conversations
listlengths 2
2
| subreddit
stringclasses 3
values | url
stringlengths 29
124
|
|---|---|---|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I refuse to work with compost! It's degrading."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I hate working with vacuum cleaners. They all suck!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/lq51s2/i_refuse_to_work_with_compost_its_degrading/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My Half-Brother and I, aren't allowed to play with chainsaws anymore"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "He’s cut off!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/13a0mxq/my_halfbrother_and_i_arent_allowed_to_play_with/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I ask for people’s opinions on birds, but they always..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...look at me disapprovingly as they think I'm storking them."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/hg6tuq/i_ask_for_peoples_opinions_on_birds_but_they/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Say what you want about deaf people"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "They can still read!.."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/rt1g3l/say_what_you_want_about_deaf_people/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I remember 9 months before I was born, I went to a party with Dad and left with Mom."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The sperm wars party 🎉"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/xlxl7a/i_remember_9_months_before_i_was_born_i_went_to_a/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "There’s something wrong with my infinity pool"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I snapped and all six of my kids are still alive."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/mog2ff/theres_something_wrong_with_my_infinity_pool/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I've struggled with timekeeping since I don't know when."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Can't focus on minute details"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/y6aukv/ive_struggled_with_timekeeping_since_i_dont_know/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If you're here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Got a genuine laugh from me."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/72jglm/if_youre_here_for_the_yodeling_lesson_please_form/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My friend Bob always spells his name backwards."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "boB"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/oxedht/my_friend_bob_always_spells_his_name_backwards/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If there's two things I hate it's people who are intolerant to other people's cultures and a Dutch."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Austin Powers 3: Goldmember. I remember that line. Pretty funny."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/pp2fz2/if_theres_two_things_i_hate_its_people_who_are/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I try to live every day as though it were my last and who wants to do laundry on the last day they’re alive?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I just throw mine on the bedroom floor and hope the laundry fairy stops by. So far it's been unsuccessful, but I have faith in my methods."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7hzdgl/i_try_to_live_every_day_as_though_it_were_my_last/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The average person has sex 89 times a year so the next two days are going to be pretty wild."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Ya, I admit it, immediately tried to divide 365 by 89."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/rrlkp9/the_average_person_has_sex_89_times_a_year_so_the/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Mom used to feed me alphabet soup because she said I really liked it -- I didn't though, she was just putting words in my mouth."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Knowing your Mom, I wouldn't put it pasta."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8ovikb/mom_used_to_feed_me_alphabet_soup_because_she/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What's the best prank you've ever pulled?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I haven't done it yet, but I got this camera off of craigslist with pictures of dead bodies on it. I am going to find the guy who did it and shit on his porch. If he does not have a porch, or I don't have to shit, I am going to kill him."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/aqw98/whats_the_best_prank_youve_ever_pulled/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If Birth certificates are human receipts, then Death Certificates"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "are proof of refund"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/v2h1go/if_birth_certificates_are_human_receipts_then/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Top rated joke of Edinburgh Fringe Festival."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/6vbt0b/im_not_a_fan_of_the_new_pound_coin_but_then_again/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Church is kind of like a really limited book club...\nThat's it, just cracked myself up with this, sorry y'all..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Everybody pretends they’ve read the book"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sqgeki/church_is_kind_of_like_a_really_limited_book_club/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Gender reassignment surgery is a dick move."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Well, a Dick *Remove*"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/92vila/gender_reassignment_surgery_is_a_dick_move/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If my apartment were any smaller than this, I'd have to"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Hide the bodies somewhere else"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/j4wkph/if_my_apartment_were_any_smaller_than_this_id/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "April Fools prank thread.\nLets get a ton of ideas out there in preparation for April 1st.\n\nI'll start with a classic:\n\nTape the sprayer button down on the sink. Let it spray the next person to turn on the water."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "If you have access to someone else's bedroom while they're not around get a pinata, fill it with glitter, hang it above thier bed and place a bat underneath. Few people can resist pinatas."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bjwi5/april_fools_prank_thread/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Titanic\n​\n\n[Titanic](https://preview.redd.it/9s9kdgtn57j41.png?width=2366&format=png&auto=webp&s=d30744d9f2168abbee15d73b4f0ebe44aba07f57)"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Why is this funny?"