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you were mr sir the would go on with rising spirits and it would be better for all parties better for our and better for yours too you wouldn t have to worry no one then sir you wouldn t have to worry us and you wouldn t have to worry yourself you d be easier in your own mind sir and you d leave others easier too you would if you were mr mr in whom these compliments produced an irresistible never rallied after such a charge he could only bite his nails and puff away to the next the bleeding hearts would then gather round the whom he had just abandoned and the most extravagant would among them to their great comfort touching the amount of mr s ready money from one of the many such of one of many rent days mr having finished his day s collection repaired with his note book under his arm to mrs s corner mr s object was not professional but social he had had a trying day and wanted a little brightening by this time he was on friendly terms with the family having often looked in upon them at similar seasons and borne his part in recollections of miss mrs s shop parlor had been decorated under her own eye and presented on the side towards the shop a little fiction in which mrs rejoiced this poetical of the parlor consisted in the wall being painted to represent the exterior of a cottage the artist having introduced in as effective a manner as he found with their highly dimensions the real door and window the modest sun flower and were depicted as flourishing with great on this rustic dwelling while a quantity of dense smoke issuing from the chimney little indicated good cheer within and also perhaps that it had not been lately swept a faithful dog was represented as flying at the legs of the friendly visitor from the threshold and a circular pigeon house enveloped in a cloud of arose from behind the garden on the door when it was shut appeared the semblance of a brass plate presenting the inscription happy cottage t and m the expressing man and wife no poetry and no art ever charmed the imagination more than the union of the two in this cottage charmed mrs it was nothing to her that had a habit of leaning against it as he smoked his pipe after work when his hat blotted out the pigeon house and all the when his back swallowed up the dwelling when his hands in his pockets the blooming garden and laid waste the adjacent country to mrs it was still a most beautiful cottage a most wonderful deception and it made no difference that mr s eye was some inches above the level of the bed room in the to come out into the shop after it was shut and hear her father sing a song inside this cottage was a perfect pastoral to mrs the golden age revived and truly if that famous period had been revived or had ever been at all it may be doubted whether it would have produced many more heartily admiring daughters than the poor woman warned of a visitor by the bell at the shop door mrs came out of happy cottage to see who it might be i guessed it was you mr said she for it s quite your regular night ain t it here s father you see come out to serve at the sound of the bell like a brisk young ain t he looking well father s more pleased to see you than if you was a customer for he dearly loves a gossip and when it turns upon miss he loves it all the more you never heard father in such voice as he is in at present said mrs her own voice she was so proud and pleased he gave us last night to that degree that gets up and makes him this speech across the table john edward says to father i never heard you come the as i have heard you come the this night an t it gratifying mr though really mr who had at the old man in his manner replied in the affirmative and casually asked whether that lively chap had come in yet mrs answered no not yet though he had gone to the west end with some work and had said he should be back by tea time mr was then pressed into happy cottage where he encountered the elder master just come home from school examining that young student lightly on the proceedings of the day he found that the more advanced pupils who were in large text and the letter m had been set the copy millions and how are you getting on mrs said since we re mentioning millions very steady indeed sir returned mrs dear would you go into the shop and tidy the window a little bit before tea your taste being so beautiful little john edward trotted away much gratified to with his daughter s request mrs who was always in mortal terror of mentioning pecuniary affairs before the old gentleman lest any disclosure she made might rouse his spirit and induce him to run away to the was thus left free to be confidential with mr it s quite true that the business is very steady indeed said mrs lowering her voice and has a excellent connection the only thing that stands in its way sir is the credit this rather severely felt by most people who engaged in commercial transactions with the inhabitants of bleeding heart yard was a large stumbling block in mrs s trade when mr had established her in the business the bleeding hearts had shown an amount of emotion and a determination to support her in it that did honor to human nature her | 8 |
claim upon their generous feelings as one who had long been a member of their community they pledged themselves with great feeling to deal with mrs come what would and bestow their patronage on no other establishment influenced by these noble sentiments they had even gone out of their way to purchase little luxuries in the and butter line to which they were saying to one another that if they did stretch a point was it not for a neighbour and a friend and for whom ought a point to be stretched if not for such so stimulated the business was extremely brisk and the articles in stock went off with the greatest in short if the bleeding hearts had but paid the undertaking would have been a complete success whereas by reason of their exclusively themselves to owing the profits actually had not yet begun to appear in the books mr was making a very of himself by sticking his hair up in the contemplation of this state of accounts when old mr re entering the cottage with an air of mystery entreated them to come and look at the strange behaviour of mr who seemed to have met with something that had scared him all three going into the shop and watching through the window then saw mr pale and agitated go through the following extraordinary performances first he was observed hiding at the top of the steps leading down into the yard and peeping up and down the street with his head cautiously thrust out close to the side of the shop door after very anxious scrutiny he came out of his retreat and went briskly down the street as if he were going away altogether then suddenly turned about and went at the same pace and with the same up the street he had gone no further up the street than he had gone down when he crossed the road and disappeared the object of this last was only apparent when his entering the shop with a sudden twist from the steps again explained that he had made a wide and obscure circuit round to the other or and end of the yard and had come through the yard and bolted in he was out of breath by that time as he might well be and his heart seemed to jerk faster than the little shop bell as it quivered and behind him with his hasty shutting of the door i little d r it old chap said mr old boy what s the matter mr or understood english now almost as well as mr himself and could speak it very well too nevertheless mrs with a vanity in that accomplishment of hers which made her all but italian stepped in as e ask know said mrs what go wrong come into the happy little cottage returned mr great to his back handed shake of his right forefinger come there mrs was proud of the title which she regarded as not so much mistress of the house as mistress of the italian tongue she immediately complied with mr s request and they all went into the cottage e you no fright said mrs then mr in a new way with her usual of resource what i have seen some one returned i have him im oo him asked mrs a bad man a man i have hoped that i should never see him again ow you know im bad asked mrs it does not matter i know it too well e see you asked mrs no i hope not i believe not he says mrs then interpreted addressing her father and with mild condescension that he has met a bad man but he hopes the bad man didn t see him why mrs to the italian language why bad man no see dearest returned the little foreigner whom she so protected do not ask i pray once again i say it matters not i have fear of this man i do not wish to see him i do not wish to be known of him never again enough most beautiful leave it the topic was so disagreeable to him and so put his usual to the that mrs to press him further the rather as the tea had been drawing for some time on the but she was not the less surprised and curious for asking no more questions neither was mr whose expressive breathing had been laboring hard since the entrance of the little man like a engine with a great load getting up a steep incline now better dressed than of though still faithful to the monstrous character of her cap had been in the back ground from the first with open mouth and eyes which staring and gaping features were not diminished in breadth by the of the subject however no more was said about it though much appeared to be thought on all sides by no means excepting the two young who partook of the evening meal as if their eating the bread and butter were rendered almost superfluous by the painful probability of the worst of men shortly presenting himself for the purpose of eating them mr by little degrees began to a little but never stirred from the seat he had taken behind the door and close to the window though it was not his usual place as often as the little bell rang he started and peeped out secretly with the end of the little curtain in his hand and the rest before his face evidently not at all satisfied but that the man he dreaded had him through all his and with the certainty of a terrible the entrance at various times of two or three customers and of mr gave mr just enough of this employment to keep the attention of the company fixed upon him tea was over and the children were and mrs | 8 |
was feeling her way to the dutiful proposal that her father should favor them with when the bell again rang and mr came in had been late over his books and letters for the waiting rooms of the office his time sorely over and above that he was depressed and made uneasy by the late occurrence at his mother s he looked worn and solitary he felt so too but nevertheless was returning home from his counting house by that end of the yard to give them the intelligence that he had received another letter from miss the news made a sensation in the cottage which drew off the general attention from mr who pushed her way into the immediately would have seemed to draw in the tidings of her little mother equally at her ears nose mouth and eyes but that the last were by tears she was particularly delighted when assured her that there were and very kindly conducted in borne mr rose into new distinction in virtue of being specially remembered in the letter everybody was pleased and interested and was well repaid for his trouble but you are tired sir let me make you a cup of tea said mrs if you d condescend to take such a thing in the cottage and many thanks to you too i am sure for bearing us in mind so kindly mr it incumbent on him as host to add his personal them in the form which always expressed his highest ideal of a combination of ceremony with sincerity john edward said mr addressing the old gentleman sir it s not too often that you see actions without a spark of pride and therefore when you see them give grateful honor unto the same being that if you don t and live to want em it follows serve you right to which mr replied i am heartily of your opinion thomas and which your opinion is the same as mine and therefore no more words and not being backwards with that opinion which opinion giving it as yes thomas yes is the opinion in which yourself and me must ever be by all and where there is not difference of opinion there can be none but one opinion which fully no thomas thomas no arthur with less formality expressed himself gratified by their high appreciation of so very slight an attention on his part and explained little as to the tea that he had not yet dined and was going straight home to refresh after a long day s labor or he have readily accepted the hospitable offer as mr was somewhat getting his steam up for departure he concluded by asking that gentleman if he would walk with him mr said he desired no better engagement and the two took leave of happy cottage if you will come home with me said arthur when they got into the street and will share what dinner or supper there is it will be next door to an act of charity for i am weary and out of sorts to night ask me to do a greater thing than that said when you want it done and i ll do it between this eccentric personage a understanding and accord had been always improving since mr new over mr s back in the yard when the carriage drove away on the memorable day of the family s departure these two had looked after it together and had walked slowly away together when the first letter came from little nobody was more interested in hearing of her than mr the second letter at that moment in s breast pocket particularly remembered him by name though he had never before made any profession or to and though what he had just said was little enough as to the words in which it was expressed had long had a growing belief that mr in his own odd way was becoming attached to him all these strings made a very cable of that night i am quite alone arthur explained as they walked on my partner is way busily engaged at a distance on his branch of our business and you shall do just as you like thank you you didn t take particular notice of little just now did you said no why he s a bright fellow and i like him said something has gone amiss with him to day have you any idea of any cause that can have him you surprise me none whatever mr gave his reasons for the arthur was quite unprepared for them and quite unable to suggest an explanation of them perhaps you ll ask him said as he s a stranger ask him what returned what he has on his mind i ought first to see for myself that he has something on his mind i think said i have found him in every way so so grateful for little enough and so that it might look like suspecting him and that would be very unjust true said but i say you t to be anybody s proprietor mr you re much too delicate for the matter of that returned laughing i have not a large share in his carving is his he keeps the keys of the factory watches it every p f little alternate night and acts as a sort of housekeeper to it generally but we have little work in the way of his ingenuity though we give him what we have no i am rather his adviser than his proprietor to call me his standing counsel and his banker would be nearer the fact speaking of being his banker is it not curious that the which run just now in so many people s heads should run even in little s retorted with a what these oh said aye aye i didn t know you were speaking of his quick | 8 |
way of replying caused to look at him with a doubt whether he meant more than he said as it was accompanied however with a of his pace and a corresponding increase in the laboring of his machinery arthur did not pursue the matter and they soon arrived at his house a dinner of soup and a pigeon pie served on a little round table before the fire and with a bottle of good wine mr s works in a highly effective manner so that when produced his eastern pipe and handed mr another eastern pipe the latter gentleman was perfectly comfortable they puffed for a while in silence mr like a steam vessel with wind tide calm water and all other sea going conditions in her favor he was the first to speak and he spoke thus yes is the word with his former look said ah i am going back to it you see said yes i see you are going back to it returned wondering why wasn t it a curious thing that they should run in little s head eh said as he smoked wasn t that how you put it that was what i said aye but think of the whole yard having got it think of their all meeting me with it on my collecting days here and there and everywhere whether they pay or whether they don t pay always very strange how these runs on an prevail said arthur an returned after smoking for a minute or so more than with his recent he added because you see these people don t understand the subject not a bit assented not a bit cried know nothing of figures know nothing of money questions never made a calculation never worked it sir if they had was going on to say when mr without change of countenance produced a sound so far surpassing all his usual efforts or that he stopped if they had repeated in an tone little i thought you spoke said arthur hesitating what name to give the interruption at all said not yet i may in a minute if they had if they had observed who was a little at a loss how to take his friend why i suppose they would have known better how so mr asked quickly and with an odd effect of having been from the commencement of the conversation loaded with the heavy charge he now fired off they re right you know they don t mean to be but they re right right in sharing s inclination to with mr per sir said i ve gone into it i ve made the calculations i ve worked it they re safe and genuine relieved by having got to this mr took as long a pull as his lungs would permit at his eastern pipe and looked and steadily at while and too in those moments mr began to give out the dangerous with which he was laden it is the manner of communicating these diseases it is the subtle way in which they go about u do you mean my good asked emphatically that you would put that thousand pounds of yours let us say for instance out at this kind of interest certainly said already done it sir mr took another long another long another long sagacious look at i tell you mr i ve gone into it said he s a man of immense resources enormous capital government influence they re the best schemes afloat they re safe they re certain well returned looking first at him gravely and then at the fire gravely you surprise me retorted don t say that sir it s what you ought to do yourself why don t you do as i do of whom mr had taken the disease he could no more have told than if he had unconsciously taken a fever bred at first as many physical diseases are in the wickedness of men and then in their ignorance these after a period get communicated to many who are neither ignorant nor wicked mr might or might not have caught the illness himself from a subject of this class but in this he appeared before and the he threw off was all the more and you have really invested had already passed to that word your thousand pounds to be sure sir replied boldly with a puff of smoke and only wish it was ten now had two subjects lying heavy on his lonely mind that night the one his partner s long deferred hope the other what he had seen and heard at his mother s in the relief of having this companion and of feeling that he could trust him he passed on to both little and both brought him round again with an increase and of force to his point of departure it came about in the simplest manner the subject after an interval of silent looking at the fire through the smoke of his pipe he told how and why he was occupied with the great national department a hard case it has been and a hard case it is on he finished by saying with all the honest feeling the topic roused in him hard indeed but you manage for him mr how do you mean w manage the money part of the business yes as well as i can manage it better sir said him for his toils and disappointments give him the chances of the time he ll never benefit himself in that way patient and pre occupied workman he looks to you sir i do my best returned uneasily as to weighing and considering these new of which i have had no experience i doubt if i am fit for it i am growing old growing old cried ha ha there was something so genuine in the wonderful laugh and series of and | 8 |
in mr s astonishment at and utter of the idea that his being quite in earnest could not be questioned growing old cried hear hear hear old hear him hear him the positive refusal expressed in mr s continued no less than in these exclamations to entertain the sentiment for a single instant drove arthur away from it indeed he was fearful of something happening to mr in the violent conflict that took place between the breath he jerked out of himself and the smoke he jerked into himself this of the second topic threw him on the third young old or middle aged he said when there was a favorable pause very anxious and uncertain state a state that even leads me to doubt whether anything now seeming to belong to me may be really mine shall i tell you how this is shall i put a great trust in you you shall sir said if you believe me worthy of it i do you may mr s short and sharp confirmed by the sudden of his hand was most expressive and convincing arthur shook the hand warmly he then softening the nature of his old apprehensions as much as was possible with their being made intelligible and never alluding to his mother by name but speaking vaguely of a relation of his confided to mr a broad outline of the he entertained and of the interview he had witnessed mr listened with such interest that regardless of the charms of the eastern pipe little o he put it in the grate among the fire irons and occupied his hands during the whole recital in so the and hooks of hair all over his head that he looked when it came to a conclusion like a hamlet in conversation with his father s spirit brings me back sir was his exclamation then with a startling touch on s knee brings me back sir to the i don t say anything of your making yourself poor to repair a wrong you never committed that s you a man must be himself but i say this fearing you may want money to save your own blood from exposure and disgrace make as much as you can arthur shook his head but looked at him thoughtfully too be as rich as you can sir him with a powerful of all his energies on the advice be as rich as you honestly can it s your duty not for your sake but for the sake of others take time by the poor mr ce who really is growing old depends upon you your relative depends upon you you don t know what depends upon you well well well returned arthur enough for to night one word more mr retorted and then enough for to night why should you leave all the gains to the and why should you leave all the gains that are to be got to my proprietor and the like of him yet you re always doing it when i say you i mean such men as you you know you are why i see it every day of my life i see nothing else it s my business to see it therefore i say urged go in and win but what of go in and lose said arthur can t be done sir returned i have looked into it name up everywhere immense resources enormous capital great position high government influence can t be done gradually after this closing mr subsided allowed his hair to as much as it ever would on the utmost persuasion the pipe from the fire irons filled it anew and smoked it out they said little more but were company to one another in silently pursuing the same subjects and did not part until midnight on taking his leave mr when he had shaken hands with worked completely round him before he out at the door this arthur received as an assurance that he might rely on if he should ever come to need assistance either in any of the matters of which they had spoken that night or on any other subject that could in any way affect himself at intervals all next day and even while his attention was fixed on other things he thought of mr s of his thousand pounds and of his having looked into it he thought of mr s being so sanguine in this matter and of his not being usually of a sanguine character he thought of the great national department and of the delight it would be to him to see better off he thought of the darkly threatening place that went by the name of home in his remembrance and of the gathering shadows which made it yet more darkly threatening than of old he observed anew that little wherever he went he saw or heard or touched the celebrated name of he found it difficult even to remain at his desk a couple of hours without having it presented to one of his bodily senses through some agency or other he began to think it was curious too that it should be everywhere and that nobody but he should seem to have any of it though indeed he began to remember when he got to this even he did not it he had only happened to keep aloof from it such symptoms when a disease of the kind is are usually the signs of sickening chapter taking advice when it became known to the on the shore of the yellow that their intelligent mr was made one of the lords of their office they took it as a piece of new with which they had no nearer concern than with any other piece of news any other accident or offence in the english papers some laughed some said by way of complete excuse that the | 8 |
post was a and any fool who could spell his name was good enough for it some and these were the more solemn political said that did wisely to strengthen himself and that the sole constitutional purpose of all places within the gift of was that should strengthen himself a few there were who would not to this article of faith but their objection was purely in a practical point of view they abandoned the matter as being the business of some other unknown somewhere or nowhere in like manner at home great numbers of maintained for as long as four and twenty hours that those invisible and u ought to take it up and that if they quietly in it they deserved it but of what class the were composed and where the unlucky creatures hid themselves and why they hid themselves and how it constantly happened that they neglected their interests when so many other were quite at a loss to account for their not looking after those interests was not either upon the shore of the yellow or the shore of the black thames made apparent to men mrs the news as she received congratulations on it with a careless grace that displayed it to advantage as the setting the jewel yes she said had taken the place mr wished him to take it and he had taken it she hoped might like it but really she didn t know it would keep him in town a good deal and he preferred the country still it was not a disagreeable position and it was a position there was no little denying that the thing was a compliment to mr and was not a bad thing for if he liked it it was just as well that he should have something to do and it was just as well that he should have something for doing it whether it would be more agreeable to than the army remained to be seen thus the bosom accomplished in the art of seeming to make things of small account and really them in the process while henry whom had thrown away went through the whole round of his acquaintance between the gate of the people and the town of almost but not quite with tears in his eyes that was the sweetest tempered simplest hearted altogether most that ever on the public common and that only one circumstance could have delighted him more than his the beloved s getting this post and that would have been his s getting it himself he said it was the very thing for there was nothing to do and he would do it there was a handsome salary to draw and he would draw it it was a delightful appropriate capital appointment and he almost forgave the his slight of himself in his joy that the dear donkey for whom he had so great an affection was so admirably nor did his benevolence stop here he took pains on all social occasions to draw mr out and make him conspicuous before the company and although the considerate action always resulted in that young gentleman s making a dreary and forlorn mental spectacle of himself the friendly intention was not to be doubted unless indeed it chanced to be doubted by the object of mr s affections miss was now in the difficult situation of being universally known in that light and of not having dismissed mr however she used him hence she was sufficiently identified with the gentleman to feel by his being more than usually ridiculous and hence being by no means deficient in quickness she sometimes came to his rescue against and did him very good service but while doing this she was ashamed of him whether to get rid of him or more decidedly encourage him distracted with apprehensions that she was every day becoming more and more in her and tortured by that mrs in her distress with this tumult in her mind it is no subject for surprise that miss came home one night in a state of agitation from a concert and ball at mrs s house and on her sister affectionately trying to soothe her pushed that sister away from the table at which she sat angrily trying to cry and declared with a heaving bosom that she detested everybody and she wished she was dead dear what is the matter tell me matter you little said if you were not the of the blind you would have no occasion to ask me the idea of daring to pretend to assert that you have eyes in your head and yet ask me what s the matter is it mr dear mis ter repeated with unbounded scorn as if little he were the last subject in the system that could possibly be near her mind no miss bat it is not immediately afterwards she became for having called her sister names declaring with sobs that she knew she made herself hateful but that everybody drove her to it i don t think you are well to night dear stuff and nonsense replied the young lady turning angry again i am as well as you are perhaps i might say better and yet make no boast of it poor little not seeing her way to the offering of any soothing words that would escape deemed it best to remain quiet at first took this ill too protesting to her looking glass that of all the trying sisters a girl could have she did think the most trying sister was a flat sister that she knew she was at times a wretched temper that she knew she made herself hateful that when she made herself hateful nothing would do her half the good of being told so but that being afflicted with a flat sister she never was told so and the consequence resulted that she was absolutely tempted and | 8 |
into making herself disagreeable besides she angrily told her looking glass she didn t want to be forgiven it was not a right example that she should be constantly stooping to be forgiven by a younger sister and this was the art of it that she was always being placed in the position of being forgiven whether she liked it or not finally she burst into violent weeping and when her sister came and sat close at her side to comfort her said you re an angel but i tell you what my pet said when her sister s gentleness had her it now comes to this that things cannot and shall not go on as they are at present going on and that there must be an end of this one way or other as the announcement was vague though very little returned let us talk about it quite so my dear assented as she dried her eyes let us talk about it i am rational again now and you shall advise me will you advise me my sweet child even smiled at the notion but she said i will as well as i can thank you dearest returned kissing her you are my anchor having embraced her anchor with great affection took a bottle of sweet water from the table and called to her maid for a fine handkerchief she then dismissed that attendant for the night and went on to be advised her eyes and forehead from time to time to cool them my love began our characters and points of view are sufficiently different kiss me again my darling to make it very probable that i shall surprise you by what i am going to say what i am going to say my dear is that notwithstanding our property we labor speaking under you don t quite understand what i mean i have no doubt i shall said mildly after a few words more little do well my dear what i mean is that we are after all into fashionable life i am sure little interposed in her zealous admiration no one need find that out in you well my dear child perhaps not said though it s most kind and most affectionate in you you precious girl to say so here she her sister s forehead and blew upon it a little but you are resumed as is well known the dearest little thing that ever was to resume my child pa is extremely gentlemanly and extremely well informed but he is in some trifling respects a little different from other gentlemen of his fortune partly on account of what he has gone through poor dear partly i fancy on account of its often running in his mind that other people are thinking about that while he is talking to them uncle my love is altogether though a dear creature to whom i am tenderly attached he is speaking shocking edward is expensive and dissipated i don t mean that there is anything in that itself far from it but i do mean that he doesn t do it well and that he doesn t if i may so express myself get the money s worth in the sort of dissipated reputation that to him poor edward sighed little with the whole family history in the sigh yes and poor you and me too returned rather sharply very true then my dear we have no mother and we have a mrs general and i tell you again darling that mrs general if i may reverse a common proverb and it to her is a cat in gloves who will catch that woman i am quite sure and confident will be our mother in law i can hardly think stopped her now don t argue with me about it said she because i know better feeling that she had been sharp again she her sister s forehead again and blew upon it again to resume once more my dear it then becomes a question with me i am proud and spirited as you very well know too much so i whether i shall make up my mind to take it upon myself to carry the family through how asked her sister anxiously i will not said without answering the question submit to be mother in la wed by mrs general and i will not submit to be in any respect whatever either or tormented by mrs little laid her hand upon the hand that held the bottle of sweet water with a still more anxious look quite her own forehead with the vehement she now began to give it went on that he has somehow or other and how is of no consequence attained a very good position no one can deny that it is a very good no one can deny and as to the question of clever or not clever i doubt very much whether a clever husband would be suitable to me i cannot submit i should not be able to to him enough little my dear little npon whom a kind of terror had been stealing as she perceived what her sister meant if you loved any one all this feeling would change if you loved any one you would no more be yourself but you would quite lose and forget yourself in your devotion to him if you loved him had stopped the hand and was looking at her indeed cried really bless me how much some people know of some subjects they say every one has a subject and i certainly seem to have hit upon yours there you little thing i was only in fun her sister s forehead but don t you be a silly and don t you think and about there now i ll go back to myself dear let me say first that i would far rather we worked for a scanty | 8 |
eye glass and in general conversation to allow of her beauty to be wrung from her by its irresistible demands the defiant character it assumed when heard these as it generally happened that she did was not expressive of to the impartial bosom but the utmost revenge the bosom took was to say audibly a spoilt beauty but with that face and shape who could wonder it might have been about a month or six weeks after the night of the advice when little began to think she detected some new understanding between mr and mr as if in to some compact scarcely ever spoke without first looking towards for leave that young lady was too discreet ever to look back again but df mr had permission to speak she remained silent if he had not she herself spoke moreover it became plain whenever henry attempted to perform the friendly office of drawing him out that he was not to be drawn and not only that but would presently without any pointed application in the world chance to say something with such a it that would draw back as if he had put his hand into a bee hive there was yet another circumstance which went a long way to confirm little in her fears though it was not a great circumstance in itself mr s towards herself changed it became sometimes when she was in the outer circle of at their own residence at mrs s or elsewhere she would find herself stealthily supported round the waist by mr s arm mr never offered the slightest explanation of this attention but merely smiled with an air of contented good natured which in so heavy a gentleman was expressive little was at home one day thinking about with a heavy heart they had a room at one end of their drawing room nearly all irregular bay window projecting over the street and commanding all the picturesque life and variety of the both up and down at three or four o clock in the afternoon english time the view from this window was very bright and peculiar and little used to sit and muse here much as she had been used to away the time in her balcony at seated thus one day she was softly touched on the shoulder and said well dear and took her seat at her side their seat was a part of the window when there was anything in the way of a procession going on they used to have bright hung out at the window and used to little kneel or sit on this seat and look ont at it leaning on the brilliant color but there was no procession that day and little was rather surprised by s being at home at that hour as she was generally out on horseback then well said what are you thinking of little one i was thinking of you what a coincidence i declare here s some one else you were not thinking of this some one else too were you had been thinking of this some one else too for it was mr she did not say so however as she gave him her hand mr came and sat down on the other side of her and she felt the railing come behind her and apparently stretch on to include well my little sister said with a sigh i suppose you know what this means she s as beautiful as she s on stammered mr and there s no nonsense about her it s arranged you needn t explain said no my love said mr in short pet proceeded on the whole we are engaged we must tell papa about it either to night or to morrow according to the opportunities then it s done and very little more need be said my dear said mr with deference i should like to say a word to well well say it for goodness sake returned the young lady i am convinced my dear said mr that if ever there was a girl next to your highly endowed and beautiful sister who had no nonsense about her we know all about that interposed miss never mind that pray go on to something else besides our having no nonsense about us yes my love said mr and i assure you that nothing can be a greater happiness to myself myself next to the happiness of being so highly honored with the choice of a glorious girl who hasn t an of pray pray interrupted with a slight pat of her pretty foot upon the floor my love you re quite right said mr and i know i have a habit of it what i wished to declare was that nothing can be a greater happiness to myself myself next to the happiness of being united to pre eminently the most glorious of girls than to have the happiness of the affectionate acquaintance of i may not myself said mr be up to the mark on some other subjects at a short notice and i am aware that if you were to society the general opinion would be that i am not but on the subject of i am up to the mark mr kissed her in witness thereof a knife and fork and an apartment proceeded mr little growing in comparison with his quite will ever he at s disposal my governor i am sure will always he proud to entertain one whom i so much esteem and regarding my mother said mr who is a remarkably fine woman with cried miss as before with submission my soul pleaded mr i know i have a habit of it and i thank you very much my girl for taking the trouble to correct it but my mother is admitted on all sides to be a remarkably fine woman and she really hasn | 8 |
t any that may be or may not be returned but pray don t mention it any more i will not my love said mr then in fact you have nothing more to say have you so far from it my girl answered mr i for having said so much mr perceived by a kind of inspiration that the question implied had he not better go he therefore withdrew the railing and neatly said that he thought he would with submission take his leave he did not go without being congratulated by as well as she could discharge that office in the flutter and distress of her spirits when he was gone she said and turned to her sister in the bright window and fell upon her bosom and cried there laughed at first but soon laid her face against her sister s and cried too a little it was the last time ever showed that there was any hidden suppressed or conquered feeling in her on that matter that hour the way she had chosen lay before her and she trod it with her own imperious self willed step little d t chapter xv no just cause oil why these two persons should not be joined together mr on being informed by his elder daughter that she had accepted matrimonial from mr to whom she had her received the communication at once with great dignity and with a large display of parental pride his dignity with the prospect of advantageous ground from which to make acquaintances and his parental pride being developed by miss s ready sympathy with that great object of his existence he gave her to understand that her noble ambition found harmonious echoes in his heart and bestowed his blessing on her as a child of duty and good principle self devoted to the of the family name to mr when miss permitted to appear mr said he would not disguise that the alliance mr did him the honor to propose was highly congenial to his feelings both as being in with the spontaneous affections of his daughter and as opening a family of a gratifying nature with mr the master spirit of the age mrs also as a rich in distinction elegance grace and beauty he mentioned in very terms he felt it his duty to remark he was sure a gentleman of mr s fine sense would interpret him with all delicacy that he could not consider this proposal determined on until he should have had the privilege of holding some correspondence with mr and of it to be so far with the views of that eminent gentleman as that his mr s daughter would be received on that footing which her station in life and her and expectations him in requiring that she should maintain in what he trusted he might be allowed without the appearance of being to call the eye of the great world while saying this which his character as a gentleman of some little station and his character as a father equally demanded of him he would not be so as to conceal that the proposal remained in hopeful and under acceptance and that he thanked mr for the compliment rendered to himself and to his family he concluded with some further and more general observations on the ha character of an independent gentleman and the hum character of a possibly too partial and admiring parent to sum the whole up shortly he received mr s offer very much as he would have received three or four half crowns from him in the days that were gone mr finding himself stunned by the words thus heaped upon his head made a brief though the same being neither more nor less than that he had long perceived little miss to have no nonsense about her and that he had no doubt of its being all right with his governor at that point the object of his affections shut him up like a box with a spring lid and sent him away proceeding shortly afterwards to pay his respects to the bosom mr was received by it with great consideration mrs had heard of this affair from she had been surprised at first because she had not thought a marrying man society had not thought a marrying man still of course she had seen as a woman we women did instinctively see these things mr that had been immensely by miss and she had openly said that mr had much to answer for in bringing so charming a girl abroad to turn the heads of his countrymen have i the honor to conclude madam said mr that the direction which mr s affections have taken is ha approved of by you m i assure you mr returned the lady that personally i am charmed that was very gratifying to mr personally repeated mrs charmed this casual repetition of the word personally moved mr to express his hope that mr s approval too would not be wanting i cannot said mrs take upon myself to answer positively for mr gentlemen especially gentlemen who are what society calls having their own ideas of these matters but i should think merely giving an opinion mr i should think mr would be upon the whole here she held a review of herself before adding at her leisure quite charmed at the mention of gentlemen whom society called mr had as if some internal were breaking out of him mrs had observed it and went on to take up the cue though indeed mr it is scarcely necessary for me to make that remark except in the mere of saying what is uppermost to one whom i so highly regard and with whom i hope i may have the pleasure of being brought into still more agreeable relations one cannot but see the great probability of your | 8 |
hum a trusted member of this family the ha the change that is contemplated among us if i ha not only request it but hum insist upon it oh papa broke in with pointed significance if you make so much of it as that i have in duty nothing to do but i hope i may have my thoughts upon the subject however for i really cannot help it under the circumstances so sat down with a which in the of extremes became defiance and her father either not to answer or not knowing what to answer summoned mr into his presence mrs general mr unused to receive such short orders in with the fair paused mr seeing the whole and all its in the pause instantly flew at him with how dare you sir what do you mean little i beg your pardon sir pleaded mr i was to know you wished to know nothing sir cried mr highly flushed don t tell me you did ha you didn t you are guilty of mockery sir i assure you sir mr began don t assure me said mr i will not be assured by a domestic you are guilty of mockery you shall leave me hum the whole establishment shall leave me what are you waiting for only for my orders sir it s false said mr you have your orders ha hum my compliments to mrs general and i beg the favor of her coming to me if quite convenient for a few minutes those are your orders in his execution of this mission mr perhaps expressed that mr was in a raging however that was mrs general s skirts were very speedily heard outside coming along one might almost have said along with unusual expedition they settled down at the door and swept into the room with their customary coolness mrs general said mr take a chair mrs general with a graceful curve of acknowledgment descended into the chair which mr offered madam pursued that gentleman as you have had the kindness to undertake the hum formation of my daughters and as i am persuaded that nothing nearly affecting them can ha be indifferent to you wholly impossible said mrs general in the of ways i therefore wish to announce to you madam that my daughter now present mrs general made a slight inclination of her head to who made a very low inclination of her head to mrs general and came upright again that my daughter is ha contracted to be married to mr with whom you are acquainted hence madam you will be relieved of half your difficult charge ha difficult charge mr repeated it with his angry eye on but not i hope to the hum of any other portion direct or of the footing you have at present the kindness to occupy in my family mr returned mrs general with her hands resting on one another in repose is ever considerate and ever but too of my friendly services miss as much as to say you are right miss has no doubt exercised the discretion of which the circumstances admitted and i trust will allow me to offer her my sincere congratulations when free from the of passion mrs general closed her eyes at the word as if she could not utter it and see anybody when with the approbation of near relatives and when the proud structure of a family little edifice these are usually events i trust miss will allow me to offer her my best congratulations here mrs general stopped and added for the setting of her face papa potatoes poultry and mr she aloud is ever most obliging and for the attention and i will add distinction of having this confidence imparted to me by himself and miss at this early time i beg to offer the tribute of my thanks my thanks and my congratulations are equally the of mr and of miss to me observed miss they are excessively gratifying so the relief of finding that you have no objection to make mrs general quite takes a load off my mind i am sure i hardly know what i should have done said if you had interposed any objection mrs general mrs general changed her gloves as to the right glove being uppermost and the left with a and smile to preserve your approbation mrs general said returning the smile with one in which there was no trace of those will of course be the highest object of my married life to lose it would of course be perfect wretchedness i am sure your great kindness will not object and i hope papa will not object to my a small mistake you have made however the best of us are so liable to mistakes that even you mrs general have fallen into a little error the attention and distinction you have so mentioned mrs general as to this confidence are i have no doubt of the most complimentary and gratifying description but they don t at all proceed from me the merit of having consulted you on the subject would have been so great in me that i feel i must not lay claim to it when it really is not mine it is wholly papa s i am deeply obliged to you for your encouragement and patronage but it was papa who asked for it i have to thank you mrs general for my breast of a great weight by so handsomely giving your consent to my engagement but you have really nothing to thank me for i hope you will always approve of my proceedings after i have left home and that my sister also may long remain the favored object of your condescension mrs general with this address | 8 |
and these are the arrangements dear arrangements repeated now really child you are a little trying you know i particularly guarded myself against laying my words open to any such construction what i said was that certain questions present themselves and these arc the questions little s thoughtful eyes met hers tenderly and quietly now my own sweet girl said weighing her bonnet by the strings with considerable impatience it s no use staring a little owl could stare i look to you for advice what do you advise me to do do you think asked little after a short hesitation do you think that if you were to put it off for a few months it might be considering all things best no little retorted with exceeding i don t think anything of the kind here she threw her bonnet from her altogether and into chair but becoming affectionate almost immediately she out of it again and down on the floor to take her sister chair and all in her arms don t suppose i am hasty or unkind darling because i really am not but you are such a little you make one bite your head off when one wants to be soothing beyond everything didn t i tell little you you dearest baby that can t be trusted by himself and don t you know that he can t yes yes you said so i know and you know it i know retorted well my precious child if he is be trusted by himself it follows i suppose that i should go with him it seems so love said little therefore having heard the arrangements that are to carry out that object am i to understand dearest that on the whole you advise me to make them it seems so love said little again yery well cried with an air of resignation then i suppose it must be done i came to you my sweet the moment i saw the doubt and the necessity of deciding i have now decided so let it be after yielding herself up in this pattern to advice and the force of circumstances became quite as one who had laid her own inclinations at the feet of her dearest friend and felt a glow of conscience in having made the sacrifice after all my she said to her sister you are the best of small creatures and full of good sense and i don t know what i shall ever do without you with which words she folded her in a closer embrace and a really l one not that i contemplate doing without you by any means for i hope we shall ever be next to inseparable and now my pet i am going to give you a word of advice when you are left alone here with mrs general i am to be left alone here with mrs general said little quietly why of course my precious till papa comes back unless you call edward company which he certainly is not even when he is here and still more certainly is not when he is away at or in i was going to say but you are such a beloved little for putting one out when you are left alone here with mrs general don t you let her slide into any sort of artful understanding with you that she is looking after pa or that pa is looking after her she will if she can know her sly manner of feeling her way with those gloves of hers but don t you comprehend her on any account and if pa should tell you when he comes back that he has it in contemplation to make mrs general your which is not the less likely because i am going away my advice to you is that you say at once papa i beg to object most strongly me about this and she objected and i object i don t mean to say that any objection from you is likely to be of the smallest effect or that i think you likely to make it with any degree of firmness but there is a principle involved a filial principle and i you not to submit to be mother in by mrs general without asserting it in making every one about you as uncomfortable as possible i don t expect you to stand by it indeed i know you won t pa being concerned but wish to rouse you to a sense of duty as to any help from me or as little to any opposition that i can offer to such a match you shall not be left in the my love whatever weight i may derive from my position as a married girl not wholly devoid of attractions used as that position always shall be to oppose that woman i will bear you may depend upon it on the head and false hair for i am confident it s not all real ugly as it is and unlikely as it appears that any one in their senses would go to the expense of buying it of mrs general little received this counsel without venturing to oppose it but without giving any reason to believe that she intended to act upon it having now as it were formally wound up her single life and arranged her worldly affairs proceeded with characteristic to prepare for the serious change in her condition the preparation consisted in the of her maid to paris under the protection of the for the purchase of that for a bride on which it would be extremely low in the present narrative to bestow an english name but to which on a vulgar principle it of to the language in which it to be written it to give a french one the rich and beautiful wardrobe purchased by these agents | 8 |
in the course of a few weeks made its way through the intervening country with by an immense army of shabby in uniform who incessantly repeated the beggar s petition over it as if every individual warrior among them were the ancient and of whom there were so many that unless the had expended just one and a half of silver money in their they would have worn the wardrobe out before it got to by turning it over and over through all such dangers however it was triumphantly brought inch by inch and arrived at its journey s end in fine condition there it was exhibited to select companies of female in whose gentle it awakened feelings active preparations were made for the day on which some of its treasures were to be publicly displayed cards of breakfast invitation were sent out to half the english in the city of the other half made arrangements to be under arms as at various outer points of the solemnity the most high and illustrious english came post through the deep mud and from forming a surface under the improving nobility to grace the occasion the best hotel and all its were set to work to prepare the feast the of mr almost constituted a run on the bank the british hadn t had such a marriage in the whole of his the day came and the she wolf in the might have with envy to see how the island savages contrived these things now the headed statues of the wicked of the whom had not been able to flatter out of their might have come off their to run away with the bride the choked old fountain where the washed might have leaped into life again to honor the ceremony the temple of might have sprung up anew from its ruins expressly to lend its little countenance to the occasion might have done but did not like things even like the lords and ladies of creation sometimes might have done much but did nothing the went off with admirable pomp in white robes and robes stopped to look after the carriages wandering in of sheep begged and under the house windows the english denied the day wore on to the hour of the festival wore away the thousand churches rang their bells without any reference to it and saint peter denied that he had anything to do with it but by that time the bride was near the end of the first day s journey towards it was the peculiarity of these that they were all bride nobody noticed the bridegroom nobody noticed the first few could have seen little who held that post for the glare even supposing many to have sought her so the bride had mounted into her handsome chariot incidentally accompanied by the bridegroom and after rolling for a few minutes smoothly over a fair pavement had begun to through a of and through a long long avenue of and ruin other carriages are said to have gone the same road before and since if little found herself left a little lonely and a little low that night nothing would have done so much against her feeling of depression as the being able to sit at work by her father as in the old time and help him to his supper and his rest but that was not to be thought of now when they sat in the state with mrs general on the coach box and as to supper if mr had wanted supper there was an italian cook and there was a who must have put on caps as high as the pope s and have performed the mysteries of in a copper below before he could have got it he was and that night if he had been simply loving he would have done little more good but she accepted him as he was when had she not accepted him as he was and made the most and best of him mrs general at length retired her retirement for the night was always her ceremony as if she felt it necessary that the human imagination should be chilled into stone to prevent its following her when she had gone through her rigid to a sort of genteel exercise she withdrew little then put her arm round her father s neck to bid him good night my dear said mr taking her by the hand u is the close of a day that has ha greatly impressed and gratified me a little tired you dear too no said mr no i am not sensible of fatigue when it arises from an occasion so hum with gratification of the purest kind little was glad to find him in such heart and smiled from her own heart my dear he continued this is an occasion ha with a good example with a good example my favorite and attached hum to you go little little don it fluttered by his words did not know what to say though he stopped as if he expected her to say something he resumed your dear sister our has contracted ha hum a marriage eminently calculated to extend the basis of our ha and to hum our social relations my love i trust that the time is not far distant when some ha eligible partner may be found for you oh no let me stay with you i beg and pray that i may stay with you i want nothing but to stay and take care of you she said it like one in sudden alarm nay said mr this is weak and foolish weak and foolish you have a ha responsibility imposed upon you by your position it is to develop that position and be hum worthy of | 8 |
