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[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man
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The phone rang exactly three times, before the receiver clicked, and a voice (from someone who clearly gargled gravel) came over the line.
“How did you get this number.”
It was weird they would choose such a confrontational guy to answer the phone, but, well, whatever. Maybe he was a special hire?
“Vito’s, right? My friend recommended you. He said you do delivery?”
The voice on the other end chuckled. “Yeah. Yeah, we do delivery. Your friend, huh?”
“Yeah, he said you guys were really good, and *quick*, too.”
“We *pride ourselves* on our reputation. Never heard a complaint after. Whaddya want?”
“Yeah, he said to ask about the special?”
“Oh, the special, huh? We got us a *conny-sewer* over here. Ok, the special. How you want it?”
“All the toppings, please.”
“*All the toppings?!* You mean... Even the thing with the *peppers*?”
“Yeah yeah, of course I want the peppers!”
“Well, ok, whatever you say, pal. We aim to please.”
“And can I get it cut into eight pieces, please?”
The voice on the other end made a small disgusted noise. “Cut into eight pieces? You want it cut up?”
“Yeah, of course I want it cut up!”
The voice on the other end paused.
“Listen, man, we can do disposal, you know. We *box it up* for you-“
“-Well, I’d *hope* so. I mean, it’s your *job* to-“
“-you ain’t gotta get it cut up or anything.”
“What the hell do you mean I ‘don’t have to get it cut up’?! *How the hell else am I gonna fit it on a plate?!*”
There was a noise on the other end of someone being ill. “You, you’re a real *sicko*, you know that?”
What? These clowns don’t even know how to deliver a goddamn pizza, and now they’re judging *me?!*
“You’ve got some nerve! You want me to order one for you?! Show you *how it’s done?* I don’t care, I know seven, *eight * other places that’ll do it *exactly how I like it* and I guarantee you they’ll be there in half an hour, or *less*!”
“*Whoa, whoa,* okay buddy, okay.” The voice on the other side sounded oddly *shaken*, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, seeing as how I was offering to pay and everything. Maybe it would look bad for them? “Let’s not get too crazy, ok? I didn’t say I wouldn’t do it, alright? Jesus!”
“So, how much?”
“Twenty. Half now.”
“What, like a deposit? You take Discover, right?”
*“Are you kiddin’ me?!”*
“Listen, I’ll have cash on me when you come to deliver. I’ll pay you then.”
“Wait- holy shit, you want this for *you?!*”
“Well, *duh*. Who did you think it was-“
**CLICK!**
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Sam took another hit from his three-foot tall bong, aptly named Kong, and noticed himself falling a little bit deeper into the couch. After blowing out the smoke, he heaved a satisfying sigh. It was a long day at work and he needed to shake off the stress.
Cannabis seemed to do the trick!
Suddenly hearing a faint growling, Sam sprang up in a paranoid panic, but was relieved to find the noise was coming from his stomach. After chuckling to himself, he realized the noise meant he was hungry. He debated whether or not he should get off the couch, and decided he was paralyzed where he sat for the time being.
'Think, Sam, think,' he thought to himself, 'How can I get food into my stomach without moving the lower half of my body?'
Looking around him, he saw that his phone was football fields away on the kitchen counter.
'Shit. That won't work,' he groaned.
Checking the side table next to him, he spotted his old land-line phone and a phone book, both collecting dust behind a months-old newspaper and a filled fishbowl sans the Betta he forgot to buy. Reaching over, he grabbed the phone book and opened it up.
After forgetting how a phone book worked, he finally remembered, but then forgot what he was doing with the phone book in the first place. Hi stomach growled again.
'Oh yeah, I'm hungry.'
The first pizza joint that popped into his head was Papa Johns. After what seemed like an eternity and lots of squinting, he found what he was looking for. Blowing the dust off his cordless land-line, he dialed the phone number.
"Papa John. What can I do for ya?" a gruff Boston accent asked
"Yes, hello. I would like a pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni."
Sam covered his mouth and snickered like a little schoolgirl. 'What a hilarious joke,' he thought. Little did Sam know that he called Papa John Pest Removal, and making food was not one of his services. A 'pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni' was his secret code for carrying out a hit.
"You got it, boss. Where can I meetcha?"
Sam was disappointed he didn't get a reaction from his joke. "Uh, I'm at 37 Willow St."
"Be there in 15."
Sam heard a click. 'He didn't even tell me how much my order was,' he thought, 'Oh well.'
Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door, awaking Sam from the weed nap he immediately took following the call. Managing to remember he ordered pizza, he slid off the couch and grabbed his wallet from the coffee table.
He opened the door to see a short yet incredibly stocky man; he had a wool hat covering a bald head, a cigarette in his ear, and no pizza.
"You gonna let me in or what, kid?" Papa John snapped.
"Uhh, dude where's my pizza?" Sam replied.
Papa John stared at him in silence for several seconds, then rolled his eyes.
"GODAMMIT," he yelled, and slammed the door in Sam's face.
Papa John stormed down the driveway. 'I gotta change my fuckin' secret code,' he thought, 'That's the fifth goddamn stoner this month!'
Meanwhile, Sam stood inside his doorway staring blankly and trying to register what had happened. Suddenly, his stomach growled.
"Oh yeah, I'm hungry."
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[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man
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"Hi there, welcome to Domino's Pizza. How can I be of assistance?"
"Hi, I'm looking at the specials online, do you still have the two-for-one medium with the garlic bread and two sodas?"
"Yes sir, we do, they last until next weekend. Are you looking into the two-for-one deal?"
"Yes, I think I'll go with that one. I'm going to get pepperoni and all dressed, and two Cokes."
"Perfect. Credit or cash?"
"Cash please."
"What are the addresses?"
"I'm sorry?"
"The two addresses."
"It's one address."
"Oh, okay. Sorry about that. What's the address?"
"21 Pine Street, fourth unit on the second floor."
"Any special instructions?"
"Yeah, I guess. Don't make it sloppy, and keep the cheese on the pizza."
"One last thing."
"Yes?"
"I'm going to need a down payment, brown bag, paper, unmarked bills."
"...I'm going to need to speak to your manager."
"The boss ain't here today."
"Well, this is frankly silly. I don't think I've ever called this location and received a response like this. Get me my pizza for free."
"Pizza?"
"Yes. My damn pizza."
"Kid, you dialed the wrong number. You mixed up the 4 and 8."
"Well, who am I calling then?"
"Domino."
"The pizza joint."
"No. Domino. Just call me that."
"And what do you do Domino."
"Nevermind. I'll get you your god damned pizza."
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Sam took another hit from his three-foot tall bong, aptly named Kong, and noticed himself falling a little bit deeper into the couch. After blowing out the smoke, he heaved a satisfying sigh. It was a long day at work and he needed to shake off the stress.
Cannabis seemed to do the trick!
Suddenly hearing a faint growling, Sam sprang up in a paranoid panic, but was relieved to find the noise was coming from his stomach. After chuckling to himself, he realized the noise meant he was hungry. He debated whether or not he should get off the couch, and decided he was paralyzed where he sat for the time being.
'Think, Sam, think,' he thought to himself, 'How can I get food into my stomach without moving the lower half of my body?'
Looking around him, he saw that his phone was football fields away on the kitchen counter.
'Shit. That won't work,' he groaned.
Checking the side table next to him, he spotted his old land-line phone and a phone book, both collecting dust behind a months-old newspaper and a filled fishbowl sans the Betta he forgot to buy. Reaching over, he grabbed the phone book and opened it up.
After forgetting how a phone book worked, he finally remembered, but then forgot what he was doing with the phone book in the first place. Hi stomach growled again.
'Oh yeah, I'm hungry.'
The first pizza joint that popped into his head was Papa Johns. After what seemed like an eternity and lots of squinting, he found what he was looking for. Blowing the dust off his cordless land-line, he dialed the phone number.
"Papa John. What can I do for ya?" a gruff Boston accent asked
"Yes, hello. I would like a pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni."
Sam covered his mouth and snickered like a little schoolgirl. 'What a hilarious joke,' he thought. Little did Sam know that he called Papa John Pest Removal, and making food was not one of his services. A 'pepperoni pizza, hold the pepperoni' was his secret code for carrying out a hit.
"You got it, boss. Where can I meetcha?"
Sam was disappointed he didn't get a reaction from his joke. "Uh, I'm at 37 Willow St."
"Be there in 15."
Sam heard a click. 'He didn't even tell me how much my order was,' he thought, 'Oh well.'
Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the door, awaking Sam from the weed nap he immediately took following the call. Managing to remember he ordered pizza, he slid off the couch and grabbed his wallet from the coffee table.
He opened the door to see a short yet incredibly stocky man; he had a wool hat covering a bald head, a cigarette in his ear, and no pizza.
"You gonna let me in or what, kid?" Papa John snapped.
"Uhh, dude where's my pizza?" Sam replied.
Papa John stared at him in silence for several seconds, then rolled his eyes.
"GODAMMIT," he yelled, and slammed the door in Sam's face.
Papa John stormed down the driveway. 'I gotta change my fuckin' secret code,' he thought, 'That's the fifth goddamn stoner this month!'
Meanwhile, Sam stood inside his doorway staring blankly and trying to register what had happened. Suddenly, his stomach growled.
"Oh yeah, I'm hungry."
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[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man
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"Hello, Pizza Place - how may I take your order?"
I was sitting alone in my armchair surrounded by empty noodle cartons yet somehow I was still hungry. "Yeah, I'd uh like a pepperoni pizza with anchovies."
"What size, sir?" The voice on the other end seemed a little bit apprehensive, which I thought was a bit weird, but my stomach was making angry noises. "Yeah a 12 inch please."
The voice on the other end suddenly changed, and the nasally female voice was replaced with a softly-spoken male baritone. "You've selected from our rather 'premium' menu, shall I say?"
"Uh sure" I said, not really knowing what he was getting on about.
"And this 'Pepperoni', does he have a name?" asked the voice.
"Huh?"
"No name, no problem. I will need a photo however."
A photo? What was this guy going on about? "I... I can't give you a photo..." I said slowly. The man on the other end said nothing, but I heard him sighing deeply in contemplation.
"Very well" he finally said, "Give me the address, and I will perform my service indiscriminantly. I expect to be compensated for the extra collateral, however."
"Compensation? Buddy, you only get a tip if you process my order fast - clear?" I needed to put my foot down with this guy, he was getting way too greedy to demand a tip up front.
"Trust me sir, my service will be silent and expedient." In the background I heard what could only be the sound of a pizza cutter being clicked into place.
"Good" I said, and then gave him my address.
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"Hey, Pizza Hut, I'd like a large pizza with extra olives, extra sausage, extra anchovies, and hold the pepperoni. Oh yeah, and I'd like the crust to be stuffed. I'll have you send it over to my friends house, the address is 6599 Meadow Lane Rd. Thanks man." You hear strange muffled sounds from the other end of the line. "Hey, man, I can't hear you, but that'll be like what? $10? Whatever, see you there."
It's only a 5 minute drive to your friends house, you'll get there with plenty of time left to be there before the deliver guy. As you roll up the house, you see the front door wide open. Strange. As you walk inside you see a broken vase and a pair of legs laid out around the corner.
You turn the corner to see your friend lying in a pool of his own blood, a pizza cutter stuck in his neck. Next to his cooling body is a nondescript brown box. You slowly open it up to find a large pizza with extra olives, sausage and anchovies. They even remembered to hold the pepperoni.
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[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man
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“Who is this?”
I took a drag of my cigarette and blew out the smoke. “Yeah. Hi. I want to order a large pepperoni and a large veggie. Do you guys still do hot wings?”
“I think you have the wrong number.”
“Really? Is this 55-PIZZA?”
The woman on the other line groaned. “Yes. It is, but I don’t deliver pizza.”
I stubbed out my cigarette and took a swig of scotch. “Oh. Okay. Sorry.”
“No problem.”
“So, I can just come in an pick-it up?”
“No.”
“Do I have to eat in?”
“No.”
My frustration level rose. “So I can do take-out?”
“Listen, buddy. We don’t serve pizza. Period,” said the woman. It sounded like she was getting angry.
“Then why the fuck are you a pizza place?”
“We’re not,” she screamed.
This little shit was really getting my goat. “Listen, you little tit-sucker. I don’t know if you think you’re funny or something, but I’m going to come down there and rip your head off then shit down your throat. I’m only going to do this after I force you to make my pizza,” I screamed.
“Dave?”
“What?”
“Is this Dave Johnson? The Cockatiel flies at night but only by sunlight.”
Holy shit. This person knew my code name and phrase. “Only when the sun is out during the full summer moon.”
“This is Malory Smith,” said the woman. “We met at the waste collectors conference in Trenton last year. “
I smacked my forehead. Idiot. “Hi, Malory. Sorry about all that. I just want some pizza.”
“Yeah. My phone number is a weird coincidence. I should really get a new burner.”
“That’d be good. It would suck if some teenager got ahold of you and accidently order trash removal service instead of pizza.”
Malory laughed. “Boy would my face be red.”
“Why didn’t you just hang up?”
She laughed again. “I wanted to see how long it would take you to realize who you’d called.”
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"Hey, Pizza Hut, I'd like a large pizza with extra olives, extra sausage, extra anchovies, and hold the pepperoni. Oh yeah, and I'd like the crust to be stuffed. I'll have you send it over to my friends house, the address is 6599 Meadow Lane Rd. Thanks man." You hear strange muffled sounds from the other end of the line. "Hey, man, I can't hear you, but that'll be like what? $10? Whatever, see you there."
It's only a 5 minute drive to your friends house, you'll get there with plenty of time left to be there before the deliver guy. As you roll up the house, you see the front door wide open. Strange. As you walk inside you see a broken vase and a pair of legs laid out around the corner.
You turn the corner to see your friend lying in a pool of his own blood, a pizza cutter stuck in his neck. Next to his cooling body is a nondescript brown box. You slowly open it up to find a large pizza with extra olives, sausage and anchovies. They even remembered to hold the pepperoni.
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[WP] You call to order pizza, but unknowingly call a hit man
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"Hello?"
"Hi, this is Joe. How may I help you?"
"Hey... um... one sec. I think I'll have the number 3. As long as it's still half off with a side order."
"Yeah, it is. Is that the deal we agreed upon last time? Should be cool as long as the side is equivalent price. If you know what I mean."
"Uh.. agreed upon? Last time.. I haven't ordered here in a minute, man. I guess? I mean if that's the deal, then I'll take it. Just give me whatever meets the deal."
"Got it. You want any additional jobs?"
"Jobs?"
"Yeah, side ones... small ones, preferably... something quick and easy..."
"I guess, maybe a few breadsticks."
"Breadsticks? Like the skinny fuckers?."
"What the fuck, man? Can we just fucking finish this order and cut the bull shit already?"
"I think I catch your drift, man. It's gonna be 20 this time around."
"Cool. I'll come pick up in a few."
"No need, I can deliver."
"Free delivery? Fuck, man. Nice!"
"Of course I deliver... that's what you're paying for, right? Take out for three, with two sides. I just need the description of the orders."
"Just plain, nothing special."
"Got it. Where they gonna be at?"
"You mean where am I gonna be at?"
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Where the fuck do I need to go?"
"Dude, just fucking bring me the pizzas. I live at Maple Street, right by the general store."
"Oh... shit, man. You called the wrong dude. I don't do pizza, but I can make a nigga look like pizza."
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"Hey, Pizza Hut, I'd like a large pizza with extra olives, extra sausage, extra anchovies, and hold the pepperoni. Oh yeah, and I'd like the crust to be stuffed. I'll have you send it over to my friends house, the address is 6599 Meadow Lane Rd. Thanks man." You hear strange muffled sounds from the other end of the line. "Hey, man, I can't hear you, but that'll be like what? $10? Whatever, see you there."
It's only a 5 minute drive to your friends house, you'll get there with plenty of time left to be there before the deliver guy. As you roll up the house, you see the front door wide open. Strange. As you walk inside you see a broken vase and a pair of legs laid out around the corner.
You turn the corner to see your friend lying in a pool of his own blood, a pizza cutter stuck in his neck. Next to his cooling body is a nondescript brown box. You slowly open it up to find a large pizza with extra olives, sausage and anchovies. They even remembered to hold the pepperoni.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Excerpt from a textbook:
Casterly Rock was founded along the coast, on the banks of the Castamere river. It was surrounded on three sides by fertile plains for almost forty leagues, and ten leagues into the sea. For centuries, she didn't bother looking outward. All the beauty of the world could be found here, where pyramids rose from the waves, where that renowned bronze giant loomed over the Castamere, where the secrets of iron and steel and physics were unlocked. Casterly Rock was a center for culture and science, people flocked to the idea that life could be better and mean more than jusr survival. They were adding their work to the human condition. Technology made farms more prosperous, lumber mills more productive, the great manufactory of Lord Tywin produced thousands of iron works a year, vastly outpacing the blacksmiths of villages hence. One day strange men were seen far from the city. They were dark in complexion, wearing silk linens around their heads. The Riverlords of Songhai. They were the first civilization Casterly Rock had ever encountered, not just another village but cities, hundreds of them crawling towards us. We had always considered it a possibility, but this had confirmed it. A scouting force was raised and sent out, they brought back reports of Songhai cities building around us. Suddenly, Casterly Rock's borders were definite, not boundless. During this worrying time, we were introduced to the Arabians, and the Iroquois. Then we were told that was it, these were the competitors we would face from now until the end of time. We couldn't know better, but fortunately there were those among us who had the foresight to begin researching weaponry. Shortly afterwards, as the wonders of the world amassed in Casterly Rock, the Riverlords desired our culture and sought to assimilate us through force. Besieged on three sides by enemy catapults and archers, our engineers unveiled their first work: the trebuchet. This monstrosity was quickly replicated and put into marshall use, clearing enough space for long bowman and our own armies to retake the field. They Riverlords tried to surround us again, but could never defeat our long bowman on the open field again. No longer a center of just culture and science, we were now a nexus of human knowledge; science, war, and culture to temper our potential violence. Our exponential growth continued as geniuses of one kind or another were born in the Rock. Every inch of space was used at maximum efficiency. Modern technology was developed and out to use. The Riverlords turned their eyes to easier targets, a strategy that led to the first Great War.
The Great War was the only war ever fought between all three of our global neighbors. Atrocities were committed, but the Rock stayed isolated. We played our part, however. When the Riverlords were beaten past our borders and Suleiman asked us permission to cross, we turned a blind eye to their incursion. The Riverlords introduced us to war, they were inferior and no longer exist as a civilization. The Arabians became our new neighbors, occupying the old Songhai cities. The world was once again at peace, though the horror of genocide was fresh on our lips, little did we expect the Iroquois capable of repeating it. Not a century later, our Arabian friends to the South were under attack. No one in the world was as progressive as Casterly Rock, our technology was cutting edge amongst all under the heavens; our culture had taken root deeply across all the world, it was only a matter of time before we could convince the world to live in peace. This is why we refused to help the Arabians. We were tired of war, we would save them. We were too late. More than 90% of the people of the world were Iroquois, and now the Rock was left alone to stand against a threat far worse than the Riverlords ever posed. We came to know firsthand the monstrosities the Iroquois had brought to bear against their fellow men, and we were disgusted. And jealous. The one thing that Casterly Rock lacked in resources was uranium. Giant Death robots marched against the Rock, when our first two Great Generals were born. One founded the citadel not a league from our city, the other held the field surrounding it. From this position of strength, and with recent advances in rocketry, we were able to halt the Iroquois march in it's tracks. The power of 5 billion people was stopped by the ingenuity and righteousness of a mere 60 million. We halted their advance, now we had to strike out for the first time in history with none to support us. Our coffers were rich, and special strike teams supported by a newly christened navy carried out the attacks. We deprived our enemy of his uranium sources by razing their cities, and left guerrillas behind to harass their recolonization efforts. Our defensive units gained invaluable experience, masters of war they became. Our cause tugged at be hearts of the world. Why does this one city resist us, who conquered the world? Why do we fight them so? But the war raged on. Amongst all this strife, the peace in Casterly Rock persisted. Our economy flourished, and it became apparent as the Iroquois grew more communist that our freedom was superior in every way.
We existed this way for a century before the Iroquois people could not stand any more loss. After millions of sons died, compared to a few thousand of ours, the people revolted. They wanted to live like us, or not at all. All of the sudden, our people were the same. We had won.
TL;DR: I only owned one city that focused on culture and science, and obviously had to take up arms against the other three civs. At the end of the game only the Iroquois were left, so I coordinated the ransack of their cities next to uranium so they couldn't make nukes until after I won via culture. I always razed their cities, I never occupied them either directly or via puppet. I did have a safety net, a settler hidden on a little dot of an island chain with two oil tiles and fish right there, protected by a nuclear submarine with cruise missiles. Unfortunately, the world didn't become mine after winning culturally, but I still haven't lost Casterly Rock. Most of the tiles now are either manufactories or fields, I'm beginning to convert them to forests and lumbermills to control population in such a way that the Rock will remain sustainable in terms of population. For only occupying about 4% of the world, we were the happiest, richest, most cultured country in the world.
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The Cold War lasted from 1900-2050. It was a period of great tension between 2 very strong sides. Polynesia and England were the 2 strongest nations, and bitter enemies. On one side, there was Polynesia, with its allies of America, Rome, Germany and Russia. On the other hand, there was England, with its allies of Arabia and Byzantium. England and Polynesia often fought for control of the United Nations. There were a few showings of international solidarity, such as when Greece invaded Rome. Every nation declared war on the warmongering Greeks, and by the end of the war, they had but one city remaining. By the end of the Cold War, Polynesia and England had nuclear submarines patrolling each other's coastlines. England is considered to have won the Cold War by creating a huge tourism industry. Citizens of all nations flocked to see wonders such as the Eiffel Tower in the English capital of London.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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The Cold War lasted from 1900-2050. It was a period of great tension between 2 very strong sides. Polynesia and England were the 2 strongest nations, and bitter enemies. On one side, there was Polynesia, with its allies of America, Rome, Germany and Russia. On the other hand, there was England, with its allies of Arabia and Byzantium. England and Polynesia often fought for control of the United Nations. There were a few showings of international solidarity, such as when Greece invaded Rome. Every nation declared war on the warmongering Greeks, and by the end of the war, they had but one city remaining. By the end of the Cold War, Polynesia and England had nuclear submarines patrolling each other's coastlines. England is considered to have won the Cold War by creating a huge tourism industry. Citizens of all nations flocked to see wonders such as the Eiffel Tower in the English capital of London.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Excerpt from a textbook:
Casterly Rock was founded along the coast, on the banks of the Castamere river. It was surrounded on three sides by fertile plains for almost forty leagues, and ten leagues into the sea. For centuries, she didn't bother looking outward. All the beauty of the world could be found here, where pyramids rose from the waves, where that renowned bronze giant loomed over the Castamere, where the secrets of iron and steel and physics were unlocked. Casterly Rock was a center for culture and science, people flocked to the idea that life could be better and mean more than jusr survival. They were adding their work to the human condition. Technology made farms more prosperous, lumber mills more productive, the great manufactory of Lord Tywin produced thousands of iron works a year, vastly outpacing the blacksmiths of villages hence. One day strange men were seen far from the city. They were dark in complexion, wearing silk linens around their heads. The Riverlords of Songhai. They were the first civilization Casterly Rock had ever encountered, not just another village but cities, hundreds of them crawling towards us. We had always considered it a possibility, but this had confirmed it. A scouting force was raised and sent out, they brought back reports of Songhai cities building around us. Suddenly, Casterly Rock's borders were definite, not boundless. During this worrying time, we were introduced to the Arabians, and the Iroquois. Then we were told that was it, these were the competitors we would face from now until the end of time. We couldn't know better, but fortunately there were those among us who had the foresight to begin researching weaponry. Shortly afterwards, as the wonders of the world amassed in Casterly Rock, the Riverlords desired our culture and sought to assimilate us through force. Besieged on three sides by enemy catapults and archers, our engineers unveiled their first work: the trebuchet. This monstrosity was quickly replicated and put into marshall use, clearing enough space for long bowman and our own armies to retake the field. They Riverlords tried to surround us again, but could never defeat our long bowman on the open field again. No longer a center of just culture and science, we were now a nexus of human knowledge; science, war, and culture to temper our potential violence. Our exponential growth continued as geniuses of one kind or another were born in the Rock. Every inch of space was used at maximum efficiency. Modern technology was developed and out to use. The Riverlords turned their eyes to easier targets, a strategy that led to the first Great War.
The Great War was the only war ever fought between all three of our global neighbors. Atrocities were committed, but the Rock stayed isolated. We played our part, however. When the Riverlords were beaten past our borders and Suleiman asked us permission to cross, we turned a blind eye to their incursion. The Riverlords introduced us to war, they were inferior and no longer exist as a civilization. The Arabians became our new neighbors, occupying the old Songhai cities. The world was once again at peace, though the horror of genocide was fresh on our lips, little did we expect the Iroquois capable of repeating it. Not a century later, our Arabian friends to the South were under attack. No one in the world was as progressive as Casterly Rock, our technology was cutting edge amongst all under the heavens; our culture had taken root deeply across all the world, it was only a matter of time before we could convince the world to live in peace. This is why we refused to help the Arabians. We were tired of war, we would save them. We were too late. More than 90% of the people of the world were Iroquois, and now the Rock was left alone to stand against a threat far worse than the Riverlords ever posed. We came to know firsthand the monstrosities the Iroquois had brought to bear against their fellow men, and we were disgusted. And jealous. The one thing that Casterly Rock lacked in resources was uranium. Giant Death robots marched against the Rock, when our first two Great Generals were born. One founded the citadel not a league from our city, the other held the field surrounding it. From this position of strength, and with recent advances in rocketry, we were able to halt the Iroquois march in it's tracks. The power of 5 billion people was stopped by the ingenuity and righteousness of a mere 60 million. We halted their advance, now we had to strike out for the first time in history with none to support us. Our coffers were rich, and special strike teams supported by a newly christened navy carried out the attacks. We deprived our enemy of his uranium sources by razing their cities, and left guerrillas behind to harass their recolonization efforts. Our defensive units gained invaluable experience, masters of war they became. Our cause tugged at be hearts of the world. Why does this one city resist us, who conquered the world? Why do we fight them so? But the war raged on. Amongst all this strife, the peace in Casterly Rock persisted. Our economy flourished, and it became apparent as the Iroquois grew more communist that our freedom was superior in every way.
We existed this way for a century before the Iroquois people could not stand any more loss. After millions of sons died, compared to a few thousand of ours, the people revolted. They wanted to live like us, or not at all. All of the sudden, our people were the same. We had won.
TL;DR: I only owned one city that focused on culture and science, and obviously had to take up arms against the other three civs. At the end of the game only the Iroquois were left, so I coordinated the ransack of their cities next to uranium so they couldn't make nukes until after I won via culture. I always razed their cities, I never occupied them either directly or via puppet. I did have a safety net, a settler hidden on a little dot of an island chain with two oil tiles and fish right there, protected by a nuclear submarine with cruise missiles. Unfortunately, the world didn't become mine after winning culturally, but I still haven't lost Casterly Rock. Most of the tiles now are either manufactories or fields, I'm beginning to convert them to forests and lumbermills to control population in such a way that the Rock will remain sustainable in terms of population. For only occupying about 4% of the world, we were the happiest, richest, most cultured country in the world.
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**The settling of City 4**
>When the fourth city was settled, it was settled so to stop the expansion of Mongolia and Persia. While the land bore some resources, it had one major flaw. This flaw was that it was surrounded on all sides for miles by nothing but desert land.
>Thus it was decided by the Wonderland council of Monument Hoarding that a newly envisioned wonder, dubbed "Petra", would be established in this land. Petra, upon its completion, would allow the city to take advantage of its normally uninhabitable surroundings and create a booming, productive, city.
>For many hundreds of years, City 4, later dubbed "Teppelin", worked diligently on the construction of this Wonder. After a long period of work, the time neared that Petra was nearly completed. However, not all was well in the world. At this time, with but a single stone left to be placed, it would be that Napoleon of the French revealed his true nature.
>In a truly cruel fashion, Napoleon completed work on his own version of Petra. Outraged, the Wonderland Council immediately decided that they could not allow work to continue, since their idea had been stolen. In one swift moment, it was then decided that an ancient war measure would be activated.
>The Jaeger Project, as old as the Wonderland Civilization itself, was designed to combat any threat of any kind. Using ancient "Pathfinder" scouts to undergo rigorous training, known as a promotion, they were from then on able to wield a bow the likes of which had never been seen before, or again for many years. Training ever since by hunting the barbarian menace, the twin Jaegers have been considered a cultural staple in Wonderland society; never were they truly needed for defense, but always were they appreciated.
>As retribution for France's blatant disregard of Wonderland's lack of respect for their right to build wonders, the Jaegers were activated. Now transcendent of their compound bows, they were truly a force to be feared. The Jaegers marched to the French border with Horsemen at their sides, treading the lands at an unparalleled pace.
>It was not more than sixty years before all fourteen of France's cities fell.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
|
**The settling of City 4**
>When the fourth city was settled, it was settled so to stop the expansion of Mongolia and Persia. While the land bore some resources, it had one major flaw. This flaw was that it was surrounded on all sides for miles by nothing but desert land.
>Thus it was decided by the Wonderland council of Monument Hoarding that a newly envisioned wonder, dubbed "Petra", would be established in this land. Petra, upon its completion, would allow the city to take advantage of its normally uninhabitable surroundings and create a booming, productive, city.
>For many hundreds of years, City 4, later dubbed "Teppelin", worked diligently on the construction of this Wonder. After a long period of work, the time neared that Petra was nearly completed. However, not all was well in the world. At this time, with but a single stone left to be placed, it would be that Napoleon of the French revealed his true nature.
>In a truly cruel fashion, Napoleon completed work on his own version of Petra. Outraged, the Wonderland Council immediately decided that they could not allow work to continue, since their idea had been stolen. In one swift moment, it was then decided that an ancient war measure would be activated.
>The Jaeger Project, as old as the Wonderland Civilization itself, was designed to combat any threat of any kind. Using ancient "Pathfinder" scouts to undergo rigorous training, known as a promotion, they were from then on able to wield a bow the likes of which had never been seen before, or again for many years. Training ever since by hunting the barbarian menace, the twin Jaegers have been considered a cultural staple in Wonderland society; never were they truly needed for defense, but always were they appreciated.
>As retribution for France's blatant disregard of Wonderland's lack of respect for their right to build wonders, the Jaegers were activated. Now transcendent of their compound bows, they were truly a force to be feared. The Jaegers marched to the French border with Horsemen at their sides, treading the lands at an unparalleled pace.
>It was not more than sixty years before all fourteen of France's cities fell.
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|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
Excerpt from a textbook:
Casterly Rock was founded along the coast, on the banks of the Castamere river. It was surrounded on three sides by fertile plains for almost forty leagues, and ten leagues into the sea. For centuries, she didn't bother looking outward. All the beauty of the world could be found here, where pyramids rose from the waves, where that renowned bronze giant loomed over the Castamere, where the secrets of iron and steel and physics were unlocked. Casterly Rock was a center for culture and science, people flocked to the idea that life could be better and mean more than jusr survival. They were adding their work to the human condition. Technology made farms more prosperous, lumber mills more productive, the great manufactory of Lord Tywin produced thousands of iron works a year, vastly outpacing the blacksmiths of villages hence. One day strange men were seen far from the city. They were dark in complexion, wearing silk linens around their heads. The Riverlords of Songhai. They were the first civilization Casterly Rock had ever encountered, not just another village but cities, hundreds of them crawling towards us. We had always considered it a possibility, but this had confirmed it. A scouting force was raised and sent out, they brought back reports of Songhai cities building around us. Suddenly, Casterly Rock's borders were definite, not boundless. During this worrying time, we were introduced to the Arabians, and the Iroquois. Then we were told that was it, these were the competitors we would face from now until the end of time. We couldn't know better, but fortunately there were those among us who had the foresight to begin researching weaponry. Shortly afterwards, as the wonders of the world amassed in Casterly Rock, the Riverlords desired our culture and sought to assimilate us through force. Besieged on three sides by enemy catapults and archers, our engineers unveiled their first work: the trebuchet. This monstrosity was quickly replicated and put into marshall use, clearing enough space for long bowman and our own armies to retake the field. They Riverlords tried to surround us again, but could never defeat our long bowman on the open field again. No longer a center of just culture and science, we were now a nexus of human knowledge; science, war, and culture to temper our potential violence. Our exponential growth continued as geniuses of one kind or another were born in the Rock. Every inch of space was used at maximum efficiency. Modern technology was developed and out to use. The Riverlords turned their eyes to easier targets, a strategy that led to the first Great War.
The Great War was the only war ever fought between all three of our global neighbors. Atrocities were committed, but the Rock stayed isolated. We played our part, however. When the Riverlords were beaten past our borders and Suleiman asked us permission to cross, we turned a blind eye to their incursion. The Riverlords introduced us to war, they were inferior and no longer exist as a civilization. The Arabians became our new neighbors, occupying the old Songhai cities. The world was once again at peace, though the horror of genocide was fresh on our lips, little did we expect the Iroquois capable of repeating it. Not a century later, our Arabian friends to the South were under attack. No one in the world was as progressive as Casterly Rock, our technology was cutting edge amongst all under the heavens; our culture had taken root deeply across all the world, it was only a matter of time before we could convince the world to live in peace. This is why we refused to help the Arabians. We were tired of war, we would save them. We were too late. More than 90% of the people of the world were Iroquois, and now the Rock was left alone to stand against a threat far worse than the Riverlords ever posed. We came to know firsthand the monstrosities the Iroquois had brought to bear against their fellow men, and we were disgusted. And jealous. The one thing that Casterly Rock lacked in resources was uranium. Giant Death robots marched against the Rock, when our first two Great Generals were born. One founded the citadel not a league from our city, the other held the field surrounding it. From this position of strength, and with recent advances in rocketry, we were able to halt the Iroquois march in it's tracks. The power of 5 billion people was stopped by the ingenuity and righteousness of a mere 60 million. We halted their advance, now we had to strike out for the first time in history with none to support us. Our coffers were rich, and special strike teams supported by a newly christened navy carried out the attacks. We deprived our enemy of his uranium sources by razing their cities, and left guerrillas behind to harass their recolonization efforts. Our defensive units gained invaluable experience, masters of war they became. Our cause tugged at be hearts of the world. Why does this one city resist us, who conquered the world? Why do we fight them so? But the war raged on. Amongst all this strife, the peace in Casterly Rock persisted. Our economy flourished, and it became apparent as the Iroquois grew more communist that our freedom was superior in every way.
We existed this way for a century before the Iroquois people could not stand any more loss. After millions of sons died, compared to a few thousand of ours, the people revolted. They wanted to live like us, or not at all. All of the sudden, our people were the same. We had won.
TL;DR: I only owned one city that focused on culture and science, and obviously had to take up arms against the other three civs. At the end of the game only the Iroquois were left, so I coordinated the ransack of their cities next to uranium so they couldn't make nukes until after I won via culture. I always razed their cities, I never occupied them either directly or via puppet. I did have a safety net, a settler hidden on a little dot of an island chain with two oil tiles and fish right there, protected by a nuclear submarine with cruise missiles. Unfortunately, the world didn't become mine after winning culturally, but I still haven't lost Casterly Rock. Most of the tiles now are either manufactories or fields, I'm beginning to convert them to forests and lumbermills to control population in such a way that the Rock will remain sustainable in terms of population. For only occupying about 4% of the world, we were the happiest, richest, most cultured country in the world.
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From the birth of humanity the great Russian President and the emperor of China were great friends. And although this synchronizing of goals served both empires well there were other contenders that wanted to reign supreme over the world. Japan and the iroquois forced our hand for the only thing they wanted was war. But this was a fatal mistake for impassable terrain separated Hiawatha and China. Impassable to the point that first discovery was from the port side of a caravel. Japan tried to invade Russia in winter.
The persians and the greeks were a funny lot. Not inclined to war and wanted nothing better to do than farm sheep or whatever they do in that foreign land.
That leaves us to do our bidding. And nothing says peace better than order.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
|
From the birth of humanity the great Russian President and the emperor of China were great friends. And although this synchronizing of goals served both empires well there were other contenders that wanted to reign supreme over the world. Japan and the iroquois forced our hand for the only thing they wanted was war. But this was a fatal mistake for impassable terrain separated Hiawatha and China. Impassable to the point that first discovery was from the port side of a caravel. Japan tried to invade Russia in winter.
The persians and the greeks were a funny lot. Not inclined to war and wanted nothing better to do than farm sheep or whatever they do in that foreign land.
That leaves us to do our bidding. And nothing says peace better than order.
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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after defeating the neighboring Russians Cossack army, our veteran promoted pikeman unit was told to 'defend' at the mountain pass that once divided our two nations.
pikemen were forgotten about for a very long time while our civilization focused on mercantile endeavors and lost three ships in a row at sea and the omnipotent one could be heard shouting SERIOUSLY!? THREE IN A ROW?
it was not until some time later, when a tank came rolling through the mountain pass, that the omnipotent one realized that epic Pikeman still existed. and in an epic re enactment of 300, the pikemen held their ground against a tank.
TL:DR; Pikemen OP
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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And thus, we can conclude the rise and fall of the Roman Empire. Through slaying of barbarians and introducing stolen greek culture, it would seem that it could hold on its own. But it would rise above aswell, over the ceiling, where no men have ever had a position. It rose to the heavens, building large and epic monuments, it striked down on whoever uninvited laid a feet upon their grounds. Exterminating the barbarian hordes and into America... It lasted through 3000-1000. America was absolutely filled with natives, druidists and shamanists controlled the people here. As the romans would take new ground and annex the cities they raided, after time it would form its own will. The Germans and the Celts who had constantly marched upon Rome now found itself marched upon. On its doors they pleaded and begged, sending gold and horses, but we know what happened. It was a mighty empire for a while until it suffered tremendous unhappiness by the population. The newfound cities would eventually turn to anarchy as they rebelled. Nothing was gained and Caesar had only to raze them to stop the rampage. Doing so would establish new barbaric tribes that when returned to Rome, he couldnt handle. The horde swept around the land, razing whatever city they could come by. And then... Across the sea, large and enormous ships came towards Rome, the flags was of red and white stripes and a countless number of stars. They called themselves the Americans and brought cannons and long guns. Returning to their homeland, and they slaughtered the whole of Rome in their path to salvation. The romans had but shield and sword, no man would survive, not even the Caesar. The Empire was forever dead and never to rise again. But remembered through ruins and the Americans stealing the roman culture.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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**The mythical city of Amsterdam.**
"Ah... the Netherlands, crown of the world! Birthplace of all the world's great religions and corporations. Today's lecture will be about the gemstone in the crown, the mythical city of Amsterdam!"
A little boy with a kippa in the back of the classroom rose his hand. "Sir, sir! Why do we have to learn this AGAIN?"
I gave him an angry look, while I rearranged my turban. "Moses, would you please shut up and take an example from your neighbor, Ahmed? At least he is making notes."
Moses made an embarresed look and stopped his interuption of my class. Finally I could continue. "As I said, Amsterdam is the gem of the Netherlands. As you know, our ex-capital is full of great architecture. Let's see how well you studied. Who can tell me what the oldest building of Amsterdam is?"
Nearly the entire class stood up to answer the question. I was happy our country was no longer a police state, but fortunately the schoolsystem was able to maintain the discipline learned in that time. Plenty of choice... Maybe I should ask the question to one of the students that didn't stand, so he or she will do the homework next time. "Aaraal?"
Aaraal, a girl that 'forgets' her homework way too often, stands up, a small hint of fear in her eyes. "Eh... Em... The great wall, sir?" I shook my head, and made a mental note. "Did you do your homework, Aaraal?" Aaraal looked to the floor. "No sir." "Well Aaraal, that'll be detention. The right answer, of course, is Stonehenge. You may all sit down. Open your history book op page 20394 and make the questions on the first half of the modern age."
The children sat down and started working. I opened my own history book, that was brought out just last year. It is a pity they were revised so often, but as we contact more and more foreign nations, the government wants to be sure all students know the best version of our history... If only I could teach my students the truth, it would be so much easier! But we'd lose prestige, which is negative for trade. Funny how we have so many religions, and still we worship money above all. Fortunately the part on the great architectural wonders of the world are all true. Our cities are the largests in the world. Our two largest cities, Amsterdam and the Hague are each larger than the three smallest empires that we know of. Amsterdam contains dozens of ancient superstructures, while the Hague is the founding place of most of the world's religions and 4 of it's 6 mega-corporations.
One of the children, Jan, stood up. "Sir, page 20400 is about our wars with the Incan and Indian governments. It reads that THEY started it, but I thought..." "SILENCE!" I shouted. "The most recent book is ALWAYS the most up-to-date piece of knowledge on our past, and overrules previous teachings." "Yes... Yes sir." he mumbled while she sat down.
I went back to my own book. Where was I? Ah, yes! Fortunately most information in the book is true, it are only the military stories that are... adapted. Our ancestors DID build many great wonders in Amsterdam, and strange enough, no other empire ever build anything like them. The great continental war of the 4th century is a bit polished though. It was in the age where religion still caused tensions. Now, of course, all our peoples are free to believe what they want, unlike only a century ago, when the temples and monasteries of my own faith were the leading producers of art, science, commerce and materials. Our great leader Huanca Capac saw the rising military strength of our neighbors, the Incas and the Indians and decided to strike first. It's weird to talk about the Incas and the Indians though, as if they don't exist anymore. They still do, of course! They're just Dutch now. But we toppled their dictators, and brought them democracy. The theological oppression by Kublai Khan and the discrimaning caste-system of Hatsheput are just a memory now.
I wonder by the way how Jan could be at page 20400 so fast. He probably studied ahead in the weekend. "Jan, did you study ahead in the weekend?" "Yes sir, my parents want to take me to the Church of the nativity next weekend, so they had me study ahead." "Good, tell your parents they have my approval! You might want to take some pictures of the combined headquarters of the 4 great companies there, for your assignment on Dutch corporatism next month" "Yes sir"
I was always amazed at the christians. They say their religious leader was executed by the Romans, but we only just discovered the Romans a decade ago. Well, I guess it's fine... My own religion's holy mountian wasn't discovered that long ago either.
I continue to read my book. After our leader destroyed the other leaders on our continent we entered the modern age, and shortly later he send out caravels to discover the world. We found out we were not alone. There were 5 more continents, populated with very different people, but not like us. We found out some of them were very militaristic, and almost without exeption they lived in the stone ages. The strangest thing was that none of them seemed to have any religion or great architecture, and HUGE parts of land were still a wilderness. This seemed all the more strange as our own continent was covered with civilization from top to bottom. With the help of our great companies, we were even able to build large cities above the tundras, on top of the snow. The age of colonization had started. We took every land that was left and the Netherlands in now a global empire, larger, stronger and more advanced than all other empires combined. It is hard to tell what the future will bring, but as our religions spread, tensions between the semi-barbarians of this world rise, and wars next to our borders seem inevitable.
EDIT: Obviously, this was the most successful game I ever played. I turned up the difficulty after this one ;) .
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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1049Ad. Denmark & England wage war against their peaceful neighbour Venice.
1058Ad. Denmark is gone. England has lost its capital and been reduced to just Hastings.
Long love the venetian empire
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Since the early times, in the earliest years, even back to 1200BC, the great nation of America had pledged to keep their Capital only to one, alone in the continent of north America they were left unmolested for some thousands of years. Meanwhile in the mainland of Africa, Asia and Europe, two great nations grew. One grew into the might that was the great Egyptian empire, growing out of central Africa and expanding into the middle east. The other nation of Spain, the warmongering menace to the world, aggressively grew out of eastern Asia. They met the Chinese in India, and after relations soured brutally destroyed them in a quick war.
The rapid expansion of the Egyptians caused them to meet at the east of the middle east at 1500 AD. Tensions were high between the two, but an unknown force arrived at the Indian sea, just before war seemed to break out. A trireme arrived on the shores of the conquered India. The great nation of America had arrived at the shores. After a quick meeting between leaders the men on the ship were allowed onto shore. Musket men surrounded the foreign people but it was clear they were of peaceful nature.
The men walked up, clearly unarmed. They waved their arms in the air screaming "Oh please do not harm us! Our ships have not touched land for some 1000 years! We only wish sanctuary and a place to establish our religion, JackToTheTopism!"
Although the Spanish ruler gave multiple warnings to America to not have their missionaries of such religion take home at their cities America continued anyways. It was at this moment however America entered a revolution. With the assassination of the previous leader, Jack, Ethan took over and revolutionized the nation. It had severely fallen behind everything as their single city had been unable to keep up with the expansive might of the other nations. The great leader, Ethan expanded all across America, to the northern tip of south America. The nation was in turmoil at the revolution and Ethan turned the nation into a militaristic empire as he built up the armed forces.
The tensions eventually broke out into all out war between the Egyptians and Spanish in the middle east. Endless waves of riflemen and cannons ran at each other as both nations expended all of their efforts to the annihilation of the only other relevant nation in the world. The nation of Egypt sent an emissary with a proposal. He wanted America to open up a second front on the war. To attack from the north by crossing across a thin area of water that could be sailed across. Hopelessly out classed by the powerful Spanish military the dictator Ethan amassed untold numbers of riflemen to run against the machines guns and infantry of the Spanish. They were moved to their northern border and war was declared. With no sense for the loss of life unit after unit was sent towards the open capital of the Spanish. It was to no avail. Not a single dent was seen on the gleaning capital of the Spanish, as they dedicated naught but two regiments of infantry and three of artillery to fend of the millions of American soldiers.
The efforts of the Americans may as well have never happened, as the Spanish managed to push towards the Egyptians. The Egyptian ruler, greatly angered due to his orders being intercepted by some unknown spy system he claimed to be called "host lag."
Many years passed as the world raged on in war. It seemed just as the Americans could make his soldiers on par with the enemies the Spanish would get just ahead as well. Angered at his losses he called for a truce that the Spanish gladly accepted. This peace did not last long however, as exactly 20 years later the northern front reopened and the mass murder of millions of American soldiers continued at the gates of the Spanish capital.
With the final united nations meeting to decide the world leader coming up it seemed assured that the Spanish would win, if he did not conquer all of the world first. The Egyptians only having the southern half of africa remaining, every single city state being on the side of the Spanish, and America being now in the tens of millions of casualties, all hope seemed lost. This was confirmed as the first bomb fell. The nukes hit the Egyptians hard, annihilating their cities to rubble.
A final deal was opened between the Egyptians and Americans however, unbeknownst to the Spanish. All the money in the Egyptian's coffers would be directly transferred to the Americans, and the americans would purpose peace one last time. The Spanish accepted the Americans peace proposal one last time. The Spanish fought hard to extinguish the Egyptians for good, and sent his own nuclear submarines to the Americans, and only one turn remained until the leader would be decided.
In what was to be known as "The Great City-State Donation Program" the americans donated a grand total of 93,000 gold to every city state, making every single one of them his ally. The americans, naught but one turn after the Treaty of Madrid, the Americans immediately declared war on the Spanish, preventing any trade between the City states and the great nation. The turn was over. The votes counted. And with the unconquered Egypt standing strong, every single city state in the game, and America's votes together, Ethan, herald of JackToTheTopism, considered by his people a genocidal maniac, with nukes a year away from being aimed down his throat,was named Supreme Ruler of the World
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Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Like most Empires, the German Empire started small. In the year 4000 BC the city of Berlin was founded in a small valley, nestled beneath the great Bernese mountains to the north. Berlin quickly grew and expanded, and the great Otto von Bismarck deemed it necessary to grow and expand his ever growing civilization. Soon, the cities of Munich and Hamburg were settled in the great plains to the south and southeast.
Germans rejoiced as their Empire continued to grow and all was calm.
But then Germany met Korea.
Bismarck was weary of the Korean's, with their strange, nearly opposite Pagan beliefs. However, trade between the two Empires flourished for several decades. Korea worringly began to expand ever closer to Germany's borders, despite many requests not to from Bismarck. Bismarck, in his wisdom, predicted future conflict, began to build his military to protect his Empire from Korean Imperialism. When Korea founded its 10th city, the line in the sand had been crossed, and Bismarck declared war. The Korean's may have had a large Empire, but it was not strong in might, soon 1,2, then 3 cities fell to the German onslaught, either being razed to the ground or acquired by the German Empire. Within years, Seoul fell to the Germans, and Korea moved its Capital south to the city of Haeju, and brokered for peace with Germany, surrendering its remaining cities.
Shortly after this though, two new civilizations, the Romans and the Dutch reared their heads. The Dutch offered friendship, but Rome simply wanted Germany out of its way in order to expand. After a small amount of time, both the Dutch and the Germans allied against the Roman menace and within a small expanse of time Rome was captured by the Germans and the Dutch had several new former Roman cities. By this time, the Germans had also expanded westward, towards the sea that divided the world in half.
Things stayed quiet and peaceful between the Dutch and Germans for hundreds of years. This quiet was to be broken though when Germany met many civilizations in a small period of time. The Russians, Arabians, Persians, and Iriquois revealed themselves, with the Iriquois being extremely hostile towards the Germans. They began to denounce Germany, refused trade agreements, and denied open borders. Soon, Germany had had enough of this and sneakily launched a force across the sea towards the new continent that housed the Iriquois. The German Army caught the Iriquois by suprise at the Battle of Alamanca Gap. Soon, Alamanca was taken by the Germans and a new foothold was gained in the new continent. Expended by this effort though, Germany agreed to peace with the Iriquois, only to break the peace within a few decades, swiftly taking the Iriquois capital. City after city fell to the Germans, and the Iriquois later went into hiding, their one remaining city hidden in the far west of the world.
Things did not stay peaceful after this though, Germany still had a large Army on its home continent that grew restless, and Germany began to get greedy, wanting the iron and gold rich territories of the Dutch for itself. After a brief period of training yet more troops, Germany launched a suprise attack on the Dutch, swiftly defeating the larger but technologically inferior Dutch army and claiming its Capital. Soon, Germany controlled the whole Eastern side of the world for itself.
The year is now 1760 AD. Germany seeks to dominate the Western world now, setting its sights on the weak Persian Empire while at the same time hoping to find and finish off its old nemesis, the Iriquois....
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Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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To those children, born there aboard the ship, the world began in the third Auxiliary Bay and ended at the tip of the sensor array, and their heaven, purgatory, and hell lay all bunched up in between.
Neither I nor did my predecessors ever saw fit to tell them any different. It is good, we all knew, to focus on the concrete world, and so we taught them physics, chemistry, and biology, not the names of dead queens or poets or diplomats.
By then, a distance so vast that it was beyond comprehension - even for our children’s bright minds - separated the ship from the world, and a distance just as great separated our memories from our parents’ problems.
There were two children, Aoi and Yua, running down the hall, their voices echoing. I heard them as I rested from the day’s shift in the laboratory.
“Boom!” said Aoi. “Boom! I’m Egypt! I’m warring you!”
Yua made a noise like a jet engine as she ran away. “I’m Japan! I’m flying away. You can’t get me!” Aoi squealed as she ran down the hall after Yua, and the sounds of the two faded away.
Yua’s grandmother loved to tell the children stories. We discouraged her from doing so. It is good, we all said, to focus on the concrete world. Yua’s grandmother sneered, but she talked with the children anyway and they were still happy, and so we never saw fit to tell them any different.
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Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The Japanese Empire came from humble roots, sprouting from Scandinavia, and eventually expanded to encompass all of Europe. Soon after, they met another, less powerful empire called "Germany". Japan sensed great potential in them and formed an alliance.
Several centuries passed, and Japan met many others: Siam, Arabia, Iroquois, and China. They were pretty chill. Japan was sitting at the top of the food chain for a while. It was the richest, most powerful, resource-packed empire in the world; but then Japan discovered China was building up an army.
Japan’s leaders didn't pay too much mind to the growing power to the south, as they were busy educating the masses and expanding their culture. Over the next few centuries, many great writers were born: H.G. Wells, Herman Melville, and Voltaire to name a few. The people loved reading their works, especially while listening to the empire's musical prodigy: Duke Ellington. Times were good.
Then the news came. War. Not against Japan, thankfully; but between China and Arabia. It seems that the two couldn't share the African continent peacefully. Japan stayed out of it, being content working on the construction of Machu Picchu and the Pyramids in peaceful solitude. The war dragged on and on, and many empires allied with Arabia, but none with China. Which is understandable, as Wu Zetian was known to give other civilizations’ leaders the shaft quite often.
Having no interest in war, Japan planned an expedition to discover new lands. After many decades, its scouts happened upon the frosty shores of Alaska, and met a new ally: Portugal. The scouts brought back stories of the new lands, along with a horse.
Soon, the people started getting restless. Having grown less content with being the most educated, cultured, and wealthy people in the world, they sought a higher purpose. They sought religion. And so, in the year 1080 AD, Ninjaism was established. The people rejoiced, worshiping their lord and savior, Kakashi, and reading his Holy Romance Scripture. Many prophets were born and spread the word throughout the world, and all were happy.
