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SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [US/IA, UK, Mauritius] How to file for divorce when spouses are in different countries?
POST: I've had a hard time finding an answer to this, and haven't found a lawyer in my local area who can help me. I'm hoping someone here has an idea of how to start.
My husband and I were married in 2001. He's a UK citizen and I'm a US citizen, and were both resident in the UK, but we were married in Mauritius. We have a son who has dual citizenship and is a young teen now. In 2007 we moved to Iowa because I had medical issues and we needed to live somewhere cheaper.
However, he had issues with his visa. I was very ill at the time and inadvertently made some mistakes with the visa application. This eventually resulted in his deportation and being barred from the US for 10 years. In the meantime, the UK has changed its visa requirements so that the sponsor (my husband) has to make above £X, which he does not and won't for at least several more years. We've been apart now for six years. I'm not 100% positive I want a divorce, but since we won't be able to live together for a number of years yet, it seems we might get to a divorce sooner or later. We're both very tired of our lives being on hold, and neither of us are sure what to do anymore.
So...myself and our son are in the US, he's in the UK, and we were married in a 3rd country (Mauritius). Where would I file? Would I need to get a lawyer in the UK? I live in a rural area and there aren't many lawyers well-versed in international law within hundreds of miles. How does child custody work with international divorces, especially considering he's a dual citizen? Currently my husband does not contribute at all towards my son's care, barring the occasional gift. They do keep in contact via texting, skype, etc. There are no custody or child support arrangements.
Conversely, if anyone is knowledgeable about immigration laws in either country and has ideas how we could legally live in the same country, I'd love to hear them.
TL;DR: | Husband and I are citizens of different countries, married in a 3rd country, and live in separate countries. We have a teen who lives with me. How/where would we file for divorce? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M] with my Aunt [38?F], She just now appeared in my life and I don't know how to proceed
POST: Throwaway because my main account is too easy to doxx. I moved to where I live now in July of 2007 and while I knew I had family here, I never bothered to find them and until now they have returned the favor. But last week, my aunt(my father's-brother's ex wife) friend requested me on facebook. I saw she was already friends with my bother and cousin, so I accepted. Well, I open facebook tonight to a 5 message long chain of PMs including pictures of cousins I didn't know saying they want to meet me.
Now, to understand why this is so weird, I have to go into a bit of backstory about this side of my family. They've never been close to me or my brothers. I have never spoken to any of them, and wouldn't know them if I ran into them on the street. The major thing about this branch of the family is that my uncle has been deceased since 2004. And I only learned about it because I googled my name and found the obituary notice. So, why are they trying to communicate with my now, almost 12 years later? I feel really put off by the whole thing, but I don't want to be a dick if they're genuine but I have no way of knowing. Should I respond? And what's the most likely reason they would reach out to me now?
TL;DR: | Aunt didn't bother to tell me my uncle was dead 12 years ago. Now wants to meet me and I don't know what changed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my Ex [18 F] of 1 year, she is attending a friends birthday party tonight and its making me anxious.
POST: -Using Fake Names-
Not going into detail with my relationship with Wendy, but while we were together she made out with a guy who promised her weed, lied about it.
Now has convinced herself it wasn't cheating.
Wendy and I were good together little to no problems. Before i found out she cheated Wendy wanted to be friends after we broke up but of course in most cases that is impossible. She broke up with me 3 or 4 months ago now.
She is attending my friends 18th, and i have no idea what to expect from her.
After most the people attending the 18th heard that she cheated they all condemned her and broke off all friendships so its a bit strange Wendy is coming.
All i'm wanting to know is what to expect and what to be prepared for.
TL;DR: | Didn't break up on good terms, don't know what to expect or how to handle seeing her at a party! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [23 F] the other woman to [27 M], [28 F]
POST: For the sake of anonymity and avoiding a wall of text, I'm going to skip a lot of the fine details.
For several months now, I've been dating a man who is in a long-distance relationship. It's escalated from just being friends to flirting to a full on sexual and emotional (he loves me, we're very comfortable and close) relationship, with him making most of the first moves. He has told me he may (as in, as he says, a good chance) leave her for me. We're very close, and I love him, despite all of my friends telling me to run. I know that I'm also not innocent here, either. I want to wait for him, but it's not the most emotionally easy thing. She will also never have any idea about this... He seems to be okay with having two girlfriends.
TL;DR: | dating a man in an LDR, friends say run, but I really really like him and want to wait. Probably not in my best interest. Should I ever trust him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [17M] am wondering whether me and him [16M] are official or does he take interest in someone else
POST: So I have this "friend" that I basically spend every day with. He's all over me most of the time, kissing and holding hands in public and dates and everything that a romantic couple might do, yet we have never stated that we are official. He seems like he really cares a lot about me based on the questions he asks me and the support he gives me, and feels that I care about him as well. We have a great time hanging out together.
Before the intimacy, we agreed that relationships are hard and tiring, yet now I'm being given hints that he actually wants to start a relationship (gets close to saying "i love you", explicitly states our similarities, doesn't respond "no" when someone asks if we are dating, etc.).
The problem is, I have a small gut feeling that he might be interested in someone other than me as well. I don't see him hang out with other girls. However, yesterday he accidentally sent me a snap that said something like "you're rockin it bb" and also sent me a chat that said something like "nudes or it didn't happen" which didn't really fit into what we were talking about. To me, it probably wasn't nothing but I do know he was talking with someone else while I was chatting him because I could hear the Facebook message sound from his computer during video chat. Again, it was probably joking and nothing, but there is still the slight chance. He also was always protective of his phone, but slacked up a bit around me, if that says anything.
All I want to know is if he feels interested in another girl or not. I want to know whether to back off because personally, I don't want to be a second ball he's juggling in his romantic affairs. Should I ask him myself or scope out his friends? Or wait it out?
TL;DR: | Not sure whether friend and I are official or if he's interested in multiple girls and is just sweet-talking me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: wife(46F) won't let me (48M) buy piano from Sandy Hook
POST: Someone is selling a piano that's the exact one I've been looking for, but my wife keeps telling me she "won't let that Sandy Hook piano in the house!" Sandy Hook is where one of those tragic school massacres happened a few years ago, it's sad to me, but it doesn't mean anything to me about the piano. We have two daughters one who takes lessons on the junk piano we currently have, and one that will start probably next year.
I want to get it anyway, but then I'll feel like a jerk. Is she being the bad guy or me? I really want that piano. The family selling it is super sweet and I really feel a bond with them over the idea of my kids learning how to play on this special piano. We're married 12 years. She admits it's crazy but she doesn't want me to "strongarm" getting the piano by making arguments to buy it, so the conversation is closed. I told her that now any piano we buy is "tainted" because she would think it could have been "that one from Sandy Hook" every time we look at it.
TL;DR: | wife doesn't want me to buy piano because it's from the town that a school massacre happened. Should I buy it anyway? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with my _mom__ [50/F], becoming seriously stressed living at home because of micromanagement
POST: I grew up in a boarding home for eight years until I graduated high school, now I moved back home with my mother for college since its close to school, so I value independence a lot. My mom micromanages all my action because I messed up going to college once, but now I picked myself up and am doing great in school but my mom treats me like Im a toddler, ready to mess up anytime.
Personally, I'm a tolerating person so I usually never get angry but once I reach the breaking point I'll get really mad for a short while. Whenever I voice my discomfort to my mom casually she just brushes my feelings aside and now I'm reaching my breaking point and seriously stressed ( I didn't realize until I was getting agitated by everything and becoming a different person).I know if i get angry and lash out, it'll feel great but it'll be damaging to the relationship and I love my mom. How do make her respect my independence,privacy and responsibility for school work without lashing out.
Also I work part time, have an internship and go to school, besides shelter and tuition, I have not taken a cent from parents since I got a job at 18
TL;DR: | How do I get micromanaging mom to respect my independence and privacy in a respectable way, stress is building up in me |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25 M] confused that my SO [20 F] sleeps in her (my roommates) gay best friends bed.
POST: Mandatory backstory. I've been with let's say Tracy, for 14 months. When we first met, Tracey lived with her gay best friend (let's say Jacob) in a pretty shoddy one bedroom apartment. They slept in the same bed. When I spend the night she would pull out the couch and we'd sleep together. Now we all 3 live in a 2 bedroom apartment and Tracy and I share a room.
We've had a few fights recently which led to her laying with him which made things worse and she would reluctantly lay with me in our room. Jacob is going on vacation for a week and she informed me today she will be 'spending the night' per say with him.
Before anyone say's he's not gay, he's had a few boyfriends and sex with men that I've heard (walls are thin).
I brought it up with her (albeit when we were still angry) and she says she doesn't understand and it shouldn't bother me because it's just like a sleepover. I say it sucks sleeping alone right next door while my girlfriend is laying with some other guy.
Sometimes she gets hot during the night and takes her clothes off (which is awesome with me), but I don't know what I'd do if she did something like that while they were sleeping.
Am I wrong to be jealous of her sleeping in the same bed? I'd also like to make her aware that I want her clothes to remain on, but we've been fighting a lot lately and this topic has been a fairly big boiling point recently and I'm not always the best with words.
TL;DR: | SO is going to sleep (lie next to) her gay best friend tonight, am I being over jealous? How can I word a compromise? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (18M)I want to ask her(18? F) out again
POST: Recently I met this girl and we really hit it off. For me, a socially inept introvert, this is the first real time I have strong feelings for someone. I asked out to eat and she said yes but she wanted to bring along her roommates because they were going out at the same time I asked her. I didn't really like the idea but I didn't think I'd be an issue. So we go out and she spends the whole time talking to her friends and things got pretty awkward at times. So it feels like a pretty big dud, but before I left them I told her I'd like to out with just her next time and she said okay. There were some pretty good parts, she talked about places we should go together and when we were alone it felt like a real date. I'm just wondering how long I should wait to ask her out again and if she seemed intrested or she just went because she didn't want to say no. I am being driven insane trying to read what just happened and I can't stop thinking about her.
Also I forgot to mention this but we made out a few days before at a party, but we were both pretty drunk.
TL;DR: | I hit it off with a girl but the first date was a dud. How can I ask her out again? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Teaching Abroad, Thoughts? Experiences?
POST: Hey guys i'm not sure about this plan for my life and i'm praying about it a lot but I wanted to ask you guys what you thought.
I'm thinking about getting a TESL Certification, or a TESEL or whatever you call it.
I want to travel the world but I have no money, this seems like a cheap way to do what I want and earn some money while i'm at it.
Anyway my general questions are...
Have any of you done it?
What's the best kind of certification to get? And from where should I get it?
What countries have you been to? Are they safe?
Can you earn a lot of money by doing this?
Where do you stay when you go to another country? Do you have to find a place yourself?
What kind of programs would you recommend I should be a part of?
Anyway that's all I can think of for now. I would really appreciate some input here, I have no idea what i'm doing with my life and I want to know more about this field of work.
TL;DR: | Thinking about getting a TESL (Teaching English as a Second Language Certification), I need your thoughts and opinion on the matter. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Textual Harassment from Web Texting App
POST: Hi Reddit,
A few days ago I received some texts from a number I didn't recognize. The person on the other end wouldn't give their identity, but they knew my first name. I blocked the number. Right after that, I received an explicit picture from a TextNow user handle. I didn't block the number at that point because I thought blocking the number would take care of it. My logic was wrong, because I received another explicit text message last night from the same TextNow username. This is what I've done:
-contacted my phone service provider. They couldn't do anything except keep record that it happened.
-Contacted TextNow, they told me how to block messages from the user.
-Spoke with authorities. They have record in a dispatcher report, but said filing a harassment report would be kind of useless because we don't know who it is.
My dilemma: The officer last night told me they have know way of finding out the identity of this person. After doing my own research, I found that law enforcement can indeed get a subpoena for info from TextNow. Was the officer being lazy? Should I keep pressing?
I'm a mid 20's female, and TBH I'm kind of shaken that someone knows my name. I know information is everywhere, but this person contacted me twice, over a period of a few days. I don't know how seriously to take this.
TL;DR: | I've received explicit texts from someone who won't give their identity, but they know mine. Police said they can't get his info, but it looks like they could. What's the best course of action? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25M] girlfriend [24F] doesn't think the time apart we spent long distance "counts" towards our total time together...? Very confused
POST: I have been dating Stephanie for almost one year. Or at least, that's what I thought.
During 3 months of this relationship (July/Aug/Sep 2015), we were long distance. It was me that left, I was assigned something for work and had to move away temporarily. Long distance was hard in the way that they usually are: we missed each other, had some struggles communicating, etc. but we made it through.
The other day I mentioned that our one year anniversary was coming up, and she kind of laughed it off and said that it's only been nine months. I asked her to clarify, and when she did she basically said that the three months that I was gone "don't count", and that we restarted when I got back.
Is this normal? I know it may seem like a weird detail to nitpick about, but I always thought that you're still in a relationship even if you aren't physically with each other.
TL;DR: | I just learned that my girlfriend doesn't "count" 3 months of our 1 year relationship because we were long distance, but that doesn't make any sense to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: (BC, CAN) My landlord forged my signature to withdraw money from my account
POST: I've been paying my rent by going to my landlord's bank and directly depositing it into his account (using a void cheque of his). This was fine until a few months ago, when I noticed that my rent had been withdrawn twice. I figured it was an error and had my bank correct it. I told my landlord this to keep him in the loop, in case he saw the reversal in his account.
Then the next month, it happened again. I went to his bank because I noticed that it was marked as an automatic withdrawal. They claimed they didn't know what was going on, and I had my bank reverse it again. The next month, I figured this would happen a third time, so I opted to not deposit my rent. Lo and behold, the money was withdrawn again. I went back and forth with my landlord's bank until finally today they asked me to come in to sign something. Basically, it was a form to cancel the automatic withdrawal I had allegedly set up. However, I never set this up, and the signature was clearly not mine.
I moved out last month due to a host of other issues with my landlord, but should I be taking action against him? He's also ignoring my calls and emails regarding returning my damage deposit.
TL;DR: | My landlord forged my signature to withdrawn money, and I don't know if I should be taking legal action or filing a police report. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] recently had sex with my ex [19 M] while high and intoxicated at a party
POST: My ex and I broke up about a month ago, mainly doing no contact during this time. I think we maybe spoke once or twice. However this previous weekend, we attended two parties one on Friday and one on Saturday night.
On Friday night I was very nervous about seeing him and tbh I would have rather avoided him completely. However, I heard through my friends that he was leaving as I had made him feel unwelcome, so I approached him and let him know there would be no issues between us if he stayed. We then got talking and got high together. I feel that we had made peace and could possibly even consider a friendship. We texted for sometime after the party, both saying we missed each and was imagining me in his head.
