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has herself made no impression charmed nobody and therefore as a necessary consequence she is not charmed how much more happiness does that woman experience who when in company her attention to her nearest neighbour and beholding a cheerful countenance or hearing a pleasant voice is encouraged to proceed in an acquaintance which may ultimately into friendship may teach her some useful lesson or raise her estimate of her fellow creatures even where no such agreeable results are experienced where the party attempted proves wholly there is still a satisfaction in having made the trial far beyond what can be experienced by any defeated attempt to be agreeable indeed the disappointment of having failed to make a pleasing impression merely for the purpose of gratifying our own vanity without reference to the happiness of others is adapted in an especial manner to sour the temper and the mind because we feel along with the disappointment a consciousness that our ambition has been of an and selfish kind while if our endeavour has been to contribute to the general sum of social enjoyment by encouraging the the acquaintance of the amiable and latent talent we cannot feel pressed by such a f at our want of success the women of england the great question with regard to modem education is which of these two classes of feeling does it into the does it inspire the young women of the present day with an desire to make every body happy around them or does it teach them only to sing and play and speak in foreign languages and consequently leave them to be ttie prey of their own disappointed feelings whenever they find it impossible to make any of these tell upon society of chapter v op the women op england it may not perhaps be asking too much of the reader to request that gentle personage to bear in mind that in speaking both of the characteristics and the influence of a certain class of females strict reference has been maintained throughout the four preceding chapters to such as may with justice be true english women with bending from their own and wandering like weeds about the british garden to the of the growth of all useful plants this work has little to do except to point out how they might have been cultivated to better purpose i have said of english women that they are the best fireside companions but i am afraid that my remark must apply to a very small portion of the community at large the ber of those who are wholly destitute of the highest charm belonging to social companionship is great and these pages would never have been upon the notice of the public if there were not strong symptoms of the number becoming greater still thb of women have the choice of many means of bringing their principles into exercise and of obtaining influence both in their own domestic sphere and in society at large amongst the most important of these is conversation an engine so powerful upon the minds and characters of man kind in general that beauty before it and wealth in comparison is but as leaden coin if match making were indeed the great object of human life i should scarcely dare to make this assertion since few men choose women for their conversation where wealth or beauty are to be had i must however think more nobly of the female sex and believe them more to maintain affection after the match is made than simply to be led to the altar as wives whose influence will that day be laid aside with their wreaths of white roses and laid aside for ever if beauty or wealth have been the bait in this the bride may gather up her wreath of roses and place them again upon her polished brow nay she may bestow the treasures of her wealth without reserve and permit the husband of her choice to u ber goodly lands to waste she may do what she dress bloom or descend from to poverty but if she has no intellectual hold upon her husband s heart she must inevitably become that most helpless and pitiable of earthly objects a wife conversation understood in its proper character as from mere talk might rescue her from this not conversation upon books if her husband happens to be a of fox hunter nor upon fox hunting if he is a book but exactly that kind of conversation which is best adapted to his tastes and habits yet at the same time capable of leading him a little out of both into a wider field of observation and subjects he may never have derived amusement from before simply from the fact of their never having been presented to his notice how pleasantly the evening hours may be made to pass when a woman who really can converse will thus the time but on the other hand how wretched is the portion of that man the of his own fireside who sees the of his existence ever seated there the same in the influence she has upon his spirits to day as yesterday to morrow and the next day and the next welcome thrice welcome is the of en ted who breaks the dismal of this scene married women are often spoken of in high terms of for their personal services their and their domestic management but i am inclined to think that a married woman possessing all these and even beauty too yet wanting conversation might become weary stale flat and in the estimation of her husband and finally might drive him from his home by the leaden weight of her society i know not whether other minds have felt the same as mine under the pressure of some personal presence without fellowship of feeling innocent and harmless the individual may be who thus the grievance yet there is	41
themselves and tell of their own without occasion but even while they do this with an air of humility they seldom fail to leave an impression on the minds of their hearers that in reality they like their own faults better than the virtues of others it is not of much consequence what is the nature of the subject proposed to the attention of this class of if the weather it does not agree with me like the wind from the west if the politics of the country in which they live have not given much attention to politics nor do i think that women should if any moral quality in the abstract is discussed oh that is just my thb of fault or if i possess any i do think it is that if an anecdote is that is like or not like me i should or should not have done the same if the beauty of any distant place is described l never was there but my uncle once was within ten miles of it and had it not been for the of a letter i should have been his companion on that journey my uncle was always fond of taking me with him dear good man i was a great pet of his if the lapse of time is the subject of conversation the character many changes in a few years i wonder whether or in what way mine will be altered two years hence if the moon how many people write to the moon never did and thus sun moon and stars the whole created are but links in that continuous chain which with perpetual music to the connecting all things in heaven and earth however or by a perfect and harmonious union with self a very slight degree of observation would enable such individuals to perceive that as soon as self is put in the place of any of the subjects in question conversation necessarily flags as this topic to say the least of it cannot be to both parties on one side therefore nothing further remains to be said for however lovely the may be in her own person no man or woman either is prepared to have her for the world in general though it seems more than probable that the individual herself might not object to such a n another class of whose claims to of in this line i am in no way disposed to contest consists of the of mere common those who say nothing but what we could have said had we deemed it worth our while and who never on any occasion or by any chance give utterance to a new idea such people talk they seem to consider it their especial duty to talk and no symptoms of in their hearers no impatient answer nor averted ear nor even the interminable monotony of their own has the power to hush them into silence if they fail in one thing they try another but unfortunately for them there is a medium in their own discourse that would turn to dust the golden opinions of the wisest of men we naturally ask in what consists that objectionable common place of which we complain since the tenor of their conversation is not unlike the conversation of others it is in reality too like too much composed of the of conversation in general it has nothing in it and like certain letters we have seen would answer the purpose as well if addressed to one individual as another the of common place is always interested in the weather which forms an all sufficient resource when other subjects fail one would think from the with which the individual remarks upon the rising of clouds and the of rain she was perpetually on the point of setting out on a journey but she treats the seasons with the same respect and loses no opportunity of telling the farmer who is silently suffering from a wet harvest that the autumn has been if you cough she hopes you have not taken cold but really are extreme the of y if you bring out your work she both your industry and your taste and you that rich colours are well thrown off by a dark ground if books are the subject of conversation she whether you have read one that has just had a s run of popularity she thinks that authors sometimes go a little too far but with what appears in her opinion to be a universal case that much may be said on both sides from books she proceeds to authors upon the imagination of and the strength of mind possessed by more and deliberately whether you do not agree with her in her sentiments respecting both nay so far does reality exceed imagination that i once heard a very sweet and amiable woman whose desire to be at the same time both and agreeable somewhat her originality of thought exclaim in one of those pauses it to what an excellent book the bible is now there is no such an assertion and it is almost equally impossible to assent conversation therefore always flags where common place exists because it nothing touches no answering nor any other idea than that of bare sound to the ear of the reluctant listener another and most source of is found amongst that class of persons who choose to converse on subjects interesting to themselves without regard to time or place or general whatever they take up either as their ruling topic or as one of momentary interest is forced upon society whether u or out of season and they feel surprised tbat of their favourite subjects in themselves not well chosen are received by others with so cold a welcome how many worthy individuals whose minds are richly stored and whose desire is to useful knowledge entirely defeat their own ends by	41
this want of and many whose conversation might be both amusing and instructive from this cause seldom meet with a patient old people are peculiarly liable to this error and it would be well to provide against the and of advanced age by such powers of as would enable us habitually to discover what is acceptable or otherwise in conversation it occasionally happens that the mistress of a house the kind hospitable mistress who has been at a world of pains to make every body comfortable is the very last person at the table beside whom any of her guests would desire to be placed because they know that being once linked in with her interminable chain of they will have no chance of escape until the ladies rise to withdraw and there are few who would not prefer quietly of her and to hearing them described women of this description having tired out every body at home and taught every ear to turn away are of attention when they can command it or even that appearance of it which the politely puts on charmed with the novelty of her situation in having caught a she makes the most of him warming with her subject and describing still more he looks into his face with an expression he s on ecstasy and were it not that she the women of england him the task of a his situation would be as intolerable as the common routine of table talk could make it in about the same class of with this good lady might be placed the of tales whose natural flow of language and of ideas leads her so far away from the original story that neither the nor the listener would be able to answer if suddenly inquired of what the was about this is a very common fault amongst female whose of mind and sen of feeling render them peculiarly liable to be diverted from any definite object it is only wonderful that the same quickness of apprehension does not teach them the a impossibility of obtaining hearers on such terms nor must we forget amongst the of conversation the random those who talk from impulse only and rush upon you with whatever happens to be uppermost in their own minds or most pleasing to their fancy at the time without waiting to ascertain whether the individual they address is sad or merry at liberty to listen or pre occupied with some and more interesting subject whatever the topic of conversation thus upon society may be it is evident there must be a native and vulgarity in the mind of the individual who thus or she would wait before she spoke to tune her voice to some degree of harmony with the feelings of those around her thus far we have noticed only the trifling of con and of such we have perhaps al had more than enough though the catalogue be con op through as many volumes as it pages here there are other aspects more serious under which the of conversation must be contemplated and the first of these as it relates to or design in its power to give pain it is difficult to conceive that a deliberate desire to give pain could exist in any but the most malignant bosom but habitual want of regard to what is painful to others may easily be the cause of upon them real misery we have all observed perhaps some of us felt the sting of a or an ill timed jest and never is the it occasions or the effect it produces so much to be regretted as when it sharp tears from the gentle eyes of childhood ye know not what ye do might well be said to those who thus bum up the blossoms of youth and send back the fresh warm current of feeling to at the heart it would be impossible even if such were our object always discover exactly when we did give pain but surely it would be a study well worthy of a benevolent and enlightened mind to ascertain the fact with as much precision as we are capable of what for instance do we feel on being called upon to with a young lady who is at the same moment pointed out to us as one whose father a short time before put an end to his existence when the recollection simultaneously flashes upon us that during the whole of the past evening we engaged the attention of the very same young lady with a detailed account of the melancholy scenes we had sometimes witnessed in an asylum yet neither the pain in thb op by such is greater nor is its more in us than is that of a large portion of the ill judged random speeches we give utterance to every day nor is it in common conversation that carelessness of giving pain is felt so much as in the necessary duties of and finding fault i am inclined to think no very agreeable way of telling people of their faults has ever yet been discovered but certainly there is a as great as that which light from darkness between reproof and administered by carelessness in not our tones and looks and manner when others we may convey either too much or too little meaning and thus defeat our own purposes we may even convey an impression the exact opposite of that designed and awaken s of bitterness revenge and in the mind of the individual we are to serve let no one therefore presume to do good either by instruction or advice unless they have learned something of the human heart it may appear on the first view of the subject a difficult and study but it is one that never can be begun too early or pursued too long it is one also in the pursuit of which women never	41
need despair as they possess the universal key of sympathy by which all hearts may be unlocked some it is true with considerable difficulty and some but partially at last yet if the key be applied by a delicate and skilful hand there is little doubt but some measure of success will reward t we have said before and we again repeat it is scarcely s m or possible to believe that beings constituted as women kindly and tenderly of pain themselves should be capable of and pain upon others nature from the thought we look at the smile of beauty and exclaim we pursue the benevolent of the sick in her errands of mercy and say it cannot be yet all we fear it must be charged upon the female sex that they do assist occasionally in the circulation of petty scandal and that it is not always from carelessness that they let slip the shaft or speak where they dare not use them nor are the alone to blame the hearers ought at least to for if the habit of character were in society it would soon cease to exist or exist only in occasional attempts to be defeated as soon as made few women have the to confess that they delight in this kind of conversation but let the experiment be made in mixed society of course not under the influence of true religious feeling though perhaps the party might be such as would feel a little at being told they were not let a clever and sarcastic woman take the field not to talk against her neighbours on her own authority but to throw in the of the day by way of to the general conversation giving to a public man his private to an author his book to the rich man his trading to the poor his to the beau his borrowed and to the her artificial we grant that thi mass of matter thrown in the women of england ill at once would be likely to offend the taste it must therefore be distributed with nice distinction and dressed up with care will there not then be a large proportion of listeners gathered round the speaker smiling a ready assent to what they had themselves not dared to utter and nodding as if in silent recognition of some fact they had previously been made acquainted with in a more private way now all this while there may be seated in another part of the room a person whose sole business is to tell the good she knows believes or has heard of others she is not a mere of facts but equally shrewd and with the opposite party only she is to the detail of what is good i simply ask for i wish not to pursue the subject farther which of these will be likely to obtain the largest group of listeners it is not after all by any consistent or determined attack upon character that so much mischief is done as by otherwise agreeable conversation with the sly hope of pretended charity that certain things are not as they have been reported or the kind wish that apparent merit was real or might last english society is so happily constituted that women have little temptation to iy open vice they must lose all respect for themselves before they would venture so far to forget their respectability but they have temptations as powerful to them as open vice to others and not the less so for being who would believe that the pas t of envy hatred and revenge could within the gentle bosom over which those folds of dove coloured of are the lady has been prevailed upon to for the amusement of the company blushing and hesitating she is to be led to the place of exhibition when another movement in a distant part of the room where her own advance was not observed has placed upon the seat of honour a younger and perhaps more lovely woman and she lays open the very piece of music which the lady in the dove like colour had believed herself the only person present who could sing the charms the company the next day our dove hears of nothing but this exquisite performance and at last she is provoked to say no wonder she plays so well for i understand she does nothing else her mamma was ill the other day with a dreadful headache and she played on the whole afternoon because she was going to a party in the evening and wished to keep herself in practice now there is little in this single speech it is almost too trifling for remark but it may serve as a specimen of thousands which are no determined nay possibly no at all and yet in feelings as opposed to christian love and charity as are the malignant passions of envy hatred and revenge i must again repeat that i the evil exists not in this individual act but in the state of the heart where it yet i write thus earnestly about seeming trifles i believe few young persons are sufficiently alive to their importance because i know that the minor morals of domestic life exercise a vital influence over the of society and because the peace of whole families the women of england sometimes destroyed by the outward of religious duty not being supported by an equally of these delicate but essential points in studying the art or rather the duty of being agreeable a duty which all kindly disposed persons will be anxious to observe it is of importance to inquire from whence the errors here with the long catalogue that might follow in their train so far as they are confined to of what is really agreeable they may be said to in the innate selfishness of our nature gaining the	41
mastery over our judgment beyond this they in the evil of the human heart which when the influence of popular feeling against their exhibition in any gross and palpable form themselves as it were into the very current of our existence and poison all our secret springs of feeling in order to correct the former it is necessary that the judgment should be awakened but as habits of selfishness long indulged involve the understanding in a cloud too dense to be altogether it is the more important that youth should be so trained as to acquire habits of constant and mental reference to the feelings and characters of others so that a quickness of perception almost like knowledge shall enable them to carry out the kindly purposes they are taught to cherish into the delicate and minute affairs of life and thus render them the means not only of giving pleasure but of it may appear a harsh conclusion to come to that the little errors of conversation to which allusion has been made and which are often conspicuous in what are called of good sort of people really owe their existence to selfishness but it should be remembered that to this assertion the writer is far from adding that those who act with more tact and avoid such errors are necessarily free from the same fault there may be a refined as well as a gross selfishness and both may be equal in their intensity and power but let us go back to the cases already if the artist were not habitually more intent upon his own than upon that of his companions he would keep his in the back ground and allow himself time to perceive that the attention of his companion was pre occupied by subjects more agreeable to him the same may certainly be said of the more common fault of making self the ruling topic of conversation and this applies with equal truth to self as to self praise the case is too clear and simple to need farther argument it must be the of acting from that first and most powerful impulse of our nature and just pouring forth the fulness of our own hearts our own tion of its load and the of our own memory without regard to fitness or preparation in the soil upon which the seed may fall or the harvest it is likely to produce that renders conversation sometimes and and sometimes the which attach to the talent of conversation do not appear to fall directly within the compass of a work expressly devoted to the morals of domestic life it is however a fact of great importance to establish that a woman s conversation for in the of lie they converse too much alike is the evidence of her mind or not with just and religious principles that where it is uniformly trifling there can be no desire to promote the interests of religion in the world and where on the other hand it is uniformly solemn and it is ill calculated to recommend the course it would advocate with that where it in sarcasm and abuse even of what is it never from a mind in perfect with what is good and that where it is always smooth and sweet and complacent it must be deficient in one of the grand uses of conversation its and reproof finally where it is carried on in public or in private without the least desire to truth to correct mistakes in relation or opinion to establish principle to useful knowledge to warn of danger or to perform that most but most important of all to correct the faults of friends there must be something wrong at the heart s core from whence this waste of words is flowing and sad will be the final if for each day of a lengthened existence upon earth this great engine of moral good and evil has been thus performing its fruitless labour for time without an object eternity without reward of chapter vi c on y b r it may appear somewhat to commence a chapter on the uses of conversation by pointing out the uses of being silent yet such is the importance to a woman of knowing exactly when to cease from conversation and when to withhold it altogether that the silence of the female sex seems to have become with a degree of merit almost too great to be believed in as a fact there could be no agreeable conversation carried on if there were no good listeners and from her position in society it is the peculiar province of a woman rather to lead others out into animated and intelligent communication than to be intent upon making communications from the resources of her own mind besides this there are times when men especially if they are of moody temperament are more offended and annoyed by being talked to than they could be by the greatest personal from the same quarter and a woman of taste will readily detect the forbidding frown the close shut lips and the averted eye which indicate a determination not to be drawn out she will then find opportunity for the in the of of those secret trains of thought and feeling which naturally arise in every human mind and while she her busy needle and sits quietly musing by the side of her husband her father or her brother she may be adding fresh materials firom the world of thought to that fund of amusement which she is ever ready to bring forward for their use by the art of conversation therefore as i am about to treat the subject in the present chapter i would by no means be understood to mean the mere act of talking but that cultivation and exercise of the powers which is most to social enjoyment and most productive of influence upon our	41
fellow creatures i have already asserted of conversation that it is a fruit ful source of human happiness and misery a powerful engine of moral good and evil and few i should suppose would deny the truth of this assertion yet notwithstanding the of this conviction the art of tion is seldom or never cultivated as a branch of modern education it is true the youthful mind is stimulated into early and and the youthful memory is stored with facts but the young student released from the of school discipline is thrown upon society in a state of ignorance of the means of her knowledge so as to render it available in raising the general tone of conversation and the consequence mostly is she is so engrossed by the new life into which she is suddenly introduced and so occupied in learning what must be acquired before she can make any respectable figure in what is called society that she the door upon the conversation of store house she has spent so many years of her life in filling and finding little use for the materials accumulated there is only known in years to have had a good education hy hearing her occasionally exclaim i learned all about that at school but have entirely forgotten it since the english woman whose peculiar part it is to all that is productive of benefit in her powers with all that is to happiness in her would do well to give her attention as early as possible to the uses of conversation and if a system could be formed for teaching some of the simple rules of conversation as an art it would be found more advantageous to women in their social capacity than many of the branches of learning which they now spend years in acquiring to converse by rule has indeed a startling sound and few we are apt to conclude on a of the subject would recommend themselves by such a process the same conclusion however is always rushed upon by the young genius who first begins to try her skill in the sister arts of painting and poetry yet in proceeding she finds at every step that there must be a a plan a system or that genius with all her profusion of materials will be unable to form them into such a whole as will afford pleasure even to the most i am aware i some risk of being charged both with ignorance and enthusiasm when i express my belief that the art of conversation might in some measure be reduced to a system taught in our schools and rendered an important part of female education but i am not aware that my the women of england belief can be proved to be ill founded until the experiment has been fairly tried an individual who has never heard of go forth into one of our english meadows in the month of june and gaze upon the of flowers and leaves and shoot ing stems which there would meet his eye tell him that all these distinct and separate plants have been and resolved into their appropriate orders and he will exclaim impossible it cannot be i must allow that the case is not strictly speaking a lar one there are difficulties of no trifling magnitude in the faculties of the human mind to any thing like order and in laying down rules for the promotion of human happiness except on the broad scale of moral philosophy but let the two cases be fairly tried and i am still that the most apparently would not be attended with a measure of success if we consider the number of books that have been written on the subject of the number of lectures that have been delivered the number of years it has been taught and the number of wise men who have made it their chief study and if in comparison with a subject upon which such vast machinery of mind has been brought to operate we do but mention that of conversation to which no one entire volume has perhaps ever yet been devoted a smile of derision will most probably be the only notice our observation will excite i would not be understood to speak lightly of a knowledge of or to the value of any other science all i would maintain is this that to know every thing that op can be known in art and nature is of little value to a wo man if she has not at the same time learned to her knowledge in such a manner as to render it agreeable and serviceable to others a woman does not converse more agreeably because she is able to define the difference between a rose and a though it may be desirable to be able to do so when asked but because she has a quick insight into character has tact to select the subjects of conversation best suited to her and to pursue them just so long as they excite interest and engage attention with regard to the art of conversation therefore may be laid down as the vivacity or rather freshness the second and the establishment of a fact or the of a moral the third why should not the leisure hours school be filled up by the practice of these rules not only as a but as a pleasing art in which it would be much to the advantage of every woman to hy should not the mistress of the school devote her time occasionally to the exercise of this art in the midst of her pupils who might by her winning manners be invited in their turn to practise upon her and why should not some plan be invented for encouraging the same exercise amongst the junior members of the establishment each girl for instance might be appointed for a day or a week the with or	41
of one of her fellow students taking all in so that in their hours of leisure it should be her business to devote herself to her companion as it is that of a host to a guest a report should then be given in at the the women op england of the day or week by the girl whose part it was to be conversed with and by encouraging her to state whether she has been annoyed or interested wearied or amused in the presence of her companion who should in her turn have the liberty of or complaining of her as an attentive or listener a good or bad such habits of and sincerity would be cultivated as are of essential service in the formation of the moral character the practice of this art as here recommended would not necessarily be in its operation to any particular number those who attained the greatest might extend their powers to other members of the establishment and thus might be constituted little societies in which all the faculties most to recommend the young students in their future association with the world would be called into exercise and rendered to the general good to the class of women chiefly referred to in this work it is perhaps most important that they should be able to con verse with interest and effect a large portion of their time is spent in the useful labour of the needle an occupation which of all others requires something to vary its monotony and render less irksome its seemingly interminable duration they are frequently employed in nursing the sick when appropriate and well timed conversation may occasionally the sufferer into forgetfulness of pain and they are also much at home at their humble quiet homes where excitement from causes seldom comes and where if they are with the art conversation op and in the practice of conversation their days are indeed heavy and their evenings worse than dull the women of england are not only peculiarly in need of this delightful to with their daily cares but until the late rapid increase of superficial refinement they were adapted by their habits and mode of life for their powers in a very high degree their time was not occupied by the artificial of polished life they were thrown directly upon their own resources for substantial comfort and thus they acquired a foundation of character which rendered their conversation sensible original and full of point it is greatly to be apprehended that the increased for instruction in the present day have not produced a increase in the of conversing and it is well worthy the attention of those who give their time and thoughts to the invention of improved means of knowledge to inquire what is the best method of doing this by conversation as well as by books it is not however strictly speaking in a knowledge of general facts that the highest use of conversation consists general facts may be recorded in books and books may be to ihe remotest range of civilized society but there are delicate touches of feeling too to bear the impress of any character there are mental and spiritual that must be immediate to be available and who has not known the time when they would have given the wealth of worlds for the power to their full hearts before the moment of of england acceptance should be gone or the attentive ear be closed for ever the difficulty is seldom so great in knowing what ought to be said as in knowing how to speak what of expression would be most acceptable or what turn the conversation ought to take so as best to introduce the point in question nor is the it of the voice an unimportant branch of this art there are never to be forgotten tones with which some cruel word has been accompanied that have impressed themselves upon every heart and there are also tones of kindness equally which had perhaps more influence at the time they were heard than the language they were employed to convey it was not what she said but the tone of voice in which she spoke is the complaint of many a wounded spirit and welcome and soothing to the listening ear is every tone that tells of hope and gladness there is scarcely any source of enjoyment more immediately connected at once with the heart and with the mind than that of listening to a sensible and amiable woman when she in a melodious and well regulated voice when her language and are easy and correct and when she knows how to her conversation to the characters and habits of those around her women considered in their distinct and abstract nature as isolated beings must lose more than half their worth they are in fact from their own constitution and from the station occupy in the world strictly speaking relative creatures if therefore they are endowed only with such conversation of faculties as render them striking and distinguished in them selves without the faculty of they are only as dead letters in the volume of human life filling what would otherwise he a space but doing nothing more all the knowledge in the world therefore without an easy and method of conveying it to others would be but a possession to a woman while a very inferior portion of knowledge with this method might render her an interesting and companion none need despair then if shut out by homely by means or by other causes from learning au the lessons taught at school for there are lessons to be learned at home around the domestic hearth and even in the obscurity of rural life perhaps of more importance in the up of human happiness one of the popular uses of conversation is to pass away time without being conscious of its duration and unworthy as this object unquestionably is	41
the fact that conversation is employed more than any other means for such a purpose is a convincing proof of its importance and its power it is so natural to converse that one of the inflicted upon degraded human nature is that of being denied the liberty of speech how desirable is it then that what is done every hour in all classes of society and under almost every variety of circumstance should be done for some good purpose and done in the best possible manner to converse well in company is a point of ambition with many women and few are insensible to the homage paid by the most sincere of all a group of attentive the of listeners so far as this talent a woman of elevated mind to give a higher tone to conversation in general it is indeed a valuable gift but that of being able to converse in an agreeable and appropriate manner in a sick room with an aged parent or distressed relative or with a friend in delicate and trying circumstances is a of far higher and more character i have already remarked that attendance upon the sick is one of the most frequent and familiar at the same time that it is one of the most sacred of the duties upon the class of women here described it is much to be able gently and to smooth the pillow for the aching head to administer the cordial draught to guide the feeble steps and to watch through the sleepless and protracted hours of night but these are services rendered only to the suffering body the mind the mind may all the while be sorely in need of the oil with which its lamp should still be trimmed and how shall this be administered the practised nurses hired for the sion make rude and ill advised attempts tp raise the ing spirits of the patient by their vulgar books are too wearisome and tell only of far off and by gone things when the whole interest of the sufferer is ted into t ie present moment and fixed upon himself it happens more frequently and more happily amongst the middle classes in england that nurses and cannot be hired and that the chief attention required by the patient upon the females of the family how differently in this case is the sufferer dealt with is no appearance of coming in expressly to converse lit of with him but while a gentle and kind hearted woman with noiseless tread about the room arranging every article of comfort and giving to the whole apartment an air of refreshment or repose she is watching every indication of an opening for conversation that may the lingering hours of their and lead the sufferer to forget his pain there are moments even in seasons of sickness when a little well timed is far from being she watches for these and turns them to account by going just so far in her as the exhausted frame can bear without injury when sympathy is called for as it is on such occasions almost she it freely and fully though not to any prolonged extent as regards the case immediately under her care but continuing the same tone and manner and with evidently the same feeling she speaks of other cases of suffering of some friend or neighbour and the more recent and immediate the instances the more likely they will be to divert the mind of the patient from himself these of course are not brought forward with anything like a ing that the patient is not worse than others but simply as if her own mind was of the impression they are calculated to excite and by these means her voice and her countenance to the facts she is relating she them with an interest which even to the selfish invalid is irresistible varying with every change in the temper and mood of the patient her conversation every variety that is calculated to please always subdued and kept under by such delicate touches of feeling such intense of and such lively sensibility that the faintest shadow cannot pass across the aching brow nor the slightest indication of a smile across the lips but it serves as an index for her either to change the subject of her discourse to be silent or to proceed there is along with all this a kindness in her voice which no pen was ever so eloquent as to describe and there are moments of appealing weakness on the part of the invalid when she forth the full tide of her affection in language that prosperity and health would never have taught her how to use beyond these seasons of intercourse however and of far deeper value are those in which the soul of him who feels himself to be fast hastening to the of eternity will sometimes seek a human ear for the utterance of its anxieties and fears and appeal to a human heart for counsel in its hours of need it may be that the individual has never been accustomed to converse on these subjects knows not how to begin and is ashamed to condemn as he feels that he must do the whole of his past life who then but the friend who has been near him in all his re cent and trials who has shared them both to her very utmost and thus obtained his confidence who but his patient and nurse can mark and understand the struggle of his feelings and lead them forth by partial so gently that he is neither pained nor by the whole confession perchance it is at the hour of midnight when fever gives him strength and darkness hides his countenance and ha hears the sweet tones of that encouraging voice now to the expression of a sympathy the most intense and of a love that many waters	41
either and to hear her speak as if she was injured imposed upon insulted before her family because the servant who was engaged to work for her had been betrayed into impertinence by a system of reproof as much at with christian as the retort it was so well calculated to provoke women of such habits would perhaps be a little surprised if told that when a lady from her own proper station to speak in an or injurious manner to a servant she is herself guilty of impertinence and that no domestic of honest and upright spirit will feel that such treatment ought to be submitted to on the other hand there is a degree of kindness blended with dignity which servants who are not absolutely are to appreciate and the slight ed to obtain their confidence is almost invariably repaid by a double share of and faithful service the situation of living by their is one which i should hope there are few women capable of enduring with the cold attentions rendered without and by every means the short reply to every question the averted look the privilege stolen rather than the secret murmur that is able to make itself understood without the use of words all these are parts of a system of behaviour that the very softly and forces upon the mind the i habits of come that a stranger who not in our common lot is within our domestic circle or that an alien who enters not into the sphere of our home associations upon our social board nay so forcible is the impression as almost to extend to a feeling that an enemy is amongst the members of our own household how different is the impression produced by a manner calculated both to win their confidence and inspire their respect the kind welcome after absence the watchful eye the anticipation of every wish the thousand little attentions and acts of service beyond what are noted in the bond who can resist the influence of these upon the and not desire to pay them back not certainly in their own kind and measure but in the only way they can be returned with the relative duties of both parties in kindness and consideration it is not however in seasons of health and prosperity that this bond between the different members of a family can be felt in its full force there is no woman so happily but that she finds some link broken in the charm which her to this world some shadow cast upon her earthly pictures the best beloved are not always those who love the best and expectation will exceed reality even in the most favoured lot there are hours of sadness that will steal in even upon the sunny prime of life and they are not felt the less because it is sometimes impossible to communicate the reason for such sadness to those who are themselves the cause in such cases and while the heart is in some degree firom natural and familiar fellowship we are thrown more especially thb won of upon the kindness and affection of our for the consolation we feel it impossible to live without they may be and they ought to be wholly with the cause of our but a faithfully attached servant without beyond her proper sphere is quick to discern the tearful eye the gloomy brow the countenance depressed and it is at such times that their kindness s and delicate attentions might often put to shame the higher pretensions of superior refinement in cases of illness or death it is perhaps more especially their merit to prove by their and how much they make the interest of the their own and how great is their anxiety to remove all lighter causes of annoyance from interference with the greater affliction in which those around them are involved there is scarcely a more pitiable object in creation than a helpless invalid left entirely to the care of whose affection never has been sought or won but on the other hand the readiness with which they will sometimes sacrifice their needful rest and that night after night to watch the feverish of a invalid is one of those features in the aspect of human nature which it is impossible to regard without feelings of admiration and gratitude the question necessarily follows how are our to be won over to this confidence and affection it comes not by nature for no tie except what necessarily authority and exists between us it cannot come by mutual acts of service because the relation between us is of such a nature as to place the services al domestic ot m most entirely on their side the benefits derived from such services on ours it comes then by instances of consideration showing that we have their interests at heart in the same degree that we expect them to have ours we cannot actually do much for them because it would be out df our province and a means of removing them out of theirs but we can think and feel for them and thus or add weight to their burdens by the manner in which our most trifling and familiar actions are performed in a foregoing chapter i have ventured a few hints on the subject of manners chiefly as regards their influence amongst those who meet us upon equal terms in the social of life the influence of the manner we choose to adopt in our intercourse with servants is of such importance as to deserve further notice than the nature of this work will allow there is a phenomenon sometimes witnessed at the head of a well appointed table from which many besides myself have no doubt started with astonishment and disgust a well dressed well educated lady attired in the most becoming and fashionable costume is engaged in conversing with her friends	41
pressing them to partake of her well and looking and speaking with the smiles when suddenly one of the servants is beckoned towards her and with an expression of countenance in which is concealed the passion and the of a whole lifetime he is of his duty in sharp whispers that seem to hiss uke lightning in his ears the lady then round to her guests i again arrayed in thb women of and prepared again to talk sweetly of the sympathies and of our common nature there is it must be confessed a most objectionable manner which familiarity with confidence and this ought to be guarded against as much in reproof as in for it cannot be expected that a mistress who her servant with ess and vulgarity will be treated with much in return the consideration i would recommend so far from inviting familiarity is ne connected with true dignity because it in the most manner a strict regard to the relative position of both parties let us see then in what it consists or rather let us place it in a stronger light by pointing out instances in which the absence of it is most generally felt there are many young ladies and some old ones with whom the patronage of appear to be an essential part of happiness and these as various as the tastes they gratify are all alike in one particular they are all troublesome if a lady her servants with an understanding that they are to wait upon her domestic animals no one can accuse her of injustice but if with barely a sufficient number of to perform the necessary labour of her household she a and expects the hard working servants to undertake the additional duty of waiting upon her perhaps the most repulsive creatures in existence to them such additional service ought at least to be as a favour and she will have no right to feel indignant should the favour be sometimes granted in a manner neither gracious nor when a servant who has been all day hard to domestic habits of give an aspect of comfort and cleanliness to the particular department committed to her care sees the young ladies of the home from their daily walk and never dreaming of her or her hard labour over the hall and stairs without stopping to rid themselves of that of clay which a fanciful writer has amongst the miseries of human li is it to be expected that the servant who sees this should be so far by the passions of humanity as not to feel the of rage and resentment in her bosom and when this particular act is repeated every day and followed up by others of the same description the frequently sensations of rage and so naturally excited will strengthen into those of habitual dislike and produce that service and kindness which has already been described there are thousands of little acts of this description such as ordering the tired servants at an hour to prepare an early breakfast and then not being ready yourself before the usual time being habitually too late for dinner without any sufficient reason and having a second dinner served up ringing the bell for the servant to leave her washing cooking or cleaning and come up to you to receive orders to fetch your or from the highest apartment in the house all which need no comment and surely those servants must be more than human who can experience the effects of such a system of behaviour carried on for days months and years and not feel and feel bitterly that they are themselves regarded as mere machines while their comfort and convenience is as much out as i they were nothing more of england it is an easy thing on entering a family to ascertain whether the female members of it are or are not considerate where they are not there exists as a necessary consequence a constant series of and attempted which sadly mar the happiness of the household on the other hand where the female members of a family are considerate there is a secret spring of sympathy all hearts together as if they were by a impulse of kindness on one side and gratitude on the other few words have need to be spoken few professions to be made for each is discovering that they have been the sub of affectionate solicitude and they are consequently on the watch for every opportunity to make an adequate return if the brother comes home sad or weary the sister to whom he has pledged himself to some exertion the languor of his eye and from pressing upon him a fulfilment of his promise if the sister is under depression the brother feels himself especially called upon to stand forward as her friend and if one of the family be suffering even slightly from there are watchful eyes around and the excursion is cheerfully given up by one the party by another and a quiet social evening is agreed upon to be spent at home and agreed upon in such a way as that the invalid shall never suspect it has been done at the cost of any pleasure there is no proof of affection more kindly prompted and more gratefully received than that of easily of we might almost single out this faculty as the test of for who tb w habits of on a stranger s brow or the gradually increasing of an cheek or what can convince us more effectually that we are in a world of strangers to whom our interests are as nothing than to be pressed on every hand to do what our bodily strength is unequal to there are points of consideration in which we often practise great self deception don t you think it would do you good my dear asks the young lady of	41
her sickly sister when the day of promised pleasure is at hand and she begins to fear her sister s cough will render it impossible to go from home the pain in your foot my love is considerably better says the wife to her husband when she thinks the are about leaving bath you are looking extremely well says the niece to her aged uncle who has promised to take her to paris i think i never saw you look so well but all this is not love it does not feel like love to the parties addressed for nature is true to herself and she will betray the secrets of art how different are the workings of that deep and earnest affection that sees with one glance how unreasonable it would be to drag forth the invalid to any in the of health and how welcome is the gentle whisper which us that one watchful eye our suffering one ear in our weakness and distress for it w distress to be compelled to complain that we are unequal to do what the happiness of others depends upon our doing and never is the voice of friendship employed in a more kindly office than when pleading the cause of our infirmity of it is chiefly with regard to the two sister virtues of and kindness that i look upon the women of england as so highly privileged because the nature of their social and domestic circumstances is such as to afford them constantly opportunities of proving that they think often and kindly of others without any departure from the routine of their conduct that might wear the character of a pointed application of such feelings it has a startling and by no means an agreeable effect upon the mind when a woman who is not habitually accustomed to any sort of practical kindness so far from her usual line of conduct as to perform any personal service solely for ourselves we feel that she has been troubled and suspect that she has been annoyed but women accustomed to practical duties are able to turn the whole tide of their affectionate solicitude into channels so wholesome and that our pride is not wounded by the obligation under which we are placed nor is our sense of gratitude by the pain of being out as the object of unwonted and elaborate attentions in order to illustrate the subject by a familiar instance let us imagine one of those events experienced by all who have lived to years of maturity and experienced in such a way as to have thrown them in a peculiar manner upon the domestic comforts of the circle to which they were the arrival after long travel on a visit to an early and highly valued friend it is not necessary to this picture that park gates should be thrown open and stationed on the steps of the domestic habits of hall it will better serve our purpose that the mistress of the house should herself be the first to meet her guest with that genuine welcome in her looks and manner that leaves nothing to be expressed by words we will suppose that with her own hand she all the of extra rendered necessary by the winter s and having quietly dismissed the expectant or porter she leads her friend into the neatly furnished parlour where another and a more familiar welcome seems at once to throw open her heart and her house for her reception a fire that has been built up is then most stirred until a bright and genial blaze its light around the room and the guest begins to glow with the two fold warmth of a welcome and a winter s fire in the mean time the servant well taught in the mysteries of hospitality the luggage up stairs unseen and the guest is led to the chamber appointed for her nightly rest there most especially is both seen and felt the kind feeling that has taken into account her peculiar tastes and anticipated all her well remembered wishes the east or the west apartment has been chosen according to the preference she has been known to express in days long since gone by when she and her friend were girls together and thus the chain of fond and cherished tions is made to appear again unbroken after the lapse of years and a conviction is silently impressed upon the mind of the perhaps the most welcome of all earthly sources of that we have been remembered not merely in the but that through long l the women of england years of change and separation time has not from the mind of a dear friend the slightest trace of our individuality perhaps none can tell until they have arrived at middle age what is in reality the essential sweetness of this in our association with the world we may have obtained for our industry our usefulness or it may be for our talents a measure of approval at least with our deserts but give back to the worn and the weary in this world s war re the friends of their early the friends who loved them faults and all the friends who could note down their very follies without contempt and who attached a degree of interest and importance to the trifling peculiarities of their temper and feelings which rendered them of an attachment such as never can be formed in after life to return from this the english woman in the beauty of her character has a power far surpassing what can be attained by the most scrupulous of the rules of art of thus her familiar and social actions with a charm that goes directly to the heart we have traced the traveller to the chamber of her rest and it is not in the choice of this room alone but in its furniture and general aspect	41
that she reads the cheering truth of a care having been exercised over all it contains in strict reference to herself not merely as an honoured guest but as a lover of this or that small article of comfort or convenience which in the world of comparative strangers amongst whom has been habits of living she has seldom thought it worth her while to for and still less frequently has had referred to her choice now it is evident that the mistress of the house herself must have heen here with her own hand she must have placed upon the table the favourite toilet cushion worked by a friend who was alike dear to herself and her guest with her own hand she must have selected the snow white linen and laid out not in conspicuous a few volumes calculated for the hours of silent meditation when her friend shall be alone it is impossible that the services of the most faithful domestic should be able to convey half the heart felt meaning indicated by these few familiar acts so richly worth their cost it is not from the circumstance of having all our wants supplied that the most lively satisfaction is derived it is from the cheering fact that we ourselves in our individual capacity have been the object of so much faithful recollection and love instead therefore of regarding it as a subject for murmuring and complaint that her means of personal indulgence do not supply her with a greater of the true english woman ought rather to esteem it a privilege that her station in life is such as to place her in the way of this rational and refined enjoyment we cannot imagine the first day of hospitable welcome complete without our being introduced to that con of comforts an early tea on descending from her chamber then she finds all things in readiness t fu and her attention if th women of hot distracted by apologies for what is not there but what on such occasions frequently might have been at the cost of half the effort required for an elaborate excuse as if the fairy order had been at work the table is spread with things most agreeable after weary travel and the guest instead of being pressed to eat with such that she begins to think her visit has no other object is only interrupted by kind inquiries relating to home associations and is into a of her meal by being drawn out into a detail of the events of her journey as the evening passes on their conversation becomes more intimate and while it in interest that full of the soul takes place under which whatever english women may be in the superficial intercourse of polished life i have no scruple in saying that as fireside companions they are the most delightful upon earth there are such vivid such touches of native humour such deep well springs of feeling beyond their placid exterior that when they dare to come forth and throw themselves upon the charity or affection of their hearers one is into a fascination the more intense because it originality of thought with gentle manners and in a peculiar and forcible way the cherished recollections of the past with the fresh warm colouring of the present hour it is not amidst masses of society that the true english woman can exhibit her native powers of con it is when two are met with perhaps a husband or a brother for a third and the midnight hour domestic habits of on and yet they take no note of time for they are opening out their separate store of treasures from the deep of memory sharing them with each other and all with such bright of the future as none but a woman s imagination can enjoy with faith in their reality or perhaps they are consulting upon some difficult point of duty or with each other in affliction and then where shall we look but to the english woman for the patient listener the faithful the of each virtuous purpose the keen in points of doubtful merit and the in every hour of need it would be too tedious and might to some appear too trifling were i to trace out the conduct of the being here described through more of the familiar scenes presented by domestic life it may also be thought by some who know little of women in this capacity that i am drawing merely from imagination others will know that my colouring is true that human life in some of its passages has secrets of moral excellence in the female character presenting objects as lovely as ever were revealed to the s fancy alas for those whose memory alone supplies them with the materials for this who now can only feel that things were the charge of trifling is one i should be sorry to in writing on a subject so serious as the domestic morals of women yet how to enter into a detail sufficiently minute without i confess i do not clearly see i must therefore again pause and ask the reader in my own thb of defence of what the ordinary life of a woman of the middle class of society is composed but a mass of trifles out of which arises the happiness or the misery of a numerous and important portion of the human race i would also ask what is a woman who trifles she may possibly enjoy with dignity a in the temple of fame but she ought never to descend from her to mingle with the social circle around the living blaze of the domestic hearth those quiet virtues which are ever the most lovely in the female character must necessarily be the most difficult to define are so much more felt than so much better understood than described that to give them a name would	41
