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AI2 Adapt Dev 52

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The paper for the Girvan Newman algorithm, which for a time was the state-of-the-art algorithm for finding clusters in networks (for example, close groups of friends on Facebook).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Perhaps I've just become cynical, but keep in mind that what the ivy league elite are allowed to publish is not necessarily what *you're* allowed to publish. Peer review works very differently for the high prestige scholars; if you used simple language it might get rejected for not showing sufficient sophistication. But when a big name does it, it's celebrated as a show of clarity.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The paper for the Girvan Newman algorithm, which for a time was the state-of-the-art algorithm for finding clusters in networks (for example, close groups of friends on Facebook).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Obviously there are some technical terms relating to anatomical direction and embryo structures. But I really liked this recent article in nature. It is very simple a rare glimpse of the activities of individual cells the early human embryo. The figures are super simple, and gradually build to make some basic points. 1. What they did. 2. What they found and how it compares to mouse (A common proxy for human development). 3. New cell sub-types found. 4. Details of how a rare cell type develops in humans. That is it. Here it is: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04158-y", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The paper for the Girvan Newman algorithm, which for a time was the state-of-the-art algorithm for finding clusters in networks (for example, close groups of friends on Facebook).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "> good inspiration on how to structure my own article Can you tell us a little more about what you're writing? You would want to structure a review differently to a research paper, and there would be an obvious difference in readability and structure between them too. It's far easier to be readable and well structured in a review since you're speaking more generally and synthesizing and summarizing material in a way that is understandable rather than creating it anew.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The old style Scientific American had 4-5 articles per issue and they were all written for a 10th grade reading level. I loved the format. Then they changed to be more \"Discover\" like and I stopped my subscription. mumble mumble, Damn lowest common denominator mumble mumble.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Perhaps I've just become cynical, but keep in mind that what the ivy league elite are allowed to publish is not necessarily what *you're* allowed to publish. Peer review works very differently for the high prestige scholars; if you used simple language it might get rejected for not showing sufficient sophistication. But when a big name does it, it's celebrated as a show of clarity.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The old style Scientific American had 4-5 articles per issue and they were all written for a 10th grade reading level. I loved the format. Then they changed to be more \"Discover\" like and I stopped my subscription. mumble mumble, Damn lowest common denominator mumble mumble.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Obviously there are some technical terms relating to anatomical direction and embryo structures. But I really liked this recent article in nature. It is very simple a rare glimpse of the activities of individual cells the early human embryo. The figures are super simple, and gradually build to make some basic points. 1. What they did. 2. What they found and how it compares to mouse (A common proxy for human development). 3. New cell sub-types found. 4. Details of how a rare cell type develops in humans. That is it. Here it is: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04158-y", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "The old style Scientific American had 4-5 articles per issue and they were all written for a 10th grade reading level. I loved the format. Then they changed to be more \"Discover\" like and I stopped my subscription. mumble mumble, Damn lowest common denominator mumble mumble.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Perhaps I've just become cynical, but keep in mind that what the ivy league elite are allowed to publish is not necessarily what *you're* allowed to publish. Peer review works very differently for the high prestige scholars; if you used simple language it might get rejected for not showing sufficient sophistication. But when a big name does it, it's celebrated as a show of clarity.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Obviously there are some technical terms relating to anatomical direction and embryo structures. But I really liked this recent article in nature. It is very simple a rare glimpse of the activities of individual cells the early human embryo. The figures are super simple, and gradually build to make some basic points. 1. What they did. 2. What they found and how it compares to mouse (A common proxy for human development). 3. New cell sub-types found. 4. Details of how a rare cell type develops in humans. That is it. Here it is: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-021-04158-y", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hardy, G. H., 1908 Mendelian proportions in a mixed population. Science 28: 49–50 I don't think this is an apt template for most research papers, but it's a great reminder that sometimes less is more. Why use many word when few word do trick?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What is the best scientific article you have ever read purely based on it’s readability, taxonomic levels, structure and overall design? I’m looking for some good inspiration on how to structure my own article.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "!RemindMe 1 week", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I teach online, primarily asynchronous. In an average year, I don’t find it more tiring. However, the pandemic has made everything tiring. If you are teaching live on Zoom, I can imagine it’s exhausting. After a day on Zoom, I am physically and mentally drained. I’m tired of looking at myself, I’m tired of not being able to read cues. It’s tiring. I do find in person teaching to be both exhilarating (while it’s happening) and exhausting (after), but I am an introvert.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, the same concept takes double the time to teach !!!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I taught on Zoom for the past two semesters, it was a whole different level of exhaustion from teaching in person. My brain was literally mush after a full day teaching classes and having meetings on Zoom. For me, teaching in person isn’t as exhausting because you aren’t constantly trying to manage a million different things on Zoom, your PowerPoint, connectivity issues, teach, and try to engage with students who don’t even have their cameras on. I also found that my social anxiety was worse on zoom. Since I couldn’t see the vast majority of my students, I didn’t know if they were there, who else was there, if they understood the concepts, etc. I understand the reasons for students not turning their cameras on…but it makes one hell of an experience for the instructor.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It does. When you teach online, you also move less since you subconsciously try to keep yourself centered on your camera, so you get stiff and thus more tired. Moving yourself around (during breaks or while in sessions even) with shoulder shrugs, head rolls, head tilts, etc. will help.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "**Me in late 2019**: \"I think I will switch to online distance teaching only. That way I can get a huge number of international students and get more bang for the bucks, i.e. teach fewer courses and cash in on the volume. 200 international students per course is the way to go!\" ***2020 and Covid happens and everything becomes Zoom-teaching.*** **Me in 2021**: \"I'm done with anonymous, and physically and socially distant teaching. 2022 will be IRL teaching only.