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Forgettable , if good-hearted , movie .
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The film 's most improbable feat ?
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... about as exciting to watch as two last-place basketball teams playing one another on the final day of the season .
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The Chateau ... is less concerned with cultural and political issues than doting on its eccentric characters .
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Cruel and inhuman cinematic punishment ... simultaneously degrades its characters , its stars and its audience .
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It 's not too fast and not too slow .
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It 's not too much of anything .
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The great pity is that those responsible did n't cut their losses -- and ours -- and retitle it The Adventures of Direct-to-Video Nash , and send it to its proper home .
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An empty shell of an epic rather than the real deal .
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Instead of using George and Lucy 's most obvious differences to ignite sparks , Lawrence desperately looks elsewhere , seizing on George 's haplessness and Lucy 's personality tics .
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Becomes a bit of a mishmash : a tearjerker that does n't and a thriller that wo n't .
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Family togetherness takes a back seat to inter-family rivalry and workplace ambition ... whole subplots have no explanation or even plot relevance .
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Grant is n't Cary and Bullock is n't Katherine .
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Like a fish that 's lived too long , Austin Powers in Goldmember has some unnecessary parts and is kinda wrong in places .
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Two tedious acts light on great scares and a good surprise ending .
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Shyamalan should stop trying to please his mom .
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The entire movie is in need of a scented bath .
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I 'm sorry to say that this should seal the deal - Arnold is not , nor will he be , back .
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The story of Trouble Every Day ... is so sketchy it amounts to little more than preliminary notes for a science-fiction horror film , and the movie 's fragmentary narrative style makes piecing the story together frustrating difficult .
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A Movie to Forget
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For all of its insights into the dream world of teen life , and its electronic expression through cyber culture , the film gives no quarter to anyone seeking to pull a cohesive story out of its 2 1\/2 - hour running time .
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Enough is not a bad movie , just mediocre .
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The performances are so overstated , the effect comes off as self-parody .
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It looks good , but it is essentially empty .
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The film never finds its tone and several scenes run too long .
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The idea is more interesting than the screenplay , which lags badly in the middle and lurches between not-very-funny comedy , unconvincing dramatics and some last-minute action strongly reminiscent of Run Lola Run .
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Van Wilder has a built-in audience , but only among those who are drying out from spring break and are still unconcerned about what they ingest .
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It 's hard to believe that something so short could be so flabby .
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Do we really need another film that praises female self-sacrifice ?
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The major problem with Windtalkers is that the bulk of the movie centers on the wrong character .
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The entire point of a shaggy dog story , of course , is that it goes nowhere , and this is classic nowheresville in every sense .
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Stale and clich d to a fault .
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This film is too busy hitting all of its assigned marks to take on any life of its own .
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Watching junk like this induces a kind of abstract guilt , as if you were paying dues for good books unread , fine music never heard .
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Starts off witty and sophisticated and you want to love it -- but filmmaker Yvan Attal quickly writes himself into a corner .
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Some Like It Hot on the Hardwood proves once again that a man in drag is not in and of himself funny .
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Witless and utterly pointless .
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When ` science fiction ' takes advantage of the fact that its intended audience has n't yet had much science , it does a disservice to the audience and to the genre .
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As a feature-length film , it wears out its welcome as tryingly as the title character .
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A sleep-inducing thriller with a single twist that everyone except the characters in it can see coming a mile away .
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With a `` Spy Kids '' sequel opening next week , why bother with a contemptible imitator starring a `` SNL '' has-been acting like an 8-year-old channeling Roberto Benigni ?
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It 's just rather leaden and dull .
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Lacks the visual flair and bouncing bravado that characterizes better hip-hop clips and is content to recycle images and characters that were already tired 10 years ago .
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Statham employs an accent that I think is supposed to be an attempt at hardass American but sometimes just lapses into unhidden British .
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Instead of trying to bust some blondes , -LRB- Diggs -RRB- should be probing why a guy with his talent ended up in a movie this bad .
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Dismally dull sci-fi comedy .
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There 's surely something wrong with a comedy where the only belly laughs come from the selection of outtakes tacked onto the end credits .
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When one hears Harry Shearer is going to make his debut as a film director , one would hope for the best
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The leads we are given here are simply too bland to be interesting .
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-LRB- Toback 's -RRB- fondness for fancy split-screen , stuttering editing and pompous references to Wittgenstein and Kirkegaard ... blends uneasily with the titillating material .
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Adam Sandler 's 8 Crazy Nights is 75 wasted minutes of Sandler as the voice-over hero in Columbia Pictures ' perverse idea of an animated holiday movie .
