel (as if anyone does), hence the predicament I am in.
I am planning to quit my job soon to pursue my own business and I am very worried about potential pregnancy and the uncertainty with my finances. She says that she doesn't want kids right now but a big part of me believes that deep down she would be happy if she got pregnant.
I truly love her and I can see myself with her long term. I just feel so stressed about the possibility and know this is something that I cannot deal with whenever I begin pursuing my own business full-time. I am trying to figure out the best way to approach this. I don't want to break up, but if she stays adamant about not using condoms and continues to not want to take birth control I don't know what else to do?
TL;DR: | Been with GF 5 years, she doesn't like using birth control, and I can't have a kid right now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Reddit, my brothers and rarely see each other. I want to plan something fun for this holiday. What do?!(Long Island, NYC area)
POST: I have two older brothers. They both live in New York, but I live in Boston. I want to plan something really fun for the three of us to in the Long Island/NYC/Westchester/North Jersey/South CT areas, since I'm visiting for the holidays. I want it to be their Christmas gifts.
We're young (21,28,31 y/o). I'm thinking something along the lines of gun lessons, high speed go karts, etc. Just semi-extreme fun stuff. Oldest brother is deathly afraid of heights, so things like skydiving/bungee jumping are out (but something like a helicopter ride would be okay).
I'm on a somewhat tight budget, but if there's something that I HAVE to do, please let me know about it. I've searched for hours at this point and I'm having no luck, so I figured I'd see if Reddit could work its magic.
TL;DR: | Three 20-30 y/o brothers need something memorable to do this holiday break in the New York Tri-State Area. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How to get ride of an harasser ?
POST: My SO had this friend a little weird, which had obviously a crush on her, and which had been friendzoned a long time ago.
Since the past few weeks, I'm worried about his behavior : first, while drunk, he introduced into her mailbox, and changed her password. Then, when we discover it (protip : do not use two different ISP.), he was asked to not talk to my girlfriend or her friends during few weeks. He broke that request, and she now regularly receive sms from him. The last one takes about 40 lines about how he is sorry. He also said to her janitor that she gave him the authorization to bring a packet in her appartment. It was obviously wrong. We still don't know what is in this packet (which IS CURRENTLY in her appartment), since we are in vacation.
I do not want that anything bad happen to me or my girlfriend, but I don't really know how to deal with this kind of person.
I should probably add that I live faaar away from my girlfriend, so it's kinda hard to talk to him directly (even if it's probably what I'll do the next week).
Please Reddit, have you ever dealt with this kind of person before ? :(
TL;DR: | A friendzoned is creeping. Broke mailbox passwords, then brought 'surprise' box into SO's appartment without permission after getting asked to make a step back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Following up after a long time
POST: I'm in an interesting position right now and am in need of some help.
Backstory: A friend of mine's sister helped me land an interview at a great company as a fundraiser. She told me to submit my resume and cover letter through her. I did and waited. About 2 weeks later I get an email from them asking me to come in for an interview the following week and they asked when i was available. I followed up gave my availability then didn't hear back. The next week I emailed again giving my schedule for the following week. I got a response this time stating I will be told early that week when my interview will be. Wait another week and you guessed it nothing. So i call and the person I had been in contact with is super apologetic, the company has been really busy, they moved buildings, yada yada yada. She promises me an interview the next week. Wednesday evening of that week I get an email asking if I can come in the next day to meet with the Director, Associate Director, and one of the Coordinators. I say of course and get there promptly 15 minutes before the interview. The interview, I feel went great, and the company seems so awesome. I left the interview stupidly without asking what the timeline would be and now I am sort of hanging out in limbo waiting on them again. I sent a Thank You the evening after my interview and its been a little over a week since.
Problem: Should I follow up, or should I wait longer? I've been unemployed for about 8 months and my patience is wearing thin, This is why i come to you all for help.
TL;DR: | After waiting a month to go in for an interview, I finally went in, it went great and now its been a little over a week and I dont know if/how i should follow up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any Jehovah's Witnesses (or ex), I need some advice on a family situation
POST: The situation is thus:
In my mothers family, she has one sister who is a JW, married to an elder and another sister who has recently been disfellowshipped. My uncle, who is not a witness is getting married this weekend. My aunt's husband, the elder, was told tonight at a meeting that it was innapropriate for him to go to the wedding as it would mean coming into contact with my disfellowshipped aunt, but if he still wanted to, he could go but it would mean stepping down as an elder.
Now because of this, my aunt who is married to him and their two grown-up daughters are not attending the wedding. She just informed my mother who is now having a serious discussion with my father as to whether they should go or not.
Now I've not gone to the meetings in about 8 years and don't have much of an idea where to go from here. I always thought that necessary family contact with someone who has been disfellowshipped was ok and a wedding came under that category.
My brother recently got married and my disfellowshipped aunt was not invited at all, which I felt was extremely cruel. And now for part of the family to not go just because she is going to be there just feels like a real kick in the teeth. And it may also influence my parents into not going also.
The whole situation has upset me a great deal and though I've not spoken to anyone from my mothers side of the family yet, I know it is going to upset them, especially the uncle who is getting married (he lives in New York and his fiancee is Swedish, so a lot of people are travelling a long way for this to be held in Ireland).
I will still be attending but I need to convince my parents that it will be ok for them to attend.
TL;DR: | A disfellowshipping (is that a word?) is about to cause some problems and upset for my family at my uncles wedding |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Girlfriend [22/f] is too clingy and it is ruining our relationship. I [22/m] enjoy having time to myself and she doesn't let me because she is constantly with me.
POST: Background: We are both in college, and met while working before going to university. We have been together for over a year and have been in a serious relationship.
There is another underlying issue that is playing a large part in this. My gf's housemate is very pushy and demanding of her. Asking to do all kinds of unnecessary cleaning, constantly getting mad over little things, i.e. leaving box of cereal on the counter. Despite my insistence of her standing her ground, she likes to avoid confrontation and staying home.
This has led my gf to spending almost all of her time at my place, I have told her time and again this is not acceptable and she cannot live here with me. (We sleep together every night, eat breakfast, lunch, dinner, shower, work out, study, go to classes, everything.)
Every time I tell her I need space and she needs to go home she gets upset and does whatever she can to avoid her place, going to cafes, calling friends, going to the library, etc. When I do force her to go home she will cower in her room to avoid the housemate. In the end I feel terrible because I know my gf doesn't feel safe at home and she feels safe and comfortable with me.
This however has been taking a toll on me. I cannot stand spending more than a few hours a day with anyone, whether it is my mother, brother, girlfriend, or any other human being. We are constantly arguing about her fighting back with the housemate, and my need for space. I am getting exhausted and desperate for advice as to what I should do without making her go home and feeling guilty about it later.
TL;DR: | Gf's housemate is a total prick so she basically lives with me, I cannot stand it and need alone time. I feel guilty sending her home. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Friends with benefits?
POST: I am 19/m. Recently, I confessed my affections for one of my friends (21/f, lets call her Kat), who basically told me that a relationship was not going to happen. I took the bad news like a champ, because I honestly didn't expect much different, and we both decided to just stay friends.
Two days later, we watched a movie on her bed. Because it's late, when the movie finishes I decide that I'm just going to fall asleep right there. While lying there in the dark, Kat begins to repeat all of the reasons why we aren't dating, almost to herself. As she talks, I inch my body closer and closer to hers, until we are technically spooning. My nose brushes up against her ear, which turns out to be one of her (many) sensitive spots. She lets out a small moan, a confirmation of the desire I could already sense. I jumped on top of her and we kissed furiously, letting out all of the sexual tension that had collected the past two days. Then it is over, and we go back to lying as we were.
And so it continues. During the day we treat each other exactly the same, and at night we have make outs, hand jobs and dry humps (she is wary about going all out yet). But it is killing me on the inside a little bit. I don't want to just be scratching my sexual itch with her, I want to be with her! Not to mention that she is still technically available, and every guy I see hit on her makes me want to commit homicide. It's putting me in a bad place. Kat still refuses to date (she just came out of a pretty bad relationship), so I'm lost. Do I continue with this, and wait until she wants to actually date? Do I stop it right now, before I break down from the stress of this whole thing? I don't want to give it up, because this pseudo-sex is better than just staying friends. Is there any way I can reconcile my emotions to this type of relationship?
TL;DR: | girl wants to do (almost) everything without actually dating. I want to date, but it's not going to happen. How do I deal with this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17 M] with my Girlfriend [17 F] of 9 months, she keeps cancelling plans and I found out she lied. What do I do?
POST: My girlfriend has been cancelling plans at a very high rate recently. This week only she cancelled 5 different days we were supposed to meet each other.
Friday she said that she was spending time with her mum, Saturday and Sunday she cancelled plans so that she could hang out with her friends, Monday she says shes with her mum again and Tuesday shes hanging out with friends again.
I have nothing against her cancelling time with me for her to spend time with her mum, but I discovered that she was lying about why she cancelled Tuesday.
When I asked why she cancelled Tuesday she said that her friends *only* day off was on Tuesday *or* Sunday, only one day. I asked her again today and her story changed and she told me that her friend is free on Tuesday *and* Sunday. I felt crushed.
Now I dont know whether to even believe shes going to be hanging out with her mum? What do I do and what do I tell her?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend cancelled 5 times in 1 week, I discovered she lied about the reason for why she cancelled 1 day and now I dont know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 10 months, I think I found a clip of her in a porn
POST: So I have a girlfriend who at no point has any prejudices against me masturbating, but today when I was browsing through the internet I found a five second gif of a sight that although I cannot be positive it her looks awfully like her. The shot never shows the whole face otherwise this question would be cut and dry. I want to confront her about it because it is eating me up inside.
I have never had any inkling that she has been unfaithful but now my confidence is shattered. The aspects of the clip make me think it was something recent. I worry that if I ask:
1) she will be offended I would even consider her possible of that
2) it is her and she doges or lies about the situation
3) this damages trust between us even if it isn't her
What would you do in this situation?
TL;DR: | looking to jerk it, come across gif of what may or may not be my girlfriend, is it even acceptable to bring it up to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can r/relationships tell me if I am being an idiot?
POST: My girlfriend and I are both 21. We have been dating for 2 years. We just decided to start having sex and it has been great. We have even decided that we dont need to have sex to keep our relationship exciting. I feel that we have connected on a much more emotional level and things are great.
Fast forward to yesterday, I am cramming for finals and she goes to the bars with friends from work. A mixture of guys and girls, mind you I have complete trust in my girlfriend. However, we were talking about it and I asked her if she danced with any guys and she said yeah. I causally asked her about it and she was semi grinding/dancing with multiple men. One of which I am somewhat friends with. It kind of bothered me but I didnt feel the need to argue about it, I just said that I am a little disappointed.
What do you all expect from your significant other? Is this something that is acceptable?
TL;DR: | serious girlfriend of 2 years doesnt think it is a big deal to dance with other men at bars and it bothers me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] my girlfriend [18 F] 6 months, is upset and distracting me from revising for exams
POST: So I talk with my girlfriend every day, multiple times a day, basically throughout the entire day. I meant to start talking less as I have very important exams coming up but I couldn't just ignore her so I kept talking with her as I had always done but this week I had to put my foot down, I am a normally straight A student but am now failing my subjects and my exams are very close.
