jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Goodbye, Lisa -- I know you'll make me proud.
Goodbye, Bart -- I like your sheets.
The Good Book...
... on tape...
"Oooo, as read by Larry King."
Hi, I'm Larry King. "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void...
"Eleazar begat Phinehas, Phinehas begat Abishua. And Abishua
...begat Ahimaaz. Ahimaaz begat
And Amariah onward, and Amariah begat Ahitub. And Ahitub begat
Senator Mendoza is one of the most respected citizens in this state, McBane. And yet you ran his limo off a cliff, broke the necks of three of his bodyguards and drove a bus through his front door.
Shallum begat Hilkiah, and Hilkiah begat Azariah. And he shall turn the heart of the Fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their Fathers, less I come and smite the earth with a curse." Well, that's it. Oh, friend Duke Zeevers standing by. We'll get some coffee... we'll get some matzo-ball soup. I love the San Antonio Spurs, by the way. If you're bettin' in the NBA this year, I think they're going to win it all. So I guess there's nothing more to say but...
Homer? Homer?
Oh, Homer, Homer.
His drool! It's warm! He's alive! Homer, Homer, wake up, you're alive!
All right. Stop it! Cut it out!
Wake up! You're alive! You're alive!
What are you talking about?
You're alive!
I'm alive! I'm alive. And I couldn't be happier. From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!
Strike, that's two in a row... Let's see that one again. Here it comes... excellent... Just about to go into the... My, my. Well if he makes this, he'll be down by 40 pins. This match though is far from over though, as you know.
Yeah, it is far from over, but uh his approach has been wrong from the beginning as far as I'm concerned.
Well, he's an erratic bowler, Chad. He tends to explode in the seven eight nine frame... Though I remember... in Boline, Illinois.
Actually that, actually that was Pontiac, Michigan.
Oh, thirty-eight pins going into the...
Well he's stepping up now and he needs to get at least a spare...
Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up, or it'll hurt your eyes.
Oh, it will not.
Oh yes it will.
Our next movie is "McBane." Another shoot 'em up, push 'em through the plate-glass window, splatter-fest from the Hollywood cookie-cutter. Here's a typically brainless scene.
I don't want to hear it, McBane. You're outta here!
That makes two of us.
You know, I can't believe we're talking about the same movie!
Oh, no...
I thought "McBane" was a non-stop, roller-coaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills.
And that chase at the end my friend...
Are you nuts? That movie stinks like a creepy one bedroom apartment.
Your mother didn't think it was so creepy.
My mother. Real mature. I'm sick of your...
I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.
Hey, what gives?
Dad, do something!
All right, all right. Time for Dr. TV to perform a little surgery.
Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.
Shut up, boy. Cheap Chinese TVs... Why did I every buy... Is that better?
How's this?
Okay, just everybody remain calm.
Hey, everybody! If you look real close, you can kinda make 'em out.
Hey, yeah, yeah. I think I can.
I think this is sick. They're staring at a dot!
She's right! She's right!
Oh, how I miss TV! Dear, God. Just give me one channel!
Homer. It's not the end of the world. You know, before we got married we hardly ever watched television.
You lie!
No, it's true, Bart. We used to shoot pool... and go dancing...
How romantic.
And a lot of times we'd stay at home and talk, just like this.
I'm livin' it but I ain't lovin' it.
It's so hard to picture you two then. Hand in hand at the crossroads of life. There are so many questions.
Pick one.
Okay. Uh... how did Dad propose to you?
Uh... well....
Well, Miss Bouvier. I think we found the reason why you've been throwing up in the morning. Congratulations.
Lisa, I'd rather tell you a different story. How your father and I first met and fell in love.
We were seniors in high school, but we had never even met.
Ugh, gross. Ecch.
SOME PEOPLE CALL ME A SPACE COWBOY / YEAH / SOME CALL ME THE GANGSTER OF LOVE / SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE. Woo woo / 'CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE PUPPETS OH OF LOVE.
Hey, Homer. You're late for English.
English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on, let's go smoke.
I'm for equal rights. But do we really need a whole amendment?
Come on, Marge. Don't you think you deserve to earn just as much as a man who does the same job?
Not if I have to do heavy lifting or math.
Oh Marge. You really ought to read this.
Oh, the shop kids are smoking again.
Oh, no! We're late for wood shop.
But we're early for lunch. Let's go grab a burger.
Boy, you never stop eatin' and you don't gain a pound.
Eh, it's my metabmobolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.
Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumbel. Springfield's answer to Cheech and Chong.
Allow me, gentlemen. You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when.
Three o'clock. Old building. Room 106.
... And in another article, I found out that to hire professionals to do all the jobs of a housewife, who incidentally is not married to a house, would cost forty-eight thousand dollars a year!
The first step to liberation is to free ourselves from these... male imposed shackles.
I didn't think it would burn so fast.
Hm, I guess it's the tissue paper inside.
Miss Bouvier, I am surprised!
You just bought yourself one day of detention. You know where and when.
Well, no I don't. Actually, I never really...
Three o'clock. Old building. Room 106.
Hey, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?
I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould.
Oooh, shot down again.
Hey, don't worry Barney. It's a big school. There's gotta be a girl nobody else wants to take to the prom.
Excuse me, is this Room 106?
Hey, who's that?
I... I don't know!
Hey, would you like to go to the...
She's mine!
So, what are you in for?
I'm a political prisoner. Last time I ever take a stand.
Well, I'm here for being me. Every day I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here.

Goodbye, Lisa -- I know you'll make me proud.

Goodbye, Bart -- I like your sheets.

The Good Book...

... on tape...

"Oooo, as read by Larry King."

Hi, I'm Larry King. "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void...

