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Patrick: Hmm. In that case... (both he and SpongeBob scream. Back to the other train parts with the tender, passenger coaches, and caboose) Fish #1: Hey, what's going on? Fish #2: I've got places to be. Fish #3: Let's go already! Plankton: (opens one of the train doors and we see Far-Out-Ville and the bank across the way) It's too easy. (back to the head of the train)

Patrick, we have to stop this thing! Go see if you can do something with that stuff. I'll try and get the door open.

Patrick: What do I do? What do I do? (reads the brake signal) B-R-A-K-E. BREAK. I can do that. Well, SpongeBob, I think our troubles are over. (shows the brake signal in his hand that he just broke)

(peers back and screams in fear when he sees that Patrick has broken the brake signal off) You broke the brake?

Patrick: It told me to.

What do we do now? (starts pushing the buttons and messing around with the controls) Oh, one of these thingama-hoozies has to stop the train. Patrick, try something!

Patrick: I'm on it. (starts shoveling coal into the engine's firebox) Maybe shoveling in these black rocks will help. (The train engine overheats and runs out of control as if it might fall apart. At a train signal station, SpongeBob and Patrick signal for help over the radio) SpongeBob & Patrick: We're on an out-of-control train! (man spits out his coffee) Man: This is control station to engine five. Do you copy?

Oh, uh, yes, sir. I copy. I'm SpongeBob and I'm on an out-of-control train.

Man: Kid, let me talk to the engineer.

Um, who?

Man: The guy driving the train.

Oh, uh, th-that would be me. And Patrick's here, too. Say hi to the nice gentleman, Patrick.

Patrick: Hi.

Oh, the back of the train is gone!

Man: Oh, no. (looks at map) The train's headed straight for the rest home. (picture of Rest Home) And that means...

Means what? Means what? What does that mean, mister?

Man: (snaps on helmet) It means that train's coming right through that-- (the train engine crashes through the train depot) Beware the twisted trestles, kid! (lets go of the train engine)

What is that?

Man: (points) That's that. (the train engine does some loop-de-loops. SpongeBob and Patrick cheer and laugh) SpongeBob & Patrick: (sigh) That was fun. Patrick: Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. I'll save us! (runs faster than the engine and holds up a 'STOP' sign. The train keeps going. Patrick tries again but uses a lemonade stand) Ice-cold lemonade! Get your ice-cold, tasty, refreshing, and also ice-cold lemon... (groans. The train engine passes by) Hey! Everyone stops for free lemonade! (runs past the train again)

'Attaboy, Patrick. Don't give... (Patrick puts down a giant piece of coral rock. The overheating engine flips around and slides on the tracks)

Patrick: Hey. Hey, wait for me... (climbs into the engine's cabin) Hey, SpongeBob! (the train engine crashes through a tunnel)

Whoa! Whoa! (the overheating train engine is getting near the Rest Home)

Rest Home Citizen: There's a train behind you. Rest Home Citizen #2: How many times do you think I'm falling for that one? Patrick: Hey, would you quit messing around? You're making me sick. (the train engine stops before hitting the Rest Home. One of the citizens peeks at the other ones cards) Rest Home Citizen #2: Hey! (SpongeBob and Patrick sigh)

Sorry, oldsters, we'd love to stay and help you clean up the mess, but we've got a formula to save. (the train engine starts again but back toward Far-Out-Ville)

Patrick: Hmm. (reads the throttle letters) T-H-R-O-T-T-L-E. Break! I can do that. (breaks the throttle handle. Walks up to SpongeBob) You didn't need this, did you? (The engine starts to increase its speed and go faster and faster. Cut to the bank) Plankton: Hee hee hee hee hee. Ha ha ha ha ha. (uses ladder to get up to the safe-deposit box) Come to papa! (opens box and gets formula) At last, my day of triumph has come! Again. Mr. Krabs: Well, well. (turns on a light) Plankton: What? B-b-but how? Mr. Krabs: You honestly didn't think I would have left you out of this elaborate equation, did you? Plankton: I can explain, Eugene. I, uh, I was just keeping it warm for you. Yeah. Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Sure. I believe ya. (grabs Plankton) Say, since you went through all the trouble of getting here, there you go, Plankton. (as he puts Plankton in his safe-deposit box, Plankton jumps out and gets the formula) Enjoy the scenery. Hey, where'd he go? Plankton: Checkmate, Krabs! (laughs evilly. The runaway engine runs into the bank and squishes Plankton) Ow. Mr. Krabs: Good job, boyo.

