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not a bit it was only a common black thorn well sir we made a fishing rod and tried our luck in the not very promising stream and you caught nothing i suppose we caught no fish returned promptly ah i suppose not well i hope you feel better for the tramp yes but i am tired she said then i will say good bye said holding out his hand to her won t you stop and have some dinner with us put in the major the other man s wife spite of the barrier which lay between them in spite of her broken nerves her changed looks her wretched life he loved her still just as he had done years and years ago she felt now that she was strong and brave that she could go through with any trials or troubles that might be coming to her secure in the blessed knowledge that there was one to whom she would always be young and fresh and lovely one of whose life she would always be the sun of whose dark days she would be the shining star which would never set for him on earth she felt that she did not even mind now those qualities of her husband which had on her every hour of the day which had gone nigh to breaking her heart she pushed back the loose sleeve from the arm which major had bruised the previous night and looked tenderly at the blue and livid mark i don t mind it now she whispered and then she pressed her lips where his had been in the first horror of his discovery of it a servant came to say that dinner was awaiting her and she rose and went to the little tiny feeling as if she were going to sit in a palace what an love is the room was so small that it but just held the table and four chairs there was no pretence at any other furniture but to that night it was like a great hall and the simple dinner a feast for jack loved her jack loved her and the very air seemed alive with the wonderful fact i some critic will take occasion to preach between eight a little sermon on this text and explain to my readers and to me for my future guidance that it was exceedingly wrong for a married woman to have any such feeling for a man who was not her husband well i have not said anywhere to the best of my remembrance that it was right i have not held up my dear little heroine as a pattern of goodness at all i only say that the events which came into her life did happen and my readers must take the history of them exactly for what they are worth it seems to me such a mistake that those who have a story to tell should be urged to paint their in colours so delicate and so that they have no resemblance to the human women whom we meet out in the world in every day life of course a woman of reputation is a beautiful thing and a woman of life is more beautiful still yet in the measure of blame or praise to those who have or kept themselves from the world i do think the circumstances of the case ought to be taken a little into consideration but the critic seldom if ever takes anything into consideration he seems to tar a whole sex with the same brush a woman must either be good or bad black or white i should really like to know how it would be possible to please these exceedingly people for instance if i draw a soldier as a good looking well animal honest and agreeable if not the other man s wife very bright of wit then i am told by one critic after another that my soldiers are angels without wings and the whole story just too good to be true the next time i draw a man who a woman who has boldly stepped in between him and a married woman whom he loves then up rises a powerful critic on a great daily paper and on my sins and wickedness in thus holding up the whole of the british army to i do not say but i think that i did nothing of the kind that i certainly held up one evil man to the world and if that man happened to be a soldier and a thoroughly bad lot at the same time why that is his fault and not mine so the next time i want to draw a lover who is not a model of all the virtues i make him quite a harmless character his only sin being that he suggests in a very hesitating way to the girl he loves that they shall dispense with the marriage ceremony i did not like doing this i would rather have married them oflf happily at first but i wanted to show what a good and brave girl who really loved the man with all her heart would do under such circumstances but how the critics howled over that story one a lady went so far as to write me a long letter telling me that she had been asked to select a few books for a young girl of eighteen to read on a long voyage she knew that the girl loved my stories but she resolutely put this one away because of the of a man suggesting to a girl that they between eight and should dispense with marriage owing to the fact that he knew his grandfather had left him all his property on his being unmarried at the time of his death i did not answer the letter what was the good but i have	30
said help the poor young girl of eighteen very many times since then for myself i have no admiration for the purity which is pure only because it has no opportunity to be anything else give me the gold that has been tried in the fire so i do not ask you to accept as my ideal of perfection i only ask you to take her for what she is a girl with good instincts and thus far a ruined life sl girl to whom that afternoon sitting in the sweet september sunshine beside the little brook there came the most cruel and the most sweet temptation that providence could permit or the ingenuity of devil devise i do not hold her up as doing right i she ought to have cut herself off from for ever she ought to have been insulted hurt angry well perhaps i do not know all i can say is that she was not all i know is that the mere knowledge of s love served to give her strength to go on living the life which up to that day had been almost intolerable to her the other man s wife chapter xiii i have no fear love can neither be bought nor sold its only price is when jack went away from the major s quarters that pleasant september evening under a pretence of writing letters before dinner time he had not the very smallest intention of doing anything of the kind but he wanted to be to think it all over with a help of a pipe so he went into his room and turned the key in the lock feeling fairly sure at that hour of the day of being left alone and then he began to think well to think that at last he had spoken out all that was in his mind and now knew that he loved her and would love her for all time he had not meant to tell her he had fully made up his mind never to let her know all that was raging in his heart but the sight of her dear little slender wrist blackened and bruised by the cruel grip of s drunken fingers had been too much for him and now that the truth was out he was not sorry for it sorry why he was glad glad he felt a sort of right in her now as if it was a dreadful mistake that she belonged to another man as if he only waited long enough and patiently enough it would all come right by and by by and by as yet he hardly knew whether he was disappointed at the turn of events or not of course he i have no fear loved her loved her with all his heart and soul and still he felt a wild triumphant joy that she had been good enough and strong enough to resist him and had refused to listen to his plan for the mistakes and misfortunes of her ufe i think it was somewhat remarkable that at this time jack only thought of the present and not of the future at all he never thought of the footing on which it was likely their friendship would be he only was filled with one thought she loves me she loves me he got up suddenly and went pipe in hand across the little room to the fireplace over which there hung the portraits of his nearest relations lady looked out from a neat oak frame and his father s handsome eyes seemed to see into his inmost soul jack stood and looked at them for a long time i wonder what you would say to all this he said aloud at last you knew my dear little girl darling bishop she used to call you i wonder what you d say if you were here now and i could go and tell you all about it how i wish i could how i wish i could i know what you d say though patience my lad patience wouldn t that be about it somehow i feel as if i wanted to tell somebody or other about it and i ve got nobody nobody will only and at me for a fool and an idiot will get a wrong impression of my dear little love so what the other mail s wife can i do i must just come and tell you when i can t keep quiet any longer he was still standing there when his man came to dress him for dinner he looked at his watch as he took it off it s ever so late he said i shall have to hurry up and hurry he did and even then was but barely in time for mess but as he slipped into the room at the tail of the file of men just passing from to mess room he noticed a good way on ahead of him major there were several guests that evening and happened to find himself nearly opposite to the major who refreshed by his long sleep during the afternoon was in his best form that night now major s best form was simply enough at any time to make jack very ill and that evening after an afternoon so tragic he was less inclined than usual to take or seem to take any interest in the stale jokes and with which major loved to the officers of the when he dined at mess therefore as soon as they left the table for the room he slipped out into the quiet night air and walked across to the major s quarters and as he passed through the gate of the mess hut he saw or thought he saw a familiar figure turn	30
and quickly away by jove ive seen that woman the walk height carriage everything who is she what s she doing here i wonder j have no fear already he was giving chase but the stranger was quick and light of foot she sped along drawing her long dark cloak closely around her as she went her way was past s quarters and as jack reached the where the ivy and the were growing he saw in her loose pale gown with a white shawl about her shoulders leaning over the rail why jack she said in surprise he stopped short did you see that woman he asked why yes did you see her face would you know her again i was just following her up but jack surely you recognised her that was the dark woman who followed us in the high street one day and then into the old china shop don t you remember of course he gasped of course and who is she how should i know she is jack i she stood looking at him for a moment her face pale in the brilliant moon light her eyes scared and full of trouble what is she doing here she asked scarce above a whisper i don t know but i imagine she is following the major up for some reason or other him about do you mean yes the other man s wife oh jack jack she cried i do see such trouble a head i ve been thinking thinking tonight and i see nothing but trouble to come look which way i will was ever such a husband and wife i feel half mad already but he said tenderly you are happier than you were this morning darling i know it and surely that is something why should you worry yourself about this woman her business whatever it is is not with you you can do nothing to help your husband and if you could he does not deserve that you should and probably would not wish it either you must leave him to manage such a piece of business by himself yes i suppose so she replied she rested her hand wearily on top of the and laid one of his large firm hands over her little cold one dear he said in a very low voice i m so glad we went that walk to day yes she answered under her breath but i can see nothing but trouble to come nothing but trouble you are shivering you had better go in my dear little love you must take care of yourself now for my sake he held her hand in a close pressure for an instant and watched her till she was safely within doors then he walked back across the bit of open ground to the mess hut not that he stayed there long in fact he did little more than look in to see that major was excited and apparently i have no fear enjoying himself very much and then he went off to his own quarters and got into bed thankful that the fellows were all too much occupied with their own business to trouble themselves for one evening about his about an hour later major went home the light was still burning in the little and he found sitting there making a pretence of reading aren t you gone to bed yet he remarked not yet laying down her paper and looking at him with her grave gray eyes i stayed up because i wanted to ask you something all right he took out his case and selected a go on he said as he struck a match she said and she sat forward in her chair looking at him earnestly who is and what is or was she to you he flung the match and into the fireplace and sprang to his feet what the devil do you mean he cried roughly i mean nothing i asked you a question that was all she answered it was the first time in her life that she had seen him in a towering rage without being afraid of him at that moment however although his eyes were blazing and his face all a flame she knew absolutely no fear whatever who is she she asked again in her anxiety rising and going towards him the other man s wife he turned upon her in a fury how dare you ask me that he cried catching hold of her by the arm you are me she cried you i feel like killing you he thundered what have you got in your head what are you trying to find out answer me instantly or i shall do something desperate in spite of the merciless grip on her arm still was not in fear for one thing she knew that he had been drinking and was not in his right mind for another she knew that what she had to tell him would probably bring him down to the practical side of the question without the delay of a moment want to find out nothing she said looking at him steadily did i try to find out who gave you that not i i don t care you are a free agent so far as i am concerned i don t even take any interest in your doings but i am your wife and i live with you and when i see a great danger or a great annoyance coming upon you am i not to tell you of it last year i was afraid of you but i am not afraid of you now i hall never be afraid of you again not even when you are	30
drunk he stood staring at her in amazement that some new element had come into her life and in his surprise he his grip upon her arm until she could have shrieked in the agony of her pain what do you mean he asked but he spoke in a tone than before and his eyes were filled with a new fear i have no fear that woman has been round here this evening said what woman the woman whose card you had the other day he started violently and let her arm go free she has been here he cried not in this house no but she has been watching your movements outside the mess hut for jack caught her and how did he know who she was suspiciously people are not all blind most of us see more of other folk s business than is always to them and we have seen a good deal lately and you have been talking me over with with that boy he demanded he was getting sober rapidly now not at all sit down and i will tell you everything that i know you know she went on when you went to town last you told my old friend jack to look after me and he did so oh of course well well we went down to the grounds one afternoon to hear the band and then i saw that woman first we noticed her because she was alone quite alone she is a handsome woman and not in the least common looking and we wondered that she should not know a soul not have a single man salute her when we went home she left the grounds also and she passed and us several the wife at last we went into a shop really that we might lose sight of her she followed us in there also and asked to see some that were in the window and we at last got rid of her well i have seen her about pretty often since then and to day it has come back to me that she passed up the high street that day we went to and the gray horse bolted i did not understand at the time why you cut at him with the whip i think i do now this afternoon i could not imagine why you should make such a fuss about a s card but to night t realized and so did jack that and the woman who has been round here to night are the same but about to night he asked anxiously to night i was feeling tired and lonely my head ached a little and i wrapped a shawl round me and went out for a few minutes among the flowers as i often do whilst i was there i saw that woman come quickly from the direction of the mess and pass along towards the gates followed by jack who had just come out of the mess he asked me if i saw her said he had surprised her watching through the windows and added at once that he had seen her somewhere and when i told him reminded him that is of the ground and the high street he said at once she is and he is right enough she is said the major gloomily and what is she to you what has she been i have no to you asked a certain stern dignity in her tones nothing absolutely nothing he answered i swear to you that never was anything but my deadly enemy and never will be but how why i can t tell you all that now i will some day not to night i m too knocked over and all to pieces and what does she hope to gain by you down in this way i haven t an idea why don t you see her and have it out with her i d rather face the devil in person he answered promptly i you would you re a dreadful coward at the best of times a coward i he cried blazing up again i spoke quite plainly did i not she asked and you know that it is true or it would not put you into a passion as it has done would any man with the strength of a as you have put out your great strength against such a thing as i have come to be g ood heavens holding out her little of a hand against his great red one look at your hand and mine and look at those too she dragged her sleeve back and showed him where the soft white flesh was bruised and blackened did i do that he asked in genuine surprise you did the other wife upon my word i m awfully sorry he said after a moment s silence you see i ve been so beside myself the last few weeks i ve hardly known what i was doing and i ve drunk more than was good for me but i d no idea i d been such a brute as that and i m sorry you know i never laid a finger on you except when i was half drunk come make friends with me old woman give me a kiss she held out her hand to him and permitted him just to touch the edge of her cheek major however caught her in his arms and held her close no give me a real kiss he cried but put her head back and looked at him with such cold contempt in her lovely eyes that his arms relaxed their hold and he set her free the next moment however he tried to laugh the	30
awkwardness of the situation away h well if it s like that he said with a would be air it s no use asking you for it all the same i m very much in your debt and the of your wit is chapter xiv waiting if thy hand be in the lion s mouth get it out as fast as thou i think if major had been younger or if had been older that circumstances at this time would have drawn them closer together than they had ever been before in all their lives but the major had had a fair chance of winning his wife s love aud had in his carelessness and violence lost it for ever truth to tell his admiration for her had never been so great as when she held herself back from the clasp of his arms and by a single look indicated that she did not mean to kiss him ton my soul he said to himself when she had gone to bed and he was smoking his last my soul there s more far more in the little woman than i thought and by jove how she rounded on me what a little spit fire she looked and how pretty as for oh the door opened again and came in major looked aside what is it he asked i left my purse here that was all she answered she crossed to the fire place and took her purse from the chimney shelf he said holding out his hand i say little woman i m real sorry i hurt your poor little wrist you ll forgive me won t you oh yes pray don t say anything more about it but i can t help saying something about it because oh hang it all i feel such a brute such a brute poor dear little wrist and then he caught her hand in his and kissed the ugly black just where s lips had touched it a few hours before she her hand away with an exclamation the other man s wife of what annoyance pain anger disgust he did not know what have i done he asked you hurt me she answered is it so bad as that yes but please don t speak of it again it was bad enough at the time but i knew that you did not mean to do it i don t want to think about it any more and she turned away and was gone out of the room before he could speak again by jove how pretty she is he said to himself a sight prettier than ever she was in all her life before i always did like a bit of spirit in a woman always and by jove but it s good of her not to let it stand between us and to say she didn t want to hear or think any more about it if he had only known how much more a barrier had risen up between them how s bright face was in his wife s heart how had taken the white neglected flower of his life and had re planted it in the soil of love and devotion well it was as well that he did not for probably he would have fallen in love with his wife afresh and as it was this unwonted tenderness was but a flash in the pan there was nothing lasting or real about it well three days after this major sent in his papers he came home one afternoon about five o clock and announced the news with the disregard of his wife s feelings which generally his behaviour waiting he said ive sent in my papers she cried yes i know you wanted to go on and i wanted to command a but i can t bear being down any longer that woman is driving me out of my senses and my senses as you very well know never were much at the best of times but could nothing be done why don t you see her and see if she would hear reason and leave you in peace no ten years ago i might have done but i m sick of i d rather be free now and you will go abroad abroad doubtfully abroad oh do you care much about that no i hate the very idea of it but oh are you quite decided on leaving the service oh quite and i m sick of it but where shall we live her lips when shall i see jack her heart said there s no place like london i i ve thought a good bit about it and i think a would be best a nice convenient flat where you would be quite safe if i wanted to go shooting for a day or two and where we could make sure of not being at home when we wanted to shake certain people what d you think a year before s heart would have gone down to at such a prospect now however it struck her as likely to be a very happy arrangement the other man s wife you ll keep judge she said abruptly judge oh would you i shall have to buy him off if i do you will never get another man who understands your ways as he does she said with conviction perhaps not well i ll think about it by the bye are you going out no it is my day she answered she had stayed in doors on one day in the week ever since they had been in ah yes so it is well i have	30
at least not on foot cried i don t believe he has once been outside the gates on foot since the day we all went to at this moment a loud knock at the front door through the hut visitors said with a resigned air and his place on the for an easy chair at a little distance the door of the room was open and they could hear distinctly every word uttered by the visitor and the soldier servant major is he at home the visitor said it was a lady s voice he is not returned judge you are sure quite sure the major went out in the dog cart an hour and a half ago mrs is she in i m not mighty sure what name never mind what name the s voice replied i know she is in for i saw her just now show me the way go bolt in to your bedroom whispered it is as quick as thought fled through the doorway which led in to her bedroom leaving him alone to face the visitor who entered the following moment judge cast a glance round the room got up from his chair i m afraid i can t wait any longer for your mistress judge he said looking at his watch very good sir you ll tell her that i came i will sir then turning to the strange visitor he said mrs is not at home i will until major returns answered the lady went out judge followed keep your eye on the silver judge said jack and don t let her know that mrs is in the house very good sir answered judge with twenty minutes later the major and captain drove in at the big gates major said stopping the trap by a a lady is waiting to see you at your quarters my god muttered the it s the other man s wife chapter xv baffled of all the numerous ills that hurt our peace that press the soul or the mind with anguish beyond comparison the worst are those which to our folly or our guilt we owe said the i want to get down here do you mind driving the cart round for me not a bit sir answered promptly so the major got down and the other took the reins and drove off major turned eagerly to who was waiting with an face to hear what would come next who is it anyone you know the major asked no sir i have never spoken to the lady the other answered then added i know her by sight she is not an english woman and she is it he gasped out yes sir i believe it is answered he felt an unutterable and merciless contempt for his superior nor did he believe for a moment that this neither was nor ever had been anything to him for s own sake be sure that jack would not have lifted a finger to stop the most scandalous scene in the world he had acted as he had done entirely for for wholly and solely because she always shrank h horror from the very idea of a i scandal and a scene and because he felt that with her a prisoner in her bedroom as she was the situation was one which might become a one at any moment and i was sitting with her sir when the the lady came and i whispered to her to get into her bedroom and lock the door i believe she is there yet and that woman in the drawing room the major cried i left her there returned in a hard wooden voice then she must be got away she must be turned out of the camp major exclaimed hadn t you better see her sir and get it over not for the world she may want nothing very important a mere trifle urged more likely she s got an infernal machine or a bottle of to throw in my face retorted the other sharply however i ll go round and give orders myself he strode away leaving standing looking after him then he suddenly himself that he would like to see the end of it all and forthwith set off in the direction of the major s quarters as quickly as was possible without breaking into a run major had disappeared by the time that got within sight of his quarters so that he the other man s wife did not hear the between the strange and the soldier servant judge that stolid person after having received his orders from his master went quietly into the tiny and thus addressed himself to the lady if you please major bids me say that he is not able to see you to day i will wait said the lady without moving major will not be home to night judge added no matter wait till he does come your pardon but you can t wait here said judge with delightful civility oh yes i shall begging your pardon but i ve got my orders and i can t let you wait here he repeated indeed and how can you prevent it i have but to step up to the guard room to have a file of men down here in two minutes answered judge with great and though i d be sorry to treat a lady with any ive got my orders and i ve got to carry them out thus the lady very reluctantly rose from her seat on s favourite well she said i have heard a great deal about the chivalry of your english soldiers and when i come to visit an english officer i am turned out of his house but it was only wasting breath to talk	30
about chivalry to a stolid block of a soldier servant who had got his orders and would carry them out at any cost did not realize that baffled i though judge would have promptly knocked down and almost to a any man that he saw ill using a woman yet he had no whatever in her case of conveying his master s message to her in all its plain truth and she went out of the hut therefore without further and from a distance saw her go off in the direction of the town beaten again she muttered as she passed the great gates i suppose that s why he chooses to live in that miserable little wooden cabin he knows he can always escape in among his great brutes of soldiers i never thought i could be baffled by a great fool like when the stranger had fairly gone major sent judge across to mr s quarters to ask him to come over before he went to mess and when he was dressed did so and found the major alone in the little drawing room my dear fellow said the major with boisterous i can t thank you enough for having spared me from walking in unawares on that woman this afternoon i m awfully obliged to you don t speak of it sir said jack a little stiffly i wished to save mrs any annoyance that was all then she shall thank you herself stay there s one thing i want to say i know what you must think of this mysterious lady who is paying me such attention just now the man s wife i have no right to think about it at all sir put in jack but i wish you to do so rejoined the major because you could from a surface knowledge only have one opinion on the subject but i give you my word of honour that she was never anything but a bitter enemy to me never she does seem bitter enough said jack and yet in a very scornful tone by jove yes said the major and my word if she follows me up and makes my life i burden to me in london as she has done here i shall have to buy a as the only safe way of getting rid of her then he went to the door of the bedroom and called i want you a minute yes she answered and came out flushing with surprise when she saw there tells me he only came to the gates and warned me that he might save you annoyance so perhaps you will thank him for yourself mrs went with outstretched hands to jack you were very good she said earnestly thank you so much so much she knew as well what his eyes meant as if he had spoken in plain words his looks said this man is not true to you and he ill uses you you carry the marks of his violence on your body at this moment why do you not set yourself free from him you have the power why do you not use it she cast a piteous look back at him as if baffled to say do not put such an idea into mind don t tempt me said the major at that moment you re a good sort never forget the good turn you ve done me to day remember whether it s a at or a you ll always be welcome in it isn t that so always said faintly and in that one word s short lived hopes of happiness in the hear future died for somehow in those few moments he realized that would never willingly go in for a divorce against her husband it was a temptation to her just as his first proposal that they should go away together had been but she had been brought up with a horror of anything approaching to a public scandal and even in the face of overwhelming temptation the shrinking from the very fact of divorce clung to her still so in the language of a look he gathered that in spite of her love dragging always at her heart strings she would unless major became more violent and his more apparent carry the burden of her sorrow to the very end after this the were soon gone and their place in the knew them no more there was a sale of the furniture and of their hut which as it was really the one to the commanding officer was an unusually good one and then as the colonel was still living outside the next senior married officer came into possession of it this happened to be captain the wife and mrs was very over the change i don t like to say much mr she remarked on the day that her things were removed mrs was a great friend of yours but until you have had to put yourself and your wife to say nothing of two babies into a box with four you will never be able to realize the luxury and comfort of having six rooms all a trifle larger than those you have left and you u come and help me to get settled won t you what could say well exactly what he did that he would be delighted and all the rest and every day for a whole week he gave all his spare time to making himself useful and little mrs s quarters up pictures and and and pots in the sweet little room which was to him by the memory of his dear love s presence well well the best days in life come to an end sooner or later and perhaps it was as well for him that the commanding officer s	30
quarters in had come under the rule of a new mistress chapter the s w the world is a net the more ve stir in it the more we entangled there is in that part of london which writes s w on its letters and is considered a distinctly fashionable locality a huge pile of buildings which is the s w known as the it is something more than a mere building in which you may find of rooms each self contained with its own front door and which you may make as much your castle as the most english englishman could wish for at the they take you in and beyond paying a certain sum of money you have no more trouble than you had when you were a child in your father s house you can live there without a care as to your cook or your house maid your sweep or your they take you in in fact and do for you to perfection in every way if you are a very person you may make many acquaintances among the three or four hundred people who live under the same roof with you or you may live there for years and never speak to a single soul from year s end to year s end you can give a dinner of forty people with as little trouble as you can ask one man to come in on wednesday and dine quietly with you at eight o clock you can go away for six months or a year and you needn t trouble to put anything under lock and key the management does all that for you or you may let your and have a few guineas a week to help to pay your expenses while you are visiting among friends and relations or you mind by foreign travel then you need not trouble yourself to keep horses and carriages unless you like the management will provide you with anything of that kind that you may happen to require and you have but the other man s to order the open or the close carriage as you may think most fit well it is a charming arrangement and were i a free agent in such matters which i need hardly say i am not that portion of mankind which the doubtful privilege of my acquaintance would before many weeks have gone over my head see me comfortably established on the second or third floor of the the i can imagine no life so easy no household so pleasant to manage or with so few domestic to fret one s soul weu the after being in rooms in street for several weeks all at once them of the and determined to go and see whether there were any of rooms to be let if you remember said the major as they drove was there for six months at least she by the place said she never locked a thing up or even bolted her door at night i believe it would be the very place however when they got there they did not find a single large sized of rooms vacant there were two very small ones each with a good a good bedroom a small maid s room kitchen and bath room in reality only intended for one person over these mrs shook her head we must have more room than that she said decidedly would you like to take a furnished for six months asked the young man manager clerk or whatever he who took them round the s w then you could secure any other that fell vacant h we should not mind that but is this a good size eight good rooms madam he replied and eventually they decided on taking these rooms which were very well arranged and remarkably well furnished for a period of six months and agreed to take possession during the same week and you have none larger asked not larger we have two small no stay one small to let until next the young man replied i see ah well i think this one will do very well for the time at all events it seemed to when they had got fairly settled that at last they had found peace major simply in the new life the was close to his club not far from the theatres or the park was quiet and pleasant to live in and he was free from the dreadful fear which had almost driven him mad at and when they had been there a few weeks came up for his long leave and then the major began to enjoy life a little oh yes i speak i meant the major not the major s wife at the time of their leaving he had been smitten with much for his treatment of and i must do him the justice to say that as far as was in his power he did his best to show that he was ashamed of the the man s wife he had played and he did everything thai he do to matters but as i said before his interest in her was not real it was but a flash in the pan and on her side did nothing to keep it alight he bored her and she bored him and although for a few weeks he was most and devoted and took her from shop to shop and from theatre to theatre yet when made his appearance one day early in november announcing the news that he had come up for his long leave major was so glad to see him that his welcome was of the most e kind my dear boy where are you staying fm awfully glad to see you he cried going on with out waiting for an answer	30
will be delighted and you ll be able to take her about a little it will be a change for her oh i shall be charmed to make myself useful to mrs said in his most conventional tone yes yes you were always friends weren t you ah she ll be delighted you must come and dine to night eh and we might do a theatre what d you think with pleasure returned jack who would cheerfully have assisted at an irish wake had he known that would be of the party likewise we don t know many people in london you see major went on i ve been so many years and i never was much of a society the s w man at any time of my life by the where did you say you were staying in st james s street replied ah well near enough near enough are you going to stop a little now yes if mrs is at home and and has no objection then i shall go round to the club a little i know will be here in a minute she was dress ing or something and said she d be here directly so you ll be all right won t you oh yes don t stop for me major pray rejoined he in truth was as glad to see the major go as the major was to feel that he could go off for an hour without feeling that he was like a brute to a poor little neglected wife so when came in she found awaiting her alone why where is she exclaimed looking round he said he was coming to you he did but he has gone off to the club and he has asked me to dine and do a theatre with you to night my darling say that you are glad to see me you know that i am glad she said with gentle reproach i ought not to be so glad i know it and yet you are yes i am smiling at him and you are well tolerably happy the other wife yes i am much better here than i was at i think that hut was very trying although i was fond of it tell me who has it now mrs mrs then the new major is not married he is not mrs was wildly to get it said smiling at the remembrance of his own disgust that anyone could be thoroughly glad that was gone away why are you smiling jack she asked suddenly because i am very happy just now and a small thing makes a happy man smile for another i was smiling at the recollection of my disgust that the little woman was so glad to have the hut and tell me dear you have been all right that woman hasn t found you out yet no you know there is no place like london it is so easy to lose in it tell me was she there long after we left some little time but you see she couldn t get into camp much to learn facts for herself and mrs had all the blinds and everything up a couple of days after you left so that the place didn t look very i met her twice in the high street and i saw her several times suspiciously near to our lines but after a few days she disappeared and i haven t seen her since i wonder if she will give it up as a hopeless the s w case said you see we sh ill be very to trace out here we have taken this flat for six months the name of the regular tenant is on the board downstairs and we told the hall porter not to put our name on so even if she gets a notion of going all round london searching every block of she may come here and be no wiser however i hope now that she will give it up for now that she is not on the scene is quite a different man no more asked taking her band no more k h i told you at the time he did not mean to do anything like that he is rough and boisterous and he takes a great deal more than is good for him and and there are other things but he is not all bad and sometimes he is as nice as nice can be as nice as i am half you are foolish jack very foolish she said drawing her hand away you know the answer to that question so i shall not tell it to you then why should you take your hand away because it is better for you that i should it is better it is better for me in every way that you should leave your hand always in mine oh i i know e what you would say but i am right i know i am right perhaps but i don t think so she answered but don t let us waste our time quarrelling over trifles tell me how much leave have you the han s w my long leave two months and what are you going to do where are you going i am going to stay in town in town of course where else should i go but i thought you would have hosts of invitations that you would be shooting and hunting and doing a round of country houses thousand thanks all the same fm going to stay in town oh had invitations plenty of them but i don t know a greater bore than country house visiting besides i ve done it for five years now	30
african forest to do duty as a blind without a moment s hesitation or poor had been his best friend once truly the ways of friendship are wonderful well in due time returned and the little dinner of three passed oflf quite as merrily ad anyone could expect under the circumstances and he l they went oflf to the where sat between the two men in the and cried over the sorrows of captain swift until her face was all and her eyes sore with the sad salt where the major went out between each act and missed one altogether and sat still and quietly resisted all temptations to go and see how cool it the times of peace was outside or have a and after all this tragedy and when all was over and they were passing out towards the hall major turned back to and said you take care of and ril find the carriage never noticing that he had actually brushed up against who was just in the act of putting a black lace over her head she started violently and pulled the almost entirely over her face so as to hide it from and who were left standing together do you ever go out to supper after the theatre he asked if you do will you both and have supper with me somewhere no cannot bear these public he never lets me go to them answered thanks all the same but you will go back with ns we have a very good supper room at the here s the carriage shouted the major from the doorway the echoed i have found him out at last chapter xvii the times of peace tell not all you know and judge not all you see if you would live in peace what happened to after and jack passed out of the of the theatre into the dark night i cannot the other wife say but certain it is that she did not immediately make it her business to call upon major in his retreat at the s w time went on days wore away and the still believed that they were safe from the shadow which had pursued them so at and at this time they all got on in a wonderfully pleasant way major was but little at the he went a great deal to his club and he spent a great deal of his time in the company of dear old who had never yet managed to pay his respects to his old s wife stay though he had gone in twice to the when was out and major had made a good deal of the circumstance it s so very odd you know he said after the second call which had made that old should be so anxious to know you and should miss you twice running it s very odd why don t you ask him to dinner said innocently you d make sure of his meeting me then by jove yes it s a good idea cried the major i ll ask him to morrow eh and then we can go four to a theatre yes answered fm sure that will be far the best but did not accept the invitation naturally he hardly could poor fellow having been out of the way of dinner parties for many a long year major gave his excuses to thb times of ce and added the information that old s such a desperately shy chap i dare say he it did not however think very much of the circumstance for not having seen he held no place in her mind she quite accepted the major s excuse as being a not unnatural one and thought no more of it in truth her life was at this time a very well occupied one and she was as happy as it was possible for her to be unless she had been jack s wife as it was she was his greatest friend and he hers she saw him every day and sometimes several in the day it had come to be an understood thing that where she went he would go also and major so far from it regarded the arrange ment in the light of a totally blessing which would permit him to come and go accordingly as his own sweet will dictated and very soon began to make friends and to have quite a nice little circle of acquaintances she got to know several people living in the or they got to know her whichever you like and through them she got to know some very pleasant people in the world outside the which lived under the same roof tree and there were some very charming people living in the at that time there was a mrs a widow getting into years who wore her pretty white hair dressed high over a cushion and looked like an old of the and there was mrs west the most brilliant of modern times with the c the han s pen and the keenest wit and the and sweetest manners in all london town and there was l the man who did everything and did it well who wrote plays and poems and books and songs who painted pictures and composed and was in a word the admirable the day well in the rooms of such people as these naturally met all the world and his wife and although many passed her by as being neither exactly a bee or a butterfly still a good many pleasant people intimated to her that they would like to know her better among others was a mrs a widow of ample means and a large capacity for thoroughly enjoying all kinds of society a woman who was never so happy as when she	30
was arranging for a party in her own house or going to one in somebody else s and mrs took an equal fancy to do you know she said to her the second time she met her it is not often i really take to new i am not a woman who goes to an evening party with her card case in her hand and her visiting cards about like a round game i always take fright at those people always but sometimes i take and i should greatly like to know you better won t you come and see me i should like it very much said feeling greatly pleased and a little flattered for she had heard of mrs as one of the most in london the of peace then come and see me the day after to morrow in the afternoon said mrs i shall have a little good music not the sort of thing you generally hear bnt who plays the and madame de who needs no explanation won t you introduce your husband to me with a glance at who was standing close by blushed a little that is not my husband mrs but a great of ours he and my husband were in the same regiment and i have known him since i was a little child jack let me you to mrs moved towards them and bowed profoundly to mrs who looked on him with kindly eyes as most women did and told him that she had been begging mrs to come and see her and that she hoped he would also but i hope your husband will come too she went on to without giving opportunity to do more than bow bis acknowledgment of her invitation does he go about much oh yes but not much in the afternoon answered but he is not an invalid mrs asked oh dear oh no is anything bat an invalid is he not she answered appealing to oh very so he replied promptly at i mean that he is very much anything bnt an invalid the other man s wife mrs gave a sigh of relief ah that is a great comfort in society now a days one has to be so very in even mentioning absent husbands or wives i always feel my way most carefully and yet yet i made a mistake with you just now didn t i a slight mistake again mrs laughed ah people one meets about are very odd i some of my acquaintances think me as odd as i think other people sometimes still it is a little trying when you send a woman an invitation and you either leave out her husband when they live together and everything is all right between them or you put him in and find that she is a widow or that her husband and she haven t spoken for over seven years i think people to be to wear a little m for married and all right w for widow s for separated couples i am sure it would be far less and far less awkward than it is now i suppose it would said but as yet i have hardly begun to ask anyone still i hope you will come although i have no crowd of clever people to attract you i shall come to see you said mrs kindly by the bye what part of the world do you live in in the replied oh really ah that is very nice i live in queen anne s grate i like to have my friends the times of peace within reasonable distance and upon my word i know so many people in the that i could spend a whole day going from one floor to another won t you come and pay me a little visit now asked i should like it immensely mrs replied are you up or down oh down we are quite in the of society cried laughing yes i suppose the top people do pride themselves on it mrs said then looked at the watch on her wrist a quarter past six well if you want me to come in for ten minutes will you take me now of course i will replied so they then went down to the next floor where the lived not however without interruption for a lady just entering the room was an acquaintance of mrs s and stopped to speak to her ah madame she said how late you are i am just running away how sorry i am replied the lady i have been elsewhere this afternoon town is quite busy is it not oh quite so are you coming to me on thursday yes ah that is right by the by let me introduce you to my friend mrs mrs madame the two ladies exchanged greetings and then mrs the other an s wife declared that she most go she was late good bye then said madame smiling good bye madame to i hope we shall meet again many thanks i hope so answered how exactly alike foreigners are remarked mrs as they reached the door of the flat so and all that don t you know what is a or a pole asked a pole i asked her if she was a the other day and she shuddered mrs replied i m sure i can t tell why they should make such a fuss about the distinction really you know there is very little difference between them but the little is all the world to them cried judge get us some tea at once please yes answered judge well i never can understand why there need be so much	30
feeling in a slight difference mrs declared for instance how any woman can be foolish enough to give up what some women give up for the sake of a man is beyond me to find out i know a woman now she went on who is or has been exceedingly handsome but she is nearly forty years old and as delicate as is possible for a woman to be and live she had a husband who worshipped her worshipped her too well had the times of peace a fine house horses carriages and diamonds well they were worth calling diamonds i can tell you she had a child and she has thrown away all all for a youth fifteen years younger than herself oh what a fool what a fool was the first of the two to recover himself yes that woman was a fool an awful fool he said and the man was a oh va dire cried mrs lightly mrs was fond of a little french now and again well well i don t know that it is interesting or particularly to discuss these silly people what pretty rooms you have here they are not actually ours explained with a sigh of relief at the subject being thus changed we did not find a large vacant except this which was to be let furnished for a few months but we like living here so much that we shall secure the first good sized that falls vacant yes i see that lady madame she lives here also but i fancy she has her own rooms here she seems a very nice creature she had a letter of introduction to me from a dear friend of mine in and how pretty she is remarked yes she is not perhaps pretty as so and so distinguished in manner and all that pretty white hair that is what makes you call her pretty thb s perhaps i thought it lovely yes and i also just then judge came in with the tea is the major at home judge mrs asked he has just come in judge replied ask him to come here please i will accordingly two minutes later major came in with his best manner to be introduced to mrs and mrs was so charmed by him that she whispered to my dear child what a mistake of mine do you know i had an idea somehow that your husband was ninety ninety as it is he is quite charming quite charming i am very glad you think so said wondering whether mrs would think quite charming if she was married to him oh i do i am so glad to have seen him major your wife has faithfully promised to come over on thursday afternoon now i hope you will come too i ll do my best said the major in his most manner that s not half a bad sort of woman he remarked when mrs had fairly gone but quite the style of woman to take you in and do for you from the cradle to the grave if could help it he never laughed at a joke of major s that one however so exactly described the lady who had taken possession the times op of that he could not help going into a heart fit of ah you may laugh yon may laugh as much as jou like cried the major and by the bye young man there s s letter for you at the club marked most important i wanted to bring it round to you having a glimpse of it in the hall porter s hand but though i told him you would certainly be here he didn t see it hadn t yoa better go round and get it oh it s safe enough there said easily still jou had better it may be from the regiment or shall i send judge round not a bit of it major i wouldn t trouble you for the world til go round presently and see what it is a money wants to lend me money i ve no doubt he finished his tea and asked for another ate two bits of and presently sauntered off to go to the club to find the important letter major tells me you have an important letter for me he said to the hall porter you might quite safely have given it to him it s as much as my place is worth sir to give up a letter to anyone but the owner the man replied it t do sir it wouldn t indeed i dare say not thanks and moved on turning into the smoking room where he pulled an easy chair near to the fire and settled himself the s comfortably therein before he broke the seal which the envelope now let us see what it s all about he said to himself chapter xviii hard lines nothing to do in this world of ours i where weeds spring up with the fairest flowers i where smiles have only a fitful play i and hearts are breaking every day i for a few minutes after jack had read that letter he sat quite still trying to take in the sense thereof in plain words it ran thus but just at first they seemed to convey no meaning to him we regret exceedingly that we have to inform you of the of our honoured lord which occurred last evening between ten and eleven o clock since the death last month without issue of lord s only brother the hon his had spoken to us of communicating with you as he believed that you were the son of the late bishop of who failing issue of the hon was next heir to the title of	30
our late never having married his was however in very bad health and at all times of a nervous and retiring disposition and the definite orders to communicate with you were never given the other man s wife as white as chalk are you ill i hope you haven t bad news in that letter jack looked at the letter and then at the news he replied yes and it s knocked me over completely not money losses i hope old chap said the other holding out a sympathetic hand to him no i suppose not you can read it i feel as if i didn t know whether i was standing on my head or my heels i wish one of you fellows would order me a brandy and there was a bell on the table and a man near to it struck it immediately bring mr a brandy and he said meantime man who was reading the letter george read to the end with many an exclamation of surprise he jumped up and shook jack s hand heartily my dear or i must call you soon now i congratulate you with all my heart i had no idea there was any probability of anything of that kind happening nor i i never thought about it said jack rather wistfully i knew that i had some relations but oh well i can t talk about it just now i feel dazed and half off my head ah thanks as the waiter brought him the refreshing there i begin to feel more like myself than i did thanks old chap thanks he tore himself away from them all with the excuse that he must wire off a reply to the lawyers hard lines at once and he went into the library and filled in a telegraph form yes i am the only son of edward bishop of i will come to morrow as early as possible carry out all the late lord s wishes to the letter john th then when he had sent this off he walked out of the club and back to the he found wearing a loose white gown and alone well she said looking up where is the major he s going out to dinner he s dressing now why do you know what has happened to me no how should i know i am lord he was so excited so utterly upset that he the news out without any idea of what its effect might be upon her you are lord what do you mean she cried i don t mean anything oh if we had only known if your mother had only known she would have let you marry as yoa liked but it s too late now too late to be any good his face was quivering although i do not mean to imply that he was near to tears however dropped back into her chair with a white face the other man s wife and in every limb oh jack she cried in a piteous voice it is hard oh it is hard it was the first time that he had laid bare his heart to her since the day when he had told her that whenever she wanted him he would be ready to throw up all the world for her they had been the best and of friends he had been and tender with her but he had never her the wild passion of love which always raged within his heart at the sight of her sweet eyes or the touch of her soft fingers he gave her the letter to read i can t hold it still she said but she put it on her knee and read it through in silence and before she got to the end of it major came in so you re back well did you get your letter he asked yes i did major he tried to tell him what had happened but the words fairly stuck in his throat and he turned away to the window looked up and with an effort she gathered her strength and her wits together and spoke something very wonderful has happened to jack she said and she wondered that he d not notice how strained and agitated her voice was his uncle or cousin is dead and he is lord now lord repeated the major my dear chap i m very glad very glad indeed what a blessing your uncle or cousin whichever it was hard lines did not go and marry and have a lot of small children to cut you out as mine did and you re going down wherever it of course ye i m going to morrow morning jack replied ah vm sorry i can t stop and dine with you i would if i wasn t solemnly engaged elsewhere however the wife will give you some dinner fm sure you must want to talk it all over with somebody we could dine down here couldn t we asked upstairs in the dining room there is such a noise and and jack is not dressed oh yes have it here by all means well good bye old fellow see you again in a few days i he was gone before jack could answer shutting the door after him with a crash mrs rang the bell judge she said when that personage appeared and judge really was a personage in that small establishment aye and in the greater republic of the as well mr s going to dine with me and we will have it down here very good said judge i ll attend to it they were very quiet that evening and judge waited on them with an face as if it was quite a usual thing to come into titles and to dine with mr alone	30
