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rick-and-morty-script

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Jerry:
You're beyond our reasoning!
Rick:
Takes one to know one.
Beth:
Dad, how could you make my son miss an entire semester of school? I mean, it's not like he's a hot girl. He can't just bail on his life and set up shop in someone else's.
Rick:
What what are you guys doing with my stuff?
Beth:
We're moving you to a nursing home.
Rick:
A nursing home? What are what are you, nuts? I'm a genius. I build robots for fun.
Jerry:
Well, now you can build baskets and watch Paul Newman movies on VHS and mentally scar the Boy Scouts every Christmas.
Beth:
What does that mean?
Jerry:
It's personal.
Morty:
Dad, mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all.
Jerry:
Morty, stay out of this. You are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own.
Rick:
What are you trying to say about Morty? That he's stupid or something?
Beth:
Oh, don't high-road us, dad. You know fully well that Morty is the last child that needs to be missing classes.
Rick:
I-I-I don't know what you mean by that. Can can can you be a little bit more specific?
Jerry:
Oh, for crying out—he's got some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?
Morty:
I do?
Jerry:
Well, duh doy, son. Look, I love you, Morty, but we both know you're not as fast as the other kids, and if you want to compete in this world, you got to work twice as hard.
Morty:
Aw, geez, dad. Y-you know, that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once.
Rick:
Morty, t-tell your parents the square root of pi.
Morty:
Oh, come on, Rick. You know I can't.
Rick:
The square root of Pi, Morty. Go!
Morty:
1.77245385... Whoa!
Beth:
What the hell?
Jerry:
Holy crap. He's right.
Rick:
Morty, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics.
Morty:
The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system." Wow! I'm so smart!
Jerry:
But—
Rick:
I told the both of you school is stupid. It's not how you learn things. Morty's a gifted child. He has a special mind. That's why he's my little helper. He's like me. He's gonna be doing great science stuff later in his life. He's too smart for school. He needs to keep hanging out and helping me.
Beth:
Jerry, I don't want whatever's happening here to stop.
Jerry:
No, I-I understand. Uh, maybe we overreacted. But he has to keep going to school.
Rick:
Okay, Jerry. You drive a hard bargain, but what am I supposed to do? Say no? You-you really wear the pants around here. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication.
Summer:
Frank Palicky was frozen to death today!
Rick:
No idea what you're talking about.
Jerry: