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SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Last night I learned the my parents are extremely racist towards black people, what have you learned about your parents that makes you ashamed?
POST: After my shift at a pizza place I invited a few friends over to play Pokemon master trainer. I told my middleastern dad that 4 friends were coming over and he was totally fine with it, But my mom started to ask who "Mike" was. I told her he was a good friend of mine who happens to be black. Once I said that it felt like the world just exploded. My mom went and told my dad that I was bringing "ganster black people" over and started freaking out.. and my dad always follows my mother's orders and he told me to tell my friends not to come over. I was shocked that all this even happened, so I stood my ground and I told them that judging people by their skin is wrong and this was totally unlike them. My dad then thought I was disobeying his authority as head of household, and told me that if I didn't like it, I could get out. So I did. I packed up my things and I left with those same friends and we went to laser quest and had a blast.
TL;DR: | mom flips out because a black friends is coming over, I stand up to my parents, and I get thrown out of the house. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [19F] who had a very mutual breakup with [19m] before leaving to college, now seeing someone else [19m] and can't seem to move past it.
POST: Before I left for school I was in a fantastic relationship which lasted about six months (cut very short). It had become progressively more serious right before I was set to leave for school so we considered long distance, but quickly realized it would probably just pollute what had been a great relationship. The last little while I was in town I had to devote every waking moment to work because of a severe shortage of employees. One day we got talking (over text) about how much harder it was going to get and ended up breaking up right then. This was made even harder by us both talking throughout the breakup about how we were still in love.
After I officially left for school we would occasionally talk and nearly every time we would eventually talk about getting back together. I would usually start stressing out about not being able to devote enough time and attention to him and we would agree to stop. Eventually we agreed that we needed to stop talking to each other for a while and focus on each moving on.
Soon after this I started seeing someone who is extremely similar to him. It's been about two months now and things are going extremely well and I could really see this going somewhere. The issue is that again and again I have these moments when I realize I'm not thinking about my boyfriend, I'm thinking about my ex. I'm having a great time being with this guy and I don't want to ruin it by dwelling in the past.
TL;DR: | Broke up instead of long distance, moved on to guy who is too similar to ex, keep being reminded of ex. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My friend [27/F] did a weird thing to me [23M] when we were hanging out!
POST: Hello everyone,
I had a crush on this girl at work when I first saw her but then we became friends and we hang out we each other whenever possible, and she never declines any invitation (she is nice with everyone and she hangs out with a lot of people from work) so became best friends and she is now valuable to me that I put the idea of asking her out aside and threw any feelings that I had for her away.
Last night we were in her place watching a game (she is a football fan) and during the break we were watching some videos on youtube and she was a little close to me that our arms touched, they are two normal things that can happen in this situation for me, it's either we keep touching as friends there is nothing to worry about, or she can move her arm normally and it's nothing, the problem is she thought that I wasn't paying attention to that and moved her arm slowly so I don't feel anything or even if I did I won't notice that she moved it. That made me so curious, given the fact that we consider ourselves friends. I wan't to know what does that mean, it might be nothing but still I can't stop thinking about it.
TL;DR: | me and my friend (ex-crush) were and her place watching some videos on youtube, our arm touched and she moved her arm i a slowly weird way, that made me curious and I don't know what to think. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (15 M) and my crush (15 F) complicated situation.. Any help is appreciated
POST: OK so thanks in advance to anyone who helps. I am a 15 year old male and this sounds crazy but I believe I am in love. Please don't roll your eyes. I know I'm young but I'm mature for my age and I have thought about it for a while and decided I am in love. There's one problem. The girl I love is in a relationship.
Now before anyone says, well talk to her, there's another problem: She (15 F) is in a relationship with a guy in college (19 M) and he's abusive. We used to be best friends me and her but now we don't talk. She no longer believes in male-female friendship. There's no way I can talk to her and tell her how I've felt for 4 and a half years now.
Even if I were to talk to her and convince her that he was hurting her I don't think she'd ever go for me. He's in great physical shape and I'm tall and skinny (5,11 130 lb). I believe my feelings are real because I love her personality and the way she looks. In fact, since I've come to terms with my feelings for her ( I tried blocking my feelings out ever since she got in this abusive relationship last year) I don't find anyone else attractive. Not one girl. I care for her and want to save her from this abusive relationship that she believes is true love because I care for her.
I guess my questions would be: What can I do to even begin talking to her again? Do you think she is savable? Would she even go for me if I did save her? Are my feelings of love true or is it just 15 year old "puppy love"? Thanks for any advice.
TL;DR: | I think I'm in love with girl. She has athletic older boyfriend who abuses her. Need help to win her heart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Does anyone have any experience with the difficult transition from crib to toddler bed? How long will this go on?
POST: Our daughter is a smart cookie - in fact she was speaking and counting numbers at 19 months. She can express herself very well for a kid her age, but when this girl gets into tantrum mode, it is a force of nature. I read about a lot of kids having tantrums that last 3 to 5 minutes and they pass -- our daughter's tantrums can go 30-45 minutes or more and they are Category 5 intense. We recently got her a "big girl" toddler bed and at the same time, maybe even mistakenly, we told her bubbies (pacifiers) went away with her crib, which we talked about for a couple weeks leading up to it. Before that, which was about 3 weeks ago, she had no problem sleeping through the night. Now she is up at least 3 times a night, every night wanting to come in bed with us, or going into full-on rage mode when she can't. As a consolation, I or my wife will lie down next to her bed in her room and rub her back for awhile, then, like a ninja we sneak out of there when she's on her way to la-la-land.- but it can take up to 30-40 minutes to get her mellow enough back in her bed and to that point. We feel like it's completely unsafe to let her scream it out by herself, and when she gets into kicking mode, all of our neighbors are up (we live in a townhouse) and she kicks the walls, door in her room, whatever and it gets loud.
Is this just how it is? Is there any way to calm a child down quickly and make her feel comfortable in her own room?
TL;DR: | 11PM, 1AM & 4AM tantrums: We are physically and mentally exhausted from our strong-willed 2 year-old girl on week 3 of a paci-less night time and toddler bed. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [40 M] with my wife [40 F] 15 years, divorce looming. Questions about after...
POST: OK so my wife and I are, as far as I can see, going to divorce. She's mentally abusive to me and our two wonderful kids. We're in counseling and she's also seeing someone individually but I really feel it's just too late. There are VERY small improvements, then she'll say something to me that makes me look at her and just be completely repulsed. Like, I wouldn't even be friends with someone like her.
I know that once the divorce happens, the only thing I will be focused on is my kids. They're my rock. I love them more than anything in this world. I also know though, at some point, I will want to date. I'm a pretty good guy. I've been a stay at home dad (mutual decision between me and my wife) so I think that speaks to what family life means to me.
My concerns are about how women my age will see that. Yes, I've given up my job for several years to raise my kids. I don't have a degree but I make (made) decent money without one.
All I want is to feel love again. I've just been so beaten down, I don't know that it will ever happen again.
TL;DR: | Older guy with young kids about to be divorced. Wondering if I'll ever be able to find happiness after being divorced. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [21 F] with my former coworker and future wedding photography partner [late 30s-early 40s M] invited me to dinner and drinks to catch up, discuss our photography partnership and our plans for the future.
POST: I used to work at a family portrait studio for almost a year with an awesome crew. This specific coworker (we'll call him Jim) and I hit it off and work great together. This past March I shot my first wedding and asked him to come along as my second shooter. Because we worked so well together on that project, he asked me to be his second for a wedding a few weeks ago and it went even better than the one before. He then asked me to be his second for most of his future weddings and I agreed.
Now. I have a boyfriend of 3 years and he is a married homosexual man with a daughter. He knows of my relationship and has met my SO. Last night Jim and I were chatting about my most recent photography project and more and he sent me these messages:
"I would love to catch up with u one evening when we're both free maybe for dinner and a drink (my treat) and would love to talk about partnering for weddings maybe and negotiating rates to maximize both of us and get u the most exposure.
Would u be interested in grabbing dinner , to talk, maybe talk future projects where each one of us wants to see our self within this next year. We can chat about rates , future projects maybe partnering for certain projects etc. But think a dinner and drinks on me would be a good starting place. I'm so grateful to have u as a friend and I know how we work together and believe we can discuss business opportunities.
Hope all that made sense.
It's all late and getting tired but would love to take u to dinner and drinks to discuss many opportunities for both of us as a team."
I am not sure if this is a normal thing to do or if I should accept or reject his invitation. Or maybe even accept the dinner invitation but turn down drinks because I will have to drive myself home afterwards. Or suggest just going out for coffee instead?
TL;DR: | Future wedding photography partner wants to take me to dinner and drinks to talk about our partnership and catch up. Should I suggest coffee instead, accept, or reject invitation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [19 M] girlfriend [19 F] of eight months just put us on a "break," need some perspective
POST: As the title says, my girlfriend of eight months recently rode in to town to split up with me. We met at college at the beginning of the year last year, hit it off immediately, and have been happy ever since (or so I thought).
I thought everything was fine, we made plans for her to come in to town (she lives about 45 mins away), we'd have lunch, then watch a movie back at my place.
When she got into my drive way, she had me get into the car, and I could immediately tell something was wrong. She said she hadn't liked the person she'd become recently, although she said it was through no fault of my own. Her parents are in the process of splitting up and she didn't like that I was the only person she could go to, as she felt like she had distanced herself from her friends. We only see each other two days out of the week at most, and I have never told her not to be with her friends, so I am not sure where this is coming from.
I tried to have her work these things out with me in her life, but she was adamant that she needed to work on her relationship with her parents and friends on her own. I brought up that I could give her time alone to work on whatever she needed, and she said she would need at least three months, and that, although she wouldn't actively pursue other people, she would still go out to parties and stuff, which I was fine with.
I know this may all seem trivial as a young person's relationship issue whatever, but I need a little perspective on this. I do love her, and I don't want to let her go, but I need to know from someone with experience with these things if our relationship has any chance at all.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend split up with me citing the "it's not you, it's me" cliche. We're currently on at least a three month hiatus. I would like some perspective. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [25] male started seeing one of my good girl friends [25], its not official but we've gotten very close and she's upset I let our mutual friends know before we 'decided what we're doing'
POST: I've never been in this situation before so I figured I might as well glean as much knowledge as I can from this little subreddit.
One of my close girl friends moved away ~3 years ago, and just moved back in to the area. We started talking/hanging out a lot as friends - and then I went out of my way and put together a birthday party for her 25th 2 months ago. We slept together, sober, the next morning.
The next day, one of (what I thought was) our mutual girl friends asked if we hooked up - I said yep and shrugged it off giving no and other details.
Fast forward 3 weeks - we've hung out a 3-4 more times, and hooked up a few more times, talking almost every day. We also went on one real date.
This Saturday, she asks me not to say anything to our friends until we figure out what we're doing between us. I said sure, completely forgetting that I'd told the girl 3 weeks before. The girls hang out yesterday, it gets brought up in front of another male friend, and cue World War 3. 20+ texts calling me an asshole and going against my word, etc. and refusing to call me or give me a moment of her time (I tried to schedule a time to sit and talk). I apologized profusely and let her know everything I've typed in here. All of our friends are mutual, so odds are I'm going to see her this weekend regardless at some point.
TL;DR: | Told mutual friend we hooked up once, girl in question flips out when she finds out and basically won't speak to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 F] with my new friend [24 F] of less than 6 months, I still feel uncomfortable, should I break it off?
POST: I met this girl a few months ago, the first couple of times we hung out (dinner and a music festival) it was very easy going, just getting to know each other type of deal, but lately when we go out I feel uncomfortable. I haven't seen anything with my own eyes, or have any way of proving it to be true, but I'm certain she's stolen things when we went shopping once, and I feel like she lies sometimes when we have conversations ( I'm sure she doesn't, I just get a weird vibe).
Now I'm not sure if it's my instincts kicking in, or if I feel this way because she's new and I'm trying to understand her character. I mean I feel awkward as it is because I'm not much of a conversationalist, but it's a struggle for me to feel bonded to her. She's a nice women and very open/welcoming, but something with us isn't clicking. We've seen each other about 5 times, and I still feel like I JUST met her. Should I somehow break it off? How? Not everyone is meant to be friends right? Not all personalities mesh together. I feel like a friend should be easy to click with, not a struggle.
Side note: We also have no relatable things in common, as far as I know, we're from different cities, don't work together, and neither of us watch much tv or movies.
TL;DR: | I met this girl a few months back, hung out about 5 times, but I still feel uncomfortable and sketchy around her. Should I break it off? How? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Has anyone had luck with Plenty of Fish, Tinder, or MeetMe? Is it worth trying? [24 M]
POST: I don't dabble too much into online dating, but sometimes I like to see my chances on Plenty of Fish, MeetMe, and Tinder. I have noticed on MeetMe I get some replies back. However, on Tinder and Plenty of Fish, I struggle to get replies back.
People consider me a good looking guy, most woman would rate me a 7 out of 10. So I don't think it is because I am horribly ugly for the reason I am struggling with reply backs. I've had good looking girlfriends in the past, but I just can't seem to figure out why I am lacking with replies on POF and Tinder. Maybe simple probability is involved here? Am I not getting a lot of replies due to the fact that males outnumber woman tremendously on these websites, thus making woman more "choosey"? I am assuming it is extremely competitive for males? Are woman's inboxes full to the brim because of this? Has anyone had luck with Plenty of Fish or Tinder?
Woman: Are you inboxes really full on POF and Tinder? What is a reply that catches your eye? How can a guy catch your eye when replying to you?
Men: Has any other guy been having the same issue I have or is it just me?
TL;DR: | I am thinking that dating websites are not set up for males in the sense that guys highly outnumber woman. Is this true? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Is she [17 F] flirting with me [17 M] or is she just being overly friendly?
POST: The girl I currently have a crush on flirts with me an insane amount and I just never seem to catch on until after it happens. Hell, I don't even know if it's flirting or she just considers us good enough friends to push the boundaries. When we're in class, whenever a guy and a girl seem to be getting along she comments on how flirty they are, when we do the exact same thing all the time. She rests her foot on mine under the desk. I playfully hit her on the arm with one of those bendy rulers once and she teasingly said that she was 'into it'. One time she took my pencil and I went to grab it and she made sure to comment how I 'almost touched her boob'. In fact, she talks about her boobs a hell of a lot. One time she tried to figure out whether I've kissed anyone before (I haven't), but I never told her that. Probably the biggest one though is the fact that I made her a list of movies/TV shows she should watch, which she does, but one day she kept talking about how she 'loves cosy movie days and nights with people'. I was pretty sure she was trying to hint at me to invite her over, but wasn't sure enough to ask. There's been a couple of occasions like that where even I know she's flirting, but I panic too much to come up with something good to say back. So, is she for sure flirting with me or not?