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It really depend on the nature of what you teach. If you try to replace lectures, then indeed I can imagine it is draining. But you also would benefit from re-thinking the material and the presentation techniques. One of the biggest mistakes is trying to offer courses that were previously given in real life as online courses. They simply do not translate. My teaching is on workshops, so limited attendance of 24 people, and everyone has actually found the online versions are better than the live ones (with minor exceptions of course). In my case of course there is plenty of interaction, and the way the interaction works has been much better than a live course. e.g. for any questions on exercises or the material, the second teacher can constantly monitor the Teams chat and answer questions without interrupting the flow. Having said that, I still find myself tired after a full day of teaching. Do not underestimate the physical aspect of it. I find when I break up my day between sitting and standing, I keep much more energized. And make good use of coffee and lunch breaks (if you have them where you teach) to be physical. Go for a walk, a short run, or even do some push ups, seriously, it will make a world of difference. ​ Good luck :)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "**Me in late 2019**: \"I think I will switch to online distance teaching only. That way I can get a huge number of international students and get more bang for the bucks, i.e. teach fewer courses and cash in on the volume. 200 international students per course is the way to go!\" ***2020 and Covid happens and everything becomes Zoom-teaching.*** **Me in 2021**: \"I'm done with anonymous, and physically and socially distant teaching. 2022 will be IRL teaching only.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It does. When you teach online, you also move less since you subconsciously try to keep yourself centered on your camera, so you get stiff and thus more tired. Moving yourself around (during breaks or while in sessions even) with shoulder shrugs, head rolls, head tilts, etc. will help.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "**Me in late 2019**: \"I think I will switch to online distance teaching only. That way I can get a huge number of international students and get more bang for the bucks, i.e. teach fewer courses and cash in on the volume. 200 international students per course is the way to go!\" ***2020 and Covid happens and everything becomes Zoom-teaching.*** **Me in 2021**: \"I'm done with anonymous, and physically and socially distant teaching. 2022 will be IRL teaching only.\"", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hate teaching online. Pre-recorded lectures mean you get no interface with the audience - no visual cues to comprehension, no questions, not interaction. Online classroom sessions often result in really low engagement by many students, and it's impossible to walk around and see how people are getting on, challenge errors that you spot, etc. You can only see what they share, which often is very little. You can design around this somewhat, but if your university was anything like ours we were not given any resource to actually spend time re-writing our material for online format, so the opportunities to reformulate things were limited, and the module specifications/accreditations/assessment formats often have fixed requirements on what the skills and content to be covered are. If you can't write the module from scratch for an online format, the whole thing is harder work, less effective, and frankly soul crushing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It really depend on the nature of what you teach. If you try to replace lectures, then indeed I can imagine it is draining. But you also would benefit from re-thinking the material and the presentation techniques. One of the biggest mistakes is trying to offer courses that were previously given in real life as online courses. They simply do not translate. My teaching is on workshops, so limited attendance of 24 people, and everyone has actually found the online versions are better than the live ones (with minor exceptions of course). In my case of course there is plenty of interaction, and the way the interaction works has been much better than a live course. e.g. for any questions on exercises or the material, the second teacher can constantly monitor the Teams chat and answer questions without interrupting the flow. Having said that, I still find myself tired after a full day of teaching. Do not underestimate the physical aspect of it. I find when I break up my day between sitting and standing, I keep much more energized. And make good use of coffee and lunch breaks (if you have them where you teach) to be physical. Go for a walk, a short run, or even do some push ups, seriously, it will make a world of difference. ​ Good luck :)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It does. When you teach online, you also move less since you subconsciously try to keep yourself centered on your camera, so you get stiff and thus more tired. Moving yourself around (during breaks or while in sessions even) with shoulder shrugs, head rolls, head tilts, etc. will help.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes it’s more tiring. In traditional classes, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, and then go to the 50 min class. In online, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, record the video, edit and upload the video, type the discussion, set the due dates, grade the discussion (check for completion), and answer emails about the discussion. Sometimes, I’ll give students a virtual live class option in lieu of completing the discussion but then I still have to grade the discussion for anyone who couldn’t attend.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hate teaching online. Pre-recorded lectures mean you get no interface with the audience - no visual cues to comprehension, no questions, not interaction. Online classroom sessions often result in really low engagement by many students, and it's impossible to walk around and see how people are getting on, challenge errors that you spot, etc. You can only see what they share, which often is very little. You can design around this somewhat, but if your university was anything like ours we were not given any resource to actually spend time re-writing our material for online format, so the opportunities to reformulate things were limited, and the module specifications/accreditations/assessment formats often have fixed requirements on what the skills and content to be covered are. If you can't write the module from scratch for an online format, the whole thing is harder work, less effective, and frankly soul crushing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a professor ask the students to incorporate emojis more in chat just so they could get some feedback. She had a lot of little jokes she peppered into her lectures and it really threw her off not hearing people’s chuckle or see a smile. It might help make your lectures more interactive if you ask your students to use 👎🏻👍🏻😆 She had to ask us a couple of times to really get the ball rolling but the class became accustomed to it within the week.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes it’s more tiring. In traditional classes, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, and then go to the 50 min class. In online, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, record the video, edit and upload the video, type the discussion, set the due dates, grade the discussion (check for completion), and answer emails about the discussion. Sometimes, I’ll give students a virtual live class option in lieu of completing the discussion but then I still have to grade the discussion for anyone who couldn’t attend.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes it’s more tiring. In traditional classes, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, and then go to the 50 min class. In online, I’ll read the material, prep a lesson, record the video, edit and upload the video, type the discussion, set the due dates, grade the discussion (check for completion), and answer emails about the discussion. Sometimes, I’ll give students a virtual live class option in lieu of completing the discussion but then I still have to grade the discussion for anyone who couldn’t attend.