be impossible and even to them in an ideal picture might not perhaps convey to the mind of the any adequate idea of their importance but as in painting a finished picture the skill of the artist is not only required in the general outline but is equally requisite in the so the perfection of the female character b not sufficiently indicated by saying she is possessed of every virtue unless we point out the individual instances upon which those virtues are brought to bear and the more minute and delicate their aspect if they are but frequently presented to our notice the stronger is our con that virtuous principle is the ground work of the whole with regard to the particular instance already described the case may perhaps be more clearly illustrated by adding picture of an opposite description in order to ascertain m i hat pf points the two cases habits ow for this purpose we will imagine a woman distinguished by no extreme of character receiving her guest under precisely the same circumstances as the one already described in this case the is permitted to see that her hostess has reluctantly laid down her book at the latest possible period of time which politeness would allow or her guest has remained twenty minutes in a vacant and by no means inviting parlour she comes toiling up from the kitchen with a countenance that makes it dreadful to be adding to her daily by placing at her table and she answers the usual inquiries of her friend as to her state of health with a minute detail of the various phenomena of a headache with which she has that morning been attacked the one domestic is then called up and wo that family whose daily services by its individual members towards each other all from one domestic the one domestic then is ordered in the hearing of the guest to take all the luggage up stairs to bring hot water to turn the carpets run for the best and see that tea is ready by the time the friend comes down the party then a accompanied by the panting servant into a room upon which no kind care has been bestowed it may possibly be neat so neat that the guest it never has been and is not yet intended to be used yes every thing is in its place but a general blank the whole and it is not the least of the disappointments experienced by our guest that she finds no water to refresh her aching temples the mistress of the house is angry at this neglect and rings the bell the servant of from the kitchen to the highest room to learn that she mast go down again and return before half the catalogue of her faults has been told on such errands as this she is employed until the party descend to the parlour where the bell is again rung more and tea is ordered to be brought in the mean time the fire has to the lowest bar the mistress looks for coals but the usual is empty she feels as if there were a conspiracy against her there is there can be no one to blame but the servant and thus her is by complaints against servants in general and her own in particular with these complaints and often repeated apologies the time is occupied until the appearance of the long expected meal when the guest is pressed to partake of a not by the comments of her hostess or the harassed and forlorn appearance of an over worked domestic the mistress of this house may all the while be glad to see her guest and may really regard her as an intimate and valued friend but never having made it an object to practise the domestic virtue of making others happy she knows not how to convey any better idea of a welcome than by words she therefore sets deliberately to work to describe how h she herself in receiving so dear a friend wishes some third party were at home hopes to be able to amuse her tells of the parties she has engaged for each successive evening brings out a pile of fears her guest is weary and lastly at a very early hour rings for the chamber that her would like to retire habits ov it needless to observe that the of do retire upon this hint and it is equally needless to add that the individual here described fails to exhibit the of the english whose peculiar charm is that of happiness without appearing as the agent in its it is from the unseen but active principle of disinterested love ever working at her heart that she enters with a perception as as might be supposed to belong to a angel into the peculiar feelings and tones of character those around her applying the key of sympathy to all they suffer or enjoy to all they fear or hope until she becomes identified as it were with their very being her own existence with theirs and makes her society essential to their highest earthly enjoyment if a heightened degree of earthly enjoyment were all we could expect to obtain by this line of conduct i should still be to think the effect produced would be richly worth our pains but i must again repeat that the great aim of a christian woman will always be so to make others happy that their feelings shall be to the reception of better thoughts than those which relate to mere personal enjoyment so to make others happy as to win them over to a full perception of the loveliness of those christian virtues which her own life and conduct show forth the of chapter viii habits c n n and the subject of consideration might be continued to almost	41
any extent since it seems either to comprehend or to be closely connected with all that is morally excellent in woman we shall however confine our attention to only a few more of those important branches in which this fertile theme demands our serious thought towards those who are beneath us in pecuniary circumstances and towards those with whom we are associated in the nearest domestic relations the young and inexperienced having never themselves tasted the cup of are in a great measure for not knowing how to treat the morbid and susceptible feelings which the fact of having drank deeply of that cup often produces nor is it easy to communicate to their minds any idea of the extreme of suffering to which this tone of feeling may extend much may be done however by habits of consideration by endeavouring sometimes to identify themselves with those who suffer by asking how it would be with th n if their parents had fallen habits of below by the world is called if they were obliged to seek the means of themselves if they were admitted into families by and only on condition that they should remain until another home could be found in which their own hands might minister to their necessities there is no class of beings whose circumstances altogether are more calculated to call forth our tenderest sympathies those delicate females whose fireside comforts are broken up by the adverse turn of their pecuniary affairs and who are consequently sent forth to share the lot of families unknown to them and to throw themselves upon the kindness and consideration of strangers it is in cases of this kind especially that we see the importance of having cultivated the moral faculties of having into the mind those sound principles of integrity usefulness and moral responsibility which in proportion as they become the foundation of our familiar and daily conduct necessarily invest every act of duty with a cheerfulness which cannot fail to be acceptable in the sight of that merciful creator who alone is capable of what is irksome or repulsive to the natural feelings into sources of gratitude and delight the frequent occurrence of such changes in the pecuniary affairs of english families as render it necessary for the female members to be thus is therefore one amongst the many reasons why the effects of that false refinement which is gradually increasing amongst the female part of english society should be by the efforts of the well of their country and thb of england high time it is that all our energies should be roused not by any means to the progress of intellect but to force along with it the growth of sound principles and the increase of moral power persons who are reduced in their pecuniary circumstances are generally judged of as we judge our servants and those who are bom to humble means they are required to have no and the public cry is especially directed against them if they the least symptom of pride indeed so great is our of this particular fault that we c en make even a slight evidence of its existence a plea for the of our and our favour we forget that the pride of the individuals in question has perhaps been to throughout the whole of their former lives and that they no more than we can their soul sins as they give up the luxuries they are no longer able to procure we forget also that their circumstances are calculated in an especial manner to rouse the lurking evil even had it never been conspicuous in their characters before tlie man who safely upon the stream of worldly prosperity with his early companions a little lower than himself can afford to be gracious and but when he begins to sink and feels the same companions struggling to float past him and finally leaving him to contend with his difficulties his feelings towards them undergo a total change he accounts himself an injured man and becomes a prey to envy disappointment and wounded pride the world s more than his actual his peace of mind he to habits of look tor and to expect it even where it does not exist in the stranger s eye he reads contempt and neglect he as it were surrounded by bleeding at every pore and wounded by every thing with which he comes in contact how absurd is the exclamation we hear from the prosperous and how worse than absurd for a man to be feeling in this manner because he has lost a few hundreds and yet men do feel to such a degree that nothing but religion can enable them to bear such with calmness and resignation and even when supported by religion it has pleased our heavenly father to accompany these of his providence with a degree of suffering to which no human mind is insensible it is generally regarded as the extreme of benevolence if in our intercourse with such persons we treat them exactly as we did in more prosperous days and few there are who can at all times withhold expressions equivalent to these how unreasonable it is to expect so much attention now it is not likely we can ask that family to meet our friends we should be willing still to notice them in a private way if they would but be u grateful more and thus they are allowed to pass away from our social to be called upon perhaps at their own humble but by no means to be invited in return lest some of our friends should detect us in the act of performing the offices of hospitality to a person in a coat and yet this family may have done nothing worse than thousands are doing every day than thb of even our richest and dearest friends are and we may know	41
it all the while it the heart to think of these things and to reflect how far how very r even the good and the kind fall short of that beautiful and heart touching of our blessed when thou a feast call the poor the the lame the blind the wealthy and distinguished man with whom we have but a slight acquaintance sends his son into our neighbourhood on business or pleasure we hear of his coming and persuade ourselves it is but respectful to invite him to be our guest it is at the expense of our domestic comfort that we entertain him but that is nothing difficulties appear on every hand to vanish as soon as they appear we even persuade ourselves that a sort of merit to our doing all in our power to accommodate the son of so distinguished a person the poor widow perhaps our relative sends her son to town to seek a situation and we hear of aw coming we knew his mother in more prosperous days she was a worthy woman then but her husband died and the necessarily fell away from what they had been it be at all incumbent upon us to ask such young men a these to our houses they might come in our domestic comfort would be sacrificed and it is the duty of every one to maintain the peace and order of their own household thus the widow s son is allowed to wander up and down the streets to resort to expensive lodging houses and to purchase with the provided by his mother from domestic habits of her slender means that accommodation which a little christian hospitality might have spared him we complain that our streets are thronged on the sabbath day with troops of idle young men and i who afford a painful spectacle to those who pass them on their way to public ship how many of these and in business are actually driven into the streets from very want of any thing like a hospitable or social home i am by no means prepared to say how far christian benevolence acted out towards this of the community would lead us to give up our domestic comfort for their and for the sake of preserving them from harm but i do know it would lead us to t a very different treatment of them from that which and consider also that these duties rest especially with women it is not easy for a man who has to fill the office of master to a number of and during e hours of business to before them at his own fireside but a considerate and high woman may without loss of dignity and certainly without loss of respect make them feel that she regards it as her duty to be their friend as well as their mistress and that she looks upon herself as under a sacred obligation to advise them in difficulties to guard their welfare and promote their comfort simply because the all wise of human affairs has seen meet to place them within the sphere of her influence i have devoted a chapter to the influence of english women many chapters might be filled with the duties of thb of s wives towards the young people employed in their husband s affairs and the responsibility to them for the tone of moral character which such persons exhibit through the whole of their after lives of how little value in this point of view is the immense variety of generally acquired at school compared with the and tact that would enable a woman to extend her influence among the class of persons here described and the principle that would lead her to turn such influence to the best account how many a mother s heart would be made glad by finding when her son returned to his home that he had experienced something of a mother s kindness from his master s wife and how many a father would rejoice that his child had been preserved from the temptations of a city life by the good feeling that was cherished and kept alive at his master s fireside it is for circumstances such as these that a large of the young women of england now the process of education have to prepare not to imitate the they read of but to plunge into the actual cares and duties and of every day existence they will probably have little time either for drawing or music may seldom be spoken to in a foreign tongue and hardly have any opportunity of displaying half the amount of verbal knowledge with which their memories have been stored but they will if they are at all intent upon ing the end of their existence have to themselves every what is best to be done for the good and the happiness of those around them for this great and a purpose it is of the highest importance that they habits of should cultivate habits of consideration for how else can they expect to enter into the states of mind and modes of feeling of those with whom they associate so as to render the means they use effectual to the end desired it happens to almost all families in the middle rank of life in england that they are directly or connected with relatives whose pecuniary means are much more limited than their own to these as well as to persons of recently decayed fortune it is generally thought highly to extend the common of society it no to this class of individuals to call them poor relations since the poor are often brought into a state of wholesome discipline which eventually places them higher than the rich in the scale of moral worth the poor relation may possibly have known in very early life what it was to enjoy all the that ample means	41
afford but she becomes at last a sort of useful to an uncle s or a brother s or is invited by her cousins whenever they happen to be in with their plain work when one of the family wants nursing through a tedious or when they are going abroad and require some one to overlook the household in their absence the poor relation in the first place is shown up stairs into a kind of tolerable where the walls are and where a little bed with blue check curtains is prepared for her accommodation they hope she will not mind sleeping in the indeed are sure she will not she is such a dear good creature besides they all like the for the view it commands and mamma says it is the most comfortable room in the house yet somehow or the women of england t ther the young ladies never in the themselves and considering it is the most desirable room in the house and commands so excellent a view it is occupied the poor relation is then introduced to company without a name is spoken of as the person staying at mrs so and so s and being told that she need not sit longer than is agreeable to her after meals is fairly into office by being informed that the south chamber is very warm without a fire and has a good light too so that she can see an hour longer there than in any other here the different members of the family bring their work for her to do looking round every time they enter with a hope that she does not feel cold from the young lady of twenty years to the child of three a demand is made upon her for the supply of all absent buttons and all broken strings all the stockings up against her coming are brought to her to be all borders to all linen to be mended and this of work is the natural consequence of her having shown symptoms of a desire to be generally agreeable but if no such desire has been exhibited wo the poor relation who a visit to a rich one where kindly feeling and habits of consideration have never been cultivated i remember it was very startling to me in my youth and appeared to me at that time a contradiction in human nature that while people had comfortable homes and were surrounded by everything that could minister to enjoyment they were often invited out to partake of the of their friends and so pressed to such habits of visits that it seemed as if tl ir friends could never be weary of their society but let the same individuals have no home let them be placed in circumstances calculated to render an invitation peculiarly acceptable and it was difficulty obtained or not obtained at all though in all respects as agreeable as in former days they were not pressed to stay beyond a very limited period and who had been the most to enjoy the favour of their company suddenly found their so exceedingly small that they could not invite any guest to partake of their hospitality but these my sisters are disgraceful ways for woman warm hearted generous noble minded woman to fall into from men we expect not all those little of behaviour and feeling that would tend to heal the wounds of their necessary pursuits deprive them of many opportunities of making the unfortunate and afflicted feel that amidst the wreck of their worldly hopes they have at least retained some moral dignity in the estimation of their friends but from woman we do look for some some tenderness of heart among the sordid and selfish pursuits of this life and never do they rise to such true eminence as when they bestow these and apply this tenderness to the broken in spirit the neglected and the desolate who are incapable of rendering them any return harassed by the cares and of a sordid world and disappointed in the high promise of our early youth neglected perhaps despised where we had hoped to find protection and support in the hour of trial driven out tm or from the temples of our soul s it is to woman that we look for the mantle of charity to cast over the bosom for the drop of sweetness to mingle with our bitter cup we stretch our eyes over the wide tumultuous ocean of life for some spot on which our ark may rest we send forth the and it returns not but the dove comes back with the olive branch and we hail it as a of safety and peace although it must be confessed that women are sometimes too of the tender offices of kindness towards those who have no immediate claim upon their affections there remains some excuse for this particular species of in the general of society and in the example of discreet and prudent persons who deem it to in any conspicuous manner from the beaten track of torn no excuse however can be found for those who permit the closer ties of relationship to exist without endeavouring to into the same bond all the tender sympathies of which the human heart is capable brothers and sisters are so associated in english homes as materially to promote each other s happiness by the habits of kindness and consideration which they cultivate and when a strong friendship can be formed between such parties it is perhaps one of the most faithful and rested of any which the aspect of human life presents a young man of kind and social fi is often glad to find in his sister a substitute for what he afterwards more permanently in a wife and young women are not backward in returning this affection by a love as confiding and almost as tender as	41
they are capable of feeling their habits of intercourse has also the charm of early association which no later formed acquaintance can supply they have shared the sunny hours of childhood together and when the young man goes forth into the world the love of his sister is like a about his heart women however must be watchful and to establish this intimate and to keep entire the golden cord by which they are thus bound affection does not come by relationship alone and never yet was the of man fully and engaged by woman without some means being adopted on her part to increase or preserve his happiness the childish and most fondness that means nothing but i love you goes but a little way to reach the heart of man but let his home be made more comfortable let his peculiarities of habit and temper be consulted and social and familiar provided for his daily use and unless he is ungrateful beyond the common average of mankind he will be sure to regard the source from whence his comforts flow with extreme complacency and not with affection on the other hand let the sister possess all that of attachment which young ladies are apt to believe they let her hang about his neck at parting and his face with her tears if she has not taken the trouble to rise and prepare his early meal but has allowed him to depend upon the servant or to prepare it for himself it is very questionable whether that brother could be made to believe in her affection and certainly he would be far from feeling its value if again they read some interesting volume together if she her willing s and her thb of feelings his entering into all the trains of thought and recollection which two congenial minds are capable of awakening in each other and if after the book is closed he goes up into his chamber late on the saturday night and finds his linen and to with the gloves he had ten times asked to have mended remaining untouched where he had them he soon loses the impression of the social hour he had been spending and wishes that instead of an idle sister he had a faithful and industrious wife he reasons and reasons rightly thai while his sister is to share with him all that is most agreeable to herself she is by no means willing to do for his sake what is not agreeable and he his argument with the conviction that notwithstanding her l rs is not true affection i do not mean that sisters ought to be the servants of their brothers or that they should not where abound leave the practical part of these duties to them all that is wanted is stronger evidence of their and their for their brother s real comfort the manner in which this evidence shall be given must still be to their judgment and their circumstances there are however a few simple rules by which i should suppose all kindly women would be willing to be guided no woman in the enjoyment of health should allow her brother to prepare his own meals at any time of the day if it were possible for her to do it for him no woman should allow her brother to put on linen in a state of to wear gloves or stockings in want of mending or to return home without finding a neat parlour a place to domestic habits of sit down without asking for it and a cheerful invitation to partake of necessary refreshment all this i believe is often done where the brother is a gentlemanly attractive and person in short a person to be proud of in company and pleased with in private but a brother is a brother still even where these attractions do not exist where the duty is most irksome the moral responsibility is precisely the same as where it is most pleasing besides who knows what female influence may not effect it is scarcely probable that a younger brother treated by his sisters with perpetual contempt almost upon disgust regarded as an intolerable bore and got rid of by every practicable means will grow up into a interesting and social man or if he should he would certainly reserve these qualities for exercise beyond the circle of his own fireside and for the benefit of those who could appreciate him better than his sisters the virtue of consideration in the intercourse of sisters brothers is never more felt than in the sacred duty of warning them of moral evil and encouraging them in good here we see in an especial manner the advantages arising from habits of personal attention and kindness a woman who stands aloof from the common offices of domestic usefulness may very properly extend her advice to a husband a brother or a son but when she has faithfully pointed out the fault she would correct she must leave the object of her solicitude with his wounded self love and his irritated feelings she has done her duty and the most frequently remain thb women of england ing upon the mind of the other party is either that she has done it in anger or that it is impossible she can love a being of whom she such hard thoughts the sister who is accustomed to employ her hands in the services of domestic life is on these occasions rich in resources she feels the pain she has been compelled to give and how much she has to make up it is a time for effort but it must be effort without display in a gentle and manner she does some extra service for her brother choosing what would otherwise be degrading in its own nature in order to prove in the most delicate manner that though she can see a fault in	41
him she still herself his inferior and though she is cruel enough to point it out her love is yet so deep and pure as to every service she can render him it is impossible for the human heart to resist this kind of evidence and hence arises the strong influence that women possess over the moral feelings of those with whom they are intimately associated if such then be the effect of kindness and consideration upon the heart of man what must we expect when it in all its force and all its sweetness upon that of woman in her intercourse with man it is impossible but that woman feel her own inferiority and it is right that it should be so yet feeling this it is also impossible but that the weight oi social and moral duties she is called upon to perform must to an spirit at times appear oppressive she has innumerable sources of too in which no man can partake and from the very weakness and of her own nature she has need of habits of sympathies which it would be impossible for him to render she does not meet him upon equal terms her part is to make sacrifices in order that his enjoyment may be en she does this with a willing spirit but from error of judgment or want of consideration she does it so often without producing any adequate result and so often without grateful acknowledgment that her spirit sometimes sinks within her and she back from the cares and anxieties of every day with a feeling that the burden of life is too heavy to be borne nor is a man to be blamed for this he knows not half the foolish fears that her breast he could not be made to know still less to understand the intensity of her of suffering from slight and what to him would appear inadequate causes but women do know what their sex is formed to suffer and for this very reason there is sometimes a bond existing between sisters the most the most pure and disinterested of any description of affection which this world affords i am the more inclined to think that the strength of this bond arises chiefly out of their mutual knowledge of each other s of receiving pain because in families whose circumstances are uniformly easy and who have never known the of any deep affliction we see the painful spectacle of sisters forming obstacles to each other in their progress both to and eternal happiness they seem to think the hey day of life so unlikely to be clouded that they can afford and to the sunshine that would otherwise fall upon each other s path or to calculate so confidently upon the the women of england continued of the stream of time that they drive each other upon the rocks and the which even in the glad season of youth will occasionally appear while the very fact of knowing each other s weak points of character while it ought to excite their utmost tenderness only affords them subjects for sarcasm and biting scorn i have heard of in a certain highly civilized metropolis who adopt the cruel practice of a or wounded part if they can find one in the wretched animals they drive but i hardly think the practice as it is demands our condemnation more than that of the women who are thus false and cruel to each other who because they know exactly where to wound apply the instrument of torture to the mind and with the worst effect let us glance hastily over the humiliating supposition that such a does actually exist amongst women let us glance hastily too over the long train of minute and evils which the exercise of such a is calculated to produce the wounded feeling the imagined injury the suspicious dread the bitter retort and the secretly cherished revenge it is not for those who practise such habits to say i mean no harm i love my sister and would do her any signal service in my power opportunities of performing signal services do not often fall in our way but while we wait for these we have opportunities innumerable of soothing or the feelings of others as our own dispositions prompt of or f affection or of inspiring habits of deuce and these ends are easily obtained by the manner in which we conduct ourselves towards those whom providence has placed immediately around us so many young women however escape the censure here implied by their self complacency on the score of general kindness that it may perhaps be as well to speak more on this important subject it is not then to direct that i refer but to that general absence of kind consideration which produces the same effect perhaps one sister is elated at the success of some of her plans and in the midst of her joy she finds herself with all the air of contempt by another perhaps one sister is rather unusually depressed in spirits from some cause the others pretend to weep and make her gravity the subject of their merriment perhaps in a moment of extreme embarrassment she has committed some breach of good breeding or looked awkward or spoken foolishly she finds afterwards that watchful eyes have been upon her and that her every tone and movement have been the subject of ridicule in a little of her sisters and her friends above all perhaps she has gone a little too far in meeting the attentions of the other sex and a merciless is against her with her sisters at its head besides all this there are often the strong wills of both parties set in opposition to each other with a that time itself is unable to subdue for if from the necessity of circumstances one sister has on one occasion been compelled	41
to give way she is only fortified with fresh for the next point of dispute that she may enjoy thb of england her turn of victory and triumph these are often about the merest trifles in the world things so entirely worthless and unimportant in themselves that to find they have been the cause of angry words or bitter feelings may well excite our astonishment at the same time that it ought to teach us fresh lessons of distrust of ourselves of humility and watchful care it is in this manner that sisters will sometimes their early days and make what ought to be the bower of repose a scene of and strife but let us change this harsh picture and turn to the hours of youthful love when sisters who have shared one home in child hood then separated by adverse circumstances return after the lapse of years to enjoy a few brief days of beneath the same roof again how lovely then are the morning hours when they rise with the sun to out the day they seat themselves in the old window where their little childish hands were wont to pluck the of the rambling vine they look out upon the lawn and it is arrayed in the same green as when they there the summer apple tree from whence they shook the rosy fruit has moss upon its boughs and the spreading ash reminds them they are no longer able to climb its branch what have they known what change of place and circumstance have they experienced since they planted the small that now stands a stately willow by the stream we will not ask what cruel necessity first drove them separately from this peaceful abode what fell on their prospects what ruin on their hopes are they not sisters unchanged in domestic habits of their affection and in this very consciousness they have a world of wealth where is the keen contemptuous e of satire now where are the the the words of provocation they would esteem it to profane that place and hour with other thoughts than those of kindness the and the beam have vanished from their eyes they know each other s faults but they behold them only to pity and forgive or speak of them only to correct each heart is laid bare before the others and the oil and the wine are poured in to heal the wounds which the stranger has made each has her own store of painful experience to and she to find her sister s greater than her own has had her share of insult coldness and neglect and she is roused to indignation by hearing that her sister has had the same self becomes as nothing in comparison with the intense interest excited by a sister s experience and as the secret anxieties of each bosom are revealed fresh floods of tenderness are called forth and the early bond of childhood strengthened by and by time is woven yet more closely around the hearts of all thus they go forth into the world again strong in the confidence of that love which formed the sunshine of their childhood and is now the solace of their years they may weep the tears of the alien in the stranger s home but they look forward to the summer days of heart warm confidence when they shall meet again with the loveliest and the most beloved of all earth s treasures and the wintry hours pass over them of half their power to if such be the experience and such the of thb women op sisters separated by what must be the privileged lot of those who without any change of fortune any falling off from the promise of early life or any learn the happy art of finding their enjoyment in each other by studying what will make each other happy there may be faithful formed in after years but where a sister is a sister s friend there can be none so tender and none so true for a brother she may possibly entertain a more romantic attachment because the difference in their circumstances may afford more to interest their feelings but there is one universal point of failure in the friendship that exists between brothers and sisters when a man he finds in his wife all that he valued in his sister with a more sense of certainty in its possession and when a woman she finds all that she needed in the way of friendship and protection with more of tenderness of interest and identity than it was possible for her to experience in the affection of her brother hence there arises even in the breast of youth a suspicion that this friendship cannot last and the breaking up of those in which the sister has regulated the domestic affairs of her brother ia often a melancholy proof that the termination of their intimacy ought to have been calculated upon with more certainty than it generally is with sisters the case is widely different they may seek in vain through all the high and noble attributes of man for that which is to be found alone in the true heart of woman and weak themselves susceptible dependent and holding their happiness as it were with a sword suspended domestic habits of above their heads they have need to be faithful to each other no friend in after life can know so well as a sister what is the peculiar and natural bias of the character education may change the manners and circumstances may call new faculties to light but the old remains at the heart s core and a sister knows it well women often share with other friends in which their sisters take no part but they have not together over that garden whose very weeds are lovely the fertile and luxuriant garden of childhood they	41
have not drank together at that fountain whose waters are ever bright and pure the early fountain of domestic joy and the absence of this one charm in their friendship must necessarily shut them out from in a world of associations more dear more beautiful and more enduring than the longest after life can supply i know not how it is with others but it seems to me that there never is there never can be amusement so original and so with glee as that which is enjoyed amongst happy sisters at their own fireside or in their chamber where one hardly would deny them au their idle hours of laughter and delight the very circumstances which to one alone would have been a burden of heavy care when in are nothing and the mere fact of talking over all their daily trials sets every bosom free to beat and bound with a new life we must not however forget it is in seasons of affliction that we prove the real value of the deep well of a sister s love other hands and hands perhaps as skilful thb of england may smooth our couch in sickness other voices may speak words of kindness in our hour of need and other eyes may upon us with tenderness and love but can they ever be like the hands that joined with ours in the rosy wreaths of infancy the voices that spoke sweetly to os in the tones of childhood the eyes that gazed with ours in all the wonder of first dawning thought abroad upon the beautiful creation over the earth and sea the green hills and the waving woods and up to the heavens that page of glory too bright for human eye to read no there is something in the home fellowship of early life that we cannot if we would shake off in the days of darkness and distress when sickness clouds the brow and grief sits heavily upon the heart it is then that we pine for the hand the voice that was an echo to our own and the kindred countenance so in our childhood and sisters who are kindly one towards another are not slow to answer this appeal of nature tender and women are not backward to make sacrifices in such a cause they will hasten upon difficult and dangerous journeys without feeling the perils they undergo the anticipated accidents of time and chance have no weight with them for is by the overwhelming power of their obstacles cannot hinder nor persuasion their purpose a sister and they esteem it their highest privilege to assert in defiance of all opposition the claims of a sister s love they have an right to share in her calamity whatever it may be and this right they will not resign to another domestic habits of but what shall stay my pen when i touch upon this fertile and inexhaustible theme sisters who have never known the deepest influence of a sister s love will not be enabled from any definition i can offer to the purity and the refreshing power of this of human happiness sisters who have known this will also know that its height and its depth are beyond the power of language to describe that it is indeed the love which many waters cannot neither can the floods drown it is it not then worth all the cost of the most consideration the most careful kindness to win this treasure and to make it ours to purchase this and to wear it next our hearts i have pointed out some of the means by which it may be lost or won i will now point out the most important reasons why it should be cherished with sisters have an almost unbounded influence over each other and all influence a degree of moral responsibility the tone and temper of the human mind must be closely watched and intimately studied in order to apply with effect the mean i of benefit the most zealous to do good may fail for want of opportunity but opportunity never can be wanting to those who share the same domestic hearth who sit at the same board and occupy the same chamber of rest there must with such be of the heart before each other there must be seasons for advice and for impart ing instruction which the stranger never can but without the practice of those habits of kindness and of england consideration so earnestly recommended here the nearest relative even the sister may be placed on the same footing as the stranger and have no more familiar access to the heart than the mere acquaintance it is therefore most important to the true christian whose desire is to invite others to a in the blessings she that she should seek to promote happiness of those around her in such a way as to render them easy and familiar in her presence and to convince that she is in word and deed their friend until this object is attained little good can be done in the way of influence but this secured innumerable channels are opened by which an enlightened mind may operate upon others we will imagine the case of a sister whose feelings have been recently impressed with the importance of some hitherto duty and who at a loss how to begin with that improvement in her daily conduct which conscience points out as necessary to her peace the notice of the world abashed at the idea of assuming more than she has been ned to maintain with what fear and trembling will such a one in her closet or her chamber at the close of the summer s evening or by the last glimmer of the winter s fire when she and her sister share the silent hours of night together the burden of her spirit and reveal the inner	41
workings of her troubled mind what should we say of a sister who treated this confidence with treachery with ridicule or what should we say but that she to find the heart she had thus insulted a sealed book to her for ever domestic habits of what should we say on the other hand of her who met this confidence with tenderness and respect that she enjoyed one of the greatest privileges permitted us in this our imperfect and degraded state the privilege of consolation and instruction at the same time and of binding to her bosom the fond affection of a sister as her comfort and support through all her after years it is a common remark for sisters to make upon each other that they would have paid some deference to the religious scruple or the pious wish had it originated with a more consistent person they should remember that there must be a dawning of imperfect light to in the perfect day and that he who the first of vegetation an act equivalent to that of him who the stately tree they should remember also it is not only the great and public efforts of christian benevolence and charity that are owned of rod and blessed with his approval but that at the hour of midnight in the secret chamber and when the world takes no of our actions his eye them and his ear is open to detect the slightest whisper that its blessing or its to the heart of a familiar friend tub of england chapter ix habits consideration and kindness there yet remain some aspects of life which it is impossible to pass over without the most earnest solicitude that even if in all other woman should forget her she might remember what is due from her in these it is then to the sacred and bond between a daughter and her parents that our attention must now be given it would seem but reasonable to suppose that as soon as an amiable young woman of even partially enlightened mind attained that stage of maturity when most rational beings begin to make use of their own powers of observation she would naturally be led to reflect upon the situation of her mother to contemplate her character and habits and to regard with sympathy at least the daily and and anxieties which the nature of her domestic circumstances renders it necessary for her to undergo if the young person has brothers or sisters less advanced in life than herself she cannot fail to observe the with which all their wants are provided for by maternal domestic habits of care as well as the self denial and disinterested love by which their safety is guarded and their happiness preserved it is equally reasonable to suppose that having such interesting subjects of grateful and affectionate consideration continually present to her eye and to her mind the young person would reason thus in this manner my mother has watched over me through long nights of weariness and exhaustion she has rocked me in her arms and the sighs of her own bosom from the fear of disturbing my repose not only has she denied herself every amusement and every gratification that would have drawn her away from the sphere of my childish but also the necessary for the preservation of her health until her cheek grew pale and her step feeble in my service i was then unable to make any other return than by my caresses and often when she was the most weary or the most my selfishness was the most requiring thus i have incurred a debt of gratitude for the of which the limit of a natural life will scarcely be sufficient the summer of her existence is mine is yet to come i will so cultivate my feelings and my habits as to enjoy the happiness of sharing her domestic burdens and thus prove to her that i am not of the benefit i have myself derived from the long suffering of a mother s love do we find this to be the prevailing feeling amongst the young ladies of the present day do we find the respected and mother so cherished that she is the women of england permitted to sit in perfect peace the genius as she ought to be over every department of domestic comfort her cares lightened by with her affectionate daughters her mind relieved of its burdens by their watchful love herself arrayed in the best attire as a of her retirement from active duty and smiling as the steps of time glide past her because she knows that younger feet are walking in her own sweet ways of and peace is this the picture presented in the present day by the far homes of england do we not rather find the mother the faithful and time worn mother of the family not only the moving spring of all domestic management but the actual working power by which every household plan is carried into practical effect i refer of course to cases where are few and pecuniary means not over abundant where we see the mother hastening with anxious solicitude to answer every call form every member of the family as if her part in the duties of life was not only to have waited upon her children in infancy but to conduct them to an easy and luxurious old age in short to spare their feet from walking their hands from labour and their heads from thought i know that it is mistaken kindness in the mother to al low herself thus to become a household i know also that young ladies are easily satisfied with what appears to them a reasonable excuse that mamma prefers doing all these things herself that she is such a dear kind soul they would not rob her even of the merit of mending their own garments	41
but let me ask how often she prefers habits of ing these things herself simply because of their unwilling ness to do them and how their manner when they have been asked to relieve her has wounded her patient spirit and rendered it less irksome to her to do the hardest manual labour than to ask them again let me remind them also that there is a habit of doing things so awkwardly that you will not be likely to be called upon for your services a second time and whether by accident or design i will not presume to say but some young ladies certainly appear to be great in this method of per forming their duties it is a most painful spectacle in families where the mother is the to see the daughters dressed at their ease with their drawing their music their fancy work and their light reading themselves of the lapse of hours days and weeks and never dreaming of their but as a necessary consequence of the neglect of duty growing weary of their useless lives laying hold of every newly invented to rouse their drooping energies and their te when they dare not blame their god for having placed them where they are these individuals will often tell you with an air of affected compassion for who can believe it real that poor dear mamma is working herself to death yet no sooner do you propose that they should assist her than they declare she is quite in her element in short that she would never be happy if she had only half as much to do i have before observed that it is not difficult to ascertain on entering a family whether the female of thb of it are or are not by habits of kindness and con and in no instance is it more easily detected than in the behaviour of the daughters to their mother we have probably all seen elegant and accomplished young ladies doing the honours of the house to their guests by spreading before them that lavish profusion of books and pictures with which every table of every drawing room is in these modern times adorned we have heard them with taste and enthusiasm upon the works of art upon the beauties of foreign scenery and the delights of travelling abroad while the mother is simultaneously engaged in the management of the about to be spread before the company or in placing the last leaf of around the upon which her daughters have never condescended to bestow a thought it is easy in these cases to see by the anxious and appearance of the mistress of the house when she does at last appear that she has no assistance but that which a very limited number of could render behind the scenes that every variety of the which her guests are pressed to partake of has cost her both trouble to invent and labour to prepare and we feel that we are ourselves too much at her expense there is a painful contrast between the care and anxiety depicted on her brow and the indifference the real or pretended ignorance with which the young ladies speak when it is absolutely necessary of any of those which they regard as belonging exclusively to the department of mothers and servants if by any possible the good woman to the habits of of her wishing purely for the sake of her guests that she had added a little more of the salt or the indications of accompanied by symptoms of indignation and disgust immediately manifest themselves amongst the young ladies and they really wonder what mamma will be absurd enough to say next it is in such families as this that not only on days of leisure but on days when extra are sure to be wanted in the home department the daughters always find some pressing call upon their attention out of doors they have their morning calls to make and there is that mysterious to attend to that never has an end indeed one would almost think from the with which they resort to some of the most fashionable shops in town that each of these young ladies had a peculiar taste for the mode of life prevailing in this particular sphere of exertion were it not for the indignation she at the remotest hint upon the duty of assisting her father in his it is astonishing how duties out of doors upon persons who are glad of any excuse to escape from those at home no one can deny the necessity they are under of pursuing that course of mental improvement begun at school and there are lectures on every science to be attended borrowed books to be returned and little of people to join in their morning it is also curious to observe that these ladies who can with difficulty be induced to move ut in their own homes even to spare their mother s feet who esteem it an act of oppression in her to send them to the highest thb women of lain apartment of the house and of degradation in themselves to descend to the lowest it is curious to observe how these regard themselves as under an absolute necessity to walk out every day for their health and how they choose that precise time for walking when their mothers are most busy and their domestic peace by a natural consequence most likely to be invaded i would touch with extreme delicacy upon another branch of public occupation because i believe it to be entered upon in innumerable instances with feelings which do honour to humanity and to that religion under whose influence alone such can be faithfully carried on but i must confess there appears to me some ground to fear that the amusement of doing public good the excitement it produces and especially the it purchases	41
the familiar walks of life we doubt not are rich in instances of this peculiar kind of affection existing in a lovely and most form still there are points of view in which this subject as illustrated by the customs of society in the present day cannot be contemplated without pain i have often had occasion to speak of the duties of women towards their fathers brothers husbands and sons when engaged in the active pursuits of trade and there is an presented by society of this class in england which i am particularly anxious to point out to the rising generation there are vast numbers of worthy and industrious men not only of the young and the middle aged but of those who are sinking into the of years who spend almost the whole of th r wedding lives in scenes and occupations from which almost everything in the shape of enjoyment must necessarily be shut out in looking into the shops the the offices and the counting houses of our commercial and towns we are struck with the of comfort which everywhere and we ask are these the of free bom independent men i should be sorry to be weak enough to suppose that an honest and industrious man may not be just as happy when he on boards as when he on turkey carpets yet again when we begin the early day with such individuals and see what their occupations actually are from nine in the often until late in a ot habits of evening for weeks and months and years with scarcely any or we ask how are the wives and daughters of these men employed for surely if there be a necessity for the father of the family to be situated thus the kinder and more disinterested members of his household must be dwelling in even more and than these it is but reasonable to expect that we should find them in apartments less luxurious in their with windows less to the light of day their persons perched upon harder and altogether in an inferior manner and this we are led to expect simply because it is difficult to believe of generous hearted women that they would be willing to enjoy purchased at the sacrifice of the comfort of those they love and by the degradation of those whom they look up to as their perhaps we are told that to man it is no sacrifice to spend his life in these like apartments shut in from the pure air and compelled to deal with the extreme of what is neither interesting nor dignified in itself that he regards not these trifling that he is accustomed to them and that they are what the world as manly and yet on being invited to pay our respects to the ladies of the family we find ourselves into a scene so entirely different from that of his daily toil that we are led to exclaim how opposite must be the tastes of men and women in this sphere of life in england a little more acquaintance with their domestic habits however us to discover that their tastes are not so different as their circumstances and that the of the and the actual labour which the man is every day are placing him on a very different footing with regard to personal comfort from the females of his household and how do the women strive to soothe these cares to relieve these anxieties and to these labours do they not often make their own personal expenses extend to the extreme limit that his means will afford do they not dress and visit receive and practice all those elegant accomplishments which their father s exertions have been to pay for i know that the blame does not always rest with the female members of the family but that men especially when they first marry are often pleased to behold their wives arrayed in the most costly which their means can procure in addition to this they believe that their interest in the world is advanced by keeping up a certain degree of costly display both in dress and furniture as time advances however and their spirits grow less under the pressure of accumulated cares especially if these cares have been of so golden a harvest as they had anticipated and when daughters are growing up to nay to their mother s expenditure by adding all the imagined of modern refinement the father then perhaps too late to his ruined circumstances the error into which he has been led and in would he then in the midst of his bitter regrets persuade his daughters to begin to think and act upon different principles from those which he has himself domestic habits of perhaps the father is sinking into the of years his spirit broken and some of the growing of age stealing upon him his manly figure begins to stoop his eye grows dim and he comes home weary from his daily labour what a melancholy picture is presented by the image of such a man going forth in public with his gaily and dressed daughters fluttering by his side nor is this all let us follow them home he rises early wearied and worn as he is and a hasty breakfast before his daughters have come down goes forth to his daily leaving them to their morning calls light reading and fancy work until his return at the close of the day his step is again heard on the he has begun to feel that the walk is too much for him in countless numbers have passed him on his way but these are not times for him to the luxury of riding for a rival has just opened a tempting establishment in the neighbourhood of his own and the evils of competition are destroying half his gains with a look and feeble step	41
then he enters his home he the gathering dew from his wrinkled forehead sits down with a sigh almost to a groan of despondency and then looks round upon the well furnished parlour where the ladies of his family spend their idle hours we will not the daughters so far as to say they are guilty of neglect in not inviting him to partake of his evening meal they may even press their kisses on his cheek and express their welcome in the warmest terms ths of supposing they have done all this and that he is beginning to feel and refreshed perhaps revived a little in his spirit by this evidence of their affection at length he smiles and that smile has been eagerly watched for as the indication that his heart is into generosity now is the time papa dear have you ever thought again of the silk you promised us as soon as mr moody s bill was paid and wants a velvet bonnet this winter and papa dear where did you say we could get the best satin shoes my love says the wife in a graver and more important tone these poor girls are sadly in want of drawing paper indeed of and of every thing belonging to their drawing for you know it is of no use having a master to teach them unless we provide them with the necessary materials and s music i was positively ashamed to hear her play those old pieces again at mrs s last night we have seen pictures of birds of prey hovering about their dying victim but i doubt whether a still more repulsive and melancholy picture might not be made of a man of business in the decline of life when he naturally asks for repose and into fresh exertions by the artificial wants and demands of his wife and daughters the root of the evil i grant to be not so much in the hard hearts of the individuals here described as in the of false refinement which in this country but whatever the cause or the remedy may be those will be happy days for england when her noble minded women domestic habits of despite the prejudices of early education shall stand forth before the world and show that they dare to be dutiful daughters rather than ladies of fashion and that the principles of integrity generosity and natural feeling have taught them never to wish for enjoyment purchased by the sacrifice of a father s health or a husband s peace i know not whether it often occurs to the young or only to those whose experience has been of longer duration to make this observation upon human nature that it is not offence or injury which always the pain a mother who by her ill judged indulgence in her child a selfish and temper and thus renders such evil dispositions identified with the very nature of that child so that it is a stranger to any other principles of action is as much hurt when in after life her child is selfish and towards herself as if he actually departed from his accustomed line of conduct for the purpose of being unkind to her in the same way the father who has brought up his family in habits of extravagance when he feels the tide of prosperity turning against him forgets that those habits are necessarily stronger than his reasoning and is wounded to the soul to think that his daughters are not more considerate upon the same principle of expectation we often see well meaning but parents taking extreme pains to guard their children against one error in conduct or one species of vice yet to lay that only sure foundation of conduct which is to be found in religious principle and these again are shocked to find as their children advance in the women of life that all their have heen of the desired result nor must i while pointing out errors in the behaviour of children towards their parents omit to observe that if parents would be more to into their minds the importance of relative and social duties faithfully performed instead of them for every from the strict line of these duties they would find themselves more happy in their families more tenderly watched over in sickness and sorrow more cherished and in the decline of life still though the fault may in some cases have been originally with the parents there is little excuse for daughters who are of age to think and act for themselves habit we know is accounted second nature but we know also that even our first nature is capable of being changed he who has become subject to a painful and dangerous disease through the neglect or of those who had the care of him in early life does not content himself with saying it was the of his nurse that brought upon him this calamity if the disease ad of remedy if it even admits of he is as earnest in seeking out and applying the proper means of relief as if he had been the sole cause of his own affliction and shall we confine our powers of reasoning rightly and acting promptly to the promotion of the benefit of the body and leave the immortal mind to suffer for eternity without applying such as are provided for its use whether the evil be in the original taint of our nature or in the same nature inherent in another form and domestic habits of upon us through the medium of treatment we stand in precisely the same position with regard to moral responsibility and to the of all human hearts it is right the tender sympathy of our friends should be excited when we tell them that the faults for which they blame us were and encouraged by the mistaken judgment of our parents in	41
early life but there is a at which this plea will be of little avail if while the means of are yet within our reach we suffer such habits to strengthen and establish themselves as parts of our character and i would earnestly recommend to the young women of england that they should rouse themselves and act upon the first conviction that the advantages from what is called a finished education are but so many additional talents lent them for employment in service of that gracious father who has charged his children with the keeping of each other s happiness and who when he the parental bond and the mother s heart with love and touched with tenderness the father s firmer soul was pleased to them of weakness suffering and infirmity when their children would be able to enjoy the holy privilege of conducting their feeble steps in peace and safety towards the close of their earthly pilgrimage thb women of england chapter x domestic habits and kindness that branch of the subject upon which t am now entering being one of so much importance in the sum of human happiness as scarcely to admit of comparison with any other it be expected that i should especially direct the attention of the reader to the duties of consideration and kindness in the married state by entering into the of its especial and them with all the earnestness of emphatic detail to the se consideration of the women of england happy in deed should i be to do this did i not feel that at the same time i should be touching upon a theme too for the handling of an ordinary pen and venturing beyond that veil which the of such a is calculated to draw over all that is extreme in the happiness or misery of human life i shall therefore glance only upon those points which are most obvious to the eye of a third party and in doing this it will be found that many of the remarks i have made upon the behaviour of daughters to their fathers are equally to that of wives towards their husbands there habits op is however this great difference the existing between married people is almost invariably a matter of choice a daughter may sometimes imagine herself excused by supposing that her father is too in mind and character for her to owe him much in the way of companionship she may think his manners vulgar and believe that if she had a father who was a gentleman she would be more attentive and considerate to him but her husband cannot have married her without her own consent and therefore the engagement she has voluntarily entered into must be to fulfil the duties of a wife to him as not as she could have wished or imagined him to be these considerations lead me to a view of the subject which i have often been compelled to with deep regret but which i fear no human pen and still less mine will be able to change it is the false system of behaviour kept up between those who are about to enter into the relations of marriage so that when they settle down upon the true basis of their own characters and appear to each other what they actually are the difference is sometimes so great as almost to justify the inquiry whether the individual can really be the same i presume not to upon that process courtship as it is frequently carried on by men i venture not to accuse them of injustice in in their early intercourse with the object of their choice the very faults which they afterwards complain of in the wife my chief solicitude is for my own sex that they should not only be after marriage but upright and sincere before and that they should scorn to engage a lover by little acts thb of of consideration and kindness which they are not pr to practise even more willingly towards the husband i have known in which a kind hearted woman would have esteemed robbed of a privilege if her fever had asked any other person than herself so much aa to mend his glove yet is it not possible for the same woman two years after marriage to say my sister or my cousin will do that for you i am too busy now is it the act alone but the manner in which the act is that a false impression of what will be the manner of that woman marriage i charge no one with deception the very expression of the countenance is that of real intense ei while the act of kindness is performed all i regret is that the same expressions of countenance should not always the same performance in the wife all women of acute sensibility must feel the loss of personal attractions when time begins to tell upon their youthful charms but oh that they would learn by the warning of others rather than by their own experience that it is most frequently the want of this expression of cheerful genuine disinterested kindness than the want of youthful beauty that their husband s love and makes them objects of ence or worse the cultivation of acquaintance before marriage with a view to that taking place for the most part goes but a very little way towards the knowledge of real the parties usually meet in the hey day of youth and while they in the of life their en to please are re domestic habits of by an equal to be pleased the woman especially is placed in a situation highly calculated to excite the greatest possible degree of complacency she is treated by a being upon whom she depends and he most probably her superior as if she was incapable of error and of a single fault perhaps she him of his	41
