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rick-and-morty-script

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Okay. Well, uh, Morty, it's your bedtime in an hour. Don't stay up all night again. This is good, though. This can work. I think we can be a family and now, Beth, if you'll have me, I would love to have you.
Beth:
You know what? Okay.
Morty:
Holy cow, Rick. I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter.
Rick:
Full disclosure, Morty it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity.
Morty:
Aw, man.
Rick:
Yeah, and once those seeds wear off, you're gonna lose most of your motor skills, and you're also gonna lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Morty.
Morty:
Ohh, man. Oh, geez! Ohh.
Rick:
I'm sorry, Morty. It's a bummer. In reality, you're as dumb as they come and I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures. And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, Morty and you're gonna keep your mouth shut about it, Morty, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart, Morty but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, Morty, and you're gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, Morty. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world is our enemy, Morty. We're the only friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around, and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over, rickandmortyadventures.com. All 100 years. Every minute, rickandmorty.com.
Jerry:
What? Why are you looking at me? You want to go outside? Outside?
Jerry:
Outside?
Jerry:
Are you kidding me?! Come on!
Summer:
Oh, my God.
Morty:
What's wrong?
Jerry:
Your idiot dog!
Morty:
Oh, he he didn't mean it, dad. Did you, snuffles? You're a good boy.
Jerry:
Don't praise him now, Morty! He just peed on the carpet! Bad dog! Bad!
Rick:
Morty, come on. I need your help tonight.
Jerry:
Hey, wait, hold on a second, Rick. You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of crazy science thing you could whip up that might help make this dog a little smarter, would you?
Rick:
I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Jerry. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread. Come on, Morty.
Jerry:
Listen, Rick, if you're gonna stay here rent-free and use my son for your stupid science, the least you could do is put a little bit of it to use for the family. You make that dog smart or Morty's grounded!
Summer:
Ha-ha!
Morty:
Aw, man!
Rick:
Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Jerry.
Rick:
All right, Ruffles What's his name?
Morty:
Snuffles.
Rick:
Snuffles, shake.
Rick:
Roll over.
Rick:
Go to the bathroom.
Jerry:
Holy crap!
Summer:
No way.
Rick:
Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Jerry. Have fun. Come on, Morty.
Morty:
That was fantastic, Rick!
Rick:
Yeah, Morty, if you like that, boy, you're you're really going to flip your lid over this one.
Morty:
W-w-w-what is it?