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teaching in person is also tiring but you also get more energy back from interacting more than you can online. I get more tired from online teaching because of that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hate teaching online. Pre-recorded lectures mean you get no interface with the audience - no visual cues to comprehension, no questions, not interaction. Online classroom sessions often result in really low engagement by many students, and it's impossible to walk around and see how people are getting on, challenge errors that you spot, etc. You can only see what they share, which often is very little. You can design around this somewhat, but if your university was anything like ours we were not given any resource to actually spend time re-writing our material for online format, so the opportunities to reformulate things were limited, and the module specifications/accreditations/assessment formats often have fixed requirements on what the skills and content to be covered are. If you can't write the module from scratch for an online format, the whole thing is harder work, less effective, and frankly soul crushing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teaching in person is also tiring but you also get more energy back from interacting more than you can online. I get more tired from online teaching because of that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Teaching in person is also tiring but you also get more energy back from interacting more than you can online. I get more tired from online teaching because of that.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a professor ask the students to incorporate emojis more in chat just so they could get some feedback. She had a lot of little jokes she peppered into her lectures and it really threw her off not hearing people’s chuckle or see a smile. It might help make your lectures more interactive if you ask your students to use 👎🏻👍🏻😆 She had to ask us a couple of times to really get the ball rolling but the class became accustomed to it within the week.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It does. When you teach online, you also move less since you subconsciously try to keep yourself centered on your camera, so you get stiff and thus more tired. Moving yourself around (during breaks or while in sessions even) with shoulder shrugs, head rolls, head tilts, etc. will help.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a professor ask the students to incorporate emojis more in chat just so they could get some feedback. She had a lot of little jokes she peppered into her lectures and it really threw her off not hearing people’s chuckle or see a smile. It might help make your lectures more interactive if you ask your students to use 👎🏻👍🏻😆 She had to ask us a couple of times to really get the ball rolling but the class became accustomed to it within the week.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I hate teaching online. Pre-recorded lectures mean you get no interface with the audience - no visual cues to comprehension, no questions, not interaction. Online classroom sessions often result in really low engagement by many students, and it's impossible to walk around and see how people are getting on, challenge errors that you spot, etc. You can only see what they share, which often is very little. You can design around this somewhat, but if your university was anything like ours we were not given any resource to actually spend time re-writing our material for online format, so the opportunities to reformulate things were limited, and the module specifications/accreditations/assessment formats often have fixed requirements on what the skills and content to be covered are. If you can't write the module from scratch for an online format, the whole thing is harder work, less effective, and frankly soul crushing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a professor ask the students to incorporate emojis more in chat just so they could get some feedback. She had a lot of little jokes she peppered into her lectures and it really threw her off not hearing people’s chuckle or see a smile. It might help make your lectures more interactive if you ask your students to use 👎🏻👍🏻😆 She had to ask us a couple of times to really get the ball rolling but the class became accustomed to it within the week.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had a professor ask the students to incorporate emojis more in chat just so they could get some feedback. She had a lot of little jokes she peppered into her lectures and it really threw her off not hearing people’s chuckle or see a smile. It might help make your lectures more interactive if you ask your students to use 👎🏻👍🏻😆 She had to ask us a couple of times to really get the ball rolling but the class became accustomed to it within the week.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I read a study (I can probably find it if anyone wants) that argued the principal reason why Zoom is so much more exhausting is that your brain has to go into overdrive trying to read social cues on Zoom. The same article also argued that having to look at yourself plays a part in the psychological toll of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I read a study (I can probably find it if anyone wants) that argued the principal reason why Zoom is so much more exhausting is that your brain has to go into overdrive trying to read social cues on Zoom. The same article also argued that having to look at yourself plays a part in the psychological toll of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I started teaching online too and it is exhausting in the beginning but I have found that teaching online is flexible on my schedule. I also taught in person for a bit and honestly with this whole thing going on, there was a lot of constraints teaching in person. I've learnt a lot to protect my space during my teaching days. I lock the door and tell my roommates to keep it down for a few hours. After teaching, I go out my house, stretch and drink tea. I decompress almost immediately after class. Also, I don't schedule big things during my teaching days. Any tasks I'm doing I make sure it is not so important.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I started teaching online too and it is exhausting in the beginning but I have found that teaching online is flexible on my schedule. I also taught in person for a bit and honestly with this whole thing going on, there was a lot of constraints teaching in person. I've learnt a lot to protect my space during my teaching days. I lock the door and tell my roommates to keep it down for a few hours. After teaching, I go out my house, stretch and drink tea. I decompress almost immediately after class. Also, I don't schedule big things during my teaching days. Any tasks I'm doing I make sure it is not so important.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was working as a lecturer last year and I despised online classes and they were far more draining and stressful than on campus. I ended up quitting and have changed to private tuition and I LOVE doing that online.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I was working as a lecturer last year and I despised online classes and they were far more draining and stressful than on campus. I ended up quitting and have changed to private tuition and I LOVE doing that online.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you are using Zoom, take advantage of breakout room activities to give yourself short breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, so sick of Zoom.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you are using Zoom, take advantage of breakout room activities to give yourself short breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes and no. Synchronous teaching online IS exhausting because of sitting down, people turn their cameras off, and I feel exhausted just from feeling like I'm talking to myself. So, I went async and made videos, and that helped a lot. Teaching in person has its own challenges, mainly classroom management, which is also tiring. But when things go well, it's pretty energizing.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you are using Zoom, take advantage of breakout room activities to give yourself short breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I taught relatively small (24 students max) and interactive classes and I found teaching online less exhausting than in person. Besides the benefits of not having to ~~put on pants~~ leave the house, I also enjoyed the actual teaching more when I taught online. I required students to turn on their cameras during the Zoom sessions, and they actually participated more actively on average than in person. It seemed easier for them to ask questions, with the chat and raise hand funtion. Also, I loved the fact that since they couldn't tell who I was looking at, they just all acted like I was looking deep into their eyes the whole time ;) However, I imagine it would be way more energy-draining to teach a large lecture class online. The idea of talking to empty black boxes over an extended amount of time seems extremely depressing to me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you are using Zoom, take advantage of breakout room activities to give yourself short breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Does online teaching make you tired? I am a first time professor and while I taught a couple of classes in person before the pandemic, this is my first time teaching this many hours. I found that attending conferences online is much more energy draining if compared to attending them in person. I started teaching after earning my PhD in 2020, so you can imagine that I've only experienced online professoring for the time being. What I realized is that teaching for hours online is incredibly exhausting. Given what I experienced with conferences, I can imagine that if the similarity holds, teaching in person should be somewhat less exhausting. Is this true? Do you think that online teaching is more exhausting than in person teaching?