jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
Just promise me you won't play anymore practical jokes.
I promise.
Mama! Mama!
Maggie! You talked! Can you say "mama" again?
Sorry lady, show's over.
Oh, Bart.
I dreamed I was married to Corey, and we lived on a pony farm...and Corey was always walking around with his shirt off.
Oh, brotherrr.
Mrs. Krabappel! That was uncalled for!
Well done, old man.
Rod... Todd... this is God.
How did you get on the radio?
Forgive my brother. We believe you.
Talk is cheap. Perhaps a test of thy faith. Walk through the wall. I will remove it for you...later.
What do you want from us?
I got a job for thee. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons porch.
But those cookies belong to our parents.
Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?
Happy God.
Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies.
Yes, sir.
Whoops!
Help! Help!
Hoot mon! Sounds like trouble a-brewin' at the old well.
Help me, please! I fell down the well!
I'll get help, laddie!
A little nip of courage.
Out of my way! Look out, you horse's arse!
Sucker.
Hey, what's up?
Some fool kid fell down a well.
My name is Timmy O'Toole. I just turned ten years old.
Timmy, where are your parents?
Uh... I have no family. I tried to enroll in school, but your Principal Skinner turned me away because of my shabby clothes.
He's a liar!
Booooooo!
The circumference of the well is thirty-four inches. So, unfortunately, not one member of our city's police force is slender enough to rescue the boy.
By God, men -- you're a bunch of marshmallows!
Why don't you go, Chief?
I'm too... important.
Is it Sherri?
Although the well is too dark to see the boy, Timmy has told us his foot is trapped under a rock. Thus, any attempt to pull him up would snap him like a twig.
In desperation, the city is considering more unorthodox solutions.
Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch!
I don't think he's coming back.
With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.
Although we can't reach your boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him.
Dear Lord, before we peel the foil back from your bounty, we ask you to watch over little Timmy O'Toole, trapped in that well.
Bart! What's wrong with you?
Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero.
How do you mean, dad?
Well, he fell down a well... and can't get out...
How does that make him a hero?
Well, it's more than you did!
And finally, Channel Six's own Krusty the Clown has gathered members of the entertainment community -- who normally steer clear of fashionable causes -- for a video called "We're Sending Our Love Down The Well."
I wanted to do something to help that boy. So I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?" I said Thursday -- he said, "I'm busy Thursday" -- I said, "What about Friday?" He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday." Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story.
Yeah, I used to open for Krusty in uh, '69. In fact, he fired me as I recall.
But this isn't about show business. This is about some kid down a hole, or something, and we've all got to do what we can.
THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEART / AS DEEP AS A WELL / FOR THAT POOR LITTLE BOY / WHO'S STUCK HALF-WAY TO HELL.
THOUGH WE CAN'T GET HIM OUT / WE'LL DO THE NEXT BEST THING.
Gas! Out of the hole!
AND WE'RE SENDING OUR LOVE DOWN THE WELL!
ALL THE WAY DOWN.
WE'RE SENDING OUR LOVE DOWN THE WELL!
DOWN THAT WELL!
Krusty, what are your plans for the royalties?
Well, we gotta pay for promotion, shipping, distribution... you know, those limos out back -- they aren't free... Whatever's left, we throw down the well.
Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth! Six dollars a bag!
Step to the rear... plenty of room in the back.
Drop that microphone! Drop it, boy!
This is a special report from Channel Six news.
Disturbing news from the old town well, where young Timmy O'Toole has apparently taken a turn for the worse.
I... a, it's very simple, Kent. The child is reverting to a feral, or wolf-like, state. Here's an artist's conception.
I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but I couldn't get through my sock. Goodnight everybody.
Bart Simpson! The thought of a boy trapped in a well brought out the kindness and love of the entire community. When they find out you've been fooling them, they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors.
Oh yeah? And how are they gonna find out?
The police will catch you sooner or later.
The police. They couldn't catch a cold.
Maybe not, but I bet you're stupid enough to have left a "Property of Bart Simpson" label on that radio.
And Cinderella had the most beautiful gown at the ball. With eight satin petticoats, each more delicate than the last. I think he's asleep.
Want to get a cup of coffee?
Okay. Brave little guy.
Hey, I almost tripped over this thing.
What did I do to deserve this?
Help! Help! I fell down the well.
Tell us something we don't know.
No! My name is Bart Simpson!
What are you doing down there?
Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody.
Well, you sure fooled us, kid.
Hey, I got an idea for a prank. Let's go home and go to sleep. .
Good one, Eddie.
Great joke, guys. Ha ha. Ha. Guys?
So I'm afraid your son is trapped down the well.
You must think we're the worst parents in the world.
Yeah, that's... pretty much the feeling down at the station.
Don't worry, son. Just 'cause you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich full life. I brought you your Krusty doll...
Ow! Knock it off you bald boob!
Hey, don't make me come down there!
Like to see you fit.

Just promise me you won't play anymore practical jokes.

I promise.

Mama! Mama!

Maggie! You talked! Can you say "mama" again?

Sorry lady, show's over.

Oh, Bart.

I dreamed I was married to Corey, and we lived on a pony farm...and Corey was always walking around with his shirt off.

Oh, brotherrr.

Mrs. Krabappel! That was uncalled for!

Well done, old man.

