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SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My Boyfriend(18M) and I(19F) have been dating for 5 months. I have some Desires and I don't want them to come between us.
POST: Excuse the punctuation and spelling mistakes...
I'm a 19 year old, bisexual, female . Ever since I was 12 I knew I had feelings for other females. I have a lustful desire to feel a deep connection with another girl whether it be romantic or Friendship, One things for sure and thats I want somthing physical to come out of it.
This desire hasn't been fulfilled ... I thought it wasn't that big but it's followed me for the past 7 years and I have barely scratched the surface of it . it somtimes causes problems/concerns in my relationships, its not constantly the cause of break ups or anything but I know that in my current relationship it makes him feel self conscious. I finally found someone who I believe is perfect the only thing I can see having the potential of being a problem in this relationship so far is me and my desires
He's upset that "he's not enough" and "that I have the desire to be pleasured by someone else"
He fullfills me in Every way that matters and counts. In fact he's the best I've ever had . He satifise me in every way a man possibly can and definitely more ...there's nothing wrong with him ... And I want this relationship to last long . I want to have a serious relationship with him . Without this thing haunting me.
It dosnt ruin us from being together so far but I'm just concerned just cause it seems to be the only thing that truly bothers him and I can't pretend I don't feel this way .
He knows .
And he has a separate Reddit post asking for his own advice on the topic
TL;DR: | I (19F) don't want my desires for women to come between my boyfriend (18M) and my relationship . |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Am I [32M] crazy for thinking of casually dating a [18F] until we leave to different countries?
POST: She first approached me at a coffee shop about a month ago, and after an hour-long conversation, we surprisingly hit it off and she gave me her number and wanted to get dinner. After three weeks, dinners and plenty of coffee dates later, she upfront told me she acknowledges the age difference between us and told me she wants to see me, but isn't looking for anything serious because: 1) she's a college student, and isn't looking to have a serious relationship until after college 2) she's leaving to London this December for an internship and will be transferring to a different school afterwards.
For my situation, my firm wants to send me to Denmark in January next year and work for our other team, which I accepted. Despite the large age gap and different mindsets, she's absolutely stunning, intelligent, proactive, has her own life, and is sharply aware of her age.
I know giving the whole, "she's very mature for her age," shtick is old, but is it crazy to have a casual relationship with an 18-year old, knowing it is ephemeral? I admit it is very appealing, but I would love having another point-of-view on this. Thanks so much.
TL;DR: | 18-year old girl in college likes me and wants to pursue a casual relationship with me until she leaves to a different country in December. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my bf [19M] 2yrs, maybe its anxiety or depression, but I randomly don't feel the same anymore
POST: I'll keep this short because I posted here before, but my situation has gotten worse. Basically, a few days ago, randomly and completely out of the blue, I started to not feel like myself.
While this includes a lack of motivation, and a overwhelming feeling of apathy toward things like school work, getting out of bed etc., I all of a sudden don't feel the same as I did toward my bf.
We broke up once in the past because his feelings for me dissipated quite rapidly, but we got back together a few months ago. For some reason, I randomly just feel completely empty and depressed.
It's terrifying feeling like I may not have those feelings anymore...I talked to him about it and he understands, but our conversation sounded like we had already broken up.
I don't want to throw away a great relationship if this instance was the cause of something mental (i.e severe anxiety or possibly a new emergence of depression, etc). Has anyone out there had this happen? I'm terrified I'm going to make a choice in the wrong head space and regret it. And I'm terrified that I won't recognize this for what it really is, and ignore treatment if it's needed.
TL;DR: | I randomly feel completely apathetic toward everything, including my relationship. Does this ever happen to anyone else, and if it does, should I be more worried about something wrong in the relationship, or with my mental health? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Dont know what to do now [20M]
POST: So first off I'm sorry for the big wall of text, i just need to get all this off my chest.
I have this friend, we are both 20 years old. we have known each other for around 6 years and i consider her as one of my best friends and she is someone who is very special to me. Now the thing is i like her and i have liked her for months now, well before the beginning of this year. we used to talk every day and there was nothing we wouldn't or couldn't talk about.
At a new years party this year (the one just gone) we kind of "got together" we didn't sleep together but we both know we could have we both just agreed we were too drunk and stuff, i also told her that i liked her and she said she liked me back, so after that i message her as normal and i asked her out, but it turns out she is "kinda" seeing someone else at her university, so we had a big conversation about it and decided to just be friends, due to that we started talking less and less.
Turns out this dude completely screwed her over and dumped her in a massively uncool way and because we didnt talk as much she never told me and i feel really guilty that i didnt help her feel better after that.
my friend had a bbq last Saturday and she was there too, and we kinda got together again and we were sitting together for hours and she told me that she has always had a soft spot for me and that she has liked me ever since she met me, the thing is that she is moving away to Canada in less than a month, she asked me if she could see me again before she leaves and i really want to see her but I'm really confused on what to do shes someone very very special to me and i don't want to end our relationship but i still really like her and i wish she wasn't going.
Any help? if you want me to explain any points further let me know.
This is my first time posting so sorry if anything is wrong, Thanks
TL;DR: | My friend and i have been getting together in a sense for a while and she told me she likes me but shes moving away and i dont know what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Girl of my dreams is into pain and I'm non-violent, how can we make this work?
POST: So I'm a junior in college and I haven't dated anyone since I've gotten onto campus. It's not that I haven't been trying, but because I've been getting turned down, 'friend-zoned', or they are already dating other people. Towards the end of my freshmen year, I was talking to this one girl a lot. We both liked each other but lived about four hundred miles apart from each other. With the end of the semester coming, we decided to hold off dating until we came back. We didn't really talk over the summer and we were didn't see each other most of sophomore year.
Toward the end of sophomore year, we started talking again and began smoking together (we're both 420 friendly). We hung out, but it wasn't like the connection we had the previous year. This year, we have been hanging out and talking right away, even though she has been really busy with seminar work and whatnot. Last night, she opened up to me for the first time since freshmen year and did this by telling me her sexual fantasy... dominatrix.
Now I haven't dated anyone in a long time, but I haven't had a lot of sex either. In the past six years, I've had sex once... so when it comes to new things in sex, I'm a little inexperienced. She kept asking me if I would slap a girl in the face if it turned her on. I said I might but would partially feel guilty because the thought of that seems a little harmful. But she's into that, but it is still strange for me because I'm not a violent person. So basically the girl of my dreams is heavily a dominatrix and I'm having worries that because I am not a 'violent' person could make her unsatisfied during sex. Is there any way of making this work?
TL;DR: | Girl I have connected with for a while told me she's a dominatrix and I'm nonviolent and feel guilty hurting her even though she's turned on by pain. How can this work? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] need help proposing to my _GF__ [26 F]
POST: Hello,
I am planning on proposing to my gf in a couple weeks. It is our anniversary weekend, and we are going on our annual camping trip. I would like to do it there as it's a special place for us.
My 2 concerns are:
- it's camping so obviously a dirty situation. (I was thinking of bringing purell to give her right after showing ring so she can put it on with clean hands), but still feel like she won't be able to wear it all the time on the trip when she most likely will really want to.
- We are going for an anniversary dinner the night before we leave for camping. I feel like she will be expecting something there, and don't want to give her the ring then (I really feel like camping is more special to us and unique).
Should i get her a whole other decoy gift? The thing is it would have to be nice enough for a big anniversary, but already spending a lot of money on ring.
How can I not give a gift without either looking like an asshole, or giving it away that proposal is coming?
Any advice on either of my two concerns would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks :)
TL;DR: | Want to propose camping, the night after anniversary dinner. Worried about dirty situation camping, and expectation of gift at dinner before proposal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: girl (F19) would rather have a date night at my(M20) house than hers.
POST: So I have been seeing this girl for a little while now and we have went out 2 times and have class together twice a week. We really seem to have good chemistry and felt a strong connection, we held hands and kissed on the first date ect. but i am kind of confused by something.
Since we are both in school i though a good idea to save money would be to rent a movie, and since she does not have a car right now so I though it would be ok to go over to her place to watch something. But she said that she would rather come over to my house if that was ok with me and wants to meet my parents. I guess im just kind of confused as to why she would rather come over to my house, or is this normal?
TL;DR: | Girl im dating seems like she doesn't want me to come over to her house to hangout, but she wants to come over to mine and mee t my parents... Is this a good sign or a bad sign? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you manage your hopes/expectations? (How do you restrain optimism?)
POST: I am always too optimistic about things. I get a job interview, and until that interview happens and I get rejected, I am fantasizing about getting that job, what it would be like, etc. I honestly believe that it will happen. The same thing happens when I meet a guy I like. I think, "For sure this is it!" And until he starts dating someone else, I'm still thinking that. I have a hard time giving up on crushes, even in the face of significant evidence that he is not interested.
I often feel like my optimism borders on chronic denial. It often results in intense and painful disappointment (although the hopeful highs are awesome). Do other people have the same problem? Have you found a way to deal with it?
TL;DR: | I hold on to hope for too long, it is tough on me emotionally. Looking for ways to manage this, or to make myself more pessimistic/realistic. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27F] with my bf [33M] of 3.5 years, are my insecurities justified?
POST: Hi Reddit,
My boyfriend and I have a lovely relationship. But whenever the topic of marriage comes up, things look bleak. In the beginning he was 100% anti-marriage and said he never wants to. I was younger at the time and didn't care. Now as I get older and feel like I could get married, and have told him so.
I told him all this a year ago and he said he is willing to marry me if we wait a few years (for a total of 6-7 years) to make sure we don't fall out of love. A month ago he started going to therapy to talk about why he has such negative feelings about the idea of marriage. He says he wants more reassurance (spending quality time together etc) that we will last before we make a commitment like that. That's great to me. Maybe he means it, maybe he is stalling and really is anti-marriage.
I have never seen him as marriage material and still don't/can't because of that first impression of him as a marriage-basher. He tells me people can change, he has changed (by moving in with me when he thought he would hate it, but ended up loving it). I don't want to put hope in the idea that he can change because I don't want to be disappointed. Because of this hopelessness, I get depressed whenever I think about our long term future. In my mind, if I get married it can't be to him because he doesn't truly want it. It would just be to keep me around.
All of this doubt... makes me feel like our relationship is not as great as I used to think it was. When we don't have this one problem, everything is AWESOME. But whenever this comes up, I get super depressed about it because I remember how there is probably an expiration date.
I just wonder if.... if we were REALLY in love, wouldn't we have NO question that we could get married and be happy with it? But we both have so much doubt.
What can I do get more level headed? Am I wrong to not have hope? Should I bounce?
TL;DR: | BF can't decide on marriage, I have no hope he will decide yes despite him saying he very well could. Makes me feel like we have a bad relationship because we both can't agree on this big commitment. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [16 M] have a crush on this girl [16 F] but I have trust issues.
POST: So I met this girl online and we've been close friends for a long time. We live pretty far apart (7-hour time difference), so I never really considered getting closer, since it seems like a silly idea. However I somehow ended up falling for her due to her approaching me in that way and we both admitted we love eachother.
While that may sound great, as of recent she's starting acting cold towards me and avoiding conversation on top of the little time we have to talk in the first place. This has happened once before, where she suddenly just started distancing herself from me and ignored me for about 2 months. I have to worry constantly if she even likes me or not, since she keeps ignoring me, but then coming back, expecting me to chase after her again.
The interesting thing is that something similar happened years ago with my best friend, where he kept ignoring me and I forgave him over and over again. This led to me feeling shitty for 3 years of my life, so I'd prefer to avoid that situation from happening again. I ended up cutting contact with him.
Now I've reached a point where I'm trying to avoid getting close to her to not get hurt, but it's really hard since I value our friendship a lot and I still love her. What to do?
TL;DR: | I keep getting hurt by the people I care about the most, but I keep forgiving them which leads to me being depressed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: TIFU by adding 9 people to a private conversation while running
POST: Today, I went running in the morning like I have been other Wednesdays. This week I'm on call for work though so I had to hold my phone in my hand so I can respond to any incidents that may occur (it texts my phone). I'm at mile 4.2 when I realize a notification that a friend of mine that usually never talks directly to me said "hi". I open up my phone and I have added 9 different people to a private google hangout conversation used for gaming. Somehow, while switching hands and just moving around, I managed to add some of the top people in my hangouts list. Mass confusion was had by all and I was very embarrassed. In the future, I will be sure to not have hangouts open on my phone before I run.
[A screenshot of the hangout right after I added everyone.](
TL;DR: | Minor hand movements while running and holding phone added a bunch of people to a private conversation. Being on-call is the worst. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [22/m] It feels like my girlfriend (19/f) tries to make a lot of our kissing overly romantic, when it doesn't feel like it needs to be...
POST: It seems to me [22/m] that oftentimes when my girlfriend (19/f) and I kiss, she tends to act like it's a very romantic thing (the gooey kind of romance),trying to stare deeply into my eyes before initiating the kiss, kissing slowly, leaving long pauses in between kissing, placing her hands on me in a caressing sort of manner (holding the nape of my neck; cradling the sides of my head; etc.).
I love my girlfriend, and I do like her kissing me, but I just feel uncomfortable and like I have to force myself to reciprocate the "mood" that she's feeling. It seems that we don't often just peck each other on the lips. If we're sitting next to each other and chatting, she'll stop and look deeply into my eyes and then slowly move in to kiss me. If we go to give each other a farewell kiss it won't just be a brief kiss, she'll kiss me slowly and meaningfully and pseudo-passionately. This isn't to say that I don't feel passion and romace and deep feeling sometimes and wish to kiss her meaningfully in those moments, but it feels like she thinks almost every kiss (~75%) is a "last moment together" kind of kiss.
I don't know whether I'm being pedantic and unappreciative of what I have, or she is feeling something that isn't quite always there. Please help! :S
TL;DR: | My girlfriend very often wants to romantically make out, when to me it feels unnecessary and I have to force myself into the mood. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it normal for me [18M] to be jealous when my [18F] girlfriend hangs out with her [19M] neighbor?
