Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Patrick: You ruined my cotton candy! | Good! Maybe now you know how I feel about you ruining my life! |
Ball Toss Vendor: Check it out! Public fight! Other Vendor: Working at the carnival sure has its perks! | I have never felt so ashamed. |
Patrick: What do you mean? | If it wasn't for your Forever Glue, I wouldn't be stuck in this thing! |
Patrick: I was only trying to help. | Help?! I think you've helped quite enough today! |
Patrick: Okay, if that's how you feel... I won't help you anymore! | Heh, heh, a lot of drama with that one. |
Sandals: You know, kid, your body isn't the problem. It's your heart. You deserve what you've gotten. Come on, we're out of here. Some people are just born mean. Patrick: Forget SpongeBob, I don't need him. I can do whatever I want! I don't need him. Forget it, you're not his friend anymore. I gotta keep myself occupied so I don't think about Sponge-- I'm not gonna even say his name! What to do, what to do... I know! I'll have a staring contest! Ohh, fiddlesticks. That game's too hard. Patrick in a Thought Bubble: Maybe if SpongeBob was here, he could give you pointers. Patrick: Who asked you?! Forget it! I'll just play...uh... fetch! Where is it? Where is it? Gotcha! Is SpongeBob okay? Oh, what do I care? I'm no longer supposed to help. Buddy! Uhh! SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Hey, what are you watching? | My favorite show. Ha, ha, I love that part! |
Patrick: SpongeBob! Snap out of it! It's me, your best friend, Patrick! | What's that? I can't hear you what with all the lonely voices in my head. |
Patrick: Oh, man, he's too far gone. | Not fit to live in society... |
Patrick: This is all my fault! Me and my dumb ideas! I'm so sorry! | Patrick! Your tears! They're melting the glue! Keep crying! I'll do the same and maybe I can slip out of this thing! Look! It worked! |
SpongeBob and Patrick: All right! | I guess crying does solve your problems after all. Come here, buddy! |
Patrick: Well, at least we're together! Heh. Hey, should I get the glue? Squidward: There's my hat... and there's that, and here we go. SpongeBob and Patrick: | Wey, wook. It's Widward! |
Squidward: What? SpongeBob and Patrick: | Widward's woing to work. |
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: Patrick: Where does he work? Wat the Wusty Wab? SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: What's that supposed to be— some kind of stupid secret code? | We can't tell you 'cause you're not a member of the club. |
Squidward: Oh, yeah? What does it take to be a member, besides being a moron? Moron... as a requirement. | Sorry, Squidward, but you couldn't get in even if you tried! |
Squidward: Huh? Well, I'll have you know that I am a member of over 20 different exclusive clubs all across the sea bottom! Patrick: What did he say? | I don't know. Something about his nose? |
Patrick: Squidward, you and your nose will definitely NOT fit in. Squidward: Oh, what do you two zeros know about fitting in? Why, you should be begging me to join! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward, no, no, no! Stop! No, no, no, stop, please, please! Stop, Squidward! You can't join! You can't join! Can't join! You can't get in! Squidward: Well, this is stupid. There's no room up here! Patrick: That's what we've been trying to tell you! | We've been stuck up here for three days. |
Patrick: We told you you wouldn't fit in. Squidward: | Well, since you're here, Squidward, we'll give you the new member initiation. Are you ready, Patrick? |
Patrick: Ready! SpongeBob and Patrick: Welcome to our club! Welcome to our club! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squidward! Welcome Squid...! Squidward: SHUT YOUR HALF-WIT PIEHOLES!!! I do not now, nor will I ever, want to be a member of your stupid club! Nancy: Whoa! Frank: Make a wish, honey. SpongeBob and Patrick: Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Again! Oh, yeah! Again! Squidward: Oh, no. That didn't just happen. Please tell me that didn't happen! Patrick: What happened? Squidward: Where are we? We're lost! There's no way out! Stuck... in the middle of nowhere... with SpongeBob and Patrick! Squidward: Oh, why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery?!?! WHY-Y-Y-T?! | Cheer up, Squidward, it could be worse. |