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/f9nra9/titanic/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "my Italian friend has so many body piercings, he even got his naples done"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Oh, that's Sicily"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/qdoxre/my_italian_friend_has_so_many_body_piercings_he/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "When you cant beat them..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You must verbally abuse them instead."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/hgo39g/when_you_cant_beat_them/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "There's no need for women to behave the way they do on their period.\nIt's an ovary action"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "My thoughts eggsactly."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dw7j8/theres_no_need_for_women_to_behave_the_way_they/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I wish you were a shin...\nSo I could bang you on my coffee table."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Definitely funnier than the previous version, \"I wish you were a shin so I could stick my penis in your vagina.\""
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/crwhn/i_wish_you_were_a_shin/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things that you don't really need if you stay single."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is a good one."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/sbri8x/marriage_teaches_you_forgiveness_compromise_and/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and asks, “Can you make me one with everything?”"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "He pays with a $50 bill, but doesn’t get anything back from the cashier. When he asks about it, the cashier says, “Change comes from within.”"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ne5r40/the_dalai_lama_walks_into_a_pizza_shop_and_asks/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My girlfriend said she hates giving me oral sex, well, at least I think that's what she was trying to say."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I wouldn't know because I keep her tied up and gagged in my basement"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/acgw3k/my_girlfriend_said_she_hates_giving_me_oral_sex/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Had a terrible start to my day, ran over 3 geese....it's given me goosebumps."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'd take a gander at that."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/jkavk6/had_a_terrible_start_to_my_day_ran_over_3/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’d give my right hand to be ambidextrous."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "But"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9113hy/id_give_my_right_hand_to_be_ambidextrous/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Is that tempura in your pants or..\nare you just happy to sashimi?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "The correct gagline is: *are you just happy sashimi?*. Adding the \"to\" in destroys the meter."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bdq6v/is_that_tempura_in_your_pants_or/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was going to get a brain transplant , but then I changed my mind"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Wouldn’t “wasn’t” work better here?"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8fhdbe/i_was_going_to_get_a_brain_transplant_but_then_i/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The first time I bought a universal remote control, i thought to myself, \"Now this changes everything!\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Okay, take my upvote"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/aym05w/the_first_time_i_bought_a_universal_remote/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’m only friends with people that have autism because I don’t want to make eye contact either."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Or just move to Minnesota"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/e70x80/im_only_friends_with_people_that_have_autism/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "complaining about nudity in a novel that contains no pictures is like complaining about there being too much sound in a sandwich."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/12pozar/complaining_about_nudity_in_a_novel_that_contains/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "used to be addicted to not showering, I'm proud to say I've been clean for 2 years."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I'm soap proud of you!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8msjuz/used_to_be_addicted_to_not_showering_im_proud_to/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [June 2020]: /r/ItalianCrabPropaganda. Know of a small (under 20,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "r/jakesdoorcomics\n\n14yo kid draws hilarious comics on his bedroom door whiteboard every night"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/ItalianCrabPropaganda/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was so ugly as a baby, that when my mom breastfed me, she used to close her eyes and think of other babies."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This sounds like something Rodney Dangerfield would have said."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7md13m/i_was_so_ugly_as_a_baby_that_when_my_mom/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I was in Tesco with 2 full trolleys of shopping when a little old lady appeared behind me in the queue.\nShe only had a pint of milk, so I did the decent and said,\"If I were you, I'd piss off to another till because I'll be fuckin ages\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is the most british statement I've ever seen."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dcvrw/i_was_in_tesco_with_2_full_trolleys_of_shopping/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A priest once told me that masturbation was wrong and sinful... I asked if I should stop and he said \"not yet, I'm almost there\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Jimmy Carr is so cheap - he's testing material on reddit?"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/cndzlm/a_priest_once_told_me_that_masturbation_was_wrong/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I'm such a virgin that even flipping a coin won't give me head."