Non-SpongeBob Dialogue
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Squilliam: Yes, your name, son. | Uhh... Beef Wellington? |
Squilliam: No, your name. | Uhh... err... the fork on the left? |
Squidward: Heh. Stop joking. Tell him your name. | My name? |
Smaller SpongeBob #3: What's his name?! What's his name?! I've got nothing on a name! Smaller SpongeBob #4: Come on, baby, what's the name?!? Smaller SpongeBob #5: We threw out his name! Squidward: I am so very sorry! I don't know what has gotten into that... | More soup for your armpit? |
Fred: | PLEASE ENJOY THE FOOD. Would you like some cheese on that, sir? |
Squidward: No! Nooo! Mr. Krabs: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, EVERYONE! IT'S THE APPETIZER!!! Squilliam: Well, Squiddy, I'm waiting. Squidward: Okay, I admit it, I'm a fraud! This was all a futile, pathetic attempt to impress you. This isn't really my restaurant. I'm just a cashier! Squilliam: Squidward, I understand. I have a confession to make myself. I made everything up about my life. I have no yachts, jets, or anything. I was only trying to impress you. The horrible, sad truth is, I'm a cashier, too! Squidward: Is that true? Squilliam: Of course not! I'm filthy stinking rich! Come on, everyone. Let's all take a ride in my balloon/casino! | Ugh, I got such a headache. What's going on with you? |
Squidward: Oh, the usual. WOULD YOU GET OUT OF HERE!? Mr. Krabs: Ahh, that's the stuff. Hey, something don't smell right. SpongeBob! Hey, what are you burning out here, boy? | Hmm... I'd say a hydrated explosive. |
Mr. Krabs: Explosive!? Plankton: Ha ha ha ha! Enjoy, Eugene! Mr. Krabs: Plankton! I just had that roof redone last week! Plankton: You will be re-re-doing it when I'm through with you! Mr. Krabs: Ready ammunition! Fire! Take cover! Oh, ha, ha, it didn't go off! Another dud, Plankton. Plankton: A dud, huh? Mr Krabs: Oh, you're playing with fire now, Plankton! Plankton: No need to get worked up with this Krabs, just give me the secret formula and I’ll be on my way. Mr. Krabs: Well you ain't getting it. Plankton: I implore you to reconsider. Mr. Krabs: Oh, go jump off a plank. Plankton: I have ways of getting the information I need. Where’s the formula, Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Ha ha ha ha! Plankton: Still not going to talk 'ay' Krabs? OK Krabs, I see you're still not going to crack but I don't think your underling is of the same metal. | I'll never talk. |
Plankton: We’ll see what Mr. Feather has to say about that. | OK, OK! but I don't how to get into the safe behind the painting in Mr. Krabs' office that houses the secret formula! He won't let me near it! |
Plankton: Clever, behind the painting ay Krabs? Mr. Krabs: Errrrrrrr... Plankton: Say what am I smelling? You got something burning? | Smells like blubber to me. |
Plankton: Bl bl blubber? Pearl: Daddy! Plankton: Ahhhhh! Call off your daughter Krabs! Call her off! Mr. Krabs: She's a big girl Plankton, I have no control over what she does. Oh, And you better watch out. I think she's extra hungry today. Plankton: Stay back whale! I'm pippy to what you do to organisms like me. I've seen those documentaries! Pearl: Did he just go into the freezer? Plankton: Don't say it! Pearl: I prefer salad over Plankton anyway. Mr. Krabs: Who knew Plankton was so afraid of whales? Pearl me darling daughter, you saved my business and my formular, now get us out of this trap. Pearl: Mall money. Mr. Krabs: Alright, alright. You're gettin' more like your old man every day. . Pearl, why don't you swing to the Chum Bucket on your way to the mall? Give Plankton a little scare? Pearl: Double my mall money! Mr. Krabs: Alright, SpongeBob. It's your turn! | Here you go, Pearl. Buy something pretty. |