TL;DR: | Girl flirts with me a lot, but I can't tell if she's just being friendly a lot. Help? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My[30f] friend[30m] of 16 years usually starts business projects and doesn't follow through to finish them, resulting in financial consequences. This idea, unfortunately, may be the worst yet, but I want to be supportive of his effort without sugarcoating anything. Advice please?
POST: My friend Kevin and I met in the 9th grade. In a lot of ways, he is like a brother with all the years we have known each other. We are both still single and take spontaneous trips every few months together outdoors and have had some good times.
Here is where things are rough. He can't stand the idea of working for someone else and hasn't done so for more than 3 months at a time. I have been working at the same company for 10 years. A lot of his 20's has been spent taking college classes and investing in business ventures. He never worries about money.
He has filed bankruptcy twice in the past 11 years due to starting businesses and running up credit cards. He puts down a lot of money and doesn't have the patience to let the business profit so he quits trying and gives up on it. He also owes on student loans, which of course you can't file on, from dropping out of two different colleges and never going back.
Just last month, he decides he wants to open up a drive in movie theater in the town we live in. I told him that it is in a great location since the closest one is almost 100 miles away and there isn't any residences nearby to worry about noise complaints. But I feel like he's going about it wrong and probably won't have the patience to give it a chance to turn a profit. He already opened up a Facebook page for it, announced an open date (in May), and is getting a lot of people excited about it. He has only been dealing with the legal aspects of everything (zoning, permits, etc) but hasn't even invested in or built any major equipment such as the screen itself or the projector. He is trying to sell T-Shirts to fund this. He is mad at me for mentioning anything negative. Sometimes I feel like there is something mentally wrong with him but can't point my finger at it.
TL;DR: | I want to be honest with my friend about his business venture, even if it hurts our friendship. What is the best way to handle this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: Husband complains how much he hates his job, hours before work starts
POST: His days off are fine. He can relax, and we have normal conversations. We go to movies, talk about games or sports or whatever. But when he works he will start complaining about work, the people at work, stupid managers and whatever else, a good two hours before he leaves. Then after he leaves, I spend the next 3 or 4 hours depressed and feeling worthless because I can't do anything. When he comes home after a 12 hour shift, he spends another 2 hours complaining. We can't afford to change jobs, and I can't work, so we are stuck. I may get 3 or 4 hours of sleep at night, and I know I've got ulcers because of this. It's been like this for 5 or 6 years.
When the department went over 1000 days of no time lost due to injury, the home office wanted to reward the employees. Ended up, the whole plant got coats with the company logo. There was nothing separate for the department that busted their butts to keep going, not even pizza. But the manager of that department took his wife and kids to Disneyland. He has said many times, he wants his employees to fear him, it shows proper respect he says. When the numbers are met, and goals made, he gets a pay raise or incentive. None of it trickles down to the employees, not even a box of doughnuts.
Company used to be "family owned" and they treated their employees like humans. There would be pot luck dinners on holidays, and managers would buy pizza for the crew after a hard order was completed. Entire departments would have birthday parties or at least bags of cookies or boxes of doughnuts. It's not like that any more.
It's not like it is a small company. It is international, with plants across the globe. But after the family sold their shares and the corporate bean counters took over, everything is different. It's all about numbers, not "family values" like they say in the advertising.
TL;DR: | my husband is vocal about hating his job for hours before and after work, and I can't do anything about it except worry. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22F] need advice about this bridal/moving away party that my best friend's [22F] family is giving for her
POST: My best friend and I have been friends for about 4 years. My best friend's husband is in the navy and she's moving soon so her step mother wants to throw her a bridal shower(since she didn't have one) and moving away party this Sunday at a restaurant.
Her step mother invited me to go but since I don't have a lot of money at the moment, I'm not sure how much is the appropriate amount to give and I don't know if I'm suppose to chip in to pay for the meal. Also, my best friend said that it's best to give a gift card since she doesn't know where her husband is going to be stationed. So what is a good amount of money to give?
TL;DR: | Best friend is moving away soon and step mother invited me to the going away party. Not sure how much to give. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If you could remove a single negative character trait in today's society, what would it be and why?
POST: For me, it would have to be **ignorance**.
Why, you may ask? Because I feel as though a large number of today's problems are caused by the fact that many people do not want to see both sides of an argument. Ignorance is akin to not wanting to learn; you can't formulate a proper argument without understanding as much as possible about a particular topic.
An ongoing topic on reddit (and anywhere else in the world, really) is the topic of religion. I'm a Roman Catholic by birth and by faith, and although I was raised to be extremely religious and was considering at one point becoming a priest, I very much dislike the manner in which some Catholics express their views. A perfect example is my father who is very fervent in his beliefs, and where everyone else does not "see the Truth". While that may be true - and while we can't confirm either side of the argument at this point - wanting to know nothing else about other people's point of view makes me sick. **NOTE: This does not only apply to Catholics, but to people who are rich, poor, of different race or beliefs. It happens pretty much anywhere you look.** It also doesn't apply to everyone in said groups; I am an example of this. Maybe I'm just curious, but I like to get all of the information on a subject before making an informed decision, and even then I am always open to other people's thoughts and points of view even after making a decision.
I've been trying to find some subreddit where people discuss pretty much any topic in a calm and civil manner. Instead, I've found that there's always a bias somewhere, and I wish there was an alternative. The person who said "Ignorance is bliss" obviously didn't see the repercussions that ignorance could bring upon society.
TL;DR: | I would get rid of *ignorance* because - in my personal opinion - I think it's the cause for too much hate/violence in society. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My (16m) girlfriends (16f) parents verbally abuse her regularly and now forbid us from spending time together, and she doesn't want to do anything about it.
POST: Title says it all. My girlfriends parents constantly insult her, call her things such as whore, slut, bitch, etc. Today she had asked her parents if she could come to my house, to which her father promptly responded "no you're probably just horny and are going there to have sex" (mind you my parents were home, and both of us are virgins, and have done very little together sexually). Today I found out that her parents acting like that towards her happens on a regular basis. I am shocked and now absolutely disgusted by her parents. But my girlfriend does not want to do anything about this. She is afraid of what might happen, and is unwilling to even attempt to change things. I do not know what to do anymore, her parents are ruining our relationship, and seemingly destroying my girlfriends mental state. Any help and suggestions would be appreciated.. I am overwhelmed.
TL;DR: | girlfriends parents verbally abuse her all the time and forbid us from spending time together, girlfriend is unwilling to do anything about this and try to change things. Any help is appreciated. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by stealing a jar of chili sauce from a chinese restaurant
POST: I love that stuff. This place has the jars with the little spoons. I really wanted some for home, so I put it in the bag with the leftovers.
Cut to the next night (last night): It was way past my bedtime, and I had to work in the morning. Boyfriend and I had drinks, had just finished up in bed and I got up to grab some water. I open the fridge, and in my tipsy, postcoital state, went to grab the water behind chili sauce jar on the top shelf and all of a sudden, I am covered in the shit. I knocked it out and it hit the bottom corner just right and spewed everywhere in a huge arc. I should mention now that I WAS NAKED. It was all over my face, my hair, boobs, (luckily nothing go hit below the stomach) and in BOTH my eyes. I scream and immediately head for the sink...boyfriend yells "WHAT IS GOING ON?" I scream back what happened, and all I hear is hysterical laughter. After a while under water, everything still burns. He yells to pour milk on my face, so I proceed to empty an entire gallon over my head. It stopped burning about an hour later. Left the kitchen a mess and went to get in bed.
I feel it is important to point out that my boyfriend never got out of bed. Learned later it was bc he was busy posting it on facebook.
TL;DR: | stole jar of chili sauce from chinese restaurant, dropped sauce late at night while naked and got bukkaked. Took milk bath, BF is a dick. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me (23f) with my therapist (30?f) and her departure. [non romantic]
POST: I hope this is the right place for this but I figure a professional relationship with questions is still a relationship with questions. I wrote this on mobile so please excuse spelling errors.
I have been in therapy for many years (mostly for depression, anxiety, and my personality disorder). I've been seeing my current one for 2ish years I believe. She (30?f) has been very helpful and warm which is a stark contrast to one I had prior to her.
She's been very open to me and we have a friendly relationship and I genuinely follow and enjoy her insight. I find a lot of her qualities are like my own and believe in another life time we would've been friends. She's leaving this position really soon and I'm having trouble with that? I've jokingly brought up staying in contact but I am shy because I know it's inappropriate. She's a social worker, which is exactly what I'm in school for and these sessions have not only helped with my poor mental health but quelled some fears about my future career. It's hard because I see her as a bit or a mentor as well as my clinician so to let go of that relationship.
I know it's my own personality disorder that may be making it hard for me to let go so I know I shouldn't pursue an inappropriate relationship and ask to remain friends. Has any one else been through this? How did you cope? did you remain in contact? was it easy to move one?
TL;DR: | I grew quite see to the guidance and companionship of my therapist however, she's leaving so I have to figure out what comes next. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: M(19) met this fantastic girl(18). I wan't to meet up with her, what do I do?
POST: General background: I'm a very introverted guy and I've been trying really hard these past years to be a little more extrovert than usual, and let's say 'expand' my social life. it's been a little overwhelming, but hell I'm trying.
The closest I've ever been with a girl is hugging every once in a while in a social environment, like any normal person, so i'm pretty much as virgin as it gets.
So the other day i met an awesome girl at a party. We had a lot of things in common, specially a mutual love for animation (specially pixar). Guys like me rarely get the attention of another person, so yeah, it felt really great to talk to someone that seemed as interested in listening you as you were of her. The thing is, she was also very extroverted, an there is no way for me to tell if what I thought was a miracle sent directly from god was just a normal conversation with some dude for her.
So we talked and talked until we left and she gave me her number. I texted her a couple of days later and we chatted for a couple of days. In one of these conversation she showed me a little piece of animation she did, and later i decided to show her a little bit of my work. Now I've been doing a bit of animation for a while so she was pretty amazed by it. She then asked me what program i used (flash) and then asked me if i could teach her... So me, in all my social awkwardness and all, told her that we could meet one of these days so i could show her the basics (which i perfectly can and i'd be happy to). She seemed pretty positive and enthusiastic about the idea, for my luck.
Now i'm here, asking your advice. I really liked this girl, and i don't know if she likes me, but likes me or not, she did asked me to teach her. So how should i handle this? Do i invite her over and just play it cool? Should i ask her out instead and offer her teaching her as part of the date? what is it damn it WHAT??
TL;DR: | Met an awesome girl the other day and she later asked me if i could teach her how to use adobe flash (which i can). What do i do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21/M] struggle with having romantic interests reciprocate their feelings back to me.
POST: To be brief, I'm a student/musician who has some problems it seems with maintaining romantic interests. I feel like I constantly put out but never receive much back. It's like I go through this cycle of having a person obtain a strong interest in me but lose it very quickly. I mean, they're interested enough to actively want to hang out and sleep with me for a time (Like a month or so), but they inevitably just seem to lose interest and back away.
My dating history isn't exactly very much. I had two serious relationships in high school and then was seeing someone last fall. In the past year I've been diagnosed with depression and I still suffer from it pretty frequently though I'm doing better at finding coping methods to help myself. I suppose I would describe myself as sometimes being a pushover but also someone who can be extremely supportive and not make others feel uncomfortable. I've also recently given up drinking/drugs.
I'm not sure if what I'm going through is just a normal experience for people my age or if I actively push people away by doing something. I don't really expect much of people and I kind of like to take things easy myself but I just feel like I'm always putting out more than I'm getting back and it inherently effects my mental health.
TL;DR: | I'm unsure if it's just really hard to find committed relationships at this age or if I'm just doing something wrong. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: Coming off Injury
POST: So, after racing in collegiate nationals in tempe (for triathlon- Olympic distance), a friend and I decided to run a 50 miler in Duluth towards the end of July. I went out on my first "long run" hoping to get between 16-18. I ended up getting back to my apartment at 17 miles but felt great and decided to keep going. I ended up doing 24 miles with some serious hip/groin pain towards the end. I tried to run a couple days later but could hardly walk. 6 weeks later, I have been lifting, biking, swimming a lot and finally getting back to the run. I am no longer experiencing pain in my hip/groin but it feels incredibly stiff and awkward. Should I just run through it or keep waiting it out?
TL;DR: | Hip/groin injury. Trying to come back because there's no pain, but running feels very stiff and awkward. Should I run through it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [22M] ex-gf [19F] 8 months, can songs linked mean something?
POST: I know this is a trivial question that can lead to multiple answers.
It's a rather long story. I still have my ex on social media, where I check her profile from time to time. Even though we're no contact right now, and I haven't spoken to her for almost two weeks. She's just recently linked this in her profile;
I'm not sure if I'm over thinking it, or maybe I am just looking too much into it. Maybe she just likes to song to like it.. But I mean, she knows that I read her profile every now and then, so she must know that I would have listened to the song.
I'm not sure, what say you Reddit? Can people link songs related to what they're feeling? In this particular situation?
TL;DR: | ex links song with lyrics that say; "Tell me that you want me", can it mean anything? Went no contact on decent ground, it wasn't a horrible break up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20/f] with multiple men [20/m-27/m] over the course of several years, connecting to and relating to them
POST: hi, this is more of a relational pattern than a single relationship issue. I have been going on first dates with a lot of different dudes I've met through match.com and usually when I do I let the dudes lead the conversation. When I told my best friend what I usually talk about with them she told me I need to stop-- because Usually when guys are up for discussing anything deep or intellectual I'm up for going along with it. my best friend who's actually very successful with men says never to do this though. However I feel most connected to people when I'm able to have conversations like this with them. Note though that I also have not been very successful with men in the past, I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship before. I have two close friends and that's about it. I also have been on a ton of dates from match.com and have not been successful on nearly any of them, although many men want to go on second or third dates with me.
What should I do? And does anyone else know why my best friend (her name is Emily) might be saying this?
TL;DR: | have a tendency to connect with people on intellectual level but am not successful with men. Have been told not to do this by someone I respect without understanding why. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [18 F] am upset with my boyfriend [18 M] of four years, looking for outside input.
POST: This is kind of long, so here goes.
There are three people involved in this story. Myself, my boyfriend, and my boyfriend's best friend, let's call him Jack. Let's note that Jack tends to be EXTREMELY dramatic.
To shorten it a bit, Jack and I ended up arguing. He told me that my boyfriend has wanted to dump me, that I make him miserable, and that if I decided to kill myself, he would give me the rope. I was obviously very upset by this. I talked with my boyfriend and he said none of those things Jack was saying regarding our relationship was true.
My boyfriend refused to defend me or justify my feelings, insisting "that is just the way Jack is." As a side note, there is a young boy in the neighborhood who plays with his younger brother and has asberger's. He is very mean to the other children and says rude things to adults. I told him that saying that it was okay for Jack to say that is like saying it was okay for this child to bully his younger brother. He hasn't responded.
