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SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Destroying School Property
POST: Okay, so much like every other post this happened a few days ago; I'm lazy, sue me.
On the cold winters' morning of the FU I had a double period. On the break between classes i walked over to my friend, as we were talking i closed his laptop lid.
This fucker had no rubber/grip on the base of the laptop, so instead of shutting the lid his laptop slide straight off the desk. on the way down the screen smacked into the seat of the chair.
The result was a crack almost cleant dwon the center only vearing off 3/4 of the way up. The outcome of the whole ordeal was the leaft half of the screen not working and he was not able to continue his work.
And so began our slow walk to the IT Department. Very luckily my school has good insurance for these laptops and the first 'breakage' was free of charge, they simply gave him a replacement and switched out the hardrive.
TL;DR: | Broke my friends schoo laptop, emabarissing walked to IT, escaped by the hair of my balls. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 19(M) In A Difficut Situation With 20(F)
POST: So here I am.
Never been in a relationship of any sort, fooled around occasionally (still a virgin though) and I meet this great girl at work. Smart, pretty (not drop dead, but pretty) and into loads of the same stuff I am. We get on like a house on fire. She is in a relationship of about a year or so with a guy from uni. I'm just off to uni next week having taken a year off. We text everyday, lengthy passages about all sorts, and then she texts me tonight, very drunkenly, that she is bored of her boyfriend and wants to go out with me. I should make it clear it doesn't actually say this, because the text is largely illegible, but I think that's the jist of it. I got her to send it twice and pieced the two texts together to form some sort of sentence. Anyway my response was wait till tomorrow and see how she feels.
I am in a terrible spot where I really want to go for this, but at the same time **the timing couldn't be worse.** With us both off to uni we'll hardly see eachother, and I don't want to deprive myself of experiencing university life (if you know what I mean). I also don't want to be held responsible for her break up in anyway.
But she is an awesome girl, the kind of girl that is **special.** You don't just pass that up do you?
The way I see it I have two options:
1) Go out with her, not see her until Christmas, miss out on plenty at uni and be a bit sad with a long distance relationship for a few months.
2) Go to uni, have a great time, but constantly think I may be missing out.
3) Go to uni, have such a good time, meet a new girl that I feel is just as special.
4) Go to uni, just fucking enjoy it, and see what comes around next summer, by which time she'll have graduated and we'll be working together again.
TL;DR: | Girl wants to break up with bf for me, I really like her but I'm just starting university. Situation should be better next year though! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [43 F] with my boyfriend [49 M] of a year, living together-how to divide up bills?
POST: Just wanting advice on how to divide up bills if you live with a significant other. We have separate accounts. I've been paying all the bills and asking him for approximately half (I don't mind paying more since I make almost twice as much) but it gets awkward asking for half of all the bills.
For groceries, we tend to just alternate who pays-him one time and me the next. Seems to work out okay. Does anyone else break up bills in another way such as one of you pay the rent the other pay the other bills or something?
Just looking for a less awkward way of doing things. I don't like to ask people for money. It's just a thing for me. I almost don't mind not making him pay as much but if this relationship ends I don't want to be kicking myself for not watching my money more closely.
How do others who live together but don't mix their money have other ways of splitting up the bills? Or any logistical suggestions other than drawing out cash and paying the other one half of the money like that?
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | How do you divide up the bills for payment each month when you live together but don't mix your money? It gets awkward for me asking for money and then dealing with cash from my boyfriend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] - I'm fat. My parents hate me, men are repulsed by me, I'm not respected. How do I make life less hard?
POST: Throwaway because of shame; also, I want this to be short, direct, and readable. But please ask me questions in the comments if need be!
So, as the title suggests, I'm fat. I'm about 5'4" (1.6 m) and a little under 200 pounds (90 kg).
Being fat has caused me major depressive issues as well as a plethora of relationship problems. I've never had a sober kiss (implying that men only find me beautiful when they're wasted). I've never been in a romantic relationship.
My parents constantly tell me they're disappointed in me gaining weight every year, saying I'll never find a job or respect in the world.
Other than my weight I'm a pretty cool person, I think. I'm an intelligent individual (going to college on a full ride scholarship), fun to be around (I'm one of those "friends with everyone" people and my best friends truly love me), and I actually am pretty (I have a nice face).
I also try my damnedest to be kind to everyone. To me, being kind is the best thing I can be. But I have committed the ultimate sin of being fat.
I know that sounds like a lot of bragging, but I just want to be honest and explain that the *fat* is the problem. I'm not ugly or mean or stupid.
I'm having a huge pity party right now. I have plenty of excuses for why I haven't lost weight yet and none of them are good. It's hard, and it's *really* hard for a college student. But being unloved is harder.
I need to know how to not let my fat make me undesirable in every aspect. How can I make people like me, respect me, and see me as a romantic/sexual individual?
TL;DR: | If anyone has a magic weight-loss solution that will make me gorgeous in three days let me know asap. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/20] just got dumped after 5.5 years by my GF [F/20] and I feel so empty
POST: So she just left me a little while ago. We have been together since we' we're both 15. Started dating October 2009. Same town. Now the same college. Our relationship was amazing. I love her more than anything else in the world, even my own family and no one loves her more than I do. We have been through more than most people. Surgeries, death, a long distance relationship for a whole year (she is a year above me at school). About 2 months ago she told me she wasn't in love with me anymore. It was the worst day of my life up until today. I expressed everything about how I felt and we decided to keep trying and hopefully she'd love me again. Before we started dating I was never happy. Divorced parents, I was abusive emotionally and physically to my family. I ended up getting placed in a psych hospital for depression and kicked out of of public school. Not until I met her was I happy nor did I make any effort to change. She basically saved my life.
She broke up with me today. Saying she didn't feel anything anymore when we hangout. She says she needs time and doesn't know how long but she wants me in her life and wants to be friends for each other. I don't really know what to do. She says I need to not be so dependent on her for happiness but I don't know what happiness is without her. No matter what the problem was or how I was doing I ALWAYS had her no matter what. I was always going to be happy because she was there. And now she's not. I have no clue why I'm posting this. Maybe just typing this out helps, idk. Maybe I just want to see that random internet people whom I never met care about my story. I don't know anything right now. Can anyone help?
TL;DR: | just got dumped after 5.5 years and I have no idea what to do. This is the worst day of my life |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: have any of you had to break it off with someone you genuinely care about? if so, how did you do it?
POST: I am 25/F currently in a long term relationship with a 37/M. I've lived with him for 3 years, we've been together for 4.
Long story short, my bf is an amazing human being. He is genuinely a good person. We all have our flaws, he does too.
The problem is, however, I feel myself changing. It must be a mid 20's thing? When I met him, I helped him get his life together. (we met in University). He was also an undergrad student. But I'm tired of being the "responsible adult" (in the way I have to parent him). I want to go out an have fun and enjoy myself with people my own age.
Also, our sex life is dead. I'm not attracted to him anymore. We haven't had sex in a year. But I can't tell him to his face that I'm not attracted to him.
Again, he is a wonderful person and one of my best friends. I wish there was SOMETHING I could point to, for instance, him cheating on me. I WISH. It would make it so easy. But there's not really.
Have any of you had to break up with someone you didn't hate? Any advice?
TL;DR: | I want to break up with someone I've been with for a long time, and began building a life together. I don't hate him, and need advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [40 M] GF [27 F] are having issues because I'm very pragmatic and she's very idealistic about relationships.
POST: I'm chalking this mostly due to our age difference but she wants prince charming to come and swoop her off her feet and I guess I'm the kind of guy that says "hey I spend all of my free time with you, am good to you, and don't sleep around. we have a great social life and sex life. this is bliss to me"
Where the manifests itself is when I travel for work, which is very frequently. She gets very self-conscious and can get abrasive even if I've given her no reason besides the fact that I didn't respond to a text immediately. E.g., "i hope you're enjoying F'ing whoever you're f'ing in [insert city]."
I think her expectation is that I flower her with texts about how much I miss her and can't wait to be in her arms again after being gone for two days (I didn't do this before and she got mad). I'll fly 5 hours to just have dinner with her and then fly back out immediately (she asked for that one time), etc. When in reality I'd love to have her pick me up at the airport, have a casual meal, have a few drinks, and then snuggle and watch TV with her (and she knows this).
I'm no saint, by any means, and my age probably shows because sure, I have more baggage than her (I've been married but divorced 8 years ago - no kids), and I'm pretty career-focused but I'm also pretty up front as to what I can give and can't give.
I do care for her a great deal but it's getting to be too much to the point where we currently on a "break". But I do miss her and am kind of a loss as to next steps especially since I'm returning home from work after not seeing her for two weeks.
Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Big age difference and I travel for work. She seems to be having a hard time handling it and sometimes takes it too far when she gets angry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M21] want to approach my best friend [F21] about a friends with benefits type situation. Advice?
POST: My best friend [F21] of 4 years and I [M21] are very close. We're both attracted to eachother. We've kissed a few times (both drunk and sober), we flirt and stuff. She's asked me to sleep with her while drunk and she's also told me she likes me but is worried about the friendship while drunk. She denies that last part while sober though.
A few days ago she confided in me that she's really embaressed and worried about the fact that she's a virgin. She is nervous it'll turn people off and she'll have bad experiances her first times. She doesn't have any hang ups about sex, just hasn't found the right time yet.
I'd really like to propose sleeping together. We're both totally comfortable with eachother, trust eachother, and care about eachother. I feel like we'd have fun and I could make sure that she has a really good first experience.
How would you guys recommend proposing this to her? I don't want to come across like I'm just after sex I think a FWB or even a one time thing would be great. If she actually does have feelings for me, I'd be open to trying dating as well. I'd particularly like to hear from the ladies and anyone that's had a similar situation.
TL;DR: | Friend is nervous/embaressed to be a virgin, I'd like to propose us sleeping together. How? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [F20] accidentally found my boyfriend [M22] making plans behind my back.
POST: I [F20] have been dating my partner [M22] for just over a year now, and have known each other for three.
I stayed at home today to finish off some university work and decided to take a break. I opened up facebook to see that I had a new message, or so I thought. His account was still logged in, but I hadn't noticed and opened up the message (since she and I are facebook friends it didn't strike me as odd.)
Turns out my boyfriend has made dinner plans, without even mentioning it to me, with a girl he used to be very close with. I know they've fooled around in the past, but I never asked to what extent, feeling it was unnecessary to do so.
I'm really puzzled, to be honest. Up until now I've never had any inclination to believe he would be uncomfortable telling me he had plans with somebody from his past. I don't think that it's the dinner plans that bother me, but the fact that I feel as though he hid it from me. That's the part that's nagging at me telling me that something is wrong. I'm also worried that I may just be overreacting, opting for the "worst case" scenario in all of this.
Now I know that I should talk to him about all of this, but I do feel as though I was in the wrong for reading his message in the first place (however accidental that may have been). Is there any way I can talk to him without sounding accusatory or upset?
TL;DR: | Accidentally found boyfriend made dinner plans with girl from his past. Not upset about plans, but that he hid them from me. How do I talk to him about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 35M think I need to break/postpone my engagement (to 29F)
POST: We have been together since 2010, engaged in 2011, due
to marry in late May.
I love her very much, and I have been hurt a few times
when we have been apart (due to work/family reasons)
as she gets very upset and - I feel - she is unable to be apart.
She is also completely unable to "let things rest" and is fixated on
things making it near impossible to have peace until said
issue is resolved.
believe it my career will always result in me needing to be apart, even for just a few days a week.
But, I don't think I can handle any more of the stress, as it is always I who calms her and tries to bring back the calm.
I really want her to visit a psychologist at least to address these issues with a 3rd party, but she firmly believes they will only tell her things
she already knows. I put a LOT of effort into being a "better man", I sought out
advice years back to help me learn how to find inner
peace, and now I hope she might too, but it seems
unlikely.
I should add: I have addressed the problem multiple times.
I have an ex, ex and I live in different countries, still on good
terms but will most likely never meet again (we were
friends not partners).
Help me know what to do to address this before it is too late.
TL;DR: | I think I need to postpone/end my wedding plans as I believe my fiancee is unable to handle being apart and also rationally handle stress. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [15 M] with a girl I've been dating[16 M/F] for a few weeks, need help with conversation issues.
POST: So a girl and I have been dating for a few weeks now. We're both pretty interested in each other, but we are inexperienced in dating and strong relationships in general. We have had fun so far and have similar interests, but he have issues when it comes to talking with each other.
We both kind of suck at conversation outside of using sarcasm and jokes, and I was looking for advice on how we can talk to each other without having awkward silences fairly often. I do want to date her because I am interested in her and she is awesome, but I am also looking for a real relationship where we can both connect.
A little background:
We tried dating once before about a year and a half ago but we both weren't ready for a relationship and it didn't work out then. We have stayed friends since then and have a few mutual friends.
Last year my mom passed away and I slipped into depression. I became fairly isolated and wasn't social for several months. I feel awkward talking with people now and have been trying to retrain myself. I've been taking anti-depressants and have been doing better recently and I felt the courage to ask her out. I shared that I have depression with her and she reacted well, and hasn't treated me differently because of it. I'm hoping there's a way to make this work
Sorry about the long post :\
TL;DR: | A girl I'm dating and I have trouble connecting with conversation, and I'm looking for help in fixing that. Thanks a bunch! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (19F) got blacked out drunk and cheated on my boyfriend (19M)
POST: My boyfriend and I dated for almost 8 months, both in college and are currently long distance. I went to a friend's birthday party over the weekend. I didn't eat any dinner and drank way more than I'm use to. I blacked out and can't remember anything that happened. My friends told me the next morning that I was making out with this guy that we went to high school with. I couldn't believe it. I absolutely love my boyfriend and would never think to be with another guy while dating him.
I was disgusted with myself and ended up telling my boyfriend the next day. He was obviously furious and upset. He tells me I need to figure out how to fix this and words don't mean anything to him.
He's very against cheating and has already threatened to sleep with another girl. I do not remember a single thing from the night. I need advice. I would like to work this out to either the point of getting back together or just to the point of him not hating me. We are both each other's first loves and he continues to call me a "cheating bitch." I know for a fact this will never happen again.
TL;DR: | got blacked out drunk and cheated on my boyfriend and i don't remember a thing we both don't know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 24 year old male who wants to wait until marriage for sex. Should I be asking random girls out or not?
POST: I realize it's rather uncommon for a guy to be the one in a relationship withholding sex, so it might make things kind of strange. The last relationship I was in ended because she couldn't do the abstinence thing. And in my area where I live, I think my abstinence attitude is almost-nonexistent in people my age. So am I wasting my time in asking a girl out if I don't already know she's okay with abstinence? Or should I look for someone who I already know will be okay with it (like in church groups etc)?
I just don't want to go through a break-up like that again.
