garcianacho/Scripts · Datasets at Hugging Face

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When you're three and a half feet tall, sir, life turns you into a comedian whether you like it or not.... Come with me, won't you?
I must compliment you on Miss Thompson... an exceptionally charming assistant.
Thank you. I confess to a preoccupation with acquiring precisely that which the world says I cannot have.
Very good, sir! I think my guest might be a sharpshooter by trade.
No, sir... just a businessman.
Really? Must be a dangerous business.
I deal with some tough customers.
Sir... I believe you have only two barrels.
How embarrassing. Did I hold up three fingers?
Why don't we just cut this routine short? Whatever you do to us, we're not going to talk.
Talk? About what...? Oh! About who you are and all that?
... And do give me some room, Voltaire. You're breathing on my head! I hate it when you breath on my head!
Dr. Loveless?
You're not that big.
Restrain yourself, Voltaire. He's just the sort of coward who would shoot an unarmed giant.
Still alive. Hmm. I suppose that doesn't bode well for poor Bruno.
He had a pressing engagement.
Philistine.
You got that right. Now get up. We're walking out of here.
Has it penetrated that adrenaline addled skull that you are surrounded by seventyeight of my loyal followers? You are in my domain!
Has it penetrated yours that I'm holding a gun on their leader?
The U.S. is my jurisdiction.
Exactly! You are on foreign soil. You are a representative of the occupying forces. Or haven't you checked a map lately?!
These lands were taken by force from Mexico in the illegal War of American Aggression.
That would be... the Mexican War?
Call it what you like. The point is, I was heir to that land, Mr. West. It belonged to my beloved grandmother! Now I intend to have it back. My own country!
I've even printed my own currency.
"Emperor Miguelito...?"
The first.
Well, your highness, what makes you think we'll ever sign a treaty with you?
Because I am holding all the western territories hostage, Mr. West! A town a day will disappear! Willard was merely a test run, a stroll in the park. Next, I level all of Albuquerque! Yes, that's right. Only yesterday I learned what you undoubtedly already know: your own President will be there. What an added bonus! The gods are shining on me! After tomorrow every American citizen will rise up and demand I be given back my humble little empire!
So, I'm the only one here who can tell the difference between an Emperor and a murderer?
Easy now.
Easy? Easy? On just what grounds should I take it easy!?
Mr. President, good to see you again, sir. Sorry about all that.
That'll be all, boys.
Good work. Really.
This is Colonel Richards.
Nice to finally meet you, sir.
But what would anyone have to gain from all this...? Unless it were a foreign power.
Exactly. Any number of nations would love to cripple our scientific growth. And what better way to tip the scales in their favor than by killing off the greatest minds this country has produced.
We find ourselves at the dawn of the Golden Age of Science. And it is the Godgiven destiny of this glorious nation to carry the torch that lights the way!
Nicely said, sir.
Part of some speech they wrote for this trip I'm taking.
Goddamnit! What am I doing? What's happened to all my cigars? Colonel Richards here has had a dozen agents on these cases for over a year. No arrests, no leads, no clues...
And?
And now the job's yours.
... well, of course you can. Mr. President, what a surprise. What brings you here?
On my way to Denver...
Where'd he say he was going to do this?
He didn't. That's your job. I'm taking you off that other case until you've nabbed this lunatic. Good luck. Nice train. But mine's nicer.
Don't try to bamboozle me, Colonel. Has another scientist been kidnapped or not?
Well, yes sir. A Professor Morton, but with just a little more time, sir, I can assure you a breakthrough on this case...
Listen, in two days I'm embarking on a tour of the western territories. And I want to know at least one problem is being handled competently in my absence.
Of course, sir, that's why I've assigned a new man. And he's no ordinary Marshal. He's quite sophisticated. Three college degrees. A master of disguise. Speaks French...
French?
Yes sir.
French? Damn it, I want my own man on this case. Somebody I trust. Somebody who doesn't mind breaking up the furniture!
Why surely, Mr. President, there must be some mistake. I mean...
A mistake? To assign this case to the man who blew up all the bridges on the Chattanooga River and single handedly trapped Jackson's entire cavalry? How is that a mistake?
Look, I'm Captain James West...
Well, Captain, then the answer is your train is still here.
Your private train, sir.
Private train?
That would be correct. Orders from the President himself. Trans portation at your beck and call. No delays. Although, the government's generosity takes me a tad by surprise, as well.
Doyle's the name, sir. Of the Connemara Doyles. And there's not a man riding the rails who holds a candle to meself. That having been said, sir, you're five minutes late so let's be on our way! Your friend's already aboard.
My friend?
Would you be thinking... ramming speed, sir?
I would, Mr. Doyle! Are you game?
My name's Tyler. Frank Tyler. Pleased to meet you, ma'am.
I get that feeling. You know, Mr. Tyler, I'm the kind of woman who doesn't believe men are much more than a complete waste of time. But after spying you across the room, I'm tempted to suspend my disbelief, at least for the evening.
You know, ma'am, you remind me of a pearlhandled pistol I once owned. A beautiful thing to look at, but too hot to handle.
I don't recollect ever being compared to a pistol before.
Please do. I'm a man who appreciates a good firearm.
Really?
Well, where I come from it kind of goes with the territory. Texas.
My... the wild west.
Well, sir, you are proving to be one of my more interesting guests.
Your guests, ma'am?
Yes, in a way. I'm the Doctor's social secretary. I handle his correspondence, send out the invitations, you know.
Oh, don't worry. I've already overlooked the fact your name's not actually on our guest list.
Well, I owe you one, don't I?
You most certainly do.
You must excuse the Doctor. No one has ever beaten him at his little game.
I don't like to lose, either.
Have you taken a wrong turn, Mr. Tyler?
You tell me.
I'm not so sure Dr. Loveless would like to find his social secretary dancing in the dark with an uninvited stranger.
Forgive me, but you don't strike me as the social secretary type.
Thank you. But the truth is, I'm a single woman in a man's world. That leaves me very few choices, doesn't it?
I suppose so. But life can be hard for a man, too.
Just a little insurance... against the unexpected.
Would that include me?
Oh, I would hope not.
You've... done... this... before.
I've had some practice.
She's perfectly safe.
Really? Like General Garrison or didn't you hear all that shooting?
My. It's gotten longer.
You bring the best out in a man.

