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What ensues are much blood-splattering , mass drug-induced bowel evacuations , and none-too-funny commentary on the cultural distinctions between Americans and Brits .
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A dark comedy that goes for sick and demented humor simply to do so .
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The movie is without intent .
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While Hollywood Ending has its share of belly laughs -LRB- including a knockout of a closing line -RRB- , the movie winds up feeling like a great missed opportunity .
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If The Full Monty was a freshman fluke , Lucky Break is -LRB- Cattaneo -RRB- sophomore slump .
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Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant make a great team , but this predictable romantic comedy should get a pink slip .
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Allegiance to Chekhov , which director Michael Cacoyannis displays with somber earnestness in the new adaptation of The Cherry Orchard , is a particularly vexing handicap .
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You expect more from director Michael Apted -LRB- Enigma -RRB- and screenwriter Nicholas Kazan -LRB- Reversal of Fortune -RRB- than this cliche pileup .
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The first mistake , I suspect , is casting Shatner as a legendary professor and Kunis as a brilliant college student -- where 's Pauly Shore as the rocket scientist ?
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The dramatic scenes are frequently unintentionally funny , and the action sequences -- clearly the main event -- are surprisingly uninvolving .
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Replacing John Carpenter 's stylish tracking shots is degraded , handheld Blair Witch video-cam footage .
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Of all the Halloween 's , this is the most visually unappealing .
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It has the requisite faux-urban vibe and hotter-two-years-ago rap and R&B names and references .
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Despite its dry wit and compassion , the film suffers from a philosophical emptiness and maddeningly sedate pacing .
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... feels as if -LRB- there 's -RRB- a choke leash around your neck so director Nick Cassavetes can give it a good , hard yank whenever he wants you to feel something .
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Attal pushes too hard to make this a comedy or serious drama .
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He seems to want both , but succeeds in making neither .
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I could have used my two hours better watching Being John Malkovich again .
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Girlfriends are bad , wives are worse and babies are the kiss of death in this bitter Italian comedy .
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The only young people who possibly will enjoy it are infants ... who might be distracted by the movie 's quick movements and sounds .
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The film boasts at least a few good ideas and features some decent performances , but the result is disappointing .
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1
No Such Thing breaks no new ground and treads old turf like a hippopotamus ballerina .
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A wishy-washy melodramatic movie that shows us plenty of sturm und drung , but explains its characters ' decisions only unsatisfactorily .
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Zoom !
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1
Lurid and less than lucid work .
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A wannabe comedy of manners about a brainy prep-school kid with a Mrs. Robinson complex founders on its own preciousness -- and squanders its beautiful women .
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If anything , see it for Karen Black , who camps up a storm as a fringe feminist conspiracy theorist named Dirty Dick .
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1
This 90-minute dud could pass for Mike Tyson 's E !
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This is surely one of the most frantic , virulent and foul-natured Christmas season pics ever delivered by a Hollywood studio .
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Once the expectation of laughter has been quashed by whatever obscenity is at hand , even the funniest idea is n't funny .
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The connected stories of Breitbart and Hanussen are actually fascinating , but the filmmaking in Invincible is such that the movie does not do them justice .
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A depressingly retrograde , ` post-feminist ' romantic comedy that takes an astonishingly condescending attitude toward women .
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Return to Never Land is much more P.C. than the original version -LRB- no more racist portraits of Indians , for instance -RRB- , but the excitement is missing .
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Just bring on the Battle Bots , please !
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1
While it 's all quite tasteful to look at , the attention process tends to do a little fleeing of its own .
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Broder 's screenplay is shallow , offensive and redundant , with pitifully few real laughs .
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The Sweetest Thing leaves a bitter taste .
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In a big corner office in Hell , Satan is throwing up his hands in surrender , is firing his R&D people , and has decided he will just screen The Master of Disguise 24\/7 .
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For something as splendid-looking as this particular film , the viewer expects something special but instead gets -LRB- sci-fi -RRB- rehash .
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A thriller without a lot of thrills .
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This stuck pig of a movie flails limply between bizarre comedy and pallid horror .
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Done in mostly by a weak script that ca n't support the epic treatment .
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Despite its visual virtuosity , ` Naqoyqatsi ' is banal in its message and the choice of material to convey it .
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Slap her - she 's not funny !
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No French people were harmed during the making of this movie , but they were insulted and the audience was put through torture for an hour and a half .
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Though its rather routine script is loaded with familiar situations , the movie has a cinematic fluidity and sense of intelligence that makes it work more than it probably should .
