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SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: "Faking it"?
POST: Hi,
I feel like I'm not going to meet a cute, nerdy girl anytime soon, but that doesn't mean I want to be single for another 4 years .
Whenever I read Advice online it's about changing yourself, not about making girls like the person who you really are, especially if you're not normal.
Thing is: I like myself. I have a pretty low self-esteem and I'm kind of lonely because I have been single for so long, but in general I'm mostly the person I would want to be. I stand up for my opinions and I'm generally speaking a good, intelligent person.
But I'm a nerd and not to a small degree: My biggest passion are video games and my favourite comedians are youtube artists.
So if I don't want to be alone all my life should I just be faking to be someone I'm not? For example: I love long hair on women and men. My hair is almost as long as my arms are. I've never met a girl who likes long hair outside of the Gothic/Metal scene many seem to hate it even. I mean I could just try to copy the style of some good looking guy in a hollywood romance movie. I am sure my chances would raise.
But this wouldnt be me ... although it's easier to convince a girl of my true self if she already likes me ... I suppose?
Then again, maybe this is just young adult Angst speaking and I'm just misinterpreting/overthinking things (I'm 20 y.o. btw, university student).
TL;DR: | Nerd with long hair, I like who I am, girls don't - should I change and become someone else even if that means faking it and hiding my true self? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My wife (25F) wants to move to a small college town close to her mom. I (28M) would rather move to a larger metropolitan area
POST: My wife is about to be medically discharged from the Army. She wants to be close to her mom, who is terminally ill and possibly only has a few years to live. She wants to live in a small college town about 30 minutes away from her. I told her that I would rather live in a larger metropolitan area about 2 hours from where her mom lives, which she had originally said was okay, but now she has no desire to move there.
I told her that I wanted to move to the larger city because it would provide more opportunities for us to find work, especially because I wanted to work with underprivileged youth. I also said that it would provide more health care for our baby that's coming along the way, but she keeps telling me that I'm being "selfish" because it's not what she wants.
I asked her if maybe we can do a compromise, and we can move to the smaller city so that she can be with her mom for a short time, then find a permanent home after that. She claimed that I was bent on keeping her from her family, even though I don't feel that's the case at all.
What can we do to work this out?
TL;DR: | Wife wants to move to a small college town to be closer to her mom, I don't feel like it would be a good move for me at all. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 M] with my gf [23 F] 3 years, and our problem is... unique
POST: Hi all! First off I'd like to state that, besides this, my gf and I have been living together very happily and we are both very serious about our relationship. We only argue about silly small things, and usually she is right anyways lol.
However we decided that we needed a third person perspective on this one issue that we do have. I like to sing, well, its more like what I call 'musical tourettes'. Sometimes when I'm not thinking, passing the time, or just walking places I like to say out, sing, or 'scat' pieces of music or songs in my head. My gf cannot stand this, and this was made evidently clear at the beginning of our relationship.
This is not something I can always consciously control and often I find myself humming or making noises without really realizing it. I would say that since we started dating I've been much more aware of this and have consciously stopped doing this, but there are times where I'll find my self singing away and my gf has to yell at me to stop.
Now I will say that when I do sing, or make noise, it comforts me, and when my gf tells me to stop there is a part of me that gets upset. She grew up with a noisy, annoying younger brother so that's where we believe it originated. When she describes it as a pet peeve, and 'something in her triggers' when I start to 'make noise'.
So that's basically the gist of it, we both are having trouble understanding each others point of view on this, and help us get over this strange issue we are having. Thank you!
TL;DR: | I(bf) sing and make noise by habit, the gf is annoyed by it, calls it a pet peeve, and has to stop me almost every time I start. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[18] her [18] never been in a serous relationship need some advice please.. from the UK
POST: I have had a crush on this girl for a while now, I think we bond really well and we are always act fun with each other and have a laugh, she is a pretty cool person. i am most certain that she is aware that I see her as more than a friend and people will always tease me in-front of her and we always both just laugh it of.
we have a lot in common witch is great we both love comics and video games, we also have a lot of differences witch is also great as we can learn from each other. we will always have friendly and jokingly debates on what moves are better shes more defiance and I'm game of thrones.
what i admire about her is that she is in a similar position to me, she has never been in a serous relationship and we both are still virgins, so i fell we could start together learn from each other (im sort of put of from girls that have more exp than me).
A lot of my friend tell me i should just go for it and ask her out, however she seems defensive of the idea of a relationship (I've read her blog that she knows i follow NOT STALKING). and i have sort of asked her out to the movies but every time she said she was busy and when i would bring it up again she would say that she forgot (witch is pretty heartbreaking)
we just have just finished the last year of college and I fear that I may never see her again so Reddit do you have any advice for me, should I text/call her to ask to a date, just tell her i like her... no idea any help would be much appreciated
female advice would be much appreciated as I have no idea what frequency you majestic people operate on.
thanks you wonderful, brilliant people
TL;DR: | never been in a relationship, I and the girl I like just finished the last year of college.. what should I do need advice! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Are these signs that she [16 F] likes me [16 M]?
POST: Hey guys, firstly, I hope sixteen isn't too young an age to post my question here, if it is, please redirect me to the correct sub-reddit, thanks.
Right, I've known this girl for about 1.5 years, and we're pretty close. I guess some would say I'm in the friendzone, but this has all started changing recently. These are the notable changes:
• she keeps mentioning that she's single/has no boyfriend
• she will intentionally take the time to talk to me much more than she previously would
• she touches me a lot more, and play fights with me
• she have me her number (we would previously communicate via Facebook or snapchat whilst not together)
• she starts a lot more conversations with me than she would, I used to have to start them normally
• when our friends suggest we should date, she doesn't flat out deny it, she kinda just changes the subject
• according to my friends, she talks about me to them when I'm not there (we're in the same circle of friends)
Thanks for any answers guys
TL;DR: | My female friend acts a lot more flirty than she previously would do. She play fights with me, gave me her number and keeps mentioning that se has no boyfriend. Does she like me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I have a crush on my SO's best friend, any advice?
POST: I'm currently 20, male, and I've been in a relationship with my SO ( 18 female ) for almost two years and the only thing I can say is that I sometimes feel the need for change.
We've been in this relationship for quite a while and to be honest I've kind of got bored of the same old story and drama she causes, I'm always there looking for her and taking care of her and I really can say that even thought I have a crush for her best friend I still like her, but the way she's becoming is terrifying me.
You can skip this part if you're not interested in any more background story: She is going to study aboard ( that's at least what she plans and she wants a long-distance relationship of which I really am not fond of.
SO's best friend is a girl that really liked long before me and my SO started dating and she's always been really nice with me even thought she had no more interest in me as I was dating her.
She's becoming really careless about the way she looks, the way she talks and recently she started gaining a lot of weight while doing nothing but complaining about herself, rolling herself in her own filth.
I really like her personality when she's happy with herself ( rarely happens nowadays ). But when she goes into her depressions in which he does nothing to improve herself she transforms into a full-time rage machine, being really mean with everybody, patronizing everybody and in a peculiar way, extremely unattractive for me.
While the idea of a sparkling new relationship attracts me, the memories of the great times I've had with my SO are still there and I'm still hoping for more of those events to happen, here's where the crash in my logic happens and would like that everybody that took the time to read my post to give me an advice on how I should proceed and how should I discuss this with my SO without hurting her.
Thank you!
TL;DR: | I feel things got old, and need some change, but the memories from the good times we've had are still there and keeping me here. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [22F] want to move out however my Mum [50F] doesn't want me to.
POST: I'm a student at Uni, and my mum and I share an apartment.
My mum is generally nice and I know she genuinely has me in her best interest, that being said our personalities clash a lot and she can be a bit mean sometimes.
We've lived very closely together for the majority of my life due to me not having a father. We get in a lot of arguments. I think our relationship would do really well if I saw her regularly - but not a lot.
Despite this, I feel quite selfish because even though she has friends, she will be living alone and that might make her sad.
I really like my own privacy and I am a very private person, I love alone time and I don't like living with her because I crave independence and I think living on my own would make me a lot more responsible.
I've (casually) floated the idea a few times to my Mum, and she's basically said something along the lines of "Don't be stupid, you could live with me for free" however I could pay a relatively small amount of money and buy a crappy apartment or pay even less and get a room mate. I have yet to properly propose it to her.
I live in a moderately expensive area in Australia and I have a source of income, however by no means am I well off.
Am I being spoiled by wanting to move out? If not, how should I go about telling my Mum I need to move out.
My ultimate worry is that she will hate me for it and cut me off financially (i.e. not have her as a safety net in case something goes terribly wrong.) I think this is plausible however if that did happen my older brother could talk sense into her.
TL;DR: | wanna move out and buy cheap apartment. mum says im stupid when i could live with her rent free. want independence and privacy |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] with my friend [32 M] is constantly making small talk online and I don't know how to stop him without being rude
POST: Hi Reddit,
This may sound like a minor annoyance but it's actually driving me nuts and I don't know what to say. I've known "John" for about 10 years now. John and I hang out in the same social circle. He's married and I'm single.
Now, I'm a regular PC gamer and I regularly spend my evening on my computer playing games or watching Netflix. For the past few months John has been messaging me constantly with small talk via different gaming clients. What did you think of some sport team, some movie, some story in the news. If I don't respond immediately he'll message me with another topic in an hour or so.
I think think it's a combination of boredom and that he's going through a rough patch with his wife. But it doesn't change the fact that I feel like he's interrupting my enjoyment of my games. There have been times when I didn't respond in one game client and he just switched to another one to message me.
I'm not antisocial and I don't mind the odd conversation but not every day multiple times a day. I feel bad if I don't respond after a while. It's gotten to the point where I want to punch the screen when I see his name. I'm ok being single and I don't want to hang out and chat with people every day. Or sometimes I'm talking to someone and don't want to be distracted.
If I block him, he would know and I think it would create awkwardness in our social circle. His wife is friends with the wives of the other guys in our group, so it's not easy to figure out who would be left out if things got heated.
If I go in stealth mode "appear offline" my other friends won't be able to see me.
So, help Reddit, how do I tell him to stop constantly messaging me without being rude? I feel like a jerk complaining about friendliness.
TL;DR: | Have a friend who constantly messages me with small talk when I'm online. Don't know how to tell him to stop. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: How do I stop having girlfriends?
POST: So I'm a male in his late 20's who has since he was about 8 always thought about girls (and later women). I love them, every single one of them. I want to be around them, I love to see them laugh, and I love it when they smile at me.
I've always pursued females, mostly in clumsy ways. I've never gotten the hang of 'game' and never been comfortable with deceiving someone else when emotions are at stake.
It wasn't until I was 18 that I could maintain a relationship with anyone for very long. But since I've been 18, I don't think that I've been single for three months consecutively. My relationships often last about 6-12 months and I often return to ex's. I feel that I love them although I do admit that some of it may be self deception.
When I'm single though, I just start to feel intensely anxious and full of doubt. When I'm in a relationship, I tend to have a clear head and confidence.
I think I'm good at relationships. I'm empathetic and passionate. I'm clever and fun.
But I just don't want to feel like I'm going insane when I'm single. I don't want to keep returning to ex girlfriends and making the same mistakes. I don't want to enter into relationships out of desperation, despite how wonderful the women I meet are.
TL;DR: | I tend to seek out relationship after relationship and become really uncomfortable when I'm not dating anyone. I'd like to be comfortable being single. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (17M) girlfriend (17F) of 5 months tells me that she would break up with me to hook up with Channing Tatum....
POST: Basically, I've always known she had a crush on Channing Tatum, but I never thought much of it. She has sent me a picture of him on a magazine cover before, and her best friends tell me how much she loves him. She's even seen all of his movies.
So, one day we are watching Netflix, and I ask her if she's seen White House Down. She says, "Is that the one with Channing Tatum?" I say, "No, that's the other movie. Same concept.....Would you break up with me to hook up with Channing Tatum?". Maybe this was a stupid question to ask. Maybe I didn't want to know the answer (I didn't). She told me that yes, she would break up with me to hook up with him.
I got kinda upset, didn't really talk to her much that day, she noticed and realized that I was pretty upset about what she said. Then, I asked her if she really meant it, and she said "Well....yeah."
I'm not crying or anything, but I'm kind of shocked that she would say something like that, I don't really get what she stands to gain. She could either tell the truth and hurt me or lie and make me happy.
How exactly am I supposed to react to this? Am I being overly sensitive? Is this normal?
TL;DR: | My girlfriend said that she would break up with me to hook up with Channing Tatum, and I know for a fact that she was serious. How should I feel? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I pursue my childhood dream of moving to Japan?
POST: Ever since I could remember, I've been fascinated by Japan and its people and have dreamed of moving there since i was very young . I know what you're thinking, "Another anime fanboy." And while, yes, I do enjoy some animes, that has never been my reason for wanting to go. I simply love the beauty of Japan's country side, The technological awe of their major cities, their lack of crime, their care for the Earth, and the sense of respect for people as human beings that the Japanese feel much more strongly about than your average American (I'm an American, btw).
So anyway, I'm 20 years old and still don't know what I want out of life. I know that I've never wanted to settle for just any job in some small town in the Northwest. I've always wanted a career that made me happy. So recently, (these past few late nights, spent on my laptop) I've been looking into teaching English in Japan through a program like JET. I don't speak Japanese but plan on learning it whether I go or not.
What I'm wondering is: Is this just another pipe dream? Will life in Japan be more miserable than in America? Is teaching in a foreign country a little harder or MUCH MUCH harder than in my own country? Are English teachers in Japan typically happy?
So if you read this and have any input on where I should start, if this is too far fetched or flat out too expensive, I'd like to hear what you have to say.
*sigh*...
TL;DR: | ? I live in America, love Japan, and am thinking of becoming and English teacher to teach there. Good idea? Bad idea? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21 F] may retake a year of university, however, I have had to do this before and don't know how to explain this to my parents again.
POST: I am in my second year at university and exams are over the next three weeks however I do not feel at all prepared and think I am going to do quite badly. This is for a number of reasons, my own under preparation and several mental health issues. I am going to speak with my university tomorrow to discuss this in more detail.
However, in the past I dropped out of school and had to redo a year. My parents sent me to an expensive private school to finish and I did fairly well. I then went to university (a different one from the one I am at now) and did a course I ended up hating so dropped out after 1 semester. This was quite an emotional time and I spent the rest of the year working and reapplied to another university. I haven't found my time here easy but I do like the course.
I don't know how to tell my parents I want to retake another year. I think they'll either be really disappointed or really angry at me. Any advice?
TL;DR: | Already dropped out of school/uni twice, want to retake a year on a course I like but don't know how to tell my parents. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Kick to the face
POST: Wall of text ahead.