POST: This might be really stupid, but I thought I'd post it anyway. I started off as work friends with my girlfriend last year and I started dating her this summer, so we have been going out a little over 6 months. I am a senior in high school and she is a freshman in college. She will be home for two weeks for Christmas break. We have gone out three times now since she has been home. I have a bad work schedule this week, so she said we can wait to do more stuff together until after Christmas. She told me she is hanging out with different friends each day, including her neighbor who is a boy. Now I know this boy, and know he has a girlfriend. So why am I so jealous and should I even worry? I feel like I am being too clingy or something. I mean, she has spent the most time with me. I probably sound pretty dumb...
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is home for break, and wants to hang out once with her neighbor who is a guy with a girlfriend. Should I be jealous? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25 M] I called her out (kinda) [26 F]; she says she's sorry but I feel like it's in an awkward place now
POST: We've been dating about a month and a half now. We had been getting along great and had gotten intimate after the 3rd date. We've gotten far enough to the point where we're introducing each other to our own social circles and were texting daily. Earlier this week though, she just stops out of the blue.
Normally I wouldn't be worried about a fade or whatever, if it happens it happens, but we had both agreed in person to go to an event on Friday that I had paid for (Her tix was only $20 but more about the principal) which caused me a bit of concern. So I had sent her a text on separate days just sorta casual small talk to the point she was sitting on 3 text messages. Again, normally I'd be fine with just walking away and be the 'better man' but I felt the need to sorta give her a small piece about not reneging on a paid event like this without warning so late in the game after agreeing especially since it would be difficult for me to find a replacement date on such short notice so I sent her one last text stating such.
Of course, within minutes she replies about how she had been in school all week, she's sorry, and that she really wants to go. I know it's her midterms week but seriously, 3 days to reply to a single text? I'm just not biting fully. I did like her, I could see us getting serious, but at this point a piece of me doesn't want her to come anymore. I know I'm not in the wrong no matter what since I paid for it but I'd hate to renege on the invite since TECHNICALLY she's not in the wrong, not anything I can prove anyway. So I dunno, I don't want to go alone but I don't think anyone else I know would be available for that night. Am I just overreacting?
TL;DR: | Talked a lot, she stopped, I called her out, she wants to come but a piece of me just wants to be done with her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19 M] with [22 F] 2 months I think I'm about to be friend zoned and want to tell her I like her
POST: At the end of April a girl I've seen at school added me on facebook and said I was a babe. We have basically the same personalities and are into the same things. We messaged on facebook for a while and she would frequently use emoticons and stuff. She even said she told all her pals how I'm like the coolest person she ever met.
Fast forward we get together and go on a hike just the two of us. Wasn't officially called a date. We had a good time I didn't push it forward or anything. Few days later we go watch the sunset she said she pushed plans away to come watch it with me and I still didnt make a move. Few days later we go watch another sunset and me being me I still didnt make a move. We hung out yesterday but I still didnt make a move. In a text she sent yesterday she was saying how she was telling one of her friends about our random friendship and thats when it hit me.
I feel like I'm about to be friend zoned as is expected so I think I should make a move before its to late. Only problem is I'm super awkward with this stuff.
TL;DR: | Hung out with a girl a few times, I really like her. About to be friendzoned because I didn't make a move. How do I not let this happen |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [24m] annoyed and confused when my gf [23f] of 5 months calls me by a nickname a (possible) past/present(?) Love interest used for her
POST: I've been with her for around 5 months. She is a wonderful, beautiful and super nice person and I can really see a future with her.
However, recently, she has started to call me by a nickname that a guy uses(d) for her. I know he calls her this because its all over her Facebook profile pictures, he has commented on her photos before we met calling her by this nickname along with comments on how attractive she is. This is all before we met, when she also commented on a photo of him saying that she misses him. He is the only person I know that calls her by this name.
I want a future with this girl but I feel so disrespected and hurt when she calls me this name, but also really confused because she's such a great girlfriend and I don't know what to make of it. I don't want to be with someone who is hung up on someone else. When she says it, i get distant and i dont know if i should bring it up or not. Although, I can't tell if its like she is trying to remember him or if she doesn't think of him at all and it means absolutely nothing and it's just an affectionate word. What should I do? I want it to stop. Am I being stupid?
TL;DR: | my gf calls me by a nickname that a past love interest used for her and it makes me annoyed. Should I tell her to stop? If I do, I will have to bring up what I've seen on Facebook |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Does anyone have experience with managing a remarketing campaign on Google Adwords?
POST: I've started my first Remarketing campaign recently, installed the tracking code on relevant pages, garnered an audience of 500 plus and am now attempting to remarket display ads to my audience. I've created a seperate campaign from my adwords search ads campaign called remarketing. I want my display ads to appear on any site within the Google display netowork but only for those individuals within my remarketing list "audience".
Google gives me two options for this:
Relevant pages across the entire network
Relevant pages only on the placements and audiences I manage
The term "relevant pages" isn't clearly defined, my thinking is any website is relevant if the individual is currently on my remarket list, however my remarketing campaign is not getting any impressions. I know the campaign is working because Websites I visit are displaying the ads for me (as I am one of the individuals on the audience list) but clearly isn't working for others. I am leaning to setting my campaign on the option "relevant pages across the entire network" however I don't want to display ads on irrelevant seo sites with no content and tons of ad space. If I set my campaign to placements and audiences I manage, will google only display ads on sites I manage AND only to the remarketing audience?
Does anyone know the best way to manage this?
TL;DR: | I want to display ads on any site in the display network to my remarketing audience, however I don't want to display ads across the entire network to others. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit... I need your advice
POST: Ohk, so im a bit lost and i dont know what to do. There is a woman who is mid 30's early 40's with two kids who wants me in her panties. I'm 23 (m). She is quite freaking hot, but completely crazy. Now i know that you dont fuck crazy. But what if crazy comes with the best titties ive ever seen? Also Ive been quite sexually repressed most of my life and I feel she could take me to a new level of experience. However, I dont think im experienced enough to get into this type of relationship.
Also, to add to the dilemma I live in a small town where everyone knows everyone elses business and i like to keep things private.
So my question is should i go with it for the mad crazy sex regardless of the fact shes crazy?
Im being pulled in really conflicting ways, trying to keep sane and not do it but I REALLY want to... What would you do? Have you been in this situation before?
TL;DR: | Theres a really sexy but really crazy milf wanting to sex me, but reddit has always taught me not to fuck crazy. What do i do!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20F] with my boyfriend [25M] I think I'm being irrational about him liking other girl's pictures and I need some sense knocked into me
POST: So I've been with my boyfriend for a few months, and he is seriously everything a boyfriend could be, and we're each other's best friends. However, I think I'm being irrational by being upset that he likes another girl's pictures on Facebook.
I'm honestly pretty sure they've never even talked or anything, and he's made it public that he's with me, and he's very loyal, so I have no idea why it's bothering me. I haven't said anything about it because I don't want to sound like a crazy girlfriend. I know that facebook doesn't mean anything, and I'm just being insecure and nuts. Do I actually have anything to worry about or am I just being immature?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is wonderful but I get upset over him liking a girl's picture on facebook. Don't want to bring it up and sound like a crazy lady, am I being irrational? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [23F] gf is unable to help me [23M] pay rent.... $150/month. It is really bugging me.
POST: We recently moved in together and it has been working out fine except this part. She is a student who is student teaching about 8 hours per day.
The thing is all of my student friends are able to pay rent. She doesn't have the best job, but she tends to sit around a lot and sleeps 13 hours per day sometimes.
She basically comes to tell me that every single paycheck is going straight to me for rent, and she isn't really able to afford it.
The apartment is $850 per month. My work pays for 300 of it and I pay 400 on top of that, with her $150 contribution.
Am I being unreasonable in asking her to come up with it despite her complaints of not being able to work? I've been clear that I expect the same amount from her regardless of her student situation. How should I go about telling her this is important?
TL;DR: | GF can barely pay minimal rent, I am upset, and it almost seems like she is taking advantage of me by saying she doesn't have enough money. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [27 M] with gf [25 F] of 6 yrs: miscarriage ruins relationship
POST: hi internet,
throwaway for obvious reason.
i'll try to keep this as short as possible
my gf (25) and me (m/27) have been together for about six years now. earlier this year, we found out that she was pregnant. it wasn't planned, but we were happy, and both very excited about having a baby.
then, 5 months ago, she had a miscarriage. it was such a hard time for the both of us, but we had a lot of help from family and friends, to get through this very difficult time eventually. she even went to see a psychologist.
fast forward to now. she has changed. she's barely talking to me, no kissing, no sex. don't get me wrong, i try to be as understanding and caring as possible, but this really bothers me. i need her. about three weeks ago, i cooked dinner, and wanted to talk to her about this, and us. she said that she just can't have any physical contact. it was all about her. i couldn't take it any longer and left.
i went to a pub, met a few friends, got drunk, and almost cheated on her. i didn't, but i was close to. i left before anything could happen. when i came home, i packed a few things, and before i left, i explained to her what happened, and that i respect her decision, but that i need to get out for a bit. she wasn't shocked, she wasn't sad, she just said:"but you didn't cheat on me, right? so what's the big deal? please stay"
we didn't break up, but i moved to a friends house. yesterday she texted me that she needed to talk to me asap. so last night i went to see her, and she told me that she's fucked one of her male friends. she said, she's terribly sorry, and wants us to still be together. i have no idea, how to deal with all of this shit.
i know that i should leave her... i just needed to get this off my chest.
thanks for reading
TL;DR: | girlfriend had a miscarriage five months ago; no physical contact since then; i moved out, bc i almost cheated on her; she then cheated on me; chances? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] My [19F] three roommates [20F] apparently don't get along.
POST: Original Post:
There's not much to update here, but for those who are interested and those who commented. After three days of awkwardness and living in my room instead of my apartment, along with some incredibly unnecessary subtweets, we have come to some conclusions.
Melissa is the bold one, so after lots of subtweets and anger and yelling across the room and all of my roommates convening to have a conversation about me, she finally opens my door and talks. She explains that she is just hurt that I don't take their advice and don't spend time with them and etc. Conversation is short because Ashley comes walking in all happy that we're talking and wants to play with my dog.
Janice does not come out of her room and instead texts me to say that she isn't talking to me because she doesn't care about what I have to say or about me in general/will talk about me behind my back/does not want to be friends. I thank her for at least being honest and leave it at that.
I will have to live here until July due to my lease/contract, but I am looking into places to move into in August. I have another friend I could room with, or I might just live alone. I'm not sure yet. But thanks for listening when I had this problem.
TL;DR: | Melissa explains her side and decides to remain friends, Ashley likes puppies, Janice doesn't like me, I'm noping out of here ASAP. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] with my [25M] two years-almost dead bedroom.
POST: We have a great life together otherwise. We own a house together- He loves my son and my son loves him. Most of all- He's very sweet and takes great care of me.
About a year ago I got two hits on my internet account for downloading porn. He had been downloading it and forgot that they keep track of that stuff. Three strikes- you're out forever. I freaked out bc we hadn't been having sex and now I knew why... And my internet was about to be shut off.
We're both attractive. Both fit. Both funny. I am very attracted to him and come onto him all the time.
He said he would stop watching porn. He did and nothing changed. It's been a year and we're in counseling. Still no change. What do I do?
He still masturbates. But, so do I. I'm worried that's becoming an issue? We've only had sex four times this past month. Should I be content with this? I mean- manage my expectations a bit more?
I love him. Not leaving. Looking for ACTUAL advice.
TL;DR: | My SO and I are having difficulty making the magic happen. In the bedroom. No porn. I'm not leaving and I need ACTUAL advice. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[26M] she is[25F] just started seeing her and I had to move
POST: Hey guys so I got out of a LTR about a month and a half ago. Met this new chick on OkCupid. We lived in the same city so we were able to meet up and hang out. Unfortunatly I had already made plans to move to another city 3hours away. I told her this asap and she was pretty upset about it, as was I.
Now I'm in this new city and I feel like shit most of the time. We've been talking via facetime and phone calls for the last two nights since i've moved. But I really miss being able to see her in person. I'm not sure if she feels the same way though.
Currently she is trying to move here but not because of me but due to the many job opportunities that are here. She got fired recently from her last job and has been working as a barteneder at a pretty shady joint. I fairly sure that should she get a job where I'm living that the relationship will continue to progress but at the moment theres nothing we can do.
Not sure what kinda of advice I'm looking for just needed to type this out really.
TL;DR: | Met a girl on OKCupid, moved 3hrs away. Feel like shit don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I [18/m] feel like my girlfriend [17/f] has replaced me.
POST: I've been with this girl for over a year and a half and we've been each other's #1. She's broken my trust a few times in the past, but I've been able to forgive her and she's rebuilt my trust in her. However, she met this new guy (who is 22) over a month ago at her theatre and all she does is talk about him. I didn't really care about it at all at first, but it's getting on my nerves now since they've started being flirty with each other and my girl seems to be very attached to him. I spent the day with her yesterday and the entire day she was just texting him. She's very warm towards him, while she's gotten cold towards me. I feel pushed away and she acts like I'm just an acquaintance and she acts like he is her boyfriend. She told me herself she's always hugging him. Any advice on how to approach her about this or what to do?
TL;DR: | girlfriend befriended a dude a few years older than her; she is always talking to me about him and how much fun they have together. Getting on my nerves and I'm unsure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/self
TITLE: Help with a really hot apartment.
POST: I live in an apartment that was built above a small warehouse/office. It's an older apartment, but it's big and the rent is really cheap. For the most part I really like it, but it get VERY hot when the A/C is not on. In the winter or any kind of weather 75 degrees F or below it's fine, but now that summer is coming around its getting almost unbearable. It's older so there are only two window A/C units. One in the bedroom and one in the living/kitchen area. When they're on the apartment cools down to around 70-75 degrees F and its fine. At night I don't want to leave them both on, so I just put the one in my bedroom on. It works for the most part, but it's old and REALLY loud. I usually wake up in the middle of the night and have to turn it off it's so loud and then I wake up in the morning burning up. The thing works so I can't really ask my landlord to get a new one.
What can I do do help cool my room down at night?
