jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
I don't like the looks of this.
Ms. Botz? Ms. Botz?
Good Lord! What have those little hellions done now?
We're so sorry, we're so sorry.
Please turn off the TV.
I can't tell you how chagrinned we are about all of this.
Oh, these things are heavy.
Just so there's no hard feelings, here's double your pay. No, no, triple.
Thank you.
Mr. Sampson, can I give you a bit of advice?
Don't turn your back on that boy for a second.
Ain't that the truth. You know, one time he --
This way to the scene of the crime, men. I've got her tied up in the den.
Just a minute, young man. I don't know what kind of shenanigans you've been pulling this time, but I just had to untie your babysitter and pay her off so that --
Excuse me, sir, are you saying to the world that you just aided and abetted the escape of the notorious Babysitter Bandit?
The what?
The Babysitter Bandit.
Uh... uh... no. Are you sure this microphone works? Uh, well, I wouldn't say I aided her. This is on, right? Because, actually, it was quite a struggle.
Awww, Homer.
Have you ever seen a Kung Fu movie? It was just like that. But now I know her moves. So, if you're listening to me, lady, you better think long and hard before trying something like this on Homer Simpson again.
Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.
Oh, Homer, don't say that. The way I see it, if you raise three children who can knock out and hog-tie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.
Yeah. Yeah!
Honey, can we make up again?
Oh my goodness.
There will be no further interruptions during Martin's book report.
"You're killing me, fish. Never have I seen a greater or more noble thing than you, brother.
Come on and kill me. I do not care who kills who."
To catch a fish, to kill a bull, to make love to a woman. To live! I thank you.
Oh please, call me Papa.
Little ketchup for your buns, Papa?
Is it ready? Ha, what a question. Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled. Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was "Treasure Island".
It's about these pirates. Pirates with patches over their eyes... and shiny gold teeth... and green birds on their shoulders...
Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill.
So in conclusion, on the Simpsons' scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book... a nine.
Any questions?
No? Then I'll just sit down.
Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?
Blackbeard... Captain Nemo... Captain Hook... Long John Silver... Peg Leg Pete... Bluebeard.
Bluebeard?
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?
Yes, ma'am.
Blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah!...
Yes, ma'am.
Yes, ma'am.
Uhhh... straighten up and fly right?
Whoa, take that, Granny! Oh, hide in the closet. Oh no, deadly mothballs.
Ooo... Granny killing me!
You have reached the level of ungrateful grandchild. Try again, if you dare! Heh... heh... heh...
Heh... heh... heh. Just a couple more games and I'll hit the books.
Soup's on! Hurry up, or it'll get that icky skin on the top.
Eww, I hate that icky soup skin.
Okay, right after dinner, it's down to business.
Mmmm. Marge, Could you get me another beer, please?
In a second, Homer. Lisa has some good news.
He doesn't care, Mom.
Sure I do. I just want to have a beer while I'm caring. Marge...
Homer! Go ahead, Lisa.
Well, okay. I got an A on my vocabulary test.
What! You did! Well, that's just... oh, what a glorious day! Lisa, hand me your paper.
I'm just gonna take this over to the refrigerator and, hmmm. Well as long as I'm here, I might as well kill two birds with one stone.
What's the big idea? You covered up my paper.
Look at those funny little whiskers. Oooo! That reminds me. It's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie. C'mon boy.
No, Dad, I should really... Whoop!
Oooh, "Gorilla, The Conqueror." The granddaddy of them all.
Ah well, maybe just one more hour.
It's so unfair... just because he's different.
Well, time to hit the books.
Burning the candle at both ends, eh boy? Go get 'em.
All right, okay, let's take care of some business. "Chapter One: A Dream of Freedom. On September fifteenth, sixteen-twenty, Puritan separatists from the Church of England, some living in Holland, left Plymouth, England. Their destination was --
Psst... Marge. Come take a look at this.
Oh! The little tiger tries so hard. Why does he keep failing?
Just a little dim, I guess.
Bart, honey... you're going to miss your bus!
Hey, Bart-dude. Whoa, you look freaked.
Hey, Otto-man. I've got a big test that I am not ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something?
Oh, sorry little buddy. Can't do it on purpose. But hey, maybe you'll get lucky.
Okay, no reason to panic. Find an egghead, pump him for some answers, and boom, I'm back on easy street.
Look at him. I bet he didn't study again.
And now he's gonna try to kiss up and get answers from us.
He's pathetic.
Good morning, girls.
Good morning, Bart.
Say... who's up for a little cram session? I'll go first. What was the name of the pilgrim's boat?
The Spirit of St. Louis.
And where did they land?
Sunny Acapulco.
Why'd they leave England?
Giant rats.
Cool. History's coming alive.
As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care, but the information pertaining to America's colonial period that you just received is erroneous.
So you're saying...
A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.
Thanks for the pep talk.
Oh! Ooooo!!
Nothing... must... take... test.
Ooooo!!
What's the matter, son?

I don't like the looks of this.

Ms. Botz? Ms. Botz?

Good Lord! What have those little hellions done now?

We're so sorry, we're so sorry.

Please turn off the TV.

I can't tell you how chagrinned we are about all of this.