TL;DR: | If I am out at the uni, gym, etc, otherwise in public, and meet a nice girl, should I ask her out if I don't already know she'll be okay with abstinence? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to be a suave motherfucker
POST: this is my TIFU, So this happened last summer but the sting of my stupidity is still fresh in my mind Lol. So last summer a family friend came down to stay for the summer, now i had known her for most of my life and had a secret crush on her. Since she was 2 years older i never really told her i had feelings for her. so at the beginning of June she arrived at our house and said she would be staying for a month, i was super pumped and thought "This is my chance!" So fast forward 3 days and i walk in on her working out in our living room, i tried to start a casual convo and asked her why she was working out? I told her she obviously didn't need too. She replied that she wanted her legs to be more toned, now here is where i fucked up. I sarcasticly said "yeah cause the first thing i notice on a girl is her legs?" i said "mmhm dem legs" and made the face from the meme. She said "Ok smart ass, than whats is the first thing you notice on a girl then?" i tried to think of the suavest answer and replied "usually her eyes or hair color." obviously a huge lie. she closes her eyes and says "ok what color are my eyes?" I think well your fucked i decide to go with Hazel, i reply with "err Hazel?" (*bad poker face*) [ she opens her eyes, gives me (this) [ look and i realize that her eyes are blue grey.
TL;DR: | TIFU by trying to be Suave, told girl i noticed her eyes above all else, guessed her eye color wayyyy wrong |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: What's a good way to get a companies attention?
POST: To make a long story short, I sent in a headset to steelseries a month and a half ago for RMA, and haven't gotten anything from them, they told me it would be coming "soon" and that they "just had to generate some more coupon codes", they only have ticket based support, with which I've been waiting at **least** a week after my response for a reply from their team, I tried "escalating" the issue to twitter, by asking them what was going on, they asked for a ticket number and stuff, which i provided, and then i was never gotten back to, I've tweeted to them twice since then, been ignored, and yet i see other people (gaming teams, for example) receiving *multiple* headsets and stuff for free because they're sponsored.
How the hell can they say they can't ship RMAs to **paying** customers but give out free stuff to people they sponsor, it's ridiculous, i want to get my stuff resolved because i do my work from home and *need* my headset to communicate, and i don't want to waste more money buying another headset just because steelseries is being so slow. I'm running out of patience, i can understand small warehouse issues delaying shipping by a few days, maybe even a week, but *a month and a half* is fucking insane, especially considering i had to cover shipping, i spent 30$ to ship my broken headset and get nothing in return.
I've looked into alternate contact methods, and found nothing, i tried their twitter, and gotten the runaround, their ticket based support takes a week+ to respond and a majority of the time they don't even answer the question, they have no phone support, and their email based support doesn't reply either.
TL;DR: | I need a way to bring an issue to a companies attention and i can't figure out where i should post this story to get it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Pets
TITLE: My beagle was recently diagnosed with Diabetes and I need some advice
POST: Hey everyone. This is my first time posting to Pets and I'm excited to become a part of this community.
I have a concern/question that I'd like to voice and I'm wondering if anyone would be able to help.
My 7 year old female beagle has been diagnosed with diabetes. She was on prednisone (a steroid) for an ear infection she had a while ago...and apparently the prednisone triggered a diabetic crisis and she is now full blown diabetic. She was in the hospital for a few days and they stabilized her. She is getting 5 units of insulin twice a day now from me. She's been home for almost 48 years now and I'm not sure if her behaviors have anything to do with the diabetes or the current heat wave (it's about a 100 degrees where I am right now).
She's been drinking a lot of water (which can be the result of either diabetes or the fact that it's really hot out). She's become very finicky with her food. She no longer eats the kibble or bones she once loved. It's pretty much boiled chicken and other types of meats or nothing. She's sleeping a lot...but she's always been sort of lazy. And she's been having a bit of trouble pooping, but I'm attributing that to the new high fiber diet that she needs to get used to.
I know this is long and I apologize dearly...but if someone could shed some light on whether or not I should be paranoid about how she's acting, I would greatly, greatly appreciate it.
TL;DR: | My dog was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and I can't tell if her changes in behavior have to do with her insulin shots not working or the fact that it's a 100 degrees outside. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU By peeing in the dark
POST: So, this happened 5 minutes ago and it was, disgusting.
I needed to pee, so, as a normal human being, I went to the bathroom.
The problem is that the light was broken in this particular bathroom, but instead of going to another bathroom, lazy me decided I would just use this one.
I proceed to unzip my pants and pee, now, as I can't see my Willy, or where I'm peeing, I go on instinct.
I take my leak and notice a strange feeling on my shoe, as if someone is pressing on it. I ignore the feeling and continue. When I'm done I leave the bathroom to find out I peed all over my right shoe and my right knee.
Rip shower I took 30 min before
TL;DR: | Dont pee when the light is not working in the bathroom you are peeing in, It can ruin showers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: excuses for spending the night away from home?
POST: 32 y/o male, i have a live-in girlfriend (30 y/o), and we've been dating for about two years. at her worst, she gets really insecure and nosy. i end up giving her details about what i'm doing in order to appease her, but i don't feel i should have to. i have an old friend coming into town that she doesn't like/feels insecure about. This girl (30 y/o) is a former FWB, but i've also known her for over 10 years - she's a good friend. There's no reasoning with my GF about it, she will not be cool with us hanging out. i know lying is not ideal, but while i want to keep my GF happy, i also have a right to see my friend and not have to be raked over the coals for it. So help me out redditors: what excuses/reasons do you have for spending the night away from home?
TL;DR: | GF is insecure about old FWB, but she's a good friend that i want to hang with - help me brainstorm lie to avoid drama. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24/f] have gone on three dates with a guy [27/m] who has very different morals from me, and has done stuff in the past that I feel uncomfortable with. Can this go anywhere?
POST: I have been on three dates with this guy I met in a bar in my town about a month ago. I like him-- we get along well, he's sweet, he's a gentleman, and we have a lot in common. Plus we have crazy sexual chemistry. However, there's a lot about his past that I don't really feel comfortable with: namely, he has gotten in trouble for some crimes when he was a young adult (it's deeper than that, but PM me for details. He's a Redditor and I don't want him seeing this). He used to do crack with his friends recreationally (i.e. not addicted), he had a really weird job a couple of years ago (again, PM me for details--let's just say this job led him to a breakup with his last girlfriend), and he identifies as polyamorous, but I'm monogamous (i.e. he had multiple serious girlfriends at once). He did say he's not really poly anymore.
He also told me that the last two relationships he had he dated them for about 6 months each, but wasn't emotionally involved. When they broke up with him, he just basically said "it was nice getting to know you!" and went about his merry way. I thought it was weird that he told me this to begin with, considering it was only a third date.
Although he says all of this stuff is in his past, I still don't feel too comfortable dating someone who has been into all of that kind of stuff. It's so weird because he's kinda shy and super nerdy, so I would have pegged him as a fairly regular, clean-cut guy. As for the poly thing, he did say that he most likely wouldn't want to be poly again, but he was vague about this, and he knows I'm not poly. He also hinted that I'm the only girl he's dating right now.
Is it weird that I have these red flags? Like I said, there isn't anything wrong with being poly/doing recreational drugs, but it isn't something I'm into.
TL;DR: | dating someone who's been poly, has done some crimes, used to do drugs recreationally, and had a sketchy job. Red flags, or am I just being picky? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18m] need help with my friend [18m]. He makes extremely vulgar jokes about my girlfriend and it's really getting to me.
POST: So I want to start off by saying it is really hard to detect his sarcasm. I know he does it all to bother me but it's getting ridiculous.
Also I'd like to say that my gf doesn't mind and sometimes goes along with them.
***************
So here's some examples (all said over skype)
"Don't worry man. You get pus and I get mouth. She'll last like 2 minutes before she chokes"
And after I said that was weird
"What are you going to do about it? I'll hold you off with one arm while she sucks me off"
***************
And tons of other stuff to that extent. Some even to my girlfriend only without me there in the chat (she showed me)
So my question is what can I do. When I said it made me uncomfortable he said to just man up and deal with it. Also what can I say to my gf. She is on the edge. She almost sees why I'm upset but not fully.
TL;DR: | my friend says really terrible things to me and my gf as jokes. How do I get him to stop and get my gf to see why I'm upset |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Would Reddit be willing to help me fund a Scholarship for me to attend the International Scholar Laureate Program for Engineering in China? More information inside
POST: Well I was invited to the International Scholar Laureate Program for engineering in China and I have to say it is really expensive and I myself can't afford it all. I know that looking at my history I haven't contributed much to Reddit except for Makeup but I was hoping somebody would "spread the word" and find somebody that was willing to contribute. I know that it is really shameful for me to ask for money to you guys when everybody wants to get "free" money but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. I don't want you to pity me I would like to share with you that I am here on a Visa, I work part-time and go to school full-time. I pay my school out of pocket, that's why I am finishing up my time in the El Paso Community College, I have applied for tons of Scholarships, but they always have a clause where you have to be a Resident or a Citizen and that's where my problem is. I have a 3.8 GPA and I am pursuing a Degree in Electrical Engineering. Anyway,[here] is the link that my school created for me so Programs and or companies help me out and believe me I haven't stopped looking, but I decided to post here even if it may be a long-shot. Thank you for your time in reading about this and if there is any other thing that I can answer for you just let me know and I would be more than gladly will get back to you.
TL;DR: | I am looking for funding for me to attend this program, [here] is the link where people can donate, you can AMA from the program of whatever interests you from this post. Thank you |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[23M] with my SO [21F] of 4 months are coming back together after spending the summer apart, but people have been telling me things that would normally be red flags, but I don't know how to bring them up with her.
POST: So to start things, I was in one big relationship for almost all of my time in High School and thus, didn't learn a shit load of lessons about relationships, other than how to be in a long term relationship. The beginning of relationships confuse me and I've never had to break up with someone, only ever had my heart broken.
My GF is about 300 miles away for the summer and everything has been seemingly fine but some of her friends that I still talk to have been saying worrying things, like that she has been face timing with someone that she used to "casually date" and that she doesn't stop him from hitting on her. She views people hitting on her as harmless and that she wont cheat on me. She mentioned that he texted her but not the face time and knows that stuff bothers me. In addition to this they have been hinting to me that they think our relationship is much more physical than it is emotional and that she doesn't really love me, even though she tell me most days. I asked her "If I wanted to stop having sex when you get back what would you do?" she responded with, "you can stop having sex, I won't, I would just stop having sex with you." Is this break up worthy? I wan't to be with someone who I can really love...
TL;DR: | Gf's friends say that she doesn't love me and that she only wants to be with me for sex. What should i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by swinging a golf ball on a wire
POST: This happened when I was nine or ten, so T=Thatoneday I Fucked Up.
For some reason, me and my friend Jake thought it would be cool to wrap some tape around a golf ball, attach about ten feet of wire to the tape, and then swing the golf ball around our heads.
It makes a cool sound, and ... well, that's pretty much all it does. But to a 9 or 10 year old boy, that was cool enough.
So Jake and I took turns swinging that golf ball around our heads for a while.
But eventually the wire gave out, or the tape ripped, or some other element of our carefully engineered golf ball whirling apparatus had a structural failure. The ball, free from its wire tether, continued in a straight line at a velocity (v) equal to the radius (r) of its former bound circle times its former angular velocity (ω). Or in other words: a whole lot faster than you'd think. Unless you'd studied military history or the bible and knew about slings, something Jake and I had totally forgotten to consider.
I still remember seeing Jake standing there, open-mouthed, as that golf ball barrelled toward him at high velocity. It smashed into his face, spraying blood everywhere. He dropped like he'd been shot, and then before I could even get to him he stood up and ran into the house holding his hand in front of his face.
A minute later, his dad ran out of the house with Jake over his shoulder, strapped Jake in the car, and screeched out of the driveway.
At age 10, Jake lost all four adult incisors and had to wear partial dentures for as long as I knew him. He probably still does to this day. Our families remained friends, and his dad didn't blame me for what happened. But any time we had a block party on our street and they served corn on the cob, Jake would shoot me the nastiest look.
TL;DR: | Me & my friend tied a golf ball to a wire and swung it around like idiots. It broke, hit my friend in the face, and sent him to the hospital and broke his face & teeth. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 M] got a text from my girlfriend [18 F] if 9 months breaking up with me.
POST: So last night, I got out of my night class at school, and I called her on the phone to talk as I normally do. Things seemed a little off but I thought nothing of it. Then, I got home and she said she texted me she was getting ready for bed at her dorm (we go to different schools). And said she didn't want me to visit this weekend, she wanted her friend to come first to have alone time and talk and have me come up Sunday when I get out of work.
She usually will talk to me about problems she's having so I start prodding asking what's wrong. It's about 11pm at this point and she starts saying that she doesn't know, college is hitting her hard right now and she needs to figure out her life.
So I figured you was still having a hard time with the stress and workload and sent her a message about that, and she said no, that wasn't it. She proceeds to say that she doesn't want a relationship like ours, we are at different points in our life, and that she loves me and she is happy with where we are but wants someone she can see all the time and be there, not someone who can only visit 2 days a week.
Further talking she says that it has nothing to do with me and she doesn't know what to do, but wants us to break up, and she doesn't know if she'll regret it yet, and that she won't know how she feels until a day or weeks from now. She wants to get the full college experience and be uninhibited as she puts it. She also said she has been thinking about it for days and that she couldn't handle the physical and emotional stress anymore.
I just don't know what to do here. Just this morning she said she couldn't wait for me to visit this weekend, and now I get this. She still asked if I would come visit Sunday or Monday to talk but for now I said I didn't know and that it would hurt to visit her with things being so different so soon.
I just don't know what to do, any advice anyone!? I want her back and I feel that this just doesn't seem right.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me via text saying she wants get the full college experience, she still loves me but doesn't know what she wants. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the best way to keep track of productivity?
POST: Hello Reddit:
I work for a startup where we install software to blue-collar companies. The culture of the place is akin to a ticket broker's office where the guys here like to hustle and make sales. We've licensed some software and the company has brought in technical types like me.
In anticipation of growing the company, the Boss wants to find a way to set up a system comparable to a lawyer's billable hours. He says he's not interested in micromanaging and tracking our day, but interested in allocating our time spent on a project properly to each client so we can track the productivity of our work.
The engineer in me is thrilled to create a new unit of measure. We do a variety of tasks that may or may not take up an hour, and so this new unit of measure measures effort and not time. Additionally, being a good boss, he'll likely squeeze out every penny he can from us though I'd hate to think of this as an adversarial process.
My Boss admits that the worth of a piece of effort is worth as much as our customers are willing to pay and that that same piece of effort may take less and less time as we move up the learning curve.
Things I do include graphic design, making presentations, taking phone calls, managing the phone system, etc, and I have the option to charge different parts of the company. Other people in my team configure the software, set-up e-mail marketing campaigns and manage salespeople, etc.
So reddit: if you owned your own business, what's a good measure of effort?
Everyone in my office likes sports, so I ask all you to consider the way we track human performance in that realm: what is the price of a layup, a caught interception, etc?
TL;DR: | I work for a startup and my Boss wants to come up with a system to track our efforts so that he can measure and charge customers. Has any of you benefited from a good system with clear units of measure? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [21M] stay with my girlfriend [19F] after she deleted text messages in front of me from guy friends?
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months now and for the most part it is great, we love each other very much and get along like 2 peas in a pod most of the time.
However we both have trust issues/jealousy which often times lead to arguments for example after a night out of drinking and me becoming suspicious of her cheating I asked if i could see her texts messages. She agreed but just before showing me deleted text messages from 3 guys who she says are her friends right in front of my face before giving me the phone.
When I asked why she did this she explained that she panicked and didn't want to get into another argument and make me jealous that she was talking to guy friends.
