jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Simpson! Be quiet!
I haven't seen you in school before.
Okay, Simpson.
You just bought yourself another day of detention!
Maybe we should get together some time.
Two days!
I'm sorry, I don't even know your name.
I'm Homer.
Three days!
Four days!
Simpson.
Five days!
It was worth it.
Six days! Okay, Simpson. To the back of the room!
So, it was love at first sight.
It was a jailhouse romance, man.
I'd reached step one: She knew I existed. The only problem was, she didn't care.
What's the matter, boy?
Nothing.
You haven't said boo all night, and usually I have to wrestle the bucket out of your greasy mitts.
Dad, I'm in love.
Uh-oh. Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy.
But, Dad, I don't drink...
Cut the crap. "I just collect the cans, Daddy." Now grab yourself a beer and get me one, too.
Now, this girlfriend of yours. Is she a real looker?
Uh-huh.
A lot on the ball?
Oh, yeah.
Ohhh, son, don't overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. Ohh, I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.
Thanks, Pop.
Hi, I'm Homer Simpson. I need some guidance, counselor.
Okey dokey.
Good Lord! Simpson, you should have come to see me a long time ago.
Well, yeah, maybe, but I just met this girl, Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.
That's not exactly the type of guidance I give.
Well, I like to think I do something helpful for every student N through Z. The only advice I can give you is, try to share a common interest and spend, spend, spend.
Well, what interest does she have that I could make common?
Oh, I believe she's very active on the Forensics Team. They meet in the new building. Room two-nineteen.
Far out!
Homer, do you have any plans for after graduation?
Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night.
Oh, no, I meant career-wise. You know, that nuclear power plant will be opening soon. It's one of the few outfits around that won't require a college education.
Me, in a nuclear power plant... Kaboom!
"Bringing up a son, even a blind one, isn't a lifetime occupation. Now, the more you help him... the more you hurt him."
Woe unto Shelbyville should they underestimate our strength in Dramatic Interpretation.
Well thank you, Artie.
My name's Homer Simpson. I'd like to sign up for something.
Well, we have an opening on the Debate Team.
Debate? Like, arguing?
I'll take that, you stinkpot! Just warming up, Mrs. Bloominstein.
This year's topic is, "Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour."
Fifty-five! That's ridiculous! Sure, they'll save a few lives. But millions will be late!
Why don't you take "con"?
No Way.
Our current speed limit is an anachronism. The fatuity...
Ignoramus.
Will you shut up?
Wait a minute! That word you keep calling me --
Ignoramus?
Ignoramus. It means I'm stupid! Doesn't it?
There's a difference between ignorance and stupidity.
Not to me there isn't!
You ignoramus.
You're the ignoramus.
No, you...
Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal?
With pleasure.
Aye Carumba!
Hel-lo.
Oh, you may not remember me. I'm Homer Simpson. I mooned for rebuttal.
Yes, I remember.
So... you wanna go out with me?
Well, I don't think you're my type.
Well, a... You see the problem is, you don't know me. I have references. Just ask Coach Flanagan, and ask Mr. Seckofsky and Barney Gumbel.
Hmm, I don't know.
Look, I'm not asking you to like me, I'm not asking you to put yourself in a position where I can touch your goodies, I'm just asking you to be fair.
Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah. Junior Varsity shot putter. Hmmm, hmmm. I think if he applies himself, trains real hard, hits the weights, he could go another foot.
I had him for four years. Solid "C" student. Made a lamp last year.
He's all things to all men, and maybe to one lucky gal. Wanna go to the prom with me?
Good God, no.
Well put.
Well, what's the good word?
I'm sorry.
I'm... a spare. Excuse me.
Well, you seem like a nice enough guy, but I really don't have the time.
And the City Forensics championship is coming up.
Yeah, so....
Oh, and I-I tutor part time.
You tutor?
And anyone can be tooted?
Just those who need help with French.
French. What a coincidence. Just the subject I'm having trouble with.
Why you cagey ol' dog.
Great story. Positively spellbinding. Work, damn you, work!
Bart, pay attention. You may be telling this to your own son one day if something breaks.
Ooh, lost a few. Oh, well there's plenty more where that came from. Uh-oh, a zit. No problemo.
The perfect crime.
Hel - lo.
Why is there make-out music on?
It helps me study. Heh-heh-heh.

Simpson! Be quiet!

I haven't seen you in school before.

Okay, Simpson.

You just bought yourself another day of detention!

Maybe we should get together some time.