Patrick: Yeah, you could be bald and have a big nose. Squidward: Well... this is the end. | No it's not, Squidward! |
Patrick: It's not? | Come on, guys, we're gonna be fine! As long as we stick together. Remember, we're a club! |
SpongeBob and Patrick: | And besides, we have this! |
Squidward: What's that? Patrick: Ohhh! The Magic Conch Shell! Ask it something! Ask it something! | Magic Conch Shell, will I ever get married? |
Magic Conch: Maybe someday. SpongeBob and Patrick: Oooohhhh! Squidward: You've got to be kidding! That is just a stupid toy! How can that possibly help us? | Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes its advice before we do anything. |
Patrick: The shell knows all! | Oh, Magic Conch Shell. What do we need to do to get out of the Kelp Forest? |
Magic Conch: Nothing. Patrick: The shell has spoken! Squidward: Nothing?! We can't just sit here and do nothing! Squidward: I can't believe you two are gonna take advice from a toy! Squidward: All right, all right, all right! I don't need your help. I'm gonna find my way back to sanity! But don't you two sad clowns come crying to me when your circus tent comes crashing down! Sad clowns... sad... clowns. What was that? I was already here! Which way do I go? Oh, I'm lost! Ohh... I'm hopelessly lost! I'll never get out of here! Huh? Hhahahahahahaahhaa!! I'm FREE!! Take that SpongeBob and Patrick!! Ahahaha!! Ahahaha!! Ohhh, there's no way out of here... How's it going over there at Club Shell-for-Brains? Mmm-mmm-mmm. I am hungry. I wonder what's on the menu for Club Squidward tonight? Ah... Doesn't that smell good, SpongeBob? You haven't eaten in days. How about you, Patrick? A big boy's gotta eat. Well, you can't have any. And do you know why, SpongeBob? Because your club president is a shell! If you had listened to me you'd have food, shelter, and a roaring fire. But instead you listened to a talking clam... that tells you nothing. As if the answers to all your problems will fall right out of the sky. Hahaha, fall right out of the sky! Scooter: DUDE! We're falling right out the sky! We gotta drop the load! SpongeBob and Patrick: Praise the Magic Conch! Squidward: Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob... that sure is a lot of food you got there. | It's a gift from the Magic Conch. |
Squidward: Everything sure looks delicious. Oh! Smoked sausages! My favorite! Uh, hey, uh, SpongeBob, I...you know I was just kidding around earlier and-and-and I-I-I mean I'm... I'm still part of the club, right? And... and-and-and-and-and after all, the-the club's gotta stick together, and I-I mean... you know, I-I, um... | Squidward? |
Squidward: Umm...uh..yeah? | Once a member, always a member! |
SpongeBob and Patrick: To the club! Squidward: Yeah. Now, uh, if you'll excuse me... All right... what shall I eat first? The spaghetti, the turkey, the soup, the canned meat? | Why don't you ask... the magic conch, Squidward? |
Squidward: Oh, yeah, like that'll happen. Right after I consult the Magic Toenail. | Squidward, are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch? The conch is the one who gave us this banquet. This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization. |
Patrick: Maybe he's not a brother. Squidward: Hey, y-you guys have it all wrong. I-I love this, uh, piece of plastic. Uh, hello there. Magic Conch, uh, I was wondering... uh, should I have the spaghetti or the turkey? Magic Conch: Neither. Squidward: Oh. Then how about the soup? Magic Conch: I don't think so. Squidward: Could I have anything to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: No?! What do you mean no? I'm starving here! Patrick: Here, let me try. Magic Conch, could Squidward have some of this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich? Magic Conch: No. Patrick: Hmm... Could I have this yummy, delicious, super-terrific sandwich? Magic Conch: Yes. Patrick: All right! Sorry, Squidward. Squidward: Give me that! Could I have something to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Could I have something to eat? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Could I have something to eat!? Magic Conch: No. Squidward: Can't you say anything else but no?! Magic Conch: Try asking again. Squidward: Can I have something to eat? Magic Conch: No! | Squidward, are you all right? |