I now feel as though I can't trust her as she has hidden the texts from me and I will never truly know what they now and do not know whether I should stay with this girl or not. She tells me often about how much she loves me and does nice things for me, but maybe I am too jealous.
She has a lot of guy friends and I admit I get jealous when she talks to them, and am always suspicious and worried she will cheat.
This is causing me loads of stress as it's hard to stop thinking about once I get into the mindset. She regrets doing it now and swears I have nothing to worry about.
What should I do guys? Any advice would be much appreciated I really need it.
TL;DR: | [21M] been with [19F] for 6 months, feel as though I can't trust her after she deleted text messages from her guy friends in front of me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Newly single for first time in years how do not mess up?
POST: Hey I'm a 19 yr F who just went through my first breakup with my first ever bf who I was with for many years. We broke up because quite simply I wasn't ready for sex yet. I don't know why but I never felt the spark that said I was ready for this with him, I don't blame him for leaving at all, I'll do it when I'm ready and not before them. We were just very different people. He made me feel my position was a handicap and there are 0 guys out there that would accept me, is that true? How do i even begin to start again and how do I find a good one? and ultra religious is cheating. I'm super athletic and love learning and I'm one of those people that's up for anything.
TL;DR: | Out of first ever relationship (mny yrs) because wsn't ready for sex, understand why broke up but don't know how to start over, feel handicapped |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my boyfriend [26] for 19 months, should I let him have sex with a prostitute?
POST: Been with my boyfriend for 19 months. We met while both working abroad. A month into our relationship I got pregnant - followed by an abortion. It was and is tough, but it has really brought us together. We want to spend our lives together and settle down in a few years.
In the meantime, we are living in countries 1hr20 away - saving up money until we can live together. We see each other every few weeks.
One issue - my boyfriend has only properly had sex with me. I was quite promiscuous growing up and slept with quite a few guys, back in the day. Sometimes such topics come up and it makes him wonder what it is like to put it in other girls.
We have discussed breaking up so he can explore as he needs to, but we always come back to that we want to be together. I said we could do threesomes in the future and with this he would be happy. In the meantime, the plan is he can fuck a prostitute to see how it feels. Maybe after it will be out of his system, perhaps he will realise he wants more - in this case, our relationship may have to change.
Anybody been in a similar situation? Any thoughts?
TL;DR: | in an LDR, want to stay together. I'm the only girl he has fucked - should I let him fuck a prostitute to release his urges? |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: 16, F, depressed skinny-fat vegetarian in need of advice.
POST: Backstory: I was pure skin and bones my whole life, until about two years ago, when the stress of dealing with an alcoholic parent triggered an intense episode of depression. I attempted to numb myself by obsessively over-eating, and watched the number on the scale slowly crawl upwards as months went by and the binging continued.
I'm 16 now. 5'3", ~115 lbs. Still stressed, still a compulsive over-eater. I recognize that my weight sounds normal for my height/age, but I'm INCREDIBLY small-boned, and I basically have no muscle mass; I'm chubby. And I want to lose this fat.
I've been lurking on r/loseit for about six months now. I know about keto, I know that my 3-5 jogging sessions every week will help me get fit but probably won't aid me much in terms of burning calories, I never drink soda or juice, and I always track my calories... but I can't maintain a caloric deficit.
It's not a hunger issue; if I only eat when I'm hungry, I'll probably only consume ~1000 calories a day. I just don't get hungry often. But I constantly crave food. I get antsy if I don't have something to snack on, and I push myself to eat until I feel like I'm going to vomit. I can't get through more than two days of healthy eating. To top it all off, I've been a vegetarian for three years, and I can't cook, so making healthy dishes is incredibly difficult. My father refuses to take my health goals seriously, because he fears that I'm only going to send myself spiraling into depression if I start worrying about my weight.
TL;DR: | Stress drives me to over-eat nearly every day, and, although I know almost everything there is to know about HOW to lose weight, I don't know how to motivate myself to maintain a healthy lifestyle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: A or B?
POST: I will try to keep this as brief as possible but it probably won't be even though long posts get less readers. Also, I'm 16 but please don't down vote me to oblivion.
There are 2 girls in my life (no, I'm not cheating on them). I will refer to them as A and B for the sake of simplicity.
This summer I essentially fell in love with A. She's physically my ideal girl and we get along very well. Unfortunately never got the nerve to ask her out on a date. We hung out, but always as friends. I wrote her letters while she was at camp and she wrote me back and I genuinely thought she was interested. The rest of the summer was more or less the same. Just friends. Despite that everyone would ask me if we were a thing and tell me to ask her out and how cute we would be. As one person retorted, "your babies would be beautiful."
School started and we had one class together. I flirted, walked her to class did everything I could. Regardless, she lost some personality traits I adored about her. She even seemed to be flirting with one of my better friends. Still, I asked her to homecoming. She said she had to decide whether or not she was going at all and eventually texted me a huge thing about how she would go with me but just as friends. I, stupidly, said yes and it was miserable. I felt like I couldn't do anything without her thinking I was coming on to her.
Fall break. I hangout with my cross country team every day of the week. I started noticing the new girl on the team, B. She is pretty by most standards, extremely nice, and funny. Extremely like able but not necessarily my type. Stupidly, I essentially led her on all fall break and I now know for a fact she likes me. Hard to say whether or not I like her.
But now that schools back A seems less attractive and B seems more.I've spent these last few days in hopeless frustration & agony. ISo, Reddit, should I pursue A even further and try to get her to like me? Or should I go for something new aka B? Or should I just give up hope all together...
TL;DR: | liked a girl but she didn't like me. Kind of like a different girl but not sure which one to chase. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: My Girlfriend (22) was sexually assaulted and I need advice on having follow up conversations and generally dealing with this.
POST: My Girlfriend was assaulted about two months ago. We're both in college and she does student government work so she goes to monthly conferences with students from all over the state. She had previously had a relationship with one of the other students (not exclusive) and he was the one that assaulted her.
I've tried to be as supportive as possible (i.e. Rape Crisis advising/ generally being there for her and letting her know I believe her and still love her). She hasn't felt like she's in a good enough place emotionally to press charges but she has confided in some very close friends that attend the same conferences to keep her safe.
The problem is the vast differences in how we're dealing with this. In all honesty, I lost my temper in a way that made her focus on me instead of getting, better when she told me. The strange thing is that she seems to be taking this completely in stride. I should be ecstatic that she's not completely devastated but she's so nonchalant that it's off-putting.
The part that I struggle with the most is that she occasionally still talks to the guy. At first she confronted him and wanted an explanation, but now they carry on their half-work, half-friend dynamic that they had before. This would probably be the part where people get doubtful of her story but she's told so many of their mutual friends/colleagues and has been attending therapy so it's hard for me to think that she's lying.
Needless to say this whole thing is fucking with my confidence in a relationship that I see a bright future in. I want to talk to her about my concerns but all of the advice I've gotten from professionals has said to be supportive and not let her think that I doubt her. Any advice on starting and holding conversations or just dealing with sexual assault in general would be greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend sexually assaulted. I've tried being cool and following professional advice but she's acting very differently than how anybody's said she might. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my friend [21 M], he's in a very unhealthy relationship don't know if it's my place to step in
POST: Hey reddit, long time lurker here! Using a throwaway just in case anybody finds it
I've been friends him since grade 7. We've always been in the same friend group and we talk but are not very close. However, he recently got in a relationship with the girl he's been crushing on for 5 years. She finally agreed to date him after him chasing her for so long and at first we were really happy.
Slowly, we realized how toxic the relationship was. She is always demanding him for things that are out of his capability. For example, she'd be mad at him for not spending time with him because he had an event. She asks him to do her projects for her to a point where it's affecting his work. He is missing sleep and is constantly getting yelled at by her for little things that others would find ridiculous.
The problem is, he's been in love with the girl for so long and she's his first everything. I don't know if I should interrupt anything and even if I do tell him it's toxic he won't listen.
So reddit, how can I help my friend get out of this toxic relationship?
TL;DR: | friend is in extremely toxic relationship with a girl and I don't know if I should help him and how to help him |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21/M] and my girlfriend [21/F] of 6 months are breaking up at graduation, and I don't know how I'll cope.
POST: My girlfriend and I are both graduating from undergrad in May. We've known each other since freshman year, but we didn't hook up until a party at the beginning of this year. After that we started hooking up fairly regularly. Neither of us were looking for a relationship at first. I'd only been in one serious relationship before and I thought it would be a bad idea to start another one during senior year. After a few months, however, I knew I wanted to date this girl. We were both looking for work abroad at the time and decided that travelling would make it easier for us to break up and move on after graduation.
We were both lucky enough to land our dream jobs, hers in East Asia and mine in West Africa. I am unbelievably excited to start my job, and I wouldn't give it up for anything. I also would never ask my girlfriend to pass up on her opportunity, either (not that she ever would, lol). But I'm falling so hard for her that it hurts. She is smart, sexy, clever, and just the right amount of goofy. We have the best sexual chemistry I've experienced. She has spent the last four days across the country and I miss her terribly. We are going on a camping trip together right after graduating, and that is last time I will see her until... who knows.
Sometimes I feel like I can't let myself get any more attached because I'm setting myself up for more heartbreak. But then I think that we have less than two months left together, so why hold back? It'll hurt regardless, right?
TL;DR: | I have fallen head over heels for my girlfriend, but we have already agreed to break up at graduation. I'm not sure how much more attached I should get. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I had a dream about one of my friends. What does it mean?
POST: About a year ago, I spent a night out with my friends. One in particular, I spent a lot of time talking with, even though I didn't really know her that well. I won't say her real name so let's say her name is Amelia. Anyway, afterwards, I go home and fall asleep and I have this dream. In this dream, I wake up in my own bed, but Amelia is standing right next to my bed. As soon as I realize this she moves closer and kisses me on the lips, passionately. At this point I am in utter bliss. Sadly, it's at this point that I wake up, wondering what the hell that was about. Ever since that night I've been unable to forget about it. I've ended up developing a crush for her (a crush which I don't even know is rational or not). I've talked to a few of my friends about this. Most are about as clueless as I am. However, one of my friends (who happened to read about this is a psych class) said that the dream most likely has more to do with the emotion attached to the dream than the face. Still, I'm clueless as ever about what to do. Any help?
TL;DR: | Had a dream were I kissed one of my friends and enjoyed it. What does it mean and what do I do about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [16F] girlfriend [15F] of less than a month wants to out me to her homophobic mother [50sF] who also works at our school.
POST: Hi- so I'm a gay teenager at an all-girls school. I'm only out to my friends and 2 of my sisters, no one else. I'm not in a good position to tell anyone else at this point.
Me and my girlfriend started dating about 3 weeks ago. I'd been pursuing her for a few months, and she finally warmed up to me. It was awesome, things were great, etc.
The issue is, she suddenly told me today that she wants to tell her mom. Okay, whatever, that'd be cool- except her mom's a conservative Christian. And she works at our school. She's the assistant to the Head of School, and basically manages ALL of the dirty work when it comes to school affairs. My girlfriend has told me before that she's been out to her mom since she was 14, so the mother clearly isn't the kick-you-out-of-the-house type, but she thinks being gay is wrong and bad and dirty.
I don't want her mother to know. I'm very uncomfortable with all this. And we've only been dating for a few weeks! I could understand this if it was a year or something, but I know we're nowhere close to that serious yet and that this is a bad idea. I have voiced this to her in very clear terms, and she told me that if I cared at all about her I'd want to be "proud of what we were."
This whole situation is just really bizarre to me. I do like her a lot and would be happy if we could work this out, so any suggestions?
TL;DR: | Short-term GF wants to tell her proud Southern mama that I'm a huge lesbian, I am not okay with this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Long distance relationship worries, between me [18 M] and my Girlfriend [17 F] of 2 years.
POST: So with university offers arriving, my girlfriend of 2 years (very serious, to the point that we and many of our friends think that we might get engaged, and married one day) has to move around 600+ kilometres away from me to a completely new state and uni to study her chosen degree.
I feel really really confident we'll make it. We're a strong couple, and we always manage (and have managed) the rest of the world around us - i mean, with pretty strict parents, we managed to get together and make this relationship happen in year 12, amidst exams and work.
But I have a really big nagging doubt: will she cheat on me? I know that she's not the type of person to do so. In fact… in these past 2 years she's made me feel like the luckiest guy on earth by making sure i never felt unhappy about anything she did, and just… managing my insecurities. But I know also that girls have needs, and… well… with her 600 kilometres away, visiting basically only once every 2 months, maybe she just won't be able to manage it? Like… I often read stories about breakups happening because one of the partners is just not getting enough.
I doubt that anything will happen as a result of us not talking enough or drifting apart. We've skyped together every night for 1+ hours for the last 2 years without fail, and on days where we couldn't, we've texted/called. So I feel like talking isn't going to be what's going to hurt us.
TL;DR: | Any advice for a strong, but young couple to manage a long distance relationship lasting maybe for a few (5-ish) years? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I 23f need teeth implants, and my mom [45f] keeps hurting my feelings about it.
POST: I need teeth implants. my teeth look like crap. My dad and I have the same unknown condition. (He told me what we had before but can't remember the name.) His teeth were almost completely gone and what he did have were really rotted by the time he was in his late 40's and finally got implants in his late 40's.
I hate my teeth and always do a closed mouth smile. I wish it wasn't like this. I can't afford them, and don't know of an insurance company that will cover them or half cover them. this sucks. I really want my teeth fixed and keeps bringing the subject up.
TL;DR: | my mom keeps bringing up the subject about my teeth and wish she would stop. her comments hurt and we keep fighting about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: She[22f] has been cheating on me [22m] since the beginning of our relationship. I was warned via her "crazy ex boyfriend" but ignored it all...
POST: Me 22. She 22. 4 months. I think I'm about to puke.
Just found out this morning, via Facebook message containing undeniable proof. I received warnings from some random guy on Facebook a while back, and she told me he was just crazy, and I bought everything.
I thought we were in a relationship, turns out I was some side to her other boyfriend who she'd been seeing for a year. The other guy messaged me this morning, claiming he didn't know either.
I'm just afraid I'm never going to be able to trust another woman. I was already an insecure guy.
Please help.
TL;DR: | Girl has been cheating on me since we started the relationship, I don't even think it's really hit me yet, but I'm gonna need some support. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] Girlfriend [21F] of 7 months, GF kissed a coworker at firms party and then lied about it to my face
POST: Background: Dated 7 months known each other couple months before things got serious. Just moved in with each other few weeks ago. Both are college students she on her 2nd year, me graduating this year.
GF was at her firms summer party(orsomethinglikehat?) on a weekend. So free booze, food that kind of stuff. I think it was her first "grown up" company sponsored party of that kind. Anyway she was wasted, but shes an experienced drinker so nothing new there. She hadnt had a drink in awhile though. GF Came home late, around 4AM and pretty much passed out on our couch. Allthough I say shes an experienced drinker, this isnt something I have ever seen her do.
She was acting very wierd the next day, which got me a bit suspicious. Not going to go details here, but in the evening I asked if theres something wrong. She choked up and was even more wierd, so I straight up accused her of something happening the other night. She broke down crying and denied anything being wrong and put it all on the fact that shes hungover. I believed this and went on to drink with friends that night.
When I got home a bit drunk and after talking with a acquintance who was at the same party as the GF was the other night, I decided to check her messages. This is something I most definitely should not have done, but I found messages from a guy saying something about making out.