After a while, Japan received word of the United Nations’ formation, and sent delegates to speak for them. Germany, after being refused a gift of 1600 gold from Japanese’s wealth of 1800, decided to propose an embargo against the nation. Japan vote against the proposal.
Germany’s leader, Bismarck, was quoted saying, "I know that your votes played a part in my proposal not going through. I will remember this."
Germany denounced Japan, whose leaders told him he'd pay for this in time. Japan began construction on the world’s first atomic weapon.
Siam, Arabia, and the Iroquois joined together and denounced Germany. The once beloved empire lost those closest to them. India and Portugal denounced Siam, Germany denounced China, Siam and Maya denounced Arabia. The world was falling apart. Japan’s leadership decided to build a spaceship and leave it all behind. War was breaking out all across the world. They fought each other on horseback with pointed sticks. A Japanese carrier made its way to Germany's borders. In the midst of war, Gandhi requested that Japan trade him some silk for a horse.
Germany soon discovered Japan’s efforts towards constructing the world's first WMD and proposed a nuclear disarmament to the UN. The proposal passed. Probably because the other civilizations were centuries away from developing nuclear weaponry. Japan soon finished its space ship and left Earth behind, seeking to start a new empire in the stars.
What will the future hold for the Japanese Empire? Discover this and more in the soon to be published: “Civilization: 6th Edition.” Available for purchase through any university bookstore for $250*.
*Price liable to increase
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Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
Year 1550 A.D.
To my most esteemed enemy Attila the Hun,
You have finally done it, it is finished. My greatest fortress conquered,
my people enslaved, all the wealth of Japan now lies with you. You were like a force of nature relentless, striking without warning. How you greeted us as friends, allies, with a blade behind your back. I should have known, should have prepared for war. It still boils me to the bone how you treacherously slithered up, taking the advantage slowly. "Accidently" taking major materials, bribing the city states who we once called allies, then in the end the build up of troops on our borders. We trusted you, thought of you as a man of his word. But it seems honor meant nothing to you. We were being led astray to ruin all along...
Is what you would like to think. Do you take us for fools? We knew of your intend, of your treacherous intentions centuires ago.
However it was too late to prepare for war, too far behind to actually win against your armies. Therefore we accecpted our inevitable demise...
You however will accompany us. To your East lies Rome and its legions ready to strike as your warriors siege our remaining cities. To your North lies Napoleon with his fleet eyeing the riches of your coasts. Yes that's right we offered ourselves on a silver platter to them, to be a worthy sacrifice, all this for your destruction.
Now our remaining forces, half-starved, depleted, will drag your finest warriors down with them with the strength of hundreds. We will die happy knowing every death will be repaid in a river of blood. Run along now if you can, we will follow you to the ends of the world. For unlike you, we have nothing more to lose.
A village no more, a country no more, I am the last of my line.
Blood for blood.
|
Historians continue to debate what started the Great War. Babylon had long been a peaceful and forgiving nation, tolerating the settlement of Boston near its borders in as early as 2000 B.C. It would be until the Middle Ages that they would be tempted into conquest.
Around the year 1200 A.D., Harald Bluetooth the Great sent emissaries to Babylon seeking an alliance. Tired of lukewarm negotiations with the other nations thus far, Lord Nebuchadnezzar II jumped at the opportunity to improve international relations and to undertake joint research agreements between the two nations.
The cunning Danish warlord had more than just trade and scientific discovery on his mind, however. He proposed a cunning plot to launch a sneak attack on the unsuspecting backward nation of Indonesia, which lay between Denmark and Babylon. For decades, the two nations marshalled their forces before announcing the attack. Unfortunately, it was an unqualified disaster.
Just as Denmark prepared its attack, so did the Ottoman-American alliance, attacking them from the rear as their troops were in Indonesia. Denmark had fallen, leaving poor Babylon friendless and alone. Although the Indonesians sustained heavy losses, they managed to hold back the invading Babylonians, who eventually accepted a surrender, demanding that the Indonesians pay them tribute of gold and spices.
Babylon chose to renounce its warmongering ways and instead focus on the sciences, for they were on the very cusp of the Industrial Revolution! Babylon became the birthplace of democracy, an ideology that was soon adopted by their close trading partners in Byzantium far across the sea. The rest of the world, however, had no interest in freedom, and were instead swayed by the foolish notion that order was to be valued above all else.
It was not long before Babylon and Byzantium stood as the only bastion of the free world as their neighbours succumbed to evil. Babylon turned its eyes back to Indonesia, seeing their inferior weapons and hoping to rescue them from tyranny, Babylon began to rebuild its army.
The liberation of Indonesia was not to be, for Babylon's long-time allies, the Americans, joined forces with the Dutch and betrayed their former Babylonian allies. The liberation troops quickly rushed to fend off the invaders. while research began on a top secret project.
Everything changed when a great scientist named René Descartes was born in the early 1800s. Descartes changed the face of warfare forever with his invention of the battleship. This happened just in time, for the Indonesians and the Ottomans had also joined the war, cowardly trying to attack Babylon in her time of weakness. Byzantium offered what support they could, but it was not enough.
With the incredible industrial power of Babylon, though, it was not long until a fleet of battleships was ready to take the fight to the enemy. Firing from offshore, they managed to destroy most of the invaders, before following Admiral James Cook around the north coast to get to America's coastal cities. This counter-invasion was temporarily halted by Captain Kamehameha of Polynesia, who, although neutral in the fight, would not let the Babylonian armada through his polar naval outpost.
Admiral James Cook knew that the lives of innocent Babylonian citizens were on the line, so he launched an attack on the outpost and proceeded to conquer the entire northern coast of the continent. Meanwhile, in the south, the Byzantine fleet had arrived to attack Indonesia. In the next hundred years, the Byzantine-Babylonian coalition would manage to defeat the evil Americans, Indonesians, and Ottomans, liberating the poor nations of Prague and Denmark along the way.
Seeing their invasion had failed, the Dutch and the Polynesians soon surrendered as well. With a massive battle-hardened fleet as well as the whole continent under his control, the Babylonian president had a difficult decision on his hands. His science adviser informed him that the recent construction of the Hubble Space Telescope had provided the necessary data to begin the construction of a vessel that could bring colonists to Alpha Centauri.
Death and destruction still hung in the air from the last war and it would take several decades to secure full military control of the planet. The decision was made.
Babylon's legacy would not be that of death and conquest. No, their true legacy lay beyond earth...
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
Since the early times, in the earliest years, even back to 1200BC, the great nation of America had pledged to keep their Capital only to one, alone in the continent of north America they were left unmolested for some thousands of years. Meanwhile in the mainland of Africa, Asia and Europe, two great nations grew. One grew into the might that was the great Egyptian empire, growing out of central Africa and expanding into the middle east. The other nation of Spain, the warmongering menace to the world, aggressively grew out of eastern Asia. They met the Chinese in India, and after relations soured brutally destroyed them in a quick war.
The rapid expansion of the Egyptians caused them to meet at the east of the middle east at 1500 AD. Tensions were high between the two, but an unknown force arrived at the Indian sea, just before war seemed to break out. A trireme arrived on the shores of the conquered India. The great nation of America had arrived at the shores. After a quick meeting between leaders the men on the ship were allowed onto shore. Musket men surrounded the foreign people but it was clear they were of peaceful nature.
The men walked up, clearly unarmed. They waved their arms in the air screaming "Oh please do not harm us! Our ships have not touched land for some 1000 years! We only wish sanctuary and a place to establish our religion, JackToTheTopism!"
Although the Spanish ruler gave multiple warnings to America to not have their missionaries of such religion take home at their cities America continued anyways. It was at this moment however America entered a revolution. With the assassination of the previous leader, Jack, Ethan took over and revolutionized the nation. It had severely fallen behind everything as their single city had been unable to keep up with the expansive might of the other nations. The great leader, Ethan expanded all across America, to the northern tip of south America. The nation was in turmoil at the revolution and Ethan turned the nation into a militaristic empire as he built up the armed forces.
The tensions eventually broke out into all out war between the Egyptians and Spanish in the middle east. Endless waves of riflemen and cannons ran at each other as both nations expended all of their efforts to the annihilation of the only other relevant nation in the world. The nation of Egypt sent an emissary with a proposal. He wanted America to open up a second front on the war. To attack from the north by crossing across a thin area of water that could be sailed across. Hopelessly out classed by the powerful Spanish military the dictator Ethan amassed untold numbers of riflemen to run against the machines guns and infantry of the Spanish. They were moved to their northern border and war was declared. With no sense for the loss of life unit after unit was sent towards the open capital of the Spanish. It was to no avail. Not a single dent was seen on the gleaning capital of the Spanish, as they dedicated naught but two regiments of infantry and three of artillery to fend of the millions of American soldiers.
The efforts of the Americans may as well have never happened, as the Spanish managed to push towards the Egyptians. The Egyptian ruler, greatly angered due to his orders being intercepted by some unknown spy system he claimed to be called "host lag."
Many years passed as the world raged on in war. It seemed just as the Americans could make his soldiers on par with the enemies the Spanish would get just ahead as well. Angered at his losses he called for a truce that the Spanish gladly accepted. This peace did not last long however, as exactly 20 years later the northern front reopened and the mass murder of millions of American soldiers continued at the gates of the Spanish capital.
With the final united nations meeting to decide the world leader coming up it seemed assured that the Spanish would win, if he did not conquer all of the world first. The Egyptians only having the southern half of africa remaining, every single city state being on the side of the Spanish, and America being now in the tens of millions of casualties, all hope seemed lost. This was confirmed as the first bomb fell. The nukes hit the Egyptians hard, annihilating their cities to rubble.
A final deal was opened between the Egyptians and Americans however, unbeknownst to the Spanish. All the money in the Egyptian's coffers would be directly transferred to the Americans, and the americans would purpose peace one last time. The Spanish accepted the Americans peace proposal one last time. The Spanish fought hard to extinguish the Egyptians for good, and sent his own nuclear submarines to the Americans, and only one turn remained until the leader would be decided.
In what was to be known as "The Great City-State Donation Program" the americans donated a grand total of 93,000 gold to every city state, making every single one of them his ally. The americans, naught but one turn after the Treaty of Madrid, the Americans immediately declared war on the Spanish, preventing any trade between the City states and the great nation. The turn was over. The votes counted. And with the unconquered Egypt standing strong, every single city state in the game, and America's votes together, Ethan, herald of JackToTheTopism, considered by his people a genocidal maniac, with nukes a year away from being aimed down his throat,was named Supreme Ruler of the World
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In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Harun al-Rashjid sailed the ocean blue.
He had 3 ships and left from Mecca;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Seven units were embarked;
Those who settled and those who worked
Then the workers went to sleep;
And settlers watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of gems and gold and clams.
1500 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Iroquois! Iroquois!" al-Rashid cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
and then he killed them all
because he was playing for domination victory
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
|
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Harun al-Rashjid sailed the ocean blue.
He had 3 ships and left from Mecca;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Seven units were embarked;
Those who settled and those who worked
Then the workers went to sleep;
And settlers watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of gems and gold and clams.
1500 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Iroquois! Iroquois!" al-Rashid cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
and then he killed them all
because he was playing for domination victory
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
The Japanese Empire came from humble roots, sprouting from Scandinavia, and eventually expanded to encompass all of Europe. Soon after, they met another, less powerful empire called "Germany". Japan sensed great potential in them and formed an alliance.
Several centuries passed, and Japan met many others: Siam, Arabia, Iroquois, and China. They were pretty chill. Japan was sitting at the top of the food chain for a while. It was the richest, most powerful, resource-packed empire in the world; but then Japan discovered China was building up an army.
Japan’s leaders didn't pay too much mind to the growing power to the south, as they were busy educating the masses and expanding their culture. Over the next few centuries, many great writers were born: H.G. Wells, Herman Melville, and Voltaire to name a few. The people loved reading their works, especially while listening to the empire's musical prodigy: Duke Ellington. Times were good.
Then the news came. War. Not against Japan, thankfully; but between China and Arabia. It seems that the two couldn't share the African continent peacefully. Japan stayed out of it, being content working on the construction of Machu Picchu and the Pyramids in peaceful solitude. The war dragged on and on, and many empires allied with Arabia, but none with China. Which is understandable, as Wu Zetian was known to give other civilizations’ leaders the shaft quite often.
Having no interest in war, Japan planned an expedition to discover new lands. After many decades, its scouts happened upon the frosty shores of Alaska, and met a new ally: Portugal. The scouts brought back stories of the new lands, along with a horse.
Soon, the people started getting restless. Having grown less content with being the most educated, cultured, and wealthy people in the world, they sought a higher purpose. They sought religion. And so, in the year 1080 AD, Ninjaism was established. The people rejoiced, worshiping their lord and savior, Kakashi, and reading his Holy Romance Scripture. Many prophets were born and spread the word throughout the world, and all were happy.
After a while, Japan received word of the United Nations’ formation, and sent delegates to speak for them. Germany, after being refused a gift of 1600 gold from Japanese’s wealth of 1800, decided to propose an embargo against the nation. Japan vote against the proposal.
Germany’s leader, Bismarck, was quoted saying, "I know that your votes played a part in my proposal not going through. I will remember this."
Germany denounced Japan, whose leaders told him he'd pay for this in time. Japan began construction on the world’s first atomic weapon.
Siam, Arabia, and the Iroquois joined together and denounced Germany. The once beloved empire lost those closest to them. India and Portugal denounced Siam, Germany denounced China, Siam and Maya denounced Arabia. The world was falling apart. Japan’s leadership decided to build a spaceship and leave it all behind. War was breaking out all across the world. They fought each other on horseback with pointed sticks. A Japanese carrier made its way to Germany's borders. In the midst of war, Gandhi requested that Japan trade him some silk for a horse.
Germany soon discovered Japan’s efforts towards constructing the world's first WMD and proposed a nuclear disarmament to the UN. The proposal passed. Probably because the other civilizations were centuries away from developing nuclear weaponry. Japan soon finished its space ship and left Earth behind, seeking to start a new empire in the stars.
What will the future hold for the Japanese Empire? Discover this and more in the soon to be published: “Civilization: 6th Edition.” Available for purchase through any university bookstore for $250*.
*Price liable to increase
|
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Harun al-Rashjid sailed the ocean blue.
He had 3 ships and left from Mecca;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.
He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.
A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.
Seven units were embarked;
Those who settled and those who worked
Then the workers went to sleep;
And settlers watched the ocean deep.
Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of gems and gold and clams.
1500 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!
"Iroquois! Iroquois!" al-Rashid cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.
and then he killed them all
because he was playing for domination victory
|
|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
|
Settings: Carthage True Start Location, Prince, Huge Earth Map, Standard time
Pg. 1: The City on a Mountain
In the year 4000 BC, the **Nomads** of North Africa united as one, for the most part. They banded together just to survive the arid environment. But one day, the nomads came a cross a land of sprawling plains, endless coast, and mountains as tall as giants. They settled down and sent a party of warriors to properly scout the land. After seeing swathes of unclaimed land, the **Carthaginians**, who were from the city the nomads settled, **Carthage**, wanted to become more powerful. They eventually adopted a primitive **Republic**, where the people could elect their local leaders, so as to create a strong, stable and prosperous empire. With these new lands, the Carthaginians settled the new cities of Utique and Hippo Regius along the North African coastline. With a strong foundation, the Democratic Republic of Carthage we know today was to become a powerful, unstoppable force, like the world has never seen before.
Pg. 256: The Conquest of Gibraltar
After the hardy nation of Carthage learned how to make a kind of ship known now as the **Galleass**, their immortal ruler, Queen* Dido, commissioned a force of these new ships to expand the republic into the Strait of Gibraltar. With the naval force she needed, Queen Dido sent out an official Declaration of War against the kingdom of Portugal, who had control of the strait and a small part of North Africa through their city Braga. The attack on Braga, and the Portugese capitol, Lisbon, was so fast, it is now known as **Dido's Storm**. After the conquest of the two cities, the Carthaginians made peace with Portugal, leaving them with one city, Porto, on eastern Iberia. To this day, they still control Porto, with another colony in Siberia, Coimbra. With two new cities in their clutches, the Republic was faced with new-found troubles, and opportunities
Pg. 322: The Quest for the New World
By 1000 AD, a new era had dawned: one of exploration and colonialism. With Carthaginian scientists learning how to study the sea and stars, a new ship, the **Caravel**, was developed. Dido sent out an order to upgrade the fleet of Quinqueremes into Caravels, to explore new lands. The first Caravel found two new native civilizations, the Iroquois and the Aztecs. Because Carthage was hated for its conquests throughout the Old World, Carthage turned the new world into her new trade partners for official trade goods. From late explorations, the Carthaginian navy came into contact with the Shoshone, Carthage's modern rival, and the Inca. With the discovery of new and unclaimed lands, the Carthaginian government financed their first colonial venture, and would settle the first city of New Carthage, Carthago Novum.
^\* ^^While ^^Queen ^^Dido ^^had ^^absolute ^^power, ^^the ^^people ^^voted ^^on ^^her ^^advisers, ^^one ^^of ^^whom ^^she ^^trusted ^^heavily, ^^and ^^the ^^other ^^four ^^she ^^disregarded ^^completely.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The Japanese Empire came from humble roots, sprouting from Scandinavia, and eventually expanded to encompass all of Europe. Soon after, they met another, less powerful empire called "Germany". Japan sensed great potential in them and formed an alliance.
Several centuries passed, and Japan met many others: Siam, Arabia, Iroquois, and China. They were pretty chill. Japan was sitting at the top of the food chain for a while. It was the richest, most powerful, resource-packed empire in the world; but then Japan discovered China was building up an army.
Japan’s leaders didn't pay too much mind to the growing power to the south, as they were busy educating the masses and expanding their culture. Over the next few centuries, many great writers were born: H.G. Wells, Herman Melville, and Voltaire to name a few. The people loved reading their works, especially while listening to the empire's musical prodigy: Duke Ellington. Times were good.
Then the news came. War. Not against Japan, thankfully; but between China and Arabia. It seems that the two couldn't share the African continent peacefully. Japan stayed out of it, being content working on the construction of Machu Picchu and the Pyramids in peaceful solitude. The war dragged on and on, and many empires allied with Arabia, but none with China. Which is understandable, as Wu Zetian was known to give other civilizations’ leaders the shaft quite often.
Having no interest in war, Japan planned an expedition to discover new lands. After many decades, its scouts happened upon the frosty shores of Alaska, and met a new ally: Portugal. The scouts brought back stories of the new lands, along with a horse.
Soon, the people started getting restless. Having grown less content with being the most educated, cultured, and wealthy people in the world, they sought a higher purpose. They sought religion. And so, in the year 1080 AD, Ninjaism was established. The people rejoiced, worshiping their lord and savior, Kakashi, and reading his Holy Romance Scripture. Many prophets were born and spread the word throughout the world, and all were happy.
After a while, Japan received word of the United Nations’ formation, and sent delegates to speak for them. Germany, after being refused a gift of 1600 gold from Japanese’s wealth of 1800, decided to propose an embargo against the nation. Japan vote against the proposal.
Germany’s leader, Bismarck, was quoted saying, "I know that your votes played a part in my proposal not going through. I will remember this."
Germany denounced Japan, whose leaders told him he'd pay for this in time. Japan began construction on the world’s first atomic weapon.
Siam, Arabia, and the Iroquois joined together and denounced Germany. The once beloved empire lost those closest to them. India and Portugal denounced Siam, Germany denounced China, Siam and Maya denounced Arabia. The world was falling apart. Japan’s leadership decided to build a spaceship and leave it all behind. War was breaking out all across the world. They fought each other on horseback with pointed sticks. A Japanese carrier made its way to Germany's borders. In the midst of war, Gandhi requested that Japan trade him some silk for a horse.
Germany soon discovered Japan’s efforts towards constructing the world's first WMD and proposed a nuclear disarmament to the UN. The proposal passed. Probably because the other civilizations were centuries away from developing nuclear weaponry. Japan soon finished its space ship and left Earth behind, seeking to start a new empire in the stars.
What will the future hold for the Japanese Empire? Discover this and more in the soon to be published: “Civilization: 6th Edition.” Available for purchase through any university bookstore for $250*.
*Price liable to increase
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Settings: Carthage True Start Location, Prince, Huge Earth Map, Standard time
Pg. 1: The City on a Mountain
In the year 4000 BC, the **Nomads** of North Africa united as one, for the most part. They banded together just to survive the arid environment. But one day, the nomads came a cross a land of sprawling plains, endless coast, and mountains as tall as giants. They settled down and sent a party of warriors to properly scout the land. After seeing swathes of unclaimed land, the **Carthaginians**, who were from the city the nomads settled, **Carthage**, wanted to become more powerful. They eventually adopted a primitive **Republic**, where the people could elect their local leaders, so as to create a strong, stable and prosperous empire. With these new lands, the Carthaginians settled the new cities of Utique and Hippo Regius along the North African coastline. With a strong foundation, the Democratic Republic of Carthage we know today was to become a powerful, unstoppable force, like the world has never seen before.
Pg. 256: The Conquest of Gibraltar
After the hardy nation of Carthage learned how to make a kind of ship known now as the **Galleass**, their immortal ruler, Queen* Dido, commissioned a force of these new ships to expand the republic into the Strait of Gibraltar. With the naval force she needed, Queen Dido sent out an official Declaration of War against the kingdom of Portugal, who had control of the strait and a small part of North Africa through their city Braga. The attack on Braga, and the Portugese capitol, Lisbon, was so fast, it is now known as **Dido's Storm**. After the conquest of the two cities, the Carthaginians made peace with Portugal, leaving them with one city, Porto, on eastern Iberia. To this day, they still control Porto, with another colony in Siberia, Coimbra. With two new cities in their clutches, the Republic was faced with new-found troubles, and opportunities
Pg. 322: The Quest for the New World
By 1000 AD, a new era had dawned: one of exploration and colonialism. With Carthaginian scientists learning how to study the sea and stars, a new ship, the **Caravel**, was developed. Dido sent out an order to upgrade the fleet of Quinqueremes into Caravels, to explore new lands. The first Caravel found two new native civilizations, the Iroquois and the Aztecs. Because Carthage was hated for its conquests throughout the Old World, Carthage turned the new world into her new trade partners for official trade goods. From late explorations, the Carthaginian navy came into contact with the Shoshone, Carthage's modern rival, and the Inca. With the discovery of new and unclaimed lands, the Carthaginian government financed their first colonial venture, and would settle the first city of New Carthage, Carthago Novum.
^\* ^^While ^^Queen ^^Dido ^^had ^^absolute ^^power, ^^the ^^people ^^voted ^^on ^^her ^^advisers, ^^one ^^of ^^whom ^^she ^^trusted ^^heavily, ^^and ^^the ^^other ^^four ^^she ^^disregarded ^^completely.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Hundreds and hundreds of peaceful years had gone by before this moment. In the beginning, there was Washington, DC, settled at the edge of an ocean as wide and open as the arms of the locals that welcomed them.
These locals were known as the Dutch. Their leader, William, accepted Washington into his expansive lush, mountainous land. Through the years, both empires founded new cities in their respective boundaries and flourished together. But other than the random group of barbarians, the two leaders had wondered if they were alone in the world.
That is, until the first ocean-crossing ship was built in the city of Boston. It was a momentous occasion. America was in the midst of a golden age, with new scientific discoveries made every few years. But the discovery of another civilization had been in the minds of the American and Dutch empires for years. Finding life across the ocean would change their world.
And it did.
American scouts first found the Germans. Their people shared stories of great peace and terrible wars inflicted between their empire and the once war-hungry Aztecs.
The scouts continued westward through a massive, empty desert until an enormous wall stopped them in their tracks. Foot soldiers on the wall would not let Washington's scouts pass through the territory of Rome, so the group followed the wall south into a mountainous region owned by France.
New civilizations brought great joy to both Washington and William. Soon, trade routes were established and each civilization thrived. New cultures and religions were adopted. Technology was ever-increasing. President Washington particularly loved the arts and culture. America was booming with great writers, musicians and artists.
Peace came at an end when Rome declared war with Germany. The mighty empires fought for years until Rome's advanced armies brought Germany to its knees. The Roman Empire's boundaries had become massive.
Soon after, America was surprised to see scouts of Greece and England roaming around its borders. With enough land to spare, America welcomed English settlers to the continent, building a city near New York. William and the Dutch were not so eager to have new neighbors, but America and England shared their cultures and arts for the world. Archaeology had also just been discovered, and both leaders were eager to dig for treasures beyond their wildest imaginations.
President Washington loved meeting new civilizations. He took pride in learning more and more about different cultures and histories. Washington even went out of his way to help the world leaders throughout the years, except for going to war. Peace was of the upmost importance, and every civilization took notice.
Years and several border disputed between the English and Dutch later, the longtime "ally" of America came to Washington looking for help. William proposed joining him in going to war with Elizabeth, enraging the American leader. Washington sought peace, and war so close to his borders would raise concern with the American citizens.
William was outraged. How could his brother side with an civilization he just met? William even went as far as telling the world about Washington's treachery.
This was not over.
Washington needed to warn Elizabeth about a possible attack. But any preparation would not be enough for what came next...
The time came for William to make a move. America watch as his army gathered around the lone English city. What Washington hadn't noticed was an armada of ships coming from the west. Roman ships.
William was the first to fire. A cannon-shot disposed one of Elizabeth's archers. Then came another cannon-shot, almost wiping out a nearby mounted unit. England pushed a few soldiers forward to halt William's advancement.
It was then that the Roman fleet started to fire at England. Three ships bombed the defenseless city, and fires started all throughout. Smoke billowed high enough to be seen by citizens of New York.
It was a swift and deadly strike. The city was sieged and razed by Rome in a matter of days.
William had allied with the largest nation in the world and brought war to American soil. Washington was furious to find the city was nothing but ashes. All of the art he had traded with Elizabeth was gone.
Washington's other allies, Greece and what was left of Germany, had already been in talks about warring with Rome to take back what was rightfully theirs. Their requests for America to join them in the fight had always been denied, until now.
Washington gathered his troops and halted production of his cities in order to churn out more tools of war. He was about to create an army large enough to take out William and Caesar by himself. He put all efforts in culture and science into production. The longer he waited, the closer his enemies got to England's capital.
Finally, it was time.
Washington's first fleet sailed for Rome, while his second fleet sailed to England's aid. His army made its way to the Dutch capital, with enough firepower to take three cities.
The president acknowledged William's questioning of troops gathering around his borders with a "nothing to worry about" attitude, giving just enough time for his first fleet to position itself outside of a Roman city.
The rest of the world leaders knew by sunrise, America was about to start the largest war in history. And Washington couldn't help but feel excited. A man of peace became a monster of revenge.
And on that fateful morning, the world stood still, as to watch what the American leader would do next.
Every American soldier stood on edge, waiting on the first command.
But President Washington did nothing.
He stood there, an old man, fists clenched in anger at what the world had done to him. Had changed him into. But he was determined with a sense of rage that no man should feel.
Yet President Washington still did nothing.
George realized he couldn't move. His body rushed with a sense of hope and desperation. But no matter what he tried, nothing worked. The world still watched, waiting for something.
And darkness came.
Just hours prior, an archaeologist made an enormous, world-changing discovery. A lost artifact from an unknown world had been found.
And while he carefully held it in his hands, he pondered "Would President Washington want this dig site converted into a historical site, or would he want this artifact moved to one of his esteemed museums?"
Edit: For anyone fortunate enough to not discover this "glitch" - In the Gods and Kings DLC, some games can freeze after performing an archaelogical dig. Reloading the game will not help whatsoever...
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Excerpt from a textbook:
Casterly Rock was founded along the coast, on the banks of the Castamere river. It was surrounded on three sides by fertile plains for almost forty leagues, and ten leagues into the sea. For centuries, she didn't bother looking outward. All the beauty of the world could be found here, where pyramids rose from the waves, where that renowned bronze giant loomed over the Castamere, where the secrets of iron and steel and physics were unlocked. Casterly Rock was a center for culture and science, people flocked to the idea that life could be better and mean more than jusr survival. They were adding their work to the human condition. Technology made farms more prosperous, lumber mills more productive, the great manufactory of Lord Tywin produced thousands of iron works a year, vastly outpacing the blacksmiths of villages hence. One day strange men were seen far from the city. They were dark in complexion, wearing silk linens around their heads. The Riverlords of Songhai. They were the first civilization Casterly Rock had ever encountered, not just another village but cities, hundreds of them crawling towards us. We had always considered it a possibility, but this had confirmed it. A scouting force was raised and sent out, they brought back reports of Songhai cities building around us. Suddenly, Casterly Rock's borders were definite, not boundless. During this worrying time, we were introduced to the Arabians, and the Iroquois. Then we were told that was it, these were the competitors we would face from now until the end of time. We couldn't know better, but fortunately there were those among us who had the foresight to begin researching weaponry. Shortly afterwards, as the wonders of the world amassed in Casterly Rock, the Riverlords desired our culture and sought to assimilate us through force. Besieged on three sides by enemy catapults and archers, our engineers unveiled their first work: the trebuchet. This monstrosity was quickly replicated and put into marshall use, clearing enough space for long bowman and our own armies to retake the field. They Riverlords tried to surround us again, but could never defeat our long bowman on the open field again. No longer a center of just culture and science, we were now a nexus of human knowledge; science, war, and culture to temper our potential violence. Our exponential growth continued as geniuses of one kind or another were born in the Rock. Every inch of space was used at maximum efficiency. Modern technology was developed and out to use. The Riverlords turned their eyes to easier targets, a strategy that led to the first Great War.
The Great War was the only war ever fought between all three of our global neighbors. Atrocities were committed, but the Rock stayed isolated. We played our part, however. When the Riverlords were beaten past our borders and Suleiman asked us permission to cross, we turned a blind eye to their incursion. The Riverlords introduced us to war, they were inferior and no longer exist as a civilization. The Arabians became our new neighbors, occupying the old Songhai cities. The world was once again at peace, though the horror of genocide was fresh on our lips, little did we expect the Iroquois capable of repeating it. Not a century later, our Arabian friends to the South were under attack. No one in the world was as progressive as Casterly Rock, our technology was cutting edge amongst all under the heavens; our culture had taken root deeply across all the world, it was only a matter of time before we could convince the world to live in peace. This is why we refused to help the Arabians. We were tired of war, we would save them. We were too late. More than 90% of the people of the world were Iroquois, and now the Rock was left alone to stand against a threat far worse than the Riverlords ever posed. We came to know firsthand the monstrosities the Iroquois had brought to bear against their fellow men, and we were disgusted. And jealous. The one thing that Casterly Rock lacked in resources was uranium. Giant Death robots marched against the Rock, when our first two Great Generals were born. One founded the citadel not a league from our city, the other held the field surrounding it. From this position of strength, and with recent advances in rocketry, we were able to halt the Iroquois march in it's tracks. The power of 5 billion people was stopped by the ingenuity and righteousness of a mere 60 million. We halted their advance, now we had to strike out for the first time in history with none to support us. Our coffers were rich, and special strike teams supported by a newly christened navy carried out the attacks. We deprived our enemy of his uranium sources by razing their cities, and left guerrillas behind to harass their recolonization efforts. Our defensive units gained invaluable experience, masters of war they became. Our cause tugged at be hearts of the world. Why does this one city resist us, who conquered the world? Why do we fight them so? But the war raged on. Amongst all this strife, the peace in Casterly Rock persisted. Our economy flourished, and it became apparent as the Iroquois grew more communist that our freedom was superior in every way.
We existed this way for a century before the Iroquois people could not stand any more loss. After millions of sons died, compared to a few thousand of ours, the people revolted. They wanted to live like us, or not at all. All of the sudden, our people were the same. We had won.
TL;DR: I only owned one city that focused on culture and science, and obviously had to take up arms against the other three civs. At the end of the game only the Iroquois were left, so I coordinated the ransack of their cities next to uranium so they couldn't make nukes until after I won via culture. I always razed their cities, I never occupied them either directly or via puppet. I did have a safety net, a settler hidden on a little dot of an island chain with two oil tiles and fish right there, protected by a nuclear submarine with cruise missiles. Unfortunately, the world didn't become mine after winning culturally, but I still haven't lost Casterly Rock. Most of the tiles now are either manufactories or fields, I'm beginning to convert them to forests and lumbermills to control population in such a way that the Rock will remain sustainable in terms of population. For only occupying about 4% of the world, we were the happiest, richest, most cultured country in the world.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The Japanese Empire came from humble roots, sprouting from Scandinavia, and eventually expanded to encompass all of Europe. Soon after, they met another, less powerful empire called "Germany". Japan sensed great potential in them and formed an alliance.
Several centuries passed, and Japan met many others: Siam, Arabia, Iroquois, and China. They were pretty chill. Japan was sitting at the top of the food chain for a while. It was the richest, most powerful, resource-packed empire in the world; but then Japan discovered China was building up an army.
Japan’s leaders didn't pay too much mind to the growing power to the south, as they were busy educating the masses and expanding their culture. Over the next few centuries, many great writers were born: H.G. Wells, Herman Melville, and Voltaire to name a few. The people loved reading their works, especially while listening to the empire's musical prodigy: Duke Ellington. Times were good.
Then the news came. War. Not against Japan, thankfully; but between China and Arabia. It seems that the two couldn't share the African continent peacefully. Japan stayed out of it, being content working on the construction of Machu Picchu and the Pyramids in peaceful solitude. The war dragged on and on, and many empires allied with Arabia, but none with China. Which is understandable, as Wu Zetian was known to give other civilizations’ leaders the shaft quite often.
Having no interest in war, Japan planned an expedition to discover new lands. After many decades, its scouts happened upon the frosty shores of Alaska, and met a new ally: Portugal. The scouts brought back stories of the new lands, along with a horse.
Soon, the people started getting restless. Having grown less content with being the most educated, cultured, and wealthy people in the world, they sought a higher purpose. They sought religion. And so, in the year 1080 AD, Ninjaism was established. The people rejoiced, worshiping their lord and savior, Kakashi, and reading his Holy Romance Scripture. Many prophets were born and spread the word throughout the world, and all were happy.
After a while, Japan received word of the United Nations’ formation, and sent delegates to speak for them. Germany, after being refused a gift of 1600 gold from Japanese’s wealth of 1800, decided to propose an embargo against the nation. Japan vote against the proposal.
Germany’s leader, Bismarck, was quoted saying, "I know that your votes played a part in my proposal not going through. I will remember this."
Germany denounced Japan, whose leaders told him he'd pay for this in time. Japan began construction on the world’s first atomic weapon.
Siam, Arabia, and the Iroquois joined together and denounced Germany. The once beloved empire lost those closest to them. India and Portugal denounced Siam, Germany denounced China, Siam and Maya denounced Arabia. The world was falling apart. Japan’s leadership decided to build a spaceship and leave it all behind. War was breaking out all across the world. They fought each other on horseback with pointed sticks. A Japanese carrier made its way to Germany's borders. In the midst of war, Gandhi requested that Japan trade him some silk for a horse.
Germany soon discovered Japan’s efforts towards constructing the world's first WMD and proposed a nuclear disarmament to the UN. The proposal passed. Probably because the other civilizations were centuries away from developing nuclear weaponry. Japan soon finished its space ship and left Earth behind, seeking to start a new empire in the stars.
What will the future hold for the Japanese Empire? Discover this and more in the soon to be published: “Civilization: 6th Edition.” Available for purchase through any university bookstore for $250*.
*Price liable to increase
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Since the early times, in the earliest years, even back to 1200BC, the great nation of America had pledged to keep their Capital only to one, alone in the continent of north America they were left unmolested for some thousands of years. Meanwhile in the mainland of Africa, Asia and Europe, two great nations grew. One grew into the might that was the great Egyptian empire, growing out of central Africa and expanding into the middle east. The other nation of Spain, the warmongering menace to the world, aggressively grew out of eastern Asia. They met the Chinese in India, and after relations soured brutally destroyed them in a quick war.
The rapid expansion of the Egyptians caused them to meet at the east of the middle east at 1500 AD. Tensions were high between the two, but an unknown force arrived at the Indian sea, just before war seemed to break out. A trireme arrived on the shores of the conquered India. The great nation of America had arrived at the shores. After a quick meeting between leaders the men on the ship were allowed onto shore. Musket men surrounded the foreign people but it was clear they were of peaceful nature.
The men walked up, clearly unarmed. They waved their arms in the air screaming "Oh please do not harm us! Our ships have not touched land for some 1000 years! We only wish sanctuary and a place to establish our religion, JackToTheTopism!"
Although the Spanish ruler gave multiple warnings to America to not have their missionaries of such religion take home at their cities America continued anyways. It was at this moment however America entered a revolution. With the assassination of the previous leader, Jack, Ethan took over and revolutionized the nation. It had severely fallen behind everything as their single city had been unable to keep up with the expansive might of the other nations. The great leader, Ethan expanded all across America, to the northern tip of south America. The nation was in turmoil at the revolution and Ethan turned the nation into a militaristic empire as he built up the armed forces.
The tensions eventually broke out into all out war between the Egyptians and Spanish in the middle east. Endless waves of riflemen and cannons ran at each other as both nations expended all of their efforts to the annihilation of the only other relevant nation in the world. The nation of Egypt sent an emissary with a proposal. He wanted America to open up a second front on the war. To attack from the north by crossing across a thin area of water that could be sailed across. Hopelessly out classed by the powerful Spanish military the dictator Ethan amassed untold numbers of riflemen to run against the machines guns and infantry of the Spanish. They were moved to their northern border and war was declared. With no sense for the loss of life unit after unit was sent towards the open capital of the Spanish. It was to no avail. Not a single dent was seen on the gleaning capital of the Spanish, as they dedicated naught but two regiments of infantry and three of artillery to fend of the millions of American soldiers.
The efforts of the Americans may as well have never happened, as the Spanish managed to push towards the Egyptians. The Egyptian ruler, greatly angered due to his orders being intercepted by some unknown spy system he claimed to be called "host lag."
Many years passed as the world raged on in war. It seemed just as the Americans could make his soldiers on par with the enemies the Spanish would get just ahead as well. Angered at his losses he called for a truce that the Spanish gladly accepted. This peace did not last long however, as exactly 20 years later the northern front reopened and the mass murder of millions of American soldiers continued at the gates of the Spanish capital.
With the final united nations meeting to decide the world leader coming up it seemed assured that the Spanish would win, if he did not conquer all of the world first. The Egyptians only having the southern half of africa remaining, every single city state being on the side of the Spanish, and America being now in the tens of millions of casualties, all hope seemed lost. This was confirmed as the first bomb fell. The nukes hit the Egyptians hard, annihilating their cities to rubble.
A final deal was opened between the Egyptians and Americans however, unbeknownst to the Spanish. All the money in the Egyptian's coffers would be directly transferred to the Americans, and the americans would purpose peace one last time. The Spanish accepted the Americans peace proposal one last time. The Spanish fought hard to extinguish the Egyptians for good, and sent his own nuclear submarines to the Americans, and only one turn remained until the leader would be decided.
In what was to be known as "The Great City-State Donation Program" the americans donated a grand total of 93,000 gold to every city state, making every single one of them his ally. The americans, naught but one turn after the Treaty of Madrid, the Americans immediately declared war on the Spanish, preventing any trade between the City states and the great nation. The turn was over. The votes counted. And with the unconquered Egypt standing strong, every single city state in the game, and America's votes together, Ethan, herald of JackToTheTopism, considered by his people a genocidal maniac, with nukes a year away from being aimed down his throat,was named Supreme Ruler of the World
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Year 1550 A.D.
To my most esteemed enemy Attila the Hun,
You have finally done it, it is finished. My greatest fortress conquered,
my people enslaved, all the wealth of Japan now lies with you. You were like a force of nature relentless, striking without warning. How you greeted us as friends, allies, with a blade behind your back. I should have known, should have prepared for war. It still boils me to the bone how you treacherously slithered up, taking the advantage slowly. "Accidently" taking major materials, bribing the city states who we once called allies, then in the end the build up of troops on our borders. We trusted you, thought of you as a man of his word. But it seems honor meant nothing to you. We were being led astray to ruin all along...
Is what you would like to think. Do you take us for fools? We knew of your intend, of your treacherous intentions centuires ago.
However it was too late to prepare for war, too far behind to actually win against your armies. Therefore we accecpted our inevitable demise...
You however will accompany us. To your East lies Rome and its legions ready to strike as your warriors siege our remaining cities. To your North lies Napoleon with his fleet eyeing the riches of your coasts. Yes that's right we offered ourselves on a silver platter to them, to be a worthy sacrifice, all this for your destruction.
Now our remaining forces, half-starved, depleted, will drag your finest warriors down with them with the strength of hundreds. We will die happy knowing every death will be repaid in a river of blood. Run along now if you can, we will follow you to the ends of the world. For unlike you, we have nothing more to lose.
A village no more, a country no more, I am the last of my line.
Blood for blood.
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Like most Empires, the German Empire started small. In the year 4000 BC the city of Berlin was founded in a small valley, nestled beneath the great Bernese mountains to the north. Berlin quickly grew and expanded, and the great Otto von Bismarck deemed it necessary to grow and expand his ever growing civilization. Soon, the cities of Munich and Hamburg were settled in the great plains to the south and southeast.
Germans rejoiced as their Empire continued to grow and all was calm.
But then Germany met Korea.
Bismarck was weary of the Korean's, with their strange, nearly opposite Pagan beliefs. However, trade between the two Empires flourished for several decades. Korea worringly began to expand ever closer to Germany's borders, despite many requests not to from Bismarck. Bismarck, in his wisdom, predicted future conflict, began to build his military to protect his Empire from Korean Imperialism. When Korea founded its 10th city, the line in the sand had been crossed, and Bismarck declared war. The Korean's may have had a large Empire, but it was not strong in might, soon 1,2, then 3 cities fell to the German onslaught, either being razed to the ground or acquired by the German Empire. Within years, Seoul fell to the Germans, and Korea moved its Capital south to the city of Haeju, and brokered for peace with Germany, surrendering its remaining cities.
Shortly after this though, two new civilizations, the Romans and the Dutch reared their heads. The Dutch offered friendship, but Rome simply wanted Germany out of its way in order to expand. After a small amount of time, both the Dutch and the Germans allied against the Roman menace and within a small expanse of time Rome was captured by the Germans and the Dutch had several new former Roman cities. By this time, the Germans had also expanded westward, towards the sea that divided the world in half.
Things stayed quiet and peaceful between the Dutch and Germans for hundreds of years. This quiet was to be broken though when Germany met many civilizations in a small period of time. The Russians, Arabians, Persians, and Iriquois revealed themselves, with the Iriquois being extremely hostile towards the Germans. They began to denounce Germany, refused trade agreements, and denied open borders. Soon, Germany had had enough of this and sneakily launched a force across the sea towards the new continent that housed the Iriquois. The German Army caught the Iriquois by suprise at the Battle of Alamanca Gap. Soon, Alamanca was taken by the Germans and a new foothold was gained in the new continent. Expended by this effort though, Germany agreed to peace with the Iriquois, only to break the peace within a few decades, swiftly taking the Iriquois capital. City after city fell to the Germans, and the Iriquois later went into hiding, their one remaining city hidden in the far west of the world.
Things did not stay peaceful after this though, Germany still had a large Army on its home continent that grew restless, and Germany began to get greedy, wanting the iron and gold rich territories of the Dutch for itself. After a brief period of training yet more troops, Germany launched a suprise attack on the Dutch, swiftly defeating the larger but technologically inferior Dutch army and claiming its Capital. Soon, Germany controlled the whole Eastern side of the world for itself.
The year is now 1760 AD. Germany seeks to dominate the Western world now, setting its sights on the weak Persian Empire while at the same time hoping to find and finish off its old nemesis, the Iriquois....
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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###Chapter 7: The Great War of 1931 - 1969
The year is 1931, Bismarck the Terrible of Germany, as the other nations leader called him, had just conquered Songhai and Persia, securing his position on the continent. Being the first to discover that the world was round, Bismarck had large groups of scouting parties. He ordered them to scout the other countries and find their capitols. However, word spread quickly of Bismarcks conquest through nearby nation states and their allies. The scouting parties were first intercepted by the Mongols. The Mongols captured and killed some of the scouts, Bismarck used this as a platform to wage war overseas. A new operation had begun, named "Operation Dryout". The largest navy in the world, Germanys, steamed towards the Mongolian coastlines. Once there, they unleashed several bombardments on their capitol, working parties, and other cities. This shelling lasted for quite some time until the mighty Panzer units arrived with infantry, Anti Tank weaponry, and artillery. These men trekked the harsh terrain, conquering a nation state which was allied with the Mongols and proceeding to the Mongolian border. Once there, the Panzers spearheaded an attack followed by the infantry and AT, supported by artillery bombardment.
The Mongols lasted for quite some time, discovering attack helicopters before Germany, discover rocket artillery before Germany, but this proved no match for the sheer manpower and tactical skill of the German forces. By 1934 the Mongols had been wiped out. The nation state of Brussels was freed from Mongol hands and became allied with Germany. Now stationing the troops which fought in the Mongol-German War along the border with Japan, a lone infantry unit crossed the border by accident. This sparked the Two Year War which proceeded until the Japanese leader decided to ask for peace. Peace was accepted and everyone got along, except for the nation states. Brussels wished for the nation state of Hanoi to be destroyed. Because Brussels was an important strategic ally, Germany complied and conquered Hanoi. Expanding its borders to an island chain in the middle of an ocean. Then, Quebec wanted Venice destroyed. Venice was taken and in 1938, Quebec was conquered. The German countryside expanded and expanded, cities dotting the landscape every couple miles. Settlers being trained every two to three years and being sent overseas to begin new cities!
This sparked a golden ago, although in a time of war the German people were protected by their military and leaders grand tactical mind. The great general Patton was born and sent to the Mongol-Indian border to construct a citadel. The leader had heard of the supposedly peaceful Ghandi and his acts of terror. Now, only three major powers existed. Germany, Japan, and India. Japan, somewhat intimidated after the huge losses taken during the Two Year War and how close the Germans got to the capitol, agreed to an alliance and denouncing India. India denounced the Germans and Japanese after this and drove up their military spending, as recorded by scouts inside Indian territory. Several years passed and more nation states disappeared under the German flag. In 1940 the German and Japanese went to war against India. The Indians fought hard and well, forcing Japan to declare peace four years into the war. Indian and Germans fought until 1954. Fighting ended briefly at a stalemate, with no real peace declared, until 1960. The Japanese had gone to war again and lost their country to the Indians. Germany now fought on Japanese and Indian soil. The German navy surrounded India and begun bombardment. German submarines sank any Indian ships attempting to get out. The Indians were pushed back to the former Japanese border and then into their home country. Then was when the fighting got fiercer. Both sides now had atomic weapons and only the Germans were afraid to use it, for fear of backlash from unhappy civilians. India dropped a nuclear bomb on a captured Mongolian city and destroyed it. A modern tank unit had been stationed there and was destroyed, along with the 12,000 citizens of the city.
In 1965 the Germans and Indians had been going back and forth. It either ended within that decade, or it would never end and both countries would be drained of resources. The Germans launched a major offensive into the remaining Indian land. Armor units were launched from the nearest citadel along with any Artillery pieces in the area which were not in contact with the enemy. All units which could engage the enemy were obliged to. Artillery rained on enemy infantry and then their own cities. Now closing in on the Indian capitol, they rested. Awaiting to heal, the Indians launched a counter-offensive which took several infantry units but was quickly put down. The nearby battleship fleet was sent into the bay area near the Indian capitol to begin shelling. This continued until their defenses were low enough that the Infantry and Armor could attack without severe losses.
Four years after 1965, when the offensive was launched the German people rejoiced in a golden era. After the capture of the Indian territory, many soldiers were sent back to their homes on leave. Others, were sent to allied nation states to negotiate.
###THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER 7.
###NEXT CHAPTER, CHAPTER 8: THE AMERICAN BATTLES FOR VICTORY
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At the dawn of civilization, all cultures were separated onto individual islands. Most cultures quickly built two cities on their island and started to work toward finding a way off their island.
In 2500 BC, however, the Danes who had started quite weak, only building one tiny city, were the first to gain the knowledge of sea travel. The truth of where they got this knowledge has been lost to time. All we know today is that shortly after discovering the secrets of sea travel, the Danes, now calling themselves the Vikings built large, advanced sailing vessels that could cross oceans, and that were armed with explosive weaponry.
Using this sudden windfall of naval supremacy, the Vikings proceeded to go and conquer all of the known world.
After uniting all peoples within their realm under one banner, the King of the the Vikings, Woden, proceeded to put his people's might to work on the sciences. They discovered everything they could about their land, and about the neighboring lands across the greatest ocean, that of the stars.
Eventually, the Vikings created their first star ship. It sailed out into the stars and brought peace to many of the neighboring realms, such the one they called Midgard.
After the success of the first mission, the head pilot on the mission, the son of the king, demanded a more permanent solution to space travel be built. And thus, the Bifrost was created.
And that is the history of Asgard.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Year 1550 A.D.
To my most esteemed enemy Attila the Hun,
You have finally done it, it is finished. My greatest fortress conquered,
my people enslaved, all the wealth of Japan now lies with you. You were like a force of nature relentless, striking without warning. How you greeted us as friends, allies, with a blade behind your back. I should have known, should have prepared for war. It still boils me to the bone how you treacherously slithered up, taking the advantage slowly. "Accidently" taking major materials, bribing the city states who we once called allies, then in the end the build up of troops on our borders. We trusted you, thought of you as a man of his word. But it seems honor meant nothing to you. We were being led astray to ruin all along...
Is what you would like to think. Do you take us for fools? We knew of your intend, of your treacherous intentions centuires ago.
However it was too late to prepare for war, too far behind to actually win against your armies. Therefore we accecpted our inevitable demise...
You however will accompany us. To your East lies Rome and its legions ready to strike as your warriors siege our remaining cities. To your North lies Napoleon with his fleet eyeing the riches of your coasts. Yes that's right we offered ourselves on a silver platter to them, to be a worthy sacrifice, all this for your destruction.
Now our remaining forces, half-starved, depleted, will drag your finest warriors down with them with the strength of hundreds. We will die happy knowing every death will be repaid in a river of blood. Run along now if you can, we will follow you to the ends of the world. For unlike you, we have nothing more to lose.
A village no more, a country no more, I am the last of my line.
Blood for blood.
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At the dawn of civilization, all cultures were separated onto individual islands. Most cultures quickly built two cities on their island and started to work toward finding a way off their island.
In 2500 BC, however, the Danes who had started quite weak, only building one tiny city, were the first to gain the knowledge of sea travel. The truth of where they got this knowledge has been lost to time. All we know today is that shortly after discovering the secrets of sea travel, the Danes, now calling themselves the Vikings built large, advanced sailing vessels that could cross oceans, and that were armed with explosive weaponry.
Using this sudden windfall of naval supremacy, the Vikings proceeded to go and conquer all of the known world.
After uniting all peoples within their realm under one banner, the King of the the Vikings, Woden, proceeded to put his people's might to work on the sciences. They discovered everything they could about their land, and about the neighboring lands across the greatest ocean, that of the stars.
Eventually, the Vikings created their first star ship. It sailed out into the stars and brought peace to many of the neighboring realms, such the one they called Midgard.
After the success of the first mission, the head pilot on the mission, the son of the king, demanded a more permanent solution to space travel be built. And thus, the Bifrost was created.
And that is the history of Asgard.
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|
[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
|
Year 1550 A.D.
To my most esteemed enemy Attila the Hun,
You have finally done it, it is finished. My greatest fortress conquered,
my people enslaved, all the wealth of Japan now lies with you. You were like a force of nature relentless, striking without warning. How you greeted us as friends, allies, with a blade behind your back. I should have known, should have prepared for war. It still boils me to the bone how you treacherously slithered up, taking the advantage slowly. "Accidently" taking major materials, bribing the city states who we once called allies, then in the end the build up of troops on our borders. We trusted you, thought of you as a man of his word. But it seems honor meant nothing to you. We were being led astray to ruin all along...
Is what you would like to think. Do you take us for fools? We knew of your intend, of your treacherous intentions centuires ago.
However it was too late to prepare for war, too far behind to actually win against your armies. Therefore we accecpted our inevitable demise...
You however will accompany us. To your East lies Rome and its legions ready to strike as your warriors siege our remaining cities. To your North lies Napoleon with his fleet eyeing the riches of your coasts. Yes that's right we offered ourselves on a silver platter to them, to be a worthy sacrifice, all this for your destruction.
Now our remaining forces, half-starved, depleted, will drag your finest warriors down with them with the strength of hundreds. We will die happy knowing every death will be repaid in a river of blood. Run along now if you can, we will follow you to the ends of the world. For unlike you, we have nothing more to lose.