I drive the amphibious tanks (AMTRACKS) in the Marines. Part of that is also sitting in the back with the grunts while we are in the water to make sure we don't sink and to make sure they don't do anything stupid like try to open the hatches when they see a littke bit of water. While in Okinawa my platoon got put on a ship with a company of grunts to go flex our muscles at China by going around east asia and the pacific and doing landings and fake assaults on their beaches to show we know what we were doing.
One of the beaches we hit was a public beach with a bunch of homeless kids running around it asking us for food or cool things or whatever. Most of the time we just shooed them away or gave them the crappy parts of an MRE. Those kids would always get close as fuck to our tracks and im pretty sure we hit at least one while we were driving around but I didn't see it and the driver was backing up so he couldn't see either. All I know was there were a bunch of kids behind the ramp while it was raising and I was screaming at them to move while they stood there and asked for shit.
While we were parking the tracks on the last day there I was sitting by myself in the back while my friend was driving. We stopped and I got told to pop the back hatch and start checking out our vehicle. When I opened the back hatch and stuck my boot out this kid decided it was a good idea to pop up and ask for fucking candy or something. My boot connected with his face and i will never forget what it feels like to have bones crunch under my boot. It was like a cartoon. The kid dropped like a rock then instantly got up and started running to the tree line. I fucked that kid for life because thst place has no healthcare system for stupid homeless kids that im aware of.
Thats not what bothers me or what I need to get off my chest. What bothers me is that it doesn't bother me.
TL;DR: | kicked a kid in the face while in a foreign land doesn't bother me. Me being an emotionless robot does bother me |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I decide which job offer to accept?
POST: Hi /r/askreddit. Sorry if the title is a bit misleading, I don't actually have a job offer *yet*, but I'm preparing for what may come in the next couple weeks.
Over the last 18 months since graduating, I've had a hell of a time trying to find work in advertising. I have been interviewing with a small business for a position that isn't what I studied, but I am more than capable of. Right now it looks like I might be receiving a job offer from them in the next few days, which is great, because I need a job. Any job (and it doesn't hurt that I enjoy the industry I'd be working in.) We'll call this Job A.
In the meantime I have a lead with an ad agency who has produced notable work, and it would be beneficial to my resumé and portfolio in the long term, should I continue in the creative advertising field. There is no offer here yet, and I haven't even gotten an interview at this point, but there is still potential thanks to a direct connection with a top executive at the firm. However, with entry level positions at agencies, it's standard practice to offer freelance work, and not a "sure thing" position. Job B, here.
How do I decide which to pursue? Is there a tactful way to keep in touch with Job B, while accepting a job at Job A? Let's say I start Job A soon, I'll be working full time. How do I interview at Job B in the meantime? My fear is that I'll be working for two weeks, then suddenly interest from Job B will escalate - I really don't want to be an ass and quit or ask for time off immediately after starting a new job. Anyone who has experience with this situation, please weigh in! Thanks!
TL;DR: | Should I take a "sure thing" job, or risk it with another company that may or may not have solid work for me, but might be a better place to work for? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [26F] just got off the phone with my sister [39F] she does not want her son [15M] anymore because she has a new love interest and wants to start a family with him
POST: Yeah so I am about to kick pick my nephew up in half an hour. His mother does not want him anymore. Her exact words were " He is from a failed relationship, I will sign him over to you or what ever I need to do. But I want a fresh start with _________ and start a new family"
She met this guy and he is moving in tomorrow. My Nephew Seth just finished his freshmen year on friday is on summer vacation. As I said I am going to go pick him up in half an hour because she told me too.
Seth is a well behaved kid, it's not like he acts out or is disrespectful. Not once have a I heard my sister complain about that and he actually gets really good grades.
I just don't know what to do, I am more than prepared to take Seth in. I have a good job and I recently single so I can devote time to him. It's just this whole situation is a cluster and I don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | my sister is kicking out her son because she does not want him anymore. She wants to start a new family with her new man |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Putting limits on when serious conversations happen?
POST: Hey. So I have a question. My husband(35) and I(32) have been together for nine years now. Like most couples we have our problems. Thing is, he seems to pick the worst times to bring stuff up. For instance, the day my grandfather died he told me how he hadn't been happy in ages, and then didn't seem to understand why I was getting so upset. I just found out really hard to process my grief and have that sort of discussion.
So my big issue I have is that he often brings things up first thing in the morning before we have to go to work. I am really not a morning person. I have anxiety and depression and find they tend to be the worst first thing when I wake up. I also often have nightmares, which doesn't help. So I don't feel able to have a serious discussion when I first wake up. Plus I have job where I work directly with people so I like/need to be pretty calm and collected.
What I really want to ask is if you guys think it's fair/alright/acceptable to tell him that I won't have any more serious discussions first thing weekday mornings. I'm not sure if it's a selfish request, but I feel like we get no where anyway and always have to come back to it in the evening, which means I'm anxious all day and have a really hard time working/functioning like a normal human. Not to mention there's been a couple times where i haven't been able to go to work because I haven't been able to get myself together in time. However, I just don't know if it's fair to him as it's sort of my problem.
Any input would be great.
TL;DR: | I want to ask my husband to wait until evening to have serious discussions because I don't feel able to deal first thing in the morning but I'm not sure if that's fair. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [17M] with my "gf"[18F] 1 month, she said my dick was "way to small for her" last night. we are both virgins.
POST: so I met this girl about a month ago when i started classes. immediately we became good friends, we hung out and watched movies and all that fun stuff. i asked her out and it eventually led up to us dating.
great! it was awesome, a week or two ago we were talking and we found out we were both virgins. we talked and talked and talked and eventually decided we would "lose" them to each other.
well last night she texted me and told me she wanted to do it RIGHT NOW so i drove over. we started making out and things were progressing until we were naked.. she looked down and had this stupid fucking smirk and said this: "sorry but thats way to small for me.." that felt like getting shot in the head. I told her to fuck off and left. she texted me this morning asking me if i wanted to just date but not have a sexual relationship.. i haven't replied yet.
i've measured myself before, numerous times. I don't think i'm particularly small, probably below average honestly. when its standing to attention its 4 3/4in. i haven't really cared about my size because that doesn't really matter right? apparently it does to her.
any advice you guys can give me would be great.. i wont be talking to her anymore but my self esteem is shot.
TL;DR: | new girlfriend wants to lose virginities together, things get hot and heavy, i take off pants and she tells me i'm too small for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (24M) need some advice on how to heal a broken relationship with my (21f). We both want it to work, and it's mostly my fault.
POST: So I posted about this a little while ago, but my girlfriend got fed up with me and should be trying a separation here soon. We've lived with eachother at UNI for three years but recently I had some personal issues and wasn't able to love her in the way she deserves. She wants a future husband out of me and I was being resentful and dragging my feet.
Now she's moving out. I've loved her for years and can't believe I've let it slip this far. We both think separating could be very helpful, but I have to make this work and I need some thoughts. Up until about a week ago, this girl was set to be my wife and now, because of petty bullshit and my own immaturity, it could all be gone. I need ideas to fix this.
TL;DR: | I'm a heartbroken mess after my gf decided I wasn't doing enough in the relationship. It was personal issues, not my love for her and I need ideas. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26M] with my girlfriend [24F] in a relationship of 3 months, brokeup due to distance issues.
POST: Its been few months since the breakup, but there are many questions that are not yet answered.
She said that she is breaking up with me due because she can't handle the pain of me being far from her. This is how she explains it "This is so hard for me, because I truly love you so much and have such a strong connection to you, but I am physically breaking down in pain from how much I miss you, and I know it's not healthy for myself. I used to struggle with depression and anxiety, and I have been relapsing into those things again this summer because I love you, and you are so far away from me. ". We didn't really talk since.
At one place she had written " I also understand if you want to delete me on facebook as well. " Which my friend implies that she wants me to remove her from fob, so that I don't know about her new relationship. And according to her, she cheated on me and it's only me who loved her so much. She use to talk to me about how she is feeling like 'doing' things with me and feeling so intense and I'm not there to take care of it. I asked her to help yourself and she said it's not that easy. One day she was late in the night (we use to talk daily) and she said sorry so many times because she was with a boy friend helping him out through his breakup and drank beer. The way she said sorry was a bit unusual while I took it pretty casually. Later this made me think of a situation where she might have had something more than just a talk.
I know this sounds silly, but I really want to know what really made her to breakup, was she really cheating on me. Did she want to move on? And does she wants me to remove her from fb? (She is still friend with me, but we don't talk).
Seeking some experience sharing from guys and girls who went through similar situations?
TL;DR: | Short but very emotional and loving relationship, long distance for 3 months, she broke up for no justified reason. Just wondering what might be the actual reason? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22 F] with my ex [21 M] of one year, still love each other, but he has moved in with old cuddle buddy without telling me until she had physically moved in.
POST: Be sure to explain in detail with line breaks.
My ex m17 and I F18 haven't been together for a while. We were in a long distance relationship for a year but gave up due to many reasons. Nothing really changed when we went from being in the relationship to us not being together. We still talked every day, called most nights and recently we've skyped each other. It's been at least nine months from us not being together, but we still love each other a lot.
A month or two ago he had started a strange relationship with a girl. A 'cuddle buddy' because he was lonely, that hurt, but I didn't want to be selfish because it was what he needed. He had assured me that it was nothing more.
Today I found out that they are living together, and have been so for two days, although this would have been planned a week or two in advance.
I feel as though my heart has been physically ripped out. I know that maybe it's nothing, although he had previously told me that he wasn't going to get any room mates for a while. I'm being stupid and silly, but… He didn't tell me about it, and I guess I was under the impression that we told each other everything.
I think I should move on from him, I know that's probably for the best but it just hurts, it hurts so much.
TL;DR: | Ex that I love and he still (apparently )loves me just moved in with his old cuddle buddy and didn't tell me anything about it until she had already moved in. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: 25F - confusing date, advice please?
POST: So I need some help deciphering what is going on with this guy I met on OKC. I sent him a message, he responds... the conversation was good, and so I asked if he wanted to meet up. We got coffee and hung around talking for an obnoxiously long time at the cafe, but when we went to leave we just kind of kept walking around together for awhile. Then we ended up getting drinks and staying out pretty late. After that, we were texting - not constantly but in sort of a flirty way. So, about a week later I suggest we do something else, he agrees. ("awesome idea"-the guy). So there is more drinking and whatever, I leave the room for a second and he pays our bar tab. He indicates I can pay next time. So we leave and I walk him to the subway station on my way home. He texts me that he missed the last train, and so I invite him to come to my place if he wants. So he sleeps in my bed with me, after I offered the couch in case he felt awkward about it. So he is sort of half cuddling with me, rubbing his feet over mine and putting his arm over me and such, but never making a move and keeping it pretty platonic. Okay, so we get up in the morning and he takes off, but not before giving me kind of an awkward hug and wishing me a nice holiday (I'm traveling home tomorrow)...
So what is the deal? Is he into me or not? I feel like I am getting mixed signals, and it is clearly making me over think things. I do like him, and would be interested in seeing more of him, but only if he wants to see more of me blah blah. Any advice? And just to clarify I know that I could have made a move, but I didn't want to make him feel like he was obligated to do anything with me, since I was letting him crash at my place.
TL;DR: | second date, guy comes home with me but just sleeps in my bed... don't know if this is worth pursuing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 F] boyfriend [22 M] doesn't trust me meeting up and staying at an old friend's place
POST: My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. I had an old friend from high school who just got back from serving in the middle east. He started talking to me on facebook, and said he had moved back to Houston. He said we should catch up and I thought it was a great idea. My parents have moved out of Houston to California, so I didn't have a place to stay, so he offered that I could stay at his house.
I told my boyfriend about this, and he said he didn't want me to go. I asked if it was because he didn't trust him, and he said, it was that and that he didn't trust me being in that situation as well. He said after a few drinks or in the wrong situation, anything could happen, and he would hold me equally accountable.
I don't know how I feel about that. This sounds controlling, but I am not sure if his concerns are valid. I feel like he is being insecure. What do y'all think of the situation? Should I tell him after 3 years I have earned a little trust?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with me meeting up with an old friend and staying at his place because I have no other options to stay in the city. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Got drunk, admitted love to a friend with zero interest in me
POST: I've got an old friend from college -- we're both 25 and have known each other for six years. I'm a guy, she's a girl. We're good friends and go out about once a week. We had plans to go to a prix fixe restaurant with a wine pairings yesterday and in the afternoon I got some very bad family news. I figured I'd be ok, but at dinner I drank much too much, and over post-dessert coffee I confessed my love for her. Now, I do love her, and it'd be great if we were more than friends, but she is completely uninterested in a relationship with me (or anyone else for that matter -- she hasn't dated anyone in years). I'd hate to lose a friend, yada yada yada.
The problem is compounded by the fact that things get pretty fuzzy after my confession. I remember that she was not happy about my pronouncement, but beyond sharing a cab to our respective apartments afterward I don't remember much.
My instinct is to just wait a few days and pretend like it never happened; should I face the issue head-on? How long should I wait before reaching out to her? Should I wait for her to reach out to me? I'd prefer to avoid awkwardness.
TL;DR: | got drunk in the company of a (tipsy but not drunk) female friend, confessed my love. I think she was not pleased, but I am not sure. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20M] have been dating a [18F] for almost 6 months now, but I don't know if I'm relationshipping right?
POST: To start I want to say that I'm pretty bad at explaining things, so please bear with me.
Okay so I have no idea what to ask or whatever, but pretty much I've been dating this amazing girl for about 6 months now, but I don't know if what we're (or what I'm doing) is... right? Like she's in her senior year about to graduate and I'll bring her lunch on my days off of work or whenever our lunches line up and eat with her. I try and see her as much as possible and if she calls me on Skype or her phone I'll drop whatever I'm doing to talk to her. We do the things that pretty much every relationship does (kiss, hold hands, tell her that I love her and she says she loves me). We've been on dates and just yesterday I took her to prom which was pretty exciting. I think about her a lot... like when we aren't talking I wish we were. I don't know if this post makes any sense, but I'll try and ask a few questions here in a second.
TL;DR: | I'm confused about what "love" is and what being in a relationship is (I'm devoted to her completely I would never cheat on her or hurt her purposely) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [21M] girlfriend [21F] of 4 years has been taking antidepressants, and recently revealed that she doesn't feel the same about me anymore. What should I do?
POST: We've been together for the past 4 years, and our relationship has been great. We get along with each other's families, we don't argue, and I had few complaints about everything. Around a year ago she started taking antidepressants, and after a little while I noticed that things were a little bit different. She lost interest in intimacy, didn't seem to be as interested in displaying affection, etc.
I had been the one to suggest that she speak to a doctor about getting the medication to help with her depression, and it took some convincing but she eventually did it. It took a while to work, but I definitely noticed improvements in her mood and it seemed that she was much more happy.