So I confronted her about it few days later thinking I will give her some time to tell her myself. This time she broke down crying and was visibly upset and remorseful, and I believe her.
If she would have just confessed it before/or when I asked her about it the first time, this would have been all right. Shit happens and we have a good thing going on, and I would have forgave her already.
Biggest problem: She straight up lied to my face when I first asked her about it. Im not sure I can trust her anymore.
Any thought on this?
TL;DR: | GF kissed another guy drunk. When asked about it next day, lied to my face. Found out truth later. Not sure if I can trust her anymore |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I live in a 'bad' neighborhood and am afraid I might have started something...
POST: So, /r/askreddit, I was getting out of my car, I had just driven home with my mom, and as I'm locking the door and about to cross this street, I hear this car tearing down the road. We like on a park with lots of kids and animals, one of the few decent streets where I live. Anyway, I was about to cross, but instead I stand in the road, until the guy has to slow down not to hit me.
He had been going way over, and my dad used to do this kind of thing all the time when I was younger. After he stops I walk towards my hours with my mom, and when I look back he's still there and has rolled down his window and has this "wtf bro?" face on. My mom, who's sick and losing her voice, tries to yell at him that it's a 30 (km) zone. I have to yell it for her and me and the guy end up arguing for all of maybe 30 seconds. Not to judge, but the kind of car he was driving and the kind of guy he looked like, couple with the fact that he was speeding, lead me to worry that he could be back later to tag up my house or worse, hurt my little brother or my mom or something. It's not unheard of in the kind of neighborhood I live in, and I definitely regret doing it, but as a 17 year old guy, sometimes I have trouble catching myself before I go and do something stupid. Any ideas on what to do in the event that something does happen? Just last year 5 guys broke into our window upstairs, our next door neighbor got their door kicked in not long ago, I'm scared for my family.
TL;DR: | I confronted an unsavory driver, might be the target of violence/vandalism in my equally unsavory 'hood. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I tell my friends that I don't feel like carting them around?
POST: Recently, one of my friends moved from living a few blocks away to about 10 miles away. He's almost 21 years old, he doesn't have his driver's license, so obviously I'm the one who does all the driving, and I'm kinda getting tired of it. He's definitely one of my closest friends, and I value the friendship, but he's been putting off getting his license since we were 16. He does throw me gas money occasionally, so it could be worse, but driving to his house and then driving around really gets annoying after a while.
Another one of my friends has his license, but he can't take care of a vehicle to save his life, so he doesn't have a car anymore. (Running straight water instead of antifreeze in a Michigan winter is not a good idea). Again, if we want to hang out, I get to drive him around. (He never throws me gas money because he's always broke.)
Yet ANOTHER of my friends has his license and a car, but he "never has gas" because he spends all his money on weed. Same as the previous two, except he never gives me gas money. (He tried offering me weed *once*, and I declined). He and Friend #2 are usually together, so it's a package deal.
Basically, I've just gotten sick of having to tote people around because I have a car. I suggest walking somewhere, and they generally look at me like I'm retarded.
So,
TL;DR: | Friends in 3 different situations are generally freeloading on my ride-giving abilities and I'm tired of it. How do I tell them I'm fed up? |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: I know I'm worth more than I'm making. How do I ask for a raise?
POST: Hi, hope I'm posting in the right sub. If not, please direct me to the correct one.
I have been working in my medical office, which is a corporation, for 7 years. I started out with simple tasks, i.e. scanning documents, organizing charts, etc. About 5 years ago, I was given more responsibility. Currently, my job title is Medical Assistant and the Medical Records Department (I say department, but I am the only person that handles medical records in my office.) On top of that, I am in charge of handling other tasks in the office, such as opening the mail, sorting through it and making sure each document goes to the proper department, and other smaller tasks my manager will ask me to take care of.
My job is stressful, the biggest factor being that I am both a Medical Assistant and the Records Department. While it's stressful, I enjoy what I do and perform each aspect to the best of my ability. I arrive to work 15 minutes early every day, am ready to start working the moment I arrive, and have not had a single bad remark mentioned about me.
As much as I enjoy my job, I know that I am worth more than I am making. I am 25 years old, I'm focusing more on making sure I can provide for myself and my future family. Also, I am aware that, if I decided to leave my current position, the company would have to hire at least 2 full time workers to handle the work I do.
So I'm ready to ask for a raise. However, from other coworkers experience, I know my manage will not help. She has told a few coworkers "the company does not like giving out raises", "the company is broke", etc. Whether that's true or not, I still want to inquire about a raise. If they are not able to give me a raise, I may have to start looking for another job. But I don't want to start looking if there is a possibility of getting a raise.
Basically, how do I ask for a raise in a professional manner? Also, how do I make sure that my manager makes sure A. my request is brought to attention or B. does not harm my chance of receiving a raise?
TL;DR: | Been working for the company for 7 years doing multiple jobs, need a raise, how do I ask for one and how do I make sure my manager doesn't get in the way? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to be a "green" parent.
POST: We use cloth diapers at our house because they are very cheap to use and are very good for the environment.
Anyways, my daughter had a particularly nasty poop and my hilljack engineered toilet sprayer just wasn't going to get it off the diaper. So, I did the sensible thing and let the diaper soak in the water in order to make it easier to get the poop off later.
Fast forward to about 30 minutes ago, not thinking I go into the bathroom and take the biggest poop of my life, at least the biggest poop of the day.
I finish dropping the Browns off at the Superbowl, and I wipe and flush like normal when it hits me, like poop covered lightning bolt, I just flushed a cloth diaper into the toilet. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
So I spent the next 30 minutes fishing my poop out of the bowl, and donning my rubber cleaning gloves and go wrist deep into the drain fishing for a diaper that may not be there anymore.
Well, I've got all the time in the world to think about my life, while noodling for a cloth diaper.
TL;DR: | flushed a cloth diaper, now wrist-deep in shit-water, trying to figure out where I'm going in this life. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by talking to my Kurdish barber
POST: So a bit of context. I'm a 17 year old guy living in south west England, far away from the many troubles of the world. I would say that I'm a bit socially awkward when it comes to strangers so going to the barbers always brings out a bit of the old anxiety in me...
Not 24 hours ago I had just finished college for the day, I decided to buy a coffee on the way home and whilst doing so it struck me that I should get my unkempt poofy hair cut for the summer. I walked 20 metres or so to the barbers and was immediately ushered over to one of the chairs by a cheery guy. I noticed that he looked a bit Arabic and spoke with a strong accent that I couldn't pinpoint.
The regular barber chat ensues and we begin to talk about girlfriends. I thought this was a bit forward but I didn't really mind. He mentions how he can't find anyone because of his poor English. I ask where he is from originally and he says Kurdistan, thanks to a Kurdish refugee coming to my high school to talk about his experiences, I know a little about this area of the world. I say something about ISIS and what a great thing the PRK? are doing fighting ISIS and we talk about how the Kurds deserve independence for their part in the conflict.
Here's where I FU. I asked him if he has any family back home. He says yes, and casually mentions how his cousin was killed 2 weeks ago fighting against ISIS. At this point the awkwardness kicks in and I just say nothing. I couldn't think of anything to say so I just sat there in complete silence whilst this guy just told me how his cousin was just killed. It really took me aback and now I feel sorry for the guy because he probably thought I didn't care.
I managed to mumble a "cheers mate" on the way out but now I've spent the whole evening thinking about this barber I might have made feel terrible.
TL;DR: | talked to Kurdish barber about homeland, casually mentions dead cousin, seize up, awkwardness ensues, feel bad. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Feeling threatened by a new sketchy ex-convinct guy in a MF open exclusive relationship long-distance (m25, f22, m36)
POST: We've been long distance for 3-4 years, met a few times. We agreed we can be in an open exclusive relationship, meaning you can sleep with others, date, but not love love them or let them reduce the quality or quantity of time spent together.
I'm 25, she's 22. I'm in Canada, she's in the States.
So she met this guy online 8 years ago, and never met him until today. He's 36, lives 1000 miles away. His mom ratted him to the cops for weed possession so he got in jail for a month and when he got out his mom essentially kicked him out of his house. So he messages my girl and he's like: "Well i have nowhere to go, would you like to meet me" so he does that. I'm really sketched out. He claims he's thinking about where to stay, what state to move to.
My girlfriend is highly promiscuous, lonely and very trusting, so they're fucking and when she talks to me about him her voice shows feelings for him. I'm really annoyed because i don't think this is a good idea, and i told her why, and to be careful and not to give him money. He's basically staying at a hotel for the past week and they spend the day together after her work. We have good communication and she's honest with me. So yeah, sketched out by this guy, even though she claims he is a nice guy and that she's been chatting with him for years.
Also I'm at a loss how to remain her primary lover. I told her to tell whoever she dates that she's in a relationship with me, i haven't asked her if she told this guy yet. Is it a reasonable thing to ask, or is it a good way to go about it?
TL;DR: | What can i do when my significant other is getting involved with a red flag person? How to structure an open relationship in a way that allows her to see other people, but not be replaced as her favorite lover? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My "boyfriend" [28/M] and I [25/M] eloped two years ago, without telling our parents [50s/60s]...
POST: After being together for ~1.5? years, my boyfriend and I decided to get married. We had many reasons, and are still very much in love. We eloped two years ago, on a trip out of state (as same-sex marriage was illegal in our state at the time), with two of our friends as witnesses.
We had always planned on having another "wedding," with our families and friends... but the reality of planning one and financing one has hit us hard at this point. We have been budgeting, saving, etc., but I'm beginning to find it very hard to rationalizing spending so much money on this experience. Both of our families live far away, and his family is much bigger than mine, so we were intending to have a wedding in his hometown.
Obviously one solution is to go ahead with our plan, but to have a budget wedding. I don't want to do this, because my family has to fly so far for it, and to me, it wouldn't be the wedding that I wanted to have.
My boyfriend and I have been talking it over, and we're beginning to come to the consensus that we need to bite the bullet and tell our families. We have told some of our siblings, and most of our close friends, but I'm afraid that my parents (especially my mom) will be hurt that we chose to elope, and went so long without telling them.
So, how should we proceed with telling our parents or otherwise making this a better situation?
TL;DR: | Eloped two years ago, didn't tell parents, planned to have second "wedding." We don't want to do that any more, how do we tell our parents/proceed? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [27 M] have decided that I have no clue how to interpret girls, or how to decide if they are too young
POST: Today was my first day back at work at a restaurant that I worked at for a while, but I took a few month break from. There was a girl that works there that is absolutely gorgeous, but I have no clue how to interpret anything that happened tonight, or if she is too young. I have a long history of not realizing a girl is really flirting with me, so I want to check with reddit... even though I realize that these are through my own biased eyes. Anyway on with the details:
I had never met her before tonight as she is newer, and she seemed really interested in knowing about me. She asked me quite a few questions throughout the night. She laughed and giggled a lot, but people tend to do that around me (I try to keep things pretty light-hearted). I am not a comedian kind of funny, but giggles usually happen for some reason. Later that night I was walking to the front with another girl near me and she jokingly said something like "back off he's my friend!" to the other girl. I caught her staring at me, maybe... she seemed to be kind of zoned out and maybe just happened to be looking at me when it happened. She also made a comment that I have nice big eyes. Anyway, that is the jist of the first night.
My other question is if there is a too young? She looks pretty young, like 18 or 19. I am not too sure about her maturity, but I am also not sure if I should be looking into a relationship at all since I am moving in about 6 months. At the same time though, I am still a virgin. I am not in a rush to lose it, but I wonder if maybe it is time anyway.
TL;DR: | Met a new girl at work, she seems interested in me but I am not sure how to interpret. Also how young is too young? Is it OK to look into it being a more physical relationship? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by just adding my few cents
POST: It happend a week ago. It was the most awkward situation that I can remember.
So the day started great and I randomly met one of my old school teachers. We had a nice talk and we will meet in a week for coffee. I really liked him back in school and the coincidence hyped me, I was really happy about it. I walked to the bus station and on my way I got thirsty and ordered a coca cola at a small fast food kind of shop. While I did this, I noticed a women outside, she was standing there, dirty clothes and a cup in her hand. I was like yeah, the universe provided me a nice day, let's give something back and help that beggar. I got 1€ back and went straight to her with a dumb, stupid, innocent grin on my face. She smiled back. Damn I'm a nice guy. Heaven awaits me.
Then my tifu happens. As I drop my coin, the same moment , I saw that there was coffee in her cup. She was standing there, with a coffee in her hand. And I dropped a coin into it, smiling at her.
She looked at me as if I killed her cat and her dog at once. I immediatly turned around, almost running away from her. I'm 22 just for your info since this reaction of me would be appropiate for a 12 years old.
Since then I take a other way home..
TL;DR: | I went maximum disrespect bc I dropped 1€ into the cup of a beggar which was filled with fresh coffee at that point. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Should I quit my coop job (that's making me unhappy) and risk getting poor reference?
POST: I started work at this place over the summer and since then I absolutely hate it. The work they give me is mind numbing. Im not crazy about the people here but they're okay to talk to. But get this- I spend an hour commuting in the morning and an hour and a half in the evening. Its mentally exhausting. I know for sure I don't want to work here when I graduate. I only get one coop term tho(a year) so I was thinking should I quit and go somewhere else in hopes of discovering a job I actually like? Ive already gone to a few interviews so if i get an offer shud i quit this job and take it? Here's the real problem tho. For the past 7ish months I haven't been doing much now my manager is giving me the ropes on this huge project that were going to start in the new year( he hired me for this project) . I know a lot about this project and its cool but I can live without experiencing it. I'd rather experience work in a different sector all together ( I work in gov right now and its boring af). This year is the only chance I get to experiment with diff jobs. I also don't want to ruin my time spent here by burning bridges when I leave. I still want to be able to use my boss as a reference. Also the next coop student is coming in the summer cuz that's when I was supposed to finish. So they'll have noone for about 4 months. They cud prob find someone else if they really needed tho but it would be very cumbersome. Give me advice pls
TL;DR: | how do I quit my job (that's causing me unneeded stress and unhappiness) without turning my manager against me and still be able to use him as a reference in the future? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M/25] have been hanging out with a single mom [F/30] (no strings) for several months. Now she's stuck in my head.
POST: So, once or twice a week for the last several months we get together and have some fun. She usually gets a sitter or has her folks look after the little one, so my interaction with him has been practically non-existent. Everything was going smoothly until a few weeks ago when she was out of town and we didn't talk for a few days. It was then I realized that I was in too deep, and had started to fall for her. She's attractive, intelligent, and has a killer smile.
Everything I want to do with my life is inconsistent with having a small child to look after, so I don't see any practical way that we can be 'together'. I feel it would be unfair to the child to have a guy around, but not be able to be a father figure. I also know zilch about children and their psychology.
Here's where I need your input reddit: should I turn tail and run, try to maintain, or see just how far down the rabbit hole goes...?
TL;DR: | Occasional rendezvous have lead to my unfortunate infatuation with a single mother, with whom I am reluctant to get serious with because her child and my aspirations clash. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: You've Found Me
POST: Sorry to clutter up this subreddit, but I think what I have to say sort of fits here and I don't know of any place it fits better, also this is a new account because I no longer feel secure about using my old one for all the things I like to do and, after all, this is a place for just getting it off your chest, not confrontation.