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "But at least it’ll give you some tail"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ijt6xc/im_such_a_virgin_that_even_flipping_a_coin_wont/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "cocaine"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No such thing as one line, lol"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/x98yxx/cocaine/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Just seen a guy dressed as Elvis in our local DIY shop, he returned a sander"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Address unknown, no doubt."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ulptc0/just_seen_a_guy_dressed_as_elvis_in_our_local_diy/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The pub is ten minutes from my house, however, my house is two hours from the pub."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is due to the fabric of life. You see, the road there is tarmac but the road back is a weaving."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/a3wyh9/the_pub_is_ten_minutes_from_my_house_however_my/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A poor knowledge of Greek Mythology has always been my Achilles elbow."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Don't you mean your Poseidon's Kiss?"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ogi83k/a_poor_knowledge_of_greek_mythology_has_always/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Santa Claus will be visiting the U.S. for the first time since 2016..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Looks like he finally sold that coal mine."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/rnlzx1/santa_claus_will_be_visiting_the_us_for_the_first/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Hyperbole is linguistic murder."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Literally…"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/skf7rt/hyperbole_is_linguistic_murder/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I told this girl she'd look sexy with her hair back, but apparently that's something you don't say to a cancer patient?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "No need to wig out about it."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7uzq6w/i_told_this_girl_shed_look_sexy_with_her_hair/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Saying “lollygagging” really take a new meaning in the anime community nowadays."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "*\"incorrect\" buzzer noise*"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/13v0wjy/saying_lollygagging_really_take_a_new_meaning_in/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "With so many layers of clothes in the winters, finding a woman’s inner beauty is extremely challenging."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Women are like onions."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ewn4sj/with_so_many_layers_of_clothes_in_the_winters/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Balloons are weird, \"Happy Birthday, here's a plastic sack of my breath\"."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "“And in return, I give you: air from my lungs.”\n\n*”how… intimate.”* \n\n“There’s more where that came from!”"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/tdwuen/balloons_are_weird_happy_birthday_heres_a_plastic/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Subreddit Of The Month [March 2016]: /r/ScaringChildren, \"Scaring, scarring, we do it all here\". Know of a small (under 10,000 subscribers) humor-based subreddit that deserves a month in the spotlight? Link it inside!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It's my own very small subreddit /r/BallinPets. I have high hopes for it."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/ScaringChildren
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Blind people sure do walk their dogs a lot."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "They provide quite the service for those lovely animals!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8r195x/blind_people_sure_do_walk_their_dogs_a_lot/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "My wife was raised by wolves"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "She left me for a dentist who had a thing for canines."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/l36loc/my_wife_was_raised_by_wolves/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Dark is spelled with a k and not c because you can’t see in the dark."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "At some point this sub is either going to die or start copypasta-ing jimmy carr"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/uzkrtk/dark_is_spelled_with_a_k_and_not_c_because_you/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I used to be a member of the secret cooking society, but they kicked me out for spilling the beans."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I used to be in a cheese preservation society, but they kicked me out for cutting the cheese."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/ca5jr8/i_used_to_be_a_member_of_the_secret_cooking/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I hate spelling errors, because you can mess up just two letters, and your whole post is urined."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "My problem is homophones; their the wurst."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/71d2sc/i_hate_spelling_errors_because_you_can_mess_up/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I had to quit my job as a shoe salesman, it just wasn't a good fit."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You poor sole."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/dqvdpe/i_had_to_quit_my_job_as_a_shoe_salesman_it_just/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Let's play a game, Reddit. Tell a joke without the punchline. Write a punchline for someone else's joke.\nI'll start you off!"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "How many political commentators does it take to change a light bulb?"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/d7loz/lets_play_a_game_reddit_tell_a_joke_without_the/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "One person gets an idiom wrong and it spreads like wildflower"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I get the pun, but \"spreads like wildfire\" isn't an idiom"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/98dnsh/one_person_gets_an_idiom_wrong_and_it_spreads/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "White boards are remarkable."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Wow dude, I saw this less than 24 hours ago."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/786dz3/white_boards_are_remarkable/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "People are often shocked when they find out I'm not a very good electrician."