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Online teaching is a whole different animal. The only way to avoid complete burnout for yourself and your students is to break things up *often*. Don't go on talking for more than 10-15 minutes – show a video, give the students group tasks in breakout rooms, or whatever. Change it around. That's the only way to make it liveable for you and your students.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are they comfortable giving a speech in front of one person, i.e. you? If so, start there. And perhaps gradually work up to a larger audience (maybe offer extra credit to students that will stay after class to watch the other student)? I'd say the goal with this student isn't to be on the level of other students by the end of the class, but to be better than where they started.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't teach speech. I do have some classes with presentation requirements. What works for most socially anxious students is to permit them to record themselves giving a presentation. I let the presentation assignments be known early in the semester, before the no-cost drop date. Good students with the disability can come up with solutions if they work with me. Of course I have some that just no-show and take a zero. I also let students know public speaking is something that I found impossible at first and it's still extremely unpleasant now that I'm pretty good at it. It's almost impossible to succeed in a career that reqs a college degree without some public speaking, and I wished I hadn't avoided it during my undergrad. For your class, you have to square the assessments with the expected student learning outcomes and course objectives. Is in-person delivery of a speech part of the objectives? Or is applying the concepts to create an effective presentation? You're the instructor of record so you need to make the call - just be sure it matches the SLOs and COs on your syllabus in case there's any pushback.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going to sound like the cruel old codger, but I'll say it anyway: student needs to withdraw from the course and take something else. My understanding of how anxiety disorders are viewed by mental health professionals: total avoidance is not a successful treatment strategy. If this is some kind of documented ADA scenario, exempting a single student from speaking in public in a public speaking course is unreasonable. Don't do it. It's also not your job to provide mental health therapy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Id recommend allowing for a smaller audience with this student. Could they do the first speech with just you present, the second with you and a couple of your colleagues or friends they invite, and the third with you and a smaller group of students in the class, like maybe a couple interested in extra credit? The idea here is to gradually desensitize the student to the anxiety of speaking publicly. Another suggestion is to recommend that the student start preparing the speech in advance, perhaps with your support as an instructor, to boost confidence. Edit: Just saw that SoupSoka made this suggestion of gradually increasing the audience size already. I agree with that redditor! Edit 2: I taught public speaking for a couple years, and those are the strategies that my department used with students who needed a little extra help with such an anxiety-inducing exercise.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is it permissible to allow your student to record their speech using video software on their own, and then play that video for the class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If you're in the US and the student has this documented as a disability with your school's office of disability services (or whatever their name is), that office should be working with you on accommodations.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I once had a student film her speech instead, but that isn't always relevant/sufficient of course. https://www.comm.pitt.edu/speech-anxiety", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going to sound like the cruel old codger, but I'll say it anyway: student needs to withdraw from the course and take something else. My understanding of how anxiety disorders are viewed by mental health professionals: total avoidance is not a successful treatment strategy. If this is some kind of documented ADA scenario, exempting a single student from speaking in public in a public speaking course is unreasonable. Don't do it. It's also not your job to provide mental health therapy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Id recommend allowing for a smaller audience with this student. Could they do the first speech with just you present, the second with you and a couple of your colleagues or friends they invite, and the third with you and a smaller group of students in the class, like maybe a couple interested in extra credit? The idea here is to gradually desensitize the student to the anxiety of speaking publicly. Another suggestion is to recommend that the student start preparing the speech in advance, perhaps with your support as an instructor, to boost confidence. Edit: Just saw that SoupSoka made this suggestion of gradually increasing the audience size already. I agree with that redditor! Edit 2: I taught public speaking for a couple years, and those are the strategies that my department used with students who needed a little extra help with such an anxiety-inducing exercise.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going to sound like the cruel old codger, but I'll say it anyway: student needs to withdraw from the course and take something else. My understanding of how anxiety disorders are viewed by mental health professionals: total avoidance is not a successful treatment strategy. If this is some kind of documented ADA scenario, exempting a single student from speaking in public in a public speaking course is unreasonable. Don't do it. It's also not your job to provide mental health therapy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is it permissible to allow your student to record their speech using video software on their own, and then play that video for the class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going to sound like the cruel old codger, but I'll say it anyway: student needs to withdraw from the course and take something else. My understanding of how anxiety disorders are viewed by mental health professionals: total avoidance is not a successful treatment strategy. If this is some kind of documented ADA scenario, exempting a single student from speaking in public in a public speaking course is unreasonable. Don't do it. It's also not your job to provide mental health therapy.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I once had a student film her speech instead, but that isn't always relevant/sufficient of course. https://www.comm.pitt.edu/speech-anxiety", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It kind of depends what course they are doing, is this a compulsory module? I remember as a science undergrad one girl was put through absolute hell having to present for every module, she nearly dropped out because of it. Looking back, it had absolutely no relevance to her career path and she became very successful without ever having to present again. Perhaps suggest alternatives, if they can deliver online then this might be easier for them. This day in age there is very rarely a meeting or presentation that can’t be delivered online in the working world. Unless it’s politics, but I suspect this student is never going to be a political idol anyway.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Id recommend allowing for a smaller audience with this student. Could they do the first speech with just you present, the second with you and a couple of your colleagues or friends they invite, and the third with you and a smaller group of students in the class, like maybe a couple interested in extra credit? The idea here is to gradually desensitize the student to the anxiety of speaking publicly. Another suggestion is to recommend that the student start preparing the speech in advance, perhaps with your support as an instructor, to boost confidence. Edit: Just saw that SoupSoka made this suggestion of gradually increasing the audience size already. I agree with that redditor! Edit 2: I taught public speaking for a couple years, and those are the strategies that my department used with students who needed a little extra help with such an anxiety-inducing exercise.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It kind of depends what course they are doing, is this a compulsory module? I remember as a science undergrad one girl was put through absolute hell having to present for every module, she nearly dropped out because of it. Looking back, it had absolutely no relevance to her career path and she became very successful without ever having to present again. Perhaps suggest alternatives, if they can deliver online then this might be easier for them. This day in age there is very rarely a meeting or presentation that can’t be delivered online in the working world. Unless it’s politics, but I suspect this student is never going to be a political idol anyway.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is it permissible to allow your student to record their speech using video software on their own, and then play that video for the class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It kind of depends what course they are doing, is this a compulsory module? I remember as a science undergrad one girl was put through absolute hell having to present for every module, she nearly dropped out because of it. Looking back, it had absolutely no relevance to her career path and she became very successful without ever having to present again. Perhaps suggest alternatives, if they can deliver online then this might be easier for them. This day in age there is very rarely a meeting or presentation that can’t be delivered online in the working world. Unless it’s politics, but I suspect this student is never going to be a political idol anyway.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I once had a student film her speech instead, but that isn't always relevant/sufficient of course. https://www.comm.pitt.edu/speech-anxiety", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It kind of depends what course they are doing, is this a compulsory module? I remember as a science undergrad one girl was put through absolute hell having to present for every module, she nearly dropped out because of it. Looking back, it had absolutely no relevance to her career path and she became very successful without ever having to present again. Perhaps suggest alternatives, if they can deliver online then this might be easier for them. This day in age there is very rarely a meeting or presentation that can’t be delivered online in the working world. Unless it’s politics, but I suspect this student is never going to be a political idol anyway.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Accept that this person is working with different personal milestones that may need to be accommodated, but that this is still an opportunity for them to improve (since they seem to be taking a course on it).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Id recommend allowing for a smaller audience with this student. Could they do the first speech with just you present, the second with you and a couple of your colleagues or friends they invite, and the third with you and a smaller group of students in the class, like maybe a couple interested in extra credit? The idea here is to gradually desensitize the student to the anxiety of speaking publicly. Another suggestion is to recommend that the student start preparing the speech in advance, perhaps with your support as an instructor, to boost confidence. Edit: Just saw that SoupSoka made this suggestion of gradually increasing the audience size already. I agree with that redditor! Edit 2: I taught public speaking for a couple years, and those are the strategies that my department used with students who needed a little extra help with such an anxiety-inducing exercise.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is it permissible to allow your student to record their speech using video software on their own, and then play that video for the class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does the student have accommodations? I would recommend asking that office, if they do have accommodations, what this looks like for this course. If the student does not have accommodations then they must do the assignments as everyone else (you can encourage them to reach out to the office that handles this to apply for accomodations)accommodations. Maybe have them start by creating a small speech about something they are passionate about. Have them record themselves presenting to a computer, then maybe to family, then maybe friends, then you, then you and a few other people, to build up to the whole class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I once had a student film her speech instead, but that isn't always relevant/sufficient of course. https://www.comm.pitt.edu/speech-anxiety", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Does the student have accommodations? I would recommend asking that office, if they do have accommodations, what this looks like for this course. If the student does not have accommodations then they must do the assignments as everyone else (you can encourage them to reach out to the office that handles this to apply for accomodations)accommodations. Maybe have them start by creating a small speech about something they are passionate about. Have them record themselves presenting to a computer, then maybe to family, then maybe friends, then you, then you and a few other people, to build up to the whole class?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Accept that this person is working with different personal milestones that may need to be accommodated, but that this is still an opportunity for them to improve (since they seem to be taking a course on it).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is there mental health support on campus? Maybe reach out to them and ask for guidance for how to help? Or accessible education? Big kudos to you for caring enough to ask btw. I was this kid a decade ago. The first time I tried public speaking, I just sat there and cried - my mouth wouldn’t make words. My anxiety was so bad. Now that I’ve had some help healing, I’m so assertive and honestly a loudmouth : ) One possibility, and I don’t know if you’re open to this, but can you maybe work with them to let them give a speech to an empty room a few times? Then maybe give the speech to you in an open room? Give it a few days between the two. Just to see how it feels. Exposure therapy involves gentle exposure that’s gradually increased - jumping in with a lot of people would be flooding and it’s too much. I’d def involve mental health support from your campus if it’s available, but if not maybe this will help? Edit: one more thing that helped me was hearing someone say that Obama was probably someone who struggled giving speeches at first, and who had to practice a lot. Something about the way he gives speeches. It made me feel way less alone and self conscious. I don’t know if it’s true though", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I once had a student film her speech instead, but that isn't always relevant/sufficient of course. https://www.comm.pitt.edu/speech-anxiety", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is there mental health support on campus? Maybe reach out to them and ask for guidance for how to help? Or accessible education? Big kudos to you for caring enough to ask btw. I was this kid a decade ago. The first time I tried public speaking, I just sat there and cried - my mouth wouldn’t make words. My anxiety was so bad. Now that I’ve had some help healing, I’m so assertive and honestly a loudmouth : ) One possibility, and I don’t know if you’re open to this, but can you maybe work with them to let them give a speech to an empty room a few times? Then maybe give the speech to you in an open room? Give it a few days between the two. Just to see how it feels. Exposure therapy involves gentle exposure that’s gradually increased - jumping in with a lot of people would be flooding and it’s too much. I’d def involve mental health support from your campus if it’s available, but if not maybe this will help? Edit: one more thing that helped me was hearing someone say that Obama was probably someone who struggled giving speeches at first, and who had to practice a lot. Something about the way he gives speeches. It made me feel way less alone and self conscious. I don’t know if it’s true though", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Accept that this person is working with different personal milestones that may need to be accommodated, but that this is still an opportunity for them to improve (since they seem to be taking a course on it).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had student once work with a tutor to practice the presentation and then do it for just me and their tutor. They still got instructor and peer feedback as the course intended.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Accept that this person is working with different personal milestones that may need to be accommodated, but that this is still an opportunity for them to improve (since they seem to be taking a course on it).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I had student once work with a tutor to practice the presentation and then do it for just me and their tutor. They still got instructor and peer feedback as the course intended.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Student with PSA I have a student who refuses to speak due to anxiety, which I can understand to an extent however this is a public speaking class and in order to pass you must give the required speeches. They’ve already taken the course with another professor and failed because they did not give the speeches. Any advice on how I can encourage the student to give their speeches so they can pass the class?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Is the student getting treatment? If so, perhaps you can make some accommodations (e.g., let them film their talk). If not (and perhaps even if so), the best way to overcome anxiety problems is to do the things that create the anxiety. Avoiding them only perpetuates the problems.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There's a strong culture in academia to tell people to \"bloom where they're planted\", and sort of subtlety chide people for not being grateful that they have one of those magical, answer to all your prayers tenure track jobs. (At one point in my life, I might have bought this line of thinking, at least in part, too.) I'm not sure I buy that now, though. At 31, you pretty much know what you're about, in a broad sense. Some things may change, but you're a big city single guy in a middle of nowhere college town where the big draw is \"It's a nice place to raise kids\". You may find your niche over time (maybe you'll find a church community you like, or get active volunteering at the local museum, etc.), but you shouldn't be afraid to look for jobs, yes, even non academic jobs, in places where you'd actually like to live. It's just a job, man. What you're doing when you're not at work, and who your doing it with, matters a lot more than what you do to earn a paycheck.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Get a really small, gas-sipping car, and do meet-ups in the closest city. You might also consider signing up for every professional seminar you can - gets you out of the house, and who knows?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I spent 10 years in a similar situation. Everybody told me to \"bloom where you're planted.\" I had great colleagues and terrific students, so that kept me going. I earned tenure while living in that suffocating college town. I traveled as much as possible, but it was always disappointing to have to go back there. And then, when a position in my subfield opened up at a university in a big city, I jumped. Best move I ever made. So my advice is to put your head down, work your ass off, publish publish publish, and then get out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Get a really small, gas-sipping car, and do meet-ups in the closest city. You might also consider signing up for every professional seminar you can - gets you out of the house, and who knows?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi there, congratulations on your first tenure track job! To address the food issue: 1. Once a month (maybe once every two months) do a big shop at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. 2. Check for local farm co-ops or farmer's markets. This is great way to get fresh organic produce, certain products like eggs, dairy and/or pasture raises meats. 3. Start a garden. If you have space, consider raising chickens for their eggs! 4. Talk with your students to see where they pick up their groceries or where their preferred hang outs for food out. 5. Learn to cook! It's not that hard! You'd be surprised how easy it is to ferment stuff like kimchi and miso or to make your own meat substitutes, if you are into that! 6. Talk with the staff at a restaurant! Many places are willing to accommodate! 7. Talk with the staff at the local grocery, I'm sure they would be happy to special order products that you can't get in the sticks! I can definitely advise you with the cooking/baking end; if need be, feel free to DM me. Another note: maybe consider organizing activities for students that engage arts and culture: cheese society, a cinema studies club, looking at works of art or artifacts and discussing them as group. Hit up the local library, maybe consider organizing something there for the community that might attract likeminded people!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Get a really small, gas-sipping car, and do meet-ups in the closest city. You might also consider signing up for every professional seminar you can - gets you out of the house, and who knows?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There’s really no good answer as I’m sure you’ve already concluded. You could “stick it out” for the next 5 years and throw yourself out into your research, build your CV, and apply for new positions in cities you want to be. But that will bring about unhealthy habits and if a family is something you want, then you’d be putting that on hold at an age where it becomes significantly more difficult to build one. Speaking from experience, I’ve lived in a small town for undergrad and then started my career in a small town after that (I’m now in a proper city, thank god) and overall it doesn’t usually get better. The best hope you have is to try out local meetups and other events, have a drink, and just have conversations with people. Even if nothing comes of it at least you’re building your social skills for when you do find people you mesh with. Typically in smaller towns people tend to get cliquey, and only chance to get in on it is by random meeting but it can be rewarding... but y’know could take years. Obviously adding COVID considerations exacerbate these problems. Oh and as I’m sure you’ve learned... app dating in small college towns is also shit both for your age group and if you’re looking for someone who isn’t into sports, fishing/hunting, double standards, unreasonable expectations, making you a step dad to their 3 kids, morbid obesity, or an immature barely 20 year old (that would probably raise ethical issues for your job)... then you’re shit out of luck", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apply for positions elsewhere... Consider it another postdoc ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "“Publish your way out”. I was in a similar region very recently (I was living in the “largest” “city” in the region with a population of around 30,000). Job was okay, life was easy a la Hallmark movie as you said. But if you were not into high school football and church-ing, there wasn’t anything to do. The university was small enough. I put teaching and service on auto-pilot, focused on a couple of fast-tracked research projects, and got out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There’s really no good answer as I’m sure you’ve already concluded. You could “stick it out” for the next 5 years and throw yourself out into your research, build your CV, and apply for new positions in cities you want to be. But that will bring about unhealthy habits and if a family is something you want, then you’d be putting that on hold at an age where it becomes significantly more difficult to build one. Speaking from experience, I’ve lived in a small town for undergrad and then started my career in a small town after that (I’m now in a proper city, thank god) and overall it doesn’t usually get better. The best hope you have is to try out local meetups and other events, have a drink, and just have conversations with people. Even if nothing comes of it at least you’re building your social skills for when you do find people you mesh with. Typically in smaller towns people tend to get cliquey, and only chance to get in on it is by random meeting but it can be rewarding... but y’know could take years. Obviously adding COVID considerations exacerbate these problems. Oh and as I’m sure you’ve learned... app dating in small college towns is also shit both for your age group and if you’re looking for someone who isn’t into sports, fishing/hunting, double standards, unreasonable expectations, making you a step dad to their 3 kids, morbid obesity, or an immature barely 20 year old (that would probably raise ethical issues for your job)... then you’re shit out of luck", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apply for positions elsewhere... Consider it another postdoc ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I searched for jobs, I limited the searches to only colleges and universities within a 20-mile radius of Whole Foods. Then I looked for an apartment 5 miles away from Whole Foods. Maybe you can borrow that criteria on your next job search since it seems important to you as well. It worked out well for myself. Good luck! Also, maybe there is a farmer's market or actual farms from where you can buy food. And then, I guess, you can go on vacation during all the school breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to express sympathy. When I was applying for jobs, my advisor said \"are you sure you want to apply to Cornell, you're single and it's Ithaca.