that position as to taking care of me i can ha take care of myself or he added after a moment if i should need to be taken care of i hum can with the ha blessing of providence he taken care of i ha hum i cannot my dear child think of and ha as it were sacrificing you what a time of day at which to begin that profession of at which to make it with an air of taking credit for it at to believe it if such a thing could be don t speak i positively say i cannot do it i ha must not do it my hum conscience would not allow it i therefore my love take the opportunity afforded by this gratifying and impressive occasion of ha solemnly remarking that it is now a cherished wish and purpose of mine to see you ha i repeat married oh no dear pray said mr i am well persuaded that if the topic were referred to any person of superior social knowledge of superior delicacy and sense let us say for instance to ha mrs general that there would not be two opinions as to the hum affectionate character and propriety of my sentiments but as i know your loving and dutiful nature from hum from experience i am quite satisfied that it is necessary to say no more i have hum no husband to propose at present my dear i have not even one in view i merely wish that we should ha understand each other hum good night my dear and sole remaining daughter good night god bless you if the thought ever entered little s head that night that he could give her up lightly now in his prosperity and when he had it in his mind to replace her with a second wife she drove it away faithful to him still as in the worst times through which she had borne him single handed she drove the thought away and entertained no harder reflection in her tearful than that he now saw everything through their wealth and through the care he always had upon him that they should continue rich and grow richer they sat in their of state with mrs general on the box for three weeks longer and then he started for to join little would have been glad to bear him company so far only for the sake of her own love and then to have turned back alone little do thinking of dear england but though the had gone on with the bride the was next in the line and the succession would not have come to her as long as any one could be got for money mrs general took life easily as easily that is as she could take anything when the roman establishment remained in their sole occupation and little would often ride out in a hired carriage that was left them and alight alone and wander among the ruins of old borne the ruins of the vast old of the old temples of the old arches of the old trodden of the old besides being what they were to her were ruins of the old ruins of her own old life ruins of the faces and forms that of old peopled it ruins of its loves hopes cares and joys two ruined of action and suffering were before the solitary girl often sitting on some broken fragment and in the lonely places under the blue sky she saw them both together up then would come mrs general taking all the color out of everything as nature and art had taken it out of herself writing and in mr s text wherever she could lay a hand looking everywhere for mr and company and seeing nothing else scratching up the little bones of antiquity and them whole without any human like a in gloves chapter xvi getting on the newly married pair on their arrival in street square london were received by the chief butler that great man was not interested in them but on the whole endured them people must continue to be married and given in marriage or chief would not be wanted as nations are made to be so families are made to be the chief butler no doubt reflected that the course of nature required the wealthy population to be kept up on his account he therefore condescended to look at the carriage from the without frowning at it and said in a very handsome way to one of his men thomas help with the luggage he even escorted the bride up stairs into mr s presence but this must be considered as an act of homage to the sex of which he was an admirer being by the charms of a certain and not as a of himself with the family mr was about the waiting to welcome mrs his hand seemed to retreat up his sleeve as he advanced to do so and he gave her such a of coat that it was like being received by the popular conception of when he put his lips to hers besides he took himself into by little the wrists and backed himself among the and chairs and tables as if he were his own police officer saying to himself none of that come i ve got you you know and you go quietly along with me mrs in the rooms of state the of down silk and fine linen felt that so far her triumph was good and her way made step by step on the day before her marriage she had bestowed on mrs s maid with an air of gracious | 8 |
indifference in mrs s presence a trifling little bonnet and two dresses all new about four times as valuable as the present formerly made by mrs to her she was now established in mrs s own rooms to which some extra touches had been given to render them more worthy of her occupation in her mind s eye as she there surrounded by every luxurious that wealth could obtain or invention devise she saw the fair bosom that beat in with the exultation of her thoughts with the bosom that had been famous so long it and it happy must have been happy no more wishing one s self dead now the had not approved of mr s staying in the house of a friend and had preferred to take him to an hotel in brook street square mr ordered his carriage to be ready early in the morning that he might wait upon mr immediately after breakfast bright the carriage looked sleek the horses looked gleaming the harness looked and lasting the looked a rich responsible turn out an for a early people looked after it as it rattled along the streets and said with awe in their breath there he goes there he went until brook street stopped him then forth from its magnificent case came the jewel not in itself but quite the contrary commotion in the office of the hotel the landlord though a gentleman of a haughty spirit who had just driven a pair of thorough bred horses into town turned out to show him up stairs the clerks and servants cut him off by back passages and were found accidentally hovering in and angles that they might look upon him ye sun moon and stars the great man the rich man who had in a manner the new testament and already entered into the kingdom of heaven the man who could have any one he chose to dine with him and who had made the money as he went up the stairs people were already posted on the lower stairs that his shadow might fall upon them when he came down so were the sick brought out and laid in the track of the who had not got into the good society and had not made the money mr dressing and was at his breakfast the with agitation in his voice announced miss mr s over wrought heart bounded as he leaped up mr this is ha indeed an honor permit me to express the hum sense the high sense i entertain of this ha highly gratifying act of attention i am well aware sir of the many demands little upon your time and its enormous value mr could not say enormous enough for his own satisfaction that you should ha at this early hour bestow any of your time upon me is ha a compliment that i acknowledge with the greatest esteem mr positively trembled in addressing the great man mr uttered in his subdued inward hesitating voice a few sounds that were to no purpose whatever and finally said i am glad to see you sir you are very kind said mr truly kind by this time the visitor was seated and was passing his great hand over his exhausted forehead you are well i hope mr i am as well as i yes i am as well as i usually am said mr your occupations must be immense tolerably so but oh dear no there s not much the matter with m f said mr looking round the room a little mr hinted yery likely but i oh i am well enough said mr there were black traces on his lips where they met as if a little train of had been fired there and he looked like a man who if his natural temperament had been quicker would have been very feverish that morning this and his heavy way of passing his hand over his forehead had prompted mr s mrs mr pursued i left as you will be prepared to hear the ha observed of all the hum admired of all admirers the leading fascination and charm of society in rome she was looking wonderfully well when i quitted it mrs said mr is generally considered a very attractive woman and she is no doubt i am sensible of her being so who can be otherwise responded mr mr turned his tongue in his closed mouth it seemed rather a stiff and tongue his lips passed his hand over his forehead again and looked all round the room again principally under the chairs but he said looking mr in the face for the first time and immediately afterwards dropping his eyes to the buttons of mr s waistcoat if we speak of attractions your daughter ought to be the subject of our conversation she is extremely beautiful both in face and figure she is quite uncommon when the young people arrived last night i was really surprised to see such charms mr s gratification was such that he said ha he could not refrain from telling mr as he had already done by letter what honor and happiness he felt in this union of their families and he offered his hand mr looked at the hand for a little while took it on his for a moment as if his were a yellow or fish and then returned it to mr i thought i would drive round the first thing said mr little to offer my services in case i can do anything for you and to say that i hope yon will at least do me the honor of dining with me today and every day when yon are not better engaged during your stay in town mr was by these attentions do you stay long | 8 |
sir i have not at present the intention said mr of ha exceeding a fortnight that s a very short stay after so long a journey returned mr hum yes said mr but the truth my dear mr that i find a foreign life so well suited to my health and taste that i hum have but two objects in my present visit to london first the ha the distinguished happiness and ha privilege which i now enjoy and appreciate secondly the arrangement hum the laying out that is to say in the best way of ha hum my money well sir said mr after turning his tongue again if i can be of any use to you in that respect you may command me mr s speech had had more hesitation in it than usual as he approached the topic for he was not perfectly clear how so exalted a might take it he had doubts whether reference to any individual capital or fortune might not seem a affair to so a dealer greatly relieved by mr s offer of assistance he caught at it directly and heaped upon him i scarcely ha dared said mr i assure you to hope for so hum vast an advantage as your direct advice and assistance though of course i should under any circumstances like the ha hum rest of the world have followed in mr s train you know we may almost say we are related sir said mr curiously interested in the pattern of the carpet and therefore you may consider me at your service ha very handsome indeed cried mr ha most handsome it would not said mr be at the present moment easy for what i may call a mere to come into any of the good things of course i speak of my own good things of course of course cried mr in a tone that there were no other good things unless at a high price at what we are accustomed to term a very long figure mr laughed in the of his spirit ha ha ha long figure good ha very expressive to be sure however said mr i do generally retain in my own hands the power of some preference people in general would be pleased to call it favor as a sort of compliment for my care and trouble and public spirit and genius mr suggested mr a dry action seemed to dispose of those qualities like a then added as a sort of return for it i little d er t a will see if you please how i can exert this limited power for people are jealous and it is limited to your advantage you are very good replied mr you are very good of course said mr there must be the integrity and in these transactions there must be the purest faith between man and man there must be and confidence or business could not be carried on mr hailed these generous sentiments with therefore said mr i can only give you a preference to a certain extent i perceive to a defined extent observed mr defined extent and perfectly above board as to my advice however said mr that is another matter that such as it is oh such as it was mr could not bear the faintest appearance of its being even by mr himself that there is nothing in the bonds of honor between myself and my fellow man to prevent my parting with if i choose and that said mr now deeply intent upon a dust cart that was passing the windows shall be at your command whenever you think proper new from mr passages of mr s hand over his forehead calm and silence contemplation of mr s waistcoat buttons by mr my time being rather precious said mr suddenly getting up as if he had been waiting in the interval for his legs and they had just come i must be moving towards the city can i take you anywhere sir i shall be happy to set you down or send you on my carriage is at your disposal mr himself that he had business at his banker s his banker s was in the city that was fortunate mr would take him into the city but surely he might not detain mr while he assumed his coat yes he might and must mr insisted on it so mr retiring into the next room put himself under the hands of his and in five minutes came back glorious then said mr allow me sir take my arm then leaning on mr s arm did mr descend the staircase seeing the on the steps and feeling that the light of mr shone by reflection in himself then the carriage and the ride into the city and the people who looked at them and the hats that new off grey heads and the general bowing and crouching before this wonderful mortal the like of which of spirit was not to be seen no by high heaven no it may be worth thinking of by of all in westminster abbey and saint paul s cathedral put together on any sunday in the year it was a dream to mr to find himself set aloft in this public car of triumph making a magnificent progress to that destination the golden street of the there mr insisted on and going his way a foot and leaving his poor at mr s disposition so the dream increased in rapture when mr came out of the bank little alone and people looked at mm in of mr and when with the ears of his mind he heard the frequent exclamation as he rolled along a wonderful man to he mr s friend at dinner that day | 8 |
although the occasion was not foreseen and provided for a brilliant company of such as are not made of the dust of the earth but of some superior article for the present unknown shed their upon mr s daughter s marriage and mr s daughter that day began in earnest her competition with that woman not present and began it so well that mr could all but have taken his if required that mrs had all her life been lying at full length in the lap of luxury and had never heard of such a rough word in the english tongue as next day and the day after and every day all by more dinner company cards descended on mr like theatrical snow as the friend and relative by marriage of the illustrious bar bishop treasury chorus everybody wanted to make or improve mr s acquaintance in mr s heaps of offices in the city when mr appeared at any of them on his business taking him eastward which it frequently did for it the name of was always a to the great presence of so the dream increased in rapture every hour as mr felt sensible that this had brought him forward indeed only one thing sat otherwise than and at the same time lightly on mr s mind it was the chief butler that character looked at him in the course of his official looking at the dinners in a manner that mr considered questionable he looked at him as he passed through the hall and up the staircase going to dinner with a glazed that mr did not like seated at table in the act of drinking mr still saw him through his wine glass regarding him with a cold and ghostly eye it him that the chief butler must have known a and must have seen him in the college perhaps had been presented to him he looked as closely at the chief butler as such a man could be looked at and yet he did not recall that he had ever seen him elsewhere ultimately he was inclined to think that there was no reverence in the man no sentiment in the great creature but he was not relieved by that for let him think what he would the chief butler had him in his eye even when that eye was on the plate and other table and he never let him out of it to hint to him that this confinement in his eye was disagreeable or to ask him what he meant was an act too daring to venture upon his severity with his and their visitors being terrific and he never permitting himself to be approached with the slightest liberty little chapter xvii missing the term of mr s visit was within two days of being out and he was about to dress for another inspection by the chief butler whose victims were always dressed expressly for him when one of k r r r f u x by an of the author s which he did not observe until it was too late for in the first impression of the number for last month no xv the name is used in the chapter of the second book instead of the personage in the story who assumed the latter name is habitually known to the author by the former as bis real one and hence the mistake it is set right if the reader will have the goodness to substitute the word for in that chapter when it occurs the chapter at page and ends at page i mm a j sue were admitted she might leave some message or might say something below having a disgraceful reference to that former state of existence hence the concession and hence the appearance of in by the man man v i have not the pleasure said mr standing with the card in his hand and with an air which imported that it would scarcely have been a first class pleasure if he had had it of knowing either this name or yourself madam place a chair sir the responsible man with a start obeyed and went out on putting aside her veil with a tremor upon her proceeded to introduce herself at the same time a singular combination of was diffused through the room as if some brandy had been put by mistake in a water bottle or as if some had been put by mistake in a brandy bottle i beg mr to offer a thousand apologies and indeed they would be far too few for such an intrusion which i know must appear extremely bold in a lady and alone too but i thought it best upon the whole however difficult and even apparently improper though h h little d t alone and people looked at him in of mr and when with the ears of his mind he heard the frequent exclamation as he rolled along a wonderful man to be mr s friend at dinner that day although the occasion was not foreseen and provided for a brilliant company of such as are not made of the dust of the earth but of some superior article for the present unknown shed their upon mr s daughter s marriage and mr s daughter that day began in earnest her competition with that woman not present and began it so well that mr could all but have taken his if required that mrs had all her life been lying at full length in the lap of luxury and had never heard of such a rough word in the english tongue as seen mm m tne to mm he looked as closely at the chief butler as such a man could be looked at and yet he did not recall that he had ever seen him elsewhere ultimately he was inclined to think that | 8 |
there was no reverence in the man no sentiment in the great creature but he was not relieved by that for let him think what he would the chief butler had him in his eye even when that eye was on the plate and other table and he never let him out of it to hint to him that this confinement in his eye was disagreeable or to ask him what he meant was an act too daring to venture upon his severity with his and their visitors being terrific and he never permitting himself to be approached with the slightest liberty little chapter missing the term of mr s visit was within two days of being out and he was about to dress for another inspection by the chief butler whose victims were always dressed expressly for him when one of the servants of the hotel presented himself bearing a card mr taking it read mrs the servant waited in speechless deference man man said mr turning upon him with grievous indignation explain your motive in bringing me this ridiculous name i am wholly with it sir said mr perhaps himself on the chief butler by substitute ha what do you mean by the man man seemed to mean as much as anything else for he backed away from mr s severe regard as he replied a lady sir i know no such lady sir said mr take this card away i know no of either sex ask your pardon sir the lady said she was aware she might be unknown by name but she begged me to say sir that she had formerly the honor of being acquainted with miss the lady said sir the youngest miss mr his brows and rejoined after a moment or two inform mrs sir the name as if the innocent man were solely responsible for it that she can come up he had reflected in his momentary pause that unless she were admitted she might leave some message or might say something below having a disgraceful reference to that former state of existence hence the concession and hence the appearance of in by the man man i have not the pleasure said mr standing with the card in his hand and with an air which imported that it would scarcely have been a first class pleasure if he had had it of knowing either this name or yourself madam place a chair sir the responsible man with a start obeyed and went out on putting aside her veil with a tremor upon her proceeded to introduce herself at the same time a singular combination of was diffused through the room as if some brandy had been put by mistake in a water bottle or as if some had been put by mistake in a brandy bottle i beg mr to offer a thousand apologies and indeed they would be far too few for such an intrusion which i know must appear extremely bold in a lady and alone too but i thought it best upon the whole however difficult and even apparently improper though h n little d t mr f s aunt would have willingly accompanied and as a character of great force and spirit would probably have struck one possessed of such a knowledge of life as no doubt with so many changes must have been acquired for mr f himself said frequently that although well educated in the neighbourhood of at as high as eighty guineas which is a good deal for parents and the plate kept back too on going away but that is more a meanness than its value that he had learnt more in his first year as a commercial traveller with a large commission on the sale of an article that nobody would hear of much less buy which preceded the wine trade a long time than in the whole six years in that academy conducted by a college bachelor though why a bachelor more clever than a married man i do not see and never did but pray excuse me that is not the point mr stood rooted to the carpet a statue of i must openly admit that i have no pretensions said but having known the dear little thing which under altered circumstances appeal s a liberty but is not so intended and goodness knows there was no favor in half a crown a day to such a needle as herself but quite the other way and as to anything lowering in it far from it the is worthy of his hire and i am sure i only wish he got it oftener and more animal food and less in the back and legs poor soul madam said mr recovering his breath by a great effort as the of the late mr stopped to take hers madam said mr very red in the face if i understand you to refer to ha to anything in the of hum a daughter of mine ha hum daily compensation madam i beg to observe that the ha fact assuming it ha to be fact never was within my knowledge hum i should not have permitted it ha never never unnecessary to pursue the subject returned and would not have mentioned it on any account except as supposing it a favorable and only letter of introduction but as to being fact no doubt whatever and you may set your mind at rest for the very dress i have on now can prove it and sweetly made though there is no denying that it would tell better on a better figure for my own is much too fat though how to bring it down i know not pray excuse me i am off again mr backed to his chair in a stony way and seated himself as gave him a softening look and played with her the | 8 |
dear little thing said having gone off perfectly limp and white and cold in my own house or at least papa s for though not a still a long lease at a on the morning when arthur foolish habit of our youthful days and mr far more adapted to existing circumstances particularly addressing a stranger and that stranger a gentleman in an elevated station communicated the glad tidings imparted by a person of the name of me at the mention of these two names mr frowned stared frowned again hesitated with his fingers at his lips as he had hesitated long ago and said do me the favor to ha state your pleasure madam mr said you are very kind in giving me permission and highly natural it seems to me that you should be kind for though more stately i perceive a likeness filled out of course but a likeness still the object of my is my own without the slightest consultation with any human being and most decidedly not with arthur pray excuse me and i don t know what i am saying mr for to put that individual linked by a golden chain to a purple time when all was ethereal out of any anxiety would be worth to me the of a monarch not that i have the least idea how much that would come to but using it as the total of all i have in the world and more mr without greatly regarding the earnestness of these latter words repeated state your pleasure madam it s not likely i well know said but it s possible and being possible when i had the gratification of reading in the papers that you had arrived from italy and were going back i made up my to try it for you might come across him or hear something of him and if so what a blessing and relief to all allow me to ask madam said mr with his ideas in wild confusion to whom ha to whom he repeated it with a raised voice in mere desperation you at present allude to the foreigner from italy who disappeared in the city as no doubt you have read in the papers equally with myself said not referring to private sources by the name of from which one what dreadfully ill natured some people are wicked enough to whisper most judging others by themselves and what the uneasiness and indignation of arthur quite unable to overcome it and cannot fail to be it happened fortunately for the of any intelligible result that mr had heard or read nothing about the matter this caused mrs with many apologies for being in great practical difficulties as to finding the way to her pocket among the of her dress at length to produce a police setting forth that a foreign gentleman of the name of last from had disappeared on such a night in such a part of the city of london that he was known to have entered such a house at such an hour that he was stated by the inmates of that house to have left it about so many minutes before midnight and that he had never been beheld since this with exact particulars of time and locality and with a good detailed description of the foreign gentleman who had so mysteriously vanished mr read at large said mr and this description i know this gentleman he has been in my house he is intimately acquainted with a gentleman of good family but in indifferent circumstances of whom i am a hum patron then my humble and pressing entreaty is the more said that in travelling back you will have the kindness to look for this foreign gentleman along all the roads and up and down all the and to make for him at all the hotels and orange trees and and and places for he must be some little where and why doesn t he come forward and say he s there and clear all parties up pray madam said mr referring to the again who is and co ha i see the name mentioned here in with the occupation of the house which was seen to enter who is and co is it the individual of whom i had formerly hum some ha slight knowledge and to whom i believe r ou have referred is it ha that person it s a very different person indeed replied with no limbs and wheels instead and the of women though his mother and co a hum a mother exclaimed mr and an old man besides said mr looked as if he must immediately be driven out of his mind by this account neither was it rendered more favorable to by s dashing into a rapid analysis of mr s and describing him without the boundary line of separation between his identity and mrs s as a rusty screw in which compound of man and woman no limbs wheels rusty screw and so completely mr that he was a spectacle to be pitied but i would not detain you one moment longer said upon whom his condition wrought its effect though she was quite unconscious of having produced it if you would have the goodness to give me your promise as a gentleman that both in going back to italy and in italy too you would look for this mr high and low and if you found or heard of him make him come forward for the clearing of all parties by that time mr had so far recovered from his bewilderment as to be able to say in a tolerably connected manner that he should consider that his duty was delighted with her success and rose to take her leave with a million thanks said she and | 8 |
my address upon my card in case of anything to be communicated personally i will not send my love to the dear little thing for it might not be acceptable and indeed there is no dear little thing left in the so why do it but both myself and mr f s aunt ever wish her well and lay no claim to any favor on our side you may be sure of that but quite the other way for what she undertook to do she did and that is more than a great many of us do not to say anything of her doing it as well as it could be done and i myself am one of them for i have said ever since i began to recover the blow of mr f s death that i would learn the organ of which i am extremely fond but of which i am ashamed to say i do not yet know a note good evening when mr who attended her to the room door had had a little time to collect his senses he found that the interview had summoned back discarded reminiscences which with the dinner table he wrote and sent off a brief note himself for that day and ordered dinner presently in his own rooms at the hotel he had another reason for this his time in london was very nearly out and was anticipated by engagements his plans were made for little returning and lie thought it his importance to pursue some direct into the disappearance and be in a condition to carry back to mr henry the result of his own personal investigation he therefore resolved that he would take advantage of that evening s freedom to go down to and co s easily to be found by the direction set forth in the and see the place and ask a question or two there himself having dined as plainly as the establishment and the would let him and having taken a short sleep by the fire for his better recovery from mrs he set out in a alone the deep bell of st paul s was striking nine as he passed under the shadow of temple bar and forlorn in these days as he approached his destination through the bye streets and ways that part of london seemed to him an spot at such an hour than he had ever supposed it to be many long years had passed since he had seen it he had never known much of it and it wore a mysterious and dismal aspect in his eyes so powerfully was his imagination impressed by it that when his driver stopped after having asked the way more than once and said to the best of his belief this was the they wanted mr stood hesitating with the coach door in his hand half afraid of the dark look of the place truly it looked as gloomy that night as even it had ever looked two of the were posted on the entrance wall one on either side and as the lamp in the night air shadows passed over them not unlike the shadows of following the lines a watch was evidently kept upon the place as mr paused a man passed in from over the way and another man passed out from some dark corner within and both looked at him in passing and both remained standing about as there was only one house in the there was no room for uncertainty so he went up the steps of that house and knocked there was a dim light in two windows on the first floor the door gave back a dreary vacant sound as though the house were empty but it was not for a light was visible and a step was audible almost directly they both came to the door and a chain and a woman with her apron thrown over her face and head stood in the who is it said the woman mr much amazed by this appearance replied that he was from italy and that he wished to ask a question relative to the missing person whom he knew hi cried the woman raising a cracked voice upon this a dry old man appeared whom mr thought he identified by his as the rusty screw the woman was under apprehensions of the dry old man for she her apron away as he approached and disclosed a pale face open the door you fool said the old man and let the gentleman in mr not without a glance over his shoulder towards his driver and the walked into the dim hall now sir said little mr you can ask anything here you think proper there are no secrets here sir before a reply could be made a strong stern voice though a woman s called from above who is it who is it returned more a gentleman from italy bring him up here mr muttered as if he deemed that unnecessary but turning to mr said mrs she will do as she likes i ll show the way he then preceded mr up the blackened staircase that gentleman not looking behind him on the road saw the woman following with her apron thrown over her head again in her former ghastly manner mrs had her books open on her little table oh said she abruptly as she eyed her visitor with a steady look you are from italy sir are you well mr was at a loss for any more distinct at the moment than ha well where is this missing man have you come to give us information where he is i hope you have so far from it i hum have come to seek information unfortunately for us there is none to be got here show the gentleman the give him several to take away hold the light for him to read | 8 |
he had given his name number and address to the two men on their joint and also the address at which he had taken mr up the hour at which he had been called from his stand and the way by which he had come this did not make the night s adventure run the less hotly in mr s mind either when he sat down by his fire again or when he went to bed all night he haunted the dismal house saw the two people resolutely waiting heard the woman with her apron over her face cry out about the noise and found the body of the missing now buried in a cellar and now up in a wall little chapter i a castle in the air manifold are the cares of wealth and state mr s satisfaction in remembering that it had not been necessary for him to announce himself to and co or to make an allusion to his having ever had any knowledge of the person of that name had been over night while it was still fresh by a debate that arose within him whether or no he should take the in his way back and look at the old gate he had decided not to do so and astonished the coachman by being very fierce with him for proposing to go over london bridge and the river by bridge a course which would have taken him almost within sight of his old quarters still for all that the question had raised a conflict in his breast and for some odd reason or no reason he was vaguely dissatisfied even at the dinner table next day he was so out of sorts about it that he continued at intervals to turn it over and over in a manner inconsistent with the good society surrounding him it made him hot to think what the chief butler s opinion of him would have been if that illustrious personage could have with that heavy eye of his the stream of his meditations the farewell banquet was of a gorgeous nature and wound up his visit in a most brilliant manner combined with the attractions of her youth and beauty a certain weight of self as if she had been married twenty years he felt that he could leave her with a quiet mind to tread the paths of distinction and wished but without of patronage and without prejudice to the retiring virtues of his favorite child that he had such another daughter my dear he told her at parting our family looks to you to ha assert its dignity and hum maintain its importance i know you will never disappoint it no papa said you may rely upon that i think my best love to dearest and i will write to her very soon shall i convey any message to ha anybody else asked mr in an manner papa said before whom mrs general instantly loomed no i thank you you are very kind pa bat i must beg to be excused there is no other message to send i thank you dear papa that it would be at all agreeable to you to take they parted in an outer drawing room where only mr w t on his lady and his time for shaking hands when mr was admitted to this closing audience mr came creeping in with not much more appearance of arms in his sleeves than if he had been the twin brother of miss and little insisted on mr down stairs all mr s being in vain lie enjoyed the honor of being accompanied to the hall door by this distinguished man who as mr told him in shaking hands on the step had really overwhelmed him with attentions and services during his memorable visit thus they parted mr entering his carriage with a swelling breast not at all sorry that his who had come to take leave in the lower regions should have an opportunity of beholding the grandeur of his departure the grandeur was yet full upon mr when he alighted at his hotel helped out by the and some half dozen of the hotel servants he was passing through the hall with a serene magnificence when lo a sight presented itself that struck him dumb and motionless john ery in his best clothes with his tall hat under his arm his ivory handled cane embarrassing his and a bundle of cigars in his hand young man said the porter this is the gentleman this young man has persisted in waiting sir saying you would be glad to see him mr glared on the young man choked and said in the of tones ah young john it is young john i think is it not yes sir returned young john i ha thought it was young john said mr the young man may come up turning to the attendants as he passed on oh yes he may come up let young john follow i will speak to him above young john followed smiling and much gratified mr s rooms were reached candles were lighted the attendants withdrew now sir said mr turning round upon him and seizing him by the collar when they were safely alone what do you mean by this the amazement and horror depicted in the unfortunate john s for he had rather expected to be embraced next were of that powerfully expressive nature that mr withdrew his hand and merely glared at him how dare you do this said mr how do you presume to come here how dare you insult me i insult you sir cried young john oh yes sir returned mr insult me your coming here is an an impertinence an audacity you are not wanted here who sent you here what ha the devil do you do here i | 8 |
thought sir said young john with as pale and shocked a face as ever had been turned to mr s in his life even in his college life i thought sir you t object to have the goodness to accept a bundle damn your bundle sir cried mr in irrepressible rage i hum don t smoke i humbly beg your pardon sir you used to y f yo y little tell me that again cried mr quite beside himself and i ll take the to you john backed to the door stop sir cried mr stop sit down confound you sit down john dropped into the chair nearest the door and mr walked up and down the room rapidly at first then more slowly once he went to the window and stood there with his forehead against the glass all of a sudden he turned and said what else did you come for sir nothing else in the world sir oh dear me only to say sir that i hoped you was well and only to ask if miss was well what s that to you sir retorted mr it s nothing to me sir by rights i never thought of the distance us i am sure i know it s a liberty sir but i never thought you d have taken it ill upon my word and honor sir said young john with emotion in my poor way i am too proud to have come i assure you if i had thought so mr was ashamed he went back to the window and leaned hie forehead against the glass for some time when he turned he had his handkerchief in his hand and he had been wiping his eyes with it and he looked tired and ill young john i am very sorry to have been hasty with you but ha some are not happy and hum you shouldn t have come i feel that now sir returned john but i didn t before and heaven knows i meant no harm sir no no said mr lam sure of that ha give me your hand young john give me your hand young john gave it but mr had driven his heart out of it and nothing could change his face now from its white shocked look there said mr slowly shaking hands with him sit down again young john thank you sir but i d rather stand mr sat down instead after painfully holding his head a little while he turned it to his visitor and said with an effort to be easy and how is father young john how ha how are they all young john thank you sir they re all pretty well sir they re not any ways complaining hum you are in your ha old business i see john said mr with a glance at the offending bundle he had partly sir i am in my john hesitated a little father s business likewise oh indeed said mr do you ha hum go upon the ha lock sir yes sir much to do john little d yes sir we re pretty heavy at present i don t know how it is hut we generally are pretty heavy at this time of the year young john mostly at all times of the year sir i don t know the time that makes much difference to us i wish you good night sir stay a moment john ha stay a moment hum leave me the cigars john i ha beg certainly sir john put them with a trembling hand on the table stay a moment young john stay another moment it would be a ha a gratification to me to send a little hum by such a messenger to be divided among ha hum them them according to their wants would you object to take it john not in any ways sir there s many of them i m sure that would be the better for it thank you john i ha i ll write it john his hand shook so that he was a long time writing it and wrote it in a tremulous at last it was a for one hundred pounds he folded it up put it in young john s hand and pressed the hand in his i hope you ll ha overlook hum what has passed john don t speak of it sir on any accounts i don t in any ways bear malice i m sure but nothing while john was there could change john s face to its natural color and expression or restore john s natural manner and john said mr giving his hand a final pressure and it i hope we ha agree that we have spoken together in confidence and that you will in going out from saying anything to any one that might hum suggest that ha once i oh i assure you sir returned john very in my poor humble way sir i m too proud and honorable to do it sir mr was not too proud and honorable to listen at the door that he might ascertain for himself whether john really went straight out or lingered to have any talk with any one there was no doubt that he went direct out at the door and away down the street with a quick step after remaining alone for an hour mr rang for the who found him with his chair on the sitting with his back towards him and his face to the fire you can take that bundle of cigars to smoke on the journey if you like said mr with a careless wave of his hand ha brought | 8 |
by hum little offering from ha son of old tenant of mine next morning s sun saw mr s upon the road where every red was the sign of a cruel house established for the of travellers the whole business of the human race between london and being mr was way laid at at at at and at however it being the s business to get him out of the hands of the little the bought him off at every stage and so the went gleaming merrily along the spring landscape rising and falling to a regular measure between mr in his snug corner and the next rise in the dusty highway another day s sun saw him at and having now got the channel between himself and john he began to feel safe and to find that the foreign air was lighter to breathe than the air of england on again by the heavy french roads for paris having now quite recovered his mr in his snug corner fell to as he rode along it was evident that he had a very large castle in hand all day long he was running towers up taking towers down adding a wing here putting on a there looking to the walls the giving ornamental touches to the interior making in all respects a superb castle of it his face so clearly the pursuit in which he was engaged that every at the post houses not blind who his little battered tin box in at the carriage window for charity in the name of heaven charity in the name of our lady charity in the name of all the saints knew as well what work he was at as their le could have known it himself though he had made that english traveller the subject of a special arrived at paris and resting there three days mr strolled much about the streets alone looking in at the shop windows and particularly the windows ultimately he went into the most famous s and said he wanted to buy a little gift for a lady it was a charming little woman to whom he said it a little woman dressed in perfect taste who came out of a green velvet bower to attend upon him from up some dainty little books of account which one could hardly suppose to be ruled for the entry of any articles more commercial than kisses at a dainty little shining desk which looked in itself like a example then said the little woman what species of gift did desire a love gift mr smiled and said eh well perhaps what did he know it was always possible the sex being so charming would she show him some most willingly said the little woman flattered and enchanted to show him many but pardon to begin with he would have the great goodness to observe that there were love gifts and there were gifts example these ear rings and this so superb to correspond were what one called a these and these rings of a beauty so gracious and celestial were what one called with the permission of gifts perhaps it would be a good arrangement mr hinted smiling to purchase both and to present the love gift first and to finish with the offering little t ah heaven said tlie little woman laying the tips of the fingers of her two little hands against each other that would he generous indeed that would he a special gallantry and without the lady so crushed with gifts would find them irresistible mr was not sure of that but for example the little woman was very sure of it she said so mr bought a gift of each sort and paid handsomely for it as lie strolled back to his hotel afterwards he carried his head high having plainly got up his castle now o a much than the two square towers of dame building away with all his might but the plans of his castle exclusively for his own eye mr posted away for building on building on busily busily from morning to night falling asleep and leaving great blocks of building material dangling in the air waking again to resume work and get them into their places what time the in the smoking young john s best cigars left a little thread of thin light smoke behind perhaps as he built a castle or two with stray pieces of mr s money not a fortified town that they passed in all their journey was as strong not a cathedral summit was as high as mr s castle neither the nor the sped with the swiftness of that building nor was the deeper than its foundations nor were the distant on the road nor the hills and bay of the superb more beautiful mr and his castle were among the dirty white houses and of and thence scrambled on to home as they could through the that on the way little chapter the of the castle in the air the sun had gone down full four hours and it was later than most travellers would like it to be for finding themselves outside the walls of when mr s carriage still on its last wearisome stage rattled over the solitary the savage and the fierce looking who had the way while the light lasted had all gone down with the sun and left the wilderness blank at some turns of the road a pale on the horizon like an from the ruin sown land showed that the city was yet far off but this poor relief was rare and short lived the carriage dipped down again into a hollow of the black dry sea and for a long time there was nothing visible save its swell and the gloomy sky mr though he had his castle building to engage his mind could not be | 8 |
stood in the doorway little with a cry of pleasure put her arms about her father s neck and kissed him again and again her father was a little impatient and a little i am glad to find you at last he said ha really i am glad to find hum anyone to receive me at last i appear to have been ha so little expected that upon my word i began ha hum to think it might be right to offer an apology for ha taking the liberty of coming back at all it was so late my dear william said his brother that we had given you up for to night i am stronger than you dear returned his brother with an of in which there was severity and i hope i can travel without at ha any hour i choose surely surely returned the other with a that he had given offence surely william thank you pursued mr as she helped him to put off his i can do if without assistance i ha need not trouble you could i have a morsel of bread and a glass of wine or hum would it cause too much inconvenience dear father you shall have supper in a very few minutes thank you my love said mr with a frost upon him i ha am afraid i am causing inconvenience hum mrs general pretty well mrs general complained of a headache and of being fatigued and so when we gave you up she went to bed dear perhaps mr thought that mrs general had done well in being overcome by the disappointment of his not arriving at any rate his face relaxed and he said with obvious satisfaction extremely sorry to hear that mrs general is not well during this short dialogue his daughter had been observant of him with something more than her usual interest it would seem as though he had a changed or worn appearance in her eyes and he perceived and resented it for he said with renewed when he had himself of his travelling cloak and had come to the fire what are you looking at what do you see in me that causes you to ha your solicitude on me in that hum very particular manner i i little i did not know it father i beg pardon it my eyes to see you again that s all don t say that s all because ha that s not all you you think said mr with an emphasis that i am not looking well i thought you looked a little tired love then you are mistaken said mr u ha i am not tired ha hum i am very much than i was when i went away he was so inclined to be angry that she said nothing more in her justification but remained quietly beside him embracing his arm as he stood thus with his brother on the other side he fell into a heavy of not a minute s duration and awoke with a start he said turning on his brother i recommend you to go to bed immediately william i ll wait and see you sup he retorted i beg you to go to bed i ha make it a personal request that you go to bed you ought to have been in bed long ago you are very feeble said the old man who had no wish but to please him u well well well i dare say i am my dear returned mr with an astonishing superiority to his brother s failing powers there can be no doubt of it it is painful to me to see you so weak ha it me hum i don t find you looking at all well you are not fit for this sort of thing you should be more careful you should be very careful shall i go to bed asked u dear said mr do i you brother i hope you will be stronger to morrow i am not at all pleased with your looks good night fellow after his brother in this gracious way he fell into a again before the old was well out of the room and he would have stumbled forward upon the logs but for his daughter s hold your uncle very much he said when he was thus roused he is less ha and his conversation is more hum broken than i have ha hum ever known has he had any illness since i have been gone no father you ha see a great change in him i had not observed it dear greatly broken said mr greatly broken my poor affectionate failing ha even taking into account what he was before he is hum sadly broken his supper which was brought to him there and spread upon the little table where he had seen her working diverted his attention she sat at his side as in the days that were gone for the first time since those days ended they were alone and she helped him to his meat and poured out his drink for him as she had been used to do in the prison all this happened now for the first time since their accession to wealth she was afraid to look at him much after the offence he had taken j but she noticed two occasions in the course of little his meal when he all of a sudden looked at her and looked about him as if the association were so strong that he needed assurance from his sense of sight that they were not in the old prison room both times he put his hand to his head as if he missed | 8 |
his old black cap though it had been given away in the and had never got free to that hour but still about the yards on the head of his successor he took very little supper but was a long time over it and often to his brother s declining state though he expressed the greatest pity for him he was almost bitter upon him he said that poor ha hum there was no other word to express it poor fellow it was melancholy to reflect what must have undergone from the excessive of his society wandering and on poor dear creature wandering and on if it had not been for the relief she had had in mrs general extremely sorry he then repeated with his former satisfaction that that ha superior woman was poorly little in her watchful love would have remembered the thing he said or did that night though she had had no subsequent reason to recall that night she always remembered that when he looked about him under the strong influence of the old association he tried to keep it out of her mind and perhaps out of his own too by immediately on the great riches and great company that had him in his absence and on the lofty position he and his family had to sustain nor did she fail to recall that there were two under currents side by side all his discourse and all his manner one showing her how well he had got on without her and how independent he was of her the other in a fitful and unintelligible way almost complaining of her as if it had been possible that she had neglected him while he was away his telling her of the glorious state that mr kept and of the court that bowed before him naturally brought him p mrs so naturally indeed that although there was an unusual want of in the greater part of his remarks he passed to her at once and asked how she was she is very well she is going away next week home asked mr after a few weeks stay upon the road she will be a vast loss here said mr a vast ha acquisition at home to and to hum the rest of the ha great world little thought of the competition that was to be entered upon and assented very softly mrs is going to have a great farewell assembly dear and a dinner before it she has been expressing her anxiety that you should return in time she has invited both you and me to her dinner she is ha very kind when is the day the day after to morrow write round in the morning and say that i have returned and shall hum be delighted little may i walk with you up the stairs to your room dear no he answered looking angrily round for he was moving away as if forgetful of leave taking you may not i want no help i am your father not your uncle he checked himself as abruptly as he had broken into this reply and said you have not kissed me good night my dear we must marry ha we must marry you now with that he went more slowly and more tired up the staircase to his rooms and almost as soon as he got there dismissed his his next care was to look about him for his paris purchases and after opening their cases and carefully surveying them to put them away under lock and key after that what with and what with castle building he lost himself for a long time so that there was a touch of morning on the eastward rim of the desolate when he crept to bed mrs general sent up her compliments in good time next day and hoped he had rested well after his journey he sent down his compliments and begged to inform mrs general that he had rested very well indeed and was in high condition nevertheless he did not come forth from his own rooms until late in the afternoon and although he then caused himself to be arrayed for a drive with mrs general and his daughter his appearance was scarcely up to his description of himself as the family had no visitors that day its four members dined alone together he conducted mrs general to the seat at his right hand with immense ceremony and little could not but notice as she followed with her uncle both that he was again dressed and that his manner towards mrs general was very particular the perfect formation of that accomplished lady s surface rendered it difficult to an of its genteel but little thought she a slight of triumph in a corner of her frosty eye notwithstanding what may be called in these pages the and nature of the family banquet mr several times fell asleep while it was in progress his fits of were as sudden as they had been over night and were as short and profound when the first of these seized him mrs general looked almost amazed but on each of the symptoms she told her polite beads papa potatoes poultry and and by of going through that performance very slowly appeared to finish her at about the same time as mr started from his sleep he was again painfully aware of a tendency in which had no existence out of his own imagination and after dinner when had withdrawn privately to mrs general for the poor man the most and affectionate of brothers he said but ha hum broken up altogether unhappily declining fast mr sir mrs general is habitually absent and drooping but let us hope it is not so bad as that mr however was determined not to | 8 |
let him off fast declining madam a wreck a ruin away before our eyes hum good little you left mrs quite well and happy i trust said mrs general after heaving a cool sigh for surrounded replied mr by ha all that can charm the taste and hum the mind happy my dear madam in a hum husband mrs general was a little fluttered seeming delicately to put the word away with her gloves as if there were no knowing what it might lead to mr continued mrs general has high qualities ha ambition hum purpose consciousness of ha position determination to support that position ha hum grace beauty and native nobility no doubt said mrs general with a little extra combined with these qualities madam said mr has ha manifested one which has made me hum made me uneasy and ha i must add angry but which i trust may now be considered at an end even as to herself and which is undoubtedly at an end as to ha others to what mr returned mrs general with her gloves again somewhat excited can you allude i am at a loss to do not say that my dear madam interrupted mr mrs general s voice as it died away pronounced the words at a loss to imagine after which mr was seized with a for about a minute out of which he sprang with i refer mrs general to that ha strong spirit of opposition or hum i might say ha jealousy in which has occasionally risen against the ha sense i entertain of hum the claims of ha the lady with whom i have now the honor of mr returned mrs general is ever but too obliging ever but too if there have been moments when i have imagined that miss has indeed resented the favorable opinion mr has formed of my services i have found in that only too high opinion my consolation and opinion of your services madam said mr of mrs general repeated in an impressive manner my services of your services alone dear madam said mr i presume retorted mrs general in her former impressive manner of my services alone for to what else said mrs general with a slightly action of her gloves could i to ha yourself mrs general ha hum to yourself and your merits was mr s mr will pardon me said mrs general u if i remark that this is not a time or place for the pursuit of the present conversation mr will excuse me if i remind him that miss is in the adjoining room and is visible to myself while i utter her name mr will forgive me if i observe that i am agitated and that i find there are moments when weaknesses i supposed myself to have subdued return with power mr will allow me to withdraw little hum perhaps we may resume this ha interesting conversation said mr at another time unless it should be what i hope it is not hum in any way disagreeable to ha mrs general mr said mrs general casting down her eyes as she rose with a bend must ever claim my homage and obedience mrs general then took herself off in a stately way and not with that amount of upon her which might have been expected in a less remarkable woman mr who had conducted his part of the dialogue with a certain majestic and admiring condescension much as some people may be seen to conduct themselves in church and to perform their part in the service appeared on the whole very well satisfied with himself and with mrs general too on the return of that lady to tea she had touched herself up with a little powder and and was not without moral likewise the latter showing itself in much sweet patronage of manner towards miss and in an air of as tender interest in mr as was consistent with rigid propriety at the close of the evening when she rose to retire mr took her by the hand as if he were going to lead her out into the of the people to walk a by moonlight and with great solemnity conducted her to the room door where he raised her to his lips having parted from her with what may be to have been a rather bony kiss of a flavor he gave his daughter his blessing graciously and having thus hinted that there was something remarkable in the wind he again went to bed he remained in the seclusion of his own chamber next morning but early in the afternoon sent down his best compliments to mrs general by mr and begged she would accompany miss on an without him his daughter was dressed for mrs s dinner before he appeared he then presented himself in a condition as to his attire but looking and old however as he was plainly determined to be angry with her if she so much as asked him how he was she only ventured to kiss his cheek before accompanying him to mrs s with an anxious heart the distance that they had to go was very short but he was at his building work again before the carriage had half traversed it mrs received him with great distinction the bosom was in admirable preservation and on the best terms with itself the dinner was very choice and the company was very select it was principally english saving that it the usual french count and the usual italian social always to be found in certain places and varying very little in appearance the table was long and the dinner was long and little | 8 |