About a month ago she told me that she no longer felt the same about me, and that she constantly feels like she wants to be alone. She said she isn't interested in other people, and she loves me but is not "in love" anymore.
I've tried to explain to her that it might be because of her medication, and all I want is for her to consider speaking to her doctor about this lack of interest being due to the medication, but she is resistant to it.
She says that our relationship and how we get along as a couple is better than ever before, but she just wants to be alone. How can I keep us together? How should I go about trying to get her to be willing to accept that it MIGHT be due to the medication, and to treat this as if it were a side effect?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend taking antidepressants has lost interest in our relationship, I suspect it is due to the medication. How do I convince her that this may be the case to stop her from ending it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the most absurd customer complaint you've ever heard or seen? I'll start. I know a guy who reported his lawyer to the state disciplinary committee for having cancer.
POST: That's right, this guy reported his divorce lawyer to the state disciplinary committee because she had to take a couple days off here and there for her health. The client thought the case was taking too long, even though he knew he couldn't get divorced yet because he hadn't been separated from his wife for the 6-month period. So he got drunk one night and left his lawyer a voicemail that he going to report her to the state disciplinary committee. In the morning his lawyer called to ask him why, and he said it was because she was taking too much time off the case. She had only had 2 chemo treatments up to that point and taken 2-3 days off after each one. That morning, even though he was sober, he did go ahead and report her.
TL;DR: | Like the title says, guy reported his lawyer to the state disciplinary committee because her cancer was "getting in the way" of his divorce. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the worst a cop's screwed you in regards to a traffic ticket?
POST: I'm currently twiddling my thumbs waiting for the judge to finally return a verdict in my case, so I wanted to know how other Redditors have been screwed.
I had a cop zip in front of me at a traffic light, miss my bumper by a few inches, flick on his lights and go after another car. This was at midnight so basically I got blinded going into the intersection. His buddy behind him was kind enough to pull me over and ticket me for running a red light.
The real kicker is when we got into court, the cop completely omitted the other officer's pursuit and said I was stopped at a red light while he was stopped behind me. He said I just suddenly decided to go. Thankfully in traffic court I could ask him about it and jumped down his throat and got him to admit there was another stop being made. Still not sure how the judge is going to rule though.
TL;DR: | Cop says his buddy didn't blind me while recklessly going after another car and dings me for running a red light |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Has anyone on here dated someone who was pregnant or has a kid? How did you two end up?
POST: I (20 Male) was talking to this girl (20 Female) for a while and we finally met. I found out that she's due in March and the real father is not apart of her life. It's not a deal breaker for me because I basically fell head over heels for her even before we met. It's not I don't to be with her, I'm just unsure about it. It's honestly a big deal for me, kids are hardwork. I'm willing to be a part of the kids life if everything falls into place. The idea though of having a child being apart of my life whether it's mine or not, is still kinda scary for me. Can anyone help me and just give me piece of mind whether or not this is a good idea?
TL;DR: | Finally met the girl I was talking for a while, she's due in March. Real father not involved. Still want to be with her, just unsure if it's the right idea. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I was having sex with my girlfriend in public, some kid came up to us, and I said something beyond stupid to him (story inside). What's the most mentally delayed thing you've ever said to someone?
POST: This just happened to me last night... It involves a huge cake and some prostitution
I was visiting Paris with my girlfriend (we're still here and it's our last day today). After a night full of steamy sex, we decide to walk around and sight-see, at which point I turn to my girlfriend and tell her to wear a short skirt. I leaned in and whispered to her ear "I wanna fuck you in public... Don't put on any underwear...".
So that's the back story. What happened next is... Just read on...
We're walking around some park and I start groping her next to a tree. It's obvious everyone could see us, but fuck it. We were horny. I'm getting closer and closer to the insides of her thighs. I let out her left breast and fondle it while my fingers slowly trace the edges of her pussy, now dripping wet; yearning for my cock. I unzip my pants and start teasing her cunt with my dick. Rubbing it up and down, an inch away from going in. It was hot, and I was just about ready to fuck her in that park. But then we spot a kid right next to us carrying a huge cake in his hand. He was alone and probably didn't know what was going on, so I stopped for a second. I looked at the kid and asked him what he was doing with a cake in his hands, and the kid then asked me with a dead-pan face *how much did she cost?* I'm pissed as fuck at this kid right now for dissing me and my girlfriend like that. I turn my entire body towards him now, look him straight in the face and say, "bout tree-fiddy". Turns out my girlfriend is actually the Lochness Monster. Doesn't matter. Had sex.
TL;DR: | Was having sex with my then girlfriend in public. Kid comes up to us and calls her a prostitute. Shit ensues. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (16M) I'm starting to like this girl (17F), but I don't know where to go from here
POST: So I got a new job around a month and a half ago and I started to like one of my co-workers. She's super funny, nice and full of energy all of the time, but my problem is that I have no idea if she's just trying to be friendly with the new guy or if she's actually flirting with me. Within two weeks of working there she invited me to a bonfire she's having with a ton of other people there, which kind of sent me mixed messages because on one hand she barely knows me and is inviting me to a party, but on the other hand she's basically invited almost everyone she knows. Then a bit later she started to swap breaks with other people we work with so she could be on break with me, but that's kind of died down now. We have exchanged numbers because when she asked me if I had plans on the day of the party I said I didn't, but that I would need a reminder closer to the date because I'm really forgetful. So she said if I gave her my number she could just text me a reminder. We didn't text at all after that, but a couple of weeks ago I texted her to see if she had won her school election (I was waiting for an excuse to text her so it wouldn't be as awkward). We talked for a bit, but it stopped when I had to go. I texted her again, using another excuse, and we talked for a bit until I was too tired to. Now I'm lost because I don't have any experience with this and I'm horrible at texting people without it ending in an awkward silence. Please give advice on what I should do next.
TL;DR: | Don't know if a girl is being really nice or flirting with me. Not experienced with this sort of thing, can't text without making it awkward. Need advice on what to do next |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (mid-twenties) with my co-workers (various ages, all above 20) at a restaurant
POST: Hi!
I used to work at a restaurant as a server. This particular restaurant was very team-based. I loved the job, but my coworkers/managers and me didn't click very well. I ended up resigning after about 3 months as I couldn't deal with staying there. Before I left, they told me that they didn't think that I was open with them and that I was immature. Before I left, I tried to change myself as much as I could to fit what they wanted, but they kept telling me that I was doing it wrong, and not being helpful as to what I was doing wrong. An example of why they thought I wasn't open was when I made a mistake, I would try to fix it myself, and then I would look back and try to figure out why I made the mistake, and how not to do it again, whereas they wanted me to verbalize it to them. I'm not a particularly open person about my life and my mistakes, but I've never had an issue like this before. I got another job offer, and I'm worried that it will happen again.
What I'm looking for is suggestions on how to be more mature, more open and more easy to get along with in a work setting. I've tried looking up self-help books, but I don't know which ones are good. I can't afford a psychiatrist right now. I know that I can be pretty stubborn as well, so any help with that would also be very appreciated!
Thanks in advance!! :)
TL;DR: | Old coworkers/managers at serving job said I was difficult to work with, not open and immature. Don't want to repeat this at new job, and looking for suggestions. Thanks :) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My mother [59F] accused my boyfriend [24M] and me [24F] of being codependent? Is she right, or is she being too critical?
POST: My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were younger, and have been best friends since we were kids. Even as friends, we were really close. We had two other friends that were in our little group so it wasn't just the two of us one-on-one all the time.
But even before we started dating, we were still very close and confided a lot in each other.
We got together at the end of high school. Our colleges were 30 minutes away from each other, and after our first year we got an apartment right in the middle. We've lived together ever since.
I work long hours with a fair number of unexpected late nights if something comes up. His hours are slightly better than mine, but his job is still pretty draining. Normal weekdays I leave at 7 and get back around 8, so I'm pretty beat. Not really interested in going out or pursuing hobbies. Normally I walk in, he always makes dinner, we eat and clean up and then I'm out by 11.
I don't know how to build other friendships apart from him, none of my coworkers are my age and all of our friends are mutual so we rarely go out without the other person. Again, I've been best friends with him since I was 12ish.
And honestly it's really hard to be away from him, he was gone for a weekend and I was genuinely embarrassed of how much I missed him. I had a hard time sleeping in our bed without him. We texted all the time but still.
We've always shared everything and done everything together, and I feel like I don't know how to separate my life from his. Not that I'm unhappy or want to break up, it's just maybe I should? Or maybe I shouldn't worry. Does anyone have any advice or questions? I tried to look up more about codependence and boundary issues, but most of it seemed one-person focused.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I spend a lot of time together. Are we codependent? If so, how do we figure it out? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Lied to my closest friend.
POST: So I'm 16, still at school, and the other day an incident occurred where I was in no doubt trouble. I'm not a troublemaker so this was the first of its kind and I was building this lie to protect myself from the truth. I lied to my friend so that he wouldn't try to take matters into his own hands as I didn't want him to interfere.
Next morning I wake up and tell everyone the truth, including my friend. He hasn't forgiven me for lying to him as we put all our trust in each other. I've apologised to him as many times as possible but he's blanking me completely. I need this guy, he's been my closest friend for around 6 years. I'm not letting something like this ruin our friendship.
Sorry for being so vague, I don't want to go into any specifics but can anyone just give me some advice on how to go full up to him and say sorry so we can pretend it never happened?
TL;DR: | Got into trouble, lied to friend to hide truth. Told friend truth the next day and now he's blanking me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18F] with my boyfriend [18M] of 2 years, need help breaking up.
POST: So just for some context, I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years - I'm not sure if that counts as long term, but it's the longest I've ever gone.
Things have taken a major turn for the worse lately (read: ignoring the safe word) and I just don't trust him any more. I don't really enjoy his company, and acts of a sexual nature are completely off the table for a very long time.
I desperately want to end the relationship - it deeply saddens me to do so because of how much we have shared together, but I just think that the damage which has been done is irreversible.
My problem is that when it comes to actually breaking up with him, he just won't let me do it!
I've told him that we're breaking up, but he doesn't listen. He will literally get down on his knees and beg, whilst crying uncontrollably, for me not to leave him. He also gets scared which makes him do desperate things, like getting violent.
I've had enough now and tomorrow we're meeting up for a 'talk' at a neutral location.
I know he will be there with flowers, and he'll be so persistent asking for another chance and begging me to come with him to 'have fun' and play games like we used to. I thought that guys accepted when you broke up with them, and I desperately need advice on how to tackle this because I've never been in this situation before.
TL;DR: | I want to break up with my long term boyfriend, but he is not accepting it. What should I do? Is there anything I'm supposed to be doing? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Taking a break advice.
POST: Me [18] and my girlfriend [18] of 2 years are taking a break from each other because she has lost the spark in our relationship. We both still love each other shes just lost that spark we used to have, I told her we should just take a break and spend some time apart to see how we feel about it, I have never done this nor have I ever been in this situation so basically I'm wondering 1. Is this the right thing to do to at least try to get our spark back and 2. If it is how do I do it?
TL;DR: | Lost the spark in the relationship wondering if taking a break is the right thing to dot and if it is how do I do it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: [Serious] Procrastinators of Reddit: How did you successfully deal with your problem procrastination?
POST: Everybody procrastinates sometimes. You know; you make dinner, eat, then think "....Screw it; I'll clean the kitchen in the morning." And then, the next morning, you clean the kitchen. This sort of procrastination is normal. This is not the sort of procrastination I am talking about, and if you do this, you're not the person I'm addressing.
I'm talking about serious, problem procrastination. The sort where people put off paying bills 'till they're sent to collections not because they can't afford the bill, but "just because." Or perhaps you wait until the night before your paper is due to start working on it -- *every single time*! Maybe you have to get an extension on your taxes every year, or maybe you're several years behind on your taxes because you simply can't make yourself do it. Big stuff; the sort of thing that, if you procrastinate, there are serious repercussions. This is the sort of thing I'm talking about.
So here's my deal; I'm in my mid-20s, I just (*barely!*) graduated with my undergrad degree and I've realized that *literally every real problem in my life can traced back to procrastination*. Among other things I have screwed up relationships, demolished my credit score, and very possibly ruined my chances at grad school because I compulsively procrastinate on pretty much *everything*. If I don't figure out how to get this shit handled, my life is not going to be a very good one. I am in serious danger of living out my days working in a shitty, low-paying, run-of-the-mill job, having a string of lackluster relationships that only last 'till the woman bails because my problems start to outweigh the fact that, otherwise, I'm a really great guy. Shit, as they say, has gotten real.
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TL;DR: | If you have/had a serious procrastination problem, how did you manage to overcome -- or at least mitigate -- the effects. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Chasing the Girl of my Dreams [17m][17f]
POST: We have been friends since I came to the school as a freshman, I am a junior now and she is a senior. I've always liked her in a girlfriend type way, but never thought I had a chance in hell with her.
About 2 months ago I became single, and a month ago my interest in this girl resparked while she was consoling me. She told me she would go out with me, but here's the catch... if she was single. She has been going out with her boyfriend for about 1 year now I think.
Her boyfriend is a bit of an asshole to her, and she complains about him almost daily to me, but she insists on trying to fix things up between the two of them.
So, here is my question. Do I just sit here and wait? Do I take a more active role? Do I just move on to find someone else?
TL;DR: | Girl of my dreams is in a relationship, but would go out with me if not, wait for her or do something else? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25 M] losing my [26 F]after 5 years due to lack of communication basically.
POST: Hi guys, Going through a rough time here and just looking for some input before i make any final decisions.
Story:
My S/O and i have been together for 5 years, lived together for 2.5 and have 3 cats together. Shes more of a tom boy, always on the go needs to keep busy. I have nothing against that but recently we have got stuck in a rut you could say. Works draining and we really only spend time together on weekends if were free. We talk alot and the relationship has been perfect, despite not having alot in common. WE love our familys both alot so that helps.
About 2 months ago she sat me down and said she was feeling distant, in that i don't show my effection or excitement for her as much as i used to.(I am guilty of that.)
So I said things would change and they did for the better, we got out more, etc,etc. She battles from some pretty bad depression, which i can't relate to considering im so happy go lucky. But i listen and help as best as i can. Problem is, we get stuck in a routine of doing not much and she doesnt do anything to pull us out, she pretends shes happy and i honestly think she is.
She lets all these small things build up through lack of communication on both our parts, and this weekend said shes done with trying to make it work. Now i addressed all of these short comings and i really want to make a complete 180 to try and salvage this relationship, because all the things she has brought up are things we could easily fix.
She just doesn't know if she wants to continue.
I realize i haven't been the ideal boyfriend but now, i see what i am going to lose and it scares the shit out of me, im ready to do anything for her.
I'm moving out tonight to stay with a friend and give her some space to think, is there anything i can say or do thats not going to push her away more? Its so frustrating because i know we can easily overcome these obstacles but in her eyes she's already gave me the 1 chance. Thanks for the advice guys.