So I told her we are going to have to talk less and that I will only talk to her in the evenings, she started crying. I comforted her but I can't help but feel it is an extreme reaction seen as we will still talk everyday.
So I got lots of work done the next day with no technology to distract me, about 8-9 hours of work. I turn my phone on to talk in the evening (around 10pm) and she is seriously mad at me, more so than I have ever seen before she said she hated me for not talking to her all day and was crying again. So I ended up comforting her as she was really upset, this took till 2AM the next day... Now I am sleep deprived for work, feel shitty and have lost valuable time. I care a lot about this girl but this is killing me. I think tonight I will not text her at all and go straight to bed, she will be angry but I don't have much choice if I want to pass. Is this the right thing to do?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend wants to talk all day, even up to about 2AM. Distracting me from revision, I'm going to fail at this rate. Should I cut contact for now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with a girl [24 F] I've been seeing for 3 weeks. We are totally into eachother, but she is afraid of labels.
POST: I've been seeing this girl for about 3 weeks now. We are totally into eachother, there is no doubt in my mind. We have really long dates where we are always talking and laughing, we text and talk on the phone alot, we have gotten physical, and we see each other like 2-3 times a week. She has told me that shes into me, and doesnt want to date anyone else.
When I asked her if she would be willing to make it official with me, she said that she is afraid of labels. I was really surprised by this statement, because of how well we have been getting along.
I asked her what makes her afraid of labels and she said she didnt know... but that she needs some time to figure it out...
Im not really sure where to go from here. We still have plans to see eachother more, but im not sure what we are, and neither is she.
So I was hoping that people here who have had similar situations could shed some light on this situation. What would make a girl afraid to put labels on a relationship?
TL;DR: | Guy and girl completely into eachother, dating a ton, but she is afraid of labels. Anyone know why she would be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (20m) best friend (17f) and I kissed last night. I need redditors input
POST: I've known her for 2 years. I was dating my ex when we met and I thought she was a chill, easy going girl. She liked me a bit but we eventually turned into really close friends.
I would go to her to talk about anything I needed to and she comes to me also. She knows the real me and we are both very comfortable and not scared to talk about anything. She accepts me for me and I accept her.
Lately I've been thinking about how people say your girlfriend or wife is your best friend. And I thought hmm it's weird her and I have never had any intimacy or anything. Just friends. I even once said I should find a girl like her because we are so open.
Well I told her how I've been thinking this and she said she has thought the same thing. We keep talking and both of us began thinking about " what if". Well I dropped her off and we both texted each other at the same time and started talking about what we are thinking. Eventually I went back to her house. Adrenaline pumping, heart racing and I was gonna kiss her to see how it felt so we didn't have to wonder what if. Well we started talking and we hugged and it felt good and right. We held each other for 10 minutes on the driveway and eventually decide to kiss. We both were smiling like crazy and we didn't want to stop.
When I left I started thinking about it and started to think if I made the right choice. I've thought about her every now and then while being friends and I did like her for a bit. I'm just scared of hurting her if it doesn't work out and scared of losing my best friend.
She is scared of getting hurt and losing me as a friend also.
So my question is , what would you guys do? Do you risk the friendship and see what happens? Do you leave it and never know? Does it sound like we should give it a shot? So many things running through my head. I'd love some unbiased input.
TL;DR: | best friend and I kissed. (20m)(17f). We both liked it. But are scared of losing the friendship if it doesn't work. And scared of hurting each other and getting hurt. What would you do reddit? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27M] with my casual gf/FWB[25F] of 6 months, thinking it's time to ask her to be in a full relationship or move on.
POST: When we first hooked up it was great, incredible sex, leave each alone the next few days, then do it again. Eventually we start to do more, going camping together, hiking scenic mountains, long road trips. So I started to want more, and clearly stated such. She said she wasn't ready for a relationship, and asked if I could give her some time to figure it out. I obliged cuz I'm dumb.
In April we "broke up" after a getting drunk at a concert, and into a fight afterwards. We had break up sex, and she told me to stay the night which was fucking weird. We talked it out a few days later, and she said she was just drunk and knew I was still looking to be her bf, but she was frustrated because she still wasn't ready for it and didn't want to bring me down.
Breaking up with her made me question if I wanted a relationship with her, so I was back to a casual situation. After we again started messing around together I made her promise to share any feelings she had for me openly, and I'd do the same.
At her 25th birthday party 3 weeks ago, she treated me like a bf, introducing me to her friends, kissing me in front of ppl, cuddling me, cooking food together, and I gave her the usual birthday treatment. Which was fucking horrible because all I could do was think about how awesome it'd be to be with her. So I'm back in that mode.
We haven't had sex since her birthday. And I've been away on business and haven't seen her much. I feel like I need to tell her I again want a relationship again now and ruin all the good things we have together, because I'm fairly certain she doesn't want the relationship and will turn me down. I just want to get this off my chest to the world, and here some advice.
TL;DR: | I'm thinking it's time to give a relationship ultimatum with the quasi gf, that she'll probably reject, thereby making me life less fun. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Want to get a career in technology back on track. Advice?
POST: For as long as I can remember, I have always been interested in computers. When I came to college, I was a Biomedical Engineering major hoping on focusing on computation and electrics. But I slacked off, failed most of my classes, and got kicked out of the engineering school.
Now I am a philosophy major with only some **very** basic C++ and web design skills I picked up along the way. Since I only have a year and a half left before I can graduate and I want to stay at my current university, I'm more or less stuck in my current major. I enjoy it, but I understand my career prospects with a philosophy degree are basically zero.
What can I do to get a career in programming back on track from here? Right now I am depressed that I am stuck working a retail job this summer once again while most of my friends are doing prestigious internships.
TL;DR: | Fucked up as an engineer. Now a philosophy major. How do I get a "real" career path started again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend (24/M) has invited me (24/f) to 'Night at the Races', but I don't want to go, because I'm against horse-racing
POST: My boyfriend and his friends are off to night of dinner and horse racing, and I've been invited along. Problem is, I'm very against horse racing, and so I really don't want to go because; a) by spending money there, even just purely on dinner, I'm supporting a place that supports horse racing, and b) because I wouldn't be betting anyways. My boyfriend seems ok with my reasoning, but I feel horrible leaving him as the only guy without a partner there. It shouldn't be a big deal, all of those attending are his friends that he's known for years, but I don't want them to think badly of me for declining the invitation (especially as I haven't met almost all of them yet). Anyone have any advice on how to approach this situation?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend invited me to horseracing event- an activity that I don't support. How do I not feel bad about turning down the invite? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, how do you stay motivated without becoming obsessed?
POST: So I seem to have this problem, where I'm either extremely motivated (to the point that I'm obsessed with something) or I'm not motivated at all. I'm currently experiencing this with a volunteer position I took on with a presidential campaign last Fall.
When I started I literally was in my local office upwards of 65 hours a week. I was given more and more responsibilities, and I eagerly accepted them; I'm now in charge of volunteer operations for an entire county (still an unpaid volunteer myself). From September until early February, I literally devoted 95% of my time to the campaign, to the point of neglecting my personal and academic life. In early February, I was informed that my boss was getting a promotion, and that she would be moving to another field office. During the transition phase things fell apart. I didn't get a paid promotion that had been promised to me for several months, it instead went to a political appointee (someone who knows someone important). When that happened, I literally lost all my motivation to work for the campaign. Since early February I've barely been in the office for more than 2 hours a week, my team of volunteers is slowly yet surely falling apart, and my motivation to go back dwindles away even more with each day that passes.
This seems to happen with any longterm project that I take on. Whether that be learning a long and complicated piece of music (I play the Cello), dieting/losing weight, etc. I can't seem to moderate my level of motivation and commitment. It's like I have an on/off switch; either I'm completely gung-ho or I don't want anything to do with the project in question. So Reddit, can you give me suggestions on how to stay motivated without becoming obsessed?
TL;DR: | I'm either completely committed to a project (to the point of obsession), or I want nothing to do with said project. How can stay motivated without getting obsessed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, my dad has been calling the past 2 days to take him in to an urgency care because he feels like he has something crawling inside his toes. Help?
POST: To give you an idea how I'm feeling, I'll explain my history with him. I've grown up with him on and off up to 15 years old. I'm now 20. Since he was in his 20's he's had a huge meth problem. After I turned 15, I decided to live with friends/family friends and now with my fiance and our son. Since then, I have tried to keep him in my life, but he hasn't really even wanted to much, and I personally don't want my son to be around his grandfather at all while he's using drugs.
Now, There has been a time where he called me, high off of his ass, and has told me that there was something crawling inside his body. I went to see him, and he wouldn't except any medical care. But this time, he wants it, and he doesn't sound like he usually does when he's high.
TL;DR: | My dad has been a meth addict for the whole 20 years of my life, and he won't get help for "Something crawling in his body" without my help. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Anyone have some ideas?
POST: I am a 19, almost 20 year old female. I'm not going to grow old, wishing I had done something memorable, maybe even inspiring. All I have is raw determination. I'm making this happen. Maybe, soon. Who knows how and when life is going to soon shift your way. A one-way ticket in hand, clothes, and a tent packed up. Basically, no money left over; but I have absolute, pure determination: I'm going to back-pack Europe. What are some ways I could make the money for this, giving I have limited money now for things, such as supplies for projects?
TL;DR: | I'm going to back-pack Europe with little money, but need ideas on how to achieve at least enough for the ticket and some extra cash. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [19/f] Thinking about getting back together with my previous boyfriend; bad idea?
POST: I broke up with him about 3 months ago after being with him for 2 years because things had been bad for a while (he was going to school 2 states away, we were having trouble with long distance) and then I met someone else. I've been dating the new guy for 3 months now and he recently told me he loves me, and I think I feel the same way, but I'm not entirely sure. And now my ex is back for summer break, and the feelings are still there. We've talked about getting back together, and it's what I want, but I'm worried about hurting my current boyfriend or the relationship not working out and losing both of them. I feel like a terrible person.
TL;DR: | I had a boyfriend for 2 years, broke up and met someone else, been dating new guy for 3 months, considering going back to my ex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] dating [18M] for about a month now, he's shy and inexperienced, and I don't know how to help us progress
POST: Hey /r/relationships
I'm an 18 year old female who has a decent amount of experience with sex and I have recently started dating an 18 year old guy who has none.
Neither of us has any experience with a proper, adult emotional & sexual relationship.
He's shyer than me and has social anxiety which contributes to that. I've made all the moves so far (asking him out, kissing him) but things are moving extremely slowly because I'm also emotionally shy.
My problem is basically is that I've never been with someone who is this physically inexperienced. I don't know how to go about this relationship in a way that I can show and teach him to become more emotionally and sexually confident.
I don't know how to make someone feel safe about the emotional sides of progressing sexually and being forward without feeling awkward and scared.
I know that I'm going to have to lead us in the beginning, but I don't know how to do it in a way that will allow us to achieve a balance later on: I don't want it to turn into something where I always initiate and he just goes with it. I want him to be open about his desires and worries, but I feel there is this awkwardness between us preventing us talking about it: I feel like we're just not comfortable enough with each other yet for me to be able to confront him about all of this. And even if I did, telling, I feel, will not have its full effect unless I show him too, and I'm just not sure how to go about it. I'm new to this too.
It might be a different story if he had gone through this with someone else before and that he is just shy, not inexperienced, but that's not the case.