them for the old weary tread in the yards when the hour came for up he supposed all strangers to be excluded for the night when the time for opening came again he was so anxious to see bob that they were fain to patch up a narrative how that bob many a year dead then gentle had taken cold but hoped to be out to morrow or the next day or the next at he fell away into a weakness so extreme that he could not raise his hand but he still protected his brother according to his long usage and would say with some complacency fifty times a day when he saw him standing by his bed my good sit down you are very feeble indeed they tried him with mrs general but he had not the faintest knowledge of her some injurious suspicion lodged itself in his brain that she wanted to mrs and that she was given to drinking he charged her with it in no measured terms and was so urgent with his daughter to go round to the and entreat him to turn her out that she was never after the first failure saving that he once asked if tip had gone outside the remembrance of his two children not present seemed to have departed little from him but the child who had done so much for him and had been so poorly repaid was never out of his mind not that he spared her or was fearful of her being spent by watching and fatigue he was not more troubled on that score than he had usually been no he loved her in his old way they were in the jail again and she tended him and he had constant need of her and could not turn without her and he even told her sometimes that he was content to have undergone a great deal for her sake as to her she bent over his bed with her quiet face against his and would have laid down her own life to restore him when he had been sinking in this way for two or three days she observed him to be troubled by the of his watch a gold watch that made as great a to do about its going as if nothing else went but itself and time she suffered it to run down but he was still uneasy and showed that was not what he wanted at length he roused himself to explain that he wanted money to be raised on this watch he was quite pleased when she pretended to take it away for the purpose and afterwards had a relish for his little tastes of wine and that he had not had before he soon made it plain that this was so for in another day or two he sent off his sleeve buttons and finger rings he had an amazing satisfaction in her with these errands and appeared to consider it equivalent to making the most and arrangements after his or such of them as he had been able to see about him were gone his clothes engaged his attention and it is as likely as not that he was kept alive for some days hj the satisfaction of sending them piece by piece to an imaginary s thus for ten days little bent over his pillow laying her cheek against his sometimes she was so worn out that for a few minutes they would slumber together then she would awake to recollect with fast flowing silent tears what it was that touched her face and to see stealing over the cherished face upon the pillow a deeper shadow than the shadow of the wall quietly quietly all the lines of the plan of the great castle melted one after another quietly quietly the ruled and cross ruled countenance on which they were traced became fair and blank quietly quietly the reflected marks of the prison bars and of the iron on the avail top faded away quietly quietly the face subsided into a far younger likeness of her own than she had ever seen under the grey hair and sank to rest at first her uncle was distracted my brother william william you to go before me you to go alone you to go and i to remain you so far superior so distinguished so noble i a poor useless creature fit for nothing and whom no one would have missed it did her for the time the good of having him to think of and to uncle dear uncle spare yourself spare me the old man was not deaf to the last words when he did begin to restrain himself it was that he might spare her he had no care little for himself but with all the remaining power of the honest heart stunned so long and now to be broken he honored and blessed her god he cried before they left the room with his wrinkled hands clasped over her thou this daughter of my dear dead brother all that i have looked upon with my half blind and sinful eyes thou hast discerned clearly brightly not a hair of her head shall be before thee thou wilt her here to her last hour and i know thou wilt reward her hereafter they remained in a dim room near until it was almost midnight quiet and sad together at times his grief would seek relief in a burst like that in which it had found its earliest expression but besides that his little strength would soon have been unequal to such strains he never failed to recall her words and to reproach himself and calm himself the only utterance with which he indulged his sorrow was the frequent exclamation that his brother was gone alone that they had been together in the outset of their lives that they had fallen into | 8 |
misfortune together that they had kept together through their many years of poverty that they had remained together to that day and that his brother was gone alone alone they parted heavy and sorrowful she would not consent to leave him anywhere but in his own room and she saw him lie down in his clothes upon his bed and covered him with her own hands then she sank upon her own bed and fell into a deep sleep the sleep of exhaustion and rest though not of complete release from a consciousness of affliction sleep good little sleep through the night it was a moonlight night but the moon rose late being long past the full when it was high in the peaceful it shone through half closed blinds into the solemn room where the and wanderings of a life had so lately ended two quiet figures were within the room two figures equally still and equally removed by an distance from the earth and all that it contains though soon to lie in it one figure upon the bed the other kneeling on the floor drooped over it the arms easily and peacefully resting on the the face bowed down so that the lips touched the hand over which with its last breath it had bent the two brothers were before their father far beyond the twilight judgments of this world high above its mists and am little chapter xx the next the passengers were landing from the packet on the pier at a low lying place and a low spirited place was with the tide out towards low water mark there had been no more water on the bar than had to float the packet in and now the bar itself with a shallow break of sea over it looked like a lazy marine monster just risen to the surface whose form was shown as it lay asleep the meagre all in white haunting the as if it were the ghost of an edifice that had once had color and melancholy tears after its late by the waves the long rows of gaunt black piles and wet and weather worn with funeral of sea weed twisted about them by the late tide might have represented an marine every wave dashed storm beaten object was so low and so little under the broad grey sky in the noise of the wind and sea and before the curling lines of surf making at it that the wonder was there was any left and that its low gates and low wall and low roofs and low and low sand hills and low and flat streets had not yielded long ago to the and sea like the children make on the sea shore after slipping among piles and stumbling up wet steps and many salt difficulties the passengers entered on their along the pier where all the french and english in the town half the population attended to prevent their recovery from bewilderment after being by all the english and claimed and and counter claimed as by all the french in a hand to hand three quarters of a mile long they were at last free to enter the streets and to make off in their various directions hotly pursued harassed by more anxieties than one was among this devoted band having rescued the most of his from situations of great extremity he now went his way alone or as nearly alone as he could be with a native gentleman in a suit of and a cap of the same material giving at a distance of some fifty yards and continually calling after him hi ice say you ice say nice even this hospitable person however was left behind at last and pursued his way there was a tranquil air in the town after the of the channel and the beach and its in that comparison was agreeable he met new groups of his countrymen who had all a straggling air of having at one time over blown themselves like certain uncomfortable kinds of flowers and of being now mere weeds they had all an air too of little ing out a limited round day after day which strongly reminded him of the but taking no further note of them than was sufficient to give birth to the reflection he sought out a certain street and number which he kept in his mind so said he murmured to himself as he stopped before a dull house answering to the address i suppose his information to be correct and his discovery among mr s loose papers but without it i should hardly have supposed this to be a likely place a dead sort of house with a dead wall over the way and a dead at the side where a bell handle produced two dead and a produced a dead flat surface tapping that seemed not to have depth enough in it to penetrate even the cracked door however the door open on a dead sort of spring and he closed it behind him as he entered a dull yard soon brought to a close at the back by another dead wall where an attempt had been made to train some creeping shrubs which were dead and to make a little fountain in a which was dry and to that with a little statue which was gone the entry to the house was on the left and it was as the outer was with two printed bills in french and english announcing furnished apartments to let with immediate possession a strong cheerful peasant woman all white cap and ear ring stood here in a dark doorway and said with a pleasant show of teeth ice say who replying in french said the english lady he wished to see the english lady enter then and ascend if you please returned the peasant woman in french likewise he did both and followed her up | 8 |
a dark bare staircase to a back room on the first floor hence there was a gloomy view of the yard that was dull and of the shrubs that were dead and of the fountain that was dry and of the of the statue that was gone said with pleasure thereupon the woman withdrew and left him to look at the room it was the pattern of room always to be found in such a house cool dull and dark floor very slippery a room not large enough to in not adapted to the easy pursuit of any other occupation and white windows little straw mat little round table with a tumultuous assemblage of legs underneath clumsy rush chairs two great red velvet affording plenty of space to be uncomfortable in chimney glass in several pieces pretending to be in one piece pair of gaudy of very artificial flowers between them a greek warrior with his off sacrificing a clock to the genius of france after some pause a door of communication with another room was opened and a lady entered she manifested great surprise on seeing and her glance went round the room in search of some one else pardon me miss i am alone it was not your name that was brought to me little i know that excuse me i have already had experience that my name does not you to an interview and i ventured to mention the name of one i am in search of pray she returned him to a chair so coldly that he remained standing what name was it that you gave i mentioned the name of a name you are acquainted with it is strange she said frowning that you should still press an interest in me and my acquaintances in me and my affairs mr i don t know what you mean pardon me you know the name what can you have to do with the name what can i have to do with the name what can you have to do with my knowing or not knowing any name i know many names and i have forgotten many more this may he in the one class or it may be in the other or i may never have heard it i am acquainted with no reason for examining myself or for being examined about it if you will allow me said i will tell you my reason for pressing the subject i admit that i do press it and i must beg you to forgive me if i do so very earnestly the reason is all mine i do not that it is in any way yours well sir she returned repeating a little less than before her former invitation to him to be seated to which he now deferred as she seated herself i am at least glad to know that this is not another of some friend of yours who is of free choice and whom i have spirited away i will hear your reason if you please first to identify the person of whom we speak said let me observe that it is the person you met in london some time back you will remember meeting him near the river in the you mix yourself most with my business she replied looking full at him with stern displeasure how do you know that i entreat you not to take it ill by mere accident what accident solely the accident of coming upon you in the street and seeing the meeting do you speak of yourself or of some one else of myself i saw it to be sure it was in the open street she observed after a few moments of less and less angry reflection fifty people might have seen it it would have signified nothing if they had nor do i make my having seen it of any moment nor otherwise than as an explanation of my coming here do i connect my visit with it or the favor that i have to ask oh you have to ask a favor it occurred to me and the handsome face looked bitterly at him that your manner was softened mr he was content to protest against this by a slight action without little d r it it in words he then referred to disappearance of which it was probable she had heard no however probable it was to him she had heard of no thing let him look him she said and judge for himself what general intelligence was likely to reach the ears of a woman who had been shut up there while it was devouring her own heart when she had uttered this denial which he believed to be true she asked him what he meant by disappearance that led to his the circumstances in detail and expressing something of his anxiety to discover what had really become of the man and to the dark suspicions that clouded about his mother s house she heard him with evident surprise and with more marks of suppressed interest than he had before seen in her still they did not overcome her distant proud and self secluded manner when he had finished she said nothing but these words you have not yet told me sir what i have to do with it or what the favor is will you be so good as come to that i assume said arthur in his endeavour to soften her scornful that being in communication may i say confidential communication with this person you may say of course whatever you like she remarked but i do not to your mr or to any one s that being at least in personal communication with him said changing the form of his position in the hope of making it you can tell me something of his pursuits habits usual place of residence can give me some little clue | 8 |
by which to seek him out in the manner and either produce him or establish what has become of him this is the favor i ask and i ask it in a distress of mind for which i hope you will feel some consideration if you should have any reason for imposing conditions upon me i will respect it without asking what it is you chanced to see me in the street with the man she observed after being to his mortification evidently more occupied with her own reflections on the matter than with his appeal then you knew the man before not before afterwards i never saw him before but i saw him again on this very night of his disappearance in my mother s room in fact i left him there you will read in this paper all that is known of him he handed her one of the printed bills which she read with a steady and attentive face this is more than knew of him she said giving it back s looks expressed his heavy disappointment perhaps his incredulity for she added in the same tone you don t believe it still it is so as to personal communication it seems that there was personal communication between him and your mother and yet you say you believe declaration that she knows no more of him t a sufficiently expressive hint of suspicion was conveyed in these words and in the smile by which they were accompanied to bring the blood into s cheeks little come sir she said with a cruel pleasure in repeating the i will be as open with you as you can desire i will confess that if i cared for my credit which i do not or had a good name to preserve which i have not for i am utterly to its being considered good or bad i should regard myself as heavily by having had anything to do with this fellow yet he never passed in at my door never sat in with me until midnight she took her revenge for her old grudge in thus turning his subject against him her s was not the nature to spare him and she had no that he is a low wretch that i first saw him about italy where i was not long ago and that i hired him there as the suitable instrument of a purpose i happened to have i have no objection to tell you in short it was worth my while for my own pleasure the gratification of a strong feeling to pay a spy who would fetch and carry for money i paid this creature and i dare say that if i had wanted to make such a bargain and if i could have paid him enough and if he could have done it in the dark free from all risk he would have taken any life with as little scruple as he took my money that at least is my opinion of him and i see it is not very far removed from yours your mother s opinion of him i am to assume following your example of assuming this and that was vastly different my mother let me remind you said was first brought into communication with him in the unlucky course of business it appears to have been an unlucky course of business that last brought her into communication with him returned miss and business hours on that occasion were late you imply said arthur under these cool handed of which he had deeply felt the force already that there was something mr she interrupted recollect that i do not speak by about the man he is i say again without disguise a low wretch i suppose such a creature goes where there is occasion for him if i had not had occasion for him you would not have seen him and me together wrung by her in keeping that dark side of the case before him of which there was a half hidden shadow in his own breast was silent i have spoken of him as still living she added but he r have been put out of the way for anything i know for anything i care also i have no further occasion for him with a heavy sigh and a air arthur slowly rose she did not rise also but said having looked at him in the meanwhile with a fixed look of suspicion and lips angrily compressed he was the chosen associate of your dear friend mr was he not why don t you ask your dear friend to help you the denial that he was a dear friend rose to arthur s lips but he repressed it remembering his old and resolutions and said little further than that he has never seen since set out for england mr knows nothing additional about him he was a chance acquaintance made abroad a chance acquaintance made abroad she repeated yes your dear friend has need to divert himself with all the acquaintances he can make seeing what a wife he has i hate his wife sir the anger with which she said it the more remarkable for being so much under her restraint fixed s attention and kept him on the spot it flashed out of her dark eyes as they regarded him quivered in her nostrils and fired the very breath she but her face was otherwise composed into a serenity and her attitude was as calmly and graceful as if she had been in a mood of complete indifference all i will say is miss he remarked that you can have received no provocation to a feeling in which i believe you have no you may ask your dear friend if you choose she returned for his opinion upon that subject i am scarcely on those intimate terms with my dear friend said arthur in | 8 |
spite of his resolutions that would render my approaching the subject very probable miss i hate him she returned worse than his wife because i was once enough and false enough to myself almost to love him you have seen me sir only on common place occasions when i dare say you have thought me a common place woman a little more self willed than the you don t know what i mean by if you know me no better than that you can t know without knowing with what care i have studied myself and people about me for this reason i have for some time inclined to tell you what my life has been not to your opinion for i set no value on it but that you may comprehend when you think of your dear friend and his dear wife what i mean by shall i give you something i have written and put by for your perusal or shall i hold my hand arthur begged her to give it to him she went to the unlocked it and took from an inner drawer a few folded sheets of paper without any of him scarcely addressing him rather speaking as if she were speaking to her own looking glass for the justification of her own she said as she gave them to him now you may know what i mean by no more of that sir whether you find me temporarily and lodging in an empty london house or in a apartment you find with me you may like to see her before you leave come in she called again the second call produced once here is mr said miss not come for you he has given you up i suppose you have by this time having no authority or influence yes assented not come in search of you you see but still seeking some one he wants that man with whom i saw you in the strand in london hinted arthur little if you know anything of him except that he came from which we all know tell it to mr freely i know nothing more about him said the girl are you satisfied miss of arthur he had no reason to them the girl s manner being so natural as to be almost convincing if he had had any previous doubts he replied i must seek for intelligence elsewhere he was not going in the same breath but he had risen before the girl entered and she evidently thought he was she looked quickly at him and said are they weu sir who she stopped herself in saying what would have been all of them glanced at miss and said mr and mrs they were when i last heard of them they are not at home by the way let me ask you is it true that you were seen there where where does any one say i was seen returned the girl sullenly casting down her eyes looking in at the garden gate of the cottage no said miss she has never been near it you are wrong then said the girl f i went down there the last time we were in london i went one afternoon when you left me alone and i did look in you poor spirited girl returned miss with infinite contempt does all our companionship do all our conversations do all your old tell for so little as that there was no harm in looking in at the gate for an instant said the girl i saw by the windows that the family were not there why should you go near the place because i wanted to see it because i felt that i should like to look at it again as each of the two handsome faces looked at the other felt how each of the two natures must be constantly tearing the other to pieces oh said miss coldly and removing her glance if you had any desire to see the place where you led the life from which i rescued you because you had found out what it was that is another thing but is that your truth to me is that your fidelity to me is that the common cause i make with you you are not worth the confidence i have placed in you you are not worth the favor i have shown you you are no higher than a and had better go back to the people who did worse than whip you if you speak so of them with any one else by to hear you ll provoke me to take their part said the girl go back to them miss retorted go back to them you know very well retorted in her turn that i won t go back to them you know very well that i have thrown them off and never can never shall never will go back to them let them alone then miss you prefer their plenty to your less fat living here she rejoined you them and slight me what else should i have expected i ought to have known it little it s not so said the girl flushing high and you don t say what you mean i know what you mean you are me under handed with having nobody but you to look to and because i have nobody but you to look to you think you are to make me do or not do everything you please and are to put any upon me you are as bad as they were every bit but i will not be quite tamed and made i will say again that i went to look at the house because i had often thought that i should like to see it once more i will ask again how they are because i once liked them and at times thought they | 8 |
were kind to me said that he was sure they would still receive her kindly if she should ever desire to return never said the girl passionately i shall never do that nobody knows that better than miss though she me because she has made me her and i know i am so and i know she is when she can bring it to my mind a good pretence said miss with no less anger and bitterness but too to cover what i plainly see in this my poverty will not bear competition with their money better go back at once better go back at once and have done with it arthur looked at them standing a little distance asunder in the dull confined room each proudly her own anger each with a fixed determination her own breast and the other s he said a word or two of leave taking but miss barely inclined her head and with the assumed humiliation of an abject and but not without defiance for all that made as if she were too low to notice or to be noticed he came down the dark winding stairs into the yard with an increased sense upon him of the gloom of the wall that was dead and of the shrubs that were dead and of the fountain that was dry and of the statue that was gone pondering much on what he had seen and heard in that house as well as on the failure of all his efforts to trace the suspicious character who was lost he returned to london and to england by the packet that had taken him over on the way he unfolded the sheets of paper and read in them what is in the next chapter chapter xxi the history of a self i have the misfortune of not being a fool a very early age i have detected what those about me thought they hid from me if i could have been habitually imposed upon instead of habitually the truth i might have lived as smoothly as most fools do my childhood was passed with a grandmother that is to say with a lady who represented that relative to me and who took that little title on herself she had no claim to it but i being to that extent a little fool had no suspicion of her she had some children of her own family in her house and some children of all girls ten including me we all lived together and were educated together i must have been about twelve years old when i began to see how those girls me i was told i was an orphan there was no other orphan among us and i perceived here was the first disadvantage of not being a fool that they me in an insolent pity and in a sense of superiority i did not set this down as a discovery i tried them often i could hardly make them quarrel with me when i succeeded with any of them they were sure to come after an hour or two and begin a reconciliation i tried them over and over again and i never knew them wait for me to begin they were always me in their vanity and condescension little images of grown people one of them was my chosen friend i loved that stupid in a passionate way that she could no more deserve than i can remember without feeling ashamed of though i was but a child she had what they called an amiable temper an affectionate temper she could and did pretty looks and smiles to every one among them i believe there was not a soul in the place except myself who knew that she did it purposely to wound and me nevertheless i so loved that unworthy girl that my life was made stormy by my fondness for her i was constantly and disgraced for what was called trying her in other words charging her with her little and throwing her into tears by showing her that i read her heart however i loved her faithfully and one time i went home with her for the holidays she was worse at home than she had been at school she had a crowd of cousins and acquaintances and we had dances at her house and went out to dances at other houses and both at home and out she tormented my love beyond endurance her plan was to make them all fond of her and so drive me wild with jealousy to be familiar and with them all and so make me mad with them when we were left alone in our bedroom at night i would reproach her with my perfect knowledge of her and then she would cry and cry and say i was cruel and then i would hold her in my arms till morning loving her as much as ever and often feeling as if rather than suffer so i could so hold her in my arms and plunge to the bottom of a river where i would still hold her after we were both dead it came to an end and i was relieved in the family there was an aunt who was not fond of me i doubt if any of the family liked me much but i never wanted them to like me being altogether bound up in the one girl the aunt was a young woman and she had a serious way with her eyes of watching me she was an audacious woman and openly looked at me after one of the nights that i have spoken of i came down into a before breakfast the name of my false young friend had gone down before me and i heard this aunt speaking to her about me as i entered i stopped where i was among the leaves and listened | 8 |
little the aunt said miss is wearing you to death and this must not continue i repeat the very words i heard now what did she answer did she say it is i who am wearing her to death i who am keeping her on a rack and am the yet she tells me every night that she loves me though she knows what i make her undergo no my first memorable experience was true to what i knew her to be and to all my experience she began sobbing and weeping to secure the aunt s sympathy to herself and said dear aunt she has an unhappy temper other girls at school besides i try hard to make it better we all try hard upon that the aunt her as if she had said something noble instead of and false and kept up the infamous pretence by replying but there are reasonable limits my dear love to everything and i see that this poor miserable girl causes you more constant and useless distress than even so good an effort the poor miserable girl came out of her concealment as you may be prepared to hear and said send me home i never said another word to either of them or to any of them but send me home or i will walk home alone night and day when i got home i told my supposed grandmother that unless i was sent away to finish my education somewhere else before that girl came back or before any one of them came back i would burn my sight away by throwing myself into the fire rather than i would endure to look at their faces i went among young women next and i found them no better pair words and fair but i penetrated below those of themselves and of me and they were no better before i left them i learned that i had no grandmother and no recognised relation i carried the light of that information both into my past and into my future it showed me many new occasions on which people over me when they made a pretence of treating me with consideration or doing me a service a man of business had a small property in trust for me i was to be a i became a and went into the family of a poor nobleman where there were two daughters little children but the parents wished them to grow up if possible under one the mother was young and pretty from the first she made a show of to me with great delicacy i kept my resentment to myself but i knew very well that it was her way of the knowledge that she was my mistress and might have behaved differently to her servant if it had been her fancy i say i did not resent it nor did i but i showed her by not gratifying her that i understood her when she pressed me to take wine i took water if there happened to be anything choice at table she always sent it to me but i always declined it and ate of the rejected dishes these disappointments of her patronage were a sharp retort and made me feel independent i liked the children they were timid but on the whole disposed to attach themselves to me there was a nurse however in the house a rosy faced woman always making an pretence of being gay and good who had nursed them both little and who had secured their affections before i saw them i could almost have settled down to my fate but for this woman her artful devices for keeping herself before the children in constant competition with me might have blinded many in my place but i saw through them from the first on the pretext of arranging my rooms and waiting on me and taking care of my wardrobe all of which she did busily she was never absent the most of her many was her of seeking to make the children of me she would lead them to me and them to me come to good miss come to dear miss come to pretty miss she loves you very much miss is a clever lady who has read heaps of books and can tell you far better and more interesting stories than i know come and hear miss how could i engage their attention when my heart was burning against these ignorant designs how could i wonder when i saw their innocent faces shrinking away and their arms round her neck instead of mine then she would look up at me shaking their curls from her face and say they ll come round soon miss they re very simple and loving ma am don t be at all cast down about it ma am over me there was another thing the woman did at times when she saw that she had safely plunged me into a black brooding by these means she would call the attention of the children to it and would show them the difference between herself and me hush poor miss is not well don t make a noise my her head come and comfort her come and ask her if she is better come and ask her to lie down i hope you have nothing on your mind ma am don t take on ma am and be sorry it became intolerable her my mistress coming in one day when i was alone and at the height of feeling that i could support it no longer i told her i must go i could not bear the presence of that woman miss poor is devoted to you would do anything for you i knew beforehand she would say so i was quite prepared for it i only answered it was not for me to contradict my mistress i must go i | 8 |
hope miss she returned instantly assuming the tone of superiority she had always so concealed that nothing i have ever said or done since we have been together has justified your use of that disagreeable word mistress it must have been wholly on my part pray tell me what it is i replied that i had no complaint to make either of my mistress or to my mistress but i mast go she hesitated a moment and then sat down beside me and laid her hand on mine as if that honor would any remembrance miss i fear you are unhappy through causes over which i have no influence i smiled thinking of the experience the word awakened and said i have an unhappy temper i suppose i did not say that little it is an easy way of for anything said i it may be but i did not say so what i wish to approach is something very different my husband and i have exchanged some remarks upon the subject when we have observed with pain that you have not been easy with us easy oh you are such great people my lady said i i am unfortunate in using a word which may convey a meaning and evidently does quite opposite to my intention she had not expected my reply and it her i only mean not happy with us it is a difficult topic to enter on but from one young woman to another perhaps in short we have been apprehensive that you may allow some family circumstances of which no one can be more innocent than yourself to prey upon your spirits if so let us entreat you not to make them a cause of grief my husband himself as is well known formerly had a very dear sister who was not in law his sister but who was universally beloved and respected f i saw directly that they had taken me in for the sake of the dead woman whoever she was and to have that boast of me and advantage of me i saw in the nurse s knowledge of it an encouragement to me as she had done and i saw in the children s shrinking away a vague impression that i was not like other people i left that house that night after one or two short and very similar experiences which are not to the present purpose i entered another family where i had but one pupil a girl of fifteen who was the only daughter the parents here were elderly people people of station and rich a nephew whom they had brought up was a frequent visitor at the house among many other visitors and he began to pay me attention i was resolute in him for i had determined when i went there that no one should pity me or condescend to me but he wrote me a letter it led to our being engaged to be married he was a year younger than i and young looking even when that allowance was made he was on absence from india where he had a post that was soon to grow into a very good one in six months we were to be married and were to go to india i was to stay in the house and was to be married from the house nobody objected to any part of the plan i cannot avoid saying he admired me but if i could i would vanity has nothing to do with the declaration for his admiration worried me he took no pains to hide it and caused me to feel among the rich people as if he had bought me for my looks and made a show of his purchase to justify himself they me in their own minds i saw and were curious to ascertain what my full value was i resolved that they should not know i was immovable and silent before them and would have suffered any one of them to kill me sooner than i would have laid myself out to their approval he told me i did not do myself justice i told him i did and it was because i did and meant to do so to the last that i would not stoop to any of them he was concerned and even shocked when i added that i wished he would not parade his attachment before little them but lie said lie would sacrifice even tlie honest impulses of his affection to my peace under that pretence he began to retort upon me by the hour together he would keep at a distance from me talking to any one rather than to me i have sat alone and unnoticed half an evening while he conversed with his young cousin my pupil i have seen all the while in people s eyes that they thought the two looked nearer on an equality than he and i i have sat their thoughts until i have felt that his young appearance made me ridiculous and have raged against myself for ever loving him for i did love him once as he was and little as he thought of all these agonies that it cost me agonies which should have made him wholly and gratefully mine to his life s end i loved him i bore with his cousin s him to my face and with her pretending to think that it pleased me but full well knowing that it in my breast for his sake while i have sat in his presence recalling all my and wrongs and whether i should not fly from the house at once and never see him again i have loved him his aunt my mistress you will please to remember deliberately added to my trials and it was her delight to on the style in which we were to live in india and | 8 |
on the establishment we should keep and the company we should entertain when he got his advancement my pride rose against this way of pointing out the contrast my married life was to present to my then dependent and inferior position i suppressed my indignation but i showed her that her intention was not lost upon me and i repaid her by affecting humility what she described would surely be a great deal too much honor for me i would tell her i was afraid i might not be able to support so great a change think of a mere her daughter s coming to that high distinction it made her uneasy and made them all uneasy when i answered in this way they knew that i fully understood her it was at the time when my troubles were at their highest and when i was most against my lover for his ingratitude in caring as little as he did for the innumerable and i on his account that your dear friend mr go wan appeared at the house he had been intimate there for a long time but had been abroad he understood the state of things at a glance and he understood me he was the first person i had ever seen in my life who had understood me he was not in the house three times before i knew that he accompanied every movement of my mind in his coldly easy way with all of them and with me and with the whole subject i saw it clearly in his light of admiration of my future husband in his enthusiasm regarding our engagement and our prospects in his hopeful congratulations on our future wealth and his to his own poverty all equally hollow and and full of mockery i saw it clearly he made me feel more and more and more and more contemptible by always presenting to me everything that surrounded me with some new hateful light upon it while he pretended to exhibit it in its best aspect for my admiration little and his own he was like the dressed up death in the dutch series whatever figure he took upon his arm whether it was youth or age beauty or whether he danced with it sang with it played with it or prayed with it he made it ghastly you will understand then that when your dear friend me he really with me that when he soothed me under my he laid bare every wound i had that when he declared my faithful to be the most loving young fellow in the world with the tenderest heart that ever beat he touched my old that i was made ridiculous these were not great services you may say they were acceptable to me because they echoed my own mind and confirmed my own knowledge i soon began to like the society of your dear friend better than any other when i perceived which i did almost as soon that jealousy was growing out of this i liked this society still better had i not been subjected to jealousy and were the to be all mine let him know what it was i was delighted that he should know it i was delighted that he should feel keenly and i hoped he did more than that he was tame in comparison with mr who knew how to address me on equal terms and how to the wretched people around us this went on until the aunt my mistress took it upon herself to speak to me it was scarcely worth alluding to she knew i meant nothing but she suggested from herself knowing it was only necessary to suggest that it might be better if i were a little less with mr i asked her how she could answer for what i meant she could always answer she replied for my meaning nothing wrong i thanked her but said i would prefer to answer for myself and to myself her other servants would probably be grateful for good characters but i wanted none other conversation followed and induced me to ask her how she knew that it was only necessary for her to make a suggestion to me to have it obeyed did she presume on my birth or on my hire i was not bought body and soul she seemed to think that her distinguished nephew had gone into a slave market and purchased a wife it would probably have come sooner or later to the end to which it did come but she brought it to its issue at once she told me with assumed that i had an unhappy temper on this repetition of the old wicked injury i withheld no longer but exposed to her all i had known of her and seen in her and all i had undergone within myself since i had occupied the position of being engaged to her nephew i told her that mr was the only relief i had had in my degradation that i had borne it too long and that i shook it off too late but that i would see none of them more and i never did your dear friend followed me to my retreat and was very droll on the of the though he was sorry too for the excellent people in their way the best he had ever met and the necessity of breaking mere house flies on the wheel he protested before long and far more truly than i then supposed that he little was not worth acceptance by a woman of such and such power of character but well well your dear friend amused me and amused himself as long as it suited his inclinations and then reminded me that we were both people of the world that we both understood mankind that we both knew there was no such thing as romance that we | 8 |
were both prepared for going ways to seek our fortunes like people of sense and that we both foresaw that whenever we encountered one another again we should meet as the best friends on earth so he said and i did not contradict him it was not very long before i found that he was his present wife and that she had been taken away to be out of his reach i hated her then quite as much as i hate her now and naturally therefore could desire nothing better than that should marry him but i was curious to look at her so curious that i felt it to be one of the few sources of entertainment left to me i travelled a little travelled until i found myself in her society and in yours your dear friend i think was not known to you then and had not given you any of those signal marks of his friendship which he has bestowed upon you in that company i found a girl in various circumstances of whose position there was a singular likeness to my own and in whose character i was interested and pleased to see much of the rising against swollen patronage and selfishness calling themselves kindness protection benevolence and other fine names which i have described as inherent in my nature i often heard it said too that she had an unhappy temper well understanding what was meant by the convenient phrase and wanting a companion with a knowledge of what i knew i thought i would try to release the girl from her bondage and sense of injustice i have no occasion to relate that i succeeded we have been together ever since sharing my small means chapter xxii who passes by this so late had made his expedition to in the midst of a great pressure of business a certain power with valuable possessions on the map of the world had occasion for the services of one or two quick in invention and determined in execution practical men who could make the men and means their ingenuity perceived to be wanted out of the best materials they could find at hand and who were as bold and fertile in the of such materials to their purpose as in the conception their purpose itself this power being a one had no idea of away a great national object in a office as little strong wine is hidden from the light in a cellar until its fire and youth are gone and the who worked in the and pressed the grapes are dust with characteristic ignorance it acted on the most decided and energetic notions of how to do it and never showed the least respect for or gave any quarter to the great political science how not to do it indeed it had a barbarous way of striking the latter art and mystery dead in the person of any enlightened subject who practised it accordingly the men who were wanted were sought out and found which was in itself a most and irregular way of proceeding being found they were treated with great confidence and honor which again showed dense political ignorance and were invited to come at once and do what they had to do in short they were regarded as men who meant to do it engaging with other men who meant it to be done daniel ce was one of the chosen there was no at that time whether he would be absent months or years the preparations for his departure and the conscientious arrangement for him of all the details and results of their joint business had labor within a short compass of time which had occupied day and night he had slipped across the water in his first leisure and had slipped as quickly back again for his farewell interview with him arthur now showed with pains and care the state of their gains and losses and prospects daniel went through it all in his patient manner and admired it all exceedingly he the accounts as if they were a far more ingenious piece of than he had ever constructed and afterwards stood looking at them weighing his hat over his head by the as if he were absorbed in the contemplation of some wonderful engine it s all beautiful in its regularity and order nothing can be nothing can be better i am glad you approve now as to the management of our capital while you are away and as to the of so much of it as the business may need from time to time his partner stopped him as to that and as to everything else of that kind all rests with you you will continue in all such matters to act for both of us as you have done hitherto and to my mind of a load it is much relieved from though as i often tell you returned you your business qualities perhaps so said smiling and perhaps not anyhow i have a calling that i have studied more than such matters and that i am better fitted for i have perfect confidence in my partner and i am satisfied that he will do what is best if i have a prejudice connected with money and money figures continued laying that workman s thumb of his on the his partner s coat it is against i don t think i have any other i dare say i entertain that prejudice only because i have never given my mind fully to the subject but you shouldn t call it a prejudice said m my dear it is the sense little lam glad j ou think so returned with his grey eye looking kind and bright it so happens said that just now not half an hour before you came down i was saying the same thing to who looked in here we both agreed that | 8 |
to travel out of safe is one of the most dangerous as it is one of the most common of those follies which often deserve the name of vices said up his hat at the back and nodding with an air of confidence aye aye aye that s a cautious fellow he is a very cautious fellow indeed returned arthur quite a specimen of caution they both appeared to derive a larger amount of satisfaction from the cautious character of mr than was quite intelligible judged by the surface of their conversation and now said daniel looking at his watch as time and tide wait for no one my partner and as i am ready for starting bag and baggage at the gate below let me say a last word i want you to grant a request of mine any request you can make except was quick with his exception for his partner s face was quick in suggesting it except that i will abandon your invention that s the request and you know it is said i say no then i say positively no now that i have begun i will have some definite reason some responsible statement something in the nature of a real answer from those people you will not returned shaking his head take my word for it you never will at least i ll try said it do me no harm to try i am not certain of that rejoined laying his hand on his shoulder it has done me harm my friend it has aged me tired me vexed me disappointed me it does no man any good to have his patience worn out and to think himself ill used i fancy even already that attendance on and has made you something less elastic than you used to be private anxieties may have done that for the moment said but not official not yet i am not hurt yet then you won t grant my request decidedly no said i should be ashamed if i submitted to be so soon driven out of the field where a much older and a much more interested man with fortitude so long as there was no moving him daniel returned the grasp of his hand and casting a farewell look round the counting house went down stairs with him was to go to to join the small staff of his fellow travellers and a coach was at the gate well furnished and packed and ready to take him there the workmen were at the gate to see him off and were proud of him good luck to you mr said one of the number wherever you go they ll find as they ve got a man among em a man as knows his tools and as his tools knows a man as is willing and a man as little is able and if that s not a man where is a man this from a in the back ground not previously suspected of any powers in that way was received with three loud cheers and the speaker became a distinguished character for ever afterwards in the midst of the three loud cheers daniel gave them all a hearty good bye men and the coach disappeared from sight as if the of the air had blown it out of bleeding heart yard mr as a grateful little fellow in a position of trust was among the workmen and had done as much towards the cheering as a mere foreigner could in truth no men on earth can cheer like englishmen who do so rally one another s blood and spirit when they cheer in earnest that the stir is like the rush of their whole history with all its standards waving at once from saxon alfred s downward mr had been in a manner whirled away before the and was taking his breath in quite a scared condition when beckoned him to follow up stairs and return the books and papers to their places in the lull consequent on the departure in that first which on every separation the great separation that is always overhanging all mankind arthur stood at his desk looking out at a gleam of sun but his attention soon to the theme that was foremost in his thoughts and began for the time to dwell upon every circumstance that had impressed itself upon his mind on the mysterious night when he had seen the man at his mother s again the man him in the crooked street again he followed the man and lost him again he came upon the man in the looking at the house again he followed the man and stood beside him on the door steps who passes by road so late de la who passes by this road so late always gay it was not the first time by many that he had recalled the song of the child s game of which the fellow had this verse while they stood side by side but he was so unconscious of having repeated it audibly that he started to hear the next verse of all the king s knights tis the flower de la of all the king s knights tis the flower always gay had suggested the words and tune j supposing him to have stopped short for want of more ah you know the song by yes sir they all know it in france i have heard it many times sung by the little children the last time when it i have heard said mr formerly who usually went back to his native construction of sentences when his memory went near little home is from a sweet little voice a little voice very pretty very innocent the last time i heard it returned arthur was in a voice quite the reverse of pretty and quite the reverse of innocent he said it more to himself | 8 |
than to his companion and added to himself repeating the man s next words death of my life sir it s my character to be impatient eh cried astounded and with all his color gone in a moment what is the matter sir you know where i have heard that song the last time with his rapid native action his hands made the outline of a high hook nose pushed his eyes near together his hair puffed out his upper lip to represent a thick moustache and threw the heavy end of an ideal cloak over his shoulder while doing this with a swiftness incredible to one who has not watched an italian peasant he indicated a very remarkable and sinister smile the whole change passed over him like a flash of light and he stood in the same instant pale and astonished before his patron in the name of fate and wonder said what do you mean do you know a man of the name of no said mr shaking his head you have just now described a man who was by when you heard that song have you not yes said mr nodding fifty times and was he not called no said mr he could not reject the name sufficiently with his head and his right forefinger going at once stay cried spreading out the hand bill on his desk was this the man you can understand what i read aloud altogether perfectly but look at it too come here and look over me while i read mr approached followed every word with his quick eyes saw and heard it all out with the greatest impatience then clapped his two hands flat upon the bill as if he had fiercely caught some creature and cried looking eagerly at it is the man behold him this is of far greater moment to me said in great agitation than you can imagine tell me where you knew the man mr the paper very slowly and with much discomfiture and drawing himself back two or three paces and making as though he his hands returned very much against his will at what was he a prisoner and i believe yes an mr crept closer again to whisper it fell back as if the word had struck him a blow so terrible did it make his mother s communication with the man appear dropped on one knee and implored him with a little of to hear what had brought himself into such foul company he told with perfect truth how it had come of a little trading and how he had in time been released from prison and how he had gone away from those how at the house of entertainment called the break of day at on the he had been awakened in his bed at night by the same then assuming the name of though his name had formerly been how the had proposed that they should join their fortunes together how he held the in such dread and aversion that he had fled from him at daylight and how he had ever since been haunted by the fear of seeing the again and being claimed by him as an acquaintance when he had related this with an emphasis and on the word peculiarly belonging to his own language and which did not serve to render it less terrible to he suddenly sprang to his feet upon the bill again and with a vehemence that would have been absolute madness in any man of northern origin cried behold the same here he is in his passionate he at first forgot the fact that he had lately seen the in london on his remembering it it suggested hope to that the recognition might be of later date than the night of the visit at his mother s but was too exact and clear about time and place to leave any opening for doubt that it had preceded that occasion listen said arthur very seriously this man as we have read here has wholly disappeared of it i am well content said raising his eyes a thousand thanks to heaven accursed not so returned for until something more is heard of him i can never know an hours peace enough benefactor that is quite another thing a million of excuses now said gently turning him by the arm so that they looked into each other s eyes i am certain that for the little i have been able to do for you you are the most sincerely grateful of men i swear it cried the other i know it if you could find this man or discover what has become of him or gain any later intelligence whatever of him you would render me a service above any other service i could receive in the world and would make me with far greater reason as grateful to you as you are to me i know not where to look cried the little man kissing arthur s hand in a transport i know not where to begin i know not where to go but courage enough it matters not i go in this instant of time not a word to any one but me al cried and was gone with great speed little trod d m r mistress makes a promise respecting her dreams left alone with the expressive looks and gestures ot otherwise vividly before him entered on a weary day it was in vain that he tried to control his attention hy directing it to any business occupation or train of thought it rode at anchor by the haunting topic and would hold to no other idea as though a criminal should be chained in a stationary boat on a deep clear river condemned whatever countless of water flowed past him always to see the body of the fellow creature he had drowned lying at the | 8 |