mistake speaks of her own defects and him that she is not the creature he her to be but she does all this with so sweet a grace and looks all the while so pleased to be contradicted that her information goes for nothing and we are by no means assured that she is not better satisfied it should be so if for instance she really wishes him to know that her temper b naturally bad why is she so mild and bland and in his presence if she wishes him to believe that she has a mind not capable of entering fully into the interest of his favourite books and the subjects of his favourite discourse why does she appear to listen so attentively when he reads and ask so many questions calculated to draw him out into conversation if she wishes him to suppose that she is not always a lively and agreeable companion why does she not occasionally assume the tone and manner so familiar to her family at home answer him shortly hang down her head and away the evening when he is near her if she really wishes him to believe her when she tells him that she is but ill informed and wanting in judgment why when he talks with her does she take so much pains to express opinions generally believed to be correct and especially such as with his own if she occasionally acts from caprice and really women of wishes him to know that she does so to the injury of the comfort of those around her why she in this way upon him does she win him hack again and soothe his feelings with kindness and additional solicitude to please perhaps she will tell me she acts in this because it would be and to do otherwise to which i answer if it be and to the lover how much more so must it be to the husband i find no fault with the sweetness the irresistible charm of her behaviour before it is no more than we ought to practise towards those whose happiness is bound up with ours the falling off afterwards is what i regard at so much to be in the character of woman wherever this is observed it seems to indicate that her mind has been low enough to be influenced by a desire of establishing herself in an eligible home and ing the foolishly attached to the situation of an old maid i have devoted an earlier chapter in this work to the consideration of dress and manners but i have omitted one of the most striking points of view in which these subjects can be regarded the different characters they sometimes assume before and marriage when a young lady with a view to general she is to observe what she be to be the rules of good taste and more especially if a gentleman whose favourable opinion she any decided symptoms of becoming her admirer she then meets him with her hair arranged in the most becoming habits of style with the neat shoe and pure white gloves which she has heard him commend in others with the pale the quiet coloured robe and with the general aspect of her costume to his taste he cannot but observe this regard to his wishes and he notes it down as a proof of amiable temperament as well as sympathy of habitual feeling well for his future happiness with a woman who even in matters of such trifling moment is to e bis wish her law he upon her at last to crown that happiness by the of her hand in the course of three years we look in upon this couple in the home they are sharing together we suppose the lady to be the same yet cannot feel quite sure her whole appearance is so changed the hair that used to be so carefully or so gracefully curled is now allowed to wander in or swept away from a brow whose defects it was wont to cover there is a in her whole appearance as if she had not as formerly any worthy object for which to study these secondary points of beauty and we inwardly exclaim how the taste of her husband must have changed to allow him to be pleased with what is so entirely the opposite of his original choice on a second observation however we ask whether he actually is pleased for there is nothing like satisfaction in the look with which he turns away from the cap the soiled and the neglected aspect of the partner of his life if married women who allow themselves to fall into that state of moral degradation which such an appearance feel pained at symptoms of in their the women of england husband s affections they must at least be satisfied to endure the consequences of their own want of consideration without sympathy or they may perhaps feel disposed to say their punishment is too severe for such a fault they love their husbands as faithfully as ever and expected from them a love that would have been more faithful in return than to be shaken by any change in mere personal appearance but let me tell them that the change which owes its existence to our own fault has a totally different effect upon the feelings of a friend from that which is the consequence of our misfortune and one of the most bitter and repulsive thoughts that can be made to in a husband s bosom is that his wife should only have deemed it necessary to charm his eye until she bad obtained his hand and that through the whole of his after life he must look in vain for the exercise of that kind con in consulting his tastes and wishes that used to lend so sweet a charm to the season of youthful intercourse it	41
of complaint there are degrees of the same manner practised every day in all classes of society but never without a effect in our kindly feelings and the sum of human happiness we are all too much disposed to put on what i would describe as company manners not only are our best dresses reserved for our but our best behaviour too i have often been struck with bland smiles that have been put on in guests and the appearance of extreme interest with which such guests have been listened to when five minutes after their departure the same sub having been taken up by some unfortunate member of the family no interest whatever has been no smile awakened and scarcely so much as a patient and respectful answer drawn forth i have observed also with what forbearance the of a stranger have been endured the twice told tale when begun again in company has apparently been as fresh and entertaining as the first time it was heard the folly of ignorance has then had no power to disgust nor the impertinence of curiosity to when i have marked all this i have thought if we could but carry away our company smiles to the home fireside speak always in the gentle and tones made use of in the evening party and move along the domestic walk with that of manner which our intercourse with what is called how pleasant would those homes become to the friends who look for their domestic habits of w hours of refreshment and there and how seldom should we have to complain of our companionship neglected for that of more brilliant circles and more interesting scenes in writing on the subject of consideration and kindness before and after marriage i have purposely confined my remarks to a very slight and superficial view of the subject the world that lies beyond i cannot regard as within the province of my pen i might almost say within the province of any pen for such is the difference in human character and in the circumstances by which character is developed that it would scarcely be possible to speak definitely of a line of conduct by which the lives of any two married women could properly be regulated because such conduct must bear strict reference to the habits and temperament of the husband whose peculiarities of character would have to be taken into account i must therefore be satisfied to recommend this wide and important field of contemplation to the serious attention and earnest solicitude of my reminding them only before we leave this subject that if in the first instance they are induced by selfish feeling to consult their immediate interest or convenience they are in a secondary manner their own happiness by failing to consult that of the being whose destiny is linked with theirs what pen can describe the wretchedness of that woman who finds herself doomed to live and to whom can she look for confidence and if shut out from the natural sources of enjoyment at home there is no there can be none in all the waste or peopled women of england deserts of this world bearing the slightest comparison with that of an wife she stands amidst her family like a living statue amongst the marble of the dead instinct with life yet with death the burning tide of natural feeling round her the thousand channels frozen through which that feeling ought to flow so pitiable so utterly destitute of consolation is this state to which many women have reduced themselves by mere carelessness of the common and familiar means of giving pleasure that i must be for writing on this subject with more earnestness than the of its detail would seem to warrant we may set off in life with high notions of loving and of being loved in exact proportion to desert as in great and noble deeds but on a closer and more view of human life we find that affection is more depend ent upon the of every day existence and that there is a greater sum of affection really lost by away through the failure of seeming trifles than by the shock of great events we are apt also to deceive ourselves with regard to the revival of affection after its decay much may be done to restore of mind to obtain forgiveness and to be in esteem but i am inclined to think that when once the bloom of love is when it has been brushed away by too rude or too careless a hand it would be as vain to attempt to restore it as to raise again the flower or give wings to the butterfly which the storm had beaten down habits of how important is it then that women should guard with the most scrupulous attention this treasure of their hearts this blessing of their homes and since we are so constituted that trifles make the sum of human happiness that they should lose no opportunity of turning these trifles to the account besides these considerations there is one awful and alarming fact connected with this subject which ought to be impressed upon our minds it is that we have but a short time it may be but a very short time allowed us for the comfort or the happiness of our fellow creatures even if we ourselves are spared to reach the range of human existence how few of those we love will number half that length of years even the hand that is clasped in ours the eyes that reflect the intelligence of our souls and the heart that beats an echo to every pulse we feel may be cold and motionless before to morrow s sun has set were the secrets of every human bosom laid open i believe we should behold no darker passage in the page of experience than that which has noted	41
down our want of kindness and consideration to those who are gone before us to another world when we realize the sensation of bending over the feeble frame of a beloved friend when the mortal conflict is i and the fluttering spirit is about to its earthly and looking back upon a long dark past all blotted over with instances of our or neglect and forward unto that little span of life into which we would fain the deep affection that thb of in spite of in our past conduct has all the while been cherished in our hearts with what ed earnestness would we arrest the pale messenger in his career and stay the wings of time and call upon the impatient spirit to return to see and feel and understand our love perhaps we have been in former seasons of bodily affliction have not listened patiently to the of natural feeling and have held ourselves excused from attendance in the sick chamber and there has gone forth that awful sentence it is the last time the last time we can offer the cordial draught or smooth the restless pillow or the feverish brow and now though we would search all the treasures of the earth for healing medicine and rob ourselves of sleep and rest and to purchase for the one hour of quiet slumber and pour our tears upon that aching brow until its burning heat was it is in vain for the eye is glazed the lips are the head begins to and nature tells us it is all too late perhaps we have not been kind or tender in those by gone years of familiar confidence when we were called upon to share the burdens of a weary bosom whose inner feelings were revealed to us and us alone yes we can remember in the sunny days of youth and through the trials of when the appeals of affection were answered with or when followed and we could not if we had desired it then draw back the love we had and now we hear again that awful it is the last habits of time the last time we can weep upon that or lay our hand upon that head or press a fond fond upon those closing lips fain we then throw open the flood gates of our hidden feeling and pour forth words of more than tenderness alas the once wished for tide would flow like the rising surf around a shattered wreck too late perhaps we have been guilty of a deeper sin against our heavenly father and the human family whose happiness he has in some measure committed to our trust and oh let the young ask diligently of the more experienced how they can escape the aching consciousness that may pursue them to the grave and only then commence the reality of its eternal torment the consciousness of having wasted all our influence and neglected all our means of assisting those who were associated with us by the ties in preparing for another and a better world perhaps they once sought our society for the benefit of spiritual communion they would have consulted us in cases of moral had we been more gracious and perhaps we have treated lightly the serious scruples they have laid before us or what is still more probable perhaps the whole of our inconsistent lives has been the means of drawing them away from the altar on which they saw such incense burning and now it is the last time the last time we can ever speak to them of eternity of the state of their trembling souls before the eye of a just and holy god or raise their fainting to the mercy still to their acceptance through him who is al to save to the oh for the thb of england trumpet of an to awake them from the increasing of bodily and spiritual death oh for a voice that would in one deep awful and tremendous word all for which our wasted life was insufficient it is in vain that we would call upon the attributes of nature and of deity to aid us they are gone it was the final struggle and never more will that pale marble form be roused to life by words of hope or consolation they are gone the of eternity are closed it is too late let it be a subject of grateful acknowledgment with the young that to them this fearful sentence has not yet gone forth that opportunity may still be offered them to redeem the time they know not however how much of this time remains at their disposal and it might occasionally be some assistance to them in their duties would they the habit of thinking not only of their own death but of the death of their companions there are few subjects more calculated for solemn and affecting thought than the fact that we can scarcely meet a blooming circle around a cheerful hearth but one in at least in that will be in her the seeds of some fatal malady it is recorded of the that amongst their an customs they endeavoured to preserve the remembrance that they were liable to death by placing at their boards a human skeleton so that while they and enjoyed the luxuries of this life they should find it impossible to themselves into a belief in its perpetual duration it is not necessary that we should resort to means so domestic habits of and repulsive though the end is still more desirable for us who are trusting in a better hope to keep in view neither is it necessary that the idea should be invested with melancholy and associated with depression it is but looking at the truth and let us deceive ourselves as we may the green church yard with its covered graves the passing	41
bell the slowly moving the shutters closed upon the apartment where the sound of merriment was lately heard the of disease within our even the flush of all remind us that the portion of time allotted for the exercise of kindly feeling toward our fellow creatures is fleeting fast away and that to day if ever we must prove to the great shepherd of the christian fold that we are not regardless that memorable by this shall au men know that y my if ye have love one to another of england chapter xi of the women of en caprice affectation love of the higher admiration we bestow upon the nature and of any subject of contemplation the more painful and acute is our perception of its defects and thus when we think of woman in her most character consider the extent of her and her wonderful and almost power of being great on great occasions we are the more disposed to regret that she has a power equally unlimited of making herself little and that when or selfishness is allowed to prevail over her better feelings this power is exercised to the of society and to her own disgrace those who understand the construction of woman s mind however will find some excuse for this in the natural of her mental faculties in the of her floating ideas in the play of her fancy and in the constant of her feelings which must themselves upon some object either worthy or unworthy and which consequently demand the utmost attention to what is really important in order that this waste of energy of feeling and emotion may be of the word caprice in its familiar is one of very indefinite i shall endeavour to confine my use of it to those cases in which the whim of the moment is made the rule of action without any reference to right reason or even to the gratification or annoyance of others and i shall endeavour to show that with regard to this feminine fault as well as many others women are not fairly dealt w th by how often do we see for instance a beautiful and fascinating girl expressing the most absurd or sympathies and acting in the most self willed and manner in short performing a part which in a plain woman would be regarded not or y as repulsive but in the utmost degree yet because she is beautiful her admirers appear to think all these little of fancy highly becoming and in the extreme if she chooses to find fault with what all the rest of the company are admiring how delightfully peculiar are her tastes if she will walk out when others are not disposed for walking what attendants she immediately finds all ready to say the evening is fine the air inviting and the general aspect of nature exactly what she chooses it should be if she in refusing to play a favourite air what a dear capricious creature she always is and in this as well as all other she must be humoured to the extent of her selfishness i will not pretend to say that beauty alone can command this though it unquestionably has a power beyond all calculation the being who thus the right to must have obtained the of society by thb of england tiie exercise of some particular powers of fascination which she wants the judgment and good feeling to use for better purposes we haye seen her then a sort of idol in society the centre of an admiring circle endowed with the royal privilege of of doing wrong we have seen her admired apparently beloved and we turn to the little of who are sure to be formed in all companies where a being of this description is found these we find that her character is treated not with justice though that had been enough but with the sharp inspection of keen and envious eyes and we are soon convinced that if in public she is raised to the distinction of an idol she is in private most deprived of the honours she was but too willing to assume i speak not of this instance in order to bring forward the want of charity and kindly feeling prevailing in the world i simply state that such things are in order to show that the deference paid to the of women by a few partial admirers is no real test of the favour they obtain in general society and if in such instances where youth and beauty cast their lovely mantle over every defect woman s faults are still brought to light what must be her situation what her treatment by the world where she has nothing of this kind to her weakness or recommend her to the charity and forbearance of her caprice like many other feminine faults appears almost too trifling in its too insignificant in its detail to deserve our serious condemnation yet if caprice has social of the power to make enemies and to destroy happiness it ought not to be regarded as unimportant in itself with regard to many other subjects of consideration connected with the virtues or the errors of woman we have had to observe that each individual act may be almost beneath our notice in itself and yet may form a part of such a whole as the utmost of human intellect would be unable to treat with justice and effect the case is the same with feminine caprice it is but a slight either from sense or propriety to choose to differ from the majority of opinions to choose to do and to make others do what is not agreeable to them or to refuse to do what would give them pleasure but when this mode of conduct becomes habitual when beauty and the idol of society is cast into the shade when	41
disappointment the temper and sickness tbe brow and grief sits heavily upon the in these seasons of nature s weakness when woman s trembling heart is apt to sink within her to what loneliness and bitterness of experience must she be consigned if her own indulgence of caprice has driven from her all the friends who might have administered to her in this hour of need this view of the subject however she is certainly at liberty to take and counting the to indulge her momentary wishes at the expense of her future peace the question of most serious importance is how far we are justified in trifling with the happiness the comfort or even the convenience of others for the sake of indulging our own i have before stated that in acting from caprice we act tbe of england without reference to common sense or right feeling if therefore a woman chooses to he capricious there is no help tor it argument has no power to convince her that she is wrong and opposition only her determination no matter how many are made to suffer annoyance from her folly or grief from her it is her choice to be capricious and they must abide by the consequences thus she it may be said in actions extremely minute and but still she does how much mischief may be done by a weak judgment a selfish temper and an mind the domestic habits and social intercourse of the women of england are peculiarly favourable to the of the natural tendency to caprice in the female character because they a supply of constant occupation and invest that occupation with the dignity of moral duty when therefore we find individuals acting from caprice in the middle classes of english society we know that it exists in spite of circumstances and we consequently regard with condemnation those who are so deficient in good taste and good feeling as to prefer such a mode of exhibiting their follies to the world it might require some degree of philosophical examination accurately to define the nature and origin of caprice yet so far as i have been able to ascertain by observations upon society in general i should be inclined to describe it as arising firom the same cause as and both to owe their existence to a desire to attract attention or a belief that attention is attracted by what is said or done caprice more to a weak and vain desire to be im social of affectation to a desire to make ourselves admired both are contemptible in the extreme yet one is so in provoking the temper the other in exciting ridicule and disgust that both are worthy of our careful examination in order that we may detect the lurking evil wherever it exists in our own conduct affectation is in practice a species of minute deception in effect a palpable mockery of that which is assumed i am aware that it is often the accompaniment of extreme and of self but this is seldom the case except where there is a secret yet strong desire if it were possible to be the object of admiration to others along with affectation there is generally a prevailing impression of being the object upon which all or at least many eyes are fixed for who would be at the trouble of all those of countenance of voice and of body and limb which we often observe in company did they not believe themselves to be the observed of all if by thinking too of ourselves we are overwhelmed with humiliation in public and tormented with dissatisfaction in private it is clear that there is as much vanity and selfishness in this of our own character as in the more exalted and comfortable of conceit the only difference is in one case we are and wounded that we cannot be admired in the other we believe ourselves to be admired when we are not the suffering produced by this kind of vanity is generally accompanied both with affectation and thb women of england we must not suppose because a blush the countenance and the outstretched hand is seen to tremble that the individual who is guilty of this breach of fashionable indifference is necessarily free from vanity or of a desire to be admired those who have travelled much and seen much of the world are generally cured both of and affectation by one of these two causes either they have been so often in company without making any impression that they have learned of how little importance it is to society in what manner they behave or how they look or they have learned a still more useful lesson that the admiration of man even in its fullest sense goes but a little way towards satisfying the heart the affectation most frequently detected in the behaviour of women is that which from an desire of being agreeable a certain degree of this desire is unquestionably of great service in preserving them from the moral degradation which i have before alluded to as to neglect as indicating a low state of mind wherever it exists and a low degree of estimation for the individual who thus allows her to gain the over her good taste on the other hand what may with propriety be called an desire to be admired when it takes the place of higher motives and principles of action is perhaps a more fertile source both of folly and of suffering than any other which upon the life and conduct of woman as exhibited through the single medium of affectation it is so varied in its character and so unbounded in its sphere of social of operation that to attempt to describe it in detail would require volumes rather than pages i shall therefore confine remarks to that species of affectation which is the most in the present day as	41
the peculiar kind of merit assumed by the is in some measure a test of what is most popular and most approved in society so the prevailing affectation of the day is an indication of the taste of the of the general tone of public feeling and of the tendency of private habits that which most itself to the ac and of the young ladies of the present day is an affectation of refinement not refinement of feeling as relates to the means possessed by every human being of increasing pleasure and pain in the circle of friends or relatives by which they are surrounded but refinement of so that the individual who has attained to this degree of elevation shall be from all personal obligations particularly such as would render her in the performance of social and domestic services amongst tier fellow creatures women who affect this kind of refinement are extremely fastidious in all that relates to manual employment they cannot touch the coarse material that supplies our bodily wants or our personal comfort they the very mention of those which nevertheless their fair lips condescend to admit and they shrink with horror from the vulgar notion that the old grandmother of preparing a clean hearth and a comfortable fireside for a husband or a brother could by any possibility them thb of ml for this kind of affectation however there is some excuse in our natural and in the it from personal exertion but when we see the pains which some of the same individuals will take to make themselves appear dependent useless and wholly inadequate to self preservation we are startled with a new idea and entirely at a loss to account for this phenomenon in human nature it is with difficulty i admit the belief that women are in reality the victims of all those foolish fears with which they profess to be annoyed and with which they unquestionably are very successful in others it is with difficulty i admit this belief because i nd see with admiration that some of the most women the most alive to impression and the most susceptible both of pleasure and pain can when called upon by duty and by principle set all these idle fears aside and dare to do what man would almost shrink from i cannot therefore myself of all suspicion that a little of this feminine timidity is sometimes assumed and a great deal of it encouraged for the sake of effect for the sake of making it appear to society that the individual who acts this part is too refined to have ever been accustomed to the rough of common life i say this with all charity and with much for those whose bodily and mental does render them the victims of fear and when we see such persons endeavouring to subdue their timidity ashamed of it as a weakness and especially for it not to interfere with the comfort or convenience of others social of they justly claim not only our sympathy but our it is the display of terror that i would speak of in terms which can scarcely be too contemptuous the becoming start the shriek the studied appeal for manly protection and all that of feminine delicacy which it sometimes appears to be the business of a life to exhibit besides this kind of affectation i will mention another species if possible still more unaccountable in its nature and cause it is the affectation of ignorance respecting common things it is by no means unusual with young ladies to appear to themselves upon not knowing how any familiar or ordinary thing is made or done they refuse to understand anything about machinery and bring into their conversation what they seem to regard as the most entertaining whenever conversation turns upon the occupations of the classes the same individuals seldom know the way to any place are incapable of discovering whether their faces are turned to the north or the south and if you ask them with any idea of receiving an answer from what quarter the wind is blowing you might as well expect them to tell you whether the tide is at that moment rising in sound if any of these of ignorance when forced upon them were attended with embarrassment or shame they would claim our compassion and sorry should i be to make their the subject of public remark but when we find this ignorance persisted in made conspicuous on every possible occasion and attended with and and the of england as if it were sure to meet with a favourable reception in society we cannot withhold the exclamation of our poet that from our souls we all affectation it is evident that this helplessness and this ignorance where they are assumed must be so for the purpose of at attention claiming assistance it may be from the other sex and establishing an claim to refinement by giving forth to society an idea of habits of from all vulgar or degrading association it is difficult to imagine a mode of life or a combination of circumstances less advantageous to the cultivation of such notions of refinement than those which presented by the real situation of the women of england and it is impossible not to look with gloomy for the future welfare of our country upon the increasing of these ideas of what is really lent and in the female character the view we have taken of the subjects at present under consideration naturally leads us to that great root of more than half the folly and the misery existing amongst women of admiration the extreme case of a woman totally indifferent to the good opinion of h r fellow creatures would fail to recommend itself to our regard inasmuch as it would argue a deficiency in her nature of those feelings which have been given her as a means of happiness	41
to herself and benefit to she would stand amidst her fellow creatures a lonely and isolated being living and acting without refer ence to the existence of any other being and if she escaped the thousand disappointments of who act social of from opposite motives she would be equally from any claim upon their affection such individuals however are so rare that the consideration of their peculiarities would be a fruitless waste of time and thought it is to the opposite extreme of character that our attention must now be given and here i would request the reader to bear in mind that my remarks refer strictly to the love of admiration not to the love of which i take to be a natural ai d lawful to all that is excellent in female conduct when we look upon human life with critical inspection we find that a vast proportion of the apparent mo acted upon before the world are not the motives by which the individual actors are influenced and that this system of deception is often carried on unconsciously to them because they are themselves betrayed by the of their own hearts in no instance is this more strikingly the case than in our love of admiration to gratify this desire what suffering are we not willing to endure what pains do we not take what patience can we not exercise and all under the most plausible that impose upon others less effectually than ourselves that we are acting upon higher and more principles there is this difference however to be observed between acting from worthy and unworthy motives when our axe unsuccessful and our motives correct we seldom give way to the of nt but when our are ineffectual and we look back into our own hearts and find them thb women of by any object our is often exasperated into bitterness and observation and experience have taught me to believe that many of the secret sorrows of woman s life owe half their to the disappointment of not being able to obtain the degree of admiration which has been sought a popular and elegant writer has said how often do the wounds of our vanity form the secret of our pathos and to the situation and the feelings of woman this observation is more especially still there is much to be said for woman in this respect by the nature of her own feelings as well as by the established rules of polished life she is thrown as it were upon the good will of society unable to assert her own claims to protection she must endeavour to it by secondary means and she knows that the protection of man is best by herself to his admiration nor is this all there is but a faint line of between admiration and love though essentially different in their nature and not always called forth by the same individual their outward aspect is still so much alike and there is so frequent a transition made from the one to the other that it requires more able reasoning than the of women are capable of to know exactly when they are exciting admiration and when they are inspiring love there is however one test by which the case may be decided and i cannot too earnestly recommend to my to apply it to themselves if they are admired without being beloved they may possibly be in company abroad but they will be no d of at home they may obtain the good will of a mere acquaintance but they will be solitary and neglected at their own fire side if they are such habits as are calculated to make them really beloved especially at home they may retire from company in which they have been wholly overlooked to find the warmest welcome of the domestic circle awaiting their return they may not be able to create any perceptible sensation when they appear in public but every familiar countenance around their social hearth will be lighted up with smiles when they i with regard to the love of admiration it is much to be regretted that all women who make this one of the chief objects of their lives do not at the same time an equal solicitude to be admired for what is really were this the case they would at least be employed in useful habits and as the student who aims at obtaining a prize even if he fails in that direct object has obtained what is more desirable in the power of application which he has made himself master of so the woman who aims at moral excellence if the taste of society is too to receive with admiration the first impression her character is calculated to make has yet acquired such habits as will prove an treasure throughout the whole of her after life we do not however see that this is the case so much aa might be desired in modem society there is an appearance amongst the women of the present day of being too eager for an immediate tribute of admiration to wait for the development of moral worth and thus they cultivate the of those more shining accomplishments which and delight for the moment but leave no materials for agreeable reflection behind like the conductor of an exhibition of fire works they play off their splendid of light and colour but the magazine is soon expended and the scene with weariness and and the darkness of night what a waste of time and means and application for such a result what an expenditure of thought and feeling to have produced this momentary display surely no can behold unmoved the pitiful objects for which women who court the incense of admiration are spending their lives surely none of the sons of britain can look on and see with indifference the sisters the wives the mothers of our english homes	41
perpetually employed even in a world of care and suffering of anxiety and disappointment in to the momentary gratification of the eye and the ear while the heart is and the drooping soul the desire of being beloved is an ambition of a far more amiable and character but who shall record the endless variety of suffering it upon woman i will not believe of my sex that it is the love of admiration only which gives birth to all those and that envy and and bitterness which mar the felicity of female companionship it must be some deeper feeling and i at least will give them credit for being wounded in a point than their vanity before they can so far do violence to their nature as to revenge upon each other the and the they receive social of yes it is to human calculation the most and yet it is the most soul sin of woman to be perpetually earthly objects with an interest too intense her own happiness and asking of some she has herself established for an answer to the language of her own heart let her seek as she may the admiration and applause of the world it never the craving of her soul she must have something to come home to a shelter even in the brightest a bower in the fairest garden a shrine within the richest temple cannot mingle with the stream of life and float securely on as one amongst the many she will not even be exalted in solitary distinction the world has no wealth to that she would possess this is the true nature of woman and the home she seeks is in the hearts of those who are bound to her by affection she knows that her place in this home is not to be maintained without care and hence the solicitude she upon things of trifling moment she knows also that in some instances she is liable to be she feels perhaps that she is not worthy to so honourable a place and hence her and jealousy it may be that she is discarded thence for human love is sometimes treacherous and hence her wounded spirit and the occasional of natural feeling by which she brings upon herself the of bitterness and revenge thus the darkest faults of woman may often be traced back to those peculiarities of her nature which und circumstances and with the divine the of england may constitute her highest recommendation and source of happiness how important is it then since to woman it is essential to be loved that she should not expect to reap where she has never sown and thus the most painful disappointment to which her suffering nature is liable with regard to the anxiety to be admired then i would propose that approve should be for admire and just so far as women seek the approval of their friends under the guidance of religious truth there is every reason to believe they will reap an abundant reward with regard to the desire to be beloved i can only repeat that the women of england are peculiarly blessed in the means they possess of rendering themselves in society and the opportunities they enjoy of the kindest and happiest feelings of our nature they have the homes of england in their keeping and the hearts within those homes must necessarily be attracted or by the light or the shade which their presence around them they cannot complain that circumstances are against them in the of moral worth all the natural characteristics of their native country are in their favour the happiness of the whole human family and especially of man supplies them with a never failing motive nature and religion are both on their side the one to prompt the other to them on they have the gratitude of their fellow creatures awaiting their ours and what is more they have the gracious approval of their heavenly father as their encouragement and reward general habits of chapter xii public opinion integrity the respect paid by women to public opinion and to tbe conventional rules of society have been considered with some propriety under the head of love of admiration did not the immediate of this subject with that of integrity render it more suited to the present chapter to use a popular it is but a view of the subject that we take when we suppose that the hope of being admired is the strongest to the female character in all cases where her conduct is referred to public opinion the dread of being or condemned exercises i am inclined to think a far more extensive influence over her habits and her feelings any from the fashionable mode of dress or from the established of polished life present an appalling difficulty to a woman of ordinary mind brought up under the of what is called the world she cannot positively cannot dare not will not do any thing that the has pronounced like nor while she lives in the world and in polished society is it at thb w m n of all desirable that she should from acknowledged rules except where absolute duty leads her into a different line of conduct i should be the last person to advise a woman to risk the consequences of such simply for the sake of being singular because i regard the assumption of for its own sake as one of the most absurd of all the varied specimens of affect which human life affords to choose to be singular without a sufficient reason and to dare to be so in a noble cause are so widely different that i desire to be clearly understood in the remarks i am about to make as referring strictly to those cases in which duty renders it necessary for women to from the fashions and established customs of the	41
time or place in which they live while the tide of prosperity bears us smoothly on and our means are ample and our luxuries abundant we little inconvenience from the t of the world in these respects indeed it is rather an agreeable amusement to many ladies to consult the fashions of the day and to be amongst the first to change their mode of dress to order costly furniture and to receive company in the most ap proved and lady like style but as i have before observed of the class of persons to which this work chiefly relates the tide of prosperity is apt to ebb as well as to flow and bis it from us the whole aspect of the world is not only changed to us but the aspect of our conduct it changed to the world so that what it approved in us before and honoured with its countenance is now the subject of its extreme and bitter condemnation habits of it is then that we discover we have been serving a hard master but unfortunately for thousands of human beings the discovery brings with it no freedom from that service we the cruel bondage but habit is too strong for conviction and we continue to wear the chain it is then in cases of adverse fortune that we see the benefit of having made the moral duties of social and domestic life the rule of our conduct and of having regarded all outward as things of very subordinate importance it is a case of by no means rare occurrence that the young women of england return home from school more learned in the modes of dress and habits of conduct prevailing amongst the fashionable and the wealthy than in any of those systems of intellectual culture in which they have been instructed or if their knowledge has not extended to what is done in fashionable life they have at least learned to despise what is done amongst the vulgar and the poor to look upon certain kinds of dress as impossible to be worn and to regard with supreme contempt every indication of the absence of fashionable manners so far as their means of information could be made to extend they have laid down for the guidance of their future lives the exact rules by which the outward conduct of a lady ought to be regulated and by these rules they determine to abide if this determination was applied exclusively to what is delicate refined and lovely in the female character they would unquestionably be preparing themselves for being both esteemed and beloved but unfortunately for them their attention is too often directed to the mode of dress thb women of england worn by persons much higher than themselves in worldly prosperity and to all the of look and manner which they regard as indications of easy circumstances land from vulgar occupation nor is the school itself or the mode of treatment there to be regarded as the source of these ideas and conclusions the customs of modern society and the taste of modem times are solely in fault and wherever young ladies are together with the same means of tion as at school the same results must follow until the public taste a material change or until the women of england have become learned in a higher school ot wisdom with the preparation here alluded to our young women enter upon social life and as years roll on habits thus acquired of making custom and fashion the rule of their lives strengthen with the establishment of their character and become as parts of their very being what then is the consequence of such habits in the day of their when the of their pecuniary means leaves them no longer the power of to the world they have so loved the consequence is that along with many real their ideal sufferings are increased a hundred fold by the fact that they must dress and live in a manner different from what they have been accustomed to in short that they must lose caste how little has the mere circumstance of our luxuries to do with the distress attendant upon the loss of worldly substance we find every day that persons travelling expressly for enjoyment joining in social habits of and even seeking the of their health and the refreshment of their spirits from the sea breezes or in places of customary resort the summer months voluntarily resign more than half their habitual and subject themselves without a murmur to the occupation of apartments which they would scarcely think possible to be endured for a single day in their native town and all the while they are perhaps more happy and more cheerful than in their elegant drawing rooms at home it is evident then that it cannot be their individual share in the gratification of artificial wants which they find it so heart breaking to resign it must be that a certain number of polite and refined individuals having combined to attach a high degree of importance to the means of the luxuries of lift all who belong to this class when compelled to exhibit in public a manifest of such means regard themselves and expect to be regarded by others as having become degraded in the sight of their fellow creatures and no longer entitled to their favour or regard it is of no use asserting that we all know better than to to this conclusion that mankind are not so weak or so unjust that we appreciate the moral worth of an individual beyond the luxuries of his table or the of his dress it is easy to say this but it is not so easy to believe it because the practical proof of experience is against it if for instance we cared for none of these things why the aspect of human life present such a waste of	41
time and health and patience and mental power and domestic peace in the pursuit of wealthy when that women of wealth is expended as soon as gained in maintaining an appearance of elegance and luxury before the world i am not prepared to argue about the benefits from the encouragement of artificial wants and the increase of luxuries on the broad scale of national prosperity there are pens more able and more fit for such a purpose my views are confined to the individual evils from an over strained ambition to keep pace with our associates in our general habits and i would write with earnestness on this subject because i believe that in england at the present time these evils are of rapidly increasing extent it seem unimportant to those who have no experience in these to speak of the private and domestic arising out of artificial wants on one side and inability to provide the demanded supply for them on the other what family in moderate circumstances has not some record of scenes alike humiliating to human nature and destructive to human happiness in which the ill judged request or the harsh denial the appeal or the reply the remonstrance or the bitter retort have not at seasons cast a shade over the domestic hearth and destroyed the peace of the circle gathered around the social board it may appear still more like trifling to speak of the sensations with which a member of a fallen family regards her wardrobe and looks and looks in vain for a garment respectable to make her appearance in before a rich relation perhaps she has but one a call has to be made upon a person of distinction and as she pro habits of on her way with watchful anxiety every speck and spray that would be likely to reduce her garment be low the average of respectability a storm her there are carriages for all who can afford to pay for them but none for her and the agony of losing her last claim to takes possession of her soul the reader may possibly smile at the absurdity of this case a half clad savage from some barbarous island would probably smile could he be made to understand it but nothing can be farther from exciting a smile than the sensations it occasions nothing can be farther from a smile than the look with which a failing regards the forlorn condition of his hat when he dares not brush it lest he should render its more apparent nothing can be farther from a smile than the glance he casts upon his coat when he knows of no possible resource in art or nature that can supply him with a new one and nothing can be farther from a smile than the cold welcome we give to a guest who presents himself unexpectedly and must look in upon the of our half furnished it is easy to class these sources of under the head of and to them unworthy of rational beings but i do believe there is more real misery existing in the world at the present time from causes like these than from all those publicly acknowledged which are more uniformly attributed to the of providence i do not mean that these miseries arise directly from or are by any means confined to our personal appearance or the of england the furniture of our houses but when we contemplate the failure of pecuniary means as it is regarded by the world and attempt to the immense variety of channels through which the suffering it produces is made to flow in consequence of the customs and habits of society i believe they will be found to extend through every variety of human life to the utmost range of human feeling is it not to escape this suffering that the man of too frequently applies himself to means that the suicide the deadly draught and that the sometimes his native land and himself to the of in short what more remains within the range of human which man has not done with the hope of flying from the horrors attendant upon the falling away of his pecuniary means when the reality of this suffering is acknowledged as it must be by all who look upon society as it exists at the present moment the next subject of importance is to consider how the suffering can be and its fatal effects upon the peace and happiness of society prevented the most immediate means that could be made to operate upon woman would unquestionably be by in her mind a deeper and more rational foundation of thought and feeling to put a stop to that endless variety of ill natured gossip which relates to the want of elegance or fashionable air in certain persons dress and manner of living so that there should be no more questioning what will be thought of my wearing this dress again what will miss p or mrs w say if they see our old curtains general habits of what can the mean by travelling outside what will the people at church or chapel say when they see your shabby veil i positively don t believe the can afford a new carpet or they would surely have one and they have their to our book society it is neither grateful nor profitable to pursue these remarks farther than as they serve for specimens of that most contemptible of small talk which yet exercises a powerful influence over the female mind so much so that i have known the whole fabric of a woman s philosophy entirely and her peace of mind for the moment destroyed by the simple question whether she had no other dress than the one she was so often seen to wear there is another instance that occurs to me as illustrate ing in a striking	41
manner the subject immediately under consideration it is that of wearing mourning for a deceased relative this custom is so generally acknowledged as desirable that it needs no recommendation from my pen one would suppose however on a superficial view of it that the wearing of black as a general costume of the absence of or merriment from the family was all that had been originally intended by this custom and that it should thus become an outward testimony of respect and sorrow for the dead the fashion of the world however has imposed upon this custom as applies to females certain and additions so expensive in their nature as to render it rather an article of luxury to wear genteel mourning or that which is of the deepest grief it but thb women of en lain little with the sorrow and seclusion of a recent fi r the mistress of ample means to give orders for an external of precisely the degree of sorrow supposed to attend upon the loss of a parent or a distant relative but when the means of pecuniary expenditure are extremely small and the materials for appearing properly in public have to be made up at home and prepared for use within a very limited time it is evident that greater regard to the of sorrow would suggest the of a less elaborate style of dress or perhaps a dress not absolutely new for the occasion ladies however and those who have been accustomed to make the rule of their conduct must mourn gen and consequently there are often scenes of bustling preparation of invention and arrangement scenes upon which if a stranger should look in he would see an appearance of activity and interest almost to amusement in the very house where the shutters are still closed and which are wholly at with the silence and the of a deep and solemn grief nor is this all so extremely becoming and lady like is the fashionable style of mourning that under the plea of paying greater respect to the memory of the dead it has become an object of ambition to wear it in its greatest excellence and equally an object of dread and source of humiliation to be compelled to wear it in an inferior style thus when the loss of a father is attended with the failure of his pecuniary resources it adds no little to the grief into which his daughters are plunged to be under the necessity of appearing so soon after their loss habits of with bread they have therefore the strong claims both of justice and benevolence to fulfil before the integrity of their christian character can be complete with regard to general benevolence and charity to the poor we are apt to deceive ourselves to an extent which would be beyond our belief were we not convinced by the observation of every day that few very few of those even in the middle ranks of life few even of those tender hearted females who are so painfully by every exhibition of human misery do anything at all with their means towards the suffering which is to be amongst the poor i am not inclined to attach any high degree of merit to the mere act of giving money to the poor because i esteem it a luxury to be thus in their pressing and i am also in doubt whether this is the best method of them the point i am about to remark upon however is the extreme of those so amongst ladies that they could give to the poor and the they frequently utter relating to the absolute necessity they are under of not giving more we find them dressed dwelling amongst costly and denying themselves nothing which their neighbours enjoy and all the while they do so wish they could give more to the poor i confess it the heart and the mind to listen to like this if these individuals would but let the matter rest and be content to be fashionable without pretending to be generous half their ths women of sm land would cease to exist but they go on to explain to you how their station in life and their credit in society require to dress and live in a certain way and how they consider themselves doing a benefit to their country by their encouragement of its it would not be to ask them as they enter a fashionable and expensive establishment to purchase some costly articles of dress whether they are doing it in reality for the benefit of their country and there might be seasons when it would be equally appropriate to inquire whether they prefer their appearance before the world to the spiritual consolation of having made the of their blessed the rule of their conduct the measure of charity which it is our duty to bestow upon the poor is a point of very difficult as well as the manner we may choose to adopt in the distribution of our means we cannot properly make ourselves the judge of a brother or a sister in these respects but if we have sufficient resources for the purchase of luxuries it is in vain to pretend that we cannot give to the poor and if we will not spare a little out of our little we cannot expect to be believed when we boast of the pleasure it would rd us to be charitable with more there are noble instances by women in the classes of society in england of what can really be done in the way of benevolence in a and manner which it is truly refreshing to the soul to contemplate and i would earnestly recommend my young to look diligently to these an to ask whether they cannot go and do likewise rather than to habits of to the dangerous habit of inquiring whether they cannot afford	41
to purchase what is fashionable and becoming to a lady even when it is not necessary for comfort or respectability by this means they would at least be able to attain a degree of merit for if they did not go to the extent of the truly devoted and they might avoid themselves in that interminable chain of expensive which are sure to follow if we set out in life by making it our first object of ambition to stand well with the world and to accommodate our dress and mode of living to that which is most admired in society the mode of reasoning induced by too a to the fashions and the customs of the world an endless series of most to woman s better feelings the fact of having or not having absolute debts seems to be with most young ladies the boundary line of their morality as relates to their pecuniary affairs and well would it be if were strictly scrupulous even to this extent within this line however there may be from the integrity of a noble generous and enlightened mind which yet the world takes no of and which do not materially affect the character as it is judged of by society in general i have said that the world is an unjust judge and in no instance is it more so than in this the world pays homage to an expensive elegant and lady like appearance but it takes little note of the principle that would condemn this appearance if it could not be maintained without upon a parent s limited means the of the of civil law refer only to the payment of pecuniary debts and when these are discharged we may appear without re before society but happily for us we have a higher standard of moral duty and the integrity of the christian character requires a strict of points of conduct unseen by society and perhaps known only to our selves and to the great of human hearts by whose ment we must stand or fall reasoning then upon these subjects from higher we clearly perceive that we have no right to indulge ourselves with luxuries or to purchase the countenance and favour of society at the expense of a parent s peace or by the sacrifice of the comforts of his old age we have no right to upon means not strictly and our own even though they should be granted to our necessities for more than belongs to actual decency of appearance and of except in those cases where it the desire of wealthy friends or r that we should adorned and supplied at their expense we have no and no woman of good feeling would wish to a right to dress and live at the extreme of expenditure whidi a father by nothing less than and incessant toil can obtain the means of affording we have no ri t to make presents and thus obtain the of gratitude and admiration for our generosity with money which is immediate ly from our father s hand fer that especial purpose while our own resources remain ed our own private store of treasures and our wholly unaffected i do not say that to each one of the immense variety o of daily and familiar which might be under this head there the highest degree of actual they are rather instances of than of absolute injustice and wrong but i do say that the of just so far as decency will permit and as occasion seems to warrant upon all that is noble and generous upright and kind in human conduct has a fatal tendency to corrupt the heart while it produces at the same time a effect upon the highest and aspirations of the soul what answer can be made by such a soul to the secret of its internal or how shall we appeal to the gracious and merciful creator of the universe who has given us all this glorious world for our enjoyment and all the elements of nature for our use who has looked upon us in our degradation and pitied our and opened the gates of heaven that his mercy might descend to us in a palpable and human form and that w e might the conditions of his offered pardon be healed and live i how shall we appeal to him in our private prayers or stand before him in the public with this confession on our lip that just so far as man could approve or condemn our actions we have deemed it expedient to be just but that to him and to the of our souls we have the incense of a willing mind and therefore we have our pleasures and gratified our pride and fed our selfishness by all those trifling yet forbidden means which he has pronounced to be offensive in his sight besides these considerations there is one of the of ble importance connected with our conduct in the sight of god no human mind can set a bound or a measure to its voluntary from the line of duty we have been supposing a case in which these are extremely minute and yet so numerous as to form as it were a circle round the heart a circle of evil imagine then this circle and year after year through the seasons of youth and maturity and the dreary winter of old age what an awful and melancholy spectacle does the state of that heart present enclosed as it were in a atmosphere and growing perpetually colder and more by from the blessed light of heaven oh let us not begin to breathe this deadly atmosphere and you who are yet inexperienced in the ways of human life whose habits are not formed whose paths not chosen whose line of conduct not decided what a blessing would it be to you both in	41
