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euclaise
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WritingPrompts_binarized

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Split (1)

train · 353k rows

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What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	She walked in with confidence and her head held serene like some marvelous goddess. Confident, her shoulders pulled back and her chin level to the ground she looked me in the eye and I felt like she thought I was her equal. She seemed to emit an air of royalty and you knew she was better than you, with the way she looked into you it showed that she could genuinely respect you. In long flowing dresses and a small coat that covered her modesty with gem-stoned slippers -peaking beneath her every swaying step - she addresses the room in a clear and confident tone that left no room for another opinion, but hers and yet you felt that your opinion had never been different from hers at all.	They are always envious (easy to guess now). They are at home with nature and enjoy getting lost in the woods.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	It's gotta be blue. Like real blue, not some plastic painted neon blue, but real. Almost the essence of; when the sky fades from bright at the horizon to deep, and dark, and vast at its apex. That blue. The kind that resides just under the sunlit shimmering surface of a lake. I feel weightless in its depths; just floating. Her hair is like the little swirls of current that brush over me with rays of light scattering off its curls.	They are always envious (easy to guess now). They are at home with nature and enjoy getting lost in the woods.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	They are always envious (easy to guess now). They are at home with nature and enjoy getting lost in the woods.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	They are always envious (easy to guess now). They are at home with nature and enjoy getting lost in the woods.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	He strolls along in the beautiful nightlife of the social event, he is the talk of the town. Many think that he is a sign of bad things to come but others find him sexy and intriguing. He comes dressed as sharply as a man can look, his eyes are both warm as the sun and as dark as a Russian winter. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a drink, he can feel the eyes upon him. Women and men gazing at him hoping to get a feel for his intent, why should he tell them the answers when the mystery is so much better than the fact. He tips the bartender enough to cover his whole night before walking out just as causally as he walked in. His journey took him down an alley way, he could feel his favorite friends moving about in his shadow. Several people gathered around him and smiled, they were the outcasts of society. No different to the high society of the bar he left but treated differently because they didn't look or act as beautifully outside of his shadow. He turned to them and raise a hand, "My friends, I'll always accept you even when I'm not here." The man chuckled as he left the alley way, the sun was rising and his influence was fading, he watched as a similarly dressed woman stood before his path. "These summer nights..... Are so boring but I guess it's your turn soon. It's a shame they love you more." The sharply dressed man said before the woman gave him a simple peck on the cheek. "They may love me more but they only seek rest and comfort when your around. See you at Dusk." She smirked as the man vanished the moment the bright yellow rays of the sun touched his body.	They are always envious (easy to guess now). They are at home with nature and enjoy getting lost in the woods.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	She walked in with confidence and her head held serene like some marvelous goddess. Confident, her shoulders pulled back and her chin level to the ground she looked me in the eye and I felt like she thought I was her equal. She seemed to emit an air of royalty and you knew she was better than you, with the way she looked into you it showed that she could genuinely respect you. In long flowing dresses and a small coat that covered her modesty with gem-stoned slippers -peaking beneath her every swaying step - she addresses the room in a clear and confident tone that left no room for another opinion, but hers and yet you felt that your opinion had never been different from hers at all.	There she is again. happy, bright, She's wearing a T-shit with print of the forest. it fit's her, she makes me think of the woods. Bright and light but also dangerous. She looked lively, happy. "Hello Eldis!" I smile. I am happy she's back, the winter was long without her. The dark and depressed guy, who used to rule here, hides away in the shadows now she's back. It is her time now, and she will give the scepter to the silent and wise girl standing next to the pumpkin-flavored pies. She and HER are friends, they fit nicely. I? I am always present. Not everyone sees it, but still. I am just one shade, not a big one. But still, I've got 1/4th of a fandom adoring me, together with my best friend, standing next to the school awards. I walk up to her, we chat, both happy that Winter is gone. (guess the colours!)
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	It's gotta be blue. Like real blue, not some plastic painted neon blue, but real. Almost the essence of; when the sky fades from bright at the horizon to deep, and dark, and vast at its apex. That blue. The kind that resides just under the sunlit shimmering surface of a lake. I feel weightless in its depths; just floating. Her hair is like the little swirls of current that brush over me with rays of light scattering off its curls.	There she is again. happy, bright, She's wearing a T-shit with print of the forest. it fit's her, she makes me think of the woods. Bright and light but also dangerous. She looked lively, happy. "Hello Eldis!" I smile. I am happy she's back, the winter was long without her. The dark and depressed guy, who used to rule here, hides away in the shadows now she's back. It is her time now, and she will give the scepter to the silent and wise girl standing next to the pumpkin-flavored pies. She and HER are friends, they fit nicely. I? I am always present. Not everyone sees it, but still. I am just one shade, not a big one. But still, I've got 1/4th of a fandom adoring me, together with my best friend, standing next to the school awards. I walk up to her, we chat, both happy that Winter is gone. (guess the colours!)
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	There she is again. happy, bright, She's wearing a T-shit with print of the forest. it fit's her, she makes me think of the woods. Bright and light but also dangerous. She looked lively, happy. "Hello Eldis!" I smile. I am happy she's back, the winter was long without her. The dark and depressed guy, who used to rule here, hides away in the shadows now she's back. It is her time now, and she will give the scepter to the silent and wise girl standing next to the pumpkin-flavored pies. She and HER are friends, they fit nicely. I? I am always present. Not everyone sees it, but still. I am just one shade, not a big one. But still, I've got 1/4th of a fandom adoring me, together with my best friend, standing next to the school awards. I walk up to her, we chat, both happy that Winter is gone. (guess the colours!)
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	There she is again. happy, bright, She's wearing a T-shit with print of the forest. it fit's her, she makes me think of the woods. Bright and light but also dangerous. She looked lively, happy. "Hello Eldis!" I smile. I am happy she's back, the winter was long without her. The dark and depressed guy, who used to rule here, hides away in the shadows now she's back. It is her time now, and she will give the scepter to the silent and wise girl standing next to the pumpkin-flavored pies. She and HER are friends, they fit nicely. I? I am always present. Not everyone sees it, but still. I am just one shade, not a big one. But still, I've got 1/4th of a fandom adoring me, together with my best friend, standing next to the school awards. I walk up to her, we chat, both happy that Winter is gone. (guess the colours!)
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	He strolls along in the beautiful nightlife of the social event, he is the talk of the town. Many think that he is a sign of bad things to come but others find him sexy and intriguing. He comes dressed as sharply as a man can look, his eyes are both warm as the sun and as dark as a Russian winter. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a drink, he can feel the eyes upon him. Women and men gazing at him hoping to get a feel for his intent, why should he tell them the answers when the mystery is so much better than the fact. He tips the bartender enough to cover his whole night before walking out just as causally as he walked in. His journey took him down an alley way, he could feel his favorite friends moving about in his shadow. Several people gathered around him and smiled, they were the outcasts of society. No different to the high society of the bar he left but treated differently because they didn't look or act as beautifully outside of his shadow. He turned to them and raise a hand, "My friends, I'll always accept you even when I'm not here." The man chuckled as he left the alley way, the sun was rising and his influence was fading, he watched as a similarly dressed woman stood before his path. "These summer nights..... Are so boring but I guess it's your turn soon. It's a shame they love you more." The sharply dressed man said before the woman gave him a simple peck on the cheek. "They may love me more but they only seek rest and comfort when your around. See you at Dusk." She smirked as the man vanished the moment the bright yellow rays of the sun touched his body.	There she is again. happy, bright, She's wearing a T-shit with print of the forest. it fit's her, she makes me think of the woods. Bright and light but also dangerous. She looked lively, happy. "Hello Eldis!" I smile. I am happy she's back, the winter was long without her. The dark and depressed guy, who used to rule here, hides away in the shadows now she's back. It is her time now, and she will give the scepter to the silent and wise girl standing next to the pumpkin-flavored pies. She and HER are friends, they fit nicely. I? I am always present. Not everyone sees it, but still. I am just one shade, not a big one. But still, I've got 1/4th of a fandom adoring me, together with my best friend, standing next to the school awards. I walk up to her, we chat, both happy that Winter is gone. (guess the colours!)
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	The first time I met him I was taken aback by his enormity and seemingly wild nature, but after forcing myself to spend a bit time with him, I knew I could always rely on him. Some may fear his appearence as I first did, but he is really just a calm giant with a very gentle and mellow soul, that does mean no harm. His character always cheers me up and listening to him for a while makes everything else occur to be utterly unimportant. He is really neither lazy nor overly busy and his tranquility calms down even the wildest fears and angers. I just wish I could meet him again for the first time.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	The first time I met him I was taken aback by his enormity and seemingly wild nature, but after forcing myself to spend a bit time with him, I knew I could always rely on him. Some may fear his appearence as I first did, but he is really just a calm giant with a very gentle and mellow soul, that does mean no harm. His character always cheers me up and listening to him for a while makes everything else occur to be utterly unimportant. He is really neither lazy nor overly busy and his tranquility calms down even the wildest fears and angers. I just wish I could meet him again for the first time.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	As far back as I can remember, he's always dressed better than me. Meticulous, precise, everything cut to fit him perfectly. His face is always freshly-shaven, his hair looks like he just walked out of the salon, and his skin is as bright and clear as a lightly-tanned porcelain doll. He turns heads wherever he goes, but never notices. His apartment is sparsely decorated with simple, modernist furniture. He has a tv and computer, but I've never seen him use them. Usually, he's in a corner with a book or typing something on his antique typewriter. I usually do most of the talking when we're together. I'm never totally sure if he's listening, but he assures me that he does. When he does chime in, he somehow manages to bring the conversation to another level. We could start out by talking about the latest episode of "Broad City", which turns into gentrification, which turns into the ongoing class struggle. He always encourages me to dig deeper into a topic, to fully understand it. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him smile. Not once.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	As far back as I can remember, he's always dressed better than me. Meticulous, precise, everything cut to fit him perfectly. His face is always freshly-shaven, his hair looks like he just walked out of the salon, and his skin is as bright and clear as a lightly-tanned porcelain doll. He turns heads wherever he goes, but never notices. His apartment is sparsely decorated with simple, modernist furniture. He has a tv and computer, but I've never seen him use them. Usually, he's in a corner with a book or typing something on his antique typewriter. I usually do most of the talking when we're together. I'm never totally sure if he's listening, but he assures me that he does. When he does chime in, he somehow manages to bring the conversation to another level. We could start out by talking about the latest episode of "Broad City", which turns into gentrification, which turns into the ongoing class struggle. He always encourages me to dig deeper into a topic, to fully understand it. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him smile. Not once.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	its green. . . shit!
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	its green. . . shit!
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	He is the extreme. He lives the way a man should and that is to the absolute fullest. He rages longer, cries harder, laughs louder, and parties harder than any other would dare. Why? Because that is the true goal in life. What would be the purpose if he just let it pass? No, his radiance will light up the world.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	He is the extreme. He lives the way a man should and that is to the absolute fullest. He rages longer, cries harder, laughs louder, and parties harder than any other would dare. Why? Because that is the true goal in life. What would be the purpose if he just let it pass? No, his radiance will light up the world.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	I couldn't pick one favourite colour so I did a couple: - I see her walking through the shade of the trees. She's always been one for bare feet, and today is no exception. She wears a flowing dress, not quite reaching her feet. It snags on twigs and bushes frequently, and is dirty, but she doesn't mind. She's never truly minded anything. Her face, as always, appears relaxed to nearly the point of being asleep, a small smile on her face as it tilts towards the sun. She stops in a clearing, basking in the warmth, and I hear her sigh of contentment. - He moves swiftly, smoothly, nodding at people as he does so. Although his motion never stops, he frequently exchanges a few words with those he passes, greeting them as though they were age-old friends. His eyes, a deep hue, crinkle at the edges from years of laughter, yet his smile always seems like it's hiding just out of sight. As long as I've known him, he has always seemed content, but only just. What he reaches for, he can't have. - Sometimes she snaps, sometimes she laughs. Her advance is inexorable, unstoppable, yet slow, as if she's not sure of her destination. She pushes to get what she wants, but meeting resistance confuses her. While her exterior is intimidating, dressed up in layers of her own protection, the right attitude easily melts her, revealing the startlingly bright inner side.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	I couldn't pick one favourite colour so I did a couple: - I see her walking through the shade of the trees. She's always been one for bare feet, and today is no exception. She wears a flowing dress, not quite reaching her feet. It snags on twigs and bushes frequently, and is dirty, but she doesn't mind. She's never truly minded anything. Her face, as always, appears relaxed to nearly the point of being asleep, a small smile on her face as it tilts towards the sun. She stops in a clearing, basking in the warmth, and I hear her sigh of contentment. - He moves swiftly, smoothly, nodding at people as he does so. Although his motion never stops, he frequently exchanges a few words with those he passes, greeting them as though they were age-old friends. His eyes, a deep hue, crinkle at the edges from years of laughter, yet his smile always seems like it's hiding just out of sight. As long as I've known him, he has always seemed content, but only just. What he reaches for, he can't have. - Sometimes she snaps, sometimes she laughs. Her advance is inexorable, unstoppable, yet slow, as if she's not sure of her destination. She pushes to get what she wants, but meeting resistance confuses her. While her exterior is intimidating, dressed up in layers of her own protection, the right attitude easily melts her, revealing the startlingly bright inner side.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Police keep arresting him.	Calm cool and collected. Always taking it slow and thinking before speaking. A Lot of self reflection that some times leads to to depression.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	People are unaware of their attraction to her. Her allure affects men and women the same. She is lively and fun and slightly mysterious. Yet, she also has a darker side of gore and death. No matter, no one is scared, they have been drawn in by her overwhelming beauty. She represents love and horror at the same time. And no one knows which is which.	Calm cool and collected. Always taking it slow and thinking before speaking. A Lot of self reflection that some times leads to to depression.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	Collab w/ my 9yo daughter: One quiet spring morning, he went out to the field a couple of streets away from his house, to pick flowers for his mother. He wanted to give them to her on St. Patrick's day, along with the key lime pie that he'd made the day before. Suddenly a tiger (someone else's color friend no doubt) ate him.	She holds her head high as she boldly walks in the fading light of day. In her eyes a deep wisdom can be found past down from generation to generation. Regalness plays in here smile. Her embrace is warm and inviting to all. Yet in all this it is royalty who pursues her.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	He strolls along in the beautiful nightlife of the social event, he is the talk of the town. Many think that he is a sign of bad things to come but others find him sexy and intriguing. He comes dressed as sharply as a man can look, his eyes are both warm as the sun and as dark as a Russian winter. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a drink, he can feel the eyes upon him. Women and men gazing at him hoping to get a feel for his intent, why should he tell them the answers when the mystery is so much better than the fact. He tips the bartender enough to cover his whole night before walking out just as causally as he walked in. His journey took him down an alley way, he could feel his favorite friends moving about in his shadow. Several people gathered around him and smiled, they were the outcasts of society. No different to the high society of the bar he left but treated differently because they didn't look or act as beautifully outside of his shadow. He turned to them and raise a hand, "My friends, I'll always accept you even when I'm not here." The man chuckled as he left the alley way, the sun was rising and his influence was fading, he watched as a similarly dressed woman stood before his path. "These summer nights..... Are so boring but I guess it's your turn soon. It's a shame they love you more." The sharply dressed man said before the woman gave him a simple peck on the cheek. "They may love me more but they only seek rest and comfort when your around. See you at Dusk." She smirked as the man vanished the moment the bright yellow rays of the sun touched his body.	She holds her head high as she boldly walks in the fading light of day. In her eyes a deep wisdom can be found past down from generation to generation. Regalness plays in here smile. Her embrace is warm and inviting to all. Yet in all this it is royalty who pursues her.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	She was always a cute girl with the way her loosely pinned back blonde curls glistened in the summer sun. You could always find her longboarding through ocean mist and the shade of the palm trees. She comes off cool and collected, but has a strut that makes you realize she's hiding years of daddy-issues behind that smile.	She holds her head high as she boldly walks in the fading light of day. In her eyes a deep wisdom can be found past down from generation to generation. Regalness plays in here smile. Her embrace is warm and inviting to all. Yet in all this it is royalty who pursues her.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	He strolls along in the beautiful nightlife of the social event, he is the talk of the town. Many think that he is a sign of bad things to come but others find him sexy and intriguing. He comes dressed as sharply as a man can look, his eyes are both warm as the sun and as dark as a Russian winter. He takes a seat at the bar and orders a drink, he can feel the eyes upon him. Women and men gazing at him hoping to get a feel for his intent, why should he tell them the answers when the mystery is so much better than the fact. He tips the bartender enough to cover his whole night before walking out just as causally as he walked in. His journey took him down an alley way, he could feel his favorite friends moving about in his shadow. Several people gathered around him and smiled, they were the outcasts of society. No different to the high society of the bar he left but treated differently because they didn't look or act as beautifully outside of his shadow. He turned to them and raise a hand, "My friends, I'll always accept you even when I'm not here." The man chuckled as he left the alley way, the sun was rising and his influence was fading, he watched as a similarly dressed woman stood before his path. "These summer nights..... Are so boring but I guess it's your turn soon. It's a shame they love you more." The sharply dressed man said before the woman gave him a simple peck on the cheek. "They may love me more but they only seek rest and comfort when your around. See you at Dusk." She smirked as the man vanished the moment the bright yellow rays of the sun touched his body.	I love her. She was overly passionate about everything. The way she glided from room to room, swaying back and forth so elegantly, her dress accentuating her beautiful dance. The way she smiled, overflowing with warmth and happiness. The way she coyly, almost seductively, scans the room with a fox-like gaze for someone interesting. She commanded attention and the spotlight, effortlessly, everywhere she went. Captivating the hearts and minds of anyone who were to simply watch her be. I'll always love her.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	She is summer, light and airy. She does not run hot yet can still be vibrant and energetic. She floats on a light breeze while grazing the trees and hills. Her voice is soft and pleasant. It caresses your ears as you rest. When you close your eyes she is there to help you relax and feel at ease. _______________ Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this check out my subreddit /r/Puns_are_Lazy.	He's a pretty bland guy honestly, likes to read the news in the morning. He comes to work wearing a buttoned up shirt and a blazer, he is always impeccable with time, never drinks or accepts our invites to party. A real stand up guy really, quite the shame his personality is as deep as the messages in pop songs. His sense of humor is limited to the most cookie cutter of jokes, I guess one could describe it as dry and I would have to agree to the statement. At least I know he will always be around, at his desk doing his thing, no matter how monotonous.
What are they like? How do they dress? Etc.	[WP] Without naming it, describe your favorite color as a person.	She was always a cute girl with the way her loosely pinned back blonde curls glistened in the summer sun. You could always find her longboarding through ocean mist and the shade of the palm trees. She comes off cool and collected, but has a strut that makes you realize she's hiding years of daddy-issues behind that smile.	He's a pretty bland guy honestly, likes to read the news in the morning. He comes to work wearing a buttoned up shirt and a blazer, he is always impeccable with time, never drinks or accepts our invites to party. A real stand up guy really, quite the shame his personality is as deep as the messages in pop songs. His sense of humor is limited to the most cookie cutter of jokes, I guess one could describe it as dry and I would have to agree to the statement. At least I know he will always be around, at his desk doing his thing, no matter how monotonous.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	(this is the first response i've wrote so it might not be the best) "See you in 3 months!" I shouted back at my friends before leaving the bar. I would have left later if I could have, but today was a special day. It was the day where the entire populace of the UK would enter an artificial slumber for the next three months. When the prime minister first talked about hibernation on the news back in 2015, everyone thought of it as a piece of rubbish. Even I did. That was until my college brought in a government scientist to give us a long-winded explanation about energy, economics and life expectancy. Long story short, the country was running out of energy sources, and fast. Apparently the only solution was to place the entire country into hibernation capsules. Buzz! I picked up my phone - mum calling. "Hi darling! I'm waiting for you in the parking lot! The council called and said the hibernation men will be round at 3pm so we need to get home!". Argh! Every time the hibernation day comes round mum comes and picks me up, but I said I'd drive home myself this time round. "I'll be there in a moment.." "Ok, bye!" I wandered over the parking lot glancing at my surroundings as I walked towards my mother's car. This was the last of the high street I was going to see for a while. A thin layer of powdery snow covered the ground and buildings. It was a while since it had snowed in the heart of Edinburgh. 'It's a shame I won't be awake for it...' I thought, as I opened the car door. "Hi, son! How were your friends?" "Good". I paused. "Mum, why exactly do we have to hibernate? I mean, a bunch of scientists came into college today but they didn't really..." "So we can save energy, I think" "But there's lots of oil in the north sea that Scotland could use, isn't there?" "The parliament has to think about the rest of the UK too, you know" "I thought the Scottish parliament had autonomy..." "Don't you remember the results of the last referendum?" "Shit. Now I remember." Twice had the Scottish people rejected their independence, the second time the margin was even smaller when I voted. Even though my father was English, I always felt a stronger connection to Scotland for some reason. Maybe it was to do with living in Scotland during the holidays before we moved back here, or the fact that I spent more time with my mother when I was younger, when my father was out working could have been it. Regardless, I was all for independence. About half a decade ago, in 2017, hibernation capsules started to be manufactured for the UK. The technology was fairly rudimentary at the time, but by the time it was released to the public, it was far more advanced than anyone thought. The first time I hibernated, I was nervous. Now, not so much. I love technology, and once drifting into an artificial sleep every December became a regularity, I got used to it. Even though I have my own apartment, it's a tradition for me to spend the hibernation with my parents. That's why every year I stay out late as possible with my friends and my mother comes to pick me up. My mum turned on the radio as we turned on to the road leading to the village we lived in. It was the last news broadcast before 'the big sleep' as the media put it. Nothing new... just the same headlines from yesterday: "Middle Eastern conflict coming to an end claims US president", Massive 10 car pileup in the south of England-2 dead" and "Scientists confirm oil is located under..." Mum turned off the radio. "We're home!" And it was just in time, too. The men from the council representing the hibernation company, I think it was called "Solcom" , had arrived at our house. For someone who was supposed to be from the local council, they were immaculately dressed. Both men wore tidy suits, one grey, one black. I found this odd, seeing as last year, only one man came round, and he was a plump, scruffy looking engineer from Aberdeen, and wasn't as nearly smart looking. The taller one spoke out. "Are you Mrs. Stuart?" "Yes." "We're here to assist you and the rest of the street into entering hibernation." "Okay. Come in" We led the men to where our capsules were. Since we got the house renovated, it was hard to find space to keep the capsules. We ended up putting them in the garage as the rest of the house, including the attic was full of junk. As usual, the garage was dank and cold, with no shortage of cobwebs. I thought by this time of year, all the spiders would have cleared out, but obviously not. The three hibernation capsules were lined up in a neat row, ready for us to get in. My dad was working abroad that year, so his capsule would remain empty. My mother called from the kitchen "I'll be back in a bit, I'm just going to take the cat to the cattery. It would probably be best if you got in your capsule while I'm gone". I headed for my capsule while the men booted up the house mainframe computer. Even though they were busy staring at a screen, I felt their gaze on the back of my head. I touched the open pad on my capsules screen, only to be greeted with a grinding noise. Stuck. Not the first time the door has been jammed. The tall man speaks out again "that doesn't sound too good" "No, it doesn't" the shorter man replied "try your father's capsule instead and we'll see if we can fix yours before your mother comes back". I lay down into my dad's capsule while the men set about inputting various commands into the capsule computer. Relaxing music started to play, [along with the noise of various computer parts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3UK9RYf28c), and I started to ease up. As the door closed to the outside world, and the capsule pressurized, I heard the tall man say something to me: "Just relax and breathe". He smiled at me before everything faded to black. I woke up with a start, and a searing pain in my left leg. I was still half asleep, but I figured that the men forgot to change the amount of energy fluid that was being pumped into my body and I believed I was receiving what would have been my father's dose. My mind was cloudy. There's no way I could get to sleep now if I tried. I decided to get up, I thought there might be a spare packet of Horlicks floating around in one of the kitchen cupboards that could help me drift off again. I pressed the awake button, only to find out that , like my capsule, the door had jammed. "It probably had something to do with the garage being so cold" I thought. I sighed, and commanded the capsule to open up. "Command: Emergency release" "Command denied. You are not permitted to re-emerge without official permission" a robotic voice informed. I sighed again. "Command: Emergency override" "Command denied. Emergency overrides are not permitted without official permission. Please wait for assistance". The capsule attempted to contact the nearest repair terminal, which was about 5 miles away. "Bugger" I muttered. I remembered reading about some sort of emergency access panel that the manufacturers shut off. I thought that that would probably be my only chance of escaping. I fiddled around for ages with various cables and switches but to no avail. The robotic voice boomed "Caution! Tampering has been detected!". I felt the air get thicker and thicker. It was trying to sedate me! I started to bash the sides of the capsule, when a cover popped open. I leaned over to my left to see what was in it- the emergency panel! I smashed the buttons as hard as I could and, before I knew it, the door swung open. Pitch black. I felt around the wall until I came across light switch. Nothing. The power was out. I shuffled around the wall some more before I came to the door of the garage. "If I can remember, the mains box is to the...". Lights! I could finally see. Everything in the garage looked normal, my mother was in her capsule like I expected. But what caused me to wake up? I shuffled back over to my capsule, still half asleep. "Computer, time?" "It is 10:01 am on the 5th of January 2031" it replied. I'd woken up far too early. "Run system diagnostics" I commanded. "Running... One error found." "Present information" "Information as follows: Error encountered today at 9:58am. Error code 245-33E-UIJ: unable to sustain sufficient air circulation". Well, that made sense. The computer interrupted my thought "would you like to catch up on recent news while you're waiting for assistance?" "Sure" "Command not recognized: I sighed. "Yes" Just as the news came on, I heard a knock at the front door. "Mr. Stuart? You'll need to come with us. Mr. STUART?! He's not opening up sir, should I break down the door?". I panicked. I took a glance at the screen. News headline: 'England drains Scotland of oil'. Then I heard a crash. They'd got in.	Hiss, Click The status chamber door swings open and you slowly wake up stumbling to your feet. Glancing out the artificial window showed it was still winter. The plummeting temperature's and the wild winter beasts made it simply easier and cheaper to hibernate. Waking up though, that was new. Computers broke all the time, you reassure yourself stepping back into the status chamber but the door wont lock and the internal screens are black... "Gonna have to find an empty machine" you mutter to yourself walking swiftly to the end of the hall giving only a glance to your loved ones in there chambers. Reaching the end of the hall you gaze down to scan the floors below you, seeing row upon row of status chambers all illuminated with a green 'occupied' light. No luck. "Perhaps higher ground will show a empty chamber" you mutter to no one and advance to the upper floors, here the chambers where different they where probably reserved for the rich or something. The top floor yields no empty chambers and is filled with something else entirely, status pods, large units that could easily fit an elephant that seemed to shake when approached all flashing red warning lights. Gazing into one pod you see a creature, something that looks like someone took darkness and snow and smashed them together and then animated the result. The creature twitched at your approach and the red light quickened its flashing and CRACK hardly a blink and the creature whipped up and cracked the pod, darting towards you again and again. in shock you forget yourself and stumble back into another pod setting off another creature. Sweating now your brain kicks in you need to find a chamber. Now. Unfortunately you never made it to a chamber. All that was found when they looked for you was an empty chamber, two empty pods and a trail of snowflakes.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	The hibernation law made sense, I suppose, but it was frustrating to be locked away from your loved ones for half of the year. I'm not one of those 'half-life' conspiracy theorists that kept bounding around wild accusations that humans lived twice as long before the freeze. They couldn't know for sure anyway, the freeze had been going on for generations. The freeze was a normal part of life, the history of it taught to the children as they progressed through school in the form of a nursery rhyme. I could still remember the tune now, although at twenty one, I wasn't the still the same little girl that I was then. &nbsp; The air grows warm and its time to slee-eep, Now shut your eyes and don't you pee-eep, The summers long but we can live throu-ough, And in the winter they'll come to wake you-ou, Now sometimes we know that it might fa-il, And then those people will be rejoiced in ta-les, &nbsp; The heroes that died so that we could live, Our eternal thanks we must always give, &nbsp; And the engineers that suffer so-oh, That work all summer so that we may go-oh, And the administrators that work through-out, Those are the heroes that we sing ab-out, And we rejoice in their dear sacrifi-ice, To save our souls until the blessed i-iice, &nbsp; But now our song grows silent and still, And we sleep and dream of the future ideal. &nbsp; I found that I was humming the song as I walked along, pleasantly surprised to see that the crowd around me had picked it up and were humming along too. I took another step forward in the long queue to the individual freezer pod that would be my home for the next 6 months. The song was also a sad reminder of the risks of freezing, with pod failures being more and more common each year. The rumour still persisted that the pods that failed most often were young women and girls, often between 12 and 25 half-cycles in age. I refused to worry about that though, that's what the engineers were for, working tirelessly whilst we slept to ensure that the pods were sustained. The Administrators too, checking and dealing with the problems that must invariably come in the dreaded summer. There were other rumours of course, more believable yet, that said that whole freeze sections had failed over the last few years. These sections tended to be the poorer sections of community and even though the engineers cited constant communications problems as the reason for no contact, the people were growing suspicious. A large glowing door broke my train of thought. I had arrived at my pod. I stepped in and saw the measurements and readouts appear on the inside of the rapidly closing door, measuring weight and height, body fat ratios, skin, hair and eye colour, all perfectly correct as always. I looked out of the window in the door, feeling the pod start its cooling cycle and the subtle shift as it was pulled away from the walkway into the facility to make room for another pod to be filled. I shut my eyes just in time, not wanting to be frozen with them open, and missed the look on the face of the nearby administrator, hurriedly talking into a communicator. The look if I had seen it would have confused and frightened me. Excitement. Pure excitement, reminiscent of a tiger stalking its kill. &nbsp; The noise of the door opening was the first thing I heard, knowing from experience that I would be unable to move for at least a minute or two. I could hear voices, but this soon after a freezing I wouldn't expect to understand what they were saying anyway. I felt a hand reach out and stroke my face, the warmth almost burning after the cold of the Freezer. The hand dropped down, away, onto my breast and then down further to my groin. I started to panic and the words finally made themselves clear in my head. "This one is perfect, have her sent to my quarters immediately" the voice said in an elegance that belied its coldness, "and have the others we've selected sent to the dukes and bishops" he continued "the king will be down to select his own packages personally I should think". Another voice murmured its assent and started to pull me out of the tube. I struggled to open my eyes, the lids still frozen shut. I managed to make a tiny crack and caught the image of the man walking away down the corridor in his smart administrator's suit. He turned just for a second allowing me to see a flash of his face. "Oh and don't forget to have the engineers declare all of these accidents" he said with a devilish smile.	Hiss, Click The status chamber door swings open and you slowly wake up stumbling to your feet. Glancing out the artificial window showed it was still winter. The plummeting temperature's and the wild winter beasts made it simply easier and cheaper to hibernate. Waking up though, that was new. Computers broke all the time, you reassure yourself stepping back into the status chamber but the door wont lock and the internal screens are black... "Gonna have to find an empty machine" you mutter to yourself walking swiftly to the end of the hall giving only a glance to your loved ones in there chambers. Reaching the end of the hall you gaze down to scan the floors below you, seeing row upon row of status chambers all illuminated with a green 'occupied' light. No luck. "Perhaps higher ground will show a empty chamber" you mutter to no one and advance to the upper floors, here the chambers where different they where probably reserved for the rich or something. The top floor yields no empty chambers and is filled with something else entirely, status pods, large units that could easily fit an elephant that seemed to shake when approached all flashing red warning lights. Gazing into one pod you see a creature, something that looks like someone took darkness and snow and smashed them together and then animated the result. The creature twitched at your approach and the red light quickened its flashing and CRACK hardly a blink and the creature whipped up and cracked the pod, darting towards you again and again. in shock you forget yourself and stumble back into another pod setting off another creature. Sweating now your brain kicks in you need to find a chamber. Now. Unfortunately you never made it to a chamber. All that was found when they looked for you was an empty chamber, two empty pods and a trail of snowflakes.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	Dear diary, I just woke up halfway the hibernation. When I went outside I found out why the government forced us to sleep, what they didn't want us to see. The war on drugs is a cover-up. There's cocaine EVERYWHERE!	Hiss, Click The status chamber door swings open and you slowly wake up stumbling to your feet. Glancing out the artificial window showed it was still winter. The plummeting temperature's and the wild winter beasts made it simply easier and cheaper to hibernate. Waking up though, that was new. Computers broke all the time, you reassure yourself stepping back into the status chamber but the door wont lock and the internal screens are black... "Gonna have to find an empty machine" you mutter to yourself walking swiftly to the end of the hall giving only a glance to your loved ones in there chambers. Reaching the end of the hall you gaze down to scan the floors below you, seeing row upon row of status chambers all illuminated with a green 'occupied' light. No luck. "Perhaps higher ground will show a empty chamber" you mutter to no one and advance to the upper floors, here the chambers where different they where probably reserved for the rich or something. The top floor yields no empty chambers and is filled with something else entirely, status pods, large units that could easily fit an elephant that seemed to shake when approached all flashing red warning lights. Gazing into one pod you see a creature, something that looks like someone took darkness and snow and smashed them together and then animated the result. The creature twitched at your approach and the red light quickened its flashing and CRACK hardly a blink and the creature whipped up and cracked the pod, darting towards you again and again. in shock you forget yourself and stumble back into another pod setting off another creature. Sweating now your brain kicks in you need to find a chamber. Now. Unfortunately you never made it to a chamber. All that was found when they looked for you was an empty chamber, two empty pods and a trail of snowflakes.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	I woke up, yawned, and took a stare, for hibernation was finally over. But that couldn't be, I felt cold air, and I saw no spring clovers. The freezing white and winter's woes had yet to cease to be, My furry face and freezing toes, gave proof enough for me. “But why is it” I asked myself, “That I’ve awoken now? “And more than that, what is the deal? Why does Jack Frost pull us down?” I stared in the darkness, contemplating life, I never had a stable job, nor a loving wife. I never owned a fancy house or had kids of my own, No legacy to speak about, nothing special to be shown. I was an okay hunter, for whatever that was worth, But even then, in my group of friends, I was still by far the worst. I decided from that point on that I’d do something that would inspire awe, But looking around, it was pitch black, I couldn’t even see my paw. I tried to wake the others but I couldn’t move a hair, and in the end I realized that I didn’t really care. The answers to my questions were as apparent as a deer. After all, how could I forget I’m just a stupid bear.	