jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Oh, three days.
...although he doesn't really like school all that much,
...so I guess that may not count as anguish.
No, it doesn't.
It was a little hard on me having him around the house
...all that time.
Could you put a dollar amount on all these hardships?
Well, we pay Bart five dollars a week to take out the trash...
Huh uh.
I suppose if he'd been able to do it that week, we might have given him the five dollars.
Five dollars?
Um-hmm.
But your lawyer -- assuming he is a lawyer -- is asking for a million? Well, we can't blame them for trying can we. Thank you very much, Mrs. Simpson.
Oh, Marge.
I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.
I think we should take it.
A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.
Homer, would you like some more macaroni and cheese?
Yeah, a million dollars worth you treacherous snake woman. No, thank you.
Some string beans?
No I don't want any string beans either you two-timing, back-stabbing. Uh oh I better answer. No, thank you.
Some celery with cream cheese on it?
No, thank you.
You know what would've really been cool? If we got that million bucks.
Bart, please.
What? We could have bought tons of great stuff, Mom... maids, a pool, fancy sweaters... stop me if I'm wrong.
Marge, dear. Would it be all right if I went over to Moe's for a drink?
I don't know if I'll ever come back here. Goodnight.
My woman's intuition is telling me something... I wonder what... Oh my god.
Well, that's it. I guess this is the class I'm gonna die in.
Eh, you're better off. Rich people aren't happy. From the day they're born, to the day they die, they think they're happy but, trust me... they ain't.
Moe, I wish he'd shut up.
Look, a chick!
And it's not even Ladies Night.
Hey, hey, guys. Knock it off. It's just my wife.
My name is Marge.
Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing.
Oh, Marge...
We've squabbled over money before -- never this much -- I mean, I know this is different than that time I washed your pants with the twenty in the pocket, but I--
No, no, no. You think this is about money? Well, it's not. It's worse, Marge. I'm afraid that from now on when I look at you, I'm not gonna see the wife by my side or the mother of my children. I'm just gonna see the dame who blew my one big chance.
What are you saying, Homer?
I'm saying... She's been your wife for ten years, you've had three children together, it's time to be honest with her. I'm not sure I love you anymore.
But don't worry. I'll never let on. I'll still do all the bed stuff. Maybe it won't be so bad.
Oh my Lord. Well, I don't want to wait another minute to find out whether you love me anymore. I think that you should look me in the eyes and find out.
Homer, look at me.
Alright, alright, look at her if it'll make her shut up. Start with the feet, still angry? Good, good Homer, good. This is tough, need refreshment. Ahh, good old trustworthy beer, my love for you will never die. Alright, alright, gotta look the wife straight in the eyes and tell her.
Oh, who am I kidding? I love you more than ever.
I love you too!
McBain!!
Sorry to scare you like that, babe.
Okay, everybody! For the next fifteen minutes, one third off on every pitcher... one per customer... domestic beer only... hey, no sharing!
Is it done yet? Is it done yet?
Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.
Isn't there anything faster than a microwave? Four, three, two, one, ping!
We have meatloaf!
Get it while it's unbelievably hot, kids!
Yum. I've got a dried out end-piece with your name on it, Lisa.
Thursday -- meatloaf night. As it was, is now, and ever shall be.
What are you getting at?
Well, you're always trying to teach me to be opened-minded, try new things, live life to the...
What are you talking about? Nobody's trying to teach you that.
Shut up, boy.
Well, maybe Lisa's right. Tomorrow night it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Tomorrow night!? Friday!? Pork chop night!? Marge, we haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87.
Friday night, pork chops. From cradle to grave... etched in stone in God's library somewhere...
Okay, okay, okay, okay. Where do you want to go?
Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza or fried chicken.
Fine. We'll go to Mars.
There's that new sushi restaurant on Elm Street.
Sushi? Hey, maybe this is just one of those things you hear on the playground... but, isn't that raw fish?
As usual, the playground has the facts right, but missed the point entirely. Sushi is considered quite a delicacy.
Please, Homer. Can't we try it?
Please, Dad. This argument humiliates us both.
If I said no the first time, what makes you think I'm gonna say yes the second time?
Nothing, but you might say yes the ninety-ninth time.
Oh, try me.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad.
Please, Dad...please
Oh, okay, okay!
Irashiya!
Please, do not be alarmed. Our chefs are just saying hello.
Oh, okay. HELLO!
This is our karioke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken Japanese businessmen.
I am Akira, your waiter. May I take your order?
What would you recommend for a family that's not sure they should be here?
The sushi sampler has a little bit of everything. It is very non-threatening.
I'll have one of those.
Make it two.
Akira, my good man, I'd like two sharks, an octopus and an eel.
Very good.
Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?
Not today. And sir?
It's so hard to choose. It all looks so terrible. Just bring me one of these, and one of these, and one of those.
What do you think, Master?
No, no, no. Toshiro, the squid looks like it's been hacked by a blind woodsman. Hang your head in shame.
Good thing I'm open-minded.

Oh, three days.

...although he doesn't really like school all that much,

...so I guess that may not count as anguish.