while the major was dining elsewhere for of coarse mrs had the other wife told that mr was lord now and equally of judge s rose had told him and at last they were left really alone shall yon stay in the service do yon jack she asked no i shall get out of it as soon as i can he replied you ll have a very different time now of course you ll have lots of duties and new interests i wonder if you are the last of the name i don t know but i fancy so i know really very little about my people they cast off my grandfather and neither my nor i have ever held communication with them until now we ve been steadily ignored always so you see i know very little my father never spoke of his people to me excepting of his own father and mother my grandmother used to tell me long about the but i never listened it all went in at one ear and out at the other there was a long silence then spoke painfully and with a supreme effort jack she said gently you will have to marry never he burst out unless no no not that if you are the last you cannot let an old name die out and and it will be your duty her trembling lips could scarcely frame the last word but his jealous ears caught it then he cried met me tell you plainly from the beginning that if it be my duty a thousand times over i have lines not the very smallest intention of doing that particular duty not the very smallest good heavens what worse will the world be a hundred years hence if there is no lord if there is no family not the least bit worse probably the better if the general family stock is the sort that cuts its sons off for ever because they marry for the best of all reasons while if i marry a woman i or at best am indifferent to loving another man s wife with all my heart i shall make a thoroughly bad husband one couldn t make a good one you know if one felt like that well the world would be the worse for what i had done most distinctly the worse bat what sort of a wife must i make she asked in a pained tone you make a very good wife far better than your husband ever deserves to have besides you did not marry him with your eyes open knowing what you would feel it is different what is a cruel misfortune to you would be an sin in me a crime because i shouldn t have the smallest shadow of an excuse why if i married another woman now i should never be able to look her in the face no no for your sake because i believe in your goodness and your absolute purity i am willing aye and content to go on living as i am doing now your friend and nothing more but i am not content to think of marrying another woman for the sake of a family which has never done anything for me until it couldn t help itself the other man s it makes me furious to hear of my duty to my family i have no duty to the excepting to john of the i did not mean to suggest anything that would hurt you jack she said meekly you do believe that don t you he began to feel himself a positive brute to hen it would be well for me he said if i were half as good and half as sh as you are dear no you needn t shake your head like that do you think i have forgotten how years ago when we were the best of at you used to let me have the best of everything and always made me feel i was doing you a favour by taking it you are the same now as you were then i want to be the same she cried but oh jack i feel so so that sometimes i look back and wonder if i ever was that dear little happy child who ran about the gardens at the and the palace without a care in the wide world to me said he tenderly you are and will always be just that same child you will never grow old to me never well at last he declared that he must be going he had a lot of letters to write and he felt that he ought to run round to lord s late as it was and tell him the wonderful news so about half past nine he tore himself away and went with him to the head of the stairs for like most men he the use of the lift and as they reached the head of the stairs madame madame came up them and greeted the two in her elaborate foreign manner ah madame good evening mr i am charmed to see you but is anything the matter you look disturbed mr has had rather disturbing news said yes i hope not very bad news she said in a sympathetic voice no one in your family has died i trust well yes madame my second cousin lord is dead oh broke in the lady in a sad voice but i have never seen him continued oh in a tone of comprehension but the news has disturbed you of course well yes and i must be going good night madame good night mrs good night replied and then he ran quickly down	30
the stairs leaving her and her new acquaintance madame standing on the landing together chapter w i it is a treacherous that is purchased by indulgence when had disappeared behind the curve of the staircase turned to madame which floor are you on madame the other man s wife on the floor above oh really then you are like me you don t like to be too high up i do not like to be very high up they tell me the air is the most pure at twelve i prefer to have a little worse air and not to have to climb so high for it of course there is the lift said who wanted to be polite but whose thoughts were with yes bat i do not like the lift at least i do not like the feeling that the place might get on fire and the lift would probably stop working and and we should all be alive ah that would be dreadful cried with a shudder but do not let us stand here come in and pay me a little visit madame madame looked hesitatingly at her morning garments i have been out i am not dressed i have been visiting a poor woman who is sick she said but i am alone my husband s dining out mrs urged oh do come in just for a few minutes i will show you my dog i cannot resist that is the dog a beauty the lady asked oh a beauty a pure bull come and see him and then turned round and led the way into her own domain madame following her oh what a pretty flat what a sweet room she madame cried ah it is much larger than mine and the are lovely but we took it furnished said yes i think we were very lucky ah it is such a chance when you take a house in that way said madame i have not been so lucky but there i did not know that i should like living in an establishment of this sort indeed i am not yet quite sure whether i do or not but tell me mrs where is the dog i will bring him and she went into the next room returning in a moment with the majestic behind her oh he is quite a beauty a love cried madame and his name delighted to find her favourite so highly k why what a name madame cried repeated smiling k said madame again but after several most attempts she had to give up the effort for say the word properly she simply could not but he is quite a beautiful person quite beautiful well to the dog who was her in a most suspicious manner are you not going to speak to me how do you do mr k she held out her hand to him and went a little nearer to her and began to at her gown the other s wife in a way that was anything bnt friendly madame hoping to his majesty further ventured to smooth down his silken satin coat but lifted his head and raised his upper lip in a of such that the lady made haste to put herself out of harm s way he does not like me she said in alarm you are dreadfully rude cried his majesty s mistress that was because you ventured to touch him before he had made up his mind whether you were to be trusted or not what a dreadful creature do you always have him about does he ever fly at any one no he would if i told him to do it he would fly at your throat this instant at a single word from me answered but he is very really he has always disliked my husband very much hut he has never done more than treat him to that oh no really when you once get to know him and he to like you is the dearest fellow in all the world and your husband does he like him not much he puts up with him because i have always had him by the bye are you going to mrs s to morrow i think so shall we go together oh i should like to very much but your husband does he like going three anywhere madame he is not going he never goes to in fact he scarcely ever goes out with me he always declares that he is not a society man in any way we might go for a drive before we go to mrs s i shall be delighted said madame with evident pleasure you are most kind to think of it and now i must be going up to my own apartments so i will wish you a good night she rose from her chair and expressed the which had so disturbed the lady before however she did not seem much frightened and stopped before the chimney shelf is that your husband mrs she asked pointing to a photograph in a silver frame yes it is a very good portrait of him replied and that is mr the other went on looking at a large photograph of that gentleman which filled a similar frame and occupied the other end of the shelf yes what a nice face he has i think him charming is he a relation of yours oh no not any relation but my very oldest friend replied we were children together little children together and you are friends during all these years how strange well you will bring mr to see me one day won t you i will with pleasure replied but the other man s wife madame he	30
is not mr now he is lord since his cousin died so cried the other in astonishment then that was why he looked so disturbed this evening ah and well he might well he might well will you bring lord then one day i thought him charming i m so glad cried with a of feeling as she took madame s firm outstretched hand good night good night but the little glow of pleasure soon died ay when she was once more left alone she sat down in a chair before the fire and made himself a bed on the skirt of her gown and then her thoughts flew back to the wonderful news which the day had brought aye and they flew back further than that back to the old days of her childhood when she and jack had been all the world to one another when the dark shadow of her mother s great ideas had not yet come between them then to the first trouble of her life when mrs had resolutely put a stop to her correspondence with her old the wretched day and what is so wretched as the impotent stand of a child against the powers that be when she had left jack s birthday his birthday or the feast of good s or one of those tender to which young folk attach much importance and then her thoughts wandered to the later days when major had first crossed her path madame when her mother had found out that he was rich and that he stood next to the title the day that he proposed and she had not dared to no because be had come armed with ber mother s consent the days later still when her marriage was coming very near and she had the sort of feeling that she couldn t go through with a ceremony which to her was hut a mockery when she bad been weak and yielding when when oh she could hardly bear to think of it now she bad been weak enough oat of sheer weakness and cowardice to let her mother for s sake purely mould her life in a wrong shape ruin her happiness and break her whole heart and spirit what a fool she had been and oh how bitter all bitter ber thoughts were then why if she had held out firmly and and had positively have refused to marry major what could her mother have done she could have given her an uncommonly bad time she could have her from any pleasures she might even have shut ber up on bread and water and have beaten her though that was not in the least probable but even supposing the very worst had happened if only she had held out firmly it would have been all over now for she knew that her mother would never have wished her to marry major after old lord was married again and now jack without ever having spoken of the subject in his life without the least fuss or worry of expectation had quietly become lord the other man s wife and well she gave a great sigh and said aloud that it was hard to bear i will write and tell my mother she said presently the sooner she what a huge mistake she has made the better so she sat down to her writing table and wrote a letter to mrs you will remember tack the sod she said he came in to day to tell me the great news the great change which has come into h s life he is now lord of county and hall through the death of his second cousin lord died yesterday i don t think i told you that he was in the th when we joined and is one of my greatest friends he thinks of leaving the service now she felt better when she had added a little general news and had given the letter to judge to post yet after all there is but poor satisfaction in who has managed to ruin your whole life for you and just as she was to think again and just then poor girl thinking was with being wretched major returned he was very full of what he called s luck and could talk about anything else and who did not want to think too much about the impossible that night tried to change the sub madame by telling him of the charming woman she had met that day h she said mrs introduced me to such a nice woman to day who lives in the flat just above us in fact she is a pole a madame oh suspiciously a pole are you sure no for i did not ask her nor did she anything about her but mrs said so and that she had brought her a letter of introduction from one of her dearest friends in major stood looking thoughtfully into the fire for a minute or two look here he said i don t mind what you do in a general way as you very well know but i don t like your picking up foreign women in this hand sort of fashion because oh well because she may even be a friend of s and i ve promised to drive with her to morrow that is take her for a drive and then to go to mrs s cried in dismay h well that doesn t matter but don t get into a way of running in and out of her rooms you see foreigners get mixed up one with another and and it s safer not to don t jou know very well i wish i d thought of it before i never did or i shouldn t have asked her of course said	30
mrs whose experience of had been quite disagreeable enough to make her wish to be very careful lest she should betray their whereabouts the other man s wife the following day about three o clock in the afternoon madame arrived and was shown into the drawing room am i too early she asked not at all i have only to put on my hat and i shall not be a minute you will excuse me won t you she went off to get ready and passing the door of the small study or smoking room saw major reading a r oh a is here you ll come and see her won t you she said not for the world he answered hurriedly i don t like foreigners never did my time to meet her will come soon enough pray don t let her come in here pray don t very well she answered and went away feeling that really he allowed his prejudices or his fears to carry him too far however she and madame went down the stairs together and got into the victoria which was waiting in the they had driven some little distance through the mild moist winter air when some sudden instinct made turn to her companion and ask her a question so abruptly that even to her own ears her voice seemed to have a threatening ring and to carry a sort of challenge with it by the bye she said did you ever know a woman called madame turned her head towards her madame but with such an air that was convinced in a moment that she had never heard of in all her life before she repeated no i don t think so is she a or a dress maker neither mrs replied i believe she is a a lady oh a lady i see what of her is she remarkable in any way what is her other name her it is that is her said madame looked surprised really she said ah that is very odd i never heard of such a before except as i say for a or a no i do not know her i never even heard of her i thought you might know her or know of her said mrs who having got the information she wanted did not wish to continue the subject further she is not a friend of mine or anything of that kind i understand i do not know her answered madame indifferently nor am i very likely to meet her all my friends here are english or nearly all and they are not any of them likely to know anyone with such an exceedingly odd as and caught herself wishing that she had said nothing about her husband s mysterious acquaintance the other xx murder too and great changes though for the better are not easily borne when went away from the that evening he jumped into a cab and drove straight round to his uncle s house in g square lord was at home but had company at dinner and being rather a large party they had not yet left the table i must see lord g to night said is my grandmother dining here not this evening sir her was to have dined here but sent her excuses this morning not feeling very well the servant replied well i ll go into the library and when lord leaves the table ask him to come to me for five minutes very good sir i will tell his as soon as the ladies leave the dining room so went to the library and made use of his time by writing a couple of letters before the door opened and lord appeared my dear jack i hope nothing is wrong he began in an alarmed voice my dear uncle cried jack jumping up i have come for your congratulations lord died last night and i succeed him mc my dear lad my dear lad was all that lord could gasp in his surprise so you are lord my dear lad t can t say enough to tell you how glad i am thank you now i must go i only wanted you to know it as soon as possible i am going down to in the morning and i ve a dozen things to do before i leave and my mother i m going round there now yes she must know it at once said dear how delighted she will be tells me she is ill though no not ill a touch of sore throat and she thought it safer not to come to night that was all then i ll go round there now good night please make my apologies to your friends for taking you away oh yes they re amusing themselves well enough said lord easily then jack went out to his cab and directed the man to drive round to brook street where his grandmother lived my lady is not very well i am not sure if you can see her to night sir said lady a man oh yes you tell i that i want to see her for ten minutes on most important business said jack seeing that the man was a stranger say mr the other man s very good sir he showed him into the library and in less than two minutes came down again i beg your pardon sir i did not know you my lady will see you if you will come up so jack followed the servant upstairs and was taken to the drawing room where his grandmother with a white lace shawl covering her head and shoulders was sitting near the fire my dear boy she cried i m so delighted to see you but what is your news nothing wrong with you i	30
before him it is not a very long journey from to london and when got to liverpool street he sent oflf to his rooms with his luggage and himself went to the as fast as the first circle train he could get into would take him he found everything at the huge pile of buildings where the murder had taken place looking very much as usual though there were a couple of standing at the entrance and the two or three men who were always to be seen about the hall looked scared and troubled one of them the office clerk looked up at him when he entered and seemed a little surprised you ve had a dreadful piece of business here said addressing himself to him oh horrible sir horrible he answered is i suppose i can see mrs i don t know sir at all you were an intimate friend of the family sir oh yes very intimate but i ve been down the country i only heard of it when i got the papers to town answered you don t know how mrs is i suppose oh poor lady they say she hasn t spoken a word hardly since the clerk replied and no wonder who did it have they got a clue yet the other man s wife i can t say the police are very close about it they set a watch on the and they asked a great many questions of they came across but they ve let slip nothing at all themselves have you had anyone that was at all likely not a bit of it answered the clerk it was a very bad night pouring with rain and we had very few people indeed and major went out in his evening clothes about half past seven and we never saw or heard sign of anything wrong until one of the servants found him at six o clock this morning but what time did he come in oh not late a little after twelve i was here and saw him come through he spoke to me in fact and said i needn t bother about the lift he would walk up he often did walk up as often as not h m very strange and you think he was murdered only a few minutes after that yes i should think so the doctors said he d been dead for hours when they got here a bit before seven lord shivered i never heard of anything so horrible in all my life he said well i will go up and make for mrs the clerk who had given him so much information and the man in charge of the lift made no objection and a few moments later he was softly knocking at the door of the of rooms tv ij of myself judge opened the door stepping back and making way for the visitor to enter he saw who that visitor was come in sir he said eagerly i think the mistress be glad to see you this way sir dreadful business judge said in an under tone sir answered judge scarce above a whisper and the worst of it all was to think that him and the mistress parted in anger and that he should be in the back while we was sleeping in here all of as as innocent as babies turned sharply back staring at judge s face parted in anger judge why what do you mean just what i say sir the major and mrs had ard words yesterday evening and the major went out in a rage the door fit to break all the glass in it to not that i ve mentioned the fact sir to anyone else nor mean to them police with a knowing look are such fools there s no knowing what they might take into their wooden if we was only to give em a chance as it is they ll never find anything out at all never not a blessed thing and mrs she took it terrible bad sir and enough to make her replied judge the major was at times there s no denying it i was with him aa for many a long year before ever he thought of marrying miss or the other man s wife anyone else and when he exchanged to the he got me exchanged too and then he bought me out as i you know sir he s dead and gone now poor gentleman and what s worse he s gone in a way and with no kind of preparation either for or for them as was nearest to him but he wasn t the he might have been to a young thing like she was and many s the ard word he flung at her and many s the time he s been fit to murder her as she stood but all the same and is one thing and murder is another so it s no wonder the young mistress is upset as she is to say nothing at all o f judge said a voice at that moment yes said judge with a jump now where the devil have i heard that voice before said to himself mr to see the mistress he heard judge say will see mr said the voice and then found himself in the presence of a middle aged lady and memory suddenly supplied him with a name to fit with the voice it was s mother mrs she met him with a subdued smile and a white hand outstretched how do you do mr or i should say now should i not i am quite well thank you mrs replied jack just touching her hand but returning neither the pressure nor the	30
smile tm afraid of myself yoa came to for my daughter began when interrupted her i came to see her he said lie had no intention whatever of letting mrs become a go between with and himself ah yes naturally but i don t think will be equal to seeing you she is terribly upset by this dreadful a fair she has seen nobody at all and she has scarcely spoken to me since i came which i did immediately upon receiving her she to yoa remarked wondering why she had not also at once him of what had taken place she to me yea mrs replied and i set off without an instant s delay in fact leaving my maid to bring my things after me found her in a dreadful state wildly excited and ill with grief indeed i had no idea that was bo devoted to the poor major who between our my dear lord was the last man in the world likely to take a young girl s fancy it was on the tip of s tongue to say major never had taken s fancy and that however excited and ill she might be now it was certainly not with grief however he managed to stop himself in time and also to reply to mrs in a fairly civil manner is naturally very much upset he said coldly anyone in h r position would be so but a the other man s wife you let her know that i am here please i really don t think that mrs began when jack calmly went on i think she will like to see me he said quietly at all events it can do no harm to let her know that i am here you see i have been so very intimate with them since they first came to my regiment if does not feel equal to seeing me she will not hesitate to say so i am sure you won t mind my ringing for judge will you thanks so many he rang the bell before the lady could do or say anything to stop him and he sat down again with a polite expression of thanks such as made mrs realize all at once that she had at last met a man who was not the least afraid of her and who meant to go his way and not hers in spite of everything she could or would do to prevent it then the door opened and the stolid judge appeared on the threshold oh judge said jack before mrs could speak will you let your know that i am here and ask if she feels equal to seeing me the mistress knows that you are here my lord answered judge solemnly and she would like to see you if you will step into the i will then shall i say good bye to you mrs in case i do not see you again turning to the lady oh certainly good night lord fm afraid of myself she said with mrs did not like any man or child to get the best of her and could not help showing it a little in hei manner however without to notice it just touched her hand with his and followed judge oat of the room to the where was awaiting him she was standing up by the fire place a tall figure in white with a as as her gown and with dark rings around her eyes such mournful eyes he hastened towards her and took her cold and hands in his my poor little girl he oh i my poor little girl what a terrible thing for yon she turned her sad eyes upon him jack is it you is it really you is it true or is it only a dream enough my poor darling he answered i went to bed early last night because i was so tired of being alone and we had quarrelled he and i at least he did he was angry because well because i was dull and i wanted him to take me to a theatre i told him that i didn t very oi n ask him to take me anywhere and he said no that i never asked him except when you were not at hand to go instead of him and then he said that he was going to a theatre with who was always glad of his company and he went away in a rage such a rage jack bat you know and the other s wife jack i never saw him again till till oh i it is too horrible too horrible she shuddered violently and her face was so ghastly white that she seemed as if she would fall at every moment jack took her hands again in his strong warm grasp and held them fast my poor darling he murmured soothingly you most try not to think about that you must indeed poor wasn t always himself and of course neither he nor you had any idea of what was going to happen don t think about that more than you can help dear remember how often before he said things that he did not really mean or was sorry for afterwards yes but but i was so angry she answered so angry i could not speak all i could think was that you were coming back you were coming to day and that that oh jack jack i am so wretched so wretched now it will all pass by it will wear off in time he told her in soothing tones had no cause to love him poor chap but i give you my word i would give everything i am worth at this moment if	30
it would bring him back again alive and well she looked round fearfully as if she was afraid of the sound of her own voice jack she said in a whisper or what was scarcely above a if i could only feel like that too but i can t i can t that s why i m so wretched i m afraid of myself in spite of the gravity of the situation and that unless dreadful something lying in the next room jack almost laughed but he choked down the desire and drew her very near to him dear child he said tenderly try not to let yourself get thinking such things as these rather how good you were to him and how often you bore with his faults and how you resisted temptation like a saint or like what you are a good woman she shivered again and looked round in the same frightened way as she had done before don t call me that she said i wish i were good but i m not afraid of myself jack tm afraid of myself i chapter xxii unless don t jump at results the further you jump the less certain can you be of the exact spot on which you will alight when the words i m afraid of myself left s lips for the third time lord began to feel that something must be done to bring her to a sense of the seriousness of the situation and that he would have to be the one to do it my dear he said in a sharp clear voice and giving her hands a little shake as he spoke do pull yourself together and try to realize that it won t do for you to be talking like this remember the situation is a very grave one and that it is our business to find out who committed this u the other man s wife crime i mean to find out who did it and you must help me but for god s sake my child don t let yourself get into a way of talking such nonsense as you have just let slip to anyone but me of course i know that you are and but you must be reasonable and collected in of that jack i can t be reasonable she cried it s all so horrible such an end to such a life and and my mother your mother had no business to come at all said he sharply she has brought enough misery into your life already far too much for her to be of any real use to you now that you are in trouble but my dear you must pull yourself together to talk things over with me before your mother comes to disturb us first of all you know that judge is aware that you and the major had words last night no i did not know it she answered evidently trying hard to collect her senses but he does know it he told me of it as soon as i came in told me too that he had not spoken of it to a soul and the question is must it be told at the which i suppose will be to morrow yes to morrow afternoon at three o clock she said i thought so then is there any need for you to say anything about that isn t it bad enough without all that and the fact that unless he went off to a theatre with another woman cannot you possibly suppress all that only we must arrange with judge and probably with your maid also no she was out she did not come in till ten o clock replied and of course there are no other servants of ours and just at that hour never any of the house servants about only judge with a long drawn sobbing breath was at all likely to hear it and judge will never say a word if he is told not to do so broke in decidedly so i shall tell him that on all accounts we think it will be better if he remembers nothing about the circumstance and now tell me dear what about i she started as if she had been shot oh jack do you think that it was certainly i do he said promptly don t you think that meant doing for him the first chance she got don t you think that the major knew perfectly well what a determined character he had to deal with else would he have been in such mortal terror when she appeared on the scene at would he have left the service and deliberately tried to lose himself in this place for instance not he oh depend upon it he knew the kind of woman he had to deal with and he arranged matters accordingly and you think she did it the other man s yes i do but there is so little for us to go upon oh i jack you don t know how wretched i am everything is so shameful so humiliating so degrading for me to have to say to the whole world that my husband was not faithful that some other woman had power to make him alter all his plan of life and then to be able to say nothing about that woman own that she is but a shadow to me why i have never even seen her but you have seen her over and over again objected what nonsense you are talking did we not see her over and over again at we believe that we saw the woman whom called she admitted but surely you have forgotten the day when she invaded your little drawing room in your hut when she insisted upon going in and sat resolutely	30
down to wait for the major i did not see her persisted but i did he cried triumphantly and i know that it was the mysterious lady whom we had noticed in the town weeks before no my child i m afraid it is no good your trying to shield the lady she did the deed sure enough and if they can catch her she will have to suffer for it for a minute or two mrs did not speak she had slipped her hands free from the warm clasp of his and instead of standing beside him she had back in an attitude of extreme weariness unless and so slight and frail did she look that jack s heart him that in his anxiety to spare her ultimate annoyance and trouble he was pressing her now more hardly than had strength to bear jack she said at length won t you understand that i would rather do anything than have that woman s name mentioned but why in astonishment why i can t tell you i i don t know only to please me jack for my sake let the police find out what they will but don t tell them about that woman dear jack please her tone was so urgent her whole face and manner so full of entreaty that he had practically no choice in the matter of course it s not my business to say anything one way or the other he said unwillingly i am only an and will probably have nothing to say about the affair then shall i speak to judge for you if you will in a very meek tone and on your side you ll promise me one thing he began i will promise nothing nothing she cried wildly not to night jack don t say it i m so filled with the horror of it all i can t even think so ask me nothing to night jack ask me nothing but i must ask you one thing he persisted don t be afraid i am not going to say anything relating to ourselves it is only that you must put the other man s wife a watch on your own tongue you must be careful what you say and for heaven s sake my child for your own sake for mine let no excitement no feeling of distress at your terrible situation tempt you into giving utterance again to the words which you said to me just now that you were afraid of yourself i will try she said humbly the of her tone melted his heart instantly for the space of a few seconds he had felt a shade hurt that she should so evidently imagine that he was going to speak of their own future he had even felt a thrill of indignation that she should even in her grief or at least her distress think him capable of even at their feeling for one another while her dead husband was lying close at hand but her crushed tone conquered all that my poor little girl he cried tenderly i m so sorry all this has come upon you how i wish i could do any thing to help you to bear it you do help me jack she began and then the door opened and mrs sailed into the room she professed the greatest possible surprise at finding him still there h are you here still lord she exclaimed i quite thought that you had gone long ago lord looked at her with absolute calmness no i am here still mrs he said quietly i have had a good deal to say to and a great deal to hear from her unless i don t think is at all wise to tire herself in this way mrs remarked with icy politeness and she has a very trying day to look forward to to morrow very trying he agreed well i was just going to say good bye when you came in so i ll say it now and he held out his hand to her as if he did not know that mrs was in the room got up from her chair good bye jack she said you have been very kind i shall never forget it good night he said again then with a cold salutation to mrs he went out of the room and closed the door behind him dear me what a remarkably disagreeable young man jack has grown said a moment later i always thought him a detestable boy you seem very intimate with him we were very intimate with him replied so it seems and did like him poor fellow was exceedingly fond of him said mrs with quiet decision always thought most highly of him and did he allow you to be jack and to each other mrs looked up in surprise why mother we have been jack and to each other all our lives i should as soon think of calling you mrs as of calling him anything else but jack b the other s wife oh well well i asked the the older lady and added to herself that it would be better not to say much about the young man since it was evident that he had been and was the chosen friend of the house and jack meantime had drawn judge into the dining room judge he said in an you will be discreet at the to morrow i will that same sir said judge promptly you ll not say anything about about words having passed between the major and mrs she is very anxious that nothing should be said about it not a word shall be said by me sir judge declared	30
and is anxious too that nothing shall be said if it can be helped that is about that woman who came to one day and insisted on seeing the major do you remember i remember it sir judge said looking straight at jack all the same that was the as done it sit said jack and then checked him abruptly doubt sit chapter doubt as a vessel is known by the sound whether it be cracked or not so men are proved by their speeches whether they be wise or foolish i as the words all the same that was the woman as done it left judge s lips an awful thought presented itself to lord s mind a thought which was sufficient to put his brain in a whirl and to make his heart sick within him could it be possible was it possible that to madness by her husband s and her own wretchedness had been driven to strike the fatal blow and so had the best of reasons for not wishing either the quarrel or the existence of to be mentioned almost as the thought came to him he shook himself together with a mental assurance that it was not and could not be true i think that is all i have to say judge he said i you ll be pressed very hard at the but you must take care to tell the truth you know i understand sir said judge that s all right then good night and went oflf down the corridor to the lift feeling more than half ashamed of himself for having let that miserable thought find a place in his mind even for an instant the s how is the poor lady to night sir asked the lift man very sadly answered in fact she seems completely knocked over and no wonder no wonder at all sir said the lift man in sympathetic tones i know i ve felt all day as if i didn t know whether i was standing on my head or my heels and them police is enough to just make you feel silly or as if you didn t know whether you d done it yourself or not they was round here an hour or two back just asking questions enough to make me feel as if i d like to knock one or two of em down oh well they must find out all they can and how are they to find out except in that way said who had no ill feeling against the police and thought them a very useful body of men in their proper place aye but their questions often put ideas into your head that d never get there otherwise said the man you re an old soldier said jack suddenly the real army tone of hatred towards the civil powers yes sir smith of the at your service the man replied with a salute ah well i wouldn t get thinking anything one way or the other if i were you murder will out you know and the police have had no time to get a clue yet one way or the other good night doubt t good night sir replied the man and as went away he stood watching him wisely h m perhaps you t be so easy in your mind young gentleman if you d heard as many questions asked about yourself as i ve had asked about you to day not that i believe that you had a hand in it all the same s first thought had been to go straight to his rooms then he remembered he had had no dinner bo walked round to his club in spite of his sensible advice to the lift man with that dreadful thought still lingering in his mind not that he wanted to believe it nor that he thought it was all likely to be true but get rid of it he could not because certain scraps of conversation coming back he remembered how she had said long ago that she had a conviction it would all come right sooner or later he remembered how she had cried passionately that she was not a good woman not a good wife and now now all her anxiety seemed to be to prevent any possibility of the woman being with the crime and above all and over all there kept rising in his mind the words which had so startled him this very evening if i could only feel like that too but i can t afraid of however he shook himself together again as he went up the steps of his club and told himself that he was neither more nor less than a fool old chap he said solemnly to his own thoughts you want your dinner you re upset and by all this the other man s wife you ought to be ashamed of yourself to have a doubt of the little woman for an instant why she s as good as gold and as true as steel old you ought to be ashamed of yourself my word you ought but he could not shake the doubt partly because his appearance was the signal for a fierce fire of questioning from a great many men who knew him and a great many who did not enjoy that privilege he got rid of one group by saying that he was tired and hungry and would talk about it when he had had his dinner but when he reached the dining room he found to his dismay that two men whom he knew very well were dining together and a third one major who was generally regarded as a terrible blot upon an otherwise club was dining at a table by himself now our friend jack did not dislike many people	30
he very few and hated none but for major he entertained at all times feelings which were a mixture of and dislike and after that evening he felt able to say that if there was a person in the whole world whom he hated that person was major when had got about half way between the door of the dining room and the table at which he was to eat his dinner he came well within the range of major s very peculiar vision and that personage yes i feel that i am quite justified in describing him as a personage he was so intensely disagreeable to so many people that personage doubt greeted him in a loud voice and with a comprehensive wave of a very large hand half hidden by an exceedingly prominent ah jack my boy he how do er er night returned briefly with a nod and sat down at the table with his back towards him now i wonder said one of the two men whom knew whether old will be choked off like that brute returned the other not he i when was ever choked off except by a dead cut he ll go across presently and ask jack to breakfast to morrow morning in er er or er er because the cooking s so d d bad in london a gentleman can t pay his friends the bad compliment of asking them to poison themselves with it that was why he left the junior because the cooking was so a gentleman couldn t put up with it any longer by jove said the first speaker one power i thought it was something to do with smoking yes so the committee think rejoined the other but then what do know about a swell like old and the reasons which make him withdraw the shining light of his countenance from paltry little institutions like the junior i say just look at the brute now he s meditating a rush on old jack when he goes for him i shall go along too and hear the fun so shall i laughed power the other man s wife meantime was steadily getting on with his dinner although he had no appetite and would infinitely have preferred a pipe or a brandy and instead of the fish which he was forcing to swallow and behind him sat over the table with a tooth pick and the bill of fare alternately studying the latter with his little pig s eyes and watching s back he s meditating a now said one of the no he hasn t finished his wine yet laughed the other but there it goes said the first man and sure enough the man whom they called old poured out the last glass of wine from the bottle at his elbow and tossed it off with an air that said as plainly as could be business then he got on to his feet threw down his and shot out his major s linen was always a matter of grave importance to him and the care that he took of it was then he examined the ceiling and shook his feet out as if to take away any from his joints and finally strolled across to s table well my boy i haven t seen you for a week or more he remarked in a friendly sort of way ah have you been to or jack grimly haven t been out of england give you my word said seriously though what i doubt i want to stop in london for is more than i can tell you h m it would puzzle the pope returned jack to the intense amusement of power and home who had also come to hear what was going on the fact is remarked sitting on a chair the wrong way and as much of himself over the back as was possible the fact is that london used to be a jolly enough for anyone but of late it s just got impossible for a gentleman to stop in is that why you stop here jack coolly my soul replied i really can t tell you why i do stop but i m going to for a few months when it s nearer christmas they do things so much better there in an exclusive club is an exclusive club there s no mistake about it but here oh here returned jack here most of the clubs do want there s no mistake about that by the by how come you to be dining here to night i thought you made an absolute rule of dining at the junior in fact the last time i saw you you told me the junior was the only place in town that a gentleman could dine at power and home exchanged glances of intense enjoyment jack went on calmly eating his dinner major so furiously over the back of the chair that it over and all but landed him on his face on the floor the wife aw er er the fact is the cooking at the junior is so that i had to give it up hadn t any help for it of course y know that s how they manage things so much better in and whatever goes wrong it isn t the cooking er er don t y know ah i i wonder you ever trust your in a london club at all my soul i do must look after my property dear boy replied with a knowing look out of his little eyes at the others by the bye have you been away i have answered jack helping himself to roast aw down the	30
country yes down the country er er and who have you been staying with lady or the of i don t know either of them bless me you don t say so they re both great friends of mine i must introduce you to them i ve myself to go to towers for christmas that s what is keeping me in england now you said just now that you were going to for a few months when it got nearer to christmas remarked jack grimly he did not often feel inclined to take it out of or anyone else to night he did i meant new year of course dear boy returned gaily everybody goes to doubt i for new year y know it s the great time there like is here slip of the tongue that was all at this point power gave home a kick which being interpreted meant that even jack could catch old no the brute s as clever as he s high muttered home in reply by the bye who was an at changing a subject not altogether to himself that s an ugly business at the who d have expected poor old to get out like that i don t know that anybody ever expects to be finished by a in the back answered jack but i do wonder sometimes that more people don t come to grief that way poor old wasn t such a bad sort said jack s words i always got on uncommonly well with him but it s a bad end to come to and for my part i don t believe in men of his age marrying young wives you d better be careful in what you say put in power not altogether liking the expression of jack s face bless me got a right to express an opinion haven t i the at the top of his voice not in my presence answered jack between his teeth in your presence old fellow why what have you got to do with it the other man s wife just this that i was very intimate both with major and his wife and moreover mrs is one of the oldest friends that i have in the world and what the devil losing his temper entirely has that got to do with my opinion on elderly husbands and young wives wait till i say something against the lady my dear boy before you rush in so eagerly to her defence qui s excuse s accuse y know jack s brief anger died out in a moment yes you re quite right i d no business to take you up so sharply i beg your pardon but i can t think why the devil you don t go and live among gentlemen at or they d like to have you all the time they re eating their dinner i ve no doubt j but you re quite thrown away here but the never saw the sarcasm of the apology he was a short sighted and person who never saw what he did not want to see not at all dear boy he said don t mention it again i m a man of the world y know and don t go through life my eyes shut not a bit of it then he got up and moved away towards the smoking room where presently power followed to find him against the very middle of the chimney shelf with a huge cigar in his mouth my word he was saying i ve doubt jack a decent sort of fellow but to night he s as as you please how well enough to have to oh broke in power hastily s had a lot to try him of late and it s no joke to have one of your most intimate friends in the back without a minute s warning why cried the who in the world are you talking about about of course said power mildly and who is he what didn t you know that has come in for the title that he s lord now no never heard a word of it but it s true all the same his uncle or cousin or somebody died last week said power greatly amused b by jove cried the then made a bolt from the room jack old fellow he when he reached his side i ve just heard the news i congratulate you old chap my soul i m delighted why i wouldn t say a word against the little woman for the world or any friend of yours my soul i wouldn t i wish you joy of your new honours with all my heart and then he seized hold of jack s hand and shook it with might and main thanks thanks said jack uneasily thanks the other man s a quarter of an hour later when the gallant had gone oflf to attend a small party of given by the of jack looked round a group of grinning faces and delivered himself of a sentiment and a statement ton my soul he remarked they do manage things better in and and i ll tell you what it is you fellows if this club doesn t begin to weed out within the next three months i shall put up for the junior in spite of the cooking three months cried a voice that s rope enough to hang himself returned jack chapter xxiv i art of the truth stoop and let it pass the storm wiu have its way in due time on the following day lord himself to attend the held on the body of major but when it was all over and for the present the mystery had not in any way been cleared up and the doubt in his mind	30
he was he d as use mr for that excuse aa anyone alive and well at the time in fact i think he d rather for in a general way them as is dead and gone can t give you away by on you as them as is walking about with wills of their is able to do that will you can stand down said the at this point when the came to an end for that day went round to the as naturally as possible he found crying in a big chair by the drawing room fire and mrs scolding her for the general turn of events really he heard her this is the most disgraceful i was ever mixed up in in all my life i never heard such a thing a man with a young wife carrying on all this letters signed intimate friends who have been dead and buried for twenty years and then to get murdered in the end and have a dreadful exposure like this i am shocked utterly shocked it is not my fault mother sobbed meekly i am not so sure about that severely if you had been everything to that you ought to the b wife have been oh here is lord with a change of tone i was just expressing my disgust at poor major s conduct to she added to him i heard what you said mrs said he very quietly and you are quite wrong in one particular i can assure you was everything that was patient and good as a wife and he took her hand tenderly i have seen a great deal of them the last few months and i believe was so impressed with s forbearance as major was himself he is dead and gone now poor chap and i would not say to the whole world what i do not mind saying to you he was a very bad husband to and she bore with his faults aye and his sins mrs as only a truly good woman would or could have borne with them no no cried breaking into fresh sobs and her hand away i can t bear to hear you say that jack i was not the great mistake was said he cutting short her self words the great mistake was in s ever being forced into marrying a man for whom she could have neither love nor respect as far as your being mixed up with a disgraceful affair mrs you surely ought not to blame for that you have yourself and yourself only to thank for it but it is who has had to bear the of your lord gasped the lady you insult me a surprise if to speak the plain and truth is to insult you then i must plead guilty to the charge he said i insist upon your leaving the house she cried he turned to am i to go he asked no she cried in an voice oh i don t don t my mother is so angry as mrs rushed from the room jack don t go you are my only friend and i i am so wretched and so wicked i don t deserve to have a friend in all the world chapter xxv a great surprise verily money in every habitation men with dignity and it is the tongue for him who would be eloquent and the weapon for him who would fight major was buried the following day a good many people attended the funeral including major who gave evidences of wishing to be on exceedingly intimate terms with the new lord and there was present also a golden haired lady of striking appearance who cried quietly behind a thick veil during the whole of the impressive service then they went back to the and in the presence of lord and those who had been invited to attend the funeral the dead man s will was read it was a very simple one he left everything of the other man s wife which he died possessed to his wife with the exception of a certain diamond cross which he wished to pass as an with the title then there came a very odd statement perhaps the ever put down as any man s last will and testament i believe it said from various causes that i shall not live till i am fifty years old and as my wife would then be but a young woman and is not a woman well calculated to live a lonely life and also has been an exceedingly good wife to me in every way i wish it to be clearly and distinctly understood by all whom it may concern that it is my express wish that after my death she should please herself in the matter of marrying again if she chooses to remain a widow well and good if she chooses to marry again it is with my full approval and consent when the lawyer came to an end there was a dead silence which lasted for some minutes then lord spoke did you make that will mr mr said the man of law yes my lord i did and in whose possession has it been up to this time it has been in my possession and mine only it has not been out of my private keeping for an hour a great surprise i see and then the old lord got up and went across the room to who was sitting speechless beside her mother my dear mrs he said i consider that poor has made a very just and generous will i suppose it is as great a surprise to you as to all of us i never knew a word of it she	30
dislike as you know perhaps you will be kind enough to order it a i will said who now that the battle was over and she was mistress of herself for ever began to feel faint again and to have a choking in her throat to feel that she would be thankful to find herself alone mrs had scarcely been gone ten minutes when judge showed in lord who told her that he had been up five or six floors paying a visit to some other occupants of the buildings did they say anything about me she asked eagerly i assure you jack i quite dread to meet anyone i don t think any one has sent to ask after me all the week but mrs scott told me she had sent down twice he answered i judge did not think of you with all the cards and so on still why don t you ask him about it eventually she rang the bell and asked judge what cards of had been left and who had asked for her i ll bring them said judge solemnly and going away returned in a minute with a large blue and white bowl three parts full of not all these exclaimed ye and madame the lady with the white hair madame oh did she send she did came or sent every day and was very kind and considerate i wanted her to the other wife come in one day she seemed so anxious to hear how you were but she wouldn t she said if you would send up when you felt inclined to see anyone she would come down any time and see you that was kind of her wasn t that kind jack that will do judge thank you thereupon judge disappeared and turned over the cards in the bowl while her visitor wandered about the room with his hands in his pockets he said at last i m going down to in the morning for very long she asked no only a few days by the bye how long is your mother going to stay she is going home to morrow answered briefly oh really you re not going with her i suppose no i would not go to for anything just now besides i don t want to leave london till the is settled indeed if i did they would probably send for me back again and and it wouldn t look well that awful doubt flashed into s mind again good heavens could it be possible that she was calculating on the chances of the effect of her to the general you are better he remarked abruptly she looked up in surprise at the hard tone yes i am better jack she said at least i m a great surprise better in the but at night oh and she broke off shuddering as if the recollection of the past few nights was too awful for words to express i am bound to say that poor jack shivered also but he went on talking partly because the thought which would twist itself into his mind was so unwelcome and so that he felt that he must do anything to try to break the spell which seemed to have come over him how is it that mrs is going back so soon he asked by the bye is she in i suppose she won t speak to me if she sees me well you did offend her mrs replied mother has just told me that she cannot remain to meet you until a little time has gone by she doesn t mean to quarrel with you though no i not said jack in a dry tone looked up again she scarcely seemed to understand this new jack this cynical hard jack and if the truth be told she did not much like him jack she said suddenly getting up from her chair and going close to him as he stood leaning against the end of the chimney shelf is anything you my dear girl a great deal is troubling me he answered vaguely but have done anything to vex you wistfully to vex me no touched by her tone the man s you know she said if i have seemed to be not the same you must not think anything of it jack how much has happened to me during the past week the terrible shock i have had i don t think she said with another shiver that i quite knew what i was doing or saying for several days but that is past now or partly so and i am myself again at least i am tolerably rational and if i said or did anything to when i was out of my mind i hope you won t visit it on me jack the effect of this was to make him believe more than ever that she had done that to which the finger of suspicion pointed but in spite of it his love for her was stronger than ever at that moment he cried catching her hands in his and holding them hard against his heart who am i that i should set myself up as your judge you know all that i feel for you and and you know if you are the same or not and as for offending me i don t think i quite follow you jack she said with a patient he dropped her hand instantly i am not fit to talk to you just now he said in a tone of apology and yet it was a cold tone too let us talk about common place things by the bye i wonder if you would give me a cup of tea of course i will she was	30