This is a message to you-know-who-you-are. What I do on Reddit is my business and my business alone. Just because you know my username doesn't mean you have any real right to look into my business, that's the equivalent of finding someone's address and then deciding that you might as well creep through their mail, just to get to know them a little better. As I'm sure you've already seen, I have nothing to hide, but as we all know having nothing to hide does not mean having nothing to fear. Personal business is personal business, plain and simple, whether you have anything to hide or not. Kindly bugger off and leave my account be.
TL;DR: | Don't start stalking me and digging through my history just because you've found my account. Kindly fuck off and all that. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30M] noticed my GF[25F] of 7 months, stopped posting pics of us on social media
POST: She's the first woman I've dated that posts pics daily, usually 2-3, on social media. When we go places or to events, she will post them of us, her friends, etc. She takes them via Instagram and shares them to Facebook immediately as well.
Here's my problem. I have noticed as of about 5 weeks ago, she stopped sharing pics of us to FB. She still posts her pics and her friends to all platforms, but the pics of me and her are limited to Instagram. There's been 7 or 8 in the past month that she didn't "share" to facebook. Also, she didn't "allow on timeline" 2 different pics I posted of us on facebook the past few weeks. I ran this by my roommate and he agreed it is weird and should be a red flag.
Now, I feel silly even bringing this up, but I've never dealt with this type of thing before. When we first started dating she was adamant about it, and wanted me to post our pics as well to all platforms (silly and redundant IMO) but it was what she wanted so I gave it to her. She's been a model and pageant girl type her whole life, so she's obviously into pictures of herself all dressed up (high maintenance, indeed).
Side note: we are not listed as dating or together on FB.
I feel she's hiding me from somebody or something due to the sudden change in behavior, possibly downplaying our relationship. Am I cool to bring this up or is it silly/paranoid/irrational? I've always been on social networks but never took them seriously. Her and all her friends are extremely into it.
TL;DR: | Girfriend stopped posting pics of us on facebook and it is obvious to others. I think she's hiding me or downplaying our relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, could you help a cancer survivor's dream come true?
POST: Hi, long time lurker, first time poster here. I come, not for myself, but on behalf of a close friend of mine.
**The Story**
My friend, Kevin Mcguire was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 13. At the time we both played middleschool basketball together, and it came as a shock. He never once complained during his struggle. His treatments were brutal, and in 2010, he had beaten his disease. I still remember the happiness we all felt attending his remission party.
And so, things were fantastic for Kevin for these last couple of years. We've had fun at seniors, and despite not being his closest friend, I can still call him a buddy, and a teammate in Winter and Spring Track
Alas, things turned for the worst, about a couple weeks ago, Kevin relapsed. Though they found the cancer quickly, he's still an 18-year old senior who's dealing with leukemia for the second time. Even worse, his medicine methotrexate, is in short supply due to it not having a large profit margin.
**The Request**
Kevin is tougher than nails. He's the school's real-life superman, and he's a massive fan of Taylor Swift. With Kevin's senior year of highschool ruined, it only seems fair to have Taylor Swift take this amazing kid to prom.
Reddit, do any of you have any means of sending this humble request to Taylor Swift? The entire community is doing what we can to spread the news, and I know of no stronger community than Reddit. Anything could help!
TL;DR: | Kevin has cancer...again. To top it off the drug that could potentially save his life is in shrot supply (due to a low profit margin)...**Could you help send Taylor Swift to prom with him?** |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help- how to break up when there's no big problem [m29]
POST: Hi guys, thanks in advance for reading, and your advice.
I've been seeing a girl F27 for a couple of months now. We met online and instantly clicked, had nice chats and had fun visiting galleries and museums, and even went on a little weekend away. It was fun but I never felt much beyond physical attraction. However she was very quickly comfortable being coupley, eg. leaving stuff at my apartment and just having quiet nights in, cooking dinner and watching TV. I've met her friends but she hasn't met mine. I must admit that this is a bit quick for me (and told her so after about 3 weeks of being together, but it didn't really change anything), but that is not to say that I don't like nights in, or just chilling out... I just am not comfortable with it at the moment, I can't quite describe why I'm just not. For about 2 weeks I've been having a niggling feeling that something is off, I just don't enjoy being with her and doubt that our relationship is going anywhere. It's not that she's not nice, I'm just not feeling it (I can't explain it any better than that, even in my own head). She, on the other hand, seems very happy with me and becomes more comfortable by the day, which only puts me off more.
I spent last weekend away with friends and hardly spoke to her, and took the time to think about it, and settled on breaking up with her as soon as I got back, but I couldn't do it.. I arrived so late and she had prepared food for me and I just felt terrible. So I'm seeing her again tonight, I'm still fairly sure that we should break up but I don't really know what to say to her.. But I know I've got to do it. I was planning on going to her place after work tonight and telling her, but now she is texting me big dinner plans ... Any advice?! I'm thinking that I need I to text her now, to stop her planning a big dinner, and ask her to meet me at a cafe but then she will know that something bad is happening... Agh!
TL;DR: | she's a nice girl but moved too quick in to couple zone. I want to end it now but don't have a strong reason and finding it hard to find a good time to do it... Help?! |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Thank you /r/personalfinance for giving me the motivation to start an emergency fund - It saved not only my life but my family's lives as well
POST: Throwaway because my real account is my real name.
Been lurking on here for the past year or so. Didn't post much but soaked all the info in this sub as best as I could. Anyways, a year ago at this time I was making $74,000 a year. Fast forward to today, I'm unemployed because the organization I was working for went through some sudden budget problems and laid everyone off in September (we didn't know we were being laid off until mid-August 2015, it was very sudden).
Fortunately before I was laid off, my fiance and I have been aggressively putting money aside in our 6-month emergency fund. Our goal for our 6-month emergency fund was to have a little over $43,000 in it by August 2015 and we hit that goal in June 2015.
Our emergency fund goal was simple: Both of our take-home pays combined after taxes are ~ $7,200, multiplied by 6 months = $43,200. We thought this was best so that if one of us or both of us were to suffer some tragic medical accident or lose our jobs, we can still continue our regular lifestyle for six months. We're still able to eat out, go to the movies, splurge on small stuff (shopping, etc.) and don't have to "cut back" on anything.
So thank you /r/personalfinance. Before I found this sub the idea of an emergency fund never crossed my mind. I think everyday what our lives would be like if I got laid off and our family didn't have any savings and we had to start cutting back on all of our expenses and adjust our lifestyle to one income.
**Background:** No CC debt or Student Loan debt, just two cars ($400/month and $700/month), rent is $1,500/month, and regular stuff (car insurance, etc.)
TL;DR: | Built up a 6-month emergency fund, got laid off, emergency fund saved my ass, been getting caught up with all my favorite TV shows with all my free time. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Help me teach my roommate a lesson - lock the front door.
POST: I live an apartment with about 30 units or so. My roommate just moved in, and she NEVER locks the front door. I have about $3000 worth of stuff in the living room including my laptop, HDTV, HTPC,
TL;DR: | Roommate doesn't lock door to apartment, need to teach her a lesson/pull a prank so that she will lock the front door. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] think I have this crush on this guy [22M], but I'm scared to ruin our friendship.
POST: About 2 years ago I decided not to be interested on dates/relationships as I wanted to focus on myself and career, etc. However, a year ago I met a wonderful guy who ended up breaking up with me because he said he wanted to focus on school. He was my first serious boyfriend (I was in a LDR with someone I met online before him), and I liked the idea of being in a relationship. So I learned that it's possible for me to handle a relationship and a career (I'm an architecture student)
I've been thinking a lot about what I am looking for in a guy, especially because there are so many guys who ask me out, but I end up saying no. But I've been thinking about this friend, let's name him Scott, and he is everything I look for a guy: he is very passionate about this career (architecture student too), he isn't into clubbing, he has healthy friendships, he is family-oriented, he wants to get married (not that I want to marry him, but my ex didn't believed in marriage as his parents were going through a divorce, and he was always scared about me leaving him, those were also reasons why he broke-up with me).
On the otherside, Scott and I are very good friends. We are very passionate about architecture, and he likes the way I work, and I like the way he works, so we try to have all the classes as possible together, so we can work in teams together. I would do anything for him, and he would do anything for me. (I remember staying up all-night to help him finish his project)
I'm not sure if I should ask him out, and if so, how. I just can't imagine college without him, but I really like him, but I don't want to ruin anything.
TL;DR: | I have a crush on this guy that we support each other at school. I don't know if I should go for it and ask him out (and if so, how) as I'm scared to ruin our friendship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I need help,this girl is tearing me apart...
POST: So Debbie(let's call her "Debbie") was going out with a friend of mine.Let me tell you I liked her for a long time( we are in highschool now) she got in to a fight with my friend and broke up with him.She started acting all flirty towards me and I started feeling some emotions I haven't felt before.I really liked her and wanted to be something,but I didn't want to ruin my friendship.So I decide to give some time and let my friend know about this.After 2 weeks she goes back to my friend and I text her asking what's up.Debbie tells me how whenever she gets into an argument, she always goes to the next person she likes and how she always needs someone.I feel heartbroken right now and I feel like doing something to make me forget. Can anyone help me with forgetting about this?
TL;DR: | friends girlfriend uses me for a while.Get back with him,now I feel like shit.any tips on how to forget? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [WA] Mother is now partially mentally incapacitated. What steps should I take to help?
POST: For the past few years, my mother, who is in her early 50's, has been severely depressed after divorcing my father a few years back. She has pursued online relationships and does live with her boyfriend, but was still depressed. She also has borderline personality disorder, which causes unstable moods, behavior, and relationships with everyone she knows.
Recently, she has attempted to take her life twice. The first one ended up with her having slight nerve damage to her legs. The second one has lead her to develop parkinsonism, destroying her fine motor skills and partial short term memory loss. She will now get lost just walking outside of the house. She is also now incapable of working. I believe she now needs to enter an assisted living facility, as she's now incapable of living on her own. Her boyfriend also wants to move her into an assisted living facility as well.
I've read up a little bit regarding the matter, and I believe that 1) I should set myself up as POA, 2) Help her retire, 3), Establish a living will, 4) Manage her finances and 5) Move her into an assisted living facility.
Are these steps right? What kind of lawyer should I be consulting? A family lawyer or an estate lawyer?
Thanks.
TL;DR: | Mother attempted to off herself twice, now with physical and mental damage, need to start taking steps to get her into an assisted living facility. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's something you've learned about your parents/family after childhood that you would have never suspected?
POST: I was raised in a conservative home with my brothers and parents. My whole family is very mild-mannered and Christian, and I've always considered my dad a straight arrow. I'm heading off to college this Fall, and my dad decided it was time to tell some family stories. Appparently my uncle was really into cocaine in high school. After he graduated he became a skeleton and couldn't hold a job or go to school. My dad talked him into talking to my grandpa, and eventually he agreed to seek treatment. Now he's a software engineer and makes six figures. Also my dad dated a cocaine addict for four years. The last three years of the relationship were him trying to get her off the drug. He paid for her treatment, went to therapy with her, bailed her out of jail and saved her life over and over. Once she became stable, the relationship ended. Through all of this, my dad today has never used cocaine or any other drug. I'm oddly proud of him.
TL;DR: | I always thought my family was as straight as an arrow. Turns out cocaine can affect anyone. My dad is a saint and potentially saved two lives. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My girlfriend (24f) of almost two years is making some really absurd demands before coming to visit me (22m)
POST: My girlfriend and I aren't long distance but for reasons outside of our control we haven't been able to see each other for a couple of weeks, I live and work in her city but I've had to come home to visit my family (a 2 hour flight away) before ideally going back there in another month or so.
Anyway, she now has a little time off and obviously I thought it would be nice if she came here but she's not entirely keen on it, for some fairly ridiculous reasons and she's making some really silly demands before booking her flight.
The number one problem is that I have a little collection of comic books, and she hates them for reasons I can't understand. It's probably worth around 300€ so I'd rather not just throw everything anyway, but that's exactly what she's asking of me. Honestly I don't care about them anymore but it's the principle of it really that annoys me; I even told her I'd sell it to make a little cash, but apparently there's not enough time before she arrives and she 'absolutely doesn't want to see them'.
There are another couple of silly things but this is the main thing that stands out to me. There's basically no chance of trying to get her to understand that it makes no sense to throw them away, because in her mind that means 'I'm choosing them over her'.
We've had a really rough time over the past six months; no infidelity or anything like that, just a lot of stupid fights and we almost broke up on more than one occasion. At this point this aren't great especially since we're not actually together, and I fear that if we don't see each other it could spell the end of our relationship.
I don't really know what to do, because honestly it would really piss me off to throw away something like that even if it doesn't really mean anything to me anymore, but at this point I really miss her so much and want to see her and fix our relationship.
I'd appreciate some advice and an outside opinion on my situation if anyone has read this far, thanks.
TL;DR: | girlfriend won't come visit me if I don't throw away and old comic book collection which she hates and I don't want to do it out of principle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: White, not Ivory FFS [Minor Rant/Derp]
POST: I read all of the terrible things fellow brides have said about David's but figured it was still worth checking out with our relatively small budget. I made an appointment back in October at my local shop, expecting a rough time based on the reviews at that particular shop. Much to my delight, my appointment was with a warm middle aged woman named Annette who spent two hours zipping me into dresses, offering honest feedback and accessory suggestions and generally just being fantastic. I left feeling SO confident and while I found "the one" on the first go wanted to still hit a few of the independent shops in my area.
Still, nothing really compared to the gown I chose and I made an appointment to see Annette again, try on the dress, and order the sucker. Except I didn't get an appointment with her, despite saying MULTIPLE times on the phone that I wanted that particular stylist. Whatever, fine, I clarified that the commission on this sale needed to go to her. Another stylist helped me into the dress, I ordered it, moved on. Except I messed up- I didn't check the receipt and the dress was ordered in ivory instead of soft white. This became clear today when I went to pick up said gown and it wasn't the right color. My fault for not checking the order slip (mom had it since she paid) but my colors are white and blue and the item saved on my list was in white (soft white isn't even available in this dress, which is fine, but why the hell would stylist #2 say it was).
The kicker is that my dress might not come in until May 9th, less than a month before my wedding. I'm so pissed at myself and regret that Annette wasn't there when I ordered it. I feel like stylist #2 rushed through everything because she wasn't getting any commission out of it. We had multiple verbal exchanges about the color of the dress. I just hope it comes in early enough to get any alterations made before our big day (5 months, really David's?).
TL;DR: | Check your receipt to make sure your order was put in correctly. Don't deal with second rate bridal stylists. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29F] can't have sex with Fiancee [32M] without thinking about when he cheated on me
POST: Okay, you guys may have some insight or suggestions or not. I just need to talk about this.
My Fiancée and I have been together for 11 years (engaged for 2), we are both each other's firsts (first BF/GF, first love & first lover). In June my Fiancée told me he cheated on me. He slept (once) with a girl he met on Facebook during a very difficult time between us. In the past we've had horrible communication between us and that has driven him to "talk" to other women online for years, but this was the first time he ever slept with someone else. I've also slipped up and kissed another man a few years ago - so it isn't like I'm not to blame either, we clearly needed to talk about our communication issues but didn't for 11 freaking years.