The following night we both attended another mutual friend's party, where I gave him the Christmas presents I bought for him pre breakup. He offered me weed and to get high with him, I assume out of guilt that he did not get me anything. We then smoked together, and somehow one thing lead to another and we ended up having sex. It was completely consensual, he made the first move, although he did stop several times to say we probably shouldn't do this, but then continued anyway. He texted me again once I left the party, offering his friend to sober drive me back to the party so we could spend more time together.
Now I am certain neither of us want to get back together, although it is clear there are still strong feelings of love and lust toward each other. He is now, however, ignoring my messages and has gone back to no contact. I feel extremely used, and while the sex was just as much my fault, and a stupid idea, we can clearly be around each other without any issues. I feel very hurt that he would sleep with me and say all those things and then act like this now.
It appears to me that he cannot repress his feelings when high/drunk but when he is sober tries to do the logical thing.
I am just not sure the appropriate way to respond, should I even attempt to sweep our past under the rug and make amends or just cut him out of my life.
TL;DR: | My ex and I had sex when drunk and high at a party after 1 month of no contact, now he is ignoring me and I am not sure how to respond |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Considering Buying Solar Panels, and I need Feedback
POST: I will start by providing some background: I am 25 years old, have a bachelor's degree, live in Texas, and make about $65k annually. I contribute $500 a month to my Roth IRA, $440 per month to a 401k, and on average $200 per month into an investment account I play around with (currently valued at ~$5300). I own a home and owe about $148k on my mortgage (my ONLY debt). My mortgage payment is about $1200/month, but i have 3 roommates who cover about $1050 of that. The home is worth $160k currently. I pray that all this information will magically inspire one of you to paint a wonderfully colorful picture about the advantages and drawbacks of the proposal mentioned in the title, and detailed below...
I have been toying with the idea of outfitting my residence with a solar system. I can buy a 6.25KW DC Solar Electric (PV) system through a local and trusted company. They value the system at $19,000. Through a local subsidy/incentive, the cost to me would be $14,000. Add to that the federal income tax incentive, valued at ~$4000 for me, that brings the cost to around $10,000 after it's all said and done. I've read several articles that say that adding solar panels can increase the property value of your home, and also manifest savings in utilities bills. Electricity in my area is expensive. We're talking $0.15 per kWh for an annual total of ~$3,000 for ~20,000 kWh. The system they want to install will effectively cut that usage and the bill in half. To do this, I would want to take out a small home improvement loan so as to not diminish my savings/emergency fund at 3.8%.
My question to you, r/personalfinance, are what are the advantages and disadvantages to this? It seems great, but if it is so awesome, why don't more people do it? Would it increase my home value and if so by how much? Would it be worth doing if I were going to move out and convert this to a rental property (would it add rental value?)? Any and all commentary and discussion here would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | I want to install a 6.25 KW DC solar PV system. What are the ups/downs and potential value added to my home value, both retail and as a rental? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How would you deal with a cat that doesn't like you, even though you rescued it?
POST: My spouse and I already have two very loving cats, ages 10 and 9. They are both very affectionate to us (laps, bed, holding, petting, etc). Selma is definitely the alpha but Beau loves her to death and they'll sleep with each other. Selma has a little more affinity for me, but not much. This could be important.
I persuaded the spouse to adopt a very unique stray that I fell in love with at first sight. About two weeks after getting the kitten home, she (Luna) would have nothing to do with me except for toys and food.
Almost a year later, it's the same. She will come around me, etc, but if I try to pet her, she rolls her back and walks away. If I pick her up, she wants to go back down. TOTAL OPPOSITE with the spouse. Luna will sleep under the blankets spooned up next to my spouse. Spouse can pick her up and pet her anytime and she loves it.
Also, Luna will harass the shit out of Selma and Beau. It's not constant fighting, but she's a bully. We've talked about finding her a new home, but then we feel bad... Spouse is totally aware of the situation, acknowledges it, and I'm not delusional...
Help!!
TL;DR: | Adopted stray cat a year ago; cat dislikes me, but loves spouse and stray harasses other house cats. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Rented out my parking spot, but now renter won't pay (Montreal, Canada)
POST: So I'm currently a university student in Montreal, Quebec and my apartment that I've been renting comes with it's own parking spot around the back of my building. As I live out of the province (in Ontario) I had no use for it as I don't have a car so last year I decided to rent out my parking spot to a fellow student.
A friend of mine said that her cousin (also another student) wanted to rent out my parking spot and we agreed that he would rent it out for $100 a month. I kept in touch with him through text message on a monthly basis and we kept trying to arrange for him to pay me for the parking spot, but because of our busy schedules we could never meet up (I was very lenient which was stupid of me, because I thought he was trustworthy, as he was related to my friend).
Before the school year was over and I was leaving the city to go back home, I messaged him so he could finally pay me for renting out my parking spot for the year, totalling $700. He told me he was on vacation out of the city but he could e-transfer me the $700 in a few days when he had money in his account. I messaged him after a few days to find he blocked my number, was ignoring my calls, etc. I even got my friend to try and get a hold of him but she had no luck either. Now months later, my friend got in touch with him and he is saying he doesn't want to pay me because there were problems with the parking spot, and if I want my money I am going to have to sue him to get it.
Essentially, because I was irresponsible and too trustworthy, I'm currently out $700 and I don't know what to do. Right now the only proof I have is the text messages between us which I have saved, and now I'm wondering if I were to take him to court, would it be sufficient enough to get my money back, or is it even worth going through the legal system?
TL;DR: | rented out my parking spot, renter is now refusing to pay me the $700 he owes me. Do I sue or forget it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] have been thinking of asking out a girl [20/F] I've known since High school. Idk if i should or not.
POST: So I've known this friend since 2009 in high school. She was a very shy person and I was her first guy friend. I've always found her cute and all but i never asked her out. Years later she tells me that use to like me but that was in the past. She had a bf for like 3 years. During that time, we would chat and try to hangout. Her bf didn't like that and she was not allowed to talk to me or hangout. This happen several times until recently we reconnected and decided to hangout our college. The years have been kind to her. She has bloomed into a beautiful woman and her smile is intoxicating. We caught up yesterday and found out she has been single for a couple of months. Part of me was upset for her but another part me was happy because she's single now. More into talking she tells me she tried tinder for the heck of it with her sister. She immediately started getting matches and messages and some she has met and gone a few dates with. She tells me she has been happier than she has ever been. She told me she's on the prowl and enjoying the dating life. Idk why, but after we departed and said our goodbyes, i couldnt stop thinking about her. Part of me wants to ask her out. I've always wanted to before but she had a bf. Now idk if i should go for it. We are close friends and she use to like me before. But that doesnt mean she likes me now. Idk how to start off with showing her im interested.
TL;DR: | summary: I liked this girl for awhile, she liked me in the past. She had a bf for 3 years. Her and I are both single now. Should i do it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I get my ex-boss to pay me?? Or, how can I get revenge on this mofo?
POST: I worked for a guy doing all sorts of different jobs; masonry type work, construction, building and cleaning pools, snow-plowing, catering, etc. He was a sketchy dude who was trying to run way too many businesses, and almost all of them failed. He would just pay me whenever he had money, but eventually I had to quit because I found a better job with a much lower chance of failing.
Only thing is, he still owes me about a month's worth of pay. I worked off the books, and for a while was getting it in bits and pieces, but now he's totally stopped. I call, text, and have even showed up at his house a few times, but all to no avail. I just want what he owes me, but can't really do too much else in terms of threats/demands.
REVENGE:
I know where the guy stores all of his equipment - tables, chairs, tents, bounce castle, etc. but don't know how/what to do without him knowing it was me and getting in a ton of trouble.
TL;DR: | Bad boss owes me money, I want either the money or revenge so I can have some closure on the whole matter. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I break up with a girl I love like crazy?
POST: Throwaway for certain reasons.
Been dating a girl about a year and a half, and do really love her. She is incredible. All my friends love her and everything is going really well.
Problem is, I know she is not right for me. I imagine myself being married to her and having kids and it just doesn't seem like what I want. I am 30 and not exactly getting any younger. Had my fun and starting to think about settling down and when it comes to thinking about that with her, I just don't think she's right for me.
I know I need to break up with her, but how?
How do you break the heart of someone you do love? Telling the truth just seems mean. "Sorry, I don't think I can marry you." Saying it just isn't right seems vague and a cop-out, which it kind of is. Any way I do it, I know I will be crushing her.
TL;DR: | GF isn't right for me(just know it in my gut), how do I crush someone I love and that loves me by breaking up with them? How do I break up with them? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A developer wants to build three skyscrapers across the street from my house, what can I do?
POST: A little background: I live in a medium (population 300,000) Canadian city, my neighborhood has a reputation for being a little bit rough, but in recent years has been going through the process of gentrification. It's an older residential neighborhood on the edge of downtown, and it has a reputation for being arty.
Across the street from me is a large (3-4 acre) parcel of land, which was formerly a parking lot for the old hospital up the street which is in the process of being decommissioned. In March, the hospital's lease on that land expired and it was returned to the city. Almost immediately after this, a local company announced its intentions to build a massive medical/residential complex there.
This would be three buildings, the tallest of which being 37 stories (would be the tallest building in the city by far) in their concept design which was released to the press. In addition to this, the building would be serviced by a three level parking structure, and my current quiet, one lane, one way residential street would be widened to four lanes, both ways, consuming most of my front yard and driveway, forcing me to either park on the (metered) street or in my neighbor's laneway. It is completely not in keeping with the rest of the neighborhood, would be extremely disruptive, and would block most of my sunlight.
My neighbors and I have met and we have come to the consensus that we don't want this development. We have accepted that something will definitely be built there as it is prime development land, but something like this is totally inappropriate.
Both this company and the Mayor are talking about this project like it is already said and done, but yet the city planning and real estate services departments are behaving as if they have no knowledge of the project. We've tried going to the local media, but the only things they have written so far about the project are fluff pieces in support of it. What can we do to stop this company from walking in and disrupting our lives?
TL;DR: | Company wants to build three (up to 37 story) skycrapers across the street from my house, city hall is providing conflicting information. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Lawyers/law students of Reddit; help a brother out.
POST: Ok. So I tried to cancel my X-box live membership a while back, and it was late at night. Since you can't cancel online and customer support was not open, I logged onto my account and changed the billing address to something absurd that couldn't possibly work. I figured that was the end of it, they would cancel my account when the payment wouldn't process and either contact me and ask for an alternate payment for that final month and then ban me from registering for an account or that they would just say fuck it, cancel it and ban me from ever registering again.
Anyway, I just figured out that neither of those 2 things had happened, and for the last 4 months I have been paying for an x-box live account that had "santa clause lane" as the billing address.
I finally realized this, and since I am out of school right now I went ahead and called customer support and canceled it. Not only would they not refund me for the last 4 months, but they also told me that I would be charged for this month. Legally what are my options for getting my 40 dollars back.
TL;DR: | I tried to cancel my x-box live account by changing the billing info to something totally absurd and now I want my 40 dollars back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24/m] bringing up to girl I'm seeing [35/f] that I'm dating people casually
POST: Hello, about a month ago I went on a date with someone from OkCupid and we're still seeing each other. I had planned on casually dating other women but never said anything to her because I wasn't actually dating anyone. Now I'm planning other dates and I want to be upfront and honest with her about it, I just don't know how she'll handle it.
She brought me to a concert and we saw a band that she knew personally, she wanted to know if they approved of me (they did) and now I feel like if I bring this up I'll hurt her. I don't want to do that, but I also don't want to be left wondering what it's like with other women (she de-virginized me) and I'd rather casually date now because I feel like we'll be sticking together for some time.
I'm not insanely into this girl but she's really awesome, so maybe that'll change and maybe it won't. Whether or not I should tell her that either I'm not sure, I figure I'll grow to like her more when we go on more dates.
Any advice?
TL;DR: | I want to date casually, not sure how she'll take it. How to tell her in the least intrusive way possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Found out I'm pregnant, in need of some advice/support. [x-post from r/mommit]
POST: So here's my story...I'm 19, just finished beauty school in NYC, on the verge of getting a job at one of the best celebrity/high-end salons in the city/country. I'm dating the love of my life, who's 21 and in his last year of getting his BA in computer sci. We've been dating for about 4 years, have a great mature relationship and friendship and plan on spending the rest of our lives together. Both want kids, and he knows my passion in life has always been to be a mom.
I found out I was pregnant yesterday and immediately told both him and my mom. Mom is urging me to get an abortion, and my bf expected I'd do the same. I'd really like to keep it and I know that I'd be emotionally fit for raising a child. My bf disagrees and doesn't think he's ready. We'd be pretty ok financially as long as he got an okay job out of school and I saved for the next 9 months. I feel wrong getting an abortion (although I'm not against it in general.) I understand that if he's not on board, it's an issue, but it works the other way too. Not sure what to do and I guess I just need some support.
TL;DR: | I'm 19 and pregnant with my 21 yr old bf of 4 years' baby. I want to keep it, but he doesn't really feel the same. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by wearing slippers
POST: Today I was supposed to go to this meeting in a university, I wore a shirt with shorts and slippers because the meeting was with castmates for a play (also I was about an hour late). So naturally I thought it was cool to wear slippers. When I was at the gate the security guard was like "Sir no slippers, also no shorts." I was all like "Fuck." I have to go home and change. Luckily one of my friends had a bike and this is where my fuck up begins. I thought to myself "I can bike that far." My house was about 3 - 4 kilometers away so it was really short. Once I rode that bike, I knew there was no going back. Half way through the travel, there was no problems. But when I entered the urban parts, I felt this pain in my right thigh. I was panicking because I was in the middle of the street with on-going traffic. I stopped and checked my thigh, it was about 10 big ants in my thigh. I totally forgot about that breath freshening candy in my pocket that I was going to eat once I entered the University. I removed the ants and went my route. I was about a kilometer away from my house, when the ant bites started to itch. I ignored it, there began the numb feeling. Once I arrived home my leg went all numb. I put on my pants and shoes and went back. On the way back, the numbness turned into pain. A sharp and burning pain. I went to the meeting scratching the shit out of my thigh
TL;DR: | The University where I was going for a meeting had a dress code, rode a bike, forgot candy in my pocket got bit a lot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] have never felt this way about someone [26F] and am not sure what it means or what to do.
POST: I've known this girl for a couple of years now and over time we've become really good friends. Over the past year I've developed feelings for her and just recently found out she felt the same way.
I got up the courage to tell her how I felt over the weekend, and it actually went pretty well. She was a little disappointed that I had heard through a mutual friend that she liked me, but she said she was glad to know. She said she had tried not liking me, but the feelings continued to come back.
