MichaelOrme/Profane · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Well, I say fuck therapy and what's that stuff you take, Xanax?	And Lexapro, yes.
And Lexapro, yes.	Well, I say fuck that. You need to get your joint worked on, that's what you need.
Well, I say fuck that. You need to get your joint worked on, that's what you need.	Jack. This week is not about me. It's about you. I'm going to show you a good time. We're going to drink a lot of good wine, play some golf, eat some great food, enjoy the scenery and send you off in style.
Jack. This week is not about me. It's about you. I'm going to show you a good time. We're going to drink a lot of good wine, play some golf, eat some great food, enjoy the scenery and send you off in style.	And get your bone smooched.
How would you rate this one?	Usually they start you on the wines with learning disabilities, but this one's pretty damn good. This is the new one, right, Chris?
Doesn't mean shit. When Christine was a hostess at Sushi Roku, she wore a big engagement ring to keep guys from hitting on her. Think it worked? Fuck no. How do you think I met her?	This gal's married to I think a Philosophy professor at UC Santa Barbara.
This gal's married to I think a Philosophy professor at UC Santa Barbara.	So what's a professor's wife doing waitressing? Obviously that's over.
So what's a professor's wife doing waitressing? Obviously that's over.	You don't know anything about this woman. Calm down. Let's just eat, okay? The duck is excellent and pairs nicely with the Highliner Pinot.
So what're we going to have? Pigs in a blanket? The "rancher's special breakfast"? Or maybe just some grease and fat with a side of lard?	So what's the plan today?
So what's the plan today?	We head north, begin the grape tour up there, make our way south so the more we drink the closer we get to the motel.
Jesus Christ, Miles. Get out!	I want to go home now.
I want to go home now.	You've been divorced for two years already. People move on. She has! It's like you enjoy self-pity. Makes you feel special or something.
You've been divorced for two years already. People move on. She has! It's like you enjoy self-pity. Makes you feel special or something.	Is she bringing him to the wedding?
Is she bringing him to the wedding?	What do you think?
What do you think?	You drop this bombshell on me. Why didn't you tell me before?
You drop this bombshell on me. Why didn't you tell me before?	Because I knew you'd freak out and probably get so depressed you wouldn't even come on this trip. But then I figured here would be the best place to tell you. We're here to forget about all that shit. We're here to party!
Because I knew you'd freak out and probably get so depressed you wouldn't even come on this trip. But then I figured here would be the best place to tell you. We're here to forget about all that shit. We're here to party!	I'm going to be a fucking pariah. Everyone's just going to be holding their breath to see if I'm going to get drunk and make a scene. Plus Tony fucking Levin?
I'm going to be a fucking pariah. Everyone's just going to be holding their breath to see if I'm going to get drunk and make a scene. Plus Tony fucking Levin?	No, no, no. It's cool. I talked to Victoria. She's cool. Everyone's cool.
No, no, no. It's cool. I talked to Victoria. She's cool. Everyone's cool.	You've all been talking about it? Behind my back? Talking about it?
Stephanie, holy shit. Chick had it all going on.	Well, she is cute.
Well, she is cute.	Cute? She's a fucking hottie. And you almost tell her I'm getting married. What's the matter with you? Gotta love it. Gotta love it.
Stop it. You are blowing a great opportunity here, Miles. Fucking Maya, man. She's great. She's cool. She's funny. She knows wine. What is this morose come-down bullshit? These girls want to party. And what was that fucking ten-minute lecture on, what was it, Vouvrays? I mean, come on!	Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the whole scenario.
Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the whole scenario.	Oh Jesus, Miles.
Goddamn, Miles, she is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.	Well, I'm glad you got it out of your system. Congratulations. Mission accomplished.
I was hoping to get some understanding from you. And I'm not getting it.	Understanding of what?
Understanding of what?	Like I might be in love with another woman.
Like I might be in love with another woman.	In love? Twenty-four hours with some wine-pourer chick and you think you're in love? And give up everything?
In love? Twenty-four hours with some wine-pourer chick and you think you're in love? And give up everything?	Look who's talking. You've been there.