this world and in the world to come were you to choose that better part that would enable you to look with a single eye to what is most acceptable in the divine sight and most in accordance with the will of god leaving the of person the luxuries of taste and the of worldly esteem to be enjoyed or with a grateful and contented mind just as your heavenly father may permit and bearing always about with you as a against the of evil even in the most simple or most form the remembrance that none of these things are worthy of a single wish if they must necessarily be obtained by the of his laws or accompanied by the tokens of his displeasure habits and of chapter xiii habits and character intellectual of time moral courage right balance of mind to those gentle readers who have been kind enough to accompany me through the foregoing pages and who feel inclined to exercise their forbearance towards me through a few more i feel that some apology or rather some explanation is necessary for the manner in which i hare so been compelled to speak of the extraordinary ambition manifested by my in the present day to make mistress of every possible variety of intellectual that can be acquired at school and i cannot help fearing that many of my remarks may appear to have been written with a view to the value of these treasures of mind and as far as my single influence may extend to others from the pursuit of them so far from this i would repeat if possible in words which could not be forgotten my firm conviction that no human being can learn too much so that their sphere of intelligence does not extend to what is evil but while the thb of of a vast store of knowledge is one of the objects we have in view in the culture of the mind we must not forget that it is by no means the only one in an infant we not only supply its appetite with food but also find it necessary to teach it the habit and assist it in the power of its limbs we guide its steps and as fer as we are able give it just notions of its bodily functions with the best to feed the mind then is but a small part of our duty if we leave it helpless and without ability to exercise its various powers and judgment to exercise them aright the most important portion of that duty is neglected thus i believe all who are employed in teaching the young will go along with me for their experience must strong evidence in favour of this statement there are some points however in which it appears to me they have allowed the fashion of the times to render their system of instruction extremely but for this i am by no means prepared to say that they are in any degree to blame because they have the taste of the times to consult and they would obtain little credit for making our young women what they ought to be if that taste was not correct with regard to moral discipline or that mode of by which women would be fitted for their domestic and social duties i have expressed my opinion in an earlier chapter of this work and with regard to intellectual culture i hope to be if i now venture a few remarks it appears to me in looking abroad upon society and contemplating the immense variety of mental which prevail amongst the young i of the present day habits of that they are in imminent danger of supposing when they have acquired a vast amount of verbal knowledge that the great work of education is done they are in short in danger of the means for the end and of resting satisfied that they are wiser than the generation before them in the of languages this is particularly the case a young lady the reputation of being clever when she has made herself mistress of several languages and with this she is generally satisfied while she ought to remember that she has but gained possession as it were of the keys of vast of knowledge for the use of which she is responsible to society again in the pursuit of science there ia a that strikes the ear and gives an idea of vast superiority in the way of and there are that may be impressed upon the memory without the mind being in any way enlarged or enlightened by the reception of them it is easy for instance to talk of without the thoughts at any time extending themselves to the general economy of vegetation and of so as to tell the distances of different without the soul being penetrated by one ray of illumination from the wisdom which designed and which the heavens it is easy to attend a few scientific lectures and to return home talking of the names of and of some of the most striking phenomena of the battery and other popular of the lecture room but it requires a totally different process of mind to take a general survey of the laws of the universe and to bow before the conviction that all must have been created by a hand divine the women of from our observations of rural or romantic scenery it is easy to about woods and about the of mountains and the grandeur of the raging sea but it does not follow as a necessary consequence that we have formed any conception of the idea of abstract beauty or of the but admiring awe which true is calculated to inspire it does not follow that we shall have learned to in the elements of nature those of spirit and of mind which to the poetical and imaginative people every	41
desert and render with melody the silence of night it may be said that in this busy world there is little employment for the imagination little scope for the exercise of poetical associations i grant for i am compelled to do that poetry should be out of our working world to make room for machinery but i see no reason why the same train of thought and course of reasoning should not be carried on i grant that the materials are different but why should we not still endeavour to raise an altar in our minds for a higher worship than that of the of this world why should we fix our attention solely upon the material part of the universe satisfying ourselves with the names of substantial things with their variety and properties why should we confine ourselves to counting the pillars in the temple of nature its magnitude and measuring its height without referring all our calculations through the highest range of imagination to the wonder working power of the great habits and of it may be said that we dwell too much in cities and lead too artificial a life to be able to perceive the of divine wisdom in all the events that pass beneath our observation if this be the case there is the more need that we should rouse ourselves by fresh efforts to penetrate beyond the polished surface of the world in which we live into the deeper mysteries that lie beyond there is the more need that we should endeavour to perceive in the practical affairs of busy life those great principles by which the laws of nature are governed and the system o the universe if for instance we live in the heart of a thickly peopled city with the rush of its busy multitudes around us and the labour of man s hand and the efforts of his ingenuity perpetually before our eyes there is no reason why we should look only at the splendour of its amuse our fancy with the outward aspect of its varied of art or regard with disgust the occupations of the because he handles the raw material and touches what is gross would it not be more consistent with the exercise of an enlightened mind to contemplate the wonders of that power which the creator has to the use of man so that he lays hold as it were of the elements of nature and makes them submit to his will night falls not with stillness and repose upon the city but we walk as through a living blaze and shall we pass on like children pleased with the glitter and the show without reflecting that man has been able to convert the darkest substance from the of the earth into the very source of all this light mountains and valleys tracts of women of england land and floods of between us and our distant friends but we fly to them with a rapidity which a few years ago would have been pronounced even by impossible and shall we move like senseless matter even through the very heart of the mountain calculating only the speed at which we travel without to the momentous fact that by the ingenuity of man mere as it is for its weakness and in the creation has been converted into the master power by which the mighty operations of men are carried on we take our daily walks through the bustling city and gaze at the splendid of taste and learn the names of those who are most skilled in music and painting and all the sister arts and we speak in the cant terms that are most in and think we display superiority of mind and intelligence to use them well but should we not at the same time cultivate the habit of bearing in remembrance the principles of beauty and of referring back to them whatever is to our admiration in the form of art we speak of the degrading cares and sordid views that occupy the working world but how have we endeavoured to pass beyond these and to connect them with the world of thought we hear of the vast amount of labour carried on and the relative expenses incurred and the things that can be made and done within a given time but why should we not sometimes make a transition of thought from the material to the means of working it from the means to the power and from the power that is imparted to the creator who to day the habits and of his busy tools to morrow his hand may have become rigid and motionless beneath the stroke of death thousands and of thousands pass away from the scene of their labours but the labour still goes on for the laws of nature change not and the principles upon which the labour of man is carried into effect remain the same we are too apt because we mingle in and busy scenes and feel the necessity of moving with the tide to forget that what we see and hear what is obvious to the senses and palpable to the touch is not all that we live for or even all that we live amongst we should endeavour to find breathing times even amidst the hurry and the rush of present things we should sometimes pause amongst the multitude and listen mentally to the beating of the mighty pulse of a tumultuous city and ask whether the creator and of this living mass is not beholding the operation of the various powers he has set in motion marking its defects supplying its and the whole we should then be enabled to perceive something of the working of the inner plan how one class of human beings depends upon another how the principles of justice establish and counter so that no single power shall be how poverty	41
individuals have no right to think and feel as they do that women ought to be wiser than to consider themselves degraded by working for their own while such is the constitution of society and such the early bias of the female mind that it is almost impossible they should do otherwise the great point to be gained is to penetrate at once to the root of the matter and to begin by a different system of education to render moral courage the courage to do what is right the first principle of female conduct what a world of misery this single principle of action thoroughly into the character would spare the sons and daughters of men i am inclined to think the foundation of moral courage must be laid in very early life so as to render it effectual in bearing us up under the trials of age and it is not only to the general character of my country women but to spare them at least half the sufferings they now endure that i would most earnestly recommend them thb of england in the mind to cultivate also the power of moral courage whenever the claims of duty are set in opposition to the opinions of the world for want of moral courage how many do we leave unsettled amongst our friends until the uttered careless word the thoughtless action or the false report are allowed to poison the very springs of affection and to separate the dearest friends for want of moral courage how often and how do we fail in the sacred duty of what we see amiss until the evil grows and and extends itself and becomes so obvious to general that we scruple not to join in its condemnation forgetting that our own want of may possibly be charge able with its existence for want of moral courage how do we sink and see others sinking every day under the pressure of those pecuniary difficulties which i have already described until we are guilty of almost every species of paltry meanness to support an appearance of respectability before the worlds forgetting that the grand foundation of all respectability of character is an honourable independent and upright mind for want of moral courage how often do we stoop and and submit to and eat the bread of humiliation and wear the rich garments that ought to cover us with shame because we are enough to live upon what is not our own and what is often granted without good will and received without satisfaction oh that the women of england would rouse habits and of with one accord to break these chains to in their own conduct and to teach their daughters that there is no earthly enjoyment no personal no selfish gratification worth the sacrifice of just and honourable feeling that the undertaken from a sense of duty becomes in the motive by which it is prompted and that the self denial may be blessed and honoured by the father of if endured in preference to an upon those laws which he has laid down for the government of the human family there is another point of view in which it appears to me that the present character of the women of england is extremely it is as regards a right balance of mind or in other words a just estimate of the relative importance of things in general from the natural construction of the mind of woman from the quickness of her and the intensity of her momentary feelings she is apt to lay hold of every thing calculated immediately to strike her fancy or to excite her emotions with an earnestness that the possibility of her mind being kept alive to other impressions even more essential to her happiness and more important in themselves hence we find in society that women too frequently invest the of the moment the circumstances around them and their own personal experience with a degree of interest wholly incomprehensible to strangers and often utterly contemptible to men i do not i will not that women are inferior to what is called the the women of england noble sex in the moral world but i do believe that from this very cause arises more than half the bestowed upon their of character it is not that they want capacity or understanding to judge of many things as well as men it is that they are so occupied with what is obvious on the surface of things that they will not look beyond and hence their to trifle and to render themselves apparently inferior to what they really are this is the great leading defect in woman s character and it is the more to be regretted that it presents to her mind innumerable sources of which with a more correct perception of the relative value of things she might escape she is apt for instance to attach as much importance for the time to the failure of her own musical performance as to the failure of a bank and she appears to care little for the invasion of a foreign country when injury is threatened to her best attire it is no trifling humiliation to those who mix in society if they have been accustomed to raise their views a little higher in the contemplation of nature and of human life to be perpetually persecuted in the midst of agreeable and intelligent conversation with questions about the of dress and conduct in some limited and local sphere of observation i would not speak thus contemptuously of the familiar habits of my sex if i did not know that they were capable of something better and if i did not desire as i desire their good aad their happiness that they would rouse themselves above this paltry and learn to become habits and of what i am confident they might be	41
strains of b ton all or nearly all the poets who have followed these have attempted to follow in the same course until the flowers and they were which grew beside their path have been trodden preface down by the pressure of numerous feet and from the very and familiarity with which such subjects have been presented to our view chivalry has lost its romance love and beauty have almost ceased to charm and passion has itself to death does it then follow that poetry must die also let us not admit the thought of such a falling upon our country or our age one thing however b necessary and it has been overlooked by almost all who have lately attempted to write poetry after the over excitement which created so false and unnatural a taste has entirely subsided we must return to nature and simplicity it is more than probable that many will return in vain because the ear long accustomed to the higher of genius will scarcely condescend for some time at least to listen to the melody of simple ut nature must prevail at last and whatever the event of the experiment i have made may be its or success will in no way affect my conviction that by returning to simplicity by making simplicity without weakness or the constant companion of his studies the poet who is true to nature may viii preface yet find acceptance with intelligent and feeling minds in the poetry of life i have endeavoured to prove that four are necessary for an able and successful poet power imagination impression and taste to only one of these a for receiving lively and lasting impressions do i make any yet such is my confidence in the power of simplicity and truth that i commit my poem to the public not doubting but there will be found amongst that public some whose experience will testify to its and more whose hearts will respond to its truth it contains no exaggerated statements i know that such things are as i have here described it has suited my purpose amongst other illustrations to have actual representations made of the home of my childhood as well as of my s present residence but in making this confession i should wish to have it clearly understood that the representation of real scenes extends no farther the description of the habits of the farmer s family as well as the conduct of his landlord has arisen entirely out of the imagination of the writer and in the latter case preface ix especially would be very regarded as a specimen of the conduct of landed in general i cannot in the usual manner explain my reasons for selecting the subject which the following pages because instead of saying that i have chosen it i must say that it is almost ever present to my mind the story is and has arisen out of the popular evils of the day but some of the scenes i have attempted to describe are such as are well calculated to force themselves into verse and if they fail to present to others the same vivid colouring which them amongst my early associations the fault is in the writer as a poet not in the rural scenes of england as a subject for v indeed it has been chiefly when contemplating such scenes and the habits and feelings of those who are with them that i have renewed my confidence in the conviction that poetry never can become extinct it b the fashion of the day to overlook as unworthy of attention much that is connected with the happiness and misery of social life and to bring every effort of industry and mental application to a x preface bear upon the machinery of mere animal existence in with the same mode of thinking we hear perpetually of our national prosperity being calculated in exact proportion with our commerce and with the competition england is enabled to maintain with the abroad thus we are too much disposed to forget that the real prosperity of a nation ought to be calculated by its elevation in the scale of moral feeling rather than by its facility in supplying the bodily wants of the community at large that much of this true elevation of feeling belongs to the agricultural classes no one can deny who has become with their social and domestic habits and it ought to be esteemed as highest amongst the many privileges of rural life that the circumstances in which the farmer is placed have a natural tendency to induce a tone of feeling the value of which can never be by the greatest physical advantages this world is able to supply in his association with the more laborious classes the is placed on a footing very different from that of the the simple fact that in one case the working people are called men and in the other hands of itself a wide preface xi to the they are for the most part but instruments of labour mere hands and they are taken into his employment when trade is said to be brisk and dismissed when he needs them no more just as so many tools are taken up or laid aside to suit the service of the day but the farmer dwells as it were amongst his own people he has most probably grown up from infancy beside them his children may have been with theirs he knows all the internal economy of the cottages around him his people come to him for advice in their domestic and social transactions and he feels too sensibly for his peace of mind that when his own altered circumstances render it necessary for him to dismiss any of them from his er ice that distress which be is well able to picture will cast a gloom over the	41
humble and the cheerful whose evening glow has so often imparted gladness to heart he does not hear of this distress as of the of some public calamity diffused amongst an n multitude but he is acquainted with its every feature and in a manner compelled to trace it home to picture to his mind the well known countenances of xii preface those who suffer and hear the voices that have so often responded to his own deepened into the tones of bitterest complaint it is almost impossible but that this kind of intimate association should produce a degree of mutual interest and fellow feeling highly advantageous to both parties in their intercourse with each other and it seems equally reasonable to conclude that circumstances of a similar nature should attach the people to their native country in a more than ordinary manner the or the in dwells for the most part in towns where nothing but the house he sometimes the single chamber he can be called his own and that only for a week a month a year or a short term of years as the of trade may render necessary or desirable he leaves his lodgings as a traveller leaves his inn if not quite as often at any rate with as little regret except so far as the of a removal may affect his comfort but the agricultural has a feeling of property not only in his own cottage and garden but in his master s farm in the scenes of his boyish in the fields he has been accustomed to preface xiii cultivate the trees he has planted and above all the animals he has watched and fed for his master s use his children himself and his parents have in many cases been bom in the same parish he feels an interest in the very soil on which they have n and flourished and if this be the case with the poor how powerful must be the same feeling in the mind of his employer whose attachment to the soil may reasonably be supposed to bear a relative proportion to the property he holds modes of thinking peculiar to the present day have rendered somewhat the old fashioned virtue of patriotism and i am quite willing to admit that the of enlightened benevolence must carry out the views of the to the utmost range of human existence but until the mind b thus enlightened it is certainly better that the benevolent affections should extend to a village a district or a whole country than that they should never be awakened at all and if we admit patriotism to be a i feel little hesitation in sayings that it exists in all its genuine simplicity and force amongst those whose local interests have taken deepest root in their native soil preface it is not my desire so ar to the point of merit as to attempt to prove that the agricultural classes in any thing that relates to their religious advancement are at all superior to the rest of the community i am even prepared to admit that there is less of religious zeal and certainly less religious knowledge diffused amongst them as a body but in admitting this i must not forget how much less has been done for them than for others through the agency of christian benevolence compared with the inhabitants of towns they may be said except in particular districts to be almost entirely left to themselves the consequence is that the vices into which they fall are more of a personal and individual character and that while they are from some of the popular evils which prevail amongst masses of mankind they are equally from the influence of combined effort as it flows through the channels of christian instruction and public there b something in their circumstances however which if they could be more effectually reached by this influence might tend very much to forward the views of christian benevolence on their behalf preface xv it is the constant reference they are compelled to make to the of divine power the has little from the circumstances by which he is surrounded to refer the success or the failure of his efforts to anything beyond mere physical causes the rate of wages the employment of other hands the patent inventions of the day or the nature of the material in which he works are with him and his fellow the chief topics of calculation and thought but the farmer even when he does limit his views to what is merely physical has a far wider field of observation as regards the phenomena of nature and when he is sufficiently enlightened to look beyond this he must be insensible indeed not to be reminded every day and ever hour by the changes in the atmosphere the aspect of the heavens the processes going forward in the earth the instinct of animals and the economy of vegetation that a supreme and power is above and around him and governing the world the secret spring of all movement the source of all life the of all good preface it would be idle to assert that all who are employed in the soil are to trains of thought in with such subjects but the occupations of the agricultural classes and the scenes and circumstances with which they are necessarily associated are unquestionably to an elevated tone of mental and moral feeling and there is much in their ample lives and in their recent and present experience calculated to excite the deepest interest in the minds of their countrymen sons of the soil fer i tis early dawn and morning s welcome ray the blue rising far away from out the bosom of a sea where the white float along the the sons of the soil till the proud sun in his might the earth in universal light tis	41
b bright mom and oh what tongue can tell the mingled that mount and swell and float upon the scented gale sweet echoes through the harmonious voices mellow toned and shrill liquid and murmuring and almost still so small the and so pure the stream from whence it flows like music in a dream yet not the note of forest bird e er by the brink of waters heard nor that the mom but hath some note of gladness still a hymn of gratitude for life and light to the clear heavens fresh opening on the sight tis sweet mom and let our poets say er they list of that day book i that rises o er classic shore my native land for me i ask no more my native land clad in her robe of flowers her meadows and her her gay her bright seen like fringe of gold beneath a mantle green her streams that wander through the shady grove with gentle as the voice of love her patient herds that slumber on the her that the honey laden bee her blooming around with may that falls like snow when from the scented spray the song bird on his joyous wing to away to the blue skies and sing her pastures with the yellow and in of life wildly o er the grassy or the goal of triumph her hills the village spire and many a heath clad mountain rising higher u the sons of the soil around whose base the river winds or through the its path of beauty finds such are thy pictures and i love to dwell on scenes so long remembered and so well scenes that i gazed on fondly from my birth that made thee then the loveliest spot of earth and such thou art beloved land to me and ever wilt be come what may to thee on bright mom mid such a scene as where all we realize of earthly bliss is gathered round us by a hand divine till remains for which the heart can pine laden perfume woke the early breeze gorgeous in sunshine stood the ancient tree the stately elm and ash that grew around a dwelling almost hid from view a long and low dwelling where the door looked as if all might enter rich and poor book i o there was no sloping lawn before that spot but gravel walk and just one little plot of new grass so green and smooth it seemed the traveller s wear eye to soothe no massive gate of entrance marked the road nor graceful sweep its doubtful welcome showed but hid beneath a screen a garden opened on the green while on one side a blooming border lay enriched with fragrant and the fairy leaf of classic was there the purple and the fair and ancient and box and and wall flower sweet within that garden grew while over head rich perfume there hung a of or shaken by the gently waving trees a shower of blossoms fluttered in the breeze the blushing promise of expectant spring sweet pledge of all the year might fi the sons of the soil these the ground a carpet far more fair than man s ingenious labour could prepare with toil of weary hand and curious care high above all in outline broad and bold stood the tall ash the elm and old stretching that lowly roof their arms faithful through every change through winds and storms breaking the tempest from the rain from heat that the plain the air with freshness and delight parting the into gems of true to the promise of their early prime again with every sweet spring time such friends were they those venerable trees boast ye who may of friends more true than these was there not one within that peaceful home who might have boasted had the question come book i to her fond heart for she was proud to be the creature of one soul s and such a soul so manly and so clear so firm of purpose upright and sincere of schools yet filled with noble aims and that high virtue which all praise with fire to a tell and but one weakness that he loved too well yet she he loved was worthy of his care so gentle and so true so fond and fair so self devoted looking to the end for the good and thus his friend ne er seeking sunshine from his weary brow nor urging service when his step was slow not his vexed ear with grief nor asking when she ought to have given relief as some will tax the patience with a train of twice told wrongs and ed pain very kindness its duty is to wish the in a world of bliss the sons of the soil if such things could be mary knew them not she felt no wrongs was cheerful m her lot to her the sweet return of morning light brought a new life still with new delight for she had one to love and serve and cheer who paid her back in kindness as sincere and both felt bound their earthly course to make as smooth as might be for the other s sake and now with that sweet mom of spring they rose to offer up to heaven their early vows with joyful spirits to kneel down and pray and bless the light that brought another day laden with all things needful all things good only asked for deeper gratitude love that was less of earth hopes more on high and greater to live or die for they were growing to that lovely scene as if their root of life had been book i within the earth s deep bosom planted there to live and bloom for ever fresh and fair they looked around them with a joy so pure	41
his secret to dwell at last the tenderest word and now she starts to hear the wished for sound he comes not it is the restless hound the arc falling and the hour is late again she hears the clap of distant gate the sons of the soil it is the foot fall of that faithful she knows it well he comes he comes with speed triumphant war horse in proud castle yard was never yet with more of rapture heard the hearth has long been swept she the fire and then piles up the blazing fabric higher till the kettle forth its cheering song while a manly step the garden walk along it was no vulgar bliss that crowned their lot they were industrious but they ne er forgot the treasures of the mind the heart s warm store than all their household comforts valued more they were in modem schools at least yet much they loved an intellectual feast and such they deemed it as the night closed in at that hour when social joys begin to muse upon the well selected page of favourite poet or of wiser sage book i there was a beside their cheerful hearth that held an ancient book case with the worth of many minds concentrated and clear and thoughts that to the reader s eye appear his own so natural and twas not the wealth of lore r that reached the farmer s hospitable door nor pile of newly written books passed on from hand to hand their titles only known but volumes chosen with attentive care read and remembered and still there like friends of early days that answer ot in the loved voice we never can forget such was the evening s happiness to those l thus could meet at s sweet close such their enjoyment when their meal was and well filled tray and smoking kettle gone the curtains the blazing fire burnt ch ar the farmer seated in his elbow chair l the sons of the soil the rosy from its mother s breast gently translated to its nest the tired gathered in from toil some to repose and some to sit and smile around the genial glow of kitchen hearth away the hours in harmless mirth but they more that pair felt the load of daily care theirs was an equal share of bliss to know of deeper joys from happier thoughts that flow and now they kindly speak of all that brings around the heart such fond familiar things that had their language marked some written page it well had met the scorn of learned sage so trifling seems each item of that whole that still may weigh upon the soul and now their mutual store of separate thought that long da s divided interest brought book i unfolded to each other no reserve on either side no different end to serve they choose what volume shall the evening close who shall instruct or soothe them to repose what bard shall tune his soft melodious lay or or melancholy gray what with sober pen in page describe the ways of men or with style or johnson ninth his pile of and periods round the ear ninth endless pomp of sound these and their wise all were there and all content that narrow space to share men for whose range of thought the heavens were and the vast earth but as an infant s ball l found such elements in other minds as none but might genius ever finds yet here they dwelt together side by side alike of love and hate and pride the sons of the soil all meekly bound all quiet close and still silent or at another s wiu their petty extinct forgotten lost for ever fixed what men applauded most but now all lighter pages laid aside that holy book the comfort stay and guide of through this of tears at hour of needful rest appears deeply was the solemn voice of him who read that sacred strain his choice falling as if by instinct on such part as seemed most meet to the heart with aspirations to the joys of heaven and profound for blessings given it is the holy hour of evening prayer descend thou b in book l lo the poor his sorrow brings descend thou dove with healing on thy wings if weary laden in a world of grief behold he with tears he asks relief fainting beneath the burden of the day he seeks the shadowy night to weep and pray if in the pomp of manly power he stand asking a boon yet seeming to command descend thou dove his earth bom pride control come with the of evening melt his soul if he hath ought against his brother come come heavenly dove and let one happy home receive them both one bower of peace be theirs a of mercy listen to their prayers if he have wandered from the ways of truth the promise of his early youth call back the prodigal thou gentle dove teach him once more to trust a father love but if his earthly home be all too fair then holy dove descend yet spare oh spare the sons of the soil let the dim shadow of thy hovering wings warn him without the weight of grief that brings a upon the bosom where it falls deeper for all the bliss its touch warn him but gently tell thy tale of tears blast not his hopes but yet awake his fears listen he thee to behold his heart thou not the vital part with less than torture less than fiery trial angel of mercy t then thy pour down the burning flood so let the end be glorious thou the s friend now autumn s late rising o er the hills sends down his liquid light in shining and like a radiant joy	41
just by tears his golden through the appears the sons of the soil the forest trees with fire the cot and village spire making the an ocean pure and white till bursts a world of beauty on the sight us spring no more bright summer s bloom is gone and the world wears a deeper graver tone grave but yet gorgeous deep but oh how fair the mingled hues that seem to the air as if the breeze brought colour where it blew and of gold and green and purple threw o er woods and richer fields of grain and hills and orchard sprinkled plain there is a fresh crisp sound beneath the tread of withering and leaves already dead yet brighter bloom the flowers that still remain as if they knew they ne er should bloom again book ii and still we hail a sky without a cloud for winter in his icy still the sunshine and still wave the trees their leafy boughs by the gentle breeze that like a whispering voice o er the plain then sinks to rest and all is still so still we hear the distant s call and silvery sound of and hum of wandering bee going forth once more to add new treasures to her winter s store and solemn of venerable flapping his wings from out the nook silent sit a of hb kind unlike to wiser of one mind unlike themselves when out in pairs the bustling stir of new life was theirs and ceaseless din of greedy cr and fluttering wings that scarce found time to fly though on the of love the wide of nature free to the sons of the soil how seems their very nature now single their their movements grave and slow the curse of idleness has away each bustling joy that crowned their happier day and far away through distant skies they seeking the silent forest for their home who has not heard their autumn voice and found the melody of nature in that sound harsh in itself were it near but oh what music to the ear hath it not language for the heart as well of more than man s familiar tongue can tell of flowers and scattered leaves and sighs and clouds that the sunny skies of withered wreaths o er faded brows that of time and death and sorrow and decay in one sad voice and a for the departing year book ii away ye idle dreams why linger here like bark this fruitless course to steer boots the cry of wandering to me behold the harvest field and hear the glee of merry as they bind the tlie maiden laughing as the band she with creaking load his team along the dusty road the welcome shout that his quick return hoofs that seem their task to so light their burden as they hasten back to wind along the s track but who shall paint the farmer s secret joy by the hand he leads his rosy boy and talks of fruitful fields with such a smile as tells of many a deeper thought the while for now there stirred within his manly breast hie silent movements of a stranger guest the sons of the soil fair visions yet but half defined and half acknowledged to the s mind that guest had been ambition in a heart more formed to the hero s part but he was wary prudent fond of peace and only sought his substance to increase by building and adding field to field that wider produce richer might not simply to possess he the thought of gold by ceaseless labour bought but men had lived to make themselves a name though strange as he was to their country s fame and might not one who wisely held the plough purchase the fields he only now he had one son and lovely daughters might they not live a different race to be less worn with toil less ignorant and rude and if more polished why not then more good book ii thus mused the farmer as he paced along or stooped the sturdy band among for his firm hand more able than the rest was seldom folded in his homely and shadows stealing o er the plain warned them that nightfall soon must come again with the last gathering in of that grain it was the harvest home and evening came with such a burning sunset words were tame to tell the golden glories of that sky every tint of beauty seemed to lie sleeping in splendour bathed in floods of light that far away from the sight till the blue heavens grew colder and there rose the star sweet herald of repose and now the evening in to fall and chilly airs sigh through tiie tall the sons of the soil why gleam its shivering leaves so white and clear what makes the y lane so dark and as moves the creaking team its turf along while tunes the his rustic song it is the moon from out the eastern sea rising in au her pomp of ttie harvest moon above the distant hill whence her light so soft and still glancing through leafy bough and hedge row green stealing the venerable elms between till falls the light upon the toil pleased they turn to greet her gentle smile then stooping to their cheerful task gather the yellow that still remain for the last team returns a welcome sight hailed by the jovial band with fresh delight it was the harvest home and shouts of glee were bursting forth in echoes wild and free book ii from distant and from nearer till far across the they rose and fell and one was listening with attentive ear well to such familiar sounds of cheer whose task of household toil had all been done with the sweet fall of that s setting sun save that	41
her bustling counsel claimed and her wild like a young flock demanding freedom for this happy day and laughed their thoughts away she heard the shouts and listening heard again it her heart to hear them yet more plain that might want her care she looked around o er the wide board with rural plenty then turned from out her lowly door to see how slept the moonlight on the how the soft were falling and the star of eve kept watch from its blue throne afar the sons of the soil she stood beneath a tree and leaned against a bought that oft her cheek had from radiance when the sun was high and not a cloud sailed through the summer sky while overhead among those leaves had the soft wood pigeon to his mate and now she stands beneath that tree and the white mists float round her like a sea without a wave so silvery and so calm that in their very silence there is yes there is something in the earth the air and the blue heavens that her soul to prayer while thoughts of deep felt gratitude arise for the rich han est and the skies the long the infant band come forth to watch and near their mother stand they long but hark their shouts of joy mixed i ith the laughter of her loved boy book ii who proudly mounted on the foremost horse his wild song with sounds more rude and coarse urging to pace the sober with gaudy ribbons fluttering round its head nor dreams he now of hopes to come of days more glorious than the harvest home the matron listened with a mother s love she heard that childish voice all sounds above through her whole frame there ran a trembling thrill like the soul s movement when the lips are still was it the depth of her joy her heart s warm welcome to her happy boy or had the of evening chilled her blood as all too late beneath the shade she stood for now there whispered through the leafy trees mysterious murmurs of the awakening breeze that stirred the shadow of the bough and waved the silken hair around her brow the sons of the soil they long but now at length they come their honoured master first she home what thee mary why that cheek so pale thy lips are trembling tis this autumn gale thou art too to stand so long at this late hour listening the s song come to the fire thy gentle hand and soon before the blazing hearth they stand some men would scarce have marked in such a if pale or flushed their s cheek had been for not the joy of harvest home alone every rustic look and tone but the rich produce of each well field was more than double what they once did and prices rising with the wars abroad the value of each groaning load but had the wealth of india been his own and he himself a monarch on his throne book ii not the first sight of thousands at his feet had his eye to forms less fair and sweet mid the full burst of loud he would have heard and known amongst the crowd that gentle voice to his familiar ear in all its tones so musical and clear and now with heart almost too full of bliss he sees and feels that something strange there is in the dim shadow of that sunken eye where mingled light and beauty used to lie she strove to smile but oh to those who love there is a fond faint smile all words above in its strong power to warn and to subdue with a sad tale yet how true what thee mary he could ask no more her drooping form to their own couch he bore he smoothed the pillow and he laid to rest the head that ofl found peace upon his breast the sons of the soil she said she felt less chill yet spoke of thirst and bade him go but bring her water first with eager hand she seized the sparkling draught and deep and long the cool dear liquid at length unwillingly he left her side for she began his lingering stay to yet when he joined the below no sign of fear he chose to show he touched no food spoke no superfluous word but bade them welcome to the social board so well his sturdy frame was and he looked around to see that all were served maintaining still the s manly part without betraying what was next his heart save when he stooped to kiss the child that in its mother s beauty smiled then and then only had there a tear but that a quick eyed maiden stood too near book ii that evening closed without the glee the songs or sounds of for all knew well that one familiar face was wanting there their meal to grace yet none would tax their master s silent mood with question that might seem ill timed or rude why she was wanting from that social scene where oft her step the most alert had been so they departed early one by one and soon of all that band the last was gone and midnight came and hushed was every sound save in chamber silence reigned around in that one chamber who shall the scene the thoughts that hope and fear hope that would build upon a feverish smile and fear that delirium all the while there have been nights like this let tell her tale of woe already known too well c the sons of the soil then pass we on for there are things more deep than words can utter or than tears can keep and nine such heavy nights passed o er his head nor knew the sufferer how	41
and obscure which but for novels she could ne er endure still she was kind and had the heart to love sweet children if ihey would but learn to move softly and gracefully and low and go about as well bred children go twas in such teaching here she found a band of idle under her fair hand book iii nature was yet too strong within their hearts for all to learn at once their different parts and scorn crept in sometimes and the rule she sought to establish in her polished school and they rushed forth when hours of play came round like pent up torrents with such bursts of sound from silvery voices and such laughter wild as left small hope to make them soft or mild the oldest girl with hair in close crisp curls around her cheek so fair rosy and o er with smiles of glee the worst of all that rebel band was she for if one moment she looked grave or shy some fun flashed from her eve or majesty set forth the grace with which her aunt all her wave yet was she grave sometimes by henry s side and to be near him was her joy and pride the sons of the soil grave for deep earnest love is ever so and she had learned this tenderest love to know to share his sport was bliss enough for her yet much she strove his sorrows too to share and oft would check her mirth to think and pause but ne er could fully comprehend their cause the world to her was all so fair and bright its petty cares so transient and so light no thought had she for of mind while those she loved were happy good and kind thus when her s moody fit came on and she beheld him wandering all alone she ran to join him that he might not be so lonely and so in mystery then would she tell him tales and gay and try to win him to his favourite play till he became a wiser happier boy and smiled again with gratitude and joy book iii oo thus the twain together through the fields the golden fruit that nature from summer flowers and leaves and murmuring and purple tints upon the distant hills from all things pure and beautiful and bright a perfect est of delight was next in age too young to wide as they wandered from their father s home too delicate her frame too slightly cast to bear the of a single blast she was a tall pale girl thoughtful eyes of that dark blue we gaze on with surprise to find them not more dark so deep the shade by the soft waving of their lashes made her forehead was like moonlight high and fair gleaming beneath the shadow of her hair cloud coloured hair that floated round her brow like over hills of snow the sons of the soil her mother s smile she wore her look of truth with all the touching tenderness of youth and something mournful too beyond her years that almost moved the observant eye to tears she was a calm sweet child like a young dove at heart for its lost mother s love love was her element nor could she live without this richest of all to give she would have loved her aunt and often tried evening came to to her side till quick forbade the child to press so closely as to spoil her silken dress then would she sit apart and wait and watch some glimpse of her dear father s form to catch or run to meet him with extended arms and that fond look the lonely heart that she was so like her mother he could bear to meet each day s returning weight of care but he was melted by this tenderness and almost wished the child would love him less book iii still would he press her kindly to his breast and on his bosom lay her head to rest smooth her soft hair and kiss her gentle brow wishing she ne er might live his grief to know vain wish in of the sad tears he shed alone at midnight by her infant bed he should have taught her lips the words of prayer and his sweet flower bv more than mortal care the youngest who shall paint her what line so delicate what tints so warm as those that marked in childhood s happy time her beaming ere it reached its prime health never glowed beneath a fairer cheek nor deeper feeling s power could speak nor e er a face more perfect in its and grace her brow was queen like and her in glossy bands lay smoothly parted there the sons of the soil save when the impulse of her will sent her young steps o er the hill free as the wandering winds for none could say with hope to be obeyed here should they stay her lips were like a s but her eye twas there her beauty s seemed to lie deep dark intelligent with such a blaze of living light as the observer s gaze high was her intellect her genius bold had been imperious had her heart been cold and none had hoped her haughty soul to tame save for the fleeting blush that went and came and mist of girlish tears that often showed her heart was yet more feminine than proud music to her was rapture not a flower on earth s bosom but it the power to move her soul to gladness and her hand quick in its art she could command to do er her fertile fancy planned book iii who could behold her with a parent s love nor deem her bom all rustic cares above proud was her lady aunt to show the child nor	41
with less pride her father looked and smiled yet something touched his heart with secret fear that all these gifts might prove her greater how could he save her sometimes he would check the impetuous pride that raised her haughty neck sometimes would harshly speak and sternly look or meet her quick success with cold rebuke but he forgot there was one only cure one only both safe and sure for human weakness or for human pride through this world s wilderness one only guide thus they grew up around him fair and free like flowers of summer round some goodly tree nor knew he then or cared not if he knew how full of weeds the soil in which they grew the sons of the soil he saw their bright would it last would their green stems break with the autumn blast he asked not for his bosom s grief had grown a sort of melancholy tone life and thus the world passed by its lights and shades unnoticed by his eye yet were not all things quite indifferent grown one spring of feeling closed its force was thrown into another channel most extreme in its wide difference from his early dream when o er his path the light of life had set deep in his heart he nursed each fond regret too sacred to bring forth to public gaze and thus he walked in his accustomed ways and mixed with other men and bought and sold forcing his mind to calculate his gold and there arose a sort of inward joy from out such calculations that would book iii his spirit up until at length he deemed his life less wearisome than once it seemed it was a stirring time in britain then war was abroad and all true englishmen were called to nerve themselves in heart or hand to their laws or guard their land and over this green isle of beauty came the war and the scarlet of fame the and the rattling drum breaking our rural silence with the hum of stranger voices and of restless feet that trod our like a street then ran the village maid all to see the glittering arms that gleamed and rustic youths the plough tlie soldier s nobler exercise to know the sons of the soil it was a stirring time for britain then the conqueror s hostile fleet was on the main invasion threatened and the eastern shore with many a field was studded o er dire were the tidings brought by every post of troops and of armies lost yet woke the war cry from ground and bloody field with glory in its sound and gentle eyes awhile forgot to weep so strong the call so loud and deep and britain answered from her northern her peaceful and her southern her bands their flocks and rose with sword in hand to guard their country s cause the waving the glittering and spear with bold defiance of all doubt and fear dazzling the wary the distressed the voice of pity in the breast till war became a sort of demon god and men could and worship under his fierce rod book iii nor was it glory s brazen voice alone that drowned the notes of pity s tone keen too eye looked on and men who would have mourned a single death a single wound if near their native hearth grew to the groans of thousands where the of battle drove his blood stained car that battle field was distant and that groan came not across the was not their o ii y but all their own the yellow that grew deepening in golden beauty to their view their own the wealth that british produce made ports were closed and strict laid on from the hostile shore and thus their greedy gains they counted o er blessing themselves for prosperous men in trade because they doubled what they once had made while breathing sometimes just a passing sigh for those who fought abroad and needs must die d the sons of the soil was william such a man as these why question we our simple tale with other tales of human nature told how grows the love and thirst of gold yet let us his name again from taint of that stain he was no but he knew that wealth though it could neither purchase life nor health nor peace of mind could purchase good esteem before the world could make the humble seem exalted and the silent sufferer softening the pillow of the sore distressed thus though he truly grieved such tales to hear of wide destruction from the fields of war yet fired with that old fashioned zeal that but for one dear spot of earth can feel each frenchman too a deadly foe created formed and fated to be so that death most glorious for one s s that country england always understood book iii how could he burning with this fire a lower price for english grain desire no he was like mankind no whit more wise the seeming often his eyes then let us turn again to that fair page where infancy was into age around his hearth and watch the tide of time flow brightly on ere youth had reached its prime oh thou art beautiful sweet spring of life by disease by strife the heart over thee to keep thee pure that thy fresh loveliness may but endure that storms may never reach thee nor the of sin or sorrow cheek thy blossoms bright the heart over thee for never more mien once thy bloom is gone can time restore the sons of the soil the rose or lily to thy faded cheek or wake thy voice in youth s glad tones to speak thou be ever thus life were too fair this world too lovely and too free from care by the clear light of thine	41
brow thy soft eyes gleaming under of snow the freshness of thy lip thy hair floating and o er by care thy step thy smile thy song the silvery tones that to thy voice belong but most of all by thy strong power to trust to admire and er is just by all the golden hopes that bloom in youth and by thy love as thy truth i would thee ere that youth is past and thy frail bark on life s rough ocean cast to the gifts in childhood given with all their fi and their bloom to heaven trees that flourished round the s home were bright with and the that come i den with summer perfume softly blew and woke the flowers mid summer dew q the sons of the soil green was the grassy plot before that door the sloping border richly o er for nice the eye that watched that garden now and choice the flowers her care had brought to blow while all within the rural dwelling too assumed a look less rustic and more new for there were carpets wrought by foreign and costly to the ancient rooms save to one window narrow and low screen was still allowed to grow there rose the tree with blossoms white spreading its page of promise to the sight on each side there grew a rosy bower with to the shower and darker its stars displayed gleaming and twinkling through the leafy shade like moonlight and above them all the ambitious ivy climbed along the wall within that low a vine was trained and taught its green to book iv into a leafy and throw its soft cool shadow on the room below the radiance of the sun when o er that rustic roof his light was thrown it was a wide bow window never now hath modem taste a scene like that to show but such a scene for moonlight there would come pale glancing beams into that ancient room with deepest shade from venerable trees that slowly waved their branches in the breeze while over the green turf and silvery dew e ch stately stem a line of darkness threw and then the stillness not a sound was there but the low whisper of the evening air and shivering its trembling leaves that oft a tale of midnight could have lingered long mid such a scene nor yet imagination s slave have i the sons of the soil alas there dwelt within that charmed bower hearts all too capable to feel her power nor was it in this lovely room alone that comfort reigned or taste for there was thrown an air of beauty over every one something that bade you welcome d your stay and seemed your lingering footsteps to delay something that new built rooms can never bring with all their pomp of modem furnishing to bear upon the feelings or to pay for half the pains it costs to make them gay yet looked the aunt with discontented brow upon these pleasant rooms they were so low it was no use to paper or to paint the walls were old the quaint the entrance mean she never saw a door that looked so like tlie master s being poor book iv entrance was every thing there was no space to meet a guest with courtesy or grace no drawing room she really never knew a house where comforts were so small and few comforts t the farmer thought with all this stir i see them not so as they were yet be it so these trifles touch not me so that the children and their aunt agree for they would sometimes break from her control and tell him tales that vexed his ver soul of idle strife in which they scarce were brought at last to yield and rarely l they ought yet was each cause of contest so minute no judge might settle the dispute thus would they the parent s spirit more until in hope some quiet to restore he sent his daughters to a distant school to learn submission to a wiser rule the sons of the soil but ere they went a most important cause for consultation made the parties pause where should they send them to the aunt believed her brother oft in his sage views deceived thus would she guide his judgment by her own that bright results her happier hopes might crown good schools were all her theme the farmer too sought a good school to send his daughters to but never yet was word less understood than that plain word of simple meaning good good is to many what they most desire to others only what will raise them higher y and thus the aunt believed those schools were good where vulgar persons never might intrude where terms were high and ladies all were taught to sit and stand and as they ought to sing with skill to touch the harp with grace to paint a landscape or a human face book iv to speak italian french and sometimes greek to write in angles sharp and lines these were the schools meant by good and here the wondering girls were sent for she was one who brought her ends about by talking long and wearing patience out and little knew her brother of the skill to win or wind a woman to his will thus wishing that her words would cease he oft resigned for very love of peace and now the girlish band of gone the turned for pleasure to his son he saw him n a tall and comely youth his eye intelligent and full of truth his step erect and bold his noble face and forehead high adorned with manly grace and he would call him to his side to give him counsel with a secret pride the sons of the soil even in the very faults he	41
seemed to blame the young to from love of and useless books but most from love of gentlemanly looks then would he talk to him of fields of com what hay must soon be what sheep be bid him himself amongst the men their admiration and respect to gain showing what farmers should be proud to show how much the master s hand can do thus would he counsel and the youth appeared at times attentive to the truths he heard but pleased with visions of his while far away his wandering thoughts had he knew his father had an upright heart wise and well meaning in the humble part he acted as a farmer and a friend and sage in common things could lend book iv but did the parent e er presume to say the youthful idly spent his day did he presume his pleasures to direct call them expensive or appear to expect more actual service from his hand then did the insulted boy indignant stand demanding if his father wished to have his son to be his servant or his slave yet was it youth s quick fire alone that woke in henry s breast when thus his father spoke one moment and the impetuous flame expired and he was all a parent s love desired prompt to assist and willing to obey er affection pointed out the way but where he deemed the elder judgment leaning to notions ignorant or absurd there he stood his ground as can in all the majesty of man the sons of the soil oh worst attendant on advancing mind when children fail to speak in accents kind fail to respect old age or hair the of parental care because the light of modem lore has shed a fancied round the youthful head could the fond mother when she her child with patient brow and voice so soft and mild answering in gentle tones its cry singing through midnight hours its or could the father his strong heart subdued to woman s weakness by its playful mood yielding to love the time of needful rest that he may lull the on his breast watching the feverish tint upon its cheek with fears too anxious heart too faint to speak feeling that this wide world with all its wealth has not one blessing like the hope of health to that beloved child that suffering lies than all earth s beauty to their eyes book iv could they believe that child would ever the scornful look the harsh reply to give would they not love and watch and serve it less no for a parents love was sent to bless beyond all calculation all reward the feeble steps of infancy to guard it is the only love to mortals given that asks no on this side heaven one year elapsed before the girls returned to tell their wondering father what they learned and hailed with joy the promised day her smile than all the rest more bright and gay for she who never loved that city school had broken half its laws and its rule twelve months she knew her bondage was to last nor she how the stated time was passed so that the moments flew the arose quickly and hastened to a speedy close the sons of the soil no deep stained character she bore away her faults were and love of play she was incapable her teachers said sadly deficient both in hand and head she had no intellect at least not much perchance they found not which the key to touch for she had been with all her follies wild at home the and the child quick to perceive and of speech teaching herself what no one else could teach and now she runs through all her favourite haunts setting her will against her lady s when checked in fun or told she must not now she is too old yet spite of boarding school and spite of age and spite of both refined and sage with dog she the garden round and the border at a single bound breaking the last rare plant her aunt has bought raising it up again as quick as thought book iv her with their snow white brood casting them down a perfect pile of food chasing the pony round the green where oft her infant steps at play were seen it was the very fulness of her joy that sent her forth more like some boy than school bred lady just returned from town with well dressed hair and fashionable gown yet was not always light and gay no real though so fond of play her heart had its warm of delight passed away like beams of morning light leaving a day not cloudy but serene softened splendour every scene she was no and her willing hand in household duty she would oft command provoking from her aunt a i smile yet by her father loved and praised the while so the sons of the soil it was thy mother s custom he would say walk dear in all the lovely way she chose on earth for pattern is there none more pure or bright for thee to make thine own thus learned though none was near to ask each servant s character and separate task spoke kindly to the feeble while she strove to make them early rise and quickly move nor was the cottage of the poor forgot well had her mother taught each lowly spot dwelt the aged or where mourned the sad and she too sought them out with looks so glad it cheered their very hearts they often said and often prayed for blessings on her head that one so young and beautiful should come to soothe the widow in her silent home that one so so happy should endure to sit and talk so kindly to the poor book	41