Now, more than 9 months have passed, we've worked massively on our communication skills and our relationship. We are actually better than ever. However, every time we try to have sex all I can think about is what he did and I either get upset or angry which ends the sexy times. I'm worried that I'l never get over this and that our relationship needs to end. But I don't want it to end, I love him. He has even said that he is very happy with our relationship now and doesn't even feel the need to "reach out" to other women. I'm so frustrated. I hate what he did to us and I get very angry about it. And thoughts on how to move past this and start enjoying my new relationship?
TL;DR: | Fiancee cheated on me, back together, can't have sex without thinking about what he did. Need to get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22M] jealous of my [21F] Girlfriend of 3 months. How do I get over it?
POST: Like the title says, I believe I am jealous of my girlfriend. She grew up right outside a small city, enjoyed the nightlife (drinking age is 18 where she grew up), the dating life, summer weekends at a lake cabin, great vacations, and a large group of good friends that she went to a lot of house parties with. I grew up in a quiet suburb, slow to make friends, hardly went out even after turning 21 (drinking age where I grew up) at university. She is only my third girlfriend, but the first serious one. She has been in love before and been with several other guys intimately. I have only been with two girls previously, and they were short lived.
We have been talking about getting more serious in our relationship and she is ready to settle down, she told me. I know that is what I want as well, but I am having trouble with a couple things. Regardless of whether or not I settle down with her, I need to accept that I will never be able to go back and relive my adolescence. Somehow I need to accept that. I cannot find a way. Secondly, staying with her means a constant reminder of something I want, but can't have. There must be some way to get passed this.
TL;DR: | My girlfriend had a great party life, now looking to settle down. I am jealous because I did not have the same experience and wish I had. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24 F] need advice on how to relax/ be mentally present when my boyfriend [25 M] is trying to get me off!
POST: Ok, so here goes! I'll try to make this succint.
I've been dating my current bf for a year now. We met in college, I immediately fell for him, we were both to shy to do anything about it though, so nothing happened. We went a year with no contact and then ran into each other completely randomly, and have been dating ever since. We began having sex about a month into the relationship. The sex is great and I love him very much. But I do take a long time to finish and, for a while, it was difficult for him to get me off at all. The issue now is that, even though he can get me off, I still take longer. I've been thinking about it a lot and here's my theory:
I LOVE sex with him, getting him off, giving pleasure, ect. I'm always down to give head, have sex, fool around. I pretty much know how to get him off and, even though it's fun to tease him, I have a few moves I know send him over the edge. I think these are all positive things, but maybe when it comes to him getting me off, I'm still stuck in the mentality that it's all about HIM
Do other ladies have this issue? Guys, do you notice this with your girlfriends/ girls you've been with? How can I relax and just let myself ENJOY him trying to get me off, and basically just allow myself to make it 100% about me?
Hope this makes sense! I kind of typed it without thinking, just trying to get it all out. Thanks for any advice !
TL;DR: | I have trouble relaxing while my bf is trying to get me off/ need advice on how to allow myself to just enjoy the moment! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [28/M] Proposal, Stress, Timing, and My Girlfriend [30/F]
POST: Hello all from my throw away account. I am in a committed relationship with a woman I love and I have recently purchased an engagement ring. I would like to propose to her sooner rather than later, but right now there is a lot of stress and change in our life and I worry that adding one more thing to her load won't help in the short term. Things going on in her life:
* Wednesday she starts a new job.
* She and I are both in our first year of grad school.
* We have two weddings to attend in the next two months, both of which require a lot of work from her.
It doesn't sound like that much, but it is on top of a crazy last six months that included both of our grandmothers dying, her dad being hospitalized, us moving in together, and starting grad school while she works full time as a teacher (in a not great city and has had to call Child Protective Services twice so far this year). She is definitely feeling stressed at the moment, although the new job should help.
I took about a year to find the right ring, so I am not exactly in a rush, but at the same time I would like to marry this girl! However, it sounds like weddings are stressful things and it seems to me like maybe I should wait until the end of the school year to pop the question.
BUT I am a guy and girls are hard. So what do you think, reddit? Should I wait or just go for it?
TL;DR: | Stressful time in my girlfriend's life, should I propose now or wait for a less stressful period in a few months? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [23/m] Im in love with one of my better friends [23/f] but she has a boyfriend...
POST: So I have recently realized that I'm in love with one of my better friends, she currently has a boyfriend but they are in a long distance relationship and things have been rough for them recently. Since things have been "rough" we've been hanging out a lot more (just about everyday) and having dinner together at least once a week. The other day she even told me that she was having separation anxiety when we didn't see each other for a whole day.
I'm fairly certain she knows how I feel as she had mentioned to me after one night of drinking that I was "forward" with her - but we have never addressed the situation directly. Just about every time we go out together on the weekends we end up drunkly flirting with each other, and there have been a couple occurrences when she is very forward with me.
She is so strongly against cheating that I know she would never cheat on him with me, and I would never let her. Regardless its tearing me up inside at this point, she is an amazing girl and I would do anything for her. I've never felt so connected to anyone I have ever met before... Im just so confused. I understand if and once I tell her there is no going back but I just don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | Im in love with one of my better friends, she and her boyfriend are having problems, I think she knows how I feel, we hang out all the time, my emotions hurt. Help!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Resigning from job during/following Short Term Disability medical leave [MN]
POST: I am currently out of work on Short Term Disability (STD) medical leave from my job located in the state of Minnesota due to a diagnosis of Major Depression Disorder & GAD that has recently flared-up in my life. While I've been out I've come to the personal realization with the help of therapists that returning to my job under the same manager and co-workers would be detrimental to my mental health due to the toxicity of the workplace environment. I'm ready to move on from this company and intend to resign immediately after my short term disability period ends, but have a few legal questions I'd like to get more clarification on before making the final decision to do so.
I am seeking legal advice on the following questions:
**1)** If I inform HR and my manager that I will not be returning to work and that I am resigning from my position effective immediately will I have any legal repercussions for doing so?
All the medical and therapy visits I've gone to have been subsidized by my current healthcare insurance provided by a third party through my employer. If I resign without returning to work will I be responsible for the medical expenses that my employment benefits provided during my short term disability at full cost? Also, will I have to pay back healthcare insurance premiums that my employer covered? The last thing I need to deal with is $20k + in medical bills if those costs are retroactively applied to me by my resignation without returning.
**2)** The company I am currently employed with also provided me with short term disability salary compensation through a third party insurance provider who has approved my medical claim while I've been out. I have used the funds I've received to help pay off the portion of the medical bills that I'm responsible for as well as to maintain my daily living expenses while I've been attending therapy programs. Can the insurance salary coverage that has been provided to me through the third party insurance provider be retroactively taken away and/or billed back to me if I do not return to work for a certain period of time?
TL;DR: | Can my employer or healthcare insurance provider sue or bill me if I do not return to work for a certain period of time *(i.e. 30 days or more)*? |
SUBREDDIT: r/BreakUps
TITLE: Should ex [16M] and I [17F] stay friends?
POST: First off, I'd like to ask if you guys could hear me out. I acknowledge the fact that I am young, however, I feel like I really need advice.
My boyfriend and I dated for almost two years. Relatively recently in the relationship, I noticed he seemed a bit controlling and manipulative. This includes trying to turn me against my family, making me always seem wrong, and not allowing me to speak to any guys he viewed as a potential threat.
To put it bluntly, we broke up because he sent a picture of what he claimed as "only his pubes" to nearly all of his contacts on Snapchat.
We haven't been broken up for very long. We've been talking and trying to communicate to each other about our feelings pertaining to whether or not we should remain friends. Both of us are extremely confused and have absolutely no idea how to handle not having each other.
Now, several factors contribute to him and I wondering about the validity of a friendship and whether or not it would even work.
* I'm graduating high school in 4 months and going to a university over 8 hours away.
* We both still have feelings for each other and believe it would be hard for us to move on.
However, there are a few reasons as to why I do want to remain friends. We have been through a lot together, we were really good friends before we began dating, I see him everyday and have to interact with him anyway, and in all honesty, I miss him terribly.
I have no idea how to handle the break up, and I do want to be friends, but I don't know if that's the best for us. I don't want him to be caught up on me because I have no intention on going back to him. Any advice would be helpful!
TL;DR: | Boyfriend and I broke up due to a stupid choice he made. Several pros and cons to being friends. Am sad. Do we try and be friends? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] Me [28f] with my 29m bf for 7 yrs
POST: Original:
First of all, I want to thank you kind Internet strangers for your outpouring of support. I've seen the internet do awful things...and you guys have restored a little faith, so thank you.
Anyways...to Summarize the day..... My BFF decided we needed to be more certain it was in fact Josh. So. She set up a fake profile and essentially catfished him. It didnt take more than 10mins and we had our proof.
I left work early, and thanks to the suggestion of many redditors, had someone come with to the confrontation. I am pretty sure i flipped his world upside down, much like he did to mine. I heard hundreds if not thousands of excuses. He left without packing anything. So, my friend, myself and my BFF ended up packing up his things and delivering to his parents.
Now for the recovery and moving on. New chapter.
Thank you again, redditors.
TL;DR: | got concrete evidence, confronted, and he's gone to his friends. I am left feeling betrayed, grossed out an embarassed, but know in due time I will recover. |
SUBREDDIT: r/loseit
TITLE: I have lost 50 pounds, but I need to lose more and I am struggling. (This is long, sorry)
POST: So last year I decided to lose weight after a bad break up and losing my job. I worked my butt off and dieted and managed to drop 50 pounds. It was one of the best experiences of my life!!! I decided to join the military once I got to my weight requirements that they had set for me.
Now I am set to go in sometime in June, but my recruiter is starting to jump my case about my weight. I currently weigh 163 pounds and my max weight is 170 (I am 5'6"). My recruiter says that I need to try and get at least under 160 if I can. My current goal is 150 pounds. Normally I would have stopped trying to lose weight at this point, and just maintain where I am at, but it seems important to try and lose more.
But I have hit a wall in my goal. I cannot seem to lose any more weight. I am running, and dieting (not starving myself) and nothing seems to work. In fact I am gaining some weight back, which is causing me to freak out. What am I doing wrong here? I don't eat out, I try to eat at or around 1500 calories a day, I am running and doing other cardio exercises without any problems. My training with the military is getting easy too. So I am pushing myself harder and harder, sometimes burning 1000 calories a day and spending 2-3 hours in the gym a day. And yet still nothing works.
Where should I go from here?
[Here] are pictures of my progress by the way. I know you guys like to see these!
TL;DR: | I lost a lot of weight, trying to lose more, but I have plateaued. How do I move forward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm 36/F, my 34/M roommate is a habitual drunk driver. Advice on how to wake him up?
POST: I have a friend I let move in with me a few months ago. I never really understood the magnitude of his drinking until we lived together.
He works at a bar about a mile from our house. Sometimes he stays after to drink with coworkers /friends so it's not unusual to see him crawling/stumbling to his room after long night of drinking. Other nights he may go out to a random bar, come home and go back out again completely shit faced. I've told him straight forward how much his drinking and driving bothers me. It's a completely selfish act. He's putting himself and innocent others lives at risk with his behavior. I want this to stop before he kills someone. He's great person aside from this and I truly care about him as a friend, but this has to stop.
Hiding his keys is not an option. His jeep has a broken key in the ignition that he can start with a pocket knife.
I would prefer NOT to call the police on him when I know he's driving drunk, but I may not have a choice. He's going to school to be a commercial airline pilot. A DUI arrest could effectively screw his future career. At the same time I'm well aware his actions could cost someone their life and trust me, I feel extremely guilty everytime I hear him leave the house knowing he's wasted.
As a friend I don't want to ruin his future / life. As a friend I want to save it. I don't want to feel the burden of knowing he killed or seriously hurt someone else / himself when I could have stopped it by calling the police.
Any thoughts? Has anyone else dealt with this and found a way to knock some common fucking sense into a habitual drunk driver without resorting to putting their future in serious jeopardy at the same time?
TL;DR: | My roommate is a notorious drunk driver. I want him to stop but calling the police on him could ruin his life and our friendship. His actions are putting me in a very bad position. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is it possible to cancel overdraft fees? Innocent college student here!
POST: Soooo... I paid tuition for college using my checkings account, assuming that my mom had already deposited money for me to pay for the 4K tuition. Unfortunately, I assumed incorrectly. (dumb, no common sense, spoiled, I know, I'M SORRY) After minutes of yelling from my Asian mom, I found that I had a 35$ overdraft fee on my Bank of America account. I now have sufficient funds, however, that nasty overdraft fee still lingers... If I call back on Tuesday or whatnot, do you think they would retract it? It's the first time I've ever overdrafted... it was just a mistake of mine.... if I just tell them the truth and play a little sympathy card being a college student, do you think they'd cancel it?!
TL;DR: | will BoA cancel my overdraft fee that I accidentally set off when paying tuition? I have sufficient funds in my account now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Is having "throw-away jobs" a bad idea?
POST: 22 year old, some college. I have a full-time career (financial sales consultant), 40 hrs a week with paid leave and benefits. Been with the company for 10 months and been promoted twice already. I currently earn a base salary of 26k, and have a steep incentive base income. Our incentives are paid out quarterly, so towards the end of the quarter I run a bit tight on funds. I have serving experience; I'm wondering how terrible of an idea it would be to have positions for a few weeks at a time to collect tips and not struggle with scheduling conflicts. I feel like as soon as there is an issue, I can just say fuck it since I have a full timer and don't need added stress. There are a ton of franchise restaurants around me (fridays, red robin, chilis, applebees, etc.) So I wouldn't exactly be screwing over small time managers, but I just need some quick cash a couple nights a week to expand my wealth a bit. How horrible of an idea is this?
TL;DR: | have a full time job, want to get burner part time serving for tips that I don't need to deal with scheduling bullshit and can walk away from |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] with a friend [22F] who has been walking all over me
POST: Several months ago we were briefly more than friends, but it was quickly truncated as she did not want to pursue a relationship. I was okay with that and we remained just friends. I can admit that I still had feelings for her, and I basically allowed her to walk all over me for a (maybe I wrongly-hoped that I might one day get to be with her, I'm not sure, I know how lame I was)
Recently she's become frustrated over school; we're enrolled in some difficult courses. When she gets frustrated and angry she becomes very quiet around me, almost to the point of not talking and just promoting her feeling of being upset. However, she does not want me to comfort her or touch her. Juxtapose this with the way she treats this other guy who has been hanging out with us at school, to whom she is always happy to talk to, she touches him (in a flirty way), even when "frustrated" over our classes.
Am I jealous that he receives the treatment I do when she's upset and dejecting me? yes. But do I deserve the brut of her anger when I am not her boyfriend? no. I asked her the other day why she deadpans me when she's upset about school, yet is still jovial around other people to which she responded "Do you want me to pretend I'm happy like I do with them?"
Today she asked me "why am I so pissed off" to which I responded that I did not like her taking her anger out on me, to which she responded "I only acted that way because you weren't listening to me not wanting to be comforted." I stopped responding at that point. If she doesn't want my comfort but wants me to know she's upset, what is the point? I'd like an apology but I'm fairly certain I'm not going to get one, what do I do here reddit?
TL;DR: | I have a friend who wants me to know she's upset but doesn't want me to help her in any way, and she still acts friendly and flirty around other people. What do I do here? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20F] think my SO [24 M] of 1.5 years is moving way faster than me relationship wise
POST: I'm sorry if this is long :(
My boyfriend seems really keen about the whole marriage thing and is really excited about settling down and loves to talk about how our wedding will be etc. I have to admit that I find it cute and endearing and it makes me feel loved but I am not at that stage yet.