Pearl: Hey, this isn't money! | No, it's even better! This is what Mr. Krabs pays me with. Mr. Krabs' Wacky Bucks! |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, it's all catching up to me... Please, Pearl? I'll do your homework for ya. Pearl: No way! The Chum Bucket is, like, totally gross! Mr. Krabs: Hmmm... in that case, Pearl, I'm gonna need to borrow one of your dressers. SpongeBob & Pearl: Hummina-hunh?/Huh?! Plankton: Karen: My triumphant husband returns. How'd you fail this time? Plankton: Krabs had a whale! Karen: You mean his big, bad, scary teenage daughter? Plankton: I hear that mocking tone in your voice Karen, and I don't appreciate it! Don't you remember what happened to my ancestors at the hands of those beasts? Karen: OK, when you take a break from your delusional paranoia, the trash needs some attention. It's ripened. Pearl/Krabs: I'm hungry! Plankton: That should keep her out! Pearl/Krabs: I want plankton meat! Plankton: Holy protozoa! Karen, she's here! She got in! Karen: What are you talking about? Plankton: There's a whale in the laboratory! Karen: Are you out of your mind? Plankton: See for yourself! Karen: No whale in here. Plankton: I swear! A whale was just in here. She was next to the transmutator. She was right here in this spot! Her mouth all frothy, her blowhole blowing! Karen: Oh, that's enough, Plankton! If you'll excuse me, I have to get back to more permanent primary functions. Plankton: Karen! Karen--! Karen: I'm not listening! Narrator: 16 paranoia filled days later... Karen: Plankton, your dinner is ready. Plankton? Plankton, do you hear me? Plankton: Yes, I can hear you. Can you bring it up? I can't risk stepping into the light. The whale might see me. Pearl/Krabs: Plankton: Hey! Get me out of here! Grand-Dad: Hey, Plankton! Glad you could join the rest of the family! Plankton: Grand-Dad? Grand-Dad: Yep, and you're pretty brave standing in that there gastric acid. Plankton: Gastric acid? ] Pearl: Plankton: I can't take it! Oh, this is driving me crazy! Pearl/Krabs: Plankton: What's the point of going on? I'll just be tortured for the rest of my life by that whale! That's it. I'm done. The 4:15 bus should be along any time now. | Hi, Plankton. Whatchya doin' laying on the middle of the road? |
Plankton: Go away, CheeseHead! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over? In fact, better yet just step on me as hard as you can, will ya? | I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature. |
Plankton: Forget it, kid. I'll just wait for the next bus. Go on back to the Krusty Krab and enjoy yourself. | Okay! |
Mr. Krabs: Goodbye, pipsqueak! | Sorry to interrupt your gloating sir, I just thought it would be pertinent for you to know that Plankton is laying on the street, forlorn. |
Mr. Krabs: Really? He's a mess! | Mr. Krabs, I know you and Plankton are sworn enemies and all, but putting on a dress to frighten him? Isn't that taking it a little too far? |
Mr. Krabs: May I remind you of the fact that you've disclosed the location of me safe, where I keep the secret formula? | No need to remind me, sir. I've broken Rule #2 of the Krusty Krab Rule Book: Never disclose the location of the secret formula! Don't worry, Mr. Krabs. I'll fix this. |
Plankton: Man, what does it take to get run over around here?! | Hi, Plankton. |
Plankton: What do you got? Mud in your ears? Take a hike! | Ah, yes, I remember. But, I just wanted to tell that the secret formula is not, I repeat not, in the safe behind the painting in the Krusty Krab. |
Plankton: Why should I care? All meaning has left my life ever since I've been plagued by that blasted whale. | It's okay. Everybody has a secret fear! For instance, Mr. Krabs' secret fear is... |
Plankton: Really? | Mmm-hmm, and guess what else? It was Mr. Krabs in a whale suit that you've been scared of. |
Plankton: You mean this entire time it's been Krabs masquerading as a whale!? Why that conniving bottom feeder! | But, certainly you wouldn't have use for such innocuous information, would you? |