Two days!

I'm sorry, I don't even know your name.

I'm Homer.

Three days!

Four days!

Simpson.

Five days!

It was worth it.

Six days! Okay, Simpson. To the back of the room!

So, it was love at first sight.

It was a jailhouse romance, man.

I'd reached step one: She knew I existed. The only problem was, she didn't care.

What's the matter, boy?

Nothing.

You haven't said boo all night, and usually I have to wrestle the bucket out of your greasy mitts.

Dad, I'm in love.

Uh-oh. Why don't you grab yourself a beer, boy.

But, Dad, I don't drink...

Cut the crap. "I just collect the cans, Daddy." Now grab yourself a beer and get me one, too.

Now, this girlfriend of yours. Is she a real looker?

Uh-huh.

A lot on the ball?

Oh, yeah.

Ohhh, son, don't overreach. Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl. Ohh, I blame myself. I should have had this talk a long time ago.

Thanks, Pop.

Hi, I'm Homer Simpson. I need some guidance, counselor.

Okey dokey.

Good Lord! Simpson, you should have come to see me a long time ago.

Well, yeah, maybe, but I just met this girl, Marge Bouvier and I want to force her to like me.

That's not exactly the type of guidance I give.

Well, I like to think I do something helpful for every student N through Z. The only advice I can give you is, try to share a common interest and spend, spend, spend.

Well, what interest does she have that I could make common?

Oh, I believe she's very active on the Forensics Team. They meet in the new building. Room two-nineteen.

Far out!

Homer, do you have any plans for after graduation?

Me? I'm gonna drink a lot of beer and stay out all night.

Oh, no, I meant career-wise. You know, that nuclear power plant will be opening soon. It's one of the few outfits around that won't require a college education.

Me, in a nuclear power plant... Kaboom!

"Bringing up a son, even a blind one, isn't a lifetime occupation. Now, the more you help him... the more you hurt him."

Woe unto Shelbyville should they underestimate our strength in Dramatic Interpretation.

Well thank you, Artie.

My name's Homer Simpson. I'd like to sign up for something.

Well, we have an opening on the Debate Team.

Debate? Like, arguing?

I'll take that, you stinkpot! Just warming up, Mrs. Bloominstein.

This year's topic is, "Resolved: The national speed limit should be lowered to fifty-five miles per hour."

Fifty-five! That's ridiculous! Sure, they'll save a few lives. But millions will be late!

Why don't you take "con"?

No Way.

Our current speed limit is an anachronism. The fatuity...

Ignoramus.

Will you shut up?

Wait a minute! That word you keep calling me --

Ignoramus?

Ignoramus. It means I'm stupid! Doesn't it?

There's a difference between ignorance and stupidity.

Not to me there isn't!

You ignoramus.

You're the ignoramus.

No, you...

Homer, would you like to present your rebuttal?

With pleasure.

Aye Carumba!

Hel-lo.

Oh, you may not remember me. I'm Homer Simpson. I mooned for rebuttal.

Yes, I remember.

So... you wanna go out with me?

Well, I don't think you're my type.

Well, a... You see the problem is, you don't know me. I have references. Just ask Coach Flanagan, and ask Mr. Seckofsky and Barney Gumbel.

Hmm, I don't know.

Look, I'm not asking you to like me, I'm not asking you to put yourself in a position where I can touch your goodies, I'm just asking you to be fair.

Homer Simpson? Oh, yeah. Junior Varsity shot putter. Hmmm, hmmm. I think if he applies himself, trains real hard, hits the weights, he could go another foot.

I had him for four years. Solid "C" student. Made a lamp last year.

He's all things to all men, and maybe to one lucky gal. Wanna go to the prom with me?

Good God, no.

Well put.

Well, what's the good word?

I'm sorry.

I'm... a spare. Excuse me.

Well, you seem like a nice enough guy, but I really don't have the time.

And the City Forensics championship is coming up.

Yeah, so....

Oh, and I-I tutor part time.

You tutor?

And anyone can be tooted?

Just those who need help with French.

French. What a coincidence. Just the subject I'm having trouble with.

Why you cagey ol' dog.

Great story. Positively spellbinding. Work, damn you, work!

Bart, pay attention. You may be telling this to your own son one day if something breaks.

Ooh, lost a few. Oh, well there's plenty more where that came from. Uh-oh, a zit. No problemo.

The perfect crime.

Hel - lo.

Why is there make-out music on?

It helps me study. Heh-heh-heh.