puzzled and bewildered by this sudden change in her friend jack she rang for judge and ordered the tea and i am your friend then went back to her chair and sat down her face from the heat of the fire with a large indian fan and wondering all the time what could have come to jack to make him so odd and so himself but though he stayed for half an hour longer the real jack never came back again they talked about all manner of things but she was conscious all the time that jack was making conversation and when at last he went away with a that he was going to hall for a few days she felt as if her old friend had gone for ever and she sat down again after the door had closed behind him and cried as if her heart would break chapter i am your friend friendship consists not in what s the best news by noon the following day mrs had departed shaking the dust of the p from off her feet she hoped so she put it for ever i do hope when you have got settled down after this dreadful aud disgraceful occurrence she said at parting that you will take my advice i don t mean to give you any more and leave this horrible place take another flat if you will or a of rooms in an hotel but pray don t remain here if you do i beg you will not expect me to visit you here because nothing nothing would induce me to do it the s wife you forget this is only a furnished flat mother said we only took it for six months and we have been here three already so i shall only have it for about three months unless mrs will consent to my time consent echoed mrs why i should think the woman would almost pay you to stop here i know would but surely you will never be so mad as to try to keep the place longer i don t know yet it suits me very well she replied quietly we shall see you will never get a servant to stay with you oh yes i shall keep judge with me under any circumstances and is a very sensible woman quite too sensible to have any fancies about poor and you also it seems mrs snapped well go your own way only don t come to me for sympathy if you find it doesn t answer that is all i trouble you about it mother said a smile curling her lips involuntarily and at last she was alone quite alone with no chance of lord s coming in to keep her company for an hour or two she did not mind she went out in the and changed her books at the library which she bought some sweets and some trifling odds and ends which she required i am your friend hair pins and things and by seven o clock was back at the again the looked very bright and and judge had made the table in the dining room look very pretty and dainty for she had dinner there as she had done ever since her husband s death not of course caring to appear at all in the public dining room and then after dinner when she had settled down to her book by the fire again she began to feel that she had never been quite so lonely in all her life before first she found that her thoughts would wander away from her book then it occurred to her that the room was very badly lighted so she stirred the fire into a brilliant blaze and put some more coals on so as to keep it at a good height then she began to think about the major her dead husband and so intolerable was the thought that she got up and rang the bell twice that is to say for the maid is my fire lighted yes madam i think i shall go to bed shall you be staying up much longer no madam i shall go to bed in a few minutes after madam you have had supper i am just now making some for myself and mr judge replied but if madam wishes to retire mr judge can keep it from burning the other man s yes tell judge to look after it i want to go to bed at once i am tired i think i shall sleep to night so went back to the kitchen do you think you can keep the from burning she asked of judge the mistress wishes to go to bed why bless me it s only just nine o clock he remarked however the mistress can happily for her now get up and go to bed at what hour she pleases hurry away my rose of i will stir the pot till you bring your sweet back again get along you impudent cried highly flattered nevertheless yet when morning came and went into her mistress s room with a cup of tea mrs had slept no better than on the preceding nights madam has a headache remarked after one glance at her mistress yes such a headache cried poor wearily will not madam stop in bed this morning and rest a little the maid asked she always addressed her mistress in the third person and always the of madame to the english form but mrs would not hear of stopping in bed a moment longer than was necessary no no i ve had more than enough of bed she cried get my bath ready and i will get up at once i am dying to get up i am she	30
felt better and almost ashamed of her fears now that the broad daylight had come she went into the dining room where her breakfast was served and looked over her paper and at one or two weekly journals which had come that morning with quite a keen interest there were one or two to the tragedy which had taken place in the s w which brought the blood into her cheeks and the of fear back to her heart for a moment but as she read on all that passed away again and she felt as if she had been an utter fool to have been so frightened in the long dark watches of the night which thank god was past and yet she was dreadfully dull for the first time in her life she seemed to have no aim in existence she tried to read but when she had looked over the papers she found that she could not fix her attention on the page she began to at a piece of beautiful and artistic which had given her great pleasure during many an hour that jack had spent with her but now she seemed to have no patience to work the gay silken threads in and out and at last she threw it down and walked to the window where she stood tapping her fingers on the pane and wishing that she could take a journey to new or the moon or anywhere far enough away from her small world in london then she suddenly herself of the pleasant little polish woman upstairs and no sooner thought of her than she ran out of the room calling judge judge i the other s wife yes he answered appearing hastily at the door of the cupboard which he called his go up to madame s and give her my compliments and ask her if she will come down and lunch with me say that fm quite alone yes he replied she went back to the window again and stood there looking out over the street she fancied that a good many of the people who passed looked up curiously as if some signs of the terrible tragedy which for a few hours had been the talk of the town would be apparent in some difference about the walls or the windows of the my mother was quite right she said i shall never be able to stay here the very walls seem full of sounds well as soon as the is settled i shall have to go away but not to the not on any account to the then judge came back with his message madame sends her compliments and will come down in a quarter of an hour very good then order luncheon for two judge please she said quite brightly so by the time madame was shown in she was in the mood to run and meet her to with the enthusiasm of one just relieved from some unpleasant situation oh i m so glad to see you i thought you were never coming to see me any more my poor little one why asked madame then see am not and in mj country wa do not receive anyone at those times neither do we explained but i do not call you anyone at least you are different you live under the same roof you are so kind and and i should have been glad to see you that is all thank you my child thank you madame cried and now tell me how is it with yourself my poor little one i am very lonely and and it was a dreadful shock to me a dreadful thing to happen yoa know madame a dreadful thing but but you are not overwhelmed with grief is that it eh ah i yes yes i understand it was a of convenience and the poor husband was much is that it eh well well little one it will pass by in time and then you will marry to please yourself the other man s wife oh i no no don t speak of it cried trembling and looking round fearfully no no we will not speak of it but for the present you are lonely and dull and nervous but you are not left quite alone in your house surely yes quite alone except for and judge answered mournfully and the good mother madame went away yesterday returned my mother is not of much use when anything and dreadful happens she only thought it was all very disgraceful and mostly my fault ah that is the british matron all over murmured the polish woman and the friend who used to be here much the pleasant young man who is now a lord with the frank eyes and the gay laugh where is he he is away too said the clouds falling over her face again you see he has just come into a very large property and he must attend to all the business connected with it but that is not all said madame simply crimson instantly oh madame he he is different something has altered him i don t know what it is but he was so different when he was only jack i am so unhappy so unhappy i feel as if i had not one friend in the world except yourself and why should i expect to be my friend but i am your friend said the other solemnly no light chapter light women always speak the truth but not the whole truth i wonder how is it possible for a peace loving man like myself to sit down on a lovely july morning as this is with the turning over the three days cut	30
grass just over the hedge and railing which my garden from the meadow which lies between the house and the high road and write a story of the doubts which filled and made able the hearts of a man and a woman while one s own heart is filled to overflowing not with the pride of life nor the lust of the eyes nor even the desire of this world but with actual lust of blood of for i suppose that blue bottles do have blood as to one out against the wall is to make a on the paper and on whatever weapon you choose to use or happen to find handy with which to the enemy and then either your wife comes and says that you are an creature who has no business to have a lot of silly foolish fancies or else she looks at you a week afterwards with big eyes and that we shall have to have such and such a curtain or window blind or something sent to the wash this week they ve got so with with flies and things i ve noticed that women say o the man s wife when they want to express some damage or other which has not been an actual accident but has really been done on purpose well i it is very to the wives but in my case i see no remedy for the evil except by the total of the blue bottles which i am afraid is not a very likely event so until the happy day comes when blue bottles no longer annoy me i fear that my poor will have to go on enduring the dreadful evidences of slaughter in every room of the into which my or her pleasure take me for to tell the truth i cannot stand a blue bottle anyhow i don t like and we haven t any black but seriously a couple of rats in a room where i was trying to tell a story would not if they would keep tolerably quiet and amuse themselves without expecting me to play with them succeed in making work so utterly impossible as one blue bottle is able to do i often think of during the blue bottle time the blue fly upon the pane and i wonder if the intolerable sound as i do if so poor soul what a lively time she must have had of it i should hope though that she got up sufficient energy to kill that i always do it as a duty because that comes to a bad end stops one branch at least of the family from spreading any further the night before last i wandered about my bedroom in no light the of attire luckily the night was warm trying to the earthly destruction of the biggest fly i had ever seen he made more noise and showed more ingenuity than any living creature which has ever come under my notice before but i got the best of him at last you see a gets tired in time and then i followed him up from point to point of the nice white ceiling and pinned him in the end by means of a tied round the top of a long wooden rod which belongs in some way to the windows i fancy for hanging muslin curtains to i could go on on this subject for the rest of the day but as my readers may find the an stupid i will bring myself to a stop hoping that they will forgive me for having drifted oflf the regular track of the story i am ashamed of myself for i know my faults one of which ever leads me to wander a field and follow up other subjects than the one in hand forgive me reader i have been very earnest minded in writing this novel and promise you that i will wander no more until i have written the last word so to go back to my story i well from the day that madame first came down from her own flat in obedience to s summons not a day passed by but they spent some hours together either went up to sit with madame or madame came to lunch or perhaps spend the evening with and some days they drove out together they became in fact the of friends and the other man s wife indeed at that time was sadly in need of some one to cheer her and sustain her during a very trying state of affairs for one thing the tedious had been a severe strain upon her and for another lord remained in and although he wrote to her every two or three days still the letters were all from the new jack whom she did not like and did not tend to comfort her or to improve her spirits in the least i can t tell she said to yes they had become intimate to be and ne to each other i can t think what has come to jack he and i have always been such friends the very best of friends and and oh i would not worry about it my child said kindly lord thinks it is best to wait a little before he comes up to town again and is seen here very much and it is better little one far far better and wiser you would not like to set the all talking would you what you call here mrs but why need his letters be different ah it is fancy mere fancy wait a month or two and then you will see that he will be just the same as ever why perhaps he thinks that you would not like him to be just the same how much has happened to disturb all your	30
by putting herself forward she had had no idea that major had kept her letters he had always assured her that he destroyed them as soon as he had read them well the end of it all was that the police were completely baffled there was no evidence which could fix suspicion on any person connected with the dead man the weapon with which the foul deed had been done was of course in the hands of the authorities but this told no tale it was a fine long and narrow blade with a neat handle slightly with gold and silver such a dagger in fact as you may see on any lady s i i j to the front table where it no more mission than that of cutting the pages of the last new magazine or the latest society paper therefore after nearly an hour s deliberation the was brought to an end and the jury returned a verdict of wilful murder against some person or persons unknown chapter to the front the darkest day live till to morrow will have passed away one said madame to one morning about three weeks after major s death you are very restless oh ne so restless cried i can t settle down to do anything no but i will tell you what you ought to do you should take a little journey you are excited and nervous and you are growing fanciful for all those there is nothing nothing like a little change no i don t want to go away replied decidedly better than here madame suggested but i can t go away i have no one to go with i am so alone you know i might go home to the but i don t want to go there for a the other han s wife time and my mother says she cannot leave my father if she would i i don t care about going away with my mother i am better off here dear but i will go with you if you like dear child said madame kindly what do you say to a little trip to the south of france or to one of your own pretty places ia england or yes i should like it with you dear ne how kind you are to me cried with a burst of feeling but but please don t ask me to go away just yet not just yet very well it must be as you like returned madame she smiled as she the girl s hand with her firm white fingers she understood so well all that was in her mind so well but by and by when all has come right you will then go with me eh i am quite old to be your friend little one but i am very young in my heart looked up in surprise why ne dear why should you say that you are not old what nonsense it is only your hair that is white that is all and it is such pretty white hair too all short and curling it would be like a baby s head if it were not white madame passed her hand carelessly through her snowy curls which were as had truly said like a baby s except for their lack of colour i am not very young little one she said forty five last birthday forty five that is to the front getting on but my hair has been as white as this for ten years past and more or less white since before i was thirty and you were fair before or dark asked i was fair always but my eyes are dark of course madame answered just at first i did not like my hair when it was changing colour for a little time it looked quite dark but when it got all white i became used to it and now i prefer it it looks more or less distinguished and it suits any colour choose to wear in my garments now with red hair such as so many of your english and scotch women have it is very difficult to dress well you must not wear any form of red or pink although most red haired ladies do i met a lady at a party about a month ago she went on the wife of a very rich stock alfred she was pointed out to me as being very rich and very clever in all relations of life i looked at her well but i came to the conclusion at last that she might be rich but would never never be clever and why greatly interested well madame replied in her delicate kind of way she was a little spare woman about my age or more with a hard impudent little face with round eyes a nose which nature had not quite finished off enough at the end a continual grin and a on one side of it which i fancy nature bad never set there but her other man s wife and m st was a mass of wonderful deep red hair a deep deep red like that which wore as lady with this she wore a gown of bright rose pink and her complexion was put on to match it the was striking but hard and brazen and common i happened afterwards to be standing behind her and when i saw that the back of her was of a nice ordinary b brown i thought the woman a fool she ended as if the fate of mrs alfred was sealed from that moment burst out laughing at the description i wonder who she is i never heard of her oh her husband is something in the city she is only a rich woman said the other a little contemptuously	30
a woman to know for one minute heart seemed to turn to water within him he knew that was not well used to the ways of the london world and was not sure that she would have quickness enough to as he put it in his own thoughts choke the brute off but was desperate she had been enduring the s conversation for three quarters of an hour and as we all know necessity is the mother of invention so then she turned round to her unwelcome visitor and said with a little air of dignity which was admirable well i m afraid i cannot offer to take you to call on madame i have not known her very long and i should not like to take so great a liberty with her you see she expects lord in his case it is different h never mind never mind some other time when i come back from the s the old jack i by the bye what did you say your day was and he shot out his large and a little pencil out of his ticket pocket prepared to write down the information for which he asked i do not have a day said gravely no in great surprise then i will take my chance bye er er by by dear boy but had turned to the fire and did not to reply mrs saw him out of the room running back eagerly to ring the bell for judge oh jack she cried who is that dreadful man is he really a great friend of yours a friend of mine the brute i echoed jack in disgust chapter the old jack asks faith and asks firmness jack said mrs why did that man come and call upon me oh the brute calls everywhere answered he wants to keep up the appearance of a man of fashion and as everybody he gets to know him sooner or later he keeps up the supply in this way that is ue himself in the wife everywhere with or without invitation with or without welcome did he come here on the score of being an intimate friend of mine no he said he was a great friend of s quite great with him to use his own words i never heard even speak of him she added oh i i the major knew him to nod to in the club said carelessly but he was not a friend of his i m quite sure bat it s just like his impudence coming to call on you like that if i were you i should tell judge not to let him in again you ll never have him off the if you don t i certainly will tell judge cried indignantly if they had only known those two that the at that very moment was standing just along the street talking to a chance acquaintance i ah i ve been sitting an hour with poor s little widow er er he was saying oh sweet little woman and very pretty too terribly cut up oh er er ta ta old chap however perhaps it was as well for lord s peace of mind that he did not hear the bit of information as it was having dismissed the from his mind he had time to look at poor girl was all in a nervous tremor with the delight of seeing him again and somehow it seemed to her that the old the old jack familiar jack had come back again not lord at all but the old jack whom she had loved all her life he stood before her there holding her hands in his and looking straight down into the clear depths of her lovely eyes and they were lovely eyes in spite of the tears they had shed and of the nerves which had gone in the strain of her s training and the hopeless disappointments of her married life well he asked with a tender half smile at her well well jack do you want to go to call on madame no he answered promptly let us sit down and talk why i have not seen you for a fortnight more than a fortnight why did you stay so long she asked why well for one thing there was a great deal to do for another i i thought it best yes she said she spoke in a tone of not noticing that some of the shadows had fallen over his eyes again well i didn t want to set people talking you see the eyes of the whole world are upon you just now and the less there is to talk about the better by far for you in every way you haven t been so very lonely have you he asked his heart suddenly filled to overflowing with for not having come back sooner she looked slight and frail such a mere child in her garments and with that scrap of white the other man s wife stuff upon her golden head that he felt he had been cruel to stay away so long yes i have been very lonely she said then corrected herself or i should have been if it had not been for dear ne up stairs he echoed not understanding yes madame she said i can t tell you how good and tender and considerate she has been to me in every way jack in every way i don t know what i should have done without her my poor little girl he murmured you don t know what it is jack to wake up in the morning and find oh i feel sometimes as if i should never never get over it do you know	30
i envy judge his calm quiet nerves nothing seems to affect him and yet he is not stupid i have never known any servant so little stupid as judge is but he has such nerves and i envy him and i see they have returned an open verdict he said they seemed as if they could not keep away from the subject of the murder yes she answered he took hold of her hand i want to ask you something he said yes has it never occurred to you that somebody must have murdered your husband why yes jack of course somebody must have done it she answered but how did that person manage to do it my the old jack i child i don t think you were right to withhold that information about but it is too late now well practically too late at least it would make a lot of talk and bring on of us who knew on you most of all but did it i don t think so but why you know that she had the most deadly hatred for poor and that surely was reason enough yes i know but i don t see how it was possible for her to get at him you see jack this house is never left day or night to chance you can t try as you will come in or go out without notice and at that hour it is especially difficult that night the evening clerk there are two you know who take the whole of the waking day between them never left the he swore to it he distinctly remembered everybody who came in or went out and named them as you may recollect a lady on the th floor had had a small dinner party all of well known people and two of them both men unknown to and both men of position left together after came in but they did not have to pass our door at all though they must have passed within a yard or two of it that is to say they came along the wide corridor opposite to this and went down the stairs that had just come up well nobody else went out and only one man came in after two o clock so as i know the other man s wife was not and could not be in the for every separate has been questioned i don t see how i can set the police on her track simply because there is so much evidence against her i feel it would not be just to her but that was not your first reason that is true my first instinct and it was only an instinct jack i couldn t explain it to you but i felt that poor s memory had been degraded enough and i was ashamed to have all the world know how far apart we had been they did know afterwards she added and i learnt too what was all new to me if i had known what would come to light about that other woman i would not perhaps have kept quiet about but afterwards when i was able to think it all out i was glad that i had never mentioned her name because i could not see how she could possibly have had the chance of doing it and yet it was done by actually in the building he persisted that is where the mystery is returned simply but now look here do you know if all the in the house have been looked up yes they have all the lady s maids yes and the and yes of them then there s one more question i want the old jack i to ask you do you know who madame is why jack of course i do she is a pole at least she is the widow of a pole and has lived in for nearly twenty years she fancied that she would like to live in england for a time so came here with letters of introduction from a great friend of mrs s to her why jack she was dining at the one evening since poor s death she knows them all intimately oh you are quite sure why yes i have seen x in madame s rooms and the other day i took her to call there i did not go in but i waited outside in the carriage and saw her go in and come out oh indeed you mustn t have any idea that she is not just what she seems to be no no i don t wish to have only you must know that it is of vital importance to me that it should be found out who committed that murder and although i don t want to say or think anything of any friend of yours or of anybody else that i ought not to think still suspicion falls upon every single person who was known to be in this house that night don t you see that no i i don t think i do she said unwillingly or it seemed so to him at that moment he said desperately my dear don t you see can t you won t you understand that it is all the world to me to have this question finally set at rest j the other wife to all of us in a certain way to all of us he said he was trying so hard to tell her what he felt without actually putting his ideas into words and simple not accustomed to think much for herself cramped in judgment because she had never been given the	30
chance of deciding any momentous question on her own responsibility did not in the least understand him but much more to me than to anyone else i don t see why she returned he could have groaned aloud when he saw how completely she had failed to grasp the situation gathered from his manner something of what was passing through his mind jack she said humbly i know just what you are thinking i know that i m intensely stupid and dull and i can t see just what you mean but indeed jack you must not blame me i am like a person coming into the glaring light after being all my life in total darkness and i can t see anything i thought i knew pretty well but i didn t really i only thought i knew him i ve never had to decide anything for myself since the old days when you were at the palace i have had no voice even in the events of my own life beyond what i would have and that only since i was married i didn t even choose my own wedding gown i went and listened it is true but mother talked and the talked and they settled it between them i had nothing to the old say about it and i wasn t asked whether i wanted to say anything i don t to be like a doll or a toy i hate it but until i have had time to get used to my liberty i m afraid i am good for little else well we won t talk about it any more just yet he said only you would like the truth to be found out wouldn t you why jack of coarse i should she replied that was chiefly what i wanted to know he said with a sigh of relief in one sense he was greatly comforted the last suspicion that it might be possible that to madness hers had been the hand to strike the fatal blow had died from his mind he had looked hard down into the depths of her eyes that day until he had seemed to see into the clear windows of her mind he had only seen innocence there he had seen that she was bewildered puzzled often at sea altogether but as she had said a few moments before it was only the bewilderment of one by an glare of light he had found no guilt there and he himself in spirit for having let the vile thought enter into his mind and still more for having let it find place there even for the little space of a few weeks but all the same in spite of her training had naturally a very quick instinct and she showed it that day by asking a question of him jack she said suddenly what made you ask me all those questions about madame the han s wife oh nothing in particular really nothing it seemed to me that you had some special motive in your mind well ril tell you just what i had in my mind he answered you see just now i suspect everybody more or less and whilst i ve been down in i have thought and thought about it till i ve got the whole mostly always in my mind and i got it into my head that your madame and might be one and the same person now that s the exact truth she stared at him in astonishment why jack she exclaimed was five or six inches taller than madame and she was black quite black madame is ever so fair except for her eyes and they are not really very dark eyes and her hair is white snow white it might be put on yes it might only i have it out for her and made it all into little curls more than once but the black hair might have been a wig yes but they are not a bit alike and their voices are quite different quite quite different i am sure of it then that is enough he said and since she has been so kind and nice to you dear i am uncommonly glad of it and by and by he went away greatly relieved in one sense much exercised in his mind in another for he had wanted to convey to her a conviction the old jack i which come home to him more strongly than anything had ever come before that until he knew for certain who had killed major he would never be able to alter the present merely friendly relations between them or to hint that they should be replaced by ties of nearer affection yet he found it so to say to her don t you understand that you have inherited seven thousand a year under your husband s will and that while his death remains in mystery the whole world might reasonably feel a doubt whether those who most by his death might not have had a hand in bringing it about the world might and probably would say that i have been on the terms of intimacy with you your husband is murdered and i marry you and benefit to the extent of seven thousands a year therefore i must have this mystery cleared up before i ask you to marry me i am not a coward but i am not willing to let even the shadow of such a suspicion fall upon me and my anxiety is as much for the sake of your good name as for my own perhaps more so sea thk other man s wife chapter xxx a plain question a bold and unexpected question will many times surprise a man and him open it must be	30
owned that although the old jack had in a great measure come back again there was still a great gulf fixed between lord and all the sweet friendliness of the old relations between them were gone for a time at least the weeks crept by and wore into months s time as a tenant of mrs s came to an end and she moved her to another flat on the same floor as madame s was on these rooms were larger and brighter in every way and would have been perfectly happy in them if only that barrier of restraint which existed between jack and her had been removed but they seemed to see far less of each other than they had been used to do in poor s time he never came to dinner now never suggested going anywhere with her and although he came in to see her nearly every day it was always about the same time in the afternoon and he never stayed a very long time in fact he was as he believed leading such a very life that not even a plain question mrs could venture to couple his name with that of the young widow whose husband had been so mysteriously murdered so the pleasant spring days wore on london became gay and bright the trees in the and squares put on their tenderest shades of green the smart boxes in front of the smart houses began to be filled with all colours of the rainbow with great moon red rich and gay and people came and went to all manner of clad in the of garments indeed it was a brilliant season and began to feel like some humble in the midst of a great garden party she might have gone out a good deal herself at this time for madame was in a very smart set thanks to her good and would willingly have taken her everywhere apart from this a lovely young widow of twenty three with an income absolutely her own of seven thousand a year does not generally want for friendship and attention in the gay city where feelings are really not very deep where you may see the widow of fifty years and of six weeks going modestly to the opera under the thin disguise of her duty to society and an to intrude her private upon the world at large but who now that she was complete mistress of herself in every way had begun to a very fair will of her own had made up her mind to one thing which was that she would not go out the s wife into society during that season she had promised to go abroad to or in august with madame and had half promised to follow them indeed if the truth be told he was already busily engaged in getting up such symptoms as would sternly a at a g bad during the late part of the summer but meantime was still the other man s wife and the other man poor man that he had been stood between them far more than he had ever had any wish to do he is so complained bitterly to madame one day when that lady had been her with her altered looks and low spirits he has never been the same since he became lord i don t believe the is anything to do with poor s death at all he used to be fond of me yes indeed he did he he told me so a great many men tell married women that remarked madame it is a very safe way of amusing themselves but jack never wanted to amuse himself in that way cried indignantly but listen if you will keep it as a great secret i will tell you all and then you can advise me for i have nobody nobody to help me in any way but you it shall be a perfect secret said madame solemnly a plain question well i will tell you all you know when major exchanged to the th i was then a very unhappy woman he did not ill use me at least not actually although i have had my arms and wrists all bruised and black from his my little one never madame cried indignantly yes it is true replied and one day when jack and i were out together he noticed it and and he asked me to leave and you know the rest and you would not no i was fond of jack you know and he wouldn t have suggested it if he had not thought that had ill used me but really scarcely knew what he was about he he had been drinking i suppose ended madame well and mr jack asked you to end it all by going away with him and of course that was what any man who cared for you would do and when you said no well i think jack was rather glad answered simply fm sure of it only although he told me more than once that he loved me with all his heart he has never told me so since since he might have done i think about it all and i think about it till i scarcely know what to believe sometimes i feel sure that he does care and then again i feel as if i have been mistaken and that he only me sometimes i fancy the other man s wife have too much money and if he were jack i would speak out boldly about it but jack is rich now very rich and my seven thousand a year are a mere nothing compared to his income and then again i fancy that now there is a title to	30
consider and he the last of the name that he may not want to to marry a widow who might have no heir oh i i think and i think till i am nearly out of my senses and at the end of it all i don t know what to think madame took the girl s small soft hand it is very hard on you my little one she said but i would have patience yet i don t think about the matter i k u w lord loves you with all his heart how do you know i have seen him watch you about the room i have seen him turn so eagerly to the door when we have met here and you have not yet come to us i have seen a thousand signs good enough to tell me exactly what he feels for you and i say to you little one only have a little patience and all will be well by and by so with what patience she could muster set herself to the task of waiting it was but weary work and before many days had gone by madame who had kept her eyes open made up her mind that she would take the matter into her own hands and put uncertainty to an end once for all a plain question now madame like all persons who have travelled much and lived in many countries was a woman who did not hesitate long after she had once made up her mind therefore she did not hesitate very long at this juncture having decided to act she very soon found a way of having a little private talk to lord in fact the very next time she met him at mrs s she found an opportunity of saying to him i particularly want to have half an hour s quiet talk with you lord certainly madame he replied when shall i i will go now will you come in to my room when you take leave of the little one certainly i am at your service he said courteously nay it is not for my service exactly she said smiling at him he smiled too and then who had been to fetch the majestic came back again and very soon madame herself away yes i must go dear child she said when began a feeble protest against her going so soon i am dining out and have something to do before then she kissed her and patted her cheek gave her hand to lord and also a meaning look as he held open the door and presently that is after half an hour or so jack also took his leave and instead of turning down the stairs never the s wife went to the lift or the top of the stairs with him as she used to do he went on and rang at madame s bell he was shown into her a pleasant little room with plenty of flowers and plants about it and with a tiny at one end come in here she said holding out her band to him we shall be less likely to be disturbed than in the other rooms i find my friends have a way of coming unexpectedly and wishing to write a note to me lord followed her into the room and she closed the door behind them we shall be quite undisturbed here she said and now i you are wondering why i asked you to come up here a little he answered smiling ah yes well i am going to ask you a very plain question perhaps what you will think a very impertinent question but i am almost an old woman lord and i hope you will forgive me if i seem either impertinent or but as you must know i take a very great and deep interest in our dear little friend mrs and i want you to tell me in the confidence whether you have any strong feeling for her certainly i have he replied then let me tell you said madame looking straight at him that you are making her very unhappy very unhappy indeed a straightforward answer i hope not he began when the lady interrupted him lord she said laying her hand on his arm i beg you to answer me plainly what is it that has come between you chapter a straightforward answer truth needs not many words when madame put that very plain question to lord he gave a start and looked at her as if to ask the meaning of her words and madame who was a woman of quick caught the meaning of the look and answered it at once you would ask me what i mean she said of course that is very natural believe me in the first place i beg when i say that i have no curiosity on the subject whatever i am putting myself forward wholly and solely for my dear little friend s welfare i have thought always that you were exceedingly fond of her and i know that she likes you not a little bat something has come between you something which keeps you from speaking out and asking her to become your wife is it not so yes he said that is so then she returned i want to the other man s wife know what it is because it is possible that i might be able to help you over it well madame he said i will tell you just how i am situated but first shall we not sit down it is a pity to keep a lady standing so long that is better well madame to begin at the beginning and to tell you as you wish precisely all about it and i ought to have been	30
married when she was married to major i have already gathered that she said but her mother kept us apart mothers have sometimes a disagreeable way of interfering in their daughters love affairs and the marriages they make do not always turn out the best that could have been brought about in this case well major is dead and i don t want to speak against a dead man but for once i am bound to say that a more brute never lived in the first place he was more than twenty years older than in the second he was a hard drunken bully he was never faithful to her he thought nothing of his best friend out of his grave to serve as a blind to his poor little innocent why for weeks down at he was literally hunted down by some foreign woman who had a grudge against him aye and he was hunted out of the service too for she got entrance into the house at last their hut you know and that frightened him so that he sent in his papers and came to london to lose himself and that woman s name was a answer he answered has mentioned her to me said madame calmly she told you about her he exclaimed she told me nothing she only asked me one day before major was killed if i had ever met or heard of such a person and you had not i told her i had never heard of as a madame replied well go on with your story please i am deeply interested well he continued i don t say that ever actually struck her or beat her not when he was sober that is but he thought nothing of catching hold of her little delicate wrists with his brutal fingers and them till they were black with i ve seen them so myself and though she tried hard to pass it off declared he only had caught at her to steady and all the rest i ve been half more than once madame and would have given half my fortune to take him outside and give him a jolly good but you can t do that sort of thing in the service your oath prevents it and besides for her sake i had to bottle up all i felt and force myself to be decently civil to the brute she wouldn t leave him not for his sake of course but because she had been brought up in that sphere of life in which that kind of becomes and although i had asked her to go and would have gone at any moment that she chose yet i did not the other man s wife press it i didn t the woman i loved to go wrong do you see well one fine morning to everybody s horror this man is found dead with a knife in his back and his widow still little more than a child comes into a large fortune absolutely at her own disposal at the same time his death is apparently in mystery and as likely as not the mystery will never be solved now do you not see how i am placed no i don t replied madame unless you think that the child killed him herself and with the usual selfishness of a man you have a lurking fear that she might have a knife for you also no i did not think of that he said then you did suspect her echoed madame quickly lord looked up it s no use trying to deceive you madame he said that thought did occur to me she was so strange and and i am ashamed even to remember it of myself please don t talk about it any more i shall never think of it again if i can help it but what then cried madame is it that still stands between you for a moment he sat looking into the fire madame he said while this murder remains everybody who had any connection with the dead man is liable to suspicion and who do you think is so liable to the suspicion a straightforward answer of being interested in his death as i if i were to marry to morrow and she ever got an idea into her and remember it might suggest itself or be suggested to her at any moment that had killed him i should be perfectly powerless to defend myself to her or to put the idea out of her mind but you know where you were at that time she cried yes know where i was but as a matter of fact i was not at hall i got so sick of the gloom and grandeur and loneliness that i went into dined did a theatre and slept at an hotel they might know me they might not i got back to hall just in time to have got back from london now do you understand all that i wonder at is that they didn t haul me up at once and charge me with the murder they did not do that because they had followed your movements down to and back again with tolerable accuracy and because you were here and would certainly have been identified had you passed in or out somebody must have got in or out without being seen that is unless it was done by within the building he answered yes that is so then your great object is to find out who killed major it is and you don t mean to marry her until you do know i the wife tbat is so madame i can t marry her until this hideous possibility is done away with he cried lord she said	30
have you any idea in your own mind as to ho did it yes who was that person he hesitated a moment oh i don t think i ought to mention a name when the matter is so serious as murder it isn t ir i may be utterly wrong it will be perfectly safe with me she said calmly i give you my word of honour that i will never that name she held out her hand as an earnest of good ith and he took it for a moment in his own i think he said rather unwillingly that the woman did it you see she had every reason to do him a harm at least by her general conduct it would seem so he had the most mortal and abject fear of her and i feel pretty sure that she meant doing for him sooner or later and that he knew it then why did you not set the police on her track madame i would have done so i wanted to do it but would not hear of it i she was so convinced that the evidence against her was sa overwhelming that she wouldn t have a chance of getting off and as it couldn t have been possible for her to get in or out without being seen it would not be fair a answer to set the police after her but she did it madame all the same the dear child murmured madame under her breath well after a short silence lord you are a gentleman and a man of honour i may speak to you quite safely madame i he cried indignantly she smiled a little yes i know i know all about that but i should like to have your assurance if you do not mind i give you my sacred word of honour madame he said instantly that you may speak to me with perfect safety and nothing would tempt you to break that promise she asked nothing he answered not if my life should pay the good then lord stay she stopped short and held up a warning finger then went to the door and opened it gently made sure that no one was listening came back to her chair and placed it close beside his so that she could speak to him in a whisper lord she said tell you who killed major man s wife chapter comes fairer to light been long hidden it is no exaggeration to say that lord jumped nearly off his chair when those impressive words left madame s lips madame he cried yes yes sit still she said soothingly there is no need to be so startled about it you want to know do you not why yes of course he stammered but but you did not think that i knew anything about it she said looking at him with her calm brown eyes and a gravely expression on her face well now am i to go on she asked certainly if you please he replied then she said speaking in the same quiet and even tone i will put an end to your anxiety at once without spinning my story out killed major for some minutes neither of them spoke in fact turned and stared at her his lips apart his eyes in which as yet there was no room for any other expression full of unutterable amazement could it be possible that this this high i bred elderly lady with her clear out regular features her snow white baby curls her quiet elegant clothes her smooth and dainty hands could be the of major oh i it was preposterous he was dreaming or mad or possibly drunk i he jumped up from his chair and walked to the window he pinched himself hard to find out if he was awake or dreaming he felt his face ho laid his warm palms against the cold panes of glass in the window and then he went back to his seat again madame he said at last did i hear you aright just now i think you did she said quietly that you you killed why not don t you think that holding out her firm white hand looks as if it could kill a man it looks as if it could do anything he answered promptly but you don t look as if you could do that or anything like that i don t believe you madame you are trying to set my mind at rest and make things easy for my dear little sweetheart with a gesture in the direction of s rooms i swear to you said madame solemnly that i was the woman who killed but why what reason had you he asked he was awed by her manner but he still scarcely believed it in spite of her positive words i had the best of reasons gravely we have been waiting for that man s life for years for years s toe s wife bat are not he cried in ment no i am not but is my good god i he exclaimed back in his chair then was right he said that he die b the of a woman before he was fifty yes and it was my sister who told him bo bat stay i will begin from the very beginning i will conceal nothing from yon and then i think even your cold english ideas of justice will me and justify me for what i have done first i must tell you that i am a i thought yoa were a pole he my husband was a pole i was bom in italy ot a pore stock my mother died when	30
was or rather not knowing that other life of his you will die by the hand of a woman before you are fifty by jove yes broke in i remember his telling us that the very first day that spotted him in he was completely knocked over by the sight of her ah i well it was odd but we never found out how he learnt that she was s sister stay of course he must have recognized her at the time and fancied himself perfectly secure in his own personality well well she found him out at last but not until this very summer at she tried hard to get hold of him there but he knew that he need expect no mercy from her and he was always on the watch she could not succeed in getting near him at least significantly not near enough so she not wishing to waste more time sent for me to come to her in london she had found him out in his fancied safety here i was by then a widow of five years and the of my sister did not know me so i came here i had the best for i move in the best society in i am rich and personally an attractive woman i waited my time patiently and but there what is the use of talking about it you know all the rest all the world knows it so i i she was perfectly unmoved she sat erect and dignified in her large arm chair her firm white hands resting idly on the arms thereof her white curls and fine cut face thrown out in relief by the tall back of carved oak behind her lord gazed at her in profound amazement i cannot believe it he burst out at length but you may believe it it is absolutely true said madame quietly so you murdered and hush i we do not call such an act by so ugly a name in she interrupted i my sister yes say rather that i did a service to the whole world when i removed that wretch from the face of the earth see the kindness it was to his poor little wife wife his little slave i should say i set her free and if she knew the truth she ought to bless my name for ever you also lord you can never thank me sufficiently for the service that i have rendered you i must confess that at this point lord began to wish himself safely out of the room he scratched his head in perplexity he looked at her doubtfully yes i see what you would say she said quite placidly you english look at these matters in a light you will not give me up to your very justice because you have given me your word of honour that you would respect my confidence and you are the kind of englishman who keeps his word at all but s the other b wife you won t let my little friend whom i have set free from a monster who was breaking her heart come and see me again you will regard me during all the rest of your life as a and were i to discuss the subject with you for fifty years i should never be able to make you see me in the same light as i see myself that is merely an instrument of justice as much justified in my act as your judge is when he the sentence of death upon a convicted murderer well well lord i have loved your little friend very dearly and very truly and during all the rest of my life which i shall probably spend in the city that i love best i shall feel better and happier for having known her and for knowing as i do that i have been the means of turning her gloom into sunlight and now there is one thing i want to ask of you don t tell her this she has been brought up in the english way she would look upon me with horror i could not bear that even in my thoughts madame i promise you she shall never learn it from me he said solemnly stay you shall see that i can be a real friend as i can be a real enemy if ever that thought comes into her mind that you had to do with s death then you have my full permission to tell her all i thank you he said and now do you go as i told i am dining out bye no don t shake hands with me unless you like i shall not be for one moment he hesitated then he bent and kissed her hand courteously madame he said i confess i do not think as you do but it is not my place to judge a national custom i thank you for your confidence and i will respect it something very like tears came into her eyes i shall go back to next week i should like to see her once before i go her faltering voice touched him instantly i shall not say a word to prevent it he said though afterwards afterwards there can be no afterwards she cried almost fiercely go the blessed saints protect you both bye i it was just a year and a week after had come to his end a group of men were standing about the hearth in the of a club in pall listening to the remarks of a large awkward man with very yellow gloves and	30