Patrick: Maybe we should ask the shell if he's okay. Kelp Forest Ranger: Hello? Anyone there? Hello? HELLO?! Do you folks need some help? Squidward: I'm saved! You don't know how happy I am to see you. I have been stranded out here for weeks with-with-with these two barnacle heads and their Magic Conch Shell! Kelp Forest Ranger: Magic... Conch... Shell? You mean like this?! SpongeBob and Patrick: The Magic Conch! A club member! Kelp Forest Ranger: SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward: Uhhbuuuhhh... Kelp Forest Ranger: My conch told me to come save you guys. SpongeBob, Patrick and Kelp Forest Ranger: Hooray for the magic conches! Kelp Forest Ranger: All right, Magic Conch. What do we do now? Magic Conch: Nothing. SpongeBob, Patrick, and Kelp Forest Ranger: All hail the Magic Conch! Squidward: All hail the magic conch! es:El club de Bob Esponja (Transcripción) | Backing up! Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop... |
Squidward: You're better off not knowing. | ...boop, boop, boop! Your Krabby Patty, sir. |
Harold: Do you always serve your food this way? | You mean with a smile? Yes, sir! |
Patrick: Beware! Let it be known to all far and wide, The mollusks are coming! Tally, ho! The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! | Not the mollusks! |
Patrick: Mollusks? What mollusks? | There aren't any mollusks coming, are there, Patrick? |
Patrick: No. I was only pretending to be my famous, Great-Great-Great Uncle, Patrick Revere! He rode through the streets warning Bikini Bottom of the coming hordes of ravenous, man-eating mollusks! Patrick Revere: The mollusks are coming! The mollusks are coming! Patrick: It's too bad nobody listened to him. Fish #2: What beeth the deal with ye olde nutcase? | Wow, Patrick. I didn't know you had a famous relative. |
Patrick: Well the best part about it is, I don't have to accomplish anything in life, because my Uncle already did it for me. Really takes the old pressure off. Mr. Krabs: That's nothing! My Great-Great Grandpappy Krabs invented the greatest thing since loose change! The spendthrift billfold system! Allow me to demonstrate. Hey SpongeBob, how about a raise? | Gee, thanks, Mr. Krabs! |
Mr. Krabs: A-a-ah, watch. See? | Doesn't that hurt? |
Mr. Krabs: Every time! | Gosh, I don't have anyone famous in my family. |
Patrick: Oh, well then it's lucky you have me as a famous friend. Or your life would be a hollow shell. | I'll bet you're someone's famous poop-covered ancestor. I never realized how sad and empty my life was, until my friends pointed it out. |
Sandy: HI-YAH! | Hi, Sandy. |
Sandy: Something wrong, SpongeBob? You look sadder than a bullfrog full of sody-pop. | Do you have any famous relatives, Sandy? |
Sandy: I sure do! My great aunt Rosie Cheeks was the first squirrel to discover oil. At Spindletop, Texas. Voice: She's ready to blow! | Seems like everybody in town has a famous relative. Everybody except me. |
Sandy: Come on, I'll bet y'all got someone famous in your family tree. | Well, there was my uncle Sherm. He could stick an entire watermelon up his nose. |
Sandy: That's not the kind of famous I mean. Come on. Let's do a little digging around your family tree. Sandy: Family Histories of Bikini Bottom. Let's see, SquareHead, SquareShirt, SquarePants, Hey, looky here! | Gasp! |
Sandy: It's a statue of SpongeBuck SquarePants! | I've never even heard of him! He got his own statue? |