"Eleazar begat Phinehas, Phinehas begat Abishua. And Abishua

...begat Ahimaaz. Ahimaaz begat

And Amariah onward, and Amariah begat Ahitub. And Ahitub begat

Senator Mendoza is one of the most respected citizens in this state, McBane. And yet you ran his limo off a cliff, broke the necks of three of his bodyguards and drove a bus through his front door.

Shallum begat Hilkiah, and Hilkiah begat Azariah. And he shall turn the heart of the Fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their Fathers, less I come and smite the earth with a curse." Well, that's it. Oh, friend Duke Zeevers standing by. We'll get some coffee... we'll get some matzo-ball soup. I love the San Antonio Spurs, by the way. If you're bettin' in the NBA this year, I think they're going to win it all. So I guess there's nothing more to say but...

Homer? Homer?

Oh, Homer, Homer.

His drool! It's warm! He's alive! Homer, Homer, wake up, you're alive!

All right. Stop it! Cut it out!

Wake up! You're alive! You're alive!

What are you talking about?

You're alive!

I'm alive! I'm alive. And I couldn't be happier. From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!

Strike, that's two in a row... Let's see that one again. Here it comes... excellent... Just about to go into the... My, my. Well if he makes this, he'll be down by 40 pins. This match though is far from over though, as you know.

Yeah, it is far from over, but uh his approach has been wrong from the beginning as far as I'm concerned.

Well, he's an erratic bowler, Chad. He tends to explode in the seven eight nine frame... Though I remember... in Boline, Illinois.

Actually that, actually that was Pontiac, Michigan.

Oh, thirty-eight pins going into the...

Well he's stepping up now and he needs to get at least a spare...

Do you two have to sit so close to the TV? Back up, or it'll hurt your eyes.

Oh, it will not.

Oh yes it will.

Our next movie is "McBane." Another shoot 'em up, push 'em through the plate-glass window, splatter-fest from the Hollywood cookie-cutter. Here's a typically brainless scene.

I don't want to hear it, McBane. You're outta here!

That makes two of us.

You know, I can't believe we're talking about the same movie!

Oh, no...

I thought "McBane" was a non-stop, roller-coaster of chills, thrills, spills and kills.

And that chase at the end my friend...

Are you nuts? That movie stinks like a creepy one bedroom apartment.

Your mother didn't think it was so creepy.

My mother. Real mature. I'm sick of your...

I love watching the bald guy argue with the fat tub of lard.

Hey, what gives?

Dad, do something!

All right, all right. Time for Dr. TV to perform a little surgery.

Looks like you lost the patient, Doc.

Shut up, boy. Cheap Chinese TVs... Why did I every buy... Is that better?

How's this?

Okay, just everybody remain calm.

Hey, everybody! If you look real close, you can kinda make 'em out.

Hey, yeah, yeah. I think I can.

I think this is sick. They're staring at a dot!

She's right! She's right!

Oh, how I miss TV! Dear, God. Just give me one channel!

Homer. It's not the end of the world. You know, before we got married we hardly ever watched television.

You lie!

No, it's true, Bart. We used to shoot pool... and go dancing...

How romantic.

And a lot of times we'd stay at home and talk, just like this.

I'm livin' it but I ain't lovin' it.

It's so hard to picture you two then. Hand in hand at the crossroads of life. There are so many questions.

Pick one.

Okay. Uh... how did Dad propose to you?

Uh... well....

Well, Miss Bouvier. I think we found the reason why you've been throwing up in the morning. Congratulations.

Lisa, I'd rather tell you a different story. How your father and I first met and fell in love.

We were seniors in high school, but we had never even met.

Ugh, gross. Ecch.

SOME PEOPLE CALL ME A SPACE COWBOY / YEAH / SOME CALL ME THE GANGSTER OF LOVE / SOME PEOPLE CALL ME MAURICE. Woo woo / 'CAUSE I SPEAK OF THE PUPPETS OH OF LOVE.

Hey, Homer. You're late for English.

English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on, let's go smoke.

I'm for equal rights. But do we really need a whole amendment?

Come on, Marge. Don't you think you deserve to earn just as much as a man who does the same job?

Not if I have to do heavy lifting or math.

Oh Marge. You really ought to read this.

Oh, the shop kids are smoking again.

Oh, no! We're late for wood shop.

But we're early for lunch. Let's go grab a burger.

Boy, you never stop eatin' and you don't gain a pound.

Eh, it's my metabmobolism. I guess I'm just one of the lucky ones.

Well, well, well. If it isn't Homer Simpson and Barney Gumbel. Springfield's answer to Cheech and Chong.

Allow me, gentlemen. You just bought yourselves three days of detention. You know where and when.

Three o'clock. Old building. Room 106.

... And in another article, I found out that to hire professionals to do all the jobs of a housewife, who incidentally is not married to a house, would cost forty-eight thousand dollars a year!

The first step to liberation is to free ourselves from these... male imposed shackles.

I didn't think it would burn so fast.

Hm, I guess it's the tissue paper inside.

Miss Bouvier, I am surprised!

You just bought yourself one day of detention. You know where and when.

Well, no I don't. Actually, I never really...

Three o'clock. Old building. Room 106.

Hey, Estelle, will you go to the prom with me?

I wouldn't go to the prom with you if you were Elliot Gould.

Oooh, shot down again.

Hey, don't worry Barney. It's a big school. There's gotta be a girl nobody else wants to take to the prom.

Excuse me, is this Room 106?

Hey, who's that?

I... I don't know!

Hey, would you like to go to the...

She's mine!

So, what are you in for?

I'm a political prisoner. Last time I ever take a stand.

Well, I'm here for being me. Every day I show up, act like me, and they slap me in here.