When you're three and a half feet tall, sir, life turns you into a comedian whether you like it or not.... Come with me, won't you?

I must compliment you on Miss Thompson... an exceptionally charming assistant.

Thank you. I confess to a preoccupation with acquiring precisely that which the world says I cannot have.

Very good, sir! I think my guest might be a sharpshooter by trade.

No, sir... just a businessman.

Really? Must be a dangerous business.

I deal with some tough customers.

Sir... I believe you have only two barrels.

How embarrassing. Did I hold up three fingers?

Why don't we just cut this routine short? Whatever you do to us, we're not going to talk.

Talk? About what...? Oh! About who you are and all that?

... And do give me some room, Voltaire. You're breathing on my head! I hate it when you breath on my head!

Dr. Loveless?

You're not that big.

Restrain yourself, Voltaire. He's just the sort of coward who would shoot an unarmed giant.

Still alive. Hmm. I suppose that doesn't bode well for poor Bruno.

He had a pressing engagement.

Philistine.

You got that right. Now get up. We're walking out of here.

Has it penetrated that adrenaline addled skull that you are surrounded by seventyeight of my loyal followers? You are in my domain!

Has it penetrated yours that I'm holding a gun on their leader?

The U.S. is my jurisdiction.

Exactly! You are on foreign soil. You are a representative of the occupying forces. Or haven't you checked a map lately?!

These lands were taken by force from Mexico in the illegal War of American Aggression.

That would be... the Mexican War?

Call it what you like. The point is, I was heir to that land, Mr. West. It belonged to my beloved grandmother! Now I intend to have it back. My own country!

I've even printed my own currency.

"Emperor Miguelito...?"

The first.

Well, your highness, what makes you think we'll ever sign a treaty with you?

Because I am holding all the western territories hostage, Mr. West! A town a day will disappear! Willard was merely a test run, a stroll in the park. Next, I level all of Albuquerque! Yes, that's right. Only yesterday I learned what you undoubtedly already know: your own President will be there. What an added bonus! The gods are shining on me! After tomorrow every American citizen will rise up and demand I be given back my humble little empire!