We talked for quite a while and even shared a moonlit kiss. It was unbelievable. However she expressed some apprehension to start anything because we live in different cities, she wanted to figure out other things in her life (career, etc.) and was worried that I only started to like her because I knew she liked me. I tried to convince her that I had been feeling this way for a while (which I have), suggested that there would probably never be a perfect time, and we decided to take things very slowly.
We made very tentative plans to hang out on the weekend, and have been texting a little bit since then. The problem is I can't focus. I can't stop thinking about her, and am feeling nervous/excited all of the time but I really don't want to mess this up. I've heard people say they've experienced this, but I've never really felt this way about someone before. Also, I am afraid to push too hard when she has already expressed some apprehension.
I want to casually bring up the idea of hanging out again, but I don't want her to feel overcrowded or pushed. At the same time I want to make my intentions clear that I would really like this to work. Should I let her bring up the idea of hanging out this weekend or suggest something?
TL;DR: | Girl I like says she likes me back. Now I can't stop thinking about her and want to suggest a hangout without crowding her! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [32 M] feeling lost
POST: First off, I am currently seeing a therapist. However, I am also seeking some advice and opinions from the masses as well. Also, writing is therapeutic for me sometimes. So I might just ramble on and mouth-vomit a bit here. Hopefully this all has a point.
I keep getting into relationships that are destined to fail from the very beginning. My first last 6 years. My second lasted 1 year.
The biggest problem with both relationships was that I eventually wanted kids someday and they didn't.
I am also a pretty insecure person who seeks validation in other relationships. In general, I am attracted to very secure people. I think that makes sense and seems natural anyway. Everyone is attracted to strong, confident and secure people.
Anyway, I was mostly in control of my first relationship. I had no control over my second. I was always chasing her, and telling myself that it was worth it, so I wouldn't have to be alone or go back out there and start dating. To me, it always felt like she was extremely cold hearted. My good friends told me she was being emotionally abusive.
Now, I feel like I don't know what I want anymore. It's really a first world problem. I have everything else going for me. Job, money, family, in decent shape, a few good friends, etc...
My dream since ending college had been to move to Chicago, find a partner, and do everything that I ever wanted to do in life, and then finally settle down. After 8 years of dreaming, last year, I finally took steps to make that dream come true. I moved here and found someone who became very important to me. All in all it was a pretty unhealthy relationship. And it did not end well.
I just feel... lost... Don't know where to go from here. Don't know the type of person that I want. Don't know the type of person that I want to be. Don't know what I want out of life. Don't know anything anymore. Don't want to waste anymore time either.
What have others done who have felt this way?
TL;DR: | Second serious relationship failed. Feeling lost. Don't know what I want out of life or out of my next relationship. What is the best advice when faced with this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend [27M] said I [25/f]was a cheap, bad parent for wanting to save a toy for my future kids. I am hurt.
POST: Something really threw me off today and it's making me uncomfortable and upset.
So, today I joked (even if I was serious) that I should save the RC Helicopter I won for my future kids. My boyfriend said that I was so cheap and he looked at me like I was crazy. He even said I was crazy and cheap and a bad parent.
Just because I won a gift and didn't pay for it, I can't give it to my kids. Heck, an RC Helicopter is better than idk, nothing! I didn't say I would starve my kids or I would never gift them any more toys. My boyfriende reacted sooo strangely and it's really upset me. It's like he doesn't trust I can be a good parent. This is the second time after I said something about raising my future kids, that he would get upset about (the first time about spoiling them with piano lessons and stemt toys if they wanted!). I am getting really meek and depressed about my future with him.
I told him I was "joking" about the gifting and he's like you sounded serious!!! I was really shocked he took it so personally. Was I wrong?
What should I do?
We've been dating for over three years.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend [27M] said I [25/f]was a cheap, bad parent for wanting to save an RC Helicopter (that I won) for my future kids. I am hurt. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm interested in a girl who is good friends with a girl who likes me.
POST: I'm 17 year old dude who used to have a thing with this one girl (Let's call her Susie). We made out once, and I know she really likes me. The thing is though, I am not really into her. She is very nice and all and I want to continue to be friends with her, but one of her close friends has gotten my attention (Lets call her Mary). Mary is very pretty and super nice, but she thinks that me and Susie still have a thing. (I was with Mary and Susie, and Mary would try to get me and Susie alone together). How do I make it clear that I am interested in Mary without seeming like a total douchebag? Would it be weird since they are very close friends? Please Help!
TL;DR: | This girl who is into me has a friend who I like a lot more than the girl who likes me. But the girl who I am into thinks I am into her friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] have a massive crush on my TA [late-twenties M]
POST: I'm sorry if this is in the wrong place but I have no idea where else to post this. Okay, so I don't want to be too specific with this since I know he's a redditor, but I've developed a huge crush on one of my TAs. I saw him on the first day of class and I thought he was incredibly handsome. Then I go to the first recitation of the year and he turns out to be my TA. Great.
He's shy, super smart, and a little awkward and I find it totally endearing. I know he lives near me too because I always see him at the shops or at the bus stop. We have briefly talked about things unrelated to school and it seems like we click really well, but I often get super nervous anytime he acknowledges me and run away. I'm normally very composed, even around guys I'm interested in, but around him I have the speaking skills of a toddler and my stomach is in knots. I feel like a giddy schoolgirl and it's embarrassing.
Obviously I know I can't do anything while he is my TA, but I guess I'm just wondering if I should pursue something after the semester is over? I'm just scared of making a fool out of myself and I have no idea how to approach this situation. Also he is a fair bit older than me and is a PhD candidate so I don't know if it's weird for this little undergrad girl to approach him.
TL;DR: | Crushing on my super cute older TA, do I try to make a move after the semester is over and grades or in or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24/F] think my best friend [25/M] has a crush/thing for me
POST: Okay so basically I live in an apartment with my best friend and a few other people who work around the city and it works out well. He's a decent guy and we've known each other for years - I know him from college and he had an 2/3 year on/off relationship with my other best friend.
Anyhow, recently he is behaving differently. He's always spending time with me and always wants to do things with me, and he's started a bit of flirty banter and teasing which I tend to brush off.
Some of his friends from another group came out to a bar with us the other night and we were all chatting in our separate groups and one of his friends pulled me aside and started asking questions, such as did I find my friend attractive, would I date him if I was single, what did I think of him etc etc.
I REALLY do not see him like that. I had a crush on him years ago when I had gone through a bad break up but overall I don't see him in that way - was his friend's questioning something to be aware of? I'm not really sure what to do because I feel a bit uneasy but I don't want to bring it up and embarrass us both and make it awkward!
TL;DR: | I think my roommate/best friend has a crush on me, I don't fancy him back and it's making me uncomfortable, oh and I'm taken. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19/F] best friend [18/F] cut me where it hurt during an argument. I don't know if I can accept her friendship now she's apologised.
POST: Two years ago I met this girl in high school. We got on fairly well but had a stupid argument that led to us ghosting each other for 4 months. She randomly apologised last summer via facebook.
She never usually apologises because her mum raised her to be overconfident to the point of arrogance and she always thinks she's right. I never usually "take people back" because my father abandoned me when I was a kid and I promised myself not give people who purposely walked out of my life a second chance. But somehow, we made up and became SUPER close.
However, recently she's been acting off with me. I assumed it was because she's just got a new guy and she wanted to spend time with him so wasn't worried. But apparently she had a problem, because we ended up in a conversation where she told me I was too clingy and not fun to spend time with so she didn't want to know me anymore. We haven't spoken since.
Today, she sent me an apology for "being a dick" with no other explanations and I don't know whether to forgive her. We've had plenty of arguments but this really hurt. I've already gone against my rules for her once. I got the best friendship of my life out of it, but I also got a miniature repeat of the worst event of my life (someone who's important to me saying I'm not worth having around).
I feel weak for even asking this question, like I'd be degrading myself by letting her treat me badly then swan back into my life. It goes totally against my principles. But not making up with her means losing my closest friend completely and totally. The last month has been so boring without her. I know that I don't need her friendship but I want it because it enhances my life. I have other friends but none that can truly replace her.
These two parts of me are so conflicted. What should I do?
TL;DR: | I don't know whether to stick to my principles and cut my best friend out of my life for good. Or give in and make up with her with the risk she'll ditch me again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] am the reason why my relationship with my GF [18F] of 11 months is failing and today she said me she was seeing guys behind my back.
POST: Hi guys!
First of all, I'm german and my grammar and wording might not be the best, but i try to make it as understandable as possbile!
Like the title says, I'm the reason why our relationship is failing. We love each other like crazy, but we both have major trust issues and it's killing us since the beginning but somehow me made it work for so long.
She is this type of girl who says she can't get along with girls and has a lot of male friends and only one girl friend. I'm super jealous and I don't want to let her see other guys (That's why I'm the reason). I have no problem her seeing her one girl friend, but they both have the same friends and she met them with her.
I know that my girlfriend would never cheat on me, but today see said me that she was seeing some male friends behind my back for the last 1.5 months. And this is really killing me. I know that nothing happened but she lied to me like that in September 2012 when she met her ex-boyfriend behind my back and didn't plan to tell me, but he posted on her facebook wall so I confronted her. Since then she didn't met any other male friends as far as I know.
It probalby sounds crazy that I'm the one that wants to break up and that she didn't do it a long time ago, but she really loves me, but also lies to me and it's such a huge red flag for me.
I will see her later today and don't know what to do, I want to be with her, but our relationship is everything else than healthy and it's going rapidly downhill in the last few months.
I would think it's the best for both of us to move on and for me to get my shit together or else I will never be happy with a girl.
thanks for your time, i hope somebody could give me some advice.
TL;DR: | I'm super jealous of my girlfriend and don't want her to see other guys. She met some guys behind my back for the last 1.5 months and told me today. I have no idea how to fix this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) am having problems dealing with my GF's (25F) body image issues.
POST: To keep things short, I am a competitive athlete and as such I'm usually in pretty good shape. That being said, I haven't had success dating women related to sports or fitness, so my gf is a polar opposite. But all of my long-term relationships dating back 5 years or so have always led to body image issues, some of which had contributed to ending the relationship. My current relationship is great in many ways, but my GF has pretty poor body image and self-esteem; Understandably, I don't expect anyone to be perfectly happy with their body...I'm definitely not.
Basically I feel like I am in a situation where I can't win. My girlfriend (and those past) vocalizes her envy of me and what I look like even though I am adamant about my support of her body; I compliment her and tell her how attractive i think she is as often as possible. I think of myself as being supportive of her weight-loss goals, but I am also very careful to not be overbearing, guilt her, or do anything to upset her when it comes to diet or exercise. When she asks for help, I help; when she doesn't, I don't or help very passively.
Several situations have occurred where I ask completely innocent questions about her day or what she's doing and she thinks I'm backhandedly insulting her. I hate being in this situation where I can't win.
Can someone provide me with some insight or advice into how I can deal with situation and avoid repeating my past?
TL;DR: | GF is insecure about body image/weight. Accuses me of submissively insulting her or finding her unattractive. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19m) gf (18f) feels like she's betraying me when she hangs out with non-mutual friends. What should I say to her to help her not feel this way?
POST: My girlfriend (18f) and I (19m) go to different colleges and we have been dating for 3.5 years. Recently, she has been hanging out with a new group of friends, which is natural because we go to different colleges. She told me that every time she hangs out with these friends, she feels like she is betraying me because she is having fun without me (for the first time). We had the same friends throughout high school and now we are at different colleges and naturally have developed different groups of friends.
She says she is scared of growing out of me and says that she thinks that is the reason that she feels as though she is betraying me when hanging out with these new friends.
She is receiving pressure to have "the college experience" from her sister who is 6 years older. This is straining our relationship because she doesn't know what to do. She values her sister's opinion, but she also values this relationship. This makes her feel conflicted.
We do not want to break up and we want to find a way to work through this. We are about 2 hours away from each other and see each other at most every 4 weeks. What should I tell her so she doesn't feel like she is betraying me?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend feels like she is betraying me whenever she hangs out with her new friends at college. What should I say? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (M20) feel very unappreciated by my SO (F19)
POST: My SO and I have been together roughly 2 months. Though we were "dating" and seeing each other for a few months before. In this time I have given her countless gifts and have helped her through her previous bad relationship. I buy her a bouquet of white roses every Monday, drop anything and everything when she wants to spend time together, and just recently bought her a $400 ring (out of my budget) to let her know that I plan to treat her with respect and that I will be there for her.
She has what I like to call, only child syndrome. At times she can be a diva. She's extremely bad at communicating and likes for everything to be about her or go her way. She can be dangerously selfish and doesn't understand at times that the world doesn't revolve around her. She's the type that tells you all about her life because "you should be interested".
So when I give her these thing or show acts of unselfishness and loyalty I get the usual than you and a kiss or something. That's cool, and I'm not complaining about that. But when I want something like say, sex, or just have her go out and do something with me. She always has a reason not to or suggests we do something she would rather do. I don't know how to deal with this because talking to her about it is NOT an option, and that's the only way I know how to deal with problems.
TL;DR: | I give my SO endless gifts and random acts of selflessness, and never get the little things I want in return. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/F] with my boyfriend [22/M] together 9 months, he casually mentions a girl he helped cheat on her boyfriend.
POST: Alex and I have been together for about 9 months. It's the best relationship I've ever had. I love him. We met because I was a regular where he worked. He used to have a coworker named Nicole that was always a total bitch to me for reasons unknown. Well until now, I guess.
This literally happened 15 minutes ago. Alex and I are out for drinks and he suddenly started acting really weird. I kind of gave him a look and he said, "wow. This is awkward. Do you remember Nicole that I used work with? Well she cheated on her boyfriend with me and she's sitting right over there with her boyfriend."
It felt like I got punched in the stomach. I don't know why it hurt me as much as it did, but I just said, "wow I really didn't want to know that." And he stared saying stuff like, "I didn't think it'd be a big deal if I told you." I just said I'll be right back and have been in the restroom crying ever since. I don't know what to do. This really hurts because I've been cheated on before and he's always said how much he's against cheating and is all about loyalty. I just need someone to tell me if I'm over reacting or not. Help.
TL;DR: | Out for drinks with bf. He points out a girl that was always a bitch to me and casually mentions she cheated on her boyfriend with him. Now I'm in the restroom crying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] have been with her [20 F] for six months and she keeps saying I don't do enough to show I care.
POST: Hello /r/relationships.
I've been seeing this girl for about six months (we'll call her Betty). Last time we hung out, I cut off our date early because I had made plans with a friend who has rarely in town. On my end, I forgot to tell her that this was happening because the plans sprung up on me and I didn't want to disappoint her by canceling on her and making feel like she wasn't a priority. Betty got a little bit upset about it and thought that this meant I didn't care about her and that I didn't care about her as much as she did me. It was a mistake on my part, and I apologized. Bettty seemed to accept it, but wanted me to show that I cared about her more.