Plankton: No, of course not. | Oh, all-righty, back to your self-destructive behavior, Plankton. Thank you for this talk! |
Plankton: No, thank you! Mr. Krabs: This is almost too fun! Plankton ain't even a challenge no more! Plankton: Oh, is that so? Mr. Krabs: Oh, Plankton. Back for more, aren'y ya? Okay, here it goes. Boo! Plankton: You don't scare me, Krabs. Mr. Krabs: I ain't Krabs, I'm... uh, I mean... I'm Pearl, not Krabs. Plankton: The jig is up, Krabs. I know all about the suit, AND your secret fear! Mr. Krabs: Secret fear? What are you talkin' about? Plankton: See for yourself. Enjoy the show! Mr. Krabs: No. No. Muh-muh-make it stop! Please! Plankton: Doesn't feel so good on the other end of the stick, does it scaredy pants? (laughs) I am loving this. | Hey, Plankton, if I were you I wouldn't be so smug. |
Plankton: Why not? | Because a hungry pod of whales just showed up for its early feeding. |
Plankton: Ahhhh! Not another feeding! Get me out of here! Mr. Krabs: Whew! Well, you redeemed yourself, boy. Okay, you really are creeping me out now. | The Krusty Krab is stowed and ready to slumber. |
Mr. Krabs: Good job, laddy, another fruitful day pushing patties. | Push-a-what? |
Mr. Krabs: You know, turning patties into lettuce. | Uh, I'm not following you. |
Mr. Krabs: Cabbage, green backs, money! | Oh, you mean your obsession. |
Mr. Krabs: Obsession is kind of a strong word. Sleep tight, me little angels. Plankton: 35 left, 25 right, and finally, 4 left. Open, says me! Hey, what gives? I was looking right at the combination, why isn't it opening? Mr. Krabs: What's going on in here? Hmm, Everything seems to be in order. The safe is still safe. Huh, I must be hearing things. Hey, how'd that pickle end up on the floor? Now, what was that rule about dropped food? Was it 5 seconds or 5 minutes or... ah, well. Waste not, whnt not. Narrator: Approximately 10 hours later... Karen: Plankton, where have you been?! Plankton: Trust me, you do not want to know. Karen: Did you get the Krabby Patty formula? Like I have to ask. Plankton: No, and I probably never will. Karen: You need a more positive outlook! Plankton: Oh, Karen, if only you could just see things way I do. Karen: Plankton! Plankton: What? Karen: I think you hit it! You couldn't see the correct combination because you have only one eye. You lack depth perception. Plankton: Maybe you're right. That would explain why I stink at darts. Karen: What you need is a second eye. Plankton: Karen, my dear, I think you're on to something. Looks like it's time for an upgrade! Plankton: Success! Uh oh, that ain't good. No, no, no, no no no nо nо nо no! I can see every- Plankton: Binocular vision, here I come! What? Oh mamma! Stop, I command you! Oh, come on, please stop! Next. Plankton: Karen, what am I doing wrong? Karen: Your experiments are missing essential one ingredient. Plankton: It's not love, is it? ‘Cause you know I hate that stuff. Karen: No, it's cells from another eye. Even a single teardrop would contain enough DNA. Plankton: Tears, huh? I guess if I have to. Ow! Will these do? Karen: No, silly. They have to be from somebody who already has two eyes. Plankton: Two eyes, huh? I think I know a crybaby who fits that description! | Hi, Plankton! |
Plankton: Hey, SpongeBob, want to hear a sad story? | No, not particularly. |
Plankton: Once upon a time, there was a yellow doofus who loved to drink milk with his lunch. But unfortunately for said doofus, his milk was tragically spilt. The end. | S-s-s-sad story! And so timely! |
Plankton: Get a grip! | Well, I guess Plankton's right. Good thing I always bring backup milk! |