TL;DR: | My apartment is above a warehouse/office and gets really hot. My window unit in my bedroom is so loud I can't sleep with it on, but it's too hot to sleep when it's off. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by not finding the corpse
POST: I FUCKED UP REDDIT. I FUCKING FUCKED UP. THIS IS WHAT I GET.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
A spider came down on his web from my ceiling and ONTO MY FUCKING LAP PILLOW. He landed on the pillow and began crawling across it, I was frozen in place unable to fucking move by this unsettling and surprising move.
Out of a rush of panic and delirium i used MY FUCKING HANDS to squish him into the pillow. But the pillow isn't a hard surface, there isn't enough surface friction there, I don't know if I killed him because I CANT FIND HIS GUTS OR CORPSE.
And to make matters worse I think he is a spiderling babe, so THERES PROBABLY MILLIONS OF THEM PLOTTING REVENGE.
I'm so fucked reddit. I gotta burn my apartment down. MY CAT IS NO FUCKING HELP. FAT CAT ASSHOLE.
I'm gonna try and find him, but my carpet is brown and my shorts/ and recliner are both black. FUCK. I'll try and update as the situation progresses into the early morning. Not sleeping tonight.
TL;DR: | can't find the spider i did or did not kill, may have to leave all my possessions and move...tonight |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19M] gf [19F] went to Cancun without me and now I feel like she owes me something.
POST: My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 10 months now. Near the beginning of our relationship, she planned a trip to Cancun with her friends. I wasn't included since we still were not that close back then. We have been doing great and care a lot for each other.
During her trip on the first day, she went to a party, got very drunk, and hooked up with another girl. She messaged me after saying how sorry she was and guilty she felt. After a lot of talking about her drinking and what she did, I forgave her.
For the past week, she has been going to clubs every night and getting back around 2 or 3 am. I trust her and her friends a lot and I really do not think she would intentionally cheat on me. She has, however, been drinking a lot and that is very obvious when she messages me when she returns from the club. I have voiced how uncomfortable I am with her going out and how worried I am (she is the type of girl to be hit on by all the guys around her). I know it is unfair for me to tell her to not go out so I just tell her to have fun and be safe. Again, I really do trust her but I still can't stop being worried.
Today I told her about the heavy feeling I get in my chest when she goes out and she apologized for making me feel that way. I feel bad for making her feel this way but there's nothing I can do to get rid of my thoughts, I'm just a worrier type. She continued to go out and said she would message me when she gets back. Although I know it is very unfair for me to not want her to go out, I feel like she owes me something now. She knows just how uncomfortable I am and went out for 5 nights in a row.
Is this feeling that she owes me justified at all? How do I get rid of this feeling?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend went to Cancun without me and has been clubbing every night despite knowing how uncomfortable I am. Now I feel like she owes me something |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: (M25) what's a good way to keep a long distance relationship from getting stale with (F27)
POST: Me and this woman have been friends for a long time and use to go out back in high school but broke up due to people conspiring against us. We learned the truth of it got back in touch with old feelings and we are making it work. We skype almost every night. We text everyday and talk on the phone at least once a day. But I'm worried things could get stale and I don't want that. I really like her a lot and I'm doing as much as I can to make it work. I'm planning on going to see her once a month from where I stay at (it's a six hour drive) and hopefully more than once but my schedule right now doesn't allow me to do it more than once at the moment. But I would just like suggestions as to keep it fresh. I'm open to any suggestion. I want to keep her for the long haul and I need your help please.
TL;DR: | Old flame and I are trying to make it work with a LDR and need suggestions to keep it from going stale. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Need advice on insecurities and worries in relationship
POST: I (28) need some advice. I am having trouble dealing with some of the items of my BFs(29) past. And, I'm feeling hesitation or reservations from his side on really progressing the relationship.
1) I know he was dating/hooking up with other people very close to the time we got together. He claims he wanted something real, but I know he made out with another girl as close as a week before we started dating. That makes me feel like he was lying about what he really wanted, or just is taking what he can get (or did). I don't know if this is my own insecurity or if there is a bigger problem about his views on committment. He says he is 100% committed, but how can he have done such a 180?
2) We have been together almost two years, and neither of us has said I love you. I have felt it, but held back for fear of rejection or an uncomfortable response from him. He hasn't said it. He seems to get uncomfortable when other people use it to describe us in various ways. I haven't asked directly about this (should I?) but I have said I think he is guarded about his feelings.
We had a rough time for a bit, and he refers to that as keeping him at a distance. That happened months ago, so I feel that he just isn't really into us, is settling, and will realize that in a couple years and suddenly dump me. He claims that he is emotionally scarred from his last break up (over three years ago) but hasn't really dealt with it, and he won't talk much about why. I feel like that is enough time to get over a bad relationship, and that he is just using that as an excuse for his feelings of uncertainty.
All in all, we are compatible, enjoy spending time with each other, and are mutually supportive. My mild insecurities are inflamed when I think about the length of time we've been together and lack of some of the real serious discussions. We do live together but talking beyond that gets kind of pushed aside and "we will see where this goes"
TL;DR: | I'm insecure about my relationship, my BFs actions don't help me feel secure because he doesn't seem 100% into the relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] with my GF [27 F] of 4 months, she basically stood me up
POST: So I met this girl during the summer we hit it off. Thing is, she lives out of state so come mid August we do the whole LDR thing.
Everything was pretty normal for an LDR relationship. We kept in touch via messaging, phone calls, Skype.
Anyway, fast forward to last week, I finally find time to visit her. Planned it about a month in advance to spend a week with her. I get there, we have a great time. Thing is, she has to work the night before I leave. That's fine, I understand people have priorities. We agree to meet at a cafe for breakfast before I catch my plane.
She didn't show up.
I called and texted all morning for about an hour and she finally messaged back that she wanted to sleep in for another 15 min and then she'll meet me. I say okay, and wait.
Nothing happens, she doesn't show up, she doesn't answer calls. I get on my plane and leave.
She calls me that night and apologizes that she worked really late last night and was really tired and wanted to sleep in. I was pretty mad, told her how I felt and how it's shitty to basically ditch your boyfriend. Had a long argument but we were still on good terms. I told her I understood that she made a mistake and to never let that happen again.
Now that I'm home, I tell my friends about this and all of them are telling me to break it off with her. They say she doesn't really care about me and I should break it off before it gets worse.
The thing is... I don't know. I actually believe my girlfriend that she was probably needed more sleep. I mean, I believe in second chances and that people do make mistakes sometimes.
I don't know Reddit. Are my friends right? Am I just a pussy-whipped sucker who should break things off before it gets worse? Or should I give this girl a second chance?
TL;DR: | Visit my LDR GF. We hangout all week, but she sleeps in and ditches me on the last day. Should I break up with her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I asked my room mates to leave, should I feel bad?
POST: So...I made a throw away because I know they are occasionally on reddit, or their friends or family might be.
Backstory:
My wife and I moved in apt. to move in with some friends to help save money before a big move at the end of the year. The situation was beneficial for both parties.
From day one there has been personality conflict between my wife and the other couple. With several periods over the last few months of immense tension going through the house. Usually this was over things like asking for permission for food/movies, but not limited to personal space issues.
To clear the air, I pay(note I said "I") 2/3's the rent, while they pay 1/3. This was because my goal was to say everyone money to begin with. Other than their room, and their bathroom, the home furnishings were ours, they supplied some kitchen items, and some decor, but the rest was ours.
Anyways, there was a final personality conflict, and I decided that I can not live with the tension all day. Between a 40-50hr workweek and part time in school, I do not need the tension, so I made the command decision to ask them to leave.
They have found a place and are in process of leaving but I feel like I have ruined someones life. They do have a place to go, and will be paying less than here, but I feel like the biggest douche in the world.
Should I feel this way? I made my decision based on logic, not emotion. I do not want to come home after a 10hr day at work and 4 hours at school to have this crazy tension surrounding me as I cook. Is that wrong?
TL;DR: | I asked my roommates to leave b/c of a personality conflict, and now feel like a douche, but should I? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: My Dad is killing himself, but denies it.
POST: My Dad is 40 years of age, and wakes up at 5am to work ~10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. He comes home and continues to do unfinished work from 4pm+. When he comes home he is stressed, therefore drinks between at least 5-10 cans of lager a night, also smoking 10+ cigarettes a day. What's worse is he's smoking them without using a filter. On his days off (rare occasion), he still continues to work for the majority of the day, otherwise he sits in a chair and plays on his
TL;DR: | 40yo Dad overworks, drink 5-10 pints a night and smokes 10+ unfiltered cigarettes a day, does no exercise and denies he's basically killing himself. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is it unreasonable for me [22/f] to not want the guy I'm dating [21/m] to talk to his ex [who cares/f]?
POST: I've been seeing a guy for three months. We're not like "official", but I really fucking like him. He is so kind, being around him is intoxicating, the sex is magnificent, I adore him. However, he's still getting over an ex.
I am usually not the type of girl to hate guys' exes. But this girl (whom I've had no communication with) is driving me crazy, or driving him crazy, or one of those. I have no doubt that she's pretty or competent or talented or whatever, but whenever he thinks about or talks to this girl, he goes into some self-hatred spiral, disappears, doesn't talk to me, etc.. I feel like the narrator in Jolene.
I would be okay with them getting back together if she didn't seem to make him feel terrible. She's the type to post like Marilyn Monroe "if you can't handle me at my worst" quotes on her Facebook (btw girl it's because you're apparently the worst ALL THE TIME). I don't want to offer an ultimatum and be like "it's her or me", but at the same time, AAARRRRRGH, I kind of want to.
TL;DR: | I want to offer support to the guy I'm dating, but if he keeps talking to his ex, I'm going to turn into an axe murderer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with close friend [20 F] who recently broke up, showing signs of interest in each other, but I feel like she's playing around. Is it worth it to wait?
POST: I met this girl, for the purposes of this post I'll call her Ally, for half a year at university. Throughout the last semester, we've talked a lot through text and in person (hung out several times.). I saw her purely as a friend this entire time until recently after her breakup. Since we talk a lot, I've been there to talk with her whenever she seemed sad or what not.
Recently I've developed feelings and we've been flirting with each other for a while now. At the same time, I've kept the entire situation of her recent breakup in mind, and I told her at one point that I didn't want to play around with feelings and that we should both stop talking for our benefit. She told me the day after that while she tried to stop talking to me, she couldn't do it so we ended up falling back to flirting with the exception that she now knows I like her.
That being said, she still plays around. In the sense that she wants me to say "I'm going to be your bf" or "Be my gf", but she playfully says she's going to find another boyfriend when the year starts. I understand that this time is probably a very confusing time for her, but I told her several times I don't appreciate people playing with feelings. From my perspective, I currently feel as if she's latching onto me because the school semester hasn't started and I'm there as a daily support. Is it even worth it to try and wait and since I still have several years in university to just look for someone else? I know it sound selfish, apologies ahead of time.
TL;DR: | Met this girl in uni. She had recent breakup. Flirting with each other. Feels like she's playing games. Pursue or not? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What if we just ignored bad musicians? Hm?
POST: Wouldn't we be happier that way? Or are we just head over heels in love with hating stuff? You know who I am talking about. They are popular, pretty mediocre, and come up in almost every conversation about music. And frankly, they aren't trying to craft high quality music. They are *not* bad artists, because they are not artists at all. They are trying, quite successfully, to make money in the music industry. They are good business men/women in the entertainment industry, nothing more, nothing less. So, can we just give them a little nod of approval for their business acumen and maybe spend a little more time talking about good music?
TL;DR: | It was just a hypocritical and self-indulgent screed. I am sick of wasting my fucks is all... |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I, [15M] have no idea how to approach, and generally no clue, how to try to get to know this girl.
POST: Okay, so I haven't posted on Reddit in a while, I've been on a habbit of lurking, but I come seeking advice. I'm 15 years old, and I've never really been interested in dating, or meeting new people for that matter. I've always stuck and hung around my close friends since childhood, and barely go past that borderline to try meet new friends. It's fairly easy for me to strike up a conversation with any guy, but whenever I try talk to a girl, I really start to hesitate, and kind of just abandon ship, I even have problems talking to some of my female friends.
I've been in classes for about a month now, and recently, I've seen this girl in one of my classes, Desktop Publishing, and she seems really nice. She has a lot of the same interests in me, and overall just seems like a nice girl, to be friends with, and possibly have more than that. Thing is, just yesterday, I was walking along side her in the hallway, and was going to try talk to her, but I realized she had headphones on, and was quickly demotivated and walked off without a word. I also hesitate to confront her in class, as she has a lot of guy friends, and it kind of, well, I guess shies me away.
Thing is, I'm not the most fit of guys, I'm very "husky", I'm at least 200 lbs, though I'd say I'm not incredibly overweight, either. To add onto that, I'm incredibly shy, and awkward. At a young age, it was at a point where I'd go completely silent when a girl I'd like would try talk to me. I would just like some kind of advice, on how to get over my shyness/awkward ways, and how to possibly approach this girl, in a not so creepy, and pushy manner.
TL;DR: | I'm a husky, shy and awkward dude, and I need some help/advice on how to approach a girl for the first time, without seeming weird and creepy, through a 1-1 manner. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I can't stand my husband's brother.
POST: We (husband and I) share a house with husband's brother (BIL) and his wife (SIL). My husband is in school full time and working full time. His days start at 6am and he gets home at 9pm on weekdays. Weekends, we clean office buildings together for extra money. If he's home, he's doing homework, working out, or working on one of our piece of crap cars.
With that said, I take care of all the cooking/cleaning for us since I have much more free time than him. When we first moved in with bil/sil, bil would at least cook his own breakfast/do laundry/work out (we have a gym set up in our garage). But it has slowly become him doing just doing his own laundry and that's it. His wife does literally everything else. He comes home some days at 1pm, naps, and then goes out with friends while sil stays home with their baby. He literally does nothing, and orders his wife around like a maid. He calls for her and if she doesn't come running instantly, she's met with a temper tantrum.
He hangs out with guys 10 years younger than himself because he thinks they "need guidance" but he treats his own brother like crap and never offers any kind words or time when my hubs is struggling.