TL;DR: | 5 great years is coming to an end due to lack of communication and effort on my part, i want to fix it but she's not sure if she wants to get hurt again. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I'm not in love.
POST: I'm not in love. Not in some pathetic "oh but you are and I can't return your feelings and I can't stand telling you more lies" way, although I do feel rather pathetic.
I'm not in love in an entirely differenty but equally horrible "I can't fall in love" way. You are perhaps the perfect man for me. You have *all* the characteristics I would look for in a man, and most of the "bonus" ones too. Each and every one of them. Aside from that, I admire you and I respect you. We have great chemistry, we fuck like proverbial bunnies. We work together very well. We want the same things in life. When we hang out we can talk comfortably or sit comfortably in silence.
I love you, I know that. And all of that isn't enough for me to fall in love. I feel broken and retarded and confused. It's not that I *want* to be in love, it's that I'm afraid if I can't fall in love with you, who will I fall in love with ever again? I used to love being in love. There was nothing more thrilling than that perpetual excitement I would feel, the constant tingling of every nerve in my body, the pure joy of walking down the street and knowing there is someone out there who could mean something to you. Someone whose presence gives you that little extra something to brighten your day.
I haven't even liked someone in a long while. Quite frankly, you're the only person I've liked in months. And I really do like you. I've liked you for years, back when I didn't even think we would ever see each other again :) Nothing torrid or intense, but you were always, how to put this?, fascinating. Maybe that's why I do like you and I don't currently like anyone else? Because before that trauma I liked you, but no one else was as interesting?
Sorry to everyone who's read this, it's a bit wacky, I was typing whatever came to mind :)
TL;DR: | Basically I'm confused as to why I haven't fallen in love. It's a good thing, but it worries me because I feel unable to fall in love, and the idea of not being in love ever again is terrifying. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: She is scared she will hurt anyone who gets too close
POST: There is this girl I really like. She is nice, kind, and sweet. I think she likes me to but, there is a problem.
She tries to distance herself from the person that she gets close with because she is afraid she will hurt them. I really like this girl, and I want to be in a relationship with her. But this is the reason why she has never had a relationship. I want to be in a relationship with her, I really like this girl. How can I work past this, how can I let her know that she wont hurt me and that there is nothing to be afraid of?
TL;DR: | She tries to distance herself from a person that she really likes because she is afraid she will hurt them. How can I let her know she wont hurt me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Should I go through with this? (Alcohol involved with asking this, kind of NSFW I guess)
POST: So there is this girl that I have liked for a little while and we've gone to a few movies together and out to a few bars but nothing serious. One night we were joking around talking about sexual things and she said how she wished her vibe hadn't broke (not going into the details that lead to this) and I joked about buying her a new one. It is a few weeks later and she has forgotten all about my joke about it. Now there is a local adult toy store nearby that sells gift cards. Would it be totally wrong for a guy who is not her boyfriend and only interested in casual dating to buy her a gift card to let her go pick out a new "friend?"
TL;DR: | Would it be totally wrong for a guy who is not her boyfriend and only interested in casual dating to buy her a gift card to let her go pick out a new "friend?" |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Any divorce lawyers out their that can help my brother [M28] and his wife's [F29]'s situation?
POST: Okay, where do I begin?
My brother has been married to "Sarah" for about 7 years now. They have two children. One is the biological son of my brother, the other is not his biological daughter. They met in the army when she was pregnant with her, they married, and he legally adopted the daughter.
Anyways, Sarah is a very stubborn person who always wants her way and isn't the nicest to my brother/is demanding. He in return gets mad at this and they fight a lot. That's the extent of their bad marriage. She is going with the claim that he is "emotionally abusive" when she is just as "emotionally abusive" to him. She puts down him in front of the kids, in front of family, etc.
Here's the story.. back in August she decided she wanted to go to nursing school to get her degree... ok, fine. My brother is a police officer (veteran of the army) in a nice city (in a college town might I add), they had a nice house, etc. She can go to school there, right? Wrong. She decides to go to COLORADO (when he is in midwest) where her family is and pay out of state tuition to get her nursing degree (2 years). She took the kids. She is living with her sister and her husband and their 5 kids.
Now, Sarah was supposed to come back to the midwest for the holidays (always been the plan) but instead said she didn't wanna see my brother and is not going to come anymore. My aunt might drive out to colorado and get the kids. As a result, my brother said he wants a divorce which is understandable.
I don't know, I don't want my brother being screwed over in a divorce (something I think she was pushing for and waiting til he finally broke). Do you think he will get screwed? He's not a bad dad, the parents just dont get along (mostly her fault, imo-- though she'll claim the reverse and victimize herself).
I can give more details if necessary, just ask.
TL;DR: | Brother has been married for 7 years, wife moved thousands of miles away and took the kids, won't visit for holidays, brother asks for divorce. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25 F] found a hidden camera while watching my one-year-old niece. Should I be mad?
POST: I used to have a fairly close relationship with my brother [23] but that all changed once he got married. Long story short, there's a ton of tension between him and his wife and the rest of the family. I try my best to stay on their good side, but I don't feel like I know my brother at all anymore. They have a one-year-old daughter, whom I adore.
Recently, my SIL got a job, requiring childcare for the first time. I volunteered to do it for free for a few months, giving them time to find someone long-term they could afford. I've been watching my niece three days a week for a few weeks now, and things seem to be going great.
They initially told me not to take any books off the top shelf so the baby doesn't tear them. Well, the other day, I noticed that among those top shelf books was a verrry small camera. I don't know how to tell if it was recording sound, which is definitely illegal. I suppose I should assume it wasn't. It was hooked up to the DVR.
I feel frustrated and embarrassed (I mean, I know I've picked my nose at some point, and a wedgie or two), but should I just shrug it off? I don't have a good relationship with them anyway, and I want to be able to see my niece. Is their recording me understandable from the eyes of others, or is it a breach of trust? Should I try to talk to them about it, or just let it all go?
TL;DR: | I watch my niece a few days a week and discovered a nanny cam the other day. Am I justified in feeling irritated? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (22m) found my gf(20f) of 3 years sending sexual texts to my cousin (27m)
POST: Idk where to start. We are going to talk tonight, but she has no idea that I know. I hate to say it but I had a strong hunch and I snooped.
I logged into her Facebook this morning (guessed her password). I found that my girlfriend, let's call her liz, liz had sent multiple messages to my cousin Mike. Like semi nudes of her in the tanning bed, she covered her lady parts but barely if you know what I mean. Liz also had suggested that she go over to Mikes at night. That does he feel guilt about this. I mean some messages are friendly, others suggest she wants to sleep with him. He has turned down from what I can see all of her advances, saying he's busy but it's not like a no stop this, it's a not now it's a bad time. He hasn't said anything to me, we are not the closest of cousins but we have known each other since we were younger.
This has been going on since June 10th at least all I could tell from the messages sent. I always felt something has been up, since the start of June, liz had not been acting normal, more distant, and less focused on me.
Idk what to say tonight or what to even do from here. I've been sick to my stomach all day, but I have work. Liz has texted me once today like a normal day like nothing has happened. I can't get myself to respond.
I hate to say I snooped. Just FYI I know that our intimate time has not been as great as liz probably wants, we do try but it's just not the same. So it kinda explains the reason behind her attempts but does no way justify them. She swears she loves me and "would not do anything to hurt me"
Sorry about the blocks of text. It's very stream of conscious. I can't seem to think straight.
TL;DR: | went snooping and found my girlfriend trying to sleep with my cousin. She doesn't know I know. What do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/GetMotivated
TITLE: Every step I take is a gift
POST: I didn't really know where to put this but wanted to share; this is what gets me out of bed each morning and gets me through most everything in life.
Dr K and Dr W - I owe my life (or mostly - my legs) to these two men.
Some background, i was born with a coarctation in my descending aorta (basically a narrowing of the main artey from the heart taking blood to the legs)
This was spotted in a check up at 3 years old as a murmur by my GP (Dr K) and i ended up having surgery age 3 - a balloon angioplasty for anyone interested just google it (performed by Dr W).
Without that surgery i would have had complications and would have been unable to walk by the time I was 16.
I'm 18 years old in 3 weeks time and I have led a perfectly normal life (I couldn't play rugby but i was never into it anyways)
The only problem i have now is slightly high blood pressure which is easily controlled by drugs and doesnt affect me at all. I've even run several 9 mile fun runs!
Now every day I walk perfectly fine, but I wouldnt say normally, because I know every step i take is a gift, a gift from modern medicine and from the men who identified the problem and treated me.
Thanks for reading and I hope you all find a way to put a spring in every step you take.
TL;DR: | Heart problem, wouldnt be able to walk by 16, almost 18 now, do fun runs, walk every day - cheers doc. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [25/F] am having a rocky start with my [23/M] boyfriend, should I just stop?
POST: I started seeing a guy casually in April. After a month or so we were pretty much hanging out all the time and he brought up the exclusive talk.
After about 2 months in he broke up with me, and said the exact line "im going to push you away, its a defense thing, but we're done". 12 hour later he apologized for freaking out and we got back together.
after 2 weeks he made a internet dating profile, which of course through a network of friends got back to me, I was really upset. We didn't talk for a few days until he asked to "at-least be friends". Which I told him I couldn't handle that, and it was all or nothing.
the night he choose all and was really great. We talked about a future together, and he told me he didn't want to sleep with me that night so I didn't think it was only about sex.
everything was fine until this past weekend when he bailed on date night last minute for his friend who's moving. Which I was really supportive of, even said to take him a bottle of nice whiskey. I decided to just go to bed, but when I woke up he had deleted me off every social networking site. (and his friend I found out had already moved the day before so he wasn't with him). Now he wont respond to the 3 texts I've sent him, just asking him to at-least tell me where we stand.
TL;DR: | every time my boyfriend and I move forward he breakup with me, and I don't know if I can deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Help with getting over a girl I never dated and haven't really spoken to in almost a year. [18 M]
POST: This sounds pathetic but in high school there was this girl who I freaking loved. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and had a similar personality to me so she understood how I felt about things and I understood her. In school we would talk to each other every morning and I would make my brother(twin brother, we shared a car and somehow the agreement happened that he would drive in the mornings and I would drive in the afternoons) park in the same parking lot as her so I could talk to her a little bit longer every day, but even when we didn't we would always find each other in the hallways. Looking back, she was obviously interested in me since she kept doing things like insisting to be my dance partner for a stupid play thing we did and sitting next to me on bus rides, and getting flustered whenever we were alone together for any length of time. I wanted to ask her out, but right when I was planning on doing it, I managed to convince myself that she hated me because of a stupid thing I said. I later realized that this wasn't the case, but managed to convince myself that she only liked me as a friend (despite the fact that she said she wanted to go to prom with me).
I feel like a dumbass and even though I have only seen her once since high school ended I still can't get over her and how much of a dumbass I am for not seeing the signs. How do I get over this? It's effecting my current attempts at relationships because even in a perfect situation I still managed to fuck it up.
TL;DR: | I can't get over my high school crush and it's affecting how I currently view relationships. How do I get over her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I'm [20/m] and I'm currently "dating" a [18/f]. We're stuck in a "limbo" of sorts and I don't know what to do.
POST: So basically I've had a crush on this university mate of mine and she's had a crush on me as well. I confessed to her 2 weeks ago and it was a really great time and feeling because it was obvious that she had those same feelings and she reciprocated.
So since then we've talked once about where we go from there on, and we both agreed to go slow, put the labels off for now and "go with the flow". Mind you, I'm totally fine with all 3 of these, if I didn't think that we weren't going anywhere at all. It feels stagnant, and it feels as though there is nothing moving things forward.
Things to keep in mind is that this girl has never been in a relationship ever before. Whether serious or otherwise. No flings, no things, nothing. I'm literally, according to her and her other friends, the first person that has ever come out and told her how I feel, and that she's actually reciprocated. She's never been in a relationship before because of bad timing and the guys not really being her type. There are problems with this obviously, things like basic communication between 2 people that like each other is something she isn't accustomed to like checking in from time to time, or at all really. Needless to say she's a crappy texter.
When I see her in real life, it's all well and good. We laugh, we enjoy each others' presence and we always have things to talk about and it's amazing cause it's just naturally that way. I don't know how to bring up the topic of communication, and getting to know her relationship side and how she operates and such without the fear of coming off as pushy? I'm afraid to push her away. Then again, I understand that I would not know what it is that pushes her away if I don't talk to her about it.
So how do I keep this going? How do I keep things alive? When do I bring up the talk about communication and about where we really are and what we are to each other? How do I do it without seeming pushy?
TL;DR: | I'm currently sorta dating a relationship virgin but I feel like we aren't getting anywhere. How do I keep the ball rolling? We aren't official, but I'd like us to be. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 M] with my friend [23 F] been friends for 7 months - I betrayed her and I feel awful about it
POST: I have trust issues so I have problems trusting others and also trusting myself.
There was this friend that I really like and we were having sexual conversations with each other; long story short, after our conversation I learned that she told this other guy, who also likes her, about our conversation. The other guy confronted me about it and I was enraged that she told him and I felt like the trust between us were broken.
Due to my anger about her breaking our trust, I opened up to him and told him everything he needed to know about her and her secrets. (stupid mistake I know I should have controlled my anger and just let it slip away).
Then I confronted her the day after and I learned that she thought being open minded was telling everyone everything, it was all a huge mistake. She didn't mean to betray me and she was not a social person so I know that she was sincere, but she got mad at me for telling 1 of her biggest secret, which I didn't know it was that serious. She said we can still be friends but she doesn't think she can trust me anymore.
I feel so bad about this, it kills me inside that I did it. I never ever ever tell secrets to others, but why did it have to be her? It could have been somebody else u_u
She said she's not mad at me anymore, but I can't accept it - she should be mad! I'm more mad to myself right now and I want to gain her trust back.
What should I do?
TL;DR: | Misunderstanding led to betrayal of a friend and now she doesn't trust me anymore and I want to earn it back. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: I keep procrastinating and can NEVER force my self to work on tasks. Advice please?
POST: Info: 21/M/Student/Unemployed
I'll start by being honest - I've come to terms with myself that I'm an incredibly lazy person that just wants to live a fun, chill and carefree life right now. I spend most of my days inside procrastinating and wasting time playing games, but I want to seriously change now.
Even though I'm really lazy, I've got really big plans and ambitions for my future career, which might sound a bit ironic and stupid, but I believe in myself if I can get past this current lifestyle.
So I'm hoping anyone could give me some advice on how to seriously stop procrastinating by playing games all day, and actually work on my goals/tasks.
Just for extra information, my goal is to be a concept artist so my plan right now is to try and draw/practice for hours everyday without getting distracted by games.