Flash forward to yesterday, we were texting. She flipped on me yesterday, saying that not asking her to hang out was a sign that I didn't care. I told her that I'm not the only person who should be initiating wanting to hang out, and that if she wanted to, she had more than enough liberty to ask.
Right now, it seems to me that we are on pretty rough terms and we are suppose to go to a baseball game on Sunday. I know I want to take her, but I think we are just going to be on edge the entire time. I hate that she doesn't think I'm giving enough, but I'm honestly expecting her to put forth some effort too. Is that unreasonable?
TL;DR: | The girl I'm dating doesn't think I'm putting forth enough effort, but has put in a lot of visible effort on her end too. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it Sweet or Creepy for me [16M] to Bike 10 miles to ask out my crush [16F] at a park near her house?
POST: Okay, I know how it sounds but let me first explain that I normally bike 22 miles every weekend so biking 10 miles is not a big deal. Okay so I have been meaning to ask out this girl and I was going to do it today after school but I didn't have the guts to get it over with. Now I'm obviously regretting not doing it today and I am so anxious to ask this girl out, would it be weird if I just texted her "hey go outside to the park" and met her there to ask her out?
She lives right next to the park and it's not a big deal for her to meet me there, I just want to make sure I'm not crossing any lines by showing up at a park near her house. I can always say "I was on my usual bike ride and I couldn't wait any longer so I stopped by" as my excuse as to why I'm in the area. Also, I've been to her apartment building before so it's not like I randomly showed up or anything. So just please give me your honest opinion as to whether I should bike down there and catch her off guard and do it. I was thinking she might think it was really sweet for me to have biked that far to ask her out, but I also think she might get disgusted and weirded out by the fact I showed up uninvited. I don't want to have any doubt, so let me know!
TL;DR: | I normally bike 22miles a week so 10 miles isn't a big deal but is it weird or not for me to show up at her park uninvited and ask her out |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [39 M] with my wife [36F] of 3 years, she was in bed talking to a male friend from work from 10:00pm to 11:30pm
POST: A couple nights ago she was on the phone in our bedroom from about 10:00pm to 11:30pm (until I went in). I was in the room next to the bedroom with the door open so it wasn't in secret or anything, I could hear her laughing and talking the whole time. When I went in at 11:30 she held up 2 fingers (to tell me two minutes) and then ended the call. When I asked who it was, she said it's 'Brett', a friend from the office. I just can't imagine spending over an hour on the phone late at night with a random female friend from work. I just wouldn't do it. We haven't been doing too well recently so I know that my sensitivity is a little off - is it reasonable for this to upset me?
TL;DR: | wife spent over an hour late at night on the phone laughing with some random guy from her office, i'm not sure if i'm justified in being bothered by it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Can I dispute receiving a paperless statement receipt?
POST: Hubby got a letter from CC company stating that payment is overdue and the card is set to be closed. WTF...we haven't used this card in months!
He goes online, finds that in June an anti-virus software renewal charge. No CC statement received in those 2 months, no calls, nothing. He pays the balance off (charge plus 2 late fees) immediately and checks his credit score - missed payment reported AND 50 point drop in credit score! :-O
I call the company and state my case. They claim that he was enrolled in online statements and it can't disputed unless it was a paper statement that the USPS didn't deliver. He checks his email - trash folder, spam: no notifications from company at all! He doesn't even recall signing up for online statements.
It's there anything that can be done? All that's wanted is the missed payment taken off so the credit score doesn't suffer...
TL;DR: | Hubby got a 50 pt drop in credit score on rarely used card after not receiving online statements, causing overdue balance. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Don't want to be a 30 year old waiter, halp.
POST: Entering a quarter-life crisis, I suppose. I'm a 25 year old college dropout with little prospects for what I want to do with my future.
I have great social skills, I'm very likeable, I interview like a champ, and I'm not a complete moron - give me a task that doesn't involve really complex math, and I'm pretty capable. I'm a veritable "Jack of all trades, master of none," and I don't know how to translate that into the job market.
I went to school for theater (I know) and a teacher certification as a fallback, but once I started student-teaching, I realized that education was not for me. That said, I am a performer at heart. I know what people want to hear, and I can deliver. I figure this translates into sales, but I don't know anything about cars.
I'd like some form of fulfillment with my work, but that said, anything is better than waiting tables for the rest of ny life, which seems to be the way things are headed. The most fulfillment I've had in a job was selling electronic cigarettes at a kiosk in the mall: I was making a spectacle with my pitches, making a decent commission, all while getting people off of cigarettes. Something in a similar vein would be preferable, but I'd also like something a bit more lucrative... any thoughts?
TL;DR: | college dropout actor doesn't want to wait tables forever. Can do anything, or at least act like it until he gets in the swing of things. Needs career counseling. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Instead of listing companies we hate, why not change it up and share some positive stories?
POST: I realize there are negative stories for every company, but there are also positive ones, too.
For example: Alltel, US Bank, and Apple have all helped me to the point the story sticks in my head.
Alltel: Back when they were (a lot) larger and before smart phones evolved into whay they are today, I had a water damaged moto flip phone. It worked fine and all, but the software was out of date. So I bring it in and Alltel updates the software. The next day the phone kept shutting off and doing odd things. I brought the phone back in and explained I couldn't prove anything but that this phone worked properly the day before. I even brought a much older phone to activate because I didn't want to buy a new one. The sales rep went into the back room and came out with two brand new phones and asked me to choose one. He told me he would rather see a polite customer (this was around Christmas time) leave happy than Alltel make a few bucks.
US Bank: I sent a check via their online Bill Pay system. Accidentally selected the wrong account for the check to pull from, but never realized this. I get a call a few days later from my banker telling me that he allowed the check to clear (over draft was turned off), he refunded the over draft fee, and that I had a negative balance. This isn't something I expected from a bank, but it made my day and saved me a ton of money.
Apple: Some board in my iPhone 4S slowly started dying one day. The wifi would only work sometimes and the genius rep told me it would stop working all together soon. He offered the $200 replacement - I said no and left. Thanks to reddit, I knew to call "Customer Retention". Since the phone was only 39 days out of warranty, the rep said I could go into any Apple store and get a free replacement! They have also replaced the battery one my MBP before even though it isn't covered under the extended warranty.
TL;DR: | All three companies have helped me and I respect that. It may just have been the reps I was paired with, but these are feel-good stories to share. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [23F] met an amazing new guy [27M] only 9 days ago, and now we're already long distance.
POST: Bear with me - this may sound like a crazy story. But it's totally legitimate and wonderful.
I just met this amazing guy, literally last week. We've known each other for a total of 9 days.
We went rock climbing on our first date, then out for drinks and dinner that night and decided spontaneously to go to Las Vegas the next day. And it totally happened - we took an amazing road trip to Vegas with each other (basically still total strangers) and had an absolute blast for 2 days before road tripping back home.
We spent the rest of the night together, then were together constantly since the day we met. Spent the night together every night, spent all day together everyday. We had an amazing time.
The thing is, he's in the army, and based in a different state and was just here on leave. I'm 2000 miles away in a different state from him. We decided last night to make this a "real deal" relationship, we want to try this! We both mutually agree that we like each other enough to really try to keep this going. So we're already planning a visit for me to his state soon.
He plans on moving here soon, hopefully by the end of the year. So if things really work out, we aren't permanently apart.
What are some ideas you have to keep this fire burning for us in the meantime? Has anyone else been in a situation like ours? What can we do to prevent this from fading before seeing each other again?
Thank you r/relationships :) You've only ever helped me before, I trust you!
TL;DR: | Met a seemingly perfect guy only 9 days ago, went to Vegas for our second date, fell for each other big time in a super short time but he was only here on vacation. Long distance already. |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Would you continue to do your job if you were starving?
POST: I have been seeing a counsellor for several months. My employer will not pay for a psychiatrist or a psychologist. I am at a point that I feel I am no longer productive in my current job, and if I continue to work, I would be unintentionally counter productive for our clients, my co-workers, and my managers.
My counsellor asked if I would do my job to keep from starving. I now realize the question is really no different from "Would you do your job if there was a whip to your back or if your employer was threatening your life or the life of a loved one?" This hypothetical changes me from employee to slave.
At the time I interpreted it more as a question about whether I felt I could still do my job. My response was yes but I could not align my response with my feelings about work. My answer is still yes, but my justification is different. The rest of our session was more about making sure I continue working rather then trying to sort though my anxiety. How would you answer the question and what do you think I should tell my counsellor the next time I see her?
TL;DR: | The real question from my counsellor here is "Would you do your job if you were a slave?" My answer is yes, but I misinterpreted the question. How would you respond? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Today I [20F] learned during an argument with my parents [43F] [42M] that I was almost aborted before they got married [20yrs]. Is there anyone in the same boat that has advice on how to feel about this?
POST: Earlier this evening my parents got into a huge argument (I think their marriage is coming to an end soon tbh). During which, my mom (the instigator) tried to pit me against my dad by telling me that he drove her to the city clinic to have me aborted, only for her to decide at the last minute that she didn't want to go through with it.
I honestly don't know how to feel about this right now. The way my mom said it was like she had done me some sort of favor and that my dad is a terrible parent who didn't even want me. The thing is, my dad is a loving father who has always been there for me no matter what. If anything, it's my mom that's been a subpar parent.
Should I feel differently about my dad knowing that he didn't want me to begin with, or should I just be glad that I'm here 20 years later? I don't even know where to begin on how to feel about my mom telling me that as an argumentative weapon. It does make me feel bad though, knowing that my parents tried for both of my younger brothers for months. I knew that I was an "accident," but I didn't know I was unwanted.
Does anybody else have an experience or advice to share with me? I'm feeling pretty lost. I don't know if I should try to talk to my parents about it or not.
TL;DR: | My mom told me during a fight that my dad wanted me to be aborted. I'm lost and not sure how to feel about it. Any advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit armies unite! One of my good friend's picture of her minor son went viral a year ago and yesterday she found out a company in Brazil is selling it on a t-shirt. What can she do about it?
POST: Someone came across [this picture] on instagram and forwarded it to her. This is her SON (for the record, his first name is Kingston...so really it should say god save the KING). This picture is copyrighted because of all the stupid crap she has gone through. She uploaded it to instagram and facebook last summer and someone uploaded it to pinterest and it went crazy. She has found it entered in contests, as profile pictures for other people, etc. This has crossed the line. She doesn't know what to do because she is in America and this girl is in Brazil.
The girl wearing this shirt wouldn't give her much information she just said it was a company called Lode in Brazil that is selling it.
TL;DR: | My good friend's picture of her CHILD is being sold on shirts against her consent in Brazil. Does anyone have any advice on what she can do and/or information on the company selling it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My GF's [16f] body language is unreadable.
POST: I'm not quite sure if it's just shyness or if she's *testing* my skills as a partner. I've had this problem with women before, some I can read, while some are just boggling to me.
My GF and I have been dating for around 3 weeks now, everything is smooth. Whenever I try to get close to her, it's as if she's purposely thinking of a reason to move away. *Example* - I'll give her a hug, and she'll A. Stay near me or B. Notice one of her friends and run over to them, somewhat ditching me, and giving that *awkward* vibe. I'll blow it off and just walk over to her and stand with her and her friends. I should also mention that I'm a better listener than I am a speaker. When it comes to things to talk about, I'm the silent type. How could I speak to a girl to avoid that?
TL;DR: | I don't know if my GF is shy of me, or if she's purposely coming up with reason to avoid my "silence." |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO of 2 years [M21] and I [F23] are in very different income brackets. How does one deal with this?
POST: I live off food stamps; he's a one percent-er. We come from very different worlds and pride is deeply ingrained in me--you don't ask people for money and it's not okay for them to offer. He seems to forget that our situations are so discrepant (he did help me with a bill once, but I paid him back right away).
We generally split the cost of dinner, movies, and other things we do together. It's hard on my wallet, honestly, even to go out a couple times a week. However, I would not feel comfortable saying something like, "I can't have dinner with you because I can barely afford boxed macaroni." Awkward. It hasn't gotten that bad yet, but I fear it. I also never want to take advantage of him or make him change his lifestyle.
I plan to be with him for a long time. What do people in this kind of situation, and at what point do you bring it up?
TL;DR: | I'm broke as a joke; SO is loaded. How do we split costs while being fair and at what point do I bring it up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: For those who have or have had a passive-agressive SO, how do you handle it?
POST: I've [21F] recently realized that my SO [23M] has developed a passive aggressive behavior. He didn't used to be like this in the beginning of our relationship (we've been together two years), but we've been through a lot so I don't know if this has simply developed over time or if his true colors are starting to show.
He doesn't talk about when something bothers him, or annoys him, or upsets him. When he does, it's in a rude way. Instead he'll act moody, or just act like he doesn't really want me around or want to talk to me and when I ask him what's wrong he simply replies "nothing".
So then I just separate myself from him, and give him space. But it's gotten to the point to where he no longer gives me affection, we barely have sex, and I never know what mood he's going to be in that day. Is he going to be nice and loving this weekend? Or is he going to act distant?
He also has given me the "silent treatment" more times than I remember. We don't live together, so he'll simply ignore me. He won't return my phone call, and won't reply to my text message. (I've gotten to the point to where I'm so used to it, I only call once instead of blowing up his phone and becoming emotional like I used to). I never know when he'll decide to call me back, it always seems like it gets longer and longer every time.
It's weird, because we'll go months without him acting like this. Then all of a sudden, he becomes super distant and I start to feel like I'm being taken for granted and he does shit like give me the silent treatment. In the past, I would have to drive to his house and cry and apologize (for something I didn't even know upset him, something usually very small) for him to talk to me again.
So my question is, for those of you who have/are dealing with a passive aggressive SO, how did you deal with it and/or stop it?
TL;DR: | I have realized my SO has developed a very passive-aggressive behavior, and I don't know how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [36 M] with my wife [26 M/F] two years, I've got a lie I've been living with for a year plus
POST: Long time, first time. Throwaway because she knows I'm on Reddit.
My wife and I have been married two years, up and down but mostly up. We're still in love and have one child. I'll call my wife Amy.
In December of 2014 I was in the middle of a crappy job and drinking way too much. This lead to fights with my (pregnant at the time) wife and I would sometimes go to bars after work. One of these times I ran into my ex girlfriend Betsy I dated right before my wife. There is no love lost between Betsy and Amy, in fact she hates her. I got with Amy right at the end of my and Betsy's relationship and she was rude to Amy. There were times that I talked to or texted Betsy while my wife and I were together and it became agreed that I'd no longer speak to her.