Hiss, Click The status chamber door swings open and you slowly wake up stumbling to your feet. Glancing out the artificial window showed it was still winter. The plummeting temperature's and the wild winter beasts made it simply easier and cheaper to hibernate. Waking up though, that was new. Computers broke all the time, you reassure yourself stepping back into the status chamber but the door wont lock and the internal screens are black... "Gonna have to find an empty machine" you mutter to yourself walking swiftly to the end of the hall giving only a glance to your loved ones in there chambers. Reaching the end of the hall you gaze down to scan the floors below you, seeing row upon row of status chambers all illuminated with a green 'occupied' light. No luck. "Perhaps higher ground will show a empty chamber" you mutter to no one and advance to the upper floors, here the chambers where different they where probably reserved for the rich or something. The top floor yields no empty chambers and is filled with something else entirely, status pods, large units that could easily fit an elephant that seemed to shake when approached all flashing red warning lights. Gazing into one pod you see a creature, something that looks like someone took darkness and snow and smashed them together and then animated the result. The creature twitched at your approach and the red light quickened its flashing and CRACK hardly a blink and the creature whipped up and cracked the pod, darting towards you again and again. in shock you forget yourself and stumble back into another pod setting off another creature. Sweating now your brain kicks in you need to find a chamber. Now. Unfortunately you never made it to a chamber. All that was found when they looked for you was an empty chamber, two empty pods and a trail of snowflakes.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	The law came into effect ten years ago. Five years ago, they began enforcing it, and made hibernation machines available to the public at no cost. They claimed it was due to rapidly dropping temperatures - making life in the winter impossible, unless you were in stasis - only a skeleton crew remained active during that time, buried deep in heated bunkers, close to the Earth's core. Too cold to survive. As I glanced around the empty streets, I realized they were right. Shit.	As the sun gleaned through the window, Olanna rolled over and opened her eyes. She blinked, bringing her hands up guard her face. "That sun's so bright" thought Olanna as she sat up. She looked around and then looked at the clock on the desk. 9:37 AM 2 Jan. Olanna spun around to look at the head of her bed where the large canopy that looked like a hairdresser's dryer blinked a red light. She kneeled and dragged her finger over the control panel, trying to find a reset button or a signal to get a technician to come help. She blinked and blinked and wiped her eyes. Her head felt light. "That machine is strong," she thought. Too woozy to read, but too restless to stay in bed, she got up and walked down the hall towards the kitchen, stretching and scratching all the way there. It was there that she first truly looked out the window. She could barely remember what winter looks like since the hibernation law was passed 17 years ago. Outside, the sky was a piercing blue, and a light dusting of snow covered the small backyard, picnic table, and twin maple trees she planted 2 years ago. She looked over into her neighbors' backyard and saw their swing set at rest, tucked in to a blue tarp, dusted with snow, some leaves that were never raked up, and the t-ball post in the middle of the yard. While brewing tea, she looked through the directory to find the contact number for hibernation machine repair. She found nothing. Maybe this wasn't supposed to happen. The kettle whistled and she poured the water into a cup. She held the cup in both hands, squeezing her shoulders up, finally feeling in touch enough with her body to detect how cold it is when you're not under the hibernation machine. She walked to the front of the house and looked out the bay window at the neighborhood. All the houses, like cookies from a cutter, were single story, with the door towards the right side of the house, a single door garage to the left of that, and a bay window that sticks out of the front of the house just enough to let you creep on neighbor's farther down the street than normal windows allow. "The road's plowed" thought Olanna. She knew some government people and medical persons did not hibernate, but surely they did not bother plowing with just a few people driving about. She sipped her tea. Her body shook at the sensation of ingestion, something it was not planning on experiencing for another month and a half. She sipped again and finally tasted the nice honey flavors in the tea. She kept looking out the window, enjoying the view, enjoying the quiet. It felt as if she started hibernation yesterday, but it was almost two months ago! As her eyes bounced from house to house to tea mug to house, she began to notice hints of little footprints in the pathways from doors to driveways. She saw that Miriam's house and Gretchen and Aaron's house had the little markings, but Joe's and Eric and Thom's did not. "Why their houses?" She looked farther down the road and saw that Jennifer and Alan's house had the markings, but Silvana's house did not. As she thought about what separated the houses, she looked down at her own path and saw no little markings. "Children!" she muttered out, her voice not responding too well from the months of disuse. "Those houses have kids." She looked back up and down the street, remembering that Joe had a daughter, "but she's at University." A chill ran up her spine as she imagined the children walking out of the house. "I need to call the police," she thought as she turned to find the phone. Just then, a large truck, like a truck used to transport money between banks, came down the road. She heard it whine to a halt in front of Miriam's house. turning around, she saw a little boy get out of the back of the truck along with two men in white lab coats. The two men looked up and down the boy. "Julio. That's Julio!" Olanna tried to say, realizing it was Miriam's son. She watched as the white coated men turned around and grabbed another boy from the back of the truck. He was dirty, thin, unkempt, and in distress. "Julio? she thought, wondering if that faded, worn down soul could be him. "Then who is that?" The tall, polished Julio grabbed the straggling boy from the two men. He bent his head back and clamped his teeth into the scraggly boy's throat and ripped it out. He chewed and bit more, pulling more and more away from the throat of the boy until his head and shoulders were detached. Olanna's tea spilled over her mug as her hands shook. Just then, the upright boy spoke: "Voice acquisition is complete. You may move on to the next house. Thank you." The two white coated men took the corpse and the head and threw them in the back of the truck. Julio walked back up the path and into his house. The two men drove slightly farther down the road and three girls of different ages got out of the back of the truck in front of Gretchen and Aaron's house. "Their daughters?" The same process of throat evisceration took place, as three struggling girls were brought out one at a time. Olanna watched the truck drive down to Jennifer and Alan's house as the three girls walked inside their house. She spun around and sat down on the bay window seat. Her mouth hung open, her eyes rarely blinked. She shook her head side to side. "Did I ever do that?" she thought, remembering that she was just 6 when the Hibernation law was enacted. She got up and walked over to a mirror. Her dark smooth skin was tight around her strong cheek bones. Her hair was still braided tight on her head. She looked down at her fingernails, white and pink. She looked back up and met her eyes in the mirror. It was then that she notice her right eye was slightly less open than her left. She leaned in and pulled the eyelid back. She saw a hint of dark blue and stumbled back, dropping her tea mug to the floor. She looked again, pulling back her eyelid to see a solid blue mass above her eye, where it should have been pink. Her other eye was fine. Just as she sat down, tears streaming down her face as her body ached in confusion, the door was broken down and in walked a tall, strong woman wearing a bright yellow trench coat. In her hand, she held an object that looked like a TV remote. Olanna recognized that the woman was Dr. Flyer, her gynecologist. "Dr. Flyer?" Olanna began to ask. Before she could finish, Dr. Flyer spoke, "How many times do I need to keep resetting your stupid machine?!" Dr. Flyer pressed a button on the remote and aimed it at Olanna. ---- As the sun gleaned through the window, Olanna rolled over and opened her eyes. She blinked, bringing her hands up guard her face. "That sun's so bright" thought Olanna as she sat up. She looked around and then looked at the clock on the desk. 10:12 AM 7 Jan.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	"Unit 5712 GG 3434 - good morning." Electronic words, spoken by an almost, but not quite, human voice. My eyes flickered open. The usual tinfoil taste of Somnia lay on my tongue. My familiar sleep chamber wall stared back at me, including the words "nighty night" I'd written in permanent marker during my second Hibernation Cycle. I reached down to scratch myself - fingertips brushing the condom catheter an instant before I remembered it. Amber light slowly increased as I lay there for the next fifteen minutes, feeling the air of the chamber warm up. Eight cycles, and it was still a nuisance. "Would you care for Re-Emergence tips?" "No," I snapped. I'd heard it all many times. And I'd never followed the official recommendations anyway. Fuck the lukewarm shower, fuck the ten minutes of jumping jacks and jogging in place. All I wanted was some joe and a cigarette. Maybe some toast, and not the hideous packet of gruel they said was "easy for a Sleeper to digest" for your first meal upon waking. "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027," the voice finally continued, a sign that the chamber would open soon. I peed a dribble as it spoke, releasing the leftover Somnia into the waste system. As usual, I wasn't hungry, but I felt like I could drink gallons of coffee. Juice. Water. Anything liquid, really. "The time is nine-fifteen. Would you like Summary?" I ran my tongue over my teeth in contemplation. "Sure, what the fuck," I finally croaked. My voice was raspy, vocal chords disused to anything beyond my snoring (a problem that had contributed to my divorce nine years prior). "Answer unrecognized. Would you like Summary?" "Yes," I groaned, as the chamber locks snapped open. There was a barely audible, high pitched whine as the lid of my plastic sarcophagus slowly lifted away, letting in more low amber light from my bedroom. The voice prattled on, through my ceiling speakers, about world affairs, as I got to my feet, removed the catheter, closed the chamber, and stumbled to the kitchen. It wasn't the worst Hibernation Hangover I'd had - that had been my third cycle. This one had just left me groggy, with a mild taste of drugs in my mouth, and a weird cramp that came and went in my left thigh. World events hadn't changed much. The war in the Middle East was still winding down. Colonists on Mars Station Beta were still struggling along, with a couple new deaths, but making it, blah blah blah. I wasn't awake enough to really process any of it. I never was until I had my coffee. My kitchen, although lit by the same (slowly brightening) amber glow, had its usual thin film of dust. Checking the fridge showed everything I'd expected. You had to prepare for the Hibernation, and that included tossing anything that would spoil or rot in the fridge while you snoozed away from October to March. No cream. No milk. I'd just take my brew black, then. As usual, on the first morning. The voice continued a litany of news stories I'd missed, none of which had any impact on me directly. I put grounds in the filter, poured water, hit the button. Yawning and stretching, I rubbed the cramp away when it twinged in my thigh once more. Brown coffee smell flooded the kitchen as I flexed every bit of patience I had. Once enough for a full cup had dripped down, I yanked the carafe out and filled said cup. Delicious. Even without cream. Or milk. "Pause," I finally said after a few more swallows. The lights had brightened in my kitchen, almost to full strength. "Unit: Forecast." "The forecast today is." Nothing beyond that. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Unit: Status check?" "Unit is online and operational. 36.2% system resources used." Okay, so it hadn't locked up, which had been my suspicion. My home system, as all others, had been manufactured and installed by the Federal Somnus Initiative Department. And like many hundreds of others, it had been prone to lockups and fatal errors from day one. Rebooting meant walking to the control panel back in the bedroom and hoping that a handful of restarts and error reports would get the goddamn thing back up and running. It sometimes had given me shivers to think that this piece of government equipment was all that kept me alive during Somnus. "Unit: Forecast?" "The forecast today is." I balanced the idea that my Unit needed maintenance from a lowest-bidding contractor goon, and just writing it off as a glitch that would take care of itself. The latter won out. My shuttered kitchen window was two feet away. "Unit, continue Summary," I ordered, while reaching for the window. "November seven - Sources close to the White House confirm that the next New Christmas will occur on April fifteenth, 2027..." I pulled back the blinds. When I first wake, even from a regular sleep, it takes me half an hour for my brain to really get in gear. So when I stared out the window, part of me wondered if I was still asleep. If this was a dream. But no, that couldn't be. You didn't dream while your blood was full of Somnia. I sat there naked, and eventually put my cup down. It rattled as the base of it met my countertop. The view outside was dark as midnight, and there was snow falling. Lots of snow. A small drift, two inches high, had accumulated on the sill. I could also see the neighboring apartments. They were dark. Nobody else was Waking. "Unit," I interrupted. "Date and time?" "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027. The time is nine-twenty-nine." "The fuck it is," I muttered in shock. Snow in Houston? In March? Not impossible, no, but far from fucking likely. And this wasn't a case of cloud cover. The night - and yes, I realized it was nighttime - was pitch black. That was when I heard someone open my front door. "Unit," I said, as I pulled open a drawer. "Identify intruder." No good. I was naked in the kitchen with a drawer full of spatulas and wooden spoons, as well as one pitiful egg whisk. Right. My knives were in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen island. "Command unrecognized." "Unit, contact police!" I barked, pulling my longest carving knife out of the other drawer. Adrenaline tried to fight the leftover Somnia in my system, whch was an awful feeling that I don't recommend. "Belay code 16-PQ," a gruff male voice said behind me. I whirled, knife at ready in my shaking hand. "Copy," my Unit responded. He was tall. At least eight inches taller than me, dressed in a black trench coat, white button down shirt, and slacks. He was in his fifties, and looked a little bit like a car salesman I'd seen on television - thick and burly, with a big fake smile on his face. Smiling like he hadn't just walked into a stranger's house and found them naked, pointing a knife at them. "Who the fuck are you?" I croaked at him, brandishing my weapon in what I hoped was a threatening gesture. "Hold on," he chuckled. "You're Royce, right? Royce Petersen? Tax ID code 5712 GG 3434?" "Ye.. who the..?" I tried to figure out a good, imposing response, something that would keep him over there and away from me. "I'm Brian," he said. Then he pulled out a small gun and shot me. Everything went black.	As the sun gleaned through the window, Olanna rolled over and opened her eyes. She blinked, bringing her hands up guard her face. "That sun's so bright" thought Olanna as she sat up. She looked around and then looked at the clock on the desk. 9:37 AM 2 Jan. Olanna spun around to look at the head of her bed where the large canopy that looked like a hairdresser's dryer blinked a red light. She kneeled and dragged her finger over the control panel, trying to find a reset button or a signal to get a technician to come help. She blinked and blinked and wiped her eyes. Her head felt light. "That machine is strong," she thought. Too woozy to read, but too restless to stay in bed, she got up and walked down the hall towards the kitchen, stretching and scratching all the way there. It was there that she first truly looked out the window. She could barely remember what winter looks like since the hibernation law was passed 17 years ago. Outside, the sky was a piercing blue, and a light dusting of snow covered the small backyard, picnic table, and twin maple trees she planted 2 years ago. She looked over into her neighbors' backyard and saw their swing set at rest, tucked in to a blue tarp, dusted with snow, some leaves that were never raked up, and the t-ball post in the middle of the yard. While brewing tea, she looked through the directory to find the contact number for hibernation machine repair. She found nothing. Maybe this wasn't supposed to happen. The kettle whistled and she poured the water into a cup. She held the cup in both hands, squeezing her shoulders up, finally feeling in touch enough with her body to detect how cold it is when you're not under the hibernation machine. She walked to the front of the house and looked out the bay window at the neighborhood. All the houses, like cookies from a cutter, were single story, with the door towards the right side of the house, a single door garage to the left of that, and a bay window that sticks out of the front of the house just enough to let you creep on neighbor's farther down the street than normal windows allow. "The road's plowed" thought Olanna. She knew some government people and medical persons did not hibernate, but surely they did not bother plowing with just a few people driving about. She sipped her tea. Her body shook at the sensation of ingestion, something it was not planning on experiencing for another month and a half. She sipped again and finally tasted the nice honey flavors in the tea. She kept looking out the window, enjoying the view, enjoying the quiet. It felt as if she started hibernation yesterday, but it was almost two months ago! As her eyes bounced from house to house to tea mug to house, she began to notice hints of little footprints in the pathways from doors to driveways. She saw that Miriam's house and Gretchen and Aaron's house had the little markings, but Joe's and Eric and Thom's did not. "Why their houses?" She looked farther down the road and saw that Jennifer and Alan's house had the markings, but Silvana's house did not. As she thought about what separated the houses, she looked down at her own path and saw no little markings. "Children!" she muttered out, her voice not responding too well from the months of disuse. "Those houses have kids." She looked back up and down the street, remembering that Joe had a daughter, "but she's at University." A chill ran up her spine as she imagined the children walking out of the house. "I need to call the police," she thought as she turned to find the phone. Just then, a large truck, like a truck used to transport money between banks, came down the road. She heard it whine to a halt in front of Miriam's house. turning around, she saw a little boy get out of the back of the truck along with two men in white lab coats. The two men looked up and down the boy. "Julio. That's Julio!" Olanna tried to say, realizing it was Miriam's son. She watched as the white coated men turned around and grabbed another boy from the back of the truck. He was dirty, thin, unkempt, and in distress. "Julio? she thought, wondering if that faded, worn down soul could be him. "Then who is that?" The tall, polished Julio grabbed the straggling boy from the two men. He bent his head back and clamped his teeth into the scraggly boy's throat and ripped it out. He chewed and bit more, pulling more and more away from the throat of the boy until his head and shoulders were detached. Olanna's tea spilled over her mug as her hands shook. Just then, the upright boy spoke: "Voice acquisition is complete. You may move on to the next house. Thank you." The two white coated men took the corpse and the head and threw them in the back of the truck. Julio walked back up the path and into his house. The two men drove slightly farther down the road and three girls of different ages got out of the back of the truck in front of Gretchen and Aaron's house. "Their daughters?" The same process of throat evisceration took place, as three struggling girls were brought out one at a time. Olanna watched the truck drive down to Jennifer and Alan's house as the three girls walked inside their house. She spun around and sat down on the bay window seat. Her mouth hung open, her eyes rarely blinked. She shook her head side to side. "Did I ever do that?" she thought, remembering that she was just 6 when the Hibernation law was enacted. She got up and walked over to a mirror. Her dark smooth skin was tight around her strong cheek bones. Her hair was still braided tight on her head. She looked down at her fingernails, white and pink. She looked back up and met her eyes in the mirror. It was then that she notice her right eye was slightly less open than her left. She leaned in and pulled the eyelid back. She saw a hint of dark blue and stumbled back, dropping her tea mug to the floor. She looked again, pulling back her eyelid to see a solid blue mass above her eye, where it should have been pink. Her other eye was fine. Just as she sat down, tears streaming down her face as her body ached in confusion, the door was broken down and in walked a tall, strong woman wearing a bright yellow trench coat. In her hand, she held an object that looked like a TV remote. Olanna recognized that the woman was Dr. Flyer, her gynecologist. "Dr. Flyer?" Olanna began to ask. Before she could finish, Dr. Flyer spoke, "How many times do I need to keep resetting your stupid machine?!" Dr. Flyer pressed a button on the remote and aimed it at Olanna. ---- As the sun gleaned through the window, Olanna rolled over and opened her eyes. She blinked, bringing her hands up guard her face. "That sun's so bright" thought Olanna as she sat up. She looked around and then looked at the clock on the desk. 10:12 AM 7 Jan.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	The law came into effect ten years ago. Five years ago, they began enforcing it, and made hibernation machines available to the public at no cost. They claimed it was due to rapidly dropping temperatures - making life in the winter impossible, unless you were in stasis - only a skeleton crew remained active during that time, buried deep in heated bunkers, close to the Earth's core. Too cold to survive. As I glanced around the empty streets, I realized they were right. Shit.	"Time to go to sleep" announced the loudspeakers. It was a cold and dark evening. Winter was approaching. Pat Rick was sitting in his incubation tube at the National Sleeping Facility in Detroit. Millions of incubation tubes were around him. The building was enormous; a 100 story tall facility that was 40 miles wide. The entirety of the United States congregated every November to the NSF to sleep. Nine hundred thirty six years ago the American government had declared that citizens had to undergo mandatory hibernation in the wintertime. The reasons of hibernating was long forgotten by the general populace. It was simply a way of life. Pat Rick looked at the clock. The time was 11:59:59:99. As the hour struck midnight, millions of incubation tubes closed simultaneously and the United States drifted into a deep slumber. ... ... ... "Good morning Pat Rick". Pat Rick was ripped away from his sleep. He felt his consciousness return to his body. Something wasn't right. The facility was still dark. The only lights in the room was the soft faint glow of every tube. "Bing Now. What day is it today" said Pat Rick to his smartphone. "The day is December 25th, 3056". replied his smart watch. "DECEMBER? That's not good" thought Pat Rick. Pat Rick opened his tube and walked around for a bit. He observed everyone still sleeping. The collective soft humming of each tube made for a strange atmosphere. "How strange" thought Pat Rick. "Am I the only one awake?". But then there was movement out of the corner of his eye. Whatever it was moved quickly. "WHO'S THERE" shouted Pat Rick. Silence. Freaked out, Pat Rick got on his motor skateboard and made a beeline to the exit. However, he never made it to the exit. Something grabbed Pat Rick by the legs. He turned around and looked at the grabber. It was a service robot. "We have a winner!" exclaimed the robot. "What the-" said Pat Rick, but he was cut off because all the lights in the facility turned on. The President of the United States of America was standing before Pat Rick. She was looking half dead, like she had prolonged her life through hibernation or something. "Nine hundred thirty six years" said the President. "It has taken us this long to find someone who has developed an immunity to the sleep technologies of Santa Claus". "Excuse me?" replied Pat Rick. As it turns out, 936 years ago Santa Claus said "Screw it" and gave up delivering gifts. Now instead Santa Claus appeared every winter and made all the other countries go to sleep forever. They didn't die, just go to sleep. How did we not notice that all the other countries were dead? Turns out the reason we closed off all connection to the outside war wasn't because of the looming threat of nuclear war. "You must go and defeat Santa Claus". Then the President died because of old age and happiness that she found someone who had developed a resistance to Santa's sleep attacks. ... ... ... Pat Rick was brought outside. He stood there alone in a desolate world. The howl of the empty world was deafening. "HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS". The roar exploded all the windows of the NSF. The ground exploded in front of Pat Rick as something landed in front of him. It was Santa. Glorious beard and all. Pat Rick pointed his gun at the demon but then was instantly put into a slumber. Turns out he hadn't developed a resistance to the Sleep powers at all. It was a computer glitch. A mistake. Because the president was released from her tube, nobody would be waking up any longer. It was assumed that if the president had awaken, the savior had been found and that the person would activate the release codes which would wake up the remaining humans from sleep. Whoever designed that program needs to be fired. Wow. And so the world lay barren. A meteor hit Earth and exploded everything. The end.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	"Unit 5712 GG 3434 - good morning." Electronic words, spoken by an almost, but not quite, human voice. My eyes flickered open. The usual tinfoil taste of Somnia lay on my tongue. My familiar sleep chamber wall stared back at me, including the words "nighty night" I'd written in permanent marker during my second Hibernation Cycle. I reached down to scratch myself - fingertips brushing the condom catheter an instant before I remembered it. Amber light slowly increased as I lay there for the next fifteen minutes, feeling the air of the chamber warm up. Eight cycles, and it was still a nuisance. "Would you care for Re-Emergence tips?" "No," I snapped. I'd heard it all many times. And I'd never followed the official recommendations anyway. Fuck the lukewarm shower, fuck the ten minutes of jumping jacks and jogging in place. All I wanted was some joe and a cigarette. Maybe some toast, and not the hideous packet of gruel they said was "easy for a Sleeper to digest" for your first meal upon waking. "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027," the voice finally continued, a sign that the chamber would open soon. I peed a dribble as it spoke, releasing the leftover Somnia into the waste system. As usual, I wasn't hungry, but I felt like I could drink gallons of coffee. Juice. Water. Anything liquid, really. "The time is nine-fifteen. Would you like Summary?" I ran my tongue over my teeth in contemplation. "Sure, what the fuck," I finally croaked. My voice was raspy, vocal chords disused to anything beyond my snoring (a problem that had contributed to my divorce nine years prior). "Answer unrecognized. Would you like Summary?" "Yes," I groaned, as the chamber locks snapped open. There was a barely audible, high pitched whine as the lid of my plastic sarcophagus slowly lifted away, letting in more low amber light from my bedroom. The voice prattled on, through my ceiling speakers, about world affairs, as I got to my feet, removed the catheter, closed the chamber, and stumbled to the kitchen. It wasn't the worst Hibernation Hangover I'd had - that had been my third cycle. This one had just left me groggy, with a mild taste of drugs in my mouth, and a weird cramp that came and went in my left thigh. World events hadn't changed much. The war in the Middle East was still winding down. Colonists on Mars Station Beta were still struggling along, with a couple new deaths, but making it, blah blah blah. I wasn't awake enough to really process any of it. I never was until I had my coffee. My kitchen, although lit by the same (slowly brightening) amber glow, had its usual thin film of dust. Checking the fridge showed everything I'd expected. You had to prepare for the Hibernation, and that included tossing anything that would spoil or rot in the fridge while you snoozed away from October to March. No cream. No milk. I'd just take my brew black, then. As usual, on the first morning. The voice continued a litany of news stories I'd missed, none of which had any impact on me directly. I put grounds in the filter, poured water, hit the button. Yawning and stretching, I rubbed the cramp away when it twinged in my thigh once more. Brown coffee smell flooded the kitchen as I flexed every bit of patience I had. Once enough for a full cup had dripped down, I yanked the carafe out and filled said cup. Delicious. Even without cream. Or milk. "Pause," I finally said after a few more swallows. The lights had brightened in my kitchen, almost to full strength. "Unit: Forecast." "The forecast today is." Nothing beyond that. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Unit: Status check?" "Unit is online and operational. 36.2% system resources used." Okay, so it hadn't locked up, which had been my suspicion. My home system, as all others, had been manufactured and installed by the Federal Somnus Initiative Department. And like many hundreds of others, it had been prone to lockups and fatal errors from day one. Rebooting meant walking to the control panel back in the bedroom and hoping that a handful of restarts and error reports would get the goddamn thing back up and running. It sometimes had given me shivers to think that this piece of government equipment was all that kept me alive during Somnus. "Unit: Forecast?" "The forecast today is." I balanced the idea that my Unit needed maintenance from a lowest-bidding contractor goon, and just writing it off as a glitch that would take care of itself. The latter won out. My shuttered kitchen window was two feet away. "Unit, continue Summary," I ordered, while reaching for the window. "November seven - Sources close to the White House confirm that the next New Christmas will occur on April fifteenth, 2027..." I pulled back the blinds. When I first wake, even from a regular sleep, it takes me half an hour for my brain to really get in gear. So when I stared out the window, part of me wondered if I was still asleep. If this was a dream. But no, that couldn't be. You didn't dream while your blood was full of Somnia. I sat there naked, and eventually put my cup down. It rattled as the base of it met my countertop. The view outside was dark as midnight, and there was snow falling. Lots of snow. A small drift, two inches high, had accumulated on the sill. I could also see the neighboring apartments. They were dark. Nobody else was Waking. "Unit," I interrupted. "Date and time?" "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027. The time is nine-twenty-nine." "The fuck it is," I muttered in shock. Snow in Houston? In March? Not impossible, no, but far from fucking likely. And this wasn't a case of cloud cover. The night - and yes, I realized it was nighttime - was pitch black. That was when I heard someone open my front door. "Unit," I said, as I pulled open a drawer. "Identify intruder." No good. I was naked in the kitchen with a drawer full of spatulas and wooden spoons, as well as one pitiful egg whisk. Right. My knives were in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen island. "Command unrecognized." "Unit, contact police!" I barked, pulling my longest carving knife out of the other drawer. Adrenaline tried to fight the leftover Somnia in my system, whch was an awful feeling that I don't recommend. "Belay code 16-PQ," a gruff male voice said behind me. I whirled, knife at ready in my shaking hand. "Copy," my Unit responded. He was tall. At least eight inches taller than me, dressed in a black trench coat, white button down shirt, and slacks. He was in his fifties, and looked a little bit like a car salesman I'd seen on television - thick and burly, with a big fake smile on his face. Smiling like he hadn't just walked into a stranger's house and found them naked, pointing a knife at them. "Who the fuck are you?" I croaked at him, brandishing my weapon in what I hoped was a threatening gesture. "Hold on," he chuckled. "You're Royce, right? Royce Petersen? Tax ID code 5712 GG 3434?" "Ye.. who the..?" I tried to figure out a good, imposing response, something that would keep him over there and away from me. "I'm Brian," he said. Then he pulled out a small gun and shot me. Everything went black.	"Time to go to sleep" announced the loudspeakers. It was a cold and dark evening. Winter was approaching. Pat Rick was sitting in his incubation tube at the National Sleeping Facility in Detroit. Millions of incubation tubes were around him. The building was enormous; a 100 story tall facility that was 40 miles wide. The entirety of the United States congregated every November to the NSF to sleep. Nine hundred thirty six years ago the American government had declared that citizens had to undergo mandatory hibernation in the wintertime. The reasons of hibernating was long forgotten by the general populace. It was simply a way of life. Pat Rick looked at the clock. The time was 11:59:59:99. As the hour struck midnight, millions of incubation tubes closed simultaneously and the United States drifted into a deep slumber. ... ... ... "Good morning Pat Rick". Pat Rick was ripped away from his sleep. He felt his consciousness return to his body. Something wasn't right. The facility was still dark. The only lights in the room was the soft faint glow of every tube. "Bing Now. What day is it today" said Pat Rick to his smartphone. "The day is December 25th, 3056". replied his smart watch. "DECEMBER? That's not good" thought Pat Rick. Pat Rick opened his tube and walked around for a bit. He observed everyone still sleeping. The collective soft humming of each tube made for a strange atmosphere. "How strange" thought Pat Rick. "Am I the only one awake?". But then there was movement out of the corner of his eye. Whatever it was moved quickly. "WHO'S THERE" shouted Pat Rick. Silence. Freaked out, Pat Rick got on his motor skateboard and made a beeline to the exit. However, he never made it to the exit. Something grabbed Pat Rick by the legs. He turned around and looked at the grabber. It was a service robot. "We have a winner!" exclaimed the robot. "What the-" said Pat Rick, but he was cut off because all the lights in the facility turned on. The President of the United States of America was standing before Pat Rick. She was looking half dead, like she had prolonged her life through hibernation or something. "Nine hundred thirty six years" said the President. "It has taken us this long to find someone who has developed an immunity to the sleep technologies of Santa Claus". "Excuse me?" replied Pat Rick. As it turns out, 936 years ago Santa Claus said "Screw it" and gave up delivering gifts. Now instead Santa Claus appeared every winter and made all the other countries go to sleep forever. They didn't die, just go to sleep. How did we not notice that all the other countries were dead? Turns out the reason we closed off all connection to the outside war wasn't because of the looming threat of nuclear war. "You must go and defeat Santa Claus". Then the President died because of old age and happiness that she found someone who had developed a resistance to Santa's sleep attacks. ... ... ... Pat Rick was brought outside. He stood there alone in a desolate world. The howl of the empty world was deafening. "HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS". The roar exploded all the windows of the NSF. The ground exploded in front of Pat Rick as something landed in front of him. It was Santa. Glorious beard and all. Pat Rick pointed his gun at the demon but then was instantly put into a slumber. Turns out he hadn't developed a resistance to the Sleep powers at all. It was a computer glitch. A mistake. Because the president was released from her tube, nobody would be waking up any longer. It was assumed that if the president had awaken, the savior had been found and that the person would activate the release codes which would wake up the remaining humans from sleep. Whoever designed that program needs to be fired. Wow. And so the world lay barren. A meteor hit Earth and exploded everything. The end.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	The first part of hibernation prep is the worst: packing up your house. Dust covers go over everything - couches, counters, beds. Everything gets switched off, bar the freezers. The fridge gets emptied prior to the big sleep and pets get taken to the pet-sitter facility. I hate saying goodbye to my cat, Marlon. I hate being surrounded by hundreds of other distraught humans dropping their confused pets off at the pet facility; it's horrendously emotional. Sometimes I think Marlon will be my last cat; I hate doing this to another living creature. He always treats me like a complete stranger when I pick him up after hibernation. I'm done now and the house is in order. In the garage is the HibSleep machine; a coffin-shaped device filled with warm aqua goo. I fit the respirator and lower myself in, starting the hibernation cycle from the panel inside, in front of my face. I lie awake for a while, contemplating the scenario which led us to this; to humans having to go down for the winter: Everyone knew, back in 2015, that the environment was toast. Humans were just too selfish and we burned through too many resources. Huge quantum computers were built and the only viable answer was that humanity cut its collective emissions by a quarter. Debate raged as to how to mandate these cuts, since capitalism still ruled. In the end, the governments mandated that all citizens - bar a small force of maintenance techs - should be put to sleep for 3 months of the year, to produce the necessary cuts to our carbon emissions. On top of that, population restrictions were put in place, as well as restrictions on living space and animal ownership. I was only allowed a cat because I lived alone - no spouse, no children. It was only a stopgap measure though. By using hibernation technology, we had only bought ourselves another 50-60 years. The problem was still there. With that final thought, the cocktail of hibernation gasses finally pushed me under and my body entered hibernation sleep. Crimson flashing lights woke me from my sleep. Groggy, I managed to focus on the panel in front of my face - there was some kind of issue with my hibernation machine. The error code was meaningless to me, but there was an instruction for me to wait for assistance from a technician. I've always been mildly claustrophobic, so I pushed open my casket and levered myself out. If I needed to wait for some geek to fix the machine, then I'd do it in my lounge with a cup of Joe and a blanket, not in my freezing garage, covered in blue goop. Back inside the house I put the kettle on and waited, after toweling myself off and putting on a thick, fluffy bathrobe. I started shivering despite the robe and pulled on a pair of yoga pants, a flannel pajama top and a hoody. None of the household electronics had been left on, so I didn't know how long I'd been in the hibernation tank. Suddenly I felt, very, very ill. I made it to the bathroom before I puked, but only just. Mostly it was more blue goo, mixed with whitish-yellowish froth. I vomited again and this time crimson laced the vomit. Shit. I stumbled to the phone and picked up the receiver - did emergency services still run during hibernation period? I didn't even know. I'd never considered it. I'd never needed it. There was no dialtone on the other end. Frantic, I staggered to the bedroom and yanked open my bedside drawer, pulling out my cellphone with trembling hands. After an interminable wait, it came on. I lay in the fetal position on the plastic-wrapped bed, stomach cramping hard. There were no bars on the phone. No emergency call option. I crawled off the bed and pulled on a coat from the closet. Red splattered the path to my letterbox as I stumbled out to the street - from my nose I guessed. I pinched the bridge of my nose and kept walking, heading for the police station, two blocks over. I'm not sure when I lost consciousness, but I woke on the street. Blood and more frothy vomit surrounded me. I heard voices and instantly felt relieved. Help was here. They would take me to hospital and fix me. "For fuck sake another runner," griped a man's voice. "Why can't they fuckin' stay in their coffins and die like everyone else." What? What did they mean die like everyone else? "Shit, she's still alive." I managed to roll onto my back, still clutching my useless phone somehow. "Morning sweetheart," said the first guy; a huge lad in his early 20s, wearing heavy overalls and rubber gloves. "What's... what's going on? Why am I dying?" He grinned and shoved his gloved hands into his waistband. "You all die, luv. That's the secret ya see? The government never figured out hibernation technology. Too hard. Too expensive. By cloning technology? Cheap and easy; grow 'em in less than a week." "But," I struggled with the idea, my mind was slowing down now with the fluid loss, "why am I dying, what do they put in the tanks?" He grinned again, "That shit? It's just blue jello. You're dying because that's how they made you. Clones only last 10 months, tops, babe. After they murdered the original you, it was always gonna happen." The last thing I heard was the sound of a truck backing up and his voice yelling, "Load her up boys, we got six hours to clear this suburb. Chop chop!" I felt my body being lifted and tossed into a pile of other bodies. Now I knew why Marlon always treated me like a stranger after hibernation.	"Time to go to sleep" announced the loudspeakers. It was a cold and dark evening. Winter was approaching. Pat Rick was sitting in his incubation tube at the National Sleeping Facility in Detroit. Millions of incubation tubes were around him. The building was enormous; a 100 story tall facility that was 40 miles wide. The entirety of the United States congregated every November to the NSF to sleep. Nine hundred thirty six years ago the American government had declared that citizens had to undergo mandatory hibernation in the wintertime. The reasons of hibernating was long forgotten by the general populace. It was simply a way of life. Pat Rick looked at the clock. The time was 11:59:59:99. As the hour struck midnight, millions of incubation tubes closed simultaneously and the United States drifted into a deep slumber. ... ... ... "Good morning Pat Rick". Pat Rick was ripped away from his sleep. He felt his consciousness return to his body. Something wasn't right. The facility was still dark. The only lights in the room was the soft faint glow of every tube. "Bing Now. What day is it today" said Pat Rick to his smartphone. "The day is December 25th, 3056". replied his smart watch. "DECEMBER? That's not good" thought Pat Rick. Pat Rick opened his tube and walked around for a bit. He observed everyone still sleeping. The collective soft humming of each tube made for a strange atmosphere. "How strange" thought Pat Rick. "Am I the only one awake?". But then there was movement out of the corner of his eye. Whatever it was moved quickly. "WHO'S THERE" shouted Pat Rick. Silence. Freaked out, Pat Rick got on his motor skateboard and made a beeline to the exit. However, he never made it to the exit. Something grabbed Pat Rick by the legs. He turned around and looked at the grabber. It was a service robot. "We have a winner!" exclaimed the robot. "What the-" said Pat Rick, but he was cut off because all the lights in the facility turned on. The President of the United States of America was standing before Pat Rick. She was looking half dead, like she had prolonged her life through hibernation or something. "Nine hundred thirty six years" said the President. "It has taken us this long to find someone who has developed an immunity to the sleep technologies of Santa Claus". "Excuse me?" replied Pat Rick. As it turns out, 936 years ago Santa Claus said "Screw it" and gave up delivering gifts. Now instead Santa Claus appeared every winter and made all the other countries go to sleep forever. They didn't die, just go to sleep. How did we not notice that all the other countries were dead? Turns out the reason we closed off all connection to the outside war wasn't because of the looming threat of nuclear war. "You must go and defeat Santa Claus". Then the President died because of old age and happiness that she found someone who had developed a resistance to Santa's sleep attacks. ... ... ... Pat Rick was brought outside. He stood there alone in a desolate world. The howl of the empty world was deafening. "HOHOHO MERRY CHRISTMAS". The roar exploded all the windows of the NSF. The ground exploded in front of Pat Rick as something landed in front of him. It was Santa. Glorious beard and all. Pat Rick pointed his gun at the demon but then was instantly put into a slumber. Turns out he hadn't developed a resistance to the Sleep powers at all. It was a computer glitch. A mistake. Because the president was released from her tube, nobody would be waking up any longer. It was assumed that if the president had awaken, the savior had been found and that the person would activate the release codes which would wake up the remaining humans from sleep. Whoever designed that program needs to be fired. Wow. And so the world lay barren. A meteor hit Earth and exploded everything. The end.
