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degree that meets our practical needs. Nevertheless, we
should be grateful that our friends in psychiatry have so
strongly emphasized the necessity to search for false and
often unconscious motivations."
Those Other People
"Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what
other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins
of such people, especially those whose sins did not
correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only
increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity
would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody.
"So, nowadays, if anyone talks to me so as to hurt, I first ask
myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is
none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of
speaking bitterly to others; that hurtful gossip is but a
symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and
consequently that I must never be angry at the
unreasonableness of sick people.
"Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to
forgive others -- also myself. Have you recently tried this?"
When Infancy Is Over
"You must remember that every A.A. group starts, as it
should, through the efforts of a single man and his friends --
a founder and his hierarchy. There is no other way.
"But when infancy is over, the original leaders always have
to make way for that democracy which springs up through
the grass roots and will eventuallysweep aside the selfchosen leadership of the past."
"Everywhere the A.A. groups have taken their service affairs
into their own hands. Local founders and their friends are
now on the side lines. Why so many people forget that, when
thinking of the future of our world services, I shall never
understand.
"The groups will eventually take over, and maybe they will
squander their inheritance when they get it. It is probable,
however, that they won't. Anyhow, they really have grown up;
A.A. is theirs; let's give it to them."
Honesty and Recovery
In taking an inventory, a member might consider questions
such as:
How did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other
people and me? What people were hurt, and how badly? Just
how did I react at the time? Did I burn with guilt? Or did I
insist that I was the pursued and not the pursuer, and thus
absolve myself?
How have I reacted to frustration in sexual matters? When
denied, did I become vengeful or depressed? Did I take it out
on other people? If there was rejection or coldness at home,
did I use this as a reason for promiscuity?
Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his
family back. This just isn't so. His recovery is not dependent
upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God,
however he may define Him.
A.A. in Two Words
TALK, 1965 (PRINTED IN GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1966)
Troubles of Our Own Making
Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of
our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, selfdelusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of
our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us,
seemingly withoutprovocation, but we invariably find that at
some time in the past we have made decisions based on self
which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme
example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think
so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this
selfishness. We must, or it kills us!
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 62
Compelling Love
The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the
penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is
death for the individual and dissolution for the group. But an
even greater force for A.A.'s unity is our compelling love for
our fellow members and for our principles.
You might think the people at A.A.'s headquarters in New
York would surely have to have some personal authority.
But, long ago, trustees and secretaries alike found they
could do no more than make very mild suggestions to the
A.A. groups.
They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go
liberty to handle this matter any way you please. But the
majority experience in A.A. does seem to suggest..."
A.A. world headquarters is not a giver of orders. It is, instead,
our largest transmitter of the lessons of experience.
Going It Alone
Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many
times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the
guidance of God when it was plain that they were mistaken?
Lacking bothpractice and humility, they had deluded
themselvelvelves and so were able to justify the most arrant
nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told
them.
People of of very high spiritual development almost always
insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the
guidance they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice
ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish,
perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of
others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific
than any direct guidance we may receive while we wre still
inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater

degree that meets our practical needs. Nevertheless, we

should be grateful that our friends in psychiatry have so

strongly emphasized the necessity to search for false and

often unconscious motivations."

Those Other People

"Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what

other people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins

of such people, especially those whose sins did not

correspond exactly with my own, I found that I only

increased the total damage. My own resentment, my self-pity

would often render me well-nigh useless to anybody.

"So, nowadays, if anyone talks to me so as to hurt, I first ask

myself if there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is

none, I try to remember that I too have had my periods of

speaking bitterly to others; that hurtful gossip is but a

symptom of our remaining emotional illness; and

consequently that I must never be angry at the

unreasonableness of sick people.

"Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to

forgive others -- also myself. Have you recently tried this?"

When Infancy Is Over

"You must remember that every A.A. group starts, as it

should, through the efforts of a single man and his friends --

a founder and his hierarchy. There is no other way.

"But when infancy is over, the original leaders always have

to make way for that democracy which springs up through

the grass roots and will eventuallysweep aside the selfchosen leadership of the past."

"Everywhere the A.A. groups have taken their service affairs

into their own hands. Local founders and their friends are

now on the side lines. Why so many people forget that, when

thinking of the future of our world services, I shall never

understand.

"The groups will eventually take over, and maybe they will

squander their inheritance when they get it. It is probable,

however, that they won't. Anyhow, they really have grown up;

A.A. is theirs; let's give it to them."

Honesty and Recovery

In taking an inventory, a member might consider questions

such as:

How did my selfish pursuit of the sex relation damage other

people and me? What people were hurt, and how badly? Just

how did I react at the time? Did I burn with guilt? Or did I

insist that I was the pursued and not the pursuer, and thus

absolve myself?

How have I reacted to frustration in sexual matters? When

denied, did I become vengeful or depressed? Did I take it out

on other people? If there was rejection or coldness at home,

did I use this as a reason for promiscuity?

Let no alcoholic say he cannot recover unless he has his

family back. This just isn't so. His recovery is not dependent

upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God,

however he may define Him.

A.A. in Two Words

TALK, 1965 (PRINTED IN GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1966)

Troubles of Our Own Making

Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of

our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, selfdelusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of

our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us,

seemingly withoutprovocation, but we invariably find that at

some time in the past we have made decisions based on self

which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making.

They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme

example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think

so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this

selfishness. We must, or it kills us!

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 62

Compelling Love

The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the

penalty for extensive disobedience to these principles is

death for the individual and dissolution for the group. But an

even greater force for A.A.'s unity is our compelling love for

our fellow members and for our principles.

You might think the people at A.A.'s headquarters in New

York would surely have to have some personal authority.

But, long ago, trustees and secretaries alike found they

could do no more than make very mild suggestions to the

A.A. groups.

They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go

liberty to handle this matter any way you please. But the

majority experience in A.A. does seem to suggest..."

A.A. world headquarters is not a giver of orders. It is, instead,

our largest transmitter of the lessons of experience.

Going It Alone

Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many

times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the

guidance of God when it was plain that they were mistaken?

Lacking bothpractice and humility, they had deluded

themselvelvelves and so were able to justify the most arrant

nonsense on the ground that this was what God had told

them.

People of of very high spiritual development almost always

insist on checking with friends or spiritual advisers the

guidance they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice

ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish,

perhaps tragic, blunders. While the comment or advice of

others may not be infallible, it is likely to be far more specific

than any direct guidance we may receive while we wre still

inexperienced in establishing contact with a Power greater