TL;DR: | Want to be productive (work on tasks at home for hours) but keep playing games instead and can't force myself to stop. Need advice/help. Appreciate it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me[29M] with my girlfriend [29F] of 1 year, wants to move, I have fear/hesitation
POST: My girlfriend and I have been together just over a year since our first date. We're happy together, but only see each other on weekends, as she lives in the city, and I live in the suburbs about an hour outside. She wants me to get a place with her in the city, somewhere I previously had said I wanted to live (and felt that way). Now, I have extremely cold feet.
I'm nervous/hesitant about leaving my friends I've had for over 20 years, and my parents, whom I'm extremely close with. I know it's an hour away, not cross country, but I'm used to seeing my parents 3-4 times a week. Maybe that's not typical, but being an only child probably has something to do with it.
My parents hang out with a few couples they grew up with every weekend, and my friends hang out the same way. I was hoping to continue that, and I'm worried I'll miss my hometown friends and parents a lot. I also know this will cause a riff with my parents, they won't support this (they don't think she's "the one").
My girlfriend cries constantly now, saying how devestated she will be if this doesn't work out, as it's the best relationship she's ever had (this is the longest she's had one, at 1 year basically). She says it will hurt very badly if I choose staying where I live, that she'll take it that she "wasnt worth it". I can't even sleep on weekends as she cries to me all night and gets very angry.
Another concern is I feel my girlfriend is a very "strong" personality, and even I find her intimidating. I've talked to her about this, and the fact we've had fights lately because she feels I don't "communicate" with her well about everything I do during the week has made me more hesitant, that this could snowball if I move my life for her.
What do you guys think? Any advice?
TL;DR: | Girlfriend of 1 year wants me to move across the state with her. I'm very nervous/sad to leave my parents and friends behind. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [21/M] My girlfriend (23/F) is going to a nude beach despite how I feel
POST: I'm currently out of the country and my girlfriend of one year told me today that she is going to go to a nude beach today. She had the mentioned the idea before and I had made it clear earlier that it is not something I would be comfortable with so when she brought it up today, naturally I told her the same; I am uncomfortable with you going to a nude beach. Her response was that I am making her feel bad for something she shouldnt and it does not harm me in anyway and she isn't going to not do something because of the way I feel and its my problem if I have an issue with it.
Throughout our relationship I have been understanding and accomodating with things she felt uncomfortable with, but when the tables were turned she acted completely unexpectedly and I feel disrespected and it appears to me she doesnt care how I feel. I even offered a compromise that if she waited 4 days for me to get home that I would go with her so as to propely judge in person as well how I feel. She says theres nothing sexual about it and if I feel uncomfortable its my own fault.
I feel as though she doesnt care how I feel or what I think, and I am not sure how to react, right now all I can think of is I dont want to be in a relationship with a person who seems to care so little about my feelings. Id appreciate any advice.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is going to nude beach, told her countless times I am not okay with it, she doesnt care and says its my problem. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My crush [14f] found out I like her via a mutual friend [14f], and has continued talking with me [14m] but hasn't brought it up yet.
POST: so first post here so give me some feedback please,
So recently I have been talking to a girl, I really like her, let's call her x. I'm also really great friends with x's best friend let's call her z. Now z and I are pretty close because our older brothers are both great friends. Now recently she told me who she likes, and so I told her who I like which is obviously x, her best friend. I tried to get z and her crush together but it didn't work out, z then asked me if she should tell x, that I like her so being the little bitch that I am (I was planning to ask out x in a few days when we met up alone) I tell z to tell x that I like her.
X's initial response to z was that she was shocked, she then later said to z that she didn't know what to do because she "isn't used to guys liking her" then i hit a bump, z has stopped replying to me and we're all meant to meet up in an hour.
We do eventually meet up and I was going to bring it up at the end of the night but we ran into a bunch of her friends, and the fates decided to screw me over and x's friends decided to hang with us for the night, which was fine, but I knew I shouldn't ask about it because it would make it awkward and we were all having fun so I decided not to ruin it. Afterwards when I got home we were still talking but during the whole time it was never brought up.
It's important to note that x definitely does know that I like her.
TL;DR: | girl I'm talking to knows I like her and hasn't said anything, what Can I do/say to her in this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [19 M] worry about my girlfriend [16 F] of 6 months too much.
POST: First thing's first, I absolutely adore her. There is no-one else I could ever have wished for. She is my everything. I am her everything, and I know it (but don't quite believe it yet).
However, I have a few issues. Apart from having trouble with accepting the fact that she loves me, I worry about her too much. I worry that she might misuse my trust. I worry that she will meet new people that influence her in a bad way. I worry that she might start with drugs. Become an alcoholic. Meet another guy that wins her over (although she's not that kind of girl). Whatever. The fact that she is still rather young (soon 16) makes me worry that she is vulnerable and craving experience, no matter how bad. I worry so much that it's been giving me sleepless nights. The fact that I'm off to the military soon for 1-2 years doesn't help either.
I've thought about ending the relationship. Maybe it would help me (not to have to worry about something) and her (not to have such a controlling and anxious boyfriend). I've talked to her about my problem and she started crying at the thought of ending the relationship. She said we'll manage it together, however I'm not even sure that's possible.
I'm scared and I need help and advice.
TL;DR: | I'm bloody anxious about my relationship and need help (me [19 M] and her [16 F]). What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm not sure whether or not I should break up with my girlfriend or see how things go
POST: I M[17] have been dating this girl F[16] for just over a month. My previous experiences with females have all been in single nights at parties so this is the first girl I have ever actually dated so I have nothing to compare it to. I really like her and since this is my first relationship I would like to continue with it to see how it goes. However I get the feeling when I'm with her that she is not fully confident around me and holds back. She also lives 30 minutes from me so we have to arrange going out days before we do. Since dating we have only seen each other 4 times because she was away for the first 3 weeks so things our still quite new. Should I end things with her or are there things I should work on to try and improve our relationship?
TL;DR: | I'm not sure if I'm in a good relationship or if my girlfriend feels fully comfortable around me. But it's still quite early. Should I end it or see how things go? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23F] and my BF [23M] want to eventually move in together, but parents feel otherwise.
POST: Hey guys!
So here's the deal...I will be 24 in two months and my boyfriend is 23. We have been dating for almost a year now and we have talked about the idea of moving in together. Now, it wouldn't be for about another year (I just signed a lease with some roommates) but my parents are absolutely and 100 percent against even the thought of the matter. Like so against it that I feel it would affect our relationship with them. Family is a HUGE deal to the both of us, so them having any ill feelings of disapproval in this sense would be difficult for us.
The other factor is that I am the eldest of three kids, so I get the be the privileged one of having to go through these things with my parents first and not having someone else to soften the blow.
My mom has literally said, "you guys are adults and can make your own decisions, but if you guys live together before you're married, I will not be okay with it and will make sure you know that I am not okay with it.." Don't you just love when parents make you think you are an adult capable of making your own decisions, but then back fire with a snarky comment that reals back any sense of independence they just handed over to you?
The other thing is that I never thought I would live with a guy I was with unless I was married. (Go figure with my parents view on the matter, am I right?) So even the thought it kinda terrifying. But we always stay the night at each others house, and I really don't think my fear comes from not being ready for that step. I also feel like by the time it's is an option, I'll be busting at the seams to just live together anyways. I do think however, that the fear comes into factor with my relationship with my parents.
I just don't know how to even approach this situation, but I'd love to hear your guys thoughts on the matter and if any of you guys have gone through this yourselves?
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I are talking about the next step of moving in together, but my parents just may disown me in the process. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by trying to help a ghost kitten
POST: So it wasn't much of a fuck up other than the fact that I almost had a heart attack .....
So it happened around 4 in the afternoon.... I was doing the weekly cleaning of my mother's car and mine when I hear a mewing (is it mewing? ).... the sound was that of a kitten that was lost or possibly hungry and living in the middle of nowhere in Florida hearing a cat when I don't own one was very strange so I decided to investigate which I where my fuck up began....
So I follow the sound of what I think was kitten and I end up a couple feet from a semi trailer that my dad uses to store his work supplies when all of a sudden a large ass ninja snake slithered/jumped off the top of the trailer landing right in front of my feet scaring me half to death ..... my first thought sadly however was "wait... snakes don't meow" and of course my second thought was then " HOLY SHIT FLYING SNAKE"..... needless to say I ran my ass very quickly away
Normally I'm not afraid of snakes but ninja snakes can scare one so after I gathered my wits I went back outside to try and find this apparent kitten but there was no sign of it but I did encounter the ninja snake who just happened to thankfully be a rather adventurous indigo snake .....
Hope I wrote this well and you enjoyed it ... :P
TL;DR: | Tried to be a nice person and help a kitten but got attacked by a ninja snake .... never found the kitten -.- |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My married co-worker [32M] drunkenly messaged me last night and I [24F] feel really uncomfortable about it.
POST: Hi Reddit I need a quick bit of advice because I have to be at work at 9 and see this guy and figured there would be someone in a different time zone awake enough to give me some advice. (Using a throwaway because I don't want this on my main account).
I work with him and I would say we are friends at work but we don't talk outside of work and we have never talked on Facebook before. I woke up this morning to a bunch of Facebook messages that he sent last night when he was drunk. It's too much effort to type out everything because he wrote a lot. Basically, he starts talking about how he knows about me and Andy (who is another guy from work who I had a brief thing with), that I could do better than Andy and should pick a guy like him. Then asking me inappropriate questions and it's so weird and I feel so uncomfortable about the whole thing, especially because he is married.
At some point he did write *sorry, I'm really drunk* and I feel like he's probably really embarrassed about what he said. He hasn't sent any more messages this morning to apologize but I guess he might not be awake yet and is hungover. I don't know if I should reply to him or just wait until I see him in person? I'm not an awkward person or shy about talking to people but I am dreading seeing him. I really want to avoid him but I obviously can't do that. I should probably just to talk to him but it's going to be so awkward. Don't know what to do.
TL;DR: | a married co-worker sent me weird inappropriate messages last night when he was drunk. I feel so awkward about it and don't know what to say to him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm 35m and a married friend [33f] confessed that she has feelings for me last night
POST: We've been friends for awhile now and we're together with another friend on a weekly basis for music. Last night, we were out having fun and she got too drunk and confessed how she's had feelings for me for the last year. She begged me to make out with her, jumped in my arms, was inappropriate in front of some old friends of hers.
I'm not going to lie. She's GORGEOUS. She's fun, spunky, outgoing, and well-liked by most everyone. I've wondered what it might be like to be with her. She owns a successful business and things are going really well for her, except for her marriage.
I've been down this road before. A year ago, I stopped entertaining the advances of taken women. It had become a problem. I seem to attract more than my fair share of taken women and they can be really forward with me. I don't know what it is or why. I eventually ended up hurting a really good friend last year when I slept with his girlfriend and I couldn't do it anymore. I decided to stop. Done. Except they keep coming.
This month I learned that a woman I dated and had sex with was married. I hadn't realized. Now... as of last night, my friend is confessing these feelings. I want to tell her that if she thinks I'm important, then she'll have to separate from her husband (who's a neat guy!) and we'll talk about it again in 6 months. It's hard to keep my boundaries up knowing what I've done in the past and knowing that I've been weak to this sort of thing before.
TL;DR: | married friend confessed having feelings for me. I think she's awesome, but I'm not interested in being the catalyst for the breaking up of her marriage. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: How can my sister [36] get her verbally abusive husband [45] to talk normally?
POST: Dear Reddit,
This is a question on behalf of my sister. She is a successful woman who earns at least 5 times as much as her husband. Her husband, who she married 12 years ago, has two faces, one smart, alert, sensitive and very correct; one angry, and not open for any rational argument if he is in a fit. There are three kids involved: 11f, sensitive, frequently his source of anger. 8m, strong minded, creative boy. 5f, his little princess.
My sister works the most, but what needs to be done for the kids, like dressing them for school, breakfast, bringing them there, etc is mostly on my sisters shoulders.
Mr Hubby's angry moments are hard to predict. Example: my sister asked him to help in the morning. He took on this task as follows: he shouted at my sister that she needed to hurry up, she was running late. He calms down quickly after these things, and he's back to his friendly self again, as if it is settled and all okay again.
That's problem 1. Problem 2 is that whenever my sister picks a quiet moment to have a reasonable discussion, of tell him how he made her feel, he invariably explodes in anger. He cannot not see an argument as an attack. "Are you starting this again? You just ought to shut the fuck up."
Problem 3 is he explodes in front of the kids too, yelling at my sister she's "a fake mom". When the kids ask him to calm down, he shouts at my sister that she is setting the kids up against him.
So every counter argument is met with explosive anger.
There is no need to tell me she needs to divorce this person. I do agree. But even in a divorce there needs to need to be some level of reasonable conversation. Even in or after a divorce, you need some agreeability. Kids and finances ought to be discussed.
TL;DR: | my BiL gets angry whenever my sister tries to solve previous arguments. But how do you get an angry person to talk? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Reddit - I need help understanding wholesale airfares from travel agencies
POST: Firstly this is not about "wholesale airfares" from any website. When I say wholesale airfares I am talking about wholesale airfares purchased through a Travel Agency or Agent.
I work at a large company in NZ. We were recently told that we have a new staff benefit - access to wholesale international flights plus a small booking fee (<$50) from a reputable travel agency.
My husband and I are travelling to Europe next year so thought it would be a good opportunity to upgrade and travel Business Class. I received a quote for my wholesale flights. Found the flights on Expedia and I was saving $2,000 on all flights by using the wholesale option – for this I was comparing apples for apples - same flight numbers and all taxes included on both quotes.
I then did a general search of Expedia for Business class fares on the same route and it came back $2,000 cheaper than the cheapest wholesale flight combo.
I have never worked in the travel industry and don't know how any of this works and am quite confused now!
So Reddit I ask you this:
What costs and proportions of them go into making up an airfare?
How much less should a wholesale airfare be when purchasing through a travel agency or agent?
Have you ever used wholesale airfares (not the website) and what was your experience.
TL;DR: | Got a wholesale airfare quote from a travel agent that was more than Expedia - please help explain wholesale airfares to me! |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: It's time to leave Wells Fargo but I've never shopped around for a new checking/savings account before.
POST: I've had my current account for many years now. My parents set it all up and I don't know a damn thing about it. That's not good, I realize this. I'm trying to fix it.
What I do know is that I have zero perks with Wells Fargo. The only thing they do for me is move $1 from checking to savings every time I swipe my card. It's helped me save a little money but my monthly transfer from checking to savings is doing way more than the $1 swipe thing.
Some info that may or may not matter: I live in the San Francisco area. Right now, my paychecks get direct deposited into my checking account and all of my bills automatically pull from my checking. I rarely carry cash on me and use my checking account for everything. Savings account is where I save. I try not to pull any money out unless I absolutely need it. This means I need transfers from account to account to be quick.