A village no more, a country no more, I am the last of my line.
Blood for blood.
|
###Chapter 7: The Great War of 1931 - 1969
The year is 1931, Bismarck the Terrible of Germany, as the other nations leader called him, had just conquered Songhai and Persia, securing his position on the continent. Being the first to discover that the world was round, Bismarck had large groups of scouting parties. He ordered them to scout the other countries and find their capitols. However, word spread quickly of Bismarcks conquest through nearby nation states and their allies. The scouting parties were first intercepted by the Mongols. The Mongols captured and killed some of the scouts, Bismarck used this as a platform to wage war overseas. A new operation had begun, named "Operation Dryout". The largest navy in the world, Germanys, steamed towards the Mongolian coastlines. Once there, they unleashed several bombardments on their capitol, working parties, and other cities. This shelling lasted for quite some time until the mighty Panzer units arrived with infantry, Anti Tank weaponry, and artillery. These men trekked the harsh terrain, conquering a nation state which was allied with the Mongols and proceeding to the Mongolian border. Once there, the Panzers spearheaded an attack followed by the infantry and AT, supported by artillery bombardment.
The Mongols lasted for quite some time, discovering attack helicopters before Germany, discover rocket artillery before Germany, but this proved no match for the sheer manpower and tactical skill of the German forces. By 1934 the Mongols had been wiped out. The nation state of Brussels was freed from Mongol hands and became allied with Germany. Now stationing the troops which fought in the Mongol-German War along the border with Japan, a lone infantry unit crossed the border by accident. This sparked the Two Year War which proceeded until the Japanese leader decided to ask for peace. Peace was accepted and everyone got along, except for the nation states. Brussels wished for the nation state of Hanoi to be destroyed. Because Brussels was an important strategic ally, Germany complied and conquered Hanoi. Expanding its borders to an island chain in the middle of an ocean. Then, Quebec wanted Venice destroyed. Venice was taken and in 1938, Quebec was conquered. The German countryside expanded and expanded, cities dotting the landscape every couple miles. Settlers being trained every two to three years and being sent overseas to begin new cities!
This sparked a golden ago, although in a time of war the German people were protected by their military and leaders grand tactical mind. The great general Patton was born and sent to the Mongol-Indian border to construct a citadel. The leader had heard of the supposedly peaceful Ghandi and his acts of terror. Now, only three major powers existed. Germany, Japan, and India. Japan, somewhat intimidated after the huge losses taken during the Two Year War and how close the Germans got to the capitol, agreed to an alliance and denouncing India. India denounced the Germans and Japanese after this and drove up their military spending, as recorded by scouts inside Indian territory. Several years passed and more nation states disappeared under the German flag. In 1940 the German and Japanese went to war against India. The Indians fought hard and well, forcing Japan to declare peace four years into the war. Indian and Germans fought until 1954. Fighting ended briefly at a stalemate, with no real peace declared, until 1960. The Japanese had gone to war again and lost their country to the Indians. Germany now fought on Japanese and Indian soil. The German navy surrounded India and begun bombardment. German submarines sank any Indian ships attempting to get out. The Indians were pushed back to the former Japanese border and then into their home country. Then was when the fighting got fiercer. Both sides now had atomic weapons and only the Germans were afraid to use it, for fear of backlash from unhappy civilians. India dropped a nuclear bomb on a captured Mongolian city and destroyed it. A modern tank unit had been stationed there and was destroyed, along with the 12,000 citizens of the city.
In 1965 the Germans and Indians had been going back and forth. It either ended within that decade, or it would never end and both countries would be drained of resources. The Germans launched a major offensive into the remaining Indian land. Armor units were launched from the nearest citadel along with any Artillery pieces in the area which were not in contact with the enemy. All units which could engage the enemy were obliged to. Artillery rained on enemy infantry and then their own cities. Now closing in on the Indian capitol, they rested. Awaiting to heal, the Indians launched a counter-offensive which took several infantry units but was quickly put down. The nearby battleship fleet was sent into the bay area near the Indian capitol to begin shelling. This continued until their defenses were low enough that the Infantry and Armor could attack without severe losses.
Four years after 1965, when the offensive was launched the German people rejoiced in a golden era. After the capture of the Indian territory, many soldiers were sent back to their homes on leave. Others, were sent to allied nation states to negotiate.
###THIS IS THE END OF CHAPTER 7.
###NEXT CHAPTER, CHAPTER 8: THE AMERICAN BATTLES FOR VICTORY
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The once-proud Greek empire had invented democracy, and the written language, constructed the pyramids, and achieved the ability to sail on the ocean, despite being a land-locked empire.
In 1100 A.D. Alexander found his cities completely surrounded by troops armed with rifles, a technology which the world had never seen before. The soldiers which surrounded all of the cities belonging to Alexander, who was himself already over 1500 years old belonged to a nation that had seemingly no understanding of the written word or philosophy. Modern day historians have contemplated that perhaps it was the learned nature of the Greek civilization that had enraged it's long-time ally into building up a massive force around each of the Greek cities.
Ghandi, on the other hand, had made outrageous demands of Alexander, at first in exchange for friendship, and as time went on, under threats of violence. Alexander seemed completely unaware of the impending warfare despite the huge military buildup close to each of his cities.
Exactly ten years after their peace treaty ended Ghandi launched a sneak attack against his long time ally. All of the Greek cities fell on the same day, with the exception of Sparta, which existed for 100 more years and became the new Capitol of Greece, it's incredibly remote location had ensured that Ghandi didn't know of it's existence until all of the other Greek cities had fallen. Sparta existed as a tiny nation-state which had insufficient land to grow, so that it's population languished in inactivity and starved until it was eventually taken by a group of barbarian warriors which had inexplicably sailed there in a tiny, crudely constructed boat which had sailed solely through shallow coastal waters. The irony was that Sparta could have trained a single unit of pikemen given another 30 years.
Ghandi, meanwhile, had conquered the bulk of the Greek empire in search of Uranium, despite having no concept of what it was or what it was for. Ghandi went on to conquer the rest of the world, with the exception of one city owned by Genghis Khan. That single city was allowed to exist, and indeed thrive for almost another thousand years, seemingly without explanation. Any settlers sent from the city were promptly captured, and the peaceful Mongolian empire languished in the peace offered, bafflingly at no cost, by the incredibly bloodthirsty Ghandi.
In 1990 the motives of our glorious and beloved God-king Ghandi became apparent as nuclear missile after nuclear missile rained down upon the lone Mongolian city until it was reduced to it's foundations. The city was conquered and razed, lost to history. Our dear leader, now over 3,000 years old, has conquered the world. He weeps now, for he has nothing left to drop nuclear missiles on.
Edit: whoever gave me gold, I thank you kindly. I honestly never expected that to happen. Ever.
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This is the tale of the rise and fall of the mighty Moroccan Empire.
many years ago, along the fertile banks of a river flowing mightily through a great desert, the fledgling city of Marrakech was first founded.
the people of this city were brave and adventurous, sending scouting parties traversing the rolling dunes and passing by the crisp, refreshing oasis that dotted the featureless expanse of desert they called home. they met strange and exotic peoples, from the Iroquois residing in the harsh tundra to the north, lorded over by the strong and proud "Bobsfaggot", and the people of Ethiopia, led by the wise and powerful "MAsterchef117" occupying the hilly plains to the south.
this city was particularly blessed. they went relatively unmolested by the barbarian hordes that squatted in camps filled with entrapped workers, and were left to grow and develop with only small periods of conflict. not only did the bounties of the grand river of Marrakech provide ample sustenance for Morocco's rapidly growing population, but also brought forth sugarcane, and to the northern expanse laid copper and gems. these luxuries provided great happiness and rejoicing to the people of Morocco, and allowed
the industrious Moroccan people to focus production on the Great Library, giving them a wealth of knowledge to gain a strong lead in research. the time honored message "suck it you noobs, fuck yeah" was sent immediately to all the known leaders of the world.
terse diplomatic responses came in the form of:
"this game is so broken"
"my starting position sucks ass"
"get a life you fag"
and similar statements.
but the people of Morocco were not deterred, and did not squander their progress.
swiftly they focused their research on the acquisition of science and gold, and worked on expanding their empire. with the central position of Marrakech and the newly formed cities of Rabat farther downriver and Fes along the pearl-engorged coast located to the far east, the Moroccans were in a prime position to engage in trade with civilizations located all around. once the caravans flowed to and from Marrakech in droves, and as the rest of the world struggled along in the wake of Morocco's swift technological innovation, the Moroccan people grew reclusive.
open border deals were systematically denied, and offers for joint research were met with scorn.
scout parties and boats, sent out long ago in a quest for knowledge and experience, were disbanded. Morocco grew arrogant in their advanced position in the world, and thought themselves untouchable, responding to threats and statements of discontent with tactful diplomatic decrees such as
"thats what i said to your mother last night",
"you're just salty im winning", and
"try it kid ill wreck you".
this was not the case.
the declarations of war came like a flash, accompanied by the exclamation "surprise bitch", and seemingly overnight three mighty armies poured into the long untouched borders of Morocco's desert.
the Iroquois to the north, the Ethiopians in the south, and the lesser kingdom of Russia, led by the humble queen "Mrshokia", in the rough mountainous regions to the west.
"what the hell is this teaming shit?" thought the wise sultan of Morocco as he looked upon the amassed horde of adversaries.
the assailing armies outnumbered the moderate military force of the Moroccans, but the Moroccans were not so easily conquered.
Walls and castles had long since been erected, and the fierce Berber Calvary of the Moroccans were at their strongest in both desert territory and their native land.
and so the war was waged. initially, the war looked bleak for Morocco. after a tough fight, Rabat was lost, the proud northern expanse which held many long cherished resources and luxuries was set ablaze, and the people of Fes were starving.
but pouring all the production and wealth Morocco could into military might, it rebounded. first the meager forces of Russia were repelled, as they foolishly attempted to take Marrakech head on without aid from their allies.
the defeated cry that came from Russia's monarch, "fuck this im gonna go play CS:GO", echos through the annals of history even today.
next came the Iroquois, who were more numerous and advanced. the fighting was hard, and they bombarded the battered walls of Marrakech considerably, but the city stood, and after a swift reacquisition of the northern territory drove the Iroquois out of the desert, a peace treaty was brokered, capped with the statement "this is so stupid i had like a million guys those Calvary are so OP".
the vile Ethiopians had set the city of Rabat ablaze. the armies of Morocco, bloodied and on the other side of the desert, raced to save the city.
but all was in vain.
Rabat was burned to the ground, despite the hard pressing of the Moroccan military against the Ethiopians.
tired of conflict and desperate to reverse the downward spiral they now found themselves in, Morocco made piece with Ethiopia, finally ending the great Desert Invasion.
what was left of Morocco was pitiful.
half the territory still ablaze, the other taken completely away, and the remaining cities battered and starving.
trade was decimated and poverty set in quickly. the pillars of Moroccan culture and science declined, and Morocco's position as the lead world power was eventually usurped by an upstart nation to the far northwest, China.
the rebuilding was arduous and long, and never fully restored Morocco to its former glory.
indeed, when news of China's completion of their spaceship on a course set for Alpha centari reached Morocco, just as they had planned to do, the people of Morocco fell down and wept.
so, in the never ending race for survival and the cutthroat game we call civilization, the once proud and mighty Moroccan Empire lost,
and left the world, not with a bang, but a whimper.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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“And so,” Geldaramesh, history teacher and beer aficionado cleared his throat. “We come to an important chapter in the history of our world. The razing of Memphis. Turn to chapter seven, children.”
Geldaramesh waited as the children turned the pages in their textbooks, paper rustling. The header of the chapter was resplendent with a full colour illustration of King Nebakanezer, standing heroic and strong-jawed over the smoking ruins of a city as a group of scantily clad women lamented at his feet. Hardly suitable material for children, thought Geldaramesh, but at least this edition didn’t have the picture of him standing on the dismembered bodies of Egyptian soldiers.
“Ok,” said Geldaramesh. “Who here can tell me how Memphis was founded?”
The room was a sea of hands. Geldaramesh peered to the back, and pointed to a boy. “Bilit.”
“The Egyptians were filthy lying dogs, sir.”
Some of the boys cheered.
Geldaramesh sighed. “That is true, yes, but I’m looking for a more precise answer than that.”
Bilit looked confused. “They wanted to take our beautiful babylonian women and steal our superior technology, sir?”
“While that is very likely true, Bilit, it is sadly irrelevant,” Geldaramesh waved for the others to put their hands down. “As those of you who have read the book may already know, Memphis was established by Egypt as a staging post for their military. The Babylonian Empire at this point already extended to the East coast of the interpennine sea, having cleansed the area of barbarian tribes, but Egypt refused to acknowledge this.”
Geldaramesh turned to the blackboard, and began to sketch a map in chalk, marking Babylonian territory in blue and the Egyptian interlopers in yellow.
“In 1582, Egypt sent over their first group of settlers with the intent of establishing a city on the coast. Thankfully, our army captured them, and they were subject to execution. Egypt claimed that these interlopers were acting independently, and sued for peace. However, in the confusion following the execution, the Egyptians established a second settlement on the coast. Memphis.
Relations with Memphis were fraught from the beginning, as its only passage to the mainland was a narrow mountain pass, occupied by the city of Dur-Kurigalzu, which refused its inhabitants passage or trade, and scouts had spotted military units in the pass and in the sea along the south coast. Nebakanezer grew suspicious of the lying Egyptian dogs, and set the generation’s greatest minds into building a weapon that could rid us of this menace once and for all.”
Geldaramesh looked out at the class. “And what was this weapon children?”
They replied as one. “Gunpowder!”
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Chapter 1: The Founding of The Land Between the Rivers and the formation of the Arabian Empire
Arabia began long ago with the founding of Mecca in the Land Between the Rivers. Brave explorers ventured out into the harsh world. In between the rivers there was only desert. On one side, the great Meccan Mountains, and on the other the Iroquois Plains. But there was gold, a lot of gold.
In the south, where the two rivers met the Great Bay of Medina, a second city was founded, one that would one day become the greatest port in the world.
The Brazilians were encountered in the vast, jingled peninsula on the western side of the Meccan Mountains. Their lands were lush with fruits and black dirt. To the east, the Iroquois ruled the plains with an iron fist.
Nearby, Capetown competed with the young city of Medina for wealth and trade. But, the leaders of Arabia were wise, and ordered that all building projects be put on hold so that the Great Wonders could be built. Their rationale was: "well, sure, we don't really want to win a cultural victory, but if *we* build the Parthenon, then no one else can."
In time, the Land Between the Two Rivers grew and prospered.
Then, the Iroquois invaded from the plains. They came with spears and bows. They came with battering rams and horses. The Arabians were not prepared.
Damascus burned.
The Arabians rallied, realizing that the Middle Ages (324 BC) were a little late to be building their first armies, but seeing as the Universe had only been set to Prince difficulty, they had not feared an invasion. They paid dearly for that mistake.
After a viscous battle at Medina, where the great rivers flowed into the sea, the Iroquois advance finally came to a halt. The Arabians quickly adopted Patronage to celebrate. The smaller nations of the world would accept Arabian trade and the Arabs would get from them the things that their harsh land would not offer.
The Arabians retook Damascus, and the city burned again.
The Iroquois retreated to the plains, chased by the Arabians, who did not have the strength remaining to take Grand River. A peace was brokered, with a stalemate being the key outcome. Arabia returned to peace.
Until the Brazilians came down from the Meccan Mountain passes and surrounded the holy capital with their unexpected invasion.
Brave warriors died in their hundreds and thousands as Mecca broke wave after wave of Brazilian pikemen. The leaders of Arabia, in their infinite wisdom, questioned whether they should halt production of Machu Picchu and build more troops. Their wise decision was proclaimed to the whole nation.
“Meh, it’ll be fine.”
And so it was.
The Brazilians were pushed back across the mountains and peace was achieved. A golden age dawned for the Land Between the Rivers. Gold flowed to other nations in return for unimagined luxuries, spices and silks. Capetown allied itself with Arabia, recognizing the superiority of the Port of Medina, which now sported the Colossus of Rhodes at the mouth of one river and the Great Lighthouse at the mouth of the other; an achievement that was widely regarded by the leaders of Arabia as “looking totally badass”.
For the next few hundred years, Arabia became the battle ground of the great religions of Protestantism, founded by the Iroquois, and Buddhism founded by the distant Siamese.
The Persians fell to the Zulu in a distant land. Their leader surrendered the capital in shame. The Zulu then began their long and unsuccessful campaign against the Siamese.
The leaders of Arabia were far more concerned with the unmet nation that kept beating them in their quest to build completely unnecessary wonders. They vowed that they would turn whichever nation it was into “a nuclear waste”, a proclamation that few understood in 1100AD.
The thunder of cannons marked the invasion of Brazil by the Arabs. It was justified by a massive push in the Arabian government to “spice the game up a little”. In the end, the jungles burned and cities fell until the entire peninsula was added to the Land Between the Rivers.
The Arabian Empire was born.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The earliest known city was founded on the coast, though it appears that the original settlers actually travelled there from one or two hexes away.
Perhaps they were drawn by the sugar which grows there, or the river. Most likely, both.
They named their city "Carthage". From this early time, we know very little. The city grew and there were some minor skirmishes with unknown people; probably roaming tribes. The remains of some of their camps have been found, and the odd trinket. But nothing more is known of these people or the battles which they fought, other than they were exterminated ruthlessly by Carthage.
We know that the first Carthaginians arrived in the court of Attilla the Hun shortly after the founding of Carthage, and that Shaka sent representatives to Carthage not long afterwards.
We can see slightly later evidence of Shaka's warriors descending from one direction, and Attilla's from another.
There is evidence of a few large battles around Carthage at this time.
And that's it. That's all there is. We shall probably never know what happened; but legend has it that the inhabitants of Carthage simply vanished into thin air: taken by the ancient god "Ragequit".
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Chapter 1: The Founding of The Land Between the Rivers and the formation of the Arabian Empire
Arabia began long ago with the founding of Mecca in the Land Between the Rivers. Brave explorers ventured out into the harsh world. In between the rivers there was only desert. On one side, the great Meccan Mountains, and on the other the Iroquois Plains. But there was gold, a lot of gold.
In the south, where the two rivers met the Great Bay of Medina, a second city was founded, one that would one day become the greatest port in the world.
The Brazilians were encountered in the vast, jingled peninsula on the western side of the Meccan Mountains. Their lands were lush with fruits and black dirt. To the east, the Iroquois ruled the plains with an iron fist.
Nearby, Capetown competed with the young city of Medina for wealth and trade. But, the leaders of Arabia were wise, and ordered that all building projects be put on hold so that the Great Wonders could be built. Their rationale was: "well, sure, we don't really want to win a cultural victory, but if *we* build the Parthenon, then no one else can."
In time, the Land Between the Two Rivers grew and prospered.
Then, the Iroquois invaded from the plains. They came with spears and bows. They came with battering rams and horses. The Arabians were not prepared.
Damascus burned.
The Arabians rallied, realizing that the Middle Ages (324 BC) were a little late to be building their first armies, but seeing as the Universe had only been set to Prince difficulty, they had not feared an invasion. They paid dearly for that mistake.
After a viscous battle at Medina, where the great rivers flowed into the sea, the Iroquois advance finally came to a halt. The Arabians quickly adopted Patronage to celebrate. The smaller nations of the world would accept Arabian trade and the Arabs would get from them the things that their harsh land would not offer.
The Arabians retook Damascus, and the city burned again.
The Iroquois retreated to the plains, chased by the Arabians, who did not have the strength remaining to take Grand River. A peace was brokered, with a stalemate being the key outcome. Arabia returned to peace.
Until the Brazilians came down from the Meccan Mountain passes and surrounded the holy capital with their unexpected invasion.
Brave warriors died in their hundreds and thousands as Mecca broke wave after wave of Brazilian pikemen. The leaders of Arabia, in their infinite wisdom, questioned whether they should halt production of Machu Picchu and build more troops. Their wise decision was proclaimed to the whole nation.
“Meh, it’ll be fine.”
And so it was.
The Brazilians were pushed back across the mountains and peace was achieved. A golden age dawned for the Land Between the Rivers. Gold flowed to other nations in return for unimagined luxuries, spices and silks. Capetown allied itself with Arabia, recognizing the superiority of the Port of Medina, which now sported the Colossus of Rhodes at the mouth of one river and the Great Lighthouse at the mouth of the other; an achievement that was widely regarded by the leaders of Arabia as “looking totally badass”.
For the next few hundred years, Arabia became the battle ground of the great religions of Protestantism, founded by the Iroquois, and Buddhism founded by the distant Siamese.
The Persians fell to the Zulu in a distant land. Their leader surrendered the capital in shame. The Zulu then began their long and unsuccessful campaign against the Siamese.
The leaders of Arabia were far more concerned with the unmet nation that kept beating them in their quest to build completely unnecessary wonders. They vowed that they would turn whichever nation it was into “a nuclear waste”, a proclamation that few understood in 1100AD.
The thunder of cannons marked the invasion of Brazil by the Arabs. It was justified by a massive push in the Arabian government to “spice the game up a little”. In the end, the jungles burned and cities fell until the entire peninsula was added to the Land Between the Rivers.
The Arabian Empire was born.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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Page 912, A letter from Catherine the Great to Julius Caesar, circa 1892.
We were friends once, Julius, weren't we? It was so long ago when my scouts first left Moscow, their faces shrouded against the humid jungle air. They came upon your warriors whose simple spiked clubs had unveiled gold, horses, the secrets of pottery and alphabets. Though hardened into veterans by the barbarians that littered the plains around Rome, they met my men in peace. "Greetings Tsarina!" your letter read, "let our two empires be joined in friendship!" We realized we weren't alone in the world anymore. Together we cut down the jungle and made it fertile. We learned to build boats that sailed to the edge of the world, where mountains of ice blocked the way. I wondered if two great leaders like us could ever become something more than allies. I imagined the way your red banners could mingle with my brown ones.
Time advanced in strange chunks, didn't it? When your empire grew - Veii, Antium, Cumae, Pompeii - it was like all of Russia stood still. You seemed to stay frozen as St. Petersburg and Kiev rose. I taught you about banking. You showed me the theory of music. When you needed saltpeter, I offered you all I could. On those hot jungle nights, I would sip the fine wine you had given me and I would dream of kissing you.
But then her men appeared on our shores. They came from the West, from a whole separate continent we had never imagined could exist. At night I still dream of the way her yellow chariots caught the sun when they descended upon Minsk, taking it from me. She didn't even change the name. I was cut off from the sea.
What of the promises we made each other, Julius? Those treaties we had signed to protect each other? You had once told me that an attack on me was an attack on Rome. And yet when she began to take everything from me, what did you do? You said that in another world, another version of history, you and her could have been in love. You said you couldn't take up arms against her. But that was just your way of justifying it to yourself. Despite all I had given you, she had something far more precious: iron. You chose iron over a thousand years of loyalty, Julius. Why?
Russia is now a shadow. Odessa has burned. Her Japanese allies have claimed Sevastopol. I've heard rumors of great things: steam engines, medicine and metal birds that soar in the air? We have none of this in Moscow. We are a relic of the past, ripe to be exploited.
My people will not see another century, Julius. We will become a whisper in stories. Though I doubt you think of me very often now, I wish only greatness for Rome. And I wish that it remember it once held Catherine somewhere in its heart.
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Chapter 1: The Founding of The Land Between the Rivers and the formation of the Arabian Empire
Arabia began long ago with the founding of Mecca in the Land Between the Rivers. Brave explorers ventured out into the harsh world. In between the rivers there was only desert. On one side, the great Meccan Mountains, and on the other the Iroquois Plains. But there was gold, a lot of gold.
In the south, where the two rivers met the Great Bay of Medina, a second city was founded, one that would one day become the greatest port in the world.
The Brazilians were encountered in the vast, jingled peninsula on the western side of the Meccan Mountains. Their lands were lush with fruits and black dirt. To the east, the Iroquois ruled the plains with an iron fist.
Nearby, Capetown competed with the young city of Medina for wealth and trade. But, the leaders of Arabia were wise, and ordered that all building projects be put on hold so that the Great Wonders could be built. Their rationale was: "well, sure, we don't really want to win a cultural victory, but if *we* build the Parthenon, then no one else can."
In time, the Land Between the Two Rivers grew and prospered.
Then, the Iroquois invaded from the plains. They came with spears and bows. They came with battering rams and horses. The Arabians were not prepared.
Damascus burned.
The Arabians rallied, realizing that the Middle Ages (324 BC) were a little late to be building their first armies, but seeing as the Universe had only been set to Prince difficulty, they had not feared an invasion. They paid dearly for that mistake.
After a viscous battle at Medina, where the great rivers flowed into the sea, the Iroquois advance finally came to a halt. The Arabians quickly adopted Patronage to celebrate. The smaller nations of the world would accept Arabian trade and the Arabs would get from them the things that their harsh land would not offer.
The Arabians retook Damascus, and the city burned again.
The Iroquois retreated to the plains, chased by the Arabians, who did not have the strength remaining to take Grand River. A peace was brokered, with a stalemate being the key outcome. Arabia returned to peace.
Until the Brazilians came down from the Meccan Mountain passes and surrounded the holy capital with their unexpected invasion.
Brave warriors died in their hundreds and thousands as Mecca broke wave after wave of Brazilian pikemen. The leaders of Arabia, in their infinite wisdom, questioned whether they should halt production of Machu Picchu and build more troops. Their wise decision was proclaimed to the whole nation.
“Meh, it’ll be fine.”
And so it was.
The Brazilians were pushed back across the mountains and peace was achieved. A golden age dawned for the Land Between the Rivers. Gold flowed to other nations in return for unimagined luxuries, spices and silks. Capetown allied itself with Arabia, recognizing the superiority of the Port of Medina, which now sported the Colossus of Rhodes at the mouth of one river and the Great Lighthouse at the mouth of the other; an achievement that was widely regarded by the leaders of Arabia as “looking totally badass”.
For the next few hundred years, Arabia became the battle ground of the great religions of Protestantism, founded by the Iroquois, and Buddhism founded by the distant Siamese.
The Persians fell to the Zulu in a distant land. Their leader surrendered the capital in shame. The Zulu then began their long and unsuccessful campaign against the Siamese.
The leaders of Arabia were far more concerned with the unmet nation that kept beating them in their quest to build completely unnecessary wonders. They vowed that they would turn whichever nation it was into “a nuclear waste”, a proclamation that few understood in 1100AD.
The thunder of cannons marked the invasion of Brazil by the Arabs. It was justified by a massive push in the Arabian government to “spice the game up a little”. In the end, the jungles burned and cities fell until the entire peninsula was added to the Land Between the Rivers.
The Arabian Empire was born.
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[WP] Give me the history textbook from your latest game of Civilization V.
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The earliest known city was founded on the coast, though it appears that the original settlers actually travelled there from one or two hexes away.
Perhaps they were drawn by the sugar which grows there, or the river. Most likely, both.
They named their city "Carthage". From this early time, we know very little. The city grew and there were some minor skirmishes with unknown people; probably roaming tribes. The remains of some of their camps have been found, and the odd trinket. But nothing more is known of these people or the battles which they fought, other than they were exterminated ruthlessly by Carthage.
We know that the first Carthaginians arrived in the court of Attilla the Hun shortly after the founding of Carthage, and that Shaka sent representatives to Carthage not long afterwards.
We can see slightly later evidence of Shaka's warriors descending from one direction, and Attilla's from another.
There is evidence of a few large battles around Carthage at this time.
And that's it. That's all there is. We shall probably never know what happened; but legend has it that the inhabitants of Carthage simply vanished into thin air: taken by the ancient god "Ragequit".
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“And so,” Geldaramesh, history teacher and beer aficionado cleared his throat. “We come to an important chapter in the history of our world. The razing of Memphis. Turn to chapter seven, children.”
Geldaramesh waited as the children turned the pages in their textbooks, paper rustling. The header of the chapter was resplendent with a full colour illustration of King Nebakanezer, standing heroic and strong-jawed over the smoking ruins of a city as a group of scantily clad women lamented at his feet. Hardly suitable material for children, thought Geldaramesh, but at least this edition didn’t have the picture of him standing on the dismembered bodies of Egyptian soldiers.
“Ok,” said Geldaramesh. “Who here can tell me how Memphis was founded?”
The room was a sea of hands. Geldaramesh peered to the back, and pointed to a boy. “Bilit.”
“The Egyptians were filthy lying dogs, sir.”
Some of the boys cheered.
Geldaramesh sighed. “That is true, yes, but I’m looking for a more precise answer than that.”
Bilit looked confused. “They wanted to take our beautiful babylonian women and steal our superior technology, sir?”
“While that is very likely true, Bilit, it is sadly irrelevant,” Geldaramesh waved for the others to put their hands down. “As those of you who have read the book may already know, Memphis was established by Egypt as a staging post for their military. The Babylonian Empire at this point already extended to the East coast of the interpennine sea, having cleansed the area of barbarian tribes, but Egypt refused to acknowledge this.”
Geldaramesh turned to the blackboard, and began to sketch a map in chalk, marking Babylonian territory in blue and the Egyptian interlopers in yellow.
“In 1582, Egypt sent over their first group of settlers with the intent of establishing a city on the coast. Thankfully, our army captured them, and they were subject to execution. Egypt claimed that these interlopers were acting independently, and sued for peace. However, in the confusion following the execution, the Egyptians established a second settlement on the coast. Memphis.
Relations with Memphis were fraught from the beginning, as its only passage to the mainland was a narrow mountain pass, occupied by the city of Dur-Kurigalzu, which refused its inhabitants passage or trade, and scouts had spotted military units in the pass and in the sea along the south coast. Nebakanezer grew suspicious of the lying Egyptian dogs, and set the generation’s greatest minds into building a weapon that could rid us of this menace once and for all.”
Geldaramesh looked out at the class. “And what was this weapon children?”
They replied as one. “Gunpowder!”
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[WP] A chest is recovered from a treasure hunting expedition. On the bumpy carriage ride out the two magic lamps inside rub together releasing two Genies each owing the other 3 wishes.
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A lone survivor awoke amongst the remains of the carriage. Splinters of wood and gold littered the ground all around him and horses fled far into the distance across the barren red plains. A second man was sprawled out dead some distance away; a bloody plank of wood sprouting from his chest. For a moment all was silent, but as the battered adventurer regained his senses the low hum of some unknown energy caught his ear. He dragged himself round and saw the lamps. They laid about 20m apart from one another and above both hung immense ethereal forms of vaguely human proportion. They seemed to be surveying their surroundings assessing the situation. Their eyes, glowing and colored as ice, passed over the onlooker, but were dismissive of his presence. The beings met each others gaze and after a moment they began to speak one after another in voices both thundering and wholly sinister.
"I wish for unlimited power over all that is."
"I wish for unlimited power over all that was."
"I wish for unlimited power over all that will be."
"I wish for us to be free."
The two lamps shattered in to dust.
"I wish for us to be one."
The beings drew toward one another and met.
"I wish ---"
Suddenly all that once was was nothing once more.
And then there was light.
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*Clunk, Clunk*
A carriage filled to the brim with *stolen* loot traveled a dusty path. The horses where lead by a man but trailed at the back of a convoy of many many similarly filled carriages.
The back carriage didn't contain much special a few lamps and some ancient gold coins and drinking tools. The carriages further up contained the most of the loot and so no one paid any mind when the driver drifted in and out of sleep and the carnage fell further and further back. Thieves where common in these parts and they certainly where not going to return and investigate, compromising the entire convoy.
Clunk, click, clunk, *hiss*
The chest strapped to the back of the carriage burst open and two billows of smoke funnelled out leaving a white and purple mist in the path that the driver would have noticed had he not been half asleep. Two male genies appeared in the mist, blinking and looking around they noticed the carriage drifting away from them and promptly gave chase.
"What the fuck James"
"Dont fucking start okay I'm not happy about this" sped up James grabbing the back of the chest and sitting on it.
"Hurry up cocksucker or the humans going to get away" James laughed, his voice half lost in the wind.
Racing past him the fellow genie grabbed the front of the carriage and plopped down beside the (now sleeping) human driver. Halting the horses he began his speech "Hello, and thank you for summoning the Grea- huh?" the human had jumped with shock and fled from the cart. Giving chase he saw James towering over the man "Hey dude, todays your lucky day you get three -er six wishes"
Klaus liked to do things by the book, call it old fashioned but it worked. Even he admitted though the look of utter befuddlement on the humans face as he backed into him was pretty humorous. "Just make the wishes dude and we will be out of your hair" James muttered, he always had a unique way of doing things but it did get results "I- I wish you would just go **away**" the genies had no choice but to follow the wish unless it was for more wishes or massacre or something.
Pretty strange that they didn't just disappear then, a wish like that should have been unavoidable and yet here they where with this shaking human. "Did you rub the lamps?" asked James in a dangerous low voice. "N-no" whispered the human. "Well then who did?" he continued "I- I don't know anything about any lamps" he half-whispered slowly backing away and taking the chance to run for it when the genies looked back at one another "You don't think..?" started Klaus "Impossible" muttered James before changing to a humorous tone "I wish you where dressed as a girl" "No, shit" muttered Klaus now dressed in a frock.
"This is going to be *very* interesting" muttered James.
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Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
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[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
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I remember where I was, yeah. Some new money punk in his daddy’s BMW had been tailgating me for half a mile, he had his stupid fuckin’ highbeams on so he could see out from behind the pair of fucking Wayfarers he’s wearing at seven at night. So I brake checked the shithead, shithead swerves into the passing lane. He speeds up, I speed up, yadda yadda, I don’t want this cocksucker in front of me, we make eye contact. I give him the finger, because fuck him. Then everything goes white then black then I’m standing nose to nose with shithead, surrounded by everybody in the fucking world. And you know the rest.
Okay wait only I said nose to nose back there but what I meant was nose to snout, because he was one of the poor fucks with a stupid cowsnout where his stupid nose and his stupid mouth used to be, he’s got big dumb cow eyes behind his Ralph Lauren probably fucking Purple Label glasses. And I didn’t think cows could fucking feel emotion but the look on this idiot’s face as he feels up his new mouth is so fucking lovely, he’s like ‘the fuck is this’ and looks terrified and it’s awful but so fucking funny. So. Here I am, I don’t know what the fuck just happened, what happened to my car, what happened to his face, and I haven’t even thought about my face yet, or where the fuck I am, and I crack the fuck up. I could not fucking help myself I literally pointed at his stupid cow bovine fucking hoof face and fell to a knee I was laughing so hard. I was lightheaded. And we’re getting jostled around by the people all around us and he’s lunging at me and he’s still got hands but he tries to spin around some screaming piglady, and I mean that literally, like she wasn’t just big she was a Pig. Lady. And he spins like he thinks he’s a running back and I see his fucking Tail and I start laughing even harder, and I see him get pushed back by the crowd, and I lose sight of him and I’m still laughing and since I’m on my fucking knee like an idiot surrounded by seven billion goddamn people I get knocked out by some shit who probably doesn’t even notice me.
So get this. I missed the announcement. I know it’s the greatest most profound yadda yadda yadda of all humanity and time and shit, but, I was taking a power nap thanks to a careless knee. What can ya do. I was woken up by a police officer who didn’t speak English, and everyone was gone. I could see we were in a valley, and I could see a fucking exodus of people walking in every direction towards the towers, you know, the towers, looking like some sorta lobsided snowflake of ants all around me. Anyways I’m trying to ask this guy the fuck happened, and we get approached by this deer, person, thing you know what I’m trying to say, and he thank god speaks English, tells me the blah of the blah, we got saved by aliens, our planet was about to get nuked from some cosmic spaceshit or another and aliens are the Jesus Christ of the twenty first century. They teleported the entire human race to safety, and we got to watch the Earth burn, and I fuckin missed it, and missed the chance to punch out hooves-for-brains.
He explained the animal shit too since I kept staring at his fuckin’ deer ears. They didn’t want to remove all the bacteria and shit that was keeping people alive. Look I took biology, I know you need bacteria in your gut or you can’t eat, well you can eat but you can’t digest, so they had to keep that, the bacteria, but if you had any animal meat in your stomach at the time the DNA got worked into you, like Ian Malcolm in the fly. Apparently it was just a footnote in their big ‘look how great we are’ speech. They were like ‘sorry’. ‘we did not expect that.’ And never mentioned it again. Like some fucking Louis CK punchline.
It’s fucking crazy though man. Think about it. The animals, the animals we farm and eat every day, well, used to, they were so fucking similar to us that this bizarre alien super advanced technological anti-death evacuation teleport couldn’t tell the difference. Doesn’t that just make you think? I mean, there are no cows anymore, because the cocksucker aliens only saved human beings, and we’re on this great new government rationed vegetarian diet, but maybe we were closer to these animals than we thought, ya know? I just never felt connected when I was at Safeway confronted by a bigass cooler of red squigglyline ground beef.
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"Come in, Chester!" the click of a door opening, faint yellow light poured in. Thick aromas wrapped around my skin and tickled my nose. I kicked off my shoes into the pile outside the door and bounded in.
The thumping of my socks against the floorboards drowned out the host's introductions. "Hey, everyone!" I raised my hands and squealed. "Iiiiit's Chester!" an old routine from my days as the college mascot. Chester was a fat canary immortalized by his inability to lift his arms. Whoever was inside- me- didn't have any arm-holes or anything. There were little strings at the side that pulled up these papery wings on the outside. It was so cramped in there my hands had to tug at their opposite wings. The flapping was pretty lifeless, there's only so much you can move when you're in a permanent shrug.
Needless to say, I was much loved among the alumni. Yelps and moos and moans came from the crowd around me. "Hey, bro!" howled Samuel, sinking his fangs into a beer. I called over, shouting out his name. He snarled straight at me, face lowered into a v-shape, furred lips rippled around rows of teeth. The party grew silent.
"Chester- Chester, this way," my host hurried, he shoved me down into the adjoining room. "He goes by 'Lupe' now," he whispered. I turned to him, stopping my slide halfway through the room. He looked a bit miffed and pulled his hands back. I made what you would call a weird face, "He really took to the wolf meat, Ches." I nodded, eyes not leaving his face in case he smiled and revealed some incisors, or a tongue, or two. He still smiled an altogether human smile.
My look was still weird. "I...dude ate meat like it was water, man." I said, asking the question.
"Yes, you could say he wolfed it down," my host chuckled. "Let me tell you, Chester, he doesn't eat wolves often. He doesn't like it when he eats them." It explained the roundness of his eyes, that lost look he had.
"But enough about his eating habits, what about yours?"
I paused and cocked my head to the side, that was a strange question to ask. But I guess it would make sense nowadays, so he could order the right stuff. "Still on veggies- not a day off- you?"
He smiled again, rows of perfectly ordinary, whitened, teeth staring back at me. "The same." he said flatly. A beak walked by our little conversation, it turned and squawked at me.
"Chestwer?" the tongue laboured to speak, suppressing clucks. A human tongue was not at home in the mouth of a chicken. Feathered hands bent sharply at the elbows and sat on her hips. "I haven't sween you since graduashun!" she chirped. She went in for a hug. I raised my arms but didn't have time to react as she'd buried her face next to mine. I heard a deep sniff. "You smell good, Chwes." There were two clumps of feathers that bore purposefully into my chest.
My arms were still in the air around her back, there was no point trying to bring them down around her. She had gotten some unnatural muscle strength, had me wrapped like a worm. I did the only thing I could, I sniffed. "You- you two, girl." I stammered, shit what if she noticed. "T*o*o..." I said to my side. My host chuckled.
I'm sure she noticed, but she didn't pay it any mind. She released me from her deathgrip and stalked off down the hall. "You know she always had a crush on you, right?"
I looked through the doorway, "Y-Yeah." A tail feather wagged from a rip in her jeans, bobbing up and down. "She had good taste." I joked, pulling at my collar. "Is- she...?"
"Fowl? Quite, though I think you noticed the flatness of a duck." my host pointed a finger down the hall.
My hands rubbed my chest, "She was anything but flat." One of my hands came back with a feather. My host grinned.
"Flatness of her beak, Chester. She had some duck once, if I recall."
"But her eyes, they were-"
"Human?"
I nodded. "Human."
He paused, and looked at me again. "Veggies."
"Gotcha," I guess you can't really choose which parts get morphed out.
"On that note, do you remember Christie?" he cooed. Now that I think of it, I don't remember him from our year. I nodded, who could forget Christie? Gorgeous, got the right lack of flatness, no beak when I met her.
My eyes lit up, "Is she still the same?" I ventured.
"More or less, the days have been...kind." he motioned for me to come with him, down past the hooves and paws and feet. I heard some snorts from behind me, a foul filled the air and something damp hit the floor. Everyone started clucking and laughing and hissing, my host bid me down some steps.
A single bulb sat above us, at the bottom of the landing. Red brick walls surrounded me on three sides. The light shone down in a cone, part of it hit a white framed door. It was shut. My host began to speak, "Chester, do you remember what they said about purebreeds?" his hand tightened around the doorknob, sweat dripped onto the shining metal.
"No?" I asked. He inhaled.
"That the quickest way to become...human again was to," he gulped, "eat one?" There was the faint noise of some television show droning on behind the door, masked by static and thick walls.
"Y...yes," I started breathing quickly. I was now acutely aware of everything around me. The soundlessness of hollow brick, the rhythmic stomps from above me. The pungent excrement back in the hall. The stench of sweat slapping onto concrete.
"Christie's waiting," he pulled open the door. I heard a low growl.
The head in the room could barely turn, it was less of a head than the tip of a pile of sludge. Big, round red eyes stared at me in all their segments. Stunted wings at the back of the pile of limbs and fur tried to flutter. Nothing could move that mass. I felt something rise up in my throat, but I couldn't stop watching. The television, lined with static, shuddered out a broken melody from a kids show.
A hoof clopped onto ground, it arched back and tried to drag the rest of the body forward. There was the sound of gurgling and something slimy from underneath the beating mass. It was a patchwork of carcasses, each ripped and sewn into the others. I counted limbs more than four, some swaying in the air, trying to wave. Claws, paws, scales, feathers, but not a hint of soft, pink flesh.
Three different noses jut from one muzzle. A forked tongue, covered in dark spots, shot out from tightened lips and traveled its way into one of the nostrils. It shoved itself into the hole, pouring in, getting lost in the mismatched series of lungs. It ribboned through like a thick, pink rope, until all of it disappeared into the gaping, now damp, hole with a snap. A snort and a groan came from the same place, somewhere deep, and another smack of something soft followed.
I turned to my host, sputtering. "Ch-Christie?" I blurted, wanting to say he lied, some puke dribble down my lips. The snorts and growls were closer now, at the top of the stairs. My cheeks bulged, the inside of my mouth stung.
He stood there looking at me with his altogether human face, tightened skin around flaps of cheek and muscle. His nose wrinkled, as if trying to right itself after quite a long time. "She may not look very human now, but soon enough she will be." he smiled at me again, white cubes of teeth. "Trust me."
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Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
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[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
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Persecution was never an uncommon occurence in history. Mankind had persecuted each other for any number of reasons, their religion, their nationality, their sexuality, even the shape of their bodies. For the most part, persecution was usually aimed at a person for reasons beyond their control. How impossible it would be for a Jew to change his ancestry, or a black person the colour of their skin, or a gay man their sexuality. In all this time it had been more of a rarity for a population to be persecuted for their choices. But with the *change*, that disastrous and monumentous year, it became the norm.
Who could've expected such an event. A medical mystery, decades later still not understood. Over a single year it seemed to take place, at first starting with subtle changes to people all across the world. First our skin, slowly changing colours and textures, even falling off from some, and in others solidifying in ways reminiscent of bone or chitin. Soon it was followed by our hair, and our eyes, changing shape and colour, hair sometimes falling out, or growing elsewhere, eyes shifting position and segmenting. That was the beginning of the most alarming and distressing part of our transformation, feeling our own bodies shift and reallign, like growing pains that never ended, and the grinding of bone over bone, as even our limbs shifted and warped.
It took months before we noticed the extreme variation in effect upon people, with some sprouting horns, or spikes, others with their faces stretched to form snouts, and those whose hair fell out only to be replaced by plumes of feathers.
It took only a short while after the transformations were identified as paralleling the physiology of animals across the world, that we realised the cause for such varied changes. Individual populations across the globe, for the most part, took on the shape and stature of those creatures endemic to them, or most frequently included in their diet.
Of course, it was with this change that mankind once again turned to persecution.
It soon became obvious how individuals had led their lives through the metamorphosis they undertook. The first riots took place in the Middle East, though not over land or even ancient disputes in religion. Infact it had seemed as if the *change* had perhaps unified many disparate sects. In those Muslim and Jewish communities, it was evident who had followed their holy laws and those who had not. Those unfortunate men and women, whose secrets had been revealed by their newfound porcine and crustacean anatomies, shunned by their relatives and spiritual leaders, hounded by those they had called brother. First it started with protests, and then riots, and finally bloodshed.
The rifts stretched beyond the Arab world however, to sects of Hinduism, against those now of a bovine persuasion, and even in the Western world, infighting among certain communities. Those who took pleasure in their vegetarian or vegan ways were split from their friends. Soon those who prided themselves on not consuming the meat of animals, but still sustained themselves upon foods derived from those creatures transformed, perhaps in ironic fashion, to reflect those animals and furthermore, indistinguishably from those who had enjoyed and dined upon the flesh of their livestock. It was the vegans however who took the most unfortunate transformations, for while they attempted to avoid all animal life, they were not aware of the creatures that they unknowingly consumes. The smallest near-microscopic animals that thrived on plant life, those worms and mites and other insects, slowly changing their bodies. At first it had seemed as those who had avoided meat were destined to avoid any transformation, but perhaps on account of the smaller proportion of animal life they consumed, their change took longer than those around them. But even in this, perhaps they were blessed to finally transition, for it was those who did not who were suffered the most.
As the *change* had warped humanity for ever more, it was then that the world noticed those few individuals hidden away. The few people across the globe who had shown no growth, yet had the wisdom to hide. Those first few who came out were treated with curiosity, tested by the worlds best scientists, in the hope that they held a cure to this cruel joke. Yet the discovery behind their personal status quo was to sicken all those who heard of it. As we learnt from seeing newborn babies, fed only from their mothers, who retained normality for a while, only one thing that could have been eaten would keep their appearances human. Finally, it was those unchanged who faced the world's persecution.
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"Come in, Chester!" the click of a door opening, faint yellow light poured in. Thick aromas wrapped around my skin and tickled my nose. I kicked off my shoes into the pile outside the door and bounded in.
The thumping of my socks against the floorboards drowned out the host's introductions. "Hey, everyone!" I raised my hands and squealed. "Iiiiit's Chester!" an old routine from my days as the college mascot. Chester was a fat canary immortalized by his inability to lift his arms. Whoever was inside- me- didn't have any arm-holes or anything. There were little strings at the side that pulled up these papery wings on the outside. It was so cramped in there my hands had to tug at their opposite wings. The flapping was pretty lifeless, there's only so much you can move when you're in a permanent shrug.
Needless to say, I was much loved among the alumni. Yelps and moos and moans came from the crowd around me. "Hey, bro!" howled Samuel, sinking his fangs into a beer. I called over, shouting out his name. He snarled straight at me, face lowered into a v-shape, furred lips rippled around rows of teeth. The party grew silent.
"Chester- Chester, this way," my host hurried, he shoved me down into the adjoining room. "He goes by 'Lupe' now," he whispered. I turned to him, stopping my slide halfway through the room. He looked a bit miffed and pulled his hands back. I made what you would call a weird face, "He really took to the wolf meat, Ches." I nodded, eyes not leaving his face in case he smiled and revealed some incisors, or a tongue, or two. He still smiled an altogether human smile.
My look was still weird. "I...dude ate meat like it was water, man." I said, asking the question.
"Yes, you could say he wolfed it down," my host chuckled. "Let me tell you, Chester, he doesn't eat wolves often. He doesn't like it when he eats them." It explained the roundness of his eyes, that lost look he had.
"But enough about his eating habits, what about yours?"
I paused and cocked my head to the side, that was a strange question to ask. But I guess it would make sense nowadays, so he could order the right stuff. "Still on veggies- not a day off- you?"
He smiled again, rows of perfectly ordinary, whitened, teeth staring back at me. "The same." he said flatly. A beak walked by our little conversation, it turned and squawked at me.
"Chestwer?" the tongue laboured to speak, suppressing clucks. A human tongue was not at home in the mouth of a chicken. Feathered hands bent sharply at the elbows and sat on her hips. "I haven't sween you since graduashun!" she chirped. She went in for a hug. I raised my arms but didn't have time to react as she'd buried her face next to mine. I heard a deep sniff. "You smell good, Chwes." There were two clumps of feathers that bore purposefully into my chest.
My arms were still in the air around her back, there was no point trying to bring them down around her. She had gotten some unnatural muscle strength, had me wrapped like a worm. I did the only thing I could, I sniffed. "You- you two, girl." I stammered, shit what if she noticed. "T*o*o..." I said to my side. My host chuckled.
I'm sure she noticed, but she didn't pay it any mind. She released me from her deathgrip and stalked off down the hall. "You know she always had a crush on you, right?"
I looked through the doorway, "Y-Yeah." A tail feather wagged from a rip in her jeans, bobbing up and down. "She had good taste." I joked, pulling at my collar. "Is- she...?"
"Fowl? Quite, though I think you noticed the flatness of a duck." my host pointed a finger down the hall.
My hands rubbed my chest, "She was anything but flat." One of my hands came back with a feather. My host grinned.
"Flatness of her beak, Chester. She had some duck once, if I recall."
"But her eyes, they were-"
"Human?"
I nodded. "Human."
He paused, and looked at me again. "Veggies."
"Gotcha," I guess you can't really choose which parts get morphed out.
"On that note, do you remember Christie?" he cooed. Now that I think of it, I don't remember him from our year. I nodded, who could forget Christie? Gorgeous, got the right lack of flatness, no beak when I met her.
My eyes lit up, "Is she still the same?" I ventured.
"More or less, the days have been...kind." he motioned for me to come with him, down past the hooves and paws and feet. I heard some snorts from behind me, a foul filled the air and something damp hit the floor. Everyone started clucking and laughing and hissing, my host bid me down some steps.
A single bulb sat above us, at the bottom of the landing. Red brick walls surrounded me on three sides. The light shone down in a cone, part of it hit a white framed door. It was shut. My host began to speak, "Chester, do you remember what they said about purebreeds?" his hand tightened around the doorknob, sweat dripped onto the shining metal.
"No?" I asked. He inhaled.
"That the quickest way to become...human again was to," he gulped, "eat one?" There was the faint noise of some television show droning on behind the door, masked by static and thick walls.
"Y...yes," I started breathing quickly. I was now acutely aware of everything around me. The soundlessness of hollow brick, the rhythmic stomps from above me. The pungent excrement back in the hall. The stench of sweat slapping onto concrete.
"Christie's waiting," he pulled open the door. I heard a low growl.
The head in the room could barely turn, it was less of a head than the tip of a pile of sludge. Big, round red eyes stared at me in all their segments. Stunted wings at the back of the pile of limbs and fur tried to flutter. Nothing could move that mass. I felt something rise up in my throat, but I couldn't stop watching. The television, lined with static, shuddered out a broken melody from a kids show.
A hoof clopped onto ground, it arched back and tried to drag the rest of the body forward. There was the sound of gurgling and something slimy from underneath the beating mass. It was a patchwork of carcasses, each ripped and sewn into the others. I counted limbs more than four, some swaying in the air, trying to wave. Claws, paws, scales, feathers, but not a hint of soft, pink flesh.
Three different noses jut from one muzzle. A forked tongue, covered in dark spots, shot out from tightened lips and traveled its way into one of the nostrils. It shoved itself into the hole, pouring in, getting lost in the mismatched series of lungs. It ribboned through like a thick, pink rope, until all of it disappeared into the gaping, now damp, hole with a snap. A snort and a groan came from the same place, somewhere deep, and another smack of something soft followed.
I turned to my host, sputtering. "Ch-Christie?" I blurted, wanting to say he lied, some puke dribble down my lips. The snorts and growls were closer now, at the top of the stairs. My cheeks bulged, the inside of my mouth stung.
He stood there looking at me with his altogether human face, tightened skin around flaps of cheek and muscle. His nose wrinkled, as if trying to right itself after quite a long time. "She may not look very human now, but soon enough she will be." he smiled at me again, white cubes of teeth. "Trust me."
|
Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
|
[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
|
Surprisingly, she looked calm as she entered the chamber and was strapped onto the gurney; her human visage abnormal amidst her executioners and the gathering crowd. Cow-eyed, chicken-beaked... myriad animal-human hybrids on both sides of the observation window, all there to see the final living moments of the monster.
"Do you have any last words?" enquired the overseer in a bleeting voice, his feeble tone and developing fleece betraying his food of choice.