He's also a hoarder and keeps garbage. He has a collection of beer bottles he's going to "make into drinking glasses." I finally cleaned out the garage of his crap, recycled an old sink, put the stack of pallets in the driveway, and piled up the random junk they will probably never use. The pallets are still in the driveway (a month later) because "he's going to use them."
He is also using one of our vehicles and doesn't take care of it. Hubs does all the maintenance and BIL won't even tell us when things go wrong, he just keeps driving it.
TL;DR: | His demanding attitude towards his wife, his condescending attitude towards my husband, his laziness, hoarding, and pridefullness make me hate him more and more every day. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [24 M] girlfriend [24 F] of 6 months has never been in a real relationship. How do I get her to open up and trust me more?
POST: I've been dating this girl for about 6 months now and we've been officially together for about 2 months. I've been trying to take things extra slow with her (hence 4 months of dating) because she just seems uncomfortable with any sort of closeness.
The only way I know that I'm special to her are my short talks with her roommates. She's never brought anyone around in the two years they've known her and she talks about me to all her friends and her parents. She just won't tell me any of this directly.
The start of this aversion to closeness seems to be that she was date raped when she was 18. I haven't really probed into the story too deep so I don't have many details on this, just that it happened.
My question is, what should I be doing to keep moving forward? I'm very patient and am in no way trying to break her shell immediately, but I'm wondering if I should be pushing the issue more than just ignoring it and let her open naturally (what I'm doing currently). Should I ask more about her rape? Should I be trying to get closer myself?
Another point to make is that we haven't had sex yet. I've been very patient in trying to make sure she trusts me before any of that happens so we can have the best possible experience. Should I be pushing this more as well? Every once in a while when we get hot and heavy I ask if she's ready to move to the bedroom and she says "Yes, but No". I say OK and we keep mackin'. Is this too much or should I just keep this up too? How many questions are allowed in these posts?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend was raped 6 years ago and doesn't trust to get close in a relationship. / How do I keep us moving forward? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Need help with getting holding deposit from a shady real estate agency (London, UK)
POST: Together with my girlfriend we paid a holding deposit (£1300) for an apartment for rent, but the agency turned out to be very shady. They are overall slow, unprofessional, hard to contact and very poor with communication. After taking very long with the referencing (they did it themselves and appear to be doing it poorly, as some of our referees never received any correspondence from them), they demanded more money for holding the property over 3 weeks, or sign the contract 2 weeks ahead of agreed moving in date. None of this was mentioned or specified in any paperwork they sent us. After my refusal to make any additional payments they "are doing me a favour" by not charging extra, but want to sign the contract ASAP. Because they are supposed to manage the property for the landlord, we feel that they would provide a horrible service and I don't want to rent the apartment any more. Unfortunately if I cancel the deal I loose the holding deposit.
How can I submit a complaint, or convince them to give me the holding deposit back? I tried looking them up on the ombudsman services (tpos.co.uk and ombudsman services: property), but they don't appear to be registered there.
TL;DR: | how can I cancel signing a contract with a real estate agent and get the holding deposit back on account of them being shady and unprofessional as hell? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [28 F] with my husband [36 M] of 10 years. I suspect cheating but I'm not sure.
POST: I'm having to rewrite the entire thing because I dont know how it all got deleted a moment ago. Anyway, I've had a bad feeling for a few weeks now and they only intensified when I noticed he has been deleting texts.
He has a female coworker that he goes to dinner with on his late day at work. They also exhange flirty and joking text. They share some inside jokes over these messages. Yesterday he text her after he dropped me off somewhere. He drove around with the kids sleeping in the car and sent her text messages until I called him to pick me up. I noticed previously he has deleted random threads of text but left others. He rarely calls her from his cell phone and when he does the call is a minute or two long.
Am I over reacting? This entire thing is making me extremely uncomfortable. I have a bad feeling like something is going to happen or is already happening.
I dont have much else besides what I've said. I've looking into our banking, and looked in his car for reciepts. I've thought about following him on his late days but I can't with two kids under two. Plus, I'm positive he would notice a car following him. Should I keep trying to find more info? Should I try to talk to him or give him more rope and see what happens? Am I over reacting? It didn't bother me he was having dinner with his coworker until I saw the flirty jokey type texts and the deleted text messages. Plus he only text or talk to her when I'm not with him.
TL;DR: | Suspect husband of cheating or about to cheat. Not sure if I should talk to him or wait and see what happens. Not sure what to do to get more info. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Do I let it rest?
POST: Hello relationships. I (21m) just had my gf (21f) of 2.5 years break up with me. We were very serious and had even talked about getting married. About a week and a half ago her stepmother died. She has spent the entire last week with her now widowed dad. Now the day before she comes back she breaks up over the phone. She tells me she wants someone who actually enjoys spending time with her family. I have been resistant in the past to spend weekends at her house, I favor just spending weekends with her(I still like her family though). She says her decision is final, but we actually had an amazing relationship and idk if she made the decision out of grief. I don't know if I just accept my fate, but I don't want to, I think we can still be together. I think this isn't an insurmountable issue, but she is stubborn. And gets more stubborn if you try to argue with her. I don't know what to do.
Additionally I have struggled with depression in my life and I don't really have a friend base outside of my girlfriend. I am very very lost right now.
TL;DR: | girlfriend broke up with me for weak reason during time of grief. Do I accept my fate or try to get her back somehow? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20M] with my girlfriend [18 F], (2 year relationship) im a clingy, easily grumpy annoying boyfriend and we are going through a break right now.
POST: Hello /relationships,
Please know that writing this isnt easy for me, and that English is not my main language.
things havent been working out lately, we would argue about the smallest of things, while i have been confused as to why, I recently found out its me.
To sum it up and to grab from the list she made of my negative aspects,
I am easily upset, small things stick with me through the day
I am too clingy with her, in the sense that we talk too much (instant messaging)
I dont initiate things (such as holding hands)
There is no passion
And, apparantly i set up these little expectations all the time (she will do this, or that)
We are going through a break, its been 2 weeks right now and there is about a month and a half left. I want to improve myself, truth is i really really love this girl and i know she also loves me, because she told me she loves me but gets hurt.
I need pointers, or someone who has gone through the same. Just to give an example of something stupid i did recently
I knew she was at work, so when i saw she was online i told her that i was worried about her and am glad she was back safe, and that i would go to sleep. She then said something among the line of : ok goodnight. This triggered my annoying self and before i knew it i said ''i would appreciate some manners, ok's are pretty hurtful'
She told me that her brother said ''quit with what you are doing now'', i guess he made sure it wouldnt escalate.
Typing all of this i already feel like a mess.
TL;DR: | Im an annoying, clingy, easily upset boyfriend, I have been pushing my girlfriend away and i want to change. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to kill a bug
POST: This just happened about 2 hours ago it was early in the morning and I was awoken by my little sister who is about 5 years old. She said there was a fly in her room and wanted me to kill it. Now I dislike bugs very much but I had to put on my big boy pants and teach my little sister a thing or two about being a man.
Now here is where the fuck up begins. I walked into the room with her when I see that mother bugger flying around it was quite big and was yellow. Me being the brightest individual on this side of the pacific ocean grabbed a towel and a can of compressed air (I was planning to clean my computer as well and thought it would help kill this guy.).
I opened a window so it could fly out on its own but of course it didn't. So I furiously whipped the towel around when it happened to be flying over my little sister. Without thinking I whipped that towel like I never did before then it hit me she was standing right in the way. I could see the white in her eyes as her very short 5 year old life was about to be taken back to Mother Teresa's arms. BOOM WHAP right into the face with the towel. But I couldn't let my sister's sacrifice go in vain so I kept whipping it around. In the end I knocked over a lamp and the fly flew somewhere in my room. Now my sister ain't no average joe she cried a bit but she was furious and punched me in my manhood. It was painful but I knew I deserved it as a single tear dripped down my face.
TL;DR: | Tried to be man in front of my sister, ended up slapping her hard in the face with a towel and lost my pride. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [34 M] with my SO [30 F] 5yrs, am I being unreasonable in thinking rental income is also my income?
POST: Got married 5 years ago and I make 4x what my wife makes via employment income - we both work. We split things 50% (I basically fund most her roth, our trips/expenses/house renovation etc) but she makes 1k/mo on a rental that she thinks is all hers, funds go into a separate account. We recently had a slight emergency which took most of our emergency savings but this "stash" is untouched and she wouldn't make it available if another emergency comes. She thinks of it as a "just in case things don't work out" account so she has some "savings" to fall back on. Granted, things are now rocky in our relationship but this has always been her stance and I'm basically to the point where I feel I should give her an ultimatum of she's either 100% committed to this marriage (our $ is shared) or not and I'm out. I consider my 401k "ours" along with every join acct we have. Is it unreasonable of me to think $ from rental is both of ours?
TL;DR: | SO deposits rental income in private account and I'd like to know if it's unreasonable to consider the income "ours". |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: [CAN] Company is trying to amend my contract midway through my term
POST: I am a teacher at a private school in Ontario Canada.
A standard full time teacher teaches 7 lines but the school issued my contract with only 6 lines. Apparently this mistake was known but no one mentioned it to me. I plead ignorance in that I didn't read my contract clearly when I signed back in September (yes, I know, I'm an idiot).
After noticing the mistake, I brought it to my director who confirmed that it was a known mistake but they weren't going to address it unless I noticed.
I'm 99% sure I'm going to sign the amended contract because I have a new one to sign in September and would like to make sure they actually offer me one.
However, I had asked what happens if I were to decline and was told that the company would try to cancel my contract. Under Terms of Termination in my contract, it says they can fire me with cause, fire me if my position no longer exists, or if it is mutually agreed.
When I pointed out that there is no clause stating that they can cancel without cause, I was told they would try to say that the position of a 6-class full time teacher no longer exists and it is only a 7-class full time teacher.
Looking for suggestions. I don't really know my rights in this situation and don't really want to cause a fuss. On the other hand, my director even agreed that we are not being paid "a fair wage" and that, in the past, they have paid teachers for teaching an extra line.
Help?
TL;DR: | company made a clerical mistake on my contract. Wondering if they could legally fire me if I were to decline signing an amended version. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Have you ever had such an intense emotional experience during a song at a concert you haven't been able to listen to it again? (x post from /r/music)
POST: So I went to a K.Flay concert last week. One of my favorite rappers and artists in any genre. She put on an amazing show, very high energy, very danceable. A lot of fun.
However, I went alone after having a kind of shitty week both personally/relationship-wise and in school. When she performed [Less than Zero] a great song and one of my favorites of hers, the chorus allowed for a great cathartic moment for everyone. The entire audience repeatedly shouted "Stop making me live like this." I felt it really strongly and it was fantastic, just pure catharsis.
However, ever since the concert, whenever I try to listen to the song, I feel incredibly depressed to the point of crying. So many emotions just come rushing back.
Anyway, I just wanted to see if any of you all have felt this before. If you have, have you ever moved on or do you still steer clear of that song?
TL;DR: | Song at concert was cathartic, afterwards same song makes me depressed. Have you had a hard time listening to a song after a concert? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [19F] says my other friend [21M] took advantage of her on a night out many weeks ago
POST: So I'm in my second year at college, and I have these two friends who lived in the same building as me last year. On a particularly drunken night a little while ago, this guy and this girl from my building (who I am now good friends with individually) had sex.
Now it's worth saying that the guy was quite a nerdy/shy guy and at the time the girl was quite embarrassed but shrugged it off pretty easily and they both moved on with their lives, although the guy had a spate when he was interested in being with the girl, although it never worked out. Though he did have a habit of telling loads of people that they'd had sex, further increasing any awkwardness that was already there, which was really bad of him I think.
However, recently, quite a lot later, the girl has come to me really upset saying that she was so drunk on that night that she can't remember any of it and she feels used and hates being around the other guy. She thinks that he pressured he into whatever happened because she was so drunk and couldn't have consented. Now to me this came out of nowhere, but she as really distraught about it, saying it had affected her so much. But on the other hand if you knew this guy you'd know that he is so harmless and awkward that he never would have pressured anyone into anything.
So now I feel like I have to take sides but I really don't know what to do. It just seems to have come from nowhere, but I don't want to discredit this girl just on that basis. But equally, the other guy is my friend and to me seems like genuinely a really straightforward guy, albeit a guy who can be kind of naive and doesn't realise when he takes it too far.
TL;DR: | Two friends at college have awkward hookup, girl is now saying he pressured her into it, unsure how to handle it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with brother's [18F] friend. She has a crush on me...
POST: My brother's 18F friend has recently told my friend that she has a crush on me. We went to the same high school and we share mutual friends. I asked if she would like to go out sometime and she said she would love to.
I got her number and texted her a bit over the course of about 4 days and now she seems really distant. She never initiates conversation and it's making me feel like I'm being played with. I admitted to having a slight crush on her as well and now she hasn't been responding to my texts. What should I do?
TL;DR: | Asked out a girl who had a crush on me. Told her I have a slight crush on her. Now she's being distant. What do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Husband says no to sex 99% of the time. Help?
POST: I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 1. We are 24. The past couple years it has been myself who initiates sex, which he 99% of the time says no. The reason when he says no is usually being tired or not feeling well.
Our jobs require for us to be apart during the week, and when I'm gone he is constantly sending me horny texts, begging for naked pictures, videos, etc., but when I am physically beside him he isn't interested. I look exactly the same (no sudden weight gain for example) and so does he. He tells me all the time how he thinks I'm am beautiful or sexy.
I know the fact he says no to sex is normal once and awhile, but to this extreme I don't know what to do. The only negative thing he says is that he 'has to do most of the work' because I don't like being on top (only because there is no satisfaction for me). I'm not sure what to do about this, I feel if I stopped initiating sex we would have sex once a month, maybe even less. He never used to be this way. I mean if I wore a skirt around him it used to drive him crazy. We had sex 2 days in a row the past couple days, and tonight when I tried to initiate he says, "we've done it twice in a row!". Am I just being a horny mess? Could there be other reasons why he would say no 99% of the time? What should I do about this?
TL;DR: | I am usually the one to initiate sex and my husband says no 99% of the time. Not sure what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Ex-gf called tonight and thought she was raped. Help?