I simply refused to fail, sir.

Bank Teller: (clears throat) That's all very wonderful, but do you mind telling me how you intend to pay for the damage to the bank? Mr. Krabs: Uh... You know, I just remembered, I'm late for a very important meetin'! Take care of it, will ya boy? Bank Teller: (grabs Mr. Krabs) Not so fast, Krabs. Looks like you have just enough in your bank account to cover the cost. Mr. Krabs: Noooooooooooooooo! Narrator: 75 years later...

(now old and in a futuristic Bikini Bottom) And that was the story of the great train caper. Didn't you find it exciting?

SpongeBob's Grandson: (playing a game) Shh! I just beat my high score! Oh, yeah!

Kids today. (snores) Whoo! Yeah! Oh, oh! Oh! Ooh! Oh!

Squidward: SpongeBob, I need— Whoa. Sponge—

Patty, no! Oh, I can't quite reach it.

Mr. Krabs: Listen here, boy-o! As long as that patty's stuck in the chimney, it's money outta me pocket! You're gonna have to go up there and fish it out.

Oh, boy! Looks like I'm taking my career to new heights. Meep! All right, chimney, prepare to be swept. There you are! Good as new! Hold on, patty! I've got you! No!

Mr. Krabs: Okay, SpongeBob. Time to come back down and get to work so I can garnish your wages for wasting that patty! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob?

Oh, you know, I think I'll just stay up here for a while. It's such a nice day, and all.

Mr. Krabs: Nonsense, boy-o. Just climb on down!

No, I'm good!

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, I order you to come down here immediately! Sandy: Don't worry, I'll get him down with my newest invention: Extend-O-Boots. I just press this button, and... Whoa! Sorry, I haven't worked out all the kinks yet! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa-oh-oh! Whoa! Squidward: What the— Mr. Krabs: So, uh... anybody else got an idea? Patrick: It's okay, I got him! Hey, SpongeBob. Whatcha doing wa-a-ay up here? Let's climb down now.

Aw, thanks, Patrick, but you go on ahead. I just can't do it. It's too far down!

Patrick: Aw, don't worry, SpongeBob. Your old pal Patrick has another plan to get you off this roof.

Really?

Patrick: Sure. Just do what I do. Hm... Ow!

Uh, never mind, Patrick. I think I'll stay where I am. Hey, it's not so bad up here. Pretty great, really. I sure do miss my friends, though. Hey, maybe I can see them from up here. Ooh, looks like Squidward has a date. Good for him. It can be so tough to put yourself out there. Oh, no. Poor Squidward. He's all alone! Ah! Don't worry, friend. I'm here for you.

Squidward: Hm? Oh! Oh, that feels good. Huh?!

Hmm, maybe he's hungry. Come on, Squidward! Eat your... Ow, hand cramp! Hand cramp! Hand cramp! Ow-ow-ow-ow! Guess he wasn't hungry after all. I guess there's nothing left to do but go to sleep. Oh, I wish I had my bed... Hey, that gives me an idea. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Perfect. Good night... nobody.

Mr. Krabs: Yoo-hoo, SpongeBob! Time to wake up!

Oh, morning, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: I've come up with a solution for your little roof problem, boy-o! Mr. Krabs: Now you can cook even if you can't get back down.

Oh, thank you, Mr. Krabs.

Mr. Krabs: Now start making me money!

Oh, Grilly, I thought I'd never see you again! Something still doesn't feel right, though. Perfect! Just like my old kitchen. I'm ready! Squidward, order's up! Oh, yeah. I'm stuck up on this roof. Hmm...how do I get these patties down to the customers? Eureka!

Customers: We paid for patties, Krabs! Where's our food? Mr. Krabs: Hey, calm down, everyone. I'm sure we can figure something out that doesn't involve violence or...refunds. Gus: Hey, outside! It's raining Krabby Patties! Squidward and Mr. Krabs: Huh? Umpire: Safe! Jennifer Millie: I'll take one Krabby Patty and a drink, please. I said, And a drink! Frankie Billy: Huh? These are cold! I paid for a hot meal. Customers: Yeah! Frankie Billy: Maybe if we go up there, we can get 'em fresh! Norma Rechid: To the roof! Customers: Yeah!