So anyway, can you guys help me out a little or offer some advice?
Thanks for reading!
TL;DR: | I'd really rather that you read my post, but how do I progress in this relationship with someone who is completely inexperienced and shy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 20M approached me, 19F, and admitted feelings for me just a month after he got dumped by girlfriend 20F of four years. I got together with him but I'm afraid I'm just a rebound.
POST: Hello!
Recently (August), I was asked out by 20M. I started developing a crush on him around June but he unfortunately had a girlfriend (a girl who hangs out with the same group of friends I do), so nothing came of it. Then out of the blue, she breaks up with him. I try not to be too overjoyed but of course, I am. I still feel guilty about this. I made no moves until he approached me at the beginning of August. I admitted my feelings to him and he also admitted he had started developing feelings for me too after the break up.
So, a few weeks later (end of August) he asks me to be his girlfriend and I say yes! Right now we're really happy. We're both in university and live about an hour away from each other but he comes to visit a lot and I love it. I'm having a great time. The only issue is I still feel bad about his ex. I was becoming relatively good friends with her and she approached me after 20M and I got together, telling me she was devastated because she'd realised she still loved him. I was hurting, I knew there was a possibility he could go back to her, but he didn't. She told him too but he just said it's too damn late.
All of my friends are also commenting on the fact that I'm probably just a rebound. After being with his ex for four and a half years, it is a little weird that just a month later he admits feelings towards me, but that doesn't have to mean I'm a rebound does it?
I'm pretty confused because a part of me believes he'll only be with me if he really wants to be with me. There's a chance he just found me and preferred me over her. There's also a chance though that he needs someone to help him recover from a breakup, and that's just me. I'll only be here for a few months, perhaps.
TL;DR: | Got together with a guy who's my friend's ex and was with her for four years. People say I'm just a rebound. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Question about wetting the bed?
POST: Alright so I'm 18 and I had a really, really F'd up dream last night, and by that I mean just a mix of horror, weird you name it. Anyway, I got to a part of my dream where I just randomly starting peeing, and It felt to me like I hadn't used the bathroom in a year, pretty much a fire hose size stream, I soon woke up and immediately checked and I had indeed wet the bed but a very small amount. I've never wet the bed after like infancy before and I was just curious as to why in my dream I pee'd so much but in reality it wasn't a lot.
TL;DR: | Took a horse sized piss In dream woke up to find the actual amount of piss was hardly any, why? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [19 M] Should I be worried about my girlfriend cheating on me?
POST: I met the girl I'm currently dating last May and we instantly hit it off. I've never felt so connected to someone so quickly in my life. But when I initially met her she was currently in a relationship with someone who went to school about an hour away from where we go to school.
That didn't stop us though, we would always hang out and get intimate, she always felt guilty but I guess that didn't stop her. We decided that it was wrong so we put our relationship "on hold" and she dated this guy for a couple more months before they broke up and now we've been together for 2 months.
She described her relationship with her ex to me as very poor but who knows maybe she was just saying that to justify cheating? But my thoughts are if she can cheat on her boyfriend then she can cheat on me. Should I be worried about this? Is this something I should tell her?
TL;DR: | When I met my current girlfriend she was cheating on her boyfriend with me, should I be worried she'll do the same to me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm (21/F) in need of advice regarding relationship with boyfriend (22/M)
POST: So, here's the thing- my boyfriend and I have been dating for two years. But he wants me to change a few things about me:
- my weight- as in he wants me to lose weight.
- my self esteem- it's totally non existent, and has been for a long time
- the way I handle things- I stress out very easily. For example, I lost my flash drive today, and I panicked and cried a lot; especially since I major in graphic design, so there were a few large projects on that file.
It's to the point where he's very stressed about it, and I fear that he will be so sick of my shit that he'll break up with me.
Any advice about these topics and how to change them would be appreciated...
TL;DR: | need advice on losing weight, raising self esteem and reacting to things better because of boyfriend, and in need of any advice |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Not sure where to post, but I need help finding a GED testing location that isn't so costly
POST: Okay, I apologize if this isn't the right place, but I just thought I would ask here as reddit is quite knowledgeable. I've done quite a bit of googling and I just can't find anything. I've searched and searched, and that's why I've come here.
I live in Colorado, and the prices for all the GED tests in one go is $120-$150, and I just don't have that kind of money right now, nor am I going to take an individual test until they're all done. I'd rather get it all over with in one shot. I don't need GED prep or any online thing. I read somewhere that legislature was passed where food stamp recipients can get free GED or something along the lines, and I've still had no luck. I don't pass the requirements for any disability. I've read that some libraries, community colleges, and vocational schools have reduced prices, but I have no luck with that either. There was something for CollegeAmerica where they would pay for your GED test if you went through with the prep, but the accreditation is limited to their schools, and I don't want to shut the door on more possibilities.
Maybe I missed something. I would greatly appreciate any help or any tips.
TL;DR: | I need to find a place in Colorado where the GED test prices are either reduced or free, or another solution such as going through an accredited community college GED program where I can then transfer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (20m) and my gf (19f) of 4.5 yrs have been having issues. Tried everything we can think of but nothing is working out.
POST: So i have been with her for 4.5 years so far. For the first couple years everything were all fun and dandy we would go out and see movies, go out for dinner and so on and so forth. We did things that we both enjoyed most of the time and enjoyed each others company.
However since about 2 years ago when I joined the military things have been going downhill. We have been fighting a lot more and recently it seems to be about 1 in 2 conversations end up in an argument of some sort or we get mad at each other for slmething the other said. We always 'make up' but I feel like it gets a little bit worse every single time. When we spend time together we seem to get tired of each other after a few hours.
Those things we used to do rarely happen anymore as when we spend time together we tend to just sit around watch a TV show, maybe talk a bit, or have sex. We never seem to be able to agree on what to do, most of the time we can't even come up with anything to do.
Both of us recognize that there is a problem in our relationship but neither of us wants it to end at the same time. We have decided that In a few months if it doesn't get any better or if it gets worse we are going to end it.
The issue I'm having is that despite this I feel like we don't really connect anymore since we are both interested in such vastly different things.
I'm not sure if we should even bother waiting to see if it gets better or just end it. I don't want to give her a hope that things will work out and then just end it but I also don't want to break her heart.
I just need some advice on what to do here, as I can't figure out on my own what the right choice is.
TL;DR: | Gf and I have been arguing and fighting a lot more. We dont really do anything together anymore. We both recognize that there is a problem but neither of us wants to end it. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Help with somewhat confusing female friend? [17m]
POST: I have a female friend with whom I'm rather stricken. She's pretty, likes many of the things I do (music, videogames, etc.) and has a very similar (dirty) sense of humor. I asked her out once and she said no, but since then her texts have gotten increasingly sexual. As I type this we are in the middle of a conversation about pros and cons of cowgirl position (we are both virgins, so this is supposedly hypothetical), during which she randomly alerted me that if wants the guy in control when her v-card is taken.
As my confusion grew I finally asked her upfront if I would ever have a chance with her romantically, to which she replied "not anytime soon" because she, supposedly, doesn't want a relationship. Two weeks later she sent me a picture of herself in a bra in an attempt to prove that she has small breasts (not that I care, having a well-known preference for flat chests). She has also mused several times how she "wonders what sex is like" in the middle of a conversation about Skyrim cosplay.
So does this girl want a relationship and just wants me to make the first move, does she simply want sex without commitment (not something I'm overly opposed to, though I am more than ready for commitment myself), or is she just a perverted girl who doesn't realize how much hell her jests and jokes are playing with my emotions?
I, for the record, am an extremely emotional guy who has mood swings almost on par with many women during their 'time' that cause me to alternate between severe depression, severe anger, and being happy as a clam. I have a feeling I have inherited a "whiny-ness" from this that is giving her significant pause to the idea of a relationship.
She told me earlier today that she is "fine with guys touching her body" despite, to my knowledge, never having any clothes-off non-penetration experiences with a guy. It just boggles my mind that any girl would tell a guy these things if they didn't think he would need to know them later on.
Every female her age I've talked to about this has responded with "she wants the D" but I figured a few more opinions couldn't hurt.
TL;DR: | I'm a softie and a girl has been unusually forward with me about sex and I don't know how to interpret it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (24/M) am falling for my "sister-in-law" (24/F)
POST: I've been dating my girlfriend Michelle for 7 years now. I love her with all my heart. She really does mean the world to me, and I don't know what I'd do without her.
I'm torn. Michelle's brother, Jim, has a fiancé named Megan. All four of us have been close for so long. I've been talking with Megan for a little while now and feelings are starting to develop. Megan has been confiding in me certain issues with her engagement to Jim. It looks like she will be leaving Jim in the near future. My feelings for her are only going to get stronger. To make things worse, we are super compatible; there isn't much we don't share with each other.
She knows I'm attracted to her , I don't think I could ever act on these feelings but I feel the responsibility of being her outlet to rant is going to tempt me. I could ruin everything. Losing Megan and Jim as friends and family and more importantly Michelle as my girlfriend.
How do I handle this? Megan is intoxicating. Nothing has happened between us, yet I still feel enormous guilt while looking in Michelle's eyes. I'm breaking...help me please.
TL;DR: | My feelings for my sister-in-law are growing as I've become her go-to guy for ranting about her failing engagement. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, but the temptation is really overwhelming. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] GF broke up with me [22M] a week ago, she's not yet sure about what she wants. Don't know what to do.
POST: Last week tuesday my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me. For me, this came totally out of the blue because apparently she wasn't very happy with our relationship for the past 6 months. The reasons she gave me were that there wasn't a lot of love like there used to be and that there were several annoyances she just couldn't handle anymore. She also told me she had to choose for herself and get herself back on track.
In the past 6 months she hadn't really been verbal about these issues so I didn't know anything was wrong, or maybe I just failed to notice. We never really had a fight in the 2 years we were together so it definitely came as a surprise. It should be noted though that she has been working about 70 hours a week for the past few weeks and she is busy with school next to it with a lot of stress as a result.
We have talked since and she told me that if I give her space, we can start dating again and 'start over' when she is ready. I'm all for this, because I'm having a hard time letting her go but I don't know if this will result in more pain for me.
I should also note that she is coming to my small new year's eve party tonight and I'm not sure if this is a very good idea (we have seen eachother since).
TL;DR: | GF of 2 years broke up with me last week, wants to start over and do the dating thing again if I give her time. Is coming to my new year's eve party tonight. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23 M] have a crush on a popular girl [19 F], what can I do to bridge the gap between us?
POST: So there's this girl which caught my attention a year ago and since then we've been "friends" on facebook but never conversed with each other. She has a lot of followers and is pretty famous in my country, so I never really bothered that much.
Fast forward to today, I found out that she's looking for some company/chill talks (since I also found her on Tinder, we didn't match though) but I don't want to come off as a creepy guy. How can I approach her? We've only met twice in conventions, and I'm sure I'm a complete stranger to her.
I do not know how to transition from being a stranger to someone she'd hang out with, we don't have mutual friends as well. But I think I'd like to give it a try, to bridge the gap between us. What can I do to accomplish this?
TL;DR: | There's a popular girl I'm interested in, we're complete strangers. what can I do to bridge the gap (and eventually date her?) between us? |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: I think I'm having trouble feeling sympathy/empathy....
POST: This has kind of concerned me for a while, I even joked with my friends that I psychotic tendencies.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid but I am curious to hear other people's thoughts and views on it.