Karen: Are you sure you want to go through with this? Plankton: Yes, let's hurry up and get it over with! Mommy! Here comes the pain! That wasn't so bad. Uh-oh, here we go. Eureka! Karen: So, does it work? Plankton: You tell me. Bullseye! Now for my next target – the Krabby Patty secret formula! Hahahaha! Wha-? Why does everything look so weir- ... look so beautiful?! | La la la la! |
Plankton: Hi, SpongeBob, great to see you, buddy! | Hi, Plankton, whatcha doing? |
Plankton: I thought I was going to steal something. Can't imagine why. So, I'm just enjoying this lovely day! | Okay, buh-bye! |
Plankton: Honey, I'm home! Karen: Oh, you're a happy camper. Did you finally steal the formula? Plankton: Formula, what formula? I forgot the formula! I can't imagine what got into me. Karen: It's that new eye of yours. Your evil DNA has become corrupted by SpongeBob's nice DNA. You've gone from evil.. To neevil! You're becoming as harmless as that fry cook. Plankton: Nonsense, You're imagining things. Karen: Oh, really? Let's test it, shall we? Tell me what you see in these ink blots. Plankton: Hmm. Looks like a pretty butterfly! Karen: Nope. Try again. What does this remind you of? Plankton: Aww, it's a little puppy doggy! Karen: Try this! Plankton: Uhh... Karen: I'll give you a hint. Plankton: A bouquet of flowers! Would you like some flowers, honey? Karen: Cells from that sponge have changed your whole point of view. Plankton: Ah, a few blobs of ink doesn't prove a thing. I'm as evil as ever, I'll prove it right now by stealing the Krabby Patty secret formula. Plankton: Such lovely destruction! Bubble Bass: Help! Save me! Save me! Plankton: I'll help you! Do not worry, citizen, I'll catch you! Bubble Bass: Comin' down. Plankton: Oh no. Bubble Bass: Thanks, buddy! Plankton: Unbelievable! I've committed another selfless act. This eye is taking over! But I must stay strong and concentrate on swiping the Krabby Patty formula. What's this? It's the Krabby Patty formula! Uh-wha.. Krabs must have lost it! Mr. Krabs: And that's why your promotion means a 50% cut in salary, understand, SpongeBob? | Yes, sir, Mr. Krabs! |
Plankton: Hey, Eugene! You missing anything? Mr. Krabs: Me Krabby Patty Formula! Plankton: That's right, Krabs. Unbelievably, I found it lying on the ground! So I'm giving it back to you, take it. Mr. Krabs: Hey! Something smells and it isn't my long johns. Let's see here, you had the formula, why didn't you run off with it? Plankton: Why didn't I run off with it? Why didn't I run off with it? Because that would be stealing! Mr. Krabs: Since when do you care about stealing? Plankton: Oh, it's this cursed new eye! I've got to get rid of it! Must become monocular again. Hahaha, I did it! Mr. Krabs: You know, I don't think I trust this nice, polite, pleasant Plankton. | Mr. Krabs, I think Plankton has really changed. He just needs some encouragement, and I know just how to do it! |
Mr. Krabs: Uh-huh. Plankton: My life of evil is over. Hey, why is it so dark in here? Everybody: Surprise! Plankton: The Chum Bucket's been invaded. I'll never surrender, never! | This isn't an invasion, we're here to show you how much we appreciate all the good deeds you've done lately. We came to give a great big hug! |
Plankton: What, no! Not hugs! It's gone. That disgustingly good eye is finally gone! I'm cured! Thank you, thank you all! Especially you, SpongeBob. | Hey, glad I could help. |
Plankton: Yes, thanks to you I'm evil again, and as a token of my appreciation, I'll give you all a rousing send-off with my infra-red security attack lasers! Oh, well. Depth perception's overrated anyway. | Okay, Patrick, one more book, then you go to sleep, 'kay? |
Patrick: 'Kay. | This one is called You Can Be Anything. |
Patrick: I can be anything? | Oh, sure you can, pal. You can be a firefighter... You can be a doctor... You can be a cowboy. |
Patrick: That's what I want to be! | Cowboy. Great choice. |
Patrick: No, no, no, no, no! That. | A horse? Buddy, I don't think you want to be a horse. |