Whoa! I better make more room up here.

Mr. Krabs: You know, boy-o, at first I just thought you were being a lily-livered, spineless, crybaby, scardey-pants, invertebrate loser. But this rooftop restaurant of yours really has me business booming!

Wish you could've talked Squidward into joining us up here.

Squidward: Finally, this place has some class. I might actually enjoy working here now. Mr. Krabs: Ten more patties, SpongeBob!

You got it, Mr. K. Aw...

Mr. Krabs: No, no—me money! Customer: Hey, I just realized being outside is awful! Fred: Rain? But we're under— Mr. Krabs: Wait, wait, don't go! A little wind never hurt anyone! Patrick: Whoa, whoa! Ow! Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, we're losing 'em. Do something!

Aye-aye, sir!

Mr. Krabs: It's beautiful, boy-o! Henry-Bart: Yeah, it's pretty nice, but now that we're not outside, I'm starting to get bored. Customers: Yeah, so...

Wait! You can't be bored when there's dancing! Whoo!

Customers: He's right!

Hooray! We're not on the roof anymore!

Mr. Krabs: You know, after all that dancing and partying today, tomorrow's gonna feel like starting a new business!

And I'm looking forward to getting in on the ground floor with you!

Squidward: Time to go home already? Ow. Karen: Another bag of chum... Bleh, now to shape this into his Highness' dinner request. Plankton: Almost done. Karen: Here you go. Eat up. Plankton: What's this supposed to be? Karen: Chum seaweed, chum pot pie, chum con coral, and chum tea. Also known as dinner. Plankton: Karen, your memory banks are gumped up again. I did not request chum pot pie. I requested chum stir fry. Karen: Well, I told you months ago that my memory is full but you've been too busy with your latest project. So tell me, Plankton, how do you plan on failing to steal the Krabby Patty formula this time? Plankton: Computer wife, don't start with me! This plan is foolproof I tell you, foolproof! Not only will I soon grasp the formula, but I'll get rid of your bad memory as well. Plankton: Karen, I want you to meet my new computer wife! Plankton: Karen 2! Karen: Karen 2?! I've been...replaced?! Plankton: I'm afraid so. But can you blame me? She's got triple the processing, all the latest software, and a sleek space-age design. The whole package! Karen: I can't believe this! And after all I've done for you! You dumped me for this cheap pile of plastic?! Plankton: Well, I had to cut cost somewhere. Karen 2.0: Who are you calling cheap?! At least I don't rust! Karen: You know, you're going to wish that you'd deleted that comment! Plankton: Hey, come on, babe. Don't take it so hard. You'll find love again. Maybe you'll meet a nice...uh...adding machine. Karen: Oh that does it! Plankton: Oh, why did I program her with a jealousy scheduler. Plankton: And why did I outfit her with a molecular re-arranger ray? Karen: Here's your stir fry, little man! Plankton: Uh, uh. Let's not do something we might regret! Karen: You should know regret's the one thing you left out of my operating system! Plankton: Huh, what happened? Karen 2.0: I accessed the Chum Bucket's power grid, remotely cutting off Karen's power at the source. Plankton: Ha! Karen 2, I knew you were special the moment I laid eye on your motherboard! Goodbye, Karen Classic, hello, Karen 2! Mr. Krabs: Ah, the end of another lucrative work day, SpongeBob.

Yes, the end. Quitting time is almost too much to bear.

Mr. Krabs: Seriously, son, you gotta lighten up. Well, good night, kiddo.

Good night, sir. See ya tomorrow.

Mr. Krabs: Yes, sir, sure as the sea's wet.

Catcha later, so long. Bye Bye Toodaloo! Whoa!

Mr. Krabs: Phew, would be the first I've been saved by a pile of trash.

This isn't a pile of trash. It's a free computer system.

Mr. Krabs: Free! Now what kind of barnacle would throw out a perfectly good computer?

Judging from our location, I'd say Plankton.

Mr. Krabs: Huh. He always has been a knucklehead.

Could this be one of Plankton's elaborate ruses?

Mr. Krabs: Perhaps. But who could pass up a free computer? Let's plug her in, see what she can do. Mr. Krabs: She's loading up. Now let's see how this dial up thingy works. This thing does text mails right?