pane of that low window made part of his calculation twas his trade and followed soon the band of sturdy workmen each with able hand and weapon eager to destroy that lovely scene of well remembered joy who struck the first the farmer never knew he saw them all prepared and then withdrew through fields of com and bay with his old dog their oft accustomed way book iv till day the hour of noon had told and he the work of ruin must behold tis a sad sight though often seen on earth the ruin of the place that gave us birth total destruction of that actual scene from the ground as if it ne er had been tis not alone the old protecting wall that sinks before us as the fragments fall but even the space we used to call our own is mixed with common dissolved and gone we know the flowers of spring will bloom again the will renew their strain the tree that falls will leave behind some seed or stem or of its kind all things that e er on earth s fair bosom grow in some form or likeness will renew even dearest friends whose early was given severed below may live to meet in e the sons of the soil but never more around our native hearth when once destroyed can life restore its mirth all all is gone that well remembered door the sound of welcome feet along that floor the window where we sat in musing hour watching the listening to the shower the twilight shade of that spot the sabbath evening worship ne er forgot the chamber of our childhood where we slept and still more sacred where we oft have wept tears by the nearest friend unseen unknown the treasure of our grief alone all all have vanished by one stroke of fate man may destroy but cannot n m now rose a stately fabric to the view with front l ami with a ix rt in bold advance upon the green where once the s bells were seen the sons of the soil still waved the ash her branches wide those walls that roof beside still hung the elm her of green that sheltered once now but adorned the scene still spread the and bright their scented to the sight still glowed the border with its bloom and still the sent its rich perfume around abroad upon the air mingling with cool and rare no more the ancient lowly door was seen inviting every step that crossed the green but now a noble seemed to guard that hall where base intrusion was where smoothly swept a graceful line of road as if to point the gentleman s abode why not the british has his box where wait and servant book v the man of may boast his costly wine and ask the of the land to dine may buy the fields by won and purchase next a title for his son who him his carpets or his plate his grounds his green house on his entrance gate who him his freedom to the high bred horse he ne er has learned to ride who him through all this generous land the hard earned privilege of looking grand but should the too grown dare but to lay bis and down or moving onward with the march of mind leave his dull habits and rude haunts behind should he presume ith honest gains to buy city undisturbed enjoy loud the then put do n put do mi bind to his native earth the adventurous the sons of the soil from his hold this luxury and excess double his rent or make his profits less sons of the soil ye were not born to be servants or to the proud and free pleased with the sunshine of a few short years heedless i grant your lavish waste appears but you have claims upon your native land no bosom ever could withstand and should your virtues vanish from her soil vain were the strife of toil along the trampled and smoking plain to wake the glory of that land again i am a woman and i must not say m at should do or what y yet would i ask what nation could be great land was sacrificed to serve the state book v whose fertile bosom with its robe of health its fruits its flowers its fields of golden wealth were and that the fiery glow of moving o er those fields might go the bloom of paradise sending afar their breath all her rural green to make the landscape one vast map of roads one universal roaring wide between the realm of waves on either side one mighty engine with its ten thousand human beating is this the land on which a god of love looks down from throne above this the reflection of his given to show mankind some transient glimpse of heaven tis not that hearts amid the bustling throng may not to heaven s own sacred fold belong the sons of the soil but does this life by restless millions led promote the cause for which a can mere industry or art his image in the human heart no let the furnace glow the engine roar the living glide from shore to shore if human reason finds no time to pause to think of god or contemplate his laws if human love tossed in the general strife holds not the anchor of eternal life if locked in actual labour of the hand by wisdom ignorant we ignorant of au true knowledge or the sense of good and evil with their consequence how shall we prosper as a nation how in aught that our nature grow in aught that gives true riches how increase in aught that how find our peace book	41
v pass we to other a stately dome was that which now the farmer called his home and all sat down with well contented air to watch improvement still there the aunt looked on and smiling gave command with her never hand each apartment drawer and shelf consulting others acted for herself was in thought above below visions of future comfort seemed to grow but while she mused a sigh would sometimes tell past to her was yet remembered well cared little for the humble past her soul s proud anchor in the future cast that unknown future seemed a world of wealth from whence she drew for her young spirit s health for satisfying draught had never yet passed her warm lips her morning sun might set were there not brighter worlds to win elsewhere beyond the circle of her native the sons of the soil genius that of the brain was hers taste that too oft the impossible prefers ambition searching for some good with vague emotions still less understood pleasures and pains a host that never yet the vulgar pathway crossed all these in her ardent mind if not more happy made her more refined gave to her spirit even in early youth its thirst for beauty more than truth and with this impulse came how oft it comes disdain for means and lowly homes and all the intercourse of rural life with homely matron or domestic wife these scarce wishing to offend yet wishing less to call such neighbour friend her friends were in the books of taste she loved the woods the hills the valleys where she the she designed the scenes she drew from her own bright imagination new book v the masters old whose pictures the wall where stood her mirror richly framed and tall reflecting in its her form with forehead but with warm too warm too true to woman s early prime for goddess of the time nor less her passion for the sister art whose power more quickly the human heart was musical and had the skill to sing and like a but loved the science and her ear was pained by sounds to dear thus many a joy her happier sister knew was to her exalted view and while on s brow contentment sat to share some fate with deeper fondness for poetic lore henry was formed to live nature more with his own favourite by wood and stream of summer birds and autumn to dream the sons of the soil while her own feelings seemed but to smile or suffer for the rest yet did the happy band united in nature but the same in love along the paths of early life free from its care and sordid strife if melancholy sometimes touched their brows twas but as evening shadows touch the rose its bloom meets the morning lights and their young hearts soon glowed with new delight the farmer s mansion now was all complete with spacious hall by vulgar feet with and pillars high around whose base no weeds might lie and not the more proudly the goodly edifice his taste had planned book v than looked the inmates on their work within where costly furniture well placed was seen costly indeed the oft would say tis yours to choose my part alas to pay yet even to him had grown the list of things he longed to call his own for one still brought another in its train if this was elegant must that be plain good taste forbade if modem why spoil the whole by those old curtains there if music in this deep recess we place a handsome must the r grace thus grew the scene as all such scenes will grow though few philosophers can tell us how thus swelled the catalogue and rose the tide of s bills already laid aside the sons of the soil what boots the wealth by ceaseless toil attained the pomp the splendour by ambition gained if lost or hidden from admiring gaze through scenes retired our silent steps we trace if rural shades conceal it from the world vain too the hero s conquering flag as well might or destroy if all unseen our treasures we enjoy thus thought as she saw the carpets spread without a single flaw the furniture untouched all the paint and of each well built wall but while she mused behold a splendid sight the landlord s carriage with his white and brisk out old and young and gay and ladies mounted on their grey a troop could the strangers be would they all pass watched to see book v and now a hurrying groom rides to the door and leaves this message at the hour of four the landlord s party will return and call lord william with his friends and all now mercy on us t cried the maiden aunt lost to her dignity how much i want even yet to finish off the drawing room brother young ladies henry i come there is no time to lose the news was told the farmer heard it with expression cold his sister wondered how such men were made so little natural feeling they betrayed no want however in the rest was seen youth s own excitement fear and joy between sent them on errands vague whose purpose strange each new idea had the power to change the sons of the soil alone with method moved the bustling stir of active life she loved and while she wished for guests less grand than those the exertion pleased her better than the cause henry declared he never would appear not he indeed why should such guests come there yet was he missing ere the appointed hour in secret yielding to the magic power that ruled his toilet where a charm was thrown around his form not strictly nature s o ti twas s part to gather gay	41
contrast their tints and form the rich but while her fingers trimmed the roses fair she quite forgot her own soft waving hair not thus o er her brow the bands were smoothly taught to flow leaving the outline of her head in all its classic purity displayed book v nor stooped that head to look on trifles low her aunt her sisters might their care bestow on needful or weu chairs the books the pictures she alone out the brings the down with the last novel lately come from town lays her just to catch the view opens the music most approved and new brings out the farther from the wall chairs and that all may wear an aspect more familiar as if the family lived always there and now at last the moment come from her room with looks that seemed to well this is life yet how unlike to william s wife tlie guests arrive what boots it here to say how fair the ladies or the men how gay the sons of the soil how smoothly swept the graceful along with those soft that to the great belong when high bom beauty seeks the lowly or merit on an humble scale with restless steps from room to room they go the aunt eloquent but slow lest her deep curtains or her pale to catch some s admiring eye should fail vain hope what to them were all the various colours on the wall more rare and more attractive to their sight was the cool and the milk so white the kitchen with and with tin and the back door where fowls would fain come in those pretty fowls the ladies loved to feed casting them down sweet cakes instead of bread pleased with the all things else forgot stiu they gathered round that spot book v while farming men passed out and still they stood charmed with the novelty of scenes so rude amazed indignant looked then to see the rolling gait of those coarse men and worse than all the bucket s rattling sound assailed her ear with horror most profound she pleaded with her guests entreated prayed they would just through the garden s shade at length her purpose gained she led the way and soon through tlie walks they stray with his landlord talked alone no o er his look was thrown no different smile he wore for dame in court or market he had been the same they spoke of business and their looks were grave yet all unlike the master and the slave the sons of the soil each bom to share a widely different lot dependence on the other ne er forgot without his rents the landlord could not live and freely did the tenant toil and give the farmer felt his station far below yet o ned a s right to stay or go how sped those moments to the fluttering throng bright garden and green among the day that dawned on this the hour most of fancied bliss lord william was an honoured name known to the world and could he be the same he was and heard him talk and tell of battles fought and wounds remembered well battles and he so young wounds and so fair with hand and waves of golden hair tall and majestic was his martial mien in visions such a form had seen book v what could induce him thus to condescend with his vast store of knowledge to say was he all the man he seemed no of his distant native he dreamed and rural sights and pastoral scenes had power to win his spirit back to childhood s hour then would the pride of rank the pomp of arms lose in his eye their artificial charms then would lie cast the hero from his brow o er his lip truth s simple tide would flow and listened like a wood wild caught by some strain of music soft and her eye intent her rosy lips apart her cheek with from her heart soon passed that hour the train were gone the farmer s family were left alone and even those who wished them gone before felt a strange void when that bright scene was o er the sons of the soil long did the aunt on their dress and sage opinion of its cost express while half admiring half in doubt hinted how strangely they had peeped about as if they felt they had the right to come and see the furnishing of every room then rose the warm defence on s part with those keen that troubled s heart for she was listening to the manly suit of one who stood no higher in than worthy of the neighbouring town and many a sneer upon his love was thrown not by the farmer for he knew him well and oft his worth and generous deeds would tell how he had with parental care his orphan sister sickly young and fair how he had to bis name from debts that darkened o er his father s fame book v ill and how before his fellow men he stood with character and good such was the man who for s hand nor knew she how to yield or to withstand he had her father s praise and that was much but yet to woman s heart how keen the touch of sisters satire and of brother s scorn this she might brook that never could be borne for they would talk with many a droll of and and lace of pence and counted out with care and oftener still of s trip to ware till caught the same smile though tears would sometimes dim her eyes the while at last she roused herself this would not do of her sex unkind the sons of the soil would he have suffered insult on her name	41
deep answering stained her cheek with shame this would not do she went at evening hour and found her brother in their favourite bower she saw him musing lost in gloomy thought and wished some joyful tidings she had brought henry she said and kissed his mournful brow what thee dearest am i not to know henry replied half angry half distressed some strange emotion in his breast my father tells me we are wrong and have been quite mistaken all along about the expenses he has had to meet with prices for his and wheat i asked him if be meant me still to live beneath his roof he would no answer give book v nor seemed the idea willingly to come that i must sometime seek a separate home he spoke of all the cost this house had been the grounds without the furniture within would i could now call back the ancient one or claim the portion of an only son is this the case said then i know at once dear what i ought to do smile not yes i i iu give you leave to smile and my fixed purpose will declare the i love the man at least i think i could oft your mirth in mood and i will love him better for i see there is more need than once there seemed to be for us to seek our native hearth some lasting shelter and some home on earth yet henry dearest grant me one request it is not much to soothe a sister s breast the sons of the soil i could not ask it would your pleasures be in aught for this to me but my own brother i have borne too much of that rude handling that touch that wounds the spirit say no more he kissed her cheek that burning tears fell o er and promised faithfully nor broke his word that from that hour his jest should ne er be heard y c there are some minds that never feel their power while beams the light of pleasure s sunny hour unknown their strength to combat ills while the sweet draught their cup of gladness fills the sons of the soil then are they sometimes vain capricious too to themselves the slightest breath them and they fear yet scarce know why their onward course to steer but let the storm come darkening o er their way no more amid the restless surf they play but sweeping forward on the nor wind nor wave can stem their course again was one of these a child a girl wild a woman sensitive and quickly moved by praise or censure from the few she loved thus had her lover urged his suit in vain she yielded not yet feared to give him pain one day pleased she heard him praised another changed by laughter idly raised her aunt s derision and her sisters scorn the hopes of better feeling bom book vi but were they true the tidings henry told her father suffering from his want of gold no power no means her brother s wish to grant her sisters useless and extravagant it was too true her father now could raise but half the income of more prosperous days and her strong purpose firmly fixed at last all weak mis to the winds she cast she could be happy that she never feared with one whose goodness more and more her father s home would still be bright and gay for those who lingering in that home might stay but she more would hail the welcome thought her bread should never by his toil be bought henry was silent now or kindly spoke for deeper thoughts within bis bosom woke had seldom joined the jest and s scorn grew with the f the sons of the soil ere came that day of mingled joy and pain the first link breaking in their household chain a few short weeks were left to yet to teach her faithful memory to forget to build her future out of things unseen her home without the garden and the green to cast her hope s bright anchor in the sea and wait the issues and now to make the bond more close the prudent lover ventured to propose his orphan sister as a guest should come to share the welcome of the farmer s home she came and kindness and respect were paid both warm and genuine to the town bred maid foot small waist and pallid cheek the tenderest mould of human form she was an orphan left in childhood lone ko mother s love around her cradle thrown book vi her helpless infancy her only and thus her brother from its earliest hour in all things else a prudent man and sage had watched too fondly o er her tender age had spared her youth with discipline to train and thus consigned her to a world of pain true she appeared most gentle kind and fair as characters so often are but a spoiled child to feeble woman grown let no man love the cost will be his own it was the time for waving woods to show the tints that as they glow for golden grain to wave along the field for orchard boughs their rosy fruit to yield and still the joined the band sharing their labour with hand and henry joined them too but oftener strayed to where his sisters wandered through the the sons of the soil seeking the nut the purple or fruitful with its bough or pausing by the brink of brook for social converse or for idle book while plied her needle by their side and oft to stay their rambling footsteps tried here henry found them not like of old bathing their in the fountain cold but laughing merrily with glee his welcome form in rustic garb to see	41
gates of remembrance back to walk again through childhood s track to see the past as oft its page appears without its trials and without its tears to turn and watch the best beloved on standing upon the soil that gave them for the last time yet not to stay so bright the hope that them away the sons of the soil yes there is luxury in grief like this something that almost turns our tears to bliss while thoughts flow from heart to heart and no one dares to utter we must part t such was the evening but when morning rose a different scene awoke them from repose guests from both town and country white and and glowing on the sight in waiting of all at doors and windows servant maids away they a fluttering along beyond the shade at length they reach the little church yard green and pass its venerable elms between cottage their spinning wheels forgot and village children hasten to tlie spot book vi what the father that he not brook that gazing why that altered look can heart like his find aught to here yes he hath seen one white and clear and now he thinks yet fain his thoughts would of the last time he met that gazing crowd the next may be to raise another mound another on that ground whose will it be oh question full of fear who best can my home hath not been here twas an old wedding and there came relations of all character and name for that one day distinction laid aside poured good wishes on the blooming bride they were a group from far and near yet welcome all and was tlie cheer and wide was spread the richly furnished board before that mansion s hospitable lord the sons of the soil then rose the playful smile to s lip to see how strangely people taste and all unused to touch the glittering plate which marks to them the tables of the great scarce with respectful tone and look she spoke for henry s glancing eye her laughter woke as gathered in their friends with aspect strange while strove the aunt to and arrange yet they not amiss served was each guest with choice and the very best no labour lost to satisfy or please no fear the keenest hunger to vast had the preparation been and vast admiring wonder of each rural guest dishes were there of which they ne er had heard those best known so strangely were prepared so strewn with flowers so and displayed vain their how such things were made ignorant what to ask for or to trust they half desired again the homely crust book vl till william pressed them to partake with heart warm smiles that ever make when freedom reigned amid the happy throng too fain at last their welcome to twas an old fashioned wedding and the sun went down before the parting had begun that sad sad parting when the household chain is broken never more to hold again one severed link perchance the there how shall the chain of love that fragment spare the bride and bridegroom with the guests all gone sadness around the farmer s hearth was thrown for sorely missed was s flitting form her willing hand her greeting frank and warm when gathering in beside the evening fire she looked around with smiles that never tire the sons of the soil henry alone who would have felt the most had no sweet dream his mental vision crossed walked to and fro along the silent room and smiled scarce conscious of the gloom for he had won from that fair orphan girl a beyond all price a precious pearl the love the confidence of her young heart and thus he smiled when others sighed to part thus woke the morning light with joy to him his future now no longer dark or dim no more he the farmer s homely toil his secret visions brightening all the while labour was light and tasks of duty now cast not a cloud upon his ardent brow twas the first dawn of manly hope that gave strength to his will and made his purpose grave that swept the fairy dreams of youth aside and filled his bosom with a generous pride to break away from selfish pleasure s to be to one and for her sake to all book vi within whose sphere his influence might extend the man of the the friend love hath been said to seek the leafy moonlight and mountain haunts by men to the world and shrink from vulgar day or in soft sighs to breathe itself away but henry s love formed on a different plan the poet dignified the man and taught him how to live and think and feel as one who labours for the general thus would he close the fascinating page the experience of age called his attention to his father s farm to raise the shed or keep the cattle warm and scarce one hour of would he spare to seek the brood or timid hare yet was his promise to lord william made to with him along the leafy the sons of the soil to the field or climb the hill startling the where the woods were still sending along the lonely wilderness their echo signal of distress and bright the rosy that called them forth the sky the breeze blew north the long grass bent beneath a sheet of dew save where the s wandering feet brushed through or bounding dogs that far and wide till called and to their master s side one moment drooping patient meek and slow the next away across the fields they go impelled regardless of all future by their of life of life pent up within the weary stall shut out	41
from sunshine and free air and all man in and yet to the poor dog that suffering lies book vi bright was the mom and lovely was the scene as burst the sunlight o er the deepening green the purple and the glow the woods in the deep below where hastening on its way a swollen brook rippling along its pleasant took sound was there none but this along the hill save the nut answering and then still or of wandering sheep or rustling tree as winged the fluttering bird its flight so free is it not happiness to stand and gaze mid the deep silence of such autumn days the est gathered in man s labour done nature reflecting back a sun smiling yet scarce with joy asleep not dead her of round her head it is not happiness for man his bliss the woods from silence deep like this the sons of the soil with the brute echo of his barbarous gun and victims quivering cry that scream and run vain are the autumn tints to him his eye no charm beyond the hare can spy vain are the rippling streams his anxious ear but the s sound can hear vain all the brightest by nature given her scenes her forth of heaven if man must ever mar her face and o er her realm his bloody pathway trace there is a to the traveller s eye hope s constant pointing to the the village spire above the trees that throw their mournful shadow o er the graves below the sons of the soil and well the eye long used to other lands again the valley where it stands the green hill the hedge row and the lane the meadow stream through the plain by the bridge where meets the village maid her rustic lover in the evening shade all these with their soft colouring warm and true the wanderer b faithful memory can renew nor time nor change nor distance can thb lovely landscape ever green and fair tis for the village spire the school boy looks returning home from masters and from books to half his classic lore away through the bright summer s holiday tis for the village spire the maiden sighs while gazing fondly with her tearful eyes she sees it gleaming through the twilight gloom when first her footsteps leave her native home for the village spire the exile with yearning bosom as remembrance turns book to all he was and all he might have been had he remained as simple as that scene nor looks the eye of faith there upon that rising high and clear pointing from out the things of earth to that bright realm where sorrow ne er had birth and loved to think and gaze upon that scene well known in early days when wandering with her sisters forth they came to seek the lowly door of village dame or when with cordial by their mother sent to the old cottage in the lane they went to see the sick man on his humble bed and feverish child within its cradle laid long sickness in the poor man s home and death most wished for seems most to come the feverish child that fearful hour survived had now at woman s brightest bloom arrived the sons of the soil while the old father scarcely half restored his state and helpless doom yet nursed him well and made his hearth look clean and cheerful though it wanted mirth for theirs was real poverty to know that fatal so sure and slow that oft from cheek of beauty eats the rose and o er the path of age its throws twas in this cottage first that found the reverend of the round a venerable man with hair and staff in hand meet sign of pastoral care here too she heard him read the words of truth with well timed counsel both for age and youth and she would listen with attentive ear until that voice its tones so firm and clear gave to those truths an impulse o er her soul powerful alike to soften and control book vii little she learned of doctrine less she knew of points disputed by the learned few but deep and ardent was her wish to prove how much she felt a dying s love how her bosom to redeem the time the wasted moments of her girlish prime and she would ask in accents meek and low tliat holy man to guide and teach her how she was a simple child in wisdom s ways yet could she sing her heavenly father s praise with feelings more intense and more profound that earthly bliss she never yet had found for much that others felt not pained her mind she was too delicate and too refined too gentle for this world with its rude strife and thus she seemed almost to shrink from life like some frail bark that having put to sea finds the dark heave too tossed and shattered by the raging main it fain would seek the port again the sons of the soil oh where should suffering soul like this find peace amid the world s wild storms that never cease or such meek dove find shelter for her breast save in the ark of everlasting rest twas not alone to muse and think of heaven that s mind to better thoughts was given though well she loved at evening s twilight hour to yield her soul to contemplation s power yet was she found with each returning sun awake to life its serious tasks begun prepared to meet the duties of the day as those alone can be who rise to pray and now her brow so pure and calm before with a more heavenly radiance was spread o er she more patiently would bear reproof suffer injurious thought	41
nor stand aloof from occupations once degrading deemed that now a part of christian duty seemed book vii now was she seen with every sabbath day at mom and noon to her cheerful way through summer s heat and winter s rain to that old church beside the lane where groups of girls to meet her first would try and look their welcome as her steps drew then would she lead them through the solemn aisle and check the forward step and smile with mild authority but look severe inspiring love and still commanding fear how shall the be made to learn tliat youthful generous needs must s urn the mock majestic of his petty rule that vainly fights for master in liis school can he believe mere punishment bring to the breast where follies spring can he believe while peeping all about to find the whispering or the sleeping out the sons of the soil with cane in his eye and cut that makes the cry can he believe or will his pupils say that this is worship on the sabbath day his thoughts in with what they hear of christian charity and fear cast out by love no while they turn again to where the preacher his strain they hear the stroke of prayer book on the head of some tired or their own instead shame would we cr upon this scene of strife but that it represents poor human life our best mingled with our works of love with passions that destroy so gross the ignorance that blinds our eyes to human nature ever in disguise that e en this may sink to rest thanking his maker he has done his best book vii nor could the graceful form of move on her of love one eye there was that watched her bending low truth on her lips and peace upon her brow her snow white hand extending round the form of rebel child so rosy rude and warm so well content in ignorance to dwell and scarce by that soil touch constrained to spell that common patience would have pushed aside ttie and some other tried but she was in a sacred cause and hence her and her strength arose yes there was one who marked her placid look and sometimes turned from off his holy book while hung the attentive audience on his breath to see if took her seat beneath a young who had come to share his sacred duties with the there for feeble grew the venerable man his years advancing to life s utmost span the sons of the soil yet while his people hailed him with delight they thought the better could could read more and charmed the ear with voice more musical and smooth and clear could speak in silvery tones and soft with bland expression more inviting oft than real kindness clothed in homely dress though for the hour of trial how much less yet was he kind for he was mild of mood and while he saw the fact scarce understood how any man should let such fiery guest as guilty passion desolate his breast thus were the sinful doubly so to him who saw temptation through a glass so dim it seemed a thing far off amongst the vile while he from his proud eminence could smile and wonder at the mass below of ignorance and guilty woe book vii well in doctrine he was fain to impart the knowledge he had gained though not by heart of best oft would talk and tell and high authorities could quote as well with ready finger point the text expose the false s vain pretext proving whatever might be said or thought his memory at least had been well taught all this to seemed a mine of gold wisdom s true its endless worth and she would listen anxiously intent to catch whatever the learned student meant till question came at last of her belief burned her cheek with shame as well as grief to think how low how ignorant her mind compared with one so and refined yet she confessed herself as one who fears still hopes assistance from the friend who hears the sons of the soil and while the glistening tear drops her eye she looked more like an angel from the sky sent down to minister than guilty child how could he answer but in accents mild too mild alas for yer young heart to bear without that impress time can never wear nor effort move nor hope with colouring gay nor sorrow wash with all her tears was formed to love not with excess nor weak display of tenderness but with deep thoughts that seemed so meek and still yet her fond bosom s utmost bound could fill its various that used to lie before to one sweet melody the man who lightly speaks of woman s love knows not that precious pearl all price above book vii he sees her smiling through the sunny hour and vain and of power sporting with passion that she loves to calm wounds that she may pour the ambitious to subdue yet quick to show the willing tears for other s pain that flow he sees this fluttering thing with eyes so bright tortured by pain by delight he hears her promise never more to and calls the gift she him her love oh worse than insult to that sacred name to call the glimmering of such feeble flame that constant light by gracious heaven bestowed to cheer the pilgrim on life s road but there is love in woman s heart of hearts that scarcely with breath pure as a child s affection when it feels tlie first warm that o er its bosom the sons of the soil fervent and faithful as a mother knows when round her babe the arm she throws warm as the fire that lights the	41
martyr s zeal great as the hero s lofty soul can feel firm as true friendship but far more intense and more regardless of all ambitious to deserve vain but to be the loveliest object one on earth can see to suit his mood er he sighs sad with true sorrow not its poor pleased when he smiles yet not with vn d delight fearing to force herself upon his sight lest her weak fondness should be seen too much too little felt the magic of its touch love was s nor it came her cheek with many a blush of shame shame that she was not worthy of the friend who sought with hers his future lot to book vii yet she could learn his wishes watch his mood the boundless debt of love and gratitude could make it all her happiness to pay through the sweet service of each future day love has its attributes and never yet was bom without them or was half so sweet as when some other bands with its fair wreath like roses with the vine thus will affliction in woman s breast hope of compassion with the stranger guest and s tear her sympathy command when love alone had vainly sought her hand thus oft she not sober truth alone though clear the light upon its pages thrown yet while the tide of knowledge fills her mind her heart is less intelligent than kind thus when religion her holy flame to cast a round some honoured name the sons of the soil pure then and deep the well spring whence arise thoughts of affection wrapped in fair disguise the flowers that blossom on this earth with those that ne er beneath the skies had birth the landscape with celestial light for this cold world too holy and too bright sending to heaven upon the wings of prayer feelings too human for acceptance there and when the issue comes as come it must sinking too low beneath the sentence just as if shut out rejected from above because has touched our earthly love while venturing on temptation s brink was far too peaceful and too to think that danger where safety seemed to lead and thus she feared not that fair path to tread thus were the duties of each day more dear because the smile so oft was near book vii and evening came more sweetly to her eye a he she so much was nigh nothing was wanting now she once had been lonely and sad when gazing on that scene the church the trees and that low grave o er which the elms their dark green branches wave here had she wandered and had thought her mother s death so sore a grief had brought no future bliss could ever soothe her pain or the world look like paradise again here had she mused and wept those tears unseen but for secret channels ne er had been tears that will sometimes dim the sunny eye and stain the cheek of youth we scarce know save that the heart too of joy wants more of happiness with less and pines to think while pleasure s cup runs o er that this is all and can give no more the sons of the soil it was not thus with now her eye saw neither cloud nor tempest in the sky nor nor weed nor shadow on the ground nor leaf nor barren waste around for he who taught her spirit to with more belief though not with more desire seemed like a shield around her helplessness and thus she loved him almost to excess tu as not the year alone that threw its sombre where the grew the sons of the soil and spread its branches wide and graceful a li that stately hall beside but many an anxious thought had lately come to cloud the sunshine of the farmer s home not that calamity had fallen there but vague with a secret fear that though the present hour was gilded o er the future held less smiling ones in store nor was it on the s brow alone that care sat brooding henry graver grown partook the feeling in its deepest tone for his was disappointment vain desire of which weak hope is bom soon to with sense of wrongs as if his father could give him his portion if he would i his fair waiting for the of all her happiness with his with childish murmuring oft provoked his against a parent who had ever been book viii but too indulgent and too proud of him noting his faults with partial eyes and dim mean time had happiness beyond these thoughts that seemed too weak and fond and yet too much of calculation bom to move her pity or escape her scorn she had her store of happiness to her more precious far than gold not alas nor sure nor real but more enjoyed for being all ideal autumn was past and winter now had come with storm and tempest round the farmer s home yet brightly burned his cheerful hearth m as when our social evenings first begin mien in defiance of the blast without we stir the fire and shut the darkness out the sons of the soil and while the night came on with gathering gloom the crimson glow that lighted up that room threw all around its mellow tints and warm as if in mockery of the raging storm then struck the she loved so well and sung of many a lover s fond farewell of s song where treacherous roar of exile for his native shore of battle field and wild and shrill and hunter s horn loud echoing o er the hill then glowed her cheek with feelings warm and high that found no voice save in her then flashed her eye with more than human light	41
rose some heroine on the sight what form is that with high and mien hb hand upon the charmed pages seen turning the leaves yet with look watching the page of s fairer book book viii lord william wearied with the chase by s side his place turns to depart yet idly still for loud the blast on the hill is it the storm that keeps him there or that with her hair sporting with chains that women love to throw around their and then bid them go for oft would answer his good night as if she cared not when he left her sight then strike the notes of some wild mountain air he could not choose but turn again to hear thus sped those evening hours so quickly gone scarce believed the vision ere some sweet morrow dawned upon her view with the same colouring bright but how know not half the beauties of the year who that summer alone look fair the sons of the soil give back the sunshine of a winter s mom to nature s child with genuine feeling born the silent breathless slumber of the breeze the glittering frost on the trees the high blue vault of heaven without a cloud the clay cold earth encircled in her of silvery grey concealment meet for death hiding the secrets of decay beneath oh well remembered mornings of delight ere the white frost work vanished from the sight to watch the forest on the pane melt with the breath then grow to ufe again with bounding step along the fields to go and hear the pent up torrent s flow the crisp grass rustling underneath the tread its carpet around us spread the clear sharp air fresh and free while health s own rose so beautiful to see on each cheek and made the lilies there more purely white more exquisitely fair book admired but did not seek from art the purer joy that nature can impart she loved her music and she loved the charm that taste could even with a rustic farm but more she loved the rosy morning s dawn and traced with joyous step the grassy lawn for still she drank those draughts of natural joy which artificial wants so soon destroy thus she wandered forth one winter s mom say could it be to hear the s horn no for her heart was feminine and kind in such rude sport what could she find but hark they come the pack is near their deep mouthed loud echoing on the ear the wild and hollow the furious that tear the ground to follow the scarlet coats that blaze along the wood crashing boughs across the path away away as swiftly as they came they speed and vanish like some s flame ii the sons of the soil but wears a blush upon her cheek and in her eyes bright radiance hopes that speak sweet promise for that da s departing light when from the field returns the wearied knight now along the landscape far and near a shadow not of clouds but something that seems to whisper to the listening ear of dark and mysterious powers the earth through winter s stormy hours now wakes the wind with melancholy tone among the boughs that and moan and bow themselves before the gathering blast till the first rush of ant strength has passed when sweeping back they meet the foe once more and all becomes one universal roar then rise thick clouds before the sun and evening in with darkness while the peasant home his cheerless way ere the last light of dying day book viii sweet is it then to draw the curtains warm and hear the ceaseless fury of the storm howling around without one thought of fear that the fierce enemy can enter there sweet is it then to stir the evening fire to add fresh fuel watch the blaze bum higher pity the sailors and then look to see how many bright eyes beam with hope and glee sweet is it then to the social bond with minds congenial faithful hearts and fond to feel the best beloved on earth are near in that hour of safety more than dear secure and sheltered from the raging the robe of comfort that our love would cast around them ever closely folded now warmth at their heart and peace upon their brow love in the sunny hour is not like this it wants more deep of bliss more contrast with a rude and stormy world whose elements are tossed and hurled the sons of the soil around the sacred of that home where safety and never come and beside the farmer s hearth with those bright smiles that thoughts of mirth well pleased he seemed s tea to a soldier s story ever on his lip chasing from william s brow of care the sombre shade that sometimes darkened there henry to forget his love by tales of battle field the heart that move this night more animated more alive to all the joy that social hour can give he amongst them seeming happier far than wearing on his breast the star till woke his favourite strain stood the soldier by her side again book while stooping low as if to read the page that seemed so oft his notice to engage he said in gentle accents soft and sad may you ne er sing with heart and voice less glad and think not i am light or gay i only laugh to chase my grief away grief smiled she ne er had heard of woe that all around such merriment could throw nay smile not cruel heartless one or if you will smile only when i m gone gone r yes i soon shall cross the raging sea and you as soon will cease to think of me yet take this wreath of pearls and sometimes	41
wear the poor memorial in your hair the sons of the soil the maid was startled into helplessness she felt his hand upon her forehead press binding the silken cord around her brow while o er her cheek there rushed a crimson glow and then a sudden to her eyes not tears of sorrow only of surprise she spoke not how could language have expressed the mixed emotions struggling in her breast and he was gone forth on that stormy to meet the winds and battle with their might yet ere he left a promise had been made to ride together through the wood shade for the last time oh words of fearful sound who has not felt your meaning too profound too potent in its melancholy power ruling the destiny of some short hour on which depends the fate of future years with all its wealth of joy or waste of tears book viii slowly and mournfully that mom awoke and dimly daylight on the landscape broke yet went at the appointed hour the chilly blast or glancing shower fresh beauty brightening in her cheek and eyes with the brisk gale and healthy exercise the storm was hushed but peace had not returned the solemn wood seemed as if it mourned the fury of the winter s blast that from its boughs their leafy cast while all around beneath the horses tread thick beds of rustling leaves the feet betrayed sad was the of that gale among those stately trees that stood so firm and strong with branches cold and grey to guard the traveller on his silent way and meet that scene for love to say farewell the cloudy heaven its pall the moaning wind its the sons of the soil was gone and with him passed away the golden light of many an autumn day winter s dark hours how weary were they grown since that fair dream from s heart had yet was there promise of his quick return and memory s page on which her eye might turn and all the magic colouring hope could bring to tinge life s picture with the hues of spring these still were left and in her secret soul something that bade defiance to control something that grew out of her own conceit yet the dull lapse of many an hour would cheat telling strange stories of congenial minds and that mysterious destiny that winds its secret chain around the faithful hearted though far away by time and distance parted robbed of this confidence with promise had she the dull routine of life when the last weeks of winter wore that gloom well to all within the farmer s home u j a book viii ere days sunshine bring with all the cheerful of spring there is a time when nature seems to make a stem determination not to wake when the melt and swollen streams run deep and pools the brown steep when first the dares the storm endure the only thing on earth which then looks pure when tempted forth because the days are long light only seems our to by forcing out from every dark recess the desolation and the this the least lovely season of the year had now returned with daylight cold and yet henry smiled for youth was in his breast and hope a still more t h the sons of the soil up a world of pure delight e scarce one cloud obscured his ardent sight his father oft assailed and sorely tried with strange hard to be denied yielded at last a full and free consent and henry was or seemed to be content content at least his gentle bride should come to share the comforts of his father s home for there was room enough for him and her and surely all her presence must prefer so kind so so lovely to his eye what envious a fault could spy she had been taught by too and now like other household could sit and could talk of management and count the cost of some things though not those she wanted most true she was but he would toil oh how to see her smile and deem all labour sweet all suffering light tliat purchased her one moment of delight book viii had warned him not to make the trial until the maid more in self denial should learn a few plain rules of common sense her tears to check and not with each pretence of pain or to human nature common to deem herself the most ill fated woman wait henry dear the prudent sister said till a few years have rolled above her head i cannot teach her all at once to know that earthly happiness must ever flow back to ourselves from bliss that bestow believed not half that told possession was to him a mine of gold and like his brethren he felt sure if there was he himself could cure he was the safest guide he knew the best or if he failed in ought then love would do the rest the sons of the soil thus came the orphan to her future home as she thought a lovely bride should come nor spared her brother aught nor s hand withheld er its could command and took their gifts with smiling brow as if it was their duty to bestow hers to receive oh ignorance of right how oft this poor dependence meets the sight and pains the heart even in our favoured land where women cannot will not understand how they may lean on others and depend yet never know what a friend how they may be both gentle and refined yet want the noblest attributes of mind how they may charm the ear and please the eye yet live and for die and now with those bright days of hope spring came at last and slope book viii	41
lay smiling where the brown had been adorned again in velvet robe of green spring came at last and with contented heart henry prepared himself for that stem part which duty prompted to the fields he went with step alert nor did his heart though would have his stay by playful ere he turned away we not bound by claim said he that most imperative and just can be to make my father feel mid cares that we are at least not willingly a load a load dear what a word to use this is no time more polished phrase to choose and let us soften as we will the name truth the serious truth remains the same the sons of the soil henry was changed even now and felt her tears had somewhat lost their power to melt one only purpose seemed to fill his mind it might be noble but it scarce was kind to leave her gentle charms once loved so well for coarse rude men who came to buy and sell thus reasoned while she and wept but still his manly purpose kept for well he knew he must no longer dream his hand must labour and his head must scheme if he with name and conscience clear would the trials of the coming year and william now his counsels shared gladly with one who ever seemed prepared with willing sen ice and i ith feeling heart to act an able and an upright part book viii thus passed those summer months while s care was called to scenes of solemn service where the reverend bowed his head and she kept watch beside his d bed at length the scene was closed and prayed in seeming beside the maid that he might catch that mantle as it fell and in that parting spirits glory dwell it was a solemn scene and felt the sordid world before her vision melt with all its weariness and all its strife lost in the balance with eternal life oh could we linger by the bed of death how might we earthly scenes beneath but soon there comes a morrow less sublime and we return to things of time twas thus with though her faithful heart asked only with one treasure not to part the sons of the soil yet that she with a s care pure though it seemed perchance it was her was of that village now and oft with in her walks would go to hear the blessings of the poor welcome her step at every cottage door why should they dwell apart they long had known and acknowledged that their hearts were one so won at last her free consent and on the of hope he went it was one bright and smiling summer s day when all around in heaven and earth looked gay and within a cool sweet flowers beside her and blue skies above fair child of peace with sunlight on her brow if there be real happiness below twas hers in that bright golden hour to know book viii yes she was happy happy even here for she had much to hope and to fear with the whole world and with herself at rest no anxious tumult thrilled her youthful breast nothing to envy nothing to forgive was it not bliss enough to feel and live yes and the birds sang o er her with delight and the gay flowers sprang sweetly to her sight while the whole voice of nature seemed to pour praise and through that sunny hour at length she heard a footstep on the grass and saw a shadow o er the threshold pass she raised her eyes wliat could there be to chase the smile of gladness from her lover s face yet so it seemed but he began to speak and she looked down to hide her blushing cheek the sons of the soil i know not how to act a part grieved disappointed you shall know my heart i told your father of our love and much he seemed our union to approve called you as oft he does his favourite child and while he sighed to part with you still smiled to think a home a home he said than he could offer soon would shield your head i know not why but something struck my mind strange in his manner though it seemed so kind at length the truth was told would you believe your father can no marriage portion give v and is that all said heed it not we can be happy in the poorest cot t poetic visions charm not me have i not lived such happiness to see book viii then what remains she asked with timid voice can we not wait or has your heart a choice yes we could wait if there was ought to cheer or brighter promise for the coming year then what remains asked once again her pale lip quivering with a thrill of pain i scarcely know said but i think madness thus to venture on the brink of hopeless poverty with no pretence but creature love for tempting you know my yearly is but small he should have seen her turning to the wall as if the stones could pity and the blush that grew upon her face the burning of woman s feeling o er her brow and cheek and flashing eye that used to be so the sons of the soil it passed and never marble looked more pale than while she listened to his tale he marked her not his eye was cold and clear fixed on a bed of withering roses there he marked her not for different thoughts possessed his anxious mind and in his breast at length he spoke the more i view the case the more i see that misery and disgrace await our union yet it	41
seems not well that our decision i alone should tell looked up she did not quite perceive his real meaning or could not believe at length however it was made more clear she heard and understood and shed no tear he took her hand she drew it not away twas cold as marble and she let it book you comprehend my meaning yes i do i thought you must for all i say is true and i am pleased we can so well agree it makes the trial easier far to me and you will say it was your own desire not mine that our engagement should i will farewell then ever dear i m glad your judgment is so cool and clear true i can ne er be happy as with you but something to my station still is due and i to give that more respect a portion with my partner must expect w enough said i can understand and coldly he withdrew her captive hand farewell he said and left lier standing there like some mute image of despair the sons of the soil the birds sang o er her as with fresh delight the flowers looked up as if to meet her sight the sun smiled high in light above and the soft gale sighed with the breath of love the birds sang o er her and she heard their song why should they now their melody the blooming flowers her care was wont to tend was there not one to like friend great glorious of day source of light thy radiance the s sight and thou soft breeze with perfume laden wing to the heart what healing thou bring well the preacher in his said that all is mankind my seeming good that ends in real pain their toil and their labour tain the sons of the soil less wise take up the and say the world cast all its cares away its wealth its glory and its joy despise or deem them only dangers in disguise then speaks philosophy with like disdain of pleasure and of sordid gain nor these lie same theme adorned in verse or in a dream many a bosom with poetic fire and wakes the music of the maiden s throughout the land wherever truth is taught in every place where human resort or in the peaceful chamber of repose around the social hearth at evening s dose beneath the low cottage in the or where the author his weary pen this language still the ear thb world is worthless we but here v book ix united in this sentiment we see poet and sage and agree no voice uplifted to the fact experience too least willing to all are the self same truth we hear and ask what can we less are all sincere what can we less when he who first believed this solemn truth and o er its import grieved mien he appointed by divine command to raise the noblest work of human hand wisdom his and his pure his and his kingdom sure when he could range the bound of earthly bliss to make the fulness of enjoyment his could lay his heavenly gifted down to deck borrowed gems his crown could bow his head at last and fall a captive slave in pleasure s fatal the sons of the soil the lowest of luxury s cup drinking its bitterest draught of poison up are there not those who preach this even now and yet before the same false idol bow more pure more lawful in their desire but not less prone to up strange fire who call the world contemptible and mean yet on its bosom love to lean and not the preacher only but the sage and the stem who the age the and poet too have they not all one secret end in view to please the world they so despise to hide their faults and from her eyes whatever their happiness the while to court her favour and secure her smile book ix yes and this lovely isle from shore to shore beats with the tumult echoes with the roar the strife of hand the mastery of mind conflicting interests in one combat joined to gain the eminence of worldly fame and from the dust of earth create a name else why the pallid cheek the sunken eye the sleepless hours of feverish agony the midnight watch the care distracted brow the weary step the burning tears that flow the draught drained only to destroy pain s ceaseless pang or wake some dream of joy why the mute anguish of enduring years that in more slow but form the unkind reproach that love so fain would wrung from the restless impulse of despair the severed links of friendship rudely torn the averted look the the the sons of the soil all that misery o er life s path has hurled endured in willing slavery to the world go search the by the mountain side pierce the low depths where cheerless glide sail with the wave worn seaman o er the deep and watch the money laden merchant s sleep go through the lovely homes that grace our land by the soft bed of stand explore the camp the court the green recess the seat of toil the bower of idleness mark ever eye examine every heart and say if half the bitterest tears that start and more than half the deadly guilt that our fertile soil and our plains spring not from love of gold or dread of shame from fear to lose or hope to gain a name book ix oh could we always feel as some have felt on the bold mountain s brow when melt and clouds are floating far away and the green earth sleeps in the light of day or seems	41
to sleep for stillness around and in the vault of heaven its blue profound looks nearer while we stand beneath the skies too firm to fall too weak alas to rise yet can we gaze from that far height and see how insignificant each tower and tree each home and hamlet scattered o er the plain f ch lake and scarcely known again but we descend and as the below to our sight familiar objects grow the forest throws its branches to the the tower its ancient dignity the lake wide her bosom to the gale the lofty the distant sail the hamlet holds a hundred human souls and that green smiling home our destiny the sons of the soul thus we stand beside the bed of the awful scene with scarce a breath a word a or a secret thought not with some high and holy purpose then wakes the voice of conscience before then opens wide the everlasting door revealing all the light to mortals given while truth stands forth clad in the robes of heaven then the world away and the world s care and fade her that once looked so fair her powers her are nothing then ashes her gold and fools her mighty men and shall we having felt all this return and on the altar of her worship bum our very hearts yet one thing let us learn if we have fallen into the common let us from others who are captive there withhold the stem rebuke the harsh reproof tlie that bids them stand aloof book ix m for having missed not having sought the end to which we still our bend the farmer saw his error all too late to check the evil or arrest his fate fool that he was with the first gale to his bark and his swelling sail to trust the of that treacherous sea the ocean of prosperity shores are strewn with many a noble wreck shining waters lave the shattered deck and hide within their secret depths beneath the rocks of ruin and the of death fool that he was he saw his error now he felt it too if truth was on his brow and strove by manly effort to repair all that was lost all that remained to spare the sons of the soil yet while his pleasant home looked smiling and guests in his spacious rooms to while his wide table scarce could hold them all or hurrying servants answer to their call while forth they to see the lovely grounds to praise the farmer s taste and stroke his hounds to enjoy his fruit and all day long the garden walks and rosy to say if happiness e er lived on earth it must in some such lovely scene have birth truth bids us tell that all things were not quite so fair as those which met the stranger s sight no there was many a cloudy brow behind those lovely scenes and many an anxious mind and many a consultation how to bear or how the expenses of the year one blamed another william thought the too costly that his sister bought and she like her mother eve er the great house at length began to grieve book ix but henry trembled most secret fear er this war of words he chanced to hear for s sacred name his aunt would with tones that little sweetness seemed to lend whether it was that luxuries late enjoyed by the stem order of the day destroyed still against her secret mind her spirit had become less kind or that the gentle wore not now the smile of peace that once adorned her brow but and flattered by a tell tale maid against the aunt some lurking betrayed er the cause the consequence was sure small hope remained that love could long endure between such hearts perchance too much the same in their weak points to bear each other s blame twas human nature ever tried the most by trifling things that no boast that spring from some small root of bitterness and still grow fruitful of distress the sons of the soil twas different with the farmer and his son a happier nobler course had they begun strength lies in union and they owned the truth one had experience and the other youth these well might serve the end they had in view if both to their best interests were true twas pleasant then to see them range their fields the joy that smiling nature scarce knew they more for twas no fancied trial that called their mutual strength to self denial their country groaned beneath a grievous load care sighed at home and hunger stalked abroad the slow reaction of that lingering war still sent its starving tribes firom door to door and those who scarce their children s bread could buy must pay their or let the die one hope was left amid the general gloom still plenty around the farmer s home his fields were green his harvest grew and waved in golden promise to his view book ix nor were the sordid cares that pained his breast all that disturbed the farmer s nightly rest in those still hours when proud ambition sleeps and wounded conscience her lone keeps the long long midnight hours when secret woes press on the soul that vainly seeks repose when truths unwelcome that we scarce beheld by day stem darkness has revealed and rise and swell upon the view in all their naked too true of thought that might have flitted by when the sun was in the sky and life and motion in the earth and air and smiling nature all around us fair but in those silent hours what worlds awake hat shapes the monsters of our fancy take stand around our sleepless bed what voices speak from the long lost or dead making the stillness and	41