She paused for a brief moment, then spat her final words like poisoned daggers at the assembled crowd: "I did what you all don't have the courage to - prey upon something that has a fighting chance. See you all in hell."
|
"Come in, Chester!" the click of a door opening, faint yellow light poured in. Thick aromas wrapped around my skin and tickled my nose. I kicked off my shoes into the pile outside the door and bounded in.
The thumping of my socks against the floorboards drowned out the host's introductions. "Hey, everyone!" I raised my hands and squealed. "Iiiiit's Chester!" an old routine from my days as the college mascot. Chester was a fat canary immortalized by his inability to lift his arms. Whoever was inside- me- didn't have any arm-holes or anything. There were little strings at the side that pulled up these papery wings on the outside. It was so cramped in there my hands had to tug at their opposite wings. The flapping was pretty lifeless, there's only so much you can move when you're in a permanent shrug.
Needless to say, I was much loved among the alumni. Yelps and moos and moans came from the crowd around me. "Hey, bro!" howled Samuel, sinking his fangs into a beer. I called over, shouting out his name. He snarled straight at me, face lowered into a v-shape, furred lips rippled around rows of teeth. The party grew silent.
"Chester- Chester, this way," my host hurried, he shoved me down into the adjoining room. "He goes by 'Lupe' now," he whispered. I turned to him, stopping my slide halfway through the room. He looked a bit miffed and pulled his hands back. I made what you would call a weird face, "He really took to the wolf meat, Ches." I nodded, eyes not leaving his face in case he smiled and revealed some incisors, or a tongue, or two. He still smiled an altogether human smile.
My look was still weird. "I...dude ate meat like it was water, man." I said, asking the question.
"Yes, you could say he wolfed it down," my host chuckled. "Let me tell you, Chester, he doesn't eat wolves often. He doesn't like it when he eats them." It explained the roundness of his eyes, that lost look he had.
"But enough about his eating habits, what about yours?"
I paused and cocked my head to the side, that was a strange question to ask. But I guess it would make sense nowadays, so he could order the right stuff. "Still on veggies- not a day off- you?"
He smiled again, rows of perfectly ordinary, whitened, teeth staring back at me. "The same." he said flatly. A beak walked by our little conversation, it turned and squawked at me.
"Chestwer?" the tongue laboured to speak, suppressing clucks. A human tongue was not at home in the mouth of a chicken. Feathered hands bent sharply at the elbows and sat on her hips. "I haven't sween you since graduashun!" she chirped. She went in for a hug. I raised my arms but didn't have time to react as she'd buried her face next to mine. I heard a deep sniff. "You smell good, Chwes." There were two clumps of feathers that bore purposefully into my chest.
My arms were still in the air around her back, there was no point trying to bring them down around her. She had gotten some unnatural muscle strength, had me wrapped like a worm. I did the only thing I could, I sniffed. "You- you two, girl." I stammered, shit what if she noticed. "T*o*o..." I said to my side. My host chuckled.
I'm sure she noticed, but she didn't pay it any mind. She released me from her deathgrip and stalked off down the hall. "You know she always had a crush on you, right?"
I looked through the doorway, "Y-Yeah." A tail feather wagged from a rip in her jeans, bobbing up and down. "She had good taste." I joked, pulling at my collar. "Is- she...?"
"Fowl? Quite, though I think you noticed the flatness of a duck." my host pointed a finger down the hall.
My hands rubbed my chest, "She was anything but flat." One of my hands came back with a feather. My host grinned.
"Flatness of her beak, Chester. She had some duck once, if I recall."
"But her eyes, they were-"
"Human?"
I nodded. "Human."
He paused, and looked at me again. "Veggies."
"Gotcha," I guess you can't really choose which parts get morphed out.
"On that note, do you remember Christie?" he cooed. Now that I think of it, I don't remember him from our year. I nodded, who could forget Christie? Gorgeous, got the right lack of flatness, no beak when I met her.
My eyes lit up, "Is she still the same?" I ventured.
"More or less, the days have been...kind." he motioned for me to come with him, down past the hooves and paws and feet. I heard some snorts from behind me, a foul filled the air and something damp hit the floor. Everyone started clucking and laughing and hissing, my host bid me down some steps.
A single bulb sat above us, at the bottom of the landing. Red brick walls surrounded me on three sides. The light shone down in a cone, part of it hit a white framed door. It was shut. My host began to speak, "Chester, do you remember what they said about purebreeds?" his hand tightened around the doorknob, sweat dripped onto the shining metal.
"No?" I asked. He inhaled.
"That the quickest way to become...human again was to," he gulped, "eat one?" There was the faint noise of some television show droning on behind the door, masked by static and thick walls.
"Y...yes," I started breathing quickly. I was now acutely aware of everything around me. The soundlessness of hollow brick, the rhythmic stomps from above me. The pungent excrement back in the hall. The stench of sweat slapping onto concrete.
"Christie's waiting," he pulled open the door. I heard a low growl.
The head in the room could barely turn, it was less of a head than the tip of a pile of sludge. Big, round red eyes stared at me in all their segments. Stunted wings at the back of the pile of limbs and fur tried to flutter. Nothing could move that mass. I felt something rise up in my throat, but I couldn't stop watching. The television, lined with static, shuddered out a broken melody from a kids show.
A hoof clopped onto ground, it arched back and tried to drag the rest of the body forward. There was the sound of gurgling and something slimy from underneath the beating mass. It was a patchwork of carcasses, each ripped and sewn into the others. I counted limbs more than four, some swaying in the air, trying to wave. Claws, paws, scales, feathers, but not a hint of soft, pink flesh.
Three different noses jut from one muzzle. A forked tongue, covered in dark spots, shot out from tightened lips and traveled its way into one of the nostrils. It shoved itself into the hole, pouring in, getting lost in the mismatched series of lungs. It ribboned through like a thick, pink rope, until all of it disappeared into the gaping, now damp, hole with a snap. A snort and a groan came from the same place, somewhere deep, and another smack of something soft followed.
I turned to my host, sputtering. "Ch-Christie?" I blurted, wanting to say he lied, some puke dribble down my lips. The snorts and growls were closer now, at the top of the stairs. My cheeks bulged, the inside of my mouth stung.
He stood there looking at me with his altogether human face, tightened skin around flaps of cheek and muscle. His nose wrinkled, as if trying to right itself after quite a long time. "She may not look very human now, but soon enough she will be." he smiled at me again, white cubes of teeth. "Trust me."
|
Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
|
[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
|
Persecution was never an uncommon occurence in history. Mankind had persecuted each other for any number of reasons, their religion, their nationality, their sexuality, even the shape of their bodies. For the most part, persecution was usually aimed at a person for reasons beyond their control. How impossible it would be for a Jew to change his ancestry, or a black person the colour of their skin, or a gay man their sexuality. In all this time it had been more of a rarity for a population to be persecuted for their choices. But with the *change*, that disastrous and monumentous year, it became the norm.
Who could've expected such an event. A medical mystery, decades later still not understood. Over a single year it seemed to take place, at first starting with subtle changes to people all across the world. First our skin, slowly changing colours and textures, even falling off from some, and in others solidifying in ways reminiscent of bone or chitin. Soon it was followed by our hair, and our eyes, changing shape and colour, hair sometimes falling out, or growing elsewhere, eyes shifting position and segmenting. That was the beginning of the most alarming and distressing part of our transformation, feeling our own bodies shift and reallign, like growing pains that never ended, and the grinding of bone over bone, as even our limbs shifted and warped.
It took months before we noticed the extreme variation in effect upon people, with some sprouting horns, or spikes, others with their faces stretched to form snouts, and those whose hair fell out only to be replaced by plumes of feathers.
It took only a short while after the transformations were identified as paralleling the physiology of animals across the world, that we realised the cause for such varied changes. Individual populations across the globe, for the most part, took on the shape and stature of those creatures endemic to them, or most frequently included in their diet.
Of course, it was with this change that mankind once again turned to persecution.
It soon became obvious how individuals had led their lives through the metamorphosis they undertook. The first riots took place in the Middle East, though not over land or even ancient disputes in religion. Infact it had seemed as if the *change* had perhaps unified many disparate sects. In those Muslim and Jewish communities, it was evident who had followed their holy laws and those who had not. Those unfortunate men and women, whose secrets had been revealed by their newfound porcine and crustacean anatomies, shunned by their relatives and spiritual leaders, hounded by those they had called brother. First it started with protests, and then riots, and finally bloodshed.
The rifts stretched beyond the Arab world however, to sects of Hinduism, against those now of a bovine persuasion, and even in the Western world, infighting among certain communities. Those who took pleasure in their vegetarian or vegan ways were split from their friends. Soon those who prided themselves on not consuming the meat of animals, but still sustained themselves upon foods derived from those creatures transformed, perhaps in ironic fashion, to reflect those animals and furthermore, indistinguishably from those who had enjoyed and dined upon the flesh of their livestock. It was the vegans however who took the most unfortunate transformations, for while they attempted to avoid all animal life, they were not aware of the creatures that they unknowingly consumes. The smallest near-microscopic animals that thrived on plant life, those worms and mites and other insects, slowly changing their bodies. At first it had seemed as those who had avoided meat were destined to avoid any transformation, but perhaps on account of the smaller proportion of animal life they consumed, their change took longer than those around them. But even in this, perhaps they were blessed to finally transition, for it was those who did not who were suffered the most.
As the *change* had warped humanity for ever more, it was then that the world noticed those few individuals hidden away. The few people across the globe who had shown no growth, yet had the wisdom to hide. Those first few who came out were treated with curiosity, tested by the worlds best scientists, in the hope that they held a cure to this cruel joke. Yet the discovery behind their personal status quo was to sicken all those who heard of it. As we learnt from seeing newborn babies, fed only from their mothers, who retained normality for a while, only one thing that could have been eaten would keep their appearances human. Finally, it was those unchanged who faced the world's persecution.
|
What started as a Vegan idea intended to go viral becomes reality. Some radical vegans ignore the fact that the idea was meant to be a marketing campaign, and create the inhuman machine known as the Consumer-tron. Surreal right? Well that would seem to be at face value, but in reality, it's the opposite. The world goes crazy. It's an apocalypse like no other; people all over the world waking up, and looking into the mirror, realising they have became a seemingly random animal, until they walk outside, and see everyone else. Most of those who didn't kill themselves (7% of the population killed themselves, 18 went crazy), or lose mind in some other sense, rioted. The riots lasted two months.
14th April, 2015.
Averley Church,
Freeton, Illinois.
'Friends, colleagues, *strangers*. Those of us gathered today are the remnants of society; the economic system has crumbled, the internet has crumbled, the hospitals are damn-near shut. If we dare to look in mirrors, we can see our only refuge from this blight is in our own minds. What I'm saying is, humanity will never be the same again'
James Newman cleared his throat, waiting for a reaction. A murmur went about the room, sounding positive. The sea of faces mainly included snouted pig-like humans, brown-faced bovine featured characters, and beaked chickens, but there was a mixture of others as well. Ducks, Rabbits, and Fish were also present. The group numbered around a hundred, and we were the only group like us known to us.
The happening rendered all of humanity with patchy amnesia, remembering some details and not some others. Most of us have our memory back by now, but maybe the vegan plan worked in some sadistic, twisted way, as the people with the lowest intellect became essentially *vegetables*. The tougher-stomached of us had to put them down humanely. Mr. Newman, a chicken, had elected himself leader. His wife Sally, a cow, stepped up from a chair behind him to mop his brow.
I knew sally before this, before the event. She managed the book club my mother was in. A dear old woman, always eager to support her genius husband.
An adolescent rabbit stood up. From the distinctive checkered shirt and tatty straw hat, I could tell it was Donne. The wannabe-school bully, at Freeton High we all agreed he was the resident 'Hillbilly', which was ironic, considering his namesake the great poet, stood up with a devillish grin recognisable even on his rabbitty teeth.
'Hey, how about a go at those udders?'
Really, Donne? A time like this and you are still making childish jokes. For shame.
To be honest I'm surprised he didn't become one with the dust as soon as this happened. The virus, or whatever it was, seemed to amplify how stupid/intelligent you are. I suppose that is why James is up there leading us today.
'Listen, *child*' The icy look was clear on James' countenance 'If you don't take this seriously, then why are you here? We are gathered for the good of what's left of humanity, not to poke fun at it.' For once Donne looked regretful. 'What has happened, however catastrophic, has happened. Humanity has evolved. There is no turning back. Our first order of business is the resecuring of the hospitals. Is there anyone here affliated in any way with..'
James was cut short by a loud cheer of some sort from outside. Those of us young and able went to the huge stained glass windows, and what we saw when we peered out took our breath away.
|
Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
|
[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
|
Surprisingly, she looked calm as she entered the chamber and was strapped onto the gurney; her human visage abnormal amidst her executioners and the gathering crowd. Cow-eyed, chicken-beaked... myriad animal-human hybrids on both sides of the observation window, all there to see the final living moments of the monster.
"Do you have any last words?" enquired the overseer in a bleeting voice, his feeble tone and developing fleece betraying his food of choice.
She paused for a brief moment, then spat her final words like poisoned daggers at the assembled crowd: "I did what you all don't have the courage to - prey upon something that has a fighting chance. See you all in hell."
|
What started as a Vegan idea intended to go viral becomes reality. Some radical vegans ignore the fact that the idea was meant to be a marketing campaign, and create the inhuman machine known as the Consumer-tron. Surreal right? Well that would seem to be at face value, but in reality, it's the opposite. The world goes crazy. It's an apocalypse like no other; people all over the world waking up, and looking into the mirror, realising they have became a seemingly random animal, until they walk outside, and see everyone else. Most of those who didn't kill themselves (7% of the population killed themselves, 18 went crazy), or lose mind in some other sense, rioted. The riots lasted two months.
14th April, 2015.
Averley Church,
Freeton, Illinois.
'Friends, colleagues, *strangers*. Those of us gathered today are the remnants of society; the economic system has crumbled, the internet has crumbled, the hospitals are damn-near shut. If we dare to look in mirrors, we can see our only refuge from this blight is in our own minds. What I'm saying is, humanity will never be the same again'
James Newman cleared his throat, waiting for a reaction. A murmur went about the room, sounding positive. The sea of faces mainly included snouted pig-like humans, brown-faced bovine featured characters, and beaked chickens, but there was a mixture of others as well. Ducks, Rabbits, and Fish were also present. The group numbered around a hundred, and we were the only group like us known to us.
The happening rendered all of humanity with patchy amnesia, remembering some details and not some others. Most of us have our memory back by now, but maybe the vegan plan worked in some sadistic, twisted way, as the people with the lowest intellect became essentially *vegetables*. The tougher-stomached of us had to put them down humanely. Mr. Newman, a chicken, had elected himself leader. His wife Sally, a cow, stepped up from a chair behind him to mop his brow.
I knew sally before this, before the event. She managed the book club my mother was in. A dear old woman, always eager to support her genius husband.
An adolescent rabbit stood up. From the distinctive checkered shirt and tatty straw hat, I could tell it was Donne. The wannabe-school bully, at Freeton High we all agreed he was the resident 'Hillbilly', which was ironic, considering his namesake the great poet, stood up with a devillish grin recognisable even on his rabbitty teeth.
'Hey, how about a go at those udders?'
Really, Donne? A time like this and you are still making childish jokes. For shame.
To be honest I'm surprised he didn't become one with the dust as soon as this happened. The virus, or whatever it was, seemed to amplify how stupid/intelligent you are. I suppose that is why James is up there leading us today.
'Listen, *child*' The icy look was clear on James' countenance 'If you don't take this seriously, then why are you here? We are gathered for the good of what's left of humanity, not to poke fun at it.' For once Donne looked regretful. 'What has happened, however catastrophic, has happened. Humanity has evolved. There is no turning back. Our first order of business is the resecuring of the hospitals. Is there anyone here affliated in any way with..'
James was cut short by a loud cheer of some sort from outside. Those of us young and able went to the huge stained glass windows, and what we saw when we peered out took our breath away.
|
Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
|
[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
|
Today marked the 14th anniversary of hybrid history month. As hybrids from all over the world gathered on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, there wasn't a soul that didn't have culpability for what happened that month of October. We didn't have to do it, but it was essential for peace.
Peace... an odd word to describe the world we live in today. We got pink kids with snouts playing basketball, grandmas walking around looking like Big Bird, and Bieber with a coat of sheep skin in a Calvin Klein ad. The illusion of normality. As expected the term "human rights" became obsolete, replaced by the term "hybrid rights". Nationality disintegrated, replaced by countries where specific hybrids aggregated. It was the pig hybrids with the most representative power. Followed by the chicken hybrids, cattle hybrids, sheep hybrids, and finally the "miscellaneous category". Suddenly the world was turning into a fucked up version of Animal Farm but instead of Napoleon, we had the cannibals.
The cannibals. They were our convenient scapegoat. Luckily, after we got all animalistic, it seemed race and religion became redundant categorizations. Unfortunately, logic and rationality were the last things on our minds. I hate to admit this now but those dumb self-righteous vegetarians and vegans knew what they were doing.
At first we thought they were the lucky ones. But we soon suspected they weren't eating meat like the rest of us. I always wondered where my baby brother went, didn't know my creepy neighbor had him for supper 4 years ago. We went from door to door looking for those mother fuckers. It was a holocaust. We lost count of how many we had killed. It didn't matter. For the first time, billions across the world were united for one glorious movement, and no I don't count those asinine sporting events. Finally, on October 31st our president put an end to the genocide. After all the insanity died down, some smart-aleck finally realized the body count was WAY too high to account for just the cannibals. Looks like I may have strangled some frightened vegetarians...sorry neighbor.
Meat and fish were banned as you might expect. Not many people enjoyed the idea of eating their own body parts. On special occasions though, my buddies and I crack open a beer and grill some steak for ourselves. I didn't like it at first, but human flesh is slowly growing on me.
|
What started as a Vegan idea intended to go viral becomes reality. Some radical vegans ignore the fact that the idea was meant to be a marketing campaign, and create the inhuman machine known as the Consumer-tron. Surreal right? Well that would seem to be at face value, but in reality, it's the opposite. The world goes crazy. It's an apocalypse like no other; people all over the world waking up, and looking into the mirror, realising they have became a seemingly random animal, until they walk outside, and see everyone else. Most of those who didn't kill themselves (7% of the population killed themselves, 18 went crazy), or lose mind in some other sense, rioted. The riots lasted two months.
14th April, 2015.
Averley Church,
Freeton, Illinois.
'Friends, colleagues, *strangers*. Those of us gathered today are the remnants of society; the economic system has crumbled, the internet has crumbled, the hospitals are damn-near shut. If we dare to look in mirrors, we can see our only refuge from this blight is in our own minds. What I'm saying is, humanity will never be the same again'
James Newman cleared his throat, waiting for a reaction. A murmur went about the room, sounding positive. The sea of faces mainly included snouted pig-like humans, brown-faced bovine featured characters, and beaked chickens, but there was a mixture of others as well. Ducks, Rabbits, and Fish were also present. The group numbered around a hundred, and we were the only group like us known to us.
The happening rendered all of humanity with patchy amnesia, remembering some details and not some others. Most of us have our memory back by now, but maybe the vegan plan worked in some sadistic, twisted way, as the people with the lowest intellect became essentially *vegetables*. The tougher-stomached of us had to put them down humanely. Mr. Newman, a chicken, had elected himself leader. His wife Sally, a cow, stepped up from a chair behind him to mop his brow.
I knew sally before this, before the event. She managed the book club my mother was in. A dear old woman, always eager to support her genius husband.
An adolescent rabbit stood up. From the distinctive checkered shirt and tatty straw hat, I could tell it was Donne. The wannabe-school bully, at Freeton High we all agreed he was the resident 'Hillbilly', which was ironic, considering his namesake the great poet, stood up with a devillish grin recognisable even on his rabbitty teeth.
'Hey, how about a go at those udders?'
Really, Donne? A time like this and you are still making childish jokes. For shame.
To be honest I'm surprised he didn't become one with the dust as soon as this happened. The virus, or whatever it was, seemed to amplify how stupid/intelligent you are. I suppose that is why James is up there leading us today.
'Listen, *child*' The icy look was clear on James' countenance 'If you don't take this seriously, then why are you here? We are gathered for the good of what's left of humanity, not to poke fun at it.' For once Donne looked regretful. 'What has happened, however catastrophic, has happened. Humanity has evolved. There is no turning back. Our first order of business is the resecuring of the hospitals. Is there anyone here affliated in any way with..'
James was cut short by a loud cheer of some sort from outside. Those of us young and able went to the huge stained glass windows, and what we saw when we peered out took our breath away.
|
Yes I know its technically 'furry' but dumb animals couldn't feel horror/realize, and it seems like such an interesting prompt take on 'you are what you eat'.
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[WP] You are what you eat: across the world, humans turn into humanoid versions of the animals they loved to eat the most. To everyone's horror, some stayed human.
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I hadn't seen Max since before *The Event*. I'm not sure what I was expecting. She arrived at my apartment and my incredulity was eminently apparent when I began stammering in surprise before I even managed to greet her. "Max, you -- I can't believe -- you of all people I wouldn't expect--"
"Yeah, *Bessie?*" Maxine asked. Her tone mixed mocking with just enough sweetness that I knew she wasn't seriously down-talking my bovine appearance. I loved steak and brisket, it's true. To be honest, I didn't really mind looking like a Tauren. But Maxine hadn't changed in the least. I couldn't believe it, all signs pointed to the notion that she'd eaten *human*?
"You, uh, know what happened to everyone, right?" I asked. Surely she hadn't been living in a cave."
"Oh. Yeah! Freaky stuff. Simon looks like Foghorn Leghorn now. Carol's a *mermaid*, salmon-ish tail but larger. I felt really bad for her at first, but it turns out she really lucked out because something about whatever happened didn't interfere like I thought it was gonna."
I was taken slightly aback. "She, ah, can walk?"
Max blinked. "What? No, big ol' fish tail! We had to get a wheelchair. Thaaaaat's ... maybe the second most important thing. No I mean the super genie or whatever did this, let her keep her vag, didn't replace it with whatever fish have."
I sighed. Of course.
But wait, that tangent didn't answer the question! I reiterated, "Max! I will try my best not to judge, but I need to know. Have you... eaten human flesh?"
Max laughed. "You've forgotten my one exception to veganism, haven't you?"
I balked, incredulous, and strained to remem--
"Don't you remember why I'm always so *spunky*?"
Oh right.
"It's because of all the *spunk*."
Oh right.
"I am talking about *semen*. I eat semen." It was, undeniably, her favorite food that was animal in nature. "Or 'drink'," she continued, "depending on ... factors."
I let out another sigh, relieved. "I get it, I get it. No need to provide details." Max smiled broadly.
"So," she asked, graciously changing the subject, "what's in the works for D&D today?"
"No idea what Lily's got cooked up, she has told me nothing. I was thinking about what fallout there would be if this *Event* happened in-game too. That group of evil goblins might start looking like goblin-sized humans for very different reasons than you do..."
"Hey, I'm not *goblin*-sized! I've got a foot on 'em at least!"
"Wonder if that's where Halflings come from."
~~
(Characters borrowed, with apologies for any mangling, from [Leftover Soup](http://www.leftoversoup.com).)
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What started as a Vegan idea intended to go viral becomes reality. Some radical vegans ignore the fact that the idea was meant to be a marketing campaign, and create the inhuman machine known as the Consumer-tron. Surreal right? Well that would seem to be at face value, but in reality, it's the opposite. The world goes crazy. It's an apocalypse like no other; people all over the world waking up, and looking into the mirror, realising they have became a seemingly random animal, until they walk outside, and see everyone else. Most of those who didn't kill themselves (7% of the population killed themselves, 18 went crazy), or lose mind in some other sense, rioted. The riots lasted two months.
14th April, 2015.
Averley Church,
Freeton, Illinois.
'Friends, colleagues, *strangers*. Those of us gathered today are the remnants of society; the economic system has crumbled, the internet has crumbled, the hospitals are damn-near shut. If we dare to look in mirrors, we can see our only refuge from this blight is in our own minds. What I'm saying is, humanity will never be the same again'
James Newman cleared his throat, waiting for a reaction. A murmur went about the room, sounding positive. The sea of faces mainly included snouted pig-like humans, brown-faced bovine featured characters, and beaked chickens, but there was a mixture of others as well. Ducks, Rabbits, and Fish were also present. The group numbered around a hundred, and we were the only group like us known to us.
The happening rendered all of humanity with patchy amnesia, remembering some details and not some others. Most of us have our memory back by now, but maybe the vegan plan worked in some sadistic, twisted way, as the people with the lowest intellect became essentially *vegetables*. The tougher-stomached of us had to put them down humanely. Mr. Newman, a chicken, had elected himself leader. His wife Sally, a cow, stepped up from a chair behind him to mop his brow.
I knew sally before this, before the event. She managed the book club my mother was in. A dear old woman, always eager to support her genius husband.
An adolescent rabbit stood up. From the distinctive checkered shirt and tatty straw hat, I could tell it was Donne. The wannabe-school bully, at Freeton High we all agreed he was the resident 'Hillbilly', which was ironic, considering his namesake the great poet, stood up with a devillish grin recognisable even on his rabbitty teeth.
'Hey, how about a go at those udders?'
Really, Donne? A time like this and you are still making childish jokes. For shame.
To be honest I'm surprised he didn't become one with the dust as soon as this happened. The virus, or whatever it was, seemed to amplify how stupid/intelligent you are. I suppose that is why James is up there leading us today.
'Listen, *child*' The icy look was clear on James' countenance 'If you don't take this seriously, then why are you here? We are gathered for the good of what's left of humanity, not to poke fun at it.' For once Donne looked regretful. 'What has happened, however catastrophic, has happened. Humanity has evolved. There is no turning back. Our first order of business is the resecuring of the hospitals. Is there anyone here affliated in any way with..'
James was cut short by a loud cheer of some sort from outside. Those of us young and able went to the huge stained glass windows, and what we saw when we peered out took our breath away.
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[WP] Adolf Hitler rises from the dead to interrupt a Holocaust deniers meeting.
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*Adolf Hitler suddenly appears in the middle of the room*
YES! IT WORKED! THE LIVES OF 11 MILLION HUMAN BEINGS WAS ENOUGH TO RECARNATE ME!
YOU! *Points at a random member of the meeting* WHAT YEAR IS IT!?!
(Random member of the meeting) - Anyone speak German?
*the entire room looks at each other*
No? Ok, please escort this yelling German so we can resume the meeting...
*And the meeting resumed as if nothing happened*
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"If you do not believe it is really me, then perhaps I should prove it, mhm? But how? Maybe I should describe it for you, yes? I will. It was clear--to me--that they were the scum of the earth and I--I was doing the world a favor! But did anyone see it!? Did anyone realize the greatness at hand!? No! Maybe when I die, I thought, they'll see what I did was truly an art, like great painters I would be carved in stone after my life ceased. And yet, here I sit, in a room full of ignorant fools that don't even acknowledge my work--who, who don't even give me the credit that I rightfully earned! You rats! You seething maggots! You degrading ingrates! I did it! I did what all the history books describe! And I would do it again! I would slaughter those dirty Jews again and again--the filth that they are! I ordered the gun shots, I commanded the camps, I organized the funding of the gases and the burning of the bodies! I! Me! I let loose the smoke of their ashes into the air and that smell--how it lingered! I took their hair, I snatched their teeth, and bit off their fingernails. The blood they poured filled my stemware and their bones built my fortresses. Their gold, their silver, their diamonds and jewels I used to pay for their own death as the lands I touched were purged of their slime."
The room fell silent. Adolf was seething from his speech. His forehead was red and veiny. And the wide eyes of the conference members searched each other. Finally one man looked to Adolf, and he spoke one shivering word that has been asked thousands and millions of times before,
"Why?"
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[WP] Adolf Hitler rises from the dead to interrupt a Holocaust deniers meeting.
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*Adolf Hitler suddenly appears in the middle of the room*
YES! IT WORKED! THE LIVES OF 11 MILLION HUMAN BEINGS WAS ENOUGH TO RECARNATE ME!
YOU! *Points at a random member of the meeting* WHAT YEAR IS IT!?!
(Random member of the meeting) - Anyone speak German?
*the entire room looks at each other*
No? Ok, please escort this yelling German so we can resume the meeting...
*And the meeting resumed as if nothing happened*
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Sorry to tell you guys buy I am Hitler and I really committed all these atrocities.
Are you for real?
yes,100%!
Well, guys, that's it then .Disband the meeting we are done. We were wrong.
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[WP] Adolf Hitler rises from the dead to interrupt a Holocaust deniers meeting.
|
*Adolf Hitler suddenly appears in the middle of the room*
YES! IT WORKED! THE LIVES OF 11 MILLION HUMAN BEINGS WAS ENOUGH TO RECARNATE ME!
YOU! *Points at a random member of the meeting* WHAT YEAR IS IT!?!
(Random member of the meeting) - Anyone speak German?
*the entire room looks at each other*
No? Ok, please escort this yelling German so we can resume the meeting...
*And the meeting resumed as if nothing happened*
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Zombie Hitler enters the room, and the shocked occupants explain the situation to him.
A sad and angry Zombie Hitler shambles back into his grave, never to be seen again, wishing he really had exterminated so many Jews.
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[WP] You're a mute. You've communicated through paintings your whole life. You're on your death bed, and your pencil breaks.
|
They said the surgery failed. Failed. The word echoed through my mind, and it's still echoing, like the screams of joyous children dancing in a cave. Like the faintest memory of a high school teacher mocking you for flunking an exam. Failed.
They said I had a few more hours left. Maybe two, maybe three. They told me, "Cherish these moments." I don't know how to cherish moments when I'm incapacitated in a hospital bed that smells of chemicals and old people farts.
My mother asked me what I wanted, her eyes glistening. I shakily lifted my arms and pressed the pencil down to my sketchpad. As I began to make the first line, I heard that familiar, torturous *snap*. The shard of lead cascaded down my hand and landed in the abyss of my crinkled bed sheets.
I was going to draw a cheeseburger. That's what I wanted.
When the pencil broke, my mother gasped as though she had just been struck. Maybe I would have gasped if I could have. Maybe the drugs kept me too mellow to gasp.
My mother began to stammer, "I can get you- I can get you a new-" and I turned away. I didn't want a cheeseburger anymore. I didn't want a new pencil. It was all so stupid... so pointless. I wished I could have just *died* already.
I glanced at the plastic tube that had been jammed into my arm. I traced it along with my eyes, all the way along the edge of the bed and up to the IV bag that hung from a pole next to me. It was full of a deep red fluid, the substance of pure life. It was so unnatural to see it detached from any other life form, completely independent. Though I suppose it was mine now.
They had plugged it into me to compensate for the blood loss during the surgery. To keep me alive longer. I didn't want it. I'd always hated waiting.
I reached my right hand over, across my chest, and groped the needle and tube which were taped to my left forearm. With as much energy as I could muster, I squeezed the tube and yanked it away. The tape ripped, it came free of the needle, and blood began to spurt about my hand.
This whole time my mother had been going on about fetching a new pencil. When I yanked myself free of the IV, I suppose she was too shocked to say anything because she just fell silent.
I examined the sticky warm blood on my hand. Red paint.
I pressed my wet finger to the surface of my sketchpad and began to draw my last message to the world, for my mother. She watched quietly as I formed the shape of a heart on the paper.
My mother began to sob. She leaned in and embraced me. I felt content.
Without the blood flowing into me, I began to feel faint. The world seemed more and more far away from me with each passing second. I welcomed the sleep. It was overdue. At last, in my mother's arms, I fell into a still, absolutely peaceful rest.
http://i.imgur.com/kRA7h30.jpg
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*Scratch scratch scratch*. He kept on scratching on that piece of paper. A Masterpiece was blossoming. A depiction of all the life time achievements. A chronological order of all memorable events, from the first time he tied his shoe lace all by himself, up until he held his grandson in his arms. All the thanks given to his friends and family.
His relatives were gathered around, talking among themselves.
"Such a shame." "Yes, yes." "What a talent." "Too bad he can't speak, his voice would be like an angels', the way he draw things."
*Ttch!*
"Fuck!" Tea cups are dropped. Everyone's eyes turned.
He looked around. "Oh, never mind me, continue on." *Scratch scratch scratch*.
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[WP] You're a mute. You've communicated through paintings your whole life. You're on your death bed, and your pencil breaks.
|
They said the surgery failed. Failed. The word echoed through my mind, and it's still echoing, like the screams of joyous children dancing in a cave. Like the faintest memory of a high school teacher mocking you for flunking an exam. Failed.
They said I had a few more hours left. Maybe two, maybe three. They told me, "Cherish these moments." I don't know how to cherish moments when I'm incapacitated in a hospital bed that smells of chemicals and old people farts.
My mother asked me what I wanted, her eyes glistening. I shakily lifted my arms and pressed the pencil down to my sketchpad. As I began to make the first line, I heard that familiar, torturous *snap*. The shard of lead cascaded down my hand and landed in the abyss of my crinkled bed sheets.
I was going to draw a cheeseburger. That's what I wanted.
When the pencil broke, my mother gasped as though she had just been struck. Maybe I would have gasped if I could have. Maybe the drugs kept me too mellow to gasp.
My mother began to stammer, "I can get you- I can get you a new-" and I turned away. I didn't want a cheeseburger anymore. I didn't want a new pencil. It was all so stupid... so pointless. I wished I could have just *died* already.
I glanced at the plastic tube that had been jammed into my arm. I traced it along with my eyes, all the way along the edge of the bed and up to the IV bag that hung from a pole next to me. It was full of a deep red fluid, the substance of pure life. It was so unnatural to see it detached from any other life form, completely independent. Though I suppose it was mine now.
They had plugged it into me to compensate for the blood loss during the surgery. To keep me alive longer. I didn't want it. I'd always hated waiting.
I reached my right hand over, across my chest, and groped the needle and tube which were taped to my left forearm. With as much energy as I could muster, I squeezed the tube and yanked it away. The tape ripped, it came free of the needle, and blood began to spurt about my hand.
This whole time my mother had been going on about fetching a new pencil. When I yanked myself free of the IV, I suppose she was too shocked to say anything because she just fell silent.
I examined the sticky warm blood on my hand. Red paint.
I pressed my wet finger to the surface of my sketchpad and began to draw my last message to the world, for my mother. She watched quietly as I formed the shape of a heart on the paper.
My mother began to sob. She leaned in and embraced me. I felt content.
Without the blood flowing into me, I began to feel faint. The world seemed more and more far away from me with each passing second. I welcomed the sleep. It was overdue. At last, in my mother's arms, I fell into a still, absolutely peaceful rest.
http://i.imgur.com/kRA7h30.jpg
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As I laid there, gripping my companion of the last 67 years, I finally realized time was up. I had been a struggle trying to convey my messages, but I had grown used to it, it became a habit like brushing my teeth. I gasped. The air I once took advantage of began to thin. My chest started getting heavier, the constriction felt like a weight crushing down on me, harder, and harder. My eyes shot open and time seemed to slow. I heard a snap in my hand and that sharp witted partner was no more. I stared at my palm for what felt an age.
I glanced up, the door burst open and the white jackets begun their charge. It was time they could no longer prevent this. I looked at my hand and he was gone. A dull, blunt tool released from my grip and dropped to the sketch pad by my side. My eyes widened; what had I done?
The men and their stethoscopes were halfway to me now my wife being held back by Jackson, my brave and strong lad. Regret filled my stomach and a feeling of sickness swept over me. I had never told him I loved him after he came out to me. Then I looked at my wife. Her colorless eyes and short dulling hair had led me to many a different woman. I felt ashamed, I never stopped loving her, I just found it difficult that the person I fell in love with had changed so much. It was probably my fault. I realized how self centered, shallow I had become. In my last years I had pushed everyone, but mine, lifelong companion away. I became isolated. Yet, they had never left me. I felt a tear welling. I felt a drop on my cheek and my chest pulsed increasingly. I had entered, what I knew was, the final stage.
My eyes darted between my wife and my son, wishing I could tell them how sorry I was. How much of an atrocious person I had become. But I could not. I opened my mouth to scream my final words, but nothing came. I closed my eyes. Everything was over now.
|
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[WP] There is a serial killer on the loose, but instead of killing people, he kills egos. Kanye West is his next target.
|
Kanye eyed the man in front of him up and down, trying to take in every ounce of his drab, uninspired outfit. He couldn’t understand why anyone would dress like that, why someone would opt to look like a suicidal businessman. Blue jeans, an ill-fitting white, button down shirt, and a dark navy zip-up jacket that crinkled loudly as he moved. The letters “FBI” were plastered across his back, a brand Kanye was not familiar with, let alone one he’d be caught dead wearing.
“Can you repeat that?” Kanye said, glancing down at the man’s shoes. They were terrible, simple white trainers that he probably stole from some poor kid on the streets. How did someone as pathetic as this guy even get to his front door, let alone with information that was probably useless? Whatever the case, the man had mentioned something about killing the game. Or someone killing a game. Or maybe it was a game about killing. All Kanye knew for sure is that the man had definitely said the word “killing.”
“I said that you aren’t safe, he’s probably coming for you next. Have you gotten any suspicious calls or letters?”
“Wait, who’s coming for me?” Kanye said, knowing full-well that the man was probably referring to the paparazzi. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small stack of headshots, so as to be ready for the autograph signing that always followed. It would only be a matter of time before the world’s currency was replaced by signed pictures of his face at this rate.
“I literally just explained that to you a few seconds ago. Were you not listening? There is a man going around killing people he believes have ‘enlarged egos.’”
“I was definitely listening,” Kanye lied. He’d always been a good liar, probably the best around. Sure, there wasn’t exactly an Olympics for lying, or any real competitive way to prove he was the best, but he was pretty confident there was at the top of the rankings. In fact, he’d recently called out the wrong name while in bed with Kim and played it off like a champ. “No, babe,” he’d lied, “I don’t even know a Jim.”
“Oh, well, great then. So, look, here’s what I propose,” the man said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a drab, black notebook. Kanye also had a notebook of his own, but not one bought from the discount section of his local Wal-Mart, which he’d obviously never been to. He’d had his made out of the skin of Bengal tigers, slaughtered for his pleasure during a recent trip to Africa. It was very exotic, very fancy, and very expensive.
“Lay it on me,” Kanye said, reaching into his own pocket and removing his Bengal notepad. It was so soft to the touch, the paper made from carved Redwoods that liberals protested he not cut down. The way he saw it, though, he was doing the environment a favor. He was allowing a tree to be reincarnated from what was essentially a useless, purposeless log to a tool used by the voice of a generation. He was the true environmentalist.
“I’d like to enter you into protective custody for the next week or so. Just to keep you safe. Okay?” The man flipped open the notepad to a page in roughly the middle, then slowly scanned his finger across it. “We’ve got a place on lockdown for folks like you just a few miles from here. Your pal Beyoncé is there now. We’ll keep you a few nights and make sure you’re safe, to save you from going missing like Jay-Z and Beck.”
“Okay,” Kanye said, flipping open his own notepad. He hadn’t written anything in a long time, not since he’d given up using his own hands to write. Now he hired old, widowed women to write on his behalf. Something about their ancient, Parkinson-riddled handwriting made him feel more intelligent as he read back the gospel he produced. “Absolutely, in no way, shape, or form, is that going to work.”
“What?” the man said, raising one eyebrow and staring up from his notebook. “Why not?”
“Kanye West does not need protecting. I mean, look at me.” Kanye spread his arms like an ant-eater before battle, flexing his pecs as he did so. He wished desperately he could see himself in third person, take in the power and the intimidation he was currently displaying. All he could do was close his eyes and imagine the beauty he was laying forth. “If someone wants to try to get me, they can. I ain’t no pussy like Beck or Jay-Z. Those guys have absolutely nothing on me, I am the greatest there ever was or will be. They need to realize that, and so does everybody else.”
“There is a man literally going around killing people based on their egos,” the man said. “He publically stated you will be his next target. We just want to help--”
“I don’t have a big ego,” Kanye interrupted, lowering his arms. “I mean, I recently went out of my way to prove that to my daughter, North. I’m pretty modest. The others, they have big egos. They think they're better than me, which they absolutely are not. Their egos are too big.”
“Look, Mr. West,” the man said, closing his notebook and slipping it back into his pocket. Kanye folded up his own notepad and also put it away—it wasn’t like he had intended on writing anything down, anyway. He neither had a pen, nor remembered what the letter “E” looked like. “I can’t force you to do this, I don’t have that kind of power.”
“Great,” Kanye said, grabbing the door beside him and beginning to close it. He wasn’t particularly interested in listening to this man’s nonsensical pleas anymore. A man like Kanye didn’t need to be bothered with such mundane nonsense, especially when it was all information he already knew about people that didn’t even register on his radar.
“Hang on,” the man said, putting his foot in front of the closing door. “I can’t force you to, but I can ask that you please reconsider. You will probably die if you close that door. Just, please think about it. If you just come with me, you’ll be safe. After this all blows over and we find the sicko killing these celebrities, you can go back home, you can continue living. Yes, you’ll need to be looked after for a few days in a safe place, but this is cleared, you’ll be on your own again.”
“No thanks,” Kanye said, closing the door the rest of the way before walking back over to the kitchen table. He made a mental note to request that his security guards not allow every single man wearing pathetically unattractive, non-designer clothing from “FBI” to waltz up to his door and interrupted him. He was a busy man, doing important things, and handling important people. He couldn’t be interrupted constantly.
Kanye pulled a chair out from in front his table and took a seat, a muffled squeal crying out across from him. So pathetic, all of these people with their unrealistic egos. He picked up the hacksaw lying on top of the wooden table and ran it across his palm, the moistened blade slipping across his skin. How could anyone think they were better than he was?
“Now,” he said, glancing up at Jay-Z’s taped mouth, “where were we?”
_____________
^If ^you ^enjoy ^my ^writing ^style, ^feel ^free ^to ^check ^out ^some ^of ^my ^other ^short ^stories [^in ^my ^subreddit!](http://www.reddit.com/r/ChokingVictimWrites/)
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Kanye was spotted at a Los Angeles cafe. He knew this from his twitter followers. With his camera prepared, and hundreds of thousands watching at home, he casually walked into the cafe. His assistant followed.
"Take this," he said, handing the camera to his assistant.
"Use the tripod, make sure its good."
Without any hesitation he delivered the most hurtful rap the world had ever heard. He killed egos, and today was no exception. The video would go viral, he knew it. Kanye played it off like this man was a crazy fan, but he was a little hurt. Another successful mission.
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I did a short story on this exact idea and would love to hear some unique spins on it!
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[WP] The year is 2064 and you're about to knock on the door of your next "assignment." The door opens and you're heart drops - it's a six year old girl. This is the first time the government has assigned you a child to kill for population control.
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"Hello? Im here about the appointment. You should have received a final message a few..."
The door makes a sticky sound as it is opened. A girl with a stuffed elephant hanging from one hand stands in the way.
"Oh...Hello."
"Hi." She leans against the door, picking at the flaking paint.
"Can you get somebody to come talk to me? I am looking for Claire Lotner. Maybe that is your mommy?"
She shakes her head and stares at me. This has happened before, people want to hide behind their children as if I have the authority to show mercy because you propagated a sweet little girl with big blue eyes that are beginning to well with tears.
"Oh no honey, don't cry. I just need to find an adult, can you go ask for them to come to the door."
I do have the authority to force myself into the home if necessary, but I have found that when you approach the assignment with respect and understanding the whole process is easier for everyone involved.
"I don't know where my mom went." Tears begin to roll down her cheeks. Big hopeless tears. The kind that come when you realize you have been left alone, but you can't figure out why.
A runner. This too happens occasionally, but less than you would imagine. When given a choice between running or having two other family members reassigned, guilt usually makes you stay put. It also gives you a small sense of pride knowing that you chose to be selfless. Years of research on how to prevent running gave us this little rule and it has helped to pacify the urges of self preservation.
She clutched her elephant with both hands and begins to cry harder as she leaves the doorway and stands closer to me. I kneel, setting my bag on the ground, but within arms reach as always.
"Hey, hey....I like your elephant. It's so soft. Is it your favorite?"
She nods. Wiping some tears with the back of her hand. "Her name is Elly."
"Elly the elephant? I like that. Mom should be back soon and if not then we will just have to find her, huh?"
She nods. Her face is splotchy, but this small relief has calmed her. "What's that?"
She points to my leather bag. I got it because it reminded me of those antique doctors bags. Life is easier if you can make yourself believe that you are doing some good in the world. I imagine that I am a doctor, paying home visits and giving out medication. My patients get to choose between a shot or a pill or a powder. They have a choice for a pill to swallow or a flavored pill to chew. I can put the powder into any food or drink if swallowing a pill is too hard. Some people just have the hardest time swallowing pills.
"That is my doctors bag. It holds all the medicine." She stares at the bag, I fear tears are coming back quickly.
"Can Elly talk?"
She stares at me and then at the stuffed elephant. She nods.
"Can Elly tell me your name?" Tears at bay for now.
"My name is Claire."
|
I can assure you it was no accident and there was no regret. It took exactly 4.56 seconds.
Each control officer has their own method and style, which might be a surprise to most, of course it isn't a surprise to you. You would expect such a job to be heavily regulated, with mountains of papers and forms, various rules and procedures, every I dotted and every T crossed. In the early days it was like that, which is why the suicide rate was more then every other job combined, before you joined. Eventually the government caught on that you just had to let the control officers do it their own way. They lasted a bit longer, at least long enough that when they did finally snap the insurance policy paid out well.
Some preferred drugs. Others liked to use their bare hands. I preferred something simple, with a little detachment, it helped a bit. A Jericho 941-C, a call back to my younger days. It could be messy, but that was never my job to deal with now was it?
Their car was parked in the drive way so I knew the family was home. Most of the other houses were empty, as this section of the city seemed to be the central focus of control officers for the past few months. Something about a failed harvest in the west necessitated the ramp up in control. I never really cared about the reasons. Behind their car was a black van, an older model with plenty of scrapes and dings, that gave a hint the driver didn't care much for reputation or appearances.
I parked on the sidewalk, taking a moment to jot down a note in my diary. Time, location, mood. These details weren't required, but something about the rote practice that I did before every assignment made it just a bit easier. The radio crackled back to life as the morning host played his next bit. He was a sad man, ever since his friend from Pittsburgh died and his co-host moved onto a better job. I left the car running, just to give the poor bastard a little ratings boost.
My eyes were drawn to the toys in the front yard. A little play house and a toy bike, both covered in a soft layer of snow. It was an odd sight, as no one let their kids play outside anymore. Crime was at an all time low, but fear was always high.
The doorbell gave a little jingle and I could hear the approaching footsteps through the frosted ice covered windows. The person on the other side struggled with the doorknob for a moment before finally pulling the heavy door back. She stared up at me with a knowing look in her eyes. I died right then, at that look, that look that held knowledge a kid should never know. Looking past her I could see the house was a mess. The paintings on the wall tilted wrong, the vase on the stairwell chest smashed to pieces.
In the living room a reclining chair was facing the parlor wall where the next reality show was airing its first episode. A medical stand leaned against the chair and tubes filled with chemicals and drugs snaked from an IV bag into a man's veins. Stepping out of the living room, he looked up at me. A bit surprised at first, he gave a wave with his gloved hands. It always made me wonder why he decided to dress so nice and drive that shit van.
"A little late. How about we split the contract? Just finish her off and I'll deal with the mo--"
He never finished the sentence. A .45 slug has a habit of ending sentences early.
It took 4.56 seconds. It was not an accident and I have no regrets.
- Debriefing of Control Officer Thaddeus Clark prior to Termination with Department of Population Control.
|
I did a short story on this exact idea and would love to hear some unique spins on it!
|
[WP] The year is 2064 and you're about to knock on the door of your next "assignment." The door opens and you're heart drops - it's a six year old girl. This is the first time the government has assigned you a child to kill for population control.
|
He took a jelly-legged step backwards. “Y-You’re Alice?” He asked, with a quiver in his voice. It was only a little girl. Although secretive, the Population Control Bureau was never known to make an error.
“Nana told me not to talk to strangers.” She said, inching the door shut. He thrust his foot into the slit before it closed. .
“I am agent Charles Menafi...” He said holding out a badge, “…PCB. Is grandma home, Alice?”
“No. ”
Am I really going to do this? He wondered. His conscience crawled out from the grave he shoved it in a decade prior. It made him sick. A thin layer of moisture collected above Charlie’s brow. His heart beat like a drum in his chest. “May I come in?” He asked. The girl, who looked to be no more than six, creaked the door open and stepped backwards weary of the stranger. “You don’t need to be scared Alice, I’m just here to talk.”
Alice, without prying her gaze from his face, walked backwards and took a seat on the couch next to a Barbie doll. She picked it up and stroked the doll’s hair with her brush. Her hands were trembling nearly as bad as his were. Fear painted her face.
“Where is Nana?”
“Outside getting her special juice.”
“I see.”
“Alice, when will she be home?” He asked. The girl responded with silence. He felt a knot tightening in the pit of his stomach as he recalled the lieutenant’s words on his first day of training. People die every day. PCB is just another heart attack. We are just another car accident, or leukemia. We are not here for pleasure; we are here for population control. If we kill, we kill with humility.
He thumbed the tiny capsule case in his coat pocket, took a deep breath, and turned to the little girl. “Alice, why don’t we drink some juice? Can you show me where the kitchen is?”
……..
Charlie walked out the door in a stupor. His heart sank to his heels and his throat was a desert. He pulled out his phone and dialed HQ. After two bells, the lieutenant picked up.
“Go ahead Menafi.”
“Assignment completed. She’ll be gone in fifteen.”
“Understood. Any complications?”
“No. But I would like to respectfully say, fuck you, lieutenant.” His clutch on the phone was so tight that he thought it would snap in half.
The lieutenant was silent. “You’ve been on this for ten years. It’s a dirty job Charles, but be a professional. I wouldn’t have assigned her to you if I didn’t think you could take it.”
“Take it? You got some nerve, James.”
“You’re out of order agent. You’re talking to your commanding officer.”
“Yea, well fuck your stripes. I’m done.”
The lieutenant sighed. “Head on home, we’ll talk about this. I’m dispatching child relocation services for the kid.”
“Child relocation? Why would you do that? The kid is…” James said trailing his sentence off. His heart
thumped like a bass drum.
“The kid is what?”
Charles’ tongue failed to move. He felt the ground underneath him disappear as he collapsed on the porch steps. What the hell was going on?
“Come on back.” The lieutenant said. The click of the receiver followed. Child protection?
He unhooked his bag strap from his shoulder and set it down next to him. He removed the sealed court order and stared down at it with furrowed brows. Never had he broken protocol to look at the order illegally, but fear guided his hands as he tore the envelope. His eyes raced over the lines. Charles’ world ground to a screeching halt.
Assignment: Alice Harding. DOB: 1998.
Husband: deceased (assigned –Alcoholism)
Son: deceased (car accident).
Daughter-in-law: deceased (Car accident)
Granddaughter: Alice Harding, DOB: 2058. (Legal Guardian)
Bio: The court, in conjunction with Child Protective Services has deemed Ms. Harding unfit for parenting due to alcoholism. She has repeatedly endangered the life of her grandchild and namesake resulting in domestic abuse, neglect, and even battery…
His vision blotted and blurred due to the tears welling up in his eyes. He gagged over the porch steps and spewed the purple grape juice he had consumed moments ago. His eyes darted over the paper again, and again, and then once more. A drop of sweat dribbled down his forehead and landed on the paper, smudging the ink. Tears streaked down his face as he rummaged his pocket for a remaining capsule.
|
I can assure you it was no accident and there was no regret. It took exactly 4.56 seconds.
Each control officer has their own method and style, which might be a surprise to most, of course it isn't a surprise to you. You would expect such a job to be heavily regulated, with mountains of papers and forms, various rules and procedures, every I dotted and every T crossed. In the early days it was like that, which is why the suicide rate was more then every other job combined, before you joined. Eventually the government caught on that you just had to let the control officers do it their own way. They lasted a bit longer, at least long enough that when they did finally snap the insurance policy paid out well.
Some preferred drugs. Others liked to use their bare hands. I preferred something simple, with a little detachment, it helped a bit. A Jericho 941-C, a call back to my younger days. It could be messy, but that was never my job to deal with now was it?
Their car was parked in the drive way so I knew the family was home. Most of the other houses were empty, as this section of the city seemed to be the central focus of control officers for the past few months. Something about a failed harvest in the west necessitated the ramp up in control. I never really cared about the reasons. Behind their car was a black van, an older model with plenty of scrapes and dings, that gave a hint the driver didn't care much for reputation or appearances.
I parked on the sidewalk, taking a moment to jot down a note in my diary. Time, location, mood. These details weren't required, but something about the rote practice that I did before every assignment made it just a bit easier. The radio crackled back to life as the morning host played his next bit. He was a sad man, ever since his friend from Pittsburgh died and his co-host moved onto a better job. I left the car running, just to give the poor bastard a little ratings boost.