Yeah, I think so.

Mr. Krabs: Oh, that sounds promising. Mr. Krabs: Our computer's suppose to emote? No need to cry, little lady. Karen: Don't tell me not to cry! Mr. Krabs: She's malfunctioning!

Must be the dial-up thingy!

Mr. Krabs: You're right, must be interfering with her circuitry! Karen: Oh it's not the dial-up thingy. It's Plankton, he dumped me for a newer piece of hardware. Mr. Krabs: Help me out here, buddy.

Hey, there. Dry those computer tears. I'm sure you two will get back together. Plankton just need some time to realize how much he needs you. I mean, you guys were made for each other. Well, you were made more for him and more specifically by him, and now, he's built someone with more modern features who's better in every way. There's no- what was my point again?

Karen: You men are all alike! Mr. Krabs: Wait! Where ya goin’? Smooth, SpongeBob, real smooth. Let's talk this out.

Careful, Mr. Krabs. This still could be a ruse. Karen's loyalty maybe still be with Plankton.

Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob, what part of free computer are you not understanding? Plankton: Tonight, we celebrate, and tomorrow, the secret formula. Karen: I don't ever want to see that low life again as long as I live. Goodbye, you miserable little bug! Mr. Krabs: Well, in the case, welcome aboard!

All right!

Mr. Krabs: Yeehaw! Squidward: Huh? Karen: Welcome to the Krusty Krab. May I take your order? Squidward: My order? Mr. Krabs: I see Squidward must not have gotten the last company text mail. Karen will be taking over your duties from now on, Mr. Squidward. She's efficient and more importantly: I don't have to pay her. Squidward: So, I'm fired? No more taking orders? No more interacting with customers? No more SpongeBob?! I'm free! Ha Ha! I'm free! Whoo. Mr. Krabs: Not so fast, Mr. Squidward. Ivy (gray): Hi there, can I get a Krabby Patty and a side of coral bits please? Karen: You'll get your Krabby Patty when I'm good and ready! Sorry, I'm just... ...going through a lot emotionally, right now.

Well, you know what cheers me up when I'm feeling down?

Karen: You defragment your hard drive?

No, putting in a hard days work at the greatest job in the world: The Krusty Krab.

Plankton: Hey, what's the hold up, Karen 2? That secret formula's not going to steal itself, you know. Karen 2.0: I'm trying to open the door. You didn't exactly design me with arms, you know. Plankton: Yes, I suppose that's true. All right, I got this. What's she doing here? Karen, working at the Krusty Krab? What the?! Karen: Well, if it isn't Little Miss Home-Wrecker. Karen 2.0: And if it isn't the washed up analog has-been. Karen: Analog? Who you calling analog?! Karen 2.0: I see you've taken your proper role as a Cash Machine. Karen: At least I don't look like I was designed to be a glorified vacuum cleaner! Karen 2.0: Well, at least I can say I was designed. Karen: Why I oughta...! Karen 2.0: You rusty bucket of bolts. Karen: You glorified toaster oven! Karen 2.0: You poor excuse for a house wife. Nazz-Mini: Hey, what's going on? Dave: I don't know, but my money's on the one with the chrome back side. Mr. Krabs: Seriously? Did you just say money? Mr. Krabs: Welcome to the fight of the century! Where for only $5.99, and the purchase of two Krabby Patties, you will plead the answer to the age-old question. Which is superior? High-speed integrated circuits? Karen 2.0: Prepare to have your motherboard rattled. Mr. Krabs: ...Or old-school vacuum tubes and diodes? Karen: You're about to have your cookies crumbled! Karen 2.0: Bring it. Plankton: Wait! This isn't getting me any closer to the formula. Karen: Karen 2.0: That will defrag your algorithms. Plankton: Ow! Karen 2.0: Plankton? Karen: Stop! He's hurt! Karen 2.0: You're throwing in the towel? Karen: You heartless homepage-wrecking hussy! Karen: No one runs down my man. Planky, say something... Plankton: Take me home, baby... Karen: Even though you are a tiny green loser, I could never stay... ... mad ...at ...you. Plankton: Karen! Don't you leave me, Karen. Not again! Plankton: I hope this works... Oh, Karen, please wake up! I promise never to take you for granted again! Karen: What happened? Plankton: I had a reality check, that's what happened. Plankton: Come on. Let's go home to the Chum Bucket, honey. Karen: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt there were two of me! Plankton: Two of you? Heh, well that is strange. Mr. Krabs: Oh, great. There goes me revenue. What am I gonna do now?