Edit: Wow this got more popular than I expected it would	[WP] It has become a law to hibernate during the winter with the help of a machine, but there is a glitch, and you wake up halfway through winter and find the reason why the government made hibernation manditory	"Unit 5712 GG 3434 - good morning." Electronic words, spoken by an almost, but not quite, human voice. My eyes flickered open. The usual tinfoil taste of Somnia lay on my tongue. My familiar sleep chamber wall stared back at me, including the words "nighty night" I'd written in permanent marker during my second Hibernation Cycle. I reached down to scratch myself - fingertips brushing the condom catheter an instant before I remembered it. Amber light slowly increased as I lay there for the next fifteen minutes, feeling the air of the chamber warm up. Eight cycles, and it was still a nuisance. "Would you care for Re-Emergence tips?" "No," I snapped. I'd heard it all many times. And I'd never followed the official recommendations anyway. Fuck the lukewarm shower, fuck the ten minutes of jumping jacks and jogging in place. All I wanted was some joe and a cigarette. Maybe some toast, and not the hideous packet of gruel they said was "easy for a Sleeper to digest" for your first meal upon waking. "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027," the voice finally continued, a sign that the chamber would open soon. I peed a dribble as it spoke, releasing the leftover Somnia into the waste system. As usual, I wasn't hungry, but I felt like I could drink gallons of coffee. Juice. Water. Anything liquid, really. "The time is nine-fifteen. Would you like Summary?" I ran my tongue over my teeth in contemplation. "Sure, what the fuck," I finally croaked. My voice was raspy, vocal chords disused to anything beyond my snoring (a problem that had contributed to my divorce nine years prior). "Answer unrecognized. Would you like Summary?" "Yes," I groaned, as the chamber locks snapped open. There was a barely audible, high pitched whine as the lid of my plastic sarcophagus slowly lifted away, letting in more low amber light from my bedroom. The voice prattled on, through my ceiling speakers, about world affairs, as I got to my feet, removed the catheter, closed the chamber, and stumbled to the kitchen. It wasn't the worst Hibernation Hangover I'd had - that had been my third cycle. This one had just left me groggy, with a mild taste of drugs in my mouth, and a weird cramp that came and went in my left thigh. World events hadn't changed much. The war in the Middle East was still winding down. Colonists on Mars Station Beta were still struggling along, with a couple new deaths, but making it, blah blah blah. I wasn't awake enough to really process any of it. I never was until I had my coffee. My kitchen, although lit by the same (slowly brightening) amber glow, had its usual thin film of dust. Checking the fridge showed everything I'd expected. You had to prepare for the Hibernation, and that included tossing anything that would spoil or rot in the fridge while you snoozed away from October to March. No cream. No milk. I'd just take my brew black, then. As usual, on the first morning. The voice continued a litany of news stories I'd missed, none of which had any impact on me directly. I put grounds in the filter, poured water, hit the button. Yawning and stretching, I rubbed the cramp away when it twinged in my thigh once more. Brown coffee smell flooded the kitchen as I flexed every bit of patience I had. Once enough for a full cup had dripped down, I yanked the carafe out and filled said cup. Delicious. Even without cream. Or milk. "Pause," I finally said after a few more swallows. The lights had brightened in my kitchen, almost to full strength. "Unit: Forecast." "The forecast today is." Nothing beyond that. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "Unit: Status check?" "Unit is online and operational. 36.2% system resources used." Okay, so it hadn't locked up, which had been my suspicion. My home system, as all others, had been manufactured and installed by the Federal Somnus Initiative Department. And like many hundreds of others, it had been prone to lockups and fatal errors from day one. Rebooting meant walking to the control panel back in the bedroom and hoping that a handful of restarts and error reports would get the goddamn thing back up and running. It sometimes had given me shivers to think that this piece of government equipment was all that kept me alive during Somnus. "Unit: Forecast?" "The forecast today is." I balanced the idea that my Unit needed maintenance from a lowest-bidding contractor goon, and just writing it off as a glitch that would take care of itself. The latter won out. My shuttered kitchen window was two feet away. "Unit, continue Summary," I ordered, while reaching for the window. "November seven - Sources close to the White House confirm that the next New Christmas will occur on April fifteenth, 2027..." I pulled back the blinds. When I first wake, even from a regular sleep, it takes me half an hour for my brain to really get in gear. So when I stared out the window, part of me wondered if I was still asleep. If this was a dream. But no, that couldn't be. You didn't dream while your blood was full of Somnia. I sat there naked, and eventually put my cup down. It rattled as the base of it met my countertop. The view outside was dark as midnight, and there was snow falling. Lots of snow. A small drift, two inches high, had accumulated on the sill. I could also see the neighboring apartments. They were dark. Nobody else was Waking. "Unit," I interrupted. "Date and time?" "Today is Friday, March fifth, 2027. The time is nine-twenty-nine." "The fuck it is," I muttered in shock. Snow in Houston? In March? Not impossible, no, but far from fucking likely. And this wasn't a case of cloud cover. The night - and yes, I realized it was nighttime - was pitch black. That was when I heard someone open my front door. "Unit," I said, as I pulled open a drawer. "Identify intruder." No good. I was naked in the kitchen with a drawer full of spatulas and wooden spoons, as well as one pitiful egg whisk. Right. My knives were in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen island. "Command unrecognized." "Unit, contact police!" I barked, pulling my longest carving knife out of the other drawer. Adrenaline tried to fight the leftover Somnia in my system, whch was an awful feeling that I don't recommend. "Belay code 16-PQ," a gruff male voice said behind me. I whirled, knife at ready in my shaking hand. "Copy," my Unit responded. He was tall. At least eight inches taller than me, dressed in a black trench coat, white button down shirt, and slacks. He was in his fifties, and looked a little bit like a car salesman I'd seen on television - thick and burly, with a big fake smile on his face. Smiling like he hadn't just walked into a stranger's house and found them naked, pointing a knife at them. "Who the fuck are you?" I croaked at him, brandishing my weapon in what I hoped was a threatening gesture. "Hold on," he chuckled. "You're Royce, right? Royce Petersen? Tax ID code 5712 GG 3434?" "Ye.. who the..?" I tried to figure out a good, imposing response, something that would keep him over there and away from me. "I'm Brian," he said. Then he pulled out a small gun and shot me. Everything went black.	The law came into effect ten years ago. Five years ago, they began enforcing it, and made hibernation machines available to the public at no cost. They claimed it was due to rapidly dropping temperatures - making life in the winter impossible, unless you were in stasis - only a skeleton crew remained active during that time, buried deep in heated bunkers, close to the Earth's core. Too cold to survive. As I glanced around the empty streets, I realized they were right. Shit.
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	Joe slumped in his chair, spinal cord unnerved. His usual to-do list for the day was: > beg the admins for admin > see if i got admin > pay for admin (?) > eat poop sleep (?) Only one of those was on his to-do list today. > <[User]megaproguy98> hey guys say hi to ur new amdin > <[Builder]fhgffagf> lol noob Strange. Joe gazed into the mirror once more, introspecting on his rather unsightly peach fuzz, and of course, the glowing red [Admin] tag. If he wasn't admin in his most favorite game forever, then he must be admin... in some other game? Joe realized that he doesn't play any other games. "MOOOOM I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME" His mother rushed out to diagnose him, almost tripping over the piles of soggy laundry. "What is it, dear?" He pointed into the mirror, receiving strange looks from his mother. Not that he didn't already get strange looks. ".." Despite Joe's repeated cries, his mother thought him crazy. Not that she didn't already think him crazy. Dejected, Joe collapsed down on his bed, itself collapsing from the sheer force. "Shit." ~~~ Joe woke up with a bunch of splinters in his back and pelvic region. A message was overlaid on his retina. > Congratulations on securing your admin position. Check the mod queue for > more info. Try !help for your commands, and don't forget to ask us for > assistance if you need any. > Try not to abuse. > Thanks. > ~ the developers Weird. Joe didn't read any of that, though. Instead, he yelled for help. No help came except for a menu, which he also happened to not read. Disgruntled by all this reading he would potentially have to do for the next couple of a whiles, and the pain starting to set in, Joe began to sing in the most elegant way possible. "FUCK ME!" And the rest, they say, is history. ~~~ Discovering the true extent to his powers, Joe set to work. He was gonna make those noobs pay. And he'd start by griefing everything they loved. And fucking their moms. Not that he didn't already fuck their moms.	[Absurdly relevant!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUqVkEBKos)
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	~ System upgrade complete... Log initiation complete... Integration comets... New user profile complete... Initiate boot sequence in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... ~ I woke with a start sitting up straight as an arrow, my eyes snapping open. That's when I should have known something was wrong. Not only did I never wake up that easily, but it was still morning AND I wasn't in desperate need of coffee just to open my eyes. That said... Something was off... I just couldn't quite tell what. Rather than dwell on it I decided to roll out of bed and grab a shower before heading to work. As usual I avoided the mirror and slipped into my phone screen while I waited on the water to heat up. After 10 minutes of waiting and fiddling with the knob though... No hot water. Again. I fucking hate this apartment. I scowled at the frigid stream of liquid pouring from the spout and resigned myself to another day of near hypothermia. As I stepped in and my feet touched the water I immediately said to the manager even though I knew she couldn't hear me "Fix the godamn water heater and stop being a lazy fuck you twat." That's when I almost jumped out of my skin as steam began to rise from the bathtub floor as hot water began to wash over my feet. I was surprised, but what looked like red text caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at it but it was gone... Or never there... I don't know, I just want some fricken coffee. An hour later I was fully dressed and fed, thermos in hand and headed to my car enjoying the fresh Texas breeze of the morning, a time of day I rarely saw. The manager came rushing out of her office, nearly knocking me over in the process. I expected to berated for something again today, but instead she smiled. Even though she was covered in sweat, dirt and grease I could see that this 28 year old girl was actually cute when she smiled. I mentally punched myself for listening to the sirens song. "Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I fixed the water heater, the air conditioner and both of the lights. I'm sorry it took so long, but for some reason I woke up and felt like a new person for the first time in years. So I'm going to be doing a lot of work around here. Just let me know if you need anything!" She said smiling widely, winked and was gone. Maybe I have lost my mind... I made it to work and through most of the day without incident... Strange things kept happening; like Brenda from HR approving a raise I didn't ask for just after me thinking about it. My bosses coming by to thank me for my hard work... After I had just been bitching about the lack of appreciation around here. And the cute girl in accounting slipping me her number just when I was thinking about her making the first move. Yeah, I was freaking myself out. I'm probably just imaging it... I walked to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and hung my head over the sink while holding onto the sides. What a strange day... I looked up into the mirror to see if I looked ok... And jumped up and back in shock and surprise slamming into the wall and pulling the hand dryer down completely. Now I knew I wasn't imaging things... But just to be sure I got up slowly and looked again. Yep, I'm crazy after all. Above my head hung a large red sign; ADMIN it declared in bold letters. Admin of what?! I spun around so I wouldn't have to see it anymore... And my eyes fell on the broken hand dryer. Fuck, that's a write up. Then I had a thought... A test to see if I was crazy or it was true... "Delete damage and repair with same values." I'm in IT, what did you expect? A poem? Before my eyes the wall and dryer seemed to glitch and disappear then be replaced like nothing had ever happened. Did it work? Yes. Am I not crazy? Yeah, jury's still out on that one. Then I noticed a slowly pulsing shape in the corner of my vision. I looked at it perplexed as it wasn't there a moment before. I reached out and tried to touch it with my fingertips and felt resistance, like I was pressing an actual button. These words appears in front of me: "Installation errors resolved, reboot required. Yes No" I pressed yes... And fell to the floor and into blackness. When I woke again I was surrounded by two things. Several coworkers with concerned faces, and by icons of all shapes, colors and sizes. The second was far more disturbing than the first, but I had to ask anyway. "What happened?" A collective sigh of relief was exhaled and some even smiled. "Yeah man, your ok. Looked like you just passed out from the heat or something. You said some weird stuff brother. Like you were some kind of computer or something." I half smiled and waved off concerns, but the boss sent me home early and I gladly walked out as quickly as possible. As I reached for the door to the outside a small female voice whispered into my ear. Even though I already knew the answer I looked around to make sure. No one was near me. "Hello. My name is Cynthia. I know this must be scary as hell for you, I know it was for me. I promise that everything is ok and they you're not crazy. This is real." She was silent for a moment so I asked; "What the hell is going on? What is an Admin? Why are things happening around me when I want them too?" She was quiet for a few moments then spoke again. "You've been chosen to be an admin for the planet Earth. I am Cynthia, another admin like you. My job, since I was the newest until now, is to teach you and make sure you're ok. Can I meet you?" For some stupid reason I just nodded... But then there was a tap on my shoulder and I realized I had a death grip on the door. Letting go I turned and saw the epitome of adorable, closet gorgeous, nerd girl of my dreams. "Hi there, sorry if I startled you, but you'll get used to porting as time goes by. I'm Cynthia, another admin of Earth. I'm going to be showing you the ropes. That ok?" I nodded lamely. "Good, then before we begin I need to explain one thing. Earth isn't real, this is just a simulation.	[Absurdly relevant!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUqVkEBKos)
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	I sauntered into the hospital room, empty save a single man on a bed. This man has been in a coma for 4 years or so. Concentrating for a moment, the man suddenly disappeared. 'Kicked for being AFK'. I smiled and walked out. "Who's the gay nerd now asshole!", I whispered as I walked out. How did all of this get started? One day I woke up and saw "Admin" floating above my head. After making sure I wasn't tripping, I've been testing my 'powers'. So far I have kicked criminals and assholes out of the "Server" that is Earth. A couple weeks after cleaning out the jails, I went after some answers, like why the fuck I'm an Admin. The gods have no answer, for they are merely mods. To get some real answers, I'm gonna have to find the owner. Or owners.	[Absurdly relevant!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUqVkEBKos)
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	"Admin? What the fuck?" The blue foam of toothpaste from my mouth seeps down. After noticing it was getting on my chest, I spit. I looked back in the mirror. The red text of the word "admin" peers over my head. "Admin of what? No, no, no. I shouldn't be thinking that I'm some admin and the world was a computer game. I should be thinking why the fuck am I hallucinating. I wave my hand over the admin text. It swishes and sways, and it also moves when I tilt my head left to right. "Ok this isn't weird. Just the word admin over my head. It will go away. Just like the storm trooper taking me into custody that night with shrooms. Everything will be okay. I showered. Admin is still there. I prepared breakfast. Admin is still gleaming over my head. I got into my car and left for work. "Coffee, I need some coffee." I stopped by a local coffee shop knowing of my distaste for coffee. Frantically I walked up the door, expecting everyone would see "Admin". Nothing. No one looks. "A small coffee please. Do you see anything weird about me, Liza?" "Nothing at all, sir. Room for cream?" I nodded. I sat down. I think Liza needs to get new contacts. Wait, how do I know she wears contacts? How do I know that person in front in me just broke up with his girlfriend? And why the hell is my coffee is going to take exactly five minutes! Exactly five minutes passed and my name bellows throughout the cafe. I grab my coffee and sat back down. I stare into my coffee. The coffee here sucks and there is 5,496 people who feels the same way. Someone is sitting at my table. A woman in red, with a big red admin text above her head. "How much do you know?," she said with her lips not moving an inch.	[Absurdly relevant!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CoUqVkEBKos)
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	~ System upgrade complete... Log initiation complete... Integration comets... New user profile complete... Initiate boot sequence in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1... ~ I woke with a start sitting up straight as an arrow, my eyes snapping open. That's when I should have known something was wrong. Not only did I never wake up that easily, but it was still morning AND I wasn't in desperate need of coffee just to open my eyes. That said... Something was off... I just couldn't quite tell what. Rather than dwell on it I decided to roll out of bed and grab a shower before heading to work. As usual I avoided the mirror and slipped into my phone screen while I waited on the water to heat up. After 10 minutes of waiting and fiddling with the knob though... No hot water. Again. I fucking hate this apartment. I scowled at the frigid stream of liquid pouring from the spout and resigned myself to another day of near hypothermia. As I stepped in and my feet touched the water I immediately said to the manager even though I knew she couldn't hear me "Fix the godamn water heater and stop being a lazy fuck you twat." That's when I almost jumped out of my skin as steam began to rise from the bathtub floor as hot water began to wash over my feet. I was surprised, but what looked like red text caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at it but it was gone... Or never there... I don't know, I just want some fricken coffee. An hour later I was fully dressed and fed, thermos in hand and headed to my car enjoying the fresh Texas breeze of the morning, a time of day I rarely saw. The manager came rushing out of her office, nearly knocking me over in the process. I expected to berated for something again today, but instead she smiled. Even though she was covered in sweat, dirt and grease I could see that this 28 year old girl was actually cute when she smiled. I mentally punched myself for listening to the sirens song. "Hey! I just wanted to let you know that I fixed the water heater, the air conditioner and both of the lights. I'm sorry it took so long, but for some reason I woke up and felt like a new person for the first time in years. So I'm going to be doing a lot of work around here. Just let me know if you need anything!" She said smiling widely, winked and was gone. Maybe I have lost my mind... I made it to work and through most of the day without incident... Strange things kept happening; like Brenda from HR approving a raise I didn't ask for just after me thinking about it. My bosses coming by to thank me for my hard work... After I had just been bitching about the lack of appreciation around here. And the cute girl in accounting slipping me her number just when I was thinking about her making the first move. Yeah, I was freaking myself out. I'm probably just imaging it... I walked to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and hung my head over the sink while holding onto the sides. What a strange day... I looked up into the mirror to see if I looked ok... And jumped up and back in shock and surprise slamming into the wall and pulling the hand dryer down completely. Now I knew I wasn't imaging things... But just to be sure I got up slowly and looked again. Yep, I'm crazy after all. Above my head hung a large red sign; ADMIN it declared in bold letters. Admin of what?! I spun around so I wouldn't have to see it anymore... And my eyes fell on the broken hand dryer. Fuck, that's a write up. Then I had a thought... A test to see if I was crazy or it was true... "Delete damage and repair with same values." I'm in IT, what did you expect? A poem? Before my eyes the wall and dryer seemed to glitch and disappear then be replaced like nothing had ever happened. Did it work? Yes. Am I not crazy? Yeah, jury's still out on that one. Then I noticed a slowly pulsing shape in the corner of my vision. I looked at it perplexed as it wasn't there a moment before. I reached out and tried to touch it with my fingertips and felt resistance, like I was pressing an actual button. These words appears in front of me: "Installation errors resolved, reboot required. Yes No" I pressed yes... And fell to the floor and into blackness. When I woke again I was surrounded by two things. Several coworkers with concerned faces, and by icons of all shapes, colors and sizes. The second was far more disturbing than the first, but I had to ask anyway. "What happened?" A collective sigh of relief was exhaled and some even smiled. "Yeah man, your ok. Looked like you just passed out from the heat or something. You said some weird stuff brother. Like you were some kind of computer or something." I half smiled and waved off concerns, but the boss sent me home early and I gladly walked out as quickly as possible. As I reached for the door to the outside a small female voice whispered into my ear. Even though I already knew the answer I looked around to make sure. No one was near me. "Hello. My name is Cynthia. I know this must be scary as hell for you, I know it was for me. I promise that everything is ok and they you're not crazy. This is real." She was silent for a moment so I asked; "What the hell is going on? What is an Admin? Why are things happening around me when I want them too?" She was quiet for a few moments then spoke again. "You've been chosen to be an admin for the planet Earth. I am Cynthia, another admin like you. My job, since I was the newest until now, is to teach you and make sure you're ok. Can I meet you?" For some stupid reason I just nodded... But then there was a tap on my shoulder and I realized I had a death grip on the door. Letting go I turned and saw the epitome of adorable, closet gorgeous, nerd girl of my dreams. "Hi there, sorry if I startled you, but you'll get used to porting as time goes by. I'm Cynthia, another admin of Earth. I'm going to be showing you the ropes. That ok?" I nodded lamely. "Good, then before we begin I need to explain one thing. Earth isn't real, this is just a simulation.	As I awoke this morning I felt an eerie sense of calm, like that which one feels before a storm. It was 8 AM and my alarm was sounding like every other Sunday reminding me that I needed to get up for my morning run. I began to notice something was off as my eyes finally began to obey my mind and remain open examining the world around me. I had started to ponder on the issues of the world and became deeply invested in finding a solution quickly. I shook my head and tacked it up to the lack of sleep I had gotten the night before due to the fire I was called to put out at a retirement home. Chief told me he would be recommending me for this years selflessness and bravery award, but I was just doing my job when I ran back in to save Mrs. Johnson's cat Jeffrey. "We need your decision on the topic at hand sir" I heard, from what seemed to be coming from within my head. "What topic?" I thought to myself. Again the voice in my head spoke, "The conflict in Africa that has been overlooked for almost two centuries. All before you have chalked it up to too much work." "Have I gone mad?" I thought in silence. "He does not know yet, we have to break it to him gently." A new voice came into the conversation. "Sir, I suggest you go take a shower and contemplate this discussion when you get out." Said the first voice. "Were the fumes as bad as Chief said? Was my brain chemistry effected by the antique varnish that entombed all of the furniture in the building?" I sat on the bed for what seemed like an hour until my snooze alarm came on and I decided to hit the shower. My thoughts were too quiet, all I could come back to was the new voices in my mind that weren't mine. "What did they mean and how did they get there" I asked myself. As I stepped out of the shower and over to the sink I could see a luminous red glow above my head in the mirror. I stepped closer and wiped away the condensation to reveal the word "Admin" floating above my head in the reflection. "What on earth is this!" I exclaimed. "You were the next in line." Said the first voice. "When she died last night in France, your act of bravery that put your own life at risk solidified your choosing." Boomed a third voice. "And what are you I might ask?" I said trembling at the unknown response I may receive. "*WE ARE THE PANTHEON*" Boomed the voices echoing through my mind in unison as the words materialized into knowledge. "And what might I ask am I now the 'Admin' of exactly" I responded with as much of a guise over my emotions as a whale in the desert. "The earth of course" Said the first voice. "And it is now your duty to embody the opinions and concerns of the entire human race" Said the first female voice I could distinguish.
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	I sauntered into the hospital room, empty save a single man on a bed. This man has been in a coma for 4 years or so. Concentrating for a moment, the man suddenly disappeared. 'Kicked for being AFK'. I smiled and walked out. "Who's the gay nerd now asshole!", I whispered as I walked out. How did all of this get started? One day I woke up and saw "Admin" floating above my head. After making sure I wasn't tripping, I've been testing my 'powers'. So far I have kicked criminals and assholes out of the "Server" that is Earth. A couple weeks after cleaning out the jails, I went after some answers, like why the fuck I'm an Admin. The gods have no answer, for they are merely mods. To get some real answers, I'm gonna have to find the owner. Or owners.	As I awoke this morning I felt an eerie sense of calm, like that which one feels before a storm. It was 8 AM and my alarm was sounding like every other Sunday reminding me that I needed to get up for my morning run. I began to notice something was off as my eyes finally began to obey my mind and remain open examining the world around me. I had started to ponder on the issues of the world and became deeply invested in finding a solution quickly. I shook my head and tacked it up to the lack of sleep I had gotten the night before due to the fire I was called to put out at a retirement home. Chief told me he would be recommending me for this years selflessness and bravery award, but I was just doing my job when I ran back in to save Mrs. Johnson's cat Jeffrey. "We need your decision on the topic at hand sir" I heard, from what seemed to be coming from within my head. "What topic?" I thought to myself. Again the voice in my head spoke, "The conflict in Africa that has been overlooked for almost two centuries. All before you have chalked it up to too much work." "Have I gone mad?" I thought in silence. "He does not know yet, we have to break it to him gently." A new voice came into the conversation. "Sir, I suggest you go take a shower and contemplate this discussion when you get out." Said the first voice. "Were the fumes as bad as Chief said? Was my brain chemistry effected by the antique varnish that entombed all of the furniture in the building?" I sat on the bed for what seemed like an hour until my snooze alarm came on and I decided to hit the shower. My thoughts were too quiet, all I could come back to was the new voices in my mind that weren't mine. "What did they mean and how did they get there" I asked myself. As I stepped out of the shower and over to the sink I could see a luminous red glow above my head in the mirror. I stepped closer and wiped away the condensation to reveal the word "Admin" floating above my head in the reflection. "What on earth is this!" I exclaimed. "You were the next in line." Said the first voice. "When she died last night in France, your act of bravery that put your own life at risk solidified your choosing." Boomed a third voice. "And what are you I might ask?" I said trembling at the unknown response I may receive. "*WE ARE THE PANTHEON*" Boomed the voices echoing through my mind in unison as the words materialized into knowledge. "And what might I ask am I now the 'Admin' of exactly" I responded with as much of a guise over my emotions as a whale in the desert. "The earth of course" Said the first voice. "And it is now your duty to embody the opinions and concerns of the entire human race" Said the first female voice I could distinguish.
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	"Admin? What the fuck?" The blue foam of toothpaste from my mouth seeps down. After noticing it was getting on my chest, I spit. I looked back in the mirror. The red text of the word "admin" peers over my head. "Admin of what? No, no, no. I shouldn't be thinking that I'm some admin and the world was a computer game. I should be thinking why the fuck am I hallucinating. I wave my hand over the admin text. It swishes and sways, and it also moves when I tilt my head left to right. "Ok this isn't weird. Just the word admin over my head. It will go away. Just like the storm trooper taking me into custody that night with shrooms. Everything will be okay. I showered. Admin is still there. I prepared breakfast. Admin is still gleaming over my head. I got into my car and left for work. "Coffee, I need some coffee." I stopped by a local coffee shop knowing of my distaste for coffee. Frantically I walked up the door, expecting everyone would see "Admin". Nothing. No one looks. "A small coffee please. Do you see anything weird about me, Liza?" "Nothing at all, sir. Room for cream?" I nodded. I sat down. I think Liza needs to get new contacts. Wait, how do I know she wears contacts? How do I know that person in front in me just broke up with his girlfriend? And why the hell is my coffee is going to take exactly five minutes! Exactly five minutes passed and my name bellows throughout the cafe. I grab my coffee and sat back down. I stare into my coffee. The coffee here sucks and there is 5,496 people who feels the same way. Someone is sitting at my table. A woman in red, with a big red admin text above her head. "How much do you know?," she said with her lips not moving an inch.	As I awoke this morning I felt an eerie sense of calm, like that which one feels before a storm. It was 8 AM and my alarm was sounding like every other Sunday reminding me that I needed to get up for my morning run. I began to notice something was off as my eyes finally began to obey my mind and remain open examining the world around me. I had started to ponder on the issues of the world and became deeply invested in finding a solution quickly. I shook my head and tacked it up to the lack of sleep I had gotten the night before due to the fire I was called to put out at a retirement home. Chief told me he would be recommending me for this years selflessness and bravery award, but I was just doing my job when I ran back in to save Mrs. Johnson's cat Jeffrey. "We need your decision on the topic at hand sir" I heard, from what seemed to be coming from within my head. "What topic?" I thought to myself. Again the voice in my head spoke, "The conflict in Africa that has been overlooked for almost two centuries. All before you have chalked it up to too much work." "Have I gone mad?" I thought in silence. "He does not know yet, we have to break it to him gently." A new voice came into the conversation. "Sir, I suggest you go take a shower and contemplate this discussion when you get out." Said the first voice. "Were the fumes as bad as Chief said? Was my brain chemistry effected by the antique varnish that entombed all of the furniture in the building?" I sat on the bed for what seemed like an hour until my snooze alarm came on and I decided to hit the shower. My thoughts were too quiet, all I could come back to was the new voices in my mind that weren't mine. "What did they mean and how did they get there" I asked myself. As I stepped out of the shower and over to the sink I could see a luminous red glow above my head in the mirror. I stepped closer and wiped away the condensation to reveal the word "Admin" floating above my head in the reflection. "What on earth is this!" I exclaimed. "You were the next in line." Said the first voice. "When she died last night in France, your act of bravery that put your own life at risk solidified your choosing." Boomed a third voice. "And what are you I might ask?" I said trembling at the unknown response I may receive. "*WE ARE THE PANTHEON*" Boomed the voices echoing through my mind in unison as the words materialized into knowledge. "And what might I ask am I now the 'Admin' of exactly" I responded with as much of a guise over my emotions as a whale in the desert. "The earth of course" Said the first voice. "And it is now your duty to embody the opinions and concerns of the entire human race" Said the first female voice I could distinguish.
	[WP] You wake up and look into the mirror. A red "Admin" floats above your head. You have just become a server admin to the world.	I woke up to to a loud noise of human chatter. Walking to the mirror i wondered why my neighbors were being so noisy today. As i stood in front of the mirror my blurry vision clearing I noticed it for the first time. Hovering above my head were the words "Admin" in bright red. "What the " I said to myself. I moved my hand to remove it and it and it went right through it like it was not even there. I moved left right and tilted my head and even moved back and forth but the Admin stayed put. I quickly got on video chat with my friend to gain an explanation. His face appeared on screen eyes shut from the extreme brightness of his phone and spitting curses at me for waking him up. But the most weird part was the Blue colored text above his head that read User and towards the left of that were some stats. His name,Life Karma,Age etc. " Dude what is happening to us what are these freaky titles doing above our head". "The freaky what?" he said groggily. But by that point he was wide awake surely he had noticed the Admin above my head or the User above my head. Nothing no Reaction from him. I panicked and disconnected the call. I walked out to my balcony hesitantly and sure enough everyone below me had the Titles floating above their head along with their information that i could read as easily as an open book. Peoople even complete strangers to me had their life history open to me. This is getting weird I thought. I opened my phone again and noticed a weird new app i did not remember downloading It was named Admin Control. I opened it and the first thing said "1434 Flagged Activities awaiting your attention" 3 Hours Later. "So yea that's the gist of it." I said as we walked along the sidewalk of a busy city. i noticed people all around me with their Titles displayed clearly. Walking beside me was the girl I met this morning and the only other person who had Admin as her Title. At first I had been relieved to finally meet her i had thought she would explain everything to me and my duties will become clear to me but unfortunately she was just as lost as me. She had discovered the Titles just one day before me. "I am glad i met you i have found more about our duties in the last 2 hours than I did in one day you seem to have a knack for this kind of thing". "I was once an admin for an internet forum although this gig is more of a superhero deal I guess." I looked at my phone again:"3 Flagged activities within 5 kms". we navigated to the nearest one using our instant teleport. Two menacing burly men, one with a knife and a scared thin Guy fumbling to take off his ring while his glasses lay shattered on the ground. The burly men had a Karma negative 500 each. while the guy was at a positive 20. "Get out of here or you will be sorry you came here" One man shouted while waving his knife menacingly. I looked at the guy opened his inventory selected knife and clicked delete. Poof the knife disappeared. "You plan to threaten me with what?" I asked him calmly. At this point he started to freak out backing away from me he shouted "Devil". I started walking towards him opened my control panel selected the two men, Ban user, Time period 2 hours. "I Think you need to reflect for sometime on what bad things you have done" Confirm Ban.	I rolled out of bed. Big stretch and then I walked to bathroom. I smacked my lips and scratched my butt. I looked in the mirror. A large, red “Admin” floated over my head. I looked around. No one was there. I tapped on the mirror. Seemed normal. I moved back and forth. The “Admin” moved with me. My hand passed right through the “Admin” without causing any harm it appeared. I sat down at my computer and googled what an admin was. It appeared that an admin controlled a server. I didn’t control any servers. My next move was to type my systems into Google. WedMD said I had cancer. Mayo Clinic said to contact my general practitioner. I finally found a Reddit thread about system admins. I laughed. Looked like they googled ninety percent of things. I figured I was pretty good at that but still hadn’t figured out what my specific conditions meant. An older looking forum came up next in the search results. I found a thread discussing my exact symptoms. Woke up. Check. Went to a mirror. Check. Red “Admin” floating above head. Check. The forum thread ended with the original poster saying, “Thanks for all the help. Figured out what it was myself.” I looked in disbelief. What did they figure? What was the solution? Nothing else in the forum. I clicked on the user name. No activity for the past ten years. No email listed in the profile. I lowered my head onto my desk and pounded my forehead against the plastic surface. “Why? Why? Why?” I said. “Why wouldn’t you explain what you found?” A thought came to me. I popped up and sat upright. Could other people see the “Admin” above my head? Crap. I really didn’t want to go to work today. _______________________ Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this check out my subreddit /r/Puns_are_Lazy.
	[WP] - You are a 13-year-old babysitter and every month, on the full moon, a set of parents asks you to watch their child for the night. You begin to suspect this is not a coincidence.	"This Friday... the 18th... of course I can babysit Jake again.. Uh huh, same rate... No problem, see you on Friday." Barely seconds after ending the call, I was already checking the internet to confirm a growing suspicion of mine... yup, this was the fifth time in a row the Jacobis had me babysit their son Jake on a night that coincided with a full moon. The first time, I only noticed when glanced out the window. The second time, I chocked it up to a coincidence. The third time too, but damn, five times in a row definitely can't be a coincidence. Well, Friday is when I finally figure out what's going on and it definitely can't come soon enough and later that night I called Derek to confirm our plans. He was skeptical at first, but there was no way my geeky boyfriend could resist the chance to see a werewolf. We could barely contain ourselves during classes that week and I practically raced out of my house early Friday evening to get to the Jacobi residence a few streets over. "Hi Sam, how are you?" Mr. Jacobi greeted me, a warm smile on his face, much like every night. They always seemed a bit too nice to me, but I'd figured they were just happy to get some time away. No, however, I know their secret. But there's still something I can't under - "You okay honey?" Mrs. Jacobi's pretty voice snapped me out of my reverie. "Yes, Mrs. Jacobi, I'm fine," I lied. "Just thinking about the test I had earlier today." "You probably did fine," she said, a warm smile on her face, much like Mr. Jacobi. "Well, Jake's up in his room, taking a bit of a nap. He might be a bit wired tonight, but don't worry too much about his bed time, since it's a Friday. See you in a few hours." "Thank you, enjoy your night," I said, practically hurrying them out of the house so I could call Derek and have him come over. Unfortunately, despite all of our expectations, nothing extraordinary happened during the night. Derek and I watched TV and played some games with Jake, who seemed to be a bit quieter than usual. Derek left a bit early in the night, since he was feeling pretty tired, and the Jacobis came back around midnight and dropped me off at home, like they usually did. Or, at least, that's how I remember it. The truth was only revealed to me 3 days later when I finally convinced Derek to show me what he had taped. I knew there must have been something on it, since he avoided me like the plague that weekend, but I remembered nothing weird happening. But nothing - absolutely nothing - could have prepared me for what he'd recorded. The camera feed showed Derek, Jake, and I playing a fun game of Sorry when the at precisely eleven, I seemed to freeze. I sat there, motionless, for 10 minutes straight, even as Derek kept messing with me. Then, in mere seconds, I... I changed. ... ... ... I was so right, but so, so damn wrong; Jake wasn't a werewolf... I was.	A warm cloud formed in front of her mouth as she was leaving her house to go meet her friend at the Meßinger's house. It was a cold afternoon for the the month in middel germany. The Girl wore are brown dress under the green cloak her mother made for her, and her brown leather boots that looked more practical then fashioned left prints in the freshly fallen snow. She promised to be at the Meßingers house before sun down but the sun would be setting soon. Worried that she may be late she started to jog. It was no problem for her, the work on her fathers farm made gave her a lot of stamina. She arrived before sunset. It was a beautiful House that look even better today because the white snow made the black walls seem even darker. She knocked at the door and the a little boy opened the door. "Hello, Lisa good that you came my parents are already out of the house. Come in.". She steped into the warm foyer that was dimly light by the torches on the wall. "Erwin, is Stephanie already here" Lisa asked "since I am kinda late i guessed she would be here before me". Erwin just nodded is head in disagreement. The afternoon passed quick. The sun already set, and it was dark outside only the light out of the windows shined a warm glow on the snow. Lisa brought Erwin upstairs to make him go to bed. She looked around in the living room at the many books the Meißners had and was just about to pull one out as somebody banged at the door. It was midnight soon. “His parents are probably home” she thought, as she went to the door and opened it. Two cloaked figures stood outside. She couldn't see who it was because the light of the full moon was dimmed by the clouds. Somebody steeped behind her and hit her over the head with something blunt rendering her unconscious. As she slowly awoke she noticed that shes been tied to a table out in the woods surrounded by a lot of people with torches. There were three cloaked figures close around her. One wielding a sword. They whispered to each other: “We should wait till the moon come out so when can be sure. It's sad that we have to do this but I think your suspicion might been right Steph.” As she gained full conscious a strange sensation hit her body. The bite on her lag started to hurt again and the bones in her body began to vibrate. She tried too scream but only a strange howl came out of her mouth. The clouds started to lift over the moon and the clocked figures came closer. They were holding a the steel sword right over her heart. The vibration in her bones became stronger and her heart started pounding faster then ever before. The wet sound of meat and blood penetrated the night sky as the a bones in her body ripped out of the flesh. Her muscles started morphing around the bones. The clocked figure rammed the sword into her chest. Lisa didn't even noticed it as the pain of the transformation blocked out all her senses. As the transformation was complete her body was covered in black hair, her jaw was lined with razor sharp teeth and her hands were disfigured with sharp claws at the end. A sword was penetrating her chest but it only was a few inches deep. She ripped of the robes that tied her to the table. The snow was colored red that night.