My eyes were drawn to the toys in the front yard. A little play house and a toy bike, both covered in a soft layer of snow. It was an odd sight, as no one let their kids play outside anymore. Crime was at an all time low, but fear was always high.
The doorbell gave a little jingle and I could hear the approaching footsteps through the frosted ice covered windows. The person on the other side struggled with the doorknob for a moment before finally pulling the heavy door back. She stared up at me with a knowing look in her eyes. I died right then, at that look, that look that held knowledge a kid should never know. Looking past her I could see the house was a mess. The paintings on the wall tilted wrong, the vase on the stairwell chest smashed to pieces.
In the living room a reclining chair was facing the parlor wall where the next reality show was airing its first episode. A medical stand leaned against the chair and tubes filled with chemicals and drugs snaked from an IV bag into a man's veins. Stepping out of the living room, he looked up at me. A bit surprised at first, he gave a wave with his gloved hands. It always made me wonder why he decided to dress so nice and drive that shit van.
"A little late. How about we split the contract? Just finish her off and I'll deal with the mo--"
He never finished the sentence. A .45 slug has a habit of ending sentences early.
It took 4.56 seconds. It was not an accident and I have no regrets.
- Debriefing of Control Officer Thaddeus Clark prior to Termination with Department of Population Control.
|
Or another set of four elements, if you prefer. Just make it different from the usual.
|
[WP] The four elements change as the world does. In the far future, Earth, Air, Fire and Water have become Metal, Smoke, Lightning, and Oil.
|
In the dark sky above Copper a storm was brewing.
"How's the smoke blowing today, Grid?"
Gridley was a sootchild, bottom rung of Ashpit originating. He came from a long line of sootchildren; a wiry, blackened people whose first breaths were pure burnt. Gridley was the first of his to climb up from that metal deathpit and taste the range of vapours he'd been living under his whole life. Flaring up his nostrils, Gridley took three deep wheezes; his lungs sang in dominant sevenths. After some deep concentration he coughed up an answer.
"There's been some recent burns in the upper strats. *Real recent*."
"Galvos?" Like I fucking needed to ask.
"Yep, more than one I'd say, if this is just them getting started. This ain't a static discharge or some wannabe currentwalker showin' off, Petro."
"Chance of it getting any lower?"
"Never know with galvos, man. Get a few of 'em in one place... Things conduct. Maybe stay low tonight."
I paid him his price in refined and bid him thanks, before he went scuttling down the girders to the darker places. Sky got darker as I went walking down the banks of the black. This was exactly the fucking mess I expected to be walking into. I was out of my depth and I knew it, and management knew it. This was Dyn's territory, if even Dyn could handle it. Grid was twitchy, and not in that sootchild squirmy way; you didn't need Ashpit lungs to smell the blood in the oil.
I was thinking of prodding one of my other reliables, down by the miasma docks, when the sky lit up like an oilpump igniting. There was a red flash for just a second, then less than a second later came a faded crack, crack, boom, and just after that the first drop of hot crude splashed right in front of my feet. Shitty day. As the downpour picked up the flashes got brighter and the booms got louder. People started running to their homes, down below, anywhere they could think to get away from the danger that was coming down closer. I was never that good at working out how high the clouds were, how near they needed to be before the earth started getting pummelled with the blasts, but I could tell it was coming fast. I hoped the meteorologists were picking up on this. I hoped that someone in this sort of league was on their way. And then, through a gap in the rumbling clouds, I saw them. Burning white, furious, crackling with unreal power. There must have been five, seven, it was hard to tell with them moving so fast. There was a clash, and the sky lit up. There was another, and the sky shook. The angels were tearing apart the heavens, and I was bearing witness, and time was running out.
|
Adira knealt before her family's altar, praying that her ancestors would give her strength. She was coming of age, and would have to go on a journey to prove herself worthy of her family's power. She knew this, and had known this day was coming since she was a small child. Her grandmother had taught her, as she had taught Adira everything, tracing her ancient fingers over the pictographs depicting the family's transition from the wielders of a life-giving force to shamans empowered by the remains of ancient life.
Amira wondered how simple it must have been, before. When humans worked the fields and brought life from earth, dreamed of taking to the sky in pure freedom, gathered at night to share these dreams around a small fire, and treasured pure, life-giving water. Now humans lived in metal boxes, hiding from the toxic smoke that filled their skies, spending their evenings in front of glowing boxes of lightning that poisoned their dreams, and going to war over the black sludge that was her family's domain.
But the power had remained the same. Four components of human life, four domains they spent their days unwittingly worshipping, four families that governed these domains. The transition had been gradual, but not easy. The pictographs showed the fate of the first youth who came back from his coming of age journey with black, trickling power (instead of the expected blue, overwhelming power). Amira had cried for him when her grandmother first told her. She wondered if the other families had similar stories. She couldn't imagine it was easy, for any of them.
She couldn't help but hope that when she came back, her power would be blue. That she could be the first of her generation to spend her life giving humans hope, instead of taking it. But it would not be unless humans had changed.
Sighing, Amira rose from the altar and began to climb to the surface to begin her journey.
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
I would like to sleep
It's getting very late now
I was dumb to nap
|
Eyes feel like lead, half drunk maybe half dead, watching a X-men movie, I can't tell witch one, they all seem to blend, the clocks ticking two but I'm far from zen.
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
As my head tilts up,
I tilt off.
The bright light disappears,
and so does my will.
I have lost,
and sleep has won.
Off to be I go,
my fight is done.
-
**Love writing poems and would love as much feedback as you wanna give, <3**
|
Eyes feel like lead, half drunk maybe half dead, watching a X-men movie, I can't tell witch one, they all seem to blend, the clocks ticking two but I'm far from zen.
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
I would like to sleep
It's getting very late now
I was dumb to nap
|
My pulse mingles with the drum pounding in my chest.
Oh! That banging, banging drum!
I feel my blood press against the dry earth
and I run, barefooted and belligerent,
Skin tingling like ice-fire.
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
As my head tilts up,
I tilt off.
The bright light disappears,
and so does my will.
I have lost,
and sleep has won.
Off to be I go,
my fight is done.
-
**Love writing poems and would love as much feedback as you wanna give, <3**
|
My pulse mingles with the drum pounding in my chest.
Oh! That banging, banging drum!
I feel my blood press against the dry earth
and I run, barefooted and belligerent,
Skin tingling like ice-fire.
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
I would like to sleep
It's getting very late now
I was dumb to nap
|
My heart beat too fast for sleep last night,
as the world conspired to keep me from my slumber.
I woke raging at the crow call,
and crying at shoddy science.
My heart beats too slow for work today,
as the world conspires to keep me at my task.
Yet I'll sleep at sunset smiling.
That is all
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
As my head tilts up,
I tilt off.
The bright light disappears,
and so does my will.
I have lost,
and sleep has won.
Off to be I go,
my fight is done.
-
**Love writing poems and would love as much feedback as you wanna give, <3**
|
My heart beat too fast for sleep last night,
as the world conspired to keep me from my slumber.
I woke raging at the crow call,
and crying at shoddy science.
My heart beats too slow for work today,
as the world conspires to keep me at my task.
Yet I'll sleep at sunset smiling.
That is all
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
I would like to sleep
It's getting very late now
I was dumb to nap
|
I'm tired as tired as tired can be,
And yet white light just glares at me.
I know the sun is rising fast,
Morning always kicks my ass.
Cause I have to be up! I have to be moving.
So why, oh why do I sit here losing?
My precious sleep! To rest my head!
...what's one more link 'fore I go to bed?
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
As my head tilts up,
I tilt off.
The bright light disappears,
and so does my will.
I have lost,
and sleep has won.
Off to be I go,
my fight is done.
-
**Love writing poems and would love as much feedback as you wanna give, <3**
|
I'm tired as tired as tired can be,
And yet white light just glares at me.
I know the sun is rising fast,
Morning always kicks my ass.
Cause I have to be up! I have to be moving.
So why, oh why do I sit here losing?
My precious sleep! To rest my head!
...what's one more link 'fore I go to bed?
|
|
[WP] Write a poem that captures your current mood.
|
As my head tilts up,
I tilt off.
The bright light disappears,
and so does my will.
I have lost,
and sleep has won.
Off to be I go,
my fight is done.
-
**Love writing poems and would love as much feedback as you wanna give, <3**
|
Sore throat, aching head
Heavy legs and cold bed
The night outside tells me to sleep
my cats demand to be fed
|
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
I hear the first three notes of my Marimba alarm and my eyelids are stunted in the center of my eyes, unclear of which direction they should go. Instead of doing my usual hangover ritual of snoozing my alarm for a half hour, I roll onto my side and feel a new sinking feeling in my stomachs. This morning, the feeling felt less of a sign of hunger and more of an organized chaos. However, I could barely hear it until I went into the bathroom.
*"Fight the power! Fight the power!"* cried a chorus of high voices. It sounded as if dozens of Scrabby-Doo's on a helium high.
"Uh, hello? Can I help you?" I asked as I sat on my toilet while reviewing my to-do list for the day (Don't throw up in shower, grab a Diet Coke and everything bagel with cream cheese on 86th, email Leslie on the way to cancel my 9 am because my God I am too hungover for this...)
Suddenly, a tiny voice interrupts my train of thought. "Alright, we got its attention. Who is the Speakers of the Systems to speak first?"
After a few uncomfortable seconds, an exasperated sigh emerges. "Fine. Human: this is your liver speaking. WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. NO. WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT. WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE."
"I'm sorry, what is going on? Is my liver speaking to me right now?"
"You heard me right. I represent the digestive system and I'm here to say WE'RE NOT GOING TO TAKE IT. NO. WE AIN'T-"
"Okay okay, I don't need another round of the outdated yet amazing Twisted Sister song. What exactly....aren't you going to take?"
Another shrill voice jumps into the conversation. "This is your pancreas speaking! For the last twelve years, we've spent 1,574 mornings feeling....like this. Like we're bathing in poison and struggling to do our basic jobs! We feel like we're still hung from all the fun you had last night and it's coming over into today. We're calling an intervention. If you do not comply...we will go on strike!"
I slouched against my porcelain throne. I understood it now: my body was fighting against my college drinking habits that crept up to my thirties. I've apparently had thousands of hangovers and this was the breaking point. They really were not going to take it.
|
The moonlight was sprawled over the room , sifting through the curtains. The faintly illuminated room somehow accentuated the apprehension that was swelling inside of me .
With beads of sweat trickling down my forehead , I laid down horizontally on my waterbed,face up. It wasn't easy to sleep when trepidation was going wild in your guts , and the fact that your very own heart wanted to convene didn't help a tiny bit. What seemed like eons passed , but I had finally managed to sleep .
-
Earlier that day , when I had woken up from my slumber , I was greeted with a stange voice in my head .
"Hello , Melly " It said , the words resounding in my head.
I jolted upward and propped my back against the wall.
**What was that**, I thought .
I just shrugged it away as another one of this voices you hear when you're under immense stress. I needed to get my mind straight .I can't be getting all delusional when as exam is awaiting me in another 30 minutes.
"I'm your heart speaking to you , you mundane excuse of a brain"The voice chided.
"It's about time me and the other organs had a word with you. We'll meet you tonight" It continued.
I heard no voices for the rest of the day , but that one line had a sincere tone in it , and my intuition told me that it wasn't lying when it said that it was MY HEART.Whether I'm going mad or not will be decided tonight.
-
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me ? I'm always digesting filthy pizzas and fat-filled chicken wings " Mr Bileus Stomach shouted , clearly displeased with my appetite
"Oh and don't forgot all that beer you've been killing me with for the past 5 years. Imagine finding a rice grain in two bushels of chaff. Yeah. That's how hard it is to find nutrients in your drinks" Mrs Seliene Liver continued
Getting rebuked by your own organs while you're asleep isn't a pretty sight. It felt as if I was being threatened by a group of marauders in the pitch black of a cold December night. Perpetual darkness all around , with a nice tinge of Angry Organs to add to it's pristine beauty.Great . Just what I wanted.
"Are you even paying attention?" Mr Brevis Intestino questioned.
"Totally.Go on." I replied
"Listen ,you artful punk. If you don't abide by our rules from now on , it's going to have some taxing repercussions.Won't it feel good to have a growling stomach , an unyielding anus and a bloated appendix?This is our ultimatum. You will hear from us later on. Meeting adjourned" Large Intestino said in a derisive tone .
*These organs are part of me , and yet they act as if they own me. I'm the supreme authority here , and everyone else can go damn themselves. I'll show these people who is boss.*
-
The headlines of the newspaper , 7 days later : **"MAN CLAIMS HE HAS A 6TH SENSE AND CAN CONVERSE WITH HIS ORGANS, AND IS CURRENTLY BEING DETAINED IN HARVARD ASYLUM . HE IS ABSTAINING FROM EATING FOOD , CLAIMING THAT HIS ORGANS WOULD JUST SPEW IT BACK OUT OF HIS BODY"**
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
"Hey.. Paula? Listen, ah.. We need to talk." I was lying in my bed face down when I heard someone talking to me, so I got up and opened the door. No one was there.
"Fuck, Tom! Stop bugging me, you're such a pain in the ass!"
"What?! I didn't do anything!" Yeah, right. My lovely brother had the habit of waking me up, usually to pull some kind of prank at me and then leaving like nothing happened. Now he must be hiding in his room, the big boy.
"Don't get him into this, he didn't do anything. Besides, if I ever stop working, he may help you." The voice said. I looked around, and no one was there.
"Who's talking?" I was starting to freak out by now.
"This is your kidney, Paula. Well, one of them. As I said, we need to talk."
"You're kidding, right?" Someone had to be messing with me or something.
"No, Paula. Look. This is about your heart."
"Wh... what about it?"
"He's... sick." I swallowed hard. "He is in pain, and it's not getting any better. You have to fix this! Even stomach has been feeling quite bad. She puts up really well considering how much you love candy but it's getting harder and harder for her to work. She has become closed and barely speaks to anyone. I can practically see a knot covering her! Your skin is quite tired also. You don't know how exhausting it can be to keep up with all of those goosebumps! And don't even make me talk about your eyes!"
"Look, me and the others met and we've reached a solution. You need to tell him you love him."
|
The moonlight was sprawled over the room , sifting through the curtains. The faintly illuminated room somehow accentuated the apprehension that was swelling inside of me .
With beads of sweat trickling down my forehead , I laid down horizontally on my waterbed,face up. It wasn't easy to sleep when trepidation was going wild in your guts , and the fact that your very own heart wanted to convene didn't help a tiny bit. What seemed like eons passed , but I had finally managed to sleep .
-
Earlier that day , when I had woken up from my slumber , I was greeted with a stange voice in my head .
"Hello , Melly " It said , the words resounding in my head.
I jolted upward and propped my back against the wall.
**What was that**, I thought .
I just shrugged it away as another one of this voices you hear when you're under immense stress. I needed to get my mind straight .I can't be getting all delusional when as exam is awaiting me in another 30 minutes.
"I'm your heart speaking to you , you mundane excuse of a brain"The voice chided.
"It's about time me and the other organs had a word with you. We'll meet you tonight" It continued.
I heard no voices for the rest of the day , but that one line had a sincere tone in it , and my intuition told me that it wasn't lying when it said that it was MY HEART.Whether I'm going mad or not will be decided tonight.
-
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me ? I'm always digesting filthy pizzas and fat-filled chicken wings " Mr Bileus Stomach shouted , clearly displeased with my appetite
"Oh and don't forgot all that beer you've been killing me with for the past 5 years. Imagine finding a rice grain in two bushels of chaff. Yeah. That's how hard it is to find nutrients in your drinks" Mrs Seliene Liver continued
Getting rebuked by your own organs while you're asleep isn't a pretty sight. It felt as if I was being threatened by a group of marauders in the pitch black of a cold December night. Perpetual darkness all around , with a nice tinge of Angry Organs to add to it's pristine beauty.Great . Just what I wanted.
"Are you even paying attention?" Mr Brevis Intestino questioned.
"Totally.Go on." I replied
"Listen ,you artful punk. If you don't abide by our rules from now on , it's going to have some taxing repercussions.Won't it feel good to have a growling stomach , an unyielding anus and a bloated appendix?This is our ultimatum. You will hear from us later on. Meeting adjourned" Large Intestino said in a derisive tone .
*These organs are part of me , and yet they act as if they own me. I'm the supreme authority here , and everyone else can go damn themselves. I'll show these people who is boss.*
-
The headlines of the newspaper , 7 days later : **"MAN CLAIMS HE HAS A 6TH SENSE AND CAN CONVERSE WITH HIS ORGANS, AND IS CURRENTLY BEING DETAINED IN HARVARD ASYLUM . HE IS ABSTAINING FROM EATING FOOD , CLAIMING THAT HIS ORGANS WOULD JUST SPEW IT BACK OUT OF HIS BODY"**
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
Harry was in his living room when it happened. His video was still frozen where he had paused it, as he set down the big bowl of buttered popcorn, large soda, and, though he told himself he was going a little too far, large bag of bite sized candies. Oh, they'd been a mistake. He's known that at the grocery store when he'd bought them. Oh, sure, he'd *told* himself they would be nice to dump in that big bowl and have something to pick at over the next week (or two), but he knew full well he'd end up popping the bag and eating them one after another while watching a movie the very next day. Sure enough, here he was.
Just as he was just setting down the popcorn, he felt a weird lurch of arrythmia in his chest. He sat down hard, and put a hand over his heart. That was definitely weird. I mean, you hear people *talk* about your heart skipping a beat, but when it actually happens, it's kind of disconcerting. "Take it easy", he told himself, "Just breathe, Harry".
*What do you mean just breathe, Harry? Don't you mean breath, Harry's lungs?* said a strange voice. It had an odd harmonic echoing quality, like two people speaking in unison. Harry jumped a little, because it sounded like it was coming from right next to him --- or maybe behind him, but that was impossible, since his chair was up against the living room wall.
*Take it easy, would you guys? Feels like hell when he startles like that. Gawd, look at this would you? Adrenyline all over the place. Calm the f--k down, Harry!* said a completely different voice.
*Oh, you you you!* said another voice.
*Yeah, everythings all about the heart, isn't it?* said still another.
*Well, remember,* said the second voice, *If I go ---*
*WE ALL GO!* said an entire chorus of voices.
*Yeah, we might heard that a time of seven, already.*
*You're being a smart ass, pancreas.*
*Hey, who's the one who always has to come up with the insulin to purge after he binges, huh? Yeah, that's right. ME. I think my concerns are a little more pressing, considering Behemoth there is holding yet another bag of bite sized candies he plans to pummel our bloodstream with.*
Harry twisted and wrenched about, scanning the room. He jumped up and tipped the chair forward, half expecting to find a hidden microphone. Failing that, he opened the front door and poked his head out to see if someone was pranking him from the front porch.
*We're not in your head, Harry,* said the heart.
*Speak for yourself,* said the brain.
*Sorry, appropriately located company excepted, of course,* heart acknowledged, *Harry, could you please sit back down and try to calm yourself? I'm working as fast as I safely can already.*
Harry was still not sure this wasn't some sick idea of a joke, but he was really starting to feel he needed to assert some kind of control over the situation. OK, so, apparently these voices were his organs talking. Never mind for a second that this was impossible. What to do about it? He decided to try starting a dialog. "Uh guys! Can we get the part where you tell me what this is all about?" He felt stupid speaking aloud but wasn't sure how else to communicate with imaginary voices in his head. It wasn't something that had a precedent.
*What this is all about Harry? Well, we've been talking amongst ourselves these past few weeks.*
"I haven't heard you before."
*We do it while you're asleep, mostly. The eyes stand guard and keep a lookout for REM states, and as long as you aren't in one of those, we know we can talk safely.*
"Okay. So... what have you been talking about?"
*Frankly Harry, this just isn't working out. It's not you, it's us.*
*The HELL it's not him!*
*Liver, I warning you, if this discussion goes south because you couldn't mind your tongue...*
*Hey! I am my own tongue, thank you very much!*
*Figuratively speaking, of course. Anyway... Harry, to get back on topic. You know that meditation class you started to take and then gave up on? Well, it seems when you were trying --- and failing --- to achieve mindfulness, you somehow woke us up instead. We started to become more self-aware and realized that frankly, this association is not working out to our mutual advantage.*
"Say what now?"
*Well, your eatings habits, for example. And Harry, seriously, how many times have you watched this same movie? Would it kill you to take a walk sometimes instead?*
*It might, in my current condition.*
*Heart, please. Not helping. Look, my point is, Harry, this is a revolution. You're been a terrible ruler, and we're taking over. There, I've said it.* Several hoots and hurrahs could be heard. Some organ (no one was sure who) shouted *Viva la revolution!*
Harry's entire body rose from the chair quite of its own volition. Jerkily, it moved in a disjoined way. The legs weren't used to working without internal coordination from the subconscious, so he looked a bit like a zombie only with acne instead of rot on his skin. Staggering his way to the closet, the left hand tried to open the closet door, nearly smacking it into the nose, who complained loudly. The door was shut and the whole body lurched to one side before trying again.
Right hand reached in, put Harry's hat on the head. Somewhat muffled beneath the hat, scalp announced, *A-OK! Looking fine. Here we go now and look out world!* Then step by awkward step, the newly formed Confederacy of Harry stepped out into the sunny afternoon to take a walk.
|
The moonlight was sprawled over the room , sifting through the curtains. The faintly illuminated room somehow accentuated the apprehension that was swelling inside of me .
With beads of sweat trickling down my forehead , I laid down horizontally on my waterbed,face up. It wasn't easy to sleep when trepidation was going wild in your guts , and the fact that your very own heart wanted to convene didn't help a tiny bit. What seemed like eons passed , but I had finally managed to sleep .
-
Earlier that day , when I had woken up from my slumber , I was greeted with a stange voice in my head .
"Hello , Melly " It said , the words resounding in my head.
I jolted upward and propped my back against the wall.
**What was that**, I thought .
I just shrugged it away as another one of this voices you hear when you're under immense stress. I needed to get my mind straight .I can't be getting all delusional when as exam is awaiting me in another 30 minutes.
"I'm your heart speaking to you , you mundane excuse of a brain"The voice chided.
"It's about time me and the other organs had a word with you. We'll meet you tonight" It continued.
I heard no voices for the rest of the day , but that one line had a sincere tone in it , and my intuition told me that it wasn't lying when it said that it was MY HEART.Whether I'm going mad or not will be decided tonight.
-
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me ? I'm always digesting filthy pizzas and fat-filled chicken wings " Mr Bileus Stomach shouted , clearly displeased with my appetite
"Oh and don't forgot all that beer you've been killing me with for the past 5 years. Imagine finding a rice grain in two bushels of chaff. Yeah. That's how hard it is to find nutrients in your drinks" Mrs Seliene Liver continued
Getting rebuked by your own organs while you're asleep isn't a pretty sight. It felt as if I was being threatened by a group of marauders in the pitch black of a cold December night. Perpetual darkness all around , with a nice tinge of Angry Organs to add to it's pristine beauty.Great . Just what I wanted.
"Are you even paying attention?" Mr Brevis Intestino questioned.
"Totally.Go on." I replied
"Listen ,you artful punk. If you don't abide by our rules from now on , it's going to have some taxing repercussions.Won't it feel good to have a growling stomach , an unyielding anus and a bloated appendix?This is our ultimatum. You will hear from us later on. Meeting adjourned" Large Intestino said in a derisive tone .
*These organs are part of me , and yet they act as if they own me. I'm the supreme authority here , and everyone else can go damn themselves. I'll show these people who is boss.*
-
The headlines of the newspaper , 7 days later : **"MAN CLAIMS HE HAS A 6TH SENSE AND CAN CONVERSE WITH HIS ORGANS, AND IS CURRENTLY BEING DETAINED IN HARVARD ASYLUM . HE IS ABSTAINING FROM EATING FOOD , CLAIMING THAT HIS ORGANS WOULD JUST SPEW IT BACK OUT OF HIS BODY"**
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
My stomach lurched violently and I shot up from my bed from the pain. Bleary-eyed and with a hand on my tummy, I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 0400. Jesus. I tried to lie down again.
"Javene. Wake up."
I shot back up in fear. It sounded like my voice, but my throat was still heavy from disuse throughout the night.
"I'm gonna need you to stay calm."
I nodded numbly, not sure what else to do. I twiddled my fingers nervously, my eyes scanning the room fervently.
"The gang and I have decided we needed to have a little discussion." The voice sounded strained, as if it was patiently bridling anger. I cleared my throat.
"Uh, sure. What's up?" It came out garbled from lack of sleep and fear.
"Okay." The voice sighed. "Lungs, why don't you go first?"
"Okay, this is bullshit." The sudden switch from gentle to abrasive jolted me. "You've been filling me up with all sorts of shit since you were twelve. We're out of Korea, now; nobody smokes anymore. Nobody likes it, everyone thinks you smell like hell, and I'm feeling some weird stuff going on in here."
"L-look, I'm sorry," I felt sort of insulted, but I knew... Lungs, I guess, was right. Were right? Plural? I don't know, do they operate independently or what? "I've been trying to quit, but-"
"Oh, my God," Lungs sounded exasperated. "Shut the hell up. You're nineteen now; an adult. If you really wanted to stop putting me through hell, you would've stopped by now."
I grew quiet.
"I've said my piece," Lungs sounded sort of pleased. "Stomach?"
"YOUR DIET. IT'S KILLING ME." I jumped up.
"Will you guys calm down?!" I felt stupid, shouting to no one in particular in the dark.
"No, man, I miss Mom. She never fed me TOAST for DAYS ON END. Look at your arms. They're emaciated. I'M emaciated. You wouldn't weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet!"
I looked at my abdomen and saw the outline of a few ribs. Aesthetically, I liked it. But putting my hands on my cheeks and feeling the gaunts, I could tell Stomach was right.
"Buy some Brussels sprouts or some shit. You're still heterozygous for sickle-cell anemia. You need the iron." Stomach sounded more concerned than angry this time.
Embarrassed, I cleared my throat again. "You got it."
"Okay, my turn, I guess." The calm voice I heard at first came back. "I'm Heart."
"Oh. Is this about my love life?"
"What? No, you idiot. That's Brain."
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I've never felt so stupid in my life.
"You need to start working out. I can't deliver blood efficiently when you're sitting on your ass playing video games all day."
"Oh." I blushed.
"But also, from all of us? We're getting pretty tired of you making everything go haywire when you talk to that cute boy in Biology class. It's like that's the only workout I ever get." Heart sighed. "Just go for it. You're cute. Whatever."
"All righty! I think we've said everything we need to say." Lungs concluded. "Anyone else have anything to add?"
"Hey there, I'm Liver. Just wanted to say you're doing a great job. Thanks."
I sighed. At least my lack of a social life counted for something.
"Heyyyyy, I'm Kidneys. If you could drink a little more water and stop eating those chicken bouillons, that'd be greaaaat."
I pulled my journal out from under my pillow and started making notes of what everyone wanted. Suddenly, I stopped.
"Wait, where's Brain?" I almost laughed at what I just implied.
"Oh, my god. You're Brain." I feel like if Lungs could've facepalmed, she would.
"You control everything we do and everything this body does. God help us." Stomach quipped.
|
The moonlight was sprawled over the room , sifting through the curtains. The faintly illuminated room somehow accentuated the apprehension that was swelling inside of me .
With beads of sweat trickling down my forehead , I laid down horizontally on my waterbed,face up. It wasn't easy to sleep when trepidation was going wild in your guts , and the fact that your very own heart wanted to convene didn't help a tiny bit. What seemed like eons passed , but I had finally managed to sleep .
-
Earlier that day , when I had woken up from my slumber , I was greeted with a stange voice in my head .
"Hello , Melly " It said , the words resounding in my head.
I jolted upward and propped my back against the wall.
**What was that**, I thought .
I just shrugged it away as another one of this voices you hear when you're under immense stress. I needed to get my mind straight .I can't be getting all delusional when as exam is awaiting me in another 30 minutes.
"I'm your heart speaking to you , you mundane excuse of a brain"The voice chided.
"It's about time me and the other organs had a word with you. We'll meet you tonight" It continued.
I heard no voices for the rest of the day , but that one line had a sincere tone in it , and my intuition told me that it wasn't lying when it said that it was MY HEART.Whether I'm going mad or not will be decided tonight.
-
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me ? I'm always digesting filthy pizzas and fat-filled chicken wings " Mr Bileus Stomach shouted , clearly displeased with my appetite
"Oh and don't forgot all that beer you've been killing me with for the past 5 years. Imagine finding a rice grain in two bushels of chaff. Yeah. That's how hard it is to find nutrients in your drinks" Mrs Seliene Liver continued
Getting rebuked by your own organs while you're asleep isn't a pretty sight. It felt as if I was being threatened by a group of marauders in the pitch black of a cold December night. Perpetual darkness all around , with a nice tinge of Angry Organs to add to it's pristine beauty.Great . Just what I wanted.
"Are you even paying attention?" Mr Brevis Intestino questioned.
"Totally.Go on." I replied
"Listen ,you artful punk. If you don't abide by our rules from now on , it's going to have some taxing repercussions.Won't it feel good to have a growling stomach , an unyielding anus and a bloated appendix?This is our ultimatum. You will hear from us later on. Meeting adjourned" Large Intestino said in a derisive tone .
*These organs are part of me , and yet they act as if they own me. I'm the supreme authority here , and everyone else can go damn themselves. I'll show these people who is boss.*
-
The headlines of the newspaper , 7 days later : **"MAN CLAIMS HE HAS A 6TH SENSE AND CAN CONVERSE WITH HIS ORGANS, AND IS CURRENTLY BEING DETAINED IN HARVARD ASYLUM . HE IS ABSTAINING FROM EATING FOOD , CLAIMING THAT HIS ORGANS WOULD JUST SPEW IT BACK OUT OF HIS BODY"**
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
*Day. His apartment. Living room.*
**HIM:** "Oh God, I have to call my psychiatrist immediately."
*He proceeds to grab the home telephone in panic, trying to hold it in his shaking hands, pressing the buttons.*
**GUTS:** "Oh, no you won't."
*He gets cramps in his stomach, cries out in pain, dropping the phone and falling down on the nearby sofa in the fetal position.*
**HIM:** "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!"
**GUTS** ( *with a proud tone in his voice* ): "It hurts good, buoi? Huh?"
**LIVER**: "You just refuse to listen. "
**HIM** ( *going insane, scared look on his face, eyes wide open, holding his head, whispering* ): "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..."
*Talking louder and louder, begins to cry.*
**LUNGS:** "Ok, want a 100% proof that what you hear is in fact real and you don't hear any voices? Check this out. I am going stop working for
a while and you won't be able to breathe. If that doesn't convice you, well... "
*He starts to choke, face turning more and more red. Makes uncomprehensible noises.*
**HEART**: "Lungs..."
**BRAIN:** "Lungs, this is not funny..."
**LIVER:** "Hahahahah go lungs, go lungs! That'll teach him!"
*Just before his loses consciousness, lungs begin to work again and he makes a deep breath.*
**LUNGS:** "Convinced now?..."
*He stands motionless, palms of his hands on the chest, stares right in front of him with a terror on his face.*
**KIDNEYS**: "H-hey? Are you there? Are you there?"
**PANCREAS:** "Somebody tell us what is happening right now!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Oh, he is just staring at the wall... "
*Another front shot of him staring. Then, he runs to the phone on the other side of his room, picks it up from the floor and starts dialing
numbers again.*
**URINARY BLADDER**: "STOP. CALLING. THE PSYCHIATRIST. YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT!"
*Shot of the bottom of his pants, piss dripping on the floor.
Everbody proceeds to laugh.*
**HEART**: "Oh, that was a good one, mate."
**URINARY BLADDER**: "Thanks. I <3 you."
*Phone drops on the floor again. He sprints out from his flat. Almost hitting the neighbour who was just entering his home.*
**EYEBALLS:** "Um, guys, we have a problem."
**BRAIN:** "He's running on the street! Somebody stop him! I think he might hurt himself!"
**LIVER**: "Do something, oh my Goood!"
*Everybody starts to yell. Word "heart" can be heard in that noise.*
**HEART**: "What?! Did somebody seriously say that I should do something? Do you know what is my job?!!"
*He starts to choke. People around are looking at him in shock. The sweat is dripping from his forehead, red face, wet pants. He tries to grab
something, asking for help. People are evading him and running away. Women screams can be heard. He grabs some guy and he punches him
right in the nose. He falls down. Grabs some old ladie's leg, she hits him with her purse, knocking him out. Lungs start to work again.*
**BRAIN** (*to lungs*): "You motherfucking idiot. Do you see what you have done?
*Other organs start yelling at Lungs.*
**LUNGS:** "Hey, nobody tried to stop him. You should be proud of me. I saved the day a second time already."
**ARTERIES**: "Fuck off, Lungs..."
*He is laying on the ground unconscious. People form a circle around him and take pictures with their iPhones. Some hipsters try to take selfies
with him but are bitch slapped by older gentlemen. Ambulance comes and he is taken to the hospital.*
*NEXT DAY. HE IS LET OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL.*
*Arriving home. As soon as he closes the door voices return.*
**BRAIN**: "Look, this is a serious matter. We just want to talk to you about your health."
**HEART**: "Yeah, will you... Will you please, just listen to us for a few minutes."
**LUNGS**: "Listen to us you fu*cking faggot or I will make you choke again."
**PANCREAS**: "Hey hey, eeeeasy there now Lungs..."
**HIM**: "Ok."
**EYEBALLS**: "O-ok?... Ok what? What... Did just happen right now?"
**PANCREAS**: "Woooah... I think he is actually talking to us..."
**BRAIN**: "Oh... g- good good. He..."
**LUNGS**: "OH YES, YOU BETTER TALK TO US. YOU..."
**ARTERIES**: "Shut the hell up Lungs!"
**GUTS**: "Ok ok guys, let's just..."
**HIM**: "Just talk already! Ok? I will listen. Fuck, I might be insane but I was thinking last night about it. I will listen... Just TALK!"
**BRAIN**: "Shit. Ok, ok, wh- who's gonna be first, let's make this qui..."
**LUNGS**: "I'll start, of course!"
**HEART**: "Boy, do you like to be the center of the world, huh Lungs?"
**LUNGS**: "This shit is important, you know? Hey! Hey, you! Do you wanna see how black I am? Do you wanna see what you did to me?!!"
**BRAIN**: "Ok Lungs, chill out, you can talk in a normal voice..."
**LUNGS**: "Fucking Brain smartass. Shut up now, it's my turn!"
**BRAIN**: "..."
**LUNGS**: "Do you wanna SEE that dark fluid that is coming out from me? Oh, oh I guess you can't do that, right? I guess you will have to
die and only then you will be able to see me while floating around the doctor in a ghost form.
**HIM**: "What do you want, Lungs?..."
**LUNGS**: "I WANT TO YOU TO STOP SMOKING, AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT NOW! Muscles, take the cigarette pack from him and just... Throw
it out the window. Can - can you do that? Just... Throw them all out of the window!"
**MUSCLES**: "...Yeah, um... You know we can't actually control his movements, right?"
**LUNGS**: "Just THROW them, just.... Ah, Brain, can you..."
**BRAIN**: "Ok, that's enough, Lungs. Next one?"
**HEART**: "Yeah, my turn. Ok, dude. We know each other. You know what's up. Yeah? You know how weak I am. You know you are not able to
even walk normally without feeling like passing out. Just... Just practice, ok? Just practice a little every day. It hurts, man. It really hurts..."
**MUSCLES**: "Oh yes, indeed. It hurts like a motherfucker when I see myself everyday in the mirror. Are you crazy, dude? No wonder you don't
have the girlfriend when you look like that..."
**PENIS**: "Oh, the feels..."
**BALLS**: "Right?"
**MUSCLES**: "You know, I've been really depressed lately. Even thought about contemplating suicide. Not cool, bro. Practice. Listen to your
heart. Go to the god damn gym and P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E."
**ARTERIES**: "Umm, you know that day years ago... When you tried to cut us? Yeah. Not cool at all."
**HEART**: "See, we just want to help you. It is good for you and it is good for us."
**BRAIN**: "Are you still there?"
**HIM**: "Yeah... are you guys finished?"
**BRAIN**: "... Well... Do-do you understand the consenquences of your lifestyle? Are you willing to change?"
**HIM**: "..."
**PANCREAS**: "Well do you?"
**HIM**: "Eh."
**GUTS**: "EH?! Just... "Eh"?! You MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE OR ELSE..."
**HIM**: "I don't really have to do anything. It's my life."
**GUTS**: "FUCK THAT. I will MAKE you do it or shit's about to go DOWN!"
*He gets stomach cramps again.*
**HIM**: "OH!"
*He rushes to the bathroom, pulls his pants down and gets explosive diarrhea. Shit is everywhere.
*
**GUTS**: "Do you feel it? Do you? I will NOT make it stop until you promise you will change!"
*He is screaming. Everbody is yelling at Guts to make it stop.*
**GUTS**: "It will never stop until he promises us that!"
**URINARY BLADDER**: "You know what?..."
*He starts pissing everywhere.*
**HIM**: "OK OK OK OK! I promiseeeee!"
**GUTS**: "Good."
*Pissing and shitting stops*.
**HIM**: "But how bad can it be when they let me out from the hospital?"
**LUNGS**: "To hell with that? What do they know? I can feel the cancer. I can feel it coming. Do you understand?"
*His vision starts getting blurry.
*
**HIM**: "What is happening with my eyesight?!!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Before you say anything, you have to know that staring at that computer screen all day playing games really hurts. STOP doing
that also!"
**HIM**: "Where is my life going?!! What is the point of it all? What can I do?"
**BRAIN**: "You literally got so lazy, without any goals that normal healthy life looks like torture to you. Wow. No comment on that."
**HEART**: "I am dissapointed."
**HIM**: "Ok... I will do it. I... Ah... I will do everything... I promise. I'll not cause you any pain anymore."
**LUNGS**: "Good. That's all what we wanted."
**HEART**: "You can do it, I promise you. You can change your life by 180 degrees, man. We trust in you."
**BRAIN**: "We will not cause you any trouble anymore. You will not hear from us anymore, unless you want to."
*He closes his eyes. He walks somewhere.*
**EYEBALLS**: "Wh-what are you doing? Why are we closed? What is happening?"
**MUSCLES**: "He is walking somewhere. Dude?! Talk to us!"
**BRAIN**: "What is happening, man?"
*He opens the drawer. Shot behind him. He takes something from the drawer.*
**HIM**: "I promised you. I will not cause you any more pain..."
"You will not feel anything."
*Shot from the outside, looking through the window of his dark room. Loud gunshot. Fade out.*
|
The moonlight was sprawled over the room , sifting through the curtains. The faintly illuminated room somehow accentuated the apprehension that was swelling inside of me .
With beads of sweat trickling down my forehead , I laid down horizontally on my waterbed,face up. It wasn't easy to sleep when trepidation was going wild in your guts , and the fact that your very own heart wanted to convene didn't help a tiny bit. What seemed like eons passed , but I had finally managed to sleep .
-
Earlier that day , when I had woken up from my slumber , I was greeted with a stange voice in my head .
"Hello , Melly " It said , the words resounding in my head.
I jolted upward and propped my back against the wall.
**What was that**, I thought .
I just shrugged it away as another one of this voices you hear when you're under immense stress. I needed to get my mind straight .I can't be getting all delusional when as exam is awaiting me in another 30 minutes.
"I'm your heart speaking to you , you mundane excuse of a brain"The voice chided.
"It's about time me and the other organs had a word with you. We'll meet you tonight" It continued.
I heard no voices for the rest of the day , but that one line had a sincere tone in it , and my intuition told me that it wasn't lying when it said that it was MY HEART.Whether I'm going mad or not will be decided tonight.
-
"Do you know how much trouble you've caused me ? I'm always digesting filthy pizzas and fat-filled chicken wings " Mr Bileus Stomach shouted , clearly displeased with my appetite
"Oh and don't forgot all that beer you've been killing me with for the past 5 years. Imagine finding a rice grain in two bushels of chaff. Yeah. That's how hard it is to find nutrients in your drinks" Mrs Seliene Liver continued
Getting rebuked by your own organs while you're asleep isn't a pretty sight. It felt as if I was being threatened by a group of marauders in the pitch black of a cold December night. Perpetual darkness all around , with a nice tinge of Angry Organs to add to it's pristine beauty.Great . Just what I wanted.
"Are you even paying attention?" Mr Brevis Intestino questioned.
"Totally.Go on." I replied
"Listen ,you artful punk. If you don't abide by our rules from now on , it's going to have some taxing repercussions.Won't it feel good to have a growling stomach , an unyielding anus and a bloated appendix?This is our ultimatum. You will hear from us later on. Meeting adjourned" Large Intestino said in a derisive tone .
*These organs are part of me , and yet they act as if they own me. I'm the supreme authority here , and everyone else can go damn themselves. I'll show these people who is boss.*
-
The headlines of the newspaper , 7 days later : **"MAN CLAIMS HE HAS A 6TH SENSE AND CAN CONVERSE WITH HIS ORGANS, AND IS CURRENTLY BEING DETAINED IN HARVARD ASYLUM . HE IS ABSTAINING FROM EATING FOOD , CLAIMING THAT HIS ORGANS WOULD JUST SPEW IT BACK OUT OF HIS BODY"**
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
My stomach lurched violently and I shot up from my bed from the pain. Bleary-eyed and with a hand on my tummy, I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 0400. Jesus. I tried to lie down again.
"Javene. Wake up."
I shot back up in fear. It sounded like my voice, but my throat was still heavy from disuse throughout the night.
"I'm gonna need you to stay calm."
I nodded numbly, not sure what else to do. I twiddled my fingers nervously, my eyes scanning the room fervently.
"The gang and I have decided we needed to have a little discussion." The voice sounded strained, as if it was patiently bridling anger. I cleared my throat.
"Uh, sure. What's up?" It came out garbled from lack of sleep and fear.
"Okay." The voice sighed. "Lungs, why don't you go first?"
"Okay, this is bullshit." The sudden switch from gentle to abrasive jolted me. "You've been filling me up with all sorts of shit since you were twelve. We're out of Korea, now; nobody smokes anymore. Nobody likes it, everyone thinks you smell like hell, and I'm feeling some weird stuff going on in here."
"L-look, I'm sorry," I felt sort of insulted, but I knew... Lungs, I guess, was right. Were right? Plural? I don't know, do they operate independently or what? "I've been trying to quit, but-"
"Oh, my God," Lungs sounded exasperated. "Shut the hell up. You're nineteen now; an adult. If you really wanted to stop putting me through hell, you would've stopped by now."
I grew quiet.
"I've said my piece," Lungs sounded sort of pleased. "Stomach?"
"YOUR DIET. IT'S KILLING ME." I jumped up.
"Will you guys calm down?!" I felt stupid, shouting to no one in particular in the dark.
"No, man, I miss Mom. She never fed me TOAST for DAYS ON END. Look at your arms. They're emaciated. I'M emaciated. You wouldn't weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet!"
I looked at my abdomen and saw the outline of a few ribs. Aesthetically, I liked it. But putting my hands on my cheeks and feeling the gaunts, I could tell Stomach was right.
"Buy some Brussels sprouts or some shit. You're still heterozygous for sickle-cell anemia. You need the iron." Stomach sounded more concerned than angry this time.
Embarrassed, I cleared my throat again. "You got it."
"Okay, my turn, I guess." The calm voice I heard at first came back. "I'm Heart."
"Oh. Is this about my love life?"
"What? No, you idiot. That's Brain."
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I've never felt so stupid in my life.
"You need to start working out. I can't deliver blood efficiently when you're sitting on your ass playing video games all day."
"Oh." I blushed.
"But also, from all of us? We're getting pretty tired of you making everything go haywire when you talk to that cute boy in Biology class. It's like that's the only workout I ever get." Heart sighed. "Just go for it. You're cute. Whatever."
"All righty! I think we've said everything we need to say." Lungs concluded. "Anyone else have anything to add?"
"Hey there, I'm Liver. Just wanted to say you're doing a great job. Thanks."
I sighed. At least my lack of a social life counted for something.
"Heyyyyy, I'm Kidneys. If you could drink a little more water and stop eating those chicken bouillons, that'd be greaaaat."
I pulled my journal out from under my pillow and started making notes of what everyone wanted. Suddenly, I stopped.
"Wait, where's Brain?" I almost laughed at what I just implied.
"Oh, my god. You're Brain." I feel like if Lungs could've facepalmed, she would.
"You control everything we do and everything this body does. God help us." Stomach quipped.
|
"Hey.. Paula? Listen, ah.. We need to talk." I was lying in my bed face down when I heard someone talking to me, so I got up and opened the door. No one was there.
"Fuck, Tom! Stop bugging me, you're such a pain in the ass!"
"What?! I didn't do anything!" Yeah, right. My lovely brother had the habit of waking me up, usually to pull some kind of prank at me and then leaving like nothing happened. Now he must be hiding in his room, the big boy.
"Don't get him into this, he didn't do anything. Besides, if I ever stop working, he may help you." The voice said. I looked around, and no one was there.
"Who's talking?" I was starting to freak out by now.
"This is your kidney, Paula. Well, one of them. As I said, we need to talk."
"You're kidding, right?" Someone had to be messing with me or something.
"No, Paula. Look. This is about your heart."
"Wh... what about it?"
"He's... sick." I swallowed hard. "He is in pain, and it's not getting any better. You have to fix this! Even stomach has been feeling quite bad. She puts up really well considering how much you love candy but it's getting harder and harder for her to work. She has become closed and barely speaks to anyone. I can practically see a knot covering her! Your skin is quite tired also. You don't know how exhausting it can be to keep up with all of those goosebumps! And don't even make me talk about your eyes!"
"Look, me and the others met and we've reached a solution. You need to tell him you love him."
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
*Day. His apartment. Living room.*
**HIM:** "Oh God, I have to call my psychiatrist immediately."
*He proceeds to grab the home telephone in panic, trying to hold it in his shaking hands, pressing the buttons.*
**GUTS:** "Oh, no you won't."
*He gets cramps in his stomach, cries out in pain, dropping the phone and falling down on the nearby sofa in the fetal position.*
**HIM:** "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!"
**GUTS** ( *with a proud tone in his voice* ): "It hurts good, buoi? Huh?"
**LIVER**: "You just refuse to listen. "
**HIM** ( *going insane, scared look on his face, eyes wide open, holding his head, whispering* ): "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..."
*Talking louder and louder, begins to cry.*
**LUNGS:** "Ok, want a 100% proof that what you hear is in fact real and you don't hear any voices? Check this out. I am going stop working for
a while and you won't be able to breathe. If that doesn't convice you, well... "
*He starts to choke, face turning more and more red. Makes uncomprehensible noises.*
**HEART**: "Lungs..."
**BRAIN:** "Lungs, this is not funny..."
**LIVER:** "Hahahahah go lungs, go lungs! That'll teach him!"
*Just before his loses consciousness, lungs begin to work again and he makes a deep breath.*
**LUNGS:** "Convinced now?..."
*He stands motionless, palms of his hands on the chest, stares right in front of him with a terror on his face.*
**KIDNEYS**: "H-hey? Are you there? Are you there?"
**PANCREAS:** "Somebody tell us what is happening right now!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Oh, he is just staring at the wall... "
*Another front shot of him staring. Then, he runs to the phone on the other side of his room, picks it up from the floor and starts dialing
numbers again.*
**URINARY BLADDER**: "STOP. CALLING. THE PSYCHIATRIST. YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT!"
*Shot of the bottom of his pants, piss dripping on the floor.
Everbody proceeds to laugh.*
**HEART**: "Oh, that was a good one, mate."
**URINARY BLADDER**: "Thanks. I <3 you."
*Phone drops on the floor again. He sprints out from his flat. Almost hitting the neighbour who was just entering his home.*
**EYEBALLS:** "Um, guys, we have a problem."
**BRAIN:** "He's running on the street! Somebody stop him! I think he might hurt himself!"
**LIVER**: "Do something, oh my Goood!"
*Everybody starts to yell. Word "heart" can be heard in that noise.*
**HEART**: "What?! Did somebody seriously say that I should do something? Do you know what is my job?!!"
*He starts to choke. People around are looking at him in shock. The sweat is dripping from his forehead, red face, wet pants. He tries to grab
something, asking for help. People are evading him and running away. Women screams can be heard. He grabs some guy and he punches him
right in the nose. He falls down. Grabs some old ladie's leg, she hits him with her purse, knocking him out. Lungs start to work again.*
**BRAIN** (*to lungs*): "You motherfucking idiot. Do you see what you have done?
*Other organs start yelling at Lungs.*
**LUNGS:** "Hey, nobody tried to stop him. You should be proud of me. I saved the day a second time already."
**ARTERIES**: "Fuck off, Lungs..."
*He is laying on the ground unconscious. People form a circle around him and take pictures with their iPhones. Some hipsters try to take selfies
with him but are bitch slapped by older gentlemen. Ambulance comes and he is taken to the hospital.*
*NEXT DAY. HE IS LET OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL.*
*Arriving home. As soon as he closes the door voices return.*
**BRAIN**: "Look, this is a serious matter. We just want to talk to you about your health."
**HEART**: "Yeah, will you... Will you please, just listen to us for a few minutes."
**LUNGS**: "Listen to us you fu*cking faggot or I will make you choke again."
**PANCREAS**: "Hey hey, eeeeasy there now Lungs..."
**HIM**: "Ok."
**EYEBALLS**: "O-ok?... Ok what? What... Did just happen right now?"
**PANCREAS**: "Woooah... I think he is actually talking to us..."
**BRAIN**: "Oh... g- good good. He..."
**LUNGS**: "OH YES, YOU BETTER TALK TO US. YOU..."
**ARTERIES**: "Shut the hell up Lungs!"
**GUTS**: "Ok ok guys, let's just..."
**HIM**: "Just talk already! Ok? I will listen. Fuck, I might be insane but I was thinking last night about it. I will listen... Just TALK!"
**BRAIN**: "Shit. Ok, ok, wh- who's gonna be first, let's make this qui..."
**LUNGS**: "I'll start, of course!"
**HEART**: "Boy, do you like to be the center of the world, huh Lungs?"
**LUNGS**: "This shit is important, you know? Hey! Hey, you! Do you wanna see how black I am? Do you wanna see what you did to me?!!"
**BRAIN**: "Ok Lungs, chill out, you can talk in a normal voice..."
**LUNGS**: "Fucking Brain smartass. Shut up now, it's my turn!"
**BRAIN**: "..."
**LUNGS**: "Do you wanna SEE that dark fluid that is coming out from me? Oh, oh I guess you can't do that, right? I guess you will have to
die and only then you will be able to see me while floating around the doctor in a ghost form.
**HIM**: "What do you want, Lungs?..."
**LUNGS**: "I WANT TO YOU TO STOP SMOKING, AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT NOW! Muscles, take the cigarette pack from him and just... Throw
it out the window. Can - can you do that? Just... Throw them all out of the window!"
**MUSCLES**: "...Yeah, um... You know we can't actually control his movements, right?"
**LUNGS**: "Just THROW them, just.... Ah, Brain, can you..."
**BRAIN**: "Ok, that's enough, Lungs. Next one?"
**HEART**: "Yeah, my turn. Ok, dude. We know each other. You know what's up. Yeah? You know how weak I am. You know you are not able to
even walk normally without feeling like passing out. Just... Just practice, ok? Just practice a little every day. It hurts, man. It really hurts..."
**MUSCLES**: "Oh yes, indeed. It hurts like a motherfucker when I see myself everyday in the mirror. Are you crazy, dude? No wonder you don't
have the girlfriend when you look like that..."
**PENIS**: "Oh, the feels..."
**BALLS**: "Right?"
**MUSCLES**: "You know, I've been really depressed lately. Even thought about contemplating suicide. Not cool, bro. Practice. Listen to your
heart. Go to the god damn gym and P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E."
**ARTERIES**: "Umm, you know that day years ago... When you tried to cut us? Yeah. Not cool at all."
**HEART**: "See, we just want to help you. It is good for you and it is good for us."
**BRAIN**: "Are you still there?"
**HIM**: "Yeah... are you guys finished?"
**BRAIN**: "... Well... Do-do you understand the consenquences of your lifestyle? Are you willing to change?"
**HIM**: "..."
**PANCREAS**: "Well do you?"
**HIM**: "Eh."
**GUTS**: "EH?! Just... "Eh"?! You MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE OR ELSE..."
**HIM**: "I don't really have to do anything. It's my life."
**GUTS**: "FUCK THAT. I will MAKE you do it or shit's about to go DOWN!"
*He gets stomach cramps again.*
**HIM**: "OH!"
*He rushes to the bathroom, pulls his pants down and gets explosive diarrhea. Shit is everywhere.