My boyfriend has been planning a LAN party for the DOTA internationals, and myself, Jack, and another friend were all supposed to be there. Well, Jack said if I was there he would refuse to go. So naturally, my boyfriend let him go, therefore excluding me. Jack forced him to pick sides.
I can't help but to feel unimportant and like my feelings as a human being don't matter as long as Jack is happy. I am also upset that my boyfriend did nothing to defend me against Jack's personal attacks.
Am I wrong in feeling this way? Am I just overreacting?
Sorry if this is choppy. I wanted to add enough context so it makes sense, but not so much detail I write a novel. If there is any confusion or more details are needed to understand anyone's side, I will happily provide them.
TL;DR: | Argue with boyfriend's best friend, he says hurtful things, boyfriend does nothing to defend me and I am upset. Am I overreacting? How do I handle this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If a merchant makes a pricing error in your favor, what would you do?
POST: There was a recent situation where a good friend of mine bought an item from an online store for a few hundred bucks. He decided he wanted a different model of the same item, which was about $50 less than the original item. He asked a worker there to just make a price adjustment, but instead of shaving off $50 from the original price tag, they made a mistake and only charged him $50, saving him couple hundred.
Is it wrong for him not to tell them the error and keep the money? I know that if it was me, I'd be tempted to keep it, but I think it's wrong...
TL;DR: | Friend bought something online and due to a (system or human) error he only paid a fraction of the price. Should he keep it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I got robbed in 2 Countries in the same day. What is your most interesting life story?
POST: Here it is my best life story.
In 2010 I was visiting my best friend from high school who was stationed in Italy. While I was there we made a weekend trip to Rome. We were riding on the subway, and it was super packed. There was a lot of confusion, and I got off at the wrong stop and hurried back on the subway. (This is when I suspected that I got pick pocketed) We made to our destination, an it did my usual cellphone, keys, wallet check and flipped out cause my wallet wasn't there. My heart sank! I had 250 euros plus my debit cards license everything minus my passport.
Fast forward to the night I borrowed $20 from my friend we went to the bar and partied that night. I woke up the next day hungover got on Facebook and I had a message from my mom telling me that my apartment got robbed. They stole pretty much everything,TV's Xbox, laptop,movies, they even took my fucking condoms. It was almost $10,000 worth of shit. Not all mine, but a good bit was.
Side note: The girlfriend of my roommate was there the whole time hiding in the closet while our place was getting ransacked of everything we owned. She didn't call the cops instead called her boyfriend. It was not an inside job, she is just an idiot.
So there you go that is my most interesting life story, what is yours?
TL;DR: | Went to Italy, got pick pocketed, and also got my apartment robbed they even took my condoms in the same day. Also, roommates girlfriend is an idiot. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Last night I crashed a $300,000 cnc machine.. Reddit, what things have you done at work where you thought you wouldn't have a job the next day?
POST: I work second shift in a small factory (<50 employees), where I am one of only two people on second shift. Last night I forgot to turn part of a program back on, and crashed a 5-axis grinder while it was cutting into some carbide. I swear I couldn't run to hit the Emergency Stop button fast enough, hearing that horrible sound.. These machines crash occasionally, but usually we just have to replace a grinding wheel. Well this time, I couldn't get the motor which turns the wheels to come back on. The crash was my fault, forgetting to turn back on the first part of the program.
Maybe none of this would be a big deal, but Thursday night, on an EDM wire machine, their was a fire. Completely not my fault, the tool being cut was shaped in a way that the coolant/dielectric fluid couldn't reach the cutting point and it started shooting flames. Although not my fault, they're still partially putting blame on me.
TL;DR: | Had a fire Thursday night, crashed a machine Friday night, not sure if I'll have a job on Monday since I haven't seen or spoken to any of my superiors yet. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What is the possibility that a hobo has been stealing things from my house
POST: Theres a neighborhood and a half built house across the street that's right behind my house. The people who were building it ran out of money a year ago, so the place has just been sitting around. A few weeks ago, my brother snuck into the abandoned house late at night to sleep over. He heard a man say "hello" and shuffle around before he ran back. We have a fence in our backyard leading to the road that isn't locked often. A week ago we noticed that everyone was missing something that could not be found or explained. The missing items are: a black and white kindle, ipod touch, picture in a frame of my mom and her friends, bowls and spoons, and all of the mugs that are plain and don't have pictures of kids or are marathon / new york souvenirs. My mom always locks the doors at night, but I found a door leading outside that's never used unlocked and the doors were not locked one night when I didn't get home until 5am. Am I coming to insane conclusions? What should we do?
TL;DR: | Theres a squatter living in an abandoned house behind my house. We've noticed many things have mysteriously dissappeared recently. Could the squatter be stealing from us? What should we do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by being a huge dick to the worlds nicest repair man.
POST: So this just happened a few hours ago.
My father is a sack of shit deadbeat alcoholic and at this point I cant even look at him withouht becoming furious. However I still have to live around him for a little while so I just avoid eye contact alltogether and ignore his existance.
So this morning I woke up and walked downstair to make some breakfast. I make my way across the kitchen and start rumaging trough the fridge. In the end I decide to make some pourage so I go over to the dishwasher knowing that I'm eventually gonna need a clean bowl. As I bend down the wash room door opens and who I think is my father walks out and up to the sink. I hear a mumbled "hi" but I couldnt make it out or I was just too focused on trying to ignore him so I gave no reply as usual.
I turn away not even looking and start making the pourage. Suddenly my living room door opens and thinking it's my mom I look up. My dad walks out. I look behind me and the person that i just brutally cold shouldered is the repair man that I just remamber was supposed to come to fix out washing machine.
He was just finshed, washing his hands, and my dad started talking to him meanwhile I turned back to the stove in shame.
Worst part is that as the conversation between my dad and the rapair man unfolded the dude sounded like the nicest most cheerful person in the world. In fact he replaced 3 parts and wouldn't even take money for it because he siad it was a quick and easy job, arguing that the well made coffe my dad gave him was payment enough.
This is when fuckup number two happened. I was so hung up on my first fuck up and just frozen in shame that as he was bid his farewell going out the door once more I said nothing.
Cold shouldered twice. Didn't even thank him.
TL;DR: | I cold shouldered the worlds nicest repair man because I thought he was my alcoholic dad and now he probably thinks I look down on the working class. |
SUBREDDIT: r/legaladvice
TITLE: Asking to see mall security video?(CA,USA)
POST: I don't know where to ask this, but seems like this would be the best place since redditors here might have some experience with such a topic. Posted on [/r/askretail] as well on a different account.
A friend of mine lost her phone at the mall and we used her iPhone tracking app and it said it was at CottonOn. We look for it and closing time rolls around, we get kicked out, manager tells us that he will let us know if they find anything. 2 hours after closing, the tracking app notifies us that the phone has moved and that it was turned off after being moved as well.
We believe one of the employees pocketed the phone and placed it in the back room and left after closing, which would explain why the phone was not ringing when we called it, as well as not making the alert sound from the tracking app.
What we have done:
*Left our information and description of the phone
*Filed a non-emergency police report
*Continuously tried tracking the phone
What we are going to do:
*Go to the the store tomorrow morning
*Talk to the manager and explain our situation
*Ask to see security videos
Is it even possible for us to look at such videos? I believe it would solve the entire issue as it could possibly show where the phone went. What should I bring up when talking to the manager? I have not really faced anything like this in my life and I have no idea how to properly approach this.
TL;DR: | friend lost phone, have reason to believe that an employee pocketed it by tracking it with an app, want to ask to look at security videos, don't know exactly what to do |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: [NSFW] me (18M) have a party coming up and don't want to go with my (17F) SO due to sexual abuse a few years back
POST: so here is the bottom line...
my mom and dad left each other when i was 10 years old, back the. everyone walked over me i was afraid of everyone and everything, eventually my dad found a new girlfriend and they have been together for a few years now.
when my dad started moving in with his new girlfriend, the girlfriends youngest son who was 5 years older than me sexually abused me for half a year and i used to be able to surpress it in my memory but now i am confronted with it.
the son i am talking about has had alot of drug and criminal problems in the past but i was ready to leave it all behind and forget it all.
Now the girlfriend of my dad is having her birthday next week, i got an invite for it, but that is not my issue.
i never had a real girlfriend and 1 year ago i met the most amazing girl of my dreams, it's like we were made for each other and i love her with all my heart and will do everything in my power to make her life the best possible.
but, the birthday party invite said that we can both just come to it, but for the love of god i don't want to bring my girlfriend to that son that abused me for half a year, i know my dad will be really dissapointed that i won't come but i just can't.
every time that i think back about those times i start to cry and only my closest friend knows this story of the abuse and my girlfriend does aswell, i want to spare her any harm or fear or pain.
right know i just want to say that i skip the party and swing by another time when the son isn't there.
thank you for any help or replies.
TL;DR: | party coming up but one of the people there sexually abused me for months and i don't dare to take my gf of 1 year to the party |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18M] with my girlfriend [18F] have been dating for about 6 months, long time friends, I've got some not so sfw questions about some not so sfw clothing.
POST: Firstly, I'll try to keep it short, and I'm sorry if this should be somewhere else.
Optional back story: We've both been getting a little more sexual lately, and previously my so hasn't been into sex at all, she hadn't masterbated until she was 17. We were friends for about 7 years before dating just this last year, but about a year ago I asked her if she does, I dunno dumb guy questions about that that were flirty, and she said no, and I asked why, she said it felt strange and she didn't know if it was wrong. I told her why a lot of people do, assuring her that she isn't doing anything wrong by choosing not to, but maybe she should try to get herself to orgasm, she might like this new feeling. Well little did I know she did, many times after our conversation, each time thinking about me. She never told me this until we started dating, but each time she has orgasmed, it's been thinking about me, and she likes that thought.
So anyways getting down to the question, since she's pretty new to the sexual stuff a in relationships, and we got to talking about me buying her some lingerie, or panties. I dunno I guess it's a thing for me to get my special someone something no one else see's but me. Its a thing, its there, yeah. She got to thinking about it and decided she thought it'd be exciting, so I decided to get her some panties. She'd never worn a thong before, so I got her one of those, and she tried it out for a day, and decided it made her feel sexier, but just not very comfortable. So now I want to get her something that is comfortable, and she likes, but also makes her feel sexy. Because ya know, happy wife happy life, but I'm not sure what to get. I'm a guy, I don't know fat shit about female undies, so what should I look at? What should I consider?
TL;DR: | Getting female partner panties, she didn't like a thong, looking for something else pretty fun, don't know what to get or consider when getting something. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by thinking my ipod was broken for 2 years (but actually I'm just stupid).
POST: This was a few years ago. I bought my first ipod touch, and was anxious to connect it to the internet so I could use apps from the app-store. But for the life of me, I couldn't get the darn thing to connect to the home Wi-Fi. It would detect the network, but after entering the password it came up with an error message and failed to connect. I reset the ipod, restored factory settings, updated it etc. I tried everything that google said I should do. Finally I gave up and resigned myself to the fact that I won't be browsing facebook wirelessly in bed. About 2 years later I thought I'd give it another shot, being older and wiser surely I can get it to work. But again I failed. Then my sister's boyfriend comes around while I'm ranting to my family about how the stupid thing won't accept the password, and he casually says "maybe it's case-sensitive".
Typed the password in all caps and connected first try. Desperately wished I could have the last 2 years of life back.
TL;DR: | Went 2 years thinking my ipod's Wi-Fi connectivity was broken, turns out the password was case-sensitive (duh). |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my ex-boyfriend [25 M] just broke up after 10 months, I just started my period and am concerned my hormones impacted the decision
POST: My boyfriend and I had been going through a rough patch recently. There were a lot of issues we'd been trying to work through. These include:
He was smoking weed a lot and it made it difficult for me to talk to him or have serious conversations.
I have significantly less sexual need or desire than he does which was causing frustration.
And most recently a male friend of mine tried to hit on me, though nothing happened.
We talked through all of these issues, and while things obviously weren't instantly better, we wanted to work through them. The next day I was accepted into a very competitive research fellowship. It would mean I'd be gone for 12 weeks across the country and I'd be leaving in a month. There was a stipend attached and we both agreed it would be foolish for me to not accept the offer.
We then decided that because things were so rocky and we would not have much time together in person to fix everything, that breaking up now would be the best solution.
This was about 36ish hours ago, and I just started my period. I can't help but think that the issues we had leaning up to this were amplified by my hormones. I don't know how he feels about everything, and I'm not even 100% sure how I feel and now I'm not sure what to do about it.
TL;DR: | My boyfriend and I broke up less than 36 hours ago and I just started my period and am afraid my hormones played too much of a role in the relationship ending. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Me [28 M] with my gf [30 F] 2.5 years, not sure If I should hope she will change or end the relationship.
POST: This will easily be one of the biggest decisions I have made in my life. Please reddit advice.
**Pros**
I started dating her over 2 years ago. She is easily the best girlfriend I have had. The kind of personality she has I could totally see myself getting married to her. Last 2 years have been great.
**Cons**
But since I have met her she has gained over 20lbs and is now 200lbs. She loves yelping and trying new restaurants. Before I met her she use to drink a lot of soda and energy drinks but after I told her about health risks of such drink she has stopped.
She use to be a very talented freelance graphic designer now does not do anything, not worked for 1.5 years. Her parents support her she has always lived with them so has no money problems. But I would have liked it more if she made her own career. She takes care of her dad who is somewhat dependent on her because of health issues so she does even want to move out.
She tells me she wants to loose weight and get a job, even tries for a little while then gives up goes back to her comfortable routine of surfing web/window web shopping all night & sleeping all day, eating unhealthy.
Although I love her a lot and am willing to do anything to get her to change. I have tried so many times and failed I feel like maybe I should just quit.
TL;DR: | gf refuses to change bad habits has gained weight and refuses to work, should I move on or hope she will change? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Parenting
TITLE: Need tips on bonding with 10-year-old girl
POST: I want to keep this short, so please let me know if there are any additional details I should add..
I (female) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for one year. He has a 10-year-old daughter. I also have a 3-year-old son. We have discussed moving in together in about a year from now. I have full custody of my son, and he has his daughter all the time except every other weekend.
I would love to bond more with his daughter. I am not the most socially adept person, and I don't have much experience with 10-year-old girls. I will most likely be a strong mother figure in her life (she is not very close with her bio mom).
Do you have any tips for me on bonding with the daughter? Also, do you have any insight for me on 10-year-old girls? I know all kids are different, but perhaps what types of things are on their minds or tips on connecting with her at this age?
Thank you!
TL;DR: | Need pro tips on bonding with my boyfriend's daughter and what I might need to know about 10-year-old girls in general. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Should I [21M] be worried that she [23F] doesn't seem to intiate.