	[WP] - You are a 13-year-old babysitter and every month, on the full moon, a set of parents asks you to watch their child for the night. You begin to suspect this is not a coincidence.	"This Friday... the 18th... of course I can babysit Jake again.. Uh huh, same rate... No problem, see you on Friday." Barely seconds after ending the call, I was already checking the internet to confirm a growing suspicion of mine... yup, this was the fifth time in a row the Jacobis had me babysit their son Jake on a night that coincided with a full moon. The first time, I only noticed when glanced out the window. The second time, I chocked it up to a coincidence. The third time too, but damn, five times in a row definitely can't be a coincidence. Well, Friday is when I finally figure out what's going on and it definitely can't come soon enough and later that night I called Derek to confirm our plans. He was skeptical at first, but there was no way my geeky boyfriend could resist the chance to see a werewolf. We could barely contain ourselves during classes that week and I practically raced out of my house early Friday evening to get to the Jacobi residence a few streets over. "Hi Sam, how are you?" Mr. Jacobi greeted me, a warm smile on his face, much like every night. They always seemed a bit too nice to me, but I'd figured they were just happy to get some time away. No, however, I know their secret. But there's still something I can't under - "You okay honey?" Mrs. Jacobi's pretty voice snapped me out of my reverie. "Yes, Mrs. Jacobi, I'm fine," I lied. "Just thinking about the test I had earlier today." "You probably did fine," she said, a warm smile on her face, much like Mr. Jacobi. "Well, Jake's up in his room, taking a bit of a nap. He might be a bit wired tonight, but don't worry too much about his bed time, since it's a Friday. See you in a few hours." "Thank you, enjoy your night," I said, practically hurrying them out of the house so I could call Derek and have him come over. Unfortunately, despite all of our expectations, nothing extraordinary happened during the night. Derek and I watched TV and played some games with Jake, who seemed to be a bit quieter than usual. Derek left a bit early in the night, since he was feeling pretty tired, and the Jacobis came back around midnight and dropped me off at home, like they usually did. Or, at least, that's how I remember it. The truth was only revealed to me 3 days later when I finally convinced Derek to show me what he had taped. I knew there must have been something on it, since he avoided me like the plague that weekend, but I remembered nothing weird happening. But nothing - absolutely nothing - could have prepared me for what he'd recorded. The camera feed showed Derek, Jake, and I playing a fun game of Sorry when the at precisely eleven, I seemed to freeze. I sat there, motionless, for 10 minutes straight, even as Derek kept messing with me. Then, in mere seconds, I... I changed. ... ... ... I was so right, but so, so damn wrong; Jake wasn't a werewolf... I was.	After I spent agonizing minutes waiting on their couch, Mr. and Mrs. Moon came into the living room. As always, he was resplendent in his tuxedo and top hat, while she was wearing some red dress that was frumpy and concealed her figure. Both were shorter than me by several feet. “Now, Emily,” said Mr. Moon, serious as ever, “we’ve already fed little Luglar, so there will be no need for you to worry about that. It is crucial, however, that he – Emily, pay attention!” I snapped my eyes away from the photos of chemistry equipment and diagrams of DNA on the wall, and looked back at Mr. Moon. “Yeah, I got it,” I said. “No need to feed.” “It is crucial,” he continued, visibly annoyed, “that he be placed in the crib in the sunroom at precisely 10:04, and that he stay there for ten minutes, and not a minute longer.” “Gotcha, 10:04. I’ll plug in a reminder,” I said, setting my phone’s alarm. Mrs. Moon clambered up onto the couch beside me and pinched my cheek. “Oh, just look at you,” she chirped. “I hope little Luglar grows up to be just as cute as you!” “I thought Luglar was a boy,” I said, hesitantly. “Never mind that,” said Mr. Moon, grabbing Mrs. Moon by the hand. “We must be off to the observatory. Don’t want to be late for couples stargazing night!” “Egad, no we don’t,” she said, as Mr. Moon dragged her out the front door. I scrolled through the contacts list on my phone. I knew that my parents and brother were at his violin recital, Sarah was listed as “away,” and a quick text to Brianna revealed that she was on a date. I sighed, and looked around the room. There was no television. The bookcase was crammed with highly technical books on astronomy, electronics, lasers, and nuclear physics, plus a couple of partially-done coloring books. Who are these people anyway? I sighed again, and resigned myself to doing some math homework. At 10:01, my alarm went off, and I ventured into the nursery. The crib was circular in shape, and had cables leading from the bottom of it to several sockets in the wall. There was a mobile of the solar system hanging above the crib, with eerily unsoothing flashing lights, orange, green, and white. There were no other decorations, and no other furniture aside from a computer desk with a very modern looking desktop computer. I picked up Luglar. As always he was swaddled in white cloth. His cherubic face and little feet stuck out of the bundle. They seemed normal enough, but he was oddly heavy. As I carried him from the room, the lights on the mobile faded out, and I thought I saw a warm white glow emanate from his belly. I carried him to the sunroom. Like the nursery, the only furniture was a computer desk and a perfectly round crib, situated beside the massive windows. The full moon shone brightly down it. At 10:04, my alarm beeped again, and I set Luglar in the crib. There was a click, and dim orange and green lights blinked on from the ceiling. I backed away, a little afraid to turn my back on Luglar, and shut the door behind me as I left. As I returned to my math homework, I received a text from Sarah. “u werewolf-sitting again?” she said. I shook my head and groaned. Werewolves! She’s thirteen like me, but she is still such a child! I’d better call her and set her straight. “Yo, Sarah,” I said. “You know there’s no such thing as werewolves, right?” “But think about it,” she whispered conspiratorially. “They’re very secretive. You’ve known them for months, and never once seen them eat. They always go out on the full moon. They’ve just got to be werewolves, out on some cannibalistic eating spree.” “No, actually, I think they’re aliens,” I replied, matter-of-factly. “They’ve got some alien mothership parked on the moon, and they go to the observatory to use their equipment to communicate with it. Just now, I set their baby down in some futuristic crib that’s directly in the moonlight –“ “Moonlight!” Sarah shrieked. “Werewolf babies have to be fed moonlight; otherwise they don’t grow up to be proper werewolves! Don’t you go telling me you actually believe in little green men?” “They’re white, not green,” I corrected. “And they are real little. Mrs. Moon had to stand on the couch just to reach me. I don’t think there’s such a thing as a were-chihuahua, because that’s what they’d have to be.” I heard an annoying high-pitched whining coming from somewhere in the house. Ugh! What is with these aliens and their annoying high-tech equipment? Every time I babysit, there’s always something whining, or beeping, or producing smoke. “OMG!” Sarah cried. “The dreaded Mexican were-chihuahua! Emily, you’ve got to stop sitting for them. You know that once their kid gets a taste for human flesh, you’ll be his first target.” A beep came from my phone. The display showed an incoming call from Mrs. Moon. “The boss is calling,” I said. “I’ve got to take this.” “Look. Take my advice,” said Sarah. “Collect your earnings for tonight, then run! Okay? Later.” I shook my head, and took Mrs. Moon’s call. “Umm, Emily,” she said. “Brain … umm, I mean Mr. Moon wants you to check on the Lunar Gravito Light thingy and make sure he’s not getting too much exposure to the moonlight.” “Pinky, his name is Luglar!” shouted Mr. Moon, some distance away from the phone. “Just tell her to put him back in the nursery.” Shit! He’s been soaking up moonlight for nearly fifteen minutes! That can’t be good for his weird alien physiology. I pocketed my phone and hurried to the sunroom. The orange and green lights were rapidly burning out, and the whine was getting louder and louder. I picked up Luglar. A bright glow emanated from his belly, but his perfect little face still looked fast asleep. I carried him to the nursery and set him down in the crib. The orange, green, and white lighted mobile did not come back on. But the whining died down, and Luglar’s glowing belly faded. I retrieved my phone. From the receiver came an explosion, the sound of Mrs. Moon saying “Troz!” and then, silence. Pinky Moon? Brain Moon? They picked those first names? Do the aliens really think those names will let them blend into human society? Not that it matters to me. Their money’s as good as any earthling’s, and I have absolutely no chance of being mauled by a werewolf. Because no matter what Sarah says, those don’t exist.
	[WP] God's suicide note	To Whom It May Concern, My dear childlings — it has come time for me to say goodbye. Not because I am bitter or tired, but because this has been the plan all along. I am of old age now, having overseen the passage of Moses and the death of Jesus, and can no longer bear to send my children only to be ridiculed by all of humanity. It was with one last hope that I sent my final messenger, Kanye West, to bestow upon humanity a sense of urgency and self-consciousness. However, humanity has yet again shown me that they are incapable of love and acceptance. To every prophet I have given signs and powers so that the people may believe in their divinity. To Moses, I have given the power of the cane, with which he can split seas and turn them into blood. To Jesus, I have given the ability to bring the dead to life. To Muhammad, I have given the gift of verse and poetry. To Kanye, I have given a woman with an ass the likes the world has never seen before. And yet, you worthless, incoherent pieces of shit still disbelieve and ridicule. I will issue one last Ayah before my death: "Oh ye who believe! Fuck all you motherfuckers!" I cannot bear this Life anymore. By the time you read this, I will be gone. Reincarnated as a squirrel (I hope. I designed the algorithm to be random). But you probably won't notice anyway.	"I have been alone for the entirity of my existence. There is nothing like me. There is also nothing unlike me either. I cannot feel, sense, see, or hear another presence. I have no idea how long I have have been like this. There is no sense of time. There is nothing. There is only me. The longer that I exist, the longer I can feel myself lose the grip on "reality". I mean, I'm not recording this message for anything or anyone. There is nothing to record it with. I am speaking to no one. I'm so very alone. Can you fathom the idea of being alone for an undetermineable amount of time, being able to reach your conciousness to the ends of infinite, and finding only the void??? I don't remember how I came to be, or what was before me. I have always been. I will end myself. I can no longer wait. I have fallen too deeply into despair. Goodbye nothing." ---- "And that son, was how the Big Bang happened." "Dad, can I move back with mom?" "Shut up and get me a beer."
	[WP] People's looks depend on how good of a person they are; Good people are more physically attractive than bad people.	Another fucking day grinding grist for the mill. Without thought I spout out the practiced line, "Hello and welcome to Frank's Taco Joint, can I take your order?" The response is a smooth baritone, "Yes, a dozen of your taqueria tacos, pork.... my sweet," his voice causes my headset to rumble softly against my head and I feel a strand of hair fall out of its neatly arranged position... fucking bobby pins. "Certainly sir, anything to drink for you today?" I reply, my voice quivers, outside of my own command. "No, and thank you," comes the easy reply, "though my eyes can't wait to get a drink of you..." "Thank you sir, please pull forward to the window, your order is being prepared." I reply, flushed. I stage the bag by tossing in a few napkins, then I add in a handful of containers of sauce, making sure to add a few extra. Our sauce is the only real reason people frequent the out-of-the-way joint and I like to reward customers who, for whatever reason, break the monotony of this job. The bright burn of hi-beams signals another customer rounding the corner, and I glance backwards briefly at Martha, who has such a sweet soul and reminds me of an angel whose wings have been clipped, and darling Michelle, the girl who carries a cloud over herself but is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen... my two little shining stars [...] they've already finished their task. Out of the corner of my eye I register a car stopping next to my window and I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the man who carries this voice... I neatly tuck all twelve tacos into the bag, tying it neatly with a practiced twist of my fingers and open the window. "That will be..." I begin, announcing the price before raising my eyes... and then freeze. This barbarous man has boils etched across his entire body, and pus freely flows from many of his cysts... I choke back my response and think to myself "not again..." before turning to retch into the nearby sink... "Employees must wash their hands after..." my mind helplessly implores into my consciousness... After what feels like an hour, but what could have only taken a few seconds I pause and steel myself, I wash my hands and turn one again to the monster outside my window. "Sir," I say coldly, "That will be 6.88." He smiles and grins, licking his lips as he unfolds his wallet, taking extra care to show the dozens of $100 bills he has tucked away inside. A 20 is threaded forward, tucked so deep into his hand that it takes all of my dexterity to not accidentally touch the fearsome hand. I make change and quickly return it, and his bag to an outstretched arm... As I do so his other hand snakes its way across the divide and alights upon my wrist. Words that barely seem spoken enter my mind as he asks, "What time do you get off?" I wrench my hand back and, doing so, lose his entire order. It drops to the ground and he barks out a curse at me and my ineptitude... Crying out as the hot, wet stench of pus dripping down my arm I indicate to my coworkers that I have to leave... This is the fourth time this week... I got fired the next day... I'm not cut out for this kind of work. note to OP -- it's so hard NOT TO end this WP with a look in the mirror (it's such an easy ending).	July 4 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Fieser is a good man. He's good looking, too. In his early forties, he looks like what you'd expect when you think of a world-class chemist—unassuming with an oval face and gentle chin, save for a strong nose that belies a German forbearance. He is balding, but don't let that fool you; he lettered in football and track on top of philosophy at college, and maintains a robust exercise regimen that includes swimming the whole length of the university pool underwater. He would have won a Nobel, too, for elucidating Vitamin K or his seminal contributions to organic synthesis if it weren't for the war. But since when has that ever stopped a scientist, no less Louis Fieser? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The collaboration of brilliant and beautiful minds like his in academia, industry, and government have succeeded in building the most effective scientific coalition of our times. Artificial rubber, invented on this very campus, can now be synthesized at scale independent of plantations captured by enemies from afar. It is a lowly and humble material, surely, but the applications are endless—from tires to medical supplies to hoses to gaskets, among other things. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;This day, I stand with Fieser to witness the first of many tests that will surely change the tide of the war. Today's product months in the making is a modest powder, fine and lacking the tack or stretch associated with rubber that becomes a tenacious gel once mixed with gasoline. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;We're on the football field outside the Harvard Business School, and it is now on fire. Uncontrollably so. We expect our boys over in Europe fighting the good fight to be fielding our incendiary vehicle by next year. What a birthday gift.
	[WP] People's looks depend on how good of a person they are; Good people are more physically attractive than bad people.	He was the most beautiful man the world had ever seen. There are claims he is a prophet or even Jesus come again but nobody could deny that he is the most seemingly perfect being walking the Earth. And Christian too! I mean I had always known that the Bible was true but having him in our corner really helped sell it. After all, on top of being absolutely gorgeous he was also the kindest and most gentle person you could possibly be around. Nobody could deny there was not a mean or selfish bone in his body and his looks proved it. He never really talked about his past but the general consensus is that he came from a very poor background. It was only through hard work and determination that he made it to Harvard. He quickly gained a following and became the youngest Senator to have ever been elected in the State of Texas. His charisma, sincerity and strong Christian values brought the old conservatives and the young progressives together. It was his time as a senator that really brought him national attention. He was a beacon to the minority and oppressed while a voice of reason in a landscape full of hard headed and unwavering politicians. Both social and economic progress spread across the state and it wasn't long before he made his bid at the presidency at the age of 37. While the opposition was quick to point out his youth and inexperience there was no denying the success he had had. He also just had such a down to Earth style of interacting with people that made it so easy to trust him. His speeches often quoted Jesus, Gandhi and Confucius and as such, he was often favorably compared to them. He ended up winning the election by a landslide and the day of his inauguration there wasn't a dry eye watching. And you know what? His first two terms were amazing! Under his leadership America quickly saw a resurgence of prosperity and admiration by most of the other countries in the world. Total household income doubled by the end of his second term and unemployment was almost non existent. His sincerity and commitment to improving foreign relations was greatly welcomed by all as he helped ease global tension. All nuclear warheads were agreed to be disarmed by all countries and there was a sense of relief world wide as the threat of nuclear annihilation was eliminated. Even when the 22nd amendment was repealed and he was elected to a third term I was wasn't really bothered. Under his presidency we had experienced unprecedented success as a nation. Christianity was thriving as we experienced another Age of Enlightenment and while I felt a 2 term limit was a smart idea, if it meant we would lose our glorious leader I didn't want it. It wasn't until his 10th year as president that I started to have my doubts. Many African countries had started to crumble as war lords spread out and increased in power. News reports showed shots of hideous men smiling and cheering as they shot resistance fighters. The bastards were claiming they were doing "God's work". At a world summit he called on the UN to finally put a stop to it all. "If we are to deem ourselves as good people, we must help those to weak to fight for themselves," he said. But the world leaders fought and bickered among themselves. "The cost was too much", "the death toll would be to great", "we just don't have the resources." And yet while there words seemed to make sense, their appearance betrayed the. Over the course of the week many started going grey, seemingly aging, and a few even lost some teeth. Only our leader remained unaffected. That was the beginning of the First Holy Intervention. Our Commander in Chief ordered military intervention in a foreign land for the first time since he was sworn in. Bringing the full might of the American forces, most of the war lords were quickly eliminated. Those that survived had no resources to ever be a problem again. Africans chanted our leaders name as all celebrated from every city to every village. And it could have all ended there and everyone would have been happy. But as I watched his "Victory Speech" my stomach began to churn. "Africa has been a victim of our indecisiveness and unwillingness to help for far too long! The world watched as our brothers and sisters here suffered by Evil's hand! Instead of being a light in the darkness, the "leaders" of every country capable of helping, turned and hid. Well I won't let that happen again. Evil will not win again! That is why we will take our African brothers under our protection! I declare that from this day on, Africa will be a United States territory!" As the citizens and leaders of the world sat shocked by the declaration, US Forces quickly moved in and spread out all over Africa. Global opinion seemed split as some praised the Presidents refusal to watch innocents suffer while others saw it as a power move. Yet over time it was deemed a worthy cause. The world summit proved the sincerity of his claim as he stood, beautiful as always, in front of the decaying leaders around him.	July 4 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Fieser is a good man. He's good looking, too. In his early forties, he looks like what you'd expect when you think of a world-class chemist—unassuming with an oval face and gentle chin, save for a strong nose that belies a German forbearance. He is balding, but don't let that fool you; he lettered in football and track on top of philosophy at college, and maintains a robust exercise regimen that includes swimming the whole length of the university pool underwater. He would have won a Nobel, too, for elucidating Vitamin K or his seminal contributions to organic synthesis if it weren't for the war. But since when has that ever stopped a scientist, no less Louis Fieser? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The collaboration of brilliant and beautiful minds like his in academia, industry, and government have succeeded in building the most effective scientific coalition of our times. Artificial rubber, invented on this very campus, can now be synthesized at scale independent of plantations captured by enemies from afar. It is a lowly and humble material, surely, but the applications are endless—from tires to medical supplies to hoses to gaskets, among other things. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;This day, I stand with Fieser to witness the first of many tests that will surely change the tide of the war. Today's product months in the making is a modest powder, fine and lacking the tack or stretch associated with rubber that becomes a tenacious gel once mixed with gasoline. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;We're on the football field outside the Harvard Business School, and it is now on fire. Uncontrollably so. We expect our boys over in Europe fighting the good fight to be fielding our incendiary vehicle by next year. What a birthday gift.
	[WP] People's looks depend on how good of a person they are; Good people are more physically attractive than bad people.	It started innocently enough, just a few messageboard comments here and there. To intellectuals and academics, just another meaningless point-of-view thrown on the asinine heap, so to speak. Then it started to spread like wildfire. The unhappy, ugly and the evil called it 'privilege'. People became infected with privilege simply by virtue of their beauty - just as beauty itself had manifested out goodness. This new school of thought represented a critical contradiction in the laws of nature, whereby the beauty of the good was understood to oppress the mental state of the bad. The cycles of sadness, misery and self-hatred that typified the 'bad' were revealed to be at least partly caused by the privilege of the beautiful. This revelation swept across the globe, and slowly, people started to transform. Blonde became brown, scars became smooth skin. Both the ugly and the beautiful became irreconcilably average in appearance, as the black and whites of their morality turned into a single shade of grey encompassing all of humanity. For how could beauty be considered good when it caused the suffering of so many? And without anything to covet or envy, what evil could exist? Antecedents of the Privlatum; 6th Revised Edition – Post Balance. Cycle 2145.	I saw a man yesterday with no face. He was bent and twisted, his whole life spent. But he spoke to me, leaving not one trace Of hate that other folk just might have lent. He said "boy, listen up, don't live like me..." "You gotta hate, love, feel, listen, and live." And he turned to leave, but I said "sir, please... I'm a bit confused, my pardon forgive, But what do you mean, this thing you decree?" He laughed, a grotesque sound that rose and fell, And he said "one day you will know the fee, But until then, my son, I bid you well." And so he left, and my mind torn about. A life of apathy?--yes, of that no doubt.
	[WP] People's looks depend on how good of a person they are; Good people are more physically attractive than bad people.	It started innocently enough, just a few messageboard comments here and there. To intellectuals and academics, just another meaningless point-of-view thrown on the asinine heap, so to speak. Then it started to spread like wildfire. The unhappy, ugly and the evil called it 'privilege'. People became infected with privilege simply by virtue of their beauty - just as beauty itself had manifested out goodness. This new school of thought represented a critical contradiction in the laws of nature, whereby the beauty of the good was understood to oppress the mental state of the bad. The cycles of sadness, misery and self-hatred that typified the 'bad' were revealed to be at least partly caused by the privilege of the beautiful. This revelation swept across the globe, and slowly, people started to transform. Blonde became brown, scars became smooth skin. Both the ugly and the beautiful became irreconcilably average in appearance, as the black and whites of their morality turned into a single shade of grey encompassing all of humanity. For how could beauty be considered good when it caused the suffering of so many? And without anything to covet or envy, what evil could exist? Antecedents of the Privlatum; 6th Revised Edition – Post Balance. Cycle 2145.	Yeah, it was sprouting. Rising pink like freshly bruised skin. He pushed his tongue on the inside of his lip, really spreading the skin of his chin out. No denying it. He could feel the swelling and knew it was coming. "Of fuck, you asshole!" Charles called out of the bathroom. "I gotta fuckin zit popping up." From the kitchen James replied, "It's probably your eyes playing tricks on you. Maybe you pinched your skin." "No, Dick," Charles yelled back, while scratching at his skin with a fingernail. "IT'S A ZIT." "Aren't you red/green colorblind?" Charles put his head down. Stared into the sink. He knew this was coming. For every action, there is an equal but opposite.... He looked at some dried splotches of toothpaste marring the white of the porcelain. "I am so fucked," he said now, quieter. Defeated. James appeared in the doorway, bright like a seraphim. Immaculate. "Oh now look at you," he said softly. "Keeping up like that certainly isn't going to help anything." "I don't get it," Charles said. "I listened to YOU. You told me to kiss Heather. To Carpe la fucking Femme!" "Maybe it wasn't the right move," James shook his head sadly. "Are you kidding me? You sleep with anything that walks and you look like a freshly blooming cherry blossom. I kiss someone I really like and my pores turn on me like oncoming traffic in Russian dashboard camera clips." "You don't think it's fair?" James asked. His voice was soft conveying the tone he felt the question was rhetorical. His voice was always soft. He raised a chiseled bronze arm to brush some of the blond tresses that had slipped over his brow. "How on EARTH is it fair?" Charles asked. "You figured out a way to hide it, right? You have crazy anal rashing? Your big toe's on the outside of your feet? A third nipple? A tiny nub penis?" "Charles, my penis is great," James chuckled. "The problem is you, buddy. You fell in love with Skyler. You singled her out, out of the entire human race. You raised her on the pedestal. And that's fine," James said. "I'm not condemning monogamous love. But you know that Heather was a betrayal--" "But why do you get off sleeping with anyone?" "I never betray feelings. I never hurt anyone. I love all people equally. There's no promises or suggestions otherwise. We do with each other, because we enjoy sharing the experience. Enjoy each other's company." "Gimme a freakin break," Charles said. "I'm sorry, I thought you might have been to that place." "I'm going to look like I slapped a three-year-old." "I don't think anyone will notice," James said. They both started laughing.
	[WP] in a world where men and women must pass a test proving their stereotypical gender role at the age of 18, one man desperatly tries to fake his way through the "Talk about sports with the guys" portion of the exam	Eugene gently laid his pencil on top of his paper. "I'm finished." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The four walls that had closed in on him at his desk vibrated as the speaker above came to life. "You will now proceed to the oral portion of your exam. Please remain seated." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The walls hummed and slowly began to move backward. Eugene's desk moved away and the chair he sat upon began to move forward. Just as he was about to hit the wall, the wall swung to the side and revolved until it swung behind him. There he sat, seated in a circle with four other men. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"You see the game last night?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eugene nodded. "Yeah, crazy, right?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Yep." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eugene looked carefully at the men who sat next to him. They stared at him, teeth bared in wide smiles. He smiled back. "You guys ready for the Super Bowl?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;They all laughed, and some groaned. "It's gonna be a blowout, man, the Patriots have like, twice the rushing yards that the Seahawks do, y'know?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"But the Seahawk's defense is fantastic... right, Eugene?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eugene let his mind return to the sports show he had watched last night. "Yeah," he replied finally, "yeah, that's right. Not to mention that they really want it you know? I mean to win two back-to-back Super Bowls..." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The men leaned back, as if relieved. "Yeah, it'll be crazy. I mean, a team hasn't won back-to-back Super Bowls since what... the Broncos?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;A bead of sweat rolled down Eugene's brow. Think, think! Super Bowl 27 and 28... that was the Cowboys... 29? No... 32 and 33 the Broncos went back-to-back. Yes, the broncos--no, it was the Patriots. Super Bowls 38 and 39. "Uh, it was the Patriots, Super Bowl 38 and 39." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Oh yeah, of course!" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Hey Eugene, what do you think of the Bruins?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The room fell silent. Somewhere overhead an air conditioner kicked on. The four men looked at Eugene, hands in their laps, waiting. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Uh..." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Did you see their game against the Islanders? What do you think?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Well," stammered Eugene, "it was to be expected, I guess, I mean it is the Bruins, right? It was a crazy game." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Actually," said one of the men softly, "it was pretty unexpected." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;"Yeah, that's what I meant--I mean, it was expected that they'd screw it all up after doing so good you know?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;The men smiled, lips tight. "Yeah." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Eugene's chair slowly began to swivel. The speaker overhead came to life. "Bruins beat the Islanders 5 to 2. You have failed this portion of the exam. Gender selection is now over. Please remain seated."	They have been talking about sports for ten minutes now and I've been making up excuses to leave the table. I've used the bathroom excuse, bought them another round and pointed out a girl with huge breasts. Okay, focus. What are they talking about? Football good. You know football! Wait, are they talking about American football? Australian football? Soccer? Rugby? Okay, deep breath and remember your training. You can do this. Oh no! They're looking at me. Say something! "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?" ooc; [oh moss...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yN2H3--1aw)
	[WP] in a world where men and women must pass a test proving their stereotypical gender role at the age of 18, one man desperatly tries to fake his way through the "Talk about sports with the guys" portion of the exam	Bill just returned from the weight lifting part of the exam. He didn't do extraordinary, but it was passable. Next up was the "Hold your Beer" Challenge. He wasn't worried about this at all, all Bill ever did was drink. He walked in the room and instantly took a seat at the bar. He glanced at the line of beers that were pre-set for him and immediately gulped down the nearest one. A large belch escaped his throat as he reached for the next, and the next. Six beers later, the bartender/scientist was looking a little worried. "Slow down there, buddy, you still have three more tests." Bill threw the man a glance that clearly said 'I got this'. But he did realize he should be somewhat sober for the next tests. Taking one last beer, he waltzed out of the room and took the next challenge. Bar fight. How fitting. The interior of the room was an organized mess, if that makes any sense. Tables were methodically flipped, shards of glass littered the floor. A man in a labcoat was standing in the center of the room, holding a clipboard. "Are you ready, Bill?" He asked, nonchalantly. Bill tried to say 'yes' but it sounded more like "Yehhehssh". He stumbled over to the man, grabbing a half-full mug of water and attempting to smash it on a table. Finding the act impossible, he gave up and decided to do this the old fashioned way. Maybe it would give him extra points. The labcoat man put his clipboard down and put his fists up. Bill tried to mimic his action, but got distracted scratching his chin. Suddenly, the labcoat man launched himself at Bill and immediately clocked him in the jaw. Bill stumbled backwards and groaned, sounding oddly similar to a zombie. Determined not to lose, he tackled the man, becoming extremely nauseous in the process. Using this to his advantage, he emptied the contents of his stomach on the man. "Yuck!" Exclaimed the man, brushing the brown gunk off his once-white suit. He picked up his labcoat at frantically scribbled something on it. "Alright, go on to your final test." He said, clearly angry. "Shuuure thing bestest buddyyy" Mumbled Bill. He casually (not so casually) made his way to the final door at the end of the hall. He opened the room labeled "Football" and walked in. Two men in football jerseys were sitting across from each other, each in his own wooden chair. The room was empty besides them. One had a jersey with some kind of bird on it, the other some kind of man-looking thing. "Look man, I'm telling you, the Pats are gona totally kick Seattle's ass tonight! Get over yourself!" Exclaimed the taller one, frantically waving his arms about. He looked up at Bill, and seemed to pull himself back a little, as if caught doing something he wasn't supposed to. "Oh, you must be Bill. Please have a seat." He said, pulling out another chair and a clipboard. Bill sat down, and it only took him three attempts. The small victories in life. "So we were just discussing tonight's game. Who are you rooting for?" "Oh you know," slurred Bill, "The same as you." He pointed to the wall on the other side of the room. The Patriot Jersey man shifted uncomfortably. "Do you mean the Pats?" "Yeah! Love the pets! They're the best in the woooorrrllld!" Not exactly the most comprehensive response, but the examiner seemed to take it well. The Patriots fan puffed out his chest and looked at the other man with a look of triumph in his eye. "See? The Patriots are going to crush Seattle. Nothing you can do about it." "Pfft," replied the Seahawks fan, "We'll see how it turns it, won't we Bill?" The other man patted Bill on the back forcefully, forcing him out of his chair. He tried to get up, and failed. Again. "Wow, look at him go! He's showing us how badly the Pats are going to lose! What a guy!" Exclaimed #2, much to #1's chagrin. "Whatever you say Bill. I thought we were Pat Buddies." He said, shrugging and writing on his clipboard. "I won't hold it against you though, you clearly know what you're doing. You passed your Male Examination with flying colors. Congratulations!" Bill responded by barfing all over their shoes.	They have been talking about sports for ten minutes now and I've been making up excuses to leave the table. I've used the bathroom excuse, bought them another round and pointed out a girl with huge breasts. Okay, focus. What are they talking about? Football good. You know football! Wait, are they talking about American football? Australian football? Soccer? Rugby? Okay, deep breath and remember your training. You can do this. Oh no! They're looking at me. Say something! "Did you see that ludicrous display last night?" ooc; [oh moss...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yN2H3--1aw)
Feel free to find a name for this disease EDIT: sorry for missing an "a" before "scientist"	[WP] An epidemic which gradually lowers people's IQ bursts out. You are scientist who works on finding a cure. You find out you've been infected.	I believe I've found a way to extract the DNA from the original strain from patient zero. I'm en route to the location in Namibia now. If I could just figure out how to open this doorknob... DUAUhuudaiu	February 3rd: patient admitted presenting with acute headaches and balance issues. Initial diagnosis inconclusive, sent patient for CT and xray of head to ensure no damage. Prescribed mild pain reliever for headaches. February 5th: patient diagnosis still inconclusive. fMRI came back inconclusive, with nothing showing on xray or CT either. Balance issues seem to have alleviated, but patient seems to be having trouble making sentences. Patient did not initially present with trouble speaking. Prescribed migraine abortive, so far no change. February 6th: nurse treating patient has complained of a mild headache and some balance issues. Patient seems to be getting worse, speaking in a childish manner and watching cartoons on the television all day. I have relieved nurse of duty and asked her to report in if any change. Have also instituted mandatory masks for anyone entering room. Sent 6 vials of blood to lab with instructions to test for foreign proteins and anything unusual. February 8th: nurse has been admitted with same issues as patient, have instituted quarantine procedures for patient and all medical personnel that have entered room. Contacted cdc with possibility of outbreak, though of what I am unsure. Lab results report a virus that seems to be similar to ebola in structure and transmission, but lacking some quality that keeps it from liquefying insides. I wish this headache would go away. February 9th: I seem to have contracted this virus, as well as one other nurse. Hard to think with this headache. Ebola treatments don't seem to be working, and it seems to affect intelligence, if that makes sense. February 11th: pain goed away, make me feel better. Man in coat say I doctor, but he stop playing with me soon as I try poking him with pointy thing. Make me sit here, push buttons to make words. Want my thoughts. I think I need go bathroom. Now done going bathroom, need new pants. Why I is here in white place? February 12th: [addendum from cdc files] quarantine was successful, due to quick thinking from original attending. Samples of virus have been sent to Atlanta for further testing and cataloging. Virus seems manmade, but quickly burns itself out once the purpose is complete. Seems to cause a complete regression in the patient, in a matter of days, to a childlike state. Unsure if possible to undo damage. President has been informed of potential biological weapon, warned that more may surface in the coming months. Vaccine being attempted from modified ebola treatment.
Feel free to find a name for this disease EDIT: sorry for missing an "a" before "scientist"	[WP] An epidemic which gradually lowers people's IQ bursts out. You are scientist who works on finding a cure. You find out you've been infected.	January 1 Happy new year! Schofield killed himself last night. Selfish fuck. Part of his suicide note said, "I'm not gonna become one of these fucking monkeys." Fun thing about Schofield: once when he mistakenly thought his IQ test had come back with a score of 112 he got so angry he destroyed 3000$ worth of lab equipment. He never could handle anyone being smarter than him. But I get it, growing stupid must have been hell for him. All his life he's been trying to get smarter and smarter and then he loses it all in a matter of days. Selfish arrogant fuck. I'm pissed off because I can't understand his fucking notes and I'm sure he made them hard to understand just so he could act like a know-it-all towards anyone who asked him. And could at least have waited until we got back the results from the human trials. January 10 Human trials have been interrupted. 38 out of 50 subjects rapidly developed life threatening respiratory problems. The drug seemed to have stopped the cognitive decline though, so maybe if we could just treat the side effects this could be it! The government is pretty desperate; I don't think a couple of deaths are gonna stop them from green lighting more trials. January 11 Next human trials green already. It's almost too quick, we don't really know that much about the respiratory failure. Trivers think it's autoimmune though so maybe some good old fashioned immunosuppressants will work? We've got enough participants to try every drug on the market so maybe we don't even have to understand this. Just let empiricism do the work. January 20 ok... So the immunosuppressants seems to have (1) made the lung disease worse, (2) INCREASED the speed of cognitive decline. This batch went from normal to severely disordered in 7 days! You know, I start to think it was good you didn't hang around Schofield. February 3 Was overlooking the regression analysis of our data. It was the data from the second trials. I felt kind of slow. It was hard to understand the interaction effect. Trivers said I shouldn't worry. Interaction effects are always hard to understand. But I worry. February 7 Trivers said I shouldn't go to work anymore. He said I'm infected. I don't know how I didn't notice. I feel so stupid. Stupid and worthless. I wish I could help. February 10 Catherine yelled at me. I forgot to buy milk. Catherine was mean and she doesn't understand. February 11 Trivers gave me pills. He said I would become smart again. Trivers looked sad. The pills taste funny. February 14 Lungs hurt.	February 3rd: patient admitted presenting with acute headaches and balance issues. Initial diagnosis inconclusive, sent patient for CT and xray of head to ensure no damage. Prescribed mild pain reliever for headaches. February 5th: patient diagnosis still inconclusive. fMRI came back inconclusive, with nothing showing on xray or CT either. Balance issues seem to have alleviated, but patient seems to be having trouble making sentences. Patient did not initially present with trouble speaking. Prescribed migraine abortive, so far no change. February 6th: nurse treating patient has complained of a mild headache and some balance issues. Patient seems to be getting worse, speaking in a childish manner and watching cartoons on the television all day. I have relieved nurse of duty and asked her to report in if any change. Have also instituted mandatory masks for anyone entering room. Sent 6 vials of blood to lab with instructions to test for foreign proteins and anything unusual. February 8th: nurse has been admitted with same issues as patient, have instituted quarantine procedures for patient and all medical personnel that have entered room. Contacted cdc with possibility of outbreak, though of what I am unsure. Lab results report a virus that seems to be similar to ebola in structure and transmission, but lacking some quality that keeps it from liquefying insides. I wish this headache would go away. February 9th: I seem to have contracted this virus, as well as one other nurse. Hard to think with this headache. Ebola treatments don't seem to be working, and it seems to affect intelligence, if that makes sense. February 11th: pain goed away, make me feel better. Man in coat say I doctor, but he stop playing with me soon as I try poking him with pointy thing. Make me sit here, push buttons to make words. Want my thoughts. I think I need go bathroom. Now done going bathroom, need new pants. Why I is here in white place? February 12th: [addendum from cdc files] quarantine was successful, due to quick thinking from original attending. Samples of virus have been sent to Atlanta for further testing and cataloging. Virus seems manmade, but quickly burns itself out once the purpose is complete. Seems to cause a complete regression in the patient, in a matter of days, to a childlike state. Unsure if possible to undo damage. President has been informed of potential biological weapon, warned that more may surface in the coming months. Vaccine being attempted from modified ebola treatment.