very small eyes ah he was saying i only got here last night went for a over to and sort of farewell y know before i lay myself down at the feet of the sweetest little widow that ever lived by the bye it s just a year ago to the very week isn t it do you mean mrs the other han s of what other should i mean oh but haven t you heard heard what i why she s the other man s wife home cried she aad were married this morning i of works by john strange winter the author to whom we owe the most and faithful rendering ever yet given of the character of the soldier mb in the cavalry life legends baby la in quarters on march pluck army society gossip s secret that i i s husband a siege baby of a children beautiful jim my poor dick harvest a little fool buttons mrs bob forget court he went for a soldier the other man s wife good bye the painter works by john ge winter army society life in a town in one vol yo cloth bs boards the of the book lies in its sketches of life in a garrison town which are clever it is pretty clear that mr winter draws from life st july a s this last work is named army society and very amusing the life like sketches are for go fun and originality new author has no rival in his particular line weekly f june the pictures of life in a garrison town are the are particularly good crisp to the point they leave nothing to add nothing to altogether the volume is full of interest lively and humorous and quite equal to the author s other charming books literary world july nd we know of no books of military life which can compare with mr winter s for a combination of perfect and romantic the county august th army society is a series of smart sketches full of fun and point that may be accounted among some of the best work which john strange winter has yet written review june th garrison gossip gathered in a to in one vol crown vo cloth d also picture boards garrison rank with cavalry life and the various other books with which mr winter has so agreeably our leisure r saturday review april nd the novel fully the reputation its author has been fortunate enough to gain in a special line of his own tt the author no time he begins to be lively at once and having begun he does not allow himself even a momentary lapse into academy march l th the pages sparkle with good things as heretofore good stories men harmless and nothing is wanting of the old style which is so irresistibly connected with this author review march th the as its title suggests is made up of gossip but if all gossip were as entertaining the race of would be extinct march ith p v white co street strand a works by john e winter cloth d a each a siege baby either in jest or earnest this like all its is a pleasant book for the winter fireside and the arm chair daily telegraph november this collection of tales will john strange winter s already high reputation as a writer of short stories it is to make distinctions where all are good but i must make special mention of a siege baby which is a dramatic and pathetic tale of the indian lady t october ta beautiful jim i i beautiful jim is as fresh and engaging a work as this charming writer has produced while the structure of its plot has a peculiar strength which adds much to the effect of the story as a whole the book deserves to be widely read and will its author s reputation september th there is manly frankness genuine feeling and in this story st james october th it is a most satisfactory book for an idle hour the characters walk and talk in a natural manner vanity fair december m rs bo b ever since the days when legends and cavalry life first appeared any book bearing the name of john strange winter has been welcome mrs bob will not disappoint the lovers of that most of whose name was daily news january l h such things are of course matters of taste but to our mind the pen of john strange winter has never produced anything approaching in point of excellence the story of mrs bob december l t it will serve to keep the author s readers in a state of thrilling excitement from start to finish morning post december th mrs bob is as full of go and sparkle as any of its the book is rail of the smart things which the author knows so well how to put into the mouths of her characters court december th f y white co street strand works by john ge winter crown r la u d in quarters quarters ig one of those rattling tales of soldiers life which the hare learned to thoroughly appreciate the december thy will be with pleasure by the entire english speaking public in quarters is simply a mighty shilling s worth d amusement times december on march this short story is by mr winter s customary truth in detail humour and pathos academy j april th by on march mr j b winter has added another little em to his well known store of sketches the story is written with humour and a deal of feeling army and navy march secret in s secret mr	30
winter has supplied a to the to be forgotten baby the story is gracefully and told john bull december th s secret with children s character and their influence on men of the world in a manner which cannot be too highly spoken of telegraph november th that this charming little book is bright and and has the ring of supreme truth about it vanity fair may ut s husband to say that the little story in brightness and humour accompanied by an of genuine feeling is another way of saying that it is written by john strange winter county gentleman november th the dialogue is brisk and clever and the is as crisp as when baby first took the reading public by storm m i observer october children healthy and pure without the least bit tiresome or mar my l th pearl and are two of the most delightful girls in fiction next to in fact the whole book is charming and one wonders how so much that is can be compressed into such small space g od herald august p v white co street strand works by john ge winter small to each cloth li d each my poor dick it is always with pleasure that we take up a story written by this gifted author we are certain to find something worth reading my poor dick is no exception to the it is an little tale but is worked out in an extremely sympathetic manner november of a thb of one of the brightest tales of the season s is written from a humorous point of yet here as many a true word is spoken in jest morning february a it is a capital little book of its sort and one to be read vanity fair march t a little fool it would scarcely be possible to write a more charming than a little fool by the author of baby every page in the book is entertaining academy th buttons the story is told while many of the characters are but sketches they are touched with a light hand and are fresh and the whole is bright and healthy if short it is undoubtedly sweet and the best his pen has given us since baby punch november nd court it its readers to ae ain for which they will be profoundly thankful as for the freshness good spirits and bright humour which the tale throughout no reader of this delightful will be disappointed to learn that the of military men its chief interest july th he went for a there is thank heaven i no occasion for nasty sarcastic comment on the author of soldiers and children children soldiers she knows both classes and can make them talk as they talk and act as they act no such great matter says somebody then let somebody go not for a soldier but for a and see how often it is done in the academy november ind f y white co street s works by john winter the other man s wife in one vol cloth b d this if one of the best if not the yet produced by this popular writer the plot is highly mid the interest sustained the pathos which crops up here and there is genuine and the love scenes are most delicately handled the tender never descend to common place or sentiment the male characters are drawn the first is particularly good but the second is still better there is a sparkle and a dash in the composition that makes every chapter tell public opinion march th there can be but one opinion as to the ability of john strange winter to interest her readers and her new story the other man s wife is a bright bit of work with a delightful hero and a sweet heroine despite the fact that she almost lets her heart get the better of her duty to a brute the author is simply true to life in her portrait of the sorely tried wife of a major old enough to be her father and in carrying out her practice of refusing to paint the heroine in colours so delicate and that they have no resemblance to the human woman of life she does not forget to teach the entirely wholesome lesson that while a woman of reputation is a beautiful thing a woman of life is more beautiful still journal march it is safe to say that john strange winter s reputation will lose nothing from the publication of this novel whereof the tone is excellent and the literary is finished world march f a a capital novel all over is the other man s wife by john strange winter as in her previous works so in this the gifted catches hold of the reader s attention in the very first pa e and never lets go it until the last pa e is turned the writing too is vigorous and the strong will have to lay in an large stock of the book as it is sure to be in great demand all through the spring and summer people march it is written with life and spirit is full of interesting situations and it shows the author to be possessed of a keen and observant mind mail the other man s wife shows that the author has not lost her gift of simple pathos and smooth an well written story f y white street strand works by j strange winter small crown yo paper is cloth is cl each good bye good bye the latest of john strange winter s many graceful and genial bears testimony alike to the imagination and ingenuity of that gifted and writer g ood bye is a charming and sympathetic story i	30
a good feature in her face excepting her blazing eyes her eyes too were blue but it was the blue of the ocean on a stormy day not deep and blue and as an ocean sometimes looks under a summer sun but something between blue and grey and very deep both in expression and in tone she was pale and her hair was of a very dark chestnut brown her and eyebrows were black as night i do not know wherein the great charm of her face lay unless it was in the eyes and in a somewhat mouth a mouth that she always seemed to be trying to subdue into calm and serious lines but which as often persisted in parting in a brilliant a woman ing smile but whatever the cause on that evening she carried off all the honours and lived every moment of the time we ought not to have let margaret come down to night said mrs uneasily to her husband as she watched her young niece go past them on the arm of a tall soldier one of those in the garrison she has simply by really she will have to go back to school again nonsense said the sensible old doctor nonsense my dear every woman that knows how and every woman ought to know how you are a nice one to find fault with your niece for why madam you were scarcely older than margaret when i first knew you and you ten times as hard as this little girl can do did i said the doctor s wife in a different tone did you hear that h m yes madam you did and what was more you nearly broke my heart but that was altogether another thing oh no i didn t said she smiling and in the smile she forgot that margaret was with a desperation which was at least five years too old for her age to all practical and purposes mrs might just as well have introduced her younger niece at the same time as her sister somehow from the evening of the ball margaret north never went back into the obscurity of school life again and for three years she positively ruled the old city of with the of an queen nobody knew why because really when you came to look at her margaret was not pretty much less a beauty but she was very what the younger men called a gay thing who took the pleasure of the moment as it came and let the one which had gone by die without regret and the one which was to come come without in any way preparing for it towards the end of the three years mary north married she married fairly well a man in the service to whom she was devoted i think was a little surprised because she was so quiet so or no scarcely for that word something hidden behind i should rather say that she was placid and tliat she was such an sort of girl that it was rather a surprise to margaret society when it was announced that she was shortly going to be married to an officer of a regiment then occupying the cavalry and in due course of time the wedding came oflf by mary s wish the wedding was rather quiet her sister margaret and were her sole and within three months the newly married couple sailed for about this time accepted an invitation to go on a very long tour and margaret remained at home in the old house the only young thing that it contained just at that time was rather gay there were various balls going on six or seven within the fortnight a young indian prince had come down to stay in the neighbourhood and was made a great deal of especially by the young ladies of whom by the bye margaret north was not one still he was a prince and everybody who considered themselves anybody outside of the town and everybody who considered themselves anybody inside the town made some or other in his honour and margaret north was practically the queen of every thing now it happened about this time that margaret was the of the most ardent and devoted attention from one of the officers of the regiment which had not long been in the cavalry at this man had everything to recommend him he was exceedingly a fine big well grown man was young and fairly well off and had come of very good people and margaret north was the star of his existence she encouraged him oh yes she with him desperately she saved her best dances she let him take her into supper she sat out squares under or in or any other dimly lighted recess that came to hand she met him quite by accident of course in the shady of the beautiful old cathedral with its wonderful arches and its wealth of fine old stained glass windows commonly known as the parish by the good people of for myself i do not know of any combination that makes a genuine so well worth indulging in as a combination of old arches and early english coloured windows cathedral was singularly adapted for that b a woman particular pursuit and the young people of the town did not as a rule neglect the opportunities which the beautiful old afforded them but somehow captain never got any further with margaret north she was gay and friendly she openly chose him as her special she desperately with him she gave him every opportunity seemingly of becoming her serious lover yet in spite of all she contrived o keep him very effectually at arm s length my dear said mrs one day to her i think captain is very much in love with you oh no not in love	30
indifferent information that she was going out for a turn and could she do anything for her in the the town mrs never suspected for a moment that in reality she was going to meet the big prince now in such a city as meeting places are many there is for instance the broad avenue of horse which leads in the direction of the bishop s palace a sort of semi private walk between the road and the river only used by there are the ancient walls of with their quaint towers and here and there deep which form pleasant for the weary by the walls of are airy and clean and give foot passengers a fine opportunity of breathing air than they can get in the narrow and streets but few people use them they are indeed almost deserted a few children going to and from school and an occasional pair of lovers are almost the only people who are ever to be seen upon these quaint and walks then there are the outer courts of the parish the terrace walk by the river and also the winter garden with its many glass houses and its terrace walks its summer houses and of trees and shrubs oh i assure you in there were plenty of places where such a couple as prince and margaret north could meet and enjoy each other s society with out the rest of the world being much the wiser chapter ii the if there he anything you highly value or tenderly love estimate at the same time its true nature it happened one morning that margaret north dressed in a new red frock her warm coat and with a little red velvet upon the rebellious masses of her chestnut hair went out of the old house in the close crossed the cathedral yard and disappeared by the little which led into one of the of the cathedral a woman she was not the first at the out of the gloom cast by a tall pillar prince stepped to meet her you are late my dearest he said tenderly so you see it had already come about i could not help it paul she replied i really could not help it i was kept at the last minute by a letter that wanted me to post for her you are not vexed at having to wait are you vexed no how could i be it is my privilege to wait for you but tell me it is so bitterly cold this morning and inclined to rain too shall we stay here by the stove instead of seeking the outside yes i think we had better stay here she replied and besides it is so dark in this corner that nobody will notice us or see who we are and also he added we can talk in comfort we can discuss everything everything echoed margaret in rather a faint voice you are nervous he remarked drawing her down on to the low stone bench which ran entirely round the sit here in the shadow of the stove you will soon be warm you are quite cold dearest why are you trembling so little one you are not afraid of me no i am not afraid of you exactly she answered but you are afraid of me that is wrong you should not be so i would not hurt a hair of your head i don t think you would i hope not she returned but i will be frank with you paul i do not like this continual concealment this and getting away into corners i have not been used to it what i have done in the past has been done in the face of the whole world my little have all been above board and now when i am more in earnest than i have ever been before in my life i have to do things that i would have blushed to do at any other time and for any other man in the world drew her hands close to him my dear he said in a voice of much patience when i told you first that i loved you did i not explain to you that my circumstances are totally different to those of an englishman who is absolutely his own master we and yet what a mockery it is for me to call myself a russian we poles are not our own masters the is the upon which every nobleman in the russian the empire turns move and has his being i am not free to go to your uncle in the usual manner of an englishman and to ask him for your hand i could not do that without certain if we go now to we can be married privately there at the russian and after two years that marriage can be at but i may not publicly marry an english subject an alien without a great many which would considerable loss of time an immense of money and a great many tedious both to and to me but how then are you able to marry me privately she asked because you will always find with nations where great formality is necessary to accomplish a marriage contract that some is given by which the parties may avoid the necessary and also the delay of the more formal arrangements oh i see she said but she spoke rather doubtfully and in truth did not see at all you told me not many days ago he continued jou see i have been thinking out all our plans and trying to arrange for the best you told me a few days ago that an old of yours lived in no in said margaret it is the same thing at least as far as our purpose is concerned you can easily arrange to go out and	30
pay her a long visit but is not she exclaimed you can tell your people that she has moved from but supposing she should write to me you would write to her from naturally she will not write to you in england when she has your address in that will be quite safe your people will not worry about you so long as you write once a week or so and tell them of your doings it is not as if they were your own father and mother they will believe you to be perfectly safe with this german lady they will know nothing and need know nothing until the proper times comes for revealing the marriage now i have not said anywhere that margaret north was a clever girl a more really clever girl than she would have seen the difficulties and dangers of this scheme a woman she on the contrary lent herself in a great measure to it eventually that is after some further persuasion from prince she paved the way for going out to in order to pay a long promised visit to her old who was married to a highly respectable and lived at in she with a little stumbling it must be admitted told the necessary in order to make her visit to fit in with her visit to her old and she succeeded so well that at last she turned her back as she believed for ever upon the old city of where she had been so happy and where truly she had it for several years it was without a single sigh of regret that she did so she was like a being possessed the day before her departure she wandered round to every spot in the old city and its that had once had any interest for her she bade farewell to everybody including captain and all with smiling lips and dancing eye like a gay going home for the holidays with captain indeed she had something approaching to a scene you have never let me speak to you he said that last afternoon having her up into a corner of mrs s inner drawing room you have never let me speak to you before and you are going away now and perhaps when you come back again i shall have got my marching orders you have never let me speak to you and so i am going to speak now well i wish you wouldn t she said with admirable indifference i you do but i simply must why are you going away because i am tired of she replied but why are you tired of you have had a very good time here it is a very jolly place one of the best quarters i was ever in yes i know but i want a change i have been here for three years nearly four years in fact and i have not been anywhere excepting just to go to town for a few days or to or for a few days it is not enough i want a complete change of scene and everything into the unknown but don t you give a thought to the poor devils you leave behind he asked rather bitterly no she replied no they can look very comfortably after themselves i do not flatter myself captain that i shall be missed you will be much missed by one person at all events he answered miss north margaret i may call you margaret t i do you think you will feel any less hard hearted when you do come back again oh i i shall it is wonderful how a little abroad makes one feel that the whole world is delightful and everybody charming when one comes home again can you give me no hope he asked in a graver tone oh yes hope is very good for the soul she replied i don t mind your hoping but won t you promise no i can promise nothing i don t want to go away by any promises i may be quite different when i come back again who can tell but no promises no no things are better as they are when i am gone you will forget me in a few weeks you will have found somebody much than i another will come along and you will forget me for her it is best not to have any promises i don t think you are kind said rather hoarsely no perhaps i am cruel to be kind at all events captain if you are here when i come back again which is more than doubtful and if you are in the same mind and if i am in a different mind then perhaps things will be different that means that you don t care a toss for me not as you deserve to be cared for she said suddenly turning grave you are everything that is delightful in a man i admire you more than words can tell i like you i respect you but i don t love you captain and it would not be fair of me to make you promises when i have no love to give you and would probably never carry them out but you may change ah yes i may change who knows but what i may or may not do or what you may or may not do we a woman must of necessity leave to the future you know you may change too will you me one question he said not to notice her suggestion if i can you don t love another be said in a kind of way oh that would be giving myself away to you she cried we will leave that question it is one that i do not think it fair to discuss with anyone in a moment she had gone back into the	30
he asked in caressing tones oh yes yes in a measure yes but if one has to pay a woman a price for happiness one may as well pay one that is pleasant or at least one that is not unpleasant now painting i should have liked to study but painting in he remarked in an amused tone no i am afraid that is too thin even for english people to swallow stay i have it you spoke but a few words of german when you came over here say that you are enchanted with the language it will not be exactly true but that won t matter say that you are enchanted with the language and that you would like to stay here for at least a year so as to acquire a thorough knowledge of it that is reasonable and enough you already speak french so well that it is only fitting and proper you should learn to speak german with equal therefore margaret wrote back saying that she had felt so much better and stronger for her change to that she would much prefer not to return at present to england and that she had arranged that she should stay with for as long a time as she liked for a payment at the rate of a hundred a year she also said that the liked having her there and that she intended to go in for a serious study of the german language the bait took the not being a suspicious people never thought of suspecting that their niece was anything but what she appeared to be mrs did indeed say to her husband that it was a queer fancy for a girl who had been so eager to leave school to be willing to take up a life which must mean little less than returning to her school days but she said of course with she is as safe and will be as well looked after as if she were with us and perhaps a little better said the doctor with a twinkle in his eye and perhaps a little better mrs admitted perhaps a little better i know that i am not as good a as some women well my dear be that as it may said the doctor kindly i must say that i feel very pleased with margaret for showing us so plainly that she is something different to the ordinary who has no other ideas except that of walking up and down st thomas s street and getting herself married i know perhaps i the veil was rent more of the lady of all ages than anybody else either in or out of the town and i must say a more empty headed lot than the of this city it would be difficult to find anywhere they are half educated in the first instance and very badly brought up too indeed the whole system is bad instead of sending a girl away into a fresh atmosphere she is sent to a in the town and has just too much liberty she gets a of an education and then she is introduced into what they call society that is to say into society such as it is and then begins the only serious quest of her life the hunt for a husband if she can just read and write and doesn t put her knife into her mouth if she speaks tolerable english and can a little on the piano that is bait enough to catch a husband as a rule and when she has caught him poor devil what is she good for to bear my dear to bear babies and when she has got em a pretty thing she is then i assure you in the course of my in this city i come across more feminine than would be believed or thought possible if i were to put it honestly down in black and white for instance last week as you know i was called in to poor s daughter only girl smart girl used to be her father s pride been pretty well and sat upon since his death but a smart girl for all that i found her very ill desperately ill packed her off to bed told em to get in a nurse they mother said she would nurse her the girl said to me doctor get me a nurse i said yes my dear i will get you a nurse and how long do you think i was trying to make that girl s mother that her daughter was in for a big thing in the way of illness three quarters of an hour and she about leaving her to strangers and such rot good heavens i said to her here are you mrs with a big case of illness in your house and you not a strong woman with no knowledge of nursing i remember mrs s nursing of old and i tell you no one person can do everything that your daughter will require therefore if you don t get a nurse i shall not continue the case and i shall make it pretty well understood in why i have thrown the case over if i have to do so well she gave in then a woman she said she would get a nurse that she only wanted to do the best for her darling and a lot more of that kind and the next day she told me that she had not been able to hear of a nurse which was true enough with all over the town i she really was not able to get one then i asked what my patient had had in the way of support she gave me a list as long as my arm ending with beef tea something made me ask the patient herself whether she	30
past i have spun this of lies for your sake yet i cannot go on in this way oh i have been all these months trusting in your honour believing in your good faith believing that your word was your bond can it be possible that now after all my blind faith and belief in you that you can deny me the satisfaction which your honour owes to mine you put it very he said with a restrained air i have been but you must have known she burst out yes i have been expecting some such scene as this believe me my dear margaret that you are far happier as than you could possibly be as the princess believe me that there is nothing to gain by all that is if you decide to allow things to remain as they are i swear to you on my most sacred word of honour given to you not as prince but as your husband that i will never as long as i am alive desert you but while i am ready to give everything i expect something in return and if it is a sacrifice for you though having no children i hardly see how it can be to continue this life at least for the present then it is a sacrifice which i demand of your love then said she it is a sacrifice which i will never make i trusted you i believed in you i loved you how i have loved you perhaps you will never be able to understand but to a woman of my position in england it is not a light thing to do what i have done by way of proving my love for you i told you that i would bear this life for two years i trusted to your honour that you would fulfil your promises a woman to me when the end of the two years came if you love me which of late i have somewhat doubted you will be only too glad either to fulfil your promise or to give me some good and sufficient reason why you are not able to do so though after what has passed i should expect more substantial proof than your mere word if you are not prepared to carry out your original promises we will part at once as the last words fell from her lips he half rose in his chair his face livid his lips trembling his whole person of intense passion you cannot mean that he burst out i not only can but i most assuredly do no not another step nearer to me i have listened before to your of love and i know exactly what they are worth i believe she said suddenly that you cannot take me to you are going to the ball to night then do not return here let me have the night to think it over to think over all that you have told me to get used to the blow which you have dealt me please not another word he sprang up from his chair and barred her way as she was about to leave the room margaret he said you cannot mean it you cannot really mean that you would that you could after all we have been to each other cast me adrift that you could bring yourself to leave me yes she said looking at him with flaming eyes that it is to be all over you have your alternative he fell back why should you mind she went on scornfully you have not been the same to me of late you know that you have changed visibly i have felt it for months past why then try to drag on a love that is dying if not already dead it is not dead he cried with a burst of passion i been i admit it i own it but it has been the difference of fear not of weariness or of change i have been afraid for months past that this question would rise between us don t you understand cannot you see that i nothing to be altered margaret won t you believe that if i could take you to to morrow and h a gleam of light present you to my imperial master as my most loved and honoured wife i would do so my god how gladly how proudly how but i no more than any other man in this world can accomplish the impossible that is all that my altered manner has been it has been the alteration of any alteration or change not the change of dying love i love you as i have never loved any other woman in my life as i shall never love any other woman to my dying day for you i would sacrifice everything for your sake i have lived this quiet retired life so different to my own solely and for no other reason than to save your good name don t throw me aside without thought don t throw away a love that is greater than any love that could be offered to you in all the world don t wreck my whole life for the sake of a mere form for the sake of a merely official position oh margaret think what you are about to do think what you are about to throw away but said she is it impossible that you can our marriage at it is quite impossible he replied then said she i will think it over do not come to me for three days remember for me it is a question of cutting myself adrift for ever from everything that has constituted my life heretofore up to this day i have believed myself to be secure in your protection i have believed in you although mind i saw the difference in you	30
but from this time forward you and i must go on a new basis we shall not be the same we shall never be the same as we have been before and i cannot go into this new life without thinking it all out i see now what you have thought that i should drift and drift and drift until i was so of the present that i would let the future take care of itself that may be the way with your russian women with us or at all events with me it is not quite the same i must think before i do this thing and now go to your ball i will see you in three days from now it was the first time that she had ever taken that tone with him up to that evening his had been the master spirit he had directed and arranged and decided everything she had had no will but his she had been to all outward seeming as as s clay in his hands a woman but now in a moment their positions were entirely reversed he was the he waited for her decision by a mighty effort prince pulled himself together i have been this all along he said in a suppressed voice i cannot blame you for the view that you take of our situation but margaret i think that you will admit that i have loved you and i know that during the last few weeks you have thought that i was changing why i could not change if i wished to do so it is not a matter within my own control i am yours body and soul for all time take me or leave me pity the fate which me the circumstances over which partly owing to my i have no control you may leave me i am still the same yours always oh no i cannot bear to think of such a thing even for a moment still even if that dire calamity should come upon me and you should decide to part from me i shall be yours just the same take me or leave me paul is your slave for ever she was more touched than words could express it was only by the most violent effort of self control that she restrained herself from flying into his arms and flinging herself upon his breast that she could restrain herself from crying i care nothing for name fame honour or kin only so long as you love me will the sun continue to have any light or warmth for me but she did restrain herself you must leave me now she said simply i have been so taken by surprise i so little expected that this blow was likely to fall upon me that i am not in any way prepared to discuss it further go to your ball come to me in three days from now and you will promise me one thing he asked in a shaking voice yes if i can that you will let the remembrance of our love temper your justice with mercy i will try she answered you will not forget these two years when i have loved you as the very light of my eyes you will not forget that you have been all the world to me or that i have been all the world to you the naked truth i will forget nothing she said you will remember that if you decide against me you draw down a curtain which will shut the light out of my life for ever will you go she broke out don t you see don t you feel that every word you utter is torture indescribable to me if you have any love for me paul you will go this moment you will not delay one instant then i go he returned he was ghastly pale and trembling from head to foot but he drew himself up with a gesture of pride and with the courteous words do you permit me took her hand and raised it to his lips then a cry involuntarily broke from him and casting ceremony aside he clasped her once more to his heart dearest dearest he cried passionate kisses upon her face you can only decide in one way i don t go with any fear i will never believe that you could bring yourself to part from me i go now because you ask it not of my own will dearest by that love which has held us so close together during the two years that have gone by kiss me once before i leave you chapter vi the naked truth fortune lost nothing lost courage lost much lost honour lost more lost soul lost all lost when the door had closed behind him margaret that he was really gone gone it might be for ever it was the first time during the whole of her life in that she had let him go out of the house without herself going to the head of the stairs and watching him out of sight but that night she stood just where he had released her from his last embrace watching the closed door with a frozen face she heard him moving about the little hall knowing that he was putting on his fur lined coat and a woman making ready to depart then she heard the outer door close gently and she knew that the curtain had fallen between them what a night she passed she never tried to sleep she never even attempted to seek her couch or to rest in any way whatsoever during all those long hours she remained up destroying and burning the letters she had received since she left england putting her affairs into something like order and and arranging her wardrobe with a view to her trunks being packed so	30
that she might leave within a few hours if she should find it necessary to do so and when the morning came and appeared with her roll and coffee she was up and dressed but madame how early the exclaimed yes i have a great deal to do to day she replied a great deal to do i am going out get me my and a carriage at once in half an hour i have important business to do she ate a portion of the roll and swallowed some of the coffee not because she wanted it but because she knew not what lay before her or how much strength she might require then when had dressed her and afterwards came to tell her that the carriage was waiting below she went down telling the man to drive to the russian she scarcely knew whom to ask for she thought it was unlikely that she would be able to see the himself but her case was desperate and she felt that nothing could be had without asking for it i want you she said to the porter to take this card to his i will wait here for an answer but will not the well born lady enter and sit by the stove said the porter her quality from her appearance thank you she handed him her card on which was written in german i want to see you on business of the most vital importance to me i will not keep you many minutes i do not want you to do anything for me beyond giving me some information which i know that you possess after waiting a few minutes the porter came back and with many of respect ushered her into a plainly furnished room saying i the naked truth if the well bom lady will wait here a few minutes one of the gentlemen will come to her after waiting a quarter of an hour or so a tall young man wearing plain clothes entered the room and bowing asked in excellent yet the german of a foreigner if it was her pleasure to see his oh yes she replied i shall not keep him many minutes if he will only see me it is a question of more than life or death to me then seeing some doubt on his face oh don t think that i am begging or anything of that kind i have plenty of money sir i only want to ask a question about one who is very near and dear to me and i believe nobody but his can give me the information i require at least i would not unless it were ask it of any one else the young man was touched by the evident distress in her lovely eyes and although as i have said before margaret was not beautiful she was even in her grief very attractive pray madame do not distress yourself he said soothingly his will see you but he has so many calls and so many appeals brought to him that it is expedient for us to be careful who is admitted to him come this way madame he led her through a passage into another sitting room where an elderly gentleman was sitting alone at a desk near the window madame your said the young man and immediately retired the rose from his chair you wish to see me madame he said with kindly courtesy yes i only want to ask you a question what i say to you to day your will treat as purely confidential assuredly i want to ask you whether you know prince but certainly said the spreading out his hands then will you do m the favour to read this paper i am an and although i speak french and german i know no word of russian i know a woman what i believe that paper to be placing it in his hands but i have only the word of another for what it is i could not ask anyone of less place than yourself to help me in this thing will you sir read me what that paper says the took it with a pitying and admiring glance at her sit down madame pray be seated i will read you the paper with pleasure then he took out his fixed it on his nose and began to read the paper you would like me to read it aloud he said to roughly iti yes if you will be so kind it is dated nearly two years ago may no i paul prince undertake to pay to margaret north the sum of two thousand english pounds a year from this time forward to the end of her life and further to continue that sum to any child or children that she may bear me signed in the presence of and this day may signed paul prince margaret north he ceased speaking and a dead silence followed his words then he took the glasses off his nose and looked at her gravely for a few minutes the girl seemed stunned at last however she found words in which to speak you have read that paper she said yes and you have given me a literal translation of what it contains i have done so madame he replied you are quite sure i am quite sure i must ask you one more question she said you will tell me i know in your country does that paper constitute a marriage assuredly not he replied it does not no he held out the paper and she took it with a trembling hand the naked truth shall i be too much if i ask you another question certainly not madame ask me anything that you wish to know or that will be a comfort to you i fear that this has been a blow to you	30
secure me a sleeping carriage i believe that the train starts about six o clock a woman she did not wait to hear the maid s comment but went on to the charming sitting room where she had passed so much of her life during the past two years there she sat down at the table and drew writing materials towards her she began to write not like the margaret north who had lived until the previous day but as if some other self had taken possession of lier she was calm cold and perfectly self possessed to all outward appearances but her heart like lead her body felt chilled and and her head though on fire felt dull and heavy and exhausted still she began to write her letter without hesitation and wrote on rapidly not pausing for a moment to choose her words i know everything she began i have learned all i return to my own people to day those whom i ought never to have left at the bidding of a stranger it is useless for me to tell you of my des air my grief my outraged pride at the discoveries which i made this morning i go back to my own people do you return to yours to the child who will one day succeed you to the wife who bears your name giving up all idea of the wife for so i think i may fairly regard myself in the past at all events who is the wife of your choice i do not attempt to blame you you have made me very happy during these past years and perhaps you do not think of these matters as we do but do not attempt to follow me or to see me you and t have done with each other for all time there can be no renewal of our intercourse henceforth i am as dead to you as you must be to me i go back to my own people to take up my life as far as possible if nothing had happened between you and me because what nobody knows there can be no necessity to tell i should gain nothing and i should lose everything but if you should attempt to seek me out i should be compelled to seek protection from my people explanations are not necessary between us nothing you can say will explain or alter what has happened nothing you can say will make me the deception which you have practised upon me from this time our paths lie widely apart let us both pray heaven that they never run together again i you the key of the case in which my are kept i have not taken them because their into the world value would certainly be recognised in england and i could not account for the possession of anything so costly for the same reason i have left the jewels which you gave me in the dressing case which you will find in your strong box for the rest i leave you my few possessions to do with what you will you can dispose of them more easily than i and now i have come to the end and must say good bye for ever margaret she put the letter in an envelope and enclosed the two small keys within it then she sealed it using for the purpose an old seal which had belonged to her grandfather and which bore his crest there that is over she said now i must look round and see that i have left nothing behind me it was by that time nearly one o clock her lunch was set as usual she went and sat down eating the meal in quite an ordinary manner so that the servants did not believe that more had happened than the bad news about which she had told them she still seemed to feel nothing and when the actual time came for leaving she went out of the house without once looking round she did not weep nor cry nor her hands nor go through any of the which most people believe to be the suitable attitude for a woman placed under similar circumstances to hers no she shook hands with the german servant and bade her good in very much her ordinary tones and when had seen her into the little for the last time and had closed the door upon her she put out her hand to her also saying well good bye you will take care of everything and be sure to feed the then with a wave of her hand she said farewell to her german home for ever she travelled to without stopping from she had written a letter to mrs t saying that she was about to return to england that could no longer do with her indeed that she was going back to whither she did not wish to accompany her i have promised to stay a day or two in she said in conclusion and shall reach within a week from now a woman she drove to the hotel at engaging there a bedroom and a private sitting room the weather at that time was well nigh perfect and margaret spent three days quietly in being utterly alone she took her meals in her own room and only went out wearing a fairly thick veil and on the third day she continued her journey to england that is to say she went down by rail to stayed the night there at the hotel beau site and the following morning crossed to and went up to london in london she remained only the night going down to the following day chapter going back the only way to keep a secret is to say nothing now during all this time margaret had not given way in the very least she had not shed a tear indeed	30
she occupied herself so that she might not think about him whom she had just left it was strange to her to do everything for herself to have nobody to order dinner to have nobody to call a cab nobody to see after her luggage and to perform the thousand and one services which prince had taken such pleasure in doing for her but she bore the new life without outward and none of those with whom she came in contact guessed that she was aught but a young english lady on her way to england she had the time of her arrival to mrs and within five minutes of the appointed time the into station the dear old doctor was on the platform waiting to meet her why my dear child it is like the return of the prodigal son he cried a thousand to you you have been a long time away indeed we began to think that you were never coming back again but i m glad to see you my dear child very very glad to see you going back she held up her face to the dear old man that he might kiss her and murmured dear uncle with almost th first touch of feeling that had come to her since the shadow had fallen upon her life and aunt she asked not very well my dear none too well i don t quite know what s with her i m afraid her health is giving way but you will be a great comfort to her dear child and i am glad that you ve come home at last oh yes dear uncle and so am i she cried with a vague and uneasy feeling that she was to blame for mrs s ill health but my things did you bring the to meet me i did my dear well i can t take them all in the i think they had better follow on a cab we can take some of them he replied i ve got the luggage basket on the roof he to the luggage van and very soon her were all gathered together in a heap then he off to the carriage saw one or two of the lighter trunks hoisted into the basket and the rest of the luggage piled on to a cab which he ordered to follow them my dear i hope you travel with enough he exclaimed with a laugh i have been away for a long time dear uncle she said i had a good many things to bring back oh well when you are taking a long journey a box more or less don t make much difference he laughed now then jump in jump in they were half way between the station and the cathedral when she perceived that the doctor was her closely upon my word child t don t know what you have done to yourself he remarked presently done to myself she repeated yes you look ten years older than you did when you went away oh i have had a long journey i m very tired she replied growing a fine rosy red no it s not that i don t know what it is though tell me how did you like germany oh i liked it immensely she replied a woman and did you learn german oh yes speak it well oh yes h m well i always found english good enough for england too i wondered at your taste but one never knows what you young things will be after next i m glad though that you didn t want to marry any fellow out there i shouldn t have liked that you know no i suppose not said margaret in a faint voice and then the carriage turned in under the leading into the and drew up at the entrance door mrs came out into the hall to meet the new arrival she was wearing a white shawl over her shoulders and margaret was very much startled by the great change ill her appearance why dear she exclaimed have you been ill oh no child not very well that is all but tell me how are you h i think i am pretty flourishing a little tired and dusty though with a fine attempt at indifference and you have really come home at last to stay said mrs taking her niece s hand and drawing her into the drawing room oh yes if you ll have me my dear child what a strange idea if i will have you why surely this is your home well i did not know that you would have me or care to have me now that i am of age my dear child that is rank now let me look at you why margaret you look ten years older than you did what have you been doing to yourself oh i don t know nothing in particular i am very tired she answered patiently enough but how their questions and remarks worried and irritated her none but herself ever knew well dear i you are go up to your own room you will find everything there as usual will attend to you and at last the girl found herself alone in the familiar old room which she had been used to call her own how unchanged everything was there were the little going back on the wall which she had left behind her there was the same with a wooden head draped in there was the same rather meagre looking little dressing table with its and muslin the same looking glass with the black line across one corner the same square of carpet the same little wardrobe in which to keep her clothes and there was the same huge closet which ran at the back of the stairs what a mercy that closet is there margaret s thoughts ran for	30
i could never have got everything into that little pen which they call a wardrobe she dismissed telling her that she could come up presently and lay away her things and she told her that one particular trunk might be put away in the large cupboard without being they are not things useful for this climate she said by way of explanation as a matter of fact the trunk contained some of her best dresses and the girl s difficulty was this that believing herself to be the princess in reality although only to the world at present she had dressed enough for that position but most for the position of a bright young girl living in such a place as among other apparel she bad some half dozen beautiful tea gowns which she had worn in the evening when she and were not going out to dinner the of these she selected to wear that evening and when she had washed her face and hands and had the masses of her lovely hair she slipped into it with a sigh of relief it was a well cut white gown relieved here and there with a touch of faint green now at that time of day a tea gown was a garment but little known at least in provincial england and was never worn by unmarried women therefore when margaret went down into the drawing room mrs looked up with something of a start my dear she said in rather a scared voice i don t know what you have done to yourself you are very much altered am i dear smiling in what she tried to make a natural and interested sort of way i don t think so oh yes dear child you look ten years older than you used to do you don t look like a girl at all a woman perhaps i shall look more like a girl to morrow dear she suggested i am tired to night but the morrow came and margaret looked no more like the girl who had gone away two years before than she felt like her she put away most of her dresses and as soon as possible she got a couple of new spring made in the mode then most obtaining among young ladies in she also bought a couple of hats to suit them but everybody insisted that never was a girl so utterly and thoroughly changed and altered as margaret north the day after her return a letter reached her by the evening post she took it with an hand although she recognised the writing at a glance thank you she said carelessly then got up well dear i will go and change my dress i am rather late she went upstairs crushing the letter hard in her hand her heart was beating thick and fast and a vague fear her whole being she put the letter on her chimney shelf and tore off her day gown with trembling fingers just her hair and dipping her hands into water and slipping into the loose white gown which she had worn the previous evening then she drew a chair to the dressing table and opened the letter it was long very tender passionate and full of grief and despair i have no words he said in which to ask your forgiveness i know that i have wronged you cruelly and it was that shadow which caused you to think that i was changing towards you who could not change if i would for the deception i put upon you i have no excuse margaret i have no excuse to offer and i will not even pretend that i am sorry that i did it don t pass the rest of your life thinking me a who goes through existence like a roaring lion seeking whom he may will you believe me yes i know you will when i tell you that i have never in my life loved anyone except yourself will you believe me when i tell you that i shall never as long as i live love another woman you tell me to go back to my wife but if you knew what our life was together before i ever knew you and the kind of woman that my wife is i think even if you wished to torture me going back you would not ask me to go back to her after the two years of bliss i have enjoyed with you she has my name and that is more than enough for her when i spend my allotted time in she generally chooses that opportunity to pay her country visits or to take a cure somewhere we have not only nothing in common we have everything out of the common with each other with regard to the child who will one day succeed me he is less than nothing to me i have never seen him for five minutes alone in my life and he regards me entirely with his mother s eyes as to your decision margaret i abide by it it was not necessary to tell me that you would if i annoyed you in the future appeal for protection to your own people the suggestion of your appealing for protection from me has hurt me very cruelly but it is not for me to reproach you in any way you need have no fear still when what you feel now has passed by it is within the bounds of possibility that you may want me if that day should ever come you have but to write or telegraph one word to me at this address i shall not give this place up i shall not touch it if i should never see you again as long as i live i shall keep this as a shrine as a that i may come to when life is too	30
hard for me if ever it should prove too hard for you remember that this place is yours oh margaret dearest how could you so utterly cut yourself adrift from all that has made you so happy don t you think it was worth the sacrifice on your part a sacrifice which need never have been known to anyone but yourself nothing has been touched and yet everything looks so different without you spy up his ears at every sound and waits and watches for you all day long is very unhappy too and i hate the because they sing in your absence still they were yours or i should have wrung their necks long before this and sits in her cage and calls incessantly come and kiss me until i feel and i well i need not tell you how i am you must know that without words i will take care of your jewels until you want them but i missed one thing margaret the little blue ring which was the first thing i ever gave you i wonder if you are wearing iti oh my darling don t cut yourself off so a woman completely from me as not to give me the comfort of that bit of knowledge if it is so write to me once more at least and if you tell me that you are still wearing the little ring and that you love me as you used to do i think even if i never see you again i shall be able somehow to get through the rest of my life but i am yours still now and for all time paul the sounded for dinner just as she read the concluding words she thrust the letter into her bosom and turning down the gas with a fairly steady hand went out of the room without lingering a moment so with the weight of that dreadful farewell upon her she went down the wide shallow stairs and entered drawing room there were two visitors both officers in the garrison and margaret gave a hand to each as cold as her heart felt at that moment what is the matter margaret whispered noting the ghastly of her face she turned her eyes upon her cousin the matter oh nothing why do i look as if anything was the matter my dear you look as if had seen a ghost you are as white as death are you ill no i am never ill i don t know what it is to be ill i m a little tired that s all but hadn t you better have oh please don t dear i shall be all right presently she whispered don t draw any attention to me it will only worry she turned away taking her uncle s arm and went off to the dining room trying to speak lightly and of what had happened during the day while all through his chat and hers there rang sentence after sentence of prince despairing letter keep this place as a shrine and a and she had no shrine no i beg your pardon i did not hear what you were saying what was it she said turning to him with a start my dear child you are not well said the old doctor what s amiss with you how should i know dear she asked her going back shoulders it is your business to tell me not mine to tell you i think you want a good strong young lady he replied promptly oh no i don t like she said i not but are very good for one sometimes are they she found herself wondering with a shudder whether the which had lately come into her life would eventually be good for her oh no no that could never be not such a cup of bitterness as had been held to her lips then she had to turn to the gentleman on her right hand and to talk to him to talk in such anguish of spirit as probably had never entered into any life in that house before he was a handsome man tall and with his hair parted down the middle and with but two ideas in his head one bounded by the ranks of the regiment then in the other included in what is called sport now margaret north took no interest in sport of any kind not as associated with him anyway and she took even less interest in heavy so that when he to her of some practical joke that had happened the previous evening in the officers quarters she listened with an air of polite attention but with an utterly bored look upon her white face the old doctor watched her keenly all the time you are not eating enough to keep a bird alive he remarked to her when she was once more free oh dear uncle don t worry me she exclaimed i don t feel like eating to night i had a very good lunch i was not in at lunch time madam he returned so that i don t know what kind of a lunch you ate you had better drink a glass of this my child you look so faint and so it isn t the right thing for a young girl like you he poured out a glass of what he himself as being the oldest port in the girl took it as she would have taken poison had it been given to her she drank it without question it did not bring the colour back into her cheeks for margaret north had always been a woman a pale girl nor did it succeed in bringing the red tints back to her lips which were ghastly white how could she be other than she was with that piteous farewell lying on her heart lying on it	30