Well, I do speak to her and end up driving her home and talking more with her there. Nothing physical happened, but I went over again a night or two later. Again, nothing physical and I decided I've no reason to see her again.
Fast forward to summer 2015 and I tell Amy that I saw Betsy at the bar and talked to her. Amy loses it and we have an enormous fight that leads to me going to my sister's for the night. My wife was having panic attacks and I was honestly scared for her. Things got back to normal and I haven't spoken to Betsy (although she has tried to text me and I've since deleted her from my phone)
Hiding the fact that I went to her place weighs on my mind, but I don't know if wanting to tell her is the right move. She deserves to know because she is my wife and should realize how terrible I was to her, but maybe I'm just wanting to get it off my chest. I don't want to hurt her our cause her more anxiety, but I don't know if this is something I take to my grave...
TL;DR: | I lied to my wife about the extent I saw my ex. Should I tell her the whole truth or spare her feelings? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I ask out my teammate? [30F] [36M]
POST: Hello Reddit! I'll keep this short:
I (30F) know this guy (36M) through a co-ed sport we play together. I have gotten the feeling in the past that he may be interested in something beyond friendship. I've heard from a mutual friend that he's "not a pursuer" and neither am I, generally. But I decided it's best to go after what I want, so I texted him last week, saying that if he ever wanted to hang out outside of the nights we play sports together, I'd be cool with that. I never got a response.
I saw him last night like every Tuesday, and he was more friendly and flirty than usual, but he didn't approach me or pursue anything beyond friendly chatter on the court. Since he's "not a pursuer" I'm wondering if I'm in the clear to explicitly ask HIM out, specifially for a birthday get-together this weekend for a friend of mine. I don't want to make things awkward for us/our teams either, in case he's genuinely not interested.
TL;DR: | Interested in a guy who is "not a pursuer" per a mutual friend. Should I ask him out myself? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with a guy [28M] I've been dating 1 month, wants to keep me out of our social group. Red flag or too soon to tell?
POST: I met this guy through a social group we're in about 6 months ago, we hooked up, then 2 months later started dating. Things picked up pretty quickly. I'm different from any other girl he's dated, he feels comfortable around me, I intrigue him, I'm smarter than him (apparently).
He told me yesterday he doesn't want me to come to some events with him unless it's only his very close friends. He said he just doesn't want people talking bad about us. He also doesn't want to hurt other girls he's recently dated. He is a pretty active member of the group so a lot of people know him. I'm somewhat known, but not nearly as much as him.
We're still really fresh. He said he is still not 100% sure about me, and he said he's not convinced relationships work out. I told him it's okay, no sweat.
Is this a sign he's becoming uninterested and he's just not being straight forward? Is it a red flag? Or am I looking at this too soon?
TL;DR: | Guy I've dated for 1 month doesn't want to bring me around our social group to avoid drama with friends and past girls and he's still not sure about us. Red flag or too soon? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How, HOW, do you deal with your mom?
POST: Mine is driving me crazy. I'm a graduate student, she lives about six hours away. We have never had the best relationship (I think we have too similar personalities) but I'm trying. I don't want to not be able to talk to my mom. She wants me to tell her stuff. I want to be there for her with her stuff. (She is single, divorced when I was five, and she recently got laid off. She is working, but for much less pay. She may be getting a new job soon if all works out).
I'm going through some roommate bullshit, trying to move. There is crap going on at school- problems with my registration. I was just offered a part-time job for the semester that becomes full time this summer, which is awesome, but still a little stressful. I broke my ankle a few days ago. If I ever talk to my mom about these things, instead of being the shoulder I am looking to lean on for the duration of the ten minute conversation, she grills me on how I am going to fix these stresses. I'm perfectly capable of doing so, and I am definitely on top of all of them, but she treats me like an idiot. Talking to her just makes me feel awful. Then I feel worse because what kind of terrible person can't stand talking to her own mother?
And we are facebook friends. (Mistake, I know, but I can imagine the shitstorm and how hurt she would be if I de-friended her). So I post one angry status about my roommates and I get a patronizing text message and a novel-length e-mail the next day about how I am going to lose my friends, people won't trust me, I need to find new vents for my anger, I need to suppress my feelings, I should never tell people how I really feel, I need to constantly make awful things positive and I need to grow up.
Probably all true. Sure. Since I am now ranting again, to the internet. Hopefully you guys will still be my friends and tell me HOW you manage to have a successful relationship with your mother.
TL;DR: | My mom makes me feel bad about myself (just trying to help) and I'm wondering how you manage a relationship with your mom. Any tips? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18m] have never been drunk before
POST: I need your help, /r/relationships.
This is going to sound pathetic but I have just turned 18 and have never got drunk. Never, in my life. I haven't even drank alcohol that much either. It's not because I haven't wanted to, it's just that I've been in a bad place the last couple of years, which involved being severely socially-anxious and unconfident.
I am going to Uni this September, and am worried about Freshers. I am so anxious about it, since most of it involves going to clubs and parties and getting wasted. Everyone else is so excited, but I'm shitting it. I've never got drunk before, but I want to get drunk! I'm just worried that people are going to think I'm fucking nuts and boring when I have no idea what type of alcohol I should be drinking to have fun OR how to handle myself drunk. I'm so worried that I'm totally going to humiliate and embarrass myself, do something like piss myself and totally ruin my reptuation in the first couple of days.
My friends have invited me out this week for "student night" in our local town before we all part ways. I'm even nervous to go to that. My crush is going and I'm so fucking nervous. What if I spill the fact that I am in head over heels for her? Can you believe it? I'm panicking about having fun. Jesus.
I'm worried that anything I do will reflect badly on me. I'm not attractive and I'm not confident, which means I'm a prime target for humiliation.
Help me! How do I learn to just get drunk and have fun without worrying about embarrasment and social anxiety? It's all I'm thinking about and in a moment, I feel like I'm going to cancel my plans this week and be a fucking loner at Uni. Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
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TL;DR: | Never been drunk before, but going out clubbing this week and going to Uni soon. Totally embarrassed by it and totally worried that I'm going to humilate myself. Help |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: if you're unemployed, who should(n't) you tell?
POST: disclaimer: i'm finding very few places to ask this on reddit... don't mind if you tell me this is also the wrong place... also, i'm getting laid off (not quitting or getting fired).
i was on the phone with my car insurance company regarding a hike in rates, and explained (essentially) "i understand it looks like smaller payments if i break it down to monthly, but in the long term that's more expensive and i'm going to be unemployed shortly - but i need the car to run legally and inexpensively so i can find a new job." (i live in an area where public transit is not an option and the only things in walking distance won't pay near as much as my current office job.)
upon hanging up, unsolicited advice of **"*don't tell them you're unemployed*"** was given - why the hell not? my credit is awesome, they can check my work history for reliability, but i need someone to understand that i can't pay Y amount when i only have X coming in right now. nevermind the rudeness of your "ear hustling" in the first place... now, if i'm looking for quotes, i'm putting in that i'm employed (because i am, for another week), but i wanted to know if there was anything that could be done with my existing account on that front. i'm not saying i'm doing this with every facet of my life (hell, my doctor tried to help by giving me 3 monthly prescriptions at a time instead of once a month - but the health insurance denied it, must do mail-in, blah blah), but there are a few key ill-timed payments due right now!
TL;DR: | who (and why) should (or shouldn't) you tell if you're going to be unemployed for a (theoretical) short term? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: A buddy of mine needs to crash on my couch. My roommates are not a fan of him. Anyone have any suggestions?
POST: My friend just moved to another city and is town for a few days. He asked if he could crash on my couch. I have no problems with this, he is a good dude. However my roommtes are not a fan of him. They have never given a reason but I know they are not. He's never done anything wrong to them, he does come across as sketchy though.
Both roommates are at work and won't be home until after I tell my friend if he can crash or not.
The worst part is I will probably run into him at the bar tonight so not responding will be tough. I'm just hoping he finds a place before I run into him but that might not happen (a lot of my friends have bachelor apartments).
Also, he's always been a really good dude to me and I know if I was in his situation he wouldn't hesitate. I don't think my roommates will listen to this reasoning.
I'm heading out in two hours so I hope someone has an idea
TL;DR: | I have a buddy who seems sketchy but really isn't. Needs a place to crash. Roommates are not a fan of him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, what's something that's considered totally acceptable where you live, but you find completely outrageous?
POST: For instance, I grew up in Georgia but am now living in Ohio, and the colloquial rules of the road are a constant source of frustration for me. When a driver in front of me is making a left turn at a single lane intersection (with no left-turn arrow) and has to yield for oncoming traffic, I always wait for them to clear the intersection before passing through. Here, people seem to see a left-turning driver as some sort of obstacle and simply drive around them. Nobody considers it a big deal, if the person in front of you is turning left, you just swerve around them and go straight on.
I have several problems with this. One, it's dangerous. I've seen more mid-intersection collisions here than anywhere else I've lived. Swerving around the car in front of you means you can't see the traffic in the intersection until you are in the intersection, and oncoming traffic can't see you, either. Two, it completely ruins the flow of traffic. When two vehicles approaching from opposite directions are both making left turns, that should be an ideal left-turning situation. You can safely cross the flow of oncoming traffic because the car opposite you is doing the same thing, and both are blocking oncoming traffic for each other. This does not work when people act like vehicles turning left do not exist.
The general lack of even a modicum of patience only exacerbates poor traffic conditions. I've seen people drive up on the curb to get around a backed up line five or six cars deep, *when that line would not exist if people on both sides of traffic did not swerve around other cars to begin with.* And don't get me started on the pervasive "let's turn this two-lane road into twelve lanes because fuck traffic laws, that's why" driving philosophy that everybody but me seems to share.
Anyway, that's one example of something that totally irks me, but is considered the norm here. I'm sure there are a lot of "Citizens of X drive differently than Citizens of Y and this annoys me" stories, but what are some other examples of behavior that is considered perfectly acceptable where you reside, but you personally find atrocious?
TL;DR: | Ohio drivers treat people turning left at intersections like second-class citizens. What is something that bothers you about where you live, but everyone else accepts as normal? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24m] need help communicating that I just want to be single to my very much overly attached gf [21].
POST: Obvious, throwaway because gf is redditor. To keep it simple, I feel like I just want to be single. I was married before this relationship (I am divorced now). My ex wife cheated on me and I took it pretty hard.
**I have been with her for just over a year and a half, and I want to stress that I love my current gf to death but I feel like I just need to be single.** I don't think it's fair to her, because I am becoming more and more emotionally unavailable. I really would like to see her with someone who is much more caring than I am. I am a cold person by nature and she is very warm and bubbly.
I just want to let her down as easily as possible. I really want to minimize the emotional trauma that I am about to lay on her. She is a very sweet, and caring girl, and I feel really bad about this.
Additional nots: I have already broken up with her once about this kind of stuff, but we got back together, not really sure why. I also can not see myself marrying her.
Also, I dont want to break up in person because I feel like she will become a train wreck and throw herself at me. Is breaking up over the phone really worse?
TL;DR: | Need help letting down my OAG because I just want to be single. Need some outside opinions. Need some words of wisdom to lessen the hurt as she is a very sweet girl who has done nothing wrong to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [35 M] with my wife[30F] 15 years together, after an up & down relationship, last week she suggested that we take Thursday off from work and have a "day date" well it turns out she forgot to ask for the day off.
POST: so just last week my wife & I agreed that we both need to work on our marriage. Over the last 6 six years we haven't really focused on each other because of our kids. so this time we agreed that we would start a date night once a month. and we also agreed that on Thursday (yesterday) we would both ask for the day off at work and have a day date. well last night I asked her if she had asked for the day off, and she told me NO, no i'm sorry, no I'll make it up to you, just "NO." smh. way to get off on the right foot, huh? well since I had already asked for the day off, I just decided to go on a date by myself. last night she asked me why I was mad. I told her because I had planned a whole day for us and she "forgot" to ask for the day off. she kept telling that "how much could I possibly had planned" and I told her that didn't matter, what matter was that I took time to plan, and to request the day off and she didn't. and after all it was HER idea! I guess it doesn't get any worse than this, it probably does.
TL;DR: | anyways, what do u guys think, am I making too much of it, is her excuse of "i forgot" good enough? shouldn't she be trying to make it up to me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: In need of girl advice
POST: First time posting here, so I'm not entirely sure if this is the right place to post, so let me know if my situation would be better placed elsewhere.
One week ago I was at Freddy's (burger place) with one of my friends and we were just eating, talking, etc. Then this chick that works there walks up to us and asks "how is everything?" and other generic Freddy's employee talk, you know the usual. At this point I had just gotten off of work so I was still in my work uniform (button up shirt, pretty biz casual) so she asks "you look really nice, what's the occasion?" and I just respond "oh I just got off of work." She asks where I work, we have some more small talk, then finally she says "Well I just thought you were really cute and had a really nice smile" (basically something to that effect) and walks away.
This all happens moments before I was about to tell my friend I was with about this incredibly gorgeous girl that was working behind the counter at Freddy's that I was basically going to approach and get her number. But, since this other girl came up to me first, I couldn't go to the other cute girl because that would be really rude, obviously.
Fast forward to yesterday, I went to Freddy's again with some friends. Cute girl is working again (but this time not at the counter, more in the back where she was definitely out of my reach) and the other girl that approached me last time wasn't there. There is this guy that works there (he was also working last time I came) and he came up and was talking to us and was telling us that last time I was there the girl that was into me was just talking about me pretty much her whole shift to him and other employees. He said she just kept on saying how gorgeous I was and stuff to that effect.
TL;DR: | Girl says she's into me, I am into a different girl, they work at the same place that I visit weekly(ish). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] Over the last 1&1/2 months my girlfriend (f/18) has spent a lot of money on me (m/20);concerned but don't know how to communicate about it. 9 months.
POST: Original:
I just decided to be direct. Money/gifts/finances are hard to talk about with anyone, especially for me. No amount of sensitivity will fix that. Today after a class we had take-out together at her house, and I just straight up explained what I was thinking in the other post.
I told her that I was raised to believe that all gifts should be reciprocated, and that I just felt like I needed to make sure she understood that I was broke, that I can't buy her a piece of 1k+ jewelry for her birthday or something, even though she probably knew that already. I also said that, though it's none of my business, that I really needed to feel like she wasn't putting herself in financial harm by doing this stuff, because I really care about her. I told her I was worried because it was sudden. I just straight up asked her if she was spending her financial aid money or putting this on a credit card. I said if that's the case I want to give the stuff back to her and maybe we can talk about personal finance.
She gave me the 'Awwww' face, and said her father pays off her credit card every month, and that she isn't in any debt at all. She likes to know someone for at least a year before she spends money on them. She started paying for everything because she actually felt bad going dutch or whatever because she knew I was poor, and there were a lot of times where she wanted to do something with me but knew I couldn't pay for it. She just said "Don't be weird when I spend money on you" and don't tell anyone.
