MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

Input stringlengths 2 1.52k	Response stringlengths 2 2.76k
Okay, you win. I'll call you Mom. Now can I move into the dorms?	No.
Shit, John! What the hell were you doing out there?!	Nothing.
Nothing.	You're kidding with that answer, right?
You're kidding with that answer, right?	I just went for a walk. It's no big deal.
I just went for a walk. It's no big deal.	Wrong. There are rules in this house and you're going to follow them whether you like it or not.
Wrong. There are rules in this house and you're going to follow them whether you like it or not.	Or what? You're gonna shoot me?
Or what? You're gonna shoot me?	It's an option.
It's an option.	Well, maybe if you'd let me live in the dorms, I wouldn't have to sneak out to spend time with my friends.
Well, maybe if you'd let me live in the dorms, I wouldn't have to sneak out to spend time with my friends.	Oh, so now it's my fault?
Oh, so now it's my fault?	Just forget it...
BLAAAAAGGGHHHHH!	Shit, Linda!
Shit, Linda!	You're so easy...
You're so easy...	Wasn't scaring the hell out of me once today enough?!
Wasn't scaring the hell out of me once today enough?!	Nope. Hey, you think I'll win scariest costume?
Nope. Hey, you think I'll win scariest costume?	Linda, you are without a doubt the scariest person on campus.
Linda, you are without a doubt the scariest person on campus.	Thanks!
Thanks!	Where's Shane?
Where's Shane?	Condom Boy is waiting for me in the cafeteria.
Condom Boy is waiting for me in the cafeteria.	But the dance is in the gymnasium.
But the dance is in the gymnasium.	Very insightful.
Beth, who's that guy that lives across the hall from you?	Why? You interested?
Why? You interested?	No! I keep seeing him staring out his window. Watching me.
No! I keep seeing him staring out his window. Watching me.	You mean Tommy. Yeah, on the weirdness scale he's about an eleven. Supposedly some scary shit happened to him when he was a kid. Messed up his head. He's harmless, though. Probably just lonely.
He told me about the terrible things that happened here. In our house.	What the fuck are you doing letting strangers in without --
What the fuck are you doing letting strangers in without --	John, they sound Jamie Lloyd this morning! Someone tried to kill her!
John, they sound Jamie Lloyd this morning! Someone tried to kill her!	What in God's name are you talking about, woman? When are you gonna stop listening to those damned talk shows?
What in God's name are you talking about, woman? When are you gonna stop listening to those damned talk shows?	I'm getting the children out of here. At least until we know what we're dealing with. John, I want you to come with us.
I'm getting the children out of here. At least until we know what we're dealing with. John, I want you to come with us.	Debra, you're fuckin' insane.
Debra, you're fuckin' insane.	You knew, didn't you, John? You knew.
Miss me, baby?	I dunno, boy.
I dunno, boy.	Hm?
Hm?	It's a bitch.
It's a bitch.	A bitch.
A bitch.	Didn't recognize you.
Didn't recognize you.	We've never met.
We've never met.	I wonder who'll recognize us first? They'll wet their pants.
I wonder who'll recognize us first? They'll wet their pants.	I hope the men do. I would rather the women didn't.
I hope the men do. I would rather the women didn't.	I'm gonna wet my pants.
Home, sweet home.	One thing, anyway--at least Penelope didn't throw out all your crap. I bet Alice threw out all my crap after I'd been gone a week.
One thing, anyway--at least Penelope didn't throw out all your crap. I bet Alice threw out all my crap after I'd been gone a week.	We'll see.
You know what gets me?	Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.	How everybody says "fuck" and "shit" all the time. I used to be scared shitless I'd say "fuck" or "shit" in public, by accident. Now everybody says "fuck" and "shit," "fuck" and "shit" all the time. Something very big must have happened while we were out of the country.
How everybody says "fuck" and "shit" all the time. I used to be scared shitless I'd say "fuck" or "shit" in public, by accident. Now everybody says "fuck" and "shit," "fuck" and "shit" all the time. Something very big must have happened while we were out of the country.	Looseleaf--will you get the hell home?
Looseleaf--will you get the hell home?	At least we found the diamonds.
At least we found the diamonds.	At least!
At least!	I'd really feel stupid if we didn't bring anything back home.
I'd really feel stupid if we didn't bring anything back home.	It's enough that you've brought yourself home!
It's enough that you've brought yourself home!	I wish you'd tell Alice that. And that Goddamn Mrs. Wheeler.
I wish you'd tell Alice that. And that Goddamn Mrs. Wheeler.	Tell them yourself!
Tell them yourself!	You don't know my mother-in-law, boy.
You don't know my mother-in-law, boy.	After eight years in the jungle with you, I know Mrs. Wheeler better than I know anybody in the universe!
After eight years in the jungle with you, I know Mrs. Wheeler better than I know anybody in the universe!	I didn't tell you everything.
