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degree that meets our practical needs. Nevertheless, we |
should be grateful that our friends in psychiatry have so |
strongly emphasized the necessity to search for false and |
often unconscious motivations." |
Those Other People |
"Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what |
other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins |
of such people, especially those whose sins did not |
correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only |
increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity |
would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody. |
"So, nowadays, if anyone talks to me so as to hurt, I first ask |
myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is |
none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of |
speaking bitterly to others; that hurtful gossip is but a |
symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and |
consequently that I must never be angry at the |
unreasonableness of sick people. |
"Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to |
forgive others -- also myself. Have you recently tried this?" |
When Infancy Is Over |
"You must remember that every A.A. group starts, as it |
should, through the efforts of a single man and his friends -- |
a founder and his hierarchy. There is no other way. |
"But when infancy is over, the original leaders always have |
to make way for that democracy which springs up through |
the grass roots and will eventuallysweep aside the selfchosen leadership of the past." |
"Everywhere the A.A. groups have taken their service affairs |
into their own hands. Local founders and their friends are |
now on the side lines. Why so many people forget that, when |
thinking of the future of our world services, I shall never |
understand. |
"The groups will eventually take over, and maybe they will |
squander their inheritance when they get it. It is probable, |
however, that they won't. Anyhow, they really have grown up; |
A.A. is theirs; let's give it to them." |
Honesty and Recovery |
In taking an inventory, a member might consider questions |
such as: |
How did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other |
people and me? What people were hurt, and how badly? Just |
how did I react at the time? Did I burn with guilt? Or did I |
insist that I was the pursued and not the pursuer, and thus |
absolve myself? |
How have I reacted to frustration in sexual matters? When |
denied, did I become vengeful or depressed? Did I take it out |
on other people? If there was rejection or coldness at home, |
did I use this as a reason for promiscuity? |
Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his |
family back. This just isn't so. His recovery is not dependent |
upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God, |
however he may define Him. |
A.A. in Two Words |
TALK, 1965 (PRINTED IN GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1966) |
Troubles of Our Own Making |
Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of |
our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, selfdelusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of |
our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, |
seemingly withoutprovocation, but we invariably find that at |
some time in the past we have made decisions based on self |
which later placed us in a position to be hurt. |
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. |
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme |
example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think |
so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this |
selfishness. We must, or it kills us! |
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 62 |
Compelling Love |
The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our |
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the |
penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is |
death for the individual and dissolution for the group. But an |
even greater force for A.A.'s unity is our compelling love for |
our fellow members and for our principles. |
You might think the people at A.A.'s headquarters in New |
York would surely have to have some personal authority. |
But, long ago, trustees and secretaries alike found they |
could do no more than make very mild suggestions to the |
A.A. groups. |
They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go |
liberty to handle this matter any way you please. But the |
majority experience in A.A. does seem to suggest..." |
A.A. world headquarters is not a giver of orders. It is, instead, |
our largest transmitter of the lessons of experience. |
Going It Alone |
Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many |
times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the |
guidance of God when it was plain that they were mistaken? |
Lacking bothpractice and humility, they had deluded |
themselvelvelves and so were able to justify the most arrant |
nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told |
them. |
People of of very high spiritual development almost always |
insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the |
guidance they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice |
ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, |
perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of |
others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific |
than any direct guidance we may receive while we wre still |
inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater |
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