POST: Tonight I was about to go out and my ex-girlfriend (recently broken up) texted me asking if I would talk to her. When I called, she told me that she had spent the night at a dorm room of a guy she met.
I feel it's important to state at this point that she is only 17.
She told me that she had a bit of alcohol and that the last thing she remembered is the guy pinning her down. She said she had hickeys today and that she's not sure what went down.
I told her to immediately go to the hospital and get a rape kit test done. Later she texted me saying that it came back with the results that she wasn't raped.
She's always done irrational things and surrounded herself with the wrong people/environment. I've tried to get her to realize that she's only 17 and that she doesn't know her limitations, but she never listened to me.
So I come asking the few people that are on r/askreddit at this time at night this question: should I tell her mom about this? Her mom thinks the world of her. She thinks that her daughter is an intelligent girl and that's she way more mature than she really is.
I always felt like I was the person holding her back from her careless mistakes, and now that I'm not with her, should I tell her mom to take better notice of where and what she's doing?
I was pretty close to her mom, and I think she'll be oblivious to her daughter's life unless I actually inform her. I'm really conflicted right now and I was just hoping to get some input.
TL;DR: | Ex girlfriend calls, thought she was raped. Wasn't. Should I make her mom aware of her decisions or let it be? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: (Ohio) Wage theft and Recalcitrant employee
POST: I'm located in Ohio and run a small retail shop. We have 4 part time employees, all 60+ retired ladies. One lady has been with us since August. She isn't learning things well (computer related and other skilled job tasks). She also likes to take shop work home to work on. We spoke with her about these issues (again) on Tuesday this week and Friday (whilst both owners were absent) she took more work home.
As I understand it, it is illegal to require an hourly worker to do work at home or in their off time without compensation. Since we have reiterated several times that taking work home is unacceptable are we at risk for any sort of wage theft claim?
TL;DR: | Part time worker takes work home to do, unpaid. Has been told not to multiple times. Are we at risk for a wage theft claim? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [24 M] when to say the L word?
POST: My bf and I have been dating for almost a month but we've known eachother for nearly 2 years. He's wonderful. Kind, funny, respectful, smart, you name it. And he treats me like a princess. I can be 100% myself with him, which is a big deal for me. I'm very introverted and have a hard time connecting w/ people on more than a friendly 5 minute small talk level.
So, I think I'm falling in love with this guy. I think about him all the time and when we kiss my heart goes crazy and my whole body tingles...he really checks all the boxes in what I want in a partner. He's off off handedly mentioned loving me but hasn't come right out and said it. I've had such bad luck with guys turning out to be assholes in the past that I fear telling him I love him at this point will turn him off or scare him away or something since we've only actually been dating a little over 3 weeks.
TL;DR: | My bf and I have been dating a little over 3 weeks and known eachother almost 2 yrs. When should I tell him I love him? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my ex [21M], His comments still upset me 2 years after we broke up. How can I forget?
POST: I had a long term relationship with a guy from when I 17 to 19. Some of the things he said to me still really upset me and I can't forget them. When he broke up with me after one year he said to my face he thought I was unattractive (we got back together after). I also found something he wrote about me saying I was bad in bed and sex with me was boring.
I feel insecure that he was right because every relationship/ dating I've had since has always ended we me being ditched by the other person.
I don't know what I can do to forget these comments. Other people have also made comments about my chubby face and small boobs. I feel pretty unattractive.
TL;DR: | Ex told me I was unattractive and bad in bed. I still feel hurt by what he said and can't shake believing it to be true. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How long does the slutty post-breakup phase last?
POST: So I [15 F] broke up with my boyfriend (15 M) around last week and a lot of my friends have been concerned about how quickly I've moved on and how my behaviour is somewhat too enthusiastic. I'm like ok about what happened I don't really care but I've noticed that I have the need to be overly provocative, like yesterday I ended up giving a very close friend (16 M) a handsy and it was then when I felt as if something was wrong. How long will this need to be a slut last and how can I quickly overcome this.
TL;DR: | Broke up last week, been a slut since, how long will this last and how do I get over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What medical specialist should be visited....
POST: My wife has been experiencing some loss of sensation on her leg. She first noticed it about 5 months ago. When she would shave, it would almost be like pins and needles when she hit the area below the back of the knee. It has since spread in a circular pattern around her leg in that area. Basically a band of "numbness" around the leg.
She went to our GP(who we will be replacing), and he basically said that if it isn't spreading up or down, just live with it.
Should she just go to another GP or is there an appropriate specialist that should be used?
TL;DR: | Wife has numbness around leg below knee, GP says live with it. Go to another GP or is there a specialist that should be visited? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Can therapy help my (F36) boyfriend (M37) with libido/self-worth issues, or is he trying to get me to leave him?
POST: My boyfriend (M37) and I (F36) have been together for 4 months, and our only issue is that he has a somewhat lower libido than me. At first it was a minor thing, because we still have great sex, just not quite as often as I would like. At the very beginning of our relationship he had erectile problems, from anxiety, but it quickly improved. He recently admitted that he has to talk himself into sex almost every time, even though he wants the sex, and enjoys it during/afterward, because he still feels the same anxiety that caused the erectile problems. From my understanding, it's not that he doesn't want me, it's that he doesn't feel worth being treated well and thinks our relationship is too-good-to-be-true. He's had some shitty past relationships, and ours is different from what he's used to, because we have very similar personalities, and our relationship isn't volatile, like ones he's had in the past.
Since admitting this problem to me, he's started the process of getting into a therapist, and I'd like to continue dating him while he tries to work through this, because he's a great person, we get along really well, and we're very much in love.
However, I'm a very forward person, and have been the instigator of a lot of the sex we have, but now I feel scuzzy for having pushed him when he wasn't feeling it, and I think I should back off until he's ready, or asks me to push him for sex more. This also leads me to wonder if he's just not into me sexually, and doesn't want to admit it.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend has to talk himself into having sex with me, even though he always ends up enjoying it. He says it's because of anxiety. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Myself (F28) and my brother-in-law (M30), has he been sending hidden Facebook messages or not?
POST: Okay so this has been going on for about a year and a half. There was a family gathering a year and a half ago and myself and my SO and his brother were there. Both my SO and his brother were drinking heavily most of the holiday. My BIL would do subtle things like always try to get me alone by asking me to go to the store with him, brushing my hand when I gave him keys, and I felt him watching me as I fell asleep on the couch. It finally dawned on me that he had a crush on me (well at least I think he does). He is married and at the time he was on the outs with his SO. As he was saying goodbye to everyone I was the only one BIL didn't hug, I thought that was weird. So I started having crushy feelings too and got on a music app that is connected to Facebook and started to share music with him. I am aware that this was very flirty now but thought it was harmless at the time. So I was just upvoting songs that I like and sharing my taste in music with him when I started to notice a pattern. It seemed that for every song I liked he would post a song or for every message or post I posted he would reply in kind. He would always listen to his kind of music before but now he would listen to my favorite bands. It seemed like he was trying to communicate with me through songs. So I talked to him on Facebook a few times, told him to stop with the songs and he replied with invasive answers not saying he was sending them but not saying that he was and still the songs/messages continued. On my blog it shows that his location is accessing my site so I'm thinking he's looking at it. I have tried to block him on facebok and let go but I am having a really hard time. I really care about him. However, I'm not sure if I'm just crazy and thinking he's sending these hidden messages or if he really is? What do you think? It is driving me nuts not knowing for sure!
TL;DR: | Brother-in-law may or may not be sending me Facebook *hidden* messages?! I want to know for sure but I know that it would be better to just let this all go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my bf [23 M] have been together for 2 years now, we don't fight at all but sometimes he changes his behavior in front of other people (mostly women)
POST: Well, me (21 F) and my SO (23 M) have been together for 2 years now and we haven't had any big fight (actually i can't recall any fight at all), we've gone through misunderstandings that had been fixed on spot but nothing more than that.
My problem is that sometimes (because this didn't happen often) he changes his behavior in front of other people, mostly women. Basically he tries to impress people by acting all nice with them, and he has used different methods that have implied bringing me down (things i do, say or have) to make their (the person he is trying to impress) things look better, I can remember him making fun of me too.
I didn't mind at all before (it rarely occurred), but lately he's been doing it more frequently and it makes me feel very crappy, what makes it worse is that a lot of the times he does this thing are with people he even said he didn't really like and I have heard him badmouth them behind their back when talking about them (more than once).
Most of the times the comparisons are really stupid things but this time I'm taking more of this crap that I'm willing to allow.
I know that maybe this post makes him look bad but he actually is a very caring guy (most of the time), we laugh together, sex is good and we are pretty good friends, so i really want to fix this.
I Find it really hard to express my feelings, i almost never do. I have been thinking about this over and over, it makes me feel unwanted and insecure but i cant bring myself to tell him this.
I'm also worried toward the attitude he will have after i tell him, i don't know what to expect . Reddit, wouldn't be here asking for advise if could, so please tell me what do you think, how should i approach this problem? I need advises please.
TL;DR: | SO acts all nice with people he sometimes badmouth behind their back (mostly girls), he also puts me down to compare me with them. Don't want to break up, Advise please! |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by Getting a new phone
POST: (This happened today, 9/10/15) I normally wake up at around 5 am and the first thing I normally do is check my phone. Well today was different...my phone wasn't charging! no matter what I did,nothing would resolve the issue and I was getting infuriated. After trying a bunch of methods for hours I decide angrily that I would get a new phone...These people wouldn't help me, their excuses were..."oh you should upgrade" ... "We don't know how to do repairs"... "Everything looks fine,nothing wrong with the USB port" & "The phone you have is not in stock anymore" So I dropped a good amount of money to have everything switched over and upgraded....I get my phone and had to go to the bank and do something that should of taken 5 minutes but it took an hour and a half instead. As mad as I was, I went home and playing around with my new phone (which I hated)..my old phone had some battery left so I turned it on so I can use the bluetooth feature to move my contacts over....I don't know why but I put my phone on the charger.... AND A MIRACLE HAPPENED...my phone started charging! So I went back to the Cricket Store for a refund and get everything switched back to my old phone....those pricks gave me only 4/5th of the refund back on my card.Thankfully my phone is back and i'm happy.
TL;DR: | I should of turned the power completely off then on before I wasted my time & hard earn money for something I didn't need. The people who work at Cricket are a bunch of lazy,ignorant, greedy jerks. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (m20) stop feeling this clinginess towards gf (f19)
POST: I wrote something long and ugly here before realising that I could easily simplify this post.
Me and my girlfriend have been together a year now. The transition from our summer days, where we spent the bulk of our relationship, to the days of work and college has been a tough one for me..
- I feel clingy towards my girlfriend because she's way busier (college and work) than I am.
- We see eachother an acceptable amount (once or twice in the week, once or twice in the weekdays). But I miss her WAY more than she misses me. It builds up an irrational paranoia that has the potential to harm the relationship.
- If I try to do something to occupy myself, I just slowly start thinking about her and wondering why she's not texting me and whatever...I just end up getting annoyed at myself....
I know I could talk to her about it, but what purpose would it serve? I'd love to get my feelings out there, but I dont want to put her under pressure (on top of her job/college) to interact with me more just because I'm feeling so clingy..
How would you guys deal with this?
TL;DR: | !; My GF is really busy and I'm not. Paranoia is building because she can't interact with me as much as I can with her. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: me [21 f] can't stop hurting
POST: long story short, I was seeing this guy [21] for almost a year and then randomly one day he stopped talking to me. He was up at school and I went home for a while. We didnt communicate at all for about 8 weeks, I tried talking to him but he just ignored me. We have a similar group of friends, and I saw him at a party when i got back home. We hooked up and he stated that he still wanted to hook up with me, but would be looking for other people to date. I agreed because I missed him so much and was just happy to see him. Then as the week went on, i realized how fucked up it was. When i saw him the weekend after, I drunkly blew up on him saying how fucked up he was. I texted him a couple days later and apologized. No reply. He never replies to me and ignores the whole situation. It has been about 2 weeks that we havent said a single word. We saw each other about a week ago but both ignored our presence. Now im trying to move on, but I cant. Im literally crazy for this kid even though hes done fucked up things to me. I have unwanted dreams about him every night so i wake up every morning and think about him. I just want this to be over or i want to be with him again. I feel like I would do anything to have him back, but im so hurt by him. I dont know what steps to take anymore.
TL;DR: | was with someone, stopped talking to me. Hooked up, said he only wanted to have sex. Want to get over him/be with him again but dont know what steps to take. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] wondering if it's normal not to have a best friend
POST: Hey Reddit,
I'm a 24(f). I would consider myself pretty normal socially, I've always had a wide group of friends, at my last birthday dinner in December I had about 12 people show up. I have a good amount of friends, and good friends, but I don't have that one person who I would consider to be my "best friend." All of my close friends have a best friend, someone who is their go-to person...and that person isn't me.
The last time I remember having a go-to best friend is around the age of 18, and I'd say I consistently had a best friend through childhood.
This typically doesn't bother me, because I have my SO and he is a great best friend, but as our relationship progresses sometimes I think about who I'd want in my bridal party, and I really worry that I don't have anyone who would fit in that best friend, maid of honor slot. Or, when things happen in our relationship, a lot of times I really don't have that one designated friend to call.
I know my friends care about me and if I needed them I could call them and find someone who could be there for me, but I just wish I had that one person and wanted to know if this is a normal thing or if I should be concerned.
I'm actively trying to make new friends and meet new people through organizations to try and fill that slot, but so far I've had no luck so in the mean time I just wanted to get some perspective on my current situation.
TL;DR: | 24f with plenty of good friends but no "best friend", wondering if that's normal or if I should be concerned. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: He (28m) threatened to beat me (28f) but didn't actually do anything.
POST: My partner and I were play wrestling tonight after a few beers. I was on top of him and was playing like I was going to spit in his face. I was completely playful, in line with our playful wrestling mood. However, when spit came up my partner became incredibly upset and angry and said he would "beat me up."
I feel pretty upset and concerned about this because I feel like his reaction was totally out of proportion to the situation and I feel worried about what this may mean for the future. We've been together for a nine years and he's never shown any violent tendencies before.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | partner threatened to beat me up after I jokingly acted like I'd spit on him during play wrestling. Worried and wondering what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: no, I won't check my privilege
POST: I am so incredibly sick of the constant social-awareness nonsense that has come out of my generation (i.e. anyone who is between 18 and 30 and has access to the Internet).