Patrick: You said I can be anything, and—and I want to be a horse! | Sure, sure, you can be a horse. Nighty-night, Patrick. |
Patrick: A horse. A horse. | Not now, Gary. Give me a few more minutes. What? Uh, Gary? |
Gary: Meow. | Huh? Oh, horsey! Patrick, you were right! You can be a horse. Easy there, big fella. Easy... Ah! That's a good horsey. Hmm, horsey. That's not right. You need a name! I think I'll call you... Patrick! Whoa! Ride 'em, cowboy! Uh, bucking bronco. |
Norton: Rodeo clown. | Safety first. Giddy up, Patrick! Looking good, Ms. Sandy. |
Sandy: Thank you. And the horse you rode in on? | Morning, old timer. |
Kid #1: Can we pet him, mister? | Sure, but be gentle. |
Kid #2: He's so soft. Squidward: What's all the hubbub out here? What the? So Patrick's a horse now? Ha-ha! Your phony baloney pony's more like an old gray mare. Sorry to say, but, uh, this one's ready for the glue factory. Mr. Krabs: What kind of hub— What are you doing violating me personal space? Kids: Aw... He's really fuzzy. Mr. Krabs: Oh! Horsey rides! Kids love horseys. Great idea having Patrick play pony. I'll charge these kids ten bucks a ride and cash in big time! | Oh, I don't know, Mr. Krabs, I think Patrick will only let me ride him. |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, nonsense. Pony rides! Ten buckaroos! | Giddy up, Patrick. Giddy up. |
Squidward: Now, I don't mean to nag, so don't bridle me when I say this, but your dream horse is more like a nightmare! Get it? Night? Mare? Ha-ha! Squidward: Oh, yeah, now you're feeling your oats. Ha-ha! I'm so good. Mr. Krabs: Four at a time quadruplicates me money. Let's try for five. Mr. Krabs: Uh-oh. Ooh. Oh! Ooh. Kid #3: My wittle weg! Kids: Yay! Mr. Krabs: All right, next up. Kid #3: My other wittle weg! | Horsey Patrick, come back! |
Mr. Krabs: That's me money running away! Come back! Squidward: Oh, yes. Oh, yes, come back. I said, Whoa, horsey Patrick. Look at me. I'm a horse. Clopity, clopity, clopity. Mr. Krabs: Clopity, clopity, clopity. | Patrick. Patrick... Patrick. Patrick! Patrick? Hey, it's okay, boy. It's me. Your old pal, SpongeBob. Remember? Okay... Would you like me to whisper? Nice Patrick. Pretty Patrick. Good Patrick. Calm down, buddy. I don't want to lose you again. Whoa! Ow! Ow! Aw. And all this time, I thought I was the one breaking you, but you were the one breaking me. Patrick horsey, giddy up! What? |
Squidward: Oh, this is humiliating. Mr. Krabs: Quiet. Horseys don't talk. Okay, kids, ten bucks a ride! Who's next? Kid #4: Me! Get moving, horse! Squidward: Ow! Cut it out! Mr. Krabs: Ride's over. Who's next? | Wow, Mr. Krabs. How'd you get Squidward to give rides? |
Mr. Krabs: Hmm... Says right here in his contract. I can work him like a horse. Squidward: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Hey, get your mule away from my show pony! This here's a Thoroughbred. Squidward: Huh? Mr. Krabs: Look at that flank. Get a load of those locks. Not to mention that loin, eh? Squidward: Oh, yeah. I'm a real stud. Mr. Krabs: Now look at your old pile of dog food. | I'd put my pile of dog food up against your stud any day! |
Mr. Krabs: Oh, yeah? How 'bout a race, then? First one to delivery a Krabby Patty to Black Devil Bay wins. | You're on! |
Sandy: I want a clean race. No cheating! Wait for the bell. Ah! Mr. Krabs: Ha, ha! Eat my dust! | Well, okay. Mmm. Mmm. Hey, your dust was delicious! |
Mr. Krabs: This shortcut sign should send SpongeBob and Patrick far from the finish line. Hi-ho, Squidward! | Whoa! Whoa, shortcut. This could be a trick. I love tricks! Whoa, whoa! Hyah! Oh, boy, we're ahead! |
Mr. Krabs: No, you're actually behind! | Oh... Huh? Whoa, Patrick. Whoa. |
Mr. Krabs: Oh! Have some slippery mustard, slowpokes! That was extra spicy slippery mustard! Oh, ratfish! I've got one more trick up me sleeve. This is the police! I'm pulling you over for speeding! Officer John Slugfish: No, this is the police! I'm pulling you over for impersonating an officer! | Here's your delivery, sir. What? |