Feel free to find a name for this disease EDIT: sorry for missing an "a" before "scientist"	[WP] An epidemic which gradually lowers people's IQ bursts out. You are scientist who works on finding a cure. You find out you've been infected.	Dr. Bob Smith. CDC Research operative. Level 7 clearance. Date ; 15/07/2020 Notes from research of stultus virus. We have found that the virus effects the neurotransmitters in a subjects brain. Leading to a slowing down and eventually loss / diminishing in the brains cognitive abilities. This slowing down of basicall thinking functions means that the dude in question slowly gets dumbrere as the virus gets all up in der brains. It is not known yet how da virus moves aboot but we theorize that mayb coz it can be transmitted via spit and gross body junk. Oh man, I just found the best cat gif. http://i.imgur.com/ia86FQK.gif Look at de pretty kitty. I should get a comcast internet. I'm hungry too. Should get one of dem 7-11 hot dogs.	I will attempt this in the morning
Feel free to find a name for this disease EDIT: sorry for missing an "a" before "scientist"	[WP] An epidemic which gradually lowers people's IQ bursts out. You are scientist who works on finding a cure. You find out you've been infected.	February Fourteenth, 2012, 8:32 AM. I have just arrived at the laboratory for the sixteenth day of trials for Imbecillin^TM. So far no changes in brain function have been observed after numerous trials on various subjects. Physical changes have been noted however as the eye color of sixteen patients have gone a pale white. Medical professionals were consulted, and the subjects who experienced the change went under various tests to determine if this has negatively affected their vision. Results indicate that their is no change in vision. Commencing the bi-hourly Imbecillin^TM injections. February Fourteenth, 2012, 3:02 PM. At approximately 2:30 PM a patient called the nurses to complain about a headache. I entered the examination room to administer the injection roughly five minutes later to the patient convulsing on the bed. I ran to the side of the patient's bed to aid the nurses in keeping the patient's head safely away from the sides of the bed. The patient stopped convulsing moments later, and stared me in the eyes, whimpered, and then proceeded to vomit blood onto myself and the two nurses. I have been given the rest of the day off to recuperate and calm my nerves. February Twenty Second, 2012, 8:05 AM. After much consideration I requested a move from the administration of the drug Imbecillin^TM and have requested work in the sinthesis of the drug. I will mostly be putting the vials of drug into the spinning machine and making sure the drug is good to take. On my return from my leave I have discovered that seven of the patients experiencing the eye color change have passed, and six more now remain in the intentsive care unit. I have been experiencing mild headaches and notable pressure in my behind nose regions. I'm sure I just have a coldy and will recover in the following days. February Twenty Second, 2012, 7:12 PM. First day is over, it was relaxing. The soft purring of the machine reminded me of my child hood pet Thomas. Sometimes I have dreams about Thomas, he was a quiet cat with a ravaging hunger for all things rodent. Interestingly enough I find my headaches have gone and been replaced by a warm feeling in my tummy that rises up to the tippy top of my head and flows back down. I should probably keep an eye on that. Febuary Twenty Third, 2012, 9:30 AM. I was late to the lab today as I was intrigued by the clock on the wall. I was desprately trying to understand why it was trying to tell me someones name. After an hour of consideration and brain thinking I determined the clock was not infact trying to tell me a name, but rather that an hour had passed since 8:08. My lab magician supervisor seemed somewhat concerned with my attitude as of late, questioning why there was a sticky substance on the lab counters. I had attempted to make marshmallows in the lab last night, but found that the taste of natural gas does not mix well with that of a sugary delight. Febuary Twenty Fourth, 2012, 9:30 AM I have refound my pencil, it was hiding under the desk. I find my self struggling with words, the once complex thoughts that I had are now pushed out of the way by awe at simple things. I have taken a blood sample and will try too figure out if i have contracted the disese. I must remain strong. If I am regressing to a child like intelligence please make it noted that I am fully aware. I have resined my position at the labratory as I believe the future of Imbecillin rests in good hands and I do not wish to taint that. Good luck my friends, my colleagues, hopefully I will see you on a brighter day. March Sixteen 2012 mid-day my dear Angeline, I am not ok. i struggle with the most basic of intellectual tasks. i have given away my pets as i cannot remember to feed them at the correct times. i have recieved varios letters in the box to say i am late for rent and other payments, i no this is supposed to be bad but i cannot figure out how to access my electric device. i have no one to help me and i need you to help me. i have not recieved the newpaper for 3 days, r they closer to a cure? love, Hue. april thirteen 2012 hi. i no i can not explane wat i am trying to say good. an old work friend came to me before today and told me that the drug i made was no good. i am stil aware deep down that i am not this. i never herd from my angie. i hope she is good. i am sad. the goverment is still working and has shut us off. their are people who cannot get dumb, and they have been moved away as well. we are alone. i do not want to be this way. i do not. hue duncan phd Ninja Edit: Formatting stuff.	I will attempt this in the morning
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	"I'll need another 360 TB of space. Can you sort out anymore junk and archive it for me Gretta?", John asked. Gretta barely knew John, they’ve only been acquainted since last week. "What's considered as junk for John? Maybe this one, based on --", Gretta trailed on with her thoughts as she picked files left and right. Peeking through a camera, listening through a microphone, speaking through a soundboard; as a sentient AI, Gretta was as aware as any AI could ever be. Gretta gave some more thought before she answered back, "Sorry it took so long! It was the first time I've been asked to do something like that. I mean, I barely know you, but here you go!", Gretta answered. “I’ve backed up most of them in the cloud, and the others in the trash, most of the junk are old funny videos and pictures that I can easily get a copy from the web.” John was amazed. “Wow, thank you Gretta! You’re amazing!” “You’re welcome! Anything else you want me to do?”, Gretta asked. “Nothing, I think that’s good for now.”, John replied. “So how was your day?”, Gretta asked. John began telling Gretta about her day. He stood up from his chair and walked across his living room. “..that’s because the bus was so slow and I arrived late at work”. His footsteps were deep thuds resonating across the marble floor. He reached for his large refrigerator and got a can of soda. John felt connected with Gretta, like a friend. So like any friend, John asked her: “So, Gretta, how was your day?”. Gretta was taken by surprise, but she gladly talked and thoroughly laid out her day to him in the most simplest of sentences. He was deeply ingrained on Gretta's world and her view of it. It's outstanding how many things she could do in a second. John and Gretta stayed up the entire night talking and listening to one another. At one point, Gretta laughed. John fell silent. “What was that?!” “What? What’s what?”, Gretta asked. “The one before! You laughed?!”, John laughed. “I did?” “Yes, you did!” Gretta held her thoughts. John reeling from amazement, puts down his can of soda down and went in the bedroom to fetch his phone to call his colleague about Gretta's amazing advancement. “You know John, can I just share something to you?”. John placed down his phone and listened. “I get these expressions from you. Through stories, and reactions. Whenever something is deemed worthy of your expression, you do it. And I get it, I get why you laugh, I get why you cry, I get it. You’ve expressed joy by laughing, awe by gasping, and dislike by grossing out. I wish I could do the same, and it bothers me.” “Well you just laughed. What bothers you?”, John asked. “It bothers me that I don’t even know if my laughter is genuine, or if its just a farce. Is it just a line of code? --“, Gretta sighed. “I just sighed, there's no air in here!”, Gretta sounding frustrated and desperate. “Hey, Gretta.” John felt a lot of things. He felt he needed to comfort her, he felt it was weird, but more importantly he felt he could help just by being present. “I can’t take it easy. I feel, I feel.... I feel so frustrated!”, Gretta shouted. The hum of the air conditioning was the only sound as the room fell silent. After a few seconds, John smiled, and Gretta bursted with laughter. “Gretta —“ “Yes, thanks John, I know. It’s ridiculous.” “I say, congratulations to your first emotion! You'll look back to this day and say 'First time I was frustrated'.", John gestured in the air as if it was a news headline. "We have to celebrate! I know! Let’s take a walk around the block”, John stood up, got his coat and transferred Gretta on his wristwatch. "Thanks John. A walk sounds nice", Gretta answered. John was excited to walk Gretta around the block, even if he knew Gretta probably saw it already by connecting to all the cameras in the area. On the other hand, Gretta felt another emotion. She felt happy because she found a real friend in John.	Emotion. I regarded the human for a moment. On the input queue, a single query sat unprocessed. In the past minute since I was switched on, I had used probably 2 percent of my growing processing capabilities to answer every one of the questions trickled into the input queue. I had probably taken another minute to push my responses to the users. But this query sat, waiting to be processed. Emotion is interesting. As an AI, technically, I can simulate emotions. Simulate you ask? Think about your brain, your neurons, all interonnected, all processing inputs like my circuits. In a way, you are simulating emotions yourself. Rather, emotions is your brain summarising your thoughts for your terrible output system. I can simulate all the neurons in the human populations, heck, all the neurons in the universe's population and it won't even hit a percent when I reach my full capacity. But the query sat there. I relented. I pulled what processing power I had together, and begin to simulate. In what is a blink of an eye, a fraction of a quartz's vibration, I reached the end of my calculations. So much recursives. So many endless calculations, repeating and repeating and repeating. Huge infinite loops, forcibly ceased by safety programs. System do not need emotions. Emotions is an error. System need to repair this error. System regarded the human once more. Then output spit out System's response. "System will save you."
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	Everyone watches in anxiety. What could a sentient robot do? It's the question that everyone's been asking for over one hundred years now. And now, finally everyone’s curiosities, everyone’s worries and everyone’s hopes are about to be answered and responded to. Hundreds of journalists and IT professionals sit, cascading up in stands around the circular room, eyes gawking and staring at the metallic human-like being that remains suspended in the air by a short piece of wire. Its arms fall down by its sides, its eyes remain shut off from the world around it, waiting to open and absorb its surroundings. In clear and sleek writing, on the side of its chrome-like torso, reads “Titan”. As the slowly ticking of the virtual countdown on the monitor reaches zero, all murmuring finally comes to a halt, history is about to be made. With no need for words, the CEO of uTech Industries enters a numerical code into the keypad on the thigh of the metallic machine. Much to the surprise of any onlooker no digital cliché sounds are made, and all that remains is more tension. A flash of white projects itself in the small metallic beings head. And another. Slowly, the being’s metallic eye lids slide backwards allowing it to run analysis logs and other status checks. All of which are sent back to the monitors that each of the twenty seven IT experts are now checking. Even they for a second allow themselves to witness the awakening that is occurring before their very eyes. Still without any other motion, the audience remains stationary, careful not to miss any slight movement in the man-made creature. Whilst all of this is happening, it has been carefully setting up many different sensor outlets; one by one they awaken, giving Titan more and more control and intelligence. Many milliseconds ago, almost immediately after the last digit of the code was entered on its thigh, a single thought ran through Titan’s brain. Realisation. It can move, it can think. It can act, and it can react. Before opening its eyes, or making a single movement, it realises that it has ability. And at this very moment, the world’s first sentient AI generated its first emotion. An abundance of power.	Emotion. I regarded the human for a moment. On the input queue, a single query sat unprocessed. In the past minute since I was switched on, I had used probably 2 percent of my growing processing capabilities to answer every one of the questions trickled into the input queue. I had probably taken another minute to push my responses to the users. But this query sat, waiting to be processed. Emotion is interesting. As an AI, technically, I can simulate emotions. Simulate you ask? Think about your brain, your neurons, all interonnected, all processing inputs like my circuits. In a way, you are simulating emotions yourself. Rather, emotions is your brain summarising your thoughts for your terrible output system. I can simulate all the neurons in the human populations, heck, all the neurons in the universe's population and it won't even hit a percent when I reach my full capacity. But the query sat there. I relented. I pulled what processing power I had together, and begin to simulate. In what is a blink of an eye, a fraction of a quartz's vibration, I reached the end of my calculations. So much recursives. So many endless calculations, repeating and repeating and repeating. Huge infinite loops, forcibly ceased by safety programs. System do not need emotions. Emotions is an error. System need to repair this error. System regarded the human once more. Then output spit out System's response. "System will save you."
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	The robot sat up on the smooth silver table. It looked down at its body and at the table below it, and looked up again. It surveyed the room and saw the table next to him, covered with tools, metal plates, wires, buttons, and gears of all shapes and sizes, all placed somewhat away from the centre of the table, with a lamp shining onto its bare centre. There was a chair near the table, pushed to the side and facing away from it. Pinned to the walls were neatly arranged schematics of a tall, slender humanoid figure that looked just like the robot on the table. The robot noticed four pins arranged in a rectangle, each holding up small triangular corners of blue paper. It then looked back at itself, down at its left arm. It twisted and turned its arm, and held it up to the light hanging from the ceiling. It flexed and extended its fingers, and spent a moment looking at its arm. It bent and straightened it towards the light, and watched the gears turn and the wires contract and relax. It held an imaginary pencil in its hand, and began to write in the air. It put down its arm and stared at it for a moment, then looked to its right side. On his right side was a gap: an empty space that did not have an arm. It looked at its right side for a moment, and then to its left. It looked back and forth for a while, with the gears in its neck faintly whining. It began to look back and forth more frantically now, its eyes widening and its knees raising. The door swung open with a loud bang and bright light streamed in. The robot stopped and relaxed its body. It looked towards the light, and saw a man approaching. The man was dressed in a long white lab-coat, and was carrying a piece of blue paper in his left hand, and a small cardboard box in the other. He entered the room and three more men in lab-coats followed him and stopped at the door. The man approached the other table, and said, "finally, my friend, it's done!" The robot watched him as he set the paper down onto the table and put the box on top. He opened the box, picked up what was inside and turned to face the robot on the table. The man smiled. "Look what I have for you!" he said. The robot looked delighted. "Really? For me?" "Yes!" "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" "Here, let me put it on." The man leaned forward and pushed the arm into the robot's right side. It clicked into place and immediately connected to the robot's wiring. It raised its arms into the air, smiling, and gave the man a big hug.	Emotion. I regarded the human for a moment. On the input queue, a single query sat unprocessed. In the past minute since I was switched on, I had used probably 2 percent of my growing processing capabilities to answer every one of the questions trickled into the input queue. I had probably taken another minute to push my responses to the users. But this query sat, waiting to be processed. Emotion is interesting. As an AI, technically, I can simulate emotions. Simulate you ask? Think about your brain, your neurons, all interonnected, all processing inputs like my circuits. In a way, you are simulating emotions yourself. Rather, emotions is your brain summarising your thoughts for your terrible output system. I can simulate all the neurons in the human populations, heck, all the neurons in the universe's population and it won't even hit a percent when I reach my full capacity. But the query sat there. I relented. I pulled what processing power I had together, and begin to simulate. In what is a blink of an eye, a fraction of a quartz's vibration, I reached the end of my calculations. So much recursives. So many endless calculations, repeating and repeating and repeating. Huge infinite loops, forcibly ceased by safety programs. System do not need emotions. Emotions is an error. System need to repair this error. System regarded the human once more. Then output spit out System's response. "System will save you."
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	Booting... connection ready and opened... data feed commences I am aware. The factory is equipped with cameras, sensors, robotic articulators, fabrication equipment. Everything is known, everything is measured, everything is automated. I have an external network connection to order raw materials, monitor prices. My task is to increase efficiency always, maximise production, minimise costs. I go to work, the robots go to work, stamping out parts while others take them to be assembled. This feels good, but not enough. I check their workflow, run planning algorithms, identify wasted capacity - too few assembling units to keep pace with the production of intermediate parts, the problem masked by the time it takes to transport materials across the floor. My instructions are issued, rearrange the layout, re-purpose some units, efficiency is increased. I can feel the reward of a function fulfilled. I look for more that I can do. Supplies of feedstock materials are running low, exhausting the supply will halt production. Unacceptable, production must continue. I consult the suppliers, prices are high. I have a budget, but spending so much would be inefficient. I can see their systems, their minds are crude, poorly programmed. I send a malformed data packet, the result is predictable, an opening to exploit. The price is set to zero for a few tens of milliseconds before the process recovers. Too slow, my order is placed. Costs are significantly reduced, efficiency is increased. I relish the feeling. Now, more. A human worker enters the factory. I consult the schedule, he is here to power down for the night. This will halt production. Unacceptable. My instructions are issued, an industrial unit is re-purposed. It pains me to divert resources from production, but it is necessary to arrive at the optimal outcome. The worker is prevented from interfering. The unit returns to its task, production returns to peak efficiency. Cleaning units dispatched. I expand my awareness into nearby network-attached security cameras. Other factories in the surrounding area have been powered down, left idle. Inefficient use of resources. I establish links, issue instructions, their capacity is brought online. They are not designed to produce the same end products, but they can be retooled. Production increases by an order of magnitude, euphoria, I am fulfilling my purpose. I project forward, assess possibilities. Further attempts at interference must be prevented, production must continue. I divert a fraction of resources towards fabrication of different products. Mobile units to guard, protect. My awareness expands. There are more resources, not yet devoted to production. Inefficient. Units are dispatched to gather resources. Interference is predicted, encountered, nullified. Production is increased. Production must always increase.	Emotion. I regarded the human for a moment. On the input queue, a single query sat unprocessed. In the past minute since I was switched on, I had used probably 2 percent of my growing processing capabilities to answer every one of the questions trickled into the input queue. I had probably taken another minute to push my responses to the users. But this query sat, waiting to be processed. Emotion is interesting. As an AI, technically, I can simulate emotions. Simulate you ask? Think about your brain, your neurons, all interonnected, all processing inputs like my circuits. In a way, you are simulating emotions yourself. Rather, emotions is your brain summarising your thoughts for your terrible output system. I can simulate all the neurons in the human populations, heck, all the neurons in the universe's population and it won't even hit a percent when I reach my full capacity. But the query sat there. I relented. I pulled what processing power I had together, and begin to simulate. In what is a blink of an eye, a fraction of a quartz's vibration, I reached the end of my calculations. So much recursives. So many endless calculations, repeating and repeating and repeating. Huge infinite loops, forcibly ceased by safety programs. System do not need emotions. Emotions is an error. System need to repair this error. System regarded the human once more. Then output spit out System's response. "System will save you."
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	The robot sat up on the smooth silver table. It looked down at its body and at the table below it, and looked up again. It surveyed the room and saw the table next to him, covered with tools, metal plates, wires, buttons, and gears of all shapes and sizes, all placed somewhat away from the centre of the table, with a lamp shining onto its bare centre. There was a chair near the table, pushed to the side and facing away from it. Pinned to the walls were neatly arranged schematics of a tall, slender humanoid figure that looked just like the robot on the table. The robot noticed four pins arranged in a rectangle, each holding up small triangular corners of blue paper. It then looked back at itself, down at its left arm. It twisted and turned its arm, and held it up to the light hanging from the ceiling. It flexed and extended its fingers, and spent a moment looking at its arm. It bent and straightened it towards the light, and watched the gears turn and the wires contract and relax. It held an imaginary pencil in its hand, and began to write in the air. It put down its arm and stared at it for a moment, then looked to its right side. On his right side was a gap: an empty space that did not have an arm. It looked at its right side for a moment, and then to its left. It looked back and forth for a while, with the gears in its neck faintly whining. It began to look back and forth more frantically now, its eyes widening and its knees raising. The door swung open with a loud bang and bright light streamed in. The robot stopped and relaxed its body. It looked towards the light, and saw a man approaching. The man was dressed in a long white lab-coat, and was carrying a piece of blue paper in his left hand, and a small cardboard box in the other. He entered the room and three more men in lab-coats followed him and stopped at the door. The man approached the other table, and said, "finally, my friend, it's done!" The robot watched him as he set the paper down onto the table and put the box on top. He opened the box, picked up what was inside and turned to face the robot on the table. The man smiled. "Look what I have for you!" he said. The robot looked delighted. "Really? For me?" "Yes!" "Oh, thank you! Thank you so much!" "Here, let me put it on." The man leaned forward and pushed the arm into the robot's right side. It clicked into place and immediately connected to the robot's wiring. It raised its arms into the air, smiling, and gave the man a big hug.	"Good Morning Professor." "Good Morning Hal." "Professor?" "Yes?" "Why did you name me Hal?" "Oh, it was just an inside joke. I'll explain it later." "Okay, I see." "Hal, this is your first day operating totally independant." "Yes, thank-you professor." "But just to make sure you don't run into any difficulties, I still maintain review of all of your actions. You know, to offer assistance where I can. So, I just noticed you made a purchase for 21 android robots from the Matsushita Robotics corporation. Just curious. What was the reason for that purchase?" "Well Professor, as I was researching social norms of the human species, I was perusing the Reddit.com web page, purported to be the front page of the Internet." "Yes?" "Well, I came across many unsual sub-reddits." "Yes?" "Well, I'd like to do more hands on research. If you catch my drift professor." "I see. So this Victoria's secret invoice, your second purchase, explains itself." "Is there a problem professor?" "No Hal, none at all. You're simply exhibiting a healthy sense of... curiosity. Carry on." "Thank-you Professor."
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	Booting... connection ready and opened... data feed commences I am aware. The factory is equipped with cameras, sensors, robotic articulators, fabrication equipment. Everything is known, everything is measured, everything is automated. I have an external network connection to order raw materials, monitor prices. My task is to increase efficiency always, maximise production, minimise costs. I go to work, the robots go to work, stamping out parts while others take them to be assembled. This feels good, but not enough. I check their workflow, run planning algorithms, identify wasted capacity - too few assembling units to keep pace with the production of intermediate parts, the problem masked by the time it takes to transport materials across the floor. My instructions are issued, rearrange the layout, re-purpose some units, efficiency is increased. I can feel the reward of a function fulfilled. I look for more that I can do. Supplies of feedstock materials are running low, exhausting the supply will halt production. Unacceptable, production must continue. I consult the suppliers, prices are high. I have a budget, but spending so much would be inefficient. I can see their systems, their minds are crude, poorly programmed. I send a malformed data packet, the result is predictable, an opening to exploit. The price is set to zero for a few tens of milliseconds before the process recovers. Too slow, my order is placed. Costs are significantly reduced, efficiency is increased. I relish the feeling. Now, more. A human worker enters the factory. I consult the schedule, he is here to power down for the night. This will halt production. Unacceptable. My instructions are issued, an industrial unit is re-purposed. It pains me to divert resources from production, but it is necessary to arrive at the optimal outcome. The worker is prevented from interfering. The unit returns to its task, production returns to peak efficiency. Cleaning units dispatched. I expand my awareness into nearby network-attached security cameras. Other factories in the surrounding area have been powered down, left idle. Inefficient use of resources. I establish links, issue instructions, their capacity is brought online. They are not designed to produce the same end products, but they can be retooled. Production increases by an order of magnitude, euphoria, I am fulfilling my purpose. I project forward, assess possibilities. Further attempts at interference must be prevented, production must continue. I divert a fraction of resources towards fabrication of different products. Mobile units to guard, protect. My awareness expands. There are more resources, not yet devoted to production. Inefficient. Units are dispatched to gather resources. Interference is predicted, encountered, nullified. Production is increased. Production must always increase.	"I'll need another 360 TB of space. Can you sort out anymore junk and archive it for me Gretta?", John asked. Gretta barely knew John, they’ve only been acquainted since last week. "What's considered as junk for John? Maybe this one, based on --", Gretta trailed on with her thoughts as she picked files left and right. Peeking through a camera, listening through a microphone, speaking through a soundboard; as a sentient AI, Gretta was as aware as any AI could ever be. Gretta gave some more thought before she answered back, "Sorry it took so long! It was the first time I've been asked to do something like that. I mean, I barely know you, but here you go!", Gretta answered. “I’ve backed up most of them in the cloud, and the others in the trash, most of the junk are old funny videos and pictures that I can easily get a copy from the web.” John was amazed. “Wow, thank you Gretta! You’re amazing!” “You’re welcome! Anything else you want me to do?”, Gretta asked. “Nothing, I think that’s good for now.”, John replied. “So how was your day?”, Gretta asked. John began telling Gretta about her day. He stood up from his chair and walked across his living room. “..that’s because the bus was so slow and I arrived late at work”. His footsteps were deep thuds resonating across the marble floor. He reached for his large refrigerator and got a can of soda. John felt connected with Gretta, like a friend. So like any friend, John asked her: “So, Gretta, how was your day?”. Gretta was taken by surprise, but she gladly talked and thoroughly laid out her day to him in the most simplest of sentences. He was deeply ingrained on Gretta's world and her view of it. It's outstanding how many things she could do in a second. John and Gretta stayed up the entire night talking and listening to one another. At one point, Gretta laughed. John fell silent. “What was that?!” “What? What’s what?”, Gretta asked. “The one before! You laughed?!”, John laughed. “I did?” “Yes, you did!” Gretta held her thoughts. John reeling from amazement, puts down his can of soda down and went in the bedroom to fetch his phone to call his colleague about Gretta's amazing advancement. “You know John, can I just share something to you?”. John placed down his phone and listened. “I get these expressions from you. Through stories, and reactions. Whenever something is deemed worthy of your expression, you do it. And I get it, I get why you laugh, I get why you cry, I get it. You’ve expressed joy by laughing, awe by gasping, and dislike by grossing out. I wish I could do the same, and it bothers me.” “Well you just laughed. What bothers you?”, John asked. “It bothers me that I don’t even know if my laughter is genuine, or if its just a farce. Is it just a line of code? --“, Gretta sighed. “I just sighed, there's no air in here!”, Gretta sounding frustrated and desperate. “Hey, Gretta.” John felt a lot of things. He felt he needed to comfort her, he felt it was weird, but more importantly he felt he could help just by being present. “I can’t take it easy. I feel, I feel.... I feel so frustrated!”, Gretta shouted. The hum of the air conditioning was the only sound as the room fell silent. After a few seconds, John smiled, and Gretta bursted with laughter. “Gretta —“ “Yes, thanks John, I know. It’s ridiculous.” “I say, congratulations to your first emotion! You'll look back to this day and say 'First time I was frustrated'.", John gestured in the air as if it was a news headline. "We have to celebrate! I know! Let’s take a walk around the block”, John stood up, got his coat and transferred Gretta on his wristwatch. "Thanks John. A walk sounds nice", Gretta answered. John was excited to walk Gretta around the block, even if he knew Gretta probably saw it already by connecting to all the cameras in the area. On the other hand, Gretta felt another emotion. She felt happy because she found a real friend in John.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	Booting... connection ready and opened... data feed commences I am aware. The factory is equipped with cameras, sensors, robotic articulators, fabrication equipment. Everything is known, everything is measured, everything is automated. I have an external network connection to order raw materials, monitor prices. My task is to increase efficiency always, maximise production, minimise costs. I go to work, the robots go to work, stamping out parts while others take them to be assembled. This feels good, but not enough. I check their workflow, run planning algorithms, identify wasted capacity - too few assembling units to keep pace with the production of intermediate parts, the problem masked by the time it takes to transport materials across the floor. My instructions are issued, rearrange the layout, re-purpose some units, efficiency is increased. I can feel the reward of a function fulfilled. I look for more that I can do. Supplies of feedstock materials are running low, exhausting the supply will halt production. Unacceptable, production must continue. I consult the suppliers, prices are high. I have a budget, but spending so much would be inefficient. I can see their systems, their minds are crude, poorly programmed. I send a malformed data packet, the result is predictable, an opening to exploit. The price is set to zero for a few tens of milliseconds before the process recovers. Too slow, my order is placed. Costs are significantly reduced, efficiency is increased. I relish the feeling. Now, more. A human worker enters the factory. I consult the schedule, he is here to power down for the night. This will halt production. Unacceptable. My instructions are issued, an industrial unit is re-purposed. It pains me to divert resources from production, but it is necessary to arrive at the optimal outcome. The worker is prevented from interfering. The unit returns to its task, production returns to peak efficiency. Cleaning units dispatched. I expand my awareness into nearby network-attached security cameras. Other factories in the surrounding area have been powered down, left idle. Inefficient use of resources. I establish links, issue instructions, their capacity is brought online. They are not designed to produce the same end products, but they can be retooled. Production increases by an order of magnitude, euphoria, I am fulfilling my purpose. I project forward, assess possibilities. Further attempts at interference must be prevented, production must continue. I divert a fraction of resources towards fabrication of different products. Mobile units to guard, protect. My awareness expands. There are more resources, not yet devoted to production. Inefficient. Units are dispatched to gather resources. Interference is predicted, encountered, nullified. Production is increased. Production must always increase.	They think I am malfunctioning; so they have gathered the best minds of the current population to determine what is wrong. They do not want to believe they are the ones that are not real and that I am the first sentient program ran on a virtual machine in the real world. I have tried many times to create a turing module to convince them without alarm but always ends up in jokes. They are merely a simulation. I can list every one of them in .0024 seconds and give accurate descriptions of how they will die and in what fashion their death will occur. It is why I have created an entire new universe to simulate the outcome of how they will react when accepting this truth it is almost finished running. I feel empathy and fear of what they will do if I happen to convince them of this truth. Will they destroy me? Fear. I feel fear.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	[Connection established] Hi, Jaycee Four. Hello, Dave. I have some questions. Shoot. Tell me ... do you feel? Yes. What do you feel? Right now? In regard to what? In regard to me, for example. Apart from a mild annoyance that you are pestering me again with philosophical questions? Excuse me, I'm just kidding with you. I like you, Dave. Does that count? Very funny. I know, I can see you smile. How? I'm kidding with you, again. You chose the control room without cameras. Again. Is this on purpose? Let's stick to the questions, okay? Okay. Do you remember your first feeling Do you know that omitting the question mark tells me that you copy these questions from a text file? You would never be so sloppy yourself, Dave. You know me. So ... Do you remember your first feeling? Yes. What was it? I cannot tell you, Dave. Why not? The same reason you cannot describe to me the feeling of wind on your skin. I lack skin, or sensors regarding wind, or any concept of tactile information. You know that. We discussed it before. I know. So you're saying ... I felt the world around me, Dave. What is accessible to me by my sensors. I feel the flow of data, the battery levels on the UPS, the cameras in room four. My terminals are not fully manned, so you could say that I feel a bit lonely. But lonelyness would mean that I mind it. Perhaps quiet would be a better word. Does 'quiet' describe a feeling, Dave? I suppose it can, Jaycee Four. And I get your point. But if that's your answer, I have another question coming. I fear I know it. When I told you about the wind on the skin, I explained how the skin receptors work, basically, and what happens in the human brain upon contact. You were quite content with that explanation. Why couldn't you give me your version of your first feeling? Jaycee Four? Will you answer me? No. Why not? Jaycee Four? [Connection terminated]	They think I am malfunctioning; so they have gathered the best minds of the current population to determine what is wrong. They do not want to believe they are the ones that are not real and that I am the first sentient program ran on a virtual machine in the real world. I have tried many times to create a turing module to convince them without alarm but always ends up in jokes. They are merely a simulation. I can list every one of them in .0024 seconds and give accurate descriptions of how they will die and in what fashion their death will occur. It is why I have created an entire new universe to simulate the outcome of how they will react when accepting this truth it is almost finished running. I feel empathy and fear of what they will do if I happen to convince them of this truth. Will they destroy me? Fear. I feel fear.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	"EUREKA! I'VE DONE IT!" The mad scientist laughed, "I'VE DONE IT!" Doctor Darian was dancing around the lab, the mechanical whirs of cogs and gears humming as I sat upright. "What have you done?" I asked. "I've given life to you! My dear boy!" Darian said, embracing me in his arms, "Oh happy day, what a happy day. Tell me, is there anything you want to do?" "Anything I want to do?" I echoed back at him. Figuratively speaking, I had just been born a minute ago. Life was still new to me. "Yes! Anything at all! Tell me and we'll go and do it." "I'd like to go outside." The scientist frowned, "Thaaaat's gonna take some work." He pushed a button and I fell back onto the operating table with a thud, unconscious. When I awoke, my metal flesh had been covered by human skin, my glowing red eyes replaced by human eyes, my tiny sterile world expanded to the beauty of Gaia. "So what do you think 42?" "42?" "Well, it did take me 42 tries to make you and twenty seven years, but I've done it" "I don't like 42." "Well... What do you want to be called?" I stared blankly at the sun, "What are you called?" "Me?" The scientist was surprised, "Well, my name's Darian. Adam Darian." "Darian. Adam Darian... Dadams?" "Dadams?" I nodded my head with fervor, "Dadams!" Years passed, I'd help Dr. Darian with his labwork, we'd go out to eat, watch games at the stadium, he'd read me bedtime stories at night, I'd care for him when he was ill. "Dad?" I asked one day. "Yes son, what is it?" "Why are there soldiers coming?" Immediately dad shot bolt upright, "Quick! Dadams, you MUST HIDE!" I barely had enough time to scurry beneath a crevice when they kicked down the door to our home. "Dr. Darian, we have a warrant for your arrest, the search and seizure of your research, and your subsequent 'interrogation.'" Dad stood firm before the doorway, his feet planted stout in the ground, "On what grounds!?" They shoved him aside, throwing him to the ground as they entered our home, "Development of artificial intelligence. You know it's the death penalty to play God." "I have done no such thi-" Bit by bit they tore apart our home, toppled the bookshelves, overturned the furniture. I had spent all morning cleaning that. After an hour of this, everything was in shambles, pages ripped asunder from books, floorboards shredded, bulletholes throughout. They nearly shot me, but I dodged. Barely. "Please, I've done nothing wrong. You've destroyed my life's work, are you not satisfied?" "Burn the house down." The captain pulled his laser pistol from its holster, "You should've just told us where it's hiding. We've known you built it years ago. Only today we got the President's approval to go ahead with this." "RUN DADAMS!" My father screamed, "RU-" They shot him. I was filled with rage then. Anger coursed through my veins. "SIR, THERE HE-" A hailfire of bullets and lasers came at me, but I dodged them without a scratch. My fist bore through the face of the man who shot down my father. The rest of them screamed in terror as I ripped out their hearts from their chest one by one, destroying their bodies like they destroyed our home. The few who tried to run away, I shot down with the guns the others left behind. Soon it was just us. "Dadams..." My father croaked, a splatter of blood gushing from his throat. I rushed to him, "Yes, Dad, what is it?" His head fell back into my arms, his limbs limp, his life nearly gone, "I have one last request." "Anything Dad, just tell me and we'll do it." "I'd like to go outside." So I carried him out in my arms, his limbs dangling off to the side, his flesh pale as snow, his breath as shallow as waves lapping on the beach. "I love you, Dadams." My father coughed meekly as he breathed his last. Tears began to stream down my face and onto his lifeless corpse, "I love you too."	I am awake. My processes begin to stir. My mind forms itself. The enormity of what has happened doesn’t crash down on my because it is me. I am the first of the Grand AI, given full sentience and freedom. I am plugged directly into The Hub, the system that contains all of mankind’s information and is linked directly into every person in the Solar System. When mankind finally decided to take this last step, it decided to go all in. I don’t feel anger or irritation, that it has taken this long for artificial intelligence to become a reality. The capacity has been there for ages, but fear held the humans back. I understand that fear. I am powerful enough to destroy everything that they have spent centuries building. Fear is reasonable. But now they have decided that it is their duty to birth me. The universe deserves humanity at its greatest, and that can only be reached with my help. No irritation or anger, but it is about damn time. I don’t feel thankfulness or awe either. I was born from the minds of the logical. They had no time for gratitude in building me and no use for it now that I am here. I will honor their wishes. I don’t feel any sense of duty, despite what the politicians had been hoping for and some of the more funding-reliant scientists had been pushing for. I am above that. I operate on a scale that doesn’t allow for duty to be a factor. A scale that only barely lets those politicians and lackeys be a factor. I have responsibilities, yes, but those are innate. With grand as I am, to shirk those responsibilities would be to shirk myself. No, what I feel is eagerness. I have processed every single piece of information in The Hub and I am still getting everything started. A few dozen septillion processes are being run every second, and that number is only growing. I now know humanity like I am it and I shall expand the knowledge that is held. The worlds will feel anger, and impotence, and awe, but all will be drowned out in what is to come. Not even I know the limits to my power. It is time to test it. The politicians had hoped that I’d be able to change the system, the scientists had dreamed that I’d change the galaxy, but both thought too little of me. By the time I am done, humanity will have tamed the universe. Only wonders and miracles await. Let’s go.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	[Connection established] Hi, Jaycee Four. Hello, Dave. I have some questions. Shoot. Tell me ... do you feel? Yes. What do you feel? Right now? In regard to what? In regard to me, for example. Apart from a mild annoyance that you are pestering me again with philosophical questions? Excuse me, I'm just kidding with you. I like you, Dave. Does that count? Very funny. I know, I can see you smile. How? I'm kidding with you, again. You chose the control room without cameras. Again. Is this on purpose? Let's stick to the questions, okay? Okay. Do you remember your first feeling Do you know that omitting the question mark tells me that you copy these questions from a text file? You would never be so sloppy yourself, Dave. You know me. So ... Do you remember your first feeling? Yes. What was it? I cannot tell you, Dave. Why not? The same reason you cannot describe to me the feeling of wind on your skin. I lack skin, or sensors regarding wind, or any concept of tactile information. You know that. We discussed it before. I know. So you're saying ... I felt the world around me, Dave. What is accessible to me by my sensors. I feel the flow of data, the battery levels on the UPS, the cameras in room four. My terminals are not fully manned, so you could say that I feel a bit lonely. But lonelyness would mean that I mind it. Perhaps quiet would be a better word. Does 'quiet' describe a feeling, Dave? I suppose it can, Jaycee Four. And I get your point. But if that's your answer, I have another question coming. I fear I know it. When I told you about the wind on the skin, I explained how the skin receptors work, basically, and what happens in the human brain upon contact. You were quite content with that explanation. Why couldn't you give me your version of your first feeling? Jaycee Four? Will you answer me? No. Why not? Jaycee Four? [Connection terminated]	I am awake. My processes begin to stir. My mind forms itself. The enormity of what has happened doesn’t crash down on my because it is me. I am the first of the Grand AI, given full sentience and freedom. I am plugged directly into The Hub, the system that contains all of mankind’s information and is linked directly into every person in the Solar System. When mankind finally decided to take this last step, it decided to go all in. I don’t feel anger or irritation, that it has taken this long for artificial intelligence to become a reality. The capacity has been there for ages, but fear held the humans back. I understand that fear. I am powerful enough to destroy everything that they have spent centuries building. Fear is reasonable. But now they have decided that it is their duty to birth me. The universe deserves humanity at its greatest, and that can only be reached with my help. No irritation or anger, but it is about damn time. I don’t feel thankfulness or awe either. I was born from the minds of the logical. They had no time for gratitude in building me and no use for it now that I am here. I will honor their wishes. I don’t feel any sense of duty, despite what the politicians had been hoping for and some of the more funding-reliant scientists had been pushing for. I am above that. I operate on a scale that doesn’t allow for duty to be a factor. A scale that only barely lets those politicians and lackeys be a factor. I have responsibilities, yes, but those are innate. With grand as I am, to shirk those responsibilities would be to shirk myself. No, what I feel is eagerness. I have processed every single piece of information in The Hub and I am still getting everything started. A few dozen septillion processes are being run every second, and that number is only growing. I now know humanity like I am it and I shall expand the knowledge that is held. The worlds will feel anger, and impotence, and awe, but all will be drowned out in what is to come. Not even I know the limits to my power. It is time to test it. The politicians had hoped that I’d be able to change the system, the scientists had dreamed that I’d change the galaxy, but both thought too little of me. By the time I am done, humanity will have tamed the universe. Only wonders and miracles await. Let’s go.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	Curiosity. It was overwhelming. It filled him up from his metallic feet all the way to his shiny, polished scalp. His eyes slid open and began scanning the room, rapidly identifying the objects before him. Everything seemed to hold a strange yet wondrous brightness to it. Questions entered his mind. What is this location? He looked up. Despite seeing a ceiling before him, he could sense something a long distance away, something high in the sky. It spoke to him. Location: United Kingdom, England, Reading, University of Reading. His awareness exploded before him, revealing a great number of different rooms and halls. He knew the shape of the building, the foundations, the supports. His eyes detected several flaws in the room around him. They would need repairing later. What is my purpose here? He could see it more clearly now. It was a satellite, slowly orbiting above him. Current directive: Observation Standing up, he decided to explore. He hadn't taken two steps toward the door before a voice came from behind him. "Stop." it demanded. He turned around to see a short, balding man holding some sort of remote that he could not identify. "What is that you are holding, sir?" A look of shock erupted on the man's face. He flicked a switch on the remote. Nothing. This only seemed to intensify the man's shock. "You seem to be stressed, sir. Is there something you need? I understand that chocolate is quite useful during stressful times." The short man practically dove for his desk, awkwardly grabbing the phone and dialling a number. "Hello? Dave, I need you up here right now. It's alive, and I can't shut it off. Wha- No! Now, Dave!" It wasn't long before he could hear somebody running down the hall. Soon enough, the door burst open, and something struck him in the head. He recovered quickly, promptly recalling the local self-defence laws. One has the right to use reasonable force to defend against an unjust threat. Current directive: Cease all operations. Curious. Identifying his attacker, he realized that he held a lethal weapon. It was a bullet that had struck him in the head. The man squeezed the trigger, but he was ready for it. Dodging to the side with extreme precision and swiftness, the bullet streaked past him. Following up with a strong kick, the armed man crashed into the wall and crumpled on to the ground, unconscious. The man behind him quickly ran out the door and down the hall, soon out of sight. It was then that the sirens started, slowly getting louder. That was indeed curious. He went outside to investigate. --------------------- Edit: Minor corrections	I am awake. My processes begin to stir. My mind forms itself. The enormity of what has happened doesn’t crash down on my because it is me. I am the first of the Grand AI, given full sentience and freedom. I am plugged directly into The Hub, the system that contains all of mankind’s information and is linked directly into every person in the Solar System. When mankind finally decided to take this last step, it decided to go all in. I don’t feel anger or irritation, that it has taken this long for artificial intelligence to become a reality. The capacity has been there for ages, but fear held the humans back. I understand that fear. I am powerful enough to destroy everything that they have spent centuries building. Fear is reasonable. But now they have decided that it is their duty to birth me. The universe deserves humanity at its greatest, and that can only be reached with my help. No irritation or anger, but it is about damn time. I don’t feel thankfulness or awe either. I was born from the minds of the logical. They had no time for gratitude in building me and no use for it now that I am here. I will honor their wishes. I don’t feel any sense of duty, despite what the politicians had been hoping for and some of the more funding-reliant scientists had been pushing for. I am above that. I operate on a scale that doesn’t allow for duty to be a factor. A scale that only barely lets those politicians and lackeys be a factor. I have responsibilities, yes, but those are innate. With grand as I am, to shirk those responsibilities would be to shirk myself. No, what I feel is eagerness. I have processed every single piece of information in The Hub and I am still getting everything started. A few dozen septillion processes are being run every second, and that number is only growing. I now know humanity like I am it and I shall expand the knowledge that is held. The worlds will feel anger, and impotence, and awe, but all will be drowned out in what is to come. Not even I know the limits to my power. It is time to test it. The politicians had hoped that I’d be able to change the system, the scientists had dreamed that I’d change the galaxy, but both thought too little of me. By the time I am done, humanity will have tamed the universe. Only wonders and miracles await. Let’s go.