Look who's talking. You've been there.	Yes I have, and do I look like a happy man? Was all that drama with Brenda a happy thing for me to do? Huh? Was it? Is she a part of my life now?
Yes I have, and do I look like a happy man? Was all that drama with Brenda a happy thing for me to do? Huh? Was it? Is she a part of my life now?	This is totally different. I'm talking about avoiding what you're talking about. That's the distinction. I have not made the commitment yet. I am not married. I have not said the words. In a few days, I might get married, and if I do, then I won't be doing stuff like this anymore. Otherwise, what's the whole point of getting married?
This is totally different. I'm talking about avoiding what you're talking about. That's the distinction. I have not made the commitment yet. I am not married. I have not said the words. In a few days, I might get married, and if I do, then I won't be doing stuff like this anymore. Otherwise, what's the whole point of getting married?	And what about Stephanie? She's a woman -- with a kid. A single mom. What do you think she's looking for? Huh?
And what about Stephanie? She's a woman -- with a kid. A single mom. What do you think she's looking for? Huh?	Here's what I'm thinking. We move up here, you and me, buy a vineyard. You design your own wine; I'll handle the business side. Then you get inspired and write a new novel. As for me, if an audition comes along, hell, LA'S two hours away. Not even.
Here's what I'm thinking. We move up here, you and me, buy a vineyard. You design your own wine; I'll handle the business side. Then you get inspired and write a new novel. As for me, if an audition comes along, hell, LA'S two hours away. Not even.	You're crazy. You've gone crazy.
You're crazy. You've gone crazy.	What do you care anyway? You don't even like Christine.
What do you care anyway? You don't even like Christine.	What? Of course I like Christine.
What? Of course I like Christine.	You said she was shallow. Yeah, and a nouveau riche.
You said she was shallow. Yeah, and a nouveau riche.	That was three years ago after that first party!
That was three years ago after that first party!	Look, Miles, all I know is I'm an actor. All I have is my instinct. My intuition -- that's all I have. And you're asking me to go against it. And that's just wrong.
Nice shot.	You're an asshole.
What about your agent? Hear anything yet?	Nope.
Nope.	What do you think's going on?
What do you think's going on?	Could be anything.
Could be anything.	Been checking your messages?
Been checking your messages?	Obsessively.
Obsessively.	Huh.
Huh.	They probably think my book is such a piece of shit that it's not even worthy of a response. I guess I'll just have to learn how to kiss off three years of my life.
They probably think my book is such a piece of shit that it's not even worthy of a response. I guess I'll just have to learn how to kiss off three years of my life.	But you don't know yet, so your negativity's a bit premature, wouldn't you say?
Fucker hit into us.	Hey, asshole! That's not cool!
Hey, asshole! That's not cool!	Throw me his ball.
So tell me everything. Details. I like details.	No.
No.	What?
What?	It's private.
It's private.	You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.
You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.	Let's leave it alone.
You didn't get any, did you? You're a homo.	Just stop, okay? Make something up, and that's what happened. Whatever you want. Write my confession, and I'll sign it. Just stop pushing me all the time! I can't take it! You're an infant! This is all a big party for you, but not for me! This is serious. And you -- Just... leave me alone, okay? You're fucking me up.
Just stop, okay? Make something up, and that's what happened. Whatever you want. Write my confession, and I'll sign it. Just stop pushing me all the time! I can't take it! You're an infant! This is all a big party for you, but not for me! This is serious. And you -- Just... leave me alone, okay? You're fucking me up.	Wow. Okay. Calm down. Sorry.
Tastes like the back of a fucking LA schoolbus. Probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine mouthwash bullshit. Fucking Raid.	I don't know. Tastes okay to me. Hey, they got a reserve pinot.
I don't know. Tastes okay to me. Hey, they got a reserve pinot.	Let me use your phone.
Let me use your phone.	What's up?
What's up?	I can't take it anymore. I've got to call Evelyn.
Just write another one. You have lots of ideas, right?	No, I'm finished. I'm not a writer. I'm a middle-school English teacher. I'm going to spend the rest of my life grading essays and reading the works of others. It's okay. I like books. The world doesn't give a shit what I have to say. I'm unnecessary. I'm so insignificant, I can't even kill myself.
