jamesliu23/simpsons · Datasets at Hugging Face

text stringlengths 7 697
But she broke the law.
Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen to me. If Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodbye. And if I go down, you're gonna break my fall!
Word to the wise, Quimby. Don't write checks your butt can't cash.
Hear me loud and clear, Wiggum. You bite me, I'll bite back.
You talk the talk, Quimby. But do you walk the walk?
I hereby declare today to be "Marge Simpson Day" in the city of Springfield.
They're like trained seals. Toss 'em a fish and watch 'em slap their fins together.
Well, all's well that ends well. Goodnight, Marge.
Many years ago, the Spanish explorers discovered a little piece of heaven nestled in the Springfield Mountains. They called it "Rancho Relaxo," and so do we. Today it's Springfield's only two-star health spa.
Swim, play tennis or just sit and stare at the walls. At Rancho Relaxo, you're the boss.
Remember, you can't spell "Relaxo" without "relax".
Whaa...
I need a vacation.
What? But Marge, we just had a vacation. Remember Mystic Caverns?
I need to unwind.
I know you do, Marge. But come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it, I'm no day at the beach either. "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"
No. I mean a vacation by myself.
What? You mean we're getting a divorce? Marge, I can change!
No Homie, no. I still love you. A lot of couples take separate vacations.
Well, okay. But you have to swear you're comin' back.
I swear.
All right then.
Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.
Don't worry yourself.
Uh-huh. We've got six months of maternity leave we're never gonna use anyway.
Homer, can you bring Maggie out?
Wish I'd thought of that.
She's startin' to give.
Homer! If Maggie really doesn't want to leave the house maybe she should just stay with you.
Are you sure that's wise?
Uh-huh. He'll probably trade her for a beer and a nudie magazine.
For your information, I can take care of my --
See? Got her on the first bounce.
All aboard for Shelbyville, Badwater, Cattle Skull Testing Grounds and Rancho Relaxo.
Goodbye, Homie.
Good bye? Where's my clean underwear?
Check the dryer!
How often should I change Maggie?
Whenever she needs it.
Marge, Marge, how do I use the pressure cooker?
This is Coma -- WKOMA. Restful, easy listening. Coming up next, a super set of songs about clouds.
Hello Maggie.
Sorry, honey, mommy went crazy...And went far, far away...
So, it's going to be just you and me for awhile. Just you and me.
Kids, you haven't touched your tongue sandwiches. You need something to drink?
We've got Clamato, Mr. Pibb and soy milk.
That's alright. I think I'll just hit the hay.
It's 12:30 in the afternoon.
I'm aware of the time.
Lisa, you'll sleep in my bed. Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.
In your bed?
Uh huh. And I should warn you, I'm told I snore.
Move, Divorce Court's on in fifteen minutes.
I'm scared, Lisa.
You think you know fear? Well, I've seen them naked.
Oh, hello! And welcome to Rancho Relaxo!
I'm Troy Mc Clure. You might remember me from such films as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die," and "Gladys, The Groovy Mule." But today you'll see me in my greatest role -- your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!
Our tour starts in your very own room, where Relaxo Vision offers you the latest Hollywood hits. And after midnight, the finest "R" rated movies Europe has to offer. Ooh-la-la! Today's selections are...
"Thelma and Louise," "The Happy Little Elves Meet Fuzzy Snuggleduck," and "The Erotic Awakening of S".
Chef Rodrigo, what are you up to?
Well, taste for yourself, Troy.
Mmm-mmm-mmm! That can't be good for me -- it tastes too good!
That's where you're wrong, Troy. This whole pot is only fourteen calories.
Ahh... Ahh... Gregory, where have you been all my life?
Feeling tense?
Uh-huh.
Then just push nine on your phone. Then the pound sign. Then four-eight-three. We'll do the rest.
C'mon, Maggie. Nummy, nummy num.
Mmm. Strained peas.
Let go!
Marge, it's times like this I'm glad I flunked out of that Mexican med school.
Hi Homie. I feel much better.
Hi Barney. Thanks for keeping me company.
No problem. Well, well, if it isn't little Bart. Remember your Uncle Barney? Hey Homer, let me hold him.
All right, but just be careful.
Whoa... someone smells stinky. Oh, it's me.
Bart you really shouldn't be looking through other people's things. Find anything good?
I've said it before and I'll say it again... Aye carumba!
Hey, Lis -- Bang! Bang!
Ah, Bart! That's a black-head gun!
Best MacGyver ever.
Mm-hmm. Richard Dean Anderson will be in my dreams tonight.
GO TO SLEEP AND GOODNIGHT/ DA DA DA / DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA/ DEE DEE DEE / DEE DEE / May your Christmas day be nice. Goodnight, my little pork chop.
Oh Maggie, time for your nine a.m. feeding.
Heh, heh, heh.
Maggie?
Maggie?
Maggie?
Maggie?
Maggieeee!!!!
Oh man, you want a bad night, try sleeping on one of these.
Barney, I've lost the baby. It's the worst thing I've ever done.
Don't worry, don't worry. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make you an omlette.
Just help me look!
Are you sure? I make 'em with two kinds of cheese.
Hey, Homer. I think I've got her.
Come on!
Barney! You're gonna pull her arm off.
The sooner I get her out, the sooner we can have omlettes.
So, what's the verdict?

But she broke the law.

Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen to me. If Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodbye. And if I go down, you're gonna break my fall!