the night peopled with forms too fearful or too bright i j w the sons of the sou twas in these hours that william a strange vague tenderness his bosom melt while o er the past he turned his lingering view and saw what time could never more renew fair was the scene but fast it by and left the present all before his eye instinct with life too and clear naked and stem to aught but fear to each thought a stem sharp outline gave until the future came like wave on wave of some vast ocean rolling to the shore its world of waters with their roar here were the that awoke his dread host that stood around his bed lived in the future came with every thought tliat near his view that unknown future brought and asked what conscience oft had asked before for whom he lived for what increased his store book ix li nor his alone the sum of wasted hours of time of influence and of mental powers of all to the use of man for working out his heavenly father s plan one thought there was prevailing o er the rest with anguish in his breast twas of his children how had he prepared their hearts and minds for what must now be shared amongst them all that bitter cup that pride that misery must drink up he saw with all a parent s partial view their lovely forms their gentle ways and knew how dear to them the luxuries of life how harsh and cruel all its sordid strife and while his own told their doom and the storm hastened on with gathering gloom he would have them from that dark hour even with his life had heaven bestowed the power the sons of the soil he once had thought that was secure from the stem fortune that he must endure and scarcely if endured alone but o er her path strange mystery had been thrown and there were of her mind though once she seemed so faithful and so kind oft had he thought if ever loved the depth of woman s feeling would be proved in her calm suffering and her sweet content and the strong faith to woman s purpose lent bearing her up above the ills of life beyond its follies and beyond its strife but he was startled from this dream to find her hopes so willingly resigned the calculations made by a young generous self devoted maid all things considered duly and at last a total blank upon her future cast by her own will affection thrown aside as nothing in the scale with worldly pride book ix prudence was well but was not poor he had enough their comfort to and once so lowly meek and mild he could not understand his favourite child yet did he fondly call her to his side and half in play her purpose i thought he said your love had been more true my o n kind this is not like you she would have answered but her voice seemed gone and in her drooping eye the bright tears shone while her pale lip with silent anguish stirred and strife of soul but still no voice was heard did willing sacrifice e er look like this alas we hardly know what anguish is until the stricken heart is called to give its up and still to feel and live the sons of the soil father she said at last i cannot bear your censure and your kindness ill can spare but trust me for awhile time yet may show i have done wisely though you doubt me now nay not your wisdom but your love i knew a soul that would have above this worthless world and made its home of rest within the shelter of one breast it was your mother s and i dreamed yours was the same but such it only seemed harsh words that pierced her gentle bosom through what could the helpless feeble sufferer do she threw her arms around her father s neck and sobbed aloud as if her heart would break spare me t she cried oh spare me yet awhile smile on me father as you used to smile i have no power the real truth to show but i am very wretched this i know r book ix the real truth said william why allow such mystery in the case to lie if i could think that he had been to blame the world should know it and his reverend name bear such a stain as time could ne er wash out father said entertain no doubt of his integrity whatever you see or hear of blame it rests alone with me yet smile dear father as you did before and speak as kindly it will all pass o er i am not changed not altered in my heart i still can act a faithful daughter s part and time that breaks so many bonds shall prove how true i am to you how tender in my love again she pressed her lips upon his brow while o er his cheek he felt her warm tears flow it is enough he said i ask no more may pitying heaven thy cheerfulness restore the sons of the soil come to my hearty beloved child again fain would i calm thy spirit soothe thy pain and if i fail in aught or seem unkind be because i may not know thy mind and thus from ignorance of its tenderest may grieve thy bosom by some careless word he asked no more no more did tell it was a theme on which no tongue could dwell and at length it passed away still the mystery of a day had not so learned the will of heaven as to believe her	41
kindly feelings given for single purpose but to serve the end of making happy one peculiar friend of her o n mind she held such humble views that no exalted walk she dared to choose book ix but faith and charity might still be hers though hope had seemed to vanish from her prayers and when she strove to look beyond the grave twas but to say almighty father save rock of the i come to thee strength of the feeble stretch thy hand to me to me the of thy creatures come and bear me o er these gloomy waters home and with this simple trust there came at length a that gave her wounded spirit strength and she went forth again at mom and eve not in the solitude of woods to grieve but o er life s path with thorns so thickly strewn to seek for sorrow greater than her own to lift the latch where hopeless the dull task and the infant cry to penetrate the dimly lighted room where helpless suffering a sombre gloom the sons of the soil to see the father on his bed and hear the mother for her dead nor idly came her faithful step to these nor was her aim alone to soothe or please but to instruct to teach them to behold with trusting eyes the sacred truths she told and oft her gentle voice was heard at eve when summer their silvery curtain from out the porch or low beside the bed of death the couch of woe reading with serious tone and lip of truth that holy book the guide of age and youth and those who saw her smile of sweetness there or heard her breathe the very soul of prayer deemed her most thought the joy she bore to others was from her abundant store and the soft soothing of her tenderness from a young heart that never knew distress book ix is it not thus that real find heaven s own appointed solace for the mind and bearing comfort to the sore distressed return with peace for their own wounded breast yes and these are the deepest too though to a higher nobler impulse true theirs is the sympathy whose ceaseless flow springs from their own internal source of woe theirs the great in majesty sublime that bears them o er the trifling things of time theirs the true knowledge of what is else why that after heavenly bliss which never yet inspired a child of earth till burst that tide of woe that in the heart has birth the tears that fall beside the new made grave the and deep pall that wave around the funeral all attract the eye and nature needs must weep for those who die the sons of the soil loss of wealth the sad reverse of fate that the rich man of his state are forth and told by every tongue while friends the mournful tale all outward characters of human from human sympathy find some relief but there are beyond all knowledge deep and pangs too keen for s eye to weep that live and ache within the folded heart when no one sees the bitter start when smiles perchance o er the weary brow and from the lip e en tones of gladness flow oh how should years of agony like this be borne and yet such agony there is it is that mercy bids the come and look with eye of beyond the now days were gliding on and o er the grain bright shone each mom revealing to the farmer s view hope s cheering promise hour more true the sons of the soil how could he doubt the god of nature smiled and henry too his anxious fears by gazing on the skies above and counting all his heavenly father s love oh calculation made by man when rests his faith on what our eyes may of bright or fair in that plan arranged not less in mercy when the storm around than when the warm not less when rolls destruction o er our fields than when its richest store our harvest not less when turns our earthly bliss to woe than when in sweetest streams life s sparkling currents flow yet is it good to look abroad and see the joy of nature s to gaze admiring on this glorious world the flag of smiling plenty wide book x floating afar from every height in every valley waving to the sight what floods of life then swell the tide of hope the white flocks on the mountain slope the peaceful herds in the green pastures laid and sweet songs echoing through the leafy for all this fulness this extreme of good what can we render but our gratitude that how withhold or while we feel and live our heart s best incense how refuse to give so felt the when he gazed on nature s face and then he praised that gracious hand which freely spread the whole like a perpetual banquet for his soul twas thus he with henry by his side from field to field while yet the flowing tide the sons of the soil of hope and joy had scarce attained its height and sunny skies still glowed before their sight but soon dark evenings came and winds blew loud and the wide heavens were clothed as with a no sunshine pierced the gloom and yet no rain fell on the earth its bloom to stain there seemed a darkness in the very air something that bade the soul prepare at length it came fierce northern blew wild and tore the leafy boughs where beauty smiled the floods fell heavily and bowed the grain beneath the tempest and the rain it ceased awhile the had begun their task of hope though still the clouded sun kept far aloof	41
and hid his smiling brow yet they resumed their labour now and doubtful how the end would prove so cold the earth so dark the skies above book x nor waited long the tempest laden again they come the hissing shower low pools arise and into floods like rushing waves the leafy woods while beaten level as the plain lie lost and hopeless in the rain and william saw the ruin spread and oft arose at midnight from his bed to listen if the rushing rains had ceased or if the wrath of heaven was yet appeased but midnight only seemed to o er all that was bleak and desolate before louder rushed the foaming torrent then and heavier fell the rain drops on the pane how dreary were those hours of midnight gloom to the lone parent in his cheerless room and sorely did he need a hand to smooth his restless a gentle voice to soothe the sons of the soil but she was gone who would have stayed his soul from sinking by the silent sweet control of woman s influence and of woman s love bearing his spirit this rude world above sad were the scenes which met the farmer s eye when forth he went his scattered to tie thick heaps o er which the rank weeds threw their arms and down the burden drew while com in coarse lay prone on the ground in the clay these met his view and filled with rain and all his grain and then his dripping with the showers wasting in idleness their hours beneath the hedge behind the or where the extends her leaves yet all expecting payment on the day their full wages he was wont to pay book x it was a sight to move the farmer s heart to make the tear drop start in henry s eye for he had much at stake his home to lose his fortune all to make and he was young and life to him was fair how could he look around and not despair how could he look around and see the waste the desolation o er his prospects cast nor ask whence had come the how had he to merit such a doom or worse why heaven should blast the generous boon so freely given repented of so soon thus questioned but no peace arose or ever ill from reasoning on the laws by which thb world is governed and sustained enough for us that god own end is gained that end beyond the range of human mind most wise most just most merciful and kind the sons of the soil the by discipline to bear with brow unchanged the heaviest weight of care was sad but silent and no murmuring word or sound impatient from his lips was heard but henry restless as a child with dark almost wild reckoned his loss and counted o er his fears while his fair bride reproached him with her tears for making her the partner of his home ere he had known what sorrows were to come so passed that gloomy season and there grew from out the general grief new small but yet frequent who should most give up or most retain that seems the bitter drop that all when we have made display of casting away to find that others will not give their share or learn from us their luxuries to spare book x then each effort fails each noble aim if they withhold we long to do the same or while the good remains with them we wish it ours and still condemn thus all the farmer s family believed their purpose right but o er each other grieved watchful of the rest her censure oil implied more than expressed if dressed too well or looked too fine or had too weak an appetite to dine while she in her quiet way the could well convey or by her servant send an insult down the maiden aunt s to say not that means bring to dread save in the actual want of daily bread the sons of the soil they bring the very worst of human the bitterest draught our earthly cup that fills they bring domestic and envy mother of the sin injurious thoughts words that and the spirit to return the pain it suffers on the s head then say not poverty brings to dread yet came not these in their most hideous form in their full power to and within the farmer s hospitable home how could such fearful discord ever come twas but the shallow waves of life that stirred with the rude breath of some injurious word the tide flowed on more peacefully below no deep root of bitterness could grow and love was still the well spring of the stream though somewhat troubled did its waters seem book x twas near the close of that ill fated year when all things looked most desolate and while yet november s scattered foliage lay o er the traveller s gloomy way the farmer s landlord in his ancient hall prepared to hold a festival not for his friends his guests were now those who had learned to speed the rustic plough his the of the land their wives and daughters one united band servants and all asked to and grace his old hereditary home grace it might be or not for far and wide his delighted on their errand ride dropping a note of invitation here the man of wealth his courteous cheer startling the inmates of the cottage there where hands less delicate the meal prepare from house to house with hoofs tliey fly their thundering knock their dignity the sons of the soil the maid sets down her upon the floor and curious children peep around	41
the door the dame walks forth with pleasure sparkling eye proud to be asked yet fearful to reply while daughters scarcely to come to wait in person on their landlord s groom yet some less bring the foaming cup and to the smiling hold it up while others send their servants and remain behind the scenes meet distance to maintain thus spread the summons far and wide it flew while many a matron wondered what to do refuse she dared not and she scarcely would even if her prudent had thought she could yet how to dress to or to go into those splendid room she ne er should know it seemed as if her foot must slip just as the words of greeting passed her lip book x or that some dire calamity must fall upon her head dress ere she reached the hall yet with this train of came a secret pleasure to the rustic dame and if profusion ne er was seen before she would not spare she must be o er with lace and ribbons yellow green and blue and deepest red that seemed as if it grew from the rich crimson of her glowing face so much alike their and their grace strange were the different scenes which then arose breaking the peaceful hamlet s long repose fashions consulted charged to bear each precious burden from the town with care things brought to light long hidden from the view old dresses into new clothes made to fit for that illustrious night that for all others had been deemed too tight the sons of the soil some felt themselves arrayed for any court while others thought their utmost power fell short of what they wished mid such a scene to wear and still to all the appointed hour drew near how it then in william s home it seemed as if no summons there had come no preparation no consulting there could they not mean that festival to share truth was they were prepared for such a scene and only wished their family had been passed by forgotten an but asked how should their hatred of the thing be to go a rather than a guest and sit with hungry at that great feast it was too to their secret pride and yet their landlord s bidding they must bide book x and since it must be william said let us all hope some good may yet be made of this strange meeting such there used to be between the and their in days of and we may go to hear of rents being lessened for the coming year recollected then that other well bred ladies nine or ten must needs be there while thought aside henry would like to show hb lovely bride it had been difficult for s mind to yield a point like this but there combined against her pride hope s glimmering of faint joy still she strove by reasoning to destroy x the sons of the soil yet watchful eyes deceived or there had been amongst those lord william s servant seen so she resolved more to show her father s wishes to consult and go was held excused she had no heart to grace a or to act a part and thus she lent her willing hand to all to the hair and fold the graceful shawl her aunt she gay and proud the latest fashions to display adorned in colours pure and and round her brow a wreath of roses placed whose silvery above her temples pale as her beauty simple as her mind but long did linger o er that scene where stood more like a stately queen than form familiar gifted but with powers to live as we do in this world of ours book x no gorgeous clothed her graceful form no flowers her warm smooth lay the folds of her deep hair one band of purest pearls alone was there at length the vision from s sight the hour arrives she bids them all good night with looks of kindness almost looks of joy why should her grief their happiness destroy now are they gone the curtains ii and closed the gate that echoes o er the lawn she turns to her lone hearth and vacant chair oh hour of deepest luxury for despair when all are gone no left to see the tears of pent up misery no word to answer and no smile to meet the silent embers brightening at our feet alone secure no intercourse to dread no step to with approaching tread the sons of the soil deep night around us with her gloom soft beams of mellow light within the room hour after hour to nurse our anguish there and taste the genuine luxury of despair meantime the lights within the landlord s ball were glancing brightly and the wall displayed its curious colouring to the view and o er the scene mysterious splendour threw while smiling servants hasten to and fro pleased with the dazzled with the show now to the door strange come and trembling fair ones seek the room while wondering farmers stand and stroke their hair with hat in hand afraid to venture where they see the richly run and where they hope the has begun alas what hours had they to wish and wait ere by the genial board at last they book x rich fragrant coffee first must touch the lip in gilded cups from which they taste and and deem it well as to the rest though scarcely worth presenting to a guest still the moving on the sight from the red and white these clad in those in silken in boots and in coats of green while gliding here and there amongst the rest were dressed with silent daughters just returned from school beating the air with to	41
keep it cool there too was seen that noblest form of built upon nature s most majestic plan firm tall and free his shoulders broad and bold his sturdy hand well used to grasp and hold the sons of the soil his mien erect his foot placed on the ground with purpose fixed and dignity profound his temples with natural waves of hair his manly forehead smooth and calm and fair well with the deep bronze below and sunny tints upon his cheek that glow such were the men that britain once could whose homes adorned her land from coast to coast in lore perchance to tread the of the graceful dance yet firm to sanction and defend her laws at home but soldiers in her cause and proud at heart to bear her honoured name yet still more proud of her fame where are they now go ask the western waves the southern where they find their graves search the wild trace them o er the plain where the log cabin them from the rain or track the wide and say how fare the sons that england sends away book x but to our story such had henry been a perfect model of the man we mean save that his hand was fairer and his eye had more of beauty less of energy and he looked on amid the glittering scene unmoved as if his daily path had been with flitting forms and brilliant lights adorned all rude amazement his proud spirit scorned enough for him one form so slight and fair leaned on his arm and looked the loveliest there his honoured father too well pleased he saw close to his side the graceful draw lest vulgar freedom should provoke her frown or hands familiar dare to touch her own now changed the scene i doors were thrown aside and forth there issued such a sparkling tide the sons of the soil of flowers and gems and beauty for show that scarce the wondering farmers seemed to know whether from earth or heaven the vision came yet silent every social group became i and those who most had deemed themselves adorned their own poor now beheld and scorned it was the landlord and his noble friends and o er the space his train extends breathing around where er they turn their eyes that tone of welcome that in utterance dies what form is that clad in a soldier s dress whose smiles the glow of happiness express a radiant beauty upon his arm he sees no other not a single form nor eye nor look in all that moving mass before his seems to pass at length the farmer meets him face to face his brow the very faintest trace book x of recognition and he slightly as if in greeting while his ear still to the foreign tongue of her who looks so beautiful and young of noble birth though distant lands must claim the honour of her and her name they passed and mingled with the dancing throng and william led his child along both silent though he thought her gentle shook on his arm and he could understand though not for worlds could he have then explained his mingled feelings or the pang that pained one thought alone distinctly touched his heart and almost made the burning tear drop start his daughter ne er had been so dear nor to his kindly sympathies so near as in this hour of her insulted pride and thus he pressed her closer to his side the sons of the soil she felt the pressure woman quickly feels the touch that secret sympathy tis her mute witness that she is not left alone on earth of every friend and thus she the memory in her soul when o er her head life s troubled waters roll why linger we amid this throng to graver scenes our sympathies belong enough to know the feast and grew not to their height tiu mom her veil withdrew and o er the world her purple radiance threw afraid to meet even pity s tenderest touch long ere that hour had sought her couch put out her lights and laid her head to rest hoping to the anguish of her breast even from herself but darkness only brought more perfect torture with each burning thought no tear had yet her feverish cheek no word of sorrow had she to speak book x but through the silent night when none are near a wounded spirit is too hard to bear without some natural of grief and tears were surely given to bring relief was sleeping or appeared to sleep so began to weep with such excess the tide of sorrow grew she heard not the soft step that near her drew nor saw the gentle form beside her bed that bent with deepest feeling o er her head dear it was s voice sweet as an angel s and she had no choice but to disclose the secret of her woes while darkness hid her as they rose for there was shame deep shame with all that else had pained but this was mingling the sons of the soil with bitterest yet she told the whole and meekly asked for comfort to her soul she told how had appeared that night like some bright vision dazzling to her sight how he no sign of memory betrayed how with another pleased he scorned the rustic maid yet this was nothing can i tell the rest yes and for ever tear him from my breast the guests had joined the merry dance ladies and lords and waiting maids from france all in one many coloured while those who could not dance stood round to gaze at length the ladies of the hall retired louder grew the glee and more inspired and each dame that forth from out their hiding places came book x i	41
would have left but heard my father say we must not be the first to turn away thus came my punishment oh hide searching eyes and spare thy sister s pride returned and now he came alone all the proud but him were gone he came with smiles upon his altered brow and the poor farmer s daughter he could know could touch her hand familiarly and say how well she looked how happy was that day i fear there was a blush upon my cheek as he drew near and when i tried to speak i could not quite my trembling voice control for something came like gladness to my soul after long grief but oh it passed away and left such blackness never say one word of this to any human ear keep it dear and be more than dear i thought his words were somewhat strange and free and when i looked into his face to see the sons of the soil his real meaning there i read the whole his brow was flushed his eye balls seemed to roll wine was the secret of his gallantry and i amid those dancing might be his village his for an hour till pride or prudence should resume its power oh i and he once did seem so kind and pure and noble that i gave my mind to his smooth which deceived me so me not dearest if i show to thee the weakness of a woman s heart thine is i know a more exalted part a calmer course along life s path to trace with less and less disgrace said sorrow sometimes lies hid in the heart and veiled from human book x while deepest shame may bum beneath a cheek whose tell tale never more shall speak but let that pass come to thy sister s breast meet place for sorrow and for shame to rest cheer thee beloved one twas but a dream pass away and life will fairer seem and thou wilt live to love and hope again with less of confidence yet less of pain lean on this breast my heart is beating sore its burning throb will surely soon be o er yet let us take sweet counsel while we may i feel dear that i shall not stay long to be near thee and i fain would say something to strengthen thee as well as soothe would stretch my hand thy path to smooth tis an old story that this world is fair in seeming only all its joys a and we will leave this melancholy strain for more cheering and for truths more plain the sons of the soil will ask our heavenly father in his love to send us light and healing from above and guide our footsteps through the days of youth by his own spirit in the paths of truth it been hoped by many a rural guest who went to his landlord s that some great benefit would quickly come some good soon follow to his the sons of the soil some cheerful tidings that the man of power had looked with pity on their adverse hour knowing the harvest of that year they thought he brought them round his board to cheer and would with like benevolent intent some portion of their winter s rent in the s hospitable lore they thought no guest could enter at tiiat door or break the bread of plenty at that board without some kindness from its lord some bond of sympathy with secret power binding them all more closely from that hour vain confidence where had they learned this simple by the keen twas in their peaceful homes their of rest where sordid interests seldom the breast where man in his maker s plan knows not his enemy in man book xi if there still lives simplicity on earth tis where these sons of nature s soil have birth if there be those who know no fear men who can trust their fellow men tis here if there be hope that smiles are what they seem that human kindness is not all a dream that human fellowship and human love have something vital their mere names above if there be justice if a sense of right for the oppressed a fearless arm to fight if there be truth that nobly a lie nor knows the science of that treachery that rules the and the robe i i if these are ever found beneath the skies tis where our country s peaceful rise where men in the tricks of trade live but no longer flourish in the shade the sons of the soil bright were the hopes that many a smile and cheered the farmers m their wintry toil and william smiled amongst the rest the same hope henry s breast as forth they rode one stormy winter s day to face the tempest on the broad highway swift was their speed and neither brow betrayed of dark or of doubts a shade more perchance more proud than some full amount of rent they bore from home yet not the less dismissed all thought of fear that half would be returned them for that year troops they passed that mom along the road brisk there their rival sober men who seemed to ride and sleep through the mire with loud and deep some pleased to greet their neighbours as they went drew up in ranks as if with one consent book xi and talking loudly of the price of grain threw on their horses necks the loosened rein the as the town they and soon their landlord s appeared hailed by his faithful around with joy yet with respect profound some thought that none that even when a royal festival was held some praised the servants and a few their dress some thought	41
the great man easy of access more approved his horses and bestowed their utmost praise on one he sometimes rode it had been easy to have bound those men by love and gratitude s enduring chain they were so simple and so fain to trust to that great lord for what was kind and just the sons of the soil then let us trace them on their homeward way mien darkness fell upon that wintry day sharp was the and fiercely blew the wind piercing and pitiless as if to find some to search some part by which to a passage to the heart twas not enough the eye balls felt that icy shower in tears of anguish melt twas not enough the cheek was and bare robbed of all natural shelter from the hair twas not enough the hand that held the rein with cold or with pain but that rude wind drove back the folded coat with savage purpose sought the guarded through each small sent a quivering wound and then with louder triumph howled around and there were some who met the blast that night and had enough to feel without the spite book xi of or gale or winter s withering frost for now their last their only hope was lost nor lost their hope alone strange tidings came to make that day of memorable name their landlord kind and of mood smiled on them all and hoped they understood what the great pressure of the times required how able men in what they most desired as best and wisest for the state should be supported by their faithful in short amid the wreck of that sad year he plainly told them that they must appear r on the next rent day with an added sum that he was going abroad but one would come well and able to enforce in all he wished to adopt the course you have your choice he said to go or but i must have my money come what may the sons of the soil how did they bear those tidings some went home early and sullenly like children some pleaded and strove to their doom while others reckless with despair and drank and drove away their care till forth and with the blast they away and found their homes at last long ere these the board had william left its courteous lord henry had silently led forth his and both pursued their homeward way with speed nor had one word escaped them till they drew near to the lane where their grew when both the rein and slowly trod their weary horses that familiar road i have been thinking said the then whom i can spare amongst my men book xl all have been like one family to me but some must be dismissed i plainly see it my heart these cruel truths to say yet the old shepherd hardly his pay the poor lame boy who keeps our garden trim his distant parish will provide for him and s father so and slow to the new we must make him go or go ourselves henry as well as thus the catalogue to s i ell i once had hoped his father calmly said in life s decline to rest my wear head amongst these people and to find a grave beneath the elms that in yon churchyard wave leaving behind me many a happy home followed with blessings to the peaceful tomb the sons of the soil but i must act this cold ungrateful part must drive them from my door and from my heart bid them because their strength has failed age has or disease assailed this is their for years of toil this the sole tribute of their native soil twas even so and while that wintry gale swept through the cot and chilled its inmates pale while the black clouds burst with their load and snow lay thick upon the road the farmer forced himself with aching heart to tell his faithful they must part and one went home to spend that evening cold without a fire he was and old another tried to smile and say good night but dashed away the tears that his sight a third looked up into his master s face and would have spoken but his speech gave place book xi to sullen pride for he had served him well and long why should he stoop his to tell so they retired a silent train ne er to that well known path again they closed the gate whose echo brought to the love long cherished for their master kind they turned and saw the glimmering of his fin how could he wish their comforts to and he so wealthy in that spacious home where flitting forms were seen from room to room gliding about as if no thought of care had ever reached the happy inmates there sad were the tidings to their lu while busy rumour half the story caught and tinged the other half with darker hue from vague conclusions neither kind nor i mm the sons of the soil yet true it that ere a month had gone these men and more were on their parish thrown the tender known to those and those alone who feel the s woes and some were placed along the public way with weary hammer all the day others more ill fated worked their rounds from house to house their ears assailed by sounds that had no soothing for the sons of care and bade them anything but welcome there much has been said of slavery abroad much has been done and nobly that this load might be removed and britain s glorious name stand forth by one taint of shame and over all this isle has spread the sound when men have proved by argument profound that slavery does not only and	41
bind the human body but the mind book xi yet have we not within our favoured realm y justice and wisdom guides the seen bondage as the actual chain that the negro to his task of pain have we not seen when hands that oft have held the or in the open field when arms well skilled to guide the plough to drive the team to reap the grain or sow when forms warmed by hearts as bold with strength that scarcely in old age grew old were driven by dire necessity to swell the s ranks or bid their homes farewell to ask for unwillingly bestowed or gain instead those bitter that the generous bosom in its hour of need but for children wanting broad the sturdy would rather die than tax the parish for liis own supply the sons of the soil that winter was a dreary one to all dark were the days and sullen was the fall of silent snow upon the frozen earth and hushed was many a voice that spoke of mirth in days gone by when village burned bright and youths and maidens hailed the winter s night vith all its and its social cheer its gathering home of friends long tried and dear are they now the hamlet seems to sleep mid the white plain so and so deep that scarce the shepherd toils his way to the ground with welcome heaps of hay to guard the fence or trim the low or track the wandering sheep with tread nor looked the world less when there fell a rain when streams began to swell and heave their icy burdens to the brink and the deep to melt away and sink book xl and here and there along the fields were seen of earth and spots of mournful green it needs some thought to solace or to please the farmer when he looks on scenes like these some hope to lead him forth when falls the rain to turn the to guard his grain the to or the to cast by skill ingenious and by labour vast nor thinks the on his couch of rest what anxious fears the farmer s breast what shifting plans must his mind with every change that rules the restless wind yet neither comfort came with smile to william nor did hope be and while his brow was o er with care expression looked more like dot pair for he would sit his daily labour done through that long hour ere evening has l e the sons of the soil resting his elbow on the table near upon his hand his brow so pale and dear his thick hair with natural flow cast a deep shadow o er his cheek below and his dark that sometimes seemed to see nothing on earth but hopeless j on the fire their melancholy gaze and watched unmoved the flickering of the blaze nor turned away when others mood upon his silent musing would intrude nor yet awoke to answering smiles of love when the fair would his patience prove by questions idle and ill framed to please to soothe his grief or cure his mind s disease yet was it only at the darkening hour of winter s twilight that the secret power of speechless thought sat brooding o er his its energies with stern control book xi brisk morning drove him early to the field the fence to the sturdy axe to and when the frost had melted from the ground amongst the flocks and herds to trace his round to guide the plough along the plain or once more with skilful hand the grain and could this toil pursued could health or youth with impulse firm and good could manly will by noble purpose moved sufficient for their hour of need have proved the farmer and his son might ne er have known such gloomy shadows o er their future thrown but all too late their rt to redeem errors long past there was no human scheme power in industry or human thought to meet such evils as the past had wrought and hard it seems to battle with the rage of storm and st constant war to the sons of the soil with foes so pitiless as and hail when clouds are dark and northern winds prevail yet feel no cheering promise in the breast that here at last may weary age find rest twas long ere spring with clothed the plain that traced those paths again which led her where disease its kept where want complained or hopeless wept her sister generous still and true to those she loved in childhood ne er withdrew her heart s warm interest from the lowly few who used to claim her sympathy and care and now that richer her hand could spare was made her and bore and blessing to the poor sore was her trial when she talked with tho e to her father traced their wants and woe book xi who thought him pitiless and hard of heart with his old friends so willingly to part yet had she ever known from earliest youth the touching eloquence of simple truth and her mild speech and earnest looks could win entire belief when argument had been fruitless and vain as breath of idle wind to check the impulse of a wounded mind thus had she felt more earnestly the need of her mild influence when the tidings spread of discontent amongst the village poor driven as they called it from the farmer s door and thus she stayed not for the rains to cease the skies to clear or winds to hold their peace but like some gentle flower too frail to last that too soon its bosom to the blast she went regardless of herself and strove to for her father thoughts of love to prove him and to still the sigh and hush the of	41
despondency the sons of the soil nor was her task in s home where oft in childhood she was wont to come where the old father with pain of many a lighter grievance would complain but such complicated ills prevailed that scarce her soothing sympathy availed troubles he said are never sent alone and then he told his over one by one how in old age upon the parish cast his daughter at the very last when all things darkened round him and her care alone remained to make him not despair how she could leave him yes could choose to wed not to remain at home and shield his head but to go forth where wild atlantic waves tempt idle youths to seek graves was listening but her ear had caught another well known sound and quick as thought book xi once the warm would have stained her cheek but now no more its tell tale speak calm pale and almost as cold as marble she could now behold the moving form and hear the living voice of him whose love would once have been her choice above all treasures and above all bliss of all that earth could yield her soul had asked but this she had so loved him not a thought had been in her pure mind that he might not have seen nor vague desire might ever there intrude nor wish that sought not to promote his good nor could imagination wake one hope but he was still its centre and its scope she had so loved him with such trust looking to for what was great and just the of the sou generous and noble and approved of heaven that scarce a more enduring faith was given to her meek prayers than to her earthly love bearing her up life s troubled waves above and thus it was that when this sacred chain was broken nothing could unite again its severed links that nothing could impart the slightest value to one separate part it was the of the perfect whole that gave it strength and beauty to her soul that strength had failed her it was well for from that hour she bade this world farewell yet seemed it only fading from her view to leave the colouring of the next more true and while she dwelt on earth twas but as one whose task of earthly toil is nearly done thus was her spirit seldom moved to and her eyes wept not have been to natural feeling but that was sealed by silent suffering to no ear revealed book xi twas strange that now could calmly hear the voice that once had been too kind and dear and raise her eyes to that face nor linger lines of beauty there to trace yet such things have been and she was not one to shrink from tasks of duty when begun she felt like some lone pilgrim and her day of weariness was wearing fast away then what to her were shadows o er her path clouds in the sky or in the tempest a few brief months it mi ht be and she no more would tread the ways tliat o er this world s vast wilderness extend happy for her that journey soon would end twas in such confidence that heard that well n voice yes tone and word but joined not in familiar converse there apart she she did not choose to share the sons of the soil social communion or exchange of thought with one whose hand by money might be bought yet had she said good night and left that scene perchance his care had been extended to her solitary walk so she remained to hear the poor man talk of all his sorrows while the told of consolation but with look so cold and tone so regulated smooth and mild as never yet the heart at length he rose and breathed again he was gone with less oppressive pain and hastened forth to meet the chilly blast deepening shadows o er her path were cast it was a cold march evening and there blew a piercing gale and shivering drew book xi her cloak around her frail and slender form that bent beneath the anger of the storm yet had there been some hopeful sign of spring in birds that fluttered on the joyous wing and firmer felt the ground beneath the tread and the pale reared its drooping head while daylight lingered in the west and woke the from his rest and as she closed her father s gate heard the old that in the elm tree soothe his companions with a solemn bidding them fear not he no danger saw such were the of returning spring to and youth sweet promise did they bring but from that cold and cheerless day looked not the same she seemed to fade away and though bright spring with gladness came at last she no more her spring of life was past the sons of the soil she heard the birds sing gaily o er her head but her pale cheek was on her bed they brought her flowers wild flowers that once she loved when through the fields her wandering footsteps she thanked her friends and called them kind and good yet smiled for joy far less than gratitude for while she prayed to wait more patiently her yearning heart was to be free we wish for those we love to stay and meet the conflict of another day when wings of faith are theirs to bear their flight up to the of everlasting light yet nature when merciless decay o er the loved one while the world looks gay when skies are bright and western blow soft and breath of opening blossoms wail book xi s and sparkling streams flow with a silvery sound the of the	41
earth around when all is fair and ufe so full of joy we scarce believe that will e er destroy hard is it then to watch the loveliest brow round which the sunny used to flow darkening with death the feet whose joyous speed trod the green lawn and flower tracing their lonely pathway to the grave no power to stay their course no help to save hard is it then when beauty the sky and things that mount the air and fly on happy ing are out their bliss hard b it then amid such joy as this to see our loved one hastening to the tomb to watch the cherished of our social home from the fresh fields the garden and the bower passing away like some flower and not a fading from above nor scented blossom withering in the grove m i i the sons of the soil nor silvery lingering on its way nor pausing in its play nor soaring bird in all the sunny sky singing the less because that flower must die amid such scenes did lie so and breathless that the breeze passed the scented and brought no no power to heal her malady or calm her fluttering pulse which seemed to wear away all hope that life would linger out the day her father seated by her restless bed kind words of soothing sometimes said and when soft sunset through the shone he still was there and they were left alone father she said the day is nearly done i shall not live to see to morrow s sun book xi let me be laid beside my mother s grave where the green elms their evening shadows wave then did she stretch her thin white hand to his and drew him near to meet her gentle kiss and held his forehead to her feverish cheek as if some other words she yet must speak father she said once more i would not wake pain in your bosom yet i may not take this burden on my conscience to the grave love is not only given to bless but save and i if i had truly loved your soul had sought to win it from the world s control yet hear me now the last time i shall speak the last time i shall kiss a s cheek hear me and question not my words are true and well i know they must be short and few this worlds dear father is no place of rest lean not nor hope for on its breast the sons of the soil nor yield to hopeless sorrow or despair if seeming good should sometimes prove a think of my mother in her heavenly home and one the child of earth oh come and join us there and let us meet at last happy and safe when life s dark waves are passed t she ceased and o er her lip and cheek and brow a burning tide of crimson seemed to flow it passed away and the cold of death came in its stead and sunk her fluttering breath and so she faded from the joyous earth a vacant place was at her s hearth and where the elms their evening shadows wave she slept in peace beside her mother s grave book xii since tlie sad hour of parting with his child seldom the sorrow stricken father smiled yet was not sadness all the shade tliat across his manly brow a graver hue the sons of the soil something there was more deep but more resigned than grief that pains and the mind a calm to all his feelings given a firmer confidence and faith in heaven he was an altered man but less in word than thought for rarely was he heard to tell of changes wrought upon his heart enough for him to choose that better part enough for him to seek that service sweet blessed by the when with feet he came and trod the ways of earth enough for him at last to feel the worth of heavenly things the rest might pass away his strength was now sufficient for the day and troubles once so grievous to endure now him not his peace was too secure and sorely needed was this heavenly with all it of healing and of book for thickly came the trials of each hour while o er his earthly course dark shadows seemed to lower yet did not all a few there were who cast away the burden of their care when summer smiled and purple meadows threw over the sunny slope a richer hue and spread the cheering influence far and wide like the soft swell of some long wished for tide for smiling nature like a welcome guest joy many a drooping breast and hope revived when harvest once again waved her wide banner o er the golden plain and now the hasten to the field stoop to their toil or resolutely the sweeping c and with a rushing sound thick waves of yellow grain fall to the ground r i f if ti if i w and or t r the c al cf war but i all of a r to social board the to die die from die tar of s to taste of and feel r cap nm o er was the scene which met the s gaze and to remembrance brought his early days such was the scene and he could feel again the joy of harvest while the peopled plain rang with the shouts and echoed with the glee the genuine burst of nature s book xii such was the scene bright mornings glided on and through sailed the sun but ere the fulness of his heat there fell at times a light and wet that hung in drops on leaf and	41
spray and scarce was gone before the noon of day there was no wind not even a breath to blow and shake the moisture from the bending bough and time passed on and still the white mists fell and deeper lay on shady bank and till scarce the in their midday blaze from their far height could glimmer through the haze while watched and waited still to see the vanish from the hill or nearer outline of the leafy wood or even the trees that in the hedge row stood or passing traveller or horse that trod with sounding on the road the sons of the soil yet vain their wish for nature seemed to sleep her misty curtain drawn so soft and deep and all grew still around above beneath silent and as the realm of death oh blessed breeze when wilt thou rise again come back and sweep this ruin from the plain wake howling come blast and roar and let us hear the stir of life once more such was the prayer that dwelt on henry s tongue impatient of delay and bold and young he would have dared the tempest in its wrath and watched the lightning shoot across his path rather than this slow fate this silent doom closing around him like the tomb the iron grave that every night and yet so slowly as to mock the sight book xii yet neither prayer impatient could prevail nor louder murmuring wake the silent gale and o er the steaming earth it soon was found fresh grain was on the ground and from the young shoots of green springing to life in rapid growth were seen it is enough t the farmer sighed i have borne much and have been sorely tried but now i know and what is more i feel i have no power to judge of human or what is ultimately best for man enough that this is heavenly wisdom s plan and meekly did he watch the ruin spread nor word of question or complaint he said while others sank beneath the general gloom his smile was brightest while they paced the room m the sons of the soil with restless step and brow of anxious care he kindly soothed and bade them not despair though his the trial his the real loss it seemed as if he scarcely felt the cross so sure he was that heaven in mercy sent this stroke and would if needed still yet was the sorrow great the ruin wide broad fields of wasted grain on every side lay in the s weary sight till when the morning dawned he wished for when darkness o er the world her curtain drew and hid the desolation from his view it was a year of suffering to the poor and loud their cries assailed the s door for cheaper bread while tumult raged and rival parties fiery warfare book britain was then no home of rest to those who sought a shelter for their secret woes and where her laden ships at anchor rode hundreds embarked to seek that rest abroad nor refused their aid and people who had failed in trade farmers and men wives children too in crowded sighed their last adieu to english comfort never found again by those who sought their homes beyond the main what means the change in william s home whence all the bustling that crowding come and force their presence into every spot where fancy leads them whether asked or first in the house attraction seems to bring the talking wondering yet scarcely wondering either for they shake the head and sage conjectures make i of the soil my years ago it di of all sa c b of expense to a ami of tha talk the s the table its leaves long and the to their cost is other eyes those objects if he st s to doubt he sees the and calls him out and soon the goods for use too dear are made his own and in his home appear one day was spent in every room all things to the general doom rich beds and costly curtains hung with taste were soon torn down and then as quickly cast book xii into their own while the crowd pressed closely in and bestowed loud censure or loud praise on every hand but most on things did not understand while some long with peculiar care weighed in the balance were found wanting there it was a sickening sight to one whose eye gazed o er the golden fields of memory and felt these trifles by the crowd despised linked with her treasures all too dearly yet william stood amid the throng and talked with some but seemed not to belong to any on his brow there was a look which curious trifling never yet could brook and many a tongue as he drew near that day was hushed and many an turned am ay the of the soil one day passed over and the second came and still tbe stir and tumult were the same but now tbe stables and tbe cattle attract attention and invite regard and knowing judges in tbat glorious field their rival powers of eloquence may some stroke tbe graceful neck of bred or try the chaise horse at his utmost speed li others feel the backs of or praise tbe slender neck and shoulder deep next to the fold repair the busy throng by the meek tell her pronounce upon the cow sentence sage and slow nor know nor ask what feels the farmer then while pass from stall to shed these learned men hard had it been for such to know the mood of william as he silent stood book xii gazing no busy questioned why but gazing still when all had	41
saw the spire and heard again its bells that struck upon his ear like loved in and still dear it was the sunset hour and threw o er every western slope a golden hue village slowly home sought their own cottage ere the twilight gloom and ere that hour had found one lowly spot of consecrated ground to him most sacred where a peaceful mound more newly made beside a grave taught him how vain was human help to save to these he came with tread how did he long to bear away his dead book xii to that far home his weary age was seeking longer to keep the bond that fast was breaking here then he leaned upon his staff and stood till the grey mist obscured the distant wood and wished to go but could not break away from those low graves beside his path that lay the sun went down that night in cold grey clouds and widely spread the gloom that often welcome form and her cheerful smile hiding her beauty from our sea isle bleak was the gale when morning woke again from the north east and o er the grassy plain and growth of early plants a was blown nature wore an aspect and brown but neither northern blast nor nor cold could stay the lapse of tide and time nor hold the sons op the soil back from the sinking heart its dreary doom the hour approached and deeper grew the gloom nor came from far or near that welcome sound that hope amid despair profound some tidings strange that will not let us go though all things tend to one sad point of woe some spell around our parting footsteps cast some voice to bid us stay even at the last is it that from the fairy tales of youth we learn this lesson rather than from truth or that the human heart would surely break did no such false promise speak yet so it is and watched the hour come hastening on and still believed some power in heaven or earth would keep her from the sea dreary waters heaved so gloomily poor child there might be weakness in her fear yet of all e er practised here book xii tis not the least to drag from social ease from warm security and pride and peace across the main such feeble things as these and hope to see them bear their share of toil when planted in a strange soil and henry saw the injustice felt the wrong what could he more his arm was firm and strong he would defend her from all touch of harm and she must learn to meet the wind and storm with other thoughts he had enough to bear it was his chosen duty to prepare ah needful things a task that suited best the ardent impulse of his manly breast nor his alone the many more were gathering there to leave their native shore but they were poor and hardy trained to toil and ignorant too how many a mile would stretch between them and their native isle n the sons of the soil these are the men whose interest bids them go bids them escape from and woe they heed not labour their arms pine for the exercise that cheers and they ask but food food of the simplest kind and natural rights to keep the upright mind from fear firom base art and doubts that the heart these are the men who should be free to eat the bread of peace by industry made sweet and when their country sends them o er the main hers is the loss but theirs the greater gain the hour approached and busy hands were there and all had much to do and much to bear the weak to comfort and the old to leave yet scarce a moment to look back or grieve book fair rosy girls the wives of yesterday gathered and their little wealth away in that small cabin where the matron with her poor all ignorant of their fate and still the aged parent came to see with tears renewed that scene of misery and friends in to make confusion worse and more confounded till with accents hoarse the impatient captain bade them all depart no time had he for sorrows of the heart the hour approached and s faith grew faint and faint alike her accents of her lip was pale and quivering and her hand relaxed its hold when henry s firm command bade her prepare for he had tried all power of kindness to console her till that hour the sons of the soil and now while fled the life blood from her cheek and sank her voice as if no more to speak he pressed one kiss of pity on her lip and bore her senseless to the heaving ship placed her upon a couch with care and called on to attend her there worse yet remained for stronger hearts had now to meet the trial and to bear the blow all had been calm until the parting scene and great the strife to bear that hour had been but lovely cheeks had lost their rosy bloom and restless feet paced through the silent room on fancied errand though all things were done by s watchful care long since begun it was in vain to linger time stayed not and would have told the hour had they forgot book xii but every moment seemed their last on earth counted and valued now by worth a sad procession through the streets they passed no wandering look on either side was east and henry waited in the tossing boat while the rude sailor strained his throat with shouts that vainly bade them hasten on to leave the shore before the tide was gone well was it then that gazing crowds stood by	41
to recommend a few inquiries to those who have not yet passed the and with whom therefore it may not be too late to if they should find they have not correctly calculated the consequences of the step they are about to take or what is still more probable if they have not coolly and estimated their own for rendering it one of prudence and safety both to themselves and others on the other hand the inquiries i would propose are such as where the mind and character are prepared for this important change will tend to confirm the best resolutions while they will assist in every latent evil might otherwise lie in wait to rise up after the season of deliberation is past like clouds in the horizon which gradually spread their gloom across the sky and finally obscure the sunshine of every future day the great object to be aimed at by all women about to enter upon the married state is to examine calmly and the of this state to put away all personal feeling and to be not only willing but determined to look the subject fairly in the face and to see its practical bearing upon the interest and the happiness of those with whom they may be associated perhaps there never yet was a woman of warm feelings or man either who had not in early life some vision of felicity which after experience and knowledge of the world have failed to stamp with the impress of reality some believing themselves capable of their share to this measure of earthly happiness and disappointed in not finding an equal companion have wisely declined entering upon the married state altogether while others more confident of success have made the experiment for themselves believing that though all the world may have failed in their dreams of bliss they and theirs will be fortunate enough to exhibit to the wonder of mankind an instance of perfect happiness it is needless to decide which of these two parties deserve the highest of for their prudence and common sense but it is equally needless to belong to either class of individuals what the young shall we not even hope to be happy yes let us hope as long as we can but let it be in to reason and to truth let us hope only to be happy ourselves so long as we make others happy too and let us expect no measure of felicity beyond what this world has afforded to those who were wiser and better than we are but why then the same all the fine talk we hear about the wives op england l marriage and why in all the stories we read is marriage made the end of woman s existence ah i there lies the evil marriage like death is too often looked upon as the end whereas both are but the beginning of states of existence infinitely more important than that by which they were preceded yet each taking from that their tone and character and each in their enjoyment to the previous preparation which has been made for their happiness or misery the education of young ladies is too frequently such as to lead them naturally to suppose that all the training and all the discipline they undergo has reference only to this end the first evidence that marriage is thus regarded by many young women is seen in a rebellion against the of home and the of parental authority accompanied by a threat not always distinctly uttered that the first opportunity of escaping from domestic shall not be neglected this species of rebellion against authority is much cherished by school companions and sisters while the gossip of servants to whom the indignant sometimes appeal and the general tenor of what is called light reading tend to keep up the same kind of spirited determination to rush upon the of marriage in the hope of escaping from the of home a polite and flattering lover next presents himself the persecuted or neglected finds at last that her merits are appreciated and while the gates of an imaginary are still open she enters eagerly among its fruits and flowers never stopping to inquire if the trail of the serpent is over them still such is the natural history of one half at least of those early marriages which fix the doom of women for this world and sometimes for the next what wonder then that a sincere and earnest friend and an affectionate well of her sex should deem it necessary even on the near approach of that day which is generally spoken of as making two human beings happy to request the weaker and consequently the more easily party to pause and think again although i am one of the last persons who could wish to introduce in any plausible form to an upright and honorable mind the bare idea of the possibility of breaking an engagement yet as there are cases in which an engagement of marriage if literally kept must necessarily be in spirit i cannot help thinking that of two evils it is in this case especially desirable to choose the least and to prefer a temporary pain and enduring an inevitable disgrace to being the means of destroying the happiness of a lifetime with the self imposed accompaniment of endless remorse in the first place then i would ask are you about to bring to the altar and to offer in the sight of god a faithful and devoted heart to answer with a mere expression of belief is not sufficient here there must be certainty on this point if not on any other there are many by which this important fact may be ascertained and of these i shall a few the first is whom are you loving the man who stands before you with all his u on his head his faults of	41