TL;DR: | I just decided to be direct. My gf seemed to be pleased that I cared about her enough to ask about this, and told me the situation. All good. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Evening the Odds: Is there a way to use data to my advantage during my yearly review?
POST: I was listening to this [podcast] by NPR's Planet Money and thinking about how unfair it is trying to negotiate my salary. (Start at 3:07 to understand get directly to the problem: markets with asymmetric information.)
**Long Story:** I went on a few dates a guy working in payroll for a large insurance firm. I had just received an offer after being unemployed for a few months how frustrating it was negotiating my salary with my current employer. He smiled knowingly and shared with me some of the practices large companies like the one he worked for do to artificially hold wages down while staying legal according to the Sherman Antitrust Act. Basically, all large companies apply to receive a "newsletter" from an industry consulting group. This consulting group gets access to the salary information of all its subscribers. That consulting group then publishes all its data to all the companies that subscribe. It breaks down all the data by experience levels in each position type. In other words, when they look at salaries and raises businesses get all the information on industry figures but employees know none of it. I am now about to go into my yearly review. I like my job and I'm thankful to be working. However, not having the same information as my employer is frustrating. I'm wondering if there's a way to get my hands on data so I can better negotiate a pay raise.
**Specific questions**
1) Does anybody work for one of these industry consulting groups or payroll offices? Can you share your experience? (I haven't seen any of these reports on wages in the industry myself.)
2) It seems like industry data should be public or accessible in some way. Does anyone know of a way to see what folks who work similar jobs to me get paid? (The Dept. of Labor stats I found weren't specific enough and I'm worried that sites like Glass Door will be skewed.)
3) Managers out there - is this a misconception on my part? Is there something about the way managers think that I should understand?
TL;DR: | When employees (like myself) negotiate pay raises, we often don't have the same information managers do. I'd like any strategies that could help me even the odds. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: update: i(m24) met my online girlfriend(f28).
POST: i made the long flight to her. we stayed overnight in a motel. She was hesitant with sex at first, but in the end she was the one asking for it and we fucked. she thinks we're girlfriend/boyfriend now. I kept telling her that i can't guarantee that this will work out.
I was kind of turned off because she had a bit of body and breath odor. It's terrible because i'm extremely paranoid of smelling bad myself and i keep thinking that's a reason why other people don't like me. It's most likely just a delusion but i have an obsession with trying to smell as good as possible. I feel terrible for being turned off by her because I know she has the same paranoid personality that I have and it'll devestate her if she knew that i was turned off becuase she smelled bad. She told me she has that fear too and she tries to shower a lot. But I didn't see her brush... when she came out of the bathroom her breath didn't smell any mintier like it should after brushing...
But i'm just not clicking with her. Our personalities don't really click and i'm just not feeling chemistry. I don't want to hurt her though. She has the same mental issues that i have, except probably at the farther end of the anxiety and depression spectrum. Regardless, I understand her, i see a lot of myself in her, and i want her to get better.
Is there any tactful way I could get out of this and stay as her friend without hurting her feelings?
TL;DR: | i had sex with a girl who is in love with me now and thinks we're a couple but i'm not feeling the same way |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Having kids just to please her? A simple question from my girlfriend [27] of two years leads to a self-realization [30M].
POST: Never thought I would turn here for advice but this conversation shook me. Thanks for reading.
While discussing our future I mentioned that with the cost of college, healthcare, and housing rising we would struggle at our current income to start a family. Unless I can make more money I would be fine never having kids as I don't want the responsibility without having the means to provide a good life.
She asked *what would change if we won the lottery tomorrow?* I replied: "I would say let's GO and have as many as you want".
Instantly she hit me with this: "so kids are just something you would give me to shut me up...you don't really want a family, to create life with me...".
I was floored. She nailed it and *I didn't even think my thought process was weird until she verbalized it.* I always felt kids are something the woman wants and that I get "stuck" with, stuck struggling for and providing for..to make her happy.
Is this a normal view? How do I get over it? I don't mind the idea of having a family but I can't stand the pressure of being responsible for raising another human..being stuck in a job I don't like because I know I have a baby to feed etc..I can think of a million reasons not to have kids and the reasons to do so are mainly because I know she yearns for them; she would be a great mom; she has a finite window; I don't want to die alone etc etc.
Not one of those reasons is because I REALLY want to be a father. Am I weird? Does this mean I should NOT have children? Or do many future fathers start out this way and slowly evolve their thought process? The conversation shook me and I don't know if I'm just wasting her time now.
TL;DR: | Suddenly realized I view children as a burden I carry, something I "give" my girlfriend so that she will be happy and stop bugging me for. Is this thought process normal? How do I get over it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[26M] with my [26F] for over a month, shes all talkative all of a sudden
POST: The funny thing is, she sent me a chat msg on Facebook early Monday morning after we havent spoken all weekend and we normally dont talk that much (well she doesnt), we kept chatting all day, and we had a long phone conversation at night and she wouldnt sleep even though she was soo sleepy she would wait until I ended the conversation, she even said that we should remain in contact likes his, she said shes feeling Excellent today and that she loves life.
What's strange is that, I asked her that I'm a bit surprised as she wasnt this talkative with me before, she said nooo I'm always talkative, but iv been busy and stuff.....likely story as she keeps telling me she's bored at home for the past month....so what just happened?
When I first met her she said she was talking to someone, then I asked what happened, she said she distant herself from him, but I didn't ask why, I said why is ur status on FB still in relationship mode....shes like...come on..who cares its just FB and its easier that way from those hitting on her....or something...
One other thing, is that she said that she's surprised that when I think of her I think of beauty, I said why so surprised, she's like well when you asked me I said.."your hair"....
TL;DR: | she wasn't that talkative with me over text/phone and not even for that long period, why'd she become so talkative all of a sudden after a month and so? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: On reddit, we are very judgemental of other similar sites. What does reddit really think of our Internet contempories?
POST: I'm talking about the likes of 9gag, 4chan, tumblr and the like.
From what I see of 9gag, it's is a bit juvenile. I don't really see them with much respect. Most of their content seems to be aimed at really young kids, especially with the whole "9gag army" stuff.
4chan... Well I don't think its really that bad. Apart from /b/ and /pol/, most users, well they seem quite similar to most of reddit. From what I have seen, /b/ is mainly crap and the occasional gem. It's similar to browsing the new page of most subreddits. I went on there a short time ago while deciding what to write and they were playing risk!
I have no opinion on tumblr.
TL;DR: | 9gag is childish, 4chan is with the exception of /b/ and /pol/ not as bad as everyone thinks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Would you consider it shallow to break up with someone after dating for 4 years because they no longer have the sex drive they used to?
POST: A little backstory - my bf [26] and I [23, F] have been dating for a little over 4 years. For the first 3 years, I'd say we had sex between 1-3 times a week. The last year, we're lucky if it's every other month that we fool around. I've tried talking to him numerous times about it, with no luck, only the "promise" of "trying harder".
He claims that sex just isn't as important to him as it is to me, but I'd like to think that if you love your partner as much as he says he loves me (and after 4 years and living together for 2 I think it's a lot) you'd want to have sex with them more often than we're having it. So far it's 3 months and counting for this latest dry spell.
I don't know how many more times that I can try and talk this out with him because it hasn't made any difference in the past. He won't even humor the idea of making out like we did when we were first dating! Something so easy and that would take like five minutes seems like too much effort for him.
Has anyone been in a situation like this before? I'm trying to see if I'm not the only one out there who has been, because from when I've talked to my friends (both male and female) they've never had this problem. I'm heartbroken because I don't feel desired any longer and I feel more like a roommate/friend than a girlfriend. He sees where Im having trouble with it all, but he seems to come up with excuses constantly why we don't have sex. Please help me!!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend went from having sex with me twice a week for three years to once every few months this last year. Is it shallow for me to be hurt by this and think of breaking up with him because of it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [31 M] with my MOTHER [50ish F] duration, finally admitted that she has never loved either me nor my brothers
POST: So I'll try to keep this relatively short. My mother is a terrible person, I just wanna get that out now. I know shes a terrible person, my brothers know, our children know. The only person that is not aware of this is my mother. She s currently throwing a quincenera (Hispanic sweet 16) for my oldest niece(1st born grandchild). One part of the ceremony is where the birthday girl, her parents and the sponsors of the event gives speeches. I think you can guess where this is going. While at a rehearsal dinner, it comes to my mothers turn to give her speech. She goes on a very long tangent in which she states "I always wanted a daughter, but I unfortunately had 3 boys. It wasn't until you came into my life that I was able to truly love a child. You're not my granddaughter but the daughter I always wanted. You're the greatest granddaughter a grandmother could ever ask for. You're perfect." Now this last part is where I have the biggest issue with, mainly because she said it with both of my nieces in the room. So my mother will probably realize that her speech was inappropriate (although to be honest I'd love for her to say it at the actual event in front of the entire family) and try to do damage control. I am expecting a call from her to explain what she actually meant by that speech. The thing is regardless if she meant to or not she ,in the house of god mind you(shes super religious), admitted that she never loved me or my brothers and cares very little for our children aside from her favorite granddaughter. So what do I do? Do I finally give in to all the hate and tell her to go fuck herself, do I continue my current course and interact with her as little as possible, or do I overlook it as something stupid said during an emotional event, or am I just overreacting?
TL;DR: | Mom admits that she never loved me, my brothers or any of the grandchildren except for my oldest niece, at nieces birthday reception. How should I react. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28M] with my on-and-off lover [33F] for three years; sex immediately followed by no contact, what is this?
POST: We had a long and tumultuous relationship. At its height, we lived together, shared a bank account, took care of pets, and were a damn good couple. We were close and we both enjoyed living together. We loved each other, but I was childishly unfaithful and sent the relationship into a tailspin.
Since then I've been trying to reconcile with her. We've had weeks of reclaimed love and sex interspersed with weeks of no contact (always her idea). I don't understand what's happening, especially after this:
Mid-July, we made love and she asked me to finish inside of her, which I did. This is something we hadn't done in a while and it was incredibly intimate. I was under the impression that it meant she was starting to deal with our negative baggage and that we were moving forward.
A few days later she told me she can't keep seeing me, totally out of the blue. Since then she's just ignored me.
I respect her and I want her to be happy - however, after experiencing our time together, it's difficult to believe that the right thing to do is actually to just walk away. I want to at least understand what's going on in her head, but ideally I'd like to help her get through whatever it is so that we can go back to building a relationship. She isn't normally the type of girl who's flighty or who behaves in such a bipolar manner.
TL;DR: | Long relationship -> breakup -> rekindling -> very intimate sex -> no contact. What the fuck is going on? What am I missing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Dating] Does she [19] like me [m/19] or is she just friendly?
POST: I'll start off by saying yes I have a crush on her, and that is why I am here. She has kind of closed herself off from me in person, but not online.
I have only known her for about 2 months now. She is overall considerate and friendly towards our mutual friends.
This past week was midterms and she was running on like 7 hours between 2 days at one point. She "documented" this experience on SnapChat. I wrote "I am worried for you" and since then she has acted different towards me. Before this I did help her study for one her midterms. We talk on SnapChat, but when we're in a room together she ignores me or indirectly answers questions. Am I looking into this too much or not?
Another anecdote... I was under the influence. I was coherent but loose. She offered help to bring me back to my dorm, and that was it. We both walked back and she was, what I was told by my friends the next day, "worried about me." Did this event lead from one to the next and me saying "I worried for her" kinda trigger something in her?
If she does like me I'd like to take it slow, but I don't know if we are there yet. Would like you input. Thanks :D
TL;DR: | I like this girl. She has helped me and I have helped her. There seems to be mutual feelings between us (sorta). She has recently started ignoring me when I am in the room, but we keep Snapchatting. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my boyfriend [19 M], 6 months - hoping to become more physical with him/overcome anxiety. Advice?
POST: My boyfriend and I met in a gay club late last year and after a couple of ice-breakers, made things a little more official. We told our friends and families about each other; we go swimming every weekend and try to have an event of the week be it sightseeing, dinner out, what have you. Every month's anniversary is celebrated with something, be it flowers, a date night; something meaningful and enjoyable for both of us. As we don't live together, we both have a set of housemates we live with and both sets have welcomed the other as part of their house without any problem. Things have been great and we have grown from strength to strength.
We have made quite an impact on each other, and with ideals such as public affection, have no problem holding hands or kissing in busy streets, bars or restaurants. While this showing of affection is out in the open, in private my boyfriend has thus far been incredibly shy and not very confident, especially in the bedroom. Having been on the dating scene for decidedly longer than he, I've built my confidence up over the years and am not afraid to say I take a balance with the emotional/non-physical side of relationships to the physical side. Making love for me, is a big way to show how much I love him, but after 6 months of sleeping together sometimes 3 or 4 nights a week, he's still not open to the idea.
I've toned down my physical advances considerably for him but at the end of the day, I'm still yearning for that missing piece. Turning to porn helps, but definitely no substitute and also makes me feel almost like a half-cheat. I've also tried talking to him about it, to see if there's an underlying problem, this only appears to make him shyer about the subject.
Does anyone have ideas, advice or suggestions, to strengthen his confidence and trust in me, or should I be the one to change for him and pursue a less physical relationship compared to that which I've been used to in the past?
TL;DR: | Great relationship except for the bedroom. Advice to boost partner's confidence and trust in me? Or perhaps I should change my outlook? Would rather not be using porn as replacement for sex life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend[20f] admitted she still feels nervous around me[21m] even though we've been in a relationship for 2 months, is that normal?
POST: A little bit of background quick: We're both in school and we met right as the semester was ending. We spent a lot of time together but mostly doing school work and hooking up(not very many dates or other relationshipy kind of stuff). Our interests are extremely similar so I feel like I can (and do) talk to her about almost everything and I'd like to think she can (and mostly has) too. She moved a couple hours away for the summer so it's been hard not seeing her but we talk an insane amount via text/facebook/skype/phone and it's been good so far.
Yesterday I was on the phone with her and we somehow got to the point where I jokingly said I was more clever than her and she wouldn't ever catch up and she responded with something along the lines of "nuh uh i'm way more clever, I'm just nervous around you!" I didn't think or make a big deal out of it right away but I started thinking about it later.
Is it a bad thing that she feels nervous around me? To me it feels like nervousness equates to discomfort and that's something I don't want her to feel around me. She cares A LOT about my opinion of her so I want to use that to make her feel more secure about herself in general, but how? Am I wrong in thinking that she might only feel this way because we don't physically see each other every day and it'll change when the semester starts again in the fall (we'll see each other a lot and probably spend a lot of time at each others' apartment)?