I didn't tell you everything.	The time we were in a tree for fourteen days, you certainly tried to tell me everything about Mrs. Wheeler.
The time we were in a tree for fourteen days, you certainly tried to tell me everything about Mrs. Wheeler.	I didn't even scratch the surface. You're lucky, boy. You come home, and nobody's here. When I go home, everybody's going to be there.
I didn't even scratch the surface. You're lucky, boy. You come home, and nobody's here. When I go home, everybody's going to be there.	This room is full of ghosts.
This room is full of ghosts.	You're lucky, boy. My house is gonna be filled with people.
You know what gets me?	Go home!
Go home!	Thank God we found the fucking diamonds!
Thank God we found the fucking diamonds!	The hell with the diamonds!
The hell with the diamonds!	You were rich before. This is the first time I was ever rich.
You were rich before. This is the first time I was ever rich.	Go home! Show them how rich you are for a change!
Go home! Show them how rich you are for a change!	Can I have the Cadillac?
Can I have the Cadillac?	Take the Cadillac and drive it off a cliff, for all I care.
Take the Cadillac and drive it off a cliff, for all I care.	What'll you do for transportation?
What'll you do for transportation?	I'll buy a hundred more Cadillacs. Go home!
I'll buy a hundred more Cadillacs. Go home!	You know what gets me about that Cadillac?
You know what gets me about that Cadillac?	Go home!
Go home!	When I drive it, I feel like I'm in the middle of a great big wad of bubblegum. I don't hear anything, I don't feel anything. I figure somebody else is driving. It's a bitch.
When I drive it, I feel like I'm in the middle of a great big wad of bubblegum. I don't hear anything, I don't feel anything. I figure somebody else is driving. It's a bitch.	Go home.
Go home.	I'm liable to find anything!
I'm liable to find anything!	That's the point! Walk in there and find whatever there is to find--before Alice can cover it up.
That's the point! Walk in there and find whatever there is to find--before Alice can cover it up.	I know, I know. I dunno. At least she's in the same house. Sure was spooky, looking in the window there, and there she was.
I know, I know. I dunno. At least she's in the same house. Sure was spooky, looking in the window there, and there she was.	So long, Colonel.
So long, Colonel.	You know what gets me?
You know what gets me?	Let's talk about it some other time.
Let's talk about it some other time.	How short the skirts are.
How short the skirts are.	Good night, Colonel. It's been beautiful.
Good night, Colonel. It's been beautiful.	Something very important about sex must have happened while we were gone.
Go to the funeral?	Of course! Not only go to it but go to it in full uniform! Rent a uniform!
Of course! Not only go to it but go to it in full uniform! Rent a uniform!	That's against the law, isn't it? I can't wear a uniform anymore.
That's against the law, isn't it? I can't wear a uniform anymore.	Wear your uniform and every decoration, and let them despise you, if they dare.
Wear your uniform and every decoration, and let them despise you, if they dare.	Alice would be absolutely tear-ass.
Alice would be absolutely tear-ass.	When I was a naive young recruit in Spain, I used to wonder why soldiers bayoneted oil paintings, shot the noses off of statues and defecated into grand pianos. I now understand: It was to teach civilians the deepest sort of respect for men in uniform-- uncontrollable fear. To our women.
When I was a naive young recruit in Spain, I used to wonder why soldiers bayoneted oil paintings, shot the noses off of statues and defecated into grand pianos. I now understand: It was to teach civilians the deepest sort of respect for men in uniform-- uncontrollable fear. To our women.	I didn't know we had any women left.
I didn't know we had any women left.	The world is teeming with women-- ours to enjoy.
The world is teeming with women-- ours to enjoy.	Every time I start thinking like that I get the clap.
Are we really going to find out where the elephants go to die?	I'd rather go to Viet Nam.
I'd rather go to Viet Nam.	Would somebody please pass me the catsup?
Would somebody please pass me the catsup?	What you say is, "Pass the fucking catsup."
What you say is, "Pass the fucking catsup."	Pass the fucking catsup.
Who's going to fly our helicopter now?	What?
What?	We got to get another pilot.
We got to get another pilot.	For what?
For what?	For Africa.
For Africa.	Do you really think that Harold Ryan would go to Africa with a vacuum cleaner salesman?
Do you really think that Harold Ryan would go to Africa with a vacuum cleaner salesman?	You invited me.
You invited me.	To make an ass of yourself.
To make an ass of yourself.	What went wrong?
What went wrong?	We're ahead of schedule, that's all. You're finding out here what you would have found out in Africa-- that you are a rabbit, born to be eaten alive.
We're ahead of schedule, that's all. You're finding out here what you would have found out in Africa-- that you are a rabbit, born to be eaten alive.	Gee whiz--