Well, we could rebuild Karen 2.

Patrick: ♪Makin' it clean, and livin' a dream. Makin' a scene, I'm makin' it clean, I'm makin' it clean. I'm makin' it clean!♪

Hey, buddy, what are you cleaning for?

Patrick: ‘Cause I'm expecting some very important company.

Who's that?

Patrick: My big sister, Sam!

Wow, I didn't know you had a sister!

Patrick: Nobody does. I lost her in the surf when we were kids.

Gee, I'm sorry, Patrick.

Patrick: Sam took care of me when I was just nursing on coral. She was my... my... my... rock!

It's gonna be okay... you're gonna see her again... today... right... today? Come on... cheer up, buddy. Hey, I'll make sure her visit here will be extra super special, no matter what!

Patrick: Thanks, man, you're right. I can't wait to make up for our lost years! Squidward: Would you two pipe down! Patrick: Sorry, I was getting my place ready for my sister. Squidward: Well, I hope she's not as obnoxious as you. Sam: Squidward: Patrick: ...Sam! Sam: Brubber! Patrick: Sis! Sam: Patrick: It's so good to see you. Sam: You. Sister Sam. Have much catch up to do. Patrick: Wow, you pack a wallop, sis. Sam, this is my best friend, SpongeBob.

Yeah, Patrick and I go back a long way. Yeah long way, heh heh, go back.

Patrick: Let’s go inside and play. Sam: House too small. Make bigger. Patrick: Hey, great idea! I'll just go and get some tools and- Sam: No. Patrick: Huh? Sam: I have tools right here. Squidward: Oh, dear Neptune. Didn't you hear me- Sam: Patrick: Thanks, sis! Sam: Sister Sam loves to make rock for brubber. Squidward: Well, make rock some where else. My house is full of sand. Sam: If big nose no like sand, big nose move! Squidward: This is way beyond my property line. Hey, Patrick, that oaf makes a better bulldozer than a sister! Construction humor. Sam: No laughing!

No, no, don't be upset with Squidward. He doesn't mean it, don't you, Squidward?

Squidward: Oh, I mean it, alright. She's a big buffoon, just like Patrick. Except bigger, and dumber, and bufoonier. Sam:

Oh, Squidward, you jokester.

Tuck: Golly-doo-diddley, Clem, that was a nice toss. Clem: Wasn't me, Tuck. My money's on the little missie over yonder. Patrick: Awwww, hey, sis, don't listen to those... meanies. Hey, the new rock is looking kinda... boring. What do you say we decorate it? Sam: Blecorate? Patrick: You can call it whatever you like, sis, as long as we make it spiffy! Squidward: Sam: Make new house spiffy. Spiffy! Squidward: Hey, you can't do that, that's my window! Sam: Blecorate. Patrick: That's the spirit, Sis. Squidward: Oh no. That is definitely not the spirit, Patrick. Your sister is out of control! Patrick: Hey, just mind your own business and let us blecorate in peace! Squidward: You can blecor-decorate until the sea cows come home for all I care, just don't use my property to do it! Sam: More spiffy! Squidward: But that's from... My house! That's it! I've had my fill of this thieving brute! Patrick: How dare you call my sister a thief, just because she took some of your things...

Easy now, gents, let's not let tempers flare. Now don't you think, Patrick, it's a teensie bit unfair that sister Sam dismantled Squidward's house?

Patrick: No I don't. Not even a teensie, eensie, teensie bit. I see now that you've turned against my sister, you've turned on your best friend as well!

It's not like that at all, Patrick. I was just-

Sam: Shush! Meanies make brubber's eyes water! Meanies go home! Patrick: Come on, sis. They won't bother us under our rock. Sam: Meanies is mean. . Squidward:

Squidward... wait, Squidward, w-wait! Before you do anything too rash, let me try to talk to them.

Squidward: The time for talk is over! Now is the time for action! A rock made of sand by two idiots is no match for one carved from the... tides of time!

I don't think you should do that.

Squidward: Who cares what you think?! If it's destruction they want, then it's destruction they'll get! Sam: Who makes noise? Spiffy broken! Sister mad!