Sandy: Says here he saved the entire town of Dead Eye Gulch, that's what Bikini Bottom was known as back in the old west days. It was a town that lived under the tyranny of a nasty crook 'til a mysterious stranger came to town. SpongeBuck: Wow! The big city! Well, time to make my fortune. Sandy: Back in them days, the whole place was run by that no-good galoot, Dead Eye! SpongeBuck: Shoo-Wee! This place sure is big and fancy-like! Gee, willigers! They got an ice cream parlor! I'll take one scoop of vanilly ice cream, please. Fish #4: You're new here, aren't you? SpongeBuck: Yep. I just got off from the train. Fish #4: You don't say. William Krabs: Business is good today! SpongeBuck: Howdy do, y'all? Hopalong Tentacles: Great, another hayseed. William Krabs: Charge him double for his drinks. SpongeBuck: Howdy, partner! Pardon, but is this stool taken? Fish #5: Yeah. Some fancy dude just sat in it. Hopalong: What can I get you, stranger? SpongeBuck: Give me a shot of milk. Hopalong: Milk? SpongeBuck: Two percent. Hopalong: Think you can handle it? SpongeBuck: I drink this stuff every day. Over the lips and through the gums, look out tapeworm, here it comes! Get ready Tapey. Aah, Oh, yeah! Smooth. Hopalong: Right. William Krabs: What brings you to Dead Eye Gulch, stranger? Hopalong: Strange is right. SpongeBuck: The name's SpongeBuck. I left home to make my way here in the big city. I'm here for the job. William Krabs: Wonderful! You're hired. Hey everybody! Meet our new sheriff! SpongeBuck: Sheriff? I'm not here for the sheriff job. I'm here for the fry cook job. Back home, I'm known for my rootin-tootin, never-pootin chili. The spiciest chili west of the old west farm. William Krabs: No offense, kid. But your chili tastes terrible. SpongeBuck: In a good way? William Krabs: No, in a terrible way. Look, we already gave you the badge. And the law of the west says: no take backs! Hopalong: Since when? William Krabs: Shshshshshsh! So that means, you're the new sheriff! SpongeBuck: What happened to the old sheriff? William Krabs: Uh, he's at Boot Hill. SpongeBuck: Gasp! And, why is he at boot hill? William Krabs: Because Old Dead Tree Hill was totally full. Pecos Patrick: He's a' coming! Dead Eye's a' coming! Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Dead Eye?! William Krabs and Hopalong: Dead Eye?! SpongeBuck: Who's Dead Eye? Pecos Patrick: I'll tell you who Dead Eye is! But I shall do it through song. Maestro, if you please. ♪Oh, Bikini Gulch was a purdy place with sweet water and blue sky. 'Til one day a beast 'come a-riding from the east by the name of Ol' Dead Eye.♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: ♪That dirty, no-good Dead Eye!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Oh, he's robbed this town, he's pulled my pants down!♪ Polene Puff: ♪He made all the pretty girls cry!♪ William Krabs: ♪That no-good goon wants my saloon! And me I.O.U's due tomorrow noon! If we don't get some help here real soon...♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: ♪We'll lose everything we own to Dead Eye! We'd stop him if we weren't too scared to try!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪And if you think that's funny, let me tell you, sonny, you won't be laughing when you SEE...♪ ♪HIS...♪ ♪BIG...♪ ♪RED...♪ ♪DEAD EYE!♪ Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch and SpongeBuck: ♪Dead Eye!♪ Dead Eye Plankton: That's me! Dead Eye Plankton! Pecos Patrick: Who?... Hopalong: We just sang a whole song about him! Dead Eye Plankton: Well, what are you looking at?! Pecos Patrick: Aw, again? Dead Eye Plankton: Get up you two! I'm here for my... money, Krabs . William Krabs: What? How am I supposed to keep the deed to me saloon if you keep taking all me mortgage payments? I'm going broke, here! Dead Eye Plankton: That's the idea! I thought we were all clear on that. William Krabs: Oh, yeah. Dead Eye Plankton: I'll be back at high noon tomorrow for the deed! SpongeBuck: Hey! That's not your money. Dead Eye Plankton: WHO SAID THAT? Well, last time I checked, this town was Dead Eye Gulch! Not Yokelburg! then Yokelburg... Who are you anyway? SpongeBuck: I'm SpongeBuck, the new sheriff. Want some chili? Dead Eye Plankton: Sheriff! 