In the AskReddit there are a lot of requests for horror stories from certain professions. I've noticed the grisly ones are from those in the medical profession and the top ones stick in my mind because of what I don't feel. While I know these stories are bad... I don't feel upset. Perhaps it's because I haven't been in the same experience as the person.
But then there are other times IRL where I know something is bad but I don't feel bad. I have a big example, where I did something wrong and only felt bad for myself at the end, even though I knew all along it was wrong.
I've realised that I'm actually a selfish person. Is anyone else like this or am I mental?
TL;DR: | I know when I should feel bad, but I don't actually feel anything. That's not the same though is it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 M] broke up with my girlfriend [19 F] of 2.5 years 1 week ago, now doubting my decision.
POST: I broke up with my girlfriend a week ago now, and I'm not certain if I made the right decision. I wasn't totally sure that I was making the right decision when I did break up with her, but I didn't cry when I was doing it, I got sad when she left though.
I've had ups and downs since and I miss her and think about her quite a bit. I'm also really horny because I started doing /r/nofap a month ago and don't know if that's a factor. However, I have been flirting with another woman (20 F) quite a bit and she wants to stay single and have fun but at this time I don't know if anything is going to happen there.
For some reason I've been in serious relationships since I was 14 and I'm actually kind of terrified of being single. I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this and if I should consider reconciling with her and giving it another go.
TL;DR: | Broke up with GF a week ago, doubting my thoughts about it at the time, need advice on what I'm feeling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: OR- Can a Statutory Rape charge be dropped after the victim turns 18?
POST: I have a buddy who is dating a girl. This girl was accused and charged with Statutory Rape 3 and sodomy. Class C. (yeah....don't get me started on his choice of women) Apparently, it was "consensual" and they were friends, the mom found out about said rape, between his GF (who was 20 at the time) and the moms daughter (who was 14 at the time)
Anyways, I had concern about my daughter playing at his house if she was there, since she is a registered sex offender. I realize she wasn't a danger to my daughter, but still, a nosy neighbor sees my daughter playing at the house of a sex offender (who has an offense against a minor female) calls the authorities, and now I'm underninvestigation for endangering my child.
His GF (and her "victim") claim, that when she turns 18 (in 2 years) She's going to go down and drop the charges. Clearing his GF of all legal ties, stops probatoon and no longer has to report as a sex offender, because it won't be on her record.
This sounds rather fishy to me. And I'm thinking that's not entirely true. Am I wrong?
TL;DR: | What are the Oregon State (Yamhill County) laws, concerning a victim, turning 18, and dropping the charges of their offender? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my Girlfriend [27F] duration, broke up, but now we're getting along great, should I still move out?
POST: We met last July. We were a vacation-ship for two months. She got a job in Houston, I moved to Houston to try and make something work.
We got along horribly. Petty fights happened constantly, and we never fought before that. I was bored, unhappy, etc
Four months goes by and we're not happy, not getting along very well. I pretty much break up with her, she begs me to stay. I stay.
We have another fight, I go through her phone (I know, I know) and I find some inappropriate texting between her and her boss. I confront her, she tells me she was confused and that nothing physical happened (I believe her)
I told her I was moving out, she begged me to stay another week, I said ok. NOW, she's being SUPER nice and loving. We're not fighting at all, she's very passionate in bed, she cooks, there's no petty fighting. I tell her I'm still leaving because A) I don't trust her very much and B) If we could have been getting along this great the whole time, but we weren't, it was because she was holding back. Once I stay, she'll probably go back to normal and start being unbearable again.
TL;DR: | Been fighting for 4 months. We're getting along GREAT right now (about 7 days) since the moment I busted her for lying. Am I being stubborn? Or should I give it more time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31M] am dating someone [28F] who tells me that I talk to much about myself. When I stop and ask her questions, she has short responses and then there is silence.
POST: I [31M] started dating someone [28F] who tells me that I talk to much about myself. I do know that people consider me to be quite garrulous, so she's not wrong. She asks that I include her in the conversation.
When I stop and try to ask her questions so I can learn more about her, she replies with short responses, straight and to the point. Afterwards, I find myself desperately thinking of what else to ask her because I can't say any sentence with the words "I", "me", "my", etc. in it or she tells me I am doing it again. To give an example:
"What's your favorite food?"
***Response***
"I have a decent recipe for that. I would like to make it for you."
"You're talking about yourself again."
Thing is, earlier, she spent 90% of our conversation time talking about her, and that was ok. I kept my responses short and sweet and primarily about what she was talking about. Things were fine.
Later today, we talk and she's not saying hardly anything. I ask her a question and the conversation goes like this:
"If you could live anywhere in the US, where would you want to live?"
***Cue three to five minute long explanation about possibilities***
"I mostly agree. I have thought about these areas..."
(After 20 seconds) "You're talking too much about yourself and not including me in the conversation."
... despite the fact that I had just asked her and listened to her talk about it for five minutes.
I don't know what to do. I like this woman and I love listening to her talk about anything and everything, but when she isn't talking, she isn't giving me anything to work with and she refuses to let me talk about anything in length to give her a subject to weigh-in on. When I do, she typically has nothing to say about it.
TL;DR: | Date tells me I talk too much about myself. When I ask her something, she has a short response followed by silence. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] have a 22 [M] boyfriend for 4 years who has claimed he has never watched porn during our entire relationship. I don't believe it. Is this even possible?
POST: My boyfriend used to very much be into porn growing up, especially in his late teens. He would watch it allllll day. He was also not very "nice" to women and seemed to have a one-track mind if you know what I mean. But with me, he has always been very nice and respectful. We're good at solving problems and he values my opinion. We are two peas in a pod in terms of personality, ways of thinking, and interacting with each other.
So anyway, he claims to not watch porn, and I'm not sure if I believe it. It's not that he's ever given me a reason to think he's a real liar, of course there were a couple little white lies but that's honestly it. This, combined with his history, what the internet has told me, and the fact that we are also long-distance... I don't know. I'm thinking that in-between visits maybe he watches it. It's just shoved down my throat in the media, reddit, etc that guys watch porn and lie about it. Sometimes we like to talk to each other about when we have self-sexy time (which he does a lot, which is another thing) and what we thought about, and he always has something prepared to say. He says that he thinks about when we do it in person and always remembers detailed events. But that could just be him preparing in advance for when I ask... I don't know.
So why is this an issue? It's not really. Porn isn't an issue to me. But I'm worried for the fact that he might be lying to me or that I'm not providing enough for him. Every couple months I'll bring it up and tell him that I'm fine with porn and he can watch it if he wants to, I'd just like to know. Regardless, he always says he doesn't.
TL;DR: | I don't believe my boyfriend when he says he doesn't watch porn. I've read too many things to believe otherwise. I'm just concerned that he may be lying to me. What can I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I have a real life OA(ex)G. What do I do!?
POST: A little over a year ago I walked in on one of my (now ex) girl friend's coworkers balls deep in he on my bed. A few days after the break up she decided to tell me that she had been cheating on me for quite some time. Since then she has been harassing me trying to reunite our relationship. Mind you I am now married to the love of my life and we have a daughter on the way (yeah, I know... it was a little quick). I blocked my ex's number to get he to stop contacting me, hoping that she'd get the message, but this morning I woke up to a text from her.
TL;DR: | My ex is still trying to get back with me after I left her cheating ass and am now married with a kid on the way. What's the best way to get the point across to her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: It's been two years since I (25F) broke up with my ex (29M) and I can't move on.
POST: My issue isn't that I'm not finding anyone, because I've had good dates with nice people. I just can't seem to get over my ex and stop comparing everyone to him.
A little backstory: We met about 5 years ago and I moved in with him at around a year mark. We dated for two more years but I never was very sexually attracted to him. I was taking an antidepressant at the time and I know that affected my libido, but sex seemed like a chore. We broke up a few months after I tapered off the medication. That was the number one reason I broke up with him. I don't find him very physically attractive still, but I miss the connection we had. In all other facets of our relationship, we meshed perfectly. He is really an incredible person - so compassionate, spontaneous, funny, intelligent, unique.
One thing I'm kind of stuck on is how happy he is now with his new girlfriend (who is really lovely, physically and personality!) and it makes me remember how selfish I was with him. I wish I had tried harder to be a better girlfriend and it's kind of a stab in the gut to see them with our mutual friends and I just think they know how much better she is for him. It's this weird jealousy I've never felt.
Anyway, I'm just worried that I won't find anyone that measures up to his high standards and that I fucked it all up. Two years seems long enough to get over someone and I'm not sure why it's not happening.
TL;DR: | I broke up with my ex two years ago and I'm still not over him. Constantly comparing people I date to him and now I'm worried that I won't find anyone comparable and messed up the best thing I could have. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have major social anxiety problems and it really, really upsets my boyfriend as it makes him feel unwanted
POST: I'm not good with socialising, speaking my mind, or anything of the kind. I'd consider myself to be very meek, timid and definitely not an overtly flirtatious person. I'm not even flirtatious at all.
My boyfriend, admittedly has a low self esteem and he's very self conscious of himself, which is why he gets very, very upset at me when I don't compliment him on anything, or flatter him.
I mean, I do try to, it's just that it's so hard for me to just flirt or flatter because I'm not one to do so. We've fought a lot about it; it makes him feel unloved and unwanted and whenever I try to make a bold comment about him, to me, it seems so forced and it turns me off myself.
I do compliment him and make him feel loved; just moments where I lack showing that, he gets upset and picks up insignificant details, often getting angry at me.
I do not know how to address this issue. Should my boyfriend be more understanding and try to not get angry at me for not making him feel wanted, or should I try to change my personality and be more outspoken.
TL;DR: | my boyfriend thinks i'm not outspoken enough when it comes to making him feel wanted (but it's not in my nature to be this way) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M] with my gf [27 F] of one year. Her snapchat behavior confuses me
POST: I snooped in my gf's phone and found something that confuses me.
Three months ago I looked over my gf's shoulder while she was snapchatting and saw a new guy (A) on her friends list. I asked her about him, and she said it was a guy from uni, who added her. At that point no snaps had been exchanged. A is not in her class, but knows her from extracurricular activities some years ago. As far as I know they never dated.
Two weeks ago I snooped in my gf's phone. I looked at snapchat and found that she had sent a video snapchat to A. The snapchat date was on a sunday, and she had been drinking with her girlfriend saturday until late sunday morning, so I assume it was sent while she was drunk. She also sent me some snaps during her night out.
I asked her about the audio snapchat, and she said that she had no memory of sending it. She told me that she and A had exchanged a few snapchat, mostly book recommendations...
I looked at her phone two more times. The first time she had sent him one more regular snap on a tuesday, and the second time she had deleted him of her friends list.
Do I need to press harder on the "I don't remember" excuse?
I think she is lying about the content of their snaps, because I cant see the logical step from book recommendations to drunk video snaps... And why would she delete him from her friends list?
TL;DR: | Gf sent a video snap to a guy while she was drunk. She says she doesn't remember sending it. She then deleted the guy from her friends list. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[27F] wondering if guy I've been dating [30M] will change his mind
POST: We met in a bar (but through a dating website location-aware app, just so you know neither of us are really the kind to "pull" at a pub). He was clear from the start that he had just come out of a divorce and not looking for something serious. I enjoy casual sex and I'm very comfortable with "grey zone relationships" (anything between fuck buddy and boyfriend), he was damn cute, so went ahead.
