MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

Input stringlengths 2 1.52k	Response stringlengths 2 2.76k
Good.	I say we head out.
I say we head out.	Agreed--let's move it.
Agreed--let's move it.	Are you hungry? We can discuss some final arrangements over some slop in the galley.
Are you hungry? We can discuss some final arrangements over some slop in the galley.	Captain it would be impossible to turn down such a gracious request.
Of the separate chemicals--I don't know, uh, offhand--	How much of this shit do they have, White!!
How much of this shit do they have, White!!	They must have got their hands on a test vial!
They must have got their hands on a test vial!	What does that mean?
What does that mean?	There's enough in one vial...
Do you mean to say you'd set it off in your own country?	Naturally. It would kill us just as surely even if we set it off in your country. But this way we know it's safe, and we don't have the problem of delivering it.
Naturally. It would kill us just as surely even if we set it off in your country. But this way we know it's safe, and we don't have the problem of delivering it.	Mister President, I can't buy this malarkey; they wouldn't set the damn thing off. Why should they?
Mister President, I can't buy this malarkey; they wouldn't set the damn thing off. Why should they?	You're absolutely right. We wouldn't. No sane nation ever would. That's why it was designed to trigger itself automatically.
You're absolutely right. We wouldn't. No sane nation ever would. That's why it was designed to trigger itself automatically.	Then all you have to do is untrigger it.
Then all you have to do is untrigger it.	Ah, but if we were able to untrigger it, that would be defeating its purpose. All our enemies would have to do, would be to warn us in advance that they were going to violate one of our unalterable triggering conditions. We would bluff, naturally, but in the end we would be insane not to untrigger it. Now we can say: There is no point trying to intimidate us, we don't control the Doomsday Machine.
Now, snap out of it, fella!	Who the hell do you think you are, sir???
Yes!	General Schmuck?
General Schmuck?	Yes! Who the hell is this?
May I be stupid enough to inquire WHY IN HELL THE BASE COMMANDER OF THE 843d BOMB WING DID A THING LIKE THAT ???	To be perfectly honest, Mister President, we really aren't sure.
To be perfectly honest, Mister President, we really aren't sure.	You aren't sure!
You aren't sure!	Not exactly, sir. You see, Colonel Puntrich at Air Command HQ received a call from him about twenty minutes ago. He asked General Ripper if he had issued the Go-code and the attack order, and General Ripper said: "Sure, the orders came from me. They're on their way in, and I advise you to get the rest of Air Command in after them. My boys will give you the best kind of start, and you sure as hell won't stop them now." Then he hung up.
Not exactly, sir. You see, Colonel Puntrich at Air Command HQ received a call from him about twenty minutes ago. He asked General Ripper if he had issued the Go-code and the attack order, and General Ripper said: "Sure, the orders came from me. They're on their way in, and I advise you to get the rest of Air Command in after them. My boys will give you the best kind of start, and you sure as hell won't stop them now." Then he hung up.	Damn it! Damn it! I've been telling you all for years you've got too damned many psychoes in the service.
Damn it! Damn it! I've been telling you all for years you've got too damned many psychoes in the service.	Be fair, Mister President. Didn't we initiate the Human Reliability tests for all personnel handling nuclear weapons?
Be fair, Mister President. Didn't we initiate the Human Reliability tests for all personnel handling nuclear weapons?	Buck, when I told you to give them right up to the top, you said we couldn't insult a general officer by asking him to pass a test to see if he's a psycho.
Is there any chance a single aircraft can penetrate the entire enemy Air Defense, when its course and target are known?	If I can speak freely, sir -- look, these guys talk big, but frankly, we think they're short of know-how. You can't just take a bunch of ignorant peasants and expect them to understand a machine like one of our boys, and I don't mean that as an insult, Mister Ambassador. Hell, we all know what kind of guts your people have. Why just look how many millions of 'em those Nazis killed and, hell, they still wouldn't quit.
If I can speak freely, sir -- look, these guys talk big, but frankly, we think they're short of know-how. You can't just take a bunch of ignorant peasants and expect them to understand a machine like one of our boys, and I don't mean that as an insult, Mister Ambassador. Hell, we all know what kind of guts your people have. Why just look how many millions of 'em those Nazis killed and, hell, they still wouldn't quit.	General, stick to the point, please.
