jmaczan/rick-and-morty-script · Datasets at Hugging Face

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Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze.

Morty:
I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!

Rick:
Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?

Morty:
Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Rick:
Okay, hold on just a second, Morty.

Morty:
Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh!

Morty:
Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you.

Rick:
Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?

Morty:
Sure thing, Rick.

Rick:
Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place, Morty.

Morty:
Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.

Rick:
There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Morty. It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, Morty, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, Morty. It's got no charge left.

Morty:
What?!

Rick:
It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.

Morty:
Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?

Rick:
There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.

Morty:
Uh-oh.

Rick:
When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.

Morty:
In my butt?

Rick:
Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.

Morty:
Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that.

Rick:
Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty

Morty:
Uuuh.

Rick:
And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y- you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.

Morty:
In my butt?

Rick:
Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty.

Morty:
Oh, man.

Principal Vagina:
The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.

Beth:
What? Why didn't you notify us?

Principal Vagina:
I done been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?

Jerry:
Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?

Principal Vagina:
Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school.

Beth:
Summer?

Summer:
What kind of God lets this happen?

Morty, oh, you really d-did a number on your legs right now. You know, you got to turn the shoes on, Morty, for them to work. Yeah, look I turned mine on. I had no problem getting down here. It was a leisurely breeze.

Morty:

I'm in a lot of pain, Rick!

Rick:

Yeah, I can see that. But do you think you'll still be able to help me collect my seeds, Morty?

Morty:

Are you kidding me?! That's it, Rick! That's the last straw! I can't believe this! I'm sitting here with both of my legs broken, and you're still asking me about getting those seeds?! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Y-y-you're a monster. Y-you're like Hitler, but-but even Hitler cared about Germany or something.

Rick:

Okay, hold on just a second, Morty.

Morty:

Ooh! Ohh! Ooh! Hnngh! Hoo! Ooh! Ohh! Aaaaagh! Oooooh!

Morty:

Ooh, Ohh, Ooh. Wow, Rick. That stuff just healed my broken legs instantly. I mean, I've never felt so good in my life. Thank you.

Rick:

Don't worry about it, Morty. Just come help me get these seeds, all right, buddy?

Morty:

Sure thing, Rick.

Rick:

Not that you asked, Morty, but what just happened there is I went into a future dimension with such advanced medicine that they had broken-leg serum at every corner drugstore. The stuff was all over the place, Morty.

Morty:

Wow, that's pretty crazy, Rick.

Rick:

There's just one problem, Morty one little hang-up. The dimension I visited was so advanced, that they had also halted the aging process, and everyone there was young, Morty, and they had been forever. I was the only old person there, Morty. It was like I was some sort of, you know, celebrity, walking around. I-I was fascinating to them. There were a lot of attractive women there, Morty, and they-they-they— they all wanted time with me. I had a lot of fun with a lot of young ladies, but I spent so much time there, my interdimensional portal device it's got no charge left, Morty. It's got no charge left.

Morty:

What?!

Rick:

It's as good as garbage, Morty. It's not gonna work anymore, Morty.

Morty:

Oh, geez, Rick, that's not good. W-what are we gonna do? I-I have to be back at school right now. How are we gonna get back home?

Rick:

There's ways to get back home, Morty. It's just it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs, so you're gonna have to do me a real solid.

Morty:

Uh-oh.

Rick:

When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Morty.

Morty:

In my butt?

Rick:

Put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit.

Morty:

Oh, geez, Rick. I really don't want to have to do that.

Rick:

Well, somebody's got to do it, Morty. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Morty

Morty:

Uuuh.

Rick:

And they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Morty. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. You got to do it for grandpa, Morty. Y- you've got to put these seeds inside your butt.

Morty:

In my butt?

Rick:

Come on, Morty. Please, Morty. You have to do it, Morty.

Morty:

Oh, man.

Principal Vagina:

The fact is, your son, Morty, has attended this school for a total of seven hours over the last two months.

Beth:

What? Why didn't you notify us?

Principal Vagina:

I done been notifying you. Have you not been getting the messages I've been leaving with Morty's grandfather?

Jerry:

Boom! Told you! In your face! He is ruining our child! Wait, what am I celebrating?

Principal Vagina:

Yeah, see, I thought something was fishy there, because it's usually Morty's grandpa that's taking him out of school.

Beth:

Summer?

Summer:

What kind of God lets this happen?