A month and 4 dates later, things are pretty great. Sex gets better and better, we have plenty of mutual interests but at the same time into different things that are fun to show to each other. Dates are always interesting and fun.
He has brought it up again (shyly, don't think he has much dating experience) about it not being serious, which is still completely cool for me because I hate getting into "serious relationship" too fast, but I have started to wonder if I wouldn't like for things to head that way eventually...
I'm basing quite a bit of this on a past relationship with a guy, which was "grey" for a few months until he said "I grew on him" and he wanted to be "serious" with me. In that case, I actually *didn't* want to be serious with him (I was simultaneously dating another guy, who was more interested in me from the get-go, and was actually very hurt when I disclosed I wasn't being exclusive... hence the reason I'm trying to give the current guy my full attention, since I don't want to hurt anyone).
So yeah, wondering if...
- I'm fooling myself that I might grown on this guy
- Worried for signs in myself that I'm taking things more seriously than I should for a "grey" relantionship
TL;DR: | Guy said he's not looking for anything serious, is not a player at all, what are my chance that he will chance his mind? What signs should I look for in myself so I don't get hurt? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/18] don't know what to do about her [F/18].
POST: I'm 18, and I've been on and off with this girl, also 18, for... a long time. We dated after sophomore year for a few months, things didn't work out. After not talking for quite some time, we began hanging out with mutual friends an started dating again last May. Everything was great, we had a fantastic summer, but then we went to college.
We go to different schools in the same city, so I could still manage to see her once or twice a week for a couple hours at a time, but I felt like there was a distance growing between us, and that we had nothing to talk about anymore. I did what I thought was best and "ended it" in October.
Fast forward a few months, we've been talking again and end up hooking up over winter break. We started a friends with benefits sort of thing. That was fantastic for a while too, we've got great sexual chemistry and find each other really attractive. It actually ended up getting a little more relationship-y than I originally intended, but... I didn't mind. That lasted until just recently, when I broke it off again. I've been dealing with major depression over much of this time, and I just felt worthless and guilty and like she didn't need to be putting up with my bullshit anymore. She says, and I don't blame her, that this is actually it and that it isn't fair to either of us to keep changing what's going on all the time, and she put me in contact with someone to try to do something about my depression.
Reddit, I think I fucked up big time.
This girl is, to be honest, one of my very closest friends and right now I'm freaking out at the prospect of not being able to be close to her, to share time and experiences with her. I just don't know what to do, when we're together I feel like I'm doing the wrong thing, and when we're apart I miss her terribly and don't know what to do with myself. Can I salvage this situation? Should I be trying to? Should I be trying to get over her and move on? Any and all advice welcome.
TL;DR: | Was in on-and-off relationship, out of it right now, really want to make it work with her but don't know if it's gonna happen. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: What is he trying to tell me?
POST: I am a gay 15 year old. In my archetypes class, there's this boy, 'Jack', he's 16 but we're in the same grade. We didn't talk before this school year. He tarted talking to me and followed me on twitter. We would favorite each other's tweets and started talking in class. I recently missed 4 days of school and I messaged him on Facebook asking him what we did. He explained and then asked if I was feeling better. We started talking about homecoming and he asked if was going and I said no. He asked why and I told him it was because I didn't have a date. Then he asked me if I'm gay. I said yes and he said that he should still ask someone, even if they were gonna say no. He then said he had to go. When I returned to class, we were using the schools laptops and I didn't get one because I was late. He offered me his laptop! Earlier, he tweeted don't complain if you don't have a homecoming date and just ask someone. Also, he said he was going to homecoming with his friend because he didn't want to ask anyone, he told me this on Facebook. I tweeted "oh um well ok then" and he favorited it. He then tweeted "good, I'm glad" and I haven't been on since then. I also forgot mention that I catch him looking at me in class most days. Do you think he likes me? Oh and he's not out but I can kind of tell that he's gay. Please help because I don't know what this means anymore. Maybe I'm overreacting and crazy. Sorry for the wall of text and misspellings, not on computer right now.
TL;DR: | I think a boy likes me and I like him back but I can't tell if he does like me or not. |
SUBREDDIT: r/askwomenadvice
TITLE: When to call a girl that you're interested in dating and how to confirm/imply it's a date?
POST: I'm a guy (24) and I met a girl (24?) last spring at a weekly event. We have a handful of mutual friends and most of them are couples that we've both known for a long time.
We've been fb friends for a while and last week I messaged her regarding a mutual interest in writing/performing music. I had mentioned that we should try writing some music together and she agreed, so I said we should meet up for a drink/coffee and talk so I could learn more about what she likes and does musically etc. She said she'd be able to meet up this Sunday, and I got her number and told her I'd call her or text her to make plans.
My issue here is I haven't really said that I'm hoping for a date, but that is what I am interested in. I plan to call her tomorrow to confirm plans. I haven't texted her or anything since I talked to her last week, and that means she doesn't have my number yet, so the ball is in my court(?). I'm wondering, since a date was never implied (even though desired), when I call her tomorrow should I just stick to the whole "just seeing if you're still good to meet up Sunday, we should go here at this time" and don't worry about whether it's a date or not. Then hopefully it goes well and I can ask her out on an actual date at the end (also taking suggestions for best way to approach this)? Or should I try and imply that I'm interested in a date when I call her tomorrow?
Also, should I have waited this long (until tomorrow) to call her? I didn't want to be constantly texting her beforehand and risk having things get stale. I thought "I'll give her a call Friday evening when the weekend is just kicking off and most people are in a good mood". But I haven't spoken a word to her since last week so I wonder if she thinks that I'm not interested or if she has just forgotten... haha.
TL;DR: | A girl I'm interested in agreed to meet up but I'm not sure a date was implied. Also, I don't know the norms for calling/texting during the period between agreeing to meet and then actual meeting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: My wonderful dog needs better exercise. Any tips? Details inside.
POST: Dottie is a wonderful, intelligent, obedient and playful dog. She also may have OCD, her compulsion being licking. She licks the floor, the carpet, herself, the cat, my hands, the couch, and just about everything. Although her licking is **not** to the point that she will not come to me, or will not eat, or anything drastic that interferes with day-to-day life, I don't want it to get to that point. Additionally we have yet to find a good activity for her that will keep her and us happy and maybe a little less energetic (part Jack Russel Terrier) throughout the day.
We have tried going on walks and runs with her, but it doesn't work for either us humans, or her. It's physical but not mental activity, and during the winter months it's far too cold and wet in Alabama for any of that. We will occasionally use a laser pointer in our house, but as she may have OCD, it is safer not to use this as her main form of exercise, especially since she has shown a tendency to be focus too much on the little red dot even when it is hasn't been seen in an hour. Swimming is *probably* not an option. She doesn't really like water in anything bigger than a water bowl. Not even a bucket.
For those who need to know, Dottie is part Jack Russel Terrier and weighs 21 lbs (9.5 kgs). She stands about 16" (~41 cm) at the shoulder. She has herding instincts, and will actually try to herd our cat back in when he escapes to the back yard, and failing that, will follow him to show us where he is so we can come get him. She also keeps our yard free of squirrels and chipmunks (I found her chewing on a head once or twice) so she must have some prey instincts as well. Our backyard is a nice size, but she can get out even though it's completely surrounded by a chain-link fence. She's a good climber. We live in a cul-de-sac in a suburb of Birmingham, AL where there are a lot of people who don't properly contain their dogs so walking the neighborhood is not really an option either.
TL;DR: | Our energetic and intelligent dog needs a physically and mentally stimulating exercise that is not walking, running, swimming, or chasing a laser-pointer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by playing tag with a teacher in an exam room.
POST: Didn't actually happen today but...
It was exam week and most of my exams were in the hall with the rest of my year. When i do my (english) exams, i do them on the laptop. Now my school being unorganized didn't get my a laptop so i had to wait and wait until everyone in the year entered the hall and sat down. i'm not patient. So i decided to ask a teacher what the hell was going one, she was like "wait, go back to the back". Again, i'm not patient. It's been like 5 minutes and she was walking to towards the front. i thought she forgot about me cause she was acting like a bitch. i didnt want to call her name out because honestly i didn't know her name cause i hated her guts, so i followed her. Because i was holding my bad and my gigantic math gcse book, i was slow af. so she turned to the left. I turned to the left. she turned to the front. I turned to the front. This carried on like 3 time till i caught up to her. i could actually hear people trying not to laugh. so fucked up.
Not done yet.
she got this other teacher, yaass, and he got me to sit in the front. He didn't actually know what's going on so he gave me a random laptop. Finally. log in and everything ready to ace this test. the the laptop is shut in front of my face. Guess who. Mrs Pain in the fucking ass. god i hate that teacher.
long story short : ended up doing that walk of shame out of that hall and into a Ict lab.
TL;DR: | Had no idea what was going on, followed my teacher -who i hated- for at least a minute. People laughed cause it was like tag, then ended up using her laptop by accident. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Cross training questions
POST: Maybe this belongs in the "I'm an idiot Friday" thread or whatever it is called but I'm going to post it here anyway in the hopes that I can get some feedback.
Is there any type of consensus as to what the best type of cross training to do is when one is trying to avoid exacerbating impact related repetitive stress injuries? I'm referring to things like shin splints, runners knee (the IT band variety) tweaked calves etc. I've tried the elliptical, the AMT, biking etc, and to be honest I find that they don't translate especially well to improving or even holding ground in terms of endurance and pace while running.
This is a big year for me as I got a bib for Chicago which would be my first marathon. I have run a number of halves in the past and will be running the half here in Pittsburgh in 2 weeks. I need to figure out how to stay healthy though and not repeat last year when I ran a PB 10k in June but tweaked a quad doing so. Had I cross trained effectively it probably would have healed in plenty of time to run the Harrisburg marathon in October which I had planned to do. Instead though I made the mistake of continuing to train with increased distances while hurt,and long story short I spent most of the summer limping around unable to train and ran no other races that year.
What do you do to stay in shape or even improve while you are nursing a minor injury so that it does not become a major issue?
Any input is appreciated.
TL;DR: | I need to figure out how to continue to train when I have minor tweaks so they don't get worse and wreck my season. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I want my girlfriend to be smaller than me, how can I encourage her without coming across as mean or rejecting (we've never talked about it even once), maybe a 6 month hike up the Appalachian Trail is in order?
POST: *
TL;DR: | Want my GF to be smaller than me. Need a way to bring it up nicely as well as ideas for the effort. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I NEED help asap for my Brother's gift at my wedding.
POST: So I'm getting married in 3 weeks. My oldest brother is walking me down the aisle. My father (I like to think of him as a sperm donor only) has been out of my life for the last 15 years and my Brother has been like a father-ish figure.
I want to get him a really great gift and since he loves cigars I decided on a nice cutter and cigar travel tube things engraved with his name... Now the part I need help with... What do I engrave on the lighter. I want something that can even sort of thank him for all he has done for me but I only have 60 characters to do it in (including spaces and punctuation).