I get that social awareness issues are important and I think that a lot of them have very valid points, but I swear that people go out of their way to LOOK for misogyny and privilege and ageism and all of these things just to have something to harp on.
I recently lost a friend because he felt that I didn't take a strong enough stance on privilege-related issues and I almost went through the roof because I literally just never discuss them because there isn't a way to have a conversation about them without a right-fighter jumping on and tearing down every social institution and person within that institution for being this or that. I am unable to even be phased by the fact that I lost my friend over this because if someone doesn't want to be in my company because I don't search for things to get up in arms over and harp on, they're more than welcome to walk out of my fucking life.
TL;DR: | I respect that there is social injustice and something needs to be done, but you can find injustice in ANYTHING if you look at it hard enough and no one takes the boy who cried wolf seriously. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I Don't Know What To Do About A Highschool Relationship
POST: Hey guys, I need help. Basically, I have two questions to ask.But let's start with a backstory. There was a girl I liked at my high school who was 2 years younger than me, so I started talking to her and so far things are going really well. Here are the two questions. One, is it weird for me to date a girl who is 2 years younger than me in high school? Secondly, there are no parties that we both go to so I can't talk to her then and we have completely different friend groupes so we can't hang, so do you guys think the best thing to do would to go on real dates?
TL;DR: | Is it weird to date a girl 2 years younger in high school and is it too young to go on real dates? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [38 M] with my fiancee [38 F] together 9 months and engaged one, wedding planning has me questioning
POST: I and my fiancee have had what seemed like a storybook romance since we met earlier this year (mutual long-time friends but she and I had never met before). We connected on just about every level, engaged in conversations that lasted to the wee hours (and still do), spent all sort of time together making memories and exploring life, and fell very much in love with each other. Families love each other, friends love each other, and honestly I felt like I had met the one that I could grow old with. I proposed (doing my best to give her the proposal of a lifetime), she accepted, and shortly afterwards started making the initial plans for our wedding.
Since then, I've started to see things come up from the wedding planning that really make me start to wonder if she and I are on the same wavelength. Things that I think are important in the wedding really get under her skin when she has a contrary opinion, timelines shifting do the same thing, and when we have differences of opinion (regarding decor, attire, etc) I feel like my preferences are just "tolerated" when they differ from hers (even though I've in no way insisted that I "get my way" or anything like that, and have stated that there are only a couple things in the ceremony that I feel strongly about but am willing to compromise just about everywhere). I almost get some sort of passive-aggressive vibe, and the feeling that she's trying to repress some kind of underlying anger.
So I guess what I'm looking for help sorting through is my apprehension over these. Is she just going a bit bridezilla on me, or should I be taking these as red flags?
TL;DR: | Perfect relationship, proposed, wedding planning makes me wonder if she's going a little bridezilla or if there are red flags popping up now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Losing Connection.
POST: I'm trying to put this feeling into words as best as I can, and am clearly failing. It's like something is there, but something isn't. I don't feel lonely, but I do. I don't feel happy or sad; rather, I feel like I'm *drifting.*
I don't have anything wrong with my life, nothing at all. I live in a good house, with a fantastic and supportive family. I've finished school a semester early and am slowly starting to get my act in gear for work.
I'm not rich, but I'm not poor. I'm not sick or ill, but I could be in better shape. I don't know, really, I don't. I function. I talk to people, I laugh genuinely, I smile genuinely, I'm normal. I've just spent too much time with myself and need to put the thoughts in my head somewhere else.
Everything is just... Well, everything is average. I guess it's this constant state of average that is making me lose connection with the things around me. Maybe it's this gloomy winter weather? Being trapped in a house all day?
I've been thinking about relationships a lot recently. Not that I want or don't want one, I just really cant get my head wrapped around anything nowadays. I haven't hit on anyone in a long time, and the only two times I've been hit on for the past year were by a girl that I'm not interested in and a bisexual dude at a bar. Very flattering, but uninteresting or appealing to me. If anything, I want to find a girl who can make me laugh - but I've been having a tough time meeting people (especially with all of the bad weather we've been getting).
Now here I am typing away onto reddit about my jumbled thoughts and confusion. I don't really know what I'm feeling, really. I just needed to get this constant feeling of purgatory (not sure if that's the right word) off my chest.
TL;DR: | I don't really know what I'm feeling. It's nothing bad but nothing good. It's just a constant feeling of average with a lot of mixed thoughts and feelings, I think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [30F] am starting to think that my husband [30] doesn't actually love me anymore.
POST: My husband and I have been married for almost six years, together for 8. While we dated and up until about a year ago, things were great. When we dated and in the beginning of our marriage, he was always super lovey with me.
Since around last summer, he's kind of turned into a dick. He gets aggravated if I try to talk to him or show any kind of affection towards him. He's totally uninterested in the lives of our child (4) and I. We signed her up for school last week, he didn't want to come along but did anyways for whatever reason. He was pissy the entire time he was there, had absolutely no desire to meet her teacher or learn anything about the school she's going to.
Tonight I was telling him how I was really scared for our child to start school, and he didn't really acknowledge me or say anything about it, he just said "Okay. Well, I'm going to bed" and got up. I said "....okay. Love you" and he didn't respond.
I'm really fucking over it and I'm sick of feeling like I'm the only one who actually gives a shit. I want to ask him what the hell his deal is. If he feels the way I think he feels, I want to know now so I can either try to fix things or gtfo and move on with my life. I've brought it up to him once before, saying it seemed like he's always agitated when he's around our child and I, and he said it's because he's just tired/irritated. I don't buy it though, and I think he'd give me the same thing if I brought it up again.
And, because I know most people will suggest it, he's not cheating. It's on par with murder in his book. Plus, he has no way to cheat. He comes home right after work every single day, he has no phone or facebook account and couldn't use a computer if he tried (he went to a strict religious school where technology was banned, same went for his home).
TL;DR: | My husband is kind of distant and I think his feelings for me have changed. I'm trying to decode his behavior and figure out how to go about getting the truth out of him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Wanting to reconnect with a waiter but I lost his number? 24/f 27/m
POST: Went out with a friend for dinner. A friend of hers from high school was our waiter. Waiter friend starts making me laugh a lot. Not really paying attention to our mutual friend. Mutual friend goes to the bathroom and waiter hangs out at our table a bit longer than he should talking about milkshakes and The Boondocks. Finally realize he's hitting on me. I like it, I let him choose my milkshake for me. Got milkshake for free. Leaves number on the receipt.
I go home and we text a bit. Not really as exciting as at the restaurant. Not really able to get a date off the ground. Stop texting.
Go back to restaurant a month later with male colleague. Waiter friend is our server. Not phased by male colleague. Asks shamelessly if I still have his number. I tell him to call me, a little bit sassy. He's aggressive in real life but not when it comes to plans. Starting to think he's nervous.
He texts me 2 days later asking to hang out. I say sure, when. He says he's playing a jazz show this weekend but "he will see where it ends up." This happens twice and we don't meet up. It's about to happen for the third time and I say "if you don't pick a time I am done with this, this is silly." We make plans. I chicken out because I kind of sassed him and feel like, mean.
I am wanting to call him at the restaurant and get his number from him. I deleted it. I have lost a lot of weight and my self esteem is growing. I feel like I can get to know him now. I don't want to let this cloud my judgement but he's really dreamy.
Too sketchy to call him @ the restaurant?
TL;DR: | should i get in touch with a server who i met at a restaurant by calling the restaurant and asking for him? We have texted in the past but i lost his number and i want to see him now. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Saving for travel with a Roth IRA?
POST: I know there's lots of discussion about Roth IRA vs Savings Accounts and emergency funds, and I understand the basics of that one. I have an emergency fund that I'm comfortable with, and a Roth IRA that I'm definitely not maxing out (limited income, seasonal employment, it's a crazy lifestyle). I need to save some money for some long-term travel starting in 8-10 months, and I'm wondering if there would be many downsides to just using my Roth IRA to save what I need (in addition to my regular IRA deposits), and then take out that principle when the time comes for my trip abroad.
TL;DR: | Should I use non-maxed out Roth IRA (instead of my meager savings account) to save for a trip that starts in 8 months? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Girlfriends mother is being unjust, never lets us see eachother. Help! :(
POST: You probably think this is another hopeless teen needing help. Well, it is... but any help is greatly appreciated :)
So me and my girl clocked 5 months together and we were pretty excited. Now, we both thought that since it is our 5 month anniversary, that she could come over for dinner. Now I never get my hopes up anymore because they always get shot down. But I was excited about her spending some time with me...
So the mother was at church, and my girlfriend texted her saying "can I have dinner at ----'s house? It's our 5 month anniversary" (she has a brother that can driver her to mine) after 40 minutes we got a reply. "No," now this is all her mother does. She says no to anything to do with my girlfriend seeing me. So my day was brought to a slow and boring end wishing she was able to come over.
Now the reason she hates me. The most probable is that 2 months in, we were cuddling on a couch, and you know how hard it is to have 2 people lying on the couch, so I was lying ontop of her. We started kissing. And her mother walks in and watches for a few seconds before interrupting. To then say "I think It's time you go home," and the other reasons. Well. she is a Christian nut-bag of a mother who thinks I am a sex possessed demon from the underworld?
Listen I am always polite and honest and show a lot of respect towards her and her property. That one time was just a, rookie error. So how do I fix this all, how do I make her like me? It's been 3 months and she is still being cruel and unfair. :( (also she is a divorced wife)
Any help who could tell me what I can do would be amazing. I need this :(
TL;DR: | been with gf 5 months, mother walked in on me kissing her while lying ontop of her. Hates me forever. How can I mend this together? :((( |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit, I just got back in contact with a person I met on a forum many years ago, have you ever reunited with a long lost pen friend / someone from the internet?
POST: Hey guys.
I started talking to a old friend I met many years ago on a forum, he is from Italy and I'm in Australia. We met on a forum for a racing simulation and he used to mix and make his own music, fan music for people who raced. I used to love it and we became good friends and as popularity of the game dropped off we stayed friends until the last few years and the push more towards social media over chat clients like msn which is what we used, started to take over.
We started talking again the other day and he sent me through a new song and all the old ones and I just got absolutely walloped by nostalgia instantly. We are now in the process on catching up on the last few year, we have now both been through university and have plenty to talk about.
TL;DR: | had a overseas pen friend who made music, used to really dig it, became good friends. Haven't spoke in years, randomly got in touch recently and catching up, heard music again got smashed by nostalgia. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My ex (m/28) is writing music about me (f/27)? Has anyone else had this happen to them?
POST: My ex and I dated a few years ago. Things ended rough due to circumstances out of our control. We have both moved on in current relationships, there is no way we would get back together knowing how the past ended.
He's a musician. Shortly after the breakup, he released an EP specific to our relationship and why things fell apart. The songs are full of inside references that only him and I get. At live shows he plays unreleased songs explaining what went wrong on both our ends. He always invites me to his shows for support, but it's sometimes evokes bad memories once I hear him sing about me. We share a similar circle of friends and networking pals, it's hard to distance myself completely from him and his music.
TL;DR: | I know I can't be the only one who has had an ex write music about them. Any advice on how to push forward without the flashbacks? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Hi Reddit. My grandma is currently going through a second diagnosis of cancer in six months. I'm looking to buy her a book to help her cope. Any suggestions?
POST: My grandmother - who is probably the nicest and most caring person I've personally met - is consulting with a doctor today regarding a diagnosis of lung cancer. The mass is relatively large, and she is having a very difficult time mentally and emotionally.
She was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year and was on the road to recovery. Last week she went in for a standard scan to check the surrounding area before beginning either chemo or radiation treatment following the surgical removal of the cancerous tumor. The scan revealed a medium sized mass on her lung. She had a biopsy done on the mass and was immediately called in for what I think is called a PET scan (dye infused into the body, checks for cancer throughout the entire body). I'm not in the medical profession and have probably mislabeled one or more medical procedures, so please forgive any errors.
The point of this post is as follows: she is having a terribly difficult time dealing with the situation as the scan that revealed the lung formation was literally the day before radiation/chemo - the last stages of dealing with the original cancer. Mentally and emotionally she is a wreck.
To any cancer survivors or friends/relatives of survivors, what book(s) helped with the emotional/mental aspects of living with/through cancer and the treatment that follows? I'm open to picking up multiple books for her to read - but I'd also like her to receive a book that is powerful and tangible. Like I said earlier - she would bend over backwards for any other person on this planet. It is terrible to see such a wonderful human being endure such a bad series of events, and I'd like to help with her mental/emotional endurance.
Any and all suggestions would be much appreciated. I would also like to add that this isn't being done for karma or any other self-serving/shitty reason - I simply am looking for tried and true suggestions from people who have been through similar situations. Thank you for taking the time to read this post.
TL;DR: | day before grandma was starting the final process in dealing with breast cancer, screening revealed mass on her lung. I'm looking for book suggestions for her to deal with the mental/emotional difficulty of the situation. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24F] Boyfriend [26M] and my family. Is it a requirement that your family be crazy/in love with your significant other?
POST: We have been dating for a little over a year and a half. We have a great relationship, and we always have. But it sort of concerns me that my family doesn't seem too crazy about him. Don't get me wrong, they like him and everything- as in they don't have any specific issues with him or anything- but they don't seem to be crazy about him like I am.
I always read people on this subreddit talking about how their family "loves" their significant others and that they treat them like a son or daughter. It just bums me out that my family doesn't feel that way for my boyfriend. He has spent a lot of time with them over the last year and a half- he accompanies me to family dinners and events and such. He is a bit shy and reserved, so maybe they just don't get the opportunity to see his true personality the way I do, but I still don't get why they don't at least try to get to know him better.
I love him so much and he is my best friend, and there are so many good qualities to him. I just wish my family could see him like I do, but I understand I obviously know him on an entirely different level than they do. I guess my main concern is that if we get married one day, they won't really feel any emotion/attachment to him. They won't feel thrilled for him to enter the family, etc etc. Maybe I am over-thinking?