round when he had made this remark and went into the dark hall stood there following him with his eyes as he dipped for a light in the box in the little room at the side got one after three or four and lighted the dim lamp against the wall all the while was pursuing the rather as if they were being shown to him by an invisible hand than as if he himself were them up of mr s ways and means of doing that darker deed and removing its traces by any of the black avenues of shadow that lay around them now sir said the will it be agreeable to walk up stairs my mother is alone i suppose not alone said mr mr and his daughter are with her they came in while i was smoking and i stayed behind to have my smoke out this was the second disappointment arthur made no remark upon it and repaired to his mother s room where mr and had been taking tea and hot toast the relics of those were not yet removed either from the table or from the countenance of who with the kitchen fork still in her hand looked like a sort of personage except that she had a considerable advantage over the general run of such personages in point of significant purpose had spread her bonnet and shawl upon the bed with a care of an intention to stay some time mr too was beaming near the with his benevolent shining as if the warm butter of the toast were through the skull and with his face as ruddy as if the matter of the were in the seeing this as he exchanged the usual decided to speak to his mother without it had long been customary as she never changed her room for those who had anything to say to her apart to wheel her to her desk where she sat usually with the back of her chair turned towards the rest of the room and the person who talked with her seated in a corner on a stool which was always set in that place for l l little that purpose except that it was long since the mother and son had spoken together without the of a third person it was an ordinary matter of course within the experience of visitors for mrs to be asked with a word of apology for the interruption if she could be spoken with on a matter of business and on her replying in the affirmative to be wheeled into the position described therefore when arthur now made such an apology and such a request and moved her to her desk and seated himself on the stool mrs merely began to talk louder and faster as a delicate hint that she could nothing and mr his long white locks with sleepy calmness mother i have heard something to day which i feel persuaded you don t know and which i think you should know of the of that man i saw here i know nothing of the of the man you saw here arthur she spoke aloud he had lowered his own voice but she rejected that advance towards confidence as she rejected every other and spoke in her usual key and in her usual stern voice i have received it on no information it has come to me direct she asked him exactly as before if he were there to tell her what it was i thought it right that you should know it and what is it he has been a prisoner in a french jail she answered with composure i should think that very likely but in a jail for mother on an accusation of murder she started at the word and her looks expressed her natural horror yet she still spoke aloud when she demanded who told you so a man who was his fellow prisoner that man s i suppose were not known to you before he told you no though the man himself was yes my case and s in respect of this other man i dare say the resemblance is not so exact though as that your became known to you through a letter from a correspondent with whom he had deposited money how does that part of the parallel stand arthur had no choice but to say that his had not become known to him through the agency of any such or indeed of any at all mrs s attentive frown expanded by degrees into a severe look of triumph and she retorted with emphasis take care how you judge others then i say to you arthur for your good take care how you judge her emphasis had been derived from her eyes quite as much as little from the stress she laid upon her words she continued to look at him and if when he entered the house he had had any latent hope of prevailing in the least with her she now looked it out of his heart mother shall i do nothing to assist you nothing will you me with no confidence no charge no explanation will you take no counsel with me will you not let me come near you how can you ask me you separated yourself from my affairs it was not my act it was yours how can you ask me such a question you know that you left me to and that he your place glancing at saw in his very that his attention was closely directed to them though he stood leaning against the wall his jaw and pretending to listen to as she held forth in a most manner on a chaos of subjects in which and mr f s aunt in a swing had become entangled with and the wine trade a prisoner in a french jail on an accusation of murder repeated mrs | 8 |
steadily going over what her son had said that is all you know of him from the fellow prisoner in substance all and was the fellow prisoner his and a murderer too but of course he gives a better account of himself than of his friend it is needless to ask this will supply the rest of them here with something new to talk about arthur tells me stay mother stay stay he interrupted her hastily for it had not entered his imagination that she would openly proclaim what he had told her what now she said with displeasure what more i beg you to excuse me mr and you too mrs for one other moment with my mother he had laid his hand upon her chair or she would otherwise have wheeled it round with the touch of her foot upon the ground they were still face to face she looked at him as he ran over the possibilities of some result he had not intended and could not foresee being influenced by s disclosure becoming a matter of and hurriedly arrived at the conclusion that it had best not be talked about though perhaps he was guided by no more distinct reason than that he had taken it for granted that his mother would reserve it to herself and her partner what now she said again impatiently what is it i did not mean mother that you should repeat what i have communicated i think you had better not repeat it do you make that a condition with me well yes observe then it is you who make this a secret said she holding up her hand and not i it is you arthur who bring here doubts and suspicions and entreaties for explanations and it is you arthur who bring secrets here what is it to me do you think little where the man has been or what he has been what can it be to me the whole world may know it if they care to know it it is nothing to me now let me go he yielded to her imperious but elated look and turned her chair back to the place from which he had wheeled it in doing so he saw in the face of mr which most assuredly was not inspired by this turning of his intelligence and of his whole attempt and design against himself did even more than his mother s and firmness to convince him that his efforts with her were idle nothing remained but the appeal to his old friend but even to get to the very doubtful and preliminary stage of making the appeal seemed one of the least promising of human she was so completely under the of the two clever ones was so kept in sight by one or other of them and was so afraid to go about the house besides that every opportunity of speaking to her alone appeared to be over and above that mistress by some means it was not very difficult to guess through the sharp arguments of her lord had acquired such a lively conviction of the hazard of saying anything under any circumstances that she had remained all this time in a corner guarding herself from approach with that instrument of hers so that when a word or two had been addressed to her by or even by the bottle green himself she had off conversation with the fork like a dumb woman after several attempts to get to look at him while she cleared the table and washed the tea service arthur thought of an expedient which might to whom he therefore whispered could you say you would like to go through the house now poor being always in expectation of the time when would renew his boyhood and be madly in love with her again received the whisper with the utmost delight not only as rendered precious by its mysterious character but as preparing the way for a tender interview in which he would declare the state of his affections she immediately began to work out the hint ah dear me the poor old room said glancing round u looks just as ever mrs i am touched to see except for being which was to be expected with time and which we must all expect and reconcile ourselves to being whether we like it or not as i am sure i have had to do myself if not exactly dreadfully which is the same or worse to think of the days when papa used to bring me here the least of girls a perfect mass of to be stuck upon a chair with my feet on the rails and stare at arthur pray excuse me mr the least of boys in the of and ere yet mr f appeared a misty shadow on the horizon paying attentions like the well known of some place in germany beginning with a b is a moral lesson that all the paths in life are similar to the paths down in the north of england where they get the coals and make the iron and things with ashes is s y tj little having paid the tribute of a sigh to the of human existence hurried on with her purpose not that at any time she proceeded its worst enemy could have said it was a cheerful house for that it was never made to be but always highly impressive fond memory an occasion in youth ere yet the judgment was mature when arthur confirmed habit mr took me down into an unused kitchen eminent for and proposed to me there for life and feed me on what he could hide from his meals when he was not at home for the holidays and on dry bread in disgrace which at that period too frequently occurred would it be inconvenient or asking | 8 |
old sweetheart being in fact so near at hand that she was then against him in a flutter a very substantial angle of forty five degrees here interposed to assure mistress with greater earnestness than of that whatever she heard should go no further but should be kept if on no other account on arthur s sensible of in being too familiar and s i make an imploring appeal to you to you one of the few agreeable early i have for my mother s sake for your husband s sake for my own for all our i am sure you can tell me something connected with the coming here of this man if you will why then i ll tell you arthur returned s a coming no indeed he is not the door is open and he is standing outside talking i ll tell you then said after listening that the first time he ever come he heard the noises his own self what s that he said to me i don t know what it is i says to him catching hold of him but i have heard it over and over again while i says it he stands a looking at me all of a shake he do has he been here often only that night and the last night what did you see of him on the last night after i was gone them two clever ones had him all alone to themselves come a dancing at me sideways after i had let you out he always comes a dancing at me sideways when he s going to hurt me and he said to me now he said i am a coming behind you my woman and a going to run you up o he took and squeezed the back of my neck in his hand till it made me open my mouth and then he pushed me before him to bed all the way that s what he calls running me up he do oh he s a wicked one and did you hear or see no more don t i tell you i was sent to bed arthur here he is i assure you he is still at the door those and that you have spoken of what are they how should i know don t ask me nothing about em arthur get away little but my dear unless i can gain some insight into these hidden things in spite of your husband and in spite of my mother ruin will come of it don t ask me nothing repeated i have been in a dream for ever so long go away go away you said that before returned arthur you used the same expression that night at the door when i asked you what was going on here what do you mean by being in a dream i an t a going to tell you get away i shouldn t tell you if you was by yourself much less with your old sweetheart here it was equally vain for arthur to entreat and for to protest who had been trembling and struggling the whole time turned a deaf ear to au and was bent on forcing herself out of the closet i d sooner scream to than say another word i ll call out to him arthur if you don t give over speaking to me here s the very last word i ll say afore i call to him if ever you begin to get the better of them two clever ones your own self you ought to it as i told you when you first come home for you haven t been a living here long years to be made of your life as i have then do you get the better of em afore my face and then do bay to me tell your dreams maybe then i ll teu em the shutting of the door stopped arthur from replying they glided into the places where had left them and stepping forward as that old gentleman returned informed him that he had accidentally extinguished the candle mr looked on as he re lighted it at the lamp in the hall and preserved a profound respecting the person who had been holding him in conversation perhaps his demanded compensation for some that the visitor had expended on him however that was he took such at seeing his wife with her apron over her head that he charged at her and taking her veiled nose between his thumb and finger appeared to throw the whole of his person into the he gave it now permanently heavy did not release arthur from the survey of the house until it had extended even to his old garret his thoughts were otherwise occupied than with the tour of inspection yet he took particular notice at the time as he afterwards had occasion to remember of the and of the house that they left the track of their footsteps in the dust on the upper floors and that there was a resistance to the opening of one room door which occasioned to cry out that somebody was hiding inside and to continue to believe so though somebody was sought and not discovered when they at last returned to his mother s room they found her her face with her muffled hand and talking in a low voice to the as he stood before the whose blue eyes polished head and silken locks turning towards them as they came in imparted an value and inexhaustible love of his species to his remark little it so you have been seeing the premises seeing the premises premises seeing the premises it was not in itself a jewel of benevolence or wisdom yet he made it an of both that one would have liked to have a o chapter xxiv the evening of a long day | 8 |
room and he appeared to be a little frightened when she had tossed a few trifles about and had looked down into the darkening street out of all the three windows she returned to her sofa and threw herself among its pillows now come here come a little nearer because i want to be able to touch you with my fan that i may impress you very much with what i am going to say that will do quite close enough oh you do look so big mr for the circumstance pleaded that he couldn t help it and said that our fellows without more particularly indicating whose fellows used to call him by the name of junior or the young man mountain you ought to have told me so before complained my dear returned mr rather gratified i didn t know it would interest you or i would have made a point of telling you there for goodness sake don t talk said i want to talk myself we must not be alone any more i must take such precautions as will prevent my being ever again reduced to the state of dreadful depression in which i am this evening my dear answered mr being as you are well known to be a remarkably fine woman with no oh good gracious cried mr was so by the energy of this exclamation accompanied with a up from the sofa and a down again that a minute or two elapsed before he felt himself equal to saying in explanation i mean my dear that everybody knows you are calculated to shine in society calculated to shine in society retorted with great yes indeed and then what happens i no sooner recover in a visiting point of view the shock of poor dear papa s death and my poor uncle s though i do not disguise from myself that the last was a happy release for if you are not you had much better die you are not referring to me my love i hope mr humbly interrupted you would wear out a saint am i not expressly speaking of my poor uncle you looked with so much expression at myself my dear girl said mr that i felt a little uncomfortable thank you my love i little now you have put me out observed with a resigned toss of her fan and i had better go to bed don t do that my love urged mr take time took a good deal of time lying back with her eyes shut and her eyebrows raised with a hopeless expression as if she had utterly given up all affairs at length without the slightest notice she opened her eyes again and in a short sharp manner what happens then i ask what happens why i find myself at the very period when i might shine most in society and should most like for very momentous reasons to shine in society i find myself in a situation which to a certain extent me for going into society it s too bad really my dear said mr i don t think it need keep you at home you ridiculous creature returned with great indignation do you suppose that a woman in the bloom of youth and not wholly devoid of personal attractions can put herself at such a time in competition as to figure with a woman in every other way her inferior if you do suppose such a thing your folly is boundless mr submitted that he had thought it might be got over got over repeated with scorn for a time mr submitted the last feeble suggestion with no notice mrs declared with bitterness that it really was too bad and that positively it was enough to make one wish one was dead however she said when she had in some measure recovered from her sense of personal ill usage provoking as it is and cruel as it seems i suppose it must be submitted to especially as it was to be expected said mr returned his wife if you have nothing more becoming to do than to attempt to insult the woman who has honored you with her hand when she finds herself in i think you had better go to bed mr was much afflicted by the charge and offered a most tender and earnest apology his apology was accepted but mrs requested him to go round to the other side of the sofa and sit in the window curtain to tone himself down now she said stretching out her fan and touching him with it at arm s length what i was going to say to you when you began as usual to prose and worry is that i shall guard against our being alone any more and that when circumstances prevent my going out to my own satisfaction i must arrange to have some people or other always here for i really cannot and will not have another such day as this has been mr s sentiments as to the plan were in brief that it had no nonsense about it he added and besides you know it s likely that you ll soon have your sister dearest yes cried mrs with a sigh of affection darling little thing not however that would do here alone little mr was going to say but he saw his danger and said it no oh dear no she wouldn t do here alone for not only are the virtues of the precious child of that still character that they require a contrast require life and movement around them to bring them out in their right colors and make one love them of all things but she will require to be roused on more accounts than one that s it said mr pray don t your habit of interrupting without having the least thing in the world to say one | 8 |
you must be broken of it speaking of my poor little pet was attached to poor papa and no doubt will have lamented his loss exceedingly and grieved very much i have done so myself i have felt it dreadfully but will no doubt have felt it even more from having been on the spot the whole time and having been with poor dear papa at the last which i unhappily was not here stopped to weep and to say dear dear beloved papa how truly gentlemanly he was what a contrast to poor uncle from the effects of that trying time she pursued my good little mouse will have to be roused also from the effects of this long attendance upon edward in his illness an attendance which is not yet over which may even go on for some time longer and which in the meanwhile us all by keeping poor dear papa s affairs from being wound up fortunately however the papers with his agents here being all sealed up and locked up as he left them when he came to england the affairs are in that state of order that they can wait until my brother edward his health in sufficiently to come over and administer or execute or whatever it may be that will have to be done he couldn t have a better nurse to bring him round mr made bold to for a wonder i can agree with you returned his wife languidly turning her eyelids a little in his direction she held forth in general as if to the drawing room furniture and can adopt your words he couldn t have a better nurse to bring him round there are times when my dear child is a little wearing to an active mind but as a nurse she is perfection best of mr growing rash on his late success observed that edward had had a long bout of it my dear girl if bout returned mrs is the term for he has if it is not i am unable to give an opinion on the barbarous language you address to edward s sister that he contracted fever somewhere either by travelling day and night to borne where after all he arrived too late to see poor dear papa before his death or under some other circumstances is if that is what you mean likewise that his extremely careless life has made him a very bad subject for it indeed mr considered it a parallel case to that of some of our fellows in the west indies with yellow jack mrs closed little her eyes again and refused to have any consciousness of our fellows of the west indies or of yellow jack so she pursued when she re opened her eyelids will require to be roused from the effects of many tedious and anxious weeks and lastly she will require to he roused from a low tendency which i know very well to be at the bottom of her heart don t ask me what it is because i must decline to tell you lam not going to my dear said mr i shall thus have much improvement to effect in my sweet child mrs continued and cannot have her near me too soon amiable and dear little as to the settlement of poor papa s affairs my interest in that is not very selfish papa behaved very generously to me when i was married and i have little or nothing to expect provided he has made no will that can come into force leaving a to mrs general i am contented dear papa dear papa she wept again but mrs general was the best of the name soon stimulated her to dry her eyes and say it is a highly encouraging circumstance in edward s illness i am thankful to think and gives one the greatest confidence in his sense not being or his proper spirit weakened down to the time of poor dear papa s death at all events that he paid off mrs general instantly and sent her out of the house i him for it i could forgive him a great deal for doing with such so exactly what i would have done myself mrs was in the full glow of her gratification when a double knock was heard at the door a very odd knock low as if to avoid making a noise and attention long as if the person knocking were pre occupied in mind and forgot to leave off said mr who s this not and edward without notice and without a carriage said mrs look out the room was dark but the street was lighter because of its lamps mr s head peeping over the balcony looked so very and heavy that it seemed on the point of him and the unknown below it s one fellow said mr t stop though on this second thought he went out into the balcony again and had another look he came back as the door was opened and announced that he believed he had identified his governor s tile he was not mistaken for his governor with his tile in his hand was introduced immediately afterwards candles said mrs with a word of excuse for the darkness it s light enough for me said mr when the candles were brought in mr was discovered standing behind the door picking his lips i thought i d give you h call he said i am rather particularly occupied just now and as i happened to be out for a stroll i thought i d give you a call as he was in dinner dress asked him where he had been dining little well said mr i haven t been dining anywhere particularly of course you have dined said why no i haven t exactly dined said mr he had passed his | 8 |
hand over his yellow forehead and considered as if he were not sure about it something to eat was proposed no thank you said mr i don t feel inclined for it i was to have dined out along with mrs but as i didn t feel inclined for dinner i let mrs go by herself just as we were getting into the carriage and thought i d take a stroll instead would he have tea or coffee no thank you said mr i looked in at the club and got a bottle of wine at this period of his visit mr took the chair which had offered him and which he had hitherto been pushing slowly about before him like a dull man with a pair of on for the first time who could not make up his mind to start he now put his hat upon another chair beside him and looking down into it as if it were some twenty feet deep said again you see i thought i d give you a call to us said for you are not a calling man n no returned mr who was by this time taking himself into under both coat sleeves no i am not a calling man you have too much to do for that said having so much to do mr loss of appetite is a serious thing with you and you must have it seen to you must not be ill oh i am very well replied mr after about it i am as well as i usually am i am well enough i am as well as i want to be the master mind of the age true to its characteristic of being at all times a mind that had as little as possible to say for itself and great difficulty in saying it became mute again mrs began to wonder how long the master mind meant to stay i was speaking of poor papa when you came in sir aye quite a coincidence said mr did not see that but felt it incumbent on her to continue talking i was saying she pursued that my brother s illness has occasioned a delay in examining and arranging papa s property yes said mr yes there has been a delay not that it is of consequence said not assented mr after having examined the of all that part of the room which was within his range not that it is of any consequence my only anxiety is said that mrs general should not get anything she won t get anything said mr was delighted to hear him express the opinion mr after taking another gaze into the depths of his hat as if he thought he saw something at the bottom rubbed his hair and slowly to his last remark the words oh dear no no not she not likely little as the topic seemed exhausted and mr too if he were going to take up mrs and the carriage in his way home no he answered i shall go by the shortest way and leave mrs to here he looked all over the palms of both his hands as if he were telling his own fortune to take care of herself i dare say she ll manage to do it probably said there was then a long silence during which mrs lying back on her sofa again shut her eyes and raised her eyebrows in her former retirement from affairs but however said mr i am equally you and myself i thought i d give you a call you know charmed i am sure said so i am off added mr getting up could you lend me a it was an odd thing observed for her who could seldom prevail upon herself even to write a letter to lend to a man of such vast business as mr isn t it mr but i want one and i know you have got several little wedding about with and and such things in them you shall have it back to morrow said mrs open now very carefully i beg and for you are so very awkward the mother of pearl box on my little table there and give mr the mother of pearl thank you said mr but if you have got one with a darker handle i think i should prefer one with a darker handle shell thank you said mr yes i think i should prefer shell accordingly received instructions to open the shell box and give mr the shell knife on his doing so his wife said to the master spirit graciously i will forgive you if you ink it i ll undertake not to ink it said mr the illustrious visitor then put out his coat and for a moment mrs s hand wrist and all where his own hand shrunk to was not made manifest but it was as remote from mrs s sense of touch as if he had been a highly or thoroughly convinced as he went out of the room that it was the longest day that ever did come to an end at last and that there never was a woman not wholly devoid of personal attractions so worn out by and people passed into the balcony for a breath of air waters of vexation filled her eyes and they had the effect of making the famous mr in going down the street appear to leap and and as if he were possessed by several devils ss little chapter xxv the chief butler the of office the dinner party was at the great physician s bar was there and in full force was there and in his most engaging state ways of life were hidden from physician and he was oftener in its darkest places than even bishop there were brilliant ladies about london who perfectly on him my dear as the most | 8 |
charming creature and the most delightful person who would have shocked to find themselves so close to him if they could have known on what sights those thoughtful eyes of his had rested within an hour or two and near to whose beds and under what roofs his composed figure had stood but physician was a composed man who performed neither on his own trumpet nor on the trumpets of other people many wonderful things did he see and hear and much moral contradiction did he pass his life among yet his equality of compassion was no more disturbed than the divine master s of all healing was he went like the rain among the just and unjust doing all the good he could and neither it in the nor at the corners of streets as no man of large experience of humanity however quietly carried it may be can fail to be invested with an interest peculiar to the possession of such knowledge physician was an attractive man even the gentlemen and ladies who had no idea of his secret and who would have been startled out of more wits than they had by the monstrous of his proposing to them come and see what i see confessed his attraction where he was something real was and half a grain of reality like the smallest portion of some other scarce natural productions will flavor an enormous quantity of it came to pass therefore that physician s little dinners always presented people in their least conventional lights the guests said to themselves whether they were conscious of it or no here is a man who really has an acquaintance with us as we are who is admitted to some of us every day with our and paint off who hears the wanderings of our minds and sees the expression of our faces when both are past our control we may as well make an approach to reality with him for the man has got the better of us and is too strong for us therefore physician s guests came out so at his round table that they were almost natural bar s knowledge of that of which is called humanity was as sharp as a yet a is not a generally convenient instrument and physician s plain bright though far less keen was to far wider purposes bar knew all about the and of people but physician could have m m little given him a better insight into their and affections in one week of his rounds than westminster hall and all the put together in years and ten ear always had a suspicion of this and perhaps was glad to encourage it for if the world were really a great law court one would think that the last day of term could not too soon arrive and so he liked and respected physician quite as much as any other kind of man did mr s left a s chair at the table but if he had been there he would have merely made the difference of in it and consequently he was no loss bar who picked up all sorts of odds and ends about westminster hall much as a would have done if he had passed as much of his time there had been picking up a good many lately and tossing them about to try which way the wind blew he now had a little talk on the subject with mrs herself sliding up to that lady of course with his double eye glass and his jury a certain bird said bar and he looked as if it could have been no other bird than a has been whispering among us lawyers lately that there is to be an addition to the personages of this realm said mrs yes said bar has not the bird been whispering in very different ears from ours in lovely ears he looked at mrs s nearest ear ring do you mean mine asked mrs when i say lovely said bar i always mean you you never mean anything i think returned mrs not displeased oh cruelly unjust said bar but the bird i am the last person in the world to hear news observed mrs carelessly arranging her who is it what an admirable witness you would make said bar no jury unless we could one of blind men could resist you if you were ever so bad a one but you would be such a good one why you ridiculous man asked mrs laughing bar waved his double eye glass three or four times between himself and the bosom as a answer and in his most accents what am i to call the most elegant accomplished and charming of women a few weeks or it may be a few days hence didn t your bird tell you what to call her answered mrs do ask it to morrow and tell me the next time you see me what it says this lead to further passages of similar between the two but bar with all his got nothing out of them physician on the other hand taking mrs down to her carriage and attending on her as she put on her cloak into the symptoms with his usual calm may i ask he said is this true about my dear doctor she returned you ask me the very question that i was half disposed to ask you little to ask me why me upon my honor i think mr greater confidence in you than in any one on the contrary he tells me absolutely nothing even you have heard the talk of course of course i have but you know what mr is you know how and reserved he is i assure you i have no idea what foundation for it there may be i should like it to be true why should i deny that to you you | 8 |
would know better if i did just so said physician but whether it is all true or partly true or entirely false i am wholly unable to say it is a most provoking situation a most absurd situation but you know mr and are not surprised physician was not surprised handed her into her carriage and bade her good night he stood for a moment at his own hall door looking at the elegant as it rattled away on his return up stairs the rest of the guests soon dispersed and he was left alone being a great reader of all kinds of literature and never at all for that weakness he sat down comfortably to read the clock upon his study table pointed to a few minutes short of twelve when his attention was called to it by a ringing at the door bell a man of plain habits he had sent his servants to bed and must needs go down to open the door he went down and there found a man without hat or coat whose shirt sleeves were rolled up tight to his shoulders for a moment he thought the man had been fighting the rather as he was much agitated and out of breath a second look however showed him that the man was particularly clean and not otherwise as to his dress than as it answered this description i come from the warm sir round in the neighbouring street and what is the matter at the warm would you please to come directly sir we found that lying on the table he put into the physician s hand a scrap of paper physician looked at it and read his own name and address written in pencil nothing more he looked closer at the writing looked at the man took his hat from its put the key of his door in his pocket and they hurried away together when they came to the warm all the other people belonging to that establishment were looking out for them at the door and running up and down the passages everybody else to keep back if you please said the physician aloud to the master and do you take me straight to the place my friend to the messenger the messenger hurried before him along a grove of little rooms and turning into one at the end of the grove looked round the door physician was close upon him and looked round the door too there was a bath in that corner from which the water had been hastily drained off lying in it as in a grave or with a hurried of sheet and blanket thrown across it was the body of little a heavily made man with an head and coarse mean common features a had been opened to release the steam with which the room had been filled but it hung into heavily upon the walls and heavily upon the face and figure in the bath the room was still hot and the marble of the bath still warm but the face and figure were to the touch the white marble at the bottom of the bath was with a dreadful red on the ledge at the side were an empty bottle and a shell handled soiled but not with ink separation of vein death rapid been dead at least half an hour this echo of the physician s words ran through the passages and little rooms and through the house while he was yet himself from having bent down to reach to the bottom of the bath and while he was yet his hands in water it as the marble was before it mingled into one tint he turned his eyes to the dress upon the sofa and to the watch money and pocket book on the table a folded note half up in the pocket book and half from it caught his observant glance he looked at it touched it pulled it a little further out from among the leaves said quietly this is addressed to me and opened and read it there were no directions for him to give the people of the house knew what to do the proper authorities were soon brought and they took an business like possession of the deceased and of what had been his property with no greater disturbance of manner or countenance than usually the winding up of a clock physician was glad to walk out into the night air was even glad in spite of his great experience to sit down upon a door step for a little while feeling sick and faint bar was a near neighbour of his and when he came to the house he saw a light in the room where he knew his friend often sat late getting up his work as the light was never there when bar was not it gave him assurance that bar was not yet in bed in fact this busy bee had a verdict to get to morrow against evidence and was improving the shining hours in setting for the gentlemen of the jury physician s knock astonished bar but as he immediately suspected that somebody had come to tell him that somebody else was him or otherwise trying to get the better of him he came down promptly and softly he had been clearing his head with a of cold water as a good to providing hot water for the heads of the jury and had been reading with the neck of his shirt thrown wide open that he might the more freely the opposite witnesses in consequence he came down looking rather wild seeing physician the least expected of men he looked and said what s the matter you asked me once what s complaint extraordinary answer i know i did i told you i had not found it out yes i know you did i have | 8 |
found it out little my god said bar starting back and clapping his hand upon the other s breast and so have i i see it in your face they went into the nearest room where physician gave him the letter to read he read it through half a dozen times there was not much in it as to quantity but it made a great demand on his close and continuous attention he could not sufficiently give utterance to his regret that he had not himself found a clue to this the smallest clue he said would have made him master of the case and what a case it would have been to have got to the bottom of physician had engaged to break the intelligence in street ear could not at once return to his of the most enlightened and remarkable jury he had ever seen in that box with whom he could tell his learned friend no shallow would go down and no unhappily abused professional tact and skill prevail this was the way he meant to begin with them so he said he would go too and would to and fro near the house while his friend was inside they walked there the better to recover self possession in the air and the wings of day were fluttering the night when physician knocked at the door a footman of rainbow hues in the public eye was sitting up for his master that is to say was fast asleep in the kitchen over a couple of candles and a newspaper the great of odds against the of a house being set on fire by accident when this serving man was roused physician had still to await the rousing of the chief butler at last that noble creature came into the dining room in a flannel gown and list shoes but with his on and a chief butler all over it was morning now physician had opened the shutters of one window while waiting that he might see the light mrs s maid must be called and told to get mrs up and prepare her as gently as she can to see me i have dreadful news to break to her thus physician to the chief butler the latter who had a candle in his hand called his man to take it away then he approached the window with dignity looking on at physician s news exactly as he had looked on at the dinners in that very room mr is dead i should wish said the chief butler to give a month s notice mr has destroyed himself sir said the chief butler that is very unpleasant to the feelings of one in my position as calculated to awaken prejudice and i should wish to leave immediate if you are not shocked are you not surprised man demanded the physician warmly the chief butler erect and calm replied in these memorable words sir mr never was the gentleman and no act on mr s part would surprise me is there anybody else i can send to you or any other directions i can give before i leave respecting what you would wish to be done when physician after himself of his trust up stairs little rejoined bar in the street he said no more of his interview with mrs than that he had not yet told her all but that what he had told her she had borne pretty well bar had devoted his leisure in the street to the construction of a most ingenious man trap for catching the whole of his jury at a blow having got that matter settled in his mind it was on the late catastrophe and they walked home slowly discussing it in every bearing before parting at physician s door they both looked up at the sunny morning sky into which the smoke of a few early fires and the breath and voices of a few early were peacefully rising and then looked round upon the immense city and said if all those hundreds and thousands of people who were yet asleep could only know as they two spoke the ruin that over them what a fearful cry against one miserable soul would go up to heaven the report that the great man was dead got about with astonishing rapidity at first he was dead of all the diseases that ever were known and of several new invented with the speed of light to meet the demand of the occasion he had concealed a from infancy he had inherited a large estate of water on the chest from his grandfather he had had an operation performed upon him every morning of his life for eighteen years he had been subject to the explosion of important veins in his after the manner of he had had something the matter with his lungs he had had something the matter with his heart he had had something the matter with his brain five hundred people who sat down to breakfast entirely on the whole subject believed before they had done breakfast that they privately and personally knew physician to have said to mr you must expect to go out some day like the snuff of a candle and that they knew mr to have said to physician a man can die but once by about eleven o clock in the something the matter with the brain became the favorite theory against the field and by twelve the something had been distinctly ascertained to be pressure pressure was so entirely satisfactory to the public mind and seemed to make everybody so comfortable that it might have lasted all day but for bar s having taken the real state of the case into court at nine this led to its beginning to be whispered all over london by about one that mr had killed himself pressure however so far from being by the discovery became | 8 |
a greater favorite than ever there was a general upon pressure in every street all the people who had tried to make money and had not been able to do it said there you were you no sooner began to devote yourself to the pursuit of wealth than you got pressure the idle people improved the occasion in a similar manner see said they what you brought yourself to by work work work you persisted in working you it pressure came on and you were done for this consideration was very potent in many quarters but nowhere more so than among the young clerks and partners who had never been in the slightest danger of it these one and all declared quite that they hoped they would never forget the warning as long as they lived and that their conduct might little d t be so regulated as to keep off pressure and preserve them a comfort to their friends for many years but at about the time of high change pressure began to and appalling whispers to east west north and south at first they were faint and went no further than a doubt whether mr s wealth would be found to be as vast as had been supposed whether there might not be a temporary difficulty in it whether there might not even be a temporary say a month or so on the part of the wonderful bank as the whispers became louder which they did from that time every minute they became more threatening he had sprung from nothing by no natural growth or process that any one could account for he had been after all a low ignorant fellow he had been a down looking man and no one had ever been able to catch his eye he had been taken up by all sorts of people in quite an unaccountable manner he had never had any money of his own his had been utterly reckless and his expenditure had been most enormous in steady as the day declined the talk rose in sound and purpose he had left a letter at the addressed to his physician and his physician had got the letter and the letter would be produced at the on the morrow and it would fall like a upon the multitude he had numbers of men in every profession and trade would be by his old people who had been in easy circumstances all their lives would have no place of repentance for their trust in him but the of women and children would have their whole future by the hand of this mighty scoundrel every of his magnificent would be seen to have been a in the plunder of innumerable homes every of riches who had helped to set him on his would have done better to worship the devil point blank so the talk lashed louder and higher by confirmation on confirmation and by edition after edition of the evening papers swelled into such a roar when night came as might have brought one to believe that a solitary on the gallery above the dome of saint paul s would have perceived the night air to be laden with a heavy muttering of the name of coupled with every form of for by that time it was known that the late mr s complaint had been simply and he the uncouth object of such wide spread the at great men s the s egg of great ladies the of the of pride the patron of the bargain driver with a minister for of the office the of more acknowledgment within some ten or fifteen years at most than had been bestowed in england upon all peaceful public and upon all the leaders of all the arts and with all their works to testify for them during two centuries at least he the shining wonder the new to be followed by the wise men bringing gifts until it stopped over certain at the bottom of a bath and disappeared was simply the greatest and the greatest thief that ever cheated the gallows little xxvi the with a sound of hurried breath and hurried feet mr rushed into arthur s counting house the was over the letter was public the bank was broken the other model of straw had taken fire and were turned to smoke the admired ship had blown up in the midst of a vast fleet of ships of all and boats of all sizes and on the deep was nothing but ruin nothing but burning bursting magazines great guns self exploded tearing friends and neighbours to pieces drowning men clinging to and going down every minute spent floating dead and the usual diligence and order of the counting house at the works were letters and papers lay strewn about the desk in the midst of these tokens of energy and dismissed hope the master of the counting house stood idle in his usual place with his arms crossed on the desk and his head bowed down upon them mr rushed in and saw him and stood still in another minute mr s arms were on the desk and mr s head was bowed down upon them and for some time they remained in these attitudes idle and silent with the width of the little room between them mr was the first to lift up his head and speak i persuaded you to it mr i know it say what you will you can t say more to me than i say to myself you can t say more than i deserve u o returned don t speak of deserving what do i myself deserve better luck said i pursued without attending to him who have ruined my partner i have ruined the honest self old man who has worked his way all through his life the man who has against so much disappointment and who has | 8 |
brought out of it such a good and hopeful nature the man i have felt so much for and meant to be so true and useful to i have ruined him brought him to shame and disgrace ruined him ruined him the agony into which the reflection wrought his mind was so distressing to see that mr took hold of himself by the hair of his head and tore it in desperation at the spectacle me cried me sir or i ll do myself an injury say you fool you villain say ass how could you do it beast what did you mean by it catch hold of me somewhere say something to me all the time mr was tearing at his tough hair in a most pitiless and cruel manner little d t if you had never yielded to this fatal said more in than it would have been how much better for you and how much better for me at me again sir cried grinding his teeth in remorse at me again if you had never gone into those accursed calculations and brought out your results with such abominable clearness groaned it would have been how much better for you and how much better for me at me again sir exclaimed his hold of his hair at me again and again however finding him already beginning to be had said all he wanted to say and more he wrung his hand only adding blind leaders of the blind blind leaders of the blind but my injured partner that brought his head down on the desk once more their former attitudes and their former silence were once more first upon by not been to bed sir since it began to get about been high and low on the chance of finding some hope of saving any from the fire all in vain all gone all vanished i know it returned too well mr filled up a pause with a groan that came out of the very depths of his soul only yesterday said arthur only yesterday monday i had the fixed intention of selling and making an end of it i can t say as much for myself sir returned though it s wonderful how many people i ve heard of who going to yesterday of all days in the three hundred and sixty five if it hadn t been too late his steam like usually droll in their effect were more tragic than so many groans while from head to foot he was in that neglected state that he might have been an portrait of misfortune which could scarcely be discerned through its want of cleaning mr had you laid out everything he got over the break before the last word and also brought out the last word itself with great difficulty everything mr took hold of his tough hair again and gave it such a that he pulled out several of it after looking at these with an eye of wild hatred he put them in his pocket my course said brushing away some tears that had been silently dropping down his face must be taken at once what wretched amends i can make must be made i must clear my unfortunate partner s reputation i must retain nothing for myself i must resign to our the power of management i have so much abused and i must work out as much of my fault or crime as is susceptible of being worked out in the rest of my days is it impossible sir to tide over the present out of the question nothing can be over now the little t sooner the business can pass out of my hands the better for it there are engagements to be met this week which would bring the catastrophe before many days were over even if i would it for a single day by going on for that space secretly knowing what i know all last night i thought of what i would do what remains is to do it not entirely of yourself said whose face was as damp as if his steam were turning into water as fast as he blew it off have some legal help perhaps i had better have there is not much to do he will do it as well as another shall i fetch mr if you could spare the time i should be much obliged to you mr put on his hat that moment and away to while he was gone arthur never raised his head from the desk but remained in that one position mr brought his friend and professional adviser mr back with him mr had had such ample experience on the road of mr s being at that present in an state of mind that he opened his professional by that gentleman to take himself out of the way mr crushed and obeyed he is not unlike what my daughter was sir when we began the breach of promise action of and in which she was said mr he takes too strong and direct an interest in the case his feelings are worked upon there is no getting on in our profession with feelings worked upon sir as he pulled off his gloves and put them in his hat he saw in a side glance or two that a great change had come over his i am sorry to perceive sir said mr that you have been allowing your own feelings to be worked upon now pray don t pray don t these losses are much to be sir but we must look em in the face if the money i have sacrificed had been all my own mr sighed i should have cared far less indeed sir said mr rubbing his hands with a cheerful air you surprise me that s singular sir i have generally found in my experience that it s | 8 |
their own money people are most particular about i have seen people get rid of a good deal of other people s money and bear it very well very well indeed with these comforting remarks mr seated himself on an office stool at the desk and proceeded to business now mr by your leave let us go into the matter let us see the state of the case the question is simple the question is the usual plain straightforward common sense question what can we do for what can we do for that is not the question with me mr said arthur you mistake it in the beginning it is what can i do for my partner how can i best make to him i am afraid sir do you know argued mr that you are still allowing your feelings to be worked upon i little don t like the term sir except as a in the hands of counsel will you excuse my saying that i feel it my duty to offer you the caution that you really must not allow your feelings to be worked upon mr said himself to go through with what he had resolved upon and surprising that gentleman by appearing in his despondency to have a settled determination of purpose you give me the impression that you will not be much disposed to adopt the course i have made up my mind to take if your of it should render you unwilling to discharge such business as it i am sorry for it and must seek other aid but i will represent to you at once that to argue against it with me is useless good sir answered mr his shoulders good sir since the business is to be done by some hands let it be done by mine such was my principle in the case of and such is my principle in most cases then proceeded to state to mr his fixed resolution he told mr that his partner was a man of great simplicity and integrity and that in all he meant to do he was guided above all things by a knowledge of his partner s character and a respect for his feelings he explained that his partner was then absent on an enterprise of importance and that it particularly himself publicly to accept the blame of what he had done and publicly to his partner from all in the responsibility of it lest the successful conduct of that enterprise should be by the slightest suspicion to his partner s honor and credit in another country he told mr that to clear his partner morally to the fullest extent and publicly and to declare that he arthur of that firm had of his own sole act and even expressly against his partner s caution embarked its resources in the that had lately perished was the only real within his was a better to the particular man than it would be to many men and was therefore the he had first to make with this view his intention was to print a declaration to the foregoing effect which he had already drawn up and besides it among all who had dealings with the house to it in the public papers with this measure the description of which cost mr innumerable faces and great uneasiness in his limbs he would address a letter to all the his partner in a solemn manner informing them of the of the house until their pleasure could be known and his partner communicated with and humbly himself to their direction if through their consideration for his partner s innocence the affairs could ever be got into such train as that the business could be resumed and its present overcome then his own share in it should to his partner as the only he could make to him in money value for the distress and loss he had unhappily brought upon him and he himself at as small a salary as he could live upon would ask to be allowed to serve the business as a faithful clerk though mr saw plainly that there was no preventing this little from being done still the of his face and the uneasiness of his limbs so sorely required the of a protest that he made one i offer no objection sir said he i argue no point with you i will carry out your views sir but under protest mr then stated not without the heads of his protest these were in effect because the whole town or he might say the whole country was in the first madness of the late discovery and the resentment against the victims would be very strong those who had not been being certain to wax exceedingly with them for not having been as wise as they were and those who had been being certain to find excuses and reasons for themselves of which they were equally certain to see that other were wholly devoid not to mention the great probability of every individual sufferer persuading himself to his violent indignation that but for the example of all the other he never would have put himself in the way of suffering because such a declaration as s made at such a time would certainly draw down upon him a storm of rendering it impossible to calculate on forbearance in the or on among them and exposing him a solitary to a straggling cross fire which might bring him down from half a dozen quarters at once to all this merely replied that the whole protest nothing in it lessened the force or could lessen the force of the voluntary and public of his partner he therefore once for all requested mr s immediate aid in getting the business upon that mr fell to work and arthur retaining no property to himself but his clothes and books and a little loose money placed his small | 8 |