A few days ago he was talking about in two or three years of proposing and I told him I wasn't keen on the idea. This is simply because I'd rather have fun in other ways during my twenties and spend the money on things such as travelling and exploring the world together.
He then proceeded to tell me that he wouldn't wait 10 years and if this was the case he'd, "find another person to marry." After getting upset about his reaction he apologised and said he felt I was saying I would rather not be with him, which I hadn't even mentioned at all!
On top of this he asked me to open a joint bank account with him to save for things we would like to go to/see and such. I told him the idea was lovely but I didn't want a joint bank account. He took that badly and couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to because he knows "other couples" who have one.
Not only did both of his reactions hurt my feelings, but after all of this I am rethinking everything. I'm so unsure of what can become of us if neither of us want or value the same things. I feel like he is in a totally different place than me and that I'm too young to be thinking about any of this. Am I being a prude and over reacting?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is talking of marriage in next few years and I'm thinking of this in at least ten - don't know what to do??? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I check my (23F) jealousy with my boyfriends (29M) of 9 months ex?
POST: My boyfriend, Jamie, used to date Annie for about five years. They broke up about a year ago. He broke up with her due to suspected cheating, and had always spoken with mild disdain about her to me. He would summarize their relationship as that he was always the one putting in the effort, she was vindictive, and a mean drunk.
Within the last couple months though, they've been texting casually. He says they only text about general things and life updates, and send each other memes or funny pictures.
Although with some weird behavior - when he went to show me something she sent him, he tried to pull it up but then said he had actually deleted their convo, and that he deletes their conversation daily because he is afraid it will make me jealous if I see it. He has also deleted her contact, but has her number memorized. I think this is because I got jealous she was in his iPhone recent contacts, so he deleted her number so it just wouldn't show up there.
He also pulled up Facebook to show me a family member, and I noticed she was the most recent profile he had searched for, and i had also noticed this about a week ago when he was showing me someone else. They are not Facebook friends.
He doesn't have a ton of suspicious behavior aside from deleting the texts - he is not protective of his phone at all, doesn't get any late night texts or a lot of texts at all. He says he likes being cordial/friendly with the ex. How do I get over the fear that he still has feelings for her, or find out if this is true?
I'm not sure how to talk to him about my fears, when we talk about it he gets frustrated with my jealousy and assures me he is over her. I'm just worried he will keep her on a pedestal, or that he misses being with her.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend (29) says he is over his ex, but they still talk casually (every other day or so) and he has been looking at her Facebook on a weekly basis. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [18/m] How can I find out where my relationship with this girl is?
POST: Hello, everyone!
I've been talking to this girl for awhile, and we've hung out several times before with other people, but we just recently got to hang out alone. We went out for dinner, but I didn't exactly ask her on a date. I more or less casually asked her if she wanted to go to this great pizza place she's never been to. But I picked her up, paid for dinner, walked her up to her house when I dropped her off, and we hugged, and everything felt really date-like.
Now, we have plans to make plans for two "dates" in the future. We've pretty much agreed to watch a movie or movies on at least one of those days though. Not in a theatre. Most likely her house because she has the movies on DVD (or blu-ray. I hope they're blu-ray. I love blu-ray.). So I'm not sure what to do when I get there. Do I sit with her? or just next to her? How close is too close? Obviously, we're not touchy-feely close. We've just been on one date that might not have even been a date! But maybe this would be the opportunity to get closer? I don't want to weird her out by trying to initiate some kind of contact, but I also don't want to give the impression that I'm not that interested by sitting away from her. I can't really just ask whether or not she likes me or thinks we've starting dating, so what can I do?
TL;DR: | I don't know where this relationship/friendship is or where it's going, but I need to find out before we end up on another "date" |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Never thought this would happen to me, I found two kittens and their mom living in my backyard, what can I do to help them?
POST: I see this happening on Reddit all the time, but now that it happened to me I have no clue what I can do to help these animals.
A few days ago when I was casually looking out my kitchen window I saw two little ears poke up from underneath my deck, it took me awhile to realize that was of a little kitten! I was pleasantly surprised when mama cat came strolling in my yard with a mouse in her mouth, she dropped it off for the kittens and left again. I haven't been keeping a close eye on them since assuming they're just here temporarily, but they seems to take up residency underneath my deck because I saw the kittens playing on top of the pool cover this morning.
I would love to adopt them but my boyfriend is extremely allergic to cats, so that option is out the door. I left a little tray of water out for them and a cardboard box with some rags because I know it is going to get cold tonight. The kittens are about 1/3 the size of mom, and I assume they're eating solid foods already. Should I call animal control? Or local shelters? I'm just afraid if the kitties don't get adopted they will be put down, and that will break my heart.
TL;DR: | A mama cat and two kittens moved into my backyard a week ago, besides adopting them what can I do to help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (26F) tell my husband (28M) of 5 years that I'm no longer a Christian?
POST: My husband and I were both raised in Christian households. His family is a bit more liberal while my family is all fire and brimstone (my mom got mad at me for getting my dog microchipped because it's "the mark of the beast"). Neither of us have been to church in 2+ years but my husband still talks like he's a believer. Over the past couple of years I've realised it seems more and more like a fairy tale. I went from believing 100% that the god of the Bible exists, to believing maybe a higher power exists, to not believing anything at all.
I don't know how to bring it up to my husband. Any time he talks about anything religious I try to just change the subject. I know he won't leave me because of this, but I can't help but think he's going to be disappointed in me. I know he'll want to raise our future kids in the church but I don't think I'll want to. I feel like I'd be letting people lie to them.
I guess I just need help with broaching the topic with him. And maybe in the future with my uber conservative mother.
TL;DR: | Married my husband when we were both Christians, I see myself as an atheist now and don't know how to tell him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] and this girl i have been seeing [20/F] Acts like a different girl online vs real life
POST: So this girl I've been seeing, it feels as though when I'm with her she's the perfect girlfriend, she's all over me and I can tell she's really into me by the way she kisses me, looks at me etc. But the way she acts on Facebook, and when she's not with me is the polar opposite of the girl I see in real life.
She's very apathetic to going out, i put this down to her weed addiction. And she will regularly not respond to me, but then again I've always been pretty dry on Facebook. My question is has anyone else experienced this where the person online doesn't match the person in real life. Any help, or comments are welcome. English is my second language so sorry for any typos or grammatical errors. I was thinking about discontinuing the relo, but
TL;DR: | She acts like a different person IRL, and irl she acts like she loves me, but then can't be bothered to respond on facebook or come out and see me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22] girlfriend [20] is not a confident person whatsoever, and it's impacting the way I view her.
POST: We've been going out for a year now, and she's never gained any raw self-confidence. She will momentarily feel confident about something, which is cool, but deep down, she always needs continuous affirmations of my love for her. If I happen to be quiet, she thinks something is wrong. If I don't return her call, she thinks I'm ignoring her, or that I don't want to talk to her. This ended up with her using dirty tactics as to "What? You didn't want to talk to me?" as a way to guilt me into having a conversation over the phone (which I dislike, and have told her).
Also, when we started going out, I told her I wasn't very verbal when it comes to my feelings about my relationship. This caused her to put pressure on me for reveiling how I feel (which is fantastic, because I'm gotten so much better). However, she never really believes me. She always tries to dig deeper than what I actually said (and I mean what I say, I don't take the sideroad).
Another thing that bothers me is that she hates other women for no valuable reason. She lives with roommates, and would find reasons to hate them, which were severely insignificant. They have a very clean kitchen, and sometimes they might leave the occasional container on the counter. That's enough for her to validate the way she feels about them. She seems to alienate herself from a lot of people with no particular reason, which causes me to be one of the few people she has interaction with on a social level.
Having all of this said, how do I help her to gain confidence in herself on a much deeper level? Also, how do I make her understand to stop limiting her daily social life to a very few limited people?
TL;DR: | Can't be said in a single sentence. Low self-confidence and limited social interactions causes her to use unfriendly tactics to guilt me into giving her more attention. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 F] with my 2 [23 M] guys that I fell in love with, both live on a different continent, and I don't know how to handle the loss
POST: So one I met on reddit, the other one while travelling. Spent time with both.
After talking -a lot- with the reddit guy he became my best friend at the same time as I fell in love with him. I prolonged a trip that I had already planned that happened to be pretty close to him, and stayed with him for 3 weeks.
After a hook up with travel guy, we get along well and I visit him for 3 days later during my travels. Also had accidentally planned a trip close to him. Fell in love instantly. Different from reddit guy love, but just thinking of him now gives me butterflies in my stomach.
I was living in a dream, and now I'm back home.
Contact with both has faded.
I don't know how to deal with the heartbreak.
And I keep asking why. Why did I allow myself to fall in love with something that could never work, because of the distance.
Maybe I'm lying to myself and I don't know what love is, because you would think that that distance wouldn't matter if I was really in love.
I wouldn't mind being with them in their country. But I also have ambitions at home.
And it's not all about me.
TL;DR: | Fell in love with 2 guys who live far away, it doesn't really have a possibility of working, don't know how to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by stealing a live bullet and telling my teacher...
POST: Background. I'm doing a CO-OP at a Law Firm for high school. They keep a box of bullets along with guns in the basement. Anyways, I had never seen a bullet before and decided to take one just to see. I did not know that bullets could be "live" nor did I know they contain gun powder. So me being an idiot, put it in my pocket. Now I'm in class totally forgetting the fact I've got a live bullet in my pocket and the second I realise, I show my teacher. Not knowing how I should bring it up, I asked him what I should do with it... Obviously, he calls me and idiot and takes it from me, and I ask for it back and assure him I will put it back. He calls me an idiot once more and takes me to the VP's. The police are called and I get suspended. I'm sitting in my room waiting for an answer from the law firm.
TL;DR: | TIFU by taking a bullet from a law firm. I told my teacher like an idiot, police got involved and I got suspended. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (23, M) am confused about someone that I want to date (21,F), but cannot read signs.
POST: First, I would like to start by saying that I need advice with knowing if I should continue the relationship, and what I should do to advance the relationship if I should try to. Also, she is a quiet girl, but not to the point of social anxiety.
It is simply that I have been talking to this girl for well over a year now. We have hung out a few times, each time her wanting to, but she rarely initiates talking; I mainly only ask questions and she answers them. This same form of communication occurs also while we text/email.
So, what I don't understand is, does she just put up with me and doesn't actually care/want to date me, or does she care, but just doesn't know how to actually have a conversation.
Therefore, I do not know what to take actions etc mean and need advice on what to do.
TL;DR: | Known a girl for over a year, hang out few times. She does not initiate talking. I am confused on what this means and what actions I should take. |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Job offer anxiety - TLDR at end
POST: I am a dog groomer currently working in a shitty place. I applied to a really busy place with benefits about a month or so ago and ran into some problems, which up until now didn't seem like they would be resolved, I hadn't heard from them in a few weeks.
So I just got hired at a new job, still a smallish place but they say they will start getting really busy soon. I start this weekend. The shop is getting a new table to accommodate me. Today I learned from the other place I had applied to before that one of their managers whod been trying to sortthe problem out had gotten into a car accident and I may hear something positive soon from them.
I'm feeling crappy now because I may end up having to ditch the smaller shop for the big one. I would have to go with the big one because benefits, I know them personally having worked with them before, and they are taking effort to get me. I would just feel awful to leave the small one so soon when they got a new table. I may try to wrangle working at both places If I can.
My boyfriend and my mother say not to worry because they would get another table anyway if they wanted to hire someone, and i have to think of myself first. My thought was that they could even return the table if they wanted.
The point is that I want and need validation that it would not be dick of me to leave the small place. Is it dick???(that's what she said) Ahdjgmdofjdn
TL;DR: | am I a dick for potentially leaving a job after only a few weeks and after they bought something to accommodate me, for a job with benefits and more income |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How to fix a broken relationship when someone won't talk to you?
POST: Backstory... I've lost a few good friends lately. My girlfriend and I had been having a difficult time and I took my frustrations out on a few of our mutual friends. Nothing physical, said some really mean things via text. The people I yelled at honestly didn't deserve it. I've tried to apologize and make amends but I think they have all blocked me, without even responding to my attempts at fixing things. Because these people wouldn't forgive me, it caused my relationship with my gf to get worse. So bad that we actually broke up cause she said she couldn't be with me if her friends couldn't forgive me. I don't have any idea how to make things right between us or between the friends that I said mean things to. In all honestly they have ever right to hate me for the things I said to them but I can't get over the fact that none of them will give me a chance to say my side of the story or try to at least apologize.
When I yelled at these people I was actually pretty intoxicated to the point I do not remember what all I even said. I've been trying to take steps to be better like going to AA classes and trying to really tell them how regretful I am that all this happened. Nothing seems to be helping the sitatuion tho. I feel like they are all banding together and using my screw up as a topic of conversation.
TL;DR: | drunk me yelled at some friends because my girlfriend hurt my feelings, girlfriend broke up and friends won't talk to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25F] with my BF [24M] 6 months, possible emotional cheating with his best friend
POST: My boyfriend and I had an argument last night about the appropriateness of his relationship with his best girl friend. We've been trying to work on some other things as well, but this stood out and I'm at a loss for what to do - or even the possibilities he has. They've known each other for ~10 years and I've only known him for 7 months, so I sort of feel like the third wheel butting into another relationship.
* She and I both got new apartments within the same month. He organized a surprise party to congratulate her on her new place; I got nothing.
* They sometimes sleep in the same bed together with their clothes on. He promises there's no cuddling.
* When the three of us were out together for the first time, he sat between us and had his hands on both of our legs (lower thighs) at the same time.
* He dropped plans for dinner with me to walk around a craft store with her.
* She and I both experienced abuse in childhood. With her, he is compassionate and admires her hardships. He barely acknowledges that I experienced something similar and when he has, he compared it to her experience.
* He's never as happy to see me as he is to see her.
* On our second or third date he told me that I "need her approval".
* He talks about our relationship to her, including embarrassing things that I've explicitly asked him not to share.
Last night he said that it's all "impressions" but that he understands how I'd feel that if it "walks like a duck and talks like a duck, then it must be a duck". I'd rather walk away than make him feel like he needs to choose between the two of us (he'd choose her, 100%), but is there a logical step I'm missing/something else I can try? I mean, the relationship is pretty much disintegrating in our hands, but this is one of the finer problems we're having right now. In any case, I feel like I'm somehow being emotionally cheated on and was wondering if anyone has been on their side of the equation before - am I missing something here? Am I super naive?
TL;DR: | I feel like my boyfriend holds his best friend in higher regard (possibly cheating? I can't help but be suspicious) than he does me and it's one of the bigger forces pulling us apart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Alright.. I'm stumped. A little help?
POST: So, I went out with this girl I had been attracted to for a few weeks. We had been friends for a while through a mutual circle of friends, and work, but recently started getting closer, and so I asked her out. We had a pretty good date. Nothing particularly spectacular, but I put my arm around her during the movie we saw, held her hand on the way out and kissed her good night. She responded favorably to all of these things.