TL;DR: | Reddit I'm a stressed out bride in desperate need of a 60 character quote for my oldest brother's gift. Please help!!! |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Thinking about a potential career change to the games industry. Need Advice (x-post to r/gamedev)
POST: Six months ago graduated college and started a lucrative engineering job. The work hasn't turn out to be all that exciting or challenging (or really programming related). Recently, I got a offer to go to a software engineering co-op at a game studio parented by Activision-Blizzard. I recognize this as a foot in the door to the industry and I am considering making the career change (the hope and intent is that it'll pipeline into a fulltime position). It is however a 50% pay cut and of course I would have to factor in moving and early resignation costs; but I really wanted hear some about some other people's experiences in the video games industry.
* If things don't pan out is it hard to find other jobs in the same industry?
* Are all the "Don't work in the games industry. You'll work 14 hr days and 70 hr weeks" true?
* At the end of the day is it fulfilling?
Things of that nature. Thank you ahead of time for taking the time to help out.
TL;DR: | Deciding on whether to accept a position at a game studio. Would like to hear other redditor's experience in that industry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with a girl [24 F] I have been dating for about 2 months, are having trouble in the bedroom specifically on my end.
POST: I wasn't sure whether to post this in /r/relationships so if this is the wrong place I apologize and please point me in the right direction.
About 4 months ago I broke up with my long time GF (2.5 years) and I have slowly gotten close with another woman. I am really attracted to her but for some reason I lose an erection with her very easily. My arousal is still high just no erection, obviously this is extremely frustrating. I masturbate probably once every two days and have no trouble maintaining an erection during alone time.
Have any of you had similar experiences?
Is it the masturbation causing the problem or is it some mental boundary?
I get sexually frustrated and end up masturbating so it causes a vicious cycle. I have never had trouble with getting or maintaining an erection before this so I am feeling pretty worried about it.
This situation also makes it difficult to explain to her, it is obviously not her fault but I don't know how to explain to her what is wrong, especially because I don't understand why either. I need help.
TL;DR: | I have trouble maintaining an erection even when aroused, I have never had this problem before and it is not a problem if I masturbate. How do I explain this to her and how do I resolve this issue? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [21M] of 1.5 years, lying about texting another girl.
POST: Hey everyone. My boyfriend and I are currently doing long distance, and last night he went out with some of his buddies, and one of these buddies grew up in the same town as my boyfriend, we'll call this guy "Greg". Just to clarify, I have no issues with my boyfriend texting other girls normally, but everything that happened today is very weird and makes me feel super uneasy.
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, "Brad", I got a Facebook message from some guy, "Taylor", saying "your boyfriend has been playing around on you" and he sent me a screen cap of a phone conversation that said:
Unkown #: Hi cutie
Taylor: Who is this?
Unkown #: It's Brad
Taylor: Brad who?
Unkown #: Brad [insert my boyfriend's last name]
Since I was on the phone with my boyfriend I read everything out to him and asked him what was going on. He said that since it wasn't his number it wasn't him who sent the text. My boyfriend has a very odd name though, so I thought this was strange since it had my same area code. I texted the cell number that said their name was Brad, and it turns out the number belongs to Greg.
Brad finally admitted to me that he and Greg were talking about a girl from their home town (who is very attractive by the way), and she also has the name "Taylor", and I guess that's who they were trying to text.
First Greg was saying that Brad was screwing around on his phone for a while, and now he is saying that Brad was never on his phone, and that it was him who texted Taylor.
Can you guys let me know if I am being psycho, I feel pretty crazy right now. I am more mad at the fact that Brad has been lying to me than that he possibly texted a girl saying "hey cutie". I'm also mad that Brad and Greg think I'm dumb enough to buy all the bullshit they've been saying today.
What do I do from here?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend accidentally texted the wrong number when attempting to text another girl. A bunch of other bullshit ensued. I'm pissed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: To play the waiting game or jump into the fray with her?
POST: I became friends with a really awesome and cute girl in my sophomore year of high school. We used to text a bit here and there and we became kind of close in school. I'd walk her to class, and we'd lock arms, hold hands, etc. School year ends. We end.
Now, after graduating high school (18 and male) I want to give things with her (18 and female) another shot so I texted her the other day and we talked for a bit, we've barely had any conversations since sophomore year ended, so this seems a bit odd now to have to work into things again. I know we both like hookah, so I figured I'd ask her to do that with me sometime, but I don't know how long I should wait before asking her to hang out. It's not that I'm afraid to ask, it's just I'm afraid now might be too soon and she'll make up some excuse that she's really busy or something. I do get a lot of smiley faces from her in texts if that helps. No winking faces though. :/
TL;DR: | Haven't spoken to girl in a while, want to meet up with her soon, don't know how long I should keep it to texting before I ask her to hang out, or how I should ask. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25F) used to do some really shitty things while drunk. I really hate myself for it, and don't really know how to move on.
POST: I'll try not to make this too long! Thank you for reading.
I (25F) have always been a very anxious and insecure person. I've been in therapy for it, and can happy say I'm currently at the best place I've ever been. I've been with my boyfriend (25M) two years and we're extremely happy. No cheating, no issues. I haven't been getting as anxious as I would in past relationships and I've really worked on myself.
However, when I was in college (18-22) i would drink a lot and do some really questionable things. I had a good amount of one night stands which in itself is fine, but I would also do things like hook up with my friend's ex in another friends bed, and even went as far as cheated on SOs on a couple occasions. I regret all of this immensely now. I feel like a horrible person for it. I've done a lot of self reflecting and tried to think of what made me act that way. I really don't handle alcohol well, but that's not an excuse. I constantly needed attention from guys as a way to feel good about myself, and would take that way too far.
Now that I've "moved on" from that stage of my life (i don't really drink anymore, also for that reason), it's really hard for me to look back, and to think about how my close friends must view me. My BF doesn't really know any of this, he knows I've cheated before and worked on myself, but no details. I guess my question is, how do I stop feeling like a horrible person, and like my close friends must think I'm a horrible person?
TL;DR: | I did really shitty things in college and can't stop thinking about what a horrible person I was. I have a hard time moving on from that, even after years of being in a happy, healthy relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [PA, US] Apartment Complex opening personal mail and cashing check.
POST: I live in an apartment complex for college students near my university's campus. Recently my rent was coming up and I had only just started my job so my parents were helping me with money for the rent. My father sent me a check for $200.
I frequently checked the mail for the check but it never came. Day came to pay rent and I was without $200. Called my family who got upset because of their inability to give out anymore money. Nevertheless they told me to go online and pay with a credit card and we would figure out how to recuperate. I created an online account for my apartment complex only to discover the rent due was $200 less than what I normally owe. I called the office to inquire as to why I had a lower charge. They told me they had cashed a check written by my father.
I asked if they had the address on the letter they received and the name on the check. They could give me neither. Called my father, said he wrote my name on the letter and the check. A day passes and the folks at the apartment office call me saying the check didn't go through and they're refunding me the money, and I can then use that to pay the rent without any late fees.
I asked them how the check got into their possession. They told me that my apartment number wasn't written on the letter so it went to their office mail basket, however my name was written on it. They also told me the check was written out to me and not anyone in the office or the complex. What they do is open any mail in their basket and throw any checks into a pile. Told my father this, he checked his bank account and told me the check was cashed and the $200 isn't there.
This issue is part of a list of my dissatisfaction with the staff at this apartment complex. Though this is the first one that has involved them breaking the law. I would appreciate advice on what I should do from here as I don't want the person responsible for handling my mail and money getting away with it.
TL;DR: | Apartment complex opened mail with my name on it, cashed check written out to me. Didn't tell me about it until I asked them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not talking
POST: Unlike most TIFUs this actually happened today. Not an hour ago from when I wrote this. This is my first time posting so.. mistakes will be made.
Set the stage: one girl who is academically successful and has some sort of school club to attend. Enter slacker boyfriend who has yet to get his license.
So, earlier today my girlfriend says "so am I giving you a ride today? It seems like every Monday you need one." I kindly accept to that, I may slack but I'm still a gentleman. She gives me a ride, which I am busy thinking about other things (such as how my friend thinks a student teacher is hot and I think he's dumb, and a possible life guard job in the summer) so I'm not really sharing a conversation with her.
We get to my house and I think she will need to get to the club as soon as possible so I skip the macking session that was in store for me, for what I thought was her well-beinig. Turns out she thinks I'm upset due to the lack of talking and lack of making out with her, I tell her I'm not and she does not believe me (I've lied before, sue me). I still want her to get there on time and I live in the country so she should leave relatively about right at that moment, but she ensues with asking why I'm upset, I say I'm not and it goes back to the roots of trust issues.
She drove away and appeared to be upset. Sorry for length.
TL;DR: | Didn't talk to girlfriend, she thought I was upset, not upset, I've lied about being "fine" before. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Looking for a personal finance program
POST: I have never been one to have a budget, but I finally got a handle on spending less than I earn last year. Not much in the bank after last year but definitely made progress.
Anyways, the girlfriend and I are working on a budget but I want to find a program that can sync between my iPhone, Mac, and her windows 8 laptop (ideally, her computer isn't necessary) that will help us visualize our spending. We both spend too much on lunches and luxuries and I want to curb that.
I have played around with mint and didn't like it too much. I don't like that it's web based and found it kind of useless. After a few days of working on my account on it, I didn't feel like I was anywhere close to getting it to work the way I had hoped.
I've seen Moneywiz and YNAB and they both look good, Moneywiz is less expensive. BTW, I am in Canada so something that works with Canadian banks would be prefered for importing data.
TL;DR: | I want to use a program that can help me manage money and visualize spending. What do you guys use and what would you recommend? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my friend "have fun tonight"
POST: (Friends story, not mine)
My friend got into a relationship about a week ago. He was really excited because he hadn't had one in months and all he talked about was this girl. Well, him and I don't talk often so I set a reminder last week to tell him something along the lines of "have a good date tonight, man!" or something close to it. Well, a week passes and I don't really talk to that friend all that week, but the alarm reminded me. I messaged him and said "have fun tonight," but I wasn't greeted with what I thought I'd get. Apparently they broke up earlier that day and he'd gone through the whole day trying not to cry about it. I was the breaking point though. He told me it fell through and he didn't blame me for anything, but I still feel like the biggest asshole in the world.
TL;DR: | Set reminder to tell my friend to have a nice date in a week, told friend to enjoy his date (thanks to my alarm), but he had been dumped that morning. I'm an ass. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: 20 year old female wondering if this is a drinking problem and should I see someone?
POST: I started drinking at 18 after a sheltered high school experience. From my first time drinking to my latest , I always get to the point where I am very drunk and usually vomitting. I drink a lot very quickly and usually hard liquor. I get quit a bit of memory loss, am easily convinced and biddable when drunk and just completely obliterated at most times when I'm drinking.
Last week I was at a party and was rescued by my brother after I locked myself in the bathroom. We're fraternal twins and very close. My friends have done so much rescuing that most are tired of it by now, so I'm glad he was available. It was a revelation to me that things aren't ok when I drink.
I drink to get away. I'm a pretty anxious, insecure person and when I'm drunk I feel beautiful, smart, funny, etc. So when I start drinking, I'm always aiming for getting drunk so that I can get to those feelings. I essentially drink to get away from myself. If I can't get drunk (I work at a daycare, so I'm very careful with not being hungover at work) then I just don't bother drinking. I only do it to get drunk and I never am just tipsy, etc. I've not yet blacked out but I've come close and I've had a lot of memory loss.