'Round these parts we call them coffin jockeys! SpongeBuck: Coffin jockeys!? You didn't say anything about that! Dead Eye Plankton: That must be a new record for running off a sheriff. SpongeBuck: Hope I haven't missed the first post. Whoa, girl! Dead Eye Plankton: Where do you get these guys? All right, kid. I'm going to make it simple for you. I'm a villain, got it? SpongeBuck: Uh huh. Dead Eye Plankton: And this town ain't big enough for the both of us! Understand? SpongeBuck: Yep. Dead Eye Plankton: So, vamoose! Or we're going to have to settle this western-style at high noon, savvy? SpongeBuck: Sounds great! Dead Eye Plankton: You have no idea what I'm talking about? SpongeBuck: Nope. Dead Eye Plankton: (sighs) And stay out! Hey, only three seconds off my record! What are you hayseeds looking at? Get out of here! Fish #6: What's gonna happen to the town now, Pa? Fish #7: I ain't your pa. Dead Eye Plankton: I love this town! SpongeBuck: Whoa, gal, whoa! Whoa! Looks like the end of the trail. We're out of food, water, and lip balm! I'm sorry, old Paint! Guess I have to put you out your misery! So long, old friend! Cowbone #1: Hey, buddy, you better be careful. Heat does funny things to your head. SpongeBuck: It does? Cowbone #2: Oh, don't listen to that guy, kid! He's looney! Pecos Patrick: Oh, hey SpongeBuck! Those guys are a barrel of laughs, huh? But lazy! Anyway, you've got to get back and save the town, sheriff! SpongeBuck: I ain't no sheriff. Or fry cook or even coffin jockey, and I'm no match for Dead Eye Plankton! I'm nothing. Pecos Patrick: Out west, a man gets right back up on his coffin and faces his problems with the help of his idiot sidekick friend! That's me! Duhhh... SpongeBuck: I don't know, Ow! Okay, okay! I'll do it! Just stop hurtin' me! Besides, you're right! It's time I stepped up and looked him in the eye! So, I'll go back to Dead Eye Gulch, whip Plankton, and save the town at high noon! Pecos Patrick: Hop on, buddy! SpongeBuck: Thanks, idiot friend! But I don't know how we'll ever get back to Dead Eye Gulch by high noon. Pecos Patrick: Don't worry. I got a short-cut. He-ya! Polene Puff: Why are we going so fast? William Krabs: 'Cause without a sheriff, Dead Eye won't stop until he has the clothes off our backs! Dead Eye Plankton: Great idea! Okay, let's see, personal possessions, clothes off your backs, that should about do it! Look, I'm just going to drop off all my new stuff at the bank. I'll be back at high noon to rub my victory in your face with a little dance. Uh huh, waa-waa! Uh huh, waa-waa! Hopalong: I gotta admit, he's got skills. Dead Eye Plankton: That's right! And when I take the deed to your saloon, Krabs, I'll own every building in town! And you'll all have to work for me the rest of your miserable lives! Swallowed a bug! I hate that. It totally ruins an evil laugh. Yee-how! William Krabs: So, that's it. Polene Puff: We lost. Hopalong: I don't know how it could get any worse. SpongeBuck: Hi, guys! I'm back in the nick of time! Pecos Patrick: We're heroes! Hopalong: You're morons! Polene Puff: It's too late. Plankton's taken everything! SpongeBuck: But it's only 11:55. The final showdown always takes place at high noon. Polene Puff: Well, I guess the early bird gets the worm. Hopalong: And all our stuff. William Krabs: And me money! Me beautiful, beautiful money! SpongeBuck: You can't give up! Before I came here, I would've given up, too. But in the short 20 minutes I've known you, I've come to love Dead Eye Gulch. William Krabs: Could you get to the point? We're freezing! SpongeBuck: What I'm a saying is if we all team up together, we can stand up to Dead Eye Plankton, and run him right out of Dead Eye Gulch for good! So, what do you say? William Krabs: Well, I think we all know the answer. All: Forget it, SpongeBuck! Pecos Patrick: Why are you all standing in your pajamas? No, don't tell me. Oh, I know! You're throwing a slumber party! Pillow fight! SpongeBuck: That pillow sure packs a wallop! Pecos Patrick: It's made out of wood, like all pillows in the old west. Round 2? SpongeBuck: I do believe I'd sit this one out. Pecos Patrick: Looks like it's just you and me, kid. SpongeBuck: Come on, guys! We can do this! If we work together! William Krabs: No offense, kid. But your advice is as terrible as your chili. SpongeBuck: I don't blame you for losing faith. I lost faith too. But then, I discovered the love of my new idiot friend. And we've come far. So I'm sure with all of us working together, in idiot friendship, we can beat Dead Eye and save the town! So let's huddle up and make a plan, together! Bzbzbzbzbzb Pecos Patrick: Uh huh, SpongeBuck: Bzbzbzbzbzbzb Pecos Patrick: Uh huh, uh huh, SpongeBuck: Bzbzbzbzbzbzbzbzb Hopalong: Uh, SpongeBuck, why do you keep saying bzbzbzbzbzbzb? SpongeBuck: Umm... Hopalong: You