Does anyone have any experience similar where their family wasn't crazy about their significant others? I feel like if me and him went and got married in the next couple years, nothing will really change in how they feel about him, and so their response will just be "Oh, okay, that's cool.." But they won't be jumping up and down, really happy to welcome him to the family with open arms or anything like that. And that kinda makes me sad.. :/
TL;DR: | My family doesn't seem to be crazy about my boyfriend. I am worried they never will be. Looking for advice/similar stories from others who have experienced something like this. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by delivering pizza!
POST: This happened to me today so a bit of background I live in a small town in the UK and I recently started a new job at Pizza Hut delivering pizza it's my 2nd week and everything's going good, I get one of my deliveries enter the address into my satnav and go, due to the way the town is laid out the house numbers can be a bit confusing so the my satnav takes me to the area but from the signs it doesn't look like the correct address then I see a small black of flats on the field I walk over there and see that it gated all around and the entrance is somwhwere else, so I had would have to go back to my car and drive round to the entrance but I could see the house the door right in front of me on the 2nd floor so I thought I could just call them and tell them I'm just outside and if they could just came out I could pass it over the fence as it had already been paid for. So I ring them a middle aged woman answers and I ask if they can come out and quickly grab it she says "I can't" and then I say "why not?" And she just keeps saying "I just can't" me being a little pissed said to her fine I'm be at the door in a annoyed tone of voice so I get back to my car I take a extra long just to get there just so they get a little pissed off as well, so I get to the door and when she opens the door less than half way I can see she is in a wheel chair I instantly turn red I just acted like a dick to someone in a wheel chair, she doesn't say anything I give her the pizza she gives my a dirty look and slams the door.
TL;DR: | Went to deliver pizza and asked a woman in a wheel chair to come down and collect pizza and when she didn't I acted like a dick. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: Need help: Girlfriend stated its her or the dog
POST: Background:
My girlfriend and I recently moved into a 2bed, 2bath, 2 story apartment. I've wanted a pug dog for an extremely long time. The first bad sign is that I purchased a one year old male pug before we even had time to settle in. Browsing /r/pugs daily caused me to be over ecstatic for my first dog.
It's been two weeks and he's grown more aggressive. My girlfriend and I both work fulltime so he is by himself for 8+ hours a day. The bottom floor kitchen and bathroom are connected so we gate him up in there with his bed, toys, puppy pads, food. He would cry for long periods of time. I purchased a Thundershirt and it's helped with his separation anxiety.
The problem is is his growing aggression when we finally come home. He runs around chewing up misc items, licking, playful biting, etc. I left him alone for one hour last night to shower and found my glasses chewed up, poop on the carpet, etc. When my girlfriend came home to find the destruction, I have never seen her that angry. She informed me she hates the dog, wants me to get rid of him, and the decision for either him or her.
I love my girlfriend and I love my dog. I believe that although a dog is a lot of hardwork, the payoff and reward is great. By teaming up with training a dog it helps us if potential parenthood happens down the road. I'm not sure what to do - obedience school, patience, stricter training etc;
TL;DR: | Girlfriend and I just moved in together, my new one year old male pug chews up everything when we are gone, bites us. My girlfriend gave me the ultimatum of choosing between her or the dog. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20 F) cannot stop imagining my boyfriend (25 M) proposing to me. Is this odd?
POST: I've never understood why anybody would want it so much.. I'm not religious and it is 'just a day' after all.
However, I suddenly keep thinking about marrying my SO. I daydream about saying 'my husband' and I've even thought out different scenarios where he asks me. I'm worried he's going to guess what I'm thinking about.. We've only been together for a year and are definitely not in the right position to be thinking about anything as serious as this. I know I'd be apprehensive if he asked me now but that doesn't stop my thinking about it allthefuckingtime. It'll stop soon, right?
TL;DR: | concerned that I'm turning into bridget jones before my time. Wondering if this happens to other people and if it fades. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [m/23] want to write a letter to my ex [f/23]...
POST: About a month ago, my ex ended out relationship of 2 1/2 years. I'm not going to go into unnecessary detail, but the break up came out of no where, and I was in too much shock to talk to her further when she ended it.
I recently stumbled across a book she left at my place. This book means a lot to her and I plan to mail it back. I want to write a letter along with it sharing my thoughts.
**I am not looking for advice on whether or not to write this letter**. I am rather asking which version I should use:
**Simple letter**
I found this book at my house. Hope all is well.
**Not so simple letter**
* I found the book and I wanted to write a letter with some of my thoughts in it.
* Talk about why I was so quiet on the night of the break up and how she shocked me with her sudden decision
* Tell her that her decision saddens me, but I don't hold any hard feelings towards her, and I would like to talk in person at some point.
* Tell her I still care about her and I am here if she needs me. (debating keeping this one)
* Hope all is well
I eventually want to talk to this girl again, but given my current state of mind, I feel it might be better if it was further down the road. Thoughts?
TL;DR: | Ex of 2 1/2 years suddenly ended our relationship a month ago and I'm going to mail stuff she left here along with a letter I wrote. Should the letter be short or long? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: how do i [28/m] stop being a jerk to my girlfriend [25/f]?
POST: Hi there!
I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a few months now. There are problems with our life circumstances right now, but between us, things are really amazing and always have been. She's incredibly kind, loving, and supportive of me, and I love her to death (I want to marry her actually)
But lately I've been unhappy about my life for reasons that aren't her fault and I can't do anything about for at least another month (complicated living situation).
And I've been noticing myself being a huge jerk lately. For instance, sometimes she'll ask me questions and I'll get grumpy because the answer is very easy and I think she's just being lazy by not trying to figure it out for herself. Then I'll say some smart-ass sarcastic response or something snippy. And she'll say "okay... sorry for asking..." and I'll feel like a huge jerk.
This has been happening a lot lately, at least once every other day, and it's hard for me to catch myself before I do it!!! I don't want to treat her like this, not only because I love her and want to treat her well, but she deserves and needs positive encouragement as much as possible, I don't want to make her insecurities worse!!!!!
Any tips you guys have for how I can stop being such a jerk? :)
Thanks!
TL;DR: | I've been an asshole to my gf a lot lately because I'm unhappy with my living situation that I can't change right now. What can I do to help myself stop being a jerk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [16 M] has three cousin [6 M, 6 M, 7 F ] now living with me? What to do.
POST: My parents decided to keep my 3 cousins with us for the school year since they live in Mexico and my mom's sister wanted them to have a better chance at life. The thing is that we do not have a lot of money, I have seen my parent's bank account, it's below 10 k, we are renting a house for one k a month and now we have to three extra people to feed in addition to four people. they even bought them beds. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my cousins, I just hate the situation, I am still in high school and I have to pay for AP exams and for lunch and no I can't get a job yet because I am not old enough.
TL;DR: | three new people to feed in addition to four. We are not rolling in money and I still need money for school related stuff. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Bf going to night walk with ex/best friend is that normal?
POST: Ok so my[23f] bf [23m] have no other friends but this girl lets call her Gina [23f]. All his close guy friends had left far away for work, and this girl being his only best friend.
He sees Gina a couple times a week, they dated for a couple months back in grade 9 but he broke it off cause he didn't see her as a gf but just a friend. He goes out for walks at her house a lot lately and he claims they just walk and talk and nothin else. She his best friend and he doesn't want to lose a friend.
Also Ginas mom told my bf in front of me to take care of her daughter. I had my bf talk to her about it and Gina claim that she already told her parents that he's with me and that they are just friends. I can't shake off this insecure feelings. Am I over thinking it? I don't want to make him lose his only close friend but I get so uncomfortable when he's with her alone.
TL;DR: | bf go out for walks with ex/ best friend. By claim it is nothing but I get uncomfortable with the idea. Am I over thinking? |
SUBREDDIT: r/cats
TITLE: Returning a stray cat to an unfit home
POST: A couple months ago, I found a cat outside my home. Given that I live on a busy intersection in a mid sized city, I tried to bring her in but she refused. I'd see her around over the next few weeks, eventually gaining her trust and whisked her inside. She was there for three weeks and got along great with our current cat.
Then our neighbour came by looking for his lost cat. He described her perfectly and she recognized him. He took her home much to my dismay, especially since I was at work at the time.
When I got home, I went over to talk to him (I'd never met him before) and learned he'd found the cat under a bridge a few weeks prior to losing her. It turns out that she had annoyed one of the roommates who then opened a window to let her outside.
The next week (which was last week), she's outside my apartment again. We took her in. He never came by looking for her. Yesterday I noticed he'd left a litter box on my front porch, with no note.
Talking to him the first time, I could tell he really liked the cat and she meant a lot to him. But my roommate and I just thought it was a bad fit since his roommates didn't seem to care. They let her out twice in a month.
TL;DR: | I found a stray and returned it to the previous owner. I find the cat again a week later. His roommates let the cat outside twice in a month. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I [f/20] end it with my boyfriend [m/21] of almost 5 years?
POST: I'm sorry its kind of long!
We've had some rough patches but these past few months have been ok. He recently told me he "loves me but is not IN love with me" but that we would try and work it out.
Ever since that day he's been very distant. We rarely speak or see eachother now. I recently found out that he's been talking to another girl behind my back. They've been flirty but nothing too serious that I know of.
I didn't want to end it but I know I need to before I get my heart broken. My question is how do I do it if he's avoiding my calls. He's pretty much my best friend so do we still hang out after the fact?
TL;DR: | boyfriend is being flirty with another girl during a rough patch we're trying to work out. How do I break it off before my heart is broken? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [M18] After a recent LDR break up I need advise to not only move on but try LOCAL DATING.
POST: Hello, I'm still new to this whole Reddit thing. Nice to see how many communities are forged under this site. Anyways this is a long one but again, I feel the people of this internet community are splendid and should give me good advise.
I went through a, gut wrenching breakup with my now ex F18-5 months total. All my life, I was able to fascinate girls but... It was all through a computer screen. Not like I'm a creeper, all circumstantial.
I always was someone who was good with language and heartfelt expressions and it's a trait many of my ex's were fond of. However, due to homeschooling (thank the public schools in not dealing with sexual harassment issues), I have been pretty much a shut in for several years and never really tried talking to girls and starting things in public.
It's not so much self conscious of my physical look but more so I'll rub off as pathetic and nervous. I know it sound horribly childish but with someone with my mindset, I have no one else to talk this to (since parents kind of mellow everything with praise and good hopes).
So what should I do and how should I go about local dating, my homeschool program practically segregates everyone under it, so don't bother suggesting that. I haven't really kept in touch with old loves either.
So where should I go, who should I talk to, in general I need advise to dating locally again. My friends and I already will be enjoying ourselves soon after my graduation but I wanted to try dating locally prior or at least attempt to talk to girls.
My LDR's have always been through mutual friends and websites where it practically establishes conversations for you, so now in the more tangible world I kind am clueless.
All advise for not only my recent breakup but advise for local dating would be fantastic! Mainly the latter.
Another thing I should add is either way I'm shipping out in August to basic training, hope that tid bit of information helps.
TL;DR: | Need help dating locally, shut in, dated too many LDR's, utterly clueless beyond all reason. Cheers. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Get-together with out of town guest after rehearsal dinner - phrasing?
POST: We're having a rehearsal & dinner on the Friday evening before our Saturday wedding. Invited guests are our immediate family, bridesmaids/groomsmen + their SOs, grandma, and officiant. The wedding ceremony/reception will take place in the hotel where most out of town guests will be staying; the rehearsal dinner will be right next door.
We have a ton of out of town guests who I'd like to see, but who won't be invited to the rehearsal dinner, so I was hoping that we could meet up with them for drinks after the dinner. We are paying for dinner for our rehearsal party, but can't afford to pay for all out of town guests.
When we invite them, I'd like to be clear that this is not a "wedding event" that guests must attend (completely optional) and we are not paying for these post-dinner drinks. Any advice on how to phrase that tactfully? Also, I feel weird telling non-rehearsal guests that we want to see them after the rehearsal dinner. It feels like we're saying, "we're having a dinner you're not invited to, but we want to see you afterwards!" It also runs the risk of someone misunderstanding and thinking they're invited to the rehearsal when they aren't.
Thank you!
TL;DR: | Did you guys meet up with out of town guests the night before the wedding? How did you phrase the invitation? How do you phrase it to make it crystal clear that they need to pay for themselves? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can I [24f] help my boyfriend [25m] through chemotherapy?
POST: I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, living together for half of that. Earlier this year I lost my mother to cancer after she decided to refuse further treatment for a brain tumour. In a way I was prepared for it as she had been ill for a while, but I'm still dealing with her not being around and regularly have the urge to call her even though I know she's not here. My boyfriend has been incredibly supportive through this period despite his own grandfather passing away, and save for general life stresses our relationship is solid.
In September, my boyfriend was also diagnosed with cancer. On a Thursday night he noticed a lump, and by Friday afternoon he had been diagnosed and scheduled in for emergency surgery. Initially there wasn't much chance to really process the news, with various doctors and nurses practically throwing information at us. Since then there has been some time for reflection. It has been a tough situation emotionally in it's own right, but on occasion I find myself focusing more on how unfair it is that I have to deal with yet another loved one becoming ill. I'm also struggling sometimes to be positive, even though the success rate is high and he's got a great attitude, I can't help thinking worst case scenario based on my previous experience. This sometimes leads to it feeling like he's comforting me when it should be the other way around!
It really bothers me that I get these feelings given how much he's helped me this year, so I really want ideas on how I can support him best through his own difficult time. He is starting chemotherapy today, which will last 3 months, and I want to do everything I can to keep him upbeat whilst he's in hospital, but also when he's recovering at home.
So what I'm really looking for is advice on how I can avoid these crappy, selfish thoughts creeping in, and also some activities/gifts/helpful tasks/movies/books/etc that might help us deal with the next few months, bearing in mind he will probably be low in energy.
TL;DR: | struggling to avoid comparing my mother's fatal experience of cancer to my boyfriends recent diagnosis, looking for nice things can I do to help him (and myself) feel useful/positive during chemotherapy. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [Update] [M22] with my ex-girlfriend [21F]. I cheated on her, I know I fucked up, and then I manned up.
