garcianacho/Scripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Damn it, this is ridiculous.
At least the thing's not that fast. We just follow it. Whenever it stops, we're there, waiting.
That's right... That's good.
Jim, are you all right?
No, I'm not all right. They got away. And we can't even follow them. They can get off the tracks anywhere they want.
Which is why we're heading to Houston, Texas. Home of the Loveless Steam Engine Works.
If you don't mind my asking, were you always the way you are?
What way is that?
So... spontaneous. All that leaping off buildings and Chinese fighting and whatnot.
"Spontaneous." I like that. Most people say something like "hare brained reckless sonofabitch."
Well... that, too.
Nothing much to it really. When I was younger I got into a pretty bad runin with the Wyler Boys. I saw them coming. But I didn't act fast enough. Secondguessed myself. And it cost me... cost me dearly.
So... what happened?
Those kids, they took my wagon. Never got it back.
Uh... how long ago was this?
I was six. And ever since, my policy is: Act first and worry later.
You might have mentioned you had that.
I thought all you needed were your fists and your gun.
Strange... you'd think he'd have this place better guarded.
I find most criminals slip up somewhere...
They're so precious when they're asleep.
You really enjoy yourself, don't you?
Can you fill me in here?
Sure. We have no idea what's going on.
Thank you.
Come on, let's at least see if we can find Dr. Pemberton.
You go ahead. I'll stick with Loveless.
Know what this is?
Sure. It's a windup... thing.
A cylinder recorder. My own design.
This is good.
Shhh! Come on. Tell us something!
Oh, damn! That's it.
It's better than nothing.
It is?
He's going to put on a pith helmet and kill some guy named Willard.
No record of him.
You'd think if Loveless is going to kill him he could at least be a prominent citizen.
What's this?
Sounds like a train. Looks like a train.
Yes. And a much nicer one than ours.
Willard...
It's not a guy...
It's a town!
Got to be somewhere that's hot. He said it was "damnably hot."
That rules out Willard, Vermont; Willard, Minnesota... Willard, New Mexico?
Damn, I wish this thing would go faster.
Relax. We're almost there.
We oughta get a couple of those rockets. Voom! We're there before we left!
What is that?
This? I'm testing a new spirit gum, to see how it holds.
And people are actually fooled by that?
My disguises have helped me solve many a difficult case. I spent three years on the stage, you know. Remind me sometime to regale you with my Lear.
Not again.
I adjusted it.
So the idea is if a guy punches me, he really hurts his hand?
You said it popped out too easily. Nothing's ever good enough for you, is it?
When we find him, he is mine.
Oh, no, we split him fiftyfifty.
What if these tracks are just leading us to an Indian village or some old coot's mining claim?
Not likely. There must be tracks of twenty different wagons. Freight wagons, carriages, buckboards...
Excellent detective work, sir. You should have the honor of going first.
Oh, thank you.
My pleasure.
Artemus, you ready for this? His next target is Albuquerque.
What? President Grant is...!
I know! I know!
I don't have to tell you what that would do to our careers!
We've got to stop him right here, now! With that armored steam engine of his it'll be a slaughter.
I'd love to stop him, but have you noticed the hundred armed men?
There's only seventyeight.
Oh, well, then let's kick some ass!
It was in your book.
Well, hell, maybe we do have a chance.
Are those just button buttons or...?
Of course not.
My hat is off to you, sir.
Thank you.
God in heaven, what is that?!
That's... that's the criminal mind about to stomp our sorry butts!
My God! He's so excessive!
Where have you been?
Pull the balloon right in front of him! We'll board the damn thing!
Oh, I see, an easy plan!
The machine was stopped! It seemed like a perfect time to disable it! Why'd you have to throw it into full throttle?!
He was going to shoot me! Do you mind?!
All right, all right... It'll be okay. I mean, eventually it'll just run out of steam.
In the next two minutes?
Artemus! Look at that. Brand spanking new. She's a beauty, huh? Let's get rolling.
What is this? A whole new train?
Well, sure. Didn't you get your orders?
Well, we'll stay in touch... you know.
I'm sure we will.
What? You're going to drive off without even saying hi?
Hi, Sandy.
Why don't you come in, have a drink?
Can't. Got a passenger.
I can't, Sandy. I've got to run.
I'll bet. Look, Sam. Why don't you come by this weekend. We'll take the boat out...
Sorry, Sandy. I've got plans.