don't have a plan, do you? SpongeBuck: No. To be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far. But I know we can beat him! If we just work together! Dead Eye Plankton: Oh, I am terrified. All: Dead Eye Plankton?! Dead Eye Plankton: So, fry cook, you're back! And all alone. SpongeBuck: You wish, Dead Eye! We are united! Right-- Hey! William Krabs: We're right behind you, boy! WAY, WAY behind you! Dead Eye Plankton: So, it's come to this. Mano y mano. SpongeBuck: Well, you can hold the mano, because it's come down to you and me! Dead Eye Plankton: Well, well, well, look at the time! High noon! Ow! I hate all of you! William Krabs: Can I try? Dead Eye Plankton: You can't do this! Pecos Patrick: Three yee-haws for SpongeBuck! Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Yee-Haw! Yee-Haw! Yee-Haw! Mr. Krabs: Step right up, folks! Just a dollar to stomp on old Dead Eye Plankton! Dead Eye Plankton: Ah! Ouch! Ooh! Polene Puff: Take that, you no-good little varmint! Dead Eye Plankton: I have a lot of money! Pecos Patrick: Well, sheriff, you beat Dead Eye Plankton and saved the town. SpongeBuck: You forgot the most important part. Pecos Patrick: What's that? SpongeBuck: I discovered the power of idiot friendship. Pecos Patrick: Come with me, I want to show you something. William Krabs: Thank you, sheriff SpongeBuck for saving our town. And for stepping on that little varmint. Dead Eye Plankton: History will vindicate me! William Krabs: We melted down Plankton's gold and made a statue in your honor. Citizens of Dead Eye Gulch: Oooh! Hopalong: I liked my design better. William Krabs: Sorry about the whole “tricking you into being sheriff” thing. And to make it up to you, I've got a new badge for you. If you'll take it. SpongeBuck: Wow! Fry cook! Thank you, good people of Bikini Gulch! The statue is truly amazing! Maybe a little too heavy in the hindquarters, but still, if I ever have a Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandson, I'd want him to look at this and say 'Hey! I'm proud of my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather!' Citizens of Bikini Gulch: Aaw! Fish #8: Say seaweed! | So my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa SpongeBuck saved the town of Bikini Gulch! And everyone in it! I wonder what happened to the statue of my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa. It was much better than that one we have now. |
Sandy: Yeah, and it's covered in jellyfish poop. | Wait a minute, |
Sandy: Gross! Don't touch that, SpongeBob! Eeew! What are you doing?! That boy ain't hooked up right. | Look, Sandy! |
Sandy: HUH?! | SpongeBuck was here all along! Sorry, Great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpa. I didn't recognize you all covered in poop. |
Sandy: Wow! | I've got a lot to live up to. Maybe one day people will know the name SpongeBob SquarePants! |
Sandy: Keep dreaming, SpongeBob. Keep dreaming. SpongeBuck: Hey, everybody! It's good to be here at the Krusty Kantina! We got a real special show for y'all tonight! Featuring my new best pal, this guy! He's an idiot! Pecos Patrick: So, what are we gonna sing about, SpongeBuck? SpongeBuck: We're gonna sing a song about friends! Pecos Patrick: What kind of friends, SpongeBuck? SpongeBuck: Well, listen up and I'll tell you! ♪Who's there for you when you are sad and down?♪ Buffalo Skulls: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Who picks you up and slaps you all around?♪ Clouds: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ SpongeBuck: ♪Who puts thorns in you so you can save the town?♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends, Idiot Friends--♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪--Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Duh, duh duh duh du duh duh do.♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Dah de da da da da da do.♪ SpongeBuck & Pecos Patrick: ♪Idiot Friends!♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪De da da da-doodle, duh do.♪ You know, SpongeBuck, all we've been singing about is what I've done for you. Well, what have you done for me? SpongeBuck: ♪Who helps you pick your pants up off the ground?♪ Pecos Patrick: Thanks, buddy! Dead Eye Plankton: Curses! Pecos Patrick: Only an idiot friend would do that! SpongeBuck: Let's bring it home, idiot friend! Pecos Patrick: Okay. SpongeBuck: ♪Who lets you ride on his coffin?♪ Pecos Patrick: ♪Who slaps you hard and often?♪ SpongeBuck: ♪What do you and me have in common?♪ SpongeBuck and Pecos Patrick: ♪We're idiot friends!♪ SpongeBuck: Thank you, thank you very much. Dead Eye Plankton: Help me! | HIYA! HIYA! YA! YA! YA! YA! YA! YA! Ta-daa! A gift, in your likeness. |