POST: Ill try and keep this short. I got out of a long term relationship about 4 months ago and am getting back into the dating scene. This is my first real time doing so, as the girl I was dating was a long time friend of mine. She was a friend of a friend and I saw her around every so often and we were friendly and talkative and such.
About 3 weeks ago I talked to our mutual friend and asked about the girl and whether or not she was seeing anyone etc. She wasn't. I Facebook messaged her asking her to go out, made sure it was specific and I chose places and times instead of being vague. Date went really well and I messaged her later that night saying I had a good time and would like to go out again, and that she could get a hold of me through phone if it were easier.
So she texts me back the next day and I go about setting up a second outing, this time with our mutual friend and her SO. Things go well and i text her after that saying that I have enjoyed hanging out we should do it more frequently, and she says yeah she could do that, she would be free during this week.
So i guess all signs are pointing towards the positive since she keeps agreeing to go out. I'm wondering if I am just over thinking some stuff or not, and i wanted to get some other opinions. The thing that bothers me is that even though she will respond to my texts, even though it takes a while, she never seems to initiate any conversation. Along with that she hasn't asked me to go out at all or taking the first move in hanging out or talking. When we do talk or hang out things seem to go really well, we talk/laugh/have fun, and she keeps agreeing to go out.
Like I said earlier, I have never really "dated" before with someone i didn't previously know, so is this normal sounding and I am just over-thinking things?
TL;DR: | Things are going well, but she doesn't seem to initiate. Should i be worried, or am i over-thinking? |
SUBREDDIT: r/Advice
TITLE: Parents of Reddit, were you ready when you had your first child?
POST: So I was curious as to see how many people, when having their first child, were actually ready/trying for a child or was it a happy accident. I am a worry wart, especially about finances, any probably more than I should be. The reason for this post is because recently I had a bedroom "accident" (twice within 2 weeks... thanks trojan), and I'm waiting to find out if the seed stuck or not. I've been dating my girlfriend for over a year and had already been thinking of proposing when it gets closer to our second anniversary. I'm in a good full time engineering job, and I know I'm in a better position than many friends who already have kids. But I had plans to replace my car for a more reliable one, stop renting and actually buy a house, etc.
How many of you all were set up before having a child, and how many readjusted your plans accordingly?
Sorry for the long post, and maybe its a bit personal, but honestly I sometimes feel like I'm a little over reactive or critical of things.
TL;DR: | GF may be pregnant sooner than we hoped, is this the normal situation, or do more people plan to have the kid before pregnancy? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Found out my gf (20f) cheated on me (25m) for money.
POST: So I recently found out that my girlfriend of 3 months cheated on me with a man in his 40s because of money. She confessed because she felt so guilty and she wanted to be honest with me because she thinks she loves me and couldn't live with herself if we were going to go to the next level in our relationship.
Honestly, I'm pissed but this didn't really surprise me. She had a really fucked up childhood in an emotionally abusive ultra-Christian household. She became atheist in high school and then lost her virginity and went on a sex-spree in college before we met so I definitely saw warning signs. The thing is though I know she really regrets it and I do believe her when she says how much I mean to her and that she only wants me and she knows how bad she fucked up. Her family is pretty wealthy so she didn't need the money and our sex life is very good so I don't know why she did it but she said she thought of it as a job and was grossed out by the guy but she felt like she needed to prove it to herself that she could provide for herself?
I know she has major self-worth issues and I've been trying to help. I feel like if I break up with her it will destroy her already fragile state. I can easily see her going on another sex spree and getting into some bad groups and becoming addicted to drugs, etc... But I really do care about her and was falling in love with her too. But if I forgive her it feels like I'm sending the wrong message. I just don't know how to handle this in a way that won't destroy her and there's still a large part of me that wants to forgive her but is worried about future consequences if I do...
TL;DR: | Gf cheated for money/self-worth issues. I still care about her and she regrets it very much. Don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/running
TITLE: I can run long distances, but I am SO SLOW. What did you do to fix this?
POST: Hi Guys!
I'm 20F and have been running since I was 15, never for track or xc, just for fun/exercise. My best friend and I (also 20F) usually run together and we're perfect parters: we can both run long distances (10mi or so) without any problems, but we are SNAILS. No matter if we're running 2 miles or 12 miles, it is always at a steady 10 min/mi pace. I don't mind that we run slow, but recently I have been running with my boyfriend who is a foot taller than me, and naturally just runs faster. I find myself having trouble running more than a mile and a half with him, but he can't run at my pace because he'd basically be walking. We're doing the Peachtree Road Race this July (10K) and I want to be able to run it with him at a faster pace.
What can I do to fix this?
TL;DR: | I run a 10 min/mi pace, want to start running with my boyfriend who runs a bit faster, but I am having trouble running faster for long distances. What do I do? thanks! |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [00 M/F] with my ___ [00 M/F] duration, short-description
POST: I'm 21, just a few months older than he is. We have only been dating for almost 6 months. First serious relationship for us both. Our families love each other, everything is literally PERFECT. He's financially stable, I'm still a mess financially and scholastically (still haven't graduated, in debt), but he's always so supportive of me. We love each other and I know I want to marry him. But I'm also the kind of person that sets a time to everything.
It may not make any sense but I wanted my early twenties to enjoy and date randomly and settle into my late twenties. It just makes me kind of sad that I met my BF too soon in life. I can't imagine ever settling down with anyone else but I also can't imagine settling down right now. He was a bit bummed since he was planning on proposing really soon, but I kind of threw shade at those kind of couples without knowing, so he was almost in tears since he was already planning everything. I
do love him but how can I get over having a time for everything? Like telling him "1-2 years is the "NORM" to get engaged" and just get over how it'll look to others?? Is 6-8 months considered sane enough to get engaged? I don't like the irrational part of love!!
TL;DR: | BF of 6 months wants to get engaged at what feels like too soon for me!/am I crazy for wanting to put a time to everything? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: I 21(M) Need help winning arguments with women.
POST: I could never win an argument with my ex EVER. She always knew the right thing to say to shut me up, and I always found myself thinking up responses and comebacks after the fact, instead of actually being assertive and expressing how I felt with her. But it also applies to other women in my life too. I never seem to have this problem with men because I'm not as afraid to get confrontational with them (I'm pretty into martial arts/working out so that helps me feel alot more confident being aggressive with dudes) and generally don't have much of a problem sticking up for myself in social situations. But it just seems like whenever I argue with a woman I always find myself grasping for answers and biting my tongue in a foul mood while they just smirk at me knowing I can't think of anything to say back.
"It's not nice guy VS bad guy, its strong guy VS weak guy. You want a guy who can lay it down verbally, emotionally and sexually. You need to know you can trust him when there's a crisis."
TL;DR: | I turn into a passive aggressive pussy around women and can't win verbal arguments. How do I be alpha in situations where I can't rely on muscle? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: When should I [24 M] invite my gf [23 F] over for dinner
POST: This is probably going to be a silly question but I'm making dinner for my gf of 2 months (dating 3 months) for the first time on Valentine's Day. I plan to do all of the cooking for this.
My gf has cooked dinner a few times, but each time she invites me over she hasn't gotten started when I arrive so I just kinda sit at the dining room and wait/talk to her from there. It's kinda boring because she's so focused on cooking that conversation isn't that great, but I'm not gonna complain cause hey, she's making me dinner! Is it normal to do this?
When you're making dinner for someone what time do you tell them to come over? When you anticipate dinner is almost done? Done? Before you even get started?
TL;DR: | What stage of cooking should I invite my gf over for dinner, and is inviting someone over before you get started typical? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm looking around to start seeing new people [15 M] and I've got a taker but I'm afraid if my Ex came back to me[15 F] I might give in to temptation
POST: Hello again, It's been a bit since my last post, and I've been making improvement in dealing with [my first break up with my first ex] and I feel like I'm ready to start seeing other people.
I may have a bite, and I'd like to real her in. But I'm not so sure if I should. My ex still hasn't left my mind for even a day, and to some extent I still find myself hoping we'll get back together, despite the fact she dumped me because I smoke weed (which is a fucked reason to dump someone IMO). To some extent I still have an attachment to her, and the way she acts whenever she sees me makes me think she might too.
as much as I'd like to move on, I don't know if I could resist the temptation should my ex come back to me, and I don't want to hurt someone the way my ex hurt me so much. So essentially I just need some outside perspectives, thanks in advance to everyone who took the time to read this, and comment.
TL;DR: | Might start dating again, but I'm afraid I'll give in to temptation if my ex comes back to me. Advice? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by asking a girl to prom
POST: My high school just had its prom yesterday. I asked a girl of whom I am currently friends with if she wanted to go to prom together. She said yes. I've liked this girl since grade 3 so this was probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. She's nice, smart, attractive, everything. Maybe we could connect or something and maybe progress our friendship into something else.
Anyway, at prom we didn't really talk much. I felt like starting conversation but it was all too awkward being that we were friends and we also worked together side by side at the same store. At the after party, I drove my friends to McDonald's to get some food before we drank. I called my date and asked if she wanted anything and I ended up spending $25 on chicken nuggets (she is nowhere close to being fat btw). Bringing these back to her was the most we talked all night. I was not really drunk (I get really emotional after 4 or some beers but can still do everything fine such as walking and conversing to a certain degree). At 4am that night everyone was asleep except for maybe 12 people out of the possibly 100/200+ that were there. Myself, my prom date, her friends, and my friends, and the party host's mom and dad (coolest motherfuckers I've ever met). I of course was nowhere close to talking to her though. She eventually left with her friends and I didn't even say goodbye nor did I give her a kiss. I didn't sleep at all that night because I didn't know if I fucked up or if she was cool with it cuz we were just friends and that's how she wants it.
So yeah I don't know anymore, just feel like shit. I sent her a text apologizing and saying that I thought she looked nice at prom today but her response was pretty quick and choppy. I don't know if i just fucked up the potential for us to be together or if I did good on trapping myself in the friendzone.
TL;DR: | asked a girl friend/coworker I liked since grade 3 to prom, was very awkward, I dun goof'd by not being a good prom date, almost 10 years of dreams confirmed to be KIA. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My SO (21F) of a year just told me (20M) that she loves me and an ex (23M) from three years ago. Her parents also want her to get back together with this ex.
POST: Last night my SO, Beth(21F), told me that while she did love me, Dave(20M), she was also still in love with an ex, Jack(23M), who helped her through a hard time in her life around three years ago. I had never met or heard of Jack before this. She says it's because they never really had any closure after the relationship and that he might still be "the one" for her. She also said that it should not concern me, as she loves me as well.
However it has been eating away at me since she told me and I'm not sure how I should approach her about this. I already asked why she didn't just text Jack and try to talk to him for some sort of closure after three years.
She said that she has texted him every few months, he rarely replies and never goes beyond pleasantries. However, she won't text Jack right now because she knows that Jack still loves her also.
I also found out that her parents have been telling her to meet up with Jack and get back together with him.
The conversation last night ended with her telling me not to worry because she loves me as well. I ended the conversation by telling her that I loved her and that I needed some time to think over all of the information that she had just given me.
I love this girl and hearing all of this was a big shock to me, as there had never been a hint about any of this before now. I don't know how Beth can love both Jack and I, and I don't know what I should do in this situation.
TL;DR: | my gf (21F) of a year told me(20M) she and her parents love her ex (23M) |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [29/M] girlfriend [32/F] laughs after every sentence and its getting annoying.
POST: So, to begin, we have been dating for over a year. When we first met, I thought she was really cute, and what came off as general shyness at first has worn through to some quirks that I don't know how to deal with long-term. We get along great, have a pretty solid sex life, and are happy living together, but now I feel like I'm starting to pick her apart.
What bothers me is the way she laughs or giggles after everything she says. Almost everything. When she's speaking at a normal voice, it's a laugh. When she's speaking quietly, it's that kind of snicker-giggle. At other times she acts like she's incredibly anxious around me, playing with her clothes, playing with her hair, speaking very softly through the back of her throat, almost to a whisper. She mumbles to herself a lot, and half the time I can tell its phrases she is directing at me but not projecting. I've tried saying, "Baby I can't hear you" or "You have a pretty voice when you use it" but nothing changes.
Another thing on top of the mumbling is this faint whimpering / cooing sound, very hard to describe, it comes across very dainty, childish, anxious and its frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I'm dating an 8-year old in a 32-year old's body. I know I'm probably being too picky but these little ticks and perks are more unattractive to me than if she would be the outgoing person I know she can be.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend is intelligent but mumbles and whimpers like a timid child sometimes, I'm extremely turned off by it, don't know how to address it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by telling my black friend I thought hatred to Interracial Marriage was understandable.
POST: So in the 8th grade in English class I sat next to one of my black friends in class. One day we were shown a picture about an article talking about interracial marriage. Me being the idiot I was, talked to my friend about how I understood why some people thought it was bad "I mean it is kind of weird for a black father to be seen with a bunch of white children." My friend gave me a really strange look and it was awkwardly silent between me and him.
I thought nothing about it until a week later I end up getting called up by my teacher. She tells me "So I heard you were saying some pretty racist remarks." I looked at her confused and denied her claim. "So you didn't tell _____ that interracial marriage was wrong?" I responded "Oh that, I didn't mean it in a racist way, I just think it was understandable why people might be against it."
She looked stunned and said "I am going to move your seat away from him so you don't say things like that again okay?" I totally hated her because I thought she was being unfair because I didn't see anything wrong with what I said.
Looking back this was extremely cringe worthy that for one; I thought it was okay to hate interracial marriage. And two, I thought it was okay to tell a black friend that I thought it was understandable. **Where the hell did I go wrong with my past self?**
I am just glad that he forgot about it, and is still really good friends with me.
TL;DR: | Told a black friend I understood why some people hate interracial marriage, and got my seat moved away from him. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [21F] met a guy [23M] online, who lives in a different state. We're planning to meet up. What due diligence should I do to make sure I'm safe?
POST: A few weeks ago, I started talking to a guy online. We got along amazingly well and exchanged information to talk over the phone. It's been an unimaginable connection for both of us - talking or texting hours a day, with nothing comparable in past relationships. (I know I sound like an infatuated teenager, but whatever).
We decided we want to meet up in real life. We'll be doing it in about a month. Likely he will fly to my hometown to visit me, although I mentioned I'd be open to going to his hometown instead.
Thus far, we have exchanged some pictures and Skype information (although we have yet to video-chat, just because of weird sleep/work schedules -- we plan to when that'll be possible). He doesn't use social media, so no accounts there. Although I feel very close to this guy and want to trust him, obviously I don't want to put myself at risk by meeting up with a person I've never met before who lives across the country.
Is there anything I should do/double-check/ask for/verify/whatever to make sure everything will go, like, safely? And, beyond safety, anything I should consider relationship-wise before meeting him in real life?