Now, Sam, it's not what it seems. Squidward was just rearranging the spiffy.

Sam: Sister Sam rearrange now!

Please don't.

Sam:

Well, Squidward, at least on the bright side it will motivate you to finally take care of that kitchen remodeled. Right, Squidward? Huh? Must be getting started.

Squidward: Patrick and Sam: Huh?!

Squidward, Squidward stop! Just calm down, buddy. Let's ease that tentacle off of the accelerator, hmmm?

Squidward: Oh, you mean like this? Sweeeet destruction! Sam: That'll teach those meanies. Patrick: Your still my rock big, sis.

Patrick, I think your sister's temper is getting out of control.

Patrick: SpongeBob, why are you still saying mean things about Sam?!

She destroyed my house in a fit of rage! She needs to control her temper!

Patrick: Well, I guess she can get a little carried away. Sam: What Patrick doing? Why Patrick talk to meanies? Patrick: Well uh...well...well it's about your temper, Sam. Sam: No have temper! That make sister Sam SO mad! Sister Sam put on mean face! Now smash brubber's house! Patrick: Not the rock! Sam: Patrick? Little Brubber? Little Brubber no wake.

Patrick?

Patrick: Cookie Dough! Sam: Patrick Ok! Sister Sam feel bad. Sorry she hurt Patrick. Should protect little brubber. She go now. Patrick: Sis, wait! Hold on! Aw, don't feel sad. You don't have go! Sam: Yes, Sister Sam must go. Late for manicure. Bye, brubber! Patrick: Bye, sis. Sam: Patrick: Isn't my sister something?

Aw, she's something, all right!

TV Announcer: Mermaid Man: Fleet and forceful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep. Mermaid Man: By the power of Neptune! TV Announcer: Mermaid Man, with his young associate Barnacle Boy, fights for all creatures who live in the sea, against the forces of evil. Villain: Oh, no! The Raging Whirlpool! TV Announcer: Mermaid Man! Champion of the deep. SpongeBob and Patrick: Yay! Champion of the deep! Woo!

Come on, Barnacle Boy. There's evil afoot.

Patrick: Leaping lampreys, Mermaid Man! I'm right behind you!

Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy spot their arch enemy, Reflecto, up to no good.

Squidward: Fun, fun.

You know what this means...

Patrick: Donuts! SpongeBob and Patrick: Oohhh...

By the power of Neptune!

SpongeBob and Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, UNITE!

Creatures of the deep, assemble! Think... harder... Barnacle Boy... Here they come! Blast, Reflecto has become too powerful.

Squidward: What the? Ohh!

If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak.

Patrick: Jumping jellyfish, Mermaid Man. He's destroying the shield!

Quick, Barnacle Boy, back to the sea cave.

Patrick: Right, Mermaid Man. Squidward: SpongeBob! SpongeBob, open up!

Reflecto has found our secret lab.

Patrick: What would the real Mermaid Man do? Squidward: Why don't you go ask him yourself?

Elaborate, you vile fiend!

Squidward: He and Barnacle Boy live in the retirement home on the other side of town.

Hmm, they must be working undercover.

Squidward: Yeah... now please leave me alone. SpongeBob and Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, reunite!

Excuse me, I know that Mermaid Man is working undercover on an important case, but you think we can see him?

Manager: Undercover? Yeah... well, I'll see if they can take time from their busy schedule to see you. There they are. Right over there. Manager: Try not to surprise them.

Patrick! Can you believe it?

Patrick: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in the flesh! Barnacle Boy: Hey, who are those guys? Mermaid Man: Uhh, are they here to fix the TV? Barnacle Boy: What do you want?

Are you Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?

Barnacle Boy: Well, we used to be. But now we're retired.

But you can't retire. There's evil afoot!

Mermaid Man: Wha?! Evil! EEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIILLLL!!! Barnacle Boy! Come quick! I've got the evil!

All I said was, there's evil afoot.

Mermaid Man: EVIL! EVIL! E... Barnacle Boy: Would you please stop saying that? Mermaid Man: EVIL! Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil! Death raaaaay!

Wow, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

Patrick: It's too bad they're old.

What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience. The world needs Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Someone, somewhere, is in trouble, and I won't rest until Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are out of retirement!