the end of that time she received another letter also written from i start to morrow he said for my time of penance at i had hoped to have at least a word from you before this perhaps it is too much to ask of you yet i did ask it i hoped i expected i longed for it and instead i have only the silence of the grave dearest have you shut the curtain down between us for can you let no little ray of light pass from you to me won t you write me one word one line to say how things are with you to say if you are well physically well to say that you still love me or have i beyond beyond forgiveness then she wrote i am alive she said but well neither in body nor mind my people think that i am greatly changed and they worry me with questions and pity i shall never come back to do not look for me i am wretched here but it is early days to have got even the first smart of the wound over don t write to me again the pain is too great don t think of me henceforth i am not for you my love can make no difference to you whether i feel it or not she wrote her name below and addressed the letter to his palace on the banks of the and in her heart she a vow that write as often as he would she would write to him no more so before she closed the envelope in the valley op the shadow she across the letter do not write to me again this is the last letter you will receive from me and during all this time margaret north had never shed a tear well this sort of thing cannot go on for ever and within a week from that time she was in the delirium of brain fever now brain fever is not as many describe it a disease which lasts for a few months and from which arise as from a stupor brain fever on the contrary is short and sharp and the poor patient has a real feeling about the events of the delirium i have had it and therefore i know in mind margaret was back in her pretty home in and fortunately for her it was natural that her entire wanderings should be carried on in german she returned thither many times during the few days which followed she greeted and she patted and spy the pearl grey she made much of the jet black cat and she talked incessantly to and and like a child to the oh it was so sad and then over and over again she wandered through those past years hand in hand with paul and then after having especially and tenderly agreed with him that never should another shadow come between them she weakly with faltering staggering footsteps as it were came back to her own senses and to a of things present and things real the first thin r she noticed was that the white woman in attendance upon her was not she addressed her in very accents and in german the woman answered in english oh are you an english nurse she said yes ma am oh and what are you doing in t am not in ma am we are in in she looked round the room why yes of course it was her own her own little draped room in dr s house in the cathedral close why of what had she been thinking she was at home she was at the old familiar have i been ill she inquired presently yes you have been very ill miss very ill but you re a woman going to be all right now you know the nurse replied in a tone oh am i what has been the matter with me well i don t rightly know the nurse replied the doctors have been very anxious about you but i think you ll be all right now my head feels so queer said margaret then put up her hand and touched well the head that she had ever touched in her life what have they done to my head your head has been shaved miss said the nurse my head been shaved that is queer you i don t think i would worry about it if i were you said the nurse quiet is the best thing that you can possibly have i will give you a little beef tea and if you were to compose yourself you will perhaps get a little more natural sleep than you have had for the last few days oh yes i will do anything you like but when she had taken her few of the chicken which the nurse brought her instead of the usual beef tea she lay quietly back among the pillows but she did not feel inclined to sleep her brain was still busy working working working and gradually as she lay there in the darkened room the remembrance came to her of all that had happened in the immediate past of how she had found out that paul was married of how she had fled from her home in had returned to and had suffered torture unspeakable until her remembrance had become and indistinct like a spoiled photograph she was quiet for some little time and then a terrible thought came to her mind what if she had been for days might she not have said what might she not have told how might she not have herself nurse she cried and it was such a weak pitiful voice that it sounded sad and pathetic even to her own ears nurse however bent on catching the slightest sound rose from her chair by the window	30
and came to the bedside do you want anything my dear she asked kindly yes i want to ask you something have you been here all the time that i have been ill in the valley of the shadow yes youve not been ill long you know dear only a few days oh have i been off my head very much off your head poor young lady said the nurse smiling but be all right now oh yes i i shall but tell me what did i say did i talk great rubbish well my dear you may have done so but you never spoke a word of english the whole time and the other nurse knows just as much of any other language as i do which is just nothing miss was up here off and on the whole time and she said she believed you were speaking german at all events you only let fall a few french words and she fancied all the rest was german thank god for that margaret s thoughts ran oh thank god for that she felt that a dreadful danger had come and gone in her life not a soul in the old house in the close understood a word of german excepting herself what a merciful thing that she had learned german so as to speak it as her habitual tongue after this she very soon began to pick up her strength she had no of her illness and at the end of a fortnight was allowed to get up and sit a while in the great easy chair by the window and the one and all were very kind to her my dear child said the doctor when she was strong enough to speak of her illness i knew when you came home that you were getting ready for something i was very concerned about you i never like the particular look that you had at that time you looked so frozen i did feel very ill dear uncle margaret admitted but you know he went on more seriously you can t go on doing this kind of thing if you ve been your german studies you must just drop german i did work very hard at it she exclaimed eagerly catching at the suggestion yes i m afraid it was the german that did it you in german all the time of course none of us could understand a word and so we didn t know what you were talking about but i m very much afraid that german language or literature has just cost you dear and you must not look at a german book again until i give you leave to a woman do so as a matter of fact you had better not look at a book of any kind until your hair has grown again but i couldn t live without oh yes you could and look here you ll have to go away shall i i don t want to go away well my dear you ll have to go away you had better go upon my word i don t know where you had better go me see it s june now and the weather is glorious you ought to go to the or still better to take a little trip on the sea now couldn t we arrange something of that kind no no dear don t i could not i should die if you took me a sea voyage i really could not uncle i hate sea travelling i will willingly go to any little quiet place that you order me to but not a sea trip no dear uncle not a sea trip instinctively the child s mind went back to the two short that she had made with him who had been her past the doctor patted her hand kindly pitying her evident distress there there there we ll see do nothing you don t want to do he said soothingly that would undo all the good that a change would do you don t distress yourself we ll find some quiet little place where you three can go away together and i will come to you when i can it will do your aunt good as well as you for she has been looking very and sadly during these last three weeks i am sure she has margaret cried i am sure of it really uncle i wonder you don t want to turn me out into the street as if i couldn t have come home without bringing all this trouble with me i almost wish that i had stopped away my dear child said he if you had had this illness anywhere else you probably would not have got through it if there is a place where you can be ill in comfort it is in this house so don t let me hear any such suggestion as that again learning to forget chapter xi learning to forget a life is a living death some little time elapsed before margaret north was fit to be taken to the it was more than a fortnight after the doctor s little conversation with her before she was able to go downstairs into the cool and shady with its big bow window looking into the green old garden whose walls were hidden with ivy whose turf had been undisturbed for at least a couple of hundred years for hours she lay propped up with pillows upon a sofa which had been drawn into the deep of the window idly watching the flitting to and fro from their nests in the tall elms which ran the whole length of the garden above them rose the massive towers of the cathedral and across the still close came from time to time the of the silver toned bells then she made a step in advance and was	30
time oh how she longed to go back back to paradise she closed her eyes then and with the loud of a woman the in her ears mingled with the silver tones of the cathedral bells she lived once more in that bright dream which had been hers for two sweet years she could see it all so well the dainty sitting room the brilliant sunshine streaming in at the windows the birds singing as though they would burst their little throats calling from her gilt cage come and kiss me she could see too the pearl grey little spy who had slept on her bed and who was watching and waiting for her who would never come back again a loud welcome and in her smart white cap and dearest of all the tall manly figure of him who was her past oh it was bad for the girl to think of all these things yet how when her heart was turned back towards them could she help it she was lying there with closed eyes living in the old life once more when the voice of caused her to return with a shock to a of things as they truly were i have brought you your chicken miss north you ought not to be asleep in the open air she said gravely the doctor said it was bad for you i was not asleep thank you margaret answered opening her eyes with a start and speaking kindly and sweetly i was resting that was all i was not thinking of going to sleep my chicken oh must i take it well i think you must said the maid who had been a great many years a in the doctor s household and here s a letter too miss north that will cheer you up a little margaret turned her startled eyes upon the tray yes there was the letter in the well known writing she took it with what was almost a sigh oh why would he not let her alone why would he not let her learn to forget yes i will take the i will really don t trouble about me i will take it then take it before you read your letter miss north or else perhaps you ll forget no i will not forget give it to me she put the letter down by her side and held out her touch with the past and for the cup and and by while she finished it to the last drop there i hope you are satisfied she said handing it back with an attempt at a smile i am sure the way you people all bully me is disgraceful i haven t got a soul to call my own now upon my word you remind me of the chickens one sees in paris being stuffed for the market well miss margaret retorted unless you a good deal better on what you take than you are doing now it s not very much good you ll be for the market ah said she i have my market it s no use your trying to me up for it it s too late in the day altogether there take my cup and the old servant shook her head as she turned away and said to herself that something sure had gone wrong with miss north her market she muttered and she not two and twenty ah i doubt miss margaret had a love affair over in germany that s what the secret of all this illness is but kept her thoughts to herself and strangely enough the never suspected anything of the kind chapter xii touch with the past who does the best his circumstance allows does well acts nobly angels could no more meanwhile margaret was lying back with the letter still in her hand should she open it the was that of shall i send it back again will that make him understand that i have really done with the past oh but have shall i have strength to go on with this existence of torture or shall i fail shall i go back and a woman take up the old life with my eyes open instead of blind as i was before stay would it be the same should i be the same would he be the same no t could never go back it is impossible i must never let myself go back if i ever did i should the day more bitterly than i the past that is i never think of it but shall i open that letter ought i not to send it back what shall i do she sat up staring at it with pitiful eyes and while she was hesitating between the two courses open to her came out into the garden bringing with her a young lady who had been a great friend of margaret s in the days gone by here is come to see you dear oh my dear margaret how ill you look said the new comer in astonished tones do i i suppose one does look ill after brain fever i am not very bright how do you do oh i m all right dear i m all right the girl replied then you know i never ail anything i leave it for imaginative people like you who go and slave at german or something or other till you get brain fever i got enough of lessons at school and never a lesson do i take again it s a pure matter of taste said margaret oh purely so so is brain fever i don t know what you wanted to go to germany for i find quite good enough for me with a little change to london or or a trip to scotland by the bye i had such fun up there last autumn i went up to	30
stay with s people by the bye i met a man who knew you very well really somehow margaret s heart began to beat hard at this announcement she was always in a kind of tremor lest she should come across somebody who had known her under her other name in this instance however she need not have troubled for on yes he was a nice fellow he said he knew you when he was here his name was oh captain yes yes i know captain he was here went on the time i was in paris touch with the past finishing and he left about two months after i came home so that i never met him very good looking yes very good looking said margaret in a chill tone he asked after you of course yes and you told oh i told him you were in germany to be sure her tone was still more interested i told him that you were practically at school in germany that you were studying the language and i rather fancied you were going out to teach work or something of that kind oh that is a new idea said margaret smiling he asked who you were studying with and i said you were studying with a lady because here told me so you know he seemed surprised he said he thought that everybody studied with an old gentleman who wore spectacles and a great deal of hair i said certainly not nothing of the kind that you were studying entirely with a lady what was captain doing at the margaret asked letting the question of her german pass without further comment well that rejoined was what i could not make out said he was dead nuts on her you remember how always was and she used to about him and really she made herself quite silly over him quite silly by the way you know he s very rich now don t you no i never heard anything of him since i saw him last just before i went abroad oh well he s left the army you know said he couldn t stand it any longer and soon after that he came in for a very large fortune i don t know how he came to know the because he didn t know them as connected with in any way of course you know was never in no i suppose not well after we left madame s i always with her because she was a nice girl though a bit foolish by the bye why don t you open your letter looking at the envelope in margaret s hand oh no my letter will keep said margaret shortly a woman oh will it well i couldn t keep a letter if i knew it was from the worst enemy i had in the world i should still want to open it if you want to read it and i will walk round the garden you might give me a few of those lovely of yours yes of course come and get them said rising and then you must say good bye to margaret because she is not really strong enough for visitors yet you are the first who has seen her i m sure i feel very much honoured i ll go as soon as you have given me the flowers read your letter dear she added as she turned away from margaret s chair but margaret lay quite still and did not attempt to do so she followed the two girls with contemptuous eyes was i ever like that she said to herself i wonder if i ever went and danced a on somebody s heart as she has done on mine was i ever like that has she no soul has she no idea of what life is so captain is dead nuts on what a funny world i wonder if anybody knows he was once dead nuts on me oh you never were a responsible being but you seem more than ever to me now in five minutes the two came back that might say good bye to the invalid then both disappeared into the old house shall i read that letter said margaret to herself i know that i ought not to do so and yet yet i must she tore open the envelope with eager trembling fingers it was from him of course i received your letter dearest it began i know that i ought to do just what you tell me and not write to you again but the task you set is too hard every day the blank in my life grows darker and more dreary every day i want you more and more will you never will you not send me one word to tell me that you have not ceased to love me will you not pity my forlorn condition is there no hope for the future have you no shade of pity for me have you utterly shut down the curtain between us oh margaret dearest best for you are the wife of my heart has the past gone by beyond won t you send me one touch with the past word that shall be less cold less less hard than the little scrap that i had from you in answer to my last have you no pity for me one never knows what a day may bring forth the chance may come that i shall be free in that case if i bring you the rest of my life and lay it at your feet will you take it or it are you wearing the little blue ring don t think it trivial to ask such a question it is almost a matter of life and death to me spy still looks for you still talks to you and ask	30
me continually if i have any news of your return only seems to be content without you and she after all is only a cat while i i wander about my marked everywhere with the impress of your dear personality and curse the fate that allowed me to put a bond between us oh margaret margaret if you could look into your little home once more i believe you would come back again if you could look into my heart i know that you would forgive the past and forget the future in the present if you could see how dead and black the future is to me in pity you would at least send me one little ray of light to my darkness t want you i want you she read it twice the whole scene was changed for her the sunshine was glaring but no longer radiant the voices of the in the elms above were harsh and the which had just begun to toll for were and out of tune the was no longer velvet like and the fresh summer air but half an hour ago so still and seemed to strike a chill to her very soul she got up and with the help of her stick walked into the house toiled slowly up the wide shallow stairs and so gained the of her own bedroom and once there poor child she locked the door and reaching the great chair in front of the fireplace sank down upon the rug and hid her pale face just as she had done once before oh how am i to bear it how shall i go on why do ten thousand angels seem to call me with inviting gestures back to my paradise why on this side should there only stand a sad dark figure in a hood it is not right it is not just i know that i did what was right in coming away as soon as i knew all i know that i a woman did right in answering him coldly in even trying to turn him against me but why is it made so hard why is there no satisfaction in choosing the right path oh why do those old rise up and haunt me me at me virtue is its own reward oh no no no there is no reward in virtue every bright faced l that my brain ever up stands over on that other side telling me what joy shall be mine if i will only go and take it take it with both hands every fibre of my being pines to go back to him to go home it is my home nothing can alter that oh what shall i do why is that awful temptation put in my way would it be wrong would it be wrong to go back open eyed knowing all that i do would it be wrong would it be more wrong than to sit here slowly dying with my whole heart longing for this man s could it be more wrong what have i done in my life that i should be tortured like this i have not in the past i am free from sin i was against and yet how i love the one who against me oh what will the end be oh turning to the letter again every word burns itself into my heart i want you margaret i want you i shall always want you oh what shall i do could it be wrong there is nobody in the world but myself to think of i have no father or mother to be hurt my sister is gone out of my life and these dear people here who have been so good to me they need never know and yet to live in can i do it is it the same thing to love another woman s husband is it the same thing to love a man who has so deeply against me if i went back should i be what we point the finger of scorn at no i must not do it i must not do it i ought not to do it i ought not to do it and yet there is only that sad figure on this side who says not one word in encouragement who holds out no hand to stay me who only and and points to a black cloud over my future while on the other side the angels and smile and tell me in their sweet voices all that will be mine if i will only go back and yet to live in in even though it would be but little wrong to her still it would be the same to me i must be brave i will be brave i will not answer that letter chapter xiii the deepest ice which ever can only o er the surface close the living stream lies quick below and flows and cannot cease to flow fortunately for mrs the weather remained very hot and the attack of from which she had so sharply was gradually got under hand and finally overcome and by slow degrees she was brought from her bed to the bedroom window then into the drawing room and thence to a shaded chair in the part of the green and quiet garden by that time margaret was almost restored to health that is to say she had done away with most of her invalid habits and only under protest continued on a special diet ordered by the doctor her head was covered by a soft chestnut down of a curly nature so the weather being warm and fine she discarded the muslin cap with a lace edge which she had worn during the early days of her recovery she had grown very thin which was natural enough and she really looked more	30
like her old self that is more like a girl than she had done at any time since she left for then too all the new clothes that she bought were made in the fashion then the town which also made a considerable to her appearance she went out every day with her cousin partly because she did not want to draw any particular attention to herself and partly because if the doctor knew that she had been abroad during the twenty four hours he did not worry her with either questions or pity for the rest of her time she spent it mostly between trying to amuse her aunt and to make her invalid days less weary and in sitting dreaming of that tender past which could never return to her from prince she did not hear again apparently he had accepted her that the curtain was shut down between them for ever at all events he made no attempt to raise it from his side so it was all over the watching and waiting the anxiety distress and fear had all a woman passed by and now she had only the blank silence of acquiescence i cannot say that it made her life any easier everything that she did she did from a strong sense of duty and from a determination that she would not faint under this terrible burden of secrecy that had been laid upon her but everything that she did was done with a blank feeling of despair and in vivid and painful contrast to everything she had done in her german home and although a girl with her fortune with her attractive appearance and with her charming voice could not fail to draw many admirers to herself margaret north was more reserved in manner than any married woman in the town her patience with mrs was little short of like all persons recovering from so a illness as mrs was somewhat difficult to keep amused but margaret devoted herself to her utterly and devised all manner of occupations which could help to pass away the time until she should be strong enough to be moved mrs s favourite occupation however was the one that gave poor margaret the most exquisite pain she loved to hear of germany and german life she plied her with the most minute questions as to her home the servants the meals the furniture the method on which the was done society and indeed any subject connected with german life that she could think of and margaret patiently answered all to the best of her ability what madame was like what kind of clothes she wore how many new dresses she had a year what she gave for them what the was like what kind of people they visited with whether she liked better than what the did for a living how servants they kept and what their names were how the household work was divided between them and what portion did herself whether she had really liked being in whether she had found german very difficult to acquire whether she ever went to the theatre whether she knew any young men in whether under any circumstances she could ever have brought herself to marry a german or any other foreigner with these and countless other questions of the same kind the invalid plied poor margaret and margaret patiently answered everything keeping as near as she could to the truth and really only the name of for that of so mrs became gradually quite intimately acquainted with the workings of the pretty hat in the knew just the positions of the windows just where the stood in their large cage just bow the plants had flourished just how and all day long and what she said knew all s and all s stolid i call it very extravagant to have two servants and have all the meals sent in she remarked more than once well i don t know dear most of them do it it a lot of trouble and you get very good cooking of course could not cook for she was quite a rough servant so you see you don t have to pay a good cook margaret explained true and yet fancy our having things sent in from the royal ship i could not imagine anything more absurd besides how would they be kept hot oh of course they have for keeping them hot you always get your dinner to perfection well i t think i should like it but of course german cooking is not at all like english cooking is it no said mar and you know there is good german cooking and bad german cooking then followed a shower of questions as to the way this dish was prepared and that one how the tables were set and whether it was true that the lady of the house in germany always washed up her own silver and glass herself i believe it is said margaret but we never did it at our house always did that i can t think said mrs after a moment s pause how you liked that life better than life in dear i did not say that i liked it better but you lived there for two years mrs persisted yes of course i did but i could not possibly have learned the language well under that time a woman but why need you have minded why should you want to know german so much one must do something with one s life my dear child what better are you now that you do know german not a bit better said margaret not a bit better but then i could not find that out except by experience then you have no idea of leaving us again and going back to none she answered shortly besides has gone back to and likely to remain there ob yes i think	30
of it which makes her desirable to a man a much more important question is whether he wants her there is something in that said margaret looking at the photograph still in her hand it s a good photograph she added and of a very handsome man there take it i will wish you joy with all my heart when the time does come margaret said when she had folded the photograph once more into the strip of paper and had consigned it to the inner pocket of her loose jacket i wonder if i might ask you a question why of course said margaret turning her lovely eyes upon her friend have you ever been in love at this question a wave of hot colour flushed across the girl s thin face and in turn died away to be replaced by a terrible and ghastly i oh what a question to put to one i have had fancies like most other girls i have dreamed dreams like most other women and i have found out that dreams are only dreams like most other women that means yes was s comment it said the other wistfully then dear you are my friend we always cared for each other even when we were little children so don t ask me that question again don t remember that you ever put it to me if i ever loved it was a pity if i should ever love in the future it will be a miracle don t speak of it to anyone it can only give me pain and that dear i know you would be the last to wish me and then knocked at the door and said i have taken the tea into the garden miss margaret margaret jumped up from her seat come she said holding out her hand we won t talk about these things any more you have your head full of your soldier and you fancy every other girl of age is like yourself dear longing for somebody to love longing to get married it is much best to wait till mr right comes i have great faith in mr eight she added with a laugh a quite laugh too she drew out of the room and they went back to their elders and somehow the girl was so full of her own concerns that she saw nothing of the anguish in margaret s pale face heard no note of the agony in her sweet voice understood nothing of the storm raging in her heart you won t say anything about captain will you a woman not a word said not a word of course not i was never a no you never were one could always trust you with anything of course mother doesn t know it will be time enough for her to know when he has spoken out if he ever does he ever does repeated margaret the arm so affectionately linked in hers and they do say mrs remarked just as they approached the elder ladies and they do say that she gave twenty five guineas for that coat and her husband filed his petition in only six weeks afterwards i call it perfectly disgraceful you don t mean it said the doctor s wife of course i do oh we had it on very good authority who is that asked as margaret busied herself with the tea cups mrs ah well i could believe anything of mrs i don t know said mrs i am loth to believe that of any woman of course she had a past everybody knew that margaret looked up what sort of a past she asked quietly oh the usual thing a man an affair disappeared for a time everybody knew it so i suppose one must expect that kind of wilful extravagance from that kind of woman do you take sugar mrs asked margaret thank you dear two mrs replied but nobody saw the sarcasm it fell flat as flat as mrs s words of a woman in trouble this is the kind of mercy that i should get if everything were known said margaret in her own heart by the side of the sea chapter xiv by the side of the sea not yet not yet the light out of sight like we blindly toil during the following week margaret went with mrs and to which is one of the most favourite sea coast places within reasonable reach of it is not the most fashionable in for which is twenty miles nearer to than is one of the most fashionable places in england a regular where visitors go in their thousands to take to their limbs in certain springs which flow out of the tall white cliffs and many go as many go to without any complaint beyond a certain of dress which a complete change of toilet at least three times in a day had and still has for that matter its great its cliff gardens its double and its double band its theatre concert hall refreshment rooms and alley to say nothing of a dozen superb courts and magnificent links then about the best to be found on the english side of the border on the other hand is but a quiet little fishing village with an in the shape of a west end it in lovely walks and drives is peopled by a sturdy sea race handsome and dignified and very well bred dr had taken a of rooms in the principal no great for his ladies he was very well known there and always received marked attention because he was in the habit of in all cases where air and quiet were necessary they had still the nurse with them for after two such long the doctor felt that a change to the sea would be a great kindness to her and	30
would enable mrs to do without the services of who was almost indispensable at the during her absence so they had a charming sitting room with a wide bow a woman window overlooking the harbour three and a dressing room where the nurse slept so that mrs could if necessary have the door of communication it was very quiet and very delightful they had no trouble no worry no anxiety nothing to do but rest and regain their strength every morning they went down on the fine beach where they had their deck chairs spread and mrs was able to drink in the sea air without exertion to herself then at twelve she and margaret by the doctor s orders both took a warm sea bath after lunch they rested for an hour and usually went for a drive returning home in time for afternoon tea afterwards they sat on the balcony or in the hotel garden or wandered out on the sea front according to the warmth of the day and their individual fancy so mrs grew quite strong and like her old self again and every time that the doctor came over he expressed his intense satisfaction at her changed looks with margaret it was different she made no progress whatever she read a certain amount and she walked and bathed and drove and with the others but although her face was burned a little by the sun and her hair grew until it was bright and curly like the hair of a child yet the look in her eyes never altered and the girlish manner of old did not in any way come back to her but she no longer fretted as she had done as a matter of fact she had grown used to her new life in a measure she the fact that she would never go back to and that the past was past and for all time but that did not make the present any more desirable or seem any more real to her mind she lived and moved like a woman in a dream although she forgot nothing of what she had taken upon herself as duties but her life was in spite of that all acting she feigned an interest in all manner of trivial matters which she did not in any sense feel she busied herself with a long strip of lace work so beautiful in texture that even an expert would scarcely have been able to tell it from old point lace such as comes down to us from our great but margaret had no intention of ever wearing it she had started out on a wide four and a half yards in length and she worked at it in season and out of by the side of the sea season solely for the sake of something to do as a some thing which would prevent the necessity of talking when she was not inclined to do so as a something which would occupy her but she never meant to wear it how soon do you think you will get that done asked one day oh in a few years margaret answered carelessly i don t know how you have the patience to do it if i were you i should take no pleasure in wearing it if i had spent as much time over it as you will have done where did you get the pattern it was a scrap of very old lace that i picked up in ended no in the black forest she did not add that the original piece had been five yards in length and that had paid an enormous price for it or what had seemed so to her because it was such a rare specimen the little scrap which she now used as a pattern had originally belonged to the same piece but had been cut for some purpose before it came into margaret s possession that is to say it had been cut to within half an inch of the border margaret out of sheer want of something to do had cut it through and had started a of the same pattern as a chance occupation to take up whenever she felt so inclined in a certain manner it comforted her to go on with a piece of work which she had begun under such different circumstances she knew that she should never wear it she thought it possible she might present it to some church with which to an altar she had grown to love it she felt that she was working at something connected with him who was her past oh pitiful situation when a woman s love can only itself on threads because they seem to have touch with a ruined life a few days after this left and returned to going from thence to her sister s place in ireland so that margaret was thrown more upon mrs s society than ever happily by this time she was so much improved in health as to be scarcely an invalid any longer and one or two of her special friends had come to for their summer holiday so that margaret was able to take long walks by herself and to occupy herself less exclusively for her a woman aunt s than she had done before about this time too the nurse also left them as she was not really needed any longer and very shortly afterwards margaret received a letter from which conveyed news of captain dear old margaret the letter began i am so captain came to yesterday and is dining with us to night i met him quite by accident this morning and he turned back with me and when we came to the gardens he proposed that we should go in and look round we stayed two hours margaret and he was awfully nice you don t know how nice	30
and i feel that he has come on purpose and that it will come off this evening after dinner always your excited and how silly she is margaret s thoughts ran why does she want to write and tell anybody why is not her happiness enough for her silly girl however she wrote back enough and two days afterwards when she had just come back to the hotel from a little on the sands and was awaiting her aunt s return from a drive which she was taking with a friend the door opened and the hotel waiter announced captain she turned from the window where she was standing with an exclamation of extreme surprise oh how do you do she exclaimed really you are the very last person in the world i expected to see to day ami because i heard that you were at i was in until this afternoon but how strange to see you in not all strange i came to see you he answered but what well i thought that you were so to speak chained to i why what do you mean a little bird told me margaret began what did a little bird tell you by the side of the sea well that you were in bondage and to whom ah i think i had better not tell you that it was only a little bird and they are not always accurate you know that particular little bird is most not to say a down right story said captain i called at the doctor s and they told me that you had been very ill and that you were here with your aunt so i came and here is my aunt said margaret here is a visitor an old friend of yours i am afraid you will not remember me mrs said going to meet her oh captain really how delightful i am so pleased to see you but what has brought you to i wanted a breath of sea air said he and i happened never to have been to and besides that i happened to be in the other day and i heard that you were here which assuredly with a little bow was sufficient to choose instead of i m sure you are very complimentary said mrs who was a social soul and dearly loved a soldier then are you staying here in the hotel yes i found that there was no other hotel to which i could go he replied no this is the best one then you will join us at dinner to night won t you i shall be delighted to do so i shall be delighted if you will join our table altogether said mrs who knew perfectly well what he had come for and was anxious to make the way easy for him how kind you are said he gratefully margaret who was still standing at the window laughed ah my aunt is a great captain she has not forgotten her old ways i assure you but i will keep you both in good order and see that neither of you too much a woman chapter xv a delicate hint tis not the whole of life to live nor all of death to die it had still not occurred to margaret that captain had come to to see her somehow until it was forced upon her she never seemed to see that men could be in love with her she felt like a widow like a widow who had buried all idea of love in the grave and she never even to herself admitted the possibility of love or even of admiration having a part in her life again i will give you some tea she said when their laughter had died away i suppose you have had none no dear i came straight in mrs replied so while they sat in the big bow window looking out over the shining sea with their and the little hot cakes for which is margaret asked him whether he had brought any news from in truth she was most anxious to know whether he was engaged to or not she thought it more than possible that the might be on the eve of coming to which was a favourite place of theirs that indeed would account for his turning up so unexpectedly no i have no news he said i only stayed two days in the old place and nothing seemed to be changed in the very smallest degree did you see the margaret asked with admirable carelessness yes yes i dined there the other night what kind people they are he added oh the kindest people in the world said mrs and is not pretty she added oh remarkably so he answered promptly yet in a wholly conventional tone somehow those two words conveyed to margaret s mind the fact that captain had not the smallest intention of poor then she was mistaken after all her thoughts ran poor girl i wonder why he has come to r a delicate hint s she was not long left in doubt however a week went by during which captain made his intentions much too plain to be mistaken or misunderstood he shared their table at meals he was made free of their sitting room be accompanied them in all their walks and drives i do wish you would be a little kinder to him dear said mrs anxiously one day when margaret had complained of feeling too tired to walk to the end of the pier why couldn t you have gone to the end of the pier with him i am sure you are not really tired margaret dear answered margaret looking up from her seat on the sand beside her aunt s deck chair at the tall grey clad figure walking briskly along the rough pier i did not want to go i have	30
i am fifteen or twenty years older she replied still i do wear tea gowns although people in seem to think it is perfectly ridiculous to do so but you slave at it he went on as if your soul s salvation depended on it i hate idleness she replied not raising her eyes are you not afraid of getting lace on the brain no she answered not a bit h m it seems to me such a waste of energy it a woman would be so much better if you would come along for a good walk right down the sands yes i it would then why don t you come because i am very happy and comfortable where i am i don t like walking on sands to begin with then come to the end of the pier he said no it is too hot and it is and it is and i am very comfortable where i am i don t care about she added they always smell so nasty this pier is delicious he declared no my dear captain it is not delicious it is a very slippery and and all the in the world won t get me to walk from one end of it to the other this morning thank you i am a complacent young woman i know but i am not always to be controlled by other people never he muttered under his breath well if you will have it so never she replied in the same he sighed and sat for a minute or two looking out to sea mrs buried in her morning paper saw and heard nothing of what passed margaret he murmured under his breath are you never going to be any different i don t think so she said simply i don t think so it is sometimes wiser captain to take a hint than to press a question right home chapter xvi new ground as year to year the more imperfect life s seems our dreams are as of are not the same dreams a few days later they parted they travelled as far as together and from thence captain went to scotland new once more back in the old house in the close margaret breathed freely it was then early in september she led during the rest of the month a very dull and a very quiet life but at least it was happy at least it was not haunted with the horror of another man s love being laid at her feet of another man s love being in a measure forced upon her at all hands she had got over the first keen edge of her past anguish and some of you will know what i mean by that when you can speak or think of your misery as being in the days you have already begun to feel something of relief not for a moment must my readers imagine that margaret did not daily almost think of her first and only love and of her bright and sunny home far away in a dozen times a day something happened to recall the dear past none the less dear to her because of the terrible disclosure which had fallen like a black cloud between her and it scarcely ever did she pass through the quaint streets without seeing some man who in walk or manner in face or in general appearance brought back to her mind with a shock and thrill of remembrance she never saw a small long haired grey blue without thinking of that dear little friend whom she had left behind her in germany she always thought of spy as watching and waiting for her coming it never occurred to her that by this time he might have forgotten her she always thought of the as still calling for her and talking to her and she never in passing down the streets caught a glimpse of a grey in a gilded cage without turning sick and faint at being thus reminded of the one which was hers and yet not hers and yet she had come to be wretched almost to be happy the wild longing to go back had gone by the craving for the sunshine of s love was not so all with her as it had been five months before she had grown used to her dull life and to the round of society and although there was always a shadow in her eyes and a sad gravity about the once always laughing mouth yet she laughed sometimes as merrily as ever and she gradually began to take more interest in things around her almost the first visit she paid after her return to was to had just returned a woman from a visit to and met her with a shy and look upon her bright and pretty face did you tear up my letter she asked what letter well the one i wrote to you about captain lie never meant anything i was a little fool i like him i can t help liking him but he doesn t care two about me i can t think what he came to for he seemed so gone on me till then when i was staying at the he never would talk to anybody but me or play with anybody but me or with anybody but me and he always contrived that i should drive with him and he seemed so interested in and everything in it so what else was i to think and then he wrote to me once or twice and sent me that photograph t never was so let down to margaret it was all clear enough but she could not tell the girl under such a slight whether fancied or real just what was in her mind so she put aside the question as quietly and delicately as she could and	30
led to talk of other things and not one word did she say to her of his long stay at indeed when she returned home that evening she went straight into her aunt s bedroom where she found her dressing for dinner i wish you would do something for me of course i will mrs answered what is it well strictly between ourselves that foolish got hold of some idea during last autumn that captain was in love with her and she has just found out that he is not in love with her at all and is awfully upset and penitent at having said anything about it even to me i could not tell her that he came to whilst we were there and stayed all that time if i had any idea of marrying him of course it would have been kinder but i really could not tell her to day i could not so will you dear not mention to mrs that he was there at all but it would be much better to do so mrs declared no dear no you don t know what may happen new ground he certainly is charming and pretty and it might about some day and if ever it did i should not like her to think that he had ever bad an idea in his head about me it would be painful to her and to me and to him i would so much rather not let her know of course as you wish dear but mark my words captain will never marry perhaps not dear and equally certainly he will never marry me and you mean that you will never marry bim well it to the same thing but if they knew that he had been at of course they would know why and i don t think it would be quite fair to him i will not say a word dear not a word and you will ask my uncle not to speak of it will you certainly i will by the bye i had a letter from this afternoon oh had you yes comes back next week and would like to know when you are going to pay your long promised visit to her she wants to know if you will go the first week in october yes if you like if she likes i am not very keen on paying country house visits but i suppose i must go oh i think you must seems to think that you don t want to go and i am sure if you would go once the change would do you good the doctor thinks so too very well i will go then shall i write to her or will you oh you might mention it when you write and i will write to her to morrow therefore the first week in october saw margaret bag and baggage start from for mrs s place in ireland now i think i said before that mrs had married young and also that she had married exceedingly well to margaret castle came as a revelation she knew that s husband was rich because she had stayed with them in town but she had no idea of the magnitude of the castle until she reached it she found that they bad rather a large for the october and the change from the a woman of with its gossip and to their busy bustling life could not but do her a wonderful amount of good chapter xvii at castle hope is the only tie that keeps the heart from breaking at the end of a week margaret north looked at least five years younger she threw herself with zest into everything that was going on and even began to think that after all she might find life to a certain extent worth living still then at the end of that time her pleasure was suddenly for one afternoon when she came in from a long walk with another girl staying in the house she found among the group having tea in the great hall oh where did you come from she asked it was not perhaps a very complimentary mode of greeting but she was fairly surprised into it i had no idea that you were expected she explained just a shade awkwardly really i hope i don t annoy you by being here he said quickly oh no of course not i did not know that you were expected that was all i did not even know that you knew my cousin oh yes i have stayed here several times before he replied i never have she ed i never have then i am sure you must find as i always do that it is a perfectly delightful house to stay in oh delightful she agreed but she knew perfectly well that although he might have stayed in the house before this special visit had distinct relation to herself she knew that it had been planned for them in fact and that he and mrs hoped that in the influences of a pleasant country house she might be induced to change her mind and to accept him as at castle her husband the sight of him seemed to bring all the pain of the old wound back again she w nt up to dress feeling vaguely anxious and vexed it is as if that man were my fate she said indignantly as she passed the comb through her short curls as if he was fated to be in my way why cannot they give me time it is so soon so soon oh if i could only make him understand that if he would go away for a year and not worry me one way or the other i might think of it but no i could not do it it wouldn t be honest i shall never think	30
of it no there is no help for it i tried to spare him at but if he likes to speak out here i shall not try to stop him she looked ill and harassed when she appeared in the drawing room with the same vague uneasy shadow on eyes and mouth which had been there in the early days of her sorrow and some ten days later captain again asked her to marry him i wish you had not spoken of this again she said in a quiet and grieved tone because i tried so hard when we were at to make you understand that i could not possibly do what you ask you must have known that i was trying to keep you from speaking out again captain i will be frank with you i would marry you if i honestly could do so but i don t love you at all i don t want to marry you i don t feel that i should be happy if i did marry you will you answer me one question he said a little under his bronze yes if i can do so is there anybody else no she said looking straight into his eyes i assure you that i have no idea of marrying anybody else then why he asked do you hate me so i hate you captain i do not hate you i do not even dislike you on the contrary if you were only my friend you would be one of the dearest friends i ever had in the world i do not want to marry you i don t feel that i honestly could marry you no woman ought to marry a man unless she honestly loves him unless she feels that he is the only man in the world that she a woman could marry and i don t feel like that toward you i never have felt that tell me another thing he said still keeping tight hold of her hand did you go abroad because you wanted to get out of my way not altogether did you do so at all i i might have done so partly she answered hesitating a little as indeed was but natural i wanted a complete change i wanted to be out of i am not fond of it is a place where you cannot live long without becoming little minded you cannot live anywhere long without becoming he put in perhaps not but to me is like a prison and yet you won t leave it not for another prison but if you were to marry me would you feel that you were in prison i might do so i think it not unlikely at all events i must say no now i am sorry you asked me why don t you turn your mind to others look what nice girls you and i both know girls who perhaps would be as fond of you as i am of you he suggested i was not going to say that she said because unless you really liked the girl i would never advocate your marrying her i shall never marry anybody but yourself it is no use margaret your suggesting any other girl that you know i know whom you mean you are thinking of that little doll in it s no use i want you i shall always want you margaret her hand away from his and moved a step or two away from him oh why did you say that she cried in a distressed tone say what nothing nothing i wish i could give you any other answer i simply cannot i cannot help it it is not my fault no he said it is only my misfortune but i shall wait and wait margaret until you have either changed at castle your mind or put it out of your power to say yes by marrying somebody else so pray don t cast me on one side lightly you must pity my disappointment you must feel that it is not a light love that you are i don t reject it she cried in great distress please do not speak of it in that dreadful way i only tell you that i cannot give you any love from my side and that i would not marry a man i do not love you would not wish me to do so yes he said if you hated me and you consented to marry me i would still say here i am oh no no she cried oh yes yes he returned you don t understand what love is i thought there might be somebody else i have thought so ever since one night in the ball rooms but now triumphantly i know that you cannot even understand what love is or you would never say anything so unreal and so little true to life as that i would not wish you to give yourself to me on any terms but she cried what hope of happiness could you and i have under such circumstances you would always feel this woman does not love me i should always feel i don t love this man it would be a chain that bound us together not a link it would be a continual of one soul against the other captain i really can conceive nothing more wretched more miserable more than such a compact i would rather not marry anybody i am not a marrying girl you must have seen that for yourself i feel that i shall never marry you may alter your mind some day he put in i may do so but i doubt it then said he so long as you only doubt so long as you do not the question by marrying somebody else just so long shall i keep faithful just so	30