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essentially `` Fatal Attraction '' remade for viewers who were in diapers when the original was released in 1987 .
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... this story gets sillier , not scarier , as it goes along ...
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Even a hardened voyeur would require the patience of Job to get through this interminable , shapeless documentary about the swinging subculture .
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The film 's hero is a bore and his innocence soon becomes a questionable kind of inexcusable dumb innocence .
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A singularly off-putting romantic comedy .
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This is an exercise not in biography but in hero worship .
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It all comes down to whether you can tolerate Leon Barlow .
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In the spirit of the season , I assign one bright shining star to Roberto Benigni 's Pinocchio -- but I guarantee that no wise men will be following after it .
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Check your brain and your secret agent decoder ring at the door because you do n't want to think too much about what 's going on .
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A culture clash comedy only half as clever as it thinks it is .
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The logic of it all will be Greek to anyone not predisposed to the movie 's rude and crude humor .
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Starts out strongly before quickly losing its focus , point and purpose in a mess of mixed messages , over-blown drama and Bruce Willis with a scar .
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... a fascinating curiosity piece -- fascinating , that is , for about ten minutes .
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After that it becomes long and tedious like a classroom play in a college history course .
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Director Jay Russell weighs down his capricious fairy-tale with heavy sentiment and lightweight meaning .
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Its screenplay serves as auto-critique , and its clumsiness as its own most damning censure .
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At times , it actually hurts to watch .
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Nemesis suffers from a paunchy midsection , several plodding action sequences and a wickedly undramatic central theme .
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The jokes are telegraphed so far in advance they must have been lost in the mail .
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-LRB- Tries -RRB- to parody a genre that 's already a joke in the United States .
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The movie is the equivalent of French hip-hop , which also seems to play on a 10-year delay .
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A beyond-lame satire , Teddy Bears ' Picnic ranks among the most pitiful directing debuts by an esteemed writer-actor .
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I 've never seen -LRB- a remake -RRB- do anything as stomach-turning as the way Adam Sandler 's new movie rapes , pillages and incinerates Frank Capra 's classic ...
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And people make fun of me for liking Showgirls .
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Such a wildly uneven hit-and-miss enterprise , you ca n't help suspecting that it was improvised on a day-to-day basis during production .
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A weird little movie that 's amusing enough while you watch it , offering fine acting moments and pungent insights into modern L.A. 's show-biz and media subcultures .
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But it does n't leave you with much .
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I 'm convinced I could keep a family of five blind , crippled , Amish people alive in this situation better than these British soldiers do at keeping themselves kicking .
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Like Mike is a slight and uninventive movie : Like the exalted Michael Jordan referred to in the title , many can aspire but none can equal .
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There is nothing funny in this every-joke-has - been-told-a - thousand-times - before movie .
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Always destined to be measured against Anthony Asquith 's acclaimed 1952 screen adaptation .
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This is standard crime drama fare ... instantly forgettable and thoroughly dull .
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There 's some outrageously creative action in The Transporter ... -LRB- b -RRB- ut by the time Frank parachutes down onto a moving truck , it 's just another cartoon with an unstoppable superman .
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From its nauseating spinning credits sequence to a very talented but underutilized supporting cast , Bartleby squanders as much as it gives out .
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Yet another genre exercise , Gangster No. 1 is as generic as its title .
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There 's an admirable rigor to Jimmy 's relentless anger , and to the script 's refusal of a happy ending , but as those monologues stretch on and on , you realize there 's no place for this story to go but down .
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A lightweight , uneven action comedy that freely mingles French , Japanese and Hollywood cultures .
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Such a fine idea for a film , and such a stultifying , lifeless execution .
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-LRB- Allen 's -RRB- best works understand why snobbery is a better satiric target than middle-America diversions could ever be .
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This overlong infomercial , due out on video before month 's end , is tepid and tedious .
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An ambitious , guilt-suffused melodrama crippled by poor casting .
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Rarely has sex on screen been so aggressively anti-erotic .
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A dull , inconsistent , dishonest female bonding picture .
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So much about the film is loopy and ludicrous ... that it could have been a hoot in a bad-movie way if the laborious pacing and endless exposition had been tightened .
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A disappointment for a movie that should have been the ultimate IMAX trip .
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This Sade is hardly a perverse , dangerous libertine and agitator -- which would have made for better drama .
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He 's just a sad aristocrat in tattered finery , and the film seems as deflated as he does .
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The film 's needlessly opaque intro takes its doe-eyed Crudup out of pre-9 \/ 11 New York and onto a cross-country road trip of the Homeric kind .
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It 's as if a bored Cage spent the duration of the film 's shooting schedule waiting to scream : `` Got AIDS yet ? ''
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