gate young john turned and said to him you want a room i have got you one m i thank you heartily young john turned again and took him in at the old doorway up the old staircase into the old room arthur stretched out his hand young john looked at it looked at him sternly swelled choked and said i don t know as i can no i find i can t but i thought you d like the room and here it is for you surprise at this inconsistent behaviour yielded when he was gone he went away directly to the feelings which the empty room awakened in s wounded breast and to the crowding associations with the one good and gentle creature who had it her absence in his altered fortunes made it and him in it so very desolate and so much in need of such a face of love and truth that he turned against the wall to weep sobbing out as his heart relieved itself my little little chapter the of the the day was sunny and the with the hot noon striking upon it was quiet arthur dropped into a solitary arm chair itself as faded as any in the jail and himself to his thoughts in the unnatural peace of having gone through the dreaded arrest and got there the first change of feeling which the prison most commonly induced and from which dangerous resting place so many men had slipped down to the depths of degradation and disgrace by so many ways he could think of some passages in his life almost as if he were removed from them into another state of existence taking into account where he was the interest that had first brought him there when he had been free to keep away and the gentle presence that was equally inseparable from the walls and bars about him and from the of his later life which no walls nor bars could it was not remarkable that everything his memory turned upon should bring him round again to little yet it was remarkable to him not because of the fact itself but because of the it brought with it how much the dear little creature had influenced his better resolutions one of us clearly know to whom or to what we are indebted in this wise until some marked stop in the whirling wheel of life brings the right perception with it it comes with sickness it comes with sorrow it comes with the loss of the dearly loved it is one of the most frequent uses of it came to in his strongly and tenderly when i first gathered myself together he thought and set something like purpose before my eyes whom had i before me toiling on for a good object s sake without encouragement without notice against obstacles that would have turned an army of received heroes and one weak girl when i tried to conquer my love and to be generous to the man who was more fortunate than i though he should never know it or repay me with a gracious word in whom had i watched patience self denial self charitable construction the noblest generosity of the affections in the same poor girl if i a man with a man s advantages and means and energies had the whisper in my heart that if my father had it was my first duty to conceal the fault and to repair it what youthful figure with tender feet going almost bare on the damp ground with spare hands ever working with its slight shape but half protected from the sharp weather would have stood before me to put me to shame little s so always as he sat alone in the faded chair thinking always little until n n little it seemed to him as if lie met the reward of having wandered away from her and suffered anything to pass between him and his remembrance of her virtues his door was opened and the head of the elder was put in a very little way without being turned towards him i am off the lock mr and going out can i do anything for you many thanks nothing you ll excuse me opening the door said mr but i couldn t make you hear did you knock half a dozen times rousing himself observed that the prison had awakened from its that the inmates were about the shady yard and that it was late in the afternoon he had been thinking for hours your things is come said mr and my son is going to em up i should have sent em up but for his wishing to carry em himself indeed he would have em himself and so i couldn t send em up mr could i say a word to you pray come in said arthur for mr s head was still put in at the door a very little way and mr had but one ear upon him instead of both eyes this was native delicacy in mr true politeness though his exterior had very much of a about it and not the least of a gentleman thank you sir said mr without advancing it s no odds me coming in mr don t you take no notice of my son if you ll be so good in case you find him cut up difficult my son has a art and my son s art is in the right place me and his mother knows where to find it and we find it correct with this mysterious speech mr took his ear away and shut the door he might have been gone ten minutes when his son succeeded him here s your he said to arthur putting it carefully down it s very kind of you i am ashamed that you should have the trouble he | 8 |
touched the staircase the room was so far changed that it was now and had been and was far more comfortably furnished but he could it just as he had seen it in that single glance when he raised her from the ground and carried her down to the carriage young john looked hard at him biting his fingers i see you recollect the room mr i recollect it well heaven bless her of the tea young john continued to bite his fingers and to look at his visitor as long as his visitor continued to glance about the room finally he made a start at the rattled a quantity of tea into it from a and set off for the common kitchen to fill it with hot water the room was so eloquent to in the changed circumstances of his return to the miserable it spoke to him so mournfully of her and of his loss of her that it would have gone hard with him to resist it even though he had not been alone alone he did not try he laid his hand on the insensible wall as tenderly as if it had been herself that he touched and pronounced her name in a low voice he stood at the window looking over the prison with its grim border and breathed a through the summer haze towards the distant land where she was rich and prosperous young john was some time absent and when he came back showed that he had been outside by bringing with him fresh butter j m w mv little in a leaf some thin of boiled ham in another leaf and a little basket of water and when these were arranged upon the table to his satisfaction they sat down to tea tried to do honor to the meal but the ham him the bread seemed to turn to sand in his mouth he could force nothing upon himself but a cup of tea try a little something green said young john handing him the basket he took a or so of water and tried again but the bread turned to a heavier sand than before and the ham though it was good enough of itself seemed to blow a faint of ham through the whole try a little more something green sir said young john and again handed the basket it was so like handing green meat into the cage of a dull imprisoned bird and john had so evidently bought the little basket as a of fresh relief from the stale hot stones and bricks of the jail that said with a smile it was very kind of you to think of putting this between the wires but i cannot even get this down to day as if the difficulty were young john soon pushed away his own plate and fell to folding the leaf that had contained the ham when he had folded it into a number of one over another so that it was small in the palm of his hand he began to it between both his hands and to eye attentively i wonder he at length said his green packet with some force that if it s not worth your while to take care of yourself for your own sake it s not worth doing for some one else s truly returned arthur with a sigh and a smile i don t know for whose mr said john warmly i m surprised that a gentleman who is capable of the that you are capable of should be capable of the mean action of making me such an answer mr i am surprised that a gentleman who is capable of having a heart of his own should be capable of the of treating mine in that way i am astonished at it sir really and truly i am astonished having got upon his feet to his concluding words young john sat down again and fell to rolling his green packet on his right leg never taking his eyes off but surveying him with a fixed look of indignant reproach i had got over it sir said john i had conquered it knowing that it must be conquered and had come to the resolution to think no more about it i shouldn t have given my mind to it again i hope if to this prison you had not been brought and in an hour unfortunate for me this day in his agitation young john adopted his mother s powerful construction of sentences when you first came upon me sir in the lodge this day more as if a tree had been made a capture of than a private such mingled streams of feelings broke loose again within me that everything was for the first few minutes swept away before them and i was going round and round in little t a i got out of it i struggled and got out of it if it was the last word i had to speak against that with my utmost powers i strove and out of it i came i argued that if i had been rude apologies was due and those apologies without a question of i did make and now when i ve been so to show that one thought is next to being a holy one with me and goes before all others now after all yon me when i ever so gently hint at it and throw me back upon myself tor do not sir said young john do not be so base as to deny that you do and thrown me back upon myself you have all amazement arthur gazed at him like one lost only saying what is it what do you mean john but john being in that state of mind in which nothing would seem to be more impossible to a certain class of people than the giving of an | 8 |
answer went ahead blindly i hadn t john declared no i hadn t and i never had the to think i am sure that all was anything but lost i hadn t no why should i say i hadn t if i ever had any hope that it was possible to be so not after the words that passed not even if had not been raised but is that a reason why i am to have no memory why i am to have no thoughts why i am to have no sacred spots nor anything what can you mean cried arthur it s all very well to on it sir john went on a very of wild words if a person can make up his mind to be guilty of the action it s all very well to on it but it s there it may be that it couldn t be trampled upon if it wasn t there but that doesn t make it gentlemanly that doesn t make it honorable that doesn t justify throwing a person back upon himself after he struggled and out of himself like a butterfly the world may sneer at a but he s a man when he isn t a woman which among female he s expected to be ridiculous as the of his talk was there was yet a in young john s simple sentimental character and a sense of being wounded in some very tender respect expressed in his burning face and in the agitation of his voice and manner which arthur must have been cruel to disregard he turned his thoughts back to the point of this unknown injury and in the meantime young john having rolled his green packet pretty round cut it carefully into three pieces and laid it on a plate as if it were some particular delicacy it seems to me just possible said arthur when he had the conversation to the water and back again that you have made some reference to miss it is just possible sir returned john i don t understand it i hope i may not be so unlucky as to make you think i mean to offend you again for i never have meant to offend you yet when i say i don t understand it sir said young john will you have the to deny that you know and long have known that i felt towards miss call it not the presumption of love but adoration and sacrifice little indeed john i will not have any if i know it why you should suspect me of it i am at a loss to think did you ever hear from mrs your mother that i went to see her once no sir returned john shortly never heard of such a thing but i did can you imagine why no sir returned john shortly i can t imagine i will tell you i was to promote miss s happiness and if i could have supposed that miss returned your affection poor john turned crimson to the tips of his ears miss never did sir i wish to be honorable and true so far as in my humble way i can and i would scorn to pretend for a moment that she ever did or that she ever led me to believe she did no nor even that it was ever to be expected in any cool reason that she would or could she was far above me in all respects at all times as likewise added john was her gen family his feeling towards all that belonged to her made him so very respectable in spite of his small stature and his rather weak legs and his very weak hair and his poetical temperament that a might have sat in his place demanding less consideration at arthur s hands you speak john he said with cordial admiration like a man well sir returned john brushing his hand across his eyes then i wish you d do the same he was quick with this unexpected retort and it again made arthur regard him with a wondering expression of face said john stretching his hand across the tea tray if too strong a remark withdrawn but why not why not when i say to you mr take care of yourself for some one else s sake why not be open though a why did i get you the room which i knew you d like best why did i carry up your things not that i found em heavy i don t mention em on that accounts far from it why have i cultivated you in the manner i have done since the morning on the ground of your own merits no they re very great i ve no doubt at all but not on the ground of them another s merits have had their weight and have had far more weight with me then why not speak free john said you are so good a fellow and i have so true a respect for your character that if i have appeared to be less sensible than i really am of the fact that the kind services you have rendered me to day are to my having been trusted by miss as her friend i confess it to be a fault and i ask your forgiveness oh why not john repeated with returning scorn why not speak free i declare to you returned arthur that i do not understand you look at me consider the trouble i have been in is it likely that i would add to my other self reproaches that of being ungrateful or treacherous to you i do not understand you john s incredulous face slowly softened into a face of doubt he little rose backed into the garret window of the room beckoned arthur to come there and stood looking at him thoughtfully mr do | 8 |
you mean to say that you don t know what john lord said young john appealing with a gasp to the on the wall he says what looked at the and looked at john and looked at the and looked at john he says what and what is more exclaimed young john surveying him in a he appears to mean it do you see this window sir of course i see this window see this room why of course i see this room that wall opposite and that yard down below they have all been witnesses of it from day to day from night to night from week to week from month to month for how often have i seen miss here when she has not seen me witnesses of what said of miss s love tor whom you said john and touched him with the back of his hand upon the breast and backed to his chair and sat down in it with a pale face holding the arms and shaking his head at him if he had dealt a heavy blow instead of laying that light touch upon him its effect could not have been to shake him more he stood amazed his eyes looking at john his lips parted and seeming now and then to form the word me without uttering it his hands dropped at his sides his whole appearance that of a man who has been awakened from sleep and by intelligence beyond his full comprehension me he at length said aloud ah groaned young john you he did what he could to muster a smile and returned your fancy you are completely mistaken i mistaken sir said young john completely mistaken on that subject o mr don t tell me so on any other if you like for i don t set up to be a penetrating character and am well aware of my own but i mistaken on a point that has caused me more smart in my breast than a flight of savages arrows could have done mistaken on a point that almost sent me into my grave as i sometimes wished it would if the grave could only have been made with the tobacco business and father and mother s feelings i mistaken on a point that even at the present moment makes me take out my pocket like a great girl as people say though i am sure i don t know why a great girl should be a term of reproach for every rightly constituted male mind loves em great and small don t tell me so don t tell me so still highly respectable at bottom though absurd enough upon the surface young john took out his pocket handkerchief with a genuine absence both of display and concealment which is only to be seen in a little man with a great deal of good in him when he takes out his pocket handkerchief for the purpose of wiping his eyes having dried them and indulged in the harmless luxury of a sob and a he put it up again the touch was still in its influence so like a blow that arthur could not get many words together to close the subject with he assured john when he had returned his handkerchief to his pocket that he did all honor to his and to the fidelity of his remembrance of miss as to the impression on his mind of which he had just relieved it here john interposed and said no impression certainty as to that they might perhaps speak of it at another time but would say no more now feeling and weary he would go back to his room with john s leave and come out no more that night john assented and he crept back in the shadow of the wall to his own lodging the feeling of the blow was still so strong upon him that when the dirty old woman was gone whom he found sitting on the stairs outside his door waiting to make his bed and who gave him to understand while doing it that she had received her instructions from mr not the old un but the young un he sat down in the faded pressing his head between his hands as if he had been stunned little love him more bewildering to him than his misery far consider the he had been accustomed to call her his child and his dear child and to invite her confidence by dwelling upon the difference in their respective ages and to speak of himself as one who was turning old yet she might not have thought him old something reminded him that he had not thought himself so until the roses had floated away upon the river he had her two letters among other papers in his box and he took them out and read them there seemed to be a sound in them like the sound of her sweet voice it fell upon his ear with many tones of tenderness that were not of the new meaning now it was that the quiet desolation of her answer no no no made to him that night in that very room that night when he had been shown the dawn of her altered fortune and when other words had passed between them which he had been destined to remember in humiliation and a prisoner rushed into his mind consider the but it had a tendency when considered to become fainter there was another and a curious of his own heart s that became stronger in the reluctance he had felt to believe that she loved any one in his desire to set that question at rest in a half formed consciousness he had had that there would be a kind of in his helping her love for any one was there no suppressed something on his own side that he | 8 |
had hushed as it arose had he ever whispered to himself that he must not think of such a thing as her loving him that he must not take advantage of her gratitude that he must keep his experience in remembrance as a warning and reproof that he must regard such youthful hopes as having passed away as his friend s dead daughter had passed away that he must be steady in little saying to himself that the time had gone by him and he was too and old he had kissed her when he raised her from the ground on the day when she had been so and forgotten quite as he might have kissed her if she had been conscious no difference the darkness found him occupied with these thoughts the darkness also found mr and mrs knocking at his door they brought with them a basket filled with choice from that stock in trade which met with such a quick sale and produced such a slow return mrs was affected to tears mr growled in his philosophical but not manner that there was you see and there was downs it was in to ask why why downs there they was you know he had it given for a truth that as the world went round which round it did even the best of gentlemen must take his turn of standing with his ed down and all his air a flying the wrong way into what you might call space well then what mr said was well then that gentleman s ed would come up when his turn come that gentleman s air would be a pleasure to look upon being all smooth again and well then it has been already stated that mrs not being philosophical wept it further happened that mrs not being philosophical was intelligible it may have arisen out of her softened state of mind out of her sex s wit out of a woman s quick association of ideas or out of a woman s no association of ideas but it further happened somehow that mrs s displayed itself upon the very subject of arthur s meditations the way father has been talking about you mr said mrs you hardly would believe it s made him quite poorly as to his voice this misfortune has took it away you know what a sweet singer father is but he couldn t get a note out for the children at tea if you ll credit what i tell you while speaking mrs shook her head and wiped her eyes and looked about the room as to mr pursued mrs whatever he ll do when he comes to know of it i can t conceive nor yet imagine he d have been here before now you may be sure but that he s away on confidential business of your own the manner in which he follows up that business and gives himself no rest from it it really do said mrs winding up in the italian manner as i say to him though not conceited mrs felt that she had turned this sentence with peculiar elegance mr could not conceal his exultation in her accomplishments as a but what i say is mr the good woman went on there s always something to be thankful for as i am sure you will yourself admit speaking in this room it s not hard to think what the present something is it s a thing to be thankful for indeed that miss is not here to know it little m arthur thought she looked at him with particular expression it s a thing mrs to be thankful for indeed that miss is far away it s to be hoped she is not likely to hear of it if she had been here to see it sir it s not to be doubted that the sight of you mrs repeated those words not to be doubted that the sight of you in misfortune and trouble would have been almost too much for her affectionate heart there s nothing i can think of that would have touched miss so bad as that of a certainty mrs did look at him now with a sort of quivering defiance in her friendly emotion yes said she and it shows what notice father takes though at his time of life that he says to me this afternoon which happy cottage knows i neither make it up nor mary it s much to be rejoiced in that miss is not on the spot to behold it those were father s words father s own words was much to be rejoiced in mary that miss is not on the spot to behold it i says to father then i says to him father you are right that mrs concluded with the air of a veiy precise legal witness is what passed father and me and i tell you nothing but what did pass me and father mr as being of a more temperament embraced this opportunity of with the suggestion that she should now leave mr to himself for you see said mr gravely i know what it is old repeating that valuable remark several times as if it appeared to him to include some great moral secret finally the worthy couple went away arm in arm little little again for hours always little happily if it ever had been so it was over and better over granted that she had loved him and he had known it and had suffered himself to love her what a road to have led her away upon the road that would have brought her back to this miserable place he ought to be much comforted by the reflection that she was quit of it for ever that she was or would soon be married vague of her father s projects in that direction | 8 |
had reached bleeding heart yard with the news of her sister s marriage and that the gate had shut for ever on all those perplexed possibilities of a time that was gone dear little looking back upon his own poor story she was its vanishing point everything in its perspective led to her innocent figure he had travelled thousands of miles towards it previous hopes and doubts had worked themselves out before it it was the centre of the interest of his life it was the termination of everything that was good and pleasant in it beyond there was nothing but mere waste and darkened sky as ill at ease as on the first night of his lying down to sleep within those dreary walls he wore the night out with such thoughts what little time young john lay in peaceful slumber after and arranging the following inscription on his pillow stranger the tomb of john junior who died at ax advanced age not necessary to mention he encountered his rival in a distressed state and felt inclined to have a round with him but for the sake of the loved one conquered those feelings of bitterness and became chapter an appearance in the the opinion of the community outside the prison gates bore hard on as time went on and he made no friends among the community within too depressed to associate with the herd in the yard who got together to forget their cares too retiring and too unhappy to join in the poor of the tavern he kept his own room and was held in distrust some said he was proud some objected that he was and reserved some were contemptuous of him for that he was a poor spirited dog who under his debts the whole population were shy of him on these various counts of but especially the last which involved a species of domestic treason and he soon became so confirmed in his seclusion that his only time for walking up and down was when the evening club were assembled at their songs and and sentiments and when the yard was nearly left to the women and children imprisonment began to tell upon him he knew that he and after what he had known of the influences of imprisonment within the four small walls of the very room he occupied this consciousness made him afraid of himself shrinking from the observation of other men and shrinking from his own he began to change very sensibly anybody might see that the shadow of the wall was dark upon him one day when he might have been some ten or twelve weeks in jail and when he had been trying to read and had not been able to release even the imaginary people of the book from the a footstep stopped at his door and a hand tapped at it he arose and opened it and an agreeable voice him with how do you do mr i hope i am not unwelcome in calling to see you little it was the young he looked very good natured and though gay and free in contrast with the prison yon are surprised to see me mr he said taking the seat which offered him i must confess to being much surprised not i hope by no means thank you frankly said the engaging young i have been excessively sorry to hear that you were under the necessity of a temporary retirement here and i hope of course as between two private gentlemen that our place has had nothing to do with it your office our place i cannot charge any part of my upon that remarkable establishment upon my life said the young i am heartily glad to know it it is quite a relief to me to hear you say it i should have so exceedingly regretted our place having had anything to do with your difficulties again assured him that he it of the responsibility that s right said lam very happy to hear it i was rather afraid in my own mind that we might have helped to floor you because there is no doubt that it is our misfortune to do that kind of thing now and then we don t want to do it but if men will be why we can t help it without giving an assent to what you say returned arthur gloomily i am much obliged to you for your interest in me no but really our place is said the easy young the most place possible you ll say we are a i won t say we are not but all that sort of thing is intended to be and must be don t you see i do not said you don t regard it from the right point of view it is the point of view that is the essential thing regard our place from the point of view that we only ask you to leave us alone and we are as capital a department as you ll find anywhere is your place there to be left alone asked you exactly hit it returned it is there with the express intention that everything shall be left alone that is what it means that is what it s for no doubt there s a certain form to be kept up that it s for something else but it s only a form why good heaven we are nothing but forms think what a lot of our forms you have gone through and you have never got any nearer to an end never said look at it from the right point of view and there you have us official and effectual it s like a limited game of a field of are always going in to bowl at the public service and we block the balls asked what became of the the airy young little replied that | 8 |
they grew tired got dead beat got got their backs broken died off gave it up went in for other games and this occasions me to congratulate myself again he pursued on the circumstance that our place has had nothing to do with your temporary retirement it very easily might have had a hand in it because it is that we are sometimes a most unlucky place in our effects upon people who will not leave us alone mr i am quite with you as between yourself and myself i know i may be i was so when i first saw you making the mistake of not leaving as alone because i perceived that w ere inexperienced and sanguine and had i hope you ll not object to my saying some simplicity s t ot at all some simplicity therefore i felt what a pity it was and i went out of my way to hint to you which really was not official but i never am when i can help it something to the effect that if i were you i wouldn t bother myself however you did bother yourself and you have since yourself now don t do it any more i am not likely to have the opportunity said oh yes you are you ll leave here everybody leaves here there are no ends of ways of leaving here now don t come back to us that entreaty is the second object of my call pray don t come back to us upon my honor said in a very friendly and confiding way i shall be greatly vexed if you don t take warning by the past and keep away from us and the invention said my good fellow returned if you ll excuse the freedom of that form of address nobody wants to know of the invention and nobody cares about it nobody in the office that is to say nor out of it everybody is ready to dislike and ridicule any invention you have no idea how many people want to be left alone you have no idea how the genius of the country overlook the nature of the phrase and don t be bored by it to being left alone believe me mr said the young in his manner our place is not a wicked giant to be charged at full but only a showing you as it immense quantities of which way the country wind blows if i could believe that said it would be a dismal prospect for all of us oh don t say so returned it s all right we must have we all like we couldn t get on a little and a and every thing goes on admirably if you leave it alone with this hopeful confession of his faith as the head of the rising who were born of woman to be followed under a variety of which they utterly and rose nothing could be more agreeable than his frank and courteous bearing or adapted with a more gentlemanly instinct to the circumstances of his visit is it fair to ask he said as gave him his hand with a little real feeling of for his and good humour whether it is true that our late lamented is the cause of this i am one of the many he has ruined yes he must have been an exceedingly clever fellow said arthur not being in a mood to the memory of the deceased was silent a rascal of course said but remarkably clever one cannot help admiring the fellow must have been such a master of knew people so well got over them so completely did so much with them in his easy way he was really moved to genuine admiration i hope said arthur that he and his may be a warning to people not to have so much done with them again my dear mr returned laughing have you really such a hope the next man who has as large a capacity and as genuine a taste for will succeed as well pardon mo but i think you really have no idea how the human bees will swarm to the beating of any old tin kettle in that fact lies the complete manual of governing them when they can be got to believe that the kettle is made of the precious in that fact lies the whole power of men like our late lamented to doubt there are here and there said politely exceptional cases where people have been taken in for what appeared to them to be much better reasons and i need not go far to find such a case but they don t the rule good day i hope that when i have the pleasure of seeing you next this passing cloud will have given place to sunshine don t come a step beyond the door i know the way out perfectly good day with those words the best and brightest of the went down stairs his way through the lodge mounted his horse in the front and rode off to keep an appointment with his noble who wanted a little before he could triumphantly answer certain who were going to question the about their he must have passed mr on his way out for a minute or two afterwards that ruddy headed gentleman shone in at the door like an elderly m how do you do to day sir said mr is there any little thing i can do for you to day sir no i thank you mr s enjoyment of embarrassed affairs was like a housekeeper s enjoyment in and preserving or a s enjoyment of a heavy wash or a s enjoyment of an overflowing dust or any other professional enjoyment of a mess in the way of business i still look round from time to time sir said mr cheerfully to see | 8 |
whether any lingering are at the gate they have fallen in pretty thick sir as thick as we could have expected little he remarked upon the circumstance as if it were matter of rubbing his hands briskly and rolling his head a little as thick repeated mr as we could reasonably have expected quite a shower bath of em i don t often intrude upon you now when i look round because i know you are not inclined for company and that if you wished to see me you would leave word in the lodge but i am here pretty well every day sir would this be an time sir asked mr for me to an observation as a time as any other hum public opinion sir said mr has been busy with you i don t doubt it might it not be advisable sir said mr more yet now to make at last and after all a trifling concession to public opinion we all do it in one way or another the fact is we must do it i cannot set myself right with it mr and have no business to expect that i ever shall don t say that sir don t say that the cost of being moved to the bench is almost insignificant and if the general feeling is strong that you ought to be there why really i thought you had settled mr said arthur that my determination to remain here was a matter of taste well sir well but is it good taste is it good taste that s the question mr was so soothingly as to be quite pathetic i was almost going to say is it good feeling this is an extensive affair of yours and your remaining here where a man can come for a pound or two is remarked upon as not in keeping it is not in keeping i can t tell you sir in how many quarters i hear it mentioned i heard comments made upon it last night in a parlor frequented by what i should call if i did not look in there now and then myself the best legal company i heard there comments on it that i was sorry to hear they hurt me on your account again only this morning at breakfast my daughter but a woman you ll say yet still with a feeling for these things and even with some little personal experience as the in and was expressing her great surprise her great surprise now under these circumstances and considering that none of us can quite set ourselves above public opinion wouldn t a trifling concession to that opinion be come sir said i will put it on the lowest ground of argument and say amiable arthur s thoughts had once more wandered away to little and the question remained as to myself sir said mr hoping that his eloquence had reduced him to a state of it is a principle of mine not to consider myself when a s inclinations are in the scale but knowing your considerate character and general wish to oblige i will repeat that i should prefer your being in the bench your case has made a noise it is a creditable case to be concerned in i should feel on a better standing with my if you went to the bench don t let that influence you sir i merely state the fact little so had the prisoner s attention already grown in solitude and and so accustomed had it become to with only one silent figure within the ever frowning walls that had to shake off a kind of stupor before he could look at mr recall the thread of his talk and hurriedly say i am unchanged and in my decision pray let it be let it be mr without concealing that he was and replied oh beyond a doubt sir i have travelled out of the record sir i am aware in putting the point to you but really when i hear it remarked in several companies and in very good company that however worthy of a foreigner it is not worthy of the spirit of an englishman to remain in the when the glorious liberties of his island home admit of his removal to the bench i thought i would depart from the narrow professional line marked out to me and mention it personally said mr i have no opinion on the topic that s well returned arthur oh s t one at all sir said mr if i had i should have been unwilling some minutes ago to see a of mine visited in this place by a gentleman of high family riding a saddle horse but it was not my business if i had i might have wished to be now to mention to another gentleman a gentleman of military exterior at present waiting in the lodge that my had never intended to remain here and was on the eve of removal to a superior abode but my course as a professional machine is clear i have nothing to do with it is it your good pleasure to see the gentleman sir who is waiting to see me did you say i did take that liberty sir hearing that i was your professional adviser he declined to before my very limited function was performed happily said mr with sarcasm i did not so far travel out of the record as to ask the gentleman for his name i suppose i have no resource but to see him sighed wearily then it is your good pleasure sir retorted am i honored by your instructions to mention as much to the gentleman as i pass out i am thank you sir i take my leave his leave he took accordingly in the gentleman of military exterior had so imperfectly awakened s curiosity in the existing state of | 8 |
his mind that a half forgetfulness of such a visitor s having been referred to was already creeping over it as a part of the sombre veil which almost always it now when a heavy footstep on the stairs aroused him it appeared to ascend them not very promptly or yet with a display of stride and clatter meant to be insulting as it paused for a moment on the landing outside his door he could not recall his association with the peculiarity of its sound though he thought he had one only a moment was given him for consideration his door was immediately swung open by a and in the doorway stood the missing the cause of many anxieties o o little fellow jail bird said he you want me it seems here i am before arthur could speak to him in his indignant wonder followed him into the room mr followed neither of the two had been there since its present had had possession of it mr breathing hard near the window put his hat on the ground stirred his hair up with both hands and folded his arms like a man who had come to a pause in a hard day s work mr never taking his eyes from his dreaded of old softly sat down on the floor with his back against the door and one of his ankles in each hand the attitude except that it was now expressive of in which he had sat before the same man in the deeper shade of another prison one hot morning at i have it on the witnessing of these two said otherwise otherwise that you want me brother bird here i am glancing round contemptuously at the which was turned up by day he leaned his back against it as a resting place without removing his hat from his head and stood lounging with his hands in his pockets you villain of ill omen said arthur you have purposely cast a dreadful suspicion upon my mother s house why have you done it what prompted you to the devilish invention after frowning at him for a moment laughed hear this noble gentleman listen all the world to this creature of virtue but take care take care it is possible my friend that your is a little holy blue it is possible interposed also addressing arthur for to commence hear me i received your instructions to find him is it not it is the truth i go it would have given mrs great concern if she could have been persuaded that his occasional of an in this way was the chief fault of his english first among my countrymen i ask them what news in of foreigners arrived then i go among the french then i go among the they all tell me the great part of us know well the other and they all tell me but no person can tell me nothing of him fifteen times said thrice throwing out his left hand with all its fingers spread and doing it so rapidly that the sense of sight could hardly follow the action i ask of him in every place where go the foreigners and fifteen times repeating the same swift performance they know nothing but at his significant italian rest on the word but his back handed shake of his right forefinger came into play a very little and very cautiously but after long time when i have not been able to find that he is here in some one tells me of a soldier with white hair hey not hair like this that he carries white who lives retired v v little in a certain place but with another rest upon the word who sometimes in the after dinner walks and it is necessary as they say in italy and as they know poor people to have patience i have patience i ask where is this certain place one believes it is here one believes it is there eh well it is not here it is not there i wait at last i find it then i watch then i hide until he walks and he is a soldier with grey hair but a very decided rest indeed and a very vigorous play from side to side of the back handed forefinger he is also this man that you see it was noticeable that in his old habit of submission to one who had been at the trouble of asserting superiority over him he even then bestowed upon a confused bend of his head after thus pointing him out eh well he cried in conclusion addressing arthur again i waited for a good opportunity i some words to an air of novelty came over mr with this to come and help i showed him at his window to who was often the spy in the day i slept at night near the door of the house at last we entered only this to day and now you see him as he would not come up in presence of the illustrious advocate such was mr s honorable mention of mr we waited down below there together and guarded the street at the close of this recital arthur turned his eyes upon the impudent and wicked face as it met his the nose came down over the moustache and the moustache went up under the nose when nose and moustache had settled into their places again loudly snapped his fingers half a dozen times bending forward to jerk the at arthur as if they were palpable which he jerked into his face now said what do you want with me i want to know returned arthur without his how you dare direct a suspicion of murder against my mother s house dare cried ho ho hear him dare is it dare by heaven my | 8 |
small boy but you are a little i want that suspicion to be cleared away said arthur you shall be taken there and be publicly seen i want to know moreover what business you had there when i had a burning desire to fling you down stairs don t frown at me man i have seen enough of you to know that you are a bully and coward i need no revival of my spirits from the effects of this wretched place to tell you so plain a fact and one that you know so well white to the lips hi moustache muttering by heaven my small boy but you are a little of my lady your respectable mother and seemed for a minute how to act his was soon gone he sat himself down with a threatening and said give me a bottle of wine you can buy wine here send one of o o little d your to get me a bottle of wine i won t talk to you without wine come yes fetch him what he wants said arthur scornfully producing the money beast added bring port wine i ll drink nothing but the beast however assuring all present with his significant finger that he declined to leave his post at the door offered his services he soon returned with the bottle of wine which according to the custom of the place in a of among the in common with a of much else was already opened for use madman a large glass said put a before him not without a visible conflict of feeling on the question of throwing it at his head boasted once a gentleman and always a gentleman a gentleman from the beginning and a gentleman to the end what the devil a gentleman must be waited on i hope it s a part of my character to be waited on he half filled the as he said it and drank off the contents when he had done saying it his lips not a very old prisoner that i judge by your looks brave sir that imprisonment will subdue your blood much sooner than it this hot wine you are losing body and color already i salute you he tossed off another half glass holding it up both before and afterwards so as to display his small white hand to business he then continued to conversation you have shown yourself more free of speech than body sir i have used the freedom of telling you what you know yourself to be you know yourself as we all know you to be far worse than that add always a gentleman and it s no matter except in that regard we are all alike for example you couldn t for your life be a gentleman i couldn t for my life be otherwise how great the difference let us go on words sir never influenced the course of the cards or the course of the do you know that you do i also play a game and words are without power over it now that he was confronted with and knew that his story was known whatever thin disguise he had worn he dropped and faced it out with a bare face as the infamous wretch he was no my son he resumed with a snap of his fingers i play my game to the end in spite of words and death of my body and death of my soul i ll win it you want to know why i played this little trick that you have interrupted know then that i had and that i have do you understand me have a to sell to my lady your respectable mother i described my precious and fixed my price touching the bargain your admirable mother was a little too calm too stolid too immovable and statue like in fine your admirable mother vexed me to make variety in my position and to amuse myself what a gentleman must be amused little d t at somebody s expense i conceived the happy idea of disappearing an idea see you that your characteristic mother and my would have been well enough pleased to execute ah don t look as from high to low at me i repeat it well enough pleased excessively enchanted with all their hearts how strongly will you have it he threw out the of his glass on the ground so that they nearly this seemed to draw his attention to him anew he set down his glass and said i ll not fill it what i am born to be served come then you and fill the little man looked at whose eyes were occupied with and seeing no got up from the ground and poured out from the bottle into the glass the as he did so of his old submission with a sense of something humorous the striving of that with a certain ferocity which might have flashed fire in an instant as the born gentleman seemed to think for he had a wary eye upon him and the easy yielding of all to a good natured careless to sit down on the ground again formed a very remarkable combination of character this happy idea brave sir resumed after drinking was a happy idea for several reasons it amused me it worried your dear and my it caused you agonies my terms for a lesson in politeness towards a gentleman and it suggested to all the amiable persons interested that your entirely devoted is a man to fear by heaven he is a man to fear beyond this it might have restored her wit to my lady your mother might under the pressing little suspicion your wisdom has recognised have persuaded her at last to announce in the journals that the difficulties of a certain contract would be removed by the appearance | 8 |
of a certain important party to it perhaps yes perhaps no but that you have interrupted now what is it you say what is it you want never had felt more that he was a prisoner in bonds than when he saw this man before him and could not accompany him to his mother s house all the difficulties and dangers he had ever feared were closing in when he could not stir hand or foot perhaps my friend philosopher man of virtue what you will perhaps said pausing in his drink to look out of his glass with his horrible smile you would have done better to leave me alone no at least said you are known to be alive and at least you cannot escape from these two witnesses and they can produce you before any public authorities or before hundreds of people but will not produce me before one said snapping his fingers again with an air of triumphant menace to the devil with your witnesses to the devil with your produced to the devil with yourself what do i know what i know for that have i my on sale for that poor you have interrupted my little project let it pass how then what remains little to you nothing to me all produce me is that what you want i will produce myself only too quickly give me pen ink and paper got up again as before and laid them before him in his former manner after some thinking and smiling wrote and read aloud as follows to wait answer prison of the at the apartment of your son dear madam i am in despair to be informed to day by our prisoner here who has had the goodness to employ to seek me living for reasons in retirement that you have had fears for my safety re assure yourself dear madam i am well i am strong and constant with the greatest impatience i should fly to your house but that i foresee it to be possible under the circumstances that you will not yet have quite arranged the little proposition i have had the honor to submit to you i name one week from this day for a last final visit on my part when you will accept it or reject it with its train of consequences i suppress my to embrace you and achieve this interesting business in order that you may have leisure to its details to our perfect mutual satisfaction in the meanwhile it is not too much to propose our prisoner having my housekeeping that my expenses of lodging and nourishment at an hotel shall be paid by you receive dear madam the assurance of my highest and most distinguished consideration a thousand to that dear i kiss the hands of madame p when he had finished this folded it and tossed it with a flourish at s feet you of producing let somebody produce that at its address and produce the answer here said arthur will you take this fellow s letter but s significant finger again expressing that his post was at the door to keep watch over now he had found him with so much trouble and that the duty of his post was to sit on the floor backed up by the door looking at and holding his own ankles once more volunteered his services being accepted suffered the door to open barely wide enough to admit of his himself out and immediately shut it on him touch me with a finger touch me with an epithet question my superiority as i sit here drinking my wine at my pleasure said and i follow the letter and my week s grace you wanted me you have got me how do you like me you know returned with a bitter sense of his helplessness that when i sought you i was not a prisoner little to the devil with you and your prison retorted leisurely as he took from his pocket a case containing the materials for making and employed his hands in folding a few for present use i care for neither of you a light again got up and gave him what he wanted there had been something dreadful in the noiseless skill of his cold white hands with the fingers twisting about and one over an other like could not prevent himself from shuddering inwardly as if he had been looking on at a nest of those creatures pig cried with a noisy cry as if were an italian horse or mule m what the infernal old jail was a respectable one to this there was dignity in the bars and stones of that place it was a prison for men but this a hospital for he smoked his out with his ugly smile so fixed upon his face that he looked as though he were smoking with his drooping of a nose rather than his mouth like a fancy in a weird picture when he had lighted a second at the still burning end of the first he said to one must pass the time in the madman s absence one must talk one can t drink strong wine all day long or i would have another bottle she s handsome sir though not exactly to my taste still by the thunder and the lightning handsome i you on your admiration i neither know nor ask said of whom you speak sir as they say in italy of the the fair of whose husband you were the i think sir you are insolent the friend do you sell all your friends took his from his mouth and eyed him with a momentary revelation of surprise but he put it between his lips again as he answered with coolness i sell anything that commands a price how do your lawyers live your your your men of the exchange how do | 8 |
you live how do you come here have you sold no friend lady of mine i rather think yes turned away from him towards the window and sat looking out at the wall sir said society itself and me and i sell society i perceive you have acquaintance with another lady also handsome a strong spirit let us see how do they call her he received no answer but could easily discern that he had hit the mark yes he went on that handsome lady and strong spirit addresses me in the street and i am not insensible i respond that handsome lady and strong spirit does me the favor to remark in full confidence i have my curiosity and i have my you are not more than ordinarily honorable perhaps i announce myself madam little a gentleman from the birth and a gentleman to the death but not more than ordinarily honorable i despise such a weak thereupon she is pleased to compliment the difference between you and the rest is she answers that you say so for she knows society i accept her congratulations with gallantry and politeness politeness and little are inseparable from my character she then makes a proposition which is in effect that she has seen us much together that it appears to her that i am for the passing time the cat of the house the friend of the family that her curiosity and her awaken the fancy to be acquainted with their movements to know the manner of their life how the fair is beloved how the fair is cherished and so on she is not rich but offers such and such little for the little cares and of such services and i graciously to do everything graciously is a part of my character consent to accept them yes so goes the world it is the mode though s back was turned while he spoke and to the end of the interview he kept those glittering eyes of his that were too near together upon him and evidently saw in the very carriage of the head as he passed with his from to of what he said that he was saying nothing which did not already know the pair he said lighting a third with a sound as if his breath could blow her away charming but for it was not well of the fair to make mysteries of letters from old lovers in her on the mountain that her husband might not see them no no that was not well the was mistaken there i earnestly hope cried arthur aloud that may not be long gone for this man s presence the room aye but he ll here and everywhere said with an look and snap of his fingers he always has he always will stretching his body out on the only three chairs in the room besides that on which sat he sang himself on the breast as the gallant personage of the song who passes by this road so late de la who passes by this road so late always gay sing the refrain pig you could sing it once in another jail sing it or by every saint who was to death i ll be and and then some people who are not dead yet had better have been along with them of all the king s knights tis the flower de la of all the king s knights tis the flower always gay partly in his old habit of submission partly because his not doing it might injure his benefactor and partly because he would as soon do it as anything else took up the refrain this time laughed and fell to smoking with his eyes shut possibly another quarter of an elapsed before mr s little step was heard upon the stairs but the interval seemed to long his step was attended by another step and when opened the door he admitted mr and mr the latter was no sooner visible than rushed at him and embraced him how do you find yourself sir said mr flint as soon as he could himself which he struggled to do with very little ceremony thank you no i don t want any more this was in reference to another menace of affection from his recovered friend well arthur you remember what i said to you about sleeping dogs and missing ones it s come true you see he was as as ever to all appearance and nodded his head in a way as he looked round the room and this is the prison for debt said mr you have brought your pigs to a very indifferent market arthur if arthur had patience had not he took his little with fierce by the two of his coat and cried to the devil with the market to the devil with the pigs and to the devil with the pig driver now give me the answer to my letter if you can make it convenient to let go a moment sir returned mr i ll first hand mr arthur a little note that i have for him he did so it was in his mother s writing on a slip of paper and contained only these words i hope it is enough that you have ruined yourself rest contented without more ruin is my messenger and representative your affectionate m c read this twice in silence and then tore it to pieces in the meanwhile stepped into a chair and sat himself on the back with his feet upon the seat now beau he said w r hen he had closely watched the note to its destruction the answer to my letter mrs did not write it mr her hands being cramped and she thinking it as well to send it by me mr this out of himself unwillingly and she sends her compliments and says she doesn t on | 8 |
and even his sense of taste having forsaken him he had been two or three times conscious in the night of going astray he had heard fragments of tunes and songs in the warm wind which he knew had no existence now that he began to in exhaustion he heard them again and voices seemed to address him and he answered and started and dreaming without the power of reckoning time so that a minute might have been an hour and an hour a minute some abiding impression of a garden stole over him a garden of flowers with a damp warm wind gently stirring their it required such a painful effort to lift his head for the purpose of into this or into anything that the impression appeared to have become quite an old and one when he looked round beside the tea cup on his table he saw then a blooming a wonderful handful of the and most lovely flowers little nothing had ever appeared so beautiful in his sight he took them up and their fragrance and he lifted them to his hot head and he put them down and opened his hands to them as cold hands are opened to receive the cheering of a fire it was not until he had delighted in them for some time that he wondered who had sent them and opened his door to ask the woman who must have put them there how they had come into her hands but she was gone and seemed to have been long gone for the tea she had left for him on the table was cold he tried to drink some but could not bear the of it so he crept back to his chair by the open window and put the flowers on the little round table of old when the first consequent on having moved about had left him he subsided into his former state one of the night tunes was playing in the w r ind w r hen the door of his room seemed to open to a light touch and after a moment s pause a quiet figure seemed to stand there w r ith a black mantle on it it seemed to draw the mantle off and drop it on the ground and then it seemed to be his little in her old worn dress it seemed to tremble and to clasp its hands and to smile and to burst into tears he roused himself and cried out and then he saw in the loving pitying dear face as in a mirror how changed he was and she came towards him and with her hands laid on his breast to keep him in his chair and with her knees upon the floor at his feet and with her lips raised up to kiss him and with her tears dropping on him as the rain from heaven had dropped upon the flow r ers little a living presence called him by his name my best friend dear mr don t let me see you weep unless you w r with pleasure to see me i hope you do your own poor child come back so faithful tender and by fortune in the sound of her voice in the light of her eyes in the touch of her hands so comforting and true as he embraced her she said to him they never told me you were ill and drawing an arm softly round his neck laid his head upon her bosom put a hand upon his head and resting her cheek upon that hand nursed him as lovingly and god knows as innocently as she had nursed her father in that room w r hen she had been but a baby all the care from others that she took of them when he could speak he said is it possible that you have come to me and in this dress i hoped you would like me better in this dress than any other i have always kept it by me to remind me though i wanted no reminding i am not alone you see i have brought an old friend with me looking round he saw in her big cap which had been long abandoned with a basket on her arm as in the days it w r as only yesterday evening that i came to london with my brother i sent round to mrs almost as soon as w r e arrived that i might hear of you and let you know i had come then i heard that you were here did you happen to think of me in the little o night i almost believe you must have thought of me a little i thought of you so anxiously and it appeared so long to morning i have thought of you he hesitated what to call her she perceived it in an instant you have not spoken to me by my right name yet you know what my right name always is with you i have thought of you little every day every hour every minute since i have been here have you have you he saw the bright delight of her face and the flush that kindled in it with a feeling of shame he a broken sick prisoner i was here before the gates were opened but i was afraid to come straight to you i should have done you more harm than good at first for the prison was so familiar and yet so strange and it brought back so many of my poor father and of you too that at first it overpowered me but we went to mr before we came to the gate and he brought us in and got john s room for us my poor old room you know and we waited there a little i brought the flowers to the door but | 8 |