this duty is it is not merely to him a hired could do that the duty of a wife is what no woman ever yet was able to render without affection and it is therefore the height of presumption to think that you can coldly fulfil a duty the very spirit of which is that of love itself it is possible however that you may still be mistaken it is possible that the gradual opening of your eyes from the visions of girlish romance which are apt to before the imaginative and inexperienced may have given you a both for your companion and your future lot if this be the case the difficulty will be easily overcome by the exercise of a little good feeling and common sense but in order to prove that this is really all put this question to if you were quite sure there was some other woman as amiable or more so than you with whom your friend could be equally happy would you feel pleasure in his her acquaintance instead of yours if you can answer this question in the negative you may yet be safe if not the case is too decided to admit of a moment s hesitation your own integrity and a sense of justice towards your friend equally dictate the propriety of making him acquainted with the painful the humiliating fact that you do not love him and no man after being convinced of this could desire the fulfilment of a mere engagement i am aware that the opinion of the world and the general voice of society are against such conduct even where love is wanting and i am equally aware that no woman ought to venture upon breaking an engagement on such grounds without feeling herself to the very dust but i am not the less convinced that it is the only safe the only just line of conduct which remains to her who finds herself thus and that it is in reality more generous to her lover than if she kept the word of promise to his ear and broke it to his hope but there may be other causes besides this why an engagement should not be fulfilled there may be a want of love on the part of your friend or there may be instances of too glaring to be overlooked and here let it be observed that woman s love may grow after man s never if therefore he is indifferent or as a lover what must be expected of him as a husband it is one of the greatest misfortunes to which women are liable that they cannot with female delicacy cultivate before an engagement is made an acquaintance sufficiently intimate to lead to the discovery of certain facts which would at once decide the point whether it was prudent to proceed further towards taking that step which is universally acknowledged to be the most important in a woman s life one of these facts which can only be ascertained on a close acquaintance is the tendency there is in some individuals to and keep others at a distance now if on the near approach of marriage a woman finds this tendency in the companion she has chosen if she cannot open to him her whole heart or if he does not open his heart to her but a distant kind of manner which her out from sympathy and equality with himself it is time for her to pause and think seriously before she herself for life to that worst of all slavery the fear of a husband i have no scruple in using this expression because where the connection is so intimate and the sphere of action necessarily so confined if fear the place of confidence and love it must naturally a disposition to deceive either by falsehood or wherever blame would attach to a full disclosure of the truth j thoughts before marriage i have already said that it is a prudent plan for the woman who to marry to try the merits of her lover or rather her own estimate of them by allowing him an opportunity of with her friends such measures however are not easily carried out except at some sacrifice of delicate and generous feeling and generally speaking the less a woman allows her name to be associated with that of her husband before marriage the better it is sometimes argued that an engagement entered into with right feelings is of so binding and sacred a nature that persons thus related to each other may be seen together both in public and private almost as if they were really married and to such it may appear a cold kind of caution still to say beware yet such is the uncertain nature of all human affairs that we need not look far for instances of the most improbable changes taking place after all possibility of change had been banished from our thoughts within a month a week nay even a day of marriage there have been discoveries made which have fully justified an entire of the parties thus associated and then how much better has it been where their names had not been previously united and where their appearance together had not impressed the idea of connection upon the minds of others one of the most and at the same time one of the most melancholy causes for such is the discovery of symptoms of insanity even a highly excited and disordered state of the nervous system will operate with a prudent woman against an alliance of this nature yet here again it is particularly unfortunate that in cases of nervous the discovery is seldom fully made except in the progress of that close intimacy which immediately marriage and which consequently the character of an engagement symptoms of this nature however when exhibited in the conduct of a man are of the most serious and alarming character a	41
woman laboring under such in their form may be so influenced by authority as to be kept from doing any very extensive harm but when a man with the reins of government in his hand loses the power to guide them when his mind becomes the victim of morbid feeling and his energies sink under imaginary burdens there is no calculating the extent of calamity which may result to the woman who would be rash enough to link her destiny with his another reason for setting aside an engagement of marriage or the fulfilment of it is a failure of health especially when either this or the kind of malady already noticed an for business and for the duties which generally upon the master of a household it is true that in cases where the individual thus afflicted does not himself see the propriety of withdrawing from the engagement the hard and apparently selfish part a woman has to act on these occasions is such as in addition to her own sufferings will probably bring upon her the blame of many who do not and who cannot understand the case and the more delicate her feelings are towards the friend she is thus compelled to treat with apparent the less likely she will be to herself by an exposure to the world of his or his weakness thus as in many of the acts of woman s life she has to be the sufferer every way but still that suffering is less to every one concerned than if she plunged herself into all the lamentable consequences of a union with a man who wanted either the mental or the physical capacity to keep her and hers from poverty and distress in the former case she will have the of prudence and of conscience in her favor in both the world will be lavish of its blame but in the latter only could her portion be that of self condemnation added to misery after all these considerations have been duly weighed and every test of truth and constancy applied to your affection for the object of your choice there may yet remain considerations of infinite moment as they relate to your own fitness for entering upon the married state the wives of england in the first place what is it you are expecting to be always flattered depend upon it if your faults were never brought to light before they will be so now are you expecting to be always indulged depend upon it if your temper was never tried before it will be so now are you expecting to be always admired depend upon it if you were never humble and insignificant before you will have to be so now yes you had better make up your mind at once to be uninteresting as long as you live to all except the companion of your home and well will it be for you if you can always be interesting to him you had better settle it in your calculations that you will have to be crossed oftener than the day and the part of wisdom will dictate that if you persist in your determination to be married you shall not only be satisfied but cheerful to have these things so one important truth sufficiently impressed upon your mind will materially assist in this desirable it is the superiority of your husband simply as a man it is quite possible you may have more talent with higher and you may also have been generally more admired but this has nothing whatever to do with your position as a woman which is and must be inferior to his as a man for want of a satisfactory settlement of this point before marriage how many and have ensued filling as with the elements of discord and strife that world of existence which ought to be a smiling of perpetual flowers not of flowers which never fade but of flowers which if they must die neither nor from the in their own or the worm which lies at their own roots it is a favorite argument with youth that all things will come right in the end where there is a of love but is it enough for the of a woman s will that she should love her husband alas observation and experience alike convince us that love has been well represented as a boy and the alternate of contradiction and fondness which are dictated by affection alone though interesting enough before the knot is tied are certainly not those features in the aspect of his domestic whose combination a prudent man would most desire it is to sound judgment then and right principle that we must look with the blessing of the of these good gifts for ability to make a husband happy sound judgment to discern what is the place designed for him and for us in the arrangements of an all wise providence and right principle to bring down every selfish desire and every rebellious thought to a due in the general estimate we form of individual duty but supposing this point satisfactorily settled and an earnest and determination entered into to be but a secondary being in the great business of conducting the general affairs of social life there are a few things yet to be thought off a few duties yet to be discharged before the final step can properly be taken in the warmth and enthusiasm of youthful feeling few women look much beyond themselves in the calculations they make upon their married future to be loved and cherished is all they appear to for forgetting the many wants and wishes that will necessarily arise out of the connection they are about to form it may not be out of place then to remind them how essential it is to comfort in the married state that there should have been beforehand a	41
clear understanding and a strict agreement with regard both to the general style of living and the and associations to be afterwards maintained all secret wishes and intentions on these subjects concealed by one party from the fear of their being to the other are ominous of future disaster and indeed i would almost venture so far as to advise that unless such can be satisfactorily adjusted the parties had better make up their minds to separate for these causes of difference will be of such frequent occurrence as to leave little prospect of domestic peace thoughts before marriage however the companion of your future home should not be disposed to on these points you will probably have opportunities of judging for yourself and such means of forming your conclusions ought on no account to be neglected you will probably for instance have of whether he is one of those who place their chief happiness in what is called good living or in other words in the pleasures of the table and if in his estimation wine forms a prominent part of these let not the fear of the world s censure operate for one moment against your separating yourself from such a man if this should seem a harsh and hasty conclusion remember that the evils of a gross and habit are such as generally increase with the advance of years and as the natural spirits fail and health becomes are liable to give rise to the most fatal both of mind and body if then there is danger and disgust to apprehend on the side of indulgence it is on the other hand a hard and duty for the wife to be perpetually the appetite of her husband and preaching up the advantages of to the man she loves nor is it improbable or of rare occurrence that under such circumstances she should actually lose his affection for men like not the constant of restraint upon their wishes and so much happier so much more privileged is the situation of her who can safely minister to the desires of her husband that i would recommend to every woman to choose the man who can with propriety be indulged rather than him whose habits of already require restraint as the time of your marriage draws near you will naturally be led with ease and pleasure into that kind of unlimited confidence with the companion of your future lot which forms in reality the great charm of married life but even here a caution is required for though all the future as connected with your own experience must belong to him all the past must belong to others never therefore make it the subject of your confidential intercourse to relate the history of your former love affairs if you have had any it is bad taste to allude to them at all but especially so under such circumstances and although such details might serve to amuse for the moment they would in all probability be remembered against you at some future time when each day will be sufficiently darkened by its own passing clouds with regard to all your other love affairs then let by be by it could do no good whatever for you to remember them and the more you are from every other being of his own sex the more will the mind of your husband dwell upon you with satisfaction on the other hand let no ill advised curiosity induce you to too narrowly into his past life as regards affairs of this nature however close your inquiries they may still be baffled by and if it be an important point with you as many women profess to make it to occupy an page in the affections of your husband it is wiser and safer to take for granted this flattering fact than to ask whether any other name has been written on that page before in this case as well as your own both honor and delicacy would suggest the propriety of drawing a veil over the past it is sufficient for the happiness of married life that you share together the present and the future with such a field for the of mutual thought there can surely be no want of interest in your conversation for the arrangements to be made are so new to both and consequently so with importance that parties thus are good company only to each other amongst these arrangements if the choice of a residence be permitted you and especially if your own temper is not good or your manners not avoid as far as you can do so with prudence and without your husband s wishes any very close contact with his nearest relatives there are not wanting numerous instances in which the greatest intimacy and most fa j the wives op england associations of this kind have been kept up with mutual benefit and satisfaction but generally speaking it is a risk and you may not yourself be sufficiently amiable to bear with a meek and quiet spirit the general and well meant interference which mothers and sisters naturally expect to maintain in the household of a son and a brother these considerations however must of course give way to the wishes of the husband and his family as it is of the utmost importance not to offend his relatives in the outset by any appearance of contradiction or self will and besides which he and his friends will be better judges than you can be of the general reasons for fixing your future residence and now as the time draws near are you quite sure that your means are sufficient to enable you to begin the world with independence and respectability perhaps you are not a judge and if not you have no right to think of becoming a wife for young men in general have opportunity of making themselves acquainted with household economy and	41
who then is to make those innumerable calculations which will depend not only the right government of your establishment but also your peace of mind your integrity of character and your influence for time and for eternity oh what a happy day would that be for britain whose morning should smile upon the making of a law for allowing no woman to marry until she had become an thoroughly acquainted with the necessary expenses of a respectable mode of living and able to calculate the of comfort in connection with all the probable of actual life if such a law should be so cruel as to for a year or more every approach to the altar it would at least be equally effectual in that bitter repentance with which so many look back to the hurried and thoughtless manner in which they rushed upon an fate and only opened their eyes to behold their madness and folly when it was too late to the fatal consequences as a proof how little young men in general are acquainted with these matters i have heard many who fully calculated upon living in a genteel and comfortable style declare that a hundred pounds was sufficient for the furnishing of a house thus a hundred pounds on one side either saved borrowed or begged and fifty on the other are not deemed an ample provision with a salary of two hundred to begin the world with it is true the young man finds that salary barely sufficient for himself but then he hears and reads how much is saved under good female management and he doubts not but his will be more than made up by his wife it is true the young lady with her ill health and music lessons and change of air costs her father at least fifty pounds per but she does not see how she shall cost her husband any thing at all sweet soul she needs so little and really would be content with any thing in the world so that she might but live with him nay she who has never learned to wait upon herself would almost do without a servant so self denying so devoted is her love thus the two hopeful parties reason and should a parent or a friend advise delay the simple fact of their having been engaged having expected to be married and having made up their minds appear to furnish sufficient arguments why they should proceed in their career of and of folly parents who are kindly disposed will hardly see their children rush upon absolute want at the commencement of their married life the mother therefore the father and by some of his own or by from a friend he is enabled to spare a little more than was at first promised though only as a loan and how is this small additional sum too frequently appropriated to the purchase of luxuries which the parents of the newly married pair waited ten or twenty years before they thought of indulging themselves with and those who have tried every expedient and drained every creditable source to gratify the wishes of their children have to contemplate the heart sickening spectacle of beholding them begin the world in a style superior to that which their own industry and exertion in through half a lifetime has alone enabled them to attain now though the delicate young lady may think she has little to do with these things the honest hearted especially the practical christian will find that it belongs peculiarly to her province to see that just and right principles are made the foundation of her character as the mistress of a house and in order to carry out these principles so as to make them effectual in their operation upon her fellow beings and acceptable in the sight of god she must begin in time and while the choice remains to her to practise self denial even in that act which is most intimately connected with her present and future happiness if the attention to economy and the right feeling with regard to integrity which i have so earnestly recommended in the u women and the u daughters of england have been studied in early youth she will need no caution on the subject of her marriage until prudence shall point out the proper time for her settlement in life she will know a deeper kind of love than that which would plunge the object of it in difficulties for her sake and though he may be inexperienced and she will feel it a sacred trust to have committed to her the care of his character and circumstances in these important and momentous concerns serious and right views on subjects of this nature are so intimately connected with the reality of the christian character that it is difficult to imagine how a high profession of religion can exist in connection with the kind of wilful and selfish above described one thing however is certain that let a woman s religious profession be what it may if she be rash and on the subject of marriage consulting only her own gratification and mere fondness for deep and enduring affection she has need to go back to the school of mental discipline in which she is yet but a and instead of taking upon herself the honorable title of wife to set in humility and in the lowest seat seeking those essential of mind and of heart without which the blessing of her heavenly father must be expected in vain above all other considerations men as the day draws near this thought will suggest itself to the serious and enlightened mind what am i seeking in the great change i am about to make am i seeking an escape from duty to enjoyment from restraint to indulgence from wholesome discipline to perfect ease let us hope that these questions may be answered satisfactorily	41
and that the young woman now about to take upon herself the charge of new duties has thoroughly weighed the responsibility these duties will bring along with them and that in an humble and spirit she is inquiring in what way she may conduct herself so that all the members of her household shall be united as a christian family and encouraging each other in the service of the lord in so important an undertaking it cannot be deemed to determine with the divine blessing to begin with a high standard of moral excellence whatever our standard is we never rise above it and so great are the usually made in a view of married life that one half at least of its trials temptations and to spiritual advancement are entirely overlooked besides which so much of the moral and religious character of a household depends upon the female who its domestic that the woman who should rush into this situation expecting to find it easier to act than she had ever done before would most likely be punished for her presumption by discovering when it was too late that instead of religious helps on every hand she was in reality plunged into new difficulties and placed in the midst of to her spiritual improvement j n the wives op england greater and more appalling than it had ever entered into her imagination to conceive but still mere is no need to be cast down even while suffering under the natural consequences of this fearful mistake for he who has said commit thy way unto ike lord will assuredly be near in the time of trouble when the child of sorrow sincerely of her blindness and her folly shall meekly and fervently his promised aid she will then have learned to feel that let her confidence in the companion of her choice be what it may let him be to her as the father she has forsaken the brothers she has left and the friends whose sweet fellowship she will never more enjoy there will still be trials in her lot in which he cannot and depths in her soul which he cannot he may take her to his bosom as the shepherd takes the lamb but the green pastures and the refreshing dew will not be his to give he may guard her safety as the soldier guards the camp but her enemies may be too subtle for his eye and too powerful for his arm he may be to her as the morning to the opening flower but the sun which gives that morning all its light will be high in the heavens and if he shines not there will be no real brightness in her day and all this may still be felt without a shadow being cast upon her earthly love indeed we never more or do greater injustice to the nature and attributes both of religion and of love than when we them together and expect from one what the other only can bestow if love sometimes us by rendering certain portions of the path of duty more in how many instances does it throw all its on the opposite side and in such cases how hard it is that religion should be charged with the sad consequences which are liable to follow i i speak not here of love as what it might be but as what it is i speak not of that holy and which a guardian angel might be supposed to feel for the welfare of the being whose earthly course it watched with care nor yet of that pure sentiment scarcely less earthly in its tendency the and subordinate attachment of a and soul i speak of love as a fitful and capricious passion asserting unreasonable mastery over the human mind all control mixing itself with all motives assuming all forms so as to work out its own purposes and never failing to promise an earthly paradise to its blind followers it is of such love i repeat that it must be kept apart from that great work which religion has to do alone because the of the spirit in its religious exercises can only be fully known and appreciated by him who was in all points tempted as we are and because these which cannot be uttered to any human ear are listened to by him who is touched with a feeling of our it is highly important therefore that the woman who to become a wife should not be leaning upon the frail reed of human love for her support indeed it is more than probable that her husband will himself require assistance and excellent as he may have hitherto appeared to herself and others it is equally probable that on a nearer inspection there will be found in his religious character defects and which will present obstacles in the way of her whose dependence has been solely upon him if however her dependence has been rightly placed upon a higher foundation than that of human excellence or human love these defects of character will neither hinder nor her to work out her own salvation with fear and trembling will be the great object of her life and while engaged with all her energies in this first duty she will be more occupied with anxiety to draw others along with her than with disappointment at their being less perfect than she had imagined as we must all die alone so must we live in our spiritual experience not even the tenderest heart and next our own knows half the reasons why we smile or sigh the first year op married life each in his hidden sphere of joy or wo our spirits dwell and range apart our eyes see all around in gloom or glow hues of their own fresh borrowed from the heart human sympathy may do much to comfort human advice to guide and human	41
example to encourage but whether married or single whether associated with others or separate and alone we must all bear our own burdens perform our own duties answer to our own reap our own rewards and receive our own sentence at the bar of eternal judgment if this be an awful and in some respects a gloomy thought in others it is most for we need in reality but one friend in our religious experience all others are liable to fail us in the hour of need and at best they can do little for us but with this friend on our side no one can hurt or hinder us under his protection whatever wounds we receive from any mortal foe immortal nature will remain this friend then is all sufficient and blessed be his holy name he ever to make or us chapter el the first year of married life one great fault which the writer of these pages has already presumed to find with female education as conducted in the present day is that it fails to prepare the character and to form the habits for those after duties which are as as if the whole training of youth had been strictly in accordance with the of middle life the tone of common conversation and the moral atmosphere of general society are strongly with the same fault a tendency to encourage thoughts and feelings wholly at with the line of conduct pointed out by religion and even by common sense as that which is most likely to be to ultimate happiness but in no other circumstance of life is this want of discipline at once so obvious and so lamentable as in the whole progress of that system of self recommendation which men call courtship and which unquestionably deserves that name if to win the partial favor of an inexperienced and perhaps a vain woman be the only object they have in view it is true that the man who wishes to gain the affections of a woman must first endeavor to render himself agreeable to her but all i would ask is that while to gain her love he should at the same time take some pains to make her worthy of his own by treating her at least with the and sincerity of a friend nor need he fear that he shall be a in the end by this mode of treatment for how much greater is the flattery of being loved in spite of our faults than of being supposed to have none if men would then in common honesty state what points they object to in the woman they admire and what they really do require in a wife they would not only find their influence during the season of courtship productive of the most consequences but they would themselves escape a world of disappointment afterwards while they would save the object of their affections all that astonishment and wounded feeling which naturally arise out of finding herself convicted of innumerable faults which were never so much as hinted at before instead of the candid and generous treatment here recommended how often is the progress of courtship no better than a system of and consequently of falsehood carried on exactly as if marriage was indeed the end instead of the beginning of their mutual existence and thus the affair goes on nay it becomes even worse until the near approach of that day which is to make them one for friends and relatives now take the same tone and the bride elect is set apart from all domestic discipline the of attentions the object of universal interest and the centre towards which all calculations and all expressions of kindness equally tend the wives of england persons sometimes appear least selfish when their self love is fully and freely gratified because they have then nothing left to require or to complain of thus the bride elect always appears amiable because everybody waits upon her everybody her and everybody the gratification of her wishes to the utmost of their power there is now no self denial no giving place to others no of the expected means of enjoyment or to sum up all in one word there is no neglect to try her selfishness or put her to the test how should she be otherwise than amiable in this manner time passes on self being made daily more and more the object of universal attention until at last the bride becomes personally almost an idol so lavish is the expenditure bestowed upon her now compared with what it has ever been before so attractive so becoming is every ornament she wears and so lively is the interest so profound the respect with which she is treated on that day which upon her departure from her parents home far be it from me to attempt to that day of its solemn and important character or to lower the tone of feeling with which it ought to be regarded but as a lover of truth and a somewhat observer of the days which follow i own i should like to see the preparation of a bride consist more of mental discipline than of personal more of the resources of a well stored understanding already thoroughly informed on the subjects of relative position and practical duty and with these the still higher ornament of a spirit already with a lively consciousness of the deep upon a married woman after such a preparation there would be no unwelcome truth to reveal no unexpected reproof to endure to fall short of the high standard of excellence in almost every act and not always to be graciously forgiven would be a matter of calculation which with true christian she would be prepared to meet while to set aside all selfish considerations and to look almost exclusively to the happiness of others for her own would already have become	41
so habitual as to require no new effort to carry out through the intercourse of daily life happy and wise as well as happy would that man be who should make himself content to wait for the dawning of his day until the woman of his choice should have been thus prepared but instead of this man eagerly his prize and like the training of a bird that discipline must all come afterwards which is to end in domestic harmony or domestic strife but let us turn the page and after home the happy couple from the wedding tour let us venture to whisper into the ear of the bride a few sage words from which whether properly prepared or not she may possibly from the simple fact of her be able to gather something for her future good if ever in the course of human life may be accounted a merit rather than a defect it is so in the conduct of a young and newly married woman while every circumstance around her is new and the voice of prudence caution before any important step is taken either with regard to the formation of or the general style and order of living a dependent and affectionate young woman attached to her husband will be to lean upon the kindness of his relatives and even to enter into the most intimate and familiar intercourse with them but even this amiable impulse should be checked by the remembrance that in all such it is much more difficult to than to advance and that when familiar intimacy is once established there is no such thing as drawing back without personal it will happen too unless the husband s relatives are something more than human that among themselves there will not be perfect of feeling they will probably be divided into little parties in which individuals on one side will look with partial or eyes upon the sayings and doings of those on the other such partial the first year op married life l views when they give a tone to general conversation are very and a sensitive mind much interested and keenly alive to impressions from such a quarter will be but too likely to become suddenly and powerfully by the same prejudices which the circle into which the youthful bride is introduced nothing however can be more than for her to take part in these family matters if possible she ought to wait and see for herself before her opinion is formed upon any of the subjects in question and this by great care may be done without any of that respectful behavior which she ought to lay down for herself as a rule in with her husband s relatives and from which she ought never to let her opinion of their merits and attractions be what it may it is sometimes supposed that the maintenance of personal dignity is with this exercise of respect towards others but on no subject do young people make greater mistakes than on that of dignity true dignity must always be founded upon a right understanding of our own position in society for the presumption which would assume what properly belongs to another and what in no way to the individual who makes this lamentable mistake is as far removed from dignity as from right feeling and common sense as a wife then a woman may be always dignified though simply as a woman she may at the same time be humble and as a christian as a wife as the chosen companion of an honorable and upright man it is her duty so to her whole conduct that she shall neither offend others nor bring offence upon herself and this is never more effectually done than by standing aloof from family and taking no part either in the or the prejudices of those with whom she is associated it is perfectly consistent with personal dignity that a wife should in all respects be the mistress of her own house if therefore the husband s relations have been accustomed to take part in his domestic concerns it is highly important that they should do so no longer correct minded persons will need no hint of this kind from the wife herself such persons will be sufficiently aware that the interior of her establishment must be kept sacred to her alone and that while the greatest freedom is maintained both in asking and in there must be no intrusion on their part into the mysteries of the kitchen the store room or the without an invitation from the mistress either expressed or implied should there be wanting in the husband s relatives this peculiar kind of delicacy of feeling it will be necessary to devise some plan calculated not to offend by which they may be made to understand that you do not wish them in your own house entirely to share all things in common for let the degree of kindness on both sides be what it may your education and theirs will in all probability have been so different that circumstances must necessarily arise calculated to draw forth remarks which cannot always be acceptable and it is therefore your wisest plan to draw the line of on the side of safety nor is it necessary that in thus asserting your rights suspicion should be awakened of any want of kindly feeling to all chance of this it would be wise to take advantage of the advice of your husband s relatives in all cases where they are willing to give and where you are prepared to adopt it and at the same time to be careful that an excess of kindness should accompany that defence of your own dignity which every woman has a right to make no room will then be left for complaint and you will enjoy the satisfaction of showing your husband how highly you esteem his relatives and how	41
much you are prepared to serve and to oblige them for his sake it is a painful fact and one of vulgar that all eyes are fixed upon a bride some to see how she is dressed others to observe how she and not a few to ascertain as far as they are able whether she the wives op england has come from a respectable home or in other words whether she has raised herself in worldly circumstances by the connection she has made this exercise of idle and impertinent curiosity might appear a little too contemptible to be met with any kind of consideration were it not the interest of a married woman to impress her new relations with an idea of her previous importance and her claims to respect even servants are much influenced by this impression and it was therefore a prudent plan adopted by our and still kept up in some parts of england for the bride to go well appointed to her husband s home well supplied with a store of good household linen and with abundance of such clothes as are not likely to become useless by being these things are accustomed to be discussed among servants and from one little circle of kitchen or gossip they extend to another and well if they do not find their way through the same channel to the parlor fireside well if the humiliating remark is never made there that the bride left every thing of importance to be purchased with her husband s money although it may seem rather an sort of warning thus to prepare the young bride for a kind of critical inspection scarcely consistent with kind and generous feeling it is nevertheless necessary in such a world as ours to calculate upon much which the external aspect of society would scarcely lead us to expect yet we must not for this reason forget the many instances in which the most sincere and cordial kindness is called forth on the part of the husband s relatives when they welcome to her new home one who is literally received into the bosom of their family and cherished as a lamb of their own fold in the majority of cases too it happens that the bride is no stranger that her family and her husband s have been in habits of intimacy and mat the admission of this new is but the of that intimacy into more enduring and affectionate union on both sides in both these cases the bride has much to console and to support her in the duties she has undertaken and a young heart can scarcely fail to feel impressed with gratitude for this voluntary offering of a new and lasting home with all its kindred associations of parents brothers sisters and friends on the one hand it is not only lawful but expedient to endeavor to maintain that dignity which properly belongs to a married woman on the other it is necessary to act with the most scrupulous regard to that minute and delicate line beyond which dignity into a mere assumption of importance it is unquestionably an honorable distinction to be the chosen companion of an enlightened and good man but we must not forget that nature never yet formed any woman too destitute of attractions or sent her forth into the world too endowed for her to be chosen as a wife the dignity derived from marriage can therefore only be a reflected one and has nothing whatever to do with the merits or the of the married woman i once heard a newly married lady complaining in company with great vehemence of something which had been said to her by a single sister and concluding many of her sentences with this remark all that miss b said was i dare say sensible enough but j you know am married as if that alone had been sufficient to give weight to the scale in which good sense and almost every other good quality appeared to be wanting in no part of the conduct of the bride will keen eyes be more than here the husband s relatives especially will be ready to detect the least assumption of superiority to themselves i therefore there has been any difference of rank or station in favor of the bride she will act most wisely as regards herself and most generously as regards her husband by keeping every sign or evidence of her having filled a more exalted station entirely out of sight all her too must share the the first year of married life same fate at least until her new relations shall have learned to love her well enough to them for her sake at first there will be no such charitable feeling extended towards those peculiarities of character with which they cannot perhaps because they cannot understand them she must now be judged of by a new rule of manner scarcely perceived at home or kindly borne with as a necessary part of individuality will now appear not only glaring but inconsistent and absurd faults of temper too long and perhaps too indulged will now be met with opposition and have the necessity of their existence called in question while all those little playful of local wit or humor which were wont to fill up the of social life may possibly be heard without a smile or wondered at as and in bad taste it is unquestionably the best policy then for a bride to be in all things the opposite of eccentric her character if she have any will develop itself in time and nothing can be gained though much may be lost by exhibiting its peculiarities before they are likely to be candidly judged or rightly understood in being quiet polite to all and willing to bend to circumstances consists the great virtue of a bride and though to sink even for a short time	41
into an apparent may be a little to one who has occupied a distinguished place amongst her former friends the prudent woman will be abundantly repaid by being thus enabled to make her own observations upon the society and the circumstances around her to see what pleasant paths she may with safety pursue or what opportunities are likely to open for a fuller development of her powers either natural or acquired with regard to the duties of charity and indeed of kindness in general the cordial reception a bride usually meets with the interest she has so recently excited and the favorable aspect worn by every thing around her naturally inspire in her mind so much that is agreeable in return and awaken on her part so many feelings of kindness and good will that she becomes more than usually anxious to manifest her benevolence even towards persons who under less favorable circumstances would have excited no interest whatever those who make it their business to check such feelings have a hard and ungrateful duty to perform and yet where the foundation of such acts of benevolence as are thus performed is feeling only the danger is that a system of behavior will be adopted which the emotions of after life will not be sufficiently powerful to maintain and the consequences of such falling off will necessarily be that the sorrowful or the will have to endure a degree of disappointment or neglect for which they were but little prepared there can be neither injustice nor in not listening in the first instance to claims which you are not able to satisfy but there is cruelty absolute cruelty in withdrawing your attention and interest from persons who have learned to look to you for sympathy and cordial feeling and in refusing your assistance to those who have learned to look to you for support as each person can only satisfy a certain number of claims it follows as a necessary consequence that by engaging at once in too many some or perhaps all must in the end be suffered to fall into neglect the first year of married life may justly be regarded as not likely to present one half of the claims upon individual or household charity which will follow in the second and the third would it not therefore be wise to lay by against a future day a little fund or store for this purpose and by always keeping something in hand to be appropriated to charitable uses alone there can be no surprise when the payment of a bill is due to find that part of the amount has already been given to relieve a family in distress and that the payment of the whole must therefore be deferred all such and short of funds as these cannot be too guarded against for not only is r the wives of england i their influence bad as they operate against the prompt discharge of pecuniary debts but their tendency is equally to be feared as they often the mind from its benevolent and kindly purposes by a frequent repetition of regret that sums have been expended in charity which ought to have been otherwise employed and here i would observe that the less we are induced by circumstances to grudge our past or regret our past kindness the better it is for our own hearts and for the general tone and temper of our minds indeed where acts of charity are performed with right motives not for the applause of men or even for the satisfaction of having done a good deed or brought about a good end but simply from a love to god and in obedience to his commands there can be no such thing as looking back with regret to the act itself whatever its consequences may be he who has commanded us to visit the and the widow in their affliction has not given us more than human penetration to judge of the exact amount of their necessities or their deserts therefore we have it has only been in the proportion or the application of our the act of giving remains as much a duty as ever and to her who has learned to look upon the good things of this life as only lent to her for a brief season of trial this sacred duty will be found connected with the highest of which in our present state of existence we are capable but in order to enjoy the luxury of giving with the greatest zest it is highly important that we attend to the strict rules of economy i have already written much and would that others would write more and better on this subject for until we can separate in the minds of young women their favorite idea of lavish expenditure from that of generosity there is little good to be expected from the wives of england and little happiness to be looked for in their far homes would that of every description then would give their attention to this subject in detail and lay it before the public in a manner that would render it intelligible to the female part of the community while communicated through them it would find its way to every house and every cottage in land not that economy which would lead to a useless up of money but to the glorious object of the greatest possible amount of good with the smallest means until this most refined and delicate art is made a part of female education we must look to that stern teacher experience to show us late in life what might have been accomplished by a combination of economy with kindness had we but begun the study of this delightful art in time we must look to the that have been absolutely wasted in almost every thing we have had to do for want of being acquainted with a better	41
mode of doing it and adding these together we must look to the helpless and the destitute and see what an amount of suffering might have been relieved by our economy if through a long lifetime we had turned every thing committed to our care or granted for our use to the best possible account but we must look beyond this yes we must look with blushing and confusion of face to that want of moral which rendered us worse than ignorant of the mischief we were doing to that and degrading that of all responsibility with which we conducted our domestic and personal affairs regardless of each item wasted until the whole became a mighty and fearful mass of evidence against us perpetually reminding us through the medium of our our scanty means and our apprehensions of the fearful reckoning of each coming day reminding us by these humiliating of what we have lost beyond all possibility of recovery i am not however one of those who would recommend the sacrifice either of comfort or respectability for the sake of economy a certain air of comfort a certain degree of respectability regulated by the sphere in which the parties move should never be lost sight of by the mistress of a house more especially there should be no meanness behind the scenes to support an display in public there is a moral degradation in such meanness wherever it exists and those persons who have habitually to hide themselves or to conceal their dinner table when a guest approaches must be living either above or below the line which strict integrity would point out to be observed they must either be making a figure at other times and in other places which they are not able to support or they must be dressing and living beneath that standard of respectability which properly belongs to their character and station in order to proportion all these matters fairly the bride must be content to wait until time and experience shall have brought to light her true position and her actual means the first year of married life will probably be less expensive than the second and the second less so than the third her household furniture and her own clothing being good and new there can be little wanted for and therefore in her domestic expenditure as well as in her this year will afford no true of the claims she must afterwards expect it is perhaps owing to this appearance in their domestic affairs that so many inexperienced persons are led on to purchase first one article of luxury or indulgence and then another even after their better judgment had dictated that such things should be done without and thus because they did not find housekeeping at first so expensive as they had anticipated they have launched out into extravagance which they have had bitterly to regret such persons are apt to say there can be no loss in furniture each article will always sell for its full can be no waste in silver because it is easily got rid of for the price of its own weight but what absurdity is this as if after having made a certain figure before the world and in society it was as easy to retreat and sink into a lower grade as it is to sell a sofa or a silver fork why this very act of assuming a certain position and this very dread of falling back is what the whole world is striving about at this very hour it is what so many heads are calculating upon what so many hands are working out and what so many hearts are beating for whether we look at the wear of mental and animal life in our great our ships upon the ocean our on the land our thousands pent up in heated rooms and our digging in the of the earth or whether we turn the page of man s history and looking at the inner movements of this great principle behold him in his moments of note down the fluttering of his ambitious hopes the agony of his suspense his disappointment or his triumph it is all the effect of one great cause and that the strongest and most universal which in highly civilized a desire to keep advancing in the scale of society and a dread of falling back from the position already held let us then at least talk common sense and in doing this i would advise the newly married woman to look at things in general as they really are not as they might be she will then see that nothing is more difficult to human nature than to come down even one step from any height it has attained whether imaginary or real if therefore the appearance a young couple make on their first outset in life be ever so little beyond their means so far from their being willing to reduce their appearance or style of living to a lower scale they will ever afterwards be perplexed by devices and harassed by to maintain in all respects the appearance they have so assumed this perpetual and of means to effect the end desired is of itself sufficient to poison the fountain of domestic at its source it is bad enough to have innumerable wants created in our own minds which our utmost efforts are unequal to satisfy but it is worse as many thousands can in addition to this for the husband and the wife to be perpetually at their own fireside about what expenses can be done without and what cannot yet all these consequences and worse and the wives op england more than tongue or pen can describe from the simple fact of having begun a new establishment on too expensive a scale it may seem like a fanciful indulgence of morbid feeling but i own my attention	41
has often been arrested in the streets of london by a spectacle which few ladies would stop to contemplate a s shop and i have imagined i could there trace the gradual fall from these high in the new hearth rug scarcely worn the gaudy carpet with its roses scarcely soiled the tea tray and worst of all the bride s white veil what a breaking up i have thought must there have been of some little establishment before the dust of a single had fallen on its hearth these articles perhaps disposed of to the expenses of illness or to satisfy the very of whom they were obtained on trust now though i imagine myself to be addressing a class of persons far removed from all of this kind yet to their higher respectability is their greater influence and just so far as that influence is on the side of prudence and economy will their example operate upon the classes beneath them it seems to be the nature of evil universally to itself by rendering one wrong action almost necessary to another thus no human being can say i will commit this particular sin and go no further most especially is this the case with every kind of deception just as one wilful from truth draws after it a long train of falsehood every from the line of integrity is followed by the same inevitable consequences and thus where persons have made up their minds to exhibit before the world a style of dress or a mode of living beyond what their circumstances are able to support an endless train of meanness and practical falsehood is almost sure to follow how much better is it then to begin the world with an honest heart and a clear conscience as regards these points of duty and neither to carry on behind the scenes a disgraceful system of from comfort what extravagance demands nor of exhibiting at first a transient display of luxury or pomp to be repented of for the remainder of life all this however requires some self denial much principle and much love it requires self denial because while almost all the world is at this rate to assume a and more simple mode of living necessarily brings with it a suspicion of being unable to live differently it requires principle because temptations present themselves on every hand to purchase what we wish for at less than its apparent value and it requires love because with true and deep affection the wife is so bound up in the interests of her husband that all things become light in comparison with his and eternal good love therefore is admirably calculated to lessen all arising from a conscientious to strict integrity on these points nothing shows more plainly the mistake under which people in general labor with regard to the degree of mental and moral requisite in a really good wife than the common expression used to describe a merely well disposed and ignorant female when it is said of her that she is a good sort of body and will make an excellent wife the of men and even some of the most intelligent amongst them appear peculiarly disposed to make the experiment of marrying such women as if the very fact of their deficiency in moral discipline and intellectual power was of itself a recommendation rather than otherwise in the mistress of a family and until women shall really find themselves neglected by the sex and actually consigned to oblivion because they are indolent selfish or silly it is to be feared that books may be multiplied on this subject and even sermons preached with little or no effect still there is surely something in the deep heart of woman capable of a nobler ambition than that of merely securing as a husband the man she most to make that a the first year of married life husband happy to raise his character to give dignity to his house and to train up his children in the path of wisdom these are the objects which a true wife will not rest satisfied without to attain and how is all this to be done without reflection system and self government simply to mean well may be the mere impulse of a child or an idiot but to know how to act well so as that each successive kind impulse shall be made to tell upon the welfare and the happiness of others is the highest lesson which the school of moral discipline can teach nor is it only by the exercise of a high order of talent that this branch of wisdom can be attained it is by using such talent as we have by beginning early to observe and to think to lay down rules for self discipline and to act upon them so that in after years they shall have become too familiar and habitual to require an effort to maintain thus it is unquestionably better that the great work of mental discipline should be commenced after marriage than not at all but the woman who this work until that time is not much wiser than the man who should have to to walk after he had engaged to run a race already even in the first year of married life all the previously formed habits a woman has indulged begin to tell upon a larger scale than they could have done in her single state the art of time may now be made to yield a mine of wealth beyond what riches alone could ever have be and of this most precious treasure neither change of fortune nor place nor circumstance will be able to deprive her if that cleverness which i have attempted to describe in a previous work has been acquired and practised in her early years it will now have become like a part of her nature an	41
additional faculty which is really nothing less than the power of turning every thing to the best account and this power she will now be able to exercise at will for the daughters of england the benefit of all with whom she is associated but of what use some may be inclined to ask is her learning and her knowledge now that the actual work of the hand has become a duty of such important consideration i answer that the early of learning and knowledge will be found of more than importance now because in the first place there will be no longer time for their acquisition and in the next they will be wanted every day if not in their direct in their relative exercise to raise the tone of social intercourse around the domestic hearth music painting and poetry taste tact and observation may all be made to the same desirable end for if by the marriage vow you hoped to unite yourself to an immortal and i cannot believe of my that more thoughts would be theirs at that solemn hour you must desire to sustain and cherish such a mind in all its highest aspirations and in all its noblest aims in fact i know not what love is if it seeks not the moral and intellectual perfection of its object if it is not willing in order to promote this glorious to watch all time and into all so that no opportunity may be lost and no means neglected of raising the tone of a husband s character to the highest scale which man is capable of it is true that to comfort and sustain the body is a duty which ought never to be neglected but the woman who can rest satisfied with this knows little of the holy and principal of real of that love which alone can justify any one in taking upon herself the sacred of a wife influenced by this love the woman of right feeling will perceive though but recently married that her position is one of relative importance that however insignificant each separate act of her life might have been when she dwelt alone or as an inferior member of a family she has now become the centre of a circle of influence which will and ex j l a u the wives of england tend itself to other circles until it with the great ocean of eternity thus it is not only what she says and does but also what she leaves and undone which will give a to so far as the influence of a wife extends for to have neglected acts of duty or opportunities of advice and encouragement is in reality to the risk of consequences as as those which follow having spoken or acted from improper motives it is a serious and alarming thought but one which ought to be ever present with the young wife that no servant can leave her establishment without being either better or worse for her experience there that no party can meet beneath her roof without receiving some good or evil bias from the general tone of her conversation and manners and above all that the rules she lays down for the of her household the principles of justice and integrity of benevolence order and christian charity which are there acted upon will themselves through the different members of her household and flowing thus through various channels will become the foundation of peace and comfort in other families they in their turn the same principles to the end of time what a sublime what an thought may it fill the happy bosom of every english bride and may the closing resolution of the first year of her married life be this let others do as they will as for me and my house toe wiu serve the lord chapter m characteristics of in approaching this part of my subject i cannot but feel that it is one which i have neither the understanding nor the skill to treat with ample justice all i will venture upon therefore is to point out a few of those peculiarities which women who have been but little accustomed to the society of men might otherwise be surprised to find in a husband if in of this task what i am compelled to say should appear in any way to the dignity of men in general my apology must be that it is the very peculiarities i am about to point out which constitute the chief difficulties a married woman has to contend with and which therefore claim the sympathy of such as are anxious to assist her in the right performance of her duties as a wife were all men excellent without and without defects there would be no need for words of caution or advice addressed to the weaker sex but especially to wives for each would have perpetually before her a perfect model of true excellence from which she would be ashamed to differ and by which she would be taught at once to admire and imitate whatever is most worthy of esteem with gratitude we ought to acknowledge our belief that morally and there is perfect equality between men and women yet in the character of a noble enlightened and truly good man there is a power and a so nearly approaching what we believe to be the nature and capacity of angels that as no feeling can exceed so no language can describe the degree of admiration and respect which the contemplation of such a character must to be permitted to dwell within the influence of such a man must be a privilege of the highest order to listen to his conversation must be a perpetual feast but to be permitted into his heart to share his counsels and to be the chosen companion of his joys and sorrows	41