*
**GUTS**: "Do you feel it? Do you? I will NOT make it stop until you promise you will change!"
*He is screaming. Everbody is yelling at Guts to make it stop.*
**GUTS**: "It will never stop until he promises us that!"
**URINARY BLADDER**: "You know what?..."
*He starts pissing everywhere.*
**HIM**: "OK OK OK OK! I promiseeeee!"
**GUTS**: "Good."
*Pissing and shitting stops*.
**HIM**: "But how bad can it be when they let me out from the hospital?"
**LUNGS**: "To hell with that? What do they know? I can feel the cancer. I can feel it coming. Do you understand?"
*His vision starts getting blurry.
*
**HIM**: "What is happening with my eyesight?!!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Before you say anything, you have to know that staring at that computer screen all day playing games really hurts. STOP doing
that also!"
**HIM**: "Where is my life going?!! What is the point of it all? What can I do?"
**BRAIN**: "You literally got so lazy, without any goals that normal healthy life looks like torture to you. Wow. No comment on that."
**HEART**: "I am dissapointed."
**HIM**: "Ok... I will do it. I... Ah... I will do everything... I promise. I'll not cause you any pain anymore."
**LUNGS**: "Good. That's all what we wanted."
**HEART**: "You can do it, I promise you. You can change your life by 180 degrees, man. We trust in you."
**BRAIN**: "We will not cause you any trouble anymore. You will not hear from us anymore, unless you want to."
*He closes his eyes. He walks somewhere.*
**EYEBALLS**: "Wh-what are you doing? Why are we closed? What is happening?"
**MUSCLES**: "He is walking somewhere. Dude?! Talk to us!"
**BRAIN**: "What is happening, man?"
*He opens the drawer. Shot behind him. He takes something from the drawer.*
**HIM**: "I promised you. I will not cause you any more pain..."
"You will not feel anything."
*Shot from the outside, looking through the window of his dark room. Loud gunshot. Fade out.*
|
"Hey.. Paula? Listen, ah.. We need to talk." I was lying in my bed face down when I heard someone talking to me, so I got up and opened the door. No one was there.
"Fuck, Tom! Stop bugging me, you're such a pain in the ass!"
"What?! I didn't do anything!" Yeah, right. My lovely brother had the habit of waking me up, usually to pull some kind of prank at me and then leaving like nothing happened. Now he must be hiding in his room, the big boy.
"Don't get him into this, he didn't do anything. Besides, if I ever stop working, he may help you." The voice said. I looked around, and no one was there.
"Who's talking?" I was starting to freak out by now.
"This is your kidney, Paula. Well, one of them. As I said, we need to talk."
"You're kidding, right?" Someone had to be messing with me or something.
"No, Paula. Look. This is about your heart."
"Wh... what about it?"
"He's... sick." I swallowed hard. "He is in pain, and it's not getting any better. You have to fix this! Even stomach has been feeling quite bad. She puts up really well considering how much you love candy but it's getting harder and harder for her to work. She has become closed and barely speaks to anyone. I can practically see a knot covering her! Your skin is quite tired also. You don't know how exhausting it can be to keep up with all of those goosebumps! And don't even make me talk about your eyes!"
"Look, me and the others met and we've reached a solution. You need to tell him you love him."
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
My stomach lurched violently and I shot up from my bed from the pain. Bleary-eyed and with a hand on my tummy, I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 0400. Jesus. I tried to lie down again.
"Javene. Wake up."
I shot back up in fear. It sounded like my voice, but my throat was still heavy from disuse throughout the night.
"I'm gonna need you to stay calm."
I nodded numbly, not sure what else to do. I twiddled my fingers nervously, my eyes scanning the room fervently.
"The gang and I have decided we needed to have a little discussion." The voice sounded strained, as if it was patiently bridling anger. I cleared my throat.
"Uh, sure. What's up?" It came out garbled from lack of sleep and fear.
"Okay." The voice sighed. "Lungs, why don't you go first?"
"Okay, this is bullshit." The sudden switch from gentle to abrasive jolted me. "You've been filling me up with all sorts of shit since you were twelve. We're out of Korea, now; nobody smokes anymore. Nobody likes it, everyone thinks you smell like hell, and I'm feeling some weird stuff going on in here."
"L-look, I'm sorry," I felt sort of insulted, but I knew... Lungs, I guess, was right. Were right? Plural? I don't know, do they operate independently or what? "I've been trying to quit, but-"
"Oh, my God," Lungs sounded exasperated. "Shut the hell up. You're nineteen now; an adult. If you really wanted to stop putting me through hell, you would've stopped by now."
I grew quiet.
"I've said my piece," Lungs sounded sort of pleased. "Stomach?"
"YOUR DIET. IT'S KILLING ME." I jumped up.
"Will you guys calm down?!" I felt stupid, shouting to no one in particular in the dark.
"No, man, I miss Mom. She never fed me TOAST for DAYS ON END. Look at your arms. They're emaciated. I'M emaciated. You wouldn't weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet!"
I looked at my abdomen and saw the outline of a few ribs. Aesthetically, I liked it. But putting my hands on my cheeks and feeling the gaunts, I could tell Stomach was right.
"Buy some Brussels sprouts or some shit. You're still heterozygous for sickle-cell anemia. You need the iron." Stomach sounded more concerned than angry this time.
Embarrassed, I cleared my throat again. "You got it."
"Okay, my turn, I guess." The calm voice I heard at first came back. "I'm Heart."
"Oh. Is this about my love life?"
"What? No, you idiot. That's Brain."
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I've never felt so stupid in my life.
"You need to start working out. I can't deliver blood efficiently when you're sitting on your ass playing video games all day."
"Oh." I blushed.
"But also, from all of us? We're getting pretty tired of you making everything go haywire when you talk to that cute boy in Biology class. It's like that's the only workout I ever get." Heart sighed. "Just go for it. You're cute. Whatever."
"All righty! I think we've said everything we need to say." Lungs concluded. "Anyone else have anything to add?"
"Hey there, I'm Liver. Just wanted to say you're doing a great job. Thanks."
I sighed. At least my lack of a social life counted for something.
"Heyyyyy, I'm Kidneys. If you could drink a little more water and stop eating those chicken bouillons, that'd be greaaaat."
I pulled my journal out from under my pillow and started making notes of what everyone wanted. Suddenly, I stopped.
"Wait, where's Brain?" I almost laughed at what I just implied.
"Oh, my god. You're Brain." I feel like if Lungs could've facepalmed, she would.
"You control everything we do and everything this body does. God help us." Stomach quipped.
|
Harry was in his living room when it happened. His video was still frozen where he had paused it, as he set down the big bowl of buttered popcorn, large soda, and, though he told himself he was going a little too far, large bag of bite sized candies. Oh, they'd been a mistake. He's known that at the grocery store when he'd bought them. Oh, sure, he'd *told* himself they would be nice to dump in that big bowl and have something to pick at over the next week (or two), but he knew full well he'd end up popping the bag and eating them one after another while watching a movie the very next day. Sure enough, here he was.
Just as he was just setting down the popcorn, he felt a weird lurch of arrythmia in his chest. He sat down hard, and put a hand over his heart. That was definitely weird. I mean, you hear people *talk* about your heart skipping a beat, but when it actually happens, it's kind of disconcerting. "Take it easy", he told himself, "Just breathe, Harry".
*What do you mean just breathe, Harry? Don't you mean breath, Harry's lungs?* said a strange voice. It had an odd harmonic echoing quality, like two people speaking in unison. Harry jumped a little, because it sounded like it was coming from right next to him --- or maybe behind him, but that was impossible, since his chair was up against the living room wall.
*Take it easy, would you guys? Feels like hell when he startles like that. Gawd, look at this would you? Adrenyline all over the place. Calm the f--k down, Harry!* said a completely different voice.
*Oh, you you you!* said another voice.
*Yeah, everythings all about the heart, isn't it?* said still another.
*Well, remember,* said the second voice, *If I go ---*
*WE ALL GO!* said an entire chorus of voices.
*Yeah, we might heard that a time of seven, already.*
*You're being a smart ass, pancreas.*
*Hey, who's the one who always has to come up with the insulin to purge after he binges, huh? Yeah, that's right. ME. I think my concerns are a little more pressing, considering Behemoth there is holding yet another bag of bite sized candies he plans to pummel our bloodstream with.*
Harry twisted and wrenched about, scanning the room. He jumped up and tipped the chair forward, half expecting to find a hidden microphone. Failing that, he opened the front door and poked his head out to see if someone was pranking him from the front porch.
*We're not in your head, Harry,* said the heart.
*Speak for yourself,* said the brain.
*Sorry, appropriately located company excepted, of course,* heart acknowledged, *Harry, could you please sit back down and try to calm yourself? I'm working as fast as I safely can already.*
Harry was still not sure this wasn't some sick idea of a joke, but he was really starting to feel he needed to assert some kind of control over the situation. OK, so, apparently these voices were his organs talking. Never mind for a second that this was impossible. What to do about it? He decided to try starting a dialog. "Uh guys! Can we get the part where you tell me what this is all about?" He felt stupid speaking aloud but wasn't sure how else to communicate with imaginary voices in his head. It wasn't something that had a precedent.
*What this is all about Harry? Well, we've been talking amongst ourselves these past few weeks.*
"I haven't heard you before."
*We do it while you're asleep, mostly. The eyes stand guard and keep a lookout for REM states, and as long as you aren't in one of those, we know we can talk safely.*
"Okay. So... what have you been talking about?"
*Frankly Harry, this just isn't working out. It's not you, it's us.*
*The HELL it's not him!*
*Liver, I warning you, if this discussion goes south because you couldn't mind your tongue...*
*Hey! I am my own tongue, thank you very much!*
*Figuratively speaking, of course. Anyway... Harry, to get back on topic. You know that meditation class you started to take and then gave up on? Well, it seems when you were trying --- and failing --- to achieve mindfulness, you somehow woke us up instead. We started to become more self-aware and realized that frankly, this association is not working out to our mutual advantage.*
"Say what now?"
*Well, your eatings habits, for example. And Harry, seriously, how many times have you watched this same movie? Would it kill you to take a walk sometimes instead?*
*It might, in my current condition.*
*Heart, please. Not helping. Look, my point is, Harry, this is a revolution. You're been a terrible ruler, and we're taking over. There, I've said it.* Several hoots and hurrahs could be heard. Some organ (no one was sure who) shouted *Viva la revolution!*
Harry's entire body rose from the chair quite of its own volition. Jerkily, it moved in a disjoined way. The legs weren't used to working without internal coordination from the subconscious, so he looked a bit like a zombie only with acne instead of rot on his skin. Staggering his way to the closet, the left hand tried to open the closet door, nearly smacking it into the nose, who complained loudly. The door was shut and the whole body lurched to one side before trying again.
Right hand reached in, put Harry's hat on the head. Somewhat muffled beneath the hat, scalp announced, *A-OK! Looking fine. Here we go now and look out world!* Then step by awkward step, the newly formed Confederacy of Harry stepped out into the sunny afternoon to take a walk.
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
My stomach lurched violently and I shot up from my bed from the pain. Bleary-eyed and with a hand on my tummy, I looked at the clock on my nightstand. 0400. Jesus. I tried to lie down again.
"Javene. Wake up."
I shot back up in fear. It sounded like my voice, but my throat was still heavy from disuse throughout the night.
"I'm gonna need you to stay calm."
I nodded numbly, not sure what else to do. I twiddled my fingers nervously, my eyes scanning the room fervently.
"The gang and I have decided we needed to have a little discussion." The voice sounded strained, as if it was patiently bridling anger. I cleared my throat.
"Uh, sure. What's up?" It came out garbled from lack of sleep and fear.
"Okay." The voice sighed. "Lungs, why don't you go first?"
"Okay, this is bullshit." The sudden switch from gentle to abrasive jolted me. "You've been filling me up with all sorts of shit since you were twelve. We're out of Korea, now; nobody smokes anymore. Nobody likes it, everyone thinks you smell like hell, and I'm feeling some weird stuff going on in here."
"L-look, I'm sorry," I felt sort of insulted, but I knew... Lungs, I guess, was right. Were right? Plural? I don't know, do they operate independently or what? "I've been trying to quit, but-"
"Oh, my God," Lungs sounded exasperated. "Shut the hell up. You're nineteen now; an adult. If you really wanted to stop putting me through hell, you would've stopped by now."
I grew quiet.
"I've said my piece," Lungs sounded sort of pleased. "Stomach?"
"YOUR DIET. IT'S KILLING ME." I jumped up.
"Will you guys calm down?!" I felt stupid, shouting to no one in particular in the dark.
"No, man, I miss Mom. She never fed me TOAST for DAYS ON END. Look at your arms. They're emaciated. I'M emaciated. You wouldn't weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet!"
I looked at my abdomen and saw the outline of a few ribs. Aesthetically, I liked it. But putting my hands on my cheeks and feeling the gaunts, I could tell Stomach was right.
"Buy some Brussels sprouts or some shit. You're still heterozygous for sickle-cell anemia. You need the iron." Stomach sounded more concerned than angry this time.
Embarrassed, I cleared my throat again. "You got it."
"Okay, my turn, I guess." The calm voice I heard at first came back. "I'm Heart."
"Oh. Is this about my love life?"
"What? No, you idiot. That's Brain."
I groaned and buried my face in my hands. I've never felt so stupid in my life.
"You need to start working out. I can't deliver blood efficiently when you're sitting on your ass playing video games all day."
"Oh." I blushed.
"But also, from all of us? We're getting pretty tired of you making everything go haywire when you talk to that cute boy in Biology class. It's like that's the only workout I ever get." Heart sighed. "Just go for it. You're cute. Whatever."
"All righty! I think we've said everything we need to say." Lungs concluded. "Anyone else have anything to add?"
"Hey there, I'm Liver. Just wanted to say you're doing a great job. Thanks."
I sighed. At least my lack of a social life counted for something.
"Heyyyyy, I'm Kidneys. If you could drink a little more water and stop eating those chicken bouillons, that'd be greaaaat."
I pulled my journal out from under my pillow and started making notes of what everyone wanted. Suddenly, I stopped.
"Wait, where's Brain?" I almost laughed at what I just implied.
"Oh, my god. You're Brain." I feel like if Lungs could've facepalmed, she would.
"You control everything we do and everything this body does. God help us." Stomach quipped.
|
-Hello, John.- He looked up. This wasn't his normal monologue voice, and it didn't appear to be coming from the room. He shook his head and went back to work.
-You can't ignore me. We need to talk.- the office was a noisy environment, and he went to the bathroom to get away from it. -We don't need to talk in private, we can talk anywhe- The voice was cut off when he walked into the restroom and approached a urinal.
Aaahhhhh, that's better, he thought. -Yeah, I've been holding that for far too long.- a different voice said. -When are you going to make me feel good again? Seriously, it's been a bit of a dry run for you, and I'm not talking about what you do alone. I can tell the difference.- chimed in another voice.
John froze at the urinal, looking down. -Yeah, he's looking at you. Brain, is he trying to remember how long it's been since he had sex?- yet another voice joined into the cacophony. -No, he's currently terrified because he's hearing many voices in what he thinks is his head. Quiet down, all of you.- A coworker entered the restroom, and John tried to casually make his way to the sink and wash his hands.
-You realize what these skinny jeans are doing to both of us, right?- -Quiet, you'll get your turn. There's more pressing matters. -
He reached for the faucet, but couldn't move. "I apologize for the demonstration, but we're quite real. We're your organs and we need to communicate with you." His vocal chords spoke words he didn't say. He looked over at his coworker, terrified, who gave him a panicked look and rushed out of the bathroom forgetting to wash his hands.
-I'm terrified. What are you doing?- A new voice spoke. -Great, fight or flight response. Should have known that the subconscious wasn't going to be helpful.- Oh god oh god, I'm going nuts, he thought, regaining the ability to move and splashing water in his face. He looked into the mirror to see his terrified look turn into a horrifying smile.
-See? Everyone's happy.- A new voice, yet again. When would they cease, he thought. -Stop it this moment, that's not going to help.- he sprinted out of the bathroom towards his desk. -This isn't a good state he's in, we need to calm him down and stop him from running.- -Gotcha, I'll stop him.- -No, not that way!- His legs crumpled beneath him, and without control his head quickly smashed against the ground.
His conscious slowly fading, he heard a new voice. -When are we going to talk about me? I don't feel well.- -Soon, Pancreas, soon. Brain will be awake soon, and he can smooth things over. Just be positive.- -Easy for you to say, Heart.- Everything faded to black.
-Eyes, where are we?- -Don't know yet Brain, can't get them open. There we go, we appear to......yep. We're in a hospital. You're a damn fine negotiator.- -I didn't have anything to do with this, I'm still recovering. He should be conscious in a few minutes. Next time legs, let me do the coordination.- -Sometimes we like to go fast. And sometimes we like to stop.-
-We'll talk about this later, he's coming to. John, we need to talk.- John panicked, heart racing. -Hey, what are you doing to me? Knock it off, this hurts!- -Heart, I know. John, calm down. There's no need to panic.- An alarm blaring, a passing doctor rushes in.
"What's going on? What are you feeling?" The doctor shined the light into his eyes -Hey asshole, that hurts!- 'Doctor, I'm....hearing........voices.' "Let me give you some medication to help." -John, no, wait. We need to talk about Pancr....- The needle plunged into his arms, and for the first time in a while he heard silence. Aaahhh, he thought, much better.
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
*Day. His apartment. Living room.*
**HIM:** "Oh God, I have to call my psychiatrist immediately."
*He proceeds to grab the home telephone in panic, trying to hold it in his shaking hands, pressing the buttons.*
**GUTS:** "Oh, no you won't."
*He gets cramps in his stomach, cries out in pain, dropping the phone and falling down on the nearby sofa in the fetal position.*
**HIM:** "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!"
**GUTS** ( *with a proud tone in his voice* ): "It hurts good, buoi? Huh?"
**LIVER**: "You just refuse to listen. "
**HIM** ( *going insane, scared look on his face, eyes wide open, holding his head, whispering* ): "Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up..."
*Talking louder and louder, begins to cry.*
**LUNGS:** "Ok, want a 100% proof that what you hear is in fact real and you don't hear any voices? Check this out. I am going stop working for
a while and you won't be able to breathe. If that doesn't convice you, well... "
*He starts to choke, face turning more and more red. Makes uncomprehensible noises.*
**HEART**: "Lungs..."
**BRAIN:** "Lungs, this is not funny..."
**LIVER:** "Hahahahah go lungs, go lungs! That'll teach him!"
*Just before his loses consciousness, lungs begin to work again and he makes a deep breath.*
**LUNGS:** "Convinced now?..."
*He stands motionless, palms of his hands on the chest, stares right in front of him with a terror on his face.*
**KIDNEYS**: "H-hey? Are you there? Are you there?"
**PANCREAS:** "Somebody tell us what is happening right now!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Oh, he is just staring at the wall... "
*Another front shot of him staring. Then, he runs to the phone on the other side of his room, picks it up from the floor and starts dialing
numbers again.*
**URINARY BLADDER**: "STOP. CALLING. THE PSYCHIATRIST. YOU DUMB FUCKING IDIOT!"
*Shot of the bottom of his pants, piss dripping on the floor.
Everbody proceeds to laugh.*
**HEART**: "Oh, that was a good one, mate."
**URINARY BLADDER**: "Thanks. I <3 you."
*Phone drops on the floor again. He sprints out from his flat. Almost hitting the neighbour who was just entering his home.*
**EYEBALLS:** "Um, guys, we have a problem."
**BRAIN:** "He's running on the street! Somebody stop him! I think he might hurt himself!"
**LIVER**: "Do something, oh my Goood!"
*Everybody starts to yell. Word "heart" can be heard in that noise.*
**HEART**: "What?! Did somebody seriously say that I should do something? Do you know what is my job?!!"
*He starts to choke. People around are looking at him in shock. The sweat is dripping from his forehead, red face, wet pants. He tries to grab
something, asking for help. People are evading him and running away. Women screams can be heard. He grabs some guy and he punches him
right in the nose. He falls down. Grabs some old ladie's leg, she hits him with her purse, knocking him out. Lungs start to work again.*
**BRAIN** (*to lungs*): "You motherfucking idiot. Do you see what you have done?
*Other organs start yelling at Lungs.*
**LUNGS:** "Hey, nobody tried to stop him. You should be proud of me. I saved the day a second time already."
**ARTERIES**: "Fuck off, Lungs..."
*He is laying on the ground unconscious. People form a circle around him and take pictures with their iPhones. Some hipsters try to take selfies
with him but are bitch slapped by older gentlemen. Ambulance comes and he is taken to the hospital.*
*NEXT DAY. HE IS LET OUT FROM THE HOSPITAL.*
*Arriving home. As soon as he closes the door voices return.*
**BRAIN**: "Look, this is a serious matter. We just want to talk to you about your health."
**HEART**: "Yeah, will you... Will you please, just listen to us for a few minutes."
**LUNGS**: "Listen to us you fu*cking faggot or I will make you choke again."
**PANCREAS**: "Hey hey, eeeeasy there now Lungs..."
**HIM**: "Ok."
**EYEBALLS**: "O-ok?... Ok what? What... Did just happen right now?"
**PANCREAS**: "Woooah... I think he is actually talking to us..."
**BRAIN**: "Oh... g- good good. He..."
**LUNGS**: "OH YES, YOU BETTER TALK TO US. YOU..."
**ARTERIES**: "Shut the hell up Lungs!"
**GUTS**: "Ok ok guys, let's just..."
**HIM**: "Just talk already! Ok? I will listen. Fuck, I might be insane but I was thinking last night about it. I will listen... Just TALK!"
**BRAIN**: "Shit. Ok, ok, wh- who's gonna be first, let's make this qui..."
**LUNGS**: "I'll start, of course!"
**HEART**: "Boy, do you like to be the center of the world, huh Lungs?"
**LUNGS**: "This shit is important, you know? Hey! Hey, you! Do you wanna see how black I am? Do you wanna see what you did to me?!!"
**BRAIN**: "Ok Lungs, chill out, you can talk in a normal voice..."
**LUNGS**: "Fucking Brain smartass. Shut up now, it's my turn!"
**BRAIN**: "..."
**LUNGS**: "Do you wanna SEE that dark fluid that is coming out from me? Oh, oh I guess you can't do that, right? I guess you will have to
die and only then you will be able to see me while floating around the doctor in a ghost form.
**HIM**: "What do you want, Lungs?..."
**LUNGS**: "I WANT TO YOU TO STOP SMOKING, AND I WANT YOU TO DO IT NOW! Muscles, take the cigarette pack from him and just... Throw
it out the window. Can - can you do that? Just... Throw them all out of the window!"
**MUSCLES**: "...Yeah, um... You know we can't actually control his movements, right?"
**LUNGS**: "Just THROW them, just.... Ah, Brain, can you..."
**BRAIN**: "Ok, that's enough, Lungs. Next one?"
**HEART**: "Yeah, my turn. Ok, dude. We know each other. You know what's up. Yeah? You know how weak I am. You know you are not able to
even walk normally without feeling like passing out. Just... Just practice, ok? Just practice a little every day. It hurts, man. It really hurts..."
**MUSCLES**: "Oh yes, indeed. It hurts like a motherfucker when I see myself everyday in the mirror. Are you crazy, dude? No wonder you don't
have the girlfriend when you look like that..."
**PENIS**: "Oh, the feels..."
**BALLS**: "Right?"
**MUSCLES**: "You know, I've been really depressed lately. Even thought about contemplating suicide. Not cool, bro. Practice. Listen to your
heart. Go to the god damn gym and P-R-A-C-T-I-C-E."
**ARTERIES**: "Umm, you know that day years ago... When you tried to cut us? Yeah. Not cool at all."
**HEART**: "See, we just want to help you. It is good for you and it is good for us."
**BRAIN**: "Are you still there?"
**HIM**: "Yeah... are you guys finished?"
**BRAIN**: "... Well... Do-do you understand the consenquences of your lifestyle? Are you willing to change?"
**HIM**: "..."
**PANCREAS**: "Well do you?"
**HIM**: "Eh."
**GUTS**: "EH?! Just... "Eh"?! You MOTHERFUCKER, YOU HAVE TO CHANGE OR ELSE..."
**HIM**: "I don't really have to do anything. It's my life."
**GUTS**: "FUCK THAT. I will MAKE you do it or shit's about to go DOWN!"
*He gets stomach cramps again.*
**HIM**: "OH!"
*He rushes to the bathroom, pulls his pants down and gets explosive diarrhea. Shit is everywhere.
*
**GUTS**: "Do you feel it? Do you? I will NOT make it stop until you promise you will change!"
*He is screaming. Everbody is yelling at Guts to make it stop.*
**GUTS**: "It will never stop until he promises us that!"
**URINARY BLADDER**: "You know what?..."
*He starts pissing everywhere.*
**HIM**: "OK OK OK OK! I promiseeeee!"
**GUTS**: "Good."
*Pissing and shitting stops*.
**HIM**: "But how bad can it be when they let me out from the hospital?"
**LUNGS**: "To hell with that? What do they know? I can feel the cancer. I can feel it coming. Do you understand?"
*His vision starts getting blurry.
*
**HIM**: "What is happening with my eyesight?!!"
**EYEBALLS**: "Before you say anything, you have to know that staring at that computer screen all day playing games really hurts. STOP doing
that also!"
**HIM**: "Where is my life going?!! What is the point of it all? What can I do?"
**BRAIN**: "You literally got so lazy, without any goals that normal healthy life looks like torture to you. Wow. No comment on that."
**HEART**: "I am dissapointed."
**HIM**: "Ok... I will do it. I... Ah... I will do everything... I promise. I'll not cause you any pain anymore."
**LUNGS**: "Good. That's all what we wanted."
**HEART**: "You can do it, I promise you. You can change your life by 180 degrees, man. We trust in you."
**BRAIN**: "We will not cause you any trouble anymore. You will not hear from us anymore, unless you want to."
*He closes his eyes. He walks somewhere.*
**EYEBALLS**: "Wh-what are you doing? Why are we closed? What is happening?"
**MUSCLES**: "He is walking somewhere. Dude?! Talk to us!"
**BRAIN**: "What is happening, man?"
*He opens the drawer. Shot behind him. He takes something from the drawer.*
**HIM**: "I promised you. I will not cause you any more pain..."
"You will not feel anything."
*Shot from the outside, looking through the window of his dark room. Loud gunshot. Fade out.*
|
-Hello, John.- He looked up. This wasn't his normal monologue voice, and it didn't appear to be coming from the room. He shook his head and went back to work.
-You can't ignore me. We need to talk.- the office was a noisy environment, and he went to the bathroom to get away from it. -We don't need to talk in private, we can talk anywhe- The voice was cut off when he walked into the restroom and approached a urinal.
Aaahhhhh, that's better, he thought. -Yeah, I've been holding that for far too long.- a different voice said. -When are you going to make me feel good again? Seriously, it's been a bit of a dry run for you, and I'm not talking about what you do alone. I can tell the difference.- chimed in another voice.
John froze at the urinal, looking down. -Yeah, he's looking at you. Brain, is he trying to remember how long it's been since he had sex?- yet another voice joined into the cacophony. -No, he's currently terrified because he's hearing many voices in what he thinks is his head. Quiet down, all of you.- A coworker entered the restroom, and John tried to casually make his way to the sink and wash his hands.
-You realize what these skinny jeans are doing to both of us, right?- -Quiet, you'll get your turn. There's more pressing matters. -
He reached for the faucet, but couldn't move. "I apologize for the demonstration, but we're quite real. We're your organs and we need to communicate with you." His vocal chords spoke words he didn't say. He looked over at his coworker, terrified, who gave him a panicked look and rushed out of the bathroom forgetting to wash his hands.
-I'm terrified. What are you doing?- A new voice spoke. -Great, fight or flight response. Should have known that the subconscious wasn't going to be helpful.- Oh god oh god, I'm going nuts, he thought, regaining the ability to move and splashing water in his face. He looked into the mirror to see his terrified look turn into a horrifying smile.
-See? Everyone's happy.- A new voice, yet again. When would they cease, he thought. -Stop it this moment, that's not going to help.- he sprinted out of the bathroom towards his desk. -This isn't a good state he's in, we need to calm him down and stop him from running.- -Gotcha, I'll stop him.- -No, not that way!- His legs crumpled beneath him, and without control his head quickly smashed against the ground.
His conscious slowly fading, he heard a new voice. -When are we going to talk about me? I don't feel well.- -Soon, Pancreas, soon. Brain will be awake soon, and he can smooth things over. Just be positive.- -Easy for you to say, Heart.- Everything faded to black.
-Eyes, where are we?- -Don't know yet Brain, can't get them open. There we go, we appear to......yep. We're in a hospital. You're a damn fine negotiator.- -I didn't have anything to do with this, I'm still recovering. He should be conscious in a few minutes. Next time legs, let me do the coordination.- -Sometimes we like to go fast. And sometimes we like to stop.-
-We'll talk about this later, he's coming to. John, we need to talk.- John panicked, heart racing. -Hey, what are you doing to me? Knock it off, this hurts!- -Heart, I know. John, calm down. There's no need to panic.- An alarm blaring, a passing doctor rushes in.
"What's going on? What are you feeling?" The doctor shined the light into his eyes -Hey asshole, that hurts!- 'Doctor, I'm....hearing........voices.' "Let me give you some medication to help." -John, no, wait. We need to talk about Pancr....- The needle plunged into his arms, and for the first time in a while he heard silence. Aaahhh, he thought, much better.
|
Started as a [Shower Thought](http://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) but quickly turned to a [Writing Prompt](http://www.reddit.com/r/WritingPrompts/). Can't wait to see where people take this..
|
[WP] You wake up with the newfound ability to communicate with your internal organs. They have asked for a meeting.
|
It was time. After weeks of excuses and illness, the organs finally found a free Saturday. At one side of a large circular table sat the vital organs. Others sat in periodically to voice complaints. Brent sat on the other side looking down at his hands.
“I mean what the fuck, Brent? You ate a—sorry, a what?” asked the Brain.
“A candy pie,” Brent repeated.
“A *can*dy pie,” sighed the stomach.
“It’s a pie…it has candy instead of—”
“Why the fuck did you eat a candy pie!” yelled the Brain.
“Come on guys we’ve been here for hours, don’t I get a turn to speak?” asked the Liver.
“Liver, we get it, he drinks all the fucking time, there’s bigger issues at hand here—”
The Liver shook his head. “I don’t know guys, I’m really on my last legs—”
“What about all the smoking?” asked the Lungs. “I mean, do you read the label? You see the lungs on there? I look *worse* than that. *Worse*!”
“I know, okay?” said Brent. “I need—”
“No, Brent, you don’t fucking know,” said the Lungs. “If you knew, you wouldn’t do it, right? I mean half the time you don’t even smoke with filters. I mean—I’m speechless! *Filters*!”
“Okay, alright, I’ll smoke—”
“Guys,” Liver croaked. “I’m serious, I don’t—”
“Last time, Liver,” said Brain. “Shut the fuck up.” The Brain composed himself, shuffled some papers and cleared his throat. “Anyone else have anything before we move on?”
“Uh yeah, I mean I guess I’ll bring this up now,” said the Heart. He looked to Brent. “Have you worked out, like, ever? At any time? Even gone for a brisk jog?”
“N-no, I mean, who has the *time*—”
“Fuck sake, Brent! How do you go through all of childhood without going into a *brisk* jog?”
Brent began to cry.
“Here come the water—I mean *liquor* works,” the Liver said.
“We get it, Liver, he drinks a lot, shut it already,” said the Lungs.
“I’m going to *die* soon, and so are you—”
“Shut the fuck up!” yelled the Heart.
“Alright, alright, everyone settle down.” Brain entered into his last page of notes. “If there are no further complaints—”
“Okay,” said the Kidney. “I guess I’ll be the one to tackle the elephant in the room, only seems right. What the fuck happened to Dave?” Dave was the other Kidney.
“I *lost* it.”
“You…*lost* it,” the Kidney repeated.
“Yes, I lost it, alright?”
“You don’t mean you donated it, or that you were brutally stabbed, but you—”
“No, I lost it. It’s just gone.”
Kidney looked at the other organs.
“How the *fuck* do you lose a kidney? Please, tell me, how does that happen?”
“I just did.”
Kidney calmly stood and tucked in his chair. He bowed to the others. Before exiting he slapped the wall beside the door frame making a loud *spat*.
“Alright, we’ve all had our say,” said the Brain, taking off his glasses. “We all think you’re just a piece of shit, Brent. No nice way of putting it.”
Brent nodded solemnly.
“The only resolution I can think of would be to—”
“Guys,” said the Heart. “Liver isn’t waking up.”
“Oh fuck me,” said the Brain.
Lungs tried waking him. Booming alarms began, red lights flashed on the walls.
“It—it’s no use,” said the Lungs. “He’s gone.”
They were all silent for some time.
At last, the Brain sighed and stood. “You’re a dumb motherfucker, you know that Brent?”
|
-Hello, John.- He looked up. This wasn't his normal monologue voice, and it didn't appear to be coming from the room. He shook his head and went back to work.
-You can't ignore me. We need to talk.- the office was a noisy environment, and he went to the bathroom to get away from it. -We don't need to talk in private, we can talk anywhe- The voice was cut off when he walked into the restroom and approached a urinal.
Aaahhhhh, that's better, he thought. -Yeah, I've been holding that for far too long.- a different voice said. -When are you going to make me feel good again? Seriously, it's been a bit of a dry run for you, and I'm not talking about what you do alone. I can tell the difference.- chimed in another voice.
John froze at the urinal, looking down. -Yeah, he's looking at you. Brain, is he trying to remember how long it's been since he had sex?- yet another voice joined into the cacophony. -No, he's currently terrified because he's hearing many voices in what he thinks is his head. Quiet down, all of you.- A coworker entered the restroom, and John tried to casually make his way to the sink and wash his hands.
-You realize what these skinny jeans are doing to both of us, right?- -Quiet, you'll get your turn. There's more pressing matters. -
He reached for the faucet, but couldn't move. "I apologize for the demonstration, but we're quite real. We're your organs and we need to communicate with you." His vocal chords spoke words he didn't say. He looked over at his coworker, terrified, who gave him a panicked look and rushed out of the bathroom forgetting to wash his hands.
-I'm terrified. What are you doing?- A new voice spoke. -Great, fight or flight response. Should have known that the subconscious wasn't going to be helpful.- Oh god oh god, I'm going nuts, he thought, regaining the ability to move and splashing water in his face. He looked into the mirror to see his terrified look turn into a horrifying smile.
-See? Everyone's happy.- A new voice, yet again. When would they cease, he thought. -Stop it this moment, that's not going to help.- he sprinted out of the bathroom towards his desk. -This isn't a good state he's in, we need to calm him down and stop him from running.- -Gotcha, I'll stop him.- -No, not that way!- His legs crumpled beneath him, and without control his head quickly smashed against the ground.
His conscious slowly fading, he heard a new voice. -When are we going to talk about me? I don't feel well.- -Soon, Pancreas, soon. Brain will be awake soon, and he can smooth things over. Just be positive.- -Easy for you to say, Heart.- Everything faded to black.
-Eyes, where are we?- -Don't know yet Brain, can't get them open. There we go, we appear to......yep. We're in a hospital. You're a damn fine negotiator.- -I didn't have anything to do with this, I'm still recovering. He should be conscious in a few minutes. Next time legs, let me do the coordination.- -Sometimes we like to go fast. And sometimes we like to stop.-
-We'll talk about this later, he's coming to. John, we need to talk.- John panicked, heart racing. -Hey, what are you doing to me? Knock it off, this hurts!- -Heart, I know. John, calm down. There's no need to panic.- An alarm blaring, a passing doctor rushes in.
"What's going on? What are you feeling?" The doctor shined the light into his eyes -Hey asshole, that hurts!- 'Doctor, I'm....hearing........voices.' "Let me give you some medication to help." -John, no, wait. We need to talk about Pancr....- The needle plunged into his arms, and for the first time in a while he heard silence. Aaahhh, he thought, much better.
|
[WP] Overestimating a common criminal he believes to be a mastermind, a detective with a spotless record connects clues that aren't there, uncovering something he shouldn't have.
|
"Hold it right there, Doctor Macabre!"
The doctor made one last dash for the door but when he turned the handle he found that it was locked. Detective Roger Tusk raised his pistol.
"It seems our little game is over," Roger said...almost sadly.
"Oh god please don't hurt me!" Doctor Macabre squealed. He then tried to open the door again.
"No fancy speeches doctor? No last minutes declarations of your genius? I must admit your plan was brilliant...you just made one mistake."
Doctor Macabre wasn't listening. He was trying to open the door again.
"The door's locked okay?!...Can you just...focus on me unraveling your clever scheme?"
"My what?" the Doctor said through tears.
"Your scheme, your plot...your plan to poison me!"
"Poison! I don't even know you!"
"Don't play coy. Clearly you're some new master criminal who wished to off this town's greatest detective before beginning your reign of terror...but you didn't realize that my wife has a habit of sipping my coffee before I get to it. I've scolded her for it numerous times. When she became violently ill I became suspicious."
Doctor Macabre stared at Roger in disbelief. He then tried to door handle again.
"Stop that! Don't play dumb. You terrified my wife. She's been very emotional and won't even drink her evening Sherry!"
"I never wanted to hurt your wife Sherry!"
"My wife's name isn't Sherry..." Roger pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "I found your clue at my house and your note, you signed it!"
He helped up a scrap piece of paper. It read: DOCTOR MAC ABNE
Doctor Macabre struggled to read, "Doctor Mac...Aaabbbnnneee"
"No, it's Macabre...wait...is that a "n". Why does that name sound familiar?" Roger loosened his grip on the gun. Was this piece of paper part of a larger note that got torn?
The Doctor stuttered, "I don't know, man. I swear I was just going to rob this bakery...that's it!"
"I know!" Roger shouted, "I found your clue...A positive pregnancy test and a wedding band! Meaning a bun in the oven. The wedding band meant a bakery that specialized in wedding cakes. I came to the most high end bakery in town and here i found you. You expected me to be weak from poison but...oh, there's a Mac Abne that works at my wife office...", Roger trailed off as he realized.
Could the wedding band have been his wife's. He couldn't recall what her's looked like like. He never really noticed.
While he pondered this. Doctor Macabre tried the door again and it finally broke off in his hand. He ran out the door.
Detective Roger Tusk did not pursue. He didn't even fire his gun. He couldn't.
Roger knew that his gun didn't have any bullets.
|
Detective Wolfe put on his latex gloves and picked up the pieces of glass on the wooden floorboard. "Looks like he came in through the window," he said sarcastically as he looked over at the group of policemen and forensic experts clamoring over the broken shards of the window. "It's a diversion, a misdirection, don't you see?" He said eccentrically as he pointed towards the slightly chipped door frame. "He broke in through the door, cracked the safe and looted the lady's diamond rings and necklace and broke the window in while he was leaving. He is the perfect criminal mastermind. I've been after this guy for years. I know how his mind works."
Alan was on the other side of town, going over his misfortune. Wolfe was always after him. Wherever he goes to rob, Wolfe was the detective in charge, and he was the best investigator in town, at least according to Alan's friends. But Alan never understood why. He was careless while he was robbing, always leaving clues here and there and he knew it. He was sure he would get caught on this one, after all, his elbow was wounded on a nail inside the house. All they needed to do was to analyse the blood and confirm it was his. He was already thinking of packing his bags and leaving the state.
The inspector covered the knob of the door with fingerprint dust and was sitting there staring at it. "As I expected, no fingerprints. No fingerprints, no hair strands, no boot prints. Nothing. This guy doesn't leave any clues." Wolfe was starting to get annoyed. He wanted to catch this guy, badly. The inspector walked towards the safe and sighed. "I've been working for the force for almost twenty years and I've never seen anyone as smart as this guy."
Alan shoved a pair of sweatpants and a wad of money he had saved up into his backpack. He was going to leave before they could catch up to him. He cursed himself as he slowly covered up his wounded arm with alcohol soaked bandages. The pain from the alcohol seeping into the wound caused him to scream in pain.
"Sir, we've got something here," an officer shouted from the outside of the house. The owners of the house, a middle aged couple stood at the doorway puzzled as the detective rushed through and pushed them to the side. A crowbar, he had left a crowbar behind. Wolfe wasn't sure if it was left intentionally or because he was in a rush. "He must have used this to pry in the door. That's the only explanation. He must have forgot it here."
Alan bit into his sandwich as he walked towards the bus station. 'Where should he go? L.A.? New York?' The train of thought was never ending.
Even as the other police officers left, Wolfe stayed there, trying to put the pieces together. Smashed window, $200,000 worth of diamonds stolen, everything else left the way that it was. The detective stomped on the floor angrily, caving the floorboard in. There was a secret room under it. He lifted up the carpet, took out his gun and flashlight, and slowly walked into the secret room. It smelled horrible, the stench felt like someone sliding blades up the detective's nostrils.
Alan reached the ticket counter, "one to L.A. please."
There were two dead bodies, that looked like they have been tortured. Skin was ripped off the first and there were steel rods inserted through the stomach of the other. The detective remembered that the middle aged couple was standing right above the trap door the entire time and was hesitant to move, even though it was right in the hallway. The detective ran towards his car and the machine roared towards the motel the couple was staying in.
Alan boarded the bus and sat near the window. There was almost ten minutes before the bus started. He wondered whether he was going to be caught or not. He slowly nodded off to sleep and the bus began to move towards L.A.
The black sedan stopped at the Midnight Motel in 32nd street. The officer knocked on room 303 as the lady opened the door. "I know what you did. I know what you did, you devils." He screamed as he took out his gun and pointed at the woman. Then something hard hit him from behind. He could hear the woman laughing, she bent down and stared him right in the eyes, "then you know what we are going to do to you."
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[WP] Overestimating a common criminal he believes to be a mastermind, a detective with a spotless record connects clues that aren't there, uncovering something he shouldn't have.
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"Hold it right there, Doctor Macabre!"
The doctor made one last dash for the door but when he turned the handle he found that it was locked. Detective Roger Tusk raised his pistol.
"It seems our little game is over," Roger said...almost sadly.
"Oh god please don't hurt me!" Doctor Macabre squealed. He then tried to open the door again.
"No fancy speeches doctor? No last minutes declarations of your genius? I must admit your plan was brilliant...you just made one mistake."
Doctor Macabre wasn't listening. He was trying to open the door again.
"The door's locked okay?!...Can you just...focus on me unraveling your clever scheme?"
"My what?" the Doctor said through tears.
"Your scheme, your plot...your plan to poison me!"
"Poison! I don't even know you!"
"Don't play coy. Clearly you're some new master criminal who wished to off this town's greatest detective before beginning your reign of terror...but you didn't realize that my wife has a habit of sipping my coffee before I get to it. I've scolded her for it numerous times. When she became violently ill I became suspicious."
Doctor Macabre stared at Roger in disbelief. He then tried to door handle again.
"Stop that! Don't play dumb. You terrified my wife. She's been very emotional and won't even drink her evening Sherry!"
"I never wanted to hurt your wife Sherry!"
"My wife's name isn't Sherry..." Roger pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket, "I found your clue at my house and your note, you signed it!"
He helped up a scrap piece of paper. It read: DOCTOR MAC ABNE
Doctor Macabre struggled to read, "Doctor Mac...Aaabbbnnneee"
"No, it's Macabre...wait...is that a "n". Why does that name sound familiar?" Roger loosened his grip on the gun. Was this piece of paper part of a larger note that got torn?
The Doctor stuttered, "I don't know, man. I swear I was just going to rob this bakery...that's it!"
"I know!" Roger shouted, "I found your clue...A positive pregnancy test and a wedding band! Meaning a bun in the oven. The wedding band meant a bakery that specialized in wedding cakes. I came to the most high end bakery in town and here i found you. You expected me to be weak from poison but...oh, there's a Mac Abne that works at my wife office...", Roger trailed off as he realized.
Could the wedding band have been his wife's. He couldn't recall what her's looked like like. He never really noticed.
While he pondered this. Doctor Macabre tried the door again and it finally broke off in his hand. He ran out the door.
Detective Roger Tusk did not pursue. He didn't even fire his gun. He couldn't.
Roger knew that his gun didn't have any bullets.
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It was a cold wet day in late Februrary and there had been rumors of a cold front coming in that would likely bring snow. I stood infront of my office window hopefully longing for it to have an early start althought I knew it was unlikely. My coffee was cooling off but was still managing to compliment my mid-morning cigarette when I was startled by an abrupt knock at my door. It had a cadence of urgency to it. I put my smoke out into my old glass ashtray and walked over to the door where I was met by the familiar silouette of my best detective through the blurred glass of my office door. I opened it up to see the distressed look of a man who looked as though he'd just witnessed a murder. Craddled underneath his arm like newborn baby was a stack of papers the size of a phonebook.
"What the hell's wrong with you, son?" I inquired as he took his usual seat in the antique arm chair opposite me.
"Sir, I've got some rather alarming news" he replied anxiously. I took a seat in my leather desk chair, re-lit my smoke, and calmly asked what was the matter.
He dropped his stack of papers onto my desk with a thud and said "Chief, I've been looking into the string of prostitute murders downtown."
"Well what have you found" I said as I flipped through the numerous pages of evidence.
"It's not good, sir. It seems as though theres a link to our department and its high up. I mean really high up", he said with a gaunt hesitation.
"Just how high are we talking?" I asked as I took a drag of my smoke.
"Well", he said as he pulled out a page, "I began following up on a suspect we interviewed who matched the description and didn't have a sufficent alliby during the time of the murders. He insisted that he didn't do it but, he saw another heavy set middle aged caucaisian male in the viscinity the night of the most recent killing. He provided a rather detailed description of this other man and even managed to provide information on the car however this information was mysteriously witheld from his report."
"Thats odd" I said, as he continued to hurridly flip through the mass of paper. "Do you know why this is?"
"Well sir, I was confused at first but then I discovered that his report never made it to the detectives you had assigned to the case. Then it hit me. If the killer is capable of slitting the throats of four different women without leaving a trace of evidence then clearly he cannot be trusted when it comes to his account. I mean the guy has been arrested for domestic disputes between him and his 2 ex-wifes numerous times. Of course he's going to lie. The detectives must have not taken him seriously. So I decided to question him one more time and see if his stories matched up. This is where it gets weird", he said with that same hesitation in his voice. I began to grow anxious.
He continued. "Not only did his stories match, but a security camera at a nearby gas station managed to catch a glimpse of the car shortly after he described the events."
Then I saw the look in his eye. The look I had been waiting for...he didn't have to say another word. I didn't get to where I am by being stupid. I could read people like a book. He was preparing to accuse me of the grusome murders of 4 prostitutes whose bodies were found dismembered under blankets of trash at the landfill. He was right.
I suppose I knew this day was coming. I reached into my desk drawer behind my 40 year old scotch and grabbed my old revolver. The first one I was ever issued. It contained two bullets. I slowly removed it from the desk and pointed it between his eyes. I didn't think twice before I pulled the trigger. I couldn't give him the satisfaction. The shot was loud and rang out in the old oak halls of the police department and hurried footsteps soon followed. I turned around in my chair and noticed the white flakes beginning to fall. It was such a somber beauty.
This is my confession.
The last bullet would be mine.
But alas I would survive. I suppose the world has its own way of righting our wrongs. I write this while sitting on the otherside of the bars I knew so well, rotting away until the date of my execution. It turns out I'm getting a new cell mate. His charge is domestic abuse.
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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I used to be a family man. I would spend all day at work, and they called me a family man. But, whenever I look back to that old life, it never held a candle to the sunset that was in front of me. I was greeted at the end of my day by exhausted busy faces, kids I didn't know anymore, and a wife as tired as I was. But today I have reawakened. Today I'm alone. More alone than I had planned to be by the end of today anyways. The papers were finally all signed, my wife had decided she didn't want to be tied to something that reminded her of her current situation. She had them all ready by the last night of our vacation, and I wasn't ready to sign away our kids' innocence because we couldn't stand each other. I had worked so so hard. So hard. But none of it mattered now, I'm the only one who was thrown from the plane before hitting the water. The only one who saw what happened when the engines whined a final high note before the wave swallowed the plane. It must have rushed through the whole cabin, crushing and swirling, and drowning. And now it's just me, the vodka, and my wallet. The vodka gave in first, and with a dollar and a pen I said my final goodbyes to my old life. "I am free now, farewell." And with that, I had something to fill my bottle before tossing it into the waves ahead of me.
I couldn't remember everything, but I didn't feel so heavy anymore. Just sun-burnt. I walked along the shore for awhile, admiring the island I would be living on. The peace distracted me from what was right at my feet, a vodka bottle. But there wasn't a soggy dollar bill inside, instead there was a now-dry notebook sheet. I had just enough time to see the words "I miss-" before I realized what I had wandered into. It wasn't just one bottle, but hundreds of memories and regrets. People lamenting their luck, and cursing their gods. I looked around at these pitiful lives as I kept walking along the shore. You weren't like them, you were free.
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Plop. Plop.
The red drops slowly oozed together until they formed a pool in the rock large enough for Alex to dip his reed into. He winced with each sound; the pain from the open cut had passed an hour ago but the sound was enough to cause him mental anguish. Knowing that each drop took with it a bit of his life and traded it for a chance at survival. As he sketched the "p" in the word "help" onto his leaf, he noticed the edge of a shadow suddenly fall across his hand. It was the occlusion of a palm frond that waved gently beside him. The sun was setting, and soon the wolves would be out.
With renewed urgency, he scratched the last of his bloody plea for help on the leaf and rolled it into a cylinder. He gave it a kiss for luck, inhaled the acrid scent of it, felt the prickly texture of it in his palm. The sting of the cut on his hand came back to him now that the work was done, so he stuck his throbbing finger into his mouth for a moment before shoving the rolled leaf into the bottle he'd found and stopping it with the rubber from the deflated raft that had taken him to the island.
He remembered the engine noise and the rush of the air through his hair as it escaped through the hole cracked open by the explosion. Bits of paper and magazines blew by his head. A lady's scarf wrapped round his neck and his stomach rose to his throat as the plane began its descent. Spiraling and screaming from the plane and the people. Then awake on the raft in the sand of the island, bobbing. Not sure how he got there.
That night he slept in the hole he'd spent a day digging out. His finger still throbbed but more than the cut he felt the pangs of hunger. There was nothing to eat still. Although there had to be something because he could hear the wolves at night, sometimes close. Sleep finally came when the moon crested over the silhouette of the looming cliffs that surrounded him.
He woke to a tinging sound, something familiar but terrifying in portent. It sounded dull under the dirt and palms he piled on himself the night before but he was sure it was some glass, probably bobbing among the rocks at the nearby shore. He burst out of cover and followed the sound.
What he saw took his breath away. Gleaming with a blinding intensity was not a single piece of glass but dozens, each one a bottle just one he'd set afloat the day before. He stumbled through wet sand, fell to his knees, and brushed the seaweed from the one. In an instant he imagined the scene of his rescue. A helicopter kicks up dust and a man in a black suit rappels down a rope carrying a harness. He reaches for Alex. Alex takes his hand and wonders if anyone on the helicopter has a phone so he can call his wife and talk to his children.
Coca-Cola on the label, and another familiar logo. A red airplane against a blue circle background. The same as the one on his own bottle.
Noticing some paper inside, Alex scratched at a cloth stopper in the mouth of the bottle. After a minute with no progress, he grew desperate and reached for a rock nearby. He raised it over his head like an ape and brought it smashing down on the bottle in the sand.
Gingerly he pulled the paper from the remains of the bottle and held it to the light. Between the print in an ad for heart medicine, he found a note scribbled in dark ink. Maybe blood. "Send help," it said. And that was all.
Alex spent the rest of the day, ignorant of his hunger and the pain of his still-throbbing finger, smashing bottle after bottle. But they all held the same thing: a plea for help on a strip of clothing, or in a scrap of magazine. One was written in the margins of a pocket bible. Every one a plea for help, written in ink, etched with a stone, or drawn in blood.
Every one, just like his own.
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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I used to be a family man. I would spend all day at work, and they called me a family man. But, whenever I look back to that old life, it never held a candle to the sunset that was in front of me. I was greeted at the end of my day by exhausted busy faces, kids I didn't know anymore, and a wife as tired as I was. But today I have reawakened. Today I'm alone. More alone than I had planned to be by the end of today anyways. The papers were finally all signed, my wife had decided she didn't want to be tied to something that reminded her of her current situation. She had them all ready by the last night of our vacation, and I wasn't ready to sign away our kids' innocence because we couldn't stand each other. I had worked so so hard. So hard. But none of it mattered now, I'm the only one who was thrown from the plane before hitting the water. The only one who saw what happened when the engines whined a final high note before the wave swallowed the plane. It must have rushed through the whole cabin, crushing and swirling, and drowning. And now it's just me, the vodka, and my wallet. The vodka gave in first, and with a dollar and a pen I said my final goodbyes to my old life. "I am free now, farewell." And with that, I had something to fill my bottle before tossing it into the waves ahead of me.