you didn t hear me she looked something more womanly than when she had gone away and the touch of the italian sun was visible upon her face bat otherwise she was quite unchanged the same deep timid earnestness that he had always seen in her and never without emotion he saw still if it had a new meaning that smote him to the heart the change was in his perception not in her she took off her old bonnet hung it in the old place and noiselessly began with s help to make his room as fresh and neat as it could be made and to it with a pleasant smelling water when that was done the basket which was filled with grapes and other fruit was and all its contents were quietly put away when that was done a moment s whisper to somebody else to fill the basket again which soon came back with new stores from which a present provision of drink and and a supply of roast chicken and wine and water were the first these various arrangements completed she took out her old to make him a curtain for his window and thus with a quiet in the room that seemed to itself through the else noisy prison he found himself composed in his chair with little working at his side to see the modest head again bent down over its task and the fingers busy at their old work though she was not so absorbed in it but that her compassionate eyes were often raised to his face and when they drooped again had tears in them to be so consoled and comforted and to believe that all the devotion of this great nature was turned to him in his to pour out its inexhaustible wealth of goodness upon him did not steady s trembling voice or hand or strengthen him in his weakness yet it inspired him with an inward fortitude that rose with his love and how dearly he loved her now what words can tell as they sat side by side in the shadow of the wall the shadow fell little like light upon him she would not let him speak much and he lay back in his chair looking at her now and again she would rise and give him the glass that he might drink or would smooth the of his head then she would gently resume her seat by him and bend over her work again the shadow moved with the sun but she never moved from his side except to wait upon him the sun went down and she was still there she had done her work now and her hand faltering on the arm of his chair since its last tending of him was hesitating there yet he laid his hand upon it and it clasped him with a trembling dear mr i must say something to you before i go i have put it off from hour to hour but i must say it i too dear little i have put off what i must say she nervously moved her hand towards his lips as if to stop him then it dropped trembling into its former place lam not going abroad again my brother is but i am not he was always attached to me and he is so grateful to me now so much too grateful for it is only because i happened to be with him in his illness that he says i shall be free to stay where i like best and to do what i like best he only wishes me to be happy he says there was one bright star shining in the sky she looked up at it while she spoke as if it were the fervent purpose of her own heart shining above her you will understand i dare say without my telling you that my brother has come home to find my dear father s will and to take possession of his property he says if there is a will he is sure i shall be left rich and if there is none that he will make me so he would have spoken but she put up her trembling hand again and he stopped i have no use for money i have no wish for it it would be of no value at all to me but for your sake i could not be rich and you here i must always be much worse than poor with you distressed will you let me lend you all i have will you let me give it you will you let me show you that i never have forgotten that i never can forget your protection of me when this was my home dear mr make me of all the world the happiest by saying yes make me as happy as i can be in leaving you here by saying nothing to night and letting me go away with the hope that you will think of it kindly and that for my sake not for your s for mine for nobody s but mine you will give me the greatest joy i can experience on earth the joy of knowing that i have been serviceable to you and that i have paid some little of the great debt of my affection and gratitude i can t say what i wish to say i can t visit you here where i have lived so long i can t think of you here where i have seen so much and be as calm and comforting as i ought my tears will make their way i cannot keep them back but pray pray pray do not turn from your little now in your affliction pray pray pray i beg you and you with all my heart my friend my dear take all i have | 8 |
said to me john you was always honorable and if you ll promise me that you will take care of him and never let him want for help and comfort when i am not there my mind will be at rest so far i promised her and i ll stand by you said john very for ever much affected stretched out his hand to this honest spirit before i take it said john looking at it without coming from the door guess what message miss gave me shook his head tell him repeated john in a distinct though voice that his little sent him her love now it s delivered have i been honorable sir very very will you tell miss i ve been honorable sir i will indeed there s my hand sir said john and i ll stand by you for ever after a hearty squeeze he disappeared with the same cautious upon the stair crept over the pavement of the yard and the gates behind him passed out into the front where he had left his shoes if the same way had been paved with burning it is not at all improbable that john would have traversed it with the same devotion for the same purpose little chapter xxx closing in the last day of the appointed week touched the bars of the gate black all night since the gate had upon little its iron were turned by the early glowing sun into of gold far across the city over its roofs and through the open of its church towers struck the long bright rays bars of the prison of this lower world throughout the day the old house within the remained by any visitors but when the sun was low three men turned in at the and made for the house was the first and walked by himself smoking mr was the second and close after him looking at no other object mr was the third and carried his hat under his arm for the of his hair the weather being extremely hot they all came together at the door steps you pair of said facing about don t go yet we don t mean to said mr giving him a dark glance in of his answer knocked loudly he had charged himself with drink for the playing out of his game and was impatient to begin he had hardly finished one long knock when he turned to the again and began another that was not yet finished when opened the door and they all into the stone hall thrusting mr aside proceeded straight up stairs his two attendants followed him mr followed them and they all came into mrs s quiet room it was in its usual state except that one of the windows was wide open and sat on its old fashioned window seat mending a the usual articles were on the little table the usual fire was in the grate the bed had its usual pall upon it and the mistress of all sat on her black like sofa propped up by her black that was like the head s block yet there was a nameless air of preparation in the room as if it were strong up for an occasion from what the room derived it every one of its small variety of objects being in the fixed spot it had occupied for years no one could have said without looking attentively at its mistress and that too with a previous knowledge of her face although her black dress was in every precisely as of old and her attitude was rigidly preserved a very slight additional setting of her features and of her gloomy forehead was so powerfully marked that it marked everything about her who are these she said as the two attendants entered what do these people want here p p little who are these dear madame is it returned r they are friends of your son the prisoner and what do they want here is it death madame i don t know you will do well to ask them you know you told us at the door not to go yet said and you know you told me at the door you didn t mean to go retorted in a word madame permit me to present two of the prisoner s but if you wish them to remain here during our little conversation say the word it is nothing to me why should i wish them to remain here said mrs what have i to do with them then dearest madame said throwing himself into an arm chair so heavily that the old room trembled you will do well to dismiss them it is your affair they are not my not my hark you said mrs bending her brows upon him angrily you s clerk attend to your employer s business and your own go and take that other man with you thank you ma am returned mr i am glad to say i see no objection to our both retiring we have done all we undertook to do for mr his constant anxiety has been and it grew worse upon him when he became a prisoner that this agreeable gentleman should be brought back here to the place from which he slipped away here he is brought back and i will say added mr to his ill looking face that in my opinion the world would be no worse for his slipping out of it altogether your opinion is not asked answered mrs go i am sorry not to leave you in better company ma am said and sorry too that mr can t be present it s my fault that is you mean his own she returned no i mean mine ma am said for it was my misfortune to lead him into a mr still clung to that word and never said | 8 |
speculation though i can prove by figures added mr with an anxious countenance that it ought to have been a good i have gone over it since it failed every day of my life and it comes out regarded as a question of figures triumphant the present is not a time or place mr pursued with a longing glance into his hat where he kept his calculations for entering upon the figures but the figures are not to be disputed mr ought to have been at this moment in his carriage and pair and i ought to have been worth from three to five thousand pound mr put his hair erect with a general aspect of confidence that could hardly have been surpassed if he had had the amount in his pocket these figures had been the occupation of every moment of his leisure since he had lost his money and were destined to afford him consolation to the end of his days however said mr enough of that old boy little you have seen the figures and you know how they come out mr who had not the slightest power of himself in this way nodded with a fine display of teeth at whom mr had been looking and to whom he then said oh it s you is it i thought i remembered your face but i wasn t certain till i saw your teeth ah yes to be sure it was this said to mrs who came knocking at the door on the night when arthur and were here and who asked me a whole of questions about mr it is true mr cheerfully admitted and behold him i have found him i shouldn t have objected returned mr to your having broken your neck and now said mr whose eye had often stealthily wandered to the window seat and the that was being mended there i ve only one other word to say before i go if mr was here but unfortunately though he has so far got the better of this fine gentleman as to return him to this place against his will he is ill and in prison ill and in prison poor fellow if he was here said mr taking one step aside towards the window seat and laying his right hand upon the he would say tell your dreams mr held up his right forefinger between his nose and the with a ghostly air of warning turned out and mr after him the house door was heard to close upon them their steps were heard passing over the dull pavement of the echoing and still nobody had added a word mrs and had exchanged a look and had then looked and looked still at who sat mending the with great come said mr at length himself a curve or two in the direction of the window seat and rubbing the palms of his hands on his coat tail as if he were preparing them to do something whatever has to be said among us had better be begun to be said without more loss of time so my woman take yourself away in a moment had thrown the down started up caught hold of the window sill with her right hand lodged herself upon the window seat with her right knee and was flourishing her left hand beating expected off no i won t no i won t no i won t i won t go i ll stay here i ll hear all i don t know and say all i know i will at last if i die for it i will i will i will i will mr with indignation and amazement the fingers of one hand at his lips softly described a circle with them in the palm of the other hand and continued with a menacing grin to screw himself in the direction of his wife gasping some remark as he advanced of which in his choking anger only the words such a dose were audible a bit nearer cried never ceasing to beat r p little the air don t come a bit nearer to me or i ll rouse the neighbourhood i ll throw myself out of window i ll scream fire and murder i ll wake the dead stop where you are or i ll make shrieks enough to wake the dead the determined voice of mrs echoed stop had stopped already it is closing in let her alone do you turn against me after these many years i do if it s turning against you to hear what i don t know and say what i know i have broke out now and i can t go back i am determined to do it i will do it i will i will i will if that s turning against you yes i turn against both of you two clever ones i told arthur when he first come home to stand up against you i told him it was no reason because i was of my life of you that he should be all manner of things have been a going on since then and i won t be run up by nor yet i won t be dazed and scared nor made a party to i don t know what no more i won t i won t i won t i ll up for arthur when he has nothing left and is ill and in prison and can t up for himself i will i will i will i will how do you know you heap of confusion asked mrs sternly that in doing what you are doing now you are even serving arthur i don t know nothing rightly about anything said and if ever you said a true word in your life it s when you call me a heap of confusion | 8 |
for you two clever ones have done your most to make me such you married me whether i liked it or not and you ve led me pretty well ever since such a life of dreaming and as never was known and what do you expect me to be but a heap of confusion you wanted to make me such and i am such but i won t submit no longer no i won t i won t i won t i wont she was still beating the air against all comers after gazing at her in silence mrs turned to you see and hear this foolish creature do you object to such a piece of distraction remaining where she is i madame he replied do i that s a question for you i do not she said gloomily there is little left to choose now it is closing in mr replied by directing a look of red vengeance at his wife and then as if to himself from falling upon her his crossed arms into the breast of his waistcoat and with his chin very near one of his elbows stood in a corner watching in the attitude for his part arose from his chair and seated himself on the table with his legs dangling in this easy attitude he met mrs s set face with his moustache going up and his nose coming down madame i am a gentleman of whom she interrupted in her steady tones i have heard in connection with a french jail and an accusation of murder he kissed his hand to her with his exaggerated gallantry per little exactly of a lady too what absurdity how incredible i had the honor of making a great success then i hope to have the honor of making a great success now i kiss your hands madame i am a gentleman i was going to observe who when he says i will definitely finish this or that affair at this present sitting does definitely finish it i announce to you that we are arrived at our last sitting on our little business you do me the favor to follow and to comprehend she kept her eyes fixed upon him with a frown yes further i am a gentleman to whom mere trade are unknown but to whom money is always acceptable as the means of pursuing his pleasures you do me the favor to follow and to comprehend scarcely necessary to ask one would say yes further i am a gentleman of the and sweetest disposition but who if with becomes enraged noble natures under such circumstances become enraged i possess a noble nature when the lion is awakened that is to say when i the satisfaction of my is as acceptable to me as money you always do me the favor to follow and to comprehend yes she answered somewhat louder thai before do not let me you pray be tranquil i have said we are now arrived at our last sitting allow me to the two we have held it is not necessary death madame he burst out it s my fancy besides it the way the first sitting was limited i had the honor of making your acquaintance of presenting my letter i am a knight of industry at your service madame but my polished manners had won me so much of success as a master of languages among your who are as stiff as their own is to one another but are ever ready to to a foreign gentleman of polished and of observing one or two little things he glanced around the room and smiled about this honorable house to know which was necessary to assure me and to convince me that i had the distinguished pleasure of making the acquaintance of the lady i sought i achieved this i gave my word of honor to our dear that i would return i gracefully departed her face neither nor the same when he paused and when he spoke it as yet showed him always the one attentive frown and the dark revelation before mentioned of her being for the occasion i say gracefully departed because it was graceful to retire without alarming a lady to be morally graceful not less than physically is a part of the character of it was also as leaving you with something overhanging you to expect me again with a little anxiety on a day not named but your slave is by heaven madam let us return on the day not named i have again the honor to render myself at your house i intimate that i have something to sell which if not bought will compromise madame whom i highly esteem i explain myself generally little i demand i think it was a thousand pounds will you correct me thus forced to speak she replied with you demanded as much as a thousand pounds i demand at present two such are the evils of delay but to return once more we are not we differ on that occasion i am playful is a part of my amiable character i become as one slain and hidden for it may alone be worth half the sum to madame to be freed from the suspicions that my droll idea accident and themselves against my and spoil the fruit perhaps who knows only you and when it is just ripe thus madame i am here for the last time listen definitely the last as he struck his straggling boot heels against the of the table meeting her frown with an insolent gaze he began to change his tone for a one stop an instant let us advance by steps here is my hotel note to be paid according to contract five minutes hence we may be at points i ll not leave it till then or you ll cheat me pay it count | 8 |
will express myself throughout it what have i suffered nothing in this room no no imprisonment that i should condescend at last to contemplate myself in such a glass as that can you see him can you hear him if your wife were a hundred times the that she is and if i were a thousand times more hopeless than i am of her to be silent if this man is silenced i would tell it myself before i would bear the torment of hearing it from him pushed his chair a little back pushed his legs out straight before him and sat with his arms folded over against her you do not know what it is she went on addressing him to be brought up strictly and i was so brought up mine was no light youth of sinful gaiety and pleasure mine were days of wholesome punishment and fear the corruption of our hearts the evil of our ways the curse that is upon us the terrors that surround us these were the of my childhood they formed my character and filled me with an of evil when old mr proposed his orphan nephew to my father for my husband my father impressed upon me that his bringing up had been like mine one of severe restraint he told me that besides the discipline his spirit had undergone he had lived in a starved house where and gaiety were unknown and where every day was a day of toil and trial like the last he told me that he had been a man in years long before his uncle had acknowledged him as one and that from his to that hour his uncle s roof had been a to him from the of the and when within a of our marriage i found my husband at that time when my father spoke of him to have against the lord and outraged me by holding a guilty creature in my place was i to doubt that it had been appointed to me to make the discovery and that it was appointed to me to lay the hand of punishment upon that creature of was i to dismiss in a moment not my own wrongs what was i but all the of sin and all the war against it in which i had been bred she laid her hand upon the watch on the table no do not forget the of those words are within here now and were within here then i was appointed to find the old letter that referred to them and that told me what they meant and whose work they were and why they were worked lying with this watch in his secret drawer but for that appointment there would have been no discovery do not forget it spoke to me like a voice from an angry cloud do not forget the deadly sin do not forget the appointed discovery do not forget the appointed suffering i did not little forget was it my own wrong i remembered mine i was but a servant and a minister what power could i have had over them but that they were bound in the bonds of their sin and delivered to me more than forty years had passed over the grey head of this determined woman since the time she recalled more than forty years of strife and struggle with the whisper that by whatever name she called her pride and rage nothing through all eternity could change their nature yet gone those more than forty years and come this now looking her in the face she still by her old still reversed the order of creation and breathed her own breath into a clay image of her creator verily verily travellers have seen many monstrous in many countries but no human eyes have ever seen more daring gross and shocking images of the divine nature than we creatures of the dust make in our own of our own bad passions when i forced him to give her up to me by her name and place of abode she went on in her torrent of indignation and defence when i accused her and she fell hiding her face at my feet was it my injury that i asserted were they my reproaches that i poured upon her those who were appointed of old to go to wicked kings and accuse them were they not ministers and servants and had not i unworthy and far removed from them sin to when she pleaded to me her youth and his wretched and hard life that was her phrase for the virtuous training he had and the ceremony of marriage there had secretly been between them and the terrors of want and shame that had overwhelmed them both when i was first appointed to be the instrument of their punishment and the love for she said the word to me down at my feet in which she had abandoned him and left him to me was it my enemy that became my were they the words of my wrath that made her shrink and quiver not unto me the strength be ascribed not unto me the wringing of the many years had come and gone since she had had the free use even of her fingers but it was noticeable that she had already more than once struck her clenched hand vigorously upon the table and that when she said these words she raised her whole arm in the air as though it had been a common action with her and what was the repentance that was from the hardness of her heart and the blackness of her i and it may seem so to such as you who know no and no appointment except satan s laugh but i will be known as i know myself and as knows me though it is | 8 |
only to you and this half woman add to yourself madame said i have my little suspicions that madame is rather to be justified to herself it is false it is not so i have no need to be she said with great energy and anger truly retorted i ask what was the in works that was demanded of her you have a child i have none you love that child give him he shall believe himself to be my son and he shall be believed by every little one to be my son to save you from exposure his father shall swear never to see or communicate with you more equally to save him from being stripped by his uncle and to save your child from being a beggar you shall swear never to see or communicate with either of them more that done and your present means derived from my husband i charge myself with your support you may with your place of retreat unknown then leave if you please by me the lie that when you passed out of all knowledge but mine you a good name that was all she had to sacrifice her sinful and shameful affections no more she was then free to bear her load of guilt in secret and to break her heart in secret and through such present misery light enough for her i think to purchase her from endless misery if she could if in this i punished her here did i not open to her a way hereafter if she knew herself to be surrounded by vengeance and fires were they mine if i threatened her then and afterwards with the terrors that her did i hold them in my right hand she turned the watch upon the table and opened it and with an face looked at the worked letters within they did not forget it is appointed against such that the shall not be able to forget if the presence of arthur was a daily reproach to his father and if the absence of arthur was a daily agony to his mother that was the just of as well might it be charged upon me that the of an awakened conscience drove her mad and that it was the will of the of all things that she should live so many years i devoted myself to the otherwise and lost boy to give him the reputation of an honest origin to bring him up in fear and trembling and in a life of practical for the sins that were heavy on his head before his entrance into this condemned world was that a cruelty was i too not visited with consequences of the original offence in which i had no arthur s father and i lived no further apart with half the globe between us than when we were together in this house he died and sent this watch back to me with its do not forget i do not forget though i do not read it as he did i read in it that i was appointed to do these things i have so read these three letters since i have had them lying on this table and i did so read them with equal distinctness when they were thousands of miles away as she took the watch case in her hand with that new freedom in the use of her hand of which she showed no consciousness whatever bending her eyes upon it as if she were it to move her cried with a loud and contemptuous snapping of his fingers come madame time runs out come lady of piety it must be you can tell nothing i don t know come to the money stolen or i will death of my soul i have had enough of your other come straight to the stolen money wretch that you are she answered and now her hands clasped her head through what fatal error of flint s through what on his part who was the only other person helping in these things and trusted with them through whose and what bringing little together of the ashes of a burnt paper you have become possessed of that i know no more than how you acquired the rest of your power here u and yet interrupted it is my odd fortune to have by me in a convenient place that i know of that same short little addition to the will of written by a lady and witnessed by the same lady and our old ah old crooked little madame let us go on time presses you or i to finish j she answered with increased determination if it were possible i because i will not endure to be shown myself and have myself shown to any one with your horrible upon me you with your of infamous foreign and would make it the money that impelled me it was not the money i for the moment my politeness and say lies lies lies you know you suppressed the deed and kept the money not for the money s sake wretch she made a struggle as if she were starting up even as if in her vehemence she had almost risen on her feet if reduced to at the point of death and laboring under the delusion of some imaginary towards a girl of whom he had heard that his nephew had once had a fancy for her which he had crushed out of him and that she afterwards drooped away into melancholy and from all who knew her if in that state of weakness he dictated to me whose life she had darkened with her sin and who had been appointed to know her wickedness from her own hand and her own lips a meant as a to her for supposed suffering was there no difference between my that injustice and mere money a thing | 8 |
which you and your comrades in the may steal from any one time presses madame take care if this house was blazing from the roof to the ground she returned i would stay in it to justify myself against my righteous motives being with those of and thieves snapped his fingers in her face one thousand guineas to the little beauty you slowly hunted to death one thousand guineas to the youngest daughter her patron might have at fifty or if he had none brother s youngest daughter on her coming of age as the remembrance his may like best of his protection of a young orphan girl two thousand guineas what you will never come to the money she was vehemently proceeding when he checked her names call him mr no more that was the beginning of it all if he had not been a player of music and had not kept in those days of his youth and prosperity an idle house where singers and players and such like children of evil turned their backs on the light and their faces to the darkness she might have remained in her lowly station and might not have been raised out of it to be cast down but no satan entered into that and him that he was a man of innocent and little tastes who did kind actions and that here was a poor girl with a voice for singing music with then he is to have her taught then arthur s father who has all along been secretly in the ways of virtuous for those accursed which are called the arts becomes acquainted with her and so a orphan training to be a singing girl carries it by that s agency against me and i am and deceived not i that is to say she added quickly as color flushed into her face a greater than i what am i who had been gradually himself towards her and who was now very near her elbow without her knowing it made a specially face of objection when she said these words and moreover his as if such pretensions were equivalent to little in his legs lastly she continued for i am at the end of these things and i will say no more of them and you shall say no more of them and all that remains will be to determine whether the knowledge of them can be kept among us who are here present lastly when i suppressed that paper with the knowledge of arthur s father but not with his consent you know said mr who said with his consent she started to find so near her and drew back her head looking at him with some rising distrust you were often enough between us when he would have had me produce it and i would not to have contradicted me if i had said with his consent i say when i suppressed that paper i made no effort to destroy it but kept it by me here in this house many years the rest of the property being left to arthur s father i could at any time without more than the two sums have made a pretence of finding it but besides that i must have supported such pretence by a direct falsehood a great responsibility i have seen no new reason in all the time i have been tried here to bring it to light it was a of sin the wrong result of a delusion i did what i was appointed to do and i have undergone within these four walls what i was appointed to undergo when the paper was at last destroyed as i thought in my presence she had long been dead and her patron had long been ruined and he had no daughter i had found the niece before then and what i did for her was better for her far than the money of which she would have had no good she added after a moment as though she addressed the watch she herself was innocent and i might not have forgotten to it to her at my death and sat looking at it shall i recall something to you worthy madame said the little paper was in this house on the night when our friend the prisoner jail comrade of my soul came home from foreign countries shall i recall yet something more to you the little singing bird that never was long kept in a cage by a guardian of your well enough known to our old here shall we our old to tell us when he saw him last i ll tell you cried her mouth i dreamed it first of all my dreams if you come a nigh me now i ll scream to be heard at st paul s the person as this man has little spoken of was s own twin brother and he was here in the dead of the night on the night when arthur come home and with his own hands give him this paper along with i don t know what more and he took it away in an iron box help murder save me from wa ah mr had made a at her bnt had him in his arms after a moment s with him gave up and his hands in his pockets what cried him as he and jerked him back with his elbows assault a lady with such a genius for dreaming ha ha ha why she ll be a fortune to you as an all that she dreams comes true ha ha ha you re so like him little so like him as i knew him when i first spoke english for him to the host in the of the three tables in the little street of the high roofs by the wharf at ah but he | 8 |
was a brave boy to drink ah but he was a brave boy to smoke ah but he lived in a sweet bachelor apartment furnished on the fifth floor above the wood and merchant s and the dress makers and the chair makers and the maker of where i knew him too and where with his and tobacco he had twelve sleeps a day and one fit until he had a fit too much and ascended to the skies ha ha ha what does it matter how i took possession of the papers in his iron box perhaps he confided it to my hands for you perhaps it was locked and my curiosity was perhaps i suppressed it ha ha ha what does it matter so that i have it safe we are not particular here hey we are not particular here is it not so madame retiring before him with vicious counter of his own elbows mr had got back into his corner where he now stood with his hands in his pockets taking breath and returning mrs s stare ha ha ha but what s this cried it appears as if you don t know one the other permit me madame who to present who mr one of his hands to scrape his jaw advanced a step or so in that attitude still returning mrs s look and thus her now i know what you mean by opening your eyes so wide at me but you needn t take the trouble because i don t care for it i ve been telling you for how many years that you re one of the most and obstinate of women that s what you are you call yourself humble and sinful but r ou are the most of your sex that s what you are i have told you over and over again when we have had a that you wanted to make everything go down before you but i wouldn t go down before you that you wanted to swallow up everybody alive but i wouldn t be swallowed up alive why didn t you destroy the paper when you first laid hands upon it i advised you to but no it s not your way to take advice you must keep it perhaps may carry it out at some other time as if i didn t know better than that i think i see your pride carrying it out with a chance of being suspected of having kept it by you but that s the way you cheat yourself just little d t as you cheat yourself into making out that you didn t do all this business because you were a woman all slight and spite and power and but because you were a servant and a minister and were appointed to do it who are you that you should be appointed to do it that may be your religion but it s my and to tell you all the truth while i am about it said mr crossing his arms and becoming the express image of i have been these forty years by your taking such high ground even with me who knows better the effect of it being coolly to put me on low ground i admire you very much you are a woman of strong head and great talent but the strongest head and the greatest talent can t a man for forty years without making him sore so i don t care for your present eyes now i am coming to the paper and mark what i say you put it away somewhere and you keep your own counsel where you re an active woman at that time and if you want to get that paper you can get it but mark there comes a time when you are struck into what you are now and then if you want to get that paper you can t get it so it lies long years in its hiding place at last when we are expecting arthur home every day and when any day may bring him home and it s impossible to say what he may make about the house i recommend you five thousand times if you can t get at it to let me get at it that it may be put in the fire but no no one but you knows where it is and that s power and call yourself whatever humble names you will i call you a female in appetite for power on a sunday night arthur comes home he has not been in this room ten minutes when he speaks of his father s watch you know very well that the do not forget at the time when his father sent that watch to you could only mean the rest of the story being then all dead and over do not forget the make arthur s ways have frightened you a bit and the paper shall be burnt after all so before that jumping and mr flint grinned at his wife has got you into bed you at last tell me where you have put the paper among the old in the where arthur himself went the very next morning but it s not to be burnt on a sunday night no you are strict you are we must wait over twelve o clock and get into monday now all this is a of me up alive that me so feeling a little out of temper and not being as strict as yourself i take a look at the document before twelve o clock to refresh my memory as to its appearance fold up one of the many yellow old papers in the like it and afterwards when we have got into monday morning and i have by the light of your lamp to walk from you lying on | 8 |
that bed to this grate make a little exchange like the and burn accordingly my brother the lunatic keeper i wish he had had himself to keep in a strait waistcoat had had many since the close of the long job he got from you but had not done well his wife died not that that was much mine might have died instead and welcome he in he got into difficulty about over a patient to bring him to reason and he got into debt he was going out of little the way on what he had been able to scrape up and a trifle from me he was here that early monday morning waiting for the tide in short he was going to where i am afraid you be shocked at my saying and be damned to him he made the acquaintance of this gentleman he had come a long way and i thought then was only sleepy but i suppose now was drunk when arthur s mother had been under the care of him and his wife she had been always writing incessantly writing mostly letters of confession to you and prayers for forgiveness my brother had handed from time to time lots of these sheets to me i thought i might as well keep them to myself as have them swallowed up alive too so i kept them in a box looking them over when i felt in the humour convinced that it was advisable to get the paper out of the place with arthur coming about it i put it into this same box and i locked the whole up with two locks and i trusted it to my brother to take away and keep till i should write about it i did write about it and got an answer i didn t know what to make of it till this gentleman favoured us with his first visit of course i began to suspect how it was then and i don t want his word for it now to understand how he gets his knowledge from my papers and your paper and my brother s and tobacco talk i wish he d had to himself i have only one thing more to say you hammer headed woman and that is that i haven t altogether made up my mind whether i might or might not have ever given you any trouble about the i think not and that i should have been quite satisfied with knowing i had got the better of you and that i held the power over you in the present state of circumstances i have no more explanation to give you till this time tomorrow night so you may as well said mr his with a screw keep your eyes open at somebody else for it s no use keeping em open at me she slowly withdrew them when he had ceased and dropped her forehead on her hand her other hand pressed hard upon the table and again the curious stir was in her as if she were going to rise this box can never bring elsewhere the price it will bring here this knowledge can never be of the same profit to you sold to any other person as sold to me but i have not the present means of raising the sum you have demanded i have not what will you take now and what at another time and how am i to be assured of your silence my angel replied i have said what i will take and time presses before coming here i placed copies of the most important of these papers in another hand put off the time till the gate shall be shut for the night and it will be too late to treat the prisoner will have read them she put her two hands to her head again uttered a loud exclamation and started to her feet she staggered for a moment as if she would have fallen then stood firm say what you mean say what you mean man before her ghostly figure so long unused to its erect attitude and q q little so in it fell back and dropped his it was to all the three almost as if a dead woman had risen miss answered the little niece of whom i have known across the water is attached to the prisoner miss little niece of watches at this moment over the prisoner who is ill for her i with my own hands left a packet at the prison on my way here with a letter of instructions for his sake she will do anything for his sake to keep it without breaking the seal in case of its being before the hour of shutting up to night if it should not be before the ringing of the prison bell to give it to him and it a second copy for herself which he must give to her what i don t trust myself among you now we have got so far without giving my secret a second life and as to its not bringing me elsewhere the price it will bring here say then madame have you limited and settled the price the little niece will give for his sake to hush it up once more i say time presses the packet not before the ringing of the bell to night you cannot buy i sell then to the little girl once more the stir and struggle in her and she ran to a closet tore the door open took down a hood or shawl and wrapped it over her head who had watched her in terror darted to her in the middle of the room caught hold of her dress and went on her knees to her don t don t don t what are you doing where are you going you re | 8 |
a fearful woman but i don t bear you no ill will i can do poor arthur no good now that i see and you needn t be afraid of me i ll keep your secret don t go out you ll fall dead in the street only promise me that if it s the poor thing that s kept here secretly you me take charge of her and be her nurse only promise me that and never be afraid of me mrs stood still for an instant at the height of her rapid haste saying in stern amazement kept here she has been dead a score of years and more ask ask him they can both tell you that she died when arthur went abroad so much the worse said with a shiver for she haunts the house then who else about it making by dropping dust so softly who else comes and goes and marks the walls with long crooked touches when we are all a bed who else holds the doors sometimes but don t go out don t go out mistress you ll die in the street her mistress only disengaged her dress from the hands said to wait here till i come back and ran out of the room they saw her from the window run wildly through the and out at the for a few moments they stood motionless was the first to move and she wringing her hands pursued her mistress slowly to the door with one hand in a pocket and the other rubbing his chin twisted himself out in his way left alone composed himself upon the window seat of the open window in the old t c little jail attitude he laid his and fire box ready to his hand and fell to smoking almost as dull as the infernal old jail warmer but almost as dismal wait till she comes back yes certainly but where is she gone and how long will she be gone matter my amiable subject you will get your money you will yourself you have lived a gentleman you will die a gentleman you triumph my little boy but it is your character to triumph in the hour of his triumph his moustache went up and his nose came down as he a great beam over his head with particular satisfaction chapter closed the sun had set and the streets were dim in the dusty twilight when the figure so long unused to them hurried on its way in the immediate neighbourhood of the old house it attracted little attention for there were only a few straggling people to notice it but ascending from the river by the crooked ways that led to london bridge and passing into the great main road it became surrounded by a resolute and wild of look rapid of foot and yet weak and uncertain dressed in its black garments and with its hurried head covering gaunt and of an it pressed forward taking no more heed of the throng than a sleep more remarkable by being so removed from the crowd it was among than if it had been lifted on a to be seen the figure attracted all eyes pricked up their attention to observe it busy people crossing it their pace and turned their heads companions pausing and standing aside whispered one another to look at this woman who was coming by and the sweep of the figure as it passed seemed to create a drawing the most idle and most curious after it made giddy by the turbulent of this multitude of staring faces into her cell of years by the sensation of being in the air and the yet more sensation of being by the unexpected changes in half remembered objects and the want of likeness between the pictures her imagination had often drawn of the life from which she was secluded and the overwhelming rush of the reality she held her way as if she were by thoughts rather than by external humanity and observation but having crossed the bridge and gone some distance straight onward she remembered that she must ask for a direction and it was only q q little then when she stopped and turned to look about her for a promising place of that she found herself surrounded by an eager glare of faces u why are you me she asked trembling none of those who were nearest answered but from the outer ring there arose a shrill cry of cause you re mad i am as sane as anyone here i want to find the prison the shrill outer circle again retorted then that ud show you was mad if nothing else did cause it s right opposite a short mild quiet looking young man made his way through to her as a ensued on this reply and said was it the you wanted i m going on duty there come across with me she laid her hand upon his arm and he took her over the way the crowd rather injured by the near prospect of losing her pressing before and behind and on either side and an to after a momentary whirl in the outer the prison door opened and shut upon them in the lodge which seemed by contrast with the outer noise a place of refuge and peace a yellow lamp was already striving with the prison shadows why john said the who had admitted them what is it nothing father only this lady not knowing her way and living by the boys who did you want ma am miss is she here the young man became more interested yes she is here what might your name be mrs mr s mother asked the young man she pressed her lips together and hesitated yes she had better be told it is his mother you see said the young man the s family | 8 |
living in the country at present the has given miss one of the rooms in his house to use when she likes don t you think you had better come up there and let me bring miss she signified her assent and he unlocked a door and conducted her up a side staircase into a dwelling house above he showed her into a darkening room and left her the room looked down into the darkening prison yard with its inmates strolling here and there leaning out of windows as much apart as they could with friends who were going away and generally wearing out their imprisonment as they best might that summer evening the air was heavy and hot the of the place oppressive and from without there arose a rush of free sounds like the memory of such things in a headache and she stood at the window bewildered looking down into this prison as it were out of her own different prison when a soft word or two of surprise made her start and little stood before her is it possible mrs that you are so happily recovered as little d t little stopped for there was neither happiness nor health in the face that turned to her this is not recovery it is not strength i don t know what it is with an agitated wave of her hand she put all that aside you have had a packet left with you which you were to give to arthur if it was not before this place closed to night yes i it little took it from her bosom and gave it into her hand which remained stretched out after receiving it have you any idea of its contents frightened by her being there with that new power of movement in her which as she had said herself was not strength and which was unreal to look upon as though a picture or a statue had been animated little answered no bead them little took the packet from the still outstretched hand and broke the seal mrs then gave her the inner packet that was addressed to herself and held the other the shadow of the wall and of the prison buildings which made the room sombre at noon made it too dark to read there with the dusk deepening save in the window in the window where a little of the bright summer evening sky could shine upon her little stood and read after a broken exclamation or so of wonder and of terror she read in silence when she had finished she looked round and her old mistress bowed herself before her you know now what i have done i think so i am afraid so though my mind is so hurried and so sorry and has so much to pity that it has not been able to follow all i have read said little i will restore to you what i have withheld from you forgive me can you forgive me i can and heaven knows i do do not kiss my dress and kneel to me you are too old to kneel to me i forgive you freely without that i have more to ask yet not in that posture said little it is unnatural to see your grey hair lower than mine pray rise let me help you with that she raised her up and stood rather shrinking from her but looking at her earnestly the great petition that i make to you there is another which grows out of it the great that i address to your merciful and gentle heart is that you will not disclose this to arthur until i am dead if you think when you have had time for consideration that it can do him any good to know it while i am yet alive then tell him but you will not think that and in such case will you promise me to spare me until i am dead i am so sorry and what i have read has so confused my thoughts returned little that i can scarcely give you a steady answer if i should be quite sure that to be acquainted with it will do mr no good little know you are attached to him and will make him the first consideration it is right that he should be the first consideration i ask that but having regarded him and still finding that you may spare me for the little time i shall remain on earth will you do it i will god bless you she stood in the shadow so that she was only a veiled form to little in the light but the sound of her voice in saying those three grateful words was at once fervent and broken broken by emotion as to her frozen eyes as action to her frozen limbs you will wonder perhaps she said in a stronger tone that i can better bear to be known to you whom i have wronged than to the son of my enemy who wronged me for she did wrong me she not only against the lord but she wronged me what arthur s father was to me she made him our marriage day i was his dread and that she made me i was the of both and that is to her you love arthur i can see the blush upon your face may it be the dawn of happier days to both of you and you will have thought already that he is as merciful and kind as you and why do i not trust myself to him as soon as to you have you not thought so ko thought said little can be quite a stranger to my heart that springs out of the knowledge that mr is always to be relied upon for being kind and generous and good i do not doubt it yet arthur is | 8 |
on the shortest notice and turning to his own exclusive account his authority to act for the firm remembering that the clever one had said he would explain himself little t further in four and twenty hours time determined for her part that his taking himself off within that period with all he could get was the final satisfactory sum and substance of his promised explanation hut she held her peace devoutly thankful to be quit of him as it seemed reasonable to conclude that a man who had never been buried could not be the gave him up when their task was done and did not dig down for him into the depths of the earth this was taken in ill part by a great many people who persisted in believing that was lying somewhere among the london nor was their belief much shaken by repeated intelligence which came over in course of time that an old man who wore the tie of his under one ear and who was very well known to be an englishman with the on the quaint banks of the at the and in the drinking shops of under the style and of von chapter going continuing to lie very ill in the and mr no break in the legal sky affording a hope of his mr suffered desperately from self reproaches if it had not been for those figures which proved that arthur instead of in imprisonment ought to be in a carriage and pair and that mr instead of being to his wages ought to have from three to five thousand pounds of his own at his immediate disposal that unhappy would probably have taken to his bed and there have made one of the many obscure persons who turned their faces to the wall and died as a last sacrifice to the late mr s greatness solely supported by his calculations mr led an unhappy and restless life constantly carrying his figures about with him in his hat and not only going over them himself on every possible occasion but every human being he could lay hold of to go over them with him and observe what a clear case it was down in bleeding heart yard there was scarcely an of any note to whom mr had not imparted his demonstration and as figures are catching a kind of broke out in that locality under the influence of which the whole yard was light headed the more restless mr grew in his mind the more impatient he became of the in their later his had assumed an irritable sound which the no ll good likewise mr had on several occasions looked harder at the than was quite with the fact of his not being a painter or a maker in search of the living model however he had in and out of his little back dock according as he was wanted or not wanted in the presence and business had gone on in its customary course bleeding heart yard had been by mr and by mr at the regular seasons mr had taken all the and all the dirt of the business as his share mr had taken all the profits all the ethereal and all the as ms share and in the form of words which that benevolent generally employed on saturday evenings when he his fat alter striking the week s balance everything had been satisfactory to all parties all parties satisfactory sir to all parties the dock of the steam had a leaden roof which in the very hot sunshine may have heated the vessel be that as it may one glowing saturday evening on being hailed by the bottle green ship the instantly came working out of the dock in a highly heated condition mr was the remark you have been you have been sir what do you mean by that was the short the state always a state of calmness and composure was so particularly serene that evening as to be provoking everybody else within the bills of was hot but the was perfectly cool everybody was thirst and the was drinking there was a fragrance of or about him and he had made a drink of golden which shone in a large as if he were drinking the evening sunshine this was bad but not the worst the worst was that with his big blue eyes and his polished head and his long white hair and his bottle green legs stretched out before him in his easy shoes easily crossed at the he had a radiant appearance of having in his extensive benevolence made the drink for the human species while he himself wanted nothing but his own milk of human kindness wherefore mr said what do you mean by that and put his hair up with both hands in a highly manner i mean mr that you must be with the people with the people much with the people sir you don t squeeze them you don t squeeze them your are not up to the mark you must squeeze them sir or our connection will not continue to be as satisfactory as i could wish it to be to all parties all parties don t i squeeze em retorted mr what else am i made for you are made for nothing else mr you are made to do your duty but you don t do y our duty you are paid to squeeze and you must squeeze to pay the so much surprised himself by this brilliant turn after doctor johnson which he had not in the least expected or intended that he laughed aloud and repeated with u t great satisfaction as he his and nodded at his youthful portrait paid to squeeze sir and must squeeze to pay oh said anything more yes sir yes sir something more you will please mr to squeeze the yard again the | 8 |
first thing on monday morning oh said an t that too soon i squeezed it dry to day nonsense sir not near the mark not near the mark oh said watching him as he down a good draught of his mixture anything more yes sir yes sir something more i am not at all pleased mr with my daughter not at all pleased besides calling much too often to inquire for mrs mrs who is not just now in circumstances that are by any means calculated to to be satisfactory to all parties she goes mr unless i am much deceived to inquire for mr in jail in jail he s laid up you know said perhaps it s kind mr she has nothing to do with that nothing to do with that i can t allow it let him pay his debts and come out come out pay his debts and come out although mr s hair was standing up like strong wire he gave it another double handed impulse in the perpendicular direction and smiled at his proprietor in a most hideous manner you will to mention to my daughter mr that i can t allow it can t allow it said the oh said you couldn t mention it yourself no sir no you are paid to mention it the old could not resist the temptation of trying it again and you must mention it to pay mention it to pay oh said anything more yes sir it appears to me mr that you yourself are too often and too much in that direction that direction i recommend you mr to dismiss from your attention both your own losses and other people s losses and to mind your business mind your business mr acknowledged this recommendation with such an abrupt short and loud utterance of the oh that even the moved his blue eyes in something of a hurry to look at him mr with a of corresponding intensity then added anything more not at present sir not at present i am going said the finishing his mixture and rising with an amiable air to take a little stroll little stroll perhaps i shall find you here when i come back if not sir duty duty squeeze squeeze squeeze on monday squeeze on monday mr after another of his hair looked on at the assumption of the broad hat with a momentary appearance of with a sense of injury he was also than at first and breathed harder but he suffered mr to go out without offering any further remark and then took a peep at him over the little green window blinds i thought so he observed i knew where you were bound to little good he then back to his dock put it carefully in order took down his hat looked round the dock said good bye and puffed away on his own account he straight for mrs s end of bleeding heart yard and arrived there at the top of the steps than ever at the top of the steps resisting mrs s invitations to come and sit along with father in happy cottage which to his relief were not so numerous as they would have been on any other night than saturday when the who so gallantly supported the business with everything but money gave their orders freely at the top of the steps mr remained until he beheld the who always entered the yard at the other end slowly advancing beaming and surrounded by then mr descended and bore down upon him with his utmost pressure of steam on the approaching with his usual was surprised to see mr but supposed him to have been stimulated to an immediate squeeze instead of that operation until monday the population of the yard were astonished at the meeting for the two powers had never been seen there together within the memory of the oldest bleeding heart but they were overcome by unutterable amazement when mr going close up to the most venerable of men and halting in front of the bottle green waistcoat made a of his right thumb and forefinger applied the same to the brim of the broad hat and with singular and precision shot it off the polished head as if it had been a large marble having taken this little liberty with the person mr further astounded and attracted the bleeding hearts by saying in an audible voice now you i mean to have it out with you mr and the were instantly the centre of a press all eyes and ears windows were thrown open and were thronged what do you pretend to be said mr what s your moral game what do you go in for benevolence an t it you benevolent here mr apparently without the intention of him but merely to relieve his mind and his superfluous power in wholesome exercise aimed a blow at the head which the head to avoid this singular performance was repeated to the ever increasing admiration of the spectators at the end of every succeeding article of mr s i have discharged myself from your service said that i may tell you what you are you re one of a lot of that are the worst lot of all the lots to be met with speaking as a sufferer by both i don t know that i wouldn t as soon have the lot as your lot you re a driver in disguise a by a and and by substitute you re a you re a shabby the repetition of the performance at this point was received with a burst of laughter ask these good people who s the hard man here they ll tell you i believe little this was confirmed with cries of certainly and hear but i tell you good people this mound of this lump of love this bottle green this is | 8 |
