jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Huh, uh. Well, it sounds interesting.
Huh uh.
How much will it cost to build?
Oh, that's the beauty part, it's already built. I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.
What are you trying to prove?
Well my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.
Hm, interesting.
Let's see, I want a teargas can, a blue gun with paralyzer darts...
A copy of Radioactive Man number 27. That's the first time he fights Dr. Crab. Then I wanna buy that baseball card where the guy is flippin' the bird.
Oh yeah, I've seen that one.
Oh and the
What the hell is that?
Why, it's a death ray, my good man. Behold!
Hey, feels warm. Kinda nice.
Well, it's just the prototype. With proper funding, I'm confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City.
But I want to help people, not kill 'em.
Oh. To be honest, the ray only has evil applications.
You know, my wife will be happy. She's hated this whole death ray thing from day one.
Oh Lisa. What makes you think you deserve all that money?
I don't deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony.
You're right.
I'll name her Princess and I'll ride her every day.
No, you're right about all the poor souls who need a helping hand. I need to take a walk to clear my head.
Oh, I'm exhausted.
Oh, poor baby. Been lifting your wallet?
No, I'll have you know, I've decided to give my money away to truly needy causes. But a hundred thousand dollars just isn't enough. I need more.
Well, why don't you go on the seniors gambling junket? I bet you could double your money or even triple it.
Well, it's tempting.
Plus, they've got a ninety-nine cent shrimp cocktail.
You've sold me.
Slow down. Are you trying to get us killed?
It's too hot, you maniac. Turn on the air, already.
Hey, mellow out old dudes, or I'll jam this baby into a river.
Miss, I'm looking for Abe Simpson.
Huh uh.
It's important I get a hold of him. I have to tell him I don't care about his money and I love him.
We get that a lot.
He left this morning with the senior casino junket.
Casino?
C'mon, everybody.
Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of Keno, craps and the loosest slots in town. My philosophy is "Enjoy."
Change, please.
A double cheese burger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and for God's sakes, hurry!
Five thousand dollars on, hmmmm, hmmm, let's see...a... what century is this?
The twentieth.
Great! Put it on number twenty.
Excuse me. Excuse me, have you seen an old man with a lot of money? He looks like me, but he's wrinkled? Hello, have you seen a...
Dad! Noooooooooo!
Twenty, black.
Holy Moly! You're winning!
Beat it, boy, you're crampin' my style.
Dad! Please, you gotta quit while you're ahead. You understand that, take all your money and leave now.
Sorry, boy, I have to get enough to help everybody.
But you could lose everything. Come on.
Homer, I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: "If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss... Yours is the earth and everything that's in it. And -- which is more -- you'll be a man, my son."
You'll be a bonehead. Come on.
Put it all on forty-one. I've got a feeling about that number.
The wheel only goes to thirty-six, sir.
Okay, put it all on thirty-six. I've got a feeling about that number.
Dad, no! Gimme that.
Get your clammy paws off my money.
Gimme me that money. Ow! You're hurting me.
Thirty-six, no!
No more bets.
Son, if this lands on thirty-six, I'll...
Double zero.
Son, you saved me from losing all my money. For the first time in my life I'm glad I had children.
So, have you figured out who gets the money?
Yes, Homer, I have.
Come on in. Dignity's on me, friends.
Live from Mt. Splashmore, the tri-county area's funnest water recreation facility. It's the Krusty the Clown Show!
Hey, kids!
You know, today's the last day of our special week on location at fabulous Mt. Splashmore. And I just want to say to the people here have been super to me and Sideshow Mel.
The food, the grog... oh, they threw us a brunch yesterday with fresh fruit, and the most delicious melon, all we wanted. And, of course, the thing I'm gonna miss most -- those special, special Mount Splashmore Water slides, God bless 'em. So much fun. So many memories. Excuse me just a minute.
It has been a great week, hasn't it, Lis?
I hope all you kids come out this weekend and really pack this place just to show 'em how grateful I am. I told them you would. Don't make me a liar.
Okay, kids. It's time to...
Kroon along with Krusty!
I WANT TO GO TO MT. SPLASHMORE. / TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME NOW! / NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! / MT. SPLASHMORE TAKE ME THERE RIGHT NOW!
This is a rather shameless promotion.
Hey, it worked on me.
Me too.
If I take you, will you two SHUT UP AND QUIT BUGGING ME?
Of course.
Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?
Thanks, Dad.
Thanks, Dad.
C'mon Homer. Get the lead out!
Homer, that suit doesn't leave much to the imagination.
Heads up, kids. I'm moving the seat back.
It is back.
All right, everybody stick together. We don't want to get separated...
Challenge the raging waters of death. Dare to discover what water is really made of. H 2 Whoooooaaaa!
Whoooooaaaa!
All right! No line!
Aye carumba!
Okay, Lis. Turn on the waterworks, babe.
Mommy! I want my mommy!
Step aside. Come on. Spread out, spread out. Lost kid. Comin' through. Look out, fatso. Comin' through. Comin' through. Pardon me. Movin' to the front of the line. Hey, Lis, nice work, babe.
No, Maggie! Stay in the shallow end.

Huh, uh. Well, it sounds interesting.

Huh uh.

How much will it cost to build?

Oh, that's the beauty part, it's already built. I need the money to buy a baby to raise in the box until the age of thirty.

What are you trying to prove?

Well my theory is that the subject will be socially maladjusted and will harbor a deep resentment towards me.