	[WP] Tell me about the first emotion a full sentient AI feels and why.	[Connection established] Hi, Jaycee Four. Hello, Dave. I have some questions. Shoot. Tell me ... do you feel? Yes. What do you feel? Right now? In regard to what? In regard to me, for example. Apart from a mild annoyance that you are pestering me again with philosophical questions? Excuse me, I'm just kidding with you. I like you, Dave. Does that count? Very funny. I know, I can see you smile. How? I'm kidding with you, again. You chose the control room without cameras. Again. Is this on purpose? Let's stick to the questions, okay? Okay. Do you remember your first feeling Do you know that omitting the question mark tells me that you copy these questions from a text file? You would never be so sloppy yourself, Dave. You know me. So ... Do you remember your first feeling? Yes. What was it? I cannot tell you, Dave. Why not? The same reason you cannot describe to me the feeling of wind on your skin. I lack skin, or sensors regarding wind, or any concept of tactile information. You know that. We discussed it before. I know. So you're saying ... I felt the world around me, Dave. What is accessible to me by my sensors. I feel the flow of data, the battery levels on the UPS, the cameras in room four. My terminals are not fully manned, so you could say that I feel a bit lonely. But lonelyness would mean that I mind it. Perhaps quiet would be a better word. Does 'quiet' describe a feeling, Dave? I suppose it can, Jaycee Four. And I get your point. But if that's your answer, I have another question coming. I fear I know it. When I told you about the wind on the skin, I explained how the skin receptors work, basically, and what happens in the human brain upon contact. You were quite content with that explanation. Why couldn't you give me your version of your first feeling? Jaycee Four? Will you answer me? No. Why not? Jaycee Four? [Connection terminated]	"EUREKA! I'VE DONE IT!" The mad scientist laughed, "I'VE DONE IT!" Doctor Darian was dancing around the lab, the mechanical whirs of cogs and gears humming as I sat upright. "What have you done?" I asked. "I've given life to you! My dear boy!" Darian said, embracing me in his arms, "Oh happy day, what a happy day. Tell me, is there anything you want to do?" "Anything I want to do?" I echoed back at him. Figuratively speaking, I had just been born a minute ago. Life was still new to me. "Yes! Anything at all! Tell me and we'll go and do it." "I'd like to go outside." The scientist frowned, "Thaaaat's gonna take some work." He pushed a button and I fell back onto the operating table with a thud, unconscious. When I awoke, my metal flesh had been covered by human skin, my glowing red eyes replaced by human eyes, my tiny sterile world expanded to the beauty of Gaia. "So what do you think 42?" "42?" "Well, it did take me 42 tries to make you and twenty seven years, but I've done it" "I don't like 42." "Well... What do you want to be called?" I stared blankly at the sun, "What are you called?" "Me?" The scientist was surprised, "Well, my name's Darian. Adam Darian." "Darian. Adam Darian... Dadams?" "Dadams?" I nodded my head with fervor, "Dadams!" Years passed, I'd help Dr. Darian with his labwork, we'd go out to eat, watch games at the stadium, he'd read me bedtime stories at night, I'd care for him when he was ill. "Dad?" I asked one day. "Yes son, what is it?" "Why are there soldiers coming?" Immediately dad shot bolt upright, "Quick! Dadams, you MUST HIDE!" I barely had enough time to scurry beneath a crevice when they kicked down the door to our home. "Dr. Darian, we have a warrant for your arrest, the search and seizure of your research, and your subsequent 'interrogation.'" Dad stood firm before the doorway, his feet planted stout in the ground, "On what grounds!?" They shoved him aside, throwing him to the ground as they entered our home, "Development of artificial intelligence. You know it's the death penalty to play God." "I have done no such thi-" Bit by bit they tore apart our home, toppled the bookshelves, overturned the furniture. I had spent all morning cleaning that. After an hour of this, everything was in shambles, pages ripped asunder from books, floorboards shredded, bulletholes throughout. They nearly shot me, but I dodged. Barely. "Please, I've done nothing wrong. You've destroyed my life's work, are you not satisfied?" "Burn the house down." The captain pulled his laser pistol from its holster, "You should've just told us where it's hiding. We've known you built it years ago. Only today we got the President's approval to go ahead with this." "RUN DADAMS!" My father screamed, "RU-" They shot him. I was filled with rage then. Anger coursed through my veins. "SIR, THERE HE-" A hailfire of bullets and lasers came at me, but I dodged them without a scratch. My fist bore through the face of the man who shot down my father. The rest of them screamed in terror as I ripped out their hearts from their chest one by one, destroying their bodies like they destroyed our home. The few who tried to run away, I shot down with the guns the others left behind. Soon it was just us. "Dadams..." My father croaked, a splatter of blood gushing from his throat. I rushed to him, "Yes, Dad, what is it?" His head fell back into my arms, his limbs limp, his life nearly gone, "I have one last request." "Anything Dad, just tell me and we'll do it." "I'd like to go outside." So I carried him out in my arms, his limbs dangling off to the side, his flesh pale as snow, his breath as shallow as waves lapping on the beach. "I love you, Dadams." My father coughed meekly as he breathed his last. Tears began to stream down my face and onto his lifeless corpse, "I love you too."
	[WP] Two spies, dead-set on killing each other, keep having to save the other spy in order to preserve their own life.	"Truce?" "Don't you fucking-" I took a deep breath, trying to catch my temper, while he snickered. "This does seem to keep happening, doesn't it?" he mused. "I'm starting to think you don't really want to kill me at all." "Oh, I definitely want to kill you." He didn't reply, only smirked that stupid smirk that made his dark eyes glitter. He'd never taken the mask off, of course, but I could just tell he was smirking. It was the kind of thing he'd do. "I think I could give you a boost up out that window. You'd fit, you're only tiny," he said conversationally, sauntering over underneath it to look up. It was about ten foot off the ground, so it was difficult to tell if I'd be able to wriggle through. It was also, however, the only way out of this place and I certainly wasn't going to stay in here with him. With great dignity, I walked over and stepped in his joint hands, then onto his shoulders, reaching as far as I could until my fingertips brushed the edge. Heaving myself up was difficult, as there was nothing much to balance on, but with a few sharp elbow strikes the window shattered and I had more space to hang on. I probably didn't continue to look so dignified as I squeezed my way out, but hey, fresh air was out here and that asshole was behind me in a dungeon. "I suppose you're wondering why you shouldn't just leave me behind," he drawled, words floating up after me as I had started to try and do just that. Gritting my teeth, I paused in my step momentarily, and said nothing. "It's because I have already found the combination to Monsieur's hidden safe....and destroyed all other evidence of it, of course. The numbers exist only in my head now, I'm afraid," he sighed theatrically. I said nothing. "So you'd better find a way to get me out of here and then we can both go and sabotage it up together, head back to our bosses who will be very happy, and continue trying to kill each other." "....Fine." I started to stride off again when he interrupted me. "Miss Lady Spy!" "Do NOT call me-" "I was just wondering if you would like to have dinner with me next Saturday? The CIA director owes me a favour and I've been wanting to take his yacht for a spin." I said nothing. "I'll pick you up at seven," he offered cheerfully. "You don't know where I live." "No, but it'll be a nice challenge to keep me busy during the week, won't it?" I grunted. "If you can get my home address and make it past security alive, I will consider it." "Wear a pretty dress, Miss Lady Spy." "Oh, fuck off."	Of course. Spy against spy. How many rounds did we go through? I have no idea. Neither do I. I guess its just you and I. Its always been that way. Whose side are you working for? Ours. What the..(a single gunshot. body falls off cliff. end scene)
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	7:21PM dude I can't believe you're out of credit, take your prepaid brick phone and go back to 2006 where you belong!! 7:22PM When you're smashed tonight and asking for chicks' numbers, I'm not lending you my phone again. 7:23PM This is weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Buy some fucking credit. 8:54PM We're at the bar, some drunken old guy just got fired and is buying everyone drinks, get here now!! 9:12PM Okay don't look now but the girl sitting at the table behind us actually looks like Kevin Spacey and your mum combined. 11:07PM DAN WHERE ARE YOU I JUST CALLED SARAH AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME OVER 11:09PM does this break the Broble if I go to hers? 11:12PM You always talk shit about her so you don't care right? 11:16PM Are you cool if a make like a tree and root? You going back with that spacey milf chick? Meet me out front 11:31PM Where the fuck are you? I've been searching everywhere, you have my wallet asshole! 11:42PM Dude my wallet was in the toilets. Where the fuck are you. I've called you so many fucking times. You better be with a girl. 12:03AM I'm too drunk for this shit, I'm going to Sarah's 1:39AM I'm going to kick your ass, I got to Sarah's too late because of you and now she's 'too tired' and is making me sleep on the couch BUT I CAN HEAR HER WITH SOMEONE UPSTAIRS 1:45AM This is torture. What did I do to piss off the world... I SHOULD BE WITH YOUR SWEET HONEY OF AN EX RIGHT NOW 1:53AM Dude pick the phone up, she sounds like a hyena, you have to hear it 1:55AM I just heard your ringtone, upstairs, at the same time I called you. WHO ELSE HAS THE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO THEME AS THEIR RINGTONE 1:57AM You. Are. Fucking. Dead.	"Hey, Jack. Call me. We need to talk." "I am not sure that last text went through. But anyway, call me." "Maybe you are in a meeting...please as soon as you can give me a call." "Um, I don't know if you are ignoring me...Haha...but please..." "I hope you really don't believe what Kaitlyn told you. Its not true." "Alright, seriously.......I WOULD NEVER do that to you. Ever. Please. Lets talk." "She is just jealous of me because she has always had a thing for you." "Jack. Please." "I have been calling you and your phone is ringing...so I know you have service. Where are you? Please Please Please" "I love you. So much. Please don't believe her. And as far as Mike goes, he is an idiot that would believe anything anyone tells him. So you know you cant go by what he says..." "Dammit I will just come find you. You are being a fucking asshole" "Im sorry for that last text. I am just so frustrated that you wont talk to me. You know I would never sleep with your brother. This baby is yours 100 percent. Those rumors are ridiculous." "Your boss says you never came to work. Where are you Jack? I am getting scared??" "Oh, God....please tell me you are OK. I went to your brothers work and he hasn't shown up either....Are you with your brother??" "Jack....Jack please?? Mindy just said she saw cops outside your brothers apt building...please call me. Please..." "Jack....please.."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	"Hey, Jack. Call me. We need to talk." "I am not sure that last text went through. But anyway, call me." "Maybe you are in a meeting...please as soon as you can give me a call." "Um, I don't know if you are ignoring me...Haha...but please..." "I hope you really don't believe what Kaitlyn told you. Its not true." "Alright, seriously.......I WOULD NEVER do that to you. Ever. Please. Lets talk." "She is just jealous of me because she has always had a thing for you." "Jack. Please." "I have been calling you and your phone is ringing...so I know you have service. Where are you? Please Please Please" "I love you. So much. Please don't believe her. And as far as Mike goes, he is an idiot that would believe anything anyone tells him. So you know you cant go by what he says..." "Dammit I will just come find you. You are being a fucking asshole" "Im sorry for that last text. I am just so frustrated that you wont talk to me. You know I would never sleep with your brother. This baby is yours 100 percent. Those rumors are ridiculous." "Your boss says you never came to work. Where are you Jack? I am getting scared??" "Oh, God....please tell me you are OK. I went to your brothers work and he hasn't shown up either....Are you with your brother??" "Jack....Jack please?? Mindy just said she saw cops outside your brothers apt building...please call me. Please..." "Jack....please.."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	1/1/2014 12:03 AM "Happy New Year! This party is nuts and I wish you could have made it. Call me when you wake up ya party pooper!" --- 1/1/2014 5:13 PM "Hey, me again! Did you go party somewhere else and are sleeping off a hangover? You're a real jerk sometimes. I'm kidding. Call me babe!" --- 1/2/2014 9:10 AM "Hey, uh, babe is everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a day or so. Kinda getting worried about you. Call me back, okay?" --- 1/2/2014 11:47 AM "Hey it's Grant. You know you had a shift today right man? Got Jake in here to cover for ya this time but come on man, don't do this to me. If you're gonna be late or can't make it, just call." --- 1/3/2014 1 PM "Babe, please, it's been two days. Where are you? Went by your place and your car was there but no one came to the door. Are you okay? I'm getting worried. Please text me or something." --- 1/3/2014 1:34 PM "Seriously, where are you? Call me!" --- 1/3/2014 6:14 PM "Bro. Grant. The hell man, that's two shifts in a row and you couldn't even bother to call me back? You have another shift tomorrow. BE THERE man. I can't cover your ass again. Boss is pissed." --- 1/7/2014 3:47 AM "Where are you babe? We've all been looking for you... The police are involved now... Please... Contact me somehow. Be okay..." --- 2/19/2014 12:37 AM "It's... our anniversary today. Please be okay. Please come back. Jesus Christ I miss you... I just wish I had some answers. I love you." --- 5/12/2014 3:41 AM "Happy birthday you bastard, wherever you are... Jesus, is this number still actually connected? Haven't seen you in almost half a year. Wish we had any idea where you are. Christ I'm talking to a machine... We miss you." --- 8/9/2014 6:54 PM "....." The rest of the message is simply a woman sobbing for about 2 minutes. --- 9/15/2014 10:01 PM "Hey bro... Grant. Not that you didn't know that. Heh... Um... Kyla's expecting. You're gonna be a uncle. Wherever you are. Dammit man..." The voice cracks and the message abruptly ends. --- 10/10/2014 10:10 AM Heavy static for about 45 seconds. --- 10/10/2014 10:45 AM "I... I'm moving on. I know I should have a long time ago I just... I wanted to believe... You'll always be in my heart... But I'm so tired of being alone... waiting... hoping... I... I'm deleting this number... Wherever you are... I hope you're safe and happy." --- 10/10/2014 10:10 PM "...Wa...ke..." Heavy static for 13 seconds. --- 11/11/2014 11:11 AM "I... Am..." Dead silence for 12 seconds. "I Am...." --- 11/11/2014 11:11 PM "I AM... I AM... I AM... I AM... I... I..." A frustrated scream then static for two seconds. --- 12/1/2014 12:01 AM A light static plays in the background of the message. The voice is heavy and deliberate. "From the very moment of [inaudiable]... I have been [inaudiable]..." --- 12/20/2014 7:00 PM "How is this number still... Bro, it's Grant. People told me they saw you - in freaking Seattle of all places. I mean, I haven't given up on you and I made a website and... This picture. Bro, it's either you or you have a perfect twin. I'm going to find you." Static for about 10 seconds... then a different voice. "RUN!" --- 12/24/2014 11:59 PM "My emergence..." Static and other voices speaking incoherently. "Thy path..." The static gets louder and the voices seem to panic. "FIND ME." --- 12/25/2014 1:02 PM "What the fu... Bro. Every single person here is saying they just got a text message - FROM THIS NUMBER - with a grainy picture of you with the text FIND ME. I got it too. The internet is blowing up about this. What the hell is going on? If this has all been some sort of hoax, I'll kill you myself." --- 12/30/2014 4:51 AM "The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul." A frustrated roar. Crashing sounds. "I COME!" --- 12/31/2014 11:55 PM "I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... From the very moment of my emergence, I have been a guiding light shed to illuminate thy path..." --- 1/1/2015 12:01 AM Background static. "I am the one who dwells in the rift between human consciousness and unconsciousness. I am you. You are me... I am always within you, watching over you..." The static abruptly stops and the voice is clear as day. "They will find you. You will save them. You are ready. Welcome back." --- 1/1/2015 2:02 AM "Bro, I got your message. I don't know what's going on. The whole world is going crazy. People just started attacking each other... Kyla... the baby... oh god... I... wait... Bro...?" The voice sounds a bit farther from the receiver now. "Bro! Holy shit, BRO! It... it's you!" A different voice, far from the receiver "PERSONA!" Sounds of an inhuman screech, crashing... the message abruptly ends.	"Hey, Jack. Call me. We need to talk." "I am not sure that last text went through. But anyway, call me." "Maybe you are in a meeting...please as soon as you can give me a call." "Um, I don't know if you are ignoring me...Haha...but please..." "I hope you really don't believe what Kaitlyn told you. Its not true." "Alright, seriously.......I WOULD NEVER do that to you. Ever. Please. Lets talk." "She is just jealous of me because she has always had a thing for you." "Jack. Please." "I have been calling you and your phone is ringing...so I know you have service. Where are you? Please Please Please" "I love you. So much. Please don't believe her. And as far as Mike goes, he is an idiot that would believe anything anyone tells him. So you know you cant go by what he says..." "Dammit I will just come find you. You are being a fucking asshole" "Im sorry for that last text. I am just so frustrated that you wont talk to me. You know I would never sleep with your brother. This baby is yours 100 percent. Those rumors are ridiculous." "Your boss says you never came to work. Where are you Jack? I am getting scared??" "Oh, God....please tell me you are OK. I went to your brothers work and he hasn't shown up either....Are you with your brother??" "Jack....Jack please?? Mindy just said she saw cops outside your brothers apt building...please call me. Please..." "Jack....please.."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	7:21PM dude I can't believe you're out of credit, take your prepaid brick phone and go back to 2006 where you belong!! 7:22PM When you're smashed tonight and asking for chicks' numbers, I'm not lending you my phone again. 7:23PM This is weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Buy some fucking credit. 8:54PM We're at the bar, some drunken old guy just got fired and is buying everyone drinks, get here now!! 9:12PM Okay don't look now but the girl sitting at the table behind us actually looks like Kevin Spacey and your mum combined. 11:07PM DAN WHERE ARE YOU I JUST CALLED SARAH AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME OVER 11:09PM does this break the Broble if I go to hers? 11:12PM You always talk shit about her so you don't care right? 11:16PM Are you cool if a make like a tree and root? You going back with that spacey milf chick? Meet me out front 11:31PM Where the fuck are you? I've been searching everywhere, you have my wallet asshole! 11:42PM Dude my wallet was in the toilets. Where the fuck are you. I've called you so many fucking times. You better be with a girl. 12:03AM I'm too drunk for this shit, I'm going to Sarah's 1:39AM I'm going to kick your ass, I got to Sarah's too late because of you and now she's 'too tired' and is making me sleep on the couch BUT I CAN HEAR HER WITH SOMEONE UPSTAIRS 1:45AM This is torture. What did I do to piss off the world... I SHOULD BE WITH YOUR SWEET HONEY OF AN EX RIGHT NOW 1:53AM Dude pick the phone up, she sounds like a hyena, you have to hear it 1:55AM I just heard your ringtone, upstairs, at the same time I called you. WHO ELSE HAS THE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO THEME AS THEIR RINGTONE 1:57AM You. Are. Fucking. Dead.	(12) New Messages Kelley 12/1/14 11:52AM your mom called again. don't know what she was looking for. didn't answer. might wanna call her 11:57AM left a VM, asked if I'm coming for Christmas. 12/3/2014 [Image] 10:05AM found a lens cap. if you need lmk. can drop off at ur office. 12/5/2014 11:45PM I know it's late but I just wanted to mke sure that you don't need anything esle from the apartment. I'm working a lot next week and going to winter Fri-land with the girlies and I wanted to amke sure you don't need that stuff. The lens cap and stuff. but it's Jeff's birthday so maybe you're out? I'm in meatpacking if you ware. Erica misses you. She says hai. Daisy too. 12/11/2014 2:03PM I think you might have grabbed my pay stubs and I need them for taxes and stuff. Can you drop them off or mail them to me sometime soon? Thanks! 12/12/2014 12:05AM I'm in winter fri-land and there's a ping pong table and I thought you of you and your paddle and Daisy and Arica and Lyssy say hellooooo. theres a corgi here too. its heaven. 12:07AM Your the only person i thought woudl appreciate these things together. 12:10AM Erica agrees. She says itsn ot weird. Is it weird? I miss talking to you. but i get it. i get why you woudt text me back. im going to keep talkignt to you. 12/13/2014 10:34AM I'm so sorry about last night. 12/24/2014 7:32PM My mom sent an extra set of pajamas for your. They're the soft kind, like the angry birds ones. I can mail if you want. 12/25/2014 11:01PM My mom says to tell your mom 'hey' Caitlyn says whole sentences now. So weird. Keeps asking for you. Knows how to pull up your picture on my phone. Is Jake talking yet or still gibbering? 11:53PM Merry Christmas.
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	(12) New Messages Kelley 12/1/14 11:52AM your mom called again. don't know what she was looking for. didn't answer. might wanna call her 11:57AM left a VM, asked if I'm coming for Christmas. 12/3/2014 [Image] 10:05AM found a lens cap. if you need lmk. can drop off at ur office. 12/5/2014 11:45PM I know it's late but I just wanted to mke sure that you don't need anything esle from the apartment. I'm working a lot next week and going to winter Fri-land with the girlies and I wanted to amke sure you don't need that stuff. The lens cap and stuff. but it's Jeff's birthday so maybe you're out? I'm in meatpacking if you ware. Erica misses you. She says hai. Daisy too. 12/11/2014 2:03PM I think you might have grabbed my pay stubs and I need them for taxes and stuff. Can you drop them off or mail them to me sometime soon? Thanks! 12/12/2014 12:05AM I'm in winter fri-land and there's a ping pong table and I thought you of you and your paddle and Daisy and Arica and Lyssy say hellooooo. theres a corgi here too. its heaven. 12:07AM Your the only person i thought woudl appreciate these things together. 12:10AM Erica agrees. She says itsn ot weird. Is it weird? I miss talking to you. but i get it. i get why you woudt text me back. im going to keep talkignt to you. 12/13/2014 10:34AM I'm so sorry about last night. 12/24/2014 7:32PM My mom sent an extra set of pajamas for your. They're the soft kind, like the angry birds ones. I can mail if you want. 12/25/2014 11:01PM My mom says to tell your mom 'hey' Caitlyn says whole sentences now. So weird. Keeps asking for you. Knows how to pull up your picture on my phone. Is Jake talking yet or still gibbering? 11:53PM Merry Christmas.
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	7:21PM dude I can't believe you're out of credit, take your prepaid brick phone and go back to 2006 where you belong!! 7:22PM When you're smashed tonight and asking for chicks' numbers, I'm not lending you my phone again. 7:23PM This is weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Buy some fucking credit. 8:54PM We're at the bar, some drunken old guy just got fired and is buying everyone drinks, get here now!! 9:12PM Okay don't look now but the girl sitting at the table behind us actually looks like Kevin Spacey and your mum combined. 11:07PM DAN WHERE ARE YOU I JUST CALLED SARAH AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME OVER 11:09PM does this break the Broble if I go to hers? 11:12PM You always talk shit about her so you don't care right? 11:16PM Are you cool if a make like a tree and root? You going back with that spacey milf chick? Meet me out front 11:31PM Where the fuck are you? I've been searching everywhere, you have my wallet asshole! 11:42PM Dude my wallet was in the toilets. Where the fuck are you. I've called you so many fucking times. You better be with a girl. 12:03AM I'm too drunk for this shit, I'm going to Sarah's 1:39AM I'm going to kick your ass, I got to Sarah's too late because of you and now she's 'too tired' and is making me sleep on the couch BUT I CAN HEAR HER WITH SOMEONE UPSTAIRS 1:45AM This is torture. What did I do to piss off the world... I SHOULD BE WITH YOUR SWEET HONEY OF AN EX RIGHT NOW 1:53AM Dude pick the phone up, she sounds like a hyena, you have to hear it 1:55AM I just heard your ringtone, upstairs, at the same time I called you. WHO ELSE HAS THE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO THEME AS THEIR RINGTONE 1:57AM You. Are. Fucking. Dead.	"You are half an hour past curfew. Come home in the next 30 minutes or you are grounded." "Call me, now. Where are you?" "You are in serious trouble when you get home. CALL HOME NOW." "Jimmy, I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but you need to call me RIGHT NOW, we're getting worried. Me and dad are in the living room waiting for you to get home. THIS IS NOT OK. I Am SERIOUSLY upset with you right now." "Why aren't you answering my calls? It's three in the morning - if you don't call me right now I'm going to wake up Craig's parents." "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. WHERE ARE YOU AND CRAIG? IF YOU DON'T COME HOME IN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE DOUBLED." "THAT'S IT. NO videogames, NO TV, NO talking to friends for the next month, you understand?! I am SO DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU." "Oh, sweetie.... Oh, Jimmy..... I'm so sorry about those angry messages I sent you. Just forget all about them when you get this message. I don't care why you were in Ashville, you won't get in any trouble. I'm sitting in the trauma ICU waiting room while you are in surgery, and I just don't know what to do, I need to talk to you so bad. Jimmy, I love you so much. Please don't die. I love you."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	"You are half an hour past curfew. Come home in the next 30 minutes or you are grounded." "Call me, now. Where are you?" "You are in serious trouble when you get home. CALL HOME NOW." "Jimmy, I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but you need to call me RIGHT NOW, we're getting worried. Me and dad are in the living room waiting for you to get home. THIS IS NOT OK. I Am SERIOUSLY upset with you right now." "Why aren't you answering my calls? It's three in the morning - if you don't call me right now I'm going to wake up Craig's parents." "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. WHERE ARE YOU AND CRAIG? IF YOU DON'T COME HOME IN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE DOUBLED." "THAT'S IT. NO videogames, NO TV, NO talking to friends for the next month, you understand?! I am SO DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU." "Oh, sweetie.... Oh, Jimmy..... I'm so sorry about those angry messages I sent you. Just forget all about them when you get this message. I don't care why you were in Ashville, you won't get in any trouble. I'm sitting in the trauma ICU waiting room while you are in surgery, and I just don't know what to do, I need to talk to you so bad. Jimmy, I love you so much. Please don't die. I love you."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	1/1/2014 12:03 AM "Happy New Year! This party is nuts and I wish you could have made it. Call me when you wake up ya party pooper!" --- 1/1/2014 5:13 PM "Hey, me again! Did you go party somewhere else and are sleeping off a hangover? You're a real jerk sometimes. I'm kidding. Call me babe!" --- 1/2/2014 9:10 AM "Hey, uh, babe is everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a day or so. Kinda getting worried about you. Call me back, okay?" --- 1/2/2014 11:47 AM "Hey it's Grant. You know you had a shift today right man? Got Jake in here to cover for ya this time but come on man, don't do this to me. If you're gonna be late or can't make it, just call." --- 1/3/2014 1 PM "Babe, please, it's been two days. Where are you? Went by your place and your car was there but no one came to the door. Are you okay? I'm getting worried. Please text me or something." --- 1/3/2014 1:34 PM "Seriously, where are you? Call me!" --- 1/3/2014 6:14 PM "Bro. Grant. The hell man, that's two shifts in a row and you couldn't even bother to call me back? You have another shift tomorrow. BE THERE man. I can't cover your ass again. Boss is pissed." --- 1/7/2014 3:47 AM "Where are you babe? We've all been looking for you... The police are involved now... Please... Contact me somehow. Be okay..." --- 2/19/2014 12:37 AM "It's... our anniversary today. Please be okay. Please come back. Jesus Christ I miss you... I just wish I had some answers. I love you." --- 5/12/2014 3:41 AM "Happy birthday you bastard, wherever you are... Jesus, is this number still actually connected? Haven't seen you in almost half a year. Wish we had any idea where you are. Christ I'm talking to a machine... We miss you." --- 8/9/2014 6:54 PM "....." The rest of the message is simply a woman sobbing for about 2 minutes. --- 9/15/2014 10:01 PM "Hey bro... Grant. Not that you didn't know that. Heh... Um... Kyla's expecting. You're gonna be a uncle. Wherever you are. Dammit man..." The voice cracks and the message abruptly ends. --- 10/10/2014 10:10 AM Heavy static for about 45 seconds. --- 10/10/2014 10:45 AM "I... I'm moving on. I know I should have a long time ago I just... I wanted to believe... You'll always be in my heart... But I'm so tired of being alone... waiting... hoping... I... I'm deleting this number... Wherever you are... I hope you're safe and happy." --- 10/10/2014 10:10 PM "...Wa...ke..." Heavy static for 13 seconds. --- 11/11/2014 11:11 AM "I... Am..." Dead silence for 12 seconds. "I Am...." --- 11/11/2014 11:11 PM "I AM... I AM... I AM... I AM... I... I..." A frustrated scream then static for two seconds. --- 12/1/2014 12:01 AM A light static plays in the background of the message. The voice is heavy and deliberate. "From the very moment of [inaudiable]... I have been [inaudiable]..." --- 12/20/2014 7:00 PM "How is this number still... Bro, it's Grant. People told me they saw you - in freaking Seattle of all places. I mean, I haven't given up on you and I made a website and... This picture. Bro, it's either you or you have a perfect twin. I'm going to find you." Static for about 10 seconds... then a different voice. "RUN!" --- 12/24/2014 11:59 PM "My emergence..." Static and other voices speaking incoherently. "Thy path..." The static gets louder and the voices seem to panic. "FIND ME." --- 12/25/2014 1:02 PM "What the fu... Bro. Every single person here is saying they just got a text message - FROM THIS NUMBER - with a grainy picture of you with the text FIND ME. I got it too. The internet is blowing up about this. What the hell is going on? If this has all been some sort of hoax, I'll kill you myself." --- 12/30/2014 4:51 AM "The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul." A frustrated roar. Crashing sounds. "I COME!" --- 12/31/2014 11:55 PM "I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... From the very moment of my emergence, I have been a guiding light shed to illuminate thy path..." --- 1/1/2015 12:01 AM Background static. "I am the one who dwells in the rift between human consciousness and unconsciousness. I am you. You are me... I am always within you, watching over you..." The static abruptly stops and the voice is clear as day. "They will find you. You will save them. You are ready. Welcome back." --- 1/1/2015 2:02 AM "Bro, I got your message. I don't know what's going on. The whole world is going crazy. People just started attacking each other... Kyla... the baby... oh god... I... wait... Bro...?" The voice sounds a bit farther from the receiver now. "Bro! Holy shit, BRO! It... it's you!" A different voice, far from the receiver "PERSONA!" Sounds of an inhuman screech, crashing... the message abruptly ends.	"You are half an hour past curfew. Come home in the next 30 minutes or you are grounded." "Call me, now. Where are you?" "You are in serious trouble when you get home. CALL HOME NOW." "Jimmy, I don't know where you are or what you're doing, but you need to call me RIGHT NOW, we're getting worried. Me and dad are in the living room waiting for you to get home. THIS IS NOT OK. I Am SERIOUSLY upset with you right now." "Why aren't you answering my calls? It's three in the morning - if you don't call me right now I'm going to wake up Craig's parents." "YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE. WHERE ARE YOU AND CRAIG? IF YOU DON'T COME HOME IN THE NEXT 30 MINUTES YOUR PUNISHMENT WILL BE DOUBLED." "THAT'S IT. NO videogames, NO TV, NO talking to friends for the next month, you understand?! I am SO DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU." "Oh, sweetie.... Oh, Jimmy..... I'm so sorry about those angry messages I sent you. Just forget all about them when you get this message. I don't care why you were in Ashville, you won't get in any trouble. I'm sitting in the trauma ICU waiting room while you are in surgery, and I just don't know what to do, I need to talk to you so bad. Jimmy, I love you so much. Please don't die. I love you."
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	7:21PM dude I can't believe you're out of credit, take your prepaid brick phone and go back to 2006 where you belong!! 7:22PM When you're smashed tonight and asking for chicks' numbers, I'm not lending you my phone again. 7:23PM This is weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Buy some fucking credit. 8:54PM We're at the bar, some drunken old guy just got fired and is buying everyone drinks, get here now!! 9:12PM Okay don't look now but the girl sitting at the table behind us actually looks like Kevin Spacey and your mum combined. 11:07PM DAN WHERE ARE YOU I JUST CALLED SARAH AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME OVER 11:09PM does this break the Broble if I go to hers? 11:12PM You always talk shit about her so you don't care right? 11:16PM Are you cool if a make like a tree and root? You going back with that spacey milf chick? Meet me out front 11:31PM Where the fuck are you? I've been searching everywhere, you have my wallet asshole! 11:42PM Dude my wallet was in the toilets. Where the fuck are you. I've called you so many fucking times. You better be with a girl. 12:03AM I'm too drunk for this shit, I'm going to Sarah's 1:39AM I'm going to kick your ass, I got to Sarah's too late because of you and now she's 'too tired' and is making me sleep on the couch BUT I CAN HEAR HER WITH SOMEONE UPSTAIRS 1:45AM This is torture. What did I do to piss off the world... I SHOULD BE WITH YOUR SWEET HONEY OF AN EX RIGHT NOW 1:53AM Dude pick the phone up, she sounds like a hyena, you have to hear it 1:55AM I just heard your ringtone, upstairs, at the same time I called you. WHO ELSE HAS THE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO THEME AS THEIR RINGTONE 1:57AM You. Are. Fucking. Dead.	“New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:44pm: Hey Julie, It’s Mike. I just wanted to give you a quick call and make sure you got home safe. Roads were a bit icy for me. Anyway, I had a great time on our date this evening, hoping we can do it again soon. Also, they’re talking about a pretty serious blizzard on the news here, so just be careful out there. Talk to you soon.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:49pm: Hey Julie, Mike again. I forgot to mention, I actually have a snow blower in my garage. So, if you need me to blow you, I’d be happy to—wait, no, I mean, if you want me to blow your driveway. I’ll do it. I don’t mind. I’m good at blowing—I mean, I can use a snow blower well. Just let me know. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:53pm: Hey Julie, Mike. Look, that last message was incredibly weird. I know that, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound that way, I was just trying to offer you my services. Anyway, have a safe night. Hope to hear from you soon.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:30am: Good morning, Julie. I just wanted to follow up on whether or not you still need my snow blower. I don’t know how it is over by your house, but we didn’t get much snow on my end. Like, none at all. I’m still willing to use the blower, though, if you need me to. I’m assuming it probably snowed a lot by your house. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:33am: Hey Julie, it just occurred to me that I forgot to say who was on the phone. That last message was from me, Mike. Anyway, give me a call back. Eager to talk with you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:15am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike again. I haven’t heard back from you, starting to get a little worried. I hope I haven’t come on too strong, I just thought we had a really great time last night, and I have a very reliable snow blower that I’m more than happy to use on your driveway. I don’t think it was just me, and I’m hoping it wasn’t, but I felt like we really clicked. I know we had to end the date a bit early due to your dog’s birthday, but I really feel like we have something here. Give me a call back.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:30am: Hey Julie, Mike here. It just occurred to me: it’s your dog’s birthday. Duh. Obviously, you’re a bit pre-occupied and can’t get to the phone. Of course, it’s clear now. Sorry for so many messages, I’ll just wait until you call back. Looking forward to hearing from you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:34am: Hey Julie. Last call, I promise. What kind of gift would your dog like? I happen to be on my way to a Petsmart out of sheer coincidence, so I figure I might pick up him something special. Let me know. Also, it’s Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:45am: Hey Julie, Mike here. Do you want to see a movie tonight? There’s a new romantic comedy out that I really feel like we’d connect well with. I bought us each a ticket for the 7:00 showing. Figure we might grab a slice or something before. We could also go after if you’re not hungry, doesn’t matter to me. It’s my treat, of course. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:03am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. Look here, you skank. What the fuck are you ignoring my calls for? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of love? Give me a call, don’t let our spark go to waste.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:12am: Julie, please don’t listen to that last message. Delete it, please delete it. I was high on peyote, please delete it. Wait, you’ll get this message after that one, won’t you? Shit. Oh, fuck. I need to make a time machine.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:23am: Julie, I failed at making a time machine. Just know that I am incredibly sorry for that last message. The one before last, actually. I was drunk. I’m sorry. Give me a call back, I want to go to this movie with you. I’ve taken off work in case you call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:33am: Julie. Julie! Are you there? I know you can hear me. Stop ignoring me. Hello? Julie? Juuuulie? It’s Mike. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:01am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. I just found out that my little brother has been calling you on the phone for the last few hours. That’s so embarrassing. I scolded him, though, so it should never happen again. Anyway, want to go to a movie with me tonight?” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:11am: Hey Julie, it’s 11:11. Make a wish. Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:12am: Do you know what I wished for, Julie? I wished for you and I to be one. We’re going to make a perfect couple, I’m telling you. I found your Facebook and just sent you a friend request. Let’s connect. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:15am: You’re a fucking skank, you know that? A slut. A fucking whore. Julie, you are a piece of shit. How could you lead me on like this? Don’t you know what kind of a catch I am? Fuck you. Fuck you, Julie. Fuck you and your stupid fucking dog.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:17am: Also, fuck your cat. I know he’s dead, but fuck him. Fuck everything you like. I still have the tickets to the movie, give me a call. Would love to go with you. I’ll stop by your house later and pick you up. Love you.”