So, I'm the only one here who can tell the difference between an Emperor and a murderer?

Easy now.

Easy? Easy? On just what grounds should I take it easy!?

Mr. President, good to see you again, sir. Sorry about all that.

That'll be all, boys.

Good work. Really.

This is Colonel Richards.

Nice to finally meet you, sir.

But what would anyone have to gain from all this...? Unless it were a foreign power.

Exactly. Any number of nations would love to cripple our scientific growth. And what better way to tip the scales in their favor than by killing off the greatest minds this country has produced.

We find ourselves at the dawn of the Golden Age of Science. And it is the Godgiven destiny of this glorious nation to carry the torch that lights the way!

Nicely said, sir.

Part of some speech they wrote for this trip I'm taking.

Goddamnit! What am I doing? What's happened to all my cigars? Colonel Richards here has had a dozen agents on these cases for over a year. No arrests, no leads, no clues...

And?

And now the job's yours.

... well, of course you can. Mr. President, what a surprise. What brings you here?

On my way to Denver...

Where'd he say he was going to do this?

He didn't. That's your job. I'm taking you off that other case until you've nabbed this lunatic. Good luck. Nice train. But mine's nicer.

Don't try to bamboozle me, Colonel. Has another scientist been kidnapped or not?

Well, yes sir. A Professor Morton, but with just a little more time, sir, I can assure you a breakthrough on this case...

Listen, in two days I'm embarking on a tour of the western territories. And I want to know at least one problem is being handled competently in my absence.

Of course, sir, that's why I've assigned a new man. And he's no ordinary Marshal. He's quite sophisticated. Three college degrees. A master of disguise. Speaks French...

French?

Yes sir.

French? Damn it, I want my own man on this case. Somebody I trust. Somebody who doesn't mind breaking up the furniture!

Why surely, Mr. President, there must be some mistake. I mean...

A mistake? To assign this case to the man who blew up all the bridges on the Chattanooga River and single handedly trapped Jackson's entire cavalry? How is that a mistake?

Look, I'm Captain James West...

Well, Captain, then the answer is your train is still here.

Your private train, sir.

Private train?

That would be correct. Orders from the President himself. Trans portation at your beck and call. No delays. Although, the government's generosity takes me a tad by surprise, as well.

Doyle's the name, sir. Of the Connemara Doyles. And there's not a man riding the rails who holds a candle to meself. That having been said, sir, you're five minutes late so let's be on our way! Your friend's already aboard.

My friend?

Would you be thinking... ramming speed, sir?

I would, Mr. Doyle! Are you game?

My name's Tyler. Frank Tyler. Pleased to meet you, ma'am.

I get that feeling. You know, Mr. Tyler, I'm the kind of woman who doesn't believe men are much more than a complete waste of time. But after spying you across the room, I'm tempted to suspend my disbelief, at least for the evening.

You know, ma'am, you remind me of a pearlhandled pistol I once owned. A beautiful thing to look at, but too hot to handle.

I don't recollect ever being compared to a pistol before.

Please do. I'm a man who appreciates a good firearm.

Really?

Well, where I come from it kind of goes with the territory. Texas.

My... the wild west.

Well, sir, you are proving to be one of my more interesting guests.

Your guests, ma'am?

Yes, in a way. I'm the Doctor's social secretary. I handle his correspondence, send out the invitations, you know.

Oh, don't worry. I've already overlooked the fact your name's not actually on our guest list.

Well, I owe you one, don't I?

You most certainly do.

You must excuse the Doctor. No one has ever beaten him at his little game.

I don't like to lose, either.

Have you taken a wrong turn, Mr. Tyler?

You tell me.

I'm not so sure Dr. Loveless would like to find his social secretary dancing in the dark with an uninvited stranger.

Forgive me, but you don't strike me as the social secretary type.

Thank you. But the truth is, I'm a single woman in a man's world. That leaves me very few choices, doesn't it?

I suppose so. But life can be hard for a man, too.

Just a little insurance... against the unexpected.

Would that include me?

Oh, I would hope not.

You've... done... this... before.

I've had some practice.

She's perfectly safe.

Really? Like General Garrison or didn't you hear all that shooting?

My. It's gotten longer.

You bring the best out in a man.