Patrick: I was hungry. Mr. Krabs: We win! We win! I—I had the best horsey! I had the best horsey! Patrick: I don't want to be a horse anymore. | Okay, buddy, but remember, you can still be anything. |
Patrick: In that case, I think I'll be... a crab! Ark, ark, ark, ark, ark, ark! Mr. Krabs: Huh? Oh, no, you don't! Come back here with me claws! | How 'bout a ride back to the old Krusty Krab, cowboy? |
Narrator: Feel droplets gently cascade over your body. Squidward: Oh yeah... Narrator: Visualize yourself in a private grotto. Focus your perceptions on the native fauna, and the soothing nature of their rustic calls. Squidward: Huh? Narrator: You are one with nature. Squidward: Ahh... What the—!? Barnacles! Patrick: How do you like that, baby? | Oh, yeah. Well, what do ya think about this, baby? |
Squidward: Question. Are you two acting even more infantile than usual this morning? | Uh-huh. ‘Cause I found a box of my old baby toys in the attic, and we're playing with them. Hey! My old teddy walrus! This stuff really takes me back. |
Patrick: Yeah. it makes me feel baby-ish. Oh, Look at me I'm a baby. | Babies don't talk like that, Patrick. They talk like... |
Squidward: Just as the essential oils were kicking in. Hey! I'd appreciate some quiet! How dare you scoot away from me, I'm scolding here! Would you two for once, act your age?! Fine! Act like infants your whole life! See if I care. I'm returning to my grown up lifestyle. So keep it down! SpongeBob and Patrick: Squidward! Patrick: Hey, he's mumblin' and droolin' like a little baby. | Well, I don't know, Patrick. He isn't looking so good. He should probably see a doctor. Come on, let's take him to the hospital. |
Patrick: Hang in there, buddy. We'll have you fixed up in no time. Purple Doctorfish: Hmmm? | So what's the prognosis, doctor? |
Purple Doctorfish: Your friend has a condition known by the medical term of Head-go-boom-boom-itis. Not to worry, though, he should recover over normally over time, but he mustn't receive any more blows to the head or he may remain this way permanently. Just care for him as if he were your very own bouncy baby boy and he'll be fine. Patrick: Hey, little Squidward. Ready to have some fun? Woop-ee-doo! | Okay, Squiddy! Din din is ready. Where is our little miracle? Patrick, how could you! There, there! My little darling. We're supposed to protect his head, remember? Okay, Squiddy! I made your favorite. Krill tartare with an algae vinaigrette. Here it comes, open wide! Come on, little buddy, you got eat healthy so you can grow up to be big and cranky. Just watch the airplane land in the hangar. See, Patrick, sometimes you have to out-think the baby. You know, Patrick, maybe we... |
Patrick: Ahh, thanks for sharing, baby | Okay. Time to lighten things up. Do you like games, Squiddy? |
Patrick: Games? Games is our middle name! | You like that, Squiddy? |
Patrick: He does. | Ohh, this game's kinda dangerous. |
SpongeBob and Patrick: Squiddy! Squiddy. No! Patrick: Don't worry. I got this. | Hooray! Squidward! Squiddy, are you okay? We need to do a better job of protecting him. There, there now, no need to cry. |
Patrick: Don't worry, he'll be settled down in couple of minutes. Narrator: 72 hours later. Mr. Krabs: It's one minute till opening. Where the barnacles are me employerees? I don't pay them to be late. Patrick: Taking care of a baby sure is hard. | You said it! I'm exhausted! Hey, Patrick. I have to go to work. Would you mind holding Squidw.... I guess it's just you and me, little fella. |
Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, Squidward, enough duff-dragging! Get to your stations, pronto! | Mr. Krabs, Squidward is in no condition to perform his Krusty duties. The poor guy has the mind of an infant. |
