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rick-and-morty-script

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Cop Rick:
Well, I’m glad to know there’s more like me.
Cop Morty:
Oh, there was one. Why do you think that seat was empty?
Cop Rick:
Fifth and ? That’s Mortytown.
Cop Morty:
Unit 7 responding.
Teacher Rick:
Good idea, Rick.
Teacher Rick:
This is a great adventure.
Teacher Rick:
I love being your new Morty.
Slick:
Farty!
Teacher Rick:
Very amusing, Mr. Smith. Almost as amusing as when your first Rick was decapitated on Zorpathion 9. Or was that your third Rick? How many Ricks have you had?
Slick:
Five…
Teacher Rick:
I see. So you are top of the class in something. Tomorrow you will be transferred to your new Ricks. Hopefully, they will be your last. Yes, Slow Ri-- Tall Morty?
Teacher Rick:
Anything’s possible, Tall Morty. Ugh…
Lizard Morty:
Guess we won’t be seein’ each other after this, huh?
Slick:
I say we make our last day count. I say… we go to the Wishing Portal.
Glasses Morty:
That’s a myth.
Lizard Morty:
If we’re not here for graduation, our butts are gonna end up in Mortytown.
Slick:
I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard, not a chicken.
Lizard Morty:
Okay, fine. I’m in.
Glasses Morty:
Me too.
Lizard Morty:
I-I thought I saw a fly.
Cop Morty:
No Ricks, no families, high off their asses and runnin’ amok. Mortys are raised to be sidekicks. Without a side to kick, they just start kickin’.
Cop Morty:
Yeah, make sure you get that down.
Cop Rick:
Any mutations? Augmentations? Three eyes, a tail, maybe a buzzcut?
Cop Morty:
Lemme turn over a few rocks.
Cop Morty:
Aw geez, hey, what’s goin’ on, fellas?
Morty 1:
Aw geez, man, nothin’ man, we’re just hangin’ out and stuff.
Cop Morty:
I hear that, ah geez, I guess I’m supposed to be figuring out who robbed the store across the street but aw geez I dunno.
Morty 2:
Ah geez man, that sucks that your Rick’s makin’ you do that.
Cop Morty:
He’s not my Rick. He’s my partner. Aw, geez.
Morty 1:
Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference. Who am I to say? To me, you just look like a sidekick.
Cop Morty:
CALL ME A SIDEKICK ONE MORE TIME! CALL ME A SIDEKICK!!
Morty 2:
Hey man! C’mon, aw geez!
Cop Morty:
WANNA SEE HOW I PAINT A WALL?!