TL;DR: | Hit it off with a guy online who lives far away and am planning on meeting him in person. What should I do to make sure I'm safe? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [20 M] am turning 21 in a few weeks; I haven't kissed a girl yet.
POST: Long story short: I am turning 21 without ever having kissed a girl. Getting dates is not really a problem. It's just that I apparently do not flirt/come on hard enough. And that all romantic cues go right above my head.
As with the most recent girl, she seemed to like me. Even my roommate seemed to pick up on her behavior toward me. Hell, she even invited me over to her thanksgiving dinner; her family loved me. But apparently, she just wants to be friends. Whats up with that?
Bottom line, how do I be more aware of romantic cues and how do I flirt?
TL;DR: | I'm a kiss less virgin at the age of 21. What is wrong? How can I learn the ways of being a man? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by needing a phone.
POST: So, mandatory "this didn't happen today". It was about thirteen years ago, I was 9 years old. One day, my dad decided to go and grab some cereal while I was asleep. He *apparently* forgot to turn off his alarm. While he's gone, the alarm wakes me up. Naturally, being 9 years old, I get scared, both from the loud alarm and my dad being gone. I'm trying frantically to figure out where he is. My brain immediately goes to "He must have been kidnapped!" Not having my phone, I run outside. I don't know why, but I must have been scared off by the increasingly loud alarm. I spot an old lady across the street. I run up behind her, and yell "Can I use your phone!" She looks scared, and starts to run. I get confused, and it's only years later that I realized it looked like I was trying to mug her. Thankfully, instead of running after her, I see my dad's truck pulling in. I got in a lot of trouble for being outside when my dad wasn't there. But it wasn't over. About thirty minutes later, the cops show up, her in tow. She threatened to press charges, but we explained and she apologized for the trouble. I also apologized, but you can guess the trouble I was in.
TL;DR: | Dad leaves without telling me, I freak out and attempt to steal an old lady's phone. Lady returns with cops. I got in a lot of trouble. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Traveling on plane with Desktop?
POST: Hey reddit,I am traveling to Arizona from New York permanently due to family issues. I want to bring my gaming desktop with me and shipping it is not an option. The harddrive also has work-related data on it.
What I thought to do is to take out all the parts and packaging them into anti-static bags with bubble wrap onto a box to put in a backpack, the motherboard has it's original packaging which can fit in the backpack too, i will then carry the Backpack infront of me with the LCD monitor in my hands(I have someone with me on the flight so it counts as two carry-ons).
I will put the empty case within my suitcase, packed with pillows and clothing unless I can get a desktop box from a friend.
My question to you Reddit is, Will the case be damaged and will I be allowed through security with carry-on parts and a flatscreen 24 inch monitor?
TL;DR: | Bringing desktop and monitor with me, parts and monitor as carryon; case as checked luggage, will it work without damage? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Should I [26]m sabotage a night between a guy cheating and the woman I love... who doesn't want to be with me
POST: Bit of a long one... but I'll try to keep it short and concise.... maybe bullets will help.
- I've been in a relationship for 5 years with a girl called Eleanor
- I accidently kissed a girl who's friends with Eleanor called Jane at the Christmas party...
- I saw her a few times and fell madly in love... (I know what a bad person that makes me) as she did with me, but couldn't bring myself to break it off with Eleanor... I felt that our relationship needed me to give it a really good last try.
Fast forward on a 2 months and I ignored Jane... to try to be with Eleanor. To try to make it work. Then I saw her again... and it was like 'boom'. I haven't felt this way since I was 17. We had an incredible day together :( which I still feel really guilty about.
Then I tell Jane that I'm ready to leave Eleanor to be with her... the only trouble is, she says she's fallen out of love with me... and fallen for another guy [Jason] who is SO similar to me it's unreal.
He's got a girlfriend of 3 years - and has never cheated.
But tonight he's snuck away from home without his girlfriend knowing to spend the next 3 nights with Jane...
It feels right now, like my only chance of ever being with Jane is if this new relationship-ling fails. :( I love her.
So the question is, guys and girls of Reddit, do I anonymously tip off Jason's current girlfriend that he's going to cheat on her tonight? Or do I just have to go to asleep thinking of them fucking :(
TL;DR: | A guy is about to cheat on his girlfriend of 3 years tonight with the woman I love - do I tip off his girlfriend in an attempt to sabotage it? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My sister [20F] described to me a really weird and threatening encounter she had with my [18M] girlfriend [18F] of 6 months. I asked my girlfriend about it, she said it was just a "joke", but my sister is genuinely disturbed.
POST: Like the title says, been together for 6 months. She was at our house the other day, and my sister tells me this is what happened.
Apparently in the corridors upstairs, my girlfriend ambushed my sister and pretty much cornered her and started interrogating her. From what my sister told me, she was saying "back off, he's mine now, not yours" "he doesn't love you like he loves me" "you don't understand him like I do" "you'll never be able to please him the way I do, so just back off" "stay out of our way" "I don't care if you love him, he's mine" "I know what you two do, back off, he's mine now" "whatever you think you two have, its nothing compared to what me and him have" and a bunch of other stuff I can't remember.
Apparently it was in a very aggressive and threatening manner, my sister said she was really scared, and felt totally threatened and creeped out.
I asked my girlfriend about it, she said it was just a joke and asked if my sister found it funny. I said no, she was really disturbed, she just said "oh well".
I'm genuinely scared. I know my girlfriend can be a bit possessive and clingy at times, but its always kind of cute, never this creepy. She can get a bit nasty and angry at other girls who get too "close" but this shit is way too far. Does she have a mental illness? Is she crazy? Should I just run or can I work with this? How can I reassure my sister that she's safe cause she's kinda freaked out.
TL;DR: | Girlfriend threatened and cornered my sister, played it off as a "joke". Sister genuinely creeped out. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: What's the worst way you've been screwed over by believing in good faith?
POST: I guess I'll start. I'm a university student currently doing software engineering (currently in 2nd year). Last summer I decided to look for a job and got involved with some guy who was creating his own mobile gaming company. Things quickly progressed and I became one of the founding members and owned 13% of the company.
Let's fast forward to now, I decided to leave the company as my social life become non-existent as all my time was taken up by university and working for this company. I've put over 1100 hours of work for free in the hopes of getting paid one day. I'm willing to sell my shares for £8000, I understand that the company can't pay me now so I'm willing to hold on to the shares until they can buy them off me.
I just got an email from the lawyer saying that the share holders agreement was "never validly executed" and that they are going to "wind up" the company if I don't transfer my shares. Essentially they will just make a new company, transfer all the rights and stuff to it, and close this company down. This would leave me with nothing.
TL;DR: | decided to start a startup with a guy. I decide to leave after a year, he leaves me with nothing and I legally can't do anything about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I once took a ziplock, added some sugar coated gummy candy for bait, farted the grossest fart in it, sealed it closed and left it on the coffee table to try to get my unsuspecting husband to happen upon it and get buttercupped. Reddit, what is the grossest thing you've done to someone?
POST: Well, the reaction didn't go quite as planned. Some other items were on the coffee table so I forgot about my sneaky plan. Either later on that day or the following day, I walked into the living room and saw him eating the candy. I said stop eating the candy immediately and he asked why. I tell him and he proceeds to spit out what was in his mouth and drops the rest of the piece he had bitten into (they were 4 silver dollar sized candies). He said, 'Oh My God. Why did you do that? They tasted awful.' He continued to try to spit out any drop of saliva in his mouth and then washed his mouth out with water.
Apparently, the candy I used absorbed my fart and he tasted it. I felt bad. I wasn't sure if I gave him any illness etc. Luckily nothing happened.
So, what is your gross story - can you top that (this probably shouldn't be a good thing)?
TL;DR: | I farted in ziplock with candy, candy absorbed my fart and husband accidently ate candy and tasted my fart. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Has anyone else suffered from an itchy butt - for TEN years?
POST: Reddit obviously this is a throwaway.
So ten years or so ago I woke up in my college dorm room with an itchy behind. Nothing unusual you might think, happens to most of us. And I'm a clean guy - so I thought that a quick shower and a sprinkle of baby powder would put that butt-itch to bed. Nope.
It continued to itch for a couple of days and so I bit the bullet and decided to go and see a doctor. After looking at my imperfect posterior the doc said that some how the area around my butt hole had become inflamed, and recommended that I apply Daktacort (a hydrocortisone) twice daily for 6 days and the problem should go away.
At first it seemed to do the trick. I could sleep and wasn't scratching. But this sweet relief was short lived. After a couple of weeks the itching returned with renewed intensity; it now felt as though whatever this was had an agenda. It wanted me to scratch and it wanted to keep me awake.
If anyone has ever had a chronic itch you will know what I mean by this. It is absolute misery. You can't sleep, you can't relax, you can't help but scratch - even though you know that you are more than likely spreading whatever it is that you have.
So I've visited multiple doctors over the years, tried multiple different treatments, de-wormed myself, used non-scented shower products and soaps, used talcum powder, cornstarch powder, white vinegar, shaved my ass, grown my ass hair, used wet wipes, moved to a different country, changed my diet, cut out spicy foods, cut out dairy foods - and yet the problem persists. It disappears for a while, but always, always returns.
Reddit, sincerely, help a brother out.
TL;DR: | My ass started to itch whilst I was at college and despite various treatments continues to feel like a thousand fiery ants are parading on my pooper. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Retail workers of reddit: I have hateful coworkers. Is it always like this in retail?
POST: I have been in and out of retail since High School, so I am familiar with the fact that 'drama' happens at every store. However, my current coworkers seem hateful and aggressive. My strategy has always been to quietly do my job and avoid attracting attention. I don't like making mistakes, so I try to do a good job. It only seems fair, since I am being paid to do a good job. This strategy has always kept my retail experiences fairly uneventful, but at this particular store it's definitely not working. In the year that I've been there I've been promoted twice. This would be great, but I have encountered a good deal of hostility over the fact that I was given responsibilities that people who have been there longer feel they deserve. At any rate, the hostility was tolerable at first but has rapidly been getting worse. It went from people just not liking me because of my attitude towards work (I'm there to do my job, not hate on the people I work with) to jokes about me being the favorite. Even that was tolerable. Now it's progressed to sexual harassment (jokes and rumors that I must be sleeping with my supervisor.) I'm not the only one who has to deal with this - they openly make the same inappropriate comments about the head cashier in front of me. I realize that it's time for me to talk to one of my managers about this, so that's not really what I want advice on. In the end I'm just wondering if it's like this everywhere. I can't remember people being this immature and unprofessional at any other retail job I have had, so...is it like this everywhere? Does stuff like this happen at most/all retail stores? Is retail just the kind of job that attracts the kind of people that I find myself working with?
TL;DR: | My coworkers are unrepentant douche bags that harass me daily, is it always like this in retail? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: [20/f] My boyfriend (26/m) thinks I stay over too much.
POST: We are both really busy (especially my bf) and the only way we can see each other during the week is to spend the night together. Even on weekends, we usually have heaps of assignments to do so we can't really go out.
We spend about 4 nights a week together I think? And it's mostly me staying over at his. I LOVE sleeping next to him. It's almost ridiculous how much I like it.
He's recently told me (twice) that I shouldn't stay over too much so I can study more. He's afraid that I spend too much time with him and procrastinate studying.
I'm glad that he told me what he was thinking and I understand that he wants me to do well at uni, I even told him to tell me straight away if he ever feels like I'm over too often as I respect his place.
But now that I have him saying that to me, I feel like the whole world is going to end D: I feel like a child who lost her favourite toy.
We can't date like we used to anymore as he has no time to go out nor can afford it. I miss going for a walk or coffee in the evenings and the alternative I found is to spend nights with him so I can at least see his face and talk a bit. Sleeping next to him was pretty much the only activity(?) I can do with him during the week and it's frustrating that I have to cut it down.
I understand in my head, that I should suck it up and study hard, but I'm really sad that I can't spend many nights with him anymore. Like, what are we if we don't date or spend the nights together?
I don't know what to do as I'm afraid I'd sound clingy/childish if I told him what I feel like.
TL;DR: | Boyfriend told me that I stay over too much but I like spending nights with him too much to cut it down. What should I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [24 M/F]; should I text long-lost crush after reaching out to her over FB?
POST: I used to be really interested in a girl that I was friends with. We both lived in a big town down south. She made me work for it, but we eventually started going on small dates. After several months of this, she had to move far away. Unfortunately, we lost touch.
Recently, I saw that she just returned to our town after years of being gone, so I decided to reach out over Facebook. The conversation went well, and at the end I proposed that we meet for a drink in a couple weeks. She responded enthusiastically.
I go to reach out to her again on FB, and I see that she deleted her account.
I am interested in seeing her, but can't contact her over Facebook. I still have her number from way back when, but I am reluctant to text her. Is that creepy? Would she be freaked out? Need guidance here!!
TL;DR: | Haven't talked to old crush in years. Reached out over Facebook and tentatively set up a date. She deletes her Facebook. Should I text her? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 F] with my boyfriend [21 M] of 1 year. I watched his porn videos. I don't know what to do.
POST: When we started dating, my boyfriend told me that he used to do porn. He was very honest about his motives for doing it and his experiences. He told me that it stopped right after I accepted to go out with him.
I can't even describe how much it shocked me to learn that this seemingly completely "nerdy" guy with whom I attended lectures, had a secret life that nobody knew, but it didn't change my feelings toward him. He only asked me one thing: never to watch them. I reluctantly gave my promise.
His honesty and trustworthiness have helped me deal with my issues with intimacy stemming from childhood abuse. He makes me feel loved, respected and secure. And finally, after all these years, I felt that I was ready to be with him.
Then, I did something that I should not have done. I wanted to please him after making him wait all this time. I wanted to see what he liked. And I started watching his videos. It turns out that he was right to ask me not to.
The ones that are grouped under "female friendly", where he kisses and caresses the women... My stomach burned with jealousy.
The hardcore bdsm ones... Seeing him pushing, slapping and spitting on these women scared and aroused me at the same time. Some felt too real.
And the women. How can I possibly compare to these goddesses?
I know it's not real, but why does it hurt so much? I wish I wasn't this messed up. None of this is his fault. He shouldn't be wasting his time with me.
TL;DR: | I watched my boyfriend's porn. I am overwhelmed with insecurity, jealousy, fear, grief. Please help me find a way to deal with it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My [22 F] gay, best friend wants to adopt my baby. I am [19 F].
POST: I broke up with my boyfriend and had to move back home with my mom. I fell pregnant and have been thinking about getting an abortion. My female friend is a lesbian and wants to adopt the child. She said she will end the friendship if I don't.
My appointment to terminate is tomorrow. Not sure what I should do.