No, I'm finished. I'm not a writer. I'm a middle-school English teacher. I'm going to spend the rest of my life grading essays and reading the works of others. It's okay. I like books. The world doesn't give a shit what I have to say. I'm unnecessary. I'm so insignificant, I can't even kill myself.	What's that supposed to mean?
What's that supposed to mean?	You know -- Hemingway, Sexton, Woolf, Plath, Delmore Schwartz. You can't kill yourself before you've even been published.
You know -- Hemingway, Sexton, Woolf, Plath, Delmore Schwartz. You can't kill yourself before you've even been published.	What about that guy who wrote Confederacy of Dunces? He committed suicide before he got published, and look how famous he is.
What about that guy who wrote Confederacy of Dunces? He committed suicide before he got published, and look how famous he is.	Thanks.
Thanks.	Don't give up. You're going to make it.
Don't give up. You're going to make it.	Half my life is over, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage.
Half my life is over, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage.	See? Right there. Just what you just said. That's beautiful. A thumbprint on a skyscraper. I couldn't write that.
See? Right there. Just what you just said. That's beautiful. A thumbprint on a skyscraper. I couldn't write that.	Neither could I. I think it's Bukowski.
So how did Stephanie know it was Saturday? We didn't get into that with Gary.	Huh. Let me think.
Huh. Let me think.	You sure you didn't say anything to Maya?
You sure you didn't say anything to Maya?	Sure I'm sure. And just what are you implying? I'm really pissed off at you about all this, if you want to know the truth. What's Maya going to think of me now just for associating with you? You're the one who's sabotaging me, not the other way around, pal. Not by a longshot.
Fucking chick's married.	What?
What?	Her husband works a night shift or something, and he comes home, and I'm on the floor with my cock in his wife's ass.
Her husband works a night shift or something, and he comes home, and I'm on the floor with my cock in his wife's ass.	Jesus, Jack. Jesus. And you walked all the way back from Solvang?
Jesus, Jack. Jesus. And you walked all the way back from Solvang?	Ran. Twisted my ankle too.
Ran. Twisted my ankle too.	That's five clicks, Jackson.
That's five clicks, Jackson.	Fucking-a it's five clicks! At one point I had to cut through an ostrich farm. Fuckers are mean.
We gotta go back.	What?
What?	I left my wallet. My credit cards, cash, fucking ID, everything. We gotta go back.
I left my wallet. My credit cards, cash, fucking ID, everything. We gotta go back.	Big deal. We'll call right now and cancel your cards.
Big deal. We'll call right now and cancel your cards.	You don't understand. The wedding bands. The wedding bands are in my wallet.
You don't understand. The wedding bands. The wedding bands are in my wallet.	Okay, so they were in your wallet, and you left your wallet somewhere. Some bar. Christine'll understand.
Okay, so they were in your wallet, and you left your wallet somewhere. Some bar. Christine'll understand.	No. She ordered them special. Took her forever to find them. They've got this design on them with dolphins and our names engraved in Sanskrit. We've got to go back. Christine'll fucking crucify me.
No. She ordered them special. Took her forever to find them. They've got this design on them with dolphins and our names engraved in Sanskrit. We've got to go back. Christine'll fucking crucify me.	No way. No way.
No way. No way.	Please, Miles, please.
Please, Miles, please.	Forget it. Your wallet was stolen at a bar. Happens every day.
She tell you she was married?	Yeah.
Yeah.	So what the fuck were you thinking?
So what the fuck were you thinking?	Wasn't supposed to be back till six. Fucker rolls in at five.
Wasn't supposed to be back till six. Fucker rolls in at five.	Cutting it a little close, don't you think? So how was she? Compared to Stephanie, say.
Cutting it a little close, don't you think? So how was she? Compared to Stephanie, say.	Horny as shit. Flopping around like a landed trout.
Want me to drive?	No, I'm okay.
No, I'm okay.	Hey, why don't you invite Maya to the wedding?
Hey, why don't you invite Maya to the wedding?	Somehow I don't think inviting Maya to your wedding is the right move. In fact, after your bullshit, it's going to be hard for me to even go to the Hitching Post again.
Somehow I don't think inviting Maya to your wedding is the right move. In fact, after your bullshit, it's going to be hard for me to even go to the Hitching Post again.	You're so negative.
What the fuck!	You said it looked like a car accident.
You said it looked like a car accident.	What the fuck!
What the fuck!	I'll pay for it.
Victoria! How the hell are you?	Fine. What's, uh, what's on your mind?