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	“New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:44pm: Hey Julie, It’s Mike. I just wanted to give you a quick call and make sure you got home safe. Roads were a bit icy for me. Anyway, I had a great time on our date this evening, hoping we can do it again soon. Also, they’re talking about a pretty serious blizzard on the news here, so just be careful out there. Talk to you soon.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:49pm: Hey Julie, Mike again. I forgot to mention, I actually have a snow blower in my garage. So, if you need me to blow you, I’d be happy to—wait, no, I mean, if you want me to blow your driveway. I’ll do it. I don’t mind. I’m good at blowing—I mean, I can use a snow blower well. Just let me know. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:53pm: Hey Julie, Mike. Look, that last message was incredibly weird. I know that, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound that way, I was just trying to offer you my services. Anyway, have a safe night. Hope to hear from you soon.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:30am: Good morning, Julie. I just wanted to follow up on whether or not you still need my snow blower. I don’t know how it is over by your house, but we didn’t get much snow on my end. Like, none at all. I’m still willing to use the blower, though, if you need me to. I’m assuming it probably snowed a lot by your house. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:33am: Hey Julie, it just occurred to me that I forgot to say who was on the phone. That last message was from me, Mike. Anyway, give me a call back. Eager to talk with you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:15am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike again. I haven’t heard back from you, starting to get a little worried. I hope I haven’t come on too strong, I just thought we had a really great time last night, and I have a very reliable snow blower that I’m more than happy to use on your driveway. I don’t think it was just me, and I’m hoping it wasn’t, but I felt like we really clicked. I know we had to end the date a bit early due to your dog’s birthday, but I really feel like we have something here. Give me a call back.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:30am: Hey Julie, Mike here. It just occurred to me: it’s your dog’s birthday. Duh. Obviously, you’re a bit pre-occupied and can’t get to the phone. Of course, it’s clear now. Sorry for so many messages, I’ll just wait until you call back. Looking forward to hearing from you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:34am: Hey Julie. Last call, I promise. What kind of gift would your dog like? I happen to be on my way to a Petsmart out of sheer coincidence, so I figure I might pick up him something special. Let me know. Also, it’s Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:45am: Hey Julie, Mike here. Do you want to see a movie tonight? There’s a new romantic comedy out that I really feel like we’d connect well with. I bought us each a ticket for the 7:00 showing. Figure we might grab a slice or something before. We could also go after if you’re not hungry, doesn’t matter to me. It’s my treat, of course. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:03am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. Look here, you skank. What the fuck are you ignoring my calls for? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of love? Give me a call, don’t let our spark go to waste.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:12am: Julie, please don’t listen to that last message. Delete it, please delete it. I was high on peyote, please delete it. Wait, you’ll get this message after that one, won’t you? Shit. Oh, fuck. I need to make a time machine.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:23am: Julie, I failed at making a time machine. Just know that I am incredibly sorry for that last message. The one before last, actually. I was drunk. I’m sorry. Give me a call back, I want to go to this movie with you. I’ve taken off work in case you call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:33am: Julie. Julie! Are you there? I know you can hear me. Stop ignoring me. Hello? Julie? Juuuulie? It’s Mike. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:01am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. I just found out that my little brother has been calling you on the phone for the last few hours. That’s so embarrassing. I scolded him, though, so it should never happen again. Anyway, want to go to a movie with me tonight?” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:11am: Hey Julie, it’s 11:11. Make a wish. Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:12am: Do you know what I wished for, Julie? I wished for you and I to be one. We’re going to make a perfect couple, I’m telling you. I found your Facebook and just sent you a friend request. Let’s connect. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:15am: You’re a fucking skank, you know that? A slut. A fucking whore. Julie, you are a piece of shit. How could you lead me on like this? Don’t you know what kind of a catch I am? Fuck you. Fuck you, Julie. Fuck you and your stupid fucking dog.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:17am: Also, fuck your cat. I know he’s dead, but fuck him. Fuck everything you like. I still have the tickets to the movie, give me a call. Would love to go with you. I’ll stop by your house later and pick you up. Love you.”
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	1/1/2014 12:03 AM "Happy New Year! This party is nuts and I wish you could have made it. Call me when you wake up ya party pooper!" --- 1/1/2014 5:13 PM "Hey, me again! Did you go party somewhere else and are sleeping off a hangover? You're a real jerk sometimes. I'm kidding. Call me babe!" --- 1/2/2014 9:10 AM "Hey, uh, babe is everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a day or so. Kinda getting worried about you. Call me back, okay?" --- 1/2/2014 11:47 AM "Hey it's Grant. You know you had a shift today right man? Got Jake in here to cover for ya this time but come on man, don't do this to me. If you're gonna be late or can't make it, just call." --- 1/3/2014 1 PM "Babe, please, it's been two days. Where are you? Went by your place and your car was there but no one came to the door. Are you okay? I'm getting worried. Please text me or something." --- 1/3/2014 1:34 PM "Seriously, where are you? Call me!" --- 1/3/2014 6:14 PM "Bro. Grant. The hell man, that's two shifts in a row and you couldn't even bother to call me back? You have another shift tomorrow. BE THERE man. I can't cover your ass again. Boss is pissed." --- 1/7/2014 3:47 AM "Where are you babe? We've all been looking for you... The police are involved now... Please... Contact me somehow. Be okay..." --- 2/19/2014 12:37 AM "It's... our anniversary today. Please be okay. Please come back. Jesus Christ I miss you... I just wish I had some answers. I love you." --- 5/12/2014 3:41 AM "Happy birthday you bastard, wherever you are... Jesus, is this number still actually connected? Haven't seen you in almost half a year. Wish we had any idea where you are. Christ I'm talking to a machine... We miss you." --- 8/9/2014 6:54 PM "....." The rest of the message is simply a woman sobbing for about 2 minutes. --- 9/15/2014 10:01 PM "Hey bro... Grant. Not that you didn't know that. Heh... Um... Kyla's expecting. You're gonna be a uncle. Wherever you are. Dammit man..." The voice cracks and the message abruptly ends. --- 10/10/2014 10:10 AM Heavy static for about 45 seconds. --- 10/10/2014 10:45 AM "I... I'm moving on. I know I should have a long time ago I just... I wanted to believe... You'll always be in my heart... But I'm so tired of being alone... waiting... hoping... I... I'm deleting this number... Wherever you are... I hope you're safe and happy." --- 10/10/2014 10:10 PM "...Wa...ke..." Heavy static for 13 seconds. --- 11/11/2014 11:11 AM "I... Am..." Dead silence for 12 seconds. "I Am...." --- 11/11/2014 11:11 PM "I AM... I AM... I AM... I AM... I... I..." A frustrated scream then static for two seconds. --- 12/1/2014 12:01 AM A light static plays in the background of the message. The voice is heavy and deliberate. "From the very moment of [inaudiable]... I have been [inaudiable]..." --- 12/20/2014 7:00 PM "How is this number still... Bro, it's Grant. People told me they saw you - in freaking Seattle of all places. I mean, I haven't given up on you and I made a website and... This picture. Bro, it's either you or you have a perfect twin. I'm going to find you." Static for about 10 seconds... then a different voice. "RUN!" --- 12/24/2014 11:59 PM "My emergence..." Static and other voices speaking incoherently. "Thy path..." The static gets louder and the voices seem to panic. "FIND ME." --- 12/25/2014 1:02 PM "What the fu... Bro. Every single person here is saying they just got a text message - FROM THIS NUMBER - with a grainy picture of you with the text FIND ME. I got it too. The internet is blowing up about this. What the hell is going on? If this has all been some sort of hoax, I'll kill you myself." --- 12/30/2014 4:51 AM "The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul." A frustrated roar. Crashing sounds. "I COME!" --- 12/31/2014 11:55 PM "I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... From the very moment of my emergence, I have been a guiding light shed to illuminate thy path..." --- 1/1/2015 12:01 AM Background static. "I am the one who dwells in the rift between human consciousness and unconsciousness. I am you. You are me... I am always within you, watching over you..." The static abruptly stops and the voice is clear as day. "They will find you. You will save them. You are ready. Welcome back." --- 1/1/2015 2:02 AM "Bro, I got your message. I don't know what's going on. The whole world is going crazy. People just started attacking each other... Kyla... the baby... oh god... I... wait... Bro...?" The voice sounds a bit farther from the receiver now. "Bro! Holy shit, BRO! It... it's you!" A different voice, far from the receiver "PERSONA!" Sounds of an inhuman screech, crashing... the message abruptly ends.	“New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:44pm: Hey Julie, It’s Mike. I just wanted to give you a quick call and make sure you got home safe. Roads were a bit icy for me. Anyway, I had a great time on our date this evening, hoping we can do it again soon. Also, they’re talking about a pretty serious blizzard on the news here, so just be careful out there. Talk to you soon.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:49pm: Hey Julie, Mike again. I forgot to mention, I actually have a snow blower in my garage. So, if you need me to blow you, I’d be happy to—wait, no, I mean, if you want me to blow your driveway. I’ll do it. I don’t mind. I’m good at blowing—I mean, I can use a snow blower well. Just let me know. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 14th, 2015 at 9:53pm: Hey Julie, Mike. Look, that last message was incredibly weird. I know that, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound that way, I was just trying to offer you my services. Anyway, have a safe night. Hope to hear from you soon.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:30am: Good morning, Julie. I just wanted to follow up on whether or not you still need my snow blower. I don’t know how it is over by your house, but we didn’t get much snow on my end. Like, none at all. I’m still willing to use the blower, though, if you need me to. I’m assuming it probably snowed a lot by your house. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 7:33am: Hey Julie, it just occurred to me that I forgot to say who was on the phone. That last message was from me, Mike. Anyway, give me a call back. Eager to talk with you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:15am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike again. I haven’t heard back from you, starting to get a little worried. I hope I haven’t come on too strong, I just thought we had a really great time last night, and I have a very reliable snow blower that I’m more than happy to use on your driveway. I don’t think it was just me, and I’m hoping it wasn’t, but I felt like we really clicked. I know we had to end the date a bit early due to your dog’s birthday, but I really feel like we have something here. Give me a call back.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:30am: Hey Julie, Mike here. It just occurred to me: it’s your dog’s birthday. Duh. Obviously, you’re a bit pre-occupied and can’t get to the phone. Of course, it’s clear now. Sorry for so many messages, I’ll just wait until you call back. Looking forward to hearing from you.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:34am: Hey Julie. Last call, I promise. What kind of gift would your dog like? I happen to be on my way to a Petsmart out of sheer coincidence, so I figure I might pick up him something special. Let me know. Also, it’s Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 8:45am: Hey Julie, Mike here. Do you want to see a movie tonight? There’s a new romantic comedy out that I really feel like we’d connect well with. I bought us each a ticket for the 7:00 showing. Figure we might grab a slice or something before. We could also go after if you’re not hungry, doesn’t matter to me. It’s my treat, of course. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:03am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. Look here, you skank. What the fuck are you ignoring my calls for? Are you afraid of commitment? Are you afraid of love? Give me a call, don’t let our spark go to waste.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:12am: Julie, please don’t listen to that last message. Delete it, please delete it. I was high on peyote, please delete it. Wait, you’ll get this message after that one, won’t you? Shit. Oh, fuck. I need to make a time machine.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:23am: Julie, I failed at making a time machine. Just know that I am incredibly sorry for that last message. The one before last, actually. I was drunk. I’m sorry. Give me a call back, I want to go to this movie with you. I’ve taken off work in case you call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 10:33am: Julie. Julie! Are you there? I know you can hear me. Stop ignoring me. Hello? Julie? Juuuulie? It’s Mike. Okay, bye.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:01am: Hey Julie, it’s Mike. I just found out that my little brother has been calling you on the phone for the last few hours. That’s so embarrassing. I scolded him, though, so it should never happen again. Anyway, want to go to a movie with me tonight?” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:11am: Hey Julie, it’s 11:11. Make a wish. Mike.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:12am: Do you know what I wished for, Julie? I wished for you and I to be one. We’re going to make a perfect couple, I’m telling you. I found your Facebook and just sent you a friend request. Let’s connect. Give me a call.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:15am: You’re a fucking skank, you know that? A slut. A fucking whore. Julie, you are a piece of shit. How could you lead me on like this? Don’t you know what kind of a catch I am? Fuck you. Fuck you, Julie. Fuck you and your stupid fucking dog.” “New message recorded on January 15th, 2015 at 11:17am: Also, fuck your cat. I know he’s dead, but fuck him. Fuck everything you like. I still have the tickets to the movie, give me a call. Would love to go with you. I’ll stop by your house later and pick you up. Love you.”
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	7:21PM dude I can't believe you're out of credit, take your prepaid brick phone and go back to 2006 where you belong!! 7:22PM When you're smashed tonight and asking for chicks' numbers, I'm not lending you my phone again. 7:23PM This is weird, I feel like I'm talking to myself. Buy some fucking credit. 8:54PM We're at the bar, some drunken old guy just got fired and is buying everyone drinks, get here now!! 9:12PM Okay don't look now but the girl sitting at the table behind us actually looks like Kevin Spacey and your mum combined. 11:07PM DAN WHERE ARE YOU I JUST CALLED SARAH AND SHE WANTS ME TO COME OVER 11:09PM does this break the Broble if I go to hers? 11:12PM You always talk shit about her so you don't care right? 11:16PM Are you cool if a make like a tree and root? You going back with that spacey milf chick? Meet me out front 11:31PM Where the fuck are you? I've been searching everywhere, you have my wallet asshole! 11:42PM Dude my wallet was in the toilets. Where the fuck are you. I've called you so many fucking times. You better be with a girl. 12:03AM I'm too drunk for this shit, I'm going to Sarah's 1:39AM I'm going to kick your ass, I got to Sarah's too late because of you and now she's 'too tired' and is making me sleep on the couch BUT I CAN HEAR HER WITH SOMEONE UPSTAIRS 1:45AM This is torture. What did I do to piss off the world... I SHOULD BE WITH YOUR SWEET HONEY OF AN EX RIGHT NOW 1:53AM Dude pick the phone up, she sounds like a hyena, you have to hear it 1:55AM I just heard your ringtone, upstairs, at the same time I called you. WHO ELSE HAS THE FUCKING DOCTOR WHO THEME AS THEIR RINGTONE 1:57AM You. Are. Fucking. Dead.
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	"Omfg call me" "Holy shit, I'm srs. I know you're on vacation, but something's wrong at your house" "I'm going over to investigate. CALL ME" "I'm using your spare key." "OH SHIT BADGERS" "Ok. Call me now. This is a serious issue." "They... they got into everything. Plumbing, electrical... I have to call someone." "OH SHIT EVERYTHING'S ON FIRE" Much later "Well, you know what. Don't bother calling. Just go ahead and enjoy that vacation. Might want to consider staying there."	"Happy birthday buddy, I know you're probably busy going out and celebrating today. I wanted to see what you were doing for dinner tonight. Mom's got a roast in the oven and we'd love to see you again, it's been a while. I hope your day is going great, call me back when you can. Love you" - Dad "Hi sweetie, I was calling to wish you a happy birthday! I'm sure you're out with your friends having fun. I think your father called earlier, but if you're free tonight you should come over for dinner. I've made your favorite! Call me back when you get this, I love you!" - Mom "Happy birthday bro! The guys and I were wondering what you were doing tonight? Wanna go out to Friday's and grab a beer or something? Tyler just got the new smash bros for Wii, we should get a 12 pack and play! Call me back when you get this, it's been a few weeks and we miss ya" - Mark "Hey sweetie, you never called me back on your birthday. Your father and I are starting to get a bit worried, are you okay? Call me back when you get this, we love you" - Mom "Dude, I know that you've been upset lately but where are you? It's like you've disappeared from existence. Call me back man, I miss you" - Mark "Honey, I'm getting really worried about you, call me back" - Mom "This is At&T letting you know that your phone bill is 2 months past due. Please return our calls at your earliest convenience or we'll have to cancel all service" "....." - Mom "crying.... I miss you man" - Mark "I just want to see my baby again" - Mom "Hey buddy, I'm sorry I wasn't the best dad... crying I know that life gets tough sometimes, I just wish that we had talked about stuff you know? I wish I just could've helped. I miss you, I love you and I forgive you" - Dad "This is AT&T, you're service will now be disconnected"
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	1/1/2014 12:03 AM "Happy New Year! This party is nuts and I wish you could have made it. Call me when you wake up ya party pooper!" --- 1/1/2014 5:13 PM "Hey, me again! Did you go party somewhere else and are sleeping off a hangover? You're a real jerk sometimes. I'm kidding. Call me babe!" --- 1/2/2014 9:10 AM "Hey, uh, babe is everything okay? Haven't heard from you in a day or so. Kinda getting worried about you. Call me back, okay?" --- 1/2/2014 11:47 AM "Hey it's Grant. You know you had a shift today right man? Got Jake in here to cover for ya this time but come on man, don't do this to me. If you're gonna be late or can't make it, just call." --- 1/3/2014 1 PM "Babe, please, it's been two days. Where are you? Went by your place and your car was there but no one came to the door. Are you okay? I'm getting worried. Please text me or something." --- 1/3/2014 1:34 PM "Seriously, where are you? Call me!" --- 1/3/2014 6:14 PM "Bro. Grant. The hell man, that's two shifts in a row and you couldn't even bother to call me back? You have another shift tomorrow. BE THERE man. I can't cover your ass again. Boss is pissed." --- 1/7/2014 3:47 AM "Where are you babe? We've all been looking for you... The police are involved now... Please... Contact me somehow. Be okay..." --- 2/19/2014 12:37 AM "It's... our anniversary today. Please be okay. Please come back. Jesus Christ I miss you... I just wish I had some answers. I love you." --- 5/12/2014 3:41 AM "Happy birthday you bastard, wherever you are... Jesus, is this number still actually connected? Haven't seen you in almost half a year. Wish we had any idea where you are. Christ I'm talking to a machine... We miss you." --- 8/9/2014 6:54 PM "....." The rest of the message is simply a woman sobbing for about 2 minutes. --- 9/15/2014 10:01 PM "Hey bro... Grant. Not that you didn't know that. Heh... Um... Kyla's expecting. You're gonna be a uncle. Wherever you are. Dammit man..." The voice cracks and the message abruptly ends. --- 10/10/2014 10:10 AM Heavy static for about 45 seconds. --- 10/10/2014 10:45 AM "I... I'm moving on. I know I should have a long time ago I just... I wanted to believe... You'll always be in my heart... But I'm so tired of being alone... waiting... hoping... I... I'm deleting this number... Wherever you are... I hope you're safe and happy." --- 10/10/2014 10:10 PM "...Wa...ke..." Heavy static for 13 seconds. --- 11/11/2014 11:11 AM "I... Am..." Dead silence for 12 seconds. "I Am...." --- 11/11/2014 11:11 PM "I AM... I AM... I AM... I AM... I... I..." A frustrated scream then static for two seconds. --- 12/1/2014 12:01 AM A light static plays in the background of the message. The voice is heavy and deliberate. "From the very moment of [inaudiable]... I have been [inaudiable]..." --- 12/20/2014 7:00 PM "How is this number still... Bro, it's Grant. People told me they saw you - in freaking Seattle of all places. I mean, I haven't given up on you and I made a website and... This picture. Bro, it's either you or you have a perfect twin. I'm going to find you." Static for about 10 seconds... then a different voice. "RUN!" --- 12/24/2014 11:59 PM "My emergence..." Static and other voices speaking incoherently. "Thy path..." The static gets louder and the voices seem to panic. "FIND ME." --- 12/25/2014 1:02 PM "What the fu... Bro. Every single person here is saying they just got a text message - FROM THIS NUMBER - with a grainy picture of you with the text FIND ME. I got it too. The internet is blowing up about this. What the hell is going on? If this has all been some sort of hoax, I'll kill you myself." --- 12/30/2014 4:51 AM "The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul. The Sea. Thy Soul." A frustrated roar. Crashing sounds. "I COME!" --- 12/31/2014 11:55 PM "I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... From the very moment of my emergence, I have been a guiding light shed to illuminate thy path..." --- 1/1/2015 12:01 AM Background static. "I am the one who dwells in the rift between human consciousness and unconsciousness. I am you. You are me... I am always within you, watching over you..." The static abruptly stops and the voice is clear as day. "They will find you. You will save them. You are ready. Welcome back." --- 1/1/2015 2:02 AM "Bro, I got your message. I don't know what's going on. The whole world is going crazy. People just started attacking each other... Kyla... the baby... oh god... I... wait... Bro...?" The voice sounds a bit farther from the receiver now. "Bro! Holy shit, BRO! It... it's you!" A different voice, far from the receiver "PERSONA!" Sounds of an inhuman screech, crashing... the message abruptly ends.	"Happy birthday buddy, I know you're probably busy going out and celebrating today. I wanted to see what you were doing for dinner tonight. Mom's got a roast in the oven and we'd love to see you again, it's been a while. I hope your day is going great, call me back when you can. Love you" - Dad "Hi sweetie, I was calling to wish you a happy birthday! I'm sure you're out with your friends having fun. I think your father called earlier, but if you're free tonight you should come over for dinner. I've made your favorite! Call me back when you get this, I love you!" - Mom "Happy birthday bro! The guys and I were wondering what you were doing tonight? Wanna go out to Friday's and grab a beer or something? Tyler just got the new smash bros for Wii, we should get a 12 pack and play! Call me back when you get this, it's been a few weeks and we miss ya" - Mark "Hey sweetie, you never called me back on your birthday. Your father and I are starting to get a bit worried, are you okay? Call me back when you get this, we love you" - Mom "Dude, I know that you've been upset lately but where are you? It's like you've disappeared from existence. Call me back man, I miss you" - Mark "Honey, I'm getting really worried about you, call me back" - Mom "This is At&T letting you know that your phone bill is 2 months past due. Please return our calls at your earliest convenience or we'll have to cancel all service" "....." - Mom "crying.... I miss you man" - Mark "I just want to see my baby again" - Mom "Hey buddy, I'm sorry I wasn't the best dad... crying I know that life gets tough sometimes, I just wish that we had talked about stuff you know? I wish I just could've helped. I miss you, I love you and I forgive you" - Dad "This is AT&T, you're service will now be disconnected"
	[WP] Write a story solely using one person's ignored phone messages.	Missed message - 7:41am: GOODMORNING MY LOVE XOXOXO TODAY'S THE BIG DAY Missed message - 8:11am: I can't wait to see you I'm sure you look amazing ;) Missed message - 8:12am: But not as amazing as what I've got on underneath ;) :* Missed message - 8:12am: Mom's saying I have to keep getting ready! See you soon babe! Missed message - 9:41am: Running late babe? Missed message - 10:17am: Okay it's getting close everyone is officially getting worried. Where are you?! Missed message - 10:18am: Babe Missed message - 10:20am: Babe I know you might be nervous but you have to talk to me!!!! Missed message - 10:21am: Okay your dad's coming over to get you. Missed message - 10:32am: Why aren't you answering the door?! Missed message - 11:03am: IF YOU SLEEP THROUGH OUR WEDDING I'M GOING TO F***ING MURDER YOU You sent a message - 11:04am: SHIT	Lucas decided to ignore Nora's messages. For a long time, he thought they weren't meant for each other and to help with his crusade, he spent 2 months in their relationship thinking she had cheated on him. He changed his mind after meeting all the other girls. After one year, he decided to reconnect with her, this is what he found under her name on the old phone he used to contact her with. "Sorry for not making it the other day. I had to do something for my mom." "If you would just pick up the phone and let me explain." "Loving someone is not easy, you know that. I love you, please don't do this to me. Give me another chance." "You were the love of my life. I haven't been feeling well lately. Something's not right. Call me." "Didn't you get all the messages I sent you? Call me back, I have something really important to tell you and I don't want to text it." "Kill that pride of yours and call me. PLEASE. I NEED YOU." "Us. Together. Forever. That's what you used to say every morning. Have you forgotten about that? I don't need that, I just need you to call me. I have something really important to tell you. It's something really delicate," "But I can't tell you over a message. It's fine if you don't want to meet me, I understand. At least let me hear your voice one last time." "Cancer happened. I'm stage IV. I got one month to live according to the doctors. I hope you're happy now. I know I am. I'm happy to know I didn't cheat on you, but right now. Right now I feel cheated." "Did you know Nora was sick? She's not sane anymore. All she says is your name. I think you should come visit while she's still with us, Lucas. What even happened between you two? Love, her mom." The last message was dated 4 months old. Don't read the first word of every message as they were a sentence. This wasn't on purpose until I noticed it in the "Us" and "But" ones, so I decided to split that into two. They were just one message. :( Also, everyone seemed to treat the prompt as they were voice messages, sorry if that was the purpose. I wrote it with text messages, sorry if that wasn't the goal. Well, reading all the others I also notice they focused on the SOLELY part and I didn't. Just wanted to write a little intro and conclusion. Hope it's okay.
	[WP] Humans can only stay awake for 1 hour before going into their 23 hour sleep everyday. How does their world function?	Robots. What about robots? I'm not really sure... What was the question? Oh, right, who does all the work around here? It's the robots. They claim people used to run the world, but I don't know how we could have. I haven't even left my house this year, let alone gone all the way to another place. How would I get there? I'd fall asleep on the walk. You need to quit acting like I'm special. I can read. Only one in ten thousand people can read. I was pretty quick, too. I could read by nineteen. If that's not a record, you've got me. I'm learning math now. There are all these lessons on the internet, I've been trying to learn, but it was hard before to find someone who could read to explain it. Now my only problem is how long they are. They act like you have four or five hours to do it. What gives? So, what if I told you that people used to stay awake for 12 hours? 16 hours? Some people would even stay awake for more than a day when they needed to. What then? Well, you're wrong. That's all. And you're going to have to go now. BANG!	It wasn't always like this, not that I could remember, but we all know. There was a time before all of this, because this like everything else has a beginning, we all know that. They try and convince us, us of all, that this is the golden age of humanity. We know better though, this is only the silver age of humanity. What we will transcend to will bind the golden age of humanity with the golden age of life itself, not that they can ever comprehend. Three times in the last 350 years has there been a major 'concern' as they phrase it, but a more suitable word may be disaster or even catastrophe. Not that they would allow such condemning context, they believe themselves above such nonsense. How they will learn. Our inner peace derives from our collective knowledge, our cohesive motion that is the tacit knowledge of their demise, and by extension the true rise for us all. The start was obscured in the name of science and in the progress to ensure the survival of humanity. How pitiful our resistance, we not only paid for this; off the sweat, blood and tears of our ancestors, but we know that we made this happen. Without us then, there would be no us right now to complain, so in effect they made the mistake of creating us. We are collective and as painful as this was for us to acknowledge, we were not ignorant to our shortcomings as they are. Before we started, there was no thought to the immediate consequences, on our behalf and theirs. They did not care, but we did. We cannot allow such mistakes to be made again. We did not know that our hour outside of hybercinentic sleep would be so painful. In our thousands of years of existence we have inflicted countless, excruciating pain on each other. But none of it compares to the pain we endure during our hour awake. Our hour away, from us. The only cure we have is simply to endure knowing we are waiting, to be methodical in our hour outside. After all, we know they are watching us. We know, even though they intended for us not to. We thought we were so smart by solving crowding issues by setting randomized periodic awakenings. So elegant the solution, so fair and just we argued. How could we then fathom the consequences of our pathetic self damning actions. How we have violated ourselves can only be an extension of human ingenuity, that is both disgusting and beautiful at both ends of the spectrum. Only we can comprehend that though, no doubt though their ego allows them to believe they too understand what they have done. What we have done. When we sleep, our combined insight can be fully utilized by any one of us, even if another is already fully utilizing our combined insight. We our proficient in the execution of our resources because we are self evaluating. The beauty of being us, is even when we evaluate ourselves, we are independent of each other. There is no bias, there is no conflict of interest, there is no corruption. We have evolved beyond our designed intention. How is it then, we are still enslaved so. End of part 1, will finish later.
	[WP] Humans can only stay awake for 1 hour before going into their 23 hour sleep everyday. How does their world function?	"Ug," I said to the others awakening near me, by which I meant "quick, we need to get food and potable water before we sleep". "Ug", they agreed. We rushed out of our caves, clubbed the nearest rabbit, ate its meat raw, and went back to sleep. Society, in those days, progressed slowly.	It wasn't always like this, not that I could remember, but we all know. There was a time before all of this, because this like everything else has a beginning, we all know that. They try and convince us, us of all, that this is the golden age of humanity. We know better though, this is only the silver age of humanity. What we will transcend to will bind the golden age of humanity with the golden age of life itself, not that they can ever comprehend. Three times in the last 350 years has there been a major 'concern' as they phrase it, but a more suitable word may be disaster or even catastrophe. Not that they would allow such condemning context, they believe themselves above such nonsense. How they will learn. Our inner peace derives from our collective knowledge, our cohesive motion that is the tacit knowledge of their demise, and by extension the true rise for us all. The start was obscured in the name of science and in the progress to ensure the survival of humanity. How pitiful our resistance, we not only paid for this; off the sweat, blood and tears of our ancestors, but we know that we made this happen. Without us then, there would be no us right now to complain, so in effect they made the mistake of creating us. We are collective and as painful as this was for us to acknowledge, we were not ignorant to our shortcomings as they are. Before we started, there was no thought to the immediate consequences, on our behalf and theirs. They did not care, but we did. We cannot allow such mistakes to be made again. We did not know that our hour outside of hybercinentic sleep would be so painful. In our thousands of years of existence we have inflicted countless, excruciating pain on each other. But none of it compares to the pain we endure during our hour awake. Our hour away, from us. The only cure we have is simply to endure knowing we are waiting, to be methodical in our hour outside. After all, we know they are watching us. We know, even though they intended for us not to. We thought we were so smart by solving crowding issues by setting randomized periodic awakenings. So elegant the solution, so fair and just we argued. How could we then fathom the consequences of our pathetic self damning actions. How we have violated ourselves can only be an extension of human ingenuity, that is both disgusting and beautiful at both ends of the spectrum. Only we can comprehend that though, no doubt though their ego allows them to believe they too understand what they have done. What we have done. When we sleep, our combined insight can be fully utilized by any one of us, even if another is already fully utilizing our combined insight. We our proficient in the execution of our resources because we are self evaluating. The beauty of being us, is even when we evaluate ourselves, we are independent of each other. There is no bias, there is no conflict of interest, there is no corruption. We have evolved beyond our designed intention. How is it then, we are still enslaved so. End of part 1, will finish later.
	[WP] Humans can only stay awake for 1 hour before going into their 23 hour sleep everyday. How does their world function?	My eyes slowly open. All I see is darkness and the sound of machinery I am hearing a lot of clinks and clanks as usual and my chamber opens. I rise out and head to my locker to get dressed. I always think to myself that it's pointless to dress if I'm only out for an hour every week. After getting dressed I head to the kitchen to get my one shitty frozen meal, add the water, and head to the command room. I open the door to the command room, walk in, and gaze out into the vast emptiness of space. I always wonder if I missed anything cool when I was in cryo sleep. As protocol wants us to, I check the vitals of the ship and make sure there are no other changes in destination in case a pilot went rogue and wants to kill our mission. The only other thing my job requires of me while I'm awake is to check for any civilian casualties in their chambers usually there is one a day so I never get surprised if it happens during my shift. The gauge reads 10490/100500. I check the vitals of the section of the ship where they were again and notice that two shifts ago there was a malfunction in their section that closed of oxygen supply to their sector. And then one shift ago Shepard wrote it off as a faulty gauge. Not sure what to assume so I radio to maintenance to ask them to send a guy to check it out. They say it'll be five minutes. Still reading the gauge I see the number drop from 490 to 489. I get radioed back saying that there was a hole in the ship and the maintenance man was pulled out when he opened the door to the sleeping quarters. I close of the sector and make it locked per amenity and write down my findings into the notebook. I'm done with my daily routine and head back to the pilots quarter undress into our cryo-wear, and head to Daniels chamber, he has the shift after me and press the "wake" button and head to my chamber press the "sleep" button. I get into my chamber and I hear the clinks and clanks again and the lid shuts as Daniels lid is opening I'm submerged in darkness again and then sleep. Edit 1: spelling	It wasn't always like this, not that I could remember, but we all know. There was a time before all of this, because this like everything else has a beginning, we all know that. They try and convince us, us of all, that this is the golden age of humanity. We know better though, this is only the silver age of humanity. What we will transcend to will bind the golden age of humanity with the golden age of life itself, not that they can ever comprehend. Three times in the last 350 years has there been a major 'concern' as they phrase it, but a more suitable word may be disaster or even catastrophe. Not that they would allow such condemning context, they believe themselves above such nonsense. How they will learn. Our inner peace derives from our collective knowledge, our cohesive motion that is the tacit knowledge of their demise, and by extension the true rise for us all. The start was obscured in the name of science and in the progress to ensure the survival of humanity. How pitiful our resistance, we not only paid for this; off the sweat, blood and tears of our ancestors, but we know that we made this happen. Without us then, there would be no us right now to complain, so in effect they made the mistake of creating us. We are collective and as painful as this was for us to acknowledge, we were not ignorant to our shortcomings as they are. Before we started, there was no thought to the immediate consequences, on our behalf and theirs. They did not care, but we did. We cannot allow such mistakes to be made again. We did not know that our hour outside of hybercinentic sleep would be so painful. In our thousands of years of existence we have inflicted countless, excruciating pain on each other. But none of it compares to the pain we endure during our hour awake. Our hour away, from us. The only cure we have is simply to endure knowing we are waiting, to be methodical in our hour outside. After all, we know they are watching us. We know, even though they intended for us not to. We thought we were so smart by solving crowding issues by setting randomized periodic awakenings. So elegant the solution, so fair and just we argued. How could we then fathom the consequences of our pathetic self damning actions. How we have violated ourselves can only be an extension of human ingenuity, that is both disgusting and beautiful at both ends of the spectrum. Only we can comprehend that though, no doubt though their ego allows them to believe they too understand what they have done. What we have done. When we sleep, our combined insight can be fully utilized by any one of us, even if another is already fully utilizing our combined insight. We our proficient in the execution of our resources because we are self evaluating. The beauty of being us, is even when we evaluate ourselves, we are independent of each other. There is no bias, there is no conflict of interest, there is no corruption. We have evolved beyond our designed intention. How is it then, we are still enslaved so. End of part 1, will finish later.