long shall i continue to hope and wait a woman chapter xviii very near to the truth in many ways does the full heart reveal the presence of the love it would conceal but in far more th heart lets know the absence of the love which yet it fain would show after captain had received margaret s definite answer although he did not accept it as such he cut short his visit to castle and i think he would certainly not have been flattered if he bad known the intense relief that his departure gave to the girl he loved she felt safe for a time she knew that he could not possibly come back again while she was there and so she remained for nearly a month feeling better and stronger and brighter for every day that passed over her head did she think of oh yes every day morning noon and night but every day with less of that passionate longing which had been so in the early days of her return to england why don t you take captain mrs asked her one day when they were driving down a quiet country road together because i don t care for him margaret replied without hesitation oh with an incredulous air of astonishment i thought you used to be great friends with him oh friends yes a little coldly you are very much altered said mrs after a moment s silence i her colour changing how in what way oh you are as much altered in every way as i am and there never was a girl so entirely altered as i you are altered said margaret one could never believe that you were once a little miss in with the grammar school boys and running in and out of the old close no but of course my life has changed very much said mrs very much but you are changed without your life being changed that is so strange well one cannot always be a girl in one s very near to the truth true but it is not a question of years neither your nor your have changed you so completely it makes no real difference whether you are nineteen or two and twenty the events which happen make the marks in our lives not the number of years that go by you know she went on with a change of tone i have always fancied yes well that there was something when you were in how do you meant asked margaret looking straight in front of her i don t know quite what i mean but something happened when you were over there and it changed your whole life i am right am i not oh a great many things happened yes but you had a love affair i don t ask your confidence i know you know that is i can see oh my dear said margaret you had a love affair of your own and you think that every other woman who has lived to be nineteen years old has also had a love affair but it is not invariably the case i was very gay and light hearted as a girl far more so than you ever were and i think that those people who have had such very gay spirits when they are young feel different when they come to be a little older no my dear that won t do you had a love affair in you know you had what is that little blue ring you wear every day why do you wear it on that finger why do you touch it so often as you do i have seen you touch that ring in a way that was a caress in itself nonsense yes it is quite an ordinary little ring i should not think that it cost five pounds you have much rings of your own but you always wear it you sleep in it he gave it to you don t said margaret don t but i am right i cannot tell you anything i am not going back to i am not going to marry anybody in i am a woman not going to marry anybody at all if i ever loved i made a mistake and one hates to talk about one s mistakes don t ask me any more and don t worry me about captain i i don t want to marry him i really cannot marry him it is very good of bim to wish me to do so but i do so wish that he would go and marry somebody else i am afraid he won t do that said mrs he is much too anxious to marry you well then he must remain anxious for the present at all events please don t talk about it any more i won t her cousin replied you shall not be worried i have no doubt that mother you more or less yes yes she does and she plays into his hands she arranged this visit here with you it is all very tiresome i tried so hard to get out of definitely saying no however he would go the whole length and so he must just put up with my answer from that moment mrs did not again mention the subject of her cousin s love affairs she certainly had some sort of an affair in she said to her husband a little later she practically acknowledged it really i don t see what is the good of mother worrying about getting her settled and all that after all margaret has six hundred a year of her own and therefore it is perfectly unnecessary to worry about her future at all if she never anybody she would be able to live by herself and be perfectly comfortable	30
on her income the thing is mr replied that she is just the sort of girl that people want to marry well i don t see why mother need worry about it if doesn t marry it will be very much to have margaret unmarried i fancy mr said in a musing tone that was a bit attracted by margaret i fancy so well that of course would be a much better match than captain oh i don t know about that is not as rich as no not as rich but of course she would be my lady that is not everything said he wisely very near to the truth well anyway i am not going to spoil her visit by worrying her she declared i gave captain his chance aud he didn t pull it off and so he must just look out for himself another time i am not going to set margaret against the house by worrying her now margaret was quite unconscious that sir edward had the least idea of even thinking of her as a possible wife sir edward was middle aged inclined to be scientific and dull and as a matter of fact her visit came to an end without any such idea having occurred to her at all it was well into november when she once more found herself in prepared to spend the rest of the winter in that select but not too interesting community and who else was there mrs asked when they were sitting over the drawing room fire together on the evening of her arrival at the oh people kept coming and going there was a sir edward and lady and two daughters not bad sort of girls at all and there was a colonel and the miss manners and two charming boys called and continually people coming and going from the neighbourhood oh it was very gay and very jolly i enjoyed myself immensely yes it is a gay house by the bye in a very casual tone did captain come whilst you were there yes he was there and of course nothing no dear nothing came of it you know you knew he was asked when i went over i do wish she said wistfully that you would not worry about that poor man s love affairs he won t thank you and it is always bad to try and things of that kind if we were to marry and the marriage were to turn out an unhappy one we should both blame you for the rest of our lives much better leave such things alone and let them come about as they will perhaps so said mrs doubtfully but i do wish yes dear i know you do wish it but what is the good of wishing if your wishes could be fulfilled you would only make me unhappy why worry about it at all it seems to me said mrs looking at her g a woman niece that you have no interest in life like a young thing ought to have dear me how different the girls are now from wliat they were in my time in my day every girl had her affairs and every girl loved to talk about them but you and seem as if you were both never me and i never worry said the girl no it is just as if you were two young who had pledged yourselves to your husbands memories it seems such a waste of life such a pity well that may be so dear but i am quite sure that it is best to let us all make or mar our own lives without trying to help one way or the other and tell me what has happened in the town anything well yes is going to be married yes she is engaged to a man in the what here yes to a captain he is very good looking not much money but of course will have plenty and they are perfectly devoted to each other it is absolutely ridiculous mrs went on so you see there was nothing in it about captain as you said oh wasn t there not on his side no but was very much gone however i am very glad to hear it and i will go and see her to morrow and so the following morning margaret took her way to hear the latest news of her friend she found her at home and happy and then she congratulated her and heard every detail of the wonderful news and laughing comments on her for how could i be so silly she cried looking at margaret with radiant eyes why he never even looked at me and i was quite on him but not really you know not really why i wouldn t marry any other man but frank in the world i couldn t i have had little dreams and little affairs but this out everything he is simply perfect you have no idea how perfect he is and in love with me oh it s quite touching i am sure it must be said margaret it must be and how glad you must be that you had not engaged yourself to anyone else very near to the truth i am seriously and when are going to be married six weeks to day she answered and you will be my won t you i oh no you must not ask me dear you must let me off that i could not be a i really could not but you were to was oh but that was a long long time ago you must not ask me i should not be lucky to you and i would rather not you must not ask me to be a i could not it is impossible there is nothing impossible about it	30
why should there be remarked who had set her heart on it why because i should not be happy oh i could never be a you must not ask me dear you want fresh young creatures who would only bring you luck and happiness and i should be just the reverse ah said wisely but i was right about that affair of yours in you must have been very hard hit oh no oh yes you mean why it is not so long ago when you and i were really girls together that you could not keep a secret not to save your life you out everything it was notorious at madame s that if you wanted a secret kept you mustn t tell it to margaret north and yet when you thought i was over head and ears in love with captain you kept it to yourself that he was over head and ears in love with you all the time how do you know well he went to he was there for weeks he lived in the same hotel he hung round you all day like a dog waiting for a morsel of and you refused him and then when you went over to castle he came and you refused him again who told you that none of the said holding her friend s hand fast i heard it from totally different sources and i put two and two together and i am right well it would not become me to say whether you are right or not said margaret who was rather taken a woman by this revelation i am not engaged to captain and i am not going to marry captain at least not as long as i think as i do now i did not tell you because i thought if you were fond of him i said in a mild sort of way and i thought it possible that there might be some between you and that a marriage might eventually come about and if that had been so i would not like to have spoilt it by any hint of his liking for me you were always a brick said between tears and laughter i never had such a friend as you and i shall never have such another but don t ever think twice about my happiness now i never could have believed that any life could be so happy as mine is and when you see frank you will understand what i mean but you will by my oh no don t ask me it can make no difference to your happiness whether i or others are in your train and it would make me wretched please if you love me ask me to do that one thing she went home with the old wound aching almost as fiercely as it had ever done she to be oh what a mockery she found mrs and just sitting down to lunch so had no excuse to get away and keep her pain to herself she could not even sit down and indulge in the misery of thinking to say nothing of indulging in the luxury of tears have you been to see mrs asked yes then followed a of questions when the marriage was to take place where y go for their what clothes she was having what people had had to say on the subject and finally mrs remarked in a matter of fact tone of course you will be one of her it seemed to margaret as if she was never able to get away from her old life for an hour even when she was feeling almost happy some question some remark would serve to bring her thoughts back with a jerk to those two hidden years as you might bring back a bird tied by the leg no i am not going to be a she replied very near to the truth but she asked you surely she spoke of you as her chief well yes she did say something about it but i i dislike it very much and i told her i would rather not you told her you would rather not be a yes but why not dear i don t want to be her i dislike it very much there could be no reason to force me to be one unless i wished oh no no but i thought you would have been and i cannot think why you object oh because i don t think it is lucky i have been twice and they say you know that if you are three times you will never be married i thought you were never going to marry said mrs well have no intention of being married but at the same time i should not like to be three times i would rather not be a to and i told her so well of course you must manage your own affairs as you think most proper but i believe said mrs with a wise air that you are getting quite a i believe you will end by being a determined man oh how can you be so silly cried margaret with a genuine burst of laughter she escaped soon after this to her own room that blessed which had been the silent witness of so many hours of anguish she sat down in front of the and looked at herself long and earnestly i wonder am i so much altered her thoughts ran i look just the same to myself i suppose i am though i don t feel always ready to grin and and as i used to do when i was a girl was quite right if i look like a widow i feel like one i wish i had not so completely cut myself off from all idea of going abroad again this life is so	30
empty so dull there seems to be nothing to do the girls who do marry don t marry because they fall in love they marry because somebody asks them it is very dreadful but i suppose it makes very little difference to them is happy how can she be happy when only a few weeks ago she was over a woman head and ears in love with another man or fancied herself so which was the same thing what a queer little world it is she sat motionless for some time still staring at herself then she became conscious that she was twisting the little blue ring round and round upon her finger i must get off that trick she said i ought to wear other rings on this hand i give myself away i fancy they all suspect something went very near to the truth that day i am glad she does not live very near to me that she does not see me always she would soon know everything and then she fell to wondering where prince was whether he was altered what he was doing whether he still went to and fro to the little flat in the whether spy still missed her whether the still talked to her whether the plants that she had tended so fondly were still alive or whether without her care they had drooped and died and to be a she murmured oh what a mockery i oh if they knew all chapter xix blue luck we look before and after and pine for what is not the winter months slowly passed by on the last day of the year was married and became mrs francis the wedding was a very gay indeed everybody who was anybody in and lor several miles round was to the feast and was attended by a train of to be particular as to numbers a dozen of them but margaret had been arm and was not one of them she lived almost the usual life of an ordinary young lady she rose in the morning took blue for luck breakfast with her family attended to all the plants in the house always her care and invariably asked her aunt if there was anything she could do for her then if she said yes she did it whatever it might happen to be and if she said no she usually sat down and away at her lace which was still to the front although now assuming important proportions after lunch she went out s with her aunt sometimes with sometimes with both but at half past four she was always to be found in her place in the cathedral why well it would be hard to say not because she was specially religious or because she derived special comfort and from the short service rather i think because it was the one blessed half hour in the day when she could be absolutely secure from any interruption whatsoever for after five o clock she had no peace of her life on nine days out of ten there were people in mrs s drawing room for the was one of the most popular and hospitable houses in the old city mrs herself was a charming woman was still beautiful and margaret was i must own more attractive and more what the men called than she had ever been in the days of her bright and shining youth to margaret these were however but a species of torture mrs loved to have young people about her and all the smart young men of the town lawyers and doctors and and so on loved to go where they were fairly sure of meeting one or other of the prettiest girls in for a like reason the still men of the garrison found their way to the same and among them margaret had several devoted admirers it happened at the beginning of february when people were all talking about the week of ball going that margaret came in from the parish i have said before that folk always called their cathedral by the homely name of the parish and found quite a of people in her aunt s why how gay you are to day she exclaimed what has happened i don t anything has happened to day miss a woman north said the man to whom she spoke i came purely by chance i am told however that it is your birthday may i offer my congratulations and good wishes oh you are very kind she said i don t know that are things upon which we should be congratulated i don t feel any different to what i did yesterday it is very kind of you though here is a present for you margaret said passing by at that moment for me oh no dear i had my presents this morning well there is a parcel for you anyway it is a very small one but it may be none the less valuable for all that she took a little parcel off the tray as she spoke and put it in her cousin s hands it looks like she said it might be but i think it isn t said margaret putting it into her pocket what are you not going to open it cried a gay girl s voice at that moment not yet it is not really a present how do sent to last week for something i she replied oh is that all that is all you see you were all quite wrong you are so romantic you people you all fasten those wonderful on to things of no importance because it happened to be my birthday and because i happen to have got a little parcel from you all make sure i have received a present of to morrow you will have put a name to the and the next day	30
you will have engaged me to him and the day after that you will have fixed the wedding day and so a romance will be built up without any foundation of truth whatever i don t think anybody mentioned a man retorted a girl gaily margaret flushed crimson no that is true but it was unmistakable what you all meant and you are all so wrong i will have a cup of tea dear it was quite true that margaret had sent to the previous week for another supply of the fine linen thread blue for luck which she used for her lace making but the little packet that arrived on the evening of her birthday was not in any i way connected with still the excuse served it was not exactly true or for the matter of that exactly she had sent to the previous week but the little birthday parcel was from she had an opportunity of opening it when she went to change her dress for dinner and so as she closed the door of her bedroom behind her she drew the little packet from her pocket and with trembling fingers cut the string which secured it a few months before she would have hesitated whether to open it or not have been torn by doubts whether it would be best to send it back and without any acknowledgment of its contents but to day she had no hesitation the curtain had been so completely shut down that this very desire on his part to lift it again seemed to comfort her i it contained no specially costly gift a slip of paper lay just within the lid on which was written in hand for my darling s birthday paul and below this was a of cotton wool on which a which was the counter part in a larger size of the ring which she always wore she slipped it over her hand and looked at it with the tears shining in her eyes he has not forgotten she murmured it is easier to bear when i know that he has not forgotten she locked the note and box away leaving the on her arm the full sleeve of her soft silk tea gown completely hid it from sight and she went down to dinner at the summons of the feeling strangely fortified and t ht and up with renewed hope two men were dining there that evening to have a couple of men dining was mrs s favourite form of entertainment a lar je party was a somewhat serious at the old house in the close owing to the doctor s many engagements moreover he was a man who got wearied by dinner time and to whom a large was an effort and a strain to have a couple of men cheered and him without in the least degree adding to the fatigue of the day so it was a very usual thing for them to have such an addition to their dinner party i that night a woman one of the guests on that evening was an important young lawyer of the town who was supposed to be the best match in mrs had not made up ber mind whether his attraction at the was a or margaret she felt at times that it was hopeless to expect either of these widow like young women to anybody l ut in making him free of her house she always had the feeling that a marriage might in the fulness of time come of the intercourse the other guest was one of the minor of the parish a young man of means whom nobody wanted to marry and who wanted to marry nobody but one of whom the doctor had a very high opinion and in whom mrs s prophetic eye saw a possible relation of the time to come and margaret went down to dinner her heart full to overflowing with the joy of the message which had come to her from her paradise in far away to make small talk with those two indifferent and to her uninteresting men to listen to her uncle s time worn jokes to perceive with amused and yet eyes her aunt s palpable little all of she is very dear and good her thoughts ran but she ought to bear in mind the wisdom of the proverb surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird and all the time ringing in her ears or at least sounding in her brain repeating themselves in her heart were those few tender words written on a slip of paper for my birthday just that and nothing more after all what need was there of from him to her what need of of that love which had been given once and for all time she had never doubted the depth of his affection for her she had never she could never imagine for a moment that she would ever be ought but the star of his life why then was the coming of that little simple ornament the cause of such joy and exultation to her whole being because love the wonderful had just the same power to touch her life with gold and hues as he had had it is so strange this wonderful power i remember once hearing a man say to his daughter who had declined to marry a certain man for the very good reason that she loved another why should there be any difference between one man and blue for luck another why should you not be as willing to marry tom as dick because he is dick she replied i don t see said the father what difference that can make a man is a man nothing can that yes replied the girl a man is a man but a man is not t ie man margaret was	30
very gay and bright that night once or twice her cousin looked at her with amazement she laughed more often and more merrily than usual she the whole of her which was usually carefully wrapped up in paper to show the two gentleman how her work was and what are you going to do with it the eligible young lawyer asked to do with it oh i am going to finish it yes but when you have finished it what are you going to do with it then oh i don t know nothing i shall put it in a drawer you will wear it won t you oh no an unmarried woman could not wear lace like that perhaps you are going to save it for your wedding dress he suggested thinking if the truth be told how utterly charming miss north would look in the bride s attire the smile died from the girl s face more likely for my she said shortly her brief spell of gaiety seemed to be utterly she rolled her work up carefully the paper over it once more and although she was as kind and sweet in manner as ever there were no more gay bursts of laughter no radiant smiles only a sad gravity the needle no longer flew in and out of the dainty like work but she sat back in a corner of a big listening to the music which she had ed her cousin to give them her right hand clasping her left arm so absent so unconscious of their presence was she as long as the music lasted that when at length she found herself in her room she saw that the which had brought such joy to her soul had made a deep in her white arm a woman my wedding dress my wedding dress her thoughts ran how blind they all are they are all blind except him before she slept that night she opened her desk and drawing a sheet of paper towards her she wrote on it with firm fingers margaret thanks you not a word more or less then having folded the sheet of paper and put it in an envelope she addressed it as usual and locked her desk again well she had cast the die had gently and with hesitating fingers raised the curtain from his side on her s she had not expressed any displeasure at his action in her strained and unhappy state of mind those three brief words written on a sheet of note paper conveyed a distinct invitation to him who stood on the other side to with her again but when they reached they conveyed so little nothing of what to margaret s mind they had seemed to convey so much well she had received his message to her and she had not rejected it so she sent her brief word of acceptance in reply and then sat down to wait with what patience she might for what should happen next chapter xx with her own hand the mind has a thousand eyes and the heart but one yet the light of the whole life dies when love is done i may as well say at once that when received margaret s note he was living by himself in the pretty flat which had been their paradise the place was perfectly unchanged still acted as major still did the work the only was that margaret was not there and that no longer kept up the of calling himself with her own hand margaret s letter was brought to him by one evening immediately after dinner brought in fact with the coffee he took it carelessly enough but when the had left the room he tore it open with eager trembling fingers margaret thanks oh the of feeling that into that man s heart margaret thanks not a word more she had not cared to wound him by returning his gift it was true but on the other hand she did not care to please him by a more gracious acceptance of it he had never known margaret he told himself this margaret was f ome strange new being that he had never really known he had only fancied during those two happy years that she was all his as he was all hers he had waited until her birthday that purely personal which they had previously ke t with such joy and love together he had waited till then and he had his brains to think of some offering not too costly not so costly as to excite suspicion among her people something which would link the and empty present with the full and lovely past something which would touch her something which would appeal to her something which would give her a chance of lifting the curtain were it ever so little and perhaps of coming back again if she had found her life in england more than she could bear and the only response that came was margaret tha you nothing personal not a question not a sign of no desire to know how life had gone with him bitter hour oh blind eyes oh mistaken aching heart what possessed you all that dark night that you saw nothing beyond the three simple words of margaret s reply but it was natural that prince did not write again to margaret he accepted those three words as being even more final than her letters upon silence between them which had reached him so she watched and waited for the answer which never came for the further lifting of that wall of fate which she herself had let down with such a firm and resolute hand between them the days wore into weeks and the weeks into months until two years had gone by since that fatal day when desolation had come into her life if prince had read	30
between the lines or shall a woman i say had read under the one line of margaret s letter to him i think it is more than probable that i should have had no further story to tell of this life the nine mouths of her existence in england had bored her to she was alike weak in body and in purpose it scarcely seemed worth while trying any longer to be satisfied with the life which she knew to be right she was weary and tired of the company of that sad figure in its black and sombre hood true the good angel had ceased weeping and margaret fancied once or twice she had caught sight of a pale wan face but the eyes were still downcast the whole attitude was one of and there was no in the good side of the picture it was as as those old pictures of heaven wherein we are depicted as sitting on golden benches for ever and for ever through the countless ages of eternity on golden and singing with an endless terrible dead monotony and every day the fair and radiant angels on that other side grew fairer and more radiant still all that was painful in her life had passed right out of her memory the fact that she had been able to go into society of no kind seemed as nothing to her now that the best society within reach was hers freely and there had been times during visits to when she had been dull oh worn with but even these times now seemed only like quiet and peaceful pauses in life s journey it is always so we are always prone to believe what we want to believe and to think what we wish to think to see evil and harm in what we dislike and margaret was no exception to the general rule however did not write again a whole year went by her birthday came and went and no precious came from him she never that it was entirely her own doing he is tired he has forgotten i could not expect it to last for ever she told herself well it was all over when her birthday came again and no sign or word reached her from she knew that at last was dead to her she had not spent the whole two years in she had paid a visit she had gone to for a few weeks with mrs she had stayed a month with in town but with her own hand ill between times she had of course made her home at the and came across her path twice he came down to and twice he left after a few days without having actually put a certain question to her again he did not chance to be in when she paid her visit there to that is to say mrs francis but she had had the misfortune so she told herself during that visit greatly to attract a brother officer of captain s who had paid her the most devoted attention and either did not see or would not understand her many hints from mrs this gentleman easily learned all margaret s habits and a few days after she arrived at for a month s stay with her aunt mr appeared there also just as captain had done before him put up at the same hotel attached himself to the two ladies and at once assumed the position of their most intimate friend the episode ended as such do the night before his leave expired mr asked margaret plainly whether she would marry him and margaret said no i need not go into the details of the conversation she told him as kindly and as she knew how that what he wished was out of the question and although her answer was a regular to him he took it quietly like the gentleman and good fellow that he really was this happened at the beginning of june shortly afterwards mrs went back to and the following day margaret went on to london to pay a visit to mrs almost the first person she saw in london was captain she could not do anything she could say nothing he was in the same set as the he was rich he was very much sought after and in truth one of the best matches of the season to margaret s great comfort and satisfaction however her cousin did nothing which seemed in any sense to throw her in captain s way still it was practically impossible to get altogether out of it for he was to almost every to which they went and he was evidently one of the most intimate friends of the household the weather was glorious during the whole time and the a woman season an gay one the went everywhere and to everything and to margaret it seemed that they had scarcely time to breathe and none at all in which to think once she came near to another declaration from captain but she managed to it by what young men passing call the skin of the teeth it happened one day when he had driven them down to on his coach mrs occupying the box seat during the down solely on condition that margaret should have it on her return my dear said margaret hastily i could not let you take a back seat it is quite impossible yes i particularly wish it said mrs who was a very generous little woman i especially wish it and when i am with i am always perfectly happy and i simply insist on it margaret you are very silly you are too unselfish it is not it is proper that you should have the box seat if you say any more said mrs decidedly i shall go back in a with and you can just get	30
party i must go i am due in charles street not later than twelve i am sorry i have had a lovely time captain i hate going back after this quiet paradise to put on a low body and go into a hot drawing room but i promised and i must go you ll forgive my running away won t you let me slip away quietly your other guests need know nothing about it oh that does not matter but tell me how do you get back i have my victoria here that is at least i mean i have the here and it will be waiting for me now i won t say good night to the others i will slip away and nobody will be the wiser but mrs was too important a person to slip away the whole party was roused in a moment and the idea of moving towards home once put into their heads was a general that it was time to start well of course said the little lady waving her hands you must do as you like about that but i will bid you all good night i have barely time to get to my party before it is over and were it not that i have promised i would have stayed half an hour longer with very much pleasure there good bye she shook hands with the host and waved to the others got into the and was driven away i wonder said a man standing near to margaret in a voice why that little woman has got the down to night eh said the other seems funny on a hot night like this to drive in a all the way from to by herself h m got somebody at the comer i should say oh what a shame margaret broke out what s the matter said who was near her oh didn t you hear that what a shame to say so yes yes people think those things in london you know people think every man must be in love with three or four women and every woman in love with all the men she knows it s very wrong it s very unjust but then the a woman world is unjust what do you pay lady must you really go i think it is very unkind of you his tone changed as le turned to a lady who was bidding him good bye however words had no effect one aft r another the large party said farewell and themselves away in their various the last to leave were enough the margaret and captain now shall we give you a lead or will you give us a lead said captain to mrs i really don t care just which you think is the best for your dear little i should say as we have a pair that we ought to give you a lead don t you think so yes i think so too he replied that being just the arrangement that he wanted so mrs got into the victoria and margaret settled hers in the little and two minutes later they started for home punch is not in his best form to night said captain as the victoria shot away from them i am afraid they will out distance us very boon just as well then that you did not undertake to give them a lead said margaret smiling there is something in that he said rather besides i could very well give them a lead at least i did not want to do so to night i wanted to have a talk to you chapter xxi why not a sorrow s crown of sorrow is remembering happier things i wanted to have a talk to said captain turning and looking down upon her by the light of the stars yes said she rather faintly well somehow although mrs is very good and i know her so well i never get a chance of being really quiet with anyone that always comes of being a friend of the house oh i don t think would wish to prevent you said margaret in rather formal tones why not i am sure she wouldn t said heartily mrs is everything that is good aud considerate and kind and i know that she wishes me well but at the same time one cannot re talk with any comfort in somebody else s house i think you have had plenty of opportunities of talking to ma said margaret trying to put off the situation by lightly and it must be owned succeeding very i have not the one that wanted he returned promptly miss north margaret you must know what it is that i want to say to you don t say it she in a shaking voice i must say it i have gone on now for years god knows that i have been if ever a man was i thought at one time there might have somebody else but the years go by and to the front margaret why won t you have me oh i thought that you had given up all idea of that she exclaimed in great distress i have thought that you were my friend i am your friend yes but i mean only my friend i do not want to marry anybody captain i don t think that i am a suitable woman to be married but why i don t know perhaps because i am perfectly happy in the life that i lead now most girls you know perhaps i know more about girls than you do but most girls from the time they leave school until they are my age love to love to talk over their love affairs and to m what their life will be when they are married bat i i don t	30
think about that at all i think i was born an old maid you used to be as pretty a han at as ever i saw in my life he broke in oh when i was very young yes but not now and that is why i want to marry you if i wanted to marry a who could i could find a dozen tomorrow in ttie art but i shouldn t want to marry margaret nor h in that case oh why do you want to m margaret north she cried because he said very tenderly and laying his left hand over hers i have never seen any woman in a woman my life who could fill the place you have won in my heart i am not a sort of chap running about after women is not my line i have not away my affections on eveiy girl i have met if i had i should have forgotten you long ago no i fell in love with you the time i ever saw you down in dull old and i have loved you heaven and myself only know how much from that time until now my dear child be added do you think unless i was very hard hit that i should have taken after at your bands as have done do you think that i should have gone away cut up by your repeated and stayed quiet for a weeks or months till i had got over it aud then have come back again no men don t do such things unless the feeling is too strong for them to resist it for a time i thought there might be somebody else but as i said just now nobody else comes nobody gives even a sign of bis presence why then cannot you say yes to me margaret made no attempt to withdraw her hand from the cover of his she felt that the hour which she had been trying so to avoid had come at last and that she must go through it as best she could you know the reason why she said in a low voice she did not look at him but straight into the darkness over the little s head margaret he said holding her hand a little more closely don t you care for me any more than you did ob i like you she answered i think a great deal of you believe me i do but am not in love with you it is no use it it would be cruel to tell you any differently i really don t love you a bit i don t fancy said he that you know what love is perhaps i do not sometimes i think so too it is not my fault if it is so i cannot help being as i am oh if you would only try to forget me a man never forgets the one woman he loves he put in she could not help starting do you think not i am sure of it he answered in a tone of conviction i wonder well i wish that you would try to forget me s o he said i won t try i would be very sorry to try it would be a mere waste of time but you don t really care for me she exclaimed why not yes i do i really care for you i think if you did she went on eagerly that you would not ask me again if i were an angel i might not he said laughing in spite of his anxiety and his interest but as i am only a man i admit that that is beyond my power margaret i shall always ask you i shall always want you oh don t say that she broke in why should i not say it it is true think for what life is you are now what three well you have a very fair chance of enjoying your life you have a charming old home to go back to whenever you like you are young and for the present you need not worry about what will happen to you but have you ever reflected that when ten years have gone by or twenty years when you have lost the bloom of youth and perhaps the dear old people in are dead and gone and there is no longer that pleasant home to fall back upon when you are tired of visiting your friends have you ever thought of what your life will be like then i know your circumstances because you have told me of them yourself my dear child when you come to live on your own income perhaps in a little flat or house of your own don t she put in yes he went on because i want you to i want you to look forward you say that you care for nobody else and that you are not thinking of marrying anybody else so that you need not think of love if you do not wish to do so but you must think of what your life will be when its present shall have passed away and be entirely altered think of yourself alone living alone dying alone think of yourself with nobody with whom you have a right to live nobody from whom you have a right to expect sympathy think of yourself with nobody from whom you have a right to demand care and love why the picture is perfectly horrible yes she said in a frozen voice the picture is horrible in truth up to that evening she had never really looked into the future not into the future of the far distance that is to say since leaving paradise she had been possessed only of a desire to get through the present to her the future was	30
kindest best and most thing in giving yourself to me you won t keep me waiting i have been so long hopelessly standing outside the door of your heart you won t keep me waiting now will you no she said you shall do everything that you like she felt at that moment that in giving him her dead heart in exchange for his which was living loving and with passion the least that she could do in return for all that he had promised to do for her was to submit her will entirely to his a month he said eagerly yes a month if it will please you it will please me oh margaret don t you understand what this night is to me are you so are you so you said she broke in looking at him through the dim light that you would not make it hard for me that you would not expect too much and yet already you are me with my want of feeling forgive me he muttered i am beside myself i beg your pardon humbly you would be perfectly justified if you took back your promise at once oh but i will not do that she said why should i i don t think i should like you not to care for me so much over the yes i know perhaps some day i shall feel like that too but in her heart a voice said no you never will i said will teach you to feel like that if you are willing to learn it will be an easy task i am willing to learn anything she said in a tone only don t hurry me i used to have a master who taught me music and who tried to teach me singing it was when i began first i was then and he was very french and very he used to say when i was singing oh you hopeless girl i never teach you to sing with passion you have no passion in your fingers no tone in your voice don t sing it like that sing it this way and then he used to sing oh if he had tried till crack of doom i could not have sung like that it wasn t in me i only thought how desperately in earnest he was and what a fool he was to be so much in earnest and so anxious about me i think though she ended if he had not hurried me so i might have learned in time a little more than i did he never had the patience to let me even get hold of the tune i could not read at sight and i had no voice but he was so impatient he used to take a song that he knew word for word and note by note a song that he was teaching to hundreds of girls and when i stumbled over the very elements of the thing he would jerk my arm and cry no no no you must sing with passion how could i sing with passion i did not know the first few steps you cannot run a race before you learn to walk he hurried me but i shall not hurry you said smiling upon her and although perhaps i do know the song word for word and note by note i swear to you that i have not taught it to hundreds of other women when and margaret got back to the house in queen s gate they found mr waiting for them on the pavement where is your servant he asked oh he has gone home but you are coming in well to tell the truth i never thought of the possibility of coming in at this late hour answered i will send one of them out to hold the for a few minutes you cannot possibly go on without coming in i don t think i ought to keep the standing about a woman said it s a pretty stiff spin from and he has come home well yes i but he can have something thrown over him you must come in i don t think i will said and was not easily persuaded to alter his plans when he had once made up his mind on any particular course of action i will come in the morning he added in an to margaret very well good she replied holding out her hand to him good night he returned he held her hand a moment longer than was usual and looked at her by the light of the flickering lamp above them take care of yourself he said in a very low voice then released her hands and turned to again my dear chap i would really rather not come in to night he said in a tone that admitted of no remonstrance say good night to your wife for me i hope she won t be any the worse for her drive through the night air and the next moment he had turned the round and was trotting leisurely down the road i will go straight up to bed i am tired said margaret going into the dining room which was on the left of the door you will have something before you go no nothing thanks good night dear but is not captain coming in no he has no groom with him he wouldn t come in asked him oh well good night she was halt way up the first flight of stairs before came back into the house going to bed he remarked yes i am very tired good night he bade her good night and went into the dining room h m poor chap he remarked not again said mrs i think so he t come in he was very about it and	30
he looked at her significantly and bade her good bye in a farewell for ever sort of tone poor devil i never was so sorry for anybody in my life upon my word i don t know what he can see in the girl reflection oh there s plenty to see in her remarked mrs march who admired her cousin immensely h m i don t know where you can see it however must look after his own affairs i m sure you have given liim opportunities enough i wonder he does not look out for somebody else perhaps he will now mrs suggested did he look very bad yes he did he looked at her in a sort of good bye forever style and said something i couldn t hear what poor fellow i don t wonder margaret wanted to get out of the way it isn t as if there was somebody else you know there never seems to have been anybody else of course she has had lots of s and been admired and all that but she never seems to have cared for anybody t is so odd such an affectionate girl as margaret used to be well you lave done your best and old has done his best and it is not the least use worrying about it one way or the other said her husband she must just abide by the consequences chapter reflection the old wound if stricken is the the old hope is hardest to be lost meantime margaret had gone wearily upstairs to her own room she locked the door and without throwing off either her hat or cloak sat down on a chair in front of the dressing glass and thought over what she had done well she had done it she had put her hand to the plough at last and there could be no looking back on this side of the grave she felt that she had done a w thing she felt that nothing could be more wrong than to go on as she had done for more two years living in an atmosphere of and of never satisfied longing that she loved still with all her heart and soul was felt not her fault but rather her misfortune and there was one thing she could never forget that was another woman s husband she knew that if he had come back in answer to her last message she would pro a woman have been to resist the temptation of being with him again and she felt that as another man s wife she would be safer she felt that nothing but the tie of marriage would prove an effectual bar between them should she ever meet him again she was sure of one thing that it would be easier for her in the future than it had been in the past she felt that she would have less temptation to think of him in a and fuller life and at least she would have the satisfaction of knowing that she had given happiness to the man who had been absolutely faithful to her after all if her life was ruined that was no reason why s should be ruined also and surely the best end that any ruined life could be put to would be to keep another from suffering the same manner of as had wrecked her heart and soul she carried with her wherever she went a little box of it had been a present of s to her in the early days of their life together she had always used some such little box for away one or two things she did not care to leave loose in her ing room her and clothes and her ordinary letters she had never in her life locked up as so many women do but from her early school days she had always kept one little treasure box upon her dressing table this small her only one contained very little she opened it then and turned over the contents vith tremulous fingers and a cold cold chill in her heart on the top of all lay the slip of paper which had come with the blue still on her arm on which was written for my darling s there were the two or three letters which she had received from him since their parting a curl of his thick black hair and a superb photograph of him taken in and beside those there was nothing excepting a certain paper written in russian the same one which she had taken to the russian on the last morning that she had spent in i won t burn them to night she said shutting the lid down again and turning the key but before i am married everything she always wore the key which was a gold one or rather which had an ornamental gold handle upon her watch chain and she put the watch ba ck upon its stand and began slowly to reflection i must give up this i suppose she said drawing off the little blue and looking at it and yet i have worn it so long just as i have worn the ring won t it be remarked if i leave it off now will not my leaving it off now that i have engaged myself to him make people fancy it was a love gift in the past they all me about my lucky i had better go on wearing them surely it is better to do that than to raise any suspicions in his mind somehow the thought of confiding everything to never occurred to her in truth i do not think that many women placed in margaret north s circumstances would have thought it necessary or wise to reveal the whole story of their past of such a past had margaret done so it would to a certain	30
dress and that if you are late you will lose your appointment with madame olive i am going i am going i am going i shall see you both at lunch you will stay turning to oh yes thanks i shall be charmed said he i was going mrs march declared i should have gone in two minute i assure you i really did not need such a palpable ko perhaps not i did not give it as a hint except for your own good you would have been the first to blame me if you bad lost your appointment with madame as for me i am above hints of that kind and it is now half past eleven you forget my dear how time slips away when you are excited yes you are quite right i must go she waved her hand to them and ran downstairs that she might tell her the wonderful news he received ib with many expressions of surprise and also of satisfaction and now mrs cried i must fly or i really shall lose my appointment with madame chapter pray heaven for a human heart and let your selfish sorrow go from that time forward margaret north could not be said to possess any mind of her own it seemed to her many times that took possession of her body and soul he wanted her to go here there and everywhere and he certainly began as he meant to go on you look very pale be said to her when mrs had disappeared closing the door behind her yes i feel very ill you are not already oh no of course not there is no of course about it you took a long time to make up your mind and you might have fancied you made a mistake yes i might but i have not done so she replied she was standing up by the chimney shelf idly arranging the many little figures which adorned it drew near to her a woman k dearest he said drawing her to him you have made me very happy i am glad of that she answered putting her hand in his if only i can always make you happy have you any doubt of it he asked of you no of myself yes i have always doubted myself i have no great opinion of margaret north i assure you she said smiling at him although with every word her heart sank lower and lower than it had been before in truth i really cannot tell what you can ever have seen in me why he answered tenderly i see everything in you i see the one woman that i have ever loved in my life i cannot imagine a life in which i should not see everything in you you have kept me waiting for so long dear you have kept me so completely at arms length that i began to feel i could never win you and now that you are really and truly mine the world contains nothing more that i can or do desire margaret shuddered of a truth it hurt her that he was so satisfied in his victory he never seemed to that although he had won her promise he had not yet won her heart and perhaps no more bitter thought can come into a woman s mind than this however the next moment almost indeed as the thought across her brain captain spoke again when i said that the world had left me nothing more to desire i did not mean that you left me nothing to wish for because of course you told me last night that you were not in love with me well i don t know whether i even wish you to be in love with me what i she cried no i think i would rather teach you to love me than have you love me without because a woman who can love a man of her own free will must of necessity be easily won and i value your love so much that i would rather win it with some difficulty than have it as a voluntary gift it will make me feel more sure when i have accomplished my task that you are all mine i shall always know that one so difficult to win has been won by nobody else i don t altogether see the force of that said margaret she thought as the words left her lips what a j foolish thing she had said at least she added hastily i don t know perhaps you are right at all events i give myself to you captain very freely and very i will do everything to learn my lesson if it is possible i think he said you might begin by leaving off calling me captain yes i am quite willing of course to you by your name i couldn t go on calling you captain after i married you could i she said seriously he aloud at the notion if you would call me as my own people do he said gently yes of course it is a charming name i never knew that your people called you i fancied that you were always called never at home always from the time i can remember anything and you are quite sure he said presently that you don t dislike me oh no do you think so little of me as to believe that i would give myself to a man whom i disliked why what nonsense i like you immensely you are the best friend i have in the world it always pleases me to be with you i could not imagine marrying anyone else but you are not anxious to marry me no it is best to be candid with you i think i am not much like other people but dear don	30
i don t but such words as yours make me feel that it might possibly be so that s all a woman then they went down the stairs together stopping to get his hat and stick from the table in the hall i fancy i left my stick down here too said margaret searching among the various sticks and in the stand now when you are ready i am really quite ready he said half then they went out into the bright morning air passed across the road into the park choosing the and most retired road in all that wide and lovely expanse for this their first step on way together chapter xxv memories but will it mend the road before to grieve for that behind after this the news was soon all over the town captain wrote at once to dr and all his women relations came and called upon mrs and margaret now as a matter of fact was very well off for relations in the first place he had three handsome sisters all in london at that time all younger than himself all well married and all rather pleased that their brother should be thinking of settling down and taking his proper place in society i am really very glad that dear old is settling himself said mrs when she called the following day at the house in queen s gate of course i don t know your cousin very well but i am very glad that he has chosen her i have seen a good deal of my brother the last five years especially since he left the service and was more or less in london and i assure you the way that he has been run after has made me quite indignant and it is a great pleasure to me and a great satisfaction to me to feel that he is going to marry somebody whom i have not seen him with attentions of that kind no the attentions have been all on the other side said mrs somewhat indignantly yes that of course i have seen for myself they ought to be on the other side there is something wrong memories about a woman who has to do her own as it is my brother s engagement is an unbounded satisfaction to me but he has had great attentions from families with whom i really should not have cared to identify myself so you see it is a great pleasure to me to come and wish miss north every happiness and prosperity the other sisters who called later on gave vent to much the same kind of sentiments we shall do everything we can to make margaret feel welcome and happy among us said mrs who was the next to appear for many reasons i must say that i am very pleased that she and have made a match of it i am more pleased than if he had married any other girl that i know in london yes i am sorry that she is not at home but you will tell her with my love won t you that i came to her my best congratulations and to say how very pleased we all are that she and have decided to make a match of it and i hope she will come and see me any afternoon about five when i am generally at home but i am always to be found on sunday of course if they have any engagement i shall not expect them but if they are doing nothing it will give me much pleasure to see them next sunday afternoon but these of course were but preliminary to future friendship each one of captain s relations made a dinner party in margaret s honour mrs also gave a large dinner party in return and so the month sped happily on the days indeed seemed to fly there was no thought or question of margaret going back to excepting for three days during the week preceding her wedding she was to be married in town and was to be her only she had no time to think during these four brief weeks for besides all the of a brilliant season that was dying hard and unwillingly she had also to find time to attend to the details of her costly to arrange with mrs who should be asked to the wedding and to receive and acknowledge wedding presents which her in hundreds you will let me come down to with you said a few days before margaret left london oh do you care to go she exclaimed it is such a dull place a woman i like to go he said rather wistfully i should like to go for reasons of al i want to be in the place where you and i first met for just a few days with you and shall i tell you margaret i have been so unhappy in i would like to take my revenge out of the old place and feel that it had paid something of its debt towards me just as you like she said and i would like to buy you something at the big where we used to look in at the windows to see what new things they had got so if you don t mind i really would like to go oh just as you like i shall be very busy all the time i must turn all my things over i have many clothes and which i should like to give away or destroy before i give up my little room for ever but why don t you bring them to oh doubtfully would you i think so there is plenty of room there and you can turn them out at your leisure what sort of things do you wear oh i have hosts of possessions music books pictures photographs dresses all manner	30
