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And then, paradoxically, we have found ourselves in a new
dimension, the real world of spirit and faith. Enough
willingness, enough open-mindedness -- and there it is!
A.A. TODAY, P. 9
Aspects of Tolerance
All kinds of people have found their way into A.A. Not too
long ago, I sat talking in my office with a member who bears
the title Countess. That same night, I went to an A.A.
meeting. It was winter, and there was a mild-looking little
gent taking the coats. I said, "Who's that?"
And somebody answered, "Oh, he's been around for a long
time. Everybody likes him. He used to be one of Al Capone's
mob." That's how universal A.A. is today.
We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one
way by which faith canbe acquired. All of us, whatever our
race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator, with
whom we may form a relationship upon simple and
understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest
enough to try.
Domination and Demand
The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability
to form a true partnership with another human being. Our
egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon
dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far
too much.
If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail
us, for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our
insecurity grows and festers.
When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own
willful desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we
develop hurt feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to
retaliate.
My dependency meant demand -- a demand for the
possession and control of the people and the conditions
surrounding me.
Money -- Before and After
In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply were
inexhaustible, though between binges we'd sometimes go to
the other extreme and become miserly. Without realizing it,
we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money
was the symbol of pleasure and self-importance. As our
drinking became worse, money was only an urgent
requirement which could supply us with the next drink and
the temporary comfort of oblivion it brought.
Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we
found we could not place money first. For us, material wellbeing always follows spiritual progress; it never precedes.
Down to Earth
Those of us who have spent much time in the world of
spiritual make-believe have eventually seen the childishness
of it. This dream world has been replaced by a great sense of
purpose, accompanied by a growing consciousness of the
power of God in our lives.
We have come to believe He would like us to keep our heads
in the clouds with Him, but that our feet ought to be firmly
planted on earth. That is where our fellow travelers are, and
that is where our work must be done. These are the realities
for us. We have found nothing incompatible between a
powerful spiritual experience and a life of sane and happy
usefulness.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 130
Coping with Anger
Few people have been more victimized by resentment than
have we alcoholics. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and
a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective.
Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from
unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always
justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced
people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These
"dry benders" often led straight to the bottle.
Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must
avoid quick-tempered criticism, furious power-driven
argument, sulking, and silent scorn. These are emotional
booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. When we
are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step
back and think. We can neither think nor act to good purpose
until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.
TWELVE AND TWELVE
Community Problem
The answer to the problem of alcoholism seems to be in
education -- education in schoolrooms, in medical colleges,
among clergymen and employers, in families, and in the
public at large. From cradle to grave, the drunk and the
potential alcoholic will have to be completely surrounded by
a true and deep understanding and by a continuous barrage
of information.
This means factual education, properly presented.
Heretofore, much of this education has attacked the
immorality of drinking rather than the illness of alcoholism.
Now who is going to do all this education? Obviously, it is
both a community job and a job for specialists. Individually,
we A.A.'s can help, but A.A. as such cannot, and should not,
get directly into this field. Therefore, we must rely on other
agencies, on outside friends and their willingness to supply
great amounts of money and effort.
GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1958
Imaginary Perfection
When we early A.A.'s got our first glimmer of how spiritually
prideful we could be, we coined this expression: "Don't try to
be a saint by Thursday!"
That oldtime admonition may look like another of those