Hm, interesting.

Let's see, I want a teargas can, a blue gun with paralyzer darts...

A copy of Radioactive Man number 27. That's the first time he fights Dr. Crab. Then I wanna buy that baseball card where the guy is flippin' the bird.

Oh yeah, I've seen that one.

Oh and the

What the hell is that?

Why, it's a death ray, my good man. Behold!

Hey, feels warm. Kinda nice.

Well, it's just the prototype. With proper funding, I'm confident this little baby could destroy an area the size of New York City.

But I want to help people, not kill 'em.

Oh. To be honest, the ray only has evil applications.

You know, my wife will be happy. She's hated this whole death ray thing from day one.

Oh Lisa. What makes you think you deserve all that money?

I don't deserve it, Grampa. No one here does. The people who deserve it are on the streets and they're in the slums. They're little children who need more library books and families who can't make ends meet. Of course, if you really wanted to, you could buy me a pony.

You're right.

I'll name her Princess and I'll ride her every day.

No, you're right about all the poor souls who need a helping hand. I need to take a walk to clear my head.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

Oh, poor baby. Been lifting your wallet?

No, I'll have you know, I've decided to give my money away to truly needy causes. But a hundred thousand dollars just isn't enough. I need more.

Well, why don't you go on the seniors gambling junket? I bet you could double your money or even triple it.

Well, it's tempting.

Plus, they've got a ninety-nine cent shrimp cocktail.

You've sold me.

Slow down. Are you trying to get us killed?

It's too hot, you maniac. Turn on the air, already.

Hey, mellow out old dudes, or I'll jam this baby into a river.

Miss, I'm looking for Abe Simpson.

Huh uh.

It's important I get a hold of him. I have to tell him I don't care about his money and I love him.

We get that a lot.

He left this morning with the senior casino junket.

Casino?

C'mon, everybody.

Hello, I am Plato. Please partake of Keno, craps and the loosest slots in town. My philosophy is "Enjoy."

Change, please.

A double cheese burger, onion rings, large strawberry shake, and for God's sakes, hurry!

Five thousand dollars on, hmmmm, hmmm, let's see...a... what century is this?

The twentieth.

Great! Put it on number twenty.

Excuse me. Excuse me, have you seen an old man with a lot of money? He looks like me, but he's wrinkled? Hello, have you seen a...

Dad! Noooooooooo!

Twenty, black.

Holy Moly! You're winning!

Beat it, boy, you're crampin' my style.

Dad! Please, you gotta quit while you're ahead. You understand that, take all your money and leave now.

Sorry, boy, I have to get enough to help everybody.

But you could lose everything. Come on.

Homer, I think Rudyard Kipling said it best: "If you can make one heap of all your winnings and risk it on one turn of pitch and toss and lose, and start again at your beginnings and never breathe a word about your loss... Yours is the earth and everything that's in it. And -- which is more -- you'll be a man, my son."

You'll be a bonehead. Come on.

Put it all on forty-one. I've got a feeling about that number.

The wheel only goes to thirty-six, sir.

Okay, put it all on thirty-six. I've got a feeling about that number.

Dad, no! Gimme that.

Get your clammy paws off my money.

Gimme me that money. Ow! You're hurting me.

Thirty-six, no!

No more bets.

Son, if this lands on thirty-six, I'll...

Double zero.

Son, you saved me from losing all my money. For the first time in my life I'm glad I had children.

So, have you figured out who gets the money?

Yes, Homer, I have.

Come on in. Dignity's on me, friends.

Live from Mt. Splashmore, the tri-county area's funnest water recreation facility. It's the Krusty the Clown Show!

Hey, kids!

You know, today's the last day of our special week on location at fabulous Mt. Splashmore. And I just want to say to the people here have been super to me and Sideshow Mel.

The food, the grog... oh, they threw us a brunch yesterday with fresh fruit, and the most delicious melon, all we wanted. And, of course, the thing I'm gonna miss most -- those special, special Mount Splashmore Water slides, God bless 'em. So much fun. So many memories. Excuse me just a minute.

It has been a great week, hasn't it, Lis?

I hope all you kids come out this weekend and really pack this place just to show 'em how grateful I am. I told them you would. Don't make me a liar.

Okay, kids. It's time to...

Kroon along with Krusty!

I WANT TO GO TO MT. SPLASHMORE. / TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME! TAKE ME NOW! / NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! / MT. SPLASHMORE TAKE ME THERE RIGHT NOW!

This is a rather shameless promotion.

Hey, it worked on me.

Me too.

If I take you, will you two SHUT UP AND QUIT BUGGING ME?

Of course.

Will you take us to Mt. Splashmore?

Thanks, Dad.

C'mon Homer. Get the lead out!

Homer, that suit doesn't leave much to the imagination.

Heads up, kids. I'm moving the seat back.

It is back.

All right, everybody stick together. We don't want to get separated...

Challenge the raging waters of death. Dare to discover what water is really made of. H 2 Whoooooaaaa!

Whoooooaaaa!

All right! No line!

Aye carumba!

Okay, Lis. Turn on the waterworks, babe.

Mommy! I want my mommy!

Step aside. Come on. Spread out, spread out. Lost kid. Comin' through. Look out, fatso. Comin' through. Comin' through. Pardon me. Movin' to the front of the line. Hey, Lis, nice work, babe.

No, Maggie! Stay in the shallow end.