your driver said if you want to see the man who would you alive here he is don t look for him in me at thirty shillings a week but look for him in at i don t know how much a year good cried several voices hear mr hear mr cried that gentleman after repeating the popular performance yes i should think so it s almost time to hear mr mr has come down into the yard to night on purpose that you should hear him is only the works but here s the the audience would have gone over to mr as one man woman and child but for the long grey silken locks and the hat here s the stop said that sets the tune to be ground and there is but one tune and its name is grind grind grind here s the proprietor and here s his why good people when he comes smoothly spinning through the yard to night like a benevolent humming top and when you come about him with your complaints of the you don t know what a cheat the proprietor is hat do you think of his showing himself to night that i may have all the blame on monday what do you think of his having had me over the coals this very evening because i don t squeeze you enough what do you think of my being at the present moment under special orders to squeeze you dry on monday the reply was given in a murmur of shame and shabby shabby yes i should think so the lot that your belongs to is the of all the lots setting their on at a wretched to do what they re ashamed and afraid to do and pretend not to do but what they will have done or give a man no rest imposing on you to give their nothing but blame and to give them nothing but credit why the worst looking cheat in all this town who gets the value of under false an t half such a cheat as this sign post of the s head here cries of that s true and js t o more he an t and see what ou get of these fellows besides said see what more you get of these precious humming tops revolving among you with such that you ve no idea of the pattern painted on em or the little window in em i wish to call your attention to myself for a moment i an t an agreeable style of chap i know that very well the were divided on this point its more members crying no you are not and its materials yes you are i am in general said mr a dry uncomfortable dreary and that s your humble servant there s his length portrait painted by himself and presented to you a likeness but what s a man to be with such a man as this for his little proprietor can be expected of him did anybody ever find boiled mutton and growing in a nut none of the bleeding hearts ever had it was clear from the alacrity of their response well said mr and neither will you find in like myself under like this pleasant qualities i ve been a from a boy has my life been and grind and grind turn the wheel turn the wheel i haven t been agreeable to myself and i haven t been likely to be agreeable to anybody else if i was a shilling a week less useful in ten years time this would give me a shilling a week less if as useful a man could be got at sixpence cheaper he would be taken in my place at sixpence cheaper bargain and sale bless you principles it is a mighty fine sign post is the s head said mr surveying it with anything rather than admiration but the real name of the house is the sham s arms its motto is keep the always at it is any gentleman present said mr breaking off and looking round acquainted with the english grammar bleeding heart yard was shy of claiming that acquaintance it s no matter said mr i merely wish to remark that the task this proprietor has set me has been never to leave off the imperative mood present tense of the to keep always at it keep thou always at it let him keep always at it keep we or do we keep always at it keep ye or do ye or you keep always at it let them keep always at it here is your benevolent of a and there is his golden rule he is improving to look at and i am not at all so he is as sweet as honey and i am as dull as ditch water he the pitch and i handle it and it sticks to me now said mr closing upon his late proprietor again from whom he had withdrawn a little for the better display of him to the yard as i am not accustomed to speak in public and as i have made a father speech all circumstances considered i shall bring my observations to a close by you to get out of this the last of the had been so seized by assault and required so much room to catch an idea in and so much more room to turn it in that he had not a word to offer in reply he appeared to be meditating some way out of his delicate position when mr once more suddenly applying the to his hat shot it off again with his former dexterity on the preceding occasion one or two of the bleeding heart had picked it up and handed it to its owner but mr had now so far impressed his audience that the had to turn and | 8 |
in the was without the precise nature of the documents that had fallen into s hands little had confided the general outline of that story to mr to whom she had also his fate the old cautious habits of the scales and at once showed mr the importance of recovering the original papers r r little wherefore he wrote back to little strongly her in the solicitude she expressed on that head and adding that he would not come over to england without making some attempt to trace them out by this time mr henry had made up his mind that it would be agreeable to him not to know the he was so considerate as to lay no on his wife in that particular but he mentioned to mr that personally they did not appear to him to get on together and that he thought it would be a good thing if politely and without any scene or anything of that sort they agreed that they were the best fellows in the world but were best apart poor mr who was already sensible that he did not advance his daughter s happiness by being constantly in her presence said good henry yon are my pet s husband you have me in the course of nature if you wish it good this arrangement involved the advantage which perhaps henry had not foreseen that both mr and mrs were more liberal than before to their daughter when their communication was only with her and her young child and that his high spirit found itself better provided with money without being under the degrading necessity of knowing whence it came mr at such a period naturally seized an occupation with great he knew from his daughter the various towns which had been haunting and the various hotels at which he had been living for some time back the occupation he set himself was to visit these with all discretion and speed and in the event of finding anywhere that he had left a bill and a box or parcel behind to pay such bill and bring away such box or parcel with no other attendant than mother mr went upon this pilgrimage and encountered a number of adventures not the least of his difficulties was that he never knew what was said to him and that he pursued his inquiries among people who never knew what he said to them still with an confidence that the english tongue was somehow the mother tongue of the whole world only the people were too stupid to know it mr in the most manner entered into loud explanations of the most complicated sort and utterly replies in the native language of the on the ground that they were all sometimes were called in whom mr addressed in such terms of speech as instantly to and shut up which made the matter worse on a balance of the account however it may be doubted whether he lost much for although he found no property he found so many debts and various associations of with the proper name which was the only word he made intelligible that he was almost everywhere overwhelmed with injurious on no fewer than four occasions the police were called in to receive of mr as a knight of industry a good for nothing and a thief all of which language he bore with the best temper having no idea it meant and was in the most manner escorted to and public carriages to be got rid of talking all the while little like a cheerful and as he was with mother under his arm but in his own tongue and in his own head mr was a clear shrewd man when he had worked round as he called it to paris in his pilgrimage and had wholly failed in it so far he was not the nearer to england i follow him you see mother argued mr the nearer i am likely to come to the papers whether they turn up or no because it is only reasonable to conclude that he would deposit them somewhere where they would he safe from people over in england and where they would yet be accessible to himself don t you see at paris mr found a letter from little lying waiting for him in which she mentioned that she had been able to talk for a minute or two with mr about this man who was no more and that when she told mr that his friend mr who was on his way to see him had an interest in something about the man if he could he had asked her to tell mr that he had been known to miss then living in such a street at said mr as soon afterwards as might be in those diligence days mr rang the cracked bell at the cracked gate and it open and the peasant woman stood in the dark doorway saying ice say who in acknowledgment of whose address mr murmured to himself that there was some sense about these people who really did know something of what you and themselves were up to and returned miss my dear he was then shown into the presence of miss it s some time since we met said mr clearing his throat i hope you have been pretty well miss without hoping that he or anybody else had been pretty well miss asked him to what she was indebted for the honor of seeing him again mr in the meanwhile glanced all round the room without observing anything in the shape of a box why the truth is miss said mr in a comfortable managing not to say voice it is possible that you may be able to throw a light upon a little something that is at present dark any unpleasant between us are i hope can t be helped now | 8 |
you recollect my daughter times change so a mother in his innocence mr could not have struck a worse key note he paused for any expression of interest but paused in vain that is not the subject you wished to enter on she said after a cold silence no no returned mr no i thought your good nature might i thought you knew she interrupted with a smile that my good nature is not to be calculated upon don t say so said mr you do yourself an injustice however to come to the point he was sensible of having gained nothing by approaching it in a way i have heard from r r little my friend who you will be sorry to hear has been and still is very ill he paused again and again she was silent that you had some knowledge of one lately killed in london by a violent accident now don t mistake me i know it was a slight knowledge said mr an angry interruption which he saw about to break i am fully aware of that it was a slight knowledge i know but the question is mr s voice here became comfortable again did he on his way to england last time leave a box of papers or a bundle of papers or some papers or other in some or other any papers with you begging you to allow him to leave them here for a short time until he wanted them the question is she repeated whose question is mine said mr and not only mine but s question and other people s question now i am sure continued mr whose heart was overflowing with pet that you can t have any unkind feeling towards my daughter it s impossible well it s her question too being one in which a particular friend of hers is nearly interested so here i am frankly to say that u the question and to ask now did he upon my word she returned i seem to be a mark for everybody who knew anything of a man i once in my life hired and paid and dismissed to aim their questions at now don t remonstrated mr don t don t take offence because it s the question in the world and might be asked of anyone the documents i refer to were not his own were obtained might at some time or other be troublesome to an innocent person to have in keeping and are sought by the people to whom they really belong he passed through going to london and there were reasons why he should not take them with him then why he should wish to be able to put his hand upon them readily and why he should distrust leaving them with people of his own sort did he leave them here i declare if i knew how to avoid giving you offence i would take any pains to do it i put the question personally but there s nothing personal in it i might put it to any one i have put it already to many people did he leave them here did he leave anything here no then unfortunately miss you know nothing about them i know nothing about them i have now answered your unaccountable question he did not leave them here and i know nothing about them there said mr rising i am sorry for it that s over and i hope there is not much harm done well miss well oh yes i have put my foot in it again said mr thus corrected i can t keep my foot out of it here it seems perhaps if i had thought twice about it i might never have given her the name but when one means to be good natured and with little g young people one doesn t think twice her old friend leaves a kind word for her miss if you should think proper to deliver it she said nothing as to that and mr taking his honest face out of the dull room where it shone like a sun took it to the hotel where he had left mrs and where he made the report beaten mother no effects he took it next to the london steam packet which sailed in the night and next to the the faithful john was on duty when father and mother presented themselves at the towards nightfall miss was not there then he said but she had been there in the morning and invariably came in the evening mr was slowly mending and and mrs and mr took care of him by turns miss was sure to come back that evening before the bell rang there was the room the had lent her up stairs in which they could wait for her if they pleased that it might be to arthur to see him without preparation mr accepted the offer and they were left shut up in the room looking down through its barred window into the jail the cramped area of the prison had such an effect on mrs that she began to weep and such an effect on mr that he began to gasp for air he was walking up and down the room panting and making himself worse by laboriously himself with his handkerchief when he turned towards the opening door eh good gracious said mr this is not miss why mother look no other and in s arms was an iron box some two feet square such a box had flint seen in the first of her dreams going out of the old house in the dead of the night under double s arm this put on the ground at her old master s feet this fell on her knees by and beat her hands upon crying half in exultation and half in despair half in laughter and | 8 |
half in tears pardon dear master take me back dear mistress here it is exclaimed mr what you wanted said here it is i was put in the next room not to see you i heard you ask her about it i heard her say she hadn t got it i was there when he left it and i took it at and brought it away here it is why my girl cried mr more breathless than before how did you come over i came in the boat with you i was sitting wrapped up at the other end when you took a coach at the wharf i took another coach and followed you here she never would have given it up after what you had said to her about its being wanted she would sooner have sunk it in the sea or burnt it but here it is the glow and rapture that the girl was in with her here it is she never wanted it to be left i must say that for her but he left it and i know well that after what you said and after her denying it she never would have given it up but here it is dear master little d t dear mistress take me back again and give ine back the dear old name let this for me here it is father and mother never deserved their names better than when they took the girl into their protection again oh i have been so wretched cried weeping much more after that than before always so unhappy and so i was afraid of her from the first time i ever saw her i knew she had got a power over me through understanding what was bad in me so well it was a madness in me and she could raise it whenever she liked i used to think when i got into that state that people were all against me because of my first beginning and the kinder they were to me the worse fault i found in them i made it out that they above me and that they wanted to make me envy them when i know when i even knew then if i would that they never thought of such a thing and my beautiful not so happy as she ought to have been and i gone away from her such a brute and wretch as she must think me but you ll say a word to her for me and ask her to be as as you two are for i am not so bad as i was pleaded lam bad enough but not so bad as i was indeed i have had miss before me all this time as if it was my own self grown ripe turning everything the wrong way and twisting all good into evil i have had her before me all this time finding no pleasure in anything but in keeping me as miserable suspicious and as herself not that she had much to do to do that cried in a burst of distress for i was as bad as bad could be i only mean to say that after what i have gone through i hope i shall never be quite so bad again and that i shall get better by veiy slow degrees i ll try very hard i won t stop at five and twenty sir i ll count five and twenty hundred five and twenty thousand another opening of the door and subsided and little came in and mr with pride and joy produced the box and her gentle face was lighted up with grateful happiness and joy the secret was safe now she could keep her own part of it from him he should never know of her loss in time to come he should know all that was of import to himself but he should never know what concerned her only that was all past all forgiven all forgotten now my dear miss said mr man of business or at least was and i am going to take my measures promptly in that character had i better see arthur to night think not to night i will go to his room and ascertain how he is but i think it will be better not to see him to night i am much of your opinion my dear said mr and therefore i have not been any nearer to him than this dismal room then i shall probably not see him for some little time to come but i ll explain what i mean when you come back she left the room mr looking through the bars of the window saw her pass out of the lodge below him into the he said come to me a moment my good girl little d t she went up to the window you see that young lady who was here just now that little quiet fragile figure passing along there look the people stand out of the way to let her go by the men see the poor shabby fellows pull off their hats to her quite politely and now she in at that doorway see her yes sir i have heard tell that she was once regularly called the child of this place she was born here and lived here many years i can t breathe here a place to be born and bred in yes indeed sir if she had constantly thought of herself and settled with herself that everybody visited this place upon her turned it against her and cast it at her she would have led an irritable and probably an useless existence yet i have heard tell that her young life has been one of active resignation goodness and noble service shall i tell you what i consider those eyes of hers that were here just | 8 |
now to have always looked at to get that expression yes if you please sir duty begin it early and do it well and there is no to it in any origin or station that will tell against us with the almighty or with ourselves they remained at the window mother joining them and pitying the prisoners until she was seen coming back she was soon in the room and recommended that arthur whom she had left calm and composed should not be visited that night good said mr cheerily i have not a doubt that s best i shall trust my then my sweet nurse in your hands and i well know they couldn t be in better i am off again to morrow morning little surprised asked him where my dear said mr i can t live without breathing this place has taken my breath away and i shall never get it back again until arthur is out of this place how is that a reason for going off again to morrow morning you shall understand said mr to night we three will put up at a city hotel to morrow morning mother and will go down to where mrs by dr in the parlor window will think them a couple of ghosts and i shall go abroad again for we must have dan here now i tell you my love it s of no use writing and planning and upon this and that and the other at uncertain intervals and distances we must have here i devote myself at daybreak to morrow morning to bringing here it s nothing to me to go and find him i m an old traveller and all foreign languages and customs are alike to me i never understand anything about any of em therefore i can t be put to any inconvenience go at once i must it stands to reason because i can t live without breathing freely and i can t breathe freely until arthur is out of this i am stifled at the present little t moment and have scarcely breath enough to say this much and to carry this precious box down stairs for you they got into the street as the bell began to ring mr carrying the box little had no conveyance there which rather surprised him he called a coach for her and she got into it and he placed the box beside her when she was seated in her joy and gratitude she kissed his hand i don t like that my dear said mr cl it goes against my feeling of what s right that you should do homage to me at the gate she bent forward and kissed his cheek you remind me of the days said mr suddenly drooping but she s very fond of him and hides his faults and thinks that no one sees them and he certainly is well connected and of a very good family it was the only comfort he had in the loss of his daughter and if he made the most of it who could blame him chapter gone ox a healthy autumn day the prisoner weak but otherwise restored sat listening to a voice that read to him on a healthy autumn day when the golden fields had been and again when the summer fruits had and when the green of had been laid low by the busy when the apples in the were and the of the mountain ash were crimson among the foliage already in the woods glimpses of the hardy winter that was coming were to be caught through among the boughs where the prospect shone defined and clear free from the bloom of the drowsy summer weather which had rested on it as the bloom lies on the so from the sea shore the ocean was no longer to be seen lying asleep in the heat but its thousand sparkling eyes were open and its whole breadth was in joyful animation from the cool sand on the beach to the little sails on the horizon drifting away like autumn tinted leaves that had drifted from the trees and barren looking at all the seasons with its fixed pinched face of poverty and care the prison had not a touch of any of these beauties on it blossom what would its bricks and bars bore uniformly the same dead crop yet listening to the voice as it read to him heard in it all that great nature was doing heard in it all the soothing songs she sings to man at no mother s knee but her s had he ever dwelt in his youth on hopeful promises on playful fancies on the of tenderness and humility that lie hidden in the early seeds of the imagination on the oaks of retreat little from winds that have the of their strong roots in but in the tones of the voice that read to him there were memories of an old feeling of such things and echoes of every merciful and loving whisper that had ever stolen to him in his life when the voice stopped he put his hand over his eyes murmuring that the light was strong upon them little put the book by and presently arose quietly to shade the window sat at her in her old place the light softened little brought her chair closer to his side this will soon be over now dear mr only are mr s letters to you so full of friendship and encouragement but mr says his letters to him are so full of help and that everybody now a little anger i past is so considerate and speaks so well of you that it will soon be over now dear girl dear heart good angel you praise me far too much and yet it is such an exquisite pleasure to me to hear you speak | 8 |
so and to and to see said little raising her eyes to his how deeply you mean it that i cannot say don t he lifted her hand to his lips you have been here many many times when i have not seen you little yes i have been here sometimes when i have not come into the room very often rather often said little timidly every day i think said little after hesitating that i have been here at least twice every day he might have released the little light hand after fervently kissing it again but that with a very gentle lingering where it was it seemed to court being retained he took it in both of his and it lay softly on his breast dear little it is not my imprisonment only that will soon be over this sacrifice of you must be ended we must learn to part again and to take our different ways so wide asunder you have not forgotten what we said together when you came back no i have not forgotten it but something has been you feel quite strong to day don t you quite strong the hand he held crept up a little nearer to his face do you feel quite strong enough to know what a great fortune i have got i shall be very glad to be told fortune can be too great or good for little i have been anxiously waiting to tell you i have been longing and longing to tell you you are sure you will not take it never you are quite sure you will not take half of it never dear little little d t as she looked at him silently there was something in her affectionate face that he did not quite comprehend something that could have broken into tears in a moment and yet that was happy and proud you will be sorry to hear what i have to tell you about poor has lost everything she has nothing left but her husband s all that papa gave her when she married was lost as your money was lost it was in the same hands and it is all gone arthur was more shocked than surprised to hear it i had hoped it might not be so bad he said but i had feared a heavy loss there knowing the between her husband and the yes it is all gone i am very sorry for very very very sorry for poor my poor brother too had he property in the same hands yes and it is all gone how much do you think my own great fortune is as arthur looked at her with a new apprehension on him she withdrew her hand and laid her face down on the spot where it had rested i have nothing in the world i am as poor as when i lived here when papa came over to england he confided everything he had to the same hands and it is all swept away my dearest and best are you quite sure you will not share my fortune with me now locked in his arms held to his heart with his manly tears upon her own cheek she drew the slight hand round his neck and clasped it in its fellow hand never to part my dearest arthur never any more until the last i never was rich before i never was proud before i never was happy before i am rich in being taken by you i am proud in having been resigned by you i am happy in being with you in this prison as i should be happy in coming back to it with you if it should be the will of and comforting and serving you with all my love and truth i am yours anywhere everywhere i love you dearly i would rather pass my life here with you and go out daily working for our bread than i would have the greatest fortune that ever was told and be the greatest lady that ever was honored if poor papa may only know how at last my heart is in this room where he suffered for so many years had of course been staring from the first and had of course been crying her eyes out long before this was now so that after her little mother with all her might she went down stairs like a to find somebody or other to whom to impart her gladness whom should meet but and mr f s aunt coming in and whom else as a consequence of that meeting should little find waiting for herself when a good two or three hours afterwards she went out s eyes were a little red and she seemed rather out of spirits mr f s aunt was so that she had the appearance of being past bending by any means short of powerful mechanical pressure her bonnet was cocked up behind in a terrific manner and her stony little was as rigid as if it had been by the s head and had got it at that moment inside with these imposing attributes mr f s aunt publicly seated on the steps of the s official residence had been for the two or three hours in question a great boon to the younger inhabitants of the whose of humour she had considerably flushed herself by at the point of her umbrella from time to time painfully aware miss i am sure said that to propose an to any place to one so far removed by fortune and so and by the best society must ever appear even if not a pie shop far below your present sphere and a though a civil man but if for the sake of arthur cannot overcome it more improper now than over late and one last remark i might wish to make one | 8 |
last explanation i might wish to offer perhaps your good nature might excuse under pretence of three ones the humble place of conversation this rather obscure speech little returned that she was quite at s disposition accordingly led the way across the road to the pie shop in question mr f s aunt across in the rear and putting herself in the way of being run over with a perseverance worthy of a better cause the three ones which were to be a blind to the conversation were set before them on three little tin each one ornamented with a hole at the top into which the civil man poured hot out of a can as if he were feeding three lamps took out her pocket handkerchief if fancy s fair dreams she began have ever pictured that when arthur cannot overcome it pray excuse me was restored to freedom even a pie as far from as the present and so deficient in as to be in that respect like a might not prove if offered by the hand of true regard such visions have for ever fled and all is but being aware that relations are in contemplation beg to state that i heartily wish well to both and find no fault with either not the least it may be withering to know that ere the hand of time had made me much less slim than formerly and dreadfully red on the slightest exertion particularly after eating i well know when it takes the form of a rash it might have been and was not through the interruption of parents and mental succeeded until the mysterious clue was held by mr f still i would not be to either and i heartily wish well to both little took her hand and thanked her for all her old kindness call it not kindness returned giving her an honest kiss for you always were the best and dearest little thing that ever was if i may take the liberty and even in a money point of view a saving being conscience itself though i must add much more agreeable than mine ever was to me for though not i hope more than other people s yet i have always found it far to make one uncomfortable than comfortable and evidently taking a greater pleasure in doing it but i am wandering one hope i wish to express little ere yet the closing scene draws in and it is that i do trust for the sake of old times and old sincerity that arthur will know that i didn t desert him in his misfortunes but that i came backwards and forwards constantly to ask if i could do anything for him and that i sat in the pie shop where they very fetched something warm in a from the hotel and really very nice hours after hours to keep him company over the way without his knowing it really had tears in her eyes now and they showed her to great advantage over and above which said i earnestly beg you as the dearest thing that ever was if you ll still excuse the familiarity from one who moves in very different circles to let arthur understand that i don t know after all whether it wasn t all nonsense between us though pleasant at the time and trying too and certainly mr f did work a change and the spell being broken nothing could be expected to take place without weaving it afresh which various circumstances have combined to prevent of which perhaps not the least powerful was that it was not to be i am not prepared to say that if it had been agreeable to arthur and had brought itself about naturally in the first instance i should not have been very glad being of a lively disposition and at home where papa undoubtedly is the most of his sex and not improved since having been cut down by the hand of the into something of which i never saw the in all my life but jealousy is not my character nor ill will though many faults without having been able closely to follow mrs through this little understood its purpose and cordially accepted the trust the withered my dear said with great enjoyment is then perished the column is and the is standing down upon its what s his name call it not call it not weakness call it not folly i must now retire into privacy and look upon the ashes of departed joys no more but taking the further liberty of paying for the which has formed the humble pretext of our interview will for ever say adieu mr f s aunt who had eaten her pie with great solemnity and who had been some grievous scheme of injury in her mind since her first assumption of that public position on the s steps took the present opportunity of addressing the following to the of her late nephew bring him for ard and i ll him out o tried in vain to soothe the excellent woman by explaining that they were going home to dinner mr f s aunt persisted in replying bring him for ard and i ll him out o having this demand an immense number of times with a sustained glare of defiance at little mr f s aunt folded her arms and sat down in the corner of the pie shop parlor refusing to until such time as he should have been brought for ard and the portion of his destiny accomplished in this condition of things confided to little that she had not seen mr f s aunt so full of life and character for weeks little that she would find it necessary to remain there hours perhaps until the inexorable old lady could be softened and that she could manage her best alone they parted therefore in | 8 |
the manner and with the kindest feeling on both sides mr f s aunt holding out like a grim fortress and becoming in need of refreshment a messenger was to the hotel for the already glanced at which was afterwards with the aid of its contents a newspaper and some of the cream of the pie stock got through the remainder of the day in perfect good humour though occasionally embarrassed by the consequences of an idle rumour which among the of the neighbourhood to the effect that an old lady had sold herself to the pie shop to be made up and was then sitting in the pie shop parlor declining to complete her contract this attracted so many young persons of both sexes and when the shades of evening began to fall occasioned so much interruption to the business that the merchant became very pressing in his proposals that mr f s aunt should be removed a conveyance was accordingly brought to the door which by the joint efforts of the merchant and this remarkable woman was at last induced to enter though not without even then patting her head out of the window and demanding to have him brought for ard for the purpose originally mentioned as she was observed at this time to direct glances towards the it has been supposed that this admirably consistent female intended by him arthur this however is mere speculation who the person was who for the satisfaction of mr f s aunt s mind ought to have been brought forward and never was brought forward will never be positively known the autumn days t on and little never came to the now and went away without seeing him n o no no one morning as arthur listened for the light feet that every morning ascended winged to his heart bringing the heavenly brightness of a new love into the room where the old love had wrought so hard and been so true one morning as he listened he heard her coming not alone dear arthur said her delighted voice outside the door i have some one here may i bring some one in he had thought from the tread there were two with her he answered yes and she came in with mr and jolly mr looked and he opened his arms and folded arthur in them like a and jolly father now i am all right said mr after a minute or so now it s over arthur my dear fellow confess at once that you expected me before i did said arthur but told me little never any other name it was she who whispered it but my little told me that without asking for any further explanation i was not to expect you until i saw you and now you see me my boy said mr shaking him little by the hand stoutly and now you shall hate any explanation and every explanation the fact is i was here came straight to you from the and or i should be ashamed to look you in the face this day but you were not in company trim at the moment and i had to start off again to catch poor sighed arthur don t call him names that he don t deserve said mr he s not poor he s doing well enough is a wonderful fellow over there i assure you he is making out his case like a house a he has fallen on his legs has dan where they don t want things done and find a man to do em that man s off his legs but where they do want things done and find a man to do em that man s on his legs you won t have occasion to trouble the office any more let me tell you dan has done without em what a load you take from my mind cried arthur what happiness you give me happiness retorted mr don t talk about happiness till you see dan i assure you dan is directing works and labors over yonder that it would make your hair stand on end to look at he s no public bless you now he s and and and crossed and i don t all d like a born nobleman but we mustn t talk about that over here why not oh said mr shaking his head very seriously he must hide all those things under lock and key when he comes over here they won t do over here in that particular is a in the won t give her children such distinctions herself and won t allow them to be seen when they re given by other countries no no dan said mr shaking his head again that won t do here if you had brought me except for s sake twice what i have lost cried arthur you would not have given me the pleasure that you give me in this news why of course of course assented mr of course i know that my good fellow and therefore i come out with it in the first burst now to go back about catching i caught ban against him among a lot of those dirty brown dogs in women s a great deal too big for em calling themselves and all sorts of races you know em well he was coming straight to me and i was going straight to him and so we came back together in england exclaimed arthur there said mr throwing open his arms i am the worst man in the world to manage a thing of this sort i don t know what i should have done if i had been in the line right perhaps the long and the short of it is arthur we have both been in england this fortnight and if you go on to ask where is | 8 |
at the present moment why my plain answer is here he is and now i can breathe again at last little darted in from behind the door caught arthur by both hands and said the rest for himself there are only three branches of my subject my dear said proceeding to mould them with his thumb on the palm of his hand and they re soon disposed of first not a word more from you about the past there was an error in your calculations i know what that is it affects the whole machine and failure is the consequence you will profit by the failure and will avoid it another time i have done a similar thing myself in construction often every failure teaches a man something if he will learn and you are too sensible a man not to learn from this failure so much for secondly i was sorry you should have taken it so heavily to heart and reproached yourself so severely i was travelling home night and day to put matters right with the assistance of our friend when i fell in with our friend as he has informed you we two agreed that after what you had undergone after your distress of mind and after your illness it would be a pleasant surprise if we could so far keep quiet as to get things perfectly arranged without your knowledge and then come and say that all the affairs were smooth that everything was right that the business stood in greater want of you than it ever did and that a new and prosperous career was opened before you and me as partners that s but you know we always make an allowance for and so i have reserved space to close in my dear i thoroughly confide in you you have it in your power to be quite as useful to me as i have or have had it in my power to be useful to you your old place you and wants you very much there is nothing to detain you here one half hour longer there was a silence which was not broken until arthur had stood for some time at the window with his back towards them and until his little wife that was to be had gone to him and stayed by him i made a remark a little while ago said daniel then which i am inclined to think was an one i said there was nothing to detain you here half an hour longer am i mistaken in supposing that you would rather not leave here till to morrow morning do i know without being very wise where you would like to go direct from these walls and from this room you do returned arthur it has been our cherished purpose m very veil said then if this young lady will do me the honor of regarding me for four and twenty hours in the light of a father and will take a ride with me now towards saint paul s churchyard i dare say i know what we want to get there little and he went out together soon afterwards and mr lingered behind to say a word to his friend i think arthur you will not want mother and me in the morning and we will keep away it might set mother thinking about pet she s a soft hearted woman she s best at the cottage and i ll stay there and keep her company with that they parted for the time and the day ended and the night ended and the morning came and little simply dressed little as usual and having no one with her but came into the prison with the sunshine the poor room was a happy room that morning where in the world was there a room so full of quiet joy my dear love said arthur why does light the fire we shall be gone directly i asked her to do it i have taken such an odd fancy i want you to burn something for me what only this folded paper if you will put it in the fire with your own hand just as it is my fancy will be gratified superstitious darling little is it a charm it is any thing you like best my own she answered laughing with glistening eyes and standing on to kiss him if you will only humour me when the fire burns up so they stood before the fire waiting with his arm about her waist and the fire shining as fire in that same place had often shone in little s eyes is it bright enough now said arthur quite bright enough now said little does the charm want any words to be said asked arthur as he held the paper over the flame you can say if you don t mind i love you answered little so he said it and the paper burned away they passed very quietly along the yard for no one was there though many heads were peeping from the windows only one lace familiar of old was in the lodge when they had both it and spoken many kind words little turned back one last time with her hand stretched out saying good bye good john i hope you will live very happy dear then they went up the steps of the neighbouring saint george s church and went up to the altar where daniel was waiting in his paternal character and there little s old friend who had given her the burial register for a pillow full of admiration that she should come back to them to be married after all and they were married with the sun shining on them through the painted figure of our on the window and they went into the very room where little had after her party to sign the marriage register and there mr | 8 |
and mr changes at home mrs casts a damp on our departure my magnificent order at the public house i make myself known to my aunt the momentous interview i return to the doctor s after the somebody turns up my first fall in life we arrive unexpectedly at mr s fireside i make the acquaintance of miss in hovering near us at the dinner party i fall into we are disturbed in our xiv list of plates page i find mr going out with the tide mr and mrs my aunt me mr and his partner wait upon my aunt mr some remarks makes a figure in parliament and i report the wanderer and i in conference with the i am married our housekeeping mr dick my aunt s the river mr s dream comes true f restoration of mutual confidence between mr and mrs my child wife s old companion i am the bearer of evil tidings g the i am shown two interesting a stranger calls to see me page line from bottom of page for bo read from bottom of page make the same from bottom of page make tbe same from top of page make tbe same twenty lines in advance make the same line from bottom of page for read rich u a y o v the personal history and experience of the younger chapter i i am born t i shall turn out to be the hero of my own life or whether that station will be held by anybody else these pages must show to begin my life with the beginning of my life i record that i was born as i have been informed and believe on a friday at twelve o clock at night it was remarked that the clock began to strike and i began to cry simultaneously in consideration of the day and hour of my birth it was declared by the nurse and by some sage women in the neighbourhood who had taken a lively interest in me several months before there was any possibility of our becoming personally acquainted first that i was destined to be unlucky in life and secondly that i was privileged to see ghosts and spirits both these gifts inevitably as they believed to all unlucky of either born towards the small hours on a night i need say nothing here on the first head because nothing can show better than my history whether that was or by the result on the second branch of the question i will only remark that unless i ran through that part of my inheritance while i was still a baby i have not come into it yet but i do not at all complain of having been kept out of this property and if anybody else should be in the present enjoyment of it he is heartily welcome to keep it i was born with a which was advertised for sale in the newspapers at the low price of fifteen guineas whether sea going people were short of money about that time or were short of faith and preferred cork i don t know all i know is that there was but one solitary bidding and that was from an attorney connected with the business who offered two pounds in cash and the balance in b the personal history and experience but declined to be from drowning on any bargain consequently the advertisement was withdrawn at a dead loss for as to my poor dear mother s own was in the market then and ten years afterwards the was put up in a down in our part of the country to fifty members at half a crown a head the to spend five shillings i was present myself and i remember to have felt quite uncomfortable and confused at a part of myself being disposed of in that way the was won i recollect by an old lady with a hand basket who very reluctantly produced from it the five shillings all in and short as it took an immense time and a great waste of to endeavour without any to prove to her it is a fact which will be long remembered as remarkable down there that she was never drowned but died triumphantly in bed at ninety two i have understood that it was to the last her boast that she never had been on the water in her life except upon a bridge and that over her tea to which she was extremely partial she to the last expressed her indignation at the of and others who had the presumption to go about the world it was in vain to represent to her that some tea perhaps included resulted from this objectionable practice she always returned with greater emphasis and with an instinctive knowledge of the strength of her objection let us have no not to myself at present i will go back to my birth i was born at in or thereby as they say in scotland i was a child my father s eyes had closed upon the light of this world six months mine opened on it there is something strange to me even now in the reflection that he never saw me and something stranger yet in the remembrance that i have of my first childish associations with his white grave stone in the churchyard and of the compassion i used to feel for it lying out alone there in the dark night when our little parlor was and bright with fire and candle and the doors of our house were almost it seemed to me sometimes bolted and locked against it an aunt of my father s and consequently a great aunt of mine of whom i shall have more to relate by and by was the principal of our family miss or miss as my poor mother always called her | 8 |
when she sufficiently overcame her dread of this formidable personage to mention her at all which was seldom had been married to a husband younger than herself who was very handsome except in the sense of the homely handsome is that handsome does for he was strongly suspected of having beaten miss and even of having once on a disputed question of supplies made some hasty but determined arrangements to throw her out of a two pair of stairs window these evidences of an of temper induced miss to pay him off and effect a separation by mutual consent he went to india with his capital and there according to a wild legend in our family he was once seen riding on an elephant in company with a but i think it must have been a or a any how from india of david tidings of his death reached home within ten years how they affected my aunt nobody knew for immediately upon the separation she took her maiden name again bought a cottage in a hamlet on the sea coast a long way off established herself there as a single woman with one servant and was understood to live secluded ever afterwards in an retirement my father had once been a favorite of hers i believe but she was by his marriage on the gi that my mother was a wax doll she had never seen my mother but she knew her to be not yet twenty my father and miss never met again he was double my mother s age when he married and of but a delicate constitution he died a year afterwards and as i have said six months before i came into the world this was the state of matters on the afternoon of what may be excused for calling that and important friday i can make no claim therefore to have known at that time how matters stood or to have any remembrance founded on the evidence of my own senses of what follows my mother was sitting by the fire but poorly in health and very low in spirits looking at it through her tears and heavily about herself and the little stranger who was already welcomed by some of prophetic pins in a drawer up stairs to a world not at all excited on the subject of his arrival my mother i say was sitting by the fire that bright windy march afternoon very timid and sad and very doubtful of ever coming alive out of the trial that was before her when lifting her eyes as she dried them to the window opposite she saw a strange lady coming up the garden my mother had a sure at the second glance that it was miss the setting sun was glowing on the strange lady over the garden fence and she came walking up to the door with a fell of figure and composure of countenance that could have belonged to nobody else when she reached the house she gave another proof of her identity my father had often hinted that she seldom conducted herself like any ordinary christian and now instead of ringing the bell she came and in at that identical window pressing the end of her nose against the glass to that extent that my poor dear mother used to say it became perfectly flat and white in a moment she gave my mother such a turn that i have always been convinced i am indebted to for having been born on a friday my mother had left her chair in her agitation and gone behind it in the corner miss looking round the room slowly and began on tlie other side and carried her eyes on like a s head in a dutch clock until they reached my mother then she made a frown and a gesture to my mother like one who was accustomed to be obeyed to come and open the door my mother went mrs david i think said miss the emphasis referring perhaps to my mother s mom weeds and her condition yes said my mother faintly the personal history and miss said the visitor you have heard of i dare say my mother answered she had had that pleasure and she had a disagreeable consciousness of not appearing to imply that it had been an overpowering pleasure now you see her said miss my mother bent her head and begged her to walk in they went into the parlor my mother had come from the fire in the best room on the other side of the passage not being lighted not having been lighted indeed since my father s funeral and when they were both seated and miss said nothing my mother after vainly trying to restrain herself began to cry oh tut tut tut said miss in a hm iy don t do that come come my mother couldn t help it notwithstanding so she cried until she had had her cry out take off your cap child said miss and let me see you my mother was too much afraid of her to refuse compliance with this odd request if she had any disposition to do so therefore she did as she was told and did it with such nervous hands that her hair which was luxuriant and beautiful fell all about her face why bless my heart exclaimed miss you are a very baby my mother was no doubt unusually youthful in appearance even for her years she hung her head as if it were her fault poor thing and said sobbing that indeed she w as afraid she was but a childish widow and would be but a childish mother if she lived in a short pause which ensued she had a fancy that she felt miss touch her hair and that with no hand but looking at her in her timid hope she found that | 8 |
lady sitting with the skirt of her dress tucked up lier hands folded on one knee and her feet upon the frowning at tlie fire in the name of heaven said miss suddenly why do you mean the house ma am asked my mother why said miss would have been more to the pose if you had had any practical ideas of life either of you the name w as mr s choice returned my mother when he bought the house he liked to think that there were about it the evening wind made such a disturbance just now among some tall old elm trees at the bottom of the garden that neither my mother nor miss could forbear glancing that way as the elms bent to one another like giants who were whispering secrets and after a few seconds of such repose fell into a violent tossing their wild arms about as if their late confidences were really too for their peace of mind some weather beaten ragged old nests then higher branches swung like upon a stormy sea where are the birds asked miss op my mother liad been thinking of something else the what has become of them asked miss there have not been any since we have lived here said my mother we thought mr thought it was quite a large but the nests were very old ones and the birds have deserted them a long while david all over cried miss david from head to foot calls a house a when there s not a near it and takes the birds on trust because he sees the nests mr returned my mother is dead and if you dare to speak of him to me my poor dear mother i suppose had some momentary intention of committing an assault and battery upon my aunt who could easily have settled her with one hand even if my mother had been in far better training for such an encounter than she was that evening but it passed with the action of rising from her chair and she sat down again very meekly and fainted when she came to herself or when had restored her whichever it was she found the latter standing at the window the twilight was by this time down into darkness and dimly as they saw each other they could not have done that without the aid of the fire well said miss coming back to her chair as if she had only been taking a casual look at the prospect and when do you expect i am all in a tremble faltered my mother i don t know what s the matter i shall die i am sure no no no said miss have some tea oh dear me dear me do you think it will do me any good cried my mother in a helpless manner of course it will said miss it s nothing but fancy what do you call your girl i don t know that it will be a girl yet ma am said my mother innocently bless the baby exclaimed miss unconsciously quoting the second sentiment of the in the drawer up stairs but applying it to my mother instead of me i don t mean that i mean your servant girl said my mother repeated miss with some indignation do you mean to say child that any human being has gone into a christian church and got herself named it s her said my mother faintly mr called her by it because her christian name was the same as mine here cried miss opening the parlor door tea your mistress is a little don t having issued this with as much as if she had been a recognised authority in the house ever since it had been a house and having looked out to the amazed coming along the passage with a candle at the sound of a strange voice miss shut the personal history and experience tbe door again and sat down as before with her feet on the the skirt of her dress tucked up and her hands folded on one knee you were speaking about its being a girl said i have no doubt it will be a girl i have a that it must be a i ow child from the moment of the birth of this girl perhaps boy my mother took the liberty of putting in i tell you i have a that it must be a girl returned miss don t contradict from the moment of this girl s birth child i intend to be her friend i intend to be her and i beg you ll call her there must be no mistakes in life with there must be no trifling with hei affections poor dear she must be well brought up and w ell guarded from any foolish confidences where they are not deserved i must make that my care there w as a of s head after each of these sentences as if her own old wrongs were w her and she repressed any reference to them by strong so my mother suspected at least as she observed her by the low glimmer of the fire too much scared by miss too uneasy in herself and too subdued and bewildered altogether to observe anything very clearly or to know what to say and was david good to you child asked miss when she had been silent for a little while and these motions of her head had gradually ceased were you comfortable together we were very happy said my mother mr was only too good to me what he spoilt you i suppose returned miss for being quite alone and dependent on myself in this rough world again yes i fear he did indeed sobbed my mother well don t cry said miss you were not equally matched child if any two | 8 |