Keeping the baby will mean strain on me, prevent me from going to college next semester, likely affect my health and ability to have kids. I am on medications that I cannot take while pregnant that keep me from having mental break downs.
I don't want to hurt her, she is like my sister, but I cannot carry this child to term. How do I break it to her gently?
TL;DR: | Best friend is gay and wants me to give her my child. I cannot because of medical issues. She doesn't understand, says she will end friendship over it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Is Anyone Else Just as Scared as I am That We as Humans Have Taken Natural Selection Almost Completely Out of Our Gene Pool?
POST: Seriously:
We don't want anyone we like to die. Everyone is supposed to "live a long full life". We try to save nearly every life, sometimes to extremes, when someone has in our mind been unfairly taken out of the game too early. I think our compassion for fellow humans (excepting the death penalty) is putting an unnecessary strain on the species as a whole. We feel like we're above death, and the world population is increasing rapidly. Will we as humans ever realize that some of us need to be culled from the herd so to speak in order to maintain a healthy species?
TL;DR: | Sick or "not too bright" people used to die earlier and were less likely to reproduce because of that. They don't anymore for the most part. I think it's a problem. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: (21 M) Question about being happy while single
POST: Hi guys, I have a bit of a difficult question today.
A little background: I am a 21 year old male that has never had literally any romantic/sexual success with girls before. I feel like this is a heavy burden on me, and it makes me feel inadequate and worthless most of the time. I realize that this feeling/energy will likely come out in any social interaction I have, and will probably scare off any sane girl that I am interested in, which leads me to my question.
How can I learn to be happy by myself? I feel like getting laid (hell, even my first kiss would be great at this point) or getting a steady girlfriend would massively improve my general happiness and self-esteem, even though I know deep down that this would not solve my issues, and they would carry over into the relationship.
TL;DR: | What are some things/steps that I can do to start becoming happier with myself and my life, and less reliant on validation from girls? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I (20 F) cheated on my boyfriend (20 M) and need advice.
POST: My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 6 months, I've never been in a serious relationship and when I realized I love him I kind of freaked out. Let's just say growing up I was exposed to many less than healthy relationships and I guess that messed with my trust
Last night I went to a party without my boyfriend and got sufficiently hammered. Another guy kind of caught me off guard and kissed me, we kissed for less than a minute then I left and ignored him for the rest of the night. I think I did it to kind of test what I'm feeling for my current boyfriend does that make sense to anybody?
Today I feel just dreadful. I would do anything to go back and change it but I obviously can't. Any advice would be super helpful to me right now. It's almost impossible my boyfriend will find out on his own but should I tell him? He would almost definitely break up with me but maybe I deserve that.
TL;DR: | Fell in love with first boyfriend, kissed another guy at a party and now I feel so guilty I can hardly handle it. Has anyone else been through this? |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Why is it fine to encourage someone who's socially inhibited to be more outgoing, but seemingly nonsensical to encourage someone who's outgoing to be more socially inhibited?
POST: All my life I've been the quiet one. I don't care for parties or any other type of gathering, even if it's with only my family. I have a few good friends (only enough to count on one hand though). I don't really talk all that much, and I'm kind of the speaks-only-when-spoken-to type. And all my life I've been led to believe that this means I'm broken, that I need to be fixed. People say I need to get out more, be around people more, talk more.
And I used to believe them. But now I feel like it's a slap in my face. No one ever tells someone who is really outgoing to have less friends and be quieter and spend more time by them self. Why, then, does it make it okay to do the opposite? Why am *I* the broken one because I'm quiet? Why do *I* have to mold myself to fit someone else's idea of the right way to be?
I'm probably not explaining this well, I'm just bothered that people always tell me that I need to be more social. Well, it's not in my nature to be social and it's not fair for society to view me as "wrong" because of it.
Maybe this is the wrong place to post this because I'm feeling like I'm starting to vent now. Apologies. I just wanted to hear reddit's take on the matter.
TL;DR: | I'm a quiet person by nature, but society says I need to be more social, which bothers me. Why do *I* have to be more social when people who are social don't have to be quieter like me? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] with my girlfriend [18F] of 9 months, I got to spend Valentine's day being told that I care way more about her than she cares about me.
POST: I was super excited for Valentine's day, because she's been acting so distant lately and she told me she was excited to spend time with me. My therapist and some close friends told me I needed to talk to her about the problems in our relationship.
We saw Deadpool, and it was fun, but then I had to talk to her.
It's not really ever been any secret that I care way more about her than she cares about me. When we got in the car I wanted to go back to her house (which I had thought was always the plan), but she told me she didn't want to, and neither of us knew what to do so there was an awkward silence and we started talking about our relationship (like I was advised to do).
We had a long conversation (about 2 hours) in which she finally came out with the fact that I care a lot more about her than she cares about me. She said I'm important and that she cares about me but that she just also has tons of other people in her life she cares about.
I really don't have anyone. I have two emotionally unavailable best friends, parents who don't understand me at all and have been abusive to me throughout my life. She's really the only person who's come into my life that I trust and care about, and that sounds dumb and cliche
She changed plans and said she wants to head back to her room by herself for a while, then meet up for dinner later.
I'm really upset and can't go back to my room because my roommate (mildly and asshole) is there.
I'm sitting in the hallway of my dorm about to cry and I don't know what to do. I care about her a lot, and she's had a ridiculously big impact on my life. I don't want to break up with her and realistically I won't.
Is there any way I can feel better about this?
TL;DR: | I care about my girlfriend a lot more than she cares about me and now I'm sitting outside my room feeling like crying but I have nowhere to go. |
SUBREDDIT: r/offmychest
TITLE: I started an internship that I thought would be awesome, but I hate it
POST: The first internship I applied to would've been perfect, I loved it from start to finish, but they hired somebody else. So I started looking around and found the one I am at now. I study communication, and I really like doing creative work in groups, at first I thought that was what I would be doing in this company. The company makes a monthly magazine about music, I thought it was going to be the best. But on my very first day I immediately understood why I didn't get to see the office when I had my interview. It is a incredibly small office, with only three people, including me. I'm sat in this office with the boss, and another intern. Working in teams is definitely not happening. I don't really mind a small office, it can be really close and comfortable, but there is no comfortable atmosphere whatsoever. There's more small things that bother me as well, like the fact that what I'm actually supposed to do really differs from what they asked for in the ad.
Here is what really bothers me about this situation. My school has an option to switch internships if the one you're doing doesn't fit you well. I'm really considering this, and I just know this will be the better option to do. But to be honest, I'm kind of afraid of the boss at my current internship. He runs the magazine mostly by himself, so he really depends on me as an intern. But all my friends at school who are also interns talk to me about their amazing experiences and what they have already learned. It feels like they are having awesome experiences, whilst I'm just doing work for an intimidating man.
I already mailed my mentor from school, but she can't really help me yet. She still isn't fully instructed by school, so for now I have to wait. It might not surprise you that I wrote this entire story while I'm at my internship, just to kill some time. Thanks for listening, sorry if the story is a little weirdly written, I'm just a simple Dutch guy.
TL;DR: | I want to quit my internship, but the guy I'm an intern for scares me and school can't help me yet |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 F] with my __friend_ [21 M] of 5 months, should I move on?
POST: My friend approached me back in October or late September in a class we both have together. I developed feelings for him and we always sit together in the class we have. He took me on a date to the movies one time, which he insisted he pay for (which is the most only way I actually figured out it was a date) and then again after we had a test he took me out to eat one night last week (which he also insisted on paying for).
We didn't kiss on the dates, and he said something last week that left me puzzled. He was telling me how he's dating right now because with school he doesn't have time to committ to a girlfriend. So now I'm wondering what the point is... Or what he's thinking :s
I havent liked anyone like this in a really long time. I usually don't develop feelings anymore for guys. Now that I like him I feel so confused and as if I'm waiting for something. I'm always hoping to run into him on campus and thinking of him.
But at the same time, I don't want to misinterpret his intentions or become too attached or feel to strongly about him because I've been thinking that maybe this is all he wants: to stay friends.
What's even more confusing is the fact that he invited me to this speed-dating thing the other day, which he ended up not going to (we just hung out instead)
TL;DR: | I like a guy who sometimes makes me feel like he likes me, and other times make me feel like a friend. Should i move on? What do I make of this situation? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: (M/20) Cheated on for the first time. Could use some advice...or anything really.
POST: I had been in a long-term relationship with my S/O for about four years on and off, starting in high school. I moved to another city for college, she stayed home. We still saw each other and made it work as well as we could. She had never cheated on me, but the bastard that I am had cheated on her earlier in the relationship. It made me feel terrible, and I cleaned up my act. I didn't look at other women, I didn't speak with other women, and I always did my best to be there for her when I could. It's hard to do this for me, because I'm in a fraternity here at my college, and social presence is particularly important in our organization; especially with the ladies.
So this past weekend, she calls me Sunday morning and tells me she went out with some friends, got drunk, and hooked up with someone. Immediately my heart plummeted. I didn't know how to react. I felt like shit. And then she tells me it was with one of my friends back home.
I can't scrape the mental image out of my head of this guy I've known for years, thrusting in to my (ex)girlfriend, and her moaning and loving it. I don't know how to cope with it all, so I've been drinking heavily since so I don't have to think about it much. I feel alone, scared, hurt, angry, and it's made me want to re-evaluate my friendships back home and my perspective on women as a whole.
I don't know. I'm just really hurt and feel like I can't talk to anyone around here about it. I'm closing myself off and I don't know what to do or say or feel. So I figured I'd just throw this out here; maybe someone can give me advice on what I do from here. Because I'm lost in a haze of hurt, regret, anger, and guilt from my own cheating experiences.
TL;DR: | My on-and-off girlfriend of 4 years got drunk, fucked my good friend, and now I don't know what to do. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [18 M] Freshman in college looking for a serious relationship, but not finding anyone. Considering online websites, but I am not sure. Please help.
POST: I would like to start out by saying that I am a relationship person. I like loving someone and doing all that romantic stuff, but am not finding anyone who I am attracted to at college who isn't already in a relationship or a isn't a partier/sleeps around. I have been out of my last relationship (1.5 years) for two months and am miserably lonely.
(I have been using this extra time to improve myself mentally/physically, but I still really miss a relationship)
I am considering online websites to find people who are looking for what I am, but there is a HUGE social stigma that follows doing that. My first relationship was a tinder one which only lasted a few weeks, and I was tortured by my friends for this. Now that I am back looking for someone and not finding it in college, I am considering online websites, but am not sure. What is the stigma around it now? Do websites yield good results? Which ones?
For some basic information of myself, I'm 6'4', very athletic (work out 2hrs/day) and am relatively smart. I've been told that by many girls I am a 7.5/10, but that my personality is pretty good. I just can't seem to find the right person yet, and am desperately lonely.
Sorry if I repeated myself, but basically should I make online accounts, which websites should I look into if I were to do that? Or should I wait it out, give it more time, and keep searching for someone in college?
TL;DR: | In college looking for a serious relationship, but not finding anyone. I have predispositions to online websites to look for people but wondering if it has changed/is acceptable. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22M] in love with my girlfriend [21F]. I'm breaking up with her this week. Am I being irrational?
POST: Things went amazingly at first with my girlfriend. We clicked immediately from the first date, and it was really perfect. She said I love you way too soon, which freaked me out a bit but it wasn't a huge deal for me. I quickly fell in love as well. About a week ago, she went to a party with all of her friends. I don't think she cheated on me, but I can't help but notice that she's been distant since that night. I asked her if she had been having second thoughts, and she said no, she was just worried things moved too fast, and she didn't want to break up. She continued to be distant (not replying for hours, and giving 1 to 2 word replies when she did) so I again asked her about it. She got upset and said that talking about it is exhausting. She said that while she enjoys her quiet time, she also enjoys me. I felt better after this conversation, but she only got more distant since then. She won't hold a conversation anymore, she's always too busy to hang out (which is understandable, she's moving and doing summerschool at the moment). I feel like an insecure miserable wreck. I went to the gym today, which always cheers me up, but it didn't work. I want to break up with her for my own happiness. I can't be with someone who doesn't give a shit about me. Am I being irrational here?
TL;DR: | girlfriend is very distant, swears nothing is wrong. Something is clearly wrong, and I'm breaking up with her because she won't talk to me. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I [24M] love my girlfriend of 8 months [24F] but I'm not IN love with her.
POST: Hopefully I don't get too much backlash for saying there's a difference but as the title says, I love my girlfriend but I'm not in love with her. She's an amazing person and treats me better than I probably deserve. I love her attitude about life, her quirkiness, we like a lot of the same things, etc. Her and I say I love you to each other, which in my mind I justify with my explanation above. Unfortunately I've never had that "I'll do anything for you, I'm madly in love with you" feeling that I've experienced in a previous relationship.
She has had a lot of short relationships in the past and hasn't had much luck until ours. She has worked really hard to be a great girlfriend and definitely is. And when she says she loves me and just by the way she carries herself, I can tell she is in love with me.
I've never been in this position before, and the fact that I have had a previous experience that made me smile uncontrollably and want to scream I love you from a mountaintop, makes it more difficult that I'm not feeling that now. Is this just me becoming an adult, realizing love as a teenager isn't the same as in a mature relationship? Maybe I'm jaded to love because I've lost it before?
Long story short, do you think what I'm saying is complete bs or maybe you've also felt this way about someone? Is it fair to her to stay in this relationship if this is how I feel?
TL;DR: | I'm not in love with my girlfriend like I've felt with someone else before and I'm not sure what to do about it. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I'm [22F] having a hard time recently with missing my ex [24M]. We broke up a year ago.
POST: I broke up with him february 2014 because we had been long distance for 9 months and had started arguing a lot. He was studying abroad at the time and when I broke up with him he immediately started dating his roommate there. They ended breaking up after 6 months due to distance also (they lived in different countries).
I didn't talk to him for 9 months but last december I reached out to him because I missed him. We have been talking since, but it's a bit one sided. He will only talk to me if I text him first. We have had some good conversations and I've told him I still have feelings for him and asked if we could have a second chance. He has told me that he doesn't want to say yes and get my hopes up because he doesn't know where he will be in the coming years (he's trying to move abroad for work).
We live four hours away and he is very busy with work. He has always had a problem with distance and I think that is a big factor in him not really pursuing anything with me now. However, I find myself missing him terribly from time to time. Our relationship wasn't perfect and there was some bad with the good, but I do miss him. I'm open to dating someone else, but I haven't met anyone new that I connect with the way I connected with him. I'm just suddenly feeling very depressed about the situation and don't know what to do to move forward.
