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with gratitude for the great day in which I was now living. No
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more would it be necessary for me to act for, decide for, or
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protect A.A.
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For a moment, I dreaded the coming change. But this mood
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quickly passed. The conscience of A.A. as moved by the
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guidance of God could be depended upon to insure A.A.'s
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future. Clearly my job henceforth was to let go and let God.
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A.A. COMES OF AGE
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A Way Out of Depression
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"During acute depression, avoid trying to set your whole life
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in order all at once. If you take on assignments so heavy that
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you are sure to fail in them at the moment, then you are
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allowing yourself to be tricked by your unconscious. Thus
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you will continue to make sure of your failure, and when it
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comes you will have another alibi for still more retreat into
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depression.
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"In short, the `all or nothing' attitude is a most destructive
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one. It is best to begin with whatever the irreducible
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minimums of activity are. Then work for an enlargement of
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these -- day by day. Don't be disconcerted by setbacks -- just
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start over."
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Spiritual Axiom
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It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no
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matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us. If
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somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong.
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But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about
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"justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled
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to be mad? And shouldn't we be properly angry with selfrighteous folks?
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For us of A.A. these adventures in anger are sometimes very
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dangerous. We have found that even justified anger ought to
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be left to those better qualified to handle it.
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TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 90
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Learning Trust
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Our entire A.A. program rests upon the principle of mutual
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trust. We trust God, we trust A.A., and we trust each other.
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Therefore, we trust our leaders in world service. The "Right
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of Decision" that we offer them is not only the practical
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means by which they may act and lead effectively, but it is
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also the symbol of our implicit confidence.
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If you arrive at A.A. with no religious convictions, you can, if
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you wish, make A.A. itself or even your A.A. group your
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"Higher Power". Here's a large group of people who have
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solved their alcohol problem. In this respect they are
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certainly a power greater than you. Even this minimum of
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faith will be enough.
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Many members who have crossed the treshold just this way
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will tell you that, once across, their faith broadened and
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deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obsession, their lives
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unaccountably transformed, they came to believe in a Higher
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Power, and most of them began to talk of God.
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Telling the Worst
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Though the variations were many, my main theme was
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always "How godawful I am!" Just as I often exaggerated my
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modest attainments by pride, soI exaggerated my defects
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through guilt. I would race about, confessing all (and a great
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deal more) to whoever would listen. Believe it or not, I took
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this widespread exposure of my sins to be great humility on
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my part, and considered it a great spiritualasset and
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consolation!
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But later on I realized at depth that the great harms I had
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done others were not truly regretted. These episodes were
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merely the basis for storytelling and exhibitionism. With this
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realization came the beginning of a certain amount of
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humility.
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GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1961
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Tolerance Keeps Us Sober
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"Honesty with ourselves and others gets us sober, but it is
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tolerance that keeps us that way.
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"Experience shows that few alcoholics will long stay away
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from a group because they don't like the way it is run. Most
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return and adjust themselves to whatever conditions they
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must. Some go to a different group, or form a new one.
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"In other words, once an alcoholic fully realizes that he
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cannot get well alone, he will soemhow find a way to get well
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and stay well in the company of others. It has been that way
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from the beginning of A.A. and probably always will be so."
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In the Sunlight at Last
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When the thought was expressed that there might be a God
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personal to me, I didn't like the idea. So my friend Ebby made
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what then seemed a novel suggestion. He said, "Why don't
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you choose your own conception of God?"
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That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual
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mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many
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years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
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It may be possible to find explanations of spiritual
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experiences such as ours, but I have often tried to explain
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my own and have succeeded only in giving the story of it. I
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know the feeling it gave me and the results it has brought,
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but I realize I may never fully understand its deeper why and
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how.
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High and Low
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When our membership was small, we dealt with "low-bottom
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cases" only. Many less desperate alcoholics tried A.A., but
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did not succeed because they could not make the admission
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of their hopelessness.
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In the following years, this changed. Alcoholics who still had
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their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars in
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the garage, began to recognize their alcoholism. As this
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trend grew, they were joined by young people who were
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scarcely more than potential alcoholics. How could people
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