of garments things that i shall never wear again some of them may as well go to but others i should not dream of taking there however you will be able to occupy yourself you will let me have time to do this particular work won t you why surely i am not your you must do what you like you must always please yourself in everything you have only to say to me stay in town and i should certainly stay i only ask as a favour that you will let me go with you then said margaret suddenly as a favour i say yes you certainly shall go and we will walk about together and be very sentimental together and say here i behaved very badly to you that you certainly did he exclaimed what oh did you not mean me to say that no said margaret i think you might very safely do so he said taking her hand because you know you did behave very badly to me memories and we will walk about the gardens and we will go to the parish and we will get the key of the assembly rooms and explore them by daylight i don t think said margaret in a suddenly chilled tone that we need carry our so far as that i have no very pleasant memories connected with the assembly rooms no said he nor i oh how badly you treated me that last set of balls before you went abroad haven t forgotten i she cried yes you i haven t forgotten what was the fellow called a russian or or something i remember him nonsense she felt that she had turned white to her very lips and she rose from her seat and crossing to the window began to the plants standing near the front of it it is all very well for you to get up and the question my dear said but you must know perfectly well that you behaved like the little you were in those days i never said she no no i never knew a woman that did not before she had been married ten years at all events however i will forgive you i will forgive you and love you all the more because you were not ready to drop into my mouth like the ripe cherry that is exceedingly kind of you said margaret gravely she escaped then into her room on the plea of dressing for dinner oh how her poor heart was beating her face looked scared and strained even to her own eyes oh will this often happen her thoughts ran will this often happen will he remember more will he ever put two and two together and make a horrible plain detestable four of it oh what agony it is why did i ever promise to do this thing what could i have been thinking of oh paul paul if you could know what a my life is but there he has forgotten he has found a new life i am nothing to him i can never be anything to him again what is the use of a woman and after a past which has gone by for ev r oh how wicked i am how weak how foolish why cannot this man s love satisfy me he does love me he loves me better than that other one i know it i see it in every glance he gives me he is straight and honest and true he has no past to come between us no it is i who have a past but not to come between us because my past is a past without any tie my past is a past which does not count she into her dinner go n under the impression that she was very late and rushed downstairs full of at what she conceived to be her bad usage of her future husband but to her surprise nobody but captain was to be seen why she exclaimed in amazement i thought i was ever so late not at all it still wants five minutes to eight but how quickly you have dressed and got back again not at all i dressed here ah that accounts for it i did not think of that i thought i was ever so late she exclaimed tell me tell me truly was i ever unkind to you in those old days well in not giving yourself to me then yes i think you were unkind but not to mean it darling never to mean it no she exclaimed in the same odd breathless voice never to mean it i swear to you never to mean it i don t think i understood then i never really knew you and if i was unkind i i am sorry i will make up to you in time to come yes if i live i swear that i will chapter a burnt sacrifice the world goes up and the world goes down and sunshine follows the rain and yesterday s sneer or yesterday s frown can never come over again within the week they made the journey to together margaret was strangely affected by the return a burnt sacrifice to the old city as they drew near to the quaint white walls and tall cathedral towers of the place wherein she had met her happiness and her fate the place wherein she had suffered so utterly and so she grew quite excited and nervous my dear cried he soothingly as they caught their first sight of the parish towers my dear child one would think you were expecting to find bo at the station to meet you oh no it is not that yet i feel quite nervous at going back again you see i never expected to come back with you it	30
is the thing in the world i wonder how people will look and what they will think of it what does it matter what they think what you think is the principal thing i oh i feel so strange at coming back again you must forgive me if i am a little mad at first oh here we are at the station and there is dear old uncle henry on the the doctor was indeed waiting for them ah my dear little girl he said as margaret jumped from the carriage and almost herself into his arms what pleasure to see you again though it is scarcely worth coming for such a little visit well i am glad to see you very glad to see you and the two men clasped hands as men do who like each other i suppose you have not brought much luggage my child no dear uncle very little only in fact that box under the seat and s then come along i have the carriage waiting in less than five minutes the three were quickly rolling towards the cathedral on the other side of which the lay and said margaret how is oh very fit very fit indeed upon my word i don t think she has been so well for years very much looking forward to going back to town with you oh i am glad of that cried margaret oh look there is old miss in a new gown why i don t believe she has had a new gown for ten years is she not smart and i declare she has got a dog fancy miss with a dog yes she has quite out lately the doctor ex a woman the fact is she has had a left her quite a handsome and she has been as jolly as a sand boy ever since i her most about the dog whenever i see her ah how are you miss how do you do waving his hand out of the window oh dear how small it all looks margaret exclaimed to yes and after town particularly so from that moment until she went to bed margaret had not a moment of peace the doctor ushered them into the morning room at the where was waiting with made tea with which to refresh them she about margaret a good deal and made feel himself a doubly welcome guest and she a good bit also my dear margaret she said i really think you ought to go and dress for dinner because we have a few people dining to night and you know the doctor upon half past seven dinner always oh have you a dinner party margaret exclaimed well dear i thought as you were only going to be here three nights that it would be nice as you were going away to be married to ask a few people to dinner particularly those who had sent wedding presents so i thought it would be nice you know how your uncle hates big dinner parties i thought it would be nice to have just a few people each evening i am sure it is very considerate of you dear said margaret feeling utterly ungrateful i will go at once and dress because i don t want to disgrace either of you just in my last week of freedom too she found when she reached the familiar draped room once more that she had but barely time to make herself look indeed four guests had already arrived before she went into the drawing room the evening was like most other evenings passed under such conditions in an ordinary cathedral town of course margaret and the wedding were the chief subjects of interest and mrs had arranged the many beautiful presents which had been sent to the to await margaret s coming in the big of the window and when dinner was over margaret had to examine all these and to express her delight and satisfaction a burnt sacrifice in the possession of them then when their guests had all gone and had the lovers into the little inner drawing room and had gone back to the larger room to play something to her mother margaret began to cast about in her mind as to what excuse she could make for going to bed she thought of one or two time honoured but at last looked up at him and said would you be offended if i go to bed not in the least well you know i am rather tired and i have a good deal to do to morrow and i would like to get to bed i will go into the drawing room and talk to the ladies a little while and then perhaps have that smoke with the doctor to which he invited me before he went out oh has he gone out yes i think he went to see a patient or something then i will just go and say good night to you will say good night to me first he said yes yes am i likely to go without saying it she asked reproachfully good night good night my love he answered she went then into the larger room he following her dear she said bending down over mrs s chair i am going to bed good night oh but why so soon dear well i am rather tired in fact i am very tired don t keep me up she crossed to the piano and kissed then with a look and a nod to went out of the room quietly closing the door what a strange thing it is that an action so small as closing a door should be so significant to margaret north it seemed that night as if she had closed the door of her old life behind her at last she was free only for a short spell it	30
is true only for a few brief hours yet for the time she was secure and free from interruption mrs had never in her life gone into her in the evening except in times of serious illness and although she was exceedingly fond of margaret was in no sense with her in short margaret s bedroom was sacred a where she could be free from aught of the world save thoughts she locked the door turned up the gas and slowly took k a woman off her gown slipping on in its stead that very tea gown which she had worn on the first evening of her return from it was very shabby now and had been washed many times but margaret had a particular affection for it and although it was far too much the light of other days for visible wear yet she clung to it for use in the privacy of her own room then she opened the door of the closet and one of the large trunks lifted out the tray and carried it to the table near the window her and relics of were not many a thick packet of letters those that he had written her since their parting and some few that he had written to her during his visits to a few concert some birthday and new year s cards and a dozen or so photographs of her special in there was also the smiling face of standing out in startling contrast to the fair and placid of there were also a few views of and of the places which they had visited together while on their short for a long time she sat almost motionless surrounded by these of the past then with fingers she held them bit by bit piece by piece to the flame of the candle until only a heap of blackened ashes lay upon the hearth to tell of what had been there before even these she disposed of for she gathered them carefully on the of the coal pan and opening the window scattered them to the soft breeze of the night air then she opened the little silver bound jewel box and one by one she committed its precious contents to the destroying flames until at last only an empty box a curl of black hair and a photograph of taken in remained to remind her of what had been the outward and visible signs of her dead and gone past i cannot burn that she muttered under her breath as she stared at the thick curl of hair i must keep that one link of my darling past oh cannot i even keep that one photograph she cried and yet reason told her that it would be dangerous to do so that oblivion was the safest and for her the only course but the curl of hair just that one black curl that could tell no tales it would comfort her and it would make no difference to him a burnt sacrifice neither the man she loved nor the man who loved her need ever know that such a was in her possession nobody need know she would put it away in a little envelope and a sheet of paper and write upon it there had been an at school with her in paris a black eyed irish girl who had died quite unexpectedly after only a few days illness if any questions were asked about curiosity could be easily satisfied and suspicion so she put the curl of hair back in the silver bound box then came the question of destroying or keeping s portrait well it was no use hesitating it had to be done she might just as well be brave and do it without hesitating without this weak perhaps had long ago broken up that paradise in the perhaps he had twisted s neck perhaps spy had been drowned or given to some other woman nay perhaps some other woman had been in her place she had no proof to the contrary he had not answered her last letter had not communicated with her for more than a year and a half why then should she hesitate to destroy the of him who had ruined her youth and broken her heart she would be firm and so holding her breath and keeping one hand on her heart to still its wild and painful beating she thrust one comer of the photograph into the it was soon over she carried the blackened dust of what had once been the of her heart s love to the window and scattered it to the winds then she shut the window down and the little box once more turned down the lights flung off the white gown and got into bed poor margaret it was a at the altar of fate a burnt sacrifice that her very soul but that night saw her only weakness from that time she shut the door with a resolute hand upon the past she did not again allow herself to think of or of but steadily went through the business of the short visit arranging and of her various and finally returning to london in company with mrs and three days later and margaret north were made man and wife the knot was tied in the presence of a large and fashionable congregation with the a woman help of several of the church and nobody shed a single tear many people remarked how modest and the bride looked in truth she never once raised her eyes from the ground from the time that she went into the church until the time that she came out of it she went through the ceremony like a woman in a dream and not for one moment was image absent from her mind she had so hard not to think of him she was determined from that time she would never	30
look back from that time the past should be dead to her and yet when she found herself wearing robes in a veil at god s altar her to the man who had proved his love for her by ve years of patient waiting it was voice which rang in her ears s hand which clasped hers form which stood beside her oh terrible terrible day she shivered as she stepped out into the bright sunshine was he to walk beside her all the rest of her life in this terrible ghost like fashion no no as the carriage turned away from the church door she raised her eyes for the first time and looked at the man beside her it was not it was her husband chapter c l a v e r h o u s e closer closer let us knit hearts and hands together where our fireside comforts sit in the winter weather o they wander wide who for the joys of life from home from london the newly married pair went to travelling thither in the one day but by easy stages such as and love of her own choice margaret would have preferred to go anywhere rather than to germany but as she had no reasonable excuse to offer for their not going to she simply in her husband s plans as a matter of fact had or fancied he had a tendency to or he was not very clear which and ie fancied that a spell of in august would keep his enemy at bay during the rest of the year he might have been right but he really had never anything in his life and doubtless if he had had more to do these of which he dignified by a special treatment would never have been noticed at all i think he said to margaret the day before the wedding that if we go to we can put up there and cross the next morning then we can go on to do you know i have been there she replied well we can put in two or three days there can we not it s a nice little place anything you like she replied so was decided at least the first part of their journey how shall i describe their life together i hardly know he was devoted to her passionately in love and somewhat suspicious suspicious of what it would be hard to say but over and over again he asked her during that first week if she was perfectly certain that she really liked him and over and over again he heard margaret that she liked him better than anybody she knew that she was exceedingly fond of him and that she was perfectly happy why should you ask me this so often v she exclaimed at last one day when they were driving in beautiful because he said looking at her i am so desperately anxious to have you for my very own somehow i don t seem to be any nearer to you than i used to be years ago you don t give me the idea that you care a rap for me oh nonsense don t spoil everything by such ideas as those she said gently dear old she went on putting her hand into his i told you honestly when you asked me to marry you that i was not a kind of girl yes i know and you took me with all my thick upon me i never pretended to you did i that the were not there so dear because we are married now i don t think it is fair for you to expect me to turn round all at once and do in a moment what is exactly contrary to my nature a woman no i m a fool he cried i m a fool he bad taken to calling her since the marriage and now he turned to her in the fast gathering darkness for they had dined an hour before and caught her hands in his with passionate i am a fool he said a perfect brute i know i shall disgust you i who meant to be so patient with you for years afterwards margaret never thought of her without a shudder although they went no nearer to than every incident of their daily life but served to throw her memory back to the years which she had spent in the german capital she had no associations with naturally because she had never been there before is a place which well known people who from circumstances are not able to go into society can visit and yet every day that went by every walk that they took every excursion that they made every time that she passed through the streets of the bright little town she had always before her the possibility not to say the dread of meeting to all outward seeming they had a brilliant time was a man who knew everybody and who had been immensely popular both in his regiment and in his london set he was a person accustomed to society and to living more or less in public and having no reason for keeping out of sight they naturally went everywhere and knew margaret s worst fears did not come to pas and her anxious eyes were not troubled with the sight of s close head and broad shoulders towering above the general run of men passing to and fro in the little town there were many there that year including a grand duke and a great many people of the highest rank but fortunately was not among them i don t believe you like the place said to her when they were on their way from to no i don t care for it she replied that is a pity because it is the sort of place	30
one wants to go to often at least one might have to go there every year i only hope he added that you will like when you see it oh yes she answered smiling i am sure to like but a little german bad is different altogether everything is so primitive and so uncomfortable at least so i rather wish you know that our entry into was over oh no why should you the people will be delighted with you and they are the kindest souls in the world you mustn t have any idea of nervous with them you don t know how nice they will be to you no i not but i wish our entry was over all the same as a matter of fact her entry into the cradle of her husband s race was really a very much more formidable function than even her dread imagined for the had been popular in that particular part of the country for centuries and was as popular a as had ever reigned in the days a week later found them steaming into the little station a mile and a half from itself they re all waiting for us said he had been peering sideways so as to get a view of the station oh i m so frightened she exclaimed ob i m so frightened do you think they will expect me to say anything yes of course they will oh what shall i do i wish i had not come tell me before we stop what shall i say what ought i to say my dear child he replied taking her hand and holding it for a moment you have just got to say thank you as sweetly as ever you can and to look pleased and all that sort of thing and if you can manage to say that you think you will be very happy at i think that is all they will expect or desire but don t look scared like that or they will get an idea into their beads that i have lifted you his words however did not tend much to take away the frightened look from her face or to bring the colour back into her cheeks she was as pale as a ghost when she stepped out upon the platform and trembled violently when a hoarse shout of welcome went up to greet her it was a most trying affair altogether from the station to the village the carriage moved but slowly along a crowd of trotting steadily along a woman side as escort at the entrance to the village a still greater crowd awaited them consisting of all the older people and the women and children there the carriage was brought to a stand still and the horses been a couple of ropes were attached to the vehicle and the bride and groom were dragged in triumph down the village street and along the broad avenue to the great entrance doors of the castle of then assisted his wife to alight and they had to stand on the great steps while the principal tenant read an address of welcome and this was answered by himself who held his wife s hand the while and spoke for her spoke indeed for both of them then margaret shook hands with a dozen or so of the most important people and somewhat yet graciously and with much simplicity of manner asked them to thank all her husband s people for their kind words of welcome to her tell them she added that i know i shall be very happy among them and that i shall never forget to the end of my life the warmth and kindness of their first greeting to me i will try and repay them in time to come thus the worst ordeal passed over what followed was easier and less nervous work for her within the hall all the servants were gathered together to welcome their new mistress and margaret spoke to each one sweetly and kindly and then she was free to learn something of her new home tell me said when they at last found themselves alone what do you think of she turned round to him the said you never told me you had such a great place as this it me oh but why i don t know i don t think i am at all suitable for this kind of home it is so big so unlike what i have been used to i shall never do you credit here what nonsense he exclaimed with a laugh you ought to have had a wife to whom this kind of place would be nothing but that wife would not have done for me my dear child he said you are talking nonsense the most nonsense you are surely not going to let a house make itself a nuisance to you after what are a few rooms more or less it is you and i that are the most important of our contract there is something in that she admitted yes there is something in that but you never told me that it was such a big place no you see i was bom here it doesn t seem so big to me by and by when we have a of people staying here you will find yourself wishing that i would add a new wing or two t don t think so she said however a few days later when all the family from far and near came to make merry with them she knew that had been right in bis assertion that the place was not any too big after all to a girl not troubled with many relations the of the family seemed to be enormous will it be a part of my duty she asked when he showed the lists of those who were coming to	30
and of those who were to be put up by his eldest sister lady at some three miles away will it be part of my duty to understand exactly the place of all these people in the family because i never shall not at all i will give you a idea of and so on he answered i manage your very well she said there is lady and sir john and the they are reasonable enough and there is mrs and her children and mrs who has no children but then there are your i shall never learn your my dear child he replied my are very capable of taking care of themselves they will teach you their without your troubling to learn them first yes i tht y will in time but it will only be in time it will be like being to a or something tedious of that kind then having learned your and their and your three and their families then i come to your second cousins ought i to know your second cousins no you will get to know them all in time to him it was a very reasonable thing to have of second cousins all entitled to wear the and all looking to him as the head of the house a woman i don t think second cousins ought to count said margaret i wonder if i have any second cousins i should think so he returned very possibly somewhere or other if you only knew where to put your hand on them yes it is not impossible certainly but thank heaven i don t know she exclaimed with by the bye said he there is one of my second cousins this girl pointing to a name on the list that i should like you to be a little civil to yes why well poor child she s a and all that but her mother was nobody very particular and it was a marriage that didn t turn out well this girl was the only child and was left a few years ago practically she isn t a nice girl that s the worst of it and she has always been treated as a sort of as if she were no use to anybody and that sort of thing which is about the real state of things i ve always been sorry for her poor little and yet a more little one could hardly come across poor child how old is she old oh nineteen twenty i won t be sure is she pretty margaret asked pretty oh dear no a sort of insignificant little thing oh you would never look at her at all she is nothing anyway only poor little thing she s alive and she has to be provided for don t you know where does she live margaret asked she lives with my aunt the unmarried one you know i should think aunt leads her a pretty rough life of it on the whole she is such a regular old maid and rather and ghastly keeps scotch and all that and this poor little thing was brought up by her mother in france until she was about fifteen and when her mother died aunt took her i think myself she would have been happier if she had been into something to earn her own living not that it was necessary we never let our less fortunate relations go begging and it would have been sheer madness to refuse aunt s offer to take care of her and give her a home but i always feel sorry for her poor little thing though i can t abide her aunt i will take care of her said margaret bravely as far as your aunt will allow me oh aunt won t trouble about her very much she will have some long with the nearest doctor and probably she will have an illness or o during her visit aunt is a ghastly old person always preparing for her latter end and making a parade of it always putting her house in order and that sort of thing i don t think you know that we shall have to ask aunt here very often i should hope not said margaret chapter aunt by the kindness of her ways she made sweet the days a few days later when the gathering of the began miss otherwise aunt bringing in her train duly made her appearance at it was a lovely september day line and bright and clear with no signs of approaching rain but aunt arrived in a high state of and with a conviction that she had taken a severe cold on the journey i hope you have brought a to meet me my dear boy she said to who had gone down to the station himself my dear aunt he answered i have brought a and several hot water bags and a little brandy and a cup of excellent beef tea which is being warmed in the waiting room at this moment i assure you we have taken every precaution all the i i don t believe youve got a cold because i don t believe you could catch cold to day even if you tried however only time can decide that question and here s how are you oh thank you i am all right said in a meek little voice well now i will take aunt in the come along aunt let me put you in and make you thoroughly comfortable i wonder whether you would like to go in the break with the luggage turning to the girl a woman oh yes i should so much is always ready for gaiety said miss in a voice my dear aunt returned in tones of remonstrance i don t think even you can call s sacrifice in going	30
the luggage she is always glad to escape from i only hope miss added that she will not chatter too much to the coachman oh no said margaret laughing outright now aunt since you let me call you so is there anything else that i can do for you nothing my dear said miss in expressive tones then i will leave you and go and welcome the little girl now as a matter of fact the little girl as margaret called had arrived some ten minutes before not a soul was visible when she entered the large house had been called out to the stables to decide some question about one of the horses and margaret was as we know a prisoner in miss s room aunt as margaret went down the long corridor she saw one of the men carrying a box on his shoulder disappear in an opposite direction that poor child has got here i wonder if has looked after her t she thought she ran lightly down the stairs and to her dismay found standing in the hall my dear i am so sorry not to be here she said kindly and putting out both her hands in welcome i was obliged to go upstairs with miss to see that she was quite comfortable in her room have you seen i have not seen anybody said meekly oh what a shame you must forgive me i quite thought would remain here to take care of you oh it doesn t matter said in a crushed voice i would have gone to aunt s room only i did not know where she was to be this time don t trouble about me mrs nobody ever does oh but somebody will now you shall not be neglected i promise you but tell would you like to go up to miss s room now dear or to your own or what would you like to do best i think i had better go up and see if aunt wants anything said then come i will show you the way oh no i cannot let you go upstairs again yes yes certainly i will go with you margaret cried oh no if you will just tell me the room that will be quite enough declared no i will take you up indeed i am going up to my own room which is almost next to yours she turned and led the way laying her hand lightly on the girl s arm i hope my dear she said that you are going to enjoy yourself very much here oh thank you i have to do as aunt wishes about that said hesitatingly i must see if i cannot manage your aunt margaret said smiling at the of aunt s dignity i will look after her you must remember that you have chiefly to thoroughly enjoy yourself and you know we are having very gay doings on my account a woman margaret felt quite over with pity and good intentions towards this child of the house of this poor little girl who had been taken in out of a feeling of dutiful charity who had taken the place of her aunt s maid and had for sole companion a dreadfully and lady of something of more than a turn of mind poor child her thoughts ran as she closed the door of the pretty little bedroom behind i must take that dreadful old lady off her hands as much as i can dear me i wonder how an old thing can get to be like that i must talk to about it she passed into her own room and made some slight touches to her toilet then went downstairs just as the was sounding for afternoon tea in the larger of the two halls she met her husband oh she said in some reproach why didn t you stay to look after that poor little girl poor little why of course she answered i went upstairs with miss and she kept me ever so long talking about nothing and when i came down there was that poor child standing here looking forlorn and wretched and my dear girl i never gave her a thought came and fetched me to look at one of the horses and i never of her from that minute to this still she has been here before and she knows the ways of the house she knows which bedroom aunt always has and she should have made herself more at home i don t suppose she minded she didn t seem exactly to mind poor little said margaret only she looked so crushed so wretched well she does do that and it s very he replied indifferently however she will be all right now i wouldn t worry about her if i were you i am not exactly worrying said margaret only it did seem so unkind didn t it oh well she will be all right somehow you know dearest she is the sort of girl one never does consider not because she is not well off or anything of that kind but she is a bit and that sort of thing as a matter of fact i really dislike the child intensely s fate oh no don t say that well i must say it because i moan it but you are too good too great an angel to live you don t know how you have won poor old aunt the old girl talked about the blessed beef tea every of the way home and told me plainly enough too by jove that all the times she had come to stay with me i had never thought of sending beef tea to the station which was true enough well dear said margaret it does cheer you when you feel ill to have a little thought of that kind my dear girl she is	30
and her figure had nothing to distinguish it one way or another for the rest she had good enough features a nice little nose neither too large nor too small very white and good teeth and slight little nervous hands i cannot help thinking margaret said during the course of that drive i cannot help thinking that your aunt is much more ill than any of you believe my dear child i have never heard her complain so little for years past i not but she has such a look and it is not natural it could not be natural for any woman in comfortable circumstances to be so gloomy as she is ah that is her particular he said carelessly all are the same margaret s ideas however proved to be right for before the new year was a month old miss was taken ill with a sharp attack of and after suffering for a few days quietly gave up the fight and died the old lady was not much missed or deeply mourned in fact nobody was grieved or even especially sorry she had not been loved it is not an unusual circumstance in the life of unmarried of gloomy views her numerous relations went into decent black and a great many wreaths found their way to the little church at where all that was left of the old lady was taken the day previous to the funeral as many of the as were within reasonable reach arrived at during that day and there when the short ceremony was over the old lady s last will and test was read to the assembled family miss had not a very large amount of property to leave but she certainly disposed of it in a most extraordinary and for manner to she left a sum which she directed should be put in the so as to bring her in one hundred pounds a year to her faithful old servant she left an for life of one pound a week to mrs s eldest daughter her and name sake she left one thousand pounds to lady s fate s second daughter also her she left a similar sum to the poor of she left one pounds and a like sum to the minister of the parish in which she had lived during the last fifteen years all the rest of her property she left to the estate making captain her her jewels which were somewhat valuable she divided between her three and margaret her silver she left for equal division between her two her wardrobe she to when the voice of the lawyer had died away into silence captain got up from his chair and walked to the fireside i am very much surprised at my aunt s will he said shortly have i the power to refuse to be no replied the lawyer you have not that power if it were simply a matter resting with yourself you would have it but as the remainder of the property is to the estate you have no choice whatever one way or another then rejoined in the same sharp tone it is no use discussing the question otherwise i should have applied that money to another purpose they did not long remain in at least the lawyer with many apologies for leaving so soon himself away and the younger members of the family all streamed out into the hall among them i can t tell what aunt can have been thinking of said mrs no indeed returned lady but aunt was always queer she never did anything like anybody else i think it is so silly to leave your bit of money like that as if split up into little pieces it could do any good to anybody and what is to put in himself looking round upon his sisters and with a blank gaze i don t know said one nor i added another well one thing is very certain said lady with decision that i cannot provide for i have quite a large enough household as it is and my daughters are getting quite big girls now and it would not be fair to a woman them to have a girl of that kind in the house i am quite willing to do anything in reason to make a provision for her but not to have to live with me i won t have her said mrs with equal decision i cannot declared mrs i don t think it would be fair to james to suggest such a thing besides i cannot bear her i would not have her in the same house with me for the world but left her a hundred a year put in one of the coldly my dear aunt a young girl of s age cannot live on a hundred a year said in disgusted accents how old is asked the old lady i don t know how old is i really cannot say but i think she must be twenty or i know she is not of age yet does nobody know when comes of age i believe not until november said mrs i fancy her birthday is in november of course i shall be very glad to add a hundred or two a year to the hundred that aunt has left her said oh i will allow something with pleasure cried his three sisters in almost the same breath yes but how is she to live said she can t live by herself even if we make up four or ve hundred a year no that is true said lady aunt jane you have no young people in your household couldn t you make her useful in some way aunt jane however did not see her way to it i really could not consent to receive as a member of my household she said stiffly i am quite willing	30
ever there comes a day when you feel she is a burden to you or an annoyance to you you have only to speak to have her removed at once after all there are plenty of where we can safely place such a girl as she is for a consideration chapter xxx a poor little weed kindness in women not their looks shall win my love so became a member of her cousin s household when and margaret returned to the castle he took the first opportunity of telling his sisters what decision they had arrived at lady was the only one who in any way approved of the plan i am sure it is kind of margaret to take so much upon herself it is far more although you are the head of the house than any of us could have expected of your wife i think it shows an exceedingly good feeling on margaret s part and i only hope that will repay her with the gratitude which such generosity and such true deserves we could none of us have said a word if margaret had definitely declined to her in any way more especially as there will be children of her own to think of by and by yes it was true that there was a prospect of an heir to a woman the old house and the whole family being very were excited at the thought of the great event hope said lady in any case that margaret will make of some use she has stayed several times with me and i have always been struck by her singular lack of ability of course in a large family like ours if were a nice bright attractive girl she might have had a lovely time moving about from one to another well i don t know for our purpose said whether that is not really better than having a girl who has too much understanding i don t agree with you said lady promptly i believe everybody is the better for having a certain amount of mental capacity is singularly deficient in mental power it is a weak little face a shallow little head and a useless little body altogether which only makes margaret s kindness and goodness more real and more apparent an hour later somebody tapped at the door of margaret s bedroom come in she replied when the door opened it was who appeared and came hesitatingly into the room oh mrs she began is it true you are going to let me come and live with you yes my dear putting out a kind hand to her it is quite true oh how good you are she exclaimed how shall i ever thank you how shall i ever repay you i won t be a nuisance to yon mrs i won t get in your way i will do anything that i can to help you and to please you my dear said margaret drawing her down to a chair near her own i want you distinctly to understand one thing that you are not coming to us in a disagreeable sense i want you to get over that manner of yours which i know poor child has been forced upon you by circumstances that manner of continually for yourself of trying to explain yourself away and in a sense of expressing yourself as if you were sorry that you were alive now in future you must just take the position in our house of a young daughter of course i am not very a poor little weed much older than you are but at the same time i am your cousin s wife and i have always been thoroughly sorry for you because you are just at the age when young girls should be bright and gay and have a pleasant time troubles come soon enough afterwards oh mrs you can t have known any troubles put in no perhaps not and perhaps i have that is beside the question my dear as it is i want to prevent your having any more troubles until such come upon you as we cannot any of us escape from you will have your own money for your dress which is quite enough you know dear for your age and i will find you one or two little duties to do such as i did myself before i was married such as i would do now if it were necessary and such as my daughters would do if i had any that will make you feel as if you had a right in the house and will not make you feel like an i don t want you to feel that i want you to feel at home but mrs you have only got to tell me ei e began no don t say that try to forget that you ever lived anywhere else make yourself at home and never let me hear you say again that it is only you and that it does not matter whether you are left out in the cold or not of course you know we cannot take you everywhere we go that would be impossible but you will have a very good time from now on and you will very likely marry and have a home of your own where you will forget that you ever had to put up with poor aunt s weaknesses and her little you are very good to me cried in a trembling voice yes well now i think we understand each other don t we you know dear i think if you take all the flowers you know you have only to say what flowers you want i think if you take all the flowers all over the house under your special care that will be your own little province that nobody can take	30
from you there are too some little things that you can do to help me when i am not feeling well or when i have not time to do them here of course as i say there are the flowers and many other little things which will give you occupation and which i hope you will a woman be happy in doing in town everything will be quite different you have never been in london have you only for a few days with aunt ah well you will understand better when we are settled there next month and now dear go down and join the others i have a letter to write the girl turned to the door then when on the threshold looked back and after hesitating a moment her steps and literally fell at margaret s feet oh how good you are to me she cried covering her hands with kisses you are not a bom why should you have been so good to me there there said margaret soothingly laying her hand gently on the fair head don t distress yourself my child what does it matter whether one is born of the same family or not oh but it does matter cried shuddering because if you had been born a i would have been pushed out anywhere no dear aunt did not push you out she gave up her maid to take you she sacrificed herself to take you and she has left you with a certain income you must never forget that don t let yourself get into the way of the whole family because they are better off than yourself you can never tell what motives move other people all the and cousins are married into other families and they have to consider their husbands likes and their wishes and their opinions so in thinking of them you must not blame them now dear child please go she had scarcely covered half a sheet of paper when a soft little knock came at the door and it was opened an inch or two to admit of a voice saying may i come in yes of course you may come in my dear sit down what is the matter mary tells me that you are going to take said mrs sitting down in an easy chair not far from margaret s yes my dear said mrs take my advice don t but why not a poor little weed well don t do it you will the day as sure as you and i sit here together but why should you think so what have you against the poor child i have not anything against her except instinct and i have never found my instinct at fault yet i would not have her inside my doors as a for any money that you could offer me oh my dear you are prejudiced margaret cried no margaret it is not a case of prejudice it is a case of second sight mark my t you will be sorry if you take as a member of your household let give her two or three hundred a year and get some smart woman in london to take her into society it would be much happier for her and much happier for you my dear sister i have never yet believed in a married couple having an unmarried girl living with them it is a dangerous thing to do margaret laughed outright oh my dear what nonsense you talk it is not nonsense said mrs with conviction it is the opinion i have formed from observation of many of my friends i have seen it tried a dozen times at least it never has succeeded yet it has always ended in for the wife my dear if could forget me or neglect me or dislike me for a child whom he cordially and i for one would not lift my little finger to prevent him why it is too preposterous why oh you of course we all know that said mrs but i cannot attempt to dictate to you margaret and i have only your best interests at heart of course it can make very little difference to me one way or another but you can never in time to come tell me that i did not warn you no dear can never tell you so but i promise you one thing that if i see life tending in the way that you have i will stop it at once ah well i hope you will i hope you will have strength of mind to do so you know of course you have seen of course aunt told you that s temper is something out of the common no has she a temper a woman oh but has she not she will not show temper to me said margaret gravely then you will be the first person with whom she has been brought in close contact so far whom she has not treated to a few of that kind said the other oh well if it is only temper said margaret poor little thing i she has had enough to try it in the past i should not have liked to live with i must say no nor i nor i only it would be better to live with aunt than to go to the yes and it is very hard for a young thing like that who looks in the glass and sees that she is prettier than nine women out of ten and who has proud blood running in her veins as has to weigh the two chances together as the only two possibilities of her whole life you can hardly expect her to think of life with aunt with her many and her terrible as being a blessing can you perhaps not said mrs shortly however i have told you i	30
have warned you and time will show whether your opinion or mine is the nearest to the truth she stayed a little longer her feet by the fire and talking on indifferent subjects going away at last with an apology for having interrupted margaret s occupation margaret turned back to her letter with a sigh not at all one of apprehension rather of pity that there should be such an element of hardness as was apparent in the character they are so nice in other respects but none of them seem to have any pity for the poor child her thoughts ran one would think that i was taking an arch x into the house a person of proved of mind and habit a poor little weed like that oh what a strange thing life is baby fingers chapter baby fingers in that stillness which most becomes a woman calm and holy thou by the fireside of the hearth feeding the flame during the few months of her married life margaret had strangely altered not in appearance although time had lifted from her eyes the shadow which had so them during the years which had elapsed between her return from and her marriage with but in herself her mind her self reliance her way of looking at things she was singularly changed she did not often allow herself to think of the past when she did she knew that she had done a wise thing in marrying if she was not brilliantly happy she was at least no longer wretched if she had missed the greatest happiness of life she had yet found a new existence which was full where before life had been terribly empty she had learned to do something better with her life than to continue for a past which could never come back again she had found something better than that aching longing for a future which could only be hers through death and if she was not passionately in love with her husband she at least loved him very deeply and truly with a love that was by an overpowering sense of gratitude for his fidelity and his patience his kindness and love his generosity and his goodness yes she had done a wise thing in cutting herself completely apart even from the possibility of the old life living itself over again of during the six months of her married life she had never heard one word nothing had happened since their return from to remind her in any way of his existence and although partly owing to her husband s remarks about her lucky she still wore the little blue ring upon her hand and the blue upon her arm she had almost brought herself to regard them as things entirely apart from him she was so engrossed in her thoughts that she never heard the sound for afternoon tea and only woke up from her reverie with a start when the door opened and entered the room why dearest are you all right a woman all right she said yes of course but the went ten minutes ago for tea i never heard it you must have been dreaming what were you thinking about asked putting his arm round her and looking down upon her with a wealth of in his eyes oh i was thinking about lots of things she said turning her head away from him what sort of things something very yes it must have been she replied let us go down but tell me he persisted what were you thinking of well i have had here for one thing she answered rather and what has to say for herself oh nothing to say for herself dear for me a great deal she did not tell me so but it was very plain to be seen that thinks i am a fool oh and since when did have the right to your conduct or the quality of your brains he demanded was like many other men he had a very small opinion of the mental capacity of his own women folk oh she did not tell me so in so many words said margaret smiling but she came frankly to give me her opinion about yes she uttered a great many dark sayings and says now that she has given me her opinion i can never reproach her with not having done so and what does she expect from he asked i don t think she expects anything whatever from but only a great deal of misery and between you and me what nonsense she told me that it would not do that such an arrangement would not succeed that it was a dangerous thing to have an unmarried girl in the house and that i should fall in love with he said contemptuously well she hinted that it was possible nothing could be more impossible said i never was in love with anybody but yourself i never could be baby fingers well of course it would not have become me to tell her that would it i don t see why it is true mind i think on the whole that is right of all my women folk s head is on about the best but it is your pleasure to this little and your pleasure is my law so there need be nothing more said about it if she you in any way we will find her a home with somebody whom we can pay to take care of her if she has ordinary gratitude and good feeling she will never make herself a nuisance to you i don t believe she will said margaret you don t know how grateful she is poor little thing she came to thank me just now and she was almost too much for me she actually went down on her knees at my feet	30
for her and although as the months passed by he had become more and more in love with her and he knew that a true and deep affection had sprung up and grown in her heart for him yet there remained always a a woman lurking suspicion in his mind that there was a side of margaret s character which he had never seen a comer of margaret s heart into which he had never penetrated more than once he had caught himself asking in thought whether there ever had been any other one and yet he was not sure over and over again he dismissed the suspicion as one truly unworthy of him towards her not a sign of proof had he that margaret had ever given a single thought to any other man beside himself and yet the suspicion of an old love never wholly faded away at other times he asked himself could it be possible that she so calm so steady so level in her manner to him so passionate so overflowing with tenderness and wealth of love towards that which they called daughter had never known the love which could stir her soften her eyes flush her cheeks and make her heart ache and reason with himself as he would he was never wholly satisfied with the answer that his heart gave i think he said to her one day that i am jealous of the creature jealous of baby oh how silly she exclaimed he bit his lip is it silly to be jealous of one s wife i don t think so oh how can you yes it is silly what is there to be jealous of in me do i not belong to you for good and all i don t know he said shortly you could perhaps answer that question better than i what do you mean she felt herself growing pale as she spoke but she put the question boldly and without hesitation well you must know better than i whether you belong to me body and soul he said almost roughly yes she said in a steady voice i do belong to you body and soul and he never noticed that she said nothing about her heart speaking was on his knees in a moment my dearest he said what a brute i am you have always been so good to me so true so kind and yet i almost doubt you at times i m a brute i know it i don t deserve to have a child of my own you don t she said promptly baby fingers no i know i don t but i won t think that again you must forgive me i believe said margaret looking down at the baby on her knee that you are vexed with me because my baby was not a boy with deepest reproach and you are inclined to cold shoulder my baby because she came a girl but mark my words i will not allow it she is my child and if you love me you must love her you cannot love me without loving her can you he said catching hold of her hand love her without loving me i don t know said margaret simply i have never asked myself that question because i do love you and you know it you do he had never put the question to her since the first days of their oh can you doubt it you know that i do i grow more fond of you every day i am not a kind of i told you that before we were and if i a little over the child i don t think it becomes you to reproach me for it my dear it does not become me to even look at you i am not worthy to kiss the hem of your garment i won t be a any more it is because i do love you so deeply and so truly that i am never with the return you make me it is not a bad compliment to you my dearest at least i don t mean it to be so i not it is a very uncomfortable kind of compliment though when you come to think of it very uncomfortable you see i cannot make a fuss about my own baby for fear of the baby s father i call it ridiculous pray what will you be like when i have developed that turn for which you say all women acquire ten years or so after they are married you had better not said he darkly but if i do i cannot say i do not know i cannot imagine the situation but what would you do she asked well first i would kill the man that would be poor sort of logic and then a woman and then said i don t know whether i should kill you or not oh that sounds as if you would but oh my dear old boy what nonsense how silly for you and i a man and woman with everything that we most want to be making a bridge over a trouble which is the most unlikely one ever to happen to us in answer to this took refuge in violent abuse of himself he himself before her to the last extent calling himself every name that he could think of he made all sorts of rash promises and wound up by giving margaret free permission to herself towards him and the baby alike exactly as she thought most fit it is not unusual for men who find themselves completely in the wrong to do this sort of thing and it is a very masculine way of getting out of a it is also a very easy one chapter benefits forgot tis not enough to say we re sorry and repent and	30