it is difficult to say whether humility or gratitude should in the feelings of the woman thus distinguished and thus if all men were of this description these pages might be given to the winds we must suppose however for the sake of meeting every case and especially the most difficult that there are men occasionally found who are not strictly speaking noble nor highly enlightened nor altogether good that such men are as much disposed as characteristics op men their to enter into the married state is also a fact of public and it is to the women who venture upon themselves to such men for life that i would be understood chiefly to address myself in order to render the subject more clear i will in the first place draw an imaginary line between reasonable and unreasonable men a reasonable man is one who will give a candid hearing to arguments against his own opinions and who when he believes himself to have good cause for acting or thinking as he does is yet willing to be shown a better cause for acting or thinking differently the mind of a reasonable man is therefore open to conviction impartial and comprehensive and all these qualities from the very nature of his constitution he possesses in a higher degree than they can be possessed by woman an unreasonable man is one who will think and act in a particular manner simply because he will if he knows any better reason why he so thinks and acts he it unnecessary to disclose it because to him this is all sufficient and as it is one which no argument can and no opposition overcome the woman who has to accommodate her habits to his had need commence the preparation for her married life by a study of patience from the book of job if as i have stated the example and influence of a truly excellent man are such as to render the very atmosphere in which he lives one of perpetual improvement and delight on the other hand there is nothing more to a woman than to find defects in the character she has associated herself with for life having believed it to be thus excellent indeed the peculiarities of the wise and the of the good among the nobler sex have a peculiarly startling effect upon women in general and often prove the means of their improvement by awakening the childish and thought that if such are the best there can be little use in striving after excellence at all all women should therefore be prepared for discovering faults in men as they are for beholding spots in the sun or clouds in the summer sky nor is it consistent with the disinterested nature of women s purest deepest affection that they should love them less because they cannot admire them more much allowance should be made in all such calculations for the peculiar mode of education by which men are trained for the world from their early childhood girls are accustomed to fill an inferior place to give up to fall back and to be as nothing in comparison with their brothers while boys on the other hand have to suffer all the in after life of having had their selfishness encouraged from the time when they first began to feel the dignity of superior power and the triumph of occupying a superior place men who have been thus educated by foolish and indulgent mothers who have been placed at public schools where the influence the character and the very name of woman was a by word for contempt who have been afterwards associated with sisters who were capricious ignorant and vain such men are very blamed for being selfish and to the other sex in fact how should they be otherwise it is a common thing to complain of the selfishness of men but i have often thought on looking candidly at their early lives and reflecting how little cultivation of the heart is blended with what is called the best education the wonder should be that men are not more selfish still with all these then we may grant them to be selfish and pity rather than blame them that they are so for no happy being ever yet was found whose hopes and wishes in its own bosom the young and inexperienced woman who has but recently been made the subject of man s attentions and the object of his choice will probably be disposed to dispute this point with me and to argue that one man at least is free from selfishness because she sees or rather hears her lover willing to give up every thing for her but let no woman the wives op england trust to such for generally speaking those who are the most extravagant in their professions and the most in their before marriage are the most unreasonable and requiring afterwards let her settle it then in her own mind whatever aspect her affairs may assume at present that men in general are more apt than women to act and think as if they were created to exist of and by themselves and this self sustained existence a wife can only share in proportion as she is identified in every thing with her husband men have no idea generally speaking of having themselves and their affairs made to an end even though it may be a good one they are in fact their own and beginning and end but all this i repeat is the consequence of a want of that moral training which ought ever to be made the prominent part of education beyond this however it may be said to be a necessary part of man s nature and to his support in the position he has to maintain that he should in a greater degree than woman be sufficient unto himself the nature of his	41
occupations and the character of his peculiar duties require this the interests of the community at large the strife of public affairs and the competition of business with the importance of establishing himself as the master of a family and the head of a household all require a degree of concentrated effort in favor of and a powerful against others which woman happily for her is seldom or never called upon to maintain the same degree of difference in the education of men and women leads on the one hand to a more range of intellect and thought and on the other to the exercise of the same faculties upon what is particular and minute men consequently are accustomed to they look with far stretching views to the general bearing of every question submitted to their consideration even when planning for the good of their fellow creatures it is on a large scale and most frequently upon the principle of the greatest good to the greatest number by following out this system injustice is often unconsciously done to individuals and even a species of cruelty exercised which it should be woman s peculiar object to study to but at the same time to effect her purpose in such a way as neither to nor interfere with the greater and more important good we see here as in a thousand other instances the beautiful of the natural constitution of the two sexes so as to effect a greater amount of good by their joint efforts than either could effect alone were an island peopled only by men the of its and the cold formality of its public institutions would render it an soil for the growth of those finer feelings and those impulses of nature which not only the whole aspect of human life but are often proved to have been blossoms of the richest fruit and seeds of the most abundant harvest and were a neighboring island peopled by women only the discord of or the heated elements of a could scarcely equal the confusion the and the universal tumult that would follow the partial attention given to every separate complaint the ready accorded to every separate story and the prompt and application of means to effect at all times the most ends those who argue for the perfect equality the of women in their intellectual nature with men appear to know little of that higher philosophy by which both from the very distinctness of their characters have been made to the purposes of wisdom and of goodness and after having observed with deep thought and profound reverence the operation of mind on mind the powerful and instinctive sympathies which rule our very being and the associated influence of different natures all working together yet too separate and distinct to create confusion to those who have thus regarded the perfect of the plans of an all wise providence i own it characteristics op men does appear an ignorant and vulgar contest to strive to establish the equality of that which would lose not only its utility but its perfection by being with a different nature from the same constitution of mind which leads men to and to look at every thing they contemplate on an extensive scale they are seldom good even the most the very of whom we read such extraordinary accounts appear to have had a very mistaken idea of the best means of the great object of their lives thus while most anxious to avoid the least unnecessary expense some men greatly increase the waste and the of money in their household arrangements by not allowing a sufficient number of implements or other and means for the purpose of domestic operations by making each individual thing supply the place for which it is most suitable and best calculated to secure against absolute waste the master of a family is quite capable of perceiving that money for domestic purposes is often in demand and that through some channel or other it escapes very rapidly but he is altogether and would that all men would believe it to judge of the necessity there is for each particular sum or how the whole in the end must be increased by making every article of household use answer as many purposes as it is capable of without regard to fitness or strength but if on the one hand our first wish for the increased happiness of the homes of england would be that men should let these things alone our next and perhaps it ought to stand first and be still more earnest than the other is this that all women should be so educated and so prepared by the right disposition of their own minds as to afford their husbands just grounds for perfect confidence in their understanding and right principle with regard to these important affairs for in the first place without understanding no woman can and in the next without being anxious for the fulfilment of domestic duty no woman will thus in addition to other causes of anxiety sufficiently in the present day throughout every department of business hundreds and thousands of men in the respectable walks of life have to suffer from daily and almost apprehension that a system of neglect and extravagance in their own houses is wasting away the slender profits of their labor and their care on the score of simple kindness then one would suppose that a right minded woman would wish to spare her husband these distressing thoughts while on the score of domestic comfort ease and independence it is impossible to calculate the vast amount to which she would herself be the by convincing her husband that she was not only able but determined to manage his household expenditure with the least possible waste with all this however and often in connection with the most rigid notions of economy men are fond of personal nor ought they	41
that it is possible for him to be forgotten or neglected but chiefly in poverty or when laboring under depressed circumstances it is the part of a true wife to exhibit by the most delicate but most profound respect how highly she is capable of her husband of all those circumstances according to which he has been valued by the world it is here that the dignity of man is most apt to give way here that his stout heart fails him and here then it must be woman s part to build him up not as many are too apt to suppose merely to comfort him by her but actually to raise him in his own esteem to restore to him his estimate of his moral worth and to convince him that it is beyond the power of circumstances to an upright and an honest man and alas how much of this is needed in the present day could the gay and thoughtless daughters of england know for what situations they are training could they know how often it will become their duty to assume the character of the strong in order to support the weak they would surely begin to think of these things and to study the different workings of the human heart so as to be able to manage even its without striking them too rudely or i with a hand too little skilled and after all this great dignity of man is not much of it artificial or at least put on ke a robe of state to answer an especial id yes and a pitiful and heart it is to see the weakness of man s of all its pride the utter i might almost say for woman has ever something left to conceal her in the multitude of her resources she has also a multitude of to her distress but man has nothing in his humiliation he is like a tree the birds of the air no longer in its boughs the weary traveller no longer sits down to rest beneath its shade nothing is left to it but the clinging ivy to cover with freshness and beauty its ruin and decay it is said of woman that her imagination is easily that she is won by the hero s and led on by her love of glory and distinction to follow in the sunny path of the illustrious or the great but far more fatal to the peace of woman more influential upon her conduct more triumphant in their mastery over her whole being are the tears and helplessness of man when his proud spirit sinks within him or when he flies from his in the race of glory to bury his shame and perhaps his guilt in her bosom i will not ask how often after this exhibition of his weakness after his post of honor and being received again a for distinction he has forgotten the witness of his humiliation but i believe it is only as a wife a mother or a sister that woman can be this friend to man with safety to herself and with certainty that he will not afterwards rather avoid than seek her from the feeling that she has beheld him of his dignity and is consequently able to remind him of the humiliating past for the wife it might also be a dangerous experiment even in her and most moments to make any allusion to scenes and circumstances of this description especially to presume upon having necessarily assumed at such times the stronger and more important part when her husband chooses to be dignified again and is capable of maintaining that dignity she must herself to the happy change and fall back into comparative just as if circumstances had never given her a momentary superiority over him the peculiarity already alluded to as a i the wives of england characteristic of men and as leading them to attach more importance to what is immediate and than what is remote or ideal is one which renders them particularly liable to deception or rather to be what is more properly called practised upon than directly deceived so much so that i believe any woman who could manage her own temper might manage her husband provided she possessed his affections i say might because the mode of management by such means would be utterly to a generous and upright mind thus by fair speech and smooth manners accompanied with and flattering in little things some artful women have contrived to win their way to the accomplishment of almost every wish when a single rash or hasty word especially if it implied an assumption of the right to choose would have effectually defeated their ends i have listened much when men have been discussing the merits of women and have never heard any quality so universally commended by the nobler sex as while the opposite of a tongue too loud too ready or too in its exertions has been as universally condemned thus i am inclined to think that silence in general and smooth speech when language must be used are by most men amongst the highest of the female character while on the other hand those weapons sometimes so made use o are of all things what they most if however an artful woman finds it easy to practise upon her husband by the immediate of a manner suited to his taste this mean and degrading system of working out an end becomes more difficult in proportion to the of its detection until at last some men are brought to suspect that all women act indirectly in every thing they do hence comes that frequent answer when we ask a simple question merely for the sake of why do you wish to know as if it were impossible for women to be deeply interested where they had no end to serve and	41
as if there must of necessity be some hidden motive concealed behind that which is made apparent this habitual retort falls hardly upon those who i never have deserved it and not forms a serious obstacle in the way of obtaining useful knowledge but it is greatly to be feared that such an expression with the suspicion it would never have become habitual to men had not the general conduct of women brought this just punishment upon them indeed there is something to man s very nature in having to calculate upon that kind of petty which takes advantage of and for working out a purpose even where that purpose may not in itself be wrong and here we are brought at once to that great leading peculiarity in man s character his nobility or in other words his from those innumerable which obscure the beauty and the integrity of woman s life from all their their secret and petty spite man is so much so that the mere contemplation of the broad clear basis of his moral character his open truth his of aim and above all his dignified forbearance under provocation might often put the weaker sex to shame i am aware that there is much in the situation of both parties to create this difference that power to will and to act is often accompanied by a kind of moral majesty which a weaker spirit never can attain while kept in bondage either by fear or by absolute restraint i am aware too that boys from their very infancy are accustomed to a mode of treatment as much calculated to make them determined frank and bold as that of girls is to induce the opposite extremes of weakness and timid helplessness but even with these i am persuaded there are broad clear features in the moral dignity of man which it is impossible to contemplate in their strength and reality without respect and admiration and a sacred and trust it is for behavior to husbands woman to have the happiness of such a being committed to her a holy privilege to be the chosen companion of his come with her helplessness and weakness to find safety under his protection and to repose her own and troubled mind beneath the shelter of his love what then if by perpetual provocation she should awake the tempest of his wrath we will not contemplate the thought for there is something as fearful in his indignation as there is attractive in his kindness and flattering in his esteem nor in return for this kindness are we accustomed to feel gratitude enough for take away from social life not only the civility but the actual service done by men in removing difficulty protecting weakness and assisting in distress in what a helpless world would women find themselves left only to the slender aid and the tender of each other it is too much regarded merely as a thing of course for men to be obliging and attentive and it is too little remembered at what cost to them we purchase their help and their indulgence nor is it only in solitary instances or for especial that these efforts have to be made it is the sacrifice of a whole lifetime for a man to be polite there is no fireside so warm but he must leave it on a winter s night to walk home with some female visitor who has probably no charm for him there is no situation so eligible but he must resign it if required there is no difficulty he must not encounter no fatigue he must not endure and no gratification he must not give up and for whom all would do this perhaps for one being in the world perhaps for more but to be willing to do it every day and every hour even for the most repulsive or the most selfish and requiring of their sex there is a of self in all this which puts to shame the partial kindness and of woman it may be said that the popularity of politeness affords at once its and its reward but whence then do we receive those many private acts of service when no other eye is there but ours to no other tongue to praise and when we ourselves would probably have been the last of such favor had our companion chosen to assume the right of selecting an object better suited to his taste it is from considerations such as these and i would wish to impress them upon every female mind that i have not included the selfishness of man among his peculiarities though some might think the case would warrant a notice of this nature yet such is my conviction that man has much to bear with from the of such is my grateful estimate of his kindness not less to be admired because it is expected and required such too has been my own experience of his general to oblige where there was little to attract and still less to reward that whatever may be said by others it would ill become me to lift up a voice and that a public one against the selfishness of men let us rather look again at that nobility of which i have already spoken and while we blush to feel the of an inferior spirit us to many an unworthy thought and act let us study to our nature in all that is truly excellent with his who was at first expressly formed in the image of his maker chapter iv behavior to husbands lest the reader should suppose from the heading of this chapter that the management of husbands is what is really meant i must at once all to this particular kind of skill not because i do not think it capable of being carried out into a system whereby every woman might become the actual	41
ruler in her own domestic sphere but because i consider the system itself a bad one and utterly unworthy of being applied the wives op england f to any but the most extreme cases of on the husband s part with regard to the treatment of husbands then so great is the variety of character to be taken into account that it would be impossible to lay down any rule of universal application except upon the broad principles of kind feeling integrity and common sense still there are hints which may be thrown out it is to be hoped with benefit to the inexperienced and many of these will refer again to the peculiarity already dwelt upon in ths foregoing chapter the tendency in men which has been described as rendering them peculiarly liable to be impressed by what is evident to their senses must ever be consulted by the wife who would herself to her s mood and character and although these may vary in every individual and in the same may change with every difference of time and place it becomes the duty of a wife and one would suppose it must also be her pleasure to observe what those things are which habitually strike the attention of her husband so as to convey to him immediate impressions of pleasure or of pain remembering ever that all evidence of our tastes and wishes having been consulted even in our absence is one of the most grateful that can be made to every human heart thus the general appearance of his home has much to do with the complacency man naturally feels on returning to it if his taste is for neatness and order for the absence of servants and for perfect quiet it would be absolute cruelty to allow such a man to find his house in confusion and to have to call in servants to clear this thing and the other away after his return as if he had never once been thought of or at least thought of with kindness and consideration until he was actually seen some men particularly enjoy the cheerful welcome of a clean hearth and blazing fire on a winter s day and all are more or less to stir the glowing embers themselves rather than to see them stirred by others i knew an excellent woman who always had her fire built up in such a manner before her husband came home as to present a tempting crust for him to break through on his arrival and i much question whether the good lady was not more loved for this simple act than she would have been had her husband found his fire neglected and herself engaged in tears and prayers for ha individual welfare but here again we recognise no general rule for some men unquestionably there are who would much prefer that their should be on a future day than thus expended in a to welcome their return again it is of little use that you esteem and reverence your husband in the secret of your heart if you do not by your manners both at home and abroad this proper deference and regard at home it is but fitting that the master of the house should be considered as entitled to the choice of every personal indulgence unless or suffering on the part of the wife render such more properly her due but even then they ought to be received as a favor rather than claimed as a right women in the present day and in houses furnished as english homes generally are may enjoy so many advantages in the way of the body from which men and especially those engaged in business are that they can well afford to give up some of these to those they love and few indeed would not rather see them thus enjoyed than appropriated exclusively to themselves there is however one great difficulty in connection with this duty which it is to be hoped all persons are not like the writer unable to solve it is in the important question of self sacrifice how far this virtue ought to extend in the treatment of husbands there is certainly nothing more beautiful to read of in books and could every act of self sacrifice be seen and appreciated there would be nothing more delightful to practise towards those we love but the question is does it behavior to husbands tell in any high degree upon the happiness of man observation of the world would lead to the conclusion that it does not for where one husband s heart has been softened with gratitude on discovering how much his wife has suffered and denied herself for his sake ten times that number of women have been wounded to the very soul at not having their acts of self sacrifice valued according to their cost the fact is men in general do not see these things unless told of their existence and then at once their charm is destroyed is it not better then to be a little more of such acts than to do them and then grudge the expenditure of feeling they require or to do them and then complain of the punishment they inflict besides which some women go on in this way until more and more is expected of them the husband in his ignorance of the state of things behind the scenes never dreaming of what is actually suffered but rather proposing in his innocence that as one thing has been so comfortably given up another should follow until at last there bursts upon his unhappy head a perfect storm of feeling from her who would willingly have been a martyr for his sake would he only have observed and pitied what she was enduring for him on the other hand those women who calmly and maintain their rights for rights all women have who acting upon the broad	41
principle of yielding what is due from a wife to a husband make a clear distinction that and what would be expected by a tyrant from his slave who make themselves cheerful and comfortable with what it is proper for them to enjoy neither what they ought to give up nor giving up what they cannot afford to lose such women are upon the whole to be preferred as companions and certainly they are themselves from a world of wounded feeling under which the more generous are perpetually suffering and at the same time weeping and that they do so there is however a most delicate medium in these cases to be observed for when once woman loses the disinterested generosity of her character she loses her greatest charm and when she becomes a for rights or a of good things upon her greater as being a more delicate and fragile being than man she may indeed be said to have all that claims for her sex our interest and our admiration but on the other hand though she may not be aware of it there is a secret and deep seated selfishness in the wounded feeling which a generous act on finding it not valued according to its cost would it not then be wise to let this be our that none should give up more than they are prepared to resign without whether noticed and appreciated or not in my remarks upon the subject of i would of course be understood to refer only to those trifling and familiar affairs in which the personal comfort of daily life is concerned the higher and more sacred claims of trial and calamity with which the experience of every human being is occasionally admit neither of doubt calculation nor delay here i cannot suppose it possible that a true hearted woman would feel the least reserve for here it sacred privilege to forget herself to count no item of her loss to weigh no difficulty and to shrink from no pain provided she can suffer for or even with the companion whose existence is bound up with hers whatever doubt may be entertained on the subject of making self and selfish gratification to a husband s tastes and in all the little of domestic arrangement there can be none with regard to what is right m mixing in society either with friends or strangers it is here the privilege of a married woman to be able to show by the most delicate attentions how much she feels her husband s superiority to not by mere personal services rendered as if for the purpose of display but by a respectful reference to his opinion a willingly imposed silence when he speaks and if he be an enlightened man by a judicious turn sometimes given to the conversation so that his information and intelligence may be drawn forth for the benefit of others it is true that a considerable portion of tact is required to manage such matters as these without appearing to manage them at all for if the husband is once made to suspect that his wife is upon him for the purpose of showing how good a wife she is his situation will scarcely be more agreeable than that of the man who is made a mere of in company and called hither and thither to do little personal services for his wife as if she had mistaken him for one of her servants or what is more likely had chosen this means of exhibiting her unbounded influence over him both these extremes are at with good taste to say nothing of right feeling and here as in innumerable instances besides we see that if the tact i have so highly recommended in a previous work be valuable before marriage it is infinitely more so afterwards indeed there is scarcely one among the various of female character not even the highest accomplishments exhibited by the most distinguished which may not in some way or other be rendered a still more exquisite to married life provided only it is kept in its proper place and made always to that which is more thus the most fastidious taste when employed in selecting what is agreeable to a husband s fancy becomes to its possessor while those accomplishments which in the crowded drawing room were worse than useless in their display may sometimes be accounted as actual wealth to her who has the good feeling to render them to the amusement or the happiness of her own fireside on the other hand it is painful to hear the complaint so frequently made by married men that their wives have ceased to touch the instrument whose keys were rendered so sweetly available in the great object of charming before marriage and did not kindness or delicacy forbid a further disclosure of the secrets of their lot there is doubtless a greater number who could speak of their regret that the air of careful neatness the becoming dress and the general of look and manner which first won their attention had been gradually laid aside as advancing years and increasing cares had rendered them more necessary as an additional charm to the familiar scenes of domestic life yet in spite of appearances it is scarcely possible to imagine how there should be in any other situation so natural and so delightful a display of personal attractions as at home and before the one being whom of all the world we love best especially when we reflect that his destiny being bound up with ours if we allow him to feel weary of our company annoyed by our or dissatisfied with our personal appearance he must at the same time suffer doubly from the conviction that these things are to remain the same to him throughout the whole of his future life or ours what then so natural and so congenial to the best feelings	41
of woman as to render this long future as pleasing in its aspect as she can and what so degrading and so utterly at with the beauty of the female character as having once secured a legal claim to the protection of a husband ever afterwards to neglect those personal attractions which comparatively few women have to be charged with in their single state yet of what importance is it to the careless observer we meet with in general society how we dress or whether we look well or ill compared with what it is to the man who has to see us and perhaps us alone seated opposite to him at every meal of what importance is it to the stranger that we play badly or do not play at all that we draw without taste and have never learned to converse with and ease his happiness is in no way dependent upon us he can turn away and forget us the next moment but the case a widely different character when we look at it as extending through each separate hour of a long lifetime and surely if there he a natural exultation in having charmed an indifferent person or even a whole party for an hour there must be a higher and far more reasonable satisfaction in being able to a husband of his cares to win him from society which might divert his thoughts from home and to render that home not only the scene of his duties but of his favorite amusements and his dearest joys to this high purpose every intellectual should also be made for there is much in the life of men and particularly where business their attention to lower and the mind there is much to render it purely material in its aims and calculations and there is much also in man s public intercourse with his fellow man to render him eager and in that which in himself while at the same time he is regardless or of others as a rational and immortal being he consequently needs a companion who will be for the advancement of his intellectual moral and spiritual nature a companion who will raise the tone of his mind from the low anxieties and vulgar cares which necessarily occupy so large a portion of his existence and lead his thoughts to or repose on those subjects which convey a feeling of identity with a higher state of existence beyond this present life instead of this how often does the wife receive home her weary husband to render him still more weary by an of all the gossip she has heard through the day of the observations she has made upon her neighbor s furniture and way of living of the personal attentions or she has received with a long catalogue of complaints against her servants and worse than all ten thousand reasons strengthened by that day s experience why she should be indulged with some favorite article of dress or luxury upon which her heart has long been set it may be said in of this mode of conduct that the occupations of men of business in the present day are such and so pressing as to leave them little time and perhaps less inclination for interesting themselves in subjects of apparently less urgent and immediate importance and that consequently all endeavor to give their minds a bias in favor of nobler things would be but in reply to this observation i would ask one question have you made the experiment have you ever tried whether the introduction of a new idea and agreeably clothed might not be made quite as agreeable as the introduction of a new article of diet even dressed with the care have you then made the experiment for here lies the secret of all the good we can reasonably expect if for instance you should begin to talk about the stars when your husband asks for his slippers or quote poetry when he wants his dinner the would scarcely be wild enough to anticipate any very favorable result the first thing to be done in the of this high object is to use what influence you have so as not to lower or the habitual train of your husband s thoughts and the next is to watch every eligible opportunity and to use every suitable means of leading him to view his favorite subjects in their and most light while at the same time it is within the region of woman s to connect them by some delicate mode of association with the general bearing of a man s interests in this world upon his interests in eternity it is extremely difficult in writing on this subject to convey my exact meaning or indeed to avoid the charge of wishing to recommend instead of pleasant easy fireside chat the introduction of a dull and dry or perhaps discourse than which nothing can be more opposed both to the tastes and the habits of the writer as well as to her ideas of the nice art of pleasing and doing good at the same time indeed that mode of conversation which i have been accustomed to describe as talking en a large scale is except on very important occasions most i the wives op england to the natural softness and of woman it is not in fact her but belongs to a region of display in which she cannot or at least ought not to shine the excellence of woman as regards her conversation consists rather of quick and delicate and sometimes playful turns of thought with a lively and subtle apprehension of the bearings tendencies and associations of ideas so that the whole machinery of conversation if i may be allowed to use such an expression may be made by her good management to turn off from one subject and play upon another as if by the direction of	41
some magic influence which will ever be preserved from detection by the tact of an and sensitive nature it is in this manner and this alone that women should their interest in those great political questions which arise out of the state of the times in which they live not that they may be able to attach themselves to a party still less that they may make speeches either in public or in private but that they may think and converse like rational beings on subjects which occupy the attention of the majority of mankind and it is perhaps on these subjects that we see most strikingly the wide difference the low views so generally taken and those which i would so earnestly recommend if for example a wife would converse with her husband about a candidate for the representation of the place in which they live she may if she choose discuss the merits of the color which his party wears and wish it were some other as being more becoming she may tell with delight how he bowed especially to her and she may wish from her heart that the number of may be in his favor because he kissed her child and called it the prettiest he had ever seen it is this kind of which may properly be described as small talk and which it is to be feared a of soul yet this style of talk may be and sometimes is applied by women to all sorts of subjects not excepting politics philosophy and even religion but on the other hand there is an opposite style of con which may be used with equal scope of application on almost all subjects whether high or low and it is a truth which the v peculiar nature of woman s mind renders her admirably qualified to carry out through ordinary life that so intimately connected are our thoughts and habits and pursuits not only with those of other beings of a similar nature but with a state of existence in which that common nature will be more fully developed that there is scarcely a fact presented to our knowledge which has not a connection either immediate or remote with some great moral truth and scarcely a subject brought under our consideration which may not be by in some way or other to the improvement of our moral being it will readily be perceived however that this exercise of the powers of conversation would be utterly to a woman of ignorant or vulgar mind that she would alike be incapable of the of the object and the best mode of its accomplishment and here i would again to an expression not heard among young ladies that they do not wish to be clever by which we are left to suppose by their neglect of their own minds that they mean either well informed or capable of judging rightly yet without having paid considerable attention to the improvement and cultivation of their intellectual powers how will it be possible for them to raise the general tone of thought and conversation at their own fireside although i am not one of those who attach any high degree of importance to the possession of great intellectual in woman because i believe such natural gifts to have proved much more frequently her than her blessing and because they are not the of female character which most to her own happiness or the happiness of those around her yet if there be any case in which a woman might be forgiven for entertaining an honest pride in the superiority of her own talent it would be where she regarded it only as a means behavior to husbands of doing higher homage to her husband and bringing greater ability to bear upon the advancement of his intellectual and moral good indeed what is the possession of talent to a woman when considered in her own character separately and alone the possession of a dangerous a jewel which cannot with propriety be worn a mine of wealth which has no legitimate channel for the expenditure of its vast resources but let her find this natural and lawful medium for its exercise and we see at once in what an position she is placed we see at once the height from which she can stoop the of the sacrifices she is consequently enabled to make and the evidences no less valuable which she can thus bring forward as proofs of her affection nothing however can be more delicate and trying than the situation of such a woman and especially when her husband is inferior to herself but if he should be absolutely silly it would require more skill than the writer of these pages can boast to know what mode of treating him to recommend for build him up as you will before company j and much may be done in this way by the exercise of delicacy and tact a truly man will sink again and there is no help for it the charitable conclusion is that a woman so situated must be content to reap the consequences of her own folly in having made so a choice the best friend on earth would be unable to assist her nor could the counsel her mistake in the case of a highly gifted woman even where there is an equal or superior degree of talent possessed by her husband nothing can be more or more fatal to her happiness than an exhibition even of the least disposition to presume upon such gifts let her husband be once subjected to a feeling of jealousy of her importance which without the will be liable to arise and her peace of mind and her free agency are alike destroyed for the remainder of her life or at any rate until she can convince him afresh by a long continuance of the most scrupulous conduct that the	41
with with behavior to husbands the perfect trust of a nobler nature on her own woman is raised to a degree of moral elevation which in her single state she never could have known and if her own disposition be generous and grateful she will feel it a sacred obligation not to abuse this trust but the great and important question arises how is this trust to be secured with the most ardent desire to enjoy this the chief good of married life and the foundation upon which all its happiness must rest there are two ways in which woman may effectually fail and morally in the first she may fail from want of knowledge in the second from want of principle in the first instance whatever there may be in her conduct or conversation exhibiting a want of judgment of that perception of fitness and which is invaluable in the female character and of a proper acquaintance with common things is calculated to the confidence of her husband in her ability whatever her inclination may be to make a good wife a prudent mistress or a judicious mother it is in vain complaining that this sentence is a hard one when her heart is right and when she really does her best it is in vain complaining that her husband does not trust her either with the knowledge of his affairs or the management of her own confidence in one being is not a matter of choice in another it is what we ourselves must purchase by an absence of failure on those points in which the interests of another party are dependent upon us if then a husband finds in his wife a degree of ignorance which renders her incapable of judging rightly in common things if he finds that she has never made any proper use of her powers of observation that she has not been in the habit of thinking to any rational purpose of h ing or drawing right conclusions from what she has seen and heard it would be hard indeed to require him to believe that she will act with prudence and propriety as the mistress of a house and the natural consequence is that she must be watched suspected and in some degree treated as a child i therefore in a previous work i have earnestly recommended to the daughters of england an early and cultivation of their mental powers it has not been that such of character as are under the head of cleverness learning and knowledge or taste tact and observation should merely give zest to conversation or throw an intellectual charm over the society of the drawing room it is that the happy individual who possesses these advantages may on becoming a wife become also a companion in whom her husband can perfectly and at all times confide there are however cases in which the want of this confidence falls hardly because it is the inevitable result of circumstances over which the wife in her single state had no control one of these is where the mind is naturally weak and here the wife would certainly act most wisely by placing her actions and opinions under the direction of her husband and allowing herself to be treated accordingly but there are also those who from no fault of their own have before marriage enjoyed few advantages as regards mental cultivation in this case much may be done in the way of making up for loss time and where a desire to do so is evinced where a respectful and judicious reference to the husband s opinion is sometimes made and at other times a still more judicious silence observed these proofs of good sense and right feeling will go a long way towards obtaining the confidence desired but a far more serious and it is to be feared more frequent reason for the loss of this invaluable treasure is a moral one and here so many causes meet and combine in their operation that it would require no common degree of knowledge of the human heart to be able to point them out with and effect the first thing i shall in relation to this part of the subject is the essential importance there is that every husband should feel himself perfectly the wives op england l safe with his wife safe the worthy with whom could he be safe if not with me do i not watch him care for him and wait upon him with a solicitude that would screen him from every approach of harm all this may be true enough and yet you may occasionally have taken advantage of your intimacy for weaknesses on his part which need not otherwise have been known you may have marked your occasion when company was present for throwing out hints against him which you dared not have uttered when alone or you may have betrayed an evident triumph before your friends or your servants on obtaining over him some advantage in opinion or argument although such as these may appear but very trifling when separately yet their number and variety sometimes make up a sum of considerable magnitude and importance as they operate upon individual feeling and too clearly a want of delicacy generosity or real affection they lead in short to the very natural feeling on the part of the husband that his wife is not the bosom friend he had fondly imagined her that she knows no perfect identity of self with him but has separate interests to which he and his affairs are liable at any time to be made i have already said that the dignity of man should always be maintained but there is also a delicate and respectful manner of giving way to a husband in little things which is the means of obtaining on his part in those which are of greater moment simply because having found his wife generally	41
it is from an ambitious desire to extend the limits of this sphere that many have brought trouble upon themselves by having their authority called in question more than it ever would have been had they remained satisfied with a field for its exercise but delicacy and strict are both required on the part of the wife to to herself this desirable allowance of free agency for she must remember that her husband has also his appropriate sphere of action and a much more extensive one than hers in which she has no right to interfere because as in the case already stated she is incapable of understanding what is necessary there and if on both sides there should be the exercise of this delicacy and in avoiding all assumption of a right which does not exist it is impossible but that real affection should dictate the mutual development of much if not all which could interest the feelings of either party thus there need be no positive concealment for that is the last thing i would recommend but an open honest straightforward way of acting as if each mind depended upon the other less for assistance in its own sphere than for perfect propriety of feeling and constant to principle in the sphere to which it more properly belonged it is upon a right of distinctions such as these that the dignity and usefulness of the marriage state in a great degree depend from remembering that principle must ever be the foundation of action but that the open disclosure of every act and purpose must ever be a matter of choice and if regarded as such there will be no doubt but mutual love will supply information enough to satisfy the most unbounded curiosity thus it has never appeared to me that the free agency which a judicious wife should be permitted to enjoy in her own department had any thing to do with concealment any more than that the transactions in one public office should be said to be concealed from another because each had its separate rooms and officers so far from this i should rather say that a generous nature and especially that of woman when trusted to and made to feel that trust will from a sense of grateful satisfaction involuntarily disclose its every plan purpose and act not even throwing a veil over its many failures and short in the way of discretion or duty indeed so powerful m its influence upon the female character is this feeling of being trusted that i have often thought if man could know the heart of woman better he might almost guide it to his pleasure by simply using this master key to her gratitude and generosity but i must not forget that my business is with the behavior of wives to their husbands not with that far easier subject in a female hand the behavior of husbands to their wives among other points of consideration comprehended under the general head of confidence towards wives there is one of such importance to the of woman s conduct in her domestic affairs that were this one consideration all which had to be taken into account it would of itself be well worth every endeavor to so desirable an end i mean the open communication of the state of the husband s pecuniary circumstances to his wife for i can scarcely imagine any thing more congenial to the best feelings of a faithful wife than to be made the of all the interest and enjoyment her husband from prosperity and success while on the other hand there is no greater cruelty than that of allowing a woman of good principles and right feelings to go on conducting her household expenses in a manner inconsistent with the real state of his affairs when they are in any degree depressed or involved in difficulty yet how often has this been the case how often has an honest hearted woman had to bear the charge of having been in reality h to her husband s when ignorance not want of principle was the cause besides which how much may be done by domestic economy and by a meek and if not exactly to the calamity of a ruined house at least to the wounded and bitter feelings which naturally arise among those who are the greatest the present day is one which claims peculiar attention to this subject and if from any fault in the wife from any of her husband s secrets any or practised against himself any assumption of importance on her part any want of consideration for his feelings or foolish and interference with matters peculiarly his own if from any of these causes she has shut herself out from his confidence now before it shall be too late is the time to begin a new system of behavior for which she may eventually be rewarded by being admitted into his bosom counsels and thus allowed to share not only in all the hopes and fears arising out of the nature of pecuniary affairs but also in those nobler acts of self denial which accompany sound and enlightened views of the of justice in all transactions of a pecuniary character what then of such importance as to obtain the perfect and confiding trust of the companion with whom or for whom you have to act in every thing you do and in order to this happy nothing is so essential as that you should yourself be true there is a spirit of truth and a spirit of falsehood many of those actions which could not be said to be either true or false in themselves yet according to the choice we make these our behavior will be upright candid generous and free or it will be artful selfish and cowardly it does not in order to practise falsehood that we must from the exact letter of truth	41
there are methods of deceiving as many and as various as the circumstances which our experience every day and if a conscientious to truth is not made the rule of daily life one act of will grow out of another until the whole conduct becomes a of and deceit the first and most innocent step towards falsehood is concealment before our common acquaintances there is wisdom in concealment to a certain extent but where the intimacy is so great the identity so close as between a husband and a wife concealment becomes a sort of breach of faith and with parties thus situated the very act of concealment can only be kept up by a series of artful to ward off suspicion or observation of the thing concealed now when a husband as in all probability he will unless these are carried out to a very great extent when he that his wife has been concealing one thing from him he very naturally that she has concealed many more and his suspicions will be awakened in proportion it will then be in vain to assure him that your motive was good that what you did was only to spare him pain or afford him pleasure he will feel that the very act is one which has set him apart in his own house as a stranger rather than a guardian there an enemy rather than a friend why then should you begin with concealment the answer it is to be feared is but too familiar my husband is so unreasonable and here then we see again the great advantage of choosing as a companion for life a reasonable man who may with safety and satisfaction be made acquainted with every thing you think or do after concealment has been habitually practised there follows in order to escape detection a system of false assumed appearances and secret schemes as much at with the spirit of truth as the most direct falsehood and unquestionably as to the mind but as an almost inevitable consequence next follows falsehood itself for what woman would like her husband to know that she had for days months or years been upon his if he what she has been concealing he will also discover that often when the subject was alluded to she his questions by introducing another that sometimes she so managed her voice as to convey one idea while she expressed another and that at other times she absolutely a lie no she cannot bear that he should look back and see all this lest he should despise her and therefore in some critical moment when brought into that trying situation in which she must either confess all or deny all she at last that fatal word which effectually breaks asunder the spiritual bond of married love and now it is scarcely possible to imagine a more melancholy situation than that of a weak and helpless woman separated by falsehood from all true fellowship either human or divine for there is no fellowship in falsehood the very soul of might justly be said to be embodied in a lie it is in fact the sudden breaking asunder of that the wives of england great chain which together all spiritual influences and she who is guilty of falsehood must necessarily be alone alone for she has no sympathy of feeling with the beautiful creation around her of which it has truly been said that nature never alone for in that higher world where all her secret thoughts and acts are its very light is truth alone for she has voluntarily become a stranger a suspected thing an enemy to that one friend in whose bosom she might have found shelter and repose it is a fact which scarcely needs to be repeated that the closer the intimacy and the more important the trust the greater is the individual injury and consequently the of personal feeling when that trust is abused thus when the child is first made to understand that it has been deceived by its mother the very life of its little soul seems for a moment to be when the father finds that his prodigal son has but returned to take advantage of his affection and his wounded spirit sinks and his weary heart is broken but when the husband looks with earnest eyes into the countenance whose beauty was once his sunshine when memory flies back and brings again her vow with all its treasury of truth when he thinks of that fond heart which seemed to cling to his in all the innocence of oh it is horrible to be discarded thence by the dark demon of distrust perpetually reminding him that the bright and sunny tide of early love upon which he trusted all the riches of his soul is but a smiling and ocean whose surface at once the hues of heaven and the depths of hell it is impossible to speak in language adequate to the importance of this cause for by failure in this one point the whole fabric of affection which might otherwise be made so influential in the promotion of every kind of good becomes a heap of ruins as disgraceful to the as to the deceived yet after all is not the former the greater sufferer of the two is it not more miserable to be thus separated from all community of thought and feeling either earthly or divine than to be the mere of treachery or yes and she feels it so and out of her very desolation sometimes the voice of making confession of some individual act of and craving with all the humility of utter wretchedness to be in confidence and esteem but this cannot be the thing is impossible the silver cord which has been no single act of human will can tie again the golden bowl which has been broken no single effort of	41
human kindness can restore but may not years bring back the confidence so abused oh blessed thought begin then a new life let truth be the principle of every thought the echo of every word the foundation of every act truth is it must it will prevail beautiful as the morning it will arise glorious as the it will shine forth calm as the evening it will be followed by repose and thus each day may feel its and influence while every flower that grows beneath its ray will shed i charm upon the path of life but if the of confidence after it has been lost be an object of such importance to attain what must be the happiness of her who has never lost this treasure who has borne through all change and all trial a true and upright heart towards her husband who though he may have sometimes mistaken and sometimes blamed her has still been able to say even when appear were least favorable and when per he was most in need of the consolation derived from confidence in her thou art my true and honorable wife as dear to me as are the ruddy drop that visit this sad heart what then if she has sometimes suffered when it has seemed as if a little would have made all things easy that suffering has the love of married life been in a noble cause and then the reward the conscience void of offence towards that one being to whom she can be nothing if not the fearless look the tone the steady hand the soul that might be forth before him the hopes the fears that might be the workings of a busy mind whose plans might all at any moment be laid bare before his eye and onward into the far future not a dream but he might know it all and onward yet the blessed consciousness that should the secrets of all hearts be read on the great day of everlasting doom there would be one whose glance and that the most familiar would not detect a single act or thought of her whole life to his interests or such as might not have been revealed to him before nor is the mere escape from the uncertainty anxiety and pain upon the habitual practice of falsehood all that has to be considered a brighter picture in the page of truth is that in which we see in living hues the enjoyment of a full heart and laying open its secret treasury of thought and feeling to him whose earthly portion whether it be one of or wo must inevitably be blended with our own and it is from this very identity that the practice and the love of truth becomes more important as a moral obligation in the married state than in all others indeed the perfect truth towards each other of individuals thus united is as necessary to their welfare and their happiness as the union and of the different members of the human frame is to the usefulness and integrity of the whole it as has already been stated the peculiar privilege of a strict to truth that it brings its own reward for if we voluntarily confess the truth by this means we obtain confidence if we suffer for truth we have the consolation of suffering in a noble muse and of gaining strength by every effort re make in its support while if we to the truth ind thus the beauty and the power of this great attribute in the divine government we have the still higher satisfaction of doing our humble part to the god of truth chapter vi the love of life if in the foregoing pages i have spoken of the married state as one of the trial of principle rather than of the of hope and if upon the whole my observations should appear to have assumed a rather than a cheering character it has arisen in the first place from my not having reached until now that part of the subject in which the advantages of this connection are fully developed and if in the second place i must plead to the charge of desiring to throw some in the way of youthful it has simply been from observing amongst young people generally how much greater is the tendency to make the experiment for themselves than to prepare themselves for the experiment therefore i have selected words of warning in preference to those of an opposite nature it has been because the tide of popular feeling especially amongst young women is already sufficiently strong in favor of matrimonial while the disposition to all the advantages of such an alliance appears far beyond what bears any proportion to the desire evinced for to that discipline by which alone they can be rendered permanent that this expectation and reality arises from ignorance rather than any other cause i am fully prepared to believe ignorance of the human heart of the actual circumstances of human life of the operation of cause and effect in human affairs and of the relative duty of human beings one towards another the numbers who have failed in this way to realize in their experience of married life the wives op england the fair picture which imagination painted before it was tried it would be useless to attempt to as well as to tell how many have thrown the blame of their disappointment upon situation or upon husband servants friends or relatives when the whole has rested with themselves and has arisen solely out of a want of in their views and habits to the actual of the new state of existence upon which they have entered that this state itself is not capable of the greatest amount of happiness which is expected from it i should be sorry to	41

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