So is this bad enough to consider AA? I've always thought everyone drinks like this, but I'm seeing now that the way I drink happens once in awhile to others when they overdo it, not ALWAYS like me. I have some history of alcoholism in the family and my brother has quit drinking once and for all since he hates who he becomes when drunk. So Redditors, many of you have experiences and knowledge that I think could help me. What should I do? Is this a problem?
TL;DR: | 20 year old who drinks not that frequently but when I do it's to the point of vomiting and memory loss. Should I seek help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is my mom [47F] being too strict with me [16F]?
POST: So, I know this may sound silly, but I'm 16 and my mom won't let me go to the beach, springs, etc. with my boyfriend [18] of a year and a half unsupervised. Hear me out, though.
I understand that this can be a concern for parents of a 16 y/o (especially who's dating someone 2 years older than them), but I'm in college. I graduated HS 2 years early (had all my credits). Now, as I said this may be a concern to most parents of a 16 y/o for various reasons such as drinking, smoking, having sex, etc. But my mom knows that I do not drink or some and she is however aware that me and my boyfriend have sex - this is legal where I live - and knows that I use contraceptives.
Is she worrying too much? I've always hung out with older friends due to being ahead in school, so I've always been treated as older by my parents but my mom just really seems to have a problem with this. Maybe it's because these places tend to be further than a movie theater, restaurant, etc.?
TL;DR: | 16 and in college, mom won't let me go certain places unsupervised with my 18y/o boyfriend of a year and a half. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Girl I've known for a year (21f) wants me to help her decide what to do with her life and us. What on Earth do I say? (21m)
POST: I met someone on a trip overseas. We have known each other for a year and talk online. She has a boyfriend, but I can tell that she finds me quite a bit more interesting. She has explicitly stated that she finds me more attractive, interesting, and I am decisive unlike her other prior & current boyfriend. Issue is, we both just can't do long distance.
She is moving away to start school again in 4 months and thinks things will likely end with her current boyfriend, they both know this and he told her that he doesn't care... but that she has to make a decision now.
I have the opportunity to move and work and live near her at school. She says she wants that very much, but she seems confused with what to do with her boyfriend (feeling like it will be her fault if they break up). Now she doesn't know what to do. She wants me to help her decide and I don't know what to tell her.
TL;DR: | Close friend stuck with a boyfriend who she will likely break up with. She likes me and wants me to move closer. Also wants me to help her decide what to do and I don't know what to say. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I'm a male and I have a girl question, girls.
POST: Hi,
The other night my friend 'introduced' me to a girl friend of his. He thought that I'd really like her, she's a film major, she likes weed, and shes smokin hot.
However, 'introduced' means showing me a picture of her, telling me I'd like her, and calling her from my phone, so she really has no clue who I am.
So I really wanted to meet this girl, even if that just meant a text conversation. She had my number so the next day I text her, "hi" with no reply. about 10 hours later, I thought it would be funny to send her [this] with no reply
I realize that was a big chance because she may not get it (I'm sure she didn't), plus she didn't reply to my first text and I followed up my first neglected text so
soon. I also feel weird that she has no idea who I am, but I also take comfort in the anonymity.
So tell me, is this a dead end? Am I just some weirdo with this cute girls' phone number? If a guy you didn't know was texting you like this would you ignore it and pass him off as a creep? Or take a chance?
Or do I actually have a chance to come back and actually get to know her. I feel like we'd sync up pretty well. I just don't know how to get started, or if it's too late.
thanks
TL;DR: | I text a girl (friend of a friend) that I only saw a picture of, with no reply. Can I somehow start a conversation? Or is it hopeless? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Not sure if I moved on too quickly to another girl...
POST: M18 dating F18: I dated a girl for about nine months, and for a while, things were great. But after the honeymoon period was over, I began to notice that we were different people. I'm expressive, touchy-feely and extroverted, while she's the opposite. I also wanted to spend a lot more time with her than she wanted or was able to spend with me. So after probably two months of on and off fighting and me being upset, we broke up.
The week after we broke up, I was hanging out with a girl who I've been best friends with for over two years. We're incredibly similar and have always been very close. We've also liked each other on and off throughout high school, but we've never gotten the timing right (she dated somebody for a year and a half). Anyways, we started snuggling, a few days later we made out, and now we're in a relationship a little after two weeks after my ex and I broke up.
My ex has told her one of our mutual friends that she thinks I'm an asshole, and the mutual friend agrees that I jumped in way too quickly. The thing is, it's my senior year of high school, my new girlfriend and I are going to the same college, and we've had feelings on and off for two years. When people found out we were dating, the reaction was almost always "Well it's about time!" That being said, did I move on too quickly? I feel bad about hurting my ex, and a big part of me still misses her, but I would never get back together with her and I know that we're not right for each other. I also didn't want to wait and miss out on a girl that I really do like a lot.
TL;DR: | Was in a 9 month relationship, broke up after being unhappy for months, and now in a relationship with my best friend of two years two weeks later. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 M] have a girlfriend [23 F] of one year whose mood changes very frequently. Is that normal? This is my first serious relationship.
POST: I realize it's normal for peoples' moods to change and females' often do so more than males. But I'm wondering if this is more fluctuation than normal.
Some days she is very happy and smiley and continually tells me how much she loves me. But sometimes the very next day she'll act uninterested and like she's doing me a favor to talk to me. Nothing at work changes, she's not on her period. It's just like BAM mood change. Is this a typical part of being with someone day to day? Or should I be concerned?
TL;DR: | Her temperament and attitude toward me go up and down day to day and I'm wondering what a "normal" amount of mood fluctuation is. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [38M], married for 14y with my wife [38F], started an affair with a girl [21F], possibly moving to mistress status
POST: I have been having an affair for 3 weeks with this girl [21F] who is a single mom and just left an abusive relationship. She's much younger than me and very attractive. She knows I'm married and is ok with that. Says she doesn't want to be a homewrecker. She likes the companionship I'm giving her. I like her a lot but as a friend and not a lover. I reserve that for my wife. She is respectful of this.
I'm coming home to my wife a lot happier and our marriage is much happier since I found my mistress. Wondering if this is really a bad thing or not.
I'm afraid of the obvious risks and wonder if its even possible to be friends long term even if the SO doesn't find out about us.
TL;DR: | Wondering if having an attractive 21y old mistress is a bad thing or a good thing and can we be real friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [20M] girlfriend [19F] is roommates with a guy [22M] she had a crush on when they were younger. Am I wrong to be jealous/upset?
POST: My girlfriend "Chelsea" and I are students at a small college.
She was planning on living in an off-campus apartment with some friends, but things fell through. Her brother "Josh" goes to the state school in our area, and said that Chelsea could move into his 4-bedroom apartment where he lives with his best friend "Eric" and a few others.
Technically it's Josh in Bedroom #1, Grad student friend in Bedroom #2, Eric in Bedroom #3, Chelsea in Bedroom #4.
In practice, both Josh and the grad student have live-in girlfriends, leaving Eric and Chelsea as the only two single people in the apartment.
Chelsea is fine with this arrangement, she gets along with her brother and loves spending time with his girlfriend.
Chelsea has known Eric since they were in middle school. She told me before I met Eric the first time that she had had a crush on him when she was 13/14/15 or so, just in case someone brought it up. Josh did bring it up at one point, and from what he said and what she's mentioned, it's clear that she fell *hard.* It's also clear that Eric didn't reciprocate it at the time.
She swears up and down that she's over it. However, they're still very comfortable friends and she has a very high opinion of him. To be honest, so do I. He seems like a great guy.
I've spent time with them and even though there's no indication of anything secretly romantic between them, it still makes me feel jealous and petty.
Since she's moved in with these people, I feel like she's started spending a lot more time with them and they've become a big part of her social life. And I feel cut out, since I'm the only one that doesn't actually live there.
Am I wrong to feel jealous?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend lives with her brother's best friend, who she openly admits to having a crush on when she was younger. Am I wrong to feel jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (33m) talking with my ex (F32) for the first time in 10 months...
POST: I've posted quite a few things about this whole situation, but here is the last post I made about it:
So, last night she (32f) called me and asked me to come over to her house (which was our house when we were together). I jumped at the chance because it meant that I could talk with her and spend time with our son. Seeing and playing with my son was awesome and I was there long enough to put him to bed. However, talking with my ex about everything that has gone on for the past few months has me a little unsettled.
First was having to hear about her being with someone else. I know I had dated someone else and slept with them, but hearing her say that she had been with someone in the same bedroom that we shared has made me feel lower than dirt. I'm sure I deserve some of it because when I first left she wanted to work things out, but my stubborness and pride got in the way.
Of course, we ended up talking about all of the things I did to her during our time apart. My emotions got the best of me and I ended up cursing alot at her and posting stuff reddit. I even tried selling her ring online. Looking back on it all, I am a big asshole and if we don't ever get back together then I understand why.
After we talked, I went home and posted to Facebook an apology to her so that everyone could see how sorry I was. I couldn't sleep much thinking about how much I hurt her and the girl I just broke up with, plus thinking that I'm going to do all this and still not get with the person I want to be with. The hardest thing is to be around her and not be able to touch her.
I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just needing to vent my feelings, but any advice is welcomed.
TL;DR: | Started talking to my ex again. While is it nice, I'm seeing how much of a jerk I had been and I'm thinking I'm going to be doing this for nothing if she never wants another relationship with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 19 Male - Getting away from texting
POST: Good evening [/r/dating_advice](/r/dating_advice)
I'm an 19 year old male with no dating experience and I'm looking for advice on how to move away from texting.
**backstory:** About 3 years ago I met a girl at school(she is a year young than me) and got her number. We started texting, I was too shy back then to actually go up to her and talk with her. This lasted through the summer and eventually she got a boyfriend, we kept on texting a couple of months until she "dumped" me cause her BF didn't like it. I was miserable for a couple of months but got over her.
Flash forward to September 2011. She and her BF broke up. I noticed she was posting some sad statuses on Facebook but I didn't text her just yet. I did send one 2 months later asking her if everything was all right and if she still knew who I was. I was surprised to see that she did and ever since we started texting each other every day until 1-2AM.
But now I really want to start meeting with this girl and I have no idea on how to ask and where to go. And seeing that I only have about 1-2 days during the week that I am home (I go to college on the other side of the country) really doesn't help.
Would appreciate it if you guys could give me some tips/help.
TL;DR: | Wanna meet up with a girl I've only spoken with through texts and don't know how to ask/where to go |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my coworker [49 M] of three years, is walking the line of sexual harassment with other employees
POST: I'm a manager at construction company with about 40 people. One of my salesman has been with the company since 1990 and he's responsible for a large majority of the company's sales. While I know that everyone is technically replaceable, he and another one of the salesman are the two hardest people to replace. To make a long story short, I can't afford to lose him because he has helped make the business very successful.
Over the past 25 years he has engaged in consensual sex with a slew of women who have come and gone in the company. This past year he struck up an affair with another coworker and it was brought to my attention. I told him that he can do whatever he wants but not while she's punched in because its not my place to be his moral compass.
However, it has been brought to my attention by a few of the younger girls that "Tony" was being inappropriate with them. During the Christmas party he was talking to a few of the girls and told them that they should kiss. Another girl came to me and told her that "Tony" made a remark about her breasts and he said "that's why you are having back problems."