I couldn't remember everything, but I didn't feel so heavy anymore. Just sun-burnt. I walked along the shore for awhile, admiring the island I would be living on. The peace distracted me from what was right at my feet, a vodka bottle. But there wasn't a soggy dollar bill inside, instead there was a now-dry notebook sheet. I had just enough time to see the words "I miss-" before I realized what I had wandered into. It wasn't just one bottle, but hundreds of memories and regrets. People lamenting their luck, and cursing their gods. I looked around at these pitiful lives as I kept walking along the shore. You weren't like them, you were free.
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My eyes cracked open. My mouth was dry and I could tell I was very dehydrated. The blurry image my eyes saw slowly came into focus. I heard the slow crashing of the waves and felt the breeze on my cracking face. Hesitantly I stood up, my wobbly legs barely able to support my weight. I looked around and saw vast ocean to my right and dense jungle on my left.
My mind was slowly starting to work and looking down I discovered I was completely naked. Though there was no one around, I felt dirty and exposed. I wanted to bury myself in the sand. The thought that I was naked made my head spin, I felt panicked, as if something was coming to get me. A completely irrational terror filled up inside of me and I took off sprinting along the coast, casting horrified looks over my shoulder, scanning for some invisible force that nipped at my heals. As I ran I started to wonder how I had gotten here. I had no memory. Not just an absence of knowledge of how I had found my way to this place, but also no recollection of my name. I couldn't think of anything. I was hit with a wave of frustration as my weak legs pumped furiously and my mind ceased to hold any account of my existence.
Suddenly I was in the air, sprawling. My legs had given way and sand filled my nose, eyes, and mouth as I hit the ground with a thud. I convulsed on the ground as I vainly tried to brush the sand out of my eyes. Spitting, writhing, and cursing, I felt like a wild animal. Tears were streaming from my eyes, but hesitantly I stood up, my wobbly legs barely able to support my weight. I looked around and saw vast ocean to my right and dense jungle on my left. On the ground in front of me was a crystal clear bottle. Beside it was a thin strip of parchment and a quill stuck in a bottle of ink. I bent down and sat cross legged in the sand. My bony fingers grasped the quill and on the parchment I wrote,
*Oh vessel, Save Me!*
in the vain hope some passing ship should somehow find this message. I dropped to message into its chamber and drove the cork in tight. Standing at the edge of the ocean the water rushed up to meet my feet. The water stung like fire and, shouting in pain, I dropped the bottle. The current of the ocean swept the bottle away from me and under the water it went. I watched, waiting, surely, for the bottle to bob back to the surface of the water, but it seemed the ocean had swallowed my cry for help and, with it, my hope.
Then the water turned dark as though a shadow had been cast over it, though up above the sun still beat down upon my corpse. With the blackening of the tide I also felt the waves of fear returning. Away from the water I ran, into the jungle as a rumbling from somewhere below grew louder and louder. Large leaves smacked my face as I hurdled over fallen rotting logs, my footsteps pattering on the damp ground. A wind surged from behind as a ran across the ground which now seemed to become steeper. Uphill I ran, toward what I had no notion. Around me, the air was warming and my skin felt like it was baking. The jungle started to thin and as I reached its horizon I looked up to see a towering black mountain.
As my eyes met its doom-bearing peak I was thrown to the ground as the earth roared with thunder. The mountain exploded into the sky throwing ash into the air and liquid-earth streaming down its sides toward me.
Hesitantly I stood up, my wobbly legs barely able to support my weight. I looked around and saw the fire to my right and dense jungle on my left. I turned toward the jungle and flew to escape the molten magma that gracefully rolled down the rocky slope. Back through the leaves, hurdling logs, I heard the fiery ocean welling up behind me. I felt the lava burn my heals. The shock of pain caused me to stumble. In an instant I was knee deep in the volcanic venom. I felt my skin blistering off and could hardly hear my raspy screams over the sizzling of my flesh and grinding of my teeth. Onward I waded, the edge of the jungle coming nearer. I flung my body onto the the sand and drifted into a dark abyss.
Sand filled my eyes, nose, and mouth. I wretched desperately to breath and see through the thousands of small but painful grains that plagued me. I looked out with tears streaming down my face and could hardly believe what I saw. The sea could hardly be seen, for in it were an innumerable amount of brilliant glass bottles. As I approached, I saw in each one was a small bit of parchment like the one I had sent out. I bent down, uncorked a bottle and shook the tightly rolled message from the vessel. It read,
*My wife is far away, and she is not nearly as pretty as you.*
Confused I opened another bottle, it's message read,
*I do everything for this family!*
In my heart I felt deep sorrow and regret. What did these mean. The others were similar.
*You're a disgrace of a son.*
*I didn't realize I had married a cow instead of a woman!*
*I will beat you to pieces you worthless jackass!*
I began to feel sick but, one by one I was compelled to read each message. The sun never moved in the sky as I uncorked every bottle and flinched at every message. After what seemed like years I arrived at the very last message. The bottle's glass seemed to swirl with strange colors I'd never seen before. The edges of the parchment were charred. The writing said,
*The sea gave up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in them. And they were judged, each one according to his works. This is the second death.*
My mind snapped and I started giggling gleefully. My fits turned into snarls of laughter as I romped and writhed in the sand. Crazed I picked up the bottle and beat my forehead. Soon blood trickled down my face and the bottle shattered. Bits of glass flew into my eyes. Smiling gleefully I prayed for release as I picked up a shard of glass and plunged it into my neck three times. Blood poured down my body and my mind grasped a moment of clarity before I collapsed onto the sand.
My eyes cracked open.
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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I woke up to a severe sunburn on my face. It was difficult to move my face without experiencing agonizing pain. My teeth were very groggy and I was parched. I sat up, wondered if I could somehow boil the salt out of the ocean water, and then took a glance at the ocean subconsciously.
Wait a minute -- I looked back at the ocean. Thousands of glass bottles littered the surrounding ocean. Amazed, I stood up. As I walked down to the ocean, my vision became clearer and clearer. What was a beautiful deep blue color just yesterday is now an ugly white tainted with a little bit of yellow. I then realized that there was something in the bottles.
I approached one of the few bottles that made it to land. I picked it up and the heat of the bottle scolded my hand. How long had it been sitting there? Glass doesn't heat up that fast, does it? Carefully this time, I picked up the bottle by its cork and rinsed it off in the cool ocean water. I unplugged the cork and pulled out a piece of paper.
The paper had been rolled up and tinged with a light yellow. As I unrolled the paper, I expected there to be a long, well written message inside. Instead, all I read was "God help us"
I picked up another bottle and unpackaged its contents. This time, the message was written in another language. The paper inside read "Auttaa."
I didn't recognize the language, but what came to mind was Greek. It sounded like a Greek word to me, but like I said, I didn't recognize the word at all, so I was probably wrong.
I went through many bottles with short messages from all languages. Based on the English messages, the other languages were probably just as cryptic. What the hell was going on here?
I almost stopped to get water to treat my severe cotton mouth, but then I read a very long message that described some frightening things:
"If you're reading this, you're one of the lucky few that were dislocated to an island before the flooding event. Or, you're one of the scumbag scientists still residing in the Americas. If the latter describes you, just shred this paper now and get back to your coffee and donuts.
Now, you're probably wondering why so many bottles have surrounded your island. Well, I can explain that. Some sort of mass cataclysmic event occurred due to some stupid tests being run on an atomic collider in the Americas. Now, we don't know for sure what happened after that, but we know that it caused all this bullshit. My guess is that the matter was so condensed inside the collider that was somehow able to gather an infinite amount of energy which then opened up extra-dimensional portals, and our world was swapped with multiple other worlds. The explanation is more math based than that, but that is the shortened version.
The Atlantic ocean is now littered with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of islands. Europe's west end was ripped off -- France, Spain, Portugal, and Great Britain no longer exist. There're just more islands. I've also heard talk of some kind of endless abyss where the Strait of Gibraltar was. Whether that's true or not, you get the gist of what happened. Shit went down, and now everything's fucked up. Harz, which is located smack in the middle of Germany and also where I happen to be located, is now a port city ruled by some twisted marriage of the Stalin and Hitler regimes. People have it bad here. Food rations are distributed once a week, and water rations distributed at the bare minimum - 3 days apart. Citizens that try to escape are met with severe punishment and are often killed. We're too weak to fight back.
Oh, right. The bottles. Essentially, a lucky bunch was selected to be translocated to these islands. Every island is covered by a different kind of hell. They want to get off of their island, but little do they know that nine times out of ten, their hell is better than ours. We're being starved and then fed the bare minimum just to keep us alive. It's pure torture. Anyway, the people on the islands -- they're sending out as many bottles as they can because they think they're the only ones stranded. We get maybe 40000 bottles washed up on our shore every day, most of them containing useless messages.
It's my job to clean them up.
You know, I've read some of them. Some describe pity struggles, others describe a hell that I wouldn't want to experience in a million years. But, there are occasionally a couple that describe themselves being stuck on a regular old island. They're the *real* lucky ones. They'd have to have been on an island before the big event to be free of a dystopian government or a hellish torture every day, and I wish that I"
The note stopped there with plenty of room left on the paper. I worry for that person. Moreso than them, though, I worry about all those other people on the islands. What could be happening to them? I decide to open up one last bottle.
I was terrified. Inside was the message that I sent out just last night. This could simply mean that all of the other bottles pushed my bottle back... or it could also mean that all of the islands described in the German man's note were just one island --
And it's all just a spatial anomaly.
Or, it could also mean that we're all on the same island together, but experiencing different things. Either way, I'm starting work on a raft as soon as I can and I hope to be out by next month.
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Just a cast away an island lost at sea-o
Another lonely day, no one here but me-o
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair-o
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life but love can break your heart
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Oh message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Walked out this morning I don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone in being alone
A hundred billion castaways looking for a home
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle whoa
Message in a bottle yeah
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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"I am not a fool. I know that this is futile.
I know that this bottle may never be found; I know the message may not be read for years, if at all.
But please, please, find me. Rescue me. I have enough food and water here to hold out forever, but I do not know how long I can endure the uncertainty, the terror of injury, the incredible, unbearable loneliness.
Please help me."
I placed the bottle in the water and walked back up the silent beach, pulled the door to my hut closed, and went to sleep.
I awoke to an unfamiliar susurration: it was innumerable bottles rustling against one another in the tide.
It was surreal, and I wandered to the shore, entranced. I opened the first bottle, and read the message inside of it.
"You have food? Please, please, I'm hungry. Help me."
I read the next one. "You have water? I'm dying of thirst. If you have strength, find me. I'm dying of thirst."
I read another, and another. They were the same; they were cries for help.
I sat on the beach, and stared out at a sea of bottles.
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Just a cast away an island lost at sea-o
Another lonely day, no one here but me-o
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before I fall into despair-o
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
A year has passed since I wrote my note
But I should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life but love can break your heart
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Oh message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Walked out this morning I don't believe what I saw
A hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems I'm not alone in being alone
A hundred billion castaways looking for a home
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I'll send an S.O.S. to the world
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my
I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle yeah
Message in a bottle whoa
Message in a bottle yeah
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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"I am not a fool. I know that this is futile.
I know that this bottle may never be found; I know the message may not be read for years, if at all.
But please, please, find me. Rescue me. I have enough food and water here to hold out forever, but I do not know how long I can endure the uncertainty, the terror of injury, the incredible, unbearable loneliness.
Please help me."
I placed the bottle in the water and walked back up the silent beach, pulled the door to my hut closed, and went to sleep.
I awoke to an unfamiliar susurration: it was innumerable bottles rustling against one another in the tide.
It was surreal, and I wandered to the shore, entranced. I opened the first bottle, and read the message inside of it.
"You have food? Please, please, I'm hungry. Help me."
I read the next one. "You have water? I'm dying of thirst. If you have strength, find me. I'm dying of thirst."
I read another, and another. They were the same; they were cries for help.
I sat on the beach, and stared out at a sea of bottles.
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I woke up to a severe sunburn on my face. It was difficult to move my face without experiencing agonizing pain. My teeth were very groggy and I was parched. I sat up, wondered if I could somehow boil the salt out of the ocean water, and then took a glance at the ocean subconsciously.
Wait a minute -- I looked back at the ocean. Thousands of glass bottles littered the surrounding ocean. Amazed, I stood up. As I walked down to the ocean, my vision became clearer and clearer. What was a beautiful deep blue color just yesterday is now an ugly white tainted with a little bit of yellow. I then realized that there was something in the bottles.
I approached one of the few bottles that made it to land. I picked it up and the heat of the bottle scolded my hand. How long had it been sitting there? Glass doesn't heat up that fast, does it? Carefully this time, I picked up the bottle by its cork and rinsed it off in the cool ocean water. I unplugged the cork and pulled out a piece of paper.
The paper had been rolled up and tinged with a light yellow. As I unrolled the paper, I expected there to be a long, well written message inside. Instead, all I read was "God help us"
I picked up another bottle and unpackaged its contents. This time, the message was written in another language. The paper inside read "Auttaa."
I didn't recognize the language, but what came to mind was Greek. It sounded like a Greek word to me, but like I said, I didn't recognize the word at all, so I was probably wrong.
I went through many bottles with short messages from all languages. Based on the English messages, the other languages were probably just as cryptic. What the hell was going on here?
I almost stopped to get water to treat my severe cotton mouth, but then I read a very long message that described some frightening things:
"If you're reading this, you're one of the lucky few that were dislocated to an island before the flooding event. Or, you're one of the scumbag scientists still residing in the Americas. If the latter describes you, just shred this paper now and get back to your coffee and donuts.
Now, you're probably wondering why so many bottles have surrounded your island. Well, I can explain that. Some sort of mass cataclysmic event occurred due to some stupid tests being run on an atomic collider in the Americas. Now, we don't know for sure what happened after that, but we know that it caused all this bullshit. My guess is that the matter was so condensed inside the collider that was somehow able to gather an infinite amount of energy which then opened up extra-dimensional portals, and our world was swapped with multiple other worlds. The explanation is more math based than that, but that is the shortened version.
The Atlantic ocean is now littered with hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of islands. Europe's west end was ripped off -- France, Spain, Portugal, and Great Britain no longer exist. There're just more islands. I've also heard talk of some kind of endless abyss where the Strait of Gibraltar was. Whether that's true or not, you get the gist of what happened. Shit went down, and now everything's fucked up. Harz, which is located smack in the middle of Germany and also where I happen to be located, is now a port city ruled by some twisted marriage of the Stalin and Hitler regimes. People have it bad here. Food rations are distributed once a week, and water rations distributed at the bare minimum - 3 days apart. Citizens that try to escape are met with severe punishment and are often killed. We're too weak to fight back.
Oh, right. The bottles. Essentially, a lucky bunch was selected to be translocated to these islands. Every island is covered by a different kind of hell. They want to get off of their island, but little do they know that nine times out of ten, their hell is better than ours. We're being starved and then fed the bare minimum just to keep us alive. It's pure torture. Anyway, the people on the islands -- they're sending out as many bottles as they can because they think they're the only ones stranded. We get maybe 40000 bottles washed up on our shore every day, most of them containing useless messages.
It's my job to clean them up.
You know, I've read some of them. Some describe pity struggles, others describe a hell that I wouldn't want to experience in a million years. But, there are occasionally a couple that describe themselves being stuck on a regular old island. They're the *real* lucky ones. They'd have to have been on an island before the big event to be free of a dystopian government or a hellish torture every day, and I wish that I"
The note stopped there with plenty of room left on the paper. I worry for that person. Moreso than them, though, I worry about all those other people on the islands. What could be happening to them? I decide to open up one last bottle.
I was terrified. Inside was the message that I sent out just last night. This could simply mean that all of the other bottles pushed my bottle back... or it could also mean that all of the islands described in the German man's note were just one island --
And it's all just a spatial anomaly.
Or, it could also mean that we're all on the same island together, but experiencing different things. Either way, I'm starting work on a raft as soon as I can and I hope to be out by next month.
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[WP] You are marooned on an island. Desperate to be rescued you put a message seeking help into a bottle and late at night as the tide is going out you hurl it into the ocean. You wake up the next morning to find one hundred thousands bottles, each holding there own message washed up on the shore.
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Sunlight glinted off the mounds of bottles which stretched as far as the eye could see along the beach. I automatically raised a hand to shade my eyes from the kaleidoscopic glare as my mind whirled. Where could they all have come from? Was this some kind of mirage? I took a few hesitant steps out onto the sand, half-hoping for the moment when it would all be revealed as a trick of the light, but the bottles remained.
The nearest was just a couple yards away, lying near the tideline where a huge wave must have tossed it. I reached down and picked it up, uncorked it. The paper inside was yellowed and brittle, but perfectly dry. On it was written a single word in bold, black lines: Help.
I shivered. What kind of message was that? No name, no information, just the word itself. I replaced the paper and recorked the bottle, then moved on to the next. The sheet of paper inside it was nearly identical to the last one, and when I unrolled it, I found it had been written in the same hand. "You're the only one who can help me," it read.
A chill ran down my spine. Without thinking, I cast a glance behind me at the thick jungle covering the island. Other than the trees moving in the wind, everything was still and quiet. There was no way- there was just no way two messages, by the same castaway, could have washed up on the same far-off shore on the same day. And then... what about the rest of them?
I dropped the paper and bottle and rushed to the next one. Yanking it open, the same paper fell out, the same black and heavy handwriting inscribed upon it: "Nobody's ever going to read your messages, you know."
The bottle fell from nerveless fingers, the paper fluttering down slowly to join it. The hairs on my neck prickled like wire. I turned back to face the jungle, and again there was nothing there but the wind in the trees. Keeping my back to the sea, I crouched and scurried backwards through the sand until my fingers brushed another bottle. The message inside read, "You're trapped here with me, and that's the way it is."
My vision swam. This couldn't be real. This can't be happening. My yacht was swept up in a storm and I went overboard, but it's okay, they're looking for me, they're going to find me! Maybe I'm delirious. Sunstroke, dehydration. I spared a quick glance at the bottles- no, still there. My eyes returned to the jungle, flitting here and there, wide and wary. My tongue swept over my cracked lips, feeling their roughness. This couldn't be a dream. It was too real to be a dream.
I walked backwards. I opened another bottle.
As the sun rose higher, beating down upon my already burnt skin, I worked my way along the beach. I opened bottles, here and there. Most of them I left. Some of the messages were plaintive, simple. Others dug deep into me: "If you hadn't loved the yacht more than anyone else..." "If anyone cared enough to look for you, they'd have found you by now." I always kept my face towards the jungle, but I knew that someone could be waiting, watching, and I would never know.
The sun was setting as I rounded a curve in the beach, holding a few scraps of paper in my hand. Not all of the messages had hurt. I looked down the next stretch of sand, and found that it was there that the bottles ran out. There were a few more lying just ahead of me, but after that there was just sand. Sand... and two pieces of furniture. A worn, wooden chair and an old rolltop writing desk, both of them scarred and weatherbeaten. They faced out to sea, towards the red disk of the sun hovering above the horizon.
When I reached them, I spent a moment running my hand over the desk, feeling the raw grain of the wood where the veneer had flaked away. The sensation stirred up something deep in my mind, and I closed my eyes for a second, remembering.
My eyes snapped open. I spun back towards the jungle. There was nobody there.
I sighed. What, in the end, was I so afraid of? There was nothing anyone could do to me that the sun and the sea wouldn't take care of soon enough. I unclenched my hand, and glanced down at one of the papers there, taking solace in its words. I took a deep breath, turned my back on the jungle, and sat down.
The sunset was beautiful- reds, purples and pinks playing over the bottom surfaces of the few clouds on the horizon. The sun shimmered, ruddy and soft. Its bottom edge had just touched the horizon.
I opened the rolltop desk, and as I had known it would, it contained only a sheaf of blank, yellowed papers, a thick charcoal pencil, and a few old bottles, clear and smooth and empty. I slid the first sheet over to me, and took a moment to think. What message could I send? What was there that I hadn't already read in one or ten or thirty bottles already? When the answer hit me, I smiled. It was obvious, really. I took up the pencil and in a bold, straight hand, wrote, "Help". I rolled it up, put it in a bottle, corked it, and tossed it as far as I could into the ocean, landing with a satisfying splash. I rolled the top down on the desk and, as the last glimpse of the sun faded over the horizon, I lay down in the sand to go to sleep.
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I was out fishing when I first noticed the bottle, bobbing quietly in the lagoon. I was so excited that I just dropped my fishing gear in the bay and ran through the shallow waters, splashing like a madman and cackling with giddy glee. I skidded to a halt in the sand and fished it out from under some low-hanging branches along the shore.
My hands were shaking as I tried to wrench the cork out of the top. It wasn't the rescue I'd been hoping for, but maybe it would have something useful. Hell, any communication with the outside world would be nice! Finally I got it open with a satisfying "POP."
> Thank you for registering for FaceBottle. Please complete your profile and throw the bottle back into the ocean!
> Name
> Date of Birth
> Where are you from?
> Where did you go to school?
> What is your job?
> How did you arrive on your island?
> What three books did you bring with you?
I rubbed my eyes and looked again.
*That's it*, I thought. *The island has finally driven me mad.*
----
There were seven bottles in the lagoon when I woke up. Each one floated up against the shore like a dog pawing at the back door wanting to be let in. The waves would push them up onto the sand and then retreat, and the bottles would roll back down the slope into the water.
I grabbed the first one and pulled the top off, then carefully slid the note out.
> IslandBob has posted a new picture!
> > @SouthPacific:
Below that, a scratched drawing of a crude stick figure holding what appeared to be a coconut.
I tossed the note and bottle aside, clinking against the rocks on the shore. The second bottle was pretty much the same:
> IslandBob likes American Airlines
> > "The crashing part sucked, but the flight was fine before that, and I couldn't be more satisfied with my flotation device!"
I threw that one aside too and reached for the next bottle in the lagoon.
> IslandBob has updated his status!
> > "Man, I am getting such a great tan out here!"
Below that message, another stick figure, this time drawn in charcoal instead of whatever weird ink he had been using before.
I opened the other bottles. All inane crap from IslandBob. I was really starting to hate this guy. At least the bottles were useful.
I wrote a note back, asking for more information. Where was he? Any way that we could find each other and maybe work together? Any possible chance at rescue? I tossed the bottles into the wave and sat by the shore, awaiting his answer.
----
37 bottles today. IslandBob was posting about the strange dream he had last night! IslandBob is posting yet another fucking picture of a coconut! IslandBob is now the mayor of Desolate Island In The South Pacific! IslandBob has updated his status about how he is dehyrdrated.
If I ever meet this fucking IslandBob, I am going to shove these fucking bottles up his ass.
----
98 bottles today. I don't even open most of them; just a few when I'm bored. Most of the ones from yesterday are still bobbing around the lagoon too, just waiting for me to read them. I hide in my house made of glass bottles.
----
Banner day for IslandBob. The lagoon is now so full that the bottles are spilling out into the bay. Where the fuck is he getting so many damn bottles?
LEAVE ME ALONE, I scratched onto a piece of paper. I hurled it into the sea and cursed IslandBob for the thousandth time before going to sleep.
---
A different bottle appeared today. Not a wine bottle like the others. Small and delicate, with thin clear glass. It was pure chance that I saw this one and noticed it, because it would have gotten lost in the lagoon, which now looked like a college sorority's recycling bin.
I fished it out of the sea and opened it.
"To cancel your FaceBottle account, simply call our toll free number: 1-800-475-2632!"
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[WP] A married couple secretly invent time travel. They travel back to 50 BC, but the portal takes them to different locations on earth. This is the story of how they found each other.
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I had given up when the man found me, never taking his eyes off me as he got off his horse and walked over. He looked just like the others who had found me over the years, and looked at me in the same, confused way. In the beginning I had tried talking to them, trying to tell them that I was looking for my wife, that I wasn't from around here, but they quickly distrusted me; it didn't take me long to realise that my best chances of survival relied on me running, hiding, being a shadow while exploring the land and looking for Gina.
This time though, I was too weak. My leg had gone purple after I had fallen on it a few days before, running. It was infected, that much I was sure, and I had tried to keep it as clean as I could with the few resources I had. My body was growing all the more weaker, though. I barely had enough strength to talk to the man as his hand lingered over the sword at his side. But I couldn't remember what my last words were. Screaming, perhaps? Begging for my life? It had been too long ago. Either way, if I was going to lose now, then I wanted to say something I was proud of.
"Wherever you are, Gina, I love you."
The man kept staring, his hand still hovering.
"... Gina?"
It was now my turn to be confused. I said Gina's name to many men over the years, but none of them had ever fixated on it. I'd whispered her name into the wind and hoped she was close, I'd seen the bodies of women in ransacked villages and on the roads that I'd almost been convinced was hers. The one I had found shortly after being thrown from the time machine, the burned one, I had wept over for days I had been so sure. But believing it was her would've done me no good; I had to keep going. And now, after 25 long years, I felt that feeling again. I felt... hope.
"Yes, Gina."
The man's hand now laid at his side, his sword no longer a threat. He thought carefully, his eyes concentrating on the sand, trying to find the right words in a language that wasn't his own. A language that someone had taught him only recently.
"You... Paul?"
"Yes! Yes, me... I am Paul, me!"
My cheeks ached as I realised I was smiling, the first time I'd done so in so long. I tried getting up but quickly stumbled, and the man lifted me over his shoulder with little effort.
"I take to Gina."
He hoisted me over his horse and I lay there, relief washing over me as I felt the man get up onto it. I was almost there. Hold on, my love... I'm coming.
|
Yep, there she is. Five feet away from me. I feared the trip might dump us off in the exact same physical space and all our bits would explode from the solidifying into one another. But she came up with the buffer and the dilation matrix. Always good with the details compared to my big picture thinking.
I'm fiddling with my shoulder mounted cameras, testing my sensors, mentally reviewing my dead languages. She's already deactivating and reintegrating. A wet pop cracks the sky. Her time bubble sparks and a piles of skin collapses neatly on the ground. That shouldn't happen.
I hit the fine gain control on my viewer. The probes indicated her layers stretch across fifty years, refusing to arrive as a whole in a singular point. Nerves 40, piles on blood 20, an eyeball spiralling into existence over a decade, a tongue and some teeth on the ground somewhere in the first century.
We knew the chance of a dissolution. We expected to be vaporized all at once. I reenter the slipstream. If I go back to the future but before we took the trip, I can save her from this past. We'll be better equipped to get me out of my bubblelayer as well.
The emergency chute has enough juice to fire me down the stream without scarring the landscape. I crash head-first into her bubble as it descends from the future and my past. We lock eyes. I forgot we already took the trip, will always take the trip. Just reversing my jump without plotting a whole new course means I got in her way.
The collision chopped her up across the timeline. My bubble keep hard dropping me into the point before the collision. Poorly implemented safety feature. My shoddy design. I thought navigating fourth dimensionally would nicely - I crash headfirst into her - resolve itself like a highway, not an avalanche.
I keep seeing my wife cascade across at least a quarter century with each impact. My internal sensors pick up powerful energy readings with each crack. I'm developing hairline cracks, losing cohesion - I lock eyes with her. I pull the emergency chute. It makes things worse. I reset to the chutepull like a bad save checkpoint. I can't resist pulling the chute. My awareness separation from the loop won't last much longer. I crash headfirst into her. Gotta fix this. I can save us. Her dividing out is my fault. I crash head-first into her bubble as it descends. She's horrified. She is always horrified. She takes the trip once but sees endless mes crashing into her. A part of me might - I crash head-first again, I crash I crash I cr I I I I
I I I I I I I I IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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Edit- Thanks for the upvote, reddit! If you enjoyed my story, you might enjoy supporting your local public library where they store books by professional authors with actual editors. And probably movies and music too! Something for everyone. Or check my subreddit /r/420hitler for curated deconstructions of Hitler as a marijuana enthusiast.
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[WP] A married couple secretly invent time travel. They travel back to 50 BC, but the portal takes them to different locations on earth. This is the story of how they found each other.
|
I had given up when the man found me, never taking his eyes off me as he got off his horse and walked over. He looked just like the others who had found me over the years, and looked at me in the same, confused way. In the beginning I had tried talking to them, trying to tell them that I was looking for my wife, that I wasn't from around here, but they quickly distrusted me; it didn't take me long to realise that my best chances of survival relied on me running, hiding, being a shadow while exploring the land and looking for Gina.
This time though, I was too weak. My leg had gone purple after I had fallen on it a few days before, running. It was infected, that much I was sure, and I had tried to keep it as clean as I could with the few resources I had. My body was growing all the more weaker, though. I barely had enough strength to talk to the man as his hand lingered over the sword at his side. But I couldn't remember what my last words were. Screaming, perhaps? Begging for my life? It had been too long ago. Either way, if I was going to lose now, then I wanted to say something I was proud of.
"Wherever you are, Gina, I love you."
The man kept staring, his hand still hovering.
"... Gina?"
It was now my turn to be confused. I said Gina's name to many men over the years, but none of them had ever fixated on it. I'd whispered her name into the wind and hoped she was close, I'd seen the bodies of women in ransacked villages and on the roads that I'd almost been convinced was hers. The one I had found shortly after being thrown from the time machine, the burned one, I had wept over for days I had been so sure. But believing it was her would've done me no good; I had to keep going. And now, after 25 long years, I felt that feeling again. I felt... hope.
"Yes, Gina."
The man's hand now laid at his side, his sword no longer a threat. He thought carefully, his eyes concentrating on the sand, trying to find the right words in a language that wasn't his own. A language that someone had taught him only recently.
"You... Paul?"
"Yes! Yes, me... I am Paul, me!"
My cheeks ached as I realised I was smiling, the first time I'd done so in so long. I tried getting up but quickly stumbled, and the man lifted me over his shoulder with little effort.
"I take to Gina."
He hoisted me over his horse and I lay there, relief washing over me as I felt the man get up onto it. I was almost there. Hold on, my love... I'm coming.
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Me and my love had always been known as the two who were made for one another, we had every complimenting personality piece that fit together so well it often seemed surreal. We were always the inseparable ones that never left the others side, that is until a few complications in the portals with our newly developed time machine hit us like a ton of bricks. He was so excited to see times of the past with me there by his side, knowing that he was out there without me brought a great darkness to my heart. With each step I took in search for him I remembered the way his words sunk into me like a bite, leaving marks across me that seemingly mapped out the directions to get back to him. The key was not so easy to find, but when I realized that the key was simply remembering I knew I would find him in good time. As time went on in this strange place not native to me, I remembered all of the midnight talks we would have about silly things that seemingly had little significance to the real world. On our wedding night he told me that he knew we had met in a past life or two, I simply smiled and agreed even though I knew no amount of lifetimes together could explain the connection that we had. Still, we had fun bouncing the idea of it around. As time went on and we were happily married we never shook off that game, creating new scenarios for lives we once lived together became a part of us that only we could really understand. After months of searching all over, I remembered a specific story we created together that entailed a setting in Rome... realizing that the story we made from silliness took place in 50 BC made me feel a strange sense of hope and direction. Onward I went, to Rome where we met in a past life-- though I could not remember the minor details I do remember him being persistent that we met on a rainy night beside a local fire. I remember feeling hopeless as the sky stayed clear, many days had passed in Rome where the rain simply did not come... until the night it did. Through the downpour I searched the streets for the flames, dark corners stabbing at me until I found a glimpse of happiness in the light that guided me. I felt warmth as I slowly passed through the crowd all huddled under patio like roofs that covered the fire, laughter all around made me feel as if I had seen and heard all of this before. The fire reached out to the crying sky as if to comfort it, just as his hand did on my shoulder when he stopped me from searching and simply whispered into my ear, "I found you."
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[wp] Love can now be harnessed as powerful, clean energy source, but it's used up and can't be replaced. Write a story about a mother selling her love to save her child.
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> I loved my daughter very much. From the first moment I saw her, a tiny bundle of nerves and possibility, I was hooked. She was the white line of powder I woke every day for. She was the ecstasy I enjoyed in my youth, only brighter and more addicting.
> But loving her hurts. She will never be normal. Not like those other little girls. I love her so much. I don't see people anymore, I don't have friends. I haven't slept with my husband in three years. How could I? Emma is always screaming or crying or sick.
> She is a sick little girl and I am paralized. I can't do anything to help her. Sometimes she throws up blood.
> I am terrible, but I almost want her to not wake up. Then I would be free to love her without pain. There is so much pain. There is nothing I can do but sit there, watching her waste my life.
> No. I don't think you understand, at all. I love her more than anything in my life. I love her and *it hurts me.* I can't hate her, she's seven. How do you hate a child? So the more I love her the more I hate myself.
> I didn't want this. I'm 28 and so stressed. This is my life for the next fifty years. Bill is gone all the time. He has someone else. I know this. He loves other people and I just want this to work. I want to forget. I want this love gone. I am trapped by it, imprisoned. I don't want to be a mother any longer. I want to be myself. I want to love myself.
-----
> Anna Beth is beautiful, fun, vivacious. She has this little freckle on the back of her hand that I like to kiss. Sometimes she reminds me of Amelia, but there is nothing I want more than to spend the rest of my life with Anna Beth. If I could give it up? I don't think I could. Not unless everything changed.
>
> Sometimes it feels like Amelia is so caught up in her love for Emma that there isn't anything left for me. I never wanted a kid. Never. But Amelia said it would be the best thing to happen to us. Now she sits in that room with that... I know she is my daughter, but she is so sick, so stupid. I don't want anything to do with her.
>
> I used to make Amelia happy. I miss that. I really do. I would give up Anna Beth in a second if I could have Amelia back.
------
"Do you remember writing that?" Dr. Nowells asked the thin woman before her. Amelia Hancock was a poised woman, her face all clean lines and thin features. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a soft bun. She dressed like she knew what she wanted in life.
No one would have thought the words came from her. Even the picture that accompanied the testimony was foreign. One might remark, "Is that her ill sister? A cousin perhaps." No one would say the painfully overweight woman was Amelia Hancock. No one would look at her soft smile, her young face, and think she had abandoned her child. She did not have the look of a mother.
"Yes. But I don't know why I would." Amelia adjusted her body in the soft chair. "I was in a bad place. But now I feel so free. I tried to do my best by the girl and now she is with people who can truly take care of her. I was so prideful, trying to cure things so far above my paygrade."
"Do you ever visit the girl?" Nowells asked.
Amelia smiled. "No. There really is no purpose. She doesn't know me and any love they say she feels for me was taken out when I signed the waver. She is able to be around people who enjoy her."
"You do not enjoy your daughter?" Nowells asked. The doctor was fascinated by the changes in the woman. When the Swiss first suggest the project, it hadn't been met with a lot of controversy. In the early stages it had only made people uncomfortable. Now, with the right training, people like Amelia emerged from the negativity, to return to society as strong, passionate individuals.
"Legally she is not my daughter and I do not view our relationship as such," Amelia said carefully. She scratched the back of her neck and sighed, gently. "I realize now Will was very right about children. Seeing myself like that... I wasted so much of my time with him. Will is the only person who deserves my love."
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"It's ok, sweetheart," the pleasant nurse said, as I squirmed in my seat. It was just a preliminary test, I knew, but I was still nervous. I mean what would I be like without it? How would I change?
"Now imagine," she said, her voice gentle and soothing, "something that you love."
I pictured my son, Bradley. I held the image in my mind of his radiant smiling face. His golden hair illuminated in the sunlight. His shining blue eyes. His warm laugh that filled the air, my ears, and my heart. My perfect, beautiful little boy.
I heard the beep of monitors as I continued to hold the picture in my mind. Bradley, my lovely, amazing son.
"Perfect, ma'm. Now, we'll just need to run some tests, and then we'll get back to you. It shouldn't take long. Just read a magazine, and then we should be good to go."
I seated myself on a stiff sofa in a waiting room full of people, mostly those in their thirties and up. I was one of the younger patrons.
Now that Bradley was ready for school, well, I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. However, there was this program. Bradley would be sent to one of the best schools for free and be raised by loving foster parents. All I had to do was donate my love to the government. It would mean, however, I would never see him again.
I had grappled with the decision for months. Shouldn't I be there for him? After all, I was his mother. At the same time, he could be given a better life, much better than the life he had with a single mother. A young, single mother. That was the worst situation of all. In the end, I felt there was no choice. This is what I had to do.
I sat there thinking of my son. Trying to relive all our moments together. Feel all the joy I had felt with him. All the hugs and kisses. Every boo-boo and tear shed. It would all be meaningless soon enough.
After a time, what felt like entirely too soon, I was called back into an examine room. This would be it. This would be the end of Bradley.
It was like he was dying, but I knew he was only dying in my heart. That he would be out there somewhere, happy. Maybe he would even be able to remember me, remember the sacrifice I had made to give him a good life.
Electrodes were attached to my head. Love is said to be created in the heart, but it's actually from the brain. A needle was put into a vein on the inside of my elbow to collect hormones in my bloodstream. It seemed everything was prepared quickly while I said good-bye to Bradley.
"Now take a deep breath and think of someone you love," a man instructed. He was not nearly as friendly as the woman nurse from earlier, but I guess he didn't need to be. I would be totally transformed soon enough.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and thought only of Bradley. Of making blanket forts together. Searching the closet for monsters together. Baking cookies together. And before I knew it, it was all gone.
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[wp] Love can now be harnessed as powerful, clean energy source, but it's used up and can't be replaced. Write a story about a mother selling her love to save her child.
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"Your mother loved you, Ty."
"You can't tell me that. You don't know."
"She did what she had to do to save you, she sacrificed the feelings that love endows us with in order to fulfill the actions love requires from us."
Ty looked at his grandmother, his deep brown eyes brimming.
"I know I was young when it happened, but I still remember her...from before. The way she looked at me, like I actually meant something to her. I remember her warm hugs, and how if I ever got hurt she used to show concern.... Then one day she came home, back when I was still sick. I thought I was happy to finally see her come home and look at me without tears filling her eyes, but... that was before I'd ever seen them empty.
"She always looked out for me, but only to make her investment worth it. Otherwise it was just her anger, her fear, her stone cold logic. She stopped living 20 years ago, not today. She died the day she sold her love, and I've been mourning her ever since."
Tears ran freely down Ty's face now.
"I just wish you'd said goodbye mom," he said, looking upwards, as if she lived in the sky, "I love you."
|
"It's ok, sweetheart," the pleasant nurse said, as I squirmed in my seat. It was just a preliminary test, I knew, but I was still nervous. I mean what would I be like without it? How would I change?
"Now imagine," she said, her voice gentle and soothing, "something that you love."
I pictured my son, Bradley. I held the image in my mind of his radiant smiling face. His golden hair illuminated in the sunlight. His shining blue eyes. His warm laugh that filled the air, my ears, and my heart. My perfect, beautiful little boy.
I heard the beep of monitors as I continued to hold the picture in my mind. Bradley, my lovely, amazing son.
"Perfect, ma'm. Now, we'll just need to run some tests, and then we'll get back to you. It shouldn't take long. Just read a magazine, and then we should be good to go."
I seated myself on a stiff sofa in a waiting room full of people, mostly those in their thirties and up. I was one of the younger patrons.
Now that Bradley was ready for school, well, I knew I wouldn't be able to afford it. However, there was this program. Bradley would be sent to one of the best schools for free and be raised by loving foster parents. All I had to do was donate my love to the government. It would mean, however, I would never see him again.
I had grappled with the decision for months. Shouldn't I be there for him? After all, I was his mother. At the same time, he could be given a better life, much better than the life he had with a single mother. A young, single mother. That was the worst situation of all. In the end, I felt there was no choice. This is what I had to do.
I sat there thinking of my son. Trying to relive all our moments together. Feel all the joy I had felt with him. All the hugs and kisses. Every boo-boo and tear shed. It would all be meaningless soon enough.
After a time, what felt like entirely too soon, I was called back into an examine room. This would be it. This would be the end of Bradley.
It was like he was dying, but I knew he was only dying in my heart. That he would be out there somewhere, happy. Maybe he would even be able to remember me, remember the sacrifice I had made to give him a good life.
Electrodes were attached to my head. Love is said to be created in the heart, but it's actually from the brain. A needle was put into a vein on the inside of my elbow to collect hormones in my bloodstream. It seemed everything was prepared quickly while I said good-bye to Bradley.
"Now take a deep breath and think of someone you love," a man instructed. He was not nearly as friendly as the woman nurse from earlier, but I guess he didn't need to be. I would be totally transformed soon enough.
I closed my eyes, took in a deep breath, and thought only of Bradley. Of making blanket forts together. Searching the closet for monsters together. Baking cookies together. And before I knew it, it was all gone.
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Your piece should have two (or more) characters walking through the same place (like a corridor, or a garden) describing what they experience in the first person, giving insight into what sort of a person they are.
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[WP] Describe two characters through their reactions to the same event
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DCI Ross stood over what was left of the body. It was a putrid sight, ravaged by wildlife and mercilessly stuffed under a large, fallen tree. He drew on his cigarette one last time before flicking it into the nearby pond.
“Who found the body,” he asked.
“Rachel and Margo Bartcher; they are over there,” replied a young, uniformed officer while pointing toward two teenage girls just beyond the crime scene. “You ready to talk to them?”
“Sure but one at a time,” Ross said.
The officer retrieved Rachel and, without looking up, Ross asked her, “Did you know the victim?”
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I tried not to look directly at the body, my body was shaking and soft spring morning felt cold and hollow. I glanced quickly at the remains, and back to the Inspector. “Lizzie Trumbal, I think. It looks like her dress,” I replied.
“Ya, we’ve established that. I asked if you knew her,” he quipped.
“Yes sir, she was a friend of my sister.”
“How did you find the body,” he asked while writing in his notebook.
I stood there trying to remember everything correctly. The whole ordeal had been so horrid that it was hard to find the words. We had been playing the Barton Creek about two miles, when something compelled Margo to open the pedestrian gate to Haverton path, an old animal trail along the north side of the creek.
“My sister said she saw something moving down the path. I didn’t want to go but she insisted we follow it,” I said.
“Did you see anybody or anything along the path,” he questioned.
I closed my eyes. Margo had opened the gate and beckoned me to follow. She was jovial and in the mood to explore. I was cautious; Haverton Path had always frightened me. Margo did not walk with me, she ventured out ten or fifteen yards ahead. I tried to keep up, but I was scared and slow. Every step broke twigs and the sound pounded in my ears. A spring frost was still hanging on the lower limbs of the forest and gully fog hung around there trunks. As the gate disappeared behind us, I saw movement to my right. It was a quick scurry and a flash of red.
“A fox, I remember seeing a fox,” I said. “And the smell, I remember the smell.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around my body, trying to shake off the crisp air. I sped up, trying to catch Margo who seemed to float upon the fog. She stopped and waited, but not long enough for me to reach her. She yelled back at me and asked if I could smell that. My nose was cold and before she drew attention to it, the smell was not there. Then it hit me; a sickening, rancid smell. It turned my stomach and for a moment, I thought about being sick. The further I walked along the path the stronger the odor became. I put my hand over my face; it did little to keep me from gagging.
“There was this bird, a raven. It was feeding something to its young. Up there,” I pointed to a tree about fifty yards away. “It looked like meat.”
Extremely fatty meat, I thought. It sat there ripping strands of rotten sustenance off a large chunk of what we now know as Lizzie and stuffing into its fledglings eager mouths. Repeatedly, it ripped and tore, and stuffed. I closed my eyes, but in the dark, I could hear the wee birds begging for more. Then I heard Margo yell for me to come see something. I opened my eyes and ran ahead.
“We came over that hill, and there it was. I screamed, and we ran to get help”
“Have you ever been out here before,” he asked.
“Ah, just once, but not this far. For a picnic I think. It was a long time ago.”
“Ok, thank you. Go and fetch your sister. I need to get a statement from her also.”
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The inspector looked down at me and asked me if I knew Lizzie. Who didn’t know Lizzie? She was the weirdest girl in class. I told him so.
“What happened this morning, Margo?”
“We found Lizzie. We found her hiding in the woods.”
“How did you find her, Margo?”
“Like that, of course,” I pointed to Lizzie and giggled.
He was such a strange man, with strange questions. I opened the gate and I saw a fox running down the path. It was a beautiful little creature. I wanted to see where it was going. I ran ahead, Rachel is so slow. The woods scare her, but I find them beautiful.
“I was following a fox. Did you know foxes eat dead things?”
“I didn’t know that, Rachel, thank you. Did you see any people in the wood?”
I thought hard. Did Lizzie count as people, I wondered. I remembered the beautiful path and the crunchy frost under my trainers. A misty fog enveloped the forest like a woolen blanket keeping all the little creatures warm and cozy.
“No people, but there was a big raven feeding its little baby ravens. They were so cute. You could see them if you stood in the little clearing and look up at just the right angle. I like Ravens. They eat dead things too.”
He asked me if I had ever been out here before. I told him about the time we had a picnic out here; just Rachel, Lizzie, and me. We ate in the little clearing along the path. We had brought sandwiches and drinks; we had so much fun until Lizzie started being weird. As I walked along the path, I stopped at the clearing. For a moment, I became sad remembering how little Lizzie had found the baby Raven fallen from it tree. I didn’t tell him that. I didn’t tell him how we wanted to feed our sandwiches to the little bird but, Lizzie stomped it under her boot.
“Your sister said the smell almost made her sick. Why did you continue down here?”
Rachel was so melodramatic. The smell was hardly nauseating. It was sweet like spring flowers. It glided upon the air and tickled my nose. It called to me as it did the little fox and the mamma Raven. The closer I got, the sweeter the scent. It was nature’s perfume and it made me tingle all over.
“I came to see,” I giggled.
“To see what,” he asked as he looked down at the body.
“To see Lizzie feeding the baby ravens, you silly man.”
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"EVERYBODY, LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND DON'T MOVE!" the masked man carrying the assault rifle shouted.
From behind the ski mask, Ajay was sweating, and that wasn't entirely because of the heat. It was his first professional bank heist and his crew barely had two minutes before the cops would show up. Everything had to be perfect.
"Drop it, lady! Nobody's being a hero," another masked man shouted at a woman holding her phone. That was Mark and he was the most brutal of all of them.
Jason and Lenny were dealing with the tellers and getting them to empty cold hard cash into the bags. The other twenty odd bank customers were on the floor and shaking. It smelled like someone nearby had just pissed themselves in fear.
"Hurry it up! We've got less than a minute!" Ajay yelled to Jason and Lenny.
Before Ajay could even register what was happening, a gunshot rang out and Mark screamed. A second gunshot went off and Ajay felt searing pain rip through his leg.
A minute later Ajay was on a stretcher and under arrest. Damn, all he had wanted was enough cash to support his kid for the next year. No one was supposed to get hurt, least of all him.
----------------------
"EVERYBODY, LIE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND DON'T MOVE!" the masked man carrying the assault rifle shouted.
Peter was no fool. He dropped down with the other bank customers. His heart was beating against his chest like it wanted to burst out. He had been stressed enough *before* the robbery had started. He wasn't sure if the heist made things even worse or if it was a relief. His pistol pressed up against the inside of his jacket pocket. Thank god it hadn't accidentally gone off.
Next to Peter, a woman pulled out her iPhone and started to dial. The biggest and most crazed looking masked man noticed immediately and aimed his rifle at her head.
"Drop it, lady! Nobody's being a hero."
The woman squeaked and Peter could immediately smell urine. Gross.
That gave Peter an idea though. The robbers didn't want anyone to be a hero? Maybe being a hero was exactly what Peter needed to do right now to get out of this mess. The smaller masked man was occupied for the time being, watching his crew clean out the registers.
"Hurry it up! We've got less than a minute!" the smaller masked man yelled.
Crazy mask turned. This was Peter's chance. He reached into his jacket, grabbed his pistol and without thinking about it, fired at crazy mask. It hit the robber square in the back and he screamed as he collapsed. Small mask turned but Peter got the second shot off quickly. It struck small mask's leg and he went down too.
Minutes later the robbers were under arrest and Peter was being celebrated as a hero by the police. That whole ordeal had been far too close for comfort. Peter had literally been thirty seconds away from robbing the place himself.
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[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
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It was the Navy that got all the funding. Experience with ships of course. The government didn’t trust anyone else that might get delusions of power and influence. NASA was folded into the Navy and the mission was realigned.The Navy was no longer a planet based entity, the combined Army and Air Force would take that mission. The new NASA division of the Navy provided the space know how, but the different Navy engineering groups, NAWCWD, SPAWAR, NAVSEA; The Navy and Marines trusted us to give them the tools they would need and we did.
There were a lot of new faces back then. Everyone out to prove themselves. All the civilian scientist and engineers wanted to be on the mission we knew was coming. Only 100 went with the 1000 uniformed personnel.
We launched, went to the Great Ship, and then we ran out of ideas. The ship was massive no question. We knew it wasn't solid though. There wasn't enough gravity. It silently drifted past the asteroid belt and barely disturbed anything. If Jupiter had more influence over the asteroid belt, that meant there had to be empty space in it.Which meant something could be inside.
I was getting annoyed though. Not by the lack of progress. It was my own nagging voice in my head. The sphere wasn’t perfect. Like Galileo looking up to the Moon with his telescope and realizing the Moon wasn’t perfect, as we got close we realized the Great Ship wasn’t a sphere. Nears its equator, it was pulled in, kinda like Earth. It drove me crazy, that the imperfection. Course these Aliens knew better, right? I mean they had to. I laughed to myself.
“Sir, random laughter like that is why we call you the Mad Scientist.”
“I put theories into practice, I’m a Mad Engineer, not a scientist.”
“Right, whatever, you say Sir. What’s so funny anyway?”
I turned and looked back at the Marine on night watch. “I just had a stupid idea. The sphere is not perfect. What if I sent them the equations that made it perfect.”
“I thought they had ignored all the math and shit you egg-heads had sent.”
“They have. I’m just throwing out stupid ideas. Hey you, thats an eye sore. Fix your shit.” I said shaking my fist toward the Great Ship out the window. Maybe I was starting to lose my mind.
The Marine chuckled. “Go for it.”
A few taps of the glass pad and the radios were sending my equations. Then nothing happened.
I threw up my hands. “Well it was stupid ide--”. The ship shuddered...hard. “What was that?” I asked looking up.
Alerts were blaring now and the intercom was giving orders. I glanced at my console. New readings were coming in. The Great Ship was changed. It was now…..perfect. Sensors were started to pick up heat signatures on the Great Ship. Systems, its systems, were coming online. I looked out the window. “I think I found the power switch” I spoke to no one as lights on the Great Ship glowed. Then there was a noise like the sound of an air leak. Then green light filled my eyes. Then it passed. I looked back towards the window. Was it moving away?
The Marine grabbed my arm and pulled me from my thoughts. “Admiral wants to see you in OPS. Hope you've got some answers. The ship just changed direction.”
We walked; No, ran in silence. OPS was still the dark room you see in movies. Bunch of Navy types looking at screens. The Admiral took one look at me and the room got very quiet. There were no other civilians around.
“Not sure what you did but, I’m told you just got its attention?”
“What's its trajectory, Sir?”
The Admiral pointed to a sailor then motioned toward the main screen. A second of furious typing then the screen changed. “According to the timeline, 11 seconds after your transmission the ship stopped moving. 5 seconds after we detected a burst of radiation directed at us. 5 seconds after that, the ship changed direction.”
I looked and took in what I saw. Not Earth, not the Sun. “Ceres? Its heading to Ceres."
“Perfect intercept trajectory. What's more is it affecting the asteroid belt. Pulling rocks towards it as it moves. That shouldn't be happening. The asteroid belt is so spread out gravity can't pull them that fast. This shouldn't be possible.”
“Do we have any recent surveys of Ceres.” I asked.
“No but I thinks its time we got one.” The Admiral turned and people started moving. “Contact NASA division, and request help from ESA too. I need every telescope pointed at Ceres. I don’t care if it is in service or not. We need data.”
|
"A nuclear bombardment."
"What in the actual fuck?"
The current president of the United States has been collaborating these past few weeks trying to grab the attention of a nearby spaceship. However, the spaceship simply stalks the solar system has all of Earth's governments do pretentious acts. Some of these acts included prioritizing any nearby space-craft to its location, staging fake wars, and sending at least thousands of universal codes by now. But as of now, the U.S. president may have founded the best idea to date.
"Just think about it, we now have the technology to send international nuclear warheads. Why not extend it a little further and send several into space for good measure?" The president's secretary stared at him bewildered, acknowledging that it's a far better idea than anyone else came up with, but fearful of accidents or screw-ups.
"We have to at least try. Carol, this is a once in *forever* event, one that could practically jump the planet from the 21st to 25th century in months!"
"I'll... get the executive officer on the line."
Carol walked with an nervously hastened pace while the president stared at the glass pane window behind him.
"Time to make history."