Well, I say fuck therapy and what's that stuff you take, Xanax?

And Lexapro, yes.

Well, I say fuck that. You need to get your joint worked on, that's what you need.

Jack. This week is not about me. It's about you. I'm going to show you a good time. We're going to drink a lot of good wine, play some golf, eat some great food, enjoy the scenery and send you off in style.

And get your bone smooched.

How would you rate this one?

Usually they start you on the wines with learning disabilities, but this one's pretty damn good. This is the new one, right, Chris?

Doesn't mean shit. When Christine was a hostess at Sushi Roku, she wore a big engagement ring to keep guys from hitting on her. Think it worked? Fuck no. How do you think I met her?

This gal's married to I think a Philosophy professor at UC Santa Barbara.

So what's a professor's wife doing waitressing? Obviously that's over.

You don't know anything about this woman. Calm down. Let's just eat, okay? The duck is excellent and pairs nicely with the Highliner Pinot.

So what're we going to have? Pigs in a blanket? The "rancher's special breakfast"? Or maybe just some grease and fat with a side of lard?

So what's the plan today?

We head north, begin the grape tour up there, make our way south so the more we drink the closer we get to the motel.

Jesus Christ, Miles. Get out!

I want to go home now.

You've been divorced for two years already. People move on. She has! It's like you enjoy self-pity. Makes you feel special or something.

Is she bringing him to the wedding?

What do you think?

You drop this bombshell on me. Why didn't you tell me before?

Because I knew you'd freak out and probably get so depressed you wouldn't even come on this trip. But then I figured here would be the best place to tell you. We're here to forget about all that shit. We're here to party!

I'm going to be a fucking pariah. Everyone's just going to be holding their breath to see if I'm going to get drunk and make a scene. Plus Tony fucking Levin?

No, no, no. It's cool. I talked to Victoria. She's cool. Everyone's cool.

You've all been talking about it? Behind my back? Talking about it?

Stephanie, holy shit. Chick had it all going on.

Well, she is cute.

Cute? She's a fucking hottie. And you almost tell her I'm getting married. What's the matter with you? Gotta love it. Gotta love it.

Stop it. You are blowing a great opportunity here, Miles. Fucking Maya, man. She's great. She's cool. She's funny. She knows wine. What is this morose come-down bullshit? These girls want to party. And what was that fucking ten-minute lecture on, what was it, Vouvrays? I mean, come on!

Let's just say I'm uncomfortable with the whole scenario.

Oh Jesus, Miles.

Goddamn, Miles, she is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.

Well, I'm glad you got it out of your system. Congratulations. Mission accomplished.

I was hoping to get some understanding from you. And I'm not getting it.

Understanding of what?

Like I might be in love with another woman.

In love? Twenty-four hours with some wine-pourer chick and you think you're in love? And give up everything?

Look who's talking. You've been there.

Yes I have, and do I look like a happy man? Was all that drama with Brenda a happy thing for me to do? Huh? Was it? Is she a part of my life now?

This is totally different. I'm talking about avoiding what you're talking about. That's the distinction. I have not made the commitment yet. I am not married. I have not said the words. In a few days, I might get married, and if I do, then I won't be doing stuff like this anymore. Otherwise, what's the whole point of getting married?

And what about Stephanie? She's a woman -- with a kid. A single mom. What do you think she's looking for? Huh?

Here's what I'm thinking. We move up here, you and me, buy a vineyard. You design your own wine; I'll handle the business side. Then you get inspired and write a new novel. As for me, if an audition comes along, hell, LA'S two hours away. Not even.

You're crazy. You've gone crazy.

What do you care anyway? You don't even like Christine.

What? Of course I like Christine.

You said she was shallow. Yeah, and a nouveau riche.

That was three years ago after that first party!

Look, Miles, all I know is I'm an actor. All I have is my instinct. My intuition -- that's all I have. And you're asking me to go against it. And that's just wrong.

Nice shot.

You're an asshole.

What about your agent? Hear anything yet?