I realize that this behavior is clearly inappropriate for the workplace but part of me wants to chalk it up to "It's just Tony" to avoid any confrontation but the other half of me wants to confront him but I know that won't do anything. I feel like "Tony" is grandfathered in the company so nothing I will do will result in any disciplinary action.
TL;DR: | coworker is bordering sexual harrasment with other employees. Don't know if I should let it go on or confront him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Yelled at for the first time, something else going on?
POST: Hi, this is my first /r/relationships post. I've been in a relationship for almost a year with my boy (I'm 21 and female, he's also 21). We've had a pretty good relationship, aside from issues last semester (we're in college) when he got too busy from me. But lately we've been on the right track. He's never yelled at me before. We've had discussions before about important things where one or both of us was upset, but no yelling.
This past weekend we were at a party, and something appeared to be bugging him. I asked him about it and he ended up shouting at me to stop (talking about) it. He says it was just because he doesn't like talking about personal things in public, which is legitimate... except I didn't really feel like it warranted yelling. Again, this is out of character, but he says nothing else is wrong.
What would make someone act like this? He apologized, but since then I don't think has made much of an effort to see me. It's something we should probably talk about, but if it's nothing maybe I should just let it rest. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend yelled at me for the first time in a year long relationship. Wondering if there are things going on below the surface. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Implied accusation of theft ... I haven't taken anything, not sure how to proceed
POST: Live alone in a rental owned by family, heard rumors that some family heirlooms were stashed in the house -- I've never bothered to look because I am NOT interested in these things.
A family member stopped by with a list of items (with serial #) that have gone missing, and asked me to help look for them (never had this happen before). Other relatives that frequent this house have all denied taking or moving these items. I haven't had more than a couple people over ever for more than an hour, ever, and I certainly am not telling them about any 'secret stashes'.
During the last visit, the person searching for these things appeared extremely agitated, but at no point accused me directly. The closest it came was to let me know that if these items were sold anywhere, that the police would be involved because these items have the serials on them.
I do have some pretty serious debt (to include some b/c of gambling), but I would never consider stealing from anyone, let alone family. I think that because family is aware of my debt problems, that I probably seem to be the most likely suspect.
Up to this point, I've had a fairly poor relationship with this part of my family. I've already written a letter stating that I'm not a thief. I'll be moving away in about a month, thinking of cutting ties altogether given the weight of history plus this latest accusation. Is this an overreaction? Is there anything that I need to do to protect myself legally?
Thanks for your input.
TL;DR: | live alone in family owned rental where hidden heirlooms have suddenly gone missing ... accusation (though not expressly stated) now rests upon me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I find my life very boring at the moment, what can I do?
POST: As much as I love playing games and browsing the web, the digital world is kind of in some downtime right now for me with nothing good going on for a while. I need to find something new to occupy the time I have to myself, I'm getting too bored and end up just going to one of my friends and never spending any time at home. My favorite two hobbies Magic: The Gathering & Dungeons & Dragons can only be done with friends around so..uhg.
I'm not really skilled at anything or have some kind of talent either so that doesn't help.
Some details that might needs to be known is that I'm 18 years old graduating from high school in 2 weeks. I work part time at the moment, usually right after school until around 10pm. I usually have 2 or 3 days off a week (2 on weekdays and 1 on the weekend) at the moment which I usually spend at least one spending a whole day with my girlfriend who lives a couple towns away. I'll be switching to full time upon graduating. I live in a country-ish kind of middle of nowhere town between Canton and Cleveland, Ohio.
All in all I guess what the
TL;DR: | of my question is What are some interesting hobbies or activity's to try out in my boring spare time. Things your into or have tried, and what you liked about them. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19F] college girlfriend has another guy staying at her dorm for the week. I [22M] have been with her for 3 years, but she's flirted with this guy before, yet is getting mad at me for being angry/jealous.
POST: A little more info on this guy who is staying the week, he's someone who I've known she's been friends with for a while. You see she was still in high school for a couple of years while I attended college. She always talked about this guy. Which is cool, I'm not the kind of guy who limits a girl to only girlfriends.
However, during one of my visits on the weekend, I saw that when he had texted her, he was flirting with her in a sexual way, and has been for a while. What's worse is that she went along with it. When I confronted her about it, she just said that "I wasn't there for her." I visited as often as I could (I was in the band and am majoring in physics, so time wasn't always available), so I sort of Forgave her, and let it go.
Anyways now she attends the same college as I do. It's been ok, but she's been wanting to invite the guy who she was flirting with before to stay the week at her dorm. Every time I've told her I'm not comfortable with it, she makes me seem like the bad person, saying that it isn't like that, they wouldn't ever do anything and it's wrong for me to think like they would. She even told me to think about it like this: "think of him as a girl, but with a dick!"
So I, always trying to please her, finally just let it happen. It's been a day, and I can hardly sleep knowing he's there. He's apparently sleeping on the couch outside her bedroom, but it still makes me dreadfully uncomfortable. Am I being too jealous? Or is she in the wrong?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend is having another guy sleepover at her dorm (whom she has flirted a lot with previously) and making me feel like I'm the bad person, or that I shoudn't think anything is wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Advice] on how to handle insecurities while in a relationship.
POST: I (26F) recently submitted a post stating that I thought I was going to sabotage my relationship because I was projecting feelings onto my partner (29m). It didn't get much attention but there was one comment suggesting insecurities.
Here's the link to my original post:
It elaborates more on the issues I'm having. I honestly don't know how to describe it. I don't think clearly about things. Instead, I worry about things that I know don't make sense.
I've realized that insecurity is 100% my problem. I have been actively searching for new ways to get through this and put it behind me. I'm getting better everyday, but there are times where I struggle.
I came here because I want to hear other people's experiences either being in a relationship with someone with insecurity or someone who struggles with it as well.
Are there certain things I can do to make my partner more comfortable with what I'm going through? (We've talked about it but I know he's worried and doesn't understand why I feel the way I do sometimes.)
How did your partner's insecurities affect you and your relationship?
Are there things your partner could have done to help you understand the situation better?
Are there things you or a partner tried that worked?
I don't really have one specific question. I just want to get all the information I can so I can tackle this head on and get on with my life. I want to make sure that my partner is as comfortable as he can be in this uncomfortable situation, too.
TL;DR: | Dealing with insecurity issues. Looking for experiences and advice on how to deal with it while in a relationship so I'm well prepared to face these issues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [23/m] need advice on how to help her [23/f] improve the things she does for me
POST: Background: We're together for 3 years, have been FWBs for a year before our relationship started, live together for 2 years
I'm having a problem with telling her that things she does for me are sometimes "bad". I guess its best shown in examples: So she is a natural person, she basically never uses makeup, which I'm totally fine with. Once I told her that maybe she could try it, because I like experimenting. Now I guess she was bad at it, which is kinda obvious since she has no experience. But I wasn't able to tell her that it was not so great and how I would like it better, because I know that she stepped out of her comfort zone doing that and she did that for me. If I tell her that it was not so good, even if I am doing it ultra careful and sweet, I feel like a rude, ungrateful asshole and fear that she will never step our of her comfort zone again.
Now thats just one example, but as I said, since I like experimenting theres lots of those situations, they're tiny, but they add up.
Am I overreacting because of how much "Told my SO that xyz and she didnt react very well" threads I've seen? Do you have any advice on how to deal with such things?
TL;DR: | when she does sth for me but isn't good at it, I can't tell her that because I fear she'll be mad |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, What Security Measures Would You Add?
POST: I live off the grid with six horses down the hill from our house. I am at the barn at least once a day to; at least feed them, refill their waters, and make sure they are all up and walking. They are behind a five foot wooden AND wire fence.
I do find shotgun shells and pocket knives on occasion at the outside edges of the pastures, and it doesn't surprise me since we are in a rural area (on a mountain in the woods, at that), and I talk to our neighbors when I can to help keep up the "neighborhood watch" courtesy.
**The problem now** is that last night I was down at the barn to do the regular nightly routine, and they were all happily munching on hay, so I went to the house. This morning, the gate was open.
I know for a fact it was shut last night, and that no one else here has been down there since then. My neighbors are shocked as well, since we all have livestock we strive to protect, and no one saw or heard anything. Most people will tell us they need to go through our property and lock up behind themselves -- at least that's the way its been for four years.
My dogs did lose their minds in the middle of the night, but I brushed it off thinking they'd seen a coyote or bobcat and tended to my startled-awake daughter in her crib.
Reddit, what would you do? I am going to put locks on the gates, but I don't know how effective it will be...
TL;DR: | The gate to our horse pastures was open this morning when I know it was shut last night. I am really concerned about my horses' safety. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24m] am bad at sex. My GF [22f] is not helping the situation.
POST: I've [24m] been dating my current girlfriend [22f] for 5 months now. Before her, I hadn't had sex in a while, and when we started trying, things didn't go so well. I was extremely anxious, and seem to have developed a case of early ejaculation (think 1 minute of sex).
We kept trying, and she told me it wasn't a big deal. We are in love despite this issue, and everything else is great between us. However, I continued to put pressure on myself (she didn't help when things went wrong, saying "Augh you can't do that to me"), and the problem persisted. We tried on and off for the first 3 months with no significant advances in my sexual prowess. I want to fix problem, and have scoured the internet looking for what to do - I know it's a topic for /r/sex and I am working on it.
Anyway, fast forward to now. We don't try to have sex at all anymore. I am pretty bothered by this, because in my past relationships, I had lots of good sex with girls who were very open to talk about things. If I even bring up trying to work on the problem with her, she deflects and gets agitated, saying things like "I have tried" or "This isn't my fault" or "I don't know what to do". Ultimately we end up fighting, I feel pretty bad and blame myself for the issues, and it just feels like the relationship is starting to strain over this.
There is the problem of bad sex, and then there is the problem of not trying at all to fix it, while she's upset and I'm blaming myself. I'm almost at the point where I feel that not being in a relationship while I figure this shit out on my own would be best, because her agitation and my pressure are not helping me at all. What can I do reddit? How can I get her to help me? Or should I just end it?
TL;DR: | 1-minute man still needs sex. Want to fix with GF's help (i.e. practice!), but she says deal with it yourself. What to do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [MI] Uncle is stealing money from my grandmother suffering from dementia. She has refused to sign a Power of Attorney.
POST: My cousin stopped by to visit my grandma the other day and my parent's received an email from her saying that my grandma was worried about her money and wanted to go to the bank to check on it. Since November 15th, my uncle (who has lived in her basement, hasn't worked for the past 30 years, and is now collecting his own social security) has taken out $1500 in the form of checks made payable to cash and himself. He has her sign the checks, and I have no clue as to what he tells her it is for.
My dad tried to get my grandma to sign a POA to have my cousin designated, as my mom is unable to do it due to having her own medical issues and my dad has his hands full caring for her. My grandma refused as she is worried about "her boy." She really needs to be in a home to be cared for properly. Neighbors have called both my dad and my cousin reporting that she has wandered out into the front yard yelling for help and she has told my cousin my uncle has pushed her around. Unfortunately, she gets very confused and tells some crazy stories, and we honestly are unsure if that last part is true or not.
Are there any criminal actions that can happen to my uncle? I don't know if we should call the police or Adult Protective Services to get her out of the house. He is not named on any of her bank accounts. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks.
TL;DR: | Grandma has dementia and my leech of an uncle is taking her money. She refused to sign POA to my cousin and we want to stop him from having access to her money. |
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