Gary: Meow! | ‘Cause you're so sweet... Get it?! 'Cause pineapples are sweet, and you are sweet also as well. Get it?! |
Patrick: Hey, buddy. You still got that bucket of cheese? Oh no! He's... not right! Don't worry, pal! I'll help you! Patrick: Buddy! You okay? | Ahhh. Patrick, Thank you so much! If it weren't for your tremendous gorilla strength, I would've been a goner! If there's anything I can do to return the favor, anything at all... you just let me know. Anyway, back to my Karate exercises. Oh, and help yourself to the cheese bucket. Thanks again, buddy. HIYA! |
Patrick: Hey! I want to learn how to do that. | What, what, you mean karate? |
Patrick: Uh-huh! | Oh, Patrick, Patrick, Patrick... my dear, dear friend. Karate is a delicate art, a skill that takes years to... |
Patrick: If I recall correctly, I seem to remember saving your life a few minutes ago. | Yeah... However... |
Patrick: I also remember you saying, If there's anything you can do to return the favor, anything at all... to let you know. | Well, I did say that, Patrick, but, well, karate is about finesse, not so much brute strength. You see, there's so much you don't know. You have not even scratched the surface of the surface. |
Patrick: Then teach me. | As you wish, just remember one thing. With power, comes responsibility. |
Patrick: Oh yeah! Mama! | Okay. Let's start off simple. This is a basic move called the inverted whirlpool. |
Patrick: Inverty whirpey... Got it! Patrick: Woohoo! That was awesome! | Think you can handle that? |
Patrick: Yeah! Yeah! Ha Ha Ha Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! Hey, how do you stop this thing? Harold: Neptune's trousers! What's that?! | Now, this is very easy, watch closely. Haa-haah. You got it? |
Patrick: Definitely! | Patrick, I didn't want to have to say this... but you're... you're unteachable. |
Patrick: What?! I...! Barnacles! | Look what you did to this wall of cinder blocks. In all my years of training, I've never seen a perfect slice. No one's ever been able to execute such a clean karate chop through solid cinder! |
Patrick: Wow! | You're a natural! A karate genius! |
Patrick: Clamo! | Now let's put your new skills to the test. This is sharpened, tempered steel. Now don't be frustrated if it takes a few tri- . Wow. Amazing! This is an abandoned, broad-ironed steamboat, solid as a rock. Think you got what it takes? Ahhh... better luck next time. |
Patrick: Yeah! I bet I can chop anything! Sadie: AAAAAHHHH! Patrick: HIIIII- | Noooooo! What did I tell you?! |
Patrick: I'm a genius? | Not that! ...this. : With power... comes responsibility. That means no chopping of any life from or their property. You understand? |
Patrick: Yesss... | Good! Oh man, I'm late for work. See you later, buddy. Don't forget what I said. |
Patrick: Okay! I'm a genius! Patrick: Karate power! Squidward: What's this? Hhmmm... haven't seen this before. | Hey, look, it's Patrick! |
Patrick: Hi-yah, SpongeBob! | What are you doing... Dear Neptune! |
Patrick: Good day, gents! Ahhh, Squidward, I would like a HIYAAA! Squidward: A... What? Patrick: I said one Krusty Combo. Don't you speak karate? Squidward: Patrick: Looks delish. | Patrick, don't you think you're taking your perfect slice a bit too far? |
Patrick: I don't know what you're talking about. You're the one who called me a karate genius. And, frankly, I'm offended by your previous accusation. I don't need this! I beg you good due. | But, but, but- |
Patrick: No buts! Just hands. | Oooohhh! |