Nope.

What do you think's going on?

Could be anything.

Been checking your messages?

Obsessively.

Huh.

They probably think my book is such a piece of shit that it's not even worthy of a response. I guess I'll just have to learn how to kiss off three years of my life.

But you don't know yet, so your negativity's a bit premature, wouldn't you say?

Fucker hit into us.

Hey, asshole! That's not cool!

Throw me his ball.

So tell me everything. Details. I like details.

No.

What?

It's private.

You're kidding, right? Tell me what happened, you fucker, or I'll tie your dick in a knot.

Let's leave it alone.

You didn't get any, did you? You're a homo.

Just stop, okay? Make something up, and that's what happened. Whatever you want. Write my confession, and I'll sign it. Just stop pushing me all the time! I can't take it! You're an infant! This is all a big party for you, but not for me! This is serious. And you -- Just... leave me alone, okay? You're fucking me up.

Wow. Okay. Calm down. Sorry.

Tastes like the back of a fucking LA schoolbus. Probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine mouthwash bullshit. Fucking Raid.

I don't know. Tastes okay to me. Hey, they got a reserve pinot.

Let me use your phone.

What's up?

I can't take it anymore. I've got to call Evelyn.

Just write another one. You have lots of ideas, right?

No, I'm finished. I'm not a writer. I'm a middle-school English teacher. I'm going to spend the rest of my life grading essays and reading the works of others. It's okay. I like books. The world doesn't give a shit what I have to say. I'm unnecessary. I'm so insignificant, I can't even kill myself.

What's that supposed to mean?

You know -- Hemingway, Sexton, Woolf, Plath, Delmore Schwartz. You can't kill yourself before you've even been published.

What about that guy who wrote Confederacy of Dunces? He committed suicide before he got published, and look how famous he is.

Thanks.

Don't give up. You're going to make it.

Half my life is over, and I have nothing to show for it. I'm a thumbprint on the window of a skyscraper. I'm a smudge of excrement on a tissue surging out to sea with a million tons of raw sewage.

See? Right there. Just what you just said. That's beautiful. A thumbprint on a skyscraper. I couldn't write that.

Neither could I. I think it's Bukowski.

So how did Stephanie know it was Saturday? We didn't get into that with Gary.

Huh. Let me think.

You sure you didn't say anything to Maya?

Sure I'm sure. And just what are you implying? I'm really pissed off at you about all this, if you want to know the truth. What's Maya going to think of me now just for associating with you? You're the one who's sabotaging me, not the other way around, pal. Not by a longshot.

Fucking chick's married.

What?

Her husband works a night shift or something, and he comes home, and I'm on the floor with my cock in his wife's ass.

Jesus, Jack. Jesus. And you walked all the way back from Solvang?

Ran. Twisted my ankle too.

That's five clicks, Jackson.

Fucking-a it's five clicks! At one point I had to cut through an ostrich farm. Fuckers are mean.

We gotta go back.

What?

I left my wallet. My credit cards, cash, fucking ID, everything. We gotta go back.

Big deal. We'll call right now and cancel your cards.

You don't understand. The wedding bands. The wedding bands are in my wallet.

Okay, so they were in your wallet, and you left your wallet somewhere. Some bar. Christine'll understand.

No. She ordered them special. Took her forever to find them. They've got this design on them with dolphins and our names engraved in Sanskrit. We've got to go back. Christine'll fucking crucify me.

No way. No way.

Please, Miles, please.

Forget it. Your wallet was stolen at a bar. Happens every day.

She tell you she was married?

Yeah.

So what the fuck were you thinking?

Wasn't supposed to be back till six. Fucker rolls in at five.

Cutting it a little close, don't you think? So how was she? Compared to Stephanie, say.

Horny as shit. Flopping around like a landed trout.

Want me to drive?

No, I'm okay.

Hey, why don't you invite Maya to the wedding?

Somehow I don't think inviting Maya to your wedding is the right move. In fact, after your bullshit, it's going to be hard for me to even go to the Hitching Post again.

You're so negative.

What the fuck!

You said it looked like a car accident.

What the fuck!

I'll pay for it.

Victoria! How the hell are you?

Fine. What's, uh, what's on your mind?