\" (I did not end up at Cornell, though I did apply there. And not that it mattered, I'm still single anyway. :) )", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I definitely get it - was in a similar position for four years! My advice: DON’T wait until you’re tenured to apply for other jobs. Depending on your field, it may actually be a lot easier to get another assistant professor job, since postings at higher ranks can be rarer. Especially if you’re applying somewhere in a bigger city, or that you maybe have a clear connection to the area, absolutely no one will bat an eye at the idea of ‘why would this person apply for this job?’. Go for it. As far as what to do for now: making friends gets harder as we’re older, for real. And with Covid, that gets trickier. I was very lucky that I had my husband to move to that small town with me, and for those four years we talked about how much we had to ‘make our own fun’. Our friends were mostly other professors, and we would play board games, organize dinner parties, and hikes and such. It’s definitely about making the best of the situation you’re in, but also being comfortable knowing that it’s OK to apply right now for other places.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "work hard and try to to change whenever possible", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There’s really no good answer as I’m sure you’ve already concluded. You could “stick it out” for the next 5 years and throw yourself out into your research, build your CV, and apply for new positions in cities you want to be. But that will bring about unhealthy habits and if a family is something you want, then you’d be putting that on hold at an age where it becomes significantly more difficult to build one. Speaking from experience, I’ve lived in a small town for undergrad and then started my career in a small town after that (I’m now in a proper city, thank god) and overall it doesn’t usually get better. The best hope you have is to try out local meetups and other events, have a drink, and just have conversations with people. Even if nothing comes of it at least you’re building your social skills for when you do find people you mesh with. Typically in smaller towns people tend to get cliquey, and only chance to get in on it is by random meeting but it can be rewarding... but y’know could take years. Obviously adding COVID considerations exacerbate these problems. Oh and as I’m sure you’ve learned... app dating in small college towns is also shit both for your age group and if you’re looking for someone who isn’t into sports, fishing/hunting, double standards, unreasonable expectations, making you a step dad to their 3 kids, morbid obesity, or an immature barely 20 year old (that would probably raise ethical issues for your job)... then you’re shit out of luck", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apply for positions elsewhere... Consider it another postdoc ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is similar to my situation. I am 15 hours from home in a dry county and a tiny town. My SO is 3 hours away, but for the weekday day-to-day and weekends were not together it can be a struggle. What helped me a lot is I just started telling coworkers I was looking for people to hangout with. Luckily, that resulted in my dean inviting me to go out to to a farm to table brewery and restaurant the next county over one night. I ended up meeting like 10 people through that one hangout. Changed my situation a lot. Good luck, OP. It’ll get better. Edit: I am currently in the process of leaving this situation, but that’s due to my SO finding jobs together now that she’s done with her PhD too. If she had opportunity in our area we would consider staying. But her field has pockets that do what she wants and we have to go to those pockets.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There’s really no good answer as I’m sure you’ve already concluded. You could “stick it out” for the next 5 years and throw yourself out into your research, build your CV, and apply for new positions in cities you want to be. But that will bring about unhealthy habits and if a family is something you want, then you’d be putting that on hold at an age where it becomes significantly more difficult to build one. Speaking from experience, I’ve lived in a small town for undergrad and then started my career in a small town after that (I’m now in a proper city, thank god) and overall it doesn’t usually get better. The best hope you have is to try out local meetups and other events, have a drink, and just have conversations with people. Even if nothing comes of it at least you’re building your social skills for when you do find people you mesh with. Typically in smaller towns people tend to get cliquey, and only chance to get in on it is by random meeting but it can be rewarding... but y’know could take years. Obviously adding COVID considerations exacerbate these problems. Oh and as I’m sure you’ve learned... app dating in small college towns is also shit both for your age group and if you’re looking for someone who isn’t into sports, fishing/hunting, double standards, unreasonable expectations, making you a step dad to their 3 kids, morbid obesity, or an immature barely 20 year old (that would probably raise ethical issues for your job)... then you’re shit out of luck", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apply for positions elsewhere... Consider it another postdoc ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you open to sharing where you live? I know that's a risk online, but there tends to be a lot more in most towns than people think. I lived in rural PA for 5 years and it was only at the end that I found some awesome stuff such as gaming groups and local theater, that I had no idea about. My suggestion is to do a ton of googling on Reddit, Facebook, etc because there might be stuff you don't know about. As for the place in a better town, would you consider getting a \"crashpad\" somewhere? My friends who are flight attendants or truckers often have an apartment they share with way too many people to live comfortably, but since they are all only there sometimes, it tends to workout that half the roommates aren't there at the same time. So it saves money, but the issue is sometimes it's crowded.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Apply for positions elsewhere... Consider it another postdoc ;)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I searched for jobs, I limited the searches to only colleges and universities within a 20-mile radius of Whole Foods. Then I looked for an apartment 5 miles away from Whole Foods. Maybe you can borrow that criteria on your next job search since it seems important to you as well. It worked out well for myself. Good luck! Also, maybe there is a farmer's market or actual farms from where you can buy food. And then, I guess, you can go on vacation during all the school breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to express sympathy. When I was applying for jobs, my advisor said \"are you sure you want to apply to Cornell, you're single and it's Ithaca.\" (I did not end up at Cornell, though I did apply there. And not that it mattered, I'm still single anyway. :) )", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to embrace the local culture and history. There's probably much more there you'll enjoy than you realize right now. I grew up in one of the largest cities in the US on the east coast and have been living in a town of only 800-ish on the complete opposite side of the country for a while now. It took a bit of time but I have grown to love my tiny town and the local history. Force yourself to try something you don't think you'll enjoy and you may be pleasantly surprised. I attended a local rib cook-off one summer on a whim and I'm now a complete BBQ nerd with a tasty hobby I've been perfecting at the pleasure of my tastebuds. I know it's difficult to relocate but it's not all that bad if you give it time. Best wishes to you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I’m from one of those areas. My advice is to make friends with the local LGBTQ folks. They’ve likely found the environment stifling as well and sought each other out. Of course if you don’t identify as lgbtq you don’t want to pretend you do. Or try to go to a club on goth night?