General, stick to the point, please.	Well, sir, if the A/C's a really good man, I mean really sharp, why he can barrel that plane along so low - well you just have to see it some time. A real big plane, like a Sting Ray, zig-zagging in, its jet exhaust frying chickens in the barnyard --- Has he a chance?.....Hell, yes! He has one hell of a chance.
Listen, King, old buddy. On behalf---	Skip it and jump, damn you! This flak's so close, I can smell it.
What do you mean?	Well, we sure as hell aren't going home just because the enemy tells us to.
Well, we sure as hell aren't going home just because the enemy tells us to.	Wait a minute, Major. "OPE," that's the recall code. Where would they get that?
Wait a minute, Major. "OPE," that's the recall code. Where would they get that?	You tell me.
You tell me.	They must have gotten it from the base. No one else would know it.
They must have gotten it from the base. No one else would know it.	Why should they call us back?
Why should they call us back?	How the hell do I know? Maybe the war's over.
We're on course, Major. Just fixed our position on that river back there.	What the hell are you doing here, Lothar?
I thought I'd go along for the ride.	Now what the hell did you want to go and do a thing like that for, Lothar?
Now what the hell did you want to go and do a thing like that for, Lothar?	I thought maybe you'd like some company.
King, would you mind if I keep me hands on the wheel when you take her in?	I'd be mighty proud if you did, Lothar.
I'd be mighty proud if you did, Lothar.	Thanks, King. I've always wanted to take one of these big babies in.
Thanks, King. I've always wanted to take one of these big babies in.	Listen, Lothar. You know that crack I made about your...butt?
Listen, Lothar. You know that crack I made about your...butt?	Forget it.
Forget it.	I just wanted you to know I didn't mean anything by it.
I just wanted you to know I didn't mean anything by it.	Sure, King.
Sure, King.	Well, I just wanted you to know how I felt. Hell, I know Air Command wouldn't have taken you if you weren't okay. And don't think I don't know some of our best ball-players and entertainers are of Negro descent.
You know, one moment things are so fucked up than you look at it from a totally different angle and it makes sense.	Yeah.
Yeah.	Did you ever hear that saying, "This too shall pass"?
Did you ever hear that saying, "This too shall pass"?	Sure, all the time, in Group.
Sure, all the time, in Group.	In Group?
In Group?	Rehab. Outpatient. I have to go once a week. It's kind of like AA.
Rehab. Outpatient. I have to go once a week. It's kind of like AA.	Oh, yeah, you had to go to Highgate. That must've been intense.
Oh, yeah, you had to go to Highgate. That must've been intense.	Intense.
Intense.	How long were you in there?
How long were you in there?	Uh, ninety days. And now I just have to go once a week. See, I'm rehabilitated.
Uh, ninety days. And now I just have to go once a week. See, I'm rehabilitated.	Well, you shouldn't drink. Are you gonna drink?
Well, you shouldn't drink. Are you gonna drink?	No. Oh, maybe. Fuck.
No. Oh, maybe. Fuck.	I mean, that would suck if you had to go back to rehab.
I mean, that would suck if you had to go back to rehab.	Yeah, it would suck big time. I'd kill myself first.
Yeah, it would suck big time. I'd kill myself first.	It was pretty bad, huh?
It was pretty bad, huh?	It was like hell with windows. You know, there's shit on the walls. Kids my age sucking their thumbs. I mean, every day I would, I'd wake up in my cell and I'd think, my parents put me here. Why? Why? Because I stayed out all night one time. Uh, because I broke the VCR when I was drunk. Because I was out of control. I thought my parents loved me.
We were all riding around and it suddenly hit me what we were doing. We were getting off on the fact that we're in a car teen feet longer than all the rest. And I got out and I just started walking.	Yeah.
Yeah.	Well, what it was... I, I don't want to admit it, but, you know, I was jealous of Pony.
Well, what it was... I, I don't want to admit it, but, you know, I was jealous of Pony.	Well, sure, he's rich and he's famous. He's got everything and you've got nothing.
Well, sure, he's rich and he's famous. He's got everything and you've got nothing.	Yeah, but, when I was walking, I realized that he's stuck in that limo all the time. He's stuck with his interviews, he's stuck with his autograph, he has to do whatever his manager tells him to do, you know? He's not free. He's just part of the machine, and if you think about it, freedom's all that there really is.