Patrick: Oohhh! Pretty lights! Mermaid Man: To the meatloaf! To the broccoli! Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins. Cafeterian: Here you go, son. Haha. Mermaid Man: To the table, awaaaay! Barnacle Boy: Careful! Don't run!

Hey, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man: Uh, here comes the TV repairman. Barnacle Boy: What do you want from us?

Hold on. Just let me look at ya.

Mermaid Man: Stay alert, Barnacle Boy. He... he's up to something. Barnacle Boy: Will you cut... will you stop calling me boy?

Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invented a ray gun that makes things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens. But then the evil Man Ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae. And he globs onto the undersea dome. And he starts sucking on the glass.

Barnacle Boy: What's your point, kid?

You guys are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement.

Mermaid Man: Listen up, you villains. I wanna eat my meatloaf. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. Manager: What is going on in here?! Mermaid Man: You may kiss the bride! Patrick: Did you re-unite our heroes?

No, but I'm married.

Mermaid Man: Up, up, and awaaaay. Up, up, and awaaaay.

Oh, myah. This purse is so big and heavy.

Patrick: Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that!

AHHHH! Hay-lp! Hay-lp! Hay-lp!

Patrick: It's working!

Wha, are you here to rescue little ol' me?

Barnacle Boy: Pipe down! You could wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed.

Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open!

Barnacle Boy: Confound it, get away from him! Mermaid Man: STOP SHOUTIN'! I'M NAPPIN! Barnacle Boy: It's not me, you ol' coot! Retired Elderly #1: Yes. Retired Elderly #2: That's me. Retired Elderly #3: I'm over here!

Excuse me, Mermaid Man.

Mermaid Man: What do you want? Barnacle Boy: This better be good.

This'll cheer you up. We're almost done painting your invisible boatmobile!

Barnacle Boy: GAH! It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! We gotta end our life of leisure. It's time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot. Mermaid Man: EVIL! ...Where is it!? Barnacle Boy: There it is! You know what this means!? Mermaid Man: Donuts! Barnacle Boy: Oh, brother. Barnacle Boy: Say the oath. Mermaid Man: Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, unite! Throw a waterball at 'em! SpongeBob and Patrick: Waterballs! Waterballs! Patrick: Hehehehehe... Barnacle Boy: Mumbling morays. It's not working, Mermaid Man. Mermaid Man: He-he's-he's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Dogpaddle away! Patrick: It's the Raging Whirlpoo!. Mermaid Man: Those fiends. They're actually enjoying it. SpongeBob and Patrick: Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! Barnacle Boy: Now what, Mermaid Man? We need help! Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy: Sea creatures, unite! Barnacle Boy: Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster. Mermaid Man: Sea creatures! ATTACK!!!

Pinch me, I must be dreaming. Mission accomplished, Patrick!

Patrick: Yeah, we did it! Mermaid Man: I did it. I feel five years younger. Oh, it's good to be back! Barnacle Boy: We did it, you ol' coot. Mermaid Man: Who are you? TV Announcer: The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits. Mermaid Man: It's the Aquaphone! What is it, Chief? Uhh, hello? Hello? Hello?! The phone is still broken. Remind me to g-get that fixed. Barnacle Boy: Remind you of what? Mermaid Man: Remind me of what? TV Announcer: Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out.

Wow. That was even better than the old show.

Patrick: It's all thanks to you. Mrs. Puff: We are going to have so much fun! A weekend in a cabin in the woods with the Gal Pals! Sandy, Karen, and Mrs. Puff: Gal Pals! Yeah! Karen: Oh, a Krabby Patty! Perfect. Mrs. Puff: Ugh. Karen: The engine needed greasing. Sandy: Congratulations, Mrs. Puff! Your boat and trailer just got hitched! Mrs. Puff: Hmm, I wonder what's keeping our newest Gal Pal? Pearl: This is gonna be so funny. The Gal Pals will obviously try to prank the newbie, but this newbie is gonna prank them right back.

Boo! Who likes eggs?

Pearl: Not now, SpongeBob. Wait until you're around the campfire. And you're supposed to act scary, not lame.

Oh, scary. Got it! Wait until the fire then make with the scary.

Pearl: Keep working on it. Sandy: Here comes our newest member! Sandy, Karen, Mrs. Puff, and Pearl: Gal Pals! Yeah! Sandy: Here, let me get your bag.

Nice and cozy.