I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to make my girlfriend feel less insecure and comfortable enough that she can share anything with me.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend admitted to feeling nervous around me even after we've been dating for a couple months and I'm not sure how to interpret it. Looking for ways to make her feel more secure and comfortable around me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my GF [21 F] of 1 year, Feeling insecure about sex with my GF and her masturbation.
POST: About a month ago me and my GF told me that our sex wasn't that great and she wanted to get a vibrator, I said ya sure I have no business controlling your masturbation habits. She got it and has been enjoying it a lot. Since that we have been having less sex and I asked about it and she said it's because she enjoys her vibrator a lot more than having sex. I love her so much and I really want ti please her, I ask her about what she wants me to do during sex and I try to do that but I think I'm just not good at it, maybe I just need more practice. Sometimes we use it during sex but it still makes me feel like she needs it for her to enjoy sex and sometimes it feels like I'm just getting in the way of her masturbating. I feel like I'm being sexually replaced by this vibrator and I don't know how to deal with my feelings of inadequacy in bed. Should I tell her about this or should I just get over and try harder, or both?
TL;DR: | GF told me she enjoys her vibrator a lot more than having sex with me and I feel insecure about my performance in bed. Should I just get over it, try harder or both, or neither? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I think I want to switch majors.
POST: Hi r/advice. I'm new to this sub but I am feeling really confused and not sure where else to go.
I'm a junior in college. My freshman year when I was trying to decide a major, I chose design because I like to draw and I am pretty good at it. I started doing design classes at the community college the following summer, then applied to my university's design department in the fall. I didn't get in, so applied again in the winter. This time I did get in. I was so excited I jumped for joy. Well, I've been in the program for about a year now and all I can say is ... I'm not happy.
I never look forward to going to class, I'm unmotivated and the general attitude of people in the industry just sets me off. The hours for projects are LONG and when I'm done I feel like what I've created isn't even that great. Last quarter I had an awful professor who made me feel like crap, so I'm partially worried that I'm still just feeling unmotivated because of that, but I also really just am not that excited to be in the department anymore.
I go to a big university, and the design department honestly feels like its own little private school where I see the same people every day. I don't like that at all, and I also never bother to immerse myself in the design community. There's a design club and I've never been to a single meeting.
I started a minor in psychology in the fall. I have only taken 2 psychology courses before (currently enrolled in my 3rd) and I am much more excited about it than I ever was about design. I am strongly considering switching majors, but I don't want to act hastily and do anything I regret. I'm unhappy as a design major, but my parents are really proud of me for it and I worry about what my peers would think if I just dropped out. I wouldn't be able to do it until the end of this quarter though.
TL;DR: | I want to switch my major but I'm worried about what my parents would think and I'm nervous about judgment from my peers and that I won't like my new major either. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: should i tell her or not?
POST: dear internet. ive unfortunately fallen for my best friend [21F] who i [21M] am great friends with. we have gone hiking a few times, we have had dinner together many times, and we have recently planned a week trip to new york to visit her family together.
I felt like i was going to explode if i didnt tell her how i feel but before i even got the courage to tell her, i found out she was already interested in another guy who she met about a week ago. he isnt even in this state for the next month or so.
i need help because i still want to tell her really badly, but i dont want to loose what we have. i want to go on trips with her and i want to be here to help her live the happiest possible life but i dont know if i can keep my mouth shut.
as a side note, she has gotten practically naked in front of me during one of our hikes as well as told me many of her secrets. she trusts me. and i trust and love her a lot.
TL;DR: | i need to know if i should tell my best friend that i like her more then a friend at the risk of loosing our friendship. read for details |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it bad that I like bitch slaps?
POST: So I was at the zoo for a Junior Year field trip. With all the cool animals taken out of the zoo and the food costing so much I wasn't very satisfied. While waiting for the bus I was eating a big pretzel and a friend of mine asked for some so I gave him a little. When I was eating my last piece, he snatched it out of my hand and ate it, laughing and turning around directly after, so I quickly back hand slapped him across the face causing him to get bruised beneath the eye. We had a minor exchange of harsh words and later on the bus we both apologized to each other. I'm not sure why I was so quick to slap the shit out of him (I'm not one to get violent nor do I have a history of violence.)
--Is it bad that I enjoyed it?
TL;DR: | I bitch slapped a guy who took my pretzel and I wana know if it's bad that I liked it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: I'm having some trouble with a complicated sublease issue in North Carolina.
POST: My fiance and I had to cut short our lease at our current apartment. Our apartment doesn't allow subleasing however our leasing agent said that we can find people to add to our lease then remove our names off the lease as a roundabout way.
We found a couple that was willing to do this, however the leasing agent got a hold of them at some point and quoted them a monthly rate lower at what we were, and then said that we couldn't sublease to them and would have to break our contract which means paying a $900 fine.
Is there any course of action I can take against this?
I am going in to talk to them tomorrow because I have to work today. Any help in this case would be very, very appreciated, $900 is a lot of money to us right now as we are both paying off college loans.
TL;DR: | Our apartment complex essentially stole our potential subleases and therefore forces us to pay a $900 breach of contract (North Carolina). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my GF [28 F] 8 years. We had 5 years distance relationship. Now, I want to have sex with other women but I love her. So far, I didn't cheat.
POST: 8 years relationship. 5 of them in different country. We were visiting each other about 1 month per year. Now we live together but I feel insecure and have low esteem. Because of that, I want to have sex with other women. So far I didn't.
On the other hand, I love her a lot. I don't feel anything about other women apart from curiosity. Still, I don't really feel attracted sexually to my gf. We had sex 3 times in the last month.
She has a few vices that I find really annoying. She smokes and she drinks. I don't like it when she harms herself and I feel extremely annoyed by that. She feels bad because she has not finished her studies yet and this is her reason of these vices. She was also depressed for quite some time now because of a combination of all the above and she takes meds.
I feel it would be easy for me to find another woman without these issues and now we don't have yet children. On the other hand we have been together for so long and I trust her deeply and I care about her. She has also proven her value by being there for me in tough moments while I was not there for her in the same degree. Should we break up or try harder and maybe marry in about a year?
TL;DR: | Not very satisfied in our relationship. Thinking of alternatives. Have to decide whether to commit for real or break up. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: My girlfriend had her tips stolen by a couple of 12 year old kids at work. They got off scott free! How can I legally teach these minors a lesson?? Details inside.
POST: My girlfriend is a barista in a Catholic hospital coffee shop. Near the end of her shift a couple of 12 year old kids rolled in and snatched her tip jar.
She chased the kids outside and snatched one of them and called the police (the hired mall cops at the Catholic hospital couldn't care less, one even just walked away from the situation).
When the police arrived they contacted the kids parents. They came in strung out and intoxicated. The kid that got away had all the tip money. Since the caught kid had none of the money and was a minor. All the police did was make the 12 year old come in an apologize to my girlfriend. During which the father snickered and laughed, making the comment "look, at least your change is still here!". Only the cash was stolen.
Post apology the parents hung out in their car until the police cruiser left. After which the 12 year old got out and walked in one direction. While the parents drove off in another.
We found out that the kids both live within 2 blocks of the hospital. Coincidently WE live 3 blocks from the hospital. I am certain I can find these delinquents out and about.
What is a legal way I can teach these kids a lesson? Or should I just let it go?
TL;DR: | gf had her tip money stolen by punk twelve year olds. Who got away with it after their parents and the authorities gave no fucks. How can I teach them a lesson? |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Should I get my Masters Degree?
POST: Currently I am working for a software company as a support tech, and very slowly breaking into the game. I currently have a BA in Information Technology with a concentration in Networking, but it's not enough to prove to my employers to get me into developing and a higher pay grade.
I have spoken with the lead developer about going back to school and he said I would be better off just taking classes, and told me to look into a specific app building tool instead. While I still want to do this, I am also thinking about my future.
I love the company I work for, but I am also in my late 20s. Who's to know if I will still be working here in the next 10-20 years.
Am I better off getting my degree now and honing the skills I have with basic programming classes and home projects, or should I just crack open some books and take random classes?
TL;DR: | I have a BA in Networking but want to be a software developer. Should I get my MS in Software, or just take classes? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, Dreams Come True can give me up to 14 days all expense paid for in the US. Where should I go?
POST: I've chosen, as my dream, to visit the US, and DCT have said they can cover 10-14 days (depending on the state) including spending money etc. for me and a friend.
FYI - I'll be 21 by the time I fly out (which they have said will be sometime next year). So I'll be able to hit up any local bars/clubs that you may recommend too. It will only be in one state, I've just got to decide a location.
What would you recommend seeing or doing? I don't mind doing some tourist stuff, but also want to go there to have a blast!
TL;DR: | Dreams Come True can cover up to 14 days for me and a friend to travel to the US. Where would you recommend me to visit to have a blast? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 F] cheated on my boyfriend [20 M] with his father [55 M] and am now pregnant, but I think I'm actually more attracted to women
POST: The ultimate throwaway but
My boyfriend and I have been on and off for roughly a year or so. We met early on in college and have been "seeing each other" ever since. However, during a long stretch of our on phase, we hit a rough patch two weeks back and thought we would go to his parent's lake house to try to figure stuff out.
Surprisingly, his parents were actually there that weekend so we were unable to commence with the whole crazy monkey sex to makeup.
We fought. A lot. Everyday.
Second night there we got into a brutal argument where we both said some really awful things and he stormed out. I sat in the foyer crying and eventually his father slipped in and tried to awkwardly comfort me. We ended up having sex, but afterwards we just both cleaned ourselves up and never talked about it anymore.
It's been roughly two months and I kept experiencing nausea and my period was suspiciously absent so I bit the bullet and took a pregnancy test. It was positive.
I'm not sure what to do now because I obviously don't know who the father is. I'm not even sure I should tell either of them about it because I don't think it would be wise to bring this child into the world in a situation such as this.
But the biggest kicker is, after the whole lake house fiasco my boyfriend and had sex a few more times before we went on another "off" stretch...and I started experimenting with a girl in my sorority, and I think it's more than just general horniness and loneliness at this point. I find myself thinking of her constantly, and every time I see her I can't stop smiling and have massive butterflies in my stomach.
I confessed to her about the pregnancy and she said she would help me raise my child if I decided to go through with the pregnancy, but I'm really not sure that's a good decision either.
Anyways I'm pretty much fucked now so I'm not even sure where to start.
TL;DR: | I had sex with my boyfriends father and am now pregnant but I don't know whose it is. Also I think I'm in love with a woman who offered to raise this kid with me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: GF and I mutually decided to call it off for college. But I still really really really like (love?) her. What do I do now?
POST: We have been going out for 2+ years and we're now heading off to university. We were each other's first serious bf/gf but the across country distance between our schools really made things seem hopeless. We know of too many long distance relationships in college that don't work out and we don't want to be another story.
Granted, we are still young and naive and yes, there are other fishes in the sea, but in my narrow world, she's absolutely amazing and I can't imagine a married life without her.
Basically I hope to stay connected enough to possibly keep some interest alive but not close enough to cause a shitload of confusion.
What should I do? And has any other redditors been through college or a long period apart, meet up, and then fall in love all over again?
TL;DR: | Mutually decide to break up for college but still want to be together in future, but how? And is it possible? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21F] former best friend [20F] cut me off on her girlfriend's [21F] orders. I still don't know how to make peace with the situation.
POST: So, my former friend who will henceforth be referred to as Haley and I had been friends for about five years until November. We hooked up for a few months in high school (three years ago) while she was in an on-and-off relationship with an unrelated gf (Nora). We called it quits because I realized that she wasn't going to ever officially leave Nora and that was nothing to destroy a friendship over. Fast forward two years. All that high school stuff has faded into irrelevance and our friendship is stronger than ever. Haley starts seeing Alex and they eventually start dating. I wanted Alex to feel welcome among Haley's friends and made a point of never inviting one without the other. Alex never showed up to anything and she'd always freak out at home and make Haley leave things early to take care of her. It was weird that Alex didn't even try to get to know her girlfriend's closest friends, but whatever. Haley said she was socially anxious, fair enough. But then in November (the very day my ex broke up with me, mind you) I get a text from my friend saying that we can't be friends anymore because I'm fucking up her relationship. The thing is, I saw this girl every few weeks, always in a big group with my own at-the-time gf present and her gf was always invited but refused to ever join us.
Since then, I can't think about my ex-friend without getting angry. She cut me out of her life entirely when I did nothing wrong. By extension, she never hangs out with our other shared friends anymore. What bothers me the most is that Alex never even tried to get to know any of us before taking it upon herself to micromanage Haley's friendships. How do I get over being frustrated over it when I never got any kind of closure?
TL;DR: | my best friend of five years cut me off with no real explanation because her girlfriend who never even tried to be friendly with me told her to. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU: public speaking day
POST: So this was a couple of months back (soz)
We have a
TL;DR: | Co-ordinator announced that I claim I'm an excellent lover, I then invite my school-year to find out for themselves. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: When is too soon to talk about getting a raise?
POST: So 4 months ago I took a job at the lowest tiers of positions available at a tech(ish) company. During the interview I made it clear that I would be looking to move up fairly quickly. (This is my first real job so when I said that I didn't really know what I was talking about, but with my degree I'm overqualified for the position I took). So a week before my "probationary period" 90 days, I had a meeting with my boss. Basically I was crushing it and outperforming everyone. She informed I would be getting a lateral promotion (title only). Fast forward another month to two Mondays ago, I got an email from a higher up that is in a different office, saying her boss (my bosses boss; a guy I've only spoken to a few times) recommended that I help her train some different teams in my office (some of the people I'm training have been there for years). Of course I accepted. Got another email from her today saying she really appreciates my help and I've been doing a great job getting the ball rolling on this new project and everyone seems be trained well. I'm doing all of this while still doing my previous job.
So that's the back story and
TL;DR: | To me it seems kind of silly to be asking for a raise after 4 months, but I do feel like I'm going above and beyond. When is too soon? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Him [24 M] with my ex [24 F] is this a REBOUND?
POST: Opinions please.
I was living with my ex gf for 7 months (24 f), me (27 m).
We had planned to get married, we even picked out what engagement ring we wanted.
We had already planned the names of our kids.
We had a horrible breakup. Horrible (mostly me being an ass)
Note: My ex wanted/wants a BF that has future goals in life, who isn't just some dude with no motivations. (I had that, but I wasn't perfect)
No more than 3 weeks after this breakup, 3 WEEKS - the one where we planned an entire future, she is now in a relationship with a guy she was friends with during the course of our relationship. He is (24 m)
She used to make fun of the fact: this guy failed out of community college. He works dead-end jobs (coffee shop), and lives with mountains of debt. She used to joke about how any cosmic bad things never compared to his life. In fact, I never had a bad word against him and she used to tease him (behind his back).