Damn it, this is ridiculous.

At least the thing's not that fast. We just follow it. Whenever it stops, we're there, waiting.

That's right... That's good.

Jim, are you all right?

No, I'm not all right. They got away. And we can't even follow them. They can get off the tracks anywhere they want.

Which is why we're heading to Houston, Texas. Home of the Loveless Steam Engine Works.

If you don't mind my asking, were you always the way you are?

What way is that?

So... spontaneous. All that leaping off buildings and Chinese fighting and whatnot.

"Spontaneous." I like that. Most people say something like "hare brained reckless sonofabitch."

Well... that, too.

Nothing much to it really. When I was younger I got into a pretty bad runin with the Wyler Boys. I saw them coming. But I didn't act fast enough. Secondguessed myself. And it cost me... cost me dearly.

So... what happened?

Those kids, they took my wagon. Never got it back.

Uh... how long ago was this?

I was six. And ever since, my policy is: Act first and worry later.

You might have mentioned you had that.

I thought all you needed were your fists and your gun.

Strange... you'd think he'd have this place better guarded.

I find most criminals slip up somewhere...

They're so precious when they're asleep.

You really enjoy yourself, don't you?

Can you fill me in here?

Sure. We have no idea what's going on.

Thank you.

Come on, let's at least see if we can find Dr. Pemberton.

You go ahead. I'll stick with Loveless.

Know what this is?

Sure. It's a windup... thing.

A cylinder recorder. My own design.

This is good.

Shhh! Come on. Tell us something!

Oh, damn! That's it.

It's better than nothing.

It is?

He's going to put on a pith helmet and kill some guy named Willard.

No record of him.

You'd think if Loveless is going to kill him he could at least be a prominent citizen.

What's this?

Sounds like a train. Looks like a train.

Yes. And a much nicer one than ours.

Willard...

It's not a guy...

It's a town!

Got to be somewhere that's hot. He said it was "damnably hot."

That rules out Willard, Vermont; Willard, Minnesota... Willard, New Mexico?

Damn, I wish this thing would go faster.

Relax. We're almost there.

We oughta get a couple of those rockets. Voom! We're there before we left!

What is that?

This? I'm testing a new spirit gum, to see how it holds.

And people are actually fooled by that?

My disguises have helped me solve many a difficult case. I spent three years on the stage, you know. Remind me sometime to regale you with my Lear.

Not again.

I adjusted it.

So the idea is if a guy punches me, he really hurts his hand?

You said it popped out too easily. Nothing's ever good enough for you, is it?

When we find him, he is mine.

Oh, no, we split him fiftyfifty.

What if these tracks are just leading us to an Indian village or some old coot's mining claim?

Not likely. There must be tracks of twenty different wagons. Freight wagons, carriages, buckboards...

Excellent detective work, sir. You should have the honor of going first.

Oh, thank you.

My pleasure.

Artemus, you ready for this? His next target is Albuquerque.

What? President Grant is...!

I know! I know!

I don't have to tell you what that would do to our careers!

We've got to stop him right here, now! With that armored steam engine of his it'll be a slaughter.

I'd love to stop him, but have you noticed the hundred armed men?

There's only seventyeight.

Oh, well, then let's kick some ass!

It was in your book.

Well, hell, maybe we do have a chance.

Are those just button buttons or...?

Of course not.

My hat is off to you, sir.

Thank you.

God in heaven, what is that?!

That's... that's the criminal mind about to stomp our sorry butts!

My God! He's so excessive!

Where have you been?

Pull the balloon right in front of him! We'll board the damn thing!

Oh, I see, an easy plan!

The machine was stopped! It seemed like a perfect time to disable it! Why'd you have to throw it into full throttle?!

He was going to shoot me! Do you mind?!

All right, all right... It'll be okay. I mean, eventually it'll just run out of steam.

In the next two minutes?

Artemus! Look at that. Brand spanking new. She's a beauty, huh? Let's get rolling.

What is this? A whole new train?

Well, sure. Didn't you get your orders?

Well, we'll stay in touch... you know.

I'm sure we will.

What? You're going to drive off without even saying hi?

Hi, Sandy.

Why don't you come in, have a drink?

Can't. Got a passenger.

I can't, Sandy. I've got to run.

I'll bet. Look, Sam. Why don't you come by this weekend. We'll take the boat out...

Sorry, Sandy. I've got plans.