Okay, you win. I'll call you Mom. Now can I move into the dorms?

No.

Shit, John! What the hell were you doing out there?!

Nothing.

You're kidding with that answer, right?

I just went for a walk. It's no big deal.

Wrong. There are rules in this house and you're going to follow them whether you like it or not.

Or what? You're gonna shoot me?

It's an option.

Well, maybe if you'd let me live in the dorms, I wouldn't have to sneak out to spend time with my friends.

Oh, so now it's my fault?

Just forget it...

BLAAAAAGGGHHHHH!

Shit, Linda!

You're so easy...

Wasn't scaring the hell out of me once today enough?!

Nope. Hey, you think I'll win scariest costume?

Linda, you are without a doubt the scariest person on campus.

Thanks!

Where's Shane?

Condom Boy is waiting for me in the cafeteria.

But the dance is in the gymnasium.

Very insightful.

Beth, who's that guy that lives across the hall from you?

Why? You interested?

No! I keep seeing him staring out his window. Watching me.

You mean Tommy. Yeah, on the weirdness scale he's about an eleven. Supposedly some scary shit happened to him when he was a kid. Messed up his head. He's harmless, though. Probably just lonely.

He told me about the terrible things that happened here. In our house.

What the fuck are you doing letting strangers in without --

John, they sound Jamie Lloyd this morning! Someone tried to kill her!

What in God's name are you talking about, woman? When are you gonna stop listening to those damned talk shows?

I'm getting the children out of here. At least until we know what we're dealing with. John, I want you to come with us.

Debra, you're fuckin' insane.

You knew, didn't you, John? You knew.

Miss me, baby?

I dunno, boy.

Hm?

It's a bitch.

A bitch.

Didn't recognize you.

We've never met.

I wonder who'll recognize us first? They'll wet their pants.

I hope the men do. I would rather the women didn't.

I'm gonna wet my pants.

Home, sweet home.

One thing, anyway--at least Penelope didn't throw out all your crap. I bet Alice threw out all my crap after I'd been gone a week.

We'll see.

You know what gets me?

Oh, shit.

How everybody says "fuck" and "shit" all the time. I used to be scared shitless I'd say "fuck" or "shit" in public, by accident. Now everybody says "fuck" and "shit," "fuck" and "shit" all the time. Something very big must have happened while we were out of the country.

Looseleaf--will you get the hell home?

At least we found the diamonds.

At least!

I'd really feel stupid if we didn't bring anything back home.

It's enough that you've brought yourself home!

I wish you'd tell Alice that. And that Goddamn Mrs. Wheeler.

Tell them yourself!

You don't know my mother-in-law, boy.

After eight years in the jungle with you, I know Mrs. Wheeler better than I know anybody in the universe!

I didn't tell you everything.

The time we were in a tree for fourteen days, you certainly tried to tell me everything about Mrs. Wheeler.

I didn't even scratch the surface. You're lucky, boy. You come home, and nobody's here. When I go home, everybody's going to be there.

This room is full of ghosts.

You're lucky, boy. My house is gonna be filled with people.

You know what gets me?

Go home!

Thank God we found the fucking diamonds!

The hell with the diamonds!

You were rich before. This is the first time I was ever rich.

Go home! Show them how rich you are for a change!

Can I have the Cadillac?

Take the Cadillac and drive it off a cliff, for all I care.

What'll you do for transportation?

I'll buy a hundred more Cadillacs. Go home!

You know what gets me about that Cadillac?

Go home!

When I drive it, I feel like I'm in the middle of a great big wad of bubblegum. I don't hear anything, I don't feel anything. I figure somebody else is driving. It's a bitch.

Go home.

I'm liable to find anything!

That's the point! Walk in there and find whatever there is to find--before Alice can cover it up.

I know, I know. I dunno. At least she's in the same house. Sure was spooky, looking in the window there, and there she was.

So long, Colonel.

You know what gets me?

Let's talk about it some other time.

How short the skirts are.

Good night, Colonel. It's been beautiful.

Something very important about sex must have happened while we were gone.

Go to the funeral?

Of course! Not only go to it but go to it in full uniform! Rent a uniform!

That's against the law, isn't it? I can't wear a uniform anymore.

Wear your uniform and every decoration, and let them despise you, if they dare.

Alice would be absolutely tear-ass.

When I was a naive young recruit in Spain, I used to wonder why soldiers bayoneted oil paintings, shot the noses off of statues and defecated into grand pianos. I now understand: It was to teach civilians the deepest sort of respect for men in uniform-- uncontrollable fear. To our women.

I didn't know we had any women left.

The world is teeming with women-- ours to enjoy.

Every time I start thinking like that I get the clap.

Are we really going to find out where the elephants go to die?

I'd rather go to Viet Nam.

Would somebody please pass me the catsup?

What you say is, "Pass the fucking catsup."

Pass the fucking catsup.

Who's going to fly our helicopter now?

What?

We got to get another pilot.

For what?

For Africa.

Do you really think that Harold Ryan would go to Africa with a vacuum cleaner salesman?

You invited me.

To make an ass of yourself.

What went wrong?

We're ahead of schedule, that's all. You're finding out here what you would have found out in Africa-- that you are a rabbit, born to be eaten alive.

Gee whiz--