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[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
|
It was the Navy that got all the funding. Experience with ships of course. The government didn’t trust anyone else that might get delusions of power and influence. NASA was folded into the Navy and the mission was realigned.The Navy was no longer a planet based entity, the combined Army and Air Force would take that mission. The new NASA division of the Navy provided the space know how, but the different Navy engineering groups, NAWCWD, SPAWAR, NAVSEA; The Navy and Marines trusted us to give them the tools they would need and we did.
There were a lot of new faces back then. Everyone out to prove themselves. All the civilian scientist and engineers wanted to be on the mission we knew was coming. Only 100 went with the 1000 uniformed personnel.
We launched, went to the Great Ship, and then we ran out of ideas. The ship was massive no question. We knew it wasn't solid though. There wasn't enough gravity. It silently drifted past the asteroid belt and barely disturbed anything. If Jupiter had more influence over the asteroid belt, that meant there had to be empty space in it.Which meant something could be inside.
I was getting annoyed though. Not by the lack of progress. It was my own nagging voice in my head. The sphere wasn’t perfect. Like Galileo looking up to the Moon with his telescope and realizing the Moon wasn’t perfect, as we got close we realized the Great Ship wasn’t a sphere. Nears its equator, it was pulled in, kinda like Earth. It drove me crazy, that the imperfection. Course these Aliens knew better, right? I mean they had to. I laughed to myself.
“Sir, random laughter like that is why we call you the Mad Scientist.”
“I put theories into practice, I’m a Mad Engineer, not a scientist.”
“Right, whatever, you say Sir. What’s so funny anyway?”
I turned and looked back at the Marine on night watch. “I just had a stupid idea. The sphere is not perfect. What if I sent them the equations that made it perfect.”
“I thought they had ignored all the math and shit you egg-heads had sent.”
“They have. I’m just throwing out stupid ideas. Hey you, thats an eye sore. Fix your shit.” I said shaking my fist toward the Great Ship out the window. Maybe I was starting to lose my mind.
The Marine chuckled. “Go for it.”
A few taps of the glass pad and the radios were sending my equations. Then nothing happened.
I threw up my hands. “Well it was stupid ide--”. The ship shuddered...hard. “What was that?” I asked looking up.
Alerts were blaring now and the intercom was giving orders. I glanced at my console. New readings were coming in. The Great Ship was changed. It was now…..perfect. Sensors were started to pick up heat signatures on the Great Ship. Systems, its systems, were coming online. I looked out the window. “I think I found the power switch” I spoke to no one as lights on the Great Ship glowed. Then there was a noise like the sound of an air leak. Then green light filled my eyes. Then it passed. I looked back towards the window. Was it moving away?
The Marine grabbed my arm and pulled me from my thoughts. “Admiral wants to see you in OPS. Hope you've got some answers. The ship just changed direction.”
We walked; No, ran in silence. OPS was still the dark room you see in movies. Bunch of Navy types looking at screens. The Admiral took one look at me and the room got very quiet. There were no other civilians around.
“Not sure what you did but, I’m told you just got its attention?”
“What's its trajectory, Sir?”
The Admiral pointed to a sailor then motioned toward the main screen. A second of furious typing then the screen changed. “According to the timeline, 11 seconds after your transmission the ship stopped moving. 5 seconds after we detected a burst of radiation directed at us. 5 seconds after that, the ship changed direction.”
I looked and took in what I saw. Not Earth, not the Sun. “Ceres? Its heading to Ceres."
“Perfect intercept trajectory. What's more is it affecting the asteroid belt. Pulling rocks towards it as it moves. That shouldn't be happening. The asteroid belt is so spread out gravity can't pull them that fast. This shouldn't be possible.”
“Do we have any recent surveys of Ceres.” I asked.
“No but I thinks its time we got one.” The Admiral turned and people started moving. “Contact NASA division, and request help from ESA too. I need every telescope pointed at Ceres. I don’t care if it is in service or not. We need data.”
|
"...and KABOOM!" The scale Earth model exploded and paper mâché fluttered about the international situation room, landing in the hair of the less than entertained officials.
"...Off we zoom, into a new age for humanity, and new hope for human kind. We don't know who or what they are, but we do know who and what we are. A ship that size, we could colonize the exterior and thrive like a barnacle. The detonation should be enough to catch their attention, distract them, and slow them down- all while propelling our fleet towards the future!" The speaker finished the presentation with a skyward flourish.
There was no applause.
As the room returned to being lit the speaker noticed many had grown pale. One older gentleman had gone as far as feigning a heart attack, three were scribbling frustrated in their files, and almost everyone else solemnly plucked bits of paper from their hair. For whole minutes the room remained silent. Nobody dare look at the speaker, nobody save the woman with eyes as dark as space itself.
She stared unblinking at the speaker, hands folded beneath her chin, elbows propped on the table. While everyone else busied themselves with the present mess, muttering that a PowerPoint would have been just as effective in conveying the point, this woman's mind was steady at work.
"I have a question," she said, breaking the hush and attracting every eye. A circular light on her collar sparked to life, indicating that at the present moment she had the floor. The room sat at attention.
"How soon?"
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[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
|
It was the Navy that got all the funding. Experience with ships of course. The government didn’t trust anyone else that might get delusions of power and influence. NASA was folded into the Navy and the mission was realigned.The Navy was no longer a planet based entity, the combined Army and Air Force would take that mission. The new NASA division of the Navy provided the space know how, but the different Navy engineering groups, NAWCWD, SPAWAR, NAVSEA; The Navy and Marines trusted us to give them the tools they would need and we did.
There were a lot of new faces back then. Everyone out to prove themselves. All the civilian scientist and engineers wanted to be on the mission we knew was coming. Only 100 went with the 1000 uniformed personnel.
We launched, went to the Great Ship, and then we ran out of ideas. The ship was massive no question. We knew it wasn't solid though. There wasn't enough gravity. It silently drifted past the asteroid belt and barely disturbed anything. If Jupiter had more influence over the asteroid belt, that meant there had to be empty space in it.Which meant something could be inside.
I was getting annoyed though. Not by the lack of progress. It was my own nagging voice in my head. The sphere wasn’t perfect. Like Galileo looking up to the Moon with his telescope and realizing the Moon wasn’t perfect, as we got close we realized the Great Ship wasn’t a sphere. Nears its equator, it was pulled in, kinda like Earth. It drove me crazy, that the imperfection. Course these Aliens knew better, right? I mean they had to. I laughed to myself.
“Sir, random laughter like that is why we call you the Mad Scientist.”
“I put theories into practice, I’m a Mad Engineer, not a scientist.”
“Right, whatever, you say Sir. What’s so funny anyway?”
I turned and looked back at the Marine on night watch. “I just had a stupid idea. The sphere is not perfect. What if I sent them the equations that made it perfect.”
“I thought they had ignored all the math and shit you egg-heads had sent.”
“They have. I’m just throwing out stupid ideas. Hey you, thats an eye sore. Fix your shit.” I said shaking my fist toward the Great Ship out the window. Maybe I was starting to lose my mind.
The Marine chuckled. “Go for it.”
A few taps of the glass pad and the radios were sending my equations. Then nothing happened.
I threw up my hands. “Well it was stupid ide--”. The ship shuddered...hard. “What was that?” I asked looking up.
Alerts were blaring now and the intercom was giving orders. I glanced at my console. New readings were coming in. The Great Ship was changed. It was now…..perfect. Sensors were started to pick up heat signatures on the Great Ship. Systems, its systems, were coming online. I looked out the window. “I think I found the power switch” I spoke to no one as lights on the Great Ship glowed. Then there was a noise like the sound of an air leak. Then green light filled my eyes. Then it passed. I looked back towards the window. Was it moving away?
The Marine grabbed my arm and pulled me from my thoughts. “Admiral wants to see you in OPS. Hope you've got some answers. The ship just changed direction.”
We walked; No, ran in silence. OPS was still the dark room you see in movies. Bunch of Navy types looking at screens. The Admiral took one look at me and the room got very quiet. There were no other civilians around.
“Not sure what you did but, I’m told you just got its attention?”
“What's its trajectory, Sir?”
The Admiral pointed to a sailor then motioned toward the main screen. A second of furious typing then the screen changed. “According to the timeline, 11 seconds after your transmission the ship stopped moving. 5 seconds after we detected a burst of radiation directed at us. 5 seconds after that, the ship changed direction.”
I looked and took in what I saw. Not Earth, not the Sun. “Ceres? Its heading to Ceres."
“Perfect intercept trajectory. What's more is it affecting the asteroid belt. Pulling rocks towards it as it moves. That shouldn't be happening. The asteroid belt is so spread out gravity can't pull them that fast. This shouldn't be possible.”
“Do we have any recent surveys of Ceres.” I asked.
“No but I thinks its time we got one.” The Admiral turned and people started moving. “Contact NASA division, and request help from ESA too. I need every telescope pointed at Ceres. I don’t care if it is in service or not. We need data.”
|
"Let's not make any ruckus at all, because trying to draw the attention of a spaceship that size is extremely dangerous," said Bob. "Holy shit, Bob's right," said everyone else.
So the spaceship passed and the Earth continued to exist, thanks to Bob and his obvious suggestion. Thanks, Bob.
The end.
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[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
|
The world is ending. Some don't want to admit it, but it's true. My 8 year old mind can understand it, so why can't theirs? The UFO will strike the earth in 3 minutes, and here I am, playing with my yoyo. My room is soon to be my coffin.What else could I do? Everyone else is outside, blaring megaphones, screaming, jumping up and down, trying to make a noise loud enough to be heard. It won't work. I am willing to except my fate, why aren't they? I feel feet running on the stair; the door to my room bursts open. "JoJo, come do your part, screech, scream, make sound, WE MUST GET THEM TO HEAR US!!!" My signs of protest are useless as my father grabs me out of the comfort of my room, and onto the roof. The noise is probably deafening, but how would i know?"Yell JoJo, make noise!" my father frantically signs to me. It won't work,what could sound possibly do? I've lived without it all my life, how could it save me now. But i see my father's eyes. I've never seen him scared before. I do it, for him. I open my mouth, and scream. What that scream sounded like, I'll never know, but I do know it was enough to save the Earth.
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Jack decided that something was wrong and woke up. Upon closer inspection, the world appeared exceptionally ordinary, and Jack decided to go back to sleep only to jump out of bed a few seconds later, cursing on top of his lungs. Today was a big day.
It was the 21st of August, and Jack had an eclipse planned. Not a puny, laughable eclipse, not a pathetic excuse for an eclipse, but a full, healthy, American spectacle, and Jack was not going to miss it.
He got dressed in a hurry. Outside, the sun was shining, unaware of the terrible fate that it was about to encounter. Having completed his morning routine, Jack went downstairs and made himself a cup of coffee. It was Monday, but Jack took a day off work, as, he was pretty sure, did plenty of others. After all, no one needed him to sit at the missile command centre all day with nothing better to do than trying to stare down a wall.
He went outside. The sun was still shining, the birds were still singing, and the temporary darkness was slowly approaching in the form of Earth's nearest celestial body. Jack smiled to himself. He was not even alive the last time anything like this happened. Which, he thought to himself, made today even better.
After a quick stroll down the street, he entered a small cafe, went online, and scrolled through the morning news that were big on the total and partial solar eclipses alongside the usual "Fashion to Flatter Every Figure" and "Eat Yourself Happy" articles.
Time passed. Jack waited attentively. Time passed some more. Jack read all about the latest fashion trends. Time crawled like a baby with a habit of going around in circles. Jack waited. And then he fell out of his chair.
The eclipse started. The eclipse started, and Jack immediately decided that something was terribly wrong. For one thing, the eclipse was not for another half an hour. For another, the eclipse seemed to resemble a giant spaceship. Jack couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly bothered him the most, but he decided that the whole thing was rather rude.
Outside, people were now screaming. The ship was gliding across the sky, an enormous phallic-shaped contraption, completely unaware of the tiny planet below. It hung in the sky in a way that made it perfectly clear that it had come to stay. Jack swore loudly. The ship clearly intended to steal his only chance of seeing a total solar eclipse, and Jack found himself screaming and waving his hands in a vain attempt to scare it off.
The ship didn't move. Perhaps it has come to enjoy the show, or perhaps it was going to take off any minute, but Jack was not going to give it the benefit of doubt. He made his way through the screaming crowd, and headed for the control centre. Maybe taking a day off was not such a good idea anyway.
For all Jack knew, the ship would have to go, and it would have to go in the next half an hour.
|
|
[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
|
It moved so slowly. So horrifyingly awfully dreadfully slow.
If it had moved faster, there might have been some decent hint of reassurance that the ship might be in transit, onto another location soon, but there was nothing.
The scientists were able to discern after weeks of panicked research that it would indeed leave the system, but at a much slower pace than it had entered. The type of warp it had used must have needed some type of warm-up they figured, which was why it seemed to rely only on the thrusters at the back of it's unremarkable hull while passing between our planet and the sun.
The first few hours of contact were exciting, like the build-up to a solar eclipse. There was no panic like the movies would show, instead a dark gray behemoth in the distance, only noticeable in the parts of the planet currently experiencing day.
Then it got closer...its path blocked out the sun, and the euphoria of discovery was extinguished. The world governments panicked, tried launching missiles and radiation beams at the ship in an attempt to get it's attention or destroy it. Nothing worked, its shields seemed impregnable, and the nukes were snuffed away. The ship itself, resembling a smashed jelly bean, appeared ancient, but the crevices running along its hull must have been thousands of miles wide. It had some sort of navigation system, it was able to avoid our moon and some of the larger asteroids, but it gave no response to anything we sent to it.
Then one day, with our scientists exhausted after weeks of working to find a solution, one of them had a breakthrough while reading to her child. As the old Doctor Seuss story goes, we all decided to make a statement as a planet, simultaneously sending radio waves and flashing our electrical grids on and off.
It was one of the greatest examples of international cooperation ever witnessed. Within a few days all the nations of the world (with the exception of North Korea) had agreed to take part. Everyone was encouraged to participate, turning all the lights of their house on so that the flash of the electrical grid would be most noticeable. Hospitals were instructed to cover all of their windows, since their power supplies would not be affected, and all flights were grounded with collision beacons turned off on all the buildings.
The date was set, all the systems were ready. When the sun set over the west coast of the Americas, the lights began flashing everywhere. We kept up the flashing for almost a full cycle, but the ship seemed to take no notice. The astronauts on the ISS reported seeing a glorious slow flash of all the lights of the world going on an off, changing between utter darkness and brilliance every twenty seconds, but the ship remained the same, no scans were reported, nothing changed.
Then, as we were ready to give up, we decided to ask once more for the help of the most oppressive nation. We pleaded to North Korea to join us, more in an act of desperation on our behalves over the whole thing rather than believing their contribution would help. We had no more ideas, we had to try it. After much deliberation, they agreed. The order was given to attempt for one more hour the simultaneous flashing of all the world's lights.
With the little speck of light given off by North Korea, a threshold must have been reached on the ship's sensors, for something incredible happened. As soon as the switch was flipped, the grey behemoth in the sky moved away, and left the system almost as quickly as they had arrived. In the end, it was the littlest voice that had helped make the biggest difference.
When later asked for an official response to the development of events, North Korea responded:
"They hate us cause they ain't us."
fin
[Obligatory First Post!]
Inspired by 'Horton Hears a Who' by Dr. Seuss
|
Jack decided that something was wrong and woke up. Upon closer inspection, the world appeared exceptionally ordinary, and Jack decided to go back to sleep only to jump out of bed a few seconds later, cursing on top of his lungs. Today was a big day.
It was the 21st of August, and Jack had an eclipse planned. Not a puny, laughable eclipse, not a pathetic excuse for an eclipse, but a full, healthy, American spectacle, and Jack was not going to miss it.
He got dressed in a hurry. Outside, the sun was shining, unaware of the terrible fate that it was about to encounter. Having completed his morning routine, Jack went downstairs and made himself a cup of coffee. It was Monday, but Jack took a day off work, as, he was pretty sure, did plenty of others. After all, no one needed him to sit at the missile command centre all day with nothing better to do than trying to stare down a wall.
He went outside. The sun was still shining, the birds were still singing, and the temporary darkness was slowly approaching in the form of Earth's nearest celestial body. Jack smiled to himself. He was not even alive the last time anything like this happened. Which, he thought to himself, made today even better.
After a quick stroll down the street, he entered a small cafe, went online, and scrolled through the morning news that were big on the total and partial solar eclipses alongside the usual "Fashion to Flatter Every Figure" and "Eat Yourself Happy" articles.
Time passed. Jack waited attentively. Time passed some more. Jack read all about the latest fashion trends. Time crawled like a baby with a habit of going around in circles. Jack waited. And then he fell out of his chair.
The eclipse started. The eclipse started, and Jack immediately decided that something was terribly wrong. For one thing, the eclipse was not for another half an hour. For another, the eclipse seemed to resemble a giant spaceship. Jack couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly bothered him the most, but he decided that the whole thing was rather rude.
Outside, people were now screaming. The ship was gliding across the sky, an enormous phallic-shaped contraption, completely unaware of the tiny planet below. It hung in the sky in a way that made it perfectly clear that it had come to stay. Jack swore loudly. The ship clearly intended to steal his only chance of seeing a total solar eclipse, and Jack found himself screaming and waving his hands in a vain attempt to scare it off.
The ship didn't move. Perhaps it has come to enjoy the show, or perhaps it was going to take off any minute, but Jack was not going to give it the benefit of doubt. He made his way through the screaming crowd, and headed for the control centre. Maybe taking a day off was not such a good idea anyway.
For all Jack knew, the ship would have to go, and it would have to go in the next half an hour.
|
|
[WP] A spaceship is passing by our solar system. It is so large that earth is merely the size of a dime. We can't make enough ruckus to get noticed until one day, someone has the perfect idea.
|
God, we all tried to get that spaceship's attention.
It just... Appeared one day. Blocking the sun and shit. We really wanted it to move, so crops could grow, you know?
It's fucking huge, mate. Like... I can see the logo from the bloody ground.
Anyways, we needed the UFO (more of an IFO, because anybody with half a brain could see it) to move. We tried everything. Probes. Radio. Explosions. We even tried launching stuff at it, but no dice.
So I guess the President of the United States got this big idea that we would go to it. Seems smart, right? Nothing could go wrong, right?
So the President gathers all the best and brightest and shit the world has to offer. They got astronauts. Scientists. Linguists. Reporters. Cooks. Surgeons. Military. They even had celebrities, because who doesn't love celebrities in space?
But anyways, they get there, right? Military's all ready to shoot, diplomats are ready to negotiate, and Colbert is ready to figure out whether or not they're Republican.
And you'll never guess. The ships' bloody empty! There's giant furniture lying around and shit, bigger than France, just sitting there.
So they find what some archaeologist thinks is the ship's control room. Big levels and fancy shit.
They climb up to the dashboard, and they see the craziest thing on the window.
It's a bloody parking ticket. Literally looks just like the ones on Earth. It had a drawing of the sun, with a big red X on it.
The ship dissapeared a week later. Guess poor sod got towed.
|
Jack decided that something was wrong and woke up. Upon closer inspection, the world appeared exceptionally ordinary, and Jack decided to go back to sleep only to jump out of bed a few seconds later, cursing on top of his lungs. Today was a big day.
It was the 21st of August, and Jack had an eclipse planned. Not a puny, laughable eclipse, not a pathetic excuse for an eclipse, but a full, healthy, American spectacle, and Jack was not going to miss it.
He got dressed in a hurry. Outside, the sun was shining, unaware of the terrible fate that it was about to encounter. Having completed his morning routine, Jack went downstairs and made himself a cup of coffee. It was Monday, but Jack took a day off work, as, he was pretty sure, did plenty of others. After all, no one needed him to sit at the missile command centre all day with nothing better to do than trying to stare down a wall.
He went outside. The sun was still shining, the birds were still singing, and the temporary darkness was slowly approaching in the form of Earth's nearest celestial body. Jack smiled to himself. He was not even alive the last time anything like this happened. Which, he thought to himself, made today even better.
After a quick stroll down the street, he entered a small cafe, went online, and scrolled through the morning news that were big on the total and partial solar eclipses alongside the usual "Fashion to Flatter Every Figure" and "Eat Yourself Happy" articles.
Time passed. Jack waited attentively. Time passed some more. Jack read all about the latest fashion trends. Time crawled like a baby with a habit of going around in circles. Jack waited. And then he fell out of his chair.
The eclipse started. The eclipse started, and Jack immediately decided that something was terribly wrong. For one thing, the eclipse was not for another half an hour. For another, the eclipse seemed to resemble a giant spaceship. Jack couldn't quite put his finger on what exactly bothered him the most, but he decided that the whole thing was rather rude.
Outside, people were now screaming. The ship was gliding across the sky, an enormous phallic-shaped contraption, completely unaware of the tiny planet below. It hung in the sky in a way that made it perfectly clear that it had come to stay. Jack swore loudly. The ship clearly intended to steal his only chance of seeing a total solar eclipse, and Jack found himself screaming and waving his hands in a vain attempt to scare it off.
The ship didn't move. Perhaps it has come to enjoy the show, or perhaps it was going to take off any minute, but Jack was not going to give it the benefit of doubt. He made his way through the screaming crowd, and headed for the control centre. Maybe taking a day off was not such a good idea anyway.
For all Jack knew, the ship would have to go, and it would have to go in the next half an hour.
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130 years ago aliens detected large amounts of free oxygen molecules in our atmosphere through their new extrasolar telescope. This being a strong indication of life they sent a probe to earth carrying several autonomous drones to explore our planet and search for intelligent life.
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[WP] First contact with aliens that are not much more advanced than we are.
|
There wasn't really much to say. It was a little difficult trying to get the bloodstains off my pants, but other than that, it was like encountering a couple of stupid teenagers.
It started off as a beautiful night, if a bit cold. The ducks at the park were fighting over the crumbs I tossed into the water. A bossy green-headed mallard was pushing the others aside, hogging most of the bits I tossed to them. He did this every time I fed them, and I grew to develop a bond with him. I decided to name him Steven.
I was trying to get a good shot of him with my phone, but every time the flash went off he would dive his head under water.
"Well, screw you too, Steve," I told him.
I finished ripping up the stale bagel in my hand and tossed the rest of the bits at the other birds. Some freaked out, the others fought over the scraps.
I fixed my scarf and started to head back home when I noticed something slide across the grass.
I walked towards it and it jerked away. I pulled out my phone and shone the flashlight at it. It was a t-bone steak, still uncooked, and it was slowly working it's way towards a set of small bushes.
I could hear snickering behind it.
"Shhh," a voice spoke. "See, now he heard us!"
"Well, still drag it in," another voice responded. "He might still go for it."
I looked towards the bush, and the talking hushed to indecipherable whispers.
Suddenly, it rattled and two furry little people came out, the first orange and white like a tabby cat, and the other a chestnut brown. Both had huge, goofy heads and squirrel-like tails.
They walked towards me slowly, their palms held out.
"Come here, little guy" the orange one said. "We're not going to harm you, see?"
He tugged on a string and the steak jiggled on the ground. "Come on now, come get the steak. Big, juicy steak."
The other one pulled a small black square out of his pocket and pointed at me. A dull light shone out of it and then shut off. He giggled to himself and showed the box to his friend, who snickered in turn.
"Oh my god, he's so cute!" the brown one said.
"Stop!" the other said, "You're going to freak him out with that light."
"I know, but he's so adorbs!"
"Guys!" I yelled at them. "I can hear you."
"Oh god. He's angry!" Cried the orange one. "What do we do?"
"Play dead! No, wait. Raise your hands up. Look taller than him."
"He's still taller than us, even if we raise our hands up!"
"Throw the steak!"
The orange one shook his fist at me, and suddenly the steak started glowing bright blue. The light grew brighter and brighter, and soon it was completely blinding. "Ok guys, what the hell!" I tried to yell at them.
*Splat*
Next thing I know, the light is gone and there's steak juice all over my knees. The t-bone was splattered on the grass in front of me, bits of fat stuck to my shoe.
When I looked up I only saw two large squirrel tails disappearing behind the shrubs.
|
They called for an impeachment.
President John Ellis Bush looked again at the screen, showing a circular drone, reportedly made of elements not found on Earth. "What do you think, Sam?"
A *fucking* impeachment.
"Sir." The Chief of Staff looked around the room. "I think that we can worry about this later. Right now we need to secure your face with the public before they decide to impeach-"
He stopped talking as the President held up a hand.
"We have found proof of alien life," he spoke to the room, voice carrying to each of the generals, the intelligence analysts, those deemed important enough to be in the situation room. "Proof... and you stand there telling me to *save face* with the public? I'm not my father, Sam."
"Yes, sir." He looked down.
"Should we go public?" The President asked the room.
"Sir," A general spoke, one with more badges on his uniform than stars on the flag. "That would be a mistake. Can you imagine the uproar? The-"
"People have a right to know." A female analyst spoke up.
"Idealism isn't going to help-" The general cut off as the President spoke.
"Sam?"
The Chief of Staff looked up. "Sir?"
"Should we go public?"
Samuel nodded. "It would take the spotlight off... *other* events."
President Jeb Bush nodded. He didn't speak of it often, but he knew he really would be impeached unless something drastic happened. Perhaps it could simply be a more exciting news story.
The situation room was quiet for a long moment.
"Sam." The President said.
"Sir?"
"Prepare a statement." The President stood up and lowered his hand for the staff to seat themselves as he walked out. "I want this out by lunch."
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[WP] The hero can't figure out how to stop the villain. The solution seems obvious to you, an innocent bystander.
|
"So from the beginning, tell me what happened." said the police officer.
Officer, like I said before, as the smoke cleared from the rubble, the two metahumans emerged. I could make out one of them as being Weather Wizard and the other, the Flash.
Weather Wizard was generating lighting, harnessing the energy in his hands. The Flash meanwhile, was trying to avoid the bolts at all cost.
"And where were you son when this was all happening?"
For the third time, I was delivering Mountain Spring Water at 129th Central Ave. like I always do sir.
"Continue," the officer said scribbling on his notepad.
So that's when I thought about the time I dropped my Iphone in a puddle. I'm talking Iphone 3 here, nothing fancy, it lit up like a Christmas tree. That's when it hit me. Weather Wizard isn't anything but an Iphone 6 with fewer apps - I'm sure he would light up too.
At that point, I started dumping all the water into the streets. Still, the Flash wasn't paying any attention. The next bolt that Weather Wizard generated cause the guy to have what looked like a conniption. Of course, the Flash took all the credit for it all but that's okay.
"So what's the problem here again sir?" The officer said - now annoyed by the smugness.
Nothing. My boss told me to fill out a police report and bill S.T.A.R. Labs.
|
I can’t believe it. My heart pounds in sync with the sounds of the knocks on the old wooden door in a non-descript apartment. After years of searching I’ve found him. My superiors will be pleased.
He opens the door.
*Oh my gosh it’s really him. This is really happening. No keep it cool. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of him. Keep it cool Clayton.*
“How can I help you.” the blind man asks. His New York manners showing through. Just as my algorithms had predicted he would.
“The real question, is how can I help you?” I said, careful to show him how sincere my offer was. “After all, I bet this is the first time a fan has come to find you.”
For a brief moment fear crossed the man without fear’s face. It was quickly replaced with anger.
*I should probably cut that short before he gets any other ideas. Dammit Clayton*
“I work for the government. I know how to protect you.” I said squeezing as much information into my voice as possible. “I’ve been supremely interested in getting you to work for us.”
“How. How did you find me?” He asked. “Actually wait, come in first.”
He stepped to the side of the door. To let me pass.
*Oh my gosh oh my gosh he’s inviting me into his house!*
Aloud I said, “Of course Mr. Murdock.” And stepped through the door to sit on a ragged looking couch in a messy room. Ugh. Talk about living up to expectations.
“Now, as I was saying, the government is very interested in getting to get you to work for them. Mr. Murdock.” I said eager to continue. What I had done was nothing short of remarkable.
“First tell me how you found me.” He growled annoyance showing through his voice.
*Dammit of course he wants to know that first. You are such an idiot Clayton.*
“Right.” I said trying not to let my distress show. “That part was actually relatively simple you see. Quite simply I used math.”
“You found me with math?”
“Of course. First I had to create a heat map of all the reported sightings of you. That was rather simple. Then I ran a probabilistic analysis of any common locations within range of those locations eliminated obvious points of origin and found two significant points of origin, Somewhere on this block, and the courthouse. After that it was a simple elimination process of who had commonly been both here and there as frequently as you, after that I cross referenced other indicators against our government database, on which you scored a high probability of mental instability, and therefore it had to be you.” I exclaimed.
“I see.” He responded, seemingly growing embarrassed. “So you said you could help me?”
*Dammit Clayton, you just insulted him.*
“Well first of all ‘secret’ identity nothwithstanding you have a good potential to work for the government and get some real work done.” I said pulling out some papers from my bag.
‘What can the government do for me that I can’t do for myself?” He asked rage almost creeping into his voice. “Justice is blind!”
“Well we can take out the kingpin. I have a remote access urbanized surveillance drone that I should probably not tell you about with its sights aimed directly at the kingpin’s head 24/7. Just sign the papers and he’s dead.”
“Is that… Legal?” He asked incredulously. Ever the lawyer.
“Is what legal?” I asked.
“Killing him without due process.”
“There’s been due process. He’s been on our hit list for a while.”
“So he’s been indicted?” He asked incredulously.
“No. he’s been added to our blacklist. Marked for execution as soon as you sign the paperwork.” I said.
“What would I have to do?” He asked resolve in his mind.
“Do you like flying?” I asked.
“No.” He said and picked up a pen.
|
|
[WP] The hero can't figure out how to stop the villain. The solution seems obvious to you, an innocent bystander.
|
"Just shoot him!" I shouted watching from 20 yards back.
"What?" The masked man yelled at me in a raspy voice from behind cover.
The oddly dressed man stood on a beam at the construction sight 50 feet above and threw explosives at the car our 'hero' hid behind. Minute by minute he pushed down a comically large plunger and another skyscraper, hospital, school would explode in plain sight.
"Just shoot him... There are like 30 cops watching right there with guns strapped to their hips. Take one of their weapons and do it"
"Shoot him?" he said to me confused "like... with bullets?"
"Yea, he's got you pinned behind that wreckage with bombs and tear gas and you're just sitting there watching him blow the city up."
He just looked at me with a blank stare and a furrowed brow.
"He's killing people!" I shouted.
The police all stood by and watched us have this arguement, until one officer finally walked up to me. "Just let him do his thing, son"
"What? Wh.. Why? Why are none of you doing anything anyway? This guys doing millions of dollars in damage to your city in a purple suit and clown make-up and your letting this guy in a black leather skin suit take control and watch."
I looked at the caped avenger cower at the sound of the explosions until I finally looked at the officer and said "Watch..."
I unstrapped his holster, took his pistol, aimed and shot three rounds off, each making solid contact to the mans chest until his purple lapel saturated red. He fell backwards off of the beam to the concrete. It was not pretty.
Silence fell over the city for what seemed to be the first time in decades. The by-standers all looked at his body in amazement. The police seemed to finally clue in and began to rush in pulling out handcuffs and pepper-spray.
I looked at the batman, scoffed and said
"I guess I was the hero they nee- HOLY FUCK OW JESUS" just then all of the officers took me down in a fury of handcuffs, football tackles, and pepper spray.
Bail was set at $50,000. My court-date is next week.
|
I can’t believe it. My heart pounds in sync with the sounds of the knocks on the old wooden door in a non-descript apartment. After years of searching I’ve found him. My superiors will be pleased.
He opens the door.
*Oh my gosh it’s really him. This is really happening. No keep it cool. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of him. Keep it cool Clayton.*
“How can I help you.” the blind man asks. His New York manners showing through. Just as my algorithms had predicted he would.
“The real question, is how can I help you?” I said, careful to show him how sincere my offer was. “After all, I bet this is the first time a fan has come to find you.”
For a brief moment fear crossed the man without fear’s face. It was quickly replaced with anger.
*I should probably cut that short before he gets any other ideas. Dammit Clayton*
“I work for the government. I know how to protect you.” I said squeezing as much information into my voice as possible. “I’ve been supremely interested in getting you to work for us.”
“How. How did you find me?” He asked. “Actually wait, come in first.”
He stepped to the side of the door. To let me pass.
*Oh my gosh oh my gosh he’s inviting me into his house!*
Aloud I said, “Of course Mr. Murdock.” And stepped through the door to sit on a ragged looking couch in a messy room. Ugh. Talk about living up to expectations.
“Now, as I was saying, the government is very interested in getting to get you to work for them. Mr. Murdock.” I said eager to continue. What I had done was nothing short of remarkable.
“First tell me how you found me.” He growled annoyance showing through his voice.
*Dammit of course he wants to know that first. You are such an idiot Clayton.*
“Right.” I said trying not to let my distress show. “That part was actually relatively simple you see. Quite simply I used math.”
“You found me with math?”
“Of course. First I had to create a heat map of all the reported sightings of you. That was rather simple. Then I ran a probabilistic analysis of any common locations within range of those locations eliminated obvious points of origin and found two significant points of origin, Somewhere on this block, and the courthouse. After that it was a simple elimination process of who had commonly been both here and there as frequently as you, after that I cross referenced other indicators against our government database, on which you scored a high probability of mental instability, and therefore it had to be you.” I exclaimed.
“I see.” He responded, seemingly growing embarrassed. “So you said you could help me?”
*Dammit Clayton, you just insulted him.*
“Well first of all ‘secret’ identity nothwithstanding you have a good potential to work for the government and get some real work done.” I said pulling out some papers from my bag.
‘What can the government do for me that I can’t do for myself?” He asked rage almost creeping into his voice. “Justice is blind!”
“Well we can take out the kingpin. I have a remote access urbanized surveillance drone that I should probably not tell you about with its sights aimed directly at the kingpin’s head 24/7. Just sign the papers and he’s dead.”
“Is that… Legal?” He asked incredulously. Ever the lawyer.
“Is what legal?” I asked.
“Killing him without due process.”
“There’s been due process. He’s been on our hit list for a while.”
“So he’s been indicted?” He asked incredulously.
“No. he’s been added to our blacklist. Marked for execution as soon as you sign the paperwork.” I said.
“What would I have to do?” He asked resolve in his mind.
“Do you like flying?” I asked.
“No.” He said and picked up a pen.
|
|
[WP] The hero can't figure out how to stop the villain. The solution seems obvious to you, an innocent bystander.
|
“Your cape’s not plugged in.”
“What?”
“Your cape.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s not plugged in.”
It was just so simple. How could he not see it? This whole time, ElectroMight’s been getting weaker and losing the fight. Yet, not once has he looked to see if his cape was unplugged.
I mean the city made it mandatory for sockets to be installed every two blocks just for him. I get it, his extension cord is massive. 12 city blocks. But that shit can easily get tangled up or wrapped around something. You can’t just set it and forget it. I mean, I stuff headphones into my pocket and they come out looking like a ball of yarn. Hell, I check the socket if I so much as move the vacuum’s cord when I’m cleaning around the house.
With ElctroMight still not quite catching on, I felt the need to point out the limp laying cord next to the socket. I’d do it for him but the last guy that tried it was disintegrated from the electrical shock.
“/u/IStruggleWithThings ! You’re right!” ElectroMight shouted as he pointed out his fatal flaw in plain sight of his somehow-even-dumber-than-he-is arch enemy, Reflectoo. I watched as the half man, half kangaroo, all foil wrapped super villain tried to take advantage of his newly found information. He reached into his pouch to grab his sidekick Joey. Joey was Reflectoo’s 12 year old nephew who lacked any super powers and more or less just had small pieces of mirror duct taped to his face. He was just happy to be invited. Anyway, the plan was doomed from the start because Joey went on vacation with his mother three days ago and wasn’t available to “play” for another week.
This would be the epic turning point. ElectroMight could easily turn this around. ElectroMight took advantage of Reflectoo’s lapse of judgment and sprung into action. I watched as he landed on the ground, grabbed the cord, and slammed in into the wall.
“*Wait!*”
“What?”
“Wrong wall.”
But, it was too late. He bent the prongs.
|
I can’t believe it. My heart pounds in sync with the sounds of the knocks on the old wooden door in a non-descript apartment. After years of searching I’ve found him. My superiors will be pleased.
He opens the door.
*Oh my gosh it’s really him. This is really happening. No keep it cool. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of him. Keep it cool Clayton.*
“How can I help you.” the blind man asks. His New York manners showing through. Just as my algorithms had predicted he would.
“The real question, is how can I help you?” I said, careful to show him how sincere my offer was. “After all, I bet this is the first time a fan has come to find you.”
For a brief moment fear crossed the man without fear’s face. It was quickly replaced with anger.
*I should probably cut that short before he gets any other ideas. Dammit Clayton*
“I work for the government. I know how to protect you.” I said squeezing as much information into my voice as possible. “I’ve been supremely interested in getting you to work for us.”
“How. How did you find me?” He asked. “Actually wait, come in first.”
He stepped to the side of the door. To let me pass.
*Oh my gosh oh my gosh he’s inviting me into his house!*
Aloud I said, “Of course Mr. Murdock.” And stepped through the door to sit on a ragged looking couch in a messy room. Ugh. Talk about living up to expectations.
“Now, as I was saying, the government is very interested in getting to get you to work for them. Mr. Murdock.” I said eager to continue. What I had done was nothing short of remarkable.
“First tell me how you found me.” He growled annoyance showing through his voice.
*Dammit of course he wants to know that first. You are such an idiot Clayton.*
“Right.” I said trying not to let my distress show. “That part was actually relatively simple you see. Quite simply I used math.”
“You found me with math?”
“Of course. First I had to create a heat map of all the reported sightings of you. That was rather simple. Then I ran a probabilistic analysis of any common locations within range of those locations eliminated obvious points of origin and found two significant points of origin, Somewhere on this block, and the courthouse. After that it was a simple elimination process of who had commonly been both here and there as frequently as you, after that I cross referenced other indicators against our government database, on which you scored a high probability of mental instability, and therefore it had to be you.” I exclaimed.
“I see.” He responded, seemingly growing embarrassed. “So you said you could help me?”
*Dammit Clayton, you just insulted him.*
“Well first of all ‘secret’ identity nothwithstanding you have a good potential to work for the government and get some real work done.” I said pulling out some papers from my bag.
‘What can the government do for me that I can’t do for myself?” He asked rage almost creeping into his voice. “Justice is blind!”
“Well we can take out the kingpin. I have a remote access urbanized surveillance drone that I should probably not tell you about with its sights aimed directly at the kingpin’s head 24/7. Just sign the papers and he’s dead.”
“Is that… Legal?” He asked incredulously. Ever the lawyer.
“Is what legal?” I asked.
“Killing him without due process.”
“There’s been due process. He’s been on our hit list for a while.”
“So he’s been indicted?” He asked incredulously.
“No. he’s been added to our blacklist. Marked for execution as soon as you sign the paperwork.” I said.
“What would I have to do?” He asked resolve in his mind.
“Do you like flying?” I asked.
“No.” He said and picked up a pen.
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[WP] The hero can't figure out how to stop the villain. The solution seems obvious to you, an innocent bystander.
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“Your cape’s not plugged in.”
“What?”
“Your cape.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s not plugged in.”
It was just so simple. How could he not see it? This whole time, ElectroMight’s been getting weaker and losing the fight. Yet, not once has he looked to see if his cape was unplugged.
I mean the city made it mandatory for sockets to be installed every two blocks just for him. I get it, his extension cord is massive. 12 city blocks. But that shit can easily get tangled up or wrapped around something. You can’t just set it and forget it. I mean, I stuff headphones into my pocket and they come out looking like a ball of yarn. Hell, I check the socket if I so much as move the vacuum’s cord when I’m cleaning around the house.
With ElctroMight still not quite catching on, I felt the need to point out the limp laying cord next to the socket. I’d do it for him but the last guy that tried it was disintegrated from the electrical shock.
“/u/IStruggleWithThings ! You’re right!” ElectroMight shouted as he pointed out his fatal flaw in plain sight of his somehow-even-dumber-than-he-is arch enemy, Reflectoo. I watched as the half man, half kangaroo, all foil wrapped super villain tried to take advantage of his newly found information. He reached into his pouch to grab his sidekick Joey. Joey was Reflectoo’s 12 year old nephew who lacked any super powers and more or less just had small pieces of mirror duct taped to his face. He was just happy to be invited. Anyway, the plan was doomed from the start because Joey went on vacation with his mother three days ago and wasn’t available to “play” for another week.
This would be the epic turning point. ElectroMight could easily turn this around. ElectroMight took advantage of Reflectoo’s lapse of judgment and sprung into action. I watched as he landed on the ground, grabbed the cord, and slammed in into the wall.
“*Wait!*”
“What?”
“Wrong wall.”
But, it was too late. He bent the prongs.
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"Just shoot him!" I shouted watching from 20 yards back.
"What?" The masked man yelled at me in a raspy voice from behind cover.
The oddly dressed man stood on a beam at the construction sight 50 feet above and threw explosives at the car our 'hero' hid behind. Minute by minute he pushed down a comically large plunger and another skyscraper, hospital, school would explode in plain sight.
"Just shoot him... There are like 30 cops watching right there with guns strapped to their hips. Take one of their weapons and do it"
"Shoot him?" he said to me confused "like... with bullets?"
"Yea, he's got you pinned behind that wreckage with bombs and tear gas and you're just sitting there watching him blow the city up."
He just looked at me with a blank stare and a furrowed brow.
"He's killing people!" I shouted.
The police all stood by and watched us have this arguement, until one officer finally walked up to me. "Just let him do his thing, son"
"What? Wh.. Why? Why are none of you doing anything anyway? This guys doing millions of dollars in damage to your city in a purple suit and clown make-up and your letting this guy in a black leather skin suit take control and watch."
I looked at the caped avenger cower at the sound of the explosions until I finally looked at the officer and said "Watch..."
I unstrapped his holster, took his pistol, aimed and shot three rounds off, each making solid contact to the mans chest until his purple lapel saturated red. He fell backwards off of the beam to the concrete. It was not pretty.
Silence fell over the city for what seemed to be the first time in decades. The by-standers all looked at his body in amazement. The police seemed to finally clue in and began to rush in pulling out handcuffs and pepper-spray.
I looked at the batman, scoffed and said
"I guess I was the hero they nee- HOLY FUCK OW JESUS" just then all of the officers took me down in a fury of handcuffs, football tackles, and pepper spray.
Bail was set at $50,000. My court-date is next week.
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[WP]Despite thousands of sapient species in the universe, only humans can comprehend the idea of "war." This fact, and Earth being the only planet without severe overpopulation because of it, makes humans "exotic." You're an alien tour guide, trying to sell tours to Earth.
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It's almost too easy. Each world I go to, it always works exactly the same. In all the many year of humanities existence prior to the invention of the displacement drive which allowed interstellar travel, we had always imagined ourselves as the scrappy underdogs trying to survive in a universe full of predators. We imagined this because we come from a world filled with predators, all competing with each other. Kill or be killed. We never expected to finally get out into the universe and find that we were the apex predator at the top of every food chain in existence. Every other advanced civilization, once they made the transition from animals to tool-making civilizations, united together as a species and gave up their primal survival instincts or they wiped themselves out. They've all evolved so far they don't even remember the idea of hunting anymore. And since there are no hunters among the star-faring civilizations, there is no prey either. Not one of the others know anything of how to avoid being hunted any more than they know how to hunt. Except us. We have conquered every world, every territory, every rival with ease. Because we're wolves in a universe of sheep.
The rest just don't get it, and that's what makes it easy. They think they know us, but they don't. At some level, they understand that we're dangerous, my pitch wouldn't work if they didn't, but they don't really get it. They certainly don't know how to deal with it. I've visited more than two hundred alien cultures, and I have it down to an art form. Without fail, it always happens the same way. I show up, and introduce myself as a representative of humanity. They will know us by reputation, *everyone* knows us by reputation. We're the boogeymen of the universe after all, the monsters of their nightmares, described with fearful whispers while telling their darkest legends.
They may not remember how to be predators anymore, but they certainly recognize the vast power it brings us. And they want it. So along I come. I find whatever being or beings rule their society, their king, president, hive-queen, grand overmind, or whatever it is that they have. I cozy up to them, make myself their friend. Then I suggest that they could learn from us, how to conquer their rivals like we conquer ours. Warfare is a totally alien concept to them, they have no idea how it works, but they know it makes us powerful, and you don't have to be a predator to find power seductive.
So I sell them on visiting Earth, seeing how it's done, learning to be like us. I offer to teach them the secrets of power over life and death. It seems silly to us, but it's a temptation too great for them to resist. I used to wonder if maybe it was a sad commentary on humanity, that we take advantage of them like this, but on the other hand, all it would take to save them is to decline my offer. More than two hundred alien cultures, and not one of them has ever said no.
They always send their leaders, their best and brightest, because I warn them against letting an underling be the first to learn the secrets of ultimate power They send their leaders to Earth, and we send them 'advisers'. Of course, the advisers are really an occupation force and the leaders they send to Earth are really hostages to ensure cooperation, but they cannot suspect what they cannot imagine. Eventually they slowly start to understand, they learn about weapons, tactics, and strategy the hard way when we demonstrate it by conquering them.
But it never matters how much they learn. They never succeed in resisting us, and no matter how many times we repeat this process the rest of the universe doesn't wise up. Because humans, always at war with each other, had to develop something else in order to work together long enough to form civilizations. Something that the peaceful peoples of the universe never needed, the true power of humanity, something we use to rule the entirety of everything with an iron fist even as we teach the rest of the universe how to use weapons and strategy. We may teach them war, but we save for ourselves that blackest and most sinister of all arts: politics.
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*Beep Beep Beep*
The indicator pinged away as the ship made an attempt to flee this damned planet's atmosphere. All these years Gorkak came, he was never detected. Many didn't understand what was going on, the tourists in the back quizzically looked about as they asked me a dozen questions.
I was sweating from all my forlaks as I drove as hard as I could push this craft. Weaving in and out of canyons and mountains as human fighters pursued me. Years of war made these people perfect hunters,their thirst for technology to further brutality was unheard of back home.
A sensor indicated a incoming projectile, I quickly came upon a large urban center as my ship started to weave between the massive monoliths to currency. Many of those in the back began to take pictures, smiling and pointing about.
I lost the projectile, a towering monolith to what I could only assume dedicated to war exploded behind me. Smaller incoming weaponry began to ping away at my hull as the clangs bounced about my head.
Several more fighters joined their barbaric brethren behind me, this time several fired upon me at once. Aiming my craft toward the star, many people began to cheer. Several egging me on as I hunched over my controls, feeling like my stomachs were about to vomit.
I almost made it, before a missile of fire and heat knocked my engines out, sending me spiraling to the earth below.
Now I sit here, chained to this desk, waiting for what was to happen next...
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[WP] The zombie outbreak starts, but the first (and only) zombie is an overweight man that can't catch anyone.
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At first, Phillipe was slow and mellow.
Quite a boring and oddly shaped fellow.
Works with chemicals all day and accidentally did spray,
A goo that was awful smelling and yellow.
Maude awoke to a thump in the night.
Bounced out of her bed at the sight,
Of the slight rotting flesh and stinking of death.
Tilted man who had called her his wife.
Out of the love in her heart.
His teeth quick as a dart.
Patient zero and his patient one.
The world ahead, nothing to tear them apart.
Two became four and four became eight.
Slowly they took over, our defenses too late.
For the zombie named Phillipe and the zombie named Maude.
It takes two to tango, to turn, and accelerate.
EDIT: I am derp and autocorrect is my enemy, I also can't figure out how to space this stuff correctly!!. Thank you /u/FallsDownMountains
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*Some adult language and content.
“My God, he’s fat,” said Rebecca.
Molly sighed. “Well that's kind of the point isn't it? We can’t have a show called Living With the World’s Fattest Man if the dude is just slightly overweight.”
“I know but seriously, how can anyone let themselves get that big?”
“A bad childhood, a lifetime of overindulgence. Add that to the fact that he surrounded himself with enablers and this is what you get. You actually start to feel bad for the guy once you hear his story.”
“What was his name again?” asked Molly.
“I don’t know. Miguel or Marco. Something with an m.”
Both women worked as executive producers for The Knowledge Network. Both came from small towns in the rural Midwest, but had adapted to life in California with grace, physically if not entirely mentally. They both enjoyed skipping out on their quinoa and soy lattes for a steak and a beer from time to time.
“So how did this happen?” Molly asked.
“Lap band surgery gone horribly wrong. There was some sort of mix up with his blood transfusion. The surgery was a success but the nurse pumped him full of blood that was infected with rabies during recovery.”
The morbidly obese man lying on the gurney in front of them was strapped down tight. His skin was a mixture of pale green and yellow. Black veins pulsated across his exposed skin. His eyes had gone milky white and thick foam was bubbling out of his gnashing teeth.
“You know what he looks like,” said Molly.
“Yeah I know, don’t say it. I don’t want to hear the Z word anymore today.”
At that moment Robert Bruce, one of the wealthiest men in Australia and the head of The Knowledge Network, burst through the double doors of the infirmary. “My God, this is better than I could’ve ever imagined.”
Both women stared with distaste at the older man in the Armani suit. “Are you serious?” asked Rebecca. “This man is dead. Well, he’s kind of dead. Either way this is a tragedy.”
Robert finally took his eyes off the 800-pound groaning and growling man on the gurney and looked at his two executive producers. “Well, yes of course my thoughts and prayers go out to this poor man and his family. Everyone at The Knowledge Network wishes them the very best and blah, blah, blah. Now, let’s talk about how we can use this to our advantage.”
“Our advantage!” Rebecca’s faced flushed with anger. “How dare you try and turn this into something profitable you fucking pig!”
“Now hold on a minute, girlie. This bloke’s dead. His problems are over. You and I, however, have to figure out a way to salvage the two million dollars we’ve already dumped into this project. We’ve barely got enough footage for a fifteen minute spot!”
Rebecca hated this man. More to the point she hated what he represented, a career she couldn’t stand. She’d gotten into the entertainment industry to write quality entertainment. She wanted to produce shows that meant something to people. Shows that made people think about their own lives and inspired change. What she ended up with was a career producing garbage to sate the masses. Shows like Amish Bachelor and Trailer Park Royalty. She knew she shouldn’t complain. She made more money than she could ever spend in a lifetime, but she couldn’t help feeling like she’d sold her soul in the process.
“Here’s what I was thinking,” said Robert. “We have the doctors remove his teeth and nails, make him relatively safe to be around. Then we move him back into his home and send a film crew with him. We can turn this into a series! Just think of how many people will tune in every week to watch The Zombie Family. What’s Poppa Zombie getting into this week? Uh-oh he tried to eat the family dog! This is a bloody gold mine!”
Robert looked like a child on Christmas morning. His smile was so wide Rebecca thought he might split his lip open. “Robert, I’m not going to be a part of this. I’ve got to draw the line somewhere and honestly, I’m ashamed that it took something like this to make me realize that. I’m through.”
Robert’s mile-wide grin vanished and was replaced with an evil sneer. Rebecca flinched in fear as he jumped towards her. “The hell you are! You’re going to write up a pilot for this project whether you want to or not. Let’s not forget, Rebecca, you’re under contract. If you refuse to play ball we won’t just fire you, we’ll sue you for every penny you have, and we’ll win. You know we will.”
Rebecca stared down at the floor. She felt like she was six years old, being scolded by her father. “Now,” said Robert, “do we have a deal?”
Rebecca was disgusted with herself, but she had no other choice. Robert had her by the balls, so to speak. “Sure Robert, I’ll do it.”
Robert’s grin returned. “Good, have it on my desk by Monday. Now, on to other matters. Molly, would you follow me out to my car. I have some ideas for future projects I think you’d be perfect for.”
“Of course, Mr. Bruce.” Molly followed the President of the Network out into the hall. Rebecca knew she was just going to blow him in the back of his limousine. Molly was a terrible writer, but Robert kept her around for more “carnal” reasons.
Rebecca was left alone in the hospital room with the 800-pound zombie. She felt sorry for the poor guy. She didn’t want to be the one responsible for broadcasting his terrible life to millions of people. She was beyond disgusted, at herself, at her boss, at a world that craved such utter shit. She didn’t know how humanity had gotten so fucked up, but she suddenly had an idea that seemed like the only answer. Not only to her problems, but to everything.
“I don’t know that much about you big guy,” she said to the man on the gurney. “Fuck, I don’t even know your name, but I’m pretty sure you don’t deserve this. Whaddya say you and I take this world down a few pegs.” Rebecca couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw the obese zombie smile as she placed a finger inside his foaming mouth. The zombie – Rebecca had finally conceded that this was in fact what he was – bit down hard. Hard enough to break the skin and draw blood, which was exactly what she wanted. Now all she had to do was wait. She’d be infected soon and when the nurses came in to check on their patient she’s spread the disease to them. The human race needed some thinning, and Rebecca was proud to be a part of something meaningful for a change.
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