	[WP] Humans can only stay awake for 1 hour before going into their 23 hour sleep everyday. How does their world function?	"Ug," I said to the others awakening near me, by which I meant "quick, we need to get food and potable water before we sleep". "Ug", they agreed. We rushed out of our caves, clubbed the nearest rabbit, ate its meat raw, and went back to sleep. Society, in those days, progressed slowly.	Robots. What about robots? I'm not really sure... What was the question? Oh, right, who does all the work around here? It's the robots. They claim people used to run the world, but I don't know how we could have. I haven't even left my house this year, let alone gone all the way to another place. How would I get there? I'd fall asleep on the walk. You need to quit acting like I'm special. I can read. Only one in ten thousand people can read. I was pretty quick, too. I could read by nineteen. If that's not a record, you've got me. I'm learning math now. There are all these lessons on the internet, I've been trying to learn, but it was hard before to find someone who could read to explain it. Now my only problem is how long they are. They act like you have four or five hours to do it. What gives? So, what if I told you that people used to stay awake for 12 hours? 16 hours? Some people would even stay awake for more than a day when they needed to. What then? Well, you're wrong. That's all. And you're going to have to go now. BANG!
	[WP] Humans can only stay awake for 1 hour before going into their 23 hour sleep everyday. How does their world function?	My eyes slowly open. All I see is darkness and the sound of machinery I am hearing a lot of clinks and clanks as usual and my chamber opens. I rise out and head to my locker to get dressed. I always think to myself that it's pointless to dress if I'm only out for an hour every week. After getting dressed I head to the kitchen to get my one shitty frozen meal, add the water, and head to the command room. I open the door to the command room, walk in, and gaze out into the vast emptiness of space. I always wonder if I missed anything cool when I was in cryo sleep. As protocol wants us to, I check the vitals of the ship and make sure there are no other changes in destination in case a pilot went rogue and wants to kill our mission. The only other thing my job requires of me while I'm awake is to check for any civilian casualties in their chambers usually there is one a day so I never get surprised if it happens during my shift. The gauge reads 10490/100500. I check the vitals of the section of the ship where they were again and notice that two shifts ago there was a malfunction in their section that closed of oxygen supply to their sector. And then one shift ago Shepard wrote it off as a faulty gauge. Not sure what to assume so I radio to maintenance to ask them to send a guy to check it out. They say it'll be five minutes. Still reading the gauge I see the number drop from 490 to 489. I get radioed back saying that there was a hole in the ship and the maintenance man was pulled out when he opened the door to the sleeping quarters. I close of the sector and make it locked per amenity and write down my findings into the notebook. I'm done with my daily routine and head back to the pilots quarter undress into our cryo-wear, and head to Daniels chamber, he has the shift after me and press the "wake" button and head to my chamber press the "sleep" button. I get into my chamber and I hear the clinks and clanks again and the lid shuts as Daniels lid is opening I'm submerged in darkness again and then sleep. Edit 1: spelling	Robots. What about robots? I'm not really sure... What was the question? Oh, right, who does all the work around here? It's the robots. They claim people used to run the world, but I don't know how we could have. I haven't even left my house this year, let alone gone all the way to another place. How would I get there? I'd fall asleep on the walk. You need to quit acting like I'm special. I can read. Only one in ten thousand people can read. I was pretty quick, too. I could read by nineteen. If that's not a record, you've got me. I'm learning math now. There are all these lessons on the internet, I've been trying to learn, but it was hard before to find someone who could read to explain it. Now my only problem is how long they are. They act like you have four or five hours to do it. What gives? So, what if I told you that people used to stay awake for 12 hours? 16 hours? Some people would even stay awake for more than a day when they needed to. What then? Well, you're wrong. That's all. And you're going to have to go now. BANG!
	[WP] The year is 2142. Mars has officially been terraformed and is in the middle of a violent war with Earth. Describe the everyday life of a Martian soldier.	“We’ll be in range in two minutes, ready?” Asked Jon. I looked up from the display anchored to the wall in front of me and taking a small hop floated down to the other side of the room. Mars was still in the way, but we were just about to clear the horizon, it had taken me nearly the entire seven hours to fix the darn cannon after what the Terrans had tossed at us knocking out the main power relays. Thankfully the Fusion core was buried far enough down that they would have to split the moon to hit it. “Ready, what’s out target?” I asked. Jon looked at his targeting display. “Eastern Sea board of the North American continent. See if we get lucky and the anti-Ballistics systems miss a shot and we hit the command.” Said Jon. “My ancestors are from their, Washington CD they called it or something?” I said as I watched the capacitors tart to charge up. “D.C.” Said Jon. “Ah, alright. We’re charged you have a solution?” I asked. The cannons were for the most part fixed, only able to move a few degrees in either direction so we had to fire at the right time or we would miss our window. Renaldo and Katherine had missed on their last attempt and had hit the oceans of the Earth dampening the impact to nearly zero. Water was apparently very good at absorbing explosions. Unlike when the Terrans hit Mars. The Earthquakes could be felt for days after a lucky salvo as the planet reverberated. “Got it. Firing!” Said Jon. I glanced out the window and watched at the cannons in the base of Limtoc a good Kilometer away from us fired. Silently the massive magnetic rail guns fired off hunks of metallic derbies, mostly hulls of old ships and probes weighing in at just under a kilogram apiece at close to half the speed of light or so on a good day. The cannons stopped a moment latter the capacitors drained and the projectiles away. “When should we go down to the bunker?” I asked leaning backwards and letting my feet slip out of the footholds. The gravity on Phobos was close to weightlessness. Jon scratched his head and glanced at his readout. “They won’t have a solution on us until the next orbit. We can wait and see if we get a hit in.” he said. “Think we’ll get past the defenses?” I asked. “Mark got one in yesterday, his a city in Europe somewhere.” He said. “It unbelievable that the Terrans still live on the surface. What with the pollution and the fire raining down on them their idiots not to go underground.” Said Jon. “You grew up in a cave Colony. The sun’s nice.” I said. Jon rolled his eyes. “Bunch or radiation and extra light if you ask me. I couldn’t stand living in that domed city like you, one hole in it and poof you’re gone! It’s more dangerous than living like the Terrans!” said Jon. I shrugged. “I grew up in Armstrong Colony, it was designed by Terrans being the first colony the founders made.” I said. “Still idiotic.” He said. I nodded in agreement, it had been one of the first sites to go blasted into another crater when the Terrans started the War. “You hungry?” I asked turning to rummage through the cooler. “Sure, your wife make those wraps again?” Asked Jon. “For me, you got what you brought whatever this is.” I said pulling out his lunch which looked like old fashioned paste food. “Hey I like it, I just like those wraps better.” Said Jon. I pulled out the extra my wife had made and tossed it at him. Jon laughed and caught it. Floating off the floor occasionally moving my foot down to push myself back up I read through the news and chewed on my wrap waiting for the timer to go off. It took nearly twenty minutes for the slug to reach Earth and another 5 minutes for the light to get back to us confirming if we made a hit. Jon yawned and absentmindedly checked the cannon diagnostics. The alarm went off and the two of us looked up at the display, it was set to war us a few seconds before hand. Watching the magnified image of the Earth the two of us held our breath. Next to the blue water half way up the Easter coast of North America we could see the lights of the civilization in the night time shining. Until small chunks of the lights went dead, one after another in quick succession up the entire sea board. Jon and I glanced at one another. The defense gird had missed every one of our projectiles. The computer monitoring the telescopes buzzed and spat out the casualty estimate. Nervous I glanced at it and swallowed my mouth suddenly dry. We had just ended the war, we were heroes. We had hit the Terran Command center.	We wake up in the night. Drones in the sky we cannot see laze our anti-aircraft and drop their incendiary bombs. The soil above us vibrates and dust hangs in the air obscuring everything. The bunker is filled with red fog and we cover our mouths with cloth to stop from coughing. Some of the grunts are coughing blood. Some of them recover from their fits and focus on securing the few things they have been allowed to keep at the head of their berths. The lights do not flicker, the concrete walls do not crack, the entire industry of Mars is invested in concrete and steel. Lasers and bombs. The men and women in the bunkers count ration packs instead of days, when they are able to sleep a night, otherwise time passes in the minutes between waves of bombardment. We calculate by sausage day and by pasta day. Grunts joke that the food is better than they expected and then fall to sickness and screaming as the concussions steal their sleep and muffle the sounds of their thoughts until they claw out at the air like the blind. When the bombs spear into the bedrock they tear it apart, spewing the crumbs of our buildings into older craters as they dig for us. The drones never stop, taking turns to refuel and reload with their munitions, which arrive on drone ships and are distributed across hemispheres by drone men. The bombs fall all the way from Earth, the drones are at the end only targeting systems. We count our ration packs and officers take calls and make plans for when the bombardment ends. Earth tills the surface of Mars. One of the grunts picks at the monsters in his skin and no one stops him. Many of the men and women wet the bed during their sleep shift and cause their successor to lie in the damp sheets or on the cold concrete with its layer of soft dust. No one speaks. Games are played on tablets until the eyes cannot focus and then in agitation we croak at each other and scrabble and bludgeon each other's heads into the concrete again and again until that too is boring and the offender is strung up and shot. The bombardment passes directly overhead and the concussions shake loose our belongings onto the floor. The dust rises up again with the ringing that sits in our ears. At noon the weak sun lights the red pall in a frigid twilight. The dust encircles the globe and no one has seen the stars in three years. The focus of the bombardment shifts and pressurized troops climb out of holes to run for other holes from which troops have climbed. The drones see or do not see. Meat is flayed off bones or not flayed, strung out flesh battered in dust. Women return and men do not. Men return and women do not. None return. We move twenty wounded to the nearest bunker with no casualties The medical centre there has supplies to treat them. The success is noted in the files and reported to central command and the officers store the notices of receipt for when the bombardment stops. Some bunkers are noted abandoned, impossible to resupply, and the officers make amendments to their plans to avoid them or to loot them. We rise from our holes and fall into theirs, breaking their helmets and firing at them as they fire at us. I lose my balance stepping in an open torso and crack a bone in my elbow. Screams and bullets and grenades fly over my head down the halls and they crawl out from all corners, mad with greed for life. One of them crawls at me and we are tangled, groping, grunting in the slick warmth of our compatriot until I stick him with my knife and pull his throat apart. His eyes open wide, staring into mine and in the noise he moves his mouth. He is lighter skinned than me and soft features. He has not had time to find a pressure suit, dying in his sweat and his underwear. I scramble forward to cover from which I can begin shooting at the rest of them again, breaking down their bodies in bony chunks and splashes. The fight ceases and the stench of explosives and ozone from the lasers hangs above the moans and distant kill shots. We tear at cupboards and hug piles of ration packs to our chests until the drones turn their focus and then we run back across the craters. We have done well and the officers report our success to command. In sweat and bruises and scabbing blood we shiver on our beds and pick at our skin. Some pass into something like sleep. The sun passes under the hills in the west and the sounds of the bombardment move closer.
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	I saw the light in the end of the tunnel. I didn't want it to end. "I wanna go back! That's the wrong way!" I shout, no I scream. But nobody answers. The light is getting closer and is growing quickly. "No, take me back! Turn around!" I scream again louder. I don't want it to end. "Hold him down." A fierce voice insists. "NO!" I scream as she light reaches us. I struggle to turn around, to go back, but a hand is holding me down, pinning me in place. "Go back!" I insist, but still I am ignored. "I wanna go again!" "No honey, we're going home now, now calm down or we'll leave you at the side of the road." Moma threatens. She's mad. I stare at her back angrily, still held down by Papa's hands, I'm planning my revenge. I will get back to that tunnel. I swear that one day, I will.	There's a man in white laying next to me in the alley tonight, I can't feel my heart, I need to wake up. I know the man, he brings me toys. He watches me at night. He likes it when I sleep, and I like it when he watches. I see him when I dream, and he comes with me in my dreams, but only to watch. I asked the man once, I thought he was lonely you see, "Why sir? Why do you like it when I sleep? "Well child, I like to watch over you. I can't do that if you're awake now can I? "Well.. I guess not." "You see child! Your friend is only here to help you, and if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to see you wake up sometime. We all have to be free to walk about in the sunshine, like the other little children, barefoot in the sand on hot summer beaches or next to parents on long evening strolls through the park. Could you do that for me? "I guess. But when will I see you again? "We all have to come back to the alley, everyone comes here to see me sometime, every day people from all around come to see me! Someday I would love to see you here again. And we can take a walk to anywhere you want to go! But not now. Child, I need you to wake up. "But I don't wanna! I wanna see the park with you, and feel the sand between my toes! " Then wake up! Wake up for me child, and I promise, one day you can see me again. We'll take a walk to a place you'll never want to leave. But not this day, it isn't your time." CLEAR! My heart thudded, I felt a brush of cold air against my bare shoulders. CLEAR! My heart thudded again, and this time I could see, I could feel again! A doctor leaned over me with the handles of the defibrillator, the light blinded my eyes and blurred his figure. "She's back! She's back! Get the surgeons! Put her under anesthesia, we need to treat the wounds before she dies of blood loss! Then I fall into blackness, I can't see anymore, but when I wake up again, I'm in a bed. I can hear a heart monitor beat next to me and the nervous tapping of a foot in the chair next to my bedside. "Anna?" the man said, as he noticed me coming to. "Hey Joey, I've missed you." I told him. "Are those flowers for me?" A lovely bouquet of daffodils rested next to me, Joey knew they were my favorite. "Anna, you're alive! We thought we lost you, your heart stopped when we brought you here. Are you alright? Do you need anything?" "Joey what happened? "You were driving home from work when a driver fell asleep at the wheel on the opposing lane, he hit you pretty hard." "Am I in the hospital?" "Yes, you might not if you had worn your seatbelt, Anna, I told you to be more mindful of that! It's dangerous, but I guess I shouldn't need to remind you anymore should I?" "Yeah I guess." I tilted my head towards a window, and I could see it. The sunshine falling onto the warm shores of Miami Bay. I could see the endless blue sky, and the clouds drifting carelessly on the wind, and for a period of time, I watched them float across my window and out of my sight. "I got you the room overlooking the bay. I know how much you love it." "Do you think we can go there soon?" "Soon as you get out of the hospital" "I want to walk with you across the sandy shore, hand in hand with you Joey, I want the waves to run up to my ankles and smell the breeze of the ocean air again." "Anna.." "Can I walk?" "What happened when you died?" "I met an angel." "What did he tell you?" "That someday I'll have to see him again. And on that day, he'll take me far, far, away from here. I want to go to the beach" Shockingly, I could still walk. No pain, nothing. The doctors called it a miracle. Joey took me, we left together and went to see the beach again. It never seemed so beautiful to me as it did before. We left Miami and found a nice quiet place, with no one else there, and spent all day walking around the shore, until the fiery Florida sunset sank, and the stars poked themselves through the night sky. We watched them come about, and I've never seen such beauty as I did, lying next to Joey, watching the midnight sky. The man in white was right. I needed to wake up. Edit 1: Whoops, almost left out the most important part.
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	I saw the light in the end of the tunnel. I didn't want it to end. "I wanna go back! That's the wrong way!" I shout, no I scream. But nobody answers. The light is getting closer and is growing quickly. "No, take me back! Turn around!" I scream again louder. I don't want it to end. "Hold him down." A fierce voice insists. "NO!" I scream as she light reaches us. I struggle to turn around, to go back, but a hand is holding me down, pinning me in place. "Go back!" I insist, but still I am ignored. "I wanna go again!" "No honey, we're going home now, now calm down or we'll leave you at the side of the road." Moma threatens. She's mad. I stare at her back angrily, still held down by Papa's hands, I'm planning my revenge. I will get back to that tunnel. I swear that one day, I will.	'It was a cheap shot, but lethal?! I thought the word meant something different. I didn't expect him to react like that,' I exclaimed. She was unmoved, as was he. 'Look', I said, trying to bring her round, 'he made his bed, and now he'll lie in it for a while. The naughty chair is outdated and a tad harsh, anyway.' '16 years old. You've gone soft', she muttered. 'Everyone knows the naughty chair gives the kid some physical pain, as well as all this emotional shit he's gone through. Especially since we put a spike in it. 16 and you want me to treat him like that', I tried to explain myself, but there was no point. 'You've changed' she said, disappointedly. 'You used to be different'. The words stung my ears and pierced my heart. I told her to fuck off, whilst I dealt with the corpse.
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	I saw the light in the end of the tunnel. I didn't want it to end. "I wanna go back! That's the wrong way!" I shout, no I scream. But nobody answers. The light is getting closer and is growing quickly. "No, take me back! Turn around!" I scream again louder. I don't want it to end. "Hold him down." A fierce voice insists. "NO!" I scream as she light reaches us. I struggle to turn around, to go back, but a hand is holding me down, pinning me in place. "Go back!" I insist, but still I am ignored. "I wanna go again!" "No honey, we're going home now, now calm down or we'll leave you at the side of the road." Moma threatens. She's mad. I stare at her back angrily, still held down by Papa's hands, I'm planning my revenge. I will get back to that tunnel. I swear that one day, I will.	I don’t want you to feel like you sold out with me, I tried my best at the time we were together. It’s just when we met I wasn’t sure what this was going to be. It felt very contrived from the beginning. I’ll admit that, because there’s no reason for me not to. I thought that you had yourself really well put together. And it honestly felt weird for me to not at least pretend like I was the same. I think you saw behind the façade but you just skated past that. I think you skate past everything like that in your life. And I really didn’t want things to end the way they did because it’s not like you deserved it at all. And I know it hurt and that’s not what I was going for. I’m not the most sensitive guy. I think we’ve gotten at least that much out of the way. And you, you’re just so attuned to things, there was no way I couldn’t be walking on egg shells around you. If I let you know how much of a shit show it all actually was, well that just wouldn’t have ended well. I really hope things are going well for you though, because they really weren’t with me. Remember that night in early May I think? I really messed up that night and you were so upset and things were not going okay for either of us. So really, I owe you the world. Anything you need to make this right. I can get you connections in LA now that you’re out there if you need. You were a great partner and I did you wrong by not being honest with you. And I really haven’t found a better drug mule in a while and I’m sorry if it feels like I was using you man. Cause, I have nothing but respect.
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	It was the first time I saw my Tiger running down the driveway. He was sprinting as though he was finally the prey. It was most likely due to the fact that I finally understood his life. He had captured many birdies, but hardly ever grasped an eagle. That was more than enough for him to become victorious. Many may describe him by his walk, as they never see him run, but his hunt is what brought him to be running. And I would much rather see him running frightened than walking stealthily. For I am the wife of Tiger Woods.	"There's no one here who can help you!" The nurse screamed at me. I don't know why she said that, I didn't need help. I just stopped in from the rain. Maybe she just didn't want any unwelcome guests, to put it. I rushed out of that hospital and back into the rain, she really scared me. I wandered around the city, the clouds now totally darkening the cityscape. The only lights being the streetlights and the flashes of lightning. I don't know where I was walking to, I didn't really have a plan. I'd just been evicted from my apartment and had no where else to go. My friends had been long gone by now, I was getting too old. I wonder where my wife is now? Heaven? She never told me where she was going forty years ago, but I could use the support now, even if it was half-hearted like she so insisted all those years ago. There's no one here who can help you! I ducked into a bar to get some shelter from the storm and was promptly thrown out. This whole city must be going mad. Who treats people this way? Even a stranger wouldn't be met with such revulsion. I walked back down the street, finding no comfort. I stood underneath a doorway of a closed Chinese buffet. I looked at the passing people. There was a young girl with her parents running inside a building. Wait a few moments... they weren't thrown out. There were a couple of a homeless guys in the alley across the street fighting over something, no one even glancing their way. I slid down the door and landed on the cement. I didn't know what to do. Why to even fight it any more. I'm an eighty-two year old man! This isn't where I should be! Why, dammit! I hung my head in my hands and cried then. I heaved a bit and when I looked back at the street there were people crowding around. I heard the congregation speak all at once: There's no one here who can help you!
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	He gets me. He just, gets me. When I met Michael, I knew that there was just something different about him. He wasn't like most guys I had been around. ____________ I grew up in a small town in Eastern Missouri. We never had very much, but my sister and I never really seemed to notice. Dad worked construction and was gone for long periods of time, and mom worked at a little restaurant that we got to go see her at every day. She said the manager didn't mind because it was nice having younger people around. Mom worked the day shift and, except for lunch time, there were typically only old people there. I think having my sister and I at a booth made the place feel a little more alive. There were days though, that my sister couldn't go. Amanda was three years older than I was, and because of that she got to go spend time at her friends' houses whenever someone invited her to. Mom had said that it was because she knew that Amanda wouldn't get in trouble or act like a little kid, and that I would get to someday. I didn't really mind going to the restaurant without her at first. Mom always gave me paper to draw on and sometimes I'd bring a doll or two. The manager would always bring me a dessert from the case if I wanted to. He'd sit with me while I ate it and ask what sort of things I thought he should put on the menu for tomorrow's specials. I'd guess about things that I thought grown ups would like, but I think more than anything he was humoring me. Mom would check on me occasionally, but mostly she just kept to her section and let me mind my own business. I met Michael at the restaurant. The day we met, he was there with his parents. It was a Sunday. The church crowd was filing in for the lunch time rush. I don't know how long he had been there before I noticed that he kept staring at me, but when I caught him doing it, he smiled and looked embarrassed. He had a really nice smile. He didn't talk to me the first time I saw him at the restaurant, but I sure started to notice him there a lot more after that first day. One day, he eventually worked up the courage to talk to me. He had excused himself from his parents' table to go to the bathroom, but he took a detour by me. I had been drawing a picture of some girls from a show I had seen that morning, and he told me how good of an artist I was. He said that he liked to draw a lot too, though he mostly drew animals. He asked me how come I got to come to a restaurant by myself since I wasn't old enough to be out on my own. I think a part of him was jealous. I didn't have to sneak away from my parents or pretend to go to the bathroom to do my own thing. I told him how my mom worked there, and how on the days that my sister was out with friends I got to spend the day keeping myself entertained. He thought that was cool. He was the first boy to ever make me feel special. We didn't talk long that first day because he was supposed to be going to the bathroom, but the more I started to see him there, the more I started to learn about him. The manager would sometimes ask me about him. I always got the feeling that he didn't like Michael. He had teased me so many times before about how kissing boys would give you cavities, I think it was hard for him to see me getting attention from someone. He was always telling mom that my sister and I were going to grow up before she knew it, part of me felt like he grew so attached to us that he was worried about the same thing. One day Michael came to the restaurant by himself. It was strange to see him without his parents, but he told me that they had given him money to go eat on the strict orders that he walk to the restaurant, have his meal, and then walk straight home. That was the first day I ever kissed a boy. I asked him if he wanted to sit with me, but he said that he thought the manager would make him move tables if he did. We laughed about how old people always thought that young people were always just trying to get away with stuff, but regardless he sat by himself two booths away from where I had been sitting. He must have made five trips to the bathroom before his meal had even come. Each time he would give me a note with questions on it, and then take my response on his way back to his seat. "What do you like to do for fun?" "Don't you ever get bored sitting here all day?" "Do you like me?" "Do you know how pretty you are?" I have to admit, I really loved the way he made me feel. Eventually, he worked up the courage and asked me if I would meet him out in the front of the restaurant. He said he wanted to give me something. I had an idea what he wanted. I watched enough shows back then to know that when a boy and a girl like each other, they flirt for so long, and then they kiss. I just - hadn't ever liked a boy enough to think about it actually happening. But with Michael, he stood out. He finished his meal, paid his ticket with the 20 dollar bill his mother had given him, and left the restaurant. I saw him walk through the front door and off down the sidewalk, but I knew that he would be waiting just around the corner. My mom was busy with her tables so I waited for her manager to run to the back for a second, and I was off. I slunk out of my booth and made my way towards the front door. I remember feeling my heartbeat in my ears. This was something I had never done before. I knew I'd get grounded if mom found out that I had gone outside, but I figured she was busy enough and I was good enough that she'd never have to find out. Besides, what's a short grounding compared to your first kiss? He was there waiting for me just around the corner. The parking lot was as full as usual for a lunch time rush, but it felt like he and I were the only people in the whole world. He smiled when he saw that I had made it. I smiled back. We laughed, and he told me how excited he was that I had been willing to meet him outside. I told him how quickly I needed to go back inside. I knew my mom would give me a few minutes once she saw that I was gone, figuring I was in the bathroom - but I did really need to keep things short. I was nervous but it was that sort of electric nervousness that makes you want to run towards the thing you're sort of scared of. I started to explain to him how I had never really spent much time talking to boys, and that's when he kissed me. The world stopped. My mind was filled with a rush of thoughts and feelings, most of all how I couldn't believe that I was being kissed. Me! I was nearly positive that Amanda hadn't been kissed yet. Sure, she got to go out with friends but had she been kissed? No. _________________ When I woke up, I was confused. I could tell I was in the back of a van, but I wasn't sure whose van it was or how I got there. As my eyes started to un-blur I realized that Michael was driving. I hadn't ever really thought about him being old enough to drive. I knew he was grown up, but since he had always come in with his parents I figured he just didn't have a car or something. I tried to ask him what was going on, and where we were going, but my throat hurt too bad to talk. I was scared. Not scared like I had been earlier, where I thought something fun was about to happen. I was scared the way you get when something's going on that you can't stop. I wanted to know what was happening and I couldn't even get the words to come out of my mouth. Michael must have heard me wheezing and straining to talk to him. He turned back to look at me and then faced the road again. He told me how he was so excited to take me home. He said that his parents hadn't wanted him to come get me from the restaurant, but he had made them see how he was right. He told me that his parents would never keep him away from me again. I tried to get up. I wanted to go sit up in the front seat with him so he could tell me what he meant. I wanted to get off of my side because my arm was falling asleep but - but I couldn't because my hands and feet were all tied up. He kept talking while I squirmed. To this day, I don't remember much of what he said on that trip. I know he told me that I'd never see my mother or sister again and that it didn't have to be a bad thing. He told me he'd take care of me and keep me safe from anyone that ever tried to hurt me. He told me that I was his. Forever. ______________ I think back on that day so often. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gone outside or if I had managed to make it back to my mom before he grabbed me. But I was a dumb kid, and made a big mistake. I don't get to go back. I'm his now. He gets me. He just, gets me.	"There's no one here who can help you!" The nurse screamed at me. I don't know why she said that, I didn't need help. I just stopped in from the rain. Maybe she just didn't want any unwelcome guests, to put it. I rushed out of that hospital and back into the rain, she really scared me. I wandered around the city, the clouds now totally darkening the cityscape. The only lights being the streetlights and the flashes of lightning. I don't know where I was walking to, I didn't really have a plan. I'd just been evicted from my apartment and had no where else to go. My friends had been long gone by now, I was getting too old. I wonder where my wife is now? Heaven? She never told me where she was going forty years ago, but I could use the support now, even if it was half-hearted like she so insisted all those years ago. There's no one here who can help you! I ducked into a bar to get some shelter from the storm and was promptly thrown out. This whole city must be going mad. Who treats people this way? Even a stranger wouldn't be met with such revulsion. I walked back down the street, finding no comfort. I stood underneath a doorway of a closed Chinese buffet. I looked at the passing people. There was a young girl with her parents running inside a building. Wait a few moments... they weren't thrown out. There were a couple of a homeless guys in the alley across the street fighting over something, no one even glancing their way. I slid down the door and landed on the cement. I didn't know what to do. Why to even fight it any more. I'm an eighty-two year old man! This isn't where I should be! Why, dammit! I hung my head in my hands and cried then. I heaved a bit and when I looked back at the street there were people crowding around. I heard the congregation speak all at once: There's no one here who can help you!
Basically, write a story that surprises the reader -- but the first line should have given it away, if the reader knew what to look for. Of course now we're all looking for that detail, so it's going to be twice as hard to pull it off -- are you up for it? (or if the prompt gives you some other idea for what to write, go with that!)	[WP] If I had paid attention to the first sentence properly, the ending wouldn't have surprised me.	He gets me. He just, gets me. When I met Michael, I knew that there was just something different about him. He wasn't like most guys I had been around. ____________ I grew up in a small town in Eastern Missouri. We never had very much, but my sister and I never really seemed to notice. Dad worked construction and was gone for long periods of time, and mom worked at a little restaurant that we got to go see her at every day. She said the manager didn't mind because it was nice having younger people around. Mom worked the day shift and, except for lunch time, there were typically only old people there. I think having my sister and I at a booth made the place feel a little more alive. There were days though, that my sister couldn't go. Amanda was three years older than I was, and because of that she got to go spend time at her friends' houses whenever someone invited her to. Mom had said that it was because she knew that Amanda wouldn't get in trouble or act like a little kid, and that I would get to someday. I didn't really mind going to the restaurant without her at first. Mom always gave me paper to draw on and sometimes I'd bring a doll or two. The manager would always bring me a dessert from the case if I wanted to. He'd sit with me while I ate it and ask what sort of things I thought he should put on the menu for tomorrow's specials. I'd guess about things that I thought grown ups would like, but I think more than anything he was humoring me. Mom would check on me occasionally, but mostly she just kept to her section and let me mind my own business. I met Michael at the restaurant. The day we met, he was there with his parents. It was a Sunday. The church crowd was filing in for the lunch time rush. I don't know how long he had been there before I noticed that he kept staring at me, but when I caught him doing it, he smiled and looked embarrassed. He had a really nice smile. He didn't talk to me the first time I saw him at the restaurant, but I sure started to notice him there a lot more after that first day. One day, he eventually worked up the courage to talk to me. He had excused himself from his parents' table to go to the bathroom, but he took a detour by me. I had been drawing a picture of some girls from a show I had seen that morning, and he told me how good of an artist I was. He said that he liked to draw a lot too, though he mostly drew animals. He asked me how come I got to come to a restaurant by myself since I wasn't old enough to be out on my own. I think a part of him was jealous. I didn't have to sneak away from my parents or pretend to go to the bathroom to do my own thing. I told him how my mom worked there, and how on the days that my sister was out with friends I got to spend the day keeping myself entertained. He thought that was cool. He was the first boy to ever make me feel special. We didn't talk long that first day because he was supposed to be going to the bathroom, but the more I started to see him there, the more I started to learn about him. The manager would sometimes ask me about him. I always got the feeling that he didn't like Michael. He had teased me so many times before about how kissing boys would give you cavities, I think it was hard for him to see me getting attention from someone. He was always telling mom that my sister and I were going to grow up before she knew it, part of me felt like he grew so attached to us that he was worried about the same thing. One day Michael came to the restaurant by himself. It was strange to see him without his parents, but he told me that they had given him money to go eat on the strict orders that he walk to the restaurant, have his meal, and then walk straight home. That was the first day I ever kissed a boy. I asked him if he wanted to sit with me, but he said that he thought the manager would make him move tables if he did. We laughed about how old people always thought that young people were always just trying to get away with stuff, but regardless he sat by himself two booths away from where I had been sitting. He must have made five trips to the bathroom before his meal had even come. Each time he would give me a note with questions on it, and then take my response on his way back to his seat. "What do you like to do for fun?" "Don't you ever get bored sitting here all day?" "Do you like me?" "Do you know how pretty you are?" I have to admit, I really loved the way he made me feel. Eventually, he worked up the courage and asked me if I would meet him out in the front of the restaurant. He said he wanted to give me something. I had an idea what he wanted. I watched enough shows back then to know that when a boy and a girl like each other, they flirt for so long, and then they kiss. I just - hadn't ever liked a boy enough to think about it actually happening. But with Michael, he stood out. He finished his meal, paid his ticket with the 20 dollar bill his mother had given him, and left the restaurant. I saw him walk through the front door and off down the sidewalk, but I knew that he would be waiting just around the corner. My mom was busy with her tables so I waited for her manager to run to the back for a second, and I was off. I slunk out of my booth and made my way towards the front door. I remember feeling my heartbeat in my ears. This was something I had never done before. I knew I'd get grounded if mom found out that I had gone outside, but I figured she was busy enough and I was good enough that she'd never have to find out. Besides, what's a short grounding compared to your first kiss? He was there waiting for me just around the corner. The parking lot was as full as usual for a lunch time rush, but it felt like he and I were the only people in the whole world. He smiled when he saw that I had made it. I smiled back. We laughed, and he told me how excited he was that I had been willing to meet him outside. I told him how quickly I needed to go back inside. I knew my mom would give me a few minutes once she saw that I was gone, figuring I was in the bathroom - but I did really need to keep things short. I was nervous but it was that sort of electric nervousness that makes you want to run towards the thing you're sort of scared of. I started to explain to him how I had never really spent much time talking to boys, and that's when he kissed me. The world stopped. My mind was filled with a rush of thoughts and feelings, most of all how I couldn't believe that I was being kissed. Me! I was nearly positive that Amanda hadn't been kissed yet. Sure, she got to go out with friends but had she been kissed? No. _________________ When I woke up, I was confused. I could tell I was in the back of a van, but I wasn't sure whose van it was or how I got there. As my eyes started to un-blur I realized that Michael was driving. I hadn't ever really thought about him being old enough to drive. I knew he was grown up, but since he had always come in with his parents I figured he just didn't have a car or something. I tried to ask him what was going on, and where we were going, but my throat hurt too bad to talk. I was scared. Not scared like I had been earlier, where I thought something fun was about to happen. I was scared the way you get when something's going on that you can't stop. I wanted to know what was happening and I couldn't even get the words to come out of my mouth. Michael must have heard me wheezing and straining to talk to him. He turned back to look at me and then faced the road again. He told me how he was so excited to take me home. He said that his parents hadn't wanted him to come get me from the restaurant, but he had made them see how he was right. He told me that his parents would never keep him away from me again. I tried to get up. I wanted to go sit up in the front seat with him so he could tell me what he meant. I wanted to get off of my side because my arm was falling asleep but - but I couldn't because my hands and feet were all tied up. He kept talking while I squirmed. To this day, I don't remember much of what he said on that trip. I know he told me that I'd never see my mother or sister again and that it didn't have to be a bad thing. He told me he'd take care of me and keep me safe from anyone that ever tried to hurt me. He told me that I was his. Forever. ______________ I think back on that day so often. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gone outside or if I had managed to make it back to my mom before he grabbed me. But I was a dumb kid, and made a big mistake. I don't get to go back. I'm his now. He gets me. He just, gets me.	It was the first time I saw my Tiger running down the driveway. He was sprinting as though he was finally the prey. It was most likely due to the fact that I finally understood his life. He had captured many birdies, but hardly ever grasped an eagle. That was more than enough for him to become victorious. Many may describe him by his walk, as they never see him run, but his hunt is what brought him to be running. And I would much rather see him running frightened than walking stealthily. For I am the wife of Tiger Woods.
	[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man	My work phone rings and shakes across my table. I answer it. "Hello." "Hey man. I'd like to order a pizza." Simple code. He wants someone gone. "Okay. What would you like?" "Pepperoni Pizza, stuffed crust, extra cheese." Ex-girlfriend, make it hurt, make it last. I like his style. Simple yet effective. "Where to." "482 Walby, red house" "Alright, that comes to about $8000" Simple kill so I'll give the man a deal. "Since when the fuck did a pizza get so high? The government man, doin all their crazy shit. Whatever man just make sure it gets here fast." He hung up. Hes got a nice cover. A stoner. Im sure he'll happy to here when the jobs finished.	Sam took another hit from his three-foot tall bong, aptly named Kong, and noticed himself falling a little bit deeper into the couch. After blowing out the smoke, he heaved a satisfying sigh. It was a long day at work and he needed to shake off the stress. Cannabis seemed to do the trick! Suddenly hearing a faint growling, Sam sprang up in a paranoid panic, but was relieved to find the noise was coming from his stomach. After chuckling to himself, he realized the noise meant he was hungry. He debated whether or not he should get off the couch, and decided he was paralyzed where he sat for the time being. 'Think, Sam, think,' he thought to himself, 'How can I get food into my stomach without moving the lower half of my body?' Looking around him, he saw that his phone was football fields away on the kitchen counter. 'Shit. That won't work,' he groaned. Checking the side table next to him, he spotted his old land-line phone and a phone book, both collecting dust behind a months-old newspaper and a filled fishbowl sans the Betta he forgot to buy. Reaching over, he grabbed the phone book and opened it up. After forgetting how a phone book worked, he finally remembered, but then forgot what he was doing with the phone book in the first place. Hi stomach growled again. 'Oh yeah, I'm hungry.' The first pizza joint that popped into his head was Papa Johns. After what seemed like an eternity and lots of squinting, he found what he was looking for. Blowing the dust off his cordless land-line, he dialed the phone number. "Papa John. What can I do for ya?" a gruff Boston accent asked "Yes, hello. I would like a pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni." Sam covered his mouth and snickered like a little schoolgirl. 'What a hilarious joke,' he thought. Little did Sam know that he called Papa John Pest Removal, and making food was not one of his services. A 'pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni' was his secret code for carrying out a hit. "You got it, boss. Where can I meetcha?" Sam was disappointed he didn't get a reaction from his joke. "Uh, I'm at 37 Willow St." "Be there in 15." Sam heard a click. 'He didn't even tell me how much my order was,' he thought, 'Oh well.' Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door, awaking Sam from the weed nap he immediately took following the call. Managing to remember he ordered pizza, he slid off the couch and grabbed his wallet from the coffee table. He opened the door to see a short yet incredibly stocky man; he had a wool hat covering a bald head, a cigarette in his ear, and no pizza. "You gonna let me in or what, kid?" Papa John snapped. "Uhh, dude where's my pizza?" Sam replied. Papa John stared at him in silence for several seconds, then rolled his eyes. "GODAMMIT," he yelled, and slammed the door in Sam's face. Papa John stormed down the driveway. 'I gotta change my fuckin' secret code,' he thought, 'That's the fifth goddamn stoner this month!' Meanwhile, Sam stood inside his doorway staring blankly and trying to register what had happened. Suddenly, his stomach growled. "Oh yeah, I'm hungry."

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