TL;DR: | Any suggestions on where to take my banking? Possibly something that will give me some perks on using my card/checking since I do that all the time? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Does my potential boyfriend have psychological issues or am I being too sensitive?
POST: He's 37, I'm 40. I met a guy 2 years ago and we have never been more than friends. Recently he has expressed a romantic interest, however, I am hesitant as there have been instances in the past where I've questioned both my sanity and his.
It began when we were taking a course together and I had to enlist the help of local businesses for help, free of charge. I was able to gain cooperation from quite a few and the project was a success. His response was to call me a 'corporate whore,' and when I became defensive, he insisted he was 'just kidding.' I continued to argue that the term was offensive and he continued to defend it saying it was a common term and I didn't know him well enough. This argument went on for two days until I finally gave up.
Recently he has started calling me a bitch (and there was nothing that I know of that could have provoked the comment) and I asked him if something was wrong – if I had done something. He responded again that he was only joking and insinuated that there was something wrong with me as I had taken offense.
Several other incidents have left me perplexed such as being in a restaurant and him stating that the waitress 'hated me.' Again, there was nothing to provoke the comment. We were having a good time, good conversation.
I feel as if I am going crazy sometimes as he has proposed a relationship, buys me flowers, compliments me when other people are around but then makes insulting comments when others aren't present. Normally I would leave a situation like this, but I really like the guy. He is intelligent, funny and I love to spend time around him.
My question is, am I being oversensitive or is there some sort of psychological issue I am dealing with?
TL;DR: | I want to start a relationship with this guy, but I can't tell if he's joking with occasional insults or has some sort of psychological issue |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[21M] have feelings for my friend [19/F]. Unsure how to continue.
POST: I've known her for a few years, and just became actual friends in the past year and a half or so. Our first "significant" interaction took place at the fast food place she worked at, wherein she gave me a free drink. Later on she and two of her friends started hanging out at my buddies house, giving us an outlet to hang out casually. I noticed that it's usually very easy for me to make her laugh, and I don't mean just giggle, like full on uncontrollable, sustained laughter. We've drank together at a few parties/social gatherings, and nothing out of the ordinary really happens, which makes me think that she's not really interested in me as a dating partner, but I digress. Recently she tweeted me, about how she had heard a song at work that reminded her of me. It was 'I Try' by Macy Gray. I think I may have shown her my Macy Gray impression awhile ago, so I don't really think the lyrical content had much to with it. Anyway, I like her, and I'd like to make a move, even if it's not a traditional relationship that we get into, I'd still like to make my feelings known without seeming desperate.
TL;DR: | I like my friend, the signals she sends me a varied, but I'd like to explore my feelings for her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [20M] Not sure if I should keep talking and putting in effort for her [20F]
POST: I originally posted this to r/askwomenadvice but I feel like I should get a wider range of responses from different people as well.
Well, I like this girl. We text back and fourth, but she replies really slowly. Sometimes it takes her an entire day to get back to me or usually a few hours. Based on these response times, she probably doesn't like me back. I'm probably jumping to conclusions and being really negative about things, but I'm really just tired of being disappointed, wasting my time and giving more effort into things than I'm receiving.
This has happened with basically all the girls that I've talked to. Sure, I may also be approaching this wrong and I should actually be looking to make friends with girls and not chase after girls that I'm potentially interested in, but it sucks. I always start the conversations. I always try to continue the conversation. I don't usually get anything in return.
Should I just let this one go, as well? Even though this girl actually does put effort into continuing and initiating conversations, her response time is just really slow and I'm fairly certain this probably won't go anywhere between me and her. I'm just too used to this type of behavior now. Help please?
TL;DR: | Girl I like responds slow to texts, not sure if I should continue trying to talk to her or if I'm wasting my time |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My husband (24M) and I (23F) can't settle our differences regarding secondhand clothes.
POST: We've been married a year, dating 6 years, and are trying for a child. A bit of background. I come from an Indian immigrant family and my parents made a combined 500k annually. We lived a privileged life, they never budgeted much and I went to college on their dime. However, after college I haven't received any money from them and I feel I understand the value of money via work and also being with my husband. He comes from a big catholic family (6 kids, SAHM, dad made maybe 75k annually). Not poor, but he received a lot of financial aid for college.
For the most part we go by a strict budget. We both have stable jobs and enough money to live comfortably. Now that we're trying for a child, my husband has been scouring garage sales looking for baby things.
In my culture, you don't buy secondhand clothes unless you're destitute. I know it's not that way in the US, thrifting is even trendy here, but we have the money to buy our baby new things. Why would we get used onesies for a quarter? My husband never received new clothes and his whole wardrobe is secondhand except for things I've gotten him.
Should I bend on this? It makes me very uneasy to buy used items for our child. If these were hand me downs from family I would understand, but otherwise this feels super weird. Advice?
TL;DR: | Husband wants our child in all secondhand clothes. I was brought up never wearing secondhand clothes so this feels weird to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Need some advice Reddit
POST: I think I have developed some sort of insecurity. I did so many stupid shit when I got drunk at college parties and neglected my studies. All of the stress compounded and I started a pattern of negative thinking. The pattern of negative thinking led me to lose some of my confidence talking with people (esp girls) and made me somewhat insecure. Its really strange. If someone criticizes me then I'll start to take it personally. Usually, I'll brush it off but my feelings actually get hurt like wtf. Not to mention, I started to get really self-conscious because of my drunk actions in the past. I'm acting like everyone saw me be a obnoxious retard because I don't really remember what happened. It is just bizarre and I feel like people can sense my insecurity so they judge me as strange/weird. Normally, I don't give a fuck but I do care because I don't want my insecurities/self-conscious/low-confidence to define my life.
I am improving my grades and I am doing internships and I stopped getting stupid drunk for the most part but I really want to fix this!
TL;DR: | Stupid drunk mistakes and low grades led me to lose confidence, become self-conscious and insecure and get butthurt from criticism |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I need to tell my SO some devastating news. I would like to know would you rather hear the news straight away over the phone, or in a few weeks face to face when you are home from work?
POST: I[F, 23] cheated on my SO [M, 23] of 12 months. We have never had a bump in the road and love each other very much.
I'm an awful person and I deeply regret it (I know how blunt I'm putting it is taking the emotion out of it and possibly making it seem insincere, but its the easiest way for me to explain).
I am more than deserving if it is over as a result. I deserve the worst, whatever the reaction may actually be. I do not want the relationship to end, and have no idea why I slept with this other person. My SO deserves to know the truth. If it ends then it is simply on my head. At this point I feel like I simply deserve to be alone and lonely the rest of my life.
My question is, out of:
1) hearing this over the phone (within a few days of it happening) while away for work, or
2) having it happened a few weeks before you found out, but being told face to face once you were home
which would you prefer?
I'm struggling with coming to terms with what I've done and I'm not sure what the better option is, strictly for my SO.
TL;DR: | I cheated, but my SO won't be home from work for a few weeks. When do I confess? Over the phone or face to face? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [24M] I don't think it's going to work with my girlfriend [24F] but she's unstable and I still care about her
POST: I was really lonely at the time I started a relationship with my girlfriend, so I managed to overlook some of her personality traits that straight up make us incompatible.
Still, I've come to care about her well-being and she's going through a very difficult time in her life. She's really emotionally unstable at the moment and she seems to feel like my presence in her life keeps things from getting any worse. I'm pretty sure that this is true, and that she will get better over the coming weeks/months.
However, the longer we stay in a relationship, the harder it's going to be to break it off. And it will need to be broken off - there are parts of our personalities that just will not go together. Frankly, I'm not attracted to her at all.
How should I go about breaking up this relationship while still being supportive and there for her? More importantly, how do I do this without making her spin out of control (she's on antipsychotics right now, nothing super serious but enough to make me concerned)? Should I wait until she's in a more emotionally healthy state, in spite of how much harder it will be as a result of time passing?
TL;DR: | ? Girlfriend is unstable, I'm worried breaking up our relationship will send her off the deep end. Need to know how/when to break it off in the best way possible. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (19M) current ex (18F) slept with another guy while we were apart and we might get back together.
POST: Long story short, she went away for college and we had some issues keeping a long distance relationship together. We spilt for the past couple weeks and now we're talking again and might try to get things back together because the differences we had have simmered down.
However, I had always had this creeping suspicion that a lot of why she had trouble in the relationship was because she was interested in other people. She asked me whether I thought sex was just a physical thing or a more emotional thing, and I told her I thought it was emotional. Anyway, I pressured her into telling me that she slept with another guy while we were apart.
At first thought I figured she did it to spite me, and I told her that and she said it had nothing to do with me just that "she was lonely and he was there". As far as I know it was just some guy she barely knew, essentially a one night stand. I would guess she was drunk and partying and it just happened. I don't know the details right now.
I'm not sure whether I should be upset about this or not, or what I should say about it altogether. She was upset when I pressured her about talking about it before, and I don't want to make her mad again. For me, sex is more of a connection on an emotional level, but she's made it abundantly clear it's just a physical thing for her.
So technically she didn't cheat on me while we were together, she waited until right after we split up to get with another guy.
Anyway, I plan to basically say that:
A) I feel like what she did was relatively disrespectful to me.
B) I feel like what she did was unsavory.
C) I'm overall pretty upset that she made the decision to do that.
But despite those things I think I need to just acknowledge that it happened and let it go (for the most part).
TL;DR: | How should I feel about my gf sleeping with someone else while we were apart, provided that we may be getting back together? Does it depend on circumstance? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [31 F] have been with my [28M] boyfriend for about 6 months, and I've got emotional intimacy issues
POST: After years of different relationships with emotionally unavailable men, I've finally found The One - he is present, loving, ambitious, giving, motivated to take care of the relationship, deeply committed to making a success of us...everything I've said I ever wanted!
The problem is, over the years I've developed any number of self-protecting habits that are now preventing me from fully engaging in this relationship. I'm now the emotionally unavailable one! For years I envisioned this kind of relationship, and this kind of guy, but now that I have it, I don't know how to exist within it.
I find myself defaulting to old behaviours like being withdrawn and distant, easily irritated by inconsequential things, not initiating sex, generally being passive, coasting along and resisting him loving me. I don't want to continue along this path because I'm seeing this guy as a gift from the universe and I really want to honour this precious thing I have.
I guess my question is, can anyone recommend intimacy exercises I can try to break down my walls? I sincerely want to give my guy 100% but my default setting is self-protection. What are some actionable steps I can take to make myself more vulnerable and create emotional intimacy between us?
TL;DR: | I've been in so many sucky relationships for so long, I have no idea what to do now that the perfect one has come along. Halp! |
SUBREDDIT: r/needadvice
TITLE: Damn son(Best friend), you fucked up. Need advice.
POST: 3 years ago some friends and myself went to a concert in Berlin. my friend and i payed for everything for this 1 guy, including food... hotel stay... Concert... everything.
He did not get to the concert since he was a lazy fuck and we border jumped with him, because he was too fucking lazy to get a passport.. which we even offered to pay for aswell.
When we came back i saw him sitting on the laptop texting with my GF.. i was running through their convo and she firmly rejected him.. but he tried multiple times to tell her that he had been into her for a long time... get her to go on cam with him even though it was late and she was going to bed... etc, etc.
now 3 years after.. he is still scared of talking to me or any form of confrontation what so ever.. because i kind of went full rage mode, i did not smash his face in, since he was such a good friend and i really could not believe what had just happened.. so i told him that if i ever saw him looking at my girl again, i would rip his face off.
We can't be in the same room and all the parties our friends are throwing are getting split the fuck up.. which is sad because it only happens once or twice a year, because we all moved away.
he can't even talk when i am on skype with my friends and he is there, then he is whispering in the background... tried throwing a party without telling him i was coming, and he just left 20 minutes after showing up.
TL;DR: | he was almost a best friend, he tried to make a move on my girl. splitting up our tight circle of friends.. WAT DO!!?? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I'm assuming this guy [21M] isn't worth it... right? [21F]
POST: So, this guy was very sweet to me. He did karokee when he didn't want to and even though we hooked up he initiated cuddling and spooning me. All my friends said he was interested in me. His friend even came up to us at the bar and said we looked good together..
The bad things are.. last night he was all over my friends (hands on). Not grabbing their butts and stuff, but still hands on. He seems to like me (he's bought me shots and talks to me), but he's not at all hands on with me really.
I'm also pretty sure he was jealous when I started talking to other guys. He must have been watching me talk/flirt/kinda get touchy with this group of guys. He said "I saw you all over those guys".
Then I waved to a guy I knew, and he said something like "Oh. you only know him cuz you did stuff with him" with a smile on his face... (i didn't do anything by the way)
So, I'm assuming he is kind of a loser and I should move on, right? I'm too willing to give out second chances..
TL;DR: | Guy was all hands on with my friends (not sexually) and then got what seemed to be really jealous when i kind of flirted with other guys. |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Buying the house I am renting. What should I do to it to prepare it to be rented in 9 months when I move?
POST: The house I am renting is not my dream home, but the owner needs money fast. She put it on the market for 80, but I didnt like the idea of people viewing my home while I was at work. I offered 64,500(the last sale price 5 years ago) and she came back with 68,500. So I accepted.
I am just curious where is it smart to put money and where it is dumb. I know I want to do paint and replace all the carpets(living area changing to "hard wood"). I have to buy a dishwasher because the one we have currently is shit also.
ANY advice to a first time home buyer would be GREATLY appreciated.
ANY advice to a first time land lord would be GREATLY appreciated.
TL;DR: | I a house to rent that I will live in for the next 9 months, Where do i put money into it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/jobs
TITLE: Today, I interview with a hotel in the next state as a housekeeper. Their minimum wage is less than the state I'm in. I have two college degrees and I'm trying not to let it get me down. Please help!
POST: I know this job isn't a sure thing, as I've had interviews before and still not gotten a job. My post-college work search has been poor as all of the companies to which I've applied have gone "in a different direction." I am just discouraged and feel like a failure. I graduated five years ago and I haven't found any work because I live in a college town area that isn't great for my field (broadcasting).
I can do this job, but I don't know if I want it. I'm frustrated that my job search has gone on this long without anything coming my way. And now I can go be a housekeeper. With two college degrees that haven't gotten me anywhere.
Am I freaking out too much about an interview I haven't even had yet (T minus one hour, thirty nine minutes)? If I take the job, will it make me a weaker candidate when I apply elsewhere? If I don't get the job, am I a complete failure? Does it matter if I'm a complete failure if I *don't land a job as a hotel housekeeper?*
TL;DR: | I'm interviewing as a housekeeper with a hotel. I have two college degrees. Where did I mess up in life? How do I undo it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Did I (M/22) blow it? Should I text her?