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I just hope you don’t charge a lot"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9mq4zi/people_are_often_shocked_when_they_find_out_im/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "#1 oddest compliment I've ever received: The lady at the blood bank said I have a nice color blood collecting the bag after my donation was finished.\nThanks I think?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Are you the kinda person who thinks the stripper actually likes you"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/w2cp7r/1_oddest_compliment_ive_ever_received_the_lady_at/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’ve decided to stop masturbating and since then, I’ve not really felt myself."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is getting out of hand"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7fmdmy/ive_decided_to_stop_masturbating_and_since_then/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Best place to meet someone with a smoking hot body is the burn ward at the hospital"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Or a crematorium!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/crzdcm/best_place_to_meet_someone_with_a_smoking_hot/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "People are so judgemental these days, I can tell just by looking at them."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Nice!\n\nThis has a similar tone to something I floated by here a while back:\n\n\nhttps://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/bufa3p/youre_too_judgmental/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/g23ta6/people_are_so_judgemental_these_days_i_can_tell/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Maybe she's born with it... Maybe she got it while on vacation in Mexico?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Herpes. The gift that keeps on giving."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/m4o8hl/maybe_shes_born_with_it_maybe_she_got_it_while_on/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question with a joke?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Clever girl"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/pa4kyn/what_do_you_get_when_you_mix_a_rhetorical/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If you have a hairless cat, can you blow raspberries on its stomach? Can someone try and report back?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "hehe, she laughed a lot. Said it feels good."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/bg71r/if_you_have_a_hairless_cat_can_you_blow/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "it could be a condom ad...\n​\n\nhttps://reddit.com/link/aimohv/video/lb04dlyl4zb21/player"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "He handled it unbelievably well though. You don't see that often today at all"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/aimohv/it_could_be_a_condom_ad/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A chihuahua walks into a strip club."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "...And flashes all 8 titties"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/jxbg5z/a_chihuahua_walks_into_a_strip_club/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Schrödinger's cat: wanted, dead and alive."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "With box or without?"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8ddzwx/schrödingers_cat_wanted_dead_and_alive/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "German bathtubs are bad, and German poetry is verse, but German sausage is the wurst."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Where did Hitler keep his armies? In his sleevies"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/96sco4/german_bathtubs_are_bad_and_german_poetry_is/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I once tried to date a tennis player, but love meant nothing to her."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It's okay though, she always made a racket in bed."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/76eh0r/i_once_tried_to_date_a_tennis_player_but_love/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Candles smell like burnt nose hairs"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Hey look an actual one liner!"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/f4ex0g/candles_smell_like_burnt_nose_hairs/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The date-rape drug for necrophiliacs is cyanide."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "That's a killer joke, bud"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7fxh3o/the_daterape_drug_for_necrophiliacs_is_cyanide/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A guy walks into a doctor's office...\nGuy: \"Doctor, I can't stop singing 'What's New, Pussycat'. You have to help me.\"\n\nDoctor: \"Hmmm, it sounds like you have 'Tom Jones syndrome'.\"\n\nGuy: \"Is it common?\"\n\nDoctor: \"It's not unusual.\""
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I see Carlton Banks dancing to this in my head."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c8dvr/a_guy_walks_into_a_doctors_office/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Roses are red violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I think you're confusing schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder (dissociative identity.) Schizophrenia is mostly associated with hearing voices or having paranoid delusions, not having more personalities."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/7it0bl/roses_are_red_violets_are_blue_im_schizophrenic/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I just farted wearing my noise cancelling headphones....\nI forgot the planes engines weren't on and I have no idea how loud it was. Currently avoiding eye contact..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "To be honest I was in my own world and very relaxed. I realised after the actual event and no one appreciates a late apology"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/6u3i0g/i_just_farted_wearing_my_noise_cancelling/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "People say it’s difficult to have sex with erectile disfunction but it’s not fucking hard."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Nice"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/fdiupa/people_say_its_difficult_to_have_sex_with/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "300 Tarantulas crawl into a bar..."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "“Bill, you can’t keep saying things like that to the Irish people”"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/hpxr1x/300_tarantulas_crawl_into_a_bar/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I hate chocolate and bookshelves for the same reason."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "When they're covered in dust they're both inedible."