Yeah, but, when I was walking, I realized that he's stuck in that limo all the time. He's stuck with his interviews, he's stuck with his autograph, he has to do whatever his manager tells him to do, you know? He's not free. He's just part of the machine, and if you think about it, freedom's all that there really is.	Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I guess.	You know? And it used to scare me so much that I didn't know what was coming in my life.
You know? And it used to scare me so much that I didn't know what was coming in my life.	Mm-hm.
Mm-hm.	You know, like, like, I would always think, uh, you know, what if I make the wrong move? But maybe there isn't any right move. You know? I mean, look at us. You know, we all dress the same, we all talk the same, we all fuck the same, we all watch the same TV. Nobody's really different, even if they think they're different. "Oh, boy, look at my tattoo, you know?" And see, that's what makes me freak. Because I can do anything I want, as long as I don't care about the result.
Hey!	Hey. Do you have a cigarette?
Hey. Do you have a cigarette?	No I quit.
No I quit.	Hey, you said you did a video?
Hey, you said you did a video?	Yup.
Yup.	What's it about?
What's it about?	It's really not about anything.
It's really not about anything.	Oh. Well, what's it on?
Oh. Well, what's it on?	A cloud.
A cloud.	A cloud?
A cloud?	Yeah. There was this cloud and I video taped it.
Yeah. There was this cloud and I video taped it.	Oh.
Oh.	I was doing schrooms and I saw this cloud. It looks excellent on tape. The video is like my head and, and everything, you know, is, like, is like in there that I see. You know? Plus, I'm gonna come down here one night and walk around inside the Circle A with the camera and tape shit.
I was doing schrooms and I saw this cloud. It looks excellent on tape. The video is like my head and, and everything, you know, is, like, is like in there that I see. You know? Plus, I'm gonna come down here one night and walk around inside the Circle A with the camera and tape shit.	Oh, that's so amazing. I wish I could see it.
Oh, that's so amazing. I wish I could see it.	You can see it. Whenever you want. Don't you, um, work at a hospital or something?
You can see it. Whenever you want. Don't you, um, work at a hospital or something?	Yeah, I'm a nurse's aide at Mercy.
Yeah, I'm a nurse's aide at Mercy.	Your a nurse?
Your a nurse?	No, I, you know, I help 'em out. I empty bedpans and bring 'em lunch. That kind of thing.
No, I, you know, I help 'em out. I empty bedpans and bring 'em lunch. That kind of thing.	Any gunshot victims?
Any gunshot victims?	Oh, some of 'em. But it's mostly just strokes and shit. I mean, most of 'em just sleep all the time and get kind of yellow. Usually they die id they're, you know, really yellow.
Oh, some of 'em. But it's mostly just strokes and shit. I mean, most of 'em just sleep all the time and get kind of yellow. Usually they die id they're, you know, really yellow.	Sounds like a bummer.
Sounds like a bummer.	Oh, no, it's not. I mean, they're not all totally in a coma. I mean, they know when I'm helping them.
Oh, no, it's not. I mean, they're not all totally in a coma. I mean, they know when I'm helping them.	Mm. Hey, what are you doing now?
Mm. Hey, what are you doing now?	Right now?
Right now?	Yeah.
Yeah.	I don't know. Waiting, I guess. You know?
I don't know. Waiting, I guess. You know?	Do you wanna go to the van?
Do you wanna go to the van?	Now?
Now?	Yeah, we could hang out and smoke a dube, you know?
Yeah, we could hang out and smoke a dube, you know?	I don't smoke dubes and I don't really hang out. But I'll go back. Okay.
I don't smoke dubes and I don't really hang out. But I'll go back. Okay.	Okay, whatever you want.
Oh yeah? Oh, how'd you ship it over there, man? Federal Express? Hm? By the time it got there it'd be way cold and coagulated. Total waste. Cheese be stuck to the cardboard.	Buff, that slice is the difference between life and death for some half-dead Bangladeshi.
Buff, that slice is the difference between life and death for some half-dead Bangladeshi.	Yo, your gettin' me all upset here.
Yo, your gettin' me all upset here.	You should get upset. Everyone should get upset. When, when Hitler was greasing the Jews, people were saying, "Don't get me upset. Your bumming me out." My duty as a human being is to be pissed off. Jesus Christ, not that it makes a difference on the first fucking place. Nothing ever changes, man. Fifty years from now we're all gonna be dead and there'll be new people standing here drinking beer, eating pizza, bitching and moaning about the price of Oreos, and they won't even know we were ever here. And then fifty years after that those suckers will be dust and bones and there'll be all these generations of suckers trying to figure out what they're doing on this fucking planet and they'll all be full of shit. It's all so fucking futile.
Stuck with what guy?	What?
What?	You said you didn't want to get stuck with some guy. What guy?