POST: Dating advice, not really relationship but oh well. The background, I just got a new job. At my first night on the job I had a fellow coworker who was quiting come in and I ended up introducing myself. Long story short, I got her number and began texting the same day and we texted for about a week straight. Great conversation, talked about how she was glad to meet me, she would love to get to know me more and just giving me signs here and there.
This is where I guess I messed up. My co workers all went out to dinner for this girl I'd been talking to and another girl who left. She invited me and I was totally up for going. But the night before I worked and talked to one of the only people I actually know from work and she made me feel unwelcomed to the dinner and said I wouldn't know anyone and there won't be any guys so it would be to awkward. So I decided not to go... The girl I'm interested in texted me the night of and gave me the details again and I let her know someone told me I shouldn't go and I didn't feel welcome. Right then her demeanor changed and she said "That's awfully weird. Well I hope you have a good night". I texted her the next day about an inside joke we had, she replied once and that was it. When I went to work it was the topic of the day of "who told me not to go" and I was told the girl seemed really bummed I didn't go. I haven't talked to her since and it really bums me the fuck out. Should I text her? I don't want to come off desperate and because she already snubbed me twice by not replying. Help a brotha out, what should I do?
TL;DR: | I made a bad decision that I believe led to a girl I'm interested in to become distant. Should I just give it up or text her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: New car loan
POST: Ok so here is the deal went car shopping and ended up settling for a 2014 hyndai Veloster woth 14 miles on it. And the worked me out a deal on a payment that i thought my wife would be ok with even tho it was higher then what we talked about. Problem is the wife is not okay with it. On the contract she is listed as the buyer and i am listed as the co-signer. I signed my portion of all the paper work still owe the dealership POI and the check for the down payment and my wife still needed to sign. Wife wont sign the the paper work. So basically i cant really afford the payments anyway. I went back today and the dealer basically said i can show you something else but i cant unwind this deal and i can get finacing to go through with out her signature.
TL;DR: | signed as a co-signer in a new car wife (buyer listed first on loan app) said hell no she wont sign. Dealer says he cant unwind the deal. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [25M] with my friend's sister [24F], she texts me drunk last night saying she really likes me and she asked why I haven't asked her out yet. So I set up a date, she agrees and this morning she says to ignore it all because she's drunk. What do I do...?
POST: So my friend has a sister who I get along with pretty well and she often comes out when we all go out. Our mutual friends have been jokingly trying to get us together/hook us up whatever and I've always brushed it off because I asked them seriously one time if she did like me and they said no. I'm not sure how I feel about her....or towards her.
So last night, she texted me if I was going out and I said no, I feel like staying in. Usually I go out a lot. Well we texted each other throughout the night bc I was bored and she at the end of the night, she got really drunk and told me she really likes me. She wants me to take her out to dinner or lunch and why haven't I asked her out. She claimed she was sobering up since she had to drive later.
So I called her and she texted me if she could call me later. I told her "I think we should talk sober. I'll take you out somewhere if you're free" and she says shes free Saturday so I suggest a time & place as a first date and she says ok.
Then this morning she tells me to ignore it all and taht she was very drunk. So....I decide to change the date to a more "casual" place and she agrees. What do I do? Does she actually like me?
TL;DR: | Girl texts me drunk she really likes me and was insistent last night about it. This morning she texts me sober saying to ignore it all bc she was super drunk, but she would still be open to hanging out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I abhor my sister, how do I get over this?
POST: I'm 21 (F), she's 18. I know that part of the reason why I hate her is because of my own insecurity:
Growing up, as the older sister, I was the better daughter, the one who got better grade, the one who got to a better college, the one who treat people better. On the other hand, she was always hanging out with pot heads and troublemakers, she didn't do well in school, she always disrespect my parents even though they've done nothing but help her, she also has an incredibly short temper who would yell and curse at anybody who tries to confront her. The only good thing about her is that she's ridiculously good looking?
Now, I know that I have my flaws and she has other good qualities, and I'm not trying to make me look like a saint and her a devil, but I'm just so upset that so many guys are so blind by her look that they can't see that she's so...fake? She photoshops all of her pictures to make her look like a model and it sickens me to consider myself inferior to such a person. I'm not ugly, I treat people well, I have a good education, I surround myself with nice, smart people, then why do I feel so threatened by her? If she wasn't my sister, I wouldn't care at all. How do I get over this?
TL;DR: | I hate my ridiculously good looking sister, whom *I* consider to be a fake and cruel person. Yet I feel threatened and jealous by her. How do I get over this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How do I Christmas shop for my dad! He got me some really awesome gifts this year and I'd love to be able to return the favor. Especially after all he has been through.
POST: So a little background info. My parents split 4 years ago and my dad (who'se struggling with alcoholism) got kicked out of the house. I'm basically the only family member who still maintains a relationship with him and I feel sorry for how lonely he is. He has a girlfriend who he lives with but he's not very happy. I'm the only person in his life who can make his day by simply giving him a phone call. I've always had such a great relationship with him my whole life; he's been my coach for every sport and he is my hero. Today I got breakfast with him and he gave me some christmas presents since I will not see him on christmas eve/day. He got me a nice old school shaving kit and a really nice pipe.. A lot of thought went into these gifts and I know for a fact he spent much more money than he has. The card he wrote to was straight from the heart and I really appreciate what he got me. So, is there any way I can wow him and give him a really great present this Christmas? I don't have much money and my mom already supports me and my sister so I can't borrow any from her cause we are sort of broke. Hopefully I can come up with like $30-$50. I plan on writing him a really good letter to go along with it to let him know how much he still means to me, cause sometimes I feel like he thinks that he has let me down the past few years :( He likes sports, and we golf together a lot in the summer, other than that he doesn't have many hobbies. It'd be great to hear some unique gift ideas that aren't just necessarily a material object, maybe something more sentimental? Any thoughts are appreciated :)
TL;DR: | Best dad ever bought me really great gifts for xmas which he couldn't even afford; would like to return the favor to let him know how much I love him still. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by unsuccessfully ending the quest for the missing keycaps.
POST: Background: I own an Apple Extended Keyboard 2 M0312, circa 1991, cream Alps mechanical switches, in perfect condition, perfectly gray without any yellowing and was never restored.
Anyways, I was washing those keycaps in my kitchen sink by hand, and I didnt have the plug that kept anything but liquids from going down the drain. I washed the keycaps individually one at a time, but I got lazy at the end and decided to wash 5 at a time when…
**FUCK!**
3 of them drop down the drain.
I called the apartment building's plumbers up, hoping all 3 were waiting for me in the P-trap. The guy came in 5 minutes and opened it up… when suddenly…
**THERE WAS ONLY ONE KEYCAP IN THE P-TRAP AND THE REST FLOWED PAST IT.**
I took that one out and he was about to leave, but I insisted that he take apart the rest of the plumbing in my unit. After about 2 hours, nothing was found. The keycaps were on their way to the Vancouver City's sewage plant, where they'll end up being separated and thrown into a pile of plastic that will be melted and recycled.
Those were perfect keycaps, with original gray color, and has never met Retr0bright.
Anyways I decided to pay the plumber who normally does everything for free an extra $10 to be sorry for wasting his time and saw him leave.
Then I retreated to the couch, picked up the Macbook, and now I'm here.
TL;DR: | I dropped 3 perfect vintage keycaps down the drain while washing 5 of them, recovered one dropped keycap, and the other two have been flushed away on their journey to become recycled plastic. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Confident [26 M] has found himself completely head over heels for a girl - need advice!
POST: Sorry in advance if this is a long post, but I could really use some advice! As the title states, I consider myself a very confident 26 year old guy who has never had issues with meeting women. For the past few years, I've been single (besides a 5 mo stretch) and have been perfectly happy with the random hookups and FWBs (though those haven't always ended well). I'm open to relationships, but just haven't met the right person.
Anyway, two weekends ago I met a girl out at the bar and have since fallen completely head over heels for her. We hit it off immediately, flirted for a couple hours, exchanged numbers and agreed to do something that week. We met up this past Friday after work and it couldn't have gone better. Had drinks, ended up getting dinner, and went to a bar afterwards. I walked her home, we made out outside, but she said she wanted to take things slow. Perfectly okay with me - I would never rush someone. We texted on Saturday and met up later that night after dinner. Again, it went amazingly. I walked her home, we kissed goodnight a few times and I flagged a cab smiling ear to ear.
Now, it's about 36 hours later and I haven't stopped thinking about her. I've never never met someone who makes me feel this strongly. We haven't talked since Saturday night as neither of us are big texters. I would normally send a text saying how great of a time I had, but had already done that on Fri so didn't think it was necessary. I was thinking about calling her tomorrow after work to see if she was up for getting dinner later this week (something we discussed on Fri and Sat).
She's funny, extremely smart, gorgeous, and I really love that she wants to take things slowly. I need advice for how to keep my calm and avoid coming off too aggressively. I want to text/call and see her everyday, but know that that isn't a good idea. Thanks in advance!
TL;DR: | Finally have strong feelings for a girl and don't know how to keep my cool! Need a place to discuss/express how I feel. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24M] with my SO [21F] dating for 2 weeks flirted for 2 months, im dating this amazing girl but im hitting some roadblocks.
POST: So to start of we have dated for 2 weeks but got to know each other from class for 3 months. I really like this girl but she has some things ive never seen before in a relationship, she doesnt like to hold hands a lot and hugs she says its going too fast but we have had intimacy, everything except sex so i dont understand that. She says she likes guys that keep her on the edge, she doesnt like wimpy guys. That drives me crazy cause im a very detailed guy with girls, i like telling them how much i care about them asking them how they feel overall i like conecting deeply with the person and so im always asking this types of questions but she doesnt like it because it looks like im insecure.
A part of me wants to keep going and see what happenes and its mostly because she is plainly said the hottest girl ive been with and another part of me is scared she is going to change me for the worse, i like being detailed and girls loved it.
TL;DR: | dating hot girl, she loves intimacy but not holding hands and shows of afection. Says im wimpy for being that way, how do i go about it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (25/F) not sure if I should tell my BF (26/M) that I dated a woman in the past
POST: I have been dating my boyfriend almost 2 years. He is a wonderful guy. There is potential for a life long relationship here. I know he feels the same.
Both of us sort of have this unofficial agreement that we do not talk about our ex's or past relationships. I know he has been hurt in the past, but there is no need to talk specifics about ex's. I don't need to know names, age, etc. It's just not necessary.
He has no idea that I dated a girl for 2 years in college. My family and my close friends know, but I was never one to parade that relationship around. I was uncomfortable with everyone knowing about her. That is probably what lead to the breakup and then I started dating men again. Just to be clear, she was the only girl I dated.
I am worried that one of my friends will eventually let it slip out and he is going to be completely taken back by it. He comes from a conservative, religious family. Please don't misunderstand. He is not homophobic. I have a bunch of gay friends (men and women) that he likes and hangs out with.
I feel like I am hiding this from him, but worry he won't take this news well if I tell him. On the other hand, we NEVER talk about ex's so there is really no point in bringing it up.
Looking for any advice.
TL;DR: | I dated a girl. I do not consider myself at all bi-sexual anymore. Should I tell my boyfriend about my past? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: In an open relationship with GF [21] who recently went to a sex club, and loved it, I [20] am feeling crushed.
POST: My GF and I are in an open relationship of 1.2 years, I am fine with her sleeping with another guy once a month or so, and preferably someone I know or can track on facebook, get their number from my GF. I also sleep with other women, but not much at all and we have strict rules of always telling one another.
My GF went to a high class sex club and ended up fucking 3 guys, blowjobs, handjobs and penetration vaginally. She loved it and wants to go back more often. I feel absolutely crushed, my masculinity hurts, I feel like I'm not good enough, and my value is dropped. I cant protect her from the people at these places if they decided to kidnap her, but when I tell her I want to protect her, she feels insulted that I would consider her dumb enough to get caught or need "protecting".
I've told her I would like to come to these events when she wants to go (this costs me about $120 each time) but only when she goes so I can grasp some peace of mind. She does not like this idea and calls me trust of her into question.
I dont know what to do, is it acceptable to let her go back to these places often and take 3,4,5 or however many cocks in one night while I'm not around to protect her if something goes wrong.
She's already been given a card from one of the guys indicating his mansion is available. I feel sick about this, but she told me that she wont be going to it.
She got home by getting a lift from one of the guys there, I was filled with fear when she told me this. What if they decided to take her?
What do I do? It's killing me.
TL;DR: | Gf loves going to a sex club, getting lots of dickings, cant see why I'm upset at her want to constantly go back even without me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: GF (23) lives in the UK and I (27) live in the US, how would I go about moving to the UK?
POST: We have been dating for 2 years now and usually when I have enough money saved up I would visit her or she would come visit me (which is about every 3-5 months). Recently we decided to see if it was possible for me to move to the UK.
I think it would be pretty simple except she is still in University for another year. I have done a little research and read I would need to have $22,000 saved up which is pretty much impossible unless I stop visiting. Even then it would take quite a while.
This all came up due to my recent visit. We went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant and the manager found out I was a Sushi Chef. He was really excited and wanted to offer me a job since there is a lack of chefs in the area but I declined saying I live in the US.
Now I am more motivated then ever to try to move there knowing I wont have trouble finding a job if I do.
TL;DR: | GF is a uni student and I want to figure out a way to move to the UK. I am positive I will be able to support myself and not go homeless but do not have $22k saved up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Reconnected but unsure about the future. Advice or similar experiences?
POST: My ex-partner (24m) and I (25f) broke up 4 months ago after 6.5 years together. I thought we had become too different and that he no longer really loved me anymore, that the relationship had become hollow. I made the terrible mistake of rebounding with a friend afterward and have now ceased contact with that person. My ex-partner has been living overseas and during that time seems to have changed radically. He was very depressed and angry before we broke up and there was a lot if inequality in our relationship but he seems to have worked hard to lift himself out of that state. He has become the person I originally fell in love with. So we have managed to reconnect since his return. He is going back overseas in a few weeks and I will be meeting up with him there during my own travels. After that we will be apart for a while.
We are not back together in any official capacity. He is a free man and doesn't owe me any kind of fidelity. I don't feel that he should either. I hurt him terribly and genuinely believe he should be able to enjoy new experiences. I honestly just want him to be happy and believe that both of us need the freedom to grow individually.
But I can't help but wonder about the future. Is there anyway to really ever come back from something like this? We both love each other and he has been amazingly forgiving. But obviously there are some trust issues. And even if we fully learn to trust each other again our families/friends are much less forgiving. Any advice?