Mr. Krabs: I don't care if he has seaweed-for-brains. He needs to be behind that register. We've got customers out there just begging to hand me their money. | But... |
Mr. Krabs: No buts! Get to work, you two! | All settled into your work station, I see. Maybe you're ready for your Krusty duties after all! Now let's make it official! Oh, how silly of me! Squiddy needs a high chair! And duct tape! Oh, Squiddy! I'm so proud of you! Just yesterday, you were drooling all over me! And look at you now, working and sitting in a big boy seat! |
Mr. Krabs: All right! That's enough, you two. Time to serve some customers! | Remember, buddy! I'll be right behind you! |
Billy: Can I get a Krabby Patty and a large kelp shake, please? Okay, how much do I owe ya? | Squidward! That's not for eating! There we are. Good as neww-! That's not for eating either! Sorry, sir. |
Mr. Krabs: Hop to it, boys. We haven't even taken our first order! | Yes, Mr. Krabs. You know what to do. Thanks, Squiddy. I can also count on, huh... Will this be for here or to go? We have to work on your penmanship, Squiddy. |
Nat: My face! My face! Also my leg, but mostly my face! Pilar: Hey! Are you going to take an order or what? | Squidward! Yelling at a poor, defenseless baby! You oughta be ashamed! |
Pilar: Listen, man! I'm done playing these baby games! Oh, my Neptune! Customers: What is that? What is it? Mr. Krabs: What in blazes is going on around he...... Whoa! Mr. Squidward! Where are your manners? | Mr. Krabs, watch his head! |
Mr. Krabs: Watch his head? Why don't you watch his diaper? And get it changed! | Yes, sir! Yes, sir! Oh. |
Fred: We're eating here! | Sorry! |
Customer: Hey, I'm trying to walk here! | Sorry! |
Suzy Fish: Hey, I was gonna get ketchup there! | Sorry! Okay, Squiddy! Hold still! And, oh, boy! |
Mr. Krabs: Are you out of your ever-living mind?! We can't change that baby out here in front of the customers! Take him in back where the food is prepared. Oh, that's it! Get that poopy baby out of me restaurant! | Mr. Krabs, if my poopy baby isn't welcome here, then I'm not staying either! Squidward! |
Squidward: What the? Where am I? What's going on? | Oh, Squidward, you're back to your normal grown-up self. |
Squidward: Of course I'm grown-up! Why wouldn't I be? Am I wearing a diaper? | Yes. |
Squidward: Is it full? | Sorry, Squidward, I was gonna change it, but I got in the wra... |
Squidward: Stop! Not another word about this. Ever! | Kids, they grow up so fast. Whoo-hoo! Yeah! |
Gary: Meow. | Oh, Gary, I'm so excited! Tonight, they're showing the only episode of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy that I've never seen! Whoo-hoo! |
Gary: Meow, meow! | It was lost... to the sands of time. Until they found a copy in the producer's underwear drawer. |
Gary: Meow. | It's part two of the two-part special, The Case of the Curious Cliff Hanger. Well, I've rearranged the living room for optimal TV viewing. |
Gary: Meow? | The popcorn's a-popping. |
Gary: Meow. | And the soda's on ice. All that's left is to set the VCR to record so I can relive the magic over and over forever. Hmm, but which tape to use? Don't have any blank ones left. Hmm. Oh, here we go. Who needs a tape of their own birth, anyway? Yoop, done! Now it's just one quick shift at the Krusty Krab, and I'll be back for the evening's entertainment. Normally I like working, but today is moving so slowly. Oh, at this rate I'm never gonna see Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Hmm? |
Barnacle Boy Patty: We'll help you get through the day, SpongeBob. Mermaid Man Patty: And tonight we'll conquer evil! | Aw, you guys always make me feel better. Hmm? |
French Narrator: One Shift Later... | All right, bye, Squidward! Bye, Mr. Krabs! See you tomorrow! |
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