Rod... Todd... this is God.

How did you get on the radio?

Forgive my brother. We believe you.

Talk is cheap. Perhaps a test of thy faith. Walk through the wall. I will remove it for you...later.

What do you want from us?

I got a job for thee. Bring forth all the cookies from your kitchen and leave them on the Simpsons porch.

But those cookies belong to our parents.

Look, do you want a happy God or a vengeful God?

Happy God.

Then quit flapping your lip and make with the cookies.

Yes, sir.

Whoops!

Help! Help!

Hoot mon! Sounds like trouble a-brewin' at the old well.

Help me, please! I fell down the well!

I'll get help, laddie!

A little nip of courage.

Out of my way! Look out, you horse's arse!

Sucker.

Hey, what's up?

Some fool kid fell down a well.

My name is Timmy O'Toole. I just turned ten years old.

Timmy, where are your parents?

Uh... I have no family. I tried to enroll in school, but your Principal Skinner turned me away because of my shabby clothes.

He's a liar!

Booooooo!

The circumference of the well is thirty-four inches. So, unfortunately, not one member of our city's police force is slender enough to rescue the boy.

By God, men -- you're a bunch of marshmallows!

Why don't you go, Chief?

I'm too... important.

Is it Sherri?

Although the well is too dark to see the boy, Timmy has told us his foot is trapped under a rock. Thus, any attempt to pull him up would snap him like a twig.

In desperation, the city is considering more unorthodox solutions.

Grasping the child firmly in his talons, Socrates here will fly him to safety! Just watch!

I don't think he's coming back.

With this hook, and this hunk of chocolate, I'll land your boy. And I'll clean him for free.

Although we can't reach your boy, we can freeze him with liquid nitrogen so that future generations can rescue him.

Dear Lord, before we peel the foil back from your bounty, we ask you to watch over little Timmy O'Toole, trapped in that well.

Bart! What's wrong with you?

Yeah, that Timmy is a real hero.

How do you mean, dad?

Well, he fell down a well... and can't get out...

How does that make him a hero?

Well, it's more than you did!

And finally, Channel Six's own Krusty the Clown has gathered members of the entertainment community -- who normally steer clear of fashionable causes -- for a video called "We're Sending Our Love Down The Well."

I wanted to do something to help that boy. So I called my good friend Sting. He said, "Krusty, when do you need me?" I said Thursday -- he said, "I'm busy Thursday" -- I said, "What about Friday?" He said, "Friday's worse than Thursday." Then he said, "How about Saturday?" I said, "Fine." True story.

Yeah, I used to open for Krusty in uh, '69. In fact, he fired me as I recall.

But this isn't about show business. This is about some kid down a hole, or something, and we've all got to do what we can.

THERE'S A HOLE IN MY HEART / AS DEEP AS A WELL / FOR THAT POOR LITTLE BOY / WHO'S STUCK HALF-WAY TO HELL.

THOUGH WE CAN'T GET HIM OUT / WE'LL DO THE NEXT BEST THING.

Gas! Out of the hole!

AND WE'RE SENDING OUR LOVE DOWN THE WELL!

ALL THE WAY DOWN.

WE'RE SENDING OUR LOVE DOWN THE WELL!

DOWN THAT WELL!

Krusty, what are your plans for the royalties?

Well, we gotta pay for promotion, shipping, distribution... you know, those limos out back -- they aren't free... Whatever's left, we throw down the well.

Authentic Timmy O'Toole baby teeth! Six dollars a bag!

Step to the rear... plenty of room in the back.

Drop that microphone! Drop it, boy!

This is a special report from Channel Six news.

Disturbing news from the old town well, where young Timmy O'Toole has apparently taken a turn for the worse.

I... a, it's very simple, Kent. The child is reverting to a feral, or wolf-like, state. Here's an artist's conception.

I was trying to gnaw my foot off, but I couldn't get through my sock. Goodnight everybody.

Bart Simpson! The thought of a boy trapped in a well brought out the kindness and love of the entire community. When they find out you've been fooling them, they're gonna want to cut you up with rusty razors.

Oh yeah? And how are they gonna find out?

The police will catch you sooner or later.

The police. They couldn't catch a cold.

Maybe not, but I bet you're stupid enough to have left a "Property of Bart Simpson" label on that radio.

And Cinderella had the most beautiful gown at the ball. With eight satin petticoats, each more delicate than the last. I think he's asleep.

Want to get a cup of coffee?

Okay. Brave little guy.

Hey, I almost tripped over this thing.

What did I do to deserve this?

Help! Help! I fell down the well.

Tell us something we don't know.

No! My name is Bart Simpson!

What are you doing down there?

Look, I'll level with you. There is no Timmy O'Toole. It was just a prank I was playing on everybody.

Well, you sure fooled us, kid.

Hey, I got an idea for a prank. Let's go home and go to sleep. .

Good one, Eddie.

Great joke, guys. Ha ha. Ha. Guys?

So I'm afraid your son is trapped down the well.

You must think we're the worst parents in the world.

Yeah, that's... pretty much the feeling down at the station.

Don't worry, son. Just 'cause you're trapped in a hole doesn't mean you can't live a rich full life. I brought you your Krusty doll...

Ow! Knock it off you bald boob!

Hey, don't make me come down there!

Like to see you fit.