TL;DR: | reconnected with ex-partner but wonder if we stand any hope of lasting in the future. Families and friends are wary of each other. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: At first we used to just hang out then he kissed me bit he has a GF. ( 22 yrs F )
POST: We used to be good friends in highschool , he has a gf ( 2 yrs relationship). 2 months ago he texted me and asked me to hang out . Since that we chat everyday . One night we were out and he kissed me and I asked him about his gf and said its almost over ,he doesnt feel anything for her anymore and he is planning to break up but he cant find a reason to . So i waited 2 more weeks ( we kept hanging out and had some serious makeout sesions but nothing more) . Then I asked him again and he said its hard because he doesnt want to hurt her , even though he is not happy with her, also he feels guilty for doing this to her.so i suggested him to stop seeing each other until he figures out what he wants , we can talk to each other but better keep distance . So now its been 3 days and he didnt even text me . I am getting worried because he seemed to want me for more than just physical attraction ( we had a crush on each other in highschool).I just don't know if i should belive him or he just played with my mind. I feel like he doesnt want me enough to make him break up with her and I'm the one getting hurt and confused . Also I know he shouldnt breakup with her for me , he should do it for himself .I just need some advices ....
TL;DR: | he cheated on his gf with me its been a month but he didnt breakup with her even though he said he doesnt feel anything for her. How long should i wait ? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [29 M] dating a [31 F] who is in another relationship of 5 years.
POST: Hi, throwaway here as a first time poster!
A few months ago I met this woman by chance and we really hit it off - started dating regularly shortly after. The catch is she was in a long distance relationship for five years already.
Before I get flamed by readers, I need to clarify that I was unaware of her relationship status when we first met. As I grew more emotionally attached to her, I found it increasingly difficult to put this issue aside. I made it clear I don't want to be that douche who destroys relationships, but frankly I can't understand why she/her bf continues to cling on. I also told her I will not push her to make a decision, though periodically I get irritated even though she is very attentive to me.
As my 30th birthday is coming up, I'd like to think I've grown a little wiser on my 3rd decade on Earth. I don't want to waste anymore time, but I am also insecure because my previous relationships hardly ever end well, and I care enough about this girl to not want events to turn out terrible if possible.
Am I in the wrong? Should I stop seeing her? Appreciate your advice Reddit!
TL;DR: | I fell for a women in a long distance relationship with her bf for 5 years already. She claims to like me but I can't ignore the issue. Wonder if I should stop seeing her. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I (M22) am not sure what to do as F(21) wants to break up with me because she thinks I'm going nowhere.
POST: I am completely in love with this girl. We have only been dating a few months, but she is literally everything to me after a hurtful past.
I work (full time) in the family business, I get paid well, I have a few debts and a nice car. I never went to Uni and I got ok grades, but I know what I am, I am a business man, I do business and make deals, I don't want to sit behind a desk or work for the man all my life. I intend to run the family business some day (I don't know when). I have run up some debt, and she thinks ill never pay this off, and she thinks ill never go anywhere because I haven't got a 'plan'.
She became very distant and I can tell it will lead to a break up, because she is very out of my league, and I can imagine some rich arsehole with money snatching her up, she has done her uni, and she has a 'plan', she wants a house and she wants to move out.
As much as I want all that, its just not realistic in my current situation, She thinks I'm going nowhere as I don't have a plan. Not sure many people my age do? People of reddit, is there a way I can save this to avoid going back to my dark place? Should I have a plan?
TL;DR: | I work a lot of hours, don't have a lot to show, girlfriend wants what I cant provide and wants to leave me because I don't have a 'plan',. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Boyfriend [18/M] doesn't understand that I [18/F] don't feel comfortable kissing in front of his friends? Who is in the wrong?
POST: I've been dating my boyfriend Josh for almost a year and everything is great except I never really got along with his best friend, Jake (21) which made having a relationship with his other friends impossible as they were very biased because Jake was their friend first... And I was kind of like an intruder.
Josh did the best he could to balance hanging out with his friends and me but he ended up being with me a lot more which made his friends kind of dislike me even more...
Finally, I tried to be the bigger girl here and talk with Jake and put our differences aside and it worked!! So then I started speaking way more with other people on my boyfriends circle of friends and he even started going out with him more. I thought everything was perfect.
Until last night, we all went to a pub to talk and watch the game. It was my first time hanging out with them so I was really nervous.
Everytime my boyfriend would kiss me, I don't know why but I felt like they were all staring and it made me really uncomfortable. So next, everytime he would try to kiss me, I'd give him my cheek instead and one of his friends saw this and chuckled.
My boyfriend asked me later on in the night what was up and I told him I didn't feel comfortable kissing him around his friends. He looked hurt but stopped engaging.
Later, when I was at home, he called me and asked me if I didn't love him anymore. I was confused and then hr started rambling about how I changed my behavior towards him when I was with them and that it was weird and he felt humilliated because to him I was acting like we weren't even dating.
I am very hurt because I feel like he is dismissing my feelings. I don't think I should even pursue this relationship with his friends anymore... I just wanted for everyone to get along but It's like he doesn't see that I'm doing it for him. What should I do, reddit? Am I in the wrong?
TL;DR: | Was meeting my boyfriend friends for the first time and didn't feel comfortable kissing him in front of them. Boyfriend got mad at me and I think I should give up on trying to have a relationship with his friends. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My boyfriend's parents (mid-50's) dislike me (22) because of my financial status. How can I win them over?
POST: I come from a lower-middle/working class family and in order to go to college had to take out student loans, leaving me in quite a bit of debt. I have a good job now that pays a decent amount and has a lot of room for growth, but right now it's not enough to pay my loans.
My boyfriend (also 22) comes from an upper-middle class family. His parents paid for his college and he also has a trust fund and sizable inheritance. He also works in an industry that pays four times what mine does.
At the moment my boyfriend is helping me pay off my student loans with the agreement that I will pay him back once I'm making more money. Or, if we were to get married (definite possibility), we would combine our incomes and it wouldn't matter.
His parents do not like the fact that I have so much debt. They think I am financially unstable and will suck my boyfriend dry. I won't lie, the fact that he is able to help me financially is a big plus, but I love him regardless of money and if we were to marry we would work together regarding finances. With our incomes combined we would be able to pay off my loans and live a decent, middle-class lifestyle.
However, I'm still not what his parents wanted for him. They want him to marry a girl who comes from a wealthier family and even though they like me as a person they can't get over the fact that I'm not what they wanted. Because of this my relationship with his parents is rocky and my boyfriend always gets an earful about my debt. Is there any good way to fix this?
TL;DR: | Boyfriend's parents want him to marry a wealthy girl, I'm a poor girl, they dislike me because of this, what do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me, M/26, just broke up (again) with my girlfriend (31) of 8 months and I think the only reason is my perfectionism.
POST: I struggle a lot with perfectionism in school work, but recently I've noticed a trend with my relationships.
All of my five most recent relationships (average length: six months) have been ended by me and, in retrospect, they all seemed like bullshit reasons.
Just last night I ended things for the second time with the sweetest girl. I really liked her but there were some things that made me unable to see a future together with her. Some small things she did or said. I seem to have this image painted up and every time she did something that didn't match with the painted image, I would think "I can't do this - not with her".
And now 12h later I on one hand feel like complete shit because she hade done nothing wrong and I broke it up because of how I judged her and rated her against my (what seems to be) arbitrary scale. I enjoyed spending time with her and she made me happy.
At the same time a small fraction of me is relieved because now I can chase the thing I'm looking for; perfection.
I've lost touch with what is important for relationships *in general* and what is importang *for me*. I'm crying because I think I've made a mistake. I want to go back and tell her I'm sorry, make amends and continue where we left off. But I'm also afraid that this is just a reaction because the wounds are fresh and that the feeling will subside eventually.
TL;DR: | My perfectionism is killing me. I don't know anymore what I should expect from a relationship, what *really matters* in a relationship. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [25 M] friend [22 F] blocked me on Facebook. Not sure how to interpret
POST: I've known this friend for about two years. We see each other regularly at least once a week at a fairly casual and relaxed gathering of people. I don't talk to her all the time through Facebook, but we have chatted on it a fair amount throughout the two years we've known one another.
About two weeks ago, I sent her a message on Facebook just saying hi. I didn't get any response even though it said she saw it, figured she was busy and thought nothing of it. Two days after I sent it, I sent her another one just saying "Hey, how are you?" no response at all that day or evening, or the morning of the following day, though she had seen it. The afternoon of that day, I log onto Facebook and check the other messages I had, and noticed the seen symbol was different on hers, as though it was only sent, and not seen.
I decided to look at the message just to see what's up. Find out my friend's name is no longer clickable and can't go to her profile page. I thought that was weird, so I searched for her, and couldn't find her there either. On Facebook mobile in the messages she had sent me previously she just shows up as "Facebook User". Considering this is all the signs of being blocked on Facebook, I don't really know what's going on in that sense. Another friend of mine has said there is an occasional glitch where people get blocked randomly without the person clicking "block", but I don't know how true that is.
However, just last week when I saw her, she seemed happy to see me, talked to me as if everything was normal, asked me how my week has been, and just regular friendly stuff. So I have no idea how to interpret this Facebook blocking thing. Is it possible it's actually a glitch? Should I ask her about it? And if so, I don't even know how to say it without it seeming confrontational.
TL;DR: | It appears my friend blocked me on Facebook, not sure if it's a glitch with Facebook. How do I interpret this situation/ask about it without coming off as confrontational? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Are my friends giving me the right advice on how to date?
POST: So I'm a early 20s guy, I've partied and hooked up a decent amount but I've never really dated or had a girlfriend before.
The advice I'm looking to vet is, that dating is all pretty much implicit. Asking a girl to dinner is not necessarily asking her on a date; the "datiness" of it is all contextual. Being explicit in general is not good, rather you want to aim for comfort and connection and that's harder if you do the inherently awkward thing of calling it a date.
You'll know when you're both having a good time and the meal goes for an hour and a half, or two hours, right?
Or am I wrong, and I should be more explicit?
Honestly the only time dating has worked for me is when I tried it this way, invited a girl to a party later, and hooked up there. But outside the alcohol/party scene I don't really know what I'm doing.
TL;DR: | Hey let's go on a date" versus "Hey, let's get lunch :)", pros and cons, ambiguities and natures of both. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I quit my job today. What do I do now?
POST: Earlier today, I quit my job. I've been contemplating doing so for over a year, but I never followed through until now. A little background on why I did this; I was/am suffering from depression. I had moved to a new city, new state, for this job, and I knew pretty much no one in the area. Time goes on and I still haven't really met anyone. I never felt any relation to anyone at work. I started to withdraw myself from friends, family, everyone. I feel that I would just need someone to talk to about this, but I am afraid. I feel that I don't want to burden anyone else with my issues. It has been a year in which every day I wake up thinking that I hate my job, my life, and myself. It was a struggle to push myself to keep going into that job for so long, but I did because I didn't know what else to do. Also, it didn't help that I end up spending over half my time trying to motivate myself to do some actual work. Sitting at a desk in a cube for 8-10 hours every day really got to me.
I left that job because I felt that I needed to change something in my life. Coming home from work each day left me drained and empty. I just didn't have the drive to do anything. The times before, on the way to, during, on the way from, and after each day put me through a lot of emotional states. I would be angry, sad, dejected, and passive throughout each day. Rarely was I able to truly be happy (at least that's how it seemed to me). So, I figured that I needed to leave and try to get rid of that burden in my life. I don't expect to magically recover from this depression, but I hope it's a step in the right direction. I don't know what I'm going to do about all the ties that I (attempted to) sever. I don't know who to talk to.
I guess this is where you come in. What should I do now? Is this a decision that I'm going to end up regretting?
TL;DR: | Quit my job; it was making me depressed. Haven't been able to talk to anyone about my depression. What now? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: How can I get a huge medical corporation to listen to me?
POST: The medical office I work in is a minuscule branch of a big hospital. I have spoken to my boss regarding issues that need to be addressed but it doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere so I'm considering going to someone higher up on the corporate ladder. It's very frustrating asking for something over and over again just to get the same response or no response at all. My office is 3 hours away from the main hospital location so it's not easy to get the higher-ups to come out and see for themselves how our office is. It all goes through communication from boss to boss and i believe that since we're such a small blip on their radar that they just don't care about our needs in this office.
For example, my coworker and I have been asking for a barrier between us and the patients for more than 2 years and have gotten the response "we're working on it" about a hundred times. The problems we have aren't just typical complaints...we are not HIPAA compliant at all. Our waiting room is right out in the open with only a long desk separating patients from receptionist staff. There are charts and all sorts of patient information people can see just by leaning over our desk (and they do). We try our best to conceal information but sometimes it's just not possible. Kids run behind the desk and parents don't say anything. Our charts are right out in the open and anyone can just come up and take one out. Our practice has grown so big that the tiny storage room we once used as a makeshift lunch room is now full of charts so we have to eat lunch at our desk. There are just a lot of problems that we need help with and I don't know how to get anyone to listen to me. I appreciate any suggestions.
TL;DR: | Don't want to go over my boss's head by going to higher-ups for problems in the work place but don't know how else to get things done. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: I [M20] want to ask friend [F19] out but not sure how or if I should.
POST: So I have known this girl for about four years, we went to high school together and get along pretty well. We both ended up going to the same college so we see each other occasionally. I have my doubts on asking her out because I dated one of her friends for a little longer than a year, the end of high school and the first two semesters of college. My relationship with her friend ended last May.
I have always kinda felt like she might have some interest in me but between my lack of confidence and me dating her friend I have never made any sort of move.
So I am wondering if I should ask her out based on this information and if so how I should go about doing so. Any help is greatly appreciated.
TL;DR: | I am interested in dating an ex's friend and don't know if I should or or how to go about asking her out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Can you guys help me design a cat themed picture cake for a friends birthday?
POST: All right reddit I need your help.
My buddy's fiance's birthday is coming up and since she's really into cats I really want to convince him to get a cat themed picture cake. I was thinking of something along the lines of the 70's motivational poster Hang in there kitten and saying something like "way to hang in there another year." I have no experience with photoshop so i'm sure it would turn into a junior high word art presentation in no time. I know you guys have more cat pictures than the internet itself so come on, help a guy out?
TL;DR: | Please help me put an end to crappy mspaint pictures and help me design the cat picture cake that reddit deserves, but not the one it needs. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24F] had sex on my roommates bed [21 F] BUT should i admit it?
POST: she already suspects I have but most of the time i've been very neat about covering my tracks. Should i admit to her that i did it and vow to never do it again or let her suspect to avoid an awkward moment and vow to never have sex on her bed?
I live in the living room on a broken futon. Not because she's doing me a favor but because she signed a lease with her ex bf and she couldn't make rent on her own. I moved in and since my futon broke i have been having sex everywhere but the futon with my bf. I'm not saying this to say i have any right but just to let you know partly why i chose to screw on her bed. and btw i put a cover over before, i'm not a barbarian.
btw in college when i was dorming, she had sex on my roommates bed so does that matter? I just don't feel like I have to tell her where I have sex.
TL;DR: | Should i admit to my roommate and vow to never have sex on her bed again OR should i deny it and vow to never fuck on her bed? |
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