yet go on from day to day just as we always went little time margaret was not further troubled with any evidences of that jealousy which was lying none too latent in her husband s character during what was left of the season she went about very much as usual they went out a great deal and they also entertained freely and had never known the taste of worldly in her life and knew nothing of the social excepting such glimpses as she had caught from under aunt s austere wing lived in what seemed to her an endless round of gaiety it all turned out exactly as margaret had predicted to her she did not go everywhere with them for that would have been impossible but she went out frequently with margaret and she really had a very good time indeed so the season faded and died and from town they went straight to much to margaret s relief never suggested a visit to somehow he seemed to have forgotten that he had ever had of benefits forgot and margaret took exceedingly careful pains not to remind him that he had once considered a yearly trip to absolutely essential to his well being a year came and went on the whole as years do when one is and happy in the august of the next year another child came to the old house and again the family had to endure a disappointment for the new comer was like the last one a girl it must be admitted that was terribly disappointed however it is useless to express opinions on such subjects and there the child was alive and flourishing with apparently no intention of being away by the and changed for a boy again he would have called the child margaret but she would have none of it any name you like but not margaret she said i dislike the name so much that i would not if i had a dozen daughters call one of them by it so eventually they called the new baby it was surprising how about this time seemed to make a distinct step forward those who had known her two years previously were scarcely able to recognise in the quite important young lady and prettily dressed occupying her own distinct place in the house as to mrs herself the crushed forsaken and miserable child who had stayed there as aunt s over and over again his sisters told that his wife was one of the most wonderful women they had ever met in their lives she has simply been the salvation of that child said lady one day to him oh is one of the most absolutely good women i have ever come across in my life said quickly she has taken infinite pains and trouble over the little but whether she will ever get her married off is another question altogether does give her any trouble asked lady in a casual tone oh i think there have been said carelessly but of course don t stand any nonsense there is no reason why she should certainly not said lady what have there been about oh well of course i have only heard of them un a woman or else i should lave miss out long since still i have heard now and then of trouble with miss s temper ah i only hope that dear margaret won t have more trouble yet i i think she has done with the girl but at the same time she is a dangerous person to have about i am convinced of it i hope you will keep a very sharp look out upon her yes i intend to do that returned and in a tone as if he meant it after a moment s silence lady changed the conversation well my dear boy does margaret expect us over tomorrow yes she does i really rode over to day to see whether you are quite sure of coming you are sure that it is not too soon for margaret oh i don t think so she is quite looking forward to it i hope you won t disappoint her she really wanted to know how many people were staying here and how many would be coming to lunch well let me see myself and john yes john is and that s three colonel four miss st george five and count six then we may expect six yes there are three or four other men staying here but they are all going to shoot with the this was at the very end of september the shooting parties at were just beginning and already a dozen or so of guests had arrived from various parts of the country it was margaret s first since the birth of the little and she had been especially anxious that her first should lady who had been particularly and useful to her during the summer she therefore received with the greatest satisfaction her husband s information that six of the house party from would lunch at the following day and who is staying there now she asked well i did not see everybody and i did not ask he replied but she and john and and miss st george and and a count somebody or other or or some other such name benefits forgot put in who had been over at during the week oh i have not heard of him said margaret oh such a handsome man exclaimed he is something i think such lovely manners he has really cousin margaret i don t know when i have seen a man that i admired so intensely we had better try to make up a match of it said i should not mind at all said the girl with perfect seriousness no i don t suppose you would however these things have to haven t they he went	30
off then on some errand of his own leaving margaret and to discuss the lunch at their leisure i must make the table look extra lovely said with deep interest i have thought of rather a new idea for it that is very good said margaret she always encouraged new ideas on s part what is it well it is an arrangement of with one another green pale tan and but my dear what sort of flowers will you have for that i have thought out the flowers too said you leave it to me i will make it look all right it will be the thing you have ever had very well you can arrange it just as you like said margaret kindly really she added when everything else fails you will be able to go out and dinner tables the remark was innocent enough but instantly she said nothing because it was not her habit when offended to discuss the cause of her annoyance got up without another word and went to the window margaret looked up somewhat surprised i think during the past twenty months she had learnt to know s temper perhaps better than anybody had ever known it in all the girl s life but for the very soul of her she could not see what cause of offence there could have been in her innocent and wholly playful remark dear me her thoughts ran now she is put out again what a queer child it is well she must just get n a woman over it how foolish it is of her she said aloud i wish you would fetch me down a clean pocket handkerchief and put a little scent on it will you i have forgotten to bring one now to a reasonable understanding a girl who owed anyone so much as owed to her cousin s wife it would seem a reasonable thing for her to fly with alacrity and cheerful joy to do any small service that was asked of her not so she went out of the room without replying and with a deeply injured air returning after ten minutes or so and offering margaret a handkerchief without looking at her what is the matter margaret asked feeling that for her own sake it would not do to let such a pointed exhibition of offence pass without remark nothing were you unwilling to fetch me a handkerchief she asked quietly oh not at all said in a very tone i am always willing and ready to do anything that you tell me to do that is as well said margaret who could cheerfully have given her a good shaking for her stupidity and her ill temper of course she knew perfectly well in what way she had offended her it being above miss s pride to even allow even in jest that she a could do anything so to the as other people s as a matter of business margaret said no more on the subject himself noticed nothing he still regarded as an objectionable and never looked at her or spoke to her if it was possible to avoid doing so so that he never noticed during the rest of the day that the young lady was distinctly on but contrived to make it very unpleasant for margaret and the worst of it was that she did nothing which any reasonable person could complain of or openly find fault with she sat at dinner there being about a dozen people at the table with a dark look upon her face which was neither a frown nor yet exactly an expression of between the courses when those on either side of her did not happen to be speaking she sat with her little nervous clasped hands resting on the edge of the table benefits forgot before her her eyes fixed on the bright which decorated it as if her thoughts were miles away and exceedingly occupied to it would have been if he had noticed it a matter for that she was not trying to the conversation in her immediate neighbourhood for when out and tried to be smart always became so intensely irritated that a shade more of the would put him into a frenzy therefore he never noticed her attitude to margaret however whose nerves were none of the strongest her injured air was but she resolutely put away her feeling of annoyance and tried not even to look at her she caught herself once or twice wondering whether it was worth while to and shelter a girl who was capable at times of making herself so intensely objectionable to her now this you must understand was no sudden thing before had been three months a member of the household she had permitted herself to with margaret over some question of dress on which margaret had given an opinion that was equivalent to a command when she had got over the first flush of her anger a little and was showing signs of coming round and being more or less margaret had taken her quietly and gravely to task had drawn a vivid picture of her position in the household and had told her plainly and that if she indulged in that kind of thing very often she would have to find a home elsewhere and had at the mention of this given in and she had dropped on her knees at margaret s feet had sobbed and wept with the utmost bitterness had buried her face in the skirt of margaret s gown had herself in no terms for her vile and wicked temper which she declared had been her from the very beginning and had eventually herself to such an extent that finally margaret forgave her and you won t tell she cried no said margaret i won t because if i once tell that you are capable of doing this sort of thing	30
made gowns the following morning when she came down in time to receive her guests for luncheon was reading a newspaper in the hall he looked up at her and let his paper drop to the ground by jove but you look well in that gown he said she turned herself slowly round for his inspection do you know i think it is a good gown she replied don t you think it a very nice colour an uncommonly nice colour and you look so smart and in it i am glad of that she said smiling you know you have very good taste in dress i always feel flattered if you notice anything i am wearing to no compliment she could possibly have paid him could have given so much pleasure as this simple remark i always like you in whatever you have on he said catching her to him with an outbreak of affection sometimes i think you look better than at others i do to day you look lovely you look why dearest you make me feel ready to fall in love with you over again what a work of cried she she passed on into the drawing room then and picked up his paper again she found most of the people who were staying in the house gathered together in the an echo from the past large pleasant room among them did not in any way notice mrs but went on talking to two young men and making rather a display of the fact that there were two of them mrs crossed to the window and sat down beside you look very smart to day said touching the folds of her light coloured gown so told me i feel particularly smart in consequence isn t this gown a success a charming gown said mrs who was sitting opposite who made it for you oh my own man i consider him very clever and he does take such pains such pains to fit one and to suit one s style i really wanted to have a blue gown but he would not hear of it he said blue would make me look yellow and that this would make me look i don t know whether it does make me look but seems satisfied she was conscious that still a little off colour as regarded her temper was holding her nose at an exceedingly scornful angle and feeling particularly gay not to say mischievous she rather enlarged upon her new gown and upon its effect upon her appearance then the door opened and entered with his sister lady my dear mary said margaret coming forward to meet her i am so glad you were able to come to day it seems ages since i really saw you then when she had kissed mary she passed on graciously the guests who accompanied her and let me present count said lady indicating the stranger whom had pronounced to be so exceedingly handsome he was a very handsome young man with delightful manners and a fine bearing for a moment there seemed to be a profound silence for margaret recognised at the first glance the courteous young attach y whom she had seen on the occasion of her memorable visit to the russian in she felt that her face had turned ghastly and that her jaw was into but by an immense effort she went forward and held out her hand to her sister in law s guest i am very much charmed to see you she said simply the young russian bowed profoundly a woman madame the charm and the honour are mine it is a great privilege to be brought to your house oh no you must not say that i don t know how long yon have been at i hope not very long because it is the first time i have had visitors for some time have you met my husband he replied with polite gesture that he had had that pleasure and then seeing crossed the room and shook hands with her almost immediately afterwards lunch was announced now being a person with a title and a attached to an important it was count s right to sit in the place of honour next to his hostess immediately that they were seated he began to discuss scotland in a tone which made margaret think that he had not in the least recognised her and as the courses came and went and his conversation was still that of a stranger she began to breathe more freely and to a faint hope that he would not remember that he had ever seen her before it was but a faint hope however for towards the end of the meal he said to her with a puzzled air surely we have met before madame i do not think so said margaret promptly true i do not remember to have met you i have not been very long in england and yet your face is familiar to me i don t often forget a face when i have once seen it i am sure that i have never met you said margaret i too have an excellent memory i never forget anyone that i have once spoken to i never forget a name with which i have once been acquainted and your name is absolutely to me so said he and yet i have seen you somewhere oh possibly i have been about a good deal she replied i cannot describe the tumult of stormy and feelings which filled her breast in the course of the last hour she seemed to have grown ten years older all the past came back to her memory upon memory crowded back upon her brain the old anguish returned to her heart and the sight of this man had been to her like turning back a leaf of the past a	30
leaf which she had believed and hoped was closed for ever an echo from the past at the other end of the table who could not hear what they were talking about began to worry at his wife s strange looks he watched her for some little time and noticing that her excessive did not wear off and that the look of desperate illness which had her face did not in any degree pass away he summoned the butler by a gesture give mrs a strong brandy and he said don t ask her if she will have it just put it down and say that i wish her to drink it i am sure this party is proving too much for her he was still watching her anxiously when the man put the glass down at her right hand and repeated his master s message then margaret looked up smiling for positively the time since count had entered the house nodded across the table to him and without put the glass to her lips and drank some of its contents her eyes said thank you as plainly as her lips would have done had she been within hearing and seeing that she was able to drink it turned his attention back to his immediate neighbour for a little while margaret talked to sir john who was sitting on her other hand then she looked up once more and found count s eyes upon her face what is it she asked her heart beginning to beat fast again oh nothing madame i was only trying to remember where i had met you he said margaret bent a little nearer to him why trouble about it she asked forcing herself to speak very quietly and indifferently don t you think that life is too short to worry about a mere fancy you have met me now that is the important point is it not most assuredly but it has always been a of mine that men who are mixed up in should cultivate their memories that they should always remember a face again and not only remember it as i dimly do yours but remember how and under what circumstances they previously saw it i think that is a very bad said margaret in some cases that might be very awkward for other people n a woman yes but it is just those cases said he with a smile wherein remembrance is most useful to us i don t think if you remember twenty times over where if ever you met me before that it will be ever of the smallest use to you don t worry about it it will come back to you all the easier for not doing so as i said i have been about a great deal and i have met many people i was never introduced to you in my life i am quite sure of it i should never have forgotten your name perhaps i am wrong said he with a gesture of acceptance chapter no more than a pin little on little rely and coward arts of mean try now nothing of this had been lost upon who was sitting just opposite to she had indeed noticed the intense emotion and ghastly with which her cousin s wife had received lady s guest she overheard his puzzled surely we have met before madame and she had not been slow to recognise the tremor in margaret s quick reply i don t think so and during the course of the afternoon for the party did not return very early to she caught more than once an inquiring puzzled look on his face and noted that margaret s cheeks did not regain their usual tinge of colour a tinge which made just all the difference between a healthy complexion and a ghastly death like whiteness margaret meantime had discovered from the cause of all this mental disturbance the fact that he had arrived at three days before and that he had come for a fortnight s visit so her thoughts ran she was to be on the rack for ten days longer oh if only memory did not help him if only some slip some suggestion some mention of her life in did not help him to remember when and where and under what circumstances he had once before seen her and spoken with her there was no possible chance of keeping out of his way the two families at and were on no more than a pin terms of the most excessive intimacy and indeed contrived between them to keep the neighbourhood going in gaiety for at least ten miles round the following evening they dined at and dined early as a little dance was to follow the whole party from went over as a matter of course including who danced beautifully indeed dancing was the one accomplishment that she possessed to perfection she was still very lofty in her manner towards margaret but margaret was so thoroughly upset and with anxiety that s attitude was no longer to her she did not dance very much and would have preferred not to do so at all she pleaded the excuse of not feeling very bright and t most of the time watching the others an awful thought came to her mind during the course of that evening what if this young should be taken by and eventually marry her she felt as if her whole life would lie bare in this girl s grasp then she dismissed the thought as preposterous no man of the world could want to marry she told herself no no my fears have made me foolish i must not think anything so silly marry ah how funny stiu he admired enough to dance four or five times with her in pretty quick succession margaret watched them disappear out of the ball room with	30
more found himself alone that there is much love lost between that young lady and madame which is a pity for the young lady in due course of time count departed from and margaret was able to breathe freely once more true he had obtained her permission to call upon her when she was in town again but as she reflected in london one has never time to breathe freely or otherwise and a young man in the very best set would certainly not have much leisure for worrying out a chance likeness or a possible meeting in the past visitors came and went and the left home to pay a good many short visits themselves so the winter passed by and in february they again moved to town it happened towards the end of february that and margaret were to join a very distinguished in the and mrs was particularly anxious for the two children with their nurses to pay her a visit at on their way south let come with them she said in her letter to margaret and i will take her to the february balls with it will be a nice change for her and if you are glad to get the children out of the way for a week or so during the moving you will be equally glad to be rid of her also now margaret really had wanted to and to give the servants a week in brook street without the worry of waiting upon anybody so that she was very glad both to give the pleasure of attending the balls and also to get her out of the road therefore she gave her the invitation and asked her whether she no more than a pin i s would like to go or not to which the girl replied with dancing eyes that she would love it it happened that for at least three months had gone on quite in the matter of behaviour and margaret really began to think that she was getting over her foolish of temper and her habit of taking offence where none was intended she gave her a couple of new ball dresses sending to town to her own for them and took a great interest in the little details of her costume while she gave her a very bright description of the gay time which was in store for her so arrived in with the two children and the two nurses she was greatly excited about the balls and full to overflowing with pretty expressions of gratitude for mrs s wholly unnecessary kindness in giving her so much pleasure i can t think why you should be so kind to me she exclaimed that first evening after dinner when mrs was explaining all the that were to come i think it is so good of you because you know i haven t the very smallest claim upon you oh my dear child it is not in the least a question of claim said mrs it gives me great pleasure to have a gay young thing to take to a few dances and you have always been very nice to me when i have been at h ow many times have you cheerfully ran up and down stairs to fetch me something i should like to know oh but i am always delighted to do anything for anybody it s my duty cried well well there is a way of doing one s duty which is not always the most agreeable mrs declared at all events you are not here on a visit of duty you are here to thoroughly enjoy yourself and i hope you will contrive to do it a woman chapter s suspicions be wise not easily forgiven are those who setting wide the doors that bar the secret chambers of the heart let in the day therefore set about the task of enjoying herself without further and everybody at the was charmed with her as indeed was everybody whom she met in in short had quite a success in a small way and finally went back to london giving herself great airs in consequence thereof before she left the however she took the opportunity of asking a few questions and acquiring a little information about mrs not plainly and oh dear no never did things in that way no she used to bring a bit of generally something for margaret and after a little in a careless and apparently wholly innocent way about the partners of the previous evening would gradually get mrs on to the subject of margaret and by asking all manner of the most apparently questions contrived to learn all there was to know of margaret s past all that is to say that mrs was able to tell her but tell me dear mrs she said one day when was safely out of the way what made mrs go to germany when she had really finished with school and had come out and all that well she had a fancy to learn to speak german well mrs answered not seeing for a moment the drift of s questions margaret was never a i think it a very good thing for a girl to have some aim and object in life besides waiting for some man to come along and marry her but did she go to a regular school persisted margaret was not at school in germany mrs replied she lived with a lady she knew oh then i she had a very good time and did pretty much as she liked said margaret certainly was not in prison answered mrs with a laugh still as a matter of fact i s suspicions believe that she had anything but a gay time in at all events she seemed much more quiet when she came home than she did when she went away perhaps suggested she had a love	30
affair of some kind oh nonsense cried the old lady laughing outright how romantic you young things are no my dear margaret i assure you was not at all the sort of girl who goes in for love affairs besides you must not forget that she was very well off and could have married almost any one she liked something in mrs s tone warned that she had asked questions enough for one day so she turned the subject and began to talk of other things still she felt that she was on the track of something that was kept back from general knowledge and her curiosity thus aroused became almost too overpowering to be borne the girl never seemed to think for a moment that if there was anything in margaret s past life which she wished her to know she would have told it to her long before oh no the idea of margaret s on the subject never entered into miss s calculations for one single moment yet when she once found herself in brook street it did not occur to to ask margaret what she so sorely wanted to know about her no she quietly took up her life again and never mentioned to her cousin s wife that she had learned anything of her long in the german capital but a few weeks later when one day she chanced to find herself dancing with count she contrived with a which would have thoroughly astonished lady who had no opinion as to the quality of s brains to lead the conversation round to the subject of mrs and she threw out a wholly in the direction of and the german language have you ever been in germany count she asked in her most innocent way i mean have you ever lived there do you speak german laughed outright my dear miss he replied i know german like my native tongue we you know pick up other people s languages very easily i think because our own is so difficult yes i know germany very well a woman i wish i could speak german said it is such a horrid thing to be really ignorant and to feel all the time that you could learn if you only had the chance but said sensibly why don t you set to work and learn german it is as easy as a b c ah no i am much too stupid for that said sadly you don t know what an awful i am my cousin she added in a casual way speaks german perfectly which cousin asked mrs answered oh did you not know what that mrs spoke german he repeated no how should i know it i don t see why she should not speak german or any other language well for she speaks french perfectly i could never get to speak it as she does cried with a very pretty air of regret because of course mrs learnt to speak german in germany that is an advantage certainly admitted what part of germany was mrs in oh in i believe answered with admirable carelessness for a moment sat quite still without either mo or speaking so still indeed was be that thought that her shot had failed she little guessed that all in an instant there came back to him a sudden flood of memory a vision of a scene from the past a full remembrance and recollection of all that had been him so sorely during many months like a flash of light the brilliant morning in may came back to him and a fair and gracious woman richly dressed and bearing in her lovely eyes the shadow of an overwhelming sorrow stood before him ask his to see me for one moment she said i won t keep him longer i am not begging or anything of that kind i only want to ask him a question how clear it all was he remembered it as if it had been but yesterday he had thought about her more than once since then and had wondered whether his chief had been able to give her a satisfactory answer to the evidently all important question which was so troubling her mind and that was where he had seen her after all what a queer little world it and how unexpectedly people up in all sorts of unlikely places and under all s suspicions sorts of strange and unlikely conditions what he found himself wondering had she been doing in and why should she have chosen the russian and the russian as the one man from whom she could obtain the information she so anxiously desired it was a strange little world and this was as strange a coincidence as he ever remembered to have come across in all his life before what are you thinking about count a little offended if the truth be told at his unmistakable want of interest in herself could not help starting as be that she was speaking to him i really beg your pardon miss he said half in confusion the fact was i was thinking of something ever so far away from england it was very stupid of me and i must shall we take another turn had no suitable excuse for continuing the conversation as to mrs s knowledge of the german tongue so they floated off together and presently having taken her to have an ice resigned her once more into margaret s care are you having a good time margaret asked as the girl sat down beside her oh yes thanks a lovely time answered quite in a tone i am enjoying myself immensely count dances yes i thought he danced very well said margaret with an involuntary sigh to the memory of another russian who had also danced to perfection i think most do dance well something in her tone made look at her	30
intently have you known many she asked carelessly a few answered margaret shortly and looking away from across the crowded room i know not exactly by what train of thought she arrived at such a conclusion but had got an idea into her head that there had been an affair of some kind in the past between her cousin s wife and count and having once in her own mind placed them on that footing it was wonderful how easy it was to make everything fit and to find in the merest trifles of absolutely conventional conduct that confirmation which we are told is strong as holy writ a woman he is very interesting she said as carelessly as she possibly could he has been telling me a lot about a child might have noticed the sudden startling which margaret s face positively rejoiced at the success of her little oh has he lived in margaret asked in a indifferent tone yes for years he was at the russian there he must have been there about the same time as you were my dear said margaret in surprise how do you know anything about my being in or what time i was there looked at margaret with a delightful affectation of surprise and answered as meekly as in the old days she had ever answered the aunt oh i am sure i am very sorry i spoke of it i did not know that there was any secret about it margaret looked at her in disgust and no little disdain far more in truth than she was feeling my dear child she said very coldly you must have taken leave of your senses what could have put any such idea into your head a secret who said anything about a secret feeling that she had made a blunder coloured up to the roots of her fair hair and murmured some sort of an apology then a thrice welcome partner came to claim her for the next dance and she got out of margaret s presence with a thankful heart margaret on the contrary sat quite still feeling as if the whole of her unhappy past was about to be laid bare before the eyes of this girl the one person in the whole world to whom she would wish such a story to remain unknown she sat there for some little time literally too stunned to move or to an interest in what was going on around her but a woman so popular and charming as mrs could not long remain unnoticed and alone almost immediately count found her out and came and sat down beside her why madame he remarked pleasantly you are sitting all alone that is not always unpleasant she replied in what she tried hard to make a conventional and every day tone i was very much amused in watching other people s suspicions may i have the honour of taking you to have supper he asked oh yes i should like something to eat she answered rising immediately he gave her his arm and led her towards the supper room pleasantly all the time and bending down to her in very much the same impressive way that had used to attract her so utterly in prince who was keeping her eye upon them partly from a feeling of jealousy on her own account and partly because she had a glimmering of an idea that was something in margaret s past that might be found out and possibly used to advantage in time to come saw them go and hated her cousin s wife yes hated her and for the first time in her life for as she put it to taking her special man away from her now if had but known it count took no more interest in her than margaret took in him margaret did indeed take an interest in him but it was not in any sense the kind of interest of which suspected her it was a vivid enough interest too yet wholly an one and such as no husband in the world would have objected to on account of the man himself i think this is a fairly comfortable place he said margaret to a secluded nook behind the door and here is a waiter yes turning to the man we want something to eat and something to drink as soon as possible you will take champagne madame to margaret oh yes that will do very well i don t in the least care what it is she replied i have very few in the matter of food and drink wherein you make a great mistake allow me to say said with a laugh he was a young man blessed with a good healthy appetite and as yet regarded eating and drinking as the universal for all woes you see if we do not lay the habit of taking a good healthy interest in our food when we are young what will become of us when we are grown old but why be at such pains to provide against a which may never arise asked margaret seriously how i do not follow you he replied why we may never live to be old she said simply then added almost as if thinking aloud and i fancy very few people really in their heart of hearts wish to do so a woman which means that you do not madame said in a low voice not particularly she replied a sudden impulse came over him to tell her that he had that very evening remembered where it was that he had first seen her but something in her sad and wistful face checked the words as they were on his lips and caused him to change the subject and talk of the thousand and one indifferently interesting things which filled their lives at that time they were still sitting there in	30
the and most way when himself came through the doorway evidently looking for here is himself said margaret with a laugh and referring to a joke of long standing in the household turned at the sound of her voice and stopped short ah is that you he said i heard that you were somewhere down here my dear i am sorry to remind you of your duty but i came across a young lady upstairs who told me miss exclaimed with an expression of horror madame may i beg you to excuse me as you have your husband to take care of you you see he added turning to with a shrug of half apology that in the charming presence of madame i forget all my duties laughed in truth he did not feel inclined to blame any man for the crime of forgetting whom he liked no better now than he had done when his wife had first her he watched go away with an amused smile and turning to margaret said will you give me some supper or shall i take you back to the ball room but margaret had no desire to go back to the hot that she might watch a crowd of trying to and doing it very badly i will stay and give you some supper with pleasure dear she said at once what shall i tell you to get i have had some chicken it was rather nice helped himself to a that was standing near them and suggested that she would look all the better for another glass of champagne you don t look at all the thing you know dearest he declared and you really are as pale as a ghost to night oh no margaret answered quickly i am a s suspicions little tired that is all don t worry about me tell me why are you so late this evening he told her all that there was to tell about the dinner to which he had been and asked a few questions as to what she had done since they had parted by the bye he said in a casual kind of way do you think there is anything in it with margaret turned and looked at him in amazement in it she exclaimed but how why with of course answered didn t you know there was something going on there i don t believe that there is she said plainly it does seem absurd on the face of it said carelessly yet just now when i asked where you were she and looked down her nose and finally said she believed you were at supper with count and that he was engaged to her for the next dance and as the dance began then i thought i might as well go and rescue the little s partner for her particularly as i wanted a decent excuse to come and him on my own account a cold chill seemed to be poor margaret from her brain to her heart for a moment as she the danger of having such a girl as about her she almost cried out that she must be got out of the house at once then she pulled herself together and smiled back into her husband s eyes you need never trouble to find an excuse to any one who is with me dear old she said gently yet very earnestly for whoever i happen to be talking to you are always the first of all with me a voice within her seemed to whisper but she thrust the vision that was up resolutely away from her with a mental that was nothing to her now and that was in very truth first of all they had not been married so long but that her words brought a blaze of light into her husband s blue eyes and a vivid flush to his fair face darling he murmured under his breath you will never know how utterly happy those words make me let us go upstairs and take a turn for the sake of they went up the stairs together and in two minutes a woman were smoothly gliding round the well polished floor to the latest dreamy which had taken the fancy of the fashionable public why cried who was again dancing with as he put it to make up for the dance of which he had missed the greater part why there are my cousin and his wife actually dancing together and why not he asked in an amused tone oh it is very queer that is all replied still iu the same wondering tone but why don t your married people ever dance together he said is there any reason why they should not do so not in the very least she said with a very frank air but it is strange for them to do it that is all mrs said so it is not to be wondered at that her husband should sometimes like to enjoy the same privilege as other men would not you like your husband to want to dance with you now and then that answered would of course depend a good deal on the husband naturally agreed the russian smiling but he carried the conversation no further and asked her the next moment if she would not like to take another turn and somehow by one of those strange and wholly unjust which most of us are able to give to the most innocent actions of others in her heart put the entire blame of count s not speaking out more plainly down at margaret s door it is on the whole a cruelly unjust world chapter a great surprise we shall never have to bide a greater or woe than the possession or the want of what we love i can hardly tell how it was but some instinct warned that it	30
would be best for him to say nothing either to mrs or to her husband or to miss of his recollection of where he had seen her previous to their meeting at i think some memory of her intense on that day coupled with an a great surprise and yet very real feeling that the little girl vas in no sense friendly towards her had a good deal to do with it so as the pleasant days of the season went by and count did not seem to have remembered the past any more clearly and indeed seemed also to have forgotten to think of the subject of supposed previous meeting at all margaret breathed more freely and grew more like her old bright self so that was more devoted to her than ever and her sisters in law sang her praises whenever she was mentioned in their presence became every day more and more friendly with the husband and wife though as plainly said to margaret it was easy to see that he had not the very smallest notion of making miss the and so of her affectionate relatives of all further responsibility and care concerning her himself particularly admired and liked the russian and margaret though she would never have chosen him for her friend yet had an instinctive feeling that it would be wiser to have him for her friend than her enemy and therefore feigned a friendliness which she did not really feel and during all this time was in a state of the wildest exultation mingled with doubts as to his intentions which made her more and difficult to manage than ever in her heart margaret was very sorry for the girl cross and and as she was she felt that poor had put all her eggs into one basket and was more than likely to lose them all she could see so clearly that really liked with all her heart and she saw with equal clearness that he scarcely gave her a second thought and that he was no more in love with her than he was with margaret herself if had been the kind of girl who would take a hint quietly and profit by it margaret would have told her all that she thought and would have begged her not to set her heart too utterly on what she felt sure was but a forlorn hope but was not at all that kind of young woman and m the face of such an bit of information as a suggestion that count had no serious intentions towards her s would for days or for that matter for weeks have been altogether too unpleasant for endurance to the ordinary mind a very natural question arises o a woman why not then get rid of miss and so save the chance of any further mischief yes but margaret was one of the most tender hearted women who had ever lived and although she only intended to go to a certain point and to stop the girl with a firm hand at any time when she went beyond it yet she was anxious to see her safely and married and therefore when approached near to that point she was willing to make all and any excuse serve to patch up a peace and to let things go on as they had done before for the went to which they filled from roof to making remind margaret how he had once told her she would some day want him to build a wing or two that they might accommodate a few more guests oh i admit it all cried margaret with a laugh i really was by the place when i first saw it were you really margaret put in in a tone she had begun to call her by her christian name of late dropping the semi formal of cousin it seems odd to us to think of as anything out of the common i it is with having always used to it which you never were said promptly never missed a chance of especially when she came any of the dignity over margaret i have known a good many years said with a touch of her old crushed air an air bye which she reserved exclusively for s benefit even if it does not belong to me now it happened that a conversation like this was enough to make a woman so sensitive as margaret nervous for a week she broke into the conversation then and said hurriedly it makes no difference whether one is born in a place or not to feel used to it or not used to it she said quickly still less whether it actually belongs to one or not of course is a by birth and equally of course she feels at home at at which laughed out aloud and looked hurt she said to him afterwards i do wish you would not say those horrid unkind things to it makes me a great surprise feel hot all over and as if i should burst out crying for half a word more i do wish you would not do it and i do wish you would get that young woman married out of hand said i never detested anyone in all my life before as i do that little she me beyond measure and makes me say things i should never dream of saying to anyone else i don t see that that is any excuse replied margaret severely i think if you knew the effect it has upon me you would never do that sort of thing again i never come so near to positively you as when you let yourself say those horrid things to it is not worthy of you it is rude and and it hurts me and i feel as if you might one of these days suddenly wake up	30
and say something of the same cutting kind to me there was a sound as of tears in her voice and caught her in his arms with a fierce sudden passion which almost frightened her dearest best most generous of women i he cried you make me feel myself too low too black too coarse to live what can i have done to have won such an angel as you all for my own don t said margaret faintly i wish you would not talk in that way i am no angel very far from that well i hope so with all my heart he exclaimed holding her close to him and kissing her passionately for i cannot spare you yet awhile and as for if it you i won t ever say a thing to her again that i promise you darling margaret put up her arm and drew his head down to hers dear old she said gratefully and then kissed her again and swore by all manner of things in heaven and earth that never should miss feel the rough edge of his tongue again and you don t think means anything he asked presently oh i don t think so margaret replied i never have thought so i know that well it does seem absurd on the face of it but from what tells me says he has all but proposed time will show answered margaret wisely a woman which was just what i said to myself exclaimed as margaret had very truly remarked time would show and so time passed on and the came to an end count bade adieu to his host and hostess and departed from without having in any way himself with as soon as he had fairly gone mrs sauntered into margaret s room and sat down in a casual way before the fire count has not said anything to has he she asked margaret laughed outright i don t think he ever had the smallest intention of doing so she replied fancies things told me that he had all but spoken and that they understood each other pet mrs remarked of course i should never have thought of such a thing but it seemed such a splendid match for her and i only hoped there might be something in it in the course of a few days they all returned to town and then margaret and went to paris for a short visit the middle of april found them back in brook street once more with all the toil and turmoil of the season before them almost immediately margaret sent out invitations for a large dinner to be followed by a reception to which she bade the principal part of their large acquaintance oh is not count coming to dinner asked in disgusted accents as she the dinner list on the day of the party i asked him but he had another engagement margaret replied oh what a pity how horrid said oh well i he will come on later said margaret and of course i could not have sent you in to dinner together why not asked because it would look too pointed replied margaret tossed her head and sat for a little while with her nose in the air then remembering that count was not coming to dinner she let the question drop without further comment by the bye put in who had been sitting in the a great surprise window reading and apparently not taking any notice of the conversation i saw just now he wants to bring a man here to night he did tell me his name but i forget it anyway i took upon myself to say that he might bring him was going to send a note up what a funny idea to take upon yourself to say that a man might come to your own house cried margaret with a laugh ah but it is your party said seriously and for anything i knew you might have been refusing people on account of numbers no no party giving is a woman s province and a man has no right to interfere with it my dear said margaret gaily very gaily for her i shall be very pleased to welcome count s friend and then stretched out a long arm and caught hold of her at which went out of the room with a air which sent off into a lit of laughter a few hours later mrs stood at the top of the fine staircase receiving her guests all fashionable london was there and an apparently endless stream of people kept steadily coming up the broad stairs until margaret was ready to drop at last however there seemed to be a lull in the crowd of and she was able to move away from the landing and go about a little among her friends to see that was being well cared for she had been through all the rooms before she came upon who was talking to a very young man and looking the picture of dissatisfaction when she caught sight of margaret left her young and drew near to her has not he come she asked not yet margaret answered kindly she was quite sorry for the disappointment and still more so for the greater disappointment which she feared was quickly coming upon her and almost as she spoke a familiar voice at her elbow said madame can i ever hope to be forgiven for arriving so late as this but indeed it was not my fault i will explain afterwards do you allow me to present to you my great friend prince a woman chapter studied indifference what s gone and what a past help should be past grief do you allow me said to present to you my great friend prince for a moment margaret was almost too stunned to speak to look	30
or even to bow or to give to the new comer an ordinarily polite and conventional greeting then she recovered herself and put out her hand to him i am very pleased to see you she said in a strange frozen voice you are rather late she went on addressing count how did it happen we were detained madame he replied detained by an accident but i was determined to come and explain if nothing else margaret said at that moment in a frightened voice do you feel faint you do look so white margaret started at the words when was near was always more sympathetic and friendly towards her cousin s wife and she spoke to her then in the most anxious tone margaret turned and looked at her a look that remembered long long afterwards and recorded against her oh no she said in a confused sort of way i feel rather tired that is all i don t believe you have had any supper margaret said who meant to go down with now that he had come then added in a plaintive tone i know that i have not in a suggested that they should go down together and looked at prince as if to tell him to offer his arm to their hostess may i not have the honour of taking you to supper madame said in a very subdued voice oh certainly i shall be glad of something to eat she replied as carelessly as her shaking tones would allow let us go down count will you and go first immediately gave his arm to who was as radiant and smiling as before she had been wretched and sullen studied indifference come he said i am sure it is high time you were both looked after meantime gave his arm to margaret who laid her trembling fingers on it and tried hard to talk in cool conventional tones as they went down the staircase together the people were already beginning to clear away a little and the rush in the supper room was oyer let me put you here said pointing to a somewhat deserted comer now tell me what can i get you champagne said margaret or stay wood will attend to us the stately person who ruled over the fortunes of the dining room came towards them and asked his mistress s pleasure there is a very nice ma am he told her yes that will do very well wood margaret who had no intention of eating or anything else she spoke only on the most ordinary subjects until wood and his attentions were safely out of hearing then she really looked at him for the first time and speaking in german said what brought you here to night the purest accident he replied literally devouring her with his sad eyes believe me margaret when told me he would take me to see the most charming woman in london i had not the faintest idea that i had ever seen or heard of mrs in all my life before you won t turn me out since i have come he added very humbly oh no she replied looking at him again and looking away instantly but it is no use my pretending to you that i would not much much rather that we had not met again you knew that i was married i knew nothing he replied i respected your wishes absolutely and at what a cost heaven and myself only know they were well hidden from view by a tall stand of plants and his arms upon the table never taking his eyes off her face margaret he said in an at which margaret shivered visibly i may call you so may not is there nothing you want to ask me nothing about the a woman little flat or the live things there which missed you almost aa badly a i did oh don t said margaret in a tone of pain no we will talk of yourself he said soothingly tell me you are well happy i don t know answered she i have everything any woman can possibly want in the world a perfect husband dear little children children echoed as if involuntarily margaret turned and looked at him her eyes dark with agony ever since that awful night when you told me all no not all but something of the truth i have thanked god every time i thought of you that i we the word seemed to be wrung from her had no little child to look out of its innocent eyes and blame me by its very innocence such a child could never have blamed you said he still gazing at her with all his soul and i may as well confess it all his man s passionate love shining in his handsome eyes such a child would have had a right to blame me she replied but god be thanked i was spared that misery which would have been the crowning misery of all there was a moment s silence and then spoke again you said that you were happy he said did oh yes yes very very happy i could not be happier if i tried ever so oh why do you pretend to me he asked very sadly you are wretched and i know it anyone can see it i am wretched too i have been wretched ever since that black night when you and i parted oh how could you do it it is time i went upstairs again said margaret rising without giving him time to say more then in a perfectly unmoved voice and in her society manner will you take me back again stay one moment he returned hurriedly i may call to morrow don t refuse me i see it	30
in your eyes on your lips margaret dearest darling of long ago if i may not call you so now don t refuse me it s a little thing for you to do an idea flashed into margaret s mind that she had studied indifference better not admit to that to allow him to come and see her was a far greater thing to her than to him he for he was to all and purposes free he had practically no one but himself to consider she was the of a family as it were the corner stone of a large household yet some instinct told her that it would be most wise for her to try as far as possible to treat him only as an ordinary acquaintance oh yes you may come and see me she replied in a graciously conventional manner but you will remember one thing that there is nothing of any kind between us nothing there will always be the past between us said biting his under lip hard that he might hide from her how his mouth was trembling between us yes answered margaret in a low tone then she suddenly looked up at him with a new fear in her face by the bye what if my husband you where has he ever seen me asked opening his eyes in surprise the very first time you and i ever met she answered don t you remember it was at i remember meeting you well enough he returned almost should i be likely to forget it but i don t remember anything about him it is not at all likely that i should what had we better do margaret asked oh tell him we have met before if he does happen to know me it will be safe if not no great harm will be done so they agreed that they should arrange therefore when they met and half way up the stairs margaret took the opportunity of saying to him your friend and i have met before count what a little world it is for some little time after this margaret s time was completely taken up by her departing guests but to whom all other women were as dead sea fruit stood as near as he could very well get to her and watched her narrowly if the truth be told her sweet and gracious manners her winning smile although it was but a cover for a torn and bleeding heart with the face and manner of the woman who bore his name and shared his honours a woman he was standing there when himself happened to past him he looked at him in a puzzled kind of way as if trying to remember where he had seen him before held out his hand and with what an heaven and himself only knew saying i am afraid i must introduce myself to you count brought me here to night i am prince i am very glad to see you said who did not recognise him in the least have you seen my wife i was presented to mrs when i came said wondering how much the other remembered of the past but to my great surprise i found that i had had the honour of meeting her before really said still remembering nothing she does meet a good many people where was it i had not met her as mrs replied it was when i was in england some years ago i had the pleasure of dancing with her at was that so said who began to have an indistinct memory of those old days i had not the smallest idea that i should know my hostess when i came said in a polite tone ah it s a queer little world said carelessly but i am delighted to welcome you to my house as any friend of s and the more so that you and my wife have met before you are more than kind returned with a bow you have had supper asked in that curious abrupt way which is so very english thanks yes i had the honour of taking madame to supper replied courteously passed on then leaving free to indulge in his fascinating yet wholly painful occupation of watching margaret of comparing her in her gracious later beauty with the more girlish that he had known and loved years before as for margaret i am bound to say that she behaved with the most admirable and perfect nerve she stood on the wide landing speaking graciously and brightly to all who came and went turning now and again to in his capacity as s friend and either introducing him to those who stood near or speaking to him studied indifference as she would have done had she really never seen him before she was exceedingly pale but self possessed and apparently quite at ease almost fancied that she really had ceased to care and that she was only upset more or less by his fearing perhaps lest the past might all come to light and so wreck the honoured dignity of her happy present it is needless to say that apart from his intense and overpowering love for her he had never so utterly admired her as at that moment and he determined that he would at least take advantage of her not very willing permission that he should call if only once in order that he might satisfy her that he had really and truly kept faith with her and that he had been utterly ignorant of her identity when he had been brought to her house having arrived so late naturally did not leave particularly early and equally therefore did not leave before him so he on the landing until margaret began to think that	30

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