No, it doesn't.

It was a little hard on me having him around the house

...all that time.

Could you put a dollar amount on all these hardships?

Well, we pay Bart five dollars a week to take out the trash...

Huh uh.

I suppose if he'd been able to do it that week, we might have given him the five dollars.

Five dollars?

Um-hmm.

But your lawyer -- assuming he is a lawyer -- is asking for a million? Well, we can't blame them for trying can we. Thank you very much, Mrs. Simpson.

Oh, Marge.

I'm going to write a figure on this piece of paper. It's not quite as large as the last one, but I think you'll find it fair.

I think we should take it.

A million dollars. My wife cost me a million dollars.

Homer, would you like some more macaroni and cheese?

Yeah, a million dollars worth you treacherous snake woman. No, thank you.

Some string beans?

No I don't want any string beans either you two-timing, back-stabbing. Uh oh I better answer. No, thank you.

Some celery with cream cheese on it?

No, thank you.

You know what would've really been cool? If we got that million bucks.

Bart, please.

What? We could have bought tons of great stuff, Mom... maids, a pool, fancy sweaters... stop me if I'm wrong.

Marge, dear. Would it be all right if I went over to Moe's for a drink?

I don't know if I'll ever come back here. Goodnight.

My woman's intuition is telling me something... I wonder what... Oh my god.

Well, that's it. I guess this is the class I'm gonna die in.

Eh, you're better off. Rich people aren't happy. From the day they're born, to the day they die, they think they're happy but, trust me... they ain't.

Moe, I wish he'd shut up.

Look, a chick!

And it's not even Ladies Night.

Hey, hey, guys. Knock it off. It's just my wife.

My name is Marge.

Homer, I'd like you to forgive me for doing the right thing.

Oh, Marge...

We've squabbled over money before -- never this much -- I mean, I know this is different than that time I washed your pants with the twenty in the pocket, but I--

No, no, no. You think this is about money? Well, it's not. It's worse, Marge. I'm afraid that from now on when I look at you, I'm not gonna see the wife by my side or the mother of my children. I'm just gonna see the dame who blew my one big chance.

What are you saying, Homer?

I'm saying... She's been your wife for ten years, you've had three children together, it's time to be honest with her. I'm not sure I love you anymore.

But don't worry. I'll never let on. I'll still do all the bed stuff. Maybe it won't be so bad.

Oh my Lord. Well, I don't want to wait another minute to find out whether you love me anymore. I think that you should look me in the eyes and find out.

Homer, look at me.

Alright, alright, look at her if it'll make her shut up. Start with the feet, still angry? Good, good Homer, good. This is tough, need refreshment. Ahh, good old trustworthy beer, my love for you will never die. Alright, alright, gotta look the wife straight in the eyes and tell her.

Oh, who am I kidding? I love you more than ever.

I love you too!

McBain!!

Sorry to scare you like that, babe.

Okay, everybody! For the next fifteen minutes, one third off on every pitcher... one per customer... domestic beer only... hey, no sharing!

Is it done yet? Is it done yet?

Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.

Isn't there anything faster than a microwave? Four, three, two, one, ping!

We have meatloaf!

Get it while it's unbelievably hot, kids!

Yum. I've got a dried out end-piece with your name on it, Lisa.

Thursday -- meatloaf night. As it was, is now, and ever shall be.

What are you getting at?

Well, you're always trying to teach me to be opened-minded, try new things, live life to the...

What are you talking about? Nobody's trying to teach you that.

Shut up, boy.

Well, maybe Lisa's right. Tomorrow night it might be nice to go out for dinner.

Tomorrow night!? Friday!? Pork chop night!? Marge, we haven't missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in '87.

Friday night, pork chops. From cradle to grave... etched in stone in God's library somewhere...

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Where do you want to go?

Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza or fried chicken.

Fine. We'll go to Mars.

There's that new sushi restaurant on Elm Street.

Sushi? Hey, maybe this is just one of those things you hear on the playground... but, isn't that raw fish?

As usual, the playground has the facts right, but missed the point entirely. Sushi is considered quite a delicacy.

Please, Homer. Can't we try it?

Please, Dad. This argument humiliates us both.

If I said no the first time, what makes you think I'm gonna say yes the second time?

Nothing, but you might say yes the ninety-ninth time.

Oh, try me.

Please, Dad.

Please, Dad...please

Oh, okay, okay!

Irashiya!

Please, do not be alarmed. Our chefs are just saying hello.

Oh, okay. HELLO!

This is our karioke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken Japanese businessmen.

I am Akira, your waiter. May I take your order?

What would you recommend for a family that's not sure they should be here?

The sushi sampler has a little bit of everything. It is very non-threatening.

I'll have one of those.

Make it two.

Akira, my good man, I'd like two sharks, an octopus and an eel.

Very good.

Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?

Not today. And sir?

It's so hard to choose. It all looks so terrible. Just bring me one of these, and one of these, and one of those.

What do you think, Master?

No, no, no. Toshiro, the squid looks like it's been hacked by a blind woodsman. Hang your head in shame.

Good thing I'm open-minded.