Oh, these things are heavy.

Just so there's no hard feelings, here's double your pay. No, no, triple.

Thank you.

Mr. Sampson, can I give you a bit of advice?

Don't turn your back on that boy for a second.

Ain't that the truth. You know, one time he --

This way to the scene of the crime, men. I've got her tied up in the den.

Just a minute, young man. I don't know what kind of shenanigans you've been pulling this time, but I just had to untie your babysitter and pay her off so that --

Excuse me, sir, are you saying to the world that you just aided and abetted the escape of the notorious Babysitter Bandit?

The what?

The Babysitter Bandit.

Uh... uh... no. Are you sure this microphone works? Uh, well, I wouldn't say I aided her. This is on, right? Because, actually, it was quite a struggle.

Awww, Homer.

Have you ever seen a Kung Fu movie? It was just like that. But now I know her moves. So, if you're listening to me, lady, you better think long and hard before trying something like this on Homer Simpson again.

Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.

Oh, Homer, don't say that. The way I see it, if you raise three children who can knock out and hog-tie a perfect stranger, you must be doing something right.

Yeah. Yeah!

Honey, can we make up again?

Oh my goodness.

There will be no further interruptions during Martin's book report.

"You're killing me, fish. Never have I seen a greater or more noble thing than you, brother.

Come on and kill me. I do not care who kills who."

To catch a fish, to kill a bull, to make love to a woman. To live! I thank you.

Oh please, call me Papa.

Little ketchup for your buns, Papa?

Is it ready? Ha, what a question. Fellow students, prepare to be dazzled. Well, as Mrs. Krabappel already mentioned, the name of the book that I read was "Treasure Island".

It's about these pirates. Pirates with patches over their eyes... and shiny gold teeth... and green birds on their shoulders...

Did I mention this book was written by a guy named Robert Louis Stevenson? And published by the good people at McGraw Hill.

So in conclusion, on the Simpsons' scale of one to ten, ten being the highest, one being the lowest, and five being average, I give this book... a nine.

Any questions?

No? Then I'll just sit down.

Mrs. Krabappel, I am insulted. Is this a book report or a witch hunt?

Blackbeard... Captain Nemo... Captain Hook... Long John Silver... Peg Leg Pete... Bluebeard.

Bluebeard?

Yes, ma'am.

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?

Yes, ma'am.

Blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah blah!...

Yes, ma'am.

Uhhh... straighten up and fly right?

Whoa, take that, Granny! Oh, hide in the closet. Oh no, deadly mothballs.

Ooo... Granny killing me!

You have reached the level of ungrateful grandchild. Try again, if you dare! Heh... heh... heh...

Heh... heh... heh. Just a couple more games and I'll hit the books.

Soup's on! Hurry up, or it'll get that icky skin on the top.

Eww, I hate that icky soup skin.

Okay, right after dinner, it's down to business.

Mmmm. Marge, Could you get me another beer, please?

In a second, Homer. Lisa has some good news.

He doesn't care, Mom.

Sure I do. I just want to have a beer while I'm caring. Marge...

Homer! Go ahead, Lisa.

Well, okay. I got an A on my vocabulary test.

What! You did! Well, that's just... oh, what a glorious day! Lisa, hand me your paper.

I'm just gonna take this over to the refrigerator and, hmmm. Well as long as I'm here, I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

What's the big idea? You covered up my paper.

Look at those funny little whiskers. Oooo! That reminds me. It's Big Gorilla Week on Million Dollar Movie. C'mon boy.

No, Dad, I should really... Whoop!

Oooh, "Gorilla, The Conqueror." The granddaddy of them all.

Ah well, maybe just one more hour.

It's so unfair... just because he's different.

Well, time to hit the books.

Burning the candle at both ends, eh boy? Go get 'em.

All right, okay, let's take care of some business. "Chapter One: A Dream of Freedom. On September fifteenth, sixteen-twenty, Puritan separatists from the Church of England, some living in Holland, left Plymouth, England. Their destination was --

Psst... Marge. Come take a look at this.

Oh! The little tiger tries so hard. Why does he keep failing?

Just a little dim, I guess.

Bart, honey... you're going to miss your bus!

Hey, Bart-dude. Whoa, you look freaked.

Hey, Otto-man. I've got a big test that I am not ready for. Could you please crash the bus or something?

Oh, sorry little buddy. Can't do it on purpose. But hey, maybe you'll get lucky.

Okay, no reason to panic. Find an egghead, pump him for some answers, and boom, I'm back on easy street.

Look at him. I bet he didn't study again.

And now he's gonna try to kiss up and get answers from us.

He's pathetic.

Good morning, girls.

Good morning, Bart.

Say... who's up for a little cram session? I'll go first. What was the name of the pilgrim's boat?

The Spirit of St. Louis.

And where did they land?

Sunny Acapulco.

Why'd they leave England?

Giant rats.

Cool. History's coming alive.

As a natural enemy, I don't know why I should care, but the information pertaining to America's colonial period that you just received is erroneous.

So you're saying...

A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth has a better chance of passing this test than you do.

Thanks for the pep talk.

Oh! Ooooo!!

Nothing... must... take... test.

Ooooo!!

What's the matter, son?