TL;DR: | Broke up with my ex a year ago and missing him a lot recently, but don't think he wants to get back together because we live four hours away. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [23 F] with my boyfriend[30 M] of 2 years, I snooped and found out he has lied about our relationship (says we are over) and has met up with his ex [24 F]
POST: We have been long distance for a year, before that we lived together for a year. I thought things were going great - turns out the feeling isn't mutual. He confronted me about feeling "uncomfortable of how much I've changed" about a month ago. I was shocked but it helped me understand how I could be a better partner. Now, a month later, there has been some family drama on both sides (family illness and fights), so that has made us both somewhat more stressed. I asked him if he still felt uncomfortable about me. He didn't deny it. He said that it's an issue which we can deal with later.
This made me suspicious. Either he can accept me for who I am, or then not. Then I did something I regret - I read his Facebook messages. He has been telling a friend that he isn't seeing me. He's also been flirtatiously chatting with an ex girlfriend. He told me he could never be friends with an ex, so I found this very alarming. Turns out they met in his home town a two weeks ago, and are now meeting where he lives. They've talked about me, and he said "The long distance thing has basically collapsed. But that was expected." The last message is them talking about his address and about having everything packed for swimming.
I don't know if they're having an affair. No reason why they couldn't be.
I am scared, and I don't know how to confront him.
TL;DR: | Long distance boyfriend has been chatting up an ex (without telling me!), they hang out, perhaps there's more. Also he told the ex and another friend that we are not together anymore. Should I confront him? How? |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by calling someone a thief?
POST: Well I've done many fudge ups in my life but this actually happened a couple hours ago..I've been friends (we aren't close anymore though) with this girl, let's call her Mary, for years; Mary loves books and writing her own stories, etc. Well in the past I've let her borrow books but Mary just has never given them back. At first when I would ask her for them back she'd tell me oh I need to finish reading them..well okay, years later I gave up on asking about those books, we moved on in life and I forgot all about them.
Here is the fudge up: Recently, Mary has been wanting to hang out and while we're at my house looking for a movie to watch she digs up a movie called The Book Thief, she says "Ohh you have this movie!" I said "Oh yeah I love it!"[Now please know I had truly forgotten our past events with the "book borrowing"] and I continue to say "That movie reminded me of you" and her face changed from a cheerful smile to a face I never thought I'd see..then said "Wow...um.."(she was trying to look busy now, sorting the dvds)...that's when I remembered..she still had my books and then I continued to say ohh noo I mean the girl stole the books because she loved reading like you do..but it was just awkward afterwards.
TL;DR: | Let an old friend borrow my books, years past and I basically called her a thief. There goes that friendship we were trying to rekindle. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: [21m] just started dating [20f], going out of my mind with worry.
POST: Was told to post this here from dating_advice.
I've been in quite a few long, healthy relationships. However none of them ever made me feel this way. When I had started dating these girls I probably wouldn't have given it much thought if they didn't develop past the first few dates.
Now, someone recently messaged me on an OkCupid account that I had largely forgotten about, and the other day we met up and spent the day together. I've never met anybody I love so many things about. She has the same interests as me, has the same tastes as me, is introverted like me, and I could go on and on. She's friendly, really smart, and makes me laugh a lot. I thought the date went well, and we're planning on hanging out again on Saturday (she seemed enthusiastic). But now I've been a nervous wreck the past day. I feel like this would be the perfect relationship for me and I'd be devastated if it didn't work out. She's given no signs that it ISN'T working, but now I'm over-analyzing every little detail and worrying over them. I'm driving myself crazy.
TL;DR: | Met the perfect girl for me, went well, but am worrying over probably nonexistent problems and am extremely worried about messing this up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any "Dirty Work" style revenge experts out there? I have a situation...
POST: I work at a very *very* popular restaurant in my town, and the owner is the worst person I have ever met (and I met George W. Bush once). She's horrible and mean, and even called all of us "worthless" before. And she has this habit of continuously changing everything for the worse, putting extra pressure on all of us so that the job is a nightmare.
An example of her bitchiness: Today she called a meeting for 3 hrs. before we open (yes, daylight savings and a Sunday), showed up late, verbally abused us for an hour, and then took home the extra donuts WE bought for ourselves for the meeting (like she would ever supply breakfast)!
Here's the thing....we could easily put her out of business with a few phone calls (yes, she's *that* crooked), but I don't want to cost all of my co-workers their jobs. These people are the best I've ever had the opportunity to work with. Everyone there is seriously hard-working and awesome.
However, THIS BITCH MUST PAY!!!!! She's already paying karmically, being the repulsive succubus that she is, and slowly putting herself out of business...but I want her to learn directly that she can't get away with treating people this way.
So, short of contacting various officials and having her assets seized and her restaurant closed, what can I do?
TL;DR: | My boss is a terrible, horrible person who needs to pay, What, short of putting her out of business, can I do to get revenge? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationship_advice
TITLE: Problems dealing with personal issues. Jealousy and anger.
POST: So I met a girl at college. We're really good friends that share a LOT of things in common. I'm gonna be honest, I've never been in love with anyone before. I hate people. I really do. But she's different. She's the one person in this world I think I can be myself around. Really, she's everything to me.
Anyways, I was on my tumblr today and I saw her post something about going to dinner with another guy. I know that she's had a crush on him for a long time (they're gamer friends). The rest of the post basically said that she said "no" to the dinner and now she's regretting doing so. She says that the guy doesn't have a romantic interest in her and she's struggling with that.
Seeing this has made me feel super jealous. I can't feel anything but deep sadness right now. I love her with all my heart. That's NOT an easy thing for me to admit.
I've communicated my feelings for her to her in the past. Basically, we've been playing the "wait and see" game. It's driving me bonkers. What's happening to me? I don't like feeling this way at all.
Reddit, what should I do?!? HALP!
TL;DR: | Girl I like is crushing on other guys, she knows how I feel about her and it's making me feel awful! What should I do?!? |
SUBREDDIT: r/dating_advice
TITLE: Complicated Work Relationship - Need advice
POST: Not sure where to post this...so I apologize ahead of time.
Back story: 23 fresh grad moved to city for a job. I haven't met many friends except for a few.
I met this girl at my work (who works in HR), she is a couple years older than me, and I can't tell if I'm over thinking all these signals, or if it's just a friend zone thing. I need some advice on handling the situation.
I've been talking to her for a few weeks now, and we've been casually talking at work, and we've met up twice outside of work. Once was after work for coffee, and the second time was at a local bar where I was with some of my friends. I found out she had a boyfriend after we met a few times. I didn't think anything of our 'relationship' until today.
Yesterday she had asked for help putting some furniture together, I said I couldn't and I would today. I get to her house tonight and we put together this book shelf, nothing too crazy but I had brought up her boyfriend and how they should visit New Orleans, she quickly said she'd go with friends instead and completing disregarding she had a BF. All in all I had a great night just hanging out with her. Throughout the entire night we couldn't help but make sexual jokes while building the shelf (pretty hard not to).
The real reason I'm posting is that if she has a BF (assuming she does and my chances are limited), how do I not become so attached to her as a person? Like I said above, I haven't met many people here, and I don't want to cling to her because I'm emotionally vulnerable.
Any advice on how to avoid getting fired from my job/acting like an idiot/becoming emotionally attached would be great!
TL;DR: | Recently moved, met a chick from work, getting mixed signals that I can't interpret. Don't want to fuck the situation up. |
SUBREDDIT: r/weddingplanning
TITLE: Father/Daughter dance help
POST: FH insists on a Mother/Son dance (which is awesome because I adore my FMIL) but that leaves me with a predicament regarding a Father/Daughter dance.
First off, YES, I have daddy issues. I'm not very close with him at all. Had issues with him starting in high school and it was rocky for a long time (I'm now 37). Last 6-8 years have been ok, but there's not a whole lot of love there. He's never been supportive of anything I've done (when I was 16 he tried to get child support lowered by saying I was self sufficient since I had a job at McDonalds..wtf?), never encouraged me to go to college and certainly never helped pay for any of it (but he did come to graduation). No support ever.
Anyways, I see them maybe 4-5 times a year, talk to them via phone even less. Had issues with his reaction when we told him we were officially engaged (Oh, is FH the same guy who asked for your hand a couple years ago, or was that someone else?) Typical smartass response and didn't seem to have any genuine happiness for me. He's obviously not good at showing love or affection. Not once have they asked how things were going, not once have they offered to help with anything, it's like they don't even care. I'd really rather not do a dance but kinda feel I need to in order to quell the potential awkwardness. I'm not having him walk me down the aisle as I don't feel he's earned the "right" to give me away. Don't know if he's assuming he will, but we haven't had that conversation and I'm at a point where if he's not going to ask, I'm not going to tell. TBH, I wouldn't even care if they didn't come (but of course they will).
So my predicament is choosing a song. I need something not too mushy because it doesn't really mean anything to me. I just need to get through 3-4 minutes. Anyone have any ideas? Shorter the song, the better!
TL;DR: | need short, non mushy song for father/daughter dance that I don't even really want to do, just need to get though it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I[22M] have been having a problem with my gf [20F] for almost 10 months now, and we've been together for 11 months
POST: Me and my girlfriend have been together for almost a year (11 months) and I really love her, she's been an amazing girlfriend so far. We've had our issues but it's never been something we couldn't work out. Theres something that's been really been cutting me deep for quite some time and I don't know how to deal with it, thats why I am here.
For the first month and a half that we started dating we were pretty physical and it was amazing. Then she left for two weeks for training (she's in the army) and when she came back she said she doesn't want to be as physical as we were before "because when she was out there she realized she didn't need that."
Ever since then I've been the one who has to initiate any kind of physical intimacy, and its gotten to the point where I have to be persistant and ask a lot to get anything. I feel like an asshole doing it but to me being physical is really important, not because I am getting satisfied but because I get to share something very personal with the person I love. Thats how its been for the last 9 months. Recently its been getting even worse, I barely ask to do anything with her, (i'll probably say something once a week, and its always a 4 second conversation) and all she says is, "i guess i can give you a handjob." Its like its an obligation to her and she has no interest with me (physically) at all anymore.
I don't know what to do, it really hurts me as a man and as a person. So, what do I do? I should make it clear that I'm not here saying, "hey guys help me get laid more." I want to get to the bottom of this, I've tried talking to her about it but all she says is that "it has nothing to do with me." I am out of ideas of how to figure out the cause of this and I need some outside speculations.
TL;DR: | My gf treats me really well in every area of our relationship, but when it comes down to any type of physical intimacy she shuts down |
SUBREDDIT: r/personalfinance
TITLE: Recently Laid-Off, 23, Getting Married; Roth IRA? + General Financial Advice [LA]
POST: In December I was laid off but had only been working with the company for 2 months (before that I was a waitress). I am pretty sure my earnings for 2015 will be below the threshold and I will be getting all of my taxes back (~$1000).
I have not had great luck in finding a full time job in my field so I will most likely be working p/t until May when I am getting married abroad. I am hoping to line up a full time position for once I return back in July.
All of our expenses are currently being covered by my fiancé who is a phd student (and guaranteed funding for 4 more years at least). We have $775 in rent each month and a $194 car payment (1% financing fee, about $500 over the life of the loan). We are also able to save $100 each month from his income. He is paid throughout the year and will not receive payments during the summer months (June, July, & August).
Should I consider adding my tax refund to a Roth IRA? What should I do to make this situation as positive as I can? Help!
TL;DR: | I was recently laid off and am now working p/t. What should I be doing to maximize our financial situation between now and May when we get married? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [26 F] and my "friends" [30s M] (Waco) and [60s F] (Shadow). They have been being increasingly mean to me.
POST: I met some people on an online virtual reality "game" and for a while people have been pretty cool. When I first met Waco we became fairly good friends until he disappeared from the game for a while.
I met Shadow at the place where I volunteer to help keep people in line. She was fairly polite but a bit off putting because she acted like she was better than you. Recently they've started "dating" in the game. They say they aren't but they're closer than a married couple and one doesn't go anywhere without the other.
I've been hanging out with them sometimes and recently (since they've started dating) they have been incredibly rude to me for no reason...they've accused me of things I didn't do, told me I'm faking being depressed for attention and once even hinted that I should kill myself. What can I do to get back on their good sides?
TL;DR: | Former friends have turned on me now that they are dating. I have been nice but they have turned into terrible people telling me I should be dead. What do I do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [20 M] with my girlfriend [20 F] 6 months, sending sexual messages
POST: Yesterday my girlfriend asked me to text her room mate a messages. As I was doing so, I couldn't help but notice messages from an unsaved number.
I opened the message to see a guy telling my girlfriend what he would do to her (sexually) with responses from her saying how much she wanted his male fluids.
This was of a great shock to me, heart started racing and ideas going through my head. I sat for a few minutes before joining her for coffee.
I calmly told her that I saw some messages she had sent. She instantly knew what I was on about and responded saying "Oh, the ones from the guy who wants to get in my pants?".
She told me that it is nothing but a joke between her friend from University as they share the same class with this guy and that she would never cheat on me.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt but come today knowing I'm not going to see her for a couple of days, it has become stuck in my head.
She generally says "You're too good for me" which does give concern to this situation but besides that, she has been completely normal.
Should I be worried?
TL;DR: | Found sexual messages on GF phone; she says it was a joke; gave benefit of the doubt; unsure if best step |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: If money did not exist, what do you think would happen to the world? Is there a better system?
POST: In recent years I've been coming to the conclusion that the whole concept of money is ridiculous. The idea that whole countries could be in debt seems bizarre somehow. I have some understanding of quantitative easing, and why simply printing money can have many negative effects. But ultimately, we invented money and have the power to create more... how can we run out? New money has to be made anyway, if you imagine the amount that is destroyed; set on fire, put in the washer etc. Or maybe just in a forgotten bank account. It adds up, and it's taken out of circulation, and not spent in a shop who in turn pays staff and so on. Taking in to account the increasing population, that means there is even less to go around. I understand that making everyone a billionaire would just mean massive inflation, so a banana cost $100k. But that's part of what I find so frustrating about it... wouldn't we all just be better off if there was no such thing?
TL;DR: | money is stupid, we create loads of it but there isn't enough to go around and we can't just give everyone a bunch of it |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: 1.5 year relationship ends, then a death in the family the next day.
POST: so reddit, i need some thoughts and opinions on a messed up situation, thats really leaving me completely reeling.
backstory, im 26, shes 32 and have been in a relationship for about 1.5 years. Sadly, and due to circumstances that we feel irreconcilable, we have decided to part ways. This alone is sad enough for both of us, and since we live together with her child (11y/o, from a previous marriage.) hasn't exactly been the most comfortable situation as of late. Ive already been packing, as i have a new place lined up for the 1st, and have just been using the spare bedroom in the meantime. This situation is working for us just fine, as difficult and awkward as it may be.
The issue is that this morning, her mother passed away after a long battle with cancer. It's been a heart wrenching journey for us all, and despite anticipating this, it never makes it easier. So essentially we have a trainwreck that just happened to be caught in the middle of another trainwreck.