Mr. Krabs: You do realize I'm taking that out of your pay check. Patrick: Uuuuuhhhhh... Seaweed Surprise! Also!... uuuuuuhhhhh... Malted Coral Crunch! Oooh... Ooh, also, Lipids and Creme! Lou: We're all out. In fact, we're out of everything, which means you owe us $86.50 Patrick: What do you say to a trade? Lou: I say, pay up before I call the cops. Patrick: You dare refuse my barter?!?! Then accept my chop! Ahhh... I don't feel so good. Billy: Aha! Hand in the tip jar again, eh! Patrick: What is that wonderful stench? Whatcha got there? Harold: Spinach and chocolate spaghetti in calamari sauce. You wanna bite? Patrick: NO! It's more fun to chop! Hahahahahahaha! Patrick: I win, I win, I win! Patrick: HIYAA HIYAA- Lifeguard fish: Help! Help! There's a mad chopper on the loose! | Mad chopper?! Patrick! |
Lifeguard fish: We need the cops, kid! | Cops? No, that won't be necessary. I'll handle this, citizen. |
Lifeguard fish: Don't do it kid. | Unhand my ankle, sir, my friend needs me. |
Lifeguard fish: You don't know what you're doing. Don't walk out that door! NOOOOO! | Patrick, what are you doing? |
Patrick: SpongeBob, just the man I was looking for. I wanted to thank you, buddy. | For what? |
Patrick: For teaching me how to karate chop, silly. | You gotta stop, buddy, you're destroying the entire town! |
Patrick: Wooooooooooo. | Just stop chopping, okay, Patrick? |
Patrick: You got it, buddy. No more karate chops! | You're still chopping! |
Patrick: I know! Weird, huh? | Patrick, stop it! |
Patrick: Oh. Okay. I know, I'll stop a chop, with a chop! | You must resist! AHHHHHAAHH! Wait up, Patrick! Triton's tunic! |
Fish : He's headed straight for the Barg'N-Mart! Patrick: HIYA YA! Oh, no! Not the muffin display... YAAAAH! News Reporter: This just in, a mad man is chopping everything. Patrick: Not the giant-screen TVs! Oh no! News Reporter: The suspect is considered fat, pink, and dangerous. Patrick: Oh, oh! Gianter TVs! HIYAAA! | Pull it together, buddy! |
Patrick: I'm trying to, but this thing has a mind of its owwwnnnn... YAAAAAA! Patrick: SpongeBob! SpongeBob? SpongeBob! SpongeBob! SpongeBob! Oh, no! I'm so sorry, my best friend, crushed by all this rubble, entombed in this cheap, plastic bag. Dennis: That isn't your friend, you kelp-for-brains. Those are cleaning sponges. Patrick: So I haven't crushed the life of my best friend in the world? Dennis: Ummmm...I wouldn't say that. Patrick: SpongeBob! Oh no! Ohhh, I'll never forgive myself No! I'll never forgive you! | Oh, hi, Patrick. What did I miss? |
Patrick: SpongeBob, you're okay! | Patrick! Your arm! |
Patrick: Ha! Don't worry, SpongeBob, I'm a sea star. My limbs grow back. See? | Hooray for regeneration! |
Patrick: And in the spirit of healing, I vow to use my hands only to join things together, starting here! | Hey, great job, Patrick! I like the architectural details. |
Patrick #2: HIYAAA! | Patrick! I thought you gave up chopping! |
Patrick: Oh, I did. Unfortunately, we sea stars have limbs that grow new bodies. Patrick #2: HIYYAA! | Hey, somebody left me a package! Heavy! I wonder what's inside. |
Stanley: Phew! Cramped in there. | Cousin Stanley! |
Stanley: Cousin SpongeBob! | So, what brings you to Bikini Bottom, Stanley? |
Stanley: Uncle Sherm said I should come visit you. I have a note from him somewhere. Oh, right. It's in here. Here it is. | Dear SpongeBob. I'm sending your cousin Stanley to live with you. He can't hold down a job and he ruins everything he touches. I can't take it anymore. Maybe you can straighten him out. Love, Uncle Sherm. Well, you're always welcome here, Stanley! My pineapple is your pineapple. |
Stanley: Wow! You've got your own refrigerator. I'm not allowed near the fridge at Uncle Sherm's. Whoa! | Oh well, now I don't have to clean it out. |
Stanley: Yahahaahoo! | Stanley! You okay in there Stanley? |
Stanley: Your toilet is so cool! Is that what I think it is? | Well, it was bath night. |
Stanley: Gee... Whee... Announcer: Only $29.99! Squirrel: You'll never take me alive, flat foot! Stanley: Uncle Sherm never let me watch TV at home. | Why not? |
Stanley: That's why... What's that? | Oh, that's okay. There's nothing good on TV anyway. Nothing... |
Stanley: You work at the Krusty Krab!? | I don't just work there! I'm vice assistant general manager in charge of certain things. That's me turning the front door key! That's me serving a customer! And that's me performing sanitary maintenance! |
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