Word to the wise, Quimby. Don't write checks your butt can't cash.

Hear me loud and clear, Wiggum. You bite me, I'll bite back.

You talk the talk, Quimby. But do you walk the walk?

I hereby declare today to be "Marge Simpson Day" in the city of Springfield.

They're like trained seals. Toss 'em a fish and watch 'em slap their fins together.

Well, all's well that ends well. Goodnight, Marge.

Many years ago, the Spanish explorers discovered a little piece of heaven nestled in the Springfield Mountains. They called it "Rancho Relaxo," and so do we. Today it's Springfield's only two-star health spa.

Swim, play tennis or just sit and stare at the walls. At Rancho Relaxo, you're the boss.

Remember, you can't spell "Relaxo" without "relax".

Whaa...

I need a vacation.

What? But Marge, we just had a vacation. Remember Mystic Caverns?

I need to unwind.

I know you do, Marge. But come on, you know what our vacations are like. Those three monsters in the back seat. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" And let's face it, I'm no day at the beach either. "Marge, can I have another sandwich? Marge, can I have another sandwich?"

No. I mean a vacation by myself.

What? You mean we're getting a divorce? Marge, I can change!

No Homie, no. I still love you. A lot of couples take separate vacations.

Well, okay. But you have to swear you're comin' back.

I swear.

All right then.

Thanks again for taking the children while I'm away.

Don't worry yourself.

Uh-huh. We've got six months of maternity leave we're never gonna use anyway.

Homer, can you bring Maggie out?

Wish I'd thought of that.

She's startin' to give.

Homer! If Maggie really doesn't want to leave the house maybe she should just stay with you.

Are you sure that's wise?

Uh-huh. He'll probably trade her for a beer and a nudie magazine.

For your information, I can take care of my --

See? Got her on the first bounce.

All aboard for Shelbyville, Badwater, Cattle Skull Testing Grounds and Rancho Relaxo.

Goodbye, Homie.

Good bye? Where's my clean underwear?

Check the dryer!

How often should I change Maggie?

Whenever she needs it.

Marge, Marge, how do I use the pressure cooker?

This is Coma -- WKOMA. Restful, easy listening. Coming up next, a super set of songs about clouds.

Hello Maggie.

Sorry, honey, mommy went crazy...And went far, far away...

So, it's going to be just you and me for awhile. Just you and me.

Kids, you haven't touched your tongue sandwiches. You need something to drink?

We've got Clamato, Mr. Pibb and soy milk.

That's alright. I think I'll just hit the hay.

It's 12:30 in the afternoon.

I'm aware of the time.

Lisa, you'll sleep in my bed. Bart, you'll be sleeping with your Aunt Patty.

In your bed?

Uh huh. And I should warn you, I'm told I snore.

Move, Divorce Court's on in fifteen minutes.

I'm scared, Lisa.

You think you know fear? Well, I've seen them naked.

Oh, hello! And welcome to Rancho Relaxo!

I'm Troy Mc Clure. You might remember me from such films as "Today We Kill, Tomorrow We Die," and "Gladys, The Groovy Mule." But today you'll see me in my greatest role -- your video tour guide to Rancho Relaxo!

Our tour starts in your very own room, where Relaxo Vision offers you the latest Hollywood hits. And after midnight, the finest "R" rated movies Europe has to offer. Ooh-la-la! Today's selections are...

"Thelma and Louise," "The Happy Little Elves Meet Fuzzy Snuggleduck," and "The Erotic Awakening of S".

Chef Rodrigo, what are you up to?

Well, taste for yourself, Troy.

Mmm-mmm-mmm! That can't be good for me -- it tastes too good!

That's where you're wrong, Troy. This whole pot is only fourteen calories.

Ahh... Ahh... Gregory, where have you been all my life?

Feeling tense?

Uh-huh.

Then just push nine on your phone. Then the pound sign. Then four-eight-three. We'll do the rest.

C'mon, Maggie. Nummy, nummy num.

Mmm. Strained peas.

Let go!

Marge, it's times like this I'm glad I flunked out of that Mexican med school.

Hi Homie. I feel much better.

Hi Barney. Thanks for keeping me company.

No problem. Well, well, if it isn't little Bart. Remember your Uncle Barney? Hey Homer, let me hold him.

All right, but just be careful.

Whoa... someone smells stinky. Oh, it's me.

Bart you really shouldn't be looking through other people's things. Find anything good?

I've said it before and I'll say it again... Aye carumba!

Hey, Lis -- Bang! Bang!

Ah, Bart! That's a black-head gun!

Best MacGyver ever.

Mm-hmm. Richard Dean Anderson will be in my dreams tonight.

GO TO SLEEP AND GOODNIGHT/ DA DA DA / DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA/ DEE DEE DEE / DEE DEE / May your Christmas day be nice. Goodnight, my little pork chop.

Oh Maggie, time for your nine a.m. feeding.

Heh, heh, heh.

Maggie?

Maggieeee!!!!

Oh man, you want a bad night, try sleeping on one of these.

Barney, I've lost the baby. It's the worst thing I've ever done.

Don't worry, don't worry. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna make you an omlette.

Just help me look!

Are you sure? I make 'em with two kinds of cheese.

Hey, Homer. I think I've got her.

Come on!

Barney! You're gonna pull her arm off.

The sooner I get her out, the sooner we can have omlettes.

So, what's the verdict?