Our break-up, and his family crisis brought them to hang out more.
Is 3 weeks after something that was serious a rebound? I admire the guy and I don't want him to get burned by her.
TL;DR: | After 7 months living with someone who was going to marry me, after our break up 3 weeks later she's with someone else. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I'm thinking of leaving Facebook.
POST: I have been a user of Facebook since 2012. I was pretty okay with it, posting pictures and jokes. I use Facebook as both entertainment and communication. But, as a hefty amount of people have pointed out, it sucks now. And I can see why. I've only been able to put up with it for so long, but I fear I may have reached my limit.
Every day I have to see a "#KidsWillNeverKnow" post, "Like if you agree" post, a Zodiac sign post, improper use of emoticons, images about drugs/alcohol/anything minors shouldn't have, the dumbest of memes, attention-seekers, chain posts that are borderline ridiculous, stolen content, someone sharing a BuzzFeed post, people that act like they were dropped on their heads as a child, and/or all of the above! And even though that only infuriates me, there's one setback. My loved ones. Only on Facebook can I communicate with some of my friends and family members. I also think about how heartbreaking it would be if I quit and that took something from them somehow, i.e., making their day by posting a joke I heard. Plus, I like to use Facebook to pass the time, make announcements, and get word from some of my favorite content creators.
Not only that, but I have a friend that is a content creator and Facebook is the way I get informed of it. What should I do in this conundrum?
TL;DR: | I want to leave Facebook because of all of its bullst but it's the only way I can communicate with a lot of my friends and family. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (Non-Romantic) Pretzels ruined everything
POST: Quick synopsis: I am a 14 year old male in 8th grade, and my 14 female friend also in the 8th grade, said something about marriage, I overheard, said these exact words "oh, okay, I think i know what u said." Now its super awkward around her. To me, I think. I only want to rid our relationship of this awkwardness, I don't want to be anything more than friends with her. I don't exactly know what to say about it to her.
TL;DR: | I brought pink yogurt covered pretzels to school the day before Valentines day and ruined my relationship with just a friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Audio repair shop refusing to give back my deposit, but no repairs have been made.
POST: So I took my receiver in to a repair shop, and put down an $80 deposit that the repairman told me would be put towards the cost of repair. He said he'd give me the estimate in a couple days, but it's been over a month and I still haven't received an estimate for the cost of repair nor have any repairs been made to it.
In the end, I got sick of waiting and told him I just wanted my receiver and deposit returned, and he told me I can have my receiver but the deposit will be kept since he "diagnosed" my equipment. I came in telling him the transformer is blown, and he reiterated exactly what I told him... I was never made aware that my deposit could be withheld for this, and I believe this is a fraudulent business act. I looked up reviews on this place after the fact (wish I'd done so before...) and this is a common occurrence; he makes excuses for months on end, and when the customer is fed up and wants their deposit back he concocts some reason to withhold it.
Also, all of our conversations were through text so I have a record of what he told me the deposit would be used for. I live in Ontario and I've been having trouble finding law relevant to this sort of thing. Will the police help me with this? I feel that this guy is basically a scam artist, and that I've been a victim of fraud as he gave me misleading information. Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: | No estimate has been given, and certainly no repairs made, but the repairman refuses to give back my deposit stating it will be kept since he supposedly diagnosed my receiver. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] am about to lose a friend [21M] because I'm too afraid to confront him.
POST: My friend and I have been close for about a year or so. Recently, I THINK** we had a falling out. I said something kind of snippy...but had no idea it would be that big of a deal...
A couple days later I felt bad because we weren't talking so I wanted to apologize. I started off by saying "hey" and he saw my message and didn't respond. 2 weeks now, and we still haven't spoke a word to each other when we used to talk every day. I try to reach out again but he makes it obvious that he's ignoring me too.
I'm really not sure what to do at this point. I've basically been shoving it under the rug, like "oh well, there goes a friend... i don't care, he's the one being a jerk" but I think deep down that just an excuse because I'm so afraid of confronting him and asking what's wrong etc. At this point I'd rather lose him as a friend then to hear him say how he hates me or something.
Is there something wrong with me? Do you guys think I should really do something? I just don't know. and I don't know if its worth confronting him because it feels a bit unfair to me as I'm not even sure why he's SO mad to be ignoring me for 2 weeks?
TL;DR: | friend is super mad at me for GOD knows what and I'm not sure if its worth confronting him about it because I am a very NON-confrontational and sensitive person |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Thinking about joining the military as a last resort.
POST: I'm turning 19 next month, and still haven't found my passion. I just want to be happy. I want to wake up every morning at 5am and be proud to get ready for my career. I also, want to have a family someday but can't if I'm not a provider. I feel like I'm going nowhere. :(
I'm attending a community college taking a Auto101 class (and other general aid classes) to see if Automotive will be my career, but I just like it as it will help later in life, but I'm not in love with it.
I don't really enjoy school as much but my mom says I have to do something, so I'm trying. I recently found out I have ADHD last week from a video I saw
this can explain why my grades always been so poor. I didn't even know this was a condition.
Anyways, I feel like I'm wasting my life. I don't want to be 25-30 still living with my mom. It feels like my only hope is joining the military.
I feel like a failure. I never had a job, but I'm thinking about getting one next semester at the local movie theaters. The thing is that I have social anxiety so interviews will probably be a little hard and my resume is lacking..
I need advice, please share yours.
TL;DR: | Having trouble finding my passion, and feeling like I'm going nowhere in life. I'm considering joining the military as a last resort. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (24F) with my boyfriend (23M) - broke up, getting back together, doesn't want any physical contact, need advice please
POST: Boyfriend and I dated for about 3 years and he broke up with me a month ago. He was having trouble with the distance while we both spend this year abroad in different countries. I've been okay with the distance. It sucks but I've made some friends and have a wonderful Icelandic family I'm living with.
The last month has been awful for me and I finally decided that I should move on whether I want to or not. He wanted to come visit me for the holidays in Iceland but I told him not to come unless he wanted to work things out. I didn't want this long drawn out goodbye sequence filled with tears and landscapes living in my subconscious. He ended up coming after the New Year and we were physical.
I'm now visiting him in Sweden and he's been extremely standoffish. He doesn't want to hug me or kiss me. Even holding hands bothers him. I asked him why he was being so aloof and he said he's trying to work it out in his head. He feels uncomfortable being physical when I'll just be leaving again. This bothers me. I feel insecure and unwanted and it doesn't help when he tells me he wants to work things out but shows no interest in me.
I'm in love with him. I want to make things work. We spent the past month with very limited contact. With 5 more months of long distance ahead I'm worried it'll only be harder. What do I say to him and how can we make this work?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for 1 month, wants to make things work but isn't wanting any physical contact. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19M] 'cheated' on her [18F], but I didn't know we were in a relationship.
POST: Sorry if that title is confusing. Anyway, I started college a couple of weeks ago, and this girl (Claire) that I met and I immediately hit it off. We started hanging out and texting a lot, went on a few dates, we kissed, and I thought things were going pretty well. I wouldn't say it was a relationship yet, but maybe it could turn into one. This all took place over about a week.
A bit less than a week ago she texted me asking if I wanted to do something later. I said yes, and she just stopped responding to my texts. I thought, 'okay, I guess she doesn't want this to go any further'. So I backed off, and we haven't really talked since.
I met this other girl (Sarah) in another one of my classes, and we started talking and I asked her out to coffee yesterday. We went and had a fun time, but Claire's friend saw Sarah and me and told her, and now Claire is mad at me, saying that she thought we had something and I basically cheated on her. I'm just confused because she was the one who stopped responding to my texts so I thought she wanted to end things. Am I in the wrong here? Should I have waited longer before asking Sarah out? Did Claire not want to end things? I'm just really confused here.
TL;DR: | A girl I went on a few dates with stopped responding to my texts, so I thought she wanted to end things. I went on a date with another girl, and now she's mad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[23 Female] 7 year relationship with my boyfriend[23 male] has ended and I feel a little lost.
POST: Hello all.
The break up is obviously a little hard for me. I have conflicting feelings about everything. Some days I know I did the right thing, some days I feel like I should have stayed with him. Then, out of nowhere there is a little part inside of me that is like a wild animal. I've been wanting to drink and...not to be graphic or anything, but I've had...a lot of sexual tension lately...and something inside me just wants to bust out and go crazy.
I'm not like that at all, for starters. Only been with my ex and gave him all my firsts. I'm quiet, I'm shy, I'm very awkward. Not a nun in training or anything, but I cherish my body and love the thought of giving it to a unselfish guy that will love me unconditionally for the rest of my life (im a bit of hopeless romantic). Thing is, I don't think i am going to find that guy so quickly. lol Would it be wrong of me to mess around or at least find a trustworthy friends with benefits partner, when it isn't something I would ordinarily do? I'm just a little confused about this and would like to know some of your experiences.
TL;DR: | Broke up with selfish boyfriend of 7 years, feeling horny and craving alcohol. Would it be wrong to indulge in these urges? Is this normal? What should I do? Would like advice/experiences. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend of 5 years (F21) and I (M20) have a kid together but recently broke up. I can't move on, help?
POST: My now ex and I broke up about three months ago. I was blind sided by the break up and thought everything was fine. The problem is I can't move on. We did everything together for
5 years and now I feel lost. We have a son together and every time I contact her to see our son, it brings back all the memories.
I know a lot of advice for breakups is to exercise but her and I were work out partners and every time I go to the gym it reminds me of her.
Anyone been through something similar that can offer advice?
TL;DR: | gf and I broke up but I come in contact with her every week so I can't get her out of my head |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit I need pest-control advice; how do you permanently get rid of fleas?
POST: My sister has two cats that used to have fleas and she would bring them over to my parents' house. She only stayed about two days and then went back to her own apartment. This happened about 3 times before I started noticing little bite marks on my legs when getting into bed. My bedroom was in the basement and had a carpet floor, but the shitty carpet that's all flat and rough because the people who had the house before us used it as a sewing room (old lady). Then I noticed that there were little black things crawling up my legs and biting me and realized that they were fleas. Fuck having hairy legs. The fuckers would crawl up my socks and bite right where the socks meet my shins. Fuck everything about them.
Anyways, after about a week, enough was enough and I decided to move into the bedroom upstairs and leave that hell-hole alone. It's nice upstairs because its all hardwood flooring with the occasional rug here and there. I went back down the a flaming vengeance with this cheap-ass fabric flea spray and basically used up the whole bottle spraying down the shitty-ass carpet and couch and sides of the mattress, followed by a vacuuming. It seemed to work for a bit because when I walked in the room I didn't find any of the bastards that jumped on me. I still didn't trust the room so I still just stayed upstairs. Skip forward for a couple months and a few more visits from my sister and her cats and the place is now thriving with fleas again. The cats were even flea-free before the visit so there must've been some flea eggs hidden somewhere.
To make a long story short, the fleas are starting to invade the upstairs after I made a trip downstairs to the room for a second to grab something and came back up to find my socks and shins were infested with about 20 of the little FUCKING CUNTS. Sorry, I really hate fleas. So how the fuck do we get rid of them? I live in Canada so there aren't as many options as far as bug control goes (less sprays and no bug-bombs) which fucking sucks.
TL;DR: | Fucking fleas are making their way upstairs from the basement room because my dumbass self wanted to grab something in the room and brought about 20 of the fuckers with my socks and legs upstairs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Convincing my Mentally Challenged Cousin to Eat a Thumbtack
POST: This actually happened yesterday, since our family got together for Mother's Day. I'm isolating myself sitting and texting in one of the side living room areas, since my mother passed away a couple years before and I'm not too fond of the holiday anymore. Suddenly, my cousin (let's call her Tumpy), who was born with down syndrome, walks into the room. I briefly chat with her and suddenly she picks a thumbtack off the ground! I snatch the thumbtack from her hand and tell her not to play with sharp objects.
Then I had an idea! What would happen if Tumpy ate the thumbtack? This is where I truly fucked up. I told her that thumbtacks were actually just pointy candy and that she should try it. Tumpy trusted me enough to eat it and when she did, she emitted the loudest screech of pain I've ever heard in my life. She dragged her legs across the ground and charged into the other main living room area where everyone else was seated, knocking over lego structures that the kids made. Now she's screeching, the kids are crying, the pie is getting burned and everyone is frantic and freaking out.
That's when Tumpy opened her mouth and everyone sees a thumbtack stuck down the side of her throat. Using tweezers, they remove it, and lecture her not to eat sharp or unknown objects. Then, she pointed at me. Everyone's head turned to face me, glaringly. Tumpy shouted "HE DIDHG TOLD EATTTTTUGHHHH". I shrugged and told them I had no idea what she was indicating and they believed me.
Now I feel really awful! Should I apologize to Tumpy? I'm starting to feel like convincing her to eat the thumbtack might be considered insensitive. Regardless, I fucked up. Help!
TL;DR: | I convinced my cousin to eat a thumbtack and because of her learning disability, nobody believed her when she pointed me out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [22 M/F] of 4 months, I'm not comfortable with our official date
POST: Hey Reddit
Me and my boyfriend have a wonderful relationship. We fit so well and it's just so easy being with him. We enjoy similar stuff, have the same sense of humor and are just generally having a great time together. I couldn't ask for more.
Obviously I wouldn't be posting here if it weren't for the but... There's this one thing that has been kind of bothering me since the start. My ex and me had a pretty 'weird' official date (think holiday or major event). We broke up and about a half year later I meet my current boyfriend. By pure chance, this happens to be on the anniversary date of my ex and me. We hit it off instantly and get into a relationship. In a weird way, everything just felt super right and we never really had 'the talk' or anything like that.
A couple of months later we talk about deciding on an official date. It's not necessary but I think it's a really cute idea. Since we never really became official in the traditional sense we don't share a special date except for the one we met. So that's what my boyfriend suggests. I'm really uncomfortable with the idea, I want this relationship to have it's own things and be a completely different thing. But I also didn't want to give my boyfriend the impression that he has to consider my ex in some way. I really don't care about my ex anymore but I just so happen to remember dates really well. I don't want to lose a second of thought to my ex on the day I want to celebrate the relationship I have with my boyfriend. I just couldn't tell him that. I stated that I'm not comfortable with the date and he didn't really understand yet was perfectly fine with moving it to the day after that. Which still feels so... used?
Am I being weird? How do I get over this? Should I forget about an official date completely? Should I tell him why its bothering me? It seems such a silly problem but I just can't get it out of my head. Please, help me with some advise!
TL;DR: | I'm being overly difficult about the official date of my boyfriend and me because it's about the same my ex and me had. |
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