Good.

I say we head out.

Agreed--let's move it.

Are you hungry? We can discuss some final arrangements over some slop in the galley.

Captain it would be impossible to turn down such a gracious request.

Of the separate chemicals--I don't know, uh, offhand--

How much of this shit do they have, White!!

They must have got their hands on a test vial!

What does that mean?

There's enough in one vial...

Do you mean to say you'd set it off in your own country?

Naturally. It would kill us just as surely even if we set it off in your country. But this way we know it's safe, and we don't have the problem of delivering it.

Mister President, I can't buy this malarkey; they wouldn't set the damn thing off. Why should they?

You're absolutely right. We wouldn't. No sane nation ever would. That's why it was designed to trigger itself automatically.

Then all you have to do is untrigger it.

Ah, but if we were able to untrigger it, that would be defeating its purpose. All our enemies would have to do, would be to warn us in advance that they were going to violate one of our unalterable triggering conditions. We would bluff, naturally, but in the end we would be insane not to untrigger it. Now we can say: There is no point trying to intimidate us, we don't control the Doomsday Machine.

Now, snap out of it, fella!

Who the hell do you think you are, sir???

Yes!

General Schmuck?

Yes! Who the hell is this?

May I be stupid enough to inquire WHY IN HELL THE BASE COMMANDER OF THE 843d BOMB WING DID A THING LIKE THAT ???

To be perfectly honest, Mister President, we really aren't sure.

You aren't sure!

Not exactly, sir. You see, Colonel Puntrich at Air Command HQ received a call from him about twenty minutes ago. He asked General Ripper if he had issued the Go-code and the attack order, and General Ripper said: "Sure, the orders came from me. They're on their way in, and I advise you to get the rest of Air Command in after them. My boys will give you the best kind of start, and you sure as hell won't stop them now." Then he hung up.

Damn it! Damn it! I've been telling you all for years you've got too damned many psychoes in the service.

Be fair, Mister President. Didn't we initiate the Human Reliability tests for all personnel handling nuclear weapons?

Buck, when I told you to give them right up to the top, you said we couldn't insult a general officer by asking him to pass a test to see if he's a psycho.

Is there any chance a single aircraft can penetrate the entire enemy Air Defense, when its course and target are known?

If I can speak freely, sir -- look, these guys talk big, but frankly, we think they're short of know-how. You can't just take a bunch of ignorant peasants and expect them to understand a machine like one of our boys, and I don't mean that as an insult, Mister Ambassador. Hell, we all know what kind of guts your people have. Why just look how many millions of 'em those Nazis killed and, hell, they still wouldn't quit.

General, stick to the point, please.

Well, sir, if the A/C's a really good man, I mean really sharp, why he can barrel that plane along so low - well you just have to see it some time. A real big plane, like a Sting Ray, zig-zagging in, its jet exhaust frying chickens in the barnyard --- Has he a chance?.....Hell, yes! He has one hell of a chance.

Listen, King, old buddy. On behalf---

Skip it and jump, damn you! This flak's so close, I can smell it.

What do you mean?

Well, we sure as hell aren't going home just because the enemy tells us to.

Wait a minute, Major. "OPE," that's the recall code. Where would they get that?

You tell me.

They must have gotten it from the base. No one else would know it.

Why should they call us back?

How the hell do I know? Maybe the war's over.

We're on course, Major. Just fixed our position on that river back there.

What the hell are you doing here, Lothar?

I thought I'd go along for the ride.

Now what the hell did you want to go and do a thing like that for, Lothar?

I thought maybe you'd like some company.

King, would you mind if I keep me hands on the wheel when you take her in?

I'd be mighty proud if you did, Lothar.

Thanks, King. I've always wanted to take one of these big babies in.

Listen, Lothar. You know that crack I made about your...butt?

Forget it.

I just wanted you to know I didn't mean anything by it.

Sure, King.

Well, I just wanted you to know how I felt. Hell, I know Air Command wouldn't have taken you if you weren't okay. And don't think I don't know some of our best ball-players and entertainers are of Negro descent.

You know, one moment things are so fucked up than you look at it from a totally different angle and it makes sense.

Yeah.