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "work hard and try to to change whenever possible", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I searched for jobs, I limited the searches to only colleges and universities within a 20-mile radius of Whole Foods. Then I looked for an apartment 5 miles away from Whole Foods. Maybe you can borrow that criteria on your next job search since it seems important to you as well. It worked out well for myself. Good luck! Also, maybe there is a farmer's market or actual farms from where you can buy food. And then, I guess, you can go on vacation during all the school breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When I searched for jobs, I limited the searches to only colleges and universities within a 20-mile radius of Whole Foods. Then I looked for an apartment 5 miles away from Whole Foods. Maybe you can borrow that criteria on your next job search since it seems important to you as well. It worked out well for myself. Good luck! Also, maybe there is a farmer's market or actual farms from where you can buy food. And then, I guess, you can go on vacation during all the school breaks.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't have any good advice, but just wanted to express sympathy. When I was applying for jobs, my advisor said \"are you sure you want to apply to Cornell, you're single and it's Ithaca.\" (I did not end up at Cornell, though I did apply there. And not that it mattered, I'm still single anyway. :) )", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I refused to move to the middle of nowhere for similar reasons.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn’t really like where I moved 10ish years ago. Then I decided to randomly take up a new hobby (horseback riding) and started trying new things from there. You may not have to stay where you are for a long time, but you can change your perspective a bit while you are there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Been there sort of. In your situation, I would try to find other junior professors (likely to be single) from all disciplines and organize happy hours or dinners. Invite everyone to your home. Eventually you will become good friends with them. I actually did this at one time. I still treasure those friendships.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn’t really like where I moved 10ish years ago. Then I decided to randomly take up a new hobby (horseback riding) and started trying new things from there. You may not have to stay where you are for a long time, but you can change your perspective a bit while you are there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to embrace the local culture and history. There's probably much more there you'll enjoy than you realize right now. I grew up in one of the largest cities in the US on the east coast and have been living in a town of only 800-ish on the complete opposite side of the country for a while now. It took a bit of time but I have grown to love my tiny town and the local history. Force yourself to try something you don't think you'll enjoy and you may be pleasantly surprised. I attended a local rib cook-off one summer on a whim and I'm now a complete BBQ nerd with a tasty hobby I've been perfecting at the pleasure of my tastebuds. I know it's difficult to relocate but it's not all that bad if you give it time. Best wishes to you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn’t really like where I moved 10ish years ago. Then I decided to randomly take up a new hobby (horseback riding) and started trying new things from there. You may not have to stay where you are for a long time, but you can change your perspective a bit while you are there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn’t really like where I moved 10ish years ago. Then I decided to randomly take up a new hobby (horseback riding) and started trying new things from there. You may not have to stay where you are for a long time, but you can change your perspective a bit while you are there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "work hard and try to to change whenever possible", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Been there sort of. In your situation, I would try to find other junior professors (likely to be single) from all disciplines and organize happy hours or dinners. Invite everyone to your home. Eventually you will become good friends with them. I actually did this at one time. I still treasure those friendships.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You need to embrace the local culture and history. There's probably much more there you'll enjoy than you realize right now. I grew up in one of the largest cities in the US on the east coast and have been living in a town of only 800-ish on the complete opposite side of the country for a while now. It took a bit of time but I have grown to love my tiny town and the local history. Force yourself to try something you don't think you'll enjoy and you may be pleasantly surprised. I attended a local rib cook-off one summer on a whim and I'm now a complete BBQ nerd with a tasty hobby I've been perfecting at the pleasure of my tastebuds. I know it's difficult to relocate but it's not all that bad if you give it time. Best wishes to you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Been there sort of. In your situation, I would try to find other junior professors (likely to be single) from all disciplines and organize happy hours or dinners. Invite everyone to your home. Eventually you will become good friends with them. I actually did this at one time. I still treasure those friendships.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Pretty cool that they even have museums, you get a chance to check em out? Could be cool to get really acquainted with some niche history. Idk how your relationship status / aim is but perhaps you could use dating apps to find someone for social activities. Good luck!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Been there sort of. In your situation, I would try to find other junior professors (likely to be single) from all disciplines and organize happy hours or dinners. Invite everyone to your home. Eventually you will become good friends with them. I actually did this at one time. I still treasure those friendships.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "31M Asst. Professor struggling with recent move to small college town This August, I began my first tenure-track job. I am from a large coastal urban area in the USA, but my job is at a regional state university located in a college town. This town is located 21 hours from home and 5 hours from the nearest large city. The nearest Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (aka basic needs) are 2 hours away! I like my job, but I'm really having trouble with the town. My friends back home describe me as a friendly and outgoing person, yet it is hard for me to make friends here. No one is mean; I'm just having trouble finding people I vibe with. I attribute this to two factors: 1. I'm single (the town is very family-focused). 2. I'm just not that into the activities that are popular here (i.e., sports, church, and the outdoors). There aren't even activities I would enjoy doing alone here. I'm a big foodie (the restaurants here are all about meat, meat, and more meat); I enjoy going to museums (the museums here are extremely small and regionally-focused); and I LOVE shopping (this town has little more than Walmart & Target). So, as you can see, I'm really out of my element. I love to travel, and I'm willing to take on pretty much any city. However, I've never wanted to live anywhere other than a large city, and now I find myself in a town straight out of a Hallmark movie. Has anyone else found themselves in this situation? If yes, what did you do about it? I thought about getting a second small place so I could spend the weekend in the small/mid-sized city with Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (and a lot more to do than my college town), but my salary won't allow it. :( Thanks for your input! :)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "work hard and try to to change whenever possible", "role": "assistant" } ]