The next day, I texted her, but received no reply. We talked a little on Facebook chat but she didn't respond much, and then she stopped showing up in my chat feed and responding to my messages altogether. Whenever I did actually talk to her at all, the conversations were awkward and usually ended with her ignoring something I said, and disappearing. They were all some sort of messaging, by the way. After several ignored messages, a phone call seemed a bit much to ask.
I figure she isn't interested in dating me. That's alright. If she's not into it, I can understand, but I really want to discuss things with her. We'll definitely see each other again, and I'd rather it not be disastrously awkward. After enough ignored requests, I've tried putting the ball in her court, saying that when she's ready to talk to me, to let me know. It's been about a week. What should I do?
TL;DR: | went out with a girl. date went well. she stopped responding to my calls. I want to make sure future inevitable encounters with her are not awkwardsauce. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [24f] having trouble being jealous and insecure with my boyfriend [22m]. How do I get better?
POST: Our relationship is honestly great. We have been together around 6 months and I can say this is the best relationship I have ever been in. We have a few fights over silly things but like the title says, I am having trouble overreacting about things and being jealous - not just about people but how much he's at work, etc.
I am not normally like this. Usually, I am rational and logical and pretty laid back. I haven't been nearly as insecure in other relationships even when I was dating jerks. I am still like this probably 85% of the time with him, but when I get something in my head I can't seem to let it go.
I think my behavior may reflect how much I love my boyfriend and that I am afraid to lose him - but I know that's no excuse and I don't want to keep pushing him away with my immature behavior. What are some ways I can be more rational and less like a silly jealous girl?
TL;DR: | Despite being a usually rational person, I get sulky and jealous with my boyfriend for silly reasons. I need advice on how to improve. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28F] broke up with my boyfriend [27M] of 2 years, can't stop crying after a month. Advice appreciated.
POST: EDIT: My boyfriend broke up with me. Title is backwards.
The break up came completely out of left field. I genuinely thought we were doing great, we had plans to move in together in Jan.
Then, without warning, I was dumped in the worst way possible. I was sent an email, with no real reason for breaking up, and then ignored. I have no idea what happened. And I've been such a mess.
I feel completely abandoned. I feel completely unloved and like I wasn't good enough. Despite doing all the things they say you're supposed to do (keeping busy, hit the gym, etc) I can't stop crying. Every time I have two seconds alone, I'm obsessing over what happened and in tears.
Our relationship had it's normal annoyances and occasional argument, but we talked everyday, laughed often, and spent a lot of time together. There were no warning signs. I didn't know he was unhappy. Just a week prior to the break up he had brought up children and what he would name "our kids." I don't understand.
How do I beat this? It feels so terrible, I feel so alone. And I'm not feeling any better after a month.
TL;DR: | BF of 2 years dumped me via email and disappeared. As far as I knew it was a great relationship. I'm devastated and need advice on how to move on. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19m] don't know what to do anymore with my girlfriend [23f]
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been going through a lot of crap lately and we recently kinda separated. She has a lot of insecurities and mental issues which aren't really a problem for me because I know how to deal with it. I want us to get back together because she is an amazing girl and I would hate to lose her, she has been thinking a lot about our relationship and she says she really wants something more stable and someone she can see a future with, we have always talked about the future and what our plans were and we both wanted the same thing. Something permanent and stable. A about a year ago I moved away from parents and moved to the country where she lived, I didn't know her at the time, I met her after I moved. I study relationships and give out a lot of advice to people that ask it from me, I study female psychology, and relationships and dating in my free time so usually I know how girls think and how to deal with them, but for some reason I can't really deal with this girl and I think that's what attracts me so much to her. She has a lot of doubt and says she's really confused about everything that's going on. I don't know what to do, how to win her back and show her that I really do care, she has self esteem issues and always felt like I didn't care or that I was more interested in other girls and gets very jealous. I would love to hear some input and maybe get a conversation going
TL;DR: | I'm kinda out of ideas and I want to get my girlfriend to stop being insecure about our relationship, #gondorcallsforaid |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Trying to decide whether I [22M] should bother going on a group vacation with friends with my ex [21F] there as well
POST: It's senior year of undergrad and all my friends are planning a trip to Mexico. I've never been on a big spring break trip with friends, so this is very much my last opportunity to travel with this whole group ever again.
The ex and I dated for 2+ years followed by an additional year of on-again, off-again casual dating. Things ended badly (~2 months ago) when she pressured me to enter a committed relationship with her, only to sleep with another guy, claim a lack of comfortability with my bisexuality, ditch, and promptly start dating yet another, separate guy.
Since then, I've cut off all communication with her and been going through a particularly rough time with some stress and social anxiety (partly but not entirely from the breakup). I harbor no romantic feelings for her, but I struggle to say anything nice about her these days, and harbor some pretty intense negative feelings towards her.
The trip is being booked under a group villa, so we'll all be under the same roof. She sees no reason why our beef should prevent either of us from having a good time with our friends. I desperately want to enjoy my last hurrah with my friends, but I'm not quite so optimistic.
...also, the ex's new squeeze will be in the same resort town during the same week.
Am I stupid for even considering going on this trip? If I don't will I regret not traveling with my college friends?
TL;DR: | I want to seize my final opportunity to travel with my college buddies. Unfortunately, my ex (bad breakup) will be staying in the same house. Do I miss out or risk a trip from hell? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by tossing salad.
POST: Throwaway because many of my friends know this story and reddit, and I'd rather they not know my main account.
Anyway, this fuckup began 4 years ago when I was a very naive, innocent 16 year old girl. Seriously, I was the epitome of goody two shoes at the time, and for some reason I decided I wanted to work at a restaurant as a cook.
So not only was I the newest employee, but I was also the youngest and the only girl. I was also the only one who didn't smoke, drink, or curse (at the time). Shocker: I was a virgin.
The kitchen was divided into different stations, and the new people started out on the salad station, because it was the easiest. It turns out I found my niche there, on the salad station. I caught on really quickly and was better than most of the guys on salad by day 3.
Well, that caught the attention of the guys. Occasionally, they'd come up to me and say "Wow, you're really improving, you like tossing salad?" and I'd eagerly say that yes, I really like it.
This became more frequent within a few months of me working. Guys would greet me and say "There's our best salad tosser!" And I'd smile and greet them back because I was finally starting to feel like I belonged.
Cue a FUCKING YEAR LATER. I'm 17, I curse, drink, and I'm not a virgin. One of my friends from outside of work made a joke about a salad tosser, and it finally dawned on me that it was something dirty. Mortified, I googled "salad tossing", and learn more than what I ever cared to have known. I went back to work, and called all my coworkers assholes, and they all laughed their heads off that I finally caught on. They still call me the salad tosser.
TL;DR: | 16 year old me told coworkers that I liked tossing salads for a whole year before learning what it actually meant. I'm now known as the salad tosser. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me(20F) and my boyfriend(21M), together two years, trust issues & in need of advice
POST: My boyfriend had this facebook friend(21F) that he was always looking at, and I mean constantly searching her profile. I didn't really notice until about a year ago because she made a flirty comment on something he posted. While I normally would ignore it because it's just facebook, it really bothered me.
So I watched the friendship's activity from my profile for awhile, then one day I noticed he had invited her to meet up with him in a state he was touring through about six months ago and I confronted him about her and he tried very hard to confirm that it was just some girl he knew over the internet and nothing else, just a girl he had met in high school on the web.
Well, When he returned from tour I felt really weird and insecure so I looked at his browser history and he had done nothing but search for her multiple times daily while he was gone and not me, his girlfriend, once.
Now, six months past that, he still searches her almost daily and flips through her photos. He did DELETE her after tour because I admitted to spying and having a problem with what I found. I know I'm in the wrong for snooping and prying, but I'm at a loss. He claims he cares about me but I can't believe it when he's looking at some girl every time I'm not around.
Today I was looking at his search history through facebook on my computer while he was on at home and he was searching for her right when I happened to be looking, so I clicked on her profile then accidentally added her in a panic, and since he was on too he saw that, then I deleted her quickly, but he already saw.
He then cleared all his searched history after looking for her profile about 10 times due to her being added to his profile without him doing it, then kicked me off through his browser and changed his password.
We haven't spoken yet but I know he knows it was me, no one else would be on his profile or add that specific girl.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is constantly looking at one specific (21F)'s facebook, confronted him about it, he deleted her but still looks for her profile daily. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [30F] with my husband [31M] of 7 years, we're both ex-mormon and I wonder if we made a mistake getting married. [x-post to r/exmormon]
POST: Throwaway because throwaway.
My husband and I both grew up Mormon and got married in a Mormon temple. In order to be married in a Mormon temple, you need to be considered "worthy" which involves not having any sexual relationships before marriage. Neither my husband or I have had any other sexual partners besides each other. We've been out of the Mormon church for the past 4 years. Both of us came to the conclusion on our own, me a little bit before my husband. I consider myself very "blessed" (haha) that we both ended up deciding that the Mormon church wasn't for us and that our marriage was able to survive something that many marriages haven't.
I love my husband a lot. He's kind, sweet, thoughtful and funny. But I wonder if we made a mistake getting married so young and in the temple. Because we've never had any other sexual partners and for the past several years I've found myself wondering if we both have missed out on a huge part of many people's lives. Sex hasn't been bad or uncomfortable, but I wonder if we are as compatible as we could be. I don't really see stars and we never had that "spark" that I hear a lot of people talk about. At least, I have never had that spark being with him. I feel great love and appreciation for him, but orgasms aren't amazing and sometimes I feel like we lack chemistry. I can't help but entertain the idea that there might be someone else out there for me (and him) that could be a better fit and make us happier.
Have we just hit a lull in our marriage or is this a symptom of something bigger like sexual incompatibility? The idea terrifies me. I don't want to get a divorce or leave my husband, but I have been feeling unfulfilled and unhappy and can't help but wonder if I would be happier with someone else.
TL;DR: | Husband and I didn't have sex before marriage and after 7 years I wonder if we're sexually incompatible or if I'm just making a big deal out of nothing. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do my boyfriend's [24M] past relationships mean something about me [22F]?
POST: This is a two-part question, so stick with me.
Question 1: I know this is shallow and so judgmental of me, but here it goes: With the exception of one ex, all of the girls my boyfriend has dated just look... trashy. They're ALL the same "type". I don't want to describe them in detail because I don't want to offend anyone. I don't know these women personally so I'm sure they're all perfectly nice. I, on the other hand, work in a professional environment so I have to dress, look, and act professionally. My boyfriend has even said that I have the best manners out of anyone he's dated.
Does he want women with no ambition or class? Does this reflect poorly on me or is this a good thing? Do I somehow fall into this category without even realizing it?
Question 2: My boyfriend was with his last ex for 8 months. They lived together and both said "I love you". We have now been together for 8 months. He just said "I love you" for the first time two weeks ago (I said it several months ago). His mom made it seem like *such* a big deal that he finally told me he loves me, but then I found out he said it sooner with his ex. We don't live together, and I don't imagine we will for a long time.
Should I be worried that our relationship is progressing slower?
TL;DR: | 1) My boyfriend's exes are all trashy. Does this reflect poorly on me? 2) Should I be worried that our relationship is progressing slower than his past relationships? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: COBRA and gaps in coverage.
POST: I was laid off in early February, but just received a good job offer I'm accepting soon. The downside is that their benefits coverage doesn't kick in for 90 days after start date. I received my COBRA benefits package yesterday, so pretty decent timing, but now my severance is running low enough to the point I'll just have everything covered until my first new paycheck.
So I'm hesitant to buy into the COBRA. I'm fine with the idea of floating without insurance for a couple months, but I wanted to make sure I'm covering relevant contingencies.
1) Not buying into COBRA would make a 120 day gap between ending insurance with previous company and new coverage.
Is this relevant at all for the new employer-provided insurance?
2) If so, or for whatever reason if I wanted to pay for 1 month of COBRA, how would that be applied - if it was Feb, March, April, June for the gap, and I pay a month, is the assumption that payment applies officially starts from date of termination, i.e. cover February as far as the gap is concerned? Or does that cover the month in which I pay it?
3) And does that mean the only use is if I had things I need to retroactively cover from February and the rules-based gap? Or can I do it to cover, say, March if I pay into it now?
TL;DR: | Does COBRA only apply from date of termination or to the month in which you pay it, both for medical coverage and covering the gap between having insurance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25F] might have insinuated that my girlfriend [26F] is a burden
POST: We've been together for almost 2 years, and are making plans for moving in together, getting engaged, etc., etc.
Due to our mutual career paths, I'm on track to be making CONSIDERABLY more money than she will. Which I'm 100% fine with, I knew that when we met, it's never been a problem for me, she loves what she does, and I would never, ever want her to work a job that makes her miserable solely to earn us more money.
Last night we were talking about how stressed we are right now with our finances, and what we need to do financially, to take forward steps. The conversation, direct quotes:
>"I'm aware that you're making about as much as you'll ever make, and that's fine. Nearly all of our financial future is my burden to carry. It's on my mind constantly, and it's scary."
.
>"Sorry. Didn't know I was a burden. Ouch."
I certainly didn't mean that SHE is a burden, in hindsight I can see how it could read that way. Now she's just hurt and pissed and won't listen to me try to explain myself. I kept trying to explain, but she's so hung up on the word "burden." Later she said, "Please refrain from using the word burden when we're discussing my part in your future."
I feel awful. But at the same time, the fact is, I do have the larger earning potential, and I'm fine with that...but sometimes I DO get overwhelmed, and I do think I should be able to talk to her about that. ESPECIALLY once we are living together/married and our finances are way more intertwined than they are now.
I want to figure the money issue out sooner rather than later...before it becomes a huge issue. I need to apologize AND have a constructive conversation about our money/finances in the future.
TL;DR: | Inadvertently insinuated my girlfriend is a financial burden while talking about our future, not sure how to resolve the issue and have a constructive conversation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: After my ex (M/22) left me (F/22) we kept seeing each other. Today he wanted me back but told me he kissed someone else
POST: So quick backstory, we dated 2 years. He was a lovely guy, he also happened to be my first. About a month ago out of the blue he dumped me which turned into a messy breakup because he didn't know why he felt different but he did. But we didn't stop contact either, we kept texting, met up a few times but every-time we talked it was very emotional and he was clearly struggling
So today we met again for a date to decide if we wanted to try and fix things. Turns out he kind of freaked out at dating for 2 years, his last girlfriend of 3 years cheated on him and just completely broke him down. He went into a defence mechanism with us and shut me out which I know he does because I experienced it a little start of the relationship. But then he told me last week he went out and got REALLY drunk and kissed a girl. He doesn't remember much but remembers it being a light peck and calling this girl my name before freaking out and leaving the club.
He realised what he wanted once he realised he had lost me. He had so much regret on his face and looked me in the eye and told me he never ever would again. We both cried and hugged before going our separate ways.
Like what is a girl to do, I've waited weeks for him to come back to me, i truly loved him so much. We have a lot of history together. I know no one can tell me you should take him back or you should leave him because everyone is different but can I just hear your ladies opinions or if you went through something similar?
Also i know we wasn't together but before he went out to this club night we was talking and I did drop in the convo i was worried he would get with another girl (I know I had no right) but he was straight back to me like he wouldn't and doesn't want to get with any other girls. We was supposedly in an awkward stage of working it out I guess
TL;DR: | Me and long term BF broke up. Today he said he wanted to get back with me and he loves me but first he told me he got drunk and kissed another girl a week before coming back to me |
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