Did you ever hear that saying, "This too shall pass"?

Sure, all the time, in Group.

In Group?

Rehab. Outpatient. I have to go once a week. It's kind of like AA.

Oh, yeah, you had to go to Highgate. That must've been intense.

Intense.

How long were you in there?

Uh, ninety days. And now I just have to go once a week. See, I'm rehabilitated.

Well, you shouldn't drink. Are you gonna drink?

No. Oh, maybe. Fuck.

I mean, that would suck if you had to go back to rehab.

Yeah, it would suck big time. I'd kill myself first.

It was pretty bad, huh?

It was like hell with windows. You know, there's shit on the walls. Kids my age sucking their thumbs. I mean, every day I would, I'd wake up in my cell and I'd think, my parents put me here. Why? Why? Because I stayed out all night one time. Uh, because I broke the VCR when I was drunk. Because I was out of control. I thought my parents loved me.

We were all riding around and it suddenly hit me what we were doing. We were getting off on the fact that we're in a car teen feet longer than all the rest. And I got out and I just started walking.

Yeah.

Well, what it was... I, I don't want to admit it, but, you know, I was jealous of Pony.

Well, sure, he's rich and he's famous. He's got everything and you've got nothing.

Yeah, but, when I was walking, I realized that he's stuck in that limo all the time. He's stuck with his interviews, he's stuck with his autograph, he has to do whatever his manager tells him to do, you know? He's not free. He's just part of the machine, and if you think about it, freedom's all that there really is.

Yeah, I guess.

You know? And it used to scare me so much that I didn't know what was coming in my life.

Mm-hm.

You know, like, like, I would always think, uh, you know, what if I make the wrong move? But maybe there isn't any right move. You know? I mean, look at us. You know, we all dress the same, we all talk the same, we all fuck the same, we all watch the same TV. Nobody's really different, even if they think they're different. "Oh, boy, look at my tattoo, you know?" And see, that's what makes me freak. Because I can do anything I want, as long as I don't care about the result.

Hey!

Hey. Do you have a cigarette?

No I quit.

Hey, you said you did a video?

Yup.

What's it about?

It's really not about anything.

Oh. Well, what's it on?

A cloud.

A cloud?

Yeah. There was this cloud and I video taped it.

Oh.

I was doing schrooms and I saw this cloud. It looks excellent on tape. The video is like my head and, and everything, you know, is, like, is like in there that I see. You know? Plus, I'm gonna come down here one night and walk around inside the Circle A with the camera and tape shit.

Oh, that's so amazing. I wish I could see it.

You can see it. Whenever you want. Don't you, um, work at a hospital or something?

Yeah, I'm a nurse's aide at Mercy.

Your a nurse?

No, I, you know, I help 'em out. I empty bedpans and bring 'em lunch. That kind of thing.

Any gunshot victims?

Oh, some of 'em. But it's mostly just strokes and shit. I mean, most of 'em just sleep all the time and get kind of yellow. Usually they die id they're, you know, really yellow.

Sounds like a bummer.

Oh, no, it's not. I mean, they're not all totally in a coma. I mean, they know when I'm helping them.

Mm. Hey, what are you doing now?

Right now?

Yeah.

I don't know. Waiting, I guess. You know?

Do you wanna go to the van?

Now?

Yeah, we could hang out and smoke a dube, you know?

I don't smoke dubes and I don't really hang out. But I'll go back. Okay.

Okay, whatever you want.

Oh yeah? Oh, how'd you ship it over there, man? Federal Express? Hm? By the time it got there it'd be way cold and coagulated. Total waste. Cheese be stuck to the cardboard.

Buff, that slice is the difference between life and death for some half-dead Bangladeshi.

Yo, your gettin' me all upset here.

You should get upset. Everyone should get upset. When, when Hitler was greasing the Jews, people were saying, "Don't get me upset. Your bumming me out." My duty as a human being is to be pissed off. Jesus Christ, not that it makes a difference on the first fucking place. Nothing ever changes, man. Fifty years from now we're all gonna be dead and there'll be new people standing here drinking beer, eating pizza, bitching and moaning about the price of Oreos, and they won't even know we were ever here. And then fifty years after that those suckers will be dust and bones and there'll be all these generations of suckers trying to figure out what they're doing on this fucking planet and they'll all be full of shit. It's all so fucking futile.

Stuck with what guy?

What?

You said you didn't want to get stuck with some guy. What guy?