POST: I posted earlier asking /r/relationships asking for advice because I was scared of what to do. I cheated on my girlfriend of 1 year and 5 months with some random girl I met. I became depressed because I was throwing a pity party for myself and then decided through reddit and my friends help to own up to what I had done. I was sincere in my explanation, I was remorseful, and by the end of my conversation with her we were laughing like we did when we were friends.
We are not back together, though. We both have a lot to work out on our own and it seems that the best thing for both of us right now is to work on our own issues and come what may.
TL;DR: | I cheated on my girlfriend, didn't tell her when we broke up, and then finally found some courage to tell her the truth and things turned out for the better in the end. Thank you, Reddit, for the honest opinions. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21F] with my boyfriend [25m] 10 months, worries about me too much
POST: Let me start out by saying my boyfriend is so sweet, gentle and sensitive. He always has my best interest at heart and truly loves me. However lately I have been going through a lot of stress and for me that means panic attacks and general discomfort with myself.
My boyfriend is really worried about me but worried to the point of shutting down. I have shared how I felt, he gives me space to be open. However I think it is too much for him to take because all the sudden he is treating me like i'm fragile. If I feel frustrated or stressed he thinks it is becasue of him and apoligizes and asks what he can do to fix it or make me feel better. Once that happens it is like any positive energy I was clinging onto is gone and we are both in a funk.
I have no idea how to fix this and I know that it is coming from a good place, we just both seem so down in the dumps for the past two weeks and can't get out. He says he can't be happy unless I am happy and even though I am trying and working on my stuff, it takes me a little bit to figure out what triggering my anxiety and then move past it.
I am finally starting to come out of my stress coma and I am trying to show him that by verbalizing it. However for example if he starts doing something and I am just relaxing on the couch he will ask me what I am doing and I will mention that I am just hanging out and waiting for a snuggle and he will come over an apologize and say he did it again and he made me upset, even though I really did not mind waiting at all and made no inclination that I felt impatient. This has been happeneing every time we hang out since I became overly stressed.
Sorry if that is all mumble jumble I am very confused, please ask me questions for clarity and more information if you need. Reddit, my boyfriend worries about me too much and I am stressed with things that don't involve him. How do we get out of this funk?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend is worried about me I am trying to ensure him that I will be ok. It is causing a "depression" like mood to our relationship. How do we fix this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do you deal with physical pain?
POST: On a holiday with my SO, 3 months ago, i got a severe ear infection in the middle of the night. So severe that it felt like knives were being jammed up my ear and wanted to visit a hospital a.s.a.p.
My girlfriend literally said i should calm the fuck down and we would visit a doctor in the morning... I couldn't take it after 2 hours and went to see a doctor in the middle of the night to get some serious painkillers and antibiotics. Which luckily solved my problems.
Afterwards my girlfriend "jokingly" said i was a bit of a pussy and should have waited till the morning cause i wasn't in life danger.
TL;DR: | My SO called me a pussy for visiting the hospital in the middle of the night for threating a severe ear infection. Was she right? And how do you deal with pain? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I cheated for the first time and need advice
POST: We're both early 20's dating for about a year, I moved to a new city temporarily and we've been communicating via skype/phone and things were going go. I get kind of lonely in the new city so I went out to a bar to potentially meet people. I got pretty drunk and went to the next-door bar. drank some more. Decided to go home and as I'm going home I say fuck it, I'll go back to the last bar and have one more drink. I go there meet these 2 people talking, the dude is really bad at talking to her and I kind of join in the conversation. Now at this point I'm just talking cause I don't know anyone out here and why not? Well the dude ends up leaving so it's just her and I. In the bar we weren't flirty at all, just friendly and getting more drunk well when we leave she asks if I want to hang out at her place. I know this is a bad idea but I kinda say, I wont do anything...it'll be fine. well we get back and we start fooling around, almost instantly and eventually it leads to sex. As soon as we finish I'm gain a sense of soberness and think "AHHH WTF DID I JUST DO?!" I talk to the girl about it, she's older and basically says I feel bad but there are worse things that happen, you are young and it isnt that bad.
before that night I was never the "cheating type" I never thought I fucking would. the relationship with my gf has kinda been rocky for a while but nothing too bad. I know if I tell her she will dump me and as selfish as it is, I don't want to look like the bad guy (even though I know I am). I really want to be with her, I love her and had a moment of stupidity. To make things worse she is visiting me in a few weeks and already paid (a lot) of money for the trip.
Reddit, do I have to tell her? Can I try to forget it and continue with our relationship, I want to hear people's personal experience with this matter.
TL;DR: | I got drunk and cheated on gf of about a year, it's not me and I could easily never do it again. Can I avoid telling her the truth and just bury it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21M] with my (ex) girlfriend [21F] of previously 2.5 years, she just out of the blue broke up with me and I'm devastated.
POST: A little background: We are seniors in our second-to-last semester and have been together since the end of freshman year. We met on a dating website. We've been living together for the past 1.5 years or so. I thought everything was going fantastically. I loved her, (I thought) she loved me, and we were headed towards moving up to the NW together next year and getting married in the next few years. She was my first girlfriend I thought we'd be together forever (I know, terribly cliche).
This past week, on Sunday, she sat me down and told me that she was starting to have doubts about our relationship. She said that she didn't feel comfortable planning to commit her life to someone at such a young age and that the idea of marrying her first real boyfriend (she had a long-term relationship in the sophomore and junior year of her high school, which I guess she doesn't consider to be "real") was too heavy. When I asked what I could do about that, she just hung her head and said nothing. I asked if she wanted to break up and she said yes. She kept saying that she loved me and that we were so compatible together (which is true, we are very compatible), but she needed to figure herself out and what she wanted before committing her life to one person. I asked her if she'd been thinking about this for a while and she said yes. I'll admit that I got kind of angry and accused her of wanting to date other guys and she said that she couldn't deny that. This just made me angrier and I shut down.
Obviously, the break up was messy. We were both crying a lot.
I guess we are very young and planning big life choices together which can be scary, I'm just so heartbroken. This came out of nowhere for me. She's in the process of boxing up all her things and preparing to move back to her parents house this weekend. We can't stop crying whenever we see each other.
What do I do now? Does her reasoning make sense?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue because she was uncomfortable with idea of marrying the man from her first real relationship. Does her reasoning make sense? |
SUBREDDIT: r/college
TITLE: left engineering, Is it worth switching to a better school for business?
POST: When I searched for colleges in high school I was heart set on going the engineering route. I decided to attend Iowa State University. After first semester I decided engineering wasn't for me and I want to switch to business finance or accounting, the problem is, the business school isn't anything special. I really do not want to switch schools nor do my parents really want me to ( I got a nice scholarship and they're paying tuition in full). I really like it here and not sure what to do. My biggest concern is struggling to find a job after I graduate. I plan on attending grad school too.
TL;DR: | I picked Iowa State University for the engineering department and hated first semester, I want to transfer to the school of business but its nothing special, is it worth switching schools for it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by using a Perrier bottle as a washroom.
POST: Our story takes place in 2010 when my whole family was still living under the same roof. I lived in the basement. This basement had the family room and den on one side, the den is where I slept and the family room had a bar. On the other side was the play room that had the wine room, workshop, and laundry room attached. In the laundry room was the sauna and shower and in the workshop was the bathroom.
In my early years after coming home later at night I would indulge in bricks of cheese, olives, pretty much anything I could grab from the fridge quick and bring downstairs. My family was a big supporter of Perrier mixed with cranberry juice. This ment there was always Perrier available for me to grab as a drink with my early morning snack.
Often however after eating and drinking I would be too lazy to walk from the den to the bathroom downstairs so I would use the Perrier bottle to relive myself.
This bugged my parents, so sometimes I would use my fish tank a well. This lead to some pretty strange or dead fish as the 10 gallon tank would over time be half full of urine.
Anyways one night after reliving myself I left the Perrier bottle on the top of the bar with the cap on with the full intention on getting ride of it in the morning. I work up and found the bottle gone. I figured that my mom had taken it, thrown it out and I was going to get our customary talking to later.
So I chill out on the couch and watch TV. From up stairs I hear my sister yell "mom I think this cranberry juice has gone bad!"
No way! I run up stairs and my initial thoughts are confirmed when I smell the Perrier that my sister used to make our favourite family mix. The family mix that is in her half empty cup.
"It's not the cranberry juice" I say. She gags.
TL;DR: | Used a Perrier bottle for a urnal because I'm lazy. Sister mixed my urine with cranberry and drank it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: The future (NSFW)
POST: I'm scared of the future plain and simple. I'm 21 years old and going to college right now. I'm supposed to graduate next December but I'm scared shitless of doing so. I don't want to keep staying in school because it is a financial strain on my parents but I feel like as soon as I graduate I'm going to fall flat on my face when I have to deal with the real world and everything that comes with it. I'm studying to be in the finance field, where my job would be to help other people mapping out their financial future (mortgages, paying for their children's education, loan payments, investing, retirement, ect.) but I feel like I know only the most basic of things and I feel like I'm kinda just winging it as I go along. It feels like a huge responsibility to be in charge of helping make someone's future the way they want it to go, and fucking that up in any way for them could ruin that person/family's future. How can I help these people in the future when I feel like I can't even help myself? I just don't see how I am supposed to graduate and move on with my life when I'm not mentally prepared to move on. I can't sit in school forever and spend all my parents savings so that I don't have to grow up. I'm honestly just really fucking nervous and scared for the future, not being able to live up to expectations, failing people that are counting on me and all that kind of stuff. I'm just lost and feel alone in all this and I can't show it to anyone that I know because it would make me feel like a complete failure to them all.
TL;DR: | I am graduating soon, I feel like I don't know shit and I'm going to fall on my face and be a failure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] still have feelings for my exgirlfriend [21F] 4 months after break up.
POST: I was in my last year of University and it was the summer before the term began that i met her and fell in love with her. After two months of dating we decided to become a couple in a long distance relationship across borders. (She being in Norway, me being in the UK studying) It all was fine the first few months until about Christmas.
She started in a new job and quickly became close to one of her male coworkers [22M]. This i had no problems with, until she told me that she had been to his place and watched movies and had spent a night there after they had been out on town. I confronted her and asked if she was cheating and she said no and i belived her.
Two weeks before i was supposed to come home from my studies abroad she called and said that the relationship was no longer working out and she broke up with me.
Now, 4 months after the break up i find myself in a place i dont really like. I can go days without thinking about her, but sometimes my thoughts go back to her and the few times we were together. This combined with her being now best buddy with this guy from her work isnt making it easier, especially seeing how they are now doing everything together.
How can i get over her completely and be able to move on?
TL;DR: | she broke up in a long distance relationship and was potentionally seeing another guy. I want to get over her after 4 months. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How do I (30f) drop hints for him (30s?m) to ask me out again if I rejected him before if he's the "traditional" type?
POST: There's a guy at my work, lots of sexual tension. He did ask me to get drinks a couple months ago and I said yes because I thought it was in a friendly coworker way. But right after we set a time and date he sent me a text about how he thinks I'm beautiful so I realized it wasn't just for a friendly coworker thing. I rejected him nicely by saying thanks we are friends. The drinks thing never came up again after that and neither did the text. Now we are still just as friendly and the sexual tension is unbearable and even more so than before.
The reason I rejected him is because I didn't want to make my work environment complicated. But now I am leaving the company (already got two offers but I haven't told my current work yet) so I am definitely interested.
The problem is he has told me he's the traditional type who wants to make the first move, so I can't make a first move. But because I rejected him in the past, small hints I've tried aren't working. Small hints like me telling him so and so thinks he's attractive and things like that. What can I do to make it very obvious to him he should make a move again?
TL;DR: | want to get guy (I previously rejected because of work reasons that are different now) to make a move on me again but can't make the move myself because he's the type of guy who wants to make the first move. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [M 16] got really mixed signals from a girl [F 16]. I really started to like her and all of the sudden she just lost interest and I am now incredibly depressed.
POST: She was really nice to me for a while. She laughed a lot with me and seemed excited whenever she saw me. All I've wanted for the last few weeks was to go to school so I can see her. She motivated me to start exercising as well.
The last few days before winter break, however, everything changed. She stopped paying attention to me. She even asked if we could get new lab partners in our chem class (we're lab partners). This crushed me. Really bad. She doesn't even talk to me much the past few days, just her other friends, and she gets irritable around me easy. I thought it was me and I was nothing but nice to her. Not overly chummy either.
The worst part is that she seems interested in a drug dealer, my drug dealer. I started smoking weed because of this depression and I got caught, which made everything 10x worse.
Now it's winter break. I'm alone and my chest feels incredibly heavy. All I can think about is her and how she won't feel the same way I do for her. I have no motivation to exercise or do anything. I have a long two weeks ahead of me and I have no idea how to get through it.
TL;DR: | A girl showed interest in me and got me to like her ***a lot***. All of the sudden she lost interest and resented me, and is now hitting on my drug dealer. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend's [21F] ex-boyfriend [22M] and his new girlfriend [23F] are staying with my girlfriends parents.
POST: So my girlfriend (lets call her Jane) just learned today that her ex-boyfriend (he'll be Chris) and his girlfriend (Bitchface) are vacationing where her parents live. Not a big deal, she is on good terms with her ex and even though bitchface is a cunt my girlfriend harbors no ill feelings towards her.
Well as it turns out they are staying with Jane's parents for the week. Jane is flabberghasted and expressed to her mother that it made her feel uncomfortable. Her mother pretty much just told her to get over it.
I suggested that Jane contact Chris and mention that it makes her uncomfortable, but she doesn't want to because he will have to tell bitchface why she can not go and this is where we get in to how she earned her title.
When Jane started dating Chris is High School bitchface got jealous and started spreading nasty rumors about Jane. She even went as far as to spoof Jane's number and call people asking for drugs. In attempts to slander Jane's name. Jane is afraid if she says anything that bitchface will try to once again try to start things.
I'm at a loss on what to do. Any advice?
TL;DR: | ex and new gf are staying at with my gf's parents. My girlfriend does not like it. Bitches be crazy. |
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