My dilemma is this: the relationship is over, we know that we won't be able to continue on as a couple, and even though it sucks, were not being childish about it. But then here I am. I know she's torn up enough about losing our relationship, and now she loses her mother.
Im not really sure how to proceed at this point. My remaining to be with her in her time of need feels right - problems or not, we were in a loving relationship for a long time, I feel like i can't abandon her now, when she needs me most. However i also know that my staying wouldn't help our situation in the least, and after the fallout from the death, we're back where we started- with our need to part ways.
So reddit, what do you think is "right" in this situation?
TL;DR: | 1.5 year co-habitation relationship ends. the next day her mother dies. emotions running high. supposed to be moving out in 15 days. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Dear Reddit: I may become vegan/vegetarian. Sway me.
POST: Well reddit, for my entire life i have been a passionate carnivore. I enjoy meet just as much if not more than the next guy, and up until recently i would never consider giving it up. When i was in my teens i was a fairly hefty kid and have previously had cholesterol levels a bit higher than usual.
Along with my own previous history, i have a SEVERE family history of heart disease. I've had several family members have heart attacks, many of which were debilitating or fatal. Just last week i had an uncle of mine collapse on the street and die of a fatal heart attack; he was a regular runner and leaving the gym. Most of the old members of my family are on some form of cholesterol medication but it doesn't seem to have done much good. What should i do? Note: i am male, 21 years old.
TL;DR: | Severe family history of heart disease and i am afraid i'm next. Is it worth giving up meat for the sake of my health? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: Help me plan a trip to South America!
POST: I'd like to plan a trip to South America for after I graduate in May. I would be looking to go between 3-5 weeks between May 18 and June 15.
I'd love to get a really great overview of the continent during my time there, hitting the highlights of a handful of countries. Additionally, I'd like to spend some quality time at a few places to really understand the culture/people/landscape.
I've traveled extensively in the U.S. and Canada (14 States left to visit) as well as three weeks in Switzerland, Austria, Germany and France last summer. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I'm a decently experienced traveler. I'm very open to trying different kinds of food and I love spending time in the outdoors. My Spanish isn't great, but I can understand the basics of conversation. I'm not looking to spend a whole lot of time lounging around, my trips have historically been very fast-paced and chock full of activities.
Please let me know if you have any questions!
TL;DR: | Have 3-5 weeks to spend in South America and would like to know what the best places to visit are. My goal is to stay around $3k for the entire trip. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: You have to choose between job of your dreams or girl of your dreams. Which do you pick?
POST: Basically, I got called into my bosses office this morning where he offered me a job rotation for a project in Chicago (currently reside in Houston.) he begins telling me the perks free flight every thursday back home or have one of my friends come up, 15% bump in pay while im there I'll have to be there 6 of the next 9 months and I'll be staying in a nice hotel for free. Sounds perfect right?
In comes the girl; We've only been dating for 6 months but things have been amazing, She's everything I've ever wanted and pretty much just way out of my league. We've met the families and pretty much live together. She's very much the 'one' I've dreamt about.
We are in the same industry and we both travel a little bit, but as I told her about this opportunity, she understandably said that she would be as supportive as she could but could make no promises of how everything would turn out as she doesn't know how she could handle long term.
Thoughts, suggestions, personal anecdotes you would like to share?
TL;DR: | 24 yrs old, first year in a very competitive industry, get offered an opportunity of lifetime, currently has girl of a lifetime. doesnt want to fuck it up. what would jesus do? |
SUBREDDIT: r/travel
TITLE: 4 weeks December vacation - where to find the perfect summer?
POST: I am writing this post, because there are so many possibilities where to go and we cannot decide which place is best. I hope with this reddit post we will get some impressions from your experiences which will help us find the perfect place.
So what are we looking for?
- Beaches, summer
- Would be nice to learn surfing
- Nightlife, culture, restaurants, etc. We don't want to be locked up in a hotel complex.
- Adventures?
Basically everywhere in the world is fine if the points mentioned match.
3 years ago we visited Hawaii islands during the same time period. Hawaii was perfect, we did some island hopping, the weather was perfect, we could travel around with our rental car, visit amazing places and go out at night. But as we already have been in Hawaii this is out of scope. For everyone who hasn't been in Hawaii yet, you have to go! :)
- My favourite spot so far would be french Polynesia. Air Tahiti even offers a flight pass, where you can explore multiple islands.. But I am not so sure about the weather condition as there is the rainy season in December.
- Australia would also be great, but I think 4 weeks is almost too short.. I would like to go to Australia once for 2-3 month and travel around. If we would go for 4 weeks and do some surfing we would miss a lot I think.
- South America?
- Thailand?
- Maldives, Seychelles would be amazing for the beaches. But I guess this is more Hotel-Complex vacation, where you cannot do many things.. 3-4 weeks is too long there.
I am really curious about your experiences!
TL;DR: | 4 weeks vacation in December. Want to go to a warm place where you're not locked up in a hotel complex and can learn surfing. Hawaii would be perfect, but we have already been there. |
SUBREDDIT: r/tifu
TITLE: TIFU by scaring away a girl I really liked and had a good friendship with. Most likely /r/cringe worthy shit too
POST: So there's a girl I've been meeting off and on for about 2 months but we weren't dating. I just really enjoyed her company and I might've started to fall for her somewhere later on. I've been around since when Facebook and all the social networking boom happened so I'm used to uploading anything and everything. Well me and this girl would meet up, go do fun stuff, we'd take pictures and she would upload some and I would too, no complaints. I uploaded a picture last night of her that I took of her since it would be the last time I'd be seeing her for a very long time. I told her this one would be just for me but when I got home, I was still in a semi-buzzed tipsy state and uploaded the picture anyway and apparently it made it seem like we were dating so she freaked out on me and told me to take it down. Now she's either blocked me or gotten rid of Facebook altogether along with other messaging accounts we used.
TL;DR: | Creeped a girl I liked out unintentionally, like a clueless asshole. Messed up a good friendship because I wasn't thinking and kind of drunk. |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: I really think I'm getting dumber as I get older. What are your methods and/or tricks for learning a new skill?
POST: Because I can't learn **shit.** It's a miracle that I am able to breathe without detailed instructions and frequent reminders.
When I was a child, I was allegedly "gifted", which among other things meant a lot of people fawned over me unnecessarily and told me how wonderful I was all the time, much to my constant chagrin. A lot of things came to me naturally with no consciously active effort. Whatever improvements I might have made in those skills came naturally also, through use alone, just like physical exercise.
But certain things did not come to me at **all**, let alone effortlessly. I struggle with basic math. I try from time to time to figure out how to write scripts in Python for my own use, and end up spending 3 hours futilely trying to figure out why one method of doing something is better or worse than another method. It's this way for most other things, in fact. I never get anywhere because I don't see immediate progress. I don't "just get it" the way I "just get" certain other things, and this **frustrates** and **angers** me to a degree that cannot be adequately described. The older I get (38 in a few days), the less and less, uhh... *agile* my brain feels.
It is not part of my experience to go through a process of lacking a skill, working on learning a skill, and then eventually having the skill. I can either do it right away, or I can't do it **ever**.
It occurs to me that I've gone my whole life without having the slightest idea how to actually **learn anything**. I can't describe how to learn something any more than I can describe how to digest food. Trying to actively study and learn something ultimately becomes an exercise in self-loathing. My frustration level goes through the roof, along with my blood pressure and irritability.
So, HOW do you do it? How do you learn things?
TL;DR: | I have no discernible talents or abilities of any description, and I don't understand how to go about acquiring them. How do you learn things? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: I(34m) am single, and everyone I know is pressuring me to start a family
POST: I am 34m, and the last son to not have a family. I am also the last one in my friends group to not be married.
Because of this, everyone I know, pressures me to get a serious girlfriend, and start a family before it's too late.
My friends wife's believe that since I am single, I am some sort of bad influence, and many of them try to set me up with their friends.
I've been called many things, a player, a pickup artist, a womanizer, people have insisted that either I am afraid of commitment, or I haven't met the right woman. Some of them just think I am selfish.
Is there something unhealthy about not wanting anything serious, and being single and happy?
After all, it isn't like I sit home and watch Internet porn all day. I have a full time job, hobbies(paintball every sat morning), and I also date quite a lot. They just don't approve of the way I date, or the people I choose to date.
Even sometimes, when I am on a date, the woman I am with gives me strange signals when we talk about what I am looking for, and I respond nothing really, just fun, until things aren't fun anymore, then we can both move on.
TL;DR: | everyone I know feels like my chosen lifestyle of being single, is unhealthy and I should get married and start a family asap |
SUBREDDIT: r/AskReddit
TITLE: Any stories of cool/nice things a policeman/woman has done for you? ill start...
POST: Me and my girl friend and a buddy were crossing a bridge into Richmond, BC from Vancouver. guess we weren't supposed to be doing so (there was no obvious signage, or warnings, and there seemed to be a good path along the side) because about halfway across the bridge on our way to the Skytrain station on the other side we hear sirens and a cop car pulls over and rolls down his window. (not much traffic) he tells us he's had a report of "three hoodlums running across the street in the way of traffic onto the bridge". we explained our situation and he told us to get in the car. nervous, we did so. then he asked "anywhere in particular your heading, i have half an hour to take you anywhere you want" it was a thrill to be in the back of a cop car for the first time and we asked for a lift to the airport where we spent the rest of the sunny summer afternoon near the strip watching planes take off and land. ill never forget that.
TL;DR: | a cop pulled beside me and some friends in the middle of a bridge where we weren't supposed to be and offered us a ride anywhere within half an hour. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Internet best friend.
POST: So my gf (18) dating for 5 months is having trouble accepting that I have this internet friend that is also a girl. This internet girl is 19 and from another country and she is my best friend. She has been there for me a lot but my gf refuses to accept that she's me friend. My gf has done the following:
1. Keeps calling her a whore
2. Threatened her
3. Constantly says I love her
And so on
My internet friend and I have both agreed and told my gf that we swear there is nothing between us it's just that she's been there for me and she my only real best friend.
Should I get rid of my Internet friend? Leave my girlfriend? Because I am at a lost
TL;DR: | f (18) gf doesn't want me to keep my f (19) internet friend even tho she's my best friend. |
SUBREDDIT: r/dogs
TITLE: [HELP] [DISCUSSION] How to deal with canine incontinence due to neurological problems in 11 y.o. Lab Retriever
POST: I have an older 100 lb. Lab Retriever who has been exhibiting neurological problems for at least four years, and now he is largely unaware of when he needs to eliminate (urination/defecation). We've tried lots of different supplements (herbs, expensive other things that didn't seem to do much of anything, and the like) in addition to a daily regimen of Proin for the past three or so years.
I've recently seen studies stating that Proin does not help with urinary incontinence stemming from neurological problems, but Woody has had serious bladder and urethra surgery in the past (he had *six* stones in his urethra, and his bladder was full of sand, basically), so I do not know whether his incontinence stems solely from the neurological issue or from past trauma.
My house smells. He smells. I clean all of the time, but even right now I am choking at the smell of urine but cannot find where he peed (there's a huge storm right now, and he's scared, so he peed). I get so frustrated with him, but he's been my sidekick for eight of his eleven years. He's my boy. So, /r/dogs, what have you done to stay sane while dealing with an incontinent dog? My dear grandmother is making belly bands for him, and I'm planning to line them with adult diapers. What cleaning products work well for you? What other suggestions do you have? I use puppy pads under him whenever I can.
Oh, I should also mention that he pretty much cannot walk on his own and that I have to assist him. Some days are better than others, but he's happy, and his quality of life is still pretty great. So it's certainly not yet time to say goodbye.
TL;DR: | I've got a big ol' 100 lb. incontinent dog. Got any cleaning ideas for the house? For him? How about ideas to stay sane? |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: My life is turning into 500 days of summer, and I hate that movie.
POST: Me[19m] and this girl [19f] started seeing each other and hooking up regularly this year, and I think its getting out of my control. we've been together for about a month and a half.
I liked her a lot last year when we met at uni, and I was overjoyed when it finally evolved into something more than friends. I have this sort of reputation on campus of a heartless womanizer, and I felt like this year I didnt want to continue this. I haven't been in a lot of long term relationships, but I want something more meaningful than college flings. we've been spending a lot of time together, and I know she's hesitant to start something meaningful.
last night we were at a party, and in my drunken state I was really bothered by a "friend" of hers hitting on her. when I talked to her about it, she reminded me that she wants to be in an open relationship, and we had talked about this before. this hurt ( i rarely show emotions) and I know I should have the self-respect to say no, but I really like her and the sex is great.
part of me wants to retaliate and hook up with some breezy tonight, even though she says she hasn't done anything with anyone but me since we started getting together. this just makes me feel like an option, and it sucks ass. she tends to be a little hipster condescending, and told my roommate that getting in a relationship with me scares her. she's a nice girl, but I dont wanna lose her or compromise my pride. as of now im trying to give her space. another thing is she told me she's bi because "the man is trying to keep her down", and that doesn't really bother me, but the small amount of MRA in me says this is a red flag of sexism.
TL;DR: | I feel like the nancy to her sid, its cliche as shit, I just want something steady and she doesn't. |
SUBREDDIT: r/relationships
TITLE: Me [19M] with my Charity Fundraising mentor [25F], been communicating 5 months. Have not reached fundraising goal, finding it hard to reply to her contact attempts. [Non-Romantic]
POST: Okay, this might all sound very silly and not something I should be nervous about; but unfortunately I am. So here I am.
So a few months ago I decided to raise a certain amount of money for charity, along with a whole lot of other people. The idea was everyone was divided up into small group, and each group had a mentor that they would report their progress too and generally keep them up to date.
Long story short, the fundraising time is ceasing in the next couple of days, and I am no where near close to my set goal (everyone had the same set goal).
**The problem lies here:** my mentor has been trying to contact me for general updates on how I've been getting on. She has been contacting me throughout it and up until now I've been able to message her without worry, saying that I'm organising some fundraising event. Now, I don't know what to tell her, she's tried contact me over various forms and I haven't responded: mainly because I'm ashamed.
Yes, I know I seem like a lazy guy that never went through the trouble of organising anything. I am ashamed and annoyed at myself for not reaching near my target. This is all attributing to me not knowing what to say; basically telling her I failed.
A reason for me failing is that I underestimated the task, as it also conflicted with college. I've realised that organising a charity event isn't as easy as it looks.
So r/relationships, what are your thoughts on this whole thing? I feel nervous even trying to message her something about the fundraising, which is different for me because usually I'm not like this. The difference this time being that I've let somebody down, and I hate myself for it.
Thanks in advance.
TL;DR: | Failed raising a set goal of money for charity. Mentor asking for progress/trying to contact me. Don't know what to say to her as I feel ashamed/annoyed at myself/like I let her down. |
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