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/ig86nd/i_hate_chocolate_and_bookshelves_for_the_same/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Every time before opening a locked door, you have to make a key decision."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Plot twist."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/8ksq4g/every_time_before_opening_a_locked_door_you_have/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "hey reddit, this is the only joke that i ever thought of myself. hope you like it!\nwhy are hammerheads the least liked of all the sharks???\n\nbecause they're such tools! :DDD"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I made this joke up in 2008. \n WHat does an exploding ape sound like? \nBABOON!"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ehpfy/hey_reddit_this_is_the_only_joke_that_i_ever/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You may now kiss the bride."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/72vod5/dont_you_hate_it_when_someone_answers_their_own/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Welcome to Femboy Hooters ! What can I get ya?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Can you get that fork I dropped on the floor infront of the massive mirror?"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/tgum23/welcome_to_femboy_hooters_what_can_i_get_ya/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A high-quality reddit post should be like a woman's skirt...\n... long enough to cover the essentials, but short enough to keep it interesting."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I vote skirts up all of the time!"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/cimi2/a_highquality_reddit_post_should_be_like_a_womans/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "She asked if I wanted to hear a joke about sodium. I said \"Na.\"."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "My girlfriend asked if I wanna hear a joke about sodium bromate, I said NaBrO3"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/75lmtm/she_asked_if_i_wanted_to_hear_a_joke_about_sodium/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "The only thing flat-earthers fear, is sphere itself."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": ">from r/Jokes 3 days ago"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/75gi44/the_only_thing_flatearthers_fear_is_sphere_itself/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "If the Queen farts, is it a noble gas?"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "She's 91. There is no \"if\""
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/83dnaz/if_the_queen_farts_is_it_a_noble_gas/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I’ve just written a song about tortillas; actually, it’s more of a rap."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I feel like changing tortillas to burrito would make more sense."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/9851hp/ive_just_written_a_song_about_tortillas_actually/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Q. A is for apple, B is for ball. What is C for?\nPlastic explosives."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "... when I was reading it the first thing I thought of was \"cunt\"\r\n\r\nPretty clever, though."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/e9mnu/q_a_is_for_apple_b_is_for_ball_what_is_c_for/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Kerning appreciation day.\nSpread the word."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "What the hell is Keming?"
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dud4l/kerning_appreciation_day/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "All generalizations are false."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Only a Sith deals in absolutes."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/10acugo/all_generalizations_are_false/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "A country full of only single men would be in stagnation."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "I expect everyone would be having a jolly gay time."
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/t18v8p/a_country_full_of_only_single_men_would_be_in/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I just opened my electric bill and water bill at the same time and was completely shocked."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "You are a conductor"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/81dmoo/i_just_opened_my_electric_bill_and_water_bill_at/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "We didn't know which one of the dogs swallowed my ring, but we found it through process of elimination."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "i dont get it"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/q5l4eg/we_didnt_know_which_one_of_the_dogs_swallowed_my/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "Gave my wife a bracelet that belonged to my my grandmother, she didn't appreciate it saying Do Not Resuscitate"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "This is really best as a two liner. I like it but the end is too obvious. Maybe “but she was upset because her initials aren’t DNR.”"
}
] |
oneliners
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/oneliners/comments/r4388t/gave_my_wife_a_bracelet_that_belonged_to_my_my/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "I got a text yesterday...\n\"U interested in religious terrorism?\" it was from a number I didn't recognize. I was torn between responding with \"Just tell me when and where\" and \"Who is this\"."
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "It's a tarp."
}
] |
funny
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/dvap0/i_got_a_text_yesterday/
|
[
{
"from": "human",
"value": "300 numbers walk onto the stage"
},
{
"from": "gpt",
"value": "Instead of figuring out why they are on stage, why people are watching them or why they exist at all, they start laughing at number 69"
}
] |
FollowThePunchline
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/FollowThePunchline/comments/hl6qwy/300_numbers_walk_onto_the_stage/
|
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