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1
`` One look at a girl in tight pants and big tits and you turn stupid ? ''
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Um ... is n't that the basis for the entire plot ?
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One regards Reign of Fire with awe .
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1
Its impressive images of crematorium chimney fires and stacks of dead bodies are undermined by the movie 's presentation , which is way too stagy .
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Seeing as the film lacks momentum and its position remains mostly undeterminable , the director 's experiment is a successful one .
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1
I suspect this is the kind of production that would have been funnier if the director had released the outtakes theatrically and used the film as a bonus feature on the DVD .
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An unfortunate title for a film that has nothing endearing about it .
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can be as tiresome as 9 seconds of Jesse Helms ' anti- Castro rhetoric , which are included
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Comes off as a long , laborious whine , the bellyaching of a paranoid and unlikable man .
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It just goes to show , an intelligent person is n't necessarily an admirable storyteller .
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... most viewers will wish there had been more of the `` Queen '' and less of the `` Damned . ''
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Hopelessly inane , humorless and under-inspired .
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Kapur fails to give his audience a single character worth rooting for -LRB- or worth rooting against , for that matter -RRB- .
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It reduces the complexities to bromides and slogans and it gets so preachy-keen and so tub-thumpingly loud it makes you feel like a chump just for sitting through it .
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The problem with `` XXX '' is that its own action is n't very effective .
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A great script brought down by lousy direction .
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Big mistake .
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A mediocre exercise in target demographics , unaware that it 's the butt of its own joke .
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He does n't , however , deliver nearly enough of the show 's trademark style and flash .
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Perhaps even the SLC high command found writer-director Mitch Davis 's wall of kitsch hard going .
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According to Wendigo , ` nature ' loves the members of the upper class almost as much as they love themselves .
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1
An encouraging effort from McCrudden
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1
The romance between the leads is n't as compelling or as believable as it should be .
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If I could have looked into my future and saw how bad this movie was , I would go back and choose to skip it .
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Supposedly authentic account of a historical event that 's far too tragic to merit such superficial treatment .
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Adroit but finally a trifle flat , Mad Love does n't galvanize its outrage the way , say , Jane Campion might have done , but at least it possesses some .
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To Blandly Go Where We Went 8 Movies Ago ...
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A slow-moving police-procedural thriller that takes its title all too literally .
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This u-boat does n't have a captain .
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With nary a glimmer of self-knowledge , -LRB- Crane -RRB- becomes more specimen than character -- and Auto Focus remains a chilly , clinical lab report .
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This one aims for the toilet and scores a direct hit .
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Dull , a road-trip movie that 's surprisingly short of both adventure and song .
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I walked away not really know who `` they '' were , what `` they '' looked like .
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Why `` they '' were here and what `` they '' wanted and quite honestly , I did n't care .
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After several scenes of this tacky nonsense , you 'll be wistful for the testosterone-charged wizardry of Jerry Bruckheimer productions , especially because Half Past Dead is like The Rock on a Wal-Mart budget .
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The Country Bears wastes an exceptionally good idea .
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But the movie that does n't really deliver for country music fans or for family audiences
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As for children , they wo n't enjoy the movie at all .
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... you can be forgiven for realizing that you 've spent the past 20 minutes looking at your watch and waiting for Frida to just die already .
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Too bad writer-director Adam Rifkin situates it all in a plot as musty as one of the Golden Eagle 's carpets .
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The movie is genial but never inspired , and little about it will stay with you .
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But its storytelling prowess and special effects are both listless .
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Despite the opulent lushness of every scene , the characters never seem to match the power of their surroundings .
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even after 90 minutes of playing opposite each other Bullock and Grant still look ill at ease sharing the same scene .
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What should have been a painless time-killer becomes instead a grating endurance test .
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A bland , obnoxious 88-minute infomercial for Universal Studios and its ancillary products . . .
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little action , almost no suspense or believable tension , one-dimensional characters up the wazoo and sets that can only be described as sci-fi generic .
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The Master of Disguise is awful .
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It 's Pauly Shore awful .
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Do n't say you were n't warned .
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Disappointing in comparison to other recent war movies ... or any other John Woo flick for that matter .
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` Opening up ' the play more has partly closed it down .
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What -LRB- Frei -RRB- gives us ... is a man who uses the damage of war -- far more often than the warfare itself -- to create the kind of art shots that fill gallery shows .
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An ugly , revolting movie .
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