people can be equally matched and so i asked the question you were an orphan weren t you yes and a i was nursery in a family w here mr came to visit ml was very kind to me and took a great deal of notice of me and paid me a good deal of attention and at last proposed to me and i accepted him and so we were married said my mother simply ha poor baby mused miss with her frown still bent upon the fire do you know anything i beg your pardon ma am faltered my mother about keeping house for instance said miss not much i fear returned my mother not so much as i could wish but mr was teaching me much he knew about it himself said miss in a and i hope i should have improved being very anxious to learn and he very patient to teach if the great misfortune of his death my mother broke down again here and get no farther of david well well said miss i kept my housekeeping book regularly aud balanced it with mr every night cried my mother in another burst of distress and breaking down again well well said miss don t cry any more and i am sure we never had a word of difference respecting it except when mr objected to my and being too much like each other or to my putting curly tails to my resumed my mother in another burst and breaking down again you ll make yourself ill said miss and you know that will not be good either for you or for my god daughter come you mustn t do it this argument had some share in my mother though her increasing perhaps had a larger one there was an interval of silence only broken by miss s occasionally ha as she sat with her feet upon the david had bought an for himself with his money i know said she by and by what did he do for you mr said my mother answering with some difficulty was so considerate and good as to secure the of a part of it to me how much asked miss a hundred and five pounds a year said my mother he might have done worse said my aunt the word was appropriate to the moment my mother was so much worse that coming in with the and candles and seeing at a glance how ill she was as iv might have done sooner if there had been light enough conveyed her up stairs to her own room with all speed and immediately ham her nephew who had been for some days past in the house unknown to my mother as a special messenger in case of emergency to fetch the nurse and doctor those allied powers were considerably astonished when they within a few minutes of each other to find an unknown lady of appearance sitting before the fire with her bonnet tied over her left arm stopping her ears with cotton knowing her and my mother saying nothing about her she was quite a mystery in the parlor and the fact of her having a magazine of cotton in her pocket and sticking the article in her ears in that way did not from the solemnity of her presence the doctor having been up stairs and come down again and having satisfied himself i suppose that there was a probability of this unknown lady and himself having to sit there face to face for some hours laid himself out to be polite and social he was the of his sex the of little men he in and out of a room to take up the less space he walked as softly as the ghost in hamlet and more slowly he carried his head on one side partly in modest of himself partly in modest of everybody else it is nothing to say that he hadn t a word to throw at a dog he couldn t have the personal history and experience thrown a word at a mad dog he might have offered him one gently or half a one or a fragment of one for he spoke as slowly as he walked but he wouldn t have been rude to him and he couldn t have been quick with him for any earthly consideration mr looking mildly at my aunt with his head on one side and making her a little bow said in allusion to the cotton as he softly touched his left ear some local irritation ma am what replied my aunt pulling the cotton out of one ear like a cork mr was so alarmed by her as he told my mother afterwards that it was a mercy he didn t lose his presence of mind but he repeated sweetly some local irritation ma am nonsense replied my aunt and herself again at one blow mr could do nothing after this but sit and look at her feebly as she sat and looked at the fire until he was called up stairs again after some quarter of an hour s absence he returned well said my aunt taking the cotton out of the ear nearest to him well ma am returned mr we are we are slowly ma am ba a ah said my aunt with a perfect shake on the contemptuous and herself as before really as mr told my mother he was almost shocked speaking in a professional point of view alone he was almost shocked but he sat and looked at her notwithstanding for nearly two hours as she sat looking at the fire until he was again called out after another absence he again ned well said my aunt taking out the cotton on that side again well ma am returned mr we are | 8 |
we are slowly ma am a ah said my aunt with such a at him that mr absolutely could not bear it it was really calculated to break his spirit he said afterwards he preferred to go and sit upon the stairs in the dark and a strong draught until he was again sent for ham who went to the national school and was a veiy at his and who may therefore be regarded as a witness reported next day that happening to peep in at the parlor door an hour after this he was instantly by miss then walking to and fro in a state of agitation and upon before he could make his escape that there were now occasional sounds of feet and voices overhead which he inferred the cotton did not from the circumstance of his evidently being clutched by the lady as a victim on whom to her agitation when the sounds were that marching him constantly up and down by the collar as if he had been taking too much she at those times shook him his hair made light of his linen stopped ms ears as if she confounded them of david with her own and otherwise and him this was in part confirmed by liis aunt who saw him at half past twelve o clock soon after his release and affirmed that he was then as red as i was the mild mr could not possibly bear malice at such a time if at any time he into the parlor as soon as he was at liberty and said to my aunt in his manner well ma am i am happy to congratulate you what upon said my aunt sharply mr was fluttered again by the extreme severity of my aunt s manner so he made her a uttle bow and gave her a little smile to her mercy on the man what s he doing cried my aunt impatiently can the speak be calm my dear ma am said mr in his accents there is no longer any occasion for uneasiness ma am be calm it has since been considered almost a miracle that my aunt didn t shake him and shake what he had to say out of him she only shook her own head at him but in a way that made him well ma am resumed mr as soon as he had courage i am happy to congratulate you all is now over ma am and well over during the five minutes or so that mr devoted to the deliver of this my aunt eyed him narrowly how is she said my aunt folding her arms with her bonnet still tied on one of them well ma am she will soon be quite comfortable i hope returned mr q as comfortable as we can expect a young mother to be under these melancholy domestic circumstances there cannot be any objection to your seeing her presently ma am it may do her good and she how is said my aunt sharply mr laid his head a little more on one side and looked at my aunt like an amiable bird the baby said my aunt how is she ma am returned mr i apprehended you had known it s a boy my aunt said never a word but took her bonnet by the strings in the manner of a aimed a blow at mr s head with it put it on bent walked out and never came back she vanished like a discontented fairy or like one of those supernatural beings whom it was supposed i was entitled to see and never came back any more no i lay in my basket and my mother lay in her bed but was for ever in the land of dreams and shadows the tremendous region whence i had so lately travelled and the light upon the window of our room shone out upon the earthly of all such travellers and the mound above the ashes and the dust that once was he without whom i had never been the personal history and experience ii i observe the first objects that assume a distinct presence before me as i look far back into the blank of my infancy are my mother with her pretty hair and youthful shape and with no shape at all and eyes so dark that they seemed to their whole neighbourhood in her face and cheeks and arms so hard and red that i wondered the ds didn t her in preference to apples i believe i can remember these two at a little distance apart to my sight by stooping down or kneeling on the floor and i going from the one to the other i have an impression on my mind which i cannot distinguish from actual remembrance of the touch of s fore finger as she used to hold it out to me and of its being by like a pocket this may be fancy though i think the memory of most of us can go farther back into such times than many of us suppose just as i the power of observation in numbers of very young children to be quite wonderful for its and accuracy indeed i think that most grown men who are remarkable in this respect may with greater propriety be said not to have lost the faculty than to have acquired it the rather as i generally observe such men to retain a certain freshness and gentleness and capacity of being pleased which are also an inheritance they have preserved from their childhood i might have a that i am in stopping to say this but that it brings me to remark that i build these conclusions in part upon my own experience of myself and if it should appear from anything i may set down in this narrative that i was a child of close observation or | 8 |
that as a man i have a strong memory of my childhood i undoubtedly lay claim to both of these characteristics looking back as i was saying into the blank of my infancy the first objects i can remember as standing out by themselves from a confusion of things are my mother and what else do i remember let me see there comes out of the cloud our house not new to me but quite familiar in its earliest remembrance on the gi floor is s kitchen opening into a back yard with a pigeon house on a pole in the centre without any in it a great dog in a corner without any dog and a quantity of fowls that look terribly tall to me walking about in a menacing and ferocious manner there is one cock who gets upon a post to crow and seems to take particular notice of me as i look at him through the kitchen window who makes me shiver he is so fierce of the outside the side gate who come after me with their long necks stretched out when i go that way i dream at night as a man by wild beasts might dream of lions of david here is a long passage what an enormous perspective make of it leading from s kitchen to the front door a dark store room opens out of it and that is a place to be run past at night for i don t know what may be among those and and old tea when there is nobody in there with a dimly burning light letting a air come out at the door in which there is the smell of soap candles and coffee all at one then there are the two the parlor in which we sit of an evening my mother and i and for is quite our companion when her work is done and we are alone and the best parlor where we sit on a sunday but not so comfortably there is something of a air about that room to me for has told me i don t know when but apparently ages go about my father s funeral and the company having their black put on one sunday night my mother reads to and me in there how was raised up from the dead and i am so frightened that they are afterwards obliged to take me out of bed and me the quiet churchyard out of the bedroom window with the dead all lying in their graves at rest below the solemn moon there is nothing half so green that i know anywhere as the grass of that churchyard nothing half so shady as its trees nothing half so quiet as its the sheep are feeding there when i kneel up early in the morning in my little bed in a closet within my mother s room to look out at it and i see the red light shining on the sun dial and think within myself is the sun dial glad i wonder that it can tell the time again here is our in the church what a high backed with a window near it out of which our house can be seen and is seen many times during the morning s service by who to make herself as sure as she can that it s not being robbed or is not in flames though s eye she is much offended if mine does and to me as i stand upon the seat that i am to look at the clergyman but i can t always look at him i know him without that white thing on and i am afraid of his wondering why i stare so and perhaps stopping the service to and what am i to do it s a dreadful thing to but i must do something i look at my mother but she not to see me i look at a boy in the aisle and he makes faces at me i look at the sunlight coming in at the open door through the porch and there i see a stray sheep i don t mean a sinner but mutton half making up his mind to come into the church i feel that if i looked at him any longer i might be tempted to say something out loud and what would become of me then i look up at the on the wall and try to think of ml late of this parish and what the feelings of mrs must have been when affliction sore long time mr bore and were in vain i wonder whether they called in mr and he was in vain and if so how he likes to be reminded of it once a week i look from in his sunday to the pulpit and think what a good place it would be to play in and what a castle it would make with another boy coming up the stairs to attack it and the personal history and experience having the velvet cushion with the thrown down on his head in time my eyes gradually shut up and from seeming to hear the clergyman singing a drowsy song in the heat i hear nothing until i fall off the seat with a crash and am taken out more dead than alive by and now i see the outside of our house with the standing open to let in the sweet smelling air and the ragged old nests still dangling in the elm trees at the bottom of the front garden now i am in the garden at the back beyond the yard where the empty pigeon house and dog are a very preserve of as i remember it with a high fence and a gate and where the fruit clusters on the trees and richer | 8 |
somehow i didn t like him or his deep voice and i was jealous that his hand should touch my mother s in touching me which it did i put it away as well as i could oh remonstrated my mother dear boy said the gentleman i cannot wonder at his devotion i never saw such a beautiful color on my mother s face before she gently me for being rude and keeping me close to her shawl turned to thank the gentleman for taking so much trouble as to bring her home she put out her hand to him as she spoke and as he met it with his own she glanced i thought at me let us say good night my fine boy said the gentleman when he had bent his head saw him over my mother s little glove said i come let us be the best friends in the world said the gentleman laughing shake hands my right hand was in my mother s left so i gave him the other why that s the wrong hand laughed the gentleman my mother drew my right hand forward but i was resolved for my former reason not to give it him and i did not i gave him the other and he shook it heartily and said i was a brave fellow and went away at this minute i see him turn round in the garden and give us a last look with his ill black eyes before the door was shut who had not said a word or moved a finger ed the instantly and we all went into the parlor my mother contrary to her usual habit instead of coming to the elbow chair by the fire remained at the other end of the room and sat singing to herself hope you have had a pleasant evening ma am said standing as as a barrel in the centre of the room with a in her hand much obliged to you returned my mother in a cheerful voice i have had a pleasant evening a stranger or so makes an agreeable change suggested a very agreeable change indeed returned my mother continuing to stand motionless in the middle of the room and my mother her singing i fell asleep though i was not so sound asleep but that i could hear voices without hearing what they said when i half awoke from this uncomfortable dose i found and my mother both in tears and both talking not such a one as this mr wouldn t have liked said that i say and that i swear good heavens cried my mother you drive me mad was ever any poor girl so ill used by her servants as i am why do i do myself the injustice of calling myself a girl have i never been married of david god knows you have ma am ned then how can you dare said my mother you know i don t mean how can you dare but how can you have the heart to make me so uncomfortable and say such bitter things to me when you are well aware that i haven t out of this place a single friend to turn to the more s the reason returned for saying that it won t do no that it won t do no no price could make it do no i thought would have thrown the away she was so emphatic with it how can you be so said my mother shedding more tears than before as to talk in such an unjust manner how can you go on as if it was all settled and arranged when i tell you over and over again you cruel thing that beyond the commonest nothing has passed you talk of what am i to do if people are so silly as to indulge the sentiment is it my fault what am i to do i ask you would you wish me to my head and black my face or e myself with a burn or a or something of that sort i dare say you would i dare say you d quite enjoy it seemed to take this very much to heart i thought and my dear boy cried my mother coming to the elbow chair in which i was and caressing me my own little is it to be hinted to me that i am wanting in for my precious treasure the dearest little fellow that ever was nobody never went and hinted no such a thing said you did returned my mother you know you did what else was it possible to infer from what you said you unkind creature when you know as well as i do that on his account only last quarter i wouldn t buy myself a new though that old green one is the whole way up and the is perfectly you know it is you can t deny it then turning to me with her cheek against mine am i a naughty to you am i a nasty cruel selfish bad say i am my child say yes dear boy and will love you and s love is a great deal better than mine love you at all do i at this we all fell a crying together i think i was the of the party but i am sure we were all sincere about it i was quite myself and am afraid that in the first of wounded tenderness i called a beast that honest creature was in deep affliction i remember and must have become quite on the occasion for a uttle of those went ofl when after having made it up with my mother she by the and made it up with me we went to bed gi dejected my sobs kept waking me for a long time and when one very strong | 8 |
was only of for at first i really thought it was i there seemed to be very in the reputation of mr of for both the gentlemen laughed heartily when he was mentioned and mi was a good deal amused also after some laughing the gentleman whom he had called said and what is the opinion of of in reference to the projected business why i don t know that understands much about it at present replied mr mm but he is not generally favourable i believe there was more laughter at this and mr said he would ring the bell for some in which to drink to this he did and when the wine came he made me have a little with a and before i drank it stand up and say confusion to of c the personal history and experience the toast was received with great applause and such hearty laughter that it made me laugh too at which they laughed the more in short we quite enjoyed ourselves we walked about on the after that and sat on the grass and looked at things through a i could make out nothing myself when it was put to my eye but i pretended i could and then we came back to the hotel to an early dinner all the time we were out the two gentlemen smoked incessantly which i thought if i might judge from the smell of their rough coats they must have been doing ever since the first come home from the tailor s i must not forget that we went on board the where they all three descended into the cabin and were busy with some papers i saw them quite hard at work when i looked down through the open they left me during this time with a very nice man with a very large head of red hair and a very small shiny hat upon it who had got a cross shirt or waistcoat on with in capital letters the chest i thought it was his name and that as he lived on board ship and hadn t a street door to put his name on he put it there instead but when i called him mr he said it meant the vessel i observed all day that mr was graver and than the two gentlemen they were very gay and careless they freely with one another but seldom with him it appeared to me that he was more clever and cold than they were and that they regarded him with something of my own feeling i remarked that once or twice when mr was talking he looked at mr sideways as if to make sure of his not being displeased and that once when mr the other gentleman was in spirits he trod upon his foot and gave him a secret caution with his eyes to observe mr who was sitting stern and silent nor do i recollect that mr laughed at all that day except at the joke and that by the by was his own we went home early in the evening it was a very fine evening and my mother and he had another stroll by the sweet while i was sent in to get my tea when he was gone my mother asked me all about the day i had had and what they had said and done i mentioned what they had said about her and she laughed and told me they were impudent fellows who talked nonsense but i knew it pleased her i knew it quite as well as i know it now i took the opportunity of asking if she was at all acquainted with mr of but she answered no only she supposed he must be a in the knife and fork way can i say of her face altered as i have reason to remember it perished as i know it is that it is gone when here it comes before me at this instant as distinct as any face that i may choose to look on in a crowded street can i say of her innocent and girlish beauty that it faded and was no more when its breath falls on my cheek now as it fell that night can i say she ever changed when my remembrance brings her back to life thus only and truer to its loving youth than i have been or man ever is still holds fast what it cherished then op david i write of her just as she was i had p one to bed after this talk and she came to bid me good night she down by the side of the bed and her chin upon her hands and laughing said what was it they said tell me again i can t it i began my mother put her hands upon her lips to stop me it was never she said laughing it never could have been now i know it wasn t yes it was mi s i repeated stoutly and pretty no no it was never pretty not pretty interposed my mother laying her fingers on my lips again yes it was pretty little widow what foolish impudent creatures cried my mother laughing and covering her face what ridiculous men an t they dear well ma don t tell she might be with them i am dreadfully with them myself but i would rather didn t know i promised of course and we kissed one another over and over again and i soon fell fast asleep it seems to me at this distance of time as if it were the next day when the striking and adventurous proposition i am about to mention but it was probably about two months afterwards we were sitting as before one evening when my mother was out as before in company with the and the yard | 8 |
measure and the bit of wax and the box with saint paul s on the and the book when after looking at me several times and opening her mouth as if she were going to speak without doing it which i thought was merely gaping or i should have been rather alarmed said master how should you like to go along with me and spend a fortnight at my brother s at wouldn t be a treat is brother an agreeable man i oh what an agreeable man he is cried holding up her hands then there s the sea and the boats and ships and the and the beach and am to play with meant her nephew ham mentioned in my first chapter she spoke of him as a morsel of english grammar i was flushed by her summary of delights and replied that it would indeed be a treat but what would my mother say why then i ll as good as bet a guinea said intent upon my face that she let us go i ask her if you like as soon as ever she comes home there now but what s she to do while we re away said i putting my small elbows on the table to argue the point she can t live by herself if were looking for a hole au of a sudden in the heel of that it must have been a very little one indeed and not worth c the personal history and experience i say she can t live by herself you know oh bless you said looking at me again at last don t you know she s going to stay for a fortnight with mrs mrs s going to have a lot of company oh if that was it i was quite ready to go i waited in the utmost impatience until my mother came home from mrs s for it was that identical neighbour to ascertain if we could get leave to carry out this great idea without being nearly so much surprised as i had expected my mother entered into it readily and it was all arranged that night and my board and lodging during the visit were to be paid for the day soon came for our going it was such an early day that it came soon even to me who was in a fever of expectation and half afraid that an earthquake or a fiery mountain or some other great of nature might to stop the expedition we were to go in a s cart which departed in the morning after breakfast i would have given any money to have been allowed to wrap myself up over night and sleep in my hat and boots it touches me nearly now although i tell it lightly to recollect how eager i was to leave my happy home to think how little i suspected what i did leave for ever i am glad to recollect that when the s cart was at the gate and my mother stood there kissing me a grateful fondness for her and for the old place i had never turned my back upon before made me cry i am glad to know that my mother cried too and that i felt her heart beat against mine i am glad to recollect that when the began to move my mother ran out at the gate and called to him to stop that she might kiss me once more i am glad to dwell upon the earnestness and love with which she lifted up her face to mine and did so as we left her standing in the road mr came up to where she was and seemed to with her for being so moved i was looking back round the of the cart and wondered what business it was of his who was also looking back on the other side seemed anything but satisfied as the face she back into the cart i sat looking at for some time in a reverie on this case whether if she were employed to lose me like the boy in the fairy tale i should be able to track my way home again by the buttons she would shed of david in i have a change the s horse was the horse in the world i should hope and along with his head down as if he liked to keep the people waiting to whom the were directed i fancied indeed that he sometimes chuckled audibly over this reflection but the said he was only troubled with a cough the had a way of keeping his head down like his horse and of drooping forward as he drove with one of his arms on each of his knees i say drove but it struck me that the cart would have gone to quite as well without him for the horse did all that and as to he had no idea of it but whistling had a basket of on her knee which would have lasted us out handsomely if we had been going to london by the same conveyance we ate a good deal and slept a good deal always went to sleep with her chin upon the handle of the basket her hold of which never relaxed and i could not have believed unless i had heard her do it that one woman could have so much we made so many up and down lanes and were such a long time delivering a at a public house and calling at other places that i was quite tired and very glad when we saw it looked rather and i thought as i carried my eye over the great dull waste that lay across the river and i could not help wondering if the world were really as round as my said how any part of it came to be so | 8 |
flat but i reflected that might be situated at one of the poles which would account for it as we drew a little nearer and saw the whole adjacent prospect lying a straight low line under the sky i hinted to that a mound or so might have improved it and also that if the land had been a little more separated from the sea and the town and the tide had not been quite so much mixed up like toast and water it would have been but said with greater emphasis than usual that we must take things as we found them and that for her part she was proud to call herself a when we got into the street which was strange enough to me and smelt the fish and pitch and and tar and saw the sailors walking about and the carts up and down over the stones i felt that i had done so busy a place an injustice and said as much to who heard my expressions of delight with great complacency and told me it was well known i suppose to those who had the good fortune the personal history and experience to be bom that was upon the whole the finest place in the universe here s my am screamed out of knowledge he was waiting for us in fact at the house and asked me how i found myself like an old acquaintance i did not feel at first that i knew him as well as he knew me because he had never come to house since the night i was born and naturally he had the advantage of me but our intimacy was much advanced by his taking me on his back to carry me home he was now a huge strong of six feet high broad in proportion and round shouldered but with a boy s face and curly light air that gave him quite a look he was dressed in a jacket and a pair of such very stiff trousers that they would have stood quite as weu alone without any legs in them and you couldn t so properly have said he wore a hat as that he was covered in a top like an old with something ham carrying me on his back and a small box of ours under his arm and another small box of ours we turned down lanes with bits of and little of sand and went past gas works rope walks boat yards yards ship yards yards and a great litter of such places until we came out upon the dull waste i had already seen at a distance when ham said ton s our house r i looked in all directions as far as i could stare over the wilderness and away at the sea and away at the river but no house could make out there was a black or some other kind of boat not far off high and on the ground with an iron sticking out of it for a chimney and smoking veiy but nothing else in the way of a habitation that was visible to me that s not it said i that ship looking thing that s it r returned ham if it had been s palace s egg and all i suppose i could not have been more charmed with the romantic idea of living in it there was a delightful door cut in the side and it was in and there were little windows in it but the wonderful charm of it was that it was a real boat which had no doubt been upon the water hundreds of times and which had never been intended to be lived in on dry land that was the of it to me if it had ever been meant to be lived in i might have thought it small or inconvenient or lonely but never having been designed for any such use it became a perfect abode it was beautifully clean inside and as tidy as possible there was a table and a dutch clock and a chest of drawers and on the chest of drawers there was a tea tray with a painting on it of a lady with a taking a walk with a military looking child who was a the tray was kept from down by a bible and the tray if it had tumbled down would have smashed a quantity of cups and and a that were around the book on the walls of david s there were some common colored pictures framed and glazed of scripture subjects such as i have never seen since in the hands of without seeing the whole interior of s brother s house again at one view in red going to sacrifice in blue and daniel in yellow cast into a den of green lions were the most prominent of these over the little mantel shelf was a picture of the jane built at with a real little wooden stem stuck on to it a work of art composition with which i considered to be one of the most possessions that the world could afford there were some hooks in the beams of the ceiling the use of which i did not divine then and some and boxes and of that sort which served for seats and out the chairs all this i saw in the first glance after i crossed the according to my theory and then opened a httle door and showed me my bedroom it was the and most desirable bedroom ever seen in the stern of the vessel with a little window where the used to go through a little looking glass just the right height for me nailed against the wall and framed with shells a little bed which there was just room enough to get into and a of in a blue on the table the walls were | 8 |
as w as milk and the made my eyes quite ache with its brightness one thing i noticed in this house was the of fish w hich was so searching that when i took out my pocket handkerchief to wipe my nose i found it smelt exactly as if it had wrapped up a on my this discovery in confidence to she informed me that her brother dealt in and and i afterwards found that a heap of these creatures in a state of wonderful with one another and never leaving off whatever they laid hold of were usually to be found in a little wooden where the pots and were kept we were welcomed by a very civil woman in a white apron whom i had seen at the door when i was on ham s back about a quarter of a mile off likewise by a most beautiful little girl or i thought her so with a of blue beads on who wouldn t let me kiss her when i offered to but ran away and hid herself by and by when w e had dined in a manner off boiled melted butter and potatoes with a chop for me a hairy man with a very good natured face came home as he called and gave her a hearty on the cheek i had no doubt from the general propriety of her conduct that he was her brother and so he turned out being presently introduced to me as mr the master of the house glad to see you said mr you ll find us rough sir but you find us ready i thanked him and replied that i was sure i should be happy in such a delightful place how s your ma sir said mr did you leave her pretty the personal and i gave to understand that she was as jolly as i could wish and that she ed her compliments which was a polite fiction on my part i m much to her i m sure said mr well sir if you can make out here fur a long wi her nodding at his sister and ham and little em ly we shall be proud of your company having done the honors of his house in this hospitable manner went out to wash himself in a of hot water remarking that cold would never get off he soon returned greatly improved in appearance but so that i couldn t help thinking his face had this in common with the and that it went into the hot water very black and came out very red after tea when the door was shut and all was made snug the nights being cold and misty now it seemed to me the most delicious retreat that the imagination of man could conceive to hear the wind getting up out at sea to know that the fog was creeping over the desolate flat outside and to look at the fire and think that there was no house near but this one and this one a boat was like enchantment little em ly had overcome her shyness and was sitting by my side upon the lowest and least of the which was just large enough for us two and just fitted into the chimney corner mrs with the white apron was knitting on the opposite side of the fire at her needle work was as much at home with saint paul s and the bit of wax candle as if they had never known any other roof ham who had been giving me my first lesson in all was trying to recollect a scheme of telling fortunes with the dirty cards and was ofl impressions of his thumb on all the cards he turned mr was smoking his pipe i felt it was a time for conversation and confidence mr says i sir says he did you give your son the name of ham because you lived in a sort mr seemed to think it a deep idea but answered no sir i never him no name who gave him that name then said i putting question number two of the to mr why sir his father it him said ir i thought you were his father my brother joe was his father said mr dead mr i hinted after a pause said mr i was very much surprised that ir was not ham s father and began to wonder whether i was mistaken about his relationship to anybody else there i was so cm to know that i made up my mind to have it out with mr little em ly i said glancing at her she is your daughter isn t she mr no sir my brother in law tom was her father of david i couldn t help it dead mr i hinted after another respectful silence said mr i felt the difficulty of the subject but had not got to the bottom of it yet and must get to the bottom somehow so i said t you any children ir no master he answered with a short laugh i m a a bachelor i said astonished why who s that mr pointing to the person in the apron who was knitting that s said mr but at this point i mean my own peculiar made such impressive motions to me not to ask any more questions that i could only sit and look at all the silent company until it was time to go to bed then in the privacy of my own little cabin she informed me that ham and em ly were an orphan nephew and niece whom my host had at different times adopted in their childhood when they were left destitute and that mrs was the widow of his partner in a boat who had died very poor he was but a poor man himself | 8 |
said but as good as gold and as true as steel those were her the only subject she informed me on which he ever showed a violent temper or swore an oath was this generosity of his and if it were ever referred to by any one of them he struck the table a heavy blow with his right hand had split it on one such occasion and swore a dreadful oath that he would be if he didn t cut and run for good if it was ever mentioned again it appeared in answer to my inquiries that nobody had the least idea of the of this terrible passive to be but that they all regarded it as a most solemn i was very sensible of my s goodness and listened to the women s going to bed in another little like mine at the opposite end of the boat and to him and ham hanging up two for themselves on the hooks i had noticed in the roof in a very luxurious state of mind by my being sleepy as slumber gradually stole upon me i heard the wind howling out at sea and coming on across the flat so fiercely that i had a lazy apprehension of the great deep rising in the night but i myself that i was in a boat after all and that a man like mr was not a bad person to have on board if anything did happen nothing happened however worse than morning almost as soon as it shone upon the shell fi of my mirror i was out of bed and out with little em l picking up stones upon the beach you re quite a sailor i suppose i said to em ly i don t know that i supposed any thing of the kind but i felt it an act of gallantry to say something and a shining sail close to us made such a pretty little image of itself at the moment in her bright eye that it came into my head to say this no replied em ly shaking her head i m afraid of the sea the personal history and experience aid i said with a becoming air of boldness and looking very big at the mighty ocean a nt ah but it s cruel said em ly i have seen it very cruel to some of our men i have seen it tear a boat as big as our house all to pieces i hope it was nt the boat that that father was in said em ly no not that one i never see that boat nor him i asked her little em ly shook her head not to remember here was a coincidence i immediately went into an explanation how i had never seen my own father and how my mother and i had always lived by selves in the happiest state imaginable and so then and always meant to live so and how my father s grave was in the churchyard near our house and shaded by a tree beneath the boughs of which i had walked and heard the birds sing many a pleasant morning but there were some differences between em ly s and mine it appeared she had lost her mother before her father and where her father s grave was no one knew except that it was somewhere in the depths of the sea besides said em ly as she looked about for shells and pebbles father was a gentleman and your mother is a lady and my father was a and my mother was a s daughter and my uncle dan is a dan is mr is he said i uncle dan yonder answered em ly nodding at the boat house yes i mean him he must be very good i should think good said em ly if i was ever to be a lady i d give him a sky blue coat with diamond buttons trousers a red velvet waistcoat a cocked hat a large gold watch a silver pipe and a box of money i said i had no doubt that mr well deserved these treasures i must acknowledge that i felt it difficult to picture him quite at his ease in the proposed for him by his grateful little niece and that i was particularly doubtful of the policy of the cocked hat but i kept these sentiments to myself little em ly had stopped and looked up at the sky in her of these articles as if they were a glorious vision we went on again picking up shells and pebbles you would hke to be a lady i said looked at me and laughed and nodded yes i should like it very much we would all be together then me and uncle and ham and mrs we wouldn t mind then when there come stormy weather not for om own i mean we would for the poor s to be sure and we d help em with money when they come to any hurt this seemed to me to be a very satisfactory and therefore not at all improbable picture i expressed my pleasure in the contemplation of it and little em ly was to say don t you think you are afraid of the sea now op david it was quiet enough to e me but i have no doubt if i had seen a large wave come tumbling in i should have taken to my heels with an awful recollection of her drowned relations however i said no and i added you don t seem to be either though you say you are for she was walking much too near the brink of a sort of old or wooden we had strolled upon and i was afraid of her over i m not afraid in this way said little em ly but i wake | 8 |
when it blows and tremble to think of uncle dan and ham and believe i hear em crying out for help that s why i should like so much to be a lady but i m not afraid in this not a bit look here she started from my side and ran along a jagged timber which from the place we stood upon and the deep water at some height without the least defence the incident is so impressed on my remembrance that if i were a i could draw its form here i accurately as it was that day and little em ly springing forward to her destruction as it appeared to me with a look that i have never forgotten directed far out to sea the light bold fluttering little figure turned and came back safe to me and i soon laughed at my fears and at the cry i had uttered in any case for there was no one near but there have been times since in my manhood many times there have been when i have thought is it possible among the possibilities of hidden things that in the sudden of the child and her wild look so far off there was any merciful attraction of her into danger any tempting her towards him permitted on the part of her dead father that her life might have a chance of ending that day there has been a time since when i have wondered whether if the life before her could have been revealed to me at a glance and so revealed as that a child could fully comprehend it and if her preservation could have depended on a motion of my hand i ought to have held it up to save her there has been a time since i do not say it lasted long but it has been when i have asked myself the question would it have been better for little em ly to have had the waters close above her head that morning in my sight and when i have answered yes it would have been this may be premature i have set it do vn too soon perhaps but let it stand we strolled a long way and loaded ourselves with things that we thought curious and put some star fish carefully back into the water i hardly know enough of the race at this moment to be quite certain whether they had reason to feel obliged to us for doing so or the reverse and then made our v ay home to mr s dwelling we stopped under the lee of the to exchange an innocent kiss and went in to breakfast glowing with health and pleasure like two young mr said i knew this meant in our local dialect like two young and received it as a compliment the personal history and experience of course i was in love with little em iy i am sure i loved that baby quite as truly quite as tenderly with greater purity and more than can enter into the best love of a later time of life high and as it is i am sm e my fancy raised up something round that blue eyed of a child which and made a very angel of her if any sunny she had spread a little pair of wings and flown away before my eyes i don t think i should have regarded it as much more than i had had reason to expect we used to walk about that dim old flat at in a loving manner hours and hours the days by us as if time had not grown up himself yet but were a child too and always at play i told em ly i adored her and that unless she confessed she adored me i should be reduced to the necessity of killing myself with a sword she said she did and i have no doubt she did as to any sense of or or other difficulty in our way little em ly and i had no such trouble because we had no future we made no more provision for growing older than we did for growing younger we were the admiration of mrs and who used to whisper of an evening when we sat lovingly on our little side by side lor wasn t it beautiful mr smiled at us from behind his pipe and ham grinned all the evening and did nothing else they had something of the sort of pleasure in us i suppose that they might have had in a pretty toy or a pocket model of the i soon found out that mrs did not always make herself so agreeable as she might have been expected to do under the circumstances of her residence with mr mrs s was rather a disposition and she more sometimes than was comfortable for other parties in so small an establishment i was very sorry for her but there were moments when it would have been more agreeable thought if mrs had had a convenient apartment of her own to retire to and had stopped there until her spirits revived mr went occasionally to a public house called the willing mind i discovered this by his being out on the second or third evening of our visit and by mrs s looking up at the dutch clock between eight and nine and saying he was there and that what was more she had known in the morning he would go there mrs had been in a low state all day and had burst into tears in the when the fire smoked i am a lone were mrs s words when that unpleasant occurrence took place and every think goes with me oh it soon leave off said i again mean our and besides you know it s not more disagreeable to you than to | 8 |
bark after me all the way while i climbed the stairs and looking as blank and strange upon the room as the room looked upon me sat down with my small hands crossed and thought i thought of the things of the shape of the room of the cracks in the ceiling of the paper on the wall of the in the window glass making and on the prospect of the washing stand being on its three legs and having a discontented something about it reminded me of mrs under the influence of the old one i was crying all the time but except that i was conscious of being cold and dejected i am sure i never thought why i cried at last in my desolation i began to consider that i was dreadfully in love with little em ly and had been torn away from her to come here where no one seemed to want me or to care about me half as much as she did this made such a very miserable piece of business of it that i rolled myself up in a corner of the and cried myself to sleep i was awoke by somebody saying here he is and my hot head my mother and had come to look for me and it was one of them who had done it said my mother what s the matter i thought it very strange that she should ask me and answered nothing i turned over on my face i recollect to hide my which answered her with greater truth said my mother my child i dare say no words she could have uttered would have affected me so much then as her calling me her child i hid my tears in the and pressed her from me with my hand when she would have raised me up this is your doing you thing said my mother i have no doubt at all about it how can you reconcile it to your conscience i wonder to prejudice my own boy against me or against anybody who is dear to me what do you mean by it poor lifted up her hands and eyes and only answered in a sort of of the grace i usually repeated after dinner lord forgive you mrs and for what you have said this minute may you never be truly sorry it s enough to me cried my mother in my too when my most enemy might one would think and not envy me a little peace of mind and happiness you naughty boy you savage creature oh dear me cried my mother d the personal history and experience turning from one of us to the other in her wilful manner what a troublesome world this is when one has the most right to expect it to be as agreeable as possible i felt the touch of a hand that i knew was neither her s nor s and slipped to my feet at the bed side it was mr s hand and he kept it on my arm as he said what s this my love have you forgotten my dear i am veiy sorry edward said my mother i meant to be very good but i am so uncomfortable indeed he answered that s a bad hearing so soon i say it s very hard i should be made so now returned my mother and it is very hard isn t it he drew her to him whispered in her ear and kissed her i knew as well when i saw my mother s head lean down upon his shoulder and her arm touch his neck i knew as well that he could mould her nature into any form he chose as i know now that he did it go you below my love said mr david and i will come down together my friend turning a darkening face on when he had watched my mother out and dismissed her with a nod and a smile do you know your mistress s name she has been my mistress a long time sir answered i ought to it that s true he answered but i thought i heard you as i came up stairs address her by a name that is not hers she has taken mine you know will you remember that with some uneasy glances at me herself out of the room without replying seeing i suppose that she was expected to go and had no excuse for remaining when we two were left alone he shut the door and sitting on a chair and holding me standing before him looked steadily into my eyes i felt my own attracted no less steadily to his as i recall our being opposed thus face to face i seem again to hear my heart beat fast and high david he said making his lips thin by pressing them together if i have an obstinate horse or dog to deal with what do you think i do i don t know i beat him i had answered in a kind of breathless whisper but i felt in my silence that my breath was shorter now i make him and smart i say to myself i conquer that fellow and if it were to cost him all the blood he had i should do it what is that upon your face dirt i said he knew it was the mark of tears as well as i but if he had asked the question twenty times each time with twenty blows i believe my baby heart would have burst before i would have told him so you have a good deal of intelligence for a little fellow he said with a grave smile that belonged to him and you understood me veiy well i see wash that face sir and come down with me of david he pointed to | 8 |
the stand i had made out to be like mrs and me with his head to obey him directly i had little doubt then and i have less doubt now that he would have knocked me down without the least if i had hesitated my dear he said when i had done his bidding and he walked me into the parlor with his hand still on my arm you will not be made uncomfortable any more i hope we shall soon improve our youthful god help me i might have been improved for my whole life i might have been made another creature perhaps for life by a kind word at that season a word of encouragement and explanation of pity for my childish ignorance of welcome home of to me that it was home might have made me dutiful to him in my heart henceforth instead of in my outside and might have made me respect instead of hate him i thought my mother was sorry to see me standing in the room so scared and strange and that presently when i stole to a chair she followed me with her eyes more sorrowfully still missing perhaps some freedom in my childish tread but the word was not spoken and the time for it was gone we dined alone we three together he seemed to be very fond of my mother i am afraid i liked him none the better for that and she was very fond of him i gathered from what they said that an elder sister of his was coming to stay with them and that she was expected that evening i am not certain whether i found out then or afterwards that without being concerned in any business he had some share in or some annual charge upon the profits of a wine merchant s house in london with which his family had been connected from his great grandfather s time and in which his sister had a similar interest but i may mention it in this place whether or no after dinner when we were sitting by the fire and i was meditating an escape to without having the to slip away lest it should offend the master of the house a coach drove up to the garden gate and he went out to receive the visitor my mother followed him i was timidly following her when she turned round at the in the dusk and taking me in her embrace as she had been used to do whispered me to love my new father and be obedient to him she did this hurriedly and secretly as if it were wrong but tenderly and putting out her hand behind her held mine in it until we came near to where he was standing in the garden where she let mine go and drew her s through his arm it was miss who was arrived and a gloomy looking lady she was dark like her brother whom she greatly resembled in face voice and with very heavy eyebrows nearly meeting over her large nose as if being by the wrongs of her sex from wearing whiskers she had carried them to that account she brought with her two hai d black boxes with her on the in hard brass nails when she paid the coachman she took her money out of a hard steel purse and she kept the purse in a very jail of a bag which hung upon her arm by a heavy chain and shut up like a bite i had never at that time seen such a lady altogether as was d the al history and experience she was brought into the parlor with many tokens of welcome and there formally recognised my mother as a new and near relation then she looked at me and said is that your boy sister in law my mother acknowledged me generally speaking said miss i don t like boys how d ye do boy under these encouraging circumstances i replied that i was veiy well and that i hoped she was the same with such an indifferent grace that miss disposed of me in two words wants manner having uttered which with great distinctness she begged the favor of being to her room which became to me from that time forth a place of awe and dread wherein the two black boxes were never seen open or known to be left unlocked and where for i peeped in once or twice when she was out numerous little steel and with which miss herself when she was di generally hung upon the looking glass in formidable array as well as i could make out she had come for good and had no intention of ever going again she began to help my mother next morning and was in and out of the store closet all day putting things to rights and making in the old arrangements almost the first remarkable thing i observed in miss was her being constantly haunted by a suspicion that the servants had a man somewhere on the premises under the influence of this delusion she into the coal cellar at the most hours and scarcely ever opened the door of a dark cupboard without clapping it to again in the belief that she had got him though there was nothing very airy about miss she was a perfect lark in point of getting up she was up and as i believe to this hour looking for that man before anybody in the house was stirring gave it as her opinion that she even slept with one eye open but i could not in this idea for i tried it myself after hearing the suggestion vn out and found it couldn t be done on the veiy first morning after her arrival she was up and ringing her at cock when my mother came down to | 8 |
breakfast and was going to make the tea miss mm gave her a kind of on the cheek which her nearest approach to a kiss and said now my dear i am come here you to relieve you of au the trouble i can you re much too pretty and thoughtless my mother blushed but laughed and seemed not to dislike this character to have any duties imposed upon you that can be undertaken by me if you ll be so good as give me your keys my dear i ll attend to all this sort of in future from that time miss kept the keys in her little jail all day and under her au night and my mother had no more to do with them than i had my mother did not suffer her authority to pass from her without a shadow of protest one night when miss had been developing tain household plans to her brother of which he signified his of david tion my mother suddenly began to cry and said she thought she might have been consulted said mr sternly i wonder at you oh it s very well to say you wonder edward cried my mother and it s very well for you to talk about firmness but you wouldn t like it yourself i may t was the gi and quality on which both mr and i took their stand however i might have expressed my comprehension of it at that time if i had been called upon i nevertheless did clearly comprehend in my own way that it was another name for tyranny and for a certain gloomy s humour that was in them both the creed as i should state it now was this mr was firm nobody in his world was to be so firm as mi nobody else in his world was to be firm at all for everybody was to be bent to his firmness miss was an exception she might be firm but only by relationship and in an inferior and degree ly mother was another exception she might be firm and must be but only in bearing their and firmly there was no other firmness upon earth it s very hard said my mother that in my house mi house repeated mr our own house i mean faltered my mother evidently frightened i hope you must know what i mean edward it s very hard that in our own house i may not have a word to say about domestic matters i am sure i managed very well before we were there s evidence said my mother sobbing ask if i didn t do very well when i wasn t interfered with edward said let there be an end of this i go to morrow jane said her brother be silent how dare you to that you don t know my character better than your words imply i am sure my poor mother went on at a grievous disadvantage and with many tears i don t want anybody to go i should be very miserable and unhappy if anybody was to go i don t ask much i am not unreasonable i only want to be consulted sometimes i am veiy much obliged to anybody who me and i only want to be as a mere form sometimes i thought you were pleased once with my being a little inexperienced and girlish edward i am sure you said so but you seem to hate me for it now you are so severe edward said again let there be an end of this i go to morrow jane thundered mr will you be silent how dare you miss made a jail delivery of her pocket handkerchief and held it before her eyes he continued looking at my mother you me you me yes i had a satisfaction in the thought of marrying an inexperienced and person and forming her character and into it some amount of that firmness and decision of which it stood in need but when jane is kind enough to come to my assistance the personal history and experience in this endeavour and to assume for my sake a condition something like a housekeeper s and she meets with a base return oh pray pray edward cried my mother don t accuse me of being i am sure i am not ungrateful no one ever said i was before i have many faults but not that oh don t my dear jane meets i say he went on after waiting until my mother was silent with a base return that feeling of mine is and altered don t my love say that implored my mother very oh don t i can t bear to hear it whatever i am i am affectionate i know i am affectionate i wouldn t say it if i wasn t certain that i am ask i am sure she tell you i m affectionate there is no extent of mere weakness said mi in reply that can have the least weight with me you lose breath pray let us be friends said my mother i couldn t live under coldness or i am so sorry i have a great many defects i know and it s very good of you edward with j our strength of mind to endeavour to correct them for me jane i don t object to anything i should be quite broken hearted if you thought of leaving my mother was too much overcome to go on jane said mr to his sister any harsh words between us are i hope uncommon it is not my fault that so unusual an occurrence has taken place to night i was